Rule a wife, and have a wife a comedy, as it is acted at the new theatre in Little Lincolns Inn-fields, by His Majesty's servants. Fletcher, John, 1579-1625. 1697 Approx. 160 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 31 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2008-09 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A27198 Wing B1606 ESTC R18001 12257912 ocm 12257912 57585 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A27198) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 57585) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 166:14) Rule a wife, and have a wife a comedy, as it is acted at the new theatre in Little Lincolns Inn-fields, by His Majesty's servants. Fletcher, John, 1579-1625. Cervantes Saavedra, Miguel de, 1547-1616. Casamiento engañoso. Beaumont, Francis, 1584-1616. [4], 55, [1] p. Printed for Sam. Briscoe ... and sold by Richard Wellington ..., London : 1697. Written by Fletcher although sometimes assigned jointly to Beaumont and Fletcher. Cf. DNB. Minor plot is from Cervantes' El cassamiento engañoso, one of the Novelas exemplars. Reproduction of original in Folger Library. Advertisement on t.p. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2006-04 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2006-04 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2007-05 Ali Jakobson Sampled and proofread 2007-05 Ali Jakobson Text and markup reviewed and edited 2008-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Rule a Wife , AND Have a Wife . A COMEDY , As it is Acted at the New Theatre , IN Little Lincolns Inn-fields . By His Majesty's Servants . LONDON , Printed for Sam. Briscoe , in Russel-street , Covent-Garden ; and sold by Richard Wellington , at the Lute in S. Paul's Church-yard . 1697. ☞ The Country Wake : A Comedy , written by Mr. Tho. Doggett . Acted at the New-Theatre in Little Lincolns Inn-fields . Dramatis Personae . Duke of Modena , Don Juan De Castro , Michael Perez , the Copper Captain , Cacofogo , a Usurer , Sanchio , Alonso , Mr. Scidmore . Mr. Thurmond . Mr. Kynaston . Mr. Vnderhill . Mr. Freeman . Mr. Husbands . WOMEN . Donna Margarita , the Heiress , Estifania , her Maid , Wife to the Copper Captain , Clara , First Lady , Second Lady , Altea , Mrs. Barry . Mrs. Boutell . Mrs. Prince . Mrs. Lee. Mrs. Perune . Mrs. Lawson , PROLOGUE . PLeasure attend ye , and about ye sit The springs of mirth , fancy , delight and wit , To stir you up , do not your looks let fall , Nor to remembrance our late errors call , Because this day w' are Spaniards all again , The story of our Play : and our Seene Spain : The errors too , do not for this cause hate , Now we present their wit and not their state . Nor Ladies be not angry if you see , A young fresh Beauty , wanton and too fres , Seek to abuse her Husband , still 't is Spain , No such gross errors in your Kingdom reign , W' are Vestals all , and though we blow the fire , We seldom make it flame up to desire , Take no example neither to begin , For some by precedent delight to sin : Nor blame the Poet if he slip aside Sometimes lasciviously if not too wide . But hold your Fans close , and then smile at ease , A cruel Scene did never Lady please . Nor Gentlemen , pray be not you displeas'd , Though we present some men fool'd , some diseas , d , Some drunk , some mad : we mean not you , you 're free , We tax no farther than our Comedy , You are our friends , sit noble then and see . ACT I. SCENE I. Enter Juan de Castro , and Michael Perez . Mich. A Re your Companies full , Collonel ? Juan . No , not yet , Sir : Nor will be this month yet , as I reckon ; How rises your Command ? Mich. We pick up still , and as our monies hold out , We have men come , about that time I think We shall be full too , many young Gallants go . Juan . And unexperienced , The Wats are dainty dreams to young hot spirits , Time and Experience will allay those Visions ; We have strange things to fill our numbers , There 's one Don Leon , a strange goodly fellow , Recommended to me from some noble Friends , For my Alferes ; had you but seen his Person , And what a Giants promise it protesteth . Mich. I have heard of him , and that he hath serv'd before too . Juan But no harm done , nor never meant , Don Miohael , That came to my ears yet ; ask him a question , He blushes like a Girl , and answers little , To the point less ; he wears a Sword , a good one , And good Cloaths too , he is whole skinn'd , has no hurt yet , Good promising hopes ; I never yet heard certainly Of any Gentleman that saw him angry . Mich. Preserve him , he 'll conclude a Peace , if need be ; Many as strong as he will go along with us , That swear as valiantly as heart can wish , Their mouths charg'd with six oaths at once , and whole ones , That make the drunken Dutch creep into Mole-hills . Juan . 'T is true , such we must look for : but Mich. Perez , When heard you of Donna Margarita , the great Heiress ? Mich. I hear every hour of her , though I never saw her , She is the main discourse : noble Don Juan de Castro , How happy were that man could catch this Wench up , And live at ease ! she is fair , and young , ad wealthy . Infinite wealthy , and as gracious too In all her entertainments , as men report . Juan . But she is proud , Sir , that I know for certain And that comes seldom without wantonness : He that shall marry her , must have a rare hand . Mich. Would I were married , I would find that Wisdom , With a light rein to rule my Wife : if ever Woman Of the most subtile ●ould went beyond me , I would give the Boys leave to whoot me out o' th' Parish . Enter a Servant . Ser. Sir , there be two Gentlewomen attend to speak With you . Juan . Wait on 'em in . Mich. Are they two handsome Women ? Ser. They seem so , very handsom , but they are vail'd , Sir. Mich. Thou put'st sugar in my mouth , how it melts with me ! I love a sweet young Wench . Juan . Wait on them in I say . [ Exit Servant . Mich. Don Juan . Juan . How you itch , Michael ! how you burnish ! Will not this Souldiers heat out of your bones yet , Do your Eyes glow now ? Mich. There be two . Juan . Say honest , what shame have you then ? Mich. I would fain see that , I have been in the Indies twice , and have seen strange things , But two honest Women ? — one I read of once . Juan . Prithee be modest . Mich. I 'll be any thing . Enter Servant , Donna Clara , and Estisania vail'd . Juan . You are welcome Ladies . Mich. Both hooded , I like 'em well though , They come not for advice in Law sure hither ; May be they would learn to raise the Pike , I am for 'em : they are very modest , 't is a fine Preludium . Juan . With me , or with this Gentleman , Would you speak Lady ? Clara. With you , Sir , as I guess , Juan de Castro . Mich. Her Curtain opens , she is a pretty Gentlewoman . Juan . I am the Man , and shall be bound to Fortune , I may do any service to your Beauties . Clara. Captain , I hear you are marching down to Flanders , To serve the Catholick King. Juan . I am sweet Lady . Clara. I have a Kinsman , and a noble Friend , Imploy'd in those Wars , may be , Sir , you know him , Don Campusano Captain of Carbines To whom I would request your Nobleness , To give this poor Remembrance . [ A Letter . Juan . I shall do it , I know the Gentleman , a most worthy Captain . Clara. Something in private . Juan . Step aside ? I 'll serve thee . [ Ex. Juan , and Clara. Mich. Prithee let me see thy face . Estif . Sir , you must pardon me , Women of our sort , that maintain fair memories , And keep suspect off from their Chastities , Had need wear thicker Vails . Mich. I am no blaster of a Ladies Beauty , Nor bold intruder on her special favours , I know how tender Reputation is , And with what guards it ought to be preserv'd , Lady , You may to me . Estif . You must excuse me , Seignior , I come Not here to sell my self . Mich. As I am a Gentleman by the honour of a Souldier . Estif . I believe you , I pray you be civil , I believe you would see me , And when you have seen me I believe you will like me , But in a strange place , to a stranger too , As if I came on purpose to betray you : Indeed I will not . Mich. I shall love you dearly , And 't is a sin to fling away affection , I have no Mistress , no desire to honour Any but you , will not this Oyster open ? I know not , you have struck me with your modesty ; She will draw sure ; so deep , and taken from me All the desire I might bestow on others : Quickly before they come . Estif . Indeed I dare not : But since I see you are so desirous Sir , To view a poor face that can merit nothing But your Repentance . Mich. It must needs be excellent . Estif . And with what honesty you ask it of me , When I am gone let your man follow me , And view what house I enter , thither come , For there I dare be bold to appear open : And as I like your vertuous carriage then , Enter Juan , Clara , a Servant . I shall be able to give welcome to you ; She has done her business , I must take my leave Sir. Mich. I 'll kiss your fair white hand and thank you , Lady . My man shall wait , and I shall be your Servant ; Sirrah , come near , hark . [ Exit . Serv. I shall do it faithfully . Juan . You will command me no more services ; Clara. To be careful of your noble health , dear Sir , That I may ever honour you . Juan . I thank you , And kiss your hands , wait on the Ladies down there . [ Exeunt Ladies and Servants . Mich. You had the honour to see the face that came to you ? Juan . And 't was a fair one ; what was yours , Don Michael ? Mich. Mine was ' i th' clipse , and had a Cloud crawn over it . But I believe well , and I hope 't is handsome , She had a hand would stir a holy Hetmite . Juan . You know none of ' em ? Mich. No. Juan . Then I do , Captain , Bu 〈◊〉 say nothing till I see the proof on 't , Sit close Don Perez , or your Worship 's caught . I fear a Flye . Mich. Were those she brought Love-Letters ? Juan . A Packet to a Kinsman now in Flanders : Yours was very modest metrought . Mich. Some young unmanag'd thing , But I may live to see — Juan . 'T is worth experience , Let 's walk abroad and view our Companies . [ Exeunt . Enter Sanchio , and Alonzo . Sanch. What , are you for the Wars , Alonzo ? Alon. It may be I , It may be no , e'n as the humor takes me . If I find peace amongst the female Creatures , And easie entertainment , I 'll stay at home I am not so far obliged yet to long Marches And mouldy Bisket , to run mad for Honour , When you are all gone I have my choice before me . Sanch. Of which Hospital thou wilt sweat in ; wilt thou Never leave whoring ? Alon. There is less danger in 't than gunning , Sanchio , Though we be shot sometimes , the shot 's not mortal , Besides , it breaks no limbs . Sanch. But it disables 'em , Dost thou see how thou pull'st thy legs after thee , as they Hung by points . Alon. Better to poll'em thus than walk on wooden ones : Serve bravely for a Billet to support me . Sanch. Fye fye 't is base . Alon. Dost thou count it base to suffer ? Suffer abundantly ? 't is the Crown of Honour ; You think it nothing to lie twenty days Under a Surgeons hands that has no mercy . Sanch. As thou hast done I am sure ; but I perceive now Why you desire to stay , the orient Heiress , The Margarita , Sir. Alonz. I would I had her . Sanch. They say she will marry . Alonz. I think she will. Sanch. And marry suddenly , as report goes too , She fears her Youth will not hold out , Alonz. Alonz. I would I had the sheathing on 't . Sanc They say too She has a greedy eye that must be fed With more than one mans meat . Alonz. Would she were mine , I would cater for her well enough ; but Sanchio , There be too many great men that adore her , Princes , and Princes fellows , that claim priviledge . Sanch. Yet those stand offi'th ' way of marriage , To be tyed to a mans pleasure is a second labour . Alon. She has bought a brave house here in Town . Sanch. I have heard so . Alonz. If she convert it now to pious uses , And bid poor Gentlemen welcome . Sanch. When comes she to it ? Alonz. Within these two days , she is in the Country yet , And keeps the noblest House . Sanch. Then there 's some hope of her , Wilt thou go my way . Alonz. No , no , I must leave you , And repair to an old Gentlewoman That has credit with her , that can speak a good word . Sanch. Send thee good fortune , but make thy Body sound first . Alonz. I am a Soldier , And too sound a Body becomes me not ; Farewel , Sanchio . [ Exeunt . Enter a servant of Michael Perez . Serv. 'T is this or that house , or I have lost my aim , They are both fair buildings , she walked plaguy fast , Enter Estifania . And hereabouts I lost her ; stay , that 's she , 'T is very she , — she makes me a low court'sie , Let me note the place , the street I will remember . [ Exit . She is in again , certain some noble Lady . How happy should I be if she love my master : A wonderous goodly house , here are brave lodgings , And I shall sleep now like an Emperor And ear abundantly : I thank my fortune , I 'll back with speed , and bring him happy tidings . [ Exit . Enter three old Ladies . 1 Lady . What should it mean , that in such haste We are sent for ? 2 Lady . Belike the Lady Margaret has some business She would break to us in private . 3 Lady . It should seem so . 'T is a good Lady , and a wise young Lady . 2 Lady . And vertuous enough too I warrant ye For a young Woman of her years ; 't is a pity To load her tender Age with too much Vertue . 3 Lady . 'T is more sometimes than we can well away with . Enter Altea . Alt. Good morrow , Ladies . All. ' Morrow my good Madam . 1 Lad. How does the sweet young Beauty , Lady Margaret ? 2 Lady . Has she slept well after her walk last night ? 3 Lady . Are her dreams gentle to her mind ? Alt. All 's well , She 's very well , she sent for you thus suddenly To give her counsel in a business That much concerns her . 2 Lady . She does well and wisely , To ask the counsel of the ancientst , Madam , Our years have run through many things she knows not . Alt. She would fain marry . 1 Lady . 'T is a proper calling . And well beseems her years , who would she yoke with ? Alt. That 's left to argue on , I pray come in And break your fast , drink a good cup or two , To strengthen your understandings , then she 'l tell ye . 2. And good wine breeds good counsel , We 'll yeild to ye . [ Exeunt . Enter Juan de Castro and Leon. Juan . Have you seen any service ? Leon. Yes . Juan . Where ? Leon. Every where . Juan . What office bore ye ? Leon. None , I was not worthy : Juan . What Captains know you ? Leon. None , they were above me . Juan . Were you never hurt ? Leon. Not that I well remember , But once I stole a Hen , and then they beat me ; Pray ask me no long questions , I have an ill memory . Juan . This is an Asse , did you never draw your sword yet ? Leon. Not to do any harm I thank Heaven for 't . Juan . Nor ne'r ta'en prisoner . Leon. No , I ran away . For I had ne'r no money to redeem me . Juan . Can you endure a Drum. Leon. It makes my head ake . Juan . Are you not valiant when you are drunk ? Leon. I think not , but I am loving Sir. Juan What a lump is this man. Was your Father wise ? Leon. Too wise for me I 'm sure , For he gave all he had to my younger Brother . Juan . That was no foolish part I 'le bear you witness . Canst thou lye with a Woman ? Leon. I think I could make shift Sir , But I am bashful . Juan . In the night ? Leon. I know not , Darkness indeed may do some good upon me . Juan . Why art thou sent to me to be my Officer , Ay , and commended too , when thou darst not fight ? Leon. There be more Officers of my opinion , Or I am cozen'd Sir , men that talk more too . Juan . How wilt thou scape a bullet ? Leon. Why by chance , They aim at honourable men , alas I am none Sir. Juan . This fellow has some doubts in 's talk that strike me , Enter Alonzo . He cannot be all fool : welcom Alonzo . Alon. What have you got there , temperance into your Company ? The spirit of peace ? we shall have wars . Enter Cacafogo . By th' ounce then . O here 's another pumpion , Let him loose for luck sake , the cram'd son Of a stav'd Usurer , Cacafogo , both their brains butter'd , Cannot make two spoonfuls . Caca. My Father 's dead : I am a man of war too , Monies , demesns ; I have Ships at Sea too , Captains . Juan . Take heed o' th' Hollanders , your ships may leak else . Caca. I scorn the Hollanders , they are my Drunkards . Alon. Put up your gold Sir , I 'le borrow it else . Caca. I am satisfied , you shall not , Come out , I know thee , meet mine anger instantly . Leon. I never wrong'd ye . Caca. Thouhast wrong'd mine honour , Thou lok'dst upon my Mistris thrice lasciviously , I 'll make it good . Juan . Do not heat your self , you will surseit . Caca. Thou wan'st my mony too , with a pair of base bones , In whom there was no truth , for which I beat thee , I beat thee much , now I will hurt thee dangerously . This shall provoke thee . [ He strikes . Alon. You struck too low by a foot Sir. Juan . You must get a ladder when you would beat This fellow . Leon. I cannot chuse but kick again , pray pardon me . Caca. Hadst thou not ask'd my pardon , I had kill'd thee , I leave thee as a thing despis'd , assoles manus a vostra siniare a Maistre . [ Exit Cac. Alon. You have scap'd by miracle , there is not in all Spain , A spirit of more fury than this Fire-drake . Leon. I see he is hasty , and I would give him leave To beat me soundly if he would take my bond . Juan . What shall I do with this fellow ? Alon. Turn him off , He will infect the Camp with cowardise , If he go with thee . Juan . About some week hence Sir. If I can hit upon no abler , Officer , You shall hear from me . Leon. I desire no better . [ Exit . Enter Estifania ; and Perez . Per. You have made me now too bountiful amends , Lady , For your strict carriage when you saw me first : These beauties were not menat to be conceal'd , It was a wrong to hide so sweet an object , I cou●d now chide ye , but it shall be thus , No other anger ever touch your sweetness . Estif You appear to me so honest , and so civil , Without a blush Sir , I dare bid ye welcom . Per. Now let me ask your name . Estif . 'T is Estifania , the heir of this poor place . Per. Poor do you call it ? There 's nothing that I cast mine eyes upon , But shews both rich and admirable , all the rooms Are hung as if a Princess were to dwell here , The Gardens , Orchards , every thing so curious : Is all that plate your own too ? Estif . 'T is but little , Only for present use , I have more and richer , When need shall call , or friends compel me use it , The sutes you see of all the upper chambers , Are those that commonly adorn the house , I think I have besides , as fair , as civil , As any Town in Spain can parallel . Per. Now if she be not married , I have some hopes . Are you a maid ? Estif. You make me blush to answer , I ever was accounted so to this hour , And that 's the reason that I live retir'd Sir. Per. Then would I counsel you to marry presently , ( If I can get her , I am made for ever ) For every year you lose , you lose a beauty , A Husband now , an honest careful Husband , Were such a comfort : will ye walk above stairs ? Estif . This place will fit our talk , 't is fitter far Sir , Above there are day-beds , and such temptations I dare not trust Sir. Per. She is excellent wise withal too . Estif . You nam'd a husband , I am not so strict Sir , Nor ty'd unto a Virgins solitariness , But if an honest , and a noble one , Rich , and a Souldier , for so I have vowed he shall be , Were offer'd me , I think I should accept him , But above all he must love . Perez . He were base else , There 's comfort ministred in the word Souldier , How sweetly should I live ! Estif . I am not so ignorant , but that I know well , How to be commanded , And how again to make my self obey'd Sir , I waste but little , I have gather'd much , My Rial not the less worth , when 't is spent , If spent by my direction , to please my Husband , I hold it as indifferent in my duty , To be his maid i' th' Kitchin , or his Cook , As in the Hall to know my self the Mistris . Per. Sweet , rich and provident , now fortune stick To me ; I am a Soldier , and a Bachelour , Lady , And such a Wife as you , I cou'd love infinitely , They that use many words , some are deceitful , I long to be a Husband , and a good one , For 't is most certain I shall make a president For all that follow me to love their Ladies . I am young you see , able I would have you think too , If 't please you know , try me before you take me . T is true I shall not meet in equal wealth With ye , but Jewels , Chains , such as the war 〈◊〉 as given me , a thousand Duckets I dare ●●sume on in ready gold , now as your ●●re may handle it , as rich cloaths too , as 〈◊〉 he bears Arms , Lady . Estif . You are a true gentlemen , and fair , I see by ye , ●nd such a man I had rather take . Perez . Pray do so , I 'le have a Priest o' th' sudden . Estif . And as suddenly you will repent too . Perez . I 'le be hang'd or drown'd first , 〈◊〉 this and this , and this kiss . Estif . You are a Flatteter , But I must say there was something when I saw you First , in that most noble face , that stirr'd my fancy . Per. I 'le stir it better e're you sleep sweet Lady , I 'le send for all my Trunks , and give up all to ye , Into your own dispose , before I bed ye , And then sweet wench . Estif. You have the art to cozen me . [ Exeunt . ACT II. SCENE I. Enter Margarita , and two Ladies , and Altea . Margar. SIT down and give me your opinions seriously . 〈◊〉 You say you have a mind to marry Lady . Marg. 〈…〉 , I have for to preserve my credit , 〈◊〉 not so much for that as for my state Ladies , 〈◊〉 me 〈◊〉 there lies the main o' th' question , 〈…〉 mo●ey will in●p●●it , 〈…〉 gone , when the law shall 〈…〉 strip me 〈…〉 〈…〉 body so malicious that way ? 〈…〉 are that are young and lusty , 〈…〉 my pleasure , 〈…〉 2 Lady . 'T is fit you should have , You years require it , and'tis necessary , As necessary as meat to a young Lady , Sleep cannot nourish more . 1 La. But might not all this be , and keep ye single . You take away variety in marriage , The abundance of the pleasure you are barr'd then , Is 't not abundance that you aim at ? Marg. Yes why was I made a woman ? 2 Lady . And every day a new ? Marg. Why fair and young but to use it ? 1 Lady . You are still i' th' right , why would you marry then Alte. Because a Husband stops all doubts in this point , And clears all passages . 2 Lady . What Husband mean ye ? Alte. A Husband of an easy faith , a fool , Made by her wealth , and moulded to her pleasure , One though he see himself become a monster , Shall hold the door , and entertain the maker . 2 Lady . You grant there may be such a man. 1 Lady . Yes marry , but how to bring 'em to this rare Perfection . 2 Lady . They must be chosen so , things of no honour , Nor outward honesty . Marg. No 't is no matter , I care not what they are , so they be lusty . 2 La. Methinks now a rich Lawyer , some such fellow , That carries credit , and a face of awe , But lies with nothing but his clients business . Marg. No there 's no trusting them , they are too subtil , The Law has moulded'em of natural mischief . 1 Lady . Then some grave governour , Some man of honour , yet an easy man. Marg. If he have honour I am undone , I 'le none such , I 'le have a lusty man , honour will cloy me . Altea . T is fit ye should Lady ; And to that end , with search and with and labour , I have found one out , a right one and a perfect , He is made as strong as brass , is of brave years too , And doughty of complexion . Marga. Is he a Gentleman ? Alt. Yes and a souldier , as gentle as you would wish him , A good fellow , wears good cloaths . Marga. Those I 'le allow him , They are for my credit , does he understand But little ? Altea . Very little . Marga. 'T is the better , Have not the wars bred him up to anger ? Al. No , he will not quarrel with a dog that bites him , Let him be drunk or sober , is one silence . Marg. H 'as no capacity what honour is ? For that 's the Souldiers god . Alt. Honour 's a thing too subtil for his wisdom , If honour lye in eating , he is right honourable . Marg. Is he so goodly a man do you say ? Altea . As you shall see Lady , But to all this is but a trunk . Marg. I would have him so , I shall add branches to him to adorn him , Go , find me out this man , and let me see him , If he be that motion that you tell me of , And make no more noise , I shall entertain him , Let him be here . Altea . He shall attend your Ladiship . [ Exeunt . Enter Juan , Alonzo , and Perez . Juan . Why thou art not married indeed ? Perez . No , no , pray think so , Alas I am a fellow of no reckoning , Not worth a Ladies eye Alon. Wou'dst thou steal a fortune , And make none of all thy friends acquainted with it , Nor bid us to thy wedding ? Perez . No indeed , There was no wisdom in 't to bid an Artist , An old seducer to a female Banquet , I can cut up my pye without your instructions . Juan . Was it the wench i' th' veil ? Perez . Basto 't was she , The prettiest Rogue that e're you look'd upon , The lovingst thief . Juan . And is she rich withal too ? Perez . A mine , a mine , there is no end of wealth Collonel , I am an asse , a bashful fool , prethee Collonel , How do thy companies fill now ? Juan . You are merry Sir , You intend a safer war at home belike now . Per. I do not think I shall fight much this year Collonel , I find my self given to my ease a little , I care not if I sell my foolish company , They are things of hazard . Alon , How it angers me , This fellow at first sight should win a Lady , A rich young wench , and I that have consum'd My time and art in searching out their subtilities , Like a fool'd Alchymist blow up my hopes still ? When shall we come to thy house and be freely merry ? Perez . When I have manag'd her a little more , I have an house to entertain an Army . Alon. If thy wise be fair , thou wilt have few less Come to thee . Perez . But where they 'll get entertainment is the point Signier . I beat no Drum. Alon. You need none but her Taber , May be I 'le march after a month or two , To get me a fresh stomach . I find Collonel A wantonness in wealth , methinks I agree not with , 'T is such a trouble to be married too , And have a thousand things of great importance , Jewels and plates , and fooleries molest me , To have a mans brains whimsied with his wealth : Before I walk'd contentedly . Enter Servant . Serv. My Mistress Sir is sick , because you are absent , She mourns and will not eat . Perez . Alas my Jewel , Come I 'le go with thee , Gentlemen your fair leaves , You see I am ty'd a little to my yoke , Pray pardon me , would ye had both such loving wives . [ Exit Perez , Servant . Juan . I thank ye For your old boots , never be blank Alonzo , Because this fellow has out-stript thy fortune ; Tell me ten days hence what he is , and how . The gracious state of matrimony stands with him , Come , let 's to dinner , when Magarita comes We 'l visit both , it may be then your fortune . [ Exeunt . Enter Margarita . Altea , and Ladies . Marg. Is he come ? Altea . Yes Madam , h 'as been here this half hour , I have question'd him of all you can ask him , And find him as fit as you had made the man , He will make the goodliest shadow for iniquity . Marg. Have ye searcht him Ladies ? Omnes . He 's a man at all points , a likely man. Marg. Call him in Altea . [ Exit Lady . Enter Leon , Altea . A man of a good presence , pray ye come this way , Of a lusty body , is his mind so tame ? Altea . Pray ye question him , and if you find him not Fit for your purpose , shake him off , there 's no harm Done. Marg. Can ●ou love a young Lady ? How he blushes ! Alt. Leave ●●ling of your hat , and hold your head up , And speak to 'th Lady . Leon. Yes , I think I can , I must be taught , I know not what it means Madam . Marg. You shall be taught , and can you when she pleases Go 〈…〉 and stay a week or two ? You shall have men and horses to attend ye , And money in your purse . Leon. Yes I love riding , And when I am from home I am so merry . Marg. Be as merry as you will : can you as handsomely When you are sent for back , come with obedience , And do your duty to the Lady loves you ? Leon. Yes sure , I shall . Marg. And when you see her friends here , Or noble Kinsmen , can you entertain Their servants in the Celler , and be busied , And hold your Peace , what e're you see or hear of ? Leon. 'T were fit I were hang'd else . Marg. Let me try your kisses , How the fool shakes , I will not eat ye Sir , Bethrew my heart he kisses wondrous manly , Can ye do any thing else ? Leon. Indeed I know not ; But if your Ladiship will please to instruct me , Sure I shall learn. Marg. You shall then be instructed . If I should be this Lady that affects ye , Nay say I marry ye ? Altea . Hark to the Lady . Marg. What money have ye ? Leon. None Madam , nor friends , I would do any thing to serve your Ladyship . Marg. You must not look to be my Master Sir. Not talk I' th house as tho you wore the Breeches , No , nor command in any thing . Leon. I ●ill not , Alas I am not able , I have no wit Madam . Marg. Nor do not labour to arrive at any , 'T will spoil your head , I take ye upon charity , And like a servant ye must be unto me , As I behold your duty I shall love ye , And as you observe me , I may chance lye with ye , Can you mark these ? Leon. Yes indeed forsooth . Marg. There is one thing , That if I take ye in I put ye from me , Utterly from me , you must not be sawcy , No , nor at any time familiar with me , Scarce know me , when I call ye not . Leon. I will not , alas I never knew my self sufficiently . Marg. Nor must not now . Leon. I 'le be a Dog to please ye . Marg. Indeed you must fetch and carry as I appoint ye . Leon. I were to blame else . Marg. Kiss me again ; a strong fellow , There is a vigor in his lips : if you see me Kiss any other , twenty in an hour Sir , You must not start , nor be offended . Leon. No , if you kiss a thousand I shall be contented , It will the better teach me how to please ye . Altea . I told ye Madam . Marg. 'T is the man I wisht for ; the less you speak . Leon. I 'le never speak again Madam . But when you charge me , then I 'le speak softly too . Marg. Get me a Priest , I 'le wed him instantly , But when you are married Sir , you must wait Upon me , and see you observe my laws . Leon. Else you shall hang me . Marg. I 'le give you better clothes when you deserve 'em , Come in , and serve for witness . Omnes . We shall Madam . Marg. And then away to th' City presently , I 'le to my new house and new company . Leon. A thousand Crowns are thine , and I am a made man. Altea . Do not break out too soon . Leon. I know my time wench . [ Exeunt . Enter Clara , and Estifania with a paper . Clara. What , have you caught him ? Estif . Yes . Clara. And do you find him A man of those hopes that you aim'd at ? Estif . Yes too , And the most kind man , and the ablest also To give a wife content , he is sound as old wine , And to his soundness rises on the Pallat , And there 's the man ; find him rich too Clara. Clara. Hast thou married him ? Estif . What dost thou think I fish without a bait wench ? I bob for fools ? he is mine own , I have him , I told thee what would tickle him like a ●●oue , And as I cast it so I caught him daintily , And all he has I have stow'd at my devotion . Clara. Does thy Lady know this ? she is coming now to town , Now to live here in this house . Estif . Let her come , She shall be welcom , I am prepar'd for her , She is mad sure if she be angry at my fortune , For what I have made bold . Clara. Dost thou not love him ? Estif . Yes intirely well , As long as there he stays and looks no farther Into my ends , but when he doubts , I hate him , And that wise hate will teach me how to cozen him : How to decline their wives , and curb their manners , To put a stern and strong reyn to their natures , And holds he is an Ass not worth acquaintance , That cannot mould a Devil to obedience , I owe him a good turn for these opinions , And as I find his temper I may pay him . Enter Perez . O here he is , now you shall see a kind man. Perez . My Estifania , shall we to dinner lamb ? I know thou stay'st for me . Estif . I cannot eat else . Perez . I never enter but methinks a Paradice Appears about me . Estif. You are welcom to it Sir. Perez . I think I have the sweetest seat in Spain wench , Methinks the richest too , we 'll eat i' th' garden In one o' th' arbours , there 't is cool and pleasant , And have our wine cold in the running fountain . Who 's that ? Estif . A friend of mine Sir. Perez . Of what breeding ? Estif . A Gentlewoman Sir. Perez . What business has she ? Is she a learned woman i' th' Mathematicks , Can she tell fortunes ? Estif. More than I know Sir. Perez . Or has she e're a letter from a kinswoman , That must be delivered in my absence wife , Or comes she from the Doctor to salute ye , And learn your health ? she looks not like a Confessor . Estif . What needs all this , why are you troubled Sir , What do you suspect , she cannot cuckold ye , She is a woman Sir , a very woman . Perez . Your very woman may do very well Sir Toward the matter , for though she cannot perform it In her own person , she may do it by Proxie , Your rarest jugglers work still by conspiracy . Estif . Cry ye mercy husband , you are jealous then . And happily suspect me . Perez . No indeed wife , Estif . Methinks you should not till you have more cause Andclearer too : I am sure you have heard say husband , A woman forced will free her self through Iron . A happy , calm , and good wife discontented May be taught tricks . Perez . No , no , I do but jest with ye . Estif . To morrow friend I 'le see you . Clara. I shall leave ye Till then , and pray all may go sweetly with ye . [ Exit . Estif . Why where 's this girl , who 's at the door ? [ Knock. Perez . Who knocks there ? Is 't for the King ye come , you knock so boisterously ? Look to the door . Enter Maid . Maid . My Lady , as I live Mistris , my Lady 's come , She 's at the door , I peept through , and I saw her , And a stately company of Ladies with her . Estif . This was a week too soon , but I must meet with her , And set a new wheel going , and a subtile one , Must blind this mighty Mars , or I am ruin'd . Perez . What are they at door ? Estif . Such my Michael As you may bless the day they enter'd there , Such for our good . Perez . 'T is well . Estif. Nay 't will be better If you will let me but dispose the business , And be a stranger to it , and not disturb me , What have I now to do but to advance your fortune ? Perez . Do , I dare trust thee , I am asham'd I am angry , I find thee a wise young wife . Estif . I 'le wise your worship Before I leave ye , pray ye walk by and say nothing , Only salute them , and leave the rest to me Sir , I was born to make ye a man. Perez . The Rogue speaks heartily , Her good will colours in her cheeks , I am born to love her , I must be gentler to these tender natures , A Soldiers rude harsh words befit not Ladies , Nor must we talk to them as we talk to Our Officers , I 'le give her way , for 't is for me she Works now , I am husband , heir , and all she has . Enter Margarita , Estifania , Leon , Altea , and Ladies . Who are these , what flanting things , a woman Of rare presence ! excellent fair , this is too big For a bawdy house , too open seated too . Estif . My Husband , Lady . Marg. You have gain'd a proper man. Perez . What e're I am , I am your servant Lady . [ kisses . Estif . Sir , be rul'd now , And I shall make ye rich , this is my cousin , That Gentleman dotes on her , even to death , see how he observes her . Perez . She is a goodly woman . Estif . She is a mirrour , But she is poor , she were for a Princes side else , This house she has brought him too as to her own , And presuming upon me , and upon my courtesie ; Conceive me short , he knows not but she is wealthy , Or if he did know otherwise , 't were all one , He is so far gone . Perez Forward , she has a rare face . Estif . This we must carry with discretion Husband , And yield unto her for four days . Perez . Yield our house up , our goods and wealth ? Estif . All this is but in seeming , To milk the lover on , do you see this writing , 200 l. a year when they are married Has she sealed to for our good ; the time 's unfit now , I 'le shew it you to morrow . Perez . All the house ? Estif . All , all , and we 'll remove too , to confirm him , They 'll into th' country suddenly again After they are matcht , and then she 'll open to him . Perez . The whole possession wife ? look what you do , A part o' th' house . Estif . No , no , they shall have all , And take their pleasure too , 't is for our ' vantage . Why , what 's four days ? had you a Sister Sir , A Niece or Mistriss that required this courtesie , And should I make a scruple to do you good ? Perez . If easily it would come back . Estif . I swear Sir , As easily as it came on , is 't not a pity To let such a Gentlewoman for a little help — You give away no house . Perez . Clear but that question . Estif . I 'le put the writings into your hand . Perez . Well then . Estif . And you shall keep them safe . Perez . I am satisfied ; wou'd I had the wench so too . Estif . When she has married him , So infinite his love is linkt unto her , You , I , or any one that helps at this pinch May have Heaven knows what . Perez . I 'le remove the goods straight , And take some poor house by , 't is but for four days . Estif . I have a poor old friend ; there we 'll be . Perez . 'T is well then . Estif . Go handsom off , and leave the house clear . Perez . Well . Estif . That little stuff we 'll use shall follow after ; And a boy to guide ye , peace and we are made both . Marg. Come , let 's go in , are all the rooms kept sweet wench ? Estif . They are sweet and neat . [ Exit Perez . Marg. Why where 's your Husband ? Estif . Gone Madam . When you come to your own he must give place Lady . Marg. Well , send your joy , you would not let me know 't , Yet I shall not forget ye . Estif . Thank your Ladyship . [ Exeunt . ACT III. SCENE I. Enter Margarita , Altea , and Boy . Altea . ARE you at ease now , is your heart at rest , Now you have got a shadow , an umbrella To keep the scorching worlds opinion From your fair credit . Marg. I am at peace Altea , If he continue but the same he shews , And be a master of that ignorance He outwardly professes , I am happy , The pleasure I shall live in and the freedom Without the squint eye of the law upon me , Or prating liberty of tongues , that envy . Altea . You are a made woman . Marg. But if he should prove now A crafty and dissembling kind of Husband . One read in knavery , and brought up in the art Of Villany conceal'd . Altca . My life , an innocent . Marg. That 's it I aim at ; That 's it I hope too , then I am sure I rule him , For innocents are like obedient Children , Brought up under a hard Mother-in law , a cruel , Who being not us'd to Break-fasts and Collations , When they have course bread offer'd 'em , are thankful , And take it for a favour too . Are the rooms Made ready to entertain my friends ? I long to dance now And to be wanton ; let me have a song , is the great Couch up The Duke of Meaina sent ? Altea . 'T is up and ready . Marg. And Day-beds in all Chambers ? Altea . In all , Lady ; Your house is nothing now but various pleasures , The Gallants begin to gaze too . Marg. Let 'em gaze on , I was brought up a Courtier high and happy , And Company is my delight , and Courtship , And handsom servants at my will : where 's my good Husband Where does he wait ? Altea . He knows his distance , Madam , I warrant ye , he is busy in the Cellar Amongst his fellow servants , or asleep , Till your Command awake him . Enter Leon. Marg. 'T is well Altea , It should be so , my ward I must preserve him : Who sent for him , how dare he come uncall'd for , His bonnet on too ? Altea . Sure he sees you not . Marg. How scornful he looks ! Leon. Are all the Chambers Deckt and adorn'd thus for my Ladies pleasure ? New hangings every hour for entertainment , And 〈…〉 bought , new Jewels to give lustre ? Ser. They are , and yet there must be more and richer , It is 〈◊〉 will. Leon. Hum , is it 〈◊〉 't is excellent , It is her will too ▪ to have Feasts and Banquets ; Revels and Masqu●s . Ser. She ever lov'd 'em dearly , And we ●●ll have the bravest house kept now Sir , I must 〈◊〉 ye Master she has warn'd me , Nor must not put my Hat off to 〈◊〉 Leon. 'T is no fashion , What though I be her Husband , I am your fellow , I may cut first . Ser. That 's as you shall deserve Sir. Leon. And when I lye with her . Ser. May be I 'le light ye , On the same point you may do me that service . Enter 1 Lady . 1 La. Madam , the Duke Medina with some Captains Will come to dinner and have sent rare Wine , And their best services . Marg. They shall be welcom : See all be ready in the noblest fashion , The house perfum'd , now I shall take my pleasure , And not my neighbour Justice maunder at me . Go , get your best cloaths on , but till I call ye , Be sure you be not seen , dine with the Gentlewomen , And behave your self cleanly Sir , 't is for my credit . Enter 2 Lady . 2 Lady . Madam , the Lady Julia. Leon. That 's a bawd , A three pil'd bawd , bawd major to the Army . 2 La. His brought her Coach to wait upon your Ladiship , And to be inform'd if you will take the air this morning . Leon. The neat air of her Nunnery . Marg. Tell her no , i' th' afternoon I 'le call on her . 2 Lady . I will Madam . [ Exit . Marg. Why are not you gone to prepare your self , May be you shall be sewer to the fire course , A portly presence : Altea he looks lean 'T is a wash knave , he will not keep his flesh well . Altea . A ●illing , Madam , one that needs no spurring . Leon. Faith Madam , in my little understanding , You had better entertain your honest neighbours , Your friends about ye , that may speak well of ye , And give a worthy mention of your bounty . Marg. How now , what 's this ? Leon. 'T is only to perswade ye , Courtiers are but fickle things to deal withal , A kind of ●●rch-p●ne that will not ●●st Madam , An egg and pepper goes farther than their potions , And a well built body , a poor parsnip Will play his prize above their strong potabiles . Marg. The fellow 's mad . Leon. He that shall counsel Ladies That have both liquorish and ambitious eyes , Is either mad , — or drunk , let him speak Gospel . Altea . He breaks out modestly . Leon. Pray be not angry , My indiscretion has made bold to tell ye , What you 'l find true . Marg. Thou darest not talk . Leon. Not much Madam . You have a tye upon your servants tongue , H● dares not be so bold as reason bids him , 'T were fit there were a stronger on your temper . Ne're look so stern upon me , I am your Husband , But what are Husbands ? read the new worlds wonders . Such Husbands as this monstrous world produces , And you will scarce find such deformities : They are shadows to conceal your venial vertues , Sails to your mills , that grind with all occasions , Balls that lye by you , to wash out your stains , And bills nail'd up with horn before your stories , To rent out last . Marg. Do you hear him talk ? Leon. I have done Madam . An Oxe once spoke , as learned men deliver , Shortly I shall be such , then I 'le speak wonders , Till when I tye my self to my obedience . Exit . Marg. First I 'le unty my-self , did you mark the Gentleman , How boldly and how sawcily he talk'd And how unlike the lump I took him for , The piece of ignorant dough , he stood up to me And mated my commands , this was your providence , Your wisdom , to elect this Gentleman , Your excellent forecast in the man , your knowledge , What think ye now ? Altea . I think him an Asse still , This boldness some of your people have blown Into him , this wisdom too with strong wine , ' Tisa Tyrant , and a Philosopher also , and finds Out reasons . Marga. I 'le have my Cellar lockt , no school kept there , Nor no discovery . I 'le turn my drunkards , Such as are understanding in their draughts , And dispute learn●●ly the whyes and wherefores , To grass immediately , I 'le keep all fools , Sober or drunk , still fools , that shall know nothing , Nothing belongs to mankind , but obedience , And such a hand I 'le keep over this Husband . Altea . He will fall again , my life he cryes by this time , Keep him from drink , he has a high constitution . Enter Leon. Leon. Shall I wear my new sute Madam ? Marg. No your old clothes , And get you into the country presently , And see my hawks well train'd , you shall have Victuals , Such are are fit for sawcy palats Sir , And lodgings with the Hindes , it is too good too . Altea . Good Madam be not so rough , with repentance , You see now he is come round again . Mar. I see not what I expect of see . Leon. You shall see Madam , if it shall please your Ladyship . Altea . He 's humbled , Forgive good Lady . Marg. Well go get you handsome , And let me hear no more . Leon. Have ye yet no feeling ? I 'le pinch ye to the bones then my proud Lady . [ Exit . Marg See you preserve him thus upon my favour , You know his temper , tye him to the grindstone , The next rebellion I 'le be rid of him , I 'le have no needy Rascals I tye to me , Dispute my life : come in and see all handsom . Altea . I hope too see you so too , I have wrought ill else . [ Exeunt . Enter Perez . Per. Shall I never return to mine own house again ? We are lodg'd here in the miserablest dog-hole , A Conjurers circle gives content above it , A hawks new is a princely palace to it , We have a bed no bigger then a basket , And there we lye like Butter clapt together , And sweat our selves to sawce immediately ; The fumes are infinite inhabit here too ; And to that so thick , they cut like Marmalet , So various too , they 'l pose a Gold-finder : Never return to mine own paradice ? Why VVife I say , why Estifania . Estif . [ within . ] I am going presently . Perez . Make haste good Jewel . I am like the people that live in the sweet Islands : I dye , I dye , if I stay but one day more here ; My lungs are rotten with the damps that rise , And I cough nothing now but stinks of all sorts ; The Inhabitants we have , are two starv'd Rats , For they are not able to maintain a Cat here , And those appear as fearful as two Devils ; They have eat a map of the whole World up already , And if we stay a night we are gone for Company . There 's an old woman that 's now grown to marble , Dry'd in this Brick hill , and she sets i' th' Chimny , VVhich is but 3 Tiles rais'd like a house of Cards , The 〈◊〉 proportion of an old smok'd Sibyl ; There is a young thing too that Nature meant For a Maid-servant , but 't is now a monster , She has a husk about her like a Chesnut , VVith business , and living under the line here , And these two make a hollow sound together , Like Frogs or VVinds between two doors that murmur . Enter Estifania . Mercy deliver me . O are you come VVife , Shall we be free again ? Estif . I am now going , And you shall presently to your own house Sir , The remembrance of this small vexation Will be argument of mirth for ever . By that time you have said your Orisons , And broke your fast , I shall be back and ready , To usher you to your old content , your fredom . Per. Break my neck rather , is there any thing here to eat But one another , like a race of Cannibals ? A piece of butter'd Wall you think is excellent , Let 's have our house again immediately , And pray ye take heed unto the furniture , None be imbe●zel'd . Estif . Not a pin I warrant ye . Perez . And let 'em instantly depart . Estif . They shall both . There 's reason in all courtesies , they must both , For by this time I know ●he has acquainted him , And has provided to , she sent me word Sir , And will give over gracefully unto you . Perez . I 'le walk i' th' Church yard ; The dead cannot offend more than these living , An hour hence I 'le expect ye . Estif . I 'le not fail Sir. Perez . And do you hear , let 's have a handsome dinner , And see all things be decent as they have been , And let me have a strong Bath to restore me , I stink like a stall-fish sham●les , or an Oyl-shop . Estif . You shall have all , which some interpret nothing , I 'le send ye people for the Trunks afore-hand , And for the stuff . Perez . Let em be known and honest , And do my service to your Niece . Estif . I shall Sir , But if I come not at my hour , come thither , That they may give you thanks for your fair courtesie , And pray ye be brave for my sake . Perez . I observe ye . [ Exeunt . Enter Juan de Castro , Sancho , and Cacaiogo . Sanc. Thou art very brave . Caca. I have reason , I have money . Sanc. Is money reason ? Caca. Yes , and rhime too Captain , If ye have no money y 're an Ass . Sanc. I thank ye . Caca. Ye have manners , ever thank him that has money . Sanc. Wilt thou lend me any ? Caca. Not a farthing Captain , Captains are casual things . Sanc. Why so are all men , thou shalt have my bond . Caca. Nor bonds nor fetters Captain , My money is mine , I make no doubt on 't . Juan . What dost thou do with it ? Cac. Put it to pious uses , Buy Wine and Wenches , and undo young Coxcombs That would undo me . Juan . Are those Hospitals ? Cac. I first provide to fill my Hospitals With Creatures of mine own , that I know wretched , And then I build : those are more bound to pray for me : Besides , I keep th' inheritance in my Name still . Juan . A provident Charity ; are you for the Wars , Sir ? Cac. I am not poor enough to be a Souldier , Nor have I faith enough to ward a Bullet ; This is no lining for a Trench , I take it . Juan . Ye have said wisely . Cac. Had you but my money , You would swear it Collonel , I had rather drill at home A hundred thousand Crowns , and with more honour , Than exercise ten thousand Fools with nothing ; A wise man safely feeds , Fools cut their fingers . Sanc. A right State Usurer ; why dost thou not marry , And live a reverend Justice ? Cac. Is 't not nobler to command a reverend Justice , than to be one ? And for a Wife , what need I marry , Captain , When every courteous fool that owes me money . Owes me his Wife too , to appease my fury ? Juan . Wilt thou go to dinner with us ? Cac. I will go , and view the Pearl of Spain , the Orient Fair One , the rich One too , and I will be respected , I bear my Patent here , I will talk to her , And when your Captainships shall stand aloof , And pick your Noses , I will pick the purse Of her affection . Juan . The Duke dines there to day too , the Duke of Medina . Cac. Let the King dine there , He owes me money , and so far 's my Creature , And certainly I may make bold with mine own , Captain ? Sanch. Thou wilt eat monstrously . Cac. Like a true born Spaniard , Eat as I were in England where the Beef grows , And I will drink abundantly , and then Talk ye as wantonly as Ovid did , To stir the intellectuals of the Ladies ; I learnt it of my Father's amorous Scrivener . Juan . If we should play now , you must supply me . Cac. You must pawn a Horse Troop , And then have at ye Collonel . Sanc. Come , let 's go : This Rascal will make rare sport ; how the Ladies Will laugh at him ? Juan . If I light on him I 'll make his Purse sweat too . Cac. Will ye lead , Gentlemen ? [ Exeunt ; Enter Perez , an old Woman , and Maid . Per. Nay , pray ye come out , and let me understand ye , And tune your pipe a little higher , Lady ; I 'll hold you fast , rub , how came my Trunks open ? And my Goods gone , what Pick-lock Spirit ? Old Wom. Ha , what would you have ? Per. My Goods again , how came my Trunks all open ? Old Wom. Are your Trunks open ? Per. Yes , and Cloaths gone , And Chains , and Jewels : how she smells like hung Beef , The Palsey , and Pick-locks ; fye , how she belches , The Spirit of Garlick . Old Wom. Where 's your Gentlewoman ? The young fair Woman ? Per. What 's that to my question ? She is my Wife , and gone about my business . Maid . Is she your Wife , Sir ? Per. Yes Sir , is that wonder ? In the name of Wife unknown here . Old Wom. Is she truly , truly your Wife ? Per. I think so , for I married her ; It was no Vision sure ! Maid . She has the Keys , Sir. Per. I know she has , but who has all my Goods , Spirit ? Old Wom. If you be married to that Gentlewoman , You are a wretched man , she has twenty Husbands . Maid . She tells you true . Old Wom. And she has cozen'd all , Sir. Per. The Devil she has ! I had a fair house with her , That stands hard by , and furnisht royally . Old Wom. You are cozen'd too , 't is none of hers , good Gentleman Maid . The Lady Margarita , she was her Servant , And kept the house , but going from her , Sir , For some lewd tricks she plaid . Per. Plague o' the Devil , Am Ii'th full meridian of my wisdom Cheated by a stale Quean ! what kind of Lady Is that that owes the House ? Old Wom. A young sweet Lady . Per. Of a low stature ? Old Wom. She is indeed but little , but she is wondrous fair . Per. I feel I am cozen'd ; Now I am sensible I am undone , This is the very Woman sure , that Cousin She told me would entreat but for four days , To make the house hers ; I am entreated sweetly . Maid . When she went out this morning , that I saw , Sir , She had two Women at the door attending , And there she gave 'em things and loaded 'em , But what they were — I heard your Trunks to open , If they be yours ? Per. They were mine while they were laden , But now they have cast their Calves , they are not worth Owning : was she her Mistress say you ? Old Wom. Her own Mistress , her very Mistress , Sir , and all you saw About , and in that house was hers . Per. No Plate , no Jewels , nor no Hangings ? Maid . Not a farthing , she is poor , Sir , a poor shifting thing . Per. No money ? Old Wom. Abominable poor , as poor as we are , Money as rare to her unless she steal it , But for one civil Gown her Lady gave her , She may go bare , good Gentlewoman . Per. I am mad now , I think I am as poor as she , I am wide else , One civil Sute I have left too , and that 's all , And if she steal that , she must fley me for it ; Where does she use ? Old Wom. You may find truth as soon , Alas , a thousand conceal'd corners , Sir , she lurks in . And here she gets a fleece , and there another , And lives in mists and smoaks where none can find her . Per. Is she a Whore too ? Old Wom. Little better , Gentleman , I dare not say she is so Sir , because She is yours , Sir , these 5 years she has firkt A pretty living , Until she came to serve ; I fear he will knock my Brains out for lying . Per. She has serv'd me faithfully , A Whore and Thief ? two excellent moral learnings In one She Saint , I hope to see her legend . Have I been fear'd for my discoveries , And courted by all women to conceal ' em ? Have I so long studied the art of this Sex , And read the warnings to young Gentlemen ? Have I profest to tame the pride of Ladies , And make 'em bear all tests , and am I trickt now ? Caught in mine own nooze ? here 's a Royal left yet , There 's for your lodging and your meat for this week . A silk worm lives at a more plentiful ordinary , And sleeps in a sweeter Box ; farewel great Grandmother , If I do find you were an accessary , 'T is but the cutting off wo smoaky minutes , I 'll hang ye presently . Old. Wom. And I deserve it , I tell but truth . Per. Not I , I am an Ass , Mother . [ Exeunt . Enter the Duke of Medina , Juan de Castro , Alonzo , Sancho , Caca●ogo . Attendants . Duke A goodly house . Juan . And richly furnisht too Sir. Alonz. Hung wantonly , I like that preparation , It stirs the blood unto a hopeful Banquet , And intimates the Mistress free and jovial , I love a house where pleasure prepares welcome . Duke . Now Cacafogo , how like you this mansion ? 'T were a brave pawn . Caca. I shall be master of it , 'T was built for my bulk , the rooms are wide and spacious , Airy and full of ease , and that I love well , I 'll tell you when I tast the Wine , my Lord , 〈…〉 the height of her Table with my Stomach , How my affections stand to the young Lady . Enter Margarita , Altea , Ladies , and Servants . Mar. All welcom to your Grace , and to these Soldiers , You honour my poor house with your fair presence , Those few slight pleasures that inhabit here , Sir , I do beseech your Grace command , they are yours , Your servant but preserves 'em to delight ye . Duke . I think ye Lady , I am bold to visit ye , Once more to bless mine eyes with your sweet Beauty , 'T has been a long night since you left the Court , For till I saw you now , no day broke to me . Mar. Bring in the Dukes meat . Sanch. She is most excellent . Juan . Most admirable fair as e'r I lookt upon , I had rather command her than my Regiment . Caca. I 'll have a sting , 't is but a thousand Duckets , Which I can cozen up again in ten days , And some few Jewels to justify my knavery , Say , I should marry her , she 'll get more money Than all my Usury , put my kna●●ry to it , She appears the most infallible way of Purchase , I cou'd wish her a size or two stronger for the encounter , For I am like a Lion where I lay hold , But these Lambs will endure a plaguy load , And never bleat neither , that Sir , time has taught us . I am so vertuous now , I cannot speak to her , The arrant'st shamefac'd Ass , I broil away too . Enter Leon. Mar. Why , where 's this dinner ? Leon. 'T is not ready , Madam , Nor shall not be until I know the Guests too , Nor are they fairly welcom till I bid ' em . Juan . Is not this my Alferes ? he looks another thing ; Are miracles afoot again ? Marg. Why , Sirrah , why Sirrah , you ? Leon. I hear you , saucy woman , And as you are my VVife , command your absence , And know your duty , 't is the Crown of modesty , Duke . Your VVife ? Leon. Yes good my Lord , I am her Husband , And pray take notice that I claim that honour , And will maintain it . Caca. If thou be'st her Husband , I am determin'd thou shalt be my Cuckold . I 'll be thy faithful friend . Leon. Peace , dirt and dunghil , I will not lose my anger on a Rascal , Provoke me more , I 'll beat thy blown body Till thou rebound'st again like a Tennis-ball . Alonz. This is miraculous . Sanch. Is this the fellow That had the patience to become a Fool , A flurted Fool , and on a sudden break , As if he would shew a wonder to the VVorld , Both in Bravery , and Fortune too ? I much admire the man ; I am astonisht . Marg. I 'll be divorced immediately . Leon. You shall not , You shall not have so much will to be wicked . I am more tender of your honour , Lady , And of your Age ; you took me for a shadow ; You took me to gloss over your discredit , To be your fool , you had thought you had sound a Coxcomb ; I am innocent of any foul dishonour I mean to ye . Only I will be known to be your Lord now , And be a fair one too , or I will fall for 't . Mar. I do command ye from me , thou poor fellow , Thou cozen'd fool . Leon. Thou cozen'd fool 't is not so , I will not be commanded : I am above ye : You may divorce me from your favour , Lady , But from your state you never shall , I 'll hold that And then maintain your wantonness , I 'll wink at it . Mar. Am I braved thus in my own house ? Leon. 'T is mine , Madam , You are deceiv'd , I am Lord of it , I rule it and all that 's in 't ; You have nothing to do here , Madam ; But as a servant to sweep clean the Lodgings , And at my farther will to do me service , And so I 'll keep it . Mar. As you love me , give way . Leon. It shall be better , I will give none , Madam , I stand upon the ground of mine own honour And will maintain it , you shall know me now To be an understanding feeling man , And sensible of what a Woman aims at , A young proud woman that has will to sail with , And itching woman , that her blood provokes too , I cast my Cloud off , and appear my self , The master of this little piece of mischief , And I will put a Spell about your feet , Lady , They shall not wander but where I give way now . Duke . Is this the fellow that the people pointed at , For the meer sign of man , the walking image ? He speaks wondrous highly . Leon. As a Husband ought , Sir , In his own house , and it becomes me well too , I think your Grace would grieve if you were put to it To have a Wife or Servant of your own , ( For VVives are reckon'd in the rank of Servants , ) Under your own roof to command ye . Juan . Brave , a strange Conversion , thou shalt lead In chief now . Duke . Is there no difference betwixt her and you , Sir ? Leon. Not now , Lord , my fortune makes me even , And as I am an honest man , I am nobler . Mar. Get me my Coach. Leon. Let me see who dares get it Till I command , I 'll make him draw your Coach too , And eat your Coach , ( which will be hard diet ) That executes your VVill , or take your Coach , Lady , I give you liberty , and take your people VVhich I turn off , and take your VVill abroad with ye , Take all these freely , but take me no more , And so farewel . Duke . Nay , Sir , you shall not carry it So bravely off , you shall not wrong a Lady In a high huffing strain , and think to bear it , We stand not by as bawds to your brave fury , To see a Lady weep . Leon. They are tears of anger , beseech ye note 'em , not worth pity , Wrung from her rage , because her Will prevails not , She would swound now if she could not cry , Else they were excellent , and I should grieve too , But falling thus , they show nor sweet nor orient . Put up my Lord , this is oppression , And calls the Sword of Justice to relieve me , The law to lend her hand , the King to right me , All which shall understand how you provoke me , In mine own house to brave me , is this princely ? Then to my Guard , and if I spare your Grace , And do not make this place your Monument , Too rich a Tomb for such a rude behaviour , I have a Cause will kill a thousand of ye , mercy forsake me . Juan . Hold fair Sir , I beseech ye , The Gentleman but pleads his own right nobly . Leon. He that dares strike against the Husbands freedom . The Husbands 〈◊〉 stick to him , a tam'd Cuckold , His Wi●e be fair and young , but most dishonest , Most impudent , and have no feeling of it , No conscience to reclaim her from a Monster , Let her lye by him like a flattering ruine , And at one instant kill both Name and Honour , Let him be lo●t , ●o eye to weep his end , Nor find ●o ●●rth that 's base enough to bury him . Now Sir , 〈…〉 , I am ready to oppose ye . Du. I have ●●tter thought , I pray Sir use your Wise well . Leon. 〈◊〉 own humanity will teach me that , Sir , And now you are all welcom , all , and we 'll to dinner , This is my Wedding-day . Duke . I 'll cross your joy yet . Juan . I have seen a miracle , hold thine own , Souldier . Sure they dare fight in fire that conque● Women . Sanch. H 'as beaten all my loose thoughts out of me . As if he had thresht 'em out o' th' husk . Enter Perez . Per. 'Save ye , which is the Lady of the house ? Leon. That 's she , Sir , that pretty Lady , If you would speak with her . Juan . Don Michael , Leon , another darer come . Per. Pray do not know me , I am full of business . When I have more time I 'll be merry with ye . It is the woman : good Madam , tell me truly , Had you a Maid call'd Estifania ? Marg. Yes truly , had I. Per. Was she a Maid do you think ? Marg. I dare not swear for her , For she had but a scant fame . Per. Was she your Kinswoman ? Marg. Not that I ever knew , now I look better I think you married her , ' give you joy , Sir , You may reclaim her , 't was a wild young Girl . Per. Give me a halter : is not this house mine , Madam ? VVas not she owner of it , pray speak truely ? Marg. No , certainly , I am sure my money paid for it , And I ne'r remember yet I gave it you , Sir. Per. The Hangings and the Plate too ? Marg. All are mine , Sir , And every thing you see about the building , She only kept my house when I was absent , And so ill kept it , I was weary of her . Sanch. VVhat a Devil ails he ? Juan . He 's possest I 'll assure you . Per. VVhere is your Maid ? Marg. Do not you know that have her . She is yours now , why should I look after her ? Since that first hour I came I never saw her . Per. I saw her later , would the Devil had had her , It is all true I find , a wild-fire take her . Juan . Is thy Wife with Child , Don Michael ? thy excellent Wise : Art thou a Man yet ? Alonz. When shall we come and visit thee ? Sanc. And eat some rare fruit ? thou hast admirable Orchards , You are so jealous now , pox o' your jealousy , How scurvily you look ! Per. Prithee ▪ leave fooling , I am in no humour now to fool and prattle , Did she ne'r play the wag with you ? Marg. Yes many times , so often that I was asham'd to keep her , But I forgave her , Sir , in hope she would mend still , And had not you o' th' instant married her , I had put her off . Per. I thank ye , I am blest still , Which way soe're I turn I am a made man , Miserably gull'd beyond recovery . Juan . You 'll stay and dine ? Per. Certain I cannot , Captain , Hark in thine ear , I am the arrantst Puppy , The miserablest Ass , but I must leave ye , I am in haste , in haste , bless you , good Madam . And you prove as good as my Wife . [ Exit . Leon. VVill you come near Sir , will your Grace but honour me , And taste our dinner ? you are nobly welcom , All anger 's past I hope , and I shall serve ye . Juan . Thou art the stock of men , and I admire thee ] [ Exeunt . ACT IV. SCENE I. Enter Perez . Per. I 'Ll go to a Conjurer but I 'll find this Pol cat , This pilfering whore : a plague of Vails , I cry , And covers for the impudence of VVomen , Their sanctity in show will deceive Devils , It is my evil Angel , let me bless me . Enter Estifania with a Casket . Estif 'T is he , I am caught , I must stand to it stoutly , And show no shake of fear , I see he is angry , Vext at the uttermost . Per. My worthy VVife , I have been looking of your modesty All the Town over . Estif . My most noble Husband , I am glad I have found ye , for in truth I am VVeary , Weary and lame with looking out your Lordship . Per. I have been in Bawdy Houses . Estif . I believe you , and very lately too . Per. 'Pray you pardon me , To seek your Ladyship , I have been in Cellars , In private Cellars , where the thirsty Bawds Hear your Confessions ; I have been at Plays , To look you out amongst the youthful Actors , At Puppet-shews , you are Mistress of the motions , At Gossippings I hearkened after you , But amongst those Confusions of lewd Tongues There 's no distinguishing beyond a Babel . I was amongst the Nuns because you sing well , But they say yours are bawdy Songs , they mourn for ye , And last I went to Church to seek you out , 'T is so long since you were there , they have forgot you . Estif . You have had a pretty progress , I 'll tell mine now : To look you out , I went to twenty Taverns . Per. And are you sober ? Estif . Yes , I reel not yet , Sir , VVhere I saw twenty drunk , most of 'em Soldiers , There I had great hope to find you disguis'd too . From hence to th' dicing house , there I found Quarrels needless and senceless , Sword and Pots , and Candlesticks , Tables and Stools , and all in one confusion , And no man knew his friend . I left this Chaos , And to the Chirurgeons went , he will'd me stay , For says he learnedly , if he be tippled , Twenty to one he whores , and then I hear of him , If he be mad , he quarrels , then he comes too . I sought ye where no safe thing would have ventur'd , Amongst diseases , base and vile , vile women , For I remembred your old Roman axiom , The more the danger , still the more the honour : Last , to your Confessor I came , who told me , You were too proud to pray , and here I have found ye . Per. She bears up bravely , and the Rogue is witty , But I shall dash it instantly to nothing . Here leave me off our wanton languages And now conclude we in a sharper tongue . Estif . VVhy am I cozen'd ? VVhy am I abused ? Per. Thou most vile , base , abominable — Estif . Captain . Per. Thou stinking , overstow'd , poor , pocky — Estif . Captain . Per. Do you eccho me ? Estif . Yes Sir , and go before ye , And round about ye , why do ye rail at me For that that was your own sin , your own knavery ? Per. And brave me too ? Estif . You had best now draw your Sword , Captain ? Draw it upon a VVoman , do brave , Captain ? Upon your Wife , oh most renowned Captain . Per. A Plague upon thee , answer me directly ; VVhy didst thon marry me ? Estif . To be my Husband ; I had thought you had had infinite , but I am cozen'd . Per. VVhy didst thou flatter me , and shew me wonders ? A house and riches , when they are but shadows , Shadows to me ? Estif . Why did you work on me ( It was but my part to requite you , Sir ) With your strong Souldiers wit , and swore you would bring me So much in Chains , so much in Jewels , Husband , So much in right rich Cloaths ? Per. Thou hast 'em Rascal ; I gave 'em to thy hands , my trunks and all , And thou hast open'd 'em , and sold my treasure . Estif . Sir , there 's your treasure , sell it to a Tinker To mend old Kettles , is this noble Usage ? Let all the world view here the Captain 's treasure , A Man would think now , these were worthy matters ; Here 's a shooing horn Chain gilt over , how it scenteth Worse than the mouldy dirty heel it served for : And here 's another of a lesser value , So little I would shame to tye my Dog in 't , These are my jointure , blush and save a labour , Or these else will blush for ye . Per. A fire subtle ye , are ye so crafty ? Estif . Here 's a goodly Jewel , Did not you win this at Goletta , Captain , Or took it in the field from some brave Bassa , How it sparkles like an old Ladies Eyes , And fills each room with light like a close Lanthorn . This would do rarely in an Abbey Window , To cozen Pilgrims . Per. Prithee leave prating . Estif . And here 's a Chain of Whitings eyes for Pearls , A Muscle-monger would have made a better . Per. Nay , prithee Wife , my Cloaths , my Cloaths . Estif . I 'll tell ye , Your Cloaths are parallels to these , all counterfeit . put these and them on , you are a Man of Copper , A kind of Candlestick ; these you thought , my Husband , To have cozen'd me withal , but I am quit with you . Per. Is there no house then , nor no grounds about it ? No Plate nor Hangings . Estif . There are none , sweet Husband , Shadow for shadow is as equal Justice . Can you rail now ? pray put up your fury , Sir , And speak great words , you are a Souldier , thunder . Per. I will speak little , I have plaid the fool , And so I am rewarded . Estif . You have spoke well , Sir , And now I see you are so conformable I 'll heighten you again , go to your house , They are packing to be gone , you must sup there , I 'll meet ye , and bring Cloaths , and clean Shirts after , And all things shall be well , I 'll colt you once more , And teach you to bring Copper . Per. Tell me one thing , I do beseech thee tell me , tell me truth , Wise , However I forgive thee , art thou honest ? The Beldam swore . Estif . I bid her tell you so , Sir. It was my plot , alas my credulous Husband , The Lady told you too . Per. Most strange things of thee . Estif . Still 't was my way , and all to try your sufferance , And she denied the House . Per. She knew me not , No , nor no title that I had . Estif . 'T was well carried ; No more , I am right and strait . Per. I would believe thee . But Heaven knows how my heart is , will ye follow me ; Estif . I 'll be there strait . Per. I am fooled , yet dare not find it . [ Exit . Per. Estif . Go silly fool , thou mayst be a good Souldier In open field , but for our private service Thou art as Ass , I 'll make thee so , or miss else . Enter Cacasogo . Here comes another Trout that I must tickle , And tickle daintily , I have lost my end else . May I crave your leave , Sir ? Caca. Prithee be answered , thou shalt crave no leave , I am in my meditations , do not vex me , A beaten thing , but this hour a most bruised thing , That people had compassion on it , looked so , The next Sir Palmerin , here 's fine proportion , An Ass , and then an Elephant , sweet Justice , There 's no way left to come at her now , no craving , If money could come near , yet I would pay him ; I have a mind to make him a huge Cuckold , And money may do much , a thousand Duckets , 'T is but the letting Blood of a rank Heir . Estif . Pray you hear me . Caca. I know thou hast some wedding Ring to pawn now , Of Silver and gilt , with a blind posie in 't , Love and a Mill-horse should go round together , Or thy Childs whistle , or thy Squirrels Chain , I 'll none of em , I would she did but know me , Or would this fellow had but use of money , That I might come in any way . Estif . I am gone , Sir , And I shall tell the beauty sent me to ye , The Lady Margarita . Caca. Stay I prithee , What is thy Will ? I turn me wholly to ye , And talk now till thy tongue ake , I will hear ye . Estif . She would entreat you , Sir. Caca. She shall command , Sir , Let it be so , I beseech thee , my sweet Gentlewoman , Do not forget thy self . Estif . She does command then . This courtesie , because she knows you are noble . Cac. Your Mistress by the way ? Estif . My natural Mistress , Upon these Jewels , Sir , they are fair and rich , And view 'em right . Caca. To doubt 'em , is an heresie . Estif . A thousand Duckets , 't is upon necessity Of present use , her Husband , Sir , is stubborn Caca. Long may he be so . Estif . She desires withal a better knowledge of your parts and person , And when you please to do her so much honour . Caca. Come let 's dispatch . Estif . In troth I have heard her say , Sir , Of a fat man she has not seen a sweeter . But in this business , Sir , Cac. Let 's do it first And then dispute , the Ladies use may long for 't . Estif . All secrecy she would desire , she told me How wise you are . Caca. We are not wise to talk thus , Carry her the Gold , I 'le look her out a Jewel , Shall sparkle like her eyes , and thee another , Come prithee come , I long to serve thy Lady , Long monstrously , now valor I shall meet ye , You that dare Dukes . Estif . Green Goose you are now in sippets . [ Exeunt . Enter the Duke , Sanchio , Juan , Alonzo . Duke . He shall not have his will , I shall prevent him , I have a toy here that will turn the tide , And suddenly , and strangely , here Don Juan , Do you present it to him . Juan . I am commanded . Exit . Duke . A fellow founded out of Charity , And moulded to the height , contemn his maker , Curb the free hand that fram'd him ▪ This must not be . Sanc. That such an Oyster-shell should hold a Pearl , And of so rare a price in Prison , Was she made to be the matter of her own undoing , To let a slovenly unweildy fellow , Unruly and self-will'd , dispose her beauties ? We suffer all Sir in this sad Eclipse , She should shine where she might show like her self , An absolute sweetness , to comfort those admire her , And thed her beams upon her friends . We are gull'd all , And all the world will grumble at your patience , If she be ravish't thus . Duke . Ne'r fear it Sanchio , We 'll have her free again , and move at Court In her clear orb : but one sweet handsomness , To bless this part of Spain , and have that slubber'd ? Alon. 'T is every good mans cause , and we must stir in it . Duke . I 'le warrant he shall be glad to please us , And glad to share too , we shall hear anon A new song from him , let 's attend a little . [ Exeunt . Enter Leon , and Juan , with a Commission Leon. Collonel , I am bound to you for this nobleness , I should have been your Officer , 't is true Sir ; And a proud man I should have been to have serv'd you , 'Thas pleas'd the King out of his boundless favours , To make me your companion ; this Commission Gives me a Troop of Horse . Juan . I do rejoyce at it , And am a glad man we shall gain your company , I am sure the King knows you are newly married , And out of that respect gives you more time Sir. Leo. Within 4 days I am gone , so he commands me , And 't is not mannerly for me to argue it , The time grows shorter still , are your goods ready ? Juan . They are aboard . Leon. Who waits there ? Enter Servant . Servant . Sir. Le. Do you hear ho , go carry this unto your Mistris Sir , And let her see how much the King has honour'd me , Bid her be lusty , she must make a Souldier . Exit . Enter Lorenzo . Lorenzo . Sir , Le. Go take down all the hangings , And pack up all my Cloaths , my Plate and Jewels , And all the furniture that 's portable ; Sir when we lye in Garrison , 't is necessary We keep a handsom Port , for the Kings honour ; And do you hear , let all your Ladies wardrobe Be safely plac'd in Trunks , they must along too . Lor. Whither must they go Sir ? Leon. To the Wars , Lorenzo , And you and all , I will not leave a turn-spit , That has one dram of spleen against a Dutchman . Lo. Why then St. Jaques hey , you have made us all Sir , And if we leave ye — does my Lady go too ? Leon. The stuff must go to morrow towards the Sea Sir , All , all must go . Lor. Why Pedro , Vasco , Dego , Come help me , come come boys , Soldadoes , Comrades , We 'll fley these Beer-bellied Rogues , come away quickly . [ Ex. Juan . H 'as taken a brave way to save his honour , And cross the Duke , now I shall love him dearly , By the life of credit thou art a'noble Gentleman . Enter Margarita , led by two Ladies . Le. Why how now wife , what , sick at my preferment ? This is not kindly done . Marg. No sooner love ye , Love ye entirely Sir , brought to consider The goodness of your mind and mine own duty , But lose you instantly , be divorc'd from ye ? This is a cruelty , I 'le to the King ▪ And tell him 't is unjust to part two souls , Two minds so nearly mixt . Leon. By no means sweetheart . Marg. If he were married but four days as I am . Leon. He would hang himself the fifth , or fly his Country . Marg. He would make it Treason for that tongue that durst But talk of War , or any thing to vex him , You shall not go . Leon. Indeed I must sweet Wife . What shall I lose the King for a few kisses ? We 'll have enough . Marg. I 'le to the Duke my Cousin , he shall to th' King . Leon. He did me this great office , I thank his Grace for 't , should I pray him now , To undo 't again ? fye 't were a base discredit . Marg. Would I were able Sir to bear your company , How willing should I be then , and how merry ! I will not live alone . [ knocks within . Leon. Be in peace , you shall not . Mar. What knocking 's this ? oh Heaven my head ; why rascals I think the war 's begun i' th' house already . Leon. The preparation is , they are taking down , And packing up the Hangings , Plate and Jewels , And all those furnitures that shall befit me When I lye in Garrison . Enter Coachman . Coachm. Must the Coach go too Sir ? Leon. How will your Lady pass to th' Sea else easily ? We shall find shipping for 't there to transport it . Marg. I go ? alas ! Leon. I 'le have a main care of ye , I know ye are sickly , he shall drive the easier , And all accommodation shall attend ye . Marg. Would I were able . Leon. Come I warrant ye , Am not I with ye sweet ? are her Cloaths packt up , And all her Linnen ? give your Maids direction , You know my time 's but short , and I am commanded . Marg. Let me have a Nurse , And all such necessary people with me , And an easie bark . Leon. It shall not trot I warrant ye , Curvet it may sometimes . Marg. I am with Child Sir. Leon. At four days warning ? this is something speedy , Do you conceive as our jennets do with a West wind ? My heir will be an arrant fleet one Lady , I 'le swear you were a maid when I first lay with ye . Mar. Pray do not swear , I thought I was a maid too , But we may both be cozen'd in that point Sir. Leon. In such a strait point sure I could not err Madam . Juan . This is another tenderness to try him , Fetch her up now . Mar. You must provide a Cradle , and what a troubles that ? Leon. The Sea shall rock it , 'T is the best nurse ; 't will roar and rock together , A swinging storm will sing you such a lullaby . Marg. Faith let me stay , I shall but shame ye Sir. Leon. And you were a thousand shames you shall along with me , At home I am sure you 'l prove a million , Every man carries the bundle of his sins Upon his own back , you are mine , I 'le sweat for ye . Enter Duke , Alonzo , Sanchio . Duke . What Sir , preparing for your noble journey ? 'T is well , and full of care . I saw your mind was wedded to the War , And knew you would prove some good man for your Country Therefore fair Cousin with your gentle pardon , I got this place : what , mourn at his advancement ? You are to blame , he will come again sweet Cousin , Mean time like sad Penelope and Sage , Amongst your Maids at home , and huswifely . Leon. No Sir , I dare not leave her to that solitariness . She is young , and grief or ill news from those quarters May daily cross her , she shall go along Sir. Duke . By no means Captain . Leon. By all means an 't please ye . Duke . What take a young and tender bodied Lady , And expose her to those dangers , and those tumults , A sickly Lady too ? Leon. 'T will make her well Sir , There 's no such friend to health as wholesom travel . Sanch. Away it must not be . Alon : It ought not Sir , Go hurry her ? it is not humane , Captain . Duke . I cannot blame her tears , fright her with tempests , With Thunder of the War. I dare swear if she were able . Leon. She is most able . And pray ye swear not , she must go , there 's no remedy , Nor greatness , nor the trick you had to part us , Which I smell too rank , too open , too evident , ( And I must tell you Sir , t is most unnoble ) Shall hinder me : had she but ten hours life , Nay less , but two hours , I would have her with me , I would not leave her same to so much ruine , To such a desolation and discredit As her weakness and your hot will wou'd work her too . Enter Perez . What Masque is this now ? More Troops and Figures , to abuse my sufferance , What Cousin's this ? Juan . Michael van owle , how dost thou ? In what dark Barn or tod of aged Ivy Hast thou lain hid ? Perez . Things must both ebb and flow , Collonel , And people must conceal , and shine again . You are welcom hither as your friend may say , Gentlemen , A pretty house ye see handsomely seated , Sweet and convenient walks , the Waters crystal . Alon. He 's certain mad . Juan . As mad as a French Taylor , That has nothing in 's head but ends of Fustians . Perez . I see you are packing now my gentle Cousin , And my Wife told me I should find it so ; 'T is true I do , you were merry when I was last here , But 't was your will to try my patience , Madam . I am sorry that my swift occasions Can let you take your pleasure here no longer , Yet I would have you think my honour'd Cousin , This house and all I have are all your servants . Leon. What house , what pleasure Sir , what do you mean ? Per. You hold the jest so stiff , 't will prove discourteous , This house I mean , the pleasures of this place . Leon. And what of them ? Perez . They are mine Sir , and you know it , My wife 's I mean , and so conferr'd upon me , The Hangings Sir I must entreat , your servants , That are so busie in their offices , Again to minister to their right uses , I shall take view o' th' Plate anon , and Furnitures That are of under place ; you are merry still Cousin , And of a pleasant constitution , Men of great fortunes make their mirths at placitum . Leon. Prithee good stubborn Wife , tell me directly , Good evil Wife leave fooling and tell me honestly , Is this my Kinsman ? Marg. I can tell ye nothing . Leon. I have many Kinsmen , but so mad a one , And so phantasick — all the house ? Perez . All mine , And all within it . I will not bate ye an ace on 't . Can you not receive a noble courtesie , And quietly and handsomely as ye ought Couz , But you must ride o' th' top on 't ? Leon Canst thou fight ? Per. I 'le tell ye presently , I could have done Sir. Leon. For we must law and claw before we get it . Juan . Away no quarrels . Leon. Now I am more temperate , I 'le have it prov'd if you were never yet in Bedlam , Never in love , for that 's a lunacy , No great state left ye that you never lookt for , Nor cannot mannage , that 's a rank distemper ? That you were christen'd , and who answer'd for ye , And then I yield . Perez . H 'as half perswaded me I was bred i' th' moon , I have ne'r a bush at my breech , are not we both mad , And is not this a phantastick house we are in , And all a dream we do ? will ye walk out Sir , And if I do not beat the presently Into a sound belief , as sense can give thee , Brick me into that wall there for a chimney piece , And say I was one o' th' Caesars , done by a Seal-cutter . Leon. I 'le talk no more , come we 'll away immediately . Marg. Why then the House is his , and all that 's in it , I 'le give away my Skin but I 'le undo ye , I gave it to his Wife , you must restore Sir , And make a new provision . Per. Am I mad now , or am I Christen'd , you my pagan Cousin . My mighty mahound Kinsman , what quirk now ? You shall be welcom all , I hope to see Sir Your Grace here , and my Couz , we are all Souldiers , And must do naturally for one another . Duke . Are ye blank at this ? then I must tell ye Sir , Ye have no command , now ye may go at pleasure And ride your Ass Troop , 't was a trick I us'd To try you jealousie upon entreaty , And saving of your Wife . Leon. All this not moves me , Nor stirs my gall , nor alters my affections , You have more furniture , more houses Lady , And rich ones too , I will make bold with those , And you have Land i' th' Indies as I take it , Thither we 'll go , and view a while those Climates , Visit your Factors there , that may betray ye , 'T is done , we must go . Marg. Now thou art a brave Gentleman , And by this sacred light I love thee dearly . The house is none of yours , I did but jest Sir , Nor you are no Couz of mine , I beseech ye vanish , I tell you plain , you have no more right than he Has , that senseless thing , your wife has once more fool'd ye : Go ye and consider . Leon. Good morrow my sweet cousin , I should be glad Sir. Per. By this hand she dies for 't , Or any man that speaks for her . [ Ex. Per. Juan . These are fine Toyes . Mar. Let me request you stay but one poor month , You shall have a Commission and I 'le go too , Give me but will so far . Leon. Well I will try ye , Good morrow to your Grace , we have private business . Duke . If I miss the again , I am an arrant bungler . Juan . Thou shalt have my command and I 'le march under thee , Nay be thy boy before thou shalt be baffled , Thou art so brave a fellow . Alonz. I have seen Visions . [ Exeunt ' ACT V. SCENE I. Enter Leon , with a Letter , and Margarita . Leon. COme hither Wife do you know this hand ? Marg. I do Sir , 'T is Estifania , that was once my woman . Leon. She writes to me here , that one Cacafogo An usuring Jewellers Son ( I know the Rascal ) Is mortally faln in love with ye . Marg. Is a monster , deliver me from Mountains . Leon. Do you go a birding for all sorts of people ? And this evening will come to ye and shew ye Jewels , And offers any thing to get access to ye , If I can make or sport or profit on him , ( For he is fit for both ) she bids me use him , And so I will , be you conformable , and follow but my will. Marg. I shall not fail , Sir. Leon. Will the Duke come again do you think ? Marg. No sure Sir , H 'as now no policy to bring him hither . Leon. Nor bring you to him , if my wit hold fair wife : Let 's in to dinner . [ Exeunt . Enter Perez . Per. Had I but lungs enough to bawl sufficiently , That all the queans in Christendom might hear me , That men might run away from contagion , I had my wish ; would it were most high Treason , Most infinite high , for any man to marry , I mean for any man that would live handsomly , And like a Gentleman , in his wits and credit . What torments shall I put her to , Phalaris bull now ? Pox they love bulling too well , tho they smoak for 't . Cut her apieces ? every piece will live still , And every morsel of her will do mischief ; They have so many lives , there 's no hanging of 'em ; They are too light to drown , they are cork and feathers ; To burn too cold , they live like Salamanders ; Under huge heeps of Stones to bury her , And so depress her as they did the Giants ; She will move under more than built old Babel , I must destroy her . Enter Cacafogo , with a Casket . Cac. Be cozen'd by a thing of clouts , a she moth , That every Silkmans shop breeds ; to be cheated , And of a thousand Duckets by a whim wham ? Per. Who 's that is cheated , speak again thou vision , But art thou cheated ? minister some comfort : Tell me directly art thou cheated bravely ? Come , prithee come , art thou so pure a Coxcomb . To be undone ? do not dissemble with me , Tell me I conjure thee . Cac. Then keep thy circle , For I am a spirit wild that flies about thee , And who e're thou art , if thou be'st humane , I 'le let thee plainly know , I am cheated damnably . Per. Ha , ha , ha . Cac. Dost thou laugh ? damnably , I say most damnably . Per. By whom , good spirit speak , speak ha , ha , ha . Cac. I will utter , laugh till thy lungs crack , by a rascal Woman , A lewd , abominable , and plain Woman . Dost thou laugh still ? Perez . I must laugh , prithee pardon me ; I shall laugh terribly . Caca. I shall be angry , terribly angry , I have cause . Perez . That 's it , and 't is no reason but thou shouldst be angry , Angry at heart , yet I must laugh still at thee . By a Woman cheated ? art sure it was a Woman ? Caca. I shall break thy head , my valour itches at thee . Perez . It is no matter , by a Woman cozen'd , A real Woman ? Caca. A real Devil , Plague of her Jewels and her copper Chains , How rank they smell . Per. Sweet cozen'd Sir let me see them , I have been cheated too , I would have you note that , And lewdly cheated , by a woman also , A scurvy woman , I am undone sweet Sir , Therefore I must have leave to laugh . Caca. Pray ye take it , You are the merriest undone man in Europe . What need we Fiddles , bawdy Songs , and Sack , When our own miseries can make us merry ? Perez . Ha , ha , ha . I have seen these Jewels , what a notable penniworth Have you had next your heart ? you will not take Sir Some twenty Duckets ? Caca. Thou art deceiv'd , I will take . Perez . To clear your bargain now . Caca. I 'le take some ten , some any thing , some half ten , Half a Ducket . Perez . An excellent lapidary , set these stones sure , Do you mark their Waters ? Caca. Quick-sand choak thei waters , And hers that brought 'em too , but I shall find her . Perez . And so shall I , I hope , but do not hurt her , You cannot find in all this Kingdom , ( If you had need of cozening , as you may have , For such gross natures will desire it often , 'T is as some time too a fine variety , ) A woman that can cozen ye so neatly , She has taken half ●ine anger off with this trick . [ Exit . Caca. If I were valiant now , I would kill this fellow , I have money enough lies by me at a pinch I 'le to this Lady , there I shall be satisfied . [ Exit . Enter Leon , and Margarita . Leon. Come we 'll away unto your Country house , And there we 'll learn to live contently , This place is full of charge , and full of hurry , No part of sweetness dwells about these Cities . Marg. Whither you will , I wait upon your pleasure ; Live in a hollow Tree Sir , I 'le live with ye . Leon. I , now you strike a harmony , a true one , When your obedience waits upon your Husband , And your sick Will aims at the care of honour , Why now I dote upon ye , love ye dearly , And my rough nature falls like roaring streams , Clearly and sweetly into your embraces . O what a Jewel is a woman excellent , A wise , a vertuous and a noble Woman ! When we meet such , we bare our stamps on both sides , And thro the World we hold our currant virtues , Alone we are single medals , only faces , And wear our fortunes out in useless shadows ; Command you now , and ease me of that trouble , I 'le be as humble to you as a servant , Bid whom you please , invite your noble friends , They shall be welcom all , visit acquaintance , Go at your pleasure , now experience Has link't you fast unto the chain of goodness ▪ What noise is this , what dismal cry ? Clashing swords . A cry within , down with their swords . Marg. 'T is loud too . Sure there 's some mischief done i' th' street , look out there . Leon. Look out and help . Enter a Servant . Serv. Oh Sir the Duke Medina . Leon What of the Duke Medina ? Serv. Oh sweet Gentleman is almost slain . Mar. Away , away and help him , all the house help . [ Exit Servant . Leon. How slain ? why Margarita , Why Wife , sure some new device they have a foot again , Some trick upon my credit , I shall meet it , I had rather guide a Ship Imperial Alone , and in a storm , than rule one Woman Enter Duke , Marg. Sanchio , Alonzo , Servant . Marg. How came ye hurt Sir ? Duke . I fell out with my friend the noble Collonel , My cause was nought , for 't was about your honour : And he that wrongs the innocent ne'r prospers , And he has left me thus for charity , Lend me a bed to ease my tortur'd body , That e're I perish I may show my penitence I fear I am slain . Leon. Help Gentlemen to carry him , There shall be nothing in this house my Lord , But as your own . Duke . I thank ye noble Sir , Leon. To bed with him , and Wife give your attendance . Enter Juan . Juan . Doctors and Surgeons . Duke . Do not disquiet me , But let me take my leave in peace . [ Ex. Duke , Sanchio , Alon. Marg. Servant . Leon. Afore me , 'T is rarely counterfeited . Juan . True , it is so Sir , And take you heed , this last blow do not spoil ye , He is not hurt , only we made a scuffle , As tho we purpos'd anger ; that same scratch On 's hand he took , to colour all and draw compassion , That he might get into your house more cunningly . I must not stay , stand now , and y' are a brave fellow . Leon. I thank ye noble Collonel , and I honour ye . Never be quiet ? Ex. Juan Enter Margarita . Marg. He 's most desperate ill Sir , I do not think these ten months will recover him . Leon. Does he hire my house to play the fool in , Or does it stand on Fairy ground , we are haunted , Are all men and their wives troubled with dreams thus ? Marg. What ail you Sir ? Leon. What ail you sweet Wife , To put these daily pastines on my patience ? What dost thou see in me , that I should suffer thus , Have not I done my part like a true Husband , And paid some desperate debts you never look'd for ? Marg. You have done handsomely I must confess Sir. Leon. Have I not kept thee waking like a Hawk ? And watcht thee with delights to satisfy thee ? The very tithes of which had won a Widow . Marg. Alas I pity ye . Leon. Thou wilt make me angry , Thou never saw'st me mad yet . Marg. You are always , You carry a kind of Bedlam still about ye . Leon. If thou pursuest me further I run stark mad If you have more hurt Dukes or Gentlemen , To lye here on your cure , I shall be desperate , I know the trick , and you shall feel I know it , Are ye so hot that no hedge can contain ye ? I 'le have thee let blood in all the veins about thee , I 'le have thy thoughts found too , and have them open'd , Thy spirits purg'd , for those are they that fire ye , Thy maid shall be thy Mistress , thou the maid , And all those servile labours that she reach at , And go thro cheerfully , or else sleep empty , That maid shall lye by me to teach you duty , You in a pallat by to humble ye , And grieve for what you lose . Marg. I have lost my self Sir. And all that was my base self , disobedience , [ kneels My wantonuess , my stubborness I have lost too , And now by that pure faith good Wives are crown'd with , By your own nobleness . Enter Altea . Leon. I take ye up , and wear ye next my heart , See you be worth it . Now what with you ? Altea . I come to tell my Lady , There is a fulsome fellow would fain speak with her . Leon. 'T is Cacafogo , go and entertain him , And draw him on with hopes . Marg. I shall observe ye . Leon. I have a rare design upon that Gentleman , And yon must work too . Altea . I shall Sir most willingly . Leon Away then both , and keep him close in some place From the Dukes sight , and keep the Duke in too . Make 'em believe both , I 'le find time to cure'em . [ Exeunt . Enter Perez , and Estifania with a Pistol , and a Dagger . Perez . Why how darst thou meet me again thou rebel , And knowst how thou hast used me thrice , thou rascal ? Were there not ways enough to fly my vengeance , No holes nor vaults to hide thee from my fury , But thou must meet me face to face to kill thee ? I would not seek thee to destroy thee willingly , But now thou comest to invite me , And comest upon me , How like a Sheep-biting Rogue taken i' th' manner , Aud ready for the Halter dost thou look now ? Thou hast a hanging look thou scurvy thing , hast ne'r a knife Nor ever a string to lead thee to Elysium ? Be there no pitiful 'Pothecaries in this Town , That have compassion upon wretched Women , And ' dare administer a dram of Rats-bane , But hou must fall to me ? Estif . I know you have mercy . Per. If I had tuns of mercy thou deserv'st none , What new trick is now a foot , and what new Houses Have you i' th' air , what Orchards in apparition , What canst thou say for thy life ? Estif . Little or nothing , I know you 'll kill me , and I know 't is useless To beg for mercy , pray let me draw my book out , And pray a little . Per. Do , a very little , For I have farther business than thy killing , I have money yet to borrow , speak when you are ready . [ shews a Pistol . Estif . Now , now Sir , now , Come on , do you start off from me , Do you swear great Captain , have you seen a spirit ? Per. Do you wear Guns ? Estif . I am a Souldiers Wife , Sir , And by that priviledge I may be arm'd , Now what 's the news , and let 's discourse more friendly , And talk of our affairs in peace . Per. Let me see , Prithee let me see thy Gun , 't is a very pretty one . Estif . No no , Sir , you shall feel . Per. Hold ye villain , what thine own Husband ? Estif . Let mine own Husband then Be in 's own wits , there , there 's a thousand Duckets , Who must provide for you , and yet you 'll kill me . Per. I will not hurt thee for ten thousand millions . Estif . When will you redeem your Jewels , I have pawn'd 'em You see for what , we must keep touch . Perez . I 'le kiss thee , And get as many more , I 'le make thee famous , Had we the house now ! Estif . Come along with me , If that be vanish't there be more to hire Sir. Per. I see I am an Ass when thou art near me . Enter Leon , Margarita , and Altea , with a Taper . Leon. Is the fool come ? Altea . Yes , and i' th' Cellar fast , And there he stays his good hour till I call him , He will make dainty musick among the Sack-butts , I have put him just , Sir , under the Dukes Chamber . Leon. It is the better . Altea . Has given me royally , And to my Lady a whole load of Portigues . Leon. Better and better still , go Margarita , Now play your prize , you say you dare be honest , I ▪ le put ye to your best . Marg. Secure your self Sir , give me the Candle , Pass away in silence . [ Ex. Leon and Altea . She knocks . Duke . Who 's there , oh oh . Marg My Lord. Duke within . Have ye brought me comfort ? Marg. I have my Lord , Come forth , t is I , come gently out I 'le help ye . Enter Duke , in a Gown . Come softly too , how do you ? Duke . Are there none here ? Let me look round ; we cannot be too wary , noise below . Oh let me bless this hour , are you alone sweet friend ? Marg. Alone to comfort you . Cacafogo makes a noise below . Duke . What 's that you tumble ? I have heard a noise this half hour under me , A fearful noise . Marg. The sat thing 's mad i' th' Cellar , And ftumbles from one Hogs-head to another , Two cups more , and he ne'r shall find the way out . What do you fear ? come , sit down by me chearfully , My Husband 's safe , how do your wounds ? Duke . I have none Lady , My wounds I counterfeited cunningly , noise below . And feign'd the quarrel too , to injoy you sweet , Let 's lose no time , hark the same noise again . Marg. What noise , why look ye pale ? I hear no stirring , This goblin in the Vault will be so tippled . You are not well I know by your flying fancy , Your body 's ill at ease , your wounds . Duke . I have none , I am as lusty and as full of health , High in my blood . Marg. Weak in your blood you would say , How wretched is my case , willing to please ye , And find you so disable ? Duke . Believe me Lady . Marg. I know you will venture all you have to satisfy me , Your life I know , but is it fit I spoil ye , Is it my love do you think ? Caca. below . Here 's to the Duke Duke . It nam'd me certainly , heard it plainly sound . Marg. You are hurt mortally , And sitter for your prayers Sir , than pleasure , What starts you make ? I would not kiss you wantonly , For the Worlds wealth ; have I secur'd my Husband , And put all doubts aside to be deluded ? Caca. below . I come , I come . Duke . Heaven bless me . Marg. And bless us both , for sure this is the Devil , I plainly heard it now , he will come to fetch ye , A very spirit , for the spoke under ground , And spoke to you just as you would have snatcht me , You are a wicked man , and sure this haunts ye , Would you were out o' th house . Duke . I would I were , O'th at condition I had leapt a window . Marg. And that 's the least leap if you mean to scape Sir , Why what a frantick man were you to come here , What a weak man to counterfeit deep wounds , To wound another deeper ? Duke . Are you honest then ? Marg. Yes then and now , and ever , and excellent honest , And exercise this pastime but to shew ye , Great men are fools sometimes as well as wretches . Would you were well hurt , with any hope of life , Cut to the Brains , or run clean thro the body , To get out quietly as you got in Sir , I wish it like a friend that loves you dearly , For if my Husband take ye , and take ye thus a counterfeit ; One that would clip his credit out of his honour , He must kill ye presently , There is no mercy nor an hour of pity , And for me to entreat in such an agony , Would shew me little better than one guilty , Have you any mind to a Lady now ? Duke . Would I were off fair , If ever Lady caught me in a trap more . Marg. If you be well and lusty , fie , fie , shake not , You say you love me , come , come bravely now , Despise all danger , I am ready for ye . Duke . She mocks my misery , thou cruel Lady . Marg. Thou cruel Lord , wouldst thou betray my honesty , Betray it in mine own house , wrong my Husband , Like a night Thief , thou darst not name by day-night ? Duke . I am most miserable . Marg. You are indeed , And like a foolish thing you have made your self so , Could not your own discretion tell ye Sir , When I was married I was none of yours ? Your Eyes were then commanded to look off me , And I now stand in a circle and secure , Your spells nor power can never reach my body , Mark me but this , and then Sir be most miserable , 'T is sacriledge to violate a Wedlock , You rob two Temples , make your self twice guilty , You ruine hers , and spot her noble Husbands . Duke . Let me be gone , I 'le never more attempt ye . Mar. You cannot go , 't is not in me to save ye , Dare ye do ill , and poorly then shrink under it ? Were I the Duke Medina , I would fight now , For you must fight and bravely , it concerns you , You do me double wrong if you sneak off Sir , And all the world would say I lov'd a coward , And you must dye too , for you will be kill'd , And leave your youth , your honour and your state , And all those dear delights you worship'd here . Noise below . Duke . The noise again ! Cacaf. below . Some small Beer if you love me . Mar. The Devil haunts you sure , your sins are mighty , A drunken Devil too , to plague your villany . Duke . Preserve me but this once . Marg. There 's a deep Well In the next yard , if you dare venture drowning , It is but death . Duke . I would not dye so wretchedly . Marg. Out of a Garret window I 'le let you down then , But say the rope be rotten , 't is huge high too . Duke . Have you no mercy ? Marg. Now you are frighted throughly , And find what 't is to play the fool in folly . And see with clear eyes your detested folly , I 'le be your guard . Duke . And I 'le be your true servant , Ever from this hour vertuously to love ye , Chastly and modestly to look upon ye , And here I seal it . Marg. I may kiss a stranger , for you must now be so , Enter Leon , Juan , Alonzo , Sanchio , Leon. How do you my Lord , Methinks you look but poorly on this matter . Has my Wife wounded ye , you were well before , Pray Sir be comforted , I have forgot all , Truly forgiven too , Wife you are a right one , And now with unknown Nations I dare trust ye . Juan . No more feign'd fights my Lord , they never prosper . Leon. Who 's this ? the Devil in the vault ? Alt. 'T is he Sir , and as lovingly drunk , as tho he had studied it . Caca. Give me a cup of Sack , and kiss me Lady , Kiss my sweet face , and make thy Husband Cuckold , An Ocean of sweet Sack , shall we speak Treason ? Leon. He is Devilish drunk . Duke . I had thought he had been a Devil , He made as many noises and as horrible . Leon. Oh a true lover Sir will lament loudly , Which of the Butts is your Mistress ? Caca. Butt in thy belly . Leon. There 's two in thine I am sure , 't is grown so monstrous . Caca. Butt in thy face . Leon. Go carry him to sleep , A fools love should be drunk , he has paid well for 't too . When he is sober let him out to rail , Or hang himself , there will be no loss of him . [ Exit Caca. and Servant . Enter Perez , and Estifania . Leon. Who 's this ? my Mauhound Cousin ? Per. GOod Sir , 't is very good , would I had a house too , For there is no talking in the open Air , My Tarmagant Cuz , I would be bold to tell ye , I durst be merry too ; I tell you plainly , You have a pretty seat , you have the luck on 't , A pretty Lady too , I have mist both , My Carpenter built in a mist I thank him , Do me the courtesy to let me see it , See it but once more . But I shall cry for anger . I 'le hire a Chandlers Shop close under ye , And for my foolery , sell Sope and Whip-cord , Nay if you do not laugh now and laugh heartily , You are a fool Cuz . Leon. I must laugh a little , And now I have done , Cuz thou shalt live with me , My merry Cuz , the World shall not divorce us , Thou art a valiant man , and thou shalt never want , Will this content thee ? Per. I 'le cry , and then I 'le be thankful , Indeed I will , and I 'le be honest to ye . I would live a swallow here I must confess . Wife I forgive thee all if thou be honest , At thy peril , I believe thee excellent . Estif . If I prove otherways , let me beg first , Hold , this is yours , some recompence for service , Use it to nobler ends than he that gave it . Duke . And this is yours , your true commission Sir , Now you are a Captain . Leon. You are a noble Prince Sir , And now a Souldier , Gentleman , we all rejoyce in 't . Juan . Sir , I shall wait upon you thro all fortunes . Alon. And I. Altea . And I must needs attend my mistress . Leon. Will you go Sister ? Altea . Yes indeed good Brother , I have two ties , mine own blood , And my Mistress . Marg. Is she your Sister ? Leon. Yes indeed good Wife , And my best Sister , For she prov'd so , wench , When she deceiv'd you with a loving Husband . Alt. I would not deal so truly for a stranger . Marg. Well I could chide ye , But it must be lovingly and like a Sister , I 'le bring you on your way , and feast ye nobly , For now I have an honest heart to love ye , And then deliver you to the blue Neptune . Ju. Your colours you must wear , and wear 'em proudly , Wear 'em before the bullet , and in blood too , And all the World shall know We are Vertues servants . Duke . And all the world shall know , a noble mind Makes Women beautiful , and envy blind . Exeunt . EPILOGUE . Good night our worthy friends , and may you part Each with as merry and as free a heart , As you came hither ; to those noble eyes , That deign to smile on our poor faculties , And give a blessing to our labouring ends , As we hope many , to such fortune sends Their own desires , Wives fair as light as chaste ; To those that live by spight Wives made in haste . FINIS .