The guardian, a comedie acted before Prince Charls, His Highness at Trinity-Colledg in Cambridge, upon the twelfth of March, 1641 / written by Abraham Cowley. Cowley, Abraham, 1618-1667. 1650 Approx. 200 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 24 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-07 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A34823 Wing C6673 ESTC R16344 11732818 ocm 11732818 48413 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A34823) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 48413) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 487:13) The guardian, a comedie acted before Prince Charls, His Highness at Trinity-Colledg in Cambridge, upon the twelfth of March, 1641 / written by Abraham Cowley. Cowley, Abraham, 1618-1667. [47] p. Printed for John Holden, London : 1650. In two columns. Altered by Cowley and published in 1663 under title: Cutter of Coleman Street. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2002-10 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-12 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2003-04 SPi Global Rekeyed and resubmitted 2003-05 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2003-05 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-06 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE GUARDIAN ; A COMEDIE . Acted before Prince CHARLS His HIGHNESS At Trinity-Colledg in Cambridge , upon the twelfth of March , 1641. Written by ABRAHAM COWLEY . LONDON , Printed for IOHN HOLDEN at the Anchor in the New-Exchange , 1650. The Actors Names . CAptain Blade the Guardian . Old Truman , a teasty old man. Young Truman his Son , in love with Lucia . Col Cutter a sharking Souldier Lodger at the Widows house . Dogrel a sharking Poëtaster Lodger at the Widows house . Puny a young Gallant , a pretender to wit. Lucia Neece and Ward to Captain Blade , in love with young Truman . Aurelia daughter to Blade . Widow , and old Puritan , Landlady to Colonel Cutter and Dogrel . Tabytha her Daughter . Jaylors , Servants , and Fidlers . The Scene London . The PROLOGUE . WHo says the Times do Learning disallow ? 'T is false ; 't was never honour'd so as now When you appear , great Prince , our night is done : You are our Morning-star , and shall b'our Sun. But our Scene 's London now , and by the rout We perish if the Roundheads be about : For now no ornament the head must wear , No Bays , no Mitre , not so much as Hair. How can a Play pass safely , when we know , Cheapside-Cross falls for making but a show ? Our onely hope is this , that it may be A Play may pass too , made ex tempore . Though other Arts poor and neglected grow , They 'll admit Poetry ▪ which was always so . Besides , the Muses of late times have bin . Sanctifi'd by the Verse of Master Prin. But we contemn the fury of these days , And scorn as much their Censure as their Praise . Our Muse , blest Prince , does onely on you relie ; Would gladly live , yet not refuse to die . Accept our hastie zeal ; a thing that 's play'd Ere 't is a Play , and acted ere 't is made . Our Ignorance , but our Duty too , we show : I would all ignorant people would do so . At other times , expect our Wit and Art ; This Comedy is acted by the Heart . The Guardian . Act. 1. Scaen. 1. Widow , Tabytha , Colonel Cutter , Dogrel . Cutter . PRithee widow be not incens'd , we 'll shew our selves like yong Lords shortly ; and you know , I Hope , they use to pay their debts . Wid. I , you talk of great matters , I wis , but I 'm sure I could never see a groat yet of your money . Dog. Alas , we carry no silver about us , That were mechanical and base ; Gold we about us bring : Gold , thou art mighty in each place , Of Metals Prince and King. Why I tell you my pockets have not been guilty of any small money in my remembrance . Wid. I know not , but all things are grown dear of late ; our Beef costs three shillings a stone , and the price of corn is rais'd too . Taby . Nay , mother , coals are rais'd too , they say . These things you think cost nothing . Dog. Nay , Tabytha , Mistress Tabytha ! ifaithlaw now I 'll make a Psalm for you , and be but peaceable . Contain thy tongue , and keep it in Within thy mouths large prison . Both jars , and also many a sin From out the mouth has risen . I 'm onely for Odes , by the Muses , and the quickest for them , I think , in the Christian world , take in Turks , Infidels , Jews and all . Cutt. Have but a little patience , widow ; well● I 'll say this for thee , thou art the honestest Landlady upon the face of the earth , which makes me desire to live in your house ; and you shall not lose by 't : do but mark the end . Wid. I stand not so much upon that ; but I use to ha' Lawyers in my house , such civil compleat gentlemen in their Sattin doublets ( I warrant you ) and broad ruffs , as passes ; and Courtiers , all to be lac'd and slasht , and fine fellows as you shall see in a summers day ; they would not say Why do ye this ? to a woman : and then Knights . Tab. I , and Gentlemen too , mother . Wid. But you , forsooth , come in drunk every night , and fall a sweari●g as if you would rend the house in two , and then mumble and tumble my daughters cloathes , she says . Tab. I , and would have — Cutt. What would we have done ? Tab. Nay no good , I warrant you . Wid. And then you drink up a kilderkin of small beer next morning . Dog. All this shall be corrected and amended , Landlady : yes faith , Cutter , thou must repent , thou hast been to blame sometimes . Wid. Besides , you are always so full of your fripperies , and are always a grinning and sneering at every thing : I was wont to have sober boorders in my house , and not such hee-hee-heeing fellows . Tab. Nay , they mock'd and fleer'd at us as we sung the Psalm the last Sunday-night . Cutt. That was that mungrel Rhymer ; by this light , he envies his brother Poet honest Iohn Sternhold , because he cannot reach his heights . Wid. O the father ! the Colonel 's as full of waggery as an egge's full of meat : I warrant , M. Dogrel , what you get by him you may e'en put i' your eye , and ne'er see the worse for 't . Cutt. Well , and how dost ifaith now , honest Landlady ? when shall we walk again into Moor-fields , and rejoyce at the Queens Cake-house ? Dog. I 'll bespeak Cakes and Ale o' th' purpose there ; and thou shalt eat stew'd Prunes , little Tabytha , till thy smock drop again . A word i' you ear , Landlady : Can you accommodate us with two shillings ? To morrow ere the rosie finger'd morn Starts from Tithonus bed , as Authors write ; Ere Phoebus cry Gee-hoe unto his team , We will restore again , and thank you for your pain . Cutt. I 'll tell you a secret , Landlady : Captain Blade and I shall be call'd shortly to the Court ; the King has taken notice of our deserts : I say no more : though yet thou scorn'st me , Tabytha , I 'll make thee a Lady one day . Will you lend , widow ? Great affairs bid me make haste . Wid. I care not much if I trust you for once : Come in and take it . Dog. Then Mistress let me lead you thus , And as we go let 's buss . Tab. Buss me no bussings . O lord , how you tumble my gorget ! Exeunt . Act. 1. Scaen. 2. Captain Blade , solus . I could now be as melancholy as an old scabbie Mastiff , or the Lions in the Tower : 't were a good humour to repent . Well , Captain , something must be done , unless a man could get true gems by drinking , or , like a mouse in a cheese , enlarge his house-room by eating . Four hundred pound a yeer cashier'd ? Four hundred , by this light , Captain . All my comfort is , that now the usurer's damn'd ; and now that niggardly three score and ten wither'd chap-faln Puritanical thing , his wife , refuses to marry me : I would see her burnt for an old witch before I 'd take her for a wife , if she had not Agues , Squinancies , Gouts , Cramps , Palsies , Apoplexies , and two dozen of diseases more then S. Thomas Hospital ; and if she live long with all these , I 'm sure she 'll kill me quickly . But let her be damn'd with her husband : Bring some drink , boy ; I 'm soxt , by this light , with drinking nothing yet . Act. 1. Scaen. 3. Blade , Cutter , Dogrel . Blade . What are ye come ? Bring us a Tun then , and that so big , that that of Heidelberg may seem but like a barrel of pickl'd Oysters to 't . Welcome Snapsack , welcome little vermin of Parnassus : how is 't , my Laur●ate Rhymer ? Cost thou sing Fortune my foe still with thy brother Poet ? Dog. Ye Muses nine assist my verse , That dwell by Helicon along ; Captain Blades praise I will rehearse , With lyre and with song . Bla. Why this right Ballad , and they hobble like the fellow with the wooden leg that sings them . And how dost , man o' blood ? Cutt. As well as a man of worth can do in these days , where deserts are so little regarded : if Wars come once , who but Cutter ? who else but Colonel Cutter ? God save you , Colonel Cutter , cry the Lords ; the Ladies they smile upon Colonel Cutter , and call Colonel Cutter a proper Gentleman : every man strives who shall invite Colonel Cutter to dinner : not a Cuckoldly creditor dares pluck me by the cloak , and say , Sir , you forgot your promise , I 'm in a strait for moneys , my occasions force me , or the like . Bla. Cheer up , my Hercules upon a signe , I have a plot for ye , which if it thrive , thou shalt no more lie sunning in a bowling-alley , nor go on special holidays to the three-peny Ordinary , and then cry It pleases my humor better then to dine at my Lord Maiors . Cutt. Would we had some drink here to stop your mouth . Bla. No more be sick two or three days while thy boots are vamping : no more out-swear whores in a reckoning , and leave the house in an anger . Cut. Ha' you done ? Bla. Nor sup at Taverns with Radishes : nor for a meals meat o'erthrow the King of Spain of the Hollanders when you please : no● when you go to bed produce ten several Tavern snuffs to make one pipe of Tobacco . Cut. 'Slid would I had one here . Bla. Nor change your name and lodging as often as a whore ; for as yet , if you had liv'd like a Tartar in a cart , ( as you must die , I fear , in one ) your home could not have been more uncertain . Your last Gests were these : From a Water-mans house at the Banks side , ( marry you stay'd there but a small while , because the fellow was jealous of his wife ) passing o'er like great King Xerxes in a Sculler , you arriv'd at a Chandlers house in Thames-street , and there took up your lodging . The day before you should have paid , you walkt abroad , and were seen no more ; for ever after the smell of the place offended you . Next , you appear'd at an Ale-house i' th' Covent-Garden , like a Duck that dives at one end of the pond , but rises unexpectedly at the other . But that place ( though there was Beer and Tobacco there ) by no means pleas'd you ; for there dwelt so many cheaters thereabouts , that you could not live by one another ; they spoil'd your trade quite . Then from a Shoo-makers , ( as you entitl'd him ; marry some authors call him a Cobler ) to a Basket-makers ; from thence to the Counter : from thence , after much benevolence , to a Barbers ; changing more lodgings then Pythagoras his soul did . At length , upon confidence of those new breeches , and the scouring of that everlasting Buff , you ventur'd upon the widows , that famous house for boorders , and are by this time hoysing up your sails , I 'm sure ; the next fair winde y' are gone . Cut. I wonder , Captain , among so many rascally houses , how I happen'd to miss yours . 'T is true , I have not lien leaguer always at one place : Souldiers must remove their tents : Alexander the Great did it an hundred times . Bla. Now to the words of comfort — drink first — then Lordings listen all . Dog. We do , both great and small . O my conscience this cup of wine has done my genius good . Bla. When first my brother departed — Dog. 'T was poorly spoken , by this day . Bla He committed his daughter and estate to my care ; which if she either di'd , or married without my consent , he bequeath'd all to me . Being five yeers gone , he died . Dog. How frail is humane life ! Well sung the divine Poet Like to the damask rose you see , Or like the blossom on the tree , Or like , &c. Cutt. Sirrah , Trundle , either hear out peaceably , or I shall cut your ears off . Proceed , Captain . Bla. I falling into ill company , yours , or some other such idle fellows , began to be misled , could drink and swear , nay , at last , whore sometimes too ; which courses having now at last made me like Iob in every thing but patience ; your Landlady ( for to her husband my estate was morgag'd . ) I have sought all means to marry . Dog. That Niobe ! that Hecuba ! Bla. Pish ! I could have lien with either of the two , so 't had been before Hecuba was turn'd into a bitch , or t'other into a stone : for though I hate her worse then small beer . Cutt. Or pal●d wine . Dog. Or proverbs and Latine sentences in discourse . Cutt Or a Sermon of two hours long . Bla. Or Dogrels verses , or what you will else ; yet she has money , blades ; she would be a Guiana or Peru to me , and we should drink four or five yeers securely , like Dutchmen at a Wedding . But hang her , let her die and go to hell , 't is onely that can warm her : she scorns me now my money 's gone . Dog. Thus Pride doth still with Beauty dwell , And like the Baltick ocean swell . Bla. Why the Baltick , Dogrel ? Dog. Why the Baltick ? This t is not to have read the Poets . Bla. Now if my neece should marry , praesto , the means are gone ; and I must , like some Gentleman without fear or regard of the gallows , betake my self to the high-way , or else cheat like one of you , and tremble at the sight of a pillory . Therefore — ( prick up your ears , for your good angel speaks ) upon conditions of share , I marry her to one of you . Both. I but how , Captain ? how ? Bla Why either she shall have one of you , or no body ; for if she marry without my consent , the money 's mine own : and she 'll be hang●d first i' th' Friers rope , ere she turn Nun. Cutt. I 'll be a Franciscan , if she do . Bla. Not a Carthusian , I warrant thee , to abstain from flesh . Thou mightst well have taken holy Orders , if it were not for chastity and obedience : their other vow of never carrying money about thee , thou hast observed from thy youth up . Dog. I 'll have her , by Mercury ; I have two or three Love-odes ready made ; they can't chuse but win her . Cutter , adore me , Cutter , thou shalt have wine thy fill , though thou couldst out-drink Xe●xes his army . Cutt. You get her ? what with that Ember week-face of thine ? that Rasor of thy nose , those ea●s that prick up like a Puritanical button-makers of Amsterdam ? thou lookst as if thou never hadst been fed since thou suck'dst thy mothers milk : thy cheeks begin to fall into thy mothers mouth , that thou mightst eat ' em . Why thou very lath with a thing cut like a face atop , and a slit at the bottom ! I am a man , and can do her service ; here 's metal , boy . Dog. 'T is i' your face then . Cutt. I can fight her quarrels , boy , and beg●t on her new Achilleses . Dog. Yes — thou art a very Achilles — in the swiftness of thy feet ▪ but thou art a worser coward then any of the Train'd Bands : I 'll have a school-boy with a cat-stick take away thy Mistress from thee . Besides , what parts hast thou ? hast thou scholarship enough to make a Brewers clerk ? Canst thou read the Bible ? I 'm sure thou hast not . Canst thou write more then thine own name ? and that in su●h vile characters , that most men take them for Arabian pot-hooks ; and some think thou dost but set thy mark when thou writest thy name . I 'm vers'd , Cutter in the whole Encyclopaedie , a word that ●s Greek to you . I am a Wit , and can make Greek verses ex tempore . Bla. Nay not so ; for if you come to your verses ▪ Dogrel , Im sure you ha' done with wit. He that best pleases her , take her a Gods name , and allow the tother a pension : What think you , gallants ? Cutt. Agreed ; thou shalt have three pound and a cloak . Dog. Away , you puff , you kickshaw , you quaking custard . Cutt. Prethee be patient , thou shalt have lace to 't too . Bla. Pox take you both ; drink and be friends . Dog. Here 's to you , Cutter . I 'm something cholerick , and given to jeering : but what , man ? words are but winde . Bla. I 'll call her in . Why boy within three , call my neece quickly hither . Dog. I 'm undone ; I ha' left my Ode at home : undone , by Mercury , unless my memory help me . Cutt. Thus and thus will I accoast her : I 'm the man ; Dogrels clothes will cast him . Act. 1. Scaen. 4. Blade , Cutter , Dogrel , Lucia . Bla. When she has seen you both , one void the room , and so wooe by tu●ns . Dogrel . I●ll go out fi●st , and meditate upon my Ode . Bla. Welcome , dear neece ; I sent for you to entertain these Gentlemen my friends : and heark you neece , make much of them ; they are men of worth and credit at the Court , though they go so plain ; ●hat's their humour onely : And heark you , neece , they both love you ; you cannot chuse amiss . I ha' some business — Your servant , Gentlemen . Luc. Not chuse amiss ? indeed I must do , Uncle , if I should chuse again . Y' are welcom , Gentlemen . Cutt. I thank you , fairest Lady : I am a Souldier , Lady , and cannot complement ; but I ha' travell'd over all the world , Germany , Morocco , Swethland , Persia , France , Hungary , Caleput , Peru. Dog. 'Slid ▪ ho● he shuffles all the Countries together like lots in a hat ! Cut Yet I never saw before so fair a Lady . I cannot complement i' faith . Luc. Y'have taken a long journey , Sir 't were best To rest your self a little : Will you sit ? Will you , Sir , take a seat too ? Dog. ' Slife I can't say my Ode now . I 'll wait upon you presently . Exit . Cutt. Fair Lady — ( This 't is to converse with none but whores : I know not what to say to her . ) You are the onely mistress of my thoughts . My service to you , Lady . Drinks to her . Luc. To me , Sir , do you speak , or to the wine ? Cutt. To you , by Mars . Can you love me , Beauty ? I 'm sure your uncle prefers no man under the cope — Luc. Soft , Sir , d' ye use to take in Towns so soon ? My uncle gave an equal commendation To both of you . Cutt. What ? to that mole-catcher i' th' old Serge ? he brought him in for humour , to make you sport . Ill tell you what he is . Luc. Pray do , Sir. Cutt. The very embleme of poverty and poor poetry : the feet are worse patcht of his Rhymes , then of his Stockings : if one line forget it self , and run out beyond his elbow , while the next keeps at home ( like him ) and dares not shew his head ; he calls that an Ode . Your uncle and I maintain him onely for sport . I 'll tell you how I found him ; marry walking in Moor-fields cross arm'd : he could not pluck his hat over his eyes , there were so many holes in it : he had not so much linen about him as would make a cuff for a Bartlemew-fayr-baby . Marry the worst I like in him is , he will needs sometime● , in way of gratitude , present me with a paper of Verses . Here comes the vermin . Act. 1. Scaen. 5. Cutter , Dogrel , Lucia . I 'll leave him alone with you , that you may have the better sport : he 'll not shew half his tricks before me . I think I ha' spoil'd his markets . Now will I stand behinde the hangings , and hear how she abuses him . I know by her eye she loves me . Cutter , thou' rt blest Exit . Dog. Fairer , O fairer then the Lilly , Then Primerose fair , or Daffa● illy ; Less red then thy cheeks the Rose is , When the Spring it doth disclose his Leaves ; thy eyes put down the star-light ; When they shine , we see afar — light . O these eyes do wound my heart With pretty little Cupids dart ; Wounded I am with deadly smart ; The pain raigns in every part . Thy beauty and thy great desart Draw me as horses draw a Cart. O that I had Rhetoricks art — impart-sart-mart-start . To move thee ; for I would not start Till I — Luc. Take heed , Sir , you 'll be out of breath anon . Y'ha ' done enough for any honest Poet. Dog. Fairest nymph , I swear to thee , The later part was made ex tempore ? Not a bit of prose goes down with me . Luc. ( I must know 't . ) May I be so bold as to enquire of you Your friends name that was here ; he seems to be A man of worth and quality . Cut. That 's I. Dog. Quality ? yes ? Cut. That 's I again . If whoring , drinking , cheating , poverty and cowardice be qualities , he 's one of the best qualified men in the Christian world . Cut. O the devil ! Luc. He 's a great traveller . Dog. In suburbs and by-lanes ; he never heard a gun but in Moor-fields or Finsbury at a mustering ▪ and quak'd then as if they had been the Spaniards : I●ll undertake a Pot-gun shall dismay him Cutt. A plague upon him — Dog. Those breeches he wears , and his hat , I gave him : till then , he went like a Paper-mill all in rags , and like some old statue in a ruin'd Abbey . About a month ago , you might ha' seen him peep out at a grate , and cry , Kinde merciful Gentlemen , for the Lords sake , poor prisoners undone by sur●●tish●p , and the like . Cut. Contain thy self ▪ great spirit ; keep in a while . Dog. We call him Colonel in an humour onely . The furniture of his chamber ( for now , at mine and some other Gentlemens charges , he has got one ) is half a chair , and an earthen chamber-pot , the bottom of an inkhorn for a candlestick , and a dozen of little gally-pots with salve in 'um ; for he has more diseases — Cut. I can endure no longer . Enters . Dogrel , thou lyest ; there 's my glove ; meet me an hour hence . Dog. And there 's mine . I 'll put a good face on 't ; he dares not fight , I●m sure . Cut. Two hours hence Expect the Saracens head ; I 'll do 't , by heavens . Though hills were set on hills , and seas met seas , to guard thee , I 'd reach thy head , thy head , proud Dogrel . Exit . Luc. Nay , y' are both even : just such an ex'lent character He did bestow on you . Why thou vile wretch Go to the stews , the gaole , seek there a wife ; Thou 'lt finde none there but such as will scorn thee . Was thy opinion of my birth or fortune , My chastity or beauty ( which I willingly Confess to be but small ) so poor and lowe , That thou couldst think thy self a match for me ? I●ll sooner marry with my grave ; for thou Art worser dirt then that . See me no more . Exit . Dog. Scorn'd by a mistress ? with a friend to sight ? Hence , lighter Oder ; I 'll biting Satyrs write . Exit . Act. 1. Scaen. 6. Truman filius , Lucia . Tru. I must be gone , my Lucia ; I must leave My self , and thee more then my self , behinde me Thus parts the greedy usurer from his bags , With an heart heavier then those : he fixes His covetous eye upon the charming metal , As if he meant to throng those many pleasures Which several times would yeeld , into one minute . With as much joy he kisses his lov'd Idol , As I do thee , to whom all gold compar'd , Seems but like Pebbles to the Diamond : And then he sighs , my Lucia . Luc. And weeps too , if , like us , he bid farewel . Why should your father be so cruel ? Tru. He 's old and angry , Lucia , very angry , And either has forgot his youthful days , Or else I 'll swear he did not love my mother With half that noble heat that I do thee : For when he heard your uncles resolutions , Doubting your portion if we two should marry , He forc'd me to an oath so strange , which though I then durst swear , I scarce dare now repeat ; An oath ne'er more to see nor hear thee , Lucia , After the envious shortness of this hour , Without his leave . Luc. You will forget me quite then . Tru. Forget thee , Lucia ? 't is not death it self Has so much Lethe in 't : I shall not chuse In the long sleep o' th grave , but dream of thee , If it be true that souls which leave hid treasures ( Being buried far less peaceable then their gold ) Walk up and down , and in their urns want rest , How will my ghost then wander , which has left Such precious wealth behinde it ? Sure it will Desire to see thee , and I fear will fright thee . I would say more , but I shall weep anon . Exit . Luc. So quickly gone ! he might have staid , me thinks , A little longer , and I ow'd that happiness To the misfortune of his future absence . Why did he swear to 's father ? I 'm a fool , And know not what to say . Act 1. Scaen. 7. Truman filius , Lucia . Tru. Stay , Lucia , prithee stay ; I had forgot The business which I came for . Luc. I owe much To your forgetfulness , my Truman : if It be such always , though you forget me , I 'll pardon you . What was your business , pray ? Tru. To kiss your hand , my dearest . Luc. Was that all ? I 'm glad to see your grief so small and light , That it can finde leasure to complement : 'T is not like mine , believe me . Tru. Was not that business , Lucia ? In my opinion now , th' affairs of Kings , The honourable troubles of a Counsellor , Are frivolous and light , compar'd to this . May I not kiss your lips too , dearest Lucia ? I have an inward dropsie ; and my remedy Enflames my thirst : t is that best Nectar onely Which has the power to quench it . Luc. If there be Nectar there , It was your lip that brought it thither first ; And you may well be bold to claim your own . Shall we sit down and talk a little while ? They will allow us sure a parting-time . Tru And that I would not change , not this poor minute In which I see , and hear , and touch thee , Lucia , For th'age of Angels , unless thy lov'd presence Make a heav'n there for me too . What shall I do to bring the days t'an end ? Sure they 'll be tedious when I want thy company . Luc. I 'll pray for the success of our chaste loves , And drop down tears for beads . Tru. I 'll read o'er the large volume of the creatures ; And where I finde one full of grace and beauty , I 'll gaze and think on that ; for that 's thy picture . Luc. Whatever kinde of Needle-work I make , Thy name I 'll intermingle , till at last , Without my mindes conjunction and consent , The needle and my hand shall both agree To draw thy name out . Tru. I will gather flowers , Turn wanton in the truness of my love , And make a posie too , where Lu●ia Shall be mysteriously writ in flow'rs : They shall be fair and sweet , such as may paint And speak thee to my senses . Within . Mistress Lucia , Lucia . Luc. I am call'd : farewel . Act. 1. Scaen. 8. Truman filius , Lucia , Aurelia . Aur. My father , cousin , would speak with you . Luc. I 'll wait upon him . Exit . Aur. Will you be gone so soon , Sir ? Tru. I must offend your father else . Aur. You would have stay'd longer with her , I 'm sure . Tru. It may be so . Your servant , Lady . Exit . Aur. Contemn'd by all ? while my proud cousin walks With more eyes on her then the moon : but I , Like some small petty star without a name , Cast unregarded beams . It must not be ; I snatch of all those glories Which beauty or feign●d vertue crown her with , Till her short light confess her but a Comet . I love thee , Truman ; but since 't is my fate To love so ill , I 'll try how I can hate . Finis Actus primi . Act. 2. Scaen. 1. Cutter , Dogrel . Cut. Come on , Dogrel , now will I cut your throat . Dog. You●ll be hang'd first . Cut. No , by this light . Dog. You 'll be hang'd after then . Cut. I 'll slice thee into steaks . Dog. I believe indeed thou art so hungry , thou couldst feed like a Cannibal . Cut. No , thou 'lt be a dish for the devil ; he 'll dress thee at his own fire . You call'd me Coward : hadst thou as many lives as are in Plutarch , I 'd make an end of ' um . ( I must daunt him , for fear he should fight with me . ) I will not leave so much blood in thee as will wet my nail : and for thy flesh , I 'll mangle it in such manner , that the Crowes shall not know whether it were a mans body or no. Dog. ( He was once a Coward , and I never heard yet of his reformation ) Hear , thou altitonant Ioue , and Muses three . ( Muses ? a plague upon 'um I meant Furies . ) Hear , thou altitonant Ioue , and Furies three . Cut. Nay then Leap from the leathern dungeon of my sheath , Thou Durindana brave . ( Will nothing do ? ) Come on , miscreant . They draw . Dog. Do , do , strike if thou dar'st . Cut. Coward , I 'll give thee the advantage of the first push . Dog. I scorn to take any thing of thee I. Cut. Thou hadst better eat up thy mothers soul , then touch me . Dog. If thou wilt not strike first , take thy life . Cut. I had rather die then give the first blowe , since thou hast said it . Dog. I see this quarrel , Cutter , will come to a quart of wine : shall 's go ? Cut. How rash is anger ! had not reason check'd me , I should have kill'd my Poet for a woman , A very woman . Let 's sheath , Dogrel — Act. 2. Scaen. 2. Cutter , Dogrel , Puny . Here 's company ; 'slid I 'll fight then . Pun. How now , Paynims ? fighting like two sea-fishes in a map ? slaying and killing like horse-leaches ? Why my little gallimaufry , what Arms and Arts ? Dog. Tam Marti , quam Mercurio , I. ' Slife , outbrav'd by a fellow that has no more valour in him then a womans Tailor ? Cutt. By my fathers Soul , I 'll kill him an he were an Army . Pun. Hold ! stop ! this Colonels spirit 's all flame . Dog. 'T is the flame of a flap-dragon then , for 't will hurt no body . Cutt. Mr. Puny , you do me wrong . Pun. What do ye mean bufles ? Cutt. ' Slife , an you hinder me Puny — Pun. Pox take you , kill one another and be hanged then , doe , stab , why don't ye ? Cutt. At your command Mr. Puny ? I 'll be forc●d by no man ; put up Dogrel , wee 'll fight for no mans pleasure but our own . Dog. Agreed , I 'll not make another sport by murthering any man though he were a Ti●ker . Pun. Why now you speak like righteous Hom●ncles , ye ha' both great spirits , as big as Indian-whales , for wit and valour a couple of Phoenixes . Cut. 'T is my fault Puny ; I 'm the resolutest man if I be but a little heated . Pox take 't , I 'm a fool for 't . Dog. Give me thy hand . Cutt. I did not think thou hadst been so valiant , i'faith : I should have killed my self , if I had hurt thee in my fury . Dog. So should I by this hand . Pun. This is rare ! up and down like a game at chess ; Dog. Why a game at chess more then any other ? Pun. A game at chess ? why — pox thou' rt a kinde of Poet I confess , but for wit you shall pardon me — ther 's as much in Tom Coriats shooes . But prithee , why did you two Pythagorians fall out ? Dog. A trifle , onely a Mistris . Cutt. A pox take her , I woo'd her in an humor onely , I had rather marry a wench of ginger-bread , they 're both of a Complexion . Dog. And then her mouth 's as wide as a Crocodiles , her kisses devour a man. Cutt. Her eyes are like the eyes of a needle , and her nose pointed like that ; I wonder her face is no cleaner , for those two perpetually water it : As for her lower parts , blessed are they that live in ignorance . Pun. What an Heliogabalus make you of this wench ? would I could see this Barbara Pyramidum . Dog. Hang her , she looks like a gentlewoman upon the top of a ballad . Cutt. Shavers , who i the divels name would you guess to be my Mistris ? Pun. Some w●nch at a red lattice . Dog. Some beast that stincks worse then Thames-street . Pun. And looks like a shoulder of mutton stufft with parsly . Cutt. 'Faith guess who . Pun. 'T is impossible among so many whores . Cutt. 'Faith Tabitha , none but gentle Mistris Tabitha . Dog. We shall have him turn Brownist now , and read Comments upon the Revelations . Cutt. Thou hast hit it Dogrel : I 'le put my self into a rare garbe ; Buffe , thou must off , tru●y Buffe thou must . Pun. 'Slid , a good humour ; I could find in my heart to change religion too . Dog. Pox ! no body will change with me , I 'm sure . But canst thou put off swearing with Buffe ? canst thou abstain in the middle of long grace from crying a plague upon him , the me●ts cold ? canst thou repeat scripture enough to make a Puritan ? I 'me sure for understanding thou'lt be like enough to any of ' um . Cutt. Let me alone , I 'le deal with no oath above gods fatlikins , or by my truly : exclaim upon the sickness of drinking healths , and call the Players rogues , sing psalms , hear lectures ; and if I chance to preach my self , woe be to the act , the object , the use , and applica●ion . Pun. Thou art an everlasting stinker Colonel , 't is a most potent humour , ther 's mustard in 't , it bits i' the nose . Cutt. Dog●el , take heed of swearing before Tabitha . Dog. If I look not as grave as a Judge upon the bench , let me be hanged for 't . Pun. Come away Physitians ; 'slid I 'le be of some Religion ere●t be long too . Act. 2. Scaen. 3. Truman pater , Truman fillus . Tru. p. You hear me — Tru. f. Sir — Tru. p. Sir me no sirs : I say you shall marry Mistris Tabitha . Tru. f. I hope sir — Tru. p. I , when I bid you do any thing , then you are a hoping ; well , what do you hope sir ? Tru. f. That you 'ld be pleas'd — Tru. p. No , I will not be pleas'd till I see your manners mended : marry gap , you 'le be teaching your father . Tru. f. I am — Tru. p. Go to , you 're a foolish boy , and know not what 's good for your self : you are ? what are you , pray ? we shall ha' you crow over your father . Tru. f. I shall observe — Tru. p. You will not sure ? will you observe me ? 't is very well if my son come to observe me i' my old days , you will observe me ? will ye ? Tru. f. I mean sir — Tru. p. You shall mean what I please , if you be mine : I must be bound to your meaning ? Tru. f. It may be — Tru. p. You 'll teach me what may be , will you ? do not I know what may be ? 't is fine , 't is very fine : now i' your wisdom , now what may be ? Tru. f. That Captain Blade — Tru. p. That what ? what can he do ? I 'll see his nose cheese before you shall marry his neece . Captain Blade's a swaggering companion ; let 'um swagger , and see what he gets by his swaggering ; I would have swaggered with him for his ears when I was a young man. And though I ha' done swaggering — well — I shall meet with Captain Blade , I hold him a tester on 't — Tru. f. ( Would he were gone . ) I shall obey — Tru. p. Obey me no obeyings , but do what I command you . I 'll to the Widow , and talk abo●t her portion : stay ● I had almost forgot to tel you ; oh — Mistris Tabitha's a vertuous maid , a very religious wench ; I 'll go speak concerning her portion . Tru. f. It may be sir — Tru. p. You●ll never leave this trick , you 'll be at your may-bees ; take heed boy , this humour will undoe thee — she cannot have less then three thousand pounds : well — I 'll go see — and d' ee hear ? she goes plain , and is a good huswife ; which of your spruce mincing squincing dames can make bone-lace like her ? o t is a notable , apt , quick , witty girle — I 'll goe to her mother about the portion . Exit . Tru. f. About this time her letter promis'd me a meeting here : destiny it self will sooner break its word then she . Dear Mistris , there 's none here besides your vassal . She 's ready — Act. 2. Scaen. 4. Truman filius , Lucia veil'd . Ha! why this covering ? This is mistery darker then the veile That clouds thy glorious face ; unless t' encrease My desire first , and then my joy to see thee , Thou cast this subtler night before thy beauty . And now like one scorched with some raging feaver , Upon whose flames nor dew nor sleep hath faln , I could begin to quarrel with the darkness , And blame the slothful rising of the morn ; But with more gladness entertain't , then they , Whose icy dwellings the cold Bare ore-looks , When after half the yeers continued night , And the most ●edious night of all but death ; A sudden light shot from their horizon , Brings the long wisht-for day , which with such glory Leaps from the East , as doth thy mateless beauty . When thus the mist departs — Offers to pull away the veil . Why shrinkst thou back ? I prit hee let me see thee , Lucia . I 'd rather some good power would strike me blinde , Then lose the cause for which I love mine eyes : At least speak to me : well may I call it night , When silence too has joyn'd it self to darkness . And did I not swear I would not — Thy witty goodness can save others too From sinning : I had quite forgot my oath Yet sure an oath forc'd from a lovers tongue Is not recorded in heav'ns dreadful book , But scatter'd loosely by that breath that made it . However thy blest Letter makes me patient : Thou giv'st all vertues : I can love thee thus . And though thy skin were such , that it might seem A black veil cast by nature o'er thy body , Yet I would love thee , Lucia : every night , Which is the harvest-time of all our hopes , Will make thee as th' art now ; and dost thou think I shall not love thee most then ? We trifle here : I 'll follow thee , O heaven ; Prosper the wise invention which it hath taught thee . Exeunt ▪ Act. 2. Scaen. 5. Captain Blade , Servant . Bla. Is he carried to prison ? that damn'd Urinal-monger , that stinking Clyster-pipe-rogue ! that ignorant Sattin cap ! He has not so much physick as would cure the tooth-ach . A slave that poisons Gentlemen , to keep his hand in ure Must a slave come up stairs mount the bank for money , and not be dishonoured down ? He look●d as patiently then , as any Fidler need to do . Give me some small beer , and the godly book ; I must not go to hell ; there are too many Physitians there . I was never in a worse disposition to die , in my life : my guts begin to squeak already . Nothing vexes me now , but that I shall stand pictur'd in a Ballad , with Beware the physitian , or some such sentence , coming out of my mouth . I shall be sung in Smithfield : not a blinde Ale-house but the life and miserable death of captain Blade shall be pasted up in : there shall I be brought confessing my sins at the later end , and giving good counsel . ( You will be jumbling still . ) Ten to one but Dogrel makes an Epitaph ; there 's another mischief . Here , take the book again ; I 'll not trouble my brain now I 'm a dying . Serv. Here 's the widow , Sir , and her daughter , come to see you ; and they have brought M. Knockdown to comfort you . Bla. How ? everlasting Knockdown ? 'Slid , will they tro●ble a man when he 's a dying ? Sirrah , blockhead , let in Knockdown , and I 'll send thee to heaven before me . I ha' but an hour to live , my Physitian says , and that 's too little for him to preach in . Serv. Shall I let the widow come in ? Blade . That 's a she — Knockdown too . Well , let her come in ; I must bear all torments patiently now . But , rogue , take heed of Ioseph Knockdown : thou shalt not live with ears , if Ioseph Knockdown enter . A plague upon all Physitians . Act. 2. Scaen. 6. Capt. Blade , Widow , Tabytha . Wid. How do you ? how is 't , Sir ? Bla. Cut off i' the flower o' my age , widow . Wid. Not so , Sir , you are old , neighbour , God he knows . Bla. I' the very ●lower , i'faith . That damn'd quacksalver . Tab. He look'd like a rogue ; a man might know him for a rogue , by his very eyes . Take comfort , Sir ; ye know we must all die either sooner or later . Our life is compared to a flower ; and a flower is subject to uncertainty , as M. Knockdown observes . Bla. O the torture of such a tongue ! Would I were dead already . Wid. Alas , good man ! his tongue , I warrant ye , is hot : look how he raves , daughter ! I have heard , indeed , that many rave when they are poison'd . Think o' your sins , Sir. Bla. I prithee molest me not ; there 's none of 'um worth thinking of . I 'm hotter then a dozen of Fevers : give me a cup of Sack there : Shall I die thirsty ? Wid. By no means , M. Blade . Fellow , take heed what ye give him : he must ha' none ; it breeds inflammations . Bla. I 'll never repent without a cup of Sack. Do , do , chuse whether you 'll ha'me sav'd or no. Wid. For his souls sake then , I 'll drink to him in a cup of Sack Drinks . Bla To my good journey widow . Sirrah , fill me a brimmer . Here , Tabytha . Drinks . Act. 2. Scaen. 7. Blade , Widow , Tabytha , Aurelia , Cutter , Dogrel . Aur. Stand to 't now . Dog. I 'll warrant you I 'll stand like a knight o' the post : I 'll forswear with the devil . As for Cutter , he has don 't fourty times before a Judge already . Aur. My dearest father , though we cannot call The sentence of fate back that 's past upon you , Yet heav'n has mixt some mercy with its anger , And shewn us the curst plotters of your ruine . Bla. How now , varle●s ? ye see I 'm going to heaven , and ye must follow ; but the Captain must be sav'd before the Colonel . Who art thou ? a godly Weaver ? Cut. I am not he that I was of old : what hath passed , is gone and vanisheth ; but what is now , remaineth . Wid. No I 'll besworn is he not ; never was Christian creature so alter'd , as they say . Tab. He said a prayer last night so zealously , that all the house heard him , did they not ? Brother M. Cutter . Cut. Sister , I did pour out my self last night . Captain , y' are abus'd . Bla. A small abuse ; nothing but onely poiso●●d . Dog. Yes 'faith , we saw the Physitian , Mi●●ress Lucia and Truman consulting all together : the Physitian pluck'd a box out , shew'd it them ; they seem'd to approve : an oath of secresie we heard them take , but suspected nothing , by this hand . We honest men do seldom suspect others . Bla. Is this true , Colonel ? Cut. Should I say it is not true , I should not tell the truth if I should say so . Bla. You swear 't is true ? Cut. Before an Elder I shall swear . Bla. Aurelia , send for 'um immediately , as if I meant to see 'um contracted ; and bid the servants be ready to carry um away . I 'll see 'um clapt up close before I die . Aur. I go , Sir. Exit . Act. 2. Scaen. 8. Blade , Widow , Tabytha , Cutter , Dogrel , Lucia . Luc. Dearest Uncle , I come to beg one boon of you , the last Which you can grant me , or I need to wish . Bla. Speak , gentle Neece . Luc. That since the love 'twixt Truman and my self Hath been so fixt , and ( as our fortunes ) equal , You will be pleas'd to seal with your last breath The confirmation of our loves , our Contract : And when your soul shall meet in heav'n my fathers , As soon as he has bid you welcome thither , He 'll thank you for our marriage . Bla. Oh by all means : where 's gentle M. Truman ? He 's sorry for my death , good man , I warrant ye . Weep not for me , dear Neece , I know it greives you . Where 's loving Mr. Truman ? Luc. Without Sir , waiting on your will , as on the voice of his good fate . Bla. Pray call him in . Exit Luc. Sirrah , fetch two or three more of my knaves in . Dog. Oh the dissembling of these women ; they 're like a folded picture , that every diversity of light represents diversly . Bla. Hang all women beside you and your daughter , widow : I could almost like Mahomets religion , for turning all the sex out of Heaven . Act. 2. Scaen. 9. Blade , Cutter , Dogrel , Widow , Tabitha . Truman filius , Lucia veil'd . Tru. 'T is as we wisht , dear Lady ; O this blest hour ! Bla. Away with 'um immediately , let 'um be sent to prison straight . Tru What means this rudeness ? I understand not this incivility . Cutt. Ungratious children , ye have poysoned a most vertuous Souldier here . Tru. I poysoned ? what d' ye mean ? Bla. Away with 'um I say , they shall ●inde another place to answer for 't . Exeunt Servants , with Truman and Lucia . Wid. Hei ho ! what pitty ' t is . Cutt. Captain , prithee away with these two impertinences ; since you must dye , let 's have a parting cup for shame . Bla. But thou art turn'd Apostate . Cutt. I did but fain all this ; I 'm as very a Rogue as ever I was . Bla. Thou speakst righteously , we will not make a dry farwel on 't . Widow . I have some business with these two ; shall I desire privacy a little while ? Wid. Fare ye well . Mr. Cutter , you can speak comfortably to him : I 'll see you again anon . Oh the wickedness of these worldlings ! Come Tabitha . Exeunt Widow and Tabitha . Bla. The Doctor says , I shall dye without pain ; therefore my sparks of Asia , let 's be merry for a while . Boy , fetch some wine and an hour-glass . Cutt. An hour-glass ! what emblem shall we have ? bring a sithe too ; and this same lean , greedy , hungry Poet , shall act Time here . Enter boy with wine , and an hour glass . Bla. Well said my little Pawn . So , thus I 'll husband my time . According to my Emperick's computation I am to live an hour ; half which I do allot to drink with you , a quarter to settle some business ; and the rest to good medit●tions and repentance . How like ye this my gallants ? Cutt. Most Logically divided ; never Scholer divided mess better . The boy fils wine . Bla. How it sparkles ! Never be drunk again ? My Homer junior , have at thee ; this will string up thy Muse : rejoyce young frog of Hellic●n . Drinks . Dog. No , rather let me weep , drop briny tears , Till I like Niobe — Cutt. There 's a piece of her sticks in his throat still , drink it down Dogrel . Bla. Do , for when I am once gone , ye must e'en like Mahumetans , count wine a thing forbidden . Cutt. Let 's drink , let 's drink , whilst life we have : You 'll finde but cold drinking , cold drinking in the grave . Dog. A catch i'faith . Boy go down , And fill's the tother quart ; That we may drink the Captains health , Before that we do part . Cutt. Why dost thou frown , thou arrant Clown &c. Bla. Ha hei boy's ! another catch i'faith . And all our men we●e very very merry . And all our men were drinking , Cutt. One man o' mine , Dog. Two men o' mine , Bla. Three men o' mine , Cutt. And a man o' mine , Om. As we went by the way , were Drunk Drunk , Damnable Drunk ; And all our men were very very merry &c. Bla. Hei brave boys ! now , Cutter , thou art a pretious Puritan . Cutt. And thou a puissant Captain . Some wou'd ha' pin'd , and kept a quarter , and howl'd at their death , and ha' been more froward and troublesome then a Citizens wife when she takes Physick . This is true valour . Dog. Sure he has dy'd before , he 's so expert at it . Act 2. Scaen. 10. To these , old Truman . Bla. What says old Priam to Achilles great ? Tru. 'T is well , I 'm glad to see you in you Priams ; but for all your Priams , and your Killisses , what ha' you done with my Son ? Bla. Thrice was thy Hector drawn about the walls . Cutt. Xanthus and Simois , with his purple gore . Dog. Alas , and welladay ! we are stain'd all o're . Om. Ha , ha , ha . Tru. 'T is very well , excellent well , all 's well that ends well ; I say — I shall finde Law I hope . My Son Dick in prison , and old Dick laughed at here by Raggamuffins : 'T is very excellent well ; I thank you gentlemen I thank you heartily . Bla. 'T is not so much worth i'faith Sir ; what do you mean Sir ? pray spare your courtesie , nay , I pray be covered Sir. Tru. It may be so , 't is very likely Sir , an there be Law in Westminster — Cutt. — And what dost thou mean , old man ? Dog. — And what dost thou mean , old man ? Cutt. — If thou mean'st to live long , plump , lusty , and strong ; Dog. — Then take of the cup and the Can. Om. Ha , ha , ha . Tru. Well , I 'm made a laughing stock , it seems . Bla. And good Sir — Tru Yes , I am made the laughing stock ; I shall take some other course , I hold you a groat . Rest ye merry Gentlemen , I pray be merry , very very merry . Dog. Nay , you shall stay and drink first . Tru. Shall I , Iacksauce ? Strikes off his hat . Pray Sir , be you covered too . Bla. Come old Iethro , here 's a cup of wine will stir thy brains again , they 're mouldy now . Tru. I , you 'd poyson me , wou'd you ? 't is very well if a man may be suffered to poyson whom he pleases . Breakes the glass . Bla. No , your good Son has got the art of poysoning . Tru. My Son ? Thou liest . My Son ? Bla. If ye be raging Lyon-mad , d' ye see that door ? Be gone to your Son , and take some juice of Opium : Thou wants sleep , Iethro . Trum●n offers to go out , and turns back again . Tru. There 's Law , Captain . Bla There is so ; wou'd you 'd go fetch it . Tru. Nay there 's none it seems . Bla. True , there shall be no Law , so you 'll be gone Tru. There shall be no Law , say you ? I desire no more , 't is very exceeding dainty . There shall be no Law ; I desire no more , 't is a kinde of petty Treason : You 'll remember , Sir , that there shall be no Law : That 's enough , I pray remember Sir : and so farewell . There shall be no Law. Exit . Bla. This worm-eaten old fellow has spoil'd our sport . And what says my hour-glass now ? Time was i'faith . Cutt. How do you feel your self ? Bla. As hot as Hell. Come wee 'l take our last farewel within ; and farwel here all drinking . God send me a good journey , I say . Dog. Then briny tears come trickling down apace , For loss of him — Cutt. And what ? Dog. Nay , ye put me out . Exeunt . Finis Actus Secundi . Act. 3. Scaen. 1. Dogrel , Aurelia . Dog. Not poysoned you say ? Au. No , hes as well as we . Dog. It may be he has more lives then one , or used himself to poyson , as we now , that are Scholars , and Poets read , of one Mithidrates . Au. He was never sick . Dog. Yes , very hot . Au. I , as a painted fire , his fancy made him so ; I smell a plot in 't . Lucia , you say , urged him then for Truman . 'T was a meer plot , I doubt , to put him in fear of death . Dog. I shall be taken for a kind of Rogue then , for bearing false witness Au. You shall not be mistaken , Sir , at all . Dog. Pillory'd , and whipt , with my godly brother Cutter . Au. Abus'd by the Prentices as you walk in the streets , and have rotten apples slung at you . Dog. Have a hundred blustring oaths o' mine no more beleeved , then when I swear to my Creditors , I 'll pay all . Au Be abandon'd by all men above a Tapster ; and not dare to looke a gentleman i' the face ; unless perhaps you sneak into a Play-house , at the fifth Act. Dog. If ever I have to do with women again , but i' the way of all flesh , may I dye an Eunuch . I 'll never lye or swear hereafter , but for my self . Were not you the vertuous gentlewoman , with the brown paper-face , that perswaded me to it ? Au. The very same , Sir ; and I ha' just such another exploit here to imploy thee in : therefore be secret , close as a cokle , my good Rymer . Dog. To imploy me in ! Au. Nay , you must do 't i'faith ; I ha' sworn first , Dogrel . Dog. By this good light , I will do nothing at thy intreaty : not if thou shouldst intreat me to lye with thee . Must Poet Dogrel ? Au. I , must , if he intend e're to drink Sack again ; or to make more use of his little-pocket , then to carry Tavern-bills in 't ; must do 't , unless he intend to die without a shirt , and be buried without a winding-sheet . Dog I like thy wit yet wench , what is 't ? Au I would marry Puny ; he 's rich you know , and a bravery , and a wit. D●g . He says himself he is so ; but few are of his faith . Au. He dances too , and courteth the Ladies . Dog. Yes in more postures then a dozen of Bowlers . Au. But he 's rich , Dogrel , and will be wise enough ; when I have got'um knighted , then I shall be a Lady , Dogrel ; have a dozen of French-Taylors , Doct●rs , Jewellers , Perfumers , Tyre-women , to sit in consultation every morning , how I shall be drest up to play at Gleek , or dance , or see a Comedy , or go to the Exchange i' the afternoon ; send every day my Gentleman , to know how such a Lady slept , and dream'd ; or whether her dog be yet in perfect health : Then have the young smelling braveries ; all adore me , and cut their arms , if I be pleased to be angry : Then keep my close and open Coaches , my yellow sattin Pages , Monkies , and women , or ( as they call 'um ) creatures . Dog. Be then a politick , Lady ; keep none but ugly ones , you 'll ne'er be handsome else . But suppose all this , what 's this to Dogrel ? Au. Dogrel shall be maintain'd by me , he shall ha' fine new Serge ; and every day more wine then 's drunk at a Coronation . Dog. This qualifies . And when the good Knight's dicing , or at bowls , or gathering notes in private out o' Romances ; might not Dogrel have a bit ? Au. Yes , like enough your Poetry might tempt some of my under-women to 't . But are you prepar'd to cheat , in your own behalf , and mine ? Dog. I , but how must this be done ? Au. Why thus briefly . First read this Letter . Dog. ( reads ) Dearest Truman , We haue long desired to be contracted together , that nothing might be wanting to our Loves , but Ceremony : To night about nine a clock , I shall finde opportunity to meet you at the garden door , and let you in ; silence and the help of veiles , will save the violating of your oath . Farewel . Yours , Luc. Blade . I'faith , was this her writing ? Au. No ▪ but the hand 's ●s like hers as the left is to the right . This you shall shew to Puny ; and tell him that you found or stole it from Truman : I need not I suppose instruct you , to polish over a lye ; he knows their love , and cannot suspect any thing ; perswade him to make use of the occasion , and come himself . Dog. And you●ll meet him vail'd . Au. Hast thou found it out ? thou hast shrew●d reaches Dogrel . Dog. I 'll do 't . Thou shalt be blest . I 'll do 't i'faith . Au. About it then ; I 'll leave you : and fail not , Dogrel ; remember wine and serge . But first , I have another way t' undoe thee , Lucia : And that I●ll try too . Exit . Dog. Go thy ways girl for one , and that 's for Puny I hope ; I see thou'lt ne'er turn Semstress , nor teach girls ; thou'dst be a rare wife for me , I should beget on thee Donnes , and Iohnsons : but thou art too witty . We men that are witty know how to rule our selves , can cheat with a safe conscience ; 't is charity to help thee , Aurelia , and I will do 't , and merit . Exit . Act. 3. Scaen. 2. Truman filius , Solus . Tru. Our minds are like the Sea , and every Passion Like some fierce Tempest stricken from the North , Disturbs the Peaceful calmness of our thoughts : Custom of anger drives us from our selves , The Adrian Gulf a milder fury hurries ; Those Waves touch Heaven , but these arise to Hell. Sometimes the winged whirle-wind of blind Avarice Shoots it self forth , and sweeps up all before it . Now we with greedy hope , knock at the Sphears , Anon the deadly hand of cold dispair Throws us beneath the grave : and midst these dangers The flame of Love appears in stead of lightning ; And with sad glory frights the night it self . Oh! 't is a subtil fire ! and kills , but wounds not . Good God! What more then man can safely pass The Bil●ows , Rocks , and Monsters of this Ocean , Unless some pow'r Divine , become his Pilot ? For then the windes would scatter , the waves shrink , And th'outworn storm suffer it self a shipwrack . Act 3. Scaen. 3. Aurelia , Taylor , Truman filius . Au. Thanks good Taylor ; now I 'll onely beg that I may buy your secrecy : Fare thee well , Friend . at the door . Tru. Ha! I did but speak just now of Heav'nly pow'rs , And my good Angel enters ! welcome Lucia ; I can scarce say so here , yet welcome heartily : You see how ill our honest Plot succeeds ; I see we must out-weary fortunes anger , And I have arm'd my self for 't — ha ! She gives him a note , and imbraces him . He reads . I have with much ado gotten to you , and can stay with you to night . ( Ha! ) Why should we defer our joys longer , since we are married in heart ? The opportunity , and impatience of such delays , forc'd me to desire that which else my modesty would not suffer me — ( Modesty ? ) — Your desires — to your bed — long wisht-for — ( why this is strange ) hum-hum-hum — Yours , Lucia . No , no , thou art not Lucia . If thou dost ( As thou saist ) love me , do not use that name . She embraces , and goes to kiss him Some devil has chang'd thee — This i● worse stil — with much ado — to night — joys longer — opportunity — Read● : then walks about the room ; goes to the Candle , and burns the Letter May all remembrance of thee perish with thee , Unhappie paper , made of guilty linen . The menstruous reliqu●s of some lustful woman : Thy very ashes here will not be innocent , But flie about , and hurt some chaste mens eyes , As they do mine . Weeps . Oh thou that once wert Lucia ! thy soul Was softer then , and purer then swans feathers , Then thine own skin : Two whitest things , that paper , And thine own self , thou didst at once defile . But now th' art blacker then the skin that covers thee : And that same gloomy shade not so much hides Thy Bodies colour , as it shews thy Mindes . She kneels . Kneel not to me , fond woman , but to heav'n ; And prithee weep : tears will wash cleaner Ethiops — Wouldst thou have had me been mine own adult'rer ? Before my Marriage too ? Wouldst thou ha' giv'n me An earnest of the horns I was to wear ? Is Marriage onely a Parenthesis Betwixt a maid and wife ? Will they remain Entire without it ? Go , pray go back , And leave me too , since thou hast left thy self : When peace is made with heav'n , 't is made with me . Exit Aurelia . What are these women made of ? Sure we men Are of some better mold . Their vows and oaths Are like the poisonous Spiders subtil net , As dangerous to entrap , and broke as soon . Their love , their faith , their selves enslav'd to passion . Nothing 's at their command , except their tears , And we frail men , whom such heat-drops entice . Hereafter I will set my self at liberty , And live more free then is the air I breathe in : And when I sigh , henceforth , it shall not be For love of one , but pity of all the Sex. Exit . Act. 3. Scaen. 4. Dogrel , Puny . Pun. But how shall I represent this Anthropophagus ? Dog. Onely speak softly , lest she chance to know your voice . Pun. I warrant you I 'll whisper like wet wood in a Justices chimney at Christmas . Dog. But of all things , take heed of too much wit ; that 's always dangerous , but especially now . Truman , you know , is an honest harmless fellow , and is contented to speak sense . Pun. I , hang him ; there 's clotted cream in his head in stead of brains ; and no more o' that then will compleatly serve to fill the eye of a needle . But I shall ne'er abstain from these fine things , hyperboles and similitudes : my nature stands a tiptoe : Truman has got the cramp ; his genius is like some gouty Alderman's that sits in a chair . An' I were in Phalaris's Bull , I think I should be witty . Dog. Nay , I know 't ; a man may as well keep a prentice from Moor-fields on a holiday , as you from your Muses , and Canundrums ; they 're meat and drink to you . Pun. No , my good bag-pipe , they 're meat and drink to you , that feed by ' um . Dog. I see you 're ashamed of the Muses , and I hope they 're even with you . But so much for this : you●ll finde wine , I hope , when I have found you the wen●h . Pun. Though thou wouldst drink cups bigger then Pa●ls-steeple , or the great bell at Westminster , thou shouldst have ' um . How long dost thou think has this night worn her mourning-gown , and lookt like a funeral ? Dog. Indeed , she has many torches . Why sure , 't is just about the Critical time which she appointed . You know your business : First break a piece of Gold ; profess before Heav'n and Angels , you take her for your wife ; then give her half of it : and after that , somewhat as you understand me . Pun. Will she be malleable , d' ye think ? Shall I stamp Puny on her ? Dog. There 's a Metaphor indeed ! It seems 't is the fashion ; you take your wife for Gold. Hark! the door opens , use your fortune well . Exit . Pun. Now , if my Alcocadin be right , I 'm sure , I am made . She opens the door , and lets him in . Act. 3. Scaen. 5. Captain Blade , Servant . Bla. Pox upon 'um , they put me into a horrible fear ; but I am glad I am so happily cheated , for all that . Well , I must devise some horrible lye , to justifie my fears ; some trick must be thought upon to gull Truman . How now ? What news from Tripoly . Serv. Sad news , my Lord ; here 's an Army at the door , to speak with you . Bla. Who are they ? Creditors ? a Merchant , a Mercer , a Scrivener , a Taylor , a Butcher , Six Cookes , a dozen of Vintners , and the rest ? Ha ? Tell 'um I am sick , taking Physick , or else abroad ; hang 'um Rogues , come like quotidian Agues on a man. Serv. No , Sir , 't is old Mr. Truman , the Widow , and her daughter , and Mr. Dogrel , and I know not who ; there 's a stock of ' um . Bla. They are those I wisht for , let 'um in . Exit Serv. Now , Signior Blade , If ever thou wouldst see the golden age of yore , this is the time . Act. 3. Scaen. 6. Blade , Truman Pater , Widow , Dogrel . Tru. O Sir , my Son has poyson'd you , I see ; there 's no Law yet , is there ? Bla. Mr. Trum●n — Tru. True me no more then I true you . Come , Captain Blade , I know what you are , and so shall others too . Bla. You 'll hear me , Sir , I hope — Tru. And so shall you hear me , Sir ; I can be heard , I would you should know , in as good a place as this is ; and before as good as you are , Captain Blade . Bla. First leave your raging , Sir : for though you should roar like Tamerlin at the Bull , 't would do no good with me . Tru. I Tamerlin ? I scorn him , as m●ch as you do , for your ears . I 'll have an action of slander against you , Captain ; you shall not miscal me at your pleasure : remember you call'd me Iethro once before . Wid. O the Father ! little did I think , I wuss , to see you ever with these eyes again . Bla. Pray , Sir , hear me ; The wrong I did you , when you were last here , came from distraction onely , and not my will ; and therefore deserves pardon . The business , if you please , I 'll relate truly to you ; and by what special providence I escap'd the danger . they whisper . Tru. Well , Sir , I 'm not angry ; but I 'll not be call'd Tamerlin by any man. Bla. Upon my faith , Sir , it was an Antidote ; I vomited up more then any whale could have done ; things of more colours then twenty Rhetoricians were ever able to invent . Tru. I shall teach my son — Bla. No good Sir , I forgive him with all my heart : but for my Neece — You remember , Sir , the Will my brother left ; you were witness to it . For this her disobedience , the means are faln to me . Now if you please to marry M. Richard to my daughter , Lucia's portion shall all be hers . Tru. Thank you good Captain Blade ; I thank you for your love heartily : pray send for 'um ; he shall do 't presently . I thank you heartily for your love , good Captain : he shall do 't , he shall do 't . Calls his servant , and sends for ' um . ( What good luck was this , that I spoke not to the widow for her daughter ! ) How do you , widow ? you 're melancholy methinks ; you 're melancholy i'faith , that you are . Wid. Well , I praise God , Sir , in better health then I deserve , vile wretch . I 'm glad to see our neighbour so recovered . Tru. I , good man , he has had a dangerous time of it , that he has , a very dangerous time : his neece is a naughty wench , a scurvie girl , to repay him thus for all his care and trouble : he has been a father to her , Widow , that he has ; to my knowledge he has : Her father was an honest man , I 'm sure on 't . Wid. Was he ? I , as ever trod upon Gods ground , peace be with him ; I , and as loving a neighbour too — Tru. We have drunk our half pintes of Muscadel together many a morning , that we have . Wid. My husband too was all in all with him . Hei-ho ! I shall never forget how merry we were when we went with him to Mortlake in the Easter-holy-days : and we carried a shoulder of Mutton with us , and a fat Pig , and he carried his bottle of wine down with him : I warrant you he he lov'd a cup of wine as well as his brother ; in a fair sort , I mean. Tru. Ah widow ! those days are gone : we shall never see those days again . I was a merry grig too then , and would ha'danc'd and cut capers : ha — who but I ? I was as merry as the maids . Wid. My daughter Tabytha was just four yeer old then , come Lamas-tide . Dog. Captain , I thought thou hadst been at Ere●us by this time : but 't is no matter ; 't is but an Epitaph lost : hang 't , 't was made ex tempore and so let it pass . Bla. Hadst thou made one i'faith ? Dog. Yes , by thi , light . Bla. I 'm glad I did not die then . O here they come . She 's a good handsome wench ; 't is pity to cozen her . But who can help it ? Every one for himself , and God for us all . Act. 3. Scaen. 7. Blade , Widow , Truman pater , Dogrel , Truman filius , Lucia . Bla. Welcome , kinde Neece ; you see I live still : there were Antidotes as well as Poisons . Wid. He has been a loving Uncle to you , Mistress Lucia : he might have deserv'd better at your hands : you might had Master Truman , I warrant you , had you but held up your finger to him : he would not ha' seen you perish , Mistris Lu●ia ; I may say I know him so far . Speak , Mistris Lucia , speak for your self , good chuck ; your Uncle will forgive you : we 'll all speak for you : He shall forgive you , that he shall : he knows we have all our faults . Dog. I understand the language of her silence ; it 's strong and good . You bound your son , Sir , to an oath never to see nor hear her without your commission : 't is that troubles her conscience ; she has a tender one . Tru p. I bound ' um ? Well , I absolve 'um then ; what 's that to you , Sir ? I 'll binde 'um again , if 't be my pleasure so : if not , a fig for you ; that 's all I care . I love to speak my minde ; you must pardon me , I ha' spoke to as good as you i● my days . Dog. D' ye speak thus always ? I 'll ha' you in a Play if you do . Tru. p. I 'm glad you are so religious , Sir ; did I bind you too to silence ? Go too , Sir ; I told you what your may bees would bring you to , you 'll always be wiser then your father : Nay , you may speak , and your Minion too , if she pleases . Lucia , pulls off her vail . Luc. Does any man here accuse me of any thing ? Bla. We , and your conscience do . Luc. My Conscience ? 't is as pure as Sythian Christal , From any spot ; I can see through 't at pleasure . Whatever crime you mean , ( for yet I know not ) Would it were written in my face . Bla. thou 'dst be blacker then a Moor if ' t were . Did not you consent with that damn'd Physitian to give me poyson ? Luc. There was none given you , I call God to witness : If such a thought had slipt into my dream , The horror would have wak'd me , and I fear'd Ever to sleep again . No ; what we did , Sir , Was but to fright you with a painted danger ; That the just terror of your own destruction Might call to your remembrance my dead father : For sure , Sir , you forgot him when you thought To match his onely child with one of these Fellowes that live extempore ; whose fortunes Are patch'd up like their wit by several pat●ons . Should I have married thus , ( but I would sooner Endure the shameful end which they deserve ) Your conscious Ghost would start to meet my fathers , And look more pale then death it self hath made it . Dog. Let her alone , she 'll call names and fling stones about anon . Wid Alas poor soul ! you may see she 's not her own woman . Tru. p. What a poor excuse she made ! a very idle simple excuse ; have you never a better for us ? Tru f. No , she says true . Tru p. You wo'nt bite off my nose ? will ye , Sir ? pray do not bite off my nose , I pray , Sir , do not ? Act. 3. Scaen. 8. Blade , Widow , Truman pater , Dogrel . Truman filius , Lucia , Puny . Pun. What a bevy o' men's here ! ha ! My little Load-stone , art thou here , my little Diamond ? I 'll speak to your Uncle now ; we 'll have a Parson cry I Nicholas presently . Luc. You 'r rude , Sir : what do you mean ? Pun. I , so you said i' the garden , when I began to gather , you know what fruit : Come put on your vail , you 'll blush else ; and look like the picture of a red-rose i' the hangings . Captain , Salve , 't is done . Bla. Done ! What ? Pun. I have her , i'faith . Bla. God give you joy , Sir. Pun. Nay , she 's my own . Bla I am very glad of 't . Pun. I scal'd the walls , entered the Town , and left a garison there , I hope . Bla. I congratulate your Victory , Mr. Puny . Pur. You shall goe to my wedding , with me and thi● fair Chorus . I 'm as nimble as a Lybian Rabbit : Come , you must go , though you be as lame as a criple , that b●●s at Westminster , or a Crow in a gutter without her right leg . What d' ye wonder at ? I tell you , she 's my Penelope now . Bla. May I be so bold , Sir , as to ask , who 't is you mean ? Pun. 'Slid , canst thou not see my meaning ? are your brains in a litter ? I 'm contracted to your Neece , and have got upon her — Nay , never blush , we 're as good as married , my dear Agat . Bla. Have you then lien with her ? Truman fil . Ha! No figures nor similitudes , good Mr. Puny ; be as open and naked with me , as you were with her . Pun. As plain as a Scholars mourning-cloak . I ha' don 't i'faith , but d' ye see ? We broke this gold between us first , and will be married to day . Who 's that ? Truman , ha , ha ; he looks like the Globe of the World , now : look how he scratcheth his poul . Bla. God give you joy , Sir : but she has not a farthing portion . Pun. How , Captain ? Bla. Not so much as will buy ribbands : all s mine own : a lawful prize , i'faith . Tru. fil . Oh monster of her sex ! Luc. Wilt thou , vile man — I cannot speak to him — Witness all these — Weeps . Bla. So 't is all forfeited to me . Will you try how your sons affection stands towards Aurelia ? Tru. p ▪ Come , Dick , the Captain has forgiven you : never think of Lucia ; she 's not worth your thinking on ; a scurvie girl : ne'er think o' her ; thou shalt marry fair Aurelia : there 's a wench , a wench worth gold i'faith . Tru. f. I can't marry . Tru. p. What can't you do , Sir ? Tru. f. I can't marry . Tru p. Do you know who 't is you speak to , Sir ? you do'n't sure : Who am I , pray ? you can●t , when I bid you . Surely you know not who 't is you speak to : you shall do 't , or I 'll know why you shall not . Tru. f. I won't marry . Tru. p. Get you out o' my sight : come within my doors no more ; not within my doors , Sir. Bla. Take heed , M Truman , what you do . Tru. f. I wo'n't marry . Luc. Pray hear me all — Bla. Come , M. Truman , let 's talk of these things within : come , Gentlemen . Wid. Hei-ho ! I 'll ne'er trust a wart o' the right cheek and a twinkling eye again whilst I breathe , for Mistress Lucia's sake . A man would , think , that sees her ▪ that butter would not ha' melted in her mouth . Take heed , Tabytha ; the still Sow eats up all the draff , I see . Tru. p. I 'll never acknowledge him for my son again : I tell you , Captain , he 's always thus ; he 's always with his may-be's and his wo'nots : I can't abide these wo'nots , not abide ' um . Pun. I ll follow him about the portion ; he sha' not think to make an Asdrubal of me . Dog. Now my plot works . Exeunt omnes praeter Tru. fil . & Lucia . Act. 3. Scaen. 9. Truman fil . Lucia weeping . Tru. How precious were those tears , if they were true ones ! How much more worth then all the Oceans Jewels ! But they are onely false and empty bubbles ; Fair to the sight , but hollow as her heart : There 's nothing , nothing in 'um : he that weighs 'um , Shall finde 'um lighter then a mad mans dreams , Or womens resolutions . Luc. I never did that fellow any wrong . Why should he pay so dearly for the loss Of my poor honour , as to sell his soul for 't ? Tru. O she confesses , now , sh' has lost her honour . Luc. They triumph in the ruine of us women , And wooe our beauties onely , or our dowries ; Which when they miss of , they resolve to take Revenge of their unworthiness on us ; Stealing away all that makes rich our dowry , And beauty fair , our Name . But 't is no matter , Since heaven and Truman know my chastity . Ha! he 's here still ! How do you , Sir ? Tru. Well , well . Luc. You look ill . Tru. No , no , no. Luc. Indeed you do : your are not well , Im sure . Tru. I am . Will you be gone ? Luc. How , Sir ! You do not know me , sure . Tru. I would I never had . Luc. What do you mean ? Tru. To see thy face no more . Luc. You said you could not live without the sight on 't . Tru. It was a good one then . Luc. Has one day spoil'd it ? Tru. O yes , more then an hundred yeers of time , Made as much more by a continual sorrow , Could e'er ha' done . Luc. I do not think my glass will say so . Tru. That 's A false as you , perhaps ; but 't is not half So brittle . Dares your husband trust me alone With you so long ? Luc ▪ My husband ? Tru I cry you mercy ; The man you sin withal . You scorn to use Pretences . Luc. Yes , I do , Sir : For she that scorns th' offence , needs no excuse Have you so little confidence in that Which you have seem'd to praise so oft , my Vertues ? Or did you flatter onely ? Sure you did not : For I remember I have heard you swear You spoke your thoughts . Are Oathes but complements ? 'T is done unkindly , very unkindly , Truman ; And were 't not your self , I should be angry . Had a bright Angel come to me , and said That you were false , I should have sworn ●t had ly'd , And thought that rather false then you . Nothing Could ever move th' opinion of thy constancy But thine own self ; and thee I must believe . Tru And I 'll believe my self in what I saw . I know thou canst speak prettily ; but thy words Are not what Nature meant 'um , thy mindes picture . The Bee has left his honey in thy tongue , But in thy heart his sting . Luc. O do not say so : My heart is honest still , unless thou spoildst it When it receiv'd thee in . 'T had but three corners . And thou hadst two , at least . Would thou couldst see How little room I 've left my self there in it . Tru. Yes ; for 't is crouded up with many guests ; So many guests , that they excluded me : And now I freeze without ; but never more , Never will enter : 't was a Palace once , But now t is turn'd a Dungeon . Luc Will you leave me ? I will not call you fickle nor unconstant ; But sure you are too blame : you will not find A woman that will love you half so well . Tru. I do not mean to try . Luc. Yes , prithee do . But when y'have talk'd , and lov'd and vow'd , and sworn A little while , take heed of using her As you do me . No , may your love to her Be such as mine to you ; it can't be better , What e'er you think ; I 'm sure it cannot , Truman . May she be worthier of your bed then I , And bring forth many little selves to you : And when the happie course of divers yeers Makes you seem old to all besides your wife , May you in the fair glass of your blest issue , See your own youth again . But I would have 'um True in their loves , and kill no innocent maids . For me it is no matter : when I 'm dead , My busie soul shall slutter still about you ; 'T will not be else in heaven : it shall watch Over your sleeps , and drive away all dreams That flie not with a soft and downy wing . If any dangers threaten , it shall becken , And call your spirit away till they be past ; And be more diligent then your Guardian-Angel . Onely sometimes , when your best leasure serves , ( For I 'd not trouble you more dead then living ) Bestow ●ne thought on Lucia , and then sigh , And ( if you will ) drop down a tear or two . But that 's a task Ill not enjoyn you to : And if you do 't , spend not too many on me ; One will suffice : then onely say , That maid Deserv'd more of me . And again t' your business . For my wrongd vertue and forsaken truth , I ask no more . So , dear False-man , farewel . Exit . Tru. Farewel ? That word has charms and poisons in●t ; It makes my frighted soul start back and tremble . 'T is but an aery word . D' ye hear me , Lucia ? Luc. ( within ) Who calls ? Tru. Farewel , Lucia , farewel ; that 's all : farewel Repent , and meet me in heav'n — Why did rash Nature quarrel with her self , In making one so excellently bad ? She is more fair then May ●s new painted blossoms , But falser then the smiles of faithless April : And this I know , and yet me thinks I love her . O she has kill'd my Reason : I have lost That and my self for ever . Exit . Finis Actus tertii . Act. 4. Scaen. 1. Lucia sola . Every thing now has left me ; tears themselves , The riches of my very grief , forsake me : Sorrow , me thinks , shews nakedly without ' ●m . My sighs are spent too ; and my wearied lungs Deny me fresh supplies : and I appear Like some dull melancholy ●pril-even , When after many a showre the heav'ns still lowre , As if they threatned more ; and the s●ed Sun Leaves nothing but a doubtful blush behinde him . And I could wish my eternal night were coming , Did I but know who 't is that makes me wish it : Else , when my soul is ready for her slight , And knows not who it is she must forgive , A thousand light suspicions will call Her charity several ways ; and I may chance To doubt thee , T●uman . But thou art abus'd : I know not why ; but sure thou couldst not do it . I fear thee , cousin When we were both girls , Thou wouldst accuse me falsely to my Mistress , And laugh to see my tears . I fear thee , cousin ; But I 'll not judge too rashly : for I would not Have any innocent wrong'd as I have been . But I●m resolv'd to try her . She 's now seeking ( Hoping that all my fortunes now are hers ) For a new maid t' attend her . That maid I 'll be . Cloathes I have got already ; and my face Grief has disguis'd : that and my voice some art Will quickly alter . I have left a Note Upon my chamber-window , which will keep 'um From all suspicion of my staying here . Act. 4. Scaen. 2. Cutter , Dogrel , Puny , Lucia . Cut. Hei ! the Sisters are ravisht , and we have holy kisses enough . I shall be as great among 'um as — Who 's there ? What , your Spouse , Pury ? Dog. She looks like Niobe on the mountains top . Cut. That Niobe , Dogrel , you have us'd worse then Phoebus did . Not a dog looks melancholy , but he 's compar'd to Niobe . He beat a villanous Tapster t'other day , to make him look like Niobe . Pun. Why 'faith that 's pretty odde , like one o' mine . Luc. O , Sir , had you the vertuous impudence to slander a poor maid thus ? Pun. Poor enough now indeed . I will not marry thee : thy portion was a condition of the Contract . I 'll sooner marry a woman that sells Orenges with a face like Belinsgate . Luc. I scorn thee — I contracted to thee ? Pun. Wert not ? Answer . Luc. No , by heaven . Pun. Bear witness , Gentlemen ; these words are Ca●duus benedictus to me . Cut. And what will you do now , fair Gammer Lucia , you that contemn'd the Colonel ? Will you knit for your living ? Dog. Or else weed gardens for six pence a day and bread . Luc. This is unheard-of rudeness . Pun. Nay let me ha' mine too ; I ha' got a pat one for her . Or else turn Apple-woman , live in a stall , and sell pippins for eight a peny . Dog. Or hither in triumph 'twixt two panniers ride , And sell the bouls of wheat and butter in Cheapside . The last is a little too long : but I imitate Spencer . Cut. What think ye , Gentlemen ? she 'll make a pretty Landress . Pun. A Landress ? hang her , she looks like a foul handkercher . Luc. Pray let me go ; I ha' business requires me . Cut. What ? you 're to meet some Gentlemen ? How is 't ? twelve pence a time , I warrant , in these cloathes . Dog. Where do you set up ? Nay , we are true strikers . What , is 't in Covent-garden ? Cut. Or do you renew the decay'd credit of Turnbal-street ? Pun. Or honour the Mill-bank at Westminster . Dog. Or flee to Wapping , and engross the Sailors . Cut. Or Moor-fields , and sell cakes . Luc. Are all barbarous here ? Dog. Nay tell 's ; we shall be customers . Pun. Enough , enough ; give her a clap o' the breech , and let her go . Cut. Well , fare thee well , girl ; we shall finde you at the Play house i' the six-peny-room sometimes . Dog. And d' ye hear , Lucia , Keep your self wholesome : your tub's a terrible thing . Luc. Unworthy villains — But I 'm born to wrongs , And must endure ' um . Exit . Omn. Ha , ha , ha . Cut. A pretty Scene i'faith . Now for the Captain ; he 'll entertain us like forraign Princes : we 'll drink this half-yeer with him before we eat or sleep . Pun. I 'll drink like Gog-Magog himself , or the Spanish Tinker on a holy-day . Dog. There will I whet my Lyrick Muse With Falern wine as I do use . Captain Blade cannot refuse To entertain us ; he cannot chuse , When we bring him such good news , As that his neece is gone to the stews . Cut. Leave your verses , Dogrel . I hate your verses , Dogrel , till I be drunk . 'T is a glorious Captain . Dog. As free as Free-town in Germany ▪ Here comes Ieronymo . Act. 4. Scaen. 3. Cutter , Puny , Dogrel , Blade . Bla. The story says my neece is run away . The story is not bad . Now will I get the widow , turn off my old rascally companions , and live like an Emperour . Cut. He says he will live like an Emperour ; ha , ha , ha , brave Captain . Pun Invincible Captain Priam. Omn. Hei brave Captain ! Bla What do you mean , Gentlemen ? Are ye broke loose from Bedlam ? Ha' you no other place to play your tricks in , but at my door ? If you come here as Mummers , much may be done ; haply you may have twelve-pence : or else depart ; depart , if you be wise . Omn. Why how now , Captain ! Bla. If you be not gone immediately , I 'll ha' my men switch you further off — Here are saucy knaves indeed with all my heart — Offers to go out . Cut. By this light the Captain 's drunk without us . Pun. Prethee , Captain , thou art as humorous as a bell-rope . Dost thou know me , man ? I 'm M. Puny . Blade . Y' are a fool , an addle egge : there 's nothing else but cobwebs i' your head : The height of all thy knowledge is to find out the quarter day against thy rents come in , and thou couldst not finde out that , if 't were not marke'd i' the Almanack with red letters . Yet you forsooth , because you see some Gentlemen and Poets of late , a little extravagant sometimes in their similitudes ; because they make a pretty kinde of sound to those that mark 'um not ; make that your way of wit , and never speak without comparisons . But never were comparisons so odious as thine are . And these two Rabbit-suckers , for a quart of wine extol thee , and cry good when thou speakest so . Pun. The Captains raging mad like a Baker when his oven is over heated . Bla. And that was one of um — Cut. Come leave your humors , hang you , confound you , pox take you , Captain , we come to drink here . Bla. Mine's no blind Ale-house , where you may roar and swagger with half a pipe of Tobacco in your mouth . Cut. Do you know me , Captain ? Bla. I would I never had . Thou art one that sayest thou hast seen the wars , but thou liest basely ; for if thou ever wast in a battle , i 'm sure thou winkest there . Thou art one that liv'st like a Raven by providence and rapine : one that if thou shouldst chance to go to bed sober , thou wouldst put it down in thy Almanack for an unlucky day ; sleep is not death's image with thee , unless thou beest dead-drunk . Dog. He dares not abuse me thus . Cut. Is 't even so , Captain ? Has your money exalted you ? Bla No , it has humbled me , and made me know my self and you , whom I shall study to forget hereafter . Dog. Come , Captain , shall you and I drink hand to hand ? Bla. Oh , you 're his Lansprizado , Sirrah , Trundle . Dog. Let not thy wrath swell like the Adrian Sea. Bla. Thou that troublest thy self to be a fool ; I will so beat thee , Trundle , that thou shalt hobble like one of thy own Rhyms . Therefore , if ever thou shewest that Poetical face of thine within my doors again , I le use thee worse then thou didst me , when thou mad'st an Ode in commendation of me . Dog. Then break thine oaten reed — Bla. Fare ye well Gentlemen . I shall see thee Cutter a brave Tapster shortly ; it must be so i'faith , Cutter ; thou must like Bardolph i' the play , the spiggot weild . Dogrel shall make and sell smal Pamphlets i' the play-house , or else Tobacco , or else snuffe Candles . As for Puny , his means will serve him to be cheated of these five or six yeers . Cut. 'T is very well the times are so alter'd . Bla. Ye cannot want a living Gentlemen , as long as there are Whores , Bowling-allies , or Ordinaries ; especially such able men as you are . There will be wars too shortly ; never quake , Cutter ; here 's Dogrel , when his want has spun him out a little thinner , will serve you for a pike . Cut. 'T is very well : pray God your mirth last , Captain . Bla. When you 're grown old , and your fingers then only nimble with the palsie , I 'll provide an Hospital for you — Sedes ubi fata quietas — Fare ye well , Gallants ; and pray be merry : Fare ye well heartily . Exit . Cut. Poverty , the pox , an ill wife , and the Devil go with thee , Captain . Pun. I vexed him , when I put that jest upon him , like a Baker when his oven's over-heated . Dog. If I don't compose a Satyre shall make him hang himself , may I never write verse more . Cut. I would beat him like a Buck , but I shall be bound to the peace for 't , and be affronted afterward by every one . Dog. No , no , no — let me see — Besides my Satyre I have another way — let me see — His brother traffickt at Guiny . Cut. Yes , but the Merchants there report him dead . Dog. The more knaves they : he lives , and I am he . Cut. How ? How , Dogrel , thou the Merchant man ? Dog. By this light , I either am , or will be . Cut. How , Dogrel ! Though thou be as thin and penetrable as a spirit , yet thou canst not assume dead bodies . Pun Prithee , Dog●el , hold thy peace ; thou talkest like a hogs f●ce . Dog. De●ide not Puny : if I be not more like then any of your similitudes , I 'll be hang●d for 't . Cut. Thy face , indeed , will do exceed●ng well to represent one risen from the grave Dog. By long conversation with the Captain , I know all the passages between him and his brother ; know what his humour , what his state and fortunes were , better then himself did when he lived . Cut. I , but thou ' lt ne'er act him . Why , man , he was a thing more st●ange then any monster in Africk where he travell'd . Pun. What was he , prithee ? Dog. I knew him well enough ; he had lost his memory , and therefore either writ down every thing , and took his business with him in a scroll , or else trusted it to his man Iohn , whom he carried with him . Cut. O I , that Iohn and he went perpetually together , like the blinde man and his dog . Pun. Or a Tinker and his t●ull . But d' ye hear , gallants , let me do apple - Iohn : never was such a Iohn as I 'll be , not Iohn a Gaunt himself , nor Iohn a Nook . Cut. But Dogrel , how wilt thou be made like that Cinque-●ater ? Dog. Why we Poets can do any thing . First you may remember ( unless you be like him ) 't is seven yeers since he went from hence ; and time , you know , will alter men . I made an Ode upon that subject once : Time , that dost eat , and makst no Lent — Cut. Pox take your Ode ; go on i' your business , Dogrel . Dog. Then I and my man Iohn ( as simply as he stands here ) will swarthy over our faces as if the Countrey had made us so : for if you remember my verses , In Africk they are black as coals — Cut. The devil 's i' thy verses . Prithee on . Dog. Besides , we 'll be attir'd in some strange habit of those Countries : I know not how ; but you shall see 't in Speed , Maps . Cut. Why now I like thee , my little Ovid ; go about thy Metamorphosis . I 'm for Tabyth● ; she 's taken , Dogrel , ●elted like virgins wax . I ll to her presently , and tell her that the vision appeared to me last , and warn'd me to carry her to S. 〈◊〉 ; there will I have a Priest. Dog. A Priest , Cutter ? Cut. A Minister , I mean ; a holy , godly , zealous Minister : and she — You conceive me , Dogrel — Dog. Well , let 's be going then . Puny , take heed o' your wit when you act Iohn : I shall beat my servant Iohn , if he be witty . Pun. That 's the devil ; I shall hardly abstain . Cut. And Dogrel , you must make no verses , Dogrel : let that be the first thing your memory fails you in . Pun. Well , I 'll follow you in a pissing-while . Dog. Do so , good Iohn . Exit Dog. Cut. Pun. Now will I turn Iohn , as round as a Wedding-ring : and if that plot be cut of● by the nose — Ha ? Here comes sententious Bias that walks gravely . I 'll observe my young Laconian . Act. 4. Scaen. 4. Puny , Truman filius . Tru. She 's gone for ever . Peace be with thee , Lucia . Where ever thou art . Pun. Now he begins his Epithala ●ium . Tru. If she be guilty , Forgive her , heav'n ; she 'll repent , I 'm sure : For she is soft , and melting as the dew , That kisses ev'ry morn the ●embling roses ; And howsoe'er beauty and youth misled her , She cannot be , I know , a stubborn sinner . Pun. Did ever Basket-maker talk thus ? to himself too , l●ke a Conjurer in a garden ? Tru. Ha! This is he , that wicked man , That devil which betray'd her . Pun. O , are you thereabouts ? Offers to go out . Tru. Nay stay , For wert thou arm'd with thunder and my anger , Yet I would bring thee back . Tell me what charms , ( For I will rip thy heart up but I 'll know it ) What witch-craft didst thou use t' entice her thus ? Never deny 't . For hadst thou been more handsome Then other mens , or thine own flattery Could ever make thee : hast thou been as beautiful , And couldst have spoke as well as she her self , All this were nothing ; she would look upon thee , But lust no more then thine own Angel does . No , thou didst use some cursed art to tempt her , Some Philter — Pun Not I by all — what d' ye mean pray , Sir ? Tru. Why then you ravisht her , by Heav'n you ravisht her : Alas , she 's weak and tender , very tender , And was not able to resist that strength Which youth and furious lust did arm thee with . 'T was basely done , above expression basely , And I would presently revenge it fully , But that my sword would take from the laws justice , And from thy shame . Pun. I ravish her ? By this light I scorn 't . Tru. You did enjoy her body ? Did you not ? Pun. I did so . Tru. You did ? I prithee do not say you did so ; This is to brag of the vile act th' ast done : But I shall spoil your pride and shameful glory Which your base sin affords you . Pun. You bid me tell you the truth , what would you ha'me do ? Tru. Do ? I would have thee fix thy adulterous eye Upon the ground , which thy cursed feet dishonour ; And blush more red then is the sin th' ast acted . What would I have thee do ? I 'd have thee weep , Shed as true tears as she does for thy fault , And sigh away thy body into air . What would I have thee do ? I●d have thee kill thy self . And sacrifice thy life to her wrong'd Soul. Canst thou refuse to do all this for her , For whom th' ast damn'd thy self ? Pun. We were contracted first e'er I enjoyed her . Tru. Didst thou enjoy her then ? How durst thou do it ? Why she was mine , I tell thee she was mine ; All the Seas wealth should not have bought her from me , While she remain'd as spotless as my love : And so she did remain till thy sin stain'd her . I tell thee to that hour she was more innocent Then thou , false man , wert in thy mothers womb . Didst thou enjoy her ? Either fetch back that word , Say , nay I 'll have thee swear thou didst not touch her , Or by those joyes which thou hast rob'd me of , I 'll kill thee strait . Pun. ' Siid I did not touch her . What would you ha' me say ? would I were Iohn the Merchants man now . Tru. O Heav'ns ! O most unheard of villany ! Th hast done a crime so great , that there is hardly Mercy enough in Heav'n to pardon thee . Tell me , ( for now I 'll argue mildly with thee ) Why should you seek t' undo a harmless maid ? To rob her of her friend● , her life perhaps , I 'm sure her fame , which is much dearer to her . 'T was an inhuman act ; an act so barbarous , That Nations unciviliz'd would abhor it : I dare say boldly she nev'r injured you ; For she was gentle as the breath of Zephyrus : And if she e'er did but begin a thought Of wronging any man , she would have wept Before she thought it out . Pun. I had rather be a pickl'd ▪ Oister , then i'th is case I am in now . Tru. Is Lucia abus'd ? and I stand here T expostulate with words her injuries ? Draw , for I 'll talk no more with thee . Pun. D' ye hear , Sir — by Heaven I lay with her , but we were contracted first — will you be pleas'd to hear me ? Tru. No , be gone . Pun. Most willingly . Fare ye well heartily , Sir ; I wish you a good night-cap . Exit . Tru. The want of sleep and diet has distempered me , If I stay thus I shall be quite distracted ; Me thinks a kinde of strangeness seizes me : And yet if I go home I shall be forc'd To marry with Aurelia . Is it possible There should be women good , if Lucia be not ? They are not sure : She lookt as well as any , And spoke as well too . Act. 4. Scaen. 5. Truman pater , Truman filius , Blade . Tru. p. I tell you , Captain , he 's a stubborn boy , a self-will'd hair-brain'd boy : he has his know-nots , and his wo'nots , and his may be 's , when I speak . I have told him of his manner a hundred ti●es ; nay I may say a thousand . Bla. Pray take ●y counsel for this once : though I be a souldier , yet I love not to do all things by force . Speak fairly to him . Tru. p. Speak fairly to my son ? I 'll see him buried , I 'll see his eyes out first . Bla. I mean , desire him . Tru. p. O , that 's another matter . Well , for your perswasion , I 'll do it : but if ever I speak fair to him — Bla. I know his nature 's such , that kindness will sooner win him — Look you , he 's here i'faith , as melancholy as an owl i' the day-time . Tru. p. O , are you there , Jacksauce — Bla. Nay , remember what I told you . Tru. p. 'T is true indeed How now , son Dick ? you 're melancholy still , I see . Tru. f. It best becomes my fortune , Sir , now you have cast me off . Tru p. I cast thee off ? marry God forbid , Dick. How dost do , Dick ? Thou lookst ill , Dick , in troth thou dost : I must have thee merry . Bla. I see all kindness is against this dotards nature , he does so over-act it . Tru. p. Wilt thou have a Physitian , Dick ? Thou art my onely son , Dick , and I must have a care of thee : thou shouldst ride abroad sometimes , Dick , and be merry . We 'll ha' a wife too for thee , Dick , a good wife , ha — Tru. fil . I thank you , Sir ; but I know not — Tru. p. I , now he 's at his know-nots . I will make you leave those know-nots , boy — Bla. Remember , M. Truman , what I told you . Tru. p. 'T is true indeed . Your father's old now , Dick , you see , and would fain see a grandchilde : t is out of love to you , Dick , that I perswade you to 't ; you may be a comfort , Dick , to your father now . Tru. f. You may comm●nd me . Tru. p. Well said , Dick , I see thou lovest me now , Dick ; dost thou want any money , Dick ? or cloathes ? or horses ? You sh●uld tell me what you want , you shall have any thing — here 's the Captain , a hearty friend of yours — where 's your Daughter , Captain ? there 's a wench , Dick ! ha you seen her ? Tru. f. Yes , Sir. Tru. p. And how do you like her , Dick ? speak freely . T●u . f. I know no cause why any should dislike her . Tru p. Why well said , Dick ; keep thee o' that minde still , and God will bless thee . Bla. Your father means , Mr. Truman , I suppose , how you like her for a wife . Tru. p. I can tell my own meaning my self I hope , I 'm old enough I 'm sure . Tru. f. You wrong her much , I never shall deserve her . Alas , I am a man so weak in all things , So lost both to the world and to my self ; That if I lov'd a woman heartily , And woo'd her with all zealous passions , And valu'd her love 'bove all things else but Heaven ; Yet , when I thought upon my own unworthiness , I should my self perswade her not to marry me . Bla. Well , Sir , if you esteem her worth your choise , she shall be yours . Tru. p. Why what should ayre him , Captain ? He esteem her ? Must he , forsooth , or I be Master pray ? Captain Blade , you make him too saucy with such talk ; never tell me , Captain Blade , I say it makes him too saucy , I marry does it , it does i'faith ; must he be his own Carver ? Come no more words , I●ll have you married presently : i'saith law , Captain , you make him too saucy , that you do , you do i'faith , Sir ; I can't abide when sons must come to esteem , he esteem her with a vengeance ? Tru. f. I desire time onely to consider — Tru. p. I , why I told you this ; 't is such a another wilful , hair-braind Coxcomb , he 's always a considering . Captain Blade , I could never keep him from his considering ; but I shall so consider you — go get you in , Sir , I 'll have it done when I please ; get you in , Sir , I 'll keep you from considering hereafter . Exeunt . Act. 4. Scaen. 6. Aurelia , Lucia disguis'd . Aur. What did you say your name was ? Luc. Jane , forsooth . Aur. Well said , Iane ; and as I told you , Iane , you shall have six pound a yeer , Iane , for your wages ; and then my cloathes will serve you with a little alteration : There 's a gown of my Cosen 's within will almost fit you , you 're much about her height , you shall ha' that too . I had a Cousin here was a foolish thing god wot , 't is well I 'm rid of her — and d'ye hear — you must be very secret and faithful to your Mistris ; a waiting womans place , is a place require , secrecy . Luc. I shall ill deserve your favour else . Aur. Nay , I dare trust thee , Iane , thou lookst ingenuously : didst thou ever live at Court ? Luc. No forsooth . Aur. O , you must learn the fashions of the Court : I 'm already contracted to one Mr. Puny , though he little things of it ; Take heed of speaking , Iane , you see I trust you . And when I 'm married to him I 'll live at Court : He 's a simple thing God knows , but I 'll have him knighted , and I like him the better for 't : A wise woman you know will make the best use of a foolish husband . You know how to dress me , Iane , i' the Court fashion ? Luc. Yes forsooth . Aur. And you can lay me on a Fucus hansomly ? Luc. I hope I shall quickly learn it . Aur. And when you see a friend with me , or so , that I would be private with ; you can stay i' the next room , and see that no body come in , to interrupt us ? Luc. I shall not be deficient in my duty . Aur. Well said . And can you tell in private such a Gentleman that you heard me speak in commendation of him , and that I dreamt of him last night ? that will be in your way , Iane , such men will be grateful . And say that I was longing t'other day , for such a jewel or such a toy ? Lucia makes a court'sy . Luc. I hope you shall not finde me wanting in any service to you . Aur. I beleeve thee , Iane. To morrow I 'll teach thee more : I shall read to you every day a lesson , til I see you perfect in the science : 't is requisite that you have a little of the Theory first . Go look out the pearle chain in the Cabinet within ; and stay till I come to you . Exit Iane. The wench I see is docile , and will learn ; but alas she must have time ; she has a little to much City breeding , I see , by Court'sies and forsooths . Act 4. Scaen. 7. Aurelia , Blade . Bla. How now ? all alone , Aurelia ? you 're eating soap and ashes here , I warrant you , without so much as saying grace for ' um . Aur. I 'd rather repent in ashes , Sir , then eat 'um Bla. What would you think if I should marry now this very day ? Aur. I should think , Sir , you 'd repent to morrow for●t . Bla. And the widow too . Aur The widow ? then you 'll repent to night , Sir , I believe . Bla. I woo'd her long ago , and now she sees there 's an estate faln to me , faith she 's content ; and , to save charges , is willing to be married to day privately . Aur. But I hope you are not so , Sir : why we shall have all the silenc'd Ministers humming and hawing thrice a week here ; not a dish o' meat but will be longer a blessing then a rosting . I shall never hear my Virginals when I play upon 'um , for her daughter Tabytha's singing of Psalms . The first pious deed will be , to banish Shakespear and Ben. Iohnson out of the parlour , and to bring in their rooms Mar-prelate , and Pryns works . You 'll ne'er endure 't , Sir You were wont to have a Sermon once a quarter at a good time ; you shall have ten a day now . Bla. Let me alone to deal with ' um . If any of her eating talking tribe shew their ears here , I will so use her tribe , that they shall free the Pope , and call me Antichrist hereafter : and the widow , I●ll warrant you , I 'll convert : I 'll carry her to Plays , in stead of Lectures : she shall see them , as well as the dancing o' the ropes , and the Puppet-play of Nineve . But this is not my business , girl : I have an husband too for you . Aur. I could wish you would keep him , Sir , if you have him ; I know not what to do with him my self . Bla. Come , 't is a man you 'll like , I 'm sure ; I have heard you often commend him for his parts . 'T is young M. Truman . Au. Truman , Sir ? the melancholy cross-arm'd Gentleman that talks to trees and rivers as he goes by ' um ? We should sit all day together like pictures of man and wife , with our faces towards one another , and never speak I 'll undertake , upon our Marriage-night he 'll onely sigh a little , cry Cruel Fate , and then go sleep . Bla. Never fear 't . Come , thou shalt have him , girl : go quickly and dress your self ; we 'll both be married on a day . The humor is good , and it saves charges : there 's the widows humour too . Aur. You 'll give me leave , Sir — Bla. No , no , no ; prithee go dress thy self : by heaven it must be as I say : the fates have ordain'd it . Aur. Be pleas'd to hear me , Sir. Bla. I would not hear thee , though thou wert an Angel. I 'm as resolute as he that writ the Resolves . Come away , and adorn thy self . Exeunt . Act. 4. Scaen. 8. Cutter , Dogrel , and Puny disguis'd . Pun. Me thinks . I look now like a two-peny apple pye , I know no● how . Dog. Iohn , What 's your name , Iohn ? I have forgot your name , Iohn . Pun. Do you mean the name that was given me at the Font ? Dog. Font ? Font ? I do not remember that Font. Let me see my scroll . ( Reads . ) There 's ne'er a such town in Africa as Font. I do not remember Font. Pun. Your memory , Sir , 's as short as an Ephemerides . Dog. Did not I warn you , Iohn , of such strange what-d'ye-call ums ? Here 's for that word . ( Strikes . ) I have forgot what word 't was : for the word I mean. Pun. Pox take you , Dogrel , you strike too hard . Cut. thou 'dst act well , I see : we 'll ha' thee to Golden-lane , and there thou shalt do a King , or else some God in thine own cloathes . Dog. When a dead man from Orcus I retract , Well may you see that to the life I act . Pun. Did not I warn you o' these what-d'ye-call-ums ? 'Faith we 'll be even , Master . St●ikes him . Cut. Very well , Iohn ; those be good Memorandums for your Master . Dog. I should be angry with thee for it , but that I ha' quite forgot it . Cut. Let 's see your scroll . ( Reads ) Me●morandum for my house : I have a house in Fleetstreet , with a garden to 't . My daughter is call'd Lucia ; a handsome fair maid with red cheeks , black eyes , and brown hair , and a little dimple in her chin . My brother's name ( to whom I left the charge of my daughter ) is Blade . ( A most excellent Note indeed . ) What ha' we here ? Memorandums concerning my estate . What , they 're all of this stamp , are they not ? Take heed , Dogrel , the Captain 's a shrewd fellow ; he 'll examine you more strictly then the Spanish Inquisition can . Dog. Pish , if he pose me in any thing , my memory 's weak , he knows ; I h' forgot it quite . Cut. And then your voice I fear ; and then — Dog. Pox take you , Cutter ; a Casuist would not finde so many scruples . Pun. The devil 's in 't , I shall never do this part ; I know not how to speak and not be witty . Cut. Well , look to 't , gallants ; if the Captain finde you out , he 'll abuse you most unmercifully — I 'm now for Tabytha . Pun. The Captain abuse me ? By this day , I 'll jeer with him with my hands bound behinde me . Come away , Master . Dog. I , Iohn ; but which way did we come ? Pun. Why this way , Master . Dog. Then that way we must go . Is not this my house in Fleet street , Iohn I thought you had said t' had been in Fleet street . Pun. Yes , so 't is , Sir. Dog. Truly I thought you said so . Come away , Iohn . Exeunt . Finis Actus quarti . Act. 5. Scaen. 1. Cutter , Tabytha . Cut. And the vision told me , sister Tabytha , that this same day , the twelfth of March , in the yeer of grace 1641 , at this same holy place , by a holy man , we two , who are both holy vessels , should be joyned together in the holy band of Matrimony . Tab. My mother will be angry , I 'm affeard . Cut. Your mother will rejoyce . I would not for a world that you should do it , but that we were commanded from above ; yea , I may say commanded : for , to do things without a divine warrant , is like unto the building of a fire without a bottom cake . Tab. I ( God knows ) that it is . Cut. Very well , sister . Now when my eyes were opened in the morning , I awoke : for it was morning-tide , and my eyes were opened ; and I looked into my pockets ; for my breeches lay upon a joyn'd stool not far from the beds side : and in my pockets , even made with leather , I looked ( I say ) and found ; What did I finde ? marry a License written with ink and pen : Where did I finde it ? in no other place , but even in a godly Catechism which I had wrapt and folded up long-ways , even in that very pocket . Tab. I wou'd my mother knew it . But I 'll not resist , God willing . Cut. There is a godly Teacher within , that never was defiled with the Cap and Surplice , never wore that gambol call'd the Hood ; even he shall joyn our hands . Shall we enter , sister ? Tab. Brother , I 'll not resist . Exeunt . Act. 5. Scaen. 2. Truman filius , Aurelia . Tru. And must we marry then ? Aur. It appears so by the story . Tru. Why will you marry me ? What is there in me That may deserve your liking ? I shall be The most ill-favour'd malancholy Bride-groom That ever took a melting maid t' his bed : The faculties of my Soul are all untun'd , And every glory of my spreading youth Is turn'd into a strange and sudden winter . You cannot love me sure . Aur. No by my troth , Sir. Tru. No , nor I you . Why should we marry then ? 'T were a meere folly , were it not Aurelia ? Aur. Nay , ask our Parents why . But , Sir , they say 'T is the best marriage where like is joyned to like ; Now we two are a very even match ; For neither I love , you nor you love me ; And 't is ten to one but we shall beget Children that will love neither of us . Tru. Nay , by my Soul I love you , but alas , Not in that way that husbands love their wives ; I cannot play , nor toy , nor kiss , nor do I know not what : And yet I was a lover , As true a lover — Aur. A lack a day , Sir. Tru. 'T was then me-thought the greatest happiness To sit and talk , and look upon my Mistris , Or ( if she was not by ) to think upon her . Then every morning next to my devotion , And sometimes too ( forgive me Heav'n ) before it , She slipt into my fancy , and I took it As a good omen for the following day . It was a pretty foolish kind of life , An honest harmless vanity : But now The fairest face moves me no more then Snow Or Lillies when I see 'um and pass by . And I as soon shall deeply fall in love With the fresh scarlet of an Easterne cloud , As the red lips and cheek● of any woman . I do confess , Aurelia , thou art fair And very lovely , and ( I think ) good natur'd . Aur. Faith , Sir , I would not willingly be a man , if they be all like you . Tru. And prithee now , Aurelia , tell me truly , Are any women constant in their vowes ? Can they continue a whole week ? a month ? And never change their faith ? O if they could , They would be excellent things . Nay , ne'er dissemble : Are not their lusts unruly , insolent , And as commanding as their beauties are ? Are their tears true and solid when they weep ? Aur. Sure , Mr. Truman , you ha'n't slept of late ; If we be married to night , what will You do for sleep ? Tru. Why ? Do not married people use to sleep ? Aur. Yes , yes . Alas good innocence ! Tru. They have a scurvy time of 't if they do not ; But we 'll not be as other people are , We 'll finde out some new hansome way of love , Some kind of way that few shall imitate , But all admire . For 't is a sordid thing That lust should dare t' insinuate it self Into the marriage-bed . We 'll get no children , The worst of men and women can do that . Besides too , if our issue should be female , They would all learn to flatter and dissemble , They'd all deceive with promises and vowes Some simple man , and then turn false and kill him . Would they not do 't Aurelia ? Aur. Our sex is little beholding to you , Sir ; I would your mother were alive to hear you . But pray , Mr. Truman , what shall we do when we are married ? Tru. Why we 'll live lovingly together : Sometimes we 'll sit and talk of excellent things , And laugh at all the nonsence of the world : Somtimes we 'll walk together into the fields : Sometimes we 'll pray and read , and sometimes eat , And sometimes sleep ; and then at last we●ll die , And go to heav'n together . 'T will be dainty ▪ Aur. We may do this , me thinks , and never marry for the business . Tru. 'T is true , we might do so : But since our parents are resolv'd upon 't , In such a trifle let 'um have their humour . My father sent me here to complement , And keep a prating here , and play the fool : I cann●t do 't . What should I do , Aurelia ? What do they use to say ? Aur. Sure. Sir , you knew , when you were a suitor to my cousin Lucia . Tru. I , but those days are past , and I have now Forgot what manner of man a lover is : I was one then , I 'm sure on 't . O that Lucia , That Lucia was so wonderful a creature — There was a cheek , a lip , a nose , an eye ! Did you observe her eye , Aurelia ? Aur. Yes , yes , Sir , you were wont to sit all day , And look upon the pretty babies in it . Tru. It was as glorious as the eye of heav'n , Like the souls eye , dispers'd through ev'ry thing . And then her hands ! her hands of liquid Ivory ! Did she but touch her Lute ( the pleasing'st harmony Then upon earth , when she her self was silent ) The subtil motion of her flying fingers Taught Musick a new art , To take the sight As well as th' ear . Aur. I , I , Sir , y 'had best go look her out , and marry her . Tru. Nay prithee be not angry , good Aurelia ; I do not say she is more fair then thou art : Yet if I did — No , but I will not say so : Onely I strive to cherish the remembrance Of one I lov'd so well . And , now I think on 't , I 'll beg a favour of you : you 'll laugh at me , I know , when you have heard me : but I 'll beg it : Prithee be veil'd as Lucia was of late ; Cast such a silken cloud upon thy beauty For this one day : I 'd fain marry you so . 'T is an odde foolish humour , I confess : But love and grief may be allow'd sometimes A little innocent folly . Aur. Well , I 'll obey your humour ; pray walk in there ; I 'll onely dress my self , and wait upon you . Tru. And we 'll be married very privately . None but our selves , it will be best , Aurelia . Exit . Aur. Why here 's a husband for a wench of clouts ! May I never laugh again , if his company has not made me duller then Ale and butter'd cakes wou'd ha' done . I marry him ? the old men must excuse me . I 'll sooner chuse a fellow that lies bed-rid , and can do nothing a-nights but cough . Well , if I don't teach 'um what 't is to force a wench that has wit , may my husband beat me when I have one , and I sit still and cry . I like this very well — It shall be so . Iane , come hither , Iane. Act. 5. Scaen. 3. Aurelia , Lucia . Aur. O Iane , that 's well ; little think you what good 's towards you ; 't is that you have wisht for , I dare say , th●se five yeers ; a good handsome husband . What think you of young Truman ? Luc. I think every thing That makes a man compleat , and his wife happie , The richest glories of a minde and body , And their not ill companion , Fortune too , Are reconcil'd and married all in him : And I commend the wisdom of your stars , That joyn you two together . Aur. Nay saith thou shalt e'en have him thy self for better or worse . He 's too hansome indeed , unless he could make better use of his beauty ; for by my troth , wench , I 'm afraid thou 'lt finde thy pillow as good a bed-fellow . Luc. I pray do not mock your servant . Aur. Thou shalt see , Iane , I do not ; come in , wench , and I 'll tell thee all my plot . Exeunt . Act. 5. Scaen. 4. Blade , Servant . Bla. Well , Sir , is the Cook doing according to my directions ? Serv. Yes , Sir , he 's very hard at his business i' the kitchin : h' has been a swearing and cursing at the scullions at least this hour , Sir. Bla. 'T is such an over-wasted Coxcomb ; an other wedding dinner would make him a S. Lau●ence : bid him be sure the Venison be well season'd Serv. Troth , Sir , I dare not speak to him now , unless I put on the armor in the hall : he had like to have spitted me next to a goose , for saying that he look'd like an ox that was roasted whole at S. Iame's fayre . Bla. You have invited a●l the guests to dinner you talk●d of ? Serv. Yes , Sir. Bla. And the widdows round-headed kindred ? Serv. Yes , Sir. Bla. They 'l come i' their garded petticoats , will they not ? You should have bid 'um eat no por●ige at home , to seem more mannerly here at dinner . The widdow will be angry at their charges , but I 'll please her at night . Go bid the Butler look to his plate , and not be drunk till he sees it all in again . Whose at the door there ? Act. 5 Scaen. 5. Blade , Dogrel , and Puny disguis'd . Serv. Faith , Sir , you know as well as I ; some charitable beast come to be drest here . Shall I call the Cook , Sir ? Dog. Why this is my house here , Iohn : ha ! ha ! little thought I to have seen my house in Fleet-street again . Where 's my brother Blade ? Bla. They call me Captain Blade . Dog. Is this he Iohn ? Let me see ( reads ) A proper burly man , with a whitei●h beard , a quick eye , and a nose inclining to red , 't is true Save you good brother , you did not expect me here ; did you brother ? Stay let me see how many yeers ago is't since we went from home ? Pun. 'T is now just seven , Sir. Dog. Seven ! me think 's I was here but yesterday : How the what-d'ye-call-'um runs ? What do ye call it ? Pun. Time , Sir. Dog. I , I , Time. What was 't I was saying ? O , I was telling you brother , that I had quite forgot you : was I not telling him so Iohn ? Bla. By my troth , Sir , we are both quits then ; for I have forgot you too . Why , you were dead five yeers ago . Dog. Was I so ? I ha' quite forgot it . Iohn , was I dead five yeers ago ? My memo●ry failes me very much of late ▪ Pun. We were worse then dead I 'm sure ; we were taken by a barbarous kind of Nation , and there made slaves these five yeers . Iohn quoth he ! I was poor Iohn indeed : I 'm sure they fed us three whole yeers with nothing but Acorns and water : we lookt like wicker-bottles . Dog. How , Sirrah ? Did your Master look like a wicked boat-man ? ( strikes him ) Nay I remember what you said we lookt like Did we look like what-d'ye-call-ums ? Bla. Where did they take you prisoners ? Dog. Nay ask Iohn , he can tell you I warrant you . 'T was in — tell him , Iohn , where it was . Pun. In Guiny , Sir. Bla. By what Country-men were you taken ? Dog. Why they were call'd — I know not what they call'd 'um 't was an odde kinde of name ; but Iohn can tell you . Pun. ' Slife , who I Sir ? d' ye think I can remember all things ? Dog. 'T is in my book here ; I remember well the name of any Country under the Sun. Pun. I know their names , Sir , well enough ; but I onely tri'd my Masters memory . They 're call'd Tartarians . Dog. How say you ? what were they ? Pun. Tartarians , Sir. Dog. I , I , these were the men Bla. How , Iohn ! why all the world , man , lies between 'um : they live up i' the North. Pun. The North ? Bla. I , the very North , Iohn . Pun. That 's true indeed : but these were another nation of the Tartarians that liv'd by us . Bla. Well , how escap'd you , Iohn , at last ? Pun. Why 'faith , Sir , to tell you the truth , for I love not to tell a lye , the Kings daughter fell in love with me , and for my sake there set us free . My master has it all in his book ; 't is a fine story . Bla. Strange ! In what ship did you come back ? Dog. What ship ? why 't was call'd — a thing that swims — How d' ye call it ? Bla. What ? the Mermaid ? Dog. No , no , no , let me see — Bla. What ? was 't the Triton ? Dog. No , no — it swims , I tell you . Bla. The Dolphin ? Dog. No , no — I have forgot what ' t was . Bla. What say you , Iohn ? Pun. ( Pox take him . ) I , Sir ? O God , my Master , Sir , can tell as well as I. Bla. He says he has forgot . Pun. T is his pleasure to say so , Sir : he may say what he pleases . ( A plague upon him . ) You can't conceive the misery we have past , Sir. Bla. Well , brother , I 'll make bold to ask one question more of you . Where did you leave your Will when you went away ? Pun. ' Slife , now he 's pos'd again . Dog. I 'll tell you presently , brother ; let me see . ( Reads . ) Memorandum for my Will : Left to my brother Blade the whole charge of my estate — hum — What did you ask me brother ? Bla. In what place you left your Will ? Dog ▪ I , that was it indeed ; you 're i' the right ; 't was the very thing you askt me ; and yet see how quickly I forgot it . My memory 's short , alas , God help me . Bla. This is no answer to my question , yet . Dog. 'T is true indeed . What was your question , pray ? Bla. Where you left your Will. Dog. Good lord● I had forgot you askt me this ; I had forgot , i'faithlaw , that I had : you 'll pardon my infirmity , I hope , brother ; for alas — alas — I ha' forgot what I was going to say to you ; but I was a saying somthing , I am sure . Pun. Did not you know us , Will ? prithee tell 's true . Serv. No , by this light : why , you 're grown as black as the chimney-stock . Pun. That 's the nature of the Country where we liv'd . O the stories that I shall tell you ! And how does Nell , and little bonny Bess ? are they as merry grigs as e'er they were ? Serv. No ; Bess , poor wench , is married to a Chandler ; but she 's true blue still , as right as my leg , I 'll warrant you . Dog. What is 't , Iohn ? what was I going to say , Iohn , to my brother ? Pun. I know not , Sir ; was 't not about your daughter ? Dog. I , I , my daughter — What d' ye call her ? Pun. Lucia , Sir. Dog. 'T is true indeed ; my daughter Lucia , brother . Bla. Pray walk into the parlour ; I 'll come to you presently , and tell you all . Dog. Well , Iohn , put me in minde o' my daughter Lucia . ( A plague o' your Tartarians . ) Pun. ( And o' your what-d'ye-call ums . ) Dog. ( ' Slife , Tartarians . ) Exeunt Dog. Pun. Bla. If these be rogues , they are as impudent as Mountebanks and Juglers : and if I finde 'um to be rogues , ( as I see nothing yet to the contrary ) how I will exercise my rogues ! The tyranny of a new Beadle over a beggar , shall be nothing to mine . Come hither , Will , what think you of these two fellows ? Serv. 'Faith , Sir , I know not : but if you think it be not my old Master , I 'll beat 'um worse then the Tartarians did . Bla. No , no , let 's try um first . Thou wast wont to be a very precious knave , and a great acter too , a very Roscius . Didst not thou once act the Clown in Musidorus ? Serv. No , Sir ; but I plaid the Bear there . Bla. The Bear ? why that 's a good part ; th' art an acter then , I 'll warrant thee . The Bear 's a well pen'd part . And you remember my brothers humour , don't you ? They have almost hit it . Serv. Yes , Sir , I know the shortness of my Masters memory ; he would forget sometimes to pay me my wages till he was put in minde on 't . Bla. Well said . I 'll dress thee within in his own chamber ; and all the servants shall acknowledge you . But who shall do trusty Iohn ? Serv. O , Ralph the Butler , Sir ; he 's an old actor , Sir , h' has plaid a King he says . I have heard him speak a Play ex tempore in the Buttry , Sir. Bla. O Ralph , excellent Ralph , incomparable Ralph , Ralph against the world ! Come away , William ; I 'll give you instructions within . It must be done in the twinkling of an eye . Exeunt . Act. 5. Scaen. 6. Cutter , Tabytha , Boy . Cut. Now , Mistress Tabytha Cutter , let me kiss thee . Tab. Pray God my mother be not angry . Cut. Think not o' thy mother , Spouse ; I tell thee , Spouse , thou shalt be a mother thy self , within these nine months . Come to my bed , my dear ; my dear come to my bed : For the pleasant pain , And the loss with gain , Is the loss of a maidenhead . Tab. Is that a Psalm , brother husband , that you sing ? Cut. No , no , a short ejaculatory . Sirrah boy , are the things within that I spoke for ? Boy . Yes , Sir. Cut. Go fetch 'um in . Exit Boy . Come , Tabytha , let 's be merry : Canst thou sing a catch , wench ? O well said , Boy ! Enter boy with a hat and a feather , a broad band , a sword & a belt , & a periwig . Tab What do you mean , brother husband ? I hope you 'll not turn roarer . Cut. What ? do these cloathes befit Queen Tabytha ▪ s husband ? this hat with a chimny-crown , and brims no broader then a moderate hat-band ? Give me the Periwig , boy . What ? shall Empress Tabytha's husband go as if his head were scalded ? or with the seam of a shirt for a band ? Shall I walk without a sword , and not dare to quarrel i' the streets , and thrust men from the wall ? Will the Fidlers be here presently , boy ? Boy . Yes , Sir. Tab. Pish , I can't abide these doings . Are you mad ? O lord ! what will my mother say ? There shall come no Fidlers here . Cut. Be peaceable , gentle Tabytha ; they will not bring the Organs with ' um . I say be peaceable ; he vision bid me do thus . Wilt thou resist the vision ? Tab. An' these be your visions — Little did I think 't were — Is this your religion and praying ? Which of all the Prophets wore such a map about his head , or such a sheet about his neck ? What shall I do ? I am undone . Cut. What shalt thou do ? Why , thou shalt dance , and sing , and drink , and laugh ; thou shalt go with thy brests open , and thy hair braided ; thou shalt put fine black stars upon thy face , and have great bobs for thy ears . Nay , if thou dost begin to look rustily , I 'll have thee paint thy face like the whore of B●bylon . Tab. O that ever I was born to see this day ! Cut. What ? dost thou weep , Queen Did● ? Thou shalt have Sack to drive away thy sorrow . Come hither , boy , fetch me a quart of Canary . ( Exit boy . ) Thou shalt see I 'll be a loving husband to thee . The vision , Tabytha , bid me give you drink : we must obey these visions . Sing , Tabytha : Cry on your wedding-day ? 't is ominous . Come to my bed , my dear ; Come to my bed : For the pleasant pain — Enter boy with wine . O art thou come , boy — Well said , fill a brimmer ; nay fuller yet , yet a little fuller . So. Here 's to the Lady-Spouse ; to our good sport to night . Tab. Drink it your self , if you will ; I 'll not touch it . Cut. By this hand , thou shalt pledge me , seeing the vision said so . Drink , or I 'll take a Coach and carry thee to a Play immediately . Tab. I can't abide — ( She drinks . ) Cut. Why , this will clear thy heart , wench : Sack , and an husband , wench , are both comfortable things . Have at you again . Tab. I 'll pledge you no more . not I. Cut. Here , take this glass , and take it off too , or else I 'll swear an hundred oathes in a breathing-time . Here — Tab. Well , you 're the strangest man — Cut. Why this is right now . Nay off with it . So. But the vision said that whatsoever we left of this same wine , would turn to poison straight . There , here 's to you , Tabytha , once again : 't is the visions will. Tab. What ? must I drink again , then ? Well , I 'll not resist . You 're such another brother-husband . ( Drinks . ) There 's a whole one now — Come to my bed , my dear ; Come to my bed — How was 't ? T was a pretty one . Cut. O divine Tabytha ! Here come the Fidlers too . Strike up , you rogues . Tab. What ? must we dance now ? is not that the fashion ? I could have danc'd the Coranto when I was a girl . The Coranto's a curious dance . Cut. We 'll dance out the disease of the Tarantula : but first we 'll have a health to my pretty Tabytha . Tab. I 'll begin't my self . Here , Duck , here 's to all that love us . Cut. A health , you eternal scrapers sound a health . Bravely done , Tabytha : what thinkst thou now o' thy mother ? Tab. A fig for my mother ; I 'll be a mother my self . Come , Duckling , shall we go home ? Cut. Go home ? the Bride and the Bridegroom go ? We 'll dance home . Afore us , squeakers : that way , and be hang'd . So. O brave Queen Tabytha ! excellent Empress Tabytha ! On , you rogues They go out dancing , with the musick before ' um . Act. 5. Scaen. 7. Blade , Dogrel , Puny . Dog. I must not be fob'd off thus about my daughter : I remember not your excuse ; but Iohn can tell well enough , I warrant you . Bla. I have told you the plain truth : you 'll not be angry , I hope . Dog. I shall have cause to be angry , I fear : Did not I leave her to his charge , Iohn ? Brother , I tell you — Bla. I must not answer , brother — Dog. I know you put me out , that I might forget what I said to you before : remember , Iohn : I 'll be as cunning as you 're crafty : remember , John. How now ? what 's the matter ? Enter servant . Serv. Ho , my old Master 's come ; he 's lighted now at the door with his man John : he 's asking for you ; he longs to see you : my Master , my old Master . Bla. This fellow 's mad . Serv. If you wo'n't believe me , go in and see , Sir : he 's not so much alter'd , but you 'll quickly know him . I knew him as soon as I saw him . Pray , Sir , go in . Exeunt Blade and servant . Bla. Why this is strange . Pun. If this be true , what course shall we take , Dogrel ? I begin to shake like a plum-tree-leaf . Dog. We 'll shift some way or other , I warrant you . Pun. How , Dogrel ? prithee how ? Dog. Let the worst come , we can be but whipt , or burnt in the hand , a● the most . Pun. Ho , our best way will be to hang our selves — ' Slife , here 's John. Act. 5. Scaen 8. Dogrel , Puny , John , two or three servants . 1 Serv. Give me thy hand i'faith , boy : is 't possible that thou shouldst be alive still ? 2 Serv. Ha rogue ! art thou come i'faith ? I have a pottle o' Sack to welcome thee . 3 Se●v . Why you 'll not look upon your poor friends , John Give me thy golls , John. How hast thou done this great while ? John. I thank you all heartily for your love ; thank you with all my heart-law . What ? my old bed-fellow Robin ? how dost do ? when shall we steal Apricocks ag●in ? d' ye remember , Robin ? 2 Serv. A murrain take you ; you 'll never forget your roguery . Pun. A murrain take you all : this was your plot , and be hang'd ▪ Would I were Puny the Wit again . Dog. Accursed Fate — 3 Serv. Come , John , let 's go to the Buttry and be merry : Ralph longs to see you , I 'm sure . John. And how does Ralph ? good honest Ralph ? That Ralp's as honest a fellow , though I say 't my self ; I love him with all my heart-law , that I do ; and there 's no love lost , I dare say for him . 2 Serv. Come , my masters , will you go in ? I 'll prevail with the Cook for a slice or two of Beef ; and we 'll have a cup of Stingo , the best in the ce●lar . John. Well said , steel to the back still ; that was your word , you know . My master●s coming in : go . I 'll follow you straight . 1 Serv. Make haste , good John , for I can't stay . Exeunt Servants . John. Here 's a company of as honest fellows a●sa ma● would with to live i' the house withal ; all , no man excepted ▪ Dog. Would I were out of the house , as honest as they are . Here they come , John. Pun. John , quoth he , with a pox . Act. 5. Scaen. 9. Dogrel , Puny , John , Blade , William . Bla. Me thinks you 're not return'd , Sir , But born to us anew , and I could wish My tongue were not more niggardly then my heart In giving you a welcom . Will Thank you good brother . Truly we ha' past through many dangers ; my man shall tell you all , I 'm old and crasy , and forget these things . Enter Widow . Bla. Pox on 't , the Widow 's come already ; keep 'um here John , till I come back . O are you here sweet-heart ? Wid. Who have you yonder , I pray ? Bla. O you should not ha' seen 'um yet , they are Maskers . VVid. Not vagrant players , I hope ? Bla. No , no , they can onely tumble , and dance upon the rope , you shall see 'um after dinner . Let●s away sweet-heart , the Parson stays for us , he has blown his fingers this hour . Exeunt Blade and the Widow . Dog. I 'm glad the Captain 's gone , now will I sneak away , like one that has stolen a silver-spoone . Pun. I 'll be your man and follow you . Wil. Who are these Iohn ? By your leave , Sir ; would you speak with any here ? Dog The Captain , Sir. But I 'll take some other time to wait on him , my occasions call me now . Wil. Nay , pray , Sir , stay . Whom did you say you would speak withall ? Dog. The Captain , Sir. But another time will serve . I ha' some haste of business . Will. Whom would he speak with , Iohn ? I forget still . Ioh. The Captain Sir. Will. Captain ? What Captain Sir ? Dog. Your brother I suppose he is . Will. ' Ti , true indeed , I had forgot that my brother was a Captain . I cry you mercy , Sir , he 'll be here presently . Are you an English-man , Sir ? Dog. Yes , Sir. Will. Where were you born I pray ? Dog. In London , Sir. I must leave you — Will. In London ? y' are an English-man then I see , Sir. Would you have spoke with me Sir ? Dog. No , with your brother , but my business with him requires not haste , and therefore — Will. You 're not in haste you say ; pray sit down then : may I crave your name , Sir ? Dog. My name 's not worth your knowlede , Sir ; but my mans name 's Iohn . Pun. ( If I be John any more I 'll be hang'd ) No my name's Timothy , Sir. Will. Mr. John Timothy ? Very well , Sir. You seem to Be a Travellor . Dog. We 're newly come out of Affrick , and therefore have some business that requires us Will. Of Affrick ? Law you there now . What Country pray ? Dog. Prester John's Country . Fare you well , Sir. now . Will. Marry God forbid . What come from Prester John , and we not drink a cup of Sack together ? Dog. ( What shall I do ? ) Friend , shall I trouble you to shew me where your house of office is ? Will. You 'll stay here Mr. — what 's your name , pray ? Pun. Timothy , Sir. Will. Gods me , 't is true indeed Mr. John Timothy . Pun. Ill only make water , and come to you . Joh. The door , Sir , is lockt ; the Captain has lockt us all in here , if you●ll be pleas'd to stay , Sir , till he comes — Dog. ( I 'd as live stay to meet the Devil , or a Sargeant . ) Pun. ( Would I were hid like maggot in a pescod ; we shall be abused I see , oh , oh , oh , ) Joh. What makes you quake so , Sir ? Pun. Nothing , onely I have an extream list to make water : 'T is nothing else by this light . Will. My brother would not have you gone it seems . Your names Mr. John Timothy , is it ? Dog. No , that 's my mans name . Will. O , your mans name ; 't is true , 't is very true indeed , that 's your man's name . You 'll pardon me , Sir ? Ioh. Pray , friend , do you know the great City call'd Astervadil , where my name-sake Prester-Iohn keeps his Court ? Pun. Know 't ? I , very well ; I have liv'd there a great while , I have cause to know 't . Ioh. Ther 's a brave Castle of three miles long . Pun. I , and many stately building too . Ioh. The noble mens houses are all built of Marble . Pun. They make indeed a glorious show . I ha' seen ' um . Ioh. It may be so . But to my knowledg , friend , there is no such City there . Pun. It may be the names are alter'd since I was there . ( Here 's the Captain , I 'll sneak behind the hangings . ) Act. 5. Scaen. 10. Dogrel , Puny , William , Iohn , Blade , VVidow . Bla. I like this Person well , h' has made short work on 't , he had appointed sure some meetting at an Ale-house . Welcome wife , welcome home now . But I ha' two brethren which you must know . Wid. Marry , Heav'ns for●sheild , Sir. Bla. Brethren in God sweet-heart , no otherwise . Come hither Guiny brother ; what say you ? VVill. This Gentleman , Brother , has stay'd for you here ; pray use him kindly , he 's a Traveller : where did you say you travell'd Sir ? Bla. O yes ! How do you , brother ? Dog. I your brother ? what d' ye mean ? Bla. Why , are not you my brother Blade that was taken captive by the Tartars ? Ha! Dog. You 're merrily dispos'd , Sir : I your brother ! I taken captive by the Tartars ! Ha , ha , ha ! I understand not your meaning , Sir. Bla. What an impudent slave 's this ! Sirrah monster , didst not thou come with thy man Iohn ? Dog. I , my man Iohn ? here 's no such fellow here , you see : how you 're mistaken , Sir ! you mean some other man. This is the strangest humour . Bla. Sirrah , dost thou see this fist ? dost thou see this foot ? I 'll wear these out upon thee — Dog. Hold , pray Sir , hold . I remember now indeed that I was Blade the Merchant ; but I had quite forgot it . You must pardon me ; my memory 's very weak . Bla. I like the humour . But I must know , Sir , who you are , now you ha' left being my brother . Dog. Who , I ? don 't you know me ? I 'm Dogrel the Poet , and Puny was my man Iohn . Lord that you should not know ▪ me all this while ! not know Poet Dogrel ! Why I intended here this merry play , To solemnize your nuptial-day . VVid. O thank you , M. Dogrel ; Can you dance upon the ropes , and tumble ? Truely I never knew it before , not I. Bla. Where 's that fool , Puny ? Is he slipt away ? Pun. ( He was wise enough to do so , I 'll warrant you . ) Bla. I will beat him so , that he shall not finde a similitude for himself . As for you , Dogrel , because you came off pretty handsomely , with the best at the last , like an Epigram , I may chance to pardon you ; but upon this condition , that you make no Epithalamiums upon my marriage . Well said , Will ; bravely done , He pulls off his mens d●sguises . Will : i'faith thou shalt ha' two laces more to thy Livery , for doing this so well . I told thee , Will , what 't was to have acted the Bear in Musidorus . And Ralph was a brave Iohn too — Dog. How 's this ? I plainly see I 'm an Ass then : 't was this damn'd Puny's fearfulness spoil'd all . Pun. ( A pox o' this coward Dogrel : I thought they were not the right ones . ) Bla. I see my Players had more wit then my Poet. Here 's something for you to drink . Go in now : this is your Cue of Exit ; and see all things there in a readiness . Will. Nay , let the Master go first . Follow me , Iohn . Exeunt Will. and Ralph . VVid. What , husband ? Ha' you giv'n 'um any thing ? Indeed , Love , you 're too lavish . Dog. 'T was very wittily put off o' me , howsoever . Act. 5. Scaen. 11. Blade , Widow , Dogrel , Puny , Cutter , and Tabytha , with Fidlers before ' um . Bla. How now ? what ha' we here ? another Puppet-play ? Any thing now but brothers , and I 'm for ' um . Who ? Cutter ? What 's the matter , Poet ? Come , what device is this ? like one o' yours ? Cut. Stay at the door , ye sempiternal squeakers . Come , Queen o' fame . Tab. Lord , I 'm so weary with dancing as passes . Yonder 's my mother . Oh mother ! what d' ye think I ha' been doing to day ? Wid. Why what , childe ? Tab. Nay nothing : I have onely been married a little ; and my husband and I ha' so danc'd it since ! Cut. Brave Tabytha still ! Never be angry , Widow ; you know where Marriages are made . How now , Captain ? If I turn Tapster now , 't will be happie for you : for I shall be rich enough to trust you , Captain . Wid. 'T was Gods will , I see , and therefore there 's no resisting . But what d' ye mean , son ? I hope you 'll not turn swaggerer ? Cut. 'T is for special reasons , gentle mother . Why how now , Dogrel ? M. Blade the Merchant looks as if he were broke : he has turn'd away his servant too . Tab. Who 's that ? M. Dogrel i' these Players clothes ? Can M. Dogrel dance too , husband ? Bla. Prithee , Cutter , what hath exalted Tabytha thus ? Cut. What ? this good fortune she has got by me : You know what a dull creature she was before ; her soul was in her body , like butter in a hot cake ; now she 's as full of Spirits as Hell it self . My counsel and two cups o' Sack , have wrought this miracle . Act. 5. Scaen. 12. To these , Truman Pater , Truman Filius , Lucia veil'd . Tru. p. Well said ! You are joyn'd then now , my blessing on you both ; come in to your father Blade . Nay , daughter Aurelia , off with your veil now . Ha! Whom ha' you married here ? Tru. f. I know not , Sir. She was Aurelia when we went to Church . Bla. This is my daughters maid . Where 's the wench ? Ho! Aurelia ? Act. 5. Scaen. 13. To them , Aurelia . Aur. Here , Sir. Bla. Here , Sir ? Why do you make your husband lead your maid in thus ? Aur. My husband , Sir ? what 's that ? Bla. Why , huswife is not Mr. Truman your husband ? Aur. No , by my troth , Sir , I thank God. Tru. p. These are fine tricks ; delicate , dainty tricks . Sirrah , how durst you Sirrah ? — and for your minion — marry come up , marry a Chamber-maid ? Well , Captain , this was your plotting . You said indeed you 'd make a Iethron o' me : y' ha' don 't indeed ; I thank you , Captain Blade , 't is well . Out o' my sight , Sir , with your minion there , I say out o' my sight . Ha! am I fool'd thus ? I shall make some repent it , I hold a groate on 't . Bla. D' ye hear , Mr. Truman — Tru. p. Yes , Sir , I do hear ; and I will not hear if it please me , Sir ; but some body shall hear o' this Captain . But , Captain , you 're deceived , this is not a lawful marriage . Luc. Pray , hear me all ; for I shall tell those things That will appease your wrath , and move your wonder . I 've married Truman , and I will enjoy him , And he will love me , I am sure he will ; For I am Lucia , the much injure'd Lucia . Omn. Ha! Luc. The habit of a servant I put on , That I might finde who 't was I ought to pardon , For all the wrongs done to me . I have found it , Cosen , you know I have , and I forgive ' um . Aur. Then all my plots are spoil'd . Pardon me , Cousin : And , Mr. Truman , know you have a wife That is as pure and innocent as the thoughts Of dying Saints ? 'T was I that with the veile Deceiv'd you in the Prison ; it was I , Who in that veile contracted my self to Puny . Forgive me both ; I do confess I 've wrong'd you , But Heav'n has seen you righted . Tru. f. O this blest hour ! What shall I say ? I know thou art all goodness , But canst thou pardon , Lucia , that great sin , That high and mighty sin which I have done In doubting of thy faith ? I fear thou canst not . Luc. I do desire no more then that I may , Deserve your better opinion , Sir , hereafter . And uncle for your poyson — Bla. Speak no more of it , I do confess it , Neece ; and shall most willingly Surrender up the charge of your Estate . It hath pleas'd Heav'n to restore me mine own By marriage with this Widow . Tru. p. Ha , ha , ha ! To see how things are come about ! I thought Dick would not be such a fool as to marry one that he knew not . He knew her well enough , I 'll warrant you . How do you , Captain ? I was somewhat rash : I 'm an old man , alas . Bla. Cutter , and M. Dogrel , you that sneak there ; You 're precious witnesses . But no more o' that . You have been to blame , Aurelia . But 't is past . We want your husband here : Where 's Puny ? Pun. ( I 'll venture out amongst ' um . ) Enter Puny . Nay ne'er laugh at me ; I know I look like a door without hinges . A pox upon you , Dogrel ; are you there ? Bla. What ? my son Iohn ? d' ye know this Gentlewoman ? Aur. D' ye know this piece of gold , Sir , which you broke ? Pun. Hum ? Yes 'faith , 't is the same : thou art my Cynthia , wench , my Endymion : we 'll be married presently . O for a witty Parson to marry us two Wi●s ! Dog. Slife , one , two , three , i'faith four matches here at one time ! What accursed fortune●s this ! there 's three feasts lost : they 'll dine all together . Pun I will not kiss thee , my little magazine , till I have washt my face Ha , M. Dogrel , hast thou got no Spouse too ? Dog. The thrice three Sisters are my wives . Pun. Well , because thou art a Poet , and my Jews-trump and I are Wits , thou shalt eat and drink at my pavilion always . Aur. You shall ha' wine and serge . D' ye remember , Dogrel ? Dog. Thank you : but I 'll ne'er lye for you again . Bla. Come , let 's all in to dinner . The Epilogue . THe Play is done , great Prince , which needs must fear , Though you brought all your fathers mercies here , It may offend your Highness , and we 've now Three hours done treason here , for ought we know . But pow'r your Grace can above Nature give ; It can give pow'r to make abortives live . In which if our bold wishes should be crost , 'T is but the life of one poor week that 's lost . Though it should fall beneath your present scorn , It could not die sooner then it was born . FINIS .