Wit and loyalty reviv'd in a collection of some smart satyrs in verse and prose on the late times / by Mr. Abraham Cowley, Sir J. Berkenhead, and the ingenious author of Hudibras, &c. Cowley, Abraham, 1618-1667. 1682 Approx. 90 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 20 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A34836 Wing C6697 ESTC R35660 15509519 ocm 15509519 103623 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A34836) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 103623) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1148:57) Wit and loyalty reviv'd in a collection of some smart satyrs in verse and prose on the late times / by Mr. Abraham Cowley, Sir J. Berkenhead, and the ingenious author of Hudibras, &c. Cowley, Abraham, 1618-1667. Birkenhead, John, Sir, 1616-1679. Butler, Samuel, 1612-1680. [6], 35 p. For W. Davis, London printed : 1682. First two parts have special title-pages. Reproduction of original in the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign Campus). Library. The puritan and papist, a satyr / by Mr. Abraham Cowley -- The assembly-man / written by Sir John Birkenhead in the year 1647 -- A proposal humbly offered for the farming of liberty of conscience / written in the year 1663 by the author of Hudibras. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Political satire, English. 2002-10 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-12 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-12 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Wit and Loyalty REVIV'D , In a Collection of some smart SATYRS In Verse and Prose on the late TIMES . By Mr. Abraham Cowley , Sir J. Berkenhead , and the Ingenious Author of Hudibras , &c. Victrix Causa Deis Placuit sed victa Poetis . LONDON Printed , for W. Davis . 1682. THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER . I Have been often tempted to admire , since the Publishing Mr. Cowley's Papers , by what fate so excellent a Satyr upon the Times , and so worthy the Author , as the Puritan and Papist , should escape the ingenious Publisher , when at the same time his Copy upon Brutus , and that upon the Bishop of Lincoln's enlargement from the Tower have met with the good fortune to have place there , although they are in some sort , Satyrs upon himself and so unworthy his Name , and the good Company they appear in : that considering the Loyalty of their Arguments , we might , it may be have expected them in Mr. Waller's Works rather than Mr. Cowley's ; and from thence to have been purged by the Wisdom of later and more correct Editions of his Book , together with the Penegyrick to Oliver , and the Elegy on his Death , called the Storm . Both which seem , in a manner , to have inherited the Lot , no less than the Guilt of the Usurper , upon whom they were made : the former , claiming the Laurel , but that it wanted abetter Title to the crown : and the latter , to have so insensibly disappeared on a sudden as if by a resembling fate , it had been snatcht away in the same Storm in which the Tyrant himself was lost . Whether it were an Exeess of Modesty in Mr. Cowly that condemned it as an Abortive , and so , though it had appeared formerly in Print to have no place in his Collection , but to take its fortune with the Blossoms and unripe follies of his Youth : Or whether it were an Excess of good Nature in him that sentenced it to suffer , merely as it was a Satyr and so lookt upon as a piece of persecution , and like Draco's Laws , written in Blood , as we find the best Natures inclined to check and be angry at themselves when once the fit of Choler is over ; I say whether of these were the cause of suppressing it I shall not now presume to examine . But because under the Color of doing Justice to the Satyre , I may be thought to have done Wrong to Mr. Cowly , and only to have borrowed his Name ; to enhance the value of what comes with it , it s own recommendation . To remove such doubts , I shall observe in its Justification , that it first c●me out in the Year 1643. what time he lay at St. Johns Colledge in Oxford , Signed with A. C. though to make the Cypher plainer yet , I doubt not when the Satyr is dully considered , to those that can Judge aright , it will spell his entire name at length . For as the Proportions , the Posture or Design serue as never failing Marks to such as are curious to discern the m●st●rly Hand of the inimitable Titian , or Vandike . So in the adm●red Pieces of our great Masters of Writing , there want not the like bold strokes and life - touches in the Style that evidently betray whose Originals they are . In so much as to convince any who are their Authors , when they discover themselves by their own Light , is altogether , as needless is to hold a Candle to the Sunne . If we believe Horace in his Art of Poetry ( surely in his own Art Horace is as much to be believed , as Aristotle in Philosophy ) he reckons ●●t amongst the Felicities of a good Style , that it cannot be imitated when he says . Ex noto fictum Carmen sequar , ut sibi quivis . Sperat idem , sudat multum , frustraque laboret . Ausus idem — Which is finely render'd by the E. of Roscomon . Begin with Truth , then give invention scope , And if your Style be Natural and smooth , All men will try , and hope to Write as well ; And ( not without much pains ) be undeceiv'd . Now if this be justly esteemed a Master-Piece of Poetry , that what it delivers comes the nearest to our understandinge , at the same time as it is removed the farthest from our imitation , I am very well assured , I shall be acquitted from all suspition of cheating the world with any thing under Mr. Cowley's Name which hath no Title to it , since his Style is no less difficult to Counterfeit , than it is easie to conceive . I cannot think it any reproach to Mr. Cowly for him to walk abroad into the world in good company ; the other two Gentlemen being , both of them celebrated Wits , and of the Loyal party engag'd , in the same interest , and active in the same Cause with himself . And it is no new thing for Wits and Cavaliers , to find out one another and associat together Indeed they were men whose Mirth was so innocent , whose Wit so regular , and whose Conversation so entertaining and agreeable as I cannot but persuade my self , that they themselves would have made choice of no other Company when they were Living , as the Reader can embrace no better , amongst the Dead . The Puritan and the Papist , a Satyr first published in the year 1643. by Mr. Cowley . The Character of the Assembly-man , first printed in the year 1648. by Sir J. Berkenhead . Proposals for farming out Liberty of Conscience , first published in the year 1663. by the ingenious Author of Hudibras . THE PURITAN AND THE PAPIST . A SATYR , By Mr. Abraham Cowley . LONDON Printed for W. Davis , 1681 / 2. THE PURITAN AND THE PAPIST . A SATYR . SO two rude Waves , by Storms together thrown , Roar at each other , Fight , and then grow One. Religion is a Circle ; men contend , And Run the Round in dispute without end . Now in a Circle who go contrary , Must , at the last , meet of necessity . The Roman Cath'lique to advance the Cause Allows a Lye , and calls it Pia Fraus . The Puritan approves and does the same , Dislikes nought in it but the Latin name . He flows with his devises , and dares Lye In very deed , in truth , and verity . He whines , and sighs out Lies , with so much ruth , As if he griev'd , 'cause he could ne'er speak truth . Lies have possest the Press so , as their due , 'T will scarce I fear , henceforth Print Bibles true . Lies for their next Strong Fort ha'th ' Pulpit chose , There they throng out at ' th Preachers Mouth , and Nose . And how ee'r gross , are certain to beguile The poor Book-turners of the middle Isle . Nay to th' Almightie's self they have been bold To lye , and their blasphemous Minister told , They might say false to God ; for if they were Beaten , he knew 't not , for he was not there . But God , who their great thank fulness did see , Rewards them straight with another Vict'rie , Just such an one as Brainford ; and san's doubt Will weary er 't be long their gratitude out . Not all the Legends of the Saints of old , Not vast Baronius , nor sly Surius , hold Such plenty of apparent Lies , as are In your own Author , Jo. Browne Cleric . Par. Besides what your small Poets , said or writ ; Brookes , Strode , and the Baron of the Saw-pit : With many a Mental Reservation . You 'll maintain Liberty , Reserv'd [ your owne . ] For th'publique good the sums rais'd you 'll disburse ; Reserv'd , [ The greater part for your own Purse . ] You 'll root the Cavaliers out , every man ; Faith , let it be reserv'd here ; [ If ye can . ] You 'l make our gracious CHARLES , a Glorious King ; Reserv'd [ in Heav'n , ] for thither ye would bring His Royal Head ; the only secure Roome For Kings , where such as you , will never come . To keep th'Estates o'th'Subjects you pretend ; Reserv'd [ in your own Trunkes ] You will defend The Church of England , 't is your Protestation ; But that 's New-England , by a small Reservation . Pow'r of Dispensing Oaths the Papists claime ; Case hath got leave of God to do the same . For you do hate all Swearing so , that when You 've Sworn an Oath , ye break it streight agen . A Curse upon you ! which hurts most these Nations , Cavaliers Swearing , or your Protestations ? Nay , though Oaths be by you so much abhorr'd , Y'allow God damn me in the Puritan Lord. They keep the Bible from Lay-men , but ye Avoid this , for ye have no Layety . They , in a forraigu and , unknown Tongue pray , You in an unknown Sence your prayers say : So that this difference 'twixt ye does ensue , Fools understand not them , not Wise men you . They an unprofitable zeal have got , Of Invocating Saints that hear them not . 'T were well you did so , nought may more be fear'd In your fond Prayers , than that they should be heard . To them your Non-sence well enough might pass , They'd ne'er see that i' th' Divine Looking-Glass . Nay , whether you 'd worship Saints is not known , For y'have as yet of your Religion none . They by good-works think to be justifi'd , You into the same Error deeper slide ; You think by Works too justifi'd to be , And those ill Works ; Lies , Treason , Perjurie . But oh ! your Faith is mighty ; that hath been , As true Faith ought to be , of things unseen . At Wor'ster , Brainford and Edg-hill , we see , Only by Faith y'have got the Victory . Such is your Faith , and some such unseen way The publique Faith at last your debts will pay . They hold free-will ( that nought thier Souls may ▪ bind ) As the great Priviledge of all Mankind . You 're here more mod'rate , for 't is your intent , To make 't a Priv'ledg , but of Parliament . They forbid Priests to marry ; you worse do , Their marriage you allow , yet punish too : For you 'd make Priests so poor , that upon all Who marry , scorn and beggery must fall . They a bold pow'r o'er sacred Scriptures take , Blot out some Clauses , and some new ones make . Your great Lord Jesuite Brookes publiquely said , ( Brookes whom too little learning hath made Mad ) That to correct the Creed ye should do well , And blot out Christs descending into Hell. Repent wild man , or you 'll ne'er change , I fear , The sentence of your own descending there : Yet modestly they use the Creed , for they Would take the Lord's Pray'r Root and Branch away . And wisely said a Levite of our nation , The Lord's Pray'r was a Popish Innovation . Take heed , you 'll grant ere long it should be said , An 't be but to desire your Daily Bread. They keep the people , ignorant , and you . Keep both the people , and your selves so too , They blind obedienee and blind duty teach ; You blind Rebellion and blind faction preach . Nor can I blame you much , that ye advance That which can onely save ye , Ignorance ; Though Heaven be praised , t' has oft been proved well Your Ignorance is not Invincible . Nay such bold lies to God himself ye vaunt , As if you 'd fain keep him too , Ignorant . Limbus and Purgatory they believe , For lesser Sinners , that is , I conceive . Malignants only ; you this Trick does please , For the same Cause ye've made new Limbuses , Where we may lye imprison'd long ere we A Day of Judgment in your Courts shall see . But Pym can , like the Pope , with this dispence ; And for a Bribe , deliver Souls from thence . Their Councils claim Infallibility , Such must your Conventicle Synod be : And Teachers from all parts of th' Earth ye call , To make 't a Council , Occumenical . They sev'ral times appoint from Meats t' abstain ; You now for the Irish Wars , a Fast ordain : And that that Kingdom might be sure to Fast , Ye take a Course to Starve them all at last . Nay though ye keep no Eves , Fridays , nor Lent , Not to dress Meat on Sundays you 're Content ; Then you Repeat , Repeat , and Pray , and Pray ; Your Teeth keep Sabbath , and Tongues , Working day . They preserve Reliques ; you have few or none , Unless the Clo● sent to John Pym by one . Or Holl●ses Rich Widdow , She who carry'd A Relique in her Wombe , before she marry'd . They in Succeeding Peter take a Pride ; So do you ; for your Master ye've deny'd . But chiefly Peter's Priviledge ye choose , At your own wills to Bind and to Unloose . He was a Fisherman ; you 'll be so too , When nothing but your Ships are left to you . He went to Rome , to Rome you Backward Ride , ( Though both your goings are by some denyed . ) Nor is 't a Contradiction , if we say , You go to Rome the quite Contrary way ; He dy'd o' th' Cross ; that death 's unusual now ; The Gallows is most lik't , and that 's for you . They love Church Musick , it offends your sence , And therefore ye have sung it out from thence , Which shews , if right your mind be understood , You hate it not as Musick but as Good. Your Madness makes you Sing as much as they Dance , who are bit with a Tarantula . But do not to your selves alas appear , The most Religious Traytors that eer ' were ; Because your Troopes Singing of Psalmes do goe ; There 's many a Traytor has marcht Holborn so . Nor was 't your wit this holy project bore ; Tweed and the Tyne has seen those Tricks before . They of strange Miracles and Wonders tell , You are your selves a kind of Miracle ; Even such a Miracle as in writ divine We read o' th' Devils hurrying down the Swine . They have made Images to speak , 't is said , You a dull Image have your Speaker made ; And that your bounty in offerings might abound , Y'have to that Idol giv'n six thousand pound , They drive out Devils they fay ; here ye begin To differ , I confess ; you let them in . They maintain Transubstantiation ; You by a Contrary Philosophers stone , To Transubstantiate Metalls have the skill ; And turn the Kingdoms Gold to Ir'n and Steel . I' th' Sacrament ye differ but 't is noted , Bread must be Flesh , Wine Blood , if e'rt be voted . They make the Pope their Head , y'exalt for him Primate and Metropolitane , Master Pym ; Nay White , who sits i' th' Infallible Chaire , And most infallably speaks Nonsence there : Nay Cromwel , Pury , Whistler , Sir John Wray , He who does say , and say , and say , and say . Nay Lowry who does new Church-Gover'ment wish , And Prophesies , like Jonas , ' midst the Fish , Who can such various business wisely sway , Handling both Herrings and Bishops in one day . Nay all your Preachers Women , Boys , and Men , From Master Calamy to Mistress Ven , Are perfect Popes in their own Parish grown ; For to outdoe the story of Pope Jone : Your Women Preach too , and are like to be The Whores of Babylon , as much as She. They depose Kings by Force ; by Force you 'd do it , But first use fair means to persuade them to it . They dare kill Kings ; and 'twixt ye here 's the strife , That you dare shoot at Kings , to save their Life . And what 's the diff'rence , 'pray , whether he fall By the Popes Bull , or your Oxe General ? Three Kingdoms thus ye strive to make your own ; And like the Pope usurp a Triple Crown . Such is your Faith , such your Religion ; Let 's view your Manners now , and then I 've done . Your Cov'teousness let gasping Ireland tell , Where first the Irish Lands , and next ye sell The English Blood ; and raise Rebellion here , With that which should suppress , and quench it there . What mighty summs have ye squeez'd out o' th' City ? Enough to make 'em Poor , and something Witty. Excise , Loans , Contributions , Pole-moneys , Bribes , Plunder , and such Parl'ament Priv'ledges , Are words which you ne'er learnt in Holy Writ , 'Till th' Spirit and your Synod mended it . Where 's all the Twentieth part now which hath been Paid you by some , to forfeit the Nineteen ? Where 's all the Goods distrain'd , and Plunders past ? For you 're grown wretched , pilfring knaves at last ; Descend to Brass and Pewter ; till of late , Like Midas , all ye toucht , must needs be Plate . By what vast hopes is your Ambition fed ? 'T is writ in Blood and may be plainly read . You must have Places and the Kingdom sway ; The King must be a Ward to your Lord Say. Your Inn'cent Speaker to the Rolles must rise , Six thousand Pound hath made him proud and wise . Kimbolton for his Fathers place doth call ; Would be like him ; would he were , Face and all . Isaack would always be Lord Mayer and so , May always be , as much as he is now . For the Five Members , they so richly thrive , That they would always be , but Members Five . Only , Pym doth his Natural right enforce , By th' Mothers side he 's Master of the Horse , Most shall have Places by these pop'lar tricks , The rest must be content with Bishopricks . For 't is against Superstition your intent , First to root out that great Church Ornament , Money and Lands ; your Swords alas are drawn , Against the Bishop , not his Cap , or Lawn . O let not such lewd Sacriledge begin , Tempted by Henrie's rich succesful Sin. Henry the monster King of all that age ; VVild in his Lust , but wilder in his Rage . Expect not you his Fate , though Hotham thrives In imitating Henrie's tricks for Wives Nor fewer Churches hopes than Wives to see Buried , and then their Lands his own to be . Ye boundless Tyrants , how do you outvy , Th' Athenians Thirty , Romes Decemviry ? In Rage ' Injustice ' Cruelty as far Above those men , as you in Number are . What Mist'ries of Iniquity doe we see ? New Prisons made to defend Libertie ; Our Goods forc'd from us for propri'ti's sake ; And all the Real Non-scence which ye make . Ship-money was unjustly ta'en , ye say ; Unjustlier far , you take the Ships away . The High Commission , you call'd Tyranny , Ye did ; Good God! what is the High-Committy ? Ye said that gifts , and bribes preferments bought , By money and blood too , they now are sought . To the Kings will the Laws men strove to draw ; The Subjects will , is now become the Law. 'T was fear'd a New Religion would begin ; All new Religions , now are entred in . The King Delinquents to protect did strive ; What Clubs , Pikes , Halberts , Lighters , sav'd the Five ? You think the Parl'ment , like your State of Grace , What ever sins men do , they keep their Place . Invasions then were fear'd against the State. And Strode swore last year would be eighty-eight . You bring in Forraign Aid to your designs ; First those great Forraign Forces of Divines , With which Ships from America were fraught . Rather may stinking Tobacco still be brought . From thence , I say : next ye the Scots invite , Which ye term Brotherly assistance right ; For England you intend with them to share : They who alas ! but younger Brothers are , Must have the Moneis for their Portion ; The Houses and the Lands will be your Owne . We thank ye for the wounds which we endure , Whilst scratches and slight pricks ye seek to cure . We thank ye for true real fears at last , Which free us from so many false ones past . We thank ye for the Blood which fats our Coast , As a just debt paid to great Strafford's Ghoast . ) We thank ye for the ills Receiv'd , and all Which yet by your good care , in time we shall . We thank ye , and our gratitude's as great As yours , when you thankt ' God for being beat . The Character of an HOLY-SISTER She that can sit three Sermons in aday , And of those three , scarce bear three Words away , She that can Rob her Husband , to repair A Budget Priest that Noses a long Prayer . She that with Lamb-black , purifies her shooes , And with half Eyes and Bible , softly goes ; She that her Pockets with Lay-Gospel stuffs , And edifies her looks with little Ruffs . She that loves Sermons as she does the rest , Still standing stiff , that longest are the best . She that will Ly , yet swear , she hates a Lyer , Except it be the man , that will Lye by her . She that at Christenings , thirsteth for more Sack , And draws the broadest handkerchief for Cake . She that sings Psalms devoutly next the street , And beats her maid , i th' kitching where none see 't . She that will sit in shop for five hours space , And register the sins of all that pass . Damn at first sight , and proudly dares to say , That none can possibly be sav'd , but they . That hangs Religion in a naked Ear , And judge mens hearts , according to their Hair. That could afford to doubt , who wrote best sence , Moses or Dod on the Commandements . She that can sigh and cry , Queen Elizabeth , Rail at the Pope , and scratch out sudden death . And for all this can give no reason why , This is an holy sister verily . THE Assembly-man ; Written by Sir John Birkenhead ; in the Year 1647. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . i. e. He seditiously stirs up men to fight : he 'll teach others the way whereof himself is most ignorant ; and persuades men to take an Oath , because himself had sworn it before . LONDON , Printed for W. Davis , Anno Dom. 1681 / 2. READER , THis Pamphlet was torn from me by those who say they cannot rob , because all is theirs . They found it where it slept many years forgotten ; but they ' waken'd it , and made false Transcripts . They Exciz'd what they liked not ; so mangled and Reform'd , that 't was no Character of an Assembler , but of themselves . A Copy of that Reformling had crept to the Press . Iseiz'd and stopt it , unwilliug to Father other mens sins . Here therefore you have it ( as 't was first scribled ) without addition of a syllable ; I wish I durst say here 's nothing lopt off . But men and manners are chang'd , at least they say so . If yet this trifle seem born with teeth , you know whose hands were knuckle-deep in the blood of that renouned Chancellor of Oxon ( Arch-bishop LAUD ) though when they cut up that great Martyr , his two greatest Crimes were the two greatest Glories Great Britain can boast of , St. Paul's Church and the Oxford Library . Where you find no coherence , remember this Paper hath suffer'd Decimation : Better times have made it worse , and that 's no fault of J. Berkenhead . THE Assembly-man . AN Assembler is part of the States ' Chattels : nor Priest , nor Burgess , but a Participle that shark's upon both . He was chosen , as Sir Nathaniel , because he knew least of all his Profession : not by the Votes of a Whole Diocese , but by one whole Parliament-man . He ha's sate four years towards a new Religion , but in the interim left none at all : as his Masters , the Commons had along Debate whether Canáles or no Candles , but all the mean while sate still in the Dark : And therefore when the Moon quits her oldLight , and has acquir'd no new , Astronomeres say she is in her Synodes . Shew me such a Picture of Judas as the Assembler , ( a griping , false , Reforming Brother ; rail's at Waste spent upon the Anointed ; persecutes most those Hands which Ordain'd him ; brings in men with swords and staves ; and all for Money from the Honourable Scribes and Pharisees : ) One Touch more ( a Line tyed to his Name-sake Elder-tree ) had made him Judas , Root and Branch . This Assembly at first was a full Century ; which should be reckon'd as the Scholiast's Hecatomb , by their Feet , not Heads : or count them by Scores , for in things without Heads Six score go to an Hundred . They would be a New Septuagint ; the Old translated Scripture out of Heberw into Greek , these turn in to four shillings a day ? And and these Assemblers were begot in one day , as Hercules's fifty Bastards all in one night . Their first List was sprinkled with some names of Honour , ( Dr. Sanderson , Dr. Morley-Dr . Hammond , &c , ) But these were Divines ; too worthy to mix with such scandalous Ministers , and would not Assemble without the Royal Call. Nay , the first List had one Archbishop , one Bishop , and an Half , ( for Bishop Brownrigg was then but Elect. ) But now their Assembly ( as Philosophers think the World ) consists of Atoms ; petty small Levites , whose Parts are not perceptible . And yet these inferior postern Teachers have intoxicated England ( for a man sometimes grow's drunk by a Glister . ) When they all meet , they shew Beasts in Asrick by promiscuous coupling engender Monsters . Mr Selden visit's them ( as Persians use ) to see wild Asses fight : when the Commons have tyr'd him with their new Law , these Bretheren refresh him with their mad Gospel : They lately were gravell'd 'twixt Jerusalem and Jerico ; they knew not the distance 'twixt those two places ; one cry'd twenty miles , another ten , 't was concluded seven , for this reason , that Fishwas brought from Jericho to Jerusalem market : Mr Selden smil'd and said perhaps the Fish , was salt Fish and so stopp'd their mouths . Earl Philip goes thither to hear them spend ; when he heard them toss their National , Provincial , Classical , Congregational ; he swore damnably , that a pack of good Dogs made better Musick : His Allusion was porper , since the Elder 's Maid had a four-legg'd Husband . To speak truth , this Assembly is the two Houses Tiring-room where the Lords and the Commons put on their Visards and Masques of Religion . And their Honors have so sifted the Church , that at last they have found the Bran of the Clergy . Yet such poor Church-menders must Reform and shuffle : though they find Church Government may a thousand wayes be changd for the worse , but not one way for the better . These have lately publish'd Annotations on the Bible , where their first Note ( on the word CREATE ) is a Libel against Kings for creating of Honors . Their Annotation on Jacob's two Kids , is , that two Kids are too much for one man's supper : but he had ( say they ) but one Kid and the other made Sauce . They observe upon Herod , what a Tyrant he was , to kill Insants under two years old , without giving them legal Trial , that they might speake for themselves . Commonly they follow the Geneva Margin , as those Sea-men who understood not the Compass crept a long the Shore . But I hear they threaten a secoud Edition , and in the interim thrust forth a paultry Catechism , which expounds Nine Commandements , and Eleven Articles of the Creed . Of late they are much in love with Chronograms , because ( if possible ) they are duller than Anagrams ; O how they have torn the poor Bishops names to pick out the number 666 ! little dreaming that a whole Bakers dozen of their own Assembly have that beastly number in each of their Names , and that as exactly as their Solemn League and Covenant consist's of 666 words . But though the Assembler's Brains are Lead , his Countenance is Brass ; for he damned such as held two benefices , while himself has four or five , besides his Concubine Lecture . He is not against Pluralities , but Dualities ; He says it is unlawful to have two of his own , though four of other mens ; and observes how the Hebrew word sor Life has no singular number . Yet it is some relief to a sequestred person to see two Assemblers snarl for his Tithes ; for of all kind of Beasts none can match an Assembler but an Assembler . He never enters a Church by the Door , but clambers up through a Window of Scquestration , or steals in through Vaults and Cellars by Clandestine Contracts with an Expecting Patron . He is most sure no Law can hurt him , for Laws dyed in England the year before the Assembler was born . The best way to hold him , is ( as our King Richard bound the King of Cyprus ) in silver chains . He loves to discourse of the New Jerusalem , because her streets are of fine Gold ; and yet could like London as well , were Cheapside paved with the Philosopher's stone . Nay , he would say his Prayers with Beads , if he might have a Set made of all Diamonds : This , this is it which tempts him to such mad Articles against the Loyal Clergy , whom he dresses as he would have them appear ; just as the Ballad of Dr. Faustus brings forth the Devil in a Friars weed . He accused one Minister , for saying the blessed Virgin was the Mother of God , ( 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , as the Ancients call her . ) Another he charged for a common Drunkard , whom all the Country knows has drunk nothing but Water these 26 years . But the Assembler himself can drink Widows Tears though their husbands are not dead . Sure , if Paracelsus's Doctrine were true , ( that to eat creatures alive will perpetuate man's life ) the Assembler were imortal , for he swallows quick Men , Wives , and Children ; and devours Lives as well as Livings , as if he were born in that Pagan Province where None might marry till he had Killed twelveChristians . This makes him kneel to Lieutenant General Cromwel ( as Indians to the Devil ; ) for he saw how Oliver first threw — , then — and can with a wink do as much for — : Like Milo in the Olympicks , by practising on a Calf grew strong enough for a Bull , and could with ease give a lift to an Asse . The great Turk was sending his Ambassador , to congratulate the Assemblies Proceedings against the Christians ; He Ordered them Thanks for Licencing his Alcoran to be printed in English ; but hearing Ottoman Cromwel had talked of marching to the Walls of Constantinople , that Embassy was stopt . The only difference 'twixt the Assembler and a Turk , is , that one plants Religion by the ●ower of the Sword , and the other by the power of the Cymeter . Nay , the greatest strise in their whole Conventicle , is who shall do worst ; for they all intend to make the Church : but a Sepulchre , having not only Plunder'd but Anatomiz'd all the true Clergy ; whose torment is hight'ned in being destroyed by such dull instruments ; as the Prophet Isaiah was sawn to pieces with a wooden Saw. The Assembler wondèrs that the King and his Friends live still in hope ; he thinks them all in St. Clemens's case , drown'd with an Anchor tyed about his neck . He has now got power to visit the Universities ; where these blinking Visitors look on eminent Scholars ( as the Blind-man who saw men like Trees ) as Timber growing within the Root-and-Branch Ordinance . The Assembler has now lest Scholars so poor , they have scarce Rags wherewith to make Paper . A man would think the Two houses intend to transport the Universities , since they load Asses with Colledge-Revenues . For though these Assemblers made themselves Heads , they are rather Hands of Colledges , for they all are takers ; and take all . And yet they are such creeping Tyrants , that Scholars are Expell'd the two Universities , as the old Thracians , forc'd from their Countrey by Rats and Mice . So that Learning now is so much advanced , as Arrowsmith's Glass-eye sees more then his natural . They never admit a good scholar to a Benefice , for the Assemblies Balance is the Lake of Sodom , where Iron swims and Feathers sink . Their Divinity-Disputations are with Women or Lay-men ; and 't is only on one Question ( Episcopacy ) where the Assembler talks all that he and his friends can say , ( though his best medium to prove Presbyters more antient than Bishops , is , that Scribes , Pharisees , Priests and Elders where before the Apostols ; ) Yet if a Scholar or good Argument come , he flies them as much as if they were his Text. This made him curse Dr. Steward , Dr. Lancy and Dr. Hammond , and had he not had more Brass in his Face than in his Kitchin , he had hang'd himself at Uxbridge , and ended with that Treaty . For he has naught of Logick , but her clutch'd fist , and rail's at Philosophy as Beggars do at Gentlemen . He has very bad luck when he deals in Philologie , as one of them ( and that no mean man ) who in his preface to the Reader , sayes , that St. Paul had read Eustathius upon Homer , though the Apostle dyed a thousand years before Eustathius was born . The Assembers Dyet is strangely different , for he dines wretchedly on dry Bread at Westminster ; four Assemblers for 13 pence : But this sharpens and Whets him for supper , where he feeds gratis with his City-Landlord , to whom he brings a huge Stomach and News ; for which Cramm'd Capons cram him . He screws into Families where is some rich Daughter or Heir ; but whoever takes him into their bosom , will dye like Cleopatra . VVhen it rains he is Coach'd ( a Classis of them together ) rouling his Eyes to mark who beholds him . His shortest things are his hair and his Cloack . His hair is cut to the figure of 3 ; two high Cliffs run up his Temples , whose Cap of shorn hair shoots down his Forehead , with Creeks indented , where his Ears ride at Anchor . Had this false Prophet been carryed with Habbakuk , the Angel had caught fast hold of his Ears , and led him as he leads his Auditory . His Eyes are part of his Tithe at Easter , which he boyles at each Sermon . He has two Mouths , his Nose is one , for he speaks through both . His hands are not in his Gloves but his Gloves in his Hands , for 'twixt sweatings that is , Sermons , he handles little else , except his dear Mammon . His Gown ( I mean his Cloak ) reaches but his pockets : when he rides in that mantle , with a Hood on his shoulders and a hat above both , is he not then his own Man of sin with the Triple Crown ? you would swear some honest Carpenter dress'd him , and made him the Tunnel of a Country Chimney . His Doublet and Hose are of dark Blew , a grain deeper than pure Coventry : but of late he 's in Black , since the Loyal Clergy were persecuted into Colors . His two longest things are his Nayls and his Prayer . But the cleanest thing about him is his Pulpit-Cushion , for he still beats the Dust out of it . To do him right , commonly he wears a pair of good Lungs , whereby he turns the Church into a Belfry , for his Clapper makes such a Din , you cannot hear the Cymball for the Tinkling . If his pulpit be large he walks his Round , and speaks as from a Garrison , ( his own Neck is Palizado'd with a Ruff ) VVhen he first enters his prayer before Sermon , he winks and gasps , and gasps and winks , as if he prepared to preach in another world , He seems in a slumber , then in a Dream ; then rumbles a while ; at last sounds forth , and then throws so much Dirt and Non-sence towards Heaven , as he durst not offer to a Member of Parliament . Now because Scripture bids him not curse the King in his thought , he does it in his Pulpit by word of mouth ; though heaven strike him Dumb in the very Act , as it did Hill at Cambridge , who while he pray'd ; Depose Him , O Lord , who would depose us , was made the dumb Devil . This ( one would think ) should gargle his foul mouth . For his only hope why God should hear him against the King , is the Devil himself ( that great Assembler ) was heard against Job . His whole prayer is such an irrational Bleating , that ( without a Metaphor ) 't is the Calves of his Lipps : And commonly 't is larded with fine new words , as Savingable , Muchly , Christ-Jesusnes , &c. and yet he has the face to preach against Prayer in an unknown Tongue . Sometimes he is founder'd , and then there is such hideous Coughing : But that is very seldom , for he can glibly run over Non-sence , as an empty Cart trundles down a Hill. VVhen the King girt round the Earl of Essex at Lestyth●ell , an Assembler complained that God had drawn his People into the Wilderness , and told Him , He was bound in honour to feed them ; for , Lord , said he , since thou givest them no Meat , we pray thee , O Lord , to give them no Stomachs . He tore the Liturgie , because , forsooth , it shackled his Spirit , ( he would be a Devil without a circle ; ) and now if he see the Book of Common-prayer , the fire sees it next , as sure as the Bishops were burned who compiled it . Yet he has mercy on Hopkins and Sternhold , because their Me●●ers are sung without Authority ( no Statute , Canon , or Injunction at all , ) only like himself , first crept into private houses , and then into Churches . Mr. Rous moved those Me●ters might be sequestred , and his own new Rithmes to enjoy the sequestration ; but was refused because John Hopkins was as ancient as John Calvin ; Besides , when Rous stood forth for his Trial , Robin Wisdom was found the better Poet. 'T is true , they have a Directory , but 't is good for nothing but Adoniram , who sold the Original for 400 l. And the Book must serve both England and Scotland as the Directory Needle point's North and South . The Assembler's only ingenuity is , that he prays for an ex tempore Spirit , since his Conscience tells him he has no Learning . His prayer thus ended , he then looks round , to observe the Sex of his Congregation , and accordingly turns the Apostle's Men , Fathers , and Brethren , into Dear Brethren and Sisters . For , his usual Auditory is most-part Female ; and as many Sisters flock to him , as at Paris on Saint Margarets day , when all come to Church that are , or hope to be with child that year . He divides his Text as he did the Kingdom , makes one part fight against ▪ another : or as Burges divides the Dean of Paul's House , not into parts , but Tenements , that is , so as 't will yield most money . And properly they are Tenements ; for each part must be dwelt upon , though himself comes near it but once a Quarter ; and so his Text is rather let out than Divided . Yet sometimes ( to shew his skill in Keckerman , ) he Butchers a Text , cuts it ( just as the Levite did his Concubine ) into many dead parts , breaking the sence and words all to pieces , and then they are not divided , but shattered like the Splinters of Don Quixot's Lance. If his Text be to the occasion , his first Dish is Apples of Gold , in Pictures of Silver ; yet tells not the People what Pictures those were . HisSermon and prayer grin at each other , the one is Presbyterian , the other Independent , for he preaches up the Classes , yet prays for the Army . Let his Doctrine and Reason be what they will , his Use is still to save his Benefice and augment his Lecture . He talks much of Truth , but abhorrs Peace , lest it strip him as naked as Truth ; and therefore hates a personal Treaty , unless with a Sister . He has a rare simpering way of expressions he calls a Marryed Couple Saints that enjoy the mistery ; & a man Drunk , is a Brother full of the Creature . Yet at Wedding Sermons he is very familiar , & ( like that Picture in the Church at Leyden ) shews Adam & Eve without Figleaves . AtFunerals he gives infallibleSigns that the Party is gone to Heaven ; but his chief Mark of a child of God , is to be good to God's Ministers . And hence it is he calls his Preachment Manna , fitted not to his hearers Necessity , but their Palat ; for 't is to feed himself , not them . If he chance to tire , he refreshes himself with the Peoples Hum , as a Collar of Bells to chear up a Pack-horse . 'T is no wonder he 'll preach , but that any will hear him , ( and his constant Auditors do but shew the length of their Ears ; ) For he is such an 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , that to hear him makes good Scholars sick , but to read him is death . Yet though you heard him three hours he 'll ask a fourth , as the Beggar at Delph craves your Charity because he eats four pound of Bread at a Meal . 'T was from his Larum the Watch-makers learn'd their infinite Skrew . His Glass and Text are equaly handled , that is , once an hour : nay sometimes be sally's and never returns , and then we should leave him to the Company of Lorimers , for he must be held with Bit and Bridle . Who ever once has been at his Church can never doubt the History of Balaam . If he have got any new Tale or Expression , 't is easier to make stones speak than him to hold his peace . He hates a Church where there is an Eccho , for it Robs him of his dear Repetition , and confounds the Auditory as well as he . But of all Mortals I admire the Short-hand-men , who have the patience to write from his Mouth : had they the art to shorten it into Sense , they might write his whole Sermon on the back of their Nail . For his Invention consists in finding a way to speak nothing upon any thing ; and were he in the Grand Seignior's power , he would lodge him with his Mutes ; for Nothing and Nothing to purpose are all one . I wonder in conscience he can preach against Sleeping at his Opium-Sermons . He preaches indeed both in season and out of season ; for he rayl's at Popery ; when the Land is almost lost in Presbytery ; and would cry out Fire , Fire , in Noah's Flood . Yet all this he so acts with his Hands , that in this sence too his Preaching is an Handicraft . Nor can we complain that Plays are put down while he can preach ; save only his Sermons have worse sence and less truth . But he blew down the Stage and preach'd up the Scaffold . And very wisely , lest men should track him , and find where he pilfers all his best Simile's , ( the only thing wherein he is commendable , St Paul himself having cull'd Sentences from Menander's Thais , though 't was his worst , that is , unchast Comedy . ) Sometimes the Assembler will venture at the Original , and then ( with the translator of Don Quixot ) he mistakes Sobs and Sighs for Eggs and Collops . But commonly ( for want of Greek and Latin ) he learns Hebrew , and streight is illuminated ; that is , mad : his Brain is broke by a Brickbat cast from the Tower of Babel . And yet this empty windy Teacher has Lectur'd a War quite round the Kingdom : he has found a Circulation of blood for Destruction ( as famous Harvey for Preservation ) of Mankind . 'T was easie to foresee a great Mortality , when Ravens were heard in all Corporations . For , as Multitude of Froggs presage a Pestilence , so croaking Lecturers foretold an Assembly . Men come to Church , as the Great Alexander went to Sacrifice , led by Crows . You have seen a small Elder-tree grow in chinks and clefts of Church-walls , it seems rather a Weed than a Tree ; which , lend it growth , makes a Rent in the Wall , and throws down the Church . Is not this the Assembler ? grown from Schisms ( which himself begot , ) and if permitted , will make the Church but a Floor or Church-yard . Yet , for all this , he will be call'd Christ's Minister and Saint , as the Rebells against King John were the Army of God. Sure when they meet they cannot but smile ; for the dullest amongst them needs must know that they all cheat the people ; such gross , low impostors , that we die the death of the Emperor Claudius , poyson'd by Mushromes . The old Heretickshad Skill & Learning ( some excuse for a Seduced Church ; those were Scholars , but these Assemblers ; whose very Brains ( as Manichaeus's skin ) are stuff'd with Chaff . For they study little , & preach much , ever sick of a Diabetes : nor do they read , but weed Authors , picking up cheap & refuse Notes , that with Caligula they gather Cockle-shells , & with Domitian retire into theirStudie to catch Flies . At Fasts & Thanksgivings the Assembler is the State 's Trumpet ; for then he doth not preach , but is blown ; proclaims News very loud , the Trumpet and his Forehead being both of one Metall . ( And yet , good man , he still prays for Boldness . ) He hackneys out his Voice like a Cryer ; and is a kind of Spiritual Agitant , receives Orders , and spreads them . In earnest the States can't want this Tool , for without him the Saints would scarce Assemble . And if the Zealots chance to fly out , they are charm'd home by this Sounding Brass . There is not on earth a baser Sycophant ; for he ever is chewing some Vote or Ordinance ; and tells the People how savoury it is ; like him who lick'd up the Emperor's spittle and swore 't was sweet . Would the two Houses give him Cathedral Lands , he would prove Lords and Commons to be sure Divino : but should they offer him the Self-denying - Ordinance , he would justisie the Devil and curse them to their faces , ( his Brother Kirk-man did it in Scotland . ) 'T is pleasant to observe how finely they play into each others hands ; Marshall procures thanks to be given to Sedgwick ( for his great pains ) Sedgwick obtains as much for Marshall , and so they all pimp for one another . But yet ( to their great comfort be it spoken ) their whole seven years Sermons at Westminster are now to be sold in Fetter-lane and Precorner . Before a Battail the Assembler ever speaks to the Souldiers ; and the holding up of his hands must be as necessary as Moses's against the Ama●ekites : For he pricks them on , tells them that God loves none but the valiant : but when Bullets flye , Himself runs first , and then crys All the sons of Adam are cowards ! Were there any Metempsychosis his Soul would want a Lodging ; no single Beast could fit him , being wise as a Sheep and innocent as a Wolf. His sole comfort is , he cannot out-sin Hugh Peters : Sure , as Satan hath possessed the Assembler , so Hugh Peters hath possessed Satan , and is the Devil's Devil . He alone would fill a whole Herd of Gadarens . He hath suck'd Blood ever since he lay in the Butcher's Sheets : and now ( like his Sultan ) has a Shambles in his Countenance ; so crimson and torrid , you may there read how St. Laurence dyed , and think the three Children were delivered from his face . This is St. Hugh , who will Levell the Assembler , or the Devil 's an Asse . Yoke these Brethren ; and they two couple like a Sadducee and a Pharisae , on a Turk and a Persian , both Mahumetans . But the Assembler's deepest , highest Abomination , is his Solemn League and Covenant ; whereby he strives to damn or begger the whole Kingdom ; out-doing the Devil , who onely persuades , but the Assembler forces to perjury or starving And this ) whoever lives to observe it ) will one day sink both him and his Faction : for he and his Oath are so much one , that were he halfhang'd and let down again , his first word would be Covenant ! Covenant ! But I forget , a Character should be brief ( though tedious Length be his best Character . ) Therefore I 'll give ye ' ( what He denyes the Sequesterd Clergy ) but a fifth Part. For weigh him single , and he has the Pride of three Tyrants , the Forehead of six Gaolers and the Fraud of twelve Brokers . Or take him in the Bunch , and their whole Assemblyis a Club of Hypocrites , where six dozen of Schismatik spends two hours for four shillings apiece . FINIS A Proposal humbly offered for the Farming of Liberty of Conscience . Written in the year 1663. By the Author of Hudibress . SInce nothing can be dearer unto poor Christians than Liberty , or the free exercise of their Judgments and Conscience , which hath kindled that fire in the bowels of the three Kingdoms , which all the precious blood that hath been shed , during those late Troubles , hath not been able totally to extinguish : And since many of Us , whose Names are affixed , were so profitably instrumental in those late Combustions , as appears all along in our Sermons before the Honourable House of Parliament , in the Years 1642 , 43 , 44 , 45 , 46. in exciting the good people of this Nation , to seek and maintain their Christian Liberty , against all Prelatical and Antichristian Imposition whatsoever . And considering that the Little Finger of Apostasie from our first Love , would be a greater burden upon our Tender Consciences , than the Loyns of Episcopacy . We being more bound in Honour than Conscience , cannot totally desist ; neither need any man fear , or so much as suspect , lest any Inconvenience or Alteration should happen in Religion , by the great diversity of Opinions , Tongues , and Languages , tolerated amongst us , unless in the great Babel of Episcopacy , that may possibly be pulled down and destroyed by this our notable Confusion ; for , if the Gospel was wonderfully spread abroad by every mans speaking in his own Language , and the very Enemies thereof astonished , and miraculously wrought into a belief of it : how it is likely to be now obstructed in the free exercise of our Spiritual Gifts , with these our cloven and divided Tongues . And since many worthy persons from whom we might little expect it , but far less deserve it , out of their Goodness and Clemency , are pleased to encline to some Liberty , did not some persons , Aliens and Strangers to the Common-wealth of Israel , take up a Reproach against us , as Persons reprobated into an unpossibility of submission to Principles of Concord , Peace , and Order , in Church or State , never being able hitherto to come to any consistency amongst our selves ; The Ark of God having , for twenty years together , been exposed to by-ways , Streets , and worse places , for want of an Agreement amongst our own Brethren where to rest it , or how to entertain it . If this be our Case , and could we be sure of so much favour as Saul once desired of Samuel , that the Bishops would but honour us before the People , We would in a private Christian way , lay our hands upon our hearts , and acknowledge the hand of God , and the Justice thereof , in turning us out of his Vineyard , as wicked and unprofitable Servants , and to suffer the iniquity of our heels to overtake us ; crying out with reverend Mr. Calamy , The Ark of God is justly departed from us ; but being not yet thus assured , do hope the people will yet believe these to be only Bears skins lap'd about us by Episcopal hands : And therefore to the end that a Consistency , and Oneness of Judgment of the whole separating Brethren , and their Moderation , may be known unto all men , and that the World may know , that there is a Spirit of Rule and Government resting in us ; IT is humbly proposed to the Sole Power of granting Licences and Indulgences for Liberty of Conscience , within the Kingdom of England , Dominion of Wales , and Town of Barwick , may be vested in the Persons under named for the Term of seven years , under the Farm Rent of an hundred Thousand Pounds per Annum , to Commence from the twenty fifth day of March next , under such Rates and Qualifications as are hereafter specified . The Names of the Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience ; proposed on Monday , March 2. 1662. being the day of a private Fast , kept by Mr. Calamy , Mr. Baxter , and others , at Mr. Beal's house , near my Lord of Ely's Chappel in Holborn . Mr. Edmund Calamy . Mr. Titham late of Colchester . Mr. Philip Nye . Mr. Feak . Mr. Stanley of Dorchester . George Fox , Executor of the last Will and Testament of James Nailor deceased . Doctor Lazarus Seaman , Mr. Dell , late of Cambridge . Doctor Owen . Mr. Bryan , late of Coventry . Mr. Matthew Mead. Mr. John Coppin . Dr. Manton . Mr. Kiffen . The Executor of Mr. Venner , lately executed . Mr. Thomas Case . Mr. Reynor , late of Lincoln . Mr. Ralph Venning . Mr. Rogers . Mr. Benn , late of Dorchester . Mr. George Griffith , late of Charterhouse . The Executor of Hugh Peters , lately executed . Mr. George Newton , late of Taunton . Mr. Dan. Dyke , late of Hertfordshire . Mr. William Jenkins . Mr. Fisher , late of Kent . Doctor Thomas Goodwin . Mr. Hammond , late of New-castle . Mr. Peter Sterry . Mr. Bridges , late of Yarmouth . Mr. Joseph Carryll . Mr. Tombes , late of Lemster . Mr. Leegh , late of Lumbard-street . Mr. Mayo , late of Kingston . Mr. Joshua Sprigg . Mr. Henry Jessey . Mr. Newcomen of Dedham in Essex . Doctor Tuckney of Cambridge . Doctor Cornelius Burges . Mr. Zachary Crofton . Doctor Holmes . Mr. John Cann . Mr. Thomas Brooks . That the Persons aforesaid may be constituted Grand Commissioners , and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience , within the Kingdom of England , Dominion of Wales , and Town of Berwick , and may be impowred to set up one publick Office within the City of London , and to nominate and elect a convenient number of Registers , Clerks , and other Officers : And for the more certainty of all Certificates to be granted as is hereafter appointed , the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers may forme a common Seal to be known , and called by the common name of The publick Seal of the Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience , engraven , An Ass without Ears , Braying , with this Motto encircled , Stat pro ratione Libertas : And the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers , or any twenty four of them in the said Office assembled , may , from time to time , compound and agree for Liberty of Conscience , with any Person or Persons , under such Rates and Qualifications , as are hereafter specified . That the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers , or any twenty four of them , may constitute and appoint , under the Publick Seal of the Office , Sub Commissioners , and other Officers , for every County within the said Kingdom , not exceeding the number of twelve for each County , whereof , seven to be a Quorum , who may compound and agree for Liberty of Conscience , with any person or persons , Select Congregations , Cities , Towns Corporate , Parishes , Hamlets , and Villages , by the great , or otherwise , within their respective Countries , not exceeding the Rates hereafter mentioned . Rates to be observed in all Compositions for Liberty of Conscience . Per Annum . A Presbyterian Minister . 500 A Ruling Elder . 400 A Deacon . 300 A Hearer , Male or Female in Fellowship to all Ordinances . 200 A Common Hearer only 100 An Independant Pastor 5 A Teaching Elder 400 A Helper in Government 300 A Deacon 300 A Hearer Male or Female in Fellowship to all Ordinances . 200 A common Hearer only 100 A Baptist admitted to the Administration of all Ordinances 500 A preaching Assistant 400 An Elder in Office 300 A Deacon 200 A Hearer in Fellowship Male or Female to all Ordinances 200 A common Hearer only 100 A Fifth Monarcher admitted to hold forth 500 An Elder under the same Administration 300 A Deacon under the same Administration 300 A Hearer Male or Female in Fellowship according to the value of his or her Estate 2 s. per l. per annum . A common Hearer male or female according to the value of his or her Estate , 12 d. per l. per annum . A speaking male Quaker 400 A speaking female Quaker 300 A common Quaker male or Female — 200 A Confessor — — — — 600 A Seminary of Mass-Priest at large — — 500 A private Mass-priest — — — 400 A Roman Catholick in any other Order — 300 A Roman Catholick not in order Male or Female 100 An Officer under any Administration not mentioned in the Rates aforesaid , being a Native of England , such only excepted as stand Conformable to the Church of England . — — — 500 A common person under any Administration not mentioned in the Rates aforesaid , being a Native of England , such only excepted as stand Conformable to the Church of England . — — 200 An Officer under any Administration whatsoever , not a Native of England , except conformable to the Church of England . 1000 A private person under any Administration whatsoever , not a Native of England , except conformable to the Church of England — — 500 Rates to be observed in compounding for Liberty of Conscience in the Particulars following , viz. FOR Liberty to assert the Pope's Supremacy 1000 For Liberty to write , speak , or preach against the Government , as they shall be inwardly moved 500 For Liberty to keep on their Hats before Magistrates , or in Courts of Judicature — — 200 For Liberty to rail publickly against the Bishops and Common-Prayer — — — 100 For Liberty to refuse all manner of Oaths , of Allegiance and Supremacy , or in Cases Civil or Criminal — — — — — 200 For Liberty to deny Tithes and other Church Duties — — — — 100 For Liberty to expound the Revelations , and the Book of Daniel — — — 100 For liberty to disturb any Congregation after Sermon — — — — 0100 For Liberty to assert the Solemn League and Covenant . — — — — 150 For liberty to instruct youth in the short Catechism , set forth by the Assembly of Divines . 0100 That any Person or Persons gifted for any the Particulars abovesaid , may have Liberty therein , either as an Itinerate , in private or publick , at the Rates abovesaid . That no person or persons be admitted to compound for Liberty of Conscience , untill he , or they , have first taken , and subscribed to the Solemn Protestation following , before the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers , or their Sub Commissioners respectively . I A. B. do here solemnly protest , That I judge my self still bound by the Solemn League and Covenant , by the Engagement , by private Church-Covenant , or by any other Oath which I have taken ever since the Year 1641. And that so far as with Safety to my Person and Estate I may , I will endeavour the utter Ertirpation of Episcopacy , and to the utmost of my Power , will abett and promote all Schism , Faction , and Discord , both in Church and State , according to the best form and manner , prescribed and laid open in the Sermons of many of the Grand Commissioners and Farmers , before the Parliament , appointed to be Printed , and now called the Homilies of the separated Churches . And that I will never by what Conviction of Authority soever , whether Legal or Episcopal , ever consent to the Establish'd Doctrine and Discipline of the Church of England . And I do likewise believe , That Liberty of Conscience was a mysterious , yet profitable Talent committed to the Churches , and that it may be lawfully Farmed out for Advantage and Improvement . That no person within the Kingdom of England , Dominion of Wales , or Town of Barwick , may , from , and after the twenty fifth day of March next , use or exercise any manner of Liberty of Conscience , except persons standing conformable to the Church of England ; untill such Person or Persons , shall first take the Solemn Protestation , and shall compound with the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers , for Liberty of Conscience , nor shall he be admitted or permitted to be a Speaker or Hearer , in any Meeting or Assemblies whatsoever . That the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience , may have Power to constitute , under the Publick Seal of the said Office , a convenient number of Spiritual Gagers , who may have and exercise all such Powers , Priviledges , and Authorities , as the Gagers for Excise of Beer and Ale , have , or ought to have and enjoy , and may , at any time , in case of Suspition enter into any house or place , publick or private , to Gage , and try the Spirits and Affections of any Person or Fersons ; and by Praying , Preaching , or other good Exhortation , dissuade from Episcopacy , and the Common Prayer , the better to fit and prepare them to compound for Liberty of Conscience . That the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience , may have power to fine any person or persons ( not exceeding the Sum of twenty pounds for every offence , who shall , after Composition for Liberty of Conscience , and subscribing the Solemn Protestation , be present in any Church or Chappel , within the Kingdom of England , Dominion of Wales , and Town of Barwick , in the time of any part of Divine Service , unless at the Funeral of his Father , or some other like occasion , he shall either respond , be uncovered , or carry himself reverently , in the Time of Divine Service aforesaid . That the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience , or any twenty four of them assembled at the Office aforesaid , may have and exercise a Jurisdiction of Appeal in all matters relating to Liberty of Conscience , within the said Kingdom of England , and shall have a conclusive power in all matters brought before them , by way of Appeal as aforesaid . That for the better Management of all such matters as shall be brought judicially before the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience , by way of Appeal , the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers , shall have Power to constitute and appoint Mr. Oliver St. Johns , and such others as they judge fit for their said Service , to be of Standing-Councel with the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers : And the said Mr. Oliver St. Johns , being so constituted and appointed under the publick Seal of the said Office , shall , and may be exempted and discharged from being in any publick Office , or place of Trust or Profit , for the said Term of seven Years , any thing to the contrary notwithstanding . That if any person or persons shall happen to be proceeded against in any of the Ecclesiastical Courts of the Bishops of this Kingdom , for Contumacy , for Non-Conformity , for Non-payment of Tythes , and other Church-Duties , for publick Rayling against the Bishops , the Common-Prayer , or the Government of the Church of England , or shall speak Opprobriously or Scandalously against the Doctrine or Discipline thereof , as Antichristian , or shall maintain any Positions or Doctrines contrary thereunto ; every such person producing a Certificate from the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers under the publick Seal of the said Office , that such person or persons are under Composition for Liberty of Conscience , shall actually be discharged , and all farther Proceedings stayed , Any thing to the contrary notwithstanding . That if any persons shall happen to be Indicted , or criminally proceeded against in any of his Majesties Courts at Westminster , or elsewhere within the Kingdom of England , either for Treasonable Speeches , or Practices , for publick railing at the Government , or for Scandalous words against either or both Houses of Parliament , or for transgressing any of the penal Laws and Statures of this Kingdom , Every such person or persons , producing a Certificate from the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers under the publick Seal of the said Office , that such person or persons are under Composition for Liberty of Conscience ; and that such words or practises were not spoken or acted malitiosè , but were only the natural and proper Effects and Product of Liberty of Conscience , shall be discharged , and all further Proceedings stayed ; Any thing to the contrary notwithstanding . That the said Grand Commissioners , and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience , may have Power from time to time , to ordain Pastors , Elders , and Deacons , or any other Officers , under any Administration whatsoever , by the laying on of the Publick Seal of the Office : Which said Imposition of the said Publick Seal being received with a Certificate , shall be as Lawful an Ordination , as if every such Person had received Imposition from the Hands of the Presbytery ; any late Usage or Custom to the contrary notwithstanding . That the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers may have Power from time to time , to set apart days of Publick Fastings , and Humiliation , and Thanksgiving ; on which days it may be lawful for any Person or Persons appointed , to officiate before the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers , to stir up the People to a Holy Indignation against themselves , for having by their want of Zeal , and Brotherly Kindness one towards another , lost many Precious Enjoyments ; and above all , the never-to-be-forgotten Loss of the late Power and Dominion , which , with the Expence of so much Blood and Rapine , was put into the Hands of the Saints . And to take up for a Lamentation , and great thoughts of Heart , the Divisions of Reuben , that having our Sacks full , such an Evil Spirit should be found in the midst of us , as to fall out by the way ; might it have been with those that abode by the Stuff , as with those that went out to the Battel , it had not been with us as at this day . Some starting aside , like a broken Bow , in the Year 48. others continue to bear the Burden and Heat of the Day until 60 , being harness'd , did then turn their Backs in the day of Battel : As was most sweetly handled at the Fast kept Yesterday , at Mr. Beale's , by Mr. Calamy , Mr. Baxter , and others . That the Twentieth day of April next , commonly called Easter Monday , be kept as a day of Solem Fasting and Humiliation , for a Blessing upon these Gospel — Undertakings ; and that Mr. Edmond Calamy , Mr. Peter Sterry , Doctor Lazarus Seamon , and Mr. Feake , be desired to carry on the Work of the Day in Prayer and Preaching , before the said Grand Farmers ; and that the particulars following , be recommended to their Consideration in the Work of the Day . 1. To Bewail , 1. All our Court Sins . 2. Our Bishops Sins . 3. Our Monks Sins . 4. Our Common Prayer Sins . 2. To Divert ▪ 1. Westminster Hall Judgments . 2. Our Old-Baily Judgments . 3. Our Tower-Hill Judgments . 4. Our Charing-Cross Judgments . 5. Our Tyburn Judgments . Lastly , For Deliverance from the Hand of Dun , that uncircumcifed Philistine . That the said Grand Comissioners , and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience , may have Power to build Churches and Chappels in any place , or places , except upon such Ground where Churches or Chappels do already stand , in regard of the Inconvenience of setting up Altar against Altar : And forasmuch as the Custom of reading some part of the Holy Bible before Sermon , comonly called First and Second Lessons , hath been found fruitless , That therefore the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers , may have power to appoint instead thereof , the Annual reading of those Sermons preached by many of the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers , before the Parliament , upon special Occasions of Thanksgiving and Humiliation , from the Year 1641. to the Year 1648 , Which said Sermons , may be called the Homilies of the Separating Churches . That the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers may have Power to require Mr. Gilbert Millington , and Mr. Luke Robinson , the lame Evangelist , to deliver up all such Articles , Orders , Books , Papers , and other Writings , as were transacted before the late Committee for Plundered Ministers ; and likewise , all such as were passed and transacted before Mr. Philip Ney , and some others of the now Grand Commissioners and Farmers , and heretofore called Commissioners , or Spiritual Tryers , to the end the said Articles , Orders , Books , and other Papers , may be Printed and Published , and may be kept at the said Office upon Record for ever , and appointed to be the Book of Canons of the Seperated Churches . All this being done , we may upon Scripture Grounds expect , that the Door of Hope may yet be open to Us , and our Children after us , to see the Travel of our Souls , and to set us into the Promised Land , and to reap some of those Clusters of the Grapes of Canaan , which with so much Labor and Toyl of Body , and Mind were planted , especially in the Years of 1641 , 42 , 43 , 44 , 45. by many of Us , and other Precious Saints and Ministers of the Gospel , who are since fallen asleep , and have , we hope , reaped the Fruits of those Labors , the Lord having in that day put a mighty Spirit into Us , and set us as Watchmen upon the Towers of Israel , to cry mightily Curse ye Meroz , curse ye bitterly . Grant that those Heart-breaking Labors of Ours , those King-destroying Labors , those Kingdom-ruining Labors , those Gospel-scandalizing Labors , those Church-subverting Labors , those Soul-confounding Labors of Ours may never be forgotten , but may be written as with the point of a Diamond , upon the Heart of the King , upon the Hearts of the Bishops , upon the Heart of the Parliament , and upon the Hearts of all the People from Dan to Beersheba , that so in God's good time , we may receive our Reward Seven-fold into our own Bosoms , and that the Generations to come , may hear and fear , and do no more so wickedly . So prays S. Butler . The Round-Heads Resolution . WHereas we are , through our great Ignorance and Obstinacy grown to a most Seditious and Malignant head , and the Horns of that Head ( though of a main length ) not able to support our Arrogant Faction , as appears by our last being soundly slash'd and bastinado'd , by a mad Crew called the Cavaliers ; and whereas a great part of Us have shut up our Shops , because we could no longer keep them open , which kind of shutting up , proceedeth commonly from our vast Expence in White-broths , Custards , and other Luxurious Dishes , provided for the Edification one of another . And whereas the Multitude , called True Protestants , endeavor to hold up Bishops , to maintain good Order , Discipline , and Orthodox Preaching in the Church ; Learning and Arts in the Universities , and Peace in the Common-wealth ; all which is nothing but Idolatry , Superstition , Profaneness , and plain Popery : And further , whereas we ( who are nothing properly but Round heads and Fanaticks ) are in most scandalous manner termed Holy Brethren , the Zealots of the Land , and which in sincerity we never were , or ever will be . And sorasmuch likewise as the prophane World of True Protestants , are a stiff-necked Generation , and will not yield unto Us the Preheminence of Doctrine and Religion , not withstanding the many Senceless two hours of those Spiritual Trumpets of Our Faction , the Sanctified Clergy-Lecturers , or of Our more Divine Lectures of our Supreme Shee-Lecturers , whose Bowels do even earne for the getting in of the Saints unto Us , and have , as it were even a zealous lusting after Us. And forasmuch as the Religion professed by Us ; in the purest and most decent , as appears by the great Love and Community betwixt the Brethren and the Sisters , the Conveniency of the Woods , Saw-pits , and Dark Places , the putting out Lights , and defying those Tapers of Iniquity , which cause us to behold our own Wicked Deeds , the gooly Bigness of the Ear , with the shortness of the Hair , which hindereth not the Sound of the Shepheards Voice , but easily heareth him call to a great Feast , amongst the Rich Saints , the length and sharpness of the Nose , which not only smelleth the sweet Savors of the Holy Plum-broth , but also promiseth an eager Appetite to some good Work towards the Younger Sisters , the roundness of the Band , the length of the Dublet , and the shortness of the Breeches , being a habit correspondent to the Pictures of the Apostles in the Geneva Print , the mightiness of our Faith , which is able to remove a Church into a Wood , the Transparency of our Charity , that is so invisible , that neither the right hand , nor the left ever knew it , the Multitude of our Good Works , which no man living can number , the Godly Works of our tautological Prayers , and the Zeal thereof , which brings us even to Divine Consumption ; whereby we look like the Prodigal Son at his return home , or the Priests in the Arras , the defying of all Fathers , Bishops , and Doctors , Conformable Persons , Canonical Robes , Ecclesiastical Gestures , and Utensils , all Learning , liberal Arts and Degrees , as the raggs of Superstition , the dregs of Popery are abominable in the goggle eyes of a right Round-head ; and yet this simple Innocent Profession is scorned and baffled , and by whom ? But by Scholars , and such as profess Learning , which is no more necessary to Religion , than a Publick Church ( which verily ) is but a Den of Thieves when we are absent . All which Grievances do stand with much reason , and therefore are utterly against our tender Consciences , and never were allowed by any Synod of More-fields or Westminster . That therefore which we do now resolve to maintain , and desire have confirmed , and never to alter'd ( till some new toy tickle us in the Pericranium , which will be very shortly ) is , 1. That our Religion , Tenants , and Mannors , before-mentioned , be established and maintained against all Reason , Learning , Divinity , Order , Discipline , Morality , Piety , or Humanity whatsoever . 2. That the very Name of Bishops , shall be a sufficient Jury and Judge , to condemn any of them , without any further Evidence or Circumstance . 3. That if any man whatsoever , having knowledge in the Latine Tongue ( being a Popish Language ) shall presume to think he can save a Soul by Preaching , he be excommunicated both in this World , and in the World to come ; unless it be some certain Lecturers , of whose approved Rayling and Ignorance , we are well assured , and have known to stand six hours : on a Fasting Day . 4. That the Felt-maker and the Cobler , two innocent Cuckolds may be instituted Primares and Metropolitans of the two Arch-Provinees , and the rest of the Sect preserved , according to their Imbecillities of Spirit , to such Bishopricks and other Livings , as will competently serve to procure fat Poultry , sor the filling of their insatiate Stomachs , in which regard , Church-Livings had more need to be increased , than diminished . 5. That no man whatsoever , who bears the name of Cavalier , may be capable of making any of the Brethren a Cuckold , unless he cut his Hair , and alter his Profession ; but be excluded from the Conventicles , as the King's Friend , and a Reprobate . 6. Lastiy , That there be two whole days set apart to Fast and Pray for the Confusion of all that are not thus resolved . A Caveat to the Round-Heads . I Come to charge yee That slight the Clergy , And pull the Miter from the Prelat's Head , That you will be wary , Least you miscarry In all these factious humors you have bred ; But as for Brownists we 'll have none , But take them all , and hang them one by one . Your wicked Actions , Joyn'd in Factions , Are all but aims to rob the King of his due . Then give this reason For your Treason , That you 'll be rul'd , if he 'll be rul'd by you ; Then leave these factions , zealous Brother , Least you be hanged one against another . Your Wit abounded , Gentle Round-head , When you abus'd the Bishops in a Ditty , When as you sanged , You must be hanged , A Timpinee of Malice made you witty , And though your hot zeal made you bold , When you are hang'd , your Arse will be a cold . Then leave confounding , And expounding The Doctrine that you preach in Tubbs , You raise this Warring , And private Jarring , I doubt , in tinte , will prove the Knave of Clubbs . It 's for your Lying , and not for your Oaths , You shall be hang'd , and Ketch shall have your Cloaths . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A34836-e1470 Parallel'd in Holy Cheats . In Publishing False News as Legends . In Mental Reservations . In allowing Perjuries . In an unintelligible Worship . Both hold Justification by Works , the one by Good the other by Ill Works . Free-will one holds belongs to all men , the other only to Parliament men . They agree in interlining Scriptures and Creeds , In Implicit Faith , One believes Purgatory hereafter , & the other , erects a Purgatory here . The Assembly of Divines as infallible as a general Council . One fasts Frydays & Eves , the other all Sundays . Both have their Reliques Both claime to succeed St. Peter . The one for Church Musick the other for Singing without Musick Both boast their Miracles . Each hath a several Transubstantiation . Both Infalible in Cathedra . Both for deposing Kings ; the one by fair means , the other by Foul. Their Avarice Their Ambition Lord Privy Seal . Pennington Their Tirany . The Counterfiet grivances of the Kings Reign compared with the Royal ones of their Usurpation . viz. 1642.