I pray you be not angry, for I will make you merry A pleasant and merry dialogue, betweene two travellers, as they met on the high-way. Breton, Nicholas, 1545?-1626? 1632 Approx. 36 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 8 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2004-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A16755 STC 3663 ESTC S104801 99840532 99840532 5044 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A16755) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 5044) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1340:12) I pray you be not angry, for I will make you merry A pleasant and merry dialogue, betweene two travellers, as they met on the high-way. Breton, Nicholas, 1545?-1626? [16] p. Printed by B[ernard] A[lsop] and T[homas] F[awcet] for Samuel Rand, and are to be sold at his shop at Holborne-Bridge, London : 1632. By Nicholas Breton. Printer's name from STC. Signatures: A-B⁴. Running title reads: I pray you be not angry: for Ile make you merry. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2003-10 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2003-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-12 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2003-12 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2004-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion I PRAY YOV BE NOT Angry , for I will make you Merry . A pleasant and merry Dialogue , betweene two Travellers , as they met on the High-way . LONDON , Printed by B. A. and T. F. for SAMVEL RAND , and are to be sold at his Shop at Holborne-Bridge . 1632. A merry Dialogue betweene two Travellers vpon the High-way , touching their Crosses , and of the vertue of Patience . Fabiano , and Fernunio . Fernunio . FAbian . Good morrow : How d●e you ? and how farre walke you this way ? Fab. I doe as you sée , neither of the best , nor the worst : and am trauelling not very farre ; and yet some what more then a pretty walke ; about some hundreth miles or two for a breathing , to teach the dauncing legges of my youth to plod for the prouision of mine old age : and since it is no better , it is well it i● no worse : For since I haue done my selfe more wrong , then I can make my selfe amends , I must content my selfe with a pudding , while other may feast , that haue better fare . Fern. Then I pray you be notangry : for Patience is a playster for all paine , it is the very poyson of all sorrow , a preparatiue to all comfort , and the onely quieter of a troubled spirit . Fab. Why how now ? Haue you béene a Scholler since I saw you ? Truely I desire not to trouble your memorie , with saying ouer your lesson without booke : all your Aduerbes and your Prouerbes , will not doe me a pinnes worth of pleasure . Fern. Oh Fabian ! haue patience , be not Angry with your Fortune , there are Flouds as well as Ebbs : Time hath his turne , and Fortune may be as great a friend , as she has béene an enemie ; the Starres may one day shine as well ouer your house , as your neighbours ; and therefore stay your hours , you know not when it will come ; and therefore take no thought : I p●ay you be not Angry . Fab. Well Ferna●o , to your sentences : let mee tell you , that you know that I know , that you know , and when you and I did first know one another , you know the World was better with me , then to let mee plod vp and downe in this manner , and with no more company but my Dogge , and my plaine Cudgell : But t is no matter , all is one , for hauing playd wily beguily with my selfe . I can thanke no body for my hard bargaine : for in the time of my youth ( the most perilous point of mans age ) falling into such acquaintance as were finally to my commoditie , as well of the Masculine , as of the Feminine Gender , who so long fed mine humour with folly , that I fell almost into a Consumption , before I found the nature of the disease : at length , ( though some what late , yet better la●te , then neuer ) remembring that my Father left me more Land then Wit , and Nature being more mistris then Reason ouer my ill ruled Senses : and séeing the world at such a passe , that I could haue well wished to haue béene out of it : finding my Friends scorne of mee , my Foes scoffe at mée , some few pitty me , & few comfort me , I resolued to shakeoff my Shake-ragges , and to retire my selfe vnto some solitary place ; where hauing left one Foole , to laugh at another ; one Uillaine to cut anothers throate , and one Honest-man to be example to a whole Parish , I betooke me to a trauelling life , rather to heare then to speake how the world went : and note the courses of the Wise , rather then to enter into the courses of the Wicked whereof the world is so full , that a man can scarce escape their infection : Why ? If I should tell you how I haue béene vsed among them , you would say , I had good cause to be Angry with my selfe , or some body else . Fern. And yet I say , I pray be not Angry : For if it be with your selfe , Fretting will but bréed Melancholy , and Melancholy bring you to such a Sicknesse , that you may repent it when it is too late . And , to bee Angry with any other , if yee cannot reuenge it , it is a folly : if you doe , it is vncharitably ; for you must forgiue . For , if I should tell you of some trickes that were put vpon me , when I was as wise as my Goose on Bedlame Gréene , I should make you beléeue that , al-though I preach Patience to you , I should haue cause to haue little acquaintance with her my selfe : But spight of the Deuill , I hope to goe to Heauen , and though I carry more Crosses in my Heart , then in my Purse , yet I hope ( with my fellow Begger ) to be in Abrahams bosome , when a rich Churle shall daunce with Diues in a worse place : And therefore as a friend , let me say to you , knowing what is good for you ; Whatsoeuer fortune befall you , I pray you be not Angry . Fab. I must confesse , it is good counsell to haue Patience ; for Patience is a pretty Uertue , but that it waites vpon a number of Uillanies : But let me tell you , if a man spend all the money in his Purse vpon a company of vnthankfull Uillaines , and when he commeth to the bottome of his Purse , and there finding nothing , intreateth with his friends ( as he hath held them ) but for an Ordinary or two ; and scoffingly put off , cannot get a Penny among them : What can ye haue in all the rule of Patience ? Onely fret at the heart to heare men say , I pray you be not Angry . Fern. And yet let me tell you , That when Anger will not auaile him , it is better to be Patient , then Angry : for I haue heard it spoken by a Wiseman , That he who cannot be Angry , is a foole , but he that will be Angry , is more Foole : For when I was ( as you said , and I may say ) in the prime of my time , I may say in the foolish pride of youth , when all the Gold in the Parish , was Copper to my Siluer : and my Wit was beyond Reason , when I was the onely Foole of the World : Oh then ( to tell you ) I was ouertaken in the halfe turne , would make one run out of his wits , and into them againe if it were possible : For say this , If a man hath a deformitie in his proportion , is no Wood-cock for his ordinarie course of Wit , hath Wealth enough to liue by his Neighbours without borrowing , is of Parentage with the best of the Parish , is in the way of good speed with a Match worth the making of : and leauing all honest , wise , and good counsell , forsaketh his Fortune , and binds himselfe Prentice during life to an ill fauoured Baggage , the worst child that her father had , whose beautie is like the backe of a sea-cole chimney , and for proportion , the true proportion of a sea-crab , as much wit as a gray Goose , and manners as a blinde Mare , and no more wealth then the Wooll on a shorne Shéepe : besides , the issue of idle drunkennesse , which being grounded in all foolishnesse , can away with nothing but worse then nothing : whose tougne can kéepe no secrets ; whose heart can thinke no goodnesse , and whose life is a world of vnquietnesse : and spight of his heart hauing taken her for better or worse , ( when she cannot well be worse , and will be no better ) must hold out his life worse then ten deaths with her : Say your selfe , that when a man thinkes of this miserie , it would fret him to the very heart : But where is the remedie . Fab. Oh! I pray you be not Angry : for , if a man should haue a Sister whom he loueth dearely , whose beautie with vertue , were a Dowrie for a Prince , her Linage Noble , her personage comely , her nature kind , and her gouernment so discréet , that by the iudgment of the wise , she was a match for the worthy : to see this blessed creature , by the crueltie of the Fates bestowed vpon the bastard sonne of a Begger , whose Father was a villaine , his Mother a foole , and he a Changling : whose eyes were thrée foote out of his head , his nose too long for his mouth , and his skinne too wide for his face , his head like a high-way with a little heath on either side , and his beard bending to the ale-house , from thence came the originall of his little honor : and for his vnder proportion , and answering to the vpper parts : whose wit was onely practised in villanie , whose heart studied but Hell , while his soule was sworne seruant to the Diuell : and yet this rascall Uiper shall , onely with his golden Clawes , créepe into the hands ( for in the heart he could neuer ) of a prettie Wench and carry her away into such a world of discontentments , that she could neuer leaue sorrowing till she had got into her graue : Would it not fret such a Brother as had such a Sister , : or chase such a Louer as had such a Loue , to see such an ouerthrow of his comfort , or confusion of his kind hope . Fern. Oh! I pray you be not Angry : For marriage and hanging some say goe by destinie : and although hanging is but a short paine , and marriage is a lingring miserie , where disagréement is a deadly life : yet since we cannot goe against the will of the higher powers , Patience is a playster , that will in time draw a mans heart out of his belly , except He haue more wit to gouerne his passion . But leauing loue toyes , let me tell you , that if a man finding by some old writings in his mothers chest , that his father had title to a péece of Land , which for want of a good purse , he durst neuer make challenge to it : and say that I were the man , and I by the witnesse of my honest auncient neighbours , can approue it in good conscience to be mine owne in right of law ; and thereupon asking counsell , and paying for words by waight , and by my learned councell perswaded that it is mine past all plea : And thus playing with my Nose , or rather with my purse , till all be spent : with Demurrs and tricks he driues me to beggerie , with suing for mine owne right , while he goes gay with my money , and I starue with his words : a vengeance vpon his craftie conueyance . Would not this fret a mans soule to think on it , and cannot helpe it . Fab. Now God forbid : I pray you be not Angry : for Law was ordained for the best ; and though in all professions some are to blame , yet no doubt , but some haue such consciences , that they would not be corrupted for a kingdome , but Courts must haue their fees , and Schollers must not study for nothing . But for that I am not a good Lawyer , nor euer met with any bribes , I haue nothing to say to them , but wish the wicked their reward , while the honest may take héed by their example : and so leauing them all to the day of their death , I will tell you of another matter . Say , that I had a friend , at least as I take him , and louing him so dearely , that I durst , nay I doe trust him with all that I am worth , and being to take a voyage eyther vpon command or commoditie , fearing some ill courses to be taken for my children if I should die , knowing women generally so sorrowfull for a lost husband , that they will not tarry long for a new : and what fathers in law be to orphants , while widdowes sigh & say nothing , hauing ( in trust to my friend ) made a secret déede of gift of all my estate vnto him , the rather that my wife and children may fare the better : and now I haue escaped many dangers by sea and land , and spoiled of all that I had with me , come home , hoping to find comfort yet at mine owne house with that I left behind me : and there no sooner entred in at the gate , but with a coy looke , and a cold welcome , I find my wife either turned out of doores , or so basely vsed within , that she could well wish to be without : & then , if I take it vnkindly , be bidden mend it as I can , and so with a frowne or a frumpe , almost thrust out of doores , be constrained to goe to Law for mine owne liuing , while my mistaken f●●end hauing turned Turke , ca●es for nothing but his owne commodity : & contrary to all conscience , playes with me for mine owne money , till the Lawyer and he together , haue wonne me quite out of mine owne land , and so play me the Traytor with my trust ; leaue me in the miserie of my fortune , to end my vnhappie daies : Now can you say to this , I pray you be not angry ? Fern. Yes very well ; for since you sée no remedie , but God is such a God in the world , as makes the deuill work many wonders among men , is it not better with Patience to endure a crosse , then to crucifie the soule with impatience : But say that you should haue a wife that you thought did loue you well , when she would stroake your beard , and neuer lie from your lipps , and would speake you as faire as Eue did Adam when she coosened him with an Apple ; would not abide an Oath for a bushell of gold , and be so sparing of her purse , that she would not loose the dropping of her nose : bridle it in her countenance like a Mare that were knapping on a Cow-thistle : would weare no ru●●s but of the smal set , though of the finest Lawne that might be gotten , and edged with a Lace of the best fashion : would not abide no embro●erie inther apparell , yet haue the best stuffe she could lay her hands 〈…〉 sparingly at dinn●● , when she had broke her fast in the bed : and missed not a Sermon , though she pro●●ted little by the word : This dissembling péece of flesh , making a shew of lamentation , out of the abundance of her little loue , for lacke of your good company , if you were but a mile out of the Towne : and if you were to take a iourney , would lay an O●ion to her eyes , to draw out the Rheume in stéed of teares : and hauing eaten an apple , with ●inching in a backward wind , send out a belching sigh for sorrow of the absence of her Goose-man : and then after all these , and a world of other trickes , to bring a man in a bad beliefe of her good minde : if you returning home a night sooner then expected , and a yéere sooner then welcome , should ( hauing keyes to your owne doores ) come in , and find in your owne bed betwixt the armes ( I goe no lower ) of your too much beloued , the liuing carkasse of a lubberly rascall , or perhaps the perfumed cores of some daintie Companion , working vpon the ground of your pleasure , to plant the fruit of idle fancie , to the horne-griefe of your poore heart , could you be pacified with , I pray you be 〈◊〉 Angry . Fern. Indéed you put me to it , with an , If : But I hope there are no such women , fie for shame ▪ it were enough to make murder , but Patience being the meane to saue many a mans life , & that perhaps being her first fault , and she vpon repentance after a secret reprehension likely to turne honest , were it not better to steale away , and haue her mayd to wake her , the matter cleanly shuffled vp , and she with sorrow rather to confesse it in secret , and to bee sory for it , and in shame of her fault to leaue it while few know it rather then in a fury or frenzie bring in your neighbours , raise vp your house , beate your wife , imprison the knaue , bring your wife to shame , and make the world priuie to your ●u●koldry : and so she in a desperate madnesse , eyther shamelesse after a little shame , or gracelesse , in impatience to beare her correction , eyther cut her owne throat , or yours , or both , and so all come to confusion , through lacke of a little charitable discretion : No , God forbid , for rather th●n any such mischance should fall , is it not better to say , I pray you be not angry . For to quit your discontentment , say that I should ( as God forbid I should ) haue marryed an honest Woman , that hath brought me many pretie children is a good huswife in her house , carefull for her children , and louing both to them and me , and for the space of many yeares , with a good opinion of all her neighbours , and good credit with all that know her , had passed some score of yeares or two with me with asmuch contentment as a reasonable man might desire : and to make her amends for all her kindnesse , I should eyther take a whore into my house , or kéepe her as a hackney at rack & manger abroad so long , till being led by the nose , to beléeue that she loues me , when I pay for the nursing of halfe a dozen of bastards : of which , if I be the wicked father , my conscience hath little comfort in ▪ and if any other ( as it is most likely ) be the father or fathers , how am I beguiled to play poore noddy , to let my Purse bloud , to pay for the maintayning of anothers pleasure : And at the last , if shee find me● abridge my liberalitie , in a venemous humor come with an out●ry to my doore , with a nest of her fellow beggers , and there with rayling vpon ●e calling me old leacher , whoremonger , & I know not what , lay her brats downe before my gate , and so with gaping mouth goeth her way , leauing me to my purse onely , to séeke the sauing of my credit , and so become a griefe vnto my wife , a sorrow vnto my children , and a laughing stocke , to mine enemies , a by word among my neighbours , a shame to my selfe , and an enemy to mine owne soule : and thus séeing my wealth wasted , my credit lost or impared , and God so displeased , that I know not which way to turne my selfe : Shall I neyther be Angry with the whore for dewraying me , nor with my selfe to let her befoole me ? Fe●n . No , I say as I did , I pray you be not Angry , for shee did but her kind , to vse her eyes to the benefit of the rest of her members : and therefore you being a man of iudgement , ought rather to be sorry for her wickednesse , then to shew your owne weakenesse , in such yeares to haue a thought of wantonnesse : but sure the flesh is weake , and the strongest may fall , better is a sorrowfull repentance , then a fretting madnesse : and since fretting at your owne folly to sell all the land you haue , will not get you a foote of earth more then your graue , bee not at warres with your selfe to no purpose : cease from doing euill , make much of your honest wife , serue God in true repentance , and the Deuill shall doe you no hurt : for , is it not better to beare your crosse , especially being of your owne making , then to run into further mischiefe by the wicked humour of impatience ? But to the purpose : say this , ( to quit you with another proposition ) put the ●●se that I being ( as you sée ) a proper man , and in the way of good-spéed with a handsome W●man , and she in state able to doe for an honest man that would loue her , and make much of her , and I hauing intent to deale honestly with her : and she giues me her faith and truth , and sweares by her very soule that I haue her heart so fast , that no man shall haue her hand from me and I thinking that because she is old she is honest : and , because she sweares , that she said true : goe about my businesses as she bids mee for some few dayes , and then to returne to the ioyning vp of the matter betwixt vs , & in the meane time , after that I haue spent perhaps more then halfe my yeares wages vpon her in Wine and Sugar , and good cheere , and hope to come to be merry , come and find her marryed to a filthy coosening knaue , who by a little more Money than I had in my Purse for the present , to bribe another rascall like himselfe , who was the maker of the match , dwels in my hoped house , giues me the bag for my Money and hath my fat old sow in such a snare , that there is no getting of her out againe : when I am thus handled for my good will , with this wicked old peece of white-leather , to put my trust in an old hogs-stie for my habitation , and to bee thrust out of doores for my labour , Shall I not be Angry ? Fab. Oh no , in any ease : for Women haue wits beyond mens reason , especially when they are past a Child , or child-bearing , more then they that are past children . Oh I tell you it is a perilous thing to slip occasion in matters of Loue : and age is eyther froward or fraile , and therefore you should rather haue fed her humour full ere you had left her , then to thinke that shee would be vnprouided till you should come againe to her : And therefore , I say , as you say , I pray you bee not Angry . For I will tell you , Say that I being a man euery way to content an honest woman , and hauing vnhappily bestowed my selfe vpon a woman of the worst kind , which before I marryed her , being neither widdow , maid , nor wife , but a plaine whore : and this misery of my dayes , being by my folly brought to some better state then she was worthy : and séeing her selfe in a glasse growne fat through good fare & ease , and setting her countenance euen with the pride of her folly , beginning to thinke better of her selfe , then halfe the parish besides , should chance vpon a little kindnesse , grow in loue with my kinsman , or he with her and so they grow so great , that I should stand like Iohn hold my staffe , while they take their pleasure : she should sit at the vpper end of the Table , and I at the neyther end : she lye in one Chamber , and I in another , and yet must not find fault with it for feare of a stab , or a fig , or some other villany , but with a séeming countenance beare all , as if pudding were the onely meate of the world , while one makes hornes at me , another moes at me , another cals me cuckold , another wittall , and I know all to bee true , and cannot , or dare not doe withall : Doe you thinke that flesh and bloud can beare this , and not be Angry . Fern. Yes very well : for as you haue flesh and bloud , so you haue wit and reason : and when your wit and reason can consider , how her trade brings more commoditie , and with lesse trauell then your trafficke : If you bee not willfull that you will heare no bodie speake but your selfe or so scornfull ; that you can endure no companion in kindnesse : or so couetous , that you will not spare a penny towards the nursing of your neighbours child : or so proud , that you scorne the gift of a friend : you will find that such a wife is worth too Milch , cowes : and whatsoeuer the world saies , you are , beholding to none but her : and where others begger their husbands , she hath made you the head-man of the parish : and then cannot you winck at a little fault that is so full of profit ? Yes I warrant you ; and therefore I may well say , I pray you be not Angry ? Fab. True , it may be that some good asse that knowes not how to liue without the basest trade of Beggerie , will put on any Patience , for profit : But from such a rascall nature God deliuer me . But to requite you with as good as you bring , let me tell you : If I should serue a man of great wealth , and he haue a wenching humour , and he keeping more Maide-seruants in his house , then euer meant to be true Uirgins , & one of these wilde cattle , that for the price of a red petticote would venture the lyning of her placket , should by a mischance of her Masters making , fall into a two heeld Timpanie , which could by no meanes be cured , without my consenting to a wicked marriage for a little money ; which I by the villanie of the Trull , which would put the tricke vpon me , must séeme willingly to yeeld vnto for feare of I know not what to fall out , I know not why : and so giuing a countenance of contentment , to the confusion of my hearts comfort , when she should be deliuered of this mischiefe , hoping that she would meddle no more with any such matters , begin to make a little more of her then she was worthy : and she thereupon so lustie , that she cared not for the parish , so long as the Constable was her friend , giue entertainment to whom she list , and vse me as she list : set more hornes then haires on my head , and care not if I were hanged for my good will. This rascall round about , without good complexion or good condition , as ill fauoured as mannered , and so spoken , as wicked : béeing thus voide of grace , carelesse of all credit , and irremoueable in her resolution , for the wicked course of her life , this ( I say ) hellish péece offlesh to dominéere ouer me , and with the countenance of her master , to make a slaue of her good-man , who should be sent of errands , while she were with her Arrants : I should fetch wine for their drinking , turne the spit to their roast-meate , or walke their horses , while they were sadling my Fillie : and yet all this ( and I say not what else ) I must beare , as though it were no burden for a small reckoning at the wéekes end , for washing a foule shirt , or setting of my ruffs right , or séething of a calues head , or making sauce to a tame goose , or for a nod of my Master , that makes a noddy of his seruant : for such and such like matters , to make vp all matters , and swallow griefe so in my throat , that it is ready to choake me in the going downe : Is it possible to doe all this , that you could doe , I , and not be Angry ? Fern. Yes , very well : for profit is so pleasing , that it puts out a great many ill thoughts that would trouble a man that hath no wit , and for honesty , it is a good thing I must confesse : But , if a man be not borne rich and kéepe himselfe so , he shall gaine little by simplicitie : and therefore as I said , where Patience brings profit , I say still , beare with your fortune , and bee not Angrie . But leauing to talke more of Female discontentments , let me say this : That I being a Man of sufficiencie to supply the Office of a good place , borne of a Noble house , bred vp in all courses requisite for a Gentleman , haue trauelled diuers countries , seen● much of the world by Sea and Land , and through want of my Fathers discretion , not left so good a portion as may maintayne my reputation , without some better matter than mine owne estate , and driuen for my better comfort , to put my fortune vnder the fauour of him , whom I know not what hath made rich : and being onely wise in the world hath no féeling of Gods grace , ●ut by a thousand ill practises , finde the meane before his death to look ouer a great deale of more ground then his graue and this captaine of the damned crue , who is haled to hell with a world of chaines , the son of a begger , & brother to a villaine , to gouerne ouer the honestie of my heart with the commandement of euill seruice : or finding me not for his humour , to frowne on me like an old frying-panne : or to rate me like a Dog , because I will not be a Deuill : to be employed in more vildnesse then halfe a Christian could endure to heare of : now I say , to spend my time in this misery onely for picking of a sallad , waighting at a trencher , looking on a faire house , making curtesie to an old Relique , hold the bason to the Rheume ▪ or hearing the Musicke of a rotten Cough : and after many yeares patience in this purgatory , where all the wisedome I haue learned , were but to corrupt the nature of a good wit , eyther for a trifle to be frowned at , and by trickes to be wrought out : or with a liuery without a badge , to séeke my fortune in some other soyle , to haue serued long for nothing or for worse then nothing , when discontentments must be cancelled and I for feare of a mischiefe , must speake all honour of dishonour , and with a Merry goe sorry sigh out my dayes that are no betterblessed : when I shall sée a f●ole graced , and better wits put downe : honestie scorned , and knauery in more accompt then commendable : and I coosening my selfe with an imagination , that seruice was an heritage , when I found nothing but losse of time and repentance ; Haue I not cause thinke you with all this , to be angry ? Fab. And yet I say , I pray you be not Angry : For , if yée had so much of the grace of God , as to make you rather haue the hope of preferment , then to yéeld to an ill impl●yment , no doubt but eyth●r your priuate life will finde some secret contentment , or your patience will finde s●mewhere , aduancements of your vertues : and therefore rather be ioyful o● Gods blessing , than impatient with your fortune , and thinke not amisse that I say , ● pray you be not Angry . But to requite you : Say that I hauing more money in my Purse than a wise man would part with , but vpon the better reckoning , should be perswaded to play the Usurer , and so with little reward to make my money multiply , & by the cunning working of a cunny-cat●hing knaue , I should be brought ( in hope of gaine ) to take in pawn for my money some lease of a good farme , or péece of rich plate : which being not fetcht by the day of payment , would returne me more than double my money : put my money out of my hands , which I haue fared full hard to get together , and I at the glad of m● forf●yt , hoping to gaine more than a good conscience would away withall , ●inde my lease not worth a point , by a former déede of gift , or such a conueyance as carryeth all away from my fingers , and leaue me ( for all my cunning ) in the Law , to plead repentance to my folly : or my plate challenged for some péece of pilfery , and I brought to trouble for I know not what , and to get out I know not how , till I haue brought my stocke to a poore state where I may sée the iust reward of Usury , when I looke in my purse and finde nothing : Would not this make one Angry ? Fern. Not a whit : for knaues will be knaues , and fooles must bée bitten ere they bee wise : of which if you be none , no ●oubt but there are enough in the world . And finde all the Anger in the world will not recouer a penny losse , let me say to you , as you say to me , I pray you be not Angry . And let me tell you , that vpon a time it was my hap to haue a friend ( as I thought ) wh●m I loued dearely : and building vpon the care of his conscience , that for a world of wealth hee would not play the Iew with mée : It fell ●ut , that I hauing more than a moneths minde to a Wench aboue a yeare old , whose worthinesse euery way might command a better seruant than my selfe , and yet it had so faine out betwixt vs , that our affections were so setled , that I thought ( without death ) there could be no remoue : and therefore fearing no fortune , relying so much vpon her loue , louing ( as I said ) my imagined friend mor●●hā a wise man should do ( for there is a measure to be kept in all thing●e made him acquainted with my secrets touching the intent to steale away my Mistris from the place where shee had no pleasure to be kept in , ●s she had béene long , like a chicken in a coope : and to the performing of this purpose , hoping to haue vse of his best helpe , deliuer him a ring or a Iewell of some value to present vnto my loue , when I know his meanes better than mine owne to h●ue accesse vnto her without suspition : and he after a worl● of protestations sealed with too many oathes , to deale so faithfully , carefully , and secretly for me , as my heart could desire ; when faith there was none nor care of me , nor secrecy , but in kéeping all from me , when like a dissembling Iew , he vseth my Iewell for a meane to rob me of my better Iewell : when he presented it as from himselfe , and revealing some matter of secrecie betwixt vs , vnpleasing to her , and nothing to my profit , with inchanting charmes winnes her affection , and borroweth my Money to cut my throat , till hauing carryed away my Mistris , he eyther laugh at we , or write me a letter of excuse to collogue with mee : When I thinke how with trusting a Knaue , I haue played the foole , in conscience say , If euer man would fall out with himselfe , haue I not cause to be Angry . Fab. No : for as you ●ayd to me , knaues will be knaues : and in matters of loue , he that will not be the follower of his owne cause , may hap to be ouerthrowne in his owne sute : and to looke for constancy in a woman , especially of young years , when bribes and gifts are able to worke great matters in those courses , it is a méere folly : for , say that some are ( I know not how many ) as constant as Pen●l●pe , yet let Danae take héed of a golden shower in her lap : and therefore , I pray you be not angry . For let me tell you , to bee deceiued by a friend , it is an ordinarie matter : to loose a wench , it is a thousand mens fortune : and therefore since she was so fickle to trust to thinke her better lost than found : and for him , get your golden Iewels & your Money from him , and let him walke with his wicked houshold-stuffe : and let me tell you of a discontentment of mind . It was my hap , ( I may say my ill hap ) to cast my affection of late vpon a very proper young man of a pure complexion , neyther effeminate , nor course face● , neyther of leather-sellers , nor painters company , but a good feature and well coloured : and for his countenance , neyther Pauls stéeple height , nor with the fall of the tyde : but carryed in so good 〈◊〉 measure , as shewed his wits no more out of order than his members : for his voyce , neyther Treble nor Ba●e , but a good meine : and his spéech neyther Rethoricall , nor Logicall , nor tragicall , nor Colasticall : but such 〈◊〉 neyther too little , nor too much , as answering directly to euery question : and speaking nece●●arily vpon good occasion wan him such commendation for his discretion , as increasing much my affection , made me ( as I thought ) vpon good iudgement , mak● him a great ●ubiect to my contentment : in briefe , I ●ingled him out of company , to make him my Companion tooke him to my house , bestowed bountifully vpon him , let h●m not want any thing that was needfull for him : my table to dine at , a faire chamber for his lodging , yea & sometime made him my bedfellow ▪ furnished him with money , horse , apparell , bookes , and credit for whatsoeuer hee would demand , yea , and in my absence t●usted him with the gouernement of my whole house , till my fauour bred in ●is folly that that at the first I saw not , such a presumption of his owne worthinesse , as I liked not , where controulling euen my selfe for a trifle , himselfe to blame in the selfe same nature for a greater matter , thinking all too little that was done for him , and vrging more than was méete for him : a● last not able to suppresse the venome of his pride , till his heart made his head swell as big as a Cods-head ; in recompence of all my kindenesse , playes false with my seruant Mayde , steales away my eldest daughter , robs my Cofers , troubles my conscience , crackes my credit , befooles m● wit and doth what he may to seeke the ruine of my state ; Is it possibl● that a ma● could thinke of such a villaine , and not be Angry ? Fern. Yea very well ; and I say vnto you : I pray you be not Angry : For , still knaues will be knaues ; and a man had néede eate a bushell of salt with a Man , before hee grow too farre to trust him : for he w●s a worldling , and out of the simplicitie of your honestie , thinking him to be that he was not , might learne him to trust his like , or any of all , at least with your house , your Daughter , ( if you haue any ) or your seruants , i● you kéepe any : and hauing Patience with your lacke of iudgement , doe for your Daughter , as you haue cause in nature and reason , and pray in charitie ●or his Soule , what euer become of his carkasse and since ( I hope ) you will take this for no ill counsell , I say as I did , I pray you be not Angry . FINIS .