A13427	----	A briefe remembrance of all the English monarchs with their raignes, deaths, and places of buriall : from the Normans Conquest, vnto Our Most Gratious Soueraigne / by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1622 Approx. 2 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 1 1-bit group-IV TIFF page image. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2008-09 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13427 STC 23738.5 ESTC S1145 21464697 ocm 21464697 23996 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13427) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 23996) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1737:2) A briefe remembrance of all the English monarchs with their raignes, deaths, and places of buriall : from the Normans Conquest, vnto Our Most Gratious Soueraigne / by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1 sheet ([3] p.). Printed by George Eld, London : 1622. Advertisement. "The sheet is divided into 4 quarters, the bottom 2 containing the title and verses on Prince Charles reimposed from [STC] 23738. The upper left has an engraving of the royal arms, while the upper right is cut away. It may have contained a full-length portrait of Prince Charles."--STC (2nd ed.). Reproduction of original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Great Britain -- Kings and rulers. 2007-08 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2007-08 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2007-09 Elspeth Healey Sampled and proofread 2007-09 Elspeth Healey Text and markup reviewed and edited 2008-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion HONI SOIT QVI MALY PENSE . A BRIEFE REMEMBRANCE OF ALL THE ENGLISH MONARCHS , VVith their raignes , deaths , and places of buriall : From the Normans Conquest , vnto our most gratious Soueraigne . By IOHN TAYLOR . LONDON , Printed by GEORGE ELD , 1622. The most Illustrious Prince CHARLES , Prince of Great Britaine and Ireland , Duke of Cornwall , Yorke , and Albany ; Earle of Ch●ster , and Knight of the most Noble Order of the Garter , &c. ILlustrious Off spring of most glorious Sten● , Our happy hope , our Royall CHARLES the great , Successiue H●y e to foure rich Diadems , With gifts of Grace and Learning ●●gh repleat . For thee th' Almighties aid I doe m●●●at , To guide and prosper thy proceedings still , That long thou maist suruiue a Prince compleat , To guard the good , and to subuert the ill . And when ( by Gods determin'd boundlesse will ) Thy gra●ious Father shall immortall be , Then let thy 〈◊〉 ( ●ike his ) the world fulfill , That thou maist ●oy in vs , and we in thee . And all true Britaines pray to God aboue , To match thy life and fortune with their loue , FINIS . 
A13417	----	An armado, or nauy, of 103. ships & other vessels, who haue the art to sayle by land, as well as by sea morally rigd, mand, munition'd, appoynted, set forth, and victualled, with 32. sortes of ling, with other prouisions of fish & flesh / by John Taylor ; the names of the ships, are in the next page. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1627 Approx. 57 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 21 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-10 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13417 STC 23726A ESTC S1369 19943838 ocm 19943838 23546 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13417) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 23546) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1717:9) An armado, or nauy, of 103. ships & other vessels, who haue the art to sayle by land, as well as by sea morally rigd, mand, munition'd, appoynted, set forth, and victualled, with 32. sortes of ling, with other prouisions of fish & flesh / by John Taylor ; the names of the ships, are in the next page. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [54] p. : ill. Printed by E.A. for H. Gosson, London : 1627. "A fanciful commentary on society under the figures of 'ships', i.e., lordship, scholarship, courtship, etc."--NUC pre-1956 imprints. Signatures: A-C⁸ D⁴ (last leaf blank). Imperfect: cropped, with slight loss of print. Reproduction of original in the Bodleian Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Character sketches. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-06 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2003-04 SPi Global Rekeyed and resubmitted 2005-03 Rachel Losh Sampled and proofread 2005-03 Rachel Losh Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-04 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion ¶ An Armado , or Nauy , of 103. Ships & other Vessels ; who haue the Art to Sayle by Land , as well as by Sea. Morally Rigd , Mand , Munition'd , Appoynted , Set forth , and Victualled , with 32. sortes of Ling : with other Prouisions of Fish & Flesh. By John Taylor . The Names of the Ships , are in the next Page . Anno Millimo , quillimo , trillimo . LONDON , Printed by E. A. for H. Gosson . 1627. ¶ The names of the Ships , with the number of their Squadrons . 1 The Lord-SHIP wh●se Squadron were of Ships & other Vessels , 12. in al. 2 The Scholler-SHIP with 10. others in all . 3 The Lady-SHIP , with 12. others . 4 The Goodfellow SHIP , with 12. others . 5 The Appprentice SHIP , with 4. others . 6 The Court-SHIP , with 11. others . 7 The Friend-SHIP , with 4. others . 8 The Fellow-SHIP , with 5. others . 9 The Footman-SHIP , with 5. others . 10 The Horsman-SHIP , with 4. others . 11 The Surety-SHIP , with 7. others . 12 The Wor-SHIP , with 3. others . 13 The Wood-man-SHIP , with 7. others . Besides , there were 7. other needlesse Ships which were in the nature of voluntaries , or hangers on vpon the Nauy , ●s namely , The Mary Cary-Knaue , the Knaues - 〈◊〉 , the Superfluous , the Carelesse , the Idle , the Coxcombe ▪ the Braggard . And what man soeuer he be , that hath , or doth not sayle in some one Ship of this my Fleete , Let him come to me and I will Ship him , and allow him double wages TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVLLL , AND truely Generous Sir IOHN FEARNE Knight . Noble Sir , THe world sufficiently knowes that you ●nowewhat Ships and shipping are ; that you haue pl●w●d the dangerous O can , and surrowed ouer the rugged bosome of Neptune : yet neuerthelesse I know that you neuer 〈◊〉 notice of my old and weather-beaten 〈…〉 , being bu●lt with●ut either tymber or Iron , rig'd without ropes or ●●rdage , whose Ordinance are discharged without 〈◊〉 or pouder , whose victuals are ●●the bread , drinke , fish , flesh , or good Red-●erring , whose voyages are 〈◊〉 performed with wind and water , yet euer in action like a perpetual motion ; but when you shall please to sauour me so much as to peruse and suruay my strange Fleet or Armado , you will then perceiue that your selfe hath sayled in ( or at the least ) boarded most of my Ships of note : for you are well acquainted with the LORDSHIP , you are a friend to the SCHOLLERSHIP , you haue layd the LADISHIP aboard , you haue entred the APRENTISHIP , you are well knowne in the COVRTSHIP , you haue saild in the Good - FELLOWSHIP , you loue the FRIENDSHIP , you affect the FELLOWSHIP , you know the Foote-man - SHIP , you are skild in the HORS-MAN-SHIP , you haue had a principall Cabin in the SVRETISHIP , you haue surpris'd & taken the WORSHIP , and you know what belongs to the WOOD-MANSHIP , the WARDSHIP , and STEWARDSHIP ; I due for some reasons not meddle with all , and I thinke you haue sildome or neuer had any dealings with them : the some of all is , I most humbly desire your Worships pardon , for my abrupt Dedication , assuring you that it was onely my loue and dutie that put me on , without any expectance of Patronage , protection or reward : and so with my best wishes for the perpetuity of your present and euer future felicity , I rest , Your Worships to command whilst I haue being , IO : TAYLOR . The description how the whole Nauy is victualled with thirty two sortes of Ling , besides other necessaries . FIrst , thirty thousand couple of Change-LING , appointed onely for the dyet of such fellowes who had honest parents , and are themselues changed into very Rascals . Secondly Dar-LING , this fish was dearer then fresh Salmon ( for it was consecrated to the Goddesse Venus ) it was of that high price that some men haue consumed their whole Lordships , Manners & credit , in two or three yeares onely in this kind of dyet , therefore it is not a dish for euery mans tooth , for none but braue Sparkes , rich heires , Clarissimoes and Magnificoes , would goe to the cost of it . Thirdly , Shaue-LING , which was only for the dyet of Priests , Monks , & Fryers . Fourthly , Fond-LING , this fish was for Cockneys , and other pretty youths , ouer whom their parents were so tender , that a man might perceiue by their manners , they had beene better fed then taught . Fi●tly , Tip-LING , a dish for all men . Sixtly , Vnder-LING , this fish was ship'd for witty younger brothers , poore Schollers that hath neither friends or money . Seauenthly , Starue-LING , this Ling was onely for the Barke beggerly , which was man'd with old discarded Seruing-men , and maymed cassiered Soldiers and Mariners . Eightly , Strip-LING , prouided for Pages , Lackeyes , and Foot-boyes . Ninethly , Foo-LING , a dish for euery mans dyet , Tenthly , Swad-LING , against stomacke , but yet a dish of good vse . Eleuenth , Grumb-LING , a discontented kind of fish for the poorer sorte of people to chaw vpon , for when they doe thinke themselues wrong'd by their Superiours and dare not vtter their minds openly , then they feed vpon Grumb-LING . Twelfth , Wrang-LING , this Ling was salted by 16. Pettifoggers , in a long troublesome Tearme : it is held to bee a lasting dish , and will serue the whole Fleete with their posterities , to the second and third generation . Thirteenth , Troub-LING was prouided by certaine double diligent Constables , to the mollestation of their sleepy watch , and the charge of many a man that would quietly haue gone to their lodging . Fourteenth , Prowe-LING , is a plentifull fish , vpon which many thousands do liue , but by vsing it too much , it choakes a great number : and as fisher-men do baite their hooks with one fish to catch others , so is this Ling ( for the most part ) taken with three other sortes of Ling , as with Iug-LING , Brab-LING , Braw-LING , vntill by hooke or by crooke it is taken with Ang-LING ; I haue seene many of these Prowle-LING fishermen end their liues like Swans ( in a manner singing ) and sometimes making their wils at Wapping , or looking through a hempen window at St. Th●mas Waterings or the three leg'd instrument neere ●adamg●●n . There were many other sortes of Ling sent to the Nauy which ( to auoid prolixiti● ) I will but name , as Quarrell-LING was for the dyet of some of the Noble Science , some for Roaring boyes , and Rough-hewd Tittery tues . The nineteenth sorte of Ling was Fumb-LING , which is for their dyets who haue beene long maried and can get no children . The twenteeth was Ming-LING , which was for Wine-marchants , Vintners , Brewers , and Apothecaries . Iumb-LING and Tumb-LING , for the keepers and Cupid●an haunters of vaulting houses . Fid LING , Fud-LING , and Stumb-LING from the Schooles of Dauncing , and Drinking . The twenty sixt sorte of Ling was Bung LING , which was the fare of Quack-s●lu●r● , Mountebanckes Ratcatching Watercasters , and also for all bo●●hing Artificers and cobling Trades-men . Mumb-LING was for those that had no need of the Tooth-drawer . Ster-LING money was at such a Scant-LING , Why these Ships are called SHIPS . I haue little to say to the Reader , because I neither know him or his conditions , therefore to auoyde lying and slattry in putting the stiles of Christian , Gentle , courteous , friendly , learned or honest , vpon the Atheiste , barbarous , hatefull , Ignorant , or dishonest , the Reader gets no Epistle at all of me : If he be good and well inclinde it is the better for himselfe , and if otherwise , it shall not be much the worse for me , ther 's the poynt : now the reasons why all these words or names of my Morrall Nauy are called SHIPS , or doe all end with the word or sillable SHIP , as Lord SHIP , Ladye SHIP , Freind SHIP and the like &c. The reasons I take to be these which followeth , and as I imagine most significate ; first the whole life of man is as a SHIP vnder sayle , for , be it either day or night , storme or calme , light or darke , hot or colde , winter or sommer , yet the SHIP is in her course euer going on her voyage : so likewise Man , let him goe , sit , stand , ride , run , worke , play , sleepe or wake , yet he is still going onward in his mortall passage . A SHIP is euer in need of repayring , so is a man eyther in body , minde or goods . A Ship is euer vnsteddy ; a Man is alwayes mutable : Some SHIPS are hard to be steered ; some men are harder to be guided . Some Shipps beare so great a sayle that they beare their Masts by the Board and make all split againe ; some Men doe spread such a Clue in a calme , that a sodaine storme halfe sinkes them and teares all . Some SHIPS are so fauoured by the wind that they make rich voyages , & quicke returnes ; some men are so fortunate that wealth and promotions do fall in their mouthes . Some SHIPS runs through many a storme , with much danger , and yet are so vnlucky that they doe neuer make good voyage ; some Men ( being borne vnder a three peny plannet ) can neither by paines , watching , labour or any industry bee worth a groat . Some SHIPS by being ouerladen haue bene cast away , some men by taking in too much haue bene forc'd to cast all away . SHIPS doe wallow and heaue and set vpon the Sea ; Men do stumble , reele and stigger on the land . Some Ships haue their cracks & imperfections gayly hid with painting ; some Men haue their bad intents coulourd ouer with hippocrisie , and their diseased carkases couered with good clothes . Some SHIPS doe bring profitable commodities , and some bring bables , toyes and tri●les ; some Men doe inrich a kingdome with their wisedome , authority , and practise in vertue : and some men doe disgrace and Impouerish a Monarchy by solly , ill imployed power , and sottishnes in vanity . Some SHIPS will run to leeward extreamly if the wind bee scant , and some againe will brauely beate it out to windward and weather it , so some Men will shrink from their friends or from thēselues , in a storme of trouble or pouerty , and some few agen will beare vp stiffe , constantly contemning & opposing the brunts of fortune . Some SHIPS are taken by others and made prizes ; some Men are captiu'd by others and made slaues . Some SHIPS are commended more for their Bulke & beauty , then for any good seruice ; and some Men are more applauded for their fortunes , then for any good conditions . If I would insist longer on these comparisons , I could enlarge my Induction to the bounds of a Pamphlet : therefore I will conclude it with King Solomons similitude , wisdome 5. C. 10. that mans life passeth as a SHIP that passeth ouer the waues of the water : therefore I wish all men to bee prouided , as good SHIPS should be : let HOPE be their Anker , let Fayth be their Cable , let charity & loue be their Card & Compasse , till they come happily to the Hauen of GRAVESEND , and from thence to that blessed harbour which hath no END . Iohn Smith of his friend Master IOHN TAYLOR and his Armado . ARme , Arme , Arme , Arme , great Neptune rowze , awake And muster vp thy monsters speedily : Boreas vnto thy blustering blasts betake , Guard , guard your selues , from Taylors policy , Rockes , shoales , Lee-shores , oh helpe them Goodwin sands , For this new Fleete runnes ouer Seas and Lands . And 's now so victua'ld , rigd and yarely plyes , It threatens all the waters , ayre and skies , Truth in his Nauy such a power doth leade , The Deuill , Hell , vice and all , the Fleet may dreade . And well it may , if well you vnderstand , So rare a Fleet , was neuer made nor man'd . The Masters name was Petrus Vainglorious , his Mate Hugo Hypocrisy , men that haue Steered the course in the Lord-SHIP many hundred yeares : The Boatswaine and his Mate were Scoffe and Derision , with Gripe the Steward , Auarice the Purser , & Lawrence Delay the Paymaster ; kinsman to Tom Long the Carier : which three last are thought to be very arrant Knaues , who haue spoyld the Gouernment of the whole Ship. In Briefe , the Gunner , Cockswaine , Swabber , and Ship-boyes were plentifully stored with pride , flattery and other the like Gentlemen like vertues . The Ships that went in the same Regiment or Squadron with the Lord-SHIP , were these that followe . Namely . 1 The Ambition , 2 The Presumption , two stout Ships of very lofty Sayle and great Burthen . 3 The Oppression , a Ship of Account and Estimation . 4 The Costly , a Ship of great Charge . 5 The Mutable , a braue Ship , but in no course steddy . 6 The Selfeloue , a great Ship , but of small seruice . 7 The Delight , a faire Ship to the eye . 8 The Hopewell , a Ship of great expectation . 9 The Debt , a Ship of great Burthen and much Receit . 10 The Satisfaction , a large long Ship , a very cart , a slugg and slowe of sayle . 11 The Promise : a Ship very vnsteddy , yet her sayles euerful . The Scholler - SHIP with her Regiment . THis Ship is a very Auncient Ship , and was built at the first , and hath bin euer since Repaired with Infinite cost , paines and Study . Shee hath beene of that worthy Estimation , that the greatest Monarks , Kings , Princes , and Estates of the world , haue made it their chiefest felicity to sayle in her : all famous Diuines and Philosophers haue steered her and beene steered by her . Some of her greatest Mariners haue beene much troubled with plurifies , pluralities I would say , and some haue bene great Marchants a Steeple faire , but it was in the old time when Si - Mony , was as good as ready Mony. The Artes Mathematicall & metaphysicall haue beene the Rich Prizes and Purchases of her Painfull Voyages : and now at this present ( though the world be much altred with her ) She tryes her fortunes in this aduentrous Nauy . The Captaines name was Sapience , the Master Experience , his mate Knowledge , and euery other officer Correspondent , being muniti●nd and victualled for the enterprise shee set sayle , with her squadron or Regiment of Ships here under named . 1 The Serious a Ship laden with Grauitie . 2 The Fore-sight a Ship worthy of much regard . 3 The Desert a Ship of great seruice and small payment . 4 The Industrious ▪ a good profitable Ship. Then there attended her fiue small Pinnaces and Frigots , namely , the Dogmatist , the Captious , the Preiudicate , the Carper , and the Critick . These fiue were man'd with yong Bachelours of Arte , Puny Inns of Courtmen , and humorous Poets , who with their continuall cudgelling one another with broken verses , had almost beaten Priscians braines out . All these three were of most especiall vse and seruice for the Ladyship whose chiefe charge and imployment was to weare , eate , and drinke the best ; and withall not to pester , wrong or oppresse the Fleete , with good examples of directions , The Goofellow - SHIP with her Regiment . THis Ship is very old , and much out of reparations : She hath beene of such vse and imployment , that shee hath sayled into all Countries of the inhabitable world ; she only is the greatest traueller , for there is not a Hauen or Harbour vnder the Sunne , but she hath cast Anker in it . Wine Marchants , Vintners , Brewers & Victuallers , haue thrust themselues into whole Lordships , by the often returnes , lading and vnlading of this Ship ; yet now she is so weather-beaten with the stormes of Time , and so windshaken with too much vse , that through want shee is not able to beare halfe the ●ayle which she formerly hath done . In the golden age , when Saturne raigned , ( long before the two wrangling words Thine & Mine , had set the world together by the eares ) then was the Goodfellow-SHIP in such request , that all estates and conditions sayled in her , then her voyages and quick returnes ( her lading being for the most part hearty loue and true affection ) did maintaine and keepe such vnity , that whosoeuer was not a Mariner or Sayler in her , was esteemed as a Branded stigmatizd infamous person . But at last her Nauigators began to steere another course : for some of them had learned the Arte of couetousnes , and with a deuillish kinde of Bawdrye , cald vsury and extortion , made gold & siluer engender and beget yearely so much and so much in the hundred , when Taylors , like so many wicked Spirits , flew from one Country to another , bringing home more fashions then would kill a hundred thousand horses ; when for the maintenance of those fashions , the Earth was equally shared & deuided amongst the people , ( some all , and some not a foote ) with Hedges , Ditches , Bownds , Mownds , Walls and Markes ; when my Lady Rustye began to take such a thrifty order , that all the meate in the Kitchin should be cheaper , then the washing and Painting of her Visage , ( if you allow the powdring of her bought or borowed Periwig into the bargaine ) when the world came to this passe , then this Good ship , this Good-fellow Ship being forsaken of her best Pilotts , Masters , and Mariners , all her Saylors in little time declined to bee no better then Swabbers , so that through want of skilfull managing and reparation , and with extreme age , shee is nothnig so seruiceable as shee hath beene , yet as shee is , shee sets forward with her best ability in this Voyage . The Captaines name was Hercules Dumplin , a Norffolke Gentleman , the Master Giles Gammon , was borne at Rumford , the rest of the Mariners it were needlesse to name them . The other Ships and vessels that were in the same Regiment with the Good fellowship , were these . 1 THe Drunken Sisse , a great Ship , it is though she was built at Midleborough ; but howsoeuer , shee hath made many voyages into England : she is so beloued , that shee needs not presse any man to serue in her : for all sorts of people doe daily come aboard of her , & freely , and voluntarily offer ster their best seru , ce , so that it is a wonder to see how brauely she is man'd ; and ( many times ) women doe take their turnes at helme , and steere their courses as well as men . She is a Ship contrary to all other Ships , for she rowles , reeles and tumbles , most of all when she is in a calme harbour ; and the more lading she takes in , the more vnstedy she is ; for if the Sea be as calme a milke-pan , ●et is shee euer tossing , which makes her Mariners Sea-sicke , and subiect to much casting . Her Ordinance are Gallons , Pottles , Quarts , Pintes , and the mizers Gallon : with three hoop'd pots , Kannes , Goddards : in the which Artillery , almost euery one hath the skill to charge & discharge , maintaining the fight as long as they can either stand or vnderstand . The Master of her is an Amsterdam'd man , his name is Cornelius van Broaken gulch ; the Master Gunner was one Denis Whirl●poole , a man of Doepe , with Gulph the Purser Swallow the Bot-swaine , and Swill the Steward . 2 The second Ship in the Regiment with the Good-fellow-SHIP , , was the Sow of Flushing , she was a vessell vnseemely to the eye , but yet seruiceable . 3 The Carowse , a Ship of hot seruice , and as the Spider suckes the sweetnesse of the fairest flowers , conuerting their juice into poyson , so the Saylors in this Ship haue taken a vse to drinke other mens healths , to the amplifying of their owne diseases . 4 The Quaffe , a quicke smart Ship , much of the bulke and carriage of the Carrowse . 5 The Biss●e of Breda , a small Ship , yet in continuall seruice , her worst fault is , she is so low built , that her Mariners can hardly keepe themselues drye . 6 The Sleeper of Roterdam , a great Ship of exceeding necessary vse , and much imployment , she is to the whole Regiment , in the nature of an Hospitall or Spittle , for when any of them are wounded , Pot-shot , Iug-bitten , or Cup-shaken , so that they haue lost all reasonable faculties of the minde , and in a manner are so mad , that they dare speake fellony , whistle treason , and call any Magnifico a mungrell ; in such desperat cases as this , the distracted parties are brought aboard the Sleeper , where Time like a good Cloath-worker , with setting a good nap vpon their threed-bare eyes , their wits that were spent and like Notherne Cloth shrunke in the wetting , are speedily recouered . So likewise for the limbs and members of the body , she is the onely , Aesculapian Tabernacle ; and to speake the truth , St. Winifrides Well , the Bath of Spa●● , are not to be compared to this Ship , for speedy ease and cure : for I haue seene many that were so dimsighted , that they could not see their way at noone-day , and others haue beene so defectiue in their speech , that they could not speake one wise word ; and others so lame of their legges , that they could neither goe or stand , and with a few houres lying aboard of this easie Ship , their sights , speech , and legges haue beene all recouered . 7 The Whiffe , a small Pinnace of Varina . 8 The Puffe , a Barke of Virginia . 9 The Vapour , a Frigotte of Trinidado . 10 The Snuffe , a Caruell of Bermoodoes . 11 The Barke Beggerly , before mentioned , man'd with old cashired Soldiers , Mariners , and Seruingmen , Negligent Tradesmen , with some few Courtiers , whose dyet is onely Statue - Ling. The Apprentice - SHIP . THis Ship is very slowe of sayle , so that a man may make two East India voyages , or girdle the terrestriall Globe twice about ( as Sir Francis Drake did once ) before shee can make a returne ; The Compasse whereby she shewes her course is for ( the most part ) in our Troynouantine Ocean , within the sound of Bowe-Bell ; insteed of a Map or Carte , shee is directed by an Indenture , whereby shee hath more knowledge in the time to come , then any Witch or Conjurer ; for by onely looking on it , the least Ship-Boy that 's in her can tell when her voyage will be done ; she is a vessell that is both singular and single , for none but single persons must boord her ; and ( to auoyd double dealing ) , she hath banished Matrimony out of her quarters for seauen yeares or more ; her Mariners doe ( against their wils ) endure much hardnesse , as hunger , thirst , heat , cold , watching , toyle and trauell ; yet many times they are allowed more Lamb and Ribroste then they would haue ; yet by patience and long suffering , many of them doo chance to be preferd ( in time ) to sayle in the Lord-ship , Court-ship , Surety-ship , or some other bottome of Honour or eminency ; for they claime a freedome of all Trades whatsoeuer , and are so mysticall in their diuersities of mysteries , that no one man liuing can describe them : yet for the most part ) waight and measure are their guides , by weight from the Scruple to the Dram , to the Tunne , to the three Tunnes , and to the three hundred thousand millions : and by measure from the halfe quarter Pinte to the whole quarter Sacke ; from lesse then the Inch to the Ell , to the Furlong , to the Firmament , and downe to the bottome of the Celler , to the Ocean and the Tayle●s hell , who indeed are accounted the best bread men in the Shippe , and such as goe through stitch with what they take in hand . There are diuers functions which neuer doe come aboard of this Shippe , as Cuckolds , Wittols , and others which I could name : but to supply these wants , she is seldome vnfurnished of young lying Knaues , Whores , and Theeues , who ( as the cockle growes among the wheate ) doe sayle in the Apprentice-SHIP , and share as much benefit as most of her labouring Mariners . She hath small attendance , for indeed she is the onely bounden seruant in the Nauy , onely there is a sluggish vessell called the Tedious that sayles with her , with foure small Pinnaces , as 1 The Lodge . 2 The Dyet . 3 The Wash . 4 The Wring . And sometime double , single ; or no apparell is allowed to the Saylors when the voyage is ended . The Court - SHIP with her Regiment . COurt-SHIP , is a vessell of Royall and magnificent burthen , of eminent Command , and inuincible force , if she be well man'd , carefully rig'd , discreetly ballac'd and wisely steerd ; she is of that impregnable strength , that neither the stormes of sawcy censure , the Gusts of Mallapart babling , the flawes of Enuy , the Tempests of Temporising tale-bearers , or the smooth calmes of Flattery , can make her sayle to any other Harbour then the famous Ports and Hauens of Vertue , Honour and perpetuall hapines . But ( to vse Sea-tearmes and Phrases ) there are a Crew of vnprofitable Steale-sharers , peremptory Hotshots , idle Flat-sheates , and vnseruiceable vseles Loose-guise , that doe attempt to board this worthie admired Ship , and so hauing boarded her , ( like Drones ) they eate and liue vpon the labours and deserts of the painefull industrious Mariners ; these are the youths that after they haue foysted themselues into so●e meane place or Office , though it be but a Swabber , Lyer or Lyers Mate ( alwayes prouided that they haue sworne themselues into good cloaths ) then let all their acquaintance and friends stand further off , for the●● 〈◊〉 : themselues to be no more mortall , so that a man ha● faire better speake to the Material owner of the Shippe himselfe , then to any of these Pucke-foysts : yet there is 〈◊〉 shew of zeale in their salutation to any one they meete , for the word God s●●e yee , is as common as the Ayre 〈◊〉 ●hem , b●t 〈◊〉 ●●f●ct they neither mind God nor the 〈◊〉 ●hey speake to , and ( like an Ape for an Aple ) they 〈◊〉 kisse their pawe , inuiting a man to their Cabbin , but whosoeuer takes them at their word , they hold him to want manners , and to be a fellow of no breeding . The ignorant Asse that caried the Egyptian Goddesse Isis in procession , ●hen the more ignorant people kneeled downe to adore the 〈◊〉 , the witlesse Asse thought it had beene in reuer●●●●o him : so in like manner these vpstart Ship-boyes . 〈◊〉 once crept into any inferiour Office in the Ship , and 〈◊〉 being couered with silke and good borrowed beaten Sattin , ●●nde and buttered through with Plush or Veluet , they arrogantly imagine , that all the reuerence or respect that men doe either for their vndeserued place , or gawdy out-side , is done to their persons ; but I would haue them vnderstand that they are honoured and worship'd , with the same deuotion as the barbarous Brasilians , Americans and Virginians doe adore the Deuill withall , which is not for the hope of any good which they evpect , but for feare of the hurt which they suppose the Deuill can doe them . The conclusion is , that when a storme or tempeste comes , the Noble , stout , skilfull Nauigator stands to his Tackling , and couragiously applyes himselfe either to Top and yard , Helme and Lead , from Post to stem , and from Prow to Quarter , when all the seruice Monsier Mushrome and his Mate can doe , is either to eate , sleepe , spewe , and stinke , and at last for some notorious or meritorious worke , they are duck'd from the yeard arme of State , into the deep sea of disgrace , and turn'd a shoare like Caines Imps , preferd to their due estates of Runagates and Vagabonds . The Squadron of Ships that went vnder the command of the Court - SHIP . 1 THe Renowne , a Ship of worthy port , strength and burthen , man'd with approued and experienc'd Soldiers and Saylors . 2 The Courage . 3 The Resolution . 4 The Fore●●●ght . 5 The Expedition . 6 The Loyalty . The Perseuerance . Sixe tall Ships of most excellent seruice and performance . 7 The Complement . 8 The Brisbe . 9 The Strange . Three Gallant Pinnaces , but of very small vse , profit or seruice . 10 The Obliuious . A Ship of great burthen and most plentifully man'd , with those that had forgotten their Parents , kindred , friends , birth , estate , breeding , and indeed such as were so farre out of knowledge to knowe any man , that they had no acquaintance of themselues , and being meere strangers to their owne qualities and conditions ; and thus was the Court-SHIP appointed and attended ; much of her great Ordinance , were Promises , the Pouder breath , and ayry performance were the Shot , which by reason of the tossing of the billowes and vnquiet surges of the Sea , did often misse the marke . The Friend - SHIP WAs a Vessell of great account and estimation , Dauid and Ionathan , Damon and Pithias , Pilades and Orestes , Alexander and Lodowicke , Scipio and Lealius , did most louingly and vnfeignedly sayle in her : indeed shee was euer free for all commers of what Country , sexe , age or estate soeuer , for the word Friend importes free end , which is as much as the end and intention of Friend-SHIP is free : In these latter times , she should haue gone to Sea , but there were not men to be gotten to man her , so for a shift they were faine to furnish her with Kinred , Nunkles , and Couzins , with here and there a false Brother : Herod , and Pilate went aboard this Ship ( with a shamefull deale of loue from the teeth outward ) but their purpose was to destroy innocent blood . It was a merry world when Fidelitie was Master of this Ship , Constancie his Mate , and Plaine-dealing the Botswaine : but those worthy Mariners are dead , and an old Prouerbe as sure as Checke with them : in a word , the old Ship is decayd and rotten , hauing onely the bare name left , for she is so much past seruice , that she can hardly steere or beare sayle , with an aduerse contrarie gale , shee will fall to Leeward most abominably , yet with a prosperous and fortunate winde , she will spread all her Canuasse exceeding faire and hipocriticall , and so I 'le describe no further , because shee is growne to that cheape rate , that a man may haue her a Bellingsgate for a box on the care . The Friend-SHIP had two very small Pinnaces in her Squadron : named , he is called and esteemed a man of good Foote-man-SHIP , which word Annagramatiz'd is Foe to Man-SHIP , importing that running away is an enemy or foe to Man-hood , valour and resolution , ( thus much by way of Paradox . ) Let the winde blowe where it will , yet all weathers this Ship sayles a Trot , her light-footed , nimble-hee●d Mariners ( like so many dancers ) capring in the Pumpes and vanities of this sinfull world , sometimes a Morrisca or Trenchmore of 40. miles long , to the Tune of Dusty my deere , Dirty come thou to me , Dun out of the mire , or I wayle in woe and plunge in paine , all these daunces haue no other musicke , except now and then he chaunce to heare an oath , or a curse or two from the Coachman . These Saylors , the most part and best of them are bred in a Kingdome of much fertilitie and plenty , called Realdine , where after they haue all their youth beene accustomed to weare Brogues and Tru●es , their fare being many times shamrookes , oaten-bread , beanes and butter-milke , arm'd vpon starke naked , with a Dart or a Skeene , steeld with the spirit of Vsquabath , then they crosse a ditch of eight houres sayle , and land in the most flourishing Kingdome of Triabnie , where by their good Foot-man-SHIP they are turned out of their old habits , into Iackets of good Preterpluperfect Veluet , plated with siluer or Argentum vi●um , ( for the quickenesse ) and all to be embrodered backe and side , with the best gold twist , and the best of the silke-worme , sometimes with a Courte ( a Coate of Guard I should say , ) or a Coate of Regard , being well guarded , vnreguarded , with such a deale of feather Ribbands , and points , that he seemes to be a running Habberdashers shop of small wares . Yet are those men free from Pride , for their greatest Ambition is not to ride but to foote it , or else to sweepe Chimneis , or turne Costermongers ; this is the altitude of their aime , and the profundity of their ●elicitie , neuertheles they know themselues to be Great mens Trappings , couragious Torch-bearers , ill●strious Firedrakes , glorious & sumptuous Turmoylers , they are farre from the griping sinnes of Vsurie and Extortion , and are such Philosophicall contemners of the world , that euery day they treade it vnder their ●●ete and trample on it ; and they are such haters of wickednesse , that they leaue it in all places where they come : they are not couetous of other mens land , for they make all the hast they can euery day to leaue it behinde them ; they are so much to be trusted , that their words are as good as their bonds , yet in this their humilitie they may compare with Emperours , for they are as braue as Nero , and can drinke with Tiberius : To conclude , the Foot-man-SHIP is man'd with well breath'd Mariners , who after all their long , painefull , and faithfull seruice , are ship'd in-the Barke-beggerly , and brought to an Anker in the Hauen of Cripplegate . There were in the R●giment with the Foote-man-SHIP 4. small Pinnaces . 1 The Sweat , a vessell of warme imployment or hot seruice . 2 The Moyle , a Fregate that will endure much foule weather . 3 The Toyle , a Barke for all weathers , Winter or Sommer . 4 The Cripple , an old Drumler , quite past seruice . The Horseman - SHIP with her Squadron . HOrsmanship had not so faire a beginning as Footman-SHIP , for Cayno who was the first vagabond and runnagate in the world , was also the first that back'd and mannadge a Horse ( as Polador Virgil saith , 〈…〉 doubt after he had murdred his brother , seeing he could not runne from the horror of his conscience , therefore he practised Horseman-SHIP , because perhaps hee tho●g●t to ride from himselfe . This Ship hath more p●ces then 〈◊〉 hath ; and the comparison may hold well for in long vacations , quarter dayes , against payment of Bon●s absence of true friends , or protracting of Maydes marriages , after the Banes hath beene thrice asked , in these cases the Lawyer ▪ the Land-lord , the Vsurer , the friends , and the Contracted couple , doe thinke time to be soundred , starke lame , or quite tyred , & that his best pace is after 14. miles in 15. dayes ; whilst many a poore ( lyent , an vnprouided Tennant , or vnfurnished debter , or a fellow going to be hang'd , they thinke time is all vpon the spur , and that he run● at full speed a wilde galloppe . And as a Ship at sea sayles sometimes by the wind , sometimes before the wind , sometimes with a quarter wind , sometimes with a stone sheate , and sometimes with tacke hard a board , and Bolin st●e●chd and sheate close a●te , by all which winds she sayles seuerall paces : So Horseman-SHIP hath the Trot , the Amble , the Rack , the pace , the false and wild Gallop , or the full speed , & as seuerall vessels at sea do make vp a Nauy , as Carracks , Argoseys , Hulkes , Ships , Barkes , Pinnaces , Hoyghs , Drumlers , Fregates , Brigādines , Carnels , Catches , Gallies , Gallions , Gall●● 〈◊〉 ●oysts , Galley-Asses , and Asses-Galleys : so this Horseman-SHIP , hath to attend her , her 〈…〉 , her Barbary ho●●e , her Naples Courser , her Germ●ne S●e●de her 〈◊〉 Mare , her Galloway Nagge , her 〈◊〉 Hobby , her French C●●uaia , her Welch Pal●ray , her English All , her Smithfield lade , and her Barthlomew Hoby-horse , and 〈◊〉 to all other Ships , which haue their Bridle , H●lme or Rudder in their sterne or tayle , Horseman SHIP is altogether directed and steered by the head , whereby , ●●r want of good managing , many times the Rider makes a head-long voyage ( like a man of good forecast 〈◊〉 the horse head . And as Horseman are none of the best Mariners , so Mariners are commonly the worst Horsemen , as one of them being vpon a tyred Hacken●y once , ( his companions pray'd him to ride faster , he said he was becalm'd . Another mounted vpon a foundred ●ade , that stumbled 3. or 4. times hea●●ong , the Saylor imagined that his horse was too much 〈◊〉 a head , or ●●t●ward on ( as the sea phrase is ) and therefore to b●l●●●e him , that he might goe or sayle with an euen keele , he aligated and s●l'd his ●erkin slee●●● full of stones , and ty'd them fast to his horse cro●p●r , supp●sing to make his s●eme as deepe laden as his head to an ●yd stumbling . Indeed this Horseman-SHIP is neuer vnfurnished of a lad●● tricke or two at a pinch or time of neede , ( and contrarie to any other ship in the fairest weather it will heaue , set , wi●ce , kicke , fling , & ●uruet , like a Mi●●ommer Morris dauncer , or as if the Deuill were practising a French 〈◊〉 or ●●rran●o ▪ but I cannot blame them to be lusty , 〈◊〉 they we not put to such hard allowance as many poor who had taught their Iades no better manners , then to take the wall of his Maiesties Horse , hee dismissed them from their Offices , and made two of his owne stable Groomes , Senatours in their roomes , and after proceeded to the funerall of his Horse , in manner and forme following . First , a 100. poore gald Hackneies , and next 300. labouring Asses , all couered with blacke Cotton , going 2. and 2. euery one hauing 2. bottles of ●●aye on their backes , the onely guift of the deceased : then 100. hunting Nags , and 50. Coache-horses , with 10. Horses of State , with each two horse-loaues for dyet bread . Then followed the Pleybeians in mourning habit 200. in number ; next the stable Groomes , Puruayers , Chikes of the stable , Farryers , Horse-leeches , and Gentlemen of the stable , 300. Then went the Sadlers , Charioteeres , Waggoners , Carters , Sumptermen , Littermen and Coachmen , 300. After them Singers , Pagan Priests , Flammines and Archslammines . 70. Then the H●arse richely behung with Scutcheous deuices , Mottoes , and Impresses . After them , the Emperour Nero chiefe mourner , and his Trayne borne vp by Otho , and young Sporus . Next went two old Asses all in blacke Veluet , as mourners of State or Cheuals de du●il . Then followed Agripina ( Nero his mother ) with the faire Popeia and the beautifull Acte , ( two of his Concubines ) and after them Galba Nimphid●us Vittelluss , with others : it i● t●ought that Seneca ●at all the while in his studie laughing at the Funerall . Lastly a great Troope of straggling attendants : The Hearse being set downe in Campus Martius , Otho began this speech which followeth , in blancke Verse . INintious death to make an Emperour mourne Fleabit ten Otho 's tymeles Exequies , Who might haue hu'd , and borne great Conquerours And beene the father of most valliant Coltes ; Lament yee Meades , whereon this Palsray grazd Ah! strew the streetes of Rome with rotten hay . Let Pease , Beanes , Oates , and horse-bread must with griefe Rust Curry-combes , and Saddles rend in sunder , Breake stirrop-leathers girths and bridle , breake , Fall racke and manger , plankes split all in twaine , For you shall ne're support his weight againe , You stable Groomes that comb'd his crisped mane , And oft were grac'd to make vp Otho's trayne , Sigh , groane , and weepe , lament and howle and crye , In litter and horse-dung euerlastingly : Thinke how braue Otho did his breath respire , Who with his heeles hath oft strooke sparkling fire . Heare Nero speakes . THe brauest beast that euer Emperour backd That thump'd the field of Mars with greater grace Then P●gasus bearing Tritonia About the valleyes neere the Muses Hils , In battaile swift●r then the Northern wind But in a triumph flout and f●ll of state , Listing his hooses , as if he scorn'd the ground , And 〈◊〉 cant to make the ayre support his weight . As mannerly and moderate at his meate As is a Bride groome on his wedding day , For neuer would he touch a locke of hay , Or smell vnto a heape of prouender Vntill he heard a noyse of Trumpets sound , Whereby he knew our meat was serued in . But after meales , how he would meditate Vpon his Tutors reuerend documents , And by himselfe would practise what was taught him , Offring to run the Ring , and fetch Curuets , To trot in state as we were on his backe , And to out doe his schole-master in Arte , The thought of these things ( Otho ) kils my heart . Otho speakes to the two Asses . THen these poore Animals haue cause to weepe , Most reuerend Asses you haue lost a friend , A friend , a father haue your worship lost , Who would haue giu'n you pensions in your age , And made you Beads-men , free from Cariages . When he lay speechlesse , on his death bed , then He pointed to the hay-loft with his heeles , As who should say , if I dye giue it them : Then to the Wardens of his Company , ( For he was made free of the Blacke-smiths Craft ) He turn'd about , bade them pull off his shooes , And take them as true token of his loue . And as he dying shewed his loue to them , Because his Master did delight in Playes , He wil'd that of hi● mane should beards be made , And of his tayle , a head-tire for a Deuill . One Asse he made his sole Executor , The other Ouer-seer of his will : Graunt Iupiter they may performe the same To doe and ouer-see , that men may say They were Iust Ouer-seers another day . Epitaph . HEre lyes the Horse , whose foure foote Progeny Did trot in blood before the walls of Troy : Yea in the bowels of the Greekes perdye , And on his breast this Morto , Par ma foy , Kin ( by the Sire ) to winged Pegasus , And by the Mother to the King of Mules , Whose Vnckle was the great Bucephalus , Whose Armes , foure Horse shooes , and the fiel was Gules . To conclude , this Horsemanship after many stormes , tempests , gusts , and flawes , came at last home to hir antient hauen the Beare-garden , richly laden with these commodities following . The Chinegall , the Nauellgall , Windgall , Spurgall , Lightgall , and Shacklegall , the wormes , the Staggers , the Mallenders and Sallenders , Scratches , Pole-euill , the Anticote and the Pompardye , the Dropsie , the Feauer , the Palsie , the Glaunders , the Frenzy , the Cough and the Colt-euill , the Yellowes , the Fashions , the Splinters , the Spa●ines , the Ring-bones , the Quitter-bones , the Curbes , the Rotten-frush , and the Crowne-scabb , the Hide-bound , the Hawes , the Crestfall , the Viues , the Bloody-riffes , the Crampe , and the Canker , the howkes , the Toothake , the Surfet , the Tonghurte , the Paps and the Bladders , the Tyrednesse , the Lowsinesse , the Surbate , the Farley , the Pose and the Strangle , the Broaken-winde , the Hoofe-bound , the Botch , the Bots , the Wen in the Groyne , the Rot in the Lungs , the Kybes , the Pearle , and the Pin and Webbe , the Cloyde , the Blood-shot , the Wrung in the Withers , the straine , the Pricke in the sole , the Loose in the Hoofe , the Graueld , the foundring , and the shedding of the haire , the Horse-hipped , the Wrench , the Necke-cricke , and the Shoulder splat . These are the commodities wherewith the HorsemanSHIP was sraight , which are so shared and deuided , that a man cannot light of any horse , young or old , but he is furnished with one , two or more of these excellent guistes . The Ships that attended in the Squadron or Regiment with the HorsemanSHIP , were these , 1 The Rac● , an aduenturous vessell of much expectation , and admirable , swiftnesse . 2 The Poste , a vessell of much vse , quicke returne , and exceeding hazzard , toyle and trauell . 3 The Hackeney , a most seruiceable Pinnace , that endures all weathers , and is so common , that she is to be hyred by any or vsed by all . The Suretie - SHIP with her Squadron or Regiment . THis is a Ship of great antiquitie , and makes more voyages then all the rest of the Nauy , she is the onely Marchant aduenturer vnder the Sunne , for they that ●ayle in her , doe hazard goods , lands , money reputation ▪ friends , kinred , credit , libertie and life ; of all which rich commodities ( alwayes at her returnes ) she is so prouident ▪ that she makes one Iayle or other her weatehouse , where it is more safely kept vnder locke and key , then the golden apples of the Hesperides were guarded by the Dragon ; she is so easie to be boarded , that a man neede not trouble his feete to enter her , or vse any boate to come to her , ●or if all her Mariners should goe to her by water , then were a Water-man the richest trade belowe the Moone ; onely a dash with a pen , the writing of a mans name , passing his word , or letting his marke ( though it be but the forme of a paire of Pot-hookes , a Crosse , a crooked billet , or a W. for Ihon Tompson , any of these facile wayes hath ship'd a man into the Surety-SHIP , during his life and his heires after him , and though the entrance into her be so easie , yet she is so full of impertinent and needy courtesie , that many men will lend a man a hand into her , with more faire entreaties , requests and inuitations , then are commonly vsed to a Maske at the Court , or a groce of Gossips in the Countrey , and being once entred , a ten peny nayle driuen to the head may as soone leape out of an Oaken poast , as a man may get a shoare againe : she is painted on the out-side with vowes and promises , and within her are the stories of the t●tter'd Prodigall , eating Huskes with the Swine , the picture of Niobe , with Allecto , T●siphone and Megera , dauncing lachtimae : Her Armes are a Goose quill or pen , couchant in a sheepe-skin field ●able , the Motto aboue Nouerint vniuersi , the supporters a Vsurer and a Scriuener , the crest a Wood-cocke , the Mantles red wax , with this other Motto beneath , Seald and deliuer'd , this Ship hath the Arte to make parchement the deerest stuffe in the world ; For I haue seene a peece little bigger then my two hands , that hath cost a man a thousand pound , I my selfe payd a hundred pound once for a small rotten remnant of it . She is rig'd most strangely , her ●opes and Cables are Conditions whether or to what Port a man would haue her . 3 The Foole , a Ship of great burthen , and for sayle and steerage much like the Kinde heart . 4 The Negligence , an Argosey that through want of good fore-sight , brought the Surety-SHIP in great danger . 5 The Decaye , a Ship much broaken . 6 The Scape-thrift , a small ragged Catch , that hangs or depends vpon the whole Regiment . The Wor - SHIP with her Squadron or Regiment . THough the first syllable of this Ships name be , Worse , whereby she is called Worse-SHIP , yet she is a better Ship then many are aware of & indeed she is farre too good for euery ▪ or for any Knaue to come aboard of her . In my opinion she doth not belong to any mortall man , for God himselfe is both Owner and Master of her . Yet many there are who claime an interest in her , as first the Deuill would haue her belong to him , for which cause he makes many barbarous Nations to adore and WorSHIP him , and to sacrifice themselues , their children , and all that they esteeme deerest vnto them , to his infernall Hell-hood , and for his better holding and keeping of this Worship , he hath his Ministers and Agents , in the most Kingdoms of Christendom , who with their jugling leager-demaine , hath guld , blinded & besotted many thousands of all Estates , ages & sexes , that they will fall down & Worship Stockes , Stones , Blockes , Idols , Images , Reliques , dead mens bones , or a peece of bread , as the heathen Idolatrous Egyptians did formerly adore and Wor-SHIP Oynions and Garlicke . And as there are many that for desert are worthy Pilots , Steeremen and Mariners in the Worship , and are ship'd into her onely for their merits , so there are a great many , and more then a good many , that by falsehoode and indirect courses , haue ship'd themselues into her : for as Cornelius Agrippa saith in his Vanity of Sciences , some haue gotten the Wor-SHIP by cutting throats in the warres ; some by being Great mens Bawdes , or Cuckolds in peace ; some for marying of cast Stale Concubines , or Bastards ; some by bribery , extortion or oppression ; some by false weights and measures ; some by the excessiue drunkennesse of others ; some by theft , some vpon credit , some for ready money , and some for fauour ; which is a word crept into the place of merrit since the dayes of Quintillian the Oratour : the most corrupted Iustice will board her ; the slothfullest Diuine will haue a Cabin in her ; the carpet Knight will be ship'd in her ; the most cowardly Captaine will enter her ; and many of least faith and conscience will lay claime to her : she hauing store of such false owners , I say no more of her , but commit her to the mercy of Winde , Tyde , and Time. There went with her in her Regiment , these that follow . 1 The Abuse , an old Ship , too much in vse . 2 The Purchasse , a vessell all for Simony or ready money . 3 The Mittimus , a daungerous Barke , whose word is , At your perill . ●● after foure or fiue dayes preparation , and some ten pound charge among men and horses and dogges , besides an infinite deale of toyle and trouble , and an innumerable number of oathes & curses : after all this great deale of doe , the maine purchase can be no more then a poore silly Hare , which is but a drye meate , and will take more butter in the basting , then her carkasse is worth . Our auncient Progenitour or first King of this Iland ( Brute ) was so expert in this Woodman-ship , that he kil'd his owne father Siluius , shooting him with an arrowe , mistaking him for a Hart , a Stagge or a Bucke : and William the second surnamed Rufus , King of England , was by the like mischance , of a shot made at a Deere , by Sir Walter Tirrell Knight ) slaine with the glaunce of an Arrow against a tree , in the New-forrest in Hampshire . I thanke Coopers Dictionary that tells me that Venator is a Hunter , and Venatrix a Huntresse or a Woman Hunting , and that Meretrix is a Whore or a Woman Hunted : all these words hauing deriuation from , or Allusion to Venereus Alias Le che-reous , for though Diana the hunting Goddesse of Chastity bee a Constant Venatrix ▪ yet Venus the Queene of Loue neuer failes a right Woodman of a Meretrix . But if Venator and Venatrix should Hunt as much as Meretrix is ( or hath beene ) hunted , I thinke verily that there had not beene ( or in time would not be ) one Deere left in many of the greatest Forrests , Parkes and Chases of Christendome . Besides , there is not a perfect Marriner in the Woodman-SHIP but he hath ingrafted in him a most Abundant guift of promising , for one of them will sweare and vowe to giue more Deere away to sundry persons ▪ then there are vnder the keeping and commaund of six or seauen of them : and I haue heard that one White Buck in a small Parke ( in a place which I could name within the Walles of Christendome ) hath bene giuen away at the least to a 1000. seuerall persons , by one keeper , and the said keeper is so kinde that he will neuer deny a Buck to whosoeuer will Aske . A Deere friend ( whom I loue Deere ) did promise me a Deere , foure yeares since and foure deere Iourneyes I made for my Deere , and still with Delaves and Demurres I was put off from my Deere , with promises , that at such and such a time I should haue my Deere , but now I am in despaire of my Deere , and I meane to take no more care for my Deere ; And so Adue my Deere ; but indeed he that had the bounty to promise me this Deere , hath the grace to blush whensoeuer he sees me , and therefore I doe loue him for his modesty and shamefastnes , and had it not bene for that , and that I doe loue him indeed , I would long before this time haue Sung him A Kerry-Elison that should haue made him beene glad to haue promist me a Brace of Bucks more to haue stop'd my mouth withall , although in performance my deere had bene non est inuentus . In a word , of all sort of Deere I hold stolne Venison to be the most honestly gotten , because the theiues are so quiet , close , priuate , & silent at their worke , that they haue no leasure to sweare and curse as men doe when it is lawfully taken , and my conceite is that where oathes and curses are most restraind , there most honesty and piety remaines . But comonly swearing , execrations , and drinking , are the ceremonious Rites of a Bucks or a Hares death and obsequies . With the crye of the Houndes ; And the Eccho resownds Through the Meade , through the sallow , With the Horne , with the hallow , With the Horse lowde neigh , and the Buck at a Baye . And with the Deers fall ; And Hornesounding Knell , My Pen bids Hunting Woodman-SHIP farewell . The Ships and Pinaces that serued in the Regiment vnder the Woodman-SHIP , were these . 1 The Chaunter . 2 The Boweman . 3 The Ringwood . 4 The Slut. 5 The Bewtye . 6 The Daysie . 7 The Kilbuck , with diuers others , all of them being for course or chase . FINIS . 
A13419	----	An arrant thiefe, vvhom euery man may trust in vvord and deed, exceeding true and iust. With a comparison betweene a thiefe and a booke. Written by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1622 Approx. 63 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 23 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-10 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13419 STC 23728 ESTC S118181 99853390 99853390 18773 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13419) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18773) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1010:18) An arrant thiefe, vvhom euery man may trust in vvord and deed, exceeding true and iust. With a comparison betweene a thiefe and a booke. Written by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [44] p. Printed by Edw: All-de, for Henry Gosson, and are to bee solde in Panier-Alley, London : 1622. In verse. Signatures: A-B C⁶. Running title reads: A thiefe. Reproduction of the original in the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign Campus). Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng England -- Social life and customs -- 17th century -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2003-04 SPi Global Rekeyed and resubmitted 2005-03 Ben Griffin Sampled and proofread 2005-03 Ben Griffin Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-04 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion AN Arrant Thiefe , Whom Euery Man may Trust : In Word and Deed , Exceeding true and Iust. WITH A Comparison betweene a Thiefe and a Booke . Written by Iohn Taylor . LONDON . Printed by Edw : All-de , for Henry Gosson , and are to bee solde in Panier-Alley . 1622. THis Water Rat , ( or Art ) I would commend , But that I know not to begin or end : He read his Verses to me , and which more is Did moue my Muse to write Laudem Authoris , If for his Land Discoueries * she should praise him , Whether would then his liquid knowledge raise him ? Reade his two Treatises of Theefe and Whore , You le thinke it time for him to leaue his Oare . Yet thus much of his worth I cannot smother , T is well for vs when Theeues peach one another . This Preface is but poore , 't is by a Boy done , That is a Scholler of the Schoole of Croydon , Who when he hath more yeares and learning got , Hee 'l praise him more or lesse , or not a jot . Giuen vpon Shroue Tuesday from our seate , in the second Forme of the famous free Schoole of Croydon . By RICHARD HATTON . WHen a Fresh Waterman doth turne Salt Poet , His Muse must prattle all the world must know it : Of Whores and Theiues ( he writes two merry Bookes ) He loues them both , I know it by his lookes . Alas I wrong him : blame my Muse not mee , She neuer spake before , and rude may bee . Giuen from the lowe estate of the fift Forme neere to the Schoole doore at Croydon beforesaid , By GEORGE HATTON . TO THE HOPEFVLL PAIRE OF BRETHREN , and my worthy Patrones , Master RICHARD , and GEORGE HATTON , Loue , Learning , and true Happines . YOur Muses , th' one a Youth , and one an Infant , Gaue me two Panegericks at one Instant : The first Pen , the first line it pleasd to walke in , Did make my Art a Rat , and like Grimalkin , Or a kinde needfull Vermin-coursing Cat , By Art I play , but will not eate your Rat. I thanke you that you did so soone determine , To Annagram my Art into a Vermine , For which I vow , if e're you keepe a Dayrie , Of ( now and then ) a Cheese I will impaire yee . Kinde Mr. George , your Muse must be exalted , My Poetry you very well haue salted . Salt keepes thinges sweet , & make them rellish sauory And you haue powdred well my honest kna &c. I thanke you to , nor will I be ingratefull , Whilest Rime or Reason deignes to fill my patefull , You truely say that I loue Whores and Thieues well , And halfe your speech I think the world belieues well , For should I hate a Theefe , Theeues are so Common , I well could neither loue my selfe or no man , But for Whores loue , my purse would neuer hold out , They 'l heate and picke the Siluer and the Gold out . You both haue grac'd my Thiefe , he bath confessed , You ( like two Shrieues ) conuay'd him to be Pressed . In mirth you write to me , on small Requesting , For which I thanke you both , in harmlesse Iesting , And may your Studies to such goodnes raise you , That God may euer loue , and good men praise you . Yours , when you will , where you will , in what you will , as you will , with your will , again your will ; at this time , at all time , at all times or some●times , in pastimes . IOHN TAYLOR To any Reader He or Shee , It makes no matter what they bee . WHen you open this first leafe , Imagine you are come within the doore of my house , where according as you behaue your selues you are Courteously welcome , or you may lay downe the Booke , and goe the same way you came : the flattering of Readers , or begging their acceptance is an argument that the ware is scarce good which the Author meanes to vtter , or that it is a Cheape yeare of wit , and his lyes vpon his handes , which makes him pittifully , like a Supliant to begin Honorably Complaineth to your Humblenes , ( 't is but mistaken , the first should be last . ) Some men haue demanded of me , why I doe write vpon such sleight Subiects , as the Praise of Hempseed . The Trauailes of Twelue-pence . Taylors Goose. The Antiquity of Begging . A Cormorant . A Cōmon Whore. And now an arrant Thiefe ? ●o whom I answer heere , that many Graue and excellent Writers haue imployed their Studyes to good purposes in as triuiall matters as my selfe ; and I am assured that the meaner the subiect is , the better the Inuention must bee , for ( as Tom Nash said ) euery Foole can fetch Water out of the Sea or picke Corne out of full Sheaues , but to wring● Oyle out of Flint , or make a plentifull Haruest with little or no Seede , that 's the Workman , but that 's not I. And Gentlemen , as I lately sent you a Whore that was honest , so I haue now sent you a Thiefe , that will neuer Rob you nor picke your Pockets of more then you are willing to part with all . Yours at all good times IOHN TAYLOR A THIEFE . I Lately to the world did send a * Whore And she was welcom , though she was but poore And being so , it did most strange appeere That pouerty found any welcome heere , But when I saw that many Rich men sought , My Whore , & with their coine her freedom bought I mus'd , but as the cause I out did ferrit ● found some Rich in Purse , some poore in merrit Some learned Schollers , some that scarse could spell : Yet all did loue an honest Whore , right well , T was onely such as those that entertaind hir , Whilst scornful Knaues , & wides Fooles disdaind hir . Now to defend her harmels Innocence , I send this Thiefe to be her Iust defence : Against all truemen , and I le vndertake There are not many that dare answer make . Then Rowze my Muse , be valiant , and be briefe , Be confident my true and constant Thiefe : Thy Trade is scatt'red , vniuersally , Throughout the spacious worlds Rotundity , For all estates and functions great and small , Are for the most part Thieues ingenerall . Excepting Millers , Weauers , Taylers , and Such true trades as no stealing vnderstand . Thou art a Thiefe ( my Booke ) and being so Thou findst thy fellowes wheresoeu'r thou goe , Birds of a feather still will hold together And all the world with thee are of a feather : The ods is , thou art a Thiefe by nomination , And most of men are Thieues in their vocation . Thou neither dost cog , Cheate , steale sweare or lye Or gather'st goods by false dishonesty , And thou shalt liue when many of the Crue Shall in a Halter bid the world Adue . And now a thought into my minde doth fall To proue whence Thieues haue their originall : I finde that Iupiter did wantonly On Maya get a sonne call'd Mercurye , To whom the people oft did Sacrifice , Accounting him the God of Marchandize : Of Elloquence , and rare inuention sharpe , And that he first of all deuisd the Harpe . The God of Tumblers , Iuglers , fooles & Iesters , Of Thieues , and fidlers that the earth bepesters , Faire Venus was his Sister , and I finde He was to her so much vnkindely kinde , That hee on her begat Hermophrodite As Ouid very wittily doth write : His wings on head and heeles true Emblems bee How quick he can inuent , how quickly ●lee : By him are Thieues inspirde , and from his guift They plot to steale and run away most swift : In their conceites and sleights , no men are sharper , Each one as nimble finger'd as a Harper . Thus Thieuing is not altogether Base But is descended from a lofty Race . Moreouer euery man , himselfe doth showe To be the Sonne of Addam , for we knowe He stole the Fruite , and euer since his Se●de , To steale from one another haue agreede . Our Infancy is Theft , t is manyfest We crie and Rob our Parents of their Rest : Our Childe-hood Robs vs of our Infancy , And youth doth steale our childe-hood wantonly : Then Man-hood pilfers all our youth away , And middle-age , our Manhood doth conuay Vnto the Thieuing hands of feeble age , Thus are we all Thieues , all our Pilgrimage , In all which progresse , many times by stealth Strange sicknesses doth Rob vs of our health . Rage steales our Reason , Enuy thinkes it fit To steale our Loue , whilst Folly steales our wit. Pride filcheth from vs our Humillity , And Leachery doth steale our honesty , Base Auarice , our Conscience doth purloin , Whilst sloath to steale our mindes from work doth Ioyne Time steales vpon vs , whilst we take small care , And makes vs olde before we be a ware : Sleepe and his brother Death conspire our fall The one steales halfe our liues , the other all . Thus are we Robb'd by Morpheus , and by Mors Till in the end , each Corps is but a Coarse , Note but the seasons of the yeare , and see How they like Thieues to one another be From Winters frozen face , through snow & showers The Spring doth steale roots , plāts , buds & flowers , Then Sommer Robs the Spring of natures sute , And haruest Robs the Sommer of his fruite , Then Winter comes againe , and he bereaues The Haruest of the Grayne , and Trees of Leaues , And thus these seasons Robs each other still Round in their course , like Horses in a mill . The Elements , Earth , VVater , Ayre , and Fire To rob each other daily doe Conspire : The fiery Sun from th' ocean , and each Riuer Exhales their Waters , which they all deliuer : This water , into Clowdes the Ayre doth steale Where it doth vnto Snow or Haile Conicale , Vntill at last Earth Robs the Ayre againe Of his stolne Treasure Haile , sleete , snow or Raine . Thus be it hot or cold , or dry , or wet , These Thieues , from one another steale and get . Night Robs vs of the day , and day of Night : Light pilfers darknes , and the darknes light . Thus life , death , seasons , and the Elements And day & Night , for Thieues are presidents . Two Arrant Thieues we euer beare about vs The one within , the other is without vs , All that we get by toyle , or Industry Our Backs and Bellies steale continually , For though men labour with much care & Carke , Lie with the Lamb downe , rise vp with the Lark . ●weare and forsweare , deceaue , and lie and Cog , And haue a Conscience worse then any Dog , ●e most vngracious , extreame vile and base , And ( so he gaine ) not caring for disgrace : Let such a Man or Woman count their gaines They haue but meat , & Rayment for their paines . No more haue they that do liue honestest Those that can say their Consciences are best , Their Bellies and their Backs , day , night and hower , The fruites of all their labours do deuower : These Thieues do rob vs , with our owne good will , And haue dame natures warrant for it still , ●omtimes these Sharks do work each others wrack The Rauening Belly , often Robs the Back : Will feed like Diues , with Quaile , Raile , & Pheasant And be attir'd all tatter'd like a Peasant , ●ometimes the gawdy Back , Mans Belly pines , ●or which he often with Duke Humphrey dines : ●he whilst the minde defends this hungry stealth And sayes a temp'rate dyet mainetaines health , ●et Corland crie , let Guts with famine mourne , The maw's vnseene , good outsides must be worne , Thus do these Thieues Rob vs , and in this pother The minde consents , and then they Rob each other : Our Knowledge and our Learning ( oft by chance ) Doth steale and Rob vs of our Ignorance : Yet Ignorance may sometimes gaine promotion Where it is held the Mother of deuotion ) But knowledge ioynd with learning , are poor things That many times a man to begg'ry brings : And fortune very oft doth Iustly fit Some to haue all the wealth , some all the wit. Tobacco Robs some men , if so it list It steales their Coyne ( as Thieues do ) in a Mist : Some men to Rob the Pot will neu'r refraine Vntill the Pot Rob them of all againe , A prodigall can steale exceeding Briefe , Picks his owne purse , and is his owne deare Thiefe : And thus within vs , and without vs we Are Thieues , and by Thieues alwayes pillagde be . First then vnto the greatest Thieues of all Whose Thecu'ry is most high and Capitall : You that for pomp , and Titles transitory Rob your Almighty maker of his Glory , And giue the Honour due to him alone Vnto a Carued block , a stock or stone , An Image , a Similytude , or feature Of Angell , Saint , or Man , or any creature , To Alters , Lamps , to Holly Bread , or Waters , To shrines , or tapers , or such Iugling matters , To Relliques , of the dead , or of the liuing This is the most supreamest kind of Theiuing . Besides they all commit this Fellonie That breake the Saboath day malliciouslie , God giues vs sixe dayes and himselfe hath one , Wherein he would ( with thanks ) be calld vpon : And those that steale that day to bad abuses , Robs God of Honour , without all excuses : Vnto these Thieues , my Thiefe doth plainely tell That though they hang not here , they shall in Hell ●xcept Repentance , ( and vnworthy Guerdon ●hrough our Redemers merits ) gaine their pardon . ●hen Ther 's a Crew of Thieues that prie and lu●ch ●nd steale and share the liuings of the Church ; ●hese are Hells factors , Marchants of all Euill , ●obs God of Soules , and giue them to the Deuill . ●or where the Tythe of many a Parish may ●llowe a good sufficient Preacher paye , ●et Hellish pride , or lust , or Auarice , ●r one or other fowle licentious Vice , ●obs Learning Robs the people of their teaching who in seauen yeares perhaps doth heare no preaching When as the Parsonage by accounts is found ●earely worth two , 3. or 4. hundred pound , ●et are those Soules seru'd , or else staru'd I feare ●ith a poore Reader for eight poundes a yeare . Preacher breakes to vs the Heau'nly Bread ●hereby our straying Soules are taught and fed : ●nd for this heau'nly worke of his , 't is sence ●hat men allow him earthly Recompence . ● shall he giue vs foode that 's spirituall ●nd not haue meanes to feede him Corporall ? 〈◊〉 ; ( of all men ) t is most manifest , ●ainefull Churchman earnes his wages best . ●●ose that keepe back the Tythes , I tell them true 〈◊〉 arrant Thieues in Robbing God , of'is due : 〈◊〉 he that robs Gods church ( 't encrese their pelse ) ●is most apparent , they Rob God himselfe . The Patron oft deales with his Minister As Dionisius did with Iupiter He stole his Golden Cloake , and put on him A Coate of Cotton , ( nothing neere so trim ) And to excuse his theft , he said the Gold was ( to be worne ) in Winter time , too Cold , But in the Summer , t was too hot and heauy , And so some Patrones vse the Tribe of Leuy : That for the Winters cold , or Summers heate , They are so pold , they scarse haue cloathes & meat . Amongst the rest , there may some pastors be , Who enter in through cursed Simonie : But all such are notorious Thieues therefore They climb the wall , & not com through the dore , Thus Menelaus did the Priesthood win From Iason by this simonayck sinn , For he did pay three hundred Tallents more Then Iason would ( or could ) disburse therefore . And many a mitred Pope and Cardinall This way haue got their State Pontificall : These Rob and steale , ( for which all good Men grieu●● And make the House of Praier , a den of Thieues . But though the Hangman , heere they can outface Yet they shall all hang in a worser place . Then there are Thieues who make the Church their gaines VVho can Preach wel , yet will not take the paines : Dumb dogs , or rau'ning wolues , whose careles care Doth fat themselues , & keep their flocks most bare . Besides Churchwardens , with a griping Fist Like Thieues may Rob their Vestry , if they list . The Poores neglector ( O I pardon craue ) Collector I should say , may play the Knaue , The Thiefe I would haue said , but chuse you whether He may be both , and so he may be neither . So leauing Church - Thieues , with their cursed stealth , He now descend vnto the Common-wealth . And yet me thinkes I should not passe the Court , But sure Thieues dare not thither to resort . But of all Thieues in any Kings Dominion , A Flatterer is a Cutpurse of opinion , That like a Pick-pocket , doth lye and wayte , To steale himselfe into a mans conceit . This Thiefe will often dawbe a great mans vice , Or rate his Vertue at too lowe a price , Or at too high a pitch his worth will raise , To fill his eares with flatt'ry any wayes . ●urueyors , and Purueyors , now and then May steale , and yet be counted honest men . When men doe for their liuing labour true , ●e's a base Thiefe that payes them not their due . They are all Thieues , that liue vpon the fruites Of Monnopollies if vngodly Suites . ●he Iudge or Iustice that doe Bribes desire Like Thieues , deserue a halter for their hire . ● Reuerend Father , worthy of beleeuing , ●aid taking bribes was Gentleman like Thieuing . ● Marchant now and then his goods may bring , And steale the Custome , and so rob the King. Thieues they are all , that scrape and gather treasures , By Wares deceitfull , or false weights or measures . That Landlord is a Thiefe that rackes his Rents , And mount the price of rotten Tenements , Almost vnto a damned double Rate , And such a Thiefe as that , my selfe had late . A paire of Louers , are starke Thieues , for they Doe kindely steale each others hearts away . Extortioners , I Thieues may truely call , Who take more Int'rest , then the principall . Executors , and Ouer-seers Thieuing , Haue often wrong'd the Dead , and Rob'd the liuin● All those within the ranke of Thieues must bee , That trust their Wares out from 3. monthes to thre● And makes their Debtors thrice the worth to pay , Because they trust them , these are Thieues I say , That doe sell Time , which vnto God belongs , And begger whō they trust most , with these wron● He is a Thiefe , and basely doth purloyne , Who borroweth of his neighbours goods , or Coyn● And can , but will no satisfaction giue , These are the most notorious Thieues that liue , Vpon such Thieues ( if Law the same allow'd ) A hanging were exceeding well bestow'd . A Farmer is a Thiefe , that hoards vp Graine In hope of Dearth , by either Drouth or Raine , He steales Gods treasures , and doth quite forget , That ouer them hee 's but a Steward set , And for his Rob'ry he deserues to weare A riding Knot an Inch below his Eare. Of Drinking Thieues exceeding store there are , That steale themselues Drunke e're they be aware These are right Rob-pots , Rob-wits , and Rob-purses , To gaine Diseases , Begg'ry , and Gods curses . Drawers , and Tapsters too , are Thieues I thinke , That Nick their Pots , and cheate men of their Drinke , ●nd when Guests haue their Liquor in their braine , ●●eale Pots halfe full , to fill them vp againe . Though this be Thieu'ry yet I must confesse , ●is honest Theft to punish Drunkennes . ●nd of small Thieues , the Tapster I preferre , ●e is a Drunkards Executioner , ●or whilest his money lasts he much affects him , ●hen , with the Rod of pouerty Corrects him . ● Chamberlaine vnto his Guests may creepe ●nd pick their Pockets , when th' are Drunke asleepe ▪ ●ut amongst Thieues , that are of lowe Repute ●n Hostler is a Thiefe , most absolute : ●e with a Candles end Horse teeth can Grease , ●hey shall eate neither Hay , Oates , Beanes , or Pease , ●esides a hole i th Maunger , and a Bag ●ang'd vnderneath may Cozen many a Nag , ●nd specially , if in a Stable darke , ●one doe not the Hostlers knau'ry marke . ●e will deceiue a man , before his face , ●n the Peck's bottome , some few Oates hee 'l place Which seemes as if it to the brim were full , ●nd thus the Knaue both Man and Horse will Gull. ●he breake Horsebread , he can thus much doe , ●mongst fiue loaues , his Codpiece swallowes two , ●he Hostler sayes the Horse hath one good tricke , ●uicke at his meate , he needs must trauell quicke . If men , at full Racke for their Horsmeat pay , So hard into the racke hee 'l tread the Hay , That out , the poore Beasts cannot get a bit , And th'Hostler held an honest man for it , For who would thinke the Horses want their right , When as the Racke is still full , day and night ? With bottles , if men will haue Horses fed , To each a Groates worth ere they goe to bed , The Thieuish Hostler can rob Horse and Men , And steale the bottles from the Racke agen , And put in Hay that 's pist vpon , I wot , Which being dry'd , no horse will eate a jot , And all such Hostlers , wheresoe're they bee , Deserue a Horses nightcap for their Fee. One stole a Wife , and marryed her in post , A hanging had bin better stolne , almost : By her he night and day was long perplex'd , Cornuted , scolded at , defam'd , and vex'd , That ( in comparison of all his paine ) A friendly hanging had bin mighty gaine . There 's an olde speech , a Tayler is a Thiefe , And an olde speech he hath for his reliefe , I le not equiuocate , I 'le giue him 's due He ( truly ) steales not , or he steales not , true , Those that report so , mighty wrong doth doe him , For how can he steale that , that 's brought vnto him And it may be they were false Idle speeches , That one brought Cotton once , to line his Breeches And that the Tayler layde the Cotton by , And with olde painted Cloath , the roome supply , ●hich as the owner ( for his vse ) did weare , Nayle , or sceg , by chance his breech did teare , 〈◊〉 which he saw the Linings , and was wroth ; ●r Diues and Lazarus on the painted Cloath , ●he Gluttons Dogs , and Hels fire hotly burning , ●ith Feinds & fleshooks , whence ther 's no returning , ●e rip'd the other breech , and there he spide , ●he pamper'd Prodigall on Cockhorse ride : ●here was his fare , his Fidlers , and his Whores , ●is being poore , and beaten out of Doores , ●is keeping Hogs , his eating huskes for meate , ●is Lamentation , and his home retreat , ●is welcome to his Father , and the Feast , ●he fat Calfe kill'd , all these thinges were exprest . ●hese Transformations fild the man with feare , ●hat he Hell fire within his breech * should beare , ●e mus'd what strange inchantments he had bin in , ●hat turn'd his linings , into painted Linnen . ●is feare was great , but at the last to rid it , 〈◊〉 Wizard tolde him , 't was the Tayler did it . ●ne tolde me of a * Miller that had power ●ometimes to steale 5. Bushels out of foure : ●s once a Windmill ( out of breath ) lack'd winde , ● fellow brought Foure bushels there to Grinde , ●nd hearing neither noyse of Knap or tiller , ●ayd downe his Corne , and went to seeke the Miller : ●ome two flight-shoot to th'Alehouse he did wag , ●nd left his Sacke in keeping with his Nag , ●he Miller came a by-way vp the hill , And saw the Sacke of Corne stand at the Mill , Perceiuing none that could his Theft gaine-say , For toll tooke Bag and Grist , and all away . And a Crosse way vnto the Alehouse hy'd him , Whereas the man that sought him , quickly spide him Kinde Miller ( quoth the man ) I left but now A Sacke of Wheate , and I intreat that thou Wilt walke vp to the Mill where it doth lye , And Grinde it for me now the winde blowes hye . So vp the Hill they went , and quickly found The Bag & Corn , stolne from the ground vngrown The poore man with his losse was full of griefe , He , and the Miller went to seeke the Theefe , Or else the Corne , at last all tyr'd and sad , ( Seeking both what he had not , and he had ) The Miller ( to appease or ease his paine ) Solde him one Bushell of his owne againe . Thus out of 4. the man Fiue Bushels lost , Accounting truely all his Corne and cost . To mend all of this Thieuing Millers brood , One halfe houres hanging would be very good . But there 's a kinde of stealing misticall , Pickpocket wits , silch lines Sophisticall , Villaines in Vearse , base Runagates in Rime , False Rob-wits , and contemned slaues of time , Purloyning Thieues , that pilfer from Desart The due of Study , and reward of Art. Pot Poets , that haue skill to steale Translations , And ( into English ) filch strange tongues and Natio● And change the Language of good Wits vnknown● These Thieuish Rascals print them for their owne . ●istake me not good Reader any wayes , ●ranslators doe deserue Respect and praise , ●or were it not for them , we could not haue ● Bible , that declares our soules to saue , ●nd many thousands worthy workes would lye ●ot vnderstood , or in obscurity , ● they by Learned mens Intelligence , Were not Translated with great diligence : honour such , and he that doth not so , ●ay his soule sin●ke to euerlasting woe . speake of such as steale Regard and Fame , Who doe translate , and hide the Authors name , Or such as are so barren of Inuention , That cannot write a line worth note , or mention , ●et vpon those that can will belch their spite , And with malitious Tongues their Names backbite . ●o this effect I oft haue wrote before , ●nd am inforced now this one time more , ●o take my Pen againe into my fist , And Answer a deprauing Emblemist , ● spare to Name him , but I tell him plaine , ●e're he dare abuse me so againe , ●e whip him with a yerking Satyres lash , ●ang'd like th' inuectiue Muse of famous Nash. That he shall wish he had not beene , or beene Hang'd , e're he mou'd my Iust incenced spleene . He hath Reported most malitiously , 〈◊〉 sundry places amongst company , That I doe neither Write , nor yet Inuent The thinges that ( in my Name ) doe passe in Print . But that some Scholler spends his Time and braine , And let me haue the Glory and the Gaine . Is any Poet in that lowe Degree , To make his Muse worke Iourney-worke to me ? Or are my Lines with Eloquence Imbellish'd , As any Learning in them may be relish'd ? Those that thinke so , they either Iudge in hast , Or else their Iudgements pallat's out of tast . My pen in Hellicon , I ne're did dip , And all my Schollership is Schullership , I am an English-man , and haue the scope To write in mine owne Countries speech ( I hope ) For Homer was a Grecian , and I note That all his workes in the Greeke tongue he wrote ▪ Virgill , and Ouid , neither did Contemne To vse that speech , their Mother 's taught to them . Du Bartas , Petrarcke , Tasso , all their Muses , Did vse the Language that their Countrey vses . And though I know but English , I suppose I haue as many tongues as some of those . Their Studies were much better , yet I say I vse my Countries speech , and so did they . Because my Name is Taylor , some doe doubt , My best Inuention comes by stealing out From other VVriters workes , but I reply , And giue their doubtfull diffidence the lye . To close this point I must be very briefe , And call them Knaues , that calls me Poet Thiefe . But yet a Poets theft , I must not smother , For they doe often steale from one another : They call it borrowing , but I thinke it true , To tearme it Stealing , were a style more due . There is a Speech , that Poets still are poore , ●ut ne're till now I knew the Cause wherefore : VVhich is , when their Inuentions are at best , Then they are dayly rob'd , 't is manifest , For noble Thieues , and poore Thieues all Conjoyne , From painefull Writers studies to purloyne , And steale their Flashes , and their sparkes of wit , Still vtt'ring them at all occasions fit , As if they were their owne , and these men are For their stolne stuffe esteemed wise and Rare . They call it borrowing , but I tell them plaine ●Tis stealing , for they neuer pay againe . The vse of Money 's ten i' th Hundred still , And men in Bonds bound , as the owner will , But wit and Poetry ( more worth then treasure ) Is from the Owners borrowed , at mens pleasure , And to the Poets lot it still doth fall , To loose both Interest and principall . This is the cause that Poets are poore men , Th' are Rob'd , and lend , and ne're are payde agen . T is said that Iacob ( counsel'd by his Mother ) Did steale his Fathers blessing from his Brother , This was a Theft which few will imitate , Their Fathers blessings are of no such rate , For though some Sonnes might haue them for the crauing , Yet they esteeme them scarcely worth the hauing , Their Fathers money they would gladly steale , But for their blessings they regard no deale . And by their Waters , you may guesse and gather ; That they were sick , and grieued of the Father : But on such Thieues as those , I plainely say A hansom hanging were not cast away . Some Thieues may through an Admirable skill , An honest Common wealth both poll and pill : These fellowes steale secure as they were Millers , And are substanciall men , their Countries Pillers : Purloyning polers , or the Barbars Rather , That shaue a Kingdome , Cursed wealth to gather ; These Pillers , or these Caterpillers swarmes Grow Rich , and purchase Goods by others harmes ▪ And liue like Feinds , extreamely fear'd , and hated And are , and shal be euer execrated . A King of Britaine once Catellus * nam'd Vpon Record his Charity is fam'd : His Iustice , and his memory was so Ample He hang'd vp all opressors , for example . If that Lawe once againe were in request Then , of all trades a Hangman were the best . These are the Broode of Barrabas , and these Can Rob , and be let loose againe at ease , Whilst Christ ( in his poore members ) euery day , Doth suffer ( through their Theaft ) and pine away . And sure all men , of whatsoere degree Of Science , Art , or Trade or mysterie , Or occupation , whatsoere they are For truth cannot with Watermen compare . I know ther 's some obiections may be made , How they are Rude , vnciuill in their trade , ●ut that is not the question I propounde ● say no Theaft can in the Trade be founde , Our greatest foes by no meanes can Reueale , Which way we can deceiue , or cheate , or steale : We take men in , and Land them at their pleasure , And neuer bate them halfe an Inch of measure , Still at one price our selues we waste and weare , Though all things else be mounted double deare , And in a word , I must Conclude and say A Waterman can be a Thiefe no way . Except one way , which I had halfe forgot He now and then perhaps may Rob the pot , Steale himselfe Drunke , and be his owne Purspicker , And Chimically turnes his Coyne to Liquer : This is almost a Vniuersall Theaft A portion Fathers to their Sonnes haue left , Men are begot , and doe like their begetters And Watermen doe learne it of their betters . Ther 's nothing that doth make them poore and bare , But cawse they are such true men as they are : For if they would but steale , like other men The Gallowes would deuoure them now and then Whereby their number quickly would be lesse , Which ( to their wants ) would be a good redresse , Their pouerty doth from their truth proceede Their way to thriue were to be Thieues indeede , If they would steale and hang as others doe Those that suruiue it were a healpe vnto , Truth is their trade , and truth doth keepe them poore But if their truth were lesse their wealth were more , All sortes of men worke all the meanes they can , To make a Thiefe of euery Water-man : And as it were in one consent they ioyne , To trot by land i' th' dirt , and saue their Coyne . Carroaches , Coaches , Iades and Flanders Mares , Doe rob vs of our shares , our wares , our Fares . Against the ground we stand and knocke our heeles , Whilest all our profit runnes away on wheeles , And whoseuer but obserues and notes The great increase of Coaches , and of Boates : Shall finde their number more then e're they were , By halfe and more within these Thirty yeare . Then Watermen at Sea had seruice still , And those that stay'd at home had worke at will , Then vpstart Helcart-Coaches were to seeke , A man could scarce see Twenty in a weeke , But now I thinke a man may dayly see , More then the Whirryes on the Thames can be . When Queene Elizabeth , came to the Crowne , A Coach in England , then was scarcely knowne , Then 't was as rare to see one , as to spy A Tradesman that had neuer tolde a lye . But now , like plagues of Aegipt , they doe swarme , As thicke as Frogs , or Lice , vnto our harme . For though the King , the Counsell , and such States , As are of high Superiour ranckes , and rates : For port or pleasure , may their Coaches haue , Yet 't is not fit that euery Whore or Knaue , And fulsome Madams , and new scuruy Squires , Should Iolt the Streets in pomp , at their desires , Like great Tryumphant Tamberlaines , each day , Drawne with the pamper'd Iades of Belgia , That almost all the streets are choak'd out-right , Where men can hardly passe from morne 'till night . Whilest Watermen want worke , and are at ease , To Carry one another , if they please , Or else sit still , and poorely starue and dye . For all their liuings on foure Wheeles doe flye . Good Reader thinke it not too long , or much That I thus amply , on this point doe tutch , Now we are Borne , we would our worke apply To labour , and to liue vntil we Dye , And we could liue well , but for Coaches Thieuing . That euery Day doe rob vs of our liuing . If we , by any meanes , could learne the skill To rob the Coachmen , as they rob vs still : Then in the Sessions booke it would appeare , They would be hang'd fiue hundred in a yeare . Besides it is too manifestly Knowne , They haue the Sadlers Trade almost o'rethrowne , And the best Leather in our Kingdome they Consume and waste ; for which poore men doe pay . Our Bootes and Shooes to such high price they reare , That all our profit can buy none to weare . ● in Bohemia saw , that all but Lords , Or men of worth , had Coaches drawne with Cords : And I my Necke vnto the Rope would pawne , That if our Hackney Ratlers were so drawne , With Cords , or Ropes , or Halters , chuse yee whether It quickly would bring downe the price of Leather . Then Watermen should haue more worke I hope , When euery Hireling Coach drawne with a Rope , Would make our Gallants stomack at the matter And now and then to spend their Coyne by water . Without all flattery , here my minde I breake , The Prouerb saies , giue loosers leaue to speake : They Carry all our Fares , and make vs poore That to our Boates we scarce can get a Whore , Some honest men and women , now and then Will spend their moneyes amongst Watermen , But we are growne so many , and againe Our fares so few , that little is our gaine . Yet for all this ( to giue the Deuill his due ) Our honest trade can no wayes be vntrue . If some be rude amongst the multitude 'T is onely want of worke that makes them Rude , 'T is want of money and of Manners to That makes them do as too too oft they doe And euery good thing that in them is scant It still must be Imputed to their want . But leauing true men , I must turne my stile To paltry Thieues , whose Glory is their guile : For thrice three hundred of them from one tooke Some of them ready money , some a Booke , And set their hands to Billes , to pay to me When I from Scotland should returned be . Crouns , Pounds or Angels , what thy pleas'd to writ I haue their fists to shewe in blacke and white . And after that , I to Bohemia went , And gaue out money , and much money spent : And for these things , those Thieues Ingenerall , Will neither giue me gaine or Principall . ● lately wrought a Pamphlet to the Crue , ●hat spake their due , for keeping of my due : Wherein I gaue them thankes that had me paide , ●nd pardond , those that in their graues were laid : ●o those that were exceeding poore , or fled , Except good words ) I very little sed , ● praid for them that onely would and could not ●nd I inueigh'd at those that could and would not . ●nd let those shifters their owne Iudges be ●f they haue not bin arrant Thieues to me , ●or first and last they tooke ( with their good ) wills ●eere fifteene hundred bookes vpon their bills , ●nd all their hands ( If I the truth may vtter ) ●re worse then obligations seald with butter : ●or I haue in my store ( not worth a Lowse ) ●s many Bills as well may thatch a House , ●nd there I haue the hands of Knights and Squiers : ●nd Omnium gatherum Cheating knaues and liers , ●eauen hundred in a Galleymawfrey , Close Which I would sell for fifteene pence the Groce , ●hei'le neyther pay , with comming , nor with sending ●nd are like olde Bootes , past all hope of mending . ●●rst they did Rob me of my expectation ●nd made me walke along perambulation , ●nd as my Royall Maister when I came ●he good Prince , and my Lord of Buckingham With many more of Honour , Worship , and ●en of inferiour callings in this land , Were bountifull to me at my Returne , Yet I like one , that doth one Candle burne In seeking of another , spent their guifts To finde out Sharkes , and Complements and shift Theft is the best Name I can giue their Crime , They rob me of my Bookes , my Coyne , and time , Of others Bounty , and mine owne good Hopes , And for this Theft I leaue them to the Ropes , I speake to those that can and will not pay , When in the Streets I meete them euery day , They doe not much mistake if they doe thinke I wish them hang'd , for keeping of my Chinke . Thus haue I touch'd a Crue of Thieuing fellowes , That Rob beyond the Compasse of the Gallowes : Whilest many little Thieues are hang'd vp dead That onely Steale for need , to finde them Bread , As Pharaoh's fat Kine , did the Leane deuoure , So great Thieues swallow small ones by their power And sure I thinke , that Common Burglaries , Pick-pockets , High-way Thieues , and Pilferies , And all that thus Felloniously doe Thieue , Are Thieues whose labours many doe Relieue . Who but poore Thieues doe Iaylors wants supply ? On whom doe vnder Keepers still rely ? From Thieuing , money still is gotten thus , For many a Warrant and a Mittimus , And if men were not apt to Filch and Thieue , 'T were worse for many a High , and vnder-Shrieue The Halter-maker , and the Smith are getters For fatall Twist , and pond'rous Bolts and Petters . ●e Carman hath a share amongst the rest , ●hough not voluntary , yet hee 's Prest . 〈◊〉 Ballad-maker doth some profit reape , 〈◊〉 makes a Tiburne Dirge , exceeding Cheape , 〈◊〉 whil'st the Printers , and the dolefull Singers , 〈◊〉 in these gainefull busines dip their fingers . 〈◊〉 very Hangman hath the sleight and skill , 〈◊〉 extract all his goods from others Ill , 〈◊〉 is the Epilogue vnto the Law , 〈◊〉 from the jawes of Death his life doth draw . 〈◊〉 last , the Hangmans Broaker reapes the fruit , 〈◊〉 selling to one Thiefe anothers Sute . ●●sides Thieues are sit members , for 't is knowne , ●hey make men carefull how to keepe their owne , 〈◊〉 were it not for them , we still should lye ●●ck'd in the Cradle of security . ●ll'd in base Idlenes , and sluggish sloath , 〈◊〉 to all ill , and to all Goodnes loath . ●hich would infect vs , and corrupt the blood , ●nd therefore for our health's sake , Thieues are good . ●nd some men are so prone to steale , I thinke 〈◊〉 as Nat'rall as their meate and drinke , ●hey are borne to 't , and cannot doe withall , ●nd must be filching still , what e're befall . ●wispe of Rushes , or a Clod of land , 〈◊〉 any wadde of Hay that 's next to hand ●hey'l steale , and for it haue a good excuse , ●hey doe 't to keepe their hands in vre , or vse . ●ut not t' excuse a Thiefe in any case , 〈◊〉 there are some Crimes , as voyde of Grace , On whom men scarce haue feeling or a thought , Nor e're like Thieues are to the Gallowes brought Those that obey false Gods commit offence , Against th' Eternall Gods Omnipotence . Those that doe grauen Images adore , Are worse then Thieues , yet are not hang'd therefo●● T is Treason high , to take Gods Name in vaine , Yet most men doe 't , through frailty , or for Gaine ▪ The Saboth is prophan'd continually , Whil'st the offenders pay small penalty . And Parents are dishonour'd , without Awe , The whil'st the Children doe escape the Law. And Murther , though 't be ne're so foule and dead Is oft times made Man-slaughter or Chance-med Adultery's neighbourhood , and Fornication , May be Conniu'd at , with a tolleration . A Witnes , that false Testimony beares , T is a great wonder if he loose his Eares , But sure , the Prouerbe is as true as briefe , A Lyer's euer worser then a Thiefe , And 't is call'd Thrift , when men their mindes doe To couet how their Neighbours goods to get . To be vaine-glorious , and Ambitious proude Are Gentleman-like partes , must be allow'd . To beare an Enuy base and secretly , T is counted Wisedome , and great Pollicy . To be a Drunkard , and the Cat to whip , Is call'd the King of all good Fellowship . But for a Thiefe , the whole world doth Consent That Hanging is the fittest punishment . 〈◊〉 if that Law were put in Execution , ●hinke it would be Mankindes Dissolution : ●nd then we should haue Land and Tenements 〈◊〉 nothing , or for very easie Rents , ●hereby we see that man his wealth esteemes , 〈◊〉 better then his God , his soule it deemes : ●or let God be abusde , and let his soule ●●nne greedily into offences foule , 〈◊〉 scarcely shall be question'd for 't , but if ●mongst his other sinnes ) he play the Thiefe ●nd steale mens goods , they all will sentence giue , 〈◊〉 must be Hang'd , he is vnfit to liue . 〈◊〉 the Low Countryes , if a wretch doe steale 〈◊〉 Bread , or Meate , to feed himselfe a meale , ●hey will vnmercifully beat and Clowt him , ●●le , pull , and teare , & spurne , & kicke , & flowt him , ●ut if a Drunkard be vnpledg'd a Kan ●●awes out his Knife and basely stabs a man , 〈◊〉 runne away the Rascall shall haue scope , ●one holdes him , but all Cry Lope Scellum Lope , ●hus there 's a close Conniuence for all Vice , ●xcept for Theft , and that 's a Hanging price . ●ne man 's adicted to Blaspheme and sweare , ● second to Carowse , and Domineere : ● third to Whoring , and a fourth to Fight , ●nd Kill and slay , a fift man to Backbite , ● sixt and seauenth , with this or that Crime caught , ●nd all in generall much worse then nought . ●nd amongst all these sinners generall , ●he Thiefe must winne the Halter from them all , When if the matter should examin'd be They doe deserue it all , asmuch as he . Nor yet is Thieuery any vpstar sinne , But it of long Antiquity hath bin : And by this Trade Great men haue not disdain'd , To winne Renowne , and haue their states maintain Great Alexanders Conquests , what were they But taking others goods and Lands away : ( In manners ) I must call it Martiall dealing , But truth will tearme it Rob'ry , and flat stealing , For vnto all the world it is well knowne , That he by force , tooke what was not his owre . Some Writers are with Tamberlaine so briefe , To stile him with the Name of Scithian Thiefe . Licurgus lou'd , and granted guifts beside To Thieues that could steale , and escape vnspide : But if they taken with the manner were , They must restore , and buy the bargaine deere . Thieues were at all times euer to be had Exampled by the good Thiefe and the Bad. And England still hath bin a fruitfull Land Of Valiant Thieues , that durst bid true men stand One Bellin Dun , a famous Thiefe suruiu'd , From whom the Towne of Dunstable's deriu'd : And Robin Hood with little Iohn agreed To rob the Rich men , and the Poore to feede . The Priests had heere such small meanes for there●o● That many , of them were inforc'd to Thieuing . Once the Fift Henry could Rob exc'llent well , When he was Prince of Wales , as Stories tell . ●hen Fryer Tucke a tall stoute Thiefe indeed , ●ould better Rob and steale , then Preach or reed . 〈◊〉 Gosselin Deinuill , with 200. more , 〈◊〉 Fryers weedes , Rob'd , and were Hang'd therefore . ●hus I in Stories , and by proofe doe finde ●hat Stealing 's very olde , time out of minde , ●re I was Borne , it through the world was spread , ●nd will be when I from the world am Dead . But leauing thus , my Muse in hand hath tooke , To shew which way a Thiefe is like a Booke . A Comparison betweene a Thiefe and a Booke . COmparisons are odious , as some say , But my Comparisons are so no way , In the Pamphlet which I wrote before , Compar'd a Booke most fitly to a Whore : ●nd now , as fitly my poore Muse alludes , ● Thiefe t' a Booke in apt similitudes , A good Booke steales the minde from vaine pretences , From wicked Cogitations , and offences : 〈◊〉 makes vs know the worlds deceiuing plesures , And set our hearts on neuer ending Treasures . So when Thieues steale , our Cattle , Coyne or Ware , It makes vs see how mutable they are . Puts vs in mind that we should put our trust , Where Fellon cannot steale , or Canker rust . Bad Bookes through eyes and eares doe break & enter , And takes possession of the hearts fraile Center . Infecting all the little Kingdome Man , With all the poyso'nous mischiefe that they can , Till they haue Rob'd and ransack'd him of all Those thinges which men may iustly goodnes call , Robs him of Vertue , and Heau'nly grace And leaues him Begger'd , in a wretched case . So of our Earthly goods , Thieues steale the best , And richest Iewels , and leaue vs the rest . Men know not Thieues from true men by their look● Nor by their outsides , no man can know Bookes . Both are to be suspected , all can tell , And Wisemen e're they trust , will try them well . A Booke may haue a Title good and faire , Though in it one may finde small goodnes there : And so a Thiefe , whose actions are most vile , Steales good opinion , and a True mans stile . Some Bookes ( prophane ) the Sacred Text abuse , With common Thieues , it is a common vse . Some Bookes are full of lyes , and Thieues are so , One hardly can beleeue their yea or no. Some Bookes are Scurrilous , and too obsceane , And hee 's no right Thiefe that loues not a Queane . Some Book 's not worth the Reading for their fruites Some Thieues not worth the Hanging , for their sutes Some Bookes are briefe , and in few wordes declare Compendious matter , and Acutenesse rare , And so some Thieues will breake into a House , Or cut a Purse whilst one can cracke a Lowse . Some Bookes are arrogant and Impudent , So are most Thieues in Christendome and Kent . Some Bookes are plaine and simple , and some Thie●●● Are simply Hang'd , whil'st others get Reprieues . Some Bookes like foolish Thieues , their faults are sp●● Some Thieues like witty Bookes , their faults can hide ●ome Bookes are quaint and quicke in their Conceits ▪ ●ome Thieues are actiue , nimble in their sleights . ●ome Bookes with idle stuffe the Author fills , ●ome Thieues will still be Idle , by their wills . ●ome Bookes haue neither Reason , Law , or sence , No more haue any Thieues for their offence . ● Booke 's but one , when first it comes to th'Presse , 〈◊〉 may encrease to Numbers Numberlesse , And so one Thiefe perhaps may make threescore And that threescore may make ten thousand more , Thus from one Thiefe , Thieues may at last amount Like Bookes from one Booke past all mens account . And as with Industry , and Art , and Skill , One Thiefe doth dayly Rob another still , So one Booke from another ( in this Age ) Steales many a Line , a sentence or a Page . Thus amongst Bookes , good fellowship I finde , All thinges are common , Thieues beare no such minde . And for this Thieuing Bookes with Hue and Cry Are sought , ( as Thieues are ) for their Fellony . As Thieues are chasde and sent from place to place , So Bookes , are alwayes in continuall Chase. As Bookes are strongly Boss'd , and Clasp'd & bound , So Thieues are Manacled , when they are found : As Thieues are oft examin'd , for their Crimes , So Bookes are vsde , and haue bin at all times . As Thieues haue oft at their Arraignment stood , So Bookes are tride if they be bad or good . As Iuries and Graund Iuries , with much strife . Giue vp ( for Thieues ) a Verdict , Death or Life . So as mens fancies Euidence doe giue , The shame or fame of Bookes , to dye or liue : And as the veriest Thiefe may haue some friend , So the worst Bookes , some Knaue will still defend . As Thieues their Condemnation must abide , Bookes are deem'd true somtimes , somtimes bely'd . As Thieues are Iudged , so haue Bookes agen , As many Censures ( almost ) as are men . And as their faults are different in degree , Some Thieues are hang'd , some Bookes are burnt w● 〈◊〉 Some Thieues are for their small offences whip't , All Bookes are Prest , except a Manuscript . As Thieues are buryed , when the Lawe is paide , So some Bookes in obliuions Graue are laide . The Iaylors keepe the Thieues , and much regards The strength of Fetters , Locks , bolts , grates & wards And will knowe when and how abroad they goe , And vnto Bookes the Stacioners are so . Still Bookes and Thieues in one Conceit doe ioyne : For , if you marke them , they are all for Coyne . Some Thieues exceeding braue a man may finde In Sattin , and their Cloakes with Veluet linde : And some Bookes haue gay Coates vnto their backe When as their insides , goods and goodnes lackes . Some Bookes are all bet●tterd , torne and 〈◊〉 , Some Thieues endure a rugged punishment ▪ Some Thieues may come ( their sorowes to increase ) Before a shallowe Officer of Peace , One that can Cough , call kn●ue , & with non sense Commit , before be knowe for what offence : A Booke somtimes doth proue a Thieues true friend , And doth preserue him from a hanging end : For let a man at any Sessions looke , And still some Thieues are saued by their Booke . And so some Bookes to Coxcombs hands may come , Who can crye Pish , and Mew , and Tush , and Hum , Condemne ere they haue read , or throughly scand , Abusing what they cannot vnderstand . Some Thieues are like a Horne-booke , and begin Their A. B. C. of filching , with a Pin ; Their Primer is a Poynt , and then their Psalter May picke a Pocket , and come neere a Halter . Then with long practise in these Rudiments , To breake a House may be his Accidence , And vsing of his skill ( thus day by day ) By Grammer he may Rob vpon the way , Vntill at last , to weare ( it be his hap ) A Tiburne Tippet , or olde Stories Cap. That is the high'st degree which they can take , An end to all their Studies there they make : For amongst Thieues , not one amongst a score , ●f they be rais'd so high , they 'l steale no more . Thus the Comparisons holdes still you see , To Whores and Theiues , Bookes may compared bee . All are like Actors , in this wauering Age , They Enter all , vpon the worlds great Stage : Some gaine Applause , and some doe Acte amisse , And exit from the Scaffold with a Hisse . Now if my Whore or Theife play well their Parts , Giue them their due , Applaud their good deserts . If ill , To Newgate hisse them , or Bridewell , To any place , Hull , Halifax or Hell. And thus the Thiefe and Booke ioyne both in one ; Both hauing made an END , they both haue DON . Thus hauing Treated sufficiently of Whores and Whoring , and Thieues and Thieuing , I doe purpo●● shortly , to set forth a Pamphlet , in the Commendat●●ons of Iaylors and Iayles , with the necessity of Hangiing , and the Hangmans Art or Mystery , Compend●●ously described . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13419-e110 The Annagram of Rat is Art. * I touch not his Trauailes to Scotland Germany , or Bohemia or the Paper Boate. Notes for div A13419-e560 This Gentleman was pleased Annagrāmatically to call me Water-Rat , or water Art , which I doe Annagrammatize Water-Rat , to bee A trew Art. Notes for div A13419-e1200 * A Booke I writ called a Whore. In the 93. page of a Booke , called the Spirit of Detraction the Author cites 12. Parishes in one Hundred in Wales in this predicament . Iupiters Idol in Scracusa in Sicitia . The dore is Christ. One that 8 years since bought many houses , where I & many poore men dwelt , & presently raised our Rents , from 3. l. to 5. l. but I changed him quickly for a better . He cannot steale truly , or truly he cannot steale . * This fellowes Breches were not lynde with Apochri●ha . I heard of one that had the picture of the Deuill in the back linings of his Dublet witnes at the Swan in St. Mar●ids . * This Miller kept a Windmill not many yeres since at Purflet in Essex . Some say that he sold him the 4. Bushels againe , and then stole one bushell for toll . * He was the 40 . th King after Brute & he Raigned before Christs ' birth 171. yeares . The Annagram of Waterman is A TREW MAN. The Wher●yes were wont to haue all the Whores Till the Coaches Robd them of their Custom . It is cald a Kicksie winsie , or a Lerrio cun●●wang . To whom I in all humillity must euer , acknowledg my obedience and dutiful Thankfulnes and seruice . I have 700. Billes of their hands which in all co●●es to neer ; 00. l. The trade of Thieuing is very profitable to many men . Or none at all . Run thiefe Runne . Platarch . Hen. 1. Rich. 2. Edw. 3. Edw. 2. Notes for div A13419-e12210 There is od● betwixt a Keeper & a Iaylor the Stationer keepes Bookes against his wil , the Iaylor holdes Thieues with his will. 
A13421	----	A bavvd A vertuous bawd, a modest bawd: as shee deserves, reproove, or else applaud. Written by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1635 Approx. 70 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 25 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13421 STC 23731 ESTC S111351 99846713 99846713 11700 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13421) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 11700) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1118:10) A bavvd A vertuous bawd, a modest bawd: as shee deserves, reproove, or else applaud. Written by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [48] p. [By Augustine Mathewes?] for Henry Gosson, Printed at London : 1635. With a title-page woodcut. Printer's name conjectured by STC. Signatures: A-C. Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Prostitutes -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-09 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-09 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A BAWD . A vertuous Bawd , a modest Bawd : As Shee Deserves , reproove , or else applaud . Written by JOHN TAYLOR . Printed at London for Henry Gosson . 1635. To the neither Noble or Ignoble , Lord or Lady , kind or cruell , learned or ignorant , curteous or currish , Christian or Barbarian , Man or Woman , rich or poore : but to all and every one in generall and particular . MOnsieur , and Madam Hydra , to your many Heads and varietie of Censures I have made bold to dedicate a poore , harmelesse , modest , honest , and innocent Bawd ; I know great persons of worth and Honour , are daily so visited with penurious shreds of Schollership , fragments of Hexameters and Pentameters , scraps of Poetry , the scum and dregs of wit , and the froth and lees of wisdome : One salutes my Lords Lordship at Breakfast with a Funerall Elegie , lamentably written , and is most miserably rewarded for his kindness . Another hunts out his VVorships ungentlemanly Knighthood , ( having most intolerably be laboured his name with an Acroflicke or Anagram ) which out of his vacuitie of worthinesse hee rewards with not a peny . A third hath belyed such a Lady or Gentlewomans Beautie and qualities , in most abominable fashion , setting her forth for faire and vertuous ; for the which hee is rewarded according to the subject he wrote of , and his owne demerits , with as much as comes to nothing . For these and some other respects , I thought it not fit to desire the patronage of any one person in patticular , it being a subject that is common to all , for all , or any . At men are dispersed universally through the VVorld , so a Bawd , being an universall creature , whose function is publikely scattered , I thought it not pertinent or accomodating , that she should be privately protected by any . Therefore as she hath beene and is for al , so I dedicate her to all , knowing that all are better able to reward the Poet , than one alone . And this is further to advertise the Reader , that where I doe speake of Spirituall Bawdes , Bawdry , Adultery , or Fornication , that I have avoided prophanitie , obscenity , scurrilitie , and all manner of incivility or indecencie ; not medling with Religion at all , but with a pitiful derision , and merry reprehension , explaining the abuses , foppish and sottish corruptions , that like so many Cankers or Caterpillers have and doe dayly eate , consume and putrifie both the Puritie and Pietie of that Religion which boalts it selfe to be most Primitive and Catholike . For the other part of this Booke , or Bawd , shee is altogether civill or temporall , being not troubled so much as with one good Ecclesiastical word , but merely Paradoxicall ; setting foorth the rare and singular vertues of a Bawd ; wherein if any of my Readers can picke any pleasure , it is on apparant signe they have some wit , and if reape any profit , let them either thanke me in words , or else revvard me with silence . Yours so farre , and no further then you are mine , IOHN TAILOR . A BAVVD . MY Verse is honest , seemely , neat and cleane , Yet is my Theame polluted and obsceane : I le touch foule pitch , yet will not be defild , My Muse shall wade through dirt , & not be soild . The Sun on noysome dunghills shines as well , As on faire flowers that doe fragrant smell : The Ayre by which we live , doth every where Breathe still alike upon the poore and Peere . The Sea beares many an old despised * Boat , Yet on the Sea the best Ships doe but float , And Earth allowes to all her scattred brood , Food , Clothes and Lodging to the bad and good . Yet Sun , Ayre , Sea , nor Earth receive disgrace By any bountie which they give the base . Even so my Muse , ( free from all foule intents ) Doth take example from the Elements , In laying better studies by a while , And in cleane fashion write a beastly stile : Yet will I not my sense or meaning marre ; With tearmes obscure , or phrases fetcht from farre Nor will I any way equivocate , With words sophisticall , or intricate , Vtopian-Fustianisme , poore heathen Greeke , To put my Readers wits to groape and seeke . Small eloquence men must expect from me , My Schollership will name things as they be . I thinke it good , plaine English , without fraud , To call a spide a spade , a Bawd a Bawd. Two little Pamphlets I have wrote before , Which I was bold to call a Thiefe , and Whore , Yet was my Whore so chaste , that she had not , From end to end , one foule offensive spot ; Nor did my Thiefe from any man purloyne , Or liv'd by filching either goods or coyne . And now by chance it came into my mind , That with the Bawd my Pen was much behind : My Whore was honest , and my Thiefe was true , And in this sort I le give the Bawd her due . Strange fruit from my poore barren labour springs , I modestly must immodest things : 'T is somewhat hard , but yet it is no riddle , All Bawdry doth not breed below the middle . So many severall sorts of Bawds doe grow , That where there 's not a Bawd , 't is hard to know . The first with spirituall Bawds , whose honor high Springs from the whoredome of Idolatry , Cast but your eyes upon the Man of Rome , That stiles himselfe the Head of Christendome , Christs universall Vicar , and Vicegerent , In whom fooles thinke the Truth is so inherent , That he can soules to Heaven or Hell preferre , And being full of Errours , cannot erre : And though his witchraft thousands hath entic'd , Hee will be call'd Lieutenant unto Christ. How hath that false Conventicle of Trent , Made lawes , wch God , or good men never meant , Commanding worshipping of stones and stocks , Of Relikes , dead mens bones , and senslesse blocks , From which adultrate painted Adoration , Men ( worse then stocks or blocks ) must seek salvation ? The Soules of men are His that dearly bought thē , And he the only way to Heav'n hath taught them . And who so forceth them to false adoring , Is the maine Bawd unto this spirituall Whoring . Besides , it is apparent , and most cleare , That he 's the greatest Bawd the Earth doth beare : For hee that tolerates the Stewes erection , Allowes them Priviledges and Protection , Shares in the profit of their sordid sweat , Reapes yearely Pensions and Revenues great , Permits the Pole-Shorne fry of Friers and Monks , For Annuall stipends to enjoy their Puncks . When * Paul the third the Romish Miter wore , Hee had contributary Trulls such store , To five and fortie thousand they amount , As then Romes Register gave true account . Besides , it was approv'd , the gaine was cleere * Full twentie thousand Duckats every yeere . Moreover , once a Bishop ( boasting said , He had Ten Thousand Priests that paid ( Some more , some lesse ( by way of Rent or fines ; Each * one of them for keeping Concubines . And he that keepes none , payes as much as he As for his vse doth keepe one , two or three . Al 's one , the Priests must pay t'augmēt the treasure Keepe or not keep , Whore or not Whore at pleasure . Now judge , good Reader , have I said amisse , Was ever any Bawdry like to this ? Pope a Alexander of that name the sixt , With his owne childe incestuously commixt . And Paul the third ( affecting the said Game ) With his owne b daughter did commit the same : And after with his sister tooke such course , That he with her did doe as bad or worse . Iohn the thirteenth , and other more , 't is plaine Have with their sisters and their daughters laine , And when their stomacks have beene gone & past , To Princes they have married them at last . Here 's Bawds of State , of high and mighty place , Our Turnbul street poore Bawds to these are base . But these brave doings better to disclose , A little while I le turne my Verse to Prose . The forenamed Lucrece being dead , had this Epitaph bestowed on her , written by Pontanus : Here lies Lucrece by name , but Thais in life , The Popes child , and spouse , & yet his ownsons wife . Besides , I found a cursed catalogue of these veneriall Caterpillers , who were suppressed with the Monasteries in England , in the time of King Henry the eight , with number of trugs , which each of them kept in those daies , as those ; Christopher Iames a Monke of the Order of Saint Bennet in Canterbury , had three whores , all married women : William Abbot of Bristoll , foure : Nicholas Wbyden Priest kept foure in Windsor Castle : in the same place George Whitthorne five , Nicholas Spoter five , Robert Hunne five , Robert Daveson sixe , Richard the Prior of Maidenbeadly five ; In Shuldred Monastery in Chichester Diocesse , George Walden the Prior seven , Iohn Standnep seven , Nicholas Duke five ; In Bath Monastery Richard Lincombe seven , three of them married : Iohn Hill in the Cathedrall Church at Chichester but thirteen ; Iohn White Prior of Bermondsey had no more but twentie : all this Rabble was found and known in England ; let a man imagine then how many were not known , and what a goodly brood of Barnes were fathered upon those that never begat them : withall , if England were so stored with them , it is not to bee doubted but all the rest of the Christian world did swarme with these lecherous Locusts . Moreover , much knavery ( Bawdery I should say ) may bee covered under the vaile of Auricular Confession ; for the Priest having a yong prettie maid or wife at shrift , will know her disposition , groape out all her secret conveyances , and craftily underfeele her policies , and for a penance for her faults past , she is enjoyned to commit a sin present . The unloading of her Conscience ( many times ) proving the burthen of her belly Forty weekes after . And in this manner the most zealous Catholike , or the most jealous Italian , may bee most devoutely cornuted under the cloake of Confession and Absolution . Besides a most pernicious Bawd is hee , That for poore b scraps , and a bare ten pounds fee , Dares not his mighty Patron to offend , Or any way his vices reprehend , Nor preach 'gainst pride , oppression , usury , Dice , drinke , or drabbes , vaine oathes or simony , Nor Veniall sinne or Mortall , or nothing That may his Worship in the Withers wring : But every way must fit his Text and time , To leave untoucht th' Impropriators crime : Thus those whose functions Heaven doth signifie , ( Who should like trumpets lift their voices high ) Are mute and muzled , for a hireling price , And so are Bawds unto their Patrons vice ; For hee 's a Bawd who doth his living winne , By hiding , or by flattring peoples sinne . The * Prince of darknesse , King of Acheron , Great Emperour of Styx and Phlegeton , Cocytus Monarch , high and mighty Dis , Who of Great Limbo-lake Commander is , Of Tartary , of Erebus , and all Those Kindomes which men Barathrum doe call , Hee is the chiefest Bawd , and still he plods To send us whoring after godlesse gods : And by his sway , and powerfull instigation , Hath made the world starke drunke with fornication . For since the first Creation , never was The least degree of Bawdry brought to passe , But he began it , and contriv'd it still , He layd the plot , and did the Act fulfill . So that of all the Bawds that ever were , The Devill himselfe the Bell away doth beare : Yet all his whoring base Idolatrie , Did seeme Religious zealous sanctitie . As thus He blinded and withdrew people so farre from the service and knowledge of the true God , that they prayed to Pomona for the encrease of their fruit , to Ceres for Corne and Graine , to Silvanus for wilde-fowle , to Bacchus for wine , to Neptune for fish , to Mars for the successe of Wares and Captaines , to Phoebus for Physicke and Musicke , to Saturne for labourers and workmen in husbandry , to Pallas for valour , to Minerva for wisdome , to Iupiter for men of state and port , to Inno for Pompe and Iewels , to Vulcan for fire and lightening , to Venus for beauty and lascivious pleasure , to Luna for calmnes and faire weather , to Pluto for riches , to Mercury for learning and eloquence , to Flora for flowers , to Proteus for disguises , to Pan for Pypers , to Eolus for winds and stormes , to Bellona for battells and conquests , to Lucina for women with child , to Faunus for Goats and Venison , to Clotho for spinning out the thread of life , to Lachesis for wynding or reeling it , and to Atropos for cutting it off : my hee led them into more ridiculous sorts of spirituall adultery , as to worship with religious adoration , Cats , Dogges , Toades , Beetles , Serpents , Fooles , Madmen , Privies Onions , Garlicke , and many other damnable inventions , not to be numbred . Neverthelesse , whosoever will but looke into the lying Legend of Golden Gullery ; there they shall finde that the poore seduced ignorant Romanists doe imitate all the idolatrious fornication of the Heathen Pagans , and Infidels ; and that they put their Hee and Shee Saints , to farre more baser and ignominious offices , then these vnbeleevers of former ages did dare to put vpon their ( vaine imaginarie ) gods , as they make Saint Crespine a Shoomaker , and Saint Roch the Patron of Sowters and Coblers , they put Saint Wendelin to keepe sheepe , and they make Saint Pelage a Cowheard or Neatherd , Saint Antony hath the protection of their Swine , Saint Vitus or Vitellus , aelias , Saint Calfe , an exellent patron or protector to cure those that are bitten of a Spider called Terrantulla , or Phallanx . They acknowledge Saint Gertrude for an exellent Rat-catcher , and Saint Hubert for a good Dogge-keeper ( some say a cunning Huntsman : ) the Smiths must pray to Eloye , the Painters to Saint Luke , the Bakers must inuocate Saint Honore , the Mariners Saint Nicholas , Saint Yue is for the Lawyers , and Saint Anne to finde things that are stolne or lost , whilst Saint Leonard is the onely Saint to set prisoners at liberty , by opening the dores in the night , and make their Shackles fall off without any noyse or knocking . Besides they make Iob a Physician to cure the Pox , when as that foule disease was not knowne in any part of the world many hundred yeares after Iobs dayes ; for in the yeare 1496. ( Charles the eight being then the French King ) the Pox was brought from Naples into France , having but a little before bin very thriftily by the Spaniards purchased from the Americans or West Indians : And therefore they doe Iob wrong to make a Mountebank of him , in ascribing cures to him beyond his skill or knowledge : but all is one for that , he must be content with his office , as Saint Valentine is with the falling sickness , Saint Roch with scabs and scurfes , Saint Sebastian with the Plague , Saint Entrope the Dropsie , Saint Genou the Gowt , Saint Petronella the Ague or any Fever , Saint Apollonia the Tooth-ach ; * Saint Romane , they say , dispossesseth Devils out of the possessed , & Saint Maturine is the mad mens Saint to cure the Frenzie . It is to bee doubted , that Physicians and Chirurgians have small takings , where all these skilfull Saints are so employed , except now and then they get a Patient by chance , when the good Saint is over-busied , or not at leasure . Moreover , there is a great contention amongst them , to what Saint they shal commit the keeping of their Geese : some will have Saint Andoch , some Saint Gallicet , and some Saint Feriall : the businesse is very weighty , and requires mature deliberation and ripe judgement : some there are that would deprive Saint Wendoline ( before named ) of his keeping sheepe , and bestow the place upon Saint Woolfe , which is a very unsutable name for a Shepheard . By this which hath been said , the Reader may perceive what a cunning Bawd the Devill is , to adulterate the true service of the eternall God with these whorish inventions . And so though I could amplifie this point to a larger extent , in describing spirituall Bawds and Bawdry , yet now I thinke fitting to avoid tediousnesse , and to treat of this subject in other garbes and fashions . It is reported by Henry Stephens in his Apology or defence of Herodotes , the first Book , 21. Chapt. pag. 182. That a merry disposed Priest got a pretty Lasse behind the high Altar upon a good Friday in the morning , where he thought all the Hee and Shee Saints were contented to keepe Counsell , but it was knowne to the Legate of Auignion ( by the intelligence of no Saint ) which Legate after hee had wisely considered on what day and time , and in what place the cleanely conveiance was acted , he out of his charitie concluded a Priest to be mortall , and that flesh was fraile , for which respects ( upon promise of amendment ) hee was absolved and released . Moreover great * Emperours and Kings have beene Bawdes , as Suetonius Tranquillius writes of Tiberius Caesar , that he had Cels , and Caves , and Vaults in his house , where hee had a nursery of Whores , and oftentimes would have the execrable sport committed in his presence . The Emperour Domitian followed his admirable example , and Heliogabolus went so farre beyond them in the Art of Bawdry , that he made Punies of them both . And of latter yeares a * King of Castile , called Henry the unable , because he could uot have a child by his wife to inherit after him : he kindly intreated one of his Lords to take the paines to beget an Heire for him . There was a rich Burger of Antwerp , a Mercer by his trade , who was a Bawd to his owne wife ( though it was against his will or knowledge ) but I blame him not , for I doubt hee hath many more fellowes as innocent and ignorant as himselfe , but this was the case , his wife wearing Corke-shooes , was somewhat light-heel'd , and like a foule player at Irish , sometimes she would beare a man too many , and now and then make a wrong Entrance : The summe was that shee lou'd a Doctor of Physicke well , and to attaine his company shee knew no better or safer way , then to faine her selfe sicke , that he under the colour of visitation might feele her pulses , and apply such cordiall Remedies as might either ease or cure her . In briefe , the Doctor being sent for , comes and finds the Mercer her husband walking in his shop with a neighbour of his , where after a Leash of Conges , and a brace of Baeza los manus , the Mercer told him that his Wife is a languishing sicke woman , and withall intreats him to take the paines to walke up the staires , and minister some comfort unto her . Master Doctor , who knew her disease by the Symptomes , ascends up into the Chamber to his longing Patient , staying an houre with her , applying such directions and refections , that her health was upon the sudden almost halfe recoveered ; so taking his leave of her ( with promise of often visitation ) hee comes downe into the shop , where the guiltlesse Bawd her husband was , who demanding of the Doctor how all did above , truely quoth he , much better then when I came , but since I went up , your wife hath had two such strange violent fits upon her , that it would have grieved your very heart to have seene but part of one of them . I my selfe doe know two men that lighted by chance into one of these houses of Iniquitie in Antwerpe , and I dare be sworne that they went to commit no carnall act , nor did commit any ; but they perceiving a pretty painted peece of Punks flesh , did suspect in what house they were , the one of them taking her by the hand , did aske her some questions ( wherein I thinke was not one word of God ; ) the other impatient that his fel'ow had ingrost all the familiarity and talke with the wench , begins to stampe , knocke and call , at which the man of the house enters , demanding , What doe ye lacke ? You base rascall , quoth the other , have you no more Whores in your house , must I stand like a Iacke an Apes heere empty handed ? Good sir , ( quoth mine Hoast ) bee patient , and I will presently send mine owne wife to waite upon you . Nor is the skill and knowledge of a substantiall or absolute Bawd easily gotten or learned ; no my Masters , there is more in the matter then so ; Frist , shee is a young prettie Girle , and passeth time away in the instructions , rudiments , and documents of a Whore , till she hath attained ( with many hazards ) to the yeares of 30 or 35. in all which space she hath not spent her time idlely , but hath beene a creature of much use , having for the common cause , adventur'd the blemmish of her Reputation , the rigour of the Lawes , as whippings , Penance , Imprisonments , Fines , Fees to Justices Clarkes , Beadles , and such inferiour Reliques of Authoritie . Besides , her valorous combates and conflicts with Diseases , ( wherein shee often approves her selfe one of the profitablest members in a Common-wealth to Physicians and Chyrurgians : ) having ( I say ) passed all these degrees with much perill and jeopardie of her body , * then looke higher and thinke but on the shipwracke of her soule , ( an adventure of a greater price then shee is aware of ; ) then towards the declining of her life , and that her beautie fades , What a deale of charge is shee at with sophisticated Art , White and Red , to emplayster decayed Nature ? Her humilitie being such , that when her owne head is bald , shee will weare the cast haire of any hee for shee sinner , that made a voyage in a string from Tyburne , to either Heaven or Hell. And lastly , when as Art can no longer hide the sorrowed or wrinkled deformities of her over-worne Age ; then ( like a true wel-willer to the old trade shee hath ever followed , ) Whoring having left her very unkindly before shee was vvilling to leave it : shee , ( as her proper right for her long service ) takes upon her the office and authority of a Bawd , and as shee was brought up her selfe , so with motherly Care her Imployment is to bring up others , wherein her paines is not small , in hyring Countrey wenches , that come up weekely with Carryers , and putting them in Fashion , selling one Maydenhead three or foure hundred times , and sometimes with great labour and difficulty shee 's forced to perswade mens wiues and daughters ; all which considered , a Bawd doth not get her living with so great ease as the world supposeth ; nor is her adventure , paines , charge and perill to be inconsiderately slighted . And as blabbing , babbling , taletelling , and discovering the faults and fraileties of others , is a most cōmon and evill practice amongst too many : so on the other side , the vertues of a Bawd are much illustrated and confirmed by contrary effects : For she is the maine store-house of secresie , the Maggazin of taciturnity , the closet of connivence , the inumbudget of silence , the cloakebagge of councell , and the Capcase , sardle , packe , * male , ( or female ) of friendly toleration . Shee is full of intolerable charity , for her whole trade and course of life is to hide and cover the faults of the greatest offenders , in which regard shee is one of the principall secretaries to the great Goddesse Venus , and one of her industrious vigilant most horrible priuie counsell , not being ignorant of the liberall Arts and Sciences , and exceedingly qualified in the seven deadly sinnes . And ( for her further behoofe ) shee hath and insight and can fashion her selfe to the humors of all Nations , degrees , conditions , mysteries and occupations . First , for her knowledges in the Arts and Sciences , she hath the grounds of a Grammar , whereby she can speake and write Amorously , fainedly , merrily , lamentably , craftily , purposely , Bawdily : these words all ending in Lye ( doe make her true dealing questionable ) yet her ayme is to live profitably , though her fate is to dye miserably . Her skill in b Astronomy cannot be small , for shee hath beene an often starre-gazer lying on her backe , practis'd in elevations , retrogradations , Conjunctions , and planetary revolutions ; but indeed shee is more addicted to accept the Moone for her Mistresse , then the Sunne for her Master , which makes her expert in nightworkes , ever changing from quarter to quarter , not long abiding in any place : sometimes shining in Lady-like resplendant brightnesse with admiration , and suddenly againe eclipsed with the pitchy and tenebrous clouds of contempt and deserved defamation . Sometimes at the Full at Pickt-hatch , and sometimes in the Wane at Bridewell , A Bawd is a c Logician , which is perceived by her subtill and circumventing speeches , doubtfull and ambiguous Apothegmes , double significations , intricate , witty , and cunning equivocations , ( like a skilfull Fencer that casts his eye upon a mans foot , and hits him a knock on the pate ) so she , by going the further about , comes the neerer home , and by casting out the Lure , makes the Tassel-gentle come to her fist . For Rhetoricke , she must have the Theoricke and Practicke , that though the subject of her Discourse or writing be foule and deformed , yet must shee ( like a d Medicine-monger , Quack-salver , that covers his bitter pils in Sugar ) with the Embroidery of her Ecquence , flourish over her immodest pretences , under the inchanting and various colours of pleasure , profit , estimation , love , reputation , and many more the like . But of all the e Arts , I think she be most unperfect in Arithmaticke ; for though she hath been brought up to know Divisions & Multiplications , yet shee hath traded but by Retaile , altogether in Fractions and broken Numbers , so that her accounts were seldome or never to number her dayes , not caring for the Past or the Future , her mind ( like a Diall ) alwayes fixed upon the Present given much to over and under-reckonings , for at fourty yeeres old she would be but twenty one , & at threescore she will be no lesse then fourescore : so that the marke being out of her mouth , we must take the Apocryphall account of her age from her owne Arithmaticke without any further warrant . Cornelius Agrippa approves a Bawd for an excellent a Geometrician for devising engines to climbe into windowes , as ladders of Ropes , or such like , to scale the castle of comfort in the night , or the making of Picklocks or false keyes , wherein the Bawds care and providence is great , in greazing & oyling locks , bolts and hinges , to avoid noyse , she knowes her Angles , Triangles , quadrangles , squares , rounds , circles , semicircles and centers , her altitudes , longitudes , latitudes and dimensions ; yet for all this skill of hers , she hath much adoe to live squarely , according to Geometricall rules , or to live within any reasonable Compasse . As for b Musicke , it is to be conjectured by her long practise in Prickesong , that there is not any note above Ela , or below Gammoth , but she knows the Diapason : ( a Bawd is old dog at a Hornepipe . her chiefest Instrument is a Sackbut , her female minikins do bring in her Meanes , and her Trebles , the Tenor of all is that her selfe is the Base . ) Besides , there are many pretty provocatory Dances , as the Kissing dance , the Cushin dance , the Shaking of the sheets , and such like , which are important instrumentall causes , whereby the skilfull hath both clients and custome . c Poetry many times ( though shee understand it not ) doth her as good service ; for the most of our great Bawds are diligently waited on by scurrilous oylie sonneting , practicall , Poeticall , Panegyricall Panders , quaint trencher Epigrammatists , hungry and needy Anagrammongers , their conceits being either commending or provoking Bawdry : as one being requested by a Gentleman to invent him a poesie for a Ring which hee ment to give his Love , the conceit was : Have you any Logges to cleave ? a Painting and graving are now and then profitable servants to Bawds , as the naked Pictures of Venus , and Diana and her darlings ; Aretine , and divers other in that kinde can testifie ; but commonly all shee - Bawds , are or have beene painters themselves or painters of themselves , by which bold practice they are bold , adventrous , impudent , and audacious , fearing no colours . As for b Physické and Chirurgery , she hath beene so much practis'd vpon , that by long continuance , shee 's a most excellent Empericke , so that a man need not doubt but an ancient professed Bawd can play the Mountebanke . Moreover , many old Bawds are skil'd in c Palmestry or Chiromancy , by looking into the hand of a man or woman , or Phisiognomy , and Metoposcopi , in viewing of the face or forehead , by which shee professeth to tell the parties how many husbands or wives they shall have , how long they shall live , when they are neere a good or bad turne ; but above all , her skill is much credited to helpe yong women breed and fructifie , so that if shee be as barren as a Stockfish , yet the matronly medicines and instructions of this wise cunning woman , will in a little time make her encrease with a vengeance , and multiply with a mischiefe . Besides her skill in these forenamed Arts and sciences , she hath an insight and practice into all Mysteries and manuall trades ; she can imitate a deceitfull d Mercer in setting out her ware , faire to the eye , and false in the dye , with an outside of glorious glosse , and an inside of rotten decayed drosse , more for pride or pleasure , then for providence or profit . Like a bold a Grocer , she cares not a Figge for any man , she knows flesh is fraile , yet she hath many Reasons to live by , she runns her race long , and she is able to Pepper as many as have any dealing with her ; tooth Likorish , tongue Lickorish , &c. Shee knowes a bribe to a Catchpole is a sufficient as an Almond for a Parrot , to free her from the heate of the Mace. Master Clove at the signe of the Sugar-loafe , is a sweet youth , whose Candied Visitation will keepe her estate Currant till age and diseases weare her quite out of date . b A young rich heire newly come to his lands or portion , is a Bawds Broadcloth , whom she measures out in parts , I will not tell you with what yard , but I thinke no London measure , till in the end , onely a poore Remnant remaines ; her meaner Merchandise are Tradesmen , and poore Serving-men ; these serve for course Kersies , Bayes , Cottons , and Pennistones , to line her inside with Sacke , Hot waters , and Aqua vitae . Though shee live after the flesh , all is c Fish that comes to the Net with her ; shee is a cunning Angler , and gets her living by hooke or by crooke , shee hath bayts for all kinde of Frye : A great Lord is her Groneland Whale , a Countrey Gentleman is her Cods-head , a rich Citizens sonne is her Sows'd Gurnet , or her Gudgeon , A Puritan is her Whiting-mopp , her Lobster is a Scarlet Townsman , and a severe Iustice of Peace is her Crab ; her meanest Customers are Sprats and Pilchards , whilest the Puncke is her Salt Eele , and the Pander her Sharke & Sword-fish ; And though shee deale most in Scorpio , yet shee holds correspondencie with Pisces , for they are both Signes that attend upon Venus : Friday is her day , and a day of doome to more Fish then all the dayes in the weeke beside . And Fish by nature is provocatory , as appeares by the chaste lives of fasting fish-eating Fryers and Nuns , whose notorious ( qusia ) meritorious continency is touched partly afore . She differs from the d Goldsmith in the Touch , the Test , and the Weight , yet she puts the best side of her ware outward ; shee casts and hammers her wenches into all fashions ; she hath them burnished , polish'd , punsh'd and turn'd , and if any of them by a fall , or too much heat bee bruis'd , crack'd , or broken , shee can soder them together againe , and make them marketable . There is scarce any Art , Mystery , Trade or Manuall Occupation , but a Bawd hath a reference or allusion to it , or it to her . Therefore to runne division through them all , would be long labour to little purpose : In which respects having spoken of a few , I le skip over the rest to avoyd tediousnesse ; and to free my selfe from the imputation of partialitie , I will at last allude her to a Water-man ; for of all Degrees , Languages , Tongues , Nations , Ages , Sexes , Functions , and Fraternities are welcome and well entertain'd to the one and the other ( provided that they bring money in their purses . ) And as the Waterman rowes one way , and looks another , so a Bawds words and meaning doe very seldome goe together . Our five Senses are the Cinque Ports of Bawdry , each one in his office being the Hearts Baud : The Hearing conveyes Tunes , Tales , Rymes , Riddles , Songs , Sonnets , and Madrigals . The Sigh● wanders , searcheth , seekes , finds and brings hom● ( into the very bedchamber of the heart ) amoro●● actions : provocatory gestures , effeminate glances , alluring lookes , pictures of prostitution , and veneriall vanities . The Taste playes the Bawd with both Art and Nature , and searcheth through the Earth , Seas and Skies for variety of temptation poore and innocent Lamstones , Potatoes , Eringoes Crabs , Scallops . Lobsters , Wilkes , Cockles , Oysters , Anchoves and Caveare , Cock-sparrowes , Coxcombe-pyes , and all manner of feathered fowle from the Eagle to the Wren , doe waite vpon the Taste , and the Taste attends the appetite . The Snul is the senting Bawd , that huffs and snuffs up and downe , and hath the game alwayes in the winde , that is a right smell-smocke sense , who is wonderfully pleased to be led by the nose , can hunt dry foot , and smell out venery nimbler then a pinchgut Vsurer will nose out a feast . Touching or Feeling is a very merry Bawd and though a man or woman can neither Heare , See , Taste or Smell , yet Feeling may remaine : It is the last sense that keeps vs companie , and were it not for feeling , all the rest of the sences were but senceslesse . And thus much more in excuse of a Bawd , though shee live by one of the Seaven Deadly Sinnes which is Lechery ; No man can deny Pride too be ●●other of the said Septarchy , yet the Mercer , the Silkeman , the Embroyderer , the Drawer , the Cutter , the Taylor & the Feather-maker , the new fashion-monger , the Divell and all thrive by Pride , and might shut up shop , if Pride were not . Gluttonie and Drunkennesse is another of the brood , yet were it not for superfluous , voluptuous gurmandizing , and extraordinary swinish swilling and drinking ; the Wine-Merchant , the Vintner , the Malt-man , the Brewer , the Tapster , Poulterer , the sellers of Eringoes and Potatoes , and the Cooke would have but very cold takings . Couetousnesse is another whelpe of the same kind , yet were it not for ravenous oppression , devouring Extortion , biting Vsury , Bribery , Detoir , and Coozenage , Dives would not , or could not fare deliciously and bee clad in Purple , nor the hackney Coach bee in such common request . Envie is a high point of State , and he is no perfect Politician that repines not at the happinesse of all men ( but himselfe : ) commonly it gives due attendance in Princes Courts , and feedes vpon the detraction of Noble actions ; It eates into honour as a Canker doth into the best and choysest fruit , yet doth it live , thrive , weare good cloathes , is esteemed a talent of high wisedome and valour . Wrath is a blood-hound of the aforesaid kennell , yet Armourers , Cutlers , Fencers , Chyrgians , and Bone-setters would bee idle , and vnimployment and meanes , if Wraeth did not overcome Patience , and Madnesse dispossesse Discretion and Reason . Sloth is the last of the list , ( and wel may it come last , because it is the laziest ) yet is it a Gentleman like quality , and a Lady-like disposition to be idle and live upon the sweat of others ; Manuall trade or handicrafts are counted base and mercenary , a good industry is contemptible ; laudable endevour Mechanicall , and to take paines and labour , is drudgery and meere slavery . Thus by Pride a man may come to bee one of the Masters of his Parish ; by Gluttony and Drunkennesse , he may hap to mount to a place of reputation and worship ; by Covetousnesse he may get a damnable deale of wealth , and be accounted a good man ; by Envy , he may be esteemed conceited , politike , grave and wise : by Wrath hee may gain the titles of valiant and resolute ; and by Sloth and Idlenesse hee may be perfectly knowne for a Ge●●man : * And is it not a wonder , that these sixe deadly sinnes , should bee so uncharitable to the seventh , as to rob it of all earthly reputation , where if a man doe consider them rightly , there is never a barrell better Herring ; nor doth the Bawd live in a worse estate or condition , than the Proudest Gluttonous Drunkard , or the most Covetous , Envious wretch : The Wrathfull bloudy villaine , or the idle slothfull drone , are clogd with vices as vile and abominable as a Bawd , yet for all this , the purblind partiall world doth hugge , embrace , cherish and reverence all these enormities , onely a Bawd , a silly painfull , serviceable Bawd , is held odious and contemptible . Commonly most of the shee - Bawds have a peculiar priviledge more than other women : for generally they are not starveling creatures , but well larded and embost with fat , so that a Bawd hath her mouth three stories of Chinnes high , and is a well-fed Embleme of plentie ; and though shee bee but of small estimation , yet is she alwayes taken for a great woman amongst her neighbours . * On former Shrove-Tuesdayes , when the unruly Rabble did falsely take upon them the name of London Prentices , then two or three thousand of those boot-haling pillaging Rascalls , vvould march madly to the habitations of the most famous Bawds , where they would robustiously venter , breaking open Doores , battring downe Wals , tearing downe tyles , pulling downe windowes , rending Trunkes , Chestes , Cupboords , Tables , and Bedsteads in pieces ; ripping and embowelling Bolsters and Featherbeds , ravishing her mayds or stale virgins , spoyling all they stole not , and stealing what they liked , beating the grave Bawd , and all her female vermine , most unmanly and vnmannerly . In all which uncivill civill hostilitie , the singular patience of the Bawd , is worthy admiration ; not giving any of these landsharkes an ill word , or shewing any signe of anger or desire of revenge , but intreating the most rough-hewd Rogues in the company , with the stiles of honest worthy Gentlemen with I pray you , I humbly desire you , I heartily - beseech you , to asswage your fury , appease your wrath mollifie your anger , suppresse your ire , mitigate your rage . These and like Phrases a modest ancient Bawd would discreetly vtter to her greatest enemies , rendring good words for bad deedes , when they were doing or had done to her all the mischiefes before named , nor ever after would shee offer to take any legall course , as to cause them to bee brought before a Iustice , whereby the Law might in some sort give her satisfaction . In which sufferance the great patience of a Bawd is remarkable . We doe esteeme a Fountaine , Well , or Spring to be the more cleere from poyson , if a Toad , Newt , or a snake , be in either of them , for we imagine that those venimous creatures doe sucke or extract all the contagion of that Christaline Element into themselves . a In the like nature , a Bawd is the snuffers of the Common-wealth , and the most wholesome or necessary Wheele-barrow or Tumbrell , for the close conveyance of mans luxurious nastinesse , and sordid beastiality . Ravens , Kites , Crowes , and many other birds of prey , are tolerated to live unhurt , not for any good that is in themselves , but because they doe good offices in devouring and carying away our Garbage and noysome excrements , which they live by ; and if they were not our voluntary Scavengers , we should be much annoyed with contagious savours of these corrupted offals . These are the right paternes of an industrious Bawd , for shee pickes her living out of the laystall on dunghil of our vices ; if she thrive and grow fat , it is with the Merdurinous draffe of our imperfections , ( for shee is seldome beholding to an honest man for so much as a meales meat ) she robs not the vertuous of any part of their virtue , she lives only by the vicious , and in this sort she is an executioner of sinners , and in the end gives the most wicked cause to repent , leaving them such aking remembrance in their joynts , that their very bones rattle in their skins . In other trades , when Apprentices come out of their yeares , they are allowed to set up for themselves , and to have other Apprentices under them . He that hath been a Grammar Scholler , when hee commeth to ripenesse of learning and judgement , will thinke himselfe able and sufficient to bee a Schoolemaster , and to have Schollers under him : and why should not b Whores have a Mistresse of their owne dealing-trade , that they may have Apprentices under their nurture and discipline , who may by their obedience in their minoritie , be advanced to command others in the same mysterie or occupation ? And therfore the law ( in this point ) favouring their vocation , why should any Consorious Cato plead the Law for banishing of any Bawdes ? Why should any Ecclesiasticall Lawes in Forraigne Countreyes , debarre Bawds and their disciples from the Sacrament ; as if they were not i●● Charity , when as they are knowne to be so Catholikely charitable , that they extend their c loue to all without exception , and are ready enough to forgive all the world , knowing themselves to be such great offenders , that they much need forgivenesse ? Wel fare d the Common-wealth plotted to Plato , who would have no woman appropriate to any man ( it seemes he was a great enemie against inclosures , who would have all thus lye common ) his reason was very Phylosophicall , the like whereof is not to bee found either in Don Quixot , or Sir Thomas Moores Vtopia , namely , that when no child had any proper father , every man would love every childe as his owne , and so the whole City should be happy in a Combination of an universall love equally extended to all . If so wise a man as Plato , was not ashamed to make himselfe the universall Bawd of a whole Common-wealth , why should any of our unlearned neighbours that have read farre fewer Bookes then hee , bee ashamed to bee accounted procuring Panders in one house , in the skirts of a City , for the Platonicall Conjunction of their neighbours within a street or two adjoyning . * In Italy and most civill Countreys , it is counted a most vncivill curiosity to aske any man ( though after long acquaintance ) of what religion he is , or whence he commeth , or whither he goeth , or whether hee bee a marryed man , or intend to marry . Who then more civill or fairely mannered then the Bawdes : or they never put any of their customers to the racke to confesse , nor doe they torture their guests with the sawcy inquiry of whence come you ? How long will you tarry in Towne ? Have you a wife at home Or are you a loose Batchelor ? are you a Gentleman ? a Merchant , or Tradesman ? are you a Catholike , or reformed ? the Bawd I say , is so civill , that shee never will aske any of these questions ; one thing onely she studieth and practiseth , which is diligently to demand* whether a man have any mony in his purse , which is no impertinent question : for the Law doth authorize a Landlor to demand his Rent vpon the ground where it is due , although sometimes hee lets his tenant enjoy his house or land a quarter , of halfe a yeere before he receive any rent : A waterman sweats and lands his fare before he lookes for mony . The Host suffers his guest to eate his meate , before anon , anon , with the white Apron comes in with thus much to pay , and yee are welcome ; no man at any game takes up his winnings before the Game be wonne ; an Vsurer takes no forfeit before the day of payment be part ; but the Bawd in her demand is more wise and provident , then all these trades and functions , for shee like a Butcher takes present pay for her flesh , she will be sure to have her wages before she afford you her penny-worth , you shall not drinke at her muddy Well before you pay for it . Shee knowes that Hope and Desire of that which is to come , is a better paymaster , then grudging remembrance of fruition of that which is past . Herein shee hath good examples to follow of no meane vocatious , the learned Physician and Chirurgian would be loth to exspect their reward till the cure be performed ; the honestest Lawyer would plead but coldly if he might receive no Fees till his clients cause were judged . A Fencer will fight but faintly if he should take no mony before his prize were plaid & the Players on their Publike stage would act very poorly if their audience did not pay at their first comming in . The greedy haling and pulling of other mens goods , or insatiate appetite to feed , ingurgitate , guzzle and swill , are apparant markes or tokens of Intemperance ; who then more Temperate then a Bawd ? for * shee is so full of modestie that she lives onely vpon what people doe give her : Men doe voluntarily bring her revenues to her , shee kindly takes no more then shee can get , nor receives any thing but what is brought her , and as the Taylor steales not at all , because men do frely ( and vnconstrained ) deliver their goods to him ; even so , the Bawd cannot be taxed with depriving any man of more then he idley parts withall . Wise men have said , that vertue hath no great praise where there is no allurement or temptation to vice , and therefore have accounted it but small mastery for a Iudge to be uncorrupt where there are no bribes stirring , for a poore Clowne to bee humble that hath neither money nor Cloathes to bee proud of ; for a Drunkard to bee sober where is no drinke but faire water ; for a notorious thiefe to refraine from filching , where there is not any thing to steale ; or for one to live chast in a Monasterie or Nunnery : But here is the eminency of abstinence , and the true praise of vertue , for a man to fast at a delicious feast ; to be deere from bribes or gentle rewards , where oppressions , extortions , strifes and contentions doe continually grow and multiply : To be sober and thirsty where wines and strong drinkes are plenty in variety ; to be true and trustie amongst inestimable Iewels , vncountable Treasure , or untold Gold. These are superarogating vertues , which though many boast of , yet few attaine to : now the Bawd lives in the store-house of libidinous confraternity , in the shop of Venery , in the Garden of lacivious pleasure , in the Ever-growing and Flourishing field of vanity ; amongst those that practise the excesse of Luxury , none so neere within ken of wantonnesse and dalliance ; shee admits into her house men flourishing in yeeres , hot in their desires , and willing in performance , yet ( for ought I know ) * a Bawd was never accused for cōmitting fornication in her owne person , ( which is a rare marke of abstinence ) for who can produce out of any record , that a Bawd was ever carted for playing the Whore ? And this is her comfort when she is carted , that shee rides when all her followers goe on foot , that every Dunghill payes her homage , and every Taverne looking-glasse powres bountifull reflection vpon her , the streets and windowes are full of spectators of her pompe . Shouts , acclamations and ringing on well tuned Banbury kettle-drums , and barbarous Basins , proclaime and sound forth her triumphant progresse , whilest shee rides embrodered all over like a Lady of the soyle , conducted in state out of the Easterne suburbs , to set vp her trade fresh and new in the West . As concerning Religion or matters of * Conscience , shee is a creature that will never runne mad with beating her braines in any point of such high quality . For whereas it is a speech or proverbe , to say , that an extortioner , vsurer , or corrupted Magistrate hath a Large Conscience , so on the other part , it is a saying , that such a man or woman hath no Conscience : now betweene these extremes of large and none , the Bawd doth observe the mediocrity or meane : for to say that shee hath a large catholike or universall Conscience , to entertaine all comers , or all that would come to her , is false , for her conscience is bounded , caged , and imprisoned , & limited in any man purse or pocket , of what estate , condition or Religion soever . On the contrary , to say that shee hath no Conscience at all , it were to doe her an open injury , for she doth extend her entertainement , to as many as please to please her , and her charity doth alwayes stretch as farre as any mans money will reach : And to speake the truth , shee hath great reason on her side ; for if a man let his Horse to hire , or Asse to marker , hee will looke to be paid for the travell or paines of his Beast ; and shall a Bawd let her Soule to the Devill for nothing ? A Knight of the Poast will not hazzard damnation ( and his eares to the Pillory to boote ) but ( if hee be wise ) hee will be well paid for his labour . Will any great man oppresse and undoe a whole Country , and ( with the losse of the Kingdome of Heaven ) purchase an accursed portion of Earth , but that hee will have terrestriall Angels minister to him here , making no account of the celestiall hereafter ? And shall the Conscience of a Bawd be Pinfolded so straitly , that her Soule shall be of losse esteeme than a Hackney man makes of his Horse or Asse ? or a swearing and forswearing Rogue doth of his eares ? no , no my Masters , shee is wiser than so , shee thinkes it is a long journey to Hell , and therefore she doth thristily provide to save charges , that other men shall pay for her passage or Coach-hire : shee will not travell so farre upon her owne cost shee is so well beloved , that every one of her customers ( will or must ) give her something toward the reckoning , she hath more policie in her than to be damn'd for nothing ; and she scornes to usurpe a place in Hell without just title or desert . As for her Religion , it is of the same piece as her Conscience is , there went but a paire of sheeres betweene ; with the Papist shee will be Ceremonious for the * Crosse , with the Puritane , shee will be precise , casting her eyes up , when her thoughts are downe , and accept the * Pyle ; shee hath so brought up her schollers , that the name of God is too often in their mouthes , for they will sweare either with or without occasion ; and as concerning maters of truth , shee hath brought them up so , that they will lye with any man. Most of them are of the sect of the Family of Love , they differ onely in this , the Familists doe hold opinion , that onely when the husband sleeps , that the wife may take as much liberty as a Cat , to play , &c. but the Bawd doth allow a larger toleration , and admits either man or woman to have accesse , and use their exercise both sleeping and waking . Shee is indeed addicted to any Religion , or all , or none , no further than her ease and profit doth incite her , for she knowes that charity is a good huswife , and will begin her owne work at home first : In which respect a Bawd holds a high point of Doctrine , to love her selfe better then she doth all the world besides : and in this she differs much from a Romane Catholike , that she builds not vpon her Workes , or hath any hope to be saved by her merits . And should persecution come , she will be no Martyr , she will neither hang for one religion , or burne for another , shee knowes that she came a raw creature into the world , and her resolution is , that neither religion or conscience shall send her roasted out of it . And thus I would have the Reader to consider ; that the paines that J have taken in this description of a Bawd , is more then I would willingly doe for the honestest woman that dwels betweene Smithfield-barres and Clerkenwell , and I know that there is not any of the trade so ingratefull , but that if my selfe or any friend of mine have occasion to vse them , they will doe their best for me , and goe as neere as they can to take our money . Neither have I discoursed of any vpstart new fangled bable or toy , but of an ancient solid , reall , and lasting thing , for when all trades are trade-falne and broken , a Bawd may set up with little worth , or a thing of naught , and many times her lucke is so fortunate , that she will * extract out of sinne and wickednesse , good money , good cloathes , good meat , and almost good any thing , but good conscience : but that is but a poore beggerly vertue , which her contrary nature cannot agree withall , for shee knowes by old experience that it hath vndone many , and that they are accounted none of the wisest , that make any account or reckoning of it . I am sorry that I have not dedicated this Booke to some great Patron or Patronesse : but the world is so hard to please , that I thinke it an easier matter to displease all , then every way fully to please one ; for I did lately write a small Pamphlet in the praise of cleane Linnen , which I did dedicate to a neat , spruce , prime , principall and superexellent Landresse , and shee in stead of protecting my labours , or sheltring my good and painfull study , doth not onely expresse her liberality in giving me nothing , but also shee depraves and deprives me of that small tallent and portion of wit and Poetry which nature hath given or lent me ; most untruely affirming and reporting , that that Pamphlet was the invention of a grave and learned friend of mine , ( whose imployments are so urgent and eminent , and whose capacitie is so mature and approved ) that not one line , word , sillable , or letter is in that poore toy , but it is so farre unlike a wiseman , that they all , and every one , doe most truely and obediently call , Iohn Taylor , Father . But belike she hath learned some frugall quallities , of some who are more honoured and worshiped , then honorable or worshipfull , who take it for a point of thrifty wisdom to discomend wher they doe not meane to reward . It is a kind of policy , under which many better labours then mine have suffred persecution and Martyrdome ; and belike my unkind Patronesse is ambitious to follow the example of her betters . But I would have her to know , that if shee had but gratefully accepted my Booke of Cleane Linnen , that then I would have cudgeld and canvasde my Muse , I would have rowz'd my spirits , belabour'd my Invention , beaten my braines , thump'd , bumbasted , strapadoed , lambski'nd , and clapperclaw'd my Wits , to have mounted her praise one and thirtie yards ( London measure ) beyond the Moone . But ingratiude is the poyson of industry , & detraction is the destruction of good endevours , for the which sinnes of hers , I will allot her no other punishment but this , that shee shall remaine as shee was and is , the true wife to an honest Cobler , A cleanly , trusty , chast , loving and well-beloved Landresse ; whom ( when the fates and destinies shall deprive Chancery-Lane of ) then many polluted and slovenly Linnen soylers shall lament in soule bands , blacke cuffes , and mourning shirts . a As Sloth and idlenesse are vices discommended in all Lawes and Common-wealths , being enormites of that high nature and vile condition that they have ruined whole Kingdomes , Cities , families , and many particular persons ; so on the contrary , diligence , industry and carefull vigilancy , are qualities that doe not onely erect States and Commonwealths , but they doe also conserve and preserve whomsoever shall put them in use and practice : who then is more vigilant or industrious then a diligent Bawd , shee is none of the seven Sleepers , nay she carefully watcheth whilst others sleepe , shee takes paines for the pleasure of many , shee is the true Embleme or Image of security , her eyes like carefull & trusty scouts or spies doe foresee & prevent the danger of Mr Busiman the Constable with his ragged , rusty regiment . Moreover , shee is not like a ship bound for Groneland , which must saile but in summer , or a pot of ale wth a roast , which is onely in winter : no let the winde blow where it will , her care is such , that it brings her prize & purchase all seasons , her b pinkes are fraughted , her Pinnaces are man'd , her friggors are rig'd ( from the beakhead to the Poope ) and if any of her vessels be boorded by Pyrats , and shot betwixt wind & water , they are so furnished with engines , that they le send them packing with a pox , or else blow them quite up with a Devils name : there is not a poynt in the compasse but the skilfull c Bawd observes , if the wind be North or North-east , she expects profits out of the Low-countries , from Germany , Denmarke , Norway , and sometimes a prize from Scotland ; if at South or S. west , then her hopes are from France ; but Spaine & Italy doe seldome or never faile her ; And let it blow high or low , the Englishman is neere on all occasions . Shee hath not bin much accused for receiving uncustomed goods , for to speak the truth , she will harbour no ventred commodity in her warehouse ; & if the Informer or Constable doe light upon one of her conceal'd dryfats , Punchions , fardils or ( naughtie ) packs , and having seiz'd it by his office , & honestly laid it up safe in the storehouse of Bridewel , yet the Bawd wil so cōpound in the busines , that for a smal toy , and a little sufferance , she 'l redeeme the Commodity & have her ware again in her owne hands . d A Bawd is no deceiver of her customers , for what she promiseth shee will performe , as for example , If shee take a fee to helpe a man to a Whore shee will not cheat him and bring him an honest woman ; a bargaines a bargaine , and shee will not saile you in a tittle : shee plainly and openly shewes her selfe what shee is , shee doth not dissemble or hide her function from her clyents , under the veile of hypocrysie , and for her creatures that live under her , e shee hath taught them their Art whereby they may live another day , when shee is dead and rotten , and as they have their maintenance by her instruction , & under her protection , so it is fit that in requitall of her paines , she should pick a revenue out of their commings in ; shee hath good presidents out of famous Authors for it : an old brave fellow tooke great paines in teaching of his Cuthorse , and the beast was so thankfull for it , that hee got his masters provender , and his owne both , many yeeres after . If a man teach an Ape to doe trickes , the honest Ape will maintaine him for it ; I have seene a Hare get her master and dames living , with playing on a Tabor . The very Baboones are grave examples in this kind , Tumblers boyes , ( and sometimes their wives ) doe teach us this duty ; and the ignorant Puppets doe allow their maker and masters , meat , drinke , and cloath . For mine owne part , If I teach my man to row , I will have for my paines the greatest part of the profit . If I dig or plow and cast my Seed into the ground , I will expect the benefit of the Crop : If I plant or grasse , I should thinke I had but hard measure , if I should not feed vpon the fruit of my labour : By this consequence it is reason that a Bawd should reape where she hath sowne , and eate , and live vpon such fruit as shee hath planted . To close up all , the Summe of all is this , I 'le end my Booke as Ovid ended his . So long as on the Poles the spangled firmament shall whirle , So long as Procreation shall beget a Boy or Girle , So long as winter shall be cold , or Summer shall be hot , So long as poverty and spight shall be true Vertues lot , When Phoebus in the West shall rise and in the East shall set , When children on ( their mothers ) their owne fathers shall beget ; Then shall this Booke , or Bawd lye dead , and never till that day , Shall Booke or Bawd , or Bawd or Booke , be scarse , if men will pay . Till Sun and Moone shall cease to shine , and all the World lye wast ; So long his booke , or else a Bawd , I 'me sure , so long shall last . FINIS . A Common Whore With all these graces grac'd , Shee 's very honest , beautifull and chaste . Written By IOHN TAYLOR Printed at London for Henry Gosson . 1635. Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13421-e310 * Witnesse my paper Boat. * Hen. Smith in his Treat . of Herodot . cap. 38 pag 303. * Cornelius Agrippa in his vanity of Sciences . * Idem . a Lucrece was first maried to her own brother the sonne of Pope Aleaxander the sixt , she being daughter to the said pope , and daughter in law to him by the marriage with his son . And being concubine to the said Pope , he caused her after his sonne her husbands death , to be married to three princes one after another : First to Duke Iohn Sforza . Secondly , to Lewis sonne to Alphonfus King of Arragon . Thirdly , to Alphonsus D. Est Duke of Ferara . b Her name was Constancia , she was married to a Duke named Sforza , but the Pope her father poysoned her , because he could not lawfully enioy her . Also for the like be poysoned his sister . b A flattering hireling Preacher , is a Bawd to the vices of his surly Patron , and an hypocriticall conniver at the crying sinnes of his Audience . * The Devill is the chiefe Bawd. * A Glister of Holy water I thinke , would better drive out the Devill . * Emperours have beene Bawdes . * A King of Castile , or Spaine , Bawd to his owne wife . * No toleration . * A necessary male for a man to trusse up his trinkets is . a A Bawd a Gramarian . b An Astronomer . c A Logician . d Mounthink , Rarearcher , or Landloper . e Arithmatick . a Geometry . b Musicke . c Poetry . a Painting . b Physicke and Chirurgery . c Palmestry and Fortune-telling . d Mercer a Grocer . c Fish-mongers and Fishermen . d Goldsmith . * All vices are in high account and great respect , but onely Bawds occupation : yet many men have an itching desire in private , to that which he will condemne in publike . * The patience of a Bawd. a The necessity of a Bavvd . b The equity of a Bawd. c The charity of a Bawd. d The Philosophy of a Bawd. * The civility of a Bawd. * The temperance of a Bawd. * The chastity of a Bawd. * The conscience and religion of a Bawd. * Of mens money . * Crosse and Pyle . * A Bawd is an excellent Chimmist . a The industry and vigilancy of a Bawd. b Or Punckes . c A Bawd a skilfull Navigaton . d The plaine dealing of a Bawd e A Bawd hath common sence and reason to take her part or share in her profession . 
A13422	----	The booke of martyrs· VVherein are set downe the names of such martyrs as suffered persecution, and laid downe theire lives for witnesse-bearing unto the Gospell of Christ Jesus; drawne downe from the primitive Church, to these later times, especially respecting such as have suffered in this land under the tyranny of Antichrist, in opposition to popish errours. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1639 Approx. 28 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 20 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13422 STC 23733 ESTC S118187 99853396 99853396 18779 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13422) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18779) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1260:2) The booke of martyrs· VVherein are set downe the names of such martyrs as suffered persecution, and laid downe theire lives for witnesse-bearing unto the Gospell of Christ Jesus; drawne downe from the primitive Church, to these later times, especially respecting such as have suffered in this land under the tyranny of Antichrist, in opposition to popish errours. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [22] p. : ill. (woodcut) By I[ohn] B[eale], London : 1639. By John Taylor. In verse. Printer's name from STC. Signatures: A B⁴ (-B4). Running title reads: A catalogue of martyrs. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. A3r stained; ill. not filmed. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Martyrs -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-06 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE BOOKE OF MARTYRS VVherein are set downe the names of such Martyrs as suffered persecution , and laid downe theire lives for witnesse-bearing unto the Gospell of CHRIST JESUS ; drawne downe from the Primitive Church , to these later times , especially respecting such as have suffered in this Land under the tyranny of Antichrist , in opposition to Popish Errours . LONDON , Printed by I. B. 1639. A Briefe CATALOGVE of such Martyrs as suffered persecution , and laid downe their lives for witnesse-bearing unto the Gospel of Christ Iesus ; drawne downe from the Primitive Church , to these later times , especially respecting such as have suffered in this Land under the tyranny of Antichrist in opposition to Popish Errors . I Sing their deaths who dying made death yeeld , By Scriptures sword , & faiths vnbatterd shield , Whom Satan , men , or monsters could not tame , Nor force them to deny their Saviours Name . Evangelists , that did the Gospel write , Apostles and brave Martyrs , that did fight Gainst death and hell , and all the power of sin , And boldly di'd eternall life to win . Iohn Baptist by King Herod lost his head , Who to the world repentance published , Our blest Redeemer in his love did follow , And conquered death mans sinful soule to hallow , He was the death of death , and he did quell The sting and power of Satan , sin , and hell , And vnder his great standard , valiantly , A number numberlesse have dar'd to dye . Through bondage , famine , slavery , sword and fire Through all divised torments they aspire Victoriously to gaine th'imortall Crowne , Of never ending honour and renowne . Saint Steven was the third that lost his breath , And ( for his Masters sake ) was ston'd to death : And after him in Scripture may be read , Th' Apostle Iames was brain'd and butchered . Saint Marke th'Evangelist in fire did burne , And Bartholmew was flead , yet would not turnes Saint Andrew like a valiant champion di'd , And ( willing ) on a crosse was crucifi'd Mathias , Philip , Peter , and Saint Paul , Ston'd , crucifi'd , beheaded , Martyrs all . Th' Apostles of their lives , no reckoning make , And think them wel spent for their Saviors sake The Tyrant Emperours , in number ten , ( Most cruell , barbarous , and inhumane men ) More Christians by their bloody meanes did slay Then for a yeere five thousand to each day . And many Romish Bishops in those daies , Were Martyr'd to their high Creators prayse ; And though each day so many thousands bleed , Yet doubly more and more they daily breed . As Camomile growes better being trod , So death and tortures drawes more unto God. Or as the Vine that 's cut and prun'd beares more In one yeere , than it did in three before : This bloody persecution did out-weare After Christs death the first 300. yeares : Thus did the Primitive Church first indure , Being Catholike , Apostolike , and pure : Then over all the world was truely knowne , That Romish Bishops claimed but their owne In their owne Dioces to be chiefe Pastor . And not to be the worlds great Lord and Master . And now our Britains glory will I sing , From Lucius raigne , the worlds first Christian King Vnto these daies of happy peacefull state , A Catalogue of Martyrs I 'll relate : First Vrsulae , and eleven thousand with her , All Virgins , for Christs faith did die together . Then Hengist with the Saxons hither came , Who many kill'd with sword and furious flame . Besides eleven hundred Monkes were kill'd . At Bangor Abby all their bloods were spill'd . And when the Saxons race to end was run , The Danes came in ; and all the Kingdome won . Before whose swords did many thousands fall , Which on the name of Iesus Christ did call . Then William Conqueror with a multitude . Vnto the Normans yoake this Land subdu'd , The Pope then caus'd all Priests to leave their wives , To lead foule Sodomitick single lives . Then afterward in second Henries raigne , Was sawcie Saint Thomas Becket slaine ; A Popish Saint and Martyr made , because He di'd a traytor to his Soveraignes Lawes . King Henry and King Richard dead and gone , Their brother Iohn ( by right ) ascends the throne , Whom all his life the Pope of Rome did vex , And with oppressions all the Realme perplex ; With candle , booke , and bell , he curst and blest , And Bulls and Legates did the King molest ; Vntill such time he on his knees fell downe , And to the Pope surrendred up his Crowne . At last , because he durst the Pope withstand , He di'd impoysoned by a Friers hand . When thus by treason they had kil'd King Iohn , Then the third Henry Englands Crowne put on : Then England bought the Romish doctrine deare , It cost her threescore thousand marks a yeare . For Agnus Dei , pardons , Peter pence , For which the Pope had all this coine from hence : King Henry died , then Edward tooke the sway , His sonne and grandchilde , England did obey , The first of them call'd Long shankes , conquests won , Lost by Carnarvan his unhappy son , Who by his Queene was in a dungeon cast , Till ( being murder'd ) sadly breath'd his last . Edward the third , a brave victorious King , Did Frenchmens pride into subjection bring . Richard the second next to Raigne began , Who lost more then his royall Grandsire wan . Then 'gan Iohn Wiekliffe boldly to begin To preach 'gainst Antichrist , that man of sin ; Who many troubles stoutly did abide , Yet ( spight the Pope ) he naturally di'd ; And being dead , from out his grave was turn'd , And had his martyr'd bones to ashes burn'd ; Which ashes they did cast into a brooke , Because he had the Romish faith forsooke . Yet whilst the second Richard here surviv'd , No Martyrs were by fire of life depriv'd . Henry the fourth was in the Throne invested , In whose raigne many were too much molested . And William Sautre first his life did give Through flames of fire , who now in heav'n doth live . The next Iohn Badby in the furious flame , And William Thorp , but wan immortall fame . Then the fifth Henry , a victorious Prince , The Realme of France did conquer and convince . The good Lord Cobham then ( Oldcastle nam'd ) By Popish Priests an Hereticke was proclaim'd , Was hang'd and burn'd by the unlawfull doome , Of Satans servants , slaves to hell and Rome . And leaving some unnam'd , Iohn Browne Esquire , Iohn Beverly a Preacher di'd in fire . Besides a number from the Lollards tower , Racks , tortures , halters , and the flame devoure . Iohn Hus a glorious Martyr of the Lord , Was in Bohemia burned for Gods Word . And reverend Ierom did to Constance come , From Prage , and stoutly sufferd martyrdome . In Smithfield one Iohn Claidon sufferd death , And with him Richard Turming lost his breath , At this time sixteene godly folkes in Kent , The Antichristian vassalls did torment . Then death cut off the fifth King Henries raigne , The Crowne the sixth King Henry did obtaine . And William Taylor a true zealous Priest , Did passe through fire unto his Saviour Christ. Good Richard Hoveden , with him William White , Each unto God ( through fire ) did yeeld his sprite , Duke Humphrey ( though no Martyr ) kild in 's bed , And Richard Wych a Priest was burned dead . Then Saint-like good King Henry was depos'd , By the fourth Edward in the Tower inclos'd : Then Edward fled , and Henry once againe , By Warwicks power the Kingdome did obtaine . Thus did the various state of humane things , Make Kings of Captive , and of Captives Kings : Vntill at last King Edward turned backe , Brought Henries royalty to finall wracke : In whose raigne Iohn Goose ( as the story saith ) Was the first Martyr , burned for Christs Faith. King Henry in the Tower was stab'd to death , And Edward yeeldeth up his life and breath , His sonne young Edward , of that name the fift , Whom the third Richard from his life did lift . Who by foule murders , blood , and tyranny , Vsurp'd the throne of Englands Monarchy ; Till valiant Henry of that name the seven , Kill'd him , and made uneven England even : Then first Ioan Broughton , & a man call'd Babrane By Faith ( thorow fire ) went to old father Abram . An old man was in Swithfield burn'd , because Hee did resist against the Roman Lawes . One Ierom hang'd and burned on the Gallowes , In Florence , with two other of his fellowes : And William Tilsworth , Thomas Bernard , and Iames Morton , cause they did the Pope withstand Burned all , and Father Rogers , and old Reine , Did die by fire , a better life to gaine . One Thomas Novice , and one Thomas Chase , Di'd constant Martyrs by the heavenly grace . A woman and a man call'd Laurence Guest , By death gain'd everlasting life and rest : Besides a number past mens reckoning up , For Iesus sake dranke of afflictions cup. Some carried faggots through a world of mocke Some rackt , some pin'd , some fetred in the stocks : Some naked strip'd and scourged with a lash , For their rejecting of the Romish trash . Some branded in the cheeke did alwaies beare The badge and marke of their Redeemer deare . Thus the insulting tyrannizing Pope , With cursings , fagot , fire , and sword and rope . Did force the soules , and consciences of men , To run despairing to damnations den . And they that valiantly his power withstood , Did seale their resolution with their blood . Before his triple , treble , trouble Crowne , ( In adoration ) Emperours must fall downe , Were they as high as any Caesar borne , To kisse his feet they must not hold it scorne . Henry the sixth the Emperour did fall downe , Whom with his feet Pope Celestine did crowne . Henry the fourth his Empresse and young son , All three to Rome did barefoote goe and run : And three daies so , these three did all attend His holinesse , a godlesse eare to lend , Which afterward was granted on condition , That he should give his crowne up in submission , Pandulphus the Popes Legat , with a frowne , Did make King Iohn of England yeeld his crown . King Henry of that name the second , hee Kneeld downe , and kist the Romish Legats knee . The Emperour when Pope Adrian was to ride , Did hold his stirrop on the meere wrong side , For which his Holinesse in angry sort , Disdainfully did checke the Emp'rour for 't . When as the Pope doth ride in Cope of gold , Kings ( like to foot-men ) must his bridle hold : In pomp he must be borne upon mens shoulders , With glorious shew , amazing the beholders . Whilst Kings and Princes must before him goe , To usher him in his vaine-glorious showe : This being true , as no man can deny , Those that will not be blind may plainly spy , That their insulting proud commanding Priest , Is absolute and onely Anti-Christ ; H'exalts himselfe 'bove all that 's called God , Vpon the Emperours necke he proudly trod : He is th'abomination ( void of grace ) That mounts himselfe into the holy place : He makes the Princes of the earth drinke up , And quaffe the poyson of the cursed cup , Who being drunken with the dregs of sin , They have his sworne and forsworne vassals bin , Bewitched with his soule inchanting charmes , Gainst one another they have rose in Armes ; By forraigne and domesticke bloody broiles , Whilst he hath fild his coffers with their spoiles : His double dealing too too plaine appeares , In setting Christian Princes by the eares , Whilst he into his avaritious hands , Hath seiz'd their persons , moveables , and lands : And as the Christian kings thēselves made weak , The Turke into their Kingdomes 'gan to break ; And thus the Turk and Pope ioin'd with the devil , Have beene the authors of all Christian evil . The second BOOKE . VVHen the 7th Henry in his grave was laid , And the 8th Henry Englands Scepter swaid , Romes bloody persecution raged more In England , than in ten Kings raignes before : And therefore Reader , in this little Booke , For every Martyrs name thou must not looke : But men of chiefest note , respect and fame , That died in England , onely those I name . And first the Papists tyranny began , In murthering Richard Hun , a zealous man , For being kept in prison by their power , They closely hang'd him in the Lollards Tower. And then they all in generall decreed , Reporting Hun himselfe had done the deed . And sixteene daies just after this was done , They burn'd the foresaid corps of Richard Hun. Then to the number of full thirty five , The furious flames did all of life deprive ; In severall places of this wofull Land , Because they did the Pope of Rome withstand . At which time Thomas Bilney did beginne , To preach and teach 'gainst Antichristian sinne ; Where in Saint Georges Church in Ipswich town The Papists from the Pulpit pluckt him downe And as in dolefull prison he did lie , He put his finger into the flames to trie ; He prov'd , & God did give him strength to beare His death , to live with his Redeemer deare . The next of note was one Iohn Frub , a man Of learning great , a Martyrs fame he wan . Then learned Luther , and grave Zwinglius , With Calvin , Beza , Oecolampadius , All glorious , gracious reverend lamps of light , Were instruments to clear bleard Englands sight . In Flanders William Tindall for Gods Word , Was sacrific'd to glorifie the Lord. Iohn Lambert valiantly his death did take , And burn'd in Smithfield for his Saviours sake . About this time , that honourable man , Lord Cromwell , life , and timelesse death began ; He like an earth-quake made the Abbies fall . The Fryeries and the Nunneries all . This famous noble , worthy Essex Earle , This Iem , this Iewell , this most Orient Pearle , Was for his truth from all he had discarded . And with his heads losse , all his Faith rewarded , The next of worthy note by fire that dide , Was good * Anne Ayscough , who did strong abide , Racks , torturs , & the cruel raging flame , To magnifie her high Creators name . Then'gan the kings eies to be opened quite Inlightned by the everlasting light . He banisht superstitious idle fables , And packt the Papists hence with all their bables . Then Bonner , Gardner , brethren both in evill , Factors and actors , blood-hounds for the Devill , Their burning fame to infamy soone faded , They godlesse , gracelesse , were disgrac'd , degraded . The King then having this good worke begun , He died , and left the Kingdome to his son . Then raign'd young Edward , that sweete princely child . By whom all Popery was cleane exil'd . But he too good to live 'mongst wicked men , Th' Almighty tooke him hence to heaven agen : No sooner Edward was laid in his Tombe , But England was the slaughter-house of Rome . Gardner and Bonner were from prison turn'd , Aud whom they pleas'd were either sav'd or burn'd , Queene Mary imitating lezabel , Advanc'd againe the Ministers of hell : Then tyranny began to tyrannize , Tortures and torments then they did devise ; Then Master Rogers with a faith most fervent , Was burn'd , and di'd ( in Smithfield ) Gods true servant . Next unto him did Laeurence Sanders die , By fire ( for Iesus sake ) at Covenerie ; He did imbrace , and kindly kisse the stake , To gaine heav'ns glory , did the world forsake . Good Bishop Hooper was at Gloster burn'd , Cause he against the Romish doctrine spurn'd ; And Doctor Tayler a true zealous man , At Hadley burned , eternall glory wan . Then Bishop Farrer next his life did spend In fire , to gaine the life shall never end . Next William Flower , first did lose his hand , Then burn'd , because he did the Pope withstand In Essex , Thomas Hawkes , with faith victorious Did die with fire to gaine a life most glorious . Master John Bradford ( for his Saviours sake ) In Smithfield burn'd , a godly end did make . Two reverend Bishops , Father Latimer , And Ridley , each of them a heavenly star , Liv'd in Gods feare , and in his favour di'd ; At Oxford burn'd , and now are glorifi'd . John Philpot gladly did the fire imbrace , And died , and lives in his Redeemers grace . Then that grave Father , and religious man , Arch-bishop Cranmers troubles hot began , His pomp , his state , his glory , and his pride , Was to know Iesus , and him crucifide : He liv'd a godly Preacher of Gods Word , And dy'd a glorious Martyr of the Lord. Iohn Careles in close prison carefully , Did change his cares for joyes eternally . But this small volume cannot well containe , One quarter of the Saints in England slane . In Henries raigne and Maries , ( cruell Queene ) Eight thousand people there hath slaughterd bin Some by the sword , some hang'd , some burnt in fire Some starv'd to death in prison all expire : Twelve thousand and seven hundred more beside Much persecution trouble did abide , Some rackt , some whipt , some tortur'd , some in stocks , Some doing pennance with a world of mocks ; Some with an Iron in the faces burn'd , Some out of all their goods to beggry turn'd . Some bar-foot , baring faggots on their shoulders Were made a wondring stocke to the beholders : All this and more , much more they did endure , Because they would not yeeld to live impure : But now to speake the law lesse cause wherefore , And why these people troubled were so sore , Because they would not make their plaints and mones To senslesse images , dead stocks & stones , Because they said the sacramentall bread , Is not the Lord which shall judge quick & dead . Because they not beleev'd a Purgatory , And held the Popes decrees an Idle story . Because they would not creepe unto the crosse , And change Gods sacred Word for human drosse Because they held the Masse an Idoll soule . At once which pickt the purse and damn'd the soule Because they knew the Pope and all his crue , Hell-hounds whom heaven ( in rage ) on earth did spue . And in a word , they thus were over-trod , Because they truly serv'd the living God. This was the maine and onely cause of all , Because they would not offer unto Baal . The Popes outragious aud contagious actor , Was Bishop Benner , hells most truly factor : Romes hang-man , & the firebrand of this Realme , That with a flood of blood did overwhelme , The true beleevers of Gods holy truth , He butchered , not regarding age or youth . With him was joyn'd a man almost as il , Who tooke delight Gods servants blood to spil ; Call'd Steven Gardner , Englands Chanceller , And Bishop of the See of Winchester : These two did strive each other to excell , Who should doe greatest service unto hell ; Vntill at last God heard his servants cry , And each of them did die immediatly . Thus when Iehovah heard the just complaints , Of his beloved , poore , afflicted Saints ; Then this too cruell Pope defending Queen , ( The bloodiest Princesse that this land hath seen ) She did decease , and persecution ceast , And tired wofull England purchast rest . Queene Mary being dead , her welcome death Reviv'd our joyes in blest Elizabeth , Innumerable were her woes and cares , Abundant were the subtill wyles and snares , Which Satan and his Ministers oft laid , To rave the life of that most harmelesse maid . She was accus'd , abus'd , revil'd , miscal'd ; She was from prison unto prison hal'd : Long in the Tower she was close prisoner shut , Her loving servants all away were put : From thence to Windsor , thence to Woodstock sent , Closely mewd up from all the worlds content : But God whose mercies ever did defend her , Did in her greatest sorrowes comfort send her . He did behold her from his Throne most high , And kept her as the apple of his eye , Let Hell and Hell-hounds still attempt to spill , Yet the Almighty guards his servants still . And he at last did ease her sorrowes mone , And rais'd her to her lawfull awfull throne ; This royall Debora , this princely Dame , VVhole life made all the world admire the same . As Iudith in Bethulia's same was spread , For cutting off great Holophernes head : So our Eliza stoutly did beginne , Vntopping and beheading Romish sinne , Shee purg'd the Land of Papistry agen , She liv'd belov'd of God , admir'd of men : She made the Antichristian Kingdome quake , She made the mighty power of Spaine to shake : As farre as Sunne or Moone disperst their raies , So far and further went her matchlesse praise . She was at home , abroad , in every part , Load-starre and Load-stone to each eye and heart Supported onely by Gods powerfull hand , She foure and forty yeeres did rule this Land , And when she left this royall princely seat , She chang'd earths greatnes to be heavenly great . Thus did this westerne worlds great wonder die , She fell from height to be advanc'd more hie . Terrestriall Kings and Kingdomes all must fade . Then blest is she that is immortall made . Her death fill'd wofull England full of feares , The Papists long'd for change with itching eares . For her decease was all their onely hope , To raise againe the doctrine of the Pope . But he whose power is all omnipotent , Did their unhappy hopelesse hopes prevent . Succession lawfully did leave the Crowne , Vnto a prince whose vertue and renowne , And learning doth out-strip all Kings as far , As doth the Sunne obscure a little star . VVhat man ( that is but man ) could baffle more Romes seven headen purple whore , How wisely hath he Bellarmine confuted , And how divinely hath he oft disputed . How zealously he doth Gods faith defend , How often on Gods word he doth attend . How clement , pious , and how gracious good , Is he , as fits the greatnesse of his blood . VVert not for him , how would the Muses doe ? He is their patterne , and their patron too . He is th'Appollo , from whose radiant beames , The Quintessence of Poetry out-streames . And from the splendor of his piercing raies , A world of worthy Writers wins the baies . Yet all the worthy vertues so transparent , And so well knowne in him , to be inherent , Cannot perswade Papists leave their strife , With cursed treasons to attempt his life : For when their disputations help'd them not , They would dispute in a damn'd powder-plot . In which the Romish went beyond the Divell , For hell could not invent a plot so evill . But he that plac'd him on his royall throne , ( The God of Iacobs , Iudahs holy one ) That God ( for Iesus sake ) I doe beseech , ( With humble heart , and with unfaigned speech ) That he and his , may Britaines Scepter sway ; Till time , the world , and all things passe away . FINIS Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13422-e60 * Daughter of Sir 〈◊〉 Ayscough , Knight 
A13423	----	A brave memorable and dangerous sea-fight, foughten neere the road of Tittawan in Barbary where the George and Elizabeth (a ship of London) under the command of Mr. Edmond Ellison, having but 19. peeces of ordnance, was encompass'd and encountred by nine great Turkish pyrat ships, or men of war, they being in number of men at the least 60. to one; and their ordnance more than ten to one against the English, yet (by Gods assistance) they were encouraged to a resolute fight, and obtained a glorious victory over their miscreant enemies, and a happy returne with men, ship, and goods to London. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1636 Approx. 30 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 15 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13423 STC 23735 ESTC S111380 99846741 99846741 11728 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13423) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 11728) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:8) A brave memorable and dangerous sea-fight, foughten neere the road of Tittawan in Barbary where the George and Elizabeth (a ship of London) under the command of Mr. Edmond Ellison, having but 19. peeces of ordnance, was encompass'd and encountred by nine great Turkish pyrat ships, or men of war, they being in number of men at the least 60. to one; and their ordnance more than ten to one against the English, yet (by Gods assistance) they were encouraged to a resolute fight, and obtained a glorious victory over their miscreant enemies, and a happy returne with men, ship, and goods to London. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [6], 20, [2] p. : ill. (woodcuts) Printed [by Nicholas Okes?] for Henry Gosson; and are to be sold at his shop on London-Bridge, London : 1636. Dedication signed: John Taylor. In verse. Printer's name conjectured by STC. With a woodcut of a ship on A1v and D2v. Running title reads: A famous sea-fight. Reproduction of a photostat of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng George and Elizabeth (Ship) -- Early works to 1800. Naval battles -- Mediterranean Sea -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A Brave MEMORABLE AND DANGEROVS SEA-FIGHT , foughten neere the Road of Tittawan in Barbary , where the George and Elizabeth ( a Ship of London ) under the Command of M r. Edmond E●●ison , having but 19. peeces of Ordnance , was encompass'd and encountred by nine great Turkish Pyrat ships , or men of War , they being in number of men at the least 60. to one ; and their Ordnance more than ten to one against the English , yet ( by Gods assistance ) they were encouraged to a resolute fight , and obtained a glorious victory over their miscreant enemies , and a happy returne with men , ship , and goods to London . LONDON : Printed for Henry Gosson ; and are to be sold at his shop on London Bridge . 1636. TO THE LOYALL AND Generous minded for his Prince and Countries service , the hopefull M r. EDMOND ELLISON , the Master and Commander in the ship and fight hereafter related . SIR , as Childhood brings us to manhood , manhood to old age , and old age to death , so ( by consequence ) a good life begets fame , which though Time doe seeme to devoure , yet when time is ended , an honest fame shall be invested with Eternitie . For as all the valiant men cannot boast of high birth and great houses , so all dejected and cowardly spirited mungrils are not borne in meane Tenements and poore Cottages : for my part ( being a meere stranger unto you ) I dare not to delineate your pedigree , having no skill in honourable Heraldry ; yet hearing of the worthy forwardnesse , and fortunate endevours of yours , I could not refraine to set my pen to paper to the publishing of your late imminent dangers and most happy deliverance ; which by the Almighties blessings , and your valorous fight , and directions , and the worthy and remarkable courage of your few men , for the glory of God and the honour of our Country , you have accomplished . Sir , I did not write this onely for your sake , but for the example of others , that they in the reading of it may in the first place magnifie his great name , who is the giver of all victorie ; and secondly to be truly constant in all extremities , by your worthy imitation : for as charitie commands us to forget mens faults , so it is shame and pittie that vertue and extraordinarie good Actions should be buried in the gulph of oblivion . I have made bold to make relation of what you know to be true in action ; you doe know best if I have erred , which I hope I have not : I know that you are the sonne of a most worthy , approved , and serviceable Sea-man , whose old and good improvements you doe most filially follow . To close up my dedication , I doe recommend my selfe and my labours to your love , you to your fathers , and both of you to the Almightie , craving pardon for my boldnesse , and remaining yours . In any service befitting your worth to be commanded , JOHN TAYLOR . A brave memorable and dangerous Sea-fight , foughten neere the Road of Tittawan in Barbary , where the George and Elizabeth ( a Ship of London ) under the Command of M r. Edmond Ellison , having but 19. peeces of Ordnance , was encompass'd and encountred by nine great Turkish Pyrat ships or men of Warre , they being in number of men at the least 60. to one ; and their Ordnance more than ten to one against the English , yet ( by Gods assistance ) they were encouraged to a resolute fight , and obtained a glorious victorie over their miscreant enemies , and a happy returne with men , ship , and goods to London . Invocation . FIrst to begin , I 'le invocate and pray To Him that hath both heaven and earthly sway , That hee 'le direct my spirit and my quill , That Truth , and onely Truth from them distill : As falshood is mans credits greatest blot , Let not my lines with lyes the paper spot . Thus ( being arm'd with Truth and Fortitude , I send my verse amongst the multitude Of criticke censurers , whose best and worst Is to vent out their follies , or to burst . Th'yeere sixteene hundred thirty five , that 's past , Friday the 20. of November last , The ship nam'd George and Elsabeth , abode At Tittawan , at Anchor in the Road ; Our businesse and occasions at that place Caus'd us to anchor there some certaine space . Betimes w'arose , and as all Christians should , We fell to prayer , for mercies manifold Before extended , and to be extended , Imploring heavenly power , that had defended Us in all dangers ( though we oft transgresse ) Would quit our crimes and helpe us in distresse . Our prayse to God and prayers being done , Even with the mounting of the morning Sunne , Whose golden beames did guild the Oceans face , And Zephirus balmy breath the Ayre did grace , Both skves and seas seem'd calme in beauteous forme , When streight we spide an unexpected storme . Nine Warlike ships , with swelling sayles appear'd ; And towards us their course directly stear'd ; And by the reason that we did not know If they were Christians , Turks , or friend or foe , We to prevent the worst that might befall , Betooke our selves unto our tackling all : Some to the Capstane , some hold of the Cable , Some heave , some quoyle , ( it was no time to fable ) Some with Fish , Cat , and Boighroaps ( we know how ) Did bring and bend our Anchor at the bough . Both Topsailes out , the Maine and Foresaile fell , Our Spritsaile and our Mizzen were handed well ; Our Sheats , Tacks , Boleins , Braces , Tyes and Lifts , Martlines , and Halliers , ( all mann'd , all make shifts ) With Helme and Steeresman to doe each his best , T' avoyd destruction , and to purchase rest . Their Admirall , ( at least 500. tunnes ) Fenc'd with two tyre of Ordnance ( forty Gunnes ) Gave warning ( to the rest o th' cursed crew ) By shooting off a Peece , us to pursue . Nor was the Admirall himselfe inclinde To come too neere us , he was richly linde With gold and treasure , therefore he thought meet To charge the other eight ships of his Fleet To charge and chace us ; streight in little space They gave another Gunne for charge and chace . Thus neere and neerer they upon us come , Whilest we with Trumpets sound , and beaten Drum , T'wards Suttye , where we thought secure to be , But God did otherwayes for us foresee . By reason of the foulenesse of our ship , She was unapt those Rovers to outstrip ; And therefore force perforce , we all must stay , Fight , or give men , ship , goods and all away : Which upon short consideration then We did bethinke our selves that we were men , Not heathen Infidels , that Christ denide ; But those for whom our blest Redeemer dyde , For whom h'arose againe , and did ascend To bring us to those joyes that ne're shall end . And shall we give our selves away to those , That are the sonne of Gods malicious foes ? And shall we , for base feare be so un just To part with Ship and goods within our trust ? No surely , Bulke and Fraught much more did cost , Then cow'rdly to be given away or lost : Besides the slavery of our persons , and Our Ransoms begg'd from many a mizers hand , Who ( some of them ) as willing with 't doe part , As they would doe from bloud dropt from their heart , These things considered , we did hold it best , True Christians fortitude to manifest . Because they twice did shoot , and twice begun , Upon their second Gun we gave a Gun ; And so unto 't pell-mell straight wayes we went , Our shot and powder liberally we spent ; But they were much more bountifull than we , For every shot we sent , they gave us three . Then boord and boord on either side they layd us , Where we paid them , and ( as they could ) they paid us ; When ten men ( of the Turks ) at first were slaine , Which made them with all speed fall off againe And leave us , yet I something doe mistake , That Conflict more than ten did kill or shake . We being from the first two parted thus , Streight two more came , and fiercely boorded us ; Where all those villaines ( on the Ocean deepe ) Striv'd ( all we had ) to get , and we to keepe ; Where shot and shot flew free ; we gave and tooke , Till ( finding us too hot ) they us forsooke . The Ayre was fild with Drum and crying sounds Of thundring Ordnance ; And the noyse rebounds Downe from the verge of the rotundious skyes , That what with Guns , Drums , Clamors wounded crics , Confusion , horror , and the cowards feare , Grim Death himselfe began to domineere . The accursed blood ( from the base sonnes of Cain ) Gush'd , and began the greene-fac'd sea to staine , Thus six times boorded by those cruell men , We still sent some of them to Plutoes den , And in their fury they did mount our tops , Shot through our Sailes , and Masts , and cut our Roaps , Shatterd our ship , and would in shivers teare her , They had beene better they had ne're come neere her , For we were all resolv'd to fight and dye For God , Prince , Countrey , and our liberty . Their ships much rent with round and cros-bar shot , And steele in bundles ( which we spared not ) Their men hurt , and unknowne what number slaine , They all in generall the fight refraine . Their Admirall came hot within our reach , Whose shot and ours made now and then a breach , Untill at last , good fortune did affoord , VVe shot , and beat her Main-mast bye the Boord , VVhich made her leave the fight ; that lucky blow Did ease us gladly from our greatest foe . Encompast round with smouldring smoke and sire , Our enemies did finally retire . Thus ( by the power of God ) their force was foyld , Three of their ships went home torne , split and spoyld , The other six their course to Sea-ward bore , Having no minde to trouble us no more ; But as they made away ( our loves to show ) VVe gave them now and then a parting blow : For any man of judgement may conceive , VVe spent some powder at their taking leave . In this sharp conslict with those faithlesse Turkes , God shew'd his ' Mercy over all his workes . For though for one of us th 'had threescore men , And for one Gun of ours th 'had more than ten , Yet from the first to last of all the fight , VVe lost but three men which were slaine outright . And five or six men had some wounds or scarres To weare , as noble jewels of the warres ; Yet none of those that with us wounded were , VVe hope the use of one limb shall forbeare ; For which we give all Honour , Laud , and Praise Unto th' Almighty Ancient of all dayes . He is the God of Battels , and 't was He With his strong Arme , that got the victorie : The Lord of Hosts was onely our defence , And we were his unworthy Instruments . His power hath brought to passe most wondrous things , And with small meanes confounded mighty Kings : VVhen Egypts Pharaoh did his name despise , He foyld him with an Hoast of Lice and Flyes , And ( 'gainst that King ) Gods souldiers in those warres , Were Hailstones , Scabs , and Frogs , and Grashoppers , For such contemptuous vermin he can make His Armies , to inforce great Kings to quake . Gedeon , with poore three hundred ( Truth recites ) Destroyd the mighty Hoast of Midianites . With Foxes , and the Jaw-bone of an Asse , Gods strength in Sampson brought great things to passe . VVith Shamgars slender goad , and Jaels Nayle , ( Against the proud ) th' Almighty can prevaile . All ea●thly force ( t' oppose his force ) is feeble , Goliahs braines were pierced with a pibble ; And surely , had the Lord not fought for us , We had not liv'd to tell our story thus . These Rabshakaes , that each occasion waits To rob and spoyle all Christians in the Straits , Whose barbarous and inhumane cruelty Is worse than Death ( for Death ends misery ) For such as dye under our Saviours Banner , ( Dye Conqu'rors ) 't is no matter in what manner . Would every man resolve thus , surely then Men would not give away ships , goods , and men To these Mahometan base Infidels , Whose spight gainst Christ and Christians so excels , Then would our resolution strike a feare And terror in these Hell-hounds of Argiere , Their hopes are numbers , threats and composition , A Trembling , cowardly and base submission ; And thus with Bug-beare looks , and scare-crow words , They oft win more than with Guns , Pikes , or swords . Had Weddell yeelded in the Persian Gulph , Rufrero had devour'd him like a Wolfe : Had Nichols yeelded like a fearefull mome , His ship with victory had ne're come home : Had Malam basely given himselfe away , He had bin captiv'd , and lost a glorious day . And e're this fight had Ellison given over , His credit he should ne're againe recover ; Then let men strive to doe as hath bin done By VVeddell , Nichols , Malam , Ellison , Take faith , and hope , and courage in distresse , Trust in the Lord , and he 'le give good successe . We brag not ( I would have it understood ) 'T is not the arme of man , nor flesh and blood That can effect such mighty things as these , But onely he that rules heav'n , earth , and seas , He gives the courage , and the fortitude To few men , to withstand a multitude ; And yet to brag and boast there 's none more apt Than such as in a cowards skin are wrap'd : Such as dare not looke danger in the face , But seeke some skulking hole , or hiding place , Betweene the Decks , or in some Cable-Teire , To keepe their carkasse shot-free in their feare ; Who feare a Guns report , more than they doe The Hangman , Gallowse , and the Halter too . These , and none else but such as these will prate , And lyes and letters often shall relate The unknowne worthy Actions which they did , Remembring not to tell how they were hid I' th Cook-roome , or some Cabbin , or the Hold , As is before a little plainly told . VVe are not such , we therefore say againe , Gods be the glory ; all our force was vaine ; But yet we knew our cause was just and right , And so the Lord encourag'd us to fight . But some perhaps may say we are too free , And that good ships and men may taken be VVith multitudes of enemies combinde , And disadvantage of Sea , Sunne , and winde ; And that in such a case , good composition On reasonable termes , a forc'd condition Is better part with part , than to lose all , And into an assur'd destruction fall . All this is right ; but yet all this is wrong , If men doe not what doth to men belong : VVe know that ships , and men , as good as any , Have beene sunke , slaine , and taken , too too many ; But sure we thinke their detrimentall Fate Should not make men despairing , desperate ; But stand upon defence whil'st hope doth last , And ne're compound or yeeld , till hope is past . For certaine 't is , these Argeire dogs are such , VVith faith and troth they seldome doe keepe touch ; But contrary to humane kinde profession , Their composition turnes to base oppression : Besides , we know not what will Merchants say , VVhen ( without leave ) we give their goods away . Therefore , as Merchants make account of men , Let men so serve them honestly agen ; If they pay us , we hold it right and just To serve , and to be worthy of their trust : But if there were such as would not depart With fraight and wages , fitting mens desert , Shall men turne ill ' cause they are ill inclin'd ? Or shall their being darke make others blinde ? If any such therebe , we hope they 'le mend ; Or if they mend not , they will one day end . So gracious God thy mercy we implore , To blesse all such as doe thy Name adore : And for thy glorious sonnes most boundlesse merit , Give Christians all , thy All-preserving spirit ; Encourage them to fight , and to withstand Thine enimies and theirs , let thy strong hand And their weake faith be strengthned still by thee , That in thy name they may victorious be . Snaffle , and curbe those rude unmanag'd jades That live by Theft , and spoyle of Merchants Trades . Thine are the Seas , O let the Seas be free For Traffique , and the honour be to thee ; And as these Turks with Satans guiles are wounded , Be they by thee conformed , or confounded . And if thou please in Mercies manifold , As there 's one shepherd , make us one sheepfold . To make some things more plaine and obvious to the Reader , we desire him to take into consideration , that wee went to a place called Buttow , upon the Coast of Barbarie , where finding no goods to fraight our ship as we expected , but onely Wheat , which was sold for six shillings the bushell there , which , though it were deare , we desired to be fraighted with it , and to carry it to the Canaries ; but theMerchantsFactors there , would not give so great a price for so much of it as would fraight us ; but they adventured for so much as did a quarter lade us ; with the which Corne , and some gold and silver of the Merchants , we weighed Anchor from Buttow , and came to the Road at Tittawan , where the nine Argeire Pyraticall ships ( or men of warre ) did assault us , as is before related ; but when ( by Gods assistance ) we had gotten from our enimies , we made for the Canaries , there to sell our Corne , and to fraight our ship from thence for England : we being arrived at the Canaries , did find the people oppressed with an extreme famine , so that they look'd rather like the ghosts or Anatomics of dead carkasses than of living men or women . In briefe , they were so pyn'd and pinch'd with hunger , that many of them did drop downe dead daily in the streets , starv'd to death ; so that our small quantity of corne which wee brought from Buttow ( which cost but six shillings the Bushell ) we sold it at the Canaries for 33 s. the Bushell . So that if our Merchants Factors had fully fraighted us with Wheat at Buttow , we had made a profitable voyage with it at the Canaries , for they would have given almost any price for it . Our Wheat being sold , wee could have no fraight at the Canaries , the season was so farre past , and therefore with such gold and silver as we had ( which was the Merchants ) we weighed from the Canaries , and ( by the favour of God ) wee after all these dangers arrived safely at London in April last , 1636. To close up all , M r. Ellison had one of his men , named VVilliam Ling , who was a quarter Master . This Ling ( with two men more ) had the charge to ply two peeces of Ordnance in the Steerage . Ling having a Cabbin on the Decke over his head , had in his Cabbin some Barbarie gold and other good stuffe , which he had cramm'd into an old Boot . In the Steerage where Ling was , he did open a small Loope-hole , through which hee espyed a Turke that had broke open his Cabbin , and had made a booty of his Boot ; which Ling perceiving , not well pleased with , put to a charged Musket , presenting it through the aforesaid Loop-hole he shot the Turk thorough , who strait fell downe ; and after the fight Ling found him dead with the golden lynde Boot in his hand , a good Semiter by him , a great silver sealed Ring on his finger , which finger was so swelled that hee was faine to cut it off to have the Ring ; which having done , and pillaged the pillager naked , Ling gave him a cast of his office overboord , to feed Cods , Haddocks and Sharks . I have named Captaine Iohn VVeddell , and Master Edward Nichols , and Master Malam , in this former relation , which although two of them are dead , and the third onely remaining alive ( I meane Captaine John VVeddell ) and though their persons and worth were knowne to many , yet there are more that knew them not ; for whose satisfaction I will give a memorable touch of their three severall noble and valiant Sea-fights , although some of them haue bin more at large related by mee many yeares agoe . Mr. Edward Nichols was Master of the good ship called the Dolphin of London , of the Burthen of 240 tuns ( or thereabouts ) mann'd with 36 men and 2 boyes , 19 peeces of Ordnance , and 9 murtherers , being laden at Zant , and bound homeward for England , was set upon by six great Turkish men of warre , with 1500 men in them at least , and 140 odde Guns , and after a cruell and bloody fight ( which continued the space of five houres ) with three most terrible assaults , with the losse of eleven men and boyes who were killed , and five maymed and hurt , the ship was set on fire in the fight , which made the Pyrats forsake her ( having their ships sorely torne and rent with the Dolphins Ordnance ) three of their Captaines being fugitive or Renegade Englishmen ; namely , Captaine Kelley , Captaine VValsingham , and Captaine Sampson ; but lastly , it pleased God that by the mens industry the fire was quenched : This fight was fought the 12. of January , 1616. And when the ship was repaired , at a place called Callarie , she set saile homewards , and after all these dangers , arrived safe at London . The fame of which danger and deliverance came to the hearing of our Royall Prince Charles , who is now our gracious Soveraigne ; hee to honour and give applause to so worthy a designe , did come aboord of her , and viewed her hurts and dangerous breaches , where to the encouragement of others to imitate Master Nichols in resolution and noble valour , his Highnesse grac'd him to make him his servant , with the title of a Captaine . Captaine Iohn VVeddell on the first of February being Sunday , 1624. was homewards bound for England from the East-Indies : and in the Gulph of Persia , hee being generall Commander of the Fleet , which consisted of foure good ships ; namely , the Royall Iames , Admirall ; the Ionas , Vice-admirall ; the Starre , Rere-admirall , and the Eagle ; There was also ( to associate the English ) foure good Dutch ships , whose names were , The South Holland , Admirall ; the Bantam , Vice-admirall ; the Mawd of Dort , Rere-admirall , and the VVeasop , under the Command of an experienc'd brave Sea-man named Albert Becker . These two Commanders were set upon by eight great ships or Galliows of the Portugales , and 32 Friggots , which were under the Command of Rufrero ( an inexorable and implacable enemie to Captaine VVeddell . ) These two Fleets met and fought on the day aforesaid with furious opposition , fighting three dayes without intermission , at which time the Dutch Admirall Albert Becker was slaine , with 28 more that were killed in his ships , and the English lost much about the same number ; but ( as it was related by a French-man that was with the Portugals in the fight ) the enemie had of his men slaine 481 , besides many maymed and hurt ; they having 232 peeces of Ordnance , and 2100 men , besides 32 Friggots , against the English and Dutch ; yet were some of them sunke , many of them spoyld , and by the mercy and assistance of God , they were all foyld . So that after many dangers past , Captaine VVeddell with ships and goods came richly welcome to London . Concerning Captaine Richard Malam , his fight was inferiour to none of the former , and his deliverance was as remarkable as any : the story of it was never published , therefore I may erre in the time when , but I shall hit right upon the matter how it was ; and ( as I thinke it was in Anno 1621. or thereabouts , ) which if I faile , there are many yet living in Rederiffe and elsewhere to confute me . This Richard Malam being Commander in a small ship of London named the VVilliam and Francis , or VVilliam and Iohn , having but eleven pceces of Ordnance , was ( neere the South Cape ) set upon and fiercely fought withall by eleven Tukish men of Warre ; the fight continued from the morning till the darknesse of the night made them come to a parley and truce till the next day-light , upon condition that Captaine Malam , and one Master Hughkinson of Dover ( who was Cape Merchant , and then in the fight ) should come aboord of the Turkish Admirall for pledges that Malams ship should not be stolne or slipp'd away in the night : In this hard exigent and condition they both went into a Boat which the Turke sent for them , for the ships were so torne in the fight , and many men slaine and hurt , that they were all willing to have a little ease till the morning . But as Malam and the Merchant went downe out of his ship into the Turkish Boat , he spake softly to his mate and some other of his men , that if they could they should convey the ship away in the night , whilest he was aboord of the enemie , and let him and the Merchant shift for themselves as they could . The Boat carried Malam and Hughkinson aboord the Turke where they were well entertained , and their wounds drest ( for Malam had received a hurt , but I know not whether the other was hurt or not ) but the Turke contrary to a Turkish nature did deale very affable with them , applauding their valours , though they had done him much spoyle ; but in the morning , when they thought to have set them aboord their ship againe to renue the fight , the Turkes perceived the ship was gone , in a rage commanded that Malam and the Merchant should be both hanged at the yard Armes of his ship . In this extremitie Captaine Malam told the Turke that his ship was so torne and rent with their Ordnance , that hee thought shee was sunke to the Seas bottome , and not conveyed away as hee suspected , all which the Turke would not beleeve , but commanded his men to make speed with the execution : Then Malam said to him , Sir , I have done you no wrong , but I have sustained a great losse by you ; I have lost in the Sea my men , my ship , my goods , with a great deale that did belong to other men , and shall I now lose my life ? If it must be so , I doe intreat you that wee may not dye thus ignominiously by the Halter ; but let us be fastened to the mast , and be shot to death with muskets . The Turke presently condescended to his request ; but as they were making ready for death , there was a small Scottish ship came sayling about a point of land in ken of them : The Turkes being greedy for prey , deferr'd the execution , and made towards the Scottishman , which being a small Vessell of little resistance or defence , was presently at the Pyrats mercie , who did but halfe pillage her , and in a generous way did release both Captaine Malam and Hughkinson , putting them both into the Scottish Ship , which Ship ( being the Turkes prize ) hee gave to Malam ; but when shee brought him to London , hee gave her freely to the Scottishman againe : And thus was this fight and escape ; and for a further happinesse , after Captaine Malam had beene at home at Rederiffe some certaine dayes , his men brought the ship home , where shee arrived safe at London . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13423-e260 Iudg. 7. Iudg. 15. Iudg. 3 & 4. 
A13424	----	A briefe remembrance of all the English monarchs, from the Normans conquest, vntill this present. By Iohn Taylor Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1618 Approx. 32 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 53 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13424 STC 23736 ESTC S102441 99838226 99838226 2593 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13424) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 2593) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1085:13) A briefe remembrance of all the English monarchs, from the Normans conquest, vntill this present. By Iohn Taylor Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [52] p. : ports. (metal cuts) Printed by George Eld, for Henry Gosson, London : 1618. Engraved half-length portraits with verses. In this edition, C2r last line has "waite". Signatures: A (-A1) B-C D³. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Great Britains -- Kings and rulers -- Pictorial works -- Early works to 1800. Great Britains -- Kings and rulers -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A BRIEFE REMEMBRANCE OF ALL THE ENGLISH MONARCHS , From the Normans Conquest , vntill this present . BY IOHN TAYLOR LONDON : Printed by George Eld , for Henry Gosson . 1618. WILLIAM THE FIRST , Surnamed the CONQVEROVR : KING OF ENGLAND , And DVKE OF NORMANDIE . William 7 D : of Normandy . at the age of 38 yeares Conquered England , Was Crouned at Westminster the 25 of December . 1667 Raigned 20 Yeares 10 months . 26. dais . died at St. garuis in Norm the 9 of Septemb buried at Caen in Normandy . William Conquerour . BY bloudy battels , Conquest , and by Fate , Faire Englands Crowne and Kingdom I surpris'd : I topsie-turuy turn'd the English State , And Lawes and Customes new and strange deuis'd . And where I vanquish't , there I tyranniz'd , In stead of peoples loue , inforcing feare : Extorting Tolls I daily exercis'd , And Tributes , greater then this Land could beare . Besides , ( the Normans fame the more to reare ) The English I forbad the English tongue , French Schooles of Grammer I ordayned here , And ' gainst this Nation added wrong to wrong . At last my Crowne , Sword , Scepter , Conquest braue I left , I lost , scarce found an earthly Graue . WILLIAM THE SECOND , Surnamed RVFVS : KING OF ENGLAND , And DVKE OF NORMANDIE . William Rufus was Crowned at Westminster the 26. of Septemb 1087. being 21 yeares of age . Hee raigned 12 yeares 11. months 18. daies . was killed with an arrow in new forrest the 2 of Aug : 1160. was buried at winchester William Rufus . WHat my triumphant Father wan , I held , I pill'd and poll'd this Kingdom more then he . Great Tributes from my people I compeld : No place in Church , or Common-wealth was free , But alwayes those that would giue most to mee Obtain'd their purpose being wrong or right . The Clergy I enforced to agree To sell Church-plate and Challices out-right , Vntill at last ( by the Almighties might ) My Kingly power and force was forcelesse made , My glorious pomp that seem'd t'eclips mens sight , Did vanish by a glance , by chance , and fade : For hunting in New forrest ( voyd of feare ) A Subiect slew me , shooting at a Deere . HENRY THE FIRST , Surnamed BEAVCLERK : KING OF ENGLAND , And DVKE OF NORMANDIE . Henry the 1 , Beuclarck , borne at selbye in york shire Was crouned at the age of 30 yeares the ●● of August . he Raigned 35. Yeares 4. months Died in the forest of Lions . in the 65. yeare of age 1135. buried in Redding abby Henry I. MY Father and my Brother Kings , both gone , With acclamations Royall I was crown'd : And hauing gain'd the Scepter and the Throne , I with the name of Beauclerk was renown'd : The English Lawes long lost , I did refound , False weights and measures I corrected true . The power of Wales in fight I did confound , And Normandy my valour did subdue . Yet I vnmindfull whence these glories grew , My eldest Brother Robert did surprise , Detain'd him , and vsurp'd his Royall due , And most vnnat'rally pluckt out his eyes , Kings liue like Gods , but yet like men they dye , All must pay Natures due , and so did I. STEPHEN KING OF ENGLAND , And DVKE OF NORMANDIE . King Stephen sonne to Stephen Earle of Blois : and of Adela daughter to William Conquerour : began his raigne the 2d. of December , 1135. he raigned 18 years , 11 months , and 18 dayes , died at the age of 49 yeares , and lyeth buried at Feversham . K. Stephen . BY wrested Titles and vsurping claime , Through storms & tempests of tumultuous wars , The Crowne , ( my fayrest marke and fouleft ayme ) I won and wore , beleaguerd round with iars . The English , Scots , and Normans all prepares Their powers exposing to oppose my powers , Whilst this Land laden and or'ewhelm'd with cares Endures , whilst war , woe , want , and death deuoures , But as years , months , weeks , daies , decline by howers , Howers into minutes , minutes into nought : My painefull pomp decaid like fading flowers And vnto nought was my Ambition brought . Thus is the state of transitory things , There 's nothing can be permanent with Kings . HENRY THE SECOND , KING OF ENGLAND , DVKE OF NORMANDIE , Guyen and Aquitaine , &c. Henry the 2. surnamed plantagenett . Raigned 34 Yeres 9 monethes and 2 daies . He dyed the 6 of July 1189. in the 61 Yere of his age was buried at fonteuerard in normandy . Henry 2. TO th' Empresse Maud I was vndoubted heyre , And in her Right my title being iust , By Iustice I obtain'd the Regall Chayre . Fayre Rosamond I soyled with foule lust , For which Heauens Iustice ( hating deedes vniust ) Stir'd vp my wife and Sonnes to be my foes : Who sought to lay my Glory in the dust , And he m'd me round with cruell wars and woes . They poysned my sweet beautious tainted Rose , By Isabels deuice my furious Queene : My very bowels 'gainst me did oppose : Such fruit hath lust , such force hath iealous spleene . My cursed crosses made me curse my birth , With care I liu'd , raign'd , dyed , and turn'd to earth . RICHARD THE FIRST , Surnamed CVER DE LYON . KING OF ENGLAND , DVKE OF NORMANDIE , Guyen and Aquitaine , &c. King Richard surnamed Cordelyon . Was 43 Yeres ould when he had Raigued 9 Yeres 9 monethes and 22 daies was wounded and died the 6 daie of aprill 1199. Was buried att fonteuerard Richard I. THrough my Creators mercy and his might , Ierusalem I conquer'd and set free False misbeleeuing ewes , and Turkish spight From Iury force perforce I forc'd to flee . The Realme of Cipresse was subdude by mee . Sicillia trembled a : my prowesse bold . King Tancred bought his peace , and did agree , And paid mee threescore ounces of fine gold , Whilst I abroad won honours manifold . Aspiring Iohn ( my Brother ) vext my Realme . In Austria I was tane , and laid in hold : Thus flouds of griefe each way me ouer-whelme . At last I home return'd , my Ransome paid , My earthly glory in a Graue was laid . IOHN KING OF ENGLAND , DVKE OF NORMANDIE , Guyen and Aquitaine : LORD OF IRELAND , &c. King John , surnamed without land Raigned 17 Yeres and 7 monethes died 19 daie of october , 1216. Was buried att worcester in the 51 Yere of his age K. John. ROmes mighty miterd Metropolitan I did oppose , and was by him depos'd : He turn'd his cursed blessings to his ban , And caus'd me round to be with cares inclos'd . The English and the Normans me oppos'de , And Lewis of France my Kingdome did molest , Whilst I to all these miseries expos'd , Consum'd my Kingly dayes in restlesse rest . At last the Pope was pleas'd , and I reblest ; Peace was obtain'd , proclaim'd I re-inthroan'd . Thus was my raigne with woes opprest and prest , Blest curst , friends , foes , diuided and atton'd . And after seauenteene yeares were gone and past , At Swinstead poysned , there I dranke my last . HENRY THE THIRD , KING OF ENGLAND , Lord of IRELAND , DVKE OF NORMANDIE , Guyen and Aquitaine , &c. King Henry the 3. Was Crouned at the age of 9 Yeres the 28 october 1216 he Raigned 56 Yeres and 20 daies , dyed the 16 of nouember 1272 tyeth buried at Westminster . Henry 3. IN toyle and trouble , midst contentious broyles , I seiz'd the Scepter of this famous Land : Then being greatly wasted with the spoyles Which Lewis had made with his French furious band But I with Peeres and people brauely mand , Repeld , repulst , expulst insulting foes . My Barons did my Soueraigntie withstand , And wrapt themselues and me in wars and woes : But in each battell none but I did lose , I lost my Subiects liues on euery side : ( From Ciuill wars no better gayning growes ) Friends , foes , my people , all , that fought or dyed . My gaines was lesse , my pleasure was my paine . These were the triumphs of my troublous Raigne . EDWARD THE FIRST , KING OF ENGLAND , Lord of IRELAND , Duke of AQVITAINE , &c. Eduard the 1. borne at westmin was Crowned at westmi : At the age of 33 yeares . the 18 of September . the 2. yeare of his raigne 1274 Hee raigned 34 Yeares 6. monthes and 14 dais . hee died at burgh vpon the sandes . lieth buried at westminster . Edward Long-shankes . MY Victories , my Valour , and my strength , My Actions , and my neuer-conquer'd name , Were spred throghout the world in bredth & length By mortall deeds , I wan immortall Fame . Rebellious Wales I finally did tame , And made them Vassalls to my Princely Son : Ientred Scotland fierce with Sword and Flame , And almost all that Kingdome ouerrun . Still where I fought , triumphantly I won , Through Blood and Death my Glory I obtain'd : But in the end when all my acts were done , A Sepulcher was all the gaine I gain'd . For though great Kings contend for earthly sway , Death binds them to the peace , and parts the fray . EDWARD THE SECOND , KING OF ENGLAND , Lord of IRELAND , Duke of AQVITAINE , &c. King Edward the 2. surnamed Carnaruen was crouned att westminster at the 22. yere of his age the 24. of febru : 1308. he Raigned 19 yere . 6 monethes Was deposed the 25 of Ianiwarius 1326. he was slayne : in the castle of barkley in the 43 yere of his age . Edward 2. SOone after was my fathers Corps inter'd , Whilst Fate and Fortune did on me attend : And to the Royall Throne I was prefer'd , With Aue Casar euery knee did bend , But all these fickle ioyes , did fading end , Peirce Gaueston , to thee my loue combinde : My friendship to thee scarce left me a friend , But made my Queene , Peeres , People , all vnkind , I tortur'd , both in body and in mind Was vanquisht by the Scots at Bannocks Bourne : And I enforc't by flight some safety finde , Yet taken by my Wife at my returne , A Red-hot spit my Bowels through did gore , Such misery , no Slaue endured more . EDWARD THE THIRD , KING OF ENGLAND , And FRANCE , LORD OF IRELAND , &c. Eduard the 3. borne at winsor . was Crowned at westminster the 2. of feb : 1327. being 15. Yeares olde Raigned 50. years 4 months 24 dais . Dyed the 21 of June 1377 lyeth buired in west : . Edward 3. IN Peace and War , my Stars auspitious stood , False Fortune stedfast held her wauering Wheele ; I did reuenge my Fathers butche'rd blood , I forced France my furious force to feele : I Warr'd on Scotland with triumphing Steele , Afflicting them with slaughtcring Sword and Fire : That Kingdome then deuided needs mustreele , Betwixt the Bruces and the Balliols ire . Thus daily still my glory mounted higher , With blacke Prince Edward my victorious Son , Vnto the top of Honor wee aspire , By manly , Princely , worthy actions done . But all my Triumphs , fortunes , strength , and force , Age brought to death , and death turn'd to a Coarse . RICHARD THE SECOND , KING OF ENGLAND , And FRANCE : LORD OF IRELAND , &c. RICHARD the 2. borne at Burdeaux Sonne to Edward Prince of Wales . begann his Raigne the 21 of Iune An o : Dni : 1377. he Raiged 22. yeares , was Deposed : & died the 14. of February 1399. First buried at Langley in Hartfordshire . & afterwardes at Westmīster . Richard 2. A Sun-shine morne , precedes a showry day , A Calme at Sea oft times fore-runnes a Storme : All is not gold that soemes so glistring gay : Foule Vice is fairest features Canker-worme , So I that was of blood , descent and forme , The perfect image of a royall stock , Vnseason'd young a duice did me deforme , Split all my Hopes against Despaires black rock , My Regall name and power was made a mock , My Subiects madly in Rebellion rose , Mischiefe on mischiefe all in troopes did flock , Oppos'd , depos'd , expos'd , inclos'd in woes , With wauering fortunes , troublously I raign'd , Slaine by soule murther , peace and rest I gaind . HENRY THE FOVRTH KING OF ENGLAND , And FRANCE : LORD OF IRELAND , &c. HENRY the 4. borne at Bollingbroke in the County of Lincolne , began̄ his Raigne the 26. of September . 1●● Raigned 13. yeares & 6. moneths & died in An o : D : 1413. Of the age of 46. yeares , buried at Canterbury Henry 4. FRom right ( wrong-doing ) Richard I did wrest His Crowne mis-guided , but on me mis-plac'd : Vnciuill Ciuill Wars my Realme molest , And English men did England spoyle and wast . The Sire the Son , the Son the Father chas'd , Vndutifull , vnkind , vnnaturall , Both Yorke and Lancaster were rais'd and rac'd , As Conquest did to either Faction fall . But still I grip'd the Scepter and the Ball , And what by wrong I won , by might I wore : For Prince of Wales I did my Son install , But as my Martiall Fame grew more and more , By fatall Fate my vitall threed was cut , And all my Greatnes in a Graue was put . HENRY THE FIFT , KING OF ENGLAND , And FRANCE : LORD OF IRELAND , &c. Henry the 5. bagan his Raigne . the 20. of March. Was Crouned At Westminster . the 9 of Aprill . 1413. He Raigned 9 Yeares . 2 months . died in the castel of Boyes nere paris the 13 of August . 1422. buried at Westminster . Henry 5. FRom my Lancastrian Sire succesiuely , I Englands glorious golden Garland got : I temperd Iustice with mild clemency , Much bloud I shed , yet bloud-shed loued not . Time my Sepulchre and my bones may rot , But I i me can neuer end my endlesse fame . O' liuion cannot my braue acts out blot , Or make Forgetfulnesse forget my name . I plaid all France at Tennise such a Game , With roaring Rackets , bandyed Bals and Foyles : And what I plaid for , still I won the same , Triumphantly transporting home the spoyles . But in the end grim Death my life affail'd , And as I liu'd I dy'd , belou'd , bewayl'd . HENRY THE SIXT , KING OF ENGLAND , And FRANCE : LORD OF IRELAND , &c. Henry the 6 of the age of 8 moneths Began his Raigne , Tte . 1. of September . 1422. Crowned at Westminster the 6 of Nouember 1429 Afterward Crowned at Paris 7 September 1431 Raigned 38 yeares 6 moneths 4 dayes Buried at Winsore . Henry 6. GReat Englands Mars ( my Father ) being dead , I , not of yeares , or yeare ; but eight months old : The Diadem was plac't vpon my head , In royall Robes the Scepter I did hold : But as th' Almighties workes are manifold , Too high for mans conceit to comprehend : In his eternall Register enrold My Birth , my troublous Life and tragicke End. 'Gainst me the house of Yorke their force did bend , And Peeres and People weltred in their gore : My Crowne and Kingdome they from me did read , Which I , my Sire , and Grandsire kept and wore . Twice was I crown'd , vncrown'd , oft blest , oft crost , And lastly , murdred , life and kingdome lost . EDWARD THE FOVRTH , KING OF ENGLAND , And FRANCE , LORD OF IRELAND , &c. Edward the 4 beeing 18 yeares Olde . began his Raigne the 4 of march 1460 he was crowned 6 of June he Raigned 22 years 1 month 8 dayes and lyeth buried in Winsor . Edward 4. I Yorkes great heire ( by fell domesticke Warre ) Inthroned was , vn-King'd , and reinthroan'd : Subiecting quite the House of Lancaster , Whilst wofull England ouerburthen'd , groan'd : Old Sonlesse Sires and Childlesse Mothers moan'd : These bloody broyles had lasted threescore yeares , And till the time we were in peace attoan'd , It wasted fourescore of the Royall Peeres : But age and time all earthly things outweares , Through terrours , horrors , mischiefe and debate , By trust , by treason , by hopes , doubts and feares , I got , I kept , I left and lost the State. Thus as disposing heauens doe smile or frowne , So Cares or Comforts waite vpon a Crowne . EDWARD THE FIFT , KING OF ENGLAND , And FRANCE , LORD OF IRELAND , &c. Edward the 5 being 13 yeres of age came att london to be crouned the 4 of may 1483. Was deposed of his Croune by his onnaturall onkel the protecter , laste his lyff in the tower his buriall is onknowen . Edward 5. IF birth , if beauty , innocence and youth , Could make a Tyrant feele one sparke of grace , My crooked Vncle had bene mou'd to ruth , Beholding of my pittie-pleading face . But what auailes to spring from royall Race ? What surety is in beauty , strength , or wit ? What is commaund , might , eminence and place , When treason lurkes where Maiesty doth sit ? My haplesse selfe had true false proofe of it : Nipt in my bud and blasted in my bloome : Depriu'd of life by murther , most vnfit , And for three Kingdomes could not haue one Tomb. Thus Treason all my glory ouer-top't , And e're the Fruite could spring , the Tree was lop't RICHARD THE THIRD , KING OF ENGLAND , And FRANCE : LORD OF IRELAND , &c. Richard the 3. king of England began his Raigne the 22. of June 1483. hee Raigned 2 Yeares 2. months hee was slaine at bosworth by Henrie earle of Richmond . And lyeth buried at lecester . Richard 3. AMbition's like vnto a quenchlesse thirst . Ambition Angels threw from Heauen to Hell , Ambition ( that infernall Hag ) accurst , Ambitiously made me aspire , rebell : Ambition , that damned Necromanticke Spell , Made me clime proud , with shame to tumble downe . By bloudy murther I did all expell , Whose right , or might , debard me from the Crowne , My smiles , my gifts , my fauours , or my frowne , Were fain'd , corrupt , vile flattry , death and spight , By cruell Tyranny I gat renowne , Till Heau'ns iust Iudge me iustly did requite . By blood I won , by blood I lost the Throne : Detested liu'd ; dy'd lou'd , bewail'd of none . HENRY THE SEVENTH , KING OF ENGLAND , And FRANCE : LORD OF IRELAND , &c. Henry the 7. began his Raigne the 22. of June 1485. And was Crowned at Westminster the 30 of octob Hee Raigned 25. Yeares . and 8. monthes . and died the 22. of April . lieth buried at Westminster . Henry 7. I Was the Man ( by Gods high grace assign'd ) That for this restlesse Kingdome purchas 't Rest : I Yorke and Lancaster in one combinde , That sundred , had each other long opprest . My strength and pollicy th' Almighty blest With good successe , from first vnto the last : And high Iehouah turned to the best , A world of perils which my youth o're past . The white and red Rose I conioyned fast In sacred Marriages Coniugall band : I Traytorstam'd , and treason stood agast At mee ; strong guarded by my Makers hand . In glory and magnificence I Raign'd , And fame , loue and a tombe was all I gainde . HENRY THE EIGHT , KING OF ENGLAND , France and Ireland , Defender of the FAITH , &c. Henry the 8 Was borne at Grenwich Entred his Raigne being 18 yeares of age the 22 of Aprill 1509. Was Crouned at Westminster the 25. of June following . He Raigned 37. yeares and 9 months died the 28. of June . buried at Winsor . Henry 8. TO both the Royall Houses I was Heyre ; I made but one of long contending twaine : This Realme diuided drooping in despaire , I did rebinde in my auspicious Raigne . I banisht Romish Vsurpation vaine . In France I Bullen , Turwin , Turney wan : The Stile of Faiths Defender I did gaine . Sixe wiues I had , three An's , two Kates , one Iane. In my expences Royall , beyond measure , Striuing in Noble Actions to exceede ; Accounting Honour as my greatest Treasure : Yet various fancies did my frailty feede , I made and marr'd , I did , and I vndid , Till all my Greatnesse in a Graue was hid . EDWARD THE SIXT , KING OF ENGLAND , France and Ireland , Defender of the FAITH , &c. Edward borne at Hamton Court at the age of 9 yeares began his raigne the 31 of Janu 1546. Crowned at Westm : the 20 of februa : folowing , he raigned 6 yeares , 5 monthes died the 6 of Julie buried at westminster Edward 6. I Seem'd in wisdome aged in my youth , A Princely patterne ; I reform'd the time : With zeale and courage I maintain'd Gods truth , And Christian faith gainst Antichristian crime . My Father did begin ; I , in my prime , Both Baal and Beliall from this Kingdome droue , With concords true harmonious heauenly chime I caus'd be said and sung Gods truth and loue . From vertue vnto vertue still I stroue , I liu'd beloued both of God and men : My soule vnto her Maker soar'd aboue , My earthly part returnd to earth agen . Thus Death , my faire proceedings did preuent , And Peeres and People did my losse lament . MARY QVEENE OF ENGLAND , France and Freland , Defender of the FAITH , &c. Maria nata Grenouici ii febru : 1505. Incipit regnare . 6. Iuli : 1553. Regnauit 5 annos et 4 mensis . Obyt annos nata 45. et 9. mensis Queene Mary . NO sooner I possest the Royall Throne , But true Religion straight was dispossest : Bad Counsell caus'd Rome , Spaine , and I , as one , To persecute , to martyr , and molest All that the vnstain'd Truth of God profest : All such as dar'd oppugne the pow'rfull Pope , With grieuous Tortures were opprest and prest , With Axes , Fire , and Faggot , and the Rope . Scarce any Land beneath the heau'nly Cope , Afflicted was , as I caus'd this to bee : And when my fortunes were in highest hope , Death at the fiue yeares end arrested me . No Bale would serue , I could command no ayde , But I in prison in my Graue was laid . ELIZABETH QVEENE OF ENGLAND , France and Freland , Defender of the FAITH , &c. The most excellent Princes Elizabeth . Queene of Englande , France , and Ireland . Defendor of the Faith &c. She raigned 44 yeares , died the 24 , of March , 1602 aged 69 , 6 monthes : and lieth buried at Westminster Queene Elizabeth . THe griefes , the feares , the terrours and the toiles , The sleights , tricks , snares , that for my life were laid ; Popes prisons , poysons , pistols , bloody broyles , All these encompast me ( poore harmlesse Maid ) But I still trusting in my Makers aide , Was still defended by his power diuine : My Glory and my Greatnesse was displaid As farre as Sunne and Moone did euer shine . Gods mingled seruice I did re-refine From Romish rubbish , and from humane drosse . I yearely made the pride of Spaine decline : France and all Belgin I sau'd from losse . I was Arts patterne , t'Armes I was a Patron ; I liu'd and dy'd a Queene , a Maid , a Matron . IAMES , Of that name THE FIRST , And First MONARCH of the whole Iland of GREAT BRITAINE Vniting vnder one , and the same his most Glorious Crowne , the Kingdomes of ENGLAND , SCOTLAND , FRANCE and IRELAND : Gods immediate VICE-GERENT , Supreame HEAD of all Persons : And Defender of the true , ancient , Christian Faith in these his Empire and Dominions . Whom God long preserue . The right high and most mightie Monarch IAMES by the grace of God King of Great Britaine Fraunce and Ireland &c Defendor of the faith King James . WEre all the flattry of the world in mee , ( Great King of Hearts and Arts , Great Britaines King Yet all that flattry could not flatter thee : Or adde to thy renowne the smallest thing . My Muse ( with truth and freedome ) dares to sing , Thou art a Monarch lou'd of God and men . Two famous Kingdomes thou to one didst bring , And gau'st lost Britaines name , her name agen . Thou causedst Doctors with their learned pen , The sacred Bible newly to translate . Thy Wisdome found the damned powderd Den , That Hell had hatch'd to ouer-throw thy state . And all the world thy Motto must allow , The Peace-makers are blest ; and so art thou . CHARLES PRINCE OF WALES , &c. The most Illustrious Prince Charles Prince of Greate Brittaine and Ireland , Duke of Cornwall , Yorke , and Albany . Earle of Chester , & Kt of the most noble order of the Garter &c. Prince Charles . ILlustrious Off-spring , of most glorious Stems , Our happy hope , our Royall CHARLES the great , Successiue Heyre to foure Rich Diadems , With gifts of Grace , and Learning high repleate . For thee th' Almighties ayde I doe intreate , To guide and prosper thy proceedings still , That long thou maist suruiue a Prince compleate , To guard the Good , and to subuert the Ill. And when ( by Gods determin'd boundlesse will ) Thy gracious Father shall Immortall be , Then let thy Fame ( like his ) the world full fill , That thou maist ioy in vs , and wee in thee . And all true Britaines pray to God aboue , To match thy life and fortune with their loue . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13424-e6010 Compton Holland excudit 
A13431	----	The carriers cosmographie. or A briefe relation, of the innes, ordinaries, hosteries, and other lodgings in, and neere London, where the carriers, waggons, foote-posts and higglers, doe usually come, from any parts, townes, shires and countries, of the kingdomes of England, principality of Wales, as also from the kingdomes of Scotland and Ireland With nomination of what daies of the weeke they doe come to London, and on what daies they returne, whereby all sorts of people may finde direction how to receiue, or send, goods or letters, unto such places as their occasions may require. As also, where the ships, hoighs, barkes, tiltboats, barges and wherries, do usually attend to carry passengers, and goods to the coast townes of England, Scotland, Ireland, or the Netherlands; and where the barges and boats are ordinarily to bee had that goe up the river of Thames westward from London. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1637 Approx. 42 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 13 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13431 STC 23740 ESTC S118194 99853402 99853402 18785 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13431) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18785) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:9) The carriers cosmographie. or A briefe relation, of the innes, ordinaries, hosteries, and other lodgings in, and neere London, where the carriers, waggons, foote-posts and higglers, doe usually come, from any parts, townes, shires and countries, of the kingdomes of England, principality of Wales, as also from the kingdomes of Scotland and Ireland With nomination of what daies of the weeke they doe come to London, and on what daies they returne, whereby all sorts of people may finde direction how to receiue, or send, goods or letters, unto such places as their occasions may require. As also, where the ships, hoighs, barkes, tiltboats, barges and wherries, do usually attend to carry passengers, and goods to the coast townes of England, Scotland, Ireland, or the Netherlands; and where the barges and boats are ordinarily to bee had that goe up the river of Thames westward from London. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [24] p. Printed by A[nne] G[riffin], London : 1637. Printer's name from STC. Signatures: A-C⁴. Running title reads: A speedy way to finde out all carriers. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Transportation -- Great Britain -- Timetables -- Early works to 1800. Coaching -- Great Britain -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE Carriers Cosmographie . or A Briefe Relation , of The Innes , Ordinaries , Hosteries , and other lodgings in , and neere London , where the Carriers , Waggons , Foote-posts and Higglers , doe usually come , from any parts , townes , shires and countries , of the Kingdomes of England , Principality of Wales , as also from the Kingdomes of Scotland and Ireland . With nomination of what daies of the weeke they doe come to London , and on what daies they returne , whereby all sorts of people may finde direction how to receiue , or send , goods or letters , unto such places as their occasions may require . As also , Where the Ships , Hoighs , Barkes , Tiltboats , Barges and wherries , do usually attend to Carry Passengers , and Goods to the coast Townes of England , Scotland , Ireland , or the Netherlands ; and where the Barges and Boats are ordinarily to bee had that goe up the River of Thames westward from London . By Iohn Taylor . London Printed by A. G. 1637. To all Whom it may concerne , with my kinde remembrance to the Posts , Carriers , Waggoners and Higglers . IF any man or woman whomsoever hath either occasion or patience to Read this following description , it is no doubt but they shall find full satisfaction for as much as they laidout for the booke , if not , it is against my will , and my good intentions are lost and frustrate . I wrote it for three Causes , first for a generall and necessary good use for the whole Common-wealth , secondly to expresse my gratefull duty to all those who have honestly paid me my mony which they owed me for my Bookes of the collection of Tavernes , in London and Westminster , and tenne shires or Counties next round about London , and I doe also thanke all such as doe purpose to pay me heereafter : thirdly , ( for the third sort ) that can pay me and will not ; I write this as a document : I am well pleased to leave them to the hangmans tuition ( as being past any other mans mending ) for I would have them to know , that I am sensible of the too much losse that I doe suffer by their pride or cousenage , their number being so many , and my charge so great , which I paid for paper and printing of those bookes , that the base dealing of those sharks is Insupportable ; But the tedious T oyle that I had in this Collection , and the harsh and unsavoury answers that I was faine to take patiently , from Hostlers , Carriers , and Porters , may move any man that thinks himselfe mortall to pitty me . In some places I was suspected for a proiector , or one that had devised some tricke to bring the Carriers under some new taxation ; and sometimes I was held to have been a man taker , a Serieant or baylife to arrest or attach mens good or beasts ; indeed I was scarce taken for an honest man amongst the most of them : all which suppositions I was inforced oftentimes to wash away , with two or three Iugges of Beere , at most of the Innes I came to ; In some Innes or Hosteries , I could get no certaine Intelligence , so that I did take Instructions at the next Inne unto it , which I did oftentimes take upon trust though I doubted it was indirect and imperfect , Had the Carriers hostlers and others knowne my harmelesse and honest intendments , I doe thinke this following relation , had beene more large and usefull , but if there be any thing left out in this first Impression , it shall be with diligence inserted hereafter , when the Carriers and I shall bee more familiarly acquainted , and they , with the hostlers , shall be pleased in their ingenerosity , to afford me more Ample directions . In the meane space , I hope I shall give none of my Readers cause to curse the Carrier that brought me to towne . Some may object that the Carriers doe often change and shift from one Inne or lodging to another , whereby this following direction may be heereafter untrue , to them I answer , that I am not bound to binde them , or to stay them in any place , but if they doe remove , they may be enquired for at the place which they have left or for saken , and it is an easie matter to finde them by the learned intelligence of some other Carrier , an hostler , or an understanding Porter . Others may obiect and say that I have not named all the townes and places that Carriers doe goe unto in England and Wales : To whom I yeeld , but yet I answer , that if a Carrier of Yorke hath a letter or goods to deliver at any towne in his way thither , he serves the turne well enough , and there are carriers and messengers from Yorke to carry such goods and letters as are to be past any waies north , broad and wide as farre or further than Barwicke : so he that sends to Lancaster , may from thence have what he sends conveyd to Kendall , or Cockermouth , and what a man sends to Hereford may from thence be passed to Saint Davids in Wales , the Worster carriers can convey any thing as farre as Carmarthen , and those that goe to Chester may send to Carnarvan : the carriers or posts that goe to Exeter may send daily to Plimouth , or to the Mount in Cornewall , Maxfield , Chipnam , Hungerford , Newberry : and all those Townes betweene London and Bristow , the Bristow carriers doe carry letters unto them , so likewise all the townes and places are served , which are betwixt London and Lincolne , or Boston , Yarmouth , Oxford , Cambridge , Walsingham , Dover , Rye or any places of the Kings Dominions with safe and true carriage of goods and letters ; as by this little bookes directions may be perceived . Besides , if a man at Constantinople or some other remote part or Region shall chance to send a letter to his parents , master , or friends that dwell at Nottingham , Derby , Shrewsbury , Exeter , or any other towne in England ; then this booke will give instructions where the Carriers doe lodge that may convey the said letter , which could not easily be done without it : for there are not many that by hart or memory can tell suddenly where and when every carrier is to be found , I have ( for the ease of the Reader & the speedier finding out of every townes name , to which any one would send , or from whence they would receive , set them downe by way of Alphabet ; and thus Reader if thou beest pleased , I am satisfied , if thou beest contented , I am paid , if thou beest angry , I care not for it . A THe Carriers of Saint Albanes doe come every friday to the signe of the Peacocke in Aldersgate street , on which daies also commeth a coach from Saint Albanes to the bell in the same street , the like coach is also there for the Carriage of passengers every tuesday . The Carriers of Abington doe lodge at the George in bredstreet , they do come on wednesdaies and goe away on thursdaies . The Carriers of Aylsbury , in Buckingham shire , doe lodge at the George neere Holborne bridge , and at the swan in the strand , and at the Angel behinde Saint Clements church , and at the bell in holborne , they are at one of these places every other day . The Carriers of Ashur doe lodge at the castle in great woodstreet , they are to bee found there on thursdaies , fridaies and Saturdaies . B THe Carriers of Blanvile in Dorcetshire , doe lodge at the chequerneere Charing crosse , they doe come thither every second thursday , also there commeth carriers from Blandfourd , to the signe of the Rose neere Holbourne bridge . The Carriers of Brayntree , and Bocking in Essex doe lodge at the signe of the Tabbard in Gracious street , ( neere the conduit ) they doe come on thursdaies and goe away on fridaies . The Carriers of Bathe doe lodge at the three cups in bread street they come on fridaies and goe on saturdaies . The Carriers of Bristow doe lodge at the three Cups in bredstreet , and likewise from Bristow on Thursdaies a Carrier which lodgeth at the swan neere to holborne bridge , The Carriers of Brewton in Dorcetshire doe lodge at the Rose neere holborne bridge , they come on thursdaies and goe away on frydaies . The Carriers from divers parts of Buckinghamshire and Bedfordshire , are almost every day to bee had at the signe of the Saracens head without Newgate . The Carriers of Broomsbury , doe lodge at the signe of the Maidenhead in Cat-eatonstreet , neere the guildhall in London , they come on thursdaies and goe away on fridaies . The Carriers of Bingham , in Nottinghamshire , doe lodge at the blacke bull in smithfield , they come on fridaies . The Carriers of Bramley in Staffordshire , doe lodge at the castle neere smithfield barres , they come on thursdaies and goe away on fridaies or saturdaies . The Carriers of Burfoord in Oxfordshire , doe lodge at the bell in friday street , they come on thursdaies and goe away on fridaies . The Carriers of Buckhingham doe lodge at the kingshead in the old change , they come wednesdaies and thursdaies . The Carrriers of Buckingham , doe lodge at the saracens head in carter lane , they come and goe fridaies and saturdaies . The Carriers of Bewdley in Worcestershire , doe lodge at the castle in woodstreet , they come and goe thursdaies , fridaies and saturdaies . The Carriers of Buckingham , doe lodge at the George neere holborne bridge , they come and goe on wednesdaies , thursdaies and fridaies . The Carries of Brackley in Northamptonshire , doe lodge at the George neere holborne bridge , they come and goe on wednesdaies thursdaies and fridaies . The Carriers of Banbury in Oxfordshire doe lodge at the George neere holborne bridge , they goe and come wednesdaies , thursdaies and fridaies . The Carriers of Bedford doe lodge at the three horseshooes in in aldersgatestreet , they come on thursdaies . The Carriers of Bridge-north doe lodge at the Maidenhead in cateaton street , neere the guild-hall . The Carriers of Bury ( or saint Edmonds Bury ) in Suffolke , doe lodge at the dolphin without bishopsgate , they come on thursdaies . The Waggons of Bury or Berry in Suffolke , doe come every thursday to the signe of the foure swans in bishopsgate street . A foote-post doth come from the said Berry every wedensday to the greene dragon in bishopsgate street , by whom letters may be conveyed to and fro . The Carriers of Barstable in Devonshire , doe lodge at the starre in breadstreet , they come on fridaies and returne on saturdaies or mundaies . The Carriers of Bampton doe lodge at the Mer-maid in carterlane : and there also lodge the Carriers of Buckland , they are there on thursdaies and fridaies . The Carriers of Brill in Buckinghamshire , do lodge at the signe of Saint Pauls head in carterlane , they come on tuesdaies and wedensdaies . The Carriers of Bampton in Lancashire , doe lodge at the beare at Bashingshaw , they are there to bee had on thursdaies and fridaies , also thither commeth Carriers from other parts in the said County of Lancashire . The Carriers of Batcombe in Somersetshire , do lodge at the crowne ( or Iarrets Hall ) at the end of bassing lane neare bread street , they come every friday . The Carriers of Broughton , in Leicestershiere , doe lodge at the signe of the Axe in Aldermanbury ; they are there every friday . C THe Carrier of Colchester do lodge at the crosse-keyes in Gracious street , they come on the Thursdaies and goe away on the Fridaies . The Carrier of Chessam in Buckinghamshire , doth come twice every weeke to the signe of the white Hart in high Holborne at the end of Drury lane . The Carrier of Cogshall in Suffolk doth lodge at the spread Eagle in Gracious streete , he comes and goes on Thursdaies and Fridaies . The Waggors from Chippinganger in Essex , doe come every Wednesday to the crowne without Algate . The Waggons from Chelmsford in Essex , come on Wednesdaies to the signe of the blew Boare without Algate . The Carriers of Cheltenham in Glocestershire , doe lodge at the three caps in Bredstreet , they doe come on Fridaies and goe away on Saturdaies . The Carriers of Cambden in Glocestershire , and of Chippingnorton , doe lodge at the three Cups in Bredstreet , they come and goe Thursdaies , Fridaies , and Saturdaies . The Carriers of Chester doe lodge at the castle in Woodstreete , they are there to be had on Thursd. Frid. and Saturdaies . The Carriers of Chard in Dorsetshire , do lodge at the Queenes Armes neere Holborne bridge , they are there to be had on Fridaies . The Carriers of Chard doe lodge at the George in Bredstreet . The Carriers of Chester do lodge at Blossomes ( or Bosomes Inne ) in Saint Laurence lane , neere Cheapside , every Thursday . The Carrier of Coleashby in Northamptonshire , doe lodge at the signe of the Ball in Smithfield ; also there doe lodge Carriers of divers other parts of that country at the Bell in Smithfield , they do come on the Thursdaies . The Carriers of Crawley in Bedfordshire , doe lodge at the Beare and ragged staffe in Smithfield , they come on the Thursdaies . The Carriers of Coventry in Warwickeshire , doe lodge at the Ram in Smithfield , they come on Wednesdaies and Thursdaies . There are other carriers from Coventry that doe on Thursdaies and Fridaies come to the Rose in Smithfield . The Carrier of Creete in Leicestershire , doe lodge at the Rose in Smithfield . The Waggons or Coaches from Cambridge , doe come every Thursday and Friday to the blacke Bull in Bishopsgate street . The Carriers of Coventry doe lodge at the signe of the Axe in St Mary Axe in Aldermanbury , they are there Thursdaies and Fridaies . The Carriers of Cambridge , doe lodge at the Bell in Coleman streete , they come every Thursday . The foot-post of Canterbury doth come every Wednesday and Saturday to the signe of the two neck'd Swanne at Sommers key , neere Billingsgate , The Carriers of Crookehorne in Devonshire , doe lodge at the Queens Armes neere Holborne bridge , they come on Thursdaies . D THe Carriers of Dunmow in Essex , doe lodge at the Saracens head in Gracious street , they come and goe on Thursdaies and Fridaies . The Waggons from Dunmow , doe come every Wednesday to the crowne without Algate . The Carriers of Ditmarsh in Barkeshire , doe lodge at the George in Bredstreet . The Carriers of Doncaster in Yorkeshire , and many other parts in that country , doe lodge at the Bell , or Bell Savage without Ludgate , they do come on Fridaies , and goe away on Saturdaies or Mundaies . The Carriers of Dorchester , doe lodge at the Rose neere Holborne bridge , they come and goe on Thursdaies and Fridaies . The Carriers of Denbigh in Wales , doe lodge at Bosomes Iane every Thursday : also other carriers doe come to the said Iane from other parts of that country . The Carrier of Daintree , doth lodge every Friday night at the crosse keyes in St Iohns street . The Carrier from Duncehanger , and other places neere Stony Stratford , doe lodge at the three cups in St Johns streete . The Carriers of Derby , and other parts of Derbyshire , doe lodge at the Axe in St Mary Axe , neere Aldermanbury , they are to be heard of there on Fridaies . The Carriers of Darby doe lodge at the castle in woodstreet every weeke , on thursdaies or fridaies . E THe Carrier of Epping in Essex doe lodge at the Prince his Armes in Leadenhallstreet , he commeth on thursdaies . The Carriers of Eveter do lodge at the star in breadstreet , they come on fridaies and goe away on saturdaies or mundaies . The Carriers of Exeter do lodge at the rose neere holbornebridge they come on thursdaies . The Carriers of Eveshim in Worcestershire doe lodge at the cae●●● in woodstreet , they come thither on fridaies . F THe Carriers of Feckingham-forrest in Worcestershire doe lodge at the crowne in high holbourne , and at the Queenes head at Saint Giles in the fields , there is also another Carrier from the same place . The Carrier of Faringdon in Barkeshire doe lodge at the Saint Pauls head in Carter lane , they come on tuesdaies and goe away on wedensdaies . G CArriers from Grindon Vnderwood , in Buckinghamshire doe lodge at the Paul-head in carter lane , they are to bee found there on tuesdaies and wednesdaies . The Carriers of Glocester doe come to the Saracens head without Newgate , on fridaies . The Carriers of Gloster doe lodge at the Saracens head in carter lane , they come on fridaies . Clothiers doe come every weeke out of divers parts of Gloce●●ershire to the Saracens head in friday street . The Waines or Waggons doe come every weeke from sundry places in Glocestershire , and are to bee had at the swan neere holborne Bridge . There are Carriers of some places in Glocestershire that doe lodge at the mer-maide in Carterlane . H CArriers from Hadley in Suffolk , doe lodge at the George in Lumbardstreet , they come on thursdaies . The Carriers of Huntingdon , doe lodge at the White Hinde without Cripplegate , they come upon thursdaies and goe away on fridaies . The Carriers of Hereford , doe lodge at the Kings Head in the old change , they doe come on fridaies and goe on saturdaies . The Carriers of Hallifax in Yorkeshire doe lodge at the Greyhound in smithfield , they doe come but once every moneth . The Carriers of Hallifax are every Wednesday to be had at the Beare at Bashingsh●w . The Carriers of Hallifax doe likewise lodge at the Axe in Aldermanbury . The Carriers of Hallifax doe likewise lodge at the white hart in Colemanstreet . The Carrier of Hartfeild in Hartfordshire , doe lodge at the bell in Saint Iohns street they come on thursdaies . The Carriers of Harding in Hartfordshire doe lodge at the Cocke in Aldersgatesteete , they come on tuesdaies , wednesdaies and thursdaies . The Carrier or waggon of Hadham , in Hartfourshire do lodge at the Bull in B shopsgatestreet , they doe come and goe , on mundaies tuesdaies , fridaies and saturdaies . The Waggon , or Coach from Hartfourd Towne doth come every friday to the foure swannes without Bishopsgate . The Waggon or Coach of Hatfeild , doth come every friday to the Bell in Aldersgate street . I THe Carriers of Ipswich in Suffolke , doe lodge at the signe of the George in Lumbardstreet , they doe come on Thursdaies . The Post of Ipswich , doth lodge at the crosse keyes in Gracious streete , he comes on Thursdaies , and goes on Fridaies . The Waines of Ingarstone in Essex , doe come every Wednesday to the Kings Armes in Leadenball street . The Carriers of Jvell in Do sershire , do lodge at Jarrets hall , or the crowne in Basing lane , neere Breasteeet . K THe Carriers of Keinton in Oxfordshire , doe lodge at the Bell in Friday street , they are there to be had on Thursdaies and Fridaies . The Post of the Towne of Kingston upon Hull ( commonly called Hull ) doth lodge at the sign of the Bull over against Leaden-hall . L THe Carrier of Lincolne doth lodge at the white Horse without Cripplegate , he commeth every second Friday . The Carriers of Laighton Beud sart ( corruptly colled Laighton Buzzard ) in Bedfordshire , doe lodge at the Harts Hornes in Smithfield , they come on Mundaies and Tuesdaies . The Carriers of Leicester do lodge at the Saracens head without Newgate , they doe come on Thursdaies . The Carriers of Leicester do also lodge at the castle neer Smithfield bars , they doe come on Thursdaies . There be Carriers that do passe to and through sundry parts of Leicestershire , which doe lodge at the Ram in Smithfield . The like Carriers are weekely to be had at the Rose in Smithfild , that come and goe through other parts of Leicestershire . The Carriers of Lewton in Hartfordshire do lodge at the Cocke in Aldersgate street , they are there Tuesdaies and Wednesdaies . The Carriers of Leeds in Yorkshire , doe lodge at the Beare in Bassinshaw , they come every Wednesday . The Carriers of Leedes , doe also lodge at the Axe in Aldermanbury . The Carrier of Leicester do lodge at the Axe in Aldermanbury . The Carriers of Loughborough in Leicestershire , do lodge at the Axe in Aldermanbury : also other Carriers doe lodge there which do passe through Leicestershire , and through divers places of Lancashire . M THe Carriers of Mawlden in Essex , do lodge at the crosse keyes in Gracious street , they come on Thursd. and go on Fridaies . The Carriers of Monmouth , in Wales , and some other parts of Monmouthshire , do lodge at the Paul head in Carter lane , they do come to London on Fridaies . The Carriers of Marlborough , doe lodge at the signe of the Swan neere Holborne bridge , they do come on Thursdaies . There doth come from great Marlow in Buckinghamshire , some Higglers , or demie Carriers , they doe lodge at the Swanne in the Strand , and they come every Tuesday . The Carriers of Manchester , doe lodge at the Beare in Bassingshaw , they doe come on Thursdaies or Fridaies . The Carriers of Manchester , doe likewise lodge at the signe of the Axe in Aldermanbury . The Carriers of Manchester , doe also lodge at the two neck'd Swan in Lad lane ( betweene great Woodstreet , and Milk-street end ) they come every second Thursday : also there do lodge Carriers that doe passe through divers other parts of Lancashire . The Carriers of Melford in Suffolke , doe lodge at the spread-Eagle in Gracious street , they come and goe on Thursdaies aud Fridaies . N CArriers from New-elme in Barkeshire doe lodge at the George in breadstreet they come on wednesdaies and thursdaies . The Carriers of Netherley in Staffordshire doe lodge at the Beare and ragged staffe in smithfield , they doe come on thursdaies . The Carriers of Northampton , and from other parts of that county and country there about , are almost every day in the weeke to be had , at the Ram in smithfield . There doth come also Carriers to the Rose in smithfield , daily which doe passe to , or through many parts of Northamptonshire . The Carriers of Nottingham , doe lodge at the crosse-keyes in Saint Iohns street , he commeth every second saturday . There is also a footpost doth come every second thursday from Nottingham , he lodgeth at the swan in Saint Iohns street . The Carriers of Norwich doe lodge at the Dolphin without Bishopsgate , they are to bee found there on mundaies and tuesdaies . The Carriers of Newport Pannel in Buckinghamshire , doe lodge at the Peacocke in Aldersgate street , they doe come on mundaies and tuesdaies . The Carriers of Nantwich in Chesshire , doe lodge at the Axe in aldermanbury , they are there wednesdaies , thursdaies and fridaies . The Carriers of Nuneaton in Warwickshire , doe lodge at the Axe in Aldermanbury , they come on fridaies . O THe Carriers of Oxfoord doe lodge at the Saracens head without Newgate ( neere Saint sepulchers Church ) they are there on Wednesdaies or almost any day . The Carriers of Oney in Buckinghamshire , doe lodge at the ●ocke in Aldersgatestreet at long lane end , they doe come on mundaies , tuesdaies and wednesdaies . P THe Carriers of Preston in Lancashire doe lodge at the Bell in friday street , they are there on fridayes . R THe Carriers of Redding in Barkeshire doe lodge at the George in Breadstreet , they are there on thursdaies and fridaies . The Carriers from Rutland , and Rutlandshire , and other parts of Yorkeshire , do lodge at the Ram in Smithfield , they come weekly , but their daies of Comming is not certaine . S THe Carriers of Sudbury in Suffolke doe lodge at the Saracens Head in Gracious street , they doe come and goe on thursdaies and fridaies . The Carriers of Sabridgworth in Hartfordshire do lodge at the Princes Armes in Leadenhall street , they come on thursdaies . The Waines from Stock in Essex , doe come every Wednesday to the Kings Armes in Leadenhall street . The Carriers from Stroodwater in Glocestershire doe lodge at the Bell in friday street , they doe come on Thursdaies and fridaies . The Carriers of Sisham in Northhamptonshire do lodge at the Saracens head in Carter-lane , they come on friday , and returne on Saturday . The Carriers from Sheffield , in Yorkeshire doth lodge at the Castle in Woodstreet , they are there to bee found on Thursdaies and Fridayes . The Carriers from Salisbury doe lodge at the Queenes Armes neere Holbourne bridge , they come on thursdayes . The Carriers of Shrewsbury , doe lodge at the Mayden-head in Cateaton street , neere Guildhall , they come on thursdaies . The Carriers of Shrewsbury do also lodge at Bosomes Inne , they doe come on thursdaies , and there doe lodge Carriers that doe travell divers parts of the County of Shropshire and places adioyning . S THe Carrier from Stony-stratfourd doe lodge at the Rose and Crowne in Saint Iohns street , he commeth every tuesday . There doth come from Saffron-Market , in Norfolke , a footpost who lodgeth at the chequer in Holbourne . The Carriers of Stampfoord , doe lodge at the Bell in Aldersgate-street , they doe come on wednesdaies and thursdaies . The Waggon from Saffron Walden in Essex , doth come to the Bull in Bishopsgatestreet , it is to bee had there , on Tuesdaies and Wednesdaies . The Carriers of Shaftsbury , and from Sherbourne in Dorcetshire doe lodge at the Crowne ( or Iarrets Hall ) in Baseing lane neere Breadstreet , they come on fridaies . The Carriers from Stopfoord in Chesshire do lodge at the Axe in Aldermanbury , also there are Carriers to other parts of Chesshire . The Carriers of Staffoord , and other parts of that county , doe lodge at the swan with two necks , in Lad lane , they come on thursdaies . T CArriers from Teuxbury in Glocestershire doe lodge at the three Cups in Breadstreet , they come and goe on fridaies and saturdaies . The Carriers of Tiverton in Devonshire , doe lodge at the starre in Breadstreet , they come on fridaies and returne on saturdaies or mundaies . The Carriers of Tame , in Oxfoordshire , doe lodge at the Saracens head in carterland , they come and goe fridaies and saturdaies . The Carriers of Torceter in Northamptonshire , doe lodge at the Castle neere smithfield Barres , they come on thursdaies . V CArriers from Vies , ( or the De-Vises ) in Wiltshire , doe lodge at the signe of the swan neere Holbourne Bridge , they come on thursdaies and goe away on fridaies . W THe Carrier from Wendover in Buckinghamshire doth lodge at the blacke Swanne in Holborne , and is there every tuesday and wednesday . The Carrier of Wittham in Essex doth lodge at the Crosse-keyes in Gracious-street every thursday and friday . The Carriers of Walling field in Suffolck doe lodge at the Spread-eagle in Gracious-street , they come and goe on thursdayes and fridayes . The Carriers of Wallingford in Barkeshire doe lodge at the George in Breadstreet , their daies are wednesdaies , thursdaies , and fridaies . The Carriers of Winchcombe in Glocestershire doe lodge at the three Cups in Breadstreet , they come and goe on fridaies and saturdaies . The Clothiers of sundry parts of Wiltshire doe weekely come and lodge at the Saracens head in Friday-street . The Carriers of Warwick doelodge at the Bell in Friday-street they are there on thursdaies and fridaies . The Carriers of Woodstock in Oxfordshire doe lodge at the Mermaid in Carterlaine on thursdaies and fridaies . The Carriers of Wantage in Berkshire doe lodge at the Mermaid in Carterlane , their daies are thursday and friday . The Carriers of Worcester doe lodge at the Castle in Woodstreet , their daies are fridaies and saturdaies . The Carriers of Winsloe in Buckinghamshire doe lodge at the Georg neere Holbornbridge , wednesdaies , thursdaies and fridaies . The Waggon from VVatford in Middlesex doth come to the the Swan neere Holbornebridge , on thursdaies . The Carriers from Wells in Sommersetshire doe lodge at the Rose neere Holbornebridge , they come on thursdaies , and on fridaies . The Carriers from VVitney in Oxfordshire doe lodge at the signe of the Sarasinshead without Newgate , they come on Wednesdaies . Their commeth a Waggon from VVinchester every Thursday to the Swan in the Strand , and some Carriers comes thither from divers parts of Buckinghamshire , but the daies of their comming are not certaine . The Carriers of VVorcester doe lodge at the Maydenhead in Cateatenstreet , neere Guild hall , they come on thursdaies . The Carriers from many parts of Worcestershire and Warwickshire doe lodge at the Rose and Crowne in high Holborne , but they keepe no certaine daies . The Carriers of VVarwicke doe come to the Queenes head neere St. Giles in the fields , on thursdaies . The Carrier of VValsingham in Norfolke doe lodge at the Chequer in Holborne , he commeth every second thursday . The Carriers of VVendover in Buckinghamshire do lodge at the Bell in Holborne . There doth a Poste come every second thursday from Walsingham to the Bell in Holborne . The Carrier of Ware in Hartfordshire doth lodge at the Dolphin without Bishopsgate , and is there on mundaies and tuesdaies . There is a Footepost from Walsingham doth come to the Crossekeyes in Holborne every second thursday . There are Carriers from divers parts of Warwickeshire that doe come weekely to the Castle neere Smithfield barres , but their daies of comming are variable . There is a Waggon from Ware at the Vine in Bishopsgatestreet every friday and saturday . The Carriers of Wakefield in Yorkeshire doe lodge at the Beare in B●shinshaw , they do come on wednesdaies . The Carriers of Wells in Somersetshire , do lodge at the Crowne in Basing lane neere Breadstreet , they come and goe on fridaies and saturdaies . The Carriers of Wakefield and some other parts of Yorkeshire doe lodge at the Axe in Aldermanbury , they are to be had there on thursdaies . The Carriers of Wakefield and some other parts of Yorkeshire doth also lodge at the VVhitehart in Colemanstreet , they come every second thursday . Y THe Carriers of Yorke , ( with some other parts neere Yorke , within that County ) doe lodge at the signe of the Bell , or Bell salvage without Ludgate , they come every fridaie , and goe away on saturday or munday . A Footepost from Yorke doth come every second thursday to the Rose and Crowne in Saint Iohns street . For Scotland . THose that will send any letter to Edenborough , that so they may be conveyed to and fro to any parts of the Kingdome of Scotland , the Poste doth lodge at the figne of the Kings Armes ( or the Cradle ) at the upper end of Cheapside , from whence every monday , any that have occasion may send . The Innes and lodgings of the Carriers which come into the Burrough of Southwarke out of the Countries of Kent , Sussex , and Surrey . A Carrier from Reygate in Surrey doth come every thursday ( or oftner ) to the Falcon in Southwark . The Carriers of Tunbridge , of Seaveneake , of Faut and Staplehurst in Kent , doe lodge at the Katherinewheele , they doe come on thursdaies and goe away on fridaies : also on the same daies doe come thither the Carriers of Marden , and Penbree , and from VVarbleton in Sussex . On Thursdaies the Carriers of Hanckhurst and Blenchley in Kent , and from Darking and Ledderhead in Surrey doe come to the Greyhound in Southwarke . The Carriers of Teuterden and Penshurst in Kent , and the Carriers from Battell in Sussex doe lodge at the signe of the spurre in South warke , thy come on thursdaies and goe away on fridaies . To the Queenes head in Southwarke doe come on wednesdaies and thursdaies , the Carriers from Portsmouth in Hampshire , and from Chichester , Havant , Arundell , Billinghurst , Rye , Lamberhurst , and VVadhurst , in Sussex , also from Godstone , and Linvill in Surrey , they are there to be had wednesdaies , thursdaies and fridaies . The Carriers from Crambroke and Bevenden in Kent , and from Lewis , Petworth , Vckfield , and Cuckfield in Sussex , doe lodge at the Tabbard , or Talbot in Southwarke , they are there on wednesdaies , thursdaies , and fridaies . To the George in Southwarke come every thursday the Carriers from Gilford , VVanuish , Goudhurst , and Chiddington in Surrey , also thither come out of Sussex ( on the same dales weekly ) the Carriers of Battell , Sindrich , and Hastings , The Carriers from these places undernamed out of Kent , Sussex and Surrey , are every weeke to bee had on thursdaies at the White hart in the Borough of Southwarke ; namely Dover , Sandwich , Canterbury , Biddenden , Mayfield , Eden ( or Eaten Bridge ) Hebsome , VVimbleton , Godaliman , ( corruptly called Godly man ) VVitherham , Shoreham , Enfield , Horsham , Hastemoore , and from many other places , sarre and wide in the said Counties , Carriers are to be had almost daily at the said Ione , but especially on thursdaies and fridaies . The Carriers from Chiltington , VVestrum , Penborough , Slenge , Wrotham , and other parts of Kent , Sussex , and Surrey , doe lodge at the Kings head in Southwarke , they doe come on thursdayes , and they goe on fridayes . Every weeke there commeth and goeth from Tunbridge in Kent a Carrier that lodgeth at the Greene Dragon in fowle Lane in Southwarke , neere the Meale-market . Here followeth certaine directions for to find out Ships , Barkes , Hoyghs , and Passage Boats , that doe come to London , from the most parts and places by sea , within the Kings Dominions , either of England , Scotland or Ireland . AHoigh doth come from Colshester in Essex , to Smarts key , neere Billingsgate , by which goods may bee carried from London to Colchester weekly . He that will send to Ipswich in Suffolk , or Linn in Northfolke , let him goe to Dice key , and there his turne may be served . The Ships from Kingston upon Hull ( or Hull ) in Yorkeshire do come to Raphs Key , and to Porters key . At Galley key , passage for men , and Carriage for Goods may bee had from London to Barwicke . At Chesters key , shipping may be had from Ireland , from Poole from Plimouth , from Dartmouth and Weimouth . At Sabbs Docke , a Hoigh or Barke is to be had from Sandwich or Dover in Kent . A Hoigh from Rochester Margate in Kent , or Feversham and Maydston doth come to St Katherines Dock . SHipping from Scotland are to bee found at the Armitage or Hermitage below St Katherines . From Dunkirk at the custome house key . From most parts of Holland or Zealand , Pinkes or shipping may be had at the Brewhouses in St Katherines . At Lion key , twice ( almost in every 24 houres , or continually are Tydeboats , or Wherries that passe to and fro betwixt London and the townes of Deptford , Greenwich , Woolwich , Erith , and Greenhith in Kent , and also boats are to be had that every Tyde doe carry goods and passengers betwixt London and Rainam , Purfleet , and Grayes in Essex . At Billinsgate , are every Tyde to be had Barges , lighthorsmen Tiltboats and Wherries , from London to the Townes of Gravesend and Milton in Kent , or to any other place within the said bounds , and ( as weather and occasions may serve beyond , or further . Passage Boates , and Wherries that do cary Passengers and goods from London , and back again thither East or West above London Bridge . TO Bull Wharfe ( neere Queenhithe ) there doth come and goe great boats twice or thrice every weeke , which boats doe cary goods betwixt London and Kingston upon Thames , also thither doth often come a Boat from Colebrooke , which serveth those parts for such purposes . Great Boats that doe carry and Recarry Passengers and goods to and fro betwixt London and the Townes of Maydenhead , Windsor , Stanes , Chertsey , with other parts in the Counties of Surry , Barkeshire , Midlesex , and Buckingamshire , do come every Munday , and thursday to Queenhith , and they doe goe away upon tuesdayes and thusdaies . The Redding Boat is to be had at Queenhith weekly . All those that will send letters to the most parts of the habitable world , or to any parts of our King of Great Britaines Dominions , let them repaire to the Generall Post-Master Thomas Withering at his house in Sherburne Lane , neere Abchurch . FINIS . 
A13432	----	Christian admonitions against the tvvo fearefull sinnes of cursing and swearing most fit to be set vp in euery house, that the grieuousnesse of those sinnes may be both remembred, and auoyded, whereby the hatred of them may possesse the heart of euery Christian / [by] Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1630 Approx. 9 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 1 1-bit group-IV TIFF page image. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13432 STC 23741.5 ESTC S3140 33143058 ocm 33143058 28199 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13432) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 28199) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1885:59) Christian admonitions against the tvvo fearefull sinnes of cursing and swearing most fit to be set vp in euery house, that the grieuousnesse of those sinnes may be both remembred, and auoyded, whereby the hatred of them may possesse the heart of euery Christian / [by] Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1 sheet ([1] p.). By Eliz. Allde for Henry Gosson, and are to be sold at his shop vpon London Bridge, Printed at London : [ca. 1630] Date of publication from STC (2nd ed.). Reproduction of original in: Society of Antiquaries. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Swearing -- Early works to 1800. Christian life -- Early works to 1800. Broadsides -- London (England) -- 17th century. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Christian Admonitions , against the tvvo fearefull sinnes of Cursing and Swearing , most fit to be set vp in euery house , that the grieuousnesse of those sinnes may be both remembred , and auoyded , whereby the hatred of them may possesse the heart of euery Christian. Against Cursing . FIrst , ( if thou wilt liue in a holy feare and reuerence of the Name of God ) thou must consider what thou art , and learne to know thy selfe ; for hee that truely knoweth himselfe , is a man of very happy acquaintance , for by this thou shalt know thy selfe to be Earth , Gen. 2. 7. conceiu'd in sinne , Psalme 51. 5. Borne to paine , Iob , 5. 7. Euill , Eccles. 9. 3. Wretched Rom. 7. Filthy , Iob 15. Corrupt , abominable , and doing nothing good , Psal. 14. Mortall , Ro. 6. Vaine , Psal. 62. Wicked , Esay 9. Vnprofitable , Rom. 3. Vanitie , altogether more light then Vanitie , Psal. 62. Sinfull , 1 Kings , 8. Miserable , 1 Corinth . 15. Dust and Ashes , Gen. 18. Gods enemy , Rom. 8. A child of wrath , Ephesians 2. 3. A worme , Iob 25. Wormes meate , Esay 51. Nothing , yea lesse then nothing , Esay 40. 17. Hauing thus by the Touch-stone of Gods Word tryed , and examined thy miserable estate and condition , and therewithall knowing thy selfe , then on the other side , consider ( as neere as thy frailty will permit ) the power of God in creating thee , his mercy in Redeeming thee , his loue , in preseruing thee , his bounty , in keeping thee , his promise to glorifie thee in heauen , if thou honour him on earth , and his Iudgements to condemne thee , if thou blaspheme and dishonour him . Our Sauiour Christ , being the Head of Blessednesse , and of all that are or shall be blessed , how is it possible , that any Accursed or Cursing person can be a member of that Blessed Head ; who hath expressely forbidden vs to Curse , but to bless them that Curse vs ? Luke , 6. Math. 5. Rom. 12 And in the 109. Psalme , It is said of him that accustomes himselfe to Curse , Cursing was his delight , therefore shall it happen vnto him , he loued not blessing , therefore it shall be farre from him . And seeing no man can merit the least part of blessings temporall ; how , or with what face can one that liues accursedly , or vseth cursing ( here , ) hope for a Kingdome of Eternall blessednesse hereafter ? It is fearefull to heare how , and with what cold dulnesse , many men doe pray for blessings either for themselues or for others , and ( contrarily ) with what vehemency they will Curse : as some haue willed and wished themselues Gods Plague , the Pox , and other mischiefes , and some haue too often bid the Deuill take them , God Sinke them : Renounce , Confound , Consume , Refuse , and Damne them : and yet these silly gracelesse earth-wormes , haue an ambicious deceitfull ayme to be blessed , partakers of the blessed Kingdome of Heauen . Therefore , if thou hast a desire of Eternall blessednesse , know that the way thither , is not by Cursing : if thou hast a hope to escape the dreadfull sentence of , Goe yee Cursed , Math. 25. Then giue thy mind to prayer and blessing , and then shalt thou haue the ioyfull welcome of , Come ye blessed inherit the Kingdome prepared for you from the beginning of the world . To the which God of his mercy bring vs all . Amen . Against Swearing . HAuing with a Christian humilitie considered thy owne base and contemptible estate and condition , then thinke with thy selfe , what an Incomprehensible , Glorious , Infinite and Almighty Maiestie thou offendest and blasphemest with thy vngodly Swearing , who hath said , that he will not hold him guiltlesse , that takes his Name in vaine . And much better were it at the last day , for that miserable wretch , that he had beene created a Toade , a Viper , or the most loathsome creature , then to appeare before that great and dreadfull Tribunall , and there to be accused by the Deuill and his owne conscience , for Swearing and for Forswearing , and Blaspheming the blessed Name of the Eternall God , where no excuse can serue , no Aduocate can plead , no Proxey or Essoyne is to be graunted , but presently the guilty Caitif is commanded to vtter darkenesse and perpetuall torments . There is some excuse for the ignorant Iewes , that crucified our Sauiour , because they knew not what they did : but for a prosessed Christian , who knowes God to be his Creator , and that Iesus Christ paid no lesse then the peerelesse & most precious blood of his heart for mans Redemption , how can any one that knowes and beleeues these things , hope for saluation by that blood , wounds , heart and body , which he so much , and so often blasphemes and teares betwixt his accursed teeth ? So that there is no Traytor so bad , or treason so great , as is against the Maiestie of heauen , nor hath the Deuill any that doth him more pleasing seruice , then an odious and common Swearer doth , and herein he goes beyond all the Deuils in hell , in impiety and contempt of God : for Saint Iames saith , Chap. 2. 19. That the Deuils doe beleeue there is a God , and that they also tremble in feare of his mighty power ; but the Swearer , though he doe know and beleeue there is a God , yet he beleeues not his Word , or feares or trembles at his Iudgements . Besides these endlesse torments ordained in hell for odious Swearers , God hath promised to afflict them in this life : for he saith , The plague shall neuer go from the house of the Swearer , Ecclesiasticus 23. So that the gaine of a Swearer is nothing but the eternall wrath os God , the hatred of all good men , the ill example to others , and the vexation and discredit of himselfe , his kindred and friends , with a fearefull reward hereafter , ( except true repentance obtaine mercy . ) What a foolish absurditie is it for a man ( being crost in any worldly affaires , or gaming , or other businesse , either materiall or triuiall ) to reuenge himselfe vpon God , and carelesly and blasphemously fly in the face of his Maker , with Oathes and Execrations ? If we did consider what God hath done for vs , we would not so vnthankefully requite him : if wee called to minde his gracious promise of glory euerlasting , to those that loue and feare him , we should then hold his Name in such reuerence as becomes Christians : if his fearefull threatnings against the takers of his Name in vaine , could terrifie vs , ( no doubt ) but we would be more carefull and circumspect in our liues and conuersations , as that we would be allured by his mercies , or restrained by his Iudgements . GOd hath naturally placed and inclosed the tongue of man within the stone walls of his teeth , and without those walls there are also the two earthen Bulwarkes or Rampieres of his lippes : he hath appointed Reason to be the tongues guide and guardian , and hee freely offers his Grace , to be Reasons counsellour & gouernour : wherefore let vs flee to the Throne of Grace , and beseech the God of Grace , that he will cause his sauing Grace to guide our Reason , that our Reason may rule our tongues , that Cursing may be cashered , Swearing suppressed : that ( by Gods Spirit ) our lippes may be opened , that with our mouthes his Name may bepraysed : that Gods holy Name may be glorified , and our sinfull soules eternally saued , through the merits of our great and blessed Redeemer Iesus christ , To whom with the Father and the blessed Spirit , be all Honour , Power , Maiestie , Glory , Dominion , and Thankesgiuing , ascribed and rendred ( as is due ) of men and Angels , both now and for euermore . Amen , Amen . IOHN TAYLOR . Printed at London by Eliz. Allde for Henry Gosson , and are to be sold at his shop vpon London Bridge . 
A13441	----	A dog of vvar, or, The trauels of Drunkard, the famous curre of the Round-Woolstaple in Westminster His seruices in the Netherlands, and lately in France, with his home returne. By Iohn Taylor. The argument and contents of this discourse is in the next page or leafe. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1628 Approx. 19 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 24 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13441 STC 23748 ESTC S111423 99846772 99846772 11761 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13441) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 11761) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1118:12) A dog of vvar, or, The trauels of Drunkard, the famous curre of the Round-Woolstaple in Westminster His seruices in the Netherlands, and lately in France, with his home returne. By Iohn Taylor. The argument and contents of this discourse is in the next page or leafe. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [46] p. : ill. (woodcuts) Printed by I Perse I, for O perse O, and & perse &, and are to be solde at the signe of the Æ dipthong, [London] : [1628?] Mostly in verse. Dated on C5r: This storie's writ the day and yeare, that seacoales were exceeding deere. Signatures: A-C (-C8). With a half-title: A dogg of vvarre. Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Satire, English -- Early works to 1800. Dogs -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-06 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A DOGG OF VVARRE . A DOGG OF VVARRE . A Dog of VVar , OR , The Trauels of Drunkard , the famous Curre of the Round - Woolstaple in Westminster . His Seruices in the Netherlands , and lately in France , with his home Returne . By Iohn Taylor . The Argument and contents of this Discourse is in the next Page or Leafe . Printed by I Perse I , for O perse O , and & perse & , and are to be solde at the Signe of the AE dipthong . The Argument . AN honest , well-knowing and well-knowne Souldier , ( whose name for some Reasons I conceale ) dwelt lately in VVestminster ) , in the round Woolstaple , he was a man onely for Action , but such Action as Loyalty did alwayes iustifie , either for his Prince , Countrey , or their Deere and neere Freinds or Allies ; in such noble designes Hee would and did often with courage , and good Aprouement employ himselfe in the Low-Countreys , having alwaies with him a little blacke Dogg , whom hee called Drunkard ; which Curre would ( by no meanes ) euer forsake or leaue him . But lately in these French Warrs , the Dogg being in the Isle of RHEA , where his Master ( valiantly fighting ) was vnfortunately slaine , whose death was grieu'd for by as many as knew him ; and as the Corps lay dead , the poore louing Masterlesse Dogg would not forsake it , vntil an English Souldier pulld off his Masters Coate , whom the Dog followed to a Boat , by which meanes he came backe to Westminster , wher hee now remaines . Vpon whose fidelity , ( for the loue I owed his deseased Master ) I haue writ these following lines , to expresse my Adiction to the Prouerb , Loue me and loue my Hound ; I haue a little rubb'd our Gull-gallant Roarers ouer the Coxcombes , and withall I haue not forgotten our nose-wise Prescisians : If the Dogg Drunkard doe a little snap at them , I hold it their wisest way to be silent and put it vp , but if they will bee maundring , let them expect what followes . To the Reader . REader , if you expect from hence , For ouerplus of Witt or Sence , I deale with no such Traffique : Heroicks and Iambiks I , My Buskinde Muse hath layd them by , Pray be content with Saphicke . Durunkard the Dog my Patron is , And he doth loue me well for this , Whose loue I take for Guerdon ; And hee 's a Dog of Mars , his Traine . Who hath seene men and Horses slaine , The like was neuer heard on . A Dogge of VVarre . STand cleare my masters ware your shinns , For now to Barke my Muse Begins , 'T is of a Dogg I write now : Yet let me tell you for excuse , That Muse or Dogg , or Dogg or Muse , Haue no entent to Bite now . In doggrell Rimes my Lines are writt , As for a Dogg I thought it fitt . And fitting Best his Carkas , Had I beene silent as a Stoick , Or had I writt in Verse Heroick , Then had I beene a Starke Asse . Old Homer wrot of Froggs and Mice , And Rablaies wrot of Nitts and Lice , And Virgil of A Flye , One wrot the Treatise of the Foxe Another praisd the Frenchmans Pox Whose praise was but a Lye. Great Alexander had a Horse , A famous Beast of mighty force Y cleap'd Bucephalus : He was a stout and sturdy Steed , And of an ex'lent Race and Breed , But that concerns not vs. I list not write the bable praise Of Apes , or Owles , or Popinjaies . Or of the Catt Grimmalkin , But of a true and trusty Dogg , Who well could faune , but neuer cogg , His praise my Pen must walke in . And Drunkard he is falsly nam'd , For with that Vice he ne're was blam'd , For he loues not god Bacchus : The Kitchin he esteeme more deere , Then Cellers full of Wine or Beere , Which oftentimes doth wracke vs. He is no Mastiffe , huge of lim , Or Waterspaniell , that can swim , Nor Bloudhound or no Setter : No Bobtayle Tyke , or Trundle raile , Nor can he Partridge spring or Quaile , But yet he is much better . No Daynty Ladies fifting Hound , That liue's vpon our Britaine Ground No Mungrell Cur or Shogh : Should Litters , or whole Kennells dare With honest Drunkard to compare , My pen writes , marry fough . The Otter Hound , the Foxe Hound , nor The swift foote Grey hound car'd he for , Nor Cerberus Hells Bandog ; His seruice prooues them Curres and Tikes , And his renowne a terror strikes . In Water dog and Land dog ; Gainst braue Buquoy , or stout Dampiere , He durst haue bark'd withouten feare Or 'gainst the hot Count Tylly : At Bergin Laguer and Bredha , Against the Noble Spinola , He shewd himselfe not silly . He seru'd his Master at commands , In the most warlike Netherlands , In Holland , Zealand , Brabant , He to him still was true and iust , And if his fare were but a Crust , He patiently would knab on 't . He durst t' haue stood sterne Aiax frowne , When wise Vlisses talk'd him downe , In graue Diebus illis , When he by cunning prating woon The Armour , from fierce Tellamon , That longed to Achilles : Braue Drunkard , oft on Gods deere ground , Tooke such poore lodging as he found , In Towne , Feild , Campe or Cottage , His Bed but cold , his dyet thin , He oft in that poore case was in , To want both Meate and Pottage . Two rowes of Teeth for Armes he bore , Which in his mouth he alwaies wore , Which seru'd to fight and feed to : His grumbling for his Drum did passe , And barking ( lowd ) his Ordnance was , Which help'd in time of need to . His Tayle his Ensigne he did make , VVhich he would oft display , and shake , Fast in his Poope vpreared : His Powder hot , but somewhat danke , His Shot in ( sent ) most dangerous ranke , VVhich sometimes made him feared : Thus hath he long seru'd neere and farr , VVell known to be A Dog of Warr , Though he ne're shot with Musket ; Yet Cannons roare , or Culuerings , That whizzing through the VVelk in sings , He slighted as a Pusse Cat For Guns nor Drums , nor Trumpets clang , Nor hunger , cold , nor many a pang , Could make him leaue his Master : In ioy , and in aduersity In plenty , and in pouerty , He often was a Taster . Thus seru'd he on the Belgia Coast , Yet nere was heard to brag or boast , Of seruices don by him : He is no Pharisey to blow A Trumpet , his good deeds to show , T' is pitty to bely him . At last he home return'd in peace , Till warrs , and iarrs , and scarrs encrease Twixt vs , and France , in malice : Away went he and crost the Sea , With 's Master , to the Isle of Rhea , A good way beyond Callice . He was so true , so good , so kind , He scorn'd to stay at home behinde , And leaue his Master frustrate ; For which , could I like Ouid write , Or else like Virgill could endite , I would his praise illustrate . I wish my hands could neuer stirre , But I doe loue a thankefull Curre More then a Man ingratefull : And this poore Doggs fidelitie , May make a thankles Knaue descry How much that vice is hatefull . For why ? of all the faults of Men , Which they haue got from Hells black den , Ingratitude the worst is : For treasons , murthers , incests , rapes , Nor any sinne in any shapes , So bad , nor so accurst is . I hope I shall no anger gaine , If I doe write a word or twaine , How this Dogge was distressed : His Master being wounded dead , Shot , cut , and slash'd , from heele to head , Thinke how he was opressed . To lose him that he loued most , And be vpon a forreigne Coast , Where no man would Releiue him : He lick'd his Masters wounds in loue , And from his Carkas would not moue , Although the fight did grieue him . By chaunce a Soldier passing by , That did his Masters Coate espy . And quick away he tooke it ; But Drunkard followed to a Boate , To haue againe his Masters Coate , Such theft he could not brooke it . So after all his woe and wrack , To Westminster he was brought back , A poore halfe starued Creature ; And in remembrance of his cares , Vpon his back he closely weares A Mourning Coate by nature . Liue Drunkard , sober Drunkard liue , I know thou no offence wilt giue , Thou art a harmeles dumb thing ; And for thy loue I 'le freely grant , Rather then thou shouldst euer want , Each day to giue thee somthing . For thou hast got a good report , Of which ther 's many a Dog comes short , And very few Men gaine it ; Though they all dangers brauely bide , And watch , fast , fight , runne , goe and ride , Yet hardly they Attaine it . Some like Dominicall Letters goe , In Scarlet from the top to toe , Whose vallour's talke and smooke all . Who make , ( God sink'em ) their discourse , Refuse , Renounce , or Dam , that 's worse , I wish a halter Choake all . Yet all their talke is Bastinado , Strong Armado Hot Scalado , Smoaking Trinidado . Of Canuasado , Pallizado , Of the secret Ambuscado , Boasting with Brauado . If Swearing could but make a Man , Then each of these is one that can With Oathes , an Army scatter : If Oathes could conquer Fort , or Hold , Then I presume these Gallants could With Braggs , a Castle batter . Let such but thinke on Drunkards fame , And note therewith their merits blame , How both are vniuersall ; Then would such Coxcombs blush to see They by a Dog outstrip'd should be , Whose praise is worth rehersall . The times now full of danger are , And we are round ingadg'd in warre , Our Foes would faine distresse vs : Yet many a stubborne mizer knaue , Will giue no Coyne his Throat to saue , If he were stor'd like Cressus . These hidebound Varlets , worse then Turks , Top full with Faith , but no Good workes , A crew of fond Precise-men ; In factions , and in emulation , Caterpillers of a Nation , Whom few esteeme for wise men . But leauing such to mend , or end : Back to the Dogge my Verse doth bend , Whose worth , the subiect mine is : Though thou a doggs life here dost leade , Let not a doggs death strike thee dead , And make thy fatall Finis . Thou shalt be Stellifide by me , I 'le make the Dog-star wayte on thee , And in his roome I 'le seate thee : When Soll doth in his Progresse swindge , And in the Dog-daies hotly sindge , He shall not ouer heate thee . So honest Drunkard now adue , Thy praise no longer I 'le pursue , But still my loue is to thee : And when thy life is gon and spent , These Lines shall be thy Monument , And shall much seruice doe thee . I lou'd thy Master , so did all That euer knew him , great and small , And he did well deserue it : For he was honest , valient , good , And one that manhood vnderstood , And did till death preserue it . For whose sake , I 'le his Dog prefer , And at the Dogge at Westminster Shall Drunkard be a Bencher ; Where I will set a worke his chapps , Not with bare bones , or broken scapps , But Victualls from my Trencher . All those my Lines that Ill digest , Or madly doe my meaning wrest , In malice , or derision : Kinde Drunkard , preethee bite them all , And make them reele from wall to wall , With Wine , or Maults incision . I know when foes did fight or parle , Thou valiantly wouldst grin and snarle , Against an Army aduerse ; Which made me bold , with rustick Pen Stray here and there , and back agen , To blaze thy fame in mad Verse . It was no Auaritious scope , Or flattry , or the windy hope Of any fee , or stipend : For none , nor yet for all of these , But only my poore selfe to please , This mighty Volume I Pen'd . ANNO. This Storie 's writ the day and yeare , That Seacoales were exceeding deere . THus the old Prouerbe is fulfilled , A Dogge shall haue his day : And this Dogge hath not out liu'd his Reputation , but ( to the perpetuall renowne of himselfe , and good example of his owne begotten Puppies ) he hath his bright day of Fame perspicuously shining . I read in Anthony Gueuaroa his Golden Epistles , that the Great Alexander buried his Horse ; that the Emperour Augustus made a stately Monument for his Parrot : and that Heliogabalus did embaulmne and intombe his Sparrow . Happy were those Creatures in dying before their Masters : I could with all my heart haue been glad that Drunkards fortune had been the like , vpon the condition that I had payd for his Buriall . But to speake a little of the nature of Beasts , and of the seruice and fidelitie of Dogges toward their Masters : Quintus Curtius writes , that the Elephant whereon Porus the Indian King road in the Battle against Alexander , when the King was beaten downe to the ground , that the Elephant drew his Master with his Trunke out of the danger of the Fight , and so sau'd him . A Groome of the Chamber to French King Francis the first , was murdered in the Forrest of Fountein Belleau , but the said Groome had a Dogge , who afterward ( in the presence of the King & all the Court ) did teare the Murderer in peeces . Amongst the Watermen at the Black-Friers , there lately was a little Bitch that Whelped or Litter'd in the Lane vnder a bench , the Men perceiued that she had more Puppies then she could sustaine , did take three of them and cast them into the Thames , ( the water being high ) but the next day , when the water was ebd away , the Bitch went downe the staires , and found her three drowned Puppies , when presently she dig'd a deepe pit in the ground , and drew them into it one after an other , and then scrap'd the grauell vpon them and so hid them . I could produce and relate many of these examples and accidents , but they are so frequent and familiar , that almost euery man hath either known or heard of the like : But chiefely for the Dogge , he is in request aboue all Beastes , and by and from Dogges our Separatists and Amsterdamians , and our Precise dispisers of all honest and laudable Recreations may see their errors ; For of all the Creatures , there are most diuersitie in the shapes and formes of Dogges ; of all which , there are but two sorts that are vsefull for Mans profit , which two are the Mastiffe , and the little Curre , Whippet , or House-dogge ; all the rest are for pleasure and recreation ; so likewise is the Mastiffe for Beare and Bull : But the Water-spaniell , Land-spaniell , Grey-hound , Fox-hound , Buck-hound , Blood-hound , Otter-hound , Setter , Tumbler , with Shough and Dainty , my Ladies delicate Fisting hound ; all these are for pleasure , by which we may perceiue that Man is allowed lawfull and honest recreation , or else these Dogges had neuer bin made for such vses . But many pretty rediculous aspersions are cast vpon Dogges , so that it would make a Dogge laugh to heare and vnderstand them : As I haue heard a Man say , I am as hot as a Dogge , or , as cold as a Dogge ; I sweate like a Dogge , ( when indeed a Dogge neuer sweates , ) as drunke as a Dogge , he swore like a Dogge : and one told a Man once , That his Wife was not to be beleeu'd , for she wonld lye like a Dog ; marry ( quoth the other ) I would giue twelue pence to see that trick , for I haue seene a Dog to lye with his Nose in his Tayle . FINIS . 
A13436	----	The complaint of Christmas, and the teares of Twelfetyde by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1631 Approx. 64 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 20 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13436 STC 23745.5 ESTC S1017 23189711 ocm 23189711 26360 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13436) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 26360) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1782:21) The complaint of Christmas, and the teares of Twelfetyde by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [8], 26, [5] p. Printed for Iames Boler, dwelling at the signe of the Marigold in Pauls Church-yard, London : 1631. Signatures: A-E⁴. Includes: A Christmas carroll, to the tune of Poore Tom. Imperfect: stained with print show-through. Reproduction of original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Christmas. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-08 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-11 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2002-11 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE COMPLAINT OF CHRISTMAS ▪ AND THE TEARES OF TWELFETYDE . By IOHN TAYLOR . LONDON : Printed for IAMES BOLER , dwelling at the signe of the Marigold in Pauls Church-yard . 1631. To the most mighty , much vnworthy honored , and to the Right Rich-worshipped disworshipped , & to the al-to-much powerfull and respected ; the miserable Money-mongers & Mammonists , whose hatefull habitations are within the bounds of Europe or the Pales of Christendome ; Christmas sends Greeting . TAke it as you please you Almighty makers of Beggers , you prouokers of Theeues and encreasers of Vagabōds ; I , I my selfe , old Christmas ( without feare or flattery , proclaimes your base entertainment , are you all turn'd Fox-fur'd , Goldfinches Wolues , Cormorants , Caterpillers , & Curmudgeans ? Hath the diuel & the world so besotted and bewitched you , that you will wilfully spend your dayes miserably , to end your liues detestedly ? will you liue poore to dye rich ? will you empty your consciences , to fill your bagges ? and will you pinch your bellies to starue yoursoules ? Hee that should haue told mee for fiue hundred yeares ago , that Christmas and Hospitalitie should haue bin thus vnregarded and sleighted , I shold haue held him for a lying Prophet , and a false Prognosticator . Oh mad and brutish age , wherein the auarice of one is the preiudice of thousands ; when the Coach eates vp the Cart , the Backe robs the Belly , when the Perfumes , crewels , cullisses and the Castingbottle , makes a warme Chamber and a cold Kitchin ; Know you thick skin'd Hide-bound Chuffes , that you are hared of God & men , yea your owne childrē or heires ( for whom you rake and rauine ) doe inwardly curse & hate you , and know , that what most vilely you get ouer the diuels backe , your inheritours will as wickedly spend vnder his Dammes belly . What a shame it is ( if you had the grace to see it ) that you shold giue your mindes to liue vpon the vnnaturall lecherie and engendring of money , that all the meate you eate in your owne houses is the accursed spawnes of oppression , extortion , bribery , and insatiat couetousnes : and yet some of you keepe no houses at all , but pinch your owne and your families guttes at home , when at other mens boords you are tirants , where you turne the old custome backeward , and instead of keeping Christmas , you ( like droues ) make Christmas keepe you ; but take it for a warning , let me not finde it so the next yeere ; for if I do , I will send you such guests as shall neuer forsake you ; as the Dropsie , Gout , collick , the Stone , & the like kinde tokens of my iust anger , which you shall receiue as most worthy & deserued New-yeeres-guifts . Your friend or foe , as you hereafter vse him , Chritmas . To the most Right and truely honorable , to the Rightly approued and deseruinglie beloued , right Worshipfull , and to the Rest of the smal number of Liberall and Charitable Houskeepers of Christendome ; old Christmas sēds louing Commendations . YOU that are thicke sowne and thin come vp , as if the world were barren of vertue , or past breeding of Goodnesse : you that are as rare as Phenixes , as scare as black Swans or white Negroes , and as much to be held in admiration as Snow in Iuly , Strawberries in December , the Sunshine at Midnight , or a blazing Starre at Noone : I assure you my braue worthy Benefactors , that I your ancient and yeerly Guest ( Christmas , ) am heartily sorry to see your quondam number so much shrunke in the wetting ; and although you are falne into that lamentable consumption that I with my friends fauourers and followers can scarcely finde the tithe of my former entertainment : yet ( to shew my thankefull memory to your worthy predecessors , ) with my gratefulnesse to you ( too few ) that are suruiuers , and to encourage a fruitfull Spring , enease or multiplication of your successors . I send to you this my louing & friendly Epistle . You in your discetions , hold the commendable and golden meane way betwixt the two extreame Gulphs of Niggerality and prodegality , betwixt Hunger & Gluttony , betwixt Hide all & Spend all , betwixt wilful Slauery and wastefull Brauery . I wish most vnfeignedly that the dew of Heauen may descend blessedly , that you may fructifie , multiply fruitfully , encrease and ampliffe , like the tree which Nabuchadnezar drempt of , whose toppe reach'd to Heauen , and whose branches extended and stretch'd to the ends of the Earth : you haue the Celestiall Graces ; your Hope is constant , your Faith is feruent , your Charity is frequent : your Hope is in assurance of that neuer faiing possession wherein the vnblasted tree of your Faith is firmely fixed and rooted ; and your Charity is the pious fruit which springs from that faithfull Tree . And he that with his Grace doth plant it , water it , and cause it to increase , will crowne his own gifts on your heads , that are his beloued instruments ; not onely here , with blessings transitory and temporall , but hereafter with that vnspeakable glory which was , is , and shall bee permanent and Eternall . Yours in the best of friendship , Christmas . To the Profuse Sardanapallitanians , most famous Infamous Heliogabalonians , the compleat companie of Cockbrain'd whimsie-pated Gul-Gallants , the intēperate prodigals and abusiuely nick-nam'd and cald either Honorable , worshipful honest , wise , or any stile or title that hath a relish of Commendations . BRaue Sparks haue amōgst you , though Christmas be old , yet you shall perceiue that hee neither feares your Toledoes , Bilboes , or Steelettoes ; I know that each of you haue more shadow than substāce , more tongue than truth , and more haire than wit , though many of you be bald or beardlesse . You that haue Ror'd away your Land , Whor'd away your money , and Scor'd away your credits ; that with often vnnaturall going to bed at Sun-rising , and rising at supper time to breakefast , by turning the course of time out of his natural circumuolution ; as the day into night , and the night into day , like Owles , Bats , and Glowormes , are monsters against nature , that pay more for the maring of your clothes , then for the making , giuing twice as much for the cutting as for the sowing ; whose exercise is drinking and dicing , and whose grace is swearing ; who entertaine old Christmas with Gluttony and Ebriety , with the ill gotten expences of thieuery , cheating , vnthristy borrowing , vnmeasurable exhausting , vnmercifull oppressing , or any vnlawfull obtaining ; Know , all the whole kennell or litter of you , that I scorne you and your surfeiting welcome : let me perswade you to be wiser hereafter , and not to keepe mee company in such prodigall manner , that you must be forced to fare the worse all the yeere after : Let it not bee imputed to mee , that I and my company did in twelue dayes , eate vp that which shold haue lasted 365. The old Prouerb saith Enough is a feast , and as you loue to feast , so haue no more then enough , lest to much feasting perforce , doe breed and engender to much fasting spight of your teeth . Finally , Know , that I doe come euery yeere in memory of a great blessing , and I would not haue your wastefull profusenesse to turne that blessed time of Remembrance into an accursed vse of impious blasphemie , and worse then Heathenish , Paganish , Bacchanalliall Beastiallitie . So wishing euery of you to vse your best endeuours each one to mend one , I leaue you till the next yeere , in small hope to haue my request granted . No way your friend , till you mend your manners , Christmas . THE COMPLAINT OF CHRISTMAS . ABout that time of the yeare when Skiegilding , and Earth-polishing Don Phoebus had ( like a skilfull Clothworker ) stretch'd the nights vpon the longest Tenterhookes of time , and curtold the dayes to the coldest abreuiation , or a briefe coldnesse , ( an embleme of frozen charity : ) I , Christmas , according to my old custome of 1600. yeares standing , visited the world ; and like a quick Post , riding vpon the wings of full speed , in ten dayes space I haunted the most Kingdomes and Climates of the Christian world . I was in the stewing-Stoues of Russia , Muscouia , Pollonia , Sweauia , Hungaria , Austria , Bohemia , Germania , and so many other num-cold teeth-gnashing Regions , that if I should name them all , I should strike the Readers into such a shiuering , and indanger their wits and bounties with a perpetuall dead palfie or Apoplexie : In the most of these places my cheere and entertainment was Pilchards , Anchouies , Pickled-Herring , white and red dried Sprats , Neats tongues , Stock fish , hang'd Beefe , Mutton , raw Bacon , Brand-wine , ( alias Aqua vitae ) Tantablins , durty Puddings , and Flapdraggons sowsd and carowsd with Balderdash . Indeed most of their diet is so well seasoned , that the men doe naturally sweat salt , and the women doe weepe brine : and I noted that they neuer watered either their saltest fish or flesh in any other vessels than their bellies , which was an exceeding policie to vent their Mault , and a stratagem to make Saltpeeter of their Vrin. In Spain and Italy I was welcom'd in many great Dons and Magnificoes houses , with three Alphabets of sallads at one meale , but all the meat vpon fiue of their tables would scarce giue a zealous Puritan his supper on good Friday . I haue seene a hungry Signeor or Clarissimo eat a trusse of Sampheir , with his forke like a Prenge or Pitchsorke tossing it into the hay-loft of his chaps , as if his mouth had beene an Hostry : In a word , I perceiued that what either the Italian or Spaniard doth want in glu●tony and drunkennesse , he takes out his share in pride and lechery with more extortion than threescore in the hundred . So ( amongst their multiplicity of sawces ) I leaue them like sawcie companions . Being at Rome I was mightily feasted , for they thought nothing too hot , too heauy , or too deare for me : I met there with no sects of dull or cinicall Diogenasses , there was no parsimonious banquets , or Phylosophicall kinde of feasting , I found not a man that was not halfe a Doctor , and was well skild in Kitching Physicke , and they knew that roots and fountaine water would breed Crudities , therefore if they eat any , it was Potatoes , Skerrets , or Eringoes , bak'd with the lushious pulpe , p●● or linings of the marrow-bones of hee Goats , or lusty Rammes . Vitellius or Helliogabalus could not haue bid mee better welcome than those charitable minded men did : I mused at it ; but at last I considered that his holinesse with all his Cardinals and Clergie , were like Millers , and had toll out of all the kingdomes of Christendome , and that they had Mines of gold and siluer in Purgatory , ( and it is thought that the Philosophers stone is there , ) which was more safely brought into the treasury , than the King of Spaines Ships can come from the West Indies , ( for Purgatory is a Country which the Sea-sowsd pickled Hollander neuer yet discouered . ) Indeed we did out-Epicure the Epicure , and made Epicurisme seeme sobriety , both in meat , musicke , perfumes , masques , or any thing that might with delight fill the fiue senses , or cinque-ports of man. For recreation I went to visit the leane Carthusian Friers , whom I no sooner beheld , but me thought I saw so many Deaths heads , or Memento mories , a man might haue told their ribs like so many ragged laths , their looks were almost as sharp as a hatchet ; a good Anatomist might haue discerned them onely by the eye without incision : For how could it be otherwise with them , that all their whole life time feed vpon flegmaticke fish ; fish , fish , nothing but fish . Sometimes perhaps they tasted Cauiare , Potathoes , or Anchouies , which they renc'd downe with the suds of Sacke : Then they had Almond Butter , a few blew Figges , and Reisins of the Sunne to make vp a starueling meale ; but I obseru'd one thing in this Frier whom I fasted withall , he would eat no poore Iohn , or offer to catch a Ling by the Pole , but he lou'd a well growne Place exceeding well ▪ prouided , it were well buttered : he neuer would goe to bed without a Cods head , for Maids hee fed hungerly vpon them , but as for Soles hee trod them vnder his fect . Hee gaue me a dish of fish , drest ( as he said ) with the same oyle that was made of the Oliues that grew vpon Mount Oliuet the last time my great Lord and Master was there ▪ which I beleeu'd to be as true as Saint Iohn Baptist had two heads , or Saint Dennis hauing his owne head cut off , did take it vp in his hands and carry it more than a mile . I gaue my Frier the hearing , and the eating of some of his fish to boot , but I was very parsimonious and frugall of beleefe , and indeed I could not spare or affoord him any . At last I grew so bold with him , with whom I dined that day , as to aske him the reason why he and the rest of his order did neuer eat flesh ; he answered me , that it was in honour of S. Peter , because he was a fisher-man : by the same substantiall reason , I repli'd you might ( for the honor of S. Paul ) dwell in Tents , for he was a tent-maker . But there is a great mystery , or misery in it , that men should hold opinion that a man cannot go towards heauen with as good a conscience hauing the leg or wing of a Capon in his belly , as he might doe with the Cob of a red Herring . For Reuerend Sir , quoth I , you are a carnall man though you eat nothing but fish , for you must vnderstand that there is a flesh of fishes : besides , as there are beasts on the land , so there is a Sea-horse , a Sea-calfe , a Sea-oxe , and the like ; and further you know , That whatsoeuer goes into the mouth doth not defile the man : but he would not heare on that side , but praied me to feed and stop my mouth of such as the blessed Virgin and the Saints had sent him , ( indeed I heard him not talke of God at all . ) So my belly being more full of his talke than his cheere , I tooke my leaue thankfully of him , bidding him heartily farewell , which he could hardly do● hauing no better diet . In France I found a great deale more meat and lese sawce , but the most part of the Mounsiers were sawcie enough of themselues . Indeed the entertainment I had there , made me halfe amazed ; for I thought the people themselues had beene so many sacrifices to me , the men ( for the most part ) the Gallants I meane , were in the most bitterest of winter cut and slash'd and carbonadoed into Rashers , Collops , Steakes , and Spitchcocks ; that it was no more but cast a handfull of salt vpon a Gentleman , and hee was ready for the broyling . Their Pride would haue out-fac'd the cold of Caucausus ; nay , had they beene vnder the frozen Zone , they would haue shewed their linnen thorow the sippers of their sleeues , breasts and sholders , the heat of the fashion warm'd them , although their teeth chatterd in their heads . The women were well-fac'd creatures , ( but like our melancholly Gentlemen , who are in danger of a man-catching Serieant ) they seem'd afraid to shew their faces , and therefore they hid their heads in blacke bagges , like Lawyers declarations ; the difference is , that the Ladies bagge is silke , and the Lawyers Buckrum . There euery Peasant keepes his wife like a Hawke ( for they all weare Hoods ) and a paire of old English Boots will hood a brace of them from generation to generation : and I obseru'd that the miserable Country people durst not eat their o wne Beefe or Mutton ( except the tripes and offall ) for there is a penalty laid vpon them if they bring not their best to the Markets , either of Beast or Bird ; the Gallant Mounsiers haue a prerogatiue to haue all the Geese , Guls , and Woodcocks that the Country yeelds , the Buzzards , Widgeons , and Cuckooes are for the Cities diet onely , but the Partridge , Pheasant and Peacocke are Courtiers . I had almost forgotten some particularities which I obferued in Germany , for I perceiued they had beene mad Gamesters at vi'd Ruffe almost ouer all the Empire : the most of them had wrangled and played foule play , for Hypocrisie , and Cruelty cut , Ambition rubd , and Oppression wonne the game , whilest Royall and reall Vertues were meerely cheated and abused : Clubs being trump wanne the Sett by fraud and force , the Spades and Diamonds assisting them , so that the Harts onely suffered , whilest Kingdomes , Principalities , and many faire Lordships lay at stake for 't . Descending into the Low-Countries , or Netherlands , the Dutch States feasted mee in state ; and comming to Amsterdam , where there are almost as many heresies as Nations , I was indifferently bid welcome by most of the Sectaries , but I was most villainously vs'd ( rather abus'd ) by a prick-ear'd Puritan , whose beard was warp'd like greene Wainscot , or a capitall S. ( I thinke it stood as many wayes as a Sea-mans Compasse . ) Hee was a Cobler on Translater by his trade ; and comming to him I found his shop open , and he a mending of a bad or wicked soale of a zealous sisters who had often trod awry , and his brotherly function was to patch or peece her vpright ; but in sincerity I perceiued the Cobler was crafty , and wrought altogether to his owne ends . I mused at his little respect of me , because he was at worke , and telling him that I was come to dine with him , and keepe Holy-day : hee ask'd me my name , and I told him my name was Christmas . At the very name of Masse , he leap'd from me like a Squirrell , as nimbly as if he had had neither gut in his belly , or stone in his breech . And hauing recouered himselfe , hee stop'd both his eares , for feare my name the second time should strike him : hee told me that the Masse was prophane , and so were all the dayes in the yeare that ended with the word Masse , as Candle - masse , Lam - masse , Michael - masse , , Martle-masse , and that some Papist had beene my Godfather ; therefore he would haue nothing to doe with mee . It is abomination ( said he ) and the mimicke solemnizing of this hell-borne superstition was borrowed ( or stolne ) from the Heathens ; therefore there was one said well when hee called the Synagogue , or finfull Assembly , or frie of Friers at the Masse , the kingdome of Apes , for there is such mopping and mowing , such crossing and creeping , such ducking and nodding , that any reasonable man would thinke they were mad ; besides , the Priest hath more postures than six Fencers , as if he were at quarter-staffe with his Breaden god , that I am perswaded the God of heauen hold them in derision , and their Seruice to be rather masquing or mummery than Diuine ; therefore , I say , the Masse is prophane , and so art thou , therefore with me thou gett'st no entertainment . Thus was poore Christmas welcom'd like Iacke Drum and thrust out of doores ; yet I suspected his hypocriticality spake at us inuectiuely against the Masse , that he might ( with the more cunning and lesse suspect ) defend what was ill in himselfe and be held the more deuout , ( much like as one Whore or Theefe should reuile and scandall another ) for howsoeuer he prated , I thought him a Rascall , that would imploy himselfe about his trade on such a day as was celebrated in the memory of the birth of our glorious Redeemer , God and Man , Iesus Christ , which was the happiest day that mortality euer beheld : for in our Creation God shewed his power , but in our Redemption his vnspeakeable loue and mercy : therefore this day should bee kept holy in remembrance of him that is the Holy of Holiest . That day wee haue escaped any danger , we celebrate with all ioy and mirth , and shall this day bee put to prophane vses whereon our inestimable ransome was giuen vs , that on this day put on mortality to make vs immortall , that on this blessed day did put off his vnspeakable glory , and put on our insupportable misery , thereby to make vs eternally glorious ; that on this day came to conquer and confound the power of our conquerors , Sinne , Death , and Hell , and to free vs from perpetuall malediction . Saint Austin ( that blessed Lamb , and Angelicall Doctor of the Church ) did with great thankfulnes celebrate his birth-day , saying , Let vs so celebrate the day of our births , that wee may giue thankes to God who : would haue vs to be borne that wee might be consecrated to himselfe . Also Pharaoh and Herod did not omit the celebration of the dayes of their natiuities . At the birth of a young Prince the Bels doe clamour the ioy of the people , the great Ordnance doe thunder out their reioycings , the Bonefires doe manifest mens feruent affections : Why not then on this happiest day , whereon our chiefest happinesse came , this great day when the Angell of the great Counsell came to make our eternall peace betweene God and man ; oh let vs then for his sake be merry in God , and charitable to our neighbours , let vs feast with thankfulnesse , and releeue with alacrity those impouerish'd members , of whom our gloriour Redeemer is the head . But you Master Confusion the Puritan , who are a Weathercocke , Shittlecocke , a right Laodician , neither hot or cold , fit to be cast out of all good society of Christendome , or to be perpetually Amster-damnified into Holland ; your sincerity being void of verity ; your Faith vnfruitfull of good works , your Hope Innouation , your Charity Inuifible , or like a Noune Adiectiue , not to be seene , felt , heard , or vnderstood . I arriued in England the 25. of December , about one of the clocke in the morning , where I was no sooner landed , but ( as old as I was ) I cut a caper for ioy , assuring my selfe that I was now in my ancient Harbour or heauen of happinesse , in the Eden of the Earth , the Paradice of Terrestriall Peace , Plenty and Pleasure , the most fruitfull Garden of the rotundious Globe , the comfortable Canaan , that flowest with Milke and Hony. And as thou ( O England ) hast euer giuen old Christmas ( with his twelue Holy-day Seruingmen ) good entertainment , with such cheere , hospitality , and welcome , as the Christian world neuer hath done the like . So ( I obseruing the ancient Prouerbe ) where I was wont to fare well am come againe . I hauing beene foure houres wrapt in this extasie of ioy of my safe landing , at last I heard Master Chantecleere ( the nights liuing Clocke , or Cocke , and the dayes dyall ) with the care-piercing clang of his Horne-trumpet , crow out a Proclamation of the approach of Aurora ; which I was glad to heare , for poore Christmas was as cold as a Snow-ball . Day being risen out of his orientall bed ( the blacke Curtaines of the night being drawne ) I look'd vp and downe the Country to see into which house I should goe first , for I saw many faire houses which I had often beene well entertained at ; but I could perceiue no doores open no lights thorow the windowes , or smoake from the Chimnies , which made mee doubtfull where I was . My poore twelue old fellowes were halfe frozen with feare and amazement , till ( by meere fortune ) I spi'd a swarme of Beggers , who made towards vs , bidding vs very welcome , saying , they had mist vs long , acknowledging themselues beholding to vs all , but chiefly to me . Not much to me ( quoth I ) but I remember there is a Lords of the Mannours house at the end of this Village , I will goe thither , and doe you come after me , and anon I will giue you your bellies full of good cheere . So the Beggers and I parted , and I with my men went to the Lords house , where finding the gate shut , I peep'd in at the Key-hole , saw an old poore halfe-staru'd Seruingman leane against the wall , bewailing the miseries of the time present , and grieuing at the alterations of the time past , despairing of the amendment of the time to come . I was halfe afraid of him dreading that instead of better meat he would fall aboord of mee and my troope ; at last , seeing me retreat backe , he beckened to me , and watering euery word with a teare , he spake to mee as followeth : Oh Christmas , old reuerend Christmas ! whither art thou going ? What haste art thou now making to this house , where hospitality had once her habitation ; where the poore man was relieued , the stranger succoured , the traueller refresh'd , and all men bid welcome ? Why art thou making such haste now ? Now it is decayed , ruined , sunke . This house that from the Conquest hath beene famour for Hospitality , is now buried in her owne ruins . Looke round about thee , where are now those high woods that did shelter this house from the winds violence ? Now they are low enough , the woodmans axe hath humbled their proud heads . Looke into the Parks : Deere may be deare now , for there are very sew there : My young Master not long fince closed them in a Paste Pale , in a Tauerne , where they were hunted by a company of fawning flattering hounds . Looke into the Meddowes , dost thou see an Oxe there ? No , no ; they are all driuen to the Citie . Is there a Calfe or Sheepe in the Pastures ? no , they are all knockt on the head , and houe their throats cut , hauing Parchment made of their skinnes to make him bonds after hee had sold their flesh . Looke into the Garden , is there a Bee-hiue there ? no , all the honey-birds are fled , and the Waxe spent in sealing Bonds for Commodities . Looke about the Yard , there is not a Ducke , Chicken , Hen or Capon to be seene ? not a Goose to be had ? they are all pluckt , and haue pens made of their quils to set his hand to his vndoing . Looke into the Barne , there is not so many Eares to be found there as there are on a common Bailies head ; or so much Corne in the Garners as will breakfast a Chicken . O Christmas , Christmas , my old eyes are almost bloodshot with weeping at the follies of my yong Master , who iustead of making his Chymneyes smoake in the Countrey , makes his nose smoake in a Tobaceo-shop in the Citie . His Predecessours was wont to inuite his Tenants to dinner , but now he hath more neede to be inuited himselfe ; which his Quondam Tenants are not able todoe , for their new Landlord hath vsed them like Traytors , and set them on the Racke . Instead of keeping a good house in the Countrey , some blinde house in the City keepes him : Instead of keeping a kennell of hounds , he is afraid to be fed on by hounds ; hee dares not looke a Serieant in the face , for feare he should bite him by the shoulder . Instead of keeping a faire Stable of horse , hee keepes a foule Table of — Rauenous beasts that at one riotous supper will deuoure more than the Paris-Garden dogs . Instead of keeping a proper Seruing-men , he hath much adoe to keepe himselfe ; and whereas hee should walke in his owne gardens in the Country , he walks the Temple garden in the City : and last of all he thinks Milford-lane as safe a harbour for him as Milford Hauen . Oh Christmas , is it not pitty that such an ancient house as this where Hospitality , the Romans houshold God dwel●● ▪ should thus decay ? An old Vserer in the deepe whi●●epit of his ill conscience , hath deuoured my young Masters house and lands . Thus haue I vnballanced my selfe of that burthen of griefe I was laden with , if you will not beleeue me draw nigh the house ; the doore is open for this old penny-father ( whom I am forced to serue ) need feares no theeues , for they rather feare him : for if they see any thing in this house now worth carrying away , they haue better eyes than euer I had . The complaint of this poore Seruingman was but an ill breakfast for me and my company that cold morning ; yet I and my Comrades went along with him thorow the yard , which look'd much of his complexion , very leane ; and I no sooner was in the house but I fell into a swound : so that had it not beene for those that were about me I had departed ; for they gaue me hot waters , and rubb'd my temples , and at last , with much adoe , brought me to my selfe ; so that then I purposed , what sight soeuer should poyson my eyes , I would make a full suruey of all the chiefe parts of the house . The wide roome that I first set my foot in , was rather like the hole of some lothsome Iaile , than the Hall of an House : Indeed it rather was a hell where a damnable extorting Diuell dwelt with a few spirits about him . I may properly call them spirits , for they had little flesh about them . There was not so much fire in the Chimney as would broyle a Pilcher , for his Harth was as cold as my heart . The Blacke-Iacke whom euery Seruingman in the house was wont to wring by the eare , for being too sawcie with them , ( for hee often would fling them into the fire , and make them quarrell without without cause ) was cast aside in a blinde corner . This spright of the Buttery , ( that would runne foaming at the mouth vp and downe the house as being weary of trauelling ) was lamentably abused ; this leather-suited Seruingman ( whom the Butler had often pitch'd ouer the Barre ) I saw lye in a darke corner on his belly , with his mouth wide open like a Canon , as it were gaping for that full Charge hee was wont to haue in his old Master's time . Thus lay he sleeping in a hole that had made many sleepe . The Tables ( that were wont to be spread with cleane Linnen , Diaper and Damaske for the rich , and home-spunne for the poore , ) were now couered with dust , and a company of staru'd Mice and Rats , that for want of crummes were scarce able to crawle out of their nests , supplyed the places of many guests , that were wont to fill them , in the time of bounteous house-keepers . I haue knowne the time when I haue seene a Gentleman Sewer ( that Captainelike led a company of Seruingmen bare , or bare Seruingmen ) armed with full dishes of meat , and the Clerke of the Kitching , the Clerke of that stomackfull Band bringing vp the Reare , that in a quarter of an houres warning , would performe a braue peece of seruice , and spite of hunger and famine place the right worshipfull sur-loyne at the vpper end of the Table , attended by two sawcers of Vineger and Pepper , that waited on him like his Pages . I had almost forgot the stiffe-neck'd colerick Coller of Brawn , that boldly charg'd on the Front with his sprig of Rosemary on his head , instead of a white feather , like a Bride-bush : but if these stout Captaines , Brawne and burly Beefe could not take downe the stomackes of those that did assault them with their sleighted blades , instantly vpon the Reare would come whole troopes of hot souldiers , ss Capons , Hens , Lambe , Mutton and Veale to their rescue , and after them whole compani●s of wilde-fowle would come flying to their succour ; many tender-hearted Chicken haue I seene torne in peeces in these terrible conflicts , many plumpe Partriges and Quailes that could not quaile their stomacks . Often haue I seene the dogges ( that could doe more than many Knights of the Post ) fall together by the eares for bones , the well fill'd guests haue slung vnder the Tables to them . I haue seene the wide throated Vsher of the Hall , that tooke no small pride to cry Gentlemen and Yeomen to the Dresser , fill the Almes . basket with meat and bread well sopp'd with the fat of wholesome powder Beefe . I haue seene these windowes stucke full of Holly and luy ; but now the laborious Spider , that most skilfull Spinner and Weauer , that in his nets intraps the silly Flie , as artificially as the Spider-like Trades-man doth the young Gentleman , hath his Loomb-worke hanging in euery window , not fearing the house wiues Broome . Last of all , this Hall haue I seene strewed with rushes , a signe of the soft and kinde entertainment the guests should haue : I haue seene a Lord of Misrule , that with his honest mirth hath made old Christmas laugh : I haue seene Armour , Swords , and Pikes adorne this Hall , which seemed to defend and ayd Hospitality , but now there is no such Starre appeares , no such sight seene , and I feare , I am growne so old and dimme , that I shell neuer see it againe . From the Hall , I made a step into the Buttery , but the thirsty Butler could not make me drinke ; he could not entertaine me as a man would doe a dogge , which is with a crust . But the Seruingman told me , because his Master would not be thought prodigall , bought his Beere and Bread at the next Alehouse . Instead of Plate , I saw a company of old Peuterpots , which ( though they had no leakes ) very seldome did hold any Beere in them . The Bynne grew musty for want of vse , and the Chipping-knife rusty for want of exercise . The Butler was not many crums the better for all the Bread that came into the house in a weeke , for he had not so many chippins to his fees , as would breakfast a Mouse ; or so much waste Beere , as would dround a flye . As for Cards and Dice that were wont to be as good to the Butler as a ten pound Coppy-hold , the Master held prophane : for hee held the one were the Diuels Bookes , the other Witches bones ; therefore vnlawfull to be read , or followed . I was going downe into the Celler , but I thought it in vaine to descend so loe , seeing so little drinke stirring aboue . Seeing I could not quench my thirst in the Buttery , I made bold to see if I could breake my fast in the Kitchin , which had not so many Seacoles or Wood mit as would rost three ribbes of a racke of Mutton : then saw I the Master Cooke ( that now was not able to licke his owne fingers ) turne the leane spit ; so that now he was both Cooke and Scullion . The Dripping pannes and Kettles ●●apt many a scouring , which indeede was good husbandry in their owner , for too much vse would make the Kettles looke thinne , and too much scouring the Spits to sharpe . The Ouen that had wont to looke as blacke in the mouth as a Tobacco pipe , and as hot as a Maquanella that drinkes nothing but Aquavitae , was now coole enough ; hee could not now complaine of any hart-burning , or of the vnkindnesse of the Cooke that oftentimes did surfet him with filling his belly to full , and cramming him vp to the mouth with Pasties , and bak'd meats . The Dresser-boord look'd as leane as a cookes shop in the time of the forty fasting dayes . The Collericke Cooke that in times past would out of his fury scald the breakfast beggers , as they stood cutting slices of roast Beefe off from the Spit , and boyld out of the pot , now was as tame as a Water-man in a great frost , as a Player in a great plague . Hee told me that hee had not one quarter of Beefe in the Kitchin , for a quarter of a yeare together ; so that now he could not be beholding to the Butler for his Ladle of Beere , or the Butler to him for a trencher of meat : for the one was almost chok'd for want of liquor , and the other staru'd for want of meat . There was one sight did much afflict mee , and that was the Iacke , which in former times did rule the roast , and hindred many poore mens children from the warme office of turne-broches . It neuer was a bountifull time since a Dogge in the wheele , and the Iacke in the Mantle-tree began to turne the Spit ; for they began first to turne Hospitality out of doores . But the fault is in our English Brewers , that Dutch-men haue such deuices in their sconces , for if they did not tunne vp so many barrels of our Brittanian Barly-broth in their buckingtub - bellies , their Geometricall pates could neuer finde out such vncharitable Engines . Being weary of the Kitcken , I tooke Lazanello de Coquo by the fingers and bad him be of good cheere ( if hee could get any meate to his dinner ) and I went into the Larder , that was wont to looke as fat as a Tripe-wife ; but now , the coppy of that louely complexion was changed , for I haue knowne when the smell of it ( as a man past by ) would haue giuen him his breakfast , but now would not yeeld so much as would stay a mans stomacke while dinner time : It was falne much away since I saw it last , by reason of his thin dyet : so I forsooke the Larder , and went into the Dairie , As soone as I came in I saw the Boles whelm'd vpon each other backes , like so many men that lay heapt vp in one graue in a time of Pestilence : They lay on the ground as if they mourn'd for their emptinesse . The Cherme stood behinde the doore , as if it were asham'd of it selfe ; for whereas hee was wont to haue his mouth butter'd more then any Flemmings , now he was as leane as any Spaniards . The Cheese-presse , that like a Cockney loued to feede on Curds and congeal'd milke into Welchmens roastmeate , stood close against the wall , as if it had beene loath I should haue seene it : and to be plaine with you , there was not so much Cheese to be seene as would baite a Moustrap , or so much Butter as would make a toste for a Citizens sonne . There was not a timerous fearefull Custard to be seene , whose nature is to quake if your teeth doe but water at him . Thus looking into euery corner of the house beloestaires ( as narrowly as if I had beene some enquiring Constable , and had warrant for the search ) but finding no such thing as I expected , vp staires went I and all my sorrowfull associates , and looking into a withdrawing-Chamber I saw the old Mammon himselfe sitting ouer a few Cinders to warme his gowtie tooes , for no other part did neede the comfort of a fire , for from head to foot , he was furr'd like a Muscouite . Instead of a Bible he had a Bond in his hand , which hee was diligently perusing to see if it were forfeit or no : his face very seldome did looke vpward , for his dull melancholy eyes was most commonly fix'd on the earth , as if he were looking out for a Myne : He kept his keyes continually tack'd at his girdie , one hand alwayes on them , as if he feard they would runne from him and vnlocke his Chest for those that would doe more good with his bagges , than he himselfe euer had . He was like the Poets Euclio that feard euery man that did but looke towards his house , came to rob it : for he no sooner cast his Ospray eyes on me and my company , but hee cried , Theeues , Theeues , as lowd as his hoarse throat could creake it out , brauing his poore seruants , telling them they had let in fellowes to rob him : so to stop this Hell-hounds mouth , I spake to him as followeth . Sir , feare not , there are none here that intend to hurt you : if you catch any it must be your selfe that must doe it to your selfe , and not we . My name is Christmas , these gray hair'd men that are with me , are men of my neere and deere acquaintance , these poore men in their patch'd cloaks , poore people that wish well to me : all true men , though poore men ; and we come to you for a few daies , hoping of a free entertainment : if it is not your pleasure to welcome vs as your Guests , it is not our part to force it . This old Penny-father look'd as sowre on me , as if I had brought him a Priuy-Seale to borrow money of him , or a Subpaena out of the Exchequer for extortion : and in briefe told me , that I was an imposture , and onely came to entice the people to prodigality and expence : and as for the poore , he had nothing to doe with them , for he was poore himselfe . Poore your selfe , said I , 't is true ; for how can you be rich , that neuer thinke you haue enough . In this you shew your selfe most vnnaturall , for Nature is content with a little , but you with neuer so much . Therefore couetous rich men may well bee called the sonnes of the Earth because they hunt after nothing but earth . What need you be couetous ? Hath not God giuen you himselfe , what need you haue any more ? If God cannot suffice you , what can satisfie you ? As for externall riches they are more fugitiue than Chymists Quicksiluer , or the most notorious Vagabond . He inherits nothing that loseth Christ , hee loseth nothing that possesseth Christ. Will you possesse him , let the poore possesse some of your wealth ? Wilt thou lose nothing , then put it to a spirituall interest , let the poore borrow some of thee ? Here on earth thou hast but eight for a hundred , which is most finfull vse ; but with the poore thou shalt haue a hundred for eight , which is a most heauenly interest . He that doth bestow his beneuolence on the poore , doth not lose , but get ; and by scattering his bread on the waters , doth gather and increase . By keeping them you doe not possesse them , or by dispersing them , lose them . Gold and siluer are good , not that they can make you good , but that you may doe good . How can money be better lent than to the poore , for my Lord and Master will be bound to see it payd in againe but he is a surety few Vserers will take . What is gold , but yellow rubbish ? What is siluer , but white drosse ? and nothing makes them precious but couetousnesse . Gold is a matter of labour , his perill that doth possesse it : It is an ill master , a worse seruant . Bee not a slaue then to your estate , but entertaine mee with some part of it , releeue those that follow me , couer your boords and load them with well-fild dishes ▪ so shall you crowne your selfe with all our blessings . My Oratory would doe no good , my Physicke would not worke ; blessings he regarded as much as a true Protestant will the Anathema of the holy Father the Pope ▪ for without any verball answer hee thrust mee and my company out of doores without saying Farewell . Thus was poore Christmas vsed , which made me and my consorts looke very blanke vpon the matter : so we wandred vp and downe from house to house but found little comfort . Some would onely smile on me , another aske me how I did , and giue me a cup of small Beere and a crust , and so farewell : a fourth , that laid all on his backe , would not looke on me ; so away went wee still iogging on . At last I cast vp my dimme eyes , and I saw a house where for foure or fiue yeares together I had not beene bountifully , but profusely entertained , for the Master of it did almost surfeit me euery meale : A way went we thither , and comming to the gate , the grumbling Seruingman ( that opened his mouth wider than a trap doore ) told me , there was no entertainment for me , but began to raile at me , and said , that his Master was the worse for me by a thousand pound a yeare , therefore bid me be gone , for he had warrant from his Master to locke me , out of doores ; telling mee moreouer , if I would speake with his master I must to London , for he was soiourning there , not intending to returne while the Parliament was ended . Well , thought I , it were good if the Proclamation that summons all Country-Gentlemen to returne into the Countrey , would ●ake hold of him and many others that lye lurking there because they would not be troubled in the Country with their poore nieghbours . As for thy Master , that spent more in three or foure yeare , than hee is able to get together againe in threescore , I did not entice to that expence . Can I helpe his riot and excesse ? I desire to vndoe no man. I loue to see men bountifull , not prodigall : I neuer enticed him to luxury ; I thought what would become of his prodigality . He was prodigall because hee would be accounted a good house-keeper . A good house-keeper ? Oh simplicity ▪ that for keeping three or foure prodigall and fulsome feasts he should make himselfe a begger for euer after . I thinke indeed now that a good house is abler to keepe him , than he a good house . No , no , they are the meanes that blesse , no man can liue without them , though few haue them . What cause had your Master to feast all the richest in the Country , and at one sumptuous and sinfull supper , to consume more than would releeue a Parish of poore folks a quarter ? Is this charity ? No , no. But I thinke your Master doth scarce know where he may reade this . His fulsome , gluttonous , and Bacchanalian Feasts , did presage of fasts . It grieved mee first to foresee it , now to know it . Is it charity to lard and grease the fat Country Bores , I meane the rich chuffes that haue enough in their Barnes to releeue themselues and their poore neighbours ? This kils , not cures charity . Gluttonous Feasts cost much , doe little good , much hurt . They mingle Earth , Heauen , Sea , and Fire in their bellies at one sitting . What Fowle soeuer flies in the Aire , what Beast soeuer treads on the Earth , what Fish soeuer swimmes in the Sea , and what strange drinkes , Wines , and strong Waters soeuer , ( that are of fiery natures ) we barrall vp in our bellies at one dinner or supper : So that the confusion of these Elements cannot choose but beget diuers tempests in vs , which like earthquakes continually shake our bodies by the arising of hot and fiery vapours from our stomackes . So that if Nature could finde her tongue now , as in the dayes of Ouid , shee would complaine once more to Ioue of her wrongs : for is it not against Nature to see fishes that should swimme in the Seas , first swimme in wine vinegar , then in wine , being so scorcht , carbonadoed , sows'd , and so martyred , that when it comes to the Table , a man cannot iudge whether it be fish or flesh ? Then to haue another dish brought to the boord couer'd ouer with an inundation of Vinegar , Oyle , and Pepper ? Is it not against Nature to haue pounds of Butter rosted , whose Cooking with white-bread , Cinamond and Sugar will cost more than halfe a dozen Milch Kine will yeeld in a weeke ? Is it not against Nature to haue Mutton larded with Ambergreece , and breaded with Ciuet ? To haue Birds come to the Table lim'd to the dish with viscous and clammy sawces , faster than they were before in the Fowlers lime-twigs ? And to haue many of these inuented and made dishes come to a Table , doe you thinke it would not make Nature complaine ? Yes , yes ; for all this doth no good to Charity . And it is no wonder , as the Philosopher faith , why so suddenly we dye , seeing we liue by Deathe . Some will out-Epicure Geta the Emperour , that had his Table furnish'd with dishes according to the Alphabet : some againe almost as gluttonous as Theocritus Chius , that hauing deuoured at one bit , a liue fish , said that hee had swallowed heauen : To whom one answered , that he wanted one thing , which was to drinke off the Sea at a draught ; now if hee had but remembred to bid him eat the earth instead of bread , he had made a pretty meale of it . Alas , alas , this luxuriousnesse kils as many as Physicke . Let Christmas be at a feast where is good store of good cheere , but not too dainty or costly , but such as a mans owne yard or pasture affords : where the Tables are fill'd with guests , not rich , but poore : not so few as the Graces , that are onely three ; or no more than the Muses , nine ; for a feast ought to be absolute for all commers . I am of his minde , for if I haue a moderate preparation of meat and drinke , honest mirth , good welcome , and a cup of good Wine or Beere ; I care not for set Suppers , high Musicke , complementall Cringies . No , no , if your master had but began thus moderately , he need not now to haue taken the City ouer his head to hide himselfe from me . But he is not the first that hath done so , ( though that bee no excuse for him ) I would he might be the last , for I and my followers fare the worse for him and such profuse Prodigals . So away went I and my traine , hauing little comfort yet as you may perceiue , but as wee were walking and talking of our bad fortune , wee might perceiue a plaine Country man come towards vs : hee had high-shooes on that look'd as blacke as a Bullice , white stockings made of the wooll of his owne Sheepe , gray Trunke-hose , with all accoutriments belonging to this Country plainenesse : As soone as hee came somewhat nigh mee , he began to salute mee and bid mee welcome into the Country , telling me if it pleased me I should be welcome to his house : So without many circumstances I tooke his proffer , and with my ( now ) merry mates went toward his Farme , which was not farre off . As soone as we came into the yard ( well stored with Poultrey ) the Farmer himselfe shooke me by the hand , and bid all the rest welcome . The Dame of the house drest vp in her home-spunne Gowne , came to meet me ; the Maid-seruants reioyced to see mee , and the Plow-mens hearts leap'd in their straw-colour'd letherd Doublets for ioy of my approach . Then with all Country solemnity I was had into the Parlour and set downe by a good fire . I was presented with a cup of browne Ale , seasoned with Sinamon , Nutmegs , and Sugar . When dinner was ready , I was set at the vpper end of the Table , my owne company set round about me , and the rest eat with the seruants . We had Brawne of their owne feeding , Beefe of their owne killing ; wee had braue plum broth in bole-dishes of a quart . The White-loafe ranne vp and downe the Table , like a Bowle in an Alley , euery man might haue a fling at him : the March Beere march'd vp and downe , and wee were all merry without the helpe of any Musicians . We had good cheere , and good welcome which was worth all : for the Good-man of the house did not looke with a sower or stoicall brow , but was full of mirth and alacrity , so that it made the house merry . A , ha , quoth I , this is something like , our dinner is better than our breakfast , this is as Christmas would haue it , here is neither too delicate cheere , which doth cost much , or will cause surfeits , or too little or meane , but such as will kill hunger . They are the best feasts where the poore are releeued , the rich are able to helpe themselues . Dinner being done , Grace being said , the Cloth taken away , the poore refresh'd , wee went to the fire : before which , lay store of Apples piping hot , expecting a bole of Ale to coole themselues in . Euening Prayer drew nigh , so we all repaired to Church , where I heard my selfe much spoken of , but after Seruice was done , few respected me : some indeed , inuited me to their houses , but I thought my entertainment would not bee worth my labour , considering my company : so went I home againe with my honest Hobnaile-wearer , with whom I past the time away in discourse while supper , which being ended , wee went to Cards . Some sung Carrols , merry songs , some againe to waste the long nights , would tell Winter-tales . At last came in a company of Maids with Wassell , Wassell , iolly Wassell : I tasted of their Cakes , and sup'd of their Bole : and for my sake , the White-loafe and Cheese were set before them , with Minee-Pies , and other meat . These being gone , the iolly youths and plaine dealing Plow-swaines , being weary of Cards , fell to dancing ; from dancing to shew mee some Gambols . Some ventured the breaking of their shinnes to make mee sport , some the scalding of their lippes to catch at Apples tyed at the end of a sticke , hauing a lighted candle at the other ; some shod the wilde Mare ; some at hotcockles , and the like . These Country reuels expiring with the night , early in the morning we all tooke our leaue of them , being loth to be too troublesome ; and rendring them vnfained thanks for our good cheere ( who still desired that we would stay with them a little longer ) wee instantly trauelled towards the City . Being entred into it , we saw very few look with a smiling countenance on vs , but a few Prentices or Iourneymen that were trick'd vp in their Holliday cloathes ; but we coniectured their Masters were not vp , or else wee could not goe so farre vnbidden . At last the Bels began to ring , euery house-holder began to bestirre himselfe , the Maid-seruants wee saw run hurrying to the Cookes shops with Pies , and the Iacks went as nimbly as any of the wiues tongues : and before we were aware , whole Parishes of people came to inuite vs to dinner : Some tooke me by the hands and would haue me his guest , another tooke Saint Stephen ; a third , Saint Iohn ; a fourth , Childermasse ; but New-yeares day was welcome to them all , especially to the rich ; but all this while the poore was not look'd on , they were not inuited : It grieued me , as it did them ( poore soules ) and I spake as much as I could for them ; but I was answered , the Parish had taken order for the poore already , and that their houses were onely for their friends , and not Beggers ; and for my part , if I would stay with them for a weeke or so , I should bee as welcome to them as any of their rich neighbours . Alas , alas , said I , is Charity as well as Conscience banish'd out of your freedome ? How can you make me truly welcome , except the poore feed with me ? It doth me more good to see a prisoner releas'd , and the poore man relieued , than taste of your daintiest meat . Yet I will confesse I haue scene many famous and memorable deeds done by well-disposed Citizens ; the Hospitals and other charitable houses can witnesse it , and that some in these daies follow the foot-steps of their predecessors ; but the present compared to those past , are no more in comparison than the least Starre to the Sunne , or a Gloworme to a Starre . Charity in those times was in her youth , in her prime , in her perfect ripenesse ; now shee is old , decrepit , and lame : for she is seldome seene walking in the streets , shee is now onely an Vmbra , a Shadow , a Ghost : her substance is vanish'd ; nay , shee is dead : And will you know when shee died ? I will tell you , When Prodigality , Drunkennesse , and Excesse began to liue , then she died ; their generation was her destruction . When Prodigality spent as much one day as would keepe her a moneth ; when Pride wore as many cloathes on her backe as would cloath an Hospitall of fatherlesse children ; when Drunkennesse swallowed , in the whirlepoole of his belly , more drinke at one draught than would quench the thirsts of many poore children ; when Gluttony spent more at one meale than would content many hungry Lazars ; when Farmers began to make their sonnes Gentlemen , and young Gentlemen began to be deuoured by Vsurers : then , then , Charity lay on her sicke-bed , nay , on her death-bed . Will you know when she was in her perfect health ? I will tell you . When Gentlemen did not know what a yard of Sattin , Veluet , Cloth of Gold , or Tissue is worth ; when gold and siluer lace were not seen in Cheap-side ; when BeuerHats , blew , red , yellow , and greene Starch were not worne ; when Lords went in good Cloth , and their Seruingmen in good Frize , or Stuffe ; when the Gentry did not know what did belong to Tobacco , Anchouies , Chauiare , and Pickled-Oysters ; when such walking-Spirits as Foot-boyes and Pages went inuisible ; when we went not hurrying along the streets in their French Carts , as fast as if the Diuell had beene the Coach-man : then , then . Charity was well , was in health , and look'd cheerefully . The Roman Catholikes boast they haue Charity liuing with them ( which they reuerence as much as they doe their Saints ) by which , with the helpe of good works they hope to merite . Alas , alas , they are deceiued , their Charity will doe them little good , except they haue the helpe of her elder sister , Faith. Therefore I thinke it not amisse , if the Romanists would borrow some of our Faith for some of their Charity and good deeds , for wee wnnt one , as much as they doe the other . But I beginne to bee weary with talking thus to no purpose : Therefore England , beautifull , fruitfull , and yet blessed Land , take heed lest thy Gluttony , Pride , and Excesse , Couetousnesse , Bribery , and Extortion , haue that Adamantine force to pull downe Heauens Iudgements on thee as they did on Sodome . Thou art as sumptuous as that City was , be not thou so sinfull . Before it was burnt it was compared to a Garden , nay , to a Paradise for the neat and pleasant scituation , and the happy plentifulnesse of all things : But now it is a place destitute of water and fruit ; onely , there are such growing , that onely delight the eye , but deride the touch and taste : for on those stinking and burnt bankes , grow Apples , that being toucht fall in dust . Thou maist be so , thou wilt be so , except some of thy fulnesse haue vent toward the poore . Thou art such a fortunate Iland , that Histrographers write of , blest with an excellent temperature of Ayre , and singular Clemencie of Heauen : where about March , the Spring begins to cloath the earth in a Summer liuery . Heauen is bountifull and patient , bee thou penitent and thankfull . But as I was going forward with my Admonition , they stop'd my mouth by their entreating me to be their guest for three or foure daies : so for such a small quantity of time , I bestowed my selfe among them . But I was the most royallest , noblest , and worthiliest entertained at Court , Innes of Court and Temples , where I was resident while Candlemas , and then left this Land. FINIS . A Christmas CARROLL , To the tune of Poore TOM . REioyce , reioyce , this day is come Saluation vnto Christendome : All that will heare their blest Redeemers voyce , Let them all with mirth reioyce , reioyce . The Sauiour of the world is borne , To ransome vs that were forlorne : He left the Heauens , and came to vs on earth , And from a blessed Virgins wombe had birth . Here a mighty mystery well was wrought , whose depth no man can gather ; A Mayden-mother pure , a Sonne forth brought , and no man was the father : God aboue , with peace and loue , The sinfull world possessed With heauenly treasure , past all measure , Who is euer blessed . He this day to Grace a feast , sent his Sonne to be a Guest : Let vs then , like thankfull men giue entertainment to him : And let vs still with heart and will , our best of seruice doe him : Himselfe for vs he hath giuen , to draw vs from earth to heauen . Therefore for all his paine , let 's giue him our selues againe . TO wipe away our sinnes great summes , Gods Sonne and heire in person comes ; He left his glorious and Immortall throne , and vnderneath his Fathers curse did groane : Downe from the heauens to the earth he came , to honour vs he tooke our shame ; He suffer'd death that we might liue thereby , and through his merits reigne eternally . Seeing he hath with his precious blood wash'd cleare our foule offences , How can we render any thing that may be recompences , Since we may not any way giue any thing worth taking ; Or all that can be done by man , no satisfaction making : Let vs doe as Dauid sayes , giue him honour , laud and praise . Let Christmas day put vs in minde , that Christ was borne this day : Let 's entertaine him here , that we may entertaine him aye . That we all with one heart and desire , amidst the Celestiall Quire All honour and praise may sing , to Christ our heauenly King. FINIS . A CATALOGVE OF ALL M r IOHN TAYLORS seuerall Bookes , Printed together in one Volumne in Folio . TAylors Vrania . The first part of the troubles and destructions of Ierusalem . The second part and finall destruction of Ierusalem by Titus and Vespasian . The life and death of the most blessed amongst women , the Virgin Mary , the mother of our Lord Iesus Christ. Superbiae flagellum , or the Whip of Pride . Against cursing and swearing . The fearefull Summer . The Trauels of tweluepence . The Armado , or Nauy of Ships that saile as well by land as by sea . The Begger , or the praise of Beggers beggery & begging . Taylors Goose. Iacke a Lent. Taylors pennilesse Pilgrimage , or Iourney ( without money ) from London to Edenborough in Scotland , and backe to London . The Acts and exploits of Wood the great Eater in Kent . Sir Gregory Nonsence ▪ A very merry Wherry voyage from London to Yorke with a paire of Oares . A new Difcouery , ( by sea ) with a Wherry , from London to Salisbury . A Kicksie winsie , or a Lerry cum Twang . Taylors Motto . An Epicedium or mournfull death-song for Coriats supposed drowning . The eighth Wonder of the world , or Coriats reuiuing . Laugh and be fat . Coriats Newes and Letter with the Authors paraphasing verses . A Bawd very modest . A Whore very honest . A Theese very true . A Hangman very necessary . The vnnaturall Father . Taylors Reuenge against Fenner . Fenners Defence . A Caft ouer the water to Fenner . The Water-mans suite concerning Players . Wit and mirth . A Dogge of Warre . The World runs on wheeles . The nipping or snipping of abuses . A briefe of the Chronicle from Brute to this present in Verse . A briefe of the Chronicle from the Norman Conquest to this present . A Farewell to the Towre bottles . The Marriage of the Princesse Elizabeth . A funerall Elegy for King Iames. A funerall Elegie for the Earle of Nottingham . A funerall Elegie for the Earle of Holdernesse . A funerall Elegie for the Bishop of Winchester . A funerall Elegie for the Duke of Richmond and Lenox . A funerall Elegie for Iohn Moray Esquire . These Bookes in number sixty three are heere , Bound in one Volume , scattred here and there : They stand not thus in order in the booke , But any man may finde them that will looke . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13436-e600 Corin. 15. An old Seruingmans complaint to Christmas . Note . Christmas survey thorowout the house . The Hall. The Iacke . The Tables . Mince-pies were quite forgot , also plum-broth Buttery . Kitchen . The Iacke on the Mantletree . Larder . Dairie . The discription of the Vserer . Christmas to the Curmudgion . Note . Anagram . Pecunia cui pena A Farmer . When Charity began to sicken . When in her prime . 
A13429	----	Bull, beare, and horse, cut, curtaile, and longtaile. VVith tales, and tales of buls, clenches, and flashes. As also here and there a touch of our beare-garden-sport; with the second part of the merry conceits of wit and mirth. Together with the names of all the bulls and beares Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1638 Approx. 72 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 36 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-10 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13429 STC 23739 ESTC S120272 99855471 99855471 20966 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13429) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 20966) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1118:11) Bull, beare, and horse, cut, curtaile, and longtaile. VVith tales, and tales of buls, clenches, and flashes. As also here and there a touch of our beare-garden-sport; with the second part of the merry conceits of wit and mirth. Together with the names of all the bulls and beares Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [70] p. Printed by M. Parsons, for Henry Gosson, and are to be sold at his shop on London Bridge, London : 1638. Partly in verse. Dedication signed: Iohn Taylor. Signatures: A-D E⁴ (-A1). Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 Sean Norton Sampled and proofread 2005-03 Melanie Sanders Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-04 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Bull , Beare , and Horse , Cut , Curtaile , and Longtaile . VVith Tales , and Tales of Buls , Clenches , and Flashes . Is also here and there a touch of our Beare-Garden-sport ; with the second part of the Merry conceits of Wit and Mirth . Together with the Names of all the Bulls and Beares . LONDON , Printed by M. Parsons , for Henry Gosson , and are to be sold at his shop on London Bridge . 1638. This Dedication is directed , to his well-Affected and much Respected , his often Approved , and truly beloved , Mr. Thomas Godfrey , Keeper of the Game for Beares , Bulls , and Dogges . KInd friend , I am sure you can defend me from being bitten with your Beares , though not from being back-bitten by Envie ; you can stave me , and save me , from the Goring of your Bulls , but there are too many heards of other Horned Beasts to But at my Inventions , and tosse my harmlesse meaning , as their empty Iudgements , and Witlesse fancies are enclin'd ; howsoever I am resolv'd to love you , and not to Respect them I am glad that you can say that an excessive time of charge is past with you , and I hope for better dayes and times . I have touched here and there merrily upon the Game , but so farre from offence , that I doe expect that it will be pleasing both to the Wise , and to the Indifferent Readers . And mee thinkes very fools should not be angry with it , for I have thrust in a great many Bables to please them to If any thing doe seeme distastefull in it , my Comfort is , that a Wise man will not set his Wit to mine , and be offended but if a Foole be angry , then I will not set my Wit to his , and take exceptions . And thus with my best wishes to you and yours , I remaine a poore friend to you and yours , Iohn Taylor . Bull , Beare , and Horse , Cuts , Curtols , and Longtailes . COncerning Buls , sure no man is so Dull , Orignorant but that he knowes a Bull : There are more sorts of Bulls then Beares by ods , For lupiter , ( the chiefe of Heathen gods ) Into a Bull , was pleas'd himselfe to Shape , When on Europa he committed Rape : And to a Bull , he turn'd his forme divine When he ( on Ceres ) got faire Proserpine . Taurus ( the Bull ) is if you wisely Note A Signe Caelestiall for the Necke and Throat , If any doubt of it , let them but go And buy an Almanacke , hee 'le finde it so . Pasipha Queene of Creet , ( a Royall Trull ) Was monstrously enamour'd of a Bull : 'Twixt whom the Monster Minotaure was got , As in th eighth Booke of Ovid it was wrot . But sure the stories truth is better fram'd , That sayes there was a man there ( Taurus nam'd ) Who was beloved of the lustfull Queene , And had with her too oft familiar beene . 'T is said Semir amis ( King Ninus Mother ) Did love a Bull , which is as true as 'tother , When as Just Minos , ( Creets victorious King ) The Megarans did to 's subjection bring , For which to Iove a feast he solemniz'd , Wherein a hundred Buls were sacrific'd . The Brazen Bull of Ph●…llaris the Tyrant , Was such a Beast , as made the World admire on 't , In which men Roasted , were to death Tormented , And he first suffred in 't that it Invented . There dwels a man at Rome , that Buls can make , To make seduced Kings , and Kingdomes Quake , Which Buls ( though Lead ) ( O wondrous to behold Are quickly Metamorphos'd into Gold. There 's the Philosophers Admired Jemme , ( That long sought Jewell , worth a Diademe ) That hard , hard stone , which many men have sought And all they found , they found themselves worth nought ; The Castle Angello , doth it Immure And there turnes drossy Lead , to Gold most pure . There are Bulbeggers , which fright Children much , There are Bull Taverns , that mens Wits will tutch ; And further ( for the Buls Renowne and fame ) We had an ex'lent Hangman of that name . Suppose a man 's match'd with a beauteous Wife , Who with an ugly Dwarfe defiles her life , To please her husband , she can fiddle , faddle , Whilst oftentimes a Monkey fits his Saddle , A man may say , that he most basely is Bull'd with an Vrchin , through his Wifes Amisse . And now of late a Bull 's a Common Creature , For men ( with nonsence ) do speak Bull 's by Nature , From East to West , from North unto the South , Bull 's are produc'd each houre , by Word of Mouth . Which every day are brought unto the Printer , Faster then Mother Puddings made her Winter . To the decay of many a Tallow Taper , And the consuming many a Reame of Paper , Soft Mault doth make sweet Fire , the Proverb sayes , Or else the Bull sayes so , you see which wayes . If men would use to Leape before they Looke , Bulls should not thus be thrust in many a Booke , For though Care may be Kill'd with any Cat , You are not sure the Fire is in the Fat , Fooles faine ( say they ) do often make faire Words , Yet some may Catch the Bush some beat the Birds . But Better comes the seldome , I desire For My Kill set the Peck of Mault on fire . This any man may to him selfe apply That When the Larks fall , we may catch the skie . But if my Judgement do me not deceive I do esteeme it better lacke then leave . Though Brawne and Bacon breeds from Bores and Hoggs , Yet hungry Puddings Will eat dirty Doggs . And sure a man had better bide away , Then come to late , A Faire after the Day . If such a one speed well , it is as rare , As t is To catch a Taber with a Hare . Which is as certaine as blind Fortunes Wheele , Or hold fast Like a wet Taile by the Eele . Let every man a true decorum keepe , Because t is ill , A waking Dogge to sleepe . And t is a Proverb throughout Christendome , That never One day was not built in Rome . If great men give me nothing , I say plaine , I le hurle as much as that at them againe . He that stickes downe a Goose , and steales a Feather , Doth ( by that match ) not save , or profit neither . Along Corne for short harvest men may see , Like tedious woeing for a scornefull shee . T is folly for a man to fall at strife With Women , who hath nine Cats like a life ; For when the Gray-Horse is the better Mare , A Blinde man may be taken with a Hare . Spet in your hold , take better hands I say , We may be heere to Morrow , and gone to day . The man that angrie is without amends , T is fit ( without a canse he be made friends : ) For though men know their Cattel by their marks The greatest men are not the wisest Clarkes . I purpose no mans credit to defame , But He that is balfe hang'd , bath no good name . Though all these Rimes are scarcely worth a Token The Water to the Pott goes till t is broken . Who cuts their fingers must abide them bleed . And when Geese preach , then let thr Fox take heede . T is hard to make me thinke , or late , or soone , That ever Greene Cheese was made of the Moone . Nor is it fit ( as I doe understand ) To put a mad Sword in a nak'd mans hand . A man may be a Drunkard or a Leacher , And yet mend as the Bolt doth mend the Fletcher . Or as the sowre Ale mends the Sommer , so A man ( mistooke ) may make his friend , his foe . For all this , 't is not fitting to be book'd , How once olde Lincolne ore the Devill look'd . The Ancient Proverb still doth stand in force , Some better may looke one then steale a Horse . It may be some will not these lines allow , But then they take a wrong Eare by the Sow . T was never yet a question in the Law , To stumble at a Blocke , leape ore a straw . But any man of simple wit may finde , That all this Corne hath shaken downe no Winde . He that will wrangle for an Egge that 's Addle , Although he lose the Horse , may winne the Saddle . And thus my Muse , most lowly elevated , These English Proverbs hath to Bulls tranflated . More worthy , and Remarkeable observations of the Bull. AS is before Repeated in my lines , Taurus ( the Bull ) ' mongst the Celestial Signes ; So Taurus is a Mountaine , whose high Top Doth seeme to scale the Skies , and underprop The Bull that 's stellified ; That Hill doth Bound All Asia on the North , about it round Is many a Kingdome and large Continent , Which shewes the Bull is mighty in extent . A Bull 's a Beast of State and Reputation , For he that eats Bull Beefe , ( by approbation ) With eating such strong meate , I do assure ye 'T will puffe him up , and make him swell with fury . If any man will but himselfe examine , Hee le find a Bull , a Buckler against famine , A Bull 's a happy Creature , whence proceeds Most of the food , whereon most people feeds : He , and his sweet hearts ( most beloved Kine ) Yeelds thousands where with all to suppe and dine . The Calves , ( his sonnes and daughters ) plenteously With young and tender Veale , our wants supply . And from the Bull'd Cow , ( in perpetuall motion ) Milke flowes amongst us daily like a Ocean , Sweet Creame , and Cockney Curds they yeeld each day , And ( for the poor ) Whig , Buttermilk and Whay , Cheese Raw , or Toasted , or to Bait Mouse-traps , And Butter , to annoint the Flemmings Chaps , The Milk-Pans do allow , like bounteous Pooles , Meanes to make Cheese-cakes , Custards , Flawns , and Fools , And at the Milk-pale , I have seene and heard Good Sullabubs , have been both made and mard . It is the Bull 's Conjunction with the Cow ( With blest encrease ) that doth these things allow . Without the Bull we should be so unstor'd , The Kingdome could not yeeld a Posset Curd . Know then by this ( good Reader ) what a Bull is , And he that will not know it , but a Gull is . The One ( the Buls strong Eunuch son ) is Chiefe Of Mortall meats , ( man-feeding vigorous Beefe ) And who so will amongst the Butchers seeke In London , and in Westminster each weeke , With those two Cities Bounds , and Liberties , With Countrey Butchers , and the great supplies That Market folkes do to those parts Impart ( The Load of many a Horse , and many a Cart ) The Beeves thus slaine , and eaten would appeare Above 3000 , each weeke through the yeere . Chines , Surloyns , Flanks , Clods , Legs , doth fill us full , Brisket and Marrow-bones comes from the Bull ; A Neats-tongue dri'd is deere , a Dish of State , At Stilliard any man may know the Rate . * With many more things which I le not Recite , 'T would trouble men to Read , and I to write . Thus do the Butchers Thriue , the Grasiers Gaine , The Cooks and Victualers , do their states maintain , Sowse-wives grow plump and fat , and 't is because Their sale is quicke for Muggets Paunches , Mawes , Tripes , Reads , Neatsfeet , Cowheels , & Chitterlings , Whilst many thousands feed on Bag-puddings . Note but how well the Cheese-mongers do live , And what a usefull gainfull Trade they drive : Yet in their shops there is true Justice found The poore mans peney , and the rich mans pound Shall have true , weightaccordiag to proportion , Without conivence , falshood , or extortion . Were there no Buls , Chandlers were beggerd quite Nor could they sell our darknesse any light At any price of Reason , then our Guise Were soone to go to Bed , and late to Rise . Thus is the Bull , and the Bulls Breed descected In Flesh and Entrales ; now my Quil's erected ( In what is writ before I have not Lyde ) And now I le siourish ore the Hornes and Hyde . The Tanners wealth encreaseth day and Night , 'Till at the last his Sonne is dub'd a Knight : And Daughters should be ( could they purchase pride ) With Portions , and proportions Ladyfi'de . The Currier also needs not Curry favoure , For though his Trade smell , somethidg hath some savour . Nor would men be so mad as to prefer Their sonnes bound prentise to a Shoomaker ; But that their future hopes do them perswade , It is no Bare-footed and Bootlesse Trade . Nor will it ever lack , or live in scorne , 'Till all our children without feet are borne ; For ( more then any Trade ) hee 'le sing and play , Whilst every Munday is his Holiday . And when a Shoomaker fals to decay , Hee 'le be a Cobler new , and mend that way : But there 's a monstrous Trade , of late sprung forth , Doth spoil more Leather then their skins are worth , The best Hydes they devoure , and Gurmundize , Which makes the worst in price too high to Rise ; With them the World doth bravely run on Wheeles , Whilst poore men pinch and pay , quite out at heels . But hold , what vessell have I set a Broach , What is muse got jolting in a Coach ? Out with a vengeance , walk on foot I p●… And to the Bull again direct your way . Now for the excellent Admired Horne More profitable then the Unicorne . For Hoopes , for Spectacles , for Combs to dresse yo●… ( Which when they come so neere your heads , pray And 't is a Bull I have heard often said ( blesse you ) Reach me the Iron Shooing Horne good Maid . And when the Hunted Stag bids life farewell , The Huntsmans Horn doth bravely Ring his Knell , Which was the Bull-calves , or the Buls-horns once Before the Gelder reft him of his stones . Thus from the Bull , and the Bulls Breed you see , A world of people still maintained be ; He finds flesh , Bootes , Shooes , Lights , and stands in stead And great importance to afford us Bread. The Bulls deare sonne ( the Oxe ) with daily toyle , Weares out himselfe with plowing and turmoyle , And all to find us bread , and when he dyes , His Flesh , Hyde , Hornes and all , our wants supplies . So much for Bulls now in particular , For our Beare-Garden Bull , a Bull of war , A stout , a valiant , and a Head-strong-Beast , Which did not fight this 18 Moneths at least ; A Beast of mighty pollicy and power , That at his Dog foes will looke Grim , and Lower , Hee 'le knit the Brow with terror , in such sort , That when he chafes most , then he makes most sport ; At push of Pike , he with his head will play , And with his feet spurne injuries away ; Hee 'l turne and wind as nimble as an Eele , And kicke , and skornes abuses with his Heele ; Hee 'le fling and throw , hee 'le bravely tosse & turn , Hee 'le hurle and heave , and dangerously spurne , Note but his valour , when hee 's at the stake , How he prepares himselfe the Dog to take : His f●…eet fix'd fast , disdaining once to stirre , His wary eye upon the angry Cur. Whilst politickly with his Head he weaves , And with advantage up his foe he heaves , With such a force , that often with the fall Hee 's dead , or lam'd , or hath no power to sprawle . Thus hath our Bull fought in his owne defence , And purchas'd ( for his Master ( Crowns and pence . And for that purpose may do so agen , ( I wish I had the knowledge to know when ) For since the time a Bull a Dog could tosse , Our Beare-Garden had never such a losse : But le ts not lay the fault upon the Times , But let us blame our selves , and cease our Crimes . Bulls , Mistakes , Clenches , Long and short Tales . A Tale of a Bull that was bought instead of a Cowe . IT was well knowne to many ancient people to this day , that in the Citie of Gloucester , without the South Gate , in the Parish of Saint Ewins , ( where my selfe was borne ) there dwelt a Schoolemaster , who was called Master Greene , to whom I with many more went to Schoole , for some small learning beyond the Horn-Booke ; This Master Greene did love new milke so well , that because he would be sure to have it new , he would buy a Cowe of his owne , and to that purpose went to the Beast Market , but by the way having met with some friends , and a Cup or two of Sack , it had so wrought in the old mans pate , that when he came to the Beast-market , his eyes so dazled and doated on a faire Bull , that he suppos'd his Cod to be a goodly Cowes Vdder ; so he ( neither naming Cowe or Bull ) demanded the price of the Beast , till at the last the Bull was bought and sold , and driven home to a stable of Master Greenes , who being glad of his good bargaine , told his wife of it ; and when the Evening milking time was come , Master Greene , with his Wife and Maid , went to the Stable , where the Wench kneeling downe to milke , and taking the Bull by the Cod , shee said shee could find ne're a Teate , whereat the man and woman were amaz'd ; and the Bull ( for his owne ease ) instead of milke , pist in the Paile , for the which Master Greene was ever mockt and flouted , and my selfe ( with my Fellow Schollers ) to shew our acute forwardnesse in Rime , and out of the thallownesse of our deepe judgements , composed this poeticall Enco nium . Our Master Greene , was overseene , In buying of a Bull ; For when the Maid , did meane to milke , He pist the Paile halfe full - probatum . Our Schoolemaster did take these Verses so kindly , that having found out the grave Authors of them ; he ( to expresse , or declare his love to Poetry ) gave us such speedy , present , and yet backward sure payment , that we danc'd at it , and were so merry , that our cheekes ran downe with water . Another Tale of a Towne Bull. A Parson of a Countrey Village ( for the encrease of Towne Calves ) kept a lusty Bull , which serv'd for the use of the whole Parish ; which Bull , was fallen so poor and leane , that his bones might have been almost told as they were ready to start out of his skin , and the cold Winter being come , the miserable Parson put the Bull to graze on the bare ground in in the Churchyard , ( for there was little or no Grasse ) and there was also a Horse of the Parsons as leane as the Bull , which fed ( or fasted ) in the said Churchyard . These poore Beasts being almost starved with hunger and cold , and the hardnesse of their Masters heart , it fortuned that in a very darkenight , there arose a very violent Tempest of wind and raine , so that the Bull for succour and shelter from the weather , went into the Church porch , and there lay downe and dyed with cold and famine . The Horse likewise ( having the like purpose to get out of the storme ) went to the Church-porch , and by reason it was so darke , he stumbled over the dead Bull , and ran his head against the Church doore , which was so old and broken that with the force of the Horses fall , it flew open and let the Horse into the Church , who recovering his legs , and walking up and downe , musing where he was , at the last he came to the Bell Ropes , which the Countrey people that used to Ring , had ( for the ease of their hands ) made wispes , or wads of Hay fast round about the hand-fasts or handles of the Ropes ; the which Hay , the Horse smelling out , he being hungry , laid lippes to , and pull'd so hard at the Hay , that the Rope gave warning to the Bell , and the Bell to the Clapper , that it Rang now and then a stroake or twain , which the Parson hearing , he marvelled much what the matter should be , or who should jangle the Bels so confusedly at that time of the night , in the meane space the Horse goes from Rope to Rope , ( as he could find them in the darke ) which caused every Bell to toll in an untuned Diapason : At last the Parson arose , and called up the Clerke , and some neighbours , and lighted their Lanthornes ( which were the lighter and the heavier for their Candles ) so they came amazedly and fearefully to the Churchyard , and there they found the Bull dead in the Church-porch , and the Horse in the Bell-frey ringing his Knell . Although there be no impossibilitie in this Tale , yet I am not guilty of the beleefe of it , nor am I bound to prove it . Bulls with short Tales . A Taxation , or levie , or payment was laid upon a Countrey Village , for the repairing or mending of a bad high-way , against the which collection the people grumbled and murmur'd very much ; So that one of the most grave and wise of he Parish , said to the Officers that gathered the money , I tell you friends , if these kind of Bursements and elections be laid thus tollerably upon us ; ' it s enough to make folkes mad , and rise in devotion . A Bull. A Fellow going from London towards Rumford in Essex , before he came at Ilford , ( som what neer the highway ) he saw the carcases of three murderers hang'd in Chaines , and at his returne home being demaunded what newes he had brought out of the countrey ; Truely ( quoth he ) I have no great newes to tell you , but I saw a rare sight , which was , I saw three men hang'd in Iibblets . A cleare sighted Bull. ONe met a man in the street , taking acquaintance of him thus , Sir , I am a stranger , and am mistaken in you , for you are not the Gentleman that I tooke you for , but I pray you pardon me , for I am sure I have seene you by sight . Mistakes . SOme neighbours being at hot contention , for a matter of little or nothing : the businesse was brought before a Iustice , who said unto them , My good neighbours , I do wish you to agree , for the proverbe sayes truely , The Law is costly ; therefore I would have you to put the Controversie to me , and I will set all differences even betwixt you ; Truly Sir , said one , I do humbly thanke your worship , the matter concernes my wife , and I put her Case to your Worship withall my heart ; in truth quoth another , I am contented , I am willing to deferre the matter to your Worships discredit . A Bull of authority . A Major of a Countrey Towne , being sate with the rest of his Brethren , in the Towne-house began to make a grave Oration , beginning as followeth . Brethren , friends , and neighbours , I am in good hope that our proceedings will be to a good purpose , because we are so happily and lovingly seperated together amongst our selves . A shee Bull. A Young Shee Citizen borne , was newly married , having never in her life been a Traveller further then she could heare the sound of Bow-Bell . Her Husband ( on a time ) went with her into the Countrey a Ayring , whereas they were going thorow a meddow , there was a Tree , upon one of the Boughes whereof a Mole-catcher had hang'd up many Moles or Wants which he had taken , which the young woman espying , shee call'd to her husband , saying , O what a sollitary life it is to live in the Citie , where no such fine things do grow as are heere in the Countrey , for looke you Husb and heere is a Black-pudding Tree . A Roguish Flash . A Poore man was going to the Market ( on a Saturday ) to buy Beefe , he having a Roguish boy to his sonne , the boy asked him whether he was going ; he answered , I am going to the Butchers . O father ( said the boy ) the Butchers are crafty fellowes , and if you take not heed , they will cosin you , therefore I advise you to take the Dog with you , for two heads are better then one . A Flash . A Neat Gentleman , with an Ash coulour , or Silver couloured paire of silke Stockings , going hastily through the gate that leads into the Pallace at Westminster , suddenly , a woman ( or maid ) did chance to cast out a dish or pot of new-made warme water , some tale whereof lighted in the Gentlemans shooes , and withall besparkled his silke Stockings ; at which , very angerly he said , Thou filthy base sluttish Queane , Canst thou not see , but throw thy stinking pisse into my shooes and hose ? To whom she answered , Sir , I am sorry that I have done you any wrong , but yet you have done me a great deal more injury then I have done to you , for I would have you know , that I am no such Slut as you call'd me , neither do I keep pisse till it stinkes , but I alwayes throw it away fresh and fresh as I make it . A Bull. TWo Gentlemen passing up the River of Thames , with a paire of Oares from London-Bridge towards Westminster , one of the Gentlemen did take somewhat in distaste , that one of the Watermen had either said or done to him ; the Waterman did intreat him not to be angry , and said , he did mean no harme , and was sorry that a Gentleman should be angry for nothing ; but the more the one did entreat , the more furious the other was , insomuch that he said to the Waterman , Sirra , hold your prating , for I vow as I am a Gentleman , if I do rise and come to thee , I will knocke thy head and the wall together . A Clench . AN old man had sate tipling so long at the Ale-house , that he had almost gotten a Loafe out of the Brewers Basket , and having an unhappy Boy to his sonne , who came for him to get him home , to whom the old man said , Sirra Boy have a care of me , and lead me well , for my head is very light ; to whom the Boy answered , Father , it is long of your eyes that your head is light , for if they were out , your head would be in the darke . A Bull. A Gentleman riding in the Countrey , attended with one Servingman , they met a fellow that was a stride upon a Cowe , the Servingman said , Master behold , yonder is a strange sight . What is it said the Gentleman ? why sir ( said his man ) looke you sir , there is one Rides on Horseback upon a Cowe ; that 's a great Bull , said the Gentleman ; nay sir , said his man , it is no Bull , I know it is a Cowe by his Teats . A Mistake . ONe that was a Good-fellow upon the Score so farre , that many blacke posts did proclaime his credit in sundry Taverns , Ale houses , and Tobacco shops , Chalk was the Inke , to remember what Ch●…n●…e he owed for his Drinke . It happened , that his braine being intoxicated with late tipling in a frosty Winters night , and his way being over a little Close from the Alehouse to his owne house , hee perceiving the Grasse all milke-white with the hoary frost ; at which sight hee merrily said to one that went with him , Now I see that all the world is Chalk'd , and my Scores will never be seene for me to pay them . A Bull. TWo men in a hot Summer Evening , stripped themselves out of their Cloathes , to swimme or wash themselves in the Thames , or some other Brooke or River ; and having ( as they thought ) staid overlong in the water , one of them said , Let us now go a Shore , and put on our cloathes , for it is time to go home . The other answered , do you go on shore first , I will but unlose a point , and come to you presently . A short Bull. ONe said , that the best Bull-dog that ever he saw play at the Beare , was a Brended Bitch . A Citie Bull. TWo Citizens , having been making merry in Middlesex , came riding homewards through a Village called Acton ( which is sixe miles from London ) and perceiving a faire house , with the doores and windowes shut , one of them said , it was great pitty that such a handsome building should want an inhabitant ; to whom the other answered , you say true brother , it is pitty , but if I had this house in London , it should not stand empty heere . A Curtoll Bull. ONe said that he was so sows'd and dash'd with a showre of Raine , that he had ne're a dry thred wet about him . A pretty Bull. ONe was perswaded to go into the water and wash himselfe , he answered that it was dangerous , and that he did never meane to go into any River , or other water , before he had first learn'd to swimme perfectly . A Mistake . A Man departed from his house , and dwelling privately , without taking leave of any body , and travell'd , so that it was not knowne to any what was become of him , at last there was a supposition that he was kill'd in a quarrell by a mad fellow that behaved himselfe so well , that few honest folkes lov'd him . This fellow was apprehended , and arraigned at the Assises for suspition of the fact , and by some strong presumptions appeared so guilty , that he was thought fit to be hang'd , and after a yeares imprisonment , he went abroad now and then ( with the leave of the Iaylor ) where by chance he met the man that was supposed to be slaine by him ; whereupon the prisoner got his liberty : who comming among his old Consorts , he said , My Masters , I have endured a great deale of trouble about killing of a Rascall , and nothing grieves me so much , as that I met the Rogue sixteene moneths after in Aylsbury Market . A Bull. ONe said that the High Sherife of Yorkeshire did entertaine the Iudges in a brave and commendable fashion , with one hundred and twenty men , all in one saire Livery of Gray Marble . Of a Fryer . A Preaching Fryer once reprooved his Auditors for sleeping at his Sermons , but yet ( said he ) I pray you do not refraine comming to Church though you doe sleepe , for God Almighty may chance to take some of you napping . Of a Saylor and his Wife . A Saylor was absent on a Voyage three yeeres , in the meane space his Wife had a Boy , twenty moneths old , to entertaine him withall at his returne : the Saylor said , Wife , whose childe is this : marry husband ( quoth she ) it is mine , and God sent it me in your absence . To which the man repli'd , I will keepe this child , because God sent him , but if God send me any more on that fashion , he shall keep them himselfe . A witty Tale of a new married man. A Young fellow being newly married , having been from home , came suddenly into his house , and found his Wife at foule play with another man : the poor young Cuckold ran presently and told his wives father all the businesse , who replyed thus ; Sonne , I married her mother , and I tell thee plaine that thy wife seemes to be her daughter in conditions as well as feature , for I have taken her mother many times in that manner , and no warning would serve her , till in the end age made her leave it , and so will thy wife do when she is old and past it . A Tale of three Gossips , that would know , Whereabouts a Cuckolds hornes do grow . THree Gossips in a Tavern , chatting over a Pint of Sherry , said one of them , I muse whereabouts a Cuckolds hornes grow ; quoth the second , I think they do grow in the pole , or nape of the neck ; verily , quoth the third , I do think it to be true , for my Husbands bands are alwayes worn out behind . Of a Whore. ONe called a Whore lazie jade , content your selfe , quoth another , as lazie as she seemes , she is able to carry a man quicke to the Divell . Of Cuckolds . A Company of neighbours that dwelt all in a rowe , in one side of a street ; one of them said , Let us be merry , for it is reported that we are all Cuckolds that dwell on our side of the street ( except one ) one of the women sate musing , to whom her husband said ; ( wife ) what all a mort , why art thou so sad ? no , quoth shee , I am not sad , but I am studying which of our neighbours it is that is not a Cuckold . A Clench . A Gentleman being in a house of iniquitie , or Cousin-German to a Bawdy house , the roome being very darke , he called alowd for a light Huswife ; to whom a Wench made answer , I come Incontinent . He calls for light , she under stood him right , For shee was vanity which made her light : She said she would incontinent attend , To make her Continent , she needs to mend . A Mistake . TWo Maids ( or servants ) dwelling in a house together , the one of them having occasion to use a Steele , smoothing Iron , or some such kinde of Laundry Instrument , and having sought it , and not finding it , said to her fellow , thou dost mislay every thing in the house , and art so busie a baggage that thou canst let nothing stand ; to which the other answered , and you are so way ward and teasty , that a little thing troubles you , and puts you in a great anger . A Gentlewomans answer to a Captaine . IN a time of Peace , a Captaine being in company , where after dinner there was dancing , with whom a Gentlewoman was desirous to dance , the Captaine said , he was made to fight , and not to dance : to whom she answered , that it were good that he were oil'd and hang'd up in an Armory , till there were occasion to use him . Of a Huffing Gallant ONe asked a Huffing Gallant , why he had not a Looking-Glasse in his Chamber , he answered , he durst not , because he was often angry , and then he look'd so terribly , that he was fearefull to looke upon himselfe . Of a fellow that was whipt . THere was a fellow that ( not for his goodnesse ) was whipt at a Carts-tayle ; and in his execution he drew backward , to whom a Gentleman ( in pitty ) said , Fellow , do not draw back , but presse forward , and thy execution and paines will be the sooner past and done ; to whom the Rogue answered , It is my turn now , when thou art whip'd , do thou go as thou wilt , and now I will go as I please . Beleeve it if you list . ONe said , that he had travaild so farre that he had laid his hand upon the hole where the wind came forth : a second said , that he had bin at the farthest edge of the world , and driven a nayle quite thorow it : the third repli'd , that he had been further , for he was then on the other side of the world , and clencht that nayle . Of a Pope . THere was a Pope , who being dead , it is said that he came to heaven gate and knock'd ; Saint Peter ( being within the Gate ) asked who was there : The Pope answered , Brother , it is I , I am the last Pope deceased ; Saint Peter said , if thou be the Pope , why dost thou knocke , thou having the Keyes , mayest unlocke the gate and enter ? The Pope replyed , saying , that his predecessors had the Keyes , but since their time the Wards were altered . A Tale betwixt a Miser and a poore Man. A Rich Miser , being reviled by a poore man , whom he had oppressed ; the rich man said , Thou Dog , leave thy barking : the poore man answered , that he had one quality of a good dog , which was , to barke when he saw a Thiefe . An unhappy answer of a Boy to his father playing at Dice . A Man being deeply in play at Dice , having lost much mony , his son ( a little lad ) being by him , wept ; quoth the father , Boy , why dost thou weepe ? the Boy answered , that he had read that Alexander the Great , wept when he heard that his ●…her ( King Philip ) had conquered many Cities , Townes , and Territories , fearing that he would leave him nothing ro win ; and I weepe the contrary way ( quoth the boy ) for I feare that my Father will leave me nothing to lose . Of one that opprest the Poore . AN Oppressor having feld all the trees in a Forrest , which for a long time had been the reliefe of many poore people , said , that it was as good as a Comedy to him to see the trees fall ; to whom a poore man said , I hope , as thou makest a Comedy of our miseries , that three of those trees may be reserved to finish a Tragedy for thee and thy children . Of one that forgot his old acquaintance . ONe lamented his friends hard fortune , that being raised to a place of honour , was growne senselesse , forgetting all his old familiar acquaintance , and so far from knowing any man , that he knew not himselfe . Of Instruments and Engines . THe Plough surpasseth the Pike , the Harrow excelleth the Halbert , the Coulter exceeds the Cuttleax , the Goad 〈◊〉 better then the Gunne ; for the one 〈◊〉 are the Instruments of life and profit , and the other are the Engines of death , and all kinds of calamities . Either shame , or hunger . A Poore man is in two extreames : first , if he aske , he dyes with shame ; secondly , if he aske not , hee dies with hunger . An Officers excuse . ONe being in Office , was reproved for negligence ; his excuse was , that it was his best policy to be idle : for if hee should do ill , he should displease God , and if he should do well , he should offend men : 〈◊〉 whom one answered , you ought to do ●…our dutie , for in well doing you shall ●●ease God , and in ill doing you shall ●…lease men . How women take pleasure to be sued unto . VVOmen take great pleasure to be to be sued to , though they never meane to grant . Of Suites in Law. ONe said that Suiters in Law were mortall , and their sure immortall and that there is more profit in a quicke deniall , then in a long dispatch . Of Rome . A Traveller was talking what a good City Rome was , to whom one of the company said , that all Rome was not Italy for we had too much Rome in England . Irish wood an enemy to Caterpillars . A Countrey Fellow came into Westminster Hall , where one told him that the roofe of it was made of Irish wood , and that the nature of it was such , that no Spider would come neere it , and he said ( further ) that in Ireland , no Toad , Snake , or Caterpiller can live , but that the Earth , or the Trees will destroy them : Ah ( quoth the Countrey man ) I wish with all my heart that the Benches , Barres and Flooring were all made of such earth and wood , and that all Coaches , Barges , and Wherries , were made of Irish Oake , that all our English Caterpillers might be destroyed . Thomas Coriat's complaint of Iohn Taylor . MAster Thomas Coriat ( on a time ) complained against me to King Iames , desiring His Majestie that he would cause some heavie punishment to be inflicted upon me , for abusing him in writing ( as he said I had ) to whom the King replide , that when the Lords of His Honourable Privie Councell had leisure , and nothing else to do , then they should heare and determine the differences betwixt Master Coriat the Scholler , and Iohn Taylor the Sculler : which answer of the King was very acceptable to Master Coriat . Whereupon I made this following Petition to the King. TO THE KINGS MOST Excellent Majestie . The humble Petition of Iohn Taylor , your Majesties poore Water-Poet . Sheweth , MOst mighty Monarch of this famous I le , ( Vpon the knees of my submissive mind ) I beg thou wilt be graciously inclin'd , To reade these lines my rusticke Pen compile : Know ( Royall Sir ( Tom Coriat works the wile , Your high displeasure on my head to bring ; And well I wot , the sot , his words can file , In hope my fortunes head-long down to fling . The King , whose Wisdome through the world did ring , Did heare the cause of two offending Harlots ; So , I beseech thee ( Great ) great Britaines King , To do the like for two contending Varlots . A brace of Knaves your Majestie implores , To heare their suites as Solomon heard Whores , A Ribble-Rabble of Gossips . THe space of a fortnight from the Bear-baiting , two houres and a halfe from the Wind-mill , about foure of the Clocke in the forenoone , a little after supper in the morning , betweene old mother Maudlin , of the Parish of Ideots , Plaintiffe , of the one party , and Gossip Gitlian , of Gossips Hall , in the Parish of Twattlebourgh , of the other party , Defendant . A mauer in Controversie depending of issues , whereupon it was constulted by the right reverend Matron , Madam Isabel , that Katharine should go no more a Maying with Susan in the coole of the Evening before sun-rising , whereupon Lister took the matter snuffe , and swore by the crosse of Audr●… Bugle-bow that Ione should jogge to 〈…〉 house to borrow her poking sticke : upon this Philiday starts up very jeparately , and commands Marget to make haste to Rache 〈…〉 house , and borrow a dozen of left handed spoones : now old Sibill all this while sate mumping like a Gib-Cat , and on the sudden she starts up , and thrusts Charity out of doores , to take up her lodging where shee could get it ; Doll being much offended to see Marget invited to Prec●●●aes wedding , by no meanes could suffer Abigaile to breake her fa●…t before she got Victuals ; presently Bettrice whispers Cicily in the care foftly , that all the company heard it , and bad her tell Alice , that unlesse she took heed , the pot would run over , and the fat lie in the fire ; at this Mary clap'd her hands together , and entreats Blanch to tell her Cozen Edith , how shee should say that Luce should say , that Elizabeth should do the thihg she wots of . Amy hearing all this with a judiciall understanding capacity , at last tels Parnell , that her daughter Rebecka was gone to lie at her Aunt Christians house in Shooing-horne Alley . Now in the heat of all this businesse , Barbara tels Frances how there is good Ale at the Labour-in-vaine : the matter being brought to this passe , Winifrid sayes that her goddaughter Grace , is newly brought , ( God blesse the child ) and that Constance the Comfit-makers wife , at the signe of the Spiders leg , must be Gossip ; out alas sayes Temperance , what have I forgot , I should have been an houre agone at Prudences the Laundresse , to have taken measure of a paire of Cuffes for her Maid Dorcas : Now to conclude the businesse , Martha protests that she will never trust Thomasin againe while she lives , because she promised to meet her at Pimlico , and bring her neighbour Bethya with her , and came not . Neverthelesse Faith went to mother Red-Caps , & by the way metwith Ioyce , who very kindly batled her peny w th her at a fat Pig. Well quoth Sara , all this wind shakes no corn , and I should have bin a starching Mistresse Mercies Lawne Apron , and like a good Huswife I am prating heere . Neighbours and friends , quoth Arbella , seeing the matter drawes toward so good a conclusion , let 's een have the tother Pint before we go ; truly sayes Iane , the motion is not to be misliked , what say you Gossip Vrsula truly sayes Ellin , I would go with you with all my heart , but I promist to meet Lydya at a Lector that we might take a neighbourly nap together . Vpon this rose a hurly burly , that the whole assembly dispersed themselves divers wayes , some one way , some another , and in conclusion , the businesse was all wisely ended as it was begun . A Beare . Beare and forbeare , I now speake of the Beare , And therefore ( Reader ) give , or lend an Eare. FIrst therefore , in much briefenesse I am rendring Where , and how Beares have breeding and engendring , Some are Ossean , some are Callidonian , Some Aeremanthian Beares , and some Aemonian , Some rugged Russians , some Sun-burnt Numidians , Amphibians ) And lastly , the white swimming Beares , Some do affirme a Beare to be a creature , Whelp'd like a lump , with neither shape or feature , Untill the Damme doth licke it into fashion , And makes the lamp a Beare in transformation . As Taylors with their precious wisdomes Tallants , Do licke , and Metamorphose Gulls to Gallantt . Whereby a fashion oft is shap'd ( by chance ) Out of an ill-bread lumpe of ignorance . But for the Beare he keepes his shape most constant , The Taylor ( and his creatures ) change each instant , The Beare keepes still , the fashion he brought hither , The gallant Gull 's inconstant , like Weather . A Beare 's a temperate Beast , most free from riot , A prudent Schoolmaster , of sparing dyet , Hee 'le live foure moneths from every kind of meat , By sucking of his left foot , like a Teat . Which is an abstinence that doth require , More then the fast of a Carthusisian Fryer , No Capuchin , or immur'd Anchorite , Did never ( so much ) curbe his Appetite . And as Beares suffer hunger , I am sure , No beast created , doth more cold endure : When fridged Boreas blustring blasts do blow , Mid'st Rocks , of hoary Ice , and hills of Snow , The worst of Winters sharp extremity , The hardy Beare , abides most constantly . And in hot Africke , and the Libian Coast , Where Phaebus flames doth seeme the world to Roast : Where Negro Moores , are dride and blackly dide , That heat ( excessive ) there the Beare doth bide . So that with hunger , heat , and pinching cold , The Beares extremities are manifold . Being growne unto Maturity and strength , And having hither past the seas , at length , At Beare-Garden , ( a sweet Ro●…untious Golledge ) Hee 's taught the Rudiments of Art and knowledge . There doth he learne to dance , and ( gravely grumbling ) To fight & to be Active ( bravely tumbling ) To practise wards , and postures , to and fro , To guard himselfe , and to offend his foe ; Upon his hind feet , Tipto stiffe to stand , And cuffe a Dog off with his foot-like hand ; And afterwards ( for recreations sake ) Practise to run the Ring about the stake . Whilst showts , and Mastives mouthes do fill the sky That sure Acteon ne're had such a cry . Thus Beares do please the hearing and the sight , And sure their sent will any man invite : For whosoer'e spends most , shall finde this fauour , That by the Beares and Dogs , hee 's made a savour . And as a Common-wealth , ( oft by Ill-willers ; ) Is vex'd by prowling knaves , and Caterpillars , So is a Beare ( which is a quiet Beast ) By Curres and Mungrels , oftentimes opprest . And tyde to what he doth hee 's bound to see , The best and worst of all their cruelty . And for mens monies , what shift ere they make for 't , What ere is laid or paid , the Beare 's at stake for 't . Though he be hardly drawne to 't , 'gainst his will , Hee 's bound to see and beare , and bide much ill ; Besides the baiting of a Beare is rare , Unlike the baiting of a Horse or Mare : The Horse hath Provender , and Hey for Bait , And doth in peace and quiet eate his meat ; When as the Beare , is Tugg'd , Lugg'd , Bit & Beaten And eates no Bait , but likely to be Eaten . A Beare is like a Watchman by his coat , He weares a Rugge-Gowne alwayes ( if you note , ) And ( like a Watchman ) oft a Beare will be As mannerly , and watch as well as he . And as a grumbling Officer may weare A Collor and a Chaine , so doth a Beare . 'T is writ by Authors ( Philosophicall ) How that a Beare is usefull , Physicall , For Agues , and hot Feavers , take his haire , His Greace ( or Lard ) will aking Limbes repaire : His Marrow strengthens , ( if you do annoint ) Shrunk Sinewes , Nerves , or an enfeebled joint , The oyle boyl'd from his feet will operate The Gowtes tormenting much to mitigate , And when man 's in consumption , like to pine , The Bears pith's good , that grows amidst his Chine . A Beares skin Tann'd it 'h haire , is for a bed Better then Blanquet , Rugg , or Coverled . A Beares Teeth , Painters in high price do hold , To make them Instruments to gild with gold , And for his Furre it is such ex'lent stuffe , That Many a Lady weares it in a Muffe ; Dry a Beares Liver , and to Powder beat it , And let a Maid of forty five yeares eat it ; Although a thousand false Knaves would deceive her Yet she shall keep her Maidenhead for ever . Thus having shew'd of Beares their sundry breeding Their formes , their admirable sparing feeding : Their patience , courage , temperance , sortitude , And many vertues that have them endu'd , For feare I should mens patience much offend , I le give one short touch more and make an end . Then for the further honour of the Beares , They ( with the stars ) are mounted in their Sphears : There Vrsa Major in the firmament , Is stellifide , a glorious ornament , And there , the little Beare , ( a starre more finer ) Is call'd Artophilax , or Vrsa Minor , And who so reads the second part of Ovid , There shall they finde ( what here is writ ) approved . Now once againe , pray lend your eyes and eares , I le write of baiting of the Bulls and Beares . It is a Game so ancient , that I wot Records can scarce shew when we usde it not . Except now , in these sad infectious times , That heav'ns just hand doth plague us for our crimes , The Game is by authority supprest : And Beares , and Bulls , and Dogs , have too much rest , Through want of baiting growne to such a straine , ( Hard to be tam'd , or brought in frame againe ) Almost all mad for want of exercise , Filling the Aire with roaring and with cries , That those who neer the Bear-Garden are dwelling Do heare such bellowing bawling , yawling , yelling , As if Hell were broake loose , or ( truth to speake ) The Devils at foot-ball were or Barley-breake . There 's three couragious Bulls , as ever plaid , Twenty good Beares , as er'e to stake was taid , And seventy Mastives of such Breed and Races , That from fierce Lions will not turne their faces ; A male and female Ape ( kind Jacke and Jugge ) Who with sweet complement do kisse and hugge , And lastly there is Jacke an Apes his Horse , A Beast of fiery fortitude and force . As for the Game I boldly dare relate , 'T is not for Boyes , or fooles effeminate , For whoso'ere comes thither , most and least , May see and learne some courage from a Beast : And 't is not only a base Rabble Crew , That thither comes , It may be proved true , That to the Beare-Garden comes now and than , Some Gamesters worth ten thousand pounds a man. For rough behaviour that 's no great disgrace , There 's more hors-play us'd at each deere hors-race , More heads , or legs , or necks , are broake each day , At Cards , Dice , Tables , Bowles , or foot-ball-play . The Game hath been maintain'd , and will , we hope Be so againe ( now favour gives it scope ) For Kings , for Princes , for Ambassadors , Both for our Countreym●…n , and forreigners . Which hath been held , a Royalty and Game , And ( though ecclips'd ) will be againe the same . But now ( to make an end ) must be explain'd , How it the name of Paris-Garden gan'd : The name of it was from a Royall Boy , ( Brave Illions fire-brand , wracke and sacke of Troy ) Paris ( King Priams sonne ) a sucking child , Was throwne away into the woods so wilde , There that young Prince was cast to live or perish , And there a Bear with sucke , the babe did cherish ; And as a rare memoriall of the same , From Paris , Paris-Garden hath the name . Those that will not beleeve it , let them go To France , in Paris , they may find it so , Or if not there , let them looke narrowly , In Matthew Paris famous History . And that we have obtain'd againe the Game , Our Paris-Garden Flag proclaimes the same . Our Beares , and Bulls , and Dogs , in former state , The streets of London do perambulate , And honest sport , and lawfull merriment , Shall thrice a weeke be shew'd , to give content . Heere followes the Names of the Bulls and Beares at the Beare-Garden now . The Bulls are , 1 Goldilocks . 2 Emperour . 3 Dash. 4 Iugler . The Beares are , 1 Ned of Canterbury . 2 George of Cambridge . 3 Don Iohn . 4 Ben Hunt. 5 Nan Stiles . 6 Beefe of Ipswich . 7 Robin Hood . 8 Blind Robin . 9 Iudith of Cambridge . 10 Besse Hill. 11 Kate of Kent . 12 Rose of Bedlam . 13 Nan Talbot . 14 Mall Cut-Purse . 15 Nell of Holland . two white Beares . 16 Mad Besse 17 Will Tookey 18 Besse Runner . 19 Tom Dogged . If any will have one of these , or some , Or all , let them to our Beare-Garden come : These beasts are for their service bound , & 〈◊〉 And there their pleasures may be satisfide . Vpon the goodnesse of a worthinesse of Horses , with a merry touch of the Beare-Garden Palfrey , or Jacke-an-Apes his Horse . MY Muse is Mounted 'twixt the soaring wings Of Pegasus , who bravely flies and flings Through ayre , through clouds , through sun-shine , & descries Each earthly Regions Rare Varieties . The numbers infinite , of sundry creatures , Their strange diversity in formes and Natures , And as in gliding flight , I swiftly soare Or'e Sun-burnt Africke , and the Libian shore , There ( with much pleasure ) I did cast mine eye Upon the well-made Horse of Barbarie , And crossing or'e the Mediterran Maine , I saw the prauncing Jennet of proud Spaine , straight the Iberian fume of Aristippus , ●…url'd us to Greece , and there I view'd their Hippos . Then back or'e Italy amaine we flew , Whereas their fierce Cavallo I did view , In Naples I the Courser brave espide , Thence , we or'e Almaine , and low Belgia glide , There my Muse saw the bounding Palfrey Prancē , From thence my wing'd horse bore me over France There foaming fiery hot the gallant Gaul , Did daunce Corantoes with his Frenth Chevall . Then or'e Hibernia , we tooke speedy flight , And there the Irish Hobby pleas'd my sight , Then my Pegasian wings began to flag , I view'd the English Steed , and Scottish Nag . And as the heat of blood my Bcast inflames He kick'd and threw me headlong into * Thames , And as I fell , his hoofe bestow'd a wince , Upon my pate , and there 's the marke ere since . The gentle River at my fall did grieve , Set me on land safe , gave me meanes to live : And Pegasus inspir'd me with his heele , That ever since an itching vaine I feele , Of sprightfull Poesie , though not so well , As men may say I therein do excell . But I can do ( as many more have done ) Bring Reames of Paper to confusion . Nor doth my Muse rejoyce in merriments , Drawne from wits sorded obsceane excrements ; I le curbe her in , from medling with the State , Or libelling 'gainst men infortunate , I meane to keep my eares upon my head , And on mens miseries I scorne to tread . I have observ'd no proud man ever yet , Did any thing but ruine , and hatred get ; I know obedience , and humilitie , Is best with all belov'd tranquilitie , I know the lawes guard me from mischiefes Jawes , Which lawes I love , & those that made those lawes Nor shall my lines ( for things indifferent ) In Church or Common-wealth er'e make a rent . Thus Pegasus did to Pernassus soare , And on the Thames I got a healthfull Oare , Which ofttimes I have us'd , and will againe , Meane time I le use the vigour of my braine , As Homer writ the warres of Mice and Frogs , So I ( his Ape ) do write of Beares and Dogs : Of Bulls , and Bulls begot by word of mouth Of Horses , and some Tales of age and youth , And now my Muse againe begins to mount , The Horses excellency to recount , You famous Palfreyes of the flaming Sunne , ( That scorn'd the management of Phaeton ) Who with the heat of Sol's bright Axelltree Caus'd all this under world on fire to be ; ( I know the morall meaning of the same , Is , man should not beyond true reason ayme . ) Let Ecus , Phlegon , Aethon , and Piruis , Apolloes golden Teame Assist my Muse , But 't is no matter , keepe your daily course , Without your aide my wit is nere the worse ; Whilst you are reeking with celestiall sweat I , of Terrestriall Horses meane to treat . A Horse ( of all the Beasts beneath the skie ) Is best , and most for mans commodity : His exact making gives the eye delight , A body brave , lin'd with a noble sprite , And though he knew no reson , or a mind , Yet unto man hee 's tractably enclin'd , In dangerous war , the Horse the brunt doth carry , Where every Rider seemes a Sagitary , In peace , a Horse for state , for Tilt or Tourney , For quicke dispatch , or ease in any journey , For pleasure , carriage , and for husbandry , The Horse doth furnish our necessity . The poorest Horse that is , or ever was , Doth much more service then the golden Asse , That 's deck'd with borrowed trappings , yet such beasts , Advance audaciously their brainlesse Crests , Neere where the Princely Lyon doth resort , And there in pride and sensuall lust do snort , Yet can they not out strip all beasts so farr , But Wisdomes eye perceives them what they are . The hunting Horse is of good use for pleasure . The Sumpter Horse doth understand the treasure . The Mill-horse hath an endlesse journey ( round ) The Pack-horse overladen measures ground , The Mare and Gelding servesour businesse well , Whilst ( for poore Hackneyes ) England is a Hell. And what 's a Horses gaine for all his paine , But bread , grasse , hay , oats , or such kind of Graine , tyres . That is the summum bonum , he desires , Through want of which there 's many a good Horse I have seene Gallants ( three parts drunke almost ) * Ride , as they meant to see the Devill in post , And when they to their journies end have come , Their horses mucky wet , with sweat and foame , The Riders fall unto their drinking vaine , The Ostler walkes the Horse a turne or twaine , Their jawes tyde up unto the empty Racke , The whilst their Riders smoake , and swallow sack , Quaffes , capers , sings a Katch , a round , or Ditty , And leaves the Horse unto the Hostlers pitty , And so the jades of meat do get such store , As Lazarus once had at the Gluttons dore . Thus many a good Horse proves a jade indeed Being over rid , and want whereon to feed , All those that to a beast beares such a mind , I wish them all so served in their kind . There 's many wayes , mens barbarous cruelty , Doth cause diseases multiplicity To be in Horses , and the damned Trade To sell a Botch'd sophisticated jade , In * Smithfield is in practise twice a weeke , He that beleeves me not , let him go seeke . There shall he see the ambler made to trot , The lame and founderd , lusty , ( being hot ) The trotter shall be forc'd with ease to amble , And through the horsemarket shall be such scamble With galloping , and trotting , ambling , pacing , Most odious swearing , lying , and out-facing , Such dawbing horses griefes with counterfeiting , That hee 's a cunning buyer scapes their cheating . In ancient times , horses much fame did gaine , Which Poets and Historians do maintaine : Besides the swist skie-scalding Pegasus , Great Alexander had Bucephalus , Reinoldo had his Bayard , and there are , Names giv'n to horses , both in peace and war. But leaving stately horses , it is found † The Bear-garden is circular , or rovnd , Where Iack-an-Apes his horse doth swiftly run His circuit , like the horses of the Snn. And quicke as lightning , his will trace and track , Making that endlesse round his Zodiacke , Which Iacke ( his Rider ) bravely rides a straddle , And in his hot Careere perfumes the saddle ; Hee 's active , and hee 's passive in his pace , And sprung from ancient and approved race , His grandsires grandsire , was begot perforce , Between the Night-mare , and the Trojan Horse , That female Horse of Sinon , in whose wombe A hundred well-arm'd mad Colts had their roome , Wch being foald , spoild Troy , with sword & flame , and from that Jade , our jade descent doth claime , For ( as his parents oft have done before ) He alvvayes keepes a jadish tricke in store . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13429-e240 * * I unumerable are the people and families that live by the Bull , and the Bulls off-spring . Notes for div A13429-e10950 * * Pegasus cast me off his backe , and I sell into the Thames , which was the cause I serv'd an apprentiship to be a Waterman . * * The had usage of unconscionable riders to horses * * Much cheeting in Smithfield , in buying and selling Horses . † † Vpon the Bearegarden Horse . 
A13438	----	Differing worships, or, The oddes, betweene some knights service and God's Or Tom Nash his ghost, (the old Martin queller) newly rous'd, and is come to chide and take order with nonconformists, schismatiques, separatists, and scandalous libellers. VVherein their abusive opinions are manifested, their jeeres mildly retorted, and their unmannerly manners admonished. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A13438 of text S118199 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 23746). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 49 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 17 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A13438 STC 23746 ESTC S118199 99853407 99853407 18790 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13438) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18790) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 977:12) Differing worships, or, The oddes, betweene some knights service and God's Or Tom Nash his ghost, (the old Martin queller) newly rous'd, and is come to chide and take order with nonconformists, schismatiques, separatists, and scandalous libellers. VVherein their abusive opinions are manifested, their jeeres mildly retorted, and their unmannerly manners admonished. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [8], 25, [3] p. Printed [by R. Bishop?] for William Ley, and are to be sold at his shop neere Pauls chaine, London : 1640. In verse. Printer's name conjectured by STC. The first leaf is blank; the last leaf bears an envoi. Reproduction of the original in the Folger Shakespeare Library. eng A13438 S118199 (STC 23746). civilwar no Differing worships, or, The oddes, betweene some knights service and God's. Or Tom Nash his ghost, (the old Martin queller) newly rous'd, an Taylor, John 1640 8037 12 0 0 0 0 0 15 C The rate of 15 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Olivia Bottum Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Olivia Bottum Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Differing Worships , Or , The Oddes , betweene some Knights Service and God's . OR TOM NASH his Ghost , ( the old Martin queller ) newly rous'd , and is come to chide and take order with Nonconformists , Schismatiques , Separatists , and scandalous Libellers . Wherein their Abusive opinions are manifested , their Jeeres mildly retorted , and their unmannerly manners admonished . By IOHN TAYLOR . LONDON , Printed for William Ley , and are to be sold at his shop neere Pauls chaine . 1640. TO THE FRIENDLY , VNFRIENDLY , PREjudicate , or Indifferent Reader , or Hearer , and so consequently to all , and every body . I ( with applause ) have writt , neere seavenscore Books , Yet never fear'd base words , or scurvy looks : Though some detracting spirits snarle and hisse , I ( with mine owne hand ) doe acknowledge this : Let Rake-hells raile , and Rebels kick and spurne ; The Bush shall be unburnt , when they shall burne : Such as would sink the Arke ( which doth denote That then Gods Church was in that sacred Boate ) More barbarous than the barbarous souldiers were That did refuse Christs seam-lesse Coate to teare ; To such as these , and none but such as these , My lines may have a rellish to displease ; And I doe say ( as better men have said ) God is my record , I am not affraid Of Force or Fraude ; for he that feareth such , Will never dare t' abide the Test or Tutch : Nor is it flatt'ry that doth cause me write , ( My Climactericall doth say , Good Night ) And 't is a Court-like adulating sinne , Which I ne're us'd , nor will I now beginne ; He that 's offended , let him tell wherefore , And shew some reason why he hath therefore ; And where my error is , but shew me it , In all Humility I will submit . Some sattin Momus , or some silken Zoylus , Or Midas puft in plush , or musky Troylus ; This was not writt to doe them any pleasure , Nor can their Wisedomes take of it true measure ; If such as understand not , are offended , I bid them all come kisse my Muse , and mend it . But sure , as long as God is on my side , What need I care if raskals doe deride ; My deere , deere Mother , Englands Church , 't is she , ( In humble duty ) drawes these lines from me ; For though I am no Clergie-man , I know , That I obedience unto HER doe owe ; In HER , I was baptised , and in HER I have been shew'd Truth , and to shun to erre ; In HER th' eternall food ( most excellent ) I have receiv'd , in th' Word and Sacrament , And for HER sake ( to vindicate her cause ) Expecting neither proffit nor applause , These following lines unto the world I send , Which ( I am sure ) shall last , till time shall end . J. T. Poeta Aquaticus . Differing Worships , Or The Oddes , betweene some Knights service and Gods . And first to begin with the Knights or Ladies High and Mighty Worships . NOte the Rare fabrick of his Worships Building , Behold th'Illustrious Splendor of the Gilding , View well the Columns , and the Buttresses , Marke the faire Pompous Porches Glorious dresse , The Pillars , and the Pillasters admire , Looke how the pointed Pyramids aspire , The Obeliskes , Corinthian carv'd work fine Of purest Marble , Ieat , or Serpentine , Of Alabaster , Tutch , or Porphiry , Or of th'admired ( mock-Jeat ) Ebony ; From the Foundation to the Battlement Most sumptuous , stately and magnificent . His Worships Radient Hall , wood-linings pure , Miter'd and Cipher'd , and Reval'd Immure : His Marble Pavement Chequer'd black and white , T' Amaze and Ravish the beholders sight ; His Worships faire Glasse-windowes , with his name And Armes , ( which shewes from what descents he came ) His Worship eats and sleepes , in Roomes , are hung With costly Arras , and himselfe among ( I meane his Picture , if right understood ) Gentles Allyed , in Marriage , or in Blood ; See more , and take note what you see , at length His Worships Altar 's Crown'd with Glorious strength Of Massie Plate ; His Worships Tables hold Large Purple Velvet Carpets , fring'd with Gold . His Worships Spouse , and Issue ; like a Rood Of Glistring Images ; his Worships food Approaching , Be uncover'd , Stentor cries ; His Worships Waiters bow before him thrice , With servile reverence , humbly stooping low , They pay the duty they his Worship owe . His Worships Chaplaine , twice , ( with double grace ) In feare and trembling , takes and leaves his place , And ( having read his Chapter ) still must say , Thus ends your Worships Lesson for the day . His Worships Lady ( likewise mighty fine ) Adored is , as 't were a Thing Divine ; Her Waiting-woman , and her Chamber-mayd Is sude to , bow'd to , and implor'd and pray'd . Knights Service thus , and Lady Worship , see How odly , madly Gods and this agree . Here followeth the unfashionable fashion , or the too too homely Worshipping of God . GODS Houses , almost like Troyes Ilion , Are also built of course and baser stone , With broken Pavement , Window , Wall and Dore ; Well , if but White-lim'd , and then Oaker'd o're ; Drillings of Raine , make greene and yellow streakes , And ( Where they give him place ) the Painter speakes In Creed , Commands , and Prayer , and 'gainst his Will To the Kings foes , puts Dizzie Painter still , Sayes Woodcock was Church-warden , then cries Woe Over the Pulpit , and in mind to show Beggers at dore , how dreadfull to their trade Death is , he sets him working with a Spade . Nine dusty Seats , twelve Tressels , two crack'd Bels , Three broken Halters . And what ? Nothing else Goes to a Church ? The Chancell hath a Boord Worth nine pence ( most unworthy of the Lord ) With pretty home-spun Linsey-woolsey Spread Under the Linnen , whither ( scarce white ) Bread And cheape sowre wine , two hob-nail'd Wardens dragge In Gibeons Bottles , and course Pudding-bagge . All manners , and all decencie must be Laid by ; as much as bowing of the Knee , Unlawfull is , though Paul commands it so , Yet many new pure spirits doe say no . That Kneeling , comes so neere Idolatry ; T' avoid which , they will be so mannerly To be Christs fellow , and to sit at 's Table , And give his house like reverence as the stable . Thus sawcie Morrals ( vile and transitory ) Doe rob themselves of grace , and God of glory ; These rude behaviours every good man greeves , When Temples are esteem'd like dens of Theeves . Gods Worship this ! The great Kings Service ! see How odly madly God's and man's agree . The unequall or incomparable comparison . 'T Is strange that some Religions doe allow , That men to stocks and stones shall bend and bow ; And that the man that did the Image frame , Must kneele ( in adoration ) to the same ; Imploring aid , and hoping for a good From ragges and reliques , stones , and stocks of wood . Erecting Churches with great charge ( profuse ) For mans idolatry , and Gods abuse ; And think they merit their salvation . For impious works of superstition ; With Ceremonies such superfluous store , As Pagans , Jewes and Gentiles ne're had more ; With humble bending , bowing , crouching , creeping , With kneeling , crossing , penitentiall weeping , With slavish feare , and fearfull reverence , Preposterous zeale , and blind obedience ; They think 't too little , all they can or may In serving God ▪ the quite contrary way . On th'other side , a peevish crew doth lye ( Most perverse pure , in their impuritie ) And they so sparing of their manners bee , They 'le move no hat at Church , nor bend a knee ; And whilst they dwell in houses seel'd in State , Gods Houses must lye waste and desolate ; The consecrated Temples they 'le come in , Esteeming Reverence there to be a sinne , And that ( for holinesse ) there is no ods In manners , 'twixt his horses house and God's . But leaving this Saint-seeming holy crew , Who ( in their braines ) doe strange religions brew : Whose Grounds have neither Reason , Root or Pith , Which Patriarches were ne're acquainted with , Which from the Prophets were unknowne and hid , Which Christ and his Apostles did forbid , Which Councels , or old Fathers ne're decreed , Nor from the first true Church did e're proceed . If either Separatist , or Schismatique , Or Anabaptist , Hare-brain'd Heretique , From Scripture , Church , or Father could but show That reverently to God men should not bow , In triumph then , they might display their Banners , And shew some reason for their want of manners . To thee ( that read'st or hear'st ) these lines I send , That art so stiffe in th'hams , thou canst not bend ; Thou ought'st ( in feare and love ) bow downe thy knee To him , whose Grace and Love came downe to thee ; Oh fall before him that hath rais'd thee up , And ( for thy soules life ) drank Deaths bitter cup . Thy Body prostrate , that it may expresse Thy Soules intentions humble thankfulnesse ; As hee 's thy Maker , duteous honour doe him ; As hee 's a Judge offended , kneele unto him ; The Captive doom'd to hell for his offence , Ought kneele to Him that did redeeme him thence ; Fall downe , ( and with thy soule ) thy body bend , And then ( no doubt ) thy prayers will ascend ; For though Heaven be from Earth , a mighty space , The most High 's neer'st the lowly with his grace . An injur'd man oft-times such mercy feeles To pardon his offender , when he kneeles . Judge and condemne thy selfe , and then the fruit Will be , God will not Judgement execute . For free remission of thy sinnes unholy Thou canst not ( in thy gesture ) be too lowly ; He that 's asham'd to worship God , is then Like him that doth deny him before men . Then , if thy soule be touch'd with penitence Expresse it , with thy bodies reverence ; For though God of our kneeling hath no need , To blesse Humility he hath decreed . And not to kneele , when we Gods blessings seeke , Doth shew we neither lowly are or meeke . To bow thy heart , true faith doth thee perswade ; And he that made thy heart , thy knee hath made ; And since he hath made all , and every part Hee 'le have thy knees obedience , with thy Heart : Hee 'le have no halfes , he made , and will have all , And there 's no halting safe , 'twixt God and Baal . Beware therefore , when God thou com'st before , Thy rude behaviour not incense him more , Thy misery bewaile , upon thy knee And he ( from misery ) thy soule will free ; For as thou often kneel'st for daily Bread Wherewith thy earth-decaying corps is fed ; So forth ' Eternall Living Bread must thou Both heart and knee , both soule and body bow . The Prodigall with kneeling and with mourning Was grac'd , and feasted at his home-returning . That Christ to man Coheireship doth impart , 'T is Gods abundant Love , not mans desert ; His humble servants here , by him shall be Exalted to Eternall dignitie . Wilt thou , or dar'st thou ( thou fraile earthy clod ) Be fellow to th'Immortall Sonne of God , Or dar'st thou stand or sit with sawcie pride To entertaine thy Saviour glorifide ? Dost thou not know the Great Kings Seale of Heaven Is come from thence to thee , and to thee given , Wherein the pardon of thy sinnes is sign'd , Whereby thou may'st true peace of conscience find ? Whereas Christs Holy Spirit present is Wherewith his Grace doth blesse this work of his , Where Bread of Life , the bread doth sanctifie To all that Eat it , in Humilitie : Thou also ( in the Cup ) by faith may'st see His precious Blood , that deign'd to die for thee ; Which signes and figures of Remembrance must Put us in minde that we must firmely trust His Body offred for us , and his Blood Is All in All , the Summe of all our Good . He that Receives this , and will not afford To kneele and thank so Great , a Gracious Lord ; Is Atheist , Pagan , or besides his wits , Unworthy of such blessed Benefits . There is the figure of th'Eternall Feast , And thither Grace invites thee as a Guest , The Royall Robe , the wedding Garment there Is set before thee , for thy soule to weare ; The King is present , Angels wait on thee , And wilt thou not kneele downe , and thankfull be ? And now some proofes I plainly will unfold How good men worship'd God in times of old . When God ( who is for evermore I AM ) Did promise Isaac unto Abraham : The good old man his duty knew so well , That humbly bowing , on his face he fell . Moses did fall before the Lord , and pray He would from Isr'el turne his wrath away : Blest David all night on the earth did ly , And fast and pray in great humility . King Salomon did to this duty yeeld , That ( though his prayer was long ) he praying kneeld : Eliah humbly kneel'd , and prayd for raine , And blessed fruitfull showers he did obtaine : The Leper worship'd Christ , and faith procur'd That ( I WILL , BE THOU CLEANE ) was said , which cur'd : When our Humility is of such proofe , To know our selves unworthy that our roofe Christ should come under ; then such Grace we win , That then the King of Glory doth come in . The woman kneel'd , and beg'd , and her request Was granted , and the devill dispossest The man possest , with many fiends fell downe , And all the Legion to the swine were throwne . When Iairus kneel'd , and did for favour plead , His daughter was revived , that was dead . The woman with the bloody Issue fell , And kneel'd , and trembled , and she was made well . Among ten Lepers cur'd , Grace bore such sway , That one return'd , and tythe of Thanks did pay . Our Saviour ( humbly ) kneel'd and meekly prayd God his heavenly Father for his ayd . St. Peter kneel'd , and prayd unto the Lord , And Dorcas was from death to life restor'd . And blessed Paul with kneeling did implore , That God would blesse his Church fot evermore ; And when from Tyrus he did make repaire , He ( with the rest there ) humbly kneel'd in prayer . St. Steven kneel'd and prayd with veh'ment cryes , For his stone-hearted stony enemies . The slave did kneele , and from his Lord did get Forgivnesse for ten thousand talents debt . Th' Almighty ( by himselfe ) hath sworne and vowd , That every knee shall unto him be bow'd , In Heaven , in Earth , all things beneath the same , That every knee shall bowe at Iesus name . The wicked and accursed fiends of Hell In feare and trembling downe before him fell . In Heaven ( where endlesse Glories Saints doe crown ) The foure and twenty Elders doe fall downe , And worship him that sits upon the Throne , That lives for ever , the blest three in one : There Angels , Heav'ns , and all the Powers therein , The chaunting Cherubin and Seraphin Continually three Holies lowd doe cry Unto the Lord of Sabbothes majesty ; The Glory of whose majesty doth fill Both Heaven and Earth , whose praise is singing still By blest Apostles , Prophets , Martyres , and The holy Church through every Realme and Land ; All these doe knowledge him alone to be The Father of infinite majesty ; Whose honorable , true , and onely sonne By his obedience , hath our pardons wonne ; The Holy Ghost , the comforter of all Such as with stedfast faith for comfort call ; To this God , Good and Gracious , Glorious , Great , To him all knees must bowe , all soules entreat ; All those that will not bend , such power he hath That he will break them in his furious wrath ; 'T is well t' avoyd will-worship , but 't is ill To frame what kinde of worship each man will . When in the Temple we doe God implore ; 'T is God , and not the Temple we adore . The Priest did worship t'wards the mercy Seate , And 'twixt the Cherubins our God entreat ; He worship'd neither Seat , nor Cherubins , But only God that takes away our Sinns . And as on Sea and Land , in every place , With humble reverence we must sue for Grace : So in his Church , and houses consecrated , And to his service only dedicated , Wherein Christ Crucified is preach'd , where he In Word and Sacraments doth deigne to be , Sure , in those places , where Gods love is such ▪ All mens best manners cannot be too much . For though we owe God reverence everywhere ; Yet in the Church it best becomes us there ; When we participate most of his Grace , O , then , and there , shew manners in that place . The Saints in Heav'n doe kneele , and praise Gods name , And Saints on earth must likewise doe the same . O come let 's sing unto the Lord , rejoyce In our salvations strength , our hearts and voyce ; Let us ( with thanks ) before his face appeare , And shew ( in him ) with Psalmes our Gladnesse there : O , come , let 's worship , fall , and kneele before The Lord our maker , let us him adore . This doctrine David to the Church did teach , Which ( from those times to these ) all good men preach . Only a new fantastick upstart Troope Of proud contentious spirits , scorne to stoope . I have shewd proofes , and more I will produce , How men are bouud unto this reverent use . St. Paul repeats the places I have shewd , That every knee shall to the Lord be bowd ; For there 's no other name else under Heaven , But Iesus name , by whom Salvation 's given . Th'Apostle kneel'd , and told th' Ephesians why , To pray that Grace their faith might fructifie . In Iesus blessed name , our soules releife And life eternall doth consist in chiefe . In all we say or doe , we still must frame To say and doe ( with thanks ) in Iesus name ; Beleevers in this name , with faith most steady Are sav'd , and unbeleevers damn'd already . This name alone was the Apostle's ayde To dispossesse the devill from the mayd ; That from this name no bonds should make him flye , And for this name he willingly would dye . Full of such proofes as these the Scriptures are , Which to all people plainly doth declare That 't is th'Almighties Mandate and decree , That all , at Iesus name , shall bend the knee . And in all ages , till these times and dayes , The Churches practice it hath been alwayes ; And that ( amongst us ) this duty is not new , But Queene Elizabeths Injunctions view : Or else King Iames his eighteenth Canon read ; There ( by Authority ) 't is published . Archbishop Whitguift if you please to note In 's Book , which he 'gainst master Cartwright wrote , Maintaines , that all men must this duty doe ; ( Imprinted , page , seaven hundred forty two . ) And learned Hooker doth the same defend , In that rare Tract and Treatise which he pend , Ecclesiastick Polity instil'd ; The true use there , of Kneeling is compil'd , So absolute , acute , and exquisit ; That all the Christian world approveth it . Those unkneeling saucy Separatists Are often falsly called Calvinists : For master Calvin's flat against their side ; And they are all from his directions wide : He ( in his Institutions ) doth allow At Iesus name , that every Knee shall bowe ; Those that will read , may ( in five places ) finde ▪ How Calvin clearely hath declar'd his minde . Madde Innovaters , in their Consultations Doe nothing but cry out 'gainst Innovations ; Like he that rob'd himselfe , and by and by Cry'd theeves , theeves , and pursude with Hue and Cry . So these men have new fashion'd fangles found , Which have from Scripture or the Church no ground ; Whilst we in our Church Governement doe hold Not any thing but what 's authentique old : Yet vile Impuritans revile the State And Church ; when they themselves doe innovate . Sure they are Ignorants or Hypocrites That are inspir'd with these unholy fits ; And with a heav'd-up hand , and white of eye , They 'le doe a man a mischiefe zealously , And on religious points will stand most stoutly , But in conclusion cozzen men devoutly . These peoples braines are stuft with froath and bubbles , Their concord 's discord , and their peace is troubles . He that can measure smoake , or weigh the wind , Or to the Peace the restlesse Ocean bind ; Number the Starres , or Sands on Neptunes bounds ; Or take great Whales at Sea , with hunting hounds ; Make Mountaines swim , stop Rivers in their source , Or stay the Sunne in his Diurnall course : He that can doe all these , hath power and skill To fix these fellowes stedfast in their will . These are our Church and Ceremony haters , That love to fish in foule and troubled waters ; Swift in defame , their reason is their will , And Will shall be their reason , they say still . To end this point , they are a sort of youths , Whose judgements still are farthest off from truths , But He that in the Heavens doth reside , Doth see their malice , and their plots deride ; And though they rave and raile , our State shall stand Supported only , by th'Almighties hand . And through the venom'd vapours of their spight , Our Churches Government shall shine more bright . Their errours have beene answer'd , quash'd and quell'd , And often ( by grave learned men ) repell'd Their causes have beene canvas'd and disputed By Scriptures , Councels , Fathers , all confuted , Ecclesiastick Canons , Statutes , Lawes , Decrees , Sense , Reason , all against their Cause ; All Institutions , Orders , Decencie , And Ancient Custome tells them all , they Lye . But all these they esteeme at slender rate , For they have vow'd still to be obstinate . They'have beene refeld by wise-men , grave , and good , And learn'd , and still all these they have withstood ; Therefore they are unworthy of Reply From wise men , but from such poore fooles as I , To Answer their poore cavils , they are such , A Sculler 's fitter than a Scholler much . I know two Enemies Gods Church resists ( The Papists , and Schismatique Separatists ) And Shee ( alas ) like Christ betweene two Theeves , Prays daily for their Pardons and Repreeves . For why ? Betwixt the Romane Monarchie , And the severe Geneva Anarchie , Our Church disperseth her resplendent Beames , As blessed Vertue is 'twixt two extreames . For whilst Shee hath a biding in this world , From Wrong to Injury Shee 's daily hurl'd , From Scylla to Charibdis , flung and tost , And ( did not grace preserve her ) shee were lost . And yet Both those , that thus doe her oppose ( One 'gainst the other ) are inveterate foes , Yet both agreed , maliciously entic'st , Like Herod joyn'd with Pilate to kill Christ . 'T was our sinnes kill'd him ( as my faith avowes ) And shall we rend and teare his sacred Spouse ? ( The Church I meane ) O impious shame of shames ! Unworthy are all such of Christian names . The Ceremonies of our Church are three , Which neat , and decent , and convenient bee : Kneeling was one , which I have treated on ; The other two I le not be long upon . The Crosse in Baptisme , ( that most Christian Signe ) 'Gainst which these seeming Christians doe repine . About some seven and thirty yeares agone , When blest King Iames did grace Great Britains Throne , The first yeare over England that he reign'd , Canons and Constitutions were ordain'd , Wherein this Ceremony they derive From the true Church that is call'd Primitive . For then the Ethnicks , and the faithlesse Iewes Did both th'Apostles , and the rest abuse , Because they did beleeve and preach Christ dy'd And suffring on a Crosse , was crucifi'd 'Mongst mis-beleevers ; all Christians were then Derided and esteem'd the scorne of men ; The Christians ( deeming all the world as drosse ) T' expresse their constant faith , profest the Crosse . The Iewes did mock the Christians ; and againe , The Christians gloried in the Jewes disdaine ; The scornes of men , not daunted them awhit , The Crosse ( their comfort ) they rejoyc'd in it , They lov'd the Crosse , and triumph'd in the same , And ( for the Crosse ) were never fear'd with shame . Since then the Greeke and Latine Church combinde With great applause , and one consent of minde , That ( at Baptizings ) every Church and Nation Should Signe all Christned in each Congregation With that most Christian Badge , to shew that we From world , flesh , fiend , and sinfull lusts must flee , And under our Redeemers Banner fight 'Gainst sinne , the Devill , and the worlds delight . These reasons plainly doe demonstrate this ; This Ceremony now , no new thing is , Nor yet from Rome did first admittance win , For from th'Apostles times it did begin ; Yet had it come from Rome , the Roman faith Was Famous through the world , th'Apostle saith ; And those that will have nothing that was there , Must neither have Gods Church , his Grace , nor feare . The Romish Church was Right , for many yeares , Till ( 'mongst their wheat ) the Envious man sow'd tares : Wherefore we first began to leave her quire , When shee began to mingle wrong with right . Shee parted not from us , but we from her , And we left her in all that she did Erre : As farre as shee leaves Christ , 't is good that we Should so farre from her Errors sundred be ; The Romane Church was Right ; but superstition Hath made her Wrong , and altred her condition : Her Errors ( not her Essence ) we oppose , With prayers and teares we doe resist our foes ; And they allow our Service and our Prayers Are good , and that we leave much good of theirs ; But let them keep what 's good : Let us be glad That we have left them ( only ) in what 's bad . And for the signe o' th Crosse , no man that lives Doth think it vertue unto Baptisme gives ; 'T is but a Ceremony ( us'd of old ) Which signes Christs sheepe and lambes into his fold ; All Emperours and Kings , who Christ professe , All Potentates and Princes ( great or lesse ) Their Hatchments , Armes , Escoucheons , every one , The figure of the Crosse is formed on ; Their Banners , Ensignes , Flaggs , and golden Crownes , The Crosse's figures fix'd for their Renownes : And by the Ball and Crosse , the world may see , That underneath the Crosse the world must be , And by the Crosse they shew ( by signes externall ) The Christian Faith ( professed ) is supernall ; All Christian Coynes doe , likewise Crosses beare , ( But those put not our Puritans in feare ) The sight of those , to them are much delicious , They only unto such are superstitious , They love them , with such zeale and verity , They 'l never part with them in charity . The Crosse's use prov'd since th'Apostles time , Through th' ancient practice of the Church cald Prime And in the raigne of th' Emperour Constantine , All Christians that were baptiz'd , had this Signe , And that from thence unto these very dayes ; This Ceremony hath been us'd alwayes , By Christians through all Christendome so grac'd , So long a time with great regard embrac'd . Shall any proud Scismatique , impure crew , Dare offer to suppresse't or call it new ▪ It addes no vertue to the Sacrament , Nor is it us'd for any such intent ; For after Baptisme's done , our Church doth use To signe with th' Crosse ( which wranglers doe abuse ) Thus 't is a decent and indifferent thing , And from it doth no superstition spring , Yet not so ' indifferent any should withstand it ; It must be ; for the King and Church command it ; Th' Almighty doth the Higher Powers ordaine ; And Kings beare not the sword for nought , in vaine : And seeing this command is just and good , It neither ought , nor must not be withstood ; All power proceeds from God , therefore submit , And scape Gods judgement in obeying it . We must not dare to conster , mould , or fashion The Scriptures to each mans interpretation ; And surely , the unlearned and unstable , To understand hard Scriptures are unable . The Lords thoughts , and his wayes , are his , not ours , And high as Heaven from Earth , above our powers . Where God commands , weake men must not dispute , And where they understand nor , there be mute . Then , as the King is Gods Leivetenant here , Obey in conscience , not in slavish feare , And as the Church and State , with paines and cares Ordain'd good Lawes obey'd for many yeares . What bold audacious spirits then are they That King , Church , State and Lawes thus disobey ? Ten millions of their braines can ne're devise A book so good as that which they despise ; ( The Common Prayer I meane ) if they should sit Ten thousand yeares , with all their Art and witt , They would prove Coxcombs all , and in the end , Leave it as 't is , too good for them to mend . These are the Crew that under faire pretences , By flatt'ry cause division and offences , These serve not the Lord Iesus Christ a jot , They are their bellyes servants ( well I wot ) With adulating speech , and faire deceit , They doe the hearts of simple people cheat ; Contentious men that doe contention crave ; We , nor the Church of God such custome have : And thus to these crosse men I have declar'd How much of old the Crosse was in regard , And though the Papists use it with abuse , That cannot take away the lawfull use ; For though a golden Idoll be a curse , That makes not God ( well us'd ) to be the worse . Materiall Crosses made of wood or stone , ( Through zeale ) most of them are cast downe and gone , From age to age , the Sires to their succession ; Those Crosses stood t' expresse our faiths profession ; But when th' abuse of them began to grow , That to those Crosses Sotts would creepe or bow , For this cause ( chiefly ) they were overthrowne , Abus'd from their first use , were beaten downe ; But our Crosse us'd in Baptisme , still hath beene A signe invisible , yet never seene : Nor doth it on the Infants face appeare That ever any Crosse was figur'd there . Then what madde men are those , that beare such spleene Against a thing , not to be felt , or seene , Yet heard ( though hardly to be understood ) By many of the perverse brotherhood ? For of their constant faith we may despaire Who are affraid of shaddowes in the ayre . And thus much for the Crosse may well suffice To give content to all , except precise Now , for the Surplice , which is third and last Of Ceremonies , which make fooles agast : Such as doe prize it as a ragge of Rome , An issue of the Whore of Babels wombe ; Such as doe hold it ( for their Sect ) more meete To suffer penance in a milk-white sheete , And think it better doth affect their sight , Than in the Church to see a Surplice white . These Amsterdamnable opinions runne , As fierce as pellets from an Elder-gunne ; Their witt 's lesse than their reverend beards by halfe , And each of them as wise as Walthams calfe , And wisedome is as thick amongst the rout As Water-grewell when the Oate-meale's out . Yet they are wise enough , with tooth and nayle , To libell , and talke nonsense , rave , and rayle , And with a scandalous and vile intent , To cast contempt upon all government ; Now , for an answer to their cavilling , ( Who are indeed not worth the answering ) Note , what high names the Holy Ghost hath pend , To honour such as on his Church attend ; For their great dignity he doth afford To call them Angels , in his sacred word ; To the Angel of the Church of Ephesus , Of Smyrna , Sardis , and of Pergamus , Of Thyatira , Philadelphia , And of the ( luke-warme ) Laodicea ; To these seaven Ministers St. Iohn did write , And gave them each an Angels Epithite ; And heavenly Angels often did appeare , In vestures white as snow , bright , pure and cleare : Which doth denote that Church-men ought to be In Doctrine sound , and in integrity , Angelical , white , cleane and cleare , unspotted , Wherefore the Surplice was to them allotted To be an Emblem of pure Sanctitie , And for distinction of their qualitie ; Whereby , the ministeriall function may Be knowne , and well distinguisht from the Lay. And as on White a spot is soonest seene , So with , Gods Ministers it still hath beene ; A Lay-mans crimes like little Glo-wormes glow , A Church-man's like prodigious Comets show ; Therefore the Surplice was , on good pretence , Giv'n as a Robe of spotlesse Innocence , To shew ( that though all men are sinfull , fraile ) Pastors should be most cautious how they faile ; Because so many looke on them and prie , And to their conversations have an eye . The Surplice came from Rome , I dare confesse , ( What tho , 't is not to be esteem'd the lesse ) Nay more , it was Romes Bishop did ordaine it , And yet that not a jot at all doth staine it . Pope Stephen liv'd , as by Record appeares , Since Christ , two hundred , fiftie and two yeares ; And as his Name was Steven , so his fate Was , that he did Saint Stephen imitate . When Decius was the Romane Emperour , That Pope dy'd by that Pagan Tyrants power ; He ( for his Saviour ) suffred Martyrdome , And he ordain'd the Surplice first in Rome . Thus , when the Church was in her prime perfection , This vestment was ordain'd by good direction , For order , ornament , and decencie , And not for perverse Non-conformitie . There were no Brethren then so out of frame To think cleane linnen was the Churches shame ; No , they beleev'd That long white Robes in Heaven To th'everlasting blessed should be given ; And in that place sev'n Angels did appeare , And they all pure white linnen Robes did weare ; Pure , fine , white shining linnen doth expresse The Saints most ever happie blessednesse : And at the Marriage of the Lambe 't is said The Church ( Christs Spouse ) in white shall be array'd . And when our Saviour ( graciously ) did shew His Glory , to Iohn , Iames , and Peters view ; His face shin'd as the Sunne , his cloaths as white As was the radient luster of the light : Yea , very white as Snow , and that no Fuller Upon the earth can make so white a colour ; And therefore with our glorious Blest Messias Appear'd two good men , Moses and Elias . Thus spotlesse Innocence , Immaculate , In most pure white was seene in glorious State . Thus Angels , Saints , and blest immortall Spirits ( Who are where all true happinesse inherits ) And Christ , when he his three Disciples led To Tabor's Mount , and was Transfigured , They all wore Linnen white , ( or like the same ) They did themselves in their appearance frame ; The Saints wore white , as figures mysticall , Christ as a glorious Robe Majesticall . Which shewes Gods Ministers ( in Imitation ) May weare a Surplice in the Congregation ; For men ( on Earth ) are in the best estate , Who doe the Saints in Heaven most imitate : These Ceremonies ( Three ) are prov'd to be Past fifteene hundred yeares Antiquitie : And they that murmure , prate , and call them New , Are Corahs , Dathans , and Abirams crew . 'T is falsely call'd Religion that doth cause Men to resist God's , King's , and Churches Lawes , They being all from Gods decree deriv'd So long us'd , with such charge and care contriv'd , So Tolerable to be undergone , So necessary , easie to be done , So reverend ( in their use ) discreet , and neat , Most decent ( as I did before repeat ) That they who 'gainst them doe revile and brawle , Are ( in their fiery zeale ) Topheticall ; T is not Religion , 'T is Divillitie T' oppose the King , 'T is bad Divinitie . And what a fine Church were we like to have If these companions had what they would crave ? Yet not to wrong their learning in a letter , 'T is knowne , no men can raile or libell better , As if th'had learn'd of Oyster-wives to prate At th'Universitie of Bellinsgate . Cain sacrific'd , and Iesabel did fast , Prince Absolom some silly fooles embrac'd , So Iudas kis'd when as to kill he meant , So Pilate wash'd , yet was corruptly bent , So Ananias brought his feigned gift , So Satan alleag'd Scripture for a shift : These were all Hypocrites , and so are you , Pretending Truths , intending nothing true : Whose glazen Arguments will bide no hammer , For they are but bad Logick , and worse Grammar . Their suppositions , false mistrusts and doubts They prove with nothing else but lyes and flouts . A Good cause may be spoil'd , and quite disgrac'd By indiscretion , and by words misplac'd : But these mens causes being bad , their course And filthy language makes it much the worse . And these sweet Rules and Grounds they doe professe As mighty Maxims of their holinesse . Such men , who in authoritie are great , With Envie still are round about be set : They are not only blam'd so doing ill , Put for not doing all that all men will . Their honours are so mixt with toyles and cares Which oft ( before old Age ) doth bring gray haires ; Their broken sleepes make us more soundly sleepe , Their unrest doth in rest and peace us keepe , And whilst the Peasant takes his sweet repose , The Peere is round behem'd with oates and woes . No labour 's like the labour of the minde , And Kings rich Crownes with pricking Thorns are linde . Shall we be disobedient then to such , Who for our peace disturbed are so much ? Shall Hell-hounds dare aspersions base to fling 'Gainst those that thus fewe God , the Church and King ? No ; let 's implore th'Eternall Majestie , To guide and guard their true integritie . To draw to end , kind brethren , take advice , In things indifferent be not over-nice , Presume not to binde Princes Wills to yours ; Love , and seeke Peace , obey superiour powers ; Stand to the Faith , doe more good Workes I pray , And serve not God the cleane contrary way . And now my pen in Quiet shall Remaine , Except some mad-men Rouse it up againe . FINIS . Lenvoy , or Postscript . FRom wronging of my King , from State reviling , From Libels writing or in Print compiling : From troubling of my coxcombe , braines , or mazzard , From putting my estate or eares in hazzard : From seeking things that are beyond my reach ; From dreaming I could all the Clergie teach ; From Pride , Vain-glory , and Hypocrisie , From striving to obtaine a Pillory , And from deserving of the triple Tree , Good Lord of Heaven and Earth deliver mee . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13438e-840 They have neither Scriptures , examples of Patriarches , Prophets , Apostles , Councels , Ancient Fathers , nor the Primitive first true Church , but all are against them in this point of duty . Gen. 17.17 . Deut. 9.18 . 2 Sam. 12.16 . 1 Kings 8.54 . 2 Chron. 6.15 . 1 Kings 18.42 . Math. 8.2 . Mark . 1.4 . Luke 5 12. Math. 8.8 . Luke 7.6 . Mark . 7.25 . Luk. 8.28 . Luk. 8.41 . Luk. 8.47 . Luk. 17.16 . Luk. 1● . 4 . Mat. 26.39 . Mark . 14.35 . Acts 9.36.40 . Acts 20.36 . Acts 7.60 . Mat. 18.26 . Isay 45.23 . God did swear here ; and it is not in mans power to make him call it back . Phil 2.10 . Mark 3.11 . Revel. 4.10 . The non-Conformist may perceive by these comands and examples that kneeling and boweing must be used but the Scripture doth not commad standing or sitting or disobeying in any place . Private men must not frame what worship they will . Exod. 37.6 . 1 Kings 6.23 . Psal. 91. Rom. 14.11 . Acts 4.12 . Eph. 3.14 . Ioh. 20.31 . Coloss. 3 17. Ioh. 3.18 . Acts 16.18 . Acts 21.13 . Injunct . 52. Lib. 5. §. 30. page 148. Calvins Institutions lib. 1. cap. 13. §. 24. lib. 2. c. 11. §. 12 lib. 2. c. 14. §. 3. lib. 2. c. 15. §. 5. lib. 3. c. 5. in all these places Calvinis plain for the reverend use and practice of this duty . Canon and Constitution Ecclesiasticall 30 , Anno primo Iacobi 1603. Or published . ●m 1.8 . Rom. 13.1.2 . 2 Pet. 1.20 . 2 Pet. 3.16 . Isay 55.89 . We ought to obey the King in love , for conscience sake , especially in such of his commands as are not contrary to Gods word . Rom. 16.17.18 . ● Cor. 11. Some 12 〈◊〉 since at Te●●●bury in Gl●●●●stershire , a 〈◊〉 cise Church warden put downe a 〈◊〉 of stone caused a h●●● trough to made of 〈◊〉 top of it ; his hogs 〈◊〉 mad and 〈◊〉 and he his whole family came ●●●denly to chances o● timely end 〈◊〉 . 1.2 . 〈◊〉 . 28.3 . 〈◊〉 . 16.15 . 〈◊〉 . 24. 〈◊〉 20.12 . This Pope Stephen was a glorious Martyr , beheaded by Decius the 29 Emperor from Iulius Caesar , of which 29 only 16 did reigne but 45 yeares of 252 yeares time after Christ . And in those times many Popes were put to death by those Tyrants , because they would not deny their Christian faith . Revel. 6.11 . & 7.9 . Revel. 15.8 . Revel. 19.8 . Matth. 17.2 , 3. Mar. 9.5 , 4. Luke 9 29. 
A13442	----	Drinke and vvelcome: or The famous historie of the most part of drinks, in use now in the kingdomes of Great Brittaine and Ireland with an especiall declaration of the potency, vertue, and operation of our English ale. With a description of all sorts of waters, from the ocean sea, to the teares of a woman. As also, the causes of all sorts of weather, faire or foule ... Compiled first in the high Dutch tongue, by the painefull and industrious Huldricke Van Speagle, a grammaticall brewer of Lubeck, and now most learnedly enlarged, amplified, and translated into English prose and verse. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1637 Approx. 54 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 14 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13442 STC 23749 ESTC S118210 99853418 99853418 18801 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13442) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18801) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:11) Drinke and vvelcome: or The famous historie of the most part of drinks, in use now in the kingdomes of Great Brittaine and Ireland with an especiall declaration of the potency, vertue, and operation of our English ale. With a description of all sorts of waters, from the ocean sea, to the teares of a woman. As also, the causes of all sorts of weather, faire or foule ... Compiled first in the high Dutch tongue, by the painefull and industrious Huldricke Van Speagle, a grammaticall brewer of Lubeck, and now most learnedly enlarged, amplified, and translated into English prose and verse. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [28] p. Printed by Anne Griffin, London : 1637. In fact an original work by Taylor; "Van Speagle" is a fiction. Partly in verse. Signatures: A-C⁴ D² . The last leaf is blank. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Beverages -- Early works to 1800. Water -- Early works to 1800. Weather -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2002-12 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Drinke and welcome : OR THE FAMOVS HISTORIE of the most part of Drinks ▪ in use now in the Kingdomes of Great Brittaine and Ireland ; with an especiall declaration of the potency , vertue , and operation of our English ALE. With a description of all sorts of Waters , from the Ocean sea , to the teares of a Woman . As also , The causes of all sorts of weather , faire or soule , Sleet , Raine , Haile , Frost , Snow , Fogges , Mists , Vapours , Clouds , Stormes , Windes , Thunder and Lightning . Compiled first in the high Dutch tongue , by the painefull and industrious Hvldricke Van Speagle , a Grammaticall Brewer of Lubeck , and now most Learnedly enlarged , amplified , and Translated into English Prose and Verse . By IOHN TAYLOR . LONDON , Printed by ANNE GRIFFIN . 1637. THE FAMOVS HISTORIE of the most part of Drinks , in use now in the Kingdomes of Great Brittaine and Ireland ; with an especiall declaration of the potency , vertue , and operation of our English ALE. Compiled first in the high Dutch tongue , by the painefull and industrious Huldricke Van Speagle , a Gramaticall Brewer of Lubeck , and now most Learnedly enlarged , amplified , and Translated into English. By IOHN TAYLOR . I Huldrick Van Speagle , doe ingeniously confesse my boldnesse , and crave pardon of the Brittains and Irish Nation ; for that I ( being a stranger ) have presumed to write of such Drinkes as are Potable in their Climates and Countries ; with such particularities of their Originals and vertues , as I have by experience and practise , with my collections out of divers learned Authors gathered . I purpose not to insist in a methodicall way , but according to my quality in a plaine and briefe Relation . It is not unknowne to men of any reading , that this Iland which hath now regaind it's ancient name of Great Brittaine , was by Brute inhabited by the remainders of some scattered and dispersed Trojans : the drinkes they used in their best and worst of fortunes after their plantation here , are observed to bee these ; Syder , Perry , Metheglin , Mead , Bragget , Pomperkin , and chiefely , though lastly , Ale , with its appendix Beere . Of which in order . Syder . SYder ( whose Anagram is Desyr ) desires and deserves the first place , as being the most ancient : it is made of Apples , and is of that antiquity , that it is thought by some to have beene invented and made by Eve , and afterwards practised by Cain , who by the making of it in the time of his vagrancy , got a very competent estate . Certainely it was a most frequent and usuall drinke amongst the Trojans , and was with the remainder of that Nation , first brought into this Iland : It is called Syder a Sydera , ( as the Dictionary tels me ) of the Starres , whose influence in those Heathenish times was much invoked in the composure of that most excellent liquor , whereof my native Country of the County of Glocestershire most plentifully flowes ; It doth much refrigerate and qualifie the inward heat of man , it is also very purgative , and cleanseth the small guts of all viscous humours , and is much meliorated by the addition of Sugar , in which way being taken the poorest cottage in Wales that affords it , outvies the Sollyard , and the men of that Countrey may without blushing ( their ordinary vertue ) paralell it with the glory of the Rhine . Perry . PErry is more Aromaticke , being made of Peares , from whence it seemes to have its Appellation : there is much disagreement amongst ancient and moderne Writers about the antiquity , originall , and derivation of the name of it ; Gorbonus the Lacedemonian sales , it was first made in Syria by one Pericles . Trappoza ( a most learned Theban ) ascribes it to one Periander : Nimpsbagg will have it from Persepolis a City in Persia : but some Brittains will , that desire to vindicate the Antiquity of times , of one Parry , a Nephew to Cadwallader the great , the last King of the Brittains , who was most ●●●ious in the composure of liquids of this nature . Others would seeme to derive it from Perrue in America , who in regard of the luxuriant soyle , and salubrious ayre abounded wonderfully with Peares ; alleadging that Mangotapon one of the seven that hid themselves in a cave , called Particumbo , at that great deluge of the world , was at his comming forth ( for he liv'd to come forth ) the first compounder of this drinke , which in honour of his Country he then called Perrue . Amongst all these various opinions of forraigne Authors , common experience tels us , that Worcestershire is our Brittish Maggazin , or plentifull store-house for Perry ; nor will I seeke further to dispute the poynt , the drinke being usuall and equall with what hath beene said before of Syder . It is very availeable in quenching of thirst , good against obstructions of the liver and spleene , and most effectuall against contagious diseases , by the opinion of the Brittish Doctours , to whose treatises I referre the learned for larger instructions . Metheglin and Mead. MEtheglin , and Meade in regard of the coherence of their conditions , I may very well handle them together , without any disparagement to either ; how ever there bee some preportion in their severall compositions , yet the maine Ingredient being Honey stands allowable to both . The common appellation of the first by the name of Mathew Glinn , ( although it seeme a Nick't name to the world ) is generally received by the History of Monmoth , to be the Authours name of this Mellifluous mixture : for this Mathew dwelling in a Valley ( for so the word Glinn imports Englished from the Welsh ) being master of a very great stocke of Bees , and wanting vent for the issue of their labours , in an abundant yeare betooke himselfe wholy to his study , and being most ingenious in things of this nature , in a short time he profited so well , as out of his maternall or mother-wit , of himselfe he perfected this rare composure . This name being now ingeminated by the quotidian calls of his well disposed Countreymen , renders it vendible in the most municipall Townes of those parts , at the rates of six pence the quart , which is the most predominant price of any of our homebred liquors . Concerning the vertues of it , it is to be held in most extraordinary regard , for it is purgative in respect of the Mell ( or Honey ) and of singular efficacy against Tremor Cordis ; indeed the overmuch taking of it is to a melancholicke man in the nature of an Opiate , and therefore to be refused ( if not taken with caution ) by men of that constitution . Mead or Meath . FOr Meade or Meath ( as some will have it ) there are diverse unwarrantable Authors that would wrest the originall and derivation of the name from Medusa , the inchantresse , some there are that the crewell Media was the inventor of it : but Padesh shellum Shagh , a learned Gimnosophist ( whose opinion I most leaue unto ) in his ninth booke of Hidromancy , faith , that it was a drinke in use and potable by the Medes and Persians in the first erection of that Monarchy ( from whence most significantly it hath the name ) and that a Brittish Lord , a favourite of a Soldan there , first brought it to these parts , the Receipt being freely bestowed upon him , for his especiall service ; in the beliefe of all which , I must crave pardon , that I am not guilty , but I rather thinke it as an abstract from the former , however it hath some severall vertues , but in regard of the cheapnesse it is now growne contemptible , being altogether ecclipsed by the vertue of Metheglin . Braggot . THe next to be handled is Braggot , a drinke in my opinion , not much beholding to antiquity , although some extant writings of the Barley avouch the receipt for the making of it to be sent over from the Emperour of the East , to Liolin the great Prince of Wales . This drinke is of a most hot nature , as being compos'd of Spices , and if it once scale the sconce , and enter within the circumclusion of the Perricranion , it doth much accelerate nature , by whose forcible attraction and operation , the drinker ( by way of distribution ) is easily enabled to afford blowes to his brother ; it is hot in the third degree , in which respect it is held medicinable , against all cold diseases of the Stomacke . Pomperkin . THe sixt sort of Brittish drinkes is Pomperkin , a drinke whose originall was from Pomeranea ( a Province in Germany ) as some writers relate . Some derive it from the Pomponii ( a Noble Roman family ) however Authors differ about it , it is not much materiall ; most certaine it is that it is made of Apples , as the name of it imports ; being nothing but the Apples bruised and beaten to mash , with water put to them , which is a drinke of so weake a condition that it is no where acceptable but amongst the Rusticks and Plebeyans , being a heartlesse liquor much of the nature of Swillons in Scotland , or small Beere in England , such as is said to be made of the washings of the Brewers legges and aprors ; and I doe most yeeld to their opinions that the first Authour of Pomperkin was Perkin Warbecke in the raigne of Henry the seventh , who in his private retirements and Iurking holes , had occasion to practise the thrifty making of this infusion . It is of an Hidropicall and Aquarian operation , the vigour of it doth seldome evaporate upward or ascend to the braine , and being it is likewise of a coroading condition , yet the Brittish bodies being well antidoted with their compounded Creame , Whig , Whey , and Butter-milke ; in their constitutions it becomes matter of nutriment . Ale. HAving gone thus farre , it remaines that I speak something of what hath been , and now is used by the English , as well since the Conquest , as in time of the Brittains , Saxons , and Danes , ( for the former recited drinks , are to this day confin'd to the Principality ) so as we enjoy them onely by a statute called the courtesie of Wales . And to perfect my discourse in this I shall onely induce them into two heads , viz. the unparaleld liquor called Ale , with his Abstract Beere ; whose antiquity amongst a sort of Northerne pated fellowes is if not altogether contemptible , of very little esteeme ; this humour moved the scurrilous pen of a shamelesse writer in the raigne of King Henry the third , detractingly to inveigh against this unequal'd liquor . Thus For muddy , foggy , fulsome , puddle , stinking , For all of these , Ale is the onely drinking . Of all Authours that I have ever yet read , this is the onely one that hath attempted to brand the glorious splendor of that Ale-beloved decection ; but observe this fellow , by the perpetuall use of water ( which was his accustomed drinke ) he fell into such convulsion and lethargick diseases , that he remained in opinion a dead man ; however the knowing Physicians of that time , by the frequent and inward application of Ale , not onely recovered him to his pristine estate of health , but also enabled him in body and braine for the future , that he became famous in his writings , which for the most part were afterwards spent with most Aleoquent and Alaborate commendation of that Admired and most superexcellent Imbrewage . Some there are that affirme that Ale was first invened by Alexander the Great , and that in his conquests this liquor did infuse much vigour and valour into his souldiers . Others say that famous Physician of Piemont ( named Don Alexis ) was the founder of it . But it is knowne that it was of that singular vse in the time of the Saxons that none were allowed to brew it but such whose places and qualities were most eminent : insomuch that we finde that one of them had the credit to give the name of a Saxon Prince , who in honour of that rare quality , he called Alla. Some Aleadge that it being our drinke when our Land was called Albion , that it had the name of the Countrey : Twiscus in his Euphorbium will have it from Albania , or Epirus , VVolfgang Plashendorph of Gustenburg , saies that Alecto ( one of the three furies ) gave the receipt of it to Albumazer a Magician , and he ( having Aliance with Aladine the Soldan at Aleppo ) first brewed it there , whereto may be Aleuded , the story how Alphonsus of Scicily , sent it from thence to the battell of Alcazor . My Authour is of Anaxagoras opinion , that Ale is to be held in high price for the nutritive substance that it is indued withall , and how precious a nurse it is in generall to Mankinde . It is true that the overmuch taking of it doth so much exhilerate the spirits , that a man is not improperly said to be in the Aletitude ( observe the word I pray you , and all the words before or after ) for you shal finde their first syllable to be Ale , and some writers are of opinion that the Turkish Alcaron was invented by Mahomet out of such furious raptures as Ale inspir'd him withall ; some affirme Bacchus ( Alias Liber Pater ) was the first Brewer of it , among the Indians , who being a stranger to them they named it Ale , as brought to them by an Alien ; in a word , Somnus alt●● signifies dead sleepe : Quies alta , Great rest ; Altus and Alta noble and excellent : It is ( for the most part ) extracted out of the spirit of a Graine called Barley , which was of that estimation amongst the ancient Galles that their Prophets ( whom they called Bardi ) used it in their most important prophesies and ceremonies : This Graine , after it had beene watred and dryed , was at first ground in a Mill in the Island of Malta , from whence it is supposed to gaine the name of Malt ; but I take it more proper from the word Matteolus , which signifies a Hammer or Maule , for Hanniball ( the great Carthaginian Captaine ) in his sixteene yeeres warres against the Romanes , was called the Maule of Italie , for it is conjectured that he victoriously Mauld them by reason that his Army was daily refreshed with the spiritefull Elixar of Mault . It holds very significant to compare a man in the Aletitude to be in a planetarie height ; for in a Planet , the Altitude is his motion in which he is carried from the lowest place of Heaven or from the Center of the Earth , into the most highest place , or unto the top of his Circle , and then it is said to be in Apogaeo , that is the most Transcendent point of all , so the Sublunarie of a stupified Spirit , being elevated by the efficacious vigour of this uncontroleable vertue , renders him most capeable for high actions . I should be voluminous , if I should insist upon all pertinent and impertinent passages in the behalfe of Ale , as also of the retentive fame that Yorke , Chester , Hull , Nottingham , Darby , Gravesend , with a Toaste , and other Countries still enjoy , by making this untainted liquor in the primitive way , and how VVindsor doth more glory in that Composition than all the rest of her speculative pleasures , which is dayly strengthened by the Agitive endeavours of the most pregnant spirits there , whose superlative issue affords us a quotidian expectation , and questionlesse cannot but succeed with generall applause in regard of the undertakers ; Also there is a Towne neere Margate in Kent , ( in the Isle of Thanett ) called Northdowne , which Towne hath ingrost much Fame , Wealth , and Reputation from the prevalent potencie of their Atractive Ale. I will onely now speake somewhat of its vertues , and in the weakenesse of my expressions shall crave pardon , of those many and learned Doctors of our Time , whose daily and gustave Approbation addes to the glorious Splendour of that unequall'd Element . Concerning the fructifying or fruitfulnesse of Ale , it is almost incredible , for twice every yeere there is a Faire at a small Towne called Kimbollon , or Kimolton in North-hamptonshire , ( as I take it ) in which towne there are but 38. houses , which at the Faire time are encreased to 39. Alehouses , for an old woman and her daughter doe on those dayes divide there one house into two , such is the operation and encreasing power of our English Ale. First then , it is a singular remedy against all melancholick diseases , Tremor cordis , and Maladies of the spleene , it is purgative and of great operation against Iliaca passio , and all gripings of the small guts , it cures the stone in the Bladder , Reines or Kidneyes , and provokes Vrin wonderfully , it mollifies Tumors and swellings in the body , and is very predominant in opening the obstructions of the Liver . It is most effectuall for clearing of the sight , being applied outwardly , it asswageth the unsufferable paine of the Gowt called Artichicha Podagra , or Gonogra , the Yeast or Barme being laid hot to the part pained , in which way it is easefull to all Impostumes or the paine in the Hippe called Sciatica passio ; Indeed the immoderate taking of it ( as of the best things ) is not commended , for in some it causes swimming in the head and Vertigo , ( but I speake still of moderation ) in which respect it is not onely availeable for the causes aforesaid , but for all defluxions and Epidemicall diseases whatsoever , and being Butter'd ( as our Gallenists well observe ) it is good against all Contagious diseases , Feavers , Agues , Rhumes , Coughes and Catarres with Hernia Aquosa & vertosa . I might proceed to nominate the Townes of the Kingdome that have their happinesse to enjoy their names from Ale , Alesfoord , in Hampshire , and Alesbury ( or Aylesbury ) in Buckinghamshire , Where the making of Aleberries so excellent against Hecticks was first invented . As also of many Sirnames of great worth in this Kingdome , as these of Ale-iff , Ale-worth , Good-ale , Penny-Ale , and in Scotland , the generous and antient name of Lamsd-Ale , but not to insist further , in this straine , I make no question , but the Capacious apprehension of a free understanding will spare me that labour . I will therefore shut up all with that admirable conclusion insisted upon in our time by a discreet Gentleman in a solemn Assembly , who , by a politick observation , very aptly compares Ale and Cakes with Wine and Wafers , neither doth he hold it sit that it should stand in Competition with the meanest Wines , but with that most excellent Composition which the Prince of Physitians Hippocrates had so ingenuously compounded for the preservation of mankinde , and which ( to this day ) speakes the Author by the name of Hippocras , so that you see of Antiquity , Ale was famous amongst the Troians , Brittaines , Romans , Saxons , Danes , Normans , English men , VVelch , besides in Scotland , from the highest and Noblest Palace to the poorest or meanest Cottage , Ale is universall , and for Vertue it stands allowable with the best receipts of the most Antientest Physitians ; and for its singular force in expulsion of poison is equall , if not exceeding that rate Antidote so seriously invented by the Pontique King , which from him ( till this time ) carries his name of Mitbridate . And lastly , not onely approved by a National Assembly , but more exemplarily remonstrated by the frequent use of the most knowing Physitians , who for the wonderfull force that it hath against all the diseases of the Lungs , Justly allow the name of a Pulmonist to every Alebrewer . The further I seeke to goe the more unable I finde my selfe to expresse the wonders ( for so I may very well call them ) operated by Ale , for that I shall abruptly conclude , in consideration of mine owne insufficiency , with the fagge-end of an old mans old will , who gave a good summe of mony to a Red-fac'd Ale-drinker , who plaid upon a Pipe and Tabor , which was this : To make your Pipe and Tabor keepe their sound , And dye your Crimson tincture more profound , There growes no better med'cine on the ground , Than Aleano ( if it may be found ) To buy which drug , I give a hundred pound . Ale is rightly called Nappy , for it will set a nap upon a mans threed bare eyes when he is sleepy . It is called Merry-goe-downe , for it slides downe merrily ; It is fragrant to the sent ; It is most pleasing to the taste ; The flowring and mantling of it ( like Chequer worke ) with the Vendant smiling of it , is delightfull to the sight , it is Touching or Feeling to the Braine and Heart ; and ( to please the senses all ) it provokes men to singing and mirth , which is contenting to the Hearing . The speedy taking of it doth comfort a heavy and troubled minde ; it will make a weeping widow laugh and forget sorrow for her deceased husband ; It is truly termed the spirit of the Buttry ( for it puts spirit into all it enters , ) It makes the footmans Head and heeles so light , that he seemes to flie as he runnes ; It is the warmest lineing of a naked mans Coat , ( that 's a Bull ) It satiates and asswageth hunger and cold ; with a Toaste it is the poore mans comfort , the Shepheard , Mower , Plowman , Labourer and Blacksmiths most esteemed purchase ; It is the Tinkers treasure , the Pedlers Jewell , the Beggers Joy , and the Prisoners loving Nurse ; it will whet the wit so sharp , that it will make a Catter talke of matters beyond his reach ; It will set a Bashfull suiter a woing ; It heates the chill blood of the Aged ; It will cause a man to speake past his owne or any others mans capacity , or understanding ; It sets an edge upon Logick and Rhetorick ; It is a friend to the Muses ; It inspires the poore Poet , that cannot compasse the price of Canarie or Gasenigne ; It mounts the Musician bove Eela ; It makes the Balladmaker Rime beyond Reason , It is a Repairer of a decaied Colour in the face ; It puts Eloquence into the Oratour ; It will make the Philosopher talke profoundly , the Scholler learnedly , and the Lawyer Acute and feelingly , Ale at Whitsontide , or a Whitson Church Ale , is a Repairer of decayed Countrey Churches ; It is a great friend to Truth , for they that drinke of it ( to the purpose ) will reveale all they know , be it never so secret to be kept ; It is an Embleme of Justice , for it allowes and yeelds measure ; It will put courage into a Coward , and make him swagger and fight ; It is a seale to many a good Bargaine . The Physitian will commend it ; the Lawyer will defend it , It neither hurts , or kils , any but those that abuse it unmeasurably and beyond bearing ; It doth good to as many as take it rightly ; It is as good as a paire of Spectacles to cleare the eyesight of an old parish Clarke ; and in Conclusion , it is such a nourisher of Mankinde , that if my mouth were as bigge as Bishopsgate , my Pen as long as a Maypole , and my Inke a flowing spring , or a standing fishpond , yet I could not with Mouth , Pen , or Inke , speake or write the true worth and worthinesse of Ale. Beere . NOw , to write of Beere , I shall not need to wet my pen much with the naming of it , It being a drinke which Antiquitie was an Aleien , or a meere stranger to , and as it hath scarcely any name , so hath it no habitation , for the places or houses where it is sold doth still retaine the name of An Alehouse ; but if it were a Beere-house , ( or so called ) yet it must have an Inferiour stile of hous-roome than An Alehouse ; for An is the name of many a good woman , and the name An cannot be properly given to a Beere-Brewer , or Beere-house ; for to say An Beere Brewer or An Beere house is ridiculous ; but An Ale-Brewer or An Alehouse is good significant English ; or to say An Beere brewer or An Beerehouse or ( by your favour An Taverne ) is but botching language in great Brittaine ; but to say A Alebrewer or A Alehouse , is more improper than to bid a childe A A in his Chaire , when there is neither Chaire or stoole . This comparison needs a Sir Reverence to Vsher it , but being Beere is but an Upstart and a foreigner or Alien , in respect of Ale , it may serve in stead of a better ; Nor would it differ from Ale in any thing , but onely that an Aspiring Amaritudinous Hop comes crawling lamely in , and makes a Bitter difference betweene them but if the Hop be so cripled that he cannot be gotten to make the oddes , the place may poorely bee supply'd with chop'd Broome ( new gathered ) whereby Beere hath never attained the sober Title of Ale , for it is proper to say A Stand of Ale , and a Hogges Head of Beere , which in common sense is but a swinish Phrase or Appellation . Indeede Beere , by a Mixture of Wine , it enjoyes approbation amongst some few ( that hardly understand wherefore ) but then it is no longer Beere , but hath lost both Name and Nature , and is called Balderdash , ( an Utopian denomination ) and so like a petty Brooke running into a great stream looses it selfe in his owne current , the legges being wash'd with the weaker or smaller sort of it , is contemptuously called , Rotgut ; and is thought by some to be very medicinable to cure the Scurvie . The stronger Beere is divided into two parts ( viz. ) wild and stale ; the first may ease a man of a drought , but the later is like water cast into a Smiths forge , and breeds more heartburning , and as rust eates into Iron , so overstale Beere gnawes auletholes in the entrales , or else my skill failes , an what I have written of it is to be held as a jest . I have now performed my promise , yet cannot so cease , being much desirous to speak something of a forraigne Element , which in some sort seemes to obscure the glory of all the forenamed drinks ; and is knowne to us by the name of Sack , which appellation was archieved by derivation from Donzago , a Spaniard of the Province of Andalowsia , who was the first discoverer of this Castilian Ellixar . But herein ( as before ) I shall but loose my selfe the subject being most excellently handled , tasted , and well rellished both in verse and prose , especially in that late Illustration of Aristippus , in which respect onely it is held fit that Cambridge should precede Oxford . Sack. SAck is no hippocrite , for any man that knowes what an Anagram is , will confesse that it is conta1ined within the litterall letters and limmits of its owne name , which is ( to say ) a Cask . Sack then containes it selfe , ( except it be drawne out ) within its inclosed bounds , like Diogenes , in his Tun ; yet Sack ( overmuch drawne and excessively abused ) hath drawne the abusers of it into many abuses and dammages , for Tangrephilax , a learned Lybian Geographer of our time , affirmes that it sumes into the head , though it well pleases the palate , yet neverthelesse that it helpes the naturall weaknesse of a cold stomacke more than any other wine whatsoever . The old ancient Poets onely write of Helicon , Tempe , Aganippe , the Pegasean fountaine , the Thespian spring . The Muses well and abundance of other unknowne rich invisible blessings ; But our age approves that Sack is the best lineing or living for a good Poet ; and that it enables our moderne writers , to versifie most ingeniously , without much cud gelling their headpieces ( a thing very much used in the pumpers for wit ) whereby they get some portion of credit , a great proportion of windy applause , but for money , &c. For mine owne part , I do not , nor will drinke any of it , which is the reason that my verses want vigour , but if I could but endure to wash my midrisle in Sack , as the most grave Musehunters Hexametrians , Pentametrians , Dactylians and Spondeians doe ; I should then reach with my Invention above the Altitude of the 39. sphere , and dive 50. fathom below the profundity of the depest Barrathrum : The troth is , I have no reason to love Sack , for it made me twice a Rat in Woodstreet Counter-trap : besides where other wines have scarce strength to make me drunke ( as I may take them ) Sack hath the power to make me mad , which made me leave it . Yet for the vertues that are in mine enemy , I must and will give due commendations ; therefore I will give a touch at some things which is praise worthy in this Iberian , Castilian , Canarian , Sherrian , Mallaganian , Robalonian , Robdanian , Peterseamian . Is any man opprest with crudities in his stomacke , so that it takes away all appetituall desire , insomuch that the sight of meat is a second sicknesse to him ? let that man drinke Sack , the cure followes beyond beliefe : Is any man Ingurgitated , so that he is in the condition of a strong surfeit ? let that man drinke Sack too ; the remedy is sudden indeed to a poynt of wonder or admiration . Is any man so much out of the favour of Elous , that he is short-winded , or that his voice or speech failes him , let him drinke Sack , ( as it may be taken ) it shall make him capable to vent words and speake beyond measure : Doth any man ( for the clearing of his stomacke ) desire a vomit ? let him take a quantity of Sack , and by the operation of the same it shall be effected ; So that we may justly say that Sack is a second nature to man , and that the Physicians well knew , when they confinde it to the Apothecaies shops ( which was not till neere the end of King Henry the eights Raigne , about the yeare 1543 , and in King Edward the sixts first and second yeare 1548. ) till which time none but the Apothecaries had the honour to fell Sack , and that was onely for medicine , and for sicke folkes : but though now it be more dispersed into Great mens houses and Vintners cellars , yet it hath obtained no absolute freedome to this day , for in the mansions or dwellings of many that keepe the fairest houses , the Mannagement and tuition of Sack is to some lewd ( ill natur'd , or nurtur'd ) yeoman of the Winecellar , whereby it is too often adulterated , and also brought to such an astringencie , brought to such points of mortification , that it is impossible it should ever be worthy to gaine the approbation of a Wine-vinegar man , and it were heartily to be wish'd that this enormious abuse were punished by the vertue of a Dog-whip . A word or two for example , and I shall conclude : Lucius Piso that great Generall that conquered Thrace , was wonderfully given to the drinking of Sack , insomuch that he was oftentimes carried from the Senate house ; and it was so farre from being an impeachment to his honour , that neverthelesse Augustus Caesar committed to him the charge , care , and trust of the most secret affaires of State , and never had any cause to be discontented with him : the like we read of Tiberius and Cassus ; and as faithfully was the plot and purpose to kill Caesar , ( in the Senate ) committed unto Cimber ( who dranke nothing but Sack , ) as unto Cassius who dranke nothing but Water ; and certaine I am that the Persians , after their drinking of Sack , were wont to consult of their chiefest and most serious state-businesses : and Cyrus , ( that so farre and famous a renowned King ) among his other high praises and commendations , meaning to preferre himselfe before his brother Artaxerxes , and get the start of him , alleageth the cause of his being victorious over him to bee chiefly because he could drinke more Sack than he . I commend not intemperance in all these allegations , the Reader may please to Remember my former test for moderation , and Sack , being so taken , will be to the moderate taker a comfort against cares and crosses , and so with Iuvenals words in his foureteenth satire I shut up all ; Thou shalt be from disease and weaknesse free , From mone , from care , long time of life to thee Shall by more friendly fate afforded by : Drinke Sack therefore if you 'l be rul'd by me . Here followeth , a laborious and effectuall discourse , in praise of the Element of all Waters fresh and salt , with their opperation ; with a touch of the causes of all sorts of weather , faire and foule . I That of Earth was made , yet no earth have , No not so much as may afford a grave : For when that death my lives thred shall untwine I have no buriall in a ground that 's mine : Of all the Elements , the Earth is worst ; Because for Adams sinne it was accurst : Therefore no parcell of it will I buy But on the VVater for reliefe relie . When as mans crying crimes in volleyes flew To Heaven , and Heavens high vengeance downeward drew : Then Water all the World did overrunne , And plagu'd th' abuses that on Earth were done . From showres of Water , rain'd from Skies to Earth , Spring , Sommer , Harvest , Winter have their birth . For VVater is the Milke of Heaven , whereby All things are nurs'd , increase and multiply . The old●st and most grave Astronomers , The learned'st and most sage Philosophers Doe hold , that in the highest Altitude A spheare of Water is , in Amplitude Envelloping all other Orbs and Spheres , With all the Planets swift and slow careares , Even as the Sea the Earth doth compasse round , The Water so the Firmament doth bound . Should I of Water write , but what it is , I should be drowned in my Theames Abysse : And therefore I 'le but dabble , wade , and wash , And here and there both give , and take a dash . In blest Records it truely is approv'd , That Gods blest Spirit upon the Waters mov'd : Then All things were involved in the Waters , All earthly , Airie , and all firie matters : Vntill th' Almighty ( whose workes all are wonders ) With saying ( Let there be ) the Chaos sunders . Of a confus'd lump , voyd of forme and fashion , He spake , and gave the world its faire creation . And as at first the Waters compast all The Chaos , or worlds universall Ball. So still , of all the workes of God , most glorious The water was , is , and will be victorious . It doth surmount the Ayre , the fire it quenches With Inundations it the Earth bedrenches : The Fire may burne a house , perhaps a Towne , But water can a Province spoyle and drowne : And Ayre may be corrupted , and from thence , A Kingdome may be plagu'd with pestilence : Where many die , old , young , some great , some small , But water flouds plaies sweep-stake with them all . Earth may be barren , and not yeeld her store : Yet may she feed the rich , and starve the poore . But Earth in triumph over all ner'e rid , As in the Diluge once the Waters did . Warre may make noyse with Gunnes and ratling Drums , But Water , where it comes , it overcomes . Thus Earth , nor Ayre , nor Fire , nor rumbling Warre , Nor plague , or pestilence , nor famine are Of powre to winne , where Water but commands , As witnesse may the watry Northerlands . Concerning Merchandise , and transportation , Commerce and traffique , and negotiation , To Make each Countrie have by Navigation The Goods , and Riches of each others Nation . Commodities in free community , Embassages for warre or unity : These blessings , by the Sea , or some fresh River Are given to us , by the All-giving Giver . And in the vasty and unmeasur'd roome Of Neptunes Regiment , or Thetis wombe , Are almost shapes and formes of all the things Which in the Earth , or Ayre , or dies , or springs . Ther'e Fishes like to Sunne or Moone , and Starres , Fowles of the Ayre , and weapons for the Warres , Beasts of the Field , and Plants and Flowers there , And Fishes made like Men and Women are . All instruments for any Art or Trade , In living formes of Fishes there are made . This is approv'd , if any man will seeke In the first day of Bart●● his first weeke , Heaven hath ordain'd the warry Element To be a Seale and sacred Sacrament , Which doth in Baptisme us regenerate , And man againe with God doth renovate . And as it in the Laver ( mysticall ) Doth cleanse us from our sinne originall : So for our corp'rall uses 't is most meete To wash our cloathes , and keepe us cleane and sweet . Wer 't not for Water thus we plainelie see , No beast on Earth more beastly were than wee . Our selves with nastinesse our selves should smother , Or with our owne sterich poyson one another . It keepes our vessels cleane to dresse our meate , It serves to cleanse and boile the meate we eate . It makes our houses hansome , neate and cleane , ( Or else the mayd is but a sluttish queane ) Thus Water boyles , parboyles , and mundifies . Cleares , cleanses , clarifies , and purifies . But as it purges us from filth and stincke ; We must remember that it makes us drinke , Metheglin , Braggot , Beere , and headstrong Ale , ( That can put colour in a visage pale ) By which meanes many Brewers are growne Rich , And in estates may soare a lofty Pitch , Men of Good Ranke and place , and much command Who have ( by sodden Water ) purchast land : Yet sure I thinke their gaine had not been such Had not good fellowes vs'de to drinke too much ; But wisely they made hay whilst Sunne did shine , For now our Land is overflowne with wine : With such a Deluge , or an Inundation As hath besotted and halfe drown'd our Nation . Some that are scarce worth 40 pence a yeere Will hardly make a meale with Ale or Beere : And will discourse , that wine doth make good blood , Concocts his meat , and make digestion good , And after to drinke Beere , nor will , nor can He lay a Churle upon a Gentleman . Thus Bacchus is ador'd and deifide , And We Hispanializ'd and Frenchifide : Whilst Noble Native Ale , and Beeres hard fate Are like old Almanacks , Quite out of Date ; Thus men consume their credits and their wealths , And swallow sicknesses , in drinking healths , Untill the fury of the spritefull Grape Mounts to the braine , and makes a man an Ape , A Sheepe , Goate , Lion , or a Beastly swine , He snores , besoyl'd with vomit and much Wine . At Good mens Boords , where of● I eate good cheere , I finde the Brewer honest in his Beere . He sels it for small Beere , and he should cheate , In stead of small to cosen folks with Greate . But one shall seldome find them with that fault , Except it should invisibly raine Mault . O Tapsters , Tapsters all , lament and cry , Or desp'rately drinke all the Tavernes dry : For till such time as all the Wine is gone , Your are bewitch'd , and guests you shall have none . Then to the Tavernes hye you every man : In one day drinke foure Gallons , if you can , And with that tricke ( within a day or twaine ) I thinke there will but little Wine remaine . Your hopes to hoppes returne againe will be , And you once more the golden age will see . But hold , I feare my Muse is mad or drunke , Or else my wits are in the wetting shrunk : To Beere and Ale my love hath some relation Which made me wander thus beyond my station . Good Reader be my Priest , I make confession , I pray thee pardon me , my long digression . From Beere and Wine to water now a while , I meane to metamorphose backe my stile . Wer 't not for Water , sure the Dyers would die , Because they wanted where withall to dye . Cost would be lost , and labour be in vaine , 'T is Water that must helpe to die in Graine . They could then feare no colours , it is cleare , Want water , and there will be none to feare . The Fishmongers , ( a worthy Company ) If VVater did not still their Trade supply , They would be Tradefalne , and quite downe be trod , Nor worth the head or braine-pan of a Cod. Then Lent and Ember-weekes would soone be shotten , All fasting daies would quickly be forgotten : Carthusian Friers , in superstitious Cloysters VVould want their st●irring Cockles , Crabs and Oysters : And Catholicks turne Puritanes straight way , And never more keepe Lent or fasting day . But leaving Neptune , and his Trumping Triton , Of other VVaters now I meane to write on , ( Exhal'd by Phoebus from the Ocean maine ) Of Clowdes , of misty Fogs , all sorts of Raine , Of Dew , of Frosts , of Haile , of Ice of Snow VVhich falls , and turnes to water here below , Of Snow and Raine , as they together meet VVell mingled in the Ayre , are called Sleet . Of Springs , of petty Rils , of Chrystall Founts , Of Streamelets here my merry Muse recounts ; Of Foordes , of Brookes , of Rivers , Lakes and Bournes ; Of Creekes , of Ebbes and flouds , and their returnes , Of Gulphs , ponds , Whirlpooles , Puddles , Ditches , Pooles , Of Moates , of Bathes , some hot , and some that cooles , Of Waters , bitter , sweet , fresh , salt , hot , cold , Of all their operations manifold ; These ( if I can ) I 'le mention with my Pen And last of Urin and strong Watermen . A Cloud 's a Vapour , which is cold and moyst , Which from the Earth , or Sea , the Sunne doth hoyst Into the middle Region of the Ayre , And is ( by extreame cold ) congealed there , Untill at last , it breake and fals againe , To Earth , or Sea , in snow , sleet , Haile or Raine . Mists are such clouds , which neere the earth doe lye , Because the sun wants strength to draw them high . When radiant Sol displaies his piercing Beames Into a cloud , it Thawes , and Raines , in streames : And as the cloud is distant neere or farre , So , great , or small the showrie droppes still are . Some men ( 'gainst Raine ) doe carry in their backs Prognosticating Aking Almanacks : Some by a painefull elbow , hip , or knee , Will shrewdly guesse , what wether 's like to be : Some by their cornes are wondrous Weather-wise , And some by biting of Lice , Fleas , or Flies : The Gowt , Sciatica , The Gallian Morbus , Doth oft foretell if Tempests shall disturbe us ; For though these things converse not with the start , Yet to Mans Griefe they are Astronomers ; In Spring time , and in Autumne Phoebus Ray From land and sea drawes vapours in the day , Which to th' Ayres lowest Region he exhales , And in the night to pearly dew is fals . Here oft fall Meldewes , sweet as Hony ; And Dew oft turnes Manna in Polonia land . Twixt Dew and Hoare-frost , all the ods , I hold One comes from heate , the other from the cold . Hayle is an Ice which oft in flawes and stormes In spring and Harvest fals , in sundry formes ; For in the Autumne , Winter , or by night Scarce any Hayle within our land doth light . And last comes Snow , the cold of Winters Weathers , Which fals and fils the Ayre with seeming feathers . These from the land , and from the Ocean Maine , The Sun drawes up , and then le ts fall againe . Thus water universally doth fly From Earth and skie to Sea , from them to Sky : For 'twixt the Firmament , the land and Ocean , The Water travels with perpetuall Motion . Now , from the Airy Regions I descend , And to a lower course my study beside He that of these things would know more , may please To looke them in some Ephimerides . Springs , ( in the Earth ) I doe Assimulate To veines of Man , which doe evacuate , And drop by drop through Cavernes they distill . Till many meetings make a petty Rill : Which Rill ( with others ) doe make Rivolets , And Rivolets , Brookes , Bournes and foords begets , And thus combined , they their store deliver Into a deeper trench , and make a River . Then Rivers joyne , as Isis doth with Tame , And Trent with Owse , and Humber doth the same . Those altogether doe their Tributes pay Unto their soveraigne Ocean night and day . These make Dame Tellus wombe to fructisie , As blood in veines of men doe life supply , Lakes in low vallied Grounds have Generation , Or from some severall Rivers Inundation . Some Lakes seeme Oceans , amongst which are these The Dead-lake , Hircan , and the Caspian seas . A Whirpooles like unto state policy Not to be sounded , but with jeopardy . Hot Bathes doe spring from Brimstone veines , whose heat For many cures have opperation great . Some minerall earth is bitter , and doth make The water issuing thence , that taste to take . In Scicily , they say , there is a VVell VVhose water doth for Vinegar serve well . A VVell neere Bileu in Bohemia lies VVhich ( like burnt VVine ) the Countrey there supplies . And divers springs in Germany there be , VVhose taste with Vinegar , or VVine agree . For there the Brimstone mines , and Minerals VVith Fumes infuting vapours up exhales And with the waters doe incorporate Hot , cold , sweet , sowre , as they ennaccuate . Some Rivers are of such strange working might , VVhich dranke ( by sheepe ) doth change them black from white , Some that with bathing cure , blind , dease , and lame , And makes mens haire red that doe drinke the same , Some are at noone key-cold , at midnight hot , Some makes a man mad , some a drunken sot , Some are in summer cold , in winter warme , And some are banefull , full of poysn'ous harme . Some ( do with lost ) make mens affections burne , And some ( through coldnesse ) wood to stones will turne , Some will quench burning torches straite , and then Dip'd in the water they are light agen , I read that in Silicia one may finde A well which if Thieves drinke of , are strucke blinde , My selfe , and many thousands more than I Would ( rather then to drinke thereof be drie . ) If Brittaines waters all were such , I thinke That few of us would dare thereof to drinke : I could write more of strange wells opp'tatious : And waters of our owne and other Nations . But Doctour Fulk of late hath writ a booke , Of Met'ors , and who lists therein to looke , May read , and reading may be well suffic'd , So learnedly he hath Epitomiz'd . There are two Springs , which women ( when they mump ) Or lumpish lowring from their eyes can pumpe , And in those pearly streames the foole , and witty , Hath oftentimes beene duck'd or sous'd with pity : Kinde hearted men are drown'd in sorrow deepe When they doe see a handsome woman weepe . But Aprill like , soone dry and quickly wet ( As anger , love , or hate doe rise or set , ) But as for those that truely spring from griefe , I wish them consolation and Reliefe . Now ( to ecclips the vigour of the Vine ) We have strong waters , stronger much than Wine : One with a quart of water drunke may be , When ( of the best wine ) he may hold out three , The sellers of these waters seldome row , And yet they are strong-water-men , I know . Some water-men there are of sight so quicke , They 'l tell by water if a man be sicke , And ( through the urinall ) will speedily Finde out the cause , the griefe and remedy . These men deserve much honour , love and thankes . But hang base pispot cheating Mountebankes . 'T were fit the Ratcatchers with them should be , Combin'd in one , and at one Hall made free . I could speake why the sea doth ebbe and flow , And why 't is salt , but Doctour Fulke doth show Compendiously , as I have said before ; And therefore her I 'le touch these poynts no more . Month changing Luna , hath the government O're all the various watry element , And as the Moone is mutable even so The waters still are turning to and fro : 'T is smooth , 't is rough , deepe , shallow , swift and slow , Whose motion doth perpetuall ebbe and flow : Most weake , most strong , most gentle , most untam'd Of all the creatures that were ever nam'd : It is so weake that children may it spill , And strong enough millions of men to kill : As smooth as Glasse , as Rugged as a Beare , Weake , and yet greatest burthens still doth beare , And as the waters from the Moone doth carry Her inclination , and like her do vary : So I ( a Water-man ) in various fashions , Have wroate a hotchpotch here of strange mutations , Of ancient liquors , made by Liber Pater , Of drinkes , of Wines , of sundry sorts of Water : My Muse doth like a Monkey friske and frigge , Or like a Squirrell skip , from twigge to twigge : Now sipping Sider , straightway supping Perry , Metheglin sweet , and Mead , ( that makes her merry ) VVith Braggot , that can teach a Cat to speake , And poore Pomperkin ( impotent and weake ) And lastly ( as the chiefe of all the rest ) She tipples Huff-cap Ale , to crowne the feast . Yet now and then in Beere and Balderdash Her lips she dips ; and cleane her entrailes wash : And ending , she declares Sack 's mighty power , VVhich doth time , coyne , wit , health , and all devoure . Not by the mod'rate use , but by th' abuse Which daily is in universall use . For Rhenish , Claret , White , and other Wines They need not the expression of my lines : Their vertue 's good , if not commix'd impure , And ( as they 'r us'd ) they may both kill or cure . Through drinks , through wines , and waters , I have run , And ( being dry and sober . ) I have DONE . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13442-e3680 Of Clouds . Of Mists . Of Raine . Dew . Hoare frosts Hayle . Snow . Springs . Rivers . Lakes 
A13444	----	The eighth vvonder of the vvorld, or Coriats escape from his supposed drowning With his safe arriuall and entertainment at the famous citty of Constantinople; and also how hee was honourably knighted with a sword of King Priams. With the manner of his proceeding in his peregrination through the Turkish territories towards the antient memorable citty of Ierusalem. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1613 Approx. 26 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 15 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13444 STC 23750 ESTC S111358 99846720 99846720 11707 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13444) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 11707) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1222:17) The eighth vvonder of the vvorld, or Coriats escape from his supposed drowning With his safe arriuall and entertainment at the famous citty of Constantinople; and also how hee was honourably knighted with a sword of King Priams. With the manner of his proceeding in his peregrination through the Turkish territories towards the antient memorable citty of Ierusalem. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [30] p. By Nicholas Okes] neere Coleman-hedge, and are to bee sold at the signe of the nimble Traueller, Printed at Pancridge [i.e. London : 1613. In verse. The imprint is false; printed at London by Nicholas Okes (STC). Signatures: A-B (-A1). Running title reads: The worlds eighth wonder. The last leaf is blank. Reproduction of a photostat of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Coryate, Thomas, ca. 1577-1617 -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-10 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE EIGHTH VVONDER OF THE WORLD , OR CORIATS ESCAPE from his supposed drowning . WITH HIS SAFE ARRIVALL AND entertainment at the famous Citty of Constantinople ; And also how hee was honourably Knighted with a sword of King PRIAMS . WITH The manner of his proceeding in his peregrination through the Turkish Territories towards the antient memorable Citty of IERVSALEM . By IOHN TAYLOR . Printed at 〈◊〉 neere Coleman hedge , and at are to bee sold at the signe of the nimble Traueller 1613. To the Mighty , Magnificent , Potent , and Powerfull Knight , Sir Thomas Parsons , ( alias ) Pheander , ( alias ) Knight of the Sunne , Great Champion to Apollo , Palatine of Ph●ebus , Sword-bearer to Sol , Tilter to Tytan , Housekeeper to Hiperion , and heire apparant to the inuisible kingdome of the Fairies : your deuoted Votary , IOHN TAYLOR , wisheth your Worshits wisedomes Longitude , Latitude , Altitude , and Craslitude may increase aboue the Ridiculus multitude of the most en●ment Stal●●●● of this latter age . TO thee braue knight , who from the Delphian God ●●●e I ●on●●●●ate these famous Acts of Odcomb : To thee alone , and vnto none but thee , For Patronage my toyling Muse doth flee . I gaue my drowning Coriat vnto Archy , And with his ●ure escape to thee now march 1 , Not doubting but thou wilt in kindnesse take These lines thus writ , for his , and thy , deere sake . If thou in kindnesse wilt accept this taske , Hereafter I will better things vn-caske , And make the world thy worth to glory at In greater measure then at Coriat . I l'e mount thee vp in ●urse past Charles his Waine , I l'e make the Mocue Endimion to disdaine , I l'e write in euer-deering lines thy fame . As farre as Phoebus spreades his glorious flame . I l'e make thee pluckestorne Saturne by the Chaps , And braue great Ioue amids his thunder-clappes . I l'e cause thy praises t'eclipt the God as Armes , I l'e wake Donia Venus yeeld to loues alarmes . The nimble Mercury shall be thy ●oot-mad , Is thou wilt grace my lines : therefore lo i●too't man. But if to patronize into thou dost scorne , 'T were better then thou neuer hadst been borne : For 'gainst disdaine my Muses oneli p●t●s . To write with Gall , com●●●t with Aqua-lottis : And Vinegar , and Salt , and Sublimation . Which where it falles will'c●rtch & s●all : probatum . Then at thou lou'st the Fairy Queene thine Aunt , Daine to touchsafe this poore and triuiall graunt : Then I thy Poet will with how Subiection , Proceed to write Tom Coriats Resurrection . Yours euer wh 〈…〉 shall perseuer in your 〈◊〉 , JOHN TAYLOR . To the knowing Reader . NOw sir , it is a common customary vse in these times , to salute you with somewhat ; as Honest , Kinde , Curteous , Louing , Friendly , or Gentle : but all these Epithites are ouer-worne , and doe , as it were , stinke of the fusty garbe of Antiquity . Besides , if I should come vpon you with any of these claw-backetearmes , I might chance to belye you . But if your kinde disposition doe merit to bee called kinde , I pray let me finde it in your fauourable censure . Some will ( perhaps ) dislike that I do dedicate my bookes to Archy , and Sir Thomas , and such like : To them I answere , that my subiect beeing altogether foolish , I were very absurd to thinke that any wise man would be my Patron : And it were mere folly for me to make a hotch-potch , in seeking to compound wisedome and folly together . But howsoeuer thou esteemest it , it thrusts it selfe into thy view ; wherin ( if thou beest not too much drowned in Melancholy ) thou wilt shew thy teeth ( if thou hast any ) with laughing . And as my lines are somewhat defective in their shape , so I pray thee , do not hacke them , nor hew them with thy stammering , to make them worse , nor Buzzard-blast them with thy calumniating mewes , tushes , and scuruyes . Thus leaning thee to thy selfe , and my selfe vnto thee , I remaine thine as thou respects me , Iohn Taylor . The cause of the contention betwixt sir Thomas the Scholer , and Iohn the Sculler . A Pamphlet printed was the Sculler nam'd , Wherein Sir Thomas much my writing blam'd ; Because an Epigram therein was written , In which he said he was ●●pt , gal'd and bitten . He frets , he sumes , he rages and exclaimes , And vowes to rouye me from the Riuer Tham●● . Well , I to make him some amends for that , Did write a Booke was cal'd Laugh and be fat : In which hee said I wrong'd him ten times more , And made him madder then he was before . Then did he storme , and chase , and sweare , and ban , And to superiour powers a maine he ran , Where he obtain'd Laugh and be fat 's confusion , Who all were burnt , and made a hot conclusion . Then after that , when rumour had him drown'd , ( The newes whereof my vexed Muse did wound ) I writ a letter to th' Elizian coast , T' appeale his angry wrong incensed Ghost . The which my poore inuention then did call , Odcomhs Complaint , or Coriats Funerall . But since true newes is come , he scap'd that danger , And through hot Sun-burnt Asia is a ranger . Has raising from the dead I thought to write , To please my selfe , and giue my friends delight : The Worlds eighth Wonder , Or Coriats Reuiuing . LO I the man whose Muse did lately forage , Through wind , and sea with dreadlesse dantlesse corage , And to the life , in hodg podge rime exprest , How Odcomb Coriat was great Neptunes guest . How Thetis sweetely lul'd him in her lappe , And ( at her darling ) fed the Barne with pappe , How big mouth'd AEol storm'd , and puft , and blew , And how both wind , and Seas with all their crew Were pleas'd & displeas'd , tumbled , rag'd and tost , The Gamers glad , and mad were they that lost . These tedious taskes my toyling Muse hath run , And what she did , for Coriats sake was dun . Shee hath transported him to Bossoms Inne , Where in a Basket he hath hanged bin : Shee hath inuoul'd him in the hungry deepe , In hope to leaue him in eternall sleepe : Yet hauing hang'd him first , and after drown'd him , My poore laborious Muse againe hath found him . For 't is her duty still to waite and serue him Although the Fates should hang , or drowne , or sterue him . The fatall sisters serue his turne so pat , That sure he hath more liues then hath a Cat. Alcide● neuer past so many dangers As he hath done , amongst his friends , and strangers , Her ●● , through all his actions with such ease , As Hogs eate Acorns , or as Pidgeons Pease . There 's nothing in the world can him disgrace , Not beeing beaten in a lowzy case : Nor Trunks , nor Puncks , nor stocks , nor mocks , nor moes , Not being made an Asse in Rime and Prose : Nor hanging , drowning , casting , nor the blanquet , These honours all are his , the God● be thanked . BVt now me-thinkes some curious itching eare , Doth long some sportiue newes of him to heare . For being in the Ocean buried vnder , And now aliue againe , 't is more then wonder : But how these wondrous wonders came to passe , I ( as I can ) will tell you how it was . VVHen first this mirrour 'mongst a world of Nations , ( This great ingroser of strange obseruations ) Was bound for Constantones braue noble Citty , Then he ( who is Wit-all , or else all witty ) Whose vigilance lets no aduantage slip , Embarked was in a tall proued Ship Of London , the Samaritan she hight , Now note the fore-cast of this famous wight The Ship he onely for her name did chuse In detestation of the faithlesse Iewes : For why the Iewes and the Samaritans , Did hate as Christians , Anti-Christians . Yet I suppose his spight to them did spring , For I thinke what , and now I 'le name the thing . In his full fiue months strange perambulation , Hee was in danger of that peruerse Nation . For they by wrongfull force , would haue surpriz'd him , T' excoriat Coriat , and t' haue Circumcis'd him . This dreadfull terrour of his Lady ware , I gesse the cause the Iewes he hatred bate . How-euer was his intricate intent , In the Samaritan to sea he went : And eare-abusing false intelligence , Said he was drown'd in Neptunes residence . Thus false report did make mee much mistake : For which a faire recanting mends I 'le make . My greiued Mine hath euer since his drowning , Beene ve●e with sorrow and continuall swowning : But now she 's all attired with mirth and gladnesse , The Lye was good that made her sicke with sadnesse . KNow therefore Readers , whatso'ere you are : That this great Britaine braue Oucombyan starre : Was tost on Neptunes rough remorcelesse waues : Where each man look'd for timelesse brinish graues : For Eolus vnlock'd his vaulted Center , And 'gainst the Sea-God did in Armes aduenter With winds vniayled came at vnawares , And greene-fac'd Neptune with defiance dares With all his watry Regiments to fight Or yeeld this matchles , worthlesse , wondrous ●●ight . The great humidious Monarke , tel's him plaine , 'T were best he iog'd from his commanding Mayne : And with his troupes of homelesse , rouing slaues : Go hide him in the earths imprison'd Caues : And not disturbe him in his Regall Throne , For hee would keepe Tom Coriat , or else none . Then Eol gan his windy wrath to vent : And swore by Stix that Neptune should repent This balky high audacious insolence , Against his powerfull great magnificence . Then Triton , sounded , the alarme was giuen , That from bels bottome to the skirts of heauen : The repercussiue echoes of his sounding With dreadfull relaps backe againe redounding , Then , then Robustious swolne cheek'd Boreas blasts , Teares , riues , and shiuers , Tacklins , Sailes , and Masts : In totter'd fragments all in peices shatred Which heere and there confusedly lay scatter'd . These hurly burly stormes and tempests tumbling With dire amazing Thunder-thumping rumbling . The mounting billowes , like great mountaines rise , As if they ment to drowne the lofty skies . Then downe they fall to the Tartarian deepe , As if the infernall Fiends they ment to steepe : That sure ( I gesse ) a greater gust was neuer , Since Inna did AEnea's ruine endeuour . The Kingly Sea-God ( to auoide more harmes ) Caught Coriat ( the cause of these Alarmes . ) And so his boisterous windy foe depriu'd , And home through worlds of flouds amaine he diu'd . But awfull loue to his Imperiall spheare These grieuous garboiles chanced for to heare : And to his brother Neptune downe he sends The wing heel'd Mercury with these commends : To thee thou watry great commanding Keasar . I come from heauens Maiesticke mighty Caesar : Commanding thee by thy fraternall loue , That from thy Coasts thou presently remoue The man thou lately took'st , the worlds sole wonder , Or else hel 'e rouze thee with distracting Thunder : And therefore , as Ioues friendship thou dost tender , To safe arriuall see thou dost him render : Whilst Mayes sonne his message thus did tell , A fury , like a Post-knight , came from hell ; And from th' infernall King of blacke Auer●● , These words he vtter'd ( which doth much concerne vs ) From Acheronticke , Phlegetonticke waues , Thy brother Pluto thus much friend-ships craues : Thou wilt send Coriat downe with him to raigne , And hee 'le send thee as good a thing againe , For Proserpins his illustrious Pheare , Of him , and his aduentures chanc'd to heare : Because a Gentleman vshe●d she doth want , To haue him Pluto begs thy friendly grant . The Marine Monarke answeres , thus it is : You Nuntius from our Brethren Ioue and Dis : Know such a mortall is within my power , Imprison'd close in ●hetis siluer Bower : I did surprise him midst a thousand toiles Of warres ; of iarres , of bloudy banefull broiles : My high-borne brother Ioue hath hither sent , Commanding sue that I incontia●nt Do safely set this new-found man a land . And I from Pluto further vnderstand . That he would haue him ●o Creuan Coast , Where he and C●ne● daughter rules the coast . First therefore I in wisedome hold it best To yeeld vnto the mighty Ioues request : And on the Grecian coast I l'e safely place him , Where he may wander where his fortune trace him . These messengers thus answer'd were dit●●●ist , And Neptune did to land his guest persist : But now all hell was in an expectation For Coriats comming making preparation . The Stigian Ferri-man on S●xes shore , Did waite with diligence to wast him o're , And hels three-headed Porter sweetely sung For ioy , that all the Coasts of Limbo rung With howling Musickes , dambe despightfull notes , From out his triple Chaps , and treble throates . Ixion from the tortring wheele was eas'd , And pining Tantall was with Iunkets pleas'd , And further , 't was commanded , and decreed ; The Gripe no more on Titius gu●● should feed . The nine and forty wenches , water filling In Tub● vnbottom'd which was euer spilling : They all had leaue , to leaue their endlesse toiles , To dance , sing , sport , and to keepe reuell coiles . Three forked Hecate to mirth was prone , And Sisiphus gaue or'e the restlesse stone . All , in conclusion had free leaue to play , And for Tom Coriats sake make holiday . Thus all blacke Barrathrum is fil'd with games , With lasting bone-fires , casting sulphur-flames . In Vse'rers skuls the molten gold they quaffe , And skink , and drink , and wink , and stinke , and laffe . But when the Post was come and told his Tale , Then all this sport was turn'd to banefull bale . Grim Pluto storm'd , and Proserpina mourn'd And tortur'd Ghosts , to torments were return'd . THe Sea-God ( carefull of great Ioues high hest ) To great Constantinople brought his guest : Where ( nothing that may honour him omitting ) His entertainement to his slate was fitting : There in all pleasure he himselfe disports Conuersing daily with such braue consorts . As Turkes , and Tartars , Englishmen , and Greekes , That he thinkes ages yeares , and yeares but weekes That 's wasted in this rare time stealing chat , All his delight 's in nothing else but that . But his high honour further to relate , I 'le sing the new aduancement of his state . Some English Gentlemen with him consulted , And hee as nat'rally with them constulted : Where they perceiuing his deserts were great . They striu'd to mount him into honours seate : And being found of an vnmatched spright , He there was double dub'd a doughty Knight . Rise vp sir Thomas , worship'd maist thou be Of people all ( that are as wise as thee . ) Now rap't with ioy , my Muse must needs record How he was knighted with a royall sword : But into what a puzzell now got I am ? They say it was the Bilbo of King Priam. The fatall blade which he in sury drew , When in reuenge the Mirmidons he slew . Impell mel vengeance for great Heclers bane , Who by Achiles faire foule-play was slaine . That sword that mow'd the Grecians like a sithe : That sword that made victorious Troyans blithe . That sword , that through so many dangers rub'd , That famous sword hath Monsieur Coriat dub'd . What though 't was rusty ? spight of cankerd rust , The memory of honour liues in dust . 'T was no disgrace it was so rusty ship'd , It had ( like Coriat ) many a scow●ing scap'd . BVt 'mongst the rest , this must not bee forgot , How hee did from Constantinople trot , And how a solemne counsell there decreed , That he should trauell in a Grecian weede . To this ( for his owne safety ) they do wo him . Because the language is so nat'rall to him . And then besp●ke a sober sage wise fellow , ( When wine had made them all , in generall mellow ) Take heed quoth he , I counsell you beware That of your selfe you haue a speciall care You be not taken for a French-man , for The Turkes in these parts do the French abhor , Since Godfrie● time , that braue bold Bullen Duke , Who put them all to shame and rough rebuke . And made the Sarasins by Millions bleed And holy Toombe , from faithlesse fiends he sited . Wherefore ( quoth he ) in friendship I aduise you T' auoid suspect 't were best we Circumcise you : And then you freely may through perils passe Despight the Turks , so like a Grecian Asse No man with Lonxes eies will deeme you other , And thus you safely may suspicion smother . Sir Thomas gaue this fellowes speech the hearing , But told him 't was too heauy for his hearing : For why , fall backe , fall edge , come good , come all . Hee vow'd to keepe his fore-mans fore-skin still . This resolution was no sooner spoken , The friendly counsell was dismist and broken . Where after leaue was tane twixt him and them , He tooke his iourney toward Ierusalem : And what hee can observe twixt morne and night , With due obseruance hee doth daily write , That , if my iudgement be not much mistooke , An Elephant will scarce support his booke . For he in fiue months built a paper hulke , And this must bee ten times of greater bulke , ●● Paule-Church-yard , lonely pitty thee , Thou onely thou , shalt most encumbred bee : Thou from the Presse art prest to be opprest : With many a fat-fetch'd horne-brought Odcomb iest . But yet I know the Stationeri are wise , And well do know wherein the dangers lies : For to such inconuenience they 'le not enter : But suffers Coriat to abide th'aduenter : Because his Gyant volume is so large , The 'le giue sir Thomas leaue to beare the charge . That man is mad who changes gold for drosse , And so were they to buy a certaine losse : Let him that got and bore the Barne still breed it , And nurse , dis burse , and soster , cloth , and seede it . THus hath my Muse ( as fortune her alloted ) Both run and tid , and gallop● , ●●ble● , trotted To skies , and seas , and to blacke hell below In seruile duty that my loue doth owe. My captiue thoughts like trully seruants to him , Striue how they any way may seruice do him . To serue his turne like Prentices they gree , loue send Sir Thomas home to make them free . Epilogue to Sir Thomas Coriat vpon his name . VVHy haue I spent my time thus Coriat ? Wherefore on thy leud lines thus pore I at ? Why like an Ideot foole adore — I at Thy workes ? which wisedome will not glory at At no place euer was before — I at Where wonders vpon wonder more — I at With pen , insteed of Lance , now gore — I at Thy Odcomb foppery now hore — I at At thy prides altitude , now sore — I at Thou art the Theame I write my — story at If ought besell me to be — sory at Hard-hearted fate 'gainst thee then rore — I at Vpon his bookes name , called his Crudities . TOm Coriat , I haue seene thy Crudities , And , me-thinkes , very strangely brude it is , VVith peece and patch together glude it is , And how ( like thee ) ill-fauour'd hu'de it is , In many a line I see that lew'd — it is , And therefore fit to be subdew'd — it is , VVithin thy broyling braine-pan stude — it is , And twixt thy grinding iawes well chewd it is , VVithin thy stomacke closely mude — it is , And last in Court and Country spude — it is , But now by wisedomes eye that view'd it is , They all agree that very rude — it is , With soolery so full endu'de — it is , That wondrously by sooles pursu'de it is , As sweete as gals amaritude it is , And seeming full of Pulchtitude — it is , But more to write but to intrude — it is , And therefore wisedome to conclude — It is , A Simile for his Learning . THe lushious Grape of Bacchus heating Vine , When it to ripe maturity is sprung , Is prest , and so conuerted into wine , Then clos'd in Caske most tight at head and bung : For if by chance , it chanceth to take vent : It spils the wine in colour , strength , and sent . Eu'n so thy Latin , and thy Greeke was good Till in thy musty Hogges-head it was put : And Odly there Commixed with thy bloud , Not wisely kept , not well nor tightly shut : That of the Caske it tastes so , I assure thee , That sew ( or none ) can ( but in sport ) endure thee . My Fare-well to him . Now Curiat , I with thee haue euer done , My Muse vnto her iournies and hath wonne : My first Inuentions highly did displease thee , And these my last are written to appeale thee : I wrought these great Herculean workes to win thee , Then if they please thee not the soole's within thee : VVhat next I write , shall better be or none , Do thou let me , and I 'le let thee alone . But if thou seem'st to rub a galled sore , Vindict●● vengeance makes all Hell to rore . FINIS . 
A13445	----	An English-mans loue to Bohemia with a friendly farewell to all the noble souldiers that goe from great Britaine to that honorable expedition. As also, the names of the most part of the kings, princes, dukes, marquisses, earles, bishops, and other friendly confederates, that are combined with the Bohemian part. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1620 Approx. 19 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 8 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13445 STC 23751 ESTC S111383 99846744 99846744 11731 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13445) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 11731) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1222:18) An English-mans loue to Bohemia with a friendly farewell to all the noble souldiers that goe from great Britaine to that honorable expedition. As also, the names of the most part of the kings, princes, dukes, marquisses, earles, bishops, and other friendly confederates, that are combined with the Bohemian part. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [4], 10, [2] p. : ill. (woodcuts) [By George Eld], Printed at Dort [i.e. London] : M DC XX [1620] In verse. The imprint is false; printed at London by George Eld (STC). The last leaf is blank. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Thirty Years' War, 1618-1648 -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-06 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion AN ENGLISH-MANS LOVE TO BOHEMIA : WITH A friendly Farewell to all the noble Souldiers that goe from great Britaine to that honorable Expedition . AS ALSO , The names of the most part of the Kings , Princes , Dukes , Marquisses , Earles , Bishops , and other friendly Confederates , that are combined with the Bohemian part . BY IOHN TAYLOR . Printed at Dort. M DC XX. We beare the outward forme of Martialists , But worth and manhood in the minde consists . And noble Souldiers that our shapes do see , We are but shadowes , you the substance be . TO THE HONORABLE WELL APPROVED AND accomplisht Souldier , Sir Andrew Gray , Knight ; Colonell of the forces of Great Britaine , in this noble Bohemian Preparation . SIR ANDREVV GRAIE . Anagramma . I GARDE IN WARRES . Honorable Knight : THere are two especiall Causes that haue moued me most boldly to thrust these rude lines into the world : the first is my hearty affection to the generality of the cause you vndertake , ( which I beleeue God and his best seruants do affect : ) and the other is my loue and seruice which I owe to your worthy selfe in particular , for many vndeserued friendships which I haue receiued from you , and many of your noble friends for your sake . Ingratitude is a Diuell , so farre worse then all the diuels , that if it should craue harbor of me , in the likenesse of an Angell of light , yet I would neuer be perswaded to entertaine it . My thankfull acknowledgement of your goodnesse towards mee is my prayers and best wishes , which shall euer be a poore requitall towards you , not forgetting my thanks in the behalfe of all the worthy Ladies and others of that Angelicall sex that are maried and resident in London , whose chast honours you ( as became a true Knight ) defended , when an audacious Frenchman most slanderously did ( without exception ) swear there was not one honest woman dwelling within the boundes of this populous City , but that they had all generally abused the bed of mariage : then did your noble selfe inforce the pestiferous pesant to swallow his odious calumny , and in humility to confesse there were fifty thousand or a greater number that neuer had wronged their husbands in that vnlawfull act . I haue made bold to speake of this matter here , because the abuse was so generall , & your quarrell so honorable , which I think vnfit to be buried in silence or forgetfulnesse : howsoeuer , I craue you pardon and worthy acceptance , whilst I most obsequiously remaine Euer to be commanded by you , Iohn Taylor . A FRIENDLY FAREWEL to all the noble Souldiers that goe out of Great Britaine vnto BOHEMIA . WArres , noble Warres , and manly braue designes ; Where glorious valour in bright armour shines : Where God with guards of Angels doth defend , And best of Christian Princes doe befriend , Where mighty Kings in glittering burnisht armes Lead bloody brusing battels , and alarmes , VVhere honour , truth , loue , royall reputation , Make Realmes and Nations ioyne in combination , Bohemia , Denmarke and Hungaria , The vpper and the lower Bauaria , The two great Counties of the Pallatine , The King of Sweden friendly doth combine , The Marquesse and Elector Brandenburge , The Dukes of Brunswicke , and of Lunenburge , Of Holsten , Deuxpont , and of Wittemberge , Of the low-Saxons , and of Mackelberge , Braue Hessens Lantsgraue , Anholts worthy * Prince , The inhance Townes , whom force cannot conuince : Prince Maurice , and the States of Netherlands , And th' ancient Knights of th' Empire lend their hands . These and a number more then I haue nam'd , Whose worths and valours through the world are fam'd , With many a Marquesse , Bishop , Lord and Knight T' oppose foule wrong , and to defend faire right : Whose warlike troops assembled brauely are To ayde a gracious Prince in a iust warre . For God , for Natures , and for Nations lawes This martiall armie vndertakes this cause ; And true borne Britaines , worthy countrymen , Resume your ancient honors once agen . I know your valiant minds are sharpe and keene To serue your Soueraignes daughter , Bohems Queene . I know you need no spur to set you on , But you thinke dayes are yeares till you are gon ; And being gone , you 'le wealth and honour win , Whilst ryot here at home addes sin to sin . You ( God assisting ) may do mighty things , Make Kings of captiues , and of captiues Kings , Riches and loue those that suruiue shall gaine , And fame , and Heauen the portion of the slaine . The wounds and scarres more beautifull will make Those that doe weare them for true honours sake . Since God then in his loue did preordaine That you should be his Champions , to maintaine His quarrell , and his cause ; a fig for foes , God being with you , how can man oppose ? Some may obiect , Your enemies are store : If so , your fame and victori's the more ; Men do win honour when they cope with men , The Eagle will not triumph o're a wren : The Lyon with the Mouse will not contend , Nor men gainst boyes and women wars will bend , But clouds of dust and smoak , and bloud and sweat Are the maine meanes that will true honour get . Thus to fames altitude must men aspire By noble actions , won through sword and fire , By trumpets clangor , drums , guns , flute or fife : For as there is an end to euery life , And man well knowes that one day he must end it , Let him keep 't well , defend , and brauely spend it . O griefe to see how many stout men lye Halfe rotten in their beds before they dye ; Some by foule surfets , some by odious whoring , In misery lye stinking and deploring , And e're a lingring death their sad life ends , They are most tedious loathsome to their friends ; Wasting in phisicke , which addes woe to griefe That which should yeeld their families reliefe : At last when wished death their cares do cure , Their names like to their bodies lie obscure . Whereas the souldiour with a Christian brest , Wars for his Soueraignes peace , and Countries rest : He to his Makers will , his will inclines , And ne're gainst heauen impatiently repines , He to his Sauiour sayes , that thou art mine , And being thou redeem'st me , I am thine , That if I liue or die , or die or liue , Blest be thy name whether thou take or giue . This resolution peirces heauens high roofe , And armes a souldier more then Cannon proofe . Suppose his life ends by some noble wounds , His soule to heauen , from whence it came rebounds : Suppose blowne vp with powder vp he flies , Fire his impurity repurifies , Suppose a shot peirce through his brest or head He nobly liu'd and nobly he is dead , He lies not bedred stinking , nor doth raue Blaspheming against him , that him should saue , Nor he in Phisicke doth consume and spend That which himselfe and others should defend , He doth not languish , drawing loathsome breath , But dies before his friends doe wish his death , And though his earthly part to earth doth passe , His fame out weares a monument of brasse . Most worthy countrymen , coragious hearts , Now is the time , now act braue manly parts , Remember you are sonnes vnto such sires Whose sacred memories the world admires , Make your names fearefull to your foes againe Like Talbot to the French , or Drake to Spaine : Thinke on braue valiant Essex , and Mountioy , And Sidney , that did Englands foes destroy , With noble Norris , Williams , and the Veares , The Grayes , the Willoughbies all peerlesse Peers , And when you thinke what glory they haue won , Some worthy actions by you will be done . Remember Poicteirs , Cressy , Agincourt , With Bullen , Turwin , Turnyes warlike sport , And more ( our honours higher to aduance ) Our King of England was crown'd King of France , In Paris , thus all France we did prouoake T' obay and serue vnder the English yoake . In Ireland 18 bloudy fields we fought , And that fierce Nation to subiection brought , Besides Tyrones rebellion , which soule strife Cost England many a pound , lost many a life , And before we were Scotlands , or it ours , How often haue we with opposed powers In most vnneighbourly , vnfriendly manners , With hostile armes , displaying bloudy banners : With various victories on either side , Now vp , now downe , our fortunes haue bin tride , What one fight winnes , the other losing yeelds , In more then sixscore bloudy foughten fields . But since that we and they , and they and we More neere then brethren , now conioyned be . Those scattering powers we each gainst other lead , Being one knit body , to one royall head . Then let this Iland , East , West , South and North Iointly in these braue warres emblaze our worth . And as there was a strife , that once befell Twixt men of Iuda , and of Israel : Contending which should loue King Dauid best , And who in him had greatest interest : Long may contention onely then be thus Twixt vs and Scotland , and twixt them and vs , Still friendly striuing which of vs can be Most true and loyall to his Maiesty . This is a strife will please the God of peace , And this contending will our loues increase . You hardy Scots remember Royall Bruce , And what stout Wallace valour did produce : The glorious name of Stewarts , Hamiltons , The Ereskins , Morayes , and the Levingstons , The noble Ramseies , and th' illustrious Hayes , The valiant Dowglasses , the Grimes and Grayes , Great Sir Iames Dowglas , a most valiant Knight Lead seauenty battles with victorious fight , Not by Lieutenants , or by deputation , But he in person wanne his reputation . The Turkes and Sarazens he ouercame , Where ending life he purchast endlesse fame , And his true noble worth is well deriu'd To worthies of that name that since suruiu'd . Then since both nations did and do abound With men approu'd , and through all Lands renown'd , Through Europe , and through Asia , further farre , Then is our blest Redeemer Sepulchre . Through all the coasts of tawny Affrica , And through the bounds of rich America . And as the world our worths acknowledge must , Let not our valour sleeping lye and rust : But to immortalize our Britaines name , Let it from imbers burst into a flame . We haue that Land and shape our elders had , Their courages were good , can ours be bad ? Their deedes did manifest their worthy mindes , Then how can we degenerate from kindes ? In former times we were so giuen to warre ( Witnesse the broyles twixt Yorke and Lancaster ) Hauing no place to forreigne foes to goe , Amongst our selues , we made our selues a foe Full threescore yeares with fierce vnkinde alarmes , Were practis'd fierce vnciuill ciuill armes , Whilst fourescore Peeres of the bloud royall died , With hundred thousands commoners beside . Thus Englishmen to warres did beare good will , They would be doing although doing ill . And Scotlands historie auoucheth cleare , Of many ciuil warres , and tormoyles there , Rebellion , discord , rapine and foule spoyle Hath peirc't the bowels of their natiue soile , Themselues against themselues , Peeres against Peeres , And kin with kin together by the eares , The friend gainst friend , each other hath withstood , Vnfriendly friends weltering in their bloud . Thus we with them , and they with vs contending , And we our selues , and they themselues thus rending , Doth shew that all of vs haue euer bin Addicted vnto martial discipline : Spaine can report , and Portingale can tel , Denmarke and Norway both can wittnesse wel , Sweden and Poland truely can declare Our seruice there , and almost euery where . And * Belgia but for the English and the Scots , Perpetuall slauery had beene their lots Vnder the great commanding power of Spaine , By th' Prince of Parma's and the Archdukes traine . Farre for my witnesses I neede not looke , 'T is writ in many a hundred liuing booke . And Newports famous battell brauely tels The English and the Scots in fight excels : Yea all , or most townes in those seauenteene Lands Haue felt the force , or friendship of their hands . Ostend whose siege all sieges did surpasse That will be , is , or I thinke euer was , In three yeares , three moneths , Scots and Englishmen Did more then Troy accomplished in ten . Ostend endur'd ( which ne'er will be forgot ) Aboue seauen hundred thousand Cannon shot : And , as if hell against it did conspire , They did abide death , dearth , and sword and fire . There danger was with resolution mixt , And honour with true valour firmly fixt . Were death more horrid then a Gorgons head , In his worst shapes they met him , free from dread . There many a Britaine dide , and yet they liue In fame , which fame to vs doth courage giue . At last when to an end the siege was come , The gainers of it , cast their losing summe , And the vneuen reckoning thus did runne : The winners had most losse , the losers wonne ; For in this siege vpon the Archdukes side Seauen Masters of the Campe all wounded dide . And fifteene Colonels in that warre deceast : And Serieant Mayors twenty nine , at least . Captaines fiue hundred sixty fiue were slaine . Lieutenants ( whilst this Leaguer did remaine ) One thousand , and one hundred and sixteene Dyed , and are now as they had neuer beene . Ensignes three hundred twenty two , all euen : And nineteene hundred Serieants and eleuen . Corp'rals and Lantzprizadoes death did mixe In number seauenteene hundred sixty sixe . Of Souldiers , Mariners , women , children , all , More then seauen times ten thousand there did fall . Thus Ostend was at deare rates wonne and lost , Besides these liues , with many millions cost . And when 't was wonne , 't was wonne but on conditions , On honourable tearmes , and compositions : The winners wanne a ruin'd heape of stones , A demi-Golgotha of dead mens bones . Thus the braue Britaines that the same did leaue , Left nothing in it worthy to receiue . And thus from time to time , from age to age , To these late dayes of our last pilgrimage , We haue bin men with martiall minds inspir'd , And for our meeds , belou'd , approu'd , admir'd . Men prize not Manhood at so low a rate To make it idle and effeminate : And worthy Countrymen I hope and trust You 'le do as much as your forefathers durst , A faire aduantage now is offered here Whereby your wonted worths may well appeare , And he that in this quarrell will not strike , Let him expect neuer to haue the like . He that spares both his person and his purse , Must ( if euer he vse it ) vse it worse . And you that for that purpose go from hence To serue that mighty Princesse , and that Prince , Ten thousand , thousand praiers shall euery day Implore th' Almighty to direct your way . Goe on , goe on , braue souldiers , neuer cease Till noble warre , produce a noble peace . A briefe Description of Bohemia . THe Kingdome of Bohemia is well peopled with many braue horsemen and footmen : rich , fruitfull , and plentifully stored ( by the Almighties bounty , ) with all the treasuries of Nature fit for the vse and commodity of man : it hath in it of Castles and walled townes , to the number of 780 and 32000 villages ; by a grant from the Emperor Charles the fourth , it was freed for euer of the payments of all contributions to the Empire whatsoeuer , Morauia , Silesia , and Lusatia are as large as Bohemia , well replenished with stout horsmen and footmen . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13445-e270 * Prince of Ascania . Bishops of Halberstadt , Magenberg , Hilsheine , Osenburgh The Marquesse of Anspash , Cullinbagh , Durlagh . The Count Palatine of Lowtrecke and Luxenburgh . The States of Venice & Sauoy . 34 Battells fought in France by Englishmen since the Conquest . Henry the sixt . The praise of sir Iames Dowglas , in the raigne of K. Robert Bruce 1330. In 13. maine battells he ouercame Gods enemies , and at last was slaine . * The low countries , Holland , Zeland &c. 
A13446	----	Faire and fowle vveather: or a sea and land storme betweene two calmes. With an apologie in defense of the painefull life, and needfull vse of sailors. By Iohn Tailor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1615 Approx. 25 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 9 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13446 STC 23752 ESTC S102629 99838401 99838401 2777 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13446) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 2777) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1118:13) Faire and fowle vveather: or a sea and land storme betweene two calmes. With an apologie in defense of the painefull life, and needfull vse of sailors. By Iohn Tailor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [8] leaves Printed [by R. Blower] for W: B[utter?] and are to be solde by Edward Wright at Christ-Church gate, London : 1615. Signatures: A-B⁴. Printer's and publisher's names from STC. With woodcut title vignette. In verse. Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Sailors -- Social conditions -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion FAIRE AND fowle weather : OR A SEA AND LAND Storme , betweene two Calmes . WITH An Apologie in defence of the painefull life , and needfull vse of Sailers . By Iohn Tailor . LONDON , Printed for W : B. and are to be solde by Edward Wright at Christ-Church gate . 1615. To the Iudicious vnderstanding gentleman , and my much approued and esteemed good freind , Maister ROBERT BRANTHVVAITE , Gentleman Taylor of the Kings Maiesties Tower of London . Iohn Taylor Dedicates this his Poeticall Weatherworke , with his best wishes , for your hearts contentment . KInde Sir , my loue to you's ingag'd so deepe , That were I Idle , I were much ingratefull : Or should my thankes , forgetfull , euer sleepe In me , 't were base , vnmannerly and hatefull . Then though I cannot pay you halfe my score , Vouchsafe to take this trifle as a part , As time enables me you shall haue more , And therefore now accept my willing heart . I know , you well doe vnderstand and know The weake defects of my defectiue Muse , Yet doe I hope you will this fauour showe That loue may her vnwilling faults excuse . And so to your protection I commend This Pamphlet , as vnto my deerest freind . Yours in my best imployments to be commended . IOHN TAYLOR . Briefly to you that will Read. NOT vnto euery one can Reade , I write ; But onely vnto those that can Reade right . And therefore if thou canst not Read it well , I pray thee lay it downe , and learne to spell . But if thou wilt be hewing , ( like a drudge ) Hewe on , and spare not , but forbeare to Iudge . Thine if thou beest mine , Iohn Taylor . To his friend and neighbour Maister IOHN TAYLOR . FIerce Neptunes wrath , and Eol's angry spleene Full many a time I haue both felt and seene , In leaking ship , and which hath grieu'd me more , In a long night a darke Moone , and lee shore : But such a storme as thou describest h●ere , Amazeth mee with wonder and with feare And wert thou not both Water-man and Poet Thou neuer couldest halfe so plainely show it , I much reioyce thou safe on shore art come , And bid thee very kindly welcome home . Thomas Smith . To his friend Iohn Tailor . I Cannot tell , how other men may praise The pleasing Method , thy Minerua layes In whatsoe'r it workes on , but to me It offers much desir'd varietie , To passe dull howres withall : with that , affords Much vsefull matter , which with Phrase , and Words . And all the aptest ornament of writ Thy pen doth furnish : This last birth of wit Is witnesse , worth beleeuing . Like the Glasse Great Arts-men vse , in shewing things that passe In parts farre from vs. This presents a Flawe , Or Storme at Sea : for what I red , I sawe . I so may speake . Me thought I had in sight , A Clowd , as blacke as the darke Robe of Night : Saw that dissolue , and fall in such a showre , As ( mixt with lightning , and that voice of power , Makes Towres and Castles totter ) made an howre Full of confounding horrour . Then againe , Mine eyes sad obiect , was the troubled Maine : Sweld vp , and curl'd , with that impetuous breath , Makes Land-men quake , and Seamen oft see death . On this , me thought , I sawe a vessell tost , Higher then ken , and in minute , lost Betweene the Mountaine-billowes : At whose rise I sawe pale lookes , and heard the heauie ayes . Of those sad men that man'd her : After all , I sawe this Storme into a Calmenesse fall , As plaine , and smooth as Christall . In thy Booke All this is seene , as on thy lynes we looke . If where such life is , there can want delight , Though oft I read , I le neuer dare to write . Tho : B. FAIRE AND FOWLE WEATHER . YOV triple-treble , thrice three Nimphes Diuine , Inspire this weake capacitie of mine , Oh let me quaffe of your Pegassian bowle , That I may write of Weather Faire and Fowle . That to the life , my lynes may heere informe , Description of a Calme , and then a Storme : Giue me that power that my vnlearned Verse , The Readers apprehension so may peirce , That though the Weather be exceeding faire , They may suppose a fowle and troublous Ayre . And when they come to reade tempestuous lines Then though the winde sleepe , and Hiperion shines , Yet let them thinke Heauens Axletree doth cracke , And Atlas throwes his burden from his backe I wish my Verse should such Impression strike , That what men Read off , they should thinke the like . For apprehension must be quicke and yare , Imagination must be heere , and there , For if a Tempest be but smoothly read , It shewes the Readers Iudgement dull and dead . Or else to seeme to make the Welkin split , In thundring out a Calme shewes want of wit. Gainst Heau'n bread Poesie 't is the worst offence , To haue it hack'd , and read with sencelesse sence . THen first I will describe Faire weather , chearefull , To make Fowle weather after seeme more fearefull . Vpon an Euening when Apolloes beames Declinde vnto the occidentall streames , As of the day he tooke his kinde adiew , The Clowdes , vermillion , purple , red , and blewe , Put on the radient liueries of the Sunne , ( As quickly lost , as they were lightly wonne . ) To th'under world in hast he tooke his flight . And left th' Horizon all in darkenesse dight : Yet as he stoopt he glaunc'd his glorious eye , And staind the Welkin with a Crimson dye , Which did betoken , ( as old sawes doe say ) An Euening red , foretels a chearefull day . Sweete Philomella , gainst a therne did sing , Exclaiming gainst the lustfull Thracian King , Whilst Progne in the Chimneys top doth keepe And for her selfe-borne selfe slaine sonne doth weepe . Madge-how let whooting cuts the empty skyes , The light she flees , and in the night she flyes . Bright Cinthia rises from her watry bed , And shewes her pale fac'd siluer horned head : Belighted and attended from her porch With many an hundred thousand , thousand torch . She light doth runne , and as she runnes doth light , The vniuersall Arch of pitchie night . Husht silence , ( mortall foe to women kinde , In snoring sleepe did liuing sences binde , That ( but for Rowting , and for drawing breath ) It seem'd that all-deuouring grisly death ) Without respect of person , Sex , or Lawes , Had grasp'd the world in his insatiate pawes . At last the Cocke proclaim'd the daies approach , And Titan call'd for his Diurnall Coach. He kist Aurora , and she blushing red , Ashamed , hid her shamefac'd Maidenhead . Pale Leina is obscur'd , her race is runne , Her light 's extinguisht by the flaming Sunne . The bucksome day , roab'd in a silken Calme , With Zephers downy breath , as sweete as balme Perfum'd the vausty verge of the whole world , When golden Sel his glistring beames had hurld . And guilded tops of proud Clowd-kissing hils , And all the world with radient brightnesse fils . Faire Flora had embrodered ore the field , Whose various colours , various sents did yeild . The gentle winde amongst the leaues did whiske , The Goats did skip , the pretty Lambes did friske . The brookes did warble , birds did sweetly sing , With ioy to entertaine the gladsome Spring . Like heards of Kids the Porposes gan leape , The Seales and Scollopendraes , on a heape Doe vault and caper in such actiue sort That Neptune tooke delight to see the sport . The Mountaine Whale , in his wide yawning chaps , Made shoales of smaller fishes fragment scraps , To fill his endles , bowndlesse , greedie gut , ( For multitudes of littles hardly glut Th'unbottom'd gorge of gaping thirst for more , That pines in plentie , starues in midst of store ) Sterne Nereus slept , rap'd in a pleasant dumpe , Whilst Triton pip'd leuoltoes with his Trumpe . Old Oceanus nimbly skipt and praunc'd , And turne-coate Proteus with faire Thetis daunc'd . The scaly Dolphins mounted on the waues , And sportiue Sturgeons one another laues . The Seahorse did curuet , and kicke , and fling , And without rider , mounts and runnes the ring . Yea all the watry squandrons tooke delight , To see the Sea so still , the day so bright . Was neuer gentler Calme on Neptunes face , All Elements in friendly sort embrace , As if in loue they were combin'd together , To giue poore mortall creatures pleasant weather . BVt what is 't that continues permanent , That bydes belowe the spacious firmament Not any thing at all . Our sweet with sowre Is mixt and paine our pleasures doo deuoure . The pleasant fowntaines toads and aspicks breeds , In fairest fields are most contagious weeds . A minuts Ioy , foreruns a month of trobles , And vnder calmest Sea a tempest bubles . We ( in a merry , humor ) Ankers wayd ; And in a trice our winged sailes displaid . And with a fresh and friendly welcome gale , Into the Maine amaine we mainely saile . Our stedfast course , right North North East we keepe , We found and found the Sea ten fathome deepe . We had not saild aboue a league or twaine , But Eolus began to mount the Maine Of Neptunes Monarchy , and with a troope Of full mouth'd winds , that made great oakes to stoope . With Ceders , Pines , and tall wel-rooted Elmes , And topsie turuie lofty towres ore'whelmes . Resplendent Phoebus hid his glorious light , And day inuellop'd in a Roabe of night Attir'd the world in a blacke mourning towne , As all things had bin turned vpside downe . Ioues lightning flames , and dire amazing flashing , At whom the Sea-God hils of water dashing . Against the Heau'ns did seeme in a age t' aspire , T' extinguish Ioues Celestia 1 dreadfull fire . The spungy Clowds gainst one another crusht , And bursting , violent floods of Raine out gasht . Orion glar'd like a tempestuous Comet . Whilst Skyes , and Seas , did fire and water vomet . The ratling Thunder through the Ayre did rumble , As if Heau'ns frame into the Sea would tumble : Whole gusts of Sea ascends and fronts the Raine , And stormes of raine in fury fals againe , As if the Clowd contending water stroue , Great Neptune from his Palace to remoue . Big blustring Eoll blew confounding breath , And thunders dreadfull larums , threatned death . Downe powres whole floods of Raine and driu'ling sleete , As if Heau'n , Eath , and Sea had ment to meete In desperate opposition , to expire The World , and vnto Chaos backe retire . The rowling ruthlesse Billowes rage and rore , And batter'd fiercely gainst the rocky shore : Who by the rugged Crags repulsed back . With repercussiue anger threats our wracke . Thus whilst the Wind and Seas contending gods , In rough robustious furie were at ods , Our beaten Barke , tost like a forcelesse feather Twixt windes and waues , now hither and now thither , The top-mast sometimes tilting at the Moone , And being vp so soone , doth fall as soone , With such precipitating low descent , As if to Hels blacke Kingdome downe she went. The vncontroled Hipperboroean blasts Teares all to tatters , tacklings , sailes and masts . And boystrus gusts of Eurus breath did hizze , And mongst our shrowds and Cordage wildly whizze . Our Ship no Rudder , or no steerage feeles , But like a Drunkard to and fro she reeles , Vnmanag'd , guidlesse , vp and downe she wallowed , And of the foaming waues lookes to be swallowed . Midst darknes , lightning , thunder , fleete , and raine , Remorceles winds and mercie-wanting Maine , Amazement , horror , dread , from each mans face , Had chac'd away lifes blood , and in the place Was blacke dispaire , with haire heau'd vp vpright , With A shy visage , and with sad affright , As if grim death with his all-murdring Dart , Had ayming bin at each mans bloodles heart . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 s the Bote-swaine , lower , the top-saile low●● Then vp aloft runnes scrambling three or fewer , But yet for all their hurly burly hast , Ere they got vp , downe tumbles Saile and Mast. Veare the maine sheate there , then the Maister cride . Let rise the foretacke on the larboord side . Take in the foresaile , y are good fellowes , yare , Aluffe at healme there , ware no more beware . Steere South-South-East there , I say ware no more , Wee are in danger of the Leeward shore . Cleere your maine brace , let goe the hollin there , Porte porte the healme hard , Romer , come no neere . Then with a whiffe the winde amaine doth puffe , And then our Maister cride aluffe , aluffe , Clap hard the helme a Lee , yea , yea , done , done , Downe , downe alowe into the bold quicke , runne . The maine bend snackes , the plankes and timbers breake , Pump bullies , Carpenters quicke , at vp the looke . Well pumpt my hearts of gold , who saies ammends . The carefull Maister thus his throat he reads , Contending gainst the winde and weathers force , Till he with gaping and with toyle growes hoarce . But since the Thund'rens high imperious bride , Against AEneaes had her anger tride , ( Excepting this ) a Storme so full of rage , Was neuer seene or heard in any age . BVt when our losse of liues we most expected , Then pow'rfull pow'r of pow'rs vs all protected , The windes grew gentle that had blowne so stiffe , Sterne Eurus hyed him Eastward with a whiffe . And Rugged Boreas , Northward trudg'd a pace , Hamidious Auster , to the South did trace . Sweete breathing Zephirus cride Westward hoe , Thus homeward all the furious windes did goe . And as they scud they swept th'an euen Maine From gusts , and flawes , and leaues it smooth and plaine . Like as the grasse in field , some short , some long . Some greene , some dead , with witherd flowers among , Vnequally in height some high some lowe . Vntill the Mower equall all doth mowe , Where long and short cut downe together lies , And as it liues so it together dyes . Wherewith the sithe ( all sharpe and barbing keene ) The lab'rer shaues all euen , plaine and cleene . So are the billowes , blew , and greene , and white , By the winds home retreat all shauen quite . That Neptunes angry browe , look'd milde and euen , For Stormes and flawes before the windes were driuen : Or as a measure fild with Oates or Rye Vnstrooke and heap'd doth lye confusedly , Till at one stroake the Meater strikes it plaine , And makes the measure equall with the graine . So at one blow , the blowing of each , winde , Stooke Stormes before them , and left Calmes behinde . That as bright Tytan in his Course did passe , He made the Sea his amomours looking glasse . And as himselfe had of himselfe a sight , His shadow seem'd t'eclips his substance quite , That he amazed ran , and ran amaz'd . And gaz'd and wink'd , and wink'd againe and gaz'd , That as Narsissus dyed by his owne error So Titan was intangled in this mirror . Vntill at last a curled woolsacke clowd His glorious substance from his shade did shrowde Great Neptune to his Court descended deepe , And layd his head in Thetis lap to sleepe We presently let no aduantage slip , But nimbly we rerig'd our vnrig'd shippe , Our Courses , Bonnets , Drablers , Malts , and all With speede we merily to mending fall . And by Heau'ns fauour , and our willing paine , Into the wished hau'n we gaine a chaine . Wheare at an Anker we in safetie ride , Secur'd from stormes and tempests , winde , and tide . An Apologie for Sea-men , or the Description of a Marriners paines and aduentures . VP sluggard Muse from Leathe's lazy Lake , And in plaine tearmes , a true Description make , Of toyles , of dangers , and excessiue paines , That Sea-men suffer for the Land mens gaines . The one doth liue : Shore , in wealth and ease , The other surrowes through th' vncertaine Seas . The one in pleasure liues , and lyes at home , The other cuts the raging salt-Sea fome . The one aduentures onely but his goods , The other hazards all , both goods and bloods . Mongst Pirates , tempests , rocks , fogs , gulfes , and shelues , The Sea-men ventures all , and that 's themselues . The Land-man ( dangerlesse ) doth-eate and sleepe , The Sea-man slems and plowes the Ocean deepe . The one fares hard , and harder he doth lye , The other lyes and faires , soft , sweete , and dry . The one with dauntlesse vnrebated courage , Through greatest perils valliently doth forrage , And brings home Iewels , Siluer Gold , and Pearles , Tadorne both Court and Citie Dames , and Girles . They set whole Kingdomes both at wars or peace , They make wealth flowe , and plentie to encrease . The Countries farre remote , they doe vnite , They make vs sharers in the worlds delight : And what they get with paine , they spend in pleasure . They are no Mizers , boorders vp of treasure . The oldest man aliue , did neuer see A Sailer and a Niggards minde agree . No , if their paines at Sea were ten times more , T is all forgotten when they come a shore . And this much I dare publish with my pen , They are the best of Seruiceable men , The wals of Kingdomes , Castles of defence , Against Inuasion of each forreigne Prince . A torch lights not it selfe , yet wastes and burnes , So they their liues spend , seruing others turnes . The Marchant sits at home , and casts vp sums , And reckons gaines and losse , what goes , what comes : To what his whole aduentures may amount , He Ciphers , numbers , and he casts Account . And euery angy boystrous gust he heares Disturbs his sleepe , and fils his heart with feares . His goods at Sea awakes and startles him , For with them , his estate doth sinke or swim . But yet for all this heart tormenting strife , He 's in no daunger of the losse of life By cut throate Sea-theeues , or a world of woes , Which many a Sailers life and state or'throwes . The Mariner abides the desperate shocks Of winde and weather , Pirates , sands and rocks And what they get , they freely spend away , A whole months wages , in a night , or day . Their labours on the Sea , they leaue a shore And when all 's spent then to 't againe for more : And pitty t is there should be such neglect Of such , whose seruice merits such respect . Whole spawnes of Land-sharks , and of guilded Guls , Of painted Mammets , and ilfauourd truls , Will hold their noses and cry sogh and sye , When seruiceable Marriners passe by : And then ( their stomacks somewhat more to ease ) What stinking tarlubbers ( quoth they ) are these . Then Mistris Fumpe troubled with the stitch , She 's poysned with the smell of tarre and pitch . Some Frankinsence , or Iuniper , oh quick , Make haste I say , the Gentlewoman's sicke . And Mounsier Puffepast with the sattin slop , That sits in a Tobacco-sellers shop , And makes a stinke worse then a brace of Beares : When with a whiffe his witlesse worship sweares , How Sailers are Rude fellowes , and doe smell , Of pitch and tarre worse then the smoke of hell . But were the case now , as I erst haue knowne , That vse of men should haue their seruice showne , One Marriner would then doe much more good , Then twentie of these Sattin Milksop brood Of all men then the Nauigator can , For King and Countries cause , best play the man : And howsoere they smell of tarre and pitch , Their painefull toyles doe make great Kingdomes rich . I we by soraine Warre should be annoyed , Then chiefly Marriners must be imployed , They on the Sea must bide the fiercest brunt , Grim death and danger they must first affront . One fight at Sea , with Ships couragious mand , Is more then three great battels on the Land. There men must stand to 't , there 's no way to fly , There must they Conqu'rers liue or Conquerd die . And if they dye not by some launching wound . They are in hazard to be sunke and drownd . The murdring bullets , and the brinish waues , Are many a valliant Sea-mans death and graues . And t is a lamentable case to thinke , How these mens seruiceable number shrinke , Decreasing and consuming euery day , Where one doth breede , at least sowre doe decay , Some the Sea swallowes , but that which most grieues . Some turne Sea-monsters , Pirates , roauing theeues : Imploying their best skill in Nauigation , Gainst their owne Prince , and kin , and natiue Nation , By which meanes many a Marchant is vndone , And Pirates nere the better for what 's won . For if ( like Mosse his Mare ) they be catcht napping . They bid the world their last farewell at Wapping . Which fatall Hauen , hath as many slaine , As could disturbe and shake the power of Spaine : And want of meanes , but ( chiefly want of grace ) Hath made so many perish in that place . But to conclude my Ryme , with heart and speach . I doe my God ( for Iesus sake ) beseech , That he for Sailors will vouchsafe to please , To graunt them good imployment on the Seas . So honest salt-Sea-watermen adiewe , I haue bin , am , and will be still for you . Whilst I liue , IOHN TAYLOR . FINIS . 
A13447	----	A famous fight at sea VVhere foure English ships vnder the command of Captaine Iohn Weddell, and foure Dutch ships fought three dayes in the Gulfe of Persia neere Ormus, against 8. Portugall gallions, and 3. friggots. As also the memorable fight and losse of the good ship called the Lion, with the barbarous crueltie of the enemie truly declared. With a farewell and hearty well-wishing to our English sea and land forces. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1627 Approx. 47 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 17 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13447 STC 23753 ESTC S111388 99846748 99846748 11735 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13447) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 11735) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1190:16) A famous fight at sea VVhere foure English ships vnder the command of Captaine Iohn Weddell, and foure Dutch ships fought three dayes in the Gulfe of Persia neere Ormus, against 8. Portugall gallions, and 3. friggots. As also the memorable fight and losse of the good ship called the Lion, with the barbarous crueltie of the enemie truly declared. With a farewell and hearty well-wishing to our English sea and land forces. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [32] p. : ill. (woodcut) Printed by Iohn Hauiland for Henry Gosson, London : 1627. Signed at end: Iohn Taylor. Partly in verse. Signatures: A-D⁴. Running title reads: A braue sea-fight in the Gulfe of Persia. 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Naval battles -- Persian Gulf -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-07 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-12 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A FAMOVS Fight at Sea. WERE FOVRE English Ships vnder the command of Captaine Iohn Weddell , and foure Dutch Ships fought three dayes in the Gulfe of Persia neere Ormus , against 8. Portugall Gallions , and 3. Friggots . AS ALSO The memorable fight and losse of the good Ship called the Lion , with the barbarous crueltie of the Enemie truly declared . LONDON , ¶ Printed by Iohn Hauiland for Henry Gosson . TO THE RIGHT Worthy , Generous , and well experienced Commander Captaine IOHN WEDDELL , late Generall of the East-India Fleet. WOrthy Sir , hauing written the true manner of your late famous , perillous , and fortunate fight with the Portugalls in the Persian Gulfe , and knowing that Bookes without Patrons are like fatherlesse Children , I imagined that it was better to send it to you for succour and protection , than to any other whomsoeuer ; for the most part which is herein by Relation , I am assured that you doe know to be true by action , and my pen hath but only superficially pratled of those things which you saw , did , and suffered . I therefore humbly intreat you to accept this poore fish out of your owne Ocean , this sheepe of your owne fold , this cloth of your owne weauing , and this deserued memory of part of your worthy won reputation . Thus not doubting but your affabilitie is correspondent to your approued knowledge and knowne sufficiencie , I commit both my selfe and this Relation to your acceptance and good censure , my best wishes still attending on you , that your fortunes be euer equall to the goodnesse of your minde . Euer at your command to be imployed , IOHN TAYLOR . A famous fight at Sea in the Gulfe of Persia. THe Eternall prouidence hauing diuided mankinde into many Kingdomes , Climates , People , and Nations , yet to the end there should be a vnitie or mutuall society amongst all men , hee hath permitted traffique and Commerce betwixt Nation and Nation . Realme and Realme . Nauigation and Shipping being as it were the fleeting bridges , for the transportation and exportation of men & Merchandise , from Countrey to Countrey , that though God hath not inriched any one Kingdome or Countrey with all things , ( the one hauing what the other hath not : ) yet to maintaine humane society ( but chiefly for his owne glorie in dispersing his gifts ) Commerce and traffique hath been vsed at all times , and in all ages ; for the which noble imployments our Kingdome of England hath not beene inferiour to any Nation for the ability and worthinesse of Merchants , and I thinke not equalled by any for goodnesse and sufficiencie of skilfull Nauigators , and Marriners , and strength of shipping , and munition . So that neither the parching heat of Libia and Ethiopia , or the benumming frigidity of Groen-land , or the Hiperborean Icle Regions , neither the farre remotenesse of China Eastwards , or the vttermost bounds of the new world America Westwards , the dangers Stormes , Gusts , Flawes , Tempests , Spowts , and Tornadoes , or Monsoones , the hazard of Shoales , Rockes , Leakes , Enemies , Pirates , barbirous and cruell Nations , vnwholsome and vntemperate Aires and Climates , Sea or Land Monsters , or what perills may be named or thought vpon , hath euer daunted or hindred our Merchants and Mariners to prosecute and accomplish their continuall , laudable , and profitable vndertakings . Amongst whom our noble , worshipfull , and worthy East-India Merchants , and Aduenturers , may in these later times be held as superlatiue to those of former ages , their inestimable charge , their mighty force , their valuable returnes , and their aduenturous hazards rightly considered . All which being no part of my purpose to treas of , I referre the Reader onely to the description of two famous Sea-fights , performed betwixt the English and the Portugals ; which , though the newes of it could not be brought hither so soone as if it had beene done vpon the Coast of Zealand or Flanders ; yet , as soone as winde and weather could bring it , I had it , and with what time I could well spare I haue written it , assuring my selfe of what I dare assure my Reader , which is , that all is true . In which regard , I thought it vnfit to let it lie buried in obliuion , or the hatefull and ingratefull graue of forgetfulnesse . In it is valour described , and manifested in the liues and deaths of many of our English , and extreme cruelty and inhumanity in the Enemy . But to the matter . A braue Sea-Fight in the Gulfe of Persia. 4 English Ships . 1 The Royall Iames , Admirall . 2 The Ionas , Vice-Admirall . 3 The Starre , Reare-Admirall . 4 The Eagle , fourth Ship. Iohn Weddell chiefe Commander of the English Fleet. 4 Dutch Ships . 1 The South-Holland Admirall . 2 The Bantam Vice-Admirall . 3 The Maid of Dort , Reare-Admirall . 4 The Wesope , fourth Ship. Albert Becker , chiefe Commander of the Dutch Fleet. THe 30. of Ianuary 1624. being Friday , the English and Dutch Ships being in the Road of Gombroone , there arriued a small Frigot belonging to a place neere Chowle , ( which is in warre with the Portugals ) she came in betweene the Maine and Ormus , to whom the Generall of the English , Capt. Iohn Weddell , sent Mr. Andrew Euans , in a little Boat called a Gellywat , to know from whence he came , and whether hee could giue vs any intelligence of the Portugall Armado ; his answer was , that hee came from a place some eight or ten leagues to the Southwards of Chowle , laden with Pepper and other Merchandise , and withall he said , that on the Saturday before , being the 24. of Ianuary , he was of the Cape called Cape Gordell , halfe way betwixt the Coast of India , and Cape Iaques , where to Seaward of him hee saw eight great Gallions , and certaine Frigots , which Frigots gaue him chase , but he kept himselfe so neere the shore , that they could not fetch him vp ; and this was the first information of the neere approach of the Enemie . The 31. of Ianuary in the morning , the English and Dutch Fleet heard three peeces of Ordnance goe off from Kishme Castle , ( a strong hold , and in warre with the Portugals ) the Captaine of the said Castle hauing before promised the Generall ( Captaine Weddell ) that if he descried any Crosse Sailes or Ships in sight of the Castle , that then he would discharge those Peeces as a warning vnto him , which accordingly he did . Wherupon a man was sent vp to the top-mast head in the English Admirall , to looke abroad , who being vp , presently cried a saile , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8. with many Frigots in their company , then the Generall commanded the Gunner to shoot off a Peece of Ordnance , to giue warning to all the Fleet to put themselues in readinesse for the entertainment of the Enemy , putting also the bloudy Colours out , as likewise the Dutch Admirall did the like , with all speed getting their men and boats from the shore , weighing their Anchors of all hands , and getting vnder saile with all possible celerity , with courage and resolution they stood towards the Enemy , ( whose drift was to haue taken the English and Dutch at Anchor vnprepared ) but their expectations were frustrate . Towards 8. of the clocke at night it fell calme , so that our ships came to an Anchor , when the Commander of the Dutch Fleet ( named Albert Becker ) sent his Master of his ship , accompanied with some other Merchants , and Masters aboord the Royall Iames , informing Captain Weddell that their Commander had sent them to see how he did , and what hee thought the ships and Frigots to be that they had descried . The Commander Weddell answered , that they could be no other than the Portugall Armado , which had beene two yeares preparing to meet with the English and Dutch , and that now they were come in search of them , from Goa , vnto this place , hoping first to conquer both our and their Nation , and afterwards to fall to worke vpon Ormus , Kishme , and Gombroone , to destroy our setled trade , and to extirpe and root vs out with all hostility and dishonour . Then the Dutch demanded Captaine Weddells Resolution , concerning so common and open an Enemie , he told them that his resolution was , for the glory of God , the honour of his Nation , the profit of worthy Imployers , & the safeguard of liues , ships , & goods , he would fight it out as long as a man was liuing in his ship to weare a Sword , and that he doubted not but the other three ships vnder his Command were all of the same minde and courage ; to whom the Dutchmen answered , that they were of the like resolution , and would sticke as close to the English as their shirts to their backs , and so in friendly manner each tooke leaue of other for that night . The first of February , being Sunday , the Dutch Admirall weighed Anchor an houre before day-light , and the English presently after him , but the Dutch got the start of vs all , though we made al the saile we could ; at last the English came vp to him with their whole Fleet , but he discharged the first shot at the Portugall Admirall , who presently answered him with three for one . The friends and foes being now within Musket shot of each other , it fell calme , whereby our ships would not worke but as the Tide did set them , that when the Portugalls were Boord and Boord , they had a great aduantage of vs with their Frigots that towed them cleare one off another often , which helpe we wanted , thus we lay some foure or fiue houres pelting and beating one another with our Ordnance , the whilst the Frigots plyed vs with small shot , as fast as they could , the Royall Iames being forced to keepe the Barge a head to pull the ships head to and fro ; but towards the afternoone there arose a fine gale , but the Enemy had the wind of vs , whereupon the Admirall and Vice-Admirall of the Portugalls bore vp roome vpon vs , making account to lay the Royall Iames aboord , the one on the Starboord , the other on the Larboord side , which Captaine Weddell perceiuing , scarce being able to shun it , he called to the Master , and told him the purpose of the Enemy , to auoyd which danger , hee commanded the Master to beare a little lasking to separate them further each from other , that hee might haue more roome to goe betweene them , the Vice-Admirall of the Enemie seeing the Iames beare vp so lasking , she likewise bore vp with her , when suddenly Captaine Weddell perceiued there was hope to weather him , caused his Mizzen and Mizzen top-saile to be set , and so presently got the wind of him , edging close vp with the Admirall , being within Musket-shot of them both ; the Portugall Admirall put to stay , by which meanes the Iames gate the wind of him also , hauing much adoe to get out a weather of him , comming so close vnder his sterne , that his Boats were close at our ships side as she sheared by , when presently we gaue him a whole broad-side , euery shot taking him fore and after , tacking forth with , and standing after him . Thus the first dayes fight lasted till fiue at night , wherein the Royall Iames lost eight men , and some others which had some small hurts : Also this day the Dutch lost their chiefe Commander , a braue valiant fellow , who liued and died nobly in the bed of honour . This fight was terrible and fierce for the time , for the Royall Iames alone spent neere 700. great shot , and all the other ships English and Dutch , did proportionably doe the like . The Sunne being set , the Enemy fell off , and came to an Anchor at the East end of Kishme , the English being North-northwest from them two leagues , thus was concluded the first dayes fight . Munday the 2. of February , being Candlemas day , the wind being very little which blew off from Kishme , so that the Enemy had the aduantage of it , but neuer offered to make vse of it , to make roome towards vs ; the English and Dutch being imployd busily to fit vp their torne rigging and tackling , and stopping such dangerous shot as they had receiued in the fight betwixt wind and water . Also the same day in the afternoone there was a meeting aboord the Royall Iames , where both the English and Dutch concluded , that they would giue the Enemy fight the next morning , and that the Royall Iames should be the leading ship , and the Admirall of the Dutch should second her , and that they should goe directly to the Enemies Admirall , not striking higher or lower till the Iames came side by side with her . So the third of February being Tuesday , both the Fleets weighed Anchors at breake of day , hauing the weather gage of the Enemy , the great Iames stood right with the Admirall of the Portugalls , which was head-most but one ; but comming neere them , they weaued to Leeward with their bright arming Swords , and we the like to them , they saluted vs with a whole broad side ; but Captaine Weddell commanded his men not to answer them , till they were brought neerer within danger , which charge was obeyed ; but being come neere the Admirall , and another of their ships , the great Iames bestowed vpon each of them a whole broad side , making them both to beare vp , the one a port , and the other a starboord , by which meanes one of their ships was cut off and sundred from them , and was chased three or foure houres by the Eagle , and Weasope ; the hope of the English and Dutch being that she should no more returne to her Fleets Company ; the Iames following still the Admirall and Vice-Admirall , got vpon the Admiralls side , hauing the Vice-Admirall on his Starboord bow ; insomuch that this daies fight grew very hot , for often the Iames was in thickest of the Enemy , being at one time all round about vs ; but our men so plyed their Ordnance vpon them , that they all refused to stand by vs , but fled all before vs as chaffe , dust , or smoake before the wind . In this fight the Iames got between one of their Fleet , and singled her out , lying by her sides with fore-saile , and fore-topsaile a backe stayes , so neere as a man might quoit a Bisket Cake into her , when straight Master Iohnson came vp in the sterne of the Iames , so neere as he could hardly keepe cleare , to whom Captaine Weddell called , willing him to clap the Portugall aboord on the Larboord quarter , ( whilst the Iames lay thundring vpon him with her great Ordnance ) he promised to doe it , but after he refused it , this Vessell had not so few as 500. shot thorow her Hull , Masts , Sailes , and Yards , before she got cleare . This third day the fight was very violent , for the Royall Iames onely spent 2000. and odde shot vpon the enemy , foure men being slaine in her , and three others their legs shot off . In her Masts , Yards , Rigging and Hull , she had receiued aboue 400. great shot ; both parties at Sun-set being so faint and weary , that they all left off , the Portugalls came to an Anchor vnder Ormus , and the other neere Gombroone Road , this fight last neere eight houres . Note , that the morning Captaine Weddell had fitted a Portugall Vessell ( which had beene formerly taken with some Cokernuts ) and purposed to haue fired her thwart the Admiralls Hawse , she being appointed to come between the Dutch Admirall , and the Ionas , but through disaster , or rather negligence in Darby the Master , who came not vp according to his appointed place , she was chased by the Frigots ( she hauing but ten men in her ) being of no defence , they were forced to set her on fire farre from the Fleet , and so the men betooke themselues to a Barge , which was left them for their safety , by which meanes the Generalls proiect was disappointed . All this third day at night this Vessell burnt , & two houres before daylight , whether she was towed by some of the Enemies Boats , or no , is vnknowne , but she came burning amongst the English and Dutch Fleets , and forced them from their Anchors by slipping their Cables , which Anchors they tooke vp some three daies after . The 4. of February in the morning , both Fleets made towards the Enemies , who were vnder saile , and made all the haste they could to get vnder the Iland of Lowracke , which lieth some eight or nine miles from Ormus , vnto which Iland their Frigots went ahead , conducting them in ouer a Barre , whom the English and Dutch followed as farre as with safety they durst , hauing neither the helpe of Pilots to shun the dangers of the place , or Frigots to goe a head as conductors , as the Enemy had . Besides , there might haue beene Ordnance planted a shore by the Enemy , which would haue been greatly to their aduantage , or otherwise in the darke night they might haue chained two or three Frigots together , and turning them vpon them , vpon the Ebbe thwart their hawse , might much haue endangered them , they knowing the Enemie to be implacable , malicious , and politique ; these reasons caused them to follow them no further at this time , but to come to an Anchor a League from them , when Captaine Weddell sent for the chiefe of the Dutch , whose resolution was to go backe againe for Gombroone , there to dispatch our Merchants affaires . So Anchors were weighed , the Iames giuing them a shot for a farewell , and they answered her with the like , they all getting into Gombroone Road that night , where they speedily fell to worke to repaire the ruines of warres , in sitting of Masts , Yards , Sailes , rigging and stopping breaches , all which in three daies , was accomplished , leauing the Portugall like a Theefe in his Mill , or a Fox in his hole , not minding to trie as yet the hazard of another bout . In this fight their Reare-Admiralls maine Mast was shot by the boord , their Vice-Admiralls maine top-mast was likewise shot by the boord , their Admiralls Mizzen-mast , Flag , and flag staffe shot by the boord , and her Hull much rent and torne . Their fourth ship had the head of her maine Mast shot by the boord . Another of their ships had al her top-masts shot by the boord . In conclusion , all their eight ships were so torne and tattered , that they had neither good Masts , Sailes , or Yards to helpe themselues with , nor tight sides to beare saile vpon . Thus it pleased the Almighty to giue the victory of the day vnto those that relie vpon his promise ; to that great God be all glory for euer , and let all true Christians say Amen . The 13. of February being Friday , the English and Dutch Fleets set saile at day-light from the Road of Gombroone , hauing also with them foure Iunks , other vessels of lading , vnder the conduct and charge of the Dutch , which as soone as the Enemy perceiued , they let slip their Cables and slipped from their harbour at the Iland of Lawracke , which is foure or fiue Leagues from the Road of Gombroone , the Enemy making all the saile he could to sea-boord of the English and Dutch all the day till Sun-set ; when they were got within Saker-shot of each other , and a good bearing gale , they all kept company together all night . This 13. at night it blew so hard at West-south-west , that one of their great Gallions bore ouer-boord the head of her maine Mast , close vnder the hownds , not being able to hoyst vp her maine saile , she was forced to steere alongst with her fore-saile , fore-top-saile , her Sprit-saile , and Mizzen , the wind being at West-South-West , they steered away South and by East . The 14. in the morning the Dutch Fleet staying , and bearing vp vnto the Iunke , the night past was a storme so farre , that the English Fleet could scarce descry them ; so the Iames laid her fore-saile a backe-staies , staid for them , the Portugall neuer offering to alter his course , but kept on still . The same day about noone the Dutch being come vp with the English , it was agreed betweene them , that the Royall Iames should giue the first on-set vpon their Admirall , and the rest of the Fleet to second her ; so about two of the clocke that afternoone the two Fleets came to weather of the Enemies Admirall , receiuing the first shot from their Vice-Admirall , and presently a whole broad side from their Admirall , both sides comming as neere each other as they could but well keepe cleane of each other , they fell to it of all hands pell mell , the Ordnance going off as fast as small shot , the Iames for her part giuing them two broad sides , shee then edgd vp in the winde , laying her fore-saile and fore-top-saile a backe staies , as well to giue leaue to the Ionas , ( who was second to the Iames ) as also to suffer the Portugall Admirall to shoot a head , which she suddenly did , then the Iames filling her top-saile the second time , bore vpright with the Enemie Admirall , plying her whole broad side so fast vpon him , that hee had scarce leasure to returne any shot backe , whilst the English and Portugall Admiralls were so neere each other , that they could hardly cleare themselues . In this time whilst our ships plyed the Enemies Admirall , ( not so much looking after , or heeding the other ships ) the Vice Admirall , with the rest of their Fleet , were left a sterne , their Admirall plyed very hard vpon the Iames , giuing and receiuing many dangerous shots , the Iames being shot betweene wind and water often , and had more spoile in her Sailes and Rigging than she had done any of the two daies fight before , then the third time comming side by side with each others Fleet , they let driue one at another like Thunder in the aire , the Iames comming vp with the Admirall ( the great ship of Damon , who the first daies fight lost her maine Mast ) crept in betwixt the Iames and the Portugall Admirall , lying as a Bulwarke to weather of her , to receiue all that might be put vpon her , and indeed all that was meant to haue been bestowed vpon the Admirall , was still plyed vpon that great Hulke ; as likewise the Iames , and Dutch , did continue this third daies fight til day-light was shut in , the Portugalls edging vp to get neere the Arabian shore , in so much that at eight at night both English and Dutch were faire by it , chasing them in . This night the English and Dutch steered away their course for Surat , the Portugalls steering for Swar , a place where they haue a Castle . The Royall Iames with the rest , were forced to giue euen the Chase for these reasons . FIrst , for that the time of yeare was so farre spent , that they should not haue time enough to deliuer their goods at Surat , and so to goe cleere off the coast before the Westerly Monsoone , which is a wind that blowes at west six moneths together , beginning in Aprill , would be come , and so endanger the ships in getting off againe . A second reason was , that the Royall Iames had but 31. Barrells , and some 500. Cartregos fild with Powder , and some 600. shot all which was not aboue three quarters of a dayes fight for her vse , for in her former dayes worke the third of February she alone spent 1000. great shot vpon the Enemy , so that now through want of Powder she was not able to maintaine such another fight according to that rate . And this last dayes fight she lost but one man , hauing spent vpon the Enemy more than three hundred great shot . To the Lord of hosts the only giuer of victory , the mighty God of battels , be all honour , glory , praise and dominion for euer , Amen . A note of the mens names slaine in these three seuerall fights with the Portugalls , out of the English Fleet. Slaine in the Royall Iames. Richard Dauis quarter Masters . Nicholas Burton quarter Masters . Robert Skalfe , Gunners Mate . Ioseph Wright Carpenters . Thomas Bland Carpenters . Iohn Bircham Carpenters . Godfrey Howton Carpenters . Richard Dauis Iunior Sailers . Richard Walker Sailers . Iohn Maisters Sailers . William Wilcockes Sailers . William Clarke dismembred in their legs , and died . William Surnam dismembred in their legs , and died . Slaine in the Ionas . Robert Nodding , Masters Mate . John Beedam , mid ship-man . William Adams . Robert Sancie . Edward Wilkinson . Robert Larke . Richard Hergell . Francis Blow . Thomas Page . Thomas Wilkinson . Thomas Williams . Slaine in Starre . Iames Wanderion . William Carter . Reignold Sanderson . Charles Robinson . Slaine in the Eagle . Iohn Sares. The Dutch lost neere the like number , amongst whom their chiefe Commander Albert Beaker slaine the first dayes fight . A Relation by Peter Hillion a Frenchman , of the force of eight Portugall Gallions , which fought with the English and Dutch Fleet , in the Gulfe of Persia ; as also the spoile they receiued by them , with their number of men slaine , on the 1.3 . and 14. of February 1624. himselfe being then in the Admirall ; which afterwards riding with three more of her fleet at the Riuers mouth of Surat , he escaped from her , and ran to the English , which were then riding in the Barre of Surat . THeir Admirall named S. Francisco Sanuer , wherein was Generall Non Alua Basellia , had 48. peeces of Brasse Ordnance of whose Cannon , Demy-Cannon , Cannon Pethrow , whose Culuering , and Demy-Culuering , and 350. men , of which were slaine 38 , whereof three were chiefe Captaines vnder the aforesaid Generall , named Lorenzo Luis , Ieronimo Botella , and Brossa Coze , who all three were kild with one shot , the ships Fore-mast , Bospreer , and maine Mast were so torne with shot , that they were vnseruiceable , her Mizzen-mast , Flag and Flag-staffe shot by the boord , with the head of her maine top-mast , and her Rigging much rent and torne . Their Vice-Admirall named likewise S. Francisco , wherein was Commander Francisco Burge , had 32. peeces of Ordnance as the former , and 250. men , of which were slaine 31. the aforesaid Commander being one of the number , her maine top mast shot by the boord , her maine Mast , fore-mast , and Bospreet so torne , that they were vnseruiceable . Their Reare-Admirall named S. Sebastian , ( their biggest ship ) wherein was Commander Don Antonio tela , who was lamed of an arme , had 40. peeces of Brasse Ordnance as the former , and 400. men , whereof 20. were slaine , her maine Mast , fore-top-mast , fore-yard , and Spritsaile-top-mast shot by the boord , and her fore-mast so vnseruiceable , that she could beare no more saile but her Sprit-saile . Their fourth ship named S. Saluador , wherin was Commander Don Francisco de Tuar , had 24. peeces of Brasse Ordnance , and 250. men , 41. whereof were slaine , the aforesaid Commander being one of the number , his masts were so rent and torne , that they were all vnseruiceable . Their fifth ship named S. Iago , wherein was Commander Simon de Kintalle , had 22. peeces of Brasse Ordnance , and 200. men , whereof were slaine 83. her Masts were all standing , but she so leaked betweene wind and water , by shot receiued , that they had much to doe to free her , so that she was cast away vpon the Coast of India seuen daies after . Their sixth ship named Trinidada , wherein was Commander Pedro Alua Botelia , had 22. peeces of Brasse Ordnance , and 250. men , 243. whereof were slaine , his Top-masts were all shot by the boord , and her other so torne , that she could beare no saile thereon , but was towed by the Great Hulke Reare-Admirall , from Muscas to Goa . Their seuenth ship named S. Antonio , wherein was Commander Antonio Burallia , had 22. peeces of Brasse Ordnance , and 200. men , whereof 22. were slaine , her Masts were all standing , but she very leake by shot receiued betwixt wind and water , and the seuenth day after she was cast away vpon the Coast of India . Their eighth ship named Miserere-Cordium , wherein was Commander Emanuel Rodreeges Chaua , had 22. peeces of Brasse Ordnance , and 200. men , whereof three were slaine , her fore-top-mast , maine-yard , fore-yard , and maine-top-saile-yard shot by the boord , and her fore-mast so torne that it was vnseruiceable . A Table containing the former numbers .   Ordnance . Men. Men slaine The Admirall had 48 350 38 The Vice-Admirall had 32 250 31 The Reare-Admirall had 40 400 20 The fourth Ship had 24 250 41 The fifth Ship had 22 200 83 The sixth Ship had 22 250 243 The seuenth Ship had 22 200 22 The eighth Ship had 22 200 3 The summe 232 2100 481 Thus it pleased God in mercy that the English and Dutch , not being halfe the numbers of the Enemy , neither in men or Ordnance , that with onely the losse of 58. or 60. men , they should kill 481. of the Portugals , and with all so to beat them , ( notwithstanding the helpe of 16. Frigots ) being so torne that they were cast away seuen dayes after , and the rest all vnseruiceable , and not daring to stand to the hazard of another conflict . A briefe description of the Disaster of the good ship called the Lion , one of our English ships , trading to the East India , who was lost in fight with the Portugalls , neere Gombroone in the Gulfe of Persia , on the eighth of Nouember 1625. THe seuenth of October 1625. about 4. in the morning , the Palsgrane , Dolphin , and Lion anchored about three Leagues to the Southwards of Surat Barre , and when it grew light ( men being in the top ) espied certaine Roaders , riding against Surat Riuer , which some supposed to be English or Hollanders , others affirmed to be a Fleet of Frigots ; but in fine , about an houre after they set saile and steered after vs , and in short space we made them to be foure Portugall Gallions , and fifteene Frigots , the wind being then of shore , they could not come to vs that tide , but anchored about a League from vs , our Captaine perceiuing their intents , put forth an Ensigne for Counsell , and the Master of each Ship presently repaired aboord . At which consultation , as it was reported by our Master M. Richard Swanley , Captaine Blithe propounded that he thought it expedient to set saile , and stand off to Sea againe , and by that meanes to abate the force of the Frigots , and if it fell out so that our Ships sailed better than the Portugalls , we should stand direct for Ormus ; the reasons he gaue for it were these , viz. first , hee doubred that the Portugall had a great force of shipping in Swalley Road. Secondly , hee feared whether our Merchants had friendship with the Countrey people , or not , by reason of the discord which was between them at the Dolphins preparations for England , which was the last newes hee heard from thence . Thirdly , he doubted that the Portugalls had made peace with the Gazerats , and had planted Ordnance a shore on Swalley sands . Hee also doubted what was become of Captaine Weddells Fleet , for he assured himselfe , if there were any friends at that time in Swalley Road , they would not suffer the Portugall to ride there , for he supposed that the Portugall had beene in fight with them the yeare past , and had either put them to the worst , or else for want of munition to effect another fight , they were forced to repaire to Ormus Castle for succour vntill supply came out of England . All which being propounded , and the vnreadinesle and great charge of all three ships well considered , it was concluded to set saile , the which we did , the wind being Northerly , and the tide of stoud come , we stood for Sea , and the Portugall Admirall and Vice-Admirall sayling better than the rest , fetcht vs vp about foure in the afternoone , at which time the Lion being formost of our Fleet , the enemy Admirall shot one peece of Ordnance at her , for the which she answered three of foure , but could hardly reach further than halfe way : the Portugall finding his Ordnance better than ours , both Admirall and Vice-Admirall plyed vpon the Lion for the space of halfe an houre , in which time she receiued diuers shot both in her Hull and Rigging . Our Master Richard Swanley , seeing their aduantage , caused to bruile maine-saile , and edge within Musket-shot of them both , and there maintained fight with them vntill Sunne-set , and receiued no hurt at all . All which time , and an houre after , being calme , the other two ships of the Enemy were at least a League a starne . The Palsgrane , and Dolphin all this time being right a head , kept on their course , only plying their starne peeces . The Portugals seeing them still stand away , came both aboord of vs , the one in the one quarter , and the other in the other , and entred at least 100. of their men , heauing fire-pots , and diuers sorts of fire-works vpon our decks , the Frigots ( as many as could lye about vs ) threw firepots in at the ports , and stucke fire-pikes in her sides ; all which ( by the great mercy and assistance of God ) wee still put out . Our Admirall and Vice-Admirall , in this our misery were quickly out of our sight , the cause whereof is best knowne to themselues . This conflict remained from 8. at night till about 11. in which space our Master Richard Swanley was slaine , and 4. more of our men were also slaine , 3. of our Masters Mates , and 20. more were exceedingly burnt , the rest almost wearied , and more discomforted , by reason our Fleet had left vs , and in briefe we were in that case that the word was giuen to blow vp the ship , had not God in his wisdome staid it , by putting it in the minde of some of our men to let fall an Anchor , which being done ( the tide running very strong ) brought our ship to so strong a bitter , that the fast which the Portugals had vpon vs brake , whose vnexpected ▪ sudden departure from vs left 50 or 60 of their men vpon our Poope , who still maintained the fire in such sort , that we were forced to blow them vp , which blast tore all the Starne of our ship in peeces , from the middle-Decke vpwards . The Portugals being all repulsed , and the fire put out , we vsed all diligence for the clearing our ship , and getting vp our maine-top-saile-yard , which then lay vpon our Decke , likewise bringing new sailes to Yard , the former being all burnt and torne , all which being as well done as haste would giue leaue , wee expected their comming again the next tide , but they hoping we would either haue burnt or sunke , onely left fiue Frigots without shot of vs , and themselues with the other two ships that were formerly a starne stood after the Palsgraue and Dolphin , and in short space fetcht them vp , and fought with them all that night , they standing still off to Sea , were but off our sight the next morning . The 8. day in the morning , ( all the ships being out of our sight ) it was agreed vpon by the Officers of our ship , that Henry Crosbey our Masters chiefe Mate should succeed as our Commander , vntill such time as it pleased God we should meet with our Commander . This being done , we being not able to weigh our Anchor , by reason our men were most of them hurt , cut Cable in the hawse , and set as much saile as wee durst beare , ( our fore-mast hauing receiued three shot , in such wise , as it had but foure inches hold ) and stood off to Sea , and being faire weather , praised be God , in short time our fore-mast was made seruiceable . The Frigots aforesaid that were left by vs , stood foure of them after the Fleet , and the other in for the shore , all that day we heard them in sight , but saw them not , likewise the next night wee could see the light of their Ordnance at our top-mast head ; but they being to wind-ward of vs , we could not get to them , nor indeed were not in case if we could , for our ship was so open , and all our chiefe men kild and hurt . The ninth in the morning , we could neither see them , nor heare them , then it was thought fitting by our Master , that according to the consultation held aboord the Palsgraue the seuenth day wee should stand for Ormus , the which ( by the assistance of God ) wee did , hauing faire weather all the way ; in which time of our sailing , our Carpenters had got vp all the sterne of our ship againe , as well as his store would giue him leaue , our men also were all well recouered of their hurts . The fourth of Nouember wee arriued at Gombroone , where wee had intelligence by our Merchants there resident , that Rufrero was riding vnder Ormus Iland , with 18. or 20. Frigots , the which when our Master vnderstood , ( the Merchants being then aboord ) it was concluded by consultation , that to preuent any ensuing danger that might happen , and also for the cleering of our ship , wherby to mount our lower Tier , all the Cloth , and Currall , and foure Chests of money should be sent a shore with as much speed as possible , the other our Master refused to send out of the ship , alleaging , that if it should please God they were forced to leaue the Port by any disaster , there was no stocke to buy any refreshing for our men which then did want it ; the rest of our Carriages or Goods lying low in Hold , could not then be come by , without much time which then we wanted . It was also appointed that we should with all speed take in water , and stand for Ormus , the which was assaied to doe , and partly effected , for vpon the fifth day the Merchants and our Purser rode with all speed to the Sultan , ( who was then out of Towne ) to intreat for Boats to land the goods , and to water our ships , the which he granted , and also gaue vs a Boat to make vs a Long-boate , by reason wee had lost both our Skiffe and Long-boat the last fight . The sixth there came Boot-hailers aboord , and tooke all the goods aforesaid , and carried them a shoare , and also tooke in Caske to fill with water . The seuenth of Nouember there came twelue Tunne of water aboord , which was presently taken in , and more Caske sent a shore , also in this short time our Lower orlope was almost made Priddie , and our two Chase peeces were mounted , and wee were in good hope the next day to take in water enough to serue vntill the Fleet came to stand ouer for Ormus ; but God hauing otherwise appointed , it fell out contrary . The eighth day , about seuen in the morning , Rufrero with his Frigots came rowing towards the ship , and being then calme that the ship could not worke , he came in such sort , that she could haue none but her Chase peece to beare vpon them , which lay so well to passe , that they sunke two of their Frigots before they could boord her , and two more after they were by her sides . But after they were a boord they plied their small shot in such wise , that they were not able to open a Port in the ship , but were forced to shute away Ports , and all . They also maintained such abundance of fire-workes round about her , that in a moment all her Masts and Sailes were on fire , her vpper Decke was also on fire , the which for all their heauing much water vpon it , in lesse than halfe an houre fell downe vpon their heads , and put them from their Ordnance , who seeing death on each side , some leaped ouer-boord , and put themselues to the mercy of their enemies , the rest gaue fire to the Powder-roome , and blew vp the ship . Those men which leaped ouer-boord were all receiued into the Frigots , and carried vnto Ormus Iland , and the next morning Rufrero gaue order to cut off all their heads but one , namely , Thomas Winterborne , whom he sent with a letter to the Merchants at Gambroone , the rest being 26. persons were immediatly beheaded . Those that were blowne vp in the ship droue a shore , and were buried at Gombroone , being in number 42. there were also 9. men a shore about the Companies affaires , and one that Rufrero sent with a letter makes 10. whom God grant neuer worse fortune . Thus was this good ship and men vnfortunately and lamentably lost , yet as much courage and manly resolution as possibly could be was performed by the Engligh , nor can it be imagined how more industry or truer valour could haue been shewed ; on the other side the cruell and bloud-thirsty Enemy gained nothing but knockes , losse of liues and limbes , hauing his Frigots suncke and torne in peeces , his maine purchase being dishonour and infamie , for after all our men had fought so long , and so manfully , being besieged round with death , as the Sea to swallow them , the fire to consume them , or the Portugals swords to cut their throats , not being possible to escape one of these waies of eminent danger , that then in that extremity 27. men leaping into the Sea , were all aliue taken vp by the Enemy , whom had hee then kild in heat of bloud , when warre , rage , death and fury were vp , it had beene then but the effect and fortune of warre ; but to giue them harbour all night , and the next day in cold bloud to cause them to be beheaded , it was one of the ignoblest , inhumane , and barbarous parts of murther that could be committed . But Rufrero being a Portugall or Spaniard , could doe no other ( for the honour of his Countrey ) but shew his bloudy nature , especially to our Nation : a Barbarian , a Turke , or a Iew should haue found more kindnesse , for indeed they all are of one disposition . And I am sure no Record or Chronicle can shew , no History can report , no tradition can declare ; nor any memorie relate , that euer any Englishman , or almost any other Nation ( except the Spaniard ) did murther so many disarmed naked men , hauing had them all a whole night in their custodie . A farewell and hearty well-wishing to the noble attempts of our English Sea and Land forces , with their Allies and Confederates . YOu Sonnes of Mars , that surrow Neptunes brow , And o're the dang'rous Deepe ( vndanted ) plow ; You who esteeme your Countreys honour more Than life , or pelse , ( which Peasants doe adore , ) Your noble Ancestours , whose memories Are borne by fame as farre as Titans Rise , And vniuersally diuulg'd from thence The Circle of the Worlds circumferenoe , Let their example be a Spurre to you , That you their worthy vertues may pursue : They were but men , and you are each so much , They were victorious , may you each be such ; They had good courage , guided with good skill , Which Skill and Courage , Fortune , Grace , and Will , I doe implore th' Almightie to bestow On you in generall , All , both high and low . Time doth record , our Britaines matchlesse force By Sea and Land , with valiant foot or horse , Hath made France tremble , and proud Spaine to quake , And great Ierusulems foundations shake : And as true valour did inspire their brests , So Victorie and Conquest crown'd their Crests . O may your good intendments fall out right , The God of Battels still your battells fight ; That as your Fathers were , so you may be Rare Patternes vnto your posteritie : That all our Foes with terrour now may know They haue beene beaten , and they must be so . True Honour , Fame , and Victorie attend you , And high Iehouah in your cause defend you : That Immortality your fames may Crowne , And GOD may haue the Glorie and Renowne . IOHN TAYLOR . FINIS . 
A13448	----	The fearefull summer, or, Londons calamity, the countries courtesy, and both their misery by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1625 Approx. 43 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 16 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13448 STC 23754 ESTC S531 22601106 ocm 22601106 25626 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13448) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 25626) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1759:1) The fearefull summer, or, Londons calamity, the countries courtesy, and both their misery by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [30] p. Printed by Iohn Lichfield and William Turner, printers to the famous vniversity, Oxford : 1625. In verse. Signatures: A-B⁸ (last leaf blank). Reproduction of original in the Bodleian Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-09 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-09 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE FEAREFVLL SVMMER : OR LONDONS CALAMITY , the countries courtesy , and both their misery . By IOHN TAYLOR . OXFORD , Printed by Iohn Lichfield and William Turner , Printers to the famous Vniversity . Anno Dom. 1625. TO THE TRVLY GENEROVS AND NOBLE Knight , Sir IOHN MILLISSENT , one of the Gentlemen Pensioners to the Kings most Excellent Majesty . TO whom should I these sorrowes recōmend , But vnto you , the Citties noble freind : I know , you are much grieued with their Griefe , And would adventure life for their reliefe , To you therefore these lines I dedicate , Wherein their sorrowes partly I relate , I humbly craue acceptance at your hand , And rest Your seruant euer to command , IOHN TAYLOR To the Printer . MY conceite is , that these are very lamētable verses , & will greiue many the reading , they so expresse death to life & make mortality immortal ; I wish that as many as can make vse of such pittifull lines had copies , the rest may want them : Here and there a verse may occasion a teare , then the Author is a true water-Poet indeed , but else where , there wants not an hand-kercheife to dry that teare : So is the whole worke a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and deserues an approbation at least from Io. TAYLOR . OR . COLL. THE PRAEFACE . IN this lamentable Time of generall Calamity , our hainous sinnes prouoking Gods just Indignation , this heauy visitation and mortality ; I being atendant vpon the Queenes Ma rie at Hampton Court and from thence within 2 miles of Oxford with her Barge ( with much greife and remorse ) did see and heare the miserable & cold entertainment of many Londoners , which , for their preseruation fled and retired themselues from the Cittie into the Country . Whence I noted the peoples Charitie , and great amendment , for they had giuen ouer one of the 7 deadly sinnes , which was Coueteusnesse , and in many places were so farre out of loue with a Citizens money , that they abhor'd and hated either to touch or receaue it ; entertaining them with bitter wormewood welcome , ( which Hearbe was in more request amongst many of them , then any of the heauenly Graces or Cardinall Vertues ) yet the hearbe of Grace was in much estimation , although the name of it was a document that they had occasion to Rue the time ; I farther perceiued that they were so farre from beleiuing or crediting any man , that they would or durst not trust their owne noses , but were doubtfull that that sence would conspire with the Plague to murther them , wherefore ( like cunning Mariners , or mole-catchers , ) they would craftily in their streetes and highwaies fetch the winde of any man , although they were ouer shoes and bootes , and sometimes tumbled into a ditch for their labours . This was the time when a man with a nightcap at noone , would haue frighted a whole Parish out of their wits , when to call for Aquauitae ( though it had beene but to make a drench for a sicke horse was enough to haue his house shut up . When Lord haue mercy vpon vs , made many of them tremble more then God Refuse , Renounce , Confound , or Damne . When a man trauailing in the habit of a Cityzen , was a meere bulbegger ; when for a man to say , that he came from Hell would yeeld him better welcome , without money , then a man would giue to his owne father and mother that came from London . In this time of mans great miserie and small mercy , I tooke my pen in hand and wrote this ensueing discourse , I haue ( as neere as I could ) suited it , sadly according to the nature of the subject . And truly , because that the bare and naked trueth was so cleare and ample , that I needed not to stuffe it out with friuolous fables or fantasticall fictions ; with my soule , I thankfully acknowledge Gods great mercy extended towards me ( one of the most wretched and wicked ) in that so many thousands of better life and conuersation haue falne on my right hand and on my left , and round about me ; yet hath his gratious protection beene my guard , for the which in my gratitude to my God , and to auoid the sinne of idlenes , I haue written what those that can may reade . THE FEAREFVLL SVMMER : OR LONDONS CALAMITY . THe Patience and long - suffering of our God , Keepes close his Quiuer , and restraines his Rod , And though our crying Crimes to Heau'n doe cry For vengeance , on accurst Mortality ; Yea though we merit mischiefes manifold , Blest Mercy doth the hand of Iustice hold . But when that Eye that sees all things most cleare , Expects our fruits of Faith , from yeare to yeare , Allowes vs painfull Pastors , who bestow Great care and toyle , to make vs fruitfull grow , And daylie doth in those weake Vessels send The dewe of Heauen , in hope we will amend ; Yet ( at the last ) he doth perceiue and see That we vnfruitfull and most barren be , Which makes his dreadfull Indignation frowne , And ( as accursed fig-trees ) cut vs downe . Thus Mercy ( mock'd ) plucks Iustice on our heads , And grieuous Plagues our Kingdome ouer spreads : Then let vs to our God make quick returning , With true contrition , fasting , and with mourning ; The Word is God , and God hath spoke the Word , If we repent , he will put vp his sword . Hee 's greiu'd in punishing , Hee 's slow to Ire , And HE a sinners death doth not desire . If our Compunction our Amendment show , Our purple sinnes Hee 'l make as white as snow , If we lament , our God is mercifull , Our scarlet crimes hee 'l make as white as wooll , Faire London that did late abound in blisse , And wast our Kingdomes great Metropolis . ` T is thou that art dejected low in state , Disconsolate , and almost desolate , The hand of Heau'n that only did protect thee ) Thou hast prouok'd most justly to correct thee , And for thy pride of Heart and deedes vnjust , He layes thy Pompe and Glory in the dust . Thou that wast late the Queene of Citties nam'd , Throughout the world admir'd , renown'd , and fam'd ; Thou that hadst all things at command and will , To whom all England was a Handmaide still : For rayment , fewell , fish , fowle , beasts , for food , For fruits , for all our Kingdome counted good , Both neere and farre remote , all did agree To bring their best of blessings vnto thee . Thus in conceite , thou seem'dst to rule the Fates , Whilst peace and plenty flourish'd in thy Gates , Could I relieue thy miseries as well As part I can thy woes and sorrowes tell , Then should my Cares be eas'd with thy Reliefe , And all my study , how to end thy griefe . Thou that wer't late rich , both in friends and wealth , Magnificent in state , strong in thy health , As chiefest Mistris of our country priz'd , Now chiefly in the country are despis'd . The name of London now both farre and neare , Strikes all the Townes and Villages with feare , And to be thought a Londoner is worse Then one that breakes a house , or takes a Purse . He that will filch and steale , now is the Time No Iustice dares examine him , his crime Let him but say that he from London came , So full of Feare and Terrour is that name , The Constable his charge will soone forsake , And no man dares his mittimus to make . Thus Citizens , plagu'd for the Citty sins , Poore entertainment in the Country winnes . Some feare the Citty , and flye thence amaine , And those are of the Countrey fear'd againe , Who'gainst thē barre their windowes & their doores , More thē they wold 'gainst Turks , or Iewes , or Moores . I thinke if very Spaniards had come there , Their welcome had beene better , and their cheare . Whilst Hay-cock lodging , with hard slender fare , Welcome like dogs vnto a Church they are . Feare makes them with the Anabaptists joyne , For if an Hostesse doe receiue their coyne , She in a dish of water , or a paile , Will new baptize it , least it something aile . Thus many a Citizen well stor'd with Gold , Is glad to lye vpon his mother molde , His bed the map of his mortality , His curtaines clouds , and Heau'n his Canopie The russet plow-swaine , and the Leathren Hinde , Through feare is growne vnmannerly , vnkinde : And in his house ( to harbour ) hee 'll prefer An Infidell before a Londoner : Milke-maides and Farmers wiues are growne so nice , They thinke 2 Cittizen 2 Cockatrice , And country Dances , are wax'd so coy and briske , They shun him as they 'll shun a Basiliske , For euery one the sight of him would fly All feareing he would kill them with his eye . Ah woefull London I thy greife bewaile , And if my sighs and prayers may but prevaile ; I humbly beg of God that hee 'le be pleas'd In Iesus Christ , his wrath may be appeas'd , With holding his dread Iudgements from aboue And once more , graspe thee in his armes of loue . In Mercy all our wickednes remit For who can give thee thankes within the pit . Strange was the change in lesse then 3 monthes space In joye , in woe , in grace , and in disgrace : A healthfull Aprill , a diseased Iune And dangerous Iulie , brings all out of tune . That citty whose rare obiects pleas'd the eyes With much content and more varieties , She that was late delightfull to the eares With melodye Harmonious , like the Spheares : She that had all things that might please her tast That was by Skies , or Earth , or Seas embrac'd , All odoures , and perfumes to please the sent , And all she felt did giue her touch content , Her Cinque porte sences , richly fed and cloy'd With blessings bountifull , which she enjoy'd . Now 3 monthes change hath fill'd it full with feare As if no Solace euer had beene there . What doe the eyes see there but greiued sights Of sicke , oppressed , and distressed wights : Houses shut vp , some dying , and some dead , Some ( all amazed ) flying and some fled . Streetes thinly man'd with wretches euery day Which haue no power to flee , or meanes to stay , Dead Coarses carried , and recarried still , Whil'st fifty Corpses scarce one graue doth fill . With LORD HAVE MERCIE VPON VS , on the dore Which ( though the words be good ) doth greiue men sore . And o're the dore-postes fix'd a crosse of red Be tokening , that there Death some bloud hath shed . Some with Gods marks or tokens , doe espie Those Marks or Tokens , shew them they must die , Some with their Carbuncles , and sores new burst Are fed with hope they haue escap'd the worst , Thus passeth all the weeke , till Thursdaies Bill , Shewes vs what thousands Death that weeke did kill . That fatall Bill , doth like a razor cut The dead , the liuing in a maze doth put , And he that hath a Christian heart : I know , Is greiu'd , and wounded with the deadly blowe , These are the obiects of the Eye , now heare And marke the mournefull musick of the Eare. There doe the brazen Iron toung'd loud bells ( Deaths clamorous rauisick ) Ring continuall knells , Some lofty in their notes , some sadly towling . Whil'st fatall doggs , make a most dismall howling , Some frantick raueing , some with anguish crying , Some singing , praying , groneing , and some dying , The healthfull grieuing , and the sickly groaning , All in a mournefull diapason moaning . Here , Parents for their Childrens losse Lament There , Childrens greife for parents life that spent . Here , Sister mournes for sister , Kin for Kin As one greife ends , another doth begin , There one lies languishing , with slender fare Small comfort , lesse attendance , and least care , With none but Death and he to tugge together Vntill his corps and soule part each from either , In one house one , or two , or three doth fall , And in another Death plaies sweep-stake all . Thus vniuersall sorrowfull complaining Is all the musicke now in London raigning , Thus is her comfort sad Calamity , And all her Melody is Maladie . These are the obiects of the eyes and eares Most wofull sights , and sounds of greiues and feares . The curious tast that whilome did delight With cost and care to please the Apetite What she was wont to hate , she doth adore And what 's high priz'd , she held despis'd before . The drugs , the drenches , and vnto othsome drinks , Feare giues a sweetnes to all seuerall stinks , And for supposed Antidotes , each Palate Of most contagious weedes will make a Sallate . And any of the simplest Mountebankes May cheat them ( as they will ) of Coine and thankes , With scraped powder of a shoeing horne Which they 'le beleeue is of an Vnicorne . Angelicoes , distastfull roote is gnaw'd And hearbe of Grace most Ruefully is chaw'd . Garlick offendeth neither tast , nor smell , Feare and opinion makes it rellish well Whilst Beazar stone , and mighty Methridate , To all degrees are great in estimate , And Triacles power is wounderously exprest , And Dragon Water in most high request . These 'gainst the Plague are good preseruatiues But the best cordiall is t' amend our liues , Sinn 's the maine cause , and we must first begin To cease our greifes , by ceasing of our sinne . I doe beleeue that God hath giuen in store Good medicines to cure , or ease each sore , But first remoue the cause of the disease , And then ( no doubt but ) the effect will cease . Our sinnes the Cause , remoue our sinnes from hence , And God will soone remoue the Pestilence . Then euery med'cine ( to our consolation ) Shall haue his power , his force , his operation : And till that time , Experiments are not But Paper walls , against a Canon shott . On many a post I see Quack saluers Bills Like Fencers Challenges , to shew their skills : As if they were such masters of defence That they dare combate with the Pestilence ; Meete with the plague in any deadly fray , And bragge to beare the victorie away . But if their patients patiently beleeue them , They 'le cure thē ( without faile ) of what they giue thē ; What though ten thousand by their drenches perish They made them purposely themselues to cherish , Their Art is a meere Artlesse kind of lying To pick their lyueing out of others dying . This sharp inuectiue no way seemes to touch The learn'd Phisitian , whom I honour much , The Paracelsians and Galennists The Philosophicall graue Herbalists , These I admire and reuerence , for in those God doth dame Natures secrets fast inclose , Which they distribute , as occasions serue Health to reserue , and health decai'd conserue . 'T is 'gainst such Rat-catchers I bend my pen Which doe mechanically murther men , Whose promises of cure , ( like lying knaues ) Doth begger men or send them to their graues . Now London for the sence of feeling next , Thou in thy feeling cheifely art perplext : Thy heart feeles sorrow , and thy body anguish Thou in thy feeling feel'st thy force to languish , Thou feel'st much woe , and much calamitie And many millions feele thy misery : Thou feel'st the fearefull Plague , the Flix and Feuer Which many a soule doth from the body feuer . And I beseech God for our Sauiours merit To let thee feele , the Comfort of his Spirit . Last for the solace of the smell , or sent ; Some in contagious roomes are closely pen't , Whereas corrupted Aire they take , and giue Till time ends , or lends liberty to liue . One with a peice of tasseld well tarr'd Rope Doth with that no segay keep himselfe in hope ; Another doth a wispe of wormewood pull And with great Iudgement crams his nostrils full : A third takes of his socks from 's sweating feete , And makes them his perfume alongst the streete . Whilst Billets Bonefire like , and faggots dry Are burnt it'h streetes , the Aire to purifie . Thou great Almighty , giue them time and space , And purifie them with thy heauenly Grace , Make their repentance Incence , whose sweete sauour May mount vnto thy throne , and gaine thy fauour . Thus euery sence , that should the heart delight Are ministers , and organs to affright , The Citizens doe from the City runne , The countries feares , the citizens doe shun : Both feare the Plague , but neither feares one iot Their euill wayes which hath the plague be got , This is the way this sicknes to preuent Feare to offend , more then the punishment . All trades are dead , or almost our of breath But such as liue by sicknes , or by death , The Mercers , Grocers , Silk-men , Goldsmiths , Drapers , Are out of season , like noone burning Tapers , All functions faile almost , through want of buyers And euery art and misterie turne Dyers , The very Watermen giue ouer plying Their rowing trade doth faile , they fall to dying . Some men there are , that rise by others falls Prophetick Augurists in vrinal is , Those are right watermen , and rowe so well They either land their fares in Heau'n or Hell. But this much ( Reader ) you must vnderstand They commonly are paid before they land . Next vnto him th' Apothecarie thriues By Physick bills , and his preseruatiues ; Worme eaten Sextons , mighty gaines doe winne , And nasty Grauemakers , great commings in And Coffin makers , are well paid their rent For many a woefull wooden tenement . The Searchers of each corps good gainers be , The Bearers haue a profitable fee , And last , the Dog-killers great gaine aboundes For Brayning bawling currs , and foysting hounds . These are the graue trades , that doe get and saue Whose grauity brings many to their graue . Thus greiued London , fill'd with mones and grones Is like a Golgotha , of dead mens bones : The field where death his bloudy fray doth fight And kills eight hundred in a day and night . Faire houses , that were late exceeding deere , At fifty or an hundred pounds a yeare , The Landlords are so pittifull of late They 'le let them , at a quarter of the rate . So he that is a mightie moneyed man Let him but thither make what hast he can , Let him disburse his gold and siluer heape And purchase London 't is exceeding cheape . But if he tary but one halfe yeare more I hope 't will be as deere as 't was before . A Country cottage , that but lately went At 4 markes , or at three pounds yearely rent A Citizen , whose meere necessity Doth force him now into the country fly , Is glad to hire 2 Chambers of a Carter And pray and pay with thanks fiue pounds 2 quarter . Then here 's the alteration of this yeare The Cities cheapnes makes the Country deere . Besides another mischeife is , I see A man dares not be sicke although he be : Let him complaine but of the stone or gout The plague hath strooke him , presently they doubt , My selfe hath bin perplexed now and then With the wind Collick , yeares aboue thrice ten , Within the countrey I durst not repeate Although my pangs , & gripes , and paines were great . For to be sick of any kinde of greife Would make a man worse welcome then a theefe , To be drunke sick , which er'st did credit winne Was fear'd infectious , and held worse then sinne . This made me , and many more beside , Their greifes to smother , and their paines to hide , To tell a merry tale with visage glad , When as the Collick almost made me mad . Thus meere dissembling , many practis'd then , And mid'st of paine , seem'd pleasant amongst men , For why , the smallest sigh or grone , or shreike Would make a man his meat and lodging seeke . This was the wretched Londoners hard case Most hardly welcome into any place , Whil'st Countrey people , where soe're they went Would stop their noses to avoid their sent , When as the case did oft most plaine appeare 'T was onely they themselues , that stunke with feare . Nature was dead , ( or from the countrey runne ) A Father durst not entertaine his sonne , The Mother sees her daughter , and doth feare her Commaunds her , on her blessing , not come neere her , Affinity , nor any kind of kinne , Or ancient freindship could true welcome winne , The Children scarcely would their Parents know Or ( if they did ) but slender duty shew : Thus feare made nature , most vnnaturall , Duty vndutifull , or very small , No freindship , or else cold and miserable And generally all vncharitable . Nor London letters litle better sped They would not be receiued ( much lesse be read ) But cast into the fire and burnt with speed As if they had bin Hereticks indeed . And late I saw , vpon a Sabaoth day Some Citizens at Church , prepar'd to pray : But ( as they had bin excommunicate ) The good Church wardens thrust them out the gate . Another countrey vertue I 'le repeat The peoples charity was growne so great That whatsoeuer Londoner did die , In Church or Churchyard should not buried lie , Thus were they scorn'd , despised , banished , Excluded from the Church , aliue , and dead , Aliue , their bodies could no harbour haue , And dead , not be allow'd a Christian Graue : Thus was the countryes kindnesse cold , and small , No house , no Church , no Christian buriall . Oh thou that on the winged windes dost fit And seest our miserie , remedy it , Although we haue deseru'd thy vengeance hott Yet in thy fury ( Lord ) consume vs not . But in thy mercies sheath thy slaying sword Deliuer vs , according to thy word , Shut vp thy Quiuer , stay tay angry tod That all the world may know thou art our God , Oh open wide the gate of thy compassion Assure our soules that thou art our Saluation . Then all our thoughts , and words and workes , wee 'le frame To magnifie thy great and glorious name . The waies of God are intricate , no doubt Vnsearchable , and passe mans finding out , He at his pleasure worketh wonderous things And in his hand doth hold the hearts of kings , And for the loue , which to our King he beares , By sicknes he our sinfull country cleares , That he may be a patrone , and a guide Vnto a people purg'd and purifi'd . This by a president is manifest When famous late Elizabeth deceast , Before our gratious Iames put on the crowne Gods hand did cut superfluous branches downe . Not that they then that were of life bereft Were greater sinners then the number lest , But that the Plague should then the kingdome cleare The good to comfort , and the bad to feare . That as a good king , God did vs assure , So he should haue a Nation purg'd and pure . And now that Royall Iames intombed lyes And that our gratious Charles his roome supplies , As He did for his Father formerly A sinfull nation cleanse and purifie . So God , for him these things to passe doth bring , And mends the subiects for so good a King Vpon whose Throne may peace and plenty rest , And he and his Eternally be blest . AMEN . Against Swearing . THere is no sin that euer the Diuell invented for the abuse of God , and the perdition of man , but the Authors and Actors of it may frame some frivolous or impertinent excuse ; for examples , our first parents in Paradise did disobediently offend , in hope thereby to gaine further knowledge , and to be like God. Cain slew his brother , and had some poore excuse for the fratricide and murther , because he saw that Abell and his offering was in better acceptation . Samson was ouercome by Dalilah , but he had lewd lust , or lustfull loue to entice him ; Dauid had not committed the two crying sins of Adultery and murther , had not the beauty of Bethsheba bin his insuaring object ; Achitophel had not bin a Traitour to the Lord 's Anointed , and a wicked counsellour to Absolom , but the expectation of raising his estate was his motiue . Ahab had not put Nabaoth to death vnjustly , but that hee knew it the neerest way to be possessour of his Vineyard . Achan's theft , Gehazies lie , Manasses cruelty and Idolatry , Peter's denying , & Iudas his betraying of our Sauiour had all some colour of Excuse , but a swearer is worse then all these , for he hath no starring hole , or by way that can make him appeare guiltlesse either before God or men ; Remember this all you that make swearing the glory of your speech , the damnable grounds of your earthly society , the accursed Garbe of your ( misnamed ) Gentleman like carriage ; Remember that God doth heare and see , and can , and will reuenge , and for this inexcusable crime ( especially ) the wrath of the Almighty is showred and powred vpon vs. THou that these lines dost either heare or reade , Consider with thy selfe , and take good heed . Reade them , and let them neuer be forgot , They doe concerne thy soule , then sleight them not . The a Friends of hell beleeue there is a God , And feare and tremble at his angry Rod : They doe confesse his glorious Excellence , And his Almighty powers Omnipotence . But Man his choicest and his chiefest Creature , Is so rebellious against God and Nature , That he gainst Heau'n dare both blaspheme and sweare , And ( worse then Fiends ) they not belieue or feare : So that the Earth doth breed , feed , and retaine Worse Monsters then there doth in Hell remaine . If men beleeu'd the word that God hath spoke , They would beleue that word should nere be broke . In His enacted Law b is one Decree , That all who take his Name in vaine , shall be Accounted guilty , and his fearefull wrath Will hold them worthy of eternall death . Againe 't is said ; Let the c Blasphemor dye , Let him be stoned for his Blasphemy : And euill tongues , who dare to curse adventer , Shall into Heauens d blessednes not enter . And Christ ( when on the Earth he liued heere ) Forbade vs that at e all we should not sweare . And in th' eleventh of Deuteronomy againe , We are commanded not to sweare in vaine . The f Heathen to blaspheme their gods abhorr'd , Yet Christians wilfully blaspheme the Lord. Who euer to reuile the Gods were knowne , In Rome , were from the Rock Tarpetus throwne . Th' Egyptians Law was , he should lose his head . 'Mongst Seythians life and goods were forfeited . These grieuous punishments did Pagans vse Against all them that did their Gods abuse . King Donald's Law in Scotland's not forgot , Who burne them through the lips with irons hot . And when King Edmund here had Regall State , All Swearers he did excommunicate . And Philip King of France ( a Prince renown'd ) Ordain'd that all Blasphemers should be drown'd , The Emperour Max milian did decree , That all vaine Sweaters should beheaded be . The Earle of Flanders , Philip did ordaine , Their losse of life and goods that swore in vaine . Saint Lewis the King of France enacted there , That for the first time any one did sweare , Into Imprisonment one month was cast , And stand within the Pillory at last . But if the second time againe they swore , One with an iron hot their tongues did bore . And who the third time in that fault did flip ; Were likewise boared through the vnder-lip . For the fourth time most grieuous paines belongs , He caus'd to be cut off their lips and tongues . Henry the fift of England , that good King , His Court to such conformity did bring . That euery Duke should sorry shillings pay For euery Oath he swore , without delay . Each Baron twenty , Knights or ' Squires offence Paid ●enn●● and euery Yeoman twenty pence . The Boyes and Pages all were whipt most fine , That durst abuse the Majesty diuine . Thus Pagan Princes with sharp lawes withstood Profauing of their Gods , of stone , or wood . And Christian Kings and Rulers formerly , Haue most seuerely punisht blasphemy . And shall a Heathen , or an Infidell , That knowes no joyes of Heauen , or paines of Hell , More reuerence to his deuillish Idols show , Then we doe to the true God , whom we know ? If we remembred well but what we were , And what we are , we would not dare to sweare . Poore trunks of earth fill'd with vncertain breath , By nature heires to euerlasting death : Most miserable wretches , most ingrate 'Gainst God , that did elect vs , and create , Redeem'd , conseru'd , preseru'd , and sactifi'd , And giues vs hope we shall be glorifi'd . H' hath giuen vs being life , sense , reason , wit , Wealth , and all things his Prouidence thinkes fit : And for requitall , we ( quite voide of grace ) Curse , sweare , and doe blaspheme him to his face . Oh the supernall patience of our God , That beares with Man ( a sin polluted clod ) When halfe such treasons 'gainst an earthly King Would many a Traytor to confusion bring ! Suppose a man should take a Whelp & breed him , And stroake him , & make much of him & feed him , How will that curre loue him beyond all other , Neuer for saking him to serue another . But if he should most disobediently , Into his Masters face or throat to fly , Sure euery man that liues vpon the ground Would say a hanging's fit for such a hound . And worser then so many dogges are they , That 'gainst their God with oathes doe barke and bray , And if repentance doe not mercy win , They 'll hang in Hell like Hell-hounds for that sin . Of all black crimes frō Belzebubs damn'd treasure , This swearing sin no profit yeelds , or pleasure : Nor gaines the swearer here but earths vexation , With change of his saluation for damnation . It is a sinne that yeelds vs no excuse ( For what excuse can be for Gods abuse ? ) And though our other faults by death doe end , Yet Blasphemy doth after death extend , For to the damn'd in Hell this curse is giuen , They for their paines blasphem'd the God of Heauen . Examples on the earth haue many beene , As late in sundry places hath beene seene . At Mautna two braue Russians in their game , Swore and blasphem'd our blessed Sauiours name , Where God iust iudgment ( full of feare & dread ) Causd both their eyes to drop from out their head . In Rome , a child but 5 yeares old that swore , Was snatch vp by the Deuill , and seene no more . And at Ragouse , a Mariner did sweare As if he would Gods name in sunder teare ; When falling ouer-boord , was drown'd and tost , And nothing but his tongue was onely lost . Remember this you sinfull sonnes of men Think how that Christ redeem'd you from Hells den : His mercy he hath giu'n in magnitude , Requite him not with vile ingratitude . He made the Eare and Eye , and heares and sees The swearers execrable oathes and lyes . The God head of the Father they contemne : Against the Sonnes Redemption the blaspheme : The Holy Spirit grieuously they grieue , And head-long into Hell themselues they driue I● is in vaine for mortall men to think , Gods Iustice is a sleepe , although it winke : Or that his arme is shortned in these times , That he cannot reach home to punish crimes . Oh thinke not so , 't is but the Deuills illusion , To draw vs desperately to our confusion . Some say that 't is their anger makes them sweare And oathes are out before they are aware , But being crost with losses , and perplex'd They thinke no harme , but sweare as being vex'd : And some there are that sweare for complement , Make aothes their grace , and speeches ornament , Their sweet Rhetoricall fine eloquence , Their reputations onely excellence . Their valour , whom the Deuill doth inflame T' abuse their Makers and Redeemers name . Thinke but on this you that doe God forget , Your poore excuses cannot pay this debt : Remember that our sinfull soules d●d cost A price too great , to be by swearing lost And blessed was our last good Parliament , Who made an act for swearers punishment , And blest shall be each Magistrates good name , That carefully doe execute the same . Those that are zealous for Gods glory heere , ( No doubt ) in heauen shall haue true glory there , Which that we may haue , humbly I implore Of Him that rules and raignes for ouermore , The Eternall Lord of Lords , and King of Kings , Before whose Throne blest Saints & Angels sings , All power , praise , glory , maiesty , thanksgiuing , Ascribed be to him that 's euer liuing . FINIS . My farewell to the famous Vniuersity of Oxford . I Thanke God , that Ingratitude being the worst of euils , it doth not raigne in me , although it may knock at the doore of my estate , yet ( I trust ) I neuer shall harbour it ; This renowned Seminary and City , allowed me free and generous entertainment for some certaine weekes in these dangerous and contagious times : and although the hand of the Almighty did in some sprinkling and mercifull measure , awaken the security of some in that Citty , yet was , and is his Grace so abundantly extended towards it , that there did not dye in the City and Suburbs being 13 Parishes , aboue 7 of the Pestilence in one weeke all this dangerous yeare ; in which is much to be commended the care and diligence of the Graue and right Worship M r Vicechancellour , with M r Maior , and the rest of his worthy brethren , who neglected or omitted no meanes , that prouidence and Charity could vse for the preseruation of the healthy , and the comfort of the sick ; this I being a witnesse of , in the way of thankfulnesse thought fit to expresse : assuring them in generall , that they shall neuer want the prayers and best wishes of him that wil be euer at their seruice IOHN TAYLOR Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13448-e530 Tasteing . Smelling . Feeling . Notes for div A13448-e6200 a Iames. b Exod. 20. c Leviticus 24. d 1 Cor. 6. 10. e Matth. 5. f God himselfe complaineth that men blaspheme him , Esay 52. 5. The names of blasphemy is writ vpon the 10 heads of Antichrist , Apre . 13.1 . Cursing is forbidden by the Apostle , when he saith Blesse , Isoy , and curse net , Rom. 12. 14. Our Sauiour commandeth vs to blesse them that curle vs , Matth. 5. 44. Blesse them that curse you , and pray for them which hurt you , Luke 6. 28. Accustome not thy mouth to woaring , for in it are many falls , neither take vp for a custome the naming of the holy One , for thou shalt not be vnpunished for such things , Esclesiasticus 23. 9. The Plague shall neuer go forth from the house of the swearer Idem . Whose sweares falsly , calls the God of Truth to witnes a lie . Who so sweares as he thinks may be deceiued . Who so sweares vnreuerently , dishonoureth God. Who so sweares deceitfully , abuseth Christian fidelity . Who so sweares idlely , abuseth the credit of a faithfull oath . Who so sweares accustomably , God will plague him . ●Elfred an english Earle , conspiring to put our K. Adolstanes eyes at Winchester , forsware the treason in Saint Peters Church at Rome and fell downe dead presently . Earle Godwin murthered Prince Alfred brother to king Edward Confessor , and being at dinner , the King charged him with the murther , then Godwin swore by bread , and prayed it might choake him if he were guilty , and immediately it choaked him in the place his lands also sunk into the sea , and are called Godwin-sands . K. Stephen forsware himselfe to King Henry I , and liued in continuall trouble , & dyed in perplexity , of minde Edward brake his oath made at York , that he came not with intent to cease the Kingdome , and b●eaking that oath was punisht with a troublesome raigne , his brethren and children all ( except one murthered and not any of his issue reigned after him Roger Mortimer , a great Peere of th●s land , for breaking his oath to King Edward the 2. was most ignominio●sly hanged bowelld & quartered M. Fox in his Booke of Martyrs declares of one Richard Long of Calice that forsware himselfe to accuse one Smith for eating flesh in Lent , after which oath Long went presently & drowned himselfe . One Grimwood at Hiteham in Suffolks , forsware himselfe and his bowels burst out . One widdow Barnes for the like sin cost herselfe out of her window in Cornhill and brake her necke . Anns Anetis forsware herselfe in Woodstrees for sixe pound of Towe , desiring God she might links down , which fearfully hapned . One Lea in Sunne-alloy without Bishopsgate forswere himselfe , and after ript out his guts . 
A13439	----	Divers crabtree lectures Expressing the severall languages that shrews read to their husbands, either at morning, noone, or night. With a pleasant relation of a shrewes Munday, and shrewes Tuesday, and why they were so called. Also a lecture betweene a pedler and his wife in the canting language. With a new tricke to tame a shrew. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1639 Approx. 119 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 121 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13439 STC 23747 ESTC S113015 99848256 99848256 13338 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13439) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 13338) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1643:05) Divers crabtree lectures Expressing the severall languages that shrews read to their husbands, either at morning, noone, or night. With a pleasant relation of a shrewes Munday, and shrewes Tuesday, and why they were so called. Also a lecture betweene a pedler and his wife in the canting language. With a new tricke to tame a shrew. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [12], 228 p. By I. Okes, for Iohn Sweeting, and are to be sold at his shop in Cornehill, neare Popes-head Ally at the signe of the Crowne, Printed at London : 1639. Dedication signed: Mary Make-peace [i.e., John Taylor]. Woodcut illustration, with caption "Skimmington, and her Husband," on A1v, facing title page. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Scolds -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Skimmington , and her Husband . Divers Crab-tree Lectures . Expressing the severall Languages that shrews read to their Husbands , either at morning , Noone , or Night . With a pleasant Relation of Shrewes Munday , and Shrewes Tuesday , and why they were so called . Also a Lecture betweene a Pedler and his wife in the Canting Language . With a new tricke to tame a Shrew . Printed at London by I. Okes , for Iohn Sweeting , and are to be sold at his shop in Cornehill neare Popes-head Ally at the signe of the Crowne . 1639. Mary Make-peace , of the Mannor of All-well , in Northamptonshire , to all the Sisters of her Female Society , Health , Hearts-ease , and Happinesse . Sweete Sisters , ANd fellow Spinsters , ( for the weakest of us is no worse , and the best no better ) it is the Character under which all our Sexe is comprehended ; I lovingly salute you all hoping you are in as good health of body , and in quiet of minde , as I was at the writing hereof : These are further to let you understand , that it is come to my hearing ; how by the course carriage of some amongst our Sexe ; others , whose modesties are no way guilty of the like misdemeanour , are not privately bated , but ( even in Print ) publickly branded : & by such who consider not , that as there was a Maechael Helena , so there was a Matron-like Hecuba ; and as a loose Lais , so a loyall Lucrese . Nor that we might as well retort upon them , that as there was an Hercules , so there was an Herostratus ; and as a Salemon , so a Sinon . But all this is to little or no purpose : you know my name is Mary Make-peace , and have alwaies studied to make peace betwixt both Sexes : Then , though they raile at us , let not us revile them : for patience must prove our best preservative : For as the Grammer rule learnedly instructeth us : Foemineo generi tri●●untur — propria quae maribus : which is , as I interpret it : Though the Feminine gender bee troublesome , let us seeke to please proper men , least they bring us downe upon our Maribones : which done , we shal prevent all prejudice and divert all disasters . I confesse there is Tabitha Turbulent , of a terrible tongue ; and Franke Froward , who though shee bee given more to pouting than to prating , yet neither of them I hold to be necessary : Betrisse Bould-face doth all things without blushing : And Ellen Ever-heard makes too much noyse amongst her neighbours : And of the like quality and condition are Parnell Prate a pace , and Rachell Raile at him : Vrsula Vpsefreeze is condemned to for her uncivill carriage ; as proov'd to be no better than a pot companion : As for Hannah Hit him home , and Ioaene Iowle him well , they are valued in the ranke of Vixens , and will be loud by no allowance : these hnmours I like not . Marry againe , ( for that 's our womens constant phrase , when we bury our husbands ) There are on the contrary side , Grace grieve him not , a simple and good soule : Kate Kisse-well no cunning , but a conniving creature : Luce Lye-close no wanton , but a willing wench : Dorothy Doe-little not to be caveld at , because so cald : for you know the Proverbe , so said , so done , and little said soone amended : and for Sisly Sweet-lips my sister , and Margery Quiet my Cousen-german : if all the rest were of their simplicity , and modesty , men shonld not have such reason to cavell at us , nor wee such cause to complaine of them . Alas , why should not Ivory teeth bridle intemperate tongues ? and soft lippes conceale fullen hearts ? or why should a faire face bee the betrayer of hidden faults ? of all these things , as a Sister of your society , I thought good to advise you . Given at our Mannor of ALL-VVELL . MARY MAKE-PEACE The Table . OF Shrewes Munday , & shrewes Tuesday , and why they are so called . p. 1 A Lecture of an Apothecaries wife to her husband , who was chosen Seavenger in his parish . p. 10 A Lecture of a Barbers wife to her husband . p. 21. A Lecture of a Serieant , or Catchpoles wife to her husband . p. 26 A Lecture of a Country Sadlers wife to her husband . p. 32 A Lecture of an Horse-coursers wife to her husband . p. 37 A Lecture of a Taylers wife to her husband . p. 47 A Lecture of a Poets wife to her Husband . p. 59 A Lecture of a Farriers wife to her Husband , and a neighbour a Glasiers wife comming to mediate the matter , fall both a railing . p. 66 Item , for the Farriers dyet , which he had alwaies from his wife . p. 36 A Lecture of a Butchers wife to her husband . p. 89 A Lecture of a shooe-makers wife to her husband . p. 96 A Lecture of a Bakers wife to her husband . p. 102 A Lecture of an Inne-keepers wife to her husband . p. 109 A Lecture of a Tobacco mans wife to her husband . A Lecture of a Locke-smiths wife to her husband . p. 128 Skimmingtons Lecture to her Husband , which is the errand sold. p. 132 A Lecture of a discreet and modest wife to her husband , who was an Aldermans Deputy . p. 150 A Lecture of an Informers wife to her husband . p. 162 A Lect. of a Country mans wife , that was a gentlemans Baily . p. 169 A Lecture of a Brokers wife to her Husband . p. 177 A Lecture betwen a pedler and his wife , in the Canting phrase . p. 188 A discourse between two maids concerning their sweet-hearts . p. 196 A new way to tame a shrew . p. 210 A Crab-tree Lecture . Of shrewes Munday , and Shrewes Tuesday , and why they were so called . THey are much mistaken who call these two dayes , in the beginning of the first weeke of Lent , Shrove-Munday and Shrove-Tuesday , for wee have no word either from the old Brittish , Danish , or Saxon Tongue , neither from any other intermixed language significant to that purpose , proper to the dayes , or suiting with the time . But if the Reader desire to bee instructed in the truth from the Originall . Know that the words are mis-written , and mis-sounded , and mistaken , for they should be read and voyc'd Shrewes-Munday , and Shrewes-Tuesday ; and the reason why they ought to bee so , I have beene instructed thus . It is by ancient Custome held to be the only season for Collops and Egges , Fritters , and Pancakes : and as in the City , so both in the Court and Countrey : But the accident following , which I am now to relate , first happened in the Countrey . Of a Farmers Wife . AN honest plaine simple Farmer , on this leading day of the weeke , comming hungry from the Plough , found his Wife busily making Pancakes for him and his family : The good man being at that time more humorous than needed , beganne to be very capcious at every thing , taking unjust exceptions at the coursenesse of the flower , the taste of the Suite , the thicknesse of the Batter , and the like . At which the good woman , though shee smothered it outwardly , yet vexing inwardly to bee so crost and troubled in her businesse , as knowing he was better experienced in the Plough , than the Panne , and to eate Pancakes better than to make them , intreated him to sit downe and be patient , and shee would presently shew him a new tricke for his Learning . The simple Novice desirous of novelty , beganne more calmly to listen to her , and asked her what it was ? who readily answered againe : Sweete Husband you see this Pancake I am now turning : marke it well : now take this platter in your hand , and goe into the yard , bending with your Backe against the doore , looking straight forward , not stirring from where I shall place you , and when it is ready , I will tosse it from the fire out of the toppe of the Chimney , & it shall fall directly into your dish , and bee ready at the watch-word when I shall say Now. The silly man thinking shee had spoke seriously was soone perswaded , and kept his place ( with his face from the doore ) stil● looking upwards towards the toppe of the Chimney when it would first flye out , and after fall : when she having given the watch-word , came suddenly behinde him , & with the pan and all clapt the Pancake upon his head , with a blow which had almost strooke him downe : and to excuse her selfe , said thus ; O Husband , if your blocke head had not beene in the way , the Pan-cake that light upon your pate had falne into the dish : and I fearing what is now falne out , thought to have catcht it in the panne , if you had faild in the platter . At which words the husband rubbing his Browes , well basted with the fat of the Panne , said unto her ; Now a mischiefe take thee for an arrant Shrew : this wil make me think on this Shrewes Munday ( for thy sake ) whilst I live : and from thence , it is thought , the day had its first denomination . And without question upon the like accident done by some curst Shrew or other came the next day following to bee cald Shrewes Tuesday , & so weeping Wednesday , terrible Thursday , frowning Friday , and sullen Saturday , especially when her husband denyes her to goe amongst her Gossips on Sunday . Hence comes it also that if any one hath crost another in a businesse , or done him a bad Office , which mny prove to his dammage or hinderance , the phrase that is still most in custome , is to say , that such , or such a man , did purpose , or hath done me a shrewd turne . And now followes severall Shrewes Lectures to their Husbands , and in their severall professions : First of an Apothecaries wife to her Husband , because he deales in Simples , and hath taken upon him the Office of a Scavenger . A Lecture of an Apothecacaries wife to her Husband , who is chosen a Scavenger in his Parish . NOW Good-man Simpleton , we shall have you grow so proud now you have got an office , that you thinke none is good enough to bee your fellow : I had thought your owne imployment in your profession had beene trouble enough to you , and not to have sought for an Office , and made friends for it likewise : Now I see you are troubled with the Simples , you had not need to goe a simpling every yeare as you doe , God knowes you have so little wit already : I would you would goe the next time & get some Compounds to furnish your seife with , & to concoct your Brains , for you have now but a shallow wit , and are glad to weare a Sattin Cappe to keepe that in too : you had need keepe home , and learn to know something more in your profession , than what is already printed in bookes . When any one of your acquaintance is not well , and desires your advice , then you can prescribe them nothing but a little Stybium ; then when another comes , Stybium ; this is all you can doe , onely a little Stybium . Goe , thou art a stupified Asse , and knowes better how to purge thy Patients money out of his pocket , than to remove any disease from his body : you wil come to them , and aske them how they doe , this is all , and bid them be of comfort , when there is a great deale of danger , and pretend to feele their pulse , when your minde is to filtch their purse . I would there were a meanes how to have your Braines taken out , and braid in a Morter , that they may bee a little better compounded , for as they be , thou wilt never be able to discharge thy brave Office , asse thou calst it , of a Scavenger , for thou canst not cast up any accompt , nor reckon up any summe above twenty shillings ; I hope thou wilt lose by it , and ever after be jeered for thy folly ; you imagine your selfe a brave fellow , doe you not , because you are met by some who knowes you , with a money bagge in the one hand , and a Rowle of the parishioners names in the other : you thinke your selfe not a little graced to bee called to this preferment , because you would be taken notice of in the Parish : and now you have got a great many of Titles by your Office , the better to honour your person withall , and these are some of them , which your memory cannot beare : first you are Duke of the Dung-Cart , then Earle of the Channell , Lord of the Soyle , Vicount Rubbish , Commander of the Sea-coale Ashes , and Master of the Dung-hill , a goodly company are they not : It is no marvaile indeede you must make you a new suite of Apparrell to performe this Office in , and to goe up and downe the street and from doore to doore , to gather your money in , as if you were to beg an Almes ; and goe twice or thrice before you can be paid your due : you had better never had served this base stinking office , and have given so much money out of your purse , because you loose so much time , and likewise is in danger of every raskally knave or promouters complaint to one Justice or other , if a little durt bee left , unlesse you give them a Fee , as you often have done to hold their tongues ; or else you will bee clapped by the heeles a day and a night , and this is all the good you will get by your great Office. Husb. I prethee good wife have patience , it is but a little while longer ; I have served it hitherto with commendations & I hope I shal come off with credit , though it be a little time lost and money spent , I will get it up againe , for that is the first Office that every man must serve , and so by degrees come higher and higher , and at length to be Church-warden , and then let me alone to helpe my selfe , for all my losse of time and expence of money ; I will then beg hard for the poore , but charitie begins at home ; it is but when I receive money from the others that collect it , be a little close fisted , or hold it betweene my fingers with the palme of my hand down-wards , and make as though I had a louse in my necke , and shrug a little of one side , and then of the other , and so thrust it downe into my necke where I have a list of cloath about my waste that it cannot fall downe or drop out : let me alone , I will be cunning enough for them I will warrant you , and though thou count me but a shallow brain'd , & simple fellow , because I am an Apothecarie and use simples ; yet thou shall know I am not such an ideot or foole to loose all and be laughed at too , but I will make some body pay for it ; and so good wife doe not any way disparage me in my profession or judgement any more to any of my patients ; and though some of our owne trade call me at their pleasures and say I looke like an Asse , yet I am not one , let those terme me foolish and simple , if I fall into any of their hands to take Physicke . I thinke those are the greatest simplisians that use Physicke most , and so I hope good wife I have given you satisfaction for this time , desiring you to have patience , in saying little , and doing no more , and in so doing , we shall remaine alwaies friends and lovers . A Lecture of a Barbars wise to her Husband . O Thou base Shaver , who wilt not suffer an haire to grow amisse in another , when thou thy selfe livest out of all order ; thou that pellest and polest the Commons , and boastest that a King must be bare to thee , when thou art forc't to stand , when every Begger sits that commeth under thy fingers : thou thinkest thy selfe a trimme fellow , and canst trim thy selfe every day in the weeke ; when , upon thine owne knowledge , I cannot be trimmed once in a fortnight : nay , and am glad of that too , if I could tell how to come by it : but what can bee expected from such a scrape-scull as thy selfe ; who art no better than a Nitty , nay , a very lousie fellow , who though thou never repentest thy selfe of thine owne sinnes , makest every man that sits in thy Chaire , to put on white Linnen , and doe penance : For thou hast ( I dare sweare in my conscience ) more base-sonnes in private , than Basons hanging at thy doore in publicke : Nay , let the quietest men in the Parish ( I might say the Church-Wardens themselves ) come to bee trimmed at thy shoppe , thou keepst such a bawling in their eares , that ( if the Bell-man be abroad ) the whole streete rings on 't : but when any businesse of import comes , then thou art still out of the way . Where wert thou , you Rogue , when the Queane your Nurse was to bee shaven ? you must bee at Sea ( a poxe take you ) I was glad to play the Barber in your absence , and to use the Razor my selfe , and for my slovenly worke to make the world talke of mee : You must leave a poore bashfull boy at home , and taught him onely to barbe the beard , and correct the haires of the chinne ; but when that worke came to be done , he was as farre to seeke , as thou wert to bee found , and that was farre enough I warrant you : I was glad to use the aide and counsell of two or three of my best Gossips , and when she was shaven , because the cocke was dry , we were forc'd to carrie her to the pumpe and wash her , and there had beene a goodly sight if your rogue-ship had beene there to have seene it ; you went to sea with a goodly haire of your head , & now you are come home againe as bald as a birds-arse , and what excuse have you for this ? when any man taxeth thee of it , thou biddest them everie night looke to the sweeping of thy shop , and there went the haire away , and is this a sufficient answer for thee thou pole-davies ? A Sergeant or Catchpoles wife to her husband . A Sergeant ? I would I had married with a Syrreverance , when I matcht with thee ; what canst thou doe without thy Yeoman , and if hee stand not to thee , ( which is seldome ) what art thou then varlet ? thou art the Blood-hound , and hee is the Beagle , to set , and watch , and follow , and lye lurking in secret corners to catch poore men as they goe about their businesse when they least thinke of it ; and then thou wilt haile them like a dog through the street , if they will not give thee what mony thou wouldst have ; thou dealest in so many of other mens cases abroad , that thou canst say little or nothing to thine own ( thogh it lie never so ope ) at home , a catch pole , a cutpurse , nay a verie caterpillar of the common wealth , teaching bankrupt freemen to sing a counter-tenor in woodstreet and the Poultry , and practisest pricksong in the Suburbs amongst thy Roisters and pole-cats ; I confesse thou art a shoulder clapper , but thou seldome clappestwhere thou shouldest clap , thou pestilent pill-garlicke , you are cald an officer ( with a vengeance ) I pray you what good office have you ever done me , unlesse to keep me above staires , whilest you lodge others in the hole , and that is a curtesie with a curse to you ; thou pratest to mee of the paper house , I had as live thou hadst kist me where I sat on Saturday , for to thee the cheekes with eies , and the blind cheekes are all one , and so thou art all one , and I thinke wilt never bee otherwise ; you will be cald a young man too , you old rogue , but I pray you when shall I see any of your youthfull tricks ? not in hast I warrant you ; you will be sure to take an order for that ; and if I should die to morrow , you know where to have your second wife the next day after : the same Bell that tolls to my buriall , will ring out to you second bridalls : But now I thinke upon it , I le spit in my hand and take better hold , to put your nastie worship out of your conceit , and to set wiseakers your whoores nose besides the cushion : nay it shall goe hard but I will be before hand with you both : thou broughtest home a prisoner to mee last weeke , a young Grocer that had newly set up for himselfe , and left him in charge with me , till thou wentest abroad to talke with his creditors ; I confesse I kept him there close prisoner , and a good guest he was for the time , for hee discharged the whole house , and over and above hee paid mee soundly ; since whose departure I have not beene very well at ease , and for his sake when I am sicke ; let mee have Sinnamon enough , and Ginger enough , and Sugar , Nutmeg , and Cloves enough ; but I shall never more for his sake endure any Mace in my Cawdle A Country Sadlers wise to her husband . VVHen I married with a Sadler , I would I had married with a Sow-gelder , nay in my conscience I thinke I should have had the better match of the two , for so many yeeres I have beene thy wife , and yet this Wiseaker could never find the wit to set the saddle on the right horse : now my pitty on thee thou poore patch-pannell , yet for all thy pitcherie & patcherie thou never thinkest of mending the patch thou shouldest most mind , thou thinkest to curbe me , and snaffle me , to bridle me , and to feede mee with a bit and a knocke , but I wonder when I shall find a good stirre-up come from thee : all thy care is to see other folkes jades made fine , neat , and handsome , whilst thine owne beast at home can neither bee comb'd , rub'd , nor curried , so that for want of good dressing shee is readie to fall into the disease of the scratch , which makes me ready to scorne thee with my heeles ; for thou art never like to come so neer as my heart : It is an old proverbe and a true , who goes worse shod than the Shoomakers wife ; and I may say by experience , who useth the saddle lesse than hee that owes it ; but I could serve thee in thy kind , and shew thee a trick for thy learning , for where thou keepest thy owne saddle-tree bare , I know how , and where to have it covered with plush and velvet , and yet thou neither the wealthier nor the wiser ; this I can doe , and this I will doe , if thou shortly dost not mend thy manners : but thou usest to serve me , as thou dost thy best customers , when thou shouldst stuffe their faddles with good Merchātable haire , thou bobst them off with the coursest hey bought in Smithfield for nine-pence a trusse , but that 's a thing that I doe not stand so much upon neither ; what care I how thou cheatest abroad , so thou wouldst be carefull to give the divell his due at home ; nay bootlesse it is to chafe , or vexe , or fret , or fume , 't is all to no purpose ; nor trouble mee in my tale , till my lecture be read at large , for my tongue shall walke till my breath faile , and after some little pause I shall be ready to begin again ; nor doe I purpose to give over till mine houre be full out ; nay never offer to stop thine eares , but if thou wilt needs bee stopping , stop where thou shouldest stop , for thou shalt never stop my mouth whil'st thine eyes are open . A Lecture of an Horse-coursers wife to her Husband . IT is a Custome amongst all men and their wives , though they never agree so well , yet at some time or other their slow fires will grow into combustion , and as the fuel is added of either side so to grow to a great incendiary ; and so it happened betwixt this couple : An old Horse-courser ( betwixt whom and a knave , there is as little difference , as betwixt him that I named last and a Broker ) married a young wife , ( a pretty modest slut she was ) and had spleene in her , ( as ill women have ) but never shewed it , and like a flint had concealed fire , but till hee with his steele strook too hard upon it , there never appeared any sparkle ; but when the Tinder once takes , you may light a Candle for any merchants Lanthorne , to shew al the street over : and so it fared with these , for he having tempted her beyond all patience , her breast swelling till shee had almost burst her lace , she fell into these Tearmes . An Horse-courser , an hang-dogge , for Hangman is too good a name for thee , who wouldest ride more Gills than thou dost Jades : ( for an honest wife is too good for thee , or any of thy generation ) thou for thy cheating in horses better deservest to bee burnt in Smithfield than any women for poysoning her Husband : but the Devill shall poyson thee before I wil : for none of all your spurre-galling Rascalls shall make an holy day for mee : But I perceive such saddle-nos'd , and saddle-backt Rascals , set them but ( like a begger ) and they care not how they ride to the Devill . Thou goest from Hostry to Hostry , but it will be long enough before thou wilt set up thy Nagge in my Stable , thou wall-ey'd wickednesse : A Rogue of thy yeares and hast not sow'd all thy wild Oates yet ? before I will lead this life with thee longer I wil eate hey with an horse , you base blinkin-soppe : nay more , if every man had his right , and the Devill his due , thou art worthy to bee hanged in the very halter that thou leadest thine horse in . Gladly he would have interrupted her , and beganne to say something to small purpose : but the Jacke was woond up , and downe it must , and therefore not to be meddled with till it was ready to be woond up againe : For she had vowed to Doe out her Doe ; and that she would see done , and therfore pursu'd her discourse in this manner . Doe you beginne to kicke like your gald horse already ? Nay , I thought I should set you beside your stirrops . Thou hast more mystery in thee than a Mountebanke , and more tricks than a Jugler , and passest more lame & poore commodities , broken winded Iades , than either of them with their hy-passe and re-passe . Hast thou not brought an old mare into the Market , ( on my knowledge ) above fifteen , and laid thy hand upon her head , and sworne to thy Chapman she hath beene under five ? ( equivocating , and meaning your five fingers ) and what was this better than cheating ? nay , when thou hast sworne a nagge to be sound of winde and limbe , ( and yet I never knew thee to be so of either ) when thy Customer hath tooke him out to ride him for a triall , and found him to halt downe right , hast thou out-fac't him , that he had no other fault , but that hee tooke him when his feet were asleepe : and what was this better than Conicatching ? Thou art a very cruell hearted fellow , to beate and belabour thy horses every houre in the day with a broome-staffe about their sides , to make your Customers beleeve they are full of mettle , when it is for feare of thy Cudgell they stirre & move about : thou hast such base tricks in thee , that my conscience will not suffer thee any longer to reigne in thy roguery : Nay more , thou keepest thy hackny Whoors : They stand at the bottle , ( of Sacke and Clarret ) but I am tide up to racke and Manger , and none but a Mangy fellow would offer to use his wife so : Nay , I have put Breeze under your Taile , I think I have netled you , my tongue hath but ambled all this while , or at least gone an easie Trot ; but spurre me on a little further , and put it into a false Gallop , and then come upon mee the best of you all , Cut or Long Taile : Thou shalt not sinde that my Tongue will tire within a Mile of the Towne , nor my selfe neither if I were well try'd . But for mine owne part ( as thy Conscience can witnesse ) I am neither well litter'd , nor well provender'd , nor well breath'd , nor well rubb'd , nor well curried , nor indeed well any thing'd . Thou keepe thy market without the railes ? thou ride thy horses in Cuckolds pound ? have I wrung you in the withers ? have I rub'd you on the gald backe ? have I in the stead of an handkerchiefe , given you a drench for your glanders ? Now fye upon thee for a ranke Rider , thou shalt finde in mee from henceforth there shall be more in 't than to get up and ride . A Taylers wife to her husband . MOst sure my father was frantick , and my mother mad , and both of them out of their wits , to match me to such a Mopus : I was in hope they had married me to a man , but they have thrust mee on a Tayler , of which three of the best , can scarce make a good on : he talks of nothing but his yard , and his yard , and is not able to affoord his wife London measure ; whilst thou sittest crosse-legg'd upon thy boord , like a Hare on a poulterers stall , I am faine to lye crossing mine armes in my bed , I wish thou wouldst eate lesse bread , and take more drinke , and then there were some hope that in time thou wouldst learne to winde up thy bottome : when he thinks to doe his best , it is but so so , and he cannot goe thorow stitch with any thing ; I thought I should not have met with so simple a seaming mate , or so purblind a Coxecombe that cannot see in the darke to find the eye of his owne needle which any other could doe blind foulded : if any one see thy backe they may know by thy feet and thy legs that thou art a Taylor , a Hare and a Taylor doth much agree , thou sittest on thy shop-boord crosse-legged , so doth a Hare lie crosse-legged on a poulterers stall ; doe you remember that a Nobleman gave you a cast suite , and you like a proud rascall went and put it on , and marched to the Court to see the mask , and forgetting your selfe , put your hand in your pocket to pull out your handkerchiefe to wipe your face , and then came out with it your thimble , your button-moulds , and your bodkin ; was not this a bold tricke of thee thou lousie nitty Tayler : the proverbe is very true of you , Tayler like , poore , proud , and beggerly , not worth my Grandames groat : you goe like Gentlemen into Knights hou-houses , which are your customers , and then you returne like watchmen , with your bills in your hands ; There is many a Sadler and Body-maker beholding to you , for you furnish them with the finest cloath and taffata to make their saddles and their bodies with , which you steal out of a customers garment , and when you are asked if any cloath or stuffe be left , then you will sweare , and lye , and protest you could hardly make it serve , and that you had not an inch left in the world , no not so much as to lap about your finger ; then they beleeve you , when you have it in your hell , or in your cutting house which devoures more such remnants then ever Wood the great eater of Kent did pennie loaves all his life time : and how many yards of silver lace have you nimed and kept backe by your stretching and pulling of it , to the spoyling of many a good garment ; nor doe you allow me any thing to weare but what you filtch and steale off other folkes garments ; the other day I did but desire to have a new lace to put upon an old peticoat which hath beene twice in Trig-lane , and thou would not buy it me , nor should I have any thing unlesse I would accept of that small remnant , as you cald it of sixe or eight yards of lace , which you cozened our Sextons wife the other of : you pay the rent of the house by this unlawfull meanes , and unlesse you let me have a new gowne , my conscience will not suffer me to conceale this your knaverie , but I will reveale it , and have it put in print to the view of all men : you have now a suite on your backe , the other now is at pawne , and lies in lavender , and though some thinke it to be all alike behind as it is before , but it is not so , for there is nothing but Canvas behinde , and onely butter'd before to make your neighbours beleeve you are a brave fellow . Hus. This it is for me to reveale the secrets of my trade to my wife . Wif. It is no great matter , you are a haire-braind fellow , and a jealous coxecombe : I must not forsooth speake to a Customer , or to one of my Lodgers , but presently your blood is up , and hold up the fist , and looke on me , as the Divell look't over Lincolne , and use mee at your pleasure when they are gone ; but if you continue this course of rough dealing with me , & will not let mee have my will , I will make you asham'd of it : I will say nothing else ; you may imagine : for if men use their wives as they should doe , it is the cause of preserving many a smooth brow , which otherwise would prove rough and rugged , by their unkinde dealing with them : and what you get of mee by your ill words and usage of me , you shall put in you eye , and see ne're the worse . Thou busiest thy self in gathering other mens rents , and if I have but a stich in my side thou knowst not how to take it up : Thou a workeman , thou a very botcher ; and such I shall ever hold thee to be : Besides , an ungratfull fellow thou art ; for though thy Customers pay thee well , yet thou wilt not sticke to sit on their skirts ; and wilt strive to have other mens hose well lin'd , but canst affoord no stuffing to thine owne breeches : and when I looke but under thy Shop-boor'd ; mee thinkes it is a very hell to live with thee , and Purgatory is a very Paradice unto it ; and yet with thy snippery and snappery thou thinkest to go shear away with all . Thou art every day basting and basting , and yet canst affoord me no roast-meate all the weeke long : I am sure thou wilt not allow thy servants their bellies full , but pinch them of their victualls ; and that is one thing that makes so many Taylers to bee Theeves : one Egge must serve two Prentises for their dinner , and thou makest them eate it with the point of their needles , because they should not eate too greedily to choake themselves . Thou hittest me in the teeth , that thou wilt goe to sea and leave me : but I know thou hast not the heart , good-man Hop-kennell : for I know ( upon mine owne knowledge ) that there are no shreds of Man-hood in thee : and as shee was thus taunting him , a Customer came in by chance , who interrupted her , and the Clocke withal strook just eleven ; and so she ended her Lecture . A Poets Wife to her Husband . VVEll , I will be short howsoever sweet ; & as thou tel'st other men of their faults , so I will not sticke to tell thee of thine owne errors . Thou an Artist ? thou an Asse ; a very pen-goose of Pernassus , and thinking thy selfe to be a minion , art no better than a meere mockery to the Muses : For I prethee what hast thou got either by Helicon , or Hipocrene ? scarce good Cloathes to thy backe , whilst thou studiest to uncloake other mens knaveries ; labouring to make thy Lines goe in even feete , and canst not maintaine thy Legges in good Bootes : and if your Loggerhead shall get a Lawrell , what then ? can your Muse feede you with Mutton ? or can you buy your selfe Beefe with the leaves of a Bay-Tree ? can your Rime make you feede on Rabbets ? your Canzonets on Capons ? or your Poetry on Partridge ? I must confesse on Wood-cockes they may , if you could finde a spring to catch them . You get nothing now a dayes but by flattery and dissembling , onely Wine and Tobacco , by keeping some young Novice company in humouring him , by telling some strange stories , and idle fables , and then at night come home drunke that you are not able to stand , with such a red face , that if your eyes were Matches , they would set your nose on fire : thou a Poet ? thou a Pot-head : your invention is never ripe , but when you have beene a potting and a piping , and then you have but a flash ; for you have not a braine to keepe your conceite ; it is dead as soone as it is thought upon : thy Poetry hath made mee almost mad . I pray you what hath your pen purchast ? or your Goose-quill got you ? or to what preferment hath it raised you ? unlesse to be the Printers Packe-horse , the Stationers Iourny-man , and the Players Drudge : I the Players , who have the wit to keepe you poore , that they themselves may pranke it in Plush : For who in these dayes can know a Poets wife from a Pedlers , or such Iacks from Gentlemen ? who like Hogges feede upon Akhornes , and never cast up their eies to looke towards the Boughes from whence they fall . I have found it by observation , and so have others , that the first stoppe to beggerie , is to write to the Stage . I speake not of all , but of you poore Poets , who have made them your Idols , who ought rather to have falne downe and worship't you , who have put Oracles into their mouthes , who would eate the bread out of yours . Nay , do not vexe to bee Catechised in that , of which I have heard thee so oft ( and not without just cause ) complaine : Further shee was proceeding , when one of her Neighbours called upon her to goe along with her to the Christning of a Neighbours Child ; so that shee was for that time forced to breake off on the suddaine : At which her Husband was glad to bee ridde of her clamour ; and I not forry , for in her ending so suddainely , shee hath saved mee some labour . A Lecture of a Farriers Wife to her Husband , and a Glasiers Wife , comming to mediate the matter betwixt them . A Farrier having angred his wife in crossing her untoward humour , she fell foule upon him by no allowance , and beganne with him as followeth . Thou an Horseleich ? thou an Hobby-horse , and hast more diseases upon thee than any Iade that comes to be drencht at thy Forge : for thou hast the Webbe in thy eyes , the Glanders in thy nose , the Staggers in thy head , and the Botts in thy belly : thou art troubled moreover with the rotten Couch in thy Longs , the Spring-halt in thy hippes , the Spary in thy legges , the Scratches in thy heels , and indeede art nothing but rottennesse , and diseases all over ; and what comfort hath a likely woman , as I am , to lye with one all the night grunting like an Hogge , groaning like an Horse , coughing like a sheepe , and spitting and spawling like one that is sweated on the Poxe ( God blesse us : ) then thou criest out , O the Gout in my Toes , O the Sciatica in my Thighes ; insomuch , that Bedlam is a better place to sleepe in , than our Bed : she was now but in her Prologue , when in comes their next neighbour , being a Glasiers wife , who had over-heard all that had past , and perswaded her to be patient , saying . Nay good Neighbour , I am very sorry to see you in this passion , I see something hath disquieted you , I pray you forbeare and be a little moderate in your language to your Husband , it doth not become a women to be thus brawling in the open streete , and disgracing of her Husband , it will be a meanes for him never to have a care of you , but rather to neglect his calling : you had better perswade him by faire meanes ; and not thus by foule ; for men are men , and they will not be contrould , and especially in the open shop , where all passengers to see you , and take notice of it : tell him of his faults betweene your selves when you are abed together , then hee will give you the better hearing , and feeling in the cause , which this way will ne're doe , but make him more in a rage , and e'ne carelesse of his businesse ; and shee said , that her husband was an honest quiet man , and well thought of by all his neighbours , and shee did not well to use him in such unreverend tearmes : and was proceeding further , where the Farriers wife quickly & sharply cut her off , after this manner , unreverently . Far. Wife . Marry Syrreverence , goodly Gossip : I pray you Mistris Gill Flurts how came you by that goodly word ? with my finger in your mouth , and a toy at the end of it : Doe you come from an Ale-house bench , from amongst the rest of your talking Gossips to tell me what I have to doe ; get you home , and counsaile your owne husband , and meddle not with mine : you have beene too late in his company , have you not ? that is it which makes you take his part : goe , you are a sawcy Gossip , and a Gill-flurt , I know what I have to doe with mine owne Husband , I will not now come to learne of you : I hope the carriage of my selfe is well knowne both in the City and in the Parish , how I have behaved my selfe : goe out of my doores , you are a base prating Gossip . Glas. Wife . Gossip in your face ; I am none of your Gossip , though I am one of your neighbours ; yet I doe scorne to be counted your companion : an honest woman should shew her selfe to be so , and not to revile their Husbands in such vile speeches , enough to make a man run quite mad . A womans rule should be in such a fashion , Onely to guide her household , and her passion . And her obedience never out of season , So long as either Husband lasts , or reason . Ill fares the haplesse family that showes A Cocke that 's silent , and a Hen that crowes . I know not which live more unnaturall lives , Obedient Husbands , or commanding Wives . Far. Wif. How now , doe you come with your Ballad Rime to tell mee what I have to doe , and how to behave my selfe to my husband , and in my owne house ? get you home & wash your dishes , and meddle with your owne Husband : I would scorne to have done as you did , when you went to have your other Husband buried , you went with an Onion in your Handkerchiefe , to make your eyes look redde , and to cause you to weepe , as if you had been very sorry for his losse ; when indeed you did but counterfeit , and make the world beleeve how you lov'd him , because you would have another husband the sooner , and when you had seen him laid in his grave , then when you came home , you could have your Sacke and Sugar , with other good cheare , faying , come , wee women must live by the quicke , and not by the dead . Glas. Wife . Come , come , you may be ashamed to doe as you doe ; I would scorne to make my Husband stand in awe of mee , as a childe doth of a rod , that if perchance hee bee three or foure houres abroad a drinking in company , and come home a little disguised , then you fall about his eares , and raile at him , that it is a shame you should be endured ; and if he were not a very patient man hee would not abide the life that he doth at your hands , but swaddle your sides ; poore man he is glad to hide himselfe many times in the house of Office , till your rage bee over ; and one time , to ease his stomacke , he was glad to put his head in the hole , because you should not heare him ease his stomacke , and then could not get his head out againe , but brought the seat about his necke , like a ruffe band . Come , this is not the part of a good wife to discover her husbands follyes in such a publicke manner as you doe : it rather hardens their hearts , and makes them a great deale the worse Husbands , and causes them never to have a minde to returne home , when once they are abroad , or have staid a little too long : this makes them ill Husbands if any thing doth . Therfore whether it be better or worse , You must be rul'd by him that beares the purse . Far. Wife . You are still up with your Rime ; get you home , and teach your Grandam to sucke Egges ; I will not bee taught by you , Gossip Pinte-pot : begone I say , or I will wash your face , now your tongue is so hot . Who taught you , I wonder , to meddle betwixt the barke and the tree ? the skinne and the flesh , the man and the wife ? When the other replyed , now Flirt in thy face , and Gossip in thy guts : I hold my selfe as good a woman as thy selfe at all times , and as honest as the skinne betwixt thy browes , if not honester . Honester , Madam Malipert ( said the other ) and whence Mistris Odious came you by these comparisons ? Hast thou took the Glasier , thy Husbands trade out of his hand , and art come hither to picke Quarrels ? shee replyed againe : now Odious in thy throate , and there let it lie till I take it out againe . Thou calst me Madam Malipert , but I am sure thou art Pru prate a pace , and so thou wert ever since I first knew thee : and where thou twitst mee with my Husbands Trade : I cannot but with Paine speake it , a Glasier is as good a man as a Farrier ( no dispraise to thine husband ) every moneth in the year , every weeke in the month , every day in the weeke , and every houre in the day : and with that she beganne to bee out of breath , which gave the Smithes wife liberty to say . Well I ever took thee to be a bold Bettris : and I thee for a sconlding Queane , saith the other , as well as she could bring it out : and so from words they fell to blowes ; insomuch , that the honest Farrier was glad to step betwixt them , thinking to part them : by which occasion his wife seeing shee could not come at the other to have her wil , she falls about her Husbands eares , and he againe at her , and hard it was to judge betwixt them who was likely to have the better : In which Interim the Glasiers wife ranne to call the Constable , and brought him , desiring him , least there should be man-slaughter , or woman-slaughter committed , to command them to keepe the Kings Peace , and to part them : but he , out of his great wisedome , made answer : no not I by any meanes , nor any one for mee : Cursed be he that parts man and wife : and therefore let them fight on and spare not : so that what the Constable would not doe wearinesse did : but how the businesse was after reconcield , when I understand more , you shall heare further . The poore Farrier lived this life seven yeares together ; and to please her oftentimes hee was forced to lose many a heate at the Anvill to to come at her call to kisse and humour her : and still being used to this kinde of language , it bred in him that custome that he could well endure it : sometimes , onely to ease himselfe , & his minde , complaining to some of his friends over a cup of Beere , telling them , how in stead of Lord and Master , she called him Rogue and Rafcall , and was ne're at quiet with her at bed or board ; only when she was abroad or asleepe : and for staying now a little longer than I promised her , said he , I dare warrant you , my good neighbour , when I come home I shall have a dish of maundring Broath , thickned with a few small Reasons , kept hot upon a chafingdish and coales , so that when I come in , I shall bee constrained to sup it up scoulding hot . Neighb . In good troth neighbour you have your hands full : and I will give you the best counsaile I can : you must have patience , and endure it ; for if you should take any violent course against her , she then would make your head full , as you have now your hands full . For now , as you confesse , you being forewarned of her doings , therefore ought to be fore armed . The Farriers Dyet which he used to expect from his Wife when he used to come home late . TWelve sorts of Cates my wife provides , And bates me not a dish , Foure Flesh , foure Fruite , The other foure of Fish. For the first course , shee serves me in , Foure birds that dainty are ; The first a Quale , the next a Rale , A Bitterne , and a Iarre . My appetite being cloid with these , With fish she makes it sharp , She serves me next a Pout , Ill-pies , A Gudgeon , and a Carpe . The third course with fruit she served in , Welfitted for the season , I am sure a Medler , Hartichoake , A Crab and a small reason . What Smith is he hath such a wife , And on her doth not doate , Hath every day delicious fare , And costs him not a groat . Vpon my word and credit my good neighbour , & an honest farrier as thou art , I had rather bee at some three-peny Ordinary , than at this feast of variety : and amongst all this choise of Cheere , I doe marvaile you had no Souse , nor Lambe , nor Lout , nor Goose , nor Woodcocke , bitter Almonds , nor choake Peares . Therefore to say no more ; as a sicke man is cured of his disease in time by vertue of a medicine , so a patient man is remedied of his tormentor in time by death of his wife . A Butchers Wife to her Husband . AN honest Butcher gently admonishing his Wife , that shee neglected the looking to her Shop , and every day went to a Lecture , by which hee was much hindred , and ( for ought he could see ) she little profited : the woman impatient to bee so taken up before she was downe , made him answer as followeth : Lectures forsooth ; and I pray you doe my Lectures trouble you ? if they have not done yet , they shall more hereafter : here 's a coyle with a greasie companion indeede , with whom any wise woman ( but such a foole as I ) would be loath to father fingers : here is a stirre with Lectures ? most sure I am , I can be no sooner in the Church , but you will be in the Devills Chappell . What neede I looke to thy slaughter-house , when I goe everyday where I see finne knockt downe like an Oxe , and the throat of iniquity cut like a Calfe ; whilst thou , and thy Iourny-men stay at home , and lie on thy shop-boord like so many stinking livers . You are a wicked Creature , you cousen your Customers by your false weights , and blow up your meate to make it looke faire , and doe not kill it according to the Statute ; and for mee to be an eye-witnesse my conscience will not suffer mee : therefore leave questioning of mee where I have beene ; but thou wilt never leave prating till thy head be furnisht as well as thine Hydes , there is a bone for you to picke : But it will bee long enough before thou wilt tickle my hyde , I warrant thee : at which last words the Butcher being somewhat gored , hee answered betwixt jest and earnest , and said ; I know not wife what you meane by the harnising of my head , but of one thing I am sure , when I in the Spring ride abroad to buy ware , you can furnish your selfe in Lent with pricks to serve you all the yeare after : at which she bit her lippe , not her tongue , for that she kept still in motion , and replied : well , goodmangander-goose , some of my Gossips shall Catechise you for this , and He make your best Joynts pay for 't ; wee 'le neither spare Necke , Shoulder , Breast , Legge , nor Loyne ; there are no stakes to bee sav'd by us , take my word for that : nay you great Calfe ; your Sheepes eye shall vexe to see 't , and wee 'le make you be glad to lick your lippes after our Lambs-wooll : wee 'le teach you to be so hoggish to an Heiser of the first horne , you Cowbooby , to hit me in the teeth with making of Prickes ? hit me with them where I should be hit , you foule Oxe : But I see they talke most of Robbin-Hood , that seldomest shoote in his Bow : But for that trick alone ( though it goe against my stomacke ) I le marre that which comes next to my making , and thou shalt have the mends in thine owne hand , like a Grout-headed booby as thou art : and so shee slung away in a heate and left him : and hee all the while sought about for his Knife , thinking to have done her a mischiefe , but it was in his mouth , and hee could not finde it . A Shoo-makers wife to her husband . A Shooe-maker one of the Gentle Craft happpened to have a Shrew to his wife : but that is Hoc commune malum , and who can helpe it : ( saith Gammer Morris ) and no man can tell where his shooe wrings him , but hee that weares it : now this woman would wrangle and weep , scould and crye , and yet be as bitter as the best of them : for her humour was to put finger in the eye , and say , wel Husband , well : who answered her againe : I wife , so I have heard many a woman beginne well , that have ended ill : There was string enough for her to harpe on , who proceeding , said ; I , I , it is my end that thou lookest for , and dost wish an ill end to come to mee , but I am not gone yet ; it is now but Al-hollow tide , and I hope to eate some Christmas Pye with thee : looke then to thine owne taching ends , for 't is not thy hogges Brisles that can fright me to my grave for all this ; no nor for thy All that thou canst doe . A woman had as good to have an husband of Clouts . I would I had married with a Cobler , he would have beene still on the mending hand , but thou art every day worse and worse : but it is as little boote for me to tell thee of it , as for thee to shooe the goose ; But it is the custome of all thy trade , to use your poore soules thus : and there 's a neighbour of thine at the next doore , there is neither barrell of you better herring : you take no more pitty to see a woman weepe , than to see a Goose goe barefoot : but for mine owne part , though thou keepest mee in my Corkes , I doe not meane so soon to turne up my heeles , nor to bee so quickly underlaid : Thou shalt not finde that Atropos sheares and thy cutting knife are all one : Most sure I am , thou wouldst take more pleasure to cut my throat , than thine owne thread : when I matcht with thee , I might have married with one , whom thou art no more like than an Apple is like to an Oyster ; he was a proper man indeede : But I see the properer man the worse luck , and so I finde it to my cost : for he had a cleane Legge , and a handsome Foote ; but thou hast neither , a very shamble-shinne , and hast a foote of the slovings Last : But I hope that will not last alwayes , which if I thought , there is scarce any way that I would find to tread in , unlesse the gate that leades to thy grave . Thou canst vaumpe old Bootes , but when wilt thou vaumpe mee , and make me new and fresh againe ? nay , thou hast thy tricks and turne-overs , but I hope thou shalt not turne-over me in haste : nay , thou art none of the Hastings , but slow enough , where thou shouldest be sure : thou hast an high minde , and an high Insteppe , and still art in an ambition to waxe and waxe higher and greater ; but I shall never finde it whilst I have an hole in my skin , thou leathern'd skinne Rascall . More she would have said , but shee wept out the rest , and so went away and left him . A Bakers Wife to her husband . THou as honest a man as lives by bread ? thou as arrant a thiefe as steales in a Barne ; thou art no better than a knave in graine ; indeede thou art as course as thy Bran , and I the flower of thy garden ; and what am I the more minded for all this , thou hutch backt fellow ? who for thy unkindnesse to me , deservedst to bee duckt in St. Clements Well . The honest man desired her to be patient , and to hold her peace , lest shee should make too loud a noyse , and so trouble the neighbours : she presently made him answer : what dost thou thinke I will bee meale-mouth'd as thou art ? and hast ever beene since I first knew thee : no , I le see thee first weighed in thine owne scales , and so thou shalt goe to the Devill for measure ; for like thy bread , thou wilt be found many grains too light . When thou art told of thy base cheating and false weights , then thou lookest like an Image made of Rye-Dow ; me-thinkes the slave lookes as if he were dow-bak't , and as pale as the ashes which his Malkin sweepes out of his Oven , where the good wife would never have sought her daughter , but that shee had beene there before her selfe : But thou hast a desire to proclaime thine owne destiny , and soundest an Horne ever before thou art ready to set in : but thou art not of every mans minde ( and I commend thee for it ) for there is many a one that weares an horne , and is loath to blow it . You weare a cappe and long haire , and you tell folkes that askes you why you weare your haire so long , it is because the mould of your head was not well closed at first by the midwife ; when indeede it is , that none should perceive that you have lost your eares in the Pillary , for cousening , and making light bread . And now good-man Baker what canst thou bolt out of me for all this ? My greatest comfort is , that there is no great feare of thy interfearing ; for thy crooked knees meete so close , and thy skew legges are so distant one from another , that it is unpossible that thou shouldest ever gall thine Ankles , and yet thou oftner reachest them than thou rubbest my Shinnes : and if I should now offer to play at In and In , wee should the next day see you upon the Pillery looke out . But thou thinkest to keepe me like a Mouse in thy Binne , but if thou hopest for any such thing , thou wilt finde thy Cake to be but Dowe ; for howsoever thou makest the Paste , leave me alone to take order to lay the Leven , and to make the Proverbe good ; Who eateth worse Bread than the Baker ? What doth this gravell you ? But why do I trouble my selfe to an unsifted , and therefore an unsanctified man : Alas , my anger lasteth no longer than one of his Bakers Bakings ; and therefore for the present I le give over . I am afraid I have beene somewhat too tedious in the former , and therefore I will strive to be more briefer in the following ; and therefore to contract a long circumstance into a lesse compasse , more succinct and compendious receive them thus : and I thus pursue my discourse . A Lecture of an Inne-keepers Wife to her Husband : with a Tale of an Inne-keeper and his wife . VVHy husband , are you not ashamed to be so idle and sit in that manner , with your hands in your bosome , and the house full of guesse , it being terme time , you may be asham'd of it , if you had any honesty in you , but you have none ; you keep a company of cheating base knaves about you , to cousen your guesse : the Tapster for nicking and frothing his Jugges , and his Cans ; your Chamberlaine for over-reaching your guesse in their reckonings ; your lazy Ostler for having a hole in the Manger , that when horses have their Oates they fall through into a convenient place ; and keeping of false measures ; and you your selfe knowes of all this , and yet winke at it , saying , come , all trades must live ; and so there is nothing but cousening of all sides . Husb. Wife you are very hot , I doe thinke you want an Hostler to walke you ; you have bin a Gossiping , and have taken a Cup too much , which makes you talke thus ; doe you meane to undoe me , and your selfe too : if you continue on this course of railing , what will your guesse thinke ? wee shall by this meanes lose all our Customers , and make mee worke in the end . Wife . Let it worke , and worke againe , like Ginger in a Sowes Arse , I care not , I have enough for one ; shift that shift can , I will not be questioned , and hit in the teeth with my Gossips , and the wine I have dranke at any time . The Inne-keepers Song . He that marries a scold , a Scold , Hee hath most cause to bee merry ; For when she 's in her fits , He may cherish his wits With a cup of old Canary . Now followes the Tale. A lusty Inne-keepers Wife , and an handsome Hostesse , ready to give her guests welcome at all seasons : at the time of taking in of Hey , having a young able fellow to his Ostler , the good man of the Inne could not keepe his wife out of the Hey-loft : at which hee growing somewhat jealous , ( and not altogether without cause ) demanded of her the reason why she was more of late delighted in the treading of the Hey than before shee had ; and withall what shee did make there ? for the Hey was troden already : who laying aside her wonted scoulding for the present , and made him this smiling answer : What an ignorant Coxe-combe Husband , are you growne of late ? What I pray you should a young man , and a young woman doe , when they are together in an Hey-loft ? Which doubtfull answer put him into a worse quandary , than if she had entred directly with him into a quarrell . Of a Tobacco mans wife to her Husband . A Tobacco woman was wont to borrow from her neighbour the Apothecary , the name of Glister Pipe , and tell him he tooke his Tobacco the wrong way , for he should rather take it at his taile than at his mouth , for it was the best medicine for the Wind-cholick , and compar'd him to a smoky fellow , and the next degree to a Chimney-sweeper ' and complained of him that though shee all the day long kept her selfe sweete and cleane , yet hee came home every night with a foule and stinking Pipe : which he not able , or at least not willing to endure , cald her durty flut , and said shee neither knew her manners nor duty ; to which she replyed , no manners with a mischiefe , and duty in the Devills name ; you Owley-Glasse , before next Iune , I le teach you to light your Tobacco with nothing but Iuniper . And had not a Customer then come in , shee had beene more large in her Lecture . A Pewterers wife and a Poulterers wife , prating of their Husbands over a Pint of Wine . TWo Gossiping women the one wife to a Pewterer , the other a Poulterer , meeting in the market beganne to renew old acquaintance , & after many an how do you ? they agreed to joyne their halfe pints a peece and to goe over to the next Taverne , where being set in a private roome , and calling for a pint of Muskadell and a rowle , the one began as followeth , and I pray you sister ( for so we cald , when we were maid-servants in an house together ) how doth your good man and you agree ? For mine own part , I was not at the first so mad to bee married , as I find now leasure to repent it : in troth replyd the other , and I find my case and yours to be much about one , good husbands are thicke fowne , but they come up but thinne , and there is show of a great harvest when there is but little corn , and that I have found to my cost ; for ( said the Pewterers wife if I were to marry againe twenty times over , I would never have an hammerman whilst I liv'd , nor I ( said the other ) a Poulterer , hee is one of the most slovinglist fellowes , and deales so much in fowle , that I can make him keep nothing clean about him , nay when he should come to bed to me , me thinks hee smells like his stale poultry , and what woman of fashion ( for you know sister I was a choice peece when you knew me first ) is able to endure it , there she paused , and then the other began , and said , and you know I might have had matches , and good ones too , before I met with this Dromedary to live in a Pewterers house , where there is such rapping and knocking early and late , one had better dwell in Crooked-lane or amongst the Brasiers in Loath-bery ; nay it loathes my very stomack to think on it , and the rather when I find by proofe , that these who deale altogether in mettall , have no mettall at all in them ; for he hath beene this two yeeres and upward , to beate out a boy , or hammer out a girle and cannot : troth my poultry ware is even cookt with the same sauce ( saith the other : ) but I pray you what words of Art have you for him when he angers you : who answered , because hee is somewhat purblind , sometimes I call him Owle , and Booby , and now and then saucer-ey'd slave and platter-fac'd rascall , aske him if the great baby meanes still to bee fed with spoone meat , and the like , nay I never greatly studdy for his words , I cut his livery out of the next cloath that comes to hand : and I ( saith the Poulterers wife ) follow the same course to an heire , there goes but a bare paire of sheeres betwixt them : to give him his stile , I need goe no further then his stall ; for if he vexe me , I call him Goose , and Widging , and Dotrell , and Woodcock , ( no other then he brings with him ) nay if he moves me much ( as that which angereth him most ) I call him Capon ; but said the other , never Cocke of the game I warrant you ; to which was replyd , no I will see him in the pit first , which word may carry a double meaning : at which the drawer came in and asked them what do you lack ? when both spake at once and said , either of us a good husband : the drawer made answer , if you have not good husbands , I would you had such as you like good Gentlewomen ; God a mercy honest drawer , for that word I will drinke to thee , and thou shalt pledge me in a fresh cup of wine , come draw another pint of the same Sack as you did before ; nay said the Pewterers wife , let us not out-runne the Constable , for I protest I have not above three pence in my purse : it is no matter said the Poulterers wife , hang money it is not that I stand upon , the next customer that comes shall pay for this pint : I sister , said the Pewterers wife you have money at will , but I can get none , unlesse I save it when I goe to market , or at such times when my husband is foxed , that I borrow a shilling or two out of his pocket that he doth not once thinke of , for by my troth , hee will not give me a penny extra ordinarie to drinke a pint of wine with a friend , nor have I any way to get any money but what I have told you , nor doe I stirre out of doores from one weeks end to the other , unlesse to market and so backe againe : introth said the Poulterers wife I will not be mewed up like a hawke , for I will both have money at my command , and goe abroad when I please , and never give an account where I have beene ; I marry said the Pewterers wife you spend the week merrily : I must confesse I do , said the Poulterers wife , did you never heere the merry saying of good old women ; and how they spend the week about : no indeed said the Pewterers wife ; then I will tell you , said the Poulterers wife how ; thus you must spend the weeke , and every day in the week . You know that Munday is Sundayes brother . Tuesday is such another . Wednsday you must go to Church and pray . Thursday is half holi-day . On Friday it is too late to begin to spin . Then Saturday is halfe holi-day agen . Well said sister , I commend thee for thy wit , heere 's to thee one cup of Sacke the more for this merry saying : I come good sister , & drink it off , it will make you have a light hart & a merry countenance , & kind hearted to your husband : and so they cald for a reckoning , paid , and for that time parted . A Lock-smiths wife to her husband . A Lock-smith a sturdie blunt fellow , and yet one that had not the trick to tame a shrew , and yet was as jealous over her as any could bee ( over his wife ) that was tied to weare none but yellow stockings ; and shee one way as perverse as hee the other peevish , would ordinarily call him Vulcan , Cyclops and the like , perswading him he halted though hee did not , nay would not spare then to abuse him when hee was most busie at the Forge , and tell him he was as teastie as his Tongs , headed like his hammer , his cheekes blowne up like his bellowes , and if hee toucht her , that his fingers pincht like his pinsers ; nay that there was but one degree remoov'd , ( that was the Collier , ) betwixt him and the Divell : which he with great impatience enduring , lest scoulding and began to schoole her as followeth : wife 't is not your tongue but your taile that I feare ; women ought to keepe an hatch before the doore , to have their brests bard , their hearts lock't , and every suspicious place bolted ; who had not the patience to heare him any further , but interrupted him and said , and what of all this goodman snickup , that cannot set the doore upon the right hinges ; here is a coyle with your barres , your bolts , and your locks , I know none of all these locks thou speakest of , but every Tapster and Ostler , hath as good a key , as the best Smith of you all to open . The Smiths advice to his neighbours . Hee that hath a good wife , make much on her , Carry her to the Alehouse and bestow nothing on her , If she hath any money take it all from her , And if she hath none , fling her upon the fire and burne her . Skimmingtons Lecture to her husband which is the errand scold . VVHat not a word this morning , are you all alike , drunke and sober , cannot you speake , or have you lost your tongue , you may be ashamed , had you any grace in you at all , to bee such a common drunkard , a pisse-pot , a beast , nay worse then a beast , for they can tell when they have sufficient , but thou canst not tell ; every day foxed & at night brought home by a watchman ; and the next morning you are then a little crop-sick , and then to cure your squeezy stomacke , you get a haire with the same dog , you know what I meane you drunken sot , a cup of the same wine burnt or muld that you dranke raw over night , this you call Physicke and say it is good and wholsome once a month , and this is your course of life , from one weeks end to the other . As I am a sinner I am ashamed of thee thou art such a noted Taverne hunter ; and such a nasty beast thou makest thy selfe , that I even loath thee every time I see thee in that pickle ; fie upon thee I could spit upon thee if it were not for shame , and speech of people ; by this fire that burnes I will make thee ashamed and declare thy base actions and course of life to all companies wheresoever ; I come or goe : thou art bewitched to the Taverne , and to such base company that have no regard or care of their wives and family at home . Husb. Good wife forbeare your violent and raging speeches , I confesse I am in a fault , but it shall be so no more ; I am sorry for it , I will take a new course with my selfe and forsake all ill company , and forsweare drinking any wine , if you will be but patient for this time I will amend all ; I pray speake no more at this time good wife . Wife . I scorne to bee a good wife to such a perpetuall drunkard , that is drunke ordinarily twice a a day , and never comes home , unlesse it bee to sleepe , and then out againe , and bee drunke within two or three houres after , as bad as you were before : I would you had but a looking-glasse to see how you looke now you have been a foxing ; or that you would remember what anticke and apish tricks you play , when you are in this case : you are never kinde to mee , but when you are fudled , and then you can cogge and dissemble with me , to have your owne will or what you want : when your head akes the next morning , or a fart wring you by the breeceh , then pray hold my head deare wife : then you are sicke , and must have a Posset made you ; but instead of a Posset , I will provide you a Crab-tree Cudgell ; and if that will not doe any good of you , I then will have a Rope and Butter , that if one slippe , the other may hold ; it is an ease matter for to Lam-baste your drunken hide when you cannot stand ; then I will domineere over you ; for I see there is no other way , but by force to make you leave this veine of drinking drunke ; therefore I will have no longer patience , nor talke much to spend my spirits : But I will doe more : Come sirrah , tell me first in what company you were in yesterday , from nine of the Clocke in the morning , till twelve at night . Then secondly , tell mee what Taverne you were at . Then thirdly what Wine you dranke . Then lastly , what it cost you all the day in expences ; and what you had to eate , for it is impossible you could be all that while at a Taverne , and eate nothing . Hush . Nay by my troth wife , I cannot call to minde all these several circumstances : some I can give you account of ; some I cannot , nor will not . VVife . You cannot , nor you will not . Nay now you drunken slave , I have taken you upon the advantage , I will now trye whether you or I shall be master : I will not now be satisfied with any reason ; nor no words shall prevaile , but now blowes shall : how doe you like that tell me : nay now a little of the other side , that the one side may not mocke the other . Come Sirrah , you are a Drunkard , and spend all your money And when you come home you call me your honey . But all shall not serve thee , for have at thy pate , My Ladle of the Crab-tree , shall teach thee to cogge and to prate . Husband . O good wife forbeare , I will be very ample , And to all ill husbands I le prove an example Wife . Well doe , and see you doe so , and you shall see , I Wee 'le never her after cause you to kneele and to cry . This she spake to her maid-servant , out of his hearing . Ah , hah , have I got the master now ? I will hold it , while I have it , and bragge and tell my other neighbours wives of it , that they may doe the like to their Husbands , as I have done to my white-liver'd , faint-hearted husband , gramarcy , this stout heart of mine : and I doe thanke the Fates that they decreed hee should have no courage in him at this time that I tooke him to taske : for had he but offered to have made resistance , or strove with me , he might have very easily wrung this Crab-tree Ladle out of my hands , and have basted me with it , as I have done him : I see it is good sometimes to put on a bold face , and a resolute courage , though in a desperate and doubtfull action : For who would have imagined that I should be the conqueror , had they seene thy Master and my selfe stand together : now the Proverbe is very true ; the gray mare is the better horse ; for indeede I was very angry , and full of wrath , and wrath is commendable , when the occasion is just , as it was now on my side ; for wee little women are soone hot , and our hearts are neare our mouthes , and speake our mindes , and doe our does , and then we have done ; for anger is no infirmity , nor is it to bee held a capitall Crime : but for a woman to persevere in her anger , that is an infirmity , and subject to the censure of the Law. This Act of mine may prove advantagious to mee , and may worke much upon my Husbands thoughts , and him make somewhat better , then ever he was since his mother bound his head : for he findes now at the first what hee shall trust to alwaies , if hee once crosse mee in my intentions : it is a notable good thing , and worth your observation , Hussy , to know how to provide a remedy for a calamity , I should never have ridde thy Master from that course of ill-husbandry , but by this meanes : and I must still threaten him , and keepe him in awe ; for that body which is accustomed to patience , or to his kinde of usage , will never forsake any place for paine or travile whatsoever . I have heard many men say , that a woman and a Spannell , the more thy are beaten , the better they will love their Masters : I have now tryed conclusions , and have once crost that Proverbe ; and will try whether my husband will love mee the better yea or no : and now I le perswade him , that the more a man is beaten , and a Wall-nut-tree , the better and larger fruite may bee expected from the one , and the more obedience and love from the other : for doe but hang a dogge in a Crabbe-tree , and hee will never love verjuce after : so let every woman fall upon her husband , not onely in bare railing words , but doe it in action , and say it on to the purpose , he will ever after bee afraid of comming home so late drunk , I will warrant you : a woman that hath such a husband , ought rather to be a Shrew than a sheepe : for when they finde that a woman is of a milde disposition , and will not talke to them , and tell them of their faults roundly , they doe but make Asses and Coxecombes of them , and laugh at them behinde their backs , and bragge to their companions , that they can perswade their wives to any thing ; and tell them a tale of a Tub , and make them beleeve any thing as they say to bee true : Therefore judge you now , Hussy , whether I doe not deserve praise for this daies worke yea or no. On Skimmingtons love to her Neighbours . Skimmington with more than a common love , Her neighbours ease , and honour doth promote : By common fame this case we plainly prove . For oft he rides , that else would goe on foote . A discreet and modest wives directions to her husband , who was an Aldermans Deputy , and a Common-counsell-man , for keeping ill company . DEare and loving husband , I have long time beheld your uncivill carriage , and past it over with modesty and silence : when the wine hath got possession of the chiefest part of man , I meane the braine , that then you are not your own keeper , nor have power neither of your words or actions ; I know very well , that you are a man , that ( when you are not intoxicated ) is sensible and understanding enough in many worldly affaires , and know how to behave your selfe in all companies whatsoever : you have a good voluable tongue of your owne , and can tell how to order or arbitrate any difference or matter of consequence when you are requested thereto ; but when you are in this veine of drinking , you are not then the same man for sobriety that the whole City and parish where you dwell takes you to be : you know your owne discretion , but you doe not know your owne indiscretion : for words without good effects , is like a great water which drowneth the people , and doth it selfe no profit ; so you that will punish others for being drunke , and make them pay a Fee to the poore , are in like case not to bee borne withall : for hee that passeth measure in drinking ; is no more master of his owne thoughts , or of his tongue ; and without shame he speaketh of all dishonest things , and such as are unseemely : and in this case a man becommeth a Child : it is a thing of exceeding great difficulty , for a man to conceale and hide his owne ignorance : but much more difficult it is for a man to conceale any thing when hee hath drunke well : you must not be too forward to speake in the Vestry when you have bin a drinking store of wine , for then you lispe , and clip the Kings English ; for at that time every man takes notice of your weaknesse , for then you make that little member your tongue the discoverer of your owne folly ; for when you have spoken , the words that you have utter'd and deliver'd , are no longer yours , but those that observe them ; nor are they left to your construction and meaning , though you thinke no harme , but to their interpretation that heare them : Good speeches are the image of the minde ; therefore the temperance of the tongue and silence ought to be great , and men ought to use and imploy their eares oftner than their tongues : therefore my good husband , observe but this , that it is not good to bee too prompt and forwards in speaking , unlesse you be called to it : my reason is , because many words and much speech , is an apparant signe of folly ; for neither words nor winde will fill a Bushell . I have observed it divers times , and I have much mused , that when you have drunk a cup of strong Beere in the morning next your heart , that you have shaked your head , and made a sowre face : when you have had it in your stomacke ; you have said that it made you heart-burn'd , and it is nothing else but your drinking of Wine that doth so inflame your stomacke , that if you doe drinke any other cooler liquor , then it qualifies the former heate , and washes and cleanses the slime from off your stomacke , which makes it as it were raw and hear-burning , so that nothing will agree with your stomacke , but wine ; and I have noted it , that it meales you are sicke , and cannot digest your meate , unlesse you drinke some wine every meale , and this is nothing but custome and ill Company that hath brought this desire of drinking wine upon you . At any time when you are in this case , you have no power of your selfe , but the wine makes you its slave and servant , to doe , and worke what it lists in your braine : it may perchance so intoxicate your sences , that you may receive such an injury , or doe such an accident , that you may repent for it all the daies of your life : when you have drunke so much what good doth it you ? it makes you uncapable of any thing , unlesse of quarrelling , and gaming ; and too much Wine doth provoke lust , and when that abounds , then some ill act of incontinencie followes ; for there is nothing in man more able to make him lose his humanitie with more facilitie , than by his tongue , and too much Wine : Wine is the Rats-bane of our land , and I am fully perswaded that more dye by surfeits of Wine , than by the sword , or any other disease : where have there beene more hurts and injuries done , than by Wine ? for that is the chiefe cause and ground of all desperate attempts and quarrels , for when the Wine is in , the wit is out : for the excesse of Wine bringeth forth three sorts of Grapes , the first of pleasure , the second of drunkenesse , and the third of sorrow : One thing more , my sweete-heart , and I have done ; you know I never twitted you in the teeth , as some women do , the next day , for your being late abroad ; and come home so , that you have not beene able to helpe your selfe ; and have forgotten the next morning when you have beene recovered , to pay the tribute you owne to mee by Wedlocke : I have beene content and said nothing , and put up al with silence , for silence is a gift without danger or perill : but indeede husband , I must ingeniously confesse , I have paid it with thinking : I have read , that it is a rare vertue to know how , and when to bee silent : I never repented me to have held my tongue , but I have oftentimes bin sorry that I have spoken : just like as narrow mouthed vessels which are longest in filling , keepe their liquor the better : so are womens tongues that are slow in talking , get the most credit and commendations : for all , or most men know , that empty vessells make the greatest sound : so they that have the emptiest Scull , and the least wit , are the greatest bablers . A Lecture of an Informers wife to her Husband . SIrrah , you are a very Rascall , I will set you out to the ful , I will make all thy friends ashamed of thee : I will give them to understand , that they may know as well as my selfe , when thou hast mony , and when thou hast none : for you know you have but two Cloaks , one of Stuffe , the other of Cloth , and when you have one at home , or on your backe , the other is commonly at pawn at the Brokers : thou hast no mony , but what thou gettest by shirking and rooking when men are drunke ; or else thou keepest stakes while men are at some game or other , and then the whilst they are at their sport thou runnest quite away : when thou dost weare thy stuffe Cloake in winter , or on a rainy day , then may thy companions know thou hast no mony , nor canst redeeme thy cloth Cloak : then in the Summer time , when thou dost weare thy Cloth Cloake , it is the very same case with thee ; in Dock , out Nettle ; while one is at home , the other is in Lavender in Long-lane . Thou mightest have beene ashamed to have left thy honest Trade and profession of being a Tailer , onely to live idly , and walke up and downe streetes and turne knave for a groat a day : I will imblazon you name for you ; you are an Asse , a Shirke , a Rooke , a Decoy , a Buffoon , a white Liver'd slave : You can talke and domineere at home when you are in your Cups , like a Lion , but abroad amongst your companions you seeme to bee as meeke as a Lambe : but indeede you are a meere Sheepes head , or rather a Rams head in a Wolfes Skinne : a flye youth , a jeering double-lookt cōpanion : thy Father was an Animall , and thy mother some lazy droane , and thou thy selfe must needes bee of Brocklyes Breede , better to hang than to feede ; when you come home , you sit before me like Hum Drum , or like the Cat in the Cupboord ; and when you are abroad , and almost drunk , then you beginne to shew your mad tricks ; then no ground will hold you , leaping over Tables and stooles , or any thing that is in your way , but I hope you will one day breake your necke ; and if you do so , y faith I will then have my owne will , and goe to bed Mistresse , and rise againe Master ; the next husband that I have shall find it so I le warrant him : And when thou goest to be buried , I will not shed a teare for thee , thou hast so hardned my heart against thee now in thy life time : I doe thinke in my conscience , my heart is grown so hard as thy fore-head ; and I thinke I have shed so many teares by thy meanes , that I can weepe no more , unlesse I get a good sharpe Onion in my handkerchiefe , and so force some teares from me for fashion sake : And then I will hire some poor condition'd Poet or other to make an Epitaph on thee , as they have done on some of thy fellowes which are dead already , as thou maist plainly see and read . On an Informer who dyed for want of imployment . On Munday morning hee with sorrow dy'd , Because on Sunday no abuse he spy'd : For thogh he oft took bribes death none would take , Now here he lies , ready to stinke at the stake . Let Tapsters rejoyce , and sing merry Catches , For the Informer here is in a dead sleepe laid : What of all that , both good and bad have matches , Though he be gone there is more left of his trade : It was but a mony matter , so it is still , Twelve pence a quarter , use what pots you will. A Lecture of a Country-mans wife , who was a Gentlemans Baily in the Country . SIrrah , I doe know something of you , that now I will tell , and make knowne to the whole Country , seeing you have so angred me , and wil not let me have my will , I will not forbeare to speak that , which shal make you loose your Office of a Baily , and make you be whipped through the Towne at a horse Taile : you understand me , sirrah , you Rascall , doe you not ? Now you stand as though Butter would not melt in your Mouth , and give never a word : I will so nettle you , that you had better wished you had laine at Nettle-bed all night : doe you remember how you rise in a Summer morning before day peepe , on purpose to intise your neighbours hogges into your liberty , by carrying a few Beanes or Pease in your hat , and but letting the poore creatures smell on them , they presently follow you into your liberty ; and then you pound them , and by this meanes you get your fees , and make your selfe rich . Husb. I prethee good Wife hold thy peace , and thou shalt have any thing that thou hast a desire unto ; name it , and here is money to pay for it . Wife . Sirrah , it is now too late , you shall not thinke to make mee hold my tongue ; I care not for your proffers now : I will make the whole towne acquainted with your knavery : I will set you out in your colours ; for you live by bribery and extortion , not doing your Office as you ought , and according to the oath you have tooke , but live by rooking , and cheating , and couzning of poore people . Husb. I prethee good Doll hold thy peace , thou hast too much tongue ; sure thou wert borne in a Mill , thy tongue is so loud and shrill : I did heare before wee were marryed that thou wouldest prove a scold , and that you had ever a shrewes tongue in your mouth , but I would never beleeve it , but now I finde it too true . Wife . Marry , a woman had neede to have two tongues that hath such a husband as I have , that grumbles and mumbles at every peny I lay out upon my selfe : one tongue is too little to let you know how you use mee and likewise to tell you of the other side of your base conditions ; for you abuse the whole Country , and the Gentleman you serve : you heard I was a shrew , I had better bee so than mealy-mouth'd , for then you would make a right foole of me , a meere Asse , and beare all the burthen , while you goe up and downe from Ale-house to Ale-house , to defraud your Master of his Wesses and Straies , and put up the money in your owne Pocket : but I will say no more to you , but I le goe and tell the Major of the Towne , and hee shall call you in question , and I will bear witnesse against thee my selfe . Husb. When I was a Batchellour I onely lookt to my horse & my saddle : But now I am a marriman , I have got a scould , a childe , and a Cradle . Oh , that I were unmarryed againe : some men get good wives , and mony to boote , but I neither got money , nor yet a good wife , onely discord and dissention , and in stead of Lord and Master she calls me rogue and Rascall : therefore I must bee content , and beare my crosse patiently ; knowing that it is better for me , and all men else , to overcome a crosse wife by prudence than by force . And therefore let no man when he seeks for a wife , aske , What hath shee , but what is shee ; for vertue and quietnesse is wealth enough , and better than riches and greatnesse : for an inequality of birth or riches , doth often cause strife and dissention . A Brokers wife to her Husband . OVt tho unconscionable villaine , as I am an honest woman : there is not such another Iew in the City of Malta ; thirty in the hundred will not serve your unsatiable covetous desire , but you must take threescore at the least , and sweare you can hardly live on it . The name of Broker was well given to you : for you were Broak before you set up ; and Curs for biting so hard , ever since you set up : Now you scorne to bee called Brokers , but you must have a new name given you with a Murraine to you : you must now be called Fibbers , and one that deales in whole-sale : You take no pawnes you say , when all thy living is by extortion , and nothing else but by taking pledges and pawnes , I will make it good thou art a Broker , though thou maist tearme thy selfe what thou pleasest : thou wast first an Adamite , thou know'st what I meane , A gentleman Tayler ; then by chance you eate a Spider , and flew up with Iacksons hens , and not worth a groat ; and now you have got a few cloathes which came out of rogue Lane , that dropt out of the hang-mans wardrobe , that what with selling , and lending upon pawnes , you now get the Divell and all ; I will discover your villany , you drunken Asse you : I will make you staie at home , or else I will know why I shall not : You lye upon the lurch to buy stolne goods , and receive them into your house at midnight , and then bid not halfe the worth of them ; and if you cannot get them at your owne rate or price , you will make the party beleeve you will send for the Constable , and apprehend him for suspition of Felonie ; and thus by shirking and cheating you get your estate ; and if you get the commodity of them at your owne rate , then you will make much of them , and will let them out at your backe doore , that they may not be seen . Thou art a slave of the world , and I wil have thee tost in a Blanket ; a meere Caterpiller of the earth : If thou tak'st a gowne of any value to pawne , thou wilt be sure to geld it before it goe away from thee : If it be a Sattin Peticoate laid with silver or gold lace , thou wilt picke the Spangles from off it , or else steale a breadth , or at the least halfe a breadth out of it ; and if it be questioned , then thou wilt forsweare it , and lie abhominable ; therfore I think thou art a limbe of some evill spirit , or else the Divell got thee in spight , and brought thee up in shame ever since ; thou hast such dissembling Tricks in thee , no man hath the like , I thinke , that lives . Thy pedigree I have heard of , thy Grandfather was a Rat-catcher , and thy grandmother was a poore old woman that cryed Small-coale a peny a pecke up and downe the streete : and I doe thinke thy mother was some oister-wife , and thy father a Chimnie sweeper , thou hast such base conditions in thee ; thou art a scoundrell , beetell-browd , and a ramme-headed fellow : there is a bob for your sirrah . Husb. Good wife forbeare now , and speake no more at this time ; you see I give yon leave to say any thing ; come , let thee and I be friends , let me kisse thee . Wife . And are you growne so kinde just now ? if you must needes kisse , take me about the middle and kisse the heaviest end ; for you shall kisse no where else ; when you are drunke then any bodie you meete with is as good as your wife , then you care not whom you kisse and imbrace : Sirrah , I heare you are a Mutton monger , and run after laced Mutton ; but I hope all your knavery one day will bee discovered , though now you dance in a net : if you doe not use me better , and as a man should use his wife , I will have you indited at the Sessions for receiving of stolne goods : or else for some of your other base tricks , I will make you looke through a two inch boord on a Market day . Husb. I prethee Sweet heart speake softly , let me have no more of these words ; you may touch me so farre , as to call my life in question ; you ought not to reveale your husbands secrets in any case , especially those of such weight as this is : If I have bin in any fault , I will labour to amend it , and it shall be no more so . Wif. Live and learn then , and at last be hanged , and forget all ; you say now that you will doe no more of these base actions , but to morrow I shall have you in the same condition againe : drunke all day at the Taverne , & then come home like a hog all be mired with dirt ; and so what you get one way basely , you spend the other way as scurvily : for mony gotten as you get it , never will thrive . The husbands wish . Bedlam , God blesse thee , Thou wāts nought but wit , Which being got , from whipping thou art quit . As for thee Bridewell , I cannot much dispraise thee , For thou feedest the hungry , And dost firke the lazy . And for thee Newgate , I can not much complaine For once a month thou ridst men out of paine . But from a wicked womans tongue , God defend me , To Bedlam , Newgate , Bridewell rather send me . For there in time Wit , VVorke , or Law sets free , But from a womans malice , neither wit , worke , nor Law gives libertie . A Lecture between a Pedler and his wife , as they walked on the high way . 1. Wife . HVsband , what money hast thou in thy Purse ? 2. Husb. Wife , I have but a shilling , two groats , and three farthings , and a good stocke too . 3. Wife . You had twenty five shillings Husband , what a Divell is become of it ? 4. Husb. O wife I le tell A Cove and a Mort Whidling together as they budged upon the Pad . 1. Cove . MOrt , what lower hast thou in thy Bung ? 2. Cove . I have a boord , two stagges , a Make , and onejon , and a rum stocke too . 3. Cove . You had twenty five boord Cove , what a Ruffin is budged with it ? 4. Cove . O Mort , I whid to thee : I went to the Ale-house , and there I spent all my money amongst good fellowes , and pretty wenches . But how shall we save this , and get more ? 5. Wife . I le tell thee thou shallow-braind fellow , thou must beg at Farmers doores for Bread and Cheese , or a Cup of small Beere , or a Hens egge , and speake boldly for it : and lye in some Barne upon straw all night , and goe away early in the morning : And rather then want Meate , or Drinke , steales Hennes , Duckes , Geese , or Capons : And if you see to thee : I budged to the bowsing Ken , & there I bowsed all my lower amongst the Beane Coves , and Doxes : But how shall we save this , & get more ? 5. Mort. I le tell thee queere Cove , thou must maund at the Gigger for Pannum and Casum , or a cheat of queere bowse , or Kacklen Cheate , and whid rumpsie ; and then lib in the Strummel , al the darkmans , and budge a beake in the light mans : and rather then want Rum-peck , or Beane boose , mill the Cacklers , coy the Quack , or Duds : and if you tower any sheets lie upon the hedge , steale them and run away : If thou want mony , then goe to the next market or faire , and there picke a Pocke , or cheate some Country-man ; and then goe to the Alehouse , and drinke merrily and jovially : But husband be sure you save me some money when you are at the Alehouse . Husb. But doe you heare wife : what if I should bee taken in stealing of Hennes , Ducks , Geese , or Capons , or Cloathes , or picking a Pocket , and so bee carried to prison : wife what shall I then say ? any states lye upon the Cracke , mill them , and budge a beak : And if thou want lower , budge to the next Vile , and there nip a Bung , or cloy a Culley ; then budge to the bowsing Ken , and boose rumsie and beanely : but Cove be sure thou tip me some Lower , when you budge backe from the Ken. 6. Cove . But sto Mort : what if I should bee Cloyed in the milling of Cacklers , Quacklers , or Duds , or nipping a Bung , and so be cloyed , & budged to the Naskin : Mort what shall I whid then ? 7. Wife . Peace husband , peace , if you be carried to prison , I will goe to our companions , and speake to them for some mony to release thee out of prison : and then we 'le goe to the next City , where we may steale safely . 8. Husb. Oh thou art a good wife , and speakest bravely : I will venture an hanging before I will want mony , meate , or good drinke , or cloathes for my Wife and Children : I care not for any Constable or Beadle ; nor doe I feare the whipping post . 7. Mort. Sto Cove , if thou budge to the Naskin , I will bing to the Coves and the Morts , and whid to them for Lower , that thou maist budge out of the Naskin : and then budge into the Rum-vile , where the Coves and the Morts do not tower us : & there we may cloy brinsy . 8. Cove . As thou art a Beane Mort , and whids rumpsie , I will venture a training , or a noosing , ' ere I will want Lower , peckage , beane bowse , or duds for my Morts , & my Kinchins . I doe not fear any Harmanbeck , or Pug , nor doe I care for Cly the Ierke . Of two young Virgins talking of their Sweet-hearts and Sueters . Two pretty young toward Girles , newly come into their Teenes , not Sisters , but Neighbours Children , and of acquaintance from their Cradles , and no doubt but the forwardest Children their Father had : being one day invited ( with their Parents ) to a Feast : Dinner being done , and the Guests being severally imployed , either in discourse or other exercise of game or drinking , they two retired themselves from the rest into the Garden , and chusing out a private ( but pleasant ) walke , they began their discourse as followeth : 1. Maid . And I pray you how old are you ? Lord , how are you grown of late since the last Quarter ! Doe you weare no Corkes , nor no Polonie-heeles ? why you shew as if you walk't upon chippeenes , nay , you grow not onely tall , but proper withall , so that me-thinks it is high time you look't after an Husband . The second made answer , Ill weeds grow apace , and for Husbands wee may looke long enough after them , ere they will cast an eye upon us , I meane any that are worth the having . But what a foole am I to speake us , in the Plurall number , that for ought I see , shall be forc't to continue in the Singular whilst I live . Indeed said the other , Ego & tu are more frequent than Nos and Vos amongst us Virgins : we may say , A lacke the while , for wee both know what is wanting ; for what doe wee all this while but loose time , which might bee better imploy'd ( I wis ) than to dreame of shadows , and never know what the substance meanes : it will bee long enough ere our Parents will provide for us , therefore me-thinks it is time at these yeares that wee looke out for our selves . She reply'd , and truely Sister I am of your minde ; but I pray you , had you never any Suiters yet ? Suiters ( answered shee ) O yes , but simple ones , Heaven knowes : There comes to mee last day a dapper Tailer , and would faine have beene doing ; hee would have tooke measure of mee before there was stuffe to make me a gowne ; a pretty little Hopper me thumb it was , but I quickly gave him his answer , having vow'd to make choice of a Man , or never to marry . And then there was a sweete Youth , a Comfet-maker , that came to court me with a paper of Sugar-plummes , but him I could not relish because of his rotten Teeth . And for a Scrivener , there shall never any Indentures be drawne betwixt him and me drunke nor sober , for in all his Leases ( if you have observ'd it ) where you shall once read Alwayes provided , you shall finde at the least twenty times Notwithstanding : Nor I an Haberdasher of small wares said the other ; I will have one that deales by whole-sale , or none . Another of my Sweet-hearts came to me the other day , and said , Sweete Mistris , one word in your eare : Nay said I , speake it openly , I am not affraid of what you can say : no good sweet-heart said he , let me tell it you privately ; then I gave him the hearing , because I hoped the sooner to be rid of the fooles company : and what was it , but hee told me , he would tell me such a Tale in my eare that would doe mee good at the heart , and what was it , but of an old passage betweene Venus and Adonis , and that was all he did : onely hee presented me with a Coppy of Verses , and many Letters of Complements in writing , which I tooke on purpose to laugh at , and withall he intreated me to accept of them , for they were of his owne invention . And when I had perused them , I remember'd that I had read them in Print , for hee stole them out of divers bookes of Complements on my knowledge , thinking thereby that I should account him witty , and the sooner to get my love : but I sent him away with such a flout , that I think he will scarce come againe this Weeke : for in troth if ever I marry , I 'le have a proper man , and one that I can fancy well , or else I will never consent to wed . Introth Sister , said the other , I would I had never any one that did aske mee the question ; I doe think I was borne under an evill or melancholly Planet , every one can get sweete-hearts but I : I am now sixteene yeares old , it cost me a Groat to the Knave the Clarke for searching the Booke ; for my Father told mee that I was but fifteene yeares old , but I found it that I was above sixteene yeares , in troth I cannot lie any longer alone . I doe so bite the sheets , and tosse up and downe in the bed like a Cat when shee is pinched by the taile . I have heard that in former times the Roman Law was , that they did allow that a Man might marry at eighteene , and a Maide at twelve yeares of age , I would it were in use with us in our Countrey : But men now a daies are growne faint-hearted , and dare not presume to aske the question , but let Maids alone till wee pine , and wrong our selves , and make our moanes , for women are not perfect without men , though men are without women . Quest. But sister , pray tell me , what thinke you of a Grocer ? An. That as Hogges are frank't with Pease and Akornes , so he would fat mee up with Figges and Raisons . Qu. What thinke you of a Fishmonger ? A. That of the contrary hee would make me as leane as Lent , and looke all the yeare after with a Good Friday-face . Qu. What of a Goldsmith ? An. The Gold I like well , but for the Smith , I care not if hee were packt amongst the other mettall-men . Q. What then of a Jeweller ? An. Ey marry now you speake to some purpose , for plaine dealing is a Jewell , howsoever many a one that useth it , may die a begger . Q. What of an Upholster ? A. That his Wife , though she fare hard , shall bee sure to lye soft , and if shee be wise , shee 'l finde how to feather her Nest I warrant her . Qu. What thinke you of a Draper ? An. As of an honest conscionable man , for they allow to every Yard the over-plus of London measure . Q. What of a Silke-man ? An. As of a Silke-worme ; if his Wife proove too fine for his finger , he may say , he hath spunne a faire thread , and so he turne Butterfly , and shee Spinster . Q. What of a Merchant ? An. Of Eele-skinnes doe you meane ? Q. No , I meane the noble Trade of the Merchant adventurers . An. When hee goeth a wooing , God send him good shipping , and that his Vessell leake not betwixt Winde and Water . Qu. And what think you of a Clarke ? An. How , of a Church ? Qu. No , nor of a Chappel . A. Then I guesse your meaning ; I would not have a Clarke of the Chancery , because he might trouble my conscience ; nor a Clarke of the Arches , for he would rather make my will , than give me my will : nor a Clarke of the Check-her , for hee would be alwayes crossing me : but if any , a Clarke of the peaces Clarke , a Clarke of the Rolles , or of the Pipe-office . At this the Guests came into the Garden , and they were forc't to breake off their discourse . A new tricke to tame a Shrew . TWo nigh neighbours , that had beene long brothers in affliction , as being sicke of one disease , had many times made complaints the one to the other ( but all in vaine ) of the churlish and crabbish disposition of their wives , what Shrewes they were , and themselves were made no better than Subjects to the Smock : but at the length , one of them having the better Spirit , vowed to himselfe that he would never give over the combate , untill he had got the Conquest ; and so indeede it happened . After which , spying his friend and neighbour in the fields a farre off , he cryed unto him aloud , Victory , victory : the other not knowing what hee meant by it , drew neare unto him , and demanded of him the reason of that joyfull acclamation ? who told him , that after many dangerous conflicts , at length he was Conquerour : and Bold-face his wife , was compeld to cease all claim to the breeches : which his friend would not beleeve , till having fac'd it out with some small Oathes : who when hee had both heard , and beleeved him , he was desirous to know all the Circumstance : then he proceeded thus . Comming home somewhat late according to my custome , my minion beganne to mander ; to which I said but little at first ; but note what followed after . When presuming on my wonted patience , the Hen ( forsooth beganne to Cackle , and I set out a throate to crow ; and loud I was indeede , and shee got no advantage on me that way : and not knowing whether I was in jest , or earnest , she scornfully smild upon me , and cald me old Coxecombe : to which I answered ; Most surely if I have a Combe on my head , I have Spurs on my heeles ; and still as shee spurd me a question , I kickt her an answer . I like the beginning well ( saith his neighbour ) but the end tries all things : But I pray you tell mee ; did you not learne this at a play ? Who replyed , a play ? I scorne it ; what I have done , I found out by my owne practise , and am able of my selfe to set out a Grammer with rules to prove , that the Gray mare is no more the better horse . Well , when she beganne to raile , I fell to rage , insomuch , that any wise man would have thought us both mad ; and then shee said I was drunke ; but shee after found by proofe , that what I did was in sober sadnesse ; and as shee skreekt out , so still shee scratcht behind , where I am sure it itch't not , for I had applyed too much Arsmart already . Then I bade her come to bed , who no sooner said she would not , but I swore shee should not , and withall lockt her out of the Chamber , and there she lay all a cold frosty night on the bare boords ; I having before prickt her posteriours , that she had as good to have laine upon Thornes . Then said his neighbour : but how could you have the heart to use her so hardly ? The heart ( quoth hee ) marry hang her Brocke ; being over shooes , I car'd not to be over Bootes ; and once wet to the Ankles , to wade up to the Chin : Vp I got in the Morning , shee lay along in my way grunting and groaning ; when I making as if I had stumbled at a blocke , gave her a sound spurnne upon the Buttocks , and never cryed her mercy : O my what doe you call 't , said shee . What ailes Mistris Miniver , quoth I. I am sicke and would have a Posser , said shee . A Posset with a poxe to you , said I ; you would have a Cawdle made of Calves Egges , would you not ? Vp you lazy-bones , wee shall have you fall into the scurvy , and then there is no cure for you but a Cudgell . Next she cald her maid to fetch her some hot water : then I stept downe , and finding a Kettle-full seething on the fire , fild a Bowle , and brought it up to her making her beleeve it was warme for her stomacke , and if shee would not drinke it off , I would powre it downe her bosome : That done , I bid her get downe the staires , or I would set her downe with her head first , and her heeles after . But ( said the other ) had shee the patience to endure it ? Who answered , yes , patience perforce : such as debtors have , to bee hurried to prison , or theeves to bee drawne to the Gallowes : I had never begunne the worke , but that I meant to goe through stich with it ; that morning I turnd away her madnesse , and then she was no more a Mistresse , which I knew vext her not a little , and that which most angered her , seemed but to please me : For I vow'd , since shee would bee a Divell shee should be her owne drudge : yes , and though his Damme said against it . Said his neighbour , said shee nothing all this while ? had I us'd my wife so , all the streete should have wrung , as the bells of it , for I am most sure shee hath as loud a Clapper . To which he answered , what should any thing be spoke , where nothing would be heard ? and that she knew well enough ; for I had drown'd her Cannon with my Thunder : But shee bent her Browes , Glouted with her eyes , first bit her lippes , and then her Tongue ; sometimes offered her foote , and then her sist , but durst fall foule with neither ; If she had , I threatned to bind her hand and foote and so leave her . Then I lockt up her Gownes , least she should gadde abroad to complaine to her Gossips ; and the Divell a Cloth did I leave to put about her necke , but a Dish-clout . Sometimes I set her to spinne , till shee thought the world runne upon wheeles , and made her say within her selfe , ( as shee hath since confest ) I have spun a faire thread , have I not ? I made her wash till shee was glad to wring her hands , and rubbe the Pewter and Brasse till not a skellet scapt a scouting . Then I would find fault with every thing , and be pleased with nothing : nor could shee sweepe so cleane , but I would finde a sluts corner : nay , I left her not so much rule , as over the roast , and the weapons that I awed her with , were the spit and the Jackeline ; insomuch , that shee beganne at the length to be a little more plyant and tractable , and beganne to change her perverse obstinacy , into a kinde of peevish obedience ; for she would turn her frowne into a sowre smile , and in the stead of a double , expresse a doubtfull duty , ( syrreveverence ) in a kind of a jeering and mockng courtesie . By my faith , said his Neighbour , I should be glad of so much , and be very thankfull too ; but I can compasse no such matter , unlesse I meant to buy it with stroakes : No ( said the Shrew-tamer ) but I would bee a man or a Mouse ; a Caesar aut nullus : this was no submission to give me satisfaction ; but I pursu'd it further : for what good would the knee without the heart have done mee ? But I followed the scent whilst it was hot . Shee could not come at a shooe to her foote , nor a hat to her head , nor a band to her necke , nor a Coate to her backe ; so that she was in a perplexity to be ever kept in Prison , which she fearing , was at length content to doe any thing ; and if I commanded her to light her Candles at the wrong end : and till then I could never truly crye victory , and boast of the Conquest . But first I must tell you , I suffered no sleepe to come neare her eyes ; which I learnt first of a Falkner , for Hawkes are tam'd by watching onely , and that will make any Haggard come to hand : and shee at this time comes as gently to the fist , as any Falcon of them all , and may at this time be called a Tassell gentle . Now a blessing on thine heart said his Neighbour : This is an Art you have found out , worth all the seven liberall Sciences ; and would you but keepe a schoole , and professe the teaching of it , clappe but your Bills upon posts , and I make no doubt , but you will quickly have Customers out of all Countries : and so for that time they parted . Certaine signes to know a Shrew by . Take heede of a sowre Lasse , whose wrinkles in her forehead comes neare her eye-browes ; for the most part she is sullen , and upon my life will prove right at straight . Take heede of a Hawks eye , a sharpe nose , and an eye that is blacke and waterish , for they are true blew . Take heede of a Bottle-nose , one whose nose turnes up againe like a Shooing-horne : for if she doe not after eighteene monthes tell you your owne , then blame mee for ever after for an ignorant married man. Take heed of one , who hath a long white hand ; for shee will doe no huswifry , for feare she should spoyle her fine fingers . I am of Diogines opinion for marriage ; that yong men may not marry yet , old men not at all : for I doe wish I had never married , nor beene given in marriage : And for advice you may as well blindefold your selfe , and then chuse , as to have your eye-sight and be deceived , for the proofe of the pudding is in the eating . FINIS : Tzijn siercke beenen die weelde draaghen konne . 
A13451	----	For the sacred memoriall of the great, noble, and ancient example of vertue and honour, the illustrious and welbeloued Lord, Charles Howard, Earle of Nottingham iustice in Eyre of all His Maiesties forests, parks, and chases on this side Trent, Knight of the Honourable Order of the Garter, and one of the lords of His Maiesties most Honourable Priuy Councell : who departed this life at his mannour of Haleing in Surrey on Thursday the 14 of December, 1624, and was buried at Rigate, amongst his honourable ancestors, the 20 of December last, 1624. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1625 Approx. 14 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 7 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13451 STC 23758 ESTC S1371 19944678 ocm 19944678 23548 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13451) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 23548) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1717:11) For the sacred memoriall of the great, noble, and ancient example of vertue and honour, the illustrious and welbeloued Lord, Charles Howard, Earle of Nottingham iustice in Eyre of all His Maiesties forests, parks, and chases on this side Trent, Knight of the Honourable Order of the Garter, and one of the lords of His Maiesties most Honourable Priuy Councell : who departed this life at his mannour of Haleing in Surrey on Thursday the 14 of December, 1624, and was buried at Rigate, amongst his honourable ancestors, the 20 of December last, 1624. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [12] p. For H.G., Printed at London : 1625. In verse. Epistle signed: Iohn Taylor. Signatures: [pi]¹ A² B⁴ (last leaf blank). Reproduction of original in the Harvard University. Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Nottingham, Charles Howard, -- Earl of, ca. 1536-1624. Laudatory poetry, English. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-06 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Some few yeares since , I rode to my Lords Mannour of Haleing in Surrey , where I presented his Lordship with a Manuscript , or written Booke of the names and degrees of all the Knights of the Noble Order of the Garter , since the first institution by King Edward the third , which was of mine owne collections out of Windsor Castle , and some authentique Histories : His Lordship receiued it gratefully , and rewarded me honourably : in the which Booke was an Anagram of his Name and Earledome of Nottingham , which I hold very fitting to bee hereunder Printed , because it fals correspondent to the reuerence of his age , and the happinesse which the words import . Charles Howarde , Earle of Nottinghame . Anagramma . O Heauen cals , and hath true Glorie for me . And happie was this happy Anagram , Heauen cals Charles Howard Earle of Nottingham : And he obeyd the call , and gaind true Glory , For change of earthly titles transitory . FOR THE SACRED MEMORIALL OF THE GREAT , NOBLE , and ancient Example of Vertue and Honour , The Illustrious and Welbeloued LORD , CHARLES HOWARD Earle of Nottingham , Iustice in Eyre of all his Maiesties Forests , Parks , and Chases on this side Trent ; Knight of the Honourable Order of the Garter , and one of the Lords of his Maiesties most Honourable Priuy Councell . WHO DEPARTED THIS Life at his Mannour of Haleing in Surrey on Thursday the 14 of December , 1624. and was buried at Rigate , amongst his Honourable Ancestors , the 20 of December last . 1624. Printed at London for H. G. 1625. TO THE RIGHT HONOVrable , Right Worshipfull , of both Sexes , who had either alliance by Mariage , Consanguinity by Birth , or bore loue to the Right Noble and truly vertuous deceased . I Humbly craue your Worthinesse t' excuse This boldnesse of my poore vnlearned Muse , That hath presum'd so high a pitch to flye , In praise of Vertue and Nobility , I know this taske most fit for Learned men , For Homer , Ovid , or for Virgils pen : But for I with him haue both seru'd and sail'd , My gratefull duty hath so far preuail'd , Boldly to write true Honours late decease , Whiles better Muses please to hold their peace . And thus much to the world my Verse proclaimes , That neither Gaine nor Flattery are my aimes , But Loue and Dutie to the Noble dead , Hath caus'd me cause these Lines be published . And therefore I entreat your gen'rous Hearts , T' accept my duty , pardon my deserts , Beare with my weaknesse , winke at my defects , Good purposes doe merit good effects , Poore earthen Vessels may hold precious Wine , And I presume that in this Book of mine In many places you shall something find , To please each Noble well affected mind . And for excuse my Muse doth humbly plead , That you 'le forbeare to iudge before you reade . He that is euer a true well-wisher , and obsequious Seruant to your Honours , Worships , and Noble Personages ; Iohn Taylor . For the sacred Memoriall of the Great , Noble , and Ancient Example of Vertue and Honour , the Illustrious and welbeloued Lord , Charles Howard , Earle of Nottingham , Iustice in Eyre of all his Maiesties Forests , Parks , and Chases on this side Trent ; Knight of the Honourable Order of the Garter , and one of the Lords of his Maiesties most Honourable Priuy Councell , &c. WHat English Muse forbeares to shed a teare For Englands Nestor , grauest oldest Peere ? Not onely old in number of his dayes , But old in vertue , and all good mens praise : Whose actions all his pilgrimage did passe , More full of honour then his title was . And though his corps be seuer'd from his spirit , And that the world sufficient knowes his merit : Yet shall my poore vnworthy artlesse Verse In duteous seruice wait vpon his Hearse . My selfe his Honour on the Seas attended , And with his bounty haue I beene befriended , And to acquite me from vnthankfulnesse , My lines shall here my gratitude expresse . No monumentall Marble reard on hie , He needs t'emblaze him to posterity , No flattering Epitaph he needs to haue , To be engrau'd vpon a gaudy graue , His life and actions are his Monument , Which fils each Kingdome , Clime , and Continent . And when their memories shall stinke and dye , Who in most stately sepulchers doe lye , Then Royall Histories shall still relate To each degree , or age , or sex , or state , The vertue , valour , bounty , and the fame Of Englands all beloued Nottinghame : And Noble hearts his memory shall retaine Vntill the World to Chaos turne againe . That yeere of wonderment call'd eighty eight , When Fraud and Force did our destruction wait , When Hell , and Rome , and Spaine did all agree , That wee should vanquish'd and inuaded be . Our foes at Sea thirty one thousand men , With neere foure hundred ships and Gallies then , Then this White Lion rows'd with irefull teene , Defending both his Country and his Queene . Like second Mars to battle braue he went , God making him his worthy Instrument , His Chieftaine , Champion , and his Generall , With sixscore ships , and Vessels great and small , To conquer those that did for conquest come , And soile the power of Hell , and Spaine , and Rome . Then valour was with resolution mixt , And manhood with true honour firmly fixt . When death and danger threatned euery where , Braue Charles ( all fearlesse ) did encourage feare . When roring cannons countercheckt heauens thunder And slaughterd mē their vessels keeles lay vnder , The Sun eclyps'd with smoake , skies darke and dim , And battering bullets seuerd lim from lim , When as that sea might be the Red Sea call'd , Then he with dreadlesse courage , vnappall'd , Like a bright Beacon , or a blazing Star , Approu'd himselfe a thunderbolt of war , Whose valour and example valiantly Pursu'd and wonne a glorious victory . And then by him ( through the Almighties hand ) Preserued from inuasion was this Land. So that who euer shall his Tombe passe by , And shall enquire who there doth buried lye , If answer be but made , He 's in this Graue Who did in Eighty eight this Kingdome saue ; Then is the totall told , and seruice best , Wherewith this little Land was euer blest . At * Cales likewise the Sea-fight we did win By his direction and graue disciplin . The Spanish ships soone from his force retir'd , Some torne , some sunke , some taken , and some fir'd , And whensoere he gaue the ouerthrow , He nere insulted ore his conquerd foe , But like a Noble Lyon , euery way He scorn'd to prey vpon a yeelding prey : With pity , piety , and true remorce , His clemency was mixt with manly force . Vnto his foes a noble care he had , Nor would affliction to affliction adde : So that his enemies much cause did find To loue and honour his true noble mind . Yet gainst offenders he was sharply bent , Seuere in threats , and milde in punishment , His iustice would condemne , and in a breath His mercy sau'd whom iustice doom'd to death . His aduersaries he did oft relieue , And his reuenge was onely to forgiue . He knew that well got honour nere shall die , But make men liue vnto eternitie : It as his greatest riches he esteem'd , And Infamy he basest begg'ry deem'd . He knew , though worthy spirits may be crost , Yet if they lose no honour nothing's lost . And those that haue afraid of enuy bin , True honour or good fame did neuer win . If he an auaritious mind had bore , Of wealth no subiect then had had such store : So many yeares Englands high Admirall , Fees , offices , and prizes that did fall , With gifts and fauours from the Queene and State , And other things , amounting to a rate : That had he beene a mizer , close of hand , No subiect had been richer in this Land , In deeds of pity , and true charity , Good house-keeping , and hospitality , Bounty , and courteous affability , He was the Brooch of true Nobility : And for these vertues men shall scarcely find , That he a fellow here hath left behind . He knew that Auarice and Honor be Two contraries that neuer will agree : And that the Spender shall haue true renowne , When infamy the Mizers fame shall drowne . He euery way most nobly was enclin'd , And lou'd no wealth but riches of the mind : His pleasure was , that those that did retaine To him , and serue , should by him thriue and gaine : And he thought t' was enough for him to haue , When as his seruants did both get and saue . So amongst Nobles I thinke few are such , That keepes so little , giues away so much . His latest Will did make it plaine appeare , The loue which to his seruants he did beare . To great and small amongst them , more or lesse , His bounty did expresse his worthinesse : We know that God to man hath life but lent , And plac'd it in his bodies tenement , And when for it againe the Landlord cals , The Tenant must depart , the Cottage fals . God is most iust , and he will haue it knowne , That he in taking life , takes but his owne : Life is a debt which must to God be rendred , And Natures retribution must be tendred . Some pay in youth , and some in age doe pay , But t is a charge that all men must defray , For t is the lot of all mortality , When they begin to liue , begin to dye . And as from sin to sin we wander in , So death at last is wages for our sin . He neither hath respect to sex or yeares , Or hath compassion of our sighes nor teares , He 'll enter ( spight of bars , or bolts , or locks ) And like a bold intruder neuer knockes . To Kings and Caitiffes , rich , poore , great and small , Death playes the tyrant , and destroyes them all . He calls all creatures to account most strict , And no mans power his force can contradict . We must perforce be pleas'd with what he leaues vs , And not repine at ought which he bereaues vs. Hee 's lawlesse , and t is folly to demand Amends , or restitution at his hand . He doth deride the griefe of those that mourne , And all our fraile afflictions laugh to scorne . For hee condemnes , and neuer heares the cause , He takes away despight the power of Lawes . Yet hee our vassall euer doth remaine , From our first birth vnto our graue againe : And God doth in his seruice him employ , To be the bad mans terrour , good mans ioy . Death is the narrow doore to life eternall , Or else the broad gate vnto death infernall : But our Redeemer in his spotlesse offering , Did lead the way for vs to heauen by suffering . He was the death of death , when he did die Then Death was swallow'd vp in victory , And by his rising blessed soules shall rise , And dwell in the celestiall Paradise . For these respects , you whose affinity , Propinquity , or consanguinity , Whose blood or whose alliance challenge can A part in this deceased Nobleman , The law of Nature and affection moues , That griefe and sorrow should expresse your loues , He was your secondary maker , and Your authors earthly being , and you stand In duty for your liues and honours bound To him , for by him haue you beene renown'd . Yet Death that 's common vnto euery one , Should be intolerable vnto none : And therefore let his noble spirit rest , Amidst those ioyes which cannot be exprest , Let those that liue his goodnesse imitate , And yeeld vnto the course of mortall fate . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13451-e610 * 1596 
A13454	----	Great Britaine, all in blacke for the incomparable losse of Henry, our late worthy prince / by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1612 Approx. 22 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 13 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13454 STC 23760.5 ESTC S1372 19944883 ocm 19944883 23549 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13454) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 23549) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1717:12) Great Britaine, all in blacke for the incomparable losse of Henry, our late worthy prince / by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. Rowley, William, 1585?-1642? [24] p. : port. Printed by E.A. for I. Wright dwelling in Newgate Market, neere vnto Christs Church gate, London : 1612. In verse. "To the publique reader" and the following poem by William Rowley: p. [19]-[24]. Signatures: A-C⁴. Title in black border. Reproduction of original in the Harvard University. Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Henry Frederick, -- Prince of Wales, 1594-1612. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-06 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion GREAT Britaine , all in Blacke . FOR The incomparable losse of HENRY , our late worthy Prince . By Iohn Taylor . LONDON Printed by E.A. for I. Wright dwelling in Newgate Market , neere vnto Christs Church gate . 1612. HENRICVS PRINCEPS SEe here the portraite of that matcheles wight Whose valour paralel'd the God of fight : At Tilt , at Barriers , both with sword and speare He made his hopefull prowesse oft apeare : His shadow 's here , the world his substance misses That was this Isles Achilles and Vlisses . His soul 's inthroan'd aboue Heauen 's spangled frame , And earth 's adorn'd with his resounding fame . TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVLL AND MY MVCH ENDEERED FRIEND Sir Robert Dowglasse Knight . TO thee I consecrate these mourning lines Of Royall Henries sad vntimely hearse , For want of whom this Kingdom weeps & pines , With sighs and grones and eye-bedewing verse : I know his losse thy manly heart did pearce , And mongst thy woes , this woe exceeds the worst : I know thou rather had'st ( death's Iaueline fierce ) To saue his life , thy loyall heart had burst . But t is our fortunes and our fates accurst , Amid'st these daies of sorrow to suruiue ; And life 's vnpermanent all trustles trust Is fled from him who kept our hopes aliue : But let sweet patience subiugate your sorrow A heauy eu'ning brings a ioyfull morrow . Your Worships euer most obseqiuous . Iohn Taylor . GREAT Britaine all in Blacke . NOt any Poets all-reuiuing pen Can write vnparalel'd Prince Henries praise : Nor can their Muses call him backe againe : Whose liuing vertues shine ( like Titans raies ) Had I a quill of that Arabian wing That 's hatcht in embers of Sun-kindled fire , VVho to her selfe her selfe doth issue bring , And three in one , is Young , and Dam , and Sire . Oh that I could to Virgills veine aspire , Or Homers Verse , that golden languag'd Greeke , In polish'd Phrases I my lines would tire Into the depth of Art my Muse would seeke . Meane time she mongst the linguist Poets throngs , Although she want the help of Forraigne Tongs . To King IAMES . Since such great praise is due vnto the Frute , There 's greater laude belongs vnto the Tree : Then in thy Glory how can men be mute That knowes such Glorious Branches sprung from thee ? For if such honour to the Fruit we owe The Tree deserues more whence this Fruit did growe . To Queene ANNE . Thou fruitfull Vine , thou blessed-bearing Queene , From whome these Oliue Branches sprouts and springs ; Thou that by Heauen so Royaliz'd hast beene , To be Childe , Sister , and a Wife , to Kings : Long maist thou liue , that all the World may know Thou art the Stock whence Maiesty doth grow . To Prince CHARLES . Great Sonne of Greatnesse I the Heauens implore That heere thou maist haue long , and happy daies , That ere aboue the Skies thy Soule shall sore Thou maist atchiue thy famous Brothers praise , And when mongst Saints thy Father takes his seat , God make thee then great Britaines Charles the Great . To the Princesse ELIZABETH . Thou whome this Ile , and Nations neere and farre Admires for Angell-forme , and Saint-like minde , VVhose Vertues shine as doth a fixed Starre , From Thames vnto the farthest part of Inde . All Heauenly blessings raine on thee on Earth , And make thy fortunes Great as is thy Birth . To the Count PALATINE . Most mighty , all-beloued louely Lord , Warrs patterne , and a Patrone vnto Schollers : Great Brittaine doth a Iewell thee afford , More rich in price then all the Germane Dollers , Liue euer happy with thy ioyfull Gem In Earth , and in the new Ierusalem . TO GOD. Last vnto thee that art both First and Last , For his deere sake that conquer'd Death , and Hell , I doe beseech thee headlong downe to cast All Traytors ' gainst these Princes that rebell : Blott from thy Booke of life their impious Names That seeke subuersion of Monarking Iames. AEquinoques on the deceased Prince HENRIE . To write Great Britaines woe how am I able ? That hauing lost a peerelesse Princely Sonne , So wise , so graue , so stout , so amiable , Whose Vertues shin'd as did the mid daies Sunne , And did illustrate all our Hemispheare , Now all the world affoords not him his pheare . His Royall minde was euermore disposd , From vertue vnto vertue to accrue : On good deserts his bounty he disposde , Which made him follow'd by so braue a crue , That though himselfe was peerelesse , many a Peere , As his Attendants , daily did appeere . In him the Thundrers braine-borne daughter Pallas Had tane possession , as her natiue Clime : In him , and his terrestriall heau'nly Pallace VVas taught how men by vertuous deeds shall clime , So that although his yeeres were in their spring He was true honors fount and vallors spring . So firme , so stable , and so continent So wise , so valiant , and so truely chaste : That from his Microcosmos continent , All Heau'n abhorred hell-hatch'd lust was chac'd : He ran no vicious-vice-alluring race , To staine the glory of his Royall race . His soule from whence it came is gone againe , And earth hath tane , what did to earth belong : He whilome to this land was such a gaine , That mem'ry of his losse must needs be long . All states and sexes both the young and graue Laments his timeles going to his graue . Man murdring death , blind , cruell fierce and fell , How durst thou gripe him in thy meagre armes ? By thy rude stroake this Prince of Princes fell , Whose valour brau'd the mighty God of Armes : Right well in peace , he could of peace debate , Dreadles of dreadfull danger or debate . Robustious rawboand monster death , to teare From vs our happy hope we did enioy : And turne our many Ioyes to many a teare , VVho else might ioyfully haue liu'd in ioy : As wind on thousands all at once doth blow , By his deaths stroake so millions feeles the blow . Well could I wish , ( but wishing is in vaine ) That many millions , and amongst them I Had sluc'd the bloods from euery flowing veine , And vented floods of water from each eye : T' haue sau'd the life of this Maiesticke heire , VVould thousand soules had wandred in the ayre . But cease my Muse , thou farre vnworthy art To name his name , whose praise on high doth mount : Leaue , ( leaue I say ) this taske to men of Art , And let his soule rest in sweet Sions Mount. His Angell spright hath bid the world adue And earth hath claim'd his body as a due . Epitaphe . Heere under ground great HENRIES corps doth lye , If God were pleas'd , I would it were a lye . Iohn Taylor GREAT BRITAINES GREATEST WOE . OR AN Elegeicall Lamenting Poem , for the incomparable Losse of losses , of HENRIE our late hopefull PRINCE . SIghs , grones , and teares , assist my Muse to mourne His death , whose life all vertue did adorne : Whose aged wisedome , and whose youthfull age Was second vnto none , that 's wise or sage : So old in sapience , so young , so graue , To be transfer'd vnto his timelesse graue . Melpomene ( thou sad'st among the Muses ) Possesse my soule , and make mine eyes like sluces , ( Or like the restles torrents of the Thames ) To gush forth flouds of neuer-ending streames For this magnanimous heroicke Prince . Let euery one their mournefull faces rince , With brinish teares and bitter lamentation , And drowne their visage with the inundation . Let sighs , and grones , and teares this I le o're-flow , And ouer-whelme our hearts with flouds of woe : Let scalding sobs of this lamenting land , Raise stormes and tempests , vniuersall , and In this confusion make the world to droope , And highest hearted honor'd minds to stoope , And with deploring languor , hang the head , For losse of him that liues , and yet is dead . Let Britaines gronings , drowne Oake-cleauing thunder And fill the vaulty ayre with feare and wonder ; For hee that was the worlds admired Lampe , The life of Peace , of War , of Court , of Campe , Th' expected hope of blest ensuing time , Fell in his spring , and dide in golden prime . Thou happy I le , ordain'd to haplesse crosse , Thou neuer canst enough lament his losse : Thy hopes , and haps , were neuer lesse , nor more , A better good , or worser ill before , ( Then was the life or death of this deere Lord ) No memory , nor story doth record . Black valiant Edward that war-breathing Prince , Whose proued prowes did all France conuince , And in the iawes of death his foes did quell , Our Henry would haue beene his paralell . Ioue , Mars , and sweet Adonis were combinde In Henries forme , his force , and Royall minde . But now deaths Cloud eclips'd great Britaines Sunne , His rayes extinct , our springing hopes are done . Yee Esculapian Doctors , now giue ouer , Honour is dead , and neuer will recouer : Your Simples are but simple , and your drugges Are weake , when life and death for mastrie tugges : Despight your Antidotes and stone of Bezar , Death kills the Catife and the mighty Keisar . Your Vomits , Cordials , Euacuations , Your Bathes and your humidious Fomentations , Are forcelesse opposites , 'gainst greifly death , And all vnualued , in exchange of breath . But pardon me ( you famous men of Art ) I le not impeache your high esteem'd desart , Who are ordain'd by God to keepe mens liues In health and vigor with preseruatiues . We ought to honour the Phisition still , And hold in reuerence his admired skill . But yet if you by wit , by Art , or Nature Had had preseruing power to saue a creature , You should haue shew'd it in his preseruation , Who was the life and soule of this sad Nation . But ther 's no power externall nor internall , That can resist his will that is Supernall , Who rules and raignes , aboue the azur'd skies , And all things sees with his all-searching eyes : From his omnipotent Maiesticke Seate He saw the sinne of man was growne so great , That he audaciously dares spurne 'gainst Heau'n , And therefore from vs hath this Prince bereau'n : Depriuing him of a Terrestriall Throne , Exchanging it for an Immortall one : Where Kings , and Princes , Saints , and Martyrs sings Continuall Anthemes to the King of Kings . Thus God ( accounting him too good for Earth ) Hath giuen his Soule a glorious second birth : And as his state and vertues heere were great , Hee 's greater now , in his triumphant Seat : In that blest Kingdome of eternall rest , Where he for euer liues among the blest . Great Brittaine , thinke not but Almighty God Doth threaten Vengeance , with his awfull Rod : And that from vs this Prince he hath bereft , Before he drawes his sinne-consuming Shaft . He takes the good to his great Mercies dome , And leaues the wicked till his vengeance come . BVt all our hopes are yet not in dispaire ; For though the heau'ns containe great Britaines heire ( As knowing Earth vnworthy such a gemme ) Yet are there branches of that Royall stemme , That till the consummation of all things , I hope shall be this Ilands Queenes and Kings , In true succession alwaies to perseuer , To Rule and raigne for euer , and for euer , Not onely heere , ( where pompe is transitory ) But in the heauens in neuer ending glory . Vnto which praier , with heart , with tongue , and pen , Let all that loue saluation , say Amen . FINIS . Iohn Taylor . Epitaph . LIu's there a heart that could not riue in sunder , To see what all-deuouring Death hath donne Vnto that lou'ly Maiesties Great Sonne , Whose stately Corpes lies heere enclosed vnder . His fame that whilom like Iehouahs Thunder , Was mounted on the Aires all-filling Winde Agreeing well with his Heroick minde , Who Comet-like made all the world to wonder . Lo what Grim Death vntimely hath destroid : Curst be the Planet gouern'd at his Birth Who ( Traitor-like ) conspir'd to rob the earth Of such a hope as neuer men enioy'd . O could our teares , or bloods recall this doome , Millions would wash thee from thy Marble Toome . Ri : Leigh . Lament . Heu , heu , mortuis Lachrymae non prosunt . To the publique Reader . IN hast , thus , I now confesse these following Poemes were of my making : but I was condemn'd to be prest , before I would confesse . They are few : ( I would there had beene none ) the good subiect too soone offered the ill occasion . ( Heauens pleasure still put before ) Had I determined them for publique view , there had bene more , but being so little , I hope it cannot offend much : 't is more healthfull to rise vnsated then too much gorg'd , especially , at a funerall banquet . I professe diuinitie , but no teacher , therefore I write not diuinely : the florishes of high stil'd Poesie I likewise hold vnfit for so familiar a Christian subiect , therfore I forsake that onely in a smooth and low-bred method I haue couch't these few verses ( in mine own iudgement most proper , ) if it be not so , iudge you otherwise : they are vnpolish'd & I haue no time to correct them : read them the more distinctly , & that will somewhat better them ; how euer , take them . If they dislike thee , I much care not , since they haue in priuate pleas'd some good ones : and ther 's one whisper'd euen now in mine eare , and told me , Male opinentur de te homines , sed mali . William Rowley . To Prince CHARLES . PArdon ( dread Prince ) that I omit thy praise Amongst these driery , sad , and funerall layes : In stead of praise I 'le pray ; stand noble Stem Successor to a foure-fold Diadem . And may the Chronicle of thy great Name Triple old Nestor : take thy Brothers Fame , His Honors , titles , Vertues , and renowne , And multiplie their lustre with thine owne : ' Boue all take this ; may thy Age neuer see An Epicedion insculp't for thee . When e're thou front thy foes , let thy Fate runne In Caesars line , that neuer fought but wonne : Inherit all his glories , ( not his fall ) Heauen shield thee from the Romane Capitall . Whilst I haue breath , thus shall my duty sing , Be long a Prince before thou be a King : But being thron'd , thy Raigne haue ending neuer , Long Crown'd with Gold , & then with Stars for euer . To Griefe . GRiefe giue me leaue now to dis-bosome thee , Since all in vaine I keepe thee in my brest , Let some in smokie sighes condensed bee And with the winds be hurried in vnrest : But then diuide that part in moisture lyes , Let halfe fall from my pen , halfe from mine eyes . To Life . VVHy didst thou leaue a house , so faire , so sweet ? Earth has no more such earth to lodge thee in , Such a Tent Royall , such a Royall seat , As if thou neuer should'st haue weary bin . Shall I say ( life ) vnkind to leaue vs so ? O hadst thou stay'd , but to be bidden goe ! If honour could haue won thee , thou wert right ; If youth , thou had'st a louely mansion ; If Beauty , mixture of the Roses might , That kept all Britaine in an vnion . Could none of this ? pardon , I had forgot , Thou flie'st to Heauen , 'cause we deseru'd thee not . To Death : THou great Monopolist , that all the world Engrosest to thy selfe , wilt thou spare none ? Shall still thy mortall Iauelings forth be hurld VVith careles flight ? a million for one Thou might'st haue had : but ( Tyrant ) thou didst know To wound foure Kingdomes , at one deadly blow . Thou might'st haue had a sacrifice of teares , To stay thy cruell dart , the blow to breake : So many Seas , to buy so many yeares VVhen sicknes first did thy first sommons speake : O when that fearefull blaze gan first to flye , I knew a loyall subiect by his eye . To Death . Foe to thy selfe ( rash foole ) had hee liu'd still , Thou might'st haue march't with him into the field , And by his Royall side sated thy fill , ( Gods foes , and his , falling before his shield ) And being done , with triumphes in thy sting : Thou hast depos'd a Prince , to crowne him King. To the Graue . VNclaspe thy wombe , thou mortuary shrine , And take the worst part of the best we had , Thou hast no harborage for things diuine , That thou had'st any part was ( yet ) too bad . Graues , for the graue , are fit , vnfit for thee Was our sweet branche of youthfull Royalty . Thou must restore each Atom backe againe When that day comes , that stands beyond all night , His fame ( meane while ) shall here on earth remaine : Loe thus we haue diuided our delight . Heau'n keepes his spirit stel'd amongst the Iust , We keepe his memory , and thou his dust . An Epitaph . DId he dye young ? oh no , it could not be , For I know few that liu'd so long but he , Till God and all men lou'd him : then be bold ; That man that liues so long , must needs be old . To N●●●●●● IN Brazen records shall thy Fift day stand , Bad Scholler was the sixt , to learne to spill What once the Fift had sau'd , yet heauens command , Both wrought , one good , the other ( we say ) ill . When life had six daies labor'd in his brest : He kept his Saboth and lay downe and rest . To S. Iamses . STand like the ruynes of old Ilion , Loose thy canoniz'd name in our complaint , Be no more Iames : for wee 'l adore but one , Who long must be a King , at length a Saint . Be now cal'd nothing , but a heape of stone , Thy good name 's lost , for why thy Saint is gone . To the King. THou Royall Tree from whence the Roses spring , Vnder thy shades may Britaine euer sing : Right great and good , shew now thy Royall might , Though thy top branche be lop't , still grow vpright : Vnder thy greefe Britiane lyes sicke in paine , But when thou ioy'st , they 'l all sit vp againe . FINIS . 
A13456	----	The great eater, of Kent, or Part of the admirable teeth and stomacks exploits of Nicholas Wood, of Harrisom in the county of Kent His excessiue manner of eating without manners, in strange and true manner described, by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1630 Approx. 30 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 13 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-07 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13456 STC 23761 ESTC S118214 99853422 99853422 18805 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13456) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18805) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:13) The great eater, of Kent, or Part of the admirable teeth and stomacks exploits of Nicholas Wood, of Harrisom in the county of Kent His excessiue manner of eating without manners, in strange and true manner described, by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [4], 20 p. Printed by Elizabeth Allde, for Henry Gosson, and are to be sold on London Bridge, London : 1630. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Wood, Nicholas, -- of Harrison, Kent. Food habits -- England -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2003-03 SPi Global Rekeyed and resubmitted 2003-04 Olivia Bottum Sampled and proofread 2003-04 Olivia Bottum Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-06 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE GREAT EATER , OF KENT , OR PART OF THE ADMIRABLE TEETH AND Stomacks Exploits of Nicholas Wood , of Harrisom in the County of KENT . HIS EXCESSIVE MANNER OF EATING WITHOVT manners , in strange and true manner described , by Iohn Taylor . LONDON , Printed by ELIZABETH ALLDE , for Henry Gosson , and are to be sold on London Bridge . 1630. TO THE MOST FAMOVS , INFAMOVS , HIGH AND Mighty Feeder , Nicholas Wood , Great and Grand Gurmandizer of Harrisom in the County of Kent . MOst exorbitant Paunchmonger , I hauing taken much vnnecessary paines in writing these fewe collections of your deseruing Acts , in memory thereof haue erected this Monument of incke and paper . Herostratus was famous for burning the Temple of Diana in Ephesus : Dedalus for flying in the Ayre , and Leander for swimming ouer the Hellespontick sea : So by this small Treatise of your vertues , will your vnmatchable exploits be preserued to posterity , that time , or obliuion shall neuer eate out or deuoure the happy memory of your eating ; Yet ( not to flatter you ) though you are the absolutest man of mouth , and the most renowned stifgut in this Westerne Angle of the World , yet we haue as great or greater Faters then your selfe , which are scarcely thought vpon : there are some , that with the vnsauoury sawce of Enuy , will eate vp a mans name and reputation , and leaue nothing but the bones and scraps of infamy and scandall ; some eate vp whole Lordships without Mannours , and some deuoure Mannours and leaue nothing but bare Lordships : your exercise is onely for the Maw , and your Excellency consists totally in Crambo ; I haue done my best to please and pleasure you . And not knowing where to finde a fit Patron , I am bold to dedicate it to your digestion , wishing that your teeth & stomack may be euer sharpe-set , and that your meate may be wanting before your Appetite . Yours , He that not onely admire and wonders at you , but hath taken these insuing paines , to make the world anmire with him , IOHN TAYLOR . THE GREAT EATER OF KENT . REcords and Histories doe make memorable mention of the diuersitie of qualities of sundry famous persons , men and women , in all the Countries and Regions of the world , how some are remembred for their Piety and Pitty ; some for Iustice ; some for Seuerity , for Learning , Wisedome , Temperance , Constancie , Patience , with all the vertues Diuine , and morall : Some againe haue purchased a memory for Greatnesse and Talnesse of body ; some for Dwarfish smalnesse ; some for beautifull outsides , faire feature and composition of Limbs and stature ; many haue gotten an earthly perpetuity for cruelty and murther , as Nero , Commodus , and others : for Leachery , as Heliogabalus : for Drunkennesse , Tiberius , ( alias Biberius : ) for Effeminacy , as Sardanapalus : for Gluttony , Aulus Vitellius , who at one supper was serued with two thousand sorts of fishes , and seuen thousand fowles , as Suetonius writes in his ninth Booke , and Iosephus in his fifth Booke of the Iewes warres . Caligula was famous for Ambition , for hee would bee ador'd as a God , though he liu'd like a Deuill , poysoning his Vnkle and deflowring all his Sisters : And in all ages and Countries , time hath still produc'd particular persons , men & women , either for their vertues or their vices , to be remembred , that by meditating on the good , we may bee imitating their goodnesse , and by viewing the bad , we might be eschewing their vices . To descend lower to more familiar examples , I haue knowne a great man very expert on the Iewes-harpe ; a rich heire excellent at Noddy , a Iustice of the Peace skilfull at Quoytes ; a Marchants wife a quicke Gamester at Irish ( especially when she came to beating of men ) that she would seldome misse entring . Monsieur La Ferr a French-man , was the first inuentor of the admirable Game of Double-hand , Hot-cockles , & Gregorie Dawson an English man , deuised the vnmatchable mystery of Blind-man-buffe . Some haue the agility to ride Poast , some the facility to runne Poast ; some the dexterity to write Poast , and some the ability to speake poast : For I haue heard a fellow make a Hackney of his tongue , & in a moment he hath gallop'd a Lye from China to London , without Bridle or Saddle . Others doe speake poast , in a thicke shuffling kind of Ambling-trot , and that in such speede , that one of them shall talke more in one quarter of an houre , then shall be vnderstood in seuen yeeres . And as euery one hath particular qualities to themselues , and dissonant from others , so are the manners of liues ( or liuings ) of all men and women various one from another ; as some get their liuing by their tongues , as Interpreters , Lawyers , Oratours , and Flatterers ; some by tayles , as Maquerellaes , Concubines , Curtezanes , or in plaine English , Whores ; Some by their feete , as Dancers , Lackeyes , Foot-men , and Weauers , and Knights of the publicke or common order of the Forke ; Some by their braines , as Politicians , Monopolists , Proiectmongers , Suit-ioggers , and Stargazers ; Some ( like the Salamander ) liue by fire , as the whole Race of Tubalcaine , the Vulcanean Broode of Blacksmiths , fire-men , Colliers , Gunners , Gun-founders , and all sorts of mettle-men ; Some like the Cameleon , by the Ayre , and such are Poets , Trumpetters , Cornets , Recorders , Pipers , Bag-pipers ; and some by smoake , as Tobacconists , Knights of the Vapour , Gentlemen of the Whiffe , Esquires of the Pipe , Gallants in Fumo ; Some liue by the Water as Herrings doe , such are Brewers , Vintners , Dyers , Mariners , Fisher-men , and Scullers ; And many like Moles liue by the Earth , as griping Vsurers , racking Land-lords , toyling Plowmen , moyling Labourers , painefull Gardners , and others . Amongst all these before mentioned , and many more which I could recite , this subiect of my Pen is not ( for his qualitie ) inferiour to any : and as neere as I can , I will stretch my wit vpon the Tenters , to describe his name and Character , his worthy Actes shall be related after in due time duely . And , Be it knowne vnto all men , to whom these presents shall come , that I Iohn Taylor , Waterman of Saint Sauiours in Southwarke , in the County of Surrey , the Writer hereof , &c. will write plaine truth , bare and threed-bare , and almost starke-naked-truth , of the descriptions , and remarkable , memorable Actions of Nicholas Wood , of the Parish of Harrisom in the County of Kent , Yeoman , for these considerations following . First , I were to blame to write more then truth , because that which is knowne to be true , is enough . Secondly , that which is onely true , is too much . Thirdly , the truth will hardly be beleeued , being so much beyond mans reason to conceiue . Fourthly , I shall runne the hazzard to bee accounted a great lyer , in writing the truth . Lastly , I will not lye , on purpose to make all those lyers that esteeme me so . Yet by your leaue , Master Critick , you must giue me licence to flourish my Phrases , to embellish my lines , to adorne my Oratory , to embroder my speeches , to enterlace my words , to draw out my sayings , and to bumbaste the whole suite of the businesse for the time of your wearing . For though truth appeareth best bare in matters of Iustice , yet in this I hold it decent to attire her with such poore raggs as I haue , in stead of Robes . First then ; the place of his birth , and names of his parents are to me a meere Terra incognita , as farre from my knowledge , as content from a Vsurer , or honesty from a Bawde , but if hee be no Christian , the matter is not much , hee will serue well enough for a man of Kent ; and if his education had beene as his Feeding , it is euident he had been of most mighty breeding ; he hath gotten a foule name , but I know not if it came to him by Baptisme , for it is partly a Nick-name , which in the totall is Nicholas , I would abate him but a Saint , and call him Nicholas Shambles , and were the goodnesse of his purse answerable to the greatnesse of his appetite , out of all question , no man below the Moone would be a better customer to a shambles then he , for though he be chaste of his body , yet his minde is onely vpon flesh , he is the onely Tugmutton , or Muttonmonger betwixt Douer and Dunbarr : for hee hath eaten a whole Sheepe of sixteene shillings price , raw at one meale ( pardon me ) I thinke hee left the skin , the wooll , the hornes , and the bones : but what talke I of a Sheepe , when it is apparantly knowne , that he hath at one repast and with one dish , feasted his Carkas with all manner of meates ? All men will confesse that a Hogge will eate any thing , either fish , flesh , fowle , root , herbe , or excrement , and this same noble Nick Nicholas , or Nicholas Nick , hath made an end of a Hogge all at once , as if it had bin but a Rabbet sucker , and presently after , for fruit to recreate his palate , he hath swallowed three peckes of Damsons , thus ( Philosophically ) by way of a Chimicall Infusion , as a Hogge will eate all things that are to be eaten , so he in eating the Hogge , did in a manner of extraction distill all manner of meates thorow the Limbeck of his paunch . But hold a little , I would be loath to cloy my Reader with too much meate and fruit at once , so that after your Sheepe , Hogge and Damsons , I thinke it best to suffer you to pawse and picke your teeth ( if you haue any ) whilst I spend a few words more in Paraphrasing vpon his surname . Wood is his Appellation , Denomination , or how you please to tearme it Some of the ancient Philosophers haue compared man to a Tree with the bottome vpwards , whose roote is the Braine , the Armes Hands , Fingers , Legges , Feete and Toes , are the Limbs , and Branches , the comparison is very significant , many Trees doe bring forth good fruit , so doe some fewe men ; Some stately Trees growe high and faire , yet stand for nothing but shades , and some men grow high and lofty , yet are nothing but shaddows ; Some Trees are so malignant , that nothing can prosper vnder the compasse of their branches ; and some men are so vnlucky , that very few can thriue in their seruice . And as of one part of a Tree a Chaire of State may be made , and of another part a carued Image , and of a third part a stoole of office ; So men , being compounded and composed all of one mould and mettle , are different and disconsonant in estates , conditions , and qualities . Too many ( like the barren Fig-tree ) beare leaues of hypocrisie , but no fruites of Integrity , who serue onely for a flourish in this life , and a flame in that hereafter . So much for that : now to returne to my Theame of Wood , ( indeed this last disgression may make my Reader thinke that I could not see wood for trees ) what Wood he is , I know not , but by his face he should be Maple , or Crab-tree , and by his stomacke , sure he is heart of Oake ; some say he is a Meddler , but by his stature , he seemes like a low short Pine , and certaine I am , that hee is Popular , a well tymberd piece , or a store house for belly tymber . Now Gentlemen , as I haue walked you amongst the Trees , and thorow the Wood , I pray set downe , and take a taste or two more of this Banquet . What say you to the Leafe or Flecke of a Brawne new kild , to be of weight eight pound , and to be eaten hot out of the Bores belly raw ? much good doe you Gallants , was it not a glorious dish ? and presently after ( in stead of suckets , twelue raw puddings . I speake not one word of drinke all this while , for indeed he is no drunkard , hee abhorres that swinish vice : Alehouses , nor Tapsters cannot nick this Nick with froth , curtoll Cannes , tragicall blacke-pots , and double-dealing bumbasted Iugges , could neuer cheate him , for one Pinte of Beere or Ale is enough to wash downe a Hog , or water a Sheepe with him . Two Loynes of Mutton , and one Loyne of Veale were but as three Sprats to him : Once at Sir Warrham Saint Leigers house , and at Sir William Sydleyes he shewed himselfe so valiant of Teeth , and Stomacke , that hee ate as much as would well haue seru'd and suffic'd thirty men , so that his belly was like to turne bankerupt and breake , but that the Seruing-men turn'd him to the fire , and anoynted his paunch with Greace and Butter , to make it stretch and hold ; and afterwards being layd in bed , hee slept eight houres , and fasted all the while : which when the Knight vnderstood , he commanded him to be laid in the stocks , and there to endure as long time as he had laine bed rid with eating . Pompey the Great , Alexander the Great , Tamberlane the Great , Charlemagne or Charles the Great , Arthur the Great : all these gat the Title of Great , for conquering Kingdomes , and killing of men ; and surely eating is not a greater sinne then rapine , theft , manslaughter and murther . Therefore this noble Eatalian doth well deserue the Tytle of Great : wherefore I instile him Nicholas the Great ( Eater : ) And as these forenamed Greats haue ouerthrowne and wasted Countreyes , and Hosts of men , with the helpe of their Soldiers and followers ; so hath our Nick the Great , ( in his owne person ) without the helpe or ayde of any man , ouercome , conquered , and deuouted in one weeke , as much as would haue sufficed a reasonable and sufficient Army in a day , for hee hath at one meale made an assault vpon seuen dozen of good Rabbets at the Lord Wootons in Kent , which in the totall is foure-score , which number would well haue suffic'd a hundred , three-score and eight hungry Soldiers , allowing to each of them halfe a Rabbet . Bell , the famous Idoll of the Babylonians , was a meere imposture , a Iuggling toye , and a cheating bable , in comparison of this Nicholaitan , Kentish Tenterbelly , the high and mighty Duke All-paunch , was but a fiction to him . Milo the Crotonian could hardly be his equall : and Woolner of Windsor was not worthy to bee his foot-man . A quarter of fat Lambe , and three-score Eggs haue beene but an easie colation , and three well larded Pudding-pyes he hath at one time put to foyle , eighteene yards of blacke Puddings ( London measure ) haue suddenly beene imprisoned in his sowse-tub . A Ducke raw with guts , feathers , and all ( except the bill & the long feathers of the wings ) hath swomme in the whirlepole or pond of his mawe , and he told me , that three-score pound of Cherries was but a kind of washing meate , and that there was no tacke in them , for hee had tride it at one time . But one Iohn Dale was too hard for him at a place called Lennam , for the said Dale had laid a wager that he would fill Woods belly , with good wholesome victuals for 2. shillings , & a Gentleman that laid the contrary , did wager , that as soone as noble Nick had eaten out Dales 2. shillings , that he should presently enter combate with a worthy Knight , called Sir Loyne of Beefe , & ouerthrow him ; in conclusion , Dale bought 6. pots of potent , high , and mighty Ale , and twelue new penny white loaues , which hee sop'd in the said Ale , the powerfull fume whereof , conquer'd the conqueror , rob'd him of his reason , bereft him of his wit , violently tooke away his stomacke , intoxicated his ●i●mater , & entred the Sconce of his Pericranion , blinde folded him with sleep ; setting a nap of nine houres for manacles vpon his threed-bare eyelids , to the preseruation of the rost Beefe , and the vnexpected winning of the wager . This inuincible Ale , victoriously vanquish'd the vanquisher , and ouer our Great Triumpher , was Triumphant : But there are presidents enow of as potent men as our Nicholas , that haue subdued Kings and Kingdomes , and yet they themselues haue beene captiu'd and conquer'd by drinke ; wee need recite no more examples but the Great Alexander , and Holophernes , their ambition was boundlesse , and so is the stomacke of my Pens subiect , for all the foure Elements cannot cloy him , fish from the deepest Ocean , or purest Riuer , fairest Pond , foulest Ditch , or dirtiest puddle . he hath a receite for Fowle of all sorts , from the Wren to the Eagle , from the Titmouse to the Estrich , or Cassawaraway , his paunch is either a Coope or a Roost for them : He hath ( within himselfe ) a stall for the Oxe , a roome for the Cow , a stye for the Hogge , a Parke for the Deere , a warren for Coneies , a store-house for fruit , a dayery for Milke , Creame , Curds , Whay , Butter-milke , and Cheese : his mouth is a Mill of perpetuall motion , for let the wind or the water rise or fall , yet his teeth will euer bee grinding ; his guts are the Rendez-vous or meeting place or Burse for the Beasts of the fields , the Fowles of the Ayre , and Fishes of the Sea ; and though they be neuer so wild or disagreeing in Nature , one to another , yet hee binds or grindes them to the peace , in such manner , that they neuer fall at odds againe . His eating of a Sheepe , a Hog , and a Duck raw , doth shew that he is free from the sinne of nicenesse or his curiosity in Dyet . ( It had beene happy for the poore , if their stomacks had beene of that constitution , when seacoales were so deare here . ) Besides , he neuer troubles a Larder , or Cupboord to lay cold meate in , nor doth he keepe any Cats or Traps in his house to destroy vermin , he takes so good a course , that he layes or shuts vp all safe within himselfe ; in briefe , giue him meate , and he ne'r stands vpon the cookery , he cares not for the Peacocke of Samos , the Woodcock of Phrygia , the Cranes of Malta , the Pheasants of England , the Caperkelly , the Heathcocke , and Termagant of Scotland , the Goate of Wales , the Salmon , and Vsquabah of Ireland , the Sawsedge of Bolognia , the Skink of Westphalia , the Spanish Potato , he holds as a bable , and the Italian Figge he esteemes as poyson . He is an English man , and English dyet will serue his turne . If the Norfolk Dumplin , and the Deuonshire White-pot , be at variance , he will atone them , the Bag-puadings of Gloucester shire , the Blacke-puddings of Worcester shire , the Pan puddings of Shropshire , the White puddings of Somersetshire , the Hasty-puddings of Hamshire , and the Pudding-pyes of any shire , all is one to him , nothing comes amisse , a contented mind is worth all , and let any thing come in the shape of fodder , or eating stuffe , it is welcome , whether it bee Sawsedge , or Custard , or Eg-pye , or Cheese-cake , or Plawne , or Foole , or Froyze , or Tanzy , or Pancake , or Fritter , or Flap-iacke , or Posset , Galley-mawfrey , Mackeroone , Kickshaw , or Tantablin , he is no puling Meacocke , nor in all his life time the queafinesse of his stomacke needed any sawcy spurre or switch of sowre Vertuice , or acute Vinegar , his appetite is no straggler , nor is it euer to seeke , for he keepes it close prisoner , and like a courteous kind Iaylour , he is very tender ouer it , not suffering it to want any thing if he can by any meanes procure it : indeede it was neuer knowne to be so farre out of reparations , that it needed the assistance of Cawdle , Alebery , Iulep , Cullisse , Grewell , or stewd-broth , onely a messe of plaine frugall Countrey Pottage was alwayes sufficient for him , though it were but a washing-bowle full , of the quantity of two pecks , which porrenger of his , I my selfe saw at the signe of the white Lyon at a Village called Harrisom in Kent , the Hostesse of which house did affirme , that hee did at once wash downe that Bowle full of pottage , with nine penny loaues of bread , and three Iugges of Beere . Indeed , in my presence ( after he had broken his fast ) hauing ( as he said ) eaten one pottle of milke , one pottle of pottage , with bread , butter , and cheese : I then sent for him , to the aforesaid Inne , and after some accomodated salutations , I asked him if hee could eate any thing ? He gaue me thankes , and said , that if he had knowne , that any Gentleman would haue inuited him , that he would haue spared his breakefast at home , ( and with that he told me as aforesaid , what he had eaten ) yet neuerthelesse ( to doe me a courtesie ) he would shew me some small cast of his office , for he had one hole or corner in the profundity of his store-house , into which he would stow and bestow any thing that the house would afford , at his perill and my cost . Whereupon I summoned my Hostesse with three knocks vpon the Table , two stamps on the floore , with my fist and foot , at which shee made her personall appearance with a low Curtsie , and an inquisitiue What lacke ye ? I presently laid the authority of a bold Guest vpon her , commanding that all the victuals in the house should be laid on the Table . She said , she was but slenderly prouided , by reason goodman Wood was there , but what she had , or could doe , wee should presently haue : so the cloth was displaid , the salt was aduanc'd , sixe penny wheaten loaues were mounted two stories high like a Rampier , three sixe-penny Veale pyes , wall'd stiffly about , and well victual'd within , were presented to the hazzard of the Scalado , one pound of sweet butter ( being all fat and no bones ) was in a cold sweat at this mighty preparation , one good dish of Thorneback , white as Alabaster or the Snow vpon the Scithian mountaines , and in the Reare came vp an inch thick shyuer of a Peck house-hold loafe ; all which prouision were presently , in the space of an houre vtterly confounded , and brought to nothing , by the meere and onely valourous dexterity of our vnmatchable grand Gurmound . He couragiously past the Pikes , and I cleared the shot , but the house yeelded no more , so that my Guest arose vnsatisfied , and my selfe discontented in being thrifty and sauing my money against my will. I did there offer him twenty shillings to bring him vp to me to my house on the Bank-side , and there I would haue giuen him as much good meate , as he would eate in tenne dayes , one after another , & fiue shillings a day euery day , and at the tenne dayes end , twenty shillings more , to bring him downe againe . I did also offer tenne shillings to one Ieremy Robinson a Glouer ( a man very inward with him ) to attend and keepe him company , and two shillings six pence the day , with good dyet and lodging : all which were once accepted , vntill Wood began to ruminate and examine what seruice he was to doe , for these large allowances . Now my plot was to haue him to the Beare-garden , and there before a house full of people , he should haue eaten a wheele barrow full of Tripes , and the next day , as many puddings as should reach ouer the Thames ( at a place which I would measure betwixt London and Richmond ) the third day , I would haue allowed him a fat Calfe , or Sheepe of twenty shillings price , and the fourth day he should haue had thirty Sheepes Geathers , thus from day to day , he should haue had wages & dyet with variety ; but he fearing that which his merits would amount vnto , brake off the match , saving , that perhaps when his Grace , ( I guesse who he meant ) should heare of one that ate so much , and could worke so little , he doubted there would come a command to hang him : whereupon our hopefull Beare-garden busines was shiuerd , and shatterd in pieces . Indeed hee made a doubt of his expected performance in his quality , by reason of his being growne in yeeres , so that if his stomack should faile him publikely , and lay his reputation in the mire , it might haue beene a disparagement to him for euer , and especially in Kent , where he hath long beene famous , hee would be loth to be defamed ; But as weake as he was , he said , that he could make a shift to destroy a fat Weather of a pound in two houres , prouided that it were tenderly boild , for he hath lost all his teeth ( except one ) in eating a quarter of Mutton , ( bones and all ) at Ashford in the County aforesaid , yet is he very quicke and nimble in his feeding , and will ridde more Eating worke away in two houres , then tenne of the hungriest Carters in the Parish where he dwells . He is surely noble ( for his great Stomacke ) and vertuous , chiefely for his patience in putting vp much ; moreoeuer he is thrifty or frugall , for when he can get no better meate , he will eate Oxe Liuers , or a messe of warme Ale-graines from a Brew-house . He is prouident and studious where to get more prouision as soone as all is spent , and yet hee is bountifull or prodigall in spending all hee hath at once : hee is profitable in keeping bread and meate from mould and Maggots , and sauing the charge of salt , for his appetite will not waite and attend the poudring ; his courtesie is manifest , for he had rather haue one Farewel then twenty Godbwyes : Of all things , hee holds fasting to be a most superstitious branch of Popery , he is a maine enemy to Ember weekes , he hates Lent worse then a Butcher or a Puritan , and the name of Good-friday affrights him like a Bulbegger ; a long Grace before meate , strikes him into a Quotidian Ague ; in a word , hee could wish that Christmas would dwell with vs all the yeere , or that euery day were metamorphoz'd into Shrouetuesdayes ; in briefe , he is a Magazine , a store-house , a Receptacle , a Burse , or Exchange , a Babel or confusion for all Creatures . Hee is no Gamester , neither at Dice , or Cards , yet there is not any man within forty miles of his head , that can play with him at Maw , and though his pasture be neuer so good , he is alwayes like one of Pharaohs leane Kine ; he is swarty , blackish haire , Hawk-nosed ( like a Parrot , or a Roman ) hee is wattle-Iawde , and his eyes are sunke inward , as if hee looked into the inside of his intrayles , to note what custom'd or vncustom'd goods he tooke in , whilst his belly ( like a Maine-sayle in a calme ) hangs ruffled and wrinkled ( in folds and wreathes ) flat to the mast of his empty carkasse , till the storme of aboundance fills it , and violently driues it into the full sea of satisfaction , LIke as a Riuer to the Ocean bounds , Or as a Garden to all Britaines grounds , Or like a Candle to a flaming Linck , Or as a single Ace , vnto Sise Cinque : So short am I of what Nick Wood hath done , That hauing ended , I haue scarce begun : For I haue written but a taste in this , To shew my Readers where , and what he is . POSTSCRIPT . THou that putst down the Mault below the wheat , That dost not eate to liue , but liue to eate : Thou that the Sea-Whale , and Land Wolfe excels : A foe to Bachus , Champion of god Bels : I wish if any foreine foes intend Our famous I le of Britaine to offend , That each of them had Stomacks like to thee , That of each other they deuour'd might bee . Some haue drunke healths at once ( to purchase fames ) As there are letters in their Mistris names , Others there are , that drinke by rub and square , And sound round drinkers there aboundance are , These barely goe with making Barly deare , And cunningly transforme themselues to Beere , Or potent Ale , or Iuice of French or Spanish , Or Smoake , ( which Time and Coyne doth banish : ) These are the sleights that halfe the world inchants , These are the principles of woes and wants : But thou art free from drinking by the great , Meat is for men , and thou wer 't made to eate . Though Maximinus , Romes great Emperour , Did forty pound of flesh each day deuoure , Albinus th'Emperour did him surpasse , Fiue hundred Figges by him downe swallow'd was , Of Peaches he consum'd one hundred more , Of great Musckmellons also halfe a score , One hundred Birds , all at one meale he cast Into his paunch , at breaking of his fast . Pago surpassed both these two together , A Bore , a hundred loaues , a Pigge , a Weather , All this the Rascall swallow'd at a meale , ( If Writers in their writing , true doe deale . ) But sure I am , that what of thee is writ , Is sure ( although not all the truth , or halfe of it : ) Thou dost exceed all that our age e're saw , Thou potent , high , and mighty men of maw . FINIS 
A13457	----	The great O Toole Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1622 Approx. 22 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 12 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13457 STC 23762 ESTC S118219 99853427 99853427 18810 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13457) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18810) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1498:4) The great O Toole Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [24] p. Printed [by Edward Allde] for Henry Gosson, London : 1622. "In memorabilis effigies", A1v, signed: Iohn Taylor. In verse. Printer's name from STC. Signatures: A B⁴. Running title reads: To the honour of Otoole. The last leaf is blank. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. With a facsimile portrait of O'Toole. Print show-through. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng O'Toole, Arthur Severus -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-06 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion In Memorabilis Effigies . VEiw and behold his Monumentall Pictor , Whose trade was Armes , whose Fortune still was Victor : Looke on Truncheon how it is becrowned , By which you may perceiue how hee 's Renowned . His Beard , a Graue bush ( Naturally fitted ) Shewes by the store of hayre how he is witted . And howsoeuer Times or Seasons change-thinges , This Captaine very truely hath done strange-thinges ; Whilst some ( perhaps ) will say these lines do scoffe him , Read what the Inside of the Booke speakes of him . Iohn Taylor . These 8. Lines by an vnknowne Author . GReat Moguls Landlord , and both Indies King , ( Whose selfe admiring Fame doth lowdly Ring ) Writes 4. score yeares : More Kingdomes he hath right to The Stars say so . And for them he will Fight too . And though this worthlesse Age will not belieue him , But clatter , spatter , slaunder , scoffe and grieue him , Yet hee and all the world in this agree , That such another TOOLE , will neuer bee . ARTHURUS SEVERUS O-TOOLE NONESUCH : AEtatis 80. Great Mogul's Landlord ; of both Indies King , Whose self-admiring fame doth loudly ring ; Writes fourscore Years , more Kingdoms he hath right to , for them he will fight too : And though this worthless Age , will not believe him , But clatter , spatter , slander , scoff , to grieve him Yet He and all the World in this agree , That such another Toole will never be . THE GREAT O Toole . ENglands , Scotlands , Irelands Mirror , Mars his fellow , Rebels Terror : These Lines doe gallop for their pleasure , Writ with neither feete or measure ; Because Prose , Verse , or Anticke Story , Cannot Blaze O Tooles great Glory . LONDON . Printed for Henry Gosson . 1622. AN ENCOMIVM OR ENCO-MI-ASS-TRICK , dedicated to the vnlimited memory of Arthur O Toole , or O Toole the Great : Being the Son and Heyre of Brian O Toole , Lord of Poores Court and farre Collen , in the County of Dublin , in the Kingdome of Ireland . The Mars and Mercury , the Agamemnon and Vlisses both for Wisedome and Valour , in the Kingdomes of Great Britaine and Ireland . Prologue . BRaue Vsquebough that fierce Hibernian liquor , Assist my braine , and make my wit run quicker : To heate my Muse like to a well warm'd Chimney , I beg thy merry ayde kinde Polihimny . I list not to call Fables into question , Nor of Baboones , or idle b●bles jest I on : And yet if Sence or reason heere you looke for , For neither , or for either read this Booke for . And if perchance I doe in any word lye , Doe , as I writ it , reade it o're absurdly ; Though in these dayes there are a Crew of fond men , That for inuention striue to goe beyond men , And write so humerous Dogmaticall , To please my Lord and Lady what d' ee Call , With Inkehorne tearmes stiffe quilted and bumbasted , And ( though not vnderstood ) yet are well tasted . And therefore I le not reach beyond the bounds of My weake capacity , nor search the sounds of Deepe Natures secrets , or Arts spacious cirquit : My Muse is free from those , my selfe will her quit . But leauing Idle toyes , with toyle endure I on , To write the praise of this braue bolde Centurion . The Argument and meaning , of this following History . IN all Ages and Countryes , it hath euer bin knowne , that Famous men haue florished , whose worthy Actions , and Eminency of place , haue euer beene as conspicuous Beacons Burning and blazing to the Spectators view : the sparkes & flames wherof hath sometimes kindled Courage in the most coldest and Effeminate Cowards ; as Thersites amongst the Grecians , Amadis de Gaule , and Sir Huon of Burdeaux in France , Sir Beuis , Gogmagog , Chinon , Palmerine , Lancelot , & Sir Tristram amongst vs heere in England , Sir Degre , Sir Grime , and Sir Gray Steele in Scotland , Don Quixot with the Spaniards , Gargantua almost no where , Sir Dagonet , and Sir Triamore any where , all these , and many more of the like Ranke haue fill'd whole Volumes , with the ayrie Imaginations of their vnknowne and vnmatchable worthes ; So Ireland amongst the rest , had the Honor to produce and breed a sparke of Valour , Wisedome , and Magnanimity , to whom all the Nation of the World must giue place . The Great O Toole , is the toole that my Muse takes in hand , whose praises ( if they should be set forth to the full ) would make Apollo and the Muses Barren ; To whom the Nine Worthyes were neuer to be compared : betwixt whom , and Haniball , Scipio , the Great Pompey , or Tamberlaine , was such oddes , that it was vnfit the best of them should holde his stirrop , and who ( by his owne Report ) in whome Ireland may reioyce , and England be merry , whose Youth was Dedicated to Mars , and his Age to Westminster , which ancient Citty , is now honour'd with his beloued Residence . ¶ To the Honor of the Noble Captaine O Toole . THou Famous man , Est , west , & North , & Southward , From Boreas colde rump , t' Austers slauering mouth ward , I call Apolloes daughters all , to witnes , Much would I praise thee , but my Wit wants fitnes . But thou thy selfe ( of thy selfe ) canst speake so-well , That though my Rimes not altogether goe-well , Yet if the Worlds applause would not attend thee , were all tongues mute , thy own tongue would commend thee Thy selfe ( vnto thy selfe ) art Fames Trump blasting , To make thy name ( like Buffe ) tough , long and lasting . Yet graunt me ( thou braue man that ne're feard coulers ) T' accept the poore Lines of an Artles Scullers . Thy Bilboe ofte bath'd in the blood of Foe mans , Like Caius Marius , Consull of the Romans : When thou hast seem'd more dreadfull in thy harnesse , Then Babels Generall great Holophernes , More in commaund then was Nabuchadnezar , And more renownd then Cayus Iulius Caesar : Vpon thy foes brest thou hast often troad free , As on the Pagans did braue Boloignes Godfrey . Fierce Methridates the stout King of Pontus , If thou dost lead vs , dares not to confront vs : Thy matchles vallour , ten to one more tride is , Then euer was the Libian strong Alcides : And all men know that neuer such an od piece Of fighting mettle , sprung from Mars his Codpiece . Vpon the maine land and the raging Ocean , Thy courage hath attaind thee high promotion . Thou neuer fear'dst to combate with Gargante , Thy fame 's beyond the battle of Lepanto . The mighty Alexander of Macedo , Nere fought as thou hast done with thy Toledo . We hold thee for a worthy and no base one , But one that could haue won the fleece from Iason : Thou durst oppose 'gainst Bore , Beare Wolfe or Lion , And from the torturing wheele to fetch Ixion , And I acknowledge that thy matchles vallour is , To kill Pasiphaes or the Bull of Phalleris , Though age hath ouertane thee , yet thy will is , To grapple with an Aiax or Achilles , Or with Hells Monarch enuious ill fac'd Pluto , And proue him by his hornes a dambd Cornuto . Thou fearst no Diuell , nor no Demogorgon , Nor yet the valiant Welchman Shon a Morgan : So that most Wizards and most fortune tellers , Approue thee for the greatst of Monster quellers : And absolute and potent Dominator , For War or Counsell both by land and Water , In times of tumult thou amongst the Irish , Hast made them skip ore bogs and quagmires mirish , Whilst in the pursuit , like an angry Dragon , Thou mad'st them run away with not a rag on . For had thy foes bin Thousands , with thy Pistall , And thy good sword , thou brauely wouldst Resist all . Thou wast to vs , as vnto Rome was Titus , And stoutly sent our foes to black Cocitus . To kill , and cut throats , thou art skild in that trick , As if thou wert the Champion to Saint Patrick : I know not to which worthy to compare thee , For were they liuing , they could not out-dare thee . To thee what was great Tamberlaine the Tartar , Or matcht with thee what was our Brittaine Arthur ? Great Haniball , that famous Carthaginean , Was not a mate for thee in mine opinion , And all Seuerus vertues , sum'd vp totall , Remaine in thee , if this blinde Age would note all . Thou shewdst thy selfe a doughty wight at Dublin , When Irish Rebells madly brought the trouble in : At Baltimore , Kinsale , at Corke , and Yoghall , Thou with thy power hast made them oft cry fogh all , Oft in thy rage , thou hast most madly Ran on , The burning mouth of the cumbustious Cannon . For in thy fury , thou hast oft beene hotter , More swifter then an Ambler , or a Trotter , As witnes can the bounds of fierce Tirconnell , and the rough Bickerings with the stout Odonnell . The slaues did scud before thee o're the Quagmires : Where many a warlike Horse & many a Nagge mires : Thou kildst the gammon visag'd poore Westphalians , The Al-to-totterd , torne Tatterdemalians : The broaging , roaging , brauling , base Bezonians : The swift foot , light heeld , run away Slauonians , Thou letst them haue no ground to stand or walke on , But made them flye as Doues doe from a Falcon. For if thou list in fight to leade a Band on , Thy slaughtering sword if thou but layst thy hand on Thy fearefull foes would straight the place abandon , Without or hose , or shooes , shirt , or a band on : Thou letst them haue no quiet place to stand on . By tongue or pen it cannot well be verifide , How many hundred thousands thou hast terrifide , For thou hast rac'd more Castles , forts and Garrisons , Beyond Arithmeticke , and past comparisons : The Prouerbe sayes Comparisons are odious , I 'le therefore leaue them being incomodious , In all thy actions thou hast beene impartiall , Accomodating thy designes as Martiall , In mortall Battells and in bruising battery , Thy eares would entertain no smooth tongu'd flattery , That though to all men thy exploits seem'd very od , Thou broughst them still to an auspitious Period . And as thy valour durst out-dare bold Hector , Like wise Vlisses thou canst speake a Lector Such pollicies thy wits mint could deuise on , Which wiser pates could neuer once surmise on : With many a hundred neuer heard of Stratagem , Thou hast got pretious honour , is not that a Iem ? What tricks , or slights of war so ere the foe meant , Thou canst descry and frustrate in a moment . Vpon his Wisedome , and Pollicy . OF thy Heroick acts , there might be more said , For sure they are but slightly toucht aforesaid , But Gods or Muses , Men , or Fiends infernall , To blaze thee to thy worth , can nere discerne all : And should I write but halfe that I know of thee , Some Critticks would perswade thee I did scoffe thee . Thus hauing shewd thy vallour , now I le expound , Part of thy pollicies , and wisedome profound . Vnfellowed , and vnfollowed , and vnmatched , Are the rare sleights that in thy pate were hatched : Of Engines , Mines , of Counterscarphs and Trenches , And to keepe cleare the Camp from whoring wenches : To teach the Soldiers eate frogges , snailes and vermine , Such Stratagems as these thou couldst determine . That Cato , Plato , or Aurelius Marcus , Wise Socrates , or reuerend Aristarcus , Diogenes , or wise Pithagoras , Licurgus , Pliny , Anaxagoras , Archidamus of Greece , or Romane Tully , Could nere demonstrate Sapience more fully . And specially when there was any trouble like , To vexe , molest , or trouble the Republike . That wit with valour , valour ioynd with wisdome , From all the world thou hast attained this doome : To be wars Abstract , Counsells Catechiser , That canst direct all , and all scarce the wiser . A Complaint and a Petition to him . THus thou of Yore hast followed great Belona , And shin'd in Armes like twins of bright Latona : But now those manly martiall dayes are gone . A Time of Cheating , sweating , drinking , drabbing , Of Burst gut feeding and inhumane stabbing , The Spanish Pip. or else the Galtan Morbus , Bone-bred diseases , mainely doe disturbe vs : That now more men by ryot are confounded , Then valiant Soldiers in the wars were wounded . Mars yeelds to Venus , Gown-men rules the roast now , And men of War may fast , or kisse the post now . The thundring Cannon and the rumbling Drum now , The Instruments of War are mute and dumbe now , And stout experienc't valiant Commanders , Are turn'd Saint Nicholas Clarks & high way standers . And some ( through want ) are turn'd base Pimps & Panders , The watchfull Corporall , and the Lansprezado Are Marchants turn'd , of smoaky Trinidado . His shop , ( a fadome compasse ) now containes him , Where midst the misty vapours he complaines him , That he who hath made Forts and Castles caper Liues now Camelion-like , by Ayre and Vaper . Whilst fooles & flatterers thriue , it greatly grieues him , When all Trades fayle , Tobacco last relieues him . Besides each day some hound-like senting Sergeant . Scoutes , gapes , pries , peyes , & tires on him for argeant : And Longlane Dogditch , dambd soule wanting Brokers The Common wealths bane & poore mens vnclokers , The Countries Spunges , and the Citties soakers , The Peaces Pestilence , and Warriours choakers . These beate their hogs-heads all , to try conclusions By base extorting , working our confusions . The Souldiers naked , by the Broakers bribing , The Scriuener liues braue by sophisticke scribing The slaues growe rich ( and 't is not to be wondred ) By taking Forty intrest for a hundred . And Nasty Beadles with their breath contaminous , With what are you , and who goe there examine vs : With hums and hawes , Sir reuerence , nods & becking , With senceles nonsence , checkes and Counter checking : The brownbild Rug-gownd bench doe thinke it fitting To exercise their Office , by committing , Where our expence , with Ale their faces varnish , Whilest we incounterd , pay fines , fees and garnish . And Tyburne , Wapping , and St. Thomas Watrings , Poore Soldiers ends to euery neighbouring State rings . Whilst lowzy Ballad-mongers gape and looke out , To set some Riming song , or Roging Booke out , Where more then all is 'gainst the dead imputed , By which meanes men are doubly executed : That sure the Gallowes hath eate vp more Pe — ople , Then would subdue and win Constantinople . O rouze thee , rouze thee , then braue man of Action , Make Fur-gown'd peace burst into Armed faction : Thou hast a pate that canst the State vnsettle , Be as thou hast beene then , a man of mettle And now base Cowardize doth seeme to rust vs , Into some worthy busines , quickly thrust vs , Now shew thy selfe a noble Ahashuerus , And once more make our brauing foes to feare vs , Doe thou but leade vs on , and looke but Grimly And make no doubt , wee le doe the busines trimly . Mongst all the tooles of warre , be thou great O Toole , And neuer let the world esteeme thee no Foole. O make the wheele of reeling State , and Fate turne In spight of sullen melancholly Saturne To Armes , but from the Armes of lustfull Venus I doe entreat thy warlike care to weane vs. Let not the prick-eard power , of proude Priapus In bonds of painted Curtezans intrap vs , And Rouze vs from our Acts and thoughts libidinous , That ( Traytor-like ) in ambush doe lye hid in vs. Let not thy Tents of worthles Martiall discipline , Be turn'd to stinking Tap-houses to tipple in : But make the freezing pot of num-cold war-boyle , And bubble to a hurly burly Garboyle : Doe as thou hast done oft most noble Spartan , Strike silken peace into a feauer Quartane ; Or else like Phoebus in his hot Meridian , Astonish all the world with a Quotidian . I know thy worth the world doth all admire on , Then clad thy selfe in burnisht steele and Yron . I know that all men knowes thou hast been tride well , Discreetly thou canst talke , fight , run and ride well , I know the reach of thy polliticke skull , can Plucke rugged Mars from out the bed of Vulcan , To make warre roare more loude then any Bull can , I know thou canst doe more then any Gull can . I know thou hold'st it Valours ignominy . To spend thy dayes in peacefull whip her Ginny . Thy name & voyce , more fear'd then Guy of Warwicke , Or the rough Rumbling , roaring Meg of Barwicke . We should doe some what , if wee once were Rouzed , And ( being Lowsie ) we might then be Lowsed . Encourage Souldiers to demeane them like men , And measure Veluet with their Pikes braue Pikemen . Let shouts & clamors , Woods , groues , dales , & hils fill , With dreadfull noyse & cries of follow , follow , kill , kill , Let Drums cry dub , dub , and let Cannons thunder , Tantara Trumpets , and let Cowards wonder : Let Musquets bounce , bounce , let the Welkin rumble , Let Townes , Turrets , topsituruy tumble , Doe this ( as well I know thou canst doo 't wisely ) Exceeding careles , feareles and precisely , And then thy Fame shall farther farre be noysed , Then Titans rayes , or Iustice scales are poysed . And since thou knowest mans time on earth is short all , Let mortall Actions make thy name Immortall . Lenuoy . IVdge O you Gentiles , what is writ is probable , And though it seeme a bable , yet 't is no bable . Doome amongst ill tinges , that the best is meant all , And what 's amisse , pray take as accidentall , For like a puny practizing Astronomy , And knowes no grounds nor rules so far o'regon am I : In diuing to his valours whirlepit bottome , That like the Reuerend Sages of olde Gotam , I now perceiue how much I ouershot am : I 'le wade no further in 't , but in briefe breuity , Abrupt , absurd , abiect , thus cast thus leaue it I. These forc'd Rimes , fully stuft with fruitlesse labour , Hath Curried my poore braine-pan like a Tabor : And to recure me from this strange quandary , Hence Vsquebaugh , and welcome sweet Canary . FINIS . 
A13458	----	Heauens blessing, and earths ioy. Or a true relation, of the supposed sea-fights & fire-workes, as were accomplished, before the royall celebration, of the al-beloved mariage, of the two peerlesse paragons of Christendome, Fredericke & Elizabeth With triumphall encomiasticke verses, consecrated to the immortall memory of those happy and blessed nuptials. By Iohn Taylor, Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1613 Approx. 42 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 19 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13458 STC 23763 ESTC S102445 99838230 99838230 2597 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13458) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 2597) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1085:15) Heauens blessing, and earths ioy. Or a true relation, of the supposed sea-fights & fire-workes, as were accomplished, before the royall celebration, of the al-beloved mariage, of the two peerlesse paragons of Christendome, Fredericke & Elizabeth With triumphall encomiasticke verses, consecrated to the immortall memory of those happy and blessed nuptials. By Iohn Taylor, Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [34] p. : ill. [By E. Allde] for Ioseph Hunt [and H. Gosson], and are to be solde [by I. Wright, Imprinted at London : 1613] Printer and booksellers' names from STC. "Epithaleamies. 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After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Frederick -- I, -- King of Bohemia, 1596-1632 -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. Elizabeth, -- Queen, consort of Frederick I, King of Bohemia, 1596-1662 -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-09 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-09 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Heauens Blessing , And Earths Ioy. OR A true relation , of the supposed Sea-fights & Fire-workes , as were accomplished , before the Royall Celebration , of the al-beloved Mariage , of the two peerlesse Paragons of Christendome , FREDERICKE & ELIZABETH . With Triumphall Encomiasticke Verses , consecrated to the Immortall memory of those happy and blessed Nuptials . By Iohn Taylor , Imprinted at London for Ioseph Hunt , and are to be solde To the illustrous Lamp of true worth , the noble , Ingenious , inditious , and vnderstanding Gentleman Sir Iames Muray Knight . VNto the prospect of your Wisedomes eies I Consecrate these Epithalamies . Not that I thinke them worthy of your view , But for in loue my thoughts are bound to you : I doe confesse my selfe vnworthy far To write , in such high causes as these are , Which , Homer , Virgill nor the fluent Tully , In fitting terms could scarce expresse them fully : But since the Muses did their bounties showe , And on me did poore Poesy bestowe , I hold it best to play the thankefull man , To spend their guiftes the best wayes that I can , And not like pedling Bastards of the Muses , That Like to Lawyers liue on Times abuses . Thus vnto you I giue it as it is , Desiring pardon where ther 's ought amisse . Your Worships euer to be commaunded in all integritie : Iohn Taylor . Epithalamies . OR ENCOMIASTICK TRIVMPHALL VERSES , CONSECRATED to the Immortall memory , of the royall Nuptialls , of the two Paragons of Christendome , Frederick and Elizabeth . With a description of the Sea-fights , and Fyre-workes , with other royall occurrences which were accomplished at the Princely Celebration . I Did not write nor publish ( this description of fire and water triumphs ) to the entent that they should onely reade the relation that were spectators of them for to such ( perhaps ) it will relish some what tedious like a tale that is too often told : but I did write these things , that those who are far remoted , not onely in his Maistties Dominions , but also in foraine territories , may have an vnderstanding of the glorious pomp , and magnificent domination of our high and mighty Monarch King Iames : and further , to demonstrate the skils and knowledges that our warlike nation hath in engines fire-works and other millitary discipline , that there by may be knowne , that howsoeuer warre seemes to sléepe , yet ( vpon any lawfull ground or occasion ) the command of our dread Soueraigne can rouse hir to the terrour of al malignant opposers of his royall state and dignity . But to the purpose . In this representation of a Sea-fight there were 16. Ships , 16. Gallies and 6. Friggots : of the which Nauy , the Ships were Christians and the Gallies were supposed Turkes , all being artificially rig'd and trim'd , well man'd and furnished with great ordinance and Musquettiers : one of the Christian fleet was a great vessell or a supposed Venetian Argosey , and another was a tall Ship , as it were appointed for the safe Conuoye of the Argosey . And for the auoyding of the troublesomnesse of Boates and Wherries , and other perturbatious multitudes , there was a lists or bounds made with Lighters , Hayes , and other great Boates to the number of 250. or there abouts : the one end of the Lists was as high ( almost ) as Lambeth bridge , and the other ende as low as the Temple staires , and so fastned to the sowth shore , or the vpper end of the bancks on sowthwarke side , in the forme of a halfe Moone or Cemicircle , So that Boates might passe vp and downe the river betwixt London side and the Lighters any way . The aforesaid Turketh Gallies lying all at an Anchor euer against Westminster , in a hauen or harbor made artificially with Masts and other prouision , 60. yards into the River , which harbor or hauen was belonging to a supposed Turkish or Barbarian Castle of Tunis , Algeirs , or some other Mahometan fortification , where the Gallies might scowt out for purchase , and retire in againe for safeguard at their pleasure . About 2. of the clocke on satterday the 13. of February , the aforsaid Argosev and the other Venetian ship hir conuoy , sets forward from ward the Temple , and driuing vp with the winde and tide til they came as high as Yorke house , where 4. Gallies met and encountred with them : where vpon a suddaine there was friendly exchanging of smal shot and great ordinance on both sides , to the great delectation of all the beholders : the Drummes , Trumpets , Fises , Weights , Guns , showts , & acclamations of the Mariners , Soldiers and spectators , with such reuerberating Echoes of ioy to and fro , that there wanted nothing in this fight ( but that which was fit to be wanting ) which was ships sunk and torne in peices , men groning , rent and dismembred , some slaine , some drowned , some maimed , all expecting confusion . This was the manner of the happy and famons battell of Lepanto fought betwixt the Turks and the Christians , in the yeare of grace 1571. or in this bloody manner was the memorable battaile betwixt vs and the inuincible ( as it was thought ) Spanish Armado in the yeare 1588. but in the end , in this frendly fight ) the ship and Argosey were encompassed round by the Galleies , and surprizde and taken : whereupon , the whole Fléet made towards them to rescue them , and reuenge their receiued iniuries . Then there was a Eeacon flered by the Turkes which gaue warning to the Castle and the Galleyes , of the comming of the Christian Fléete : Then all the Ships and Galleyes met in freíndly opposition and ymaginary hurley-burley battalions : then the lofty instruments of Wars clamorous encouragements sounded : the thundring Artillary roared , the Musqueteirs in numberles volleys discharged on al sides , the smoake ( as it were ) ecclipsing Titans refulgent Beames , filling all the Ayre with a confused cloudy mist. The Castle and the Land adiacent , continually dischardging great shot in aboundance at the Ships , and the Ships at them againe : so that after this delightfull battaile had doutfully lasted thrée houres , to the great contentment of all the beholders , the Uictorie inclyning to neither side , all being opposed foes , and combyned friends : all victors , all tryumphers , none to be vanguishd , and therefore no conquerors . The Drums , Trumphets , Flutes and Guns , filling the ayre with repurrussiue acclamations : vpon which , for a Catastrophe or Period to these delightfull royalties , commaund was giuen that the Retreat should be sounded on both sides . And thus these Princely rocreations were accomplished and finished . THese things could not conueniently be printed in order as they were done , by reason of the diuersitie of them . For heere I was faine to describe the fight of the ships & Gallyes first , which was performed last . For the Fire-workes were performed on Thurs-day night the 11. of February , and the fight was vpon the Saterday following . At the which fire-workes the maister Gunner of England , on the shore did performe many skilfull and ingenious exploits with great Bumbards , shooting vp many artificiall balls of fire into the ayre , which flew vp in one whole fierie ball , & in their falling dispearsed into diuers streams like Raine-bowes in many innumerable fires . After all which , was discharged a great peale of Chambers , to the contentment of the royall spectators , and the great credit of the performers . The true description of such part of the Fire-workes as were deuised and accomplished by Mr. Iohn Nodes Gunner , and seruant to the King ; most excellent Maiestie . THe Imperiall and Beautious Lady Lucida Quéene of the Feminine Territories , of the man hating Amazonians , with whose bright eye dazeling Coruscancis , and whose Refulgent feature , the Black-sould hell commanding Magitian Mango ( A Tartarian borne , ) was so ensnared and captiuated , that for her loue , and to be assured to enioy her , he would set all Hell in an vprore , and pluck Don Belzebub by the beard : assuredly perswading himselfe , that without her he could not liue , and for her he would attempt any thing : but she hauing vowed her selfe euer to be one of Vestaes Usataries , alwayes kept Cupid out at the armes end : and bad Madam Venus make much of stump-footed Vulcan , and kéepe home like a good huswife , for she had no entertainment for her . Whereupon this hellish Necromancer Mango , ( being thus repulst ) conuerts all his loue to outragious rigor , and immediatly , with his Charmes , erorcismes , and potent execrable incantations , he raises a strong impregnable Pauilion , in the which he immures , and encloses this beautifull Amazonian Queene with her attendant Ladies , where ( though they liued in captiuitie and bondage , yet ) they had variety of Games and pleasant sports allowed by the Magitian , in hope that time would worke an alteration in her faire flinty breast . And for her sure Gard in her absence , he had erected by Magick , another strong Tower , as a watch house , wherein he had placed a fiery Dragon , and an inuincible Giant : ( of whome I will speake in another place héereafter . ) Now to this aforesaid Pauillion wearyed with toyle and trauaile , the Great vnresistable Champion of the world , and the vncontrolable Patron Saint George comes : and séeing so bright and luculent a Goddesse , ( according as his necessitie required ) demanded entertainment , whereby he might be refreshed after his laborious atchiuements , and honorable endeuours . The curteous Quéene ( although the car'd not for the society of man ) séeing his outward or externall feature and warlike acouterments , did presently resolue with her selfe that so faire an outside could not be a habitation for fowle Trechery , and with most debonayre gesture , admits his entrance into the Pauilion , where after he had feasted a while , she relates vnto him the true manner and occassion , of her vnfortunate thraldome : Saint George ( euer taking pleasure in most dangerous attempts , holding it his chiefest glory to helpe wronged Ladies ) vowes , that as soone as Rhoebus rowz'd himselfe from the Antipodes , he would quest the burning Dragon , Conquer the big bon'd Giant , subuert the inchanted Castle , and enfranchise the Quéene with her followers , or else die in the enterprise thereof . After which promise of his , the Quéene to passe away the time , delights him with these pastimes following , being all fire-workes . First , the Pauilion is beleagerd or inuirond round about with fires , going out of which , many fiery balls flies vp into the Ayre , with numbers of smaller fiers ascending , that cemicircled Cinthia is ( as it were ) eclipsed with the flashes , and the starres are hud-winckt with the burning exhalations . Secondly , is séene a royall hunting of Bucks , and Hounds , and Hunts-men , flying and chasing one another round about the Pauilion ( as if Diana had lately transformed Acteon , and his ignorant dogges ready to prey on his Carkas ) from whence continually is flying many fiers dispearsed euery way : The lower part of the Pauilion alwayes burning round about , giuing many blowes , and great reports , with many fires flying aloft into the Ayre . Thirdly , there doth march round about the Pauilion Artificiall men , which shall cast out fires ( as before ) as it were in skirmish : another part of the Pauilion is all in a Combustious flame , where Rackets , Crackers , Breakers , and such like , giues blowes and reports without number . Fourthly , the Quéene of Amazonia with all her traine of Virgin Ladyes , with fires , marcheth round as the men did before , with the fire flying despearsedly diuers wayes : the whilst another part of the Pauilion is fired , with many blowes and reports , and fiers flying aloft into the ayre , from whence it comes downe againe in streaching flakes of slashing fire . Fifthly , aloft with the Turret , shall runns ( whirling rownd ) a fyerie Globe , with the Turret and all on fire , with many more greater blowes then before had bin heard , and diuers and sundry other sorts of fires ( then any of the former ) procéeding from thence , and flying into the ayre in great aboundance . All which things being performed , and the vndanted Knight Saint George taking his leaue of the Amazonian Queene Lucida , he mounts vppon his Stéede , and aduenterously rides towards the inchanted Towre of Brumond . Now these disports being ended , wherein Saint Georges entertainement was onely expressed , with the Queenes relation of her bondage , this braue Champion was séene to ride ouer the bridge to combat with these aforesaid Monsters , the Dragon and Giant : all which was expressed in the next deuise of Mr. Thomas Butler : and so I end , with my harty inuocations to the Almighty to send the Bride and Bridgraome the yeares of Methushalah , the fortitude of Ioshua the wisedome of Solomon , the wealth of Crefsus , and last of all an endles Crowne of Immortalitie in the highest heauens . FINIS . Iohn Nodes . A true description of the Platforme of a part of the fire-workes , deuised and made by Mr. Thomas Butler Gunner , and seruant to the Kings Royall Maiestie . THis inchanted Castle or Tower of Brumond is in hight 40. foote and 30 square , betwéene which and the Pauilion of the Amazonian Quéene , is a long Bridge , on the which Bridge , the valiant and heroicke Champion Saint George being mounted on horsback , makes towards the Castle of Brumond , which being perceaued by the watchfull Dragon , ( who was left by Mango the Coniurer as a Centenell ) is encountred by him , where as Saint George ( being armed at all points ( but especially ) with an vnrebated courage ) hauing in his Helmet a burning flaming Feather , and in one hand a burning Launce , and in the other a fiery Sword , with which weapons he assailes the dreadfull Dragon , with such fury and Monster-quelling streakes , as if the Ciclops had bin forging , and beating Thunder bolts on Vulcans Anuile : where in conclusion , after a terrible and long endured Combat , with his Launce he gores the Hellehound vnder the wing , that he presently aftermost hideous roring , and belching of fire , is vanguished and slaine : at which the terrible shaped Giant rises ( who hauing sate as a spectator of this bloudy battel vpon a great stump of a trée at the Castle Gate ) and adresses himselfe towards Saint George , meaning to reuenge the death of the Dragon , and to swallow his enemy for a modieum : but at their first encounter , the blowes on both sides fell like Thunder clappes , enforcing lightning , and fiery exhalations to sparkle , from whence their powerfull stroakes lighted : at last the Monstar gaping wide , as an Arch in London Bridge , runnes furiously , intending to swallow his aduersary at a bit : which Saint George seeing , vpon the suddaine thrust his Sword into his gréedy throat and ouerthrewe him : at which the Monster yelles and rores forth such a terrible noyse , as if the Center of the earth had crackt , that with the vncouth dinne thereof , the Neighbouring hills , woods , and valleyes , séemed to tremble like an earth quake . The Gyane lying at the mercy of Saint George , entreats him to spare his life , and he will shewe him the way how he shall conquer the Castle , and bring the inchanter to his euerlasting downefall . Upon which promise , Saint George and the Gyant walke into the Castle together , where he tells Saint George that there is an enchanted fountaine , and whosoeuer can attaine to drinke of it , shall be he whome the Fates haue ordained to be the conclusion of the Castles glory . In the meane space , whilst these things were doing , the Magitian Mango , hauing intelligence of the dangerous estate of his Castle , and fearing the losse of his Lady : suddainely mounts him on a flying inuinsible deuill , and in a moment alights within the Castle , vpon whome St. George makes a prosent conquest . The Castle hath on the top thereof a fiery Fountaine , which burnes and sends vp Rackets into the ayre , with many reports and blowes : some great , and some lesse , and fire dispearsed many wayes in great aboundance with innumerable lights round about . Secondly , the Magitian is taken with his Coniuring Scepter in his hand , and bound to a Pillar by Saint George and burned , with store of lights ( as before ) with fiers and. Rackets ascending and descending too and fro in the ayre . Thirdly , the foure squares of the Tower are stered , with abundance of lights , with Rackets flying into the ayre , with hers dispearsed , and scattered diuers and sundry wayes , and with reports and blowes , some great , and some lesse , according to their making . Fourthly , the fours Turrets are fyred with fire , and innumerable lights , with aboundance of Rackets flying to and fro in the ayre , giuing diuers reports , as before . Then the maine Castle is fyered , and vpon two of the corner Terrets are two Globes fyered , and betwixt each Globe at two other corner Turrets , are two men , catching as it were at the Globes which still turne from them , and they chassing and following the Globes , still burning and turning till all be extinguished with fire : alwayes Rackets flying and reports thwacking , and lights burning . Thomas Butler . VVilliam Bettis his inuention , of such part of the fire-workes as were performed by him at the Royall Celebration : which he had contriued in such sort , that if the weather had bin Rainy or Windy , yet his dessignments should haue bin accomplished . A Castle with diuers fier-workes , representing and assuming diuers variable shapes , and immagiary formes : which continued the space of an houre or thereabouts : the nature and quallity of which fire-worke , was performed as followeth . 1 First , there was seene 13. great fiers , to flie to and fro round about the Castle , whereby it séemed to be beleagerd or Circumuolu'd with fires , which yéelded a most pleasing obiect to all the spectators . 2 Secondly , a flight of great store of Rackets was séene to ascend into the ayre , and descend againe , which in their descending were extinguished . 3 Thirdly , the whole Castle was all on fire , wherein was séene many things very delightfull . 4 Fourthly , was séene many Buttons flye , dispearsed diuers wayes from the Castle , with great crackes , blowes , and reports , in great number . 5 Next that , was séene a Stagge or Hart , hunted and chased with dogges , all their bodies being artificially made , and preportiond in one flame of fire , where the following Hounds were plainely séene , to pull downe and vanguish the Stagge which they before had chased . 6 Sixtly , there was séene a great flight of Rackets , with two or thrée fiers péece . 7 Seauenthly , were séene two or thrée hundreth fires flying from the Castle , and then flying to and fro in and out , many waies all together . 8 Next which , was séene a great slight of Rackets , with many great fires , some of the said fires breaking into many parts , diuers wayes dispearsed in abundance , which fires were séene to fall burning into the water . 9 Ninthlyt , was séene many Rackets flying into the ayre in great abundance , giuing many blowes , Crackes or reports , numberles . 10 Tenthly , was séene diuers other Rackets flying aloft into the ayre , which Rackets did assimulate the shapes or proportions of men , women , fowles , beastes , fishes , and other formes and figures . 11 Last of all , was heard 100. blowes and reports as lowd as the report of a reasonable Chamber is able to giue , and so with fires , lights , Rackets , and such like , ( to the delight of all the beholders , and the great credit of the inuentor of this fire-worke ) all was extinguished and concluded . William Bettis Mr. Iohn Tindall Gunner and seruant to the Kings royall Maiestie , The true description of such part of the Fire-workes , as were by him deuised and performed at this Royall Triumphs . A Castle , old and very Ruinous , called the Castle of Enuie scituated and erected on a Rocke ( all ragged and horide to behold ) called the Rock of Ruine , encompassed round and drenched in a troblous Sea , called the Sea of Disquiet : the Captaine of this Castle name was Discord with his Liettenant Lawles , antient Hatred , Sericant Malice , Corporall Contention , with his Lancsprezado Hell-hound . The Rocke or foundation of this Castle being all replenished with Adders , Snakes , Toades , Serpents , Scorpions , and such venomous vermin , from whose throates were belched many fires , with Crackers , Rackets , blowes and reports in great number . To the subuersion of this maleuolent Edifices , there came thrée Shippes , the one of them being called Good-will , in whome Loyalty was Captaine , and Zeale was maister . The second Ship was named the True-loue , in whome Trust was Captaine , and perseuerance was maister . The third Ship was called Assurance , in whome Circumspection was Captaine , and Prouidence the Maister . These thrée Ships and Captaines , with their valarous and confident assotiates , assaults this Castle of Enuie , where after halfe an houres fight , or there-abouts , ( by the inuincible prowesse of the assaylants ) the Hell-borne defendants were vanquished , their Castle vtterly raced , demollished , and subuerted , with Rackets , breakers , blowes and reports innumerable . The description of such part of the Fire-workes as were deuised and accomplished by Mr. William Fishenden Gunner , and seruant to his Maiestie . A Piramides or lofty Plat-forme , in the forme of a Triangled spire , with a Globe fixed on the top thereof , the whole worke turning and burning , the space almost of halfe an houre , or néere thereabouts : from whence proceeded many Rackets , fires , blowes and reports , in great numbers , to the great delight and contentment of the King the Quéene , the Prince , the Princesse Elizabeth , the Prince Palatine , and diuers others , the Nobilitie , the Gentry and Commons of this Kingdome . FINIS . Epithaleamies . OR ENCOMIASTICK TRIVMPHALL VERses , consecrated to the immortall memory of the royall Nuptialls , of the two Princes and Paragons of Christendome , Frederick and Elizabeth . With A description of the Sea-fights , and Fire-workes , with other royall occurrences which were accomplished at the princely Celebration . By Iohn Taylor . Printed for Henry Gosson , and are to be sold at his shop on London Bridge . 1613. Epithallamies . OR ENCOMIASTICK TRIVMPHALL VERSES CONSECRATED to the Immortall memory , of the royall Nuptialls , of the two Parragons of Christendome , Frederick and Elizabeth . With a description of the Sea-fights , and Fyre-workes , with other royall occurrences which were accomplished at the Princely Celebration . HHe * that vppon the Poles hath hing'd the skies Who made the Spheares , the Orbs , & Planets seauen Whose iustice dam's , whose mercy iustifies , What was , is , shall be , in earth , Hell , or heauen : Whome men and Angels lauds and magnifies , ( According as his lawes command hath giuen ) The poore , the Rich , the Begger and the King , In seuerall Anthems his great praises sing . Then as the meanest doe their voyces stretch To lawd the sempiternall Lord of Lords : So I a lame Decreppit-witted wretch , With such poore phrases as my skill affoords : From out the Circuit of my braine did fetch , Such weake inuention as my wit records . To write the triumphs of this famous I le , On which both heauen and earth with ioy doth smile . My Genius therefore my inuention moues To sing of Brittaines great Olympick Games Of mirth , of heau'n and earth beloued loues . Of princely sports , that noble mindes enflames To doe the vtmost of their best behoues ; To fill the world with their atchieued fames . T' ataine eternities all passing bounds , Which neither Fate , nor Death , nor Time confounds . Gunnes , Drums , and Trumpets , Fire-works , Bonfires , Bells , With acclamations , and applausefull noyse ; Tilts , Turneyes , Barriers , all in mirth excells , The ayre reuerberates our earthly ioyes . This great triumphing , Prophet-likefore-tells ( I hope ) how * Leathes lake all greife destroyes . For now blacke sorrow from our land is chac'd , And ioy and mirth each other haue embrac'd . How much Ichouah hath this Iland blest , The thoughts of man can neuer well conceaue : How much we lately were with woes oprest , For him * whome Death did late of life bereaue . And in the midst of griefe , and sad vnrest , To mirthfull sport he * freely giu's vs leaue : And when we all were drench'd in black dispaire , Ioy conquerd griefe , and comfort vanquish'd care Thou high and mighty Frederick the Fift , Count Pallatine , and Palsgrane of the Rhine : Bauares great Duke , when God on high doth lift , To be the tenth vnto the'Worthies nine . Be euer blest with thy beloued * Guift , Whome God , and best of men makes onely thine : Let annually the day be giuen to mirth , Wherein thy Nuptialls gaue our Ioyes new birth . Right gracious Princesse , great Elizabeth In whose Heroick , pure , White , Iuory breast , True vertue liues , and liuing flourisheth , And as their Mansion hath the same possest : Belou'd of God aboue , and men beneath , In whome the Goddesses and graces rest . By vertues power , Iehouah thee hath giuen , Each place doth seeme , ( where thou remain'st ) a heauen The Royall blood of Emperours and Kings , Of Potent Conquerors , and famous Knights Successiuely from these two Princes springs : Who well may claime , these titles as their rights : The Patrons Christendome to Vnion brings , Whose vnitie remoted lands vnites . And well in time ( I hope ) this sacred worke , Will hunt from Christian lands the faithles Turke . Since first the framing of this worlds vast Roome , A fitter , better match was not combinde : So old in wisdome , young in Beauties bloome , And both so good and graciously inclinde . And from this day , vntill the day of doome : I doubt succeeding ages shall not finde : Such wisdome , beauty , grace , compact together , As is innate in them , in both , in either . None ( but the Deuill and his infernall crue ) At this beloued heau'nly match repines , None ( but such fiendes , which hell on earth doth spue : ) Will wish Eclips of their illustrous shines , The Gods themselues , with rare inuentions new , With inspiration mans deuice refines : And with their presence vndertakes these taskes , Deuises , Morions , Reuells , playes , and Maskes . The thund'rers a Bride hath left her heauenly bed , And with her presence this great Wedding graces ; Himen in Saffron Robes inuelloped : Ioynes and accords these louers lou'd embraces : Yea all the Gods downe to the earth are fled , And mongst our ioyes their pleasures enterlaces . Immortals ioynes with mortals in their mirth , And makes the Court their Paradise on earth . Maiestick Ioue hath left his spangled Throane To dance Leuoltoes as this Bridall feast : Infusing Iouiall glee in euery one , The high , the lowe , the greatest and the least . Sad mindes to sable melancholy prone , Great Ioue their vitall parts hath so possest : That all are rap'd in sportfull extasies , With showts and Clamors ecchoing in the skies . b Apollo from two topt Muses c Hill Light of the d Sisters nine hath brought from thence , ( Leauing e Melpomena alone there still To muse on sad and Tragicall euents ) The rest all stretching their all matchles skill To serue this Royall Princesse , and this Prince . Thus Sol descended from his Radient shrine , Brings Poesy and Musicke downe diuine . The wrathfull God of f Warre in Burnish'd Armes Layes by his angry all-confounding moode : And in the lists strikes vp sweet loues Alarmes , Where freindly warres drawes no vnfriendly bloud , Where honours fire the noble spirit warmes To vndertake such Actions as are good . Thus mighty Mars these triumphs doth encrease With peacefull warre , and sweet contentions peace . The Queene of g loue these Royall sports attend , And at this Banquet deignes to be a guest : Hir whole endeuours , wholy she doth bend , She may in loues delights out-strip the best : For who so ere doth Hymens lawes pretend If Venus be but absent from the feast , They may ( perhaps ) be merry in some sort , But t is but painted h mirth , and ayery sport . Bright Mayas i sonne , the God of tricks and sleights Hath op'd the treasure of his subtill wit : And as a seruant on this wedding waightes With masques , with reuels , and with triumphs fit , His rare inuentions , and his queint conceites ( Twixt heauen aloft , and hels infrerall pit ) He in immaginary showes affords In shape , forme , method , and applausfull words . Old sullen k Saturne hid his moody head In dusky shades , of blacke Cimerian night : And wauering l Luna closely cooch'd to bed , Hir various change she knew would not delight The loyall minds where constancy is bred , Where Proteus t thoughts are put to shamefull flight . These m two ( by Ioues command were straitly bound To stay at home ( as better lost then found ) Cupid descended from the Christall skies And leaues behinde his golden fethered darts : In steede of whom he makes faire Ladies eyes The peircing weapons of true louing hearts . And be amongst these high solemnities , His awfull presence freely he imparts , To all in generall with mirthfull cheere , All sports the better if lou's God be there . The of-spring of the high celestiall Ioue His braine-bred a daughter , and his thigh borne sonne b One with aduice of wisedome shewed hir loue , And tother bounteously made plenty ronne : Where wine in streames gainst one another stroue , Where many a caske was bankrout and vndon , Depriu'd the treasure of the fruitfull vines : By Bacchus bounty , that great God of wines . Thus Ioue , and Iuno , Imps of aged Ops With wise Minerua , Mars and Mercury : Resplendent Sol with musicks straines and stops Faire Venus Queene of loues alacrity , Loues God with shafts betip'd with golden tops And Bacchus showring sweete humidity , Gods , Goddesses , the Graces and the Muses , To grace these Triumphes al their cunnings vses , Amongst the rest was all recording Fame Insculping noble deeds in brazen leaues : That meagre Enuy cannot wrong that name , Where braue Heroick acts the minde vpheaues : Fames golden Trump will through the world proclame Whom Fortune , Fate nor Death nor Time bereaues . Thus like a Scribe Fame waited to record . The Nuptials of this Lady and , this Lord. All-making-marring Time that turneth neuer To these proceedings , still hath bin auspicious , And in * his progresse will ( I hope perseuer To make their daies and howers to be delitious . Thus Fame , and Time affords their best endeuour Vnto this royall match to be propitious : Time in all pleasure through their liues will passe Whilst Fame records their fames in leaues of brasse You sonnes of Iudas and Achitophell Whose dambd delights are treasons , bloud , and death : Th' almighties power your hawty prides will quell , And make you vassals , vessels of his wrath , Let all that with these Princes worse then well , Be iudg'd and doom'd to euerlasting scath , For t is apparent , and experience proues No hat preuailes , where great Iehouah loues . To whose Omnipotent eternall power , I do commit this blest beloued paire : Oh let thy graces daily on them showre , Let each of them be thine adopted Heire : Raise them at last to thy Celestiall Bowre , And seate them Both in lasting glories Chaire . In fine , their earthly dayes be long and blest : And after , bettred in eternall rest . A Sonnet to be Imperious maiestick mirrour of Kings , Iames , great Brittaines Monarch . GReat Phoebus spreads his Raies on good and ill , Dame Tellus feeds the Lyon and the Ratte , The smallest Sayles God AEol's breath doth fill : And Thetis harbors both the Whale and Spratte . But as the Sunne doth quicken dying Plants , So thy illustrous shine doth glad all harts : And as the earth supplies our needfull wants , So doth thy bountie guerdon good desarts . And like the ayrie Eoll's pleasant gales , Thou filst with ioy the Sailes of rich and poore , And as the sea doth harbor Sprats and Whales , So thou to high and low , yeald'st harbours store . Thus Sea , Ayre , Earth , and Titans fiery face , Are Elementall seruants to thy grace . To Life . SInce that on earth thou wondrous wandring guest , Arithmeticians neuer number can The seuerall lodgings thou hast tane in man , In Fish , in Foule , in tame , or bruitish beast Since all by thee from greatest to the least , Are squar'd ( and well compar'd ) vnto a span , Oh fleeting Life take this my counsell than , Hold long possession in the royall breast : Dwell euer with the King , the Queene , the Prince , The gracious Princesse , and her Princely Spouse , In each of these thou hast a lasting house : Which Fate , nor Death , nor Time cannot conuince . And when to change thy lodging thou art driuen , Thy selfe and they exalted be to heauen . To Death . TO thee whose auaritious greedy mood , Doth play at sweepe-stake with all liuing things : And like a Hors-leech Quaffes the seuerall blood , Of Subiects , Abiects , Emperours and Kings : That high and lowe , and all must feele thy slings , The Lord , the Lowne , the Catife and the Keasar , A beggers death as much contentment brings To thee , as did the fall of Iulius Ceasar . Then since the good and bad are all as one , And Larkes to thee , no better are then Kites , Take then the bad , and let the good alone , Feede on base wretches , leaue the worthy wights . With thee the wicked euermore will stay , But from thee , Fame will take the good away . To Eternitie . THou that beyond all things dost goe so farre , That no Cosmographers could e're suruay , Whose glory ( brighter then great Phoebus Carre ) Doth Shine , where night doth ne're eclipse the day : To thee I consecrate these Princes acts , In thee alone let all their beings be : Let all the measures of their famous tracts In thee begin , but neuer end like thee . And when thy seruant Time , giues Life to Death . And Death surrenders all their liues to Fame : Oh then inspire them with celestiall breath , With Saints and Martyrs to applawd thy name . Thus vnto thee ( as thine owne proper rights ) I consecrate these matchles worthy wights . FINIS . Iohn Taylor . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13458-e2120 * * God. There are som that think scorne that I being of mean degree should write of such Princely occurrences . But I make hard shift to shoulder into the presse in despight of enuy * * The lake or gulfe of forgetfullnes of the which I hope our griefs haue sufficiently carrowsed , * * Prince Henry . * * God. * * The Princesse Elizabeth . By this happy marriage , great Britain , France , Denmarke , Germany , & the most part of Christendome are vnited , either in affinity or consanguinity . That which God lou's most , the Deuill hates most : and I am sure that none but the blackcrew are offended with these Royall Nuptialls . a a Iune . Where the plannet Iupiter hath sole predominance there is all Royall mirth and Iouiall Alacritie . b b Soll. c c Pernassus . d d The muses . e e A tragicall mournfull those who hath bene heere already , but I hope now she 's lame of the gout , that she 'le keep home for euer . f f Wars g g Venus . h h All , worth nothing . i i Mercury . k k A dogged melancholy planet , a maleuolent opposite to all mirth . l l The moone , who doth neuer continue at a stay , and therefore she absented hir selfe from those delights which I hope will be permanent . m m Saturne and Luna for in deede the nights , were darke at the wedding because the Moone shined a a Minerus , whom the poets fame to be the Goddesse of wisedome , borne and bred in the braine of Iupiter . b b Bachus , whom his father Ioue saued from Abortiue birth from his mother Semell & sowed him upon his thigh till the time of his birth was come to a period Ouid Lib. 3. * * Times progresse . 
A13462	----	A kicksey winsey: or a lerry come-twang: wherein Iohn Taylor hath satyrically suited 800. of his bad debters, that will not pay him for his returne of his iourney from Scotland Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1619 Approx. 33 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 21 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13462 STC 23767 ESTC S103249 99839006 99839006 3399 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13462) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 3399) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1222:19) A kicksey winsey: or a lerry come-twang: wherein Iohn Taylor hath satyrically suited 800. of his bad debters, that will not pay him for his returne of his iourney from Scotland Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [42] p. Printed by Nicholas Okes, for Mathew Walbanck, dwelling at Grayes Inne Gate, London : 1619. In verse. Signatures: A-B C⁵. With a final colophon leaf. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A Kicksey Winsey : OR A Lerry Come-Twang : Wherein Iohn Taylor hath Satyrically suited 800 of his bad debters , that will not pay him for his returne of his Iourney from Scotland . My debters like 7. eeles with slip'rie tailes , One sort I cach , 6. slips away and failes . LONDON , Printed by Nicholas Okes , for Mathew Walbanck , dwelling at Grayes Inne Gate . 1619. TO THE VVORTHIE GENTLEMAN , Maister Raphe Wormlaighton ; the hopefull Sonne of his Noble Father , Raphe Wormlaighton Esquier . GRaies Inne Wormlaighton , a true Scholler , right With loue and thankes , you paid me at first sight ; Your worthy father gaue me what was due , And for his loue , I giue my thanks to you . I. T. TO THE MIRROR OF GOODFELLOWSHIP , THE PATterne of true Friendship , and the onely nonparallell of iouiall Entertainment ; Maister George Hilton , at the signe of the horshooe , at Daintree ; Iohn Tailor wisheth dayly increace of good Guests , true payment , hearts content in this life , and afterward , as much happinesse as his soule can desire . KInde Sir , I haue seen oftentimes men offring to snuff acandle , haue against their wils put it cleane out ; and an vnskilfull Chirurgian taking a small greene wound in hand , hath brought it to an olde Vlcer . I would be loath , for my part , to imitate either of these examples ; for my intent is , confession of the wrong I did you : & an endeauor to make amends . I do cōfesse that I did you wrong in print , in my book of my Trauels , & now in print I doe make you a publike satisfaction , For , I protest to God , that I haue heard so much good report of you , that I am double sorry that I was so mistaken , and that I haue beene so long time before I haue printed my recantation . It was your Tapsters want of wit , and my want of discretion , that was the grounds of my too much credulity and temerity . For his part , I wish him no more harme , but that chalke may bee his best payments , Thunder may sowre his Hogsheads , Rats may gnaw out his spiggots at midnight , & himselfe to commit his wit to the keeping of a foole while he liues ; And your hostlers , for gaping so greedily like gudgeons vpon me , I pray that they may euery day mourne in litter and horsdung . But these are but Iests by the way , for as many as knowes you , haue told mee , that if you had beene at home , my entertainement had been better : if it had beene so , it had beene more then you owed mee ; and more then I at that time could haue requited : but I would haue stretched my wit vpon the centers of Inuention , in the praise of Innes and Inkeepers ; I would haue put the forgetfull world in minde of the good seruice that Rahab the Inne-keeper did at Iericho , in hiding and preseruing the spies that were sent by Caleb and Ioshua ; I would haue made the obliuious logger-headed Age remember , that the Redeemer of the World did grace an Inne with his blessed birth : What place then but an Inne was the High Court of Heauen and Earth , the residence and lodging of the Immortall King , of neuer ending Eternity ? This and more I would haue done , but what is past cannot be recalled , and it is too late to put old omittings to new Committings . And so my noble and thrice worthy hoste of hostes , I omit not to commit you and yours to the protection of the Lord of Hostes , desiring you to take this merry Pamphlet in good part , or in earnest of my better amends , and as a qualifier of your iust anger . Yours in the best of his endeauours to be commanded , IOHN TAYLOR . The VVhy and the VVherefore . I Haue published this Pamphlet , to let my rich debters vnderstand , that as often as I meete them , I doe looke that they should pay mee : and although I am shamefaste in not asking my due , yet I would not haue them shamelesse in detaining it from me , because the summes are but small , and very easie for them ( in generall ) to pay , and would doe me a particular good to receiue Secondly , I haue sent this into the world , to informe some , that though their want doe shun and auoyd my sight and company , that they are much deceiued in my disposition ; for I euer did esteeme an honest heart and a willing minde , as well as their performances . Thirdly , there are some great men , who by reason of their extraordinary imployments , my small acquaintance , and lesse meanes of accesse vnto them , with my want of impudency , and their mens want of courtesie to informe them ; all these are lets , and demurres , against my satisfaction . Lastly , the daily abuses that I haue concerning the booke of my Trauels , wherein I am accused for lies , and falsifications ; but I doe and euer will stedfastly stand to the truth of euery tittle of it , except the abuse that I did to Maister Hilton at Daintree ; & that was not done on known malice neither , but on blinde ignorant information : and there is a second Edition of my bookes of Trauels comming forth , wherein I will Satyrize , Cauterize , and Stigmatize all the whole kennell of curres that dares maliciously snarle against manifest , apparant , and well knowne truthes . In the meane space , you that are my debters , if you please to pay me , you shall therein put your selues out of a bad number amongst which you yet are placed : if you wil not pay me , take this bone to gnaw vpon , That I do hope to be euer better furnished with mony , then you shall bee with honesty . I. T. A Table of the generall heads , containing seuen parts . 1 THose that haue paid . 2 Those that would pay if they could . 3 Those that walke inuisible , and are not to be found . 4 Those that say they will pay , who knowes when . 5 Those that are dead . 6 Those that are fled . 7 Those Rorers that can pay , and wil not . Those that do euer meane to pay , Nothing at all this booke doth say : To such my Satyre talketh still , As haue not paid , nor neuer will. A Kicksey Winsey : OR A Lerry Come-Twang : Wherein Iohn Taylor hath Satyrically suited 800. of his bad debters , that will not pay him for his returne of his iourney from Scotland . 1. My thankes to those that haue paid . YOur worthy Worthies , of that liberall Tribe , Who freely gaue your words , or did subscribe : And were not ich'd with the vaine-glorious worme , To write and lie , but promise and performe , Black Swans of Brittaine , I protest you arr , And seeme ( to me ) each one a Blazing Starre ; For this inconstant Age so few affoords Of men whose deedes do counterpoise their words , That finding one , me thinkes I see a wonder , More then Decembers fruit , or Winters Thunder . Ingratitude , I hold a vice so vile , That I could ne're endur 't a breathing while , And therefore , ere I 'le proue a thanklesse Iade , Time in his course shall runne quite retrograde ; Yea , euery thing shall hate his proper kinde , Before I 'le harbour an ingratefull minde : And still I vow to quit you in some part , With my best wishes , and a thankefull heart : So much to you , my Muse hath sung , or said Whose louing bounties hath the Sculler paid . 2. Those that would pay if they could . ANd as for you that would pay , if you could , I thank you , though you do not as you should , You promis'd faire , and wrote as free as any , But Time hath altred since , the case with many ; Your moneies , like low Tides , are eb'd too low , And when 't is lowest , 't will begin to flow . To seek a breech frō breechlesse men , 't were vaine , And fruitlesse labour would requi●e my paine : It were no Charity ( as I suppose ) To bid one wipe his nose , that wants a nose , And sure my Conscience would be lesse then little , T' enrich my selfe , by robbing of the Spittle , No , honest friends ( to end this vaine dispute ) Your barren states may spring , & bring forth fruite , Your wills are good , and whilst I keepe your bills In stead of paiment I accept good wills ; On hope and expectation I will feed , And take your good endeauours for the deede , Praying that Crosses in your mindes may cease , And Crosses in your purses may increase . 3. Those that are hard for me to finde , and being found , were better lost . ANother sort of debters are behinde , Some I know not , and some I cannot finde : And some of them lies here and there , by spirts Shifting their lodgings oftner then their shirts . Perchance I heare where one of these men lies , And in the morning vp betimes I rise , And finde in Shorditch where he lodg'd a night ; But he to Westminster hath tane his flight . Some two dayes after thither doe I trot , And finde his lodging , but yet finde him not , For he the night before ( as people tell ) Hath tane a Chamber about Clarken well . Thither go I , and make a priuie search , Whilst hee 's in Southwark , neer S. George his Church , A pox vpon him , all this while thinke I , Shall I ne're finde out where my youth doth lie ? And hauing sought him many a weary bout , At last perhaps I finde his Chamber out : But thēn the Gentleman is fast in bed , And rest hath seas'd vpon his running head ; He hath tooke cold with going late by Water , Or sate vp late at Ace , Deuse , Trey , and Cater , That with a Sink of 50. pieces price , He sleepes till noone before his Worship rise . At last he wakes ; his man informes him straight , That I at dore doe on his pleasure waite ; Perhaps I am requested to come neere And drinke a cup of either ale or beere , Whilst sucking English fire , and Indian vaper , At last I greete him with my bill of paper : Well Iohn ( quoth he ) this hand I know is mine , But I this day do purpose to go dine At the Halfe Moone in Milke-street , prethee come , And there wee 'le drink , and pay this petty Somme . Thus many a street by me recrost , and crost I in and out , and to , and fro , am tost . And spend my time and coyne to finde one out , Which hauing found , rewards me with a slout . In this base fashion , or such like as this , To me their scuruy dayly dealings is : As on 's in 's study , t'others deepe in talke , Another's in his Garden gone to walke ; On 's in the barbers suddes , and cannot see , Till chin and chaps are made a Roman T. And for his making thus a Gull of of me , I wish his cut may be the Greacian P. These men can kisse their clawes , with Iack how i' st , And take and shake me kindly by the fist , And put me off , with dilatory Coggs , And sweare and lie , worse then so many dogs , Protesting they are glad I am return'd , When they 'd be gladder I were hang'd or burn'd . Some of their pockets are oft stor'd with chinke , Which they had rather waste on Drabs , Dice , Drink , Then a small pettie summe to me to pay , Although I meete them euery other day ; For which to case my minde , to their disgrace , I must ( perforce ) in Print proclaime them base : And if they pay me not ( vnto their shames ) I 'le print their trades , their dwellings ▪ & their names , That boyes shall hisse them as they walke along , Whilst they shal stink , & do their breeches wrong : Pay then , delay not , but with speed disburse , Or if you will , try but who 'le haue the worse . 4. Those that will and doe dayly pay me in drinke and smoake . A Fourth crew I must drop from out my quill , Are some that haue not paid , yet say they wil : And their remembrance giues my muddy mood , More ioy then of those that will ne're be good . These fellowes my sharpe Muso shall lash but soft , Because I meete them to their charges oft , Where at the Tauerne ( with free frollick hearts ) They welcome me with pottles , pints , and quarts ; And they ( at times ) will spend like honest men , Twelue shillings , rather then pay fiue or ten . These I do neuer seeke from place to place , These make mee not to runne the wildgoose chase ; These do from day to day not put me off , And in the end reward me with a scoffe . And for their kindnesse , let them take their leasure , To pay or not pay , let them vse their pleasure . Let them no worser then they are , still proue Their powrs may chance out-do me , not their loue ; I meete them to my perill , and their cost , And so in time ther 's little will be lost . Yet the old prouerb I would haue them know , The horse may starue the whilst the grasse doth grow . 5. Those that are dead . A Fift sort ( God be with them ) they are dead , And euery one my quittance vnder 's head : To aske them coyne , I know they haue it not , And where nought is , there 's nothing to be got . I 'le neuer wrong them with inuectiue lines , Nor trouble their good heires , or their assignes . And some of them , their liues losse to me were In a large measure of true sorrow deere ; As one braue Lawyer , whose true honest spirit Doth with the blest celestiall soules inherit . He whose graue wisedome gain'd preheminence To grace and fauour with his gracious Prince ; Adorn'd with learning , lou'd , approu'd , admir'de , He , my true friend , too soon to dust retir'de . Besides , a number of my worthy friends ( To my great losse ) death brought vnto their ends . Rest gentle spirits , rest , with Eternizing , And may your corpes haue all a ioyfull rising : There 's many liuing , euery day I see , Who are more dead then you in pay to me . 6. Those that are fled . A Sixt , with tongs glib , like the tayles of eeles , Hath shew'd this lād & me foule pairs of heels To Ireland , Belgia , Germany and France , They are retir'de to seeke some better chance . T' was their vnhappy inauspicious Fate , The Counters , or King Luds vnlucky Gate ; Bonds being broke , the stones in euery street , They durst not tread on , lest they burnt their feete : Smoke by the pipe , and ginger by the race , They lou'd with ale , but neuer lou'd the Mace. And these mens honesties are like their states , At piteous , wofull , and at low priz'd rates ; For partly they did know when they did take My Bookes , they could no satisfaction make . And honesty this document doth teach That man shall neuer striue aboue his reach , Yet haue they reacht , and ouerreacht me still , To do themselues no good , and me much ill . But farewell friends , if you againe do come , And pay me either all , or none , or some : I looke for none , and therefore still delay me , You onely do deceiue me if you pay me . Yet that deceit from you , were but my due ; But I looke ne're to be deceiu'd by you . Your stockes are poore , your Creditors are store , Which God increase , and decrease , I implore . 7. Those that are as farre from honesty as a Turke is from true Religion . SEuenthly , and last's a worthy worthlesse crew , Such as heau'n hates , & hell on earth doth spew ; And God renounce , & dam them , are their praiers , Yet some of these sweete youths are good mens heires : But vp most tēderly they haue bin brought And all their breeding , better fed then taught : And now their liues floate in damnations streame , To Stab , drab , kil , swil , tear , swear , stare , blaspheme : In imitation worse then diuels apes , Or Incubusses thrust in humane shapes : As bladders full of others wind is blowne , So selfe conceit doth puffe them them of their owne : They deeme their wit all other men surpasses , And other men esteem them witlesse asses . These puckfoyst Cockbrain'd coxcōbs , shallow pated , Are things that by their taylors are created ; For they before were simple shapelesse wormes , Vntill their makers lick'd them into formes . T' is ignorant Idolatry most base , To worship Sattin Sathan , or gold lace ; T' adore a veluet varlet , whose repute Stinkes odious , but for his perfumed suite . If one of these to serue some Lord doth get , His first taske is , to sweare himselfe in debt : And hauing pawn'd his soule to Hell for oathes , He pawnes those othes for newfoūd fashiō clothes . His carcasse cased in this borrowed case , Imagines he doth me exceeding grace ; If when I meete him , he bestowes a nod , Then must I thinke me highly blest of God. And though no wiser then a foole he be , A good luck on him , hee 's too wise for me ; He with a courtly trick , or a flim flam , Doth nod at me , whilst I the noddy am : One part of Gentry he will ne're forget , And that is , that he ne're will pay his dett . To take , and to receiue , they hold it fit , But to requite , or to restore's , no wit. Then let them take and keepe , but knocks , and pox , And all diseases from Pandora's box . And which of them sayes that I raue or raile , Let him but pay , and bid me kisse his T. But sure the Diuell hath taught them many a trick , Beyond the numbring of Arithmetick . I meete one , thinking for my due to speake , He with cuasions doth my purpose breake , And askes what news I heare from France or Spaine , Or where I was in the last shower of raine ; Or when the Court remooues , or what 's a clock , Or where 's the wind ( or some such windy mock ) With such fine scimble seemble , spitter spatter , As puts me cleane besides the mony matter . Thus with poore mungrell shifts , with what , where , when , I am abused by these things , like men . And some of them do glory in my want , They being Romists , I a Protestant : Their Apostaticall Iniunctions saith , To keepe their faith with me , is breach of faith : For 't is a Maximm of such Catholicks , T is Meritorious to plague Hereticks ; Since it is so , pray pay me but my due , And I will loue the Crosse as well as you . And this much further I would haue you know , My shame is more to aske , then yours to owe : I begge of no man , 't is mine owne I craue , Nor do I seeke it but of them that haue : There 's no man was inforc'd against his will , To giue his word , or signe vnto my bill . And i' st not shame , nay more then shame to heare , That I should be return'd aboue a yeare , And many Rich men , words , and bills haue past , And tooke of me both bookes , both first and last : Whilst twice or thrice a weeke , in euery streete , I meete those men , and not my mony meete . Were they not able me amends to make , My conscience then , would sooner giue then take ; But most of those I meane , are full purs'd hindes , Being beggerly in nothing but their minds : Yet sure me thinkes , if they would do me right , Their minds should be as free to pay , as write . Neer threescore poūds , the books I 'm sure did cost , Which they haue had from me , and I thinke lost : And had not these mens tongues so forward bin , Ere I my painfull iourney did beginne , I could haue had good men in meaner Rayment , That long ere this , had made me better payment : I made my iourney for no other ends , But to get mony , and to try my friends : And not a friend I had , for worth , or wit Did take my booke , or past his word , or writ : But I ( with thankefulnesse ) still vnderstood They tooke , in hope to giue , and do me good . They took a book worth 12. pence , & were bound To giue a Crowne , an Angell , or a pound . A Noble peice , or halfe peice , what they list , They past their words , or freely set their fist . Thus got I sixteene hundred hands and fifty , Which summe I did suppose was somewhat thristy ; And now my youths , with shifts , & tricks & cauils , Aboue eight hundred , playes the sharking Iauils . I haue performed what I vndertooke , And that they should keepe touch with me I looke : Foure thousand , and fiue hundred bookes I gaue To many an honest man , and many a knaue ; Which bookes , and my expence to giue them out , ( A long yeere seeking this confused rout ) I'm , sure it cost me seuenscore pounds and more , With some suspition that I went on score . Besides , aboue a thousand miles I went , And ( though no mony ) yet much time I spent ; Taking excessiue labour , and great paines , In heat , cold , wet , and drie , with feete and braines : With tedious toyle , making my heart strings ake , In hope I should content , both giue and take ▪ And in requitall now , for all my paine , I giue content still , and get none againe . None did I say ? I 'le call that word agen , I meete with some that pay me now , and then , But such a toyle I haue those men to seeke , And finde ( perhaps ) 2 , 3 , or 4 a weeke , That too too oft , my losing gettings be , To spend 5. crownes in gathering in of three . And thus much to the world I dare auow , That my oft walkes to get my mony now , With my expences , seeking of the same , Returning many a night , home tir'd and lame , Meeting some thirty , forty in a day , That sees mee , knowes me , owes me , yet none pay . Vs'd and abus'd thus , both in towne and Court , It makes me thinke my Scottish walke a sport : I muse of what stuffe these men framed be , Most of them seeme Muckado vnto me : Some are Standfurther off , for they endeauer , Neuer to see me or to pay me neuer . When first I saw them , they appeared Rash , And now their promises are worse then trash ; No Taffaty more changeable then they , In nothing constant , but no debts to pay . And therefore let them take it as they will , I 'le canuase them a little with my quill . To all the world I humbly do apeale , And let it iudge , if well these men doe deale , Or whether for their basenesse , 't were not fitter , That I should vse more gall , and write more bitter ? Indeed I wrote this for this onely end , To warne them , and their faults to reprehend ; But if this warning will not serue the turne , I sweare by sweete Satyrick Nash his vrne , On euery pissing post , their names I 'le place , Whilst they past shame , shall shame to shew their face , I 'le hale fell Nemesis , from Dis his den , To ayde and guide my sharpe reuenging pen ; That fifty Popes Buls neuer shall roare lowder , Nor fourscore Cannōs , whē men fire their powder . There 's no wound deeper then a pen can giue , It makes men liuing dead , and dead men liue ; It can raise honour drowned in the sea , And blaze it forth in glory , Cap a pea ; Why it can scale the battlements of heauen , And stelli●ie men 'mongst the Planets seauen : It can make Mizers , peasants , knaues and fooles The scorn of goodnesse , and the diuels close stooles . Forgot had bin the thrice three worthies names , If thrice three Muses , had not writ their fames . And if it not with flattry be infected , Good is by it extold , and bad corrected . Let Iudgement iudge thē , what mad men are those , That dare against a pen themselues oppose , Which ( whē it likes ) can turne them all to loathing . To any thing , to nothing , worse then nothing . Yet e're I went , these men to write did like , And vs'd a pen more nimbly then a pike ; And writ their names ( as I suppos'd ) more willing , Then valiant Souldiers with their Pikes are drilling . No paper bill of mine had edge vpon it , Till they their hands and names had written on it ; And if their iudgements be not ouer-seene , They would not feare , the edge is not so keene . Some thousands , and some hundreds by the yeare Are worth , yet they their piece or halfe piece feare ; They on their owne bils are affraid to enter , And I vpon their pieces dare to venter : But who so at the bill hath better skill , Giue me the piece , and let him take the bill . I haue met some that odiously haue lied , Who to deceiue me , haue their names denied ; And yet they haue good honest Christian names , As Ioshua , Richard , Robert , Iohn and Iames : To cheate me with base Inhumanity , They haue denide their Christianity , A halfe piece , or a Crowne , or such a somme , Hath forc'd them falsifie their Christendom : Denying good , ill names with them agree , And they that haue ill names halfe hanged be , And sure I thinke my losse would be but small , If for a quittance they were hang'd vp all . Of such I am past hope , and they past grace , And hope and grace both pas●s , a wretched case . It may be that for my offences past , God hath vpon me this disturbance cast : If it be so , I thanke his Name therefore , Confessing I deserue ten times much more ; But as the Diuell is author of all ill , So ill for ill , on th' ill , he worketh still ; Himselfe , his seruants , dayly lye and lurk Mans cares on earth , or paines in hell to work . See how the case then with my debters stands , They take the diuels office out on 's hands ; Tormenting me on earth , for passed euils , And for the diuell , doth vex me worse then diuels . In troth 't is pittie , proper men they seeme , And those that know them not , would neuer deeme That one of them would basely seeme to meddle , To be the diuels hangman or his beadle . For shame , for honesty , for both , for either , For my deserts desertlesse , or for neither Discharge your selues frō me , you know wherefore , And neuer serue , or helpe the Diuell more . I haue heard some that Lawyers do condem , But I still must , and will speake well of them ; Though neuer in my life , they had of me Clarkes , Counsellers , or yet Atturneys fee , Yet at my backe returne , they all concurr'd And payd me what was due , and ne're demurr'd . Some Counter serieants , when I came agen , ( Against their natures ) dealt like honest men . By wondrous accident perchance one may Grope out a needle in a loade of haye : And though a white crow be exceeding rare , A blind man may ( by fortune ) catch a Hare , So may a serieant haue some honest tricks If too much knauery doth not ouer-mix . Newgate ( the Vniuersity of stealing ) Did deale with me with vpright honest dealing . My debters all ( for ought that I can see ) Will still remaine true debters vnto me ; For if to paying once they should incline , They would not then be debters long of mine , But this reporte I feare , they still will haue , To be true debters euen to their graue . I know there 's many worthy projects done , The which more credit , and more coyne hath won , And 't is a shame for those ( I dare maintaine ) That breake their words , & not requite their paine : I speake to such , if any such their be , If there be none , would there were none for me . Thus all my debters haue increast my tallant , Except the poore , the proud , the base , the Gallant . Those that are dead , or fled , or out of Towne : Such as I know not , nor to them am knowne , Those that will pay ( of which there 's some smal nūber , And those that smile to put me to this cūber , In all they are eight hundred , and some od , But when they 'le pay me 's onely knowne to God. Some crowns , some poūds , sōe nobles , some a roial ; Some good , some naught , some worse , most bad in triall . I , like a boy , that shooting with a bow , Hath lost his shaft where weedes and bushes grow ; Who hauing search'd , and rak'd , and scrap'd , & tost To finde his arrow that he late hath lost : At last a crotchet comes into his braine , To stand at his first shooting place againe ; Then shootes , and lets another arrow flie Neare as he thinkes his other shaft may lie : Thus ventring , he perhaps findes both or one , The worst is , if he lose both , he findes none . So I that haue of bookes so many giuen , To this compared Exigent am driuen : To shoote this Pamphlet , and to ease my minde , To lose more yet , or something lost to finde . As many brooks , foords , showers of rain , & springs Vnto the Thames their often tribute brings , These subiects paying , not their stocks decrease , Yet by those payments , Thames doth still increase : So I that haue of debters such a swarme , Good they might do me , and themselues no harme , Inuectiue lines , or words , I write not say To none but those that can , and will not pay : And who so payes with good , or with ill will , Is freed from out the compasse of my quill . They must not take me for a Stupid asse , That I ( vnfeeling ) will let these things passe . If they beare minds to wrong me , let them know I haue a tongue and 〈◊〉 my wrongs to show ; And be he ne're , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , or neate , or trim , That bids a pissi for me , a 〈◊〉 for him ; To me they ' are rotten trees , with beauteous rhinds Fayre formed caskets of deformed minds . Or like dispersed flocks of scattred sheepe , That will no pasture , or decorum keepe : Some wildely skipping into vnknowne grounds , Stray into forreigne and forbidden bounds , Where some throgh wāt , some throgh excesse haue got The scab , the worme , the murraine , or the rot . But whilst they wander guidelesse , vncontrolde , I 'le doe my best to bring them to my folde ; And seeing sheepefold hurdles heere are scant , I am inforced to supply that want With rayling ; and therefore mine owne to win , Like rotten forlorne sheepe , I 'le raile them in . FINIS . LONDON : Printed by Nicholas Okes , for Mathew Walbanck , dwelling at Grayes Inne Gate . 1619. 
A13466	----	The life and death of the most blessed among women, the Virgin Mary mother of our Lord Iesus VVith the murder of the infants in Bethlehem, Iudas his treason, and the confession of the good theife and the bad. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1620 Approx. 33 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 22 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13466 STC 23770 ESTC S103494 99839246 99839246 3650 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13466) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 3650) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1260:03) The life and death of the most blessed among women, the Virgin Mary mother of our Lord Iesus VVith the murder of the infants in Bethlehem, Iudas his treason, and the confession of the good theife and the bad. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [44] p. By G. E[ld] and are to be sold [by E. Wright?] at Christ-church gate, Printed at London : 1620. By John Taylor. Printer's name from and bookseller's name conjectured by STC. In verse. Signatures: A-C (-A1,C8, blank?). Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Mary, -- Blessed Virgin, Saint -- Early works to 1800. Mary, -- Blessed Virgin, Saint -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-08 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-09 Jennifer Kietzman Sampled and proofread 2002-09 Jennifer Kietzman Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE LIFE AND DEATH of the most blessed among women , the Virgin MARY Mother of our LORD IESVS . VVith the Murder of the Infants in Bethlehem , Iudas his Treason , and the Confession of the good Theife and the bad . Printed at London by G. E. and are to be sold at Christ-church gate . 1620. TO THE RIGHT HONOVRABLE AND truly vertuous Lady , the Noble Patronesse of good endeuours , MARY Countesse of Buckingham . Right Honourable Madam : AS the Graces , the Vertues , the Senses , and the Muses , are emblemed , or alluded to your noble sex , and as all these haue ample residence in your worthy disposition : To whō then but to your selfe , being a Lady in goodnes compleat , should I commit the patronage of the memory of the great Lady of Ladyes , Mother to the high and mighty Lord of Lords ? And though I ( a Taylor ) haue not apparell'd her in such garments of elocution and ornated stile , as befits the glory and eminency of the least part of her Excellency , yet I beseech your Honor to accept her for her own worth , and her Sonnes worthinesse : which Sonne of hers , by his owne merits , and the powerfull mercy of his Father , I heartily implore to giue your Honour a participation of his gracious Mothers eternall felicitie . Your Honors , in all humble seruice to be commanded . IOHN TAILOR . The Argument , and cause of this Poem . BEing lately in Antwerpe , it was my fortune to ouerlooke an old printed Booke in prose , which I haue turned into Verse , of the life , death & buriall of our blessed Lady : wherin I read many things worthy of obseruation , and many things friuolous and impertinent ; out of the which I haue ( like a Bee ) suck't the sacred hony of the best authorities of Scriptures , and Fathers which I best credited , and I haue left the poyson of Antichristianisme to those where I found it ( whose stomackes can better disgest it , ) I put it to the Presse , presuming it shall be accepted of pious Protestants and charitable Catholikes ; as for luke-warme Neutralists that are neyther hot nor cold , they doe offend my appetite , and therefore vp with them . The schismaticall Separatist , I haue many times discoursed with him , and though he be but a Botcher or a Button-maker , and at the most , a lumpe of opinionated ignorance , yet hee will seeme to wring the Scriptures to his opinions , and presume to know more of the mysteries of Religion , then any of our Reuerend learned Bishops and Doctors . I know this worke will be vnrelished in the pestiferous pallates of the dogmaticall Amsterdammatists ; but I do , must , and will acknowledge a most reuerend honor and regard vnto the sacred memory of this blessed virgin Lady , Mother of our Lord and Redeemer Iesus ; and in my thoughts she shall euer haue superlatiue respect aboue all Angels , Principalities , Patriarkes , Prophets , Apostles , Euangelists or Saints whatsoeuer , vnder the blessed Trinity ; yet ( mistake me not ) as there is a difference betwixt the Immortall Creator , and a mortall creature , so ( whilst I haue warrant sufficient from God himselfe , to inuocate his Name onely ) I will not giue man , Saint , or Angell any honour that may be derogatory to his eternall Maiestie . As amongst Women she was blest aboue all , being aboue all full of Grace , so amongst Saints I beleeue she is supreame in Glory : and it is an infallible truth , that as the Romanists doe dishonour her much by their superstitious honourable seeming attributes ; so on the other part , it is hellish and odious to God and good men , either to forget her , or ( which is worse ) to remember her with impure thoughts , or vnbeseeming speech for the excellency of so deuine a Creature . I confesse my selfe the meanest of men , and most vnworthy of all to write of her that was the best of Women , but my hope is , that Charity will couer my faults , and accept of my good meaning , especially hauing endeuoured and striuen to doe my best : So wishing all hearts to giue this holy Virgin such honour as may be pleasing to God ; which is , that all should patterne their liues to her lifes example , in lowlinesse and humility , and then they shall be exalted where shee is in Glory , with eternity . Iohn Taylor . THE LIFE AND DEATH OF THE most blessed amongst all Women , the Virgin Mary the Mother of our Lord IESVS CHRIST . BEfore the Fire , Ayre , Water , Earth were fram'd ; Sunne , Moone , or any thing vnnam'd or nam'd ; God was , who nere shall end , nor nere beganne , To whom all ages and all time 's a spanne : By whose appointment each thing fades or growes , And whose eternall knowledge all things knowes . When Adams sinne pluckt downe supernall ire , And Iustice iudg'd him to eternall fire : Then Mercy did the execution stay , And the great price of mans great debt did pay . And as a woman tempted man to vice , For which they both were thrust from Paradise : So from a woman was a Sauiours birth , That purchas'd Man a heauen for losse of earth : Our blest Redeemers mother , that blest she , Before the world ( by God ) ordain'd to be A chosen vessell , fittest of all other , To be the Sonne of Gods most gracious mother . Shee is the theame that doth my Muse inuite , Vnworthy of such worthinesse to write . I will no prayers not inuocations frame , For intercession to this heauenly Dame : Nor to her name one fruitlesse word shall runne , To be my Mediatresse to her Sonne ; But to th' eternall Trinity alone , I le sing , I le sigh , I le inuocate and mone . I prize no creatures glory at that rate , The great Creators praise t'extenuate . But to th' Almighty , ( ancient of all dayes , ) Be all dominion , honour , laud and prayse . I write the blest conception , birth , and life , Of this beloued Mother , Virgin , Wife : The ioyes , the griefes , the death and buriall place Of her most glorious , gracious , full of grace . Her father Ioachim a vertuous man , Had long liu'd childlesse with his wife S. Anne , And both of them did zealously intend , If God did euer sonne or daughter send , That they to him would dedicate it solely To be his seruant and to liue most holy : God heard and granted freely their request , And gaue them Mary ( of that sex the best . ) At three yeares age , she to the Temple went , And there eleuen yeares in deuotion spent : At th' end of foureteene yeares it came to passe , This virgin vnto Ioseph spoused was : Then after foure months time was past and gone , Th' Almighty sent from his tribunall throne , His great Ambassador , which did vnfold The greatest ambassage euer yet was told , Hayle MARY full of heauenly grace ( quoth he ) The ( high omnipotent ) Lord is with thee , Blest amongst women ( by Gods gracious dombe ) And blessed be the fruit of thy blest wombe . The Angels presence , and the words he sayd , This sacred vndefiled Maid dismaide , Amazed , mused what this message meant , And wherefore God this messenger had sent . Feare not ( said Gabriel ) MARY ( most renownd ) Thou with thy gracious God hast fauour found , For loe , thou shalt conceiue and beare a Sonne , ( By whom redemption and saluation's wonne ) And thou his ( sauing ) name shalt IESVS call , Because heel 'e come to saue his people all . She humbly , mildly heauens high Nuntius heares , But yet to be resolu'd of doubts and feares , How can these things ( quoth she ) accomplisht be , When no man hath knowledge had with mee ? The Holy Ghost ( the Angell then replide ) Shall come vpon thee ( and thy God and guide ) The power of the most High shall shadow thee , That holy thing that of thee borne shall bee , Shall truely called be the Sonne of God , By whom sin , death , and hell , shall downe be trod . Then MARY to these speeches did accord , And said , Behold the hand-maid of the Lord. Be it to me according to thy will , I am thine owne obedient seruant still . This being said , she tun'd her Angell tongue , My soule doth magnifie the Lord , ( she sung ) My spirit , and all my faculties , and voyce , In God my Sauiour solely doth reioyce : For though mans sinnes prouoke his grieuous wrath , His humble hand-maid he remembred hath . For now behold from this time henceforth shall All generations me right blessed call : He that is mighty me hath magnifide , And holy is his name : his mercies bide On them that feare him ( to prouoke his rage ) Throughout the spacious world , from age to age . With his strong arme he hath shewed strength and batterd , The proud & their imaginations scatterd . He hath put downe the mighty from their seat , The meeke and humble he exaulted great , To fill the hungry he is prouident , When as the rich away are empty sent : His mercies promis'd Abraham and his seed . He hath remembred , and helpe Israels need . This Song she sung with hart and holy spright , To laud her Makers mercy and his might : And the like song , sung with so sweet a straine Was neuer , nor shall e'er be sung againe . When Mary by the Angels speech perceiu'd How old Elizabeth a childe conceiu'd , To see her straight her pious minde was bent , And to Ierusalem in three dayes she went. And as the Virgin ( comne from Nazareth ) Talk't with her kinswoman Elizabeth , Iohn Baptist , then vnnam'd an vnborne boy , Did in his mothers belly leape with ioy : Both Christ and Iohn vnborne , yet Iohn knew there His great Redeemer and his God was neere . When Ioseph his pure wife with childe espide , And knew he neuer her accompanide , His heart was sad , he knew not what to say , But in suspect would put her quite away . Then from the high Almighty Lord supreame , An Angell came to Ioseph in a Dreame , And said ; Feare not with Mary to abide , For that which in her blest wombe doth recide , Is by the Holy Ghost in wonder done , For of thy Wife there shall be borne a Sonne , From him alone Redemption all begins , And he shall saue his people from their sinnes . This being said , the Angell past away , And Ioseph with his Wife and Maid did stay : Then he and she with speed prepared them , To goe to Dauids City Bethelem , Through winters weather , frost , & winde & snow Foure weary dayes in trauell they bestow . But when to Bethlem they approched were Small friendship & lesse welcom they found there : No Chamber , nor no fire to warme them at , For harbour onely they a stable gat : The Inne was full of more respected guests , Of Drunkards , Swearers , and of Godlesse beasts , Those all had roomes whilst Glory and all Grace , ( But amongst beasts ) could haue no lodging place ▪ There ( by protection of th' Almighties wings ) Was borne the Lord of Lords and King of Kings , Our God with vs , our great Emanuel , Our Iesus , and our vanquisher of hell . There in a Cratch a Iewell was brought forth , More thē ten thousand thousand worlds in worth , There did the Humane nature and Diuine , The Godhead with the Manhood both combine : There was this Maiden Mother brought to bed , Where Oxen , Kine and Horses lodg'd and fed ; There this bright Queen of Queens with heauenly ioy , Did hug her Lord , her life , her God , her Boy . Her Sonne , her Sauiour , her immortall blisse , Her sole Redeemer , She might rocke and kisse . Oh blessed Lady , of all Ladies blest : Blessed for euer , for thy sacred brest Fed him that all the famisht soules did feed , Of the lost sheepe of Israells forlorne seed . A Stable being Heauen and Earths great Court. When forty dayes were ended in that sort , This Virgin Mother , and this Mayden Bride , ( All pure ) yet by the Law was purifide . Old Simeon being in the Temple than , He saw the Sonne of God , and Sonne of Man. He in his aged armes the Babe imbrac't , And ioying in his heart he so was grac't , He with these words wisht that his life might cease Lord let thy Seruant now depart in peace , Mine eyes haue seens thy great Saluation , My loue , my Iesus , my Redemption , Vnto the Gentiles euerlasting light , To Israell the glory and the might . Hope , Faith , and zeale , truth , constancy and loue , To sing this song did good old Simeon moue . Then turning to our Lady most diuine , Thy Sonne ( said he ) shall once stand for a signe , And he shall be the cause that many shall ▪ By faith or vnbeleefe arise or fall . He shall be raild vpon without desert , And then shall sorrowes sword peirce through thy heart ▪ As Iesus fame grew dayly more and more , The Tyrant Herod it amazed sore , The Sages said , borne was great Iudaes King , Which did vsurping Herod● conscience sting : For Herod was an Id●mean base , Not of the Kings of Iudahs royall Race ; And hearing one of Dauids true borne Line Was borne , he fear'd his State he should resigne : And well he knew he kept the Iewes in awe , With slauish feare not loue gainst right and law . For'tis most true : " A Prince that 's fear'd of many , Must many feare , and scarce be lou'd of any . " Herod beleaguer'd with doubts , feares and woes , That Iesus should him of his Crowne dispose , He chaf't and vext , and almost grew starke mad , To vsurpation he did murther adde : An Edict sprung from his hell hatched braine , Commanding all male Infants should be slaine , Of two yeares old and vnder through the Land , Supposing Iesus could not scape his hand . But God so Ioseph downe an Angell sent , Commanding him by flight he should preuent The Murderers malice , and to Egypt flye , To saue our Sauiour from his tyrannie . Our blessed Lady with a carefull flight , Her blessed Babe away did beare by night ; Whilst Bethelem with bloody villaines swarmes , That murdered Infants in their Mothers armes : Some slaughter'd in their Cradles , some in bed , Some at the Dugg , some newly borne strook dead , Some sweetly fast asleepe , some smiles awake , All butcher'd for their Lord and Sauiours sake : Their wofull Mothers madly heere and there , Ran rending of their cheeks , their eyes , and hayre , The Tyrant they with execrations curst , And in despaire , to desperate Acts out-burst : Some all in fury end their wofull liues By banefull poyson , halters , or by kniues : And some to sorrow were so fast combind , They wept , and wept , and wept themselues starke blind : And being blinde , ( to lengthen out their mones ) They peic'd their sorrows out with sighs & grones . Thus with vnceasing griefe in many a Mother , Teares , sighs and grones , did one succeed the other . But till the tyrant Herods dayes were done , The Virgin staid in Egypt with her sonne . Then blacke to Nazareth they return'd againe . When twelue yeares age our Sauiour did attaine , Her Sonne , her selfe , her husband , all of them Together traueld to Ierusalem ; The Virgin there much sorrow did endure , The most pure mother lost her Childe more pure , Three daies with heauy harts , with care & thought Their best belou'd they diligently sought . But when she found her Lord she held most deare , Ioy banisht griefe , and loue exiled feare . There in the Temple Iesus did confute The greatest Hebrew Doctors in dispute . But Doctors all are dunces in this case , To parley with th' eternall Sonne of Grace : Th' immortall mighty Wisedome and the Word Can make all humane sapience meere absurd . Soone after this ( as ancient writers say ) God tooke the Virgins virgin-spouse away , Good Ioseph di'de and went to th'heauenly rest , Blest by th' Almighties mercy 'mongst the blest . Thus Mary was of her Good-Man bereft , A Widow , Maiden , Mother being left , In holy contemplation she did spend Her life , for such a life as ne're shall end . Search but the Scriptures as our Sauiour bid , There shall you finde the wonders that he did : As first how he ( by his high power diuine ) At Canaa turned water into wine : How he did heale the blind , deafe , dumb and lame : How with his word he windes and seas did tame : How he from men possest , fiends dispossest : How he to all that came gaue ease and rest : How with two fishes , and fiue loaues of bread , He fed fiue thousand : how he rais'd the dead : How all things that he euer did or taught , Past , and surpast all that ere taught or wrought : And by these miracles , he sought each way To draw soules to him , too long gone astray , At last approacht the full prefixed time , That Gods blest Sonne must die for mans curst crime , Then Iesus to Ierusalem did goe , And left his mother full of griefe and woe , Oh woe of woes , and griefe surpassing griefe , To see her Sauiour captiu'd as a theefe : Her loue ( beyond all loues ) her Lord , her all , Into the hands of sinfull slaues to fall . If but a mother haue a wicked son , That hath to all disordered orders runne , As treasons , rapes , blasphemings , murder , theft , And by the law must be of life bereft ; Yet though he suffer iustly by desert , His suffering surely wounds his mothers heart . Suppose a woman hath a vertuous child , Religious , honest , and by nature milde , And he must be to execution brought , For some great fault he neuer did nor thought , And she behold him when to death hee 's put , Then sure tormenting griefe her heart must cut . These griefes are all as nothing vnto this , Of this blest mother of Eternall blisse : Her gracious Sonne that neuer did amisse , His gracelesse seruant , with a Iudas kisse , Betraid him vnto misbeleeuing slaues , Where he was led away with bills and staues . To Annas , Caiphas , Pilat , and to those , That to th' immortall God were mortall foes . Ah Iudas couldest thou make so base account Of him , whose worth doth heauen and earth surmount ? Didst thou esteeme of ●0 paltry pence , More then the life of the Eternall Prince ? O monstrous blindnesse , that for so small gaine Souldst endlesse blisse to buy perpetuall paine . Is 't possible damn'd auarice could compell Thee sell heauens kingdome for the sincke of hell ? Our father Adam vnto all our woes , Did for an Apple blessed Eden lose : And Esau borne a Lord , yet like a slaue His birth-right for a messe of pottage gaue : And poore Ghehezi telling of a lye , His couetousnesse gain'd his leprosie . And though the text their deeds do disalow , Yet they made better matches farre then thou . I do not here impute this deed of shame On Iudas , because Iudas was his name : For of that name there haue beene men of might , Who the great battels of the Lord did fight ; And others more . But sure this impure blot Stickes to him , as hee 's nam'd Iskarryott ; For in an Anagram Iskarryott is By letters transposition , traytor kis . ISKARRYOTT Anagramma TRAYTOR KIS. KIsse Traytor , kisse with an intent to kill , And cry all haile , when thou dost meane al ill ; And for thy fault no more shall Iudas be A name of treason and foule Infamie , But all that fault I 'le on Iskarryot throw , Because the Anagram explanes it so . Iskarryot , for a bribe , and with a kisse , betraid his Maister , the blest King of blisse ; And after ( but too late ) with conscience wounded , Amaz'd , and in his senses quite confounded , With crying woe , woe , woe on woe on me , I haue betraid my Maister for a fee , Oh I haue sinned , sinned past compare , And want of grace & faith , plucks on despaire ▪ Oh too-too late it is to call for grace ! What shall I doe ? where is some secret place , That I might shield me from the wrath of God ? I haue deseru'd his euerlasting rod. Then farewell grace , and faith , and hope and loue , You are the guifts of the great God aboue , You onely on th'elect attendants be ; Despaire , hell , horror , terror is for me , My haynous sinne is of such force and might 'T will empt th'exchequer of Gods mercy quite : And therefore for his mercy I 'le not call ; But to my iust deseru'd perdition fall . I still most gracelesse , haue all grace withstood , And now I haue betraide the guiltlesse bloud . My Lord and Maister I haue sold for pelfe , This hauing said , despairing hang'd himselfe . There we leaue him , and now must be exprest Something of her , from whom I haue digrest . The Virgins heart with thousand griefes was nipt , To see her Sauiour flouted , hated , whipt , Despitefulnesse beyond despight was vs'd , And with abuse , past all abuse abus'd : His apprehension grieu'd her heart full sore , His cruell scourges grieu'd her ten times more , & when his blessed head with thorns was crown'd Then flouds of griefe on griefe , her soule did woūd , But then redoubled was her griefe and feare , When to his death his Crosse she saw him beare , And lastly ( but alas not least nor last ) When he vpon the tree was nayled fast , With bitter tears , & deepe heart-wounding grones , With sobs , and sighs , this maiden Mother mones , What tongue or pen can her great griefe vnfold When Christ said , Woman now thy Sonne behold ? That voyce ( like Ice in Iune ) more cold and chill ▪ Did dangerously wound , and almost kill : Then ( as old Simeon prophesied before ) The sword of sorrow through her heart did gore , And if 't were possible all womens woes , One woman could within her brest enclose , They were but puffes , sparks , moale-hils , drops of raine To whirl-winds , meteors , kingdomes or the main , Vnto the woes , griefes , sorrowes , sighes and teares , Sobs , gronings , terrors , and a world of feares , Which did beset this Virgin on each side , When as her Sonne , her Lord and Sauiour di'de . Thus he , to whom compar'd , all things are drosse , Humbled himselfe to death , euen to the Crosse : He that said Let there be , and there was light , He that made all things with his mighty might , He by whom all things haue their life and breath , He humbled himselfe vnto the death ; Vnto the death of the curst crosse : this he , This he , this he of hee s did stoope for me : For me this welspring of my soules reliefe , Did suffer death , on either hand a Theife , The one of them had run a theeuing race , Rob'd God of glory and himselfe of grace ; He wanted liuely faith to apprehend To end his life , for life that ne'ere shall end : With faithlesse doubts his minde is armed stiffe , And doth reuile our Sauiour with an If , If that thou be the Sonne of God ( quoth he ) Come from the Crosse , and saue thy selfe and me : The other Theife , arm'd with a sauing faith Vnto his fellow turn'd , and thus he saith : Thou guilty wretch , this man is free and cleare From any crime for which he suffers here : We haue offended , we haue iniur'd many , But this man yet did neuer wrong to any ▪ We iustly are condemn'd , he false accus'd ▪ He hath all wrong , all right to vs is vs'd , He 's innocent , so are not thou and I ; We by the law are iustly iudg'd to die : Thus the good theife euen at his latest cast Contrary to a theife spake truth at last : And looking on our Sauiour faithfully , ( Whilst Christ beheld him with a gracious eye ) These blest words were his prayers totall summe , O Lord when thou shalt to thy kingdome come Remember me . Our Sauiour answer'd then ( A doctrine to confute despairing men ) Thou ( who by liuely faith laist hold on me ) This day in Paradise with me shal● be . Thus as this Theifes life was by theft supply'd , So now he stole Heauens Kingdome when he dy'd . And I doe wish all Christians to agree , Not'liue as ill , but dye as well as he : Presumptious sinnes are no way here excus'd , For here but one was sau'd , and one refus'd : Despaire for sinnes , hath here no rule or ground , For as here 's one was lost , so one was found , To teach vs not to sinne with wilfull pleasure , And put repentance off , to our last leasure : To shew vs ( though we liu'd like Iewes & Turks ) Yet Gods great mercy is aboue his workes . To warne vs not ' presume , or to despaire , Heer 's good example in this theiuing paire . These seas of care ( with zealous fortitude ) This Virgin pas'd amongst the multitude . ( Oh gracious patterne of a sex so bad ) Oh the supernall patience that she had , Her zeale , her constancy , her truth , her loue , The very best of women her doth proue . Maids , wiues , & mothers , all conforme your liues To hers , the best of women , maids , or wiues . But as her Sonnes death made her woes abound , His Resurrection all griefe did confound : She saw him vanquish't and in glorious , And after saw him Victor most victorious : She saw him in contempt to lose his breath , And after that she saw him conquer death : She saw him ( blest ) a cursed death to dye , And after saw him rise triumphantly : Thus she that sorrowed most had comfort most , Ioy doubly did returne , for gladnes lost . And as before her torments tyranniz'd , Her ioy could after not be equaliz'd ; Her Sonnes ( all wondred ) resurrection , Her Sauiours glorious ascention , And last the holy Ghost from heauen sent downe , These mighty mercies all her ioyes did crowne . Suppose a man that were exceeding poore Had got a thousand tunnes of golden ore , How would his heart be lifted vp with mirth , At this great masse of treasure ( most part earth ) But to be rob'd of all in 's height of glory , Would not this lucklesse man be much more sory Then euer he was glad ? for in the minde , Griefe more then ioy doth most abiding finde . But then suppose that after all this losse , The gold is well refined from the drosse , And as the poore man doth his losse complaine , His wealth ( more pure ) should be restor'd againe . Amid'st his passions ( in this great reliefe ) I doubt not but his ioy would conquer griefe . Euen so our blessed Lady hauing lost Her ioy , her Iewell she esteemed most , Her all in all , the heauen and earths whole treasure , Her gracious heart was grieued out of measure , But when she found in him triumphant state , No tongue or pen her ioy could then relate : She lost him poore and bare , and dead , and cold , She found him rich , most glorious to behold : She lost him when vpon his backe was hurld , The burthen of the sinnes of all the world : She lost him mortall , and immortall found him , for crown of thorns , a crown of glory crownd him . Thus all her griefes , her losse , her cares and paine , Return'd with ioyes inestimable gaine . But now a true relation I will make How this blest Virgin did the world forsake , T' is probable , that as our Sauiour bid Saint Iohn to take her home , that so he did , And it may be suppos'd she did abide With him , and in his house vntill she di'de . Iohn did out liue th'Apostles euery one , For when Domitian held th' Emperiall throne , To'th Ile of Pathmos he was banisht then , And there the Reuelation he did pen , But whilst Iohn ar Ierusalem did stay , God tooke the blessed Virgins life away , For after Christs ascension it appeares , She on the earth suruiued fifteene yeares , Full sixty three in all she did indure , A sad , glad pilgrimage , a life most pure : At sixty three yeares age , her life did fade , Her soule ( most gracious ) was most glorious made Where with her Son , her Sauiour , her Lord God , She euerlastingly hath her abode , In such fruition of immortall glory , Which cannot be discrib'd in mortall story : There mounted ( meeke ) she sits in Maiestie , Exalted there is her humility , There she that was adorned full of Grace ▪ Beholds her Maker and Redeemers face . And there is she amongst all blessed spirits ) ( By imputation of our Sauiours merits ) She there shall euer and for euer sing Eternall prayse vnto th' Eternall King. When she had payd the debt that all must pay , When from her corps her soule was past away : To Getsemany , with lamenting cheare , Her sacred body on the beere they beare . There in the earth a Iewell was interd , That was before all earthly wights preferd , That holy wife , that mother , that pure maid , At Getsemany in her graue was laid . Lenuoy . This worke deserues the worke of better wit , But I ( like Pilate ) say , What 's writ is writ : If it be lik'd : poore artles I am glad , And Charity I hope will mend what 's bad . I know my selfe the meanest amongst men , The most vnlearned'st that ere handled pen : But as it is into the world I send it , And therefore pray commend it , or come mend it ▪ FINIS . 
A13463	----	The scourge of basenesse, or, The old lerry with a new kicksey, and a new cum twang with the old winsye wherein Iohn Taylor hath curried or clapperclawed, neere a thousand of his bad debters, who will not pay him vpon his returnes from Scotland, Germany, Bohemia, the voyages of the paper boate, and his nauigations to Yorke and Salsbury with Oates. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1624 Approx. 43 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 24 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13463 STC 23768 ESTC S1147 21467571 ocm 21467571 24005 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13463) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 24005) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1737:4) The scourge of basenesse, or, The old lerry with a new kicksey, and a new cum twang with the old winsye wherein Iohn Taylor hath curried or clapperclawed, neere a thousand of his bad debters, who will not pay him vpon his returnes from Scotland, Germany, Bohemia, the voyages of the paper boate, and his nauigations to Yorke and Salsbury with Oates. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [47] p. Printed by N.O. for Mathew Walbancke, dwelling in Grayes Inne ... London : [1624] Epistle dedicatory signed: Iohn Taylor. T.p. cropped at bottom with loss of imprint date; date of imprint suggested by STC (2nd ed.) and NUC pre-1956 imprints. Signatures: A-C⁸. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Debt. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-07 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 Jennifer Kietzman Sampled and proofread 2002-08 Jennifer Kietzman Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion The Scourge of Basenesse . OR The old Lerry with a new Kicksey , and a new cum twang with the old Winsye . VVherein Iohn Taylor hath curried or clapperclawed , neere a thousand of his bad Debters , who will not pay him vpon his Returnes from Scotland Germany , Bohemia , the voyages of the paper boate , and his Nauigations to Yorke and Salsbury with Oares . My Debters like seauen Eeles with slipry tailes , One sort 1 catch , sixe slips away and failes . London , Printed by N. O. for Mathew Walbanck● , dwelling in Graves 〈…〉 TO THE MIRROR OF GOOD FELLOWSHIP , THE PATterne of true Friendship , and the onely nonparallell of iouiall Entertainment ; Mr. Andrew Hilton , at the signe of the horshooe , at Daintree ; I. Taylor wisheth dayly increase of good Guests , tue payment , hearts content in this life , and afterward as much happines as his soule can desire . KInd Sir , I haue seene oftentimes men offering to snusfe a candle , haue against their wills put it cleane out ; and an vnskilfull Chirurgian taking a small greene wound in hand , hath brought it to an old Vlcer . I would be loath , for my part , to imitate either of these examples ; for my intent is , confession of the wrong I did you : and an endeauour to make amends . I doe confesse that I did you wrong in print , in my booke of my Trauels to Scotland , and now in print , I doe make you a publike satisfaction ; For , I protest to God , that I haue heard so much good report of you , that I am double sorry that I was so mistaken , and that I haue beene so long time before I haue printed my recantatiō . It was your Tapsters want of wit and manners , and my want of discretion , that was the grounds of my too much credulity and temerity . For his part I wish him no more harme , but that chalke may bee his best payments , Thunder may sowre his Hogsheads , Rats gnaw out his spigots at midnight , and himselfe to commit his witte to the keeping of a foole or a knaue while heliues ; And your hostlers , for gaping so greedily like gudgeons vpon mee , I pray that they may euery day mourne in litter and horse-dung . But these are but Iests by the way , for as many as knowes you , haue told mee that if you had beene at home , my entertainment had been better : if it had beene so , it had bin more then you owed me , and more then I at that time could haue required : but I would haue stretched my wit vpon the tenters of Inuention , in the praise of Innes and Inkeepers ; I would haue put the forgetfull world in minde of the good seruice that Rahab the Inne-keeper did at Iericho , in hiding and preseruing the spyes that were sent by Caleb and Ioshua ; I would haue made the obliuious logger-headed Age remember , that the Redeemer of the world did grace an Inne with his blessed birth : What place then but an Inne was the High Court of Heauen and Earth , the residence & lodging of the immortall King , of neuer-ending eternity ? This and more I would haue done , but what is past cannot be recalled , and it is too late to put olde omittings to new committings . And so my noble and thrice worthy hoste of hostes , I omit not to commit you and yours to the protection of him that made you , desiring you to take this merry Pamphlet in good part , or in earnest of my better amends , and as a qualifier of your Iust anger . Yours in the best of his eudeauours to be commanded , IOHN TAYLOR . To the Reader . MY hearty condemnations , I send forth , Vnto a crew of Rascals , nothing worth , ( Yet in some sort I wrong their high reputes Some of them are worth hanging for their sutes ) Such as ( to pay debts ) haue the meanes , not mindes , Whose words , and bonds , are coustant as the windes , Such as thinke satisfaction is a sinne , And he most veriuous that 's in debt most in , Such for whose sakes , ( to my aparent losse ) To Germany , I twice the Seas did crosse , To Scotland all on foot , and backe from thence , Not any Coyne about me for expence , And with a Rotten weake Browne paper Boate , To Quinborough , from London I did floate : Next to Bohemia , o're the raging maine , And troublous lands , I went , and came againe . Next with a Wherry , I to Yorke did Ferry , Which I did finde a voyage very merry . And lastly , late I made a desperate launte , From Famous London , ( sometimes Troynou●nte ) To Salisbury , through many a bitter blast , I , Rockes , and Sands , and foaming Billowes past , That in ten thousand mouthes , the City round , The lying , flying , newes was , I was drown'd : But I may see them hang'd before that day , Who are my Debtors , can , and will not pay : These toyle some passages I vndertooke , And gaue out Coyne , and many a hundred Booke , Which these base Mungrels tooke , and promist me To giue me siue for one , some foure , some three : But now these Hownds , no other pay affords , Then shifting , scornefull lookes , and seuruy words ; And sure I thinke , if I should harrow Hell. Where Diuels , and cursed Reprobates do dwell , I might finde many there , that are their betters , And haue more conscience , then my wicked debtors . Thus to my seauen-fold troope of friends and foes , My thankes , and angry Muse , thus onward goes . The VVhy and the VVherefore . I Haue published this Pamphlet , to let my rich debtors vnderstand , that as often as I meete them , I doe looke that they should pay mee : and although I am shamefaste in not asking my due , yet I would not haue them shamelesse in detaining it from me , because the summes are but small , and very easie for them ( in generall ) to pay , and would do me a particular good to receiue . Secondly , I haue sent this into the world , to informe some , that through their want doe shun and auoid my sight and company , that they are much deceiued in my disposition : for I euer did esteeme an honest heart and a willing minde , as well as their performances . Thirdly , there are some great men , who by reason of their extraordinary imployments , my small acquaintance , and lesse meanes of accesse vnto them , with my want of impudencie , and their mens want of courtesie to informe them , all these are lets , and demurres , against my satisfaction Lastly , the daily abuses that I haue concerning the booke of my Trauels , wherein I am accused for lies , and falsifications ; but I doe and euer will stedfastlie stand to the truth of euery title of it , except the a-buse that I did to Maister Hilton at Daintree , & that was not done on known malice neither , but on blinde ignorant information : and there is a second Edition of my bookes of ●●auels comming foorth , wherein I will Satyrize , Cauterize , and Stigmatize all the whole kennell of curres that dares maliciouslie snarle against manifest , apparant , and well knowne truths . In the meane space , you that are my debtors , if you please to pay me , you shall therin put your selues out of a bad number amongst which you yet are placed : if you will not pay me , take this bone to gnaw vpon , That I doe hope to be euer better furnished with mony , then you shall be with honestie . I. T. A Table of the generall heads , containing seauen parts . 1 THose that haue paid . 2 Those that would pay if they could . 3 Those that walke inuisible , and are not to be found , 4 Those that say they will pay , who knowes when . 5 Those that are dead . 6 Those that are fled . 7 Those Rorers that can pay , and wil not . Those that To euer meane to pay , Nothing at all this booke doth sar : To such my Satyre talketh still , As haue not paid , nor euer will. A Kicksey Winsey , OR A Lerry Come-Twang : Wherein Iohn Taylor hath Satyrically suted 750. of his bad debtors , that will not pay him for his returne of his tourney from Scotland . 1. My thankes to those that haue paid . YOu Worthy Worthyes , of that liberall Tribe , Who freely gaue your words , or did subscribe : And were not itch'd with the vaine-glorious worme , To write and lie , but promise and performe , Black Swans of Brittaine , I ptotest you are , And seeme ( to me ) each one a Blazing Starre ; For this inconstant Age so few affoords Of men , whose deeds do counterpoise their words , That finding one , me thinkes I see a wonder , More then Decembers Fruit , or Winters Thunder , Ingratitude , I hold a vice so vile , That I could ne're endur 't a breathing while , And therefore , ere I 'le prooue a thanklesse Iade , Time in his course shall runne quite retrograde ; Yea , euery thing shall hate his proper kind , Before I 'le harbour an ingratefull mind : And still I vow to quit you in some part , With my best wishes , and a thankefull heart : So much to you , my Muse hath sung , or said Whose louing bounties hath the Sculler paid . 2. Those that would pay if they could . ANd as for you that would pay , if you could , I thank you , though you do not as you should You promis'd faire , and wrote as free as any , But Time hath altered since , the case with many ; Your monyes , like low Tides , are eb'd too low , And when 't is lowest 't will begin to flow . To seek a breech from breechlesse men'twere vaine , And sruitlesse labour would requite my paine : It were no Charity ( as I suppose ) To bid one wipe his nose , that wants a nose ; And sure my Conscience would be lesse then little , T' enrich my selfe , by robbing of the Spittle : No , honest friends ( to end this vaine dispute ) Your barren states may spring , & bring forth fruite ; Your wills are good , and whilst I keepe your bills Instead of paiment I accept good wills ; On hope and expectation I will feede , And take your good endeauours for the deede : Praying that Crosses in your minds may cease , And Crosses in your purses may increase . 3. Those that are hard for me to finde , and being found , were better lost . ANother sort of debtors are behinde , Some I know not , and some I cannot finde : And some of them lies here and there , by spirts , Shifting their lodgings oftner then their shirts . Perchance I heare where one of these men lies , And in the morning vp betimes I rise , And finde in Shorditch where he lodg'd a night ; But he to Westminster hath tane his flight . Some two dayes after thither doe I trot , And finde his lodging , but yet finde him not , For he the night before ( as people tell ) Hath tane a chamber about Clarken-well . Thither go I , and make a priuy search , Whilst he 's in Southwark , neer S. George his Church , A pox vpon him , all this while thinke I , Shall I ne're finde out where my youth doth lie ? And hauing sought him many a weary bout , At last perhaps I finde his chamber out : But then the Gentleman is fast in bed , And rest hath seas'd vp on his running head ; He hath tooke cold with going late by water , Or sate vp late at Ace . Deuse , Trey , and Cater , That with a Sinke of fiftie peeces price , He sleepes till noone before his Worship rise ; At last he wakes ; his man informes him straight , That I at dore doe on his pleasure waite ; Perhaps I am requested to come neere And drinke a cup of either ale or beere , Whilst sucking English fire , and Indian vapor , At last I greete him with my bill of paper : Well Iohn ( quoth he ) this hand I know is mine , But I this day doe purpose to goe dine At the halfe Moone in Milke-street , prethee come , And there we 'le drinke , and pay this petty Summe , I take my leaue , he in his sleeue doth laugh Whilst I beleeue him ( like Iohn hold my staffe ) I in the Tauerne stay , and waite his pleasure , And he to keep his word can finde no leasure . Thus many a street by me recrost , and crost I in and out , and to and fro , am tost . And spend my time and coyne to finde one out , Which hauing found , rewards me with a flout . In this base fashion , or such like as this , To me their scuruy dayly dealing is : As one 's in 's study , t'others deep in talke , Another's in his Garden gone to walke : One's in the barbers suddes , and cannot see , Till chin and chaps are made a Roman T : And for his making thus a Gull of me , I wish his cut may be the Graecian P. These men can kisse their clawes , with Iack how is 't And take and shake me kindly by the fist , And put me off with dilatory cogges , And sweare and lye , worse then a sort of dogs , Protesting they are glad I am return'd , When they 'd be gladder I were hang'd or burn'd . Some of their pockets are oft stor'd with chinke , Which they had rather waste on drabs , dice , drinke , Then a small pelty summe to me to pay , Although I meete them euery other day ; For which to ease my mind to their disgrace , I must ( perforce ) in Print proclaime them base ; And if they pay me not ( vnto their shames ) I 'le print their trads , their dwellings & their names , That boyes shall hisse them as they walke along , Whilst they shal stink , & do their breeches wrong : Pay then , delay not , but with speed disburse , Or if you will , try but who 'le haue the worse . 4. Those that will and doe dayly pay me in drinke and smoake . A Fourth crew I must drop from out my quill , Are some that haue not paid , yet say they will : And their remembrance giues my muddy mood , More ioy then of those that will ne`re be good . These fellowes my sharpe Muse shall lash but soft , Because I meete them to their charges oft , Where at the Tauerne ( with free frollick hearts ) They welcome me with pottles , pints , and quarts ; And they ( at times ) will spend like honest men , Twelue shillings , rather then pay fiue or ten . These are Right Gentlemen , who beare a mind To spend , and be as liberall as the wind : But yet their bounty ( when they come to pay ) Is bountifull in nothing but delay . These I do neuer seeke from place to place , These make me not to runne the wildgoose chase ; These do from day to day not put me off , And in the end reward me with a scoffe . And for their kindnesse , let them take their leasure , To pay or not pay , let them vse their pleasure Let them no worser then they are , still proue Their powrs may chance out-do me , not their loue ; I meete them to my perill , and their cost , And so in time there 's little will be lost . Yet the old prouerb I would haue them know , The horse may statue the whilst the grasse doth grow . 5. Those that are dead . A Fift sort ( God be with them ) they are dead , And euery one my quittance vnder 's head : To aske them coyne , I know they haue it not , And where nought is , there 's nothing to be got . I 'le neuer wrong them with inuectiue lines , Nor trouble their good heires , or their as-sigues . And some of them , their liues losse to me were , In a large measure of true sorrow deere ; As one braue Lawyer , whose true honest spirit Doth with the blest celestiall soules inherit . He whose graue wisedome gain'd preheminence , To grace and fauour with his gracious Prince ; Adorn , d with learning , lou'd , approu'd , admir'de , He , my true friend , too soon to dust retir'de . Besides , a number of my worthy friends ( To my great losse ) death brought vnto their ends . Rest gentle spirits , rest , with Eternizing , And may your corpes haue all a ioyfull rising : There 's many liuing , euery day I see , Who are more dead then you in pay to me . 6. Those that are sled . A Sixt , with tongs glib , like the tayles of eeles , Hath shew'd this land and me foule pairs of heels To Ireland , Belgis Germany , and France . They are retir'de to seeke some better chance . T' was their vnhappy inauspicious Fate , The Counters , or King Luds vnlucky Gate ; Bonds being broke , the stones in euery street , They durst not tread on , lest they burnt their feete ; Smoke by the pipe , and ginger by the race , They lou , d with Ale , but neuer lou'd the Mace. And these mens honesties are like their states , At piteous , wofull , and at low priz'd rates ; For partly they did know when they did take My bookes , they could no satisfaction make . And honesty this document doth teach That man shall neuer striue aboue his reach , Yet haue they reacht , and ouerreacht me still , To do themselues no good , and me much ill . But farewell friends , if you againe doe come , And pay me either all , or none , or some : I looke for none , and therefore still delay me , You onely doe deceiue me if you pay me . Yet that deceit from you were but my due ; But I looke ne're to be deceiu'd by you . Your stockes are poore , your Creditors are store , Which God increase , and decrease , I implore . 7. Those that are as farre from honesty as a Turke is from true Religion . SEuenthly , and last's a worthy worthlesse crew , Such as heau'n hates , & hell on earth doth spew , And God renounce , & dam them , are their praiers , Yet some of these sweete youths are good mens heires : But vp most tēderly they haue bin brought And all their breeding better fed then taught : And now their liues floate in damnations streame , To stab , drab , kil , swil , tear , swear , stare , blaspheme : In imitation worse then diuels apes , Or Incubusses thrust in humane shapes : As bladders full of others wind is blowne , So selfe-conceit doth puffe them of their owne : They deeme their wit all other men surpasses , And other men esteem them witlesse asses . These pucksoyst cockbrain'd coxcōbs , shallow pated . Are things that by their Taylors are created ; For they before were simple shapelesse wormes , Vntill their makers lick'd them into sormes . T' is ignorant Idolatry most base , To worship Sattin Sathan , or gold lace ; T' adore a veluet varlet , whose repute Stinkes odious , but for his perfumed suite . If one of these to serue some Lord doth get , His first taske is , to sweare himselfe in debt : And hauing pawn'd his soule to Hell for oathes . He pawnes those othes for newfoūd fashiō clothes . His carcasse cased in this borrowed case , Imagines he doth me exceeding grace ; If when I meete him , he bestowes a nod , Then must I thinke me highly blest of God. Perhaps ( though for a Wood-cocke I repute him , ) I vaile my bonnet to him , and salute him : But sure my salutation is as euill , As Infidels that do adore the Diuell . For they do worship Sathan for no good , Which they expect from his infernall mood , But for they know he 's author of all ill , And o're them hath a power to spoyle and kill● They therefore doe adore him in the durt , Not hoping any good , but fearing hurt . So I do seeme these mimmicks , to respect Not , that from them I any good expect ; ( For I from dogs dung can extract pure honey , As soone as from these widgeons get my money ) But I ( in courtesie ) to them haue b●●de , Because they shall not say , I ●m growne prowde ; And sure if harmelesse true humillity , May spring from money wanting pouerty , I haue of debtors such a stinking store , Will make me humble , for they 'le keepe me poore . And though no wiser then flat fooles they be , A good lucke on them thei 're too wise for me ; They with a courtly tricke , or a flim flam , Do nod at me , whilst I the noddy am : One part of Gentry they will ne're forget , And that is , that they ne're will pay their debt . To take , and to receiue , they hold it fit , But to requite , or to restore's no wit. Then let them take and keepe , but knocks , and pox , And all diseases from Pandora's box . And which of them sayes that I raue or raile , Let him but pay , and bid me kisse his T. But sure the Diuell hath taught them many a trick , Beyond the numbring of Arithmetick . I meete one , thinking for my due to speake , He with euasions doth my purpose breake , And askes what news I heare from France or Spain , Or where I was in the last shower of raine ; Or when the Court remooues , or what 's a clock , Or wher 's the wind ( or some such windy mock ) With such sine scimble , scemble , spitter , spatter , As puts me cleane besides the mony-matter . Thus with poore mungrell shifts , with what , where , when , I am abused by these things , like men . And some of them doe glory in my want , They being Romists , I a Protestant : Their Apostaticall iniunctions faith , To keepe their faith with me , is breach of faith : For 't is a Maxim of such Catholicks , T is Meritorious to plague Hereticks ; Since it is so , pray pay me but my due , And I will loue the Crosse as well as you . And this much further I would haue you know , My shame is more to aske , then yours to owe : I begge of no man , 't is my owne I craue , Nor do I seeke it but of them that haue : There 's no man was inforc'd against his will , To giue his word , or signe vnto my bill . And is 't not shame , nay more then shame to heare , That I should be return'd aboue a yeare , And many Rich-mens words , and bils haue past , And tooke of me both bookes , both first and last , Whilst twice or thrice a weeke , in euery streete , I meete those men , and not my mony meete . Were they not able me amends to make , My conscience then , would sooner giue then take ; But most of those I meane , are full purs'd Hindes , Being beggerly in nothing but their mindes : Yet sure me thinkes , if they would do me right , Their mindes should be as free to pay , as write . Neer threescore pounds , the books I 'm sure did cost Which they haue had from me , and I thinke lost : And had not these mens tongues so forward bin , Ere I my painfull iourney did beginne , I could haue had good men in meaner Rayment , That long ere this , had made me better payment : I made my iourney for no other ends , But to get money , and to try my friends : And not a friend I had , for worth , or wit Did take my booke , or past his word , or writ : But I ( with thankefulnesse ) still vnderstood They tooke , in hope to giue , and do me good . They took a book worth 1● . pence , & were bound To giue a Crowne , an Angell , or a pound . A Noble peece , or halfe peece , what they list , They past their words , or freely set their fist . Thus got I sixteene hundred hands and fifty . Which summe I did suppose was somewhat thrifty And now my youths , with shifts , & tricks , & cauils , Aboue seauen hundred , playes the sharking Iauils . I haue performed what I vndertooke , And that they should keepe touch with me I looke : Foure thousand , and fiue hundred bookes I gaue To many a honest man , and many a knaue ; Which bookes , and my expence to giue them out , ( A long yeere seeking this con●used rout ) I 'm sure it cost me seuenscore pounds and more , With some suspition that I went on score . Besides aboue a thousand miles I went , And ( though no mony ) yet much time I spent ; Taking excessiue labour , and great paines , In heat , cold , wet , and dry , with feete and braines : With tedious toyle , making my heart-strings ake , In hope I should content , both giue and take , And in requitall now , for all my paine , I giue content still , and get none againe . None did I say ? I 'le call that word agen , I meete with some that pay me now , and then , But such a toyle I haue those men to seeke , And finde ( perhaps ) 2 , 3 , or 4 , a weeke , That too too oft , my losings gettings be , To spend 5. crownes in gathering in of three . And thus much to the world I dare auow , That my oft walkes to get my mony now , With my expences , seeking of the same , Returning many a night home , tir'd and lame , Meeting some thirty , forty in a day , That sees me , knowes me , owes me , yet none pay . Vs'd and abus'd thus , both in towne and Court , It makes me thinke my Scottish walke a sport : I muse of what stuffe these men framed be , Most of them seeme Mockado vnto me : Some are Stand-further off , for they endeauer , Neuer to see me or to pay me neuer . When first I saw them , they appeared Rash , And now their promises are worse then trash ; No Taffaty more changeable then they , In nothing constant , but no debts to pay . And therefore let them take it as they will , I 'le canuase them a little with my quill . To all the world I humbly do appeale , And let it iudge , if well these men doe deale , Or whether for their hasenesse , 't were not fitter , That I should vse more gall , and write more bitter ? I wrot this booke before but for this end , To warne , them , and their faults to reprehend ; But if this warning will not serue the turne , I sweare by sweete Satyrick Nash his vrne , On euery pissing post , their names I 'le place , Whilst they past shame , shall shame to shew their face , I 'le hale fell Nemesis , from Dis his den , To ayde and guide my sharpe reuenging pen ; That fifty Popes Buls neuer shall roare lowder , Nor fourescore Cannons whē mē fire their powder . And sure , my wronged muse , could lines indite , So full of horror , terror , and affright , That they ( like Caine ) confessing their estates , But little better then base Reprobates ; And hang themselues in their despairing moods , But that I 'le not be guilty of their bloods . No , let such fellowes know , that Time shall try My mercie 's greater then their honesty : Nor shall my verse affoord them no such fauour , To make them saue the hangman so much labour , They are contented still to patch and palter , And I ( with patience ) wish them each a halter , They are well pleas'd to be perfidious fellowes , And my reuenge bequeathes them to the gallowes ; For I would haue them this much vnderstand , Words are but wind , 't is money that buyes land : Words buyes no food , or clothes , to giue content , Bare words will neuer pay my Landlord rent . And those that can pay Coyne , and payes but words , My minde , a mischiefe to them all affoords , I count them like old shoes , past all mens mending , And therefore may the Gallouse be their ending : If some of them would but ten houres spare From drinking , drabbing , and superfluous fare , From smoaking English fire , and heathen stinke , The most of them might well pay me my chinke . There 's no wound deeper then a pen can giue , It makes men liuing dead , and dead men liue ; It can raise honour drowned in the sea , And blaze it forth in glory , Cap. a. pea . Why it can scale the battlements of Heauen , And stellifie men 'mongst the Planets seauen : It can make mizers , peasants , knaues and fooles The scorn of goodnesse , and the diuels close stooles . Forgot had bin the thrice three worthies names , If thrice three Muses , had not writ their fames : And if it not with flatt'ry be infected , Good is by it extold , and bad corrected . Let Iudgment iudge them , what mad men are those That dare against a pen themselues oppose , Which ( when it likes ) can turne thē all to loathing To any thing , to nothing , worse then nothing . Yet e're I went , these men to write did like , And vs'd a pen more nimbly then a pike ; And writ their names ( as I suppos'd ) more willing , Then valiant souldiers with their Pikes are drilling . But this experience , by these men I finde , Their words are like their payment , all but winde , But what wind 't is , is quickly vnderstood , It is an euill winde , blowes no man good : Or else they make it to the World appeare , That writing is good cheape , and paying deare . No paper bill of mine had edge vpon it , Till they their hands and names had written on it ; And if their iudgements be not ouer-seene , They would not feare , the edge is not so keene . Some thousands , and some hundreds by the yeare Are worth , yet they their peece or halfe peece fe●●e ; They on their owne bils are a fraid to enter , And I vpon their peeces dare to v●nter : But who so at the bill hath better skill , Giue me the peece , and let him take the bill . I haue met some that odiously haue lied , Who to deceiue me , haue their names denied ; And yet they haue good honest Christian names , As Ioshua , Richard , Robert , Iohn and Iames : To cheare me with base Inhumanity , They haue denide their Christianity , A halfe piece , or a Crowne , or such a summe , Hath forc'd them falsifie their Christendom : Denying good , ill names with them agree , And they that haue ill names halfe hanged be , And sure I thinke my losse would be but small , If for a quittance they were hang'd vp all . Of such I am past hope , and they past grace , And hope and grace both past's , a wretched case . It may be that for my offences past , God hath vpon me this disturbance cast : If it be so , I thanke his Name therefore , Confessing I deserue ten times much more ; But as the Diuell is author of all ill , So ill for ill , on th' ill , he worketh still ; Himselfe , his seruants , dayly lye and lurk Mans cares on earth , or paines in hell to work . See how the case then with my debtors stands , They take the diuels office out on 's hands ; Tormenting me on earth , for passed euils , And for the diuell , doth vex me worse then diuels . In troth 't is pitty , proper men they seeme , And those that know them not , would neuer deeme That one of them would basely seeme to meddle , To be the diuels hangman or his beadle . For shame , for honesty , for both , for either , For my deserts desertlesse , or for neither Discharge your selues fiō me , you know wherefore , And neuer serue , or helpe the Diuell more . I haue heard some that Lawyers do condem , But I still must , and will speake well of them ; Though neuer in my life , they had of me Clarkes , Counsellers , or yet Aturneys fee , Yet at my backe returne , they all concurr'd And payd me what was due , and ne're demurr'd . Some Counter-serieants , when I came agen , ( Against their nature ) dealt like honest men . By wonderous accident perchance one may Grope out a needle in a loade of hay : And though a white crow be exceeding rare , A blind man may ( by fortune ) catch a Hare , So may a serieant haue some honest tricks If too much knauery doth not ouer-mix . Newgate ( the Vniuersity of stealing ) Did deale with me with vpright honest dealing . My debtors all ( for ought that I can see ) Will still remaine true debters vnto me ; For if to paying once they should incline , They would not then be debtors long of mine . But this report I feare , they still will haue , To be true debtors euen to their graue . I know there 's many worthy proiects done , The which more credit , and more coyne hath won , And 't is a shame for those ( I dare maintaine ) That breake their words , & not requite their paine : I speake to such , if any such there be , If there be none , would there were none for me . But Mr. Barnard Caluard , too well knowes , The fruites of windy promise and faire showes , With great expence , and perill , and much paine He rode by land , and crost the raging Maine In fifteene houres , he did ride and goe , From Southwarke neere to Callice , too and froe . When he to his cost , and detriment , Sbewed vs a memorable president , In finding out a speedy worthy way , For newes 'twixt France and London in one day ; And yet this well deseruing Gentleman , Is cheated of his Coyne , do what he can , From him they could both goods and money take , But to him they●●● no satisfaction make , Their promises were fiue , or ten for one , And their performances are few , or none . Therefore it is some comfort vnto me , When such a man of ranke , and note , as he , In stead of Coyne is payd with promises , My being cheated grieues me much the lesse ; Of worthy Gentlemen , I could name more , That haue past dangers both on seas and shore , And on good hopes did venture out their gold , To some that will no faith , or promise hold , But basely do detaine , and keepe backe all Th' expected profit , and the principall : Yet this one comfort may expell our crosse , Though we endure , time , coyne , and labors losse : Yet their abuse doth make our fame more great , 'T is better to be cheated , then to cheate . Except the poore , the proud , the base , the Gallant . Those that are dead , or fled , or out of Towne : Such as I know not , nor to them am knowne , Those that will pay ( of which there 's some smal nūber , And those that smile to put me to this cūber , In all they are eight hundred , and some od , But when they 'le pay me 's onely knowne to God. Some crowns , some poūds , sōe nobles , some a roial ; Some good , some naught , some worse , most bad in triall . I , like a boy , that shooting with a bow , Hath lost his shaft where weedes and bushes grow ; Who hauing search'd , and rak'd , and scrap'd , & tost To finde his arrow that he late hath lost : At last a crotchet comes into his braine , To stand at his first shooting place againe ; Then shootes , and lets another arrow flie Neare as he thinkes his other shaft may lie : Thus ventring , he perhaps findes both or one , The worst is , if he lose both , he findes none . So I that haue of bookes so many giuen , To this compared Exigent am driuen : To shoote this Pamphlet , and to ease my minde , To lose more yet , or something lost to finde , As many brooks , foords , showers of rain , & springs , Vnto the Thames their often tribute brings , These subiects paying , not their stocks decrease , Yet by those payments , Thames doth still increase : So I that haue of debtors such a swarme , Good they might do me , and themselues no harme Inuectiue lines , or words , I write nor say To none but those that can , and will not pay : And who so payes with good , or with ill will , Is freed from out the compasse of my quill . They must not take me for a Stupid asse , That I ( vnfeeling ) will let these things passe . If they beare minds to wrong me , let them know I haue a tongue and pen , my wrongs to show ; And be he ne're so briske , or neate , or trim , That bids a pish for me , a rush for him ; To me the' are rotten trees , with beauteous thinds Fayre formed caskers of deformed minds . Or like dispersed flocks of scattered sheepe , That will no pasture , or decorum keepe : So , 〈◊〉 wildely skipping into vnknowne grounds , Stray into forraine and forbidden bounds ; Where some throgh wāt , some throgh excesse haue got The scab , the worme , the murraine , or the rot . But whilst they wander guidelesse , vncontrolde , I 'le do my best to bring them to my folde ; And seeing sheepefold hurdles here are scant , I am inforced to supply that want With rayling ; and therefore mine owne to win , Like rotten forlorne sheepe , I 'le rayle them in . In defence of Aduenturers vpon Returnes . FOrasmuch as there are many , who either out of pride , malice , or ignorance , do speake harshly , and hardly of me and of diuers others , who haue attempted and gone dangerous voyages by sea with small Wherries or Boats , or any other aduenture vpon any voyage by land , either Riding , Going , or Running , alleadging that we do tempt God by vndertaking such perrilous courses ( which indeede I cannot deny to bee true ) yet not to extenuate or make my faults lesse then they are : I will heare approoue that all men in the world are Aduenturers vpon Returne , and that wee do all generally tempt the patience and long suffering of God , as I will make it appeare as followeth . Whosoeuer is an Idolater , a superstitious Hereticke , an odious and frequent swearer , or lyer , a griping vsurer , or vncharitable extortioner , doth tempt God , aduenture their soules , and vpon returne lose Heauen . Whosoeuer is a whore-maister , doth aduenture his health , and wealth , and his returnes are ●udlesse misery , beggery , and the pox . Whosoeuer doth continue , plot , or commit treason , doth aduenture his soule to the diuell , and his body to the Hang-man . Whosoeuer do marry a young and beautifull mayd , doth aduenture a great hazard for a blessing or a curse . Whosoeuer goes a long iourney , and leaues his faire wife at home , doth most dangerously aduenture for hornes , if she be not the honester . Hee that sets his hand to a bond , or passes his word for another mans debt , doth Aduenture a great hazard to pay both principall and interest . Probatumest . That Pastor who is either negligent or vncharitable in his function , doth Aduenture more then he will euer recouer . A Merchant doth Aduenture ship , and goods amongst flats , shoales , deepes , Pirates , shelues , rockes , gusts , stormes , flawes , tempests , mists , fogges , winds , seas , heates , colds , and calmes , and all for hope of profit , which often failes . That Trades-man that dayly trusts more ware then hee receiues money for , doth Aduenture for Ludgate , a breaking , or a cracking of his credit . Hee or shee who are proud either of beauty , riches , wit , learning , strength , or any thing which is transitory , and may be lost , either by fire , water , sicknesse , death , or any other casualty , doe Aduenture to be accounted vaine-glorious , and ridiculous Coxcombs . He that puts confidence in Drabs , Dice , Cards , Bals , Bowles , or any game lawfull or vnlawfull doth aduenture to be laught at for a fcole , or dye a begger vnpityed . Hee that eates , and driukes till midnight , and fights , and brawles till day-light , doth Aduenture for little rest that night . To conclude , I could name and produce aboundance more of Aduenturers , but as concerning aduenturing any more dangerous voyages to sea , with Wherries , or any extraordinary meanes , I haue done my last , onely my frailety will now and then prouoke me to aduenture vpon some of those insirmities or vices , which attend on our mortalities , which I thinke I shall bee free from committing , before my Debtors haue payd me all my money . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13463-e1120 〈◊〉 
A13460	----	The honorable, and memorable foundations, erections, raisings, and ruines, of divers cities, townes, castles, and other pieces of antiquitie, within ten shires and counties of this kingdome namely, Kent, Sussex, Hampshire, Surrey, Barkshire, Essex, Middlesex, Hartfordshire, Buckinghamshire, and Oxfordshire: with the description of many famous accidents that have happened, in divers places in the said counties. Also, a relation of the wine tavernes either by their signes, or names of the persons that allow, or keepe them, in, and throughout the said severall shires. By John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1636 Approx. 80 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 32 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13460 STC 23764A ESTC S113524 99848757 99848757 13870 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13460) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 13870) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1695:13) The honorable, and memorable foundations, erections, raisings, and ruines, of divers cities, townes, castles, and other pieces of antiquitie, within ten shires and counties of this kingdome namely, Kent, Sussex, Hampshire, Surrey, Barkshire, Essex, Middlesex, Hartfordshire, Buckinghamshire, and Oxfordshire: with the description of many famous accidents that have happened, in divers places in the said counties. Also, a relation of the wine tavernes either by their signes, or names of the persons that allow, or keepe them, in, and throughout the said severall shires. By John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [62] p. Printed for Henry Gosson, London : 1636. Running title reads: A catalogue of tavernes in ten shires about London. Signatures: A-D (-A1). Another issue of the edition with imprint "London, printed for A.M. 1636" in the imprint. 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Taverns (Inns) -- England -- Early works to 1800. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-08 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE HONORABL●… AND MEMORABL●… Foundations , Erections , Raisings , a●… Ruines , of divers Cities , Townes , Castles , and other Pieces of Antiquitie , within ten Shires and Counties of this Kingdome ; Namely , Kent , Sussex , Hampshire , Sur●… Barkshire , Essex , Middlesex , Hartfordshire Buckinghamshire , and Oxfordshire : With the Description of many fam●… Accidents that have happened , in diver●… places in the said Counties . Also , a Relation of the Wine Tavern●… either by their signes , or names of the pe●…sons that allow , or keepe them , in , and throughout the said severall Shires . By JOHN TAYLOR . LONDON , Printed for HENRY GOSSON . 1636 TO ALL THE GOOD-Fellowes in generall , and particular , that do keep , inhabit , allow , or maintaine the Wine Tavernes , or Inne Tavernes in the ten Shires and Counties before named MINE HOSTS , I Hope I am not much mistaken in calling you Gentlemen , or kind Friends ; if you be either , it is as much as I looke for , or can deserve ; you onely are the men that do truly merit the name and title of Mine Hosts , for alas , our Citie Tavernes have no other entertainment , but Welcome Gentlemen , a Crust , and What Wine will you drinke ? But you , Brave minded , and most Ioviall Sardanapalitans , have power & prerogative ( Cum Privilegio ) to receive , lodge , feast , and fe●… both man and beast ; you have the happiness to Boile , Roast , Broile and Bake Fish , Flesh , and Foole , whilst wee in London have scarse the command of a Gull , a Widgeon , or a Wood●…ock ; and for your further , and more high Reputation , the most part of your Customers come riding to your houses , where almost all our guests are footmen ; with you it is common for the Master to drinke pintes or quarts ●…ut of Pots , whilst his horse is eating of Bottles . Besides , our Citie Tavernes are not troublesome to their Clients with many various Items , and Reckonings ; but briefly , so much for Sack , Clarret , or White ; whilst you have the predominance to assault a man with 〈◊〉 Bill , and call him to a strait and strict ●…ccount , not onely for himselfe , but for the ●…oings of his horse ; the Iury is divided or ●…ven into five parts , in the manner of Lin●…y Woolsey ; namely , the Hostes , the Drawer , ●…e Chamberlaine , the Tapster , and the Hostler . Who having view'd the Bill of Inditement , They ) being themselves , Accusers , Evidence , Plaintiffe , Iury , and Iudges ; the finall Sentence is pronounced at their owne Bar of ●…ustice , where the Delinquents conscience knowing all to bee justly laid to his charge , with patience and Fortitude , suffers the irrevokeable doome to passe upon him , paies the Reckoning , puts the Bill out of all Force and Vertue , paying his Fees , hee is discharged with a Heartily Welcome . Of all , or the most part of such Accounts , Actions , Debts , or Demands , our Citie Tavernes have a long time pleaded not Guilty . They cannot ●…ee tax'd with the deadly Sin of Gluttony , nor are they troubled with the harsh musick of Trencher-Scraping , so that if I were to be transform'd , or metamorphos'd into a Hogg , I would bee loath to dwell in one of our Tavernes , because I should have such plenty of Wash , and such scarcity of Graines . But Gentlemen , though I am bold ( a little ) to play the ( — ) with you , yet I assure you , I love you well ; but for some more speciall love and favour that I beare to my selfe . I have written this my second Booke of Tavernes , I have not written Epigrams here , as I did upon the former , because in City and Country the signes and the Wines are all alike . Yet ( to give all the respectfull content that I can to my Honorable , Worshipfull , and o●…rs of my good Friends , that are to pay me money , upon the receiving , or this my ●…shing this small Booke . ) I have recorded in stead of Epigrams , some Monu●…ents of Ant●…quity , which my hope is , will ●…ee more profitable and delightfull ; And Gentlemen ( I meane you that are ingaged ●…nto mee ) in your just payment to mee , you may wo●…ke a piece of a wonder , ( which is , ●…o make a Rich Poet ; ) but alas ! that stile is as much too high for mee , as I am too low for 〈◊〉 , ( That 's a Bull ) so much the better ; for almost all men are turn'd Grasiers , and speake ●…ls familiarly , and those are the Mounsier Vomusses , who have sold their Wise Akers ●…efore they have sowed their Wilde Oates ; And these will censure harshly , any thing ●…hey understand hardly , whose knowledge is as much in the validitie and measure of a Verse , as the Asse had that judg'd the Cuckoo's song to bee sweeter than the Nightingales . I have laid the Foundation of this Project my selfe , it is a Vineyard of mine own Planting , the Grapes of mine owne Pressing , the Wine of mine owne Vintage ( or Vantage ) the Tavernes of mine owne finding , and the Vintoners my own friends , in lieu of which , I am not mine own man , but theirs , or yours , or his , or hers , that wis●…eth mee well , as far as my Intentions and Actions are Iust , Lawfull , o●… Laudable , 〈◊〉 TAYLOR . These Tavernes ( some of them ) were mistaken in the first Booke , and some of them have been set up since the said Booke was Printed ; therfore , to give satisfaction , I have here inserted them . ANgell neere St. Clements Church . Angell neere Creechurch , or Aldgate . Bull within Bishopsgate Bull without Bishopsgate . Bull or Buffles Head at Charing-Crosse . Bush in Buttolph lane . Castle without Cripplegate . 3. Cranes neere the Customhouse . Crowne neere Dowgate , that was the Dolphin . The Raine-Deere without Temple Barre . Dog , or Talbot in Long Lane. Dog neere Bishopsgate . ●…ountaine in Bloomesbury . Hart in Basing lane . Golden-fleece without Temple Bar. Greene Dragon at Breadstreet hill , was the Castle . Globe in Bedlam . Hart in Little Moorefields . Harrow in Southwarke . Hoope in Purpoole lane neere Graysin-lane . Horse neere the Bridge in Southwarke . Kings head in Southwarke . The golden Lyon in Fleetstreet . Maydenhead in Pudding lane . Mayden-he●…d in Bush-Lane . Mermayd in White Crosse street . Princes Armes in Fleetstreet late the Fountaine Princes Armes in St. Iohn street . Princes Armes in Finch Lane , was the 3 Flower de Lices . Queenes Head neere the Wardrope . Queenes Armes at Westminster . Queenes Armes in St. Martins . Rose in Turnbull street . Sun in Thames street neere Dice Key . Salutation in Bermondsey street . Ship in Butolph lane . Ship at Smithfield Pens . A CATALOGVE OF Tavernes in tenne Shires about LONDON . Kent FOr Noblemen , Knights , Gentlemen , ●…ers , Mariners ; Vertuous and ●…auteous Ladies , and Women of meanest degrees , comely , pretty , proper , handsome , cleanely , neat , and hon●…●…red with all sorts of Artificers , and 〈◊〉 with ●…full and profitable Husbandmen ; famous for ●…o most ancient Cities , ( whereof ●…ne is the 〈◊〉 Metropolitan seat of England ) It hath many faire M●…ket Townes , ●…mpregnable Castl●…s , s●…e and 〈◊〉 Havens and Harbours for S●…ipping , abo●…nce of rich Villages and Ham●…s : So that by the Almighties blessings , and the pe●…es 〈◊〉 , this ( old Kingdome ) County is for Fruit , F●… , Fl●…sh Fish , Cloth , Corne , Wood and Cattle , or 〈◊〉 or any thing that is for the use of Man to maintaine life and pleasure , Kent is , an●… hath bin renowned universally . Deptford , or Deepefourd , so called by reason o●… the deepenesse of the Fourd or River there , where Ships of great Burthen may safely Ride at Ankor , there is a faire and usefull Do●…ke for the building or mending of the Kings Ships , it hath also a goodly storehouse for provision for the said ships . Deptford is sometimes called East-Greenewich . This Towne hath these Taverne Licences or Inhabiters . The Kings Head , The Mermayd , The Sunne and the Ship : the parties that keepe or maintaine them are William Tyle , Richard Aileworth , Ieffrey Nixon , William Dring . Eltham , where the King hath a faire Sommer House , at the first it was founded by Anthony Beck Bishop of Durham , who gave it to Elinor , wife to king Edward the first , but since often Re-edified by succeeding Princes . It hath a Taverne under the name of one Nathanael Mercer . Greenewich , for scituation and prospect a Paradice of pleasure , the Pallace there was first built by Humphrey Duke of Glocester , in the Reigne of King Henry the 6. Since when it hath beene Re-edified , and made more large and sumptuous by King Henry the 7. Which Pallace also was begun be enlarged by the late vertuous Queene Anne , ●…t now finished by our gracious Queene Mary . his Towne is most famous for the Birth of that ●…dmired Wonder of her Sexe , Queene Elizabeth , ●…ho was borne there , in the yeare of Grace 1533. ●…ptember the 7. Greenewich hath these Wine Tavernes : ●…he Beare , The Crowne . The Kings Armes The ●…rinces Armes . The Rose . And ( which I should ●…ave named first ) the Ship. kept by Henry Noris . Also there is a Taverne with a Bush onely , kept ●…y Gregory Martin , and the Kings Armes at Dept●…ord bridge in Greenewich Parish . Darentfourd , so called because it is scituate on the River Darent , it is vulgarly named Dartfourd , there was once a Nunnery built by King Edward the third , which after was made a House for King Henry the 8. Where he did sometimes keepe his Court. Dartford hath these Tavernes : At the Bull , George Hanger . At the Cocke , William Somers . At the White Hart , Elizabeth Glover . Gravesend ( as the Learned Antiquary Master Camden writes ) is so called , because it is the end of the Greve Reeve , or Port Greves government , or bounds . It is a Towne famous for receipt of ●…ll Nations , having at any time more faire Lodgings , and provision for Entertainment , then many Townes hath that are thrice as great ; It ha●… oftentimes lodged Kings , Princes , and Forreig●… Ambassadors ; it is divided into two Parishe●… namely , Gravesend and Milton . It hath the Wine Tavernes . William Vernon at the Ange●… Richard Tucker at the Ship. Thomas Toung at t●… Anker . William Diston at the Bull. The Christ●…pher . Thomas Skilhorne at the Horne Seavenoake so called , because seven great Oake●… growing there abouts , it is a good Market Towne and a great thorow-fare , and hath these Tavernes The Crowne , the Cat , and the Bull ; they are Tavernes in the tuition ( or by the Licenses ) of Margery Pocock . Debora Pocock . and William Petley Tunbridge , ( or the Towne of Bridges ) so called , by reason , it hath five stone Bridges , for passage over the River ; which River is devided there into so many severall Branches ; it is lately famous for a healthfull , approved , sweet , medicinable water , that cures , or eases many diseases : The Tavernes there , are at the dispose of two women namely , Martha Bartlet , and Elizabeth Frye . Maydstone , a faire , spacious , sweet , pleasant , rich , and populous Market Towne , hath these Taverns , or Taverne keepers , Iohn Taylor , Thomas Davis , and Agnes Shorey . Rochester , is a fine N●…ate Citie , long sinc●… founded by a Bishop named Hamo : it was destroyed by Atheldred , King of the Mercians Anno 676. it hath been oftentimes spoyled by th●… Danes ; the Castle there hath been a strong piec●… of defence , it was built by a Bishop named Gun●…dulph ; it was raced , and spoyl'd in the Baron wars , in King Henry the third's Raigne . Th●… Cathedrall Church there was built by Aeth●…lber King of Kent : The goodly s●…one Bridge ther●… was built by Sir Robert Knowles , Knight , with s●…ch Spoyles as hee had valliantly gotten from th●… French in the Raigne of King Richard the second Rochester hath these Tavernes , Thomas Lovell a●… the Kings head , Dorothy Allen , or Thomas Mot , a●… the Bull , Iohn Stone . or Ambrose Groome at th●… White-hart , and Iohn Dom●…w , or Iohn Philpot a●… the Crowne . Queenburrough was built by King Edward th●… third , in the honour of Queene Phillip his Wife there is a Tavern which serves for Minster as wel●… as for Queenburrough , it is a●… the dispose or keeping of Iames Iacob . This Towne is famous for my Arrivall there ( from London thither ) with a Boa●… o●… Browne Paper , Anno 1619. Feversham , a good Towne , it was sometimes the residence of Athelstane , King of Kent ; where hee enacted Lawes : it is also famous for a sump●…uous Aboey , ●…uilt there by King Stephen , and there 〈◊〉 , Queene Mawd his wife , and his Sonne ●…ince Eustace were s●…pulchred . It hath three Ta●…ernes : at the Ship , Walter Moyses , the other two ●…elongs to S●…muell Thurstone , and Iames Hudson . At the Towne of Ashfourd , there may be three ●…avernes , for Thomas Mascall may or doth keepe ●…wo , the other doth belong to Peter Colebrand . At Chepsted one , Anthony Fuller . At Lenham one , Robert Tray. At Egerton one , Elizabeth Faireway . At Erith one , Giles Sidgwick . At Kenthatch one , Edmund Plomley . At Gowthurst one , Thomas Cowchman . At Ashe one , Iohn Tompson . At Br●…mley two , Toby Priest , Iohn Halfepenny , ●…he Bell , the Hart. At Chattham , Francis Giles . At Folkstone one , Elizabeth March. At Ferningham one , Iohn Rad●…liffe . At El●…m two , Iane Cuntrey , Robert Fox . At Crayford one , Ralph Meykins , at the Angell . At Lamberhurst , Mary Astone . At Greenehive one , Miles Croxton , the signe , Callice Sands . At Leed●…s , one Edward Lloyde . Canterbury , or the Kentish Burough or Citi●… is ancient and renowned , it hath Metropolitan dignitie , chiefe over England : Augustine the Monke●… about the 67 yeare of Christ , came into Britaine●… and at Canterbury kept his residence , where by hi●… Doct●…ine , and good example of life , hee confirmed and established many in the Christian Fait●… causing it to spread and flou●…ish by his paineful Ministery , so that after a holy and lawdable lif●… ended , hee dyed , and was buried in that Honorabl●… City . It hath these Tavernes , Elizabeth Lockley or William Terry at the Rose ; Edward Den , at th●… White-hart , Iames Penn , or George B. at the Red. Lyon , Elizabeth Bridg , at the Sarazers head , Miles Bull , or Warham Iemut , at the B●…ll , William Mann Esquire hath also a Taverne License , Robert or Susan Turner , Alias Baker , at the Ch●…quer ; Peter Winn , or Christopher Baldwin , at the Sun , 8. At Milton and Newington one , William Dickins . At Staplehurst one , VVilliam Poynet . At Wye one , Simon Allen. At Strowd one , Edward Monox . At Lewsham one , Elizabeth Tarpley . At Sandway one , Iohn White . At Mard●…n one , Anthony Young. At Yalding one , Richard Pix . At Offham one , Thomas Tresse . At New Romney , three , Susan Wood , Sara Wood , Smith Tookey . At Hawkhurst one , Agnes Viney . At Bersted one , Thomas Holford . Deale , where stands a strong defencible Castle , ●…uilt by King Henry the eight , the place is famous ●…or repulsing Iulius Caesar three times thence before hee could arrive there : it hath these three Tavernes kept by Susan Woodland , Mary Coun●…rey , and Iudith Hudson . At Crambrooke two , Ioan Kirkham , and Iohn Leigh . At Charing one , Anthony Page . At Appledore and Biddenden — William Poynit , Sandwich , so called , by reason of too much Sand , which , not onely makes sh●…ales and flats in the Sea , but also chokes up the Haven there ; it is a faire rich Towne , and one of the ●…inque Ports ; it hath had the triall of sundry alterations ; It hath been often distress'd by the Danes ; it was sack'd , spoil'd and burnt by Lewis , the Daulphin of France in the reigne of King Iohn . King Edward the first placed there a Staple for Wooll . King Edward the third did honour it with much Princely favour , since when , it was againe burnt by the French in King Henry the sixt his raigne , since which time it hath been so repaired , that it flourisheth beautifully and bountifully : there doe inhabit man●… Dutch people , who doe inrich themselves , and a●… profitable to the ●…owne , by making divers sor●… of Stuffes there . Sandwich hath these Tavernes Iohn Seymer , Axne Peyton , Hugh Rodes , Iane Woo●… Roger Paine , and Alice Barrell . At Saint Lawrence one , Katherine Hudson . At Stonecrutch one , under William Campio . Esquire . At Ospring one , Peter Greenstr●…t . At Redred , Mary Oxo●…bridge . At Penchurst one , Thomas Sexton . At Woolwich , Iohn Sims at the Hart. At Saint Mary Cray one , Edward Fleet. At Woodsgate one , Iohn Burdet . At Benenden one , William Leedes . At Blenchdy one , Elizabeth Clampard . At Wingham one ; Elizabeth Ashton . At Sunbridge one , Anne Cacot . Tenterden is 〈◊〉 good Towne for cloathing , and so is Crambrooke ( before named ) Tenterden hath two Tavernes : Mathew Outred , and Iames Glover . At Rootham and Norflect , Thomas Spencer , the Crowne . At Westram and Aeton Bridge , Anne Spencer . At Mawlin , George Huntley , may keepe two ●…vernes . At Margate , two , Averie Ienkinson , and Henry ●…ulmer . At Lid , Godfrey Martin , and Thomas Tookey . At Sutton Valience , Anne Vsm●…r . At Seale , Mabell Sandall . At Herne , Willi●…m Towlson . At Highgate , VVilliam VVarson . At Bexley and Foot●…bray Nathaniel Mercer . At Hyde Henry Hart , William N●…t . At Sittingborne , foure , Margaret Husbands , ●…nne Wood , Margaret Lawe , Thomas Rochfourd . To finish my Collections of this famous Coun●…e ; I , for my rellish to my Narration , and as an ●…xcellent seale , or E●…sterne limitation to the most ●…xcellent bounds of Kent , I close up all with Dover , a brave Towne , and one of the Cinque ●…orts , the m●…st commodi●…us place for passage too ●…nd fro betweene the mighty Kingdomes of Eng●…nd and France . It hath a good and safe Haven , ●…hich was at the first made by the command of ●…ing Henry the eight , at sixty three thousand ●…ound charges , which is called , Dover Peere : but 〈◊〉 time , all the cost being almost lost , & by the vio●…ence of the raging sea , decayed and broken , Queen Elizabeth ( of blessed memorie ) with much of her ●…wne cost , and Parliamentarie authority , enacted that a Toll upon Tonnage should be paid for some yeares , for all manner of Goods transported inward or outward . There is also an impregnable Castle , which is the strongest Hold , and Fortresse in England , commanding both by Land and Sea ; is is supposed to have been built by Iulius Caesar. Dover hath these Tavernes , Taverne keepers , or Allowers . Iohn Low , Iudith Haines , Edward Waller , Iohn Hugesson , Anthony Percivall , Trustram S●…evens . At Dover Peere be these , William Streeting , Elizabeth Alley , and William Bradshaw , to whom I dedicate these few lines : Kind friend , as thou didst once the favour gaine , Great Britaines Mightie Prince to entertaine ; So entertaine these Verses I have penn'd , As my remembrance unto thee my friend : Thou knowst ( by old experience ) that I love thee ; And if thou lov'st mee , I will one day prove thee . The County of Kent had , in King Henry the eight's raigne , at the suppression of Monasteries , Abbies , Nunneries , Priories , Frieries , Colleges , Hospitals , and ( as they termed them ) Religious houses , the number of fifty three . Kent is divided into sixty foure hundreds , or divisions ; namely , Black-heath hundred , Lesnes , Rooksley , Axtave , Broomley , Whitstaple , Milton , ●…oltingtroph , Hoo , Tencham , Shammell , Fever●…ham , Blengate , Bouton under Bleath , Kingslow , ●…etham , Westgate , Ham , Downhamford , Tenterden , Preston , Felborow , Oxney I le hundred , Black●…urne , Wye , Winham , Charte , Stowting Co●…los , Longbridge , Bi●…cholt , Franchils Calhill , Heane , Blewborough , Street , Selbright fenden , Folkstone , Worth , Eyhorne , Lovingborough , Roluinden , New-church , Maydstone , Barnesield , Kinghamford , Brinkley and Horse , Saint Martins , Chattham and Gillingham , Bredge , Langport , Twyford , Watheling stone , Larkfield , Loway and Tunbridge , Alloftbridge , Littlefield , Marden , Wortham , Barkley , Godsheath , Westram , Crambrooke and Somerden . Kent hath seventeene good Market Townes , three hundred ninety eight Parishes , and one hundred thirty seven Wine Tavernes . Sussex . SUssex , or South-Saxony , so named when there was an Heptarchy , or government of 7 King●… at once in England ; because this County was the best part of the Southsaxon Kingdom . It is a rich County , plenteous in Iron-Mines , and much goo●… Ordnance are cast there , with other necessary Iro●… works : also it is much inriched by Glass-making●… It is scituate neere the Brittish Ocean , whereby 〈◊〉 is plentifully stored with Fish : also it is Nob●… rich with Inhabitants , and all other Commoditi●… for Life and Maintenance . Arundell , A Towne famous for a goodly Cast●… there , belonging to the Earles of Arundell an●… Surrey . This towne hath two Tavernes , held b●… Mi●…as H●…g , and Elizabeth Freeman . At Chilkington , Charles Iohnson . At Witham , William Pigott . At Forrest Roe , Edw. Woodman , the Antelop . At Battle , Mathew Cowchman doth or ma●… keepe two Tavernes At Marsfield , William Mowhurst . Chichester was built by Cissa , the second Kin●… of the Southsaxons , An. 586 The Bishops See f●… the Diocesse of Sussex or Chichester , was kept an●… held at Selsey till the time of King William th●… Conquerour . Chichester hath these Tavernes●… Thomas Powsley , Anne Billet , Mary Billet , Th●…mas Billet , Thomas Ball , Mathew Ball. At Fronte , Iohn Giles . At Ditchelling , Iames Da●…y . At Newshoreham , Richard Gold. At Tarring , William Fletcher . At Hay field and Seaford , Richard Meade . At Haughton , George Coles . Petworth , a pretty Market-towne , where the ●…arle of Northumberland hath a goodly house , and ●…s an honourable and bounteous housekeeper . It ●…ath these two Tavernes , Anthony Goodman , and ●…ohn Hall. At Hartsield , Mary Shelton . At Ticehurst , Ioane Kipping . At Micheing , Samuell Towers . At Cuck field , Thomas Tasker . Horsham seemes to take derivation from Hor●… the Saxon , the brother of Hengist , the first King ●…f Kent : It hath the allowance of two Tavernes ●…der one M. Robert Deering . At Staining 2. Richard Briant , and Tho. Oliver . At Wadehurst , one Francis Wilfourd . Winchelsea was overwhelmed with the Sea , ●…n 1250. in the reigne of King Henry the third ; ●…ce when the towne is built higher out of the ●…anger or fury of the Oceans violence : but the ●…aven is decayed , to the townes great hinderance , ●…d for the commoditie and profit of the towne ●…f R●…e . Winchelsea hath one Taverner , Iohn Pettit . The towne of Midhurst hath foure Taverners , Iohn Kelsey , Anne Carus , Mary Hudson , and Ioan White . Hastings is a good and profitable Fisher-town , a Nu●…sery for Mariners and Saylors : It had a Mint to coyne Money in it , in the time of King Athelstan : and it is named the first of the ●…que Ports ; it had these ports ●…nd towns belonging to it , namely , Seaford , Pemsey , Hodney , Bulver●… , Winchelsea and Rye : all which were at any time at command of the King to set out 21 serviceable ships , for the service of their Prince and Country ( within forty dayes warning ) and to beare all the charge of the sayd shipps for the space of fifteene dayes , and the King was to be at all the charges after the fifteene dayes were expired . Hastings hath two Tavernes , Iohn Phissenden , and Francis Wennell . Lewis , a famous Market Towne , which had a Mint in it , in King Athelstanes Reigne , for his Coine of Gold and Silver , or other Mettals . It hath 6. Churches , and a goodly house belonging to the Earle of Dorset ; A mighty memorable Battle was fought there Anno 1264. betwixt King Henry the third and Simon Montfort Earle of Leaster , where the Earle tooke the King , and the King of the Romanes prisoners . Lewis hath these Taverns , or number of houses for the sale of Wines . Agnes Thurgood , Thomas Oliver , Robert Carter , and William Peake may keep two Tavernes if he will. At Lingfield Beding , and Bramborow , Richard Meade . At Billi●…ghurst , Iohn Agate . At V●…field . field , Iohn Forde . At Backesteed , Thomas Oliver . At Cliffe , Richard Meade , and William Peake . At Crawley and Worth , Iohn Peake . At Brighthelmeson , Alice Harding , and William Peake . At Barreash , Mayfield , Pemsey , and Westham , Thomas Oliver . At Dallington , Henfield , and Abfreston , Thomas Oliver . At East-Greensteed , Iohn Langridge , and Henry Baldwin : the signes at East Greensted , are the Crowne , and the Cat. Rye , is a good Towne , and was made strong by William of Ipres , ( A valiant Nobleman and Earle of Kent ) It was walled in the undefensible and weakest places by King Edward the 3. Terrible stormes and tempests hath done more for them , then they could well have done for themselves . for the blustring raging Winds hath formerly caused the violence of the Sea to make them a good Haven : but great pitty it is , for it is much decay'd . For Rye is a brave flourishing Towne , and serves London and many other places with Fish in aboundance : It hath these Tavernes in name or number . Richard Pecote . Iohn Halsey . Richard Thomas . Sussex had at the suppression of Abbyes , Nunneries , Priories , Frieries , Colledges and Hospitalls 32. This County is devided into 6. Devisions , or Hundreds , called Rapes , namely . Chichester , Arundell , Bramber , Lewis , Pemsey and Hastings . There are in Sussex 18 Market townes , 312 Parishes , and 61 Tavernes . Middlesex . MIddlesex doth ( almost ) round beguirt the two famous Cities of London and Westminster : And although I have in my former Booke made mention of many of the Tavernes neere adjoyning to the sayd Cities ; yet to make this my second narration in the better forme and order , I haue named some of the said Tavernes againe , because I would play the part of an honest true Taylor , and put in all the stuffe . At Chelsey , Richard Eeds the signe of the Dog. At Fulham , Ioseph Holden , Richard Parkes : the signes are , the Kings Armes , and the Nags head . At Hammersmith , Alice Robinson , or Thomas Warner at the white Hart and Thomas Holden at the Goat or Ant●…lop . At Chiswick , Valentine Smith at the Kings head . At Acton , Iohn Cooth●…idge , and William Aldridg : their signes are the Cock , and the Bell. At Old Br●…ntford , and New B●…entford , are these signes , the Three Pidgeons , the Halfe Moone , the Lyon , the Goat , the George the Swan . The Ga●…ter neere Hammersmith in London way towards Brentford . At Hownslow , Henry Needles , and Martha Warwick : the signes are , the Katherin Wheele , and the Georg●… . At E●…gworth , Henry Haley . At Harrow hill , Peter Iones . At Strangreene , Thomas Blithe . At Northket , Katherin Awceter . At Thistleworth , Anne Parks . At Rayslip , Margaret Price . At Kenzington , Annis Turbervill , at the Lyon. At Knightsbridge , Richard Kellway , Elizabeth Sharpe , there are three Taverne signes , G●…ave Ma●…rice , the Swan and the Rose . Uxbridge is a faire long Market towne , it hath many Innes , and foure of them be 〈◊〉 , Iohn Raynor , Edmund Morrice , Sara Hitchcock and Michael Web : The signes are , the Chequer , the George , the Crowne , and the White horse . The Toy Taverne at Hampton-Court needs no signe . At Twickenham , Anne Palmer . At Paddington , Walter Whitlock . At Kingsland , George Willis ; the signe , the King , or Princes Armes . At Newington , Iohn Usher , at the Sun. At Islington are these signes and Tavernes : the Angell , the Globe , the Lyon , the Miter , the Nags-head , the Swan , and the Sarazens head . At Kentish Towne , the Rose , Gregory Machin . At Whetstone , the Lyon , and the Princes Armes , Samuell Augier , Richard Taylor . At White-chappell , Habacuck Kirby . At South M●…mms , Thomas Avis , the Bell. At Hillingdon , Katherin Taylor . At Pinner , Margery Bateman . At Saint Giles , Iohn Prince , VVilliam Pearpoynt . At Kenton , William Bird. At Tottenham Court , Iohn Day . At Tottenham-highcrosse , Mathew Beuning , at the Sun. At Chiswell street , Samuell Taylor . At Cow-crosse , Robert Iordane . At Edmonton , Stephen Goodyere . At Highgate , at the Mermayd , Mary Sell. At Budfo●… , Thomas Weldish . At Hackney , William Gore , and William Cave : the signes are the Mermayd and the Rose . At Engfield , Elizabeth Kirby , and Mary Southwell . At Hardington , Elizabeth Osbourne . At Totnam street , Francis K●…y . At Hayes , Mary Hill. At Feltham , Robert Butler At Holloway street , Ez●…hiel Cates●… the B●…ll At Black-wall , Zachary 〈◊〉 ●…igne of the Armes of the East India Company . The Crosse at Ratcliffe , the Diagon , the Kin●…s head , the Mermayd , the Ship , the Queenes head , the Lyon , the ship at Dickshore , and the Hoope , and the three Kings . In Ratcliffe high-way , the Anker , the Garter , the Rose . At Bow , the Flower de Lice , the George , and the Kings head . At Mile end , the Nags-head . At Lime-house , Iohn Iennings . At Wapping , Iames Bull : the Bull , the Angell , the Crosse , the Dragon , the Gunne , the Ship , the Popes-head , the Rose , and the Kings head . At Popler , the Ship , the Lyon. The Bull at Stepney , and the Bull-head . These that follow hereafter named , are already in my former booke , because they are so neere to the Cities of London and Westminster , but because they are in this County of Middlesex , I will name them once more . Neere the Bowling Alley at Westminster , Henrie Normaville . 〈◊〉 Galley street , Daniel Hitche . 〈◊〉 Holborne , William Matthewes , Thomas Simcots . In Saint Iohn street , Margery Baines , and Mary Motsley . In Saint Martins in the fields , Richard Ieyner , Anne Parks , and Gertred Swan . In Silver street , Iohn Thomas . In Tuttle street , Ieffrey George . In Savoy Parish , Robert Amery , and Thomas Blunt. In the Tower Liberties , Thomas Foster . Stanes is famous for a Meadow neere it called , Rennimead or Running mead , where in the twelfe or thirteenth yeare of the raigne of King Iohn , the most part of the Lords , and great States of England met , and oppos'd the King in Warlike manner , the Lords rebelliously to compell the King , and the King to defend his person , and Royall Prerogative ; and at last ( after much councell and debating ) they forc'd the King to yield to such conditions as were never observ'd . Stanes is a good through fare , and hath these ●…avernes : Thomas Wilkins , Iohn Shorter , and Margaret Venman ; the signes are , the Bush , the Bell and the Lyon. This County had of Religious houses , a ●…es , Nunneries , Priories , Frieries , Colleges and Hospitalls , nine . London , within and without the Walles and Liberties , thirty one . It hath these hundreds , or divisions ; Edmonton , Gore , Finsbury and Wenulocks , Barne , Osulston , Elthorne , Istleworth , Spelthorne . It hath seventy three Parishes , three Market Townes , and a hundred and one Wine savernes . Essex . ESsex , or East Saxony , is a good , a great , and a rich County , stored plentifully with Wood , Fish , Flesh , Butter , Cheese , Saffron , and as good Calves as any other County , or Countrey whatsoever ; in a word , it is stored with any thing , or all things needfull . Colchester stands neere the River Colne , it is 〈◊〉 wasled Towne , with fifteene Churches , and one other , a most stately building , now ruined with an old Castle , which Time hath brought into a Consumption . This Towne is famous for Adtiquity , it was built by Coylus , a good King of Britaine , it is said that this Coylus was father to Queen Hellen , who was borne , or brought up in this Towne , she was the mother of Constantine the great Emperor , who ●…lt Constantinople . Colchester hath these seven ●…e Tavernes : Francis Kitteridg , Iohn Portkell , Lawrence Browne , Mary Spilesby , Mary Bloomfield , Elizabeth Wyles , Elizabeth Wade . At Barking , Ioan Gowen , or George Lilly at the Bull. At Braintree two , Iohn Sparhawke , and Ralph Burton . At M●…nningtree , George Springet , and Robert Heywood . At Abridge , Samuell Newbold . At So●…field , Anne Dae . At Epping , Iohn and Mary Archer at the Cock. At Grayes , Thomas Farnell & Edward Knightly . At Danbury , William Dickins . At Harlow Iohn Iosceline . At Rochfourd , Iudith Rix. At Orsed neere Graies , Anthony Web. At Raynam , Iohn Slany . At Wethersfield , Iohn Aldridge . At Sampford Magna , Ireffrey Baker . At Pritle well , Thomas Wait. At Thacksted , Edward Constable . At Stork , Charles Newman . At Woodham-series , Oliver Higham . At Springfield , Richard Smith . At Thorpe , Iohn Beriffe . At Wivenhoe , Iohn Parker . At 〈◊〉 , Dame Martha Harris . B●…entwood , or Burntwood , is an ancient Towne and had a Market and a Faire , allowed by King Stephen , and continued ever since . It hath these Tavernes : the Crowne , the Angell ; but there are three in all , kept or allowed by Richard Smith , Iane Taylor , and Iohn Camper , the Angell . At high ●…asterne , Robert Plat. At Dagnam , Ioan Bird. At Lexden , Iohn Pottler . At Leigh , Iames Hare . At Southweald , Edward Woodford . At Aveley , Lucy Ringsoll . At Saint Ozith , Thomas Rand. At Bardfield , Iohn Rudland . At South Ockenden , Elizabeth Wortley . At Dedham Iohn Wills. At Horndon , Nicholas Richold . At Upminster , Elizabeth Saward . At Tarling , Dina Has●…er . At Blackmore , Iohn P●…chy . At Little Waltham , Abel White . At Eastcolne , Samuell Burton . Ingarstone , a good Towne for Market , and excellent neate entertainment for Travellers , it hath these Tavernes : Agnis White , Iohn Bond. At Bocking , Ioan Kent , Francis Fit●…h . At Chippingange●… , Will. Stane , Katherin Stane . At Waltham Abby , Tho : More , Mary Waterer . At Walthamstow , Ralph Baker , Thomas Shaw. Rumford is a sweet , savery , cleane and gainfull Market for Hoggs , and all other sorts of swine , and of what else is needfull for mans life . It hath these Tavernes , the Angell , the Bell , the White Hart , and the Cocke . At Rawleigh , Rob. Luckin , & Tho Parker . At Dunmow , George Deane , and Agnes Gynn . At East Tiburly , Iohn French. At Boreham , Iohn Lane. At Halstead 3. William Thurstone , Iohn Coe , Thomas Harvie . At Hithe neere Colchester , Edward Legg , Francis Allen. At Ilford , Francis Blanchard , the signe of the blew Boate. Wittam , or Whittam is an ancient very faire through-faire . It was built by King Edward the Elder , in the yeare 914 ; which was 154 yeares before the Norman Conquest , 722 yeares since : It hath two Tavernes , William Nevell ( alias ) Smith , and Iohn Alexander . At Stratford Langthon two , Ralfe Keeling , and William Lovell . At Low Laighton , or Laighton stone , Roger Falkstone , the signe of the Huntsman . At Burnham , Robert Rowdon . At Hatfield Peverell , Abigail Lane. Hatfield Broadoake , so called , because a broad Oake , being a goodly faire tree grew there , that spread a great compasse . It hath one Taverne kept by or for one Iohn Earle . Chelmsford , a faire goodly Market-towne , hath these 4 Taverns , Simon Wilmot , George Solme , Nicholas Sutton , and Tho. Freeman ; the signes are , the three Tunnes , the Cock , the Black boy , and the Lyon. At Bricksley Roger Greene. At Kelvadon , Iohn Theedham . Harwich , hath an excellent good Road for shipping . It is a good strong Towne , well strengthened by Naturall scituation , and Artificiall Fortresses : it is not only full of people , but honestly peopled for the most part of them . The River Stoure there divideth Essex from Suffolke . Harwich hath three Tavernes , kept or allowed by Alice Farley , Will. Hart , and Margaret Moore . At Brookstreet at the Bull , Agmondesham Pickayes . At Chigwell one , allowed by Tho : Pennington At Plashie and St. Annes , Will. Chandler . At Much Parindon , Roger Worthington . VValden , or Saffron-walden , so called for the great quantitie of Saffron that growes thereabouts . It hath had a faire Castle , which is now Ruinated . It is a very good Market towne , and it hath a Corporation , with large Priviledges : It hath three Tavernes allowed , o●… inhabited by Simon VVillmott , Katherine Bates and Thomas VVatton . At Much Wakering , Mawd Goldingham . At newport , Iohn Sell. At Little-baddo , Abigail Lane. At Much Waltham , Abell VVhite . Maldon was a Citie in the time of Calligula the Emperour , above fourty yeares after Christ , It was then called Camallodunum : It hath beene spoyled by the Danes , and since repayred by the Normans : but by the industry of the people there , it hath beene and is still a towne of great worth and reputation : it hath a good Haven , and a Taverne for a safe harbour kept or allowed by Ursula Edwards . This Countie of Essex ( in the Reigne of King Henry 8. ) had at the suppression of Monasteries , Abbies , Nunneries , Priories , Frieries , Colledges and Hospitals , 35. Essex is divided into 20 severall Hundreds ; namely , Vltford , Hinckford , Rorchford , Chelmesford , Chaford , Winstree , Lexden , Dengie , Ougar , Tendring , Thurstable , Barstable , Dunmow , Waltham , Freshwell , Harlow , Havering , Clavering , Becontree , Wittham . Essex hath one and twenty Market townes , foure hundred and fifteene Parishes , and one hundred and seven Tavernes . Hartfordshire . HArtfordshire , is a County that surpasseth all Countries and Counties for making the best Malt ; and for good cleane High-waies , conscionable short Miles , meat , drink , lodging for travellers , kind men , women faire and honest , and with any thing that is necessary , this County is plentifully stored withall . Barkhamstead is a good Market Towne , and it had once a Castle there of strength , the Ruines of it are there yet to be seene ; it hath been the habitation for Kings and Princes , for the most noble Prince Richard , Brother to the King of England , dyed there : which Richard was King of the Romanes , and Earle of Cornewall . This Castle ruined , is also famous , for the residence there of that most Illustrious Royall Spark , Edward the Black Prince : and lastly , it is memorable for being the Birth-place of King Richard the third . Barkhamstead hath two Taverns allowed or kept by Stephen Besowth , and Francis Baker . At Tring , William Blacknall . At Stevenedge , Iohn Nodes . At Whethamstead , Thomas Stepping . At Redburne , Prudence Miles . At Sabridgeworth , Iohn Burr . At Walton , George Honor. At Colney or Coney , William Tompson . Barnet is a good Market towne for Sheepe and Beasts , it is a great thorow fare , and famous for the Battle fought neere it ( on Easter day , the 14th of Aprill , 1471 ) betwixt King Edward the 4 and the Earles of Warwick and Oxford , where Warwick was ●…ine , and with great slaughter of men on both sides , King Edward had a bloudy victory . Barnet hath these Tavernes : Iohn Brisco at the Antelop , Henry Owen at the red Lyon , Thomas Brisco at the Rose ; the Crowne . At B●…ldock 2 , Iames Haiday and Iohn Thurgood . At Stevenledg , Iohn Nodes . At Stansted Abby , Iohn Giver . At the Bell at Richmonsworth , Sara Marsh. At Bishops Hatfield , William Walker , and Elizabeth Barefoot . Hartford is the Provinciall towne of this Shire ; there is a Castle ( as some write ) built by King Edward the first : this towne hath been much larger , and in greater prosperity and accompt , for it had 4 Churches , namely , All-Saints , and Saint Andrews , which are now standing ; the other 2 are decayed , or down , their names were Saint Maries , and Saint Michaels . Hartford hath these 3 Tavernes : Will. Scant at the Bell , Anne Vinmunt , Tho : Noble , Henry Chalkley , and Henry Butler ; these 4 persons last named , doe inhabit and allow , the other a Tavernes there being the signes of the Glove , & the Angell At Hempstead 2 , Will : Smith , & Dorcas Goodwin . At Hitchin three , George Haiday , Thomas Harding , Priscilla Warner . At Hoddesden , Iohn Sydes at the Black Lyon , and Francis Williams at the Chequer . At Waltham Crosse two , Katherin Holt at the Bell , and Rosamond Hawton . At Royston three , Leonard Hamond , Anne Crofts , and Thomas Hagger . At Watford 2 , Edward How , and Henry G●…ry . At Markatstreet , Iohn Crane . At Wellwin , Iesper Wilshire . At Barkway , Iohn Rawley , and Thomas Smith . Ware is a great thorow-fare , and hath many faire Innes , with very large Bedding , and one high and mighty Bed , called The Great Bed of Ware : a man may seeke all England over , and not find a married couple that can fill it . Ware hath 3 Tavernes : Wil : Cross , or Wil : Raste at the Crown , Shelton Amery , Christopher Robinson , widow Hall at the George , also she keepes a Wine-seller at the Christopher . At Bishops-starford two , George Hawkins , and Iohn Cheyny . At Buntingford two , Edward Bullen , and Anne Hensham . At Wormeley , Rich : Bishop at the Black Lyon. At Much-hadham , Edmund Rustat . At Puckeridge two , Sir Iohn Wats doth allow one , and the other is inhabited or allowed under one Will : Northage . Saint Albanes is famous for Antiquity , and for the death of our English Proto-martyr St. Alban , hee was martyr'd there in the raig●…e of Dioclesian the Emperor , Ann. 268. After he had suffred many torments , lastly his head was struck off , and immediatly the executioner was struck blind . Off a king of the Mercians built the goodly Abby Church there , An. 795. and the said Church was dedicated to Christ and St. Alban , from whom the town hath denomination . The Brazen Font in the Church was brought out of Scotland by Sir Richard Lea Knight , An. 1543. in the 36 yeare of the raigne of K Henry the 8. This towne is also famous for two memorable bloody Battels there betwixt K. Edward the 4. and K. Henry the 6. where both the Kings had various fortunes : It hath these Wine tavernes ; the Blow Bore , the Lyon , the Kings Armes . Kingslangley is also famous for being sometimes the residence of Kings , Edmund of Langley , Son to K. Edward the third was borne there , & K. Richard the second was first buried there : It hath a tav●…m kept or allowed by Rose Deacon . At Abbots Langley , one Nicholas Breakespeare was borne , who was afterwards Pope of Rome by the name of Hadrian the 4th , he died suddenly chok'd with a Fly in his Cup. This County of Hartford , had , at the suppression of Popery , 22 Religious houses , as Abbies , &c. It hath 8 divisions or hundreds ; namely , Odsey , Caysho , Branghing , Hartford , Hiching , Edwinstree Broadwater , and Dacorum . This County hath 18 Market townes ; 120 Parishes , and 52 Tavernes . Hampshire . HAmpshire , or Hantshire , is a goodly rich County , abounding in Corne , Wood , Pasture , and much enriched with innumerable Commodities from the Sea Southampton is a faire , sweet & pleasant town , it hath had triall of both fortunes often , it was quite consumed by fire , in the raigne of K. Edward the 3. Anno 1337. since when it is better re-edified and much increased , well defenced with Wals , 〈◊〉 rets , a Haven , and a strong Castle built by K. Richard the second , it is rich in Marchants and Inhabitants , and by the grant of K. Henry the 6. it is a County of it selfe . It hath 8 Wine Tavernes , either allowed or inhabited by Thomas Miles , Tho : Stoner , Tho. Smith , Augustine Reignolds , Oliver Stoner , Elizabeth King , Eliz : Nevey , and Eliz : Elzey . At Mew-church , Benjamin Newland . At Alton 3. Io. Butler , Io. Goldsbery , Basill Kemp. At Basing-stoake three , Anne Cross , or Robert White at the Bell , Avis Tate , or Anthony Spittle at the Maydenhead , Thomasin Barrell , or Captaine Marlow at the George . Kingwood is a very ancient towne , it was in estimation and prosperity more than 1100. yeares ago in the raigne of Cerdicus , K. of West Saxons , Anno 508 it is now a good Market town , & hath 2 taver●…ers allowed by Will : Tarvar and Iohn Wiseman . At Petersfield two , Richard Goodwin , and Agnes Wood. At Stokebridge one , Francis Leison . At Hava●…t , William Woolgar . At Fareham , Anne Wilks . At 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , Anne Tinkeridg , Rachell Tinkeridg , Mary Williams . At Buckland , Henry Fabyn . Tichfield , where K. Henry the sixt was married to the valiant Virago , Qu. Margaret , daughter to Reinard Earle of Anjou . & titularie king of Scicilia and Ierusalem . There is a goodly house , the chiefe seat and residence of the honorable Earle of South-hampton . Tichfield hath one Tavern , Rich : Brown. At Andover three , Iohn Milier , Iohn Hercy , and Mary So●…h . At Hook , Bridget Woolse , the signe of the B●…ll . At Romsey three , Alexander Elver , William Bloys , and Dorothy Loa●… . Christ-Church , by the Saxons , it had once a Castle in it of a good strength ; the towne was much repaired by one Ralph Flammard Bp. of Durham , Anno 1094. in the raign of K. Rufus , or William the 2. this Bishop was Deane of this Christ Church , and there he erected a fair Monastery . This town hath one Taverne , Iohn Powson . At Warnford , Richard Woods , and Mabell Vin●… . At Limmington , George Castle . At Castbrooke , Margaret Hayles . At Newport , in the Isle of Wight , one Iohn Iames , may , or doth keepe three Tavernes . At N●…wtowne , 〈◊〉 Taylor . At Cowse three , Morgan Adams , Margaret Hayles , William Edwards . At 〈◊〉 , Anne Garyre . At Brading , Iohn Iames. So there are nine Taverns in the I le o●… W●…ght . This ●…and to the County of Hampshire , ●…s 2●… mil●…s in length & 12 miles in bredth in the broadest place ; it is a most plentifull strong defencible Countrey , Sea , Art & Nature made so . It is peopled with valiant and warlike inhabitants , Henry Bewchamp Earle of Warwick was crowned King of the I le of Wight , in the raigne of King Henry the sixt . At Forthingoridg one Taverne , Richard Boen . At Hambledon one , Christopher Organ . At Bishops Waltham one , Iohn Hawksworth . At Eastincon one , Iane Loving . At Botley , Dorathy Doncastle . Winchester is a very famous and ancient Citty , it was the Royall seat of the West Saxon Kings ; it had 6 houses in it for coining and minting mony in the raigne of King Athelstane ; and long since that ●…ll the publike Records & Evidences of the whole ●…ingdom of England were kept there . This Citie hath been twice fired by sudden mis-fortunes ; and in king Stephens raigne it was sack'd and spoil'd by rude Soldiers that belong'd to the King , and Mawd the Empresse factions ; but after it was much enrich'd by the royall favour of King Edward the 3 , who caused a Mart or Staple of Wooll & Cloth to be kept there , but since ( as times hath altred ) this worthy City hath suffred many changes , yet still with Fame and Reputation she beares up her head . Winchester hath 4 tavernes Ioan Prat , Anne Bud , Thomas Brexton , and Cornelius Brexton . At Soake , neere Winchester three , VVilliam Pope , Iohn Noake , and VValter Travers . At Lippock , Robert Palmer . At Sutton Sconey , Michaell Nicholas . At Hartlerow , Anthony Maynard , or Iohn VVild at the G●…orge . Portsmouth , so called , because it stands at the mouth of the Port or Haven ; it is a strong towne and fortresse , with a Garrison ; and it thrives better by War than by Peace : It hath 4 tavernes , Richard Iames , Owen Iennings , Dorothy Iennings , and VVilliam Haberley . Portsmouth Liberties , one Anthony Haberly hath , or may keepe two tavernes . At Gosport , neere Portsmouth two , Anne Clarke , and VVilliam Towerson . At Hartford bridge , Thomas Bickton , or VVilliam VVild at the Swan . At Milbrooke , Margery Strood . Odiam is a pretty Market towne , where sometimes David King of the Scots was kept prisoner , in King Eward the third's raigne ; since when , the Kings of England have , and do , now , & then lodge there in a royall Mansion of their owne : there was a fortresse there in the raigne of King Iohn , of such strength , that thirteene Englishmen , did hold it fifteen dayes against Lewis the Daulphin of France , who assaulted it with a mighty armie , yet could not win it from the said thirteen men Odiam hath one taverne , kept by Bridget Dickenson , or one Mistrisse Keyes , at the George . Hampshire had at the suppression of Popery , of Abbies , Nunneries , Priories , Fricries , Colleges , Hospitals 30. This Shire hath 18 Market townes , Parishes 253. It is divided into 40 hundreds , or divisions , as Crundon , Acton , Selburne , Odiam , Eastmean , Sutton , Bartenstacy , Finchdeane , Portsdown , Tichfield , Mansbridge , Meanstock , Fawley , Hambledon , Budlegate , Redbridge , Kings , Sombourne , Andover within , Andover without , Hornwell , Bosmere , Fareham , Averstock and Gosport , Waltham , Eringer , 〈◊〉 , Kings Cleare , Thoragate , Overton , Basingstoake extra Holdshot , Christ-church , Newforre●… , Ringwood , Barmanspi●… , Forthingbridge , Buntsborough , Mainsborough , Chutefey , and Michell ●…ever . Number of Tavernes in this County seventy three . Barkshire . BArkeshire is a rich and plentifull County , and a great helpe to her neighbour Provinces for Wood and Corne ; which necessary commodities are the cause that no other thing fitting for mans use is wanting in this Countie . Windsor is a daintie , faire , and spacious towne , with a royall Castle , of such mag●…cent structure , and so scited and seated , that for prospect it is unparalleld , & deserves respect transcendent beyond all the princely fabricks in Great Brittain . That victorious Mars of men , King Edw. 3. was borne in Winsor , & he founded the said Castle . He held prisoners King Iohn of France , and David K. o●… Scots : since which time the Castle was made more stately and conspicuous by King Edw. 4. and a Noble Knight Sir Reignold Bray was at great charge in the augmenting of it ; since when the famous and worthy memorable Queene Elizabeth , beautified it with the stone Gallery , or Walke towards the Thames . The Right honourable Order of the Garter was first instituted by K. Edw 3. at Burdeaux in France , but since that time it hath bin continued at Winsor for that noble installation : and in the beautifull Chappell there , are all the Armes and Hatchments of that noble Fellowship , placed in their degrees . Also in this famous Castle was borne that good and pious King Henry the 6 who founded Aeton Colledge , and the worthy structure of Kings Colledge in Cambridge . Winsor hath these Tavernes , the Crosskeyes , the George , the Garter , and the White Hart. Wantage is a place of great antiquity , long before the Norman Conquest there was a house for the king , for Aelfred the 23 king of the West Saxons was borne there , who raigned , Anno 872 : there is or may be two Tavernes kept by Edward Gallant at the signe of the Elephant . At Buscot one , Adam Kirby . At Twyford one , Henry Millward . At Enborne one , Anne Plantin . At Wareseile one , Thomas Garson . Abendun , Abbington , or Abinton , the name was first derived from a famous Abby built there by Cissa , one of the Saxon Kings , which Abby was throwne downe by the Danes , and after raised againe by king Edgar Anno 995. since which time it grew to that state and greatnesse , that scarse any Monastry in England could top it either for wealth or pomp ; but there remaines little or nothing of it now but Ruines and Rubbish , as Reliques of the greatnesse which once it had , from it the Towne was called Abby-town , now changed into the name Abington ; it is a faire and sweet scituation , famous for a rare Crosse in the Market place , and for plenty of Mault made and sold there : It hath but one Taverne kept by one Iohn Prince , who at his pleasure may keepe three Tavernes there if he will. At Theale one , Iohn Bowyer . At Winfield one , Iohn Hawkins . At Binfield , Richard Williams . At Thackham , Robert Humphrey . At Farington two , Simon Turner , and Margaret Handy . At Okingham two , Will : Hunt , and Rich : Thorp . At Lamburne one , kept by one Daintree at the two neck'd Swan . At Hungerford one , Thomas Smith . Wallingford was a good towne in the raigne of K. Edward the Confessor . An. 1042. It hath been a walled towne , as appeares by the ruines of it , with a strong Castle neere the river of Thames , which is now almost defac'd into fragments . King Stephen with all his force could not win it from the besieged Empresse Mawd ; In the raigne of K. Edw. 3. An 1334 this town was of such greatnesse that it had 12 Churches , which now are demolished and diminished to 1 , or scarce two ; ( such are the changes of transitory things ) it is a good Market town , and stands commodiously , having two Tavernes under William Donnington and Iohn Smith . Newbery is a rich town for the trade of clothing , it sprang out of the C●…nsumption of an old towne , which is neere it , called Spene , or Spinhamlands ; there are three Tavernes , under Iohn Greenoway , Thomas Howes , and Anthony Linch . Spinhamland hath two tavernes under Richard Cox , and Iames Garroway . Maydenhead is so called , as some say , of a Maid's head that was cut off at Colleyne in Germany , which from thence was brought thither , and worshipped ; the people supposing it to be the Head of one of the 1100 Virgins ( or Maids ) that suff●…ed wi●…h Saint Ursula , how certaine it is I know not , but this I know , that there are good Inns , lodging and entertainment , halfe of it being in the Parish of Bray , having these taverns : the Beare , the Greybound the Lyon , the White hart , the Sarazens head : It may be one too many . Reading is the prime and principall town in this County of Barkshire , for faire buildings , large streets for cloathing and other blessings : King Henry the first , with his wife , & his daughter Mawd the Empresse , were buried there . Reading hath these Tavernes , kept or allowed by Iohn Domelaw , Elizabeth Foster , Iohn Bagley , Richard Alexander , Iohn Skot , and George Duell at the George . This Shire had at suppression of Monasteries , of Abbies , Nunneries , Priories , Frieries , Colleges and Hospitals , 14. It is divided into 20 devisions , or hundreds ; namely , Hormer , Farington , Ganfield , Shrievenham , Kentbury , Oke , Braye , Wanting , Riplemore , Compton , Morton , Cookeham , Barnelth , I am borne , Wargrove , Reading , Sunning , Theale , Charleton , and Fairecrosse . Barkshire hath also 11 good Market townes , 140 Parishes , and 40 Tavernes . Surrey . SUrrey , or Southrey , because it lies South from the River of Thames , it is a rich County , and if the inhabitants do not want thank fulnesse to God , there is nothing wanting ( either pleasant or profitable ) for the life and maintainance of men . Farnham is a fine Towne in the Rode betwixt London and Winchester , it hath a faire Castle in it , which was built by Henry Earle of Bloys , Brother to King Stephen ; it stands lofty on a Hill , seeming to overlooke the Towne , as it overtops it ; it was throwne downe by King Henry the third , in the Barons wars ; but the Bishops of Winchester ( who are the owners of it ) hath from time to time rais'd and repaired it to that goodly structure . The town hath 3 tavernes inhabited or allowed under Iohn Folder , Anne Hoore , and Anne Martin . At Haselmere one , Robert Palmer . At Cobham , Iohn Perior . At Godstone two , the Bell and the Greyhound . At Peckham one , the Greyhound . At Linyuill , Thomas Chapman . At Lederhead , or Leatherhead two , Iohn Rogers , Thomas Clark. At By●…eet one , Iohn Baily . At Mowlsey , Anthony Powell . Chertsey is a pretty little Market towne neere the Thames , where there is a decayed left handed Bridge over the River , I wish it mended , the people are for the most part very kind and honest . It hath or may have 2 taverns , Ellin Day , & Iohn Stare . At Croydon 2 , the George and the Greyhound . Guilford is a good Market towne where Kings have kept their Court as appeares by an old decaied house there to this day . Also , there are the ruines of an ancient Castle to be seene neere the Brooke : This towne hath very faire innes , and good entertainment , at the Tavernes , the Angell , the Crowne , the White hart and the Lyon. At Wimble●…on , the two Lyons and Wheat-sheafe . At Godalming ( corruptly called Godlyman ) are two , under Henry Westbrooke and George Bridger . At Bagshot are two , the Bush , Scipio le Squire , or Mr. Anthill , and Robert Battin at the Lyon. At Barnes , Richard Hill at the Beare . Rygate is anciently famous for affronti●…g and repulsing the Danes neer there in Holensedale , neere which is a ruinated Castle , called Holme Castle ; the Tavernes may be two , but William Pistor hath the command , the Hart. At Little Monlesey , Parnell Nitingale , White hart . At Riple , Anne Stanton at the Dog. At Stretham , William Lads at the Antelop . At Barm●… street one , Iulian Haberley . At Ca●…halton one , Mary Rutleage at the White Lyon. At Lambeth and Lambeth Marsh , the Faulcon , the Kings head , the White Lyon , the Three Squirrel●… , the Three Tuns , the Vine . At Egham , the Kings head , & Katherin wheele , by Elizabeth Clarke , and Margaret Guy . At Micham one , William Holland . At Tooting one , Elinor Serient . At Mortlake two , Miles Bourne at the Princes Armes , and Phebe Tucker at the Maidenhead . At Waddon one , Christian Weller . At Camberwell , Iohn Stratfield , and Iane VVebb . At Bleechingles , Anne Fince . At Waybridge , Kate Williams . Kinston , a very commodious and good well govern'd Towne , an excellent Market ( especially for corne . ) In old time it had a faire Castle belonging to the Earls of Glocester . Three Saxon Kings were crowned there on a Scaffold in the Market place , namely , Edwin , Athelstane , and Etheldred , in memory of which there are the figures of those Kings in the Church . Before those Kings were crowned there , the towne was called Mereford , & ever since those Coronations , it hath bin called Kingston , or the Kings Towne . Parliaments have bin held there divers times : It hath many good Innes , and these Tavernes , the Castle , the Crane , the Kings head , the Saracens head , and the Hand in hand . At Meistham , Reignold Durkin . At Battersea , Henry Norton , Anne Boswell , the Mermayd . At Darking , Toby Ridge , Edward Goodman , and Iohn Comber . At Ewell two , Katherin Umbrevile , and Francis Kendall : but one may serve that towne , and doth ( as I think ) which is the signe of the Popinjay . At Newington , the Bull , and the Kings Armes . At Putney 2. the white Lyon , & the red Lyon. At Wandsworth , Mary Gibson , Sith Browne , and VVilliam Sherlocke . At Cobham , the Lyon , the George . The Golden Lyon neere old Paris Garden . At Rederhith three , the Mermayd , the Sun , and the Rose . Richmond , was called Sheene before K. Henry the 7. built the stately Palace there . I here was a goodly House neere the said foundation in old time , for K. Edw. 3. died there : so likewise did Queen Anne the wife of K. Richard 2. King Henry 5. built much there , which being burnt by casuall misfortune , K. Henry 7. built upon the old ground-worke . In that Palace that now is , dyed the sayd Royall founder of it , King Henry , and after that there died his grandchild Queen Elizabeth , both unmatchable Princes for internall and externall endowments . There are two Tavernes , the Lyon , and the Princes Armes . This County of Surrey had at the suppression of Monasteries , Abbies , Nunneries , Priories , Frieries , Colledges and Hospitalls , 14. It hath 8 Market townes , and it is divided into thirteene Hundreds or Divisions , namely , Chertsey , Woking , Farnham Emley Bridge , Darking , Croydon , Kingston , Black-heath , and Wooton , Capthome , and Effingham Godalming , Tanridge , Reygate , Brixton and Wallington . It hath 140 Parishes , and of Tavernes 71. Buckinghamshire . BVckinghamshire is a rich and fat soyle , and by the bountie of heaven plentifully replenishe●… with the fruits of the earth . Marlow , was so named because it stands in Chaulkie or Marle ground : it is a good Market towne and hath one Taverne under Iohn Farmour . At Winslow , Nicholas Brinsall . At Chaffant , Robert Ducke . At Burnham , Iohn Phipp. At Oney , Lewis Ablestone . Brill is so ancient , that King Edward the confessor had a house in it , and sometimes kept hi●… Court there . It hath bin formerly a Market town●… it is a place most fertill and fruitfull , and hath brave , beautifull , and pleasant prospect . It hath on●… Taverne , the Kings Armes , kept by Christophe●… Gregorie . At Brickhill two , Iohn Hutchinson , and Iane Holmes . At Cheneis , Iohn Barefoot . At Hanslap , Richard Perry . At Newport Pagnell two , Iohn Prest●… , and Elizabeth VVhite . At Slowgh two , the Crowne , and the White Hart , Iohn Checkley . At Fenny streetford , Iohn Kims . At Ever , William Atkins . Alesbery ( as some say ) so called for brewing of most mighty Capitoll Ale , as browne as a Berry ; it is a good Market town , and hath these tavernes , and fignes , Ioseph Sexton , Ieffrey Standley and Anne Goldsworth , the George , the Kings head , and the Bush. At Amersham , Iohn Cr●…ss , Edward Bayly , and Tobias Saunders . At Challey , Robert Paine . At Marsh Gibbon , Mary Robins . At Beconsfield , Richard Bentley , Sara Hayles , the Bell. East Wickham , or high VVickham is a faire town , and a Maior town , with these tavernes , the Lyon , the Nagshead , and the Katherin VVheele ; but Mr. George VVells may ( if he pleas●… ) keep one more . At West-wickham , Mary VVells . At Farnham Royall , VVilliam Baldwin . At Chessham , Daniell VV●…st , and Eliz : VVolfe . At Aeton two , Francis Dickinson , and Peter VViggor ; the signes there , are the Christopher , and the Su●… . At Missenden two , VVilliam Harris , and Thomas Gardner . At Whit-church , VVilliam Theed . At●…vinghoe ●…vinghoe , Edward Anthony . At Wendover two , Richard Rowell , and Ralpb Hill , the Lyon. Stonystretford is so named for the place where it stands , and much of the Countrey neere it is very stony ; there is a Taverne there , the signe of the Cock , Lloyde . At Amelford two , the Sarazens head , the Bush. Colebrooke is a great through-fare , and hath these taverns , the George , the Estrich , the Katherin wheel Thomas Meale , Thomas Charley , Iohn Childe . At Prince Resborow , VVilliam Hastlegrove . Buckingham is the Provinciall Towne of this Shire , and hath these Tavernes , the Cock and the Bush : Alexander Stotusbury , and Elizabeth Pollard . This County had at suppression of Monasteries , Abbies , Nunneries , Priories , Frieries , Colleges and Hospitals 22. It hath 8 divisions , or hundreds , Assenden , Stock , Newport , Burnham , Buckingham , Disborough , Collstow , Alesbery . It hath 11 Market Townes , 185 Parishes , and 47 Tavernes . Oxfordshire . OXfordshire is scarce second to any County in England for plenty of Corne and Pasturage , Wood and Fruits of all sorts , that this kingdome yields . It is also excellently watred with fine sweet Rivers , as Ouse , or Isis , which some doe c●…ll the Thames ; and the little River Cherwell also glides into it , so that this Shire is furnish'd in plenty with fresh River fi●…h of sundry kinds . Banbury is a goodly faire Market towne , and ( as the learned Cambden ) it is famous for Cakes , Cheese and Zeale : it hath three saverns kept by Martin VVright , Elizabeth Collins , and Mathew Alsop . At Stoken Church , Augustine Belson , the signe the White Hart. At Nettlebed two , Iohn VVhite & Ioh. Crowch . the signes are the Bull , and the Lyon. At Watlington , Elizabeth Colebrooke . At Bampton , Simon Turner . Burfourd is a good Market towne , but beware of a Burfourd Bayt , for it may breed the Staggers : there are 3 Tavernes inhabited or allowed under Edmund Hening , Agnes Dalby , and Simon Hator . At Chippingnorton two , Christopher Deane , and Henry Cornish . At VVitney , Tho. Brooke at the Kings Armes . Dorchester was a faire and goodly Citie 1000 yeares agoe , for in anno 642. Oswald King of Northumberland , was a Godfather to one Cingilse , a king of the West Saxons , which king was converted from Paganisme to Christianity , and was then and there baptized in this town of Dorchester . The Cuines whereof that are neere it , doe shew in part how far the ancient greatnesse extended , it is now but a little Towne ; the River of Tame doth fall into Isis hard by this Towne : it hath one taverne , inhabited or allowed by Elizabeth Bernard . At Stratton Awdley there is one Taverne , under the licence of Iohn Burlace Esquire . At Enstone , Richard Canning , and Mary Ayldworth . Thame is a good Market towne , and is so named from the River of Tame or Thame that waters it ; it hath two Tavernes , Thomas Ballow , and Richard Kendall , the signes are the Red Lyon , and the Swan . At Benson one , Edward Snelling . VVoodstocke house , or the Kings Pallace there was built by King Henry the 1. and the Park there was also by him enclosed . This house was after made a Pallace of private pleasure by King Henry the second , where hee injoyed his fading contentment with the faire Rosamond Clifford : The town is a pretty Market towne , and chiefly famous for the breeding of the worthy Ieffrey Chancer , the most ancient Arch-Poet of England . VVoodstocke hath sometimes but one Taverne , and sometimes two , according to the pleasure of Mr. Tho : Rayer . At Tatsworth two , Iohn Poyner , and Elizabeth Tanner . At Paddington two , Katherin Bennet , and Mary ●…ker . At Is●…p two , Edward Stoakley , VVilliam Bradley , Kings head , Princes Armes . At Wheatley two , Iohn Smith , and Athaliah Robinson . Hendley or Henley is an excellent Market town , with these Tavernes , the VVhite hart and the Elephant . Also , there is a Taverne with a Bush only , at the Bowling Green without the Towne in Ox ford way . Robert Heyborne , Richard Pinder , and Iohn Stevens . Oxford . AS the glorious Beames of the resplendant Sun cannot be made more coruscant by the light of a silly Taper , and as a drop of raine augments not the boundlesse Ocean , so would any thing that should be spoken , or written by mee in the praise of this famous University and City be most needlesse or impertinent . The vigour of Hercules could not be encreased with the strength of a Pismire ; it is high presumption to shew Apollo the grounds of Poetry , or to teach the Muses ( whose habitation is there ) and there is the inexhausible Magazin of all Arts , Learning , and good littrature ; therfore , with that little parcell of Latine which is translated out of Greeke , and spoken by Apelles the famous Painter , Ne Sutor Vltra Crepidam , I will take leave of the University , and speake of the Tavernes , which are five , Francis Harris , William Turner , Thomas Hallom , William Grice and Humphrey Budwit ; the signes are the Mermayd , the Swan , the other three are onely Bushes . This Shire had at the suppression of the Romish Religion , of Monasteries , Abbies , Nunneries , &c. 26. This County is devided into 14 hundreds or devisions ; namely , Langtree , Bloxham , Tame , Banburie , Wootton , Binfield , Ewelme , Pitton , Chadlington , Bampton , Bullington , Plowghley , Dorchester , and Lewknor . Also Oxfordshire hath 11 Market Townes , 208 Parishes , and 40 Wine Tavernes . The totall of all the Tavernes in all the ten Shires and Counties aforesaid , are 686 , or thereabouts . FINIS . 
A13468	----	A liuing sadnes, in duty consecrated to the immortall memory of our late deceased albe-loued soueraigne lord, the peeereles paragon of princes, Iames, King of great Brittaine, France and Ireland Who departed this life at his mannour of Theobalds, on Sunday last, the 27. of March, 1625. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1625 Approx. 22 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 9 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13468 STC 23772 ESTC S111395 99846752 99846752 11739 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13468) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 11739) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:16) A liuing sadnes, in duty consecrated to the immortall memory of our late deceased albe-loued soueraigne lord, the peeereles paragon of princes, Iames, King of great Brittaine, France and Ireland Who departed this life at his mannour of Theobalds, on Sunday last, the 27. of March, 1625. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [6], 12, [2] p. Printed by E. Allde for H. Gosson, [London : [1625] In verse. With a woodcut title-page border. Imprint from STC. The first and last pages are mourning pages. Reproduction of a photostat of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng James -- I, -- King of England, 1566-1625 -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2002-03 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-03 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-04 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2002-04 Kirk Davis Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-05 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Who departed this Life at his Mannour of Theobalds , on Sunday last , the 27. of March , 1625. By IOHN TAYLOR . TO THE MOST HIGH AND PVISSANT PRINCE , CHARLES by the Grace of God , the first of that Name , and second Monarch of the whole Iland of Great BRITTAINE : His vndoubted Royalties being vnited vnder one and the same his most glorious Crowne , the Kingdoms of England , Scotland , France , and Ireland ; Gods Immediate Vice Gerent ; Supreame head of all Persons , and Defender of the true , ancient Christian Faith , in these his Empires and Dominions . MOst Mighty Monarch of this mourning Land , Vpon the Knees of my submissiue minde : I begge Acceptance at your Royall hand , That my Lamenting Muse may fauour finde . My Gracious Master was so good , so kinde , So iust , so much-beloued neare and farre : Which generally did Loue , and Duty binde From all , and from me in particular . But as your Maiesty vndoubted are The Heyre vnto his Vertues and his Crowne : I pray , that whether HEAVEN send Peace or War You likewise may inherit his Renowne . And as Death strucke his Earthly Glory downe , Left you in Maiestie , and mourning Chiefe : Yet through the World apparently 't is knowne Your Sorrow is an vniuersall Griefe . Let this recomfort then your Princely heart , That in this Duty , all men beares a part . Your Maiesties most humble and obedient Subject and Seruant , IOHN TAYLOR . YOV Gushing Torrents of my Teare-drown'd eyes , Sad Part●ners of my hearts Calamities . Tempesteous Sighs , like windes in Prison Pent : Which ( wanting vent ) my grieued soule hath Rent , Deepe wounding Grones ( Companions of vnrest ) Thronges from the Bottome of my Care-Craz'd Brest , You three , Continuall fellowes of my mones ( My Brinish Teares , Sad sighes , & Pondrous Grones ) I doe entreate you neuer to depart But be the true Assistants of my heart , In this Great Sorrow , ( that my Trembling Quill Describes ) which , doth our land with mourning fill . Ah Death ! could nought thy hunger satisfie , But thou must Glut thy selfe with Maiestie ? Could nothing thy Insatiate thirst Restraine , But Royall Blood of our Dread Soueraigne ? In this thy spight exceedes , beyond all Boundes , And at one Blow , 3. kingdomes filld'st with wounds . When thou that fatall deadly stroake did'st strike , Then ( Death ) thou playd'st the Tyrant - Catholicke . Our griefes are Vniuersall , and the Summe Cast vp , the blow doth wound all Christendome . But wherefore ( Death ) doe I on thee Exclaime ? Thou cam'st in the Eternall Kings Great name , For as , no mortall Power can thee preuent , So thou doest neuer , Come , but thou art sent . And now thou cam'st vpon vnwelcome wings , To our best King , from the blest King of Kings , To Summon him to change his Earthly Throne , For an Immortall , and a Heau'nly one . ( When men vnthankfull , for a good Receau'd ) , 'T is Iust that of that good they be bereau'd ) His Gouernment , both God and Men did please , Except such spirits as might complaine of Ease , Repining Passions wearied with much Rest , The want to be Molested , might Molest . Such men thinke Peace a Torment , and no Trouble Is worse then Trouble , though it should come double . I speake of such , as with our peace were Cloy'd , Though warre I thinke , might well haue bin Imploy'd . True Brittaines , wish iust warres to Entertaine , ( I meane no Aide for Spinola , or Spaine ) But Time and Troubles would not suffer it , Nor Gods Apointment would the same permit . He is Inscrutable in all his wayes , And at his pleasure humbleth , and will raise . For Patience , is a vertue he Regardeth , And in the End , with victorie Rewardeth . But whither hath my Mournefull Muse digrest ? From my beloued Soueraigne Lord deceast : Who was to vs , and we to him , Eu'n Thus , To bad for him , and he , to good for vs. For good men in their Deaths , 'T is vnderstood They leaue the bad , and goe vnto the Good. This was the cause , why God did take from hence , This most Religious , Learned , Gracious Prince , This Parragon of Kings , this Matchlesse Mirror , This Faith 's defending Antichristian Terror , This Royall al-beloued King of Harts , This Patterne , and this Patron of good Arts , This cabinet of mercie , Temperance , Prudence , and Iustice , that doth man aduance . This Magazine of Pious Clemencie , This fountaine of true Liberalitie , This minde , where vertue dayly did increase , This Peace-full Seruant to the God of Peace . This second great Apollo , from whose Raies , Poore Poetrie did winne Immortall Baies , From whence the sacred Sisters , Treble Trine Had life and motion , Influence diuine , These vertues did adorne his Diadem , And God , in taking him , hath taken them . Of all which Blessings , ( we must needs confesse ) We are depriu'd for our vnworthinesse . A good man 's neuer mist till he be gone , And then most vaine and fruitlesse is our mone , But as Heau'ns fauours , downe to vs descended : So if our thankfulnesse had but Ascended , Had we made Conscience of our wayes to sinne , So soone of him , we not depriu'd had bin . Then let vs not lament his losse so much , But for our owne vnworthinesse was such . So from th'vnthankfull Iewes , God in his wrath Tooke good Iosias , by vnlook'd for death . And for our sinnes , our ignorance must know , We haue procur'd , and felt this cureles blow . And Christendome , I feare in losing him , Is much dismembred , and hath lost a limme . As by the fruite the tree may be exprest , His workes declar'd , his learning manifest . Whereby his wisedome wan this great renowne , That second Salomon wore Brittaines crowne . His pen restrain'd the strong , relieu'd the weake , And graciously he could write , doe and speake . He had more force and vigour in his wordes , Then neigh'bring Princes could haue in their swordes . Fraunce , Denmark , Poland , Sweden , Germanie , Spaine , Sauoy , Italie , and Muscouie , Bohemia , and the fruitfull Palatine , The Swisses , Grisons , and the Veltoline , As farre as euer Sol , or Luna shin'd Beyond the Westerne , or the Easterne Inde . His counsell , and his fauours were requir'd , Approu'd , Belou'd , Applauded , and Admir'd : When round about , the Nations farre and neere , With cruell bloodie warres infested were ; When Mars with sword and fire , in furious rage , Spoyl'd and consum'd , not sparing Sex or age ; Whil'st mothers ( with great griefe ) were childles made , And Sonne gainst Sire oppos'd with trenchant blade : When brother against brother , kinne gainst kinne , Through death and danger did destruction winne . When Murthers mercilesse , and beastly Rapes , Theft , Famine ( Miseries in sundry shapes ) While Mischiefes thus great Kingdomes ouerwhelme , Our prudent Steeresman held great Brittaines Helme , Conducting so this mighty Shippe of State , That strangers enuide , and admir'd thereat . When blessed Peace , with terrour and affright Was in amazed and distracted flight By bloody Warre , and in continuall Chase , Cours'd like a fearefull Hare , from place to place : Not daring any where to show her Head , She ( happily ) into this Kingdome fled . Whom Royall IAMES did freely entertaine , And graciously did keepe Her all his Raigne . Whilst other Lands ( that for her absence mourne ) With sighes and teares doe wish her backe returne . They finde in loosing Her , they lost a blisse , A hundred Townes in France can witnesse this , Where Warres compulsion , or else composition Did force Obedience , Bondage , or Submission . Fields lay vntild , and fruitfull Land lay wast , And this was scarcely yet full three yeares past . Where these vnciuill ciuill Warres destroy'd Princes , Lords , Captaines , men of Note imploy'd , One hundred sixty seauen , in number all , And Common people did past number fall . These wretches ( wearied with these home-bred Iarres ) Loue Peace , for being beaten sore with Warres . Nor doe I here inueigh against just Armes , But 'gainst vniust , vnaturall Alarmes . Iust Warres are made , to make vniust Warres cease , And in this sort Warres are the meanes of Peace . In all which turmoyles , Brittaine was at rest , No thundring Cannons did our Peace molest . No churlish Drum , no Rapes , no slaughtring wounds ; No Trumpets cl●●gor to th Battaile sounds : But euery Subiect here enioy'd his owne , And did securely Reape what they had Sowne . Each man beneath his Fig-tree , and his Vine In Peace with plenty did both Suppe and Dine . O GOD how much thy Goodnesse doth or'eflow , Thou hast not dealt with other Nations so ! And all these blessings which from Heauen did spring , Were by our Soueraignes wisdomes managing . Gods Steward , both in Office , and in Name , And his account was euermore his aime : The thought from out his minde did seldome slippe , That once he must giue vp his Steward-shippe . His Anger written on weake water was , His Patience and his Loue were grau'd in Brasse : His Fury like a wandring Starre soone gone , His Clemency was like a fixed one . So that as many lou'd him whilst he liu'd , More then so many by his Death are grieu'd . The hand of Heauen was onely his support , And blest him in the Nobles of his Court , To whom his Bounty was exprest so Royall , That he these twenty yeares found none disloyall ; But as bright Iewels of his Diadem , They faithfully seru'd him , he honour'd them . And as in life , they were on him relying , So many of them vshered him in dying . Richmonds and Linox Duke , first led the way , Next Dorsets spirit forsooke hir house of Clay . Then Linox Duke againe , Duke Lodwicks Brother Was third , and good Southampton fourth another . Lord Wri●thsly next , Southamptons Noble Sonne , The race of his mortality did runne . Next dyde olde Charles , true honour'd Nottingham ( The Brooche and honour of his House and Name ) Braue Belfast next , his vitall threed was spunne , And last the Noble Marquesse Hambleton . These in the compasse of one yeare went hence , And lead the way to their beloued Prince . And our deceased Soueraigne quickly went , To change Earths Pompe , for glory permanent . Like Phoebus in his Course h'aroase and ran His Raigne in March both ended and began . And as if he had bin a Star that 's fixt His Rise and Set were but two dayes betwixt , And once in two and twenty yeares 't is prou'd , That the most fixed Starres are something mou'd . But in his end , his Constancy we finde He had no mutable or wauering minde : For that Religion which his tongue and pen Did still defend with God , maintaine with men : That Faith which in his Life he did expresse , He in his Death did constantly professe ; His Treasure and his Iewels , they were such , As I thinke Englands Kings had ne're so much . And still to men of honour and desert , His Coffers were as open as his heart . Peace , Patience , Iustice , Mercie , Pietie ; These were his Iewels in variety : His Treasure alwaies was his Subiects Loue , Which they still gaue him , as th' effects did proue : Which like to Earths contributary streames , Payde homage to their Soueraigne Ocean , Iames : He knew , that Princes Treasure to be best , That 's layde vp in the loyall Subjects brest ; And onely 't was the Riches of the minde , To which he couetously was inclinde . Thus was he blest in Person , blest in State , Blest in his first , and in his Latter date : Blest in his education , blest in 's learning , Blest in his Wisedome , Good and Ill discerning , Blest in his Marriage , and in his royall Race , But blessed most of all in Gods high Grace . He did his God deuoutely serue and feare , He lou'd him , and his loue he held most deare : He honour'd and obayde him faithfully ; He in his fauour liu'd , and so did dye : His duty vnto God he knew the way And meanes , to make his Subiects him obey : He knew that if he seru'd his God , that then He should be seru'd , and fear'd , and lou'd of Men : And that if he Gods Statutes did respect , That Men would feare his Statutes to neglect . Thus his Obedience vpward , did bring downe Obedience to his Person , and his Crowne . He did aduaunce the good , supprest the bad , Relieu'd the poore , and comforted the sad : The widow , and the orphant fatherlesse , He often hath suppli'd in their distresse , For why , to rich and poore , to great and small , He was a common Father vnto all . His affabilitie and Princely partes , Made him a mighty Conquerour of Hartes : Offenders whom the law of life depriues , His Mercie pardon'd , and preseru'd their liues , To prisoners , and poore captiues miserie , He was a Magazine of charitie , For losses that by sea , or fire did come , He hath bestowed many a liberall summe . Besides , for Churches , it most plaine appeares , That more hath bin repair'd in twentie yeares ( In honour of our God , and Sauiours name ) Then in an hundred yeares before he came . Our ancient famous Vniuersities , Diuine , and Humane learnings Nurseries : Such dewes of Grace , as the Almighties will , Was pleased ( through those Limbecks ) to distill . Which ( spight of Romish rage , or Sathans hate ) Hath caus'd the glorious gospell propogate : Our ( light of learning ) IAMES , did still protect them , And as a nursing Father did affect them . Thus was He , for our soules , and bodies health , Defender of both Church and Common-wealth . For Ireland , he hath much reduc'd that nation , Churches with Land endowed , caus'd much plātation . Whereby Ciuility is planted there , The Kings Obedience , and th'Almigties Feare . These Deedes this worthy godly Prince hath done , For which he hath perpetuall praises wonne . Ah! what a gracious Man of God was this ? Mercy and Iustice did each other kisse ; His Affability whilst he did liue , Did make all Men themselues to him to giue . Thus liu'd Great IAMES , and thus Great IAMES did dye , And dying thus doth liue Eternally . With Honour he did liue , and Life forsooke , With Patience like a Lambe his Death he tooke : And leauing Kingly cares , & Princely paine , He now inherits an Immortall Raigne : For royal grieu'd , perplexed Maiestie , He hath a Crowne of perpetuitie : For miserable Pompe that 's transitory , He is aduanc'd to euerlasting glory . And as he lou'd , and liu'd , and dyde in Peace , So he in Peace did quietly decease : So let him rest in that most blest condition , That 's subiect to no change or intermission ; Whilst we his Seruants , of him thus bereft , With grieued and perplexed hearts are left ; But God in mercy looking on our griefe , Before he gaue the wound , ordain'd reliefe : Though duteous Sorrow bids vs not forget This clowde of Death , wherein our Sunne did set , His Sonnes resplendent Maiestie did rise , Loadstone , and Loadstarre to our hearts and eyes : He cheeres our drooping spirits , he frees our feares And ( like the Sunne ) dryes vp our dewey Teares . And those his seruants that lamenting Grieue King Charles his Grace and fauour doth Releeue : But as they seru'd his Father , so he will Be their most louing Lord and Soueraigne still , As they were first to their Master liuing ( being dead ) They are releeued , and recomforted . Thus Charitie doth in succession runne , A Pious Father leaues a Godly Sonne : Which Sonne his Kingly Gouernment shall passe His Kingdomes Father , as his Father was . For though Great Iames inter'd in earth doth lye Great Charles his breast intombes his memorye , And heer 's our comforts midst our discontents Hee 's season'd with his Fathers Documents . And as th' Almighty was his sheild and speare , Protecting him from danger euery where : From most vnnaturall foule Conspiracie , From Powder plots , and hellish Treacherie , Whilst he both liu'd and dyde , belou'd , Renound , And Treason did it selfe , it selfe confound , So I inuoke th' Eternall Prouidence To be to Charles a Buckler and defence , Supported onely by the Power Diuine As long as Sunne or Moone or Starres shall shine . To all that haue Read this Poeme . I Boast not , but his Maiestie that 's dead Was many times well pleasd my lines to read : And euery line word , syllable and letter Were ( by his reading ) graced and made better , And howsoeuer they were good , or ill His Bounty shewed , he did accept them still ; Hee was so good and gracious vnto me , That I the vilest wretch on earth should be If , for his sake I had not writ this verse My last poore dutie , to his Royall Hearse , Two causes made me this sad Poeme write , The first , my humble dutie did inuite , The last to shunne that vice which doth include All other vices , foule ingratitude . FINIS . 
A13471	----	A most horrible, terrible, tollerable, termagant satyre most fresh and newly made, and prest in print, and if it bee not lik'd, the Divells in't. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1639 Approx. 48 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 18 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13471 STC 23774.5 ESTC S111394 99846751 99846751 11738 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13471) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 11738) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1643:6) A most horrible, terrible, tollerable, termagant satyre most fresh and newly made, and prest in print, and if it bee not lik'd, the Divells in't. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2+], 33, [1] p. : ill. (woodcut) Printed by Thomas Cotes, [London : 1639] In verse. Title from caption title, A4r; only known copy lacks all before A3. Imprint from STC. Caption title, A3r: To his friend Iohn Taylor, the ingenious poeta aquaticus, and the author of this most wholesome following black-mouth'd biting satire. Reproduction of a photostat of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Satire, English -- Early works to 1800. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-08 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion To his friend Iohn Taylor , the ingenious Poeta Aquaticus , and the Author of this most wholesome following Black-mouth'd biting Satire . NOr speach nor silence now a dayes protects Men from the Critticks Bolt , he spyes defect●… ( At least pretends so ) in the thought of man As well as in his actions ; shall I than That have a free-borne spirit balke the way , Because a Dogge barkes , or an Asse doth bray ? Or cause some rash foole , such an one as hee That late revil'd the Prince of Poetry Shall rip up thy beginning , and shall raile And find exceptions out ( Sans head or taile ) Shall this I say deterre me from bestowing An approbation where 't is justly owing ? No , I have read thy Fancies , and desir●… Whilst others censure thee , I may admire How the Castalian Flood should swell so high To drench thy Skull , and raise thy Poesie To such a pitch ; while many a Learned braine Spake onely prose , short of thy weakest straine : Meane while thy Bookes and these salute ●…hee , all Thy friends here doe the like in generall : And this thy harmelesse and just Satire shall Make thee and it ; be lov'd in generall . W. Gainsford Allandro pasqueto Mallatrumpa entantrino liuroe . Il vento Chioli , Mauritambull Tella fulg●…e , Antro della campo il Danto Cordi sublima Pantatbos , stremo standina eschine vandri Bene in shendo , tercia penthe dissadi . M●…crops , Sans fida vocifera Randa Bavinea , Allatendrea quanto , Eltrada Pizmin●… venta , Mega Pollimunton , Theorba quasie quicunque Triptolina Tiphon , Quabacondono sapho . Terra trag●…us sophye , sunt di●…calcitheo Geata . A vostre Obserdandi Zhean De FA vostre Obserdandi Zhean De Fistye cankie De sallamanca Andalowsia . Or thus you may English it , in the transcending praise of the Author , and his following Book . Till Phoebus blustering blasts shall cease to blow , And Aeolus shall hide his radient Raies , Till Vulcans Forge be fram'd of Scithian Snow , And Neptune like a Shepheard spend his dayes ; When Satuane shall sell Mouse-trapps , and allow Mars to sing Madrigalls , and Round-delayes : Then shall thy Booke and thee be out of Date , And scorne the fu●…ry of consuming Fate . To your Worthinesse in all Observance Devoted Iohn Defistie Cankie of Sallamanca in Andalusia . A most Horrible , Terrible , Tollerable , Termagant Satyre : Most fresh and newly made , and prest in Print , And if it bee not lik'd , the Divells in 't . 1 Satyre . The Proud man. WHat in the World doth true contentment give , That Man should have desire therein to live ? Yet is it not so full of sinfull staines , But he doth make it worse that most complaines . Pride doth for Hamans Honour madly hope , But never minds his Ladder , or his Rope ; So Elephants are mighty Beasts , but when They fall can hardly ever rise agen : And 't is a signe that honour is extorted , And basely got that is with pride supported . That cannot mount men to eternall Blisse , Which cast the Angels thence to Hells Abisse : It is a Fabricke that on Sand is builded , A feigned glory with damnation guilded . Ambition deemes the world not transitory , And Flattery blowes the Bladders of Vaine-glory , Which makes th' ambitious swim to honors brink ; Untill Time pricks their Bladders ; then they sink . By fooles he may be valued at high rate , A Bugbeare , or a Skar-crow in a State , A Mountebanke of Honour , or a Thing , That may in Post-hast to Promotion spring : And may with whimsies milch a Common-wealth And purchase , by his Universall stealth , Gods curse and mans , and more ; he may doe this Be way of Change , or Metamorphosis ; ( need , Turne men to Silke-wormes , forcing them through From out their bowels spin his gawdy weede . Consider this thou new made Mushrom man , Thy Life 's a Blast , a Bubble , and a Span ; And thou with all thy Gorgeous trappings gay , Art but a Mouldring lumpe of guilded Clay . Thy out-side may be Rich , thy inside poor , ( doore Worse than the wretch that beggs from doore to What though thy Coate be richer Stuffe than mine ? And that thy Linnen be more pure and fine ? Or that thy Periwig bee sweetly scented , Most neatly Keam'd , slick'd , curled and indented ? What though I be nine dayes behind the fashio●… Or that my Breech be of the old Translation ? Not to be drawne on with a shooing-horne As Quaile-pipe Breeches are , and wise men scorn What though with points I am not Trust below My small unto my anckle ? ( Oh rare show ) What though that I observant be to thee , And stand before thee bare , with bended Knee ? Will my Hat off , cause thy head cease to ake ? Or my Leg make the Gout thy Limbes forsake ? Or doth not my poore duty puffe thee higher , And swell thy too much hatefull Pride t' aspire ? Then is my manners quite misplac'd , for I Have no mind to commit Idolatry ; Unto a thing that 's out of Reliques made From Drapers , Mercers , and the Silk-mans Trade I 'le bend no Knee , nor shall my Bonnet Wagge , To Velvet Remnant , or a peece of Shagge ; A Plush Plus ultra man in scorne and pride , Such Ioyes , such Popping-joyes my Lines deride : His Tayler made , and shap'd , and trim'd , & trick'd him And ( like a young Beare ) into fashion lick'd him : He put his Corps insuite , and brave Array , And after puts his Bill in 〈◊〉 for pay , Such Things as thos●… Nor will I give For though man Of all the trea●… ●…t hath he not these gifts to man allow'd , ●…at he should be thereby ambititus , proud . ●…ere must be neate distinctions of Superiours 〈◊〉 Habits ; to bee knowne from their inferiours : ●…t hee 's a Cinnick , and a stupid Stoicke ●…at will not Reverence such as are Heroicke ; ●…odnesse with Greatnesse , Merits , Dignity ●…ost gracious gifts of Heavens Benignity ) ●…r Honours due , where Honour doth belong ; ●…d those that yeeld it not their soules doe wrong . ●…d gorgious Garments may be justly worne , ●…t yet not lin'd with pride , contempt , and scorne . ●…od doth hate Pride , the gate of Heaven is low , ●…nd all that enter there must humbly Bow. ●…alew no man for that which hee doth weare , ●…or value any man for what they were : ●…is in-side being good , I care not which , ●…hether his out-side be or poore or Rich ; ●…or Tarquin 't was unkingly , most unfit ●…or him a Rape on Lucrece to commit ; ●…et though the fault were foule , 't is understood ●…was done by lustfull youth , and heate of blood : ●…o doubt , but Tarquin ( in those Heathen Times ) 〈◊〉 th●…t fact 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 other crimes ; , ; to Riot , ; But all these Vices were not in him seene , They seem'd in him as if they had not beene : For they ( like Vermin ) all did hide and shrow●… In th'odious Title of Tarquin the Proud. Thus though mans Life to sundry sins is thrall , Prides gaudy Ca●…opy doth hide them all . 2. Satyre . The Avaricious or Covetous Man , and Projector . WHat Title best befits that cursed Wretch , That daily makes his Cheverell Conscienc●… stretch , His mucke unto his Neighbours mucke to joyne , And be a Bawd to his engendring Coyne ; Whose soule to damned Avarice is sold , And ( like an Atheist ) knowes no God ( but Gold ) And pale-fac'd Silver is his Goddesse pure , To gaine whom , he all slavery will endure ; Doe any villany with hand or Braine , ( Provided that the end of it be gaine ) Live like a Rascall , beggerly and bare , Lye downe in sorrow , and rise up in care ; Rake , and racke Tenants to the very Bones , Respecting neither Teares , or sighes , or m●…anes ; And keepe 〈◊〉 House ( as Hunger-starv'd as Hell ) ●…ith whom the Mice and Rats disdaine to dwell ; ●…hose Christmas Dinner ( in a Pipkin drest ) ●…e counts a costly and Voluptuous Feast . ●…t let him be invited once abroad , ●…he tiranizing Wolfe will lay on load 〈◊〉 if he never in his life did eate ; ●…r that he never after should see meat : ●…us often his ung●…ily Guts are cram'd , ●…ot at his owne charge , he will first be dammn'd ; ●…hus Begger'd in his m●…d insatiate ●…e lookes on ●…idas State , forgets his Fate ; ●…e will not weare the Asses Eares in vaine , ●…e once ( perhaps ) may weare a golden Chaine : ●…r if not so , he●…le serape what wealth he can ●…o make his Lack-wit Sonne a Gentleman , ●…or whom ( more Mad than any man of Goatham ) ●…ee'le dive to Tagus Sands , or Hels vast bottom ? ●…ll that he doth possesse he counts it none , ●…is Neighbours State he daily dotes upon ; ●…midst his Masse of Riches hee 's not rich , ●…is Achans Wedge that doth his soule bewitch : ●…hus like a Fiend of Hell he neither cares For Orphans iniuries , or Widdowes teares ; His eares are deafned to their lamentations , His Coffers fill'd with Coyne and execrations ; Himselfe growes old and Gouty , Rhumaticke , Most loathsome Coughing , Wayward , Chollerick , Noysome to all , and stinkes above the ground , Despis'd and slighted like a mangy Hound . His Wife , his Children , Kin , and Family All looke upon him most disdainefully ; ( ratt He coughs , spits , spawles , and in the throat do●… And death and him are in a mortall Battle : His people pitty him , and altogether They wish him dead & gone , they care not whith●… He would say somewhat but he cannot speake , He fumbles with the Sheets , his Eye-strings brea●… Within his mouth he mumbles , champs & chaw●… These 12. next following lines shall shew the ca●… A Mole 's a Mole , whose food is onely Mold , 〈◊〉 And best of mold is but refined gold : God Mammon is of such high Eminence , It makes man love Dame Tellus Excrements , 'T is vices glory , Vertues Laughing stocke , The Misers honour , and true Bounties mocke ; And he that lives a slave , and dyes a Knave , Is most unworthy of a Christian Grave . He hides his wealth , and at his dying day , He in his Dying chopps doth hide the Key ; And in those hidings he is quite bereaven Of Keyes and Lockes , and entrance into Heaven . He dyes and stinkes , and every one is glad , ( Although for fashion sake some must seeme sad : ) He must be buried , and a Banquet spent , Which if hee knew it would his mind torment ; ●…e in his life ne're kept a Feastivall , ●…nd grieves to have one at his Funerall . ●…or ought I know , his Son the head hangs down , ●…A merry living for a mourning Gowne ) ●…hen in the Grave the fragile Corps are put ●…here , till the Refurrection closely shut ; ●…nd on his Monumentall stone , or Tombe , ●…is good Deedes are Insculpt in little roome . Epi●…ph . ●…ere lyes a wight interr'd beneath this Stone , ●…ho w●…s of Age neere fourescore yeares and one●… ●…e with all hidden vertues was possest , And kept them ; for he few or none exprest : ●…n all the time which he did here survive , His holy care was to live long , and thrive ; At last Death strucke him downe , and laid him flat , He dy'd , and gave ●…he poore no man knowes what . ●…he Funerall teares are quickly dry'd and done , And now behold his long Eclipsed Son , From th'obscure Clouds of basenesse rushing forth , To shew his Father left him something worth ; He lets those Angels fly to sight externall , His Dad had long kept darke , like Fiends infernall ; He roares , and Revells , drabs , & drinks and Dices , Weares and sees fashions , & most strange devices ; Marries at last into a Stocke of State , Maintaines her , as befits a Ladies Rate And more ; because her joyes shall full be Crown He buyes a Knight-hood of five hundred pound : Her Ladiship will quickely have a care To be as proud as other Ladies are ; For though of wealth they have the Divell and 〈◊〉 Her pride shall make their Charity so small That she will make her Knight to scrape and gathe●… And keepe a base House like the slave his Father ; That e're a yeare or two be gone and past , A man may sooner breake his Necke then 's fast . And as the Ocean's bounds are largely bounded , So Avarice , is measurelesse unsounded ; The Sea hath many branches , that doe keepe Their Tributary course unto the Deepe ; As fountaines , springs , brooks , make mighty River●… Those Rivers all into the Sea delivers All these disbursments : yet for all the store Th' insatiate Ocean hath no jot the more : So Avarice , though it be still supply'd With aydes , or helpes , like a perpetuall Tyde It swallowes all , and yet , it 's Dropsie thirst Is as unquenchable as 't was at first . And now ( most pertinent ) I will expresse Th' attendance that doe waite on Covetousnesse . Mistake me not , 't is not my ayme or drift T'enveigh 'gainst honest gaine , or Lawfull thrift ; Inhumane Lucre , Spawne of Avarice , Which wretched men esteeme at so high price ; ●…at they ( above all vertues ) seeke and chuse it , ●…d will lose Heaven it selfe before they 'le lose it . ●…ucre is cruell , in an Anagram Which doth expresse the Nature of the same ; 〈◊〉 there be any thing more cruell , then ●…or greedy Lucre , men should Murder men ? Wolves in their Kind amongst themselves agree , ●…or Lucre men each others Bane will bee . ●…here are a swarme of , old Gehezies Tribe , ●…hat for the love of Lucre love a Bribe : ●…wish that they and their posterity , ●…light likewise have Gehezies Leprosie : ●…ites stoope to Carrion , Beasts to grasse & Herbage ●…o will these Mungrells doe to golden Garbage . A Bribe may spin a Suite in Law , so long That he whose cause was right , may have the wrong . A Bribe may have that force and powerfulnesse , To make the greater Theeves hang up the lesse : A Bribe , the Scales of Justice oft hath sway'd , And made a Whore passe currant for a Maid . My Satyre might an endlesse Journey run , To search what villany Bribes hath not done : What mischiefe still it doth , and more would doe , But that the eye of Justice lookes thereto ; Yet many times and oft , I heare it sed , That Justice long agoe to Heaven is fled : And that by her , our faults cannot be seene , So many Clouds are interpos'd betweene : But I would have all vaine surmisers know True Justice sees , and notes what 's done below . No Bribe , that Court of Conscience tollerates , Nor no Bribe-taker enters in those Gates . There comes no Lawyer thither that playes booty , Th'oppressors soule 's kept out , all smutch'd & sooty . The fear'd , the flaw'd , corrupt gal'd conscience , Are all eternally exil'd from thence . But as all Trees are Wood , yet every Tree Is not to burne ; some fit for buildings be , For Fruite or Physicke some , and some for shade , For divers uses diversly are made : Yet mens opinion all in this agrees , That they are all in generall call'd Trees . I have heard Broomes cald Beesoms , and I have Heard honest Titles put upon a Knave : Yeast is call'd Barme , or Ryfing , but 't is knowne That Barme , and Yeast , and Ryfing all are one . Even so a Bribe , though it can make a shift To turne the Name unto a friendly gift , A kind Remembrance , or a Courtesie , A Fee , a Present , or Gratuity ; A Thankes , or a Reward , or what you will , Yet 't is a Bribe , if given or taken ill . The sundry Names cannot the Nature alter , The name of Rope's oft put upon the Halter ; Yet hee 's a Blocke , a sencelesse Stocke or Stone , That thinks for naught to have his businesse done ; He may as well expect meat , drinke , & cloathing ; House-rent and Land : & all things else for nothing . If I will have my Lawyer plead for me , 'T is just that he from me should have his Fee ; For be I either Plaintiffe , or Defendant ; And that my cause is difficult , dependant ; If my good Lawyer doe with paines and cares , Free me from out the Lawes entangled Snares , That he , or any other whomsoever Shall doe me good , or use their best endeavour , I would requite them any way I could ; And such Requitalls for no Bribes I hold . 'T is being forc'd to give , or to subscribe Before the businesse done , that makes a Bribe ; But he that for a good turne is ingratefull , I wish him live accurst ; and dye most hatefull . Thus Bribery is a Member of great price , And chiefe supporter unto Avarice . The High-way Theefe that robs by day or night , Doth Covet that which is not his by right . The filching Rogue ( as every where 't is knowne ) Doth Pilfering covet , what is not his owne ; The Gamesters that play deepely , soone or late , Are covetous to win each others state . The perjur'd Slave is courteous , for he Will pawne his Eares unto the Pillory ; And purposely ( anothers goods to gaine ) Hazzard his soule to everlasting paine . The Cheater , Pickpocket , and Cut-purse Knave , Are covetous anothers Coyne to have ; Nick Froth the Tapster with his curtall Kan Most courteous courteous Cheates every man , False Weights or measures , be they great or small Are Avarices Slaves , and Servants all . Mounsieur Projector Monopollitan A Well compos'd , ill dispos'd Gentleman ; That for his good deservings , night and day Is pray'd for oft , ( the cleane contrary way ) The Sea of Avarice is his maine Ocean ( motion , Through which he swims , and struggles for Pro - Which being long in gaining soone is lost , Upon the waves of Envy heav'd and toss'd . The winds of sighes and curses raise a storme , ( And in the conscience lyes a gnawing Worme ) That hurles him too and fro , from place to place ; ( That he can scarcely at his meate say Grace ) He splits upon the Rocke of scorne and spight , And just disgraces Quick-sands sinke him quite . Thus have I shew'd that covetousnesse is The very Roote of all that is amisse ; All men , ( as men ) are subject to offending , My Satyre bites such , as are quite past mending . May not that man be justly call'd a foole That thinkes to make good March-pan of a stoole , Or of a Sowes eare frame a Velvet purse , Or of a She-Beare make a good meltch Nurse , Drinke Aquofortis , and sustaine no harme , Or take the Towne of Dunkirk with a Charme : The way to doe all these I 'le sooner find , Then satisfie an Avaricious mind ; A hungry Iade the World can never fill , Still feeds , still leaves , still empty , hungry still ; And so I wish all men away to beat him , Or knocke his brains quite out & let dogs eat him : But he that willingly will entertaine him , I wish an old house may fall down and braine him . 3. Satyre . The bragging Rogue . ANother Coxe-combe boasts of ex'lent parts , How he hath practis'd Arms , & studdied Arts ; His Travells to write downe would Volumes fill , Beyond our famous Sir John Mandivill : And to his reputation 't were a blot , To put him in the ranke of Don Quixot . He past the Zones , Phrygia , and Torrida , Surveigh'd the South World , call'd Incognita , And there he saw Great Gorgons empty Scull So bigge , foure Bushels scarce could fill it full . At Stamboloya , ( a most stately Port , ) Where the Emperor great Robombo keeps his Court : There in a Shamaranguah , ( which we call A Chappell ) was a building round and tall , Where as the huge Gargantuas corps were laid , The-Tombe is full a Furlongs length 't is said ; Built of a polisht stone like Crimson jet , ( Surpassing farre the Tombe of Mahomet ) Enchac'd with precious Stones that dims the sight That none can looke on 't , it doth shine so bright . From thence he past the streights of Magellan , And feasted was by mighty Pouhatan , Where 'mongst a world of dainties to be briefe , A Phaenix stew'd in white-broath was the chiefe . Tut , it will tire a man to heare him halfe He hath seene Miloes Bull , and Walthams Calfe ; The Monmouth Cap of famous Owen Glendor , And three eye teeth of th ' ancient witch of Endor : Ischartots Lanthorne , at Saint Dennisis , Th' Ephesian Dian , at the Louure is : The Amphitheater that 's at Ulismos , The Pirramids of Aegypt , or the Isthmos That parts Utopia from faire Thessaly , Or lofty Atlas that doth prop the sky . If all be true he sayes , we may him call The God of Warrs Lieutenant Generall : No Turke , or Tartar , Moore , or Mirmidon Such valient exploits hath under-gone : He learn'd Wars Horne-booke first , & did not stint But past his Grammer Rules was perfect in 't ; He first began with Trayning , Mustring , Drilling , Before he came to fighting , or to killing ; To March , to put his men in Files , and Rankes , To order a Batalia , wings , or Flankes , To lead the Vaunt-guard , or bring up the Reare , To be here , there , ( and almost every where ) To guide and mannage men , and make them stout , Double your Rankes and Files , faces about : He serv'd the Turke nine yeares , a Renegado , Where oftentimes he felt the Bastinado ; And though he wore a Coate of Bare-freezado , Yet there he learn'd the Art of a Soldado , ' T affront an Enemy with a Brav●…ado , To make a Battery , and to use Sealado ; To use Petards , Engines , Wild-fire , Granado , ' Tintrappe the Foe by secret Ambuscado ; To Raise , Mount , Parrapet , or Camisado , To make a strength more strong with Canvasado ; With his good Sword to use the Imbrocado ; The Punto , the Roverso , the Stockado : And for Land Service , or the Sea Armado , He knowes a roll of Match from Trividado . His Musick , drums , Guns , Cannons , thundring rore , As if the Welkin were in torters tore ; The Harquebuz and Muskets goe pit pat , Towers , Castles , Forts , and Ciradells laid flat ; Mines , Counter-mines , Assaults , Repulses , Sallies , Whilst Horse and men shine strow the Field●… and Battalias , battries , breaches , armies , arms , ( vallies Broyles , Garboy les , hot encounters , fierce Allarm●… : Fortifications , Camps , Redoubts , and Trenches , Va●…dres , and Counter-mutes , walls , sconses , fences , On-set●… and On-slaughts he hath beene upon , He blow up Tauris , conquer'd Babilon : He stood Pordu●… beneath the frozen Zone Turn'd to a man of Ice , or Christall Stone . The same day Mars his valour did inspire And thaw'd him brave , with Sulphur , smoak , & fire . He in the Battell seem'd a man all flame , In smould ring Powder , he that day o're came The Tartar Chrim , and neare to Samere and , He with Mackougly Shangh , fought hand to hand . The Leaguers , and the Sieges hee hath seene , The dread full dangers where he oft hath beene ; He hath daunc'd Antiques in a Crimson Flood , And swom Lev●…aes in a sea of blood : In greatest perrills he would bravely on , ( geton , His throate belch'd fogge , and flames like Phle - Thus Sallamander like , he oft hath beene In scorching flashes , and three winters in An Icye coate , like Armour shining bright He sorv'd the Pole , against the Moscovite . He hath laine downe to sleepe a Man , in show , And rose a Snow-ball , or a Ball of Snow : Like the Ca●…lion ( not to food inclin'd ) He liv'd by sucking the cold Northerne Wind , ●…ain'd by the blast of Fame , that swiftly flyes , Compounding and confounding truth with lyes . He hath 〈◊〉 Blade , ( if his report be true ) Wherewith he sixteene desperate Corporalls flew ; And eight Leiuetenants he out-right hath kill'd , Foure valiant Serjants he hath slaine in Field : Two Noble Captaines and one Generall , His fury , force perforce did force to fall . Blades broake , & batter'd Hilts , he hath had more Then any Castle can containe the store ; He had a Rapier , sharpe , pure Castilliano , With which he gor'd and kill'd a great Umbrano , For guided with an Arme and courage fierce , It quite through double Cannon proofe will peirce . Hee 'le Guard himselfe from any Bullets fall , His Sword 's his Racket , and the shot the Ball , Which though it swiftly come , he 's so quick-ey'd That with his Morglay he would turne't aside : With the same Bilbo , once he madly strikes And crop'd the toppes off , from a Grove of Pikes : Thus fighting oft in Winter , and in Summer , He had more wounds than holes are in a Scummer . A thousand blowes and bruises , knocks , & cuts He hath receiv'd ; eight times shot through the guts : He was in Leagure late before Breda . Associate with the Marquesse Spinola : And being in a Boate upon the water , A Musket shot run through his Piamater , It peirc'd his Perricranion , that his braine Was taken out and wash'd , put in againe . Yet all these wounds , and all his desperate matches , He calls them petty hurts , or simple scratches : He was so mawl'd once at Berghen ap Zone , Boyes call'd him Raw-head there , and Bloody-bone . From thence he tooke his Iourney into Flanders , And so to England where he cants and maunders ; Where though he be not now the man he was . For an old beaten Souldier he may passe . 4. Satyre . The Mountebanke , or Quacksalver . SIgneur Gonsalvo , come from Naples late , Hath in the Curcumclusion of his Pate Ingrost all Learning , and can teach the way To speake all Tongues ; ( excepting truth ) they say ; There 's not a Pissing-post but weares a Bill , That doth Proclaime his admirable skill . In Grammer , Logicke , and in Rhetoricke , Musicke , Geometry , Arithmeticke ; Bright Star surmounting rare Astronomy , Life-saving Physicke , starving Poetry : Invisible Gold Creating Alchimie Extracting , and distracting Chimistrie : These Arts perfection are exceeding rare , And are ( me thinks ) too much for one mans share : But yet this Mountebanke hath often swore That he is perfect in all these , and more . I will say nothing that may him deprave , But I will thinke he is a cheating Knave . Grammer's the ground of Speech , though all men Without it ; 't is rude , simple harsh , & weak : ( speake For though all speake by Nature , I can tell By rules of Grammers Art , men may speake well : Logick's a Speech , that seemes by disagreeing To make things be , or not be in their being ; To whet mens wits , to try and tosse conclusions , And learnedly to reconcile confusions . Rhetoriq●…e , I call th' Embroyderick , or the Varnish , That doth ( with Eloquence ) a Language Garnish : It decks speech , with stile , phrase , and illustration , And method ; and is Crown'd with Admiration . Arithmatique can shew by Numeration , How many Minuits past since the Creation : And how by finite Numbers , and by Fractions , Allusions may be made to all our Actions . Astronomie doth search the Pl●…nnets courses , Their Influences , their Aspects , and forces ; The revolutions of Time , Dayes , and yeares , And how the Sun and Moone passe their Car●…ires . Geometry shewes , squares , rounds , eranes & sinnes , Miles , engines , ovalls , quadrats , trappes , and grins ; The Sea-mans Compasse , Clocke and Dyalls , all Houses , and Shippes built Geometricall . Musicke consists of Ayres , of Sounds , of Voyces , Of Time , space , measure , which the heart rejoyces : Of Concord , Discord , Unity , Division , Which none but Affes hold in base derision . Physicke doth labour , study , search , and try The hidden secrets of Philosophy And every simple , for mans preservation ; The learn'd Physitians know their operation . But Poetry must know much more than these , It scales the Skies , it dives into the Seas , 'T is fire , earth ; water , aire ; 'T is sicknesse , health Probatum est : 'T is any thing but wealth . And Mounsieur Quack-salver , I tell thee plaine Thou lyest , to say these Arts are in thy braine . Thou hast perhaps the Theory of prating , And Iesuitticall Equivocating : But for the Practique , thou as much dost know , As he that said that Corne on Trees doth grow : What madnesse hath possest our Nation here , That take delight to buy their deaths so deare : Can not our Doctors we in England have , Send us as cheape as Strangers to our Grave : Or doe not our Physitians well deserne To kill men , but they must French-men learne , Of Germanes , or Italians , oh base , And insupportable most vile disgrace : I dare presume that we know every way To helpe , hurt , kill or cure as well as they . But al things strange are rare , al 's good that 's deere I muse we have no forreigne Hang-men here . 'T is miserable comfort , poore reliefe , More danger 's in the Physicke than the griefe : Diseases oft are of such strange conditions They kill not , if not help'd by strange Physitions . Like Conjurers , they give their Pagan drugs , The fearefull name of the infernall Bugs : A Bitter Divell , Collaquintida , A Stinking Divell , Arsefetita ; A Pockey Divell , call'd Zarsaperilla , A mortall for the Morbus Gallica : Elaphoboscon , bane Cantharides , Aureum Pomona , of th' Hesperides . With these ( or such like Bug-beare words as these ) They 'le fright a sound man into a disease , And often put a sicke man in such fits , That he falls quite besides his little wits . But leaving such impostures as these be , The scorne of Physicke , and Chyrurgery , A swarme of Vipers , of so vile desert , So empty of experience , wit , and Art , That all their learn'd and over-boasted skills , Th'affore said posts doe weare in Printed Bills . And when unto the World it doth appeare , They can doe halfe the Cures they promise there ; I for my writing will Repent , and mourne , And beg forgivenesse ; and my Satyre burne . 5. Satyre . The Alchimist NOw shall my flagging Muse a while persist , And blaze the Honour of the Alchimist ; Fire , Water , Aire , Earth , to us presents , The Names and Natures of foure Elements : But Alchimy ( prepoiterously ) doth strive To Multiply those Elements to five : From Ioves and Mercuries quicke influence , The Alcimist will draw a Quintessence ; With which extraction he a Stone will mould , That shall turne Tin , Brasse , Steele , & Lead , to gold . He doth professe that Stone shall lengthen health , Prolong our lives , give us aboundant wealth : But divers wealthy men his skill have try'd , And as they fooles did live , they Beggers dy'd . Could he helpe others he would helpe himselfe , To that impossible ne're purchast pelfe ; For commonly he 's in a greasie Coate , Old Hat and Boots , and cannot change a Groat : Yet promiseth with more gold to possesse us , Than Romane Cressus had , or Lidian Cressus . But yet from these his golden hopes to feed , He borrowes mony still to serve his need : He daily tries new-found experiments , Soape , Stibium , Salt , and such ingredients As is Argentum vive ; Ordure , Urin , Coales , Crusibles , Lead , Allom , poysonous Vermin , For he hath Guelded all the Philosophers , And with their onely Stone hee 'le fill our Coffers . The Ridling and sophisticated Names Are most mysterious Dog-tricks , or May-games ; For when the Furnace , or the Crusible , Begins to worke , or seeme conducible , He calls it the Greene Lyon , and anon , As soone as that first foame is Presto , gone ; Then bubbles up the Fleeing Heart apace , To whom the Fleeing Eagle straight gives Chase : Next Master Alchimist puts in his Toole , And then amaine huffs up the Dauncing Foole. The Dragons Tayle mounts next in Fog and froath , And next the swolne Toade , in a Bumble-broath : Last comes the Crowes head , ( ugly blacke to see ) . More blacke ten times than any blacke can be . Then mounts the fume unto the Azure Skye , And straight drops downe the Seale of Mercury ; And presently the golden worke is done , ( Almost as neare as when 't was first begun ) For then the Stone invisibly doth fall , Which ( if he could but see ) would make us all . But least we chance to see it and not know it , What private markes it beares I le plainely shew it ; The substance of it is nor Fire , nor Water , Nor Earth , or Aire , nor Elementall matter ; It hath no shape or collour , nor is fram'd Like any thing that is unnam'd , or nam'd : 'T is neither light , or heavy , soft , nor hard , Nor sharpe , or blunt , flat , ovall , round , or squar'd : It is not sweet , nor doth it stinke out-right , 'T is not unpleasing , yet gives no delight . This is the Stone which many men desire , And he that finds it shall have for his hire Twelve Hogs-heads fill'd ; and 24. Buckets , Of Peices , Royalls , Nobles , and of Duckets : Thus to its owne and unknowne worth alone , I leave this Sterrill ( Gold begetting ) Stone . 6. Satyre . The Hypocrite . ANd now my Muse hath got an appetite , To touch a little of the Hypocrite ; But let not any Reader thinke that I The name of knowing Zeale doe villifie : For these my lines shall not touch any man , That ( wrong ) doth beare the Náme of Puritan ; No doubt , but many people well affected , ( Are with that Ieering Title much dejected ) Who will not sweare or lye presumptuously , And when they erre , they erre unwillingly ; Who would be just in all they doe or say , And know the Sunday from a common Day ; Who are conformable to Church and State , And have no minds to change or innovate : Who in their Callings labour , and take paine , And will doe no man wrong for earthly gaine : Who doe ( for Conscience sake ) obey command , And deale no further then they understand ; Whose faiths are known by workes , & doing good , Such men are of a blessed Brother-hood . Some such there are , whose number is too small , And happy were all men to be so all . For when the Ruffian , or prophane wretch sweares Abusing God and man , with scoffes and Ieeres If one that 's Civill mildly doe reprove them , The Divell their Tutor presently doth move them To be in Choller ; straight to sweare and ban , And call an honest man a Puritan : And thus some Rascalls hold no man in price , Except he be excusive given to vice ; But those I meane are such , whose holy fits , Approves them to be haire-brain'd Hypocrits : Who with a heav'd up hand , and white of eye Will doe a man a mischiefe zealously : They 'le pray for Pardons for sins done and past , Praise temperance , yet will sooner hang than fast ; And on Religious points will stand most stoutly , And in conclusion cozen men devoutly . Their best Opinions are like Weather-cockes , Their wits are vapours , and their heads are blocks ; Their Braines are puft , & stuft with windy bubbles , Their Concord's discord , & their peace is troubles . Caine Sacrific'd , and Iesabell did fast , Prince Absolom some silly fooles embrac'd ; So Iudas kist , when as to kill he meant , So Pilate wash'd , yet was corruptly bent : So Annanias brought his faigned gift , So Sathan alledg'd Scripture for a shift . These were all Hypocrites , and so are they That wrest , to serve God the contrary way . For many a soule ( by them prevented ) wanders In misty Laborinths , and crook'd Meanders : One would have this , and th' other would have that And most of them would have they know not what For were we bound unto their approbation , We should have a mad fashion'd Congregation . Nor doe I thinke it meete the Church should crave Their wisedoms counsell , what is fit to have , Their long Tantologie , extemporary prating , Their babling repetitions , oft repeating , Are but meere froath , without Pith , weake , ungrounded , And these have many a Conscience prick'd , and wounded ; For they will turne a Wind-mill to a Cow , And of a rotten Cloake-bag make a Plow . Ixion , so his time in vaine did wast , When ( stead of Iuno ) he a Cloud embrac'd ; Upon which Cloud the Centaures be begot , And such strange Monsters breeds their zeale so hot : Or like the fellow in a Moone-shine Night , Saw in a Pond or Poole , her likenesse bright ; And Riding in to give his Mare some drinke , The Moone behind a Coale-black cloud did shrink : He ( being drunke ) began to storme and stare , And swore the Moone was swallow'd by his Mare . Such are their reall Arguments , and such Are all their points wherein they stand so much : They most dispute whereas their cheere is b●…st , And ( in Plum-broath ) they Church & State detest : Of sacred Scriptures ( bet wixt every bit ) They Coyne interpretations with their wit ; These seperatists , the Alchimists would play , And turne our golden peace to Drosse or Clay . 'T is not their Organizing in the Nose , Their hate to Verse , or love to tedious Prose : Their seorne , like dust that 's cast against the Wind , Which in their blind eyes fals & makes more blind For Envy 's like an Arrow shot upright , Which on the Shooters heads with danger light . Thus they by Owle-light still doe misse the marke , And like poore Currs against the Moone they barke : For sure small credit to that man belongs That can be wrong'd , with bablers Pens or tongues . Awake my Muse , shake off this filthy scum , These dreggs , who altogether are a summe Of many Simples and ingredients ; Of innovating disobedience . I wish them all with holinesse endow'd , To be more knowing zealous , and lesse proud : And as for their good sakes these lines are pend , I leave them either to amend or end . 7. Satyre . The Whoore. I le tell thee who 's a Whoore ; that thing 's a Whoore Which whilst men most embrace they most abhorre , PRiz'd in the heate of Blood , at costly rate , A Dish we feed on , surfet , and then hate : They Trafficke for diseases , wast their youth In woefull Riot ; without wit , or truth . They sell their soules an heritage to win , An Heritage in Hell , deare bought with sin : Put case they compasse age ; what 's their reward ? Th' are old , poore , scorn'd , & beg without regard . They would repent them , then know not the way ; Such are all Whoores , who wilfully doe stray : There hath bin Whoors much honour'd , Whoores of State ; Who bought Damnation at a deare , deare rate : And 't is a difference , which offendeth more , Either a Coached , or a Carted Whoore ? ●…omprous whore may rustle some small time ; ●…t State and Pompe extenuates no Crime . 8. Satyre . Of degenerate Honour . HOnour is not compil'd in Ranke , or File , Or Measure , for no man hath reacht that Stile But by supernall favour ; and from thence True Honour hath it's onely influence : For S●…rdanapulus was mighty once , Yet by Voluptious frailty was a Dunce : Then what an Asse is he that hath a State Either by his Inheritance , or Fate , And squanders it , and dribbles it away , To be his Honours and his House decay : He that would be a Gentleman compleat , Should every way seeke to be good as great ; And he that is not so , himselfe doth plunge , And is the curse of man , and Satans spunge : Of Fatterers he may have a mighty shole , And in the World may boare a mighty hole ; And when he sinkes into that hole he bore●… , He dyes unpittied ; no man him deplores . God is true Honour-giver , and will still Defend it with his Eviternall Will. And let the sacred Sisters all fore-fend , That any word should from my Muse be pend That may be tooke a misse ; for I perswade My selfe , that none will kick , except a Jade : I know I play the foole in every line , But no wise man will set his wit to mine ; Nor let a Scholler to a Sculler be An opposite , though different in Degree ; For though I touch'd at damned pride before , Perhaps I should be proud if I had more . I blame the man that 's covetous , but why ? Because I want his precious Treasury . I jeere the Quack-salver , and Mountebanke , Alas I cannot reach unto their Ranke . I scoffe the maund ring Knave , and Alchimist , Yet I ( perhaps ) would faine doe what I list . I mocke the Hypocrite , yet I confesse I ( Hypocrittically ) still transgresse : And I am stark naught , so that Tongue nor Pen , Can make me better than the worst of men . FINIS . 
A13473	----	The needles excellency a new booke wherin are diuers admirable workes wrought with the needle ; newly inuented and cut in copper for the pleasure and profit of the industrious. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1631 Approx. 17 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 34 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13473 STC 23775.5 ESTC S2918 29459354 ocm 29459354 27975 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13473) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 27975) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1859:5) The needles excellency a new booke wherin are diuers admirable workes wrought with the needle ; newly inuented and cut in copper for the pleasure and profit of the industrious. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [18] p., [25] leaves of plates : ill. Printed for Iames Boler and are to be sold at the Signe of the Marigold in Paules Church yard, [London] : 1631. In verse. Signed on p. [18]: Iohn Taylor. Attributed to John Taylor, the "Water-poet" by STC (2nd ed.). Engraved, illustrated t.p. Signatures: A-B⁴. Reproduction of original in the Harvard University Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Needlework -- Patterns. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-07 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 Kirk Davis Sampled and proofread 2002-08 Kirk Davis Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE NEEDLES EXCELLENCY A New Booke wherin are diuers Admirable Workes wrought with the Needle . Newly inuented and cut in Copper for the pleasure and profit of the Industrious . Printed for Iames Baler and are to be sold at the Signe of the Marigold in Paules Church yard 1631 THE PRAISE OF THE NEEDLE . TO all dispersed sorts of ARTS and TRADES , I write the Needles praise ( that neuer fades ) So long as Children shall be got or borne , So long as Garments shall be made , or worne , So long as Hemp or Flax , or Sheepe shall beare Their linnen-woollen fleeces yeare by yeare ; So long as Silk-worms , with exhausted spoyle Of their owne Entrailes , for mans gaine shall toyle : Yea , till the world be quite dissolu'd and past ; So long at least , the Needles vse shall last , And though from Earth , his being did begin , Yet through the fire he did his honour win : And vnto those that doe his seruice lacke , Hee 's true as steele , and mettle to the backe . He hath I perse eye , small single sight , Yet like a Pigmey ; Polipheame in fight : As a stout Captaine , brauely he leades on , ( Not fearing colours ) till the worke be done . Through thicke and thinne he is most sharpely set , With speede through stitch , hee will the Conquest get . And as a Soldier ( Frenchefyde with heate ) Maim'd , from the warres is forc'd to make retreate : So when a Needles point is broke , and gone , No poynt Mounsier , hee 's maim'd , his worke is done . And more the Needles honour to aduance , It is a Taylors Iauelin , or his Launce . And for my Countries quiet , I should like , That Women-kinde should vse no other Pike . It will increase their peace , enlarge their store , To vse their tongues lesse , and their Needles more . The Needles sharpenesse , profit yeelds , and pleasure , But sharpenesse of the tongue , bites out of measure . A Needle ( though it be but small and slender ) Yet is it both a maker and a mender ; A graue Reformer of old Rents decayde , Stops holes and seames , and desperate cuts displayde . And thus without the Needle we may see , We should without our Bibbs and Biggings be ; No shirts or smockes , our nakednesse to hide , No Garments gay , to make vs magnifyde ; No Shadowes , Shapparoones , Caules , Bands , Ruffes , Cuffes , No Kerchiefes , Quoyfes , Chin-clowtes , or marry-Muffes , No Cros-cloathes , Aprons , Hand-kerchiefes , or Falls , No Table-cloathes for Parlours or for Halls . No Sheetes , no Towels , Napkins , Pillow-beares , Nor any Garment man or woman weares . Thus is a Needle prou'd an Instrument Of profit , pleasure , and of ornament : Which mighty Queenes haue grac'd in hand to take , And high-borne Ladies such esteeme did make , That as their Daughters Daughters vp did grow , The Needles Art , they to their children show . And as 't was then an exercise of praise , So what deserues more honour in these daies , Then this ? which daily doth it selfe expresse , A mortall enemy to idlenesse . The vse of Sewing is exceeding old , As in the sacred Text it is enrold : Our Parents first in Paradice began , Which hath descended since from man to man : The Mothers taught their Daughters , Sires their Sons , Thus in a line succesfiuely it runs For generall profit , and for recreation , From generation vnto generation . With worke like Cherubims Embroidered rare , The Couers of the Tabernacle were . And by th' Almighties great command , wee see , That Aarons Garments broydered worke should be ; And further , God did bid his Vestments should Be made most gay , and glorious to behold . Thus plainely , and most truely is declar'd The Needles workes hath still bin in regard , For it doth ART , so like to NATVRE frame , As if IT were HER Sister , or the SAME . Flowers , Plants , and Fishes , Beasts , Birds , Flyes , & Bees , Hils , Dales , Plaines , Pastures , Skies , Seas , Riuers , Trees : There 's nothing neere at hand , or farthest sought , But with the Needle , may be shap'd and wrought . In clothes of Arras I haue often seene Men figurde , counterfeits so like haue beene , That if the parties selfe had bin in place , Yet ART would vye with NATVRE for the grace . Moreouer , Poesies rare , and Annagrams , Signifique searching sentences from Names , True Historie , or various pleasant fiction In sundry colours mixt , with Arts comixion , All in Dimension : Ouals , Squares , and Rounds , Arts life included within Natures bounds ; So that Art seemeth meerely naturall , In forming shapes so Geometricall . And though our Country euery where is fil'd With Ladies , and with Gentlewomen , skil'd In this rare Art , yet here they may discerne Something 's to teach them , if they list to learne . And as this Booke , some cunning workes doth teach , ( Too hard for meane capacities to reach ) So for weake learners , other workes here be , As plaine and easie as are A B C. Thus skilfull , or vnskilfull , each may take This Booke , and of it , each good vse may make . All sorts of workes , almost that can be nam'd , Here are directions how they may befram'd : And for this Kingdomes good are hither come , From the remotest parts of Christendome . Collected with much paines and industry , From scorching Spaine , and freezing Moscouye , From fertill France , and pleasant Italy , From Poland , Sweaden , Denmarke , Germany , And some of these rare Patternes haue bin fet Beyond the bounds of faithlesse Mahomet : From spacious China , and those Kingdomes East , And from great Mexico , the Indies West . Thus are these workes , farre fetcht , and deerely bought , And consequently , good for Ladies thought . Nor doe I derogate ( in any case ) Or doe esteeme of other teachings base , For Tent-worke , Raisd-worke , Laid-worke , Frost-worke , Net-worke , Most curious Purles , or rare Italian Cut-worke , Fine Ferne-stitch , Finny-stitch , New-stitch , and Chain-stitch , Braue Bred-stitch , Fisher-stitch , Irish-stitch , and Queene-stitch , The Spanish-stitch , Rosemary-stitch , and Mow-stitch , The smarting Whip-stitch , Back-stitch , and the Cros-stitch : All these are good , and these we must alow , And these are euery where in practise now ; And in this Booke , there are of these some store , With many others , neuer seene before . Here Practise and Inuention may be free , And as a Squirrell skips from tree to tree , So Maides may ( from their Mistresse , or their Mother ) Learne to leaue one worke , and to learne another . For here they may make choyce of which is which , And skip from worke to worke , from stitch to stitch , Vntill in time delightfull practise shall ( With profit ) make them perfect in them all . Thus hoping that these workes may haue this guide To serue for ornament , and not for pride : To cherish vertue , banish idlenesse , For these ends , may this booke haue good successe . Here follow certaine Sonnets in the Honourable memory of Queenes and great Ladies , who haue bin famous for their rare Innentions , and practise with the Needle . I King Dauid by an apt similitude Doth shew , with Maiesty the Church her worth : And to a Kings faire Daughter , doth alude , Where to her Spouse , he brauely brings her forth , In Garments wrought of Needle-worke and Gold , Resplendent and most glorious to the eye : Whose out-side much more glory did infold , The presence of th'ternall Maiesty . Thus may you see Records of holy Writ Set downe ( what Death or Time can nere deface . ) By these comparisons , comparing fit , The noble worth of Needle-workes high grace . Then learne faire Damsels , learne your times to spend In this , which such high praisings doth commend . 2 Katharine first married to Arthur Prince of Wales , and afterward to Henry the 8. King of England . I Read that in the seauenth King Henries Raigne , Faire Katherine , Daughter to the Castile King , Came into England with a pompous traine Of Spanish Ladies , which she thence did bring . She to the eight King Henry married was , And afterwards diuorc'd , where vertuously ( Although a Queene ) yet shee her dayes did pas In working with the Needle curiously , As in the Tower , and places more beside , Her excellent memorials may be seene : Whereby the Needles praise is dignifide By her faire Ladyes , and her selfe , a Queene . Thus for her paynes , here her reward is iust , Her workes proclaime her praise , though she be dust . 3 Mary , Queene of England , and wife to Philip King of Spaine . HEr Daughter Mary here the Scepter swaide , And though she were a Queene of mighty power : Her memorie will neuer be decaide , Which by her workes are likewise in the Tower. In Windsor Castle , and in Hampton Court , In that most pompous roome cal'd Paradice : Who-euer pleaseth thither to resort , May see some workes of hers of wondrous price . Her Greatnesse held it no dis-reputation , To take the Needle in her Royall hand : Which was a good example to our Nation , To banish idlenesse from out her Land : And thus this Queene , in wisedome thought it fit , The Needles worke pleas'd her , and she grac'd it . 4 Elizabeth Queene of England , and Daughter to King Henry the eight . VVHen this great Queene , whose memory shall not By any tearme of time be ouercast : For when the world , and all therein shall rot , Yet shall her glorious fame for euer laft . When she a Maide , had many troubles past , From Iayleto Iayle , by Maries angry spleene : And Wood-stocke , and the Tower in prison fast , And after all , was Englands Peerelesse Queene . Yet howsoeuer sorrow came or went , She made the Needle her companion still : And in that exercise her time she spent , As many liuing yet , doth know her skill . Thus was she still a Captiue , or else Crown'd , A Needle-woman Royall , and renown'd . 5 The Right Honourable , Vertuous , and learned Lady , Mary , late Countesse of Pembrooke . A Patterne and a Patronesse she was Of vertuous industry , and studious learning : And she her earthly Pilgrimage did passe , In Acts , which were high honour , most concerning . Braue Wilton-house in Wiltshire well can show , Her admirable workes in Arras fram'd : Where men , and beasts , seeme like , trees seeme to grow , And Art ( surpass'd by Nature ) seemes asham'd . Thus this renowned Honourable Dame , Her happy time most happily did spend : Whose worth recorded in the mouth of fame , ( Vntill the world shall end ) shall neuer end . She wrought so well in Needle-worke , that she , Nor yet her workes , shall ere forgotten be . 6 The Right Honourable and religious Lady , Elizabeth Dormer , Wife to the late Right Honourable , the Lord Robert Dormer deceased . THis Noble Lady imitates time past , Directs time present , teacheth time to come : And longer then her life , her laud shall last , Workes shewes her worth , though all the world were dumbe . And though her Reuerend selfe , with many dayes Of honourable age is loaden deepe , Yet with her Needle ( to her worthy praise ) Shee 's working often , ere the Sunne doth peepe . And many times , when Phoebus in the West Declined is , and Luna shewes her head : This antient honour'd Lady rests from Rest , And workes when idle sloath goes soone to bed . Thus she the Needle makes her recreation , Whose well-spent paines are others imitation . To all degrees of both sexes , that loue or liue by the laudable imployment of the Needle . IF any aske to whom these lines are writ , I answere , vnto them that doe inquire : For since the worlds creation none was yet , Whose wants did not the Needles helpe desire . And therefore , not to him , or her , or thee , Or them , or they , I doe not write at all : Nor to particulars of hee or shee , But generally , to all in generall . Then let not Pride looke scuruily a-scewe , Without the Needle , Pride would naked goe : Nor yet let Scorne cry pish , and tush , and mew , Scorne is forgetfull much in doing so . Nor yet let any one presume to prate , And call these lines poore trifles , by me pend : Let not opinion be preiudicate , But mend it , ere they dare to discommend . So fare-thou-well my wel-deseruing Booke , ( I meane , the workes deserts , and not my lines ) I much presume that all that on it looke , Will like and laude the workemans good designes . Fooles play the fooles , but 't is through want of wit , Whilst I to wisedomes censure doe submit . FINIS . Iohn Taylor . LXVII XXXVII VI XXX XXXVIIII XXIII XXX XXXXIII XXXXIII XXXXI XXXXI XXXXV XXXXV XXXXV XXXXI LXXXI XXII XII LX XXXV VIII XXVI Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13473-e60 Gen. 3.7 . Embroydery antient . Exod. 26.1 . Chap. 28.2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6. I say here are the grounds and directions for many more workes then are in this Booke . Psal. 45. 
A13474	----	The muses mourning: or funerall sonnets on the death of Iohn Moray Esquire. By Iohn Taylor Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1615 Approx. 12 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 16 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13474 STC 23775 ESTC S102447 99838232 99838232 2599 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13474) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 2599) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1085:17) The muses mourning: or funerall sonnets on the death of Iohn Moray Esquire. By Iohn Taylor Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [32] p. s.n., [London : 1615] Xylographic title page. Imprint from STC. Signatures: A-B. Versos have been inked out, with no loss of text. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Moray, John -- Early works to 1800. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-08 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-09 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2002-09 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE MVSES MOVRNING : OR , FVNERALL SONNETS ON THE DEATH OF IOHN MORAY ESQVIRE BY IOHN TAYLOR . To the whole and Entire number of the Noble and Antient name of Morayes ; Iohn Taylor dedicates these sad Funerall sonnets . Sonnet . 1. WHen King Corbredus wore the Scottish Crowne The Romaines did the Brittaine land afflict : But Corbred ioynd confederate with the Pict , By whom Queene Woadaes foes were ouerthrowne . The Morayes then , to haue their valour knowne , Did first the Romaine forces contradict : And made them render vp their liues so strict , That horse and foote , and all were beaten downe . Loe thus began the Morayes honour'd Race , Of memorable Antient worthy fame : And since the fiue and fiftith yeare of Grace , In Scotland hath suruiu'd that noble name . To whome aliue , and to my dead friends hearse , In duty heere I consecrate this verse . He that is euer obliged to your noble name : IOHN TAYLOR . Sonnet . 2. VVEepe euerlastingly you Nimphs diuine , Your very Quintisence is waste and spent : Sigh , grone and weepe , with wofull languishment , Dead is the life that made your Glories shine . The heau'nly numbers of your Sacred nine ▪ He tun'd as an Aetheriall Instrument , So sweet , as if the Gods did all consent In him their Consort wholy to combine . Weepe Muses , euerlastingly lament , Ecclipsed is your Sire Apolloes shrine : Grim Death , the life hath from your Champion rent , And therefore sigh , grone , weepe , lament and pine : And let the Lawrell rot , consume and wither , Dye Muses , and be Tombd with him togither . Sonnets . 3. FRom two strong Iayles thy corps , & soul's acquite● The one compact of flesh , and blood and bone : The other vnrelenting senceles stone , By God to one , by man to one commited . I euer did expect a happie time When thou shouldst shake thy bondage from thy ba●●● I euer hop'd that thy vnwilling crime Would be forgot , and thou securde from wracke . For this I wishd , and prayd both day and night : I onely aymde to haue thy body freed , But Heau'n , ( beyond my Reason ) had decreed , Soule , body , both at once to free thee quite . Thou in thy life hast past a world of trouble , But Death from double Iayles hath freed thee dou●●● Sonnet . 4. COrruption , Incorruption hath put on , Immortall , weake mortality is made : Earths woe , hath gain'd A happy heauenly throne , By death , life dyes , by life deaths force doth fade ▪ Though death kill life , yet life doth conquer death , Death but putts off our Raggs of shame and sinne : When for a moment's an eternall breath , Life ( passing through the dore of death ) doth win . This thou well knew'st ( my much beloued friend ) And therefore thou didst dare death to his worst , But he ( much busied ) could not thee attend , Or durst not , till thy cares thy heart had burst . And then the slaue came stealing like a theefe , And gainst his will , did giue thy woes releefe . Sonnet . 5. THou Fortunes foot-ball , whom she vsd to tosse , From wrong to wrong , from woe to woe againe : From griefe rebounding backe to pinching paine , As 't pleasd the blind-fold Dame to blesse or crosse . But thou , vnmou'd with either gaine or losse , Nor ioy , or care , could vexe thy constant braine : Thou smild'st at all her buffets with disdaine , And all her fauours thou esteem'dst as drosse : Her and her Fauorites thou still didst deeme Iust as they are , not as they seeme to be : Her Minions all as fooles thou didst esteeme , And that 's the cause she would not fauour thee : Then since such reckning she of fooles doth make : Would thou hadst bene one , for her fauours sake . Sonnet . 6. 'T Is written in the euerliuing word , ( the Rule and Square that men should liue thereby ) Afflictions are the tuch-stones of the Lord , By which he onely doth his seruants trie . Then Noble Moray , thou hadst many a tuch , And still thy patience good and currant prou'd , Thy manly cariage in thy griefes were such , Which made thee ( more then much ) admird and lou'd . What yeare , what month , weeke , day or fading houre Wherein some mischiefe did thee not befall ? Yet had Afflicton ouer thee no power To conquer thee , but thou didst conquer all , Vnnumbred times thou wast both tucht and tride , And in thy makers feare and fauour dide . Sonnet . 7. WE●pe heart , weepe eyes , weepe my vnable pen In teares of blood of water , and of Inke : With bread of sorrow , and afflictions drinke I liue , for I haue lost a man of men . Yet heart , eyes , pen , dry vp your teares agen , He is not lost , he 's rather newly found : Enfranchisde from a dolefull theeuish den , And with a rich Immortall Crowne is crownd . Then heart , eyes , pen , no more with teares be drownd ▪ Weepe not for him that doth reioyce for euer : Yet this againe my comfort doth confound , Hee 's lost to me , and I shall finde him neuer . Then weepe Muse , heart , eyes , pen , lament and weepe My ioyes are buried in eternall sleepe . Sonnet . 8. SLeepe gentle Spirit in Eternall rest , Free from all hart tormenting sorrow sleepe : Whilst I doe vent from my care crazed brest , Hart-wondring sighs that there their mansion keepe . And let my Grones from out that Cauerne deepe , With lamentations and cloud cracking thunder And let mine eyes an Innundation weepe , Let sighs , grones , teares , make all the world to wonder I meane my little Microcosmo world , sigh stormes , grone thunder , weepe a floud of teares : Through eu'ry part of me , let griefe be hurld . That whosoeuer my lamenting heares : May moane ( with me ) the cause of this my Ditty , Or if not moane with me , vouchsafe to pitty . Sonnet . 9. SInce cursed fates haue fatally decreed , To tosse and tumble harmles Innocence : And all the crew of Hells Abhortiue breed Haue glutted Enuies maw , by lawes defence . Yet God whose knowledge knowes the least offence , Who all thinges sees with his all-searching eye : Doth with his glorious great omnipotence , Right wronged wrongs , and heares his seruants cry . His mercy 's not immur'd within the sky , But freely he doth power it downe on earth : He with afflictions scorge his sonnes doth try , And when he pleases turnes their mone to mirth . And though man liues in care , and dies in sorrow , A heauy euening brings a ioyfull morrow . Sonnet 10. VVEll hast thou Run in this thy weary race , Well hast thou fought with Sathan hand to hand : Th' ast won the Goale , and gaind the blessed Land , That 's neither limitted with time or place . There thou attendest on the throne of Grace , There Angells , and Archangells sweetly sing : Eternall praises to th' eternall King. And see the Glorious brightnes of his face . All this ( I doubt not ) but thou well hast don , Not of thy selfe ( with shamefull sinne poluted ) But thy Redeemer hath the conquest won , And vnto thee the victori's Imputed . He paid the score , and canceld all thy bands , And gaue thee to his blessed Fathers hands . Sonnet 11. NOw may you theeuing Poets filch and steale , Without controulement breaking Priscians pate : For he that whilom could your theft reueale , Your Criticke , and your H●ppercritick● late . Now may you cog and lie , and sweare and prate , And make your idle verses lame and halt : For by the powre of Euiternall fate , He 's gone that could and would correct each fault , But you haue greatest cause to moane his want , You sacred heau'nly Sisters ( three times thrice ) He from your Gardens , could all weeds supplant . And replant fruits and flowers of peereles price ; He kept ( vnbroake ) your Numbers , Tipes and Trop●● But now hee 's dead , dead are your onely hopes . Sonnet . 12. AS Solon , to rich haples Cressus said , No man , is happy till his life doth end : The proofe in thee so plainly is displaid , As if he thy Natiuity had kend . What mortall miseries , could mischeife send , But thou therein hast had a treble share : As if Calamities their powers should bend , To make thy Corps a treasure house of care . Yet fell Aduersity thou didst out-dare , And valiantly gainst stormes of woe resisted ; Loue of the world thy minde could not insnare , Thou knewst wherein the best of best consisted . And as olde Solon said , so I agree , Death makes men happy , as it hath done thee . Sonnet . 13. NO Monumentall Trophe , vertue needes , And good Report a marble Tombe out-weares : Fame plaies the Harrold and proclaimes mens deeds , Her● Trump's shrill sound the spacious world heares . And such a vniuersall Tombe hast thou , Borne on the tops of thousand thousand tong● : Thy liuing merrit doth thy name allow , A Monument for euer , which belongs To none but such as whilom was thy selfe , Who vsd the world as if they vsd it not : And did acknowledge misbegotten pelfe , Must ( like the getters of it ) Rust and rot . And such a liuing Tombe thy Corps inherit , A good Report , according to thy merrit . Sonnet . 14. HAd I the skill of Homer , Maro , Naso , Or had I that Admir'd ornated stile : Of Petrark , or the braue Italian Tasso I could not ouermuch thy praise compile . But as I am ( Alas and woe the while ) A poore vnlearned silly simple swaine : At whose attempt the world with scorne will smile , And flout 〈◊〉 th'unshapen issue of my braine . But duty bids me launch into this Maine , Though my performance be but weake of store , Yet worthy mindes this goodnes doth retaine , Not to despise the seruice of the poore . I lou'd him liuing , and my loue to show , My least and last poore loue I heere bestow . 
A13477	----	Newes and strange newes from St. Christophers of a tempestuous spirit, which is called by the Indians a hurry-cano or whirlewind Which hapneth in many of those ilands of America or the West-Indies, as it did in August last, about the 5. day. 1638. Blowing downe houses, tearing up trees by the rootes, and it did puffe men up from the earth, as they had beene feathers, killing divers men. Whereunto is added the true and last relation of the dreadfull accident which hapned at Withicombe in Devonshire the 21. of October last past. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1638 Approx. 23 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 12 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13477 STC 23778.5 ESTC S110796 99846270 99846270 11226 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13477) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 11226) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1005:05) Newes and strange newes from St. Christophers of a tempestuous spirit, which is called by the Indians a hurry-cano or whirlewind Which hapneth in many of those ilands of America or the West-Indies, as it did in August last, about the 5. day. 1638. Blowing downe houses, tearing up trees by the rootes, and it did puffe men up from the earth, as they had beene feathers, killing divers men. Whereunto is added the true and last relation of the dreadfull accident which hapned at Withicombe in Devonshire the 21. of October last past. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [4], 20 p. : ill. (woodcut) By I[ohn] O[kes] for Francis Coules dwelling in the Old-Baily, Imprinted at London : 1638. By John Taylor. Partly in verse. Printer's name from STC. Identified as STC 21558 on UMI microfilm. Reproduction of a photostat of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Saint Kitts -- History -- Hurricane, 1638 -- Early works to 1800. Widecombe in the Moor (Devon) -- History -- Storm, 1638 -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Newes and strange Newes from St. Christophers of a tempestuous Spirit , which is called by the Indians a Hurry-Cano or whirlewind . Which hapneth in many of those Ilands of America or the West-Indies , as it did in August last , about the 5. day . 1638. Blowing downe houses , tearing up trees by the rootes , and it did puffe men up from the earth , as they had beene Feathers , killing divers men . Whereunto is added the true and last relation of the dreadfull accident which hapned at Withicombe in Devonshire the 21. of October last past . Imprinted at London by P. O. for Francis Coules dwelling in the Old-Baily . 1638. New and Strange News from St. Christophers , of a tempestuous Spirit , which is called by the Indians a Hurry Cano , which happeneth in many of those Islands of America , or the West-Indies , as it did in August last the 5. 1638. GOD , who is every way infinite and incomprehensible , is pleased sometimes in his just Judgments , to punish or restraine by Terrours and Affrightings , most obstinate and rebellious sinners : for those that will not lovingly be allured to obey him for his Goodnesse and unspeakable Mercies , will be fearefully inforced to abide the rigour of his most upright and severe Justice , by which meanes Hee makes his wayes to be knowne upon Earth , and his saving health amongst all Nations . And it is to be noted , that where God is least knowne and honoured , there the Devill hath most power and domination . But hee that drew light out of darknesse , hath often ( and can when he wil ) draw good out of evill ? for through slavery and bondage many people and Nations that were Heathens , and barbarous , have beene happily brought to Civility and Christian Liberty . The Great Alexanders conquests , those whom hee overcame , learned to build Townes , Cities , and defencible places , to apparell their naked bodies , in their thraldome they found Religion : and whereas in their Freedomes they did use to kill their aged Parents inhumanely , to eate them with savadge , ravenous , most greedy Gormandizing , by Servitude they learned more reverend Duty ; they were taught the Rites aud Lawes of Matrimony : And whereas in their licentious freedome , they bedded with their Mothers , Sisters , Daughters , and Neeces , not sparing any Kindred , Aliance , Propinquity , or any degree of blood or consanguinity , they by Servitude learned better life and manners ; and also by being conquer'd and overcome , they were taught the use of Armes , the practice of Arts , and the laudable Experience of Tillage and Husbandry . And such as these rude people were in ancient times ; even such were the first Inhabitants of this our Island of great Britaine , untill such time as more civiller Nations did conquer , tame , and teach us . Yet in the latest Daies of the World all are not civilliz'd ; there are yet many Heathens , Indians , and barbarous Nations unconverted : as for the knowne Examples in America , and in divers Islands adjacent , where this Hurri Cano is frequent ; of which with the manner of the Description of it as followeth . From whence the name of it is derived , I know not ; but the Indians doe call it Hurri Cano , or Hurri Caenae , or Cani : some say that it comes to the same place once in five yeares , but that is uncertaine , for it hath no certaine or set times of either yeares or dayes for the comming of it . It is held by the Natives to be a Spirit , it comes with such an extraordinary violence , with Thunder , Lightning , and impetuous gusts of winde , ( as it hath done many times ) for it touches not all places there , but sometimes it comes but once , or never in a mans age to one place , and more often to another , according as it is sway'd or hurried with its owne robustuous motion , or as the influences and force of the Planets doe drive it : and the Indians are so skilfull , that they doe know two or three or foure dayes before hand of the comming of it , and then they doe make provision to prevent the harme which it may doe unto them , by such meanes as shall be related in the latter end of this Treatise : the Indians doe know when it will come , by the markes or signes here mentioned . They doe observe that just so many daies as it will be before the Hurri Cano doth come , so many Circles will bee as it were fringed and gleaming about the Moone : as if it bee but one day before it come , then there will be but one Circle ; if two Circles , then it wil be two daies ; and so perhaps three or foure Circles , as it did lately at Saint Christophers , where it came in that fearefull and unresistable fury , on the fifth day of August last , 1638. Where , although that the Dutch and English had warning of the comming of it , by the knowledge that the Indians had by observation of the Moone and the Circles , and that all possible meanes was used for the safeguard of men ships , and goods , yet when it came , the force of it was so great , and continued so vehemently the space of foure dayes and nights without intermission , that maugre all the industry that could be , it sunke five Shipps , whereof two were English , and three were Dutch ; and of Englishmen , Dutchmen , and Indians , it did drowne and kill to the number of Seventy and five persons , besides the harme it did to many Houses and goods . Where the Here or Hurri Cano comes , the Winde doth blow so strong and forcible , that it will puffe men from the ground into the Aire five or sixe foote high , as if they were no more but ragges , clouts , or feathers ; and so violent it is , that it leaves not a lease upon any Bough or Tree : and likewise it overthroweth many Trees , rending them up by the roots , so that the Inhabitants ( when they are warned of the comming of the Hurri Cano by the Circles about the Moone ) they doe lop off the limbes and great heads off from the Trees , because the violent and outragious Tempest of the tempestuous Windes shall have the lesse force and power to overturne them ; and especially those Trees which they doe intend to preserve and keepe for bearing of fruite , they doe commonly cut off , and graffe them againe by our English advice . The people all of them forsake their Houses , as not daring to remaine in them for feare that they should be blown down about their eares ; at which dangerous times they do creep for safety into holes Caves , pits , Dens and hollow places of the earth , which are either naturall of themselves , or digged and framed by Art or laborious industry of man , which places are good harbours and defences against the Hurry-Cano . They doe likewise tye or make fast Hamackoes or hanging Cabin unto two Trees that are lopy'd , and then the people do get into those Cabins , & so they do lye downe in them , being hang'd above the ground sixe or seaven foot , eyther with strong Ropes or iron chaines ; and so they swing two and againe like a Bell when it is rung , when this tempest is ; their Hamackoes are made either of course linning cloath , or of strong stuffe made of twisted threads spun out of the rindes of trees ; some who have not these Cabins , do for feare bind themselves with cords , singlely or severally to divers trees , and so they do remaine bound untill the fury of the Hurry-Cano is past . And this is the true relation of the nature and quality of it , and also partly of the harmes which it did in the moneth of August last past . The Indians do fore-know it by certain circles which appear about the Moone , and those Indians that are servants under our English , did give some notice , or else far more hurt had insued ; and is when the Moon hath divers circles like mists and fogs about it , and of a flaming colour , and by some other signes , the people doe sometimes save themselves and their goods , in making caves or cellers in the ground , or else they loose all . But for a late remarkable proofe of Gods mercy and power , in drawing good out of Evill ; I desire the Reader to note that in the year 1609. eight ships were bound from London unto Virginia , Sir Thomas Gates , and Sir George Sommers Knights , were General and Admirall of the Fleete , and Captaine Newport was Vice-Admirall . The Admirall Ship , wherin Sir George Sommers was , was by a Hurry-Cano disperst and sundred from the rest of the Fleete , and with the greatnesse of the storme driven between two rocks at the Iland of Bermudas , where his ship stucke fast , and was there lost and split . But hee landed all his men safe , with some of his chiefest goods , where hee found good reliefe of Swine , Fish , and Fowle . But Sir Thomas Gates and the other Ships did give Sir George with his men to be utterly lost & cast away , but he made such shift , that with Timber that hee found , and fell'd in the Island , he caused two Ships to be built , with the which he sayled from the Bermudaes to Virginia , ( after hee had beene tenne Moneths supposed dead ) where he was most joyfully welcomed : and thus out of this great danger ( which in mans imagination was evill ) God was graciously pleased to make it the happy finding and discovery of that good and fruitfull Island , the Plantation whereof is now so profitable and beneficiall to the English Adventures ; and the Bermudaes , with some other Islands , are at this time called the Sommer Islands , in memory of Sir George Sommers , who was the first discoverer of them : and thus much shall suffice for the true Report and Description of the Hurri Cano. Innumerable of other the like of such things as these , I have formerly related , and many of them are Recorded in our owne Histories , to have happened in our owne Country , which who so doe desire to read more , may see them amply and truely recorded in the workes of the learned Cambden , painefull Speed , Stowe , and Howes , Histories and Chronicles , wherein they may bee certainely inform'd , that former Times have afforded as strange and fearefull Signes and warnings , as this prodigious Tempest and lamentable Accident at Worthycombe , neare Dartmoores in Devonshiere , as you may read in these ensuing Verses the whole truth , as followeth . A true Relation in Verse , of the strange accident which hapned at Wit by combe in Devon-shiere . TH' Almighty was , is , shall bee still the same , Who with his word did all of nothing frame ; Whose glory lightens all , whose Voyce is Thunder . Whose mercy's ore his works , each work a wonder Whose Powerfull Arme 's not shortned , but his Wil , ( Unlimited ) is as his pleasure still . The sacred Text unto our Faith presents , How God plagu'd sinners with the Elements Of Water , Earth , Ayre , and consuming Fire , All Creatures are his Souldiers , in his Ire ; With means , with small means , with no means at al He ayds his flocke ; and gives his foes the fall : With Water he did first the World confound , Eight Persons only sav'd , the rest were drown'd ; When Sodoms crying sins , to Heaven assum'd , By fire from Heaven they were consum'd : Inburn'd . Samaria's Captaines with their fifties , slaine By fire , when they Elias would have tane ; When Corah did rebell ( with heart unhallow'd ) Th' earth gap'd , him wth his cōpanions swallow'd . By putred Ayre ( for Ishaies offence ) Dy'd seventy thousand of the Pestilence ; Hee 's Lord of Hosts , and when man runs amisse . The meanest thing Gods mighty Souldier is ; Plagues , Botches , Blaines , all mortall Malladies ; Grashoppers , Darknes , Murrain , Frogs , Lice , Flies , With Gedeons Pitchers , and with Shamgars Goade , His Enemies he under foot hath troad ; With Foxes , and the Iaw-bone of an Affe , He mighty Myracles hath brought to passe , Thus with Contemptible despised things , He tameth Tyrans ; and He Conquers Kings : Thus Heaven , Earth , Hel , Seas , and th'ut most Coasts Declare him still to be the Lord of Hoasts : His Power , by Iudeth ( a weake womans hand ) Slew Holophornes , foyl'd the Assyrian Band , By Iacls hammer'd Naile , and Davids Sling , God doth his foes to fell confusion bring : Hee 's still the same he was , and changeth never , But yesterday , to day , the same for ever . And now ( good Reader ) with attentive minde , Reade these ensuing lines , and thou shalt finde Strange Prodiges , full of amazing feare I' the Church of Withy-combe , in Devonshiere . T is worthy thy best considerations weight , One Thousand Sixteene hundred , thirty eight , These signes and sights of terrour chanc'd upon A Sunday last , Octobers twenty one ; A short space after Service did begin , ( And our best prai'rs are mix'd with too much sin ) An extreame Darknesse did begin to fill The Church , which more and more encreased still , In such Cymerian manner it did spread , That none assembled there could see to reade : The people ( all astonish'd ) straite way heares Most dreadfull Thundring , ratling in their eares , With horride sounds , in such a fearefull sort , As Cannons or great Ordnance in Report , Attended with such direfull Lightning flashes , As if the world should straight be turn'd to ashes . The darknesse still increas'd , that mist and smother Was wax'd so thicke , one could not see each other : The smell like Brimstone , and the fire & smoake Th' affrighted Congregation seem'd to choake ; With darknes , smoak , stench , , lightning & thunder ; Their soules and bodies almost seem'd to sunder . Most lamentable were the cases then , The cryes of children , women , and of men ; Dispersed in their seates in divers places , Some all astonisht groveling on their faces : Some on their Knees , did humbly God intrete , To grant them Mercy from his Mercy Seate Some , one upon another tumbling lay , Expecting that should be their latest day ; Some burnt , & some with scaldings over-spread , And every one gave up themselves for dead . The Pastor of the Parish ( Master Lyde ) With Christian courage Reading did abide And heard and saw , all that was seene and heard And was not hurt or bruised ; nor sing'd or fear'd , But praying for himselfe and for the rest , The duty of a good Divine exprest . He after saw a lamentable sight , His poore Wife in a sad perplexed plight In many parts , lightning her body burn'd , Her Ruffe and garments were into ashes turn'd : To thinke upon the torments that she felt , Will make a heart of stone , relent or melt : One Mistresse Disford with her then was fate Within her Powe , and tasted of like fate ; She was much scalded , but yet not so bad As was the harme that Mistresse Lyde than had . But God that saveth those that he will save , Unto her Maide and child , such favour gave , That though the Mistresse was hurt very sore , The Maide and child were safe at the Pew doore ; Which shewes our lives & healths are no way fixt 'Twixt death and life , oft but aboord betwixt . Two women were burnt , scalded , torne , and rent The flesh quite from the bones ; incontinent Or in a moment , that with paines opprest : The one of them that very night deceast : The other may perhaps againe be cur'd , Hope is her comfort , nothing is assur'd ; For like to flowers , we bud , we spread , and fade , To day a Man , tomorrow but a shade . One Master Hill , ( a Gentleman of fame And worth ) was strucken with the Sulphur flame As in the Chauncell , he was in his seate , The great tempestuous violence was so great , It beate his head ; against the stony wall That he surrendr'd up his life withall : And yet his Corps was found unscorch'd & cleare For no hurt on his body did appeare . A worthy Knight ( Sir Richard Reynolds nam'd ) ( Who for good House-keeping is lov'd & fam'd His Warriner that time , his Scull was cleft Three severall waies , his braines beate out and lef● Whole on the ground ; against a Pillar there Was forcibly beate of his Scalpe and Haire , And there it cleaves fast for a memory , And there that man ( untimely ) then did dye . There were some others that were scorch'd , & frid● In Lightning flashes , which since then have dy'd ; Some were but frighted , & scarce harm'd or touch●● Some were a little Scalded and besmutch'd , Some had their cloathes burnt , and their bodies no● Some had their bodies burnt , their cloaths no jot Was touch'd at all ; thus God in judgement then Remembred Mercy amongst sinfull men . There were some Seates or Pewes there over-thrown And violently turned up-side-downe ; And yet scarce any Person , great or small Was either burnt , or bruis'd ; or hurt at all : There was one man in this amazed route , That neere the Chauncell doore was going out , His Dog was with a Whirle-wind whisked round , And presently fell dead upon the ground . The man perceiv'd his dog dead suddenly , Steot backe in feare and haste , unhurt thereby . The Church in many a place was rent and torne , And sundry pieces from their places borne : And likewise ( with the lightning and the thunder ) A beame of Timber was burst quite in sunder : Betwixt the Minister and the Clarke it flew , And hurt them not , but onely brake a Pew . Also a mighty Stone the storme did teare , That fixed was the Churches bottome neare . The Steeple was most strange defac'd & shatter'd , And pieces falling down the Church much batterd . A Pinacle was , by th' Tempests forced power , Beate through the Church , that fel frō off the tower And frō the tower the stones so thick were thrown As if a handred men had hurld them downe . Yet `t is not knowne that any hurt was done To any one , by fall of wood or stone , Onely from Manaton there came a Maid , That by a Stone was kill'd , as some men said . And where the Church was broke , 't is manifest There 't was hurt most , there people were hurt least . The Pulpit to a Pillar there is plac'd , Which Pillar is by Lightning much defac'd : 'T was newly whited , but with violence blasting . It hath a blacke and Sulphury overcasting . One in the Chancell happened to espye Neare to the Churches neather-end to flye , Some things like dust or lyme , which did arise , And suddenly it flew into his eyes , Where hee for twelve houres space was blinded quite , And ( by Gods mercy ) then regain'd his sight . The Thunder and the Lightning being past , The people all into amazement cast , As if stupidious feare did them benumb , Unable scarce to speake , as 't were strooke dumb . Then Master Rowse , a Vintner there , Said , Neighbours , in the Name of God let 's cheers Our drooping spirits , you see the Church much broken , Which doth much danger unto us beroken : And therefore I doe hope , without offence , In Gods Name we may venture to go e-hence These , or the like , spake Rowse , but Master Lyde With courage ( as beseem'd his place ) reply'd , Beloved , of our prayers amend let 's make , And all of us to God our selves betake : Where can we better our soules recommend To Him , whose glory never shall have end ? Let us beg mercy from the Throne of Grace , We cannot better dye than in this place . These good words frō this good man did proceed But yet the Congregation all agreed , ( Because the Church was torne , and fearing more Would fall downe from the Roofe unto the floore ) All to avoide the danger imminent , And so with speed each party homeward went. Without , or neare the Church-yard was a Greene Or Bowling-place , or Alloy , which was seene Turn'd up in pits and heapes , so that it show'd ●n forme and shape , like Land that 's newly plow'd . About that time , of Haile a mighty shower Did fall , and most impetuously downe powre : The Haile-stones , bigge as Turkies Eggs to sight , Some , five , or sixe , and some seven Ounces weight . At Brix●●n , neare to Plimmouth , this befell , What harme it did , Report will after tell . T is said , that in the County Sommerset , At Norton , how the Church was hurt much , yet Because thereof no certainty we have , To future time I will Relation leave . FINIS . 
A13461	----	A iuniper lecture With the description of all sorts of women, good, and bad: from the modest to the maddest, from the most civil, to the scold rampant, their praise and dispraise compendiously related. Also the authors advice how to tame a shrew, or vexe her. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1639 Approx. 120 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 119 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-12 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13461 STC 23766 ESTC S111401 99846756 99846756 11744 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13461) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 11744) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:15) A iuniper lecture With the description of all sorts of women, good, and bad: from the modest to the maddest, from the most civil, to the scold rampant, their praise and dispraise compendiously related. Also the authors advice how to tame a shrew, or vexe her. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. The second impression, [20], 167, 188-236 p., plate Printed by I[ohn] O[kes] for William Ley, and are to be sold at his shop in the Pauls Churchyard, neare Pauls Chaine, London : 1639. By John Taylor. The edition statement on the title page follows "compendiously related". Printer's name from STC. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Husband and wife -- Early works to 1800. 2005-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2006-01 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2007-01 Ali Jakobson Sampled and proofread 2007-01 Ali Jakobson Text and markup reviewed and edited 2007-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A IVNIPER LECTVRE . A Iuniper Lecture . With the description of all sorts of 〈◊〉 , good , and bad . From the modest to the maddest , from the most Civil , to the scold Rampant , ●heir praise and dispraise compendiously related . The second 〈…〉 , with many 〈…〉 Als● 〈…〉 advi●● 〈…〉 〈◊〉 Printed 〈…〉 , and are to be sold at his shop in Pauls Churchyard , 〈…〉 To as many as can Read , ( though but reasonably ) it makes no great matter whether they understand , or no. HEre 's a strange Lecture toward , ( my towardly , or untowardly Reader ) for here shall be found many things worthy your observation . I know you have heard of a Curtaine Lecture before now : and shall very shortly heare of a Crab-tree Lecture also : But for a Juniper Lecture ( although the phrase or stile be ancient , yet the matter is new : ) And because it doth take , & is liked so well , I have inlarged it in many places , with many new Lectures to it : But why is it called a Juniper Lecture ? Marry for sundry small reasons ; why a Lecture , partly in Verse , indeed for no reason at all . But as the gagling tongue of a scold leapes and skippes ( like a Squirrell from one twigge or branch to another , observing neither Method or Measure ) so doth this various discourse and description of the good & bad qualities of women , skip from the vicious to the vertuous , & back againe from the best to the worst . It is said that Iuniper being on fire is the most lasting wood in the World , and that if the fire of it be rak'd up in the Embers , or Ashes , it will not be extinguished in a yeare or more , which may bee alluded to some revengeful women , who being once offended , the fire of their malice will hardly be quenched in their Ashes , or Graves . Juniper is hot and drye in the third Degree , ( as Galen saith ) and the tongue of a scold is altogether combustible : It is full of prickles , so are a curst womans words very piercing to the eares , and sharpe to the heart . Juniper hath also some qualities and vertues of good women , for as it may be used , it is a Counter-poison against any one that is envenomed ; so a vertuous woman is the honor & preservation of her husbands person and estate : the Berries & Gumme is likewise good against gripings and gnawings in the stomacke ; so is a good wife a comfortable helpe to a mans aking heart : It hath a good savour , and so hath the good name of a worthy woman , the Gumme of it is called Lachryma , or Teares , and for Teares , women ( for the most part ) have them at command ; but the best is , they are like April showres , wet and dry in a moment . But as every woman is not a patient Grissel , so she is a rare Wonder amongst women , that neither hath the skil , or the desire to scold . Vale. To the Reader . I Sing the praise and dispraise of that Sex That gives men cause of comfort , or to vex : His joy or care , his blessing or his curse . His weale , his woe , his Saint , or Divell , or worse . You vertuous worthy women ( few that be ) I know you 'le be so good to pardon me ; And yet what pardon need I crave of them , Whom I will not offend , nor yet condemne . If women that are bad I doe offend , It is the cause why these my lines are pend . And if they be not angry , I dare say , That all my labour 's lost , and cast away . Thus ( free from feare or flattery ) on I runne , To please or displease , when my taske is done . Our Grandam Eve ( in reverence ) I omit , ( But yet she plaid the foole , for want of wit ) And her weak follies incredulity , She left unto her fraile posterity : It is the earthly portion that we have : From womb , to tombe , from cradle to the grave . A woman was sins mother , but another Most blessed woman was a Saviours mother . And therefore it may well be understood , As millions may bee bad , there 's thousands good . As some are Furies , that do men torment , So some are Fairies , that gives some content : As some are Destinies , and fatall shrowes , ( Like Clotho , Lachasis , & Atropos ) To spin and reele our lives with ●ares and moanes . And cut our threads at last with sighes and groanes Yet for our comfort there are Graces three T' affront those Fates ( faith , hope , and charity . ) As there are witches that in mischiefe swell , And Syrens , Furies , Harpies , Hagges of Hell : Yet Prudence , Temperance , Justice , Fortitude , Are vertues with such mighty force endu'd , That those that doe possesse them are so arm'd , They cannot bee by Hell , or Hell-hounds harm'd . Margery Quiet of Tame , in Oxford-shire , to her Ingenious friend , the Author , she acknowledging him to be a well-wisher to all good women . MEn have the Art of flattery , to commend That most , whereto their vaine affections bend . Our beauties they extoll unto the skies , In prose and verse , with many thousand lyes ; With tongue and pen our prayses they repeat . How faire , how fine , how proper , and how neate : How handsome , and how bony , and how gay , How delicate and dainty every way We silly women are , with tooth and naile : Mens flattery still our weaknesse doth assaile . And wee ( alas ) beleeve them too too much , And what they say , wee strive still to be such . For cause they praise us for those things we see , Wee give our whole endeavours so to be . To paint , pounce , frounce , kemb , curle , purle , powder sleeke , And all new fashions to search out and seeke , To please our praysers : But if men could find , What 't were to praise the vertue of the mind , What honour doth belong to chastity , What merit doth pertain to modesty : If goodnesse with mens praises were but grac't , We should bee then more modest , and more chast . But thou ( the Author of this following book ) Ingenious , just , impartiall paines hast tooke : Thou dost commend the good , condemne the ill , For which all women , of all sorts shall still Remaine thy friends and foes . M.Q. The Table . 1. LEcture by a Mistresse to her Apprentice , as soone as she rises in the Morning , with new additions . p. 1 2. Lecture by a woman to her husband , that hath beene marryed three or foure yeares . p. 5 3. Lecture by a yong gentlewoman being a widow , to an old man , who offered to be a suitor to her , with new additions . p. 14 4. Lecture by an old rich widow to a young Gallant , who came a woing to her , that had little or no meanes . p. 18 5. Lecture by a Countrey Farmers wife , being a shrew , to her husband , for being abroad late at night , with new additions . p. 23 6. Lecture by a wife who was very jealous of her husband . p. 28. 7. Lecture by a widow , which was newly marryed , to a widower , with some additions . p. 23. 8. Lecture by an old woman , to her young husband , whom she had newly marryed . p. 3● 9. Lecture by a proud dame , because her husband would not allow her all the new fashions that are worne . p. 37 10. Lecture by a mother to her daughter that was to be marryed forth-with . p. 52. 11. Lecture a Dialogue betweene the scold rampant , & her patient Husband , with some additions , p. 71 12. Of a woman to her husband after a ramble , with new additions . p. 99 13. Of a loving wife to her husband , to perswade him from drinking , and ill company , with new additions . p. 105 A. Dialogue betweene three Gossips , over a cup of Sacke , tutering one another how to domineere over their Husbands . p. 157 Lastly , the Authors advise how to tame a shrew , with new additions . p. 170 A Iuniper Lecture . 1. A Lecture of a Mistresse to her Apprentise somthing early in the Morning , and thus she begins as soone as she awaked . HEy ho , what the Sunne so high already , and not the Boy up , nor the Shop open ? Arise you Rogue , you sleepy rogue ; can you sleepe so soundly , for all the Sunne shines in your face ? Arise , or else I will so belabour your lazie side , that I will make your eares ring Noone : you will bee calling for your Break-fast assoone as you are up ; I l'e warrant your stomacke is up already , but I will keepe you short you idle Rascal , I will make you leape at a crust , so I will ; you learne of your Master to lye a bed ; the Proverb is true , Trim tram , like Master , like man : But I 'le take another course with you , I will make you be glad to eate any thing ; you are a dainty Rogue , you scorne this thing , and that thing , you were not so well fed when you were in the Countrey ; then a little Barley-bread , and Oaten-Cakes would serve your fine chops with a murrin : Now , since you came to London , you are growne so dainty , it passes : I am sure wee had not so much money with you , that you neede take so much upon you , to scorne the worst meate that comes in my house ; nothing but Plum-pudding will please your fine chops , but yfaith I will bring you a hole lower , or else I will make you kisse Bridewell , and there you shall serve out your time : Out you stomackefull Rogue , nay , for all your pouting and lowring , I will make you know what it is to bee an Apprentise , I will hereafter make you earne your Breakefast before you eate it ; Run away if you will , and complaine to whom you please , I wil answer them , for I will never keepe such an idle lazie Rogue under my roofe : Therefore amend your manners , and follow your businesse , if you meane ever to have a quiet houre in my service ; and I will make you learne to say , if I say the Crow is white , you shall say so too ; whether it be right , or wrong , you must say as I say , and then all shall be well : Never was poore woman troubled with a man and a maide as I am ; a couple of lazie Varlets . Nay Huzy , I come to you now in the Kitchin , I thinke you agree together to breake my heart , but I will breake your heads first : All my worke is done by the halfes , even from your Master to the poorest servant I keepe in my house , but I will not talke any longer , for my words are not regarded : I will talke lesse , and doe more , I will now put on blows , and give you somthing , but it shall not be any money : I will bee reveng'd on some of you , though I cannot bee of your Master , and I will make you all know me to be your Mistresse , and will beare sway without controule . Nay , Huzzy , grumble and mumble as long as you will , I care not ; what is it you say , tell me , or else I 'le make your bones rattle in your skinne : Talke to mee ? talke to your companions at the Bake-house . I give you warning now to look to your businesse by faire meanes , for if you doe not , you shall doe it by foule . The Servants Speech to themselves . We are poore servants , the Lord God doth know , We have a good Master , but our Mistris is a shrow . 2. A Lecture of a Wife to her Husband , that hath beene married three or foure yeares . IN troth Husband , I can hold no longer , but I must speake : I see you still follow this veine of ill Husbandry , never keepe at home : Is the House a wild-kat to you ? here I sit all the day long with the Children , sighing , and looking every minute when you will returne home : yfaith this course of life must be left ; Doe you thinke I can sell your Wares , or know the prizes of them when your Customers come ? Let them looke to your shop that will , for I will not : keepe your shop , and then it will keepe you : I say , keepe home with a wanion to you , or else let all goe at sixe and sevens . You begin the weeke wel , for this day , and no longer , so soone as you were up , and ready , then to the Ale-house to your companions , to some Game or other for your Mornings Draught of strong liquor : when I ( poore wretch ) must sit at home with a cup of small Beere of foure shillings price , and be glad of it too , or else I must drinke water : I dare say , and put a Warrant to it , that I may sit at home long enough before you will send me a cup of good drinke , which you guzle downe , making your selves beasts , and not men ; for a man , if he had or bore any love to his Wife at all , which hath brought him so many Children , would some time remember her , and say , carry this home to my Wife , and remember me to her : but your children and I must bee content with any thing : I would I were dead , that you might have another wife , and then you should see it , shee would not bee made such a foole as I am by you ; I am sure I take no pleasure at all like my other Neighbours Wives , for they can goe abroad with their Husbands every day , but I , ( poore I ) once in a yeare , and glad of it then too . I would I had beene made a man , for Women are nothing but your Drudges and your Slaves , to make you cleane , and to wash and starch your cloaths : when you goe whither you please , and take no care at all for any thing . A womans worke is never at an end , and never done , but like a wheele , still turning round , and hath no end . I am forced as soone as I rise in the Morning , to make a fire , sweepe the house , and get the childrens and your servants Breakfast ; no sooner that done , and they out of the way , thinke upon Dinner ; then no sooner Dinner eaten , then I must make all the dishes cleane againe , and sweepe the House : Then because I would be thought a good Huswife , I sit me downe to spin , then thinke upon your Supper , and study what will please your dainty chops , and make it ready against you come home , when you are halfe fox't ; then the children must be straight way thought upon , or else there 's nothing but crying and brawling , which makes my braines ake agen . Then all being satisfied , put the children to sleepe , then to bed my selfe ; and thus a womans worke is never done . The Husbands answer . I doe verily thinke , when you are a bed , you doe wish that worke were never done . These Lines were presented to a young and rich Widdow , by an ancient Gentleman , hoping to obtaine her love . Eye-dazling beauties best accomplishment , Whose forme al frames of nature doth out-strip , For Nature 's strucke into astonishment , In viewing her o're-beautied workmanship : Her haire like to a curled Golden flame , Dishevel'd , spreading o're her comely shoulders ; Her Brow Loves bed , her Eyes the Graces claime : Her Lipps Loves Altars , charming the beholders , Upon which Altars Cupid made his heart A easelesse never ceasing sacrifice , And vow'd from them he never would depart , Untill shee grant no more to tyrannize . To gaine her Love , tenne thousand lovers sweares To offer Hecatombes of sighes and teares . And to this purpose hee enlarges himselfe , thinking to gaine her love and favour : After shee had read them , she charmes him for his insolency in this manner . 3. Her Answer both in Prose and Verse to the old man that gave her the verses . AGed man , with what face dare you aske a young Gentlewoman the question ? me thinkes you are burdened with such yeares , that you should now be past dreaming on a Wife : Old age to match with Youth ? 't is monstrous ; fie , fie , 't is Lust in doating age : what makes within your thoughts such wanton fire ? you are void ▪ of all good action , but in your owne opinion : Goe home , go home and rest your aged head : doe you thinke that I can give consent , where I doubt so much before hand ? or doe you suppose that I wil wedde a Statue , or lye in a Bed of Snow ? or play with old Antiquity ? When I should take my rest , then you will be a coughing and spitting , groaning and sighing , able to turne a young womans stomack from lying with you . Doe you thinke that I shall love a man that shall lye calving a bed , and have his breakfast brought to him , to cherish his appetite to performe his office and due ? No , I will have a Husband that shall be alwayes provided like a Souldier , never not with standing , but in a Centinell posture , with his Match lighted , and cocked bolt upright , and ready to doe execution : not like a Dormouse , alwayes sleeping ; or like a Droane in the Hyve , live idlely : but I will have a man active and nimble , and lively like the Spring , that can come off and on bravely , without the word of command , and not be forced by Art to doe that which Nature hath taught him ; like a Beare pulled to the stake by the Ring in his Nose , whether hee will or no : Goe to your Orizons , and tel your Beads , when I have a minde to wed old age , I wil send for you : a Candle is more fitting for you than a Wife , and a Faggot with a Chafing-dish of coales , than a young bed-fellow . Goe thinke on your place of Buriall , and set your minde on other things , than on yong women ; I will bee no old mans Darling . Thus she sent him away , and gave him this Coppy of Verses , and bid him read , and peruse them well . Like cheerefull May , and frozen January , A faire young Maidan aged man did marry : And though shee was his wife , and lay together , Yet he had very little to doe with her . At boord and bed he lov'd her in such sort , As his good will could reach to , although short Of what he would doe , and in loving parling He calls her Duck & deare , sweet heart , and Darling . On her his lands and state he doth conferre , Thinks all he hath too small to pleasure her : And shee unkindly , with a kind of loathing , Esteemes all as too little , or worth nothing . 4. Another Lecture of an old rich widdow to a young Gallant , who came a wooing to her , that had little or no meanes . BAse fellow , that dares bee so bold to aske a Gentlewoman to thy bed ; I scorne thee ; I like my selfe the worse that thou shouldst hope the gaining of my affection : darest thou aspire to such a height , to thinke that I would wedde so poore a Groome as thee , who weares all his wealth on his backe : I scorne my Chamber-maide should honour thee so much : you may prevaile , I make no doubt , in the Kitchin , for I thinke by thy thinne cheekes thou wantst a meales meate : sure thou art some Cubberd-wooer , and so farewell ; but when I want a Groome , I shall remember your name in my Catalogue , and if my Letter or word may serve you in any stead , I may perchance spare so much time as the running of an Houre-glasse for your better Preferment . I doe marvaile who durst be so bold as once mention me in that way in your company , or who incouraged you to be so impudent , to make such a salley on such a rich widow as my selfe : if it were any neighbour I knew , hee should not hereafter set a foote within my doores ; or if it were any of my houshold , they should not lodge within my roofe , but instantly would I thrust them out of my service , and send them to looke new Mistresses . I wish you forbeare , and let me have your absence : you have your answer , bee gone . An advice for some . A Widow that is rich , and wondrous old , Wooe her , and stew her tender in her gold : If she be cold , a yong mans flame will toast her , Or else his fire of youth will rotten roast her : But let him day and night himselfe apply To please her still , and shee 'le the sooner dye . On a womans tongue . THings that be bitter , bitterer than gall . Physitians say are alwayes physicall : Then womens tongues , if into powder beaten , And in a Potion or a Pill be eaten , Nothing more bitter is , I therefore muse , That womens tongues in Physicke they neare use : There 's many men who live unquiet lives , Would spare that bitter member of their wives . Then prove them Doctor , use them in a pill , Things oft help sick men , that doth sound men kil . 5. A Lecture of a Countrey Farmers wife , being a shrew to her husband , for being late abroad at night : and thus she begins . VVHat , good man Clowne , doe you thinke to make me still your drudge to sit up late , and rise thus early every day , to worke like a horse , and you to ride a hunting , gentleman-like , every morning , and none but I left at home to look after your horses in the stable , your kine in the field , your swine in the yard , your poultry about the house , your cramming of your Capons , your brewing and your baking : you a Husband ? you a Coxecombe ; a meere Lubby , a Moone-Calfe , one that hath more haire than wit : I am sure you were never brought up to take your pleasure in this manner , I know that : you were brought up at the plough and the Cart , and to cry Hy , Gee , Ho : out you browne bread crust , you know not how to use a woman as you ought ; you know better how to Cart a woman , than to Court a woman : Goe to , thou thou art an Asse , I am ashamed of thee when wee are abroad together in any company ; how thou standst a tip-toe to drinke to a Gentlewoman , with your hat in your hand , and makes such a scraping legge , that the print of thy Hob-nailes is in the Boord where thou stoodst , as if a horse had beene beating his hoofes , the scratches are so plainly seene : I never saw one more resemble a fellow they call the Lord of Portsmouth , that hath a party coloured Coat , than thou ; if any one did see you but stand together , they would take you for brothers , you are so alike : thy gray eyes shew that thouart a greedy gut ; Francis is your name , doe you remember how you fild your Guts so full of Furmatry that day you were marryed that you were ready to bust again , and how the company were glad to cut the poynts of your britches , and to bathe your belly against the fire with Capous grease , or else you had burst in sunder ; and now you are mocked ever since with the name ver since with the name of Francis Fil-gut Furmitry . Sure I was betwatled when thou camst a woing to me , that I should love thee , for I see since that thou hadst no humanity or breeding in thee , but downe right , as plaine as Dunstable High way ; for all thy Discourse , I still remember , was nothing but of thy Teame of Horse , and thy Hogges , Calves , Geese , and other poultry ware ; and in the conclusion , said , you were glad of the fine season of the year : Oh it was brave weather for your Fathers Lambes : neither canst thou reade one letter in any booke : thy Horses are better Schollers than thou art , for they understand G and O : Goe , thou art a blockhead , a Dunce , a Dullard , and canst understand nothing : I will make you hereafter learne to reade in your Horne-booke , so I will : I was told since I was marryed that when you were a little one , that your Mother sung Loubby to you , and ever since you have beene an untoward Vrchin . Out you Slabber Choppes , goe trudge with thy fellow Hob , and drive the Cart ; Thou art a course Clown , a meere Coridon , thou art not able at any time to say boo to a Goose , unlesse it be to a bowle of pottage that holds a Gallon ; and a Barly bagge pudding of a yard long , and some Bull Beefe , there I confesse thou wilt , and canst shew thy selfe a man : thou art good at nothing else , unlesse to play before the Beares with a Taber and Pipe : I see that Egge and bird thou wilt never be the better , but still lye roving up and downe from Ale-house to Ale-house , and then to come home at this time of night , and so late as it is , which thou mightst bee ashamed of : I doe marvaile how you found out the way , for you are not able to stand , nor looke up with your eyes , nor yet speake a ready word for lisping and clipping the Kings English : I see your horse had more wit than you , you may thanke him , or else you had never found the way home ; hee can tell when he has enough , but you , you drunken sot , you pisse-pot , know not when you have sufficient ; thus to come home reeling & staggering , it is a shame for you , it were a good deede to shut you out of doores all night , and make you coole your Heeles , now your brains are so hot : out you Dosser head , shallow-braind companion : In the morning then you cannot rise , then your head akes , and are sicke , and are untoward to doe , or goe about any thing ; then you promise never to drinke so much againe : Then you say , Wife give mee a little Whay to coole my stomacke , of else intreat mee to make you a posset ; but yfaith you shal lie long enough before I will pitty you , or before you have have thing from mee : I would that the next time thou drinkest in this manner , and stayest out so late , that thou mighest meete Will with a Wispe , or some Fire-Drake or other , to leade thee over Bushes and Bryers , Ditches and Watry places , that you may bee so hampered by such furies , that yon may hereafter take warning for beeing from home so late . 6. A Lecture of a Wife which was very jealous of her Husband : and thus shee goes forwards . Husband . GOod morrow wife , how doe you this morning ? Wife . As many evill morrowes mayest thou have , as I have words to speake , or teares to vent : I have heard of your joviall meetings with your Queanes and Sluts abroad : what doe you thinke to cast me off , or else to kill my heart by this your lascivious doings ? is this your madding month ? I thought you had not beene so loosely given , was this the reason that you did forsake my bed , to breath your self for your whoors abroad ? I thought it had beene your modesty and your remperance when you told mee you would lye alone because of the hot weather , and by reason of the Dogge dayes I but let me tel you , though there be Dogge dayes , yet there are no dogs nights : You shall lie no more alone I will warrant you , no , I will be no such foole , I will be no more deluded by your faire tongue and smiling lookes : I doe marvaile what occasion I have given you , or what madnesse it is that moves you thus to wrong your marriage bed . When I was first wedded to you , you know what vowes you made to love none but me : did not I forsake many a good match only for thy sake , when all my friends and kindred were utterly against it , and doe you thus requite mee , to make me a looke out now in my old age , and when gravitie appeares on your cheekes ? you should rather give good example and instructions to your houshold-servants , to live honestly and well , but you are quite contrarie from any good rule : thus by your lewd course and company you are made a laughing-stocke to your Neighbours , and I poor woman to be pointed at as I goe along the streete , for bearing it so patiently : if I had given you any cause thus to slight me , you might have had a just plea ; but I was ever willing to obey you in all your demands : I little feared this when I was first married , but now I find it too true in an unconstant husband , but I will not endure it any longer ; You shall not stirre a foot out of doores , but I will bee at your heeles , and I will so watch you , that you shall have little joy in any womans company but your wifes . Therefore have a care now I have given you warning ; looke to it I bid you . 7. A Lecture of a Widdow which was newly marryed to a Widdower , and thus it followes . Wife . VVHat , doe you meane to take me downe in my wedding shooes ? No sir , you are deceived : I had a Husband that loved mee before I knew you sirrah , and gave mee better content when I was first marryed , than you can : I come farre short of what I did expect from you , but I will never beleeve a man by his lookes for your sake , you white-liver'd slave : I had a man before , but now I have a foole : You shall finde that I will not endure it at your hands , you shall not think to breake my heart , as you did your other wives , no sirrah , I 'le warrant you , I will cheere uh my heart , and spit in my hand , and take better hold . Though you have got all my estate into your hands by your faire words , yet you are deceived ; I have a bagge in store that you shall never know of , nor bee a penny the better for it , no nor any of yours neither , for using me in this manner : my estate hath made you a man ; before you had my estate , which my deare loving husband left mee , you were a begger , and not worth a groate before you met with me , but I will give them no thankes which made the motion to mee , the next time I meete them : I 'le warrant you I will not be mealy-mouth'd , you shall know that I am a woman , and was maintained like a woman , before I knew such a poore conditioned fellow as thou art : Your betters sirrah , shall know how you have used mee , where I will relate it to your disgrace . I le warrant you , I will not bee fedde with a bit and a knocke , as they feede Dogges and Apes in the parishgarden , no marry will I not , I will have better dyet and better apparrell too if it bee above ground : for I brought you good meanes , and meanes I will bee allowed . Little doe you wastfull fellow know , how my deare husband did save it together , and went many a steppe for to get it , with the sweate of his browes : Ah poore husband hee is dead and gone , I shall never forget his kindnesse to mee : hee was the best conditioned man to mee that lived : hee was so kinde and loving , that he never came home empty handed to mee , but stil brought me home one knick knacke or other : oh he was the sweetest husband that ever lay by a woman : for if ever hee had an occasion to breake winde backwards when he was a bed , hee would lift up the cloaths , and let it out so sweetly , so sweetly ; and thou , thou carest not who heares the report , nor is any whit ashamed of it , thou art a very sloven , and a nasty beast to him , and art not worthy to carry guts to a Beare ; but I must bee content , it was my lot : yet I have some body wil take my part , know it ; nay , for all your knitting your browes , and threatning of me , I will not suffer it any longer at your hands , I have put up too much already : tread upon a poore silly worme , and it will turne againe ; I will haunt your ghost , & make your companions , which give you this ill counsell , weary of your company , and the Taverne too hot to hold you : what is spent there , is not thought much on ; but every penny , every halfe penny that you spend upon me , comes from you like so many droppes of blood : but I will have money some way or other , I wil have it by hook or by crooke , or else you or I will travaile as far as the King hath any land . 8. A Lecture betweene a jealous old woman , and her young husband , and thus she begins . I , I , follow these lewd courses still , and see what will come on 't : Alas , alas , yongster , I can see and perceive day at a little hole , as well as another can , and as farre into , a Mill-stone as another woman whatsoever I take notice , to my hearts griefe , how every day more and more you slight me : you regard not my company , neither at home nor abroad , neither at bed nor boord : you are ashamed forsooth , that I ( because I am somewhat old and ancient ) should walke along with you in the streetes , but I 'le warrant you , if any of your old acquaintance , those young gill-flurts , who tricke up themselves like a Bartholmew-faire Babie , or any other light Gossips intreate your company , oh the requst is no sooner made , but it is granted ; on goes your Cloake , and out of Doores you goe with speede , with any of these ; I have marked it , with what willingnesse you have gone , as if you went to receive a thousand pound : But if I speake to you , nay desire you , and wooe you , as 't were for my life , to walke with mee into the Towne to visit my kindred or acquaintance , or but into the fields or Sub-urbes to bee merrie , and recreate my selfe , O what businesse is pretended , what excuses are framed , what Letters wee have to write , what men wee have appointed to meete about earnest occasions , just at that very time : Or if I doe chance to get you once in the minde to walke with mee , then presently you beginne , who would bee troubled with such a Wife that can goe no faster , nor keepe companie with the rest : then you say you cannot be merrie because you have such a clog at your Heeles , and what should you doe with these women in our company ? you cannot bee so jocund as you should : And when you doe goe abroad with me , doe not I perceive how you march before after foure Mile an houre ? If I can limpe after you , or be within your sight , well and good ; if not , I may lose my selfe , for any care that you take : and why 's all this sir , ( thinke you ) but because I poore old wretch should not be taken notice of for your Wife : and cannot I observe what noddes and winkes you use to other women in the Streetes , as who should say , take warning , the old woman 's behinde , therefore passe by , and take no acquaintance ; but I tell thee , sirrah boy , that when I was yong , as now I am old , I would not have given my head for the washing , with never a wench you keepe company with : for I was brought up well , and did keepe good company , and was as much made of by young men , as you can doe possible for your heart : I have observed it from time to time , that when wee are in company to make merrie , not a smile nor a cheerefull looke shall wee get from you , no , you are then in your melancholy dumpes , behaving your selfe rather like an Hermite in his Cell , or a Monke in a Cloister , than a merrie man at the Taverne or Ale-house : And thus in my company you will sit as if Butter would not melt in your mouth , but I would have you know that I can heare what a merrie companion you are in my absence : Oh then , especially if such a one , or such a handsome woman be in your companie , you will sing , dance , tell merrie Tales , kisse , dallie , complement , drink healthes to this Mistris Fart , and this Mistris Fiddle , if the time and place be suteable . Well , well , I le say no more for shame , and yfaith , yfaith , He turne away that fine Mistris Minks your maid , for something that I have ta'ne notice of within these few daies : your nose bled forsooth the other day , and you must needes throw your bloody handkerchiffe to her , and shee with a wanion to you both , must hold the Bason while you wash your hands , marrie gip with a murren : But for that matter let me alone , I le remedy that , or else I le want of my will. I le keepe no such ●ine-snouted Minions as she is , I le have a homely huswifely wench , that hath more honesty than beauty , and a better heart than a face ; I le not be thus plagued long , out upon it , an old woman that hath out-lasted the Date of foure Husbands , and now come to be slighted by a Boy of foure and twenty ? Well , thy unkinde dealing with me will bee the death of me before nature hath appointed it . I tooke thee to be the staffe of my age , but I doubt shortly thou wilt prove a rotten one with the pox . You marry an old rich widow for a comfort ? well , I have done , 't is but folly to speake any more now , but I wish all old women never to marry a yong man for my sake . 9. A Lecture of a proud Dame to her husband , because hee would not allow her all the new fashions that are worne , and thus shee beginnes . VVHy you whoreson raskally fellow , didst thou marry me to disgrace me , and make mee a shame to my selfe , and all my Kin ? Oh it is accounted very poore and bace , to have a Cotten wast-coate laid with Statute-lace : no , I will have no such garment ; other mens wives forsooth of an inferiour ranke to you , can goe gallant and brave , and have money in their purses at command , and buy what fashion stuffe is in weare , and never let their husband so much as know of it , till they see it on their backes , nor once question them what it cost : I goe like a very drudge , nay , almost as bad as a dung-hill-raker : He warrant there is such a one , and such a one can change their Gownes , as often as the earth doth her Livery , that is , twice in a yeare ; Hats , Aprons , sweete-Gloves , and new-fashioned Gorgets , and Hand-cherchiefes answerable to them , nor must I have any new fashioned dressings to my head , or a Lawne Crosse-cloth , with a good lace , but with an ordinary Lace which cost not above twelve pence a yard ; when every durty draggle-taile Ioane , that came with nothing to their husbands but their cloathes on their backes , can bestow twenty or thirty shillings on a bare Lace , and they can have such things as they please , and I must not , or at the least can alter them without any contradiction , & Saturday night sets not a period to the weeke more certainly than the Shooemaker brings them new Shooes . But I poore wretch , which brought you as good a portion as any of them , must goe like Ioane Hold my staffe , with a Gowne and a Hat of the fashion which was worne in Eighty eight , and a paire of hose and shooes at Easter ; I am sure I have had none since , and now it is almost Christmas : I have never a paire of gloves worth the drawing on upon my hands ; thou never bestowest above eight pence or tenne pence at the most of a paire for mee , and not worth the throwing at a Dogge : Well , to be briefe , mark what I say to thee , I have complained so long in vaine , that I am weary of that way , but I le another way ; yfaith thou hadst beene better to have beene a little more freer of your purse , and not have pinch'd me so ; for I know what I know : well , there is enough said for this time ; goe to , I will want no apparrell , or any thing else , good man Rascall , I will not yfaith , picke English out of that if thou canst : if thou wilt not bestow a new fashioned Hat on mee , I le bestow an old fashioned Cap upon thee , in troth I will , & that quickly too , there is more , cracke me that Nut sirrah . 10. A Mothers Lecture to her daughter concerning Marriage , and thus shee beginnes . DAughter , quoth shee , you are now of years and size sufficient for marriage , or merry-age as you may make it , if you will be rul'd , and your father and I have taken great care for the providing of a husband for you : and not to hold you long in suspence , it is young Master Oliver Little-good , the sonne of old Ralph Littlegood , the Usurer , the Mother had no sooner nam'd the party , but her daughter was ready to fall into a swowne , and after shee came to her selfe , she earnestly besought & begg'd , that of all men in the world she might not bee teoubled with that fellow , and that she had rather to bee marryed to her grave , than to be yoaked with such a brainelesse lumpe of ignorance . The old man reply'd that hee was very rich , and withall heire to a mighty estate of Lands and money , and that Matrimony is matter of money , and without money marriage is a marage , and not merrie age : The maid repli'd againe , that shee knew he was rich , and in possibility of great possessions , but ( quoth shee ) but what but said the Mother , I know what you meane by your but , you would say that for all his wealth hee is but a foole ; you have hit my meaning right said the Daughter , and I thinke there is no greater torment on the earth , than for a woman to be match'd to a foole : Nay , quoth the Mother , now I perceive you are an idle foolish baggadge , and doe not know what 's good for your selfe ; I pray thee but marke and consider , whether it bee not a great deale better to marrie with one that is a foole already , naturally made to your hands , or to bee wedded to one that hath wit , and after that to take a great deale of care and paines to make him a foole : doe but no●e the merrie lives that the wives of fooles have , for they suffer them to say and doe what they list , they make them their Masters , they weare what apparrell and what fashion they please , they eate and drinke what they have a minde to , they goe to bed and rise at their pleasure , they walke abroad , and come home againe at their will : when they are disposed , they may have Horse , Coach , Sedan , or Boare to convey them either by Land , or by Water , either to see publick showes , or to visite and bee merry with private friends : they may be liberall and bountifull of their husbands estate , money , or goods ; they may snap , snarle , and give them taunting and harsh speeches , and they may bee intreated and su'd to , to be quiet ; they may be scolding , clamorus , proud , lascivious , voluptuous , high-fed , rich clad , commanding all , not to bee commanded by any ; nay , if you have but the vertue and volubility of the tongue with the helpe of lowring , pouting , frowning , disdainefull scorning , taunting , slandering , scoffing ; or if all these faile , you may use many words to no sence or purpose in the way of defaming your husband ; and if it be his fortune to be a Cuckold , doe you cry whoore first , and taxe him with incontinency : call him Whooremaster , ( though your Conscience tell you that you lye ) ifever you did him any good deed , either by your selfe , or your friends , let him be continually cast in the teeth , and upbraided with it ; and for your last remedy , you must stampe , teare your haire , curse , ban , play the divell , and crye with counterfeiting teares , and then presently the relenting tame foole ( the Husband ) will wooe , and sue , and begge , beseech , cogge , give gifts , and make large promises , and all for a little quiet life ; for it lyes in you to vexe him to the very heart , and not to suffer him to take any rest day or night , but with the Clapper of your tongue to ring him a perpetuall peale , ( worse than sixteene funerall knelles ) you may hunt and course him from bed to bed , and from one chamber to another , and as wild Haggard Hawks are tam'd of man'd with being kept hungry , and continuall waking , so you must noise him , rowze him , torment and torture him with your tongue , that he shall have no minde either to eate or sleepe ; and though you have a private friend in a corner , yet by these harsh and discreete Documents and doings a woried or tyred husband may bee made an engine or warlike Ramme , to batter and beare downe all Bulwarks or Sconces of scandalous defamation : For take this of mee as an infallible truth , though the charge of new fashions may vexe a Husband , the cost of dyet may trouble him , to weare a Cuckooes feather may molest him , to walke or goe early or late may , disturbe him , to spend or waste his goods vainely may grieve him ; yet all these he will bee content to suffer with thankes and patience , if his Wife will bee but pleased to bee quiet with her tongue : For I tell you daughter , if you can make such use of your tongue , as the most part of wise women doe now a dayes , you may awe the good man with his goods and family like an Empresse , and if you have never so many faults , they will never be seene or thought of , if your tongue bee sharpe , quicke , nimble , and can hold out untired . For the which purpose you may whet your wits with a Cup or two extraordinary of nappy Ale , strong waters , Sacke , or some other kinde of Huffe-cap drinke , that may quicken your spirits , elevate your braine ; for I was wont to doe so often , and then I would talke to thy father beyond reason and measure and therefore it is not amisse to liquor your tongue , it will goe with the more ease , ( like a new oyl'd Jacke ) for it will runne so nimble , that you shall hardly know what it sayes , or to what end it runnes so fast . Moreover , it will bee a great poynt of policy in you , to shew your selfe very precise and religious abroad , as if you were a Saint , for by that means you may blind the world , and play the Divell at home the more securely , and then the rest of your Gossips will pitty you , and revile your husband . Indeede your tongue may ( as you may use it ) make your house your earthly Paradise , your Husbands Purgatory , and your servants Hell ; and all these severall sorts of happines are yours , if you marrie with a foole , and have the gift to use your tongue as a wise woman should doe . Ah Daughter , didst thou know the toyle and torment that I had with thy father so long as he was a wise man , thou wouldst pitty mee ; I endured eight yeares most miserable slavery with him : my habite no other but old and unfashionable , my dyet no other than such as hee did eate of , and I bound to no bodies bed but his : but at the last it was my happe to bee at a Gossips Feast , where other good women beganne to talke of many matters , ( which concerned them not much ) for it is no right Gossipping where they flatter not one another to their faces , and back-bite their husbands and neighbours behind their backes : Amongst them was an ancient Matron , that with an eye of pittie looked on mee , saying , Mistris Smalworth , mee thinkes by your Countenance and attire , you are grieved in mind , what is the matter ? I pray you impart your cause of sorrow to mee , and I will give you such motherly Counsell , as my weake ability can afford ; what , is your husband unkinde to you ? or what other disaster is the cause of your heavinesse ? Whereupon I ( fetching a deepe sigh ) beganne to tell her , that I had been more than seven yeares married to a wise discreet man , but all the fault hee had was to bee a good husband , and looke to every thing so narrowly , that I could not have my will in all that I desired , that I was restrained of that freedome and liberty which I had a minde to have , and debard of that predominance and command , which women are ambitious to aspire to , though they know themselves altogether unworthy , and uncapable of it ; for indeede Gossip ( quoth I ) I doe want nothing that may suffice any reasonable body ; nor doe I in word or deede offend him ; onely the maine rule and command of all I would have : for I would faine controule , and not be controuled . With that I beganne to weepe , and the good women all pittyed my case : so that at the last the old Matron said that she was in the same predicament as I was when she was first marryed , untill at the last shee met with an ancient experienc'd creature , who gave her counsell to make her Husband a foole , if ever she hoped to live a merry life : and further , that she presently gave her the same Counsell which she offered unto mee , which I so well practised on my Husband , ( thy Father ) that with my vexatious verbosity , fluent loquacity , I brought my good man to my bow , that I could bend him which waies I listed , I hammerd him , and made him Maleable , I turnd him , wrought him , and Wire-draw'd him : and thus after I had liv'd long in a hard and miserable estate with a wise man , I , with a little good Counsell , and an apt capacity to follow it , in a yeare and a halfes space , with the ingredients , of pride , scorne , and scolding made him a foole , so that now ( in good time bee it spoken ) I thanke my Starres , there is not a Lady within the Walls of Europe lives a more pleasant life than I do . And therefore ( daughter ) I charge you on my blessing never intangle your selfe to bee marryed to a wise man ; but for your owne quiet and delight , be sure , if you can , to marry one that is a foole already ; for there are many stubborne fellowes as thy Father was , that are very hard to be made so ; and so if you embrace my counsell herein , you shall ( doubtlesse ) have greater pleasure , and live at more ease and liberty . 11. A Lecture Dialogue-wise betweene a man and his wife , which is the scold rampant : and thus they salute each other . Hus. SWeete-heart , me thinkes I finde a great alteration in you , that you are not the woman that you have been towards me , can you shew any reason for it ? Wife . I pray doe not call me sweet-heart , till such time as you use me as a wife ; for I am perswaded that your lips hang in your light , that you doe hardly know me from another mans wife : but woe bee to thee for an ill-bred fellow , that ever I saw thy face , but you must bee wandring ; Change of pasture makes fat Calves , but it is certaine that change of wenches make leane knaves ; and all Cats be grey in the darke , and Joane is as good as myLady . Hus. I pray thee good Duck , doe not play the divell with me , for I protest this jealousie of thine is without cause , and sure some malicious tatling Gossip or other hath been prating to thee , and put these foolish lyes and toyes into thy head . Here the Lecture beginnes . Wife . DVcke ? thou art a dissembling Viper to call me Ducke : Call me Whoore and Queane , as you doe at home , and give that name of Ducke to your Gilflirts , that you consume your estate on , and sent you home the other day drunke in a Porters Basket , and another time reeling up and downe the streete , and making Indentures , as if you had served seven yeares an Apprentice to a Scrivener : but such as you , that are given to be drunk and to play the whoremasters , hold an opinion , that store is no sore : but thou wicked Caitiffe , thou wilt know one day , that store of Poxe and other diseases will be sore : but I was bewitcht , I might have look'd before I had leap't : there is no Mungrill Curre will keepe a woman so unfashionable as thou dost mee , but as the Proverbe saies true , In love is no lacke , so I should not lacke what I would have , if thou didst love me . Besides , I would have thee know that I will not live by love ; doe but take example of my neighbour Master Gregory Animall how hee maintaines his wife , ( who , as the talke goes , is no better than she should be ) a suspicious loose Gossip ; and Master Innocent Gandergoose likewise is a patterne for all kind husbands to imitate ; for though his wife be a very divell to him , and a perpetuall vexation , yet ( good man ) hee takes all patiently , like a Coxecomb , swallowes all like a Gudgeon , and like a Woodcocke loves her the better . But I poore unfortunare wretch am out of sight , out of minde . What hard hap had I to be match'd to a Dogbolt , Caterpiller , Curmudgeon , that cares not for me ; but if I were wise , I would make thee drinke such as thou brewest , as the good man of such a parish , honest Mistresse Hold-up doth , shee makes her husband a very Asse , an Abram , and a Ninni-hammer ; she will raile and scold at him , that all the house shall ring againe : and though shee be counted a Whoore or a light woman , yet by making a noyse and clamour , the silly Owlyglasse ( her husdand ) doth not onely suffer himselfe to bee a Cuckold , but is contented to be a foolish Wittall , so that now hee cares not who lights his Candle at his Lanthorne . Also there 's Mistresse Minks , that 's an inch broad in the heele , a proud Trull , abhominable high in the instep , she hath the world at will : for her loving Iohn a Nods lets her say and doe what she list , she will call him all the base names that can be reckon'd , as Clown , Buboone , Nonsence , Widgeon , 〈◊〉 , Slabberchaps ; and then ( to stoppe his mouth ) he gives her any New-fangle , or fashion in the world , that his purse can reach to : But I am married to a grumbling Maultead , a Boore , a Dunghill , a Cullion , a common Towne-Bull : ( o●● upon thee Varlet ) I defie thee , I spit at thee , and I may curse the time that ever I saw thee : thou keep'st mee like a drudge , there 's not a Bawd , Quean Punke , Tib , Trash , Trull , or Trully-bub , Oyster-wife , or Kitchen-stuffe Slut , but lives a merrier life than I doe : I am scorn'd and slighted by every Durty Drabbe , I protest , rather than I will live this life with a mizerly Hoyden , I will take a Knife and drowne my selfe , or a Halter and out my throat : I would thou hadst such a wife as Mistris All-the-world , and then thou mightst make Hay with thy head , as well as with a Pitchforke : And there 's Mistris Brawler , an understanding Woman , she makes a meere Noddy of her husband , shee rules him as if he were a young Puppy : and dost thou thinke that I ( to the ill example of all women ) will bee an underling to such a Blockeheaded foole as thou art ? nay , I will make thee know that I am no Goose to be Crow-trodden by such a Buzzardly Gull as thou art : Sirrah , if you be the head I le bee the Cap : if you will bee the Cap I will bee the Button ; I will bee master and rule you , seeing you cannot rule your selfe , nor know what is fitting for a woman without so much asking for it : Tut , I was not hatcht under a Henne , nor will I bee Mealy-mouth'd , though thou bee flap-mouth'd , thou Dunce , thou Dolt , thou Sotte , I will have my will , or I will vexe every veine of thy heart , thou Logger-headed ●●●by : As I am a sinner I am asham'd to walke abroad with such a Lubberly Lout : Thou dost know , thou mi●erly base Patch , that almost every Cobler maintaines his wife in her Blacke Bagge , and I did but aske thee to give mee one , ( as fits my calling ) and thou , like a greedy Growtheaded Looby , denyedst me , but hereafter take it as thou wilt , and mend thy selfe as thou canst , I will be my owne Carver , and not stand to the allowance of such a Beetleheaded Cuckoe : And now thou knowest my resolution , I wish thee no more to trouble thy foolish Jolthead with studying to curbe or bridle me , for I scorne to be commanded by any dogged-divelish Crabbed Knave , or confin'd in any compasse of Reason by such a Hungarian Twyerpipe ; and if any way these Words of mine have troubled your minde , or doe sticke in your stinking stomacke , you may goe and make your moane to any of your Companions and Consorts , Drunkards , Bawds , Whoores , Fanders , Pimps , Rogues , Rascalls , Vagabonds , Runagates , Slaves , Villaines , and Varlets , your old Comrades , and Company-keepers , and so woe be to thee , and let sorrow be thy sops . The Husbands speech to one of his Nighbours , out of his wives hearing . MY Wife sure , good neighbour , was born at Billingsgate , and was certainly nursed up there , shee hath such a vilde tongue : and therefore I have made these Lines to that effect . It is a schoole , where shamefac'd women may Heare impudence anatomi●'d so right , That she , who scarce i' th morn knowes what to say , May learne the Art of scolding all by night : They jeere , they fight , they swear , & curse like Roisters I 'de ne're abide the place , were 't not for Oysters . Within a yeare or two after his wife dyed , and hee gets a Poet to make this Epitaph of her . MY Dame and I full twenty yeare 's Livd man & wife together , I could no longer keepe her here , She 's gone the Lord knowes whither : Of tongue she was exceeding free , I purpose not to flatter , Of all the wives that e're I see , I vow I 'le ne're come at her . Her body is disposed well , A comely Grave doth hide her And sure her soule is not in Hell , The Divel could ne're abide her ; Which makes me think she 's soar'd aloft , For in the last great Thunder , Me thought I heard her very voice , Rending the Clouds insunder . This Lecture may seem strange to as many as are Batchellours , for with them the marryed life is admitted , and wisht for ; but I would have them to consider , that after Marriage Huney-moone is but short , and before the Black Oxe hath trod on their foote , they will wish they had tasted the Grape , before they commended the Vine : Beware left instead of Sugar you do buy Ratsbane . There 's many a man hath angled for Fish , and catch'd a Frog : Hee may bee thought to bee very unwise that will change his free liberty for fetters of gold , or Manacles of Silver ; griefe and torment of minde is better lost than found ; there belongs to marriage more than foure beare legs in a bed : So likewise It is hard to wive and thrive both in a yeare ; for though good matches are made in Heaven , yet some men perhaps have few or no friends there at the match-making : There are too many who are more forward in seeking their Banes , than the Minister is to aske their Banes in the Church ; for though in some cases it is good to take Time & Occasion by the fore-top , yet too often Haste and Wisedome doe vary . Indeed , All is gay that is greene , and a new Broome sweeps cleane : Therefore it is a wiser part of a provident man to be more carefull in the Choise of his wife , than of any earthly thing whatsoever ; for though it bee fit that every man should be at his owne Wedding , yet many times the marriage were the better if the Woman were away . It is a hard case , that when there are but two , yet there is one too many . And I heard a fellow say , that his wife had but one fault , which was , that she was naught . A man may fast binde , and fast finde , but he cannot unbind that which he hath bound so fast : hee may strike whilst the Iron is hot , and hee may wish that the Forge had been burnt to ashes , and the Anvile sunke in the sea , before he strook a stroke , he may shoote nigh the marke , and aime well , and hit the marke , which had beene better for him to have beene a thousand miles out of his reach : The best Wine will in time bee the sharpest Vineger ; & the sweetest Sugar may bee turn'd into Salt Peter . Suppose a yong man , that is but of mean estate , doe marry with an old rich Widow , he shall be sure to live in a continuall Purgatory with her ; for either shee will be jealous of him , or covetous , casting him alwayes in the teeth , how shee with her estate hath made him a man , or raised Jack for to be a gentleman , that shee hath set a begger on Horse-backe , and ( if hee were her servant before , as many widowes doe often marry with their men ) then will shee daily upbraide him , that she hath made her foote her head . If an old rich man doe Match with a poore yong woman or maide , that hath kinred as poore as her selfe , there the Divell sets in his foote of jealousie and suspition that his Wife doth waste his goods to helpe her Kinred , and if he hath any children , they will love their mother in law , and she will love them againe , ( al alike ) so that the house will be more unquiet than hell . He that doth marry with a whore ( although his lot be bad ) yet age and time may make her turne honest . He that weddes a drunken women ( as there are too many of them that are most liquorishly addicted to Wine , strong waters , Ale , and the like ) there may bee some hope of her mending , or ending . He that is matched to one that will steale and pilfer , there may bee hope that shee may bee taken , and by admonishment or punishment reformed ; or else that in the end the Hangman may take such order with her , that her husband may bee eased of his trouble . It is better for a man to have a faire Wife , that himselfe and every man else will love , ( provided that shee bee not a scold withall ) or a deformed wife , that would hire others to make much of her ( for foule water will quench fire as well as faire ) or a drunken Wife , that would make much of her selfe , or an old wife , that were bed-rid of her tongue , or a theevish wife , that should steale from himselfe and others , or a proud one , that would waste all his state in fashions , or a liquorish wife , a daily feasthunter , or a lazy wife , like Joane Easie , that lov'd her Bed better than her Distaffe ; or a sluttish wife , that would poyson him , and end all his miseries : I say , it were better for a man to marry with any of all these fore-named wicked kinde of women , than to bee matched and over-matched with a scold , for a scold will be all these , and worse : shee will bee melancholy malicious , and her most study shall bee , to be ill-conditioned : shee will mumpe , hang the Lippe , swell , ( like a Toad that hath laine a yeare under a wood-pile ) pout , loure , be sullen , sad , and doged : she will knit the browes , frowne , be wayward , froward , crosse , and untoward on purpose to torment her husband : her delight is chiefely to make debate abroad , and to be unquiet at home ; in her house she will be waspish , peevish , teasty , tetchy and snappish . It is meat and drinke to her to exercise her spleene and envy , and with her twittle twattle to sow strife , debate , contention , division , and discording heart-burning amongst her neighbours . I have heard a husband aske a wife such a milde question , and she hath snapt him up so disdainfully with an answer , that no Mistris would have us'd her prentise boy so scomfully : The pride of such a Jade is not to be endured , her coynesse is to bee jeered at , and her contempt to be derided , and such of them , are most to bee despised , that doe make a seeming shew of Religion , and a good life abroad , and when they are at home at dinner or supper ; whilst the Husband is saying Grace , sitting on one stoole , his vertuous vexatious wife hath sate upon another stoole by him , cursing and swearing . Therefore I advise all men , young and old , rich and poore , to marry any woman , of any bad condition , rather than a scold . There was an old fellow once , that was not onely marryed , but almost overmatched with a shrew , or a most excellent Hypocriticall scold , for abroad shee seemed a civill devout creature , as if Butter would not melt in her mouth , but at home she would play the Divell , so that the man was amazed at her strange and uncivill behaviour , ( and indeede a very little wine or strong waters would make her tongue gallop , and her hands walke ) her Husband not giving her any cause , did marvaile at her unquietnesse , and gently perswaded her often , but all to no purpose , for the more he intreated , the more proud and furious she would be , calling him al the names that are mentioned before in the Lecture , all which he did most patiently endure : but at last she so much trod upon his forbearance , shee presumed that it was his duty to suffer . At last ( he being loath to beat her ) he conceived to tame her another way , so perceiving that her delight was to have her house kept cleane and neate , with her Brasse and Pewter alwayes shining , and brightly scour'd and set up ; one time as shee was in her mad fit , hee tumbled all the platters & kettles about the house , which with the falls from the shelves , were somewhat bruised and battered , but that tricke would not doe ; so the next time she abus'd him , hee began another course , and made her believe that he would cut and teare her best wearing cloaths , both linnen , and woollen , but did smal hurt , he having wit in his anger , yet stil all was to no end ; insomuch that shee grew more insolent and used him worse , reviling him beyond all reason and never snffering him to have one quiet day or houre : and at last shee grew to that height , that she would strike him over the face , either at bed or boord , or any where in the house , as the mad fit came on her ; so that his patience being tyred , hee would forsake his house , and lodge abroad at some friends house , sometimes a weeke , and sometimes more ; but at his returning home , he found her too often the same mad woman shee was wont to be , and he knowing no fault in himselfe , and that neither faire meanes nor foule will reclaime her , ( as I did heare him say ) he doth purpose to leave her to her divellish disposition : because hee is utterly desperate that she is quite past mending . And now againe I will treate a little of some few good women . 12. A Lecture of a woman to her husband in the morning as s●●ne as hee awakes , for a ramble ●'re night : and thus she beginnes . VVHat , are you awake good man Foxe-catcher ? are you in any better humour than you were last night tro ? then you had your base Songs and Catches you devis'd when you were among your Drunken companions : and no sooner come home , than to mee you had all the ill names that you could invent to bestow upon mee : Well Kit well , I see thou wilt never leave these idle courses , till thou bringest all to ruine : thou dost well , dost not , thinkst thou ? to goe out so soone as you have din'd so well , and hadst such good company at home , and never thinke of comming home againe , till eleven of the clocke at night , and in this pickle , more like a beast than a man ? Thou shouldst be ashamed , if thou hadst any shame in thee , that thy Neighbours should take notice of thy folly : You would come home in two or three houres at the most , you told me when you went out : I am sure all the businesse that thou hadst to doe , might have beene done and finished in an houre at the most : What , hast thou no measure , no reason , no government in thee , when thou art in company , and a drinking Wine , to give over untill thou art overcome with Drinke ? no care at all left to forbeare spending thy money , but thus idly to waste thy goods ? Me thinkes if thou hadst no love , respect , or regard of mee , yet for thy Childrens sake thou shouldst have some . I marvaile whither you went , or in what new hole you had entertainement , that you could not bee found out : That little meate I had in the house I dressed it , and got it ready for your Supper , expecting your comming home , and here it stood slopping before the fire , till it was hard and dried to nothing ; and so it remained till the Clock strook seven , eight , nine , before I touched a bit of it : Nor could I eate any part of it then for thinking on you : and let me tell you , I cannot eate my meat so alone , and without company ; I was never used to it . Then I went with my Child in my armes all about , and did looke in every Ale-house and Taverne , where I could imagine you might bee : but no finding of my Gentleman : You were sure lost in a Fog , or else you met with some new companions that gave you better entertainment than either I , or any of your old consorts can do : Well , where did your Worship Sup I marvaile ? would I were so happy as to know your new Ordinary ; yfaith it should cost mee a few cold words , but I would bee meete with some of your new Hosts and Hostesses ; but it is no great matter , keepe it so close as thou canst , I le warrant thee before it bee long I shall have notice of all : if thou hadst beene in any honest company , or any that wished you well , or me well , or your Children , thou wouldst not be loath to tell mee : Well , well , I shall thinke on it , when you least thinke I will. 13. A Lecture of a kinde and loving Wife to her Husband , and thus she begins . SWeet Husband , I am sorry to see you are so vainly given to drinking , and to company : I pray consider with your selfe what injury you doe mee , and your owne credit by it , and that divers waies . First , you lose your time that is so precious , which you and every man ought to regard , and make use of while they have health and ability so to doe ; I am sure you have seene how Time is pictured with a Locke of Haire before , and Bald behind ; the meaning is , we must take hold on times fore-locke while we have it , for when he is past , there is nothing to hold by , all bald behind ; for when 't is gone and past , it is not to be recalled againe : It is good to make Hey while the Sunne shines , t is an old Proverbe yet worthy your observation . Then secondly , you spend your money , which is the marrow of the Land , and makes you to be so respected and beloved of all ; for without money you cannot have anything , with your money you may command all things . It is your money which makes you so welcome when you goe into the Taverne , it is for your money that they bee glad to see yon , and bid you farewell . If you were in necessity , and wanted money , trust me sweete Husband , there is none of all those places , where you have spent it so idly , that will scarce give you tenne Shillings , nay , scarcely lend it you without a sufficient pawne : and if you should make your complaint to them , what will they say doe you thinke ? Alas good Sir , or goodman such a one , I am sorry that you are come to this passe , and driven to this urgent necessity in your old age ; you were alwayes free , and very kind-hearted , I pitty your case , alacke aday , I have not so much money to spare at this time , for I have newly paid the Brewer , or the Baker , or the Merchant , and I was forced to make bold with one of my Neighbours to borrow of them to make up the summe ; This is the comfort and entertainment you shall finde when you have neede of their helpe . I pray remember my words good sweete-heart , for while your money lasts , you shall not want company , or good liquor , but once gone , then good night Land-Lord ; for a man without money is like a Pudding without sewet , dry meat ; and as old Hobson said , it is money which makes my Mares to goe , so it is with them ; for without money there is no abiding there : trust you they will not , though ( perhaps ) they may make you drink , and so bid you farewell ; and thus you have Iacke Drummes entertainment for all your money . Then thirdly , consider againe my loving Husband , how you abuse the good Creature of Wine , Beere , or Ale by your extraordinary drinking , and how sicke and ill you are the next day , and how uncapable you are of your affaires and businesse , and can take no true delight in any thing you eate or drinke , whether you walke , or sit still , for two or three dayes after ; it is such a bewitching thing , that you cannot leave it when you would : you must thinke you have not a body of Brasse to hold out still ; no , you will in time finde the inconvenience of this drinking over-much : it shortens your dayes , and makes you looke ill , as if you had bin buried in a Grave , and taken up againe ; doe but consider what detriment to your health , the aboundance and superfluity of Wine , or any other liquid stuffe doth ; for you must conceive , your stomacke is the receptacle for all sorts of meate and drinke , and the best of the wine doth disperse it selfe through little veines , into all the parts of the body for its nonrishment ; then the remainder of those dregs and grounds , which are left behind in the stomacke causes Vapours to fly up into your braine , makes your head ake , and there injures the Pia mater and Dura mater , and so stupifies your Penicranium , that all your vitall parts and ventricles are almost suffocated , and your life in hazard also : then some dangerous diseases or other followes ; as Fevers , Agues , Inflamations , Consumptions , and such Distillations from the Braine , that it will for ever after impare your health ; then in this extremity you must be constrained to take Physicke , to quallifie and refrigerate the extraordinary heate in you ; and moreover , if your Physicke bee not good , and well clarified , the dregs which remaine in your body , will too much coole the Naturall heate , and destroy the Radicall moysture ; and when those decay , then life farewell : Then if neede require you must breath a veine , and be let blood , and it may be , happen uppon an unskilfull Surgion that cannot doe it handsomely , but mistake the veine ; and perhaps when his hand shakes , pricke an Artery ; and so lose the use of your arme ; or else perchance make such an Orifice , that hee cannot stench the blood , or else so butcher your arm by often striking , that you faint and sound in the act , and so lose your life : and all this insues by your ingurgitating and excessive drinking of Wine , or such like liquor : for Wine and Tobacco being both hot , doth so heate and burne you within , that it weakens and impaires your strength very much ; and especially , Tobacco weakens you ; for you may reade these ensuing lines which I dare say an honest man writ them , and they be true , and he was a Womans friend I will assure you . TObacco that Outlandish Weed , Weakens the body , & spoiles the Seed ; It hurts the Braine , and dims the sight , Truely Husband , if you understand your selfe aright , you must needes confesse this to bee true ; for you must know , Nature cannot doe no more then it can ; it helpes to evacuate the superfluity , and purges the Braine when it is over-charged and oppressed ; as much as in her lyes : but if you lay too much upon her , the ruine will be your owne in the end , and with losse of life . Fourthly and lastly , indeed I speake to you and tell you this for your good ; you know I have never falne out with you , nor given you any ill language , though you came home late , and have bin disguised in drinke ; but intreated you to have a care of your selfe , and to come home sooner . To conclude , because I would not bee too tedious in relation , I hope these words of mine you will give care unto , and will better your understanding to remember them : you shall ever find me a loving & a kind wife to you in all things ; you men are the Head , & must governe us women ; we must be guided by you in all things : you are the Sunne to mee , and I am your Mary-gold , to shut & open when you please : your sweet company , good Husband , joyes mee more than all the World besides ; if you would but keepe home , I should think nothing too much that I did for you , and by your faire words I would even let out my heart-blood to doe you good . Therefore deare Husband , if you will take a Womans counsell , bee wise , and keepe your mony for better uses , than to spend where you shall have no thankes in the end : for the oftner you use to visit these Ale-houses or Tavernes , the more they will slight you , and dis-respect you ; any new company shall be spoken to before you , nay , they will make bold with you , and you shall stay their leasure , when others shall be served with the best Wine they can draw , and you with the worst . The Husbands reply . In troth sweet Wife , I finde it very true , and for thy sake , I will drinke strong Beere no more , no more ; But ever hereafter I will drinke cold water , And keepe my money in store , in store . But as I have written of vertuous and modest women , so must I ever , and I wish all other men and women to hold and esteeme them in a good & reverend regard ; and I am sure their wisedome and discretion is such , that they will take no distaste at any thing that either touches or concernes them . For it is too well known ( by woefull experience ) daily , that some husband and servants are so wicked , and basely inclin'd , that they will give too much cause to make a wel-dispos'd and quiet woman speake , as I was minded shortly to set forth a Booke to that purpose , concerning the bad courses and misbehaviour of such as goe in the shapes of men , but indeede are Beasts , or rather worsethan beasts , Heathens , or Infidels , but I shall be prevented in writing of it ; for I doe here that there are divers women set their helping hands , to publish such a Booke themselves in their owne praise , with an answer to this Booke : called by the Name of Sir Seldome Sober , or The womans sharpe revenge against the Author . Yet the many incombrances of Marriage doth make some men and women often wish themselves single : for Argus his hundred eyes are not sufficient , Briareus one hundred hands will not serve , Croesus wealth will not supply , Hercules performance will not satisfie , Salomons wisdome cannot prevent , Sampsons strength cannot prevaile , nor all the wit , power , strength , or policy of man can restraine , or keepe his wife within the limits of reason , if Heavenly grace guide her not . Now for the Readers better satisfaction , hereafter followeth a relation of what degrees and callings , and of what Countries and Nations those womē were , whose names are Recorded in History for good or bad , as also of what qualities and conditions the most part of them were of ; with the manner of some of their lives and deaths . Hellen is said to bee Iupiters Daughter , and that shee was so faite , that for her beauty shee was ravished twice : The first time was by Thesius , the tenth King of Athens : after that she was married to Menelaus , King of Sparta , or Lacedemonia , from whom shee was stolne by Paris , the sonne of Priam , King of Troy ; for which second Rape of Hellen , the Princes of Greece combined together in Armes , and after tenne yeares siege of Troy they tooke it , sack'd , and fired it . Hellen ( another of that name ) was the happy mother of the Illustrious and famous Christian Emperout , Constantine the Great ; which Emperour restored , and gave full freedome to the Gospels preaching , after it had bin three hundred and odde yeares supprest and persecuted under the tenne bloody persecutions : Hee repaired old Bizantium , and named , it Constantinople ; His mother Hellen was likewise the Religious foundresse of a magnificent Chappel upon the Mount Tabor : ( where our Saviour was transfigured ) she was a most vertuous Empresse , and as some writers say , she and her Sonne Constantine were borne in London . Also there was another Hellen , the Mother of the unfortunate Constantine , the last Emperour of Constantinople , who was overthrowne by Mahomet the Great , Emperour of the Turkes , May 29 , 1453. On which day Constantine Paleologus lost the City , with his Empire and life : so that one Hellen and Constantine built it , and two others of the same name lost it , as aforesaid . Lais was a famous Grecian or Corinthian whore ; she was so haunted with the Princes and Nobility of those times , that shee was exceeding Rich , and shee was at so high a rate , that when Demosthenes ( the admired Orator ) demanded of her the price of a nights Lodging with her , she told him that shee would not take lesse than 10000. Drachmas , which in our mony is two hundred pound Sterling : but Demosthenes ( not liking such a Bargaine ) answer'd her , That he would not buy Repentance at so deare a rate . She was ston'd to death by whores for her too much over-valuing of her selfe . Thais was also another famous whore of Corinth , and that of such singular beauty , that shee would entertaine none but Kings and Princes . She mightily befool'd the wise Philosopher Aristippus , & held him ( in a neare degree ) under a slavish command . Livia was the light Empresse and Wife to Augustus Caesar ; it is related that she made him weare a Cuckoes Feather in his Cap. Semiramis was Empresse and wife to Ninus , the grand-child of Nimrod ; shee was left a Widdow , with one Sonne , whose name was Ninias , who was so effeminate a Prince that hee suffered his Mother Semiramis to reigne 42. yeares over him : She was valiant and victorious , but in the end shee was so overcome with a lustfull inordinate affection to her owne Son , that he slew her with his owne hands in Babylon . Pasiphae was the wife to Minos , King of Crete , ( now called Candi ) it is said she was in love with a Bull , by whom shee had a Monster called Minotaurus ; but it is more probable that a Courtier named Taurus , did use such familiarity with her , that she brought forth a Sonne more like the said Taurus , than to her Husband King Minos . Hermia was a Strumpet of that excellent feature , that Aristotle ( the famous Philosopher ) was so besotted on her , that hee adored her with divine honours , and offered sacrifice unto her . Messalina was Empresse and wife to Claudius Caesar ; she was a Monster , rather than a Woman , and of such incredible insariablenesse , that is unfit to be rehearsed . Olympias was wife to Philip King of Macedon , and Mother to Alexander the great , shee was a woman of a haughty minde , and bloody nature , and so revengefull , that she murdered Cleopatra , ( the former wife to her Husband ) and her two children ; the one she kill'd in the armes of the Mother , and the other she caused to be broyl'd alive in a Copper-bason : it was suspected also that she poysoned her Husband King Philip , At last she was slaine by the commandment of Cassander , one of the successors of Alexander . Mirha was the incestuous daughter of Cynare , or Ciniras , King of Cypris , upon whom her owne Father begot the faire and beautifull youth Adonis , the delightfull Darling of Venus . Medusa , a fiction , Fury , or Hellish Hagge . Progne was one of the Daughters of Pandion , King of Athens , and wife to Tereus King of Thrace : her Husband ravished and cut out the tongue of her Sister Philomela , in revenge whereof Progne murthered her owne Son It is , and caused him to be baked , boyl'd , and roasted for her Fathers ( her Husband Tereus supper , and because her revenge flew so swift , it is faigned that she was turn'd to a Swallow . For further satisfaction , looke Ovids Metamorphosis , Lib. 6. Media was daughter to Ceta King of Colchos , shee was a most beautifull Witch ( or Sorceresse ) she was so enamoured on the goodly personage of lason , that she shew'd him the way to shun the dangers in the winning the Golden Fleece , which after Iason had accōplished , she ran away with him into Thesally Circe is feigned to be the Daughter of Sol , and that by the Mothers side shee is Grand-child to Oceanus , the Sea-god ; she was also a cunning Witch , the wise Vlysses had something to doe with her , as you may reade in the 14. booke of Ovids Metamorphosis . Agripina was the Mother of the bloody Emperour Nero , shee poison'd her Husband Claudius , with his Son Brittanicus , and lastly shee was murthered by command of her Sonne Nero , who was formerly suspected to have incestuously strumpitted her . Flora was a beautifull Whore in Rome , who by her Trade had heaped up great treasures , which she gave all to the common people at her death , for the which they built a Temple to her , and worshipped her , calling her the Goddesse of Flowers . Clitemnestra was wife to Agamemnon , King of the Micenians ; he was the valiant Generall of the Greekes at the ten yeares siege and sacking of Troy , but returning home to his Wife , hee was most wickedly murthered by her procurement , and by the hands of one Aegisthus , who had long lived in Adultery with the said queane , Queene Clitemnestra . Pandora was a Woman so in favour with the gods , that Pallas gave her wisedome , Mercury gave her Eloquence , Apollo Musicke , Venus Beauty , also they gave her a Boxe , wherein were hidden , and secret things inclosed , ( as they said ) and withall commanded her straightly that she should not dare to open the said Boxe , which neverthelesse shee did open , and suddainly thence flew out of it all the griefes , paines , maladies , and diseases that doe afflict miserable mankind . This Fiction is an Allusion or Embleme , that women can hardly keepe Counsell , and that they have a desire to doe that which they are forbidden . Xantippe was a most famous , delicate , dainty , devillish Shrew , or Scold ; she was the wife to the wisest of the Philosophers , Socrates ; shee hated nothing more than peace & quietnesse : On a time she hunted her Husband to and fro scolding , from one roome to another , that hee to bee rid of her , went and sate in the street at his doore , which shee perceiving , went up into a Chamber above him , and threw the pisse-pot on his head , whereat when Socrates perceived people to laugh , hee patiently said , that he expected som raine would fall after so many claps of Thunder . Saphira was an hypocriticall woman , and the Wife to the dissembling Ananias . Rhodope was a beautifull Strumpet of the Country of Thrace : She was once fellow servant with Aesop , the Phrygian Fabulist : she was so notable in her Art , ( as Cornelius Agrippa saith in his vanity of Sciences ) that shee got so much wealth , that therewith shee paid for the building of a Piramis , or Piramides , which was a worke esteemed one of the Wonders of the World. Deianiera was Wife to Hercules , whose causelesse jealousie was the death of Hercules ; before which time hee so much doated on the beauty of Iole , the daughter of Errytus , King of the Aetolians , that for her sake hee laid by his Armes , and Monster-killing Clubbe , and like a servile Handmaid , in womans apparrell , practis'd to spinne with a Distaffe , to please his faire Mistris . Love overcomes all things . Briseis was a faire Lady given to Achylles , at the siege of Troy , shee was taken againe by Agamemnon , for the which there was great strife betweene those two great Princes , but at the last shee was restored againe to Achylles . Arlotta , or Harlot , was a Skinners daughter of Cane in Normandy , whom Robert , the sixth Duke of that Province , was so bold as to beget on her Willians the Conquerour , King of England : since which time , most of such used women as are called She-friends , are in memory of Arlot ( or Harlot ) called Harlots . Faire Rosamond Clifford was the unfortunate Paramour to Henry the second King of England : she was poysoned by the jealous Queene at the Mannour of Woodstocke , in Oxfordshiere . Jane Shore was the wife of Matthew Shore , a Gold-smith of London , shee was taken from the City to the Court by K. Edward the fourth , with whom shee lived merily , and dyed miserably in the reigne of K. Richard the 3. And thus a world of Histories are fraught With all degrees of women ( worse than naught . ) But for the good ones , to gaine their good will , To them I humbly now direct my quill . Lucretia , was the wife of Tarquinnius Collatinus , a Noble man of Rome , which Noble and chaste Dame ( the proud and lustfull King ) Sextus Tarquinius Ravish'd violently ; for the which indignity she slew her selfe . Portia was the Daughter of Cate , and wife to Junius Brutus , her father slew himselfe to save his honour , her husband kild himselfe to escape the hands of Octavius Caesar , and shee ( being taken prisoner ) being debar'd of weapons , Knives , Garters , and all other things whereby shee might misdoe her selfe , neverthelesse , though shee were carefully and diligently watch'd , shee suddenly went toward the fire , and catch'd up hot burning Coales , and swallowing them dyed to preserve her honour . Dido , some called her Elisa , was the famous foundresse of the mighty City of Carthage in Affrica ; she was the Daughter to Bellus ; shee was married to Sichaeus , who was Priest to Hercules , ( A man of such mighty wealth , that Pigmalian , Dido's brother slew him ) so by that meanes , Dido being a Widdow , one Hiarbus , King of Getulia ( or the Getes , which some hold to bee Norway , or Gothland ) made Suite to her for marriage , which she refusing , hee made Warre against her ; and she finding her selfe too weake to withstand his forces , and withall not being minded ever to Marry , ( the love of her first Husband had taken such deepe root in her heart ) shee kild her selfe . Virgil doth frame in his Aeneades , that she slew her selfe for the love of Aeneas ; which cannot possibly be so , for Aeneas came from Troy 350. yeares at the least , before Dido was borne , or Rome or Carthage built . Artemisia was a Queen , replenished by beauty and chastity ; she was the Wife to Mausolaus , or Mausolus ) King of Caria , she loved her Husband so entirely , that when hee was dead she caused him to be embalm'd , and his heart to be taken out and dryed to powder , which every day shee dranke a part of , till all of it was dranke : shee said , that whilst he lived they both had but one heart , and that she held no Sepulehre so worthy for the interring of his heart , as was the living Sepulchre of her body . Also shee caused a Monumentall Tombe to be built , wherein shee laid the Corpes of her beloved Lord and Husband : The Tombe was of that magnificent and stately structure , that it was accounted one of the Wonders of the World ; the stone of the said Tombe was of an excellent and rare kinde of Marble : it was in compasse 411. foot , in height 37. foote , and it was circled about with 36 Marble Pillars , most curiously carved with Corinthian worke . Pheadra was too loying to cast her selfe away for the love of Hippolitus . Phillis did as much for Demophoon , and Thisbe for the love of Piramus : kild her selfe with a sword . These three or foure last nam'd , were overaboundant too to loving Creatures . St. Vrsula was the daughter of a Brittish Prince , named Dionetta ; shee , with 〈◊〉 Virgins more who were under her command , were assailed by the Barbarous G●●●es and Vandals , and because they would not yeeld their bodies to prostitution , and their soules to Heathenish Idolatry , they were all put to deathby their inhumane enemies . There is a Monument in the City of Colleine of St. Vrsula , and the said eleven thousand Virgin Martyrs . Leodice , the Wife to Ariathres , King of Capadocia , did unnaturally murther five of her sixe sonnes , for the which the people violently fell upon her , and kild her , which being done they crowned the surviving sonne that was left . Dominico Silvio , Duke of Venice being deposed from his Dukedome , because his Army was discomfited by Robert , Duke of Puglya , and Calabria , his wife in her greatnesse was so daintily proud , that the Dew was often gather'd from Roses and flowers , to make Baths to bathe her in with costly perfumes and other devices ; yet before shee dyed her flesh did rot , & stinke in such a noysome manner , that none could abide to come neare her , & in that miserable fashion she dyed . When the Emperour of Germany ( Conradus the third ) had overcome the Faction of the Guelphes , and taken their chiefe City called Monake in the Canton of Berne in Switzerland , the Emperour commanded his souldiers to cut all the men in the City in pieces , but hee granted the women so much mercy and favour , as not only their lives and freedome , but also to carry away as much as they could on their backs , whereupon the Women-kind consisting of Maids , wives widdowes , or other Females , tooke every one of them a boy , a Lad , or a man , ( their fathers , Brethren , Vncles , friends , and the Towne souldiers ) upon their backes , and bare them out of the City , and so saved their lives from the Emperours fury : which hee , perceiving , was so moved with pitty , that in love to the womans worthy acts and true affection , he was pacified , and gave them all free pardon of their lives , with their Towne and goods . As there have beene good women , whose honours and vertues are as famous and memorable as men , so likewise there hath beene , and are too many whose lives are abhominable , live and dye detestable : for the height of the Firmament is found by the Staffe or Astrolobe , the depth of the Sea may be sounded with the Lead and Line , the farthest Coasts are discovered by the Chart and Compasse , Art and Wit finde out the secrets of nature , Mans Anatomy is knowne by often dissections and experience : But Instrument , Plummet , Line , Compasse , Wit , Art , or Experience , cannot finde out or shun the deceits of a wicked woman , for though all women be women-kind , all are not kind women ; and as they are weake , and subject to the temptations of men , so are they stronger temptations to men , than men can withstand : and it is to be noted , that the most or greater number of them doe love and take delight to bee su'de and sought to , although they are determined never to grant that which is su'de for . They commonly are very forgetfull of good turnes , and concerning injuries , they have memories that will out-last Brasse or Marble , they are so like the Courtiers in ●●land , that if they should promise me a dourtesie , I would not be so foolish as to expect to have it : It is naturall for them to despise what is freely given to them , though they need it ; and it is a cruell vexation to them to be deny'd any thing that they aske , though it be but needlesse and impertinent toyes and bables . Huldovina , wife to Paleologus , the second Emperour of Constantinople , which Emperour was afflicted with the Gout , and other diseases in such grievous manner , that for the space of nine Moneths every yeare , he could not stirre out of his Bed , or Chamber ; at which times there was no Physick that could helpe or ease him but his wives scolding : ( which medicine was taught him by a Witch ) I wish I had a wife endued with such vertue , I would let her out to hire at what rate or price I listed . Infinite were the number that might be named , that have beene famous for their vertues , or infamous for their vices , but they are recorded in other Histories , and therefore I hold it impertinens to proceed further this way . As women divers are , I change my Pen From good to bad , from bad to good agen : One with the other J have mixedhere , For Vertue , shines more bright when vice is neere . An old man asked a yong Maid this Question : If I should take thee to be my Wife , I pray thee tell me , wilt thou bee honest ? she answer'd him presently , what I might bee , if I were married to you , I know not , but I doe meane to be honest if you take me not . There is nothing more vexing to a Scold , than when she perceives the party she scolds at not to be vex'd ; for they cannot be angred worse than not to answer them : therefore a wise man will not set his wit to one of them , as either to regard , or give her an answer , for an Answer is encouragement , and indeede it is too much Honour for a man either to descend so low as to take notice of what they say , or to stoope lower to afford them any Reply , but to shame them with their mortall enemy , Silence . Cancer ( in Latine ) T is a Crab of the Sea ; there are also Crabs of the Wood , and he that marries a woman that was home when the Signe was in Cancer , is likely to be matched in one of a 〈◊〉 disposition : and of a crooked nature , and then the old 〈◊〉 will prove the best Cure , as thus : The Cr●b of the 〈◊〉 is a Sawce very good For the Crabbe that doth swim in the Sea. But the wood of the Crabbe is good for a Drab , That will not her Husband obey . A strange familiar daily and hourely Lecture , most rare and ordinary very easie and extreame hard to be understood , pronounced by an Ancient Grand Gossip over a Cup of Sack & strong Waters . MIstris Jane Twittle , M rs . Sicilly Twattle , M rs . Dorothy Small-worth , Mistris Few-words , and Mistris Many-better , went all a shroving one a good Friday to old Mistris Little-goods ; where after the expence of halfe an houres time in impertinent & unnecessary courtsies , how dee's and welcomes ( the young Woman having brought a fat Capon and Conies , with a Gallon of Canara ( in Bottles ) they all sate downe , where after a while that the Iack , the Spit , and the Cups had gone round , they began to talke of many things , whereof they had nothing to doe , but the old Mistris of the House prayed them to bee merry and wise , and that Pitchers had eares , and therefore ( to avoid danger , ) she entreated them to clamour their tongues , and to have a care to speake no more then they said , and with that ( good Creature ) shee called for her Hum Bottle , and kindly dranke to them , desiring that it might goe about , saying , it was the spirit of whorehownd , and a rare preservative to drive away Melancholly ; That Bout being past , they began to change their discourse , as the inspiration of good drinke , and the Vollubility of their tongues gave them utterance ; some talked of their Husbands , some prated of the fashions , some back-bite their Neighbours , some commended the Sacke , some extoll'd the Hum Battle , and all dranke round still : Well , well , ( said Mistris Twattle , ) All this Corne shakes no Wind , nor doth any of our Husbands know what great paines we poore women take : with that word Husband , old Mistris Little-good began to start , saying , In good time be it spoken , I have not beene troubled these 32. yeares with so grievous a burden as a Husband , I tell you ( loving Daughters ) I am threescore and fifteene Winters old , ( at the next Grasse or Hock-m●nday ) and before I was forty I had buried foure . I remember the first was a Taylor , ( as honest a man of a Protestant as need to beyand as true a man of his Trade , as ever broke Bread ; and indeed Bread was his Bane , for hee was choak'd with eating fourteene Penny-worth of hot Bunnes upon a Good-friday morning , his death was very grievous to mee , for he was a man of faire behaviour , and his credit was so good every where , that he might have beene trusted with untold Milstones ; he got more ( by halfe ) by his Shieres , than by his Needle ( for he was a large Cutter ) his Bodkin was one of his Military Weapons , but for his Yard it was some-what scant , and very short of London measure . I had not bin a Widow above five dayes , but a Shoo-maker would needs know the length of my foote , I remember hee came to me upon a Munday , perswading mee it was one of St. Hughs Holy-dayes , by whose Bones ( with the ayde of Saint Crispian ) hee swore hee would have me : & ( alasse ) I being a weake woman , seeing his boldnesse , I had no power to hold out , so the next day we got a Licence and were married , out to see what a sudden alteration was befalne me , thinke a Woman could never have chanced upon two husbands of such different qualities ; for as the Taylor was adicted to Bread , the Shoo-maker was altogether for Drink ; the one was a pint of small Beere , and 3. penny loaves , and the other was a dozen Pots and a Halfe-penny crust . Indeed I thinke he got our House-rent , and part of our bread by stretch ing and gnawing his Leather with his teeth , but for his drinke hee could hardly bring both ends together at the yeares end : Truely he was a very proper man ( but for his face ) and for the King of Good-fellowes , hee was worth his weight in burnt Silke ; but within 2. yeares Death came upon him , and ( with a Habeus Corpus ) brought him from his Aule to his Last ; but before he dyed he was as leane as any Rake , for hee was a small eater , and you know that all drinke , or swill and wash , and no Graines , will never fatten a Hogge . He being laid sa●e in his Grave , I was almost a forenight before I could perceive any wooer , or Love-struck Suiter to make towards me ; I mus'd and griev'd , at such a neglect at that time ( for I tell you daughters ) I then thought my selfe as fine as the proudest , and I am sure I was as proud as the finest , and esteemed my penny to be as good Silver as the best of them : at the fortnights end of my second Widow-hood , to drive away griefe , I would sometimes see a Play , and heare a Beare-baiting ; whereas a handsome formall Bearded man made roome ; to sit downe by him , and he tooke such good notice of my Civillity , in laughing at the sport , that indeed Love strucke him to the heart with the glaunces of mine eyes , in such sort as within short space we met at a Taverne , where with a Contract we made our selves as sure as Sacke and Sugar could tye us ; in a Word , the Marriage was ended , and Giblets were joyn'd , ( as we thought to both our contents , ) but all is not Gold that glisters , and oftentimes a faire morning doth usher a foule day ; as it happened with us ) for my Husband being a Merchant , and Free of the Worshipfull Company of Haber dashers of Small Wit , within halfe a yeare after we were Married , he appear'd like a Venice Glasse that had falne from a Taverne Table in a drunken Fray ; for it is to bee noted , that a Merchant & a Glasse are much like in quality , and altogether contrary to an Egge , or a Iest , for the Glasle or the Merchant are stark naught when they are broken , and the Egge or Iest , are never good so long as they are whole . My Husband being thus unhappily crack'd , tooke up a strong Lodging for his safe keeping , and became a Courtier to King Lud , but after sixe Moneths Imprisonment , hee made a shift to winde himselfe out by compounding with his Creditors for seven groats in the pound ; and being at liberty , and most plentifully stored , with neither credit , Coyne , means or friends , he fortuned to be in a place whereas a Statute Book lay ; negligently behind a Curtaine in a window , which he ( without any leave or knowledge to the Right owner ) borrowed and closely carried away under his Cloake , upon which book he would bee continually poaring and reading , so that by his industrious study he found how wickedly the penall Statutes were broken every day a thousand times , whereuppon he resolved ( seeing all Trades fail'd ) to turne Informer , or ( as ignorant fooles tearme it , who know not what they say ) Promouter ; in a word , my Husband was so witty by his practise in that good Booke , he made a shift to get a bad living ; hee was a terrible Termagant against Tavernes , Ale-houses , Cookes , and victulers , for dressing Flesh in Lent , or fasting dayes , and they ( being in his danger ) would compound with him ; and give him mony under-hand , by which meanes they had that convenience , to dresse what and when they would ; and frothy curtall Kans , bumbasted fomy Iuggs , squirting blacke Pots , or any villanous unlawfull measures , were winked at with my good mans Cum Privilegio , but at last hee was found out , and the reverend Grave Iudges for his compounding and winking , did so cleare his eye-sight , that they made him looke and see perfectly through an Inch Boord , for he was mounted on a Market-day on the Pillory , and part of his faults written in his Fore-head ; and after he was degraded and made uncapable , to be worthy to undoe anybody by Information ; for his word was never more to passe for currant . His paines being past , I know not by what chance but he got a pocky blow with a French Cowlestaffe , and gave up the Ghost in an Hospitall . He being Dead was much bemoan'd ( for indeed he did as much good here whilst he liv'd , and was as necessary a member as the fifth Wheele in a Coach. ) It was my Fortune within one moneth to marry with one Achitophel Little-good , in which match wee were both cozened ; for he tooke mee for a rich Widow , and I was in great hope that his Bags were linde with Gold and Silver Rubbish ; but it fell out otherwayes , for hee was as poore as any boasting Knave neede to bee ; for hee owed for the very Cloaths that hee wore ; and so we two ( being both in one case ) had most plentifull store of hunger and ease ; and yet though hee had neither meanes or Trade , hee was so diligent to looke out , that he would make hard shift to be drunke almost every night , and then when he came home , hee would most familiarly , and lovingly kicke mee , calling me Whore , and many other pretty Sirnames ; and sometimes he would play with my haire , winding it about his fist , and kindly draw mee by it all about the house , and withall sometimes he would embrace mee in great affection ( out of his owne good Nature ) with a Wand , a Cudgell , or a Ropes end . I being as then not very old , began to take these kindnesses to heart ; and ( to requite him ) I would walke as well as hee , & stay abroad as late , insomuch ( that for my better maintenance ) I Traded so well , and had such good commings in , that I made him weare an invisible Cuckooes Feather in his Cap , and if occasion had beene he could have made Hay with his head , as well as with a Pitchforke ; and I would raise my voyce to him in the chiding vaine , that all the house & street would have rung of it , ( for I had a very shrill high voice ) & I would talke on purpose to no purpose but to vexe him ; for women are not bound to speake sence to sencelesse fooles , nor Reason to unreasonable drunken Beasts ; our best knowledge ( for the most part ) is not to be understood in any thing that we meane , say or doe ; and yet I understand thus much , that a Crowing Hen is better than a Craven Cocke ; and truly if I could have found out but where any good behaviour was to bee had in England , I would have had my Husband bound to it as strongly as the Divell mended his Breeches , when he sowed them with a Bell-rope : hee had a Wife and two Children before he married me , but ( as I heard say ) hee was a better Husband then to them than to me , for as his house was on fire once , he was so carefull that all should not be burnt , that hee cast his Wife and Children into a Well , saying he would save somewhat . Indeed hee was a Melancholy , merry , sad , malepart condition'd fellow , and I lov'd him so dearely , that it strucke him inwardly with such joy , that after eighteene moneths being married , he dyed of the Pippe ; and I hearing that a Projector was about to get a Monoppoly to have all the Goods and possessions of all such Widowes who dyed with griefe for their Husbands decease ; I thought it the safest way to deceive the Projector , not so much as to grieve or shed a teare : And for his sake I vowed never to bee married againe . And so good neighbours and Gossips , I drinke to you all , and you are welcome all . The Author's advice how to tame a shrew . IF you perceive her to increase her language , bee sure you give her not a word , good nor bad , but rather seeme to slight her , by doing some action or other , as singing , dancing , whistling , or clapping thy hands on thy sides ; for this will make her vexe extreamely , because you give her not word for word : And be sure you doe not offer to goe away , but walke still before her , or in her hearing ; for if you doe thinke to avoyd her clamour by going abroad , you are deceived ; for then you doe but give her breath , and so she will have a Bill os Revivall against you when you come in againe , and so by that meanes will have another fling at your Jacket : and if you must needes goe forth about your occasions , beware that shee doe not meete with you as Xantippe the wife of Socrates , did meet with him : for after hee had endured her railing & bitter words for two or three houres together , and slighted her by his merry conceits , she studying how to bee revenged of him , as he went out of his house she poured a Chamber-pot onhis head , which wet him exceedingly ; whereupon he presently said , I did think that after so great a clap of Thunder , we should have some shower of raine , and so past it off merrily : but if all will not serve that you can doe , to stop her rage , but she will thus every day clamour , then I wish you to buy a Drum into your house , and locke it up in some private roome or Study , that shee may not come at it , and when she doth begin to talke aloft , doe then begin to beate a loud , which shee hearing , will presently be amazed , hearing a louder voyce than her owne , and make her forbeare scolding any more for that time . And at any time if she doe talke or scold , then sing this Catch , He that marries a Scold a Scold , He hath most cause to bee merry , For when she 's in her fits , He may cherish his wits With singing Hey downe dery , with a cup of Shery . Or thus : What hap had I to marry a Shrew , For shee hath given me many a blow , And how to please her , alas , I doe not know . Another . Dub a dub , kill her with a Club , Be thy wives Master : Each one can tame a shrew , but he that hath her . Another . Never let a man take heavily The clamour of his wife , But if he doe please to learne of me , To live a merry life , Let her have a swing All in a hempen string : Or when she begins to scold , Doe thou begin to sing , Fa , le , ra , la , la , fa , le , ra . If nothing else will do 't , 'T will keepe her tougue in awe , To sing , Fa , fa , la , la , le , ra . It is the onely way to tame a shrew , And save a man the charg of many a blow , Fa , la , la , la , fa , la , la , le , ra . But if shee persist , and will have her well , Oh , then bang her , bang her , bang her still . And thus having briefely shew'd you how to pacifie a scolding wife , I will onely fall into a merry straine or veine for a few Epigrams , and so conclude . Epigram 1. I blame not lusty Doll , that strives so much To keepe her light heart free from sorrowes touch : Griefe is a Corrasive , that would consume her , And therefore she affects a pleasant humour : Shee 's light of head , and heart , and light of heele , And every way as nimble as an Eele . Shee 'le daunce and sing , a hem boyes , hey all sixe , Shee 's steele to th'backe , all mirth , all Meretrix . Epigram 2. Kate very eagerly doth still persue , To have Diurnall and Nocturnall Duc. Epigram 3. Nells Husband sayes , shee brought him naught but toyes , But yet ( without his helpe ) she brings him Boyes . Epigram 4. There 's no man lookes on Lidia's face , would thinke So faire a feature should so fouly stinke : Wherefore , excepting kissing complement , In other cases shee can give content . Epigram . 5. Mall at first motion no mankind endures , But make her drunke , she 's everlasting yours . Epigram . 6. Megge lets her Husband boast of Rule and Riches , But she rules all the Roast , and weares the Breeches . Epigram . 7. Madge by no meanes immodest pranke 〈◊〉 , Yet takes delight to goe exceeding gawdy , To sport , carouse , and doe such things besides , As to report of , would appeare too bawdy . Epigram . 8. Tib scornes bee tax'd for dearenesse of her Trade , That takes for hire , but as your Hackney Iade , Provided you depart e're Candle-light , Or pay her Fees double if you stay all night . Epigram 9. Sib lets her Corps out at uncertaine prises , Still as the Faires or Markets falls , or rises . Epigram . 10. Nans Husband cares not for the peoples chatt , She brings him profit , and he knowes what 's what : They by their prating shew their wit but small , He by his gaining shewes all wit , Wittall . FINIS . 
A13481	----	Odcombs complaint: or Coriats funerall epicedium or death-song, vpon his late reported drowning. With his epitaph in the Barmuda, and Utopian tongues. And translated into English by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1613 Approx. 22 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 14 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13481 STC 23780 ESTC S104616 99840349 99840349 4847 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13481) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 4847) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 861:08) Odcombs complaint: or Coriats funerall epicedium or death-song, vpon his late reported drowning. With his epitaph in the Barmuda, and Utopian tongues. And translated into English by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [26] p. Printed for merrie recreation [by G. Eld], and are to be sold at the salutation in Vtopia [by W. Burre?], [London] : 1613. Place of publication, printer, and suggested bookseller from STC. In verse. Signatures: A (-A1) B⁶. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Coryate, Thomas, ca. 1577-1617 -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion ODCOMBS Complaint : OR CORIATS funerall Epicedium : or Death-song , vpon his late reported drowning . WITH His Epitaph in the Barmuda , and Utopian tongues . And translated into English by Iohn Taylor . Printed for merrie recreation , and are to be told at the salutation in Vtopia . 1613. The Authour in his owne defence . IF any where my lines do fall out lame , I made them so , in merriment and game : For , be they wide , or side , or long , or short , All 's one to me , I writ them but in sport ; Yet I would haue the Reader thus much know● That when I list my simple skill to show In poesie , I could both read and spell : I know my Dactils , and my Spondees well ; My true proportion , & my equal measure , What accent must bee short , and what at leasur● How to transpose my words frō place , to plac● To giue my poesie the greater grace . Either in Pastorall or Comick straine , In Tragedy , or any other vaine , ●n nipping Satyrs , or in Epigrams , ●n Odes , in Elegies , or Anagrams , ●n eare-bewitching rare Hexameters , Or in Iambicks , or Pentameters : ● know these like a Sculler not a Scholler , And therefore Poet , pray asswage your coller . ●f as theese in writing you enuy me , Before you iudge me do your worst and try me . I. T. To the Mirror of Time , the most refulgent , splendidious reflecting Court Animal , Don Archibald Armstrong : Great M. Comptroller , Commander , and Countermander of mirth , alacrity , sport , and ridiculous confabulations , in this septentrionall , or Westerne Monarchie of Magna Britannia . Your poore and daily Orator , IOHN TAILOR , wisheth increase of your wisdome , in your owne person , and that your eminence and spirit , may be infused into the bosoms of most mens heires , that esteem more of Wealth , then of WISDOME . RIght worthie worthlesse Patron , the daies and times being such , wherein wit goes a wool-gathering in a thredbare Iacket , and folly is well reputed amongst those that seeme wise , I , considering this , hauing but little wit , in a mad humour bad farewell it , and neuer so much as asked the question , with whether wilt thou ? Being certainly perswaded that playing the foole will repaire the breaches which my vnhappy wit hath made in the Bulwarke of my reputation ( as it hath done to many others ) wherefore good sir ( with ) reuerence I hearing that so great a member in your esteemed quality , as Mr. Thomas Coriat of Odcomb , was drowned in his passage towards Constantinople ; And knowing that many good & worthy writers haue graced his living trauels : So I haue made bold ( vnder your great Patronage ) to write his tragicall supposed Death-song , or Funerall Elegie ; not knowing any man of that worthy worth ( besides your selfe ) to whom I might dedicate these sad Epicediums . Thus , not doubting of your acceptance and protection , I commit my selfe and my labours to your wonderfull wisedomes censure , alwayes hauing a poore Muse to trauell in your seruice . Iohn Taylor . To the Gentlemen Readers , that vnderstand A. B. from a Battledore . NO sooner newe● of Coriats death was com , But with the same , my Muse was strooken done : For whiest he liued he was my Muses subiect Her onely life , and sence sole pleasing obiect . Odcombian , Graecian , Laune , Great Thom Asse He being dead what life hath she alasse . But yet I hope his death was false Report , Or else t was rumord to beget some sport : To try how his deare friends would take his death And what rare Epicedium , they would make , T' accompany his all-amented Herse , In hobling io●ling , rumbling tumbling verse Some smooth some harshe , some shorter and some long : As sweet Melodious as Madg Howle●● song : But , when I saw that no man tooke in hand To make the world his worth to vnderstand , 〈◊〉 vp I ●ussled from Obliuions den , And of a Ganders quill I made a pen , With which I wrote this following worke of woe ( Not caring much if he be dead or no : ) For , whilst his body did containe a life , The rare it wits were at continuall strife , Who should exceed each other in his glory , But none but I haue writ His Tragick story . If he be dead then farewell he : if not , At his returne , his thankes shal be thy lot , Meane time my muse doth like an humble Pleader Intreat acceptance of the gentle Reader . Remaining yours euer , IOHN TAILOR . A sad , ioyfull , lamentable , delightfull merry-go-sorry Elegie or Funerall Poem vpon the supposed death of the famous Cosmographicall surueior , & Historiographical Relator M Thomas Coriat of Odcomb . O For a rope of Onions from Saint Omers , And for the Muse of golden tongued Homers That I might write and weep , and weep and write , Odcombian Coriats timeles last good-night O were my wit inspird with Scoggins vaine , Or that Wil Summers Ghost had seasd my braine , Or Tarlton , Lanum , Sin●er , Kempe , and Pope , Or she that danc't and tumbled on the rope , Or Tilting Archy , that so brauely ran , Against Don Phoeb●s knight , that wordy man. O all you crew , inside pv de couloured garments . Assist me to the heigth of your preferments : And with your wits and spirits inspire my pate ful . That I in Coriats praise be not ingratefull , If euer age lamented losse of folly If euer man had cause of Melancholly . Then now 's the time to waile his ruthles wracke , And weepe in teares of Claret and of Sack. ANd now , according to my weake inuention , His wondrous worthles worthines I le mentiō Yet to describe him as he is , or was , The wit of Men or Monsters would surpasse His head was a large powdring tub of phrases , Whēce men wold pick delights , as boies pick daises O head , no head , but blockhouse of feirce wars , Where wit and learning were at daily Iars Who should possesse the Mansion of his pate : But at the last , to end this great debate : Admired learning tooke his heads possession . And turnd his wit a wandring in progression . But Minyon Muse , hold , whether wilt thou goe , Thinkst thou his rare anotomy to shew , None borne a Christian , Turke , nor yet in Tartary Can write each veyne , each sinew , and each artery . His eyes and eares like broakers by extortion Ingrost strange forraine manners and proportion But what his eyes and eares did see or heare , His tongue or pen dischargd the reckoning cleare , That sure I thinke , he well could prooue by law , He vttered more then ere he heard or saw . His tongue and hands haue truly paid their score , And freely spent what they receau●d and more , But lord to see , how farre ore = shot am I To wade thus deepe in his Anotomy . What now he is I le lightly ouerpasse , I le only write ●n part , but what he was : That as Grim Death our pleasures thus hath crost , T is good , because he 's gon , to know what 's lost . HEe wa● the Imp , whilst he on earth suruiu'd , From whom this west-worlds pastimes were deriu'd , He was in Citty , Country , feild , and Court The VVell of dry braind Iests , and Pump of sport , He was the treasure-house of wrinkled laughter , Where melancholy moodes are put to slaughter : And in a word he was a man mongst many , That neuer yet was parraleld by any , Who now like human spite of wind and weather , Will weare on earthlesse shirt 5. months together ? Who now to doe his natiue country grace , Will for a Trophee execute his case ? VVho now will take the height of euery Gallowes ? Or who 'le describe the signe of euery Alehowse ? Whether his Host were bigg , or short , or tall And whether he did knock ere he did call : The color of ●i● Host and Hostesse hare ? VVhat he bought cheap , & what he paid for deare : For vea●e or mutton what he paid a ioynt , VVhere he sate down , and where be loosd a poynt . Each Tower , each Turret , and each lofty steeple , VVho now ( like him ) wil tel the vulgar people ? VVho now wil set a worke so many writers , As he hath done in spight of his back-biters VVith Panegericks , Anagrams Acrosticks , T' emblazon him the cheife among fantasticks ? Alas not one not one aliue doth liue , That to the world can such contentment giue , Should Poets stretch their Muses on the rack , And study till their percrianions crack . Should ●oot-back●t orting Trauelours intend , To match his trauailes , all were to no end . Let Poets write their best , and Trotters run , They nere shall write nor run as he hath don . But Neptune and great AEolus contending Gainst one another all their forces bending , VVhich of them soon'st should rob the happy earth Of this rare man of men , this map of mirth . And like two enuious great ambitious Lords , They fell at deepe and dangerous discords ; The sea-god with his three tin'd angry Rod com , And swore by Stix he would haue Tom of Odcomb . With that , sterne Eole blew a boisterous blast , And in his rage did gusts and tempests cast In sh●●●ring voil●es at fierce Neptunes head : Who like a valiant Champion scorning dread , Gaue blow for blow with his commanding Mace , And spitting seemes in spightfull AEols face , That golden Titan hid his glistering ray , As fearing to behold this horrid fray . Cimerian darknes curtain'd all the world , An Ebon Mantle ore the Globe was hurld , The wallowing waues turn oild the restlesse ships , Like School boies shattlecocks that leaps & skips , The Top-mast seems to play with Phoebus nose , Strait downe toward Erebus amaine she goes : Blow wind , quoth Neptune , til thy entrails breake , Against my force thy force shall be too weake : Then like two fooles at variance for a trifle , They split the ship , they enter and they rifle . Like cursed Law-wormes , enuious and cruell , Striuing to seaze the peerlesse matchlesse Iewell , Whil'st AEol sought aboue the skies to crown him ; Blew-bearded Neptune in his arms did drown him . The Wind-god sees the prize and battel lost , Blowes , storms , and rages to be curb'd and crost , And vow'd to rowze great Neptune in his Court , And in his teeth his iniury retort : Then he commands retreat to all his forces ; Who riding sundry waies on winged horses , Bigge Boreas to the freezing North went puffing , And slauering Auster , to the South went huffing , Eurus went East , and Zephyrus went West , And thus the warres of windes and seas did rest . ANd now dame Thetis in thy vasty womb , Is odd Odcombians Coriats timeless Toomb , Where Nayads , Driads , and sweet sea-nimphs tend him , And with their daily seruice do befriend him , There al-shap'd Proteus and shril trumping Triton And many more , which I can hardly write on , As if it were the thing they glory at , In seruile troopes they waite on Coriat , That though like hel , the sea were far more dark as Yet these would guard his vnreguarded carkasse . You Academick , Latine , Greeke Magisters , You of-springs of the three times treble Sisters , Write , study , teach vntil your tongs haue blisters . For , now the Haddocks , and the shifting Sharks , That feed on Coriat , will become great Clarks : The wri-mouth'd Place & mumping Whiting-mops Wil in their mawes keep Greeke and Latine shops , The Pork-like Porpose ; Thorn-back , and the Scate Like studious Grecian Latinists will prate , And men with eating them , by inspiration , With these two tongues , shall fill each barbarous Nation . Then , though the Sea hath rudely him bereft vs ; Yet , midst our woes , this onely comforts left vs , That our posterities by eating fishes , Shall pick his wisdome out of diuers dishes ; And then ( no doubt ) but thousands more will be As learned , or perhaps all as wise-men as he : But to conclude , affection makes me cry , Sorrow prouokes me sleep , griefe dries mine eye . EPITAPH in the Barmooda tongue , which must be pronounced with the accent of the grunting of a hogge . HOugh grantough wough Thomough Coriatough , Odcough robunquogh , Warawogh bogh Comitogh segh wogh termanatogrogh , Callimogh gogh whobogh Ragamogh demagorgoh palemogh , Lomerogh nogh Tottertogh illemortogh eagh Allaquemquogh , Teracominogh Iagogh Iamerogh mogh Carnogh pelepsogh , Animogh trogh deradrogh maramogh hogh Flondrogh calepsogh . Epitaph in the Vtopian tongue . NOrtumblum callimūquash omystoliton quashte burashte , Scribuke woshtay solusbay perambulatushte ; Grekay sons Turkay Paphay zums Ieruslushte . Neptus esht Ealors Interremoy diz Dolorushte , Confahuloy Odcombay Prozeugmollitō tymorumynoy ; Omulas or at ushte paralescus tolliton vmbroy . The same in English , translated by Caleb Quishquash , an Vtopian borne and principall Secretary to the great Adelantado of Barmoodoes . HEre lies the wonder of the English Nation , Inuolv'd in Neptunes british vasty maw : For fruitlesse trauell , and for strange relation , He past and repast all that ere eve saw . Odcomb produc'd him ; many Nations fed him , And worlds of Writers , through the world haue spred him , FINIS . Certaine Sonnets , in prayse of Mr. Thomas the deceased ; fashioned of diuers stuffs , as mockado , fustian , stand-further off , and Motly , all which the Author dedicates to the immortall memory of the famous Odcombian traueller . COnglomerating Aiax , in a fogge Constulted with Ixion for a tripe , At which Gargantua tooke an Irish bogge , And with the same ga●e Sisiphus a stripe . That all the bumbast forrests gan to swell , With Triple treble trouble and with ioy , That Lucifer kept holiday to hell , Cause Cupid would no more be cald a boy . Delucitating Flora's painted hide , Redeemes Arion from the hongry Wolfe , And with conglutinating haughty pride , Threw Pander in the damb'd Venetian gulfe , The Mediterrane mountaines laught and smil'd , And Libra wandred in the woods so wild . Bright Cassia Fistula was wondrous sad , To heare Zarzaparillas great mis-hap , And Coloquintida was raging mad When Saxafrage was set in Rubarbs lap ; Dame Lickorish was in a monstrous fume , Against the lushious Reasons of the sunne , And Trinidado smoake auoids the roome , Whil'st Gum-armoniack sweares she is vndone ; Vnguentum album is so pale and wan That Paracelsus plaister mournes in black , The spanish Eleborus strongly can Make Lignum vita's hide with neesing crack : Lo , thus with vnguents , plaisters , oyles , & drugge● We coniure vp the fierce infernall bugges . The headstrong Torchlight of Cimerian waues , VVith fiery frozen wonder leaps and vaults : And on th' Altantick Ocean cuts and shaues , VVhilst thunder thwacking Ossa limps and halts , Robustious AEtna drownes the Artick Pole , And forked Vulcan hath forsooke his forge , Apollo'es piebald mare hath cast her fole , And Mulley Mahomet hath fild his gorge . Don Belzebub sits sleaing of his breech , And Marble Proteus dances , leaps and skips , Belerophon hath pend an excellent speech , And big-boand Boreas kist Anroraes lipps : The Welkin rumbles ; Argos lies a sleepe , And Tantalus hath slaine a flock of sheepe . VVhen flounder-flapping Termagant was slaine , The smug fac'd Cerberus did houle and yell . And Polyphemus rid in Charles his waine , VVhilst Gorgons head rung great Alcides knell , The rip-rap-riffe-raffe , thwick thwack stout Babo● Gripes in his downy clutch the spungy Oake . And Yong Andromeda at night rings noone , VVhilst Asdrubal at tick tack lost his cloake , Prometheus couering , the Vmbranoes head , And Typhon tumbles through the solide Ayre : Proud Pegasus on Cheese and Garlick fed , And Proserpina went to Sturbidge faire . Pope Hildebrand bad Pluto home to supper , And Don Diegoes horse hath broke his crupper . Dick Swash drew out his three pild blunted blade And flasht in twaine the equinoctiall line : Tom Thumb did through th' Arabian deserts wade , VVhere Castor and his brother Pollux shine , The threed bare flap-Iacks of the westerne Iles , Exasperates the Marble Sithian Snow , Damu Venus traueld fifty thousand miles To see the bounds of Nilus ebbe and flow . The Gurmondizing Quagmires of the East , Ingurgitates the Eremanthean Bull : And rude rebounding Sagittarius Ceast To pipe Leualtoes to Gonzagues Trull The Adriatick Polcats sate carousing , And hidebound Gogmagog his shirt was lowfin● Sweet Semi-circled Cinthya plaid at maw , The whilst Endimion ran the wild-goose chase . Great Bacchus with his Crosbow kild a daw , And sullen Saturne smil'd with pleasant face . The ninefold Bugbeares of the Caspian lake , Sate whistling Ebon hornepipes to their Ducks , Madgh●ulet straight for ioy her Girdle brake . And rugged Satyrs friskd like Stagges and Buck● The vntamd tumbling fifteene footed Goat , With promulgation of the Lesbian shores , Confronted Hydra in a sculler Boat , At which the mighty mountaine Tauris rores Meane time great Sultan Soliman was borne , And Atlas blew his rustick tumbling horne . IF there bee any Gentlemen , or others that are desirous to be practitioners in the Barmoodo and Vtopian tongues : the Professor ( being the Author hereof ) dwelleth at the olde Swanne neere London Bridge , who wil teach them ( that are willing ) to learne , with agilitie and facility . Errata . REader , you must imagine these sixe confused Sonnets , of Rime without Reason , are confusedly put together ; but I would entreate you ●or your better vnderstanding , to diuide them into ●4 . lines a peece in your reading . FINIS . 
A13478	----	A new discouery by sea, with a vvherry from London to Salisbury. Or, a voyage to the West, the worst, or the best That e're was exprest. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1623 Approx. 63 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 20 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-10 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13478 STC 23778 ESTC S102630 99838402 99838402 2778 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13478) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 2778) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1118:14) A new discouery by sea, with a vvherry from London to Salisbury. Or, a voyage to the West, the worst, or the best That e're was exprest. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [20] leaves Printed by Edw: Allde for the author, London : 1623. Signatures: A-B C⁴. Printer's device (McKerrow 310) on title page. Partly in verse. Some print faded and show-through. Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng England -- Description and travel -- 1601-1700. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-07 TCP Staff (Oxford) Sampled and proofread 2003-05 SPi Global Rekeyed and resubmitted 2005-03 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2005-03 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-04 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A New Discouery by Sea , with a VVherry from London to Salisbury . OR , A Voyage to the West , The Worst , or the Best . That e're was exprest . By IOHN TAYLOR . LONDON , Printed by Edw : Allde for the Author . 1623. TO THE NOBILITIE , Gentrie , and Communaltie , Who are inhabitants , or wel-willers , to the welfare of the Citie of Salisbury , and County of Wiltshire . Right Honourable , WOrshipfull , and louing Country-men , I haue named my Booke and Voyage , The Worst , or the Best , which I euer vndertooke and finished , and it lyes in your pleasures , to make it which you please ; I am sure for toyle , trauaile , and danger , as yet I neuer had a worse , or a more difficult passage , which the ensuing Discourse will truly testifie ; yet all those perils past I shall accompt as pleasures , if my infallible Reasons may moue or perswade you to cleere your Riuer , and make it Nauigable from the Sea to your Citie ; I haue in part touched what the proffit and Commodities of it will be vnto you , and I haue briefly shewed the Inconueniences which you haue through the want of it : I haue also declared , that the maine intent or scope of my comming vnto you with a Wherry ; was to see what lets or Impediments were the hinderances vnto so good and beneficiall a worke . All which I haue ( according to my simple Suruey , and weake Capacity ) set downe , which with the merrines of my most Hazardous Sea-progresse , I humbly Dedicate to your Noble , Worshipfull and worthy Acceptances , euer acknowledgling my selfe and my Labour in your seruices oo be commanded in all dutie . Iohn Taylor . A Discouery by Sea , from London to Salisbury . AS our accompt in Almanacks agree , The yeare cal'd sixteen hundred twenty three : That Iulyes twenty eight , two houres past dinner , We with our Wherry , and fiue men within her , Along the christall Thames did cut and curry , Betwixt the Counties , Middlesex and Surry : whilst thousands gaz'd , we past the bridge with wōder , Where fooles & wise men goe aboue & vnder . We thus our Voyage brauely did begin Downe by St. Katherines , where the Priest fell in , By Wapping , where as hang'd drownd Pirats dye ; ( Or else such Rats , I thinke as would eate Pye. ) And passing further , I at first obseru'd That Cuckolds-Hauen was but badly seru'd , For there old Tyme , had such confusion wrought , That of that Ancient place remained nought . No monumentall memorable Horne , Or Tree , or Poste , which hath those Trophees born , Was left , whereby Posteritie may know Where theire forefathers Crests did growe , or show . Which put into a maze my musing Muse , Both at the worlds neglect , and Times abuse , That that stout Pillar , to Obliuions pit Should fall , whereon Plus vltra might be writ , That such a marke of Reuerend note should lye Forgot , and hid , in blacke obscurity ▪ Especially when men of euery sort Of countries , Cities , warlike Campes or Court , Vnto that Tree are plaintiffs or defendants , Whose loues , or feares , are fellowes , or atendants : Of all estates , this Hauen hath some partakers By lot , some Cuckolds , and some Cuckold-makers . And can they all so much forgetfull be Vnto that Ancient , and Renowned Tree , That hath so many ages stood Erected , And by such store of Patrones beene protected , And now Ingloriously to lye vnseene As if it were not , or had neuer beene ? Is Lechery wax'd scarce , is Bawdery scant , Is there of Whores , or Cuckolds any want ? Are Whore-masters decaide , are all Bawdes dead , Are Panders , Pimps , and Apple-squires , all fled ? No surely , for the Surgeons can declare That Venus warres , more hot then Marses are . Why then , for shame this worthy Port maintaine , Let 's haue our Tree , and Hornes set vp againe : That Passengers may shew obedience to it , In putting off their Hats , and homage doe it . Let not the Cornucopiaes of our land , Vnsightly and vnseene neglected stand : I know it were in vaine for me to call That you should raise some famous Hospitall , Some Free-schole , or some Almes house for the poore That might encrease good deeds & ope heau'ns dore 'T is no taxation great , or no collection Which I doe speake of , for This great erection , For if it were , mens goodnesses , I know Would proue exceeding barren , dull , and slow : A Post and Hornes , will build it firme and stable , Which charge to beare , there 's many a begger able ; The place is Ancient , of Respect most famous , The want of due regard to it doth shame vs , For Cuckolds Hauen , my request is still , And so I leaue the Reader to his will. But holla Muse , no longer be offended , 'T is worthily Repair'd , and brauely mended , For which great meritorious worke , my pen Shall giue the glory vnto Greenwich men . It was their onely cost , they were the Actors Without the helpe of other Benefactors , For which my pen , their praises here adornes , As they haue beautified the Hau'n with Hornes . From thence to Debtford we amaine were driuen , Whereas an Anker vnto me was giuen With parting pintes , and quarts for our farewell We tooke our leaues , and so to Greenwich fell . There shaking hands , adiews , and drinkings store We tooke our Ship againe , and left the shore . Then downe to Erith , 'gainst the tyde we went Next London , greatest Mayor towne in Kent Or Christendome , and I aproue it can , That there the Mayor was a Waterman , Who gouernes , rules , and reignes sufficiently , And was the Image of Authority : With him we had cheap Reck'nings & good cheere , And nothing but his friendship we thought deare . But thence we rows'd our selues and cast off sleepe Before the day-light did begin to peepe . The tyde by Grauesend swiftly did vs bring before the mounting Larke began to sing , And e're we came to Lee , with speedy pace The Sun gan rise with most suspicious face , Of foule foreboding weather , purple , red , His Radient Tincture , East , Northeast o'respread , And as our Oares thus downe the Riuer pul'd , Oft with a Fowling-peece the Gulls we gull'd , * For why the Master Gunner of our ship , Let no occasion or aduantage slip , But charg'd and discharg'd , shot , and shot againe , And scarce in twenty times shot once in vaine . Foule was the weather , yet thus much I le say If 't had beene Faire , fowle was our food that day . Thus downe alongst the spacious Coast of Kent By Grane , and Sheppeies Ilands downe we went , We past the Nowre-head , and the sandie shore Vntill we came to th' East end of the Nowre , At last by Ramsgates Peere , we stiffly Rowed The winde and tyde , against vs blowed and flowed , Till neere vnto the Hauen where Sandwich stands , We were enclosed with most dangerous sands . There were we sowsd & slabberd , wash'd & dash'd , And grauell'd , that it made vs * halfe abash'd : We look'd and pry'd , and stared round about From our apparant perils to get out , For with a Staffe , as we the depth did sound , Foure miles from land , we almost were on ground . At last ( vnlook'd for ) on our Larboord side A thing turmoyling in the Sea we spide , Like to a Meareman ; wading as he did All in the Sea his neather parts were hid , Whose Brawney limbes , and rough neglected Beard And grim aspect , made halfe of vs afeard , And as he vnto vs his course did make I courage tooke , and thus to him I spake . Man , monster , fiend or fish , what e're thou be That trauelst here in Neptunes Monarchy , I charge thee by his dreadfull Three-tin'd Mace Thou hurt not me or mine , in any case , And if thou be'st produc'd of Mortall kinde Shew vs some course , how we the way may finde To deeper water , from these sands so shallow , I which thou seest our ship thus wash and wallow . With that ( he shrugging vp his shoulders strong ) Spake ( like a Christian ) in the Kentish tongue , Quoth he , Kinde sir , I am a Fisherman Who many yeares my liuing thus haue wan By wading in these sandy troblous waters For Shrimps , Wilks , Cockles , and such vsefull matters , And I will lead you , ( with a course I 'le keepe ) From out these dangerous shallowes to the deepe . Then ( by the nose ) along he led our Boate Till ( past the flatts ) our Barke did brauely floate , Our Sea-horse , that had drawne vs thus at large I gaue two groates vnto , and did discharge . Then in an houre and a halfe , or little more , We throgh the Downes at Deale went safe on shore . There did our Hostesse dresse the Fowle we kill'd , With which our hungry stomacks well we fill'd , The morrow being Wednesday ( breake of day ) We towards Douer took our weary way : The churlish windes awak'd the Seas high fury , Which made vs glad to land there , I assure yee . Blinde Fortune did so happily contriue , That we ( as sound as bells ) did safe ariue At Douer , where a man did ready stand To giue me Entertainment by the hand . A man of mettle , marke and note , long since He graced was to lodge a gratious Prince , And now his speeches sum , and scope and pith Is Iack and Tom , each one his Cosin Smith , That if with pleasant talke you please to warme ye He is an Host , much better then an Army , A goodly man , well fed , and corpulent Fill'd like a bag-pudding with good content , A right good fellow , free of cap and legge , Of complement , as full as any Egge : To speake of Him , I know it is of Folly , He is a mortall foe to Melancholly , Mirth is his life and trade , and I thinke very That he was got when all the world was merry : Health vpon health , he doubled and redoubled , Till his , and mine , and all our braines were troubled , Vnto our absent Betters there we dranke ; Whom we are bound to loue , they not to thanke , By vs mine Host could no great proffit reape Our meate and lodging , was so good and cheape , That to his praise thus much I le truly tell , He vs'd vs kindely euery way and well . And though my lines before are merry writ , Where ere I meet him I le acknowledge it . To see the Castle there I did desire , And vp the Hill I softly did aspire , Whereas it stands , impregnable in strength Large in Circumference , heigth , bredth , and length , Built on a fertile plat of ground , that they Haue yearely growing twenty loads of Hay , Great Ordnance store , pasture for Kine and Horses , Rampiers and Walls , t' withstand inuasiue forces , That be it well with truth and courage man'd , Munition , victuall'd , then it can withstand The powers of twenty Tamberlaines ( the Great ) Till in the end with shame they would Retreat . T is gouern'd by a graue and prudent Lord , Whose Iustice doth to each their right afford , Whose worth ( within the Castle , and without ) The fiue Ports , and the country all about , The people with much loue , doe still recite , Because he makes the wrongers render Right . The kindnesse I receiued there was such , That my remembrance cannot be too much . I saw a Gun thrice eight foot length of Brasse , And in a Wheele I saw a comely Asse ( Dance like a Dogge ) that 's turning of a Spit , And draw as it were from the infernall pit , ( Whose deepe Abisse is perpendicular One hundred fathome ( or well neere as farre ) So christaline , so cleere , and coole a water , That will in Summer make a mans teeth chatter , And when to see it vp , I there had stood , I dranke thereof , and found it sweet and good . So farewell Castle , Douer , Douer Peere , Farewell Host Bradshaw , thanks for my good cheere . My bonny Barke to Sea was bound againe ; On Thursday morne , we launchd into the maine , By Folstone , and by Sangates ancient Castle , Against the rugged waues , we tugge and wrastle By Hyde , by Rumney , and by Rumney Marsh , The Tyde against vs , and the winde blew harsh , 'Twixt Eolus and Neptune was such strife , That I n're felt worse weather in my life . Tost and retost , retost and tost againe ; With rumbling , tumbling , on the rowling Maine , The boystrous breaking Billowes curled locks Impetuously did beate against the Rockes , The winde much like a Horse whose wind is broke , Blew thicke and short , that we were like to choake , As it outragiously the billowes shaues The Gusts ( like dust ) blowne from the bryny waues , And thus the windes and seas robustious gods Fell by the eares starke mad , at furious ods . Our slender Ship , turmoyld 'twixt shores and Seas , Aloft or Iowe , as stormes and flawes did please : Sometimes vpon a foaming Mountaines top , Whose heigth did seeme the heau'ns to vnderprop , When straight to such profunditie she fell As if she diu'd into the deepest Hell , The Clowdes like ripe Apostumes burst & showrd , Their mattery watery substance , headlong powr'd ; Yet though all things were mutable and fickle They all agreed to souse vs in a pickle , Of waters fresh and salt , from Seas and skye , Wihch with our sweat ioynd in triplicitie , That looking each on other , there we saw We neither were halfe stewd , nor yet halfe rawe , But neither hot or cold , good flesh or fishes For Canniballs , we had beene ex'lents dishes . Bright Phoebus hid his golden head with feare , Not daring to behold the dangers there , Whilst in that straight or Exigent we stand , We see and wish to land , yet durst not land , Like rowling Hills the Billowes beate and roare Against the melancholly Beachie shore , That if we landed , neither strength or wit Could saue our Boate from being sunke or split . To keepe the Sea , sterne puffing Eols breath Did threaten still to blow vs all to death , The waues amaine ( vnbid ) oft boorded vs , Whilst we almost three houres beleaguerd thus On euery side with danger and distresse Resolu'd to runne on shore at Dengie Nesse . There stands some thirteene Cottages together , To shelter Fishermen from winde and weather , And there some people were as I suposd , Although the dores and windowes all were closd : I neere the land , into the Sea soone leapt To see what people those same houses kept , I knockd and cald , at each , from house to house , But found no forme of mankinde , man or Mouse . This newes all sad , and comfortlesse and cold Vnto my company I straightwaies told , Assuring them the best way I did thinke Was to hale vp the Boate , although she sinke . Resolued thus , we altogether please To put her head to shore , her sterne to Seas , They leaping ouerboord amidst the Billowes We pluck'd her vp ( vnsunke ) like stout tall fellowse . Thus being wet , from top to toe we strip'd ( except our shirts ) and vp and downe we skip'd , Till winde and Sunne our wants did well supply And made our outsides , and our insides drie . Two miles from thence , a ragged town there stood , To which I went to buy some drinke and food : Where kindely ouer reckon'd , well misus'd , Was , and with much courtesie abusde . Mine Hostes did account it for no trouble , For single fare to make my paiment double : Yet did her minde and mine agree together That I ( once gone ) would neuer more come thither . The Cabbins where our Boate lay safe and well , Belong'd to men which in this towne did dwell : And one of them ( I thanke him ) lent vs then The Key to o'pe his hospitable Den , A brazen Kettle , and a pewter dish , To serue our needs , and dresse our flesh and fish , Then from the Butchers we bought Lambe & sheep Beere from the Alehouse , and a Broome to sweepe Our Cottage , that for want of vse was musty , And most extreamly rusty-fusty-dusty . There , two dayes space , we Roast , & boyle & broyle And toyle , and moyle , and keepe a noble coyle , For onely we kept open house alone , And he that wanted Beefe might haue a Stone . Our Grandam Earth ( with beds ) did all befriend vs And bountifully all our lengthes did lend vs , That laughing , or else lying downe did make Our backs and sides sore , and our ribs to ake . On Saturday the windes did seeme to cease , And brawling Seas began to hold their peace , When we ( like Tenants ) beggerly and poore , Decreed to leaue the Key beneath the doore , But that our Land-lord did that shift preuent Who came in pudding time , and tooke his Rent , And as the Sunne , was from the Ocean peeping We launch'd to Sea againe , and left house-keeping . When presently we saw the drisling skyes Gan powt and lowre , and Windes and Seas gan rise , Who each on other playd their parts so wilde As if they meant not to be Reconcilde , The whilst we leape vpon those liquid hills Where Porposes did shew their finns and Gills , Whilst we like various Fortunes Tennis ball At euery stroake , were in the Hazzard all . And thus by Rye , and Winchelsey we past By Fairleigh , and those Rockie cliffs at last . Some two miles short of Hastings , we perceiu'd The Lee shore dangerous , and the Billowes heau'd , Which made vs land ( to scape the Seas distresse ) Within a harbour , almost harbourlesse . ( We giue God thankes ) amongst the Rocks we hit , Yet were we neither wash'd or sunk , or split . Within a Cottage nigh there dwels a Weauer Who entertain'd vs , as the like was neuer , No meat , no drinke , no lodging ( but the floore ) No Stoole to sit , no Locke vnto the doore , No straw to make vs litter in the night , Nor any Candlesticke to hold the light , To which the Owner bid vs welcome still Good entertainment , though our cheare was ill . The morrow when the Sun with flushed face In his diurnall course began to trace , The winde exceeding stiffe and strong and tough , The Seas outragious , and extreamely rough , Our Boate laid safe vpon the Beachy sand Whilst we to Hastings went or walk'd by land . Much ( to that Towne ) my thankfulnesse is bound , Such vndeserued kindnesse there I found . Three nights we lay there , and three daies we spent Most freely welcom'd , with much merriment . Kinde Mr. Mayor his loue aboue the rest ; Me and my crew , he did both feed and feast , He sent vs Gold , and came himselfe to vs ; My thankes are these , because his loue was thus . Mine Host and Hostesse Clayton both I thanke And all good fellowes there , I found so francke , That what they had , or what could there be got They neither thought too heauy or too hot . The windes and seas continued still their course Inueterate seem'd their rage , vntam'd their force , Yet were we loath to linger and delay : But once againe to venture and away . Thus desperatly resolud , twixt hope and doubt Halfe sunke with launching , madly we went out , At twelue a clorke at noone , and by Sun set To Miching , or New Hauen , we did get . There almost sunke ( to saue our Boat at last ) Our selues into the shallow Seas we cast : And pluck d her into safety to remaine Till Friday that we put to sea againe . Then mongst our old acquaintance ( storms & flaws ) At euery stroake neere deaths deuouring iawes : The weary daye we past through many feares , And land at last quite sunke ore head and eares . All dropping drie , like fiue poore Rats halfe drownd From succour farre , we halde the Boate on ground : Cast out our water , whilst we brauely drop'd , And vp and downe to drie our selues we hop'd . Thus we our weary Pilgrimage did weare , Expecting for the weather calme and cleare : But stormes , flawes , windes , seas , tooke no minutes rest , Continuall fiercely blowing , West Southwest . A Towne call'd Goreing , stood neere two miles wide To which we went , and had our wants supplide : There we relieu'd our selues ( with good compassion ) With meate and lodging of the homely fashion . To bed we went in hope of rest and ease , But all beleaguer'd with an host of Fleas : Who in their furie nip'd and skip'd so hotly , That all our skins were almost turn'd to motly . The bloudy fight endur'd at least sixe houres , When we ( opprest with their encreasing powres ) Were glad to yeeld the honour of the day Vnto our foes , and rise and runne away . The night before , a Constable there came , Who ask'd my Trade , my dwelling , and my name : My businesse , and a troope of questions more , And wherefore we did land vpon that shore ? To whom I fram'd my answers true , and fit ( According to his plenteous want of wit ) But were my words all true , or if I lyde , With neither I could get him satisfide . He ask'd if we were Pyrates ? we said no , ( As if we had , we would haue told him so . ) He said that Lords sometimes would enterprise T' escape , and leaue the Kingdome in disguise : But I assur'd him on my honest word , That I was no disguised Knight or Lord , He told me then that I must goe sixe miles T' a Iustice there , Sir Iohn , or else Sir Giles : I told him I was loath to goe so farre , And he tolde me , he would my iourney barre . Thus what with Fleas , and with the seuerall prat Of th'Officer , and his Ass-ociates , We arose to goe , but Fortune bad vs stay : The Constable had stolne our Oares away . And borne them thence a quarter of a mile , Quite through a Lane , beyond a gate and stile , And hid them there , to hinder my depart , For which I wish'd him hang'd with all my hart . A Plowman ( for vs ) found our Oares againe , Within a field well fill'd with Barly Graine : Then madly gladly out to Sea we thrust , Gainst windes and stormes , & many a churlish Gust : By Kingston Chappell , and by Rushington , By little Hampton , and by Midleton , To Bognors fearefull Rockes , which hidden lie Two miles into the Sea , some wet , some drie , There we suppos'd our danger most of all , If we on those remorcelesse Rockes should fall , But by th' Almighties mercy , and his might , We Row'd to Selsey , where we stay'd all night . There , our necessity could haue no Law , For want of beds we made good vse of Straw , Till Sol , that olde continuall Trauailer From Thetis lap , gan mount his flaming Car. The weather kept it's course , and blow'd , and rag'd , Without appearance it would e're be swag'd , Whilst we did passe those hills , & dales , & Downes , That had deuour'd great Ships , & swallow'd Towns. Thus after sixe or fiue houres toyle at least , We past along by Wittering , West and East , Vpon the Lee shore still the winde full South , We came neere Chichesters faire Hauens mouth . And being then halfe sunk , and all through wet , More fear'd then hurt , we did the Hauen get . Thus in that harbour we our course did frame To Portsmouth , where on Monday morne we came . Then to the Royall Fleete we Row'd abord , Where much good welcome they did vs afford . To the Lord Generall , first my thanks shall be , His bounty did appeare in gold to me , And euery one abord the Prince I found , In sted of want , to make their loues abound , Captaine Penrudduck there amongst the rest , His loue and bounty was to vs exprest , Which to requite , my thankfulnes I 'le showe , And that I 'le euer pay , and euer owe. On Tuesday morning we with maine and might , From Portsmouth crost vnto the I le of Wight : By Cowes stout Castle , we to Yarmouth hasted , And still the windes and Seas fierce fury lasted . On Wedn'sday we to Hursts strong Castle crost , Most dangerously sowsd , turmoyl'd and tost : Good harbour there we found , and nothing deere , I thank kinde M. Figge , * the Porter there , He shew'd vs there a Castle of defence Most vsefull , of a round circumference : Of such command , that none can passe those Seas Vnsunk , or spoil'd , except the Castle please . On Thursday we , our Boat row'd , pull'd and hal'd Vnto a place which is Key Hauen call'd . The winde still blowing , and the Sea so high , As if the losty waues would kisse the skie , That many times I wish'd with all my hart , My selfe , my Boat , and Crewe , all in a Cart ; Or any where to keepe vs safe and dry , The weather raged so outragiously . For sure I thinke the memory of man ( Since windes and Seas to blowe or flowe began ) Cannot remember so stormy weather In such continuance , held so long together For ten long weekes ere that , t is manifest , The winde had blowne at Sowth or west Southwest , And rais'd the Seas : to shew each others power , That all this space ( calme weather ) not one hower , That whether we did goe by Sunne or Moone , At any time , at midnight , or at noone : If we did launch , or if to land we set , We still were sure to be halfe sunk , and wet . Thus toyling of our weary time away , That Thursday was our last long look'd for day : For hauing past , with perill , and much paine , And plow'd , & furrow'd , o're the dangeroas maine , O're depths , and flats , and many a ragged Rock , We came to Christ-Church hau'n at fiue a clock . Thus God , in mercy , his iust iudgement sparing ( Gainst our presumption , ouer bold , and daring ) Who made vs see his wonders in the deepe , And that his power alone aloft did keepe , Our weather-beaten Boate aboue the waues , Each moment gaping to be all our Graues . We sinking scap'd , then not to vs , to Him Be all the Glory , for he caus'd vs swim . And for his mercy was so much extended On me ( whose temptings , had so farre offended ) Let me be made the scorne and scoffe of men , If euer I attempt the like agen . My loue , my duty , and my thankfulnesse , To Sir George Hastings I must here expresse : His deedes to me , I must requite in words , No other payment , poore mens state affords . With fruitlesse words , I pay him for his cost , With thanks to Mr. Templeman mine Host. So leauing Christ-Church , and the Hauen there , With such good friends as made vs welcome cheere : Some serious matter now I must compile , And thus from verse to prose I change my stile . GOD , who of his infinite wisedome made Man , of his vnmeasurable mercy redeemed him , of his boundlesse bounty , immense power , and eternall eye of watchfull prouidence releeues , guards , and conserues him ; It is necessary , that euery man seriously consider & ponder these things , and in token of obedience and thankfulnesse say with Dauid : What shall I render , and the man hauing thus searched considerately , the causer of his being , then let him againe meditate for * what cause hee hath a being : indeede it may be obiected that almost euery thing hath a being , as stones haue being , trees , hearbs , and plants , haue being and life : Beasts , fowles , and fishes , haue being , life , and sence : but to man is giuen a Being , life , sence , and reason , and after a mortall an immortall euer being ; this consideration will make a man know that hee hath little part of himselfe , which hee may iustly call his owne : his body is Gods , he made it ; his soule is his , who bought it ; his goods are but lent him , by him that will one day call him to a reckoning , for the well or ill disposing of them : so that man hauing nothing but what he hath receiued , and receiued nothing but what is to be imployed in the seruice of God , and consequently his Prince and Countrey , it is plainely to be perceiued , that euery man hath , the least share or portion of himselfe to boast of . I haue written this Preamble , not onely to enforme such as know not these things already ; but also to such whose knowledge is , as it were fallen into a dead sleepe , who doe liue as though there were no other being then here , and that their life and being was ordained onely of themselues , neither God , Prince , or Countrey , hauing no share or portion of them or of what they call theirs . But oh you Inhabitans of Salisburie , I hope there are no such crawling Cankerwormes , or Common-wealth Caterpillers amongst you . Nay , I am assured of the contrary , that there are many who ( with religious piety open hands and relenting hearts ) doe acknowledge that your goods are but lent in trust vnto you , and doe patiently beare the ouer-burthensome relieuing of many hundreds of poore wretches , which ( were it not for your charity ) would perish in your streetes . This being entred into my consideration , that your Citie is so much ouercharged with poore , as hauing in three Parishes neere 3000. besides decayed men a great many , and that those fewe which are of the wealthier sort , are continually ouerpressed with sustaining the wants of the needy , the Citie being as it were at the last gaspe , the poore being like Pharaohs leane Kine , euen ready to eate vp the fat ones : I haue made bold to write this Treatise ensuing , both to entreat a constant perseuerence in those who haue begun to doe good workes , and an encouragement or animating of all others , who as yet seeme slowe in these good proceedings . And if any thing here written by me , be either impertinent , extrauagant , rude , harsh , or ouer bold , I humbly entreate you to impute it rather to my want of iudgement , learning , and capacity , then to any presumption , or want of loue and duty to the Citie and cause , which is hereafter handled . It is sufficiently knowne that my intent and purpose at this time , was not to make any profit to my selfe vpon any aduenture ( as it is deemed by many ) by my passage from London to Salisbury with a Wherry , but I was entreated by a Waterman , which was borne in Salisbury , that I would beare him company for the discouery of the sands , flats , depthes , shoales , Mills , and Weares , which are impediments and lets , whereby the Riuer is not Nauigable from Christ-Church , or the Sea to Salisbury . Which after many dangerous gusts , and tempestuous stormes at Sea , ( which I haue recited in verse before ) it pleased God that at the last we entred the Riuer , which in my opinion is as good a Riuer , and with some charge may be made as passable as the Riuer of Thames is vpwards from Brentford to Windsor , or beyond it ; the shallow places in it are not many , The Mills neede not be remoued , and as for the Weares , no doubt but they may with conscience be compounded for . By which meanes of Nauigation , the whole City and Countrey would be relieued , loyterers turned into labourers , penurie into plenty , to the glory of God , the dignity and reputation of your Citie , and the perpetuall worthy memory of all benefactors , and well-willers vnto so noble a worke . If you will but examine your owne knowledges , you shall finde that in the whole dominion of England , there is not any one Towne or Citie which hath a Nauigable Riuer at it , that is poore , nor scarce any that are rich which want a Riuer with the benefits of Boates : The Towne of Kingston vpon Hull in Yorkshire , the Riuer there was cut out of Humber , by mens labours 20. miles vp into the Countrey , and what the wealth and estate of that Towne is , ( by the onely benefit of that Riuer ) it is not vnknowne to thousands : but you men of Sarum may see what a commodity Nauigation is , neerer hand ; there is your neighbour Southampton on the one side , and your deere friend Poole on the other , are a payre of hansome looking-Glasses for you , where you may see your want in their abundance , and your negligence in their industry . God hath placed your being in a fertile soyle , in a fruitfull valley , enuironed round with Corne , and as it were continually besieged with plenty : whilst you within ( hauing so many poore amongst you ) are rather lookers vpon happinesse then enioyers : moreouer ( by Gods appointment ) Nature hath saued you the labour of cutting a Riuer , for I thinke you haue one there as olde as your Citie ready made to your hands , if you will bee but industrious to amend those impediments in it , I dare vndertake to be one of the 3. or 4. men which shall bring or carie 16. or 20. Tunnes of goods betwixt the Sea and your Citie ▪ Now , with extreame toyle of men ; Horses & Carts , your wood is brought to you 18. or 20. miles , whereby the poore which cannot reach the high prices of your fewell , are enforced to steale or starue in the Winter , so that all your neere adioyning woods are continually spoyled by them : which faults by the benefit of the Riuer would be reformed , for the new Forrest standeth so neere to the water , that it is but cut the wood and put it into a Boate , which shall bring as much to your Citie as 20. Carts , and fourescore Horses : besides , by this Riuer you might draw to you a trade of Sea-coale , which would enrich you , and helpe the plaine and inland Townes and Villages where no wood growes . And for the Exportation of your Corne from Port to Port , within our owne Countrey , as it is well knowne what abundance of your Barley is continually made into Mault amongst you : which if you had cariage for it , might be brewed into Beere , wherewith you might serue diuers places with your Beere , which is now serued with your Mault : besides cariages of Brickes , Tyles , Stones , Charcoales , and other necessaries , which is now caried at deere rates by Horse or Carts , which now you send in Carts , or on Horses backes , to Southampton , to Bristow , and to many other places : so that the deerenesse of the Cariages eates vp all your commodities and profit , which discommodity may be auoyded , if your Riuer be cleansed : and what man can tell what good in time may redownd to your Citie from the Sea , by forraigne goods , which may be brought into Christ-Church Hauen by Shipping ? nor can it be truly imagined , what new and vsefull profitable businesses may arise in time by this meanes . Our Forefathers and Auncestors did in their liues time in former ages doe many worthy and memorable workes , but for all their industrie and cost , they did not ( or could not ) doe all ; but as there was much done to our hands , so there was much left for vs to doe , and very fitting it was that it should be so , for it is against common sence and reason our Fathers should toyle in good workes like drudges , and wee spend our times loytring like Drones : no , what they did was for our imitation . And withall , that wee should be leaders of our posterities by our examples into laudable endeuours , as our progenitours hath before shewed vs : we are their sonnes and offspring , wee haue their shapes and figures , wee beare their names , we possesse their goods , we inherit their lands ; we haue materials of stones , Timber , Iron , and such necessaries which they had , ( if not in greater abundance ) and hauing all these , let vs withall haue their willing and liberall hearts , and there is no question to be made , but that our Riuer of Auon will quickly be cleansed to the honest enriching of the rich , and the charitable relieuing of the poore . I am assured that there are many good men in the Citie & Country of Wiltshire , and others of worth and good respect in this Kingdome , who would willingly & bountifully assist this good work : but ( like Gossips neere a Stile ) they stand straining curtesie who shal go first : or the Mice in the Fable , not one will aduenture to hang the Bell about the Cats neck , So that if one good man would begin , it would be ( like a health drank to some beloued Prince at a great feast ) pledged most heartily , and by Gods grace effected most happily . You haue already begun a charitable worke amongst you , I meane your common Towne Brew-house , the profit of which you entend shall be wholy imployed for the supply of the poore and Impotents which liue in your Citie ; frō which sort of people ( being such a multitude ) the Brewers there haue found their best custome ; for no doubt but the meanest begger amongst you , is ( in some sort ) more valiant then the richest man : because the one dares to spend all he hath at the Alehouse , so dares not the other ; for the poore man drinks stifly to driue care away , and hath nothing to loose , and the rich man drinks moderatly , because he must beare a brain to look to what he hath . And of all Trades in the world a Brewer is the Loadstone , which drawes the customs of all functions vnto it . It is the marke or vpshot of euery mans ayme , and the bottomlesse whirlepoole that swallowes vp the profits of rich and poore . The Brewers Art ( like a wilde Kestrell or vnmand Hawke ) flies at all games ; or like a Butlers box at Christmasse , it is sure to win whosoeuer looses : In a word , it rules and raignes ( in some sort ) as Augustus Caesar did , for it taxeth the whole earth . Your Innes and Alehouses are Brookes and Riuers , and their Clyents are small Rills and Springs , who all ( very dutifully ) doe pay their tributes to the boundlesse Ocean of the Brewhouse . For all the world knowes , that if men and women did drinke no more then sufficed Nature , or if it were but a little extraordinary now and then vpon occasion , or by chance as you may terme it ; if drinking were vsed in any reason , or any reason vsed in drinking , I pray yee what would become of the Brewer then ? Surely wee doe liue in an age wherein the seauen deadly sinnes are euery mans Trade and liuing . Pride is the maintainer of thousands , which would else perish ; as Mercers , Taylers , Embroyders , Silk-men , Cutters , Drawers , Sempsters , Laundresses , of which functions there are millions which would starue but for Madame Pride with her changeable fashions . Leachery , what a continuall crop of profit it yeelds , appeares by the gallant thriuing , and gawdy outsides of many he and she , priuate and publike sinners , both in Citie and Suburbs . Couetousnesse is Embroidered with Extortion , and warmely lined & furred with oppression . And though it be a deuill , yet is it most Idolatrously adored , honoured , and worshipped , by those simple Sheepe-headed fooles , whom it hath vndone and beggered . I could speake of other vices , how profitable they are to a Common-wealth ; but my inuention is thirsty , and must haue one carouse more at the Brewhouse , who ( as I take it ) hath a greater share then any , in the gaines , which spring from the worlds abuses : for Pride is maintained by the humble , yet one kinde of Pride doth liue & profit by another : Leachery is supported by the cursed swarme of Bawdes , Panders , Pimps , Applesquires , Whores , and Knaues , and so euery sinne liues and thriues by the members , Agents , Ministers , and Clyents , which doe belong vnto them : but Drunkennesse playes at all , all trades , all qualities , all functions and callings can be drunk extemporie , not at any great Feast , or but at euery ordinary dinner or supper almost , when men are well satisfied with sufficiency , that then the mysterie of quaffing begins , with healths to many an vnworthy person ( who perhaps would not giue the price of the Reckoning to saue all them from hanging ( which make themselues sicke with drinking such vnthankfull healths ) I my selfe haue oftentimes dined or sup'd at a great mans Boord , and when I haue risen , the seruants of the house hath inforc'd me into the Seller or Buttry , where ( in the way of kindenesse ) they will make a mans belly like a Sowse-tub , and inforce me to drinke as if they had a commission vnder the deuills great seale to murder men with drinking , with such a deale of complementall oratory , As , off with your Cup , winde vp your bottome , vp with your taplash , and many more eloquent phrases , which Tully or Demosthenes neuer heard of ; that in conclusion I am perswaded three dayes fasting would haue beene more healthfull to me , then two houres feeding and swilling in that manner . If any man hang , drowne , stabbe , or by any violent meanes make away his life , the goods and lands of any such person , is forfeite to the vse of the King : and I see no reason but those which kill themselues with drinking , should be in the same estate and be buryed in the highwayes , with a stake droue through them : And if I had but a graunt of this suite , I would not doubt but that in seauen yeeres ( if my charity would but agree with my wealth ) I might erect Almes-houses , Free-schooles , mend highwaies , and make Bridges ; for I dare sweare , that a number ( almost numberlesse ) haue confessed vpon their death-beds , that at such and such a time , in such and such a place , they dranke so much which made them surfeit , of which surfeit they languished and dyed . The maine benefit of these superfluous and man-slaughtering expences comes to the Brewer , so that if a Brewer be in any office , I hold him to be a very ingratefull man if he punish a Drunkard , for euery stiffe pot-valiant drunkard is a Post , beame , or Piller which holds vp the Brew-house : for as the barke is to the tree , so is a good drinker to a Brewer . But you men of Salisbury , wisely perceiuing how much Euill to your Citie , hath come by the abuse of Good drinke , you would now worke by contraries , to drawe Good for your poore out of these forepassed and present Euils . To drawe euill out of good is deuillish , but to worke or extract goodnesse out of what is euill is godly , and worthy to be pursued . The abuse of good drinke , and excessiue drinking hath made many beggers amongst you , to the inriching of a few Brewers , and now you would turne the world off from the Barrels , as I would off from the Coach-wheeles , that the benefit of your new built Towne Brew-house might relieue many of those poore amongst you , who haue formerly beene impouerished by the inriching of your Towne-Brewers . It is no doubt but they will oppose this good worke of yours , as the Image-makers in Ephesus did Paul , when 〈◊〉 preached against their Idolatrous worshipping Diana ; but be not you discouraged , for Nehemiah ( in time ) did build the Temple , although Sanballat and many others did oppose him , for as your intents are Pious , so no doubt but God will make your euents prosperous . Now to turne from Beere and Ale to faire water , ( your Riuer I meane ) which if it be clensed , then with the profit of your towne-Brewhouse , and the commodity of the Riuer , I thinke there will be scarce a begger or a loyterer to be found amongst you : I haue written enough before concerning the benefit of it , and to encourage such as seeme slow towards so good a worke , which had it beene in the Low-Countries , the Industrious Dutch would not so long haue neglected so beneficiall a blessing , witnesse their aboundance of Nauigable Riuers , and ditches , which with the onely labour of men they haue cut , and in most places , where neuer God or Nature made any Riuer ; and lately there is a Riuer made nauigable to St. Yeades in Huntington-shire , wherein stood seauen Mills as impediments in the way . And now the Citie of Canterbury are cleering their Riuer that Boates may passe to and fro betwixt them and Sandwich hauen : the like is also in hand at Leedes in Yorkeshire ; Now , if neither former or present examples can moue you , if your owne wants cannot inforce you , if assured proffit cannot perswade you , but that you will still be neglectiue and stupid , then am I sorry that I haue written so much , to so little purpose , but my hopes are otherwaies ; 〈◊〉 blinde , lame , and couetous excuses be laid aside , then those who are willing will be more willing , and those who are slacke or backward , will in some reasonable manner drawe forward : And there is the mouth of an vncharitable obiection which I must needs stop , which is an old one , and onely spoken by old men , for ( say they ) we are aged and stricken in yeares , and if we should lay out our moneys , or be at charges for the Riuer , by the course of Nature we shall not liue to enioy any proffit to requite our costs ; this excuse is worse then Heathenish , and therefore it ill becomes a Christian , for as I wrote before , man was not created , or had either the goods of minde , body , or Fortune bestowed on him by his Maker , but that he should haue the least part of them himselfe , his God , Prince and Countrie , claiming ( as their due ) almost all which euery man hath . The oldest man will purchase land , which is subiect to barrennesse , and many inconueniences , he will buy and build houses , which are in danger of fire , and diuers other casualties , he will aduenture vpon Wares or goods at high prises , which to his losse may fall to lowe rates : he will bargaine for cattell and Sheepe , who are incident to many diseases , as the Rot , the Murraine , and diuers the like , and all this will he doe in hope to raise his state , and leaue his heires rich ; at his death perhaps ( when hee can keepe his goods no longer , when in spight of his heart he must leaue all ) he will giue a few Gownes , and a little money to Pious vses , a Groce or two of penny loaues , and there 's an end of him , so that there remaines no more memory of him . But this good worke of your Riuer is not subiect to barrennesse or sterilitie , but contrarily it will be a continuall haruest of plenty , it is not in danger of being consumed , or wasted , but it is assured of a perpetuall encrease . The names and memories of contributors towards it , shall be conserued in venerable and laudable remembrance , to the eternizing of their fames , the honour of their posterities , and the good example of succeeding times to imitate . Therefore you men of Salisbury I entreate you in this case to be good to your selues . Or else you may say hereafter , If we had beene Industrious we had beene happy : If we had not beene couetous , wee had beene Rich. Now , to returne to my trauels and entertainements : as I passed vp the Riuer at the least 2000. Swans like so many Pilots swam in the deepest places before me , and shewed me the way : When I came to the Towne of Ringwood ( 14 miles short of Salisburie ) . I there met with his Maiesties Trumpeters , and there my fellows Mr. Thomas Vnderhill , and Mr. Richard Stocke , Mr. Thomas Ramsey , Mr. Randall Lloyd , with others , which I name not , did walke on the banke and gaue me two most excelent flourishes with their Trumpets , for the which I thanke them in print , and by word of mouth . At last I came to a Towne called Forthing Bridge , where ( not many dayes before ) a grieuous mischance hapned , for two men being swimming or washing in the Riuer , a Butcher passing ouer the bridge ( with a Mastiffe Dogge with him ) did cast a stone into the water and say a Duck , at which the Dog leapd into the Riuer and seasd vpon one of the men and kild him , and the Butcher leaping in after thinking to saue the man , was also slaine by his owne Dog , the third man also hardly escaping , but was likewise bitten by him . From thence I passed further , to a place called Hale , where we were welcommed by the Right Worshipfull Sir Thomas Penrudduck Knight , whom we carried there in our Boate , and who I am assured will be a forward and a liberall Benefactor towards cleering of the Riuer . So passing on our course by the Villages of Burgate , Breamer , Chartford , Downton , and Stonelye , we came at last to Langfoord , where we were well entertained by the Right Honourable the Lord Edward Gorge , ( Lord barron of Dundalke , and Captaine of his Maiesties strong and defencible Castle of Hurst , in Hantshire ) to whom in loue and duty we profferd the gift of our tattered windshaken and weatherbeaten Boate , which ( after our being at Salisbury , being but two miles from thence ) his Lordship accepted . And though he knew she was almost vnseruiceable , yet his noble bounty was such , that he rewarded vs with the price of a new Boate. I had some conference with his Honour concerning the impediments and clensing of the Riuer , and I know he is most forwardly and worthily affected towards it , and no doubt if it be pursued , that then he will doe that which shall become a Gentleman of his Honourable calling and Ranke . So on the same Friday at night we came to Salisbury where we brought our Boate through Fisherton Bridge , on the West side of the Citie , taking our lodging at the signe of the Kings head there , with mine Host Richard Estman , whose brother Thomas , was one of the Watermen which came in the Boate thither from London ; on the morrow I with my company footed it two miles to Wilton , where at the Right Honourable the Earle of Pembrooks , my Lord Chamberlaines house , I was most freely ( and beyond my worth and merit ) kindely welcommed , by the Right Worshipfull Sir Thomas Morgan Knight , with whom I dined , and by whose command I was shewed all or the most part of the admirable contriued Roomes , in that excellent , and well built house , which Roomes were all richly adorned with Costly and sumptuous hangings ; his Maiestie some few dayes before hauing dined there with most magnificent Entertainment , as did expresse the loue of so noble a House-keeper for so Royall a Guest : vpon the sight of which house with the Furniture , I wrote these following verses . If Wholsome Ayre , Earth , woods , & pleasant springs Are Elements , whereby a house is grac'd : If strong and stately built , contentment brings , Such is the house at Wilton , and so plac'd . There Nature , Art , Art-Nature hath embrac'd ; Without , within , belowe , aloft compleate : Delight and state , are there so enterlac'd With rich content , which makes all good , and great The Hangings there , with Histories repleate Diuine , profane , and Morrall pleasures giuing With worke so liuely , exquisite , and neate , As if mans Art , made mortall creatures liuing . In briefe , there all things are compos'd so well , Beyond my pen to write , or tongue to tell . Then was I shewed a most faire and large Armorie , with all manner of prouision and Furnitue , for Pike , Shot , Bills , Halberts , Iauelins , with other Weapons and munition , which for goodnesse , number , and well-keeping , is not second to any Noblemans in England : Afterwards I went to the Stables , and saw my Lords great Horses , whom I saw such and so good , that what my vntutour'd Pen cannot sufficiently commend , I am forced with silence to ouerpasse . But amongst the rest , the paines and industrie of an ancient Gentleman Mr. Adrian Gilbert , must not be forgotten , for there hath he ( much to my Lords cost and his owne paines ) vsed such a deale of intricate Setting , Grafting , Planting , inocculating , Rayling , hedging , plashing , turning , winding , and returning circular , Trianguler , Quadranguler , Orbiculer , Ouall , and euery way curiously and chargeably conceited : There hath he made Walkes , hedges , and Arbours , of all manner of most delicate fruit Trees , planting and placing them in such admirable Artlike fashions , resembling both diuine and morrall remembrances , as three Arbours standing in a Triangle , hauing each a recourse to a greater Arbour in the midst , resembleth three in one , and one in three : and he hath there planted certaine Walkes and Arbours all with Fruit trees , so pleasing and rauishing to the sense , that he calls it Paradise , in which he plaies the part of a true Adamist , continually toyling and tilling . Moreouer , he hath made his Walkes most rarely round and spacious , one Walke without another , ( as the rindes of an Onion are greatest without , and lesse towards the Center ) and withall , the hedges betwixt each Walke are so thickly set , that one cannot see thorow from the one walke , who walkes in the other : that in conclusion , the worke seemes endlesse , and I thinke that in England it is not to be fellowed , or will in hast be followed . And in loue which I beare to the memory of so industrious and ingenious a Gentleman , I haue written these following Annagrams . Adryan Gilbert , Annagrams Art redily began A breeding tryal . Art redily began a breeding tryal When she inspir'd this worthy Gentleman For Natures eye , of him tooke full espiall , And taught him Art , Art redily began , That though Dame Nature , was his Tuteresse , he , Out-workes her , as his workes apparent be . For Nature brings but earth , and seeds and plants , Which Art , like Taylers , cuts and puts in fashion : As Nature rudely doth supply our wants , Art is deformed Natures reformation . So Adryan Gilbert , mendeth Natures features By Art , that what she makes , doth seem his creatures . THus with my humble thankes to Sir Thomas Morgan , and my kinde remembrance to all the rest of my Lords Seruants there , My legges and my labouring lynes returne againe to Salisbury , and from the next day ( being Sunday ) to Langford to my Lord Gorge his house , with whō I dined , & left my humble thanks for the reckoning . In briefe , my fruitlesse and worthy lip-labour , mixt with a deale of Ayrie , and non-substantiall matter I gaue his Lordship , and the like requitall I bestowed on the right Worshipfull M. Thomas Squibb , Mayor of Sarum , with M. Banes , M. Iohn Iuy , M. Windouer , with all the rest ; and more then thankes , and a gratefull remembrance of their Honourable , Worshipfull , and friendly fauours , I know they expect not , and lesse then such a common duty as Gratitude I must not , or cannot pay . To shut vp all in few words , I know his Maiesties pious inclination is so ample , that he will be graciously pleased with any of your laudable endeuours for your welfare and commodity , if you take good and speedy aduice , then no doubt but the effects will be according to your honest intendments . So farewell Salisbury till we meete againe , which I hope will be one day : in the meane space I pray thee take this poore Pamphlet as a louing pledge of my returne . Me thinks I see already , Men , Horses , Carts , Mattocks , Shouels , Spades , Wheelebarrowes , Handbarrowes , and Baskets at worke for the clearing of your Riuer : But if my thoughts doe deceiue me , and my expectation faile , I shall euer hereafter giue small credit to their intelligence . So once more Salisbury I wish thee thankfully well to fare . On Thursday the 21. of August , I tooke Winchester in my way homewards ; where I saw an ancient Citie , like a body without ● soule : and I know not the reason of it , but for aught which I perceiued , there were almost as many Parishes as people . I lodged at the signe of the Cock , being recommended to the Host of the house , by a token from Salisbury , but mine Host dyed the night before I came , and I being weary , had more minde to goe to bed then to follow him so long a iourney , to doe my messuage , or deliuer any commendations : but the whole Citie seemed almost as dead as mine Host , and it may be they were all at Haruest worke : but I am sure I walked from the one end of it to the other , and saw not 30. people of all sorts : So that I thinke if a man should goe to Winchester for a Goose , he might lose his labour for a Trader cannot liue there , by venting such commodities . On Friday I gallop'd a foote pace one and twenty miles , from Winchester to Farneham ; where I and one of my company hired a couple of Hampshiere Ienets with seauen legs , and three eyes betwixt them , vpon whom wee hobled seauenteene miles , to Stanes , whence on Saturday the 23. of August we footed it to Brentfoord , and Boated it to LonDON . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13478-e240 Any Ra● that eats Pye , is a Py●rat . When past down the Riuer there was not any Post or Horne there , bu● since it is most worthily Repaired . All estates or degrees doe either loue or feare this Hauen . * His name is Arthur Bray a Waterman of Lambeth , & a good Markman . * We were fiue men & two of vs were afraid two were not afraid , and I was halfe afraid . The right Ho : the Lo : Zouch Lord Warden of the Cinque ports . No dwelling within neere three miles of those Cottages . The towns name is Lydd , two miles from Rumney in Kent . Our beds were Cables and Ropes euery feather at the least 20. fatham long . I walk'd to Winchelsey , where I thanke my Couzin Mr. Collins , the Mayor there , he made me kindely welcome . The Mayors name was Mr. Richard Boyse , a Gentleman whose laudable life , and honest gouernment is much beloued and aprou'd . * Mathew Figge , a right good fellow . * Men should consider why God hath giuen them a being in this life . No man is owner of himselfe . Here is an honest course set downe for the inriching of your rich , and the relieuing of your poore . His name is Gregory Bastable , and his ordinary place where he plyes , or attends his labour , is at the Temple , and there also plyes Thomas Estman another Wiltshire man , which went with me . Some make a profit of quarelling , some picke their lyuings out of contentions & debate , some thriue and grow fat by gluttonie : many are brauely maintained by Bribery , theft , cheating , roguery , & villany : but put all these together , and ioyne to them all sorts of people else and they all in generall are drinkers , and consequently the Brewers Clients and Customers . Let these Lines be considered if I lye or not . Let these Lines be considered if I lye or not . Tobyah . Arabians . Amonites . Not a Tree stands there , but it beares one good or rare fruit or other . A round worke is endlesse , hauing no end . I touch not the matchlesse adioyning wood and walkes of Rowlington here , whose praises cōsists in it selfe , my pen being insufficient . 
A13482	----	The olde, old, very olde man: or the age and long life of Thomas Par the sonne of John Parr of Winnington in the parish of Alberbury; in the country of Salopp, (or Shropshire) who was borne in the raigne of King Edward the 4th. and is now living in the Strand, being aged 152. yeares and odd monethes. His manner of life and conversation in so long a pilgrimage; his marriages, and his bringing up to London about the end of September last. 1635. Written by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1635 Approx. 33 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 16 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13482 STC 23781 ESTC S102639 99838411 99838411 2787 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13482) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 2787) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1118:15) The olde, old, very olde man: or the age and long life of Thomas Par the sonne of John Parr of Winnington in the parish of Alberbury; in the country of Salopp, (or Shropshire) who was borne in the raigne of King Edward the 4th. and is now living in the Strand, being aged 152. yeares and odd monethes. His manner of life and conversation in so long a pilgrimage; his marriages, and his bringing up to London about the end of September last. 1635. Written by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [16] leaves Printed [by A. Mathewes] for Henry Gosson, London : 1635. Signatures: A-D⁴. Printer's name from STC. With engraved frontispiece (verso of A1, title page). Running title reads: The very old man: or the life of Thomas Parr. In verse. Some print faded and show-through; some pages marked. Reproduction of original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Parr, Thomas, 1483?-1635 -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-09 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-09 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion The Olde , Old , very Olde Man or Thomas Par , the Sonne of Iohn Parr of Winnington in the Parish of Alberbury ; In the County of Shropshire who was Borne in 1483 in The Raigne of King Edward the 4th and is now liuing in The strand , being aged 152 yeares and odd Monethes 1635 Hee dyed Nouember the 15th And is now buryed in Westminster : 1635. The Olde , Old , Very Olde Man : OR The Age and long Life of Thomas Par , The Sonne of Iohn Parr of Winnington in the Parish of Alberbury ; in the Country of Salopp , ( or Shropshire ) who was Borne in the Raigne of King Edward the 4th . and is now living in the Strand , being aged 152. yeares and odd Monethes . His Manner of Life and Conversation is so long a Pilgrimage ; his Marriages , and his bringing up to London about the end of September last . 1635. Written by IOHN TAYLOR . LONDON , Printed for Henry Gosson , 1635. TO THE HIGH AND MIGHTIE PRINCE . CHARLES , By the Grace of God , King of great Britaine , France and Ireland , Defender of the Faith , &c. OF Subjects ( my dread Liege ) 't is manifest , You have the old'st , the greatest , & the least ; That for an Old , a Great , and Little man , No kingdom ( sure ) compare with Britain can ; One , for his extraordinary stature , Guards well your gates , & by instinct of Nature ( As hee is strong ) is Loyall , True , and Iust , Fit , and most able , for his Charge and Trust. The other 's small and well composed feature Deserves the Title of a Pretty Creature : And doth ( or may ) retaine as good a mind As Greater men , and be as well inclin'd : Hee may be great in spir't , though small in sight , Whilst all his best of service , is Delight . The Old'st , your Subject is ; but for my use , I make him here , the Subject of my Muse : And as his Aged Person gain'd the grace , That where his Soveraign was , to be in place , And kisse your Royall Hand ; I humbly crave , His Lives Discription may Acceptance have . And as your Majesty hath oft before Look'd on my Poems ; Pray reade this one more . Your Majesties most Humble Subject and Servant , IOHN TAYLOR . THE OCCASION OF this Old Man's being brought out of Shropshiere to London . AS it is impossible for the Sun to be without light , or fire to have no heate ; so is it undeniable that true Honour is as inseparably addicted to Vertue , as the Steele to the Load-stone ; and without great violence neither the one or the other can be sundred . Which manifestly appeares , in the conveying out of the Countrey , of this poore ancient Man ( Monument I may say , and almost Miracle of Nature . ) For the Right Honorable , Thomas Earle of Arundell and Surrey , Earle Marshall of England , &c. being lately in Shropshiere to visit some Lands and Maners which his Lordship holds in that County , or , for some other occasions of Importance , which caused his Lordship to be there . The Report of this Aged Man was certified to his Honour ; who hearing of so remarkable a Piece of Antiquity , his Lordship was pleased to see him , and in his Innated Noble and Christian Piety , hee tooke him into his charitable tuition and protection ; Commanding that a Litter and two Horses ( for the more easie carriage of a man so enfeebled and worne with Age ) to be provided for him ; Also , that a Daughter-in-Law of his ( named Lucye ) should likewise attend him , and have a Horse for her owne riding with him ; And ( to cheere up the Old Man , and make him merry ) there was an Antique-fac'd-fellow , called Iacke , or Iohn the Foole , with a high and mighty no Beard , that had also a Horse for his cariage . These all were to be brought out of the Countrey to London , by easie Iourneyes ; the Charges being allowed by his Lordship , and likewise one of his Honours owne Servants , named Brian Kelley , to ride on horseback with them , and to attend and defray all manner of Reckonings and Expences ; all which was done accordingly , as followeth . Winnington is a Hamlet in the Parish of Alberbury , neere a place called the Welsh Poole , eight miles from Shrewsbury , from whence hee was carried to Wim , a Towne of the Earles aforesaid ; and the next day to Shefnall , ( a Mannour House of his Lordships ) where they likewise staied one night ; from Shefnall they came to Woolverhampton , and the next day to Brimicham , from thence to Coventry ; and although Master Kelley had much to do to keepe the people off that pressed upon him in all places where hee came , yet at Coventry hee was most opprest : for they came in such multitudes to see the Olde Man , that those that defended him , were almost quite tyred and spent , and the aged man in danger to have bin stifeled ; and in a word , the rabble were so unruly , that Bryan was in doubt hee should bring his Charge no further ; ( so greedy are the Vulgar to hearken to , or gaze after novelties . ) The trouble being over , the next day they past to Daventry , to stony Stratford , to Redburn , and so to London , where he is well entertain'd and accomodated with all things , having all the aforesaid Attendants , at the sole Charge and Cost of his Lordship . One Remarkable Passage of the Old mans Pollicie must not bee omitted or forgotten , which is thus . His three Leases of 63. yeares being expired , hee tooke his last Lease of his Landlord ( one Master Iohn Porter ) for his Life , with which Lease , hee hath lived more then 50. yeares ( as is further hereafter declared ; ) but this Old Man would ( for his wives sake ) renew his Lease for yeares , which his Landlord would not consent unto ; wherefore old Parr , ( having beene long blind ) sitting in his chaire by the fire , his wife look'd out of the window , and perceiv'd Master Edward Porter , the Son of his Landlord , to come towards their house , which she told her husband , saying , Husband , our young Land-lord is comming hither : Is he so , said old Parr ; I prethee wife lay a Pin on the ground neere my foot , or at my right toe ; which , she did ; and when yong Master Porter ( yet forty yeares old ) was come into the house , after salutations between them , the Old Man said , Wife , is not that a Pin which lyes at my foot ? Truly husband , quoth she , it is a Pin indeed , so she tooke up the Pin , and Master Porter was halfe in a maze that the Old Man had recovered his sight againe ; but it was quickly found to be a witty conceit , therby to have them to suppose him to be more lively than hee was , because hee hop'd to have his Lease renew'd for his wives sake , as aforesaid . Hee hath had two Children by his first wife , a Son and a Daughter , the Boyes name was Iohn , and lived but ten weekes ; the Girle was named Ioan , and shee lived but three weekes . So that it appeares hee hath out-lived the most part of the people that are living neere there , three times over . The very Old Man : OR , The Life of Thomas Parr . AN Old man's twice a child ( the proverb saies ) And many old men nere saw halfe his daies Of whom I write ; for he at first had life , When Yorke and Lancasters Domestique strife In her owne bloud had factious England drench'd , Vntill sweet Peace those civil flames had quench'd . When as fourth Edwards Raigne to end drew nigh , Iohn Parr ( a man that liv'd by Husbandry ) Begot this Thomas Parr , and borne was Hee The yeare of fourteen hundred , eighty three . And as his Fathers Living and his Trade , Was Plough , and Cart , Sithe , Sickle , Bill , and Spade ; The Harrow , Mattock , Flayle , Rake , Fork , & Goad , And Whip , and how to Load , and to Vnload ; Old Tom hath shew'd himselfe the Son of Iohn , And from his Fathers function hath not gone . A Digression . YEt I have read of as meane Pedigrees , That have attain'd to Noble dignities Agathocles , a Potters Son , and yet The Kingdome of Sicilia hee did get . Great Tamberlaine , a Scythian Shepherd was , Yet ( in his time ) all Princes did surpasse . First Ptolomey ( the King of AEgypts Land ) A poore mans Son of Alexanders Band. Dioclesian , Emperour , was a Scriveners Son , And Proba from a Gard'ner th' Empire won . Pertinax was a Bondmans Son , and wan The Empire ; So did Valentinian , Who was the off-spring of a Rope-maker , And Maximinus of a Mule-driver . And if I on the truth doe rightly glance , Hugh Capet was a Butcher , King of France . By this I have digrest , I have exprest Promotion comes not from the East or West . To the Matter . SO much for that , now to my Theame againe : This Thomas Parr hath liv'd th' expired Raigne Of ten great Kings and Queenes , th' eleventh now sways The Scepter , ( blest by th' ancient of all days . ) Hee hath surviv'd the Edwards , fourth and fift ; And the third Richard , who made many a shift To place the Crowne on his Ambitious head ; The seventh & eighth brave Henries both are dead , Sixt Edward , Mary , Phillip , Elsabeth , And blest remembred Iames , all these by death Have changed life , and almost ' leven yeares since The happy raigne of Charles our gracious Prince , Tom Parr hath liv'd , as by Record appeares Nine Monthes , one hundred fifty , and two yeares . Amongst the Learn'd , 't is held in generall That every seventh yeare 's Climactericall , And dang'rous to mans life , and that they be Most perillous , at th' Age of sixty three , Which is , nine Climactericals ; but this Man Of whom I write , ( since first his life began ) Hath liv'd of Climactericals such plenty , That he hath almost out-liv'd two and twenty . For by Records , and true Certificate , From Shropshiere late , Relations doth relate , That Hee liv'd 17 yeares with Iohn his Father , And 18 with a Master , which I gather To be full thirty five ; his Sires decease Left him foure yeares Possession of a Lease ; Which past , Lewis Porter Gentleman , did then For twenty one yeares grant his Lease agen : That Lease expir'd , the Son of Lew's call'd Iohn , Let him the like Lease , and that time being gone , Then Hugh , the Son of Iohn ( last nam'd before ) For one and twenty yeares , sold one Lease more . And lastly , he hath held from Iohn , Hugh's Son , A Lease for 's life these fifty yeares , out-run : And till old Thomas Parr , to Earth againe Returne , the last Lease must his owne remaine . Thus having shew'd th'extension of his Age , I 'le shew some Actions of his Pilgrimage . His Marriage . A Tedious time a Batchelour hee tarried , Full eightie yeares of age before he married : His Continence , to question I le nor call , Mans frailtie's weake , and oft doth slip and fall . No doubt but hee in fourscore yeares might find In Salop's Countie , females faire and kind : But what have I to doe with that ; let passe , At th' age aforesaid hee first married was To Iane , Iohn Taylors Daughter ; and 't is said ; That she ( before he had her ) was a Mayd . With her he liv'd yeares three times ten and two , And then she dy'd ( as all good wives will doe . ) She dead , he ten yeares did a Widdower stay ; Then once more ventred in the Wedlock way : And in affection to his first wife Iane , Hee tooke another of that name againe ; ( With whom he now doth live ) she was a widow To one nam'd Anthony ( and surnam'd Adda ) She was ( as by report it doth appeare ) Of Gillsels Parish , in Mountgom'ry-Shiere , The Daughter of Iohn Lloyde ( corruptly Flood ) Of ancient house , and gentle Cambrian Blood. Digression . BVt hold , I had forgot , in 's first wives Time , Hee frayly , fouly , fell into a Crime , Which richer , poorer , older men , and younger , More base , more noble , weaker men , and stronger Have falne into . The Cytherean , or the Paphaean game , That thundring Iupiter did oft inflame ; Most cruell cut-throat Mars layd by his Armes , And was a slave to Loves Inchanting charmes , And many a Pagan god , and semi-god , The common road of lustfull love hath trod : For from the Emp'rour to the russet Clowne , All states , each sex , from Cottage to the Crowne , Have in all Ages ' since the first Creation , Bin folyd , & overthrown with Loves temptation : So was old Thomas , for he chanc'd to spy A Beauty , and Love entred at his eye , Whose pow'rfull motion drew on sweet consent , Consent drew Action , Action drew Content , But when the period of those joyes were past , Those sweet delights were sourely sauc'd at last . The flesh retaines , what in the Bone is bred , And one Colts tooth was then in old Toms head , It may be he was guld as some have bin , And suffred punishment for others sinne ; For pleasures like a Trap , a grin , or snare , Or ( like a painted harlot ) seemes most faire ; But when she goes away , and takes her leave , No ugly Beast so foule a shape can have . Faire Katherin Milton , was this Beauty bright , ( Faire like an Angell , but in weight too light ) Whose fervent feature did inflame so far The Ardent fervour of old Thomas Parr , That for Lawes satisfaction , 't was thought meet , He should be purg'd , by standing in a Sheet , Which aged ( He ) one hundred and five yeare , In Alberbury's Parish Church did weare . Should All that so offend , such Pennance doe , Oh , what a price would Linnen rise unto , All would be turn'd to sheets , our shirts & smocks Our Table linnen , very Porters Frocks Would hardly scape trans-forming , but all 's one , He suffred , and his Punishment is done . Another Passage more of his Life . BVt to proceed , more serious in Relation , He is a Wonder , worthy Admiration , Hee 's in these times fill'd with Iniquity ) No Antiquary , but Antiquity ; For his Longeuity's of such extent , That hee 's a living mortall Monument . And as high Towres , ( that seeme the sky to shoulder ) By eating Time , consume away , and molder , Vntill at last in piece meale they doe fall ; Till they are buried in their Ruines All : So this Old Man , his limbs their strength have left , His teeth all gone , ( but one ) his sight bereft , His sinewes shrunk , his blood most chill and cold , Small solace , Imperfections manifold : Yet still his sp'rits possesse his mortall Trunk , Nor are his senses in his ruines shrunk , But that his Hearing 's quicke , his stomacke good , Hee 'l feed well , sleep well , well disgest his food . Hee will speake heartily , laugh , and be merry ; Drinke Ale , and now and then a cup of Sherry ; Loves Company , and Vnderstanding talke , And ( on both sides held up ) will sometimes walk . And though old Age his face with wrinckles fill , He hath been handsome , and is comely still , Well fac'd , and though his Beard not oft corrected , Yet neare it growes , not like a Beard neglected From head to heele , his body hath all over , A Quick-set , Thick-set nat'rall hairy cover . And thus ( as my dull weake Invention can ) I have Annatomiz'd this poore Old Man. Though Age be incident to most transgressing , Yet Time well spent , makes Age to be a blessing . And if our studies would but daign to look , And seriously to ponder Natures Booke , We there may read , that Man , the noblest Creature , By ryot and excesse doth murder Nature . This man nere fed on deare compounded dishes , Of Metamorphos'd beasts , fruits , fowls , and fishes , The earth , and ayre , the boundlesse Ocean Were never rak'd nor sorrag'd for this Man ; Nor ever did Physician to ( his coast ) Send purging Physick through his guts in post : In all his lifetime he was never knowne , That drinking others healths , he lost his owne , The Dutch , the French , the Greek , and Spanish Grape , Vpon his reason never made a Rape ; For Ryot , is for Troy an Annagram ; And Ryot wasted Troy , with sword and flame : And surely that which will a Kingdome spill , Hath much more power one silly man to kill , Whilst sensuality the Pallat pleases , The body 's fill'd with surfets , and diseases ; By Ryot ( more than War ) men slaughtred be , From which confusion this Old Man is free . He once was catch'd in the Venerall Sin , And ( being punish'd ) did experience win , That carefull feare his Conscience so did strike , He never would againe attempt the like . Which to our understandings may expresse Mens dayes are shortned through lasciviousnesse , And that a competent contenting Dyet Makes men live long , and soundly sleepe in quiet . Mistake me not , I speake not to debar Good fare of all sorts ; for all Creatures are Made for mans use , and may by Man be us'd , Not by voratious Gluttony abus'd . For hee that dares to scandall or deprave Good hous-keeping ; Oh hang up such a Knave ; Rather commend ( what is not to be found ) Then injure that which makes the world renownd . Bounty hath got a spice of Lethargie , And liberall noble Hospitallity Lyes in consumption , almost pin'd to death , And Charity benum'd , neere out of Breath . May Englands few good hous-keepers be blest With endlesse Glory , and eternall Rest ; And may their Goods , Lands , and their hapy Seed With heav'ns best Blessings multiply and breed . 'T is madnesse to build heigh with stone and lime , Great houses , that may seeme the Clouds to clime , With spacious Halls , large Galleries , brave roomes , Fit to receive a King , Peeres , Squires and Groomes ; Amongst which rooms , the devill hath put a Witch in , And made a small Tobacco-box the Kitchin , For Covetousnesse the Mint of Mischiefe is , And Christian Bounty the High-way to Blisse To weare a Farm in shoo-strings , edg'd with gold , And spangled Garters worth a Coppy hold A hose and dublet ; which a Lordship cost , A gawdy cloake ( three Manours price almost ) A Beaver , Band , and Feather for the head , ( Priz'd at the Churches tythe , the poor mans bread ) For which the Wearers are fear'd , and abhorr'd Like Ieroboams golden Calves ador'd This double , treble a god man , I woe , Knowes and remembers when these things were Good wholsome labour was his exercise , Down w th the Lamb , & with the Lark would rise , In myre and toyling sweat hee spent the day , And ( to his Teame ) he whistled Time away ; The Cock his night Clock , and till day was done , His Watch , and chiefe Sun-Diall , was the Sun. Hee was of old Pithagoras opinion , That green cheese was most wholsom ( with an onion ) Course , Mesclin Bread , and for his daily swigg , Milke , Butter-milk , and Water , Whay , and Whigg ; Sometimes Metheglin , and by fortune happie , He sometimes sip'd a Cup of Ale most nappie , Syder , or Perry , when her did repaire T' a Whitson Ale , Wake , Wedding , or a Faire , Or when in Christmas time he was a Guest At his good , Land-lords house amongst the rest Else hee had little leasure Time to waste , Or ( at the Ale house ) huffe-cap Ale to taste . Nor did hee ever hunt a Taverne Fox , Ne're knew a Coach , Tobacco , or the Pox , His Phisicke was good Butter , which the soyle Of Salop yeelds , more sweet than Candy oyle , And Garlick hee esteem'd above the rate Of Venice-Triacle , or best Mithridate . Hee entertain'd no Gowt , no Ache he felt ; The ayre was good , and temp'rat where he dwelt , Whilst Mavisses , and sweet tongu'd Nightingales Did chant him Roundelayes , and Madigals . Thus living within bounds of Natures Lawes , Of his long lasting life may be some cause . For though th' almighty all mans daies do measure , And doth dispose of life and death at pleasure , Yet Nature being wrong'd , mans dayes and date May be abridg'd , and God may tollerate . But had the Father of this Thomas Parr , His Grand-father , and his Great grand-father , Had their lives threds so long a length been spun , They ( by succession ) might from Sire to Son Have been unwritten Chronicles , and by Tradition shew Times mutabillity . Then Parr might say he heard his Father well , Say that his Grand-fire heard his Father tell The death of famous Edward the Confessor , ( Harrold ) and William Conq'rour his successor ; How his Son Robert wan Ierusalem , Ore-came the Sarazens , and Conquer'd them : How Rufus raign'd , and 's Brother Henry next , And how usurping Stev'n this Kingdome vext : How Mawd the Empress ( the first Henries daughter ) To gaine her Right , fill'd England full of slaughter : Of second Henry's Rosamond the faire , Of Richard Cuer-de-lyon , his brave heire , King Iohn , and of the foule suspition Of Arthurs death , Iohns elder Brothers Son. Of the third Henries long raigne ( sixty yeares ) The Barons wars , the losse of wrangling Peeres , How Long-shanks did the Scots & French convince , Tam'd Wales , and made his haples son their Prince . How second Edward was Carnarvon call'd , Beaten by Scots , and by his Queen inthrall'd . How the third Edward , fifty yeares did raigne , And t' honor'd Garters Order did ordaine . Next how the second Richard liv'd and dy'd , And how fourth Henries faction did divide The Realme with civill ( most uncivill ) war Twixt long contending Yorke and Lancaster . How fift Henry swayd , and how his son Sixt Henry , a sad Pilgrimage did run . Then of fourth Edward , and faire Mistrisse Shore , King Edwards Concubine Lord Hastings ( — ) Then how fift Edward , murthered with a trick Of the third Richard ; and then how that Dick Was by seventh Henries slaine at Bosworth field ; How he and 's son th' eighth Henry , here did wield The Scepter ; how sixt Edward swayd , How Mary rul'd , and how that royall Mayd Elizabeth did Governe ( best of Dames ) And Phenix-like expir'd , and how just Iames ( Another Phenix ) from her Ashes claimes The right of Britaines Scepter , as his owne , But ( changing for a better ) left the Crowne Where now 't is , with King Charles , and may it be With him , and his most blest Posterity Till time shall end ; be they on Earth renown'd , And after with Eternity be crown'd . Thus had Parr had good breeding , ( without reading ) Hee from his sire , and Grand sires sire proceeding , By word of mouth might tell most famous things Done in the Raigns of all those Queens and Kings . But hee in Husbandry hath bin brought up , And nere did taste the Helliconian cup , He nere knew History , nor in mind did keepe Ought , but the price of Corne , Hay , Kine , or Sheep . Day found him work , and Night allowd him rest . Nor did Affaires of Stae his braine molest . His high'st Ambition was , A tree to lop , Or at the furthest to a May-poles top , His Recreation , and his Mirths discourse Hath been the Pyper , and the Hobby-horse . And in this simple sort , hee hath with paine , From Childhood liv'd to bee a Child againe . 'T is strange , a man that is in yeares so growne Should not be rich , but to the world 't is knowne , That hee that 's borne in any Land , or Nation , Vnder a Twelve-pence Planet's Domination , ( By working of that Planets influence ) Shall never live to be worth thirteene pence . Whereby ( although his Learning cannot show it ) Hee 's rich enough to be ( like mee ) a Poet. But er'e I doe conclude , I will relate Of reverend Age's Honourable state ; Where shall a young man good Instructions have , But from the Ancient , from Experience grave ? Roboam , ( Sonne and Heire to Solomon ) Rejecting ancient Counsell , was undone Almost ; for ten of twelve Tribes fell To Ieroboam King of Israel . And all wise Princes , and great Potentates Select and chuse Old men , as Magistrates , Whose Wisedome , and whose reverend Aspect , Knowes how and when to punish or protect . The Patriarkes long lives before the Flood , Were given them ( as 't is rightly understood ) To store and multiply by procreations , That people should inhabit and breed Nations . That th' Ancients their Posterities might show The secrets Deepe , of Nature how to know To scale the skie with learn'd Astronomy , And found the Oceans deepe profundity ; But chiefly how to serve , and to obey God , who made them out of slime and clay ; Should men live now , as long as they did then , The Earth could not sustaine the Breed of Men. Each man had many wives , which Bigamie , Was such increase to their Posterity , That one old man might see before he dy'd , That his owne only off-spring had supply'd And Peopled Kingdomes . But now so brittle's the estate of man , That ( in Comparison ) his life 's a span . Yet since the Flood it may be proved plaine , That many did a longer life retaine , Than him I write of ; for Arpachshad liv'd Foure hundred thirty eight , Shelah surviv'd Foure hundred thirty three yeares , Eber more , For he liv'd twice two hundred sixty foure . Two hundred yeares Terah was alive , And Abr'ham liv'd one hundred seventy five . Before Iob's Troubles , holy writ relates , His sons and daughters were at marriage states , And after his restoring , 't is most cleare , That he surviv'd one hundred forty yeare . Iohn Buttadeus ( if report be true ) Is his name that is stil'd , The Wandring Iew , 'T is said , he saw our Saviour dye ; and how He was a man then , and is living now ; Whereof Relations you ( that will ) may reade ; But pardon me , 't is no part of my Creed . Vpon a Germanes Age , 't is written thus , That one Iohannes de Temporibus Was Armour-bearer to brave Charlemaigne , And that unto the age he did attaine Of yeares three hundred sixty one , and then Old Iohn of Times return'd to Earth agen . And Noble Nestor , at the siege of Troy , Had liv'd three hundred yeares both Man and boy . Sir Walter Rawleigh ( a most learned Knight ) Doth of an Irish Countesse , Desmond write , Of seven score yeares of Age , he with her spake : The Lord Saint Albanes doth more mention make That she was Married in Fourth Edwards raigne , Thrice shed her Teeth , which three times came againe . The High-land Scots and the Wilde-Irish are Long liv'd with Labour , hard , and temperate fare . Amongst the Barbarous Indians some live strong And lusty , neere two hundred winters long ? So as I said before my Verse now sayes By wronging Nature , men cut off their dayes . Therefore ( as Times are ) He I now write on , The age of all in Britane hath out gone ; All those that were alive when he had Birth , Are turn'd againe unto their mother earth , If any of them live , and doe replye , I will be sorry , and confesse I lye . For had he bin a Marchant , then perhaps Stormes , Thunderclaps , or feare of Afterclaps , Sands , Rocks , or Roving Pyrats , Gusts and stormes Had made him ( long ere this ) the food of worms , Had he a Mercer , or a Silk-man bin , And trusted much in hope great game to win . And late and early striv'd to get or save His Gray head long ere now had been i' th Grave . Or had he been a Iudge or Magistrate , Or of Great Counsell in Affaires of state Then dayes important businesse , and nights cares Had long ere this , Interr'd his hoary haires : But as I writ before , no cares opprest him , Nor ever did Affaires of State molest him . Some may object , that they will not believe His Age to be so much , for none can give Account thereof , Time being past so far , And at his Birth there was no Register . The Register was ninty seven yeares since Giv'n by th' eight Henry ( that Illustrious Prince ) Th' yeare fifteene hundred fourty wanting twaine And in the thirtieth yeare of that Kings raigne ; So old Parr now , was almost an old man , Neere sixty ere the Register began . I' have writ as much as Reason can require , How Times did passe , how 's Leases did expire ; And Gentlemen o' th County did Relate T' our g●acious King by Their Certificate His age , & how time w th gray haires hath crownd him And so I leave him older than I found him . FINIS . 
A13492	----	A sad and deplorable loving elegy consecrated to the living memory of his best assured friend, the generally beloved, M. Richard Wyan deceased, late his Majesties proctor for the high court of the Admiralty. Who departed this life at his house at Bryl in Buckinhamshire, on Thursday the 16. of August last. 1638. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1638 Approx. 3 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 1 1-bit group-IV TIFF page image. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13492 STC 23790 ESTC S102631 99838403 99838403 2779 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13492) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 2779) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1118:16) A sad and deplorable loving elegy consecrated to the living memory of his best assured friend, the generally beloved, M. Richard Wyan deceased, late his Majesties proctor for the high court of the Admiralty. Who departed this life at his house at Bryl in Buckinhamshire, on Thursday the 16. of August last. 1638. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1 sheet ([1] p.) J. Okes, [London : 1638] Signed: Iohn Taylor. Imprint from STC. Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Wyan, Richard, d. 1638 -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-07 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2002-08 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A sad and deplorable loving Elegy consecrated to the living memory of his best assured friend , the generally beloved , M. Richard Wyan deceased , late his Majesties Proctor for the high Court of the Admiralty . Who departed this life at his house at Bryl in Buckinhamshire , on thursday the 16. of August last . 1638. IT may be good to live , but well to live Is such a Good , as few men can Achieve : The more we live , the more we do offend , The way to Heav'n's a good and speedy end : Th' Almighty Landlord ( who doth all things sway , Doth let mans Soule a Tenement of clay , And Man is no Free-holder , but is still A Tenant only at the Landlords will. They are but Leases , till our Lives expire , And thankes is all the Rent God doth require . And such a one was He , of whom I write , Who liv'd as ever in His makers sight : Who day and night did humbly pay his rent Of thankes and praise for his fraile Tenement . Not only words , but reall deedes declar'd His love , His zeale , obedience and regard He ow'd to God and Man , to each degree His Heart , his Hand , his pen and purse were free . The poore mans Patron in distressed state , The rich mans patterne , how to imitate . Religion was His Pilot , and did steere His course of life , and all his actions here . With courage daily he did Death defie , His heart was fix'd on immortality ; And one good precept , never he forgot , To use the World , as if hee us'd it not . Wherefore th' Almighty ( in His gracious Doome , ) Hath pluck'd him hence , from ills that are to come . The poore have greatest losse , they weeping know , He would not say God helpe , but help'd their woe . The State hath lost a Servant of great Trust , His friends have lost a friend assured , just . His vertuous wife and children , great and small , Brother and sisters , Kin , in generall Have all receiv'd a losse , so great that we Can never hope that it repair'd shal be . But I have lost a friend , beyond a brother , For I nere had , nor shall have such another . But here 's our comfort , though grim Death assail'd him , His Faith , his trust , and confidence nere fail'd him : And though we all have lost him , God hath found him , And with eternall happinesse hath crown'd him . Iohn Taylor . 
A13472	----	A memorial of all the English monarchs being in number 151, from Brute to King Charles. In heroicall verse by Io. Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1630 Approx. 105 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 57 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13472 STC 23774 ESTC S118225 99853433 99853433 18816 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13472) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18816) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1611:15) A memorial of all the English monarchs being in number 151, from Brute to King Charles. In heroicall verse by Io. Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [112] p. : ports. (woodcuts) Printed by Iohn Beale, for Iames Bowler, London : 1630. In verse. Signatures: A-G. The first leaf and the last two leaves are blank. Running title reads: A memoriall of monarchs from Brute to King Charles. Includes bibliography. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. With added frontispiece portrait of King Charles. Some print faded and show-through; some pages creased, torn, and tightly bound. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Great Britain -- Kings and rulers -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-08 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-09 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2002-09 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion CAROLUS STUART . Koningk van Engelandt . Schotlandt , En Irlandt , Gebooren A o. 1600. Binnen Londen onthalst , A o. 1649. in 't 24 Iaer zyner Regeeringe . Ant●… van Dyck pinxit . Ioost Hartgers excud . S. Savery f●●tt A MEMORIAL OF ALL THE English Monarchs being in number 151 , from BRVTE to King CHARLES . In Heroicall Uerse by IO. TAYLOR . LONDON Printed by IOHN BEALE , for Iames Bowler , 1630 ❧ TO THE RIGHT Honourable , LIONEL Lord Viscount Cranefield , Earle of Middlesex , &c. MY humble Muse , in lofty manner sings a A Catalogue of Englands mighty Kings : At first I do begin with Troian BRVTE , And following Chronicles I do dispute , Proceeding briefely with their Raignes and Names , Till these blest dayes of our best Monarch IAMES , T is but an Argument that 's written here , That in such time such and such Princes were : But he that meanes their Actions more to know , May read Boetius , Hollinshed , or Stow , Or our true labouring Moderne Master How , Which Authors , Learned Iudgement do allow : Or if you le see how former times doe runne , Reade the laborious paines of Middleton . We haue had Kings since Brute , of royall Blood , One hundred forty sixe , some bad , some good , Foure Queenes in all , this time did only Raigne , Whose Memories in Histories remaine . So in two thousand and seuen hundred yeeres , We had thrice 50 Princes it appeares . This Kingdome here was fiue times won and lost , And Kings ( as God decreed ) oft chang'd and tost . Sometimes one swaid the Scepter , sometime twaine , And sometime seuen at once did rule and raigne , Till sixe ( by bloudy warres ) lost life and throne , And valiant Egbert ioyn'd them all in one . But since ( through Heauens high prouidence ) I see , T is growne more great , and greater like to be : Long may He liue , by whom in one 't is guided , And may they sinke that wish't againe diuided . Then ( Noble Lord ) with good acceptance take This Poem , for the Royall Subiects sake , And though it be not compleate as it should , Beare with it , and accept of what I could , The matter 's worthy , though the manner poore , VVhich makes me heere your Patronage implore , And may you be externall and internall , Blest and aduanc'd to happinesse eternall . Your Honours in all obseruance to be commanded , Iohn Taylor . Yeeres before Christ. Medulla Historioe Anglicanoe BRVTE , THE FIRST KING OF BRITTAINE , began his Reigne , 1. BRVTE . Anno mundi , 2858. Before Christ , 1108. AENEAS from subuerted Troy exilde , In Tuscan wedded King Lati●…s childe : By whom the Realme of Italy he gain'd , And after he had 3 yeeres fully raign'd , He died , and left Ascanius in his stead : To whom Sil●…s Post●…s did succeed . From which Posthumus Royall loynes did spring , * Great Brutus , Brittaines first commanding King : The people then were ( here ) all voyd of pride , Borne Naked , Naked liu'd , and Naked dy'd . Three Sonnes Brute left , Locrinus was his Heire To England , Cambria ( Wales ) was Cambers share , To Albanact ( the youngest ) 't was his lot , To sway the Scepter of the valiant Scot. Thus 'mongst his Sonnes this Ile he did diuide , And after twenty foure yeeres Reigne he dy'd . Locrine 20. yeeres , 1084. LOcrinus , Eldest of old Brutus Sonnes , By Valour vanquisht the inuading Hunnes : He chas'd them , & their power did quite confound , And their King Humber was in a Humber drownd : This Locrine had a Queene , faire b Guendolin , Yet folly led him to the Paphaean sinne , ●…esotted sence , and blood with lust inflam'd , He lou'd a beautie , Beautious Estrild nam'd , ●…y whom he had a Daughter , Sabrin hight , 〈◊〉 whome the King had whole and sole delight : ●…or which the Queene made war vpon her Lord : ●…nd in the Fight she put him to the Sword ; ●…nd after a reuengefull bloody slaughter , Queene Guendoline tooke Estrild and her daughter , ●…nd drownd them both ( to quēch her ielous flame ) ●…nd so from Sabrine , Seauerne got the name . Q. Guendoline , 1064. About this time Saul was King of Israel . VVHen 15. yeeres this Queen had wisely raign'd , She dy'd , & then her Son the kingdome gain'd . Queene Guendoline was allowed the gouernment in her Sonne Madans minority , whose p●…dent reigne is app●…fully recorded in histories . Madan , 1009. VVHen forty yeers this King had rul'd this Ile , ( As Stories say ) he died a death most vile : The wide-mouth'd Wolfe , and keene-tusk'd brutish Bore Did eate his Kingly flesh , & drinke his gore . Madan was a vicious and wicked Prince , the Sonn●… of Locrine and Guendoline . Hee was a great Tyrant . H●… built the To●…ne of Doncaster . Hee had two ●…nes , Mempricius and Mannus . Mempricius raigned 20. yeeres , 991. MEmpricius base , his brother 〈◊〉 slew , And got the Crowne , by murder , 〈◊〉 as d●…e : Maids , wiues and widdowes , hoby 〈◊〉 deflowr'd : He liu'd a Beast , and dy'd , by a Beast , d●…uour'd . Hee killed his elder brother tre●… sly as ●…ee was parlying with him . Hee was eaten of Wolues as hee was hunting . Hee was so beastly , that he was ta●…din histories to be a Sodomite with Beasts in his time . Ebranke , 989. King Dauid reigne ouer Israe●… AT Edinburgh the Castle he did found , Alcluid & York , he built new from the ground He builded Bambrough , and reigned sixty yeeres , Belou'd , as it in Chronicles appeares . Ebranke had 21. wiues , by whom he had 20. Sonnes and 30. Daughters ; hee inuaded Gallia , now France He was the Sonne of Mempricius . In his Reigne reigne King Salomon . Alcluid is Dumbreton in Scotland . Brute the second , 929. IF any noble act Brute Greeneshield did , Hee 's wrong'd , because from Histories th' are hid : Twelue yeeres he rul'd , that 's all I of him read , And how at Yorke , hee Iyeth buried . This Brute was the Sonne of Ebranke and some histories write doubtfully , that he conquer'd France , and that after he receiued a great foyle in field by Brinchild , or Brinchillus , Prince of Henoway , or Henault . Leil . 917. LEil Carleile b●…t , and raign●…d yeeres twenty fiue , And as Fame still keepes dead mens acts aliue : So Leil ( though dead ) 〈◊〉 euer liue by Fame , He lyes at Carleile , which himselfe did frame . Leil was the Sonne of Brute Greeneshield . It is also written that he bu●… the 〈◊〉 of Chester . Lud , or Rudhudibras was the Sonne of Leil , a religious Prince in ●…s superstitious way of Paganisme , for in these 3. Townes ●…ich he built , hee erected 3. Temples , and placed 3. 〈◊〉 or Pagan Bishops in them . Rudhudibrasse , 892. THis King built Canterbury , Winchester , And Shaftsbury , he from the ground did reare : And after twenty nine yeeres reigne was past , At Winchester sore sicke , he breath'd his last . Bladud reign'd 20. 863. BAathe was by Bladud to perfection brought , By Necromanricke Arts , to flye hee sought : As from a Towre he thought to scale the Sky , He brake his necke , because he soar'd too hig●… This Bladud had beene a st●… in Ather ●…id : whence hee brought ●…ny learned men : hee bui●… elue ford , a Colledge I thinke , the first in England : play the fowle or the foole , he brake his necke on the Temple of Apollo in Troynouant . Leire , 844. LEire ( as the Story saies ) three daughters had , The youngest good , the other two too bad : Yet the old King lou'd thē that wrong'd him most , She that lou'd him , he banisht from his Coast. False Gonorel and Ragan , he betweene Them gaue the Kingdome , making ●…ach a Queene . But young Cordeilla wedded was by chance , To Aganippus , King of fertile France : The eldest Daughters did reiect their Sire , For succour to the young'st hee did retire , By whose iust aide the Crowne againe he gain'd ; And dyed when he full forty yeeres had reign'd . Leire built Leicester and was a good Prince . At Leycester he built a Temple to Ianues Bifrons , or Ianues with two faces . Qu. Cordeilla , 805. MAd Morgan , and vnmanner'd Cunedague , Their Aūt Cordeilla with fierce war did plague : They vanquish'd her , and her in Prison threw : And hauing reign'd fiue yeeres , her selfe she slew . She reigned with her Husband Aganippus till he dyed , and then in her widowhood her cruell kinsmen opprest her . Shee stabb'd her selfe in prison , being tyrannously vsed , in despaire of her liberty . Morgan Cunedagu●… , 800. THen Morgan did 'gainst Cunedague contend , And at Glamorgan , Morgan had his end . Then Cunedagus sole King did abide , Full three and thirty yeeres , and then he dyed . Morgan was the Sonne of Gonorel , Leires eldest Daughter , and Cunedagus his kinsman , was the Sonne of Ragan . The Prophet Esay prophesied about this time . Riuallo , before Christ , 766. THree daies it rain'd blood , when Riuallo reign'd , And great mortalitie the Land sustain'd ; Hee forty six yeeres rul'd in Kingly State , And then surrendred to all humane Fate . This Land in this Kings reigne was almost vnpeopled with dearth , death and desolation . In his time Rome was builded , 356. yeeres after Brute : Innumerable multitudes of Horse-flyes or Hornets sprung out of the blood that raind , which flyes stung many people to death . Riuallo was buried at Yorke . Gurgustus , 7●… . Scicillius , 684. A Common Drunkard was this wicked King , Which vice did many other vices bring , Yeeres thirty eight , the Diadem he wore , Scicillius next raignd nine and forty more . Gurgustus and Scicillius were brethren . I finde little mention of any good they did , though they reigned long : They were both the Sonnes of Riuallo . Iago , 636. 〈◊〉 , 612. OF these two Kings , small mention I doe finde , They left bare Names ( for me hori●… ) behinde ; One twentie fiue yeeres : 〈◊〉 other fifty foure , Had in this Land Commanding Regall power . Iugo was a kinsman to Gurgustus , and by his vicious life , he got a sleepy disease called the Lethargy , whereof he dyed . These two Kings were both buried at Yorke . Gorbodug , 559. GOrbodug next did in the Throne succced , Was sixty three yeeres King , and ●…ast decreed , 'Twixt his two Sonnes this Kingdome to diuide , At Yorke hee 's buried , where in peace hee dy'd . Some write that he reigned but 42. yeeres , and that he was buried at Troynouant . Ferex , and Porex , 496. POrex , in Fight his brother Ferex kil'd , For which their mother , Porex heartblud 〈◊〉 These murthers mercilesse , did quite deface , These Princes , last of Royall Brutus Race . Ferex and Porex were the sonnes of Gorbodug . Their mother and her maides chopped Porex in pieces , in reuenge of her sonne Ferex : they reigned fiue yeeres : after whose death the Land was a long time diuided into fiue Kingdomes . Mulmutius Donwallo . 441. THe Land vnguided , Kinglesse did remaine , Till great Mulmutius did the Wreathe obtaine : He builded Temples , made Lawes , Ploughs , high-waies , And 40. yeeres he liu'd in fame and praise . Mulmutius slew Pinnar , Slater , and Rudack , three Kings of seuerall parts of this I le , and at last brought the Kingdome to his sole obedience . He was the Sonne of ●…lotten , Duke of Cornewall : He was the first of all the Kings of this Land that wore a crowne of Gold. Bellinus and Brennus reigned 26. yeeres . 401. THese brethren did diuide the Realme in twaine , But Kings can brooke no partnership in reigne ; They fell at oddes , and Brennus fled , subdude With slaughter of his warlike multitude . To France he scap'd , and was receiu'd in State , In London , Belline builded Bellins-gate Braue Brennus conquer'd Italy and Rome , Bellinus lies heere in an honour'd Tombe . Brennus slew himselfe with the sword , at the fiedge of Delphos in Greece . Bochas . They were the sonnes of Mulmutius Donwallo . Belinus brought Denmarke to be tributary to Brittaine : they were a paire of worthy brothers . Gurguintus , 373. GVrguintus , was Belinus first-borne sonne , Victorously ●…e Denmarke ouer-runne : He the vnpeopled Ireland did supply , Reign'd nineteene yeeres a King , and then did dye . This King gaue leaue to a company of stragling distressed Spaniards to possesse themselules in Ireland , hee lyeth buried at Carelion . Guinthelinus , 456. HE married Mercia a renowned Dame , From whom the iust , wise , Mercian Statutes came : He sixe and twenty yeeres the Scepter swaide , And then with honour in his Tombe was laide . He was the sonne of Arguintus , he builded Warwick and lyeth buried at London . Cecilius , 330. Kimarus , 223. Seuen yeeres Cecilius kept the Regall Chaire , Three yeeres Kimarus rul'd as his sole Heire ; The Syre with loue did well and iustly reigne , His sonne Kimarus was a hunting slaine . About this time , a sauage people called the Picts , beg'd habitation of the King of Scots , and liued in the Marshes betweene England and Scotland . Kimarus was a vicious Prince , and killed by wild Beasts as hee was hunting : he was the sonne of Cecilius . Cecilius was buried at Carelion . Elanius , 321. ELanius ( as most Histories agree ) Was King of Brittaine yeeres iust three times three : What Acts he did , or what Lawes he decreed , They are vnwrit , and therefore are vnread . Elanius was the sonne of Kimarus . Morindus reigned 8 yeeres . 311. THis King Morindus , valiant more then wise , A ran'ning Monster from the Sea did rise : Which many people to destruction brought , Who kil'd this braue King as he brauely fought . He killed the Monster , after the Monster had deuoured him , for he was in the belly of it liuing , and found dead with his dagger in his hand . Gorbomanus . 303. THis King eleuen yeers wore the Brittain crown . He founded Cambridge , & built Grantham Town ; His subiects peace , past Kingdomes he prefer'd , Lou'd and bewail'd , at London was inter'd . He built the Townes of Cambridge and Grantham . Archigalo , and Elidurus . 392. THese brothers were not Kings both at one time , But for extortion ( an vnkingly crime , The Eldest hauing gaind his Subiects hate ) Depos'd , and Elidurus got the State. But he ( not greedy after worldly reigne ) To Archigalo gaue it vp againe . Rul'd tenne yeeres more : thus twenty yeeres in all , His State Maiesticke , did twice rise and fall . Archigalo put away from him and reiected the true and 〈◊〉 Nobility and Gentry : and in their roomes was ●…pplyde with the counsels of flatterers and parasites , which was his downefall . Elidurus , 272. Vigenius , Peredurus , 270. THen Archigale beeing dead and gone , Good Elidure two yeers kept Brittaines Throne . Vigenius , Peredurus two yeeres more , Thrust Elidure from all the sway he bore , But they both dy'd the third time he was crown'd , Elidurus , 261. And reigned foure yeeres more , belou'd , renown'd . Once subiect , twice a slaue , and thrice a King ; Thus Fortunes fauours vp and downe did fling . In these often changes of Princes estates , this Land was miserably vexed . Heere because Hystories make little or no mention of any the doings of the Kings , from the reigne of Elidurus to King Lud , I thinke it fit , onely to insert their names , and the times of their reignes , with their yeeres before Christ. 258. Gorbonian reigned ten yeeres . 248. Morgan foureteene yeeres . 234. Emerianus seuen yeeres . This King was deposed from all Regall gouernment for h●… tyranny . 227. Iuall twenty yeeres . This King was a iust and prudent Prince . 207. Rimo sixteen yeeres . His reigne was blest with abundance of Peace and Plenty . 191. Geruncius twenty yeeres . 171. Catillus ten yeeres . Catillus caused all the oppressors of the poore to be hanged vp : but since his time they are doubly increased . 161. Coylus twenty yeeres . A peaceable King , and a quiet reigne . 141. Porrex fiue yeeres . A good Prince . 136. Chirimus one yeere . Chirimus through excessiue drinking gat his death . 135. Fulgon two yeeres . 133. Eldred one yeere . 132. Androgius one yeere . 131. Varianus o●…●…re . Varianus giuen ●…to lust , purchsed himselfe a short reigne●… and it may bee perceiued , that all these Prince : either by treason , or their ow●… bad liues , were soon brought to their ends , for 25 of them did not reign●… aboue 62 yeeres . 129. Fliud fiue yeeres . 120. Dedamius fiue yeeres . 118. Gurginius three yeeres . 115. Mercianus two yeeres . 113. Bladunus two yeeres . 110. Cupenus three yeeres . 108. Quinus two yeeres . 106. S●…ius two yeeres . 94. Bledgabredus ten yeeres . A great louer of Musicke , and a good Patron to Musician●… . 92. Archemalus two yeeres . 90. Eldolus two yeeres . 88. Rodianus two yeeres . 86. Redargius three yeeres . 84. Samullius two yeeres . 81. Penisellus three yeeres . 78. Pirrhus two yeeres . 76. Caporus two yeeres . 74. Dinellus foure yeeres . A Noble and vertuous Prince . 70. Hellius one yeere . The I le of Ely tooke the nomination from this Prince . There hee built a Palace , and there he dying was buried . Lud reigned 11. yeeres , 66. A Long time after Troynouant was fram'd , It was by Lud , Kair-Lud , or Lud-stone nam'd , He made 〈◊〉 strong with Battlemen●…s and Towres , Defensiue against foes inuasiue pow'rs . Of free Stone for Free-men Ludgate hee founded , Where freemen ( wanting freedom ) are confounded . He dy'd and left two Sonnes , too young for reigne , Wherefore his brother did the Crowne obtaine . Some Writers doe affirme , that this King b●…ilded ●…ondon from Ludgate to London-stone , and that the stone in memory thereof was called Luds stone . Cassibelan , 17. yeeres . 58. LVd deed , the Nobles crown'd Cassibelan , In whose reigne her●… the Romane conquest ●…an , Great Iulius Caesar sailed out of France , And in this Land his Eagle did aduance . But Brittaines bold scorn'd base at first to stoope , Twice Caesar f●…ed , before their warlike troope . The ●…iuill warres , this Kingdome ouer 〈◊〉 , Betwixt Cassibelan , and Luds two Sonnes , Whilst they ( vnnaturall ) sought each others fall , The Romanes tooke aduantage , conquer'd all : Where Caesar , by his high Imperiall doome , Made Brittaine Tributary vnto Rome . Nennius a valiant Duke of this Kingdome , receiued his de●…ths ●…und of Caesar : Yet after that he tooke Caesars Sword from him , and with the same kil●…d La●…ianus a Romane Tribune , and lastly , ma●… the fi●…ld and 〈◊〉 . Caesar built the Castles of Dou●… , Canterbury , and the Tower of London . Theomantius , 37. THen Theomantius ( 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 all blood ) The 〈◊〉 Sonne 〈◊〉 o●… his Father 〈◊〉 : Reign'd three and twenty yeeres , a King in 〈◊〉 Whose Picture stands on Luds 〈◊〉 gate . Cimbelinus . IN this Kings reigne , ( the glorious King of Kings In person came , and mans saluation brings ) When through the world all bloody wars did cease , ( For our soules peace ) then came the Prince of peace . Our Sauiour Iesus Christ was borne in his reigne , in the 42. yeere of Augustus Caesar , then being Emperour of Rome : Cimbelinus was the Sonne of Iheomantius , Yeeres after Christ. Guiderius , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , 21. THis King and Sub●…cts , brauely , nobly ioyne , To hold from Rome the tributary Coyne : But Claudius Caesar with an Army came , The B●…t bold rebellious hearts to tame ; One Hamon there ( a Romane ) di●… 〈◊〉 , Himselfe like to a Britaine to 〈◊〉 , Guiderius brauely cha●…de his fo●…s amaine , Was by disg●…ifed Hamon falfely slaine . When Guiderius was King of Britaine , our Redeemer suffered vnder Claudius Tiberius Caesar , being the Romane Emperour . Guiderius was a valiant Prince . Aruiragus , 44. STout Aruiragus being in the fight , The Kings death added fury to his might : Perceiu'd the Britaine Host , almost dismaide , In 's brothers Armour hee himselfe array'd , The Souldiers thought the King againe suruiu'd . With co●…rage new through euery veine deriu'd , Braue Aruiragus , like a Tempest goes , And pell mell topsieturuy throwes his foes . Grear Caesar with his Romane army fled , The King tooke Hamon , and cut off his head , And more , with sharp reuenge his wrath t' appease , Hew'd him piece-meale , and cast him in the Seas , The place long time , this name did then allow , Of Hamons hauen , or Southampton now . The Emperour would quite the tribute free , If Brittaines King his Sonne in law would be . Then Aruarigue did faire Genisse marry , And Claudius Caesar heere a while did tarry , He builded Gloster , whil'st he heere remain'd : The King dyed hauing twenty eight yeeres reign'd . Marius , 73. IN this Kings reigne the lawlesse proling Pict , ( A Nation strange ) did the North part afflict : But Marius , in a battell slew their King , And all their power did to subiection bring . The Picts from Scythia , into Scotland came , Rude , barbarous , ingratefull , hard to tame : For by the Scotsh Kings fauour hauing got Possession , they oft warr'd vpon the Scot. And more and more that Kingdome they annoy'd , Till Kennith Scotlands King , them all destroy'd : Yeeres fifty three reign'd Marius iust and wise , Dyed : and at Carleile his Corps royall lies . Much about this time , Ioseph of Arimathea , after he had buried Christ ( being hated for it of the mis-beleeuing Iewes ) came into this Land , and first planted Christianity heere , built a Chappell at Glastenburgh : Some writers say , that he repaired Chester , and was buried there . Coylus , 124. IN Rome this King was fostred all his youth , He lou'd Peace , Iustice , Fortitude and Truth : He builded Colchester , and did suruiue , Till he had reign'd a Kings yeeres , fifty fiue . Coylus was the Sonne of Marius , hee was buried at Yorke . Lucius , 179. THe first of Kings that was a Christian nam'd , Was Lucius ( with the spirit of God inflam'd ) The Bread of life he did receiue with ioy , The Pagan Idols hee did all destroy , The Flamines and Archflamines he downe cast , And Bishops and Archbishops here he plac'd , He lou'd and fear'd th' eternall Three in one , And dyed when he had 12 yeeres kept the Throne . This was the first Christian King of Brittaine , he caused twentie eight Idolatrous Temples of the ●…agan gods to be made Cathedrall Churches , for the seruice of the 〈◊〉 God ; Elutherius was then Bishop of Rome , King Lucius was buried at Glocester : hee dyed leauing no 〈◊〉 , so that this Land was in a burly-burly 15. yeeres , through want of a King. Seuerus , 194. THis was a Romane Emperour , and was slaine At York the eighteenth yeere of his proud reigne●… Hee was an Alien and a stranger heere , And therefore bought his vsurpation deare : Seuerus was 60. yeeres old when hee tooke the crowne , and caused a wall of Turfe to be made betwixt England and Scotland to kepe this Land from the incursions of the Scots and Picts : the wall reached from Tyne to the Scottish Seas , 112. miles . Bassianus , 212. SEuerus here did wed a Brittish Dame , By whom this King ( their Son ) the Crowne did claime . But after sixe veeres time , he left this Land , And had the Romane Empire at 's command . Bassianus was brought from Rome by his Father Seuerus . Carausius , 290. When Carausi●… reigned , Dioclesian was ●…mperor . Alectus , 292. THis King ( of meane birth ) did the Crown attain After seuen yeeres , was by Alectus slaine : Thre yeeres Alectus did in state recide , Our Protomartyr then Saint Alban dyde . Dioclesian and Maximilian ruled the Romane Empire , when Saint Albane suffered ; Alectus was sent from Rome against Carausius : this Alectus was a cruell Tyrant , and was also slame by Asclepiodatus . Asclepiodatus , 299. ASclepiodatus , ( in a mortall Fight ) Suodude the Romane Generall Gallus might , Kil'd him , and cast him head-long in a Brooke , Whence Gallus or Wallbrooke , for name it tooke , And as Alectus did Carausius kill , So did this King Alectus life bloud spill , And after two yeeres reigne in mortall strife , Asclepiodatus slaine lost Crowne and life . Gallus Brooke or Wallbrooke tooke the name from Gallus a Romane Captaine , slaine by Asclepiodatus , and throwne into that Brooke . Asclepiodatus was after slaine by Coil Duke of Colchester . Some write that Asclepiodatus reigned 30. yeeres . Coil raigned 14. yeeres . 301. COlchesters Duke Coil in the Throne inuested , Was by Constantius Caesar much molested : Till Coil gaue's Daughter to him for his Bride , And paid Romes tribute , that was long denide . The Lady was of beauty most diuine , Faire Hellen , Mother to great Constantine . The King at Colchester , dead , laide in 's Tombe , His Sonne Constantius did supply his roome . This Hellen reedified Ierusalem , and adorned it with ●…oodly Churches . She also walle●… London and Colchester . Constantius , 305. SPaine , Italy , France , Britaines Emperor , Foure yeeres he raign'd heere , with Maiesticke power , True Honour was the ayme at which he shot . Iust , Valiant , these reports his Actions got . This Constantius was Grandfather to Constantine the Great : he came from Rome to this I le , and was buried at Yorke . Constantine , 306 , GReat Emp'ror Constantine , surnam'd the Great : In all respects a worthy Prince compleate , The glorious Gospell , he ador'd , and fear'd , Constantinople famously he rear'd , Maxentius , Romes great Tyrant , ( most abhor'd ) He made him flie from his 〈◊〉 sword . Belou'd , be wail'd , high honor'd and admir'd , In grace with God and men , his dayes expir'd . This worthy Prince Constantine was borne in this Land , the Sonne of Constantius and Hellen. After Constantius decease , our Land was molested by Octauius Maximus and others for many yeers . These times are so diuersly written of in Histories , that a man knowes not which to beleeue most . 84. Constantinus , 337. 85. Constans , 340. THese two were Brothers of the Royall line , And Sonnes vnto the Emperour Constantine : Ambition and debate for Kingly Raigne , Was the vnnaturall cause they both were slaine . Kings and Louers can brook no partners : for these two brothers were each others destruction . 86. Octauius , 345. 87. Traherus , 349. OCtauius Duke of Windsor to oke the Crowne , Traherus came from Rome and put him downe : The Land was ●…ull with hurly-burlies fild , Traherus by Octtauius last was kild . Theodosius was Emperour of the East ●…d Macri●… of the West : Some write that Octauius 〈◊〉 54. yeeres Noncredo . 88. Constantius the third . 353. The Romane Empire he did closely sway , And as a King this Land did him obay : Th' Apostate Iulian was the Emp'rour next , By whom the Christians all were slaine , or vext . Constantius was a victorious Prince , and triumphed in Rome : yet a cruell oppressor , and an Arian hereticke . 89 Maximinianus . 375. NExt Iulian , raigned Valentinian , And after him , succeeded Gratian Maximi●…nus was of life depriu'd , 'Cause he with Gratian for the Empire striu'd . How like Bauius these tyr●…ts confi●…med one another ; these were all Emperours of Rome , & Kings of Brittaine , 90. Gratian. 376. THen Gratian claim'd this Kingdome as his right●… But hauing gain'd it , he was slaine in fight : Fierce warres the Romane Empire did deuide , And Caesars and their Viceroyes fought and dyde . Honorius Romes Tribunall did obtaine , Next after him did Theodosius raigne , Then did the Scot ioyne with the barbarous Pict , This headlesse , Kinglesse Kingdome to afflict . The Romane Scepter we had long obayd , Foure hundred eightythree yeeres Tribute payd ; And now this land shook off their wrongd comand When Ciuill discord had neer spoyl'd this Land. In one battell the whole nation of the Piets were quite ●…xtinguished about this time the Romanes g●…uernement ●…nded here . Gratian was a Brittaine Emperour but foure 〈◊〉 . 91 Vortiger . 447. THis King through murder did the Throne ascend , And had a troublous Raigne , and murdrous end : Constanes ( Constantines ) lawfull Heyre and Sonne , By Vortigers false meanes to death was done . For which ( to keepe the Crowne vniustly gain'd ) The Saxons for his ayde he entertain'd . Then Hengist , with his Brother Horsus crue , In Britaines best bloud did their blades embrew . King Vortiger with doting loue inthral'd , Match't Hengists daughter , beauteous Rowan cal'd : But Saxons troopes , on troopes came in so fast , That Britaines did depriue the King at last . Hee murdered his lawfull Prince , and vsurping the Throne , was enforced to haue ayd of the Saxons , who at the last almost ouer-ran this Kingdome , but the Brittaines deposed Vortiger , and crowned his Sonne Vortimer . 92. Vortimer . 454. THen a Vortimer , the Sonne of Vortiger , Vpon the Saxons made successfull warre : Till he by Rowan was by craft o'r-●…ane , From whose false hands , he dy'd by poys'nous 〈◊〉 Deposed Vortiger ( his Sonne once slaine ) His ill gain'd , ill kept Crowne he gain'd againe : Hengistus with his Saxon fresh supplies , The Plaines of Salisbury did all surprize . The King tooke counsell of his Brittaine Lords , And all in generall to a Peace accords . The Saxons and the Brittaines did agree , That at this meeting all vnarm'd should be : But traitrous Hengist did a watch-word speake , Which did the Law of Armes , and Honour breake , The Saxons vnsuspected drew forth Kniues , Foure hundred , threescore Lords , all lost their liues , All Brittaine Nobles , then the Saxons there , Surpris'd the King , constraining him through feare To giue Kent , Sussex , Suffolke , Norfolke , and That Hengist , King should in those Lands command , But after nineteene yeeres were quite expir'd , * Reuenging Fire , the King in 's Castle fir'd . And thus the Saxons , and Great Hengists Heyres , Won Shire to Shire , till Brittaine all was theirs . 93. Aurelius Ambrose . 466. IN honour of the Nobles basely slaine , This King set vp the Ston●…s on Saru●… 〈◊〉 The Gospell with great zeale he dignifi'd , Raign'd thirty two yeeres , and by poyson dy'd . This King was a Rom●…ne , and brother to Vter Pendragon that succeeded him . 94. Vter Pendragon raigned 18 yeeres . 498. THis King ( by Merlins meanes a skilfull man ) Igrene , the Duke of Cornewals Dutchesse wan : On her he got , ( though illegittimate ) The Christian Worthy , Arthur , stilde the Great . Vter Pendragon poysoned by the Saxons , after he had reigned 18. yeeres . 95. Arthur . 516. OF the nine Worthies was this Worthy one , Denmarke , and Norway , did ●…y his Throne : In twelue set Battels he the Saxons beat , Great , and to make his Victories more great , The Faithlesse Sarazons he ouercame , And made them honour high Iehonah's Name . The Noble order of the Table round , At Winchester , his first inuention found . Whilst he beyond Sea fought to win Renowne , His Nephew Mordred did vsurpe his Crowne , But he return'd , and Mordred did confound , And in the fight great Arthur got a wound , That prou'd lo mortall , that immortally It made him liue , although it made him dye . Full sixteene yeeres the Diadem he wore , And euery day gaind Honour more and more . Arthur the great was buried at Glastenbury . 96 Constantine , the fourth . 542. 97 Aurelius Conanus . 545. COnstantine was by King 〈◊〉 kil'd : Aurelius ( 〈◊〉 ) 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 yeeres held , Seuen Kingdomes heere at once the Saxons held , And slaughter launc'd , when proud ambition sweld . This Constantine was kinsman to King Arthur , and was slaine by Conanus . Constantine was a wicked Prince , and slaine in battell by his kinsman Conanus , when he had reigned neere 3. yeeres . Of the tyme of this Aurelius Conanus his reigne , there is much variation in Histories . Heere beganne the Heptarchy , or 7 Kingdomes in this Land , namely , Kent , South-Saxons , West-Saxons , East-Saxons , Northumberland , Mercia , and East-Angles : which diuision continued more then 600. yeeres , before it was all vnited into one Monarchy the names of the Kings , & times of their reignes , and limits of their Kingdomes , are hereunder expressed . 1 KEnt was only a kingdome which had 17 Kings , namely , 1 Hengist , 2 Eske , 3 Octa , 4 Ymerick , 5 Ethelbert , who was the first Christian King of Kent , hee was an ayde and helper of Sebert , King of the East-Saxons , in the famous and memorable buildings of S t. Pauls Church in London , and Saint Peters at Westminster . 6 Eabald , 7 Ercombert , 8 Egbert , 9 Lother , 10 Edrick , 11 Withred , 12 Edbert , 13 Edelbert , 14 Alick , 15 Ethilbert , 16 Cuthred , 17 Baldred . These Kings reigned in Kent 372. yeeres , from the yeere of Grace 455. till the yeere 827. 2 The kingdome of the South-Saxons contained the Counties of Sussex and Surrie , it continued from the yeere 488. vntill the yeere 601. being 113 yeeres : they had three Kings , namely , 1 Ella , 2 Cissa , 3 Ethelwolfe a Christian King , 4 Berthrum , 5 Authum . 3 The West-Saxons kingdome , whose beginning was in the yeer 519. and ended , Anno. 166. lasted 561 yeeres , hauing 17 Kings , namely , 1 Cherdick , 2 Kenrick , 3 Chequilin , 4 Cealick , 5 Chelwold , 6 Kingils , a Christian , 7 Kenwald , 8 Eskwin , 9 Kentwin , 10 Ceadwald , 11 Inas , 12 〈◊〉 , 13 Cuthred , 14 Sigebert , 15 Kenwolfe , 16 Brightrik , 17 Egbert , : These Kings had vnder their gouernments , the Counties of Cornewall , Deuonshire , Somersetshire , Wiltshire , Hampshire and Barkshire . 4 The East-Saxons reigned 281 yeeres , beginning , Anno. 527 , and ending in the yeere 827. Their bounds were Essex and Middle-Sex , and their Kings were in number 14 , namely , 1 Erchenwin , 2 Sledda , 3 Sebert a Christian King , that assisted Ethelbert , King of Kent , in the building of the Churches of Saint Paul and Saint Peter aforesaid . 4 Seward , 5 Sigebert , 6 Sigibext , 7 Switheline , 8 Sighere , 9 Sebba , 10 Sigherd , 11 Seofrid , 12 Offa , 13 Selred , 14 Suthred . 5 Northumberland was sometimes diuided into two kingdomes . It contained the Coūties of Yorkshire , Durham , Lancashire , Westmerland , Cumberland and Northumberland : this Kingdome beganne in the yeere of our Lord , 547. and expired in 926. continuing 379. yeeres vnder 23 Kings , whose names were , 1 Ella , 2 Adda , 3 Theodwald , 4 Frethulse , 5 Theodrick , 6 Ethelrick , 7 Ethelfrid , 8 Edwin , 9 Oswald , 10 Oswy , 11 Egfrid , 12 Alkfrid , 13 Ofred , 14 Kenred , 15 Oswicke , 16 Ceolnuph , 17 Egbert , 18 Oswolfe , 19 Edilwald , 20 Alured , 21 Ethelred , 22 Alswald , 23 Osr●…d . Amongst these , Edwin was their first Christian King. 6 The East Angles vnder 15 seuerall Kings , continued 353 yeeres , beginning in Anno , 575. and 〈◊〉 III 914. their Territories were Su●… Nor●…olk , Cambridgeshire and the I le 〈◊〉 , Ely , th●…ir Kings names were , 1 Vffa , 2 Ti●…us , 〈◊〉 Red●…ald their first Christian King , 4 〈◊〉 , 5 Sigebert , 6 Egrik , 7 Anna , 8 Ethelbert , 9 Ethwald , 10 Aldwol●…e , 11 Aswald , 12 Beorn , 13 Ethelred , 14 Ethelbert , 15 Edmund . 7 The seuenth Kingdome were the Mercians , who had 20 Kings and 17 shires vnder their command : their Kings were , 1 Creda , 2 Wibba , 3 Cheorle , 4 Penda , 5 Peada their first Christian King , 6 Wolfere , 7 Ethelred , 8 Kenred , 9 Chelred , 10 Ethebald , 11 Offa , 12 Egfrid , 13 Kenwolfe , 14 Kenelme , 15 Chelwolse , 16 Bernulfe , 17 Ludecan , 18 Whitlafe , 19 Bertwolfe , 20 Burdred . Their bounds and dominions were 17 Counties , as of Northampton , Leister , Darby , Lincolne , Huntington , Rutland , Notingham , Chesshire , Oxfordshire , Staffordshire , Worcestershire , Glostershire , Shropshire , Warwickeshire , Bedfordshire , Buckinghamshire , and Hartfordshire . 98 Vortiporus . 578. 99 Malgo. 581. THis Vortipore from good Kings did decline , Kept his wiues Daughter as his Conc●…ine : And Malgo put his Wife to bloudy slaughter , To liue in ●…ncest with his brothers Daughter . About this time Augustine the Monke , Mellitus , Iustus and Iohn , all learned men , came from Rome , and preached the Gospell to the English men . Vortipore reigned 4. yeeres . Malgo , his raigne was short and wicked . 100. Careticus . 586. GVrmundus hither out of Ireland came , And with the Saxons ioyn'd with sword and flame : The King to Wales did flye , his life to saue , Whereas he chang'd his Kingdome for a Graue . He reigned 3. yeeres : and now the Saxons had all England , the Brittaines and their Kings being expulsed and chased to the West sides of the Riuers Seauerne , and d ee . Cadwane . 613. THis Cadwane did the Saxon force withstand , Of Ethelfridus of Northumberland : And made him to intreate and sue for peace : Raign'd two and twenty yeeres , then did decease . 102. Cadwallin . 635. CAdwallin slew King Edwin , Egfrids Sonne , He Penda Mercias King did ouer-runne : He neuer fought but Conquest home did bring , And eight and forty yeeres did raigne a King. Cadwallin was buried at London in Saint Martins Church neere Ludgate . 103. Cadwallader . 685. THis King renowned was both neere and farre , The last of Brittaines Kings , Cadwallader , The name of Brittaine was quite alterd then , The Kings of England , subiects , Englishmen . Then in this Land , of Kings there raign'd so many , That Subiects knew not to obey all , or any : Their names and times of raigne I meane to tell , Should I write more , my Book too big would swell . Here the inhabitants lost the name of Brittaines , the land being called Anglia , or England , and the people Englishmen . 687. Cadwallader left his Crowne , went to Rome , and dyed there . These Kings following were of the West Saxons . 726 Ethelard was King of the West Saxons . 740. Cuthred succeeded him . 757. Sigebert next him , was slaine by a Swineheard . 758. Kenulphus was slaine by a kinsman of Sigebert . 786. Brithricus . In his time it rained blood . IN the 800. ●…re of Christ , the Danes landed at Portland , but Brithricus beat them backe , and afterwards was poysoned by his wife Ethelburga . Eghricus , King of West-Saxons . 839. Adelnulphus ouercame 〈◊〉 Danes , that came to inuade the kingdome with 350. ships . 857. Athelbald . 860. Athelbrict . 866. Etheldrid . 872. Aelfred . 900. Edward surnamed Senior . Heere end the Kings of the West-Saxons , now follow the Kings of Britaine . 104. Athelstane reigned 15. yeeres . 905. THis King did tame the Welsh , the Danes sub du'd , He conquerd Scotland and the Marches rude : The Danish Gyant Colebrand in Hyde-meade , By Guy the Earle of Warwicke was strucke dead . King Athelstane was crowned at Kingstone , hee brought this Land againe to one sole Monarchy , he was buried at Malmsbury . 105. Edmund . 940. 106. Eldred . 946. EDmond , reigned next his brother Athelstane , And after fiue yeeres was vntimely slaine : Nine yeeres was Eldred Englands King inst●…d , Th' insulting Danes , he from this Realme exilde . Edmund was buried at Glastenbury . Eldred was brother to Edmund , he was crowned at Kingstone , he expelled the Danes , and was buried at Winchester . 107 Edwin . 955. 108 Edgar . 959. THen Edwin ( as his right ) obtain'd the Crowne , For Rape , and brutish Iust he was put downe , His brother Edgar a man iust and w●…se , By Edwin●… fall , vnto the Throne did rise . The Church and Commonweale ( long time deform'd ) He by his Iustice and good Lawes reform'd . Raign'd sixteen yeeres , and then by death assail'd , As he had liu'd belou'd , he dy'd bewail'd . Edwin was Eldreds kinsman crowned at Kingstone : he defloured his owne kinswoman and slew her husband , for which odious acts hee was deposed of all Kingly dignity , and his brother Edgar was in his stead crowned at Bathe . Edgar had 3600 ships to withstand the inuasion of his enemies , hee founded and repaired 47. relligious houses , hee was buried at Glastenbury . 109 Edward . 975. 110 Etheldred . 978. EDward was slain by his accurst Stepmother , Ayded by Etheldred his cruell brother . This Etheldred caus'd all the Danes be slaine : And dyed the thirty eight yeere of his raigne . He was crowned at Kingstone : he reigned 3 yeeres , and was buried at Shaftsbury . Etheldred was buried in S. Pauls Church in London . 111 Edmond Ironside . 1016. THe Danes came to reuenge with sword and fire , Both Kings to Combat single did desire : On equall termes , their valours both were tride , In loue the Realme betwixt them they deuide . Edricus a traitor murdered King Edmond Ironside , for the which Canutus the Dane caused him to bee tormented to death grieuously as he deserued . 112 Canutus . 1018. THis mighty Danish King foure Kingdomes hel●… Danes , Norway , England , Scotland he compeld , Taxes and toles he rais'd in England here , And dyed when he had gouern'd twenty yeere . In Canutus his raigne the Danes possessed all England : he lies buried at Winchester . 113 Harold . 10●…8 . 114 Hardicanutus . 1041. HArold from England did exile his Mother , And kild Allured his King and his Brother : Hardicanutus then the Crowne obtain'd , Who quaffing died , when he 3. yeeres had raig●…'d . Harold was a Tyrant : hee was called Hartfoote for his swift running : he murdered Prince Allured hee raigned three yeeres , and was buried at Westminster . Hee caused the body of Harold to be digged out of the graue , and ●…ast into the Thames , in reuenge of his brother Allureds death : he was buried at Winchester . 115. Saint Edward . 1043. 1●…6 . Harold the second . 1066. SAint Edward from the Danes this Ki●…gdom freed , And for he had no Heyre , he heere decreed , That William Duke of Normandy ●…hou'd be Next King , but Harold seeming to agree , Assoone as Edward was laid in his Toombe , This hasty Harold mounted in his roome , But William came from Normandy amaine , By whom King Harold was vnking'd and slaine . The end of the first part . The second part . William Conquerour . An. Dom. 1066. VVHen Britains , Romanes , Saxons , Danes had done , The Normans ( fiftly ) Englands glory won , ●…w Lords brought in new Lawes incontinent , ●…nd all were Conquer'd but the County Kent . King William ( after he had all surpriz'd ) ●…lted , domineer'd , and tyranniz'd , 〈◊〉 Englishmen ( like slaues ) their doores must lock , 〈◊〉 paine of death , each night at eight of clocke . 〈◊〉 English from all Office were disgrac●…d , 〈◊〉 in their places the proud French were plac'd . 〈◊〉 beating down the right , with wrong on wrong , ●…aining men should speake the English tongue . 〈◊〉 so to bring o●…r memory to naught , 〈◊〉 Grammar and the Lawes in French were taught , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Sonnes , with Danes a mighty band , 〈◊〉 in ●…umber to inuade the Land , Then Yorke was burnt , the wealth away was borne And Danes on Composition home did turne . A dearth in England was so great , that heere Cats , Dogs , and mans flesh , was our wofull cheere . The Mercians and Northumbers they rebel'd , Strong warres the Scots within our Country held : The I le of Ely did the King surprize , He caus'd the Rebels lose hands , feet , and eyes . The Normans did rebell and were subdu'd , Danes came and fled , with all their multitude . The Kings sonne ( Robert ) by the French Kings ayd , Did diuers parts of Normandy inuade . The Scots spoild England , with all might and maine , And Durhams Bishop in a broyle was slaine , Heere euery Acre of mens Lands were measur'd . And by a heauy taxe the King was treasur'd : Slaine by a Deere the Kings sonne lost his life , And Glassenbury Monkes were kill'd in strife . The English Nobles almost were decay'd , And euery place of rule the Normans swai'd . And all mens goods and lands , and coyn were rated Through England , and vnto the King related . The French mens pride did England ouerwhelme , And grieuous tributes did oppresse the Realme . Churches and Chappels were throwne down with speed , To make New Forrest as the King decreed : Who hauing rul'd in trouble , toyle and care , And tryannously pol'd this Kingdome bare , Neere twenty one yeeres , death was then his bane : He lyes in Normandy , enterr'd at Cane . William Conquerour was crowned on Christmas-day , 1067. the yeere then beginning on that day . In the 〈◊〉 Forrest in Hampshire called New Forrest , where this King had defased many Churches ( wherein the name of God was called vpon ) and placed wild Beasts for his disport : in the same Forrest two of his owne sonnes were slaine , Prince Robert killed by a Deere , and William Rufus by a Knight shooting at a Deere . William Rufus . An. Dom. 1087. WIlliam the cruell Conquerours second Sonne , With ease , got what his Fathers paines had won , Oppressed England he opprest and prest , And great Exactions wrongfully did wrest . For Symony , and base corrupting gold , The King most Churches and Church-liuings sold , And more , ( his Subiects vilely to abuse ) Against them he in armes did arme the Iewes , And swore if they the victory did gaine , That he their faithlesse faith would entertaine . Vpon his eldest brother hee rai'sd warres , His youngest brother troubled him with iarres . At London , such a furious winde did blow , Which did sixe hundred houses ouerthrow . The City Gloster was by Welshmen sack'd . Northumberland was by King William wrack'd : William de Oue , and William de Aluery , In cruell torments dyed at Salisbury . Duke Robert laid all Normandy to gage Vnto the King , warres with the Turkes to wage . Westminster Hall was built , the Danes came in , And th' Orchades , and the I le of Man did win . But as the King was hunting in Hampshire , Sir Walter Tirr●…ll shooting at a Deere , The Arrow glauncing'gainst a Tree by chance , Th' vnhappy King kild , by the haplesse Glaunce . A Colliers Cart to Winchester did bring The Corps , where vnbemoand they laid the King. Rufus . In the 8. yeere of his reigne , the Christian Army went to Ierusalem vnder the conduct of Godfry Duke of Bulleine , in which warres serued Robert Duke of Normandy the Kings eldest brother , who pawned his Dukedome for 16666 pounds weight of siluer . In the 11. yeere the Lands of the late Earle Godwine sunk in the sea , and are to this day called Godwine sands . This King died the 2. of August 1100. he reigned 12. yeeres , 11. moneths , and was buried at Winchester . Henry the first . An. Dom. 1100. THis Henry ( for his wisedome Beuclarke nam'd ) Th'vnlawfull Lawes and measures he reclaim'd . The Norman Duke , eld'st Brother to the King , To claime the Crowne a mighty Hoast did bring . Saint Bartholomewes was founded and Saint Gyles , And Henry stop'd Duke Roberts mouth with wiles . Then peace was made ; but after , warres did rise , The King tooke's brother , and put out his eyes . Here Windsor Church and Castle were erected , And Wales ( rebeld ) most sharpely was corrected . All the King's Sonnes and eight score persons more , Were drown'd by tempest neere the Norman shore . Thus all his Ioy in Childrens losse bereft , Saue onely Maud , the Widdow Empresse left , Whom Geffrey Anioy's Earle to wife did get , From whom did spring the name Plant●…genet . The King proclaim'd his Daughter , or her seede , After his death should in the Realme succeede , And after thirty fiue yeeres time was past , King Henry by a surfet breath'd his last . Much trouble in his dayes this Kingdome wearied , He dyed , and dead , at Redding he lies buried . Thus God that lifts the low , casts downe the high , Caus'd all the Conquerors sonnes vntimely dye . Henry the 1. He held the Crowne wrongfully from his elder brother Robert Duke of Normandy , and ouercomming him in battell , most vnnaturally put out his eies : he reigned 35. y●…res , his braines , eyes and bowels were buried at Roane in France , and the rest of his body at Redding : his Phisician that opened his head , was killed suddainely with the stench of his braines . King Stephen . An. Dom. 1135. STephen Earle of B●…loign , ( th' Earle of Bloys his son ) From th' Empresse Maud this famous Kingdome won . Domestike , forraigne , dangerous discords , 'Twixt factions f●…ctions , of the King and 's Lords , Wars 'twixt the King and th' Empresse for the crown , Both tasted Fortunes fauours , and her frowne , Now vp , now downe , like balles at Tennis tost , Till Stephen gain'd the goale , and th' Empresse lost . And after eighteene yeeres were come and gone , The King not hauing any lawfull Sonne , He dyed , and chang'd his Kingdome & his strength , For a small Sepulcher of sixe foote length . King Stephen . He was noble , valiant , liberall , and politique , and almost in continuall trouble . In the 1. yeere of his reigne a fire burnt all the streete , from London-stone East , to Pauls , and West , to Algate , and within 2. yeeres after , the ci●…ties of York , Rochester , and Bathe , were burnt . Hee reigned 18. yeeres , 10. moneths , and was buried at Feuersham . Henry the second . An Dom. 1154. THis King vnto the Empresse Maud was Heyre , And lawfully obtain'd the Regall Chayre , He was couragious , and yet most vnchaste , Which Vice , his other Vertues all defac'd . He lou'd faire Rosamond , the worlds faire Rose , For which his wife and children turn'd his foes . He made his sonne Copartner in his Crowne , Who rais'd strong warres to put his Father downe . Faire Rosamond at Woodstock by the Queene Was poyson'd , in reuengefull-iealous spleene . In toyle , and trouble , with his Sonnes and Peeres , The King raign'd almost fiue and thirty yeeres . Hee neere his death did curse his day of birth , Hee curst his Sonnes , and sadly left the earth , Hee at Founteuerard in his Tombe was laid . And his Son Richard next the Scepter swaid . Henry the 2. In the 12. yeer of this King an earthquake in Norfolk , Suffolk , and Elye , that made bels ring with shaking the steeples , and ouerthrew men that stood on their feete . Nicholas Breakespeare , an Englishman was Pope of Rome , and was named Adrian the fourth , hee gaue the Lord-shippe of Ireland to King Henry . Richard Cordelion . An. Dom. 1189. THis braue victorious Lyon-hearted Prince , The foes of Christ , in Iury did conuince : Whilst at Ierusalem he wan Renowne , His Brother Iohn at home vsurp'd his Crowne . And as he home return'd , ( his owne to gaine ) By Austria's Duke the King was Prisoner tane . His ransome was an hundred thousand pound , Which paid , in England he againe was crown'd . Yet after nine full yeeres , and 9. months raigne , Hee with a Shot was kild in Aquitane , His buriall at 〈◊〉 was ●…hought meet , At his dead Fathers , second Henries feet . Richard the 1. he conquered the kingdome of Cypresse , and he tooke from the Infidels the Cities of Acon , & Ioppa , and deliuered them to Christians . In his 2. yeere , the bones of the renowned King Arthur were found at Glastenbury . King Richards bowels were buried at Chalne Castle in Aquitane , his heart at Roane , and his body at Founteuerard . King Iohn . An. Dom. 1199. John Earle of Morton tooke the regall Seate , His state , his toyle , his pompe , his cares , all great : The French , the Welsh , the Scotsh , all prou'd his foes , The Pope King Iohn did from his Crowne depose . His Lords rebel'd , from France the Dolphin came , And wasted England much with sword and flame . And after seuenteene yeeres were full expir'd . King Iohn being poysoned , to his graue retir'd . King Iohn . In the 8. yeere many men , Women , and cattell were slaine with thunder , and many houses burnt , and the corne was beaten downe with haile as bigge as goose egges . Some say , the King was po●…son'd by a monke , and others write that he died of a surfeit at Newark , but his life was full of troubles , and after his death he was by base villaines rob'd and left naked without any thing to couer the corpes , hee was buried at Worcester . Henry the third . An. Dom. 1216. WArs , bloody wars , the French in Englād made , Strong holds , Towns , Towres & Castles they inuade . But afterwards it was K. Henries chance , By force perforce to force them backe to France . Great discord 'twixt the King and Barons were , And factions did the Realme in pieces teare . A world of mischiefes did this Land abide , And fifty sixe yeeres raign'd the King , and dy'd . Henry the 3. This King was born at Winchester , crowned at Glocester , & buried at Westminster . In the 17. of his reigne on the 8. of Aprill 1233. there were 5 Sonnes in the firmament , and the naturall Sun was as red as blood . Edward Long-shanks . An. Dom. 1272. THis was a hardy , wise , Victorious King , The Welshmen he did to subiection bring : He Scotland wan , and brought from thence ( by fate ) Their Crowne , their Scepter , Chaire , and Cloth of state , That Kingdome with oppression sore he brusde , Much tyranny and bloodshed there he vsde . When thirty fiue yeeres he the Crowne had kept , At Westminster , he with his Father slept . Edward the 1. In the 13. yeere his sonne Edward was borne at Carnaruan , who was the first sonne of any King of England that was Prince of Wales . An. 17. Wheat at 3. pence the Bushell . Edward of Carnaruan . An. Dom. 1307. THe hard mis haps that did this King attend , The wretched life , and lamentable end , Which he endur'd the like hath ne'r bin seene , Depos'd , and poyson'd by his cruell Queene . Which when the poyson had no force to kill , Another way she wrought her wicked will. Into his Fundament a red hot Spit Was thrust , which made his Royall heart to split . In his 8. yeere such a dearth , that dogges and horses were good food , many ate their owne children , and old prisoners tore such as were newly committed in pieces , and deuoured them halfe liuing . The King reigned 19. yeeres 6. moneths . Edward the third . An. Dom. 1316. IN Peace and warre , ●…his King was right , & good , He did reu●…nge his murdred Fathers blood : Hee , and the blacke Prince , his most valiant Sonne , The field at Cress●… and at Poytiers wonne , At first and l●…st in his victorious raigne , Of French and Scots , were six score thousand slaine . And more , ( his glory further to aduance ) He tooke the Kings of Scotland and of France . The noble order of the Garter , he At Windsor , instituted caus'd to be . When fifty yeeres this Land had him obaid , At Westminster he in his tombe was laid . In his 12. yeere he quartered the Armes of England and France , as they are at this day . Henry Pichard Vi●…tner , in his Maioralty feasted at once , Edward King of England , Dauid King of Scotland , Iohn King of France , the King of Cypres , the Prince of Wales , the Dolphin of France , with many other great Personages of Honour and Worship . Richard the second . An. Dom. 1377. YOng King , rash coūsell , lawes & right neglected , The good put downe , the bad in State ●…rected : The Court with knaues & flat'rers here did swarm , The Kingdome , ( like a Farme ) was let to Farme . The Commons rose in Armies , Rou●…es , and throngs , And by foule treason , would 〈◊〉 foule wrongs . In this Kings raigne , began the Ciuill warre , ( Vnnaturally ) 'twixt Yorke and Lancaster . Oppression on oppression , breedes Confusion , Bad Prologue , bad Proceeding , bad Conclusion : King Richard , twenty two yeeres raign'd , misse-led , Deposed and at Pomfret knock'd ith'head . This King was Grandchild to Edward the 3. and sonne to the black Prince , he was borne at Burdeux in France , and was but 11. yeeres old when he was crowned , so that all his miserable calamity may be imputed to his not hauing or not regarding good counsell . Henry the fourth . An. Dom. 1399. THe Crown wrong got frō the wrong ' doing king , More griefe then ioy did to King Henry bring : France , England , Scotland , Wales , arose in Armes , And menac'd Henry , with most fierce Alarmes : Hot Percy , Dowglas , Mortimer , Glend●…wre , At Shrewsbury , the King or●…threw their power , He fourteene yeeres did raigne , and then did dye , At Cant●…rbury buried , he doth lye . Henry the 4. Hee began his reigne the 29. of September , 1399. and the 14. of February following , King Richard the 2. being in prison at Pomfret-Castle , was murdered . The raigne of King Henry was a continuall warre and trouble . Henry the fift . An. Dom. 1412. THis was a King Renowned n●…ere and farre , A Mars of men , a Thunderbolt of warre : At Agencourt the French were ouerthrowne , And Henry heyre proclaim'd vnto that Crowne . ●…ine yeeres raigne this valiant Prince wan more , I hena●… the Kings did after or before . Intomb'd at Westminster his Carkas lyes , His soule did ( like his Acts ) ascend the skies . Henry the 5. In his 3. yeere hee past the sea with 1000. 〈◊〉 of Ships and Vessels into France . His tombe or statue was couered with siluer , but this yron age hath deuoured Henry the sixt . An. Dom. 1422. THis Infant Prince scarce being nine moneths old , The Realmes of France and England he did hold But he vncapable through want of yeeres , Was ouer-gouern'd by mis-gouern'd Peeres . Now Yorke and Lancaster , with bloudy wars , Both wound this kingdome , with deep deadly scars . Wh●…st this good King by Yorke oppos'd , depos'd , Expos'd to dangers , is captiu'd , 〈◊〉 ' d , His 〈◊〉 ●…xilde , his sonne and many friends , F●…d , murdred , slaughtred ; lastly , ●…ate contends To crowne him once againe , who then at last Was murdred , thirty nine yeeres being past . King Henry the fixt , being 10. yeers old , was crowned King of France in Paris , but with the strife betwixt the Nobility , and the Commons in England , the most part of France was lost againe , which was neuer recouered since . Edward the fourth . An. Dom. 1460. EDward , the 4 the house of Yorks great heire , By bloudy wars attain'd the Regall Chair●… , The poore King Henry into Scotland fled , And foure yeeres there was royally cloath'd and fed , Still good success●… with him was in the wane , He by King Edwards power at last was tane . But yet before the tenth yeere of his reigne , Hence Edward fled , and Henry crown'd againe . By Warwicks meanes sixe moneths he held the same , Till Edward backe in armes to England came , And fighting stoutly , made this kingdome yeeld , And slew great Warwicks Earle at Barnet field . Thus Ciuill wars on wars , and broyles on broyles , And England against England spils and spoyles , Now Yorke , then Lancaster , then Yorke againe Quels Lancaster ; thus ioy , griefe , pleasure , paine , Doth like inconstant waters ebbe and flow : Ones rising is the others ouerthrow . King Edward , twenty two yeeres rul'd this Land , And lies at Windsor , where his Tombe doth stand . Edward the 4. In the first yeere on Palme-sunday , 1460. there was a battell fought betwixt King Edward and King Henry , neere Todcaster , wherein were slaine of English-men on both sides 53000 , 700 , and 11. persons : The bloudy victory fell to King Edward . In the 10. yeere of his reigne , he was forced to forsake this Land , whereby King Henry was restored againe to the Crowne . But shortly after , Edward returned , and Henry was ●…urthered . Edward the fifth . An. Dom. 1483. HIgh birth , blood , state , and innocent in yeeres , Eclips'd , and murdred by insulting Peeres : This King was neuer crown'd , short was his raigne : For to be short , hee in short space was slaine . Edward the 5. Within 3. moneths after the death of his father , hee and his brother Richard Duke of Yorke , were depriued both of their liues , and he of the Crowne , by their tyrannous Unkle Richard , Duke of Gloster . Richard the third . An. Dom. 1483. BY reason , mischiefe , murder and debate . Vsurping Richard wonne the royall state : Vnnatnrally the children of his brothe . The King , and Duke of Yorke he caus'd to smother . For Sir Iames Tirrell , Dighton and Blacke Will , Did in the Tower these harmlesse Princes kill , Buckinghams Duke did raise King Richard high , And for reward he lost his head thereby . A fellow to this King I scarce can finde . His shape deform'd , and crooked like his minde . Most cruell , tyrannous , inconstant , stout , Couragious , hardy , t' abide all dangers out , Yet when his sinnes were mellow , ripe and full , Th' Almighties Iustice then his plum●…s did pull : By bloudy meanes he did the kingdome gaine , And lost it so , at Bosworth being slaine . This Richard was neuer a good subiect ; but wh●… he had got the Crowne , he striued by all meanes to be a good King , for in his short reigne of two yeeres , two mo●…s , he made very profitable Lawes , which are yet in force : by which it may be perceiued how willing he was to 〈◊〉 his mis-spent time . Henry the seuenth . An. Dom. 1485. VVHen Ciuill wars , full fourescore yeers & more , Had made this kingdome welter in her Gore : When eightie of the royall blood were kild , That Yorke and Lancasters crosse faction held , Then God in mercy , looking on this Land , Brought in this Prince , with a triumphant band , The onely Heire of the Lancastrian line , Who grac●…ously consented to combine , To ease poore England of a world of anone , And make the red Rose and the white but one , By Marriage with Elizabeth the faire , Fourth Edwards daughter , and Yorks onely heire . But Margret Burgunds Lancaster storm'd & frown'd , That th' heire of Lancaster in state was crown'd . A counterfeit , one Lambert she suborn'd , ( Beign with Princely ornaments adorn'd ) To claime the State in name of Cla●…ce sonne , Who in the Tower before to death was done . Wars ' gainst the French King Henry did maintaine , And Edward braue Lord Wooduil●… there was slaine . Northumberlands great Earle ( for the Kings right ) Was slaine by Northerne rebels in sharpe fight . The King besiedged Boloigne , but a Peace The French king sought , and so the siedge did cease . Still Burgunds Dutchesse , ( with inueterate hate ) Did seeke to ruine Henries Royall state : She caus'd one Perkin Warbecke , to put on The name of Richard , Edwards murdred sonne , Which Richard , was the youngest of the twaine Of Edwards sonnes that in the Tower was slaine . The King at last these traitors did confound , And Perkin for a counterfeit was found . Sir William Stanley , ( once the Kings best friend ) At Tower hill , on a Scaffold had his end . On Blacke Heath Cornish rebels were o'rthrowne , A Shoomaker did claine King Henries Crowne . The Earle of Warwicke lost his haplesse head , And Lady Katherine did Prince Arthur wed . But ere sixe moneths were fully gone and past , In Ludlow Castle , Arthur breath'd his last . King Henry built his Chappell from the ground , At Westminster , whose like can scarce be found . Faire Margret eldest daughter to our King , King Iames the fourth of 〈◊〉 home did bring , Where those two Princes , with great pompe and cheare , In State at Edenborough married were . But as all Mortall ●…hings are tra●…ory , So to an end came H●…nrie ●…arthly glory . Twenty three yeeres , and 8. months here he swaid , And then at Westminster , i●…s Tombe was laid . He all his Life had variable share , Of Peace , Warre , Ioy Griefe , Royaltie and Care. In his 1. yeere in 7. weekes space , there dyed in London 2. Masors , and 6. Aldermen , besides many hundred others of a strange sweating sicknesse , 1485. Anno Reg. 12. at Saint Needs in Bedfordshire , there fell bail-stones 18. inches about . King Iames the 4. of Scotland , married Margret , eldest daughter to Henry the 7. from whom our gracious Soueraigne is lineally descended . Henry the eight . An. Dom. 1509. FRom both the Lines , and both the loynes did spring Of York & Lancaster , this mighty King : Katherine that was his brothers wife of late , He tooke to wife , and crown'd her Queene in state . Empson and Dudley lost their heads at Tower , For racking the poore Commons by their power . Warres , dreadfull wars , arose 'twixt vs and France , Lord Edward Howard , drowned by mis-chance At Brest , he was high Admirall in fight , Cast ouerboord , dy'd like a valiant Knight . In England Suffolks Duke did lose his head , The King to Tur●…in d●…d an army lead , Turney he wonne with his victorious blade , King Iames of Scotland , England did inuade : But Surries Earle , the Sco●…sh King ouercame , Who lost life there , but wonne immortall fame . Now Cardinall Wol●…ey , in the Kings high Grace , Was rais'd to honours , from great place to place , Lordship on Lordship laid vpon his backe , Vntill the burthen was the bearers wracke . The Duke of Buckingham , his head did lose , And Luther stoutly did the Pope oppose , Blinde ignorance that long had look'd awry , Began to see Truth with a clearer eye , And then the King ( inspir'd with feruent Zeale ) Reformed both the Church and Common weale , Iehouah with his power Omnipotent , Did make this King his gracious instrument , T' vnmaske his Truth from Antichristian fables , And purge this wofull Land from Babel●… bables . This King at Boloigne was victorious ; In peace and warre , Magnifique , Glorious ; In his rage bounty he did oft expresse , His Liberality to bee excesse , In Reuels , Iusts , and Turnies he spent more , Then fiue of his Fore-fathers did before , His Auarice was all for Noble fame , Amongst the Worthies to inrole his Name , A valiant Champion for the Faiths defence , Was the great Title of this mightie Prince . Sixe wiues he had , 3. Kates , 2. Annes , one Iane , Two were diuorc'd , two at the blocke were slaine : One sonne and two faire daughters he did leaue , Who each from other did the Crowne receiue : The first was Edward ; Mary next , whose death Left State , and Realme , to Queene Elizabeth . He thirty eight yeeres kept this Royall Roome , At Windsor hee 's enter'd without a Tombe . Leeth , Edenbourgh , and diuers other parts of Scotland were spoyled by Sir Iohn Dudley , Lord Viscount Lisle , Lord high Admirall of England , with a Nauy of 200. tall Ships . Anno 1544. King Henry went to Boloigne , hee entred France the 13. of Iuly , and into Boloigne the 25. of September , in which yeere were taken 300. French Ships for prizes . Edward the sixt . An. Dom. 1546. HAd this Kings reigne bin long , as it was good , Religion in a peaceable state had stood , What might haue his age bin , when his blest youth , So valiantly aduanc'd Gods sacred truth ? At nine yeeres age , the Crowne on him hee tooke , And ere sixteene , he Crowne and life forsooke . Too good for earth , th' Almighty tooke his spirit , And Westminster his Carkas doth inherit . In his 5. yeere a strange Earth-quake did much harme in diuers places of Surry , and a sweating sicknesse generally ouer England , that dispatched those that were in good health , in 12. houres , or 24. at the most . In one weeke there dyed of it in London 806. the most of them being men of best strength . Queene Mary . An. Dam. D●… AFter a while this Queene had worne the Crown , Idolatry was rais'd , and Truth put downe , The Masse , the Images , the Beades and Altars , By tyrannie , by fire , and sword and Halters , Th' vngodly bloudy Antichristian sway , Men were force , perforce forced to obey . Now burning Bonner , Londons Bishop , he Was from the Marshal-sea againe set free : Iohn Dudley , great Duke of Northumberland , And Sir Iohn Gates dyed by the Headsmans hand . With them Sir Thomas Palmer likewise dy'd . Hoping for heau'n , through Iesus Crucified . In Latine Seruice must be sung and said , Because men should not know for what they prai'd . The Emp'rors sonne , great Philip King of Spaine , A marriage with Queene Mary did obtaine : Against which match , Sir Thomas Wyat rose , With powers of Kent the Spaniards to oppose . But Wyat was or'throwne , his armie fled , And on the Tower hill after lost his head . Lord Gray the Duke of Suffolke also dy'd , An Axe his Corps did from his head diuide , A little after , the Lord Thomas Gray , The Dukes owne brother went that headlesse way . A Millers sonne asl●…m'd King Edwards name , And fa sely in that n●…me the Crowne did claime , But he was tane and iustly whip'd and tortur'd , And claiming it once more , was hang'd & quarterd . King Pl●…lip won Saint . Quintins with great cost . But after to our shame was Callice lost , Calli●…e was lost , which threescore yeeres and ten , Had beene a Garrison for English men . Thus by Gods mercy Englands Queene did dye , And England gain'd much ease and rest thereby . Fiue yeeres and 4. months was her bloudy reigne , And all her glory doth one graue containe . Though of her selfe this Queene was well inclin'd , Bad-minded counsell al●…red much her minde . She married Philip King of Spaine , on Saint Iames his day , 1554. at Winchester . Callice was won by Edward the 3. in the 21. of his reigne , 1347. and it was lost the 1. of Ianuary 1557. after the English-men had possest it 210. yeeres . August 7. 1558 a tempest neere Nottingham , beat damne 2 Townes and Churches , and cast the Bels to the further side of the Church-yard , threw whole sheetes of Lead 400. foot into the fields , where they were crumpled together like burnt parchment : the streame and mud of the K●…er of Trent was blowne a-land a quarter of a mile : a childe blowne out of a mans hand 100. foot and kild , there fell hayle 15. Inches about . Queene Elizabeth . An. Dom. 1558. A Debora , a Iudith , a Susannae , A Virgin , a Virago , a Diana : Couragious , Zealous , Learned , Wise and Chaste , With heauenly , earthly gifts , adorn'd and grac'd , Victorious , glorious , bountious , gracious , good , And one , whose vertues dignifi'd her bloud , That Muses , Graces , Armes , and liberall Arts , Amongst all Queens , proclaim'd her Queen of hearts , She did repurifie this Land once more , From the infection of the Romish whore . Now Abbies , Abbots , Fri'rs , Monks , Nuns & Stews , Masses , and Masse-priests , that mens soules abuse , Were all cast downe , Lamps , Tapers , Relikes , Beads , And Superstitions that mans soule misse-leads , All Popish pardons , Buls . Confessions , With Crossings , Christening bels , Saints Intercessions , The Altars , Idols , Images downe cast , All Pilgrimage , and Superstitious Fast , Th' acknowledging the Pope for supreme head , The holy water , and the god of bread , The mumbling Mattins , and the pickpurse Masse , These bables this good Queene did turne to grasse . She caus'd Gods seruice to be said and sung , In our owne vnderstanding English tongue . In Scotland and in France , fierce warres she held , The Irish she subdu'd when they rebeld , The Netherlands her name doe still admire , And Spaine her like againe doth not desire . When forty foure yeers reigne was past and gone , She chang'd her earthly for a heauenly Throne , At Greenwich she was borne , at Richmond dy'd , At Westminster she buried , doth abide ; And as the fame of this Imperiall Maide , Is through the world , ( by the foure winds ) displaid , So shall her memory for euer grace Her famous birth , her death , and buriall place . At Teuxbury Anno 1574. the 24. of February , being a hard frost , the Riuer of Seuerne was couered with Flies and Beetles , so that it was thought , within the length of a paire of Buts , to be 100. quarters of them the ●…ils were stopped with them , but from whence they came , is vnknown . 1582. A piece of Land of three Acres in Dorsetshire , in the Parish of Armitage , was suddenly remooued 600. foot from the place where formerly it stood . King Iames. An. Dom. 1601. VVHen as Elizaes wofull death was act●…d : When this lamenting land was halfe 〈◊〉 : Whē tears e●…ch loyall heart with grief had drownd , Then came this King and made our ioves abound , Ordain'd for vs by heauenly power diuine , Then from the North this glorious starre did shine , The Royall Image of the Prince of Peace , The blest Concorder that made warres to cease ; By Name a S T E V V A R D , and by Nature one , Appointed from Iehonahs sacred Throne , And by th' almighties hand supported euer , That Treason or the Diuell should hurt him neuer : And as his Zeale vnto his God was great , Gods blessings on him were each way compleat , Rich in his Subiects loue ( a Kings best treasure ) Rich in content , ( a Riches aboue measure ) Rich in his Princely Issue , and in them , Rich in his hopefull Branches of his stemme ; Rich in Munition and a Nauy Royall , And richer then all Kings in seruants Loyall . When Hell and Ro●… together did conspire , ●…o blow him and his Kingdome vp with fire , Then did the King of Kings preserue our King , And all the Traytors to confusion bring . And whoso reckons vp from first to last , The many hel-hatch'd dangers he hath past Through all his daies , he will beleeue ( no doubt ) That he with heauenly pow'rs was wall'd about . All Christian Princes held his friendship deare , Was fear'd for loue , and not belou'd for feare : And Pagan Monarchs were in L●…ague combin'd With him , as farre as is the Easterne Ind●… . And like a flame a midst a Riuer fix'd , So was his Iustice with his m●…rcy mix'd : He striu'd to imitate his Ma●…er still , And clemency preseru'd where Law 〈◊〉 : He hath cur'd England and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 wounds , And made them both great ( 〈◊〉 ) Britains bounds All bloudy deadly fewds 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 And canker'd hate he turn'd to Christian 〈◊〉 , The mouth of warre he muzzled mu●…e 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , He still'd the roaring Cannon and the 〈◊〉 Secure in peace , his people sup and dine , 〈◊〉 With their owne fig-trees shaded and 〈◊〉 Whilst in an vprore most of Christendome , One Nation doth another 〈◊〉 . Vnto the King of Kings let 's praises sing . For giuing vs this ●…appy peacefull King. None know so well how they should peace prefer , As those that know the miseries of warre : T is true ( though 〈◊〉 ) and must not be forgot , The warres are sweet to such as know them not . Peace ( happy peace ) doth spread tranq●…illity , Through all the bounds of Britaines Monarchy ; And may we all our actions still addresse , For peace with God , and warre 'gainst wickednesse . Vnto which peace of God this King's 〈◊〉 , To reigne in glory that shall ne'r be ended . His mortall part at Westminster enter'd , His soule and Fame immortally prefer'd . God did wonderfully preserue him ( vpon two seuerall Tuesdaies ) from 2 most dangerous treas●… , the one at the Towne of Saint Iohnston in Scotland , on Tuesday the 5. of August , 1600. where the Earle of Gowry attempted to kill his Maiesty . The ●…her was in England , in that fearfull treason and deliuerance from the Powder-plot , on Tuesday the 5. of Nouember . 1606. King CHARLES . TWo Williams , Henries 8. 1. Steuen , 1. Iohn , Sixe Edwards , Richards 3. and 1. Queene Mary : Elizabeth , and Iames , all dead and gone , Our gracious Charles doth now the Scepter carry ; And may they liue and dye of God accurst , Who wish the pre●…dice of Charles the first . Iust 25. Kings and Queenes of England since the Norman Conquest . FINIS . THIS AVTHOR HATH newly caused all his works ( being aboue 60. ) to bee printed into one Volume , the Names of all which Works are set downe in this following Catalogue . TAylors Vrania . The life and death of the Virgin Mary . The whip of Pride . Against cursing and swearing . The fearefull Summer . Christian Admonitions . The trauell of tweluepence . The Armado . The Begger . Taylors Goose. Iacke a Lent. Taylors peninlesse Pilgrimage , The Sculler . The Dolphins danger . The Cormorant . A sea-fight by Captaine Wedall . The praise of Hempseed . Taylors Pastorall . Prince Charles his welcome from Spaine . An English mans loue to Bohemia . Three weeks and three daies trauels Taylors farewell ●…o Bohemia . Sir Gregory Nonsence . A very merry Whir●…y voyage . The great O Tnole . A voyage to the West . The scourge of basenesse . Taylors Motto . Odcombs complaint . Coriats resurrection . Laugh and be fat . Coriats newes . A Bawd. A Whore. A Thiefe . A Hangman . The vnnaturall Father . Taylors reuenge . Fenners defence . A cast ouer the water . The praise of cleane Linnen . The Water-mans suit . Wit and mirth . A Dogge of Warre . The world runs on Wheeles . The nipping or snipping of abuses . A Chronicle from Brute . A Briefe from the conquest . A Farewell to the Towre bottles . The marriage of the Princesse Elizabeth . An Elegie for King Iames. An Elegy for the Earle of Nottingham . An Elegy for the Earle of Holdernesse . An Elegy for the Bishop of Winchester . An Elegy for the Duke of Richmond . An Elegy for Iohn Moray Esquire . The summe of the Bible in verse . The sum of the Booke of Martyrs in verse . The Churches deliuerances . Archies making peace with France . The Acts and exployts of Wood the great Eater , in Kent . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13472-e220 a The 7 Kingdomes were , 1. Kent . 2 South-Saxons , Sussex and Surry . 3 East-Angles , Norfolke , and Cambridge-shire . 4 West Saxon , Barkshire , Deuonshire , Somersetshire , and Cornewell . 5 Mertia , Glostershire , Herefordshire , Worcester , Shropsh●…re , Scaffor●…shire , Cheshire , Warwike , Leycester , Noreb , Oxford , ●…ingham , Bedford , and halfe Hartfordshire . 6 East-Saxon , Essex , Middlesex , and halfe Hartfordshire . 7 Northumberland diuided to two Kingdomes , 〈◊〉 ●…nd Bernicia , all brought to one Monarchy by Egler●… : 〈◊〉 West-Saxons , and called England , 196●… yee●…s after 〈◊〉 . Notes for div A13472-e980 * Brute being of the age of 15 yeeres , as he shot at a wild beast , the arrow glanced vnfortunately and slew his Father Siluius Aeneas , for the which he was exilde , and came into this Land , then called Albyon . I follow the common opinion : for many Writers doe neither write or allow of Brutes being here , accounting it a dishonor for our Nation , to haue originall from a Par●…ide , and one that deriued his descent from the Goddesse ( alias strumper ) Venus . Howsoeuer , Histories are obscured and clouded with ambiguities , some burnt , lost , defaced by antiquity ; and some abused by the malice , ignorance , or partialitie of Writers , so that truth is hard to be found . Amongst all which variations of Times and Writers , I must conclude there was a BRVTE . a The Riuer of Humber tooke the name from the drow●…d King of the Huns , now Hungarians . b Guendoline was daughter vnto Corineus , Duke Cornewall . Estrild was a beautious Lady of King ●…umbers , whom Locrinus tooke prisoner . Notes for div A13472-e9350 a On the Plaine of Salisbury at Stonehing ( where the Stones are to be seene at this day . ) * The King & Queene burnt to death . Vortiger married his owne daughter 〈◊〉 his third wife . 
A13484	----	Part of this summers travels, or News from hell, Hull, and Hallifax, from York, Linne, Leicester, Chester, Coventry, Lichfield, Nottingham, and the Divells Ars a peake With many pleasant passages, worthy your observation and reading. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1639 Approx. 65 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 27 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13484 STC 23783 ESTC S111384 99846745 99846745 11732 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13484) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 11732) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1498:6) Part of this summers travels, or News from hell, Hull, and Hallifax, from York, Linne, Leicester, Chester, Coventry, Lichfield, Nottingham, and the Divells Ars a peake With many pleasant passages, worthy your observation and reading. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [4], 48, [4] p. Imprinted by I[ohn] O[kes], [London] : [1639] Partly in verse. Printer's name and publication date from STC. The last two leaves are blank. Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng England -- Description and travel -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-07 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Part of this Summers Travels , OR NEWS From Hell , Hull , and Hallifax , from York , Linne , Leicester , Chester , Coventry , Lichfield , Nottingham , and the Divells Ars a Peake . With many pleasant passages , worthy your observation and reading . By John Taylor . Imprinted by J. O. A few words of direction to the Reader . I Have not written every place in that order , as is set downe in the Title of this Pamphlet , but of such places as I travelled unto , I have truly related the passages , and the time , both when , where , why , and how I went , came and perform'd it . If any man aske wherefore this Book is good , or how it may be any way usefull , I answer that it is foure ways commodious : First , it is profitable , for it will direct a man the high-wayes of crossing divers Countries from place to place , which no other Book shews , as from Leicester to Linne in Norfolke , from Linne to Kingstone , upon Hull in Yorkeshire , from Hull to Yorke , thence to Hallifax , to Chester , Darby , Nottingham , Coventry , Lichfield , and the Devils Ars a Peake : all these ways are herein described ; secondly , there are some Monuments of Antiquitie are mentioned , which greater Authours have omitted ; thirdly , there are some passages of delightfull Mirth and Recreation . And lastly , all is true , or else you have the Authours leave to travell as hee hath done , and doe your best and worst to prove him a liar . Passages and Entertainments from London to Leicester , with some observations of the said Town and Shire . UPon Saint Swithins day , I noted well , The wind was calme , nor any rain then fell , Which faire day ( as old sawes saith ) doth portend , That heav'n to earth , will plenteous harvest send , The morrow being Julies sixteenth day , In my Progression I began my way . I need not to relate the towns that lie Just in my way , ( as I road through or by ) Onely at Mims , a Cockney boasting bragger In mirth , did aske the women for Belswagger , But strait the females , like the Furies fell , Did curse , scold , raile , cast dirt , and stones pell mell , But we betook us nimbly to our spurs , And left them calling us rogues , knaves , and curs : With other pretty names , which I discern'd They from their old fore-mothers well had learn'd . The reason why they are with rage inflam'd , When as they heare Belswagger nam'd . Is ( as report doth say ) there dwelt a Squire , Who was so full of love , ( or lusts desire ) That with his faire tongue , Hippocritick-hood , ( By slanderous people 't was misunder stood ) The women were so fruitfull , that they were All got with childe , in compasse of one yeare , And that Squires name , they say , Belswagger was , And from that tale , the lying jeere doth passe , Wherefore the women there will chide and swagger , If any man do aske them for Belswagger . Thence past I on my journy unto Hockly , Whereas I saw a Drunkard like a block lye , There I alighted at the sanguine Lion , Where I had meat , drink , and a bed to lie on . The next day I road stately to Northampton , And all the way my horse most proudly stampt on , On Thursday , trotting , galloping and ambling , To Leister , I proceeded in my rambling : There , at the blue Boare I was welcome than Unto my brother Miles , a downright man , Plain dealing , free from flattery , fraud or feare , Who hath liv'd long with reputation there , He 's old and honest , valiant , courteous , free : ( I write not this for making much of me ) But they that doubts on 't , let them go and try And if he be a changling , say I lie . That house King Richard lodg'd in , his last night , Before he did the field of Bosworth fight , And there 's a Room , a King to entertain , The like is not in Leister Town again , Th' Assizes then were there , some causes tride , And Law did there the corps and souls divide , Of two offenders , one had with a Knife Stabd his contracted love , and reav'd her life , 'Tother , a wench that had stolne some poor rayment , And fir'd the house , deserv'd the Hangmans payment . King Leir a Temple did to Janus reare And plac'd a Flamine in 't , there doth appeare The arched Ovens foure yards thick at least , Wherein they Heathen Sacrifices drest ; Like as the Jews in their Idolatry , Offered their sonnes and daughters impiously , To Moloeh , Nisroch , Ashtaroth , and Ball : And to those devillish gods adore and fall , So people here , when warre or peace they sought ; They offrings unto Janus Temple brought ; This was eight hundred forty and foure yeare Before our Saviours birth , built by King Leire , Long after Etheldred ( the Mercian King ) Ahappy and a Christian change did bring The Temple raz'd , the Flamine he defac'd , And there a Christian Bishops Sea he plac'd , Which lasted but few yeares , for then this Land Was seven-fold yoaked , beneath 7 Kings command And those Kings still were in perpetuall wars That England was quite spoyl'd with endlesse jars And in those Garboyles Leister had her share , Spoyl'd , rifled , ransack'd , robd , and left most bare , Till Edelfred , with great magnificence , Repair'd and wall'd it strongly for defence . Then did it flourish long in wealth and state , Till second Henry it did ruinate : He in out-ragious fury fir'd the Town , Diswall'd it quite , and cast the Castle down , So nothing but some raines doth appeare , Whereby men may perceive that such things were . Thus Leister fell , from state superlative , Her fifty Churches all consum'd to five . Yet it is faire and spacious at this day , And East , West , North , and South 't is every way Above a mile in length , so that no doubt , The Town 's in circuit six large miles about . Henry first Duke of Lancaster in war , In peace , or bounty , a bright blazing Star For buildings in this City is renown'd , Which as time rais'd , time did again confound Yet one large fabrick there doth still abide Whereby the good Dukes name is dignifide , And that 's an Hospitall or Bead-house , where One hundred and ten men are harbour'd there , From perishing through want , still to defend Those aged men untill the world shall end . Twice every day a Chaplain doth repair To them ; and unto God sends prayse and prayer , And Nurses are allow'd to dresse their meat , To make their beds , to wash , and keep them neat : For which they thankefull be to God alone Who rais'd such means to ease the poor mans mone . Good Henry Earle of Huntingdon ( renown'd ) A free schoole did erect there , from the ground , With means ( though meane ) for majntenance endow'd Two Vshers , and one Schoolmaster allow'd , They teach young lads , such Rules as do belong , To reade the English and the Latine tongue , And when their knowltdge is with hope discernd , They is the Greek may learn , and be more learn'd . But to relate somthing in profe of this ancient Towne of Leicester , in the time of nine weekes , which I abode there to and fro , I observed such a civill government and decency , which is not in many places to be found or equallized . First , I noted the peace , tranquillity , and unity which the people live in , under the rule and command of the Major and his brethren , to whose authority and power ( under the King ) the inhabitants do willingly obay . Secondly , the Clergy ( or Ministery ) are learned , diligent , and painfull ; and both Clergie and Layity , are conformable to the Orders and Discipline of the Church of England , and I did not heare of any one , residing there , that is , either Schismatically opinionated with Dogmaticall Whimseyes , or Amster-damnable Fopperies . Thirdly , they are so charitable , and carefull in providing for the relief of the poore and needy , that a man must go seek where to bestow his almes , for there is not any one ( that I could see ) that begg'd in the whole Town . Fourthly , the streets are so well paved , and kept so clean from dunghils , filth , or soyle , that in the wettest or fowlest weather , a man may go all over the Towne in a paire of slippers , and never wet his feet . Lastly , the people are generally so loving one to another , that the Lawyers want work , and so honest that the Apparitors are idle , and those few Drunkards which they have , are very civill and faire condition'd . Certain other observations . There is a faire Library , and a well founded Almes-house within the Town , also two Gaoles , two houses of Correction , and for mad and frantick people . Also it is reported , that when King Richard the Third went from Leicester , to fight the battaile neer Bosworth , that then there was a man of mean calling ( some say he was a Weaver , and some say a Plough-wright by his Trade ) hee had a spirit of divination or Prophecie , of whom the Tyrant King Richard demanded some questions , what the event of that dayes fight might be to him , to whom the other ( most bluntly answered , Marke my words King Richard , that as thou dost ride out of this Towne of Leicester , this morning thou shalt hit thy right foot against a stone , and as thou returnest thou shalt knocke thy head against the same : which proved true , for as he road , he did strike against the corner of a wall his foot , and after hee was slain in the field , hee was stript , and his body layd crosse behind a man on Hors-back , ( like a Calfe ) and in that vile and ignominious manner , as they brought his corps back to Leicester , his head did knocke against the aforesaid wall or stone , which place I saw there ; also I went eight miles to see Red●●re field , where the King fell , which is a moorish kinde of ground , altogether unfruitfull , and the water doth seem red , which some foolish people do suppose to be the staine of K. Richards bloud ; but it is onely the colour of the red earth that makes the water seeme so , and the ground close adjoyning is very fertile for Corne and Pasturage , but in the lower parts it is boggy and moory : by nature , and not either barren or bloudy by any reason of the Kings death . Another observation is concerning the alteration of the measures of Miles , and good sufficient Pots or Jugs of drink , but the further I travelled Northward , the more the miles were lengthened , and the Pots shrunke and curtald ; but indeed , what the liquor wanted in measure it had in strength : the power of it being of such potencie , that it would fox a dry Traveller , before he had half quencht his thirst . In this County of Leicester , I observed a piece of extream justice , executed upon three Geese , which was thus . At a Village called Dadlington , eight miles from Leicester , there dwelsa Gentlewoman a Kinswoman of mine , who the last Trinity Tearm 1639 was at London , about some businesse in Law , which much concern'd her : and in her absence , the Pinder of Dadlington , finding three of her Geese innocently grazing upon the Common , for to shew the full power , force , vertue , and marrow of his office and authority , drave the Geese into the Pound or Pindfold , and because they could procure no Bayle for their Release , nor sureties for their true imprisonment , hee put all their three necks into a Horslock , which Engine or Neck-fetter was so strait , close , and pinching , that the Geese were all strangled : Now the question is whether Willy , Tilly , ( the Pinder so silly ) were the cause of their deaths , or whether the Geese did desperately cast away themselves : all which I humbly refer to the discretion of the Jury . But some Readers may muse why I do write so much of Leicester , in this little Book ; the reason is that I lay there from the 17 of July , to the 20 of August , which was five weekes , but in the mean space , I road to Coventry , and return'd in a day to Leicester again , of Coventry I have little to say , but that it is a faire , famous , sweet , and ancient City , so walled about with such strength and neatnesse , as no City in England may compare with it ; in the wals ( at severall places ) are 13 Gates and Posterns whereby to enter , and issue too and from the City : and on the wals are 18 strong defensible Towers , which do also beautifie it : in the City is a faire and delicate Crosse , which is for structure , beauty , and workmanship , by many men accounted unmatchable in this Kingdome : although my selfe with some others , do suppose , that of Abington in Berkeshire will match it , and I am sure the Crosse in Cheapside at London doth farre out-passe it . I have bin at this City foure times , and have written of it before , and therefore at this time ( my stay being so short there ) I have but little to say , onely this that some are of opinion , that at the first itwas called Coventry , from the French word Trey Covent , because there were founded three Covents , for three severall Orders of Friers , namely , the Franciscan Friers , the Augustine Friers , and the Dominicans : It matters not much who erected the said foundations and Covents , but it is certain , that the renowned King Henry the Eighth did suppresse and demolish them , whose memories now is almost quite buried in their owne ruines . Coventry is a County of it selfe , it hath been grac'd and dignified much by the Grant and Priviledges given to it by former Kings , a● King Edward the Third , and King Henry the Sixt ; The Majors name ( at my being there , wa● Master Thomas Forrest a Vintener ) and Maste Thomas Phineas Sword-bearer there dyed at th● beginning of the Sessions ( much about the tim● of my being there ) he was a man of that comel● bulke and corpulency , that his Coffin was a ful● yard wide at the shoulders , and it is said , that i● his life time hee could have been ( at one meale the consumption of a large shoulder of Mutton , but he and his good stomack being both deceast , I left Coventry , because it was Sessions time , and returned to my Randevouze at Leister . The eleventh day of August I road from Leister to Nottingham , where I lodged at the signe of the Princes Armes ; but I was wel entertained at the house of the Right Worshipfull Sir Thomas Hutchinson Knight , himselfe and his good Lady made mee welcome , and did expresse their bounty to mee in good Cheere and Money : for the which I am heartily thankfull . The Towne of Nottingham is seated on a Hill , which Hill is almost of one stony Rocke , or a soft kinde of penetrable sandy stone ; it hath very faire buildings , many large streetes , and a spacious Market place : a great number of the inhabitants ( especially the poorer sort ) doe dwell in vaults , holes , or caves , which are cut and digged out of , ( or within ) the Rocke : so that if a man be destitute of a house , it is but to goe to Nottingham , and with a Mattock , a Shovell , a Crow of Iron , a Chizell , and Mallet , and such instruments , he may play the Mole , the Cunny , or the Pioner , and worke himselfe a Hole , or a Burrow , for him and his family : Where , over their heads the grasse and pasture growes , and beasts do feed ; faire Orchards and gardens are their coverings , and Cowes are milkt upon the tops of their houses . I was much befriended by Master Palmer the Iaylor there ; for he went with me , and shewed me the ( sometimes ) strong and defencible Castle , but now much ruined : yet still there are many faire and sumptuous roomes in reasonable reparation and estate . On the lofty Battlements of the said Castle , there is a most spacious prospect round about : for from thence I could see the most stately Castle of Belvoyre or Bever Castle , which doth ( as it selfe ) belong to the Right Honourable the Earle of Rutland : and nearer hand , within three miles , I saw the ancient Towne of Gotham , famous for the seven Sages ( or Wise men ) who are fabulously reported to live there in former ages . In the aforesaid Castle of Nottingham , I was shewed divers strange wonderfull Vaults , cut or hewen out of the Rocke , whereof one is said to be the place where David King of Scots was detained many years in captivity : where the said King , with his owne hands ( without any other instrument than the nayles of his fingers ) did with the said tooles engrave and claw out the forme of our Saviours Life , death , and passion ; which Worke is there to bee seene upon the Walls . Also there is another Vault or passage through the Rocke , whereby men may descend or ascend out , or into the Castle ; which vault is called Mortimers Hole , through which hole ( as report goes ) the great Roger Mortimer , Earle of Wigmor , and Lord of Wallingford had egresse and regresse to the Queene , wife to King Edward the second , or the infortunate Edward of Carnarvan . Thus having seene as much of Nottingham Towne and Castle as is related ; on the twelfth of August , I road to the ancient towne of Darby : On the thirteenth of August I left Darby , with an intent to retire to Leister ; but after I had road halfe a Mile , I met with an acquaintance of mine , who was travailing towards the Peake in Darby shire , to a Towne called Wirksworth , and from thence to Chiesterfield , I returned with him . The Country is very Mountainous , and many Lead Mines are found thereabouts : the best and most richest is called Dove Gany , within a mile or little more of Wirksworth ( corruptly called Wortsworth : ) and two Miles from thence are most dangerous wayes , stony , craggy , with inaccessible Hils and Mountaines : the grounds there are lawfull ( as they told me ) for any man to dig or mine in for Lead , be they of what condition soever : for the Laws of mining is , that those that will adventure their Labours shall have all the profits , paying the tenth part to the Lord or Landlord , of all the Lead which they get . If it happen that they take pains , a yeare or two in sundry places to finde a Myne if their fortune be so hard to finde none ( as it often falls out so ) they do work all that while for nothing , and finde themselves as they are able , and in the end their toyle and labour is all lost : but if they doe hit upon a good Myne that doth hold out , and yield plentifully , then they may quickly enrich themselves ( if they be good husbands . ) I was told of a poore Thatcher that left his Trade , and venturing his time and pains , he found so rich a Lead Myne , that he would turn Gentleman , and he kept men in Liveries , living at the rate of the expence of 100 pound a week ; so that he supposing that Leaden , Golden World would never be ended , took no care to save any thing , but after a while , the Myne failed , and hee spent that little which hee had left in digging for more , could finde none , so that for a conclusion , he forsook the Peake , and turnd Thatcher again . That part of the Peak , which is called the Devils Ars , is at or neere a Towne named Castleton , or Castle Towne , so stiled from an ancient ruined Castle on a Hill , at the end of the Town , it is 30 miles from Darby , the Castle stands on the top of a Hill , and under it is a Cliff or Riffe in the said Hill , which is as wide at the entrance as three Barn doores , but being entred in it is enclosed again so narrow , that a man must stoop to passe further , but after that straight passage is past , there is rooms of incredible and wonderfull greatnesse , with strange and intricate turnings and windings , which no man can see without great store of lights , and by reason that those things are naturall , and formed without any attor labour of man , and with all so dismall hotrid , darke , and hideous , that place is called the Devils Ars a Peak , at or upon which I have ( according to my promise ) given three jerks with my pen , at the latter end of this Book . From thence I returned towards Leicester 30 miles , on the 15 of August , and lodged at a Market Towne called Narbury , and the next day I came all tyred and weary ( both man and beast to Leicester ) and on the 20 day , I took my journey 64 miles into Norfolke , to the famous Town of Linne , and three miles from thence , at a Village called Wooton , I was there well welcomed by Master Richard Miles ( to whom I am and must be a thankfull Brother in Law ) whose loving kindnesse to me was shewed in such extraordinary manner , which because I cannot expresse , I will remayn gratefull with silence . Concerning Linne , it is an excellent Sea-town and strong Port , it is gravely and peaceably governed by a Major , 12 Aldermen , and a Recorder . It hath bin honored by divers , but chiefly by King John 440 yeares since , and by King Henry the Third , the first gave them a faire gilt Cup , which is there to be seene , as a witnesse of his Royall liberality : and who so will know more of Linne , let them goe thither and look the Records of the Town , or else let them read Master Camdens Britania , or the painfull labours of Master Iohn Speed. The troth is , mine Hoast Noble , was a noble Hoast to me , at whose house , my brothers kindred and friends , gave me a friendly farewell . On Tuesday the 27 of August , from Linne to Boston in Lincolnshire 24 miles , where I dined with the right Worshipfull Sir Anthony Thomas Knight , from Boston I road 14 miles to Horn Castle , where I lodg'd the 28 of August . But I crave pardon of the Reader , for I had almost forgotten a merry passage or two which hapned in Norfolke , not farre from Linne : and thus it was . At a place called Priors Thorns , neere to two Towns , namely , Northbery and Sapham , there dwelt a man named Frier , who was rich in substance , but very poore and miserable in his conditions : belike hee had read or heard of a Play that was written 40 years since by Master Benjamin Iohnson , the Play is extant , and is called Every Man out of his Humour , in which Play was acted and personated a mizerly Farmer , that had much corne in his Barnes , and did expect a scant or barren Harvest , that through want and scarcity hee might sell his corne at what deare rates hee pleased , but ( contrary to his wicked hopes ) the Harvest proved abundantly plentifull , wherefore hee being in an extraordinary merry or mad veine , put himselfe to the charge of the buying of a two penny halter , and went into his Barn as secretly as he could , and putting the halter about his neck with a riding knot , he fastned the other end to a beam , and most neatly hang'd himself : But ( as ill luck would have it ) his man presently came into the Barne , and espyde his Master so bravely mounted , the unlucky Knave drew his Knife and cut the halter , crying out for help as lowde as he could , rubbing and chafing his Master with all care and diligence to recover him to life again ; at the last he awak'd out of his traunce , and fetch'd a deep groan , began to stare and look about him ; and taking the end of the cut halter in his hand , his first words to his man was , Sirrah , who did cut this , O Master ( said the fellow ) it was I that did it , and I thank God that I came in good time to doe it , and I pray you to take God in your minde , and never more to hazard your soule and body in such a wicked manner : to which good counsell of the poor fellow , the Caitiffe replyde , Sirrah , If you would be medling ( like a sawey busie Rogue ) you might have untyde it , that it might have serv'd another time , such an unthristy Rascall as thou will never be worth such a halter , it cost me two pence , and I will abate the price of it in thy quarters wages . And when the quarter day came , hee did abate the said two pence , for the which the fellow would dwell no longer with him , but went and got him another service : This was acted really and lately at the place aforesaid , in imitation of that part in the Play , of Every Man out of his Humour . After the said Frier had some Hogs which were like to die with the Murrain , which Hogs he killed and powdred , and his wife , children , and Family , as many as did eat of the Porke , fell sick and dyed all : for the which the slave deserv'd a hanging , and a Hangman , but hee yet lives for some worse purpose . Concerning a paire of Brewers , and a piece of justice . Another short Norfolk Tale is not impertinent . There was one Master Fen a Brewer at Fensham , and one Master Francis Dix a Brewer at Sapkam , this Dix was riding in the Countrey amongst his Customers ( the Inkeepers and Victuallers ) and he call'd for a pot of Ale or Beere as heroad by ; ( now that Ale-house was a Customer to Fen , as soon as Dix had drank , hee asked who brewed that drink , to whom the Hoastesse sayd , that Master Fen of Fensham brewed it ; well said Dix , I dare lay a wager , that I will give my Marc but a peck of Mault , and she shall pisse better drink than this : at the last these words came to Fens hearing , for the which disparagement , he sued Dix , and recovered from him twenty pound damage besides costs , at the Assizes last at Norwich 1639. And now to returne to the narration of my Travels , from whence I have digrest , since I lodg'd at Horne Castle in Lincolneshire . From thence on the 18 of August , I road 30 miles to Barton upon Humber , and the next day ( being Friday ) I tooke a Boat for my selfe , my Squire , and my two Palfreyes , down to Hull , or Kingstone upon Hull , the strength and scituation of which Towne I have formerly written of : and I had no new thing there whereof to make any new Relation : let it suffice , that it is absolutely accounted the strongest and most defensible Town in the Kingdome of England , and for good goverment inferiour to none : I might speak somewhat of their good fellowship ; but my Book would swell big with it , therefore I will pay them with thinking and thanking of them , both my old friends and new acquaintance all in generall . The 31 of August I left Hull , and road to Holden 16 miles , and on the morrow I road to Cowood Castle , to see the most Reverend Doctor Neale , the Lord Archbishop of Yorke his Grace , whom in all humility I do acknowledge my self much bound in duty daily to pray for , and remember him with unfained reverend thankfulnesse , not only for the undeserved favours and bounty which his Grace extended towards mee now , but for many other former approvements of his Graces love and liberality , when his Grace liv'd neere mee at Winchester House . At Dinner with his Grace , I had the happinesse to renew my Acquaintance with the Noble and Worthy Knight Sir Francis Wortley ? who most courteously invited and commanded me to visit him in my journey , of which more followeth . My humble thanks rememberd to the right worthy worshipfull Knight Sir Paul Neale , with his fair and vertuous Lady , as also my Gratefull remembrance to all my Lords Gentlemen and Servants , to whose loves and for whose friendships I shall ever acknowledge my selfe an ingaged Debter . Thus having past the Sunday with my Lords Grace , and those other before named Gentlemen . On Munday the second of September , I took my Breakfast and my leave both of Cowood , and road to Yorke , where I visited the worthy Knight ( my old acquaintance ) Sir Arthur Ingram , with whom , I thank his Worship , I dined , and also had some other token of his love and bounty , for the which I remayn thankfull . Of Yorke I have but little to say , though it be a great , a faire , and the second City in England , built 989 years before our Saviours Birth , by Ebrank King of this Land , from whom the City is called Eboracensis , this Ebrank is said to have 21 Wives , by whom he had 20 sonnes , and 70 daughters : he raigned here when as King Solomon Raigned in Ierusalem ; hee overran France , he builded Alclaid , or Dumbritton in Scotland , hee founded York , hee erected a Temple there , and therein plac'd a Flamine to Diana : but after ( in King LUCIUS time ) Elutherius pull'd downe the said Idolatrous wooden Temple , and displac'd the Flamine , and caused tho Minster to be built in that magnificent manner of free stone , placing there an Archbishop ; severus the Roman Emperour dyed there , and also there dyed the Emperour Flavius Vallerius Constantius ( which some call Chlorus ) those that will know more of York , let them reade Chronicles and larger Volumes . The Lord Major of Yorke was ( at my being there , one Sir Roger Iaques Knight , a Gentleman of approved wisdome and government : myself did not stay three houres , and myne Hoast Master Corney at the Talbot , told mee all the news which I heard there , which was a fellow , that ( amongst other offenders ) was the first that was hang'd , and the last that was cut down , and being put into the grave or pit , with his fellows , when the earth was cast upon them , he began to stir and recover life , and was return'd to the Gaole is now there living , and able to report truly what hanging is , Probatum est . From Yorke I rode after Dinner to Tadcaster , and so to a place called Kidell , where at a poore Ale-house I was glad of entertainment , and had the company of a Tinker who made pretty Musique with his Banbury Kettle-drum , there was also with him two Drovers and 35 Hogs , which were to be driven on the morrow seven miles further to Leeds Market , this good lodging and company , I past the night with all , and on the morrow , I road to the Town of Leeds ; of which Towne I must say somewhat . This Town is ( for the bignesse of it ) one the most populous Towns in England , it hath in it above 12000 people , and having but one Church there , it was not halfe capable to receive so great a Congregation , they were extremly thronged and dangerously crowded ( especially in the heat of Summer , or sultry contagious weather ) that the most part of the people were inforc'd eyther to go two or three miles severall ways to other Village Churches , or else to stay at home and want the hearing of Gods Word , and the meanes of their salvation . The care and consideration of these Grievances entred into the pious minde of one Master John Harrison Gentleman there , ( now living ) so that God opened his heart , that of his owne proper costs he caused a Church to be built ( though it have but the name of a Chappell ) which is so large , that it will contain 4000 people , it is so neatly compacted and framed , with exquisite art of carving and Masonry , with painting , gilding , polishing , embellishing , and adorning , with a most stately Roofe , a fair losty Tower or Steeple , a sweet Ring of Bels ; besides the admirable and costly Joyners and Carvers Workmanship in the Font , Pulpit , Pewes , Chancell , Communion Boord , and all other things and ornaments for the decent adornment of such a House consecrated and dedicated to the Service of God. I do absolutely affirme , that neither the Church or the Founder hath any fellows to be found . This Chappell is called by the name of Saint Iohn Evangolist , it hath a faire Churchyard for Burials , well and strongly walled about , and at the West end of the Church-yard , the said Gentleman hath founded a faire Almse-house , and therein placed 21 poore aged people ; also hee hath founded and finished a faire School-house for the instruction of youth , and a fine sweet street hee hath built on both sides in a uniforme and faire manner , with Houses : the Rents whereof are for the mayntenance of the Almes-houses , the Schoole , and Reparations of the Church to the end of the World. And I leave this worthy Founder to God for a blessing , and to the World for imitation . From Leeds I went to Wakefield , where if the valiant Pinder had been living , I would have play'd Don Quixot's part , and challenged him ; but being it was so happy that he was dead , I past the Town in peace to Barnsley , and so to Wortley , to Sir Francis Wortleyes ancient House . The entertainment which himselfe , his good Lady , and his most faire and hopefull daughter gave mee there , as I never did or can deserve , so I never shall be able to requite , to talke of meat , drinke , money , and free welcome for Horse and Man , it were but a meer foolery for me to begin , because then I should run myself into a Labyrinth , out of which I should hardly finde the way : Therefore to his Worship , my humble thanks remembred , and everlasting happinesse wished , both to him and all that is his . Yet I cannot forbeare to write a little of the further favour of this Noble Knight . Upon the fourteenth of September afternoon , he took horse with mee , and his Lady and daughter in their Coach , with some other Servants on horseback ; where three miles we rode over Rocks and Cloud-kissing Mountains , one of them is so high , that ( in a cleere day ) a man may from the top thereof see both the Minsters or Cathedrall Churches , Yorke and Lincolne , neere 60 miles off us ; and as it is to be supposed , That when the Devill did looke over Lincolne , as the Proverbe is ) that hee stood upon that Mountaine ) or neer it : Sir Francis brought me to a Lodge , the place is called Wharncliffe , where the Keeper dwels , who is his man , and keeps all this Woody , Rocky , Stony , Vast Wildernesse under him , for there are many Deere there , and the Keeper were an Asse if he would want Venison , having so good a Master . Close to the said Lodge , is a Stone in burthen at the least 100 cart loads , the top of it is foure square ( by Nature ) and about 12 yards compasse , it hath three seats in the forme of Chaires , made by art ( as it were in the front of the Rocke ) wherein three persons may easily sit , and have a view and goodly prospect over large Woods , Towns , Corn-fields , fruitfull and pleasant Pastures , Valleyes , Rivers , Deere , Neat , Sheep ; and all things needful for the life of man : contayned in thousands of Acres and all ( or the better part , belonging to that Noble Knights Ancestors , and himself . Behinde the Stone is a large Inscription ingraven , where in an old character is described the ancient memory of the Wortleys ( the Progenitors to Sir Francis now living ) for some hundreds of yeares , who were Lords and Owners of the said Lands and Demaynes which hee now holds as their right Heire . About a Bow shoot from thence ( by the descent of many rungs of a ladder ) his Worship brought mee to a Cave or Vault in a Rocke , wherein was a Table with feats , and Turfe Cushions round , and in a hole in the same Rock , was three Barrels of nappy liquour , thither the Keeper brought a good Red Deere Pye , cold roast Mutton , and an excellent shooing-born of hang'd Martimas Biefe : which cheer no man living would thinke such a place could afford : so after some merry passages and repast , we returned home . On the fifth of September , I hired a Guide , and rode to Hallifax 16 miles , the ways were so rocky , stony , boggy and mountaynous , that it was a days journey to ride so short a way . At Hallifax I saw the fatall Engine , wherewith they do behead pilfering Thieves , which Sir Francis Wontley told me was set upon this occasion following . This Towne of Hallifax hath ( for time out of minde ) liv'd and subsisted by the rich and laudable Trade of Cloathing , and oftentimes their Cloathes were stolne from the Tenterhooks , ( or Tenters ) whereupon the King ( then Raigning ) upon their humble suite had priviledge granted to the Town for ever : That if a Thiefe were taken , either of these three ways , which is , Handnapping , Back-bearing , or Tongue-telling , that is , either about to steale , or carrying it away , or confessing , that then the party offending ( after triall by a Jury of Townsmen ) if the goods , be it cloth , cattell , or whatsoever is valuable , is judg'd to have their heads struck off with the said Engine , without any Assize or Sessions . Now the Engine is two high pieces of Timber , an ell or yard asunder , fixed and closed on the top , with a crosse piece like a Gallowse ; in the inner sides of the two standing pieces are two gutters , and on the top ( or crosse piece is a pulley through which they do put a small Line or Rope , and fastning it to another heavyer piece of wood of 100 weight ( in which they doe fix the sharp-edge-toole ) then they doe pull or hoyst up the said weight , and the stolne goods is brought to the place of execution with the Malefactor ; now one end of the Rope is made fast to a pinne or stake , which being cut , the Engine fals so ponderously and speedily , that it sovers the head from the body in a moment , but there is no man will or must cut the Line , but the Owner of the stolne goods , which if he do , hee hath all again : if he will not cut it , then he must lose all , and it is employed to some charitable uses ; by which means the Thiefe escapes ; and this is Hallifax law . The sixt day I left Hallifax , and road oversuch wayes as are past comparison or amending , for when I went downe the lofty Mountaine called Blackstone Edge , I thought my selfe with my Boy and Horses had been in the land of Break-neck , it was so steep and tedious , yet I recovered 12 miles to Rochdale , and then I found smooth way to Manchester , and to Sandy Lane end 13 miles ; and to Chester 14 miles , which was the furthest place of my tedious travell . For my short stay at Chester ( which was but one day and two nights , I had good and friendly entertainment , of many Gentlemen , to whom I must rest thankfull , especially to the Worshipfull Master Alderman Edwards , and to Master Wright and his Wife . It was my fortune to see and rejoyce at the sight of the Noble , Right Honorable Earle and Knight of the Renowned Order of Saint George , William Earle of Darby : And although I have no relation to his Lordship or acquaintance with him , yet for the reverend reverend respect which I doe owe and beare to Nobility , it did me good to see so grave and honourable a Peere . The City of Chester , is of ancient erection and fame , it was the Royall Seat of Kings , and there are yet some ruines left of the memorable Pallace of King Edgar , to which Mansion the said King was rowed in a Barge by eight Captives ( or Tributary Kings from Saint Johns ) on the River of Dee , which River there is spoyled and impeached by a bank of stones all over it , onely for theemployment of a Mil or two , which River other ways would be both passable & profitable to the whole Country , for many miles , for the carriage of goods in Boats & Barks . Chester itself is a fair City four square , well walled , with an old ruin'd Castle , which hath beene a strong Fabrick , but now a Gaole , the streets are spacious , the buildings sumptuous , and so contrived , that four or five men may walk in the most parts of a breast , dry from the injury of Raine , or any falling Weather : it is gravely and peaceably governed by a Major and his 12 Brethren , it hath foure Gates and three Posterns , goodly Churches , and chiefly painfull and learned Preachers . And so much for Chester . Onely a merry Tale , of a late true businesse which hapned there ; There dwelt a Bricklayer , a good Workman ( but a good husband ) whose name was Iohn Tilly , who had the good hap to spend all that he got in his lifetime , except two sonnes and one daughter : And being sicke and in his death-bed , there came a poore neighbour to visit him , whom he desired to make or write his last Will and Testament ; the poor man ( having Ink and Paper ) asked him what hee should write ? Quoth honest John Tittle , my estate is but little , but I pray thee write thus . IMprimis , I give and bequeath to my Wife ( for her solace and comfort ) my little Dog , for it is a pretty nimble active Curre , and wil make her some sport which may delight her , and put the grief of my death out of her sad remembrance . Item , I give and bequeath to my eldest sonne John , all my working Tools belonging to my trade of Bricklaying , which as hee may use , may be as available to him , as they have beene to me , and this is the summe of my Will. His youngest sonne standing by , sayd , Father , have you nothing to give mee ? Yes sonne ( quoth hee ) I had almost forgotten thee , but I will leave thee somewhat . Item , I give and bequeath to my sonne George seven foot of ground vnder the Gallowse . Good father take comfort ( said George ) for my hope is that you will recover , and live to enjoy that Legacie your selfe . Then the daughter pray'd him to give her somewhat whereby she might remember his fatherly love , Yes , quoth he , I pray write . Item , I give and bequeath to my onely daughter a Whores conditions and qualities , which as shee may use them , she may live in such estate and fame that she may be mistaken for a Gentlewoman . Lastly , I doe make and ordaine my Neighbour here , my full Executor : and for his paines for writing my Will , I do give him and his heires male for ever , an old shooing-horn . The ninth of September I turn'd my back upon Chester , ( almost without taking leave ) and road 15 miles to Nantwich , the tenth I rode to Stone and to Lichfield , 22 miles . Of the Ancient Town of Lichfield I can say nothing ( by reason of my short stay ) onely there is a faire and curious old Cathedrall Church or Minster . And the Towne hath that priviledge ( as mine Hoast told me ) that they can draw and hang one another , and never trouble any other Judge , Assize , or Sessions . The eleventh I rode to Faseley , Abersom , Hinckley and Dadlington , eighteen miles , where all weary and almost worne out with age and travell , I rested untill Saturday the fourteenth of September , and then rode eight miles to my brother Miles , at my old welcome lodging at Leicester . Newes from Hell , with a short description of the Hell at Westminster . NOt from that Hell where souls tormented lye In endlesse Death , and yet shall never die , Where gnashing cold , commixt with flames still burning , Where 's entrance free , but never back returning : Where nought but horrour , fiends , and torments dwell ; I bring no news from that accursed Hell ; Yet mine own merits are of such low price , To barre me from Celestiall Paradise , And sinke me in that horrid Lake infernall , But that my hope and faith is fixt supernall . The Hell I write of is well known to be A place of pleasure , and for all men free , Where wretched Ghosts are not in torments stayd , For all the pains upon the purse is laid . To finde this Hell you need not travell farre , 'T is understood the high Exchequer Barre At Westminster , and those who thither venter , Do not give Cerberus a sop to enter , For Charons fury , you need never feare it , ( Although ten thousand do land somwhat neer it ) Within this Hell is good content and quiet , Good entertainment , various sorts of diet , Tables a score at once , in sundry places , Where hungry mouthes fall to , and say short Graces , And then ( in some sort ) I may parallell This earthly Hell , with the infernall Hell. Hot sweltring vapours , Pots , and Cauldrons boyling , Great vehement fires , with roasting , stewing , broyling ; The Cooks & Scullions , all be smear'd and smoak'd , And in their Masters Grease well stew'd & soak'd , And had the Devill a stomack unto it , The Cook himselfe is not the rawest bit . Like as th' infernall Hell doth entertain All commers , so this Hell doth not refrain To give free welcome unto every one If money fayle not , there 's excepted None . This Hell is govern'd by a worthy Duke That Pluto like , his under fiends rebuke , There the tormenting Tapster is control'd , If courteously he Nick not ( as he should ) He must attend at every knock and rap , His reverend Iugge deckt with a frothy cap , He fils and empts , and empts and fils again Like Sisyphus , he toyles , but not so vain , Like Danaus daughters , taking up , and spilling , He 's always emptying , and he 's never filling . Thither the Counsellour for comfort comes To rince his toyling tongue , and wash his gums , The Client having Tityus empty maw ( His guts tormented with the Vulture Law ) He comming to this Hell may finde reliefe , Of comfortable Plumbroath , and Roast Biefe . There , for your solace you may feed upon Whole Seas of Pottage , hot as Phlegeton , And midst those Seas , by art , the Cooks hath laid Small Iles of Mutton , which you may invade With stomack , knife and spoon , or tooth and naile , With these , the victory you cannot faile . Therefore this earthly Hell is easier farre , Then where the miserable damned are , There 's no redemption from that black Abisse , And here regresse , as well as egresse is , Therefore they falsly do mistake the story , To call this Hell , which is but Purgatory , For here 's no Thraldome , from this place you may Get present freedome , if the shot you pay . Here followeth three Satyricall Lashes or Jerks , given with the Pen of the Authour , at or upon the Devil 's Ars a Peak . PEns , are most dangerous Tools , more sharp by ods Then Swords , and cut more keene then Whips or Rods ; Therefore ( most high and mighty Duke of Dis ) C●mmander where the Lake Avernus is , Great Lord of Limbo , S yx , and Phlegeton , Of Tartarus , Gehenna , Acheron , Most potent Monarch of black Erebus , Prince of the Triple-headed Cerberus , Sole Emperour of Darknesse , and dark works , Master of Hereticks , Infidels and Turks , Arch-flammin of hot Tophets smouldring flames , King of Cocytus , and th' infernall streams , Earle of all Errors , and chief Dominator Of all sins done , by Earth , Ayre , Land , or Water , Viscount , and Baron of large Barathrum , Since I have liv'd to come so neare your Bum , As is your wicked Worships Ars a Peake , Though some men think my Muse is all too weake ; I with my Pen doe meane to yerke and ferke ye , And ( as I promis'd ) with three jerkes will jerkeye . I know that many fooles will jeere and frumpe , That I durst come so neare the Divells Rumpe , And lash with my poore penne Satyricall , This great Don Diego Diabolicall : But I would have him and his friends to know , I jeere him not , for all his Bug-bare show : 'T is knowne that he , and all that him attend , To any Poet never was a friend : And therefore now I daring him oppose , And jerke his hellish Majesty in Prose . ALthough you ( great Master of the perpetuall Hot-house ) Don sel de Lucifer , have on the Earth in all places and Countries many multitudes of damnable sonnes , friends , and servants , to oppose mee and take your part , yet I being come so neer your Podex , must jerk your breech with my Satyre Pendragonly Goose quill , you know that reproofe is as ill taken as correction by the ungracious . Therefore although you are so bad that you are quite past any mending , yet your gracelesse Majesty may be lawfully touch'd by reprehending ; you have been a Cheater ever since the Creation , and in that Art of Coozening , youfirst cheated your selfe of everlasting happinesse , and gained thereby perpetuall perdition , and ever since you have play'd Hocus Pocus , and with your tricks , sleights , and jugling Legerdemayne , done your best to draw all the whole Race of Mankinde after you into your Kingdome of Cimerian Tenebrositie ; you taught our first Parents Infidelity , Pride , Disobedience and Lying , which qualities of theirs are so naturally descended to us , that ( by your industrious instigation ) we do continually shew ( by our lives and conversations ) of what house wee came . By their example of believing too much in you , we are growne incredulous in things which most concerns our better and best of being , and wee are so inur'd and practisde in lying , ( by your inspiration being the father of lyes ) that wee are doubtfull to believe one another . And yet ( like the Cretans ) with long use and custome , wee doe many times believe our own lyes to be true . May it please your infernall Hell-hood to take into your execrable consideration , that you were the first inventer of the most ignoble Science of Offence , you taught Caine the Imbrocado , and shewed him how to murder his Brother , and from that time to this , the Art of Murdering , Killing , and Cutting Throats hath beene universally and perfectly learned and practised . You have beene the inventer of all manner of destroying Weapons , from the high degree of the Welsh-hook , to the lower descent of the Taylors Bodkin ; and in these later times you ( with the helpe of a Frier ) have devisde a burning , smouldring , most Hellish and undefencible mischief that murders men by heaps , and ( with a powder ) can blow whole Kingdomes into the Firmament ; and for the innumerable Engines that are daily used and cast for such uses , your most high and Imperiall malediction have declared your selfe an excellent Artist , from the double Cannon to the Elder Gun-mines , Countermines , Petards , Granadoes , Fire-works , Wild-fire , and the Devill and all doe continually seek and worke the destruction of miserable Mankinde . You are a great Traveller , and will take the paînes to compasse the whole earth to finde a just man , on purpose to doe him a mischiefe , but for a crew of common Drunkards , Rascals , Bawds and Whores , you know you need not wet your foot to seek them , they are your own already , and by your good will , you would fill Hell so full , that Heaven should have but a few . And so let that passe for one and the first Jerke . SEcondly , you know that there is but one narrow way to happinesse , and many wayes to your Zona Torrida , Frigida , ( for all those large wayes doe meet in one at the last , and bring poore soules into your pestiferous Pursnet ) some go by the way of Sodome , to finde out your most damnable Mansion , some by the way of Incest , some by Adultery , some by Fornication ( for they say you are the Master of the Honourable and Worshipfull Company and Brother-hood of the Fornicators ) in which regard you are a great friend to Parators & Panders . You shew'd Cham the way how to deride his father , by which example a company of Chammists , have ever since practised not onely to mock , scoff , and abuse their naturall parents , but also to contemne , raile and revile against Kings and Princes , who are the Royall Fathers of Terrestriall Government , and further to despise , slight , and libell against the most Reverend Fathers , the Stewards and painfull Dispensers of the spirituall food of Eternity ; you directed Corah and his Complices the high rode-way to murmur ; Achitophel to give wicked counsell , and Absolon to rebel and usurpe ; you shewed Ioab the way to Treachery , Achan tosteale , Iobs wife to abuse her husband , from whom the most part of women ( like apt schollers ) are very expert in that kinde of miserable mystery . You put Gehezi into the high-way of taking a bribe , and it is too well known what a wicked number of followers he hath had of all degrees , from the Scepter to the Swain , from the black Gown to the buckrum bag . You directed Nabal ( who Anagrammatized or lead backward is Laban ) to be as churlish as a Hog , from whom miserable Dives hath perfectly learn'd the way to true misery , you taught Nimrod the way to tyrannize , and enclose and encroach upon Land and Territories , which hath beene the bounding , mounding , and curtalling of Commons . The raysing of Ambition , Pride , Voluptuousnesse , and such earthly vertues of accursed Greatnesse , and to the Almighty making of Beggers . You tye fast the Rich mans purse , and let loose the poore mans curse , you instructed Pharaoh , Senacherib , and Rabsheka in the way ofblasphemy , and from those Hellish presidents their wickednesse is daily impiously imitated , Shimei was one of your Anathema profound Schollers , and from you hee learn'd to curse the Lords Anointed extempore : once ( as I have read ) you were so addicted to peace and unity that you made Herod and Pilate friends , who were hatefull enemies , but afterwards your Hypocrisie was found , that it was your plot to destroy innocence : you made Demas to forsake the Truth , and embrace the World ( your wicked sister : ) you have never been unprovided of a kennell of Whores , Queans , and Concubines , to tempt and draw the wisest men to folly , and for him that is most strong ( in his owne opinion ) you have alwayes one darling sinne or other to fit his disposition , constitution , inclination , or humour , that like a Dalilah shall weaken him , or quite overthrow him . And this shall suffice for the second Ierke . THirdly and lastly , you know that your end draws nigh , and therefore now you rave , rage , and are more mad then ever you were , you know that after Doomsday , that you shall have no more power over Mortals , then you shall be for ever chain'd in your Denne like a Dogge in a Kennell ; and therefore now you with all double diligence , doe endevour to doe your best to doe your worst , and as much as in you lyeth , you draw us from bad to worse , and from worse to worst . The Hypo crite ( by your intcitement ) doth vizard all his villany , with the maske or veile of vertue ; hee follows the steps of Ananias and Saphira to a haire , hee with his sower looke shrowds a lofty minde . You have scatterd pride into as many shapes as Proteus , so that a proud fashion hunter ( if either money or credit will furnish him ) will transforme himselfe into as many formes as you can do ; our Roarers ( who by your pestiferous favour are stiled the damn'd crue ) are so given to most unhallowed meditation , that they lie a bed almost till Dinner time to study new oaths , to vent at this Ordinary , at Bowls , Cock-fighting , Horse-race , Whore-house , or any other place of Gentleman like or noble exercise ; and as you have taught them to sweare without feare , so they doe often forsweare without shame : although sometimes they hazzard their eares , as they doe their souls . Youset bad Projectors ( and unprofitable ) a work , as thick as Crab-lice or Caterpillers , and it is no doubt but you will deale so justly with them , that you will pay them their wages , & after you have set them a gog ( with a vengeance ) to doe injury with a mischiefe . You are so skilfull in Physicke , that you have made too many believe that the losse of a Mayden-head is an approved and speedy Medicine for the Green sicknesse . Poets , Painters ( and some few Courtiers ) you have so well taught that they can flatter most artificially with Pen , Picture , and by word of mouth . It is long of you that what ever the Choplin and the Chaplin liath , yet the thin-check'd Chiplin hath nothing at all . I know a poore Curate that comes and goes a mile every Sunday , be it Winter or Summer , all manner of weathers , sometimes wet to the skin , and preaches once a week ( on Sundays ) for bare five pound a yeare , the Tythe being valued at fix y pound per annum , so that the miserable Stipend or Hireling wages will hardly buy wood to make a fire for him when hee comes home to dry him , when hee s through wet . This is your worke ( Monsieur Diabola ) for it is your inspiration to put such wrangling spirits into Impropriatours , that for the not paying of a tenth Pudding or a tythe Egge the Law must take his course . You have brought the Schismaticall Separatist to be as unconformable as your selfe , for ( like you ) they cannot bide theCrosse or the signe of it ( if it be not upon money ) and you have made them as unmannerly as your selfe , for they will not move a Hat , or Bow a Knee at the Name of our Saviour , and they are wax'd as slovenly as you can make them , for they hate clean Linnen , and all order , neatnesse and decency in the Church ; And you have long practiz'd a politick slight , which is , that when a Reverend Pastor is painfully and carefully preaching to his Audience , instructing them how to avoid your snares and traps ; then you are so angry and impatient when you are told of your faults , and heare your damnable devices laid open , that you could afford to pull the Preacher out of the Pulpit by the eares , or to teare him in pieces , but that hee is so happy that you have no power over him : your inveterate malice being limited , curb'd , and snaffled by an unresistable High and omnipotent power , and hee very well understands and knowes in whose service he is , and whose Embassage he delivers , and therefore is so valiant that he neither feares or cares a rush for you ; which your imperiall malevolence perceiving , you have another trick for him , which is to lull the people asleep , ( of which number many times the best of the Parish are some ) by which means you do debarre them of what they should heare , and in the mean time , the Preacher speaks to the bare walls . And I am perswaded that is against your will , that there is any good Preacher living , and seeing they do live ( in despight of you ) and that by their care & industry they doe now and then violently plucke a soule from you , in revenge thereof you chiefly seek their confusion , either by war , slander , or starving them through want of means . Yet this much may be spoken as one of your good parts , which is , that you were never known to be drunke , and though you never walke uprightly , yet you never stumbled , you were never so fox'd but you knew the way home ( and the troth is , you are so bold , that you would make every place your home . ) The Court , the City , the Country , the Pallace , the Castle , the Cottage , and the Church and all , you are so audacious either to enter them by force , or else to insinuate and sneak into them by craft and subtilty . And though you are no drunkard , yet you doe love the whole Rabble of them so well , that you are unwilling to lose one of them all , but my hope is better . For if they leave it and mend their manners as they should do , the Devill the one of them you are like to have . You have the art to make great Scholler to learne Retrograde , for if a man be never so good a Grammarian , and hath Greek and Latine as perfect as Homer or Virgil , yet ( if he be married ) you doe too often teach his wife the way to reade him backward , like an Hebrician , and though he be never so well skild in learned Volumes , and the seven liberall Arts , yet shee puts him againe into his Horn-book . You have so much Devotion in you , that you doe assist those Brethren that doe pray zealously , that they may be disobedient with a safe conscience , and you make them so stout and valiant that some of them are more able to doe more service in a white sheet then the honestest man in a whole Shire can doe . You know that the Projector would be an honest man if hee did not keep company with himselfe , therefore you might do somwhat to be talk'd off , if you would separate him . It is a scurvy fashion of your devising , that wisemen in Russet , must reverence and stand bare to silken fools ; but to conclude , you have gotten such a freedome that you have a finger in all Trades , and an Oare in every mans Boat , nor was there ever any bad thought , word , or deed , imagined , spoken , or commited since the Creation , but you were at the middle and both ends of it ; and I do remember that I have read how once you bragged , boasted and promised to give all the kingdomes of the world to be worshipped , and afterward you were in that poore roguish case , that you were faine to aske leave to take possession of a silly Hog . In which manner of vain-glorious oftentation , bragging and boasting , the most part of men are expert , and to promise much , and performe nothing , is so easie a lesson of your teaching , that many great men are more ready and perfit in it then in their Pater nester . And now you Grand Master of mischief , you may trusse up your hose , for at this time my Pen is worn blunt , my Inkhorn dry and myselfe weary with jerking , where correction is in pain , and no possibility of no amendment . Thus after the expence of much money , and ten weeks time , having ridden 645 miles ( of sandry measures and sizes ) all weary and almost monylesse , I returned to London on Friday the twentieth of September , 1639. FINIS . 
A13486	----	The praise and vertue of a iayle, and iaylers With the most excellent mysterie, and necessary vse of all sorts of hanging. Also a touch at Tyburne for a period, and the authors free leaue to let them be hanged, who are offended at the booke without cause. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1623 Approx. 52 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 19 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-09 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13486 STC 23785 ESTC S118256 99853463 99853463 18846 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13486) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18846) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1157:19) The praise and vertue of a iayle, and iaylers With the most excellent mysterie, and necessary vse of all sorts of hanging. Also a touch at Tyburne for a period, and the authors free leaue to let them be hanged, who are offended at the booke without cause. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [36] p. Printed by I[ohn] H[aviland] for R[ichard] B[adger], London : 1623. Partly in verse. Printer's name from STC. Signatures: A-B C⁴ (-A1, C4). Running title reads: The vertue of a iayle, and necessitie of hanging. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Title page mutilated; A3 repaired with some blurring of print; cropped at fore-edge. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Jails -- England -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2003-04 SPi Global Rekeyed and resubmitted 2003-06 Jennifer Kietzman Sampled and proofread 2003-06 Jennifer Kietzman Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-08 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE PRAISE AND VERTVE OF A Iayle , and Iaylers . WITH THE MOST EXCELLENT 〈…〉 sterie , and necessary vse of all sorts of HANGING . ALSO 〈…〉 ch at Tyburne for a Period , 〈…〉 uthors free leaue to let them 〈…〉 , who are offended at the 〈…〉 ke without cause . By IOHN TAYLOR . LONDON , Printed by I. H. for R. B. 1623. TO THE SENSEABLE , Reasonable , Affable , Amiable , Acceptable , minded Honourable , in Wit , Iudgement , and Vnderstanding Able , Robert Rugge Gentleman , Reare Adelantado of the HOLY ILAND , the FAIRNE , and the STAPLES , on the Coast of NORTHVMBRIA . NO Hanging , Tap'strie , Quilt , or Couerlet , This dedication of my wit could get : No Mattresse , Blanket , Sheet , or Fetherbed , Could haue these labours of my working head : But ( cold by Nature ) from my Nurses dugge , My inclination still hath lou'd a Rugge : Which makes my thankfull Muse thus bold to be , To consecrate this worthlesse worke to thee ; Thou that within those happie Iles doest bide , Which Neptunes waues doe from our land diuide , Wherein the Holy Iland stands a Fort That can defend , and iniuries retort , That doth command a goodly Hauen nigh , Wherein a hundred Ships may safely lie : Thou in the Farne and Staples bearst such sway , That all the dwellers there doe thee obey ; Where Fowle are all thy faire inhabitants , Where thou ( Commander of the Cormorants , ) Grand Gouernour of Guls , of Geese and Ganders , O're whom thou art none of the least Commanders , Whereas sometimes thou canst not stirre thy legs , But thou must tread on tributarie Egs , For they like honest , true , plaine dealing folkes , Pay thee the Custome of their Whites and Yolkes , Which to thy friends oft times transported be , As late thou sentst a barrell full to me : And in requitall to so good a friend , This Prisone , and this Hanging here I send . Because within the b Fairne and Staples too , The dwellers doe as they doe please to doe ; Their pride and lust , their stealing & their treason , Is all imputed to their want of reason ; I therefore haue made bold to send thee this , To shew them what a Iayle and Hanging is . Thou hast from Hermes suck'd the Quintessence Of quicke Inuention , and of Eloquence , And thou so well doest loue good wittie Bookes , That makes thee like Apollo in thy lookes : For Nature hath thy Visage so much grac'd , That there 's the Ensigne of true friendship plac'd . A Chaulkie face , that 's like a Pewter spoone , Or Buttermilke , or Greene cheese , or the Moone , Are either such as kill themselues with care , Or hide-bound miserable wretches are . Giue me the man whose colour and prospect , Like Titan when it doth on Gold reflect , And if his purse be equall to his will , Hee 'le then be frolicke , free , and Iouiall still : And such a one ( my worthy friend ) art thou , To whom I dedicate this Pamphlet now ; And I implore the Heau'ns to proue so kinde , To keepe thy state according to thy minde . Yours , with my best wishes , IOHN TAYLOR . THE VERTVE of a IAYLE , and necessitie of Hanging . MY free borne Muse of Bondage rudely treats , And strange vagaries in my Braine-pan beats : Whilst I vnmaske , vnuisor , or vnueile , The vertues of a Iaylor , and a Iayle ; And then of Hanging , and the Hangmans Art My lines doe end , and at the Gallowes part . First I doe finde , in Histories enrold , Iayles for antiquity , are very old : For Ioseph was in Prison , ( false accus'd , That he his Masters Wife would haue abus'd . ) And all the world doth vnderstand , a Prison Is not an vpstart Fable , newly risen . And Ieremie , was vnder bolts and locks , By Pashur once imprison'd in the stocks : And after that he twice was put in Thrall , For true foretelling Israel , Iudah's fall . The Sacred Histories doe well declare , That Prisons for their time most ancient are . Yet though my lines doe speake of Iayles , I see That mine inuention and my Muse is free : And I doe finde the name of Prisone , frames Significant Alluding Anagrams . As thus . 1. PRISONE . Anagramma . NIP SORE . THere men are Nip'd with mischiefes manifold , With losse of freedome , hunger , thirst , & cold ▪ With Mourning shirts , and sheetes , & lice some store ; And thus a Prison truly doth Nip sore . 2. PRISONE . Anagramma . IN ROPES . AGaine the very word portends small hopes , For he that 's in a Prisone is In Ropes . 3. PRISONE . Anagramma . IN PROSE . TO all good verses Prisons are great foes , And many Poets they keepe fast In Prose . 4. PRISONE . Anagramma . NO PRISE . INdeed it is no profit , or No Prise , But woefull purchase of calamities . The name of Iayles ( by letters transposition ) Doth very well discouer their condition . 5. IAYLES . Anagramma . I SLAYE . ANd well it doth befit it euery way , The Nature of all Iayles is still to slay : There are men slaine most strange tormenting waies , In name , fame , state , and life , with long delaies . 6. BONDAGE . Anagramma . BANDOGE . ANd Bondage like a Band●gge still doth gnaw , Fangd with the tushes of the byting law . 7. IAYLER . Anagramma . I RAYLE . THis doth befit the Iayler wondrous trimme , He at the prisoners railes , and they at him . 8. ARESTING . Anagramma . A STINGER . A Resting very well with this agrees , It is A Stinger worse than Wasps or Bees . OR , 9. ARESTING . Anagramma . IN GRATES . THis very word includes poore prisoners fates , Aresting briefly claps em vp In Grates . 10. SERIEANT . Anagramma . IN ARESTE . TO turne this word vnto the very best , A Serieant In Areste doth breed vnrest . OR , 11. SERIEANT . Anagramma . IN TEARES . IN cares and Teares he leaues men to lament , When Credit , Coine , and goods , and all is spent . 12. WARDES . Anagramma . DRAVVES . A Prisoners purse is like a Nurse , for why His Ward or lodging drawes or sucks it dry : A Iu●y here of Anagramms you see , Of Serieants and of ●ailes empanneld be , And now my pen intends to walke a station , And talke of Prisons in some other fashion . That Iailes should be , there is Law , sense and reason , To punish Bawdry , Cheating , Theft and Treason , Though some against them haue inuectiue bin , And cal'd a Iaile a magazin of sin , An Vniuersity of Villany , An Academy of foule blasphemy , A sinke of drunkennesse , a den of Theeues , A Treasury for Serieants and for Shreeues , A Mint for Baylifes , Marshalls men and Iailors , Who liue by losses of captiu'd bewailers : A Nurse of Roguery , and an earthly hell , Where Deuils or Iaylers in mens shapes doe dwell : But I am quite contrary to all this , I thinke a Iaile a Schoole of vertue is , A house of study and of contemplation , A place of discipline and reformation , There men may try their patience , and shall know , If they haue any friends aliue or no : There they shall proue if they haue fortitude , By which all crosses stoutly are subdude , A Prison leades the Creditor vnto His cozning debter , that would him vndo , T is Physicke that preserues a common wealth , Foule Treasons snaffle and the curbe of stealth , The whip of hellish pride , the scourge of lust , The good mans helpe in plaguing the vniust . Were Theeues and Villaines not in prison put , A world of Throats ( past number ) would be cut : For when diseases are growne desperate , then They must haue desperate Remedies , and when Men mend not for Reproofe , or Admonition , A Iaile then is the Surgion or Physitian . The roaring Knaue , that like a Horse or Mule , His parents , master , or no friends could rule , But that he daily would be drunke and sweare , And like a demy-deuill domineere , Thogh to good course he neuer meant to bend him , A prison at the last will mend or end him . The deeds of darknesse that doe hate the light , Fraies , brawls & bloudshed which start out by night : The watch like cunning Fowlers lie in wait , And catch these Woodcocks in their Sprindges strait , These Birds are in the Iaile mew'd vp from riot , Where they may learne more manners and be quiet . A Iail's a glasse wherein old men may see , The blemish of their youths deformity ; And young men quickly may perceiue from thence , The way to wisdome and experience . And though the lights of prisons are but dim , A prisoners candle yet may shew to him At midnight , without light of Sunne or Moone , More than he euer could perceiue at noone ; It shewes the fleeting state of earthly pelfe , It makes him wisely learne to know himselfe , The world vnto his view it represents , To be a Map or masse of discontents , It shewes his fained friends like Butter-flies , That dogg'd his summer of prosperities : And in a word it truly doth set forth The world , and all that 's in it nothing worth . These things vnto a wisemans iudgement brings , A ha●e to earth , and loue to heauenly things . T'a wise man nothing in a Iaile doth bide , But it to some good vse may be applide : He heares a Ruffin sweare , and so doth heare That he doth stand in feare , and hate to sweare , He spies another drunke , and so doth spy That such vnmanly beastlinesse hee le fly . He notes the curtall Cans halfe fild with froth , Tobacco piping hot , and from them both His iudgement doth discerne , with wisdomes eie , The world is vapour , froth , and vanity . His homely Bed and Vermines sundry formes , Doth make him mind his graue , & crawling worms ; The Spiders Cobweb , Lawne , or Tapestry , Shewes odds 'twixt Idlenesse and Industry . The Churlish Keepers , ratling chaines and fetters , The Hole or Dungeon for condemned debters , Blaspheming wretches of all grace bereauen , Doth make him thinke on hell and wish for heauen . And thus though wise mens corps in prison be , Their minds are still at liberty and free . Besides Experience daily teacheth this , The Soule a Prisoner in the Body is : Our Reason should the Keeper be to guide , The Heart doth lodge within the Masters side ▪ The Braines the Knights Ward may be termed fit , There lies the Vnderstanding and the Wit : The Dungeons where the Prisoners starue and die , Is in the Brest where sad despaire doth lie : Our Sinnes the Manacles , and Bolts and Ginos , Which fetter vs in bondage all our liues : Sad melancholy sorrow , griefe and care , Continuall waiters in those Prisons are , Our partiall selfe-loue all our crimes excusing , Our Consciences true euidence accusing , Our sighs and teares the Messengers we send To God , that all our sorrowes may haue end , And then through faith and hope we doe beleeue , To gaine a pardon better than repreeue , Then lastly death doth free the soule from thrall , And makes a Iaile deliuery vnto all . Thus is our flesh the walls , our bones the grates , Our eies the windowes , and our mouthes the gates , The Nose the Chimny , Kitchen is the brest , Our tongue the taster of the worst and best , Our hands the Caruers , teeth the Cookes to mince , The diet of a Peasant or a Prince ; Our hunger is best sawce , as I doe thinke , Our bellies sellers where we lay our drinke : And in these corps of ours deciphered thus , Our soules are prisoners vnto all of vs. As grace guides vs , so we by grace guide them , The way vnto the new Ierusalem . Sterne rugged winter , with frosts , stormes and gusts , Close prisoners yeerely in the earth it thrusts , Herbs , roots , flowers , fruits , & worms til sun & raine With Summers heat doth baile them forth againe . But of all men aliue , I find a Tailor Is an approued artificial Iailor : Some doe commit themselues vnto his charge , And may but will by no meanes goe at large . I haue seene many in the Taylors Iailes , Haue labour'd till they sweat with tooth and nailes , ( The whilst a man might ride fiue miles at least ) To get their clothes together on the brest , And being then in prison button'd vp , So close that scarcely they could bite or sup , Yet I haue heard their pride how loud it lide , Protesting that their clothes were made too wide : These men loue bondage more then liberty , And 't is a gallant kinde of foolery , When thus amongst themselues they haue a Law , To decke and dawbe the backe , and pinch the Maw . Me thinkes their soules should be in mighty trouble , Poore Animals , they are imprison'd double ; In Corps and Clothes , and which is true and plain , They seeme to take great pleasure in their paine . A Shoomaker 's a kind of Iailor too , And very strange exploits he dares to doe : For many times he hath the power and might , To clap into his Stocks a Lord or Knight , The Madam and the Maid he cares not whether , He laies them all fast by the heeles in lether . Plaine Honesty and Truth , both Prisoners are , Although they seldome come vnto the barre , Yet are they kept so closely day and night , That in an age they scarcely come in sight . And but for many of our Countries pillers , True Tailers , Weauers , and cleane finger'd Millers , Good Serieants and kind Brokers did releeue them , I know not who would any comfort giue them . No doubt but many a Lasse that faine would wed , Is her owne Iailor to her maiden head , With much vnwillingnesse she keepes it close , And with her heart shee le gladly let it lose . But looke to 't wenches , if you giue it scope , 'T is gone past all recouery , past all hope , Much like old Time which ceaselesse doth run on , But neuer doth returne once being gone . The Gowt's a sawcy Prisoner , and will haue His keepers to maintaine him fine and braue ; His Iailors shall no needy beggers bee , But men of honour and of high degree , And ouer them he beares such great command , That many times they can nor goe nor stand ; And if he would breake Iaile and flie , 't is thought , He by his keepers neuer should be sought . And mony is close Prisoner I thinke sure , Where no man can its liberty procure : The Deuils Stewards and his Bailifes vow , That monies freedome they will not allow , Vnlesse vnto a Miser or a Whore , But by all meanes fast hold it from the poore . I wish Coine were as painfull as the Gout , To ●hose that hoard it ; and I make no doubt But miserable Iailers would agree To ope their Prisons , and let money flee . And were it not a lamentable thing , That some great Emperour or some mighty King Should be imprison'd by a vassall slaue , And lodg'd aliue ( as 't were within his Graue . ) Such is the case of Siluer and of Gold , The chiefest of all mettals fast in hold , And darknesse lies held in the Misers stocks , In steele and yron bars , and ●o●ts and locks . Though gold and siluer royall mettals be , Yet are they slaues to yron as we see . But leauing Gold and Gowt , ●e turne my pen , To what I haue digrest from Iayles and men : Let man examine well himselfe , and he Shall find himselfe his greatest enemie ; And that his losse of liberty and pelfe , He can accuse none for it , but himselfe ; How passions , actions , and affections cluster , And how to ruinate his state they muster , His frailty armes his members and his senses , To vndertake most dangerous pretences . The backe oft tempts him vnto borrowed brauery , And all his body suffers for 't in slauery ; His Belly tempts him to superfluous fare , For which his corps lies in a Iaylors snare ; His Eyes from beauty to his heart drawes lust , For which he 's often into prison thrust , His Eares giue credit to a knaue or theefe , And 's body suffers for his eares beleefe . His Tongue much like a Hackney goes all paces , In City , Country , Court and Campe , all places , It gallops and false gallops , trots and ambles , One pace or other still it runnes and rambles ; Of Kings and Princes states it often prattles , Of Church and Common-wealth it idly rattles , Of passing of it's word and suretiships , For which at last the Iayle the Carkasse nips . Mans Hands haue very oft against him warr'd , And made him of his liberty debarr'd : A stab , a blow , a d●shing of a pen , Hath clap'd him closely in the Iaylors den . The Feet which on the ground men daily tread , The way to their captiuity doe lead . Now for the inward faculties , I find Some lie in Prison for their haughty mind , Some for their folly , some because too wise , Are mew'd vp in the Iaylors custodies ; Some for much gaming or for recreation , Doe make a Iayle their homely habitation ; And thus it plainely may be proued well , Mans greatest foes within himselfe doe dwell . And now two contraries I will compare , To shew how like and how vnlike they are : A Iayle , our birth , our death , and setting free , These foure doe all agree and disagree ; For all degrees , our birth and life we know Is naturall , one way , for high and low : But death hath many thousand waies and snares , To take our liues away all vnawares . And therefore of our liues it is no doubt , That ther 's but one way in and many out , But to a Iayle there 's many waies to win , Ten thousand tricks and sleights to clap men in : And ther 's but one way out as I doe know , Which is by satisfying what we owe. O west thou the law thy life , dispatch and pay , And from the Prison thou art freed away : Dost thou owe mony , quickly pay thy score , And farewell , goe thy waies man , ther 's the dore . As men in all that 's ill , are Satans Apes , So sundry sinnes bring death in sundry shapes ; Life from the God of life , which is but one , To all degrees one way giues life alone . And so our seuerall frailties , seuerall waies Our wretched Carkasses in prison laies , But ther 's but one way out that e're I saw , Which is by satisfying of the law . The faults we doe in spring-time of our youth , In Summer of our man-hood gather growth : Then Haruests middle age doth make them ripe , Which winters old age doth in prison gripe ; And thus the very seasons of the yeare , Fit emblemes of our thraldome doe appeare . In London and within a mile , I weene , There are of Iayles or Prisons full eighteene , And sixty Whipping-posts , and Stocks and Cages , Where sin with shame and sorrow hath due wages . For though the Tower be a Castle Royall , Yet ther 's a Prison in 't for men disloyall : Though for defence a Campe may there be fitted , Yet for offence , men thither are committed . It is a house of fame , and there is in 't A Palace for a Prince , a Royall Mint , Great Ordnance , Powder , Shot , Match , Bills and Bowes , Shafts , swords , pikes , lances , shouels , mattocks , crows , Bright armor , muskets , ready still I say , To arme one hundred thousand in a day . And last it is a Prison vnto those That doe their Soueraigne or his lawes oppose . The Gatehouse for a prison was ordain'd , 2 When in this land the third king Edward reign'd : Good lodging roomes , and diet it affoords , But I had rather lie at home on boords . Since Richards reigne the first , 3 the Fleet hath beene A Prison , as vpon records is seene , For lodgings and for bowling , there 's large space , But yet I haue no stomacke to the place . Old Newgate I perceiue a theeuish den , 4 But yet there 's lodging for good honest men . When second Henry heere the Scepter swaid , Then the foundation of that gate was laid . But sixty six yeeres ere our Sauiours birth , By Lud was Ludgate founded from the earth , 5 No Iayle for theeues , though some perhaps as bad , That breake in policie , may there be had . The Counter in the Powltry is so old , 6 That it in History is not enrold . And Woodstreet Counters age we may deriue , 7 Since Anno fifteene hundred fifty fiue . For me the one 's too old , and one's too new , And as they bake a Gods name let them brew . Bridewell vnto my memorie comes next ; 8 Where idlenesse and lechery is vext : This is a royall house , of state and port , Which th' eight king Henry built , and there kept Court. King Edward somewhat ere his timelesse fall , Gaue it a way to be an Hospitall , Which vse the city puts it well vnto , And many pious deeds they there doe doe : But yet for Vagabonds and Runnagates , For Whores , and idle knaues , and such like mates , 'T is littell better than a Iayle to those , Where they chop chalke , for meat and drinke and blowes . In this house those that 'gainst their wills doe dwell , Loue well a Bride ( perhaps ) but not Bridewell . Fiue Iayles or Prisons are in Southwarke plac'd , The Counter ( once S. Margrets Church defac'd ) The Marshalsea , the Kings Bench and White Lion , Where some like Tantalus , or like Ixion , The pinching paine of hunger daily feele , Turn'd vp and downe with fickle Fortunes wheele : And some doe willingly make there abode , Because they cannot liue so well abroad . Then ther 's the Clinke , where handsome lodgings be , And much good may it doe them all , for mee . Crosse but the Thames vnto S. Katherins then , There is another hole or den for men . Another in East-Smithfield little better , Will serue to hold a theefe or paltry debter . Then neere three Craues a Iayle for Hereticks , For Brownists , Familists , and Schismaticks . Lord Wentworths Iayle within White Chappell stands , And Finsbury , God blesse me from their hands . These eighteene Iayles so neere the City bounded , Are founded and maintain'd by men confounded : As one mans meat may be anothers bane , The keepers full , springs from the prisners wane ▪ This hath beene still the vse , and euer will , That one mans welfare , comes from others ill . But ( as I said ) mans selfe is cause of all The miseries that to him can befall . Note but our corps , how euery member lies , Their seuerall offices , and faculties : And our owne iudgement will informe vs than , The likenesse 'twixt a prison and a man : For as man hath his limbs and linaments , His sinewes , muscles , nerues , and ligaments : His Panicles , his Arteries , his Veines , His ioynts , his membranes , and his beating braines : So hath a Iayle , Writs , Warrants , and Attachements , Arestings , Actions , Hues , Cries , & Appeachments : With Garnish , Sharing fees , and Habeas Corpus , ( Which feedes some Iaylors fatter than a Porpus ) And last for euerlasting Executions , Vntill the prisoners bodies dissolutions ; And if a man be hurt in legge or arme , Or head , or heele , t is said the man hath harme : If inward griefe doe pinch in any part , The anguish is a terror to the heart , And should a Iayle want these things nam'd before , It quickly would be miserable poore : Like men dismembred or of sense bereft , With scarcely any life or being left . For in mans corps ( like prisners ) alwaies lies His vertues , and his foule iniquities . And which of these his fancy liketh best , Shall still be kept in bondage , or releast . As Wisdome , Bounty , and Humanity . ( Despised in these daies of vanitie ) Some keepe so close , not suffering them to walke , So much as in bare thoughts , or deeds , or talke ; Whilst Folly , and close fisted Niggardize , With Barbarisme , haue ease and liberties . Faith , Hope , and Charitie , are pent vp close , And doubt , despaire , and cruelty let loose . Lust reuels it , rich clad in Robes of Pride : Friendship , and Loue , are liberty denide . Whereby the liberall Arts in number seuen , Are of their liberall liberties bereauen , The whilst the seuen delightfull deadly sinnes The game and glory , of the whole world winnes . The Cardnall vertues , at vnworthy prices , Are made but vassals to all Carnall vices . The Muses are mew'd vp , with woes and wants , Whilst fortune followes knaues , and Ignorants ; And thus within mans little Common-weale , He like a partiall Iaylor oft doth deale : Permits his goodnesse neuer to appeare , And lets his badnesse ramble any where . So Rorers , rascals , Banquerouts politicke , With mony , or with friends will finde a tricke Their Iaylor to corrupt , and at their will They walke abroad , and take their pleasure still : Whilst naked vertue , beggerly , despis'd , Beleaguer'd round , with miseries surpris'd , Of hope of any liberty defeated , For passing of his word is meerely cheated : And dungeond vp , may tell the walls his mones , And make relation to the senselesse stones , Where sighes and groanes , and teares may be his feast , Whil'st man to man , is worse than beast to beast . Till death he there must make his sad abode , Whil'st craft and cousenage walke at will abroad . Thus these comparisons doe well agree , Man to a Iayle may fitly likened bee : The thought whereof may make him wish with speed To haue his prisoned soule releast and freed . Thus Iayles and meditations of a Iayle , May serue a Christian for his great auaile . But now my Muse , thus long in bondage pent , Beginnes to thinke of her infranchizement : And hauing of a Prison spoke her part , She mounts vnto the Hangman and his Art. THE NECESSITIE of Hanging . OF Hangings there 's diuersity of fashions , Almost as many as are sundry Nations . For in the world al things so hanged are , That any thing vnhang'd is strange and rare . Earth hangs in the concauity of Water , And Water hangs within the Ayerie matter , The Ayre hangs in the Fierie continent : Thus Element doth hang in Element , ( Without foundation ) all the Massie Globe Hangs , which the skies encompasse like a Robe . For as an egge , the yolke within the white , The white within the skinne 's enuellop'd quite , The skin within the shell doth outmost lie : Eu'n so these Elements hang midst the skie . First all the world where mortals liue , we see Within the Orbe of Luna Hanged be ; Aboue her Mercurie his course doth steere , And next aboue him is bright Venus Sphere . And in the fourth , and middle firmament , Sol keepes his hot and fiery Regiment . Next aboue that runnes Mars , that starre of warre , Beyond him Iupiter , that Iouiall starre , Then last is sullen Saturnes ample bounds , Who once in thirty yeeres the world surrounds ; This earthly Globe ( for which men fight and braule ) Compar'd to Heauen , is like an Attom small , Or as a Needles point compar'd to it , So it to Heauen may be compared fit , And it doth Hang , and hath its residence I' th centre of the skies circumference . Thus to proue Hanging naturall , I proue , We in a Hanging world doe liue and moue . Man is a little world , wherein we see , The great worlds abstract or epitomie , And if we note each linament and lim , There are not many parts vnhang'd of him , His haire which to his head and beard belongs , Hangs , if not turn'd vp with the Barbers tongs , His armes , his hands , his legges and feet we know ▪ Doe all hang pendant downewards as they grow , Ther 's nothing of him that doth hanging skip , Except his eares , his nether teeth and lip , And when he 's crost or sullen any way , He mumps , and lowres , and Hangs the Lip , they say : That I a wise mans sayings must approue , Man is a tree , whose root doth grow aboue Within his brains , whose sprigs & branches round , From head to foot grow downward to the ground . Thus world to world , and man to man doth call , And tels him Hanging is most naturall : The word Dependant doth informe our reason , That Hanging will be neuer out of season . All that depends doth hang , which doth expresse , That Great men are like Iybbets for the lesse . It is an old phrase , many yeeres past gone , That such a Lord hath many hangers on ; Thereby describing , that all mens Attendants As it were hangers on , were cald Dependants : And sure of all men , they are best indeed , Who haue most hangers on to cloath and seed ; For he that hath the meanes , and not the grace , To helpe the needie , is a Miser base . Hee 's no good Steward , but a hatefull Theefe , That keepes from good Dependants their releefe : And of all the Theeues , he hanging doth deserue , Who * hath the power to feed , and lets men sterue . To end this point , this consequence I 'le grant , He that hath wealth , no Hangers on can want ; For since the time that mankinde first began , It is a destinie ordain'd to man , The meane vpon the mightie should depend , And all vpon the Mightiest should attend . Thus through all ages , Countries and dominions , We each on other hang like Ropes of Onions . Some wealthie slaues , whose consciences condem , Will hang themselues , lest others hang on them ; And some spend all on Hangers on so fast , That they are forc'd to steale , and hang at last . If they from these Extremes themselues could wean , There is betwixt them both a Golden meane , Which would direct their superfluities , They would not hang themselues for niggardize , Nor wastfully or prodigally spend , Till want bring them to hanging in the end , And they and many others , by their purse , Might scape that hanging which is cald a curse . There 's many a * Gallant , made of foole and feather , Of Gold and Veluet , Silke and Spanish leather , Whose ragged Hangers on haue mou'd my minde , To see pride goe before , and shame behinde , With scarce a button , or an Elboe whole , A breech , or any shooe that 's worth a sole : Those are like Golden Iybbets , and their Traines Are like poore tatterd Theeues hang'd vp in chains . He that doth suffer Whores , or Theeues , or Knaues , Base flattering Villaines , or such kinde of slaues , To hang vpon him , and knowes what they are , That man vnto a Gallowse I compare . That Vintner I account no friend of mine , Who for good money , drawes me scuruie wine , And by the rule of Conscience ( not of Law ) That he is fitter made to hang , than draw . The Lawyer that at length doth spin mens causes , With false delayes , and dilatorie clauses , Who makes a trade to broach and draw contention , For him a hanging were a good preuention . But holla , Muse come backe , you beare my Rime To hanging in good earnest ere the time . There are a many sorts of hangings yet Behinde , which I by no meanes must forget : One hanging is a necessary thing , Which is a pretty Gamboll , cald a Swing , And men of good repute I oft haue seene To hang , and stretch , and totter , for the spleene , This hanging is a militarie course , Not by the Law , but strength of armes , and force : Thus euery morning for a little spurt , A man may hang himselfe , and doe no hurt . This hanging oft ( like Tyburne ) hath a tricke , Saues charge of physicke , or of being sicke . Besides the word Hang is so much in vse , That few or none will tak 't as an abuse ; It doth a great mans kindnesse much approue , When he shall bid a man Be hang'd in loue ; And with some men 't is common courtesie , To say , Farewell , be hangd , that 's twice God ●wy . The pictures of the dearest friends we haue , Although their corps are rotten in the graue , We hang them for a reuerend memorie , To vs and vnto our posteritie . Some hang their wiues in picture , which haue cause To hang their persons , wer 't not for the lavves : Some hang their heires in picture , who would faine Wish their good fathers hang'd , their lands to ga●ne . I oft haue seene good garments for mens wearing , Haue very thriftily beene hang'd to airing , And I haue seen those garments ( like good fellows ) Hang kindly with their master at the Gallowse , And then into the Hangmans Wardrobe drop , Haue beene againe hang'd in a Broakers shop , Which after by a Curpurse bought might be , And make another iourney to the Tree , Twixt which , and twixt the Broaker , it might goe Or ride , some twelue or thirteene times , or moe . Thus th'hangmans haruest , and the Brokers grow , They reape the crop , which sin and shame doth sow , There are rich Hangings made of Tapestrie , Of Arras , and of braue embroderie , Those are for Princes , and for men of worth , T' adorne their Roomes , and set their greatnes forth . But as dead bones in painted Tombes doe bide , These * Hangings , filthy rotten walls doe hide . A Harts horne to a post fast nailed on , Serues well for men to Hang their hats vpon : But if they knew their heads would serue the turne , They would not shift their hats from horn to horn . Mens swords in Hangers Hang , fast by their side , Their Stirrops Hang , when as they vse to ride : Our Conies and our Deere , are Hang'd in toiles , Our meat hangs o're the fire when as it boiles ; Our light Hangs in the Lanthorne , all men sees Our frui● we eat was hang'd vpon the trees , Signes hang on posts shew where as tradesmen dwels , In steeples all men know are Hang'd the Bels , The scales or ballance hangs where things are weigh'd , Goods Hang'd in Cranes , that 's in or out conue●'d ; Yards , sailes , shears , tacks , lists , caskets , bolins , braces , Are fitly hang'd in their conuenient places . The compasse that directs where windes doe blow , Is Hang'd vpon the Needles point we know : In stately buildings , Timber , Lead and Stone , Are Hang'd and hoist , or Buildings would be none . Our Maps wherein the world described be , Are all Hang'd vp against the walls we see : Our Cazements Hang as they doe ope and shut , Our Curtaines Hang , which 'bout our beds we put , Our Hogs are Hang'd , else Bacon we might looke , Doores Hang on Hinges , or I am mistooke , And many a trusty Padlocke Hangs no doubt , To let in honest men and keepe Knaues out . Sea Cabins Hang , where poore men sleepe & rest , Our Clokes Hang on our backs 't is manifest ; The Viall , Citterne , the Bandore and Lute , Are cas'd or vncas'd , all Hang'd vp and mute , Our Linnen ( being wash'd ) must Hang to dry , Or else Lice will Hang on and multiply : Thus Hanging 's beneficiall to all States , Whilst Gods dread curse Hangs o're the reprobates . And as for those that take my Lines amis , And will be pleas'd to be displeas'd with this , For groats a peece , nay lesse , for three pence either , I 'le giue them all leaue to to be Hang'd together ; Since Hanging then is prou'd so naturall , So beneficiall , so generall , So apt , so necessary , and so fit , Our reason tels vs we should honour it . It is a good mans life , and 't is their death , That rob and rifle men of goods and breath : This kind of Hanging all offences ends , From which God euer blesse me and my friends . I from the Hangman this conclusion draw , He is the fatall period of the Law : If theeues or traytours into mischiefe runne , If he haue done with them , then they haue done . 'T is often seene that many haplesse men Haue beene condemn'd and Iudg'd , reprieu'd agen And pardon'd , haue committed new transgressions , And in againe oft many a Size and Sessions : When many warnings mend them not therefore Th● Hangman warnes them , they offend no more . Hee 's the Catastrophe and Epilogue Of many of the desperat Catalogue ; And he is one that cannot wanted be , But still God keepe him farre enough from me . THE DESCRIPTION of Tyburne . I Haue heard sundry men oft times dispute Of trees that in one yeere will twice beare fruit . But if a man note Tyburne , 't will appeare , That that 's a tree that beares twelue times a yeere . I Muse it should so fruitfull be , for why I vnderstand the root of it is drie , It beares no leafe , no blossome , or no bud , The raine that makes it fructifie is blond . I further note the fruit which it produces , Doth seldome serue for profitable vses : Except the skilfull Surgions industry , Doe make Defection or Anatomy . It blossomes , buds , and beares , all three together , And in one houre , doth liue , and die , and wither . Like Sodome Apples , they are in conceit , For touch'd they turne to dust and ashes streight . Besides I finde this Tree hath neuer bin Like other fruit trees , wall'd or hedged in , But in the high way standing many a yeere , It neuer yet was rob'd , as I cou●d heare . The reason is apparent to our eies , That what it beares are dead commodities : And yet sometimes ( such grace to it is giuen ) The dying fruit is well prepar'd for heauen , And many times a man may gather thence Remorse , deuotion , and true penitence . And from that Tree , I thinke more soules ascend To that Celestiall ioy , which ne're shall end : I say more soules from thence to heau'n doe come , Than from all Churchyards throughout christendome The reason is , the bodies all are dead , And all the soules to ioy or woe are fled . Perhaps a weeke , a day , or two , or three , Before they in the Churchyards buried bee . But at this Tree , in twinckling of an eye , The soule and body part immediatly , There death the fatall parting blow doth strike , And in Churchyards is seldome seene the like . Besides , they are assisted with the almes Of peoples charitable Praiers , and Psalmes , Which are the wings that lift the hou'ring spirit , By faith , through grace , true glory to inherit . Concerning this dead fruit , I noted it , In stead of paste it 's put into a pit , And laid vp carefully in any place , Yet worme-eaten it growes in little space . My vnderstanding can by no meanes frame To giue this Tyburne fruit a fitter name , Than Medlers , for I finde that great and small ( To my capacitie ) are Medlers all . Some say they are Choak'd peares , and some againe Doe call them Hartie Choakes , but 't is most plaine , It is a kinde of Medler it doth beare , Or else I thinke it neuer would come there . Moreouer where it growes I finde it true , It often turnes the Herbe of Grace to Rue . Amongst all Pot-herbes growing on the ground , Tyme is the least respected , I haue found , And most abus'd , and therefore one shall see No branch or bud of it grow neere this Tree : For 't is occasion of mans greatest crime , To turne the Vse , into Abuse , of Time. When Passions are let loose without a bridle , Then pretious Time is turn'd to Loue and Idle : And that 's the chiefest reason I can show , Why fruit so often doth on Tyburne grow . There are inferiour Gallowses which beare ( According to the season ) twice a yeare : And there 's a kinde of watrish Tree at Wapping , Wheras Sea-theeues or Pirates are catch'd napping : But Tyburne doth deserue before them all The title and addition capitall , Of Arch or great Grand Gallowse of our Land , Whilst all the rest like ragged Laqueyes stand ; It hath ( like Luna ) ' full , and change , and quarters , It ( like a Merchant ) monthly trucks and barters ; But all the other Gallowses are fit , Like Chapmen , or poore Pedlers vnto it . Thus Iayles and Iaylors being here explain'd , How both are good , and for good vse ordain'd , All sorts of Hanging which I could surmise , I likewise haue describ'd before your eyes ; And further hauing shew'd what Tyburne is , With many more inferiour Gallowsis , My pen from paper with this Praier doth part , God blesse all people from their sinnes desart . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13486-e130 Reader , yo 〈…〉 note that thi 〈…〉 tleman did 〈…〉 mee from FARNE 〈…〉 barrell of 〈◊〉 and Corm 〈◊〉 eggs , by th 〈…〉 ing of wh 〈◊〉 haue attain 〈…〉 the vnderstand 〈◊〉 of many 〈◊〉 which our 〈◊〉 an 〈…〉 doe speake 〈◊〉 about LON 〈…〉 〈…〉 Fairn Iland 〈…〉 7. mile the Holy into the sea , Holy Iland seuen miles Barwicke . 〈…〉 Fairne all of Sea-fowle in such a 〈◊〉 nce , as yo 〈…〉 step but Egges or 〈◊〉 : They misse lay on Saint 〈◊〉 es day , and might after 〈…〉 as there is 〈◊〉 to be seene . 〈◊〉 taple Ilands 〈◊〉 to the 〈◊〉 , and stand 〈◊〉 mile from it 〈…〉 he sea , where 〈◊〉 wle vpon the 〈…〉 are so thicke 〈◊〉 vpon the 〈◊〉 nd vpon the 〈◊〉 & with such 〈◊〉 sitie build 〈◊〉 ests , as the 〈◊〉 man cannot 〈◊〉 hat egge in 〈◊〉 place againe 〈…〉 once taken 〈…〉 abide in the 〈◊〉 place Vpon 〈◊〉 flight the sea 〈◊〉 couered for 〈…〉 a mile , and 〈◊〉 eauens aboue 〈◊〉 obscured for present . b There is but one house there , all the dwellers else being Sea-sowle , who will her know offences nor punishments . Notes for div A13486-e940 Ier. 22.2 . Chap. 32. Chap. 37. 12. Anagrammes of Iayles , Iaylors & Seriean●s . Excellent reformation● There are too few that make this good vse of imprisonment . Or stomac● The earth Prison . A strait 〈◊〉 is a Tailor Prison . Shooma 〈…〉 rs Prison . ●●uth and ●●nesty pri●●ners . ●●●hard case . A maid●● head of times 〈◊〉 Prisoner The G 〈…〉 Prisone State. Money close P●●●●ner . Amen ▪ 〈…〉 and 〈…〉 kept in 〈…〉 age by 〈…〉 . 〈…〉 men 〈…〉 their 〈…〉 ene 〈…〉 . We are al● borne in forme , an● come into world of fashion , we die 〈◊〉 leaue the world in●●●nite waie 〈…〉 To 〈…〉 〈…〉 des Pole 〈…〉 , Parti 〈…〉 , Hal 〈…〉 , Iaue 〈…〉 , Battle 〈…〉 , Cros 〈…〉 ves , halfe 〈…〉 es , Pistols 〈…〉 d Pettro 〈…〉 s. 2 The 〈◊〉 house . 3 Th● Fleet. 4 New 〈…〉 5 Lud 〈…〉 6 Pe 〈…〉 Count 〈…〉 7 Wo 〈…〉 street . 8 Bri 〈…〉 White 〈…〉 , Kings 〈…〉 , Ma● 〈…〉 a , 〈…〉 ter , and 〈…〉 The hole ● Kathe●●●● . East 〈…〉 chfield 〈…〉 . New 〈…〉 . The 〈…〉 Went 〈…〉 . Were 〈…〉 for the 〈…〉 Iayle 〈…〉 haue 〈…〉 Notes for div A13486-e7690 Simile . All the world is in comparison for greatnes to the Heauens as a handwo●●● or a Nit may be compared to the world . We liue in ● Hanging world . Rich men are poore mens Gallowses . All Dependants are Hangers on . * That 's a Rogue . * That 's an Asse . A Swing or ●tretch for exercise and wealth . * If all traitors , Hypocrites , flatterers , extortioners , oppressors , Br●betakers , Cheaters , Panders , Bawds , &c. were hang'd vp in the woods on seueral Trees , there is no Arras , or Tapestry can grace and adorne , in Princes Court as those Hangings could become a Common-wealth . 〈…〉 is an 〈…〉 my of 〈…〉 angings . Notes for div A13486-e10930 Except Paules ●●urchyard and not Gregories , 〈…〉 many in 〈…〉 & then 〈…〉 there ; whom I doe 〈◊〉 beleeue haue ●ules . Also I except the 〈◊〉 at Salisbury , with all Cathedrall Churchyards , and others , where any body dwels , if it be but a Summer , or a Sexton . 
A13485	----	The pennyles pilgrimage, or The money-lesse perambulation, of Iohn Taylor, alias the Kings Majesties water-poet How he trauailed on foot from London to Edenborough in Scotland, not carrying any money to or fro, neither begging, borrowing, or asking meate, drinke or lodging. With his description of his entertainment in all places of his iourney, and a true report of the vnmatchable hunting in the brea of Marre and Badenoch in Scotland. With other obseruations, some serious and worthy of memory, and some merry and not hurtfull to be remembred. Lastly that (which is rare in a trauailer) all is true. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1618 Approx. 96 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 27 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13485 STC 23784 ESTC S118255 99853462 99853462 18845 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13485) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18845) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 941:5) The pennyles pilgrimage, or The money-lesse perambulation, of Iohn Taylor, alias the Kings Majesties water-poet How he trauailed on foot from London to Edenborough in Scotland, not carrying any money to or fro, neither begging, borrowing, or asking meate, drinke or lodging. With his description of his entertainment in all places of his iourney, and a true report of the vnmatchable hunting in the brea of Marre and Badenoch in Scotland. With other obseruations, some serious and worthy of memory, and some merry and not hurtfull to be remembred. Lastly that (which is rare in a trauailer) all is true. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [54] p. Printed by Edw: All-de, at the charges of the author, London : 1618. Partly in verse. Signatures: A-G⁴ (-G4). Running title reads: Taylors pennilesse pilgrimage. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng England -- Description and travel -- Early works to 1800. Scotland -- Description and travel -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-06 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2003-05 SPi Global Rekeyed and resubmitted 2004-11 Andrew Kuster Sampled and proofread 2004-11 Andrew Kuster Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-01 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE PENNYLES PILGRIMAGE , OR The Money-lesse perambulation , of IOHN TAYLOR , Alias the Kings Majesties Water-Poet . HOW HE TRAVAILED ON FOOT from London to Edenborough in Scotland , not carrying any Money to or fro , neither Begging , Borrowing , or Asking Meate , drinke or Lodging . With his Description of his Entertainment in all places of his Iourney , and a true Report of the vnmatchable Hunting in the Brea of Marre and Badenoch in Scotland . With other Obseruations , some serious and worthy of Memory , and some merry and not hurtfull to be Remembred . Lastly that ( which is Rare in a Trauailer ) all is true . LONDON Printed by Edw : All de , at the charges of the Author . 1618. TO THE TRVLY NOBLE , AND RIGHT Honorable Lord , GEORGE Marquesse of Buckingham , Viscount VILLEIRS , Baron of Whaddon , Iustice in Eyre of all his Maiesties Forrests , Parkes , and Chases beyond Trout , Master of the Horse to his Maiesty , and one of the Gentlemen of his Highnesse Royall Bed-Chamber , Knight of the most Noble order of the Garter , and one of his Majesties most Honorable Priuie Councell of both the Kingdomes of England and Scotland . RIght Honorable , and worthy honour'd Lord , as in my Trauailes , I was Entertain'd , welcom'd , and relieu'd by many Honourable Lords , Worshipfull Knights , Esquires , Gentlemen , and others , both in England , & Scotland . So now your Lordships Inclination hath incited , or inuited my poore Muse to shelter herselfe vnder the shadow of your Honourable Patronage , not that there is any worth at all in my sterill inuention , but in all Humilitie I acknowledge that it is onely your Lordships acceptance , that is able to make this nothing , something , and withall engage me euer . Your Honours , in all obseruance : IOHN TAYLOR . To all my louing Aduenturers , by what name or title so euer , my generall salutation . REader , these Trauailes of mine into Scotland , were not vndertaken , neither in imitation , or emulation of any man , but onely deuised by my selfe , on purpose to make triall of my friends , both in this Kingdome of England , and that of Scotland , and because I would be an eye witnesse of diuers things which I had heard of that Country ; and whereas many shallow-brain'd Critickes , doe lay an aspersion on me , that I was set on by others , or that I did vndergoe this project , either in malice , or mockage of Maister Beniamin Ionson , I vow by the faith of a Christian , that their imaginations are all wide , for he is a Gentleman , to whom I am so much obliged for many vndeserued courtesies that I haue receiued from him , and from others by his fauour , that I durst neuer to be so impudent or ingratefull , as either to suffer any mans perswasions , or mine owne instigation , to incite me , to make so bad a requitall , for so much goodnesse formerly receiued ; so much for that , and now Reader , if you expect That I should write of Cities scituations , Or that of Countries I should make relations : Of brooks , crooks , nooks ; of riuers , boorns and rills , Of mountaines , fountaines , Castles , Towers & hills , Of Shieres , and Pieres , and memorable things , Of liues and deaths of great commanding Kings : I touch not those , they not belong to mee , But if such things as these you long to see , Lay downe my Booke , and but vouchsafe to reede The learned Camden , or laborious Speede. And so God speede you and me , whilst I rest yours in all thankfulnes : IOHN TAYLOR . TAYLORS PENNILESSE PILGRIMAGE . LIst Lordings , list ( if you haue lust to list ) I write not here a tale of had I wist : But you shall heare of trauels , and relations , Descriptions of strange ( yet English ) fashions . And he that not beleeues what here is writ , Let him ( as I haue done ) make proofe of it . The yeare of grace , accounted ( as I weene ) One thousand , twice three hundred and eighteene , And to relate all things in order duly , 'T was Tuesday last ; the fourteenth day of Iuly , Saint Reuels day , the Almanacke will tell ye The signe in Virgo was , or neere the belly : The Moone full three dayes old , the winde full South ; At these times I began this trick of youth . I speake not of the Tide ; for vnderstand , My legges I made my Oares , and rowed by land , Though in the morning I began to goe , Good fellowes trooping , flock'd me so , That make what hast I could , the Sunne was set , E're from the gates of London I could get . At last I tooke my latest leaue , thus late At the Bell Inne , that 's extra Aldersgate . There stoode a horse that my prouant should carie , From that place to the end of my fegarie , My Horse , no Horse , or Mare , but guelded Nagge , That with good vnderstanding bore my bagge : And of good cariage he himselfe did show , These things are ex'lent in a beast , you know . There , in my Knapsack , ( to pay hungers fees ) I had good Bacon , Bisket , Neates-tongue , Cheese , With Roses , Barbaries , of each Conserues , And Mithridate , that vigrous health preserues ; And I entreate you take these words for no-lyes , I had good Aqua vita , Rosa so-lies : With sweet Ambrosia , ( the Gods owne drinke ) Most ex'lent geere for mortalls , as I thinke . Besides , I had both vineger and oyle , That could a daring sawcie stomack foyle . This foresaid Tuesday night 'twixt eight and nine , Well rigg'd and ballac'd , both with Beere and Wine , I stumbling forward , thus my iaunt begun , And went that night as farre as Islington . There did I finde , ( I dare affirme it bold ) A Maydenhead of twenty fiue yeeres old , But surely it was painted , like a whore , And for a signe , or wonder , hang'd at ' dore , Which shewe , a Maidenhead , that 's kept so long , May be hang'd vp , and yet sustaine no wrong . There did my louing friendly Host begin To entertaine me freely to his Inne : And there my friends , and good associates , Each one to mirth himselfe accommodates . At Well head both for welcome , and for cheere , Hauing a good New tonne , of good stale Beere : There did we Trundle downe health , after health ( Which oftentimes impaires both health and wealth . ) Till euery one had fill'd his mortall Trunke , And onely Nobody was three parts drunke . The morrow next , Wednesday Saint Swithins day , From ancient Islington I tooke my way . At Hollywell I was inforc'd carrowse , Ale high , and mightie , at the Blinde-mans house . But ther 's a helpe to make amends for all , That though the Ale be great , the Pots be small . At High-gate hill to a strange house I went , And saw the people were to eating bent , I neither Borrow'd , Crau'd , Ask'd , Begg'd or Bought , But most laborious with my teeth I wrought . I did not this cause meate or drinke was scant , But I did practise thus before my want ; Like to a Tilter that would winne the prize , Before the day hee 'le often excercise . So I began to put in vre , at first These principles 'gainst hunger , and 'gainst thirst , Close to the Gate , their dwelt a worthy man , That well could take his whiffe , and quaffe his Canne , Right Robin Good-fellow , but humors euill Doe call him Robin Pluto , or the Deuill . But finding him a Deuill , freely harted , With friendly farewels I tooke leaue and parted . And as alongst I did my Iourney take , I dranke at Broomes-well , for pure fashions sake . Two miles I trauelled then , without a bayte , The Sarazens head at Whetstone entring straight , I found an Host , might lead an Host of men , Exceeding Fat , yet named Lean , and Few , And though we make small reckoning of him heere , Hee 's knowne to be a very Great man there . There I tooke leaue , of all my Company , Bade all farewell , yet spake to No-body . Good Reader thinke not strange , what I compile , For No-body was with me all this while . And No-body did drinke , and winke , and scinke , And on occasion freely spend his Chinke . If any one desire to know the man , Walke , stumble , Trundle , but in Barbican . Ther 's as good Beere and Ale as euer twang'd , And in that street kinde No-body is hang'd , But leauing him , vnto his matchlesse fame , I to St. Albanes in the Euening came , Where Mr. Taylor , at the Sarazens head , Vnask'd ( vnpaid for ) me both lodg'd and sed . The Tapsters , Hostlers , Chamberlaines , and all , Sau'd mee a labour , that I need not call , The Iugges were fild and fild , the cups went round , And in a word great kindnes there I found , For which both to my Cosen , and his men , I le still be thankefull in word , deed , and pen. Till Thursday morning there I made my stay , And then I went plaine Dunstable high-way . My very hart with drought me thought did shrinke , I went twelue miles , and no one bad me drinke . Which made me call to minde , that instant time , That Drunkennes was a most sinful crime . When Puddle-hill I footed downe , and past A mile from thence I found a Hedge at last . There stroke we sayle , our Bacon , Cheese and Bread We drew like Fidlers , and like Farmers fed , And whilst 2. houres we there did take out ease , My Nagge made shift to mump greene Pulse and Pease . Thus we our hungry stomacks did supply , And dranke the water of a Brooke hard by . A way t'ward Hockley in the hole , we make , When straight a Horsman did me ouer-take , Who knew me , and would saine haue giuen me Coyne , I said my Bonds did me from Coyne inioyne . I thank'd and prayd him to put vp his Chinke , And willingly I wisht it drownd in drinke . Away Rode he , but like an honest man , I found at Hockley standing at the Swan , A formall Tapster , with a Iugge and glasse , Who did Arest mee , I most willing was To try the Action , and straight put in bale , My fees were paide before , with sixe-pence Ale. To quitt this kindnesse , I most willing am The man that paide for all , his name is Dam At the greene Dragon , against Grayes-Iune gate , He liues in good Repute , and honest state . I forward went in this my Roauing race , To Stony Stratford I toward night did pace , My minde was fixed through the Towne to passe , To finde some Lodging in the Hay or Grasse , But at the Queenes Armes from the window there , A comfortable voyce I chaunc'd to heare , Call Taylor , Taylor and be hang'd come hither , I look'd for small intreaty and went thither , There were some friends , which I was glad to see , Who knew my Iourney ; lodg'd , and boorded me . On Friday morne , as I would take my way , My friendly Host entreated me to stay , Because it Rain'd he tolde me I should haue , Meate , Drinke , and Horse-meate and not pay or craue . I thank'd him , and for 's loue remaine his debter , But if I liue , I will requite him better . ( From Stony Stratford , the way hard with stones ) Did founder me , and vexe me to the bones , In blustring weather , both for winde and Raine , Through Tocetter I trotted , with much paine , Two miles from thence , we satt vs downe and dynde , Well Bulwark'd by a hedge , from raine and winde . We hauing fed , away incontinent , With weary pace toward Dauentry we went , Foure miles short of it , one o're-tooke me there , And tolde me he would leaue a Iugge of Beere , At Dauentry at the Horse-shoe , for my vse , I thought it no good manners to refuse , But thank'd him , for his kinde vnasked gift , Whilest I was lame as scarce a leg could lift , Came ilmping after to that stony Towne , Whose hard streetes , made me almost halt tight downe . There had my friend performed the words he saide , And at the doore a Iugge of liquor staide The folkes were all informed , before I came , How , and wherefore my Iourney I did frame , Which caused mine Hostesse from her doore come out , ( hauing a great Wart Rampant on her snowt . ) The Tapsters , Hostlers , one another call , The Chamberlaines with admiration all , Were fild with wonder , more then wonderfull , As if some Monster sent from the Mogull , Some Elephant from Affricke , I had beene , Or some strange beast from th' Amazonian Queene . As Buzards , Widgions , Woodcocks , and such fowle , Doe gaze and wonder at the broad-fac'd Owle , So did these brainlesse Asses , all-amaz'd , With admirable Non sence talk'd and gaz'd . They knew my state , ( although not tolde by me , ) That I could scarcely goe , they all did see , They dranke of my Beere , that to me was giuen , But gaue me not a drop , to make all eeuen . And that which in my minde was most amisse , My Hostesse she stood by and saw all this , Had she but said , come neere the house my friend , For this day heere shall be your Iourneys end , Then had she done , the thing which she did not , And I in kinder wordes had paid the shot . I doe intreat my friends , ( as I haue some ) If they to Dauentry doe chance to come , That they will balke that Inne ; or if by chaunce , Or accident into that house they glaunce , Kinde Gentlemen , as they by you reape profit , My hostesse Care of mee , pray tell her of it . Yet doe not neither , Lodge there when you will , You for your money shall be welcome still . From thence that night , although my bones were sore , I made a shift to hobble seau'n miles more : The way to Dunchurch , foule with dirt and mire , Able , I thinke , both man and horse to tire . On Dunsmore Heath , a hedge doth there enclose Grounds , on the right hand , there I did repose . Wits whetstone , want , there made vs quickly learne , With kniues to cut downe Rushes , and greene Fearne , Of which we made a field-bed in the field , Which fleepe , and rest , and much content did yeeld . There with my mother Earth , I thought it fit To lodge , and yet no Incest did commit : My bed was Curtain'd with good wholesome ayres , And being weary , I went vp no stayres : The skie my Canopy , bright Pheabe shinde , Sweet bawling Zephirus breath'd gentle winde , In heau'ns Starre Chamber I did lodge that night , Tenne thousand Starres , me to my bed did light ; There baracadoed with a banke lay wee Below the lofty branches of a tree , There my bed-fellowes and companions were , My Man , my Horse , a Bull , foure Cowes , two Steere : But yet for all this most confused rowt , We had no bed-staues , yet we fell not out , Thus Nature , like an ancient free Vpholster , Did furnish vs with bedstead , bed , and bolster ; And the kinde skies , ( for which high Heau'n be thanked , Allow'd vs a large Couering and a Blanket : Aurora's face gan light our lodging darke . We arose and mounted , with the mounting Larke , Through plashes , puddles , thicke , thinne , wet and dry , I trauail'd to the Citie Couentry . There Maister Doctor Holland caus'd me stay The day of Saturne , and the Sabaoth day . Most friendly welcome , he did me affoord , I was so entertain'd at bed and boord , Which as I dare not bragge how much it was , I dare not be ingrate and let it passe , But with thankes many I remember it ( In stead of his good deedes ) in words and writ , He vs'd me like his sonne , more then a friend , And he on Monday his commends did send To Newhall , where a Gentleman did dwell , Who by his name is hight Sacheuerell . The Tuesday Iulyes one and twenteth day , I to the Citie Lichfield tooke my way , At Sutton Coffill with some friends I met , And much adoe I had from thence to get , There I was almost put vnto my trumps , My Horses shooes were worne as thinne as pumps ; But noble Vulcan , a mad smuggy Smith , All reparations me did furnish with . The shooes were well remou'd , my Palfrey shod , And he referr'd the payment vnto God. I found a friend , when I to Lichfield came , A Ioyner , and Iohn Piddock is his name , He made me welcome , for he knew my iaunt , And he did furnish me with good prouant : He offred me some money , I refus'd it , And so I tooke my leaue , with thanks excus'd it . That Wednesday I a weary way did passe , Raine , winde , stones , dirt , and dabling dewie grasse , With here and there a pelting scatter'd village , Which yeelded me no charity , or pillage : For all the day , nor yet the night that followed , One drop of drinke I 'm sure my gullet swallowed . At night I came t' a stonie Towne call'd Stone , Where I knew none , nor was I knowne of none : I therefore through the streetes held on my pace , Some two miles farther to some resting place : At last I spide a meddow newly mowde , The Hay was rotten , the ground halfe o're-flowde : We made a breach , and entred horse and man , There our pauillion , we to pitch began , Which we erected with greene Broome and Hay T' expell the colde , and keepe the raine away ; The skie all muffled in a cloud gan lowre , And presently there sell a mighty showre , Which without intermission downe did powre , From tenne at night , vntill the mornings foure . We all that time close in our Couch did lye , Which being well compacted , kept vs dry . The worst was , we did neither sup nor sleepe , And so a temperate dyet we did keepe . The morning all enroab'd in drisling fogges , We being as ready as we had beene dogges : We neede not stand vpon long ready making , But gaping , stretching , and our eares well shaking : And for I found my Host and Hostesse kinde , I like a true man left my sheetes behinde . That Thursday morne , my weary course I fram'd , Vnto a Towne that is Newcastle nam'd , ( Not that Newcastle standing vpon Tine ) But this Townes scituation doth confine Neere Cheshiere , in the famous County Stafford , And for their loue , I owe them not a straw for 't ; But now my versing Muse craues some repose , And whilst she sleepes I le spowt a little prose . In this Towne of Newcastle , I ouertooke an Hostler , and I asked him what the next towne was called , that was in my way toward Lancaster , he holding the end of a riding rod in his mouth , as if it had beene a Fluit , piped me this answere , and said , Talke on the hill ; I asked him againe what hee said , Talke on the hill : I demaunded the third time , and the third time he answered me as he did before , Talke on the hill . I began to grow chollericke , and asked him why hee could not talke , or tell mee my way as well there , as on the hill ; at last I was resolued , that the next Towne was foure miles off mee , and the name of it was , Talke on the hill . I had not trauailed aboue two miles farther : but my last nights supper ( which was asmuch as nothing ) my mind being enformed of it by my stomacke . I made a vertue of necessity , and went to breakfast in the sunne : I haue sared better at three sunnes many a time before now , in Aldersgate streete , Creeplegate , and new Fishstreete ; but here is the oddes , at those Sunnes they will come vpon a man with a Tauerne bill , as sharpe cutting as a Taylors bill of Items : A Watch-mans blil , or a Welch-hooke falles not halfe so heauy vpon a man ; besides , most of the Vintners haue the law in their owne hands , and haue all their Actions , Cases , Bills of Debt , and such Reckonings tried at their owne Barres ; from whence there is no appeale . But leauing these impertinencies , in the materiall Sunne-shiee , wee eate a substantiall Dinner , and like miserable Guestes wee did budget vp the Reuersions . And now with sleepe , my Muse hath eas'd her braine . I 'le turne my stile from prose , to verse againe . That which we could not haue , we freely spar'd , And wanting drinke , most soberly we far'd . We had great store of fowle ( but 't was foule way ) And kindly euery step entreates me stay , The clammy clay sometimes my heeles would trip , One foote went forward , th' other backe would slip . This weary day , when I had almost past , I came vnto Sir Vrian Legh's at last , At Adlington , neere Macksfield he doth dwell , Belou'd , respected , and reputed well . Through his great loue , my stay with him was fixt , From Thursday night , till noone on Monday next , At his owne table I did dayly eate , Whereat may be suppos'd , did want no meate , He would haue giu'n me Gold or Siluer either , But I with many thankes , receiued neither . And thus much without flatterie I dare sweare , He is a Knight beloued farre and neere . First he 's beloued of his God aboue , ( which loue , he loues to keepe , beyond all loue ) Next with a Wife and Children he is blest , Each hauing Gods feare planted in their brest . With faire Demaines , Reuennue of good Lands , Hee 's fairely blest by the Almighties hands , And as hee 's happy in these outward things , So from his inward minde , continuall springes Fruits of Deuotion , deeds of Piety , Good hospitable workes of Charity , Iust in his Actions , Constant in his word , And one that wonne his honour with his sword . Hee 's no Carranto , Capr'ing , Carpet Knight , But he knowes when , and how to speake or fight . I cannot flatter him , say what I can , Hee 's euery way a compleat Gentleman . I write not this , for what he did to me , But what mine eares , and eyes did heare and see , Nor doe I pen this to enlarge his fame , But to make others Imitate the same . For like a Trumpet were I pleasd to blow , I would his worthy worth more amply show , But I already feare haue beene too bolde , And craue his pardon , me excusd to holde . Thankes to his Sonnes and seruants euery one , Both males and females all , excepting none . To beare a letter he did me require , Neere Manchester , vnto a good Esquire : His kinsman Edmond Prestwitch , he ordain'd , That I at Manchester was Entertain'd Two nights , and one day , ere we thence could passe , For Men and Horse , Rost , boyl'd , and Oates , and Grasse : This Gentleman , not onely gaue me harbor , But in the morning sent to me his Barber , Who lau'd , and shau'd me , still I spard my purse , Yet sure he left me many a haire the worse . But in conclusion , when his worke was ended , His Glasse informd , my face was much amended . And for the kindnesse he to me did show , God grant his Customers beards faster grow , That though the time of yeare be deere or cheape , From fruitfull faces hee may mowe and reape . Then came a Smith , with Shoes , and Tooth and Nayle , He searched my Horse hooues , mending what did faile , Yet this I note , my Nagge , through stones and dirt , Did shift shoes twice , ere I did shift one shirt : Can these kinde thinges be in obliuion hid ? No , Mr. Prestwitch , this and much more did , His friendship did command , and freely gaue All before writ , and more then I durst craue . But leauing him a little , I must tell , How men of Manchester , did vse me well , Their loues they on the tenter-hookes did racke , Rost , Boyld , Bak'd , too too much , White , Claret , Sacke , Nothing they thought too heauy or too hot , Canne follow'd Canne , and Pot succeeded Pot , That what they could doe , all they thought too little , Striuing in loue the Traueller to whittle . We went vnto the house of one Iohn Pinners , ( A man that liues amongst a crew of Sinners ) And there Eight seuerall sorts of Ale we had , All able to make one starke drunke or mad . But I with courage brauely flinched not , And gaue the Towne leaue to discharge the shot . We had at one time set vpon the Table , Good Ale of Hisope , 't was no Esope Fable : Then had we Ale of Sage , and Ale of Malt , And Ale of Worme-wood , that can make one halt , With Ale of Rosemary , and Bettony , And two Ales more , or else I needes must lye . But to conclude this drinking A lye tale , We had a sort of Ale , called Scuruy Ale. Thus all these men , at their owne charge and cost , Did striue whose loue might be expressed most . And farther to declare their boundlesse loues , They saw I wanted , and they gaue me Gloues , In deed , and very deede , their loues were such , That in their praise I cannot write too much ; They merit more then I haue here compil'd , I Lodged at the Eagle and the Childe , Whereas my Hostesse , ( a good Auncient woman ) Did entertaine me with respect , not common . She caus'd my Linnen , Shirts , and Bands be washt , And on my way she caus'd me be refresht , She gaue me twelue Silke poyntes , she gaue me Baken , Which by me much refused , at last was taken , In troath shee prou'd a mother vnto me , For which , I euermore will thankfull be . But when to minde these kindnesses I call , Kinde Mr. Prestwitch Author is of all , And yet Sr. Vrian Leigh's good Commendation Was the maine ground of this my Recreation . From both of them ; there what I had , I had , Or else my entertainment had bin bad . O all you worthy men of Manchester , True bred blouds of the County Lancaster ) When I forget what you to me haue done , Then let me head-long to confusion runne . To Noble Mr. Prestwach I must giue Thankes , vpon thankes , as long as I doe liue , His loue was such , I ne're can pay the score , He farre surpassed all that went before , A horse and man he sent , with boundlesse bounty , To bring me quite through Lancasters large County . Which I well know is Fifty miles at large , And he defrayed all the Cost and charge . This vnlook'd pleasure , was to me such pleasure , That I can ne're expresse my thankes with measure . So Mistresse Saracoale , Hostesse kinde , And Manchester with thankes I left behinde . The Wednesday being Iulyes twenty nine , My Iourney I to Preston did Confine , All the day long it rayned but one showre , Which from the Morning to the Ene'n did powre , And I , before to Preston I could get , Was sowsd , and pickeld both with Raine and sweat . But there I was supply'd , with fire and food , And any thing I wanted , sweete and good . There , at the Hinde , kinde Mr. Hinde mine Host , Kept a good table , Bak'd and boyld , and Rost , There Wedensday , Thursday , Friday I did stay , And hardly got from thence on Saturday . Vnto my Lodging often did repaire , Kinde Mr. Thomas Banister , the Mayor , Who is of worship , and of good Respect , And in his Charge discreet and circumspect . For I protest to God I neuer saw , A Towne more wisely Gouern'd by the Law. They tolde me when my Soueraigne there was last , That one mans rashnes , seem'd to giue distast ▪ It grieu'd them all , but when at last they found , His Majesty was pleasd , their ioyes were crown'd , He knew the fairest Garden hath some weedes , He did accept their kinde intents , for deedess One man there was , that with his zeale too hot . And furious hast , himselfe much ouer ▪ shot . But what man is so foolish , that desires To get good Fruit , from thistles , thornes and bryers ? Thus much I thought good to demonstrate heere , Because I saw how much they grieued were . That any way , the least part of offence , Should make them seeme offensiue to their Prince . Thus three nights was I staide and lodg'd in Preston , And saw nothing ridiculous to iest on , Much cost and charge the Mayor vpon me spent , And on my way two miles , with me he went , There ( by good chance ) I did more friendship get , The vnder Shriefe of Lancashire , we met , A Gentleman that lou'd , and knew me well , And one whose bounteous minde doth beare the bell . There , as if I had beene a noted thiefe , The Mayor deliuered me vnto the Shriefe . The Shriefes authority did much preuaile , He sent me vnto one that kept the Iayle . Thus I perambulating , poore Iohn Taylor , Was giu'n from Mayor to Shriefe , from Shriefe to Iaylor , The Iaylor kept an Inne , good beds , good cheere , Where paying nothing , I found nothing deere . For the vnder Shriefe kinde Maister Couill nam'd , ( A man for house-keeping renown'd and fam'd ) Did cause the Towne of Lancaster afford Me welcome , as if I had beene a Lord. And 't is reported , that for dayly bounty , His mate can scarce be found in all that County . Th'extreames of mizer , or of prodigall He shunnes , and liues discreete and liberall , His wiues minde , and his owne are one , so fixt , That Argos eyes could see no oddes betwixt , And sure the difference , ( if there diff'rence be ) Is who shall doe most good , or he , or she . Poore folks reports , that for releeuing them , He and his wife , are each of them a Iem ; At th'Inne , and at his house two nights I staide , And what was to be paid , I know he paide ; If nothing of their kindnesse I had wrote , Ingratefull me the world might iustly note : Had I declar'd all I did heare and see , For a great flatt'rer then I deem'd should be , He and his wife , and modest daughter Besse , With Earth and Heau'ns felicity , God blesse . Two dayes a man of his at his command , Did guide me to the midst of Westmerland , And my Conductor , with a liberall fist To keepe me moyst , scarce any Alehouse mist. The fourth of August ( weary , halt , and lame ) We in the darke , t a Towne call'd Sebder came , There Maister Borrowd , my kinde honest Host , Vpon me did bestow vnasked cost . The next day I held on my iourney still , Sixe miles vnto a place call'd Carling hill , Where Maister Edmond Branthwaite doth recide , Who made me welcome , with my man and guide . Our entertainement , and our fare was such , It might haue satisfied our betters much ; Yet all too little was , his kinde heart thought , And fiue miles on my way himselfe me brought , At Orton he , I , and my man did dine With Maister Corney , a good true Diuine , And surely Maister Branthwait's well belou'd , His firme integrity is much approu'd : His good effects , doth make him still affected Of God and good men , ( with regard ) respected . He sent his man with me , o're Dale and Downe , Who lodg'd , and borded me at Peereth Towne , And such good cheere , and bedding there I had , That nothing , ( but my weary selfe ) was bad ; There a fresh man , ( I know not for whose sake ) With me a iourney would to Carlile make ; But from that Citie , about two miles wide Good Sir Iohn Dalston lodg'd me and my guide . Of all the Gentlemen in England bounds , His house is neerest to the Scottish grounds , And Fame proclaimes him , farre and neere , aloud , He 's free from being couetous , or proud : His sonne Sir George , most affable , and kinde , His fathers image , both in forme and minde : On Saturday to Carlile both did ride , Where ( by their loues and leaues ) I did abide , Where of good entertainement I found store , From one that was the Mayor the yeare before , His name is Maister Adam Robinson , I the last English friendship with him won . He ( gratis ) found a guide to bring me thorough , From Carlile to the Citie Edinborough : This was a helpe , that was a helpe alone , Of all my helps inferiour vnto none . Fight miles from Carlile runnes a little Riuer , Which Englands bounds , from Scotlands grounds doth seuer . Without Horse , Bridge , or Boate I o're did get On foote , I went yet scarce my shooes did wet . I being come to this long look'd for land , Did marke , remarke , note , renote , viewd and scand : And I saw nothing that could change my will , But that I thought my selfe in England still . The Kingdomes are so neerely ioyn'd and fixt , There scarcely went a paire of Sheares betwixt ; There I saw skie aboue , and earth below , And as in England , there the Sunne did shew : The hills with Sheepe repleate , with Corne the dale , And many a cottage yeelded good Scotch Ale ; This County ( Avandale ) in former times , Was the curst climate of rebellious crimes : For Cumberland and it , both Kingdomes borders , Were euer ordred , by their owne disorders , Such sha king , shifting , cutting throates , and thieuing , Each taking pleasure , in the others grieuing ; And many times he that had wealth to night , Was by the morrow morning beggerd quite : To many yeares this pell-mell furie lasted , That all these borders were quite spoyl'd and wasted , Confusion , hurly-burly raign'd and reueld , The Churches with the lowly ground were leueld ; All memorable monuments defac'd , All places of defence o'rethrowne and rac'd . That who so then did in the borders dwell , Liu'd little happier then those in hell . But since the all-disposing God of heauen , Hath these two Kingdomes to one Monarch giuen , Blest peace , and plenty on them both hath showr'd Exile , and hanging hath the theeues deuowr'd , That now each subiect may securely sleepe , His Sheepe , and neate , the blacke the white doth keepe , For now those Crownes are both in one combinde Those former borders , that each one confinde , Appeares to me ( as I doe vnderstand ) To be almost the Center of the land , This was a blessed heauen expounded riddle , To thrust great Kingdomes skirts into the middle . Long may the instrumentall cause suruiue From him and his , succession still deriue True heires vnto his vertues , and his throane , That these two Kingdomes euer may be one . This County of all Scotland is most poore , By reason of the outrages before , Yet mighty store of Corne I saw there growe , And as good grasse as euer man did mowe : And as that day I twenty miles did passe , I saw eleuen hundred Neat at grasse , By which may be coniectur'd at the least , That there was sustenance for man and beast . And in the Kingdome I haue truly scand , There 's many worser parts , are better mand , For in the time that theeuing was in vre , The Gentles fled to places more secure . And left the poorer sort , t' abide the paine , Whilest they could ne're finde time to turne againe . That Shire of Gentlemen is scarce and dainty , Yet there 's reliefe in great aboundance plenty , Twixt it and England , little oddes I see , They eate , and liue , and strong and able bee , So much in Verse , and now I le change my stile , And seriously I 'le write in Prose a while . To the purpose then ; my first nights Lodging in Scotland was at a place called Mophot , which they say is thirty miles from Carlile , but I suppose them to be longer then forty of such miles as are betwixt London and S. Albanes , ( but indeed the Scots doe allow almost as large measure of their miles , as they doe of their drinke , for an English Gallon either of Ale or Wine , is but their quart , and one Scottish mile now and then may well stand for a mile and a halfe or two English ) but howsoeuer short or long , I found that dayes iourney the weariest that euer I footed ; and at night being come to the Towne , I found good ordinary Countrey entertainment ; my fare , and my lodging was sweete and good , and might haue serued a far better man then my selfe , although my selfe haue had many times better : but this is to be noted , that though it Rained not all the day , yet it was my fortune to be well wet twise , for I waded ouer a great Riuer called Eske in the morning , somewhat more then 4. miles distance from Carlile in England , and at night within two miles of my lodging , I was faine to wade ouer the Riuer of Annan in Scotland , from which Riuer the County of Annandale hath it's name . And whilst I waded on foote , my man was mounted on horse-backe , like the George without the Dragon . But the next morning , I arose and left Mophot behind me , and that day I trauailed twenty one miles to a sory Village called Blithe , but I was blithe my selfe to come to any place of harbour or succour , for since I was borne , I neuer was so weary , or so neere being dead with extreame trauell ; I was founderd and refounderd of all foure , and for my better comfort , I came so late , that I must lodge without doore all night , or else in a poore house where the good wife lay in Child-bed , her husband being from home , her owne seruant Mayd being her nurse . A Creature naturally compacted and artificially adorned with incomparable homelines ; but as thinges were I must either take or leaue , and necessity made me enter , where we gat Egges and Ale by measure and by tale . At last to bed I went , my man lying on the floore by me , where in the night there were Pidgeons did very bountifully mute in his face : the day being no sooner come , and I hauing but fifteene miles to Ederborough , mounted vpon my ten toes , and began first to hobble , and after to Amble , and so being warme , I fell to pace by degrees ; all the way passing through a most plentifull , and firtill Countrey for Corne and Cattle : and about two of the clocke in the afternoone that Wednesday , being the thirteenth of August , and the day of Clare the Virgin ( the Signe being in Virgo ) the Moone foure dayes olde , the winde at , West , I came to take rest , at the wished , long expected , Auncient famous Citty of Edenborough , which I entred like pierce penilesse , altogether monyles , but I thanke God not friendlesse ; for being there , for the time of my stay I might borrow , ( if any man would lend ) spend if I could get , begge if I had the impudence , and steale if I durst aduenture the price of a hanging , but my purpose was to house my horse , and to suffer him and my Apparell to Lye in durance , or Lauender in stead of Litter , till such time , as I could meete with some valiant friend that would desperately disburse . Walking thus downe the street , ( my body being tyred with Trauell , and my minde attyred with moody , muddy , Moore-ditch melancholly ) my Contemplation did deuoutly pray , that I might meete one or other to prey vpon , being willing to take any slender acquaintance of any man whatsoeuer , viewing , and circumuiewing euery mans face I met , as if I meant to draw his picture , but all my acquaintance was Non est inuentus , ( pardon me Reader , that Latine is none of mine owne , I sweare by Priscians Pericranion , an oath which I haue ignorantly broken many times . ) At last I resolu'd , that the next Gentleman that I met withall , should be acquaintance whether he would or no , and presently fixing mine eyes vpon a Gentleman-like obiect , I looked on him as if I would suruay something through him , and make him my perspectiue : and he much musing at my gazing , and I much gazing at his musing , at last hee crost the way and made toward me , and then I made downe the streete from him , leauing him to encounter with my man who came after me leading my Horse , whome hee thus Accosted . My friend ( quoth hee ) doth yonder Gentleman , ( meaning mee ) know mee that he lookes so wistly on me ; truely Sr. said my man I thinke not , but my Mr. is a stranger come from London , and would gladly meete with some acquaintance to direct him where he may haue lodging and horse-meate : presently the Gentleman , ( being of a generous disposition ) ouer-tooke me with vnexpected and vndeserued courtesie , brought me to a lodging , and caused my Horse to bee put into his owne Stable , whilest we discoursing ouer a pinte of Spanish . I related asmuch English to him as made him lend me Ten shillings , ( his name was Mr. Iohn Maxwell ) which money I am sure was the first that I handled after I came from out the walles of London : but hauing rested two houres and refreshed my selfe , the Gentleman and I walked to see the Citty , and the Castle , which as my poore vnable and vnworthy pen can , I will truely discribe . The Castle on a loftie Rocke is so strongly grounded , bounded , and founded , that by force of man it can neuer bee confounded ; the Foundation and Walles are vnpenetrable , the Rampiers Impregnable , the Bulwarkes Inuincible , no way but one to it is or can be possible to be made passable . In a word , I haue seene many Straights and Fortresses , in Germany , the Netherlands , Spaine , and England , but they must all giue place to this vnconquered Castle both for strength and Scituation . Amongst the many memorable thinges which I was shewed there , I noted especially a Great peece of Ordinance of Iron , it is not for batterie , but it will serue to defend a breach , or to tosse balles of wilde-fire against any that should assaile or assault the Castle ; it lyes now dismounted . And it is so great within , that it was tolde mee that a Childe was once gotten there , but I to make tryall crept into it , lying on my backe , and I am sure there was Roome enough and spare for a greater then my selfe . So leauing the Castle , as it is both defenciue against any opposition , and magnificke for Lodging and Receite , I descend lower to the Citty , wherein I obserued the fairest and goodliest Street that euer mine eyes beheld , for I did neuer see or heare of a streete of that length , ( which is halfe an English mile from the Castle to a faire Port which they call the Neather-bow ) and from that Port the streete which they call the Kenny-hate is one quarter of a mile more : downe to the Kings Pallace called Holy-rood-House , The buildings on each side of the way being all of squared stone , fiue , sixe , and seauen Storyes high , and many by Lanes and Closes on each side of the way , wherein are Gentlemens houses , much fairer then the buildings in the high streete , for in the High-street the Marchants and Tradesmen doe dwell , but the Gentlemens mansions and goodliest Houses are obscurely founded in the aforesaid Lanes : the Walles are eight or ten Foote thicke , exceeding strong , not built for a day , a weeke , or a month , or a yeare ; but from Antiquitie to Posteritie , for many Ages ; There I found entertainment beyond my expectation or merite , and there is Fish , Flesh , Bread and Fruite , in such variety , that I thinke I may offencelesse call it superfluitie , or sacietie . The worst was , that Wine and Ale was so scarce , and the people there such Mizers of it , that euery night before I went to bed , if any man had asked mee a Ciuill question , all the wit in my head could not haue made him a Sober answer . I was at his Maiesties Pallace , a Stately and princely seate , wherein I saw a sumptuous Chappell most richly adorned , with all apurtenances belonging to so sacred a place , or so Royall an owner . In the inner Court , I saw the Kings Armes cunningly carued in stone , and fixed ouer a doore aloft on the wall , the red Lyon being the Crest , ouer which was written this inscription in Latine , Nobis haec inuicta miserunt , 105. proaui . I enquired what the English of it was ? it was told me as followeth , which I thought worthy to be recorded . 106. Fore-fathers hath left this to vs vnconquered . This is a worthy and a memorable Motto , and I thinke few Kingdomes or none in the world can truly write the like , that notwithstanding so many inroades ▪ incursions , attempts , assaults , ciuill warres , and forraigne hostilities , bloodie battels , and mightie foughten fields , that maugre the strength and pollicie of enemies , that Royall Crowne and Scepter hath from one hundred and seauen descents , keepe still vnconquered , and by the power of the King of Kings ( through the grace of the Prince of peace ) is now left peacefully to our peacefull King , whom long in blessed peace , the God of peace defend and gouerne . But once more , a word or two of Edinborough , although I haue scarcely giuen it that due which belongs vnto it , for their lofty and stately buildings , and for their faire and spacious streete , yet my minde perswades me that they in former ages that first founded that Citie , did not so well in that they built it in so discommodious a place ; for the Sea , and all nauigable Riuers , being the chiefe meanes for the enriching of Townes and Cities , by the reason of Traffique with forraigne Nations , with exportation , transportation , and receite of variety of Marchantdizing ; so this Citie had it beene built but one mile lower on the Sea side , I doubt not but it had long before this beene comparable to many a one of our greatest Townes and Cities in Europe , both for spaciousnesse of bounds , Port , state , and riches . It is said that King Iames the fifth ( of famous memorie ) did graciously offer to purchase for them , and to bestow vpon them freely , certaine lowe and pleasant grounds a mile from them on the Sea shore , with these conditions , that they should pull downe their Citie , and build it in that more commodious place , but the Citizens refused it : and so now it is like ( for me ) to stand where it doth , for I doubt such another proffer of remoueall will not be presented to them , till two dayes after the Faire . Now haue with you for Leeth , whereto I no sooner came , but I was well entertained by Mr. Barnard Lindsay , one of the Groomes of his Maiesties Bed-chamber , hee knew my estate was not guilty , because I brought no guilt with mee ( more then my sinnes , and they would not passe for current there ) hee therefore did replenish the vaustity of my emptie purse , and discharged a peece at mee with two bullets of gold , each being in value worth eleuen shillings white money : and I was credibly informed that within the compasse of one yeare , there was shipped away from that onely Port of Leeth , fourescore thousand Boles of Wheate , Oates , and Barley , into Spaine , France , and other forraigne parts , and euery Bole containes the measure of foure English bushels , so that from Leeth onely hath beene transported three hundred and twenty thousand bushels of Corne ; besides some hath beene shipped away from St. Andrewes , from Dundee , Aberdeene , Disert , Kirkady , Kinghorne , Burnt-Iland , Dunbar , and other portable Townes , which makes mee to wonder that a Kingdome so populous as it is , should neuerthelesse sell so much bread corne beyond the Seas , and yet to haue more then sufficient for themselues . So I hauing viewed the Hauen and Towne of Leeth , tooke a passage Boate to see the new wondrous Well , to which many a one that is not well , comes farre and neere in hope to be made well : indeede I did heare that it had done much good , and that it hath a rare operation to expell or kill diuers maladies ; as to prouoke appetite , to helpe much for the auoyding of the grauell in the bladder , to cure sore eyes , and olde vlcers , with many other vertues which it hath , but I ( through the mercy of God hauing no neede of it , did make no great inquisition what it had done , but for nouelty I dranke of it , and I found the taste to be more pleasant then any other water , sweet almost as milke , yet as cleare as cristall , and I did obserue that though a man did drinke a quart , a pottell , or as much as his belly could containe , yet it neuer offended or lay heauie vpon the stomacke , no more then if one had dranke but a pint or a small quantity . I went two miles from it to a towne called Burnt-Iland , where I found many of my especiall good friends , as M. Robert Hay , one of the Groomes of his Maiesties Bed-chamber , Maister Dauid Drummond , one of his Gentlemen Pentioners ▪ Maister Iames Acmooty , one of the Groomes of the Priuie Chamber , Captaine M●rray , Sir Henry Witherington Knight , Captaine Tyrie , and diuers others ▪ and there Master Hay , Maister Drummond , and the good olde Captaine Murray , did very bountifully furnish mee with gold for my expences , but I being at dinner with those aforesaid Gentlemen , as we were discoursing , there befell a strange accident , which I thinke worth the relating . I know not vpon what occasion they began to talke of being at Sea in former times , and I ( amongst the rest ) said I was at the taking of Cales , whereto an English Gentleman replied , that he was the next good voyage after at the Ilands : I answered him that I was there also . He demanded in what Ship I was ? I tolde him in the Rainebowe of the Queenes , why ( quoth hee ) doe you not know mee ? I was in the same Ship , and my name is Witherington . Sir , said I , I doe remember the name well , but by reason that it is neere two and twenty yeeres since I saw you , I may well forget the knowledge of you : well , said hee , if you were in that Ship , I pray you tell me some remarkable token that happened in the voyage : whereupon I tolde him two or three tokens which hee did know to be true . Nay then said I , I will tell you another which ( perhaps ) you haue not forgotten ; as our Ship and the rest of the fleete did ride at Anchor at the I le of Flores ( one of the Isles of the Azores ) there were some fourteene men and boyes of our Ship , that for nouelty would goe a shore , and see what fruit the I land did beare , and what entertainement it would yeeld vs : so being landed , wee went vp and downe and could finde nothing but stones , heath and mosse , and wee expected Oranges , Limonds , Figges , Muske-millions , and Potatoes : in the meane space the winde did blow so stiffe , and the Sea was so extreame rough , that our Ship-boate could not come to the land to fetch vs , for feare she should be beaten in pieces against the rockes ; this continued fiue dayes , so that wee were all almost famished for want of foode : but at last ( I squandring vp and downe ) by the prouidence of God I happened into a Caue or poore habitation , where I found fifteene loaues of bread , each of the quantity of a penny loafe in England , I hauing a valiant stomacke of the age of almost 120. houres breeding , fell too , and eate two loaues and neuer said grace : and as I was about to make a Horse-loafe of the third loafe , I did put 12. of them into my breeches , and my sleeues , and so went mumbling out of the Caue , leaning my backe against a tree , when vpon the sodaine a Gentleman came to me and saide , friend what are you eating , bread quoth I , for Gods sake said hee giue me some , with that I put my hand into my breech , ( beeing my best pantrey ) and I gaue him a Loafe , which hee receiued with many thankes , and saide that if euer hee could requite it hee would . I had no sooner tolde this tale but Sr. Henry Witherington did acknowledge himselfe to bee the man that I had giuen the Loafe vnto 22. yeares before , where I found the Prouerbe true that men haue more priuiledge then mountaines in meeting . In what great measure , hee did requite so small a courtesie , I will relate in this following discourse in my Returne through Northumberland : So leauing my man at the towne of Burnt Iland , I tolde him , I would but goe to Sterling , and see the Castle there , and withall to see my honourable friends the Earle of Marr , and Sir William Murray Knight , Lord of Abercarny , and that I would returne within two dayes at the most : But it fell out quite contrary ; for it was fiue and thirtie dayes before I could get backe againe out of these Noble-mens company . The whole progresse of my trauell with them , and the cause of my stay , I cannot with gratefulnesse omit ; and thus it was . A worthy Gentleman , named Master Iohn Fenton , did bring mee on my way sixe miles , to Dumfermling , where I was well entertained , and lodged at Master Iohn Gibb his house , one of the Groomes of his Maiesties Bed-chamber , and I thinke the oldest Seruant the King hath : withall I was well entertained there by Master Crighton at his owne house , who went with mee , and shewed mee the Queenes Palace ; ( a delicate and a princely Mansion ) withall I saw the ruines of an auncient and stately built Abbey , with faire Gardens , Orchards , and Medowes belonging to the palace : all which with faire and goodly Reuenues , by the suppression of the Abbey , were annexed to the Crowne . There also I saw a very faire Church , which though it be now very large and spacious , yet it hath in former times been much larger . But I taking my leaue of Dumfermling , would needs goe and see the truely noble Knight Sir George Bruce , at a Towne called the Cooras : there hee made mee right welcome , both with varietie of fare , and discourse ; and after all , hee commaunded three of his men to direct mee to see his most admirable Cole-mines ; which ( if man can or could worke wonders ) is a wonder : for my selfe neither in any trauels that I haue been in , nor any History that I haue read , or any Discourse that I haue heard , did neuer see , reade , or heare of any worke of man that might parallell or be equiualent with this vnfellowed and vnmatchable worke : and though all I can say of it , cannot describe it according to the worthinesse of his vigilant industry , that was both the occasion , Inuentor , and Maintainer of it : yet rather then the memory of so rare an Enterprise , and so accomplisht a profit to the Common-wealth shall bee raked and smothered in the dust of obliuion , I will giue a little touch at the description of it , although I amongst Writers , am like he that worst may , holds the candle . The Mine hath two wayes into it , the one by sea and the other by land ; but a man may go into it by land , and returne the same way if he please , and so he may enter into it by sea , and by Sea hee may come foorth of it : but I for varieties sake went in by Sea , and out by Land. Now men may obiect , how can a man goe into a Mine , the entrance of it being in the Sea , but that the Sea wil follow him and so drown the Mine . To which obiection thus I answer , That at a low water , the Sea being ebd away , and a great part of the sand bare ; vpon this same sand ( beeing mixed with rockes and cragges ) did the Master of this great worke build a round circular frame of stone , very thicke , strong , and ioyned together with glutinous or bitunous matter , so high withall ▪ that the Sea at the highest flood , or the greatest rage of storme or tempest , can neither dissolue the stones so well compacted in the building , or yet ouerflowe the height of it . Within this round frame , ( at all aduentures ) hee did set workemen to digge vvith Mattockes , Pickaxes , and other instruments fit for such purposes . They did digge more then fourtie foot downeright , into and through a Rocke . At last they found that which they expected , which was Sea-cole , they following the veine of the Mine , did digge forward still : So that in the space of eight and twentie , or nine and twenty yeares they haue digged more then an English mile under the Sea , that when men are at worke belowe , an hundred of the greatest Shippes in Britaine may saile ouer their ●●●ads . Besides , the Mine is most artificially cut like an Arch or a Vault all that great length , vvith many nookes and by-wayes in it : and it is so made , that a man may walke vpright in the most places , both in and out . Many poore people are there set on worke , which otherwise through the want of imployment would perish . But when I had seene the Mine , and was come foorth of it againe ; after my thankes giuen to Sir George Bruce , I tolde him , that if the plotters of the Powder Treason in England had seene this Mine , that they ( perhaps ) would haue attempted to haue left the Parliament House , and haue vndermined the Thames , and so to haue blowne vp the Barges and Wherries , wherein the King , and all the Estates of our Kingdome were . Moreouer , I said that I could affoord to turne Tapster at London : so that I had but one quarter of a mile of his Mine to make mee a Celler , to keepe Beere and Bottle-ale in . But leauing these Iestes in Prose , I will relate a few Verses that I made merrily of this Mine . I That haue wasted Months , Weekes , Dayes and Howers In viewing Kingdomes , Countreys , Townes and Towers , Without all measure , measuring many paces , And with my pen describing sundrie places , With few additions of my owne deuizing , ( Because I haue a smacke of Coriatizing . ) Our Mandeuill , Primaleon , Don Quixot , Great Amadis , or Huon traueld not As I haue done , or beene where I haue beene , Or heard and seene , what I haue heard and seene ; Nor Britaines Odcomb ( Zanye braue Vlissis ) In all his ambling saw the like as this is . I was in ( would I could describe it well ) A darke , light , pleasant , profitable hell , And as by water I was wafted in , I thought that I in Charons Boate had bin : But being at the entrance landed thus , Three men there ( in the stead of Cerberus ) Conuaid me in , in each ones hand a light To guide vs in that vault of endlesse night . There young and old with glim'ring candles burning , Digge , delue , and labour , turning and returning , Some in a hole with baskets and with baggs , Resembling furies , and infernall haggs : There one like Tantall feeding , and there one , Lake Sisiphus he rowles the restlesse stone . Yet all I saw was pleasure mixt with profit , Which prou'd it to be no tormenting Tophet ; For in this honest , worthy , harmelesse hell , There ne're did any damned Diuell dwell : And th' owner of it gaines by 't more true glory , Then Rome doth by fantastick Purgatory . A long mile thus I past , downe , downe , steepe steepe , In deepenesse farre more deepe , then Neptunes deepe , Whilst o're my head ( in fourefould stories hye ) Was Earth , and Sea , and Ayre , and Sun , and Skie : That had I dyed in that Cimerian roome . Foure Elements had couered ore my tombe : Thus farther then the bottome did I goe , ( And many Englishmen haue not done so ; ) Where mounting Porposes , and mountaine Whales , And Regiments of fish with finnes and Scales , Twixt me and Heauen did freely glide and slide , And where great Ships may at an Anchor ride : Thus in by sea and out by land I past , And tooke my leaue of good Sir George at last . The Sea at certaine places doth leake , or soake into the Mine , which by the industry of Sir George Bruce , is all conueyd to one well neere the land ; where hee hath a deuise like a horsemill that with three horses and a great chaine of Iron , going downeward many fadomes , with thirty sixe buckets fastened to the chaine , of the which eighteene goes downe still to be filled , and eighteene ascends vp to be emptied , which doe empty themselues ( without any mans labour ) into a trough that conueyes the water into the Sea againe ; by which meanes he saues his Myne which otherwise would be destroyed with the Sea , beside he doth make euery weeke ninety or an hundred Tuns of salt , which doth serue part of Scotland , some hee sends into England , and very much into Germany : all which shewes the painefull industry with Gods blessings to such worthy endeauours : I must with many thankes remember his courtesie to mee , and lastly , how he sent his man to guide me ten miles on the way to Sterling , where by the way I saw the outside of a faire and stately house called Allaway , belonging to the Earle of Marr , which by reason that his Honor was not there , I past by and went to Sterling , where I was entertained and lodged at one Mr. Iohn Archibalds , where all my want was that I wanted roome to containe halfe the good cheere that I might haue had there ; hee had me into the Castle , which in few words I doe compare to Windsor for scituation , much more then Windsor in strength , and somewhat lesse in greatnes ; yet I dare affirme , that his Majesty hath not such another hall to any house that he hath neither in England nor Scotland , except Westminster Hall which is now no dwelling Hall for a Prince being long since metamorphosed into a house for the Law and the profits . This goodly Hall was built by King Iames the fourth , that married King Henry the eights sister and after was slaine at Flodden field ; but it surpasses all the halls for dwelling houses that euer I saw , for length , breadth , height and strength of building , the Castle is built vpon a rocke very lofty , and much beyond Edenborough Castle in state and magnificence , and not much inferiour to it in strength , the roomes of it are lofty , with carued workes on the seelings , the doores of each roome beeing so high that a man may ride vpright on horsebacke into any chamber or lodging . There is also a goodly faire Chappell , with Cellers , Stables , and all other necessary Offices , all very stately and besitting the Maiestie of a King. From Sterling I rode to Saint Iohnston , a fine Towne it is , but it is much decayed , by reason of the want of his Maiesties yearely comming to lodge there . There I lodged one night at an Inne , the Goodman of the house his name being Patrick Pettcarne , where my entertainement was with good cheere , good drinke , good lodging , all too good to a bad weary guest . Mine Host tolde mee that the Earle of Marr and Sir William Murray of Abercarny were gone to the great hunting to the Brea of Marre ; but if I made hast I might perhaps finde them at a Towne called Breekin , or Breechin , two and thirty miles from Saint Iohns Stone , wherevpon I tooke a guide to Breekin the next day , but before I came , my Lord was gone from thence foure dayes . Then I tooke another guide , which brought mee such strange wayes ouer mountaines and rockes , that I thinke my horse neuer went the like ; and I am sure I neuer saw any wayes that might fellow them . I did goe through a Country called Glaneske , where passing by the side of a hill , so steepe as is the ridge of a house , where the way was rocky , and not aboue a yard broad in some places , so fearefull and horrid it was to looke downe into the bottome , for if either horse or man had slipt , he had fallen ( without recouery ) a good mile downe-right ; but I thanke God , at night I came to a lodging in the Lard of Eggells Land , where I lay at an Irish house , the folkes not being able to speake scarce any English , but I sup'd and went to bed , where I had not laine long but I was enforced to rise , I was so stung with Irish Musketaes , a Creature that hath sixe legs , & liues like a monster altogether vpon mans flesh , they doe inhabite and breed in most sluttish houses , and this house was none of the cleanliest , the beast is much like a louse in England , both in shape and nature ; in a word they were to me the A. and the Z. the Prologue and the Epilogue , the first and the last that I had in all my trauells from Edenborough ; and had not this highland Irish house helped mee at a pinch , I should haue sworne that all Scotland had not beene so kind as to haue bestowed a Louse vpon me : but with a shift that I had , I shifted off my Caniballs , and was neuer more troubled with them . The next day I trauelled ouer an exceeding high mountaine , called mount Skeene , where I found the valley very warme before I went vp it ; but when I came to the top of it , my teeth beganne to daunce in my head with colde , like Virginall iackes ; and withall , a most familiar mist embraced mee round , that I could not see thrice my length any way : withall , it yeelded so friendly a deaw , that it did moysten through all my clothes : Where the olde Prouerbe of a Scottish Miste was verified , in wetting mee to the skinne . Vp and downe , I thinke this hill is sixe miles , the way so vneuen , stonie , and full of bogges , quagmires , and long heath , that a dogge with three legs will outrunne a horse with foure : for doe what we could , wee were foure houres before we could passe it . Thus with extreame trauell , ascending and descending , mounting & alighting , I came at night to the place where I would bee , in the Brea of Marr , which is a large Countie , all composed of such mountaines , that Shooters Hill , Gads Hill , Highgate Hill , Hampsted hill , Birdlip hill , or Maluerne hilles , are but Mole ▪ hilles in comparison , or like a Liuer , or a Gizard vnder a Capons wing , in respect of the altitude of their toppes , or perpendicularitie of their bottomes . There I saw Mount Benawne , with a furr'd mist vpon his snowie head in stead of a nightcap : ( for you must vnderstand , that the oldest man aliue neuer saw but the snow was on the top of diuers of those hilles , both in Summer , as well as in Winter . ) There did I finde the truely Noble and Right Honourable Lords , Iohn Erskin Earle of Marr , Iames Stuart Earle of Murray , George Gordon Earle of Engye , sonne and heire to the Marquesse of Huntley , Iames Erskin , Earle of Bughan , and Iohn Lord Erskin , sonne and heire to the Earle of Marre , and their Countesses , with my much honoured , and my best assured and approoued friend , Sir William Murray Knight , of Abercarnye , and hundred of others Knights , Esquires , and their followers ; all and euery man in generall in one habit , as if Licurgus had beene there and made Lawes of Equalitie : For once in the yeare , which is the whole moneth of August , and sometimes part of September ; many of the Nobilitie and Gentry of the Kingdome ( for their pleasure ) doe come into these high-land Countreyes to hunt , where they doe all conforme themselues to the habite of the high-land men , who for the most part speake nothing but Irish ; and in former time were those people which were called the Redshankes : Their habite is shooes with but one sole apiece ; stockings ( which they call short hose ) made of a warme stuffe of diuers colours , which they call Tartane : as for breeches , many of them , nor their forefathers neuer wore any , but a ierkin of the same stuffe that their hose is of , their garters beeing bands or wreathes of hay or straw , with a plead about their shoulders , which is a mantle of diuers colours , much finer and lighter stuffe then their hose , with blew flat caps on their heads , a handkerchiefe knit with two knots about their neckes : and thus are they attyred . Now their weapons are long bowes , and forked arrowes , Swords and Targets , Harquebusses , Muskets , Durks and Loquhabor Axes . With these Armes I found many of them armed for the hunting . As for their Attire , any man of what degree soeuer that comes amongst them , must not disdaine to weare it : for if they doe , then they will disdaine to hunt , or willingly to bring in their dogges : but if men bee kinde vnto them , and bee in their habit ; then are they conquered with kindnesse , and the sport will be plentifull . This was the reason that I found so many Noblemen and Gentlemen in those shapes . But to proceed to the Hunting . My good Lord of Marr hauing put me into that shape , I rode with him from his house , where I saw the ruines of an olde Castle , called the Castle of Kindroghit . It was built by King Malcolm Canmore ( for a hunting horse ) who raigned in Scotland when Edward the Confessor , Harold , and Norman William raigned in England : I speake of it , because it was the last house that I saw in those parts ; for I was the space of twelue dayes after , before I saw either house , corne fielde , or habitation for any creature , but Deere , wilde Horses , Wolues , and such like Creatures , which made mee doubt that I should neuer haue seene a house againe . Thus the first day wee traueld 8. miles , where there were small cottages built on purpose to lodge in , which they call Lonquhards , I thanke my good Lord Erskin , he commanded that I should alwayes bee lodged in his lodging , the Kitchin being alwayes on the side of a banke , many Kettles and Pots boyling , and many spits turning and winding , with great variety of cheere : as Venison bak't , sodden , rost , and stu'de Beefe , Mutton , Goates , Kid , Hares , fresh Salmon , Pidgeons , Hens , Capons , Chickins , Partridge , Moorecoots , Heathcocks , Caperkellies and Termagants ; good Ale , Sacke , White and Claret , Tent ( or Allegant ) with most potent Aqua vitae . All these and more then these wee had continually , in superfluous aboundance , caught by Faulconers , Foulers , and Fishers , and brought by my Lords tenants and purueyers to victuall our Campe , which consisted of fourteene or fifteene hundred men and horses ; the manner of the hunting is this . Fiue or sixe hundred men doe rise early in the morning , and they doe disperse themselues diuers wayes , and 7.8 . or 10. miles compasse they doe bring or chase in the Deere in many heards , ( two , three , or foure hundred in a heard ) to such or such a place as the Noblemen shall appoint them ; then when day is come , the Lords and Gentlemen of their Companies , doe ride or goe to the said places , sometimes wading vp to the middles through bournes and riuers : and then they being come to the place , doe lye downe on the ground , till those foresaid Scouts which are called the Tinckhell do bring downe the Deere : But as the Prouerbe sayes of a bad Cooke , so these Tinkhell men doe lick their owne fingers ; for besides their bowes and arrowes which they carry with them , wee can heare now and then a harguebuse or a musquet goe off , which they doe seldome discharge in vaine : Then after wee had stayed three houres or thereabouts , wee might perceiue the Deere appeare on the hills round about vs , ( their heads making a shew like a wood ) which being followed close by the Tinkhell , are chased downe into the valley where wee lay ; then all the valley on each side being way-laid with a hundred couple of strong Irish Grey-hounds , they are let loose as occasion serues vpon the heard of Deere , that with Dogges , Gunnes , Arrowes , Durks and Daggers , in the space of two houres fourescore fat Deere were slaine , which after are disposed of some one way and some another , twenty or thirty miles , and more then enough left for vs to make merry withall at our Rendeuouze . I liked the sport so well , that I made these two Sonnets following . WHy should I wast Inuention to endite , Ouidian fictions , or Olympian games ? My misty Muse enlightened with more light , To a more noble pitch her ayme She frames . I must relate to my great Maister IAMES , The Calydonian anuall peacefull warre ; How noble mindes doe eternize their fames By martiall meeting in the Brea of Marr : How thousand gallant Spirits come neere and farre , With Swords and Targets , Arrowes , Bowes and Gunnes , That all the Troope to men of iudgement , are The God of Warres great neuer conquered Sonnes . The Sport is Manly , yet none bleed but Beasts , And last , the Victors on the Vanquisht feasts . IF Sport like this can on the Mountaines bee , Where Phoebus flames can neuer melt the Snow : Then let who lift delight in Vales below , Skie-kissing Mountaine pleasures are for me : What brauer obiect can mans eyesight see , Then Noble , Worshipfull , and worthy wights , As if they were prepard for sundry fights , Yet all in sweet society agree : Through Heather , Mosse , 'mongst frogs , and bogs , and fogs , Mongst craggy cliffes , and thunder battered hills , Hares , Hindes , Buckes , Rees are chas'd by Man and Dogs , Where two howres Hunting fourescore fat Deere killes . Low lands , your Sports are low as is your Seate , The High-land Games and Minds , are high and great . Beeing come to our lodgings , there was such Baking , Boyling , Rosting , and Stewing , as if Cooke Ruffian had beene there to haue scalded the Deuill in his feathers : and after supper a fire of firre wood as high as an indifferent May-pole : for I assure you , that the Earle of Marre will giue any man that is his friend , for thankes , as many Firre trees ( that are as good as any shippes mastes in England ) as are worth ( if they were in any place neere the Thames , or any other portable Riuer ) the best Earledome in England or Scotland either : For I dare affirme hee hath as many growing there , as would serue for mastes ( from this time to the end of the world ) for all the Shippes , Carackes , Hoyes , Galleyes , Boates , Drumlers , Barkes , and Water-craftes , that are now , or can bee in the world these fourtie yeares . This sounds like a lie to an vnbeleeuer ; but I and many thousands doe knowe that I speake within the compasse of truth : for indeede ( the more is the pitie ) they doe growe so farre from any passage of water , and withall in such rockie Mountaines , that no way to conuey them is possible to bee passable either with Boate , Horse , or Cart. Thus hauing spent certaine dayes in Hunting in the Brea of Marr , wee went to the next Countie called Bagenoch , belonging to the Earle of Engye , where hauing such sport and entertainement as wee formerly had ; after foure or fiue dayes pastime , wee tooke leaue of hunting for that yeare ; and tooke our iourney toward a strong house of the Earles , called Ruthen in Bagenoch , where my Lord of Engye and his noble Countesse ( being daughter to the Earle of Argile ) did giue vs most noble welcome three dayes . From thence wee went to a place called Ballo Castle , a faire and stately house ; a worthy Gentleman beeing the owner of it , called the Lard of Graunt ; his wife beeing a Gentlewoman honourably descended , being sister to the right Honourable Earle of Atholl , and to Sir Patricke Murray Knight ; shee beeing both inwardly and outwardly plentifully adorned with the guifts of Grace and Nature : so that our cheere was more then sufficient ; and yet much lesse then they could affoord vs. There staied there foure dayes , foure Earles , one Lord , diuers Knights and Gentlemen , and their seruants , footemen and horses ; and euery meale foure long Tables furnished with all varieties : Our first and second course beeing threescore Dishes at one boord ; and after that alwayes a Banquet : and there if I had not forsworne wine till I came to Edinbrough , I thinke I had there dranke my last . The fifth day with much adoe wee gate from thence to Tarnaway , a goodly house of the Earle of Murrayes , ●●here that right Honourable Lord and his Ladie did welcome vs foure dayes more . There was good cheere in all varietie , with somewhat more then plentie for aduantage : for indeed the Countie of Murray is the most pleasantess , and plentifullest Countrey in all Scotland ; being plaine land , that a Coach may bee driuen more then foure and thirtie myles one way in it , all alongst by the Sea-coast . From thence I went to Elgen in Murray , an auncient Citie , where there stood a faire and beautifull Church with three steeples , the walles of it and the steeples all yet standing ; but the Roofe , Windowes , and many Marble Monuments and Toombes of honourable and worthie personages all broken and defaced : this was done in the time when ruine bare rule , and Knox knock'd downe Churches . From Elgen we went to the B. of Murray his house which is called Spinye , or Spinaye . A reuerend Gentleman hee is , of the noble name of Dowglasse , where wee were very well welcomed , as befitted the honour of himselfe and his guests . From thence wee departed to the Lord Marquesse of Huntleyes , to a sumptuous house of his , named the Bogg of Geethe , where our entertainement was like himselfe , free , bountifull and honourable . There ( after two dayes stay ) with much entreatie and earnest suite , I gate leaue of the Lords to depart towards Edinbrough : the Noble Marquesse , the Earles of Marr , Murray , Engie , Bughan , and the Lord Erskin ; all these , I thanke them , gaue me gold to defray my charges in my iourney . So after fiue and thirtie dayes hunting and trauell , I returning , past by another stately mansion of the Lord Marquesses , called Stroboggy , and so ouer Carny mount to Breekin , where a wench that was borne deafe and dumbe came into my chamber at mid-night ( I beeing asleepe ) and shee opening the bed , would faine haue lodged with mee : But had I beene a Sardanapalus , or a Heliogobalus , I thinke that either the great trauell ouer the Mountaines had tamed me ; or if not , her beautie could neuer haue mooued me . The best parts of her were , that her breath was as sweet as sugar-carrion , being very well shouldered beneath the waste ; and as my Hostesse tolde mee the next morning , that shee had changed her Maiden-head for the price of a Bastard not long before . But howsoeuer , shee made such a hideous noyse , that I started out of my sleepe , and thought that the Deuill had beene there : but I no sooner knewe who it was , but I arose , and thrust my dumbe beast out of my chamber ; and for want of a locke or a latch , I staked vp my doore with a great chaire . Thus hauing escaped one of the seuen deadly sinnes at Breekin , I departed from thence to a Towne called Forfard ; and from thence to Dundee , and so to Kinghorne , Burnt Iland , and so to Edinbrough , where I stayed eight dayes , to recouer my selfe of falles and bruises which I receiued in my trauell in the high-land mountainous Hunting . Great welcome I had shewed mee all my stay at Edinbrough , by many worthy Gentlemen , namely , olde Master George Todrigg , Master Henry Leuingston , Master Iames Henderson , Master Iohn Maxwell , and a number of others , who suffered me to want no wine or good cheere , as may be imagined . Now the day before I came from Edinbrough , I went to Leeth , where I found my long approoued and assured good friend Master Beniamin Iohnson , at one Master Iohn Stuarts house : I thanke him for his great kindnesse towards mee : for at my taking leaue of him , hee gaue mee a piece of golde of two and twentie shillings to drinke his health in England . And withall , willed mee to remember his kinde commendations to all his friendes : So with a friendly farewell , I left him , as well , as I hope neuer to see him in a worse estate : for hee is amongst Noble-men and Gentlemen that knowes his true worth , and their owne honours , where with much respectiue loue hee is worthily entertained . So leauing Leeth , I return'd to Edinbrough , and within the port or gate , called the Netherbowe , I discharged my pockets of all the money I had : and as I came pennilesse within the walles of that Citie at my first comming thither ; so now at my departing from thence , I came monesse out of it againe ; hauing in my company to conuey mee out , certaine Gentlemen , amongst the which was Master Iames Acherson , Laird of Gasford , a Gentleman that brought mee to his house , where with great entertainement hee and his good wife did welcome me . On the morrowe he sent one of his men to bring mee to a place , called Adam , to Master Iohn Acmootye his house , one of the Groomes of his Maiesties Bed-chamber ; where with him , and his two brethren , Master Alexander , and Master Iames Acmootye , I found both Cheere and Welcome not inferiour to any that I had had in any former place . Amongst our viands that wee had there , I must not forget the Sole and Goose , a most delicate Fowle , which breedes in great aboundance in a little Rocke called the Basse , which stands two miles into the Sea. It is very good flesh , but it is eaten in the forme as wee eate Oysters , standing at a side-boord , a little before dinner , vnsanctified without grace ; and after it is eaten , it must be well liquored with two or three good rowses of Sherrie or Canarie sacke . The Lord or Owner of the Basse doth profite at the least two hundred pound yearely by those Geese ; the Basse it selfe being of a great height , and neere three quarters of a mile in campasse , all fully replenished with Wildfowle , hauing but one small entrance into it , with a house , a garden , and a Chappell in it ; and on the toppe of it a Well of pure fresh water . From Adam Mr. Iohn and Mr. Iames Acmootye went to the Towne of Dunbarr with mee , where tenne Scottish pintes of wine were consumed and brought to nothing for a farewell : there at Master Iames Baylies house I tooke leaue , and Master Iames Acmootye comming for England , said , that if I would ride with him , that neither I nor my horse should want betwixt that place and London . Now I hauing no money or meanes for trauell , beganne at once to examine my manners , and my want : at last my want perswaded my manners to accept of this worthy Gentlemans vndeserued courtesie . So that night hee brought mee to a place called Cober spath , where wee lodged at an Inne , the like of which I dare say , is not in any of his Maiesties Dominions . And for to shewe my thankfulnesse to Master William Arnet and his wife , the owners thereof , I must a little explaine their bonntifull entertainement of guests , which is this : Suppose tenne , fifteene , or twentie men and horses come to lodge at their house , the men shall haue flesh , tame and wild-fowle , fish , with all varietie of good cheere , good lodging , and welcome ; and the horses shall want neither hay or prouender : and in the morning at their departure the reckoning is iust nothing . This is this worthy Gentlemans vse , his chiefe delight beeing onely to giue strangers entertainement gratis : And I am sure , that in Scotland beyond Edinbrough ▪ I haue beene at houses like Castles for building ; the Master of the house his Beauer being his blew Bonnet , one that will weare no other shirts , but of the Flaxe that growes in his owne ground ; and of his wiues , daughters , or seruants spinning ; that hath his Stockings , Hose , and Ierkin of the Wooll of his owne sheepes backes ; that neuer ( by his pride of Apparell ) caused Mercer , Draper , Silke-man , Embroyderer , or Haberdasher to breake and turne bankerupt : and yet this plaine home-spunne fellow keepes and maintaines thirtie , fourtie , fiftie seruants , or perhaps more , euery day releeuing three or fourescore poore people at his gate ; and besides all this , can giue Noble entertainement for foure or fiue dayes together to fiue or sixe Earles and Lords , besides Knights , Gentlemen & their followers , if they be three or foure hundred men and horse of them , where they shall not onely feed but feast , and not feast but banquet , this is a man that desires to know nothing so much as his duty to God and his King whose greatest cares are to practise the works of Piety , Charity , and Hospitality : hee neuer studies the consuming Art of fashionlesse fashions , hee neuer tries his strength to beare foure or fiue hundred Acres on his backe at once , his legges are alwayes at liberty , not being fettered with golden garters , and manacled with artificiall Roses , whose weight ( sometime ) is the last Relliques of some decayed Lordship : Many of these worthy house-keepers there are in Scotland , amongst some of them I was entertained ; from whence I did truely gather these aforesaid obseruations . So leauing Coberspath we rode to Barwicke , where the worthy old Soldier and ancient Knight , Sir William Bowyer , made me welcome ; but contrary to his will , we lodged at an Inne , where Mr. Iames Acmooty paid all charges : but at Barwicke there was a grieuous chance hapned , which I think not fit the relation to be omitted . In the Riuer of Tweed , which runnes by Barwicke are taken by Fishermen that dwell there , infinite numbers of fresh Salmons , so that many housholds and families are relieued by the profit of that Fishing ; but ( how long since I know not ) there was an order that no man or boy whatsoeuer should Fish vpon a Sunday : This order continued long amongst them , till some eight or nine weekes before Michaelmas last , on a Sunday , the Salmons plaid in such great aboundance in the Riuer , that some of the Fishermen ( contrary to Gods law and their owne order ) tooke boates and nettes and Fished , and caught neere three hundred Salmons ; but from that time vntill Michaelmas day that I was there which was nine weekes , and heard the report of it , and saw the poore peoples miserable lamentations , they had not seene one Salmon in the Riuer ; and some of them were in despaire that they should neuer see any more there ; affirming it to be God , Iudgement vpon them for the prophanation of the Saboth . The thirtieth of September wee rode from Barwicke to Belford , from Belford to Anwick the next day from Anwick to Newcastle , where I found the noble Knight , Sir Henry Witherington ; who , because I would haue no gold nor siluer , gaue mee a bay Mare , in requitall of a loafe of bread that I had giuen him two and twenty yeares before , at the lland of Flores , of the which I haue spoken before . I ouertooke at Newcastle a great many of my worthy friends , which were all comming for London , namely , Maister Robert Hay , and Maister Dauid Drummond , where I was well welcom'd at Maister Nicholas Tempests house . From Newcastle I rode with those Gentlemen to Durham , to Darington , to Northallerton , and to Topeliffe in Yorkshire , where I tooke my leaue of them , and would needs try my pennilesse fortunes by my selfe , and see the Citty of Yorke , where I was lodged at my Right Worshipfull good friends , Maister Doctor Hudson one of his Maiesties Chaplaines , who went with me , and shewed me the goodly Minster Church there , and the most admirable , rare-wrought , vnfellowed Chapter house . From Yorke I rode to Doncaster , where my horses were well fed at the Beare , but my selfe found out the honourable Knight , Sir Robert Anstruther at his father in lawes , the truely noble Sir Robert Swifts house , hee being then high Sheriffe of Yorkeshire , where with their good Ladies , and the right Honourable the Lord Sanquhar , I was stayed two nights and one day , Sir Robert Anstruther ( I thanke him ) not onely paying for my two horses meat , but at my departure , hee gaue mee a Letter to Newarke vpon Trent , twenty eight miles in my way , where Mr. George Atkinson mine host made me as welcome as if I had beene a French Lord , and what was to bee paid , as I cal'd for nothing , I paid as much ; and left the reckoning with many thankes to Sir Robert Anstruther . So leauing Newarke , with another Gentleman that ouertooke mee , wee came at night to Stamford , to the signe of the Virginitie ( or the Maydenhead ) where I deliuered a Letter from the Lord Sanquhar ; which caused Master Bates and his wife , being the Master and Mistresse of the house , to make mee and the Gentleman that was with mee great cheare for nothing . From Stamford the next day wee rode to Huntington , where wee lodged at the Post-masters house , at the signe of the Crowne ; his name is Riggs . Hee was informed who I was , and wherefore I vndertooke this my pennilesse Progresse : wherefore hee came vp into our chamber , and sup'd with vs , and very bountifully called for three quarts of Wine and Sugar , and foure lugges of Beere . Hee did drinke and beginne Healths like a Horse-leech , and swallowed downe his cuppes without feeling , as if he had had the dropsie , or nine pound of Spunge in his maw . In a word , as hee is a Poste , hee dranke poste , striuing and calling by all meanes to make the Reckoning great , or to make vs men of great reckoning . But in his payment hee was tyred like a Iade , leauing the Gentleman that was with mee to discharge the terrible Shott , or else one of my horses must haue laine in pawne for his superfluous calling , and vnmannerly intrusion . But leauing him , I left Huntington , and rode on the Sunday to Packeridge , where Master Holland at the Faulkon , ( mine olde acquaintance ) and my louing and auncient Hoste gaue mee , my friend , my man , and our horses excellent good cheere , and welcome , and I paid him with , Not a penie of money . The next day I came to London , and obscurely comming within Moore-gate , I went to a house and borrowed money : And so I stole backe againe to Islington , to the signe of the Mayden-head , staying till Wednesday that my friendes came to meete mee , who knewe no other , but that Wednesday was my first comming : where with all loue I was entertained with much good cheere : and after Supper wee had a play of the life and death of Guy of Warwicke , plaied by the Right Honourable the Earle of Darbie his men . And so on the Thursday morning beeing the fifteenth of October , I came home to my house in London . THE EPILOGVE TO all my Aduenturers and others . THus did I neither spend , or begge , or aske , By any course , direct , or indirectly : But in each tittle I perform'd my taske , According to my bill most circumspectly . I vow to God I haue done SCOTLAND wrong , ( And ( iustly ) gainst me it may bring an Action ) I haue not giuen 't that right which doth belong , For which I am halfe guilty of detraction : Yet had I wrote all things that there I saw , Misiudging censures would suppose I flatter , And so my name I should in question draw , Where Asses bray , and pratling Pies doe chatter : Yet ( arm'd with truth ) I publish with my Pen , That there th' Almighty doth his blessings heape , In such aboundant food for Beasts and Men ; That I ne're saw more plenty or more cheape : Thus what mine eyes did see , I doe beleeue ; And what I doe beleeue I know is true : And what is true vnto your hands I giue , That what I giue may be beleeu'd of you . But as for him that sayes I lye or dote , I doe returne , and turne the Lye in 's throate . Thus Gentlemen , amongst you take my ware , You share my thankes , and I your moneyes share . Yours in all obseruance and gratefulnesse , euer to be commanded . IOHN TAYLOR . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13485-e560 My thankes to Sir Iohn & S. George Dalstone , with Sir Hen : Gurwin Ouer Eskl waded . The afore named Knightes had giuen money to my Guile of which hee left some part at euery Ale-hoose . 
A13479	----	The nipping and snipping of abuses: or The woolgathering of vvitte With the Muses Taylor, brought from Parnassus by land, with a paire of oares wherein are aboue a hundred seuerall garments of diuers fashions, made by nature, without the helpe of art, and a proclamation from hell in the Deuils name, concerning the propogation, and excessiue vse of tobacco. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1614 Approx. 137 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 52 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13479 STC 23779 ESTC S118233 99853441 99853441 18824 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13479) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18824) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:17) The nipping and snipping of abuses: or The woolgathering of vvitte With the Muses Taylor, brought from Parnassus by land, with a paire of oares wherein are aboue a hundred seuerall garments of diuers fashions, made by nature, without the helpe of art, and a proclamation from hell in the Deuils name, concerning the propogation, and excessiue vse of tobacco. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [96] p. Printed by Ed: Griffin for Nathaniel Butter, and are to be sold at the signe of the Pide-Bull neere Saint Austens-gate, London : 1614. In verse. Signatures: [par.]⁴ A-L⁴. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. L3 mutilated. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-09 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE NIPPING OR SNIPPING OF ABVSES : OR The woolgathering of Witte . With The Muses Taylor , brought from Parnassus by land , with a paire of Oares Wherein Are aboue a hundred seuerall Garments of diuers fashions , made by Nature , without the helpe of Art , and A Proclamation from Hell in the Deuils name , concerning the propogation , and excessiue vse of Tobacco . By IOHN TAYLOR . Iudge not , befere thou all doest ouer-looke , And then if Nothing please thee , burne the Booke . LONDON . Printed by Ed : Griffin for Nathaniel Butter , and are to be sold at the signe of the Pide-Bull neere Saint Austens-gate . 1614. To the Sacred Maiesty of King IAMES . To thee I dare not Dedicate my booke , Yet humbly , high my low inuention Ames , That with thy Gracious view ( dread royal IAMES ) Thou wilt bee pleas'd my lines to ouer-looke . A candle lights , when Phoebus hath forsooke To guilde the day with vniuersall flames : And glim'ring glances of the humed Thames Aspects , and obiects to the sight haue strooke . So mighty Soueraigne , and most Learned King , When sweete Arions Harpe , Amphions Lute , Are silent sleeping in their Cases mute : Vouchsafe to heare thy Scullers Muse to singe ; And let Pans Pipe , obtaine a little grace , When Great Appolloes Harpe is out of place . Your Maiesties Humble Seruant , and onely water Poet. IOHN TAYLOR . A Skeltonicall salutation to those that know how to read , and not marre the sense with hacking or mis-construction . THou true vnderstander , my inuention doth wander with the quill of a Gander , to shield me from slander , to thy good protection , I yeeld in subiection , my poore imperfection , with friendly correction , and as thou dost like me , or stroake me or strike me , Reproue me or proue mee , or mooue me , or loue me , or quite me , or spight me , friend me , or mend mee , or else not offend me : If in ought that is written thy humors are bitten , seem not to espy it , and none will descry it . But if thou dost kick , the spurre sure will prick , and if thou doe fling , the waspe then will sting . My verses are made , to ride euery Iade , but they are forbidden , of Iades to be ridden , they shall not be snaffeled , nor braued nor bafflled , weart thou George with thy Naggon , that fought'st with the dragon , or were you great Pōpey , my verse should be thumpe ye , if you like a Iauel against me dare cauill . I doe not entend , it as now to commend it , or yet to defend it . But to thee I doe send it , to like it , or mend it , and when thou hast end it , applaud it or rend it . My wits I could bristle , for a better Epistle , but yet at this time , this Skeltonicall Rime , I send to thy veiw , because it is new , So Reader adue . I thine , if thou mine , IOHN TAYLOR . To the Author and his booke . To the superlatiue Water-Poet Iohn Taylor . NO Water-man , or Sculler art thou none , Nor need thou euer taste of Hellicon : They all mistake thee Iacke , full well I know , Thy Heau'n bred braine could neuer stoope so low : For vnto mee , thou plainely doest appeare The lofty Plannet of the watry Spheare : So that Apollo he himselfe can tell , Thy influence giues water to his well . Thy true friend Ia : Moraye . To the Castalian Water-writer , Splende & dignoscar . A Diall set vpon an eminent place , If clouds doe interuall Appolloes face : Is but a figur'd shape : whereby we knowe No article of Time , which it doth owe : Vnto our expectations , yet we see The tractes by which Times should distinguish'd bee : In paralelled punctual , ciphered lines , Which by a shadow , when the faire sunne shines , Explaines the houres : So if the Sonne of men Thy Glorious Patron , deeme to blesse thy pen With his faire light , Thy Muse so young so faire , ( So wel proportion'd in conceites so rare : And Naturall straines , and stile , and eu'ry part , That Nature therein doth exceed all Art , ) Will then as with Enthusiasme inspir'd Print legends by the world to be admir'd . Thine Iames Ratray . Praecomium Iohannis Taylor . WHat elementall sperms , begot a sparke Of such conceited influence : bearing the marke Of such digestion , in his well knit rimes , As if that Maro rebaptized our times , With well proportion'd iudgement ? this thy note , Distinction knowes not from a grauer cote . Oh where are you , stil'd by the happie names Of loues sole heires : sleepes your immortall flames , In their originall dulnesse see a good ? Borne in the veine of farre inferiour blood . Taylor , I haue tooke measure of thy paines , Discharge my bill with loue , and there 's my gaines . Thine in the best of friendship . Robert Anton. To his honest friend Iohn Taylor , Poeta Nascitur . I Oft ( with other men ) haue wondred why Horace should write an Art of Poetry : Since all men know , a Poets borne a Poet , And no man 's borne an Artist : all men know it : And knowing this , I wonder who should scorne A Poet without Art , that so was borne . Who thinks thy name , or watry education , Is to thy verses any derogation , Is far deceiu'd in both , for all men kno , Taylors are makers , Poets all are so . Nor i' st thy education thee abuses . T 'as brought thee vp a Taylor for the Muses . I could Apollogize , but thou hast don 't If Poets borne haue glory , thou hast won't : Thou hast describ'd the seuerall signes of Heauen , Wherein the sunnes whole Progresse is made euen . Thy Epigrams ; and Anagrams of late Are Philomels sweet notes , let Parrats prate . I dare compare thy Genius with some men That vaunt in Tempe's well t' haue dipt their pen : For ( truly ) they do falsly steale translations , And speake in our tongue things of other Nations . Thy Oares and Sculls hath far out row'd their fames For thou hast row'd from Hellicon , to Thames . Let them vpbraide thee with a Scullers name , And with that title thinke t' obscure thy fame : They cannot Iack for Marriners at seas Take paines , whilst passengers do sit at ease . Thy owne true labour tugs thy verse a shore , Though fooles in each mans boate will haue an Oare . Thine , whether thou wilt or no. Sa : Iones . To my friend by land and by water Iohn Taylor . THese leaues kind Iohn are not to wrap vp drams , That doe containe thy witty Epigrams , Let worser Poems serue for such abuse , Whilst thine shal be referude for better vse . And let each Critick cauill what he can , T is rarely written of a Water-man . Thy friend assured Rob : Branthwaite . To the Muses Taylor , or the Pegafian Sculler . ONe Enuy saies th' art meerely naturall , Another when it doth on fome Art fall : In reading thee , beleeues it not thine owne , Neither detracts thee , for the gift is knowne That 's cald a Poets , to come with his birth , But if this Enuy could make lesse thy worth , The second ads to it , by confessing art In that we know thine : Thus where euery part Of Enuy is examind t is the end , Of all that doe dispraise thee to commend . Thy hearty friend . Sa : Cal. To his friend Iohn Taylor . YOu that read Taylors verse , commend the same , If you haue wit , or else subscribe your Name . Thy friend I. P. Musophily . To my good friend and fellow , Iohn Taylor . ON land , thy water workes , with more praise floates Then Standgate castle , or Thames flaming boates : More fitter for the presse ( puld from thy oare ) Then many which may brag of learning store . If Coriat , or his Crew thy worth doe blemmish The care is taken all , Incumbe Remis . Hold on thy way , though others first shall plie me , Th' art my first man , though last I chance to spy thee . Thy true friend Cornwallis Blague . To the Pegasian Taylor . LOe heere the Tayler of Parnassus spring Whose offall shreads , doe proue quaint well made verses , Whose pen dismist ; straite doth the bottles bring : From Bacchus fuming pipes , to fill Tower Teirces . Who Sculd the Muses brauely or'e the flood , And since that time hath for a Poet stood . Thine Edmund Blague . To the humidious Poet , and my very friend Iohn Taylor . THe Poets old , ( with much head breaking paine ) Did learne of others to compose a verse , But Iohn , thy studdy , neuer broke thy braine : Yet canst in meeter many Acts rehearse . And when thy hand doth tug the heauy oare , Thou canst speake verses , neuer spoke before . Nought comes amisse , for now thou tak'st delight In bitter Satyres to explaine thy minde : Then tragicke like , describst a bloody fight , And straight all mery art to mirth inclinde : Of all thou makst a harmony sometimes To please the inclination of the times . Then spight of each calumnions critticks coller , No Sculler euer came so neere a scholler . Thine as thou wouldest wish , Samuel King. In Laudem Authoris . WEll mightst thou wonder Taylor that I praise Thy home bred Muse , since in these crittick daies It is a Maxim , that who er'e is knowne , To giue to others worth , leaues himselfe none : Did not I see how much adultrous art Paints out the face of poesie for the mart : Of outside stages ; who can from 's loose pen , Shake inke at whores , and country gentlemen : Can make a souldier vtter treason , curse , And Ladies whine , speake as new come from nurse . Who can with this , and an opinion'd fame , A hungry pention purchase , weares the Name Of Poet ; when his idle pate hath nought To speake his art , but that t is deerely bought . ( And yet cheape too ) should we but weigh the paine , And selfe felt guilt , of his translating veine . When I on both looke , by Apollo's fire I laugh at him , and thee I doe admire . Thou ow'st thine owne begettings , which by thee Are made , not fashiond , such should Poets be . Such were the antient Bards , and Druids songs Who vsed their owne language , their owne tongues : Where Nature , vnto me seemes Art to passe As much as Diamonds doe a painted glasse : For if who best translates a Poet were We might haue more then one borne in a yeere . And I haue liu'd an age , and nere saw two , So much vnbought , vnborow'd , yet could show As I haue read from thee , what wouldst thou more Ther 's many weares the Bayes , deserues thy oare . Thy friend Robert Daborne . To his friend Iohn Taylor . GOe friend , let loase thy lines , and measure out The length and breadth of vice , it was a doubt : Thou only wert for a mans Taylor sit , When thou didst through thy measures , wast thy wit On wit-lesse Coriat , but from henceforth The Lawrell Synod shall allow thy worth : With more addicions , for all may see Thou likewise maist a womans Taylor bee . Thou canst with Satyres their streight bodies wring , And loose their skirts againe with sonnetting , Goe on , and from me take a kinde , good speed , With this prouiso vnto those shall read . Let there no Botcher that yet wants his trade Dive to finde fault with that a Taylor made . Will : Rowley . To his deere friend Master Iohn Taylor . ME thinkes I see the Sculler in his boate , With goodly motion glide along faire Thames , And with a charming and bewrehing noate , So sweet delightfull tunes and ditties frames : As greatest Lordings and the nicest Dames , That with attentiue care , did heare thy layes Of force should yeeld due merit to thy praise . Worth to all Water-men , straine forth thy voice To proue so pleasing in the worlds proud eye , As eyes , and eares , and hearts may all reioyce : To see , heare , muse , vpon the melodie . In contemplation of thy harmony , Let Thames faire banckes thy worth and praises ring While I thy worth , and praise , beyond seasing Tho. Gent. To the Water-Poet , Iohn Taylor . HOnest Iohn Taylor though I know 't no grace , To thee , or me , for writing in this place , Yet know I that the multitudes of friends Will thee protect , from vile malignant mindes : The rather cause what euer thou hast showes Is no one mans inuention but thine owne . Malitious minded men will thee despraise ; Enuy debases all , her selfe to raise . Then rest content , whilst to thy greater fame , Both Art , and Nature shrine to raise thy name . Thine euer as thou knowest R : Cadner . To honest Iack Taylor . FRiend Taylor , thou hast here this glory won , Tha 'st made a coate Vrania may put on . I doe applau'd thy quick ingenious spirit , And may thy fortune counteruaile thy merit : Which if it doe ( thy worth I will not flatter , Thou neuer more shalt toyle vpon the water . Thine as the rest of thy friends William Bubb. To his louing friend Iohn Taylor . BEloued friends ; words mend not much the matter , Nor morre the market of thy nat'rall wit : They are but Pyes , and like to Pyes doe chatter That fault thy acte , and so would bemish it . For what is Arte but imitation Ty'de vnto rules , as such and such haue taught ? And what those rules , but approbation Of that which Nature first , in others wrought ? From Nature then it was they tooke their light , The Proto-Poets all , and sung their Rhymes : And why shall we deny our age like right When Nature is the same with former Tynees ? No , no , but since she sendeth forth faire rayes In thy borne-Muse , weare thou with all her Bayes . Fr : Conniers . To my friend Iohn Taylor . IF Homers verse ( in Greeke ) did merrit praise , If Naso in the Lattin won the Bayes , If Maro mongst the Romanes did exell , If Tasso in the Tuscan tongue wrote well , Then Taylor I conclude that thou hast don In English , what immortall Baies hath won . Thy friend Iohn Tap. Tho : Bretnor in commendation of the Author . THat none are Artists but Academiques , T were vaine to thinke and idle to maintaine : Sith Nature's free and tide to no such trickes : As fostred are among the learned traine : The homely Pesant and the country Kerne Haue often better wits then those that learne . And for thy selfe there is no Poet writes With words , or figures more adornd with Art. Thy lines are stuffed with learned Epithites : Such sweet conceits thy pleasing Muse doth dart , That thou seemest wrapt into the highest ayres , When thou but speakest of celestiall Spheares . Then cease not Taylor , garments more to shape , Of this proiection or diuiner matter , Le ts haue another suite of finest drape : And bury not thy talent in the water . That element's cold , but thou art all on fire : Go on , go on , and we will still admire . Thine Tho : Bretnor . To my honest friend Iohn Taylor . THy Taylors sheares foule vices wings hath clipt , The seames of impious dealings are vnript : So Art-like thou these captoius times hast quipt , As if in Hellicon thy pen were dipt , All those who gainst thy worth are Enuious lipt , Thy sharpe Satyrick Muse hath nipt and snipt : And to conclude thy'nuention is not chipt , Or stolne or borowd , begd , or basely gript . Then Taylor thy conceits are truely sowde , And Sculler ( on my word ) it was well rowde . Thine to my best power Enoch Lynde . To him I loue , yet neuer knew . TO praise thee without knowledge , were dispraise : I know thy Wit : in that , thy selfe I raise . Thy ful fetcht-strokes so wafts me o're the Strand , Of deepe Conceit ; as bids me vnderstands , That neuer Taylor shapt ( for such small price ) A Robe so couert , which uncouers Vice. Thy true friend Iohn Handson .. In Landem Authoris . MOst commonly one Taylor will dispraise , Anothers workmanship , enuying alwaies At him that 's better then himselfe reputed , Though he himselfe be but a botcher bruted : So might it well be said of me ( my friend ) Should I not to thy worke some few lines lend , Which to make probable this sentence tendeth , Who not commends , he surely discommendeth : In my illiterate censure these thy rimes , Deserue applause euen in these worst of times : When wit is onely worthy held in those , On whom smooth flattery vaine praise bestowes . But I not minding with thy worth to flatter , Doe know thy wit to good too toyle by water . Rob : Taylor . To my friend Iohn Taylor . THis worke of thine , thou hast compilde so well , It merits better wits thy worth to tell . Thine Maximilian Waad . To my kind friend IOHN TAILOR . FYe Momus cryes , what franticke fit hath firde . The Pelting Sculler thus to play the Poet , As if he were with Homers spirit inspir'de . Cease Critticke , cease , and I will let thee know it . The honest Sculler seeking for a fare , Did meete the Muses in an eu'ning late : And finding them dispos'd to take the ayre ; Such sollace gaue them with his Rusticke prate , As there in guerdon of his homebred sport , It was decreed by all the Sisters nine He should receive ( since other meanes was short ) A brimfull bowle of Heliconian Wine . Since when from him , such sweet conceits doth flow , As merits all the praise thou canst bestow . Againe , IOhn Taylor heere I gladly would commend thee , And wish my note exceeded Ela's straine , Or that my Verse could equali Virgils vaine , Which might from Momus carping brood defend thee . Yet as I can I will this Reader tell , I know no Sculler euer writ so well . Thy friend , Richard Leigh . To my true friend Iohn Tailor AMongst the best that Britaine now doth beare , Grac'd by Apollo , and the Nimphs diuine , Swolne with the Raptures of their great Ingine , I thinke that fewe , or none , to thee comes neere . They want the tru-true tutch stone of the eare , Besides thy makings all are meerely thine , Thou stealst no Chore , not Scene , nor page , nor line , If they doe so , their workes can witnesse beare . Then iustly Iacke , I doe thee most esteeme , Nor art thou alwaies ignorant of Art , For Nature , so in thee doth play her part , As prodigall , not lib'rall shee doth seeme . Whilest thou her Champion , to thy greater grace Mak'st Art to Nature euen in Art giue place . Thine as I liue , Iohn Moraye . The Authors thanks to all those that haue written in his Commendations . RIght worthy , and my welbeloued friends , My loue and seruice shall be all your debters : A Beggers thankes is all the best Amends , And in that paiment you shall all be getters . For words are cheape , and this my Booke affoords Your owne , with double intrest words for words . Yours , I. T. To all in generall on whose names I haue Anagrammatized . MAiesticke Sol whose eye Eclipsing Raies , Shine with admired splendor or'e this land : And all you Mercuries , of Mars his band , Whose words and swords your temples crownes with baies . Your pardons grant me if I haue transgrest , If you forgiue , I le deale with all the rest . Euer at Command in all humble seruice , Iohn Tailor The Authors description of a Poet and Poesie , with an Apollogie in defence of Naturall English Poetrie . SHall Beggers diue into the Acts of Kings ? Shall Nature speake of supernat'rall things , Shall Egles flights atempted be by Gnatts ? Shall mighty Whales be portraied out by Sprate : These things I know vnpossible to be , And it is as vnpossible for me . That am a begger in these Kingly acts , Which from the Heau'ns true Poetry extracts . A supernat'rall foole , by Nature I That neuer knew this high borne mystery , A worthlesse gnat , I know my selfe more weake , Yet of the Princely Egle dare to speake : A silly sprat the Ocean seekes to sound , To seeke this Whale , though seeking he be drown'd : Then to proceed : a Poets Art I know , Is not compact of earthly things below : Nor is of any base substantiall mettle , That in the worlds rotundity doth settle : But t is immortall , and it hath proceeding , From whence diuinest soules haue all their breeding . It is a blessing heau'n hath sent to men , By men it is diuulged with their pen : And by that propogation it is knowne , And ouer all the world disperst and throwne : In verball elocution so refinde , That it to Vertue animates mans mindes The blessed singer of blest Israel , In this rare Art , he rarely did exell , He sweetely Poetyz'd in Heau'nly verses , Such lines which aye eternity rehearses : What Reuerend rate , and glorious great esteeme , Augustus Caesar did a Poet deeme : Admired Virgils life doth plainely show That all the world a Poets worth may know : But leauing Israels King , and Romane Caesar , Let 's seeke in England , English Poets treasure , Sir Phillip Sidney , his times Mars and Muse , That word , and sword so worthily could vse , That spight of death his Glory liu's , alwaies For Conquests , and for Poesie crown'd with bayes : What famous men liu's in this age of ours As if the Sisters nine had left their bowres , With more post hast then expeditious wings They here haue found the Helliconian springs . We of our mighty Monarch IAMES may boast , Who in this heau'nly Art exceeds the most : Where men may see the Muses wisdome well , When such a Glorious house they chose to dwell : The Preacher whose instructions doth afford The soules deere food , the euerliuing word : If Poets skill be banisht from his braine , His preaching ( sometimes ) will be but too plaine : Twixt Poetry and best Diuinity There is such neere , and deere affinity . As t' were propinquity of brothers blood , That without tone , the other 's not so good : The man that takes in hand braue verse to write , And in Diuinity hath no insight , He may perhaps make smoothe , and Art-like Rimes , To please the humors of these idle times : But name of Poet he shal neuer merrit , Thogh writing them he waste his very spirit : They therefore much mistake that seeme to say , How euery one that writes a paltry play : A sottish Sonnet in the praise of loue , A song or iegge , that fooles to laughter mooue , In praise or dispraise , in defame or fame , Deserues the honour of a Poets name : I further say , and further will maintaine That he that hath true Po'sie in his braine , Will not profane so high and heau'nly skill , To glory , or be prow'd of writing ill : But if his Muse do stoope to such deiection , T is but to shew the world her sinnes infection : A Poets ire sometimes may be inflam'd : To make foule Vices brazen face asham'd . And then his Epigrames and Satirs whip Will make basegald vnruly Iades to skip : In frost they say t is good , bad blood be nipt , And I haue seene Abuses whipt and stript , In such rare fashion , that the wincing age , Hath kick'd and flung , with vncontrouled rage . Oh worthy Withers I shall loue thee euer , And often maist thou doe thy best indeuer , That still thy workes and thee may liue togither Contending with thy name , and neuer wither . But further to proceed in my pretence Of Natr'all English Poetries defence : For Lawreat Sidney , and our gracious Iames , Haue plunged bin in Arts admired streames : And all the learned Poets of our daies , Haue Arts great ayde to winne still liuing bayes . All whom I do confesse such worthy men , That I vnworthy am with inke and pen To carie after them . But since my haps Haue bin so happy as to get some scaps : By Nature giu'n me from the Muses table , I le put them to the best vse I am able : I haue read Tasso , Virgill , Homer , Ouid , Iosephus , Plutark , whence I haue aproued , And found such obseruations as are fit , With plenitude to fraught a barren wit. And let a man of any nation be , These Authors reading , makes his iudgement see Some rules that may his ignorance refine , And such predominance it hath with mine . No bladder blowne ambition puff's my Muse , An English Poets writings to excuse : Nor that I any rule of art condem , Which is Dame Natures ornamentall Iem : But these poore lines I wrote ( my wits best pelfe ) Defending that which can defend it selfe . Know then vnnat'ral English Mungril Monster , Thy wandring iudgement doth too much misconster : When thou affirm'st thy Natiue Contry-man , To make true verse no art or knowledge can : Cease , cease to do this glorious kingdome wrong , To make her speech inferiour to each tongue : Show not thy selfe more bruitish then a beast , Base is that bird that files her homeborne neast : In what strange tongue did Virgils Muse commerce ? What language wast that Ouid wrote his verse ? Thou sayst t' was Latin , why I say so too , In no tongue else they any thing could doo : They Nat'rally did learne it from their mother , And must speake Lattin , that could speake no other : The Grecian blinded Bard did much compile , And neuer vsde no foreigne far-fetcht stile : But as he was a Greeke , his verse was Greeke , In other tongues ( alas ) he was to seeke , Du Bartas heauenly all admired Muse , No vnknowne Language euer vs'de to vse : But as he was a Frenchman , so his lines In natitue French with fame most glorious shines . And in the English tongue t is fitly stated , By siluer-tongued Siluester translated . So well , so wisely , and so rarely done , That he by it immortall fame hath wonne . Then as Great Maro , and renowned Naso , Braue Homer , Petrarke , sweete Italian Tasso : And numbers more , past numbring to be numberd , Whose rare inuentions neuer were incumberd , With our outlandish chip chop gibrish gabling , To fill mens eares with vnacquainted babling : Why may not then an Englishman . I pray , In his owne language write as erst did they , Yet must we suit our phrases to their shapes , And in their imitations be their Apes . Whilst Muses haunt the fruitfull forked hill , The world shall reuerence their vnmatched skill . And for inuention , fiction , method , measure , From them must Poets seeke to seeke that treasure . But yet I thinke a man may vse that tongue His Country vses , and doe them no wrong . Then I whose Artlesse studies are but weake , Who neuer could , nor will but English speake , Do heere maintaine , if words be rightly plac'd , A Poets skill , with no tongue more is grac'd . It runnes so smooth , so sweetly it doth flow , From it such heauenly harmony doth grow , That it the vnderstanders senses moues With admiration , to expresse their loues . No Musicke vnder heauen is more diuine , Then is a well-writte , and a well-read line . But when a witlesse selfe conceited Rooke , A good inuention dares to ouerlooke : How pitteous then mans best of wit is martyr'd , In barbrous manner totter'd torne and quarter'd . So mingle mangled , and so hack't and hewd , So seuraily be scuruide and bemewde . Then this detracting dutty dunghill drudge , Although he vnderstand not , yet will iudge . Thus famous Poesie must abide the doome Of euery muddy minded raskall Groome . Thus rarest Artists are continuall stung By euery prating , stinking lumpe of dung . For what cause then should I so much repine , When best of writers that ere wrote a line Are subiect to the censure of the worst , Who will their follies vent , or else they burst . I haue at idle times some Pamphlets writ , ( The fruitlesse issue of a nat'rall witte ) And cause I am no Scholler , some enuy me , With foule and false calumnious words belie me : With brazen fronts , and flinty hard beleefe Affirming or suspecting me a theefe : And that my sterrile Muse so drie is milch'd , That what I write , is borrow'd , beg'd , or filch , d. Because my name is Tailor , they suppose My best inuentions all from stealing growes : As though there were no difference to be made Betwixt the name of Tailor , and the Trade . Of all strange weapons , I haue least of skill To mannage or to wield a Tailors bill . I cannot Item it for silke and facing , For cutting , edging , stiffning , and for lacing : For bumbast , stitching , binding , and for buckram , For cotton , baies , for canuas and for lockram . All these I know , but know not how to vse them , Let trading Taylors therefore still abuse them . My skil's as good to write , to sweat , or row , As any Tailors is to steale or sowe . In ende , my pulsiue braine no Art affoords , To mint , or stampe , or forge new coined words . But all my tongue can speake , or pen can write Was spoke and writ before I could endite . Yet let me be of my best hopes bereft , If what I euer writ I got by thest : Or by base symony , or bribes , or guifts Or begd , or borrowd it by sharking shifts . I know I neuer any thing haue done , But what may from a weake inuention runne . Giue me the man whose wit will vndertake A substance of a shadow for to make : Of nothing something , ( with Arts great aide ) With Nature onely all his Muse arraide . That solid matter from his braine can squees , Whilst some Iame Artists wits are drawne to 'th leeze . By teaching Parrots prate and prattle can , And taught an Ape will imitate a man : And Banks his horse shew'd tricks , taught with much labor So did the hare that plaid vpon the tabor . Shall man , I pray , so witlesse be besotted ? Shall men ( like beasts ) no wisdome be allotted , ( Without great studie ) with instinct of Nature , Why then were man the worst and basest creature ? But men are made the other creatures Kings , Because superiour wisdome from them springs . And therefore Momus vnto thee againe That dost suspect the issue of my braine Are but my bastards , now my Muse doth flie , And in thy throat giues thy suspect the lie . And to the triall dares thee when thou dar'st Accounting thee a coward if thou spar'st . I haue a little wit , and braine , and spleane , And gall , and memory , and mirth and teene , And passions , and affections of the minde , As other Mortals vse to be enclinde . And hauing all this , wherefore should men doubt My wit should be so Cripled with the Gout , That it must haue assistance to compile , Like a lame dogge , that 's limping ore a stile . No , no , thou Zoylus , thou detracting else , Though thou art insufficient in thy selfe : And hast thy wit and studies in reuersion , Cast not on me that scandalous aspersion . I hate such belladmongring riming slaues , Such iygging rascals , such audacious knaues . The bane of learning , the abuse of Arts , The scumme of Naturs worst defectiue parts : The scorne of schollers , poison of rewards , Regardlesse vassalles of true worths regard , The shame of time the canker of desarts , The dearth of liberall and heroicke harts . That like so many bandogs snatle and snatch , And all 's their owne they can from others ca●th . That licke the scraps of Schollers wits ( like dogges ) ( A Prouerb old ) draffs good enough for hogges . Purloining , line by line , and peece by peece , And from each place they read , will filch a fleece . Me thinks my Muse should peecemeale teare these roages More base and vile then tatter'd Irish broages . Clawkissing raskals , flattering Parasites , Sworne vices vassalles , vertues opposites . T is you dambde curres haue murderd liberall minds , And made best Poets worse esteem'd then hindes . But wherefore doe I take a Schollers part , That haue no grounds or Axioms of Art : That am in Poesie an artlesse creature , That haue no learning but the booke of Nature : No Academicall Poetike straines , But homespunne medley of my mottley braines . The reason I a Schollers wants bewaile , And why against base litter'd whelps I raile , Is this , that they long time should time bestow In painefull study , secret Arts to know , And after liue in want , contempt and scorne , By euery dunghill peasant ouerborne . Abus'd , rejected , doggedly disgrac'd , Despised ragged , lowsie , and out fac'd : Whilest Bagpipe-poets stuf with others winde , Are grac'd for wit , they haue from them purloinde . Now in mine owne defence once more I le say , Their too rash iudgements to much runnes astray , That , cause my name is Tailor I doe theeue it , I hope their wisdomes will no more beleeue it . Nor let my want of learning be the cause , I should be bitten with blacke enuies iawes : For whosoere by nature is not a Poet By rules of Art he neuer well can show it . Ther'i 's many a wealthy heire long time at Schoole , Doth spend much study , and comes home a foole . A Poet needes must be a Poet borne , Or else his Art procures his greater scorne . For why ? if Art alone made men excell , Me thinkes Tom Coriat should write exlent well : But he was borne be like in some crosse yeere , When learning was good cheape , but wit was deare . Then to conclude , as I before began , Though nought by Schollership or Art I can Yet ( if my stocke by nature were more bare ) I scorne to vtter stolne or borrowed ware : And therefore Reader now I tell thee plaine , If thou incredilous dost still remaine . If yea or nay these reasons doe perswade thee , I leaue thee and thy faith to him that made thee . To the Kings most excellent Maiestie . Anagramma . Iames Stuart MUSES TARY AY . GReat Soueraigne as thy sacred Royall breast Is by the Muses whole and sole possest : So doe I know , Rich , precious , peerelesse Iem , In witting vnto thee , I write to them . The Muses tarry at thy name , why so ? Because they haue no further for to goe . To the high and mighty Prince , Charles Stuart . Anagramma Cals true hearts . BRaue Prince , thy Name , thy fame , thy selfe and all , With loue and seruice , all true hearts doth call : So Roially indude with Princely parts , Thy Reall vertues alwaies , cals true heart , To Anna Queene of Great Britaine . THese backward , and these forward lines I send To your right Royall , high Maiesticke hand : And like the guilty prisoner I attend Your censure , wherein blisse or bale doth stand . If I condemned be , I cannot grudge , For neuer Poet had a iuster Iudge . These lines are to be read , the same backeward as they are forward . Deer Maddam Reed Deem if I meed . Loues laborinth , with the description of the seuen Plannets . I Trauel'd through a wildernesse of late , A shadie , darke vnhaunted desart groue : Whereas a wretch explain'd his piteous state , Whose mones the Tygers vnto Ruthe would moue : Yet though he was a man cast downe by Fate : Full manly with his miseries he stroue , And dar'd false Fortune , to her vtmost worst , And er'e he meant to bend , would brauely burst . Yet swelling griefe , so much or'e charg'd his heart , In scalding sighs , he needs must vent his woe , Where groanes , and teares , and sighs all beare a part : As partners in their masters ouerthroe : Yet spight of griefe , he laught to scorne his smart , And midst his deapth of care , demean'd him so , As if sweet concord , bore the greatest sway , And snarling discord was inforc'd t' obay . Thou Saint ( quoth he ) I whilome did adore , Thinke not thy youthfull feature still can last , In winters age , thou shalt in vaine deplore That thou on me such coy disdaine didst cast : Then , then remember old said sawes of yore : Time was , Time is , but then thy Time is past . And in the end , thy bitter torments be , Because that causelesse , thou torment●●●●● me . Oh you immortall , high Imperious powres , Haue you in your resistlesse ●●●●●es decreed To blast with spight and scorne my pleasant hou'res : To starue my hopes , and my dispaire to feed , Once more let me attaine those sunshine showers : Whereby my withered ioyes , againe may breed . If Gods no comfort to my cares apply , My comfort is , I know the way to die . With wits destracted here I make my will , I do bequeath to Saturne , all my sadnesse , When Mellancholy first my heart did fill My sences turne from sobernesse to madnesse : Since Saturne , thou wast Author of my ill , To giue me griefe , and take away my gladnesse . Malignant Plannet , what thou gau'st to me I giue againe , as good a guift to thee . I doe surrender back to thundring Ioue , All state , which earst my glory did adorne : My frothy pompe , and my ambitious loue : To thee false Iupiter I backe returne , All Iouiall thoghts that first my heart did mooue , In thy Maiestick braine was bred and borne : Which by thy inspiration , caus'd my wrack , And therefore vnto thee , I giue it backe . To Mars I giue my rough robustious rage , My anger , fury , and my scarlet wrath : Man-slaughtring murder is thy onely page , Which to thy bloudy guidance I bequeath . Thy seruants all , from death should haue their wage , For they are executioners for death , Great Mars , all furie , wrath , and rage of mine I freely offer to thy Goarye shrine . All seeing Sol , thy bright reflecting eye Did first with Poets Art inspire my braines : T is thou that me so much didst dignifie , To rap my soule with sweet Poetike straines , And vnto thee againe before I die I giue againe , a Poets gainelesse gaines . Though wit and art are blessings most diuine Yet here , their iemmes , amongst a heard of swine . To thee false goddesse , loues adultrous Queene My most inconstant thoughts I do surrender : For thou alone , alone hast euer beene True louers bane , yet seemest loues defender , And were thy bastard blind , as fooles do weene : So right he had not split my heart so tender . Fond Vulcans bride , thou turnest my ioy to paine Which vnto thee I render backe againe . To Mercury , I giue my sharking shifts , My two fold false equiuocating tricks : All cunning sleights , and close deceiuing drifts : Which to decitfull wrong my humour pricks : All my Buzeaka's , my Decoyes , and lifts : No birdlime henceforth to my fingers sticks . My thoughts , my words , my actions , that are bad To thee I giue , for them from thee I had . And last , and low'st of all these Plannets seuen My wau'ring thoughts , I giue to Luna ' es guiding : My sencelesse braines , of wit and sence bereauen My stedfast change , and my most certaine sliding . All various alterations vnder heauen All that is mine , ore mouing , or abyding , My woes , my ioyes , my mourning , and my mirth I giue to thee , from whence they had their birth . Thus he against the higher powers contends And threats , and bans , and beats his care crazd breast , The birds harmonious musicke to him lends Which addes no rest , vnto his restlesse rest : Yea eu'ry thing in louing sort attends : All senceable , and sencelesse doe their best . With helplesse helpes do helpe to mone his mone And her he loues , Remaines vnkind alone . At last he rose from out the place he lay , And frantikely ran woodlie through the wood : The scratching brambles , in his wailes waie Intreats him stay , but in a harebraind mood He fled , till weary he at last did stay , To rest him , where a ragged rock there stood , With resolution to despaire and die Whilst Eccho to his mones , did thus replie . Eccho . May humane mischiefes be compar'd with mine ? mine . Thine babling Eccho , would thy tongue told true : rue . I rue that I alone must weepe and pine pine . I pine for her , from whom my cares ensue . sue . I sue , I serue a marble hearted faire ayre . And ayre is all the fruit of fruitlesse loue : loue . Lou's hope is past , then welcome black despaire despaire . Shall there despaire my causelesse curse remoue moue . Oh whither shall I moue , to ioy or paine paine . Must paine be my reward for paine for aye aye . Aye must my torment feed her scornfull veine vaine . To ease my griefe , will she say yea or nay , nay . Nay , then from loue and all his lawes I flie flie . I flie , I search , I seeke the way to die . die . Thus brabling gainst all things he heares or sees Impatient as his froward fortunes wrongs . No sensu'all obiect with his sence agrees . All pleasures his displeasure more prolongs : At length he carues vpon the thick bark'd trees These vnder written sad lamenting songs . And as my weake inuention vnderstood His farewell thus , was grau'd vpon the wood . Sonnet . LIke a decrepit wretch , deform'd and lame My verse approaches to my dearest Dame Whose dire disdaine , makes my laments her game , Whose scornfull eies addes fuell to my flame . But whether shee , or I , are most too blame I for attempting to exalt her fame With fruitlesse Sonnets ; which my wit did frame : Or shee whose peircing lookes my heart ore ' came . Her feature can both men and monsters tame The gods , and fiends , adore and dread her name , Whose matchlesse forme doth Citherea shame , Whose cruell heart remaineth still the same . And in a word , I striue against the streame My state ' is to low , and hers is too supreame . Then since so scornefull is her high disdaine . Since all my loue is but bestow'd in vaine , Curbe fancie then , with true discretions Reine , Let reason cure my tor-tormenting paine . Suppose I should at last , my suit attaine , And then sit downe and count my losing gaine : My haruest would be tares in shee l of graine . Then I le no longer vexe my vexed braine To seeke her loue , who ioyes when I complaine : No longer I , loues vassell will remaine , I le be no more of Cupids witlesse traine , Whose partiall blindnesse hath so many slaine . Proud Dame , whose breast my loue didst earst refraine Despight loues lawes I le be no more thy swaine . Thus like a man , whose answere 〈◊〉 ●erest him , I found him mad with loue , and so I left him . Plutoes Proclamation concerning his Infernall pleasure for the Propagation of Tobacco TRue Newes and strange my Muse intends to write , From horrid concaues of eternall night : Whereas a damned Parliment of Deuils , Enacted lawes to fill the world with euils . Blacke Pluto sundry proclamations sends Through Barathrum , and summons all the fiends , To know how they on earth had spent their times , And how they had beclog'd the world with crimes . First spake an ancient Deuill ycleaped Pride , Who said he wandred had , both farre and wide , Dispersing his Ambitious poisnous bane , As farre as Luna doth both waxe or wane . Next summond was , a rakehell furgound curre , Cal'd Auarice , ( whose rotten haulking murre ) Was like to choake him ere he could declare How he had soules possest with monies care . That so they fill their Coffers to the brim , All 's one , let sweet saluation sinke or swimme . The third that to the Parlament came in Was murder , all inroab'de in scarlet sinne , Who told great Limboes monarch he had done Such deeds , as thousand soules to hell hath wonne . The fourth that entred to this damned Iurie , Was sweet sinne Leachery , a smugfac'd furie : Said that the world should his great paines approue , Where vniuersall lust is counted loue . The fift was an ilshap'd decrepit Crone Cald Enuy , all consum'd to skinne and bone : And shee declar'd what labour he had spent To Honours , and to Vertues detriment . Then sixt , did Burst-gut Gluttony appeere , Whose sole delight is all in belly cheere : Who told how he mens greedy mindes did serue To cram their bodies , whilst their soules did sterue . The seuenth was Sloth , an vgly lothsome wretch , Who being cald , did gape , and yawne , and stretch : I haue ( quoth he ) done as your highnesse wil'd , I all the world with Idlenesse haue fil'd , In lazie Creatures members I doe lurke , That thousands will be hang'd , before the 'ile worke . Then Pluto said , these ills , you haue done well , In propagation of our kingdome , Hell : But yet ther 's one thing which I will effect , Which too long hath been buried with neglect ; And this it is , in Rich America , In India , and blacke Barbaria . Whereas the peoples superstion show Thei 're mine , because no other God they know , In those misguided lands I caus'de to breed A foule contagious , stinking Manbane weed : Which they ( poore fooles ) with diligence doe gather To sacrifice to me that am their Father : Where euery one a Furies shape assumes , Befog'd and clouded with my hel-hatch'd fumes . But these blacke Nations that adore my name , I le leaue in pleasure : and my mischiefes frame Gainst those who by the name of Christians goe , Whose Author was my finall ouerthrowe . And therefore straight diuulge our great commands , That presently throughout all Christian lands , Tobacco be disperst , that they may be As Moores and Pagans are , all like to me . That from the Palace to the paltry nooke , Like hell in Imitation all may looke . In vice let Christians , passe both Iewes and Turks , And let them outpasse Christians in good works . Let euery Cobbler with his durty fist , Take pride to be a blacke Tobaconist : Let Idiot Coxcombes , sweate t is ex'lent geare , And with a whiffe their reputations reare . Let euery Idle adle-pated gull With stinking sweet Tobacco stuffe his skull . Let Don fantasticke smoake his vastie gorge . Let rich and poore , let honest men and knaues , Be smoak'd and stunke vnto their timelesse graues . Thus is our last irreuocable will , Which though it dam not man , I know t will kill . And therefore straite , to euery Christian Nation Diuulge , and publish , this our Proclamation . A Proclamation or approbation , from the King of execration , to euery Nation , for Tobacoes propagation . WHereas wee haue been credibly Informed ( by our true and neuer failing Intelligencers , as the soules of Vsurers , Broakers , Knights of the Post , Panders , Baudes , & such like , our welbeloued sons and daughters , by gracelesse adoption ) that the Hearbe , ( alias weede ) ycleaped Tobaco , ( alias ) Trinidado , alias , Petun , alias , Necocianū , ( a long time hath beene in continuall vse and motion , amongst the Sunburnt , tanskind Indians , Barbarians and the rest of our black guard inhabiting in America ; which hath beene greatly to our contentment to see our execrable seruants on the earth , to come so neere our infernall Tartarian sulphorous contagious stinke , with their terestriall imitations : wee therefore with the full consent of our three Estates , namely our Lords spiritual of our owne synagogue , as twelue Turkish Muftyes 66. Popes & sundry other Cardinals &c. Prelates our foure trustie friends . Besides our Temporall Lords , as Heliogabalus , Nero , Sardanapalus , with many more , and our Comminalty or vassals , whereof the chiefe , wee hold to be Guido Faux , Francis Rauillae , and all such as were Naturalized into the line of Iudas or Achitophell . Wee with these estates afore said doe ( by the Authority of this present Parliament ) straightly charge and command that all deuils , demydeuills , feinds , furies , hagges , witches , ghosts , goblins , spirits , elues , fayries , or any other subiect or subiects , to our infernall monarchy , by what name or title soeuer they bee called , that they and euery of them doe forthwith vpon the sight hereof , dispearse themselues amongst the Christians ( the vtter enemies of our mightie Monarchy ) and there by inspirations of witchcrafts , spels , exorcismes , coniurations , incantations , or any other of our Magicall deuises , doe their best endeauors to possesse them with the loue of Tobaco , make old men doate ouer it , and yong men admire it , make the rich smoake away their wealth in it , make the laborer in one houre in the Eauening puffe away his whole daies worke , let the decaied banquerupt bee alwaies my trustie factor to divulge it , be they neuer so base let them bee acounted Noble that vse it , and be they neuer so noble , let them be thought base that refuse it : let Play-houses , Drinking-schooles , Tauerns , Alehouses , Bawdy-houses , be continuallie haunted with the contaminous vapours of it , nay ( if it be possible ) bring it into their Churches , and there choake vp their Preachers , ( my only and my hatefull enemies . ) And whereas the Indians , and other farre remored barbarous Nations were the first that vsed it , wee do streightly further charge and command , that you and euery of you , doe disswade them from the excessiue vse of it , and let those Nations that are our continuall opposites in manners and Religion be fullie possest with an immoderate desire of it like Horsleeches , the more they drinke the more let them thirst , let it bee a trade to practise the whiffe , the snuffe , the gulpe , the euaporating or retention . Doe this withall expedition as you expect the fruition , of our fatherly execrable Malleuolent mallediction . Giuen at our Palace at Gehenna &c. THis Proclamation was no sooner doon , But thousand furies to and fro did runne , T' acomplish what their Master Pluto spoke And fully fill the world with stinke and smoake : And now the man that 's o'ne of feeling rest , By reason of his age whose teeth hath left The vasty Cauerne of his mumping cud , Must haue Tobaco to reuiue his blood : The glistring Gallant , or the gallant Gull. The ieering pander , and the hackney Trull . The Roysting Rascall , and the swearing Slaue , The Hostler , Tapster , all in generall craue To be a foggy , misty , smoaky iury Vpon this vpstart newfound Indian fury . Great Captaine Gracelesse , stormes , protests , and sweares , Hee le haue the rascall Poet by the eares , And beat him , as a man would beate a dogge , That dares once speake against this precious fogge . It is the iewel that he most respects It is the gemme of ioy his heart affects : It is the thing his soule doth most adore , To liue and loue Tobaco , and a whore : Hee 'le cram his braines with fumes of Indian grasse , And grow as fat with 't as an English Asse . Some say Tobaco will mens dayes prolong , To whom I answer , they are in the wrong . And sure my conscience giues me not the lie I thinke t will make men rotten ere they die . Old Adam liu'd nine hundred thirty yeere , Yet nere dranke none , as I could read or heare : And some men now liues ninety yeeres and past , Who neuer dranke Tobaco , first nor last . Then since at first it came , from faithlesse Moores ( And since t is now more common far then whores ) I see no reason any Christian Nation Should follow them , in deuilish imitation : So farewell pipe , and pudding , snuffe and smoake My Muse thinks fit to leaue , before she choake : Certaine verses written in the Barbarian tongue , dropt out of a Negroes pocket , which I thought good to insert , because they tend to the honour of Tobaco . VAprosh fogh stinkquash flauorumques fie fominoshte Spitterspawlimon , loathersō hem halkish spewriboshte Mistrum fog smoakrash , choakerumques olifa trish trash Dam durticum belchum , contagioshte vomitroshe : Whifferum , puffe gulpum , allisnuff huff fleaminon odish , Rewmito contaminosh diabollish dungish odorish : To the Right Hon : Lord. WILLIAM Earle of Pembrooke . WILLIAM HERBET Annagrama . my Heart will beare . RIght Noble Lord , whose breast doth beare a heart Which is a Patron vnto Armes and Art : In spight of Enuy , still thy fame shines cleere For none but honour'd thoughts thy heart will beare . Satyre . WHen I but think , the daies we wander in , How most part of the world do liue by sinne : How finely Sathan shewed his cunning skill , That one man gets his goods , from others ill . Doth not the Lawiers liue like mighty Lords , On braules , on iarres , contentions and discords , When if men ( as they should ) would but agree , A Tearme would scarcely yeeld a Lawyers fee ? Let vsurers bragge of conscience what they can , They liue like deuils , vpon the bane of man : The racking land-lord gets his ill got store , By rayling rents , which make his tennants poore : Clap shoulder serieants get the deuill and all By begg'ring and by bringing men in thrall . Like gentlemen , the Iaylors spend their liues By keeping men in fetters , bonds and gyues : The vintner and the vict'lar get most gaines From dayly drunkards , and distemperd braines : From whence do Iustice Clerks get most they haue , But from the whore , the theife , the bawd , the knaue ? In what consists the hangmans greatest hope But hope of great imployment for the rope ? The very blew-coate beadles get their trash , By whips and rods , and the fine firking lash . But leauing these , note but how Corporations From others vices , get their reputations : The vpstart veluet silken fatten gull , His owne purse empts to fill the Mercers full : When for his birth , or wit more fit agrees , A breech of leather , and a coate of freese . The Taylor is a gentleman transform'd For his inuenting fashions new deform'd , And those that make the Verdingales and bodies , Get most the haue from idle witlesse nodies . The Tires , the Periwigs , and the Rebatoes , Are made t' adorne Ilshap'd Inamoratoes . Yea all the world is falne to such a madnesse , That each man gets his goods from others badnesse . The Chirurgian and Phisitian get their stockes , From Goutes , from Feauers , Botches , Piles , and Pockes : With others paine , they most of all are pleas'd , And best are eas'd : when others are diseas'd . As Sextons liue by deade , and not by quicke , So they liue with the sound , but by the sicke . Thus each man liues by other mens amisse , And one mans meat , anothers poison is . To the Right honourable Iohn , Lord Viscount Haddington , Iohn Ramsey Anagramma I AYM HONERS . THrice worthy Lord , whose vertues doe proclaime , How Honors noble marke is still thy Aym , To attaine the which thou holdst thy hand so steedy . That thy deesrts haue wonne the prize already . To the Honourable Kinght , Sir Dauid Moraye . Anagramma You are admir'd . WIth wisdome and with vertue so inspir'd , That spite of Enuies teeth , you are Admir'd . To King IAMES . Anagramma Iames Stuart Arm att Iesus . Vpon the Powder Treason the fifth of Nouember . THis day old Demon , and the damned Crew , Our King and Kingdome in the ayre had tost : But that our God their diuellish practise crost , And on their treacherous heads the mischiefe threw . No Pagan , Tartar , Turke or faithlesse Iew , Or hels blacke Monarch with his hatefull host : Since first amongst them Treason was ingrost , No plot like that from their inuention flew . But when they thought powderblast , a breath Should all this Iland into totters teare : Th' Almighties mercy freed vs from that feare , And paid the Traitors with infamous death . For which , let King , and all true Subiects sing Continuall praise vnto Heau'ns gracious King. To the Noble Gentleman Mr. Iohn Moraye Gentleman of his Maiesties Honourable Bedchamber . Anagramma I ayme Honour . INdustrious Loialty doth daily tell Thou Aymest at honor , and thou leuel'st well , And with thy trustie seruice shoot'st so right , That in the ende thou sure wilt hit the white . Twelue Sonnets vpon the Sunnes entring into the 12. Celestiall Signes . The 10. of March , the Sunne enters into Aries , or the signe of the Ram March 10. Aries . DIurnall Titans all reuiuing Carre , Through all the heaucus his progresse now he takes : And now his glistering Raies he doth vnbarre , And what his absence mard , his presence makes : Now he beginnes dame Tellus face to parch , With blustring Boreas and with Eurus breath , Thicke clouds of dust in March , through ayre doth march And Plants dead seeming Re-reuiues from death . Now at the heauy-headed horned Ram , AEous , AEthon , Phlegon , and Pyrois , On sweet Ambrosya sweetly feede and cram , And drinking Nectars gods carowsing iuice , Thus yeerely , one and thirty daies at least , In Aries , Titan daines to be a guest . To the Noble Gentleman and my approued good friend Sr. Iames Moray Knight . Iames Muraye Anagramma I am Aye Sure. THe worst of fortune thou canst well endure , Thy Anagram includes , thu Aye art sure . The 11. of Aprill he comes into Taurus , or the Signe of the Bull. Taurus . HIperion Now 's remou'd vnto the Bull , And seemes all hid in Mists and watry bowres : Till woolsacke seeming cloudes are bursting full , And then he glides the Aire with golden showres . He shines , he hides , he smiles and then he lowers , Now glorious glowing , and straight darkned dim : He 's now obscur'd and now his beames out-powres , As skies are cleare , or thicketwixt vs and him . Thus all the Aprill , at bopecpe he plaies , Incircling daily the Rotundious spheare . And at the Bull he hides his glistring raies , Till ayre is purgde of clowdes , and skies are cleare . Then he the head-strong Taurus soone forsakes , And to his Summer progresse haste he makes . To the Right worshipfull the Recorder of London , and Serieant to the Kings Majesties : Sir HENRY MONTAGVE Anagramma Gouerneth Many . AMongst a Million there is hardly Any , That like your selfe so well doth gouerne Many . The 12. of May the Sunne enters into Gemini , or the Twinnes . Gemini , May. NOw bright fac'd Sminthus , with faire Flora meetes , Adorning her with Natures best attire : Trees , plants , hearbes , flowres , and odoriferous sweets , With Birds all chaunting in their fethered quire . Now countrie Tom and Tyb haue their desire , And rowle and tumble freely on the grasse , The Milke-maide gets a greene gowne for her hire , And all in sport the time away doe passe . The bird , the beast , the lusty Iad , the lasse Doe sing , doe friske , doe clip , doe coll , doe kisse : Not thinking how the time must be , or was , But making pleasant vfe of time as t is . Till Sminthus leaues his lodging at the twinnes , And to a hotter race his course beginnes . To my approued good friend Mr. Robert Branthwayte . Anagramma . You Bere a heart true bent . LEt fortune smile or frowne you are content , At all Assaies you beare a heart true bent . The 12. of Iune the Sunne enters into Cancer or the Crabbe . Cancer . Iune . OF Fall the Innes where Sol doth vse to lie , With crabbed Cancer none may make compare : It is the highest in the lofty skie , All other signes to it Inferiour are . When Sol is once ascended and come there , He scaldes and scorches with his heau'nly heate : Makes fields of grasse , and flowry medowes bare , And though the Idleworke not yet they sweate . Thus like an all-commanding Lord he swaies , High mounted in his chiefe solstician pride : For when in Cancer he immures his raies , Vnto the height his glories amplifide . And when he goes from thence , he doth beginne By shorter Iournies to attaine his Inne . To my especiall friend Master SAMVELL CALVERTA . Anagramma . Vertue Calmes All. THe flesh , the world , the deuill , and all entice , Yet still thy honest vertue calmes all vice . The thirteenth of Iuly the sunne enters into Leo , or the Lion. Leo , Iuly . THe worlds eye daz'ler in his fiery race , Doth at the Lion lodge his vntam'd steeds : And now the ripening yeere begins apace To show Dame Tellus , procreatiue seeds . For as from man , mans generation breeds , So by manuring of our Grandam Earth , Are brought forth fruits , and flowers , and hearbs , & weeds To shield ingratefull man from pining dearth . The dogged dogge daies now with heate doth swealt , And now 's the season , of th'vnseasn'd ayre : When burning feauers make the patient melt , Whose heate the Doctors hardly can repaire : For why these currish daies are fatall still , And where they chance to byte , they vse to kill . To the Right worshipfull Sir Iohn Swinarton , late Lord Maior of London . IOHN SVVIN'ARTONE . Anagramma . Waites in honnour . THe man that Nobly serues , with wisdomes skill And good direction , waites in honour still . The foureteenth of August the sunne enters into Virgo . Or the Virgin. Virgo . August . VNhappy Phaetons , splendidious Sire Left amorous bussing beauteous Glim●ns lippes , And all inspir'd with Loues celestiall fires His Globe surrounding steeds a maine he whips : And to the Virgin Virgo downe doth glide , Where for she entertain'd him to his pleasure . He his Exchequer coffers opens wide , And fills the world with haruests wisht for treasure : Now country hindes vnto their tooles betake The forke , the rake , the sithe , the hooke , the cart , And all a generall expedition make , Till Nature be left naked by their art . At last the Virgin when these things are done , Till that time twelue mouth leaues her loue the sunne . To the worthy Gentleman Master SAMVEL DANIEL . Anagramma . Iesu Amend all . HOw euer my poore lines are vnderstood Yet I am sure thy Anagram is good . The thirteenth of September the sunne enters into Libra , Or the Ballance . Libra . September . THe Great all-seeing burning eye of day , In Libraes Ballance restlesse comes to rest , Where equally his way hee seemes to way : And day , and night with equall houres are drest : By these iust soales , true iustice is exprest , Which doth to times and places render right Where wealth insults not , nor the poore opprest , But all 's eu'n poyzed , like the day and night . And now this lampe of light doth here alight Making this Signe , his Equinoctiall Inne , Whilst fruitfull trees are ouer-laden quite : ( Too great a gracious guerdon for mans sinne ) And as in March he gan to doe vs grace , So to th' Antipodes he now gins shew her face . To the diuine Poet and my worthy friend Mr. IOSHVAH SYLLVESTER . Anagramma . Thuss he serus loyaly . THUs he serues loialy , in place of trust , And therefore well deserues a master iust . The foureteenth of October the sunne enters into Scorpio . Scorpio . October . ILlustrious Phaebus now declines amaine , His golden head within the Scorpion dwels , Now boystrous blasts of winde , and showres of raine Of raging winters nigh approch foretells From trees sharpe Autumne , all the leaes expells For Phaebus now hath left his pleasant Innes , Now Marchants Bacchus blood , both buye and sells And Michalls Tearme , lawes haruest now beginnes Where many losers are , and few that winnes : For law may well be cal'd contentions whip , When for a scratch , a cuffe , for points or pins : Will witlesse gets his neighbour on the hippe . Then tone the tother vnto law will vrge , And vp they come to giue their purse a purge . To the Noble Gentleman , and my much honoured friend , Robert Caluert Esquire , of Mount Caluert in Ireland . HAd I as many seu'rall mouthes as fame , I could not euer honour thy good Name : Did Maroe's Muse my weake inuention mooue , I should want Art t' expresse ingaged loue . Yet hope perswades me , as these lines you reed You 'le take my good endeauour for a deed : Although I know to write I am vnfit In Words , in Muse , in Methode , and in Wit. The eleuenth of Nouember , the sunne enters into Sagittarius , Or the Archer . Sagittarius ; Nouember . THus Luna's brother lower doth descend , And at the Archer rests his radient waine , Now winters bitter blasting storms contend T' assault our hemispheare , with might and maine . The fields and trees disrobed all againe , Stark naked strip'd of hearbs , of flowres , of fruits , And now the Lord , the Lowne , the Sir , the Swaine Against the freeze , of freeze make winter suites . Now chirping birds are all turn'd tonguelesse mutes , And Sheapheard swaines to sheephouse driues their sheep . Hot controuersies now are in disputes At Westminster , where such a coyle they keepe ; Where man , doth man within the law be tosse , Till some go crosselesse home by woodcocks crosse . To the honourable Gentleman Master William Ramsaye , one his of Maiesties Bed-chamber . WILLIAM RAMSAYE . Anagramma . I am allwayes mery . YOur Name doth with your Anagram agree , And Heau'ns confirme my wish acomplisht be , That you in Noble Actions ner'e be weary , But as your Name Includes be Alwayes mery . The eleuenth of December , the sunne enters into Capricorne , Or the Goate . Capricornus . December . APollo hath atain'd his lowest seate , And now the shortnesse of his race is such , That though his Glory for a time be great : He giues his sister Cynthia twice as much . Now is the welcomst time of all the yeere , Now die the oxen and the fatted hogs , Now mery Christmas fills the world with cheere , And chimnies smoake with burning logge , on logs . He that 's a mizer all the yeere beside Will reuell now , and for no cost will spare , A pox hang sorrow , let the world goe slide : Le ts eate and drinke , and cast away all care . Thus when Apollo's at the horned Goate , He makes all Christendom with mirth to floate . To the Noble Gentleman my especiall good friends Sir William Moray , Lord of Aberca●ny . WILLIAM MORAY . Anagramma . I Amm Royal Wil. LEt all the world to changing be enclinde , Yet you will allwaies beare A Royall minde . The tenth of Ianuary the sunne enters into Aquarius , Or the signe of the Waterbearer . Aquarius . Ianuary . THe Glorious Great Extinguisher of Night Immures his bright translucent golden head , And from his Radient seeme he doth alight . To rest his steeds in cold Aquarius bed . Now hory frost , hath Tellus sate or'espread , And chilling numnesse whets the shauing ayre , All vegitable creatures now seeme dead Like curelesse cures past and repast repaire : Frigidius Ianus two-fold frozen face Turnes moist Aquarius into congeal'd yce : Though by the fires warme side the pot haue place : Of winters wrath it needs must know the price . At last daies burning torch , againe takes horse , And into wetter weather makes his course . To the Noble Gentleman Master Robert Haye , one of the Gentlemen of his Maiesties honourable bed-chamber . RIght worthy Sir , if ought that I haue writ Were worth your reading , t were some signe of wit. I haue a few friends , and amongst the rest You being one , the best will iudge the best . The ninth of February , the sunne enters into Pisces , Or the signe of the two fishes . Pisces . February . NOw snow , and raine , and hayle , and slauering fleete , ( The Delphean God hath suckt from sea and land . With exhalations ) on the earth they greet : Powr'd downe by Iris liberall hand , If foule fac'd February keepe 〈◊〉 touch . He makes the toyling Plowmans prouerbe right ; By night , by day , by little and by much , It fils the ditch , with either blacke or white And as the hard co●●●●●ed butting Ram At setting forth was Tytans dayntiest dish : So to conclude his feasting with a messe of fish . And long in Pisces he doth not remaine , But leaues the fish , and fals to flesh againe . To the Honourable Sir Thomas Ridgewaye Knight Barronet , Treasurer at Warres in Ireland , &c. Thomas Ridgewaye . Anagramma . God Arms thy waie . Againe , Age is made worthy . THough sinne and Hell worke mortals to betraie , Yet gainst their mallice still , God Armes thy waie . when life and lands , and all away must fade , By Noble actions , Age is worthy made . Certaine Sonnets made in the forme of AEquiuoques : on the destruction of Troy. WHen Hellen was for Priams sonne a mate . From Greece bereaft , by Paris and his Band : Which caus'd the Greekes , the Trojan mindes amate , Some curs'd the boy ; and other some they band The strumpet Queene , which brought the burning brand , That Illion firde , and wrack'd old Priams Race : And on their Names long liuing shame did brand , ( For headstrong lust runnes an vnbounded Race . ) This beauteous peece , whose features radient blase , Made Menelaus horne-mad warre to wage : And set all Troy in a combustious blase , Whose ten yeeres triumphes scarse was worth their wage . For all their Conquests , and their battring Rams , Their leaders , most return'd , with heads like Rams . To the noble Gentleman Sir Oliuer Saint-Iohn . Anagramma Harts Ioyn in loue . THy loyall seruice to thy King , doth prooue , That to thy Countrey thy Hart Ioyns in loue . WIth raging madnesse and with fury fell , Great Diomed , and Aiax left their Tents , And in the throat of death , to blowes they fell , To make more worke for plaisters , and for tents . With blood imbruing all the Phrigian Clime , Whilest men like Autumne leaues drop dying downe : Where some through blood , and wounds to honor clime And some their mangled lims bestrowes the downe : Whilest Paris , with his Hellen in his Armes Imbraces her about the wastfull waste : Saw many a Gallant Knight in burnisht Armes , Who from their Tents made haste to make more waste : Who to their Tents did nere returne againe , Thus warres makes gaine a losse , and losse a gaine . To the noble Gentleman , Sir EDVVARD BLAINEYE Knight , Gouernor of Monnaahan in the North of Ireland . EDVVARD BLAYNEY Anagramma Liue and Abide euer . THy trustie seruice hath so oft beene tride , For which thy fame , liue euer and Abide . HAd Priams Queene in Cradle slaine her Sonne The lust full Paris ( haplesse boy ) I meane : Then Illions Towers might still haue brau'd the Sunne : His death to saue their liues had beene the meane . Vnlucky lucke , when , Iuno , Venus , Pallas Did craue his censure vpon Ida Mount : Whence sprung the cause that Troy and Priams Pallace Were burnt , which earst the skies did seeme to mount . Had he beene drownd , or strangled with a corde , He had not rob'd Oenon of her heart : Or had he di'de , ere Hellen did accord With him , to h●●d her husband like a Harte . But Troy it is thy fate , this knaue and Baggage , Confounds thy state , and fires thy bagge , and baggage . To the worthy Gentleman , Sir HENRY FOLIOT Gouernour of Balishannon in the North of Ireland . HENRYE FOLIOTT . Anagramma . Honor Fitt lie . THy Honor Fitlie to thy worth is fit , It Honors thee , and thou dost honor it . TRoyes fruitfull Queene did many Children bare , So braue , heroike , and so slout a Crew : Who all in noble actions did accrue , When age had made their Parents balde and bare , They made their daintlesse courage to appeare , Amidst the throngs of danger and debate : Where wars remorselesse stroake kil'd many a Peere , Whilest swords , not words , their counsels did debate : But bloud on bloud , their furie could not sate , For fierce Achilles did braue Hector gore : To guerdon which , the Graecian in his gore Did wallow , whilest the Troians laughing sate . Thus did Achilles bid the world adiewe For Hectors death , Reuenge did claime a due . To the Right worshipfull and worthy Gentleman , Sir Simon Weaston of Litchfield in the County of Stafford Knight . SIMON WESTON . Anagramma Mowntes Sion . MOwnts Sion figures that surmounting place , Where vertue 's Mownt vnto the throne of grace . TEn weary yeeres these bloody broyles did last , Vntill the Greeks had form'd a woodden steed : Which they on Priam would bestow at last , ( When force preuailes not , falshood stands in steed . ) False Simon ( who so well could forge a lie , Whose traitrous eies shead many a treach'rous teare ) Knew well that in the horses wombe did lie The wolues that Troy did all in peeces teare . Polyxena , Achilles deere bought deere Was hew'de in gobbets on her louers graue : King , Queene , and Troy , for Hellen paid too deere , All felt the Graecian Rage , both yong and graue . To Kings , and Commons , death's alike , all one , Except AEneas who escap'd alone . To the truely vertuous Ladie , MARIE WESTON wife to Sir Simon Weston Knight . MARIE WESTON . Anagramma . I Won Me a Rest. WHere true borne worth's Innated in the breast , There alwaies goodnesse winnes Eternall rest . Certaine Sonnets : variously composed vpon diuers subiects . Sonnet . 1. True Nobilitie . GReat is the glory of the Noble minde Where life and death , are equall in respect : If fates be good or bad , vnkinde or kinde , Not proud in freedome , nor in thrall deiect ; With courage scorning fortunes worst effect , And spitting in foule Enuies cankred face . True honor thus doth baser thoughts subiect Esteeming life a slaue , that serues disgrace . Foule abiect thoughts , become the minde that 's base , That deemes there is no better life then this , Or after death doth feare a worser place , Where guilt is paid the guerdon of Amisse . But let swolne enuy swell vntill shee burst , The Noble minde defies her to her worst . To the Noble Gentleman , Sir ROBERT RIDGEVVAY Knight , son and Heire to Sir Thomas Ridgeway Knight Barronet . ROBERT RIDGEVVAYE . Anagramma . I Regard , obey vertu . THough Thousands vainely passe their time away , Time I Regard , and Vertue I obey . LO thus the burden of Adultrous guilt , I showring vengeance , Troy and Troians saw : No Age , no sexe , no beauty , Gold or guilt Withstood , foretold Cassandraes saced saw . Shee often said , false Hellens beauties blast Should be the cause the mighty Graecian pow're , Their names , and fames , with infamy should blast , And how the Gods on them would vengeance pow're . But poore Cassandra , prophesied in vaine , She clam'rous cries , ( as t' were ) to sencelesse Rockes . The youths of Troy , in merry scornfull veine . Securely slept , whilst lust the cradle rockes . Till bloudy burning Indignation came , And all their mirth with mourning ouercame . To the worthy and vertuous Ladie , the Lady Elizabeth Ridgeway , wife to Sir Rob. Ridgewaye . ELIZABETH RIDGEVVAYE . Anagramma . I byde , Agree with Zeal . THe Subiects of th' Almighties Common-weale , They all in one Abide , Agree with zeale . Sonnet . 2. Enuy and Honour . COuld Enuy die , if Honour were deceast , She could not liue , for Honour's Enuies foode : Shee liues by sucking of the Noble blood , And scales the lofty top of Fames high Creast . Base thoughts compacted in the Abiect breast , The Meager Monster doth nor harme , nor good : But like the wane , or waxe , of ebbe or flood , Shee shunnes as what her gorge doth most detest ; Where heau'n bred honour in the Noble minde , From out the Cauerns of the breast proceeds : There helborne Enuie shewes her hellish kinde , And Vulturlike upon their actions feedes , But heere 's the ode , that Honours tree shall groe , When Enuies rotten stumpe shall burne in woe . To the noble Knight , Sir Francis Willoughby , sonne and heire to Sir Perciuall Willoughby , Knight of Wollerton in the County of Nottinghame . FRANCIS WILLOVGHBYE . Anagramma . Lou Wil Banishe Greif . SAd sorrow may assault men , like a thiefe , But spight of Enuy ( loue will Banish Greife . ) Sonnet . 3. Beauties luster . DEw drinking Phaebus hid his golden head , Balm-breathing Zepherus lay close immur'd : The silly Lambs and Kyds , lay all as dead Skies , earth and seas , all solace had abiur'd . Poore men , and beasts , to toylesome taskes inur'd In drooping manner spent the drowsie day : All but the Owle , whose safety night assur'd , She gladly cuts the ayre with whooting lay . When loe the blossom of my blooming May From out her Cooche maiestickly doth rise : Then Tytan doth his radient beames display . And clouds are vanisht from the vaulty skies . Sweete Zephirs gales reuiueth beasts and men , Madg Howlet scuds vnto her neast agen . To the Vertuous Lady , and wife to Sir Francis Willoughby Knight . CASSANDRAE WILLOVGHBYE . Anagramma . Wish Grace Aboue All ends . THe power of Heauen to me such fauour sends That I wish Grace Aboue all other ends . Sonnet . 4. Hope and Despaire . DOmestick broyles my tortur'd heart inuades Twixt wau'ring Hope , and desp'rate black Despaire : To prosecute my sute the one perswades , The other frustrates all my hopes with cares Hope sets me on , infer's shee 's fayrest faire , How deire disdaine doth dwell in fowlest Cels , And fell dispaire , calls beauty Enuies heire : Which torments me more then ten thousand hels . Loe thus my former hope , despaire expels Mid'st which extreames what 's best for me to doe : In open armes , despaire gainst me rebels , Hope traytor-like giues free consent thereto . And till these traytors twaine consume my city I restlesse rest , to rest vpon her pitty . To the Right worshipfull Master George Caluert Esquire , one of the Clarkes of his Maiesties priuy Connsell . GEORG CALVERT . Anagramma . Grace got rule . VVIt , Wisdome , Learning , Vertue , all agree That in thy breast their Mansiion house shall be . Sonnet . 5. Three blinde Commanders . BLinde fortune , sightlesse loue , and eyelesse death Like Great Triumue'rs swayes this earthly roome , Mans actions , affections , and very breath : Are in subiection to their fatall doome . Ther 's nothing past , or present , or to come That in their purblinde power is not comprizd , From crowne , to cart , from cradle to the toome All are by them defamde , or eternizde : Why should we then esteeme this doating life ( That 's in the guideance of such blind-fold rule ) Whose chiefest peace , is a continuall strife Whose gawdy pompes the pack , and man the Mule , Which liues long day , he beares , as he is able , Til deaths blacke night , doth make the graue his stable ? To the worthy Gentleman Captaine Arthur Basset in Ireland . ARTHVR BASSET . Anagramma . Be as tru harts . TRu vertue mixt with valour , Arms with Arts And all Innate in thee , be as tru harts . Sonnet . 6. Another of the praise of musicke . T Was Musick fetch'd Euridice from hell , And rap'd grim Pluto with harmonious straines : Renowned Orpheus did with Musick quell The fiends , and ease the tortur'd of their paines . The Dolphin did account it wondrous gaines To heare Arion play as he did ride : Gods , feinds , fish , fowles , and sheapherds on the plaines Melodious Musick still hath magnifide : And antient records plainely doe decide , How braue Orlando Palatine of France , When he was raging mad for Meadors bride Sweet Musicke cur'd his crazed wits mischance . For Musicks onely fit for Heau'ns high quire , Which though men cannot praise enough , admire . To the worshipfull Master Francis Ansleye of Dublinne in Ireland Esquire . FRANCIS ANSLEYE . Anagramma . Lifes Cares Vaynn . HE that to Life Eternall will Attaine Must euer here esteeme , this , Lifes Cares Vainn . Sonnet . 7. The Map of Misery . LIke to the stone that 's cast in deepest waue , That rests not till the bottom it hath sound , So I ( a wretch ) inthrald in sorrowes caue , With woe and desperations fetters bound : The captiue slaue imprison'd vnder ground Doom'b , there by fates t' expire his wofull daies : With care orewhelm'd , with griefe and sorrow drownd , Makes mournefull monings , and lamenting layes , Accusing , and accursing fortunes playes , Whose wither'd Autume leauelesse leaues his tree , And banning death for his to long delayes , Remaines the onely poore despised hee . If such a one as this , the world confine , His mischiefes are a sport , compard with mine . To the Right worshipfull and worthy Gentleman Master Henry Cooley of Carbye in the County of Kiluare , in Ireland . RIght worthy Sir , I pray the powers aboue , To make thy fortunes equall to my loue . To the Noble and vertuous Lady , the Lady Cecillia Ridgeway , wife to the honourable Knight Sir Thomas Ridgeway Knight Barronet . MOre happy , and more worthy scarce is any Wife to a worthy mother vnto many : Whose actions shewes , they from a stock did spring , Which taught them serue their heauen and earthly King. Sonnet . 8. In praise of musicke . NO Poet crownd with euerliuing bayes ( Though Art like floods should from his knowledge flowe ) He could not write enough in Musicks prayse : To which both man and Angels loue doe owe If my bare knowledge ten times more did know , And had ingrost all art from Pernas hill : If all the Muses should their skils bestow On me to amplifie my barren skill : I might attempt in shew of my good wil , In Musicks praise some idle lines to write : But wanting iudgement and my accent ill , I still should be vnworthy to indite . And run my wit on ground , like ship on shealfe For Musicks praise consisteth in it selfe . To the worthy Gentleman , and my very good friend , Master Iohn Blencowe , of Greies Inne . Anagramma . Noble in ech wo. LEt fortune when she dares but proue thy foe , In spight of fate , th' art Noble in ech woe . A Cataplasmicall Satyre , composed and compacted of sundry simples , as salt , vinegar , wormewood , and a little gall , very profitable to cure the imposlumes of vice . A Sauage rough haird Satyre , needs no guide , Wher 's no way , from the way he cannot slide : Then haue amongst you , through the brakes and bries , From those who to the Ceders top aspires Vnto the lowest shrub , or branch of broome , That hath his breeding from earths teeming woombe . And now I talke of broome , of shrubs and ceadars Me thinkes a world of trees are now my leaders : To prosecute this trauel of my pen , And make comparison twixt trees and men , The Ceadars , and the high cloud kissing Pynes , Fecundious oliues , and the crooked Vynes : The Elme , the Ashe , the Oake , the Masty Beeche , The Peare , the Aple , and the rug gownd Peache : And many more , for it would tedious be To name each fruitfull and vnfruitfull tree . But to proceed , to show how men , and trees In birth , in breed , in life , and death agrees : In their beginnings they haue all one birth , Both haue their naturall being from the earth , And heauens high hand , ( where he doth please to blesse Makes trees , or men , or fruitfull , or fruitlesse . In sundry vses trees doe serue mans turne To build , t' adorne , to feed , or else to burne . Thus is mans state in al degrees like theirs , Some are got vp to th' top of honours stayres , Securely sleeping on opinions pillow , Yet as vnfruitfull , as the fruitlesse willow . And fill vp roomes , ( like worthlesse trees in woods ) Whose goodnesse all consists in ill got goods : He like the Cedar makes a goodly show , But no good fruite will from his greatnesse grow Vntill he die , and from his goods depart , And then giues all away , despight his heart . Then must his friends , with mourning cloth be clad With insides merry , and with outsides sad : What though by daily grinding of the poore By bribry and extortion got his store : Yet at his death he gownes some foure score men , And t is no doubt he was a good man then ? Though in his life he thousands hath vndone To make wealth to his cursed coffers run : If at his buriall groats a peece be giuen , I le warrant you his soules in hell , or heauen : And for this doale perhaps the beggers striues That in the throng seuenteene doe lose their liues : Let no man tax me here with writing lies For what is writ I saw with mine owne eyes . Thus men like barren trees are feld and lopt , And in the fire to burne are quickly popt : Some man perhaps whilst he on earth doth liue , Part of his vaine superfluous wealth will giue : To build of Almshouses some twelue or tenne , Or more or lesse , to harbour aged men : Yet this may nothing be to that proportion , Of wealth which he hath gotten by extortion . What i st for man ( his greedy minde to serue ) To be the cause that thousands die and sterue : And in the ende , like a vaine glorious theefe , Will giue some ten or twelue a poore reliefe ? Like robbers on the way , that take a purse , And giue the poore a mite to scape Gods curse . But know this thou , whose goods are badly gotten , When thou art in thy graue consum'd and rotten , Thine heire ( perhaps ) will feast with his sweet punke , And Dice , and Drabe , and euery day be drunke , Carowsing Indian Trinidado smoke , Whilest thou with Sulphurous flames art like to choake . Se , se yond gallant in the Cloke-bagge breech , He 's nothing but a trunke cram'd full of speech : He 'le sweare as if gainst heauen he warres would wage , And meant to plucke downe Phaebus in his rage : When let a man but try him , hee 's all oathes , And odious lies , wrapt in vnpaid for cloathes . And this Lad is a Roaring boy forsooth . An exlent morsell for the hangmans tooth . He carelesly consumes his golden pelfe , In getting which his Father damnde himselfe . Whose soule , ( perhaps ) in quenchlesse fire doth broile , Whilest on the earth his sonne keepes leuell coile . T is strang to Church what numbers dayly flocke To drinke the spring of the eternall Rocke : The great soule sauing , Sathan slaying word , Gainst sinne , death , hell , th' alconquering sacred sword , Where high Iehouahs Trumpeters sound forth From East to West , from South vnto the North : ( For through all lands their Embasseyes are borne , And neuer doth againe in vaine returne : ) Which either is of life to life the sauor , Or death to death , exilde from Gods sweet fauour : Which blisse or bane their 's many daily heares , Who leaue their hearts at home , and bring their eares , And least their reckelesse heads , the word should smother , As soone as 't enters t'one , it 's out at tother . For let a Preacher preach vntill he sweats , Denouncing heau'ns great wrath in thundring threats Gainst sinne and sinners : Gainst high hearted pride , Gainst murder which hath oft for vengeance cride , Or enuie , leachery , Auarice , or swearing , Or any other vice they le giue the hearing , And say the Preacher wondrous paines did take , And did a very learned Sermon make : But what good Reformation hence proceeds , Are Mountaine words , and little Mole hill deedes . Tell Vsrers they are banisht from Gods hill , Yet they 'le continue in extortion still . Tell the proud Courtier , that he is but earth , He 'le o're the poore insult and bragge of birth . Expostulate the great Almighties Ire , And tell the murdrer , hell shall be his hire , Yet e're he le pocket vp the least disgrace , His en'mies guts shall be his Rapiers case . Tell daily drunkards hell shall be their lot , Thei 'le knocke and call to haue the tother pot . Tell Panders , Bawdes , knaues , and adulteous whores How they in hell must pay their cursed scores . Tell Mizer chuffes who charity do banish , How they from heau'n , eternally must vanish . Tell all in gen'rall of their liues amisse , And tell them that hels bottomlesse Abysse Must be their portions if they not repent , Till true repentance heau'ns iust wrath preuent . Yet when the Preacher all he can hath told , Soules vnto sinne are daily bought and sold. The Mizer with his leachery of Chinke , On earth will giue his dropsie soule to drinke , And though the word beat on his Anuile heart , From Vsury and Extortion he 'le not part , The piebald Gallant to the Church will come To heare his soules saluations totall summe . Yet his high pride is in such hauty dotage , Forgets he 's sprung from a poore country Cotage . The murdrer heares how reprobated Caine Was curst of God , that had his brother slaine , Yet when he 's from the Church , forgets it all , And stabs a man for taking of the wall . Should I through all mens seu'rall actions runne , I know my businesse neuer would be done . The rich man hates the poore man , and the poore Doth euuie gainst the rich man for his store . Thus is the blest soules euerliuing bread , In bounteous measure all the earth or'espread : Some on the high way fall and takes no roote , But is of no esteeme trode vnder foote : Some falles on stones , and some alights on thornes , Deuour'd with fowles , or choak'd with scoffs or scornes . Some little portion falles in fruitfull ground , Th' encrease of which is to be seldome found . For let men waigh their good deedes with their bad , For thousand ils , one good will scarse be had . And yet no doubt but God in store doth keepe His neere deere children , his best flocke of sheepe . For though vnto the world they are not knowne , Yet t is sufficient God doth know his owne . For though Elias thought himselfe was all That had not offered sacrifice to Ball : Iehouah answer'd him , seuen thousand more , In Israel , did this Idol not Adore . But who so much in this vile life are hated , As those which to saluation are created . For let a man resraine to drabe or dice , Out fie vpon him then , he 's too precise . Let him forbeare to lie , to sweare , or banne , O hang him rascall , he 's a Puritan . And sure I thinke the Deuill by that false name Hath added thousands soules vnto his flame . Some man ere he 'le be cal'd a Puritan Will turne a damned Machiauilian , A Libertine , Papist , or else what not , To keepe his name from so impure a blot . I speake not this regarding their estate , Who from our Church themselues doe seperate , For good indifferent Ceremonius rites , And gainst our Churches gouernment backbites . Nor doe I praise the louing Sisters loue , Who often makes the Brethren's spirits moue , And if t were lawfull ( they would gladly kno ) To dresse their meate the Sabbath day or no. And wherefore now the Churchmen of these daies , Ride too and fro , to preach so many waies , When Christ to his Apostles gaue in charge That they should seeke and teach all nations large , The way , that in his Lawes they might abide , Christ bade them goe , he bade them not to ride . These Idle questionists , these scismatickes , I hold no better then ranke heretikes : But this I thinke not well , when honest hearts Shall haue this impure name without desarts . How then can my comparing be gainstood , For men are like to trees , some bad , some good . But tarry Satyre , thou too fast dost trot , There is one thing more I had almost forgot , And this is it , of Alehouses , and Innes , Wine Merchants , Vintners , Brewers , who much winnes By others losing , I say more or lesse Who saile of hufcap lick or doe professe , Should neuer be to any office cald . Or in no place of Iustice be instalde : The reason is they gaine by mens excesse Of deuilish quafting and damb'd drunkennesse . For why , should men be moderate in their drinke . Much Beere , and bottle Ale should stand and stinke : And Mounseir Claret , and sweet Signeor Sacke Would sowre and turne vnto the Merchants wracke ? The Vintners then within their sellers deepe Such coniuring at midnight would not keepe . This swinish sinne hath man of sense bereauen , To bandy balles of blasphemy gainst heauen . It is the way , the dore , the porch , the gate , All other vices enter in thereat . A drunken man in rage will stab his brother , He 'le Cuckold his owne father , whoore his mother , Reuile and curse , sweare , and speake dangerous treason , And when he 's sober , hangs for 't by the weason . How then should men a reformation giue , To mend those crimes , that by those Crimes doe liue . The Patriarke Noah first did plant the Vine , And first did feele the powerfull force of wine . And righteous Lot , by wine depriu'd of wit , Foule Incest with his daughter did commit . And Holophernes drunken lay in bed Whilst strong faith'd , weake arm'd Iudith cut of 's head . Great Alexander out his Fauchion drewe And being drunke , his best friend Clitus slew . If euery haire vpon the heads of men Were quils , and euery quill were made a pen : Were Earth to paper turn'd ; and Seas to Inke And all the world were writers , yet I thinke , They could not write the mischifes done by drinke . And such a custome men hath tane therein , That to be drunke , is scarse accounted sinne , But houest recreariue meriment The time is term'd that is in tipling spent . A Marchants ship is richly fraught , ariues And for thanksgiuing that so wel he thriues , He makes a feast , and store of money spends , Inuites his kinsfolke , creditors , and friends : Where stormes , and Rocks , and Pirates , are forgot , And triumphes made to Bacchus , and the Pot. A Rich mans wife 's deliuered of a boy , And all the houshold must be drunk for ioy . The prisoner that 's condemn'd to die and hang , And by reprieue hath scap'd that bitter pang , Will presently his old acquaintance call , And ere he giues God thankes to drinking fall . Why drunkards common are , as lies , or stealing , And sober men are scarce , like honest dealing . When men doe meet , the second word that 's spoke , Is where 's good liquour , and a pipe of smoake . The labouring man that for his hire doth serue , Let Landlord tarry , wife and children sterue With not a bit of bread within the house , Yet he 'le sit on the Alebench and carows . Thus like an Inundation drinke doth drowne The Rich , the Poore , the Courtier , and the Clowne . Since then to be a drunkard , is to be The sincke of Incest , and Sodomitry , Of Treason , swearing , fighting , beg'ry , murder , And diuers more , I then will goe no furder : But heere my Satyrs stinging whip I le waste In lashing dropsie drunkards out of taste . How then can it be possible that such Who sell Wine , Beere , or Ale , doe gaine so much , Should punish drunkards , as the Law commands , In whose vaine spending , their most gaining stands . It were all one as if a Mercer did To weare Silke , Veluet , Cloth of Gold forbid . And Victlers may as wisely punish those From whom their daily drinks , great gettings growes . I would haue all old drunkards to consent To put a Bill vp to the Parlament : That those by quaffing that haue spent their wealth , Consum'd their times , their memory , their health , And by excessiue spending now are bare , That Merchants , Brewers , Vintners , should prepare Some Hospitals to keepe them in their age , And cloath , and feed them , from fierce famines rage , For euery one whose hard vnlucky lots , Hath beene to be vndone by empting pots , I hold it fit that those the pots that filde , Should contribute those Almeshouses to builde . Yet one obiection would this bill debarre , Too many drunkards there already are ; And rather then this law would bate their store , I feare'twould make them twise as many more . For why , to drinke most men would be too bold , Because they would haue pentions being old . And men ( of purpose to this vice would fall , To be true beads-men to this hospitall . Then let it be as it already is , But yet I hold it not to be amisse ) Those Drinkesellers , from office to exclude And so for that my Satyr doth conclude . I could rippe vp a Catologue of things , Which thousand thousands to damnation flings , But all my paines at last would be but idle . It is not man , can mens Affections bridle . Sinne cannot be put downe with inke and paper , No more then Sol is lightned with a Taper . To the right Worshipfull and my euer good friend , Sr. ROVVLAND COSTON Knight . TO Read , to like , to laugh , I send you this , Desiring pardon where their 's ought amisse . When Graner matters trouble not your head , With former fauour let my lines be read . To my very good Friends Master Alexander Glouer , Mr. Iohn Rowdon , and Mr. Iohn Burges . THough Rich Pecunia ( that all states commands ) In Numbers numberlesse runs through your hands : Yet this I know , it neuer moues the minde From goodnesse , that to goodnesse is inclinde . And though it makes most men dishonest proue , It cannot make your honest mindes remoue . Then as your kindnesse vnto me assures Your loue , so I remaine for euer yours . To Mistresse Rose . Anagramma SORE . SOund Rose , though Sore thy Anagram doth meane , Mistake it not , it meanes no sore vncleane : But it Alludes vnto the lofty skie In which thy vertue shall both Sore and slye . To my approued good friend Mr. ROBARTE CVDDNER . Anagramma : Record and be tru . MY thoughts Record , and their account is true , I scarce haue better friends aliue then you . A nest of Epigrams . Fortune . 1. T Is Fortunes glory to keepe Poets poore , And cram weake witted Idiots with her store : And t is concluded in the wisest schooles The blinded drab , shall euer fauour fooles . Epigram 2. Loue. LOue is a dying life , a liuing death . A vapor , shadow , buble , and a breath : An idle bable , and a paltry toy , Whose greatest Patron is a blinded boy : But pardon loue , my iudgement is vniust , For what I spake of loue , I meant of lust . Epigram 3. Death . THose that scape fortune , and th' extreames of loue , Vnto their longest homes , by death are droue : Where Caesars , Kaesars , Subiects , Abiects must Be all alike , consum'd to durt and dust : Death endeth all our cares , or cares encreace It sends vs vnto lasting paine , or peace . Epigram 4. Fame . WHē Fortune , Loue & Death their tasks haue doon Fame makes our liues through many ages run : For be our liuing actions , good or ill Fame keepes a record of our doings still , By Fame Great Iulius Caesar euer liues ; And Fame , infamous life to Nero giues . Epigram 5. Time. ALL making , marring , neuer turning Time To all that is , is period , and is prime : Time weares out Fortune , Loue , and Death and Fame And makes the world forget ther proper name . Ther 's nothing that so long on earth can last , But in conclusion Time will lay it wast . Epigram . 6. Kame , kathee . MY Muse hath vow'd , reuenge shall haue her swindge To catch a Parrot in the Woodcocks sprindge . Epigram 7. Solus . THe land yeelds many Poets , were I gone The water sure ( I durst be sworne ) had none . Epigram 8. Selfe conceit . SOme Poets are , whose high pitch lofty straines Are past the reach of euery vulgar wight : To vnderstand which t will amaze weake braines , So mysticall , sophisticall they write : No maruell others vnderstand them not , For they scarce vnderstand themselues , I wot , Epigram 9. A couple . ONe read my booke , and said it wanted wit , I wonder if he meant himselfe , or it : Or both : if both , two fooles were met I troe That wanted wit , and euery foole doth soe . Epigram 10. Bacchus and Apollo . THe thigh-borne bastard of the thrundring Ioue ( When mens inuentions , are of wit most hollow ) He with his spitefull iuice their sprites doth moue , Vnto t' harmonious musicke of Apollo : And in a word , I would haue al men know it , He must drinke wine , that meanes to be a Poet. Epigram 11. Of translation . I Vnderstand or know no foraigne tongue , But their translations I doe much admire : Much art , much paines , much study doth belong , And ( at the least ) regard should be their hyre . But yet I would the French had held togither And kept their pox , and not translate them hither . Epigram 12. Natures counterfeite . WHen Adam was in Paradice first plac'd , And with the rule of mortal things was grac'd , Then roses , pinkes and fragrant gilliflowers , Adornd and deck'd forth Edens blessed bowres : But now each Gill weares flowres , each Punck hath pinks , And roses garnish Gallants shooes me thinkes : When rugged Winter , robs fairy Floraes treasure , Puncks can haue pinks and roses at their pleasure . Epigram 13. The deuill take bribery . A Man atach't for murdring of a man Vnto the for-man of his lury sent , Two score angels , begging what he can , He would his conscience straine , law to preuent : That his offences Iudge , might iudge no further But make man slaughter of his wilfull murther : The verduict was manslaughter to the Iudge , The Iudge demanded how it could be so ? The for-man said his conscience much did grudge : But forty angels did perswade him no , Well quoth the Iudge this case shall murther be , If halfe those angels , not appeare to me . Thus when the law men to confusion driues , The godlesse angels will preserue their liues . Epigram 14. The deuill is a knaue . I Shell dislikes the surplusse and the cope , And calls them idle vestments of the Pope : And mistresse Maude would goe to Church full faine But that the corner cap makes her refraine : And Madam Idle is offended deepe , The Preacher speakes so lowde , she cannot sleepe : Loe thus the deuill sowes contentious seed , Whence sects , and schismes , and heresies doo breed . Epigram 15. Kissing goes by fauour . BEmbus the Burgomaster liues in paine With the Sciatica , and the Cathar . Rich Grundo of the dropsie doth complaine , And with the Gowte these mizers troubled are . If Tinkers , Coblers , Botchers be infected With Bembus Lamenesse , or with Grundoes Gowte : Like pocky fellowes they must be reiected , And as infectious rascalls be kept out , And not come neere where holesome people flocks , Thus rich mens sicknesses , are poore mens pocks . Epigram 16. Deere , no Venison . PRecilla alwaies cals her husband Deere , Belike she bought him at too deere a rate , Or else to make the case more plaine appeere , Like to a Deere she hath adorn'd his pate ; If it be so god Vulcan send her luck That she may liue to make her Deere a Buck. Epigram 17. Euerything is pretty when it is little . THere is a saying old , ( but not so witty ) That when a thing is little , it is pritty : This doating age of ours it finely fits Where many men thought wise , haue pretty wies . Epigram 18. ●●●e●ne somewhat . ONe ask'd me , what my Melancholy meanes , I answer'd t was because I wanted meanes : He ask'd what I did by my answere meane , I told him still my meanes were too too meane . He offer'd me to lend me pounds a score , I answer'd him I was to much in score . He finding me in this crosse answ'ring vaine , Left me in want to wish for wealth in vaine . Epigram 19. Faith without workes . AMmongst the pure reformed Amsterdamers , ( Those faithfull friday feasting capon crammers ) Onely in them ( they say ) true faith doth lurke : But t is a lazy faith , t will doe no worke . O should it worke , ther 's many thousand feares , T' would set the world together by the eares . Epigram 20. Partiallity . STrato the Gallant reeles alongst the streete , His adle head 's too heauy for his feete : What though he sweare and swagger spurne and kick , Yet men will say the Gentleman is sick ? And that t were good to learne where he doth dwell , And helpe him home because he is not well . Strait staggers by a Porter , or a Carman As bumsie as a fox'd flapdragon German : And though the Gentlemans disease and theirs , Are parted onely with a paire of sheares : Yet they are drunken knaues and must to 'th stocks , And there endure a world of flouts and mocks . Thus when braue Strato's wits with wine are shrunk , The same disease wil make a begger drunk . Epigram 21. A keeper of honesty . DEliro should of honesty be full , And store of wisdome surely is within him . What though he dally with a painted trull : And she to folly daily seemes to win him , Yet in him sure is honesty good store , He vtters but his knauerie with a whore ? For he that spends too free , shall surely want , Whilst he that spares will liue in wealthy state : So wit and honesty , with such are scant , Who part with it at euery idle rate : But men must needs haue honesty and wit , That like Deliro neuer vtter it . Epigram 22. All 's one , but on 's not all . TO wonder and admire is all one thing , If as Sinonymies the words be tooke , But if a double meaning from them spring : For double sence your Iudgement then must looke . As once a man all soild with durt and mire Fell downe , and wonder'd not , but did admire . Epigram 23. Mistresse fine bones . FIne Rarnell wonderfully likes her choyce In hauing got a husband so compleat , Whose shape and minde doth wholy her reioyce : At bed , board , and abroad , he 's alwaies neate : Neate can he talke , and feed , and neatly tread , Neate are his feete , but most neat is his head . Epigram 24. A supposed Construction . MAry and Mare , Anagramatiz'd The one is Armye , and the other Arme In both their names is danger Moraliz'd And both alike , doth sometimes good , or harme Mare 's the sea and Mare 's Arme 's a riuer And Marye's Armye 's all for whatl'ye giue her . Epigram 25. Death is a Iuggler . A Rich man sicke would needs goe make his will And in the same he doth command and will One hundred pound vnto his man cald Will , Because he alwaies seru'd him with good will : But al these wills , did prooue to Will but vaine , His master liues and hath his health againe . Epigram 26. Mistresse Grace onely by name . GRace gracelesse , why art thou vngratious Grace , Why dost thou run so lewdely in the race ? The cause wherefore thy goodnesse is so scant Is cause , what most thou hast , thou most dost want . Epigram 27. Prudence . T Is strange that Prudence should be wild and rude , Whose very name doth Modesty include : The reason is , for ought that I can see , Her name and nature doth not well agree . Epigram 28. Mercy . MY Mercie hates me , what 's the cause I pray , T is cause I haue no money , shee doth say . O cruell Mercy now I plainely see Without a see no mercy comes from thee . Yet in conclusion , euery idle gull Perceiues Mercy is vnmercifull . Epigram 29. Faith. O Faith thou alwaies vnbeleeuing art , Faith in thy name , and faithlesse in thy hart . Thou credidst all , but what is true and good , In vertue rude , in vice well vnderstood . Epigram 30. Vpon my selfe . MY selfe I liken to an vntun'de Viol , For Like a Viol I am in a Case ; And who so of my fortunes makes a triall Shall ( like to me ) be strung and tuned base . And Treables Troubles he shall neuer want , But here 's the Periode of my mischiefes All , Thogh Base and Trebles , fortune did me grant And Meanes , but yet alas they are too small . Yet to make vp the Munck & I must looke The Tenor in the cursed Counter booke . Epigram 31. A Rope for Parrat . WHy doth the Parrat cry a Rope , a rope , Because he 's cagde in prison out of hope . Why doth the Parrat call a Boate , a Boate ? It is the humor of his idle note . O prety Pall , take heede , beware the Cat , ( Let Watermen alone , no more of that . ) Since I so idly heard the Parrat talke , In his owne language , I say , walke knaue walke . Epigram 32 Constants . INconstant Constants albewitching feature , Hath made faire Constance an inconstant Creature , Her Godmother was very much to blame , To giue Inconstancy a constant name . But was a woman nam'de her so contrary , And womens tongues and hearts doe euer varie . Epigram 33 Vpon the burning of the Globe . ASpiring Phaeton with pride inspirde , Misguiding Phaebus Carre , the world the firde : But Ouid did with fiction serue his turne , And I in action sawe the Globe to burne . Epigram 34. Late Repentance . A Greedy wretch did on the Scriptures looke , And found recorded in that Sacred booke , How such a man with God should sure preuaile Who clad the naked , and visit those in Iaile . And then he found how he had long mistak'd , And oftentimes had made the cloathed nak'd : In steed of visiting th' opprest in mones , He had consum'd them to the very bones . Yet one day he at leasure would Repent , But sudden death Repentance did preuent . Epigram 35. Not so strange as true . THe stately Stagge when he his hornes hath shedde , In sullen sadnesse he deplores his losse : But when a wife cornutes her husbands head , His gaines in hornes he holdes an extreame Crosse. The Stagge by loasing doth his losse complaine , The man by gaining doth lament his gaine . Thus whether hornes be either lost or found , They both the loser and the winner wounde . Epigram 36. A Wordmonger . MAns Vnderstanding's so obnubilate , That when thereon I doe excogitate , Intrinsicall and querimonious paines , Doth puluerise the concaue of my braines , That I could wish man were vnfabricate , His faults he doth so much exaggerate . Epigram 37. Plaine dunstable . YOur words passe my capatchity , good zur , But ich to proue neede neuer to goe vur : Cha knowne men liue in honest exclamation , Who now God wot , liues in a worser fashion . The poor man grumbles at the rich mans store , And rich men daily doe expresse the poore . Epigram 38. Reason . KNowest thou a Traitor , plotting damned Treason , Reueale him , t is both loialty and Reason . Knowest thou a thiefe will steale at any season , To shunne his company thou hast good reason , Seest thou a villaine hang vp by the weason , He hangs by reason , that he wanted reason . Good men are scarse , and honest men are geason , To loue them therefore t is both right and reason , Mere I could say , but all 's not worth two peason , And therefore to conclude I hold it reason . Epigram 39. Out of the pan into the fire . TOm sencelesse , to the death doth hate a play : But yet hee le play the drunkard euery day , He railes at plaies , and yet doth ten times worse , He 'le dice , he 'le bowle , he 'le whore , he 'le sweare , he 'le curse , When for one two pence ( if this humor please ) He might go see a play , and scape all these : But t is mans vse in these pestiferous times To hate the least , and loue the greatest crimes . Epigram 40. A Poets similitude . A Poet Rightly may be tearmed fit An abstract , or Epitomy of wit : Or like a Lute that others pleasures breed , Is fret and strung , their curious eares to feed , That scornefully distast it , yet t is knowne It makes the hearers sport , but in selfe none . A Poet 's like a taper , burnt by night That wasts it selfe , in giuing others light . A Poet 's the most foole beneath the skies , He spends his wits in making Idiots wise , Who when they should their thankefulnesse returne They pay him with disdaine , contempt and scorne . A Puritan is like , a Poets purse , For both do hate the crosse ( what crosse is worse ? ) Epigram 41. Macanas Epitaph . HEere lies the Steward of the Poets God , Who whilst on earth his loued life abod , Apollo's Daughters , and the heires of Ioue His memorable bounty did approue : His life , was life to Poets , and his Death Bereau'd the Muses of celestiall breath . Had Phoebus fir'd him from the lofty skies , That Phaenix like another might arise From our his odoriff'rus sacred embers , Whose lou'd liues losse , poore Poetry remembers . This line is the same backward , as it is forward , and I will giue any man fiue shillings a peece for as many as they can make in English. Lewd did I liue and euil I did dwel . An Apologie for Watermen . Dedicated to Master Richard WARNER the Master of his Maiesties Barge , and to the rest of the Masters and Assistants of the Companie . SVch imputations , and such daily wrongs Are laid on Watermen , by Enuious tongues . To cleare the which , if I should silent be T' were basenesse , and stupidity in me . Nor doe I purpose now with inke and pen , To write of them , as they are watermen , But this I speake , defending their vocation From slanders false , and idle imputation . Yet should I onely of the men but speake I could the top of Enuies Coxcombe breake . For I would haue all men to vnderstand A Waterman's a man by Sea or Land. And on the land and sea , can seruice do To serue his King , as well as other two : He 'le guard his Country both on seas and shore And what ( a Gods name ) can a man doe more . Like double men they well can play indeed The Soldiers , and the Sailers for a need . If they did yeerely vse to scoure the Maine , As erst they did , in wars twixt vs and Spaine , I then to speake , would boldly seeme to dare One Sailer with two Soldiers should compare . But now sweet peace their skill at Sea so duls , That many are more sit to vse their sculs Then for the sea , for why ! the want of vse Is Arts confusion , and best skils abuse . And not to be too partiall in my words , I thinke no Company more knaues affoords : And this must be the reason , because farre Aboue all Companies their numbers are : And where the multitude of men most is , By consequence there must be most amisse . And sure of honest men it hath as many , As any other Company hath any . Though not of wealth they haue super fluous store , Contents is a Kingdome , and they seeke no more . Of Mercers , Grocers , Drapers , men shall finde Men that to loose babauiour are inclinde . Of Goldsmiths , Silkemen , Clothworkers , and Skinners , When they are at the best they all are sinners . And drunken rascalles are of euery Trade , Should I name all , I or'e the bootes should wade ? If Watermen be onely knaues alone , Let all that 's faultlesse cast at them a stone . Some may reply to my Apology : How they in plying are vnmannerly , And one from tother , hale , and pul , and teare , And raise , and braule , and curse , and banne , and sweare . In this I le not defend them with excuses , I alwaies did , and doe hate those abuses . The honest vse , of this true trade I sing , And not the abuses that from thence doe spring . And sure no Company hath Lawes more strict , Then Watermen , which weekely they inflict Vpon offenders , who are made pay duely Their fines , or prison'd , cause they plide vnruly . They keepe no shops , nor sell deceitfull wares , But like to Pilgrims trauell for their fares , And they must aske the question where they goe . If men will goe by water yea or no Which being spoke aright , the fault 's not such , But any Tradesman ( sure ) will doe as much . The Mercer as ye passe along the way Will aske what d' e lacke , come neere I pray . The Draper whose warme ware doth clad the backe , Will be so bolde as aske ye what d' e lacke . The Goldsmith midst his siluer and his gold To aske you , what d' e lacke he will be bold . Through Birchin lane , who euer often goes , Saies , Watermen are honest men to those , And if your Coate be torne , before you goe , Of euery rent , with rending thei 'le make two . This being granted , as none can deny , Most Trades aswell as Watermen doe plye , If in their plying they doe chance to iarre , They doe but like the Lawyers at the Barre . Who plead as if they meant by the'ares to fall , And when the Court doth rise , to friendship fall . So Watermen , that for a fare contends The fare once gone , the Watermen are friends . And this I know , and therefore dare maintaine , That he that truely labours and takes paine , May with a better Conscience sleepe in bed , Then he that is with ill got thousands sped . So well I like it , and such loue I owe Vnto it , that I le fall againe to Rowe : T will keepe my health from falling to decay , Get money , and chase Idlenesse away . I 'm sure it for Antiqnity hath stood , Since the worlds drowning vniuersall flood , And howsoeuer now it rise or fall . The Boate in Noahs Del 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 And though our wits , be like our purses bare , With any Company we 'le make compare To write a Verse , prouided that they be No better skild in Schollership then we . And then come one , come thousands , nay , come all , And for a wager wele to Versing fall . My unwilling farewell to POETRIE . ADue thou two topt Clowde surmounting Mount , Adue thou sacred sweet Pegasean fount , Adue you rarest Sisters , three times three , Take all in generall this farewell of mee . Full low ( alas ) lies good Mecaenas head , And Bounty from the mizer world is fled . I find the Thames can yeeld me more ( by proofe ) Then can the Well made with the Horses hoose : Then since t is so that Poets must be poore ( For any thing I know ) I le verse no more , And therefore to Conclude , let all men know I le cease to write , and fall againe to Rome . Epilogue to those that knowes what they haue read , and how to censure . TO you whose eares and eyes haue heard and seene This little pamphlet , an●●● an iudge betweene That which is good , or tol'rable , or ill , If I with Artlesse Nature wanting skill Haue writ but ought , that may your thoughts content . My Muse hath then accomplisht her intent . Your fauors can preserue me , but your frownes My poore inuentions in obliuion drownes . With tollerable friendship let me craue You will not seeke to spill , what you may saue . But for the wrimouth'd Crittick that hath read That mewes , and puh's and shakes h●●●●●●inelesse head : And saies my education or my sta●●● Doth make my verse esteem'd at lower rate , To such a one this answere I doe send And bid him mend before he discommend , His Enuy vnto me , will fauours prooue , The hatred of a foole breeds wise mens loue . My Muse is iocund that her labors merits To be malign'd and scornd by Enuious spirits : Thus humbly I cra●e ●●rd●●●●●●the best , Which being gaind , Sir reuerence for the rest . FINIS . 
A13487	----	The praise, antiquity, and commodity, of beggery, beggers, and begging. Iohn Taylor Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1621 Approx. 43 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 15 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13487 STC 23786 ESTC S118267 99853474 99853474 18857 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13487) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18857) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:18) The praise, antiquity, and commodity, of beggery, beggers, and begging. Iohn Taylor Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [28] p. Printed by E[dward] A[llde] for Henry Gosson, and are to be sold by Edward Wright neere Christs Church Gate, London : 1621. Mostly in verse. With a title-page woodcut. Printer's name from STC. Signatures: A-D⁴ (-A1, D4). Running title reads: The begger. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Begging -- England -- Early works to 1800. Beggars -- England -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-09 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-09 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE PRAISE , ANTIQVITY , and commodity , of Beggery , Beggers , and Begging . Beggers Bush. A Maunbering Begger . A gallant Begger . At London Printed by E. A. for Henry Gosson , and are to be sold by Edward Wright neere Christs Church Gate . 1621. TO THE BRIGHT EYE-DAZELING MIRROVR OF MIRTH , Adelantado of Alacrity , the Pump of pastime , spout of sport , and Regent of ridiculous Confabulations , ARCHIBALD ARMESTRONG , alias the Court ARCHY . ENuie and Hate are such daily followers , and deadly enemies , of the wife , honest , and vertuous , that my hope is , that they will neuer doe you wrong or iniurie : And my beliefe is , that ( as you haue euer ) you will alwayes carie your selfe so worthily in all your actions , that your best deserts shall neither merrit envie or hatred . I haue heere made bold to present to your illiterate protection , a beggerly Pamphlet of my threed-bare inuention : I doe assure you that I was more troubled in studying where to finde a fit Patron , then I was in writing the Booke ; I thought to haue dedicated it to Beggers Bush neere Andeuer , or to his Hawthorne brother within a mile of Huntington : but I considered at last , that the laps of your long Coate could shelter me as well ●r better then any beggerly Thorne-lush . I did once dedicate a Booke to your patronage , of the supposed drowning of M. Thomas Coriat , and I did also dedicate tryce small Treatises to a Leash of Knights ; and because you all foure make a well match'd Murniuall of Patrons , ( for you all alike very illiberally put your hands in your pockets , and to make your monies euen , gaue me nothing : ) It makes me the bolder at this time to come vpon you againe , not doubting but your bounty will require my loue and paines with as much more . It may be that your high affaires ( wherein you are continually pestred with needlesse imployments ) rubs your minde quite from the Ryas , that you doe not see in what declining predicament your owne sometimes esteemed quality is : for the dayes hath beene that many men kept Fooles , but now ( to saue that charge ) the most part of such Benefactors performe the function themselues : So that if you take not a speedy order , fooling will bee as common as begging or whore-maisters , and the sight or presence either of your worthy selfe , or any of your long-taild tribe ( which was wont to be seene and heard with admiration ) will be no more regarded . To preuent which , I would counsell you to make a Corporation of fooling , and that none shall intrude into the society hereafter , but such as shall be Apprentizes to the quality , of which those that are now liuing , to contribute toward the building or purchasing of a Hall , your selfe ( during your life ) to be perpetuall Maister of the Company . I heare that the valarous Sir Thomas , Knight of the Sunne , hath had such a proiect in his head , end hath presumed to petition for himselfe , to haue the sole approbation of all authorized Fooles and Buffones . But for aught I see , you neede not feare that he will preuent you in this Monopoly , hee being so farre from the sufficiencie of a generall super-intendant , that he is esteemed unworthy to be a setter vp of the trade : for mine owne part , a Beadles place is onely my ambition , to whip those out of the Society that are malapert fooles , surcie fooles , prodigall fooles , courteous fooles , proud fooles , counter fait fooles , or any one that is more Knaue than Foole. Apart of Bridewell would serue silly for a Hall , and the Armes of the brotherhood shall be an Asses head Dormant , in a field Gules , with a Bable and three Coxcombs rampant , and two morice-bels pendant , with a Whip passant lashant for the Crest , the Esoucheon mantled with powdred Vermine . This if you please to take in hand , no doubt but the worke will be meritorious and notorious , and as the Romane Emperours Nero , Caligula , and Heliogabelus , are as famous for their acts , lines , and deathes , as the good Augustus , Alexander , Seuerus , and Marcus Aurelius : So shall you be remembred in succeeding ages beyond the memory of Scoggin , or worthy Will Summers . I pray you be not angry that I doe not salute you with the flattering Epheihites , of honest , courteous , friendly , louing or kinde ; for as yet you neuer gaue mee occasion to doe you any such iniurie : I protest Sir , I doe loue you with that affection as is correspondent to the vaccuity of your Worthinesse , and I am assured that at all times you will stand my friend in word or deede , for as much as comes to an vnbaked Tabacco-Pipe . In which assurance I kisse your hand as innocent as the new borne Babe , or Lamb in the Cradle , and shall euer wish you a nimble tongue , to make other mens money runne into your Purse , and quicke heeles to out-runne the or Hue and crie , if occasion require . He that admires your vnparallelable parts , and wisheth the reuersion of your gaines rather then your Office : Iohn Taylor . THE PRAISE , ANTIQVITY , AND COMMODITY of Beggerie , Beggers , and Begging . A Begger from an Antient house begins , Old Adams soone , and heire vnto his sins : And as our father Adam did possesse The world , there 's not a Begger that hath lesse . For whereof is the world compact and fram'd But Elements , which to our fence are nam'd , The Earth , the Ayre , the Water , and the Fire , With which all liue , without which all-expire . These , euery Begger hath in plenteous store , And euery mighty Monarch hath no more . Nor can the greatest Potentate aliue , The meanest Begger of these things depriue . The Earth is common , both for birth or Graues , For Kings , and Beggers , Free-men , and for Slaues : And a poore Begger as much Ayre will draw , As he that could keepe all the world in awe . The Water , be it Riuers , Seas , or Spring , 'T is equall for a Begger as a King. And the Celestiall Sunne 's bright fire , from Heauen 'Mongst all estates most equally is giuen . Giu'n , not to be ingrost , or bought , not sold , For gifts and bribes , or base corrupting gold . These things nor poore or rich , can sell nor buy , Free for all liuing creatures , till they dye . An Emperour , a great command doth beate ; But yet a Begger 's more secure from feare . A King may vse disports ( as fits the season ) But yet a Begger is more safe from Treason . A Prince ( amidst his cares ) may merry be , But yet a Begger is from flatt'rers free . A Duke , is a degree magnificent , But yet a Begger may haue more content . A Marquesse , is a title of great fame , A Begger may offend more , with lesse blame . An Earle , an honourable house may keepe , But yet a begger may more soundly sleepe . A Vizecoune may be honour'd and renound , But yet a begger 's on a surer ground . A Barron , is a Stile belou'd and Noble , But yet a begger is more stee from troble . A Knight , is good ( if his deserts be such ) But yet a begger may not owe so much . A good Esquire is worthy of respect , A begger 's in lesse care , though more neglect . A Gentleman , may good apparell weare , A begger , from the Mercers booke is cleare . A Seruing-man that 's young , in older yeares Oft proues an aged begger , it appeares . Thus all degrees and states , what o're they are , With beggers happinesse cannot compare Heau'n is the roofe that Canopies his head , The cloudes his Curtaines , and the earth his bed , The Sunne his fire , the Starre's his candle light , The Moone his Lampe that guides him in the night . When scorching Sol makes other mortals sweat , Each tree doth shade a begger from his heat : When nipping Winter makes the Cow to quake , A begger will a Barne for harbour take , When Trees and Steeples are o're-turn'd with winde , A begger will a hedge for shelter finde : And though his inconueniences are store , Yet still he hath a salue for eu'ry sore , He for new fashions , owes the Tayler nothing , Nor to the Draper is in debt for cloathing : A begger , doth not begger or deceaue Others , by breaking like a bankerupt Knaue . He 's free from shoulder-clapping Sergeants clawes , He 's out offeare of Enuies canker'd iawes : He liues in such a safe and happy state , That he is neither hated , nor doth hate . None beares him malice , rancour , or despight , And he dares kill , those that dare him back-bite . Credit he neither hath or giues to none , All times and seasons , vnto him are one : He longs not for , or feares a quarter day , For Rent he neither doth receiue or pay . Let Nation against Nation warres denounce , Let Cannons thunder , and let Muskets bounce : Let armies , armies , force 'gainst force oppose , He nothing feares , nor nothing hath to lose . Let Townes and Towres with batt'ry be o're-turn'd , Let women be deflowr'd and houses burn'd : Let men sight pell-mell , and loose life and lim , If earth and skies-escafe , all 's one to him . O happy begg'ry , euery liberall Art Hath left the thanklesse world , and takes thy part : And learning , conscience , and simplicity , Plaine dealing , and true perfect honesty , Sweet Poetry , and high Astronomy , Musickes delightfull heau'nly harmony , All these ( with begg'ry ) most assuredly Haue made a friendly league to liue and dye . For Fortune hath decreed , and holds it fit , Not to giue one man conscience , wealth , and wit : For they are portions which to twaine belong , And to giue all to one were double wrong , Therefore although the Goddesse want her eyes , Yet in her blinded bounty she is wise . I will not say , but wealth and wisedome are In one , ten , or in more , but 't is most rare : And such men are to be in peace or warres , Admir'd like black Swans , or like blazing Starres . Two sorts of people fills the whole world full , The witty Begger , and the wealthy Gull : A Scholler , stor'd with Ares , with not one crosse , And Artlesse Naball stor'd with Indian drosse . I haue seene learning tatter'd , bare and poore , Whil'st Barbarisme hath domineerd with store : I haue knowne knowledge , in but meane regard , Whil'st Ignorance hath rob'd it of reward : And witlesse Coxcombs , I haue heard dispute , Whil'st profound Indgements must be dumb and mute . Apollo , with aduice did wisely grant , That Poets should be poore , and line in want : And though plaine Beggers they doe not appeare , Yet their estates doth shew their kin is neere . Parnassus Mount is fruitlesse , bare and sterill , And all the Muses poore in their apparell : Bare legg'd , and footed , with disheuel'd haire , Nor Buskins , Shooes , or Head-tires for to weare . So farre they are from any shew of thrist , They scarce haue e're a smock themselues to shift . Homer , that was the Prince of Poetry , Was a blinde Begger , and in pouerty : And matchlesse Ouid , ( in poore wretched case ) Exil'd from Rome to Pontus in disgrace . And Maniun Maro , * for some space in Rome , Was to Augustus but a Stable Groome : His verses shew he had a learned head , Yet all his profit was but bread and bread . A Lowse hath sixe feete , from whose creeping sprawl'd The first Hexameters , the euer crawl'd : And euer since , in mem'ry of the same , A Lowse amongst the Learned is no shame . Then since the * mountaines barren Muses bare , And Prince of Poets had ae Beggers share : Since their blinde Soueraigne was a Begger poore , How can the Subiects but be voyd of store ? What are their figures , numbers , types and tropes , But Emblems of poore shadowes , and vaine hopes . Their allegories , similies , allusions , Threed-bare , doe end in beggerly conclusions : Nor can their Comedies and Tragedies , Their Comitragy , Traggecomedies , No pastorall preterplupastorall , Their Morall studies , and Historicall , Their sharp I-ambick , high Heroick Saphique , And all where with their painefull studies traffique : All these cannot allow a meanes compleate To keepe them out of Debt with Clothes and meate . And though a Poet have th' accomplish'd partes Of Learning , and the Axiomes of all Artes : What though he study all his braines to dust , To make his Fame Immortall , and not rust , Reuoluing day by day and night by night , And waste himselfe in giuing others light , Yet this is all the Guerdon he shall haue , That begg'ry will attend him his Graue . He ( in his owne Conceit ) may haue this blisse , And sing , My minde to me a Kingdome is . But 't is a Kingdome wanting forme or matter , Or substance , like the Moonshine in the water . For as a learned * Poet wrote before , Grosse Golde runnes headlong from them , to the Bore ; For which this vnauoyded Vow I le make , To loue a Begger for Poets sake . I that ne're dranke of Agganippes Well , That in Parnissus Suburbes scarce doe dwell , That neuer tasted the Pegassiar Spring , Or Tempe , nor e'reheard the Muses sing , I ( that in Vearse ) can onely Rime and matter Quite from the purpose , Method , or the matter . Yet some for friendship , Ignorance , or pitty Will say my lines may passe , indifferent , pritty : And for this little , Itching , Vearsing vaine , With me the Begger vowes he will remaine . But if I could but once true Poetry win , He would sticke close to me , as is my Skin . And sure if any man beneath the Sky , Had to his Nurse a Witch , it must be I , For I remember many yeares agoe , When I would Cry , as Children vse to doe : My Nurse to still me , or to make me cease From crying would say hush lambe , prey thee peace . But I ( like many youth or froward boyes ) Would yaule , and baule , and make a wewling noyse Then shee ( in anger ) in her armes would snatch me , And bid the Begger , or bulbegger catch me , With take him Begger , take him would she say , Then did the Begger such hard hold fast lay Vpon my backe , that yet I neuer could Nor euer shall in force him leaue his holde The reason therefore why I am not Rich I thinke is , cause my Nurse was halfe a witch . But since it is decreed that I must be A begger , welcome begg'ry vnto me : I le patiently embrace my destir'd Fate And liue as well on some of higher Rate . Yet shall my begg'ry no strange Suites deuise As Monopolies to catch Fleas or Flyes : Or the Sole making of all Bleachers prickes , Or Corkes for bottles , or for euery sixe Smelt , Seacrab , Flounder , Playee or Whiting mop , One , as a Duty vnto me to drop Nor to marke Cheeses , I le not beg at all , Nor for the Mouse trap Geometricall . Nor will I impudently beg for I and , Nor ( with Ambition ) beg to haue Command : Or meate , or cloathes , or that which few men giue , I le neuer beg for money whilst I liue . Yet money I esteeme a precious thing , Because it beares and picture of my King : Vnto my King I will a seruant be , And make his pictures seruants vnto men . One onely Begg'ry euer I 'le embrace , I le beg for grace , of him that can give grace , Who all thinges feedes and fils , and ouer-seeth Who giues , and casteth no man in the teeth . So much for that , now on my Theame againe , What vertues Begg'ry still doth entertaine . First amongst Beggers , there 's not one in twenty , But hath the Art of memory most plenty : When those that are possest with riches store ( If e're they were in Beggers state and poore ) They quite forget it , and will euer hate The memory of any Beggers state . For fortune , fauour , or benignity , May rayse a Begger vnto Dignity : When like a bladder , puft with pride and pelfe , Hee 'l neither know his betters , nor himselfe , But if a Begger hath bin wealthy euer , He from his minde puts that remembrance neuer . And thus if it be Rightly vnderstood , A beggers Memory is euer good . Nor he by Gluttony , or swimish surfet , Doth purchase Sicknes with his bodies forfeit . On bonds or bills , he borrowes not , or lends , He neither by extortion gets or spends . No Vsury he neither takes or gines : Oppresse he cannot , yet opprest he liues . Nor when he dyes , he leaues no wrangling heyres To lose by Law that which was his or theirs Men that are blinde in iudgement may see this Which of the Rich , or Beggers hath to oft blisse : On which most pleasure , Fortune seemes to hurle , The Lowsie begger , or the gowty Churle : The Ragged begger sitting in the Stocks , Or the Embrodered Gallant with the Pocks . A Begger euery way is Adams Son , For in a Garden Adam first begun : And so a Begger euen from his birth , Doth make his Garden the whole entire Earth . The fieldes of Corne doth yeeld him straw and bread To Feed and Lodge , and Hat to hide his head : And in the stead of Cut-throat slaughtering Shambles , Each Hedge allowes him Berryes from the brambles . The Bullesse , hedge Peake , Hips and Hawes , and Sloes , Attends his appetite where e're he goes : As for his Sallets , better neuer was , Then acute Sorrell , and sweet three leau'd Grasse , And as for Sawce he seldome is at Charges For euery Crabtree doth affoord them Vergis . His banket , somtimes is greene Beanes and Peason , Nuts , Peares , Plumbes , Apples , as they are in season . His musicke waytes on him in euery bush , The Mauis , Bulfinch , Blackbird and the Thrush : The mounting Larke , sings in the lofty Sky , And Robin Redbrest makes him melody . The Nightingale chants most melodiously , The chirping Sparrow , and the chattering Pye. My neighbour Cuckow , alwayes in one tune , Sings like a Townsman still in May and Iune . These feather'd Fidlers , sing , and leape and play , The begger takes delight , and God doth pay . Moreouer ( to accomplish his Content ) There 's nothing wants to please his sight or sent . The Earth embrodered with the various hew Of Greene , Red , Yellow , Purple , Watchet , Blew : Carnation , Crimson , Damaske , spotles White , And euery colour that may please the sight . The odoriserous Mint , the Eglantine , The Woodbine , Primrose , and the Cowslip fine . The Honisuckle , and the Daffadill , The fragrant Time , delights the Begger still . He may plucke Violets in any place And Rue , but very seldome hearbe of Grace : Hearts-ease he hath and Loue and Idle both , It in his bones hath a continuall growth . His Drinke he neuer doth goe farre to looke , Each Spring 's his Host , his Hostesse is each Brooke : Where he may quaffe and too 't againe by fits , And neuer stand in feare to hurt his wits , For why that Ale , is Grandam Natures brewing , And very seldome sets her Guests a spewing ; Vnmixt , and vnsophisticated drinke , That neuer makes men stagger , reele and winke . Besides a begger hath this pleasure more , He neuer payes , or neuer goes on score : But let him drinke and quaffe both night and day , Ther 's neither Chalke , nor Post , or ought to pay . But after all this single-soal'd small Ale , I thinke it best to tell a merry tale : There was a Rich hard miserable Lord , That kept a knauish Foole at bed and boord , ( As Great men oft affected haue such Elues . And lou'd a Foole , as they haue lou'd themselues . ) But Nature to this Foole such vertue gaue , Two simples in one Compound , Foole and Knaue . This Noble Lord , Ignobly did oppresse His Tenants , raising Rents to such excesse : That they their states not able to maintaine , They turn'd starke beggers in a yeare or twaine . Yet though this Lord were too too miserable , He in his House kept a well furnish'd Table : Great store of Beggers dayly at his Gate , Which he did feed , and much Compassionate . ( For 't is within the power of mighty men To make fiue hundred Beggers , and feed Ten. At last , vpon a time the Lord and 's Foole , Walk'd after Dinner their hot bloods to coole , And seeing three or foure score Beggers stand To seeke Reliefe from his hard Clutched hand , The Nobleman thus spake his Foole vnto , Quoth he , what shall I with these Beggers doe ? Since ( quoth the Foole ) you for my Iudgement call , I thinke it best we straight wayes hang them all . That were great pitty , then the Lord reply'd For them and me our Sauiour equall dy'd : Th' are Christians ( although beggers ) therefore yet Hanging 's vncharitable , and vnsit . Tush ( said the Foole ) they are but beggers thoe , And thou canst spare them , therefore let them goe : If thou wilt doe , as thou hast done before , Thou canst in one yeare make as many more . And he that can picke nothing from this tale , Then let him with the begger drinke small Ale. Thus is a Begger a strange kinde of creature , And begg'ry is an Art that liues by Nature : For he neglects all Trades , all Occupations , All functions , Mysteries , Artes , and Corporations . Hee 's his owne Law , and doth euen what he lift . And is a persit right Gimnosophist . A Phylosophicall Pithagoras , That without care his life away doth passe . A Lawyer must for what he gets take paines , And study night and day , and toyle his braines , With diligence to sift out Right from Wrong , Writes , trauels , pleades , with hands , and feet , and tong . And for to end Debate , doth oft debate With Rhetoricke , and Logicke Intricate : And after all his trauell and his toyle , If that part which he pleads for get the foyle , The Clyent blames the Lawyer , and the Lawes , And neuer mindes the badnes of his Cause . T is better with a Begger that is Dumbe , Whose tongue-lesse mouth doth onely vtter mum : In study , and in care , no time he spends , And hath his busines at his finger ends . And with dumbe Rhetoricke , and with Logicke mute , Liues and gaines more , then many that Dispute . If case a Begger be olde , weake or Ill , It makes his gaines , and commings in more still ; When beggers that are strong , are paide with mocks , Or threatned with the Cage , the Whip , or Stocks . Hee 's better borne then any Prince or Peere , In 's Mothers wombe three quarters of a yeare : And when his birth hath made her belly slacke , Shee foure or fiue yeares beares him at her backe , He liues as if it were Grim Saturnes Raigne , Or as the Golden age were come againe . Moreouer many vertues doe attend On Beggers , and on them doe they depend : Humility's a Vertue , and they are In signe of Humblenes , continuall bare : And Patience is a vertue of great worth , Which any begger much expresseth forth , I saw a Begger Rayl'd at , yet stood mute , Before a Beadle , of but base Repute . For Fortitude a begger doth excell , There 's nothing can his valiant courage quell : Nor heate or colde , thirst , hunger , Famines rage , He dares out-dare Stocks , whipping-posts , or Cage . Hee 's of the greatest Temperance vnder heauen , And ( for the most part ) seeds on what is giuen . He waytes vpon a Lady , of high price , Whose birth-place was Coelestiall paradice . One of the Graces , a most heauenly Dame , And Charity 's her all admired Name : Her hand 's ne're shut , her glory is in giuing , On her the Begger waytes , and gets his liuing . His State 's more ancient then a Gentleman , It from the Elder brother ( Caine ) began : Of Runagates and vagabonds hee was The first that wandring o're the earth did passe . But what 's a Vagabond and a Runagate ? True Annagramatiz'd I will relate : RVNAGATE , Annagram , AGRANTE . VAGABONDE , Annagram , GAVE A BOND . And many well borne Gallants , mad and fond , Haue with a Graunt so often Gaue a Bond. And wrap'd their states so in a Parchment skin , They Vagabonds and Runagates haue bin . A begger 's nob'ly borne , all men will yeeld , His getting , and his birth b'ing in the field : And all the world knowes 't is no idle fable , To say and sweare the field is honourable . A begger is most courteous when he begges , And hath an excellent skill in making legges : But if he could make Armes but halfe so well , For Herauldry his cunning would excell . A begger in great safety doth remaine , He 's out of danger to be rob'd or slaine : In feare and perill he is neuer put , And ( for his wealth ) no thiefe his throat will cut . He 's farre more bountifull then is Lord , A world of hangers on at bed and boord : Which he doth lodge , and daily cloath and feed , Them and their Issue , that encrease and breed ; For 't is disparagement , and open wrong , To say a begger 's not a thousand strong : Yet haue I seene a begger with his Many , Come in at a Play-house , all in for one penny . And though of creatures Lice are almost least , Yet is a Lowse a very valiant beast . But did not strength vnto her courage want , She would kill Lyon , Beare , or Elephant . What is it that she can but she dares do , She 'le combate with a King , and stand to 't to : She 's not a starter like the dust-bred-Flea , She 's a great trauailer by land and sea , And dares take any Lady by the Rea. She neuer from a battell yet did flye , For with a Souldier she will line and dye . And sure ( I thinke ) I said not much amis , To say a Lowse her selfe a souldier is . An Hoast of Lice did to submission bring Hard-harted Pharoh the Egyptian King. But when these cruell creatures doe want meate , Mans flesh and blood like Canibals they eate . They are vnto the begger Natures gifts , Who very seldome puts them to their shifts . These are his Guard , which will not him forsake , Till Death course doth of his carkasse make . A begger liues here in this vale of sorrow , And trauels here to day , and there tomorrow . The next day being neither here , nor there : But almost no where , and yet euery where . He neuer labours , yet he doth expresse Himselfe an enemie to Idlenesse . In Court , Campe , Citie , Countrey , in the Ocean A begger is a right : perpetuall motion , His great deuotion is in generall , He either prayes for all , or preyes on all . And it is vniuersally profest , From South to North , from East vnto the West . On his owne merits he will not relie , By others mens good works he 'le line and die . That begg'ry is most nat'rall all men know , Our naked comming to the world doth show : Not worth a simple rotten ragge , or clout , Our seely earkasses to wrap about . That it will is , and hath perpetuall bin , All goe as naked out , as they came in , We leaue our cloathes , which were our couers here , For Beggers that come after vs to weare . Thus all the world in generall beggers are , And all alike comes in , and goes out bare . And who so liues here in the best degree , Must ( euery day ) a daily begger bee : And when his life hath runne vnto his date , He dies a begger , or a reprobate . ( Good Reader , pray misconster not this case , I meane no profanation in this place ) Then since these vertues waite on beggery , As milde Humility , and Charity , With Patience , Fortitude , and Courtesie , And Temp'rance , Honour , Health , Frugality , Security , Vniuersality , Necessity , and Perpetuity , And since heau'n sends the Subiect and the Prince All Beggers hither , and no better hence , Since begg'ry is our portion , and our lot , Our Patrimony , birth-right , and what not : Let vs pursue our function , let vs do That ( which by nature ) we were borne vnto . And whil'st my Muse a little doth repose , I 'le Character a Begger out in prose . Now it followes , that I shew some part of their formes , cariage , manners , and behauiour , their seuerall Garbs , tones , and salutations that they acost their Clyents or Benefactours withall , for they can wisely , and discreetely suite their Phrase and language , to bee correspondent to their owne shape , and suteable to whomsoeuer they begge of , as for example suppose a Begger hee in the shape or forme of a maundering , or wandering Souldier , with one arme , leg or eye , or some such maim ; then imagine that there passeth by him some Lord , Knigt , or scarce a Gentleman , it makes no matter which , then his Honour or his Worship shall be affronted in this manner : Braue man of Honour , cast a fauourable looke vpon the wounded estate of a distressed Gentleman , that hath borne Armes for his Countrey in the hottest broyles of the Netherlāds , with the losse of his members ; Cleueland hath felt my strength ; I haue bickered with the French , at Brest & Deep ; I haue past the Straights , the dangerous Gulph : the Groyne can speake my seruice ( Right Honorable ) with no lesse then two dangerous hurts hardly brought off from Bummil Leaguer , which I would vnwillinly discouer to your manliness , whose beliefe shall be therein as much auailable as eye sight . Fortune hath onely left me a tongue to bemone my losses , and one eye to be witnesse of your noble bountie ; I would be loth to weary your Lordship with the relations of my trauels , to whom the storie of these warres are as familiar as to my self ; your worthy liberalitie is the spurre to valour , and the sauegard of his country ; and in your honorable memorie my tong shall supplys the defects of my limbes , and proclaime your merit through the 17 Prouinces , whither your bountie shall beare this witherd bodie , to interre it with the bloud which I left there as a pledge of my returne . This is the martiall or decaied military kind of begging ; which if he speed , then he can fit himselfe with a prayer accordingly , for the prosperitie of his liberall benefactor , as thus : Peace be to thy loines ( Right honourable ) and plentie at thy board , oppression in the country , and extortion in the citie , embroder thy carkas , and keepe thy Concubine constant , that Taylers may sue to thee for worke , more then for paiment , and Sericants may stand and gaze at thy faire progresse by the Compters , whist thy coach mares shall whurrie thee free from Attachments . Then ( after a scrub or shrug ) you must conceiue that he meetes with a Lawyer , and fitting his phrase to his language , he assaults him thus , and ioynes issue . Humbly sheweth to your good Worship , your poore suppliant hauing aduanced his bill in the late warres of Sweaden Copenhage , and Stock Holland ; after Replications in particular , and Reiovnders drawne , with bloudy pens and dreadfull characters , your petitioner ioyned issue in that fearfull day of hearing , at the grand castle of Smolesco , where he came off with the losse of his inheritance , hauing the euidence of his limbes violently rent from him , to make open passage to the beneuolent charitie of such of such pious persons as is your good worship ; for you are the true souldiers of the country , whose warres concerne the domestique peace of our nation , as such as my selfe doth the forreine . My breeding was Gentle , Sir , and my birth English , a younger brother , driuen to my shifts , to auoide the soule accidents of home-bred miseries ; I measured forrein paces , and was deliuerd abroad of my breeding at home , in which estate the hand of your bountie must support me , or else calamitie will crawle euer me , which hath no Surgeon but the gallowes , to which I hope the Law will not deliuer me , seeing it carries so faire a face as the reuerend aspect of your maisterships countenance . By this time you must suppose that his bount being awak'd he giues him somewhat ; when with a correspondent prayer he thus takes his benevale . May the Termes be euerlasting to thee , thou man of tong , and may contentions grow and multiply , may Actions beget Actions , and Cases engender Cases as thicke as hops , may euery day of the yeare be a Shroue tuesday ; let Proclamations forbid fighting , to increase actions of battry , that thy Cassock may be three pilde , and the welts of thy gowne may not grow thread bare . Perhaps he meetes with some countrey Farmer , or some honest Russet home-spun plaine-dealing plowiogger , whom he assaults with a volley of lyes and brauadoes , in maner and forme following . You shall do well to take notice ( countryman and friend ) that I am a souldier and a gentleman , who hauing bin made Fortunes tennis ball , was lately cast vpon these coasts of my country by the mercilesse crueltie of the raging tempestuous seas , where I haue bin in that distresse that the whole Christian world durst not so much as looke on : mine Armes hath bin feared by all the enemies that euer beheld them aduanc'd , and my command hath bin dreadfull through Europe , Asia , Africa and America , from the Suns Easterne rising to his Westerne declination . I was the first man that entred ( despight the mouth of the cannon ) into the famous city of Portrega , a citie fiue times greater then Constantinople , where the great Turke then kept his Seraglio , Basha Caphy , Basha Indae , and Mustapha Despot of Seruia being my prisoners , whose ransomes yeelded my sword three millions of Hungarian duckets ; with which returning , thinking to make thee and the rest of my nation rich , the ship which transported me ( being ouerladen ) tooke such a leake that she sunke , not a mortall eye being able to see one pennie of that vncountable treasure , my selfe ( as you see preserued ) a miserable spectacle of vnfortunate chance , for getting astride vpon a demyculuering of brasse , I was weather-beaten three leagues ; on shore , as you see , an ominous map of manquelling calamitie , to the reliefe whereof , my fellow and friend , ( for so my now pouertie makes me vouchsafe to call thee ) I must intreat thy manhood , by offering a parcell of thy substance ; make no delayes , Sir , for I would be loth to exercise my valour on thee , and make thee the first Christian that should feele the impregnable strength and vigour of my victorious arm , which hath done to death so many Turkes , Pagans and Infidels as cannot truly be numbred . After all this superfluous fustian , the poore man vnwillingly drawes and giues him some small mite , more for feare or lying , then either for loue or charitie . His fury being abated , he takes his leaue thus : Faire be thy Haruest , and foule thy winter , that plentie may fil thy barnes , and feare of scarcitie raise thy price , may thy Landlord liue vnmarried , that thy fine may not be raisde , to buy thy new Landladie a French petlicoate or a new Blocke Beauer , nor thy rents raisde to keepe her tire in fashion . INuention many thousand waies could go , To shew their variations to and fro : For as vpon the soule of man attends , The world , the flesh , the diuell , ( three wicked friends ) So likewise hath a begger other three , With whom his humour neuer could agree . A Iustice , to the world he doth compare , And for his flesh , a Beadle is a snare : But he that he of all accounts most euill , He thinks a Constable to be the deuill . And 't is as easie for him as to drinke , To blind the world , and make a Iustice winke : The Beadle ( for the flesh ) ' is little paine , Which smart he can recouer soone againe . But yet the Diuells ( the Constable ) a spirit , From hole to hole that hunts him like a ferrit , Both day and night he haunts him as a ghost , And of all furies he torments him most . All 's one for that , though some things fa'l out ill , A begger seldome rides vp Holborne hill : Nor is he taken with a theeuish trap , And made dispute with Doctors Stories * cap. A common theefe , for euery groute he gaines , His life doth venture , besides all his paines : For euery thing he eates , or drinkes , or weares , To lose his eares , or gaine a rope he feares . But for a begger , be it hee or shee , They are from all these choaking dangers free . And though ( for sinne ) when mankind first began , A curse was laid on all the race of man , That of his labours he should liue and eate , And get his bread by trauell and by sweate : But if that any from this curse be free , A begger must he be , and none but he . For euery foole most certainly doth know , A begger doth not dig , delue , plow , or sow : He neither harrowes , plants , lops , fels , nor rakes , Nor any way he paines or labour takes . Let swine be meazeld , let sheepe die and rot , Let moraine kill the cattell , he cares not : He will not worke and sweat , and yet hee 'l feed , And each mans labour must supply his need . Thus without paines of care , his life hee 'l spend , And liues vntill he dies , and there 's an end . But I this reekning do of beggry make , That it much better is to giue then take : Yet if my substance will not serue to giue , Lie ( of my betters ) take , with thankes , and liue . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13487-e90 A Gleek . Notes for div A13487-e320 Antiquity of Beggers . Vniuersality . Earth . Ayre . Water . Fire . If these elements could bee bought and solde , the poore beggers should haue small roome for birth , life , or buriall . Wit , wisedom , wealth , and conscience , are not vsually heredetary , or in one man. The barrennesse of Parnassus . The pouerty or beggery of the Muses . * Virgill , hee was borne in a ditch , and afterward being in Rome in seruice with Augustus Caesar , to whom hee many times gaue learned verses , and the Emperour alwayes rewarded him with bread . A Lowse the ground of the first Hexameters . * Parnassus . * Chris. Marlo . A Begger neuer growes mad with too much study . Dumbe Rhetorick moues Charity . The weake Begger haue a great aduantage over the strong . Beggers ( for th' most part well borne . Virtues that Beggers haue Humility . Patience . Fortitude . Temperance . It waytes on Charity a worthy bountiful Mistres . Antiquity . Beggery descended from Caine , who was the first man that euer was borne , & heire apparant to the whole world . Honour Curtesie . Security . Bounty . Power . Frugality . A Begger is no shifting fellow . True friendship Beggers are trauellers . He is seldom idle , though hee neuer works . Deuotion . Vniuersality . He is a louer of good works . Peggery is naturall , and generall to all the world . Beggery is perpetual . The generality of beggerie . It is most necessary for euery one to liue and dye a Begger . A Iustice of peace is as the world to a begger , a Beadle as the flesh , and a Constable as the diveil . A Iustice will wink or conniue at a beggers faults often , partly for pity , & partly to a cold trouble A whipping wil be looue cured . A Constable in a Bugbeare to a begger . * Sybutae 
A13493	----	The sculler rowing from Tiber to Thames with his boate laden with a hotch-potch, or gallimawfry of sonnets, satyres, and epigrams. With an addition of pastorall equiuocques or the complaint of a shepheard. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1612 Approx. 85 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 25 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13493 STC 23791 ESTC S118270 99853477 99853477 18860 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13493) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18860) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:20) The sculler rowing from Tiber to Thames with his boate laden with a hotch-potch, or gallimawfry of sonnets, satyres, and epigrams. With an addition of pastorall equiuocques or the complaint of a shepheard. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [48] p. By E[dward] A[llde] & are to be solde [by Nathaniel Butter] at the Pide-bull neere St. Austins gate, Printed at London : 1612. In verse. With a title-page woodcut. Printer's and bookseller's names from STC. Signatures: A-F⁴. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-09 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-06 Kirk Davis Sampled and proofread 2002-06 Kirk Davis Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-07 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE SCVLLER , Rowing from TIBER to THAMES with his Boate laden with a hotch-potch , or Gallimawfry of Sonnets , Satyres , and Epigrams . With an addition of Pastorall Equiuocques or the complaint of a Shepheard . By IOHN TAYLOR . Sum primus homo , Vis ire mecum Remis ? Est mihi proxima ● imbe . Read , and then iudge . Printed at London by E. A. & are to be solde at the Pide-bull neere St. Austins gate . 1612. TO THE RIGHT WORshipfull and worthy fauourer of learning , my singular good Maister , Sir WILLIAM WAAD Knight , Liefetenant of his M ties Tower of London , your poore seruant Iohn Taylor , consecrates this his first Inuentions : wishing You , and Yours , all happines temporall and eternall . S Such is the course of this inconstant life , I In which we mortall creatures draw our breath : R Reason is ruld by Rage , and Peace by Strife , W Wit is a slaue to Will , and Life to Death . I I in these fickle , fleeting , fading times , L Liue and enioy the bounty of your fauors , L Let me I pray' , and my vnworthy rimes , I Intreat your kinde protection of my labors . A As in a storme the Sheepe to shelters runne , M My Muse vnto your Patronage doth flie , W Whereas she hopes all Enuies stormes to shunne , A And liue despight of scandals callumnie . A All my endeauours then shall me perswade , D Dreadles that I through greater streames will wade . Your humble seruant most obesequious IOHN TAYLOR . To the right worshipfull and my euer respected , Mr. IOHN MORAY Esquire . OF all the wonders this vile world includes , I muse how 〈◊〉 such high fauors gaine ! How adulation cunningly deludes Both high and lowe , from Scepter to the Swayne : But yet if thou by flattry couldst obtaine More then the most that is possest by men , Thou canst not tune thy tongue to falshoods straine , Yet with the best canst vse both tongue and pen. Thy sacred learning can both scan and ken The hidden things of Nature , and of Art , T is thou hast raisd me from obliuions den , And made my Muse from obscure sleepe to start . Vnto thy wisdomes censure I commit , This first borne issue of my worthles wit. I T. To my deere respected friend Mr. Beniamin Iohnson . THou canst not dye , for though the stroake of death Depriues the world of thy worst earthly part : Yet when thy corps hath banished thy breath , Thy liuing Muse shall still declare thy Art. The fatall Sisters and the blessed Graces , Were all thy friends at thy natiuity : And in thy minde the Muses tooke their places , Adoring thee with rare capacitie . And all the Worthies of this worthy land , Admires thy wondrous all admired worth , Then how should I that cannot vnderstand Thy worth , thy worthy worthinesse set forth . Yet beare the boldnesse of the honest Sculler , Whose worthlesse praise can fill thy praise no fuller . I. T. To my louing friend IOHN TAYLOR . COuld my vnpractisd Pen aduance thy name , Thou shouldst be seated on the wings of Fame . For from thy toylesome Oare I wonder I , How thy inuention flowes so iocundly ! Not hauing dreamd on faire Pernassus Hill , With fruitfull numbers to inrich thy Quill . Nor hauing washt in that Pegassion Fount , Which lends the wits such nimblenes to mount , VVith tickling rapture , on poetique straines , On Thames the Muses floate that fills thy braines . Thy happy wit producde thy happy rimes , VVhich shall commend thee vnto after times . And worthily enrole thy name mongst those , VVhose Temples are begirt with Lawrell bowes . For , ( sooth to say ) a worke I saw not yet , Lesse helpt with learning and more grac'd with wit. Then spight of Enuy , and Detractions scorne , Though Art thou wantst , thou art a Poet borne : And as a friend for names sake , I le say thus , Nec scombros metuentia , Carmina nec Thus. Henry Taylor . To the one and onely water-Poet and my friend Iohn Taylor . FResh water Soldiers saile in shallow streames , And mile-end Captaines venture not their liues : A braine distempred brings forth idle dreames , And guilded Sheathes haue sildome golden Kniues . And painted faces none but fooles bewitch : Thy Muse is plaine ; but witty , faire , and rich . When thou didst first to Agganippe floate , Without thy knowledge ( as I surely thinke ) The Nayades did swim about thy boate And brought thee brauely , to the Muses brinke . 〈◊〉 Grace , and Nature filling vp thy Fountaine , Thy muse came flowing from Pernassus Mountaine . So long may flowe as is to thee most fit , The boundles Ocean , of a Poets wit. I P. In laudem Authoris . VVIt , Reason Grace , Religion , Nature , Zeale . Wrought all together in thy working braine . And to thy worke did set this certaine 〈◊〉 , Pure is the cullor that will take no staine . What need I praise , the worke it selfe doth praise : In words , in worth , in forme , and matter to , A world of wits are working many waies , But few haue done , that thou dost truly doe : Was neuer Taylor shapt so fit a Coate , Vnto the corps of any earthly creature , As thou 〈◊〉 made for that foule Romish Goate , In true discription of his deuillish nature . Besides , such matter of iudicious wit , With queint 〈◊〉 so fitting euery fancy , As well may proue , who scornes and spights atit , Shall either shew their folly or their franzie . Then let the Popes Bulls roare , bell , booke and candle , In all the Deuills circuit sound thy curse : Whilst thou with truth dost euery try all handle , God blesse thy worke and thou art nere the worse . And while Hells friends their 〈◊〉 foe doe proue thee The Saints on earth , and God in heauen will loue thee . Thy louing friend Nicholas Bretton . VVHen Tybers siluer waues their Chanell leaue , And louely Thames , hir wonted course for sake , Then foule obliuion shall thy name bereaue , Drenching thy glory in her hell-bred lake , But till that time this scourge of Popery : Shall Crowne thy fame with immortallity . Thy friend assured Maximilian Waad . To my louing friend Iohn Taylor . FErris gaue cause of vulgar wonderment , When vnto Bristow in a Boate he went : Another with his Sculler ventered more , That Row'd to Flushing from our English 〈◊〉 . Another did deuise a woodden Whale , Which vnto Callice , did from Douer saile , Another , with his Oares and slender Wherry , From London vnto Antwerpe o're did ferry . Another , maugre fickle fortunes teeth , Rowed hence to Scotland , and ariu'd at Leeth . But thou hast made all these but triuiall things , That from the Tower thy watry Sculler brings To Hellicon : most sacred in account , And so arriued at Pernassus Mount : And backe returndladen with Poets wit , With all the muses hands to witnesse it : Who on their Sculler doth this praise bestowe , Not such another on the Thames doth rowe . Thy louing friend SAMVEL ROWLANDS . To my friend both by water and land IOHN TAYLOR . OFt hast thou traueld for me at thy Oare , But neuer in this kind did'st toyle before . To turne a Poet in this peeuish tyme , Is held as rare as I should write in rime , For one of thy profession , yet thy Art , Surpasseth mine : this serues to paint that part , I meane thy Poetry which in thee lurkes , And not thy sweating skill in water workes . I cannot but commend thy Booke , and say Thou merritst more then common Scullers pay : Then whistle off thy Muse , and giue her scope . That she may soundly cease vpon the Pope : For well I see that he and many more , Are dar'de by her ( which scarce was done before ) Proceed ( good Iohn ) and when th' ast done this worke , Feare not to venter trussing of the Turke . I like thy vaine , I loue thee for those gifts Of Nature in thee , far aboue the shifts That others seeke plodding for what they pen , Wit workes in thee , Learning in other men , Thou natiue language we haue done thee wrong , To say th' art not compleat , wanting the tongue Cald Latine , for heere 's one shall end the strife , That neuer learned Latine word in 's life . Then to conclude , I truly must confesse , Many haue more bene taught , hut learned lesse . Thy assured friend R. B. To my louing friend IOHN TAYLOR . SOme say kinde Iacke thou art a Poet borne , And none by Art ; which thou maist iustly scorne : For if without thy name they had but seene Thy lines , thy lines had artificiall beene . Opinion carries with it such a curse , Although thy name makes not thy verse the worse . If then this worke , variety affords Of Tropes , of Figures , Epethets and words , With no harsh accent , and with iudgement too , I pray what more can Art or Nature doo ? So that in thee thy Genius doth impart , To Artificiall Nature , Naturall Art. Thy old assured friend IO. MORAY . Prologue to the READER . GOod gentle Reader , if I doe transgresse , I know you know , that I did ne're professe , Vntill this time in Print to be a Poet : And now to exercise my wits I show it . View but the intralls of this little Booke , And thou wilt say that I some paines haue tooke : Paines mixt with pleasure , pleasure ioynd with paine , Produc'd this issue of my laboring braine . But now me thinkes I heare some enuious throat , Say I should deale no further then my Boat : And ply my Fare , and leaue my Epigram , Minding , ne sutor vltra 〈◊〉 . To such I answere , Fortune giues her gifts , Some downe she throwes , & some to honor lifts : Mongst whome from me , she hath with held her store And giues me leaue to sweat it at my Oare , And though with labour I my liuing purse , Yet doe I thinke my lines no iot the worse : For gold is gold , though buried vnder mosse , And drosse in golden vessels is but drosse . Iohn Taylor . TO TOM CORIET . VVHat matters for the place I first came from , I am no Duncecomb , Coxecombe , Odcombe Tom Nor am I like a Wooll-packe , cramd with Greeke , Venus in Venice minded to goe seeke : And at my backe returne to write a volume , In memory of my wits Gargantua Colume . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 wits would 〈◊〉 so adore me , Nor like so many 〈◊〉 runne before me : But honest Tom , I enuy not thy state , There 's nothing in thee worthy of my hate : Yet I confesse thou hast an exeellent wit : But that an idle braine doth harbor it . Foole thou it at the Court , I on the Thames , So farwell Odcomb Tom , God blesse King Iames. The Author in his owne defence . THere is a crew of euer carping spirits , Who merrit nothing good , yet hate good merits : 〈◊〉 wrings his Iawes awry , and then cries mew , And that I stole my lines 〈◊〉 plainely shew . Thou addle headed Asse , thy braines are muddy , Thy witles wit , vncapable of studdy , Deemst each inuention barren like to thine , And what thou canst not mend thou wilt repine . Loe thus to wauering Censures torturing Racke , With truth and confidence my Muse doth packe . Let Zoylus and let Momus doe their worst , Let Enuy and Detraction swell and burst : In spight of spight , and 〈◊〉 disdaine , In 〈◊〉 of any carping Critticks braine , Like to a Poast I le runne through thicke and thin , To scourge iniquity and spurreg all sin . You worthy fauorites of wisdomes lore , Onely your fouors doth my Muse implore : If your good stomackes these harsh lines disgest , I careles bid a rush for all the rest . My lines first parents ( be they good or ill ) Was my vnlearned braine , and barren quill . To the whole kennell of Anti-Christs hounds , Priests , friers , monks , and Iesuits , mastiffs , mongrells , Islands , Spanniells , blood-hounds , bobtailetike , or foysting-hound : the Sculler sends greeting . Epigram 1. CVrse , exorcize , with beads , with booke , & bell Poluted shauelings : rage and doe your worst : Vse coniurations till your bellies burst , With many a Nigromanticke mumbling spell , I feare you not , nor all your friends that fell With Lucifer : ye damned dogs that durst Deuise that thundring treason most accurst , Whose like before was neuer hatchd in hell : Halfe men , halfe deuils , who neuer dreamd of good , To you from faire and sweetly sliding Thames , A popomasticke Sculler war proclaimes , As to the suckers of imperiall blood . An Anti-Iesuit Sculler with his pen , Defies your Babell Beast , and all his den . I. T. Epigram 2. ROome , now approaches thy 〈◊〉 , Thy Anti-Christian Kingdome downe must tumble , Like Nimrods proud cloud-pearcing Babilon , Thy hell-hatchd pride , despight thy heart must humble . In scorne of dambd equiuocation , My lines like thunder through thy Regions rumble . Downe in the dust must lye thy painted glory , For now Irowe and write thy tragicke story . Epigram 3. VVHen God had all things out of nothing fram'd , And man had named all things that are nam'd : God shewed to man the way he should behaue him , What ill would dam him , or what good would saue him . All Creatures that the world did then containe , Were all made subiects to mans Lordly raigne . Faire Paradice was princely ADAMS walke , Where God himselfe did often with him talke : At which the Angels , enuious and proud , Striu'd to ascend aboue the highest 〈◊〉 : And with the mighty God to make compare , And of his glory to haue greatest share : Because they saw Gods loue to man so great , They striud to throw their maker from his seat . But he , whose power is All-sufficient , Did headlong hurle them from Heauens battlement : And for with enuious pride they so did swell , They lost Heauens glory for the paines of Hell. In all this time man liuing at his ease , His wife nor he not knowing to displease Their glorious maker , till the sonne of night Full fraught with rage , and poyson bursting spight , Finding alone , our antient Grandam EVE , With false perswasions makes her to beleeue , If she would eat the fruit she was forbidden , She should Gods secrets know , were from her hidden . Supposing all was true , the Serpent told , They both to ADAM straightway did vnfold , This treacherous horrid vile soule-killing treason , And he ambitious , past the bounds of reason , ( To his posterities sole detriment ) Doth to the Woman and the Fiend consent . Yet Adam neuer had the Deuill obayd , Had he not had the woman for his ayd . Loe thus the sex that God made , man to cherish , Was by the Deuill intic'te to cause him perish . Sathan supposing he had wonne the field , ( In making man to his obedience yeeld ) Poore Adam now in corps and minde deiected , From head to foote with shamefull sinne infected : Is now a slaue to sinne , the Deuill , and death , Dreading the danger of th' almighties wrath . From Eden banisht , from Gods presence thrust , And all the earth being for his crime accurst : Opprest with griefe and selfe consuming care , 〈◊〉 at the brim of bottomeles dispaire . Yet God in mercy thinking of his frailty , Though sinnefull man to him had broken fealty ; Did promise he would send his onely Sonne , To satisfy for faults by man misdone . At last he came , in his appoynted time , And on his faultles shoulders tooke our crime : And like a malefactor death he fusferd , And once for all , himselfe himselfe hath offerd . And yet the Deuill will not be satisfide , ( Although the Sonne of God for sinners dide ) But dayly hellish damned enterprises , His ministers and he gainst man deuises , Vnder the shelter of Religions cloake , Seditiously he doth the world prouoke , Gainst God in traytrous maner to rebell , To amplifie his euerlasting hell , Attempting mankinde still by fraud or forcc , His soule from his redeemer to diuorce : And yet not man alone must feele his sting , But he dares venter on our heauenly King , Whose power , though Sathan knowes is euerlasting , Yet after forty dayes and nights long fasting , Thinking him weake , attempts now to inuade him , And with illusions seeking to perswade him : Carries our Sauiour vp vnto a hill , And told him if he would obey his will , In adoration to fall downe before him , He of this worlds great glory would so store him , That he should Lord and Master be of all , If he in reuerence would before him fall . Christ knowing him to be the roote of euill , With God-like power commaunds , auoyd thou deuill : T is writ , thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God , But serue and feare the fury of his rod. Sathan perceiuing all his labour lost , Runnes through the world more swifter then a post : Proclaimes large kingdomes , and a tryple Crowne , To him that in his reuerence would fall downe . Ambitious thirst of sickle fading fame , Did quickely mindes of worldly men inflame : Making them dreame on pleasures transitory , And to esteeme earths pompe aboue heauens glory . This made the Pope , with poysnous pride infusde , T accept those honors Christ before refusde : Now hath he wonne great fame , on this condition , That fore the deuill he fall in base submission : So hauing won this great magnificence , To countermaund the earths circumference : The Idiot World he proudly ouer-swayes , Vnder the name of heauens immortall Kayes , Ore all the Globe he raignes as Lord & King , And to Hells Goate-folde aye doth millions bring Of soules , seduc'd with buzard blinded zeale , From men besotted he doth honor steale . And yet with his effrontit shamles face , Seemes to commaund the Deuill that gaue him place . A haynous fault in my dull vnderstanding , The seruant o're his Lord should be commanding : But yet I thinke t is but for pollicy , More to 〈◊〉 th' infernall monarchy : He seemes to hate the Deuill , he most doth serue , Else would the world from Romes obedience swerue , And leaue the Pope and papists in the lurch , And then might Sathan whistle for a Church . The I le of Brittaine hath perceiu'd their tricks , And in rebellion gainst the Pope she kicks : For whome they haue inuented hell-hatcht plots , Quite to extirp the English and the Scots . I wot not which of Rome or hell roard lowder , But they had like t' haue peperd vs with powder . Yea all estates from Scepter to the Clowne Should topsie turuy all be tumbled downe . Without respect of person , sex , or age , All had their doome , t' abide the Romane rage . But he that by his sacred selfe had sworne , To guard his Church , did laugh them all to scorne : For when those vassels of eternall night , Thought all secure , then God brought all to light , Casting their painted glory in the dust , That any power besides his power doth trust : Leauing their Corps a prey for Crowes and Kites , That brauely so for Signior Sathan fights . But in this matter I le no longer trauell , Least want of water make my Ship to grauell : Knowing theres many wits of farre more worth , That to the life hath limd this treason forth : But I le conclude as I hegan before , Because that Christ would not the Deuill adore , Christ lost this glorious worldly pompous raigne , Which happy losse the haples Pope did gaine . Epigram 4. HOw weakely is that weake Religion grounded , That thinks the Church on Peters corps is sounded ? The spouse of Christ is built on faiths firme rocke , Which not the fury of hells direfull shock , Though all the fiends in troopes doe her assaile , Yet gainst Gods power their force cannot preuaile . Peters confessing Christ Gods true begotten , Is sure the Churches ground , but Peter's rotten . Or else if Peter neuer had had life , Through want of him Christ neuer had had wife . For t is an Article of faith profound , To know St. Peter for the Churches ground . And who denies it shall haue fire and rope , Beleeue me Reader or goe aske the Pope . But yet I muse in what place of this earth , Gods Church did stand before Saint Peters birth ? Epigram 5. WHen as our Sauiour to the Temple went , To tell the message that his father sent : And finding there a rude vnruly tout , That bought and sold : he angry , beat them out , And ouerthrew their tressels and their tables , And made them packe away with all their bables : And further sayd ( what all true hearts beleeues ) This house was made for prayer , no den for theeues . Those marchants thus whipt from their market place , Practisd reuenge gainst Christ for this disgrace . And more , to strength their power , ioynd with the Pop. Who by his lawles lawes hath giuen them scope , That in the Church they still should buy and sell Both God and deuill , Heauen , Purgatory , Hell. Now heere 's the ods , Christ out the Pediars thrust , And stayd himselfe there , preaching what was iust . And for reuenge the hawty Romane Priest , Hath tane the Pedlars in , and thrust out Christ. Epigram 6. IT is a question farre beyond my Logick , How those that haue the Popedome won by Magick , Can be Liefetenants vnto Christ our Sauiour , Being knowne for hell-hounds of most dambd behauiour Then since the deuill hath the Pope created , His Vicar must he be that there him seated : T would make a wiser head then mine to muse , That God should like the man the Deuill doth chuse . Epigram 7. A Prouerb old , where had the Deuill the Fryer ? Where had the Deuill the Frier but where he was ? The Deuill with the Frier , sits in the quire , The Fryer with the Deuill sayes and sings Masse : The Deuill and the Frier are nere asunder , The Fryer to hate the Deuill is more then wonder . Epigram 8. COnferring with a Romish Pharisie , Who voyd of grace 〈◊〉 this heresy , That he the law of God had neuer broken , Nor neuer ill had done , nor ill had spoken . I gaue his Antichristian faith the lye , And told him that for him Christ did not dye . For he did suffer onely for their sinne , Who were insnared in the deuills Iynne . And as for him that neuer had transgrest , T were good to hang him now hee 's at the best . Epigram 9. IT is an Art beyond the worke of Nature , The Pope should be Creator , and a creature : Betwixt the Pope and God there 's one thing od , For though God all things made , the Pope makes God. Epigram 10 REligion's scatter'd into diuers sects , One likes one way for many sound respects , Others like that way , others like another , And what likes t'one , is loathed by the tother . Yet each man deemes his own opinions right , And each gainst other beares inated spight . Amongst the rest the Romane Catholike , Who scornes that his Religion sayle should strike To any , since from it two vertues springs , That they may eat their God , and kill their Kings : By which maine maximes they doe strongly hope , To the worlds Period to vphold the Pope . Epigram 11. IT is no wonder though Romes regall sway , Is by a Shepheard ruld with Lordly fame ; For antient records truly doth display ; How Romulus the Shepheard built the same : And how his brother Remus and himselfe , In Tybers ruthles waues , ydrencht and duckt , When infant misery was all their pelfe , A rauening wolfe , most mother-like they suckt : From whome doth spring as from a flowing gulfe , Romes Priest , and Prince , a Shepheard , and a Wolfe . Epigram 12. TVmulteous thoughts within my breast doth struggle , To thinke how finely popish Priests can iuggle : And make the world beleeue , a wafer Cake Is that Creator that did all things make : Or that the sinne-polluted bald-crownd Priest , With coniurations , can create his Christ , When our beliefe doth plainely testify , He sits at Gods right hand in maiesty , From whence in humane forme he will not come , Till quicke and dead shall all abide his dome , What fooles are they then thinkes the priest & Baker , With impious hands makes their immortall maker . Epigram 13. NOt all the sophistry of Aristotle , Cannot perswade me but the Pope did erre , When he and 's sonne mistooke the poysned bottle , 〈◊〉 error sure what euer they inferre . O' t had bene good then , both for him and 's heire , He had bene halterd fast in Peters Chayre . Epigram 14. THe warlike Emperors before Christ come , Subdude the world , both sea & land to Rome . Then afterwards the Heauens , their Bishops wonne , By preaching truly Gods immortall sonne . Heauen , Earth , and Sea , being taken in the prime , What rests now for the Popes this latter time ? Since of the heauens and earth they loose their part , They will haue hell despight the deuils hart . Epigram 15. CHrists Church in no wayes is the Church of Rome , For Paul sayes , in the latter times should come Apostats that the 〈◊〉 should quite for sake , That lyes and fables should Religion make : Affirming meats and matrimony euill , Which Paul doth call the doctrine of the deuill . Then since the Pope and all his shaueling rout , What Christ commaunds they wilfully thrust out , I with my betters must conclude this doome , The Deuils deere drab must be the Church of Rome . Epigram 16. O Yes , if any man would know a place , Where God himselfe hath neither power nor might , Where as th' almighty neuer shew'd his face : Where words , 〈◊〉 swords can neither talke nor fight , O such a placeles place is Purgatory , Created by the Pope without Gods leaue , To 〈◊〉 his Antichristian glory , And all the world with cunning to deceaue , Where as the Pope hangs , drawes , condemnes , & iudges , Commits , acquits , sets free , or casts in thrall , Whether he thousands sends , on heapes like drudges , For in this no place , he is all in all : And like a mighty three crownd priestly Prince , With threats and bans he so the world bewitches : In sending thither and recalling thence , He gaines himselfe the Deuill and all for ritches . Epigram 17. THe Pope hath charge of heauens immortall keyes , And triple-headed Cerberus obeyes , His triple Crowne , and who so ere he please , He 〈◊〉 to hell for paine , or heauen for ease . He can commaund the Angells and the Fiends , What pleases them for him or for his friends , Like as a dog doth feare a flitch of bacon , So his great name , Heauen , Earth , and Hell hath shaken . Epigram 18. VVHo dares affirme the Popes of Rome are Proud , Amongst the Heretickes himselfe must shroud : Or who dares say they 'r giuen to Auarice , In selling heauen and hell for summes of price ? Or who dares speake such words of trechery , To say the Pope is giuen to Letchery ? Or who is he , dares be so impious , To say his holynes is Enuious ? Or 〈◊〉 , for feare of euerlasting scath , Dares once accuse his holynes of Wrath ? Or who is he that dares once veresy , The Pope doth vse excessiue Gluttony ? Or who dares say that like a droane or moath , Like an vnpreaching Priest he liues by Sloath ? He that against him this dares iustifie , Is a plaine Protestant , and such am I. Epigram 19. MAy it be calld intollerable pride , For man to sit in the Almighties seate ? Or on mens shoulders pompously to ride , To terrifie the World with thundring threate ? To weare a three-pilde Crowne vpon his head ? To haue both Kings and Princes at his becke ? Whose Horse by mighty Potentates is 〈◊〉 , Who proudly footes vpon the Emperors necke ? If trickes like these for pride may be alloud , Then I conclude the Pope must needs be proud . Epigram 20. IF it be couetous for gripple gaine , To sell 〈◊〉 Heauens , the Earth , yea God himselfe , To dispossesse Kings from their lawfull raigne , To cram his coffers with vnlawfull pelfe . To pardon sinnes for money , more then pitty : Nay more , to pardon sinnes that are to come : To maintaine whores , & Stewes in Towne and Citty : Who yearely payes the Pope a countles sum , Who takes great interest , puts great sums to vse , T is couetousnes I thinke without excuse . Epigram 21. IS it not 〈◊〉 sensuall appetite , The 〈◊〉 to make a Strumpet of his Childe ? Or is not Letchery an Epithite , For him that hath his fathers bed defilde ? For him that hath deflourd Virginity ? That hath defilde the Damsell and the Dam 〈◊〉 respect of Consanginity ? That like a Wolfe hath spoyld both Ewe and Lamb ? This may be tearmd incestuous Luxury , And yet his Holynes not wrongd thereby . Epigram 22. HE like a God that gouernes in the world , That 〈◊〉 each mans honor but his owne : He that sedition through the earth hath hurld , Whose Enuie hath great Kingdomes ouer throwne . He that vngraues his foe that 's once intombd , For Enuy that he wrongd him whilst he liu'd , And after death is 〈◊〉 doombd , To be of liueles senceles 〈◊〉 depriu'd . If this be true none will deny I hope , That Enuy is ingrafted in the Pope . Epigram 23. HE whose fierce Wrath with bloody rage doth swell , That takes delight in slaughtring Gods elect : He that is sworne the Champion of Hell , That Wrath and Murder onely doth effect : He whose combustious all deuowring ire , Depopulates and layes whole Empires waste , Whose Wrath like a consuming quenchles fire , Hath blessed peace from Christendome displac'te , If I should need one , 〈◊〉 in wrath and murther , His Holynes commaunds me seeke no further . Epigram 24. WHo dares for Gluttony the Pope accuse , Or gainst voluptuous dyet make's complaints ? His Holynes so many Fasts doth vse , As 〈◊〉 , and fasting dayes , and Eeues of Saints . Yet where Pride , 〈◊〉 , and Auarice are found , Heart gnawing Enuy , and fell murdering Wrath , There rauenous Gluttony must needs abound , Else other vices will be out of breath . For Papists fasts are generally more deare , Then feasts of 〈◊〉 with all their cheare . Epigram 25. THose * Liberall Sciences , in number seauen , Began with Pride , and ends with drowsie Sloath ? Yet Christs commaund vnto th' Apostles giuen , Was * feede my Sheepe that faith in them haue growth . Now I suppose the feeding of Christs flocke , Is truly preaching of his facred word , Which word 's the Key that opes the heauenly Locke , Which * Sword and Word his Holynes doth hoord , Which drawn , cuts his throat and the Deuills both , For feare of which he lets it sleepe in sloath . The beliefe of a Romish Catholike . Epig. 26. I Doe beleeue the holy Pope of Rome , Is Lord of Scriptures , Fathers , Church and all : Of Counsells , of the world , whose dreadfull doome , Can at his pleasure make all rise , or fall . I doe beleeue though God 〈◊〉 the same , That I should worship Images , and Saints : I hope by mine owne workes I Heauen may claime , In tongues vnknowne , I must make prayers and plaints . I doe belieue Christs body made of bread , And may be eaten by Dogs , Cats , 〈◊〉 Mice , Yet is a sacrifice for quicke and dead , And may be bought and sold for rated price . I further doe beleeue the Pope our Lord , Can at his pleasure all my sinnes forgiue . I do beleeue at his commaunding word , Subiects must Kings of liues & lands depriue . Like as the Church belieues so I belieue : By which I hope the heauens I shall atchieue . Epigram 27. LIke as the Vipers birth 's his mothers bane , So the Popes Full , hath bene the Emperors Wane : The Empires Autumne was the popish Spring , And Kings subiection made the Pope a King. Then did his holines become a God , When Princes children like , gan feare his rod. Whilst earthly potentates their owne did hold The Popes then shepheard like did keep their fold . And fore the sacred truth should be orecome , They manfully would suffer martyrdome . But farwell Martyrs now , and welcome Miters , For paineful Preachers now , contentius fighters With blood or gold assends the papall chaire , Vnder the title of St. Peters heire . I thinke if truth were brought vnto a tryall , The Pope is heire to Peter in denyall . But want of penitence proclaimes him base , A Bastard , not of Peters blessed race , Vnles when Christ did call th'Apostle deuill , Hee 's bastard to the good , and heire to th' euill . Epigram 28. ME thinkes I heare a swarme of Romanists , Reuile and curse , with candle booke , and bell : Yea all the poleshorne crew of Antichrists , Condemnes me all without remorse to hell . But I with resolution so doe arme me , Their blessings doe no good , nor cursings harme me . Epigram 29. I That haue rowed from Tyber vnto Thames , Not with a Sculler , but with Scull and Braines : If none will pay my fare , the more their shames , I am not first vnpaid that hath tane paines . Yet I le be bold if payment be delayd , To say and sweare your Sculler is not payd . To his aproued good friend Mr. Robert Branthwayt . DEere friend to thee I owe a countles debt , Which though I euer pay , will nere be payd : T is not base coyne , subiect to cankers fret , If so , in time my debt would be defrayd . But this my debt , I would haue all men knowe , Is loue : the more I pay , the more I owe. I. T , To his well esteemed friend Mr. Maximilian Waad . VVIt , Learning , Honesty , and all good parts , Hath so possest thy body , and thy minde , That curteously thou stealst away mens harts , Yet gainst thy theft there 's neuer none repinde . My heart , that is my greatest worldly pelfe , Shall euer be for thee as for my selfe . I. T. To my friend Mr. William Sherman . THou that in idle adulating words , Canst neuer please the humors of these dayes , That greatest works with smallest speach affords , Whose wit the rules of wisdomes lore obayes . In few words then , I wish that thou maist be , As well belou'd of all men as of me . FINIS . I. T. Epigram 1. ALl you that stedfastly doe fixe your eyes , Vpon this idle issue of my braine , Who voyd of any intricate disguise , Discribes my meaning rusticall and plaine . My Muse like Sisiphus with toylsome trade , Is euer working , yet hath neuer done , Though from the Romish Sea she well gan wade , Yet is her labour as t were new begun . For hauing at the Papists had a fling , Great Brittaines vice , or Vertues now I sing . Epigram 2. THen cause I will not hug my selfe in sinne , First with my selfe I meane for to begin . Confessing that in me there 's nothing good : My vaines are full of sin-poluted blood , Which al my corps infects with hel-borne crimes , Which make my actions lawles like these times , That had I power according to my will , My faults would make compare with any ill . But yet I muse at Poets now adayes , That each mans vice so sharply will dispraise : Like as the Kite doth ore the carrion houer , So their owne faults , with other mens they couer . Cause you shall deeme my iudgement to be iust , Amongst the guilty , I cry guilty first . Epigram 3. GLacus that selfe conceyted critticke foole , Vpon my Epigrams doth looke a scaunt , And bids me put my barren wit to schoole , And I in anger bid the Asse auaunt . For till some better thing by him is pend , I bid him falt not that he cannot mend . Epigram 4. A Skilfull Painter such rare pictures drew , That euery man his workmanship admird : So neere the life , in beauty , forme , and hue , As if dead Art , gainst Nature had conspirde . Painter saies one , thy wife 's a pretty woman , I muse such ill shapt Children thou hast got , Yet makest such Pictures as their like makes no man , I prethee tell the cause of this thy lot ? Quoth he , I paint by day when it is light , And get my Children in the darke at night . Epigram 5. VNlearned Azo , a store of bookes hath bought , Because a learned Scoller hee le be thought : I counseld him that had of bookes such store , To buy Pipes , Lutes , the Violl and Bandore , And then his musicke and his learnings share , Being both alike , with either might compare . Epigram 6. FAire Betrice tucks her coates vp somewhat hie , Her pretty Leg and Foot cause men should spie : Saies one you haue a handsome Leg sweet Ducke , I haue two ( quoth she ) or els I had hard lucke : There 's two indeed , I thinke th' are twinnes ( quoth he ) They are , and are not , honest friend ( quoth she ) Their birth was both at once I dare be sworne , But yet betweene them both a man was borne . Epigram 7. THe way to make a Welch-man thirst for blisse , And say his prayers daily on his knees : Is to perswade him that most certaine t is , The Moone is made of nothing but greene Cheese . And hee le desire of God no greater boone . But place in heauen to feede vpon the Moone . Epigram 8. A Gallant Lasse from out her window saw A gentleman whose nose in length exceeded : Hir boundles will , not lymited by law , Imagin'd he had what she greatly needed . To speake with him she kindly doth entreat , Desiring him to cleare her darke suppose : Supposing euery thing was made compleate , And corespondent equall to his nose . But finding short where she exspected long , She sigh'd , and said , O nose thou didst me wrong . Epigram 9. YOung Sr. Iohn Puck foyst , and his new made madam , Forgetts they were the off-spring of old Adam : I 'm sure t is not for wit , nor man-like fight , His worthles worship late was dubd a knight . Some are made great for wealth , and some for wit , And some for vallour doe attaine to it : And some for neither vallour , witt nor wealth , But stolne opinion , purchase it by stealth . Epigrom 10. ONe tolde me flattry was exilde the state , And pride and lust at Court were out of date , How vertue did from thence all vice pursue , T is newes ( quoth I ) too good for to be true . Epigrum 12. HE that doth beate his braines , and tire his witt , In hope thereby to please the multitude As soone may ride a horse without a bitt , Aboue the Moone , or sunnes high Altitude . Then neither flattery , nor the hope of pelfe , Hath made me write , but for to please my selfe . Epigram 12. ARustick swaine was cleauing of a block , And hum he Cryes at euery pondrous knock , His wife saies , husband wherfore hum you so ? Quoth he it makes the wedge in further goe . When day was don , and drowsie night was come , Being both in bed at play , she bids him hum , Good wife ( quoth he ) entreat me hum no more , For when I hum I cleaue , but now I bore . Epigram 13 , VVHen Caualero Hot-shott goes with Oares , Zoun's Rowe ye Rogs , ye lazy knaues make hast , A noyse of Fidlers , and a brace of whores , At Lambeth stayes for me to breake their fast . He that 's so hott for 's wench ere he come nie her , Being at her once I doubt hee le be a fier . Epigram 14. IT was my chaunce once in my furious moode , To call my neighbours wife an arrant who re , But she most stifly on her credit stood , Swearing that sory I should be therefo re , Her husband vnderstanding of the case , Protested he would sue me for a slander , When straight I prou'd it to his forked face , He was a knaue , a cuckold and a Pander . Oho ( quoth he ) good neighbor say no mo , I know my wife lets out her buggle bo . Epigram 15. THe Law hangs Theeues for their vnlawfull stealing , The Law carts Bawds , for keeping of the dore , The Law doth punish Rogues , for roguish dealing , The Law whips both the Pander and the whore , But yet I muse from whence this Law is growne , Whores must not steale nor yet must vse their owne . Epigram 16. OLd Fabian by extortion and by stealth , Hath got a huge masse of ill gotten wealth , For which he giues God daily thankes and praise , When t was the Deuill that did his fortunes raise . Then since the getting of thy goods were euill , Th' ast reason to be thankfull to the deuill , Who very largely hath increast thy muck , And sent them Miser Midaes golden luck . Then thanke not God for he hath helpt thee least , But thanke the Deuill that hath thy pelfe increast . Epigram 17. VVHat matter i st , how men their dayes do spend , So good report doe on their deaths attend : Though in thy former life thou nere didst good , But mad'st Religion for thy faults a hood , And all blacke sinnes were harbourd in thy breast , And tooke thy Conscience for their natiue nest : Yet at thy buriall for a noble price , Shalt haue a Sermon made , shall hide thy vice . A threed-bare Parson shall thy prayse out-powre , And in the expiration of an howre , Will make the world thy honesty applaud , And to thy passed life become a Baud. Our Christian brother heere lyes dead ( quoth he ) Who was the patterne of true Charity : No Drunkard , Whoremonger , nor no vile swearer , No greedy Vsurer , nor no Rent-rearer . O deare beloued his example take , And thus an end at this time doe I make . Thus Mr. Parson nobly spends his breath , To make a Villaine honest after death . And for one noble , freely he affoords , Much more then twenty shillings-worth of words . Epigram 18. LOrd who would take him for a pippin squire , That 's so bedawb'd with lace and rich attire ? Can the dambd windefalls of base bawdery , Maintaine the slaue in this imbrodery ? No maruaile Vertue 's at so lowe a price , When men knowes better how to thriue by Vice. Epigram 19. ALl Bradoes oathes are new-found eloquence , As though they sprung from learned sapience : He sweares by swift-pac'd Titans fiery Car , By Marses Launce , the fearefull God of warre , By Cupids Bowe , Mercuries charming Rod , By Baccus Diety , that drunken God. By grimfacde Pluto , and Auernus Caues , By Eolus blasts , and Nptunes raging waues , By his sweet Mistris bright translucent eies , All other Oathes his Humour doth despise . Epigram 20. Signeor Serano , to and fro doth range , And at high noone he visits the Exchange : With stately gate the peopled Burse he stalkes , Prying for some acquaintance in those walkes . Which if he spie , note but his strange salute , Marke how hee le spread to shew his broaking sute , When he perhaps that owde this cast apparell , Not a fortnight since at Tyburne fought a quarell . Epigram 21. OLd Grubsons Sonne a stripling of good age , T will make one laugh to see him and his Page , Like to a garded Vrchin walkes the streetes , Looking for reuerence of each one he meetes : Eagles must honour Owles , and Lyons Apes , And wise men worship fooles for farre fetcht shapes . Epigram 22. GReat Captaine Sharke doth wonderfully muse , How he shall spend the day that next ensues : There 's no Play to be plaid but he hath seene , At all the Theaters he oft hath beene : And seene the rise of Clownes , and fall of Kings , Which to his humor no contentment brings . And for he scornes to see a Play past twice : Hee le spend the time with his sweet Cockatrice . Epigram 23. A Compleat Gallant that hath gone as farre , That with his hands from Skies hath pluckt a Starre : And saw bright Phoebus when he did take Coach , And Luna when her Throane she did approach : And talkt with Iupiter and Mercury , With Vulcan and the Queene of Letchery , And saw the net the stumpfoot Blackesmith made , Wherein fell Mars and Venus was betraid , With thousand other sights he saw in Skies : Who dares affirme it that this gallant lyes ? I counsell all that either hate or loue him , Rather beleeue him then to goe disproue him . Epigram 24. DRusus his portion gallantly hath spent , What though ? he did it to a good entent . Vnto a wise man it seemes neuer strange , That men should put their mony to exchange . Nay then I see he was a subtill Fox , What had he for 't I pray ? sweet Sir the Pox. I doe not like his bargaine : why , wherefore ? His mony still wan'd lesse , his pox wax more . He need not now feare wasting of his stocks , Spend what he can he nere shall want the pox . Epigram 25. NEat Master Scapethrift railes against all riet , Commending much a temperate sparing diet : What though he hath bene prodigall and wilde , Those idle fancies now he hath exilde : What though he hath bene frequent with excesse Of Dice , of Drabs , and drowsie Drunkennes , Yet now hee 's changd sir , he is not the man , The case is alterd now from what t was than : The Prologue of his wealth did teach him spend , And t is the Epilogue that makes him mend . Epigram 26. A Greedy Chuffe once being warnd in poste , To make appearance at the Court of Hell : Where grisly Pluto hotly rules the roste : And being summond by the passing Bell , With heapes of Golde he would haue bribed Death , But he disayning bribes , depriu'd his breath , Epigram 27. DOctor Donzago one of wondrous learning , And in Astronomy exceeding cunning : Of things thats past and comming , hee s discerning , His minde on Prophesies is euer running , Of Commets , Meteors , Apparitions , Of Prodigies , and exhalations , Of Planets , natures , and conditions , And of the spheares great calculations , Yet want of one skill , all his cunning smothers , Who lies most with his wife himselfe or others ? Epigram 28. BRaue Bragadocio whome the world would threaten , Was lately with a fagot sticke sore beaten : Wherefore in kindenes now my Muse must weepe , Because his resolution was a sleepe . Epigram 29. WAlking along the streetes the other day , A ragged Soldier crost me on the way ; And though my Purses lyning was but scant , Yet somewhat I bestowd to ease his want . For which he kindely thankt me with his hart , And tooke his leaue and friendiy we did part . When straight mine eyes a Horse and Footcloth spide , Vpon whose backe in pompous state did ride , One , whome I thought was Deputy to Ioue , Yet not this Soldiers wants could pitty moue , But with disdainefull lookes and tearmes of scorne , Commaunds him trauell whether he was borne . T will almost make a puritane to sweare , To see an Asses Horse a Cloake to weare , When Christians must goe naked bare and thinne . Wanting apparrell t'hide their mangled skinne . Vaine world vnto thy Chaos turne agen , 〈◊〉 bruitish beasts are more esteemd then men . Epigram 30. LIefetenant Puffe from Cleaueland is returnd , Where entring of a Breach was sorely burnd : And from Reuenge hee le neuer be perswaded , Till the lowe Countries he hath quite inuaded . When his hot wrath makes Netherlands to smoake , Hee s bound for Deepe in Fraunce , with irefull stroake . But haue a care in these hot warres of Fraunce : Least in a pocky heat you spoyle your Launce . Epigram 31. A Loue-sicke Woer would a Sonnet write , In praise of her that was his hearts delight : Hoping thereby his wished loue to winne , And to attaine it , thus he did begin . Starre of the Earth , and Empresse of my Soule , My Loue and Life , that doth my thoughts controule : Sole Queene of my affections , and desire , That like to Aetna sets my heart on fire . Thy golden Lockes , resembling brightest Amber , Most fit to grace some mighty Monarkes Chamber : Thine eyes ecclipsing Titan in his rysing , Thy Face surpassing Natures best deuising . Thy Lips Euaporates most sweete perfumes , Thy Voyce the Musicke of the Spheares assumes . Perfection wounds more then Loues Shaft and Bowe , Thy red the Rose doth shame , thy white the snowe , Thou Worlds wonder , Natures dearest Iewell , Staine not thy Vertues , with thy being cruell . O thou that art my Soules adored Saint ! Be penetrable to my woes complaint . Thus the poore Bull-finch spends the day in moanes , The night he wasts in deepe heart-gnawing groanes , For a most silthy vgly odious Whore , On whome he spends his substance and his store . Deuising millions of egregious lyes , To raise his Punckes foule feature to the skyes . Epigram 32. LOoke how yon I etchers Legs are worne away With haunting of the Whore-house euery day : He knowes more greasy Panders , Bauds , & Drabs , And eats more Lobsters , Artichockes , and Crabs , Blew roasted Egges , Potatoes , Muskadine , Oysters , and pith that growes i' th Oxes Chine : With many Drugs , Compounds , and Simples store , Which makes him haue a stomacke to a Whore. But one day hee le giue ore , when t is too late , When he stands begging through an iron grate . Epigram 33. LIght fingerd Francis begging in the Iayle , Did chance to see a friend of his passe by , Thinking his lamentations would pre uaile , And that some coyne would from his bounty fly . Those antient friends , one thrall , and tother free , One hungry , lowsy , ragged , and forlorne : The tother fat with prodigallity , Makes him this answere mixt with pride and scorne , What Franck ( quoth he ) art there for Ale and Cake ? Why how the Deuill comes this luckles crosse ? Faith Sir ( quoth Franck ) your Mastership mistakes , For I am heere for stealing of a Horse . Troth I mistooke indeed , and so didst thou , For at this time I haue no mony now . Epigram 34. MOunsieur Luxurio hath bene with a Puncke , Whereby his Worships purse is shrowdly shrunke . And now for pennance of his former ryet , With good Duke Humfry he must take his dyet . Thus with a crosseles purse and meatles maw , 〈◊〉 his case quite past the helpe of Law. Epigram 35. THere chanst to meet together in an Inne , Foure men that thought that lying was no sinne , The 〈◊〉 an old man was in age well enter'd , The next a traueller that farre had venter'd , The third a Poet in prose and verse attir'd , The fourth a Painter for his art admir'd : These foure striued each other to excell , Who should in lying beare away the Bell : The old man said that when he was a boy , To lift nine hundred waight was but a toy , To iump in plaine ground thirty foote at least : Then was accounted but an idle iest . The 〈◊〉 replide that he had seene , The King of Pigmies and the Fairy Queene : And bene where triple-headed Cerberus , Did guard the sulphrus gate of Erebus . The Poet he had bene at Hellicon , And rakte from embers of obliuion , Olde Saturnes downefall , and Ioues royall rysing , With thousaud fictions of his wits deuising . And for the Painter scornes to come behinde , He paints a flying Horse , a golden Hinde . A Sagitary , and a grim wilde man , A two-neckt Eagle , and a cole-blacke swan . Now Reader tell me which of those fower Lyers , Doth best deserue the whetstone of their hyers . Epigram 36. THough Death do Vsurers of life depriue , Yet their extorcions euer shall suruiue . Epigram 37. MIraculos wonders in the Brittish clime , Monsters of Nature , sprung from putred slime . Sampson that puld the Gates of Gaza downe , Nor Libian Hercules whose furious frowne , Would mase strong Giants , tame the Lyons rage , Were not so strong as Gallants of this age : Why you shall see an vpstart Corkebraind Iacke , Will beare fiue hundred Akers at his backe , And walke as stoutly as it were no load , And beare it to each place of his aboad , Men of such strength I iudge it necessary , That none but such should Porters burdens carry . Epigram 38. FOr Gods loue tell what gallant Gull is that , With the great Feather , and the Beauer Hat ? O now I know , his name is Mounsieur Shift , Great Cosin german to Sir Cutbert Theft , All his reuenues still he beares ab out him , Whorehouse , nor Ordinaries neuer are without him . False Dice , sharp Knife , and nimble nimming fingers , Are his sworne Subiects , and his tribute bringers . Thus doth he swagger , sharke , steale , filtch , and quarrell , Vntill the hangmans wardrop keepes his parreli . Epigram 39. A Famous house in poasting hast is built , A gallant Porch with Pillars all beguilt , Braue lofty Chimnies , pitty to defile them , Pray make no fire , for the smoake will soyle them . Epigram 40. A Worthy Knight there is of antient fame , And sweet Sir reuerence men doe call his name : By whose industrious pollicie and wit , There 's many things well tane , were else vnfit , If to a fowle discourse thou hast pretence , Before thy foule words name Sir reuerence . Thy beastly tale most pleasantly will slip , And gaine the praise when thou deserust the Whip . There 's nothing vile that can be done or spoake , But must be couerd with Sir reuerence Cloake . His antient pedegree who euer seekes , Shall finde hee s sprung from mongst the gallant Greekes . Was Aiax Squire , great Champion to God Mars : Pray God Sir Reuerence blesse your Worships ( ) Epigram 41. HVnting is all this Gentlemans delight , Yet out of Towne his Worship neuer rides : He hunts inuisible and out of sight , For in the Citty still his game abides . He hunts no Lyon , Tygre , nor the Bore , Nor Bucke , nor Stagge , nor Hart , nor Hinde , nor Hare , But all his sport 's in hunting of a whore , And in the Chase no trauell he will spare . He hath one Dog for hunting of the Cunny , Worth a whole kennell of your flapmouthd Hounds , He will not part with him for any mony , But yet the Curre will course beyond his bounds . But I aduise him to respect his lot , Least too much heating make him pocky hot . Epigram 42. FAlling a sleepe , and sleeping in a dreame , Downe by the Dale that flowes with Milke & Creame , I saw a Rat vpon an Essex Cheese Dismounted by a Cambrian clad in Freese . To bid his Worship eat I had no need , For like a Serieant he began to feed . Epigram 43. A French and English man at dinner sate , And neither vnderstanding others prate , The Frenchman sayes , mange proface Mounsieure , The Englishman begins to storme and sweare : By all the Deuills , and the Deuills dams , He was not mangie but i th wrists and 〈◊〉 . Epigram 44. A Dead dead bargaine is a quicke quicke wife , A quicke wife lyes ore long vpon ones hands , But for a dead wife that hath lost her life A man may sooner vtter then his lands . This Riddle greatly doth amaze my head , That dead thinges should be quick , and quick things dead . Loe then I le make an outcry wondrous strange , If death doe any wife of life depriue : I le giue her husband coyne to boot and change , And for his dead wife one that is aliue : Besides , I le pay the 〈◊〉 and the feast , And take my wife againe when shee s dtceast . Epigram 45. Omus sits mumming like an 〈◊〉 Elfe , Hates others good nor doth no good himselfe . Epigram 46. REader , if any thing this Booke did cost , Thou needst not deeme thy coyne and labor lost : T will serue thee well Tobacco for to dry , Or when thou talkst with mother Anthony . T will serue for Muckenders for want of 〈◊〉 , So farwell Reader , I remaine thy detter . Satire THou that hast euer bene a rouing Theese , A diuing Cutpurse , or a periurd Slaue , And in all villany hast bene the Chiefe , And with a brasen brow canst iustice braue , That stealst thy pedegree from antient houses , And 〈◊〉 in broaking Sattin euery day : That takst delight in stabbing and Carowses , Not caring how thou letst thy loose life stray . Thou that hast bene a Traytor to thy Prince , A great Arch-villaine to thy natiue soyle , And wouldst by treachery exile from thence , The blessed peace hath bene procurd with toyle . Thou that hast bene a Machiuilian For damned slights , conceits , and pollicy : Thou that hast bene an Antichristian , Or 〈◊〉 with blinded heresy . If any of these vile iniquities , Haue bene the Axioms of thy passed life ; Then view the Roles of old antiquities , And see goods got with falshood , lost with strife . There shalt thou see how Iustice euermore , Hath poyz'd the Ballance , and vpheld the Sword , How Grauitie inspirde with Wisdomes lore , Hath Vertue honord , and foule Vice abhord . How Treason hath bene seuerd lim from lim , How Theft and Murder there haue paid their hire : How those that erst in worldly pompe did swim , Haue soyld their fortunes in disgraces mire . How 〈◊〉 hath forfeited his eares , How 〈◊〉 mounted on the Pillory , How graceles 〈◊〉 , that nothing feares , Doe end their dayes in loathed misery . How Vsury is plagued with the Gowt , How Auarice complayneth of the Stone : How guilty Consciences are still in dout , How Enuy gnawes on Honor to the bone . How Letchery is laden with the pox , How Prodigallity doth end with woe : How Panderisme is headed like an Ox , Because the destinies apoynt it so . How drunkennes is with the dropsie fraught , And made his visage like a fiery Commet , Who being full must leaue the tother draught , Till like a Swine he wallow in his vommet . How dambd hipocrisie with faigned zeale , And outward shew of painted holynes : ( Doth like a Canker eat the publike weale ) All scornefull pride , yet seemes all lowlynes . To thee that readst this , therefore be it knowne , If any of those vices are immurde Within thy heart , not to the World yet showne : If by this reading thou maist be allurde , To turne thy tide of life another way , And to amendment all thy thoughts incline : And to thy rebell will no more obay , But seeke by vertuous actions to combine Fame to thy friends , and terror to thy foe , And say t was friendly counsell told thee so . Satire . THis childish Anticke , doating pie-bald world , Through which the Deuill , all blacke sins hath hurld : Hath hene so long by wickednes prest downe , From the freese Plow-swaine to th' Imperiall Crowne : We haue so long in vice accustomd bin , That nothing that is wicked lookes like sin . The glistring Courtier in his gaudy tire , Scornes with his heeles to know his russet Sire . The pettifogging Lawyer crammes vp Crownes , From hobnayld Boores , and sheepeskin country Clownes The gaping , greedy , gryping Vsurer , The sonne of Hell , and Sathans treasurer : The base 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 sould bribing Broaker , The 〈◊〉 of Mankinde and his Countries choaker . The helhownd whelpe , the shoulder-clapping Serient , That cares not to vndoe the world for Argent . The postknight that will sweare away his soule , Though for the same , the law his eares doe powle . The smoaky black-lungd puft Tobacconist , Whose ioy dothin Tobacco sole consist . The chollericke Gull that 's tangled with a Drab , And in her quarrell will his father stab . The baudy dry boand letcherous Baboone , Would faine repent , hut thinkes it is too soone . The ryming Iygmonger would be a Poet , But that the Rascall hath not wit to show it . The wrinkled Bawd , and dambd Vermillian whore , That buyes and sells the pox t' increase their store . The greasy cauesdropping dore-keeping Pander , That with a Puncke to any man will wander . The conycatching shifter 〈◊〉 most briefe , And when hee s hangd hee le cease to be a thiefe . The 〈◊〉 Drunkard , will carrowse and quaffe , Till like a Hog he tumble in his draffe . Besides , there 's diuers other helborne sinnes : As some great men are wrapt in Misers skinnes , For feare of whose dislike 〈◊〉 hold me still , And not bumbast them with my Ganders quill . Consider with thy selfe good Reader then , That heere thou 〈◊〉 amongst those wicked men , Who on this earthly stage together keepe , Like mag gots in a putrified sheepe . Whose damned dealings blacke confusion brings , By the iust iudgement of the King of Kings . Pastorall Equinocks , or a Shepheards complaint . I That haue trac'd the mountaines vp and downe , And pipte and chanted Songs and pleasant layes : The whilst my flokes haue friskt it on the downe , Now blinded loue my sportiue pleasures layes . I that on greeny grasse could lay me do wne , And sleepe as soundly as on beds of downe . I then was free from loues all wounding blowe , My Ewes and Lambs then merrily could folde : I carde not then which way the winde did blowe , Nor had I cause with griefe my armes to folde , I feard not Winters frost , nor Summers sonne , And then was I a happy mothers sonne . I then could haunt the Market and the Faire , And in a frolicke humor leape and spring : Till she whose beauty did surpasse all faire , Did with her frosty 〈◊〉 nip my Spring . Then I alas , alas vnhappy I , Was made a captiue to her scornefull eie . VVhen loue 's fell shaft within my breast did light , Then did my Cock-horse pleasures all a light , Loues fiery 〈◊〉 ecclipsed all my light , And she vnkinde , weyde all my woes to light . O then my merry dayes away did hie , VVhen I so lowe did dote on one so hie . Her beauty , which did make Loues Queene a Crowe , VVhofe white did shame the Lilly , red the Rose . VVhen Phoebus messenger the Cocke did crowe , Each morne when from hia Antipods he rose . Despight of gates , and barres , and bolts , and lockes , Heed kisse her face , and guild her golden lockes . VVhich makes my rest , like those that restles be , Like one that 's hard pursude , and cannot flye : Or like the busie buzzing humming Bee , Or like the fruitles nought respected Flye . That cuts the subtill ayre so swift and fast , Till in the Spiders web hee 's tangled fast . As blustring Boreas rends the losty Pyne , So her vnkindenes rends and reaues my heart , I weepe , I waile , I sigh , I grone , I pine , I in ward bleed as doth the wounded Hart. She that alone should onely wish me well , Hath drownd my ioyes in sorrowes ioyles well . The 〈◊〉 Tyger , and the sauage Beare , All Beasts and Birds of prey that haunt the wood , In my laments doe seeme some part to beare , But onely She whose feature makes me wood , As barbing Autumne robs the trees of leaues : Her 〈◊〉 scorne me voyd of comfort leaues . No Castle , Fort , no Rampier , or strong Hold , But Loue will enter without Law or Leaue : For where affections force hath taken hold , There lawles loue will such impression 〈◊〉 , That Gods , nor men , nor fier , earth , water , winde , 〈◊〉 Loues straight lawes can neither turne nor wind . Then since 〈◊〉 haples haps falls out so hard , Since all the fates on me their anger powre : Since my laments and moanes cannot be heard , And she on me shewes her commaunding power . What then remaines , but I dissolue in teares , Since her disdaines my heart in pieces teares . Dye then sad heart in sorrowes prison pend , Dye face that 's 〈◊〉 with a deadly dye : 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that in her praise hath Poems pend , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , and Hand , haples and helples dye . 〈◊〉 Serieant Death , that rests and tak'st no bale , 〈◊〉 onely thou must ease my bitter bale . This said , he sighd , and fell into a sownd , That 〈◊〉 the Hills , and Groues , and neigbouring Plaines , The Ecchoes of his groanings seemd to sound , With repercussion of his dying plaines . And where in life he scorned counsell graue , Now in his death he rests him in his graue . Epitaph . HEere lies ingrau'd whose life fell death did sacke , Who to his graue was brought vpon a Beere : For whome let all men euer mourne in Sacke Or else remember him in Ale or 〈◊〉 . He who in life Loues blinded God did lead , Now in his death lies heere as cold as Lead . Sonnet : In trust lies treason . THe fowlest friends assumes the fairest formes , The fairest Fields doth feed the fowlest Toad : The Sea at calm'st most 〈◊〉 is to stormes , In choysest fruit the canker makes aboad . So in the shape of all belieuing trust , Lyes toad inuenomd treason cooched close , Till like a storme his trothles thoughts out burst , Who canker-like had laine in trusts repose . For as the fire within the flint confinde , In deepest Ocean still vnquencht remaines : Euen so the false though truest seeming minde , Despight of truth the treason still retaines . Yet maugre treason trust deserueth trust , And trust suruiues when treason dies accurst . Death with the foure Elements . TWo Infant-twinnes a Sister and a Brother , When out of dores was gone their carefull Sire , And left his babes in keeping with their mother , Who merrily sate singing by the fire . Who hauing fild a 〈◊〉 with water warme , She bathd hen girle ( O ruthles tale to tell ) The whilst she thought the other safe from harme , ( Vnluckily ) into the fire he 〈◊〉 : VVhich she 〈◊〉 lets her daughter drowne , And rashly ran to saue her burning sonne . Which finding dead , she hastily casts downe , And all agast , doth to the water runne : Where seeing tother was depriud of breath , She gainst the earth falls downe and dasnt her braines : Her Husband comes and sees this worke of death , And desperate hangs himselfe to ease his paines . Thus death with all the elements conspire , To reaue mans life , Earth , Water , Aire , and Fire . Epilogue . GOod Reader , if my harshe vnlearned rimes , ( Where with my Muse hath whipt these heedles times ) Hath pleasd thy pallat with their true endeauor : She then will thinke her selfe most fortunate , And shall heere after be importunate . Her selfe in better labors to perseuer . I speake not to those ignorant Iacke = 〈◊〉 , That with their Canker-biting enuious iawes , Will seeme to staine my Muses innocence . But in all humblenes I yeeld to those , Who are detracting Ignorances foes : And loues the labors of each good pretence . Dislike and scorne may chance my Booke to smother , But kinde acceptance brings forth such another . YOu that the Sculler right doth vnderstand , Mees very glad you 'r safely come to land . But if that any inarling manlike Monster , His honest meaning wrongfully misconster : To such 〈◊〉 all despight , he sends this word , From Booke and Boat hee le hurle them ouer boord . I. T. FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13493-e3260 Math. 16. If the corps of Peter 〈◊〉 the Churches foú dation , as the Papists 〈◊〉 , thē how 〈◊〉 the spouse of our Sauiour haue done if the Apostle Peter had neuer ben borne T is more the I can beleeue that the Deuil hath power to elect ā Officer for God. Being of the Deuils placing or displacing , the Pope must needs bee the Deuils deputy & not 〈◊〉 I my selfe did talk with such a fellow , and if occasion serue I can produce him . T is a 〈◊〉 piece of work for the pot to make the 〈◊〉 ter . If the deuil be true to his 〈◊〉 , these two principle axiomes will to the end of the worlde , helpe the Papists at a dead life . T is reason a Shepheard should rule Rome because a Shepheard did build it : & How Romulus by great reason the Pope shold be of a woluish nature cause a wolfe was nurse to his first 〈◊〉 for Romulus . Thogh al the scriptures doe assure that the corporall presence of Christ is in heaven , from whence hee will not come 〈…〉 , till 〈◊〉 comes to the generall iudgement : yet a 〈◊〉 Priest will dayly take vpon him to command him downe , 〈…〉 iuggle him into the 〈◊〉 , ● a cake or a piece of bread . Alexander the 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 were 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . But if his holynes had 〈◊〉 in 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 hee could not haue 〈◊〉 in such a matter . Heauen , Earth , Sea and land , being all 〈◊〉 before these latter times by the Emperors and the godly Bishop , There remaines only hell for the Pope to make a lawfull claime vnto . That Church that is so oposite to the doctrine of Christ cānot be Christs wife but the deuills vvhore . God made 〈◊〉 , the 〈◊〉 , & the Sea , and all things 〈◊〉 in them : the Pope made Purgatory without Gods Ieaue or know ledge therefore t is no reason that God should 〈◊〉 any thing to do there 〈◊〉 the Popes leaue . His holynes 〈◊〉 ouer all the deuils in this life , but t is but borowed ware , 〈◊〉 they paye him all his old score when he dies , & comes to 〈◊〉 host . Seauen goodly vertues , natu rally 〈◊〉 in his 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . His holynes neuer learned this of Christ , nor yet of 〈◊〉 . If you will know the 〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉 , any ordinary priest can tell you as well as 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 can tell a peny is the price of a pot of ale . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . It is a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , to 〈◊〉 flesh & 〈◊〉 all 〈◊〉 of fish , & other delicates , which they cause to swim in their 〈◊〉 with the strongest wine , which makes 〈◊〉 Holynes & all is crew , to look as leane as so many Brawnes , styed vp against Christ mas . * I meane the 7. deadly sinnes . * His 〈◊〉 knowes if 〈◊〉 should feede 〈◊〉 Sheepe of Christ 〈◊〉 such 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 he 〈◊〉 , they 〈◊〉 soone finde out his 〈◊〉 . * If the Pope should 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 drawne , it weld 〈◊〉 his 〈◊〉 , & his 〈◊〉 . both . I would wishe that this were not so , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 stand long in 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 for 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Authors 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 & 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . I thinke as you thinke , what thinke 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 
A13495	----	A shilling or, The trauailes of twelue-pence Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1621 Approx. 59 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 23 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13495 STC 23793 ESTC S118272 99853479 99853479 18862 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13495) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18862) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:21) A shilling or, The trauailes of twelue-pence Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [48] p. Printed by Edward Allde for Henry Gosson, [London : 1621] Preface signed: Iohn Taylor. In verse. Imprint from STC. Signatures: A-C. The first leaf contains verses. With a title-page woodcut. Running title reads: The trauels of twelue-pence. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Cropped at fore-edge. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). 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After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-06 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THose that will change this new coyn'd English shilling , And giue 's two Testorns , or three Groates , most willing : Shall finde ( though 't was not Coyned in the Mint ) That there 's no counterfaited mettall in 't . I Coyn'd it , and the Coyning I 'le maintaine It is vnclip'd and weight vnto a graine ; To Mint and stampe , my braines and Pen agreed , I Coyn'd , and feare no hanging for the deed . The meaning of the Picture . HEre , Twelue-pence slowely rides vpon a Snaile , To meete the Oare , the Shouell and the Flaile : But to the Furre-gowne all in post he flings Through th' Ayre , o're Earth and Sea , with Faulcons wings , Which Emblem truly to the world implies , That Money to the Mizers Coffers flies . Whilst vnto those that paines and labour take , It doth a creeping , sleeping dull pace make . But let it creepo , flie slowe , or swiftly come : Amidst this scrambling Age , I will haue some : For if it come not to the Oare , nor Pen , I 'le neuer studdy , write , or Rowe agen . IOHN TAYLOR . A SHILLING OR , The Trauailes of Twelue-pence . TO ALL THOSE THAT HAVE BEENE , ARE , WILL , OR WOVLD BE , Masters of a SHILLING or TWELVE-PENCE . SIR Iohn Mandeuill , an English Knight , a famous Trauailer , and discouerer of forraigne Maners , Regions , and Rarieties ; Christopher Collumbus , Magellane , Hernando Cortez , Don Diego de Almagro , Drake , Hawkins , Frosbushir , Baskeruile , Cauendish , and many more worthy Trauailers of our owne and other Nations , whose honourable , dangerous , and laudable atchieuements , haue made their meritorious names to be Recorded , to the admiration of the time past , present , and to future posterity : yet if it be well considered , it will plainely appeare , that all their laborious endeuours had an end with their liues . But the Trauailer that I treate of , the Thricetrebble tryumphant Troynouantine Twelue-pence , is like a perpetuall motion in continuall trauell , to whose Iourney there can be no end , vntill the world come to a finall dissolution and period . For the progresse of Coriat was but a walke in regard of my Shillings perambulations : and if all the Inke and Paper-murdering fictions should be true of Amadis de Gaule , Huon , Sir Egre , Beuis , Guy , the Mirrour of Knighthood , the seauen champions , Chinon , Sir Dagonet , Triamore , Launcelet , Don Spatterlash of Toledo , Monsieur Mallegrindo , Knight of the frozen Ile : If it were possible that all their lyes should be true , of the great Trauels of these imaginarie and neuer seene Worthies , yet must they all come short of the praise that is due to my trauelling Twelue-pence . I could haue busied my braines about many other Subiects , as quick Epigrams , biting Satyres , sharpe Iambicks , soothing Elegies , pleasant Pastorals , Odes , Madrigalls , or Roundelayes ; alluring Sonnets , flattering Epithalamiums , or lying Epitaphs , Panegericks , or name-seruing Acrosticks , and Annagrams , lofty Tragedie , lowely Comedie , ridling Morrall , or stately Heroicks : either of all these I could haue poorely handled , but that my Muse stumbled by chance vpon this Twelue-peny subiect , wherein I would haue the Reader to consider , that in some places I speak only of a Shilling or Twelue-pence , and in some places generally of Money . I haue set downe the manner of my Shillings shifting of Masters , more often then the Serieants do ; for they vse the old Sheriffs like Almanacks out of date , and yearely serue the new : but Twelue-pence hath sometimes 12. 16. or 20. Masters in a day . In a word ( Reader ) I doe not beg your fauour , craue your acceptance , entreat your kindnes , implore your loue , or request your friendship ; for it is not any of these in particular that I seeke or care for : but generally at all I ayme , and for all I hope , and being in that hope , I leaue you to Reade and Iudge of my insuing Labours , and my Twelue-pences Trauels . Yours , as you please to be mine , IOHN TAYLOR . THE TRAVELS OF Twelue-pence . Imagine Reader ( to his griefe and glory , Twelue-pence himselfe declares his wand'ring story : Relating how he first was borne and bred , And how about the world he Trauailed . IF any one ( as I dare boldly dare ) * His Birth , his Breeding , and his Life declare : Let him appeare , & I dare lay my neck He wil be hang'd , or else deserue a check . From vast America's rude barbarous bounds , From rocky barren soyle , and sterrill grounds , Where men did not their great Creator know , And where the Devil 's the God to whom they bow , There from my Heathen Dam , or mother Earth With paines and trauaile , I at first had birth . A hundred strong men-midwiues , digg'd their way Into her bowels , to finde where I lay With Engines , Spades , Crowes , Mattocks , and such matters , They ripp'd & tore her harmlesse wombe to tatters , And but they did within the mid-way catch me , They would haue dig'd to Hell it selfe to fetch me . At last they found me , mixt with dirt and drosse , Corruption vnrefin'd , eclipst my Glosse , And from the Earth I in the fire was tride , And into Ingots purg'd and purifide . From * Paphlagonia , some my birth doe count , Neere Sandracurgium , a most famous Mount , And that poore Slaues which were condemn'd to dye , Were forc'd to digge for me laboriously , Whereas the dampish Mines infecting ayre Kill'd the poore wretches , and so eas'd their care . Some say that * Menes , an Egiptian King , Me to the shape of Coyne , at first did bring : But when they saw that people , greedily For me did runne into all villany , The Priests did curse the King , that first inuented Me , that so many wayes their mindes tormented . For till they knew me , they affirmed true , No Enuie , Pride , or Auarice they knew . Thus with great labour , and the death of men I first was borne , and afterwards agen He that to Money did conuert me first , Was by the Priests and People , bann'd and curst . With blood and curses I at first began , And euer since haue beene a curse to man. Yet for me some excuses may be showne The name of Twelue-pence , was as then not knowne , Diuersity of Coynes o're all the world Were scatter'd vniuersally , and hurld , In Courts , in Citties , and in warlike Campes E're I was made , they all vs'd other stamps . There were some Sicles , some Meruiades , * An As , a Drachma , a Sesterties , Quadrins , Sextanes , Minaes , ( it appeares ) Didrachmaes , and Sportullas , and Denieres . My name at first did from the Romanes come , ( As Cooper sayes ) they call'd me Sollidum , Or from a Souldier it was named thus , ( As 't were his daily wages ) Sollidus . For though the Times are subject to mutation , Yet from Soldatus I haue nomination : Thus Twelue-pence hath an ancient Warriour bin , Although men know not when I did begin . And by experience all the world can tell , Soldatus doth loue Sollidus so well , That alwayes euery Souldier is vnwilling , Long to be kept asunder from a Shilling , If he doe want me , a moneth , two , * or three , Hee 'll grumble , and goe neere to Mutinie , He hath no minde to draw his sword and fight , But ( discontented ) bids the warres good-night , When let but Sollidus come to his hand , Hee 'll fight as long as he can goe or stand , Regarding nor remembring child or wife , Hee 'll hazard and endanger limb and life : And thus by way of argument 't is pend , A Shilling is a Souldiers loued friend . A Shilling's much more auntient then a pound , And in pronouncing giues a better sound : As for example ; which is most mouth-filling Of fifty pounds , or of a thousand shilling , A thousand pounds , may make the accent rore , But twenty thousand shillings soundeth more . Thus of two sillables , I am compacted , When into one the pounds are all extracted . The Germane Dollors are my Iuniors farre , So are the Copesticks of the Brabander . The Spanish Royall , piece of foure and eight , On me for my antiquity may waite : The Floren , Guelder , and French Cardecus To me are vpstarts , if Records be true , The Grosh , * Potchandle , Stiuer , Doyte , and Sowse Compar'd with me , are all scarce worth a Lowse : Nor can the Atcheson or the Baubee For my antiquity compare with me . The halfe Crowne is on horseback mounted hie , Yet neuer trauail'd halfe so farre as I ; The Scottish Mark 's a dang'rous piece of Coyne , 'T is iust a hanging price , if one purloyne , There 's no such hazard in the stealing mee , I am three halfe-pence lower in degree . And as in pence I for a Iury stand , I haue eleuen Coynes vnder my command : And ( to grace all the rest ) my proper selfe , Like a Graund Iury-man make vp the Twelfe . But for men shall not thinke I bragge or prate , Those whom I doe command I 'le nominate . Nine pence ( three quarters ) with his Harpe befriends me , And sixe pence with halfe seruice still attends me , The foure pence halfe-penny next comes fidling on , The Groat my third part doth depend vpon : The three-pence is a quarter wayter still , The two pence in sixe parts attends my will , Three halfe-pence stoopes to my commanding sway , And eight of them at once doth me obay : The single pence are all my little Cozens , And doe attend my seruice by the dozens . Three farthings by sixteenes attend in plenty , And halfe-pence to the summe of foure and twenty , And last ( for Pages ) on my State doth waite , Of dapper farthing Tokens forty eight . But ere I did attaine my shape and forme , I'abid the brunt of many a furious storme ; For this the world I would haue well to wot , Mine honour was with paines and danger got . I past the raging Seas and flaming fire , And gain'd a Face and Crosse for all my hire : It would almost dissolue a heart of flint , To be so vs'd as I was in the Mint : The paines of Purgatory cannot be But fictions to those things that fell on me . For what I did endure , had man but felt , It had ( like Kitchinstuffe ) haue made him melt . Then my Tormentors , all at once agrees From my great heat , to let me coole or freeze , And dead and cold , me then againe they martir'd , Me all in pieces they be cut and quartir'd , Weighing the mangled mammocks , they pronounce That fiue of me in weight should be an ounce . Then to the Anuile was I brought in hast , Whereas with Hammers they did me bumbast , And there they neuer left belab'ring mee , Vntill they brought me to the shape you see . Thus I mine honour , and my forme did win , Through many dreadfull dangers I was in . And though there scarce doth memory remaine , What I was e're the sixt King Edwards raigne , Yet long before his time I was in value , As read in good true written Stories shall you . My stamp ( when Rome did keepe the world in awe ) Was foure swift Steedes that did a Chariot draw , Which figur'd , that I too and fro should runne An endlesse Iourney that would nere be done . I am made endlesse , round , which doth portend , Till the world end , my Iourney ne're shall end . And men may plainely in my roundnesse see , An Emblem of the worlds rotundity . Round is the Globe , round is the Hemisphere , Round runs the Moon and Sun , each month and yeere ; Round ran the Empire from th' Assirian Kings , Round vnto Persia , Greece , and Rome it flings , Round to great Britaine , it is come I know , Whence ( hem'd round with the Sea ) it cannot goe . But the maine cause that makes it stay and stand , Is where 't is guarded by th' Almighties hand . Round from the North to East , to South and West , All Arts haue still ranne round 't is manifest . The Iewes , th' Egiptians , Calates , Persians , Deuis'd Arts , and were Astrologians , And true experience doth approue it thus , Their knowledge is runne round from them to vs. The age of man goes round , a child at first , And like a child returnes vnto his dust . His body and his limbs , his eyes , his head , All in round formes are made and fashioned , The roots , the fruits , the flowers , and the Trees , All in a round conformity agrees , Our drinking healths run round , with nimble quicknes Vntill at last to many healths brings sicknes : VVhen store of money to mens hands doe come , They say they haue receiu'd a good round summe ; And when a man doth take a Knaue vp soundly , 'T is said he told him of his faults most roundly . The Hang-man hangs a Traytor , or a Thiefe , And is about his businesse round , and briefe , Round are the dishes where we put our meate , Our Cups , wherein we drinke , are round compleat : Round is our Butter , round our Cheeses are , Round are the cloathes which on our backs we weare , Beasts , fowles and fish , that euery where abound , Are ( for the most part ) euery where made round . Round are all wedding Rings , implying still , Mens cares runne round , like horses in a Mill. Thus hauing plainely shew'd , why , and wherefore I am made round , now to my taske once more . About my circle , I a Poesie haue , The Title , God vnto the King first gaue . * The circle that encompasseth my face , Declares my Soueraignes Title , by Gods grace , Vpon my other side is , * POSVI DEVM , Whereto is added ADIVTOREM MEVM . The which last Poesie Annagrammatiz'd , Wisedome , admit me power , true compriz'd , Wisedome at first vpon me did bestowe Such power that for a Shilling I should goe , When Wisedome gaue me power , I was then A seruant , not a Master vnto men . Now , Power * makes me Wisedome force perforce Improper , like the Cart before the Horse . For in this Age , so many friends I finde , My power 's before , and Wisedome comes behinde . He that for me and for my kin can rake Is wise , ( although a Coxcomb ) for my sake , He that wants me , shall be esteem'd an Asse , Although he be as wise as e're man was . For there 's such league , one in Triplicity Sworne firme betwixt the Deuill , the world , and I , That those who to the one true seruants bee , Are captiue bondslaues vnto all the three , Great sway vpon the earth to vs is giuen , For well we know we ne're shall come in heau'n , And all that in vs take delight and mirth , Their onely heau'n is here vpon the earth . And couetous they are not , in this case , Because they couet for no better place ; So much for that : now to my shape againe , You see my face is beardlesse , smooth and plaine , Because my Soueraigne * was a child , 't is knowne When as he did put on the English Crowne . But had my stamp beene bearded , as with haire , Long before this is had beene worne out bare ; For why with me the vnthrifts euery day , With my face downewards do at shoue-boord * play , That had I had a beard , you my suppose Th 'had worne it off , as they haue done my nose . Yet doth my bare face sometimes , now and than Make a young beardlesse Boy , outface a man , For any Boy and I , doe both agree , To outface any man that doth want me . A crosse * I beare vpon my other side , ( A glorious figure of true Christian pride ) And with that crosse I any man can crosse From wrong to iniury , from harme to losse , And in me is such working powerfulnesse , That those that haue me , and both crosse and * blesse . The English , and French Armes , the Lyons & flowres Shewes Fraunce a subiect once to Englands powres , And when my Master did respire his breath , His sisters Mary , and Elizabeth Ordain'd new Twelue-pences with me to ioyne , But altred not my badge vpon my Coyne , Except a little which King Philip did , Which Queene Elizabeth did soone forbid . But since the comming of my Soueraigne Iames , The Badge vpon my * back more worth proclaimes . And to mixe state with truth , truth with delight . Vpon the armes I carie , thus I write . Vpon the Kings Armes . THree Lyons Passant ( borne by former Kings ) Subdues the * Harp , quarters the * flowers of * France Fourth Lyon Rampant , equall honour brings , Though hauing power to warre doth peace aduance , Vnited in great Iames this Royall stile , King of great Britaine , Fraunce , and Irelands Ile . Thus Readers , hauing printed for your reading , My birth , my rising , my estate , and breeding : My Badge , my face , my Crosse , my Annagram . How mighty in my great command I am , Now will I tell some trauels I haue had , And humors of my Masters , good and bad , Some ( as I can remember ) I 'le recite ) Should I name all , 't were almost infinite . ONE ask'd the Cinnick wise Athenian , The cause why siluer look'd so pale and wan : He , in reply was quick , and answer'd straite , Because so many for it lay in waite , And did men thinke in what diuersity Of fashions men for me in waite doe lye , They would agree together in a tale , That I had reason to looke wan and pale . I haue of Treason , bin made Instrument To betray Kingdomes , and to circumuent , To vndermine , and to subuert the states Of Empires , and of mighty Potentates . I haue caus'd murder , cruell Homicide , Foule Fratricide , vnnaturall Paricide . For which a curse doth vnto me remaine A Runnagate , and Vagabond like Caine. And though that God , in thund'ring Maiestie For bad man to haue any Gods but he , Yet many thousands that commaund forget , Not minding God , their mindes on me * they set . To purchase me , men haue forsworne and sworne , And from the Booke of life their names haue torne . For me the Sabaoth is prophan'd with workes Of Christians labours , worse then Iewes or Turkes , For me those Parents that haue nurst and bred Their Children , by them are dishonoured , For to haue me ( to endlesse ioy or woe ) Some children care not where their Fathers goe . I with the deu'ls sole helpe ( my sole partaker ) Haue bin an vniuersall Cuckold-maker : For where nor wit , or beauty could come in In any shape I could admittance win . I make the Husband sometimes keepe the dore , The whil'st for me ) his wife doth play the whore . And many times ( to moue all hell to laughter ) I made a Mother Bawde vnto her daughter . I forc'd a Virgine , cast off continence And Chastity , and put on Impudence . I made a reuerend Iudge to take a Bribe , I made a Scribe a forged Name subscribe , I caus'd a Miser sell his soule to hell , Because I here on Earth with him should dwell , And eighteene yeares he kept me day and night Lock'd in a Chest , not seeing any light . And though my lot was thus a Slaue to be , Yet was he a farre worser Slaue to me ; For he had vow'd himselfe to death to pine , Rather then spend one penny pot of wine , Although he late had swallow'd downe his throat , Stinking fresh Herrings threescore for a Groat . And he did bide this slauish misery , On purpose to debarre my liberty . At last this poore rich , base penurious Knaue , Was borne ( the way of all flesh ) to his Graue : And his braue heire , vpon his backe had got A mourning merry sute , long look'd I wote , He the next day let flie the ill got treasure , And I began to see some worldly pleasure ; From my old Masters Chest , I was assum'd To my young Masters Pockets , sweet perfum'd , ' Ta bawdy house , of the last new translation He bare me with him , for his recreation , There for a maydenhead he plaid a game , Where eightscore more before had done the same , There did my Master Knaue , discharge the score , And went , and left me with my Mistris Whore. I stay'd not in her seruice long , for shee Was not two dayes before she set me free , For hauing got a Frenchified heate , She was prescrib'd a Dyet , and a sweat , She gaue me to the Surgeon , for some Lotion For Vnguents , and a gentle working Potion For Plaisters , and for Oyntments in a Box , And so I left my Mistris , with a Pox. The Surgeon me to the Physitian sent , From him I to th' Apothecaery went , But there I thought that Hell I had beene in , And all the Fiends had in his Boxes bin . For it appear'd to me that all his drugs Had got the names of the infernall Bugs : Zarzaparilla , Colloquintida , Auxungia Porci , Cassia Fistula , Egiptiacum , Album Camphiratum , Blacke Oxicrotium , and white Sublimatum . But soone my Master freed me from my feare , He to the Tauerne went , and left me there . And whilst I in the Vintners house remain'd , Some knowledge of my Masters state I gain'd , Let no man say that drunke , my selfe I showe , For what I speake I vnderstand and knowe . I 'le shew some discommodities that waite ( For the most part ) on euery Vintners state . First , if a rowe of houses stand together , All of one bignesse form'd , no oddes in either , If one of them be to a Vintner let , Amongst the rest at double rent 't is set , Next , if French Wine be twenty pounds the Tonne , But a poore penny in a quart is wonne : Besides , he sometimes in the Caske doth finde , Of Lees sixe Gallons , for a Lagge behinde . And more , when in the Celler it is laid , The Carmen , and Wine-Porters must be paid . And by misfortune if the Caske be weake , Three or foure Gallons in the ground may leake , Or taking vent , it may grow dead and flat , And then the Vintner little gets by that . And if he be a fellow of free hart , He now and then must giue a pint or quart . His Candles ( night and day ) are burning still Within his Seller , lest his Wines should spill : And if two Kennell-rakers chance to come To come i' th euening , they must haue a roome , And ouer one bare pint will sit and prate , And burne a Candle out ( perhaps ) thereat , Whilst all the Drawers must stay vp and waite Vpon these fellowes be it ne're so late . The whilst a Candle in the Kitchin wasts , Another to his end i th' Seller hasts , One with the Guests , another at the Barre , Thus for one pint , foure Candles burning are . By day light , this I haue seene some to doe , Call for a pint , a Pipe , and Candle to , By that time he hath done , 't is quickly counted , To what large summe the Vintners gaines amounted . Besides all this , his charge is euer great , For seruants wages , cloathes , and fire , and meate ; For linnen , washing , Trenchers , losse of Plate , For Glasses broken ( by the course of Fate ) Besides , he hath some scores , which if you looke They make his posts looke white , & blacke his booke : And if a debter seau'n long yeares doe stay , But sixe pence for a quart of wine hee 'll pay , When if a Merchant doe a Vintner trust , For the forbearance deere he answere must . And when some Guests haue liquor in their braines , How they will swagger in their roaring straines , Out goes their swords , and by the eares they fall , And now and then one's nail'd vnto the wall . The man and 's wife abus'd , his seruants beaten , No moneyes pay'd for what is drunke or eaten , His house in question brought , a man is kill'd , His and his wiues heart both with sorrow fill'd , And whereas other Trades their labours end At night , till midnight He doth still attend , At euery Groomes commaund officiously He waits , and takes hard words most curteously . He that amongst these harmes can purchase profit , Much good may 't doe him , he is worthy of it , My Master Vintners Trade , I thought to touch , Because I cannot thinke his gaines is much , I loue them all , my lines here manifests , And so God send them honest sober guests . From thence vnto the Wine-Marchant I went , He presently me to the Market sent : For Butter , and for Egges I was exchang'd , And to the Countrey with my Dame I rang'd . Her Husband gaue me to a lab'ring Ditcher , He to the Alehouse went , and bang'd the Pitcher . To stay long there , I was exceeding loath , They vs'd so much deceit with nick and froath . My Master Host , vnto the Brewer gaue me , The Malt-man came on Monday , and would haue me , He to the Alehouse brought me backe in hast , From thence I quickly to the Baker past , My seruice there was very short and briefe , He plac'd me with a Miller and a Thiefe , That was a merry Master for the nonce , He got his liuing cogging , with two stones , I next dwelt with a Butcher , that had tricks To liue and thriue by Mutton and by pricks . Thus haue I oft beene tossed too and fro , From bad to worse , from misery to woe , From miserable Slaues , to Prodigalls , To arrant Theeues , and to good Hospitalls , To good and bad , to true men and to Taylers , To Fidlers , Pipers , Fishmongers and Saylers , To Mercers , Grocers , Drapers , Tinkers , Pedlers , To Fruiterers , for Pipins , Plumbs , and Medlers , To Silk-men , Sadlers , Turners , Tylers , Glasiers , To Tripewiues , Mealmé , Gardners , Grasiers , Brasiers , To Plummers , Bricklay'rs , Smithes , and Carpenters , To Dyers , Goldsmithes , and to Playsterers , To Noble-men , to Water-men , to Ioyners , To honest men , to Knaues , to clipping Coyners . To Knights , to Beggers , Scriu'ners , Colliers , Lawyers , To Stationers , to Printers , Silk-men , Sawyers , To fooles , to wise-men , Dunces , and to Doctors , To Harlots , Varlots , Serieants , Bayliffes , Proctors , To Papists , Protestants , and Puritans , To Traytors , Subiects , Matchiuillians , To Catchpoles , Beadles , Iaylors , Ironmongers , To Cookes ( whose labours do asswage mens hungers , To Cuckolds , Bawdes , to greasie Pimps and Panders , To Cowards , valiant men , and stout Commanders . To Fishers , Fowlers , Shepheards , Queristers , To Feather-makers , Girdlers , Barristers , To Players , Bearewards , Fencers , to good fellowes , To those that make no breath , yet can make bellowes . To Pewt'rers , Shoomakers , and Buttonmakers , To Marshals men , and dirty kennell-rakers . To Leather-sellers , Armourers , and Curriers , To Iuglers , Iesters , Masons , Barbars , Spurriers , To Woodmongers , to Tapsters , and to Salters , To Ropemakers , for Cables , Ropes and Halters , To Paynters , Poynters , Hackney-men and Skinners , To Hearb-wiues , Fish-wiues , & such scolding sinners , To Cutlers , Parrators , to Posts , to Iudges , To Druggists , Felmongers , and to toyling Drudges , To Hatters , Powlterers , Coniurers , and Farmers , To Priests , Clerks , Sextanes , Sorcerers , and Charmers , To Bowyers , Chaundlers , and Astronomers , To Gulls , to Gallants , and Embroyderers , To Basket-makers , Milke-maydes , Iewellers , To Comfit-makers , and Soliciters , To Yeomen , Hostlers , and to vnder Shrieues , To Millainers , to Chamberlaines , and Thieues , To Cappers , Faulkners , Plow-men , Haberdashers , To Coopers , Weauers , Scullions , Coblers , Thrashers , To Hunts-men , Gunners , Grauers , Rhethoritians , To Coachmen Tuckers , Potters , and Musitians , To Reapers , Spinners , Caruers , and Suruayors , To Orators , to Cariers , and Puruayors , To Clothiars , to Logitians , Mowers , Shermen , To Clockmakers , Collectors , Miners , Carmen , Tobacco-sellers , Netmakers , men , Boyes , To Sharkes , Stales , Nims , Lifts , Foysts , Cheats , Stands , Decoyes , T'a Cut-purse , and a Pocket picking Hound , To as mad Rogues as euer trod on ground . To married men , to Batchellers , to Lads ; To sober Fellowes , and to drunken Swads , To Maydes , to Wiues , to Widdowes , and to Whores , To liberall mindes , and hungry hide-bound Bores , To Midwiues , Chimney-sweepers , Beadles , Nurses , To Scampsters , Laundresses , and Gossips purses , To Drummers , Draymen , Pyrates , Drawers , Glouers , To Trumpets , Whitsters , Ratcatchers , and Drouers , To Hang-men , Side-men ; to Churchwardens , Cryers , To Fluits , Horse-coursers , Sellers , and to Buyers , To Prisoners , to Night-farmers , and to Broome-men , To all estates of Forraigners and Free-men : I could name more , if so my Muse did please , Of Mowse Traps , and tormentors to kill Fleas : For Ballads , Table-bookes , and Conny-skins , For ends of Gold and Siluer , Poynts and Pins : For Knights , and Madames made of Ginger-bread , And many a stale and musty maydenhead . These Masters haue I seru'd , and thousands more Of all degrees and Trades , on seas and shore . And amongst all the places that I had , Whereas I found one good , I got ten bad : If I did serue a poore man but one day , I fiue yeare ( for it ) with the rich would stay , I haue bin Twelue-pence seauenty od long yeare , And to the world , I 'le make it plaine appeare , That where I had one Master lou'd the poore , I had ten Drunkards , that did loue a Whore , For each houres seruice good men had of mee , To my great griefe I seru'd bad people three . I weare the Kings badge , yet flie from the King , And to a Misers Chest I profit bring . The words I haue are Latine , which implies That I should waite vpon the learn'd and wise , But for one Scholler , that can vnderstand , I haue seru'd twenty Artlesse fooles command . My seruice to the Poets haue bin euill , I ranne more swift from them , then from the Deuill , I know not well the cause , but they and I Together long could ne're keepe company . I haue a true excuse that will defend me , They * loue mee not , which makes e'm quickly spend me . But there 's no great loue lost twixt them and mee , VVe keepe asunder , and so best agree . They that doe loue me best beyond * Sea dwell , For there I am like to a soule in hell , From whence there 's no returning , and so I In the Low Countries or in Germanie , If they doe get me once vpon their shore , 'T is ten to one I ne're see England more , I haue seru'd Cut-purses , and high-way Fellowes , And I haue brought ten thousand to the Gallowes , Were he the arrantst Thiefe that euer ' twang'd , For my loue he would venture to be hang'd . Some Scriueners , and some Post Knights ( it appeares ) For louing me too much , haue lost their eares , There 's many a reuerend Bawde rode in a Cart , For bearing vnto me a louing hart . There 's many a sweet-fac'd Punk hath bin perplext , Whip'd , and behinde her * back , much grieu'd & vext , Some of my Masters would take paines to haue me , And like to Barbars , wash , clip , * poll , and shaue me , In this I onely differ from a Whore , We both haue wicked followers great store : The Whore they may kisse , clip and coll , and strip , Me they may safely kisse , but neuer clip . And now and then , like immitating Apes , With Brasse , Tin , Iron , they 'd counterfeit my shapes . They lou'd me more then honesty requires , But commonly the Hangman payes their hires . Thus though I be but of a small account , I haue had power to make my Masters mount , And some againe ( by their owne bad endeuour ) I haue had power to sinke them downe for euer . To some I am ( in comming ) showe as Lead , But quicke as Quick siluer , againe , soone fled . Suppose that any mischiefe that could be , Had lately bin by th' onely meanes of me , As casting good men into great distresse , T' vndoe the Widdow , and the Fatherlesse , A long delaide sure , longer to prolong , Or hang'd a guiltlesse man , that did no wrong : Corrupted a chaste Mayd , intic'd a Wife To folly , and to loath her Husbands life : If I had bin the meanes to worke all this , Or ten times more such actions of amisse , Yet doe I looke as white as Innocence , And neuer blush , at the most vile offence . Nay more , there 's none will ( for my faults ) refraine me , But euery one will straitway entertaine me . If treason ( through my means ) be thought or wrought , I neuer am vnto my triall brought : For I haue had the triall touch before , And am so knowne , I shall be tride no more . For though I be in ill , chiefe formost Actor , No man suspects me for a malefactor , And if there be one man that wlll reueale me , There are at least ten thousand will conceale me . Indeed I was a Pagan * borne at first , And since in Christendome I haue beene nurst , So they might haue me to encrease their pelfe , Many are turn'd , worse Pagans then my selfe . For I no God or diety did know , To whom I should my loue and seruice show : But they forsake their God , whom they know well , And make a God of me , an Infidell . So , though I be but of a Heathen state , I am no base Apostate , Reprobate . Looke on the hearbs , the flow'rs , the fruits , the Trees , Fowles of the ayre , the painefull lab'ring Bees , And aske their Owners why they breed and spring , His answere is , they must him money bring . Note but the toyling Plow-man , he is sowing He 's hedging , ditching , raking , reaping , mowing , Goes to bed late , and rises before day , And all to haue my company , hee 'll say , For me with dagled Gownes , and duty ham'd , The Hall at Westminster , i th' Tearme is cram'd , Such writing , running , sweating , interceading , Remouing Causes , Pleading , Counter-pleading , Aske the cause why , the answere true will be , Their wrangling and their strife is all for me . Looke in the Towne , how folkes throng to and fro , So thicke , one cannot for another goe , And how the Shops with Wares are furnish'd out : How euery one stares , pryes , and gapes about . Demaund the reason , all will answere make , They watch , and waite , cause they would money take . I know not why my reputation 's such , But still my credit hath beene wondrous much , I am more willing taken , now and then Then a seal'd Bond , of any * Aldermen , For by long proofe , the Prouerbe true doth say , That ready money euer will away . I am no worse then I haue beene of old , When thrice my worth , for me was bought and sold , For I could once haue paide a quarters rent . For a small Garden , and a Tenement , And that ( for me ) of Barly , Wheat or Rye , Three times as much as now a man might buy : The cause why now I not so much attaine , Is ( that I am not lighter halfe a graine ) But that through greedinesse , and hatefull pride , I still am ill imployde , and worse applide : For though the world be in a tott'ring state Yet am I constant alwayes at one rate , Let house , land , cloathes , food , high or lower rise , I am in value , alwayes at one sise , Raise the price vp , or let it fall downe lowe , A shilling is but Twelue pence , all men knowe . I am the same I was , 't is onely men Haue lost the consciences they harbour'd then . I might ( as they might vse me ) be a blessing , And they make me the cause of their transgressing , Some to obtaine me into mischiefe runne , And some to spend me haue destruction wonne : There 's many a Master , where I vs'd to dwell , That tooke delight ( with me ) to purchase hell . And all the vicious wayes they ranne aside , They made the deuill and I , their onely guide : ( Perhaps ) their Fathers went to hell to haue me , And their mad heires , runne the same way to leaue me , The whilst a haire-braind'd needy crew beset me , And gallop to the deu'll amayne , to get me . Thus vilely , how to get , and keepe , and spend me , Three quarters of the world doe still attend me . I haue made Mariages in many a place , Where hath bin neither beauty , wit , or grace , All 's one for that , I am of that high price , I can make vice seeme vertue , vertue vice . I am of that great power , and high command , In ioyning house to house , and land to land : That where one hath a dwelling to abide , One hundred knowes not where their heads to hide : And as one may three hundred Tenants haue , Fiue hundred knowes not where to haue a graue . For though from Earth man hath originall , And to the Earth , from whence he came doth fall , Though he be Earth , and can claime nought but earth , ( As the fraile portion due vnto his birth ) Yet many thousands that the earth doth breed , Haue no place ( certaine ) where to lodge or feed : In which respect mens pleasures are behinde The Birds , and Beasts , for they contentment finde With the prouision that dame Nature giues , Free ( without money ) euery Creature liues , Their foode , attire , their Caues , dens , holes , and nests They haue , and hold , as their owne interests . And man , that hath a reasonable soule , Whose reason countermaunds each beast and fowle , Within whose face , a Maiestie is seated , Beyond all Creatures that were e're created ; Yet let him but want money , and 't is plaine , He 's th' onely briefe and abstract or disdaine , Despised , scorn'd , deiected , and contemn'd , And round about with miseries behem'd . Search all the worlds Records from age to age , And view Times variable Pilgrimage : Note that though Fortune ( in her tott'ring guise ) Hath play'd at Foot-ball with great Monarchies , Yet shall you finde how euer States haue varied , How euer things were caried or miscaried , That money still bare the commanding sway , To whom both right and wrong , and all obay . Should all the Witches in the whole world sit In Counsell , and imploy their damned wit , And haue the aydes of all the fiends in hell , With many a mumbling Necromantick spell , And all this toyle and paines of theirs should be , To bring Pecunia into infamie , To cast my Lady Argent in disgrace , And make some other thing supply her place : The fruits of all their labours they should finde , Would be like throwing feathers 'gainst the winde : For in mans heart 't is rooted with such loue , That nothing else but Death can it remoue . And many humane reasons doth approue it , That aboue all things earthly he should loue it . Do'st thou want honour , money straite will buy it , Although ten thousand needy Slaues enuie it . Would'st haue an office thy estate to reare , Money will helpe thee to 't man , neuer feare : Do'st want wit how to guide and gouerne it ? If thou hast money thou canst want no wit. Art thou a damned Matchiuillian , Thy money makes thee held an honest man. Hast thou a scuruie face , take this of me , If thou hast money 't is not seene in thee . Would'st haue a whore , a Coach , smoke , drink or drie ? Money will bring thee all at any price . Would'st haue all pleasures in variety , Money will thy insatiate wants supply : Then seeing money can doe what it will , Haue not men reason to regard it still ? Some thinges there are that Money cannot win , But they are thinges men take small pleasure in ; As Heau'n , and a good Conscience , Vertue , Grace , Hee that loues Money , cannot these imbrace . For he whose heart to Money , is inclin'd , Of thinges Coelestiall hath but little minde . If Money were a Woman , I doe fee Her Case most pitty pittifull would bee , Because I thinke shee would no louers haue , Except a Gowty miserable Knaue : One that all night would by her lye and Grone , Grip'd with the Collicke , or tormenting Stone , With stinking , Coughing , Grunting , spitting , spauling , And nothing but Contagious Catterwalling . Besides hee 'd be so Iealious day and night , He would not suffer her goe out of 's sight : That sure I thinke her Case farre worse would be Then is the Turkish Galley slauery . For none but such as those whome Age hath got , Are in the Loue of Money extreame hot . And when as Hearing , Sent , and Tast , and Sight , Are gone , yet Feeling Money 's their Delight . The whilest a Young-man , full of strength and pride , Would make her Goe by water , Run and Ride , Force her in all thinges to supply his neede , For Recreation , or to Cloath and Feede , Compell her to Maintaine him fine and Braue , And in a word make her his Drudge or Slaue , And all his Loue to her would bee so so , For hee 'd but kisse her , and so let her goe . Thus if It were a Woman as I say , Her Case were Lamentable euery way : For Olde men within Doores would euer worr'y her , & Youngmen round about the world wold hurry her , That were she matchd with either young or old , Her miseries would still be manifold . But this Commaunding bright Imperious Dame , Vsde well or ill , Shee 's euermore the same : Locke her , order her loose , she Cares not which , She still hath power the whole world to bewitch . I call to minde , I heard my Twelue-pence say , That hee hath oft at Christmas bin at play : At Court , at th'Innes of Court , and euery where Throughout the Kingdome , being farre and neere . At Passage , and * Mumchance , at In and in , Where Swearing hath bin Counted for no Sinne , Where Fullamshigh and * Loanmen Bore great sway , With the quicke helpe of a Band Cater Trey . My shilling said such swaggering there would be Amongst the wrangling Knaues for me ( quoth he ) Such shoueing , sholdring , thrusting , thronging , setting , Such striuing , crowding , iustling and such betting , Such storming , fretting , fuming , chafing , sweating , Resuse , renounce me , damne me , swearing , cheating , So many heauy curses , plagues and poxes , Where all are losers , but the Butlers boxes : That sure in hell the Deuils are in feare , To curse and to blaspheme as they doe there . Whilst without touch of conscience , or of sence , They abuse th' Almighties great Omnipotence , And all this wicked stirre that they doe make , Is me from one another how to rake . That though I were a Pagan borne , I see They make themselues much worse , to pocket me . These Gamesters make this time , a time of mirth , In memory of their blest Sauiours birth : Whose deare remembrance , they doe annually Obserue with extreame odious gluttony , With gurmondizing beastly belly filling , With swinish drinking , and with drunken swilling , With Ribald Songs , Iigges , Tales , & gawdy cloathes , VVith bitter cursings , and most fearefull Oathes , That sure my shilling saith , the Heathen will Not entertaine the deuill halfe so ill ; But worship Saethan in more kinde behauiour , Then some professed Christians doe their Sauiour . In Saturnes raigne when money was vnfound , Then was that age with peace and plenty crown'd , Then mine was thine , Thine mine , and all our liues , All things in common were , except our wiues . But now the case is altred ( as they say ) Quite topsie-turuy the contrary way : For now mens wealth is priuately kept close , The whilst their wiues are commonly let lose . For he whom loue of money doth besot For 's owne soule , or 's wiues body , much cares not . It bewitch'd Aohan at the siege of Ai , For which the Israelites did lose the day : It made Gehezie false in his affaires , And gain'd the Leprosie for him , and 's heires , It with th'Apostle Iudas bore such sway , That it made him the Lord of life betray ; And Anaenias and his wretched wife , By suddaine death it made them lose their life ; And Diuine stories , and prophane , recite Examples of such matters infinite , 'T is said in Salomons Dominions , That Siluer was as plenty as the Stones : But sure the Sinne of Couetise was not Amongst them either borne , or scarce begot . For all that Siluer , and a great deale more , Rak'd and Rip'd from the Europian shore , From AEsia , and Sun-parched Africa , And from the wombe of vaust America , From which last place the Potent King of Spaine , Eleuen Millious in one yeare did gaine , And from Pottozzy Mines he Dayly had Three hundred thirty thousand Ryals made . To speake what mighty summes King Dauid won , And left them vnto Salomon his Son , Of Gold one hundred thousand Talents fine , Siluer one Thousand thousand , from the Mine , Besides from Ophir he had at the least , Three thousand Golden talents of the best . Iosephus doth of Dauids Tombe thus write , How th'hidden Treasure there was infinite , The Basons , Candlestickes , and Censors all , Lampes , Organs , Instruments most Musicall , Ports , Altar , Tables , Hindges the Gates to holde , They were all made of pure Refined Golde . Besides 600. Shields and Targets more , The King causde all with Golde bee plated o're . Besides the Richnes of his Royall Throne , The like whereof elsewhere a was neuer none . When the Great Macedonian did subdue Darius , b and his haples Persian Crew , 'T is said his Treasure did so much abound , Twenty nine thousand Tallents there was found . And more he faith ( if we may Credit this ) How that in Susa and c Persepolis They found , of Siluer to Encrease their store , One hundred seauenty thousand Talents more . When Cirus Conquer'd Cressus , d Cressus lost Three hundred Millions of good Golde almost , 'T is writ that Midas e Treasure so amounted Innumerable , not to be Accounted , Sardanapalus an Assirian f King Neere eight score Millions to the Fire did bring . VVhere Fifteene dayes did burne his house , and pelfe , His whores , and ( 'mongst the rest ) his wretched selfe . And Plutarch faith , Marke g Anthony spent cleare Of Golde , full Sixe score Millions in one yeare . VVhat should I speake of Cleopatraes Treasures , Or wealth , or Triumphs of the Roman Caesars . Or what they were whose riches haue bin such , Or who they are that now possesse too much , But here 's the question , seeing times of old Did yeeld such store of siluer and of gold , And seeing daily more and more is found , Digg'd in abundance from the solide ground , I muse which way the deuill all is gone , That I , and thousand thousands can haue none . I know my selfe as able to abuse it , As any man that knowes well how to vse it , But sure I neuer should my Master make it , But as my seruant take it , and forsake it . I haue described in particular What Twelue-pence is , how it hath trauell'd far : How to all ages , Sexes , Trades , and Arts , It comes and goes , it tarries and departs : I could tell further how it doth command , In pressing men to serue by sea or land , How Bakers thirteene penny loaues doe giue All for a shilling , and thriue well and liue . How it a pottle of good Clarret buyes , How 't is a quart of rich Canaries prise , How for a thousand things 't is daily ranging , And is so round a summe , it needes no changing , How vp and downe the world he still doth firrit , And takes no more rest then an ayery spirit . Then at the last my Muse to minde doth call , The mighty power of money in generall , And how all ages still haue had good store , Musing the cause my selfe can haue no more . And Money hauing writ all this for thee , Shew not thy selfe ingratefull vnto mee : But as I know thou canst , so preethee grant That when I want thou wilt supply my want , Reward thy Poet , that doth set thee forth , I 'le loue thee still , according to thy worth . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13495-e870 No mā da●● confesse h●● whole life● actions , as twelue-pen●● doth . * Where the best metta●● doe grow , Earth is n●● barren , wh●● is an Emb●● that they t●● hoord or h●● money , barren of fruits of go●●ness . * Purchase . * Polidore Virgil. Me●●es might ●e the first ●●uenter of ●oyne in E●●pt , yet not ●f a Twelue-pence , but I ●●inke money ●as in ●●ains time , I am sure ●●at Abra●am bought ● field for bu●●all with ●oney . * A small piece of Sp●●nish Coyne●● sixe of them to an Engli●● penny . * Souldiers ●●●●ng t●eir 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 will to 〈◊〉 * A brasse piece of Bohemians coyn● twelue of them to a penny . The Anatomy of twelue-pence or a shilling . Fiue Shillings weigh●● an ounce . * In Engli●● I haue put ●● placed ) G●● my helpe●● * Annagra●● of the Lat●● Motto of Posui pla●●●into Englis● words , W●●dom adm●● me Power * The Annagram turn'd ●●ckward , ●isedome ●●●es behind ●●●ey . * King Edw. a●s crowned 〈◊〉 nine yeares 〈◊〉 a●● and ●●ed before 〈◊〉 was 6. * Edw. sh●●lings for t●● most part are used a● shooue-bor●● * Vpon t●● Crosse of a Twelue-pence . * Heere I meane ge●●ally of m●ney , and simply of twelue p●● * K. Ed●● Q. Mar● Qu. E●● & K 〈◊〉 all their ●●●lings of weight 〈◊〉 and before my 〈◊〉 - pence * 〈…〉 * 〈…〉 * 〈…〉 ●iogenes Twelue●●● is at ●●●● . * On mon●● 〈◊〉 or the 〈◊〉 of this 〈◊〉 true on 〈◊〉 owne ●●●wledge . 〈◊〉 if a ●●●wer be 〈◊〉 so good ●●●an , yet ●●ry paltry 〈◊〉 will 〈◊〉 fill 〈◊〉 Wine . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 all 〈◊〉 Masters 〈◊〉 Twelue - 〈◊〉 , not in 〈◊〉 as they 〈◊〉 degree , 〈◊〉 calling , 〈◊〉 as hee ●●●●iled 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , good 〈◊〉 bad , poore 〈◊〉 rich , ●●●●out any 〈◊〉 . Heare are a strange gal●●mawfrey of Twelue-pences Maste●● honest men and Kna●●● like hearb●● and weede● in a Hotch●potch . * Poets and money are i● emulation . * 〈…〉 * 〈…〉 * 〈…〉 * 〈◊〉 first and a●ongst Pa●ans and ●●eathen . All men ●●bour for ●●ney , bu●● with al●● deuotion * Ready ●●ney is as 〈◊〉 as any m●●●● Bond. ●●●●●●ng is ●●nstant ●●●●●nce . ●●● I speake ●●ally of ●●●ey . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 * And tw●● games more * False ' Di● 〈◊〉 shilling ●●●o Puritan 〈◊〉 all this . ●peake not ●●ainst ho●●●t mirth , ●●ndly Ga●●ng , nor good cheere but against the unlawfull use of these Recre●●tions , and abuse of Go●● Ioshua 7. 2. Kings 5. Acts 5. Kings . 10. 7. Purcas . Chron. 22. A Tallent of Golde is in ●alue 600 . ●rownes . ●oseph in the ●●● . Booke of ●is Antiqui●ies . a And 〈◊〉 the Captan●● 5000. Talents , and 10000. pe●●ces of Gold and 1000 ● talents of Si●●uer , besid●● Brasse and Iron . b Quint●● Curtius . c 2 Citties in Persia. d About 60. Millions of Crownes . e A King of Phrigia . f A most Licentious Prince . g Of Crown●● which was pay . 〈…〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Mone●● 
A13497	----	Stripping, vvhipping, and pumping. Or, The five mad shavers of Drury-Lane strangely acted, and truely related. Done in the period, latter end, tayle, or rumpe of the dogged dogge-dayes, last past, August. 1638. Together with the names of the severall parties which were actors in this foule businesse. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1638 Approx. 19 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 11 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13497 STC 23795.3 ESTC S122283 99857435 99857435 23174 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13497) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 23174) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1611:17) Stripping, vvhipping, and pumping. Or, The five mad shavers of Drury-Lane strangely acted, and truely related. Done in the period, latter end, tayle, or rumpe of the dogged dogge-dayes, last past, August. 1638. Together with the names of the severall parties which were actors in this foule businesse. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [4], 19, [1] p. : ill. (woodcut) Printed by I[ohn] O[kes] for T. Lambert, London : 1638. By John Taylor. Printer's name from STC. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng London (England) -- Social life and customs -- Early works to 1800. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-07 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2002-07 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-08 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Stripping , VVhipping , and Pumping . OR , The five mad Shavers of Drury-Lane ; Strangely Acted , and truely Related . Done in the Period , latter end , Tayle , or Rumpe of the Dogged Dogge-dayes , last past , August . 1638. Together with the names of the severall parties which were Actors in this foule businesse . LONDON : Printed by I. O. for T. Lambert . 1638. Stripping , VVhipping , and Pumping : OR , The Five mad Shavers of Drury-lane . WIthin the large Circumference of this great Theater , and Stage of the World , all people , Kingdomes , and Nations , Males or Females , of all ages and degrees , are Actors of such parts as they have studied , either from the Rules and Inspirations of Vertue , or from their owne inclinations , and Sathans suggestions to Vice. And the Devill w●ll knowing our fraile and weake conditions and instability , doth every day and houre ( like a cunning Iugler or a Gipsy ) devise new Tumbling casts and feats of Activity 〈◊〉 allure and delight the minds of as many as he findes to be addicted to take pleasure in his Le●gerdemaine . Hee gives a false sweete-seeming rellish to the Drunkards Cup , he ●ars the Glut●on against the day of slaughte● , he tips the Blaspheamers tongue with Oaths and Curses , he wher 's the Slanderers and backbiters speech , and makes it keene and cutting ; hee teaches the rare and ancient Ar● of Lying , ( and hath 〈◊〉 innumerable ●umber of apt 〈…〉 Scholl●●s ) hee turnes ang 〈…〉 venge , Revenge into Murd 〈…〉 to Impie●y , Truth into Theft● Love into Jealousie , Jealousie into hatred and madnesse ; and ( in a word ) to summe up all together , the Devill doth labou● dayly , and all his endeavour is wholly bent to make worke for the Hangman , and draw soules to his Infernall Kingdome . And amongst all the ●icks and sleights which this Grand cunning Master of mischiefe doth use , to bring us to destruction with all , there is no one policy of his that is more prevalent and advantagious to him , than is the sowing of discord and debate betwixt Man and Wife ; and although he hath a thousand innumerable wayes for the effecting of his damnable projects and purposes , yet Jealousie is the chiefe and maine Engine to bring it so to passe , that modesty shall be turn'd into madnesse , peace into strife , and love into hatred and mischiefe , as shall be shewed in this short following Treatise . About the latter end of August last , 1638. this hellish fire of Jealousie did most strangely inflame five Women , whom my Pen should not name , nor should they be knowne by any writing of mine , but that they and their mad and barbarous proceedings are too much true , and too many wayes scattred and spread abroad by sundry Pens and Tongues , some of them making the matter that was ( and is ) bad enough already , worse ; some mincing it , to make it better ; some for affection , some for malice ; some for flattery , and some as their idle and various humours please , doe report it as they list to frame it , not caring whether they speake or write truth or falsehood . The matter hath beene Rim'd upon beyond Reason , and therefore I hold it Reason it should be related with truth , and thus it was . At the time , or neare the time aforesaid , one Master Evans , a Barber in Drury-lane , did chance to meete with one Ioane Ilsley in the Streete , and belike the woman had formerly kept the said Evans his wife when shee lay in Child-bed , in which season ( of Gander-month or Wander-month ) perhaps the suspicious woman began to be a little inkindled with the sparkles of jealousie : but suspicion is no proofe● but Evans afterwards , when hee by chance once met the woman , offered her ● Pint of Wine , which after some d●nyall was at last accepted : So in they went to a Taverne ( the Signe of the Phoenix ) n●●re the lower end of Drury-lane , behind , or on the back-side of the Bell , which is an Inne and a Taverne in the Easterne part of the Strand : But they being over their one Pint , in a low Roome , and a Drawer standing at the Tables end , the one sitting on one side of the Boord , and the other on the other side , so that there neither was nor could bee any immodesty said or done at that time : but some busie-body or other went and told Evans his wife , that her Husband was at the Taverne drinking with Ioane Ilsley , whereupon she went in a heate to the Phoenix , and found them there , upon whom shee bestowed such hot and hasty language as her tongue could afford , which made them breake company , ( some of the words were , she told the said Ioane that she was naught with her Husband ) But some few daies after , Mistris Evans ( being still jealously angry ) did breake her minde to some women , her neighbours , and withall made a shew to Ioane that her anger was past against her , so that agreement was made , that a Pigge should be eaten at Mistris Evans her house at night , and that in a faire seeming way Ioane Ilsly should be sent for as a loving guest invited to the Pigge . At the time appointed the Pigge was roasted , and the women dissembled , were assembled , and simple Ioane was sent for , who ( poore wench ) not suspecting the sharpnesse or sowernesse of the Feast , suspecting nothing , went to them , and being come amongst them , they seemed very friendly and courteously to entertaine and bid her welcome : to whom Mistris Evans said , 〈◊〉 prethee Ioane , thou art well acquainted with my house , goe up into the upper Chamber , and fetch downe some stooles for us to sit on , so innocent Ioane went quickly up the staires for stooles , and presently there followed her three of the five Women , to wit , Evans Wife , one Cox his Wife , and one Fosters Wife ; these three had with them a per●iworth of Birchin Rods , after whom followed the other two , to wit , one Smiths wife a Broker , & one Mistris Lee a widdow , then they beganne to revile her in most strange manner , and withall to lay hands on her , to plucke her cloathes violently off from her body , but she resisted and strived and strugled with them as long as she could , till at last they tore her apparrell off from her , then having her naked , they beganne their execution , some to hold her , and some to whippe her , so that the smart , and their harsh usage inforc'd her to beginne to cry ; which they perceiving stopt her mouth ●ith a clout or a handkerchiefe : Then ●the first penny-worth of rods being wasted to the st●mps they fetch'd , or sent for two penny-worth more● and after they had whipped them out upon her , they sent for one penny-worth more : ( still stopping her mouth , that her crying might not be heard ) Shee being thus naked , and all gore-bloody , they cald up 〈…〉 bade him bring up a Bason of water , & a Razor , which the boy did ; but when he came within the Chamber doore he was abashed and ashamed , and threw downe the Razor and Bason , running downe the staires as fast as hee could : the one of the women tooke up the Razor , meaning to doe I know not what with it . But Ioane being used thus harshly by them , and in bodily feare of some worse abuse , did strive against them , in which scuming shee received a cut , or wound in her backe , neare the shoulder , with the Razor . This extreamity being past , these Women ( if I may so call them ) had 〈◊〉 much modesty as to make fast 〈◊〉 Apron , or halfe a Kir●●e before her , over the fore-part of her body , and as she was , being cut , whipped , and all bloody over , they haled and thrust her downe the staires , and pump'd her at a Pumpe which was in Evans his backe ●ide : after that they thrust her into the streete , ( i● being betweene ten , and eleven of the Clocke at night ) and from the streete ( or Dr●ry Lane ) they puld and ●ug●●her ( with her haire about her eares ) into a Court called Reine-Deere Court , where at a Pumpe they held her under the spout , and pump'd Water upon her , and us'd her more shamefully than is fit to write of , still stopping her mouth with a clout● also in the Yard , at the last Pumpe , there were two men that did abuse her , one Smith was one : but shee striving with them had her Kirtle or Apron torne off from her , so ●●at shee had nothing to cover her ●●rkasse , but the darknesse of the Night . At last this bu●ling was overheard by an honest Coach-man , whose name is Thomas Finch , who marvailing what it might bee that made such a stirre at that time of night : hee and his Wife comming to the Pumpe , finding a Woman in such a pittifull plight , so handled by such rough and pittilesse Creatures , he ( in humanity ) rescued her from them , and suddenly pluck'd off his Horse-mans Coate , and coverd her nakednesse : whereupon her Adversaries ( or lawlesse executioners ) all forsooke her , and dispers't themselves , it is no great matter whither . The Coach-man demanded of the poore abused creature what she was , and wherefore they had used her so cruelly : and she answer'd , that shee was a poore yong Woman that did get her living by Nursing and keeping of Childe-bed Women , and also that sometimes shee did attend and kee●● sicke folkes , and that she at that ti●● was a Keeper or Waiter on a si●ke Gentleman ( a Captaine ) at the signe of the Helmet in the Strand : he asked her further where her cloathes were , and wherefore those women had us'd her so ? and she answer'd him , that they had torne and rent her cloathes in pie●es , and also that shee had five shillings of money in one of her Pockets : wherupon the Coach-man did pitty her hard estate and usage , and withall did bring her presently home to the aforesaid Signe of the Helmet , where shee dwelt , and doth remaine yet to this twelfth of October , 1638. being much bruised and hurt , and spets blood . Now Reader I imagine you have not heard of such a mad crew of Shavers , Whippers , and politicke Pumpers ; nor doe I thinke that any Penne , or relation of tongue or History doth mention the like . After shee had recoverd a little ●●rength , she procured Warrants from 〈◊〉 Justice of the Peace ; which when the matter was heard and understood , they were bound all of them to answer for this outrage to the Woman , the spoiling of her , and her Apparrell , and the losse of her money ; but they did put in good Baile for their appearance at the Sessions , and on the eight and twentieth of September they went to Westminster to save their Baile and Recognisence : ( Quarter Sessions being then holden there ) from which tryall , they have by a Writ of Sursarara remov'd their cause up to the right honourable Court of Kings Bench , but as they were returning homeward , some women ( belike that had heard of their desperate and unmannerly exployts ) as soone as they saw them passe did raile on them , and revile them most scoldingly eloquent ; and withall so embroydered them with dirt , which they cast at them , that they seemed more like Ladies of the soyle , than women of any meane degree . And thus have these five foolish women run●● themselves into sixe pecks of trouble : How it will bee answered and ended time will shew , if the Reader hath the patience to stay so long . These are the fruits of mad-braind , Hare-braind , shallow-braind jealousie ; for as the Pedegree of cure ( or remedy ) may bee thus delineated : Itch begat Scratch ● Scratch was the Father of Scabbe ; Scabbe begat Sore , to whom Smart succeeded ; then Smart was the Father of Paine ; Paine begat Griefe , who was the Sire of Care , and Care begat Cure : So Idle thoughts are the fathers of Whisperings ; Whisperings begat Pratling , Babling , Talking , Lying , Slandering ; these Mongrels are for the most part begotten at Gossippings , and are the incurable Issues or Fistulaes of wicked mindes : from them Fame sends out Rumour , Report , and Heare-say ; and they set Malice , Backebiting , and Slander on worke , who are so double diligent in their damnable Devices , that they doe never cease working , till such time as they have h●led Jealousie by the eares out of the Dungeon of Hell : and sure there is no Tiger or Beare when they are robbed , or bereaved of their Whelpes , so divelish mad as a jealous man or woman . It hath beene indeed too often knowne that Beauty hath beene the ruine of Chastity , ( if grace guide and guard it not ) and as the flattery of men may overcome the weaknesse of women , so the wiles and snares of subtile Strumpets have intangled and ruin'd too many men ; for ●ole , Deianeira , and Omphale , were too hard for Hercules , and one of them made him lay by his Club , and fall to spinning with a Dista●fe . The Queene of Love subdu'd the god of Warre , and the same Venus naked , did foile Pallas who was arm'd on Mount Ida : and whosoever hee be that sowes kisses on such lips as are lasciviously manur'd with the dung of temptation , shall be sure to reape 〈◊〉 Harvest either of contempt , diseases , beggery , and defamation ; for the world is full of examples and presiden●s of many thousand , that have reap'd such a crop as they have sowne . That man that is yoak'd with a scold , that will be jealous without cause ; o●●ly because she will be so ; and for that surmise and slander shee like a Devill doth make her house her Husbands continuall Hell : Surely such a man is partly happy , if withall hee hath the vertue of Patience , ( as wife Socrates had with his Xantippe ) for hee that is match'd with such a Fiend , hath no need to care where he goes , nor what society he keeps ; nor hath he reason to be affraid of any harme that any wicked company can doe him , for the Devill himselfe will not hurt him that is match'd with one of his Sister . But if any shuttle-witted fellow , that is wedded to a chaste and modest woman , and is so farre troubled with a wild buzzing ●●d-flye in his braines , that he nothing but dreames of supposed invisible Hornes , such a kind of Cacadudgeon C●xcombe , doth justly deserve to have beene match'd to a wench whose heeles had beene lighter than his head , and then hee might meritoriously have made a Combe of a Fire-forke , and worne an Oxe-feather in his Hat without wrong or injury : in a word , there is nothing can grieve or torment the heart either of a good man or woman , than to finde their truth , constancy , loyalty , and honest integrity suspected or question'd ; for let it be truely weighed and considered , what hurt or occasion of suspicion can be for a man to give a woman a part of one Pint of wine , in an open low roome in a publick Taverne ? it is not to bee doubted but such accidents doe happen dayly , at the least a thousand , and yet for all that there is not one Whoore or Cuckold the more : but when as rashnesse addes waxen wings ( like those of Icarus ) of indiscretion and inconsideration , and that either the man or the woman are mounted or soar'd aloft to the height of Love-killing hell-borne jealousie , then doth the furious heate and flame of rage melt those deceitfull and suspicious wings , wings whereby the jealous party drops and tumbles downe headlong into the bottomelesse Ocean of irreperable disgrace and infamy . The envy and inveterate hate of wicked women is almost past thought ; Envy is the mistresse of injustice ; it stirreth and inciteth both the thought and the hand to all ill and wicked actions : and that envy which is secret and hidden , is more to bee feared than that which is open and manifest : such was the secret malice of this Barbers wife , whose jealousie did burne a great while within her , and at length her envy did burst out into a flame , and so hath brought ruine and disgrace to her and her Husband , which is so farre distant : And if any woman be so full of wrath and revengefull as this woman is , and her associates , and especially if they know that they have power of command , or authority , they will soone bring all to destruction : for they will plot either to poyson , stob , or else some ther way make their will and passions their Law : and therefore I advise all to learne this saying , rather to be affraid of that renowne and credit which is dishonest and shamefull , for they plotted this businesse , because they would he talk'd on hereafter . Suppose this I●●●e had beene guilty of a fault , must these Women be their owne revengers , their owne witnesses , their owne Judges ? must they have the Law in ●●eir owne hands , thus to usurpe● 〈◊〉 wholsome Lawes , and make havo●● of a woman in this un●ill mann●●● Women shall I call them● nay , rather monsters : or else some evill spirit in their shapes , to commit such inhumane and unnaturall acts as these : such actions they be that are past example , nay ; never the like heard of , to commit such uncivill actions , and upon their owne Sexe , whose civill carriage should be example to the younger sort ; their actions were such , as I said before , that I blush to relate them , and ought not to be divulg'd no lowder than a whisper : The Heathens that knew not God would not have done the like : nay , the wilde beasts of the wildernesse would have pursu'd to de●th such beasts as rapin'd and live upon the spoyle of other beasts ; they themselves punish , and shall these creatures hate these acts which a Christian commits , and we commit them ? but their punishment no doubt will be inflicted upon them according to their deserts ; and my second part , which I will shortly publish , shall shew their confessions and their punishments : And so I end this Relation , wishing their sufferings may be an example to others , that none dare attempt such uncivill and immodest actions hereafter . FINIS . 
A13498	----	The subjects joy for the Parliament [by] Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1621 Approx. 7 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 1 1-bit group-IV TIFF page image. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13498 STC 23795.7 ESTC S3340 33143345 ocm 33143345 28399 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13498) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 28399) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1885:20) The subjects joy for the Parliament [by] Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1 sheet ([1] p.) : ill., port. Printed by Edw. All-de for H.G. and are to be sold by Edw. Wright, [London] : [1621] Date of publication from STC (2nd ed.). Text enclosed in architectural border, with port. of King James I at head of text. Imperfect: faded. Reproduction of original in: Society of Antiquaries. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng England and Wales. -- Parliament -- Poetry. Broadsides -- London (England) -- 17th century. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-09 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-06 Olivia Bottum Sampled and proofread 2002-06 Olivia Bottum Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-07 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE Subjects Ioy , For the Parliament . IACOBVS REX . SVch and so great , all mans Corruption is In shunning Good , and running to Amisse : That the Almighty , did long since ordaine Lawes , that should our rebellious wils restraine . And from that Parlament , of highest Heauen A Statute , and an Ordinance was giuen , That from those Lawes of the Eternall King , All other Lawes ( that gouerne men ) should spring . And as the Sea in Riuers , Creekes and Bayes , Flowes , and disperses many seuerall wayes : So doth Gods Acts in many Branches run , To shew vs what should be vndone , or done . For this cause did the power of Heauen ordaine , That Kings ( like Gods ) on Earth should Rule and Raigne : To Iudge , to be a Refuge , and Defence With Right , of too much wronged Innocence . And for this cause , God doth a King command , That he his Lawes should Read * and vnderstand . And sure , of All the Kingdomes that there are Beneath the Heauens , none may with vs compare : To vs th' Almighty , graciously did grant Freely his Sacred Gospell heere to plant , Making Great Brittaine an Admired mirror , ( When other Nations blindly liue in Error . ) For vs a matchles King , he out did picke , Defendor of the Faith Apostolicke , Who all his Lawes and Statutes doth encline , Conformable vnto the Lawes Diuine . Gods Law in euery faithfull heart * is writ , And our Kings Gouernment doth witnes it . And now these Eighteene yeares a blessed Peace , Hath made our sinnes ( more then our thankes ) increase , That breach of Lawes , hath sowen neglected seedes , Being almost growne vnprofitable weedes : Our Gracious King , these euils to preuent , Assembled hath a Royall Parlament . The high Creator , made this Kingly Creature His Steward , by his Office , Name , and Nature , And he doth guide and Rule this happy Land , As he is guided by th' Almighties hand . And though a King hath Honour and Renowne , Yet many Cares attend vpon a Crowne : And though a King a Royall port doth keepe , Yet doth he wake , when Subject ; often sleepe . And had not our dread Soueraigne , bin protected By the Almighty , who hath him directed , Wee could not haue enioyed such Peace and Rest , Wherewith so many yeares wee haue bin blest . And as hee now hath caus'd a Parlament , God still be present there , and President : Let the Kings heart as it hath done perseuer , That God may haue the Glory , now and euer . ( Like Dauid ) let him not from goodnes start , But bee a man according to Gods heart . Let Salomons great Wisdome euer bee In him , that Good from Ill he may fore-see : Let him with Iosua's courage ( Constantly ) The Deuill , the world , and eke the Flesh defie . And let him ( like to Moses ) euer write , And ordaine Lawes that may be Iust and Right . Like faithfull Hushaies * be his Counsell still , To giue Aduice according to thy will. Guide thou the Reuerend Bishops , and the Peeres , The Iudges , and elected Knights , of Shires , And Burgesses of Townes within this Land , Doe thou ( O God ) amidst their Counsell stand . Let all their Consultations , still depend To beate downe Vice , and Vertue to defend : Thy Gospell to increase and propagate , And for the Good of Common-wealth and State. The Pride of Haman , farre from them expell , Confound the Counsell of Ahitophell : Plucke Heresies vp by the very Roote , And tread proude Antichrist quite vnder foote . Banish 〈◊〉 , leaprous with base Bribes , Papisticke Pharises , Sophisticke Scribes : And those that wholsome Lawes can wrest and wring , For gaine 'gainst Conscience , Country , and their King. Thus being guided by thy blessed Spirit , They will accomplish Statutes worthy merit : That after Ages gladly may Receiue The Acts , and Orders , which our times must leaue . Let Prince , and Peeres , and people thus Combine , The profit will bee ours , the Glory thine : And as thy Blessings hath bin multiplyde Vpon our Kingdome , let them still abide : Let not our Sinnes as a partition bee , Or make vs be as castawayes to thee . Let not our Crimes thy Indignation moue , Whereby they may vs seperate from thy Loue : But as thy fauours to Vs haue bin such , As neuer any Kingdome had so much , So let our thankfulnes to thee therefore , Bee euery day expressed more and more . Protect the King with thy Almighty Armes , Saue him from Forraine and Domesticke harmes : At all times with thy heauenly Grace relieue him , And after Death a Crowne of Glory giue him . Preserue for euermore , our gracious Prince , And strength him , his and thy Foes to conuince , The Prince and Princesse Palatines high Grace , With all the Royall and the hopefull Race : Defend them Against all that them oppose , And fight their Battels still against their Foes . Grant that of this Seed we may ne're want one , To magnifie thy Name in Britaines Throne : Vntill our Sauiour , and thy onely Sonne , Shall come in Iudgement , and the world be done . To whom with thee and with the Holy Ghost , Bee rendred ( euery where from Coast to Coast ) All Honour , Glory , Power , Might , Praise , Thanks-giuing , To thee three Persons , one GOD , euer-liuing . FINIS . Iohn Taylor Printed by E All-de for H. G. and are to be solde by Edw : Wright . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13498-e10 * Deu. 17. 15 * Heb. 8. 10. * 2 Sam. 15. 
A13499	----	Sir Gregory Nonsence his newes from no place Written on purpose, with much study to no end, plentifully stored with want of wit, learning, iudgement, rime and reason, and may seeme very fitly for the vnderstanding of nobody. Toyte, Puncton, Ghemorah, Molushque, Kaycapepson. This is the worke of the authors, without borrowing or stealing from others. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1622 Approx. 31 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 15 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13499 STC 23795 ESTC S101248 99837064 99837064 1370 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13499) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 1370) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 977:14) Sir Gregory Nonsence his newes from no place Written on purpose, with much study to no end, plentifully stored with want of wit, learning, iudgement, rime and reason, and may seeme very fitly for the vnderstanding of nobody. Toyte, Puncton, Ghemorah, Molushque, Kaycapepson. This is the worke of the authors, without borrowing or stealing from others. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [28] p. [By N[icholas] O[kes]] and are to bee sold betweene Charing-Crosse, and Algate, Printed in London : 1700 [i.e. 1622] Printer's initials and actual publication date appear in colophon; printer's name from STC. In verse. Signatures: A-B (-A1, B8). Margins cropped, affecting imprint date. Reproduction of the original in the Folger Shakespeare Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-08 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-09 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2002-09 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion SIR Gregory Nonsence His Newes from no place . Written on purpose , with much study to no end , plentifully stored with want of wit , learning , Iudgement , Rime and Reason , and may seeme very fitly for the vnderstanding of Nobody . Toyte , Puncton , Ghemorah , Molushque , Kaycapepson . This is the worke of the Authors , without borrowing or stealing from others . By Iohn Taylor . Printed in London , and are to bee sold betweene Charing-Crosse , and Algate . To the ( Sir Reuerence ) Rich Worshipped , Master Trim Tram Senceles , great Image of Authority and Hedgborough of the famous City of Goteham , and to the rest of that admired and vnmatchable Senate , with their Corruptions and Families . MOst Honorificicabilitudinitatibus , I hauing studied the seuen Lubberly Sciences ( being nine by computation ) out of which I gathered three coniunctions foure mile Asse-vnder , which with much labour , and great ease , to little or no purpose , I haue Noddicated to your gray graue and grauelled Prate ection . I doubt not but I might haue had a Patrone neerer hand , as the Deane of Dunstable , or the Beadle of Layton Buzzard , but that I know the p●●rase , Method and Stile , is not for euery mans vnderstanding , no my most renowned Pythagor-Asses , for you this Hogshead of inuention was brewed and broched , for I am ignorantly perswaded that your wisedome , can pick as much matter out of this Booke in one day as both the Vniuersities can in twelue moneths , and thirteene Moones , with sixe times foure yeeres to boot . I know your bounties too exding , for as old mother Baly said , the wit of man was much when she saw a dog muzzled . Euery man is not borne to make a Monument for the Cuckoo ; to send a Trifoote home alone , to driue sheepe before they haue them , or to Trundle Cheeses down a hill . So saluting you with more prespect then the Maior of Loo , did the Queenes Ape , I take leaue to leaue you , and rest yours to bid you welcome , if you came within a mile of my house to stay all night . Yours Rolihayton . To Nobody . VVpon a Christmas Euen , som what night Easter , anon after Whitsontide , walking in a Coach from London to Lambeth by water , I ouertooke a man that met me in the morning before sunne set , the wind being in Capricorne , the Signe Southwest , with silence I demanded many questions of him , and hee with much pensiuenesse did answere me merrily to the full , with such ample and empty replications , that both our vnderstandings being equally satisfied , we contentiously agreed to finish and prosecute the narration of the vnknowne Knight Sir Gregory Nonsence , so sitting downe vpon our shoulders , resting vneasily on a banke of Sicamores vnder a Tree of odoriferous and contagious Camomile , after three sighs , smilingly vttered in the Hebrew Character , two grones from the Chaldean Dialact , fiue sobs from the Arabian Sinquapace , sixe dumps from Germane Idiome , nine Moodes of Melancholly from the Italian tongue , with one hub hub from the Hiberbian outcry . And last he laughed in the Cambrian tongue , and beganne to declare in the Vtopian speech , what I haue heere with most diligent negligence translated into the English Language , in which if the Printer hath placed any line , letter or sillable , whereby this large volume may bee made guilty to bee vnderstood by any man , I would haue the Reader not to impute the fault to the Author , for it was farre from his purpose to write to any purpose , so ending at the beginning , I say as it is applawsfully writ ten and commended to posterity in the Midsommer nights dreame . If we offend , it is with our good will , we came with no intent , but to offend , and shew our simple skill . Rolihayton . The names of such Authors Alphabetically recited as are simply mintioned in this Worke. A Madis de Gaul . Archy Arms. Beuis of Hampton . Boe to a Goose. Charing Crosse. Coakley . Dunsmore Cow. Dauy Wager . Euanwich Muffe . Frier and the Boy . Fubs his Trauels . Garagantua . Gammon of Westphallia . Grigs Granam . Hundred merry tales . Huon of Burdeux . Iacke Drum. Knight of the Sunne . Knaue of Diamonds . Lanum . Long Meg. Mad Mawdlin . No body . Otoole . Proofes of OOOO . Quinborough Osters . Ready mony . Shooters Hill. Singer . Sir Thomas Parsons . Tarleton . Tom Derry . Tom Thumbe . Vnguentum Album . Will Summers . Wit whither wilt thou . Woodcocke of our side . Xampelloes Quiblines . Yard of Ale. Zany on tumbling . Faults escaped in the Printing , which a wise Reader may mend when he sees them . IN the 25. page . 44. line , for a Friers mouth read a Pudding . If the 170. page 53. line , for a foole read a Bable . In the 90. page , 27. line , for friend read rare . In the 30. page 6. line 78. for a Whore read a Bridewell . In the 100. pace , line 40. for a Bawd reade a Cart. In the 12. page 11. line , for noone read dinner . In the 16. first , and all the Pages following for Tobacco read a Witch . In the 40. page , and 80. line , for a Calues head read Bacon . In the 37. page , and 1. line , for vice read plenty . In the 000. page , and 3. line for money read scarce . In the last Page , for conscience , read none . In euery page for sence read nonsence . Sir Gregory Nonsence his newes from no place . IT was in Iune the eight and thirtieth day , That I imbarked was on highgate Hill , After discourteous friendly taking leaue : Of my young Father Madge and Mother Iohn , The Wind did ebbe , the tide flou'd North South-east , We hoist our Sailes of Colloquintida , And after 13. dayes and 17. nights , ( VVith certaine Hiroglyphicke houres to boote ) We with tempestuous calmes , and friendly stormes , Split our maine top-mast , close below the keele . But I with a dull quick congruity , Tooke 19. ounces of the Westerne winde , And with the pith of the pole Artichocke , Saild by the flaming Coast of Trapezond , There in a Fort of melting Adamant , Arm'd in a Crimson Robe , as blacke as Iet , I saw Alcides with a Spiders thred , Lead Serberus to the Proponticke Sea , Then cutting further through the marble Maine , 'Mongst flying Buls ▪ and 4. leg'd Turkicocks , A dumbe faire spoken , welfac'd aged youth , Sent to me from the stout Stimphalides , With tonguelesse silence thus beganne his speech . Illustrious flapiack , to thy hungry doome , Low as the ground I eleuate my cause , As I vpon a Gnat was riding late , In quest to parley with the Pleiades , I saw the Duke of Hounsditch gaping close , In a greene Arbour made of yellow starch , Betwixt two Brokers howling Madrigales , A Banquet was serued in of Lampraies bones , Well pickel'd in the Tarbox of old time , When Demogorgon saild to Islington ; Which I perceiuing with nine chads of steele , Straight flew vnto the coast of Pimlico . ' Tinforme great Prester Iohn , and the Mogull , What exlent Oysters were at Billingsgate . The Mogull ( all enraged with these newes , Sent a black snaile post to Tartaria . To tell the Irishmen in Saxony , The dismall downefall of old Charing Crosse. With that nine butter Firkins in a flame , Did coldly rise to Arbitrate the cause : Guessing by the Sinderesis of wapping , Saint Thomas Watrings is most ominous , For though an Andiron , and a paire of Tongs , May both haue breeding from one teeming wombe , Yet by the Calculation of Pickt-hatch , Milke must not be so deere as Muskadell . First shall Melpomene in Cobweb Lawne . Adorne great Memphis in a Mussell boate , And all the Muses clad in Robes of Ayre , Shall dance Leuoltoes with a Whirligig , Faire Pluto shall descend from Brazen dis , And Polipheamus keepe a Seamsters shop , The I le of Wight shall like a diue dapper , Deuoure the Egyptian proud Piramides , Whilst Cassia Fistula shall gurmundize , Vpon the flesh and bloud of Croydon cole dust , Then on the Bankes of Shoreditch shall be seene , What 't is to serue the great Vtopian Queene . This fearefull period with great ioyfull care , Was heard with acclamations , and in fine , The whilst a lad of aged Nestors yeeres , Stood sitting in a Throne of massy yeast , ( Not speaking any word gaue this reply . Most conscript Vmpire in this various Orbe . I saw the Ceaders of old Lebanon , Read a sad Lecture vnto Clapham heath , At which time a strange vision did appeare , His head was Buckrum , and his eyes were sedge , His armes were blew botiles , his teeth were straw , His legges were nine well squard Tobacco Pipes , Cloath'd in a garment all of Dolphins egges , Then with a voyce erected to the ground , Lifting aloft his hands vnto his feete , He thus beganne , cease friendly cutting throtes , Clamor the promulgation of your tongues , And yeeld to Demagorgons pollicy . Stop the refulgent method of your moodes , For should you liue old Paphlagonias yeeres , And with Sardanapalus match in vertue . Yet Atropos will with a Marigold , Runne through the Mountaines of the Caspian Sea , When you shall see aboue you , and beneath That nothing kils a man so soone as death . This period finished , ere it was begunne , Aquarius ioyn'd with Pisces , in firme league , With Reasons and vindictiue Arguments , That pulueriz'd the King of Diamonds , And with a diogoricall relap's , Squeaz'd through the Sinders of a Butterflye , Great Oboron was mounted on a Waspe , To signifie this newes at Dunstable . The Weather-cock at Pancrage in a fume , With Patience much distracted hearing this , Repli'd thus briefely without feare or wit , What madnesse doth thy Pericranion seaze , Beyond the Dragons taile A●tophilax . Think'st thou a Wolfe thrust through a sheep skin gl●●e , Can make me take this Goblin for a Lambe : Or that a Crodadile in Barly broth , Is not a dish to feast don Belzebub , Giue me a Medler in a field of blue , Wrapt vp stigmatically in a dreame , And I will send him to the gates of Dis , To cause him fetch a sword of massie Chalke , With which he wan the fatall Theban field ▪ From Romes great mitred Matropolitan . Much was the quoile this brauing answere made , When presently a German Coniurer , Did ope a learned Booke of Palmistry , Cram'd full of mentall reseruations : The which beginning with a loud low voyce , With affable and kind discourtesie , He spake what no man heard or vnderstood , Words tending vnto this or no respect , Spawne of a Tortoyse hold thy silent noyse , For when the great Leuiathan of Trumps , Shall make a breach in Sinons Tennis Court. Then shall the pigmey mighty Hercules , Skip like a Wildernesse in Woodstreet Counter . Then Taurus shall in league with Hanniball , Draw Bacchus dry , whilst Boreus in a heate , In 〈…〉 op'd , in a Gowne of Isicles : With much discretion and great want of wit , Leaue all as wisely as it was at first , ●●●●fed much how those things could be done ▪ When straite a water Tankerd answer'd me , That it was made with a Parenthesis , With thirteene yards of Kersie and a 〈◊〉 ▪ Made of fine flaxe which grew on Goodwin sands , Whereby we all perceiu'd the Hernshawes breed , Being trusted with a charitable doome , Was neere Bunhill , when staite I might descry , the Quintesence of Grubstreete , well disti● Through Cripplegate in a contagioas Map. Bright Phaeton all angry at the sight , Snatch't a large Wool-packe from a Pismires mouth . And in a Taylors Thimble boil'd a Cabbage . Then all the standers by , most Reueterend , Rude , Iudg'd that the case was most obscure and cleere , And that three salt Enuigmates well appli'd , With fourescore Pipers , and Arions Harpe , Might catch Garagantua through an augor-hole , And t was no doubt but mulley Mahamet , Would make a quaffing bole of Gorgons skull , Whilst gormundizing Tantalus would weepe , That Polipheme should kisse Auroraes lips , Triformed Cinthis in a sinkefoile shape , Met with the Dogstarre on Saint Dauids day , But sad Grimalkin mumbling vp the Alpes , Made fifteene fustian fumes of Pasticrust . This was no sooner knowne at Amsterdam , But with an Ethiopian Argosey , Man'd with Flap-dragons , drinking vp sifreeze , They past the purple gulfe of Basingstoke . This being finisht , scarce to any end , A full od number of iust sixteene dogs , Drencht in a sulpher flame of scalding Ice , ●ung the Besonian W 〈…〉 pooles of Argeire , Mixt with pragmaticall potato Pies , With that I turn'd mine eares to see these things , ●nd on a Christall wall of Scarlet dye , with mine eyes began to heare and note , What these succeding Verses might portend , Which furiously an Annabaptist squeak'd , ●he audieace deaflly listning all the while . A most learned-Lye , and Illiterate Oration , in lame galloping Rime , fustianly pronounced by Nimshag , a Gimnosophicall Phoolosopher , in the presence of Achittophell Smel-smocke , Annani-Asse Aretine , Iscariot Nabal , Fransiscus Ra-viliaco , Garnetto Iebusito , Guido Salpetro Fauexit Powderio , and many other graue Senators of Limbo . Translated out of the vulgar Language , of Terra Incognita , and is as materiall as any part of the Booke , the meaning whereof a blind man may see without Spectacles as well at midn●ght , as at noone day . THe Story of Ricardo , and of Bindo , Appear'd like Nylus , peeping through a Windo : Which put the wandring Iew in much amazement , In seeing such a voyce without the Cazement . When loe a Bull ( long nourish'd in Cocitus , With sulphure hornes , sent by the Emp'rour Titus , Ask'd a stigmatike Paraclesian question , If Alexander euer lou'd Ephestion . I seeing each to other were much aduerse , In mirth and sport set downe their minds in sad verse , Which as my braines with care haue coin'd & minted With plenteous want of iudgement here t is printed , But if Grimalkine take my line in dudgion , The case is plaine , I pray good Readers iudge ye on , That Esop that old fabulisticke Phrigian , From the Nocturnall floud , or lake cal'd Stigian , Came to the Court at Creete , clad like a Legate , The Porter kindly to him open'd the-Gate , He past through Plutoes Hall in Hell most horrid , Where gnashing cold mixt with combustious torid , Where all things that are good , and goodnes wanted , Where plants of mans perdition still are planted , Where Ghosts and Goblins all in sulphure suted , And all the fiends like Cuckolds were cornuted . At last he audience got in Plutoes presence , And of his whole Embassage this was the-sence . To thee Tartarian Monarch now my Rime-is , And therefore marke my Prologue , or Imprimis , Thou that in Limbo art as 't were Rex Regnant , Beare with my wit , which is not sharpe or pregnant , I come from Houndsditch , Long-lane , & frō Bridewel , Where all that haue liu'd ill , haue all not dide well , Where as the Vices shew like Vertues Cardinall , Where 's mony store , and conscience very hard in all , Through thy protection they are monstrous Thriuers , Not like the Dutchmen in base Doytes and Stiuers , For there you may see many a greedy grout-head , Without or wit , or sence , almost without-head , Held and esteem'd a man whose zeale is feruent , And makes a shew as he were not your seruant . To tell this newes I came from many a mile hence , For we do know ther 's ods 'twixt talke and silence , With that the smug-fac'd Pluto shooke his vestment , Deepe ruminating what the weighty Iest ment , Calling to mind old Dodonaeus Hearball , With Taciturnity and Actions verball , Quoth he , I care for neither Friend or Kinsman , Nor do I value honesty two pinnes man : But 't is a Maxime Mortals cannot hinder , The doughty deedes of Wakesields huffe cap Pinder , Are not so pleasant as the faire Aurora , When Nimrod rudely plaid on his Bandora . For 't is not fit that any Turke or Persian , Should in a Cloke-bag hide a feauer Tertian , Because the Dog-starre in his cold Meridian , Might arme himselfe in fury most quotidian . With that most quicke a Pettifoggers tongue went , ( Well oild with Aureum , Argent , or such Vnguent , ) Is 't fit ( quoth he ) here should be such incroachment , By such whose fathers nere knew what a Coach ment , Or shall their Scutchions fairely be endorsed , Who riding backward iadishly were horsed , For though in India it be rare and frequent , Where to the wall most commonly the weake went , Yet neither can the Soldan or the Sophy , Shew any Presidents for such a Trophy . By Rules of Logicke , he 's a kinde a Catiue , And makes no reckning of his Country natiue , That doth with feeble strength , loue with derision , And without bloudshed makes a deepe incision . Why should a man lay either life or lime ny , To be endangered by a falling Chimney . For though the prosecution may be quaintly , Yet may the execution end but faintly , Le ts call to mind the famous acts of Hector , When aged Ganimede carousing Nectar , Did leaue the Greekes much matter to repine on . Vntill the Woodden Horse of trusty Sinon , Foald a whole litter of mad Colts in Harnesse , As furious as the host of Hollophernes . But to the purpose here 's the long and and short on t , All that is said , hath not beene much important , Nor can it be that what is spoke is meant all , Of any thing that happens accidentall , We will examine wisely what the Foe sent , And whether he be innocent or nocent . In weighty matters lets not be too serious , Ther 's many an Eunuch hath bin thought venrious , And 't is a thing which often hath bin heard on , That he that labours doth deserue his Guerdon , Let vs the first precadent time examine , You le finde that hunger is the cause of famine , The Birds in Summer that haue sweetely chirped , Ere winter hath beene done haue beene extirped . He may weare Robes , that nere knew what a Rag ment , And he that feasts may fast without a fragment , The end proues all , I care not for the Interim , Time now that summers him , wil one day winter him . To outward view , and Senses all exterier , Amongst all fooles I neuer saw a verier , Then he that doth his liberty prohibit , To fall in danger of a fatall Iibbit . Nor for this purpose here to talke come I , How siluer may be mock't with Alcamie , I oft haue heard that many a Hawke hath muted , Whereby the Faulkners Clothes hath beene poluted . This may be auoyded if the Knight Sir Reuerence , Be wary with a negligent perseuerance : For men of Iudement neuer thinke it decent , To loue a stinking Pole-cat well for the sent . But if a man should seriously consider , Where Charity is fled , or who hath hid her , He in the end would giue this worthy sentence , The earth hath beene accursed since she went hence . The Times are biting , and the dayes Caniculer , And mischiefe girds about the Globes orbiculer , How from the Country all the plaine Rusticity , Liues by deceit , exiling plaine simplicity . A face like Rubies mix'd with Allablaster , Wastes much in Physicke , and her water-caster , That whosoe're perceiues which way the stinke went , May sent and sensure shee 's a great delinquent . Why should a Bawd be fur'd with Budge & Miniuer , As if she were a Lady , or Queene Guiniuer ? When as perhaps ther 's many a modest Matron , Hath scarcely meate , or money , clothes or patron , And wherefore should a man be growne so stupid , To be a slaue to Venus or to Cupid , Hee 's but a foole that hoping for a vaine prize , Being captiu'd can haue no baile or maine prize . For he that hath no shift let him determine , He shall be bitten with Fleas , Lice , or Vermine . This being all his speeches Pia Mater , He cal'd a Sculler , and would goe by water : When straite the Stigian Ferriman a rare one , Old amiable , currish curteous Caron , Row'd with a whirle-wind through the Acheron ticke And thence vnto the Azure Sea proponticke . There Neptune in a burning blue Pauillion , In state did entertaine this slow Postilion , There Proteus in a Robe of twisted Camphire , With a graue beard of monumentall Samphire , Quoth he , shall we whose Ancestors were warre-like , Whose rich Perfumes were only Leekes and Garlike , Whose noble deedes nocturnall and diurnall , Great Townes and Towers did topsie turuy turne all . Shall all their valour be in vs extinguish'd , Great Ioue forbid there should be such a thing wish'd , Though Cleoprtra was Octauia's riuall , It is a thing that we may well conniue all , Amongst the Antients it is vndisputable , That women and the winds were euer muteable , And 't is aprou'd where people are littigious , There euery Epicure is not religious , Old Oceamus knowing what they ment all , Brought Zephirus vnto the Orientall , And he by Argument would proue that loue is , A thing that makes a wise man oft a Nouice : For t is approu'd a Greyhound or a Beagle , Were not ordain'd or made , to hunt the Eagle , Nor can the nimblest Cat that came from Gottam ▪ Search the profundity of Neptunes bottom . Let roaring Cannons with the Welkin parley , It 's knowne good liquer may be made with Barley ▪ And by experience many are assured , Some grounds are fruitfull if they be manured . For in the rudimens of health or sanity , An arrant Whore is but a price of vanity : Some men with fury will procrastinate , And some with leaden speede make hast in at ▪ But in conclusion many things impurely , Dye in the Birth , and neuer end maturely , The man that seeketh straying minds to weane all ▪ From veniall vices , or offences penall : Had he the forces of the Turkish Nauy , He would lye downe at last and cry pecauy . Of one thing I haue oftentimes tooke notice , The foole that 's old , and rich , much apt to dote is , And by the light of Polux and of Castor , A Woolfe in Shepheards weedes is no good Pastor , Those that do liue a Commicke life by Magicke , Their Sceanes in their Catastraphes are tragicke . And that ore the World would be chiefe Primate , May giue occasion for wise men to rime at , Before men fell to wrangling disagreement , A Lawyer vnderstood not what a fee meant : It was a time when Guilt did feare no censure , But loue , and peace , and charity was then sure . Now fathers ( for their bread dig and delue it , The whilst the Satten Sonnes are lin'd with Veluet . Thus do I make a hotch potch messe of Nonsence , In darke Enigmaes , and strange sence vpon sence : It is not foolish all , nor is it wise all , Nor is it true in all , nor is it lies all . I haue not shew'd my wits accute or fluent , Nor told which way of late the wandring Iew went , For mine owne part I neuer cared greatly , ( So I farewell ) where those that dresse the meate lye . A miserable Knaue may be close fisted , And prodigall expence may be resisted , I neither care what Tom , or Iacke , or Dick sed , I am resolu'd , and my mind is fixed , The case is not as he , or I , or you sed , Truth must be found , and witnesses produced , My care is , that no captious Reader beare hence , My vnderstanding , wit , or reason here hence . On purpose to no purpose I did write all , And so at Noone , I bid you here good night all . THen with a tuchbox of transalpine tarre , Turning thrice round , and stirring not a iot , He threw fiue tunne of red hot purple Snow , Into a Pigmeis mouth , nine inches square , Which straite with mellancholly mou'd , Old Bombus Burgomaster of Pickthatch , That plunging through the Sea of Turneball streete ▪ He safely did ariue at Smith field Barres . Then did the Turnetripes on the Coast of France . Catch fifteene hundred thousand Grashoppers , With foureteene Spanish Needles bumbasted , Poach'd with the Egges of fourescore Flanders Mares , Mounted vpon the foote of Caucasus , They whorld the footeball of conspiring fate , And brake the shinnes of smugfac'd Mulciber , With that grim Pluto all in Scarlet blue , Gaue faire Proserpina a kisse of brasse , At which all Hell danc'd Trenchmore in a string , Whilst Acheron , and Termagaunt did sing , The Mold-warpe all this while in white broth bath'd , Did Carroll Didoes happinesse in loue , Vpon a Gridiron made of Whiting-mops , Vnto the tune of Iohn come kisse me now , At which Auernus Musicke gan to rore , Iuthron'd vpon a seate of three leau'd grasse , Whilst all the Hibernian Kernes in multitudes , Did feast with Shamerags stew'd in Vsquebagh . At which a banquet made of Monopolies , Tooke great disaste , because the Pillory Was hunger-staru'd for want of Villaines eares , Whom to relieue , there was a Mittimus , Sent from Tartaria in an Oyster Boate , At which the King of China was amaz'd , And with nine graines of Rewbarbe stellified , As low as to the altitude of shame , He thrust foure Onions in a Candle-case , And spoild the meaning of the worlds misdoubt , Thus with a Dialogue of crimson starch , I was inflamed with a num-cold fire , Vpon the tenterhookes of Chalemaine , The Dogstar howl'd , the Cat a Mountaine smil'd , And Sisiphus dranke Muskadell and Egges , In the horn'd hoofe of huge Bucephalus , Time turn'd about , and shew'd me yesterday , Clad in a Gowne of mourning had I wist , The motion was almost too late they said , Whilst sad dispaire made all the World starke mad , They all arose , and I put vp my pen , It makes no matter , where , why , how , or when . Some sence at last to the learned . YOu that in Greeke and Latine learned are , And of the ancient Hebrew haue a share : You that most rarely oftentimes haue sung , In the French , Spanish or Italian tongue , Here I in English haue imploid my pen , To be read by the learnedst Englishmen , Wherein the meanest Scholler plaine may see , I vnderstand their tongues , as they do me . FINIS . Printed at London by N. O ▪ 1622. Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13499-e130 I haue History for this our of an Illiterate well printed Poem in Prose , intituled , the wise men of Gothā , of much antiquity . 
A13500	----	Superbiæ flagellum, or, The vvhip of pride. By Iohn Taylor Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1621 Approx. 74 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 33 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13500 STC 23796 ESTC S118281 99853488 99853488 18872 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13500) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18872) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1010:20) Superbiæ flagellum, or, The vvhip of pride. By Iohn Taylor Taylor, John, 1580-1653. Cockson, Thomas, engraver. [66] p. : ill. (metal cut) Printed by G. Eld, London : 1621. In verse. The first leaf bears verses, "The meaning of the frontispiece", on verso. The frontispiece, with title "The whip of pride", is signed: TC, i.e. Thomas Cockson. Signatures: pi² A-D (-D8). With a dedication to Sir Thomas Richardson. Variant: dedication is to William Seymour, Earl of Hertford. Reproduction of the original in the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign Campus). Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Pride and vanity -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-08 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-10 TCP Staff (Oxford) Sampled and proofread 2001-11 Apex CoVantage Rekeyed and resubmitted 2002-05 TCP Staff (Oxford) Sampled and proofread 2002-05 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-06 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Superbiae Flagellum , OR , THE WHIP OF PRIDE . By IOHN TAYLOR . LONDON , Printed by G. ELD : 1621. To the Right Worshipfull , Worthy , and Learned Gentleman , Sr. THOMAS RICHARDSON Knight , Serjcant at Law , and Speaker in the High Court of Parliament , &c. A double Anagramme . THOMAS RICHARDESONN . AS MAN HONORDE CHRIST , SO CHRIST HONERD A MAN. YOur name includes , that As man honorde Christ , So God againe through Christ honord a man : For if man truly honor the most High'st Then Christ to honor man both will and can . Right worthy Sir , this in your name is true , You honor Christ , and Christ hath honord you . RIGHT WORSHIPFVLL , BVt that I am assured that your Noble disposition , in all parts is sutable to the inside of this Booke , I should neuer haue dared to Dedicate it to your Patronage : for as it is a Diuine Poem , so hath your Worship a religious heart , as it hath an honest intention , so haue you a brest euer full of such thoughts , which bring forth worthy actions : as it a Whip or Scourge against all sorts of Pride , so haue you euer beene an unfaigned louer of Courteous humanity and humility , I humbly beseech your Worship , ( although the methode and stile be plaine , ) to be pleased to giue it fauourable entertainment , for the honesty that is in it , and the dutifull affection of the Author , Who is most obsequiously obliged to your Worship , IOHN TAYLOR . To no matter who , no great matter where , yet to be read there is matter why , although not much matter when . IT is no matter into whose hands or censure this my Superbiae Flagellum , or Whipping , or Stripping of Pride fall into , if it come into the view of true Nobility or Gentry , I know it will be charitably accepted . If into the hands of degenerate yongsters , that esteeme Pride more then all the Liberall Sciences , who account the foure Cardinall vertues , inferiour to their owne Carnall vices , such a one will put me off with a scornefull tush , a pish , or a mew , and commit my Booke to the protection of Aiax . If a wiseman reade it , I know it will be discreetly censur'd ; if a Foole , his Bolt is soone shot , and I am arm'd against it ; if a Learned man peruse it , hee will beare with my bad Schollership ; if an vnlearned , I care not for his opinion ; if a man of knowledge view it , he will pardon my ignorance ; if an ignorant Asse see it , hee will bray out his owne ; if an honest Richman spy it , hee will be the poorer in spirit though not in purse ; but if a proud Diues handle it , hee will esteeme it worse then his dogges ; if a proud Courtier reade it , he will teare it to tatters ; whilst a Generous Affable Gentleman , will louingly entertaine it . If beauty chance to behold it , it will bid it welcome , if Pride stand not in the way ; if a strong man that is not proud of it , grow aquainted with the contents of my meaning , I thinke it will content him ; if Parents , or children , or all , or any body , that are not poysoned with pride , doe but see or heare it distinctly read , and vnderstand it with iudgement , I am perswaded it will passe and repasse , with friendly vsage , but if any of the contrary faction come within the Aire of it , they wil vse it in some sort , as bad as the hangman may vse them . And so much for , To no matter who . It is no great matter where this be read , for as a good man ( being banished ) is neuer out of his countrey , because all countryes are his , so my Booke in Church , Court , City , Countrey , Castle or Cottage , is one and the same ; it may perhaps alter the place where it comes from worse to better , but the place can neuer alter the honest entents of it from better to worse . Therefore no great matter where . To be read there is matter , why , because it strikes at the roote of a most deadly sinne , which almost as bad as an vniuersall deluge , hath ouerflowed the most part of the world ; and though the Preachers on Earth , ( Gods Trumpets , and ambassadors from Heauen ) doe diligently and dayly strike at this abhominatiō , with the eternal sword of the euerlasting Word , yet what they cut downe in the day , like Mushromes , it growes vp againe thicke and threesold in the night , for whilst the husband-man sleepes , the enuious man sowes tares . Wherefore , I hauing a talent of knowledge lent me , by which I know that I must render an account one day , how I haue imployed it , and hauing Written neere forty seuerall pamphlets in former times , I purpose henceforward ( God willing ) to redeeme the time I haue so mispent , imploying my Pen in such exercises ( which though they be no free from a rellish of mirth , yet they shall be cleare from profanation , scurrility , or obsceannesse I do know Pride is at such a height , that my Mole-hill Muse can neuer by mineing at her foote , shake her head , for where Diuinity preuailes not , Poetry in medling doth but shew the Suns brightnesse with a Candle . Yet forasmuch as I know that Pride cast Angels out of Heauen , made diuels in hell , threw man out of Paradise , was a maine causer of the drowning of the first World , is a deuowrer of this world , and shall euer be accursed in the world to come , by this knowledge , I haue with a mix'd inuectiue mildnesse , shewed in this Booke the vanities of all sorts of Pride , not that I hope for amendment , but to shew my honest intendment . I haue seene sixe or seuen fashion hunting Gallants together sit scorning , and deriding a better man then any of themselues , onely because either his Hat was of the old Block , or that his Ruffe was not so richly lac'd , his Cloake hath beene too plaine , his Beard of the old translation , his Bootes and Spurres of the precedent second edition , and for such slight occasions a man hath beene slighted , ieerd and wonderd at , as if he had beene but a Zany to the fashion , or a man made for the purpose for them to whet their scorne vpon , and therefore to read this , there is a matter why . It is not much matter when , for be it read on Fryday the Turks Holyday , on Saturday the Iewes Sabbath , on Sunday the Lords day , or on any day or all dayes , nights or howers , there is Diuinity with Alacrity , Poetry with honest mirth , and euery thing so interwouen , one with another , that if it please not the generality , yet I hope in particularity it will be tolerably censurd by all that hate Pride , and loue humility . And therefore , not much matter when . IOHN TAYLOR . A FEW LINES , TO SMALL PVRPOSE , against the Scandalous Aspersions , that are either maliciously , or ignorantly cast vpon the Poets and Poems of these Times . THere doth a strange , and true opinion runne , That Poots write much worse then they haue don : And how so poore their daily writings are , As though their best inuentions were threed bare . And how no new things from them now doth spring , But all hath refrence from some other thing . And that their daily doings doe reueale , How they from one another silch and steale , As if amongst them't were a statute made , That they may freely use the theeuing trade . And some there are that will not sticke to say , That many Poets liuing at this day , Who haue the Hebrew , Latine , Greeke , at will , And in th' Italian and thè French haue skill , These are the greatest theeues they say , of all That vse the Trade ( or Art ) Poeticall . For ancient Bards , and Poets in strange toungs , Compiled haue their verses and their songs : And those to whom those tongues are rightly knowne , Translating them , make others verse their owne , As one that steales a Cloake , and presently Makes it his owne , by alt'ring of the dye . So whole boookes , and whole sentences haue bin Stolne , and the stealers , great applause did win , And by their filching thought great men of fame , By those that knew not the right Authors name . For mine owne part , my Conscience witnesse is , I ne're was guilty of such theft as this , Unto such robbery I could neuer reach , Because I vnderstand no forreigne speach . To prooue that I am from such filching free , Latin and French are heathen-Greeke to me , The Grecian , and the Hebrew Charactars , I know as well , as I can reach the Starres . The sweete Italian , and the Chip Chop Dutch , I know the man i' th Moone can speake as much . Should I from English Authors , but purloyne , It would be soone found counterfeited coyne . Then since I cannot steale , but some will spy , I le truely use mine owne , let others lye . Yet to excuse the writers , that now write , Because they bring no better things to light : T is because bounty from the world is fled , True liberality is almost dead . Reward is lodg'd in darke obliuion deepe , Bewitch't ( I thinke ) into an endlesse sleepe , That though a man in study take great paines , And empt his veines , and puluerize his braines , To write a Poem well , which being writ Wthall his Iudgement , Reason , Art , and Wit , And at his owne charge , print and pay for all , And giue away most free , and liberall Two , three , or foure , or fiue hundred bookes . For his reward he shall haue nods and lookes ; That all the profit a mans paines hath gat , Will not suffice one meale to feed a Cat. Yet Noble Wcstminster , thou still art free , And for thy bounty I am bound to thee : For hadst not thou , and thy Inhabitants , From Time to Time relieu'd and helpd my wants , I had long since bid Poetry adieu And therefore still my thankes shall be to you . Next to the Court , in generall I am bound To you , for many friendships I haue found . There ( when my purse hath often wanted baite ) To fill or feed it , I baue had receite . So much for that , I 'le now no more rehearse , They shew their loues in prose , my thankes in verse , When death , Mecaenas did of life depriue , Few of his Noble Tribe were left aliue , This makes Inuention to be meane and hard , When Pride and Auarice doth killreward . And yet me thinkes , it plainely doth appeare , Mens writings are as good as e're they were . Good lines are like a Banquet ill imployd , Where too much feeding hath the stomack cloyde . Good verses fall sometimes ( by course of fate ) Into their hands that are preiudicate . And though , the Writer ne're so well hath pend , Yet they 'le find fault with what they cannot mend . Thus many a learned well composed line , Hath bin as Pearle that 's cast before a swine . Or more familiarly to make compare , Like Aquauitae giuen vnto a Mare . These fellowes , ( glutted with variety ) Hold Good lines in a loath'd saciety , Whiest paltry Riming , Libells , Iigges , and Iests , Are to their appetites continuall feafts . With which their fancies they doe feed and fill , And take the Ill for good , the Good for ill . Whilst like to Monkeyes , ( scorning wholesome meate ) They grredily doe poysnous spiders eate . So let them feed vntill their humours burst , And thus much bold to tell them heere I durst . That Poetry is now as good as euer , If bounty , to relieue her would endeuer . Mens mindes are worse then they haue bin of yore , Inuention's good now , as it was before . Let liberality awake , and then Each Poet in his hand will take a pen , And with rare lines inrich a world of paper , Shall make Apollo , and the Muses caper . FINIS . Superbiae Flagellum , or the Whip of Pride . WHen all things were as wrap'd in sable night , And Ebon darknes muffled vp the light : When neither Sun , or Moone , nor Starres had shinde , And when no fire , no Water , Earth or Winde , No haruest , Autumne , Winter , when no Spring , No Bird , Beast , Fish , nor any creeping thing , When there was neither Time nor place , nor space , And silence did the Chaos round embrace : Then did the Archworkmaster of this All , Create this Massy Vniuersall Ball. And with his mighty word brought all to passe , Saying but Let there Be , and done it was . Let there be Day , Night , Water , Earth , Hearbs , Trees Let there be Sun , Moone , Stars , fish , fowle that flees , Beasts of the Field , he said but , Let there be , And all things were created as we see . Thus euery sensible and senselesse thing , The High-Creators Word to passe did bring : And as in viewing all his workes he stood , He saw that all things were exceeding good . Thus hauing furnisht Seas , and Earth , and Skies ; Abundantly with all varieties , Like a Magnificent and sumptuous Fcast , For th' entertainment of some welcome Guest , When Beasts and Birds , and euery liuing Creature , And the Earths fruits did multiply by Nature ; Then did th' Eternall Trinity betake It selfe to Councell , and said , Let vs make , Not Let there be , as vnto all things else , But LET VS MAKE MAN , that the rest excels ; According TO OVER IMAGE LET VS MAKE MAN , and then did th' Almighty Red Earth take , With which he formed Adam , euery limine , And ( hauing made him ) breathed life in him . Loe , thus the first Man neuer was a Child , No way with sinne originall defil'd : But with high Supernat'rall Vnderstanding , He ouer all the World had sole commanding . Yet though to him the Regency was giuen , As Earths Lieutenant to the God of Heauen , Though he commanded all Created things , As Deputy vnder the King of Kings ; Though he so highly heere was dignifide , To humble him , not to be puff'd with Pride , He could not brag or boast of high borne birth , For he was formed out of slime and earth : No Beast , fish , worme , fowle , herbe , weed , stone , or tree , But are of a more ancient house then he ; For they were made before him , which proues this That their Antiquity is more then his . Thus both himselfe , and his beloued Spouse , Are by Creation of the younger house , And whilst they liu'd in perfect Holinesse , Their richest Garments were bare Nakednesse , True Innocency were their chiefest weeds , ( For Righteousnesse no Masque or Visor needs . ) The royal'st robes that our first Parents had , Was a free Conscience with Vprightnesse clad ; They needed ne're to shift ; the cloathes they wore Was Nakednesse , and they desir'd no more ; Vntill at last , that Hell-polluting sin , With Disobedience soil'd their Soules within , And hauing lost their holines Perfection , They held their Nakednes an Imperfection . Then ( being both asham'd ) they both did frame Garments , as weedes of their deserued shame . Thus , when as sinne had brought Gods curse on man Then shame to make Apparell first began , E're man had sin'd , most plaine it doth appeare , He neither did , or needed Garments weare , For his Apparell did at first beginne , To be the Robes of pennance for his sinne . Thus all the brood of Adam , and of Eue , The true vse of Apparell may perceiue , That they are Liueries , Badges , vnto all Of our sinnes , and our Parents wofull fall . Then morethen mad , these mad-brain'd people be ( Or else they see , and will not seeme to see ) That these same Robes ( with Pride ) that makes them swell Are tokens that our best desert is hell . Much like vnto a Traytor to his King That would his Countrey to destruction bring , Whose Treasons being prou'd apparantly , He by the Law is iustly iudg'd to dye , And when he lookes for his deserued death , A Pardon comes and giues him longer breath , I thinke this man most madly would appeare That would a halter in a glory weare , Because he with a halter merited Of life , to be quite disinherited But if he should vaingloriously persist To make a Rope of silke or golden twise , And weare 't as a more honourable showe Of his Rebellion , then course hempe or towe , Might not men justly say he were an Asse , Triumphing that he once a Villaine was , And that he wore a Halter for the nonce , In pride that he deserued hanging once ? Such with our Heau'nly father is the Case , Of our first Parents and their sinfull Race , Apparell is the miserable signe , That we are Traytors to our Lord diuine , And we ( like Rebels ) still most pride doe take In that which still most humble should vs make , Apparell is the prison for our sinne Which most should shame , yet most we Glory in ; Apparell is the sheete of shame as 't were Which ( for our pennance ) on our backs we beare , For man Apparell neuer did receaue , Till he eternall Death deferu'd to haue . And thus Apparell to our sense doth tell Our sinnes'gainst Heau'n , and our desert of Hell. How vaine is it for man , a clod of Earth , To boast of his high progeny , or Birth , Because ( perhaps ) his Ancestors were good , And sprung from Royall , or from Noble blood , Where Vertuous worth did in their minds inherit , Who gain'd their Honours by Desert and Merit ; Whose seruice for their Country neuer fai'ld , Who ( Iustly ) liu'd belou'd , and dyde bewaild ; Whose Affability , and Charity , Guided with pious true sincerity , Who to their states lou'd all their liues to ioyne Loue before Lands , Compassion before Coyne ? Yet when they dyde , left wealth , place , state , and name To Heires , who bury all in Pride & shame , But as the Sacred Truth most truely faith , No man is saued by anothers Faith ; So though some honorable Rascals haue Turn'd their good Fathers to their timelesse graue , And like Ignoble noble Reprobates , Possesse their names , possessions and estates , Yet ( for they want their Vertues and Deserts ) They are but Bastards to their better parts . Manasse ; was good Hezechiahs sonne , And with his Crowne into all Vice did runne ; The Sire the title of good King did gaine , The Sonne 's Abominations all did staine ; Honour is better well deseru'd then had , To haue it vndeseru'd , that Honour 's bad . In Rome an ancient Law there sometimes was , Men should through Vertue vnto Honor passe : And t' is a Rule that euermore hath bin , That Honor 's best which a mans selfe doth win . T' is no Inheritance , nor can it runne Successiuely from Father to the Sonne ; But if the Father nobly were inclin'd , And that the Sonne retaine his worthy mind , If with his Fathers goods he doth possesse His Goodnesse , all the world must then confesse , That that Sonnes Honor doth it selfe display To be the Fathers equall euery way . Thus good mens Honors can no Honor be To their degenerate posteritie , But t' is a mans owne Vertue , or his Vice , That makes his Honor high or low in price . Of Birth , or Parents , no man can be proud , Pride of Apparell here is disallow'd , Pride of our Riches is most Transitory , Pride of our Beauty is a fading Glory : Pride of our wisedome is most foolish folly ; Pride of our holines is most vnholy , Pride of our strength is weaknes in our thought , And Pride in any thing will come to nought . Pride hath bin Author of the worst of Euils , Transforming glorious Angels , into Deuils , When Babels Tow'r gan proudly to aspire , With toungs confusion , they were payd their hire . Through Pride the King of Babels glory ceast , And for seau'n yeares it turn'd him to a beast : And Baltazar that next him did succeede , Lost life , and left his Empire to the Mede , For Pride , to Tyre and Zidons wicked Kings The Prophet a most iust destruction brings . Herod mid'st his vngodly glory vaine , Through Pride was eaten vp with wormes , and slaine . Great Alexander , King of Macedon Disdaind to be his father Phillips son , But he from Iupiter would be descended , And as a god be honour'd and attended , Yet Bain'de at Babilon he prou'd but man , His godhead ended foolish as 't began . There was in Sicilie a proud Phisitian , Menecrates , and he through high ambition , To be a god himselfe would needs preferre , And would ( forsooth ) be named Iupiter , King Dionysius making a great feast , This foole-god daigned there to be a guest , Who by himselfe was at a table plac'd , ( Because his godhead should the more be grac'd ) The other Guests themselues did feed and fill , He at an empty table still , sate still . At last with humble lowe Sir Reuerence , A fellow came with fire and frankinscence , And offer'd to his godship , ( saying then ) Perfumes were fit for gods , and meate for men : The god in anger rose incontinent Well laugh'd at , and an hunger'd , home he went. The Romane Emperour Domitian Would be a god , was murder'd by a man. Caligula would be a god of wonder , And counterfeite the lightning , and the thunder ; Yet euery Reall heau'nly Thundercracke , This caitife in such feare and terror strake , That he would quake , and shake , & hide his head In any hole , or vnderneath his bed . And when this godlesse god had many slaine , A Tribune dasht out his vngodly braine . And thus th' Almighty still ' gainst Pride doth frown And casts Ambition headlong tumbling down Great Pompey would be all the worlds superior , And Caesar vnto none would be inferior ; But as they both did liue ambitiously , So both of them vntimely deaths did dye . The one in AEgypt had his finall fall , The other murthered in the Capitall . A number more Examples are beside , Which shewes the miserable fall of Pride : And doe men thinke to goe to Heauen from henc● By Pride , which cast the Angels headlong thrnce Or doe they through their Pride suppose to dwel● With God , when Pride did make the Deuils in he●● It is a Vice which God abhors and hates , And ' gainst it doth denounce most fearfull threats Oh , what a hellish vanity is 't then , That doth bewitch vaine women , and vile men , That rather then their Pride and they will seuer , They will be seuer'd from their God for euer ? I will not say but Wisedome , Beauty , Health , Strength , Courage , Magnanimity , and Wealth , ●mpires and Kingdomes , rule of Sea , and Land , Are Blessings giuen by Gods all-giuing hand ; But not because on whom they are bestow'd , Should in the stead of Humblenesse waxe proud , Or with vaine glory haue their hearts vpheau'd , ●or why ? what ere they haue they haue receiu'd : And therefore Christian Kings their stiles do grace King By the Grace of God , of such a place ; Because by his especiall prouidence They hold Maiesticall Preheminence . And as there is distinction of Estates , Some Emp'rours , Kings , and mighty potentates , Superiors and Inferiors , each degree , As Gods foreknowing Knowledge did foresee : Yet he did not bestow his bounteous Grace , To make the great men proud , or mean men base ; Abundant wealth he to the Rich doth lend , That they the poore should succour and defend . He hath giu'n strength and vigour to the strong , That they shold guard the weak frō taking wrōg : To some he knowledge doth and wisdome grant Because they should instruct the Ignorant , But vnto no man God his gifts doth giue , To make him proud , or proudly here to liue . For Pride of state , birth , wisdome , beauty , streng●● And Pride in any thing , will fall at length , But to be proud of Garments that we weare , Is the most foolish pride a heart can beare . For as they are the Robes of sinne and shame , Yet more may be consider'd in the same : Be they compact of silke , or cloath of Gold , Or cloath , or stuffes ( of which ther 's manifold Let them be lac'd and fac'd , or cut , or plame , Or any way to please the wearers braine , And then let him or her that is so clad , Consider but from whence these stuffes were h●● How Mercers , Drapers , silkmen were the Iayle●● And how the Executioners were Taylers , That did both draw and quarter , slash and cut , And into shape , mishapen Remnants put . Consider this , and you will graunt me than That Garments are the workmanship of man. Which being graunted no man can deny , But that it is most base Idolatry , T' adore or worship a proud paltry knaue , Because the Mercers shop hath made him braue Or is it not a foolish vile mistaking , To Honour things that are a * Taylers making ●ake a vowe , that neuer whilst I liue Reuerence to Apparell will I giue ; Some goodnes in the wearer I 'le expect , Or else from me he shall haue small Respect ; ●in him vertue , and true worth I see He shall haue heart and hand , and cap and knee . T is laudable there should be diffrence made Betwixt a Courtier , and a man of Trade : For sense or Reason neuer would allowe , A Prince to weare a habit for the Plow . Nor that a Carter vainely should aspire , To thrust himselfe into the Court attire . Distinctions of Office , and Estates Should habite men according to their rates , Thus I rich Garments no way doe condemne , But I say no man should be proud of them . In Rome , a worthy Law there once was made That euery man , of each degree and Trade , Some marke or Badge , about him still should beare Whereby men knew what all mens callings were . The Consuls bearing the Imperiall sway , ( To whose command the rest did all obey ) In token they had power to saue or spill , Had Rods and Axes borne before them still . The Censors , Tribunes , AEdiles , and the Praeto●● The Prouosts , Questors , and the Conseruators And as their offices were sundry varied , So were they known by things before thē carri●● The Mercer in his hat did weare some tuffe , Or shred of Silke , or Gold , his trading stuffe ; Drapers a piece of List , Weauers a quill , Or Shuttle , and the Millers wore a Mill. And as men sundry callings did apply , So they wore Emblemes to be knowne thereby But if that Law were but enacted have , How like a pluckt crow , would Pride sppn appe●● Some Taylors would be very mad no that , To weare each one a Bodkin in his hat ; There 's many a wealthy Whoremaster would sk●● And stamp , and start , if he should weare a whip But yet if euery thiefe of each degree , Were bound to weare a halter , God blesse me : A Butcher still should weare a Calfe or Bull , My selfe ( a Waterman ) an Oare or Skull . And so of euery trade both high and low , Men ( by their badgs ) would their functions kno●● And if this Law the State would but allow , Some would weare calues skins , that weare velu● no●● Then Iacke and Iill , and Iohn a Drones his issue , Would not be trapped thus in Gold and Tissue . T is strange a coxcomb should be cram'd with pride Because he hath got on a Sattin hide : A Grogreine outside , or a siluer Case , Some fourercene groce of buttons , and Gold lace ; When as perhaps the corps that carries all , Hath more diseases then an Hospitall , And ( which is worst of all ) his Soule within , Stinks before God , polluted with all sinne . Romes great Arch-tyrant Nero , amongst all The matchlesse vices he was tax'd withall , ( The which in Histories are truely told , ) Was said t' haue shoe ties all wroght o'r with gold , If in an Emperour ( that did command Almost the whole world , both by Sea and Land , Who countermaunded Indian Mines and Iems , Iewels , and almost all earths Diadems , ) To weare gold shoe-strings were a noted crime , What may it then be called at this time , When many , below Hostlers in degree , Shall ( in that point ) be deck'r as braue as lie ? Thus Pride 's an ouer weening selfe opinion , A soule destroyer , come from Hels dominion ; Wch makes vainglorious fools , & new foūd mad●● Forget they are of Eues good brood and Adams . But yet though Pride be a most deadly sinne , What numbers by it doe their liuings winne ? A world of people daily liue thereby ; Who ( were it not for it ) would starue and die , Thus ( by corruption of the time ) this Deuill Is growne a good , bad , necessary euill . She is the Mercers onely fruitfull crop , She is the Silkman , and th'Embroderers prop ; She is the Haberdashers chiefest Stocke , She feeds the Hat-sellers with blocke on blocke ; She makes the Dyers daily liue to dye , And dye to liue , and get great wealth thereby ; She ( euery Winter ) doth the Draper feed , With food and fucll She supplies his need . She is the Taylors goddesse ; and vpon her He dayly doth attend to doe her honour ; All the inuentions of his studious pate , He at her shrine doth euer consecrate , He takes the world for fashions that excell , From Germany , from France , from Spain , from hel And would himselfe be out of fashion quite , But that Pride in new fashions doth delight , Silkweauers ( of the which abundance are ) Wer 't not for Pride would liue , & dye most bare : Sempsters with ruffs & cuffs , & quoifes , & caules , And falles , ( wer 't not for pride ) would soone haue falles . The Shooemakers neat , spanish , or polony , Would haue but single-soal'd receit of money . The sweet Perfumers , would be out of fauour , And hardly could be sauers by their sauour . The glittring Ieweller , and lapidary , ( But for Prides helpe ) were in a poore quandary , The goldsmiths plate would stand vpō his shelfe , And 's Rings & Chaines he might weare out himselfe . Thus Pride is growne to such a height , I say , That were she banish'd , many would decay : For many hundred thousands are you see , Which from Pride only , haue meat , cloaths , & fee : No maruell then she hath so many friends , When as such numbers on her still depends , Pride is their Mistris , she maintaines them still , And they must serue her , or their case is ill . But as so many numbers numberles , Doe liue and florish hcere by Prides excesse : So are there more vpon the other side , Toild and tormented still to maintaine Pride . The painfull Plowmans paines doe neuer cease , For he must pay his Rent , or lose his lease , And though his Father and himselfe before , Haue oft releiu'd poore beggers at their doore ; Yet now his Fine and Rent so high is rear'd , That his own meat and clothes are scarcely clear'd Let him toyle Night and Day , in light and darke , Lye with the Lambe downe , rise vp with the Lark Dig , delue , plow , sow , rake , harrow , mow , lop , fel Plant , graft , hedg , ditch , thresh , winnow , buy & sel Yet all the money that his paines can win , His Landlord hath a purse to put it in . What though his Cattell with the Murraine dye , Or that the Earth her fruitfulnesse deny ? Let him beg , steale , grieue , labour and lament , The Quarter comes , and he must pay his Rent ; And though his Fine and Rent be high , yet higher It shall be rais'd if once it doth expire : Let him and his be hunger-staru'd and pin'de , His Landlord hath decreed his bones to grinde : And all this carke and care , and toile of his , Most chiefly for this onely purpose is , That his gay Landlord may weare silke & feather whilst he poore drudg can scare get frize or lether Because his Landlady may dog the fashion , Hce's rack'd and tortur'd without all compassion ; Because his Landlords Heyre may haue renowne Of Gentle , though the Father be a Clowne : Because his landlords daughters ( deckt with pride ) With ill got portions may be Ladyfide . In briefe , poore tenants pinch for clothes and food To dawb with pride their landlords & their brood . The time hath bin ( and some aliue knowes when ) A Gentleman would keepe some twenty men , Some thirty , and some forty , lesse or more , ( As their Reuenews did supply their store . ) And with their Charities did freely feed The Widow , Fatherlesse , and poore mans need , But then did Pride keepe residence in Hell , And was not come vpon the earth to dwell : Then Loue and Charity were at the best , Exprest in Action , not in words profest . Then conscience did keep men in much more aw , Than the seuerest rigour of the Law , And then did men feare God ( with true intent , ) For 's Goodnesse , not for feare of punishment . But since the Leprosie of Pride hath spread The world all ouer , from the foot to head : Good bounteous house keeping is quite destroyd , And large reuenewes other waies imployd . Meanes that would foure men meate and meanes allow , Are turnd to garters , and to roses now , That which kept twenty , in the dayes of old , By Sathan is turn'd sattin , silke , and gold , And one man now in garments he doth weare , A thousand akers , on his backe doth beare , Whose auncestours in former times did giue , Meanes for a hundred people well to liue . Now all is shrunke , ( in this vainglorious age ) T'atire a coach , a fooreman , and a page , To dice , drinke , drabs , tobaco , haukes & hounds , These are th' expence of many thousand pounds , Whilst many thousands starue , and dayly perish , For want of that which these things vs'd to cherrish . There is another Pride , which some professe , Who pinch their bellies , for their backs excesse : For thogh their guts throgh wāt of fodder clings , That they will make sweet filthy fidle strings ; Yet they will suffer their mawes pine and lacke , To trap with rich caparisons the backe . These people , ( for their Pride ) doe Iustice still , Vpon themselues , although against their will. They doe in their owne stomacks , try , examine , And punish outward Pride , with inward famine . But sure the people can be good for nothing . Whose reputation onely lyes in cloathing : Because the hangman oft may execute , A theife or traytor in a Sattin sute , And that sute which did from the gallowes drop , May be againe hang'd in a Broakers shop , And then againe hang'd , and bought , and worne , And secondly ( perhaps ) to Tiburne borne : And so at sundry times , for sundry crimes , The Hangman may sell one sute sixteene times , And euery Rascall , that the same did fit , To be exceeding pockie proud of it . And all this while , ( if I be not mistooke ) It rests vnpaid for , in the Mercers booke . Thus many simple honest people haue , Giun worship to a Broakers wardrobe slaue , Thus Tiburne ornaments may be the cheife , To grace a graceles arrant whoore , or theife . A Seruing-man , I incast cloathes haue seene , That did himselfe so strangely ouerween , That with himselfe he out of knowledge grewe , And therefore all his old friends he misknewe , Vntill at last his Glory did decease , His outside fac'd with tatters , rags and greace , Then did the changing time , the youth transform From Pride to be as lowly as a worme . A many of these fellowes may be had , That 's meeke or proud , as clothes are good or bad . I leaue true Noble Gentry all this while , Out of the reach of my inuectiue stile , T is fit that those of worthy race and place , Should be distinguisht from the Vulgar base . Perticulars Ile not to question call , My Satyre is gainst Pride in generall . Soft Rayment is in Princes Courts allow'd , Not that the wearers should thereof be proud ; For worth and wisdome knowes most certainely , That Hell giues Pride , and Heauen Humility , And be their garments ne're so rare or rich , They neuer can make Pride their hearts bewitch . Then if all sorts of men considred this , Most vaine the pride of any rayment is , For neither sea , land , fish , fowle , worme , or beast , But man's beholding to the most and least . The silly Sheepe puts off his coate each yeare , And giues it to forgetfull man to weare : The Oxe , Calfe , Goate , and Deere do not refuse To yeeld their skins , to make him boots & shooes , And the poore Silkworme labours night and day T' adorne and garnish man with rich array : Therefore if men of this did rightly thinke , Humility would grow , and Pride would shrinke . Fowles of the Ayre doe yeild both fans & plumes And a poore Ciuet Cat allowes perfumes . The Earth is rip'd and bowel'd rent and torne , For Gold and siluer which by man is worne : And sea and land are rak'd , and search'd & sought , For Iewels too farre fetcht , and too deare bought . Thus man's beholding still ( to make him trim ) Vnto all creatures , and not they to him . Nature ( without mans helpe ) doth them supply , And man without their help would straue and dic . If men ( I say ) these things considered well , Pride then would soone be tumbled downe to hell . Their golden suits that make thē much renown'd , Is but the guts and garbage of the Ground : Their Ciuet ( that affords such dainty sents ) Is but a poore Cats sweating Excrements ; Their rarest Iewels ( which most glister forth ) Are more for outward shew then inward worth , They are high valu'd at all times , and season , But for what reason , none can giue a reason , The best of them , like whoores , haue euer bin , Most faire without , and full of bane within . And let a great man weare a peice of glasse , It ( for his sake ) will for a Diamond passe ; But let a man that 's of but meane degree , Weare a faire Diamond , yet it glasse must be . This valuing of a Iewell is most fit , It should not grace a man , man should grace it . A good man to his suit is a repute , A knaues repute lyes onely in his sute . And for a stone , that but 3. drams hath weigh'd , Of precious poyson , hundreds haue bin payd . And who can tell how many liues were lost , In fetching home the Bables of such cost ? ( For many of them are as deerely bought . As if they from * Acheldama were brought . ) Yet some rush through ( fantasique pates to please ) Rocks , sands , & change of aire , rough winds & seas Storms , tēpests , gusts , flawes , pirates , sword , & fire , Death , or else slauery , ( neuer to retire . ) And thus Prides various humours to suffice , A number hazard these calamities . When our owne Country doth afford vs heere , Iewells more precious , nothing nigh so deere . A whetstone is more necessary sure , A grindstone much more profit doth procure : But for a * milstone , that 's a Iewell rare , With which no other stone can make compare . The loadstone is the meanes to find the rest , But of all stones the milstone is the best . Free stones and artificiall bricks I graunt , Are stones , which men in building cannot want : And the flintstone can yeild vs fire and heate , But yet the milstone yeilds vs bread to eate . The tilestone keepes vs dry , the roadstone bydes , And holds fast Boates , in tempests , winds , & tides , The chalkstone serues for lyme , or for account To score , how reck'nings doe abate or mount . Pebles , and grauell , mend high wayes I knowe , And ballast shippes , which else would ouerthrow . And this much I 'le maintaine heere with my pen , These are the stones that most doe profit men : These , these are they , if we consider well , That Saphirs , and the Diamonds doe excell , The Pearl , the Em'rauld , and the Turkesse blew , The sanguine Corrall , Ambers golden hew , The Christall , Iacinth , Achate , Ruby red , The Carbuncle , Squar'd , Cut , and Pollished , The Onix , Topaz , Iaspar , Hematite , The Sable Iet , the Tutch , and Chrysolite ; All these considred as they are indeed , Are but vaine toyes that doth mans fancy feed ; The stones I nam'd before , doe much more good For building , sayling , lodging , firing , food . Yet Iewels for their lawfull vse are sent , To be a luster , and an ornament For State , magnificence , and Princely port , To shew a Kingdomes glory , at the Court ; And God ( I know ) ordain'd them to be worne , Superiour States to honour and adorne , And for the vses they were made are good , If ( as they should be ) they are vnderstood : T' adorne our persons they are still allow'd , But not to buy too deare , or make vs proud . The Holy Ghost in Exodus recites , How Aaron ( High Priest of the Israelites ) Twelue seuerall stones did on his Brest-plate bear , Which of the twelue Tribes a remembrance were ; But they were mysticall , prophetique tropes , And figures of Saluations future hopes . But God did neuer giue or Gold or Iemme , Or Iewell , that we should take pride in them . The Deu'll laugh'd lately at the stinking stir , We had about * Hic Mulier , and Haec ●ir The Masculine apparel'd Feminine , And Feminine attired Masculine , The Woman-man , Man-woman , chuse you whether , The Female-male , Male-female both , yet neither ; Hels Pantomimicks that themselues bedights , L●ke shamelesse double sex'd Hermophradites , Virago Roaring Girles , that to their middle , To know what sexe they were , was halfe a Riddle , Braue trim'd & truss'd , with daggers & with dags , Stout Captaine Maudlins feather brauely wags , Lieutenant * Dol , and valiant Ensigne Besse , All arm'd with impudence and shamelesnesse ; Whose Calues eg starch may in some sort be taken As if they had beene hang'd to smoke like Bacon , Whose borrowed hayre ( perhaps ) not long before Drop'd from the head of some diseased Whore , Or one that at the Gallowes made her Will , Late choaked with the Hangmans Pickadill . In which respect , a Sow , a Cat , a Mare , More modest then these foolish Females are . For the bruit beasts ( continuall night and day ) Doe weare their owne still ( and so doe not they . ) But these things haue so well bin bang'd & firk'd And Epigram'd and Satyrd , whip'd and Ierk'd , Cudgeld and bastinadoed at the Court , And Comically stag'de to make men sport , lyg'd , and ( with all reason ) mock'd in Rime , And made the onely scornefull theame of Time , And Balladmongers had so great a taske , ( As if their muses all had got the laske . ) That no more time therein my paines I 'le spend , But freely leaue them to amend , or end . I saw a fellow take a white loaues pith , And rub his masters white shooes cleane therwith And I did know that fellow , ( for his pride ) To want both bread and meate before he dy'de . Some I haue heard of , that haue bin so fine , To wash and bathe themselues in milke or wine , Or else with whites of egges , their faces garnish , Which makes thē look like visors , or new varnish Good bread , and oatmeale hath bin spilt like trash My Lady polecats dainty hands to wash : Such there hath bin , but now if such there are , I wish that want of food may be their share . Some practise euery day the Painters trade , And striue to mend the worke that God hath made . But these deceiuers are deceiued farre , With falsly striuing to amend , they marre : With deu'lish dawbing , plast'ring they do spread , Deforming so themselues with white and red , The end of all their cunning that is showne , ●s God will scarcely know them for his owne . ●n a great frost , bare breasted , and vnlac't , I haue seene some as low as to their wast : One halfe attyr'd , the other halfe starke bare , Shewes that they halfe asham'd , halfe shameles are , Halfe , ( or else all ) from what they should be erring , And neither fish or flesh , nor good red herring . I blow'd my nailes when I did them behold , And yet that naked Pride would feele no cold . Some euery day doe powder so their haire , That they like Ghosts , or Millers doc appeare : But let them powder all that er'e they can , Their Pride will stinke before both God & man. Ther was a trades mans wife , which I could name ( But that I 'le not divulge abroad her shame ) Which a strong legion of good garments wore , As gownes and petticoates , and kirtles store . Smocks , headtires , aprones , shadowes , shaparoons ( Whimwhams , & whirligiggs to please Baboones Iewels , rings , ooches , brooches , bracelets , chaines ( More then too much to fit her idle braines ) ( Besides , she payd ( not counting muffes & ruffs ) Foure pounds sixe shillings for two paire of cuffs T will make a man half mad , such worms as those The generall gifts of God should thus ingrosse . And that such numbers want their needfull vse , Whilst hellish Pride peruerts them to abuse . Now a few lines to paper I will put , Of mens Beards strange and variable cut : In which ther 's some doe take as vaine a Pride , As almost in all other things beside . Some are reap'd most substantiall , like a brush , Which makes a Nat'rall wit knowne by the bush ( And in my time of some men I haue heard , Whose wisedome haue bin onely wealth & beard Many of these the prouerbe well doth fit , Which saies Bush naturall , more haire then wit. Some seeme as they were starched stiffe and fine Like to the bristles of some angry swine : And some ( to set their loues desire on edge ) Are cut and prun'de like to a quickset hedge . Some like a spade , some like a forke , some square , Some round , some mow'd like stuble , some starke bare , Some sharpe Steletto fashion , dagger like , That may with whispering a mans eyes out pike ; Some with the hammer cut , or Romane T , Their beards extrauagant reform'd must be , Some with the quadrate , some triangle fashion , Some circular , some ouall in translation , Some perpendicular in longitude , Some like a thicket for their crassitude , That heights , depths , bredths , triform , square , oual , round , And rules Geo'metricall in beards are found , Besides the vpper lip 's strange variation , Corrected from mutation to mutation ; As 't were from tithing vnto tithing sent , Pride giues to pride continuall punishment . Sōe ( spite their teeth ) like thatch'd eues downward grows And some growes vpwards in despite their nose . Some their mustatioes of such length do keepe , That very well they may a maunger sweepe : Which in beere , ale or wine they drinking plunge , And sucke the liquor vp , as 't t were a Spunge ; But t is a Slouens beastly Pride , I thinke , To wash his beard where other men must drinke . And some ( because they will not rob the cup , Their vpper chaps like pot hookes are turn'd vp , The Barbers thus ( like Taylers ) still must be , Acquainted with each cuts variety : Yet though with beards thus merrily I play , T is onely against Pride which I inueigh : For let men weare their hayre or their attire According as their states or minds desire , So as no puff'd vp Pride their hearts possesse , And they vse Gods good gifts with thankfulnesse . There 's many an idle shallow pated Gull , Thinks his owne wisedome to be wonderfull : And that the State themselues doe much forget , Because he in authoritie's not set : And hauing scarely wit to rule a Cottage , Thinks he could guid a kingdom with his dotage . True wisdome is mans onely guide and guard , To liue here , to liue better afterward . It is a rich mans chiefe preheminence , And t is a poore mans stay , and best defence . But worldly wisdome is the ground of all The mischiefes that to man did euer fall . Gods wisedome is within the Gospel hid , Which we to* search , are by our Sauiour bid . Thus Pride of humane wisedome is all vaine , And foolish fancies of mans idle braine . Pride of our knowledge , we away must throwe For he knowes most , which least doth seeme to knowe One Apple from the tree of life is more , Then from the tree of knowledge halfe a score ; T is good for vs to know our Maisters will , But the not doing it , makes knowledge ill . Ther 's many know , the Iust in heau'n shall dwell , Yet they vniustly runne the way to hell . The life Eternall no way can be wonne , But to know God , and * Iesus Christ his Sonne . Christ , ( to his people ) by his word and passion , Taught men the ioyfull * knowledge of saluation . I rather had by knowledge , raise my chance , Then to be poore with barb rous ignorance ; Yet better t' were I nothing vnderstood , Then to know goodnes , and to doe no good . Thus knowledge , worthy is of dignity , But not to make the knowers proud thereby . For if men would , to know themselues endeuer , Pride of their knowledge would infect thē neuer . Pride of our riches is a painefull pleasure , Like sumpter horses laden with rich treasure , So Misers beare their wealth as they are able , Till Death the hostler makes the graue their stable . There 's some take pride in treasure basely got , Haue it , yet want it , as they had it not ; And though to get it , no vile meanes they spare , To spend it on themselues they seldome dare ; How can a base extortionizing Bore , Get riches ill , and giue God thanks therefore ? T is all one , if a theife , a baude , a witch , Or a Bribe taker should grow damned rich , And for their trash , got with their hellish pranks , The hypocriticke slaues will giue God thanks . No let the litter of such whelpes , Giue thanks to th'Deuill ( author of their helpes ) To giue God thanks , it is almost all one , To make him partner in extortion . Thus if men get their wealth by meanes that 's euil , Let them not giue God thanks , but thank the deuil . Yet wealth the gift of God hath euer bin , But not such wealth that 's onely got by sinne ; Nor any wealth if men take pride therein . And those who put their foolish confidence In Riches , trusting to their false defence ; Those that with Mammon are bewitched so , Our Sauiour'gainst them threats a fearefull * Woe . Humility with Riches may be blest , But Pride 's a poyson God doth still detest . Pride of our Learning 's vaine , it doth appeare , For though men study many a weary yeare , And learn'd as much , as possibly the braine , Or scope of mans Inuentions may attaine , Yet after all their studies , truth doth show , Much more is what they know not , then they know , To learne by bad mens vices , vice to shunne , By good mens good , what should by vs be done , This is the learning we should practise most , Not to be proud thereof , or vainely boast . A Princes fauour is a precious thing , Yet it doth many vnto ruine bring ; Because the hauers of it proudly vse it , And ( to their owne ambitious ends ) abuse it . If men that are so stately and so strange , Would but remember how time oft doth change , And note how some in former times did spread , By their examples they would take some heed , For as a cart wheele in the way goes round , The Spoak that 's high'st is quickly at the ground , So Enuy , or iust cause , or misconceit , In Princes Courts , continually doe waite , That he that is this day Magnifico To morrow may goe by ●●eronimo The spoakes that now are highest in the wheeles , Are in a moment lowest by the heeles . Haman was proud , past reasons bounds or scope , And his vainglory ended in a rope , And his ten sounes , in duty to obay Their father , followed him the selfe same way . Those men that harbour Pride within their brest , Doe seldome end their daies in peace and rest . But if they doe , disgrace and shame withall , Are the chiefe waiters on their funerall . Where honor is with noble vertue mix'd , It like a Rocke stands permanent and fix'd , The snares of enuy , or the traps of hate Could neuer , nor shall euer hurt that state : Like Adamant it doth beat backe the battry , Of spitefull malice , and deceiuing flattry , For it with Pride can neuer be infected , But humbly is supernally protected , Such with their Kings shall euer be belou'd , And like to fixed starres , stand fast , vnmou'd . Those that are proud of beauty , let them know , Their Pride is but a fickle , fading showe . A smoake , a bubble , a time-tosted toy , A Luna like , sraile , euer changing ioy . For as a tide of flood , slow'd to the height , Do●h ( in a moment ) fall to ebbing straight : So beauty , when it is most faire and fine , ( Like new pluck'd flowers ) doth presently decline . That man or womans vertue doth excell , If with their beauty chastity doth dwell : But Pride of beauty is a marke most sure , That th'owners of it , vse it to procure The Paphian pastime , and the Cyprian game , The sports of Venus , and the acts of shame , To breede the heat of Cupids lustfull flame . Oft beauty hath faire chastity displac'd , But chastity , hath beauty euer grac'd . For 't is a Maxime , those haue euer bin , That are most faire without , most fowle within . Too oft hath beauty , by disloyalty , Branded it selfe with lasting infamy , That one fraile creature , ( nobly will descended ) ( Proud of her fairenes ) fowly hath offended , And on her honse and kindred , laid a blot , That the dishonor ne're will be forgot . But a faire feature vertuously : nclin'd , A beauteous outside , and a pious mind , Such are Gods Images Epitomies , And Cabinets of heanens blest treasuries : And therefore be thy feature , faire or foule , Let inward vertues beautifie the soule . Pride of our strength , shewes weaknesse in our wit , Because the Chollicke , or an Ague fit , The tooth-ach , or the pricking of a pin , Oft lets the strength out , and the weaknesse in . The Tribe of Dans great glory , * Sampsons strength By a weake woman was orethrowne at length . And sure there 's many do themselues much wrong In being proud because they are made strong , For a great number liuing now there are , Can wrastle , throw the sledge , or pitch the barre , That on their backs foure hūdred waight can bear And horse shooes ( with their fifts ) in sunder teare , Yet neuer vse their strength in any thing , To serue their God , their country , or their King. But with outragious acts their liues pursue , As if God gaue them strength but as their due , As though they like the Gyants could remoue , And hurle great mountaines at the head of Ioue , Or like Gargantua , or Polipheme , Or Gogmagog , their boystrous fancies dreame , That they more wonders by thier strength can do , Then Hercules could e're attaine vnto . Let those Goliahs , that in strength take pride , Know that the Lord of Hostes doth them deride , And what they are ( that proudly brag and swell Of strength ) let any man but note them well , If hurt or sicknesse make their strength decay , A man shall neuer see such Cowes as they . Be'ng strong , their minds on God they neuer set ; In weaknesse , instly he doth them forget : Strength , thus like headstrong lades they do abuse it , For want of Reasons bridle how to vse it . Pride of our children's vaine ; our proper stem Must either dye from vs , or we from them . If our examples of the life we liue Inrich them not more then the gifts we giue , If ( disobedient ) they despise mstruction , And will peruersly runne into destruction ; Much better had it bin , we had not bin Begetters of such Imps of shame and sinne . Children no duty to such Parents owe , Who suffer vice their youth to ouergrow , Neglect to teach thy sonne in younger yeeres , He shall reiect thee in thy hoary haires , The way to make our children vs obay , Is that our selues from God runne not astray , Such measure to our maker as we mete , T is just , that such , we from our children get . Th' Apostle Paul exhorteth more and lesse , To be all children in̄ maliciousnes : That is to say , as children harmeles be , So we should from maliciousnes be free . Thus Pride of birth , apparell , wealth , strength , state , And Pride of humane wisedome God doth hate : Of knowledge , learning , beauty , children and The Pride of Princes fauour cannot stand . And Pride in any thing shall euermore , Be bar'd and shut from heau'ns Eternall doore , For whosoeuer will beleeve and looke , Shall find examples in the sacred booke : That God hath euer'gainst the proud withstood , And that a proud heart neuer came to good . He saith Pride is* destruction , and agen That Pride is* hatefull before God and men : How Prides beginning is from God to fall , And of all sinne is the* originall . Who taketh hold on Pride , in great affliction Shall be o'rethrowne , fild with Gods malediction . Pride was not made for man , man hath no part In Pride , for God a abhorreth a proud heart , And ' t is decreed by the Almighties doome , That Pride vnto a fearefull fall shall come . A person that is proud , ne're pleas'd God yet : For how can they please him whom they forget ? Yet as before I said , againe I le say , That Pride to such a height is growne this day : That many a thousand thousand familie , Wer 't not for Pride would begge , or starue and dy . And the most part of them are men of might , Who in Prides quarrel will both speake and fight : I therefore haue no hope to put her downe , But Satyre-like , to tell her of her owne . There is another Pride which I must touch , It is so bad , so base , so too too much : b Which is , if any mans good fortune be , To rise to Honorable dignitie , Or through infirmity , or wilfulnes , Men fall vnhappily into distresse . That Libellers doe spirt their wits like froth , To raile at Honor , and dishonor both . These Mungrell whelpes are euer snarling still , Hating mens goodnesse , glorying in their ill , Like bloud-hound Curs they daily hunt and sent , And rime and Iigge on others detriment : Supposing it a very vertuous thing , To be an arrant Knaue in libelling . Forsooth these Screech-owles would be cal'd the wits , Whose flashes flye abroad by girds and fits : Who doe their mangy Muses magnifie : Making their sport of mens calamity , But yet for all their hatefull hellish mirth , They are the vilest cowards on the earth : For there 's not one that doth a libell frame , Dares for his eares subscribe to it his name . T is a base bruitish pride to take a pen , And libell on the miseries of men ; For why all men are mortall , weake and fraile , And all , from what they should be fall and faile . And therefore men should in these slip'ry times Bewaile mens miseries , and hate their crimes : Let him that stands take heed he doth not fall , And not reioyce in mens mishaps at all . It is too much for Libellers to meddle , To make their Muse a Hangman or a Beadle : At mens misfortunes to deride and iest , To adde distresse to those that are distrest . As I doe hold mens vices to be vile , So at their miseries I le neuer smile , And in a word ( lest tediousnesse offend ) Alibeller's a Knaue , and there 's an end . Thus hauing of Prides various formes related And how of God , and good men it is hated : I thinke it fit some Lines in praise to write , Of Vertues which to Pride are opposite . For vice with shew of Vertue blindes the eye , And Vertue makes vice knowne apparantly . When falsehood is examin'd and compar'd With Truth , it makes truth haue the more regard . The Crow seemes blackest when the Swan stands near And goodnes makes the ill most bad appear : So vertues that are contrary to vices , Make them contemptible , and base in prices : Humility , if it be well embrac'd , It makes disdainfull Pride , disdain'd , disgrac'd : Humility is a most heauenly gift , The Stayre that doth ( to Glory ) men vp lift . None but the meeke and lowly humbled spirit Shall true eternall happinesse inherit : Those that are humble honour * God alwaies , And onely those will he to honor raise . If thou bee'st great in state , giue thankes therefore And humble still thy selfe , so much the more . He that is humble , loues his Christian brother , And thinkes himselfe * inferiour to all other ; Those that are meeke the Lord shall euer guide , And * teach them in his wayes still to abide . For though the Lord be high , he hath respect Vnto the * lowly , whom he will protect . Humility , and lowlinesse goes on , Still before honour , ( as saith Solomon ) He that is humble heere and free from strife , Shall for * reward haue glory , wealth , and life . He that himselfe doth humble , certainly , Our Sauiour saith shall be * exalted high . He that with Christ wil weare a glorious Crown Must cast himselfe , ( as Christ did ) humbly down And like to the rebounding of a ball , The way to rise , must first be , low to fall . For God the Father will accept of none , That put not on the meeknes of his Sonne : If Proudly thou doe lift thy selfe on high , God and his blessings , from thee , still will fly : But if thou humble , meeke , and lowly be , God and his blessings will come downe to thee . ●f thou wouldst trauell vnto heau'n , then know , ●umility's the way that thou must goe . ●f in presumptuous pathes of Pride , thou tread , T is the right wrong way that to hell doth lead . ●now that thy birth , attire , strength , beauty , place , ●re giu'n vnto thee by Gods speciall grace : ●now that thy wisdome , learning , and thy wealth , Thy life , thy Princes fauour , beauty , health , ●nd whatsoeuer thou canst goodnes call , ●as by Gods bounty giu'n vnto thee all . ●nd know that of thine owne thou dost possesse , ●othing but sinne , and wofull wretchednes , Christians Pride should onely be in this , When he can say that God his Father is . When grace and mercy , ( well applide ) affoord , ●o make him brother vnto Christ his Lord. When he vnto the holy Ghost can say , ●hou art my Schoolemaster , whom I 'le obay ; When he can call the Saints his fellowes , and ●●y to the Angells , for my guard you stand , This is a lawdable , and Christian Pride , 〈◊〉 know Christ , and to know him crucifi'd . This is that meeke ambition , low aspiring , Which all men should be earnest in desiring : Thus to be proudly humble , is the thing , Which will vs to the state of glory bring . But yet beware ; Pride hypocriticall , Puts not humilities cloake on at all : A lofty minde , with lowly cap and knee , Is humble Pride , and meeke hypocrisie . Ambitious mindes , with adulating lookes , Like courteous Crowne-aspiring* Bullinbrookes ; As a great ship ill suited with small saile , As Iudas meant all mischeife , cride All haibe , Like the humility of Absolon : This shadowed Pride , much danger waites vpon These are the counterfeite ( God faue yee Sirs ) That haue their flattries in particulars , That courteously can hide their proud intents , Vnder varieties of complements . These vipers bend the knee , and kisse the hand , And sweare , ( sweet Sir ) I am at your command . And proudly make humility a screw , To wring themselues into opinions view . This Pride is hatefull , dangerous , and vile , And shall it selfe ( at last ) it selfe beguile . Thus Pride is deadly sinne , & sinne brings shame , Which heere I leaue to hell , from whence it came FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13500-e1560 If any man fetch his slory higher , let him take my booke for nought . In perfect Holinesse and Righ●eousnesse . 〈◊〉 ●say 14. 4. Daniel 4. Daniel 5. The Medes and Persians . Acts 12. ●osephus ●●b . 19. ●●p . 7. Acts 8. Plutarch ●n the life ●f Alexander . ●e was ●pysned at Babylon . 1. Cor. 4. * A Tayler is but a man ; therefore it is Idolatry to worship his workmanship * The ●old of ●lood that ●he Iewes ●ought with the ●hirty pei●es of sil●er , which ●udas ●rought ●acke a●aine after ●e betray●d Christ , Mat. 27. 7. Acts 1. 19. * A milstone is a poereles lewell . * Two inuectiue pamphlets against the monstrous and shapelesse disguises of men and women . * Female Souldiors . Against Pride of worldly wisdome . 1. Cor. 2. 7. Against Pride of humane knowledge * Ioh. 17. 3 : * Luke 1. 73 Against Pride of riches . * Luk. 2 Against Pride of Learnin Against bing proud of Princ fauours . Comparison . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉 ●udges ●19 . Against Pride of our hauir children . Toby 4. Eccle. 10. a Prouerbs 16. Pro. 29. Eccle. 29. Matt. 23. Luke 14. 18 Luke 1. ludeth 9. b Against libellers . Most of these libellers haue an Itching veine of Riming , which with much scratching maks scuruy lines & so from itch to seratch , srō scratch to scuruy , & from scuruy to seabbed they proceed in time , with their botching , to be termed ( by knaues and fooles ) scald Poets . The praise of Humility * Eccle. 19. * Phil. 2. 3. * Psal ; 25. 9 * Ps. 138. 6. * Prou. 22. 4. * Mat. 23. 12. A Pride which is fit for all estates . King Henry the 4. 
A13501	----	Taylors farevvell, to the Tovver-bottles Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1622 Approx. 23 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 8 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13501 STC 23797 ESTC S118290 99853497 99853497 18881 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13501) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18881) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:22) Taylors farevvell, to the Tovver-bottles Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [16] p. By Augustine Matthewes], Printed at Dort [i.e. London : 1622. "The argument" signed: Iohn Taylor. In verse. The imprint is false; in fact printed in London by Augustine Matthewes (STC). Signatures: A. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion TAYLORS FAREVVELL , TO THE TOVVER BOTTLES . Printed at Dort. 1622. The Argument . About Three hundred and Twenty yeares since , or thereabouts , ( I thinke in the Raigne of King Richard the Second ) there was a guift giuen to the Tower , or to the Lieutenants thereof , for the 〈◊〉 then and for euer being , which guift was Two blacke leather Bottles , or Bombards of Wine , from euery Ship that brought Wine into the Riuer of Thames ; the which hath so continued vntill this day , but the Marchants finding themselues agreeued lately because they thought the Bottles were made bigger then they wer● formerly wont to bee , did wage Law with the Leiutenant ( Sir Geruis Helwis by Name ) in which Sute the Lieutenant had been ouerthrowne , but for such Witnesses as I found that know his Righ● for a long time in their owne knowledge . But I hauing had th● Gathering of these Wines for many yeares , was at last Discarde● from my place because I would not Buy it , which because it wa● neuer bought or solde before , I would not or durst not venture vpo● so vnhonest a nouelty , it being solde indeed at so high a Rate , tha● who so bought it must pay thrice the value for it : whereupon ● tooke occāsion to take leaue of the Bottles in this following Poem , i● which the Reader must be very melancholy , if the reading thereo● 〈◊〉 not make him very merry . IOHN TAYLOR . TAYLORS Farewell , to the Tower-Bottles . BY your leaue Gentlemen , I le make some sport , Although I venture halfe a hanging for 't : But yet I will no peace or māners breake For I to none but Leather-bottles speak . No Anger spurres me forward , or despight In smooth plaine Verse I talke of wrong and Right . The Looser may speake , when the Winner wins , And madly merrily my Muse begins . Mad Bedlam Tom , assist me in thy Rags , Lend me thy Army of foule Feinds and Hags : Hobgoblins , Elues , faire Fayries , and foule Furies , Let me haue twelue Groce of Infernall Iuries , With Robin Goodfellow , and bloody Bone Assist my merry Muse , all , euery one . I will not call to the a Pegassian Nine , In this they shall not ayde me in a Line : Their fauours I le reserue , till fitter time , To grace some better busines with my Rime , Plaine home-spun stuffe shall now proceed from me , Much like vnto the Picture of b wee Three . And now I talke of three , iust three we are , Two false blacke Bottles , and my selfe at jarre , And Reader when you reade our cause of strife , You 'le laugh or else lye downe , He lay my life , But as Remembrance lamely can rehearse , In sport I le rip the matter vp in Verse . Yet first , heere downe I thinke it fit to set By what meanes first , I with those Bottles met . Then stroake your Beards my Masters , and giue care , I was a Waterman twice Foure long yeare , And liu'd in a Contented happy state , Then turn'd the whirling wheele of fickle Fate , From Water vnto Wine : Sir William Waad Did freely , and for nothing turne my trade . Ten yeares almost the place I did Retaine , And c glean'd Great Bacchus blood from France and Spaine , Few Ships my visitation did escape , That brought the sprightfull liquor of the Grape : My Bottles and my selfe did oft agree , Full to the Top , all merry came Wee three . Yet alwayes 't was my chance in Bacchus spight , To come into the Tower vnfox'd vpright . But as mens thoughts a world of wayes doe range , So as Lieutenants chang'd , did Customes d change : The Ancient vse , vs'd many yeares before , Was folde , vnto the highest Rate and more , At such a price , which whosoe're did giue , Must play the Thiefe , or could not saue and liue . Which to my losse , I manifestly found I am well sure it cost me Thirty pound For One yeare , but before the next yeare come , 'T was almost mounted to a double e summe : Then I , in scorne , Contempt , and vile disgrace , Discarded was , and thrust quite from my place , There Bacchus almost cast me in the mire , And I from Wine to Water did retire . But when the blinde misiudging world did see , The strange vnlook'd for parting of vs Three , To heare but how the multitude did judge , How they did mutter , mumble , prate and grudge , That for some f faults I surely had committed , I , in disgrace thus from my place was quitted . These Imputations grieu'd me to the heart , ( For they were causlesse , and without desert ) And therefore though no man aboue the Ground That knew the Bottles , would give Twenty g pound Rather than I would branded be with shame , And beare the burthen of desertles blame , To be an Owle , contemptuously bewondred , I would giue h Threescore , fourescore , or a hundred . For I did vow , although I were vndone , I would redeeme my Credit ouerrunne , And 't is much better in a Iayle to Rot , To suffer begg'ry , slauery , or what not , Then to be blasted with that wrong of wrongs , Which is the poyson of Backbiting tongues . Hoysted aloft vnto this mounting taxe , Bound fast in Bonds in Parchment and with waxe , Time gallop'd , and brought on the payment day , And for three Monthes , I Eighteene pounds did pay . Then I confesse , I play'd the Thiefe in graine , And for one Bottle , commonly stole twaine . But who so buyes the place , and meanes to thriue , Must many times for One take foure or fiue . For this I will maintaine and verifie , It is an Office no true man can buy . And by that Reason , sure I should say well , It is vnfit for any man to sell : For 'till at such an extreame Rate I bought , To filch or steale , I scarcely had a thought . And I dare make a vowe 'fore God and men , I neuer plaid the Thiefe so much as then . But at the last my friendly starres agreed , That from my heauy bonds I should be i freed : Which if I euer come into againe , Let hanging be the Guerdon for my paine . Then the k old Custome did againe begin , And to the Tower I brought the Bottles in , For which for seruing more then halfe a yeere , I ( with much loue ) had Wages and good Cheere , 'Till one l most valiant , ignorantly stout , Did buy , and ouer-buy , and buy me out . Thus like Times Footeball was I often tost In Dock out Nettle , vp downe , blest and crost , Out-fac'd and fac'd , grac'd and againe disgrac'd , And as blinde Fortune pleas'd , displac'd or plac'd . And thus , for ought my m Augurie can see Diuorc'd and parted euer are wee Three . Old Nabaoth , my case is much worse then thine , Thou but thy Vineyard lost , I lost the Wine : Two witnesses ( for bribes ) thee false accus'd , ( Perhaps ) some prating Knaues hath me abus'd : Yet thy wrong's more then mine , the Reason why , For thou wast n ston'd to death , so am not I. But as the dogges did eate the flesh and gore Of Iezabell , that Royall painted Whore , So may the Gallowes eate some friends of mine , That first striu'd to remoue me from the Wine . This may by some misfortune , be their lot , Although that any way I wish it not ▪ But farewell Bottles , neuer to returne , Weepe you in Sack , whil'st I in Ale will mourne ; Yet though you have no reason , wit , or sence , I 'le sencelesse chide you for your vile offence , That from your foster father me , would slide To dwell with Ignorance , a blinde-fold guide , For who in Britaine knew ( but I ) to vse you , And who but I knew how but to abuse you ; My speech to you , no Action sure can beare , From Scandala magnatum I am cleare . When Vpland Trades-men thus dares take in hand A wat'ry buis'nesse , they not vnderstand : It did presage things would turne topsie turuie , And the conclusion of it would be scuruie . But leauing him vnto the course of Fate , Bottles let you and I a while debate , Call your extrauagant wilde humours home , And thinke but whom you are departed from ; I that for your sakes haue giu'n stabs and stripes ▪ To giue you suck from Hogsheads and from Pipes , I that with paines and care you long haue ●urst , Oft fill'd you with the best , and left the worst . And to maintaine you full would often pierce The best of Butts , a Puncheon , or a ●ierce , Whil'st Pipes and Sackbuts were the Instruments That I plaid on , to fill your full contents . With Bastart , Sack , with Allegant , and Rhenish , Your hungry mawes I often did replenish , VVith Malmesie , Muskadell , and Corcica , VVith VVhite , Red , Clarret , and Liatica , With Hollocke , Sherant , Malliga , Canara , I stuft your sides vp with a sursarara , That though the world was hard , my care was still , To search and labour you might haue your fill . That when my Master did or Sup or Dine , He had his choyse of p Fifteene sorts of Wine . And as good Wines they were , I dare be bolde , As any Seller in this Land did holde . Thus from these Bottles I made honour spring , Befitting for the Castle of a King. This Royalty , my labour did maintaine , When I had meate and wages for my paine . Ingratefull Bottles , take it not amisse That I , of your vnkindnes tell you this , Sure if you could speake , you would say in briefe , Your greatest want , was still my greatest griefe . Did I not often in my bosome hugge you , And in mine armes would ( like a Father ) lugge you , Haue I not run through Tempests , gusts and stormes , And met with danger in strange various formes , All times and Tides , with , and against the streame , Your welfare euer was my labours Theame . Sleet , Raine , hayle , winde , or Winters frosty chaps , Ioues Lightning , or his dreadfull Thunderclaps , When all the Elements in one Conspire , Sad Earth , sharpe Ayre , rough Water , flashing Fire , Haue warr'd on one another , as if all This world of nothing , would to nothing fall . When showring hayleshot , from the storming heau'n Nor blustering Gusts by Eol's belching driuen , Could holde me backe , then oft I searcht and sought , And found , and vnto you the purchase brought . All weathers , faire , foule , Sunshine , wet and dry , I trauail'd still your paunches to supply . Oft haue I fought , and swagger'd in your Right , And fild you still by either sleight or might . And in th'Exchequor I stood for your Cause , Else had you bin confounded by the Lawes . I did produce such q witnesses , which crost The Marchants sute , else you had quite bin lost , And ( but for me ) apparantly 't is knowne , You had bin Kicksie winsie ouerthrowne , And for my seruice , and my much paines taken , I am cashier'd , abandon'd , and forsaken . I knew it well , and said , and swore it too , That he that bought you would himselfe vndoe , And I was promist , that when hee gaue o're , That I should fill you , as I did before , For which Foure yeares with patience I did stay , Expecting he would breake , or run away , Which though it bee falne out as I expected , Yet nerethelesse my seruice is rejected . Let men judge if I haue not cause to write Against my Fortune , and the worlds despight , That in my prime of strength , so long a r space , I toyl'd and drudg'd , in such a gainelesse place , VVhereas the best part of my life I spent , And ( to my power ) gaue euery man content , In all which time which I did then remaine , I gaue no man occasion to complaine , For vnto all that know me I appeale , To speake if well or ill I vsde to deale , Or if there bee the least abuse in mee , For which I thus from you should sundred bee . For though my profit by you was but small , Yet sure my Gaine was loue in generall And that I doe not lye , not speake amisse , I can bring hundreds that can witnes this , Yet for all this I euer am put off , And made a scorne , a by word and a scoffe . It must some Villaines information be , That hath maliciously abused me , But if I knew the misinforming else , I would write lines should make him hang himselfe . Be he a Great man that doth vse me ill , ( That makes his will his Law , and Law his will ) I holde a Poore man may that Great man tell , How that in doing ill , he doth not well . But Bottles blacke , once more haue at your breech , For vnto you I onely bend my speach Full fourteene times had Sols illustrious Rayes , Ran through the Zodiacke , when I spent my dayes To conserue , reserue , preserue and deserue Your loues , whē you with wants were like to starue . A Groce of Moones , and twice 12. months besides , I haue attended you all times and tides . If I gain'd Twelue-pence by you all that time , May I to Tyburne for promotion Climbe , For though the blinde world vnderstand it not , I know there 's nothing by you can be got , Except a drunken pate , a scuruy word , And now and then be tumbled ouer-boord , And though these mischiefes I haue kept me fro , No other Bottleman could e're doe so . T is knowne you haue bin stab'd , throwne in the Thames , And he that fild you beaten , with exclaimes , By Marchants , who haue much abused bin VVhich Exigents , I neuer brought you in , But I with peace and quietnes got more , Then any brabling e're could doe before . The VVarders knowes , each Bottleman ( but I ) Had alwayes a crack'd crowne , or a blacke eye , Oft beaten like a Dog , with a scratch'd face , Turn'd empty beaten backe with vile disgrace . These iniuries my selfe did bring in quiet , And still with peace I fild you free from Ryot . My labours haue bin dedicate to you , And you haue dealt with me , as with a Iew , For vnto thousand witnesses 't is knowne , I did esteeme your welfare as mine owne . But an obiection from my words may runne , That seeing nothing by you may be wonne , VVhy I doe keepe this deale of doe about you When as I say , I can liue best without you . I answer , though no profit you doe bring , Yet there is many a profitable thing , Which I of s Marriners might often buy , Which vnto me would yeeld commodity . And I expected when the Time should be , That I should fill you , as 't was promist me , Whereby some other profit might be got , Which I in former times remembred not , All which could doe the Custome house t no wrong , VVhich to repeat heere would be ouer-long . But I was sleighted , with most vile disgrace , And one that was my Prentise plac'd in u place . But holla holla Muse , come backe come backe , I speake to none but you , you Bottles blacke . You that are now turn'd Monsters , most ingrate , Where you haue cause to loue most , most to hate , You that are of good manners quite depriu'd , Worse then the x Beast from whence you are deriu'd , If you be good for nothing but what 's naught , Then sure you haue bin better fed then taught : Besides the world will taxe me , and say still The fault was mine that nurtur'd you so ill . Persisting thus , in your iniurious wrong , It shewes y' are drunke with being Empty long . Long fasting sure hath made you weake and dull , For you are steddiest when you are most full . Me thinkes I heare you say the fault 's not yours , You are commaunded , by Superiour powers , But if the choyse were yours , you had much rather That I , then any one the Wines should gather . Alas poore fooles , I see your force is weake , Complaine you cannot , wanting power to speake : If you had speech , it may be you would tell , How with you and the Marchants I delt well , But 't is no matter , though you silent be , My fourteene yeares long seruice speakes for me . And for the Marchants still my friends did proue , I 'le tell them somewhat to requite their Loue. First let their wisedomes but collect and summe , How many Ships with Wine doe yearely come , And they will finde that all these Bottles shall Not fill y nine Hogsheads , at the most of all , Then he that for them Three Tonne dares to giue , The case is plaine , he must or beg or theeue . I doe not say that you haue bin abusde , But you may partly guesse how you were vsde . Indeed z I thinke we ne're so soone had parted , Had friendly outsides bin but friendly hearted , The sweet bayte Couers the deceiuing hookes , And false hearts can put on good wordes and lookes . All is not Golde the Prouerbe sayes that glisters , And I could wish their Tongues were full of blisters , That with their flatt'ring diligence most double , Themselues , and you , and I , thus much did trouble . For misinforming paltry Knaues must be The Instruments of such indignity . But as the fairest Garden hath some weeds , And 'mongst the cleanest flocke some scab'd sheepe breeds . Or as the Ta●e amongst the Wheat doth growe Good onely for what 's ill yet makes a showe . So ther 's no Great house fixed on the ground , But Clawbacke Sichophants may there be found , For 't is a Maxim held in euery Nation , Great men are wayted on by Adulation . No doubt but some doth to the Court resort , And sure the Tower must imitate the Court ▪ As Caesars Pallace may ( perhaps ) haue many , So Caesars Castle cannot say not any . I haue found some that with each winde wold moue With hearts all hatred , and with tongues all Loue , Who with Hats mou'd , would take me by the Fist With Complements of honest Iacke how i st ? I 'm glad to see thee well with all my heart , Long haue I long'd to drinke with thee a quart , I haue beleeu'd this Drosse had bin pure Golde , When presently I haue bin bought and solde Behinde my backe ( for no desert or Cause ) By those that kindely Cap'd and kist their 〈◊〉 For one of them ( an ancient Reuerend Scribe ) Receiued Forty shillings for a bribe , On purpose so to bring the case about To put another in , and thrust me out . Long was the time this busines was a brewing , Vntill fit opportunity accruing , I was displac'd , yet spight the bribed Sharke , The man that gaue the bribe did misse the marke . O Bottles Bottles , Bottles , Bottles , Bottles , Platoes diuine workes , nor great Aristotles , Did ne're make mention that a guift so Royall , was euer bought and solde , like slaues disloyall . For since King Richard , second of that Name , ( I thinke ) your high Prerogatiue you Claime : And this much heere to write I dare be bolde You are a guift , not giuen to be solde , For sence or Reason neuer would alowe That you should e're be bought and solde till now . Philosophers with all their Documents , Nor aged Time with Antique monuments , Did euer mention such vntoward Elues , That did more idely cast away themselues . To such lowe Ebbe your basenes now doth shrinke , Whereas you yearely did make Thousands drinke . The hatefull Title now to you is left , Y' are Instruments of begg'ry and of Theft . But when I fild you ( I dare boldly sweare ) From all these imputations you were cleare , Against which I dare , dare , who dare or can , To answer him and meete him man to man , Truth armes me , with the which I will holde Bias , Against the shocke of any false Golias . Bottles you haue not wanted of your fill , Since you haue left me , by your heedlesse will , You scarce haue tasted penury or want , ( For cunning Theeues are seldome ignorant ) Yet many times you haue beene fild with trash , Scarce good enough your dirty skins to wash . All this I know , and this I did deuine , But all 's one , Draffe is good enough for Swine . I doe not heere inueigh , or yet Enuy The places profit , none can come hereby , And in my hand it lyes ( if so I please ) To spoyle it , and not make it worth a Pease . And to the world I 'le cause it to appeare , Who e're giues for you Twenty pounds a yeare . Must from the Marchants pilfer Fourescore more , Or else he cannot liue , and pay the score . And to close vp this point , I say in briefe , VVho buyes it is a Begger , or a Thiefe , Or else a Foole , or to make all agree , He may be Foole , Thiefe , Begger , all the Three . So you false Bottles , to you both adieu , The Thames for mee , not a Denier for you . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13501-e150 a The 9. Muses b The picture of 2. fooles , & the third looking on , I doe ficly compare with the two black Bottles and my selfe . c I fill'd the 2 bottles , being in quantity 6. Gallons from euery Ship that brought Wines vp the Riuer of Thames . d The Wines had bin continually brought into the Leiutenants seller of the Tower for the space of 3●6 yeres , & neuer solde till now of late within this 4. or fiue yeares . e It was solde at these hard Rates by another Leiutenant , ( an honest religious Gentleman , and a good housekeeper ) by the perswasions of some of his double diligent Seruants . f Against all the world I oppose my selfe in this point , but yet I purpose to confesse more then any can accuse me of . g Except hee were a foole or a mad man. h I did heare that the leiutenant was to leaue his place , which made me bargain with him at any price , in hope that he would not stay the full Receiuing , which fel out as I wish'd it . i That Lieutenant left his place , by which I was eased of my hard paimēts . k By this Lieutenant that now is . l A desperate Clothworker that did hunger and thirst to vndoe him selfe . m Augury is a kind of Sooth saying , by the flight of birds . n Nabaoth was stoned to death , so am not I. My Bottles doe deserue a little reproofe . p This was a credit to the Kings Castle and to the Lieutenant thereof . q I found and brought 3. witnesses that knew , & took their Oathes for the quantities of the Bottles for 50. yeares . r 14. yeares . s This course neuer came into my mind in 14. yeares , whilst I kept the place . t A jarre of Oliues , or Oyle , a fewe Potatoes , Oranges Lemmons , & diuers other things , which a man may buy , get , and saue by . u The fellow was euer a true man to me , & I enuy not his happines , but yet I haue very foule play offred 〈◊〉 x They are made of a beasts hide . y At ● . gallons from a Ship , & from some but 1. gallon and a halfe , I account 30. Ships allowance is the quantity of 1. Hogshead , whereby it may be easily found in the Customhouse if I speake true or not . z Now I speak of the Bottles againe . 
A13502	----	Taylors feast contayning twenty-seaven dishes of meate, without bread, drinke, meate, fruite, flesh, fish, sawce, sallats, or sweet-meats, only a good stomacke, &c. Being full of variety and witty mirth. By John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1638 Approx. 69 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 54 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13502 STC 23798 ESTC S111405 99846760 99846760 11748 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13502) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 11748) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1010:21) Taylors feast contayning twenty-seaven dishes of meate, without bread, drinke, meate, fruite, flesh, fish, sawce, sallats, or sweet-meats, only a good stomacke, &c. Being full of variety and witty mirth. By John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [6], 103, [1] p. Printed by J. Okes dwelling in little St. Bartholmews, London : Anno. 1638. The first leaf is blank. Error in pagination: page 7 is incorrectly labeled p. 9. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Food -- England -- Humor -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Taylors Feast : Contayning Twenty-seaven Dishes of meate , Without Bread , Drinke , Meate , Fruite , Flesh , Fish , Sawce , Sallats , or sweet-meats , only a good stomacke , &c. Being full of variety and witty mirth . By JOHN TAYLOR . LONDON : Printed by J. Okes dwelling in little St. Bartholmews . Anno. 1638. The Names of the severall Dishes served in at this Feast . 1. THE Invitation . 2. Bread and Salt. 3. Great and small Oysters . 4. Brawne and Mustard . 5. Powderd Beefe and Cabbadge . 6. A Chine of roast Beefe . 7. Strong Beere . 8. Venison . 9. Wine Clarret . 10. Puddings and sawsadges . 11. Two Pigges , one raw , and the other roasted in a Cloak-bag . 12. A Goose. 13. A Cup of Sacke . 14. A couple of fat Ducks roasted . 15. A cup of small Beere . 16. Twelve Woodcocks in a dish . 17. A Loyne of Veale . 18. A Custard . 19. A whole Sturgeon like an old Colt. 20. A fresh Salmon . 21. Sixe six-penny Mutton pyes to make up the Feast . 22. A Pudding-pye . 23. A Foole. 24. Cheese . 25. A Posset . 26. Musicke . 27. One hundred Faggots to warme the Guests , and dresse the meate . Taylors Feast , Contayning Twenty seaven Dishes , without Bread , Drinke , Meate , Fruite , Flesh , Fish , Sawce , Sallats , or Sweet-meates . The Invitation . FIrst I would have my Guests understand this point of Modesty , not to presume to come unto my Feast without bidding , except they bring stooles with them ( as unbidden Guests should do . Secondly , I observe a Rule of the Italian ( which is now of late in great use in England ) which is to invite a man most earnestly to Dinner or Supper , hoping hee or they that are so invited , will have more manners then to come : But if they do come , then the Inviters doe esteeme the Guests unmannerly , and that they want good and gentile breeding . Thirdly , I would have none but such as have the gift of Abstinence and Fasting to come to my Feast , for my House stands ( as other Gentlemens houses do ) in a very wholesome and hungry Ayre , that shall not take away any mans Appetite , but allowing every man to depart with a good stomacke to his meate , ( when he hath it ) which is an apparant and infallible signe of health . Lastly , as many as please to come over my House any Morning , shall be very welcome to breake their Faces before they goe : Or if the greatest enemy I have doe ride within a Mile or two of my Dwelling , let him or they make bold to stay there a Moneth ( if they please ) and take such as they finde and welcome , for I will be but at ordinary or small charge in providing . Now Gentlemen Readers , or all of what degree so ever , that doe read this , I pray you all to take notice that you are my Guests , for the entertainement and Dyet you are like to have , I pray takeit in good part , washing is costly , and Soape is deare , therefore I will not have any Table-cloath , or Napkin fould , for you shall have no occasion to wash your hands , licke your lipps or fingers , nor shall you neede to make use of a Tooth-picke , you shall have no cause to draw Knives , neither shall here be any carving of either the wing of a Coney , or the fore-legge of a Capon : heere is no troublesome shifting of Trenchers or Platters , nor exception for the highest place at the Board , for the Dyet is a like in all places of the Table , ( and to avoyde Pride and emulation ) I have caused it to be made and fram'd , neither long or short , or middle size , square , round , or ovall ; and so you are all welcome unto my Tantalian Feast , which is drest without Kettle , Pot , or Spit , Dripping-pan , Frying-pan , Ladle , Scummer , Cooke , Scullion , Jacke , or Turne-broach : So now at the first sight you may perceive bread and salt , which is first placed upon every mans table , and so likewise at my Feast , and so in good order you shall finde the rest of the Feast follow in their due course and order . 2. Bread and Salt. BRead and Salt are the first Ushers to the Feast . The Anagram of Bread , is Beard or Bared , and though Salt come in with the first , yet Salt Anagrammatiz'd is Last ; which signifies that Bread and Salt should be the first broght in to a Table , and last Bared and carried away . But my Bread is not for every mans tooth , it not being made of Wheate , Rie , Barley , Oates , Mescellin , Beanes , Pease , or any Graine , Pulse , or Roote whatsoever . It is neither dough Baked , Baked dough , or burnt in the Oven , neither leavened or unleavened , nor any yeast , Barme , or Rising put into it , ( for it might fill my Guests with wind in stead of puffing them up with vaine glory . ) It hath neyther Crust or Crum , nor is it chip'd or unchip'd ; for the colour and finenesse of it is neyther White , Wheaten , Raunged , or Browne : it is neither in the shape of Loafe , Rowle , Cake , bunne , Wig , Manchet , Ruske , Bannock , Jannock , Symnell , or bread-pye , nor is it Cheat-bread , for it shall satisfie every man as much as hee lookes for : if it bee distastfull unto any , let him dippe it in the Salt , and it will be savoury presently . 3. Great and small Oysters . MY Bawdy Boy , having thus procur'd Faggots , yet hee 'l not be idle , but for your better content , the same Tyde hee will fit you with two Bushels of great and small Oysters ; for before hee had rowed foure miles , he overtooke a Katch that was swiming up towards London loaden with Oysters . Well overtaken Katch-man sayes one , Gramercy Water-man said the other ; wilt thou buy 100. of Faggots , said Bawdy Boy ? I know not what to doe with them said the other ; but yet I care not if I give thee a Crowne for them : Bawdy boy reply'd , I was glad ( quoth hee ) to take them for part of a desperate Debt , for where I had them , I could get no money , and my house is little , so that I want roome to lay them in , which is the cause that makes me to sell them to thee at so cheape a rate . The match being thus made , the Faggots were delivered into the Katch , and the five shillings was paid to the Water-man , who presently demanded of the Katch-man if his Oysters were good ? who answer'd , that his great ones were at sixe shillings the Bushell , ( water-measure ) and his small ones at two shillings the Bushell : Bawdy Boy said , thou hast bestowed thy money with me for Faggots , and I will leave it againe with thee for Oysters ; I will give thee a Crowne for a Bushell of the great , and two shillings for the small : all parties being agreed , the Oysters were measur'd , and throwne into the Boate : I pray thee Katch-man said Bawdy Boy , give me one great Oyster or two into the bargaine , which whil'st the Katch-man was reaching , the other put off his Boate , and rowed away : The one call'd ho Water-man , thou hast not payd me for my Oysters , the other said , you lye Katchman , you have Faggots for your Oysters ; the other reply'd , thou hast money for thy Faggots , the other answer'd , thou hast Faggots for thy Oysters , and for thy money both , and thou art an ignorant fellow , that know'st not how to reckon right : So away rowed he , and I pray Gentlemen fall to your Oysters . 4. A Coller of Brawne . WIll Baxted , a late well knowne fine Comedian , went in a Morning , on one of the Twenlve dayes in Christmas time , upon occasion of businesse to speake with an old rich miserable House-keeper , and having done what he came for , hee tooke his leave , leaving the old man in his Chamber : but as hee was going out of the doores , he said to the Fellow that let him out , My Friend , is not this Christmas time ? Yes that it is said the other ; then sayd Baxted , will not your Master bee angry if I doe goe away and not drinke ? the Fellow said , no sure , I thinke he will not be offended at all for such a small fault : O but ( quot Baxted ) it is good to be sure , and I am loth you should have any ill will for my sake , therefore I pray you , aske your Master if he will not be angry with you , if I doe goe away before I drinke : Sir sayd the fellow , I will not aske him such a question , but I will make you drinke without his knowledge . So into a Celler they went , and strong Beere was drawne in a Horne-cup , and as Baxted was drinking , the Master of the house knockt , and call'd , and whistl'd for his man as if hee had beene mad , so that the fellow was faine to leave Baxted in the Celler , and run upstaires in haste to his Master , who angryly said , ( Sirrha ) where have you beene ? and what is the reason that I have knock't , and bounc'd so long for you ? Sir ( sayd the servant ) I was giving a cup of Beere in the Celler to the Player that was with you : How , said the Master , thou idle wastfull knave , doe I keepe a Tap-house or Ordinary for every companion to tipple in ? I 'le make thee know it is not my Disposition , nor is it for my Reputation or profit : Truely Sir , said the Fellow , I could not chuse but make him drinke for shame , hee spake such words that mov'd me so ; and with that he told his Master what Baxted said , and that he had left him in the Celler alone : A Rope on him said the Old man , I will goe to him , and bid him welcome , ( though but with an ill will ) the mad knave will jeere me else . So he went to the Celler , where finding Baxted , hee said , you are welcome , and I thanke my man for having so much manners as to entertaine you ; for my head was full of businesse , and so I drinke to you good Mr. Baxted , and I pray you what say you to a slice of a Coller of Brawne and Mustard this Morning ? O sir , sayd hee , I would not say any thing at all to it , but I would doe somewhat to it if I had it ; truely Mr. Baxted ( said he ) and you shall have it ; so with an ill will he sent his man for it , who brought into the Celler a goodly Coller of Brawne , whole and uncut , Baxted knowing the Riches of the man , and the miserable poverty of his minde , drew forth his knife , with a full resolution to take the Coller lower , though the anger were raysed the higher , so with a desperate acute stomacke hee cut out a peece as bigge as a Penny-loafe on the top of the Brawne , which he presently consumed , and more for roagery than hunger : in the meane space the sight of the Brawnes demollishing vext the Old man : But Baxted persisting twixt Jeast and Coller , gave it the second cut in the other side on the top , so that it look'd forked like the Signe of the Myter ; at which the Old man could no longer hold , or contayne himselfe from speaking , saying , Master Baxted , are you marryed sir ? No sir quoth he , I am single , and I keepe no house ; the other said , I thought so by your cutting of Brawne , for I doe thinke you doe neither know the price of such a Coller , or what belongs 〈◊〉 it . Baxted answered him , Sir , indeed for the price I neither know , nor care for , but yet I doe know what belongs to it , which is a cup of Muskadell , if I could get it . So the old Mizer was faine to send his man to the Taverne for halfe a Pinte of Muskadell , to wash downe Baxteds Brawne , who was no sooner gone , but the old man in a rage gave his man warning to provide him another Master , for hee would keepe no such riotting knaves that would entertaine such bold Guests . 5. Powderd Beefe and Cabbage , and a messe of Mustard . A Water-man ( now living ) named Gilford , dwelt on the Bank-side , and comming home to his Dinner , which was Beefe and Cabbage , of which hee had made pottage , hee prayed his wife to make haste , and take it off the Fire , that hee might quickly dine , and bee gone ; and whilst the woman was reaching a Porrenger and Platter , a Cur-dog came into the house , lifted up his legge , and pist in the Porridge-pot amongst the meare and Cabbage , which the man perceiving told his Wife , and catch'd the dogge , and almost beate him to death : but the woman intreated her Husband to eate his Dinner , for it should bee never the worse , when shee had strayned the Pottage through a cleane cloath , but all her perswasions could not make him eate . Mustard . THree Gentlemen of the ancient race of Redshanks , ( now called Highland-men , because they inhabite in the Mountaynous parts of the North of Scotland ) these three having occasions to come into England , being at their Inne , had to their Dinner a peece of powdered Beefe and Mustard : now neither of them had never seene Mustard before , wherefore one of them demanded what Deele it was ? the Host answered , that it was good sawce for their meate ; Sawce said the other ? it hath an ill looke , I pray let me see you eat some first ; then the Host took a bit of Beefe , and dipt it in the Mustard , & did eate it : the Highland-man presently tooke his meat and rowl'd it in the Mustard , and began to chaw , but it was so strong , that it was no sooner in his mouth , but it set him a snuffing and neesing , that he told his Friends , ( Ducan and Donald ) that hee was slaine with the grey Grewell in the wee-dish ; he bid them draw their Whineards , and sticke the false Lowne , ( their Host ) hee pray'd them to remember his last love to his wife and Barnes , and withall to have a care to beware of the grey grewell , for the Deele was in 't . But after the force of the Mustard was spent , the Gentleman left neesing , all was pacified , mine Host was pardoned , and Mustard was good sawce for powderd Beefe . 6. A Chyne of Beefe roasted . AFaire Chyne of Beefe was once given to Mr. Iohn Fletcher , ( the Poet ) he pray'd his Hostesse , ( being an old woman neere the Bank-side , where he lodged ) to salt it well seven or eight daies , and he would invite some friends to the eating of it : the day being come , and the Chine at the Fire , the Woman had not playd the Huswife so well in salting of it , but that it had taken Ayre , and entertain'd more Tenants than were welcome : but after it had beene three houres at the fire , Master Fletcher had a minde to have a slice hot from the spit , and for that purpose came downe from his Chamber , drew his Knife , and cut ; and as hee cut , hee espyed Maggots drop out , at which hee was angry , but suffering the Spit to goe about , hee cut on the other side , and found it worse : Whereupon Fletcher being alone , ( for the Woman was gone forth , and left the Jacke to looke to the Spit ) was so enraged , that hee tooke the spit up , and setting his foot against the meate , footed it off , and threw it into a muddy ditch on the other side of the way , and putting the Spit into the Jackerope againe , went up to his Chamber againe in a chafe : the old woman suddainly comming in , and seeing the meate gone , was amazed , and stept into the streete , and asked some of her neighbours , if they saw any body goe into her house ? one made answer , that Mr. Fletcher went over to the Ditch , and backe againe , but he saw no body else ; then the woman went to see , and shee perceived the mudde was newly inclosed over something that had beene cast there in lately : so she fetcht a Rake , and raked the Beefe out of the ditch , put it under a Pumpe , and with a wispe , ashes , and sand , wash'd and scower'd it , so that all the Gentiles in it were confounded , then to the Spit shee put it againe , winds up the Jacke , which made a noise in his language whir , whir ; which Mr. Fletcher hearing , mused what was provided for Dinner for his Guests and himselfe ; the old woman being gone into her back-side , Fletcher stole softly downe the stayres , and peeping towards the fire , saw the Chine a roasting the second time , at which amazement hee biest himselfe , saying , Art thou crawl'd thither againe , thou shalt never be remov'd for me againe : so it was roasted , and gave good content to the Guests , but some of them said , it had taken winde . Gentlemen , I doubt you have sate too long over your Beefe , and therefore a cup of Beere is not amisse , and then you shall be furnish'd with some other Viands . 7. Strong Beere . TWo Souldiers of old acquaintance , having beene long asunder , chanced to meete , and after salutations they agree'd to enter an Ale-house , where a formall fashionable Tapster fill'd them as much nicke and froath with Petars of Tobacco , as made them ( in his estimation ) to bee reckoned at two shillings ; they fell to the discourse of their severall Fortunes and Services , the one of Russia and Poland , the other of Germany and Sweaden ; they talk't of hunger and thirst , cold , and nakednesse , sieges , and assaults , Artillery , Ammunition , Guns , and Drummes , wounds , scarres , death , and all the perils incident to men of the Sword. The Tapster over-hearing them , said , that they were the better welcome for being Souldiers , and that hee had beene one of that Martiall Traine himselfe in the Low-countries , where ( hee thank'd God ) hee neither did harme , nor tooke any ; the best was , that hee had learn'd so much wit that no man could couzen him : the Souldiers answer'd him , that his labour was worth his travell , in learning so much cunning , and so they paid their reckoning , and departed . They had not gone farre , but they met with another of their old acquaintance , ( a cunning shark ) to whom they told the bragging confidence of the Tapster : How said he , will he not be couzned ? Tell mee where hee dwells , and goe you two and stay at a Taverne that 's next him ; and I will first be with him , and then come quickly to you . The place being told , and the Taverne appointed , the witty Soldier went to the Tapster , and call'd for two Gunnes of Beere ; Guns quoth the Tapster ? Canns you would say ; the other reply'd , I doe meane Cannes , but I have beene so us'd to Cunnes in the Warres , that I forget my selfe , and call every thing a Gunne : So the Beere was fill'd in , and drank , and the Tapster fill'd his Gunnes or Cannes by couples , which they dranke betweene them ; then the Souldier said that hee saw a Tapster winne a Wager lately beyond beleefe ; for he brought sixe Cannes of Beere from the Tap all full , in one hand , and set them on the Table , not spilling one drop ; Sir , said the Tapster , I dare to lay a Crowne that I can doe that , I will lay as much that you doe it not said the other ; so the Wager was layd on the Boord , but whilst the Tapster was filling the Cannes , the Souldier ran away with the money , and straight perceived for all his wit and cunning , yet was able to be couzned . 8. Venison and Wine . A Gentleman dwelt two miles from a Market-towne , where ( at a Taverne ) hee caused some bottles of Wine to be fill'd to carry home , because he had invited some friends to his house to eate a Venison Pasty with him the next day : but his man and himselfe dranke so hard , that they forgot their Liquor , ( I meane the Bottles . ) The next day being come , and Dinner ready to bee laid on the Table , they remembred the Wine ; so the Gentleman commanded his man to take a Horse , ( which was sadled in the Stable ) and to ride for the Wine with all speed . Well , to Dinner they went , and the Serving-man to the Stable , the Pafry was opened , and to 't they fell , and after an Houres time expecting the Wine , now sayd the Gentleman , methinks my man is riding hither in post , I heare the Horse dash ; at which words the fellow entred : Hah well said , art thou come said the Master ? we have stay'd long , and thou hast made but slow speed ; a poxe on 't said the Fellow , if I should bee hang'd I cannot finde the bridle . 10. Puddings and Sawsadges . THe Pudding and the Sawsages will bee cold Gentlemen , if you doe not fall to , and then they will not be worth a sir-reverence ; and methinks it is an easie peece of Logick , to prove a Pudding to bee a perpetuall motion , for it is alwayes moving . And as an Arrow , flies from Butt to Butt , So doth a Pudding poste , from gut to gut . SImon Wadle , a Vintner , ( that once kept the Taverne neere the Temple-barre , at the Signe of Saint Dunstane ) with some other Vintners , had beene to taste and buy Wines at the Merchants , and having done their occasions , happened into the three Tunnes at Garlike-●ithe , where all the meate they could have on the suddaine , was a pound of Sawsadges ; Wadlo being hungry , had no great stomacke to have so many partners in so small a dish , and having an old rotten Tooth in his pocket , ( which a Barbar in Fleet-streete had drawne from him the day before ) hee secretly convey'd , and thrust the said Tooth into one of the Sawsages , which he himselfe first tooke into his hand ; and after his associates had each one tasted a little , and began to bee quicke and nimble , Wadlo snap'd his old tooth in his chaps , and pulling it forth , shewed it to the company ; upon the sight whereof they were all struck with feare and amazement , beleeving by the Tooth , that the Sawsages had beene made of Mans flesh : so they call'd for Sacke and Sallet-oyle , supposing they had beene poysoned ; but Wadlo fell to with a good stomacke , saying that hee could be no worse poysoned with them than hee was : The man of the house vowed that the murderous Jade that made the Sawsages , should be burnt . But after Wadlo had eaten up all , hee sent for the Barbar that drew the Tooth , and every man was presently cured , and the Sawsagewoman escaped burning . 11. A Pigge . A Collier , neere Croyden , having loaden his Cart with Coales for London , a woman that dwelt neare him that was Nurse to a Marchants child of the City , desired the Collier to remember her humble service to her Maister and Mistresse , and to tell them ( God be thanked ) their Childe was well ; and withall she intreated the Collier to carry them a live Pigge , ( which she had put in a bag before the Colliers face : ) the Collier tooke the bagge and made it fast upon the top of his Cart , and away came he . When hee came into London where hee should deliver his Coales , hee tooke the bagge with the Pigge , and tyed it under the Cart to one of the spoakes of the Wheele , and when hee had almost unloaden , a couple of Porters stood and perceived something moove in the bagge , did suppose it was a Pigge or a Goose , or some such creature , which they had borrowed upon some Common or high way , as they came by night : And whilst the Colliers were busied , & absent in carriage , and empting their Sackes , the Porters stole the Pigge out of the bagge , and put in a little cur dogge of their owne , making it fast as they found it , and away go they : The dogge impatient of his bondage , began to frig and fling , as he had bin mad , that the Colliers said , the Divell was newly entred into the Pigge ; or else the Pig did presage that hee was neare his owne death . Wel , the Cart being empty , the Collier takes the dog-pigge , and carried it to the Marchant , delivering his Message ( which was welcome ) saying that he must carry the bag backe agen ; so hee went to a side Table , and opened it , and putting in his hand for a Pigge , the dogge bit him by the fingers ; a pox on yee dee bite , quoth he : what doth he bite : quoth the Marchant , it can not be , I will take him out my selfe , then the Marchant put his hand into the bag , and the dogge snapt him so currishly that hee fetcht blood of his fingers , at which hee was angry , and bid the Divell take the Collier and the Pigge both . At which the Marchants wife laughed , and cald them both fooles , and with that she tooke the bagge by the bottome , and shooke out the dogge : the dogge being amazed , ( not knowing where hee was ) turn'd round twice or thrice , and leapt over a Hatch , and away ran he home to pick the bones of the Pigge : the Collier hang'd down his Head all ashamed to looke upon the Marchant . The Marchant ( standing with his fingers bleeding ) very angerly asked the Collier that if hee had no body but hee to abuse , and play the knave withall , to bring him a dog instead of a Pigge : to whom the Collier replyd , and also affirm'd with an oath , that his intent was free from abusing him or any man else , and that it was a Pig in the morning . The Marchant swore it was a dogge , the Collier swore it was a Pig ; and so much good may it doe you with your Pig. A Pig miraculously roasted . BUt a raw Pig is no mans meat , and therefore now you shall have one roasted , and strangely over-roasted . A Gentleman that dwelt about Enfield ten miles from London , had a Buffe , tough suite in Law , that had lasted him ten yeares , and every Terme hee sent his Counsellor a Pig , scalded and ready drest for the Spit : It fell so that at the beginning of a Mid-summer Terme : Richard the Serving-man had the Pigge in a cloak-bag a Horse-backe behind him , and as he was riding by Totnam-high-crosse , other Serving-men were there drinking at the signe of the Swan , who espied Richard , they cald him to make him drinke . Richard was glad to see his old acquaintance , and alighted , put his Horse in the Stable , tooke off his cloak-bag , and layd it on the board , telling his friends of the Pigge , and that it was the fortieth Pig that he had carried in ten yeares from his master to a Lawyer . The company gave Richard the hearing , and with all one of them cunningly stole the Pig out of the cloakbag , and carried it into the Kitching , cōmanding it to be speedily roasted : in the meane time they plied Richard with cup after cup , that they were al merry : the Pig being roasted , they wrapt it close in the napkin again , that no heat should come from it , and put it into the cloak-bag : so they took suddain leave of Richard , who was quickly mounted with his piping hot pig behind him . So that he being well lined with Sack , with the hot Pig at his back-side , and the Sunne in his face , & exceeding hot , so that poore Richard did ride , as it were betweene two fires , besides the Horse trotted terrible , which made the cloak-bag skip , and the Pig was tost as in a blanket : In these occurrences , Richard was halfe stewed , so that the sweate distil'd from his body , and lyquored his bootes . In this bloated case he came to London , and set up his Horse , tooke off his cloak-bag , which carrying under his arme , it was so hot that his side seem'd to scald , and hee thought he had gotten a Plewrisie , or a burning Feaver . Being come to the Councellours chamber , hee remembred his Masters and Mistresses loves to him , and that they had ( acording to custome ) sent him a Pigge , and withall complained of the soultrinesse of the weather , and the extreame heate he was in . Then he puts his hand into the Cloak-bagge to take out hte PIg , which was so hot , that he said there was fire in it ; at last hee drew it out , and when hee opened it , that it had gotten aire , it reak'd and smoak'd in such manner , that Richard said , there was one of the Wonders of the World ; for betweene the heate of the Sun , and the hard trotting of his Horse , there was a Pigge roasted all to pieces in the Cloake-bagge . A Gentleman loved the sole of a Goose more than any part else , but his Cooke having a Wench that long'd for it , hee adventred to give it her : when the Goose was carved , and brought to the Table , the Gentleman mist the sole , and demanded the Cooke for it ; the Cooke made answer , Sir , this was no Goose , it was a Gander , and and he lost his sole with treading his Sister . This Goose deserves some sawce , but I can swimme no more than a Goose , therefore I 'le wade no further : much good may it doe you Gentlemen . 13. A cup of Sacke . NOw it is but folly to offer a little Sacke to my Readers , for it is not a little or small Sack that can hold them ; yet for all that they may hold or contayne a little Sacke , ( when they have it . ) A roaring Gallant having dranke so much Sacke , that his head and belly were full , and empty of Ebriety and Sobriety , and his purse and brayne discharg'd of Wit and Money , was inforced to cast up his Sacke with more haste than he receiv'd it , which being done , and his stomacke somewhat eas'd , hee threw the Pottle-pot downe the staires , saying , Drawers , you Rogues , bring more Sacke , for all this is gone . A Spitch-cocke , or roasted Eele turn'd to a Bull. THere was a great Dispute held amongst good fellows once , of what thing in the world would live longest after exquisite and extreame Torments : the Judgement was generall , that it was an Eele , for first hee would live after his head was off ; after he was flay'd , after hee had his entrailes and heart taken out , after he was cut in peeces , yet every peece would have life in it , after it was laid on the Gridyron : Then one of the company said , I doe approove of your opinions ; for an Eele doth live longer after hee is dead , than any other thing that everliv'd on the earth . 14. A couple of fat Ducks roasted . NEere the Citty of Gaunt in Flanders , in a small Village there was lately a Priest that preached , or rayled most bitterly against the Protestants , calling them Reprobates , Cast-awayes , Hugonats , and Hereticks , good for nothing but to feed fire , flame , and faggots ; for which constant way of invective talking the Priest was mightily followed by abundance of ignorant people , ( the most part women ) as the like troupes doe into many places haunt Schismaticall Seperatists , that willingly would dislocate the Conformity and Unity of the Church . Amongst the rest of this Priests Auditorie , there was one man and his wife that seldome failed to heare him ; but it hapned that the Woman was to give her mayd-servant leave to goe to a Wedding at Gaunt , ( where she had a kinswoman to bee married ) so that her Mistris was forc'd to stay at home that Sunday , and dresse Dinner for her Husband and family . The Sermon being done , the Goodman came home , and told his Wife that their Priest had made an extraordinary piece of worke , that the like was never spoken , and that hee thought all the Protestants were knock'd downe with his words , and that he was griev'd at the heart shee was not at Church to heare him . At which report the woman was so full of griefe , ( for her being absent from so rare a matter ) that shee could eate no meate to Dinner , but fed upon sorrow ; her Husband began to comfort her , and told her , that if shee would bee merry , and eate her meate , hee would procure the Priest to come to their house on the Wednesday following , and there , ( in their Parlour ) he should repeate the same Sermon to them privately . The woman was well contented with the motion , and said , that shee would bestow a couple of as good Ducks roafted on him as ever hee eate in his life . ( Now you must understand , that the Woman was hard and miserable , and did seldome use to feede her Husband , or any other with Ducks : and the Priest on the other side , did love a Ducke so well , that hee would run over the Parish after them . ) Well , the Wednesday was come , the Priest came , the Ducks were on the Spit roasted , the Sermon was repeated , and Dinner was expected : The Woman arising from her seate , made a low courtesie to the Priest , saying , Sir , I will goe into the Kitchin , and make haste with your meate , the while I will leave you with my Husband to discourse . in the Parlour : So the good wife went to her Maid , saying , In faith Wench our Priest hath made a good Declaration , but I would my Ducks were alive againe , for it grieves me to remember how the pretty fooles would quacke , quacke , about the backsides ; but troubles my mind more , to thinke how , like Wolves , the Priest and thy Master will devoure them . The Maid answer'd her Dame , that if she pleased , that we two here will eate up the Ducks in the Kitchin , the whilst the Priest and hee are prating in the Parlour . The woman reply'd , that she could finde in her heart to doe it , but shee could not answer the matter with credit . Then said the Maide , Dame , let us eate the Ducks , and I will lay my Quarters wages against them , that wee will come off with fame and credit . The match was agreed upon , the Ducks were taken from the Spit , and betwixt them one was eaten , and the other dismember'd , and spoil'd : What must be done now said the Dame ? I pray you ( quoth the Maid ) to lay the cloath , with Bread , and Salt , and Trenchers ; which she did , ( her Husband bidding her make haste with Dinner ) then shee came to her Maid againe , and asked what must further be done ? Then said the Maid , you see our Knives are foule and blunt , I pray you whifper our Master in the eare , and tell him you will turne the grindstone whilst hee doth sharpen them : Then the woman did as her Maid bid her , and as her husband and shee were grinding in the back-side , the Maid went into the Parlour to the Priest , and told him that he was in great and suddaine danger , for her Master and Dame were much defam'd by reason of too much familiarity which was suspected betweene her Dame and his good father-hood , and therefore they had sent for him , with a trick to abuse him , to make him relate a Sermon , ( which they regard not : ) and as for the Ducks which he expected , shee swore truely there was not a Ducke in the house : The maine plot was , that they did purpose to gueld him , and therefore were sharpning their Knives ; which if hee pleas'd but to looke out at the Hall-window , he might plainely see . The Priest was all amazed at this newes , and looking , ( as the Maid said ) hee spied the man and his wise grinding and turning , at which sight he took his heeles , and ran away as if hee had beene two stone lighter than hee was . Then the Maid went to her Master , and said , that shee thought the Priest was mad , or the Devill was in him ; for he came suddainly into the Kitchin , and was run away with both the Ducks . Whereat the hungry man was angry , and in haste ( with one of the naked Knives in his hand ) he ran after the Priest ; so they both ran , the one for feare , and the other for hunger : the man calling to the Priest , bad him for shame not to carry them both away , but to let his wife have one of them : the Priest made answer ( as he ran ) that thy wife and thee are a couple of Rogues , and they should both bee hang'd before they had one of them , and that he would keepe them both whilst he had them . Thus the Sermon was said , the Priest was affraid , his hunger unstay'd , the Jest well laid , the Wages paid , Gramercy Maid . 15. A cup of small Beere . MY Reader perhaps may bee thirsty or dry with relating this long Tale of the Ducks , therefore it cannot be amisse to give him a Bowle of small Beere for a cooler . A Gentleman that dwelt tenne miles from London , sent his Footman in all haste to the Citty , to tell a Merchant welcome newes of a rich Unkle of his lately dead , that had left him somewhat to make him merry for his Death , with an out-side mourning in Blacke , and an in-side laughing with Sacke . The Foot-man having his Message , with a Letter , made as much speed as hee could , in hope of Reward for his good tidings , so that he seem'd by his pace to have wings on his heeles , and by the fogge or sweate hee was in , you would have suppos'd him to have beene bloated or stewed body and bones . Being come to the Merchant , hee deliver'd the Letter , which after he had halfe read , the Contents contented him so , that hee call'd his Maid , commanding her to fill a Bowle of Beere , and give it to the Foot-man , ( who stood dropping with sweate as if he had newly beene duck'd ) but hee setting it to his mouth , swallowed it with extreame eagernesse , and finding by the taste that it was a poore mortified Liquor , having no vivacity left in it , but meerely cold , comfortlesse , and at the best , a poore decayed single-soal'd drinke , although it were dead , and a deceased remnant of humidious Aquacity , nay though it had not upou the death or departure from its Cinnicall or Diogenicall habitation given so much as a good rellish , a smacke , or a taste to the poore Foot-man , that ever any Malt had beene drown'd , drench'd , or imbrew'd into it , yet hee ( as a man of a milde temper ) amidst his heate , unwilling to speake ill of the dead , did plainely tell the Merchant thus : Sir , I doe thinke that your Beere hath ran as fast as I have ran , and faster . Why sayst thou so ? ( quoth the Merchant ) because said the other , it sweates more then I do : it cannot be said the Marchant : the foote-man replied that if it did not sweate , he was much deceived , for hee was sure it was in a cold sweate , or all of a water . Another piece of Beefe , and then how the Beefe was purchased , &c. THough Beefe be accounted a grosse dish at most of our late Sardanapolitan feasts and Banquests , yet I doubt not but many of my Guests ( or Readers ) wil be well pleased to eat Beefe ( when they have it ) but I being reasonably well stored , will tell them how I came by it , and then ( as they like it ) let them fall too and welcome . Now how the Beefe was purchased . A Brace or couple of monilesse Gallants , who had met with some believing or credulous Mercer and Taylor , and sworne ( and lied themselves into compleate suites of praeter-plu-perfect-plush , or well deserving beaten Uelvet : these two had long time shared equall fortunes , and did purpose to live and dye in a brotherly conjunction ; and indeed it was pitty to part them . It befel that upon an Ash-wensday , they chanced to read a Proclamation for the strict observing and keeping of Lent ; at which they were both exceedingly grieved , so that the one said to the other , I cannot live according as is here commanded , for I will eate no fish , and therefore must have flesh : The other then replied I I thinke neither of us have friends , money , or credit , to purchase flesh or fish ; but if thou canst borrow a Porters habite , as a Frock , Cap , Basket , Rope , or Halter ; stockins , shooes , and the like , then I will assure thee , I will load thy backe with good Beefe ; my wit shall get it , and thy backe shall beare it , and our old Hostesse where we lodge , will powder it , and wee all will bee merry , and eate it . To be short , the out-side of a Porter was borrowed , and on the Thursday after Ash-wednesday , to the Butchers went this Gentleman-porter , and his consort the Kater . ( Now there was an old Doctor of Physicke , which for some Reasons shall not be named : Hee dwelt in London , of good repute , and great estate , but so lame of the Gout , that he seldome went out of his House , but sate in a Chaire , and gave his opinion of Urins and Diseases , and Directions , and Bills to Patients and Apothecaries . ) This Doctor was the stake or ayme that the Master Cheater did purpose to make the Buckler for his knavery : For comming to a Butcher , hee bargained with him at the best rate for so many Stone of the chiefest Beefe , with a legge and shoulder of Mutton , and loyne of Veale , which came to fifty shillings and odde money ; which being cut in peeces , and joynted , and laid in the Basket , he asked the Butcher if hee knew such a Doctor of Physicke ? ( as afore-said ) the Butcher said that he knew him well , that hee was an honest Gentleman , and that one of his men did buy meate often of him at his shop ; the Cheater reply'd , that hee was also one of the Doctors men , and that hee that was wont to buy meat of him , was his Fellow , but he was gone into the Countrey about some occasions , and that himselfe for his part had laid out all his money in the Citty uppon other things for his Master , therefore hee intreated the Butcher to let one of his servants to goe home with him , and take his due for his meate : The Butcher said it was a busie time , and had my customers to serve , yet hee commanded one of his men , ( calling him Richard ) to goe with the Gentleman , to bring 52. shillings and 10. pence , and to make haste backe againe . Away went the Butcher , the Porter , and the Gentleman , who asked the Butcher his name , and of what Country he was ? he said his name was Richard Snelling , of such a Parish in Northamptonshire ; the Cheater straite began to call Richard Cousin , and told him , that himselfe was a Snelling by the Mothers side , and that hee would doe more for him than hee was aware of . When they came into a Lane neere London wall , ( called PhilipLane ) where the old Doctor dwelt , the Cheater said Richard , I will goe before , and have the gate or doore open , because the Porter is loaden ; so running apace to the gate , hee knock'd , which straite a Maide opened , to whom he said , yonder comes a Butcher with a Porter , I pray you let them rest here in the Hall whilst I doe speake a word with your Master in the Parlour : as hee requested , it was done , and the Cheater went to the Doctor , and told him that hee was a Gentleman famous for Learning and Experience , and that though hee were lame in his legges , yet hee was sound in his Art and profession , which had moved him to bring to him a Patient , ( his Kinsman ) who was of Gentle Birth , but in his wild youth ran from his Parents , and bound himselfe Apprentise to a Butcher , and now within two dayes he was halfe franticke , and talk'd of nothing but money , which he thought was some distemperature in the Brayne , through want of sleepe , which surely Sir ( said he to the Doctor ) I am perswaded that you can effect in one night , and you shall have ten pound for the Cure : He is very milde and tractable , his fault is onely talking of Money , and he staies without in your Hal. I pray you call him in said the Doctor , which the Cheater did , saying , Richard , goe into the Parlour , my Master will pay you : so in went the Butcher to the Physitian , the whilst the two Cheaters went away with the meate . Then Richard entred with his Cap off , and made many scraping legges to the Doctor , who bade him put on his Cap , and take a stoole , and sit downe by him ; but Richard said , hee had more manners than so , desiring his Worship to helpe him to his money : Alas good fellow sayd the Doctor , I would not have thee to set thy heart upon mony , for they that doe love money , are bewitch'd with this World , and have little thought or hope of a better ; that money was like fire and water , very necessary for the use of Man , ( so long as they are servants , and kept under ) but where they get the maistry , they will doe a man a world of mischiefe . Richard reply'd , ( Sir ) I care not for money , but I must have money of you for my Master Beefe : to whom the Doctor said , Richard , thou art farre gone , how long hast thou beene in this case , to talke thus idly of Money ? I pray thee canst thou say thy prayers , or Creed ? Then straite the Butcher began to waxe hot , and said , that he was not farre gone , nor would goe without his Money ; and for the case hee was in , it is the same hee will be in , till he have his Money : And as for prayers , hee came not thither to pray ; and therefore I pray Sir , to leave jesting , and give me my Money , for my Master and Mistris are hastie folkes ; and will bee very angry with me for my long stay , and therefore give me my money . The Doctor perceiving that he could not put Richard out of talking of Money , did suppose he was stark mad , and therefore he quickly called for his men , ( William and Thomas ) and commanded them to take Richard , and put him into a close Chamber , and to draw curtaines , and shut up the windows , whereby hee might be kept darke , ( for the better settling of his braines ) saying that Richard came of good friends , and that a worthy Gentleman ( his Unkle ) was with him but now , and further , that hee had a good hope to cure him in short time . The Serving-men ( as their Master bad them ) tooke hold of Richard , who would not goe with them ; then they began to pull , hale , and tugge him , so that Richard in anger , asked if they would make him mad : Then they fell by the ears , and cuffe , and buffetted till they were bloody-nos'd , and their Bands torne ; the Doctor still crying to his men , Away with him , I will tame him before I have done , that he shall set his minde no more upon Money . Richard ( being weake ) was dragg'd perforce to the Chamber , when presently the Butcher ( Richards Master ) came to the doore , and knock'd , demanding whether hee had not a servant in the House ? one of the men said , there was a young fellow in the House that was stark mad , and that they would hhe had beene hang'd before they saw him , hee had beaten and torne them so : what , is he mad , ( quoth the Butcher ? ) yes said the other , hee talkes of Money , and would have it of my Master ; but feare not ( honest man ) my Master will cure him . What , is my man mad said the Butcher ? yea quot the other , hee would have Money , I told you : Money , why should hee not have Money said the Butcher ? He must , and shall have Money , and so will I : Are you as mad as your man said the Serving-man ? then we must be troubled to have another darke Chamber for you too ; and ( growing to high words one with another ) at last the Butchers wife came , ( flinging her Armes as if she had beene swimming ) using the volubility of her Tongue to a shrill and lofty straine , ( a principall vertue in too many women ) that the House rang with the clamour , ( as if it had beene a Cock-pit ) asking her Husband why hee staid there , and where the idle rogue her man was , that hee brought not away the Money . The old lame Doctor , hearing such a noise , asked one of his servants what the matter was : who told him that the Butcher and his wife both were come for money : Hoy-day , said the Doctor , I thinke all the World is made for Money ; goe and tell the Butcher and his Wife , that I have not darke roomes enow in my House for them : so after a little conference together , the Doctors maid affirm'd that a Porter rested his meate in their Hall , whilst the other Gentleman spake with him in the Parlour , and that they both went away when the Butchers man went in : thus the truth was cleared , the Cheaters were victual'd , the Doctor was gull'd , the Butcher was couzned , and Richard was released . 16. Twelve Woodcockes in a Dish . ABout sixe or seaven new molded Gallants , ( whose outsides were silke and slashes , and their insides jeeres and flashes ) were invited to a worthy Cittizens House to dinner , where amongst a great deale of other good cheare , there was brought to the Board a Jury of Woodcockes in one Dish , laid Head to Head in the center of the platter , as fantastick Travailers and their Wives doe lie feete to feet in the great Bed of Ware , sometimes by dozens . These Guests ( beeing loath to conceale their small Tallents of wit ) had an especiall Art to breake ten good jeasts of other mens , before they were able to make one good one of their own : they began to jybe at the Woodcockes , and said they were a Jury Empanell'd ; another sayd , it was hard to judge whether they were a petty , or a Grand-Jury : a third said , that he thought that those twelve were an Embleme of the twelve Companies . The Citizen ( being a Gentleman of place and eminence ) not thinking their eering worthy of his anger , would not set his gravity against their foppery ; yet thus mildly he answered them . You are welcome Gentlemen , and I do wish that my entertainment were better for you : I see there is one dish that distastes you , but it shall be taken away ; for I do assure you , that I never had so many Woodcockes at my Table at one time in all my life ; but I thinke the fault is not in my Cater , for here are at least halfe a dozen more then he provided . So hee commaunded one that waited on , to take away the roasted Woodcockes from the rest . 17. A Loyne of Veale . ALthough the bodies of men are all ( or the greatest number ) of one forme or a like frame , all compacted and composed of the foure Elements and Humors : yet those Elementary Humours are so variously mixed in men , that it makes them different in their Appetites , Affections , Inclinations , Constitutions and Actions : For example , some wil gape and make water at the sight of a hot roasted pigge ; some wil run from an Eele ; some dce hate Cheese so , that they will not handle a knife that hath cut it : some will sweat at the sight of a messe of Musrard . Mr. Anthony Munday ( sometimes a Writer to the City of London ) would run from the Table at the sight of a fore-quarter of Lambe roasted : And a reverend grave Judge of this Kingdome , did abhorre a Ducke as it had bin a Divell . Another Gentleman did love Salt , but by no meanes could indure to see it about the sides of a dish , but would swound at the sight of it . A Schoole-master in this Citty cannot indure to smell Apples . Amongst all these , I my selfe did know one Thomas Vincent that was a Book-keeper or prompter at the Globe play-house neere the Banck-end in Maid-lane : As also I did know Iohn Singer , who playd the Clownes part at the Fortune-play-house in Golding-Lane , these two men had such strange and different humours , that Vincent could not endure the sight or scent of a hot Loyne of Veale , and Singer did abhorre the smell of Aquavitae : But it hapned that both these were invited to Dinner by a Widdow , ( that did not well know their dyets ) and as they sate at the Boord , a hot Loyne of Veale was set before Vincent , who presently began to change colour , and looke pale , and in a trembling manner hee drop'd in a swowne under the Table ; the Widdow ( being in a great amazement ) made haste for an Aquavitae bottle to revive him , which was no sooner opened , but the very scent sent Singer after Vincent in the like foolish traunce . But when the Veale and Aqua vitae were taken away , after a little time the men recover'd : Vincent went into another Roome , and dranke , and Singer call'd for the Veale , and din'd well with it . 18. A Custard . A Prating fellow , that dwelt in a Citty that had in former times beene governe by Bayliffes , and was newly made a Majoralty , did brag that their first Majors feast was most sumptuous , and in price and value beyond the Lord Majors of York or London , for besides other Dishes and provision , there was sent in by the Gentlemen of the Countrey , Fourteene brace of Bucks ; I demanded of him at what time of the Yeere their Major was chosen ? He answer'd me , that about the Twentieth of October hee tokee his Oath , and kept his Feast : I reply'd , that I thought hee was mistaken , for the Season for Buckes doth not hold or continue till the Moneth of October ; then hee said , that if they were not Bucks , they were Does : To which I seemed to grant ; but withall I told him , that if they had beene Bucks , all had beene too short of our London Feast ; for wee were able on that day to drowne such a towne as theirs with sixteene Tunne of Custard . 19. A Sturgeon like an old Colt. THere is a Market-town ( which I will not name in Print ) in the roade betwixt London and Yorke , which hath a pretty River or Brooke rnnnes by it , up which Brooke it did chance that a Sturgeon did swim or shoote , ( somewhat neere the Towne ) the which a Gentleman that dwelt neere , espied , and caused a small Rope to bee put through the gills of the Fish , and fastened it to a stumpe of a Willow , intending to take it as a wafte or stray , that fell into the limits of his owne Bounds or Royalty : but as hee was gone to make provision for the carriage of it , and to call his servants for that purpose , the newes of the Sturgeon was brought to the Towne , and the Recorder told the Major , that it was taken in their Liberty , and that they were better to spend or give an Hundred pound , than to lose or hazard the losse of so much ground as the Sturgeon was within their Liberty and Lordship : and therfore it were their best course to goe speedily and fetch it away into the Towne perforce . This counsell was lik'd and approv'd , and so with one consent , the Major with his Brethren , the Recorder , and Officers , with the whole Drove or Heard of the Townsmen , went out to bring in the Sturgeon . And as they went , Master Major said , that he had eaten part of such a Fish many times , but in all his life hee had never seene a whole Sturgeon , and therfore he did not know of what shape or proportion it was : to whom one of the Aldermen said , Sir , in my youth I did use to goe to Sea , and then I did now and then see one , and I can compare or liken him to nothing more than to an old ragged Colt ; 't is like enough to bee so ( quoth the Major ) and for any thing I know he may be like a Goose , a Cocke , or a Bull : Thus as they walk'd and talk'd many words to small purpose , they espy'd a fellow leading a young Colt with aslip from the Brooke thwart over the field , which caused one of the Aldermen to say to the Major , Sir , yonder man ( be like ) hath had some warning of our comming , and you may see he is about to prevent us , for he is leading away the Sturgeon from us ; with that the Major called aloud , saying , Hallow , thou fellow , I charge and command thee , that thou bring hither our Sturgeon before me : The fellow ( wondring ) answer'd , what zay Zur ? Marry I say Sir , I charge thee bring hither our Sturgeon ; What doe you meane , my Colt said hee ? Sirrah , sirrah , said the Major , doe not you offer to put your knavish Colts tricks upon me , for if you doe , I 'le lay you by the Heeles : Do'st thou thinke that I am such an Asse that I doe not know a Colt from a Sturgeon ? Yfaith quoth the fellow , you are a merry Gentleman , and with that hee led the Colt away . Then the Major commanded men to pursue him , and take away the Sturgeon : Well , the fellow ran , the Townsmen ran , the Colt slip'd his Halter , and was encompast round , and hunting him into the Towne , was met by men , women , and children , as a rare and admirable sight , and had like to have beene kill'd , and cut out into Jolles and Rands , and made up into Keggs in pickle , but that a knowing understanding Shooe-maker most luckily prevented it . In the meane time , the Gentleman that first found the Sturgeon , caused it to be taken up out of the Brooke , and carried Home unto his House and there it was drest as was fitting . The Major perceiving his errour , let the man have his Colt againe , with a full determination that at the common charge with the Towne-purse to trie an Action with the Gentleman for the Sturgeon . 20. A fresh Salmon . THe good , old , and truely right Honourable Charles Earle of Nottingham , Lord High Admirall of England , whose renowned memory shall never bee forgotten untill his bounteous Houskeeping bee generally imitated . He being at his House at Chelsey , and looking upon certaine Fishermen that were fishing in the Thames with their SalmonNet , his Lordship call'd to them , and said , My friends , if you take a Salmon , and bring him a shoare living , that I may see it move , and live , I will give you your price for it : The Fisherman answer'd , ( My good Lord ) I hope wee shall bee able to present your Honour with such a Fish as you desire ; so they drew their Net to Land , and caught a very faire Salmon . ( My Lord standing on the Land looking on them ) To whom the Fisherman said , my Lord , I have him , and you shall have him straite : So the poore man tooke off his leather-girdle , which had fastned to it a little Pouch , with ten pence in money in it , and as he had put the girdle through the gill of the Salmon to hold it the faster , the Fish being a strong lively fish , gave a suddaine flirt or spring out of the mans armes into the River againe with the girdle in the gill , and the Pouch with ten-pence ; which Salmon did shoote up the River the same Tide , from Chelsey to Hammersmith , and there it was taken by another Fisherman , and the Girdle with the pouch with it , which was restor'd to the right owner , and the Fisherman contentedly rewarded for the same by the bounteous Nobleman afore-named . 21. Sixe six penny Mutton-pyes to make up the Feast . MEthinks a Feast is not well set forth if there bee no Pies or bak'd meates , and instead of Deere , I pray Gentlemen take in good part such Venison as Smithpenns affoord . There was a Chyrurgian , or corruptly a Surgeon , whose name was well knowne to me , and many more by Land , but especially and truly by Walter , and by shortning it an L , by Water , or briefly , Wat ; ( the helpe of a Priest would declare the rest ) This Walters stomacke did water for a Six-penny Mutton-pye , at a Cookes named T. S. at Westminster , almost over against the 3. Tunnes Taverne , and having eaten one Pie , he lik'd the rellish so well , that hee call'd for five pies more of the same price , and valiantly consum'd them both crust and meate , outsides and linings : Which being done , he heard Westminster clock strike , and demanding of one of the Cookes servants what time of day it was ? who answer'd him , that the Clocke strooke Eleaven ; Oh ( quoth he ) I pray you bring me a reckoning quickly , or else I shall lose my Dinner at my Lord Maynards . 22. A Pudding-pye . AN old rich Tanner , with a beggerly minde , did use Hartfourd Market constantly every Weeke , for the time of 28. Yeeres , to buy and sell Hides ; in all which space hee never changed his Inne or Hosresse , nor altered his price for diet or expences , either for his Horse or himselfe ; whose Horse-meate was to be tied up to an empty Racke , for which one pennie paid for his standing , and another penny the Tanner spent upon himselfe in a Pinte of Beere , and a halfe-penny loafe ; so two pence in the Totall was his constant expences every Market-day for so long a time : till at last as hee passed alongst the Streete , he espied a Wench that sold hot Pudding-pies , and presently his chapps began to water , so that his quicke Eye and liquorish Tooth made him turne prodigall so farre as to waste a pennie upon himselfe for a Pudding-pie , which he put in his Handkerchiefe , and carried to his Inne , with a purpose to feast his carkasse . So being set alone in a Roome , hee call'd for a whole pot of Beere , which the Maide drew , and was carrying it to him : but meeting her Dame or Mistris by the way , shee asked her to whom that Beere was fill'd ? for the old Tanner said the Maide , whereat the Mistris call'd her forgetfull Baggage , that had forgotten his usuall Diet , to bee but a pinte of Beere , and a Halfe-pennie loafe : The Maide reply'd , that hee had bought a Pudding-pie , and would make that serve instead of Bread , and therefore hee would spend a whole pennie in Drinke . So it was carried to the Tanner , who sate ( repentingly ) looking upon his Pie ; the whilst the Hostesse went into another roome , where there were some merry fellows drinking , to whom shee told how the Tanner had altered his custome and diet , and that hee was in such a Roome alone with his Pot and his Pudding-pie before him : whereat one of the fellows start up , and swore , the old miserable Hound should have small joy of it ; so away went he to the Tanner , ( who as yet had neither touch'd Pie or Pot ) to whom hee said , by your leave Father , I am bold to looke into your Roome , for my selfe with some friends are basely us'd in this House , for they fill us such scurvy dead drinke , as a man would bee asham'd to wash his Boots with it : Now you being an old Guest of the House , I would taste if your Beere bee better , and with that hee tooke up the Pot , and dranke all off , set it on the Boord againe , saying , I thought ( old man ) that you were in favour with mine Hostesse , and I perceive it now by the goodnesse of the Liquor : Oh but said the Tanner , you have drunk up all , then call for more said the other ; but who shall pay ( quoth the Tanner ? ) hee that 's best able quoth the fellow ; Thou art a sawcy fellow ( said the Tanner ) and little better than a Cheater , to come into my roome and drinke up my drinke thus basely , and therefore tell me thy Name : The fellow told him , his Name was Gurley ; Gurley said the Tanner ? there was a Rascall of thy Name that stole a Mare from me three yeere agoe , that I could have hang'd him for it if I would : With that the fellow clap'd his hand on the boord , and said , Old man , that Gurley was my Cousin , and hee was the most desperate Fellow that England bred , and did care no more for stealing your Mare , than I doe at this time for eating your Pudding-pie , and with those words hee suddainly snach'd up the Old Tanners Pie , and greedily ( knavishly ) devoured it at two or three mouthfulls , leaving the miserable Tanner in a mad , hungry , and thirsty anger , without either Beere or Pudding-pie for his two-pence . So Gentlemen , much good may it doe you with your Pudding-pie : Now there remaines behind onely some light meate for the closure of the stomack , which I pray fall to , and welcome ; and that is a Foole , being made like a Custard , and when that is done , pray give eare to the Musick . 23. A Foole. TO furnish a Feast compleatly , there must be Tarts , Custards , Flawnes , Flap-jackes , and by al meanes a Foole or two : and at a Feast it so hapned , that a Counsellour at Law ( or of Law ) being at the table , amongst other dishes that stood before him , hee fell to feeding most heartily upon a Foole , and lovingly likeing it so well , demaunded of the Mistresse of the House , what good name that most excellent dish of meate had : shee answered him , that the name of it was a Foole. The Lawyer replied , hat hee had often tasted the goodnesse of a Terme Foole , but for a Table Foole hee never smatch'd one that pleas'd his pallate better , and therefore hee desired her to let him have a note of the ingredients that appertained to the making of such a composition , that his Wife might put it in her booke of Cookery . To which request of his , the Gentle-woman condescended : so after Supper was ended , the Counsellors man drew his pen and inke , and as the Gentle-woman directed him , hee wrot . Item , so much clouted Creame , so much Sugar , so much Rose-water , so many Egges , such and such Spices , with other Simples that are pertinent to Foole-making , which I am not perfit in : But after hee had written all , he knew that his Mistresse would insert it into her Booke , and therefore he thought it fit to give it a title or directions above it , to distinguish it from other receites , wherefore thus he intituled it : A receite to shew my Mistresse , how to make my Master a Foole. A Tale of a Foole. A Young Gentleman ( being a rich Heire ) came a woing to a proper Gentle-woman , whose sharpe wit quickly found him to be a Foole , by his playing the Coxcombe , and by his outward gesture ; and so shee gave him frumps for his folly , and flours for his foppery , parting as wisely as they met : which her mother perceiving , beganne to chide her , saying that shee was a squeamish proud Baggage to give no more contentfull respect to a Gentleman of his worth and rich hopes , and that she had best to be more tractable to him hereafter , for , ( quoth she ) your Father and I , and his parents are minded and agreed that hee shal be your Husband . Now , God blesse me , said the maide , for I cannot love him : why canst thou not love him ? ( quoth the mother , ) I know he is very rich : rich , said the maide ? I know hee is rich , ( But , — . ) But quoth the mother , what But : you idle slut , you would say he is But a Foole : you say true mother , said she , it is for that onely that I cannot affect him : the mother reply'd , that for his being a Foole , it was her wisest part to take him ; for it was better for her to be married to one that is a Foole already made to her Hand , then after marriage to take the paines to make him one : saying further , who loves theirwives better then Fooles ? who lets them Eate , Drinke , weare , say , or doe what they please , but Fooles ? I tell thee that I was foure yeares married to thy Father , and hee he curb'd me , and restrain'd me of my will so much , that hee almost broake my Heart , till at the last ( with a great deale of cost and counsell from my good neighbours and Cossips , ) and aboundance of care and paines taking , I made him a Foole , ( and so he happily continues : ) since which time , I have liv'd a Ladies life , full of content and pleasure : and therefore Huswife , no more a doe , but take my counsell , and marry a Foole , if you meane to live a merry and pleasant life . 24. Cheese . ONe brag'd and boasted that when he was married , that he had at the least two hundred Cookes to dresse his Wedding Dinner : Another answered him that hee believed him not , because he knew that he had not so much as a House to put his Head in , but lodged in a Garret , and therefore he could not have use or roome for so many Cookes : He replied , that as hee with his friends came from Church , they went to a drie Hedge , and set it on fire , ( every man having a piece of Cheese in his pocket , ) and dividing themselves , the one halfe halfe of them on one side of the Hedge , and the other halfe on the other , and so toasting their Cheese , being two hundred in number , they were all Cookes , and drest the Wedding dinner . 25. A Posset . THe Kings-Head Taverne in Fleet-streete , at Chancery-lane end , hath a long time bin a contenting well-custom'd House , and if the Travailes of some of the Drawers up and downe the staires could be measured , it may be reckoned a dayly journey of Forty miles a day in a Terme-time . About 30. Yeeres since there was a man that kept the said Taverne , whose Name was Gent , who was an honest fat man , ( as most fat men be ) who being in bed , about mid-night the Drawers and the Maids were up merry in the Kitchin , to have a little recreation after their long dayes toyle : for which purpose the Maides had made a great and a good Posset , which exceeding hot , and well sack'd , sugar'd , and spic'd , was put into a broad-brim'd pewter Bason : Mr. Gent being suddainly taken with an occasion to rise , ( for the keeping of his bed cleane ) put on his slippers , and as he was comming downe the staires , his servants hearing him , were in doubt they were discovered by their Master , whom to prevent , they put out the light , and one of them took the Bason with the hot Posset , and ( to hide it ) laid it upon the seat in the House of office , Master Gent suspecting no harme , went thither in the darke , and set himselfe in the Posset , which hee found so scalding , that hee cried out Helpe , helpe , the devil 's in the Privie : thus was the Servants deceiv'd , the Good-man scar'd and scalded , and the Posset most unluckily spoyl'd and defil'd . 26. Musicke . THree or foure Gentlemen being merry with drinke and discourse in a Taverne , a Musitian proffer'd them Musicke , which was deny'd ; within a little time after another ask'd the same question , Gentlemen , will you have any Muficke ? The Gentlemen began to bee angry , saying , they were Musick to themselves , and of themselves , and bad the Fidler get him gone ; but it was not long before the third Fidler opened their doore , and peep'd into the Roome , with the old note , Gentlemen , will you have any Musicke , a new Song , or a fine Lesson ? The Gentlemen perceiving that no deniall would satisfie their intruding importunacy , said , do'st thou heare fellow , how many are you ? Wee are foure said the Musitian ; Can you dance said the Gentlemen ? Yes sir said the other ; tha●'s well quoth the Gentlemen : so without any more bidding , the Musitians entred , and two of them plaid , and the other two danc'd foure or five Dances ; in conclusion the Gentlemen call'd for a Reckoning , and paid it ; but as they were going away , one of the Fidlers said , Gentlemen , I pray you to remember the Musick , you have given us nothing yet ; to whom one of the Gentlemen answer'd , nor will we give you any thing , for we never knew any Reason to the contrary , But alwayes those that dance must pay the Musicke . 27. One hundred of Faggots . GEntlemen , the aire is raw and cold , therefore 't is not amisse to have some Faggots , as well to warme you , as to dresse your meate ; and first how the Faggots were gotten . There dwelt a Water-man at Greenewitch , who for his meritorious and notorious Vertues , had justly purchas'd the Nicke-name of Bawdy-boy , by which name hee was generally knowne , and called , and will thereby bee many yeeres to come , had in remembrance . It happened that this Fellow ( working with Oares ) had a Gentleman at London in his Boate , whom hee carried to Gravesend ; it being in a Winter-night , and Eleaven of the Clocke at the time of their landing , the Moone shining in her full brightnesse , and so calme and still was the winde , that it would not move the smoake of a Chimney , or flame of a Candle . When Bawdy-boy had landed the Gentleman , and tooke his fare , ( which was sixe shillings ) hee told his fellow what hee had receiv'd , and withall the Tide being an houre flood , and no passengers left , hee thought it best to swim up emptie-boated with the streame from Gravesend to Greenewich , rather than to stay there , and spend their money ; and that hee doubted not , but to make some profitable purchase on the river before he gat home : In which resolve they put off their Boate , and after one houres Rowing , betweene Greene-hithe and Purfleete they overtooke an Hoy , or great Boate , loaden with as good Kentish faggots as Christendome could yeeld : the Hoy-man driving and whistling up in the calme streame , and the light Moone-shine , to whom Bawdy-boy call'd , and ask'd him if hee would sell him one Hundred of Faggots ? The Hoy-man answer'd , saying , they are not mine to sell , I am but hired to bring them to London for a Woodmonger that dwells there . My Friend ( quoth Bawdy-boy ) what though they are none of thine to sell , yet thou may'st let me have one Hundred of them , and make thy Master beleeve they were mis-told to thee ; or else thou may'st mis-tell one Hundred in the delivery of them ; 't is twenty to one they will never bee mist amongst so many . This gentle and grave counsell began to worke upon the tender conscience of the Faggot-man , insomuch that the bargaine was strooke , that for Five Shillings Bawdy-boy should have one Hundred of Faggots . In briefe , the Faggots were taken into the Wherrie , and the Faggot-seller expected Five shillings ; to whom Bawdy-boy said , ( Friend ) I doe see a Faggot with a crooked stick in it , which sticke will be to me of more worth than three Faggots , for a use that I would put it to : I pray thee let me have it , and I wil give thee one of my faggots backe againe for it ; the other reply'd , that he would doe him that kindnesse , though it were troublesome to him to remove a dozen or twenty Faggots that lay about it : So whilst the fellow was busie to get the crooked-stickefaggot , Bawdy-boy thrust himselfe off with his Boate and one Hundred of Faggots : At the last the Hoy-man came to the Hoyes side , and perceiving his Merchant to be gone , hee called to him , saying , Hoe friend , com● hither , here is the Faggot with the crooked sticke : To whom Bawdy-boy reply'd , saying , it is no matter , I have better bethought my selfe , I will make a shift without it : the other call'd againe , and said , thou hast nor paid me for my Faggots , I know it well quoth the other , nor will I pay thee any thing ; thou art a Theefe , and a notable Rogue , and I will pay thy Master , who is an honest Gentleman , and hee shall know what a Rogue you are , and so I leave you . Courteous Reader , I would intreate you to read this pleasant discourse of One hundred of Faggots , before that of Great and small Oysters , for so it should be placed . Thus Gentlemen , you have seene your Cheere , and you know you are welcome ; I am perswaded that you could not have had so good diet ( as is before related ) at any six-penny Ordinary , though it were in the North , where Victuals are cheapest : Heere hath beene variety without Ebriety , I promis'd you at first , that I would not take your stomacks from you , and that you should goe away as sober as you came , wherein I hope I have kept my word , and so you are welcome Gentlemen : Onely here is a Bill of Fare to satisfie your mindes , or to bee a President fo you , when you have occasion to make a Feast , and how to provide for every mans Palate . A Bill of Fare , invented by the choisest Pallats of our time , both for Worth and Wit , wherein are appointed such Rare and Admirable Dishes , as are not to bee had every where ; and may be expected dayly at the Five pound Ordinary : as it came to my hands I give it you freely ( Gentlemen ) with some Addition of Dishes of mine owne . FOure Phantasmaes , two boil'd and two roasted . One Dish of Cadulsets . A stew'd Torpedo . One Dish of Andovians . One Phoenix in white Broath . One fore-legge of a Greene Dragon bak'd . Foure Pellican Chickens . Two Dottrells broyl'd . A Dish of Elephants Pettitoes . A Rhinorsceros boyld in Allecant . A Calves Head roast with a Pudding in the belly . A sowst Owle . A Dish of Irish Harts Horne boil'd into Jelly , with a golden Horse-shooe dissolv'd in it . One Lobster fry'd in steaks . Nine Soales of a Goose. Three Ells of a Jackanapes taile . Two Cockatrices . Two dryed Sallamanders . One boild Ele-pie . A Dish of Quishquillions . A Dish of Modicums boild with Bonum . A Dish of Bounties with Sorrellsoppes . A Gull pickled . A Tantablin with an Onion . A Sallet of Goose-grease and Chickweed-fruite . A West-India Cheese . One Hundred of CoakerNuts . Fifty Pine-apples . Twelve Palmitaes . FINIS . 
A13503	----	[Taylors goose] [describing the wilde goose] Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1621 Approx. 46 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 15 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13503 STC 23799 ESTC S1018 23190095 ocm 23190095 26363 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13503) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 26363) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1782:22) [Taylors goose] [describing the wilde goose] Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [29] p. E.A. for H. Gosson, sold by E. Wright, [S.l. : 1621] In verse. T.p. lacking; title suggested by STC (2nd ed.). Running title: Taylors goose. Epistle dedicatorie signed: John Taylor. Signatures: A⁴(-A1) B-D⁴. Imprint suggested by STC (2nd ed.). Includes marginal notes. Reproduction of original in the Bodleian Library. Includes bibliographical references. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-08 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-09 Olivia Bottum Sampled and proofread 2002-09 Olivia Bottum Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion To the most mighty Monarch of Montzago , the modell of Magnanimity , the map of man-darring Monster-quellers , the thrice three times trebble triple renowned Alphebo , ornamented honorable Knight of Standsalio , Treldedo , Maroua , Fregero , Andalowsia , and the sky-scaling mountaine of Mulletto . Illustrious Pheander , victorious and valarous Champion to Don Phoebus , great Duke of Delphos , and the Oracle of Apollo ; Marquesse of Muzetta , and the lake Asse-Phaltites : Earle of Vtopia ; Lord and Dominator of the Promontory of Polipratemost : The vnconquer'd all-conquering Mayden Knight , by reuelation , by creation , by procreation , and contentation : the vnmatched Phoenix , and foure-fold commander of the Inchanted Islands , by nomination , by Banner , by warlike atchieuements , by natiuity , by descent and processe , matchlesse and vnparelleld Sir Thomas Parsons , Knight of the Sunne , great cousin Vermin to the seldome seene Queene of Fayries , and hopefull heire apparant to her inuisible Kingdome . VNmatchable Cheualiere , I am bolde to commit a poore Goose to your impregnable protection and patronage , I know there will be as much to doe in the keeping of her , and with as much danger , as was the conquest of the Golden Fleece , the Apples of the Hesperides , or the sauing of Andromeda by Perseus : & but that your valiant atchieuements are knowne and approued , I would neuer haue put my Goose to your inuincible Guard , the enemies that will assault you , or attempt to take her from you , are many , whom in duteous courtesie I will describe vnto you : First , the Powlters will assaile you with a terrible battry of rotten Eg-shot , to surrender the innocent Goose , that they may murder , embowell , pull , plucke , and prostitute her to the sale of who giues most . Secondly , the Vpholsters will come vpon you with a fresh Alarum for her feathers , to stuffe the empty paunches of their Bolsters , Pillowes , and hungry Bed-tikes . Thirdly , the Crokes in squadrons , arm'd with Dripping-pannes and Spits in stead of Speares , before they will loose their Fees , ( and the luking of their fingers to boote ) will fight hotly for the Goose till all smoke againe . Fourthly , the Apothecaries ( rather then they will want the sweetnesse of the pinguidity or fecundious fat of the Gooses auxungia ( vulgarly called greace ) they will so pelt you with pills in stead of pellets , that they will make all stinke againe . Fiftly , the Kitchin-mayde will throw scalding water at you , but shee will haue one of her wings to sweepe downe Cobwebs , and dispossesse Spiders of the habitations they haue built out of their owne bowels . Sixtly , the Fletchers , and Archers , sweare they will pinke your skinne sull of Ilot-holes , but they will haue her pynions to make them flye swifter dead then the Goose could liuing . Seauenthly , the Poets for her Quils will call another penny-lesse threed-bare Parliament , and ordaine Satiricall Statutes , and Tragicall Acts against you , and with their scattered imaginations they will scale the skyes as high as sullen Saturnes Altitude , and rake into the lowest profundity of Barrathrum , forraging through the earth , ayre and seas ; but they will stigmatize , cauterize , Epigramatize , and Annagramatize you , till you make a surrender . Eightly , the Lawyers will firke and firret you , tossing you betwixt hard fortune and ill lucke , that you will be almost mad , or be in great danger to haue very little wit left . Ninthly , the Scriueners , publike Notaries , or notorious Publicans , will not onely ioyne with the Lawyers and the Poets against you : but they will neuer procure you any money when you neede , without excessiue brokage , great eredit , or good security . Tenthly , Shop-keepers ( if you hold the Gooses Quils from them ) haue sworne that they will euer keepe you cut of their bookes . And lastly , Schoole-boyes will throw whole voleyes of stones at you , where euer they see you , if you alow them not Pennes , though it be but to scrible or make Iewes letters . Thus hauing laide open to your Herculean view , the labours and dangers that you are like to suffer in protecting the Goose , Now I thinke it fit ( vnder correction ) to closevp my Dedication with some dutifull counsell , that though your enemies are mighty and many , and that they doe preuaile against you , and with their multitude take from you both the flesh and feathers of the Goose , ( which indeede belongs not to you , nor doe I dedicate them to you ) yet here is your true honour , and that which makes all men admire you , that her better part , her genious , her intellectuall vnderstanding , her capacity ; and reuerend grauity , her wisedome , and her very spirit ; neither man , deuill or Dragon , is able to bereaue you of , as long as you haue a sword to defend it . I haue dedicated a Booke of a Begger at this time to Archy , but most noble Sir , onely to you my Goose , so leauing you . Not doubting of your acceptance , and protection : I wish you such encrease of honor as is suteable to your Heroick endeuours , and vnimitable wisedome . He that truly neither wonders or admires at your worthinesse , Iohn Taylor . TAYLORS GOOSE . VVHen restlesse Phoebus ▪ seem'd himselfe to rest His flaming Carre , descending to the West , And Hesperus obscur'd her twinkling light : Then in a sable mantle , ( Madame Night ) Tooke of the world the sole cōmand , & keepe Charming the eyes of Mortalls sound a sleepe : She sent dull Morpheus forth , and Somnus both , ( The Leaden Potentates of Sleepe and Sloth ) Who vnto euery one good Rest imparts Saue Louers , guilty mindes , and carefull harts . The stealing howers , creep'd on with sleeping pace , When masqued Midnight shew'd her Ebon face ; When Hagges and Furies , Witches , Fairies , Elues , Ghosts , Sprites and Goblins doe disport themselues : When fond imaginarie dreames doe raigne In formeleste formes , in mans molested braine : On such a time , I sleeping in my bed , An vnaccustom'd dreame came in my head , Me thought as neere vnto a Riuers side , Within a pleasant Groue I did abide , That all the feathered birds that swims or flies , Or liues betwixt the breeding earth and skies , One at the least of euery seuerall sort , Did for their recreation there resort . There was such strange variety of notes Such warbling , and such whistling from their throates : The Base , the Tenour , Trebble , and the Meane , All acting various Actions in one Sceane : The sober Goose ( not thinking ought amisse ) Amongst the rest did ( harshly ) keake and hisse : At which the Peacocke , and the pyde-coate Iay , Said , take the foolish gaggling Goose away . The Goose ( though angry ) with a modest looke , Seem'd as she gently this affront would brooke . When all the Fowles in generall out did breake , Commanding her she should not dare to speake . Away the melancholly Goose return'd , And in a banke of Reede she sate and mourn'd , Complaining 'gainst the hatefull multitude , And iustly taxing with Ingratitude The Race of all mortality ; and then Is none ( quoth she ) suruiuing amongst men , That will my true worth search and vnderstand , And in my quarrell take a Pen in hand , And in a stately high Heroick stile , My Predecessours noble Acts compile , From age to age descending vnto me , That my succeeding Issue all may see The admirable deedes that I haue done , And runne that worthy course that I haue runne . O impious age when there is no defence For Vertue and for hated Innocence : When Flatt'rers , Fooles , and Fidlers are rewarded , When I must liue vnpittied vnregarded . Me thought these last words ended with a keake Of such great force , as if her heart would breake ; At which I starting wakned from my dreame , And made the Gooses wrong , my Muses theame ; I'arose , put on my cloathes , sate downe , and than I tooke my Pen in hand , and thus began . ¶ From darke Obliuions den I here let loose Th' imprison'd honour of the famous Goose : In her creation and originall , And after in the law Leuiticall , And at all times before and since the Flood , A Goose hath iustly gain'd the name of good . To value her with any other Bird , Comparisons are weake and meere absurd : First for her flesh , she is mans dayly fare ; She 's good , she 's cheape , she 's plenty , and she 's rare : Bake her , or rost her , vse her as you will , And Cooke her as she should be , she 's good still : But as great summes are made with little driblets , So put the Hares head 'gainst the Gooses giblets ; And men may peice a dinner vp ( perhaps ) Which otherwise would rise with hungry chaps : For the olde Prouerbe , I must here apply , Good meate men may picke from a Gooses eye . She is good fresh , but better two dayes salted , For then she 'le try if Ale or Beere be Malted ; Her greace is excellent ( probatum est ) For such as numnesse in their ioynts molest : For the Sciatica , the Crampe , or Gowte It either cures or eases , out of doubt . Mix'd with Stauesacre , and Argentum viue , It will not leaue a man a Lowse aliue . Her lungs and lyuer into powder dride , And fasting in an Asses milke applide , Is an experienc'd Cordiall for the Spleene , As oftentimes it hath approued beene . Her braines , with Salt and Pepper , if you blend And eate , they will the vnderstanding mend . Her Gall , if one be but with drinke opprest , Or meate , or fruit , and cannot well disgest : But swallow 't downe , and take the 'tother Cup , And presently 't will fetch the rest all vp . And thus a Goose , for med'cine and for food , I haue Annatomiz'd exceeding good . As for her qualities , whil'st she doth liue , She doth example and instruction giue : Her modesty and affability Shewes she 's descended from Gentility , For if they be a hundred in a troope , To a Barne dore in courtesie thei 'le stoope . How neate and comely they themselues will pick , That no one feather out of order stick : How grauely they from place to place will waggle , And how ( like Gossips ) freely they will gaggle , That sure I thinke , the fashion of their prate , Our wiues at Gossippings doe imitate . In * Plinie and in Gesner I doe finde , That Geese are of strange sundry sorts and kinde . In Scotland there are Geese which grow on Trees , ( Which much from humane reason disagrees ) Bred by the Ayre and Sunnes all-quickning fire That ne're was Egge , not e're had Dam or Sire . Then there 's a Soleand Goose , which they so call , Because the female hath but one in all , Sole is as much to say , as be alone , And neuer Soleand Goose did hatch but one . Or else the name of them may well proceede From the Dams soote-sole , whence they all doe breede , Which in her Clawe she holdes vntill it hatch The Gander fetches food , the Goose doth watch . The Winchester Goose. THen there 's a Goose that breeds at Winchester , And of all Geese , my minde is least to her : For three or foure weekes after she is Rost , She keepes her heate more hotter then a tost . She 's seldome got or hatch'd with honesty , From Fornication and Adultery , From reaking Lust , foule Incest , beastly Rape , She hath her birth , her breeding , and her shape . Besides Whoremongers , Panders , Bawdes and Pimpes , Whores , Harlots , Curtezans , and such base Impes , Luxurious , leacherous Goates , that hunt in Flockes , To catch the Glangore , Grinkums , or the Pockes . Thus is she got with pleasure , bred with paine , And scarce ere comes where honest men remaine . This Goose is worst of all , yet is most deare , And may be had ( or heard of ) any where . A Pander is the Cater , to the Feast , A Bawde the Kitchin Clerke , to see her drest . A Whore the Cooke , that in a pockey heate , Can dresse a dish fit for the Deuill to eate . The hot whore-hunter for the Goose doth serue , The whilst the Surgeon , and Physitian carue . The Apothecary giues attendance still , For why the sauce lyes onely in his Bill . There hath a Turkey at Newmarket bin , Which to this Goose was somewhat neere a kin : And some report , that both these Fowles haue seene Their like ; that 's but a payre of sheeres betweene . And one of them ( to set them truely forth ) Costs more the dressing then they both are worth . This Goose is no way to be tollerated , But of good men to be dispisde and hated , For one of these , if it be let alone , Will eate the owner to the very bone , Moreouer , it from Nature is contrary , And from all other Creatures quite doth vary : For of all breeding thinges that I could heare , The Males doe still beget , and Females beare . But this hath euer a Dam masculine Engendred by a Father Feminine . Quite kim kam , wiw waw , differing from all other , The Sire 's a Female , and a Male the Mother . But cease my Muse soyle not thy purer straine , With such contagious mud , rowze rowze againe From this polluted puddle , and once more , Take the same Theame in hand thou hadst before . The Taylers Goose. BVt yet a little mirth doth make me stay : A Taylors Goose comes wadling in my way ▪ A thing I cannot giue the Epithite Of Male or Female , or Hermophrodite . Of Vulcans brood it is , whose Dam and Sire , Was windy bellowes , smoake , and flaming Fire . By Nature it should much delight to lye , For in a Forge it had Natiuity : Yet it with lying doth no hurt commit , Stealing is more adicted vnto it ; And yet to Steele it is so neare a kin , That to be true it doth opinion win . T is mettle to the hard backe , I am sure , And 't is a dish will ten mens liues endure . Be it of Age a hundred winters long , It is as tender as 't was when 't was young . A Cooke from it can get but slender fees , It hath no Giblets , like to other Geese . It neither breedes nor feedes , yet doth this good , It doth helpe others to get cloathes and food . And of all Geese shee 's tamest , shee 'l not roame , This Goose a man may alwayes haue at home ▪ 'T is dyet onely for an Estrich tooth , It cannot cog , yet very much doth smooth . It puts downe all the Fowles that ere man saw , T is often Rosted , yet 't is euer Raw , It is a bird that any Slut may dresse , It knowes no Warres , yet euery day doth Presse . And to conclude it is a messe of meate , Which who so can disgest it , let him eate . The praise of the Gray Goose wing . THe Winchester and Taylers Goose I see , Are both too heauy , and too hot for me : I will returne the honour to Emblaze , Of the Gray Goose that on the Greene doth graze . To speake of wandring Wild-geese in this place , Were ( like a Goose ) to runne the wildgoose Chase : The Egiptians did obserue their wonted guise , How in the Skie they flew triangle wise , Which with one Corner forward , is their drift , Thus figured to cut the Ayre more swift . For me the wilde-Goose is too high a game , My minde is onely to the Goose that 's tame , I in her Fleshes praise haue wrote before , But yet her Feathers doth deserue much more . They are of farre more estimate and price Then th'Estrich , or the bird of Paradice , The Rauen , the Crow , the Daw in mourning dight , The prating Pye attyr'd in blacke and white , The Buzzard , Redshanke , Kite , Owle , Gull and Rooke , The fabled Phenix that breedes where ( goe looke , ) The Pheasant , Partridge , Turtle , Plouer , Pidgeon , The Woodcock , Woodquist , Woodpecker , & Widgeon , The Iay , the Snipe , the Teale , the Cocke , the Hen , The Chogh , the Larke , the Lapwing , and the Wren , The Falkon , the Gerfaulkon , Hobby , Marlin , The Sparrowhauke , the Goshauke , Tassell , Starlin , The Haggard , Keistrell , Lanneret , Cormorant , The Caperkelly , and the Termagant , The Bunting , Heathcocke , Crane and Pellican , The Turkey , Mallard , Ducke , the Storke , the Swan , The Pewet , Parrot , and the Popingay , The Eagle , and the Cassawaraway , The Sheldrake , Bittour , Blackbird , Nightingale , The Cuckow that is alwaies in one tale , The Sparrow of the hedge , or of the house , The Ringdoue , Redbrest , and the Tittimouse , The Bulfinch , Goldfinch , Ringtaile , Wagtaile , and The Hearne that liues by water and by land : The Swallow , Martin , Lennet , and the Thrush , The Mauis that sings sweetly in the bush ; The Morecoote , the Kingfisher , and the Quaile ; The Peacock , with his proud vaine-glorious taile . These sorts of Birds that I haue nam'd before , If they thrice redoubled three times more . And let men value them but as they are , They cannot with the Goose ( for worth ) compare . Many of these doe feed on Carrion still , And still are Carrion , euer being ill , Neither in flesh or feathers they affoord To doe man seruice at his bed or boord . And some of them yeeld Plumes , and ornaments for Ladies , and for Knightly Tournaments : But let these toyes be weighed but iust and right , And thei 'le be found as vaine as they are light . Others there are , as Parrots , Stares , Pyes , Dawes , Are mightily accounted of , because They can speake perfect none-sence , prate and chatter , Feeding the eare : these fowles make fooles the farter . Then there are others great , and small in sise , But great all for the greatnesse of their price , Most pleasantly their flesh men doe deuoure , The sawce lyes in the reckoning , sharpe and sowre . Some are to sing continually in Cages , And get but bread and water for their wages . And others , with great paines men doe procure With cost of Manning , Diet , Hood , Bels , Lure ; The pleasure 's little , and the gaine is small , A Goose for profit doth surpasse them all . When with her flesh mans stomack she hath fed , She giues him ease and comfort in his bed : She yeelds no whim-whams wauering on his crest , But she relieues him with repose and rest . And though the world be hard , she layes him soft , She beares the burthen , and he lyes aloft : Let him be drunke , or weary , sicke , or lame , She 's semper idem , alwayes one the same . Thus to supply our wants , and serue our needes , Good meate and lodging from a Goose proceedes . Besides she loues not farre abroad to gad , But at all times she 's easie to be had ; As if ( to satisfie mans hungry gut , ) She wayted still that he her throat should cut . Men neede not be at charge for Hawkes and Dogs , And ride , and run o're hedge , ditch , mires , and bogs : She 's quickly caught , and drestwell , eates as pleasant As ( farre fetch'd deere bought ) Partridge or a Pheasant . Throughout the world the Trump of Fame loud rings , Temblaze the glory of the Gooses wings : The Romane Eagle ne're had spread so farre , But that the gray Goose was the Conquerer . Sesostris King of Egypt with her feather , Rain'd stormes and showres of Arrowes , like foule weather , And ouercame the Iewes , th'Affirians , Th'Arabians , Scithians , Germanes , Thracians . The Huns , the Gothes , the Vandals , and the Galls , With Arrowes made great Rome their seuerall thralls : The Philistines were mighty Bow-men all , With which they got the conquest of King Saull . Cyrus with thousands of his Persians With Shafts were slaine by the Messagetans , Turkes , Tartars , Troyans , and the Parthians , Danes , Saxons , Sweuians , and Pollonians ; Yea , all the Nations the whole world around , The gray-Goose-wing hath honour'd and renound . But why should I roame farre and wide aloofe , When our owne Kingdome yeelds sufficient proofe , But search the Chronicles , it is most plaine , That the Goose wing braue Conquests did obtaine . Remember valiant Edwards name ( the third ) How with the wing of this deseruing Bird , When to small purpose seru'd his Shield or Lance : At Cressie hee ore-top'd the powre of France . And after that , remember but agen That Thunder-bolt of warre , that Mars of men , The black Prince Edward , his victorious sonne , How he at Poyctures a braue battaile wonne , Where the French King and many Pieres were tane , Their Nobles , and their Gentles most part slaine , And thirty thousand of their Commons more ▪ Lay in the field all weltring in their gore . Henry the fift ( that memorable King ) All France did vnto his subiection bring , When forty thousand of the French men lay At Agincourt , slaine in that bloody fray . And though true valour did that conquest win , But for the Gooses wing it had not bin . In these things , and much more then I can say , The Gooses feather bore the prize away . If I should write all in particular , What this rare feather hath atchieu'd in war , Into a sea of matter I should runne , And so begin a worke will ne're be done . And thus from time to time it hath appear'd , How the gray Goose hath brauely domineer'd : With swiftly cutting through the empty skie , Triumphantly transporting victorie From land to land , offending and defending The Conquest on the Arrowes still depending . Our English Yeomen , in the dayes of old , Their names and fames haue worthily extold , Witnesse that Leash , that stout admired three , Braue Adam Bell , Clim Clough , Will Clowdeslee . I could capitulate , and write vpon Our English Robin Hood , and little Iohn , How with this feather they haue wone renowne , That euermore their memories shall crowne . And e're the Deuill these damned Gunnes deuis'd , Or hellish powder here was exercis'd , With the Goose wing we did more honour get , More nobly gain'd , then Gunnes could euer get . And how hath Vice our worthy land infected , Since Archery hath beene too much neglected ? The time that men in shooting spent before , Is now ( perhaps ) peruerted to a Whore , Or bowling , swearing , drinke , or damned Dice , Is now most Gentleman-like exercise . But for these few that in those dayes remaine , Who are adicted to this shooting veine : Let men but note their worthy disposition , And we shall see they are of best condition , Free honest spirits , such as men may trust , In all their actions , constant , true and iust . It is a thing I haue obserued long , An Archers minde is cleare from doing * wrong : It is a note worthy respect , and marke , An Archer is no base defamed Sharke , Not giuen to pride , to couetousnesse , or To swearing , which all good men doe abhorre , Nor doth he exercise , or take delight , To cheate , to cogge , to lye , and to backbite , But with most louing friendly conuersation , He practiseth this manly recreation . There was a Statute in th' eight Henries raigne , Which Statute yet doth in full force remaine , And as it stands in force , so doth my Muse Wish that it were obseru'd , and kept in vse . Within these few yeares ( I to minde doe call ) The Yeomen of the Guard were Archers all , A hundred at a time I oft haue seene , With Bowes and Arrowes ride before the Queene , Their Bowes in hand , their Quiuers on their shoulders , Was a most stately shew to the beholders : And herein , if men rightly doe obserue , The Arrowes did for two good vses serue : First , for a shew of great magnificence , And trusty weapons for to guard their Prince . Prince Charles ( our hope of Britaines happinesse ) Doth his affection oftentimes expresse : With many Noble men of worthy race , Doe with their best performance , shooting grace : And long may these superiour Worthies liue , Example to th' inferiour sort to giue , That though this exercise be much declin'd , May some supporters and defenders finde . King Sauls braue sonne ( true hearted Ionathan ) Dauids true friend , a Prince , a valiant man , Did in this noble quality excell ▪ As the true story of his life doth tell . King Dauid made a Law , and did command , That shooting should be taught within this land . Thus from true Histories we plainely see , That shooting is of great antiquity : And that the glory of the Gooses wings Hath beene aduanc'd by Princes , Lords and Kings , And that yet Princes , Pieres and Potentates , And best of all conditions and estates , Doe giue to Archery the praise and prise Of the best , manly , honest exercise . The praise of the Gooses Quill . ANd thus for Shooters hauing shew'd my skill , I 'le now say somewhat for the Gooses Quill . Great Mars his Trayne of Millitary men I leaue , and turne the Shaft into a Pen : The Gooses feathers acteth sundry parts , And is an Instrument both of Armes and Arts. Many diuine and heauenly mysteries , And many memorable Histories Had with blinde Ignorance beene ouer-growne , And ( were 't not for the Pen ) had ne're beene knowne . The Muses might in Pernass hill haue staide , Their fames had ne're been through the world displaide , But that the Gooses Quill with full consent , Was found to be the fittest Instrument To be their Nuntius , and to disperse Their glory through the spacious Vniuerse . Grammar ( that of all Science is the ground ) Without it , in forgetfulnesse were drownd , And Rethorick ( the sweet rule of eloquence ) Through the Goose Quill distils it's Quintessence : Logick with difinitions ( I am sure ) Were nothing , or else very much obscure : Astronomie would lye , or lye forgot And scarce remembred , or regarded not ; Arithmetick would erre exceedingly , Forgetting to deuide and multiply : Geometry would lose the Altitude , The crassie Longitude and Latitude : And Musick in poore case would be o're-throwne , But that the Goose Quill pricks the Lessons downe . Thus all the liberall Sciences are still In generall beholding to the Quill . Embassages to farre remoted Princes , Bonds , Obligations , Bills and Euidences , Letters 'twixt foe and foe , or friend and friend , To gratulate , instruct , or reprehend , Assurances , where faith and troath is scant , To make the faithlesse to keepe couenant ; The Potent weapon of the reuerend Law , That can giue life or death , saue , hang or draw , That with a royall , or a noble dash , Can from the Kings Exchequer fetch the Cash . To most Shop-keepers it a reckoning makes , What 's got or lost , what he layes out , or takes : Without the Goose a Scriuener were a foole , Her Quill is all his onely working toole : And sure a Goose is of a wondrous nature , Contrary to each other liuing creature , Things that in water , earth , or ayre , hath growth , And feede and liue , bite onely with the mouth : But the Goose with sophisticated skill , Doth bite most dangerously with her quill , Yet is she free from prodigality , And most of all bites partiality : She oft with biting makes a Knight a detter , And rankle to a begger , little better . She oft hath bit a Gallant from his land With quick conueyance , and by slight of hand Sometimes her biting is as durable As is a Gangren , most incureable , And many that into her fangs doe fall , Doe take the Counters for their Hospitall ; A Forger , or a Villaine that forsweares , Or a false Witnesse , she bites off their eares : On me her power she many times hath showne , And made me pay more debts then were mine owne . Thus doth her Quill bite more then doth her chaps , To teach fooles to beware of after-claps . They say in Latine that a Gooses name Is ANSER , which made in an Annagram , Is SNARE , in English , which doth plaine declare , That she to fooles and knaues will be a snare . Indeede she oft hath beene a snare to mee , My selfe was in the fault , alas not shee . The memorable honour of the Goose for sauing the Capitall at Rome . BVt now to shew her neuer dying name , And how at Rome she wan deseruing fame : When barbarous Brennus , cruell King of Galls , Had wasted Italy , and raz'd Romes walls : When deuastation did depopulate , With sword and furious fire the Romane state . When many a throat was tyrannously cut , And all the Citie to the sack was put : When many of the Citizens did flye Into the Capitall to liue and dye , Whereas the Image of great Iupiter , ( The rip rap , thwick thwack thumping thunderer ) Was of refined gold , adorn'd , ador'd , Where helplesse fooles , poore helplesse helpe implor'd . The Capitall a goodly building was , And did ( for strength ) by Art and Nature passe , So that the people that were there within , Thought it impregnable , that none could win : But slender watch vpon the walls they kept , And ( thinking all secure ) secure they slept , They thought Ioues Statue , and his Temple there , Was a sure guard , that foes they need not feare : But Ioue these dangers did not vnderstand , Or else he had some other worke in hand : Perhaps poore Io like a Cowe in shape , He like a Bull then wrong'd with beastly rape , Or like a Swan for Leada , he thought fit , In that fowles forme , that foule fault to commit : Perchance that time faire Danae to intrap , He rain'd bewitching gold into her lap ; He then ( perhaps ) did to Alcmena goe , And made a Cuckold of Amphitrio , Or else to Semele that time he came , And burnt his burning loue with lightnings flame , Perhaps with Hele he the Ram did play , Or with Europa toy'd the time away , Mnemosine he could not let alone , Or he to Hebe at that time was gone , It may be to Antiopa he went , Or to Astery , for his more content : Or it may be he lay within his bed , And play'd , and fool'd with wanton Ganimede : But whither Iupiter that time was got , He to defend the Capitoll was not , Vnlesse he were transformed wondrous strange , And to a Gooses shape his Godhead change : For all the Guard were sleeping at that time , When as the armed Galls the walls did clime . Then when the Watch did to destruction sleepe , The carefull Goose true sentinell did keepe , She spide the foe , and keak'd out an Alarme , At which the Sleepers wak'd , and cri'd , Arme Arme : Then they their Enemies in fury slew , Which downe the battlements in heapes they threw . And thus a Goose the honour did obtaine , To saue the Romanes , which had else beene slaine : And to preserue the famous Capitall , And set Rome free from the insulting Gall. The Romane Generall that time , as then Was manly Manlius , a stout man of men . The Senate gratefully did raise anon , An Altar with a golden Goose thereon , And for the Gooses seruice had beene such , They alowd almes-Oates from the common Hutch , For olde and sicke decayed Geese to feede , In memory of that braue Gooses deede . Why should the Eagle be the Bird of Ioue , When as the Goose deserueth so much loue ? 'T is plaine and euident the Goose was cause , That all Rome scap't from speedy Martiall lawes . Yet did the Romans ( like ingratefull Nags ) Aduance an Eagles portait in their Flags , When as Cornelius Agrippa sayes , The Goose deseru'd it more by many wayes . Now hauing done the Capitoll Goose right , I le try some other wayes to breed delight . Goostoft in Lincolnshire . IN Lincolnshire an ancient Towne doth stand , Call'd Goostoft , that hath neither fallow'd Land , Or Woods , or any fertile pasture Ground , But is with watry Fens incompast round . The people there haue neither Horse or Cowe , Nor Sheepe , nor Oxe , or Asse , nor Pig , or Sowe : Nor Creame , Curds , Whig , Whay , Buttermilke or Cheese , Nor any other liuing thing but Geese . The Parson of the Parish takes great paines , And tyth Geese onely , are his labours gaines : If any Charges there must be defray'd , Or Impositions on the Towne is layd , As Subsidies , or Fifteenes for the King , Or to mend Bridges , Churches any thing . Then those that haue of Geese the greatest store , Must to these Taxes pay so much the more . Nor can a man bee raisde to Dignity , But as his Geese encrease and multiply . And as mens Geese wax more and more , and breed , From Office vnto office they proceed . A man that hath but with twelue Geese began , In time hath come to be a Tythingman : And with great Credit past that Office thorough ( His Geese increasing ) hee hath bin Headborough . Then ( as his Flocke in number are accounted ) Vnto a Constable , he hath bin mounted . And so from place to place he doth aspire , And as his Geese grow more hee 's raised higher . T is onely Geese there that doe men prefer , And 't is a Rule , no Goose , no Officer . At Hunnibourne , a Towne in Warwickshire , What Gogmagog Gargantua Geese are there , For take a Goose that from that place hath bin , That 's leane , and nough but feathers , bones and skin , And bring her thither , and with little cost Shee 'l bee as fat as any Bawde , almost . For take foure Geese , and with a like expence , Feed one there , and the others two miles thence , And shee that feedes at Hunnibourne shall bee More worth in weight and price , then th' other three . She shall with Flesh vnable be to goe , I cannot yeeld the Reason , but 't is so * . Goose Faire at Stratford Bowe , the Thursday after Whitsontide . AT Bowe the Thursday after Penticost , There is a Faire of Greene Geese , ready Rost , Whereas a Goose is very dogcheape there , The Sauce is onely somewhat sharpe and deare , There ( e're they scarce haue feathers on their backe ) By hundreds and by heapes they goe to wracke , There is such Baking , rosting , broyling , boyling , Such swearing , drabbing , dancing , dicing toyling , Such shifting , sharking , Cheating , smoaking , stinking , Such Gormondizing , Cramming , Guzling , Drinking : As if the world did runne on wheeles away , Or all the Deuils in hell kept Holiday . And as Hearbes , Flowers and Weedes together grow , So people are that day at Stratford Bowe . There sits a Cheater with a simple Gull , And there an Honest woman , there a Trull , Yonder a Fidler dawb'd with greace and Ale , And there an Asse telling an Idle tale . There 's one a Rosting , yonder 's one a Stewing , And yon 's one drinkes vntill he fall a spewing : There 's a kinde Cuckold with his Wife doth wander , To exercise the office of a Pander , His Pimship with his Punke despight the horne , Eate Gosling giblets in a fort of Corne. There is ran tan Tom Tinker and his Tib , And there 's a Iugler with his fingers glib . There throngs a Cutpurse , with his working toole And there 's a gallant Coxcombe , there 's a Foole. There 's foure or fiue together by the eares , And tumble in the Dirt like Dogs and Beares . One staggering there hath got the Drunken yox , And there 's one swaggering's fast within the Stocks . Thus with these Galleymaufry humours still , These Linsey wolsey posteres , Good and Ill , These mingle mangle , motly toyes they spend The time , till night doth make them homeward wend. Then they returne as wise as Geese away , For whom so many Geese were slaine that day . They brought both wit and money with them thither , But with the Geese 't is all deuour'd together . And if they were but taught as well as fed , More Coyne were sau'd , and man a wiser head . Thus ( as my Muse is able ) I haue told How that a Gooses vse is manifold . How many seuerall sortes of Geese there are , Some wilde , some tame , some to neare , some to farre ▪ How from her Flesh and entrailes , it is plaine , Good food and Physicke dayly we obtaine : How freely she doth play the true vpholster , And fill with Feathers , pillowes , bed and bolster . And how in many an honorable War , The Gray Goose wing hath bin the vanquisher . The necessary vses of her Quill , How to the good 't is good , Ill to the ill . And Shooting heere ( according to my loue ) To bee a noble Exercise I proue . And how the Goose Romes Capitoll did faue , ( As sayes the Story ) I described haue . And now let men examine well and try If any Bird in water , earth or Sky , Or all in generall together are , With the good Goose ( forworth ) to make Compare . Many absurdly , Idle , foolish , base , Will call a man a Goose in foule disgrace : When if men rightly vnderstood the same , A man is honour'd with a Gooses name . For though the Eagle be of Birdes the King , Yet 't is a Rauenous , greedy hurtfull thing . And he that with that tytle me should call , I had as leiue he call'd me Theefe withall . Shee while she liues doth yeeld reliefe to many , And aliue or dead , beholding not to any . She hath maintain'd ten thousand men , With food , and Physicke , Lodging , Shafts and Pen , And lastly ( not to charge them any wayes ) Her owne Quill heere , writes her owne worthy praise . Because a Goose is Common , and not Deere , She amongst fooles is small esteemed heere . So Blackberryes , that grow on euery bryer , Because th' are plenty few men doe desire : Spanish Potatoes are accounted dainty , And English Persneps are course meate though plenty . But if those Berryes or those Rootes were scant , They would be thought as rare , through little want , That we should eate them , and a price allow As much as Strawberryes , and Potatoes now . Why Bread is common , hauing still our fill We thinke not on , because we haue it still : But if we want Bread then we doe remember , We want the Groundworke of our belly timber . The Light is common , which few thinke vpon , Till Night doth put her blindfold mufler on , And all attyr'd in mourning blacke as pitch , Then men misselight , and tumble in the Ditch . So should we want a Gooses Flesh and Feather , The quantity of fiue yeares but together : We then should all confesse with one consent , How that a Goose were superexcellent . Many good blessings we too much forget , Cause they are neere and Cheape , not farre to fet . Me thinkes I heare some Cuckow , or some Iay , Some Daw , some Pye , some Gull , or Buzzard say , That I haue giuen the Goose her worthy stile , But haue forgot the Gander all this while . I le giue them Answer ( though they merit none ) I doe Include both sexes vnder one , T is knowue to euery perfit vnderstander , A Goose is much superiour to a Gander . For though a man , a Mare or Gelding stride , VVe briefly say , he doth on Horsebacke ride : And though a Gelding be the beast that bare VVe call 't a Horse , that 's neither Horse or Mare . So Ganders vnder name of Geese doe goe , The Gooses worthynes deserues it so . Once I remember , Riding on my way In Barkshire , neere vnto a Towne call'd Bray , I on my Iourney as I past along , Rode by a Goose , a Gander , and their young . ( I neither minding them nor yet their Crew ) The Gander in my face with fury flew , Who in his fierce encounter was more hot , Then if he had bin Spanish Don Quixot . But sure himselfe so brauely he did beare , Because his Loue and Lady Goose was there : And 't was a spur his Chiualry vnto , To haue his sweet heart see what he did doe , My Horse he started , to the ground I went , Dismounted in that ( Ganderous ) tournament . I should say Dangerous , but sure I am That GANDEROVS is a DANGEROVS Anagram . The Gander was mine enemy , what tho , I le honour worthy Valour in my foe . He Tilted brauely , and in Liewe of it The Gooses Quill , the Ganders praise hath writ . Thus for the Goose I hauing done my best , My toyled Muse retires vnto her Rest : I le shut my Inckhorne , and put vp my Pen , So take my Goose amongst you Gentlemen . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13503-e320 A good Goose. * Bookes which I neuer read . These Soland Geese doe breede in a litle Iland in Scotland 2. mile within the Sea , called the Basse , betweene 25. & 30. miles beyond Barwick , where they are in such abundance that the Lord ( or owner ) of the Ilād doth yearly receiue for these Geese 200. li. sterling . Notes for div A13503-e2620 Something in praise of the exercise of shooting . * For the most part this is generall . K. Henry 8. did with the consent of the 3. estates in the Parliament , enact a Statute , for shooting : which Statute is stil of force , though not in vse . Q. Elizabeth . The Highland men or Redshanks in Scotland , are exceeding good Archers . 2. Sam 1. 18. Notes for div A13503-e5050 A shrewd biting beast Hereupon began the Prouerb , of good Goose bite not . Notes for div A13503-e5860 Iupiter either could not or wold not help to defend the Capitall , or or else like many braue whoremaisters , hee had more mind of his leacherie then his honour : so that had it not bin for the Goose , his golden Image had bin taken prisoner by the enemy . Cornelius Agrippa , in his vanity of Sciences . pag. 137. Cap. 81. Notes for div A13503-e6960 * A womans Reason ▪ Notes for div A13503-e7460 The Description of Greene-goose Faire Food , Physicke , Lodging , Artes , Armes , and good Society , all from a Goose. 
A13508	----	Taylor his trauels: from the citty of London in England, to the citty of Prague in Bohemia The manner of his abode there three weekes, his obseruations there, and his returne from thence: how he past 600 miles downe the riuer of Elue, through Bohemia, Saxony, Anhalt, the bishoprick of Madeberge, Brandenberge, Hamburgh, and so to England. With many relations worthy of note. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1620 Approx. 49 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 17 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13508 STC 23802 ESTC S118294 99853501 99853501 18885 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13508) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18885) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:25) Taylor his trauels: from the citty of London in England, to the citty of Prague in Bohemia The manner of his abode there three weekes, his obseruations there, and his returne from thence: how he past 600 miles downe the riuer of Elue, through Bohemia, Saxony, Anhalt, the bishoprick of Madeberge, Brandenberge, Hamburgh, and so to England. With many relations worthy of note. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [32] p. Printed by Nicholas Okes, for Henry Gosson, and are to bee sold by Edward Wright, London : 1620. Partly in verse. Signatures: A-D⁴. Running title reads: Taylors trauells to Bohemia. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. 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Bohemia (Czech Republic) -- Description and travel -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-07 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Taylor his Trauels : From the Citty of London in England , to the Citty of Prague in Bohemia . The manner of his abode there three weekes , his obseruations there , and his returne from thence : How he past 600 miles downe the riuer of Elue , through Bohemia , Saxony , Anhalt , the Bishoprick of Madeberge , Brandenberge , Hamburgh , and so to England . With many relations worthy of note . By Iohn Taylor . LONDON Printed by Nicholas Okes , for Henry Gosson , and are to bee sold by Edward Wright . 1620. The Right Hon. ble Algernon Capell , Earl of Essex , Viscount Maldon , & Baron Capell of Hadham . 1701 Reader take this in your way . A Pamphlet ( Reader , ) from the presse is hurld , That hath not many fellowes in the world : The maner's cōmon , though the matter 's shallow , And 't is all true , which makes it want a fellow . And because I would not haue you either guld of your mony , or deceiued in expectation , I pray you take notice of my plaine dealing ; for I haue not giuen my booke aswelling bumbasted title , of a promising inside of newes ; therefore if you looke for any such matter from hence , take this warning , hold fast your mony , and lay the booke downe : yet if you do buy it ( I dare presume ) you shall find somewhat in it worth part of your mony ; the troth is that I did chiefely write it , because I am of much acquaintance , and cannot passe the streets , but I am continually stayed by one or other , to know what newes , so that sometimes I am foure houres before I can go the length of too paire of butts , where such non-sence or sencelesse questions are propounded to me , that calles many seeming wise mens wisedoms in question , drawing aside the curtaines of their vnderstandiug , and laying their ignorance wide open . First Iohn Easie takes me , and holds mee fast by the fist halfe an houre , and will needes torture some newes out of me from Spinola , whom I was neuer neere by 500 miles ; for hee is in the Pallatinate country , and I was in Bohemia . I am no sooner eased of him , but Gregory Gandergoose , an Alderman of Gotham catches me by the goll , demaunding if Bohemia bee a great towne , and whether there be any meare in it , and whether the last fleet of shipps be ariued there : his mouth being stop'd , a third examines mee boldly , what newes from Vienna , where the Emperours army is , what the Duke of Bauaria doth , what is become of Count Buquoy , how fares all the Englishmen ; Where lies the King of Bohemiaes forces , what Bethlem Gabor doth , what tydings of Dampeier , and such a tempest of inquisition , that it almost shakes my patience in pieces . To ease my selfe of all which , I was inforced to set pen to paper , & let this poore pamphlet ( my harrald or nuntius ) trauell & talke , whilst I take my ease with silence . Thus much I dare affirme , that whosoeuer hee or they bee , that do scatter any scandalous speeches against the plenty in Bohemia of all manner of needfull things for the sustenance of man and beasts , ( of the which there is more aboundance then euer I saw in any place else ) or whatsoeuer they bee that report any ill successe on the Kings party , this little booke , and I the Author doth proclaime and proue them false lyers , and they are to be suspected , for coyning such falshoods , as no well-willers to the Bohemian prosperity . One thing I must entreate the Readers patience in reading one hundred lines ; wherein , I haue kept a filthy stirre about a beastly fellow , who was ( at my going from England , a piece of a Graues-end Constable ) at which time hee did mee such wrong , as might haue drawne my life in question ; for hee falsly sayd that I would haue fired their Towne . I did promise him a ierke or two of my penne at my returne ; which now I haue performed , ( not out of any mallice , but because I would bee as good as my word with him . ) Thus crauing you to reade if you like , and like as you list . I leaue you a booke much like a pratling Gossip , full of many words to small purpose . Yours , as you are mine . Iohn Taylor . TAYLORS TRAVELS , FROM THE CITTY of London in England , to the Citty of Prague in Bohemia . I Come from Bohem , yet no newes I bring , Of busines 'twixt the Keysar and the king : My Muse dares not ascend the lofty staires Of state , or write of Princes great affaires . And as for newes of battells , or of War , Were England from Bohemia thrice as far : Yet we do know ( or seeme to know ) more heere Then was , is , or will euer be knowne there . At Ordinaries , and at Barbers shopps , There tydings vented are , as thick as hopps , How many thousands such a day were slaine , What men of note were in the battell ta'ne , When , where , and how the bloody fight begun , And how such sconces , and such townes were won ; How so and so the armies brauely met , And which side glorious victory did get : The month , the weeke , the day , the very houre , And time , they did oppose each others powre , These things in England prating fooles do chatter , When all Bohemia knowes of no such matter . For all this summer , that is gone and past , Vntill the first day of October last , The armies neuer did together meete , Nor scarce their eie sight did each other greet : The fault is neither in the foote or horse , Of the right valiant braue Bohemian force , From place to place they daily seeke the foe , They march , and remarch , watch , ward , ride , run , goe , And grieuing so to waste the time away , Thirst for the hazard of a glorious day . But still the enemy doth play bopeepe , And thinkes it best in a whole skin to sleepe , For neither martiall pollicy , or might , Or any meanes can draw the foe to fight : And now and then they conquer , spoile and pillage , Some few thatcht houses , or some pelting village ; And to their trenches run away againe , Where they like foxes in their holes remaine , Thinking by lingring out the warres in length , To weaken and decay the Beamish strength . This is the newes , which now I meane to booke , He that will needes haue more , must needes go looke . Thus leauing warres , and matters of high state , To those that dare , and knowes how to relate , I 'le onely write how I past heere and there , And what I haue obserued euery where , I 'le truely write what I haue heard and eyed , And those that will not so be satisfied , I ( as I meete them ) will some tales deuise , And fill their cares ( by word of mouth ) with lies : THe month that beares a mighty Emp'rours name , ( Augustus hight ) I passed downe the streame , Friday the fourth , Iust sixteene hundred twenty Full moone , the signe in Piscis , that time went I ; The next day being saturday , a day , Which all greate Brittaine well remember may , When all with thankes do annually combine , Vnto th' Almighty maiesty diuine , Because that day , in a most happy season , Our Soueragne was preseru'd from Gouries treason ; Therefore to Churches people do repaire , And offer sacrifice of praise and praire , With bells and bonfires , euery towne addressing , And to our gracious King their loues expressing , On that day , when in euery nooke and angle , Fag gots and bauins smoak'd , and bells did iangle : Onely at Graues-end , ( why I cannot tell , ) There was no sparke of fire , or sound of bell , Their steeple , ( like an instrument vnstrung , ) Seem'd ( as I wish all scolds ) without a tong , Their bonfires colder then the greatest frost , Or chiller then their charities ( almost ) Which I perceiuing , sayd I much did muse , That Graues-end did forget the thankfull vse , Which all the townes in England did obserue ; And cause I did the King of Brittaine serue , I and my fellow , for our Maisters sake , Would ( neere the waters side ) a bonfire make ; With that a Scotch man , Tompson by his name , Bestowed foure faggots to increase the flame , At which ( to kindle all ) a Graues-end Baker , Bestowed his bauine , and was our partaker : We 18 foote from any house retir'd , Where we a iury of good faggots fir'd ; But ere the flame , or scarce the smoake began , There came the fearefull shaddow of a man , The Ghost or Image of a Constable , Whose frantick actions ( downeright dunce-stable , ) Arm'd out of France and Spaine , with Bacchus bounty : ( Of which ther 's plenty in the Kentish county , ) His adle coxcomb with tobaco puff'd` His guts with ale full bumbasted and stuff'd , And though halfe blind , yet in a looking glasse , He could perceiue the figure of an asse ; And as his slauering chapps non-sense did stutter , His breath ( like to a iakes ) a sent did vtter , His leggs indenting scarcely could beare vp , His drunken trunk ( o're charg'd with many a cup. ) This riff raff rubbish , that could scarcely stand , ( Hauing a staffe of office in his hand , ) Came to vs as our fire began to smother , Throwing some faggots one way , some another , And in the Kings name did first breake the peace , Commanding that our bonfire should succease . The Sotchman angry at this rudnes done , The scattered faggots , he againe layd on : Which made the demy Constable go to him , And punch him on the brest , and outrage do him ; At which a cuffe or twaine were giuen , or lent , About the eares , ( which neither did content . ) But then to heare how fearefull the asse braid , With what a hideous noyse he houl'd for aid , That all the ale in Graues-end , in one houre , Turn'd either good , bad , strong , small , sweete , or soure : And then a kennell of incarnate currs , Hang'd one poore Thomson , like so many burrs ; Haling him vp the dirty streetes , all foule , ( Like diuells pulling a condemned soule . ) The Iaylor ( like the grand deu'll ) gladly sees , And with an itching hope of fines and fees , Thinking the Constable , and his sweete selfe , Might drinke and quaffe with that ill gotten pelfe ; For why such hounds as these , may if they will , Vnder the shew of good , turne good to ill ; And with authority the peace first breake , VVith Lordly domineering or'e the weake , Committing ( oft ) they care not whom or why , So they may exercise themselues thereby , And with the iaylor share both fee and fine , Drowning their damned gaine in smoake and wine : Thus hirelings Constables , and iaylors may , Abuse the kings leige people night and day , I say they may , I say not they do so , And they know best if they do so or no. They hal'd poore Thomson all along the streete , Tearing him that the ground scarce touch'd his feete , Which he perceiuing , did request them cease Their rudenes , vowing he would go in peace , He would with quietnesse go where they would , And prayed them from his throate to loose their hold . Some of the townesmen did entreat them there , That they their barbarous basenes would forbeare , But all entreaty was like oyle to fire , Not quenc'd ; but more enflam'd the scuruy squire . Then they afresh began to hale and teare , ( Like mungrell mastifes , on a little Beare , ) Leauing kind Tompsom neither foote or fist , Nor any limb or member to resist , Who being thus opprest with ods and might , Most valiant with his teeth , began to bite , Some by the fingers , others by the thumbs , He fang'd within the circuit of his gummes ; Great pitty'twas his chapps did neuer close , On the halfe Constables , cheekes , eares , or nose ; His seruice had deseru'd reward to haue , If he had mark'd the peasant for a knaue : Yet all that labour had away bin throwne , Through towne and country he 's already knowne ; His prisoner , he did beate , and spurn'd and kick'd , He search'd his pockets ( I 'le not say he pick'd ) And finding ( as he sayd ) no mony there , To heare how then the bellwether did sweare , And almost tearing Tompson into quarters , Bound both his hands behind him with his garters , And after in their rude robustious rage , Tide both his feete , and cast him in the cage , There all night he remained in lowsie litter , Which for the Constable had bin much fitter , Or for some vagabond ( that 's sprung from Caine , ) Some rogue or runagate , should there haue laine , And not a Gentleman that 's well descended , That did no hurt , nor any harme intended : But for a bonfire in fit time and place , To be abus'd and vs'd thus beastty base . There did I leaue him till the morrow day , And how he scap'd their hands I cannot say . This piece of officer , this nasty patch , ( Whose vnderstanding sleepes out many a watch ) Ran like a towne bull , roring vp and downe , Saying that we had meant to fire the towne ; And thus the diuell his maister did deuise , To bolster out his late abuse with lies ; So all the streete downe as I past along , The people all about me in a throng , Calling me villaine , traytor , rogue , and theife , Saying that I to fire their towne was cheife . I bore the wrongs as patient as I might , Vowing my pen should ease me when I write ; Like to a grumbling cur , that sleepes on hay , Eates none himselfe , driues other beasts away , So this base fellow would not once expresse , Vnto his Prince , a subiects ioyfulnesse , But cause we did attempt it ( as you see ) H'imprison'd Thompson , and thus slandered me . Thus hauing eas'd my much incensed muse , I craue the reader this one fault excuse , For hauing vrg'd his patience all this time , With such a scuruy subiect , and worse rime ; And thou Graues-endian officer take this , And thanke thy selfe , for all that written is , 'T is not against the towne this tale I tell , ( For sure there doth some honest people dwell , ) But against thee , thou fiend in shape of man , By whom this beastly outrage first began , Which I could do no lesse , but let thee know , And pay thee truely what I long did owe , And now all 's euen betwixt thou and I , Then farrewell and be hang'd , that 's twice God buy . Sunday the 26 of August we set sayle from Graues-end , and with various windes , some large and some scarce , we happily past the seas , and sayled vp the riuer of Maze , by the Brill , and on the wednesday following I ariued at Roterdam in Holland , at which time the worthy regiment of the right honorable Colonell Sir Horace Veare , and the two noble Earles , of Essex , and Oxford departed from thence in Martiall Equipage toward the Pallatinate Country , whose Heroick and Magnanimous endeauors , I beseech the Lord of hosts , and God of battells to direct and blesse . The same day , I went to the Hage , and from thence to Leyden , where I lodged all night , and the morrow being thurseday the 30 of August , I sayled from Leyden , to Amsterdam , where I saw many things worthy the noting , but because they are so neere and frequent to many of our Nation , I omit to relate them , to auoid teadiousnes : but on the friday at night I got passage from thence towards Hambrogh , in a small hoy , in the which wee were weather-beaten at sea three dayes and nights before wee ariued there . Saterday the eight of September I left Hambrogh , and being carried day and night in waggons , on the munday night following I came to an ancient towne called Heldesheim , it standeth in Brunswick land , and yet it belongeth to the Bishop of Collin , where I did obserue in their Doome Kirke , or Cathedrall Church , a crowne of siluer 80 foote in compasse , hanged vp in the body of the Church , in the circuit of which crowne were placed 160 wax candles , the which on festiuall dayes , or at the celebration of some high ceremonies are lighted to lighten their darknesse , or their ignorance , chuse yee whether . Moreouer there I saw a siluer bell in their steeple , of six hundred and 30 l. weight , and the Leades of their steeple , shining and sparkling with the Sun beames , they did affirme to mee to bee gold , the truth of which I am doubtfull of . In this towne I stayed foure dayes , and on friday the 14 of September , I went six dutch miles to the strong towne of Brunswick , where by reason of my short stay , which was but two houres , I obserued nothing worthy of memory , but their triple walls , and double ditches , their artillery and fortifications , which they thinke to be impregnable ; besides , there I saw an old house of the Duke of Brunswicke , with the statue of a golden lyon , of a great bignesse , standing aloft vpon a piller , with the broken walls , and houses , which the Dukes Cannon hath left there six yeares since , as tokens and badges of his fury , and their rebellion . From thence on the morrow I went one dutch mile further , to an ancient towne called Wolfunbuttle , where the Duke of Brunswick keepes his Court , in the which I and my fellow could get no further admittance , then ouer a bridge into his outtermost , or base court ; for his souldiers , seeing vs with swords and pistolls , were fearefull , belike , that wee would haue taken the fortresse from them , and therefore though wee were but two Englishmen , yet they durst not let vs enter ; which made men call to remembrance the frequent , and dayly Egresse and Regresse , that all people and nations haue to his Maiesty royal Court of great Brittaine , where none that are of any good fashion or aspect are debar'd entrance : when those inferiour Princes houses are garded with hungry Halberdiers , and reuerend rufty bil-men , with a brace or two of hot shots , so that their pallaces are more like prisons , then the free & noble courts of cōmanding potentates . After two dayes entertainment at Wolfunbuttle , with an English Merchant residing there , of good fame and credit , named Maister Thomas Sackuille , I wish my brother , my fellow Tilbery , and another man in my company departed from thence on foote , onward on our iourny towards Bohemia , in which trauell , what occurrences hapned , and what things of note I saw , were as followeth . Passing with many weary steps , through the townes of Rosondink , Remling , Soolem , Hessen Darsam , and Haluerstade , ( which is all in Brunswick land , ) But this towne of Haluerstade belongs to a Bishop so stiled , who is Duke Christian brother to the now Duke of Brunswick , a long dutch mile ( or almost six English ) is a small towne or a Bleck called Groning belonging to the Duke , in the which place I obserued two things worthy of remembrance . First a most stately Pallace built with a beautiful Chappell , so adorned with the images and formes of Angells , and Cherubins , with such exquisitenes of arts best industry of caruing , grauing , guilding , painting , glasing , and pauing , with such superexcellent workmanship of organes , pulpit and font , that for curiosity and admirable rarenesse , all the buildings , and fabricks that euer I beheld , must giue it preheminence . I confesse that Henry the seuenths Chappell at Westminster , Kings Colledge Chappell in Cambridge , and Christs Church in Canterbury , are beyond it in height and workmanship of stone : for indeed this Chappell is most of wood gipps , and plaster of Parris ; but it is so guilded as if it had bin made in the golden age , when gold was esteemed as drosse , so that a man had need to weare a vaile ouer his dazeling eyes , or else he can hardly looke vpon it . The caruing and painting seeme to outgo the arts of Pigmalion , Apelles , or Praxiteles ; the pauing of chequered blacke and white marble , and the windowes glassed with Christall : but all this great cost and shew is very little to the honor of God , or the propagation of the Ghospel , the edification of the ignorant . For in this Chappell of ease , there is no Seruice . If the painted pulpit could preach , the dumbe images might ( perhaps ) haue a sermon now and then ; for scarce at any time there comes any body into the Chappell , but a fellow that shewes the beauty of it for two pence or three pence a piece . In the same house , in a place or celler built of purpose , is a great tonne or vessell of wood , that was 7 yeares in making , and hath vsed to be filled with Rhenish wine : it is sayd to bee twice as bigge as the vessell at Heidelberg , and the hoopes of it are twelue inches thick , and the staues or bordes of it being as much : I went vp to the top of it , with a ladder of 18 stepps , hee that keepes it saith it will hold 160 tonnes . My fellow Tilbery did creepe in at the tap hole ; it is in length 32 foote , and in breadth acrosse 19 , and verily I thinke that bable cost more mony the making , then would haue built a good ship , or founded an almes house for 6 poore people . This is a Tub of Tubs , Tub of Tubs Hall , Who n'ere had fellow yet , nor euer shall ; O had Diogenes but had this a Ton , He would had thought that he more roome had won , Then Alexanders conquests , or the bounds Of the vast Occean , and the solid grounds . Or had Cornelius but this tub , to drench His clients that had practis'd too much French , A thousand hogsheads then would haunt his firkin , And Mistris Minks recouer her lost mirkin . This mighty cask great Bacchus vs'd too stride , When he to drunkards hall did often ride ; And in this barrell he did keepe his court , Bathing himselfe in Rhenish for disport . But now these 8 yeares it hath dry bin kept ; In it the wine-god hath nor pist or wept ; That now the Cappell , and the cask combine , One hath no preaching , t'other hath no wine . And now the vse they put it to is this , 'T is shew'd for mony , as the Chappell is . From Groning wee trauelled to a towne called Ashers Leauen , to Ashleauen , to Kinderne , to Hall , and so to Leipzig , which is one of the chiefest townes in Saxony , being famous for a yearely Mart that is yearely held there , whereto Merchants and other people from the most part of Christendom haue annual concourse : in this towne we stayd two dayes , and taking our leaue then of some English Merchants , who vsed vs kindly , we there would haue hired a coach or waggon to Prague ; but all the Saxon coach-men and carters were afraid to looke vpon any part of Bohemia , because their Duke is a profest enemy in armes against the King of Beame , so that we were forced to hire a fellow with a wheelebarrow two dayes to carry our cloakes , swords , guns , pistolls , and other apparell and luggage which were our necessaries , to a towne called Boorne , to Froburge , and so to another towne called Penigh , where wee cashierd our one-wheel'd coach , and hired a cart with two , which carried both vs and our baggage to Chemnizt another towne in Saxony , from whence to a place called Shop , wee were faine to bee our owne sumpter horses , walking on foote to the last towne in Saxony , called Marienberg . From thence passing vp and downe inaccessable mountaines , we came to a wood , which parts Bohemia from Saxony on the west , which wood is called by the people of those parts the Beamer Wolts or Wolt , and is in breadth to English miles , and in length further then I know how to describe truely : but this much of it I dare affirme , that it is a naturall impregnable wall to the kingdome of Bohem , which kingdome is all incompast round with woods and mountaines , so that there is no passage on that side of it , for any army to enter into it with munition and artillery , all the wayes being vneuen , and the mountaine tops all boggs , mosses , and quagmires , that great ordnance or any heauy cariage either of horse , cart or waggon , will sinke and be lost . Besides , there are numbers past numbring of Firre trees , many standing , and such store fallen of themselues , that any passage might easily be stopped by laying them crosse the way . And of all my iourny , the trauell through that dismall wood was the most heauy vnto mee , for the trees grew so thicke , and so high , that the sunne was obscured , and the day seemed night ; in some places , the way paued with swimming trees 2 miles together on the tops of hills , which now and then I slipping besides , sunke to the middle in a quagmire . When wee had thus footed it , and trauelled past the hills and woods , ( being at the least 4 houres toyle ) and that wee might looke downe the mountaines into the fruitfull land of Bohem , neuer did sight more reioyce vs , the lower hills being all full of Vineyards , and the vallies , corne and pasture ; not an English mile distance , but a village euery way ; and twenty , thirty , or forty reekes or stacks of corne which their barnes cannot hold , in the space of euery houres iourny : in a word , euery thing that belonged to the vse and commodity of man was and is there , and al the delightfull obiects to satisfie euery sence is there abundantly , so that nature seemed to make that Country her storehouse or granary , for there is nothing wanting except mens gratitude to God for such blessings . The first night we lodged there at a pretty towne called Comoda , which towne by negligence and occasion of fire had fifty houses burnt two dayes before our comming thither , it being eleuen dutch miles from Prague . There we hired a wagon 7 dutch miles to a towne called Slowne , from whence we walked on foote a long 16 English miles to Prague , which long looked for the Citty wee could not see vntill we came within an houres trauell of it : within halfe a dutch mile is a fearefull place , being frequented with inhumaine and barbarous murderers , that assault trauellers , first shooting and murdring them , and after searching their pockets , where if they haue mony or not , all is one , it is but so many slaine : for these villaines haue a wood , and a deepe valley to shelter themselues in , that they are hardly taken afterwards ; but if they chance at any time to be but apprehended , they are racked and tortured to make them confesse , and afterwards their executions are very terrible . But ( I thanke God ) wee past that place , and many other as dangerous as that , where some were robbed and murdered ( as report told vs ) both before vs , behind vs , and on each side : and we saw in our iourny aboue seauen score gallowses and wheeles , where thieues were hanged some fresh , and some halfe rotten , and the carkases of murtherers , broken limb after limb on the wheeles ; and yet it was our happines onely to see the dead villaines , and escape the liuing . I came into Prague on thurseday the seauenth of September , whither if I had come but the friday before , I had seene a most fearefull execution of two notorious offenders ; the manner how , with their faults , as it was truely related to me by English Gentlemen that saw it , I thinke it not much impertinent to relate . The one of them being taken , apprehended and racked , for ripping vp aliue a woman with child , and for taking the infant out of her body , did sowe a liuing puppy into her belly ; all which hee confessed hee did to make properties for wichcraft : and beeing further tortured , hee confessed when and where hee had committed 35. murthers more : the other in respect of him was but a petty offender , for he in all his life time had murthered but 14. For the which execrable facts , their deserued executions were as followeth : First , they were brought out of the Iayle naked from the girdle vpward ; and so being bound fast on high in a cart , that the spectators might see them ; then the Hangman hauing a panne of coales neere him , with red hot pincers nip'd off the nipple of one brest ; then he tooke a knife and giues him a slash or cut downe the backe on one side , from the shoulder to the waste ; and presently gaue him such another slash , three inches from the first ; then on the top he cut the slashes into one ; , and presently taking pincers , tooke hold of the crosse cut , and tore him downe like a Girse below the middle , letting it hang downe behind him like a belt : after which he tooke his burning pincers , and pluck'd off the tops of his fingers of one hand : then passing to another place of the Towne , his other nipple was plucked off , the other side of his back so cut and mangled , ( which they call by the name of rimming , ( if it had beene riming , I would neuer haue written but in prose ) his other fingers nip'd off ; then passing further , all his toes were nip'd off with the burning pincers : after which he was enforced to come out of the cart , and goe on foote vp a steepe hill to the Gallowes , where he was broken with a wheele , aliue , one bone after another , beginning at his legs and ending with his neck , and last of all quartered and layd on the wheele , on a high post , till Crowes , Rauens , or consuming time consume him . This was the manner of both their executions , but I speake but of the greatest murtherer particularly , because it is reported , that all these torments neuer made him once to change countenance , or to make any signe or action of griefe , to call to God for mercy , or to entreate the people to pray for him ; but as if he had beene a senselesse stocke or stone , he did most scornefully , and as it were in disdaine abide it : whilst the other villaine did crye , rore , and make lamentation , calling vpon God often ; the difference was not much in their liues , and manner of their deaths , but I am perswaded the odds was great in their dying . The City of Prague is almost circular or round , being diuided in the middle by the riuer of Moldoue , ouer which is a faire stone Bridge , of 600. paces ouer , and at each end a strong gate of stone : there is said to be in it of Churches and Chappels , 150. for there are great numbers of Catholiques , who haue many Chappels dedicated to sundry Saints , and I was there at foure seueral sorts of diuine exercises ; viz. at good sermons with the Protestants , at Masse with the Papists , at a Lutherans preaching , and at the Iewes Synagog ; three of which I saw and heard for curiosity , and the other for edification . The Iewes in Prague are in such great numbers , that they are thought to be of men , women and children , betwixt 50. or 60000. who doe all liue by brocage and vsury vpon the Christians , and are very rich in money and Iewels , so that a man may see tenne or twelue togither of them , that are accounted worth 20. 30. or 40000. l. apiece ; and yet the slaues goe so miserably attired , that 15. of them are not worth the hanging for their whole wardrobes . The Castle where the King and Queene doe keepe their Court , is magnificent and sumptuous in building , strongly situated and fortified by nature and art , being founded on a high hill , so that at pleasure it keepes the towne in command , and it is much more spacious in roomes for receipt in gardens and orchards , then the Towre of London . I was in it dayly the space of 20 dayes , and saw it royally graced with the presence of a gracious King & Queen , who were honorably attēded by a gallant courtly traine of Lords and Ladies , and Gentles , of the high Dutch and Bohemians , and where was free & bountiful entertainment to strangers in abundance : I must euer humbly and thankfully acknowledge the Queenes Maiesties goodnesse towards mee , whose vndeserued fauours were helpful vnto me both there , and in my tedious iorny home-ward . Moreouer there I saw ( and had in mine armes ) the King and Queenes yongest son , Prince Robert , who was borne there on the 16 of December last : a goodly child as euer I saw of that age , whom with the rest I pray God to blesse ; to his glory and his Parents ioy and comfort . There ( for a token ) I did thinke it meete , To take the shoes from off this Prince his feete : I doe not say I stole , but I did take , And whilst I liue I 'le keepe them for his sake : Long may his Grace liue to be stylde a man , And then I 'le steale his bootes too , if I can . The shoes were vpright shoes , and so was he That wore them , from all harme vpright and free : He vsde them for their vse , and not for pride , He neuer wrong'd them , or ne're trod a side . Lambskin they were , as white as Innocence , ( True patternes for the footsteps of a Prince , ) And time will come ( as I do hope in God ) He that in childhood with these shooes was shod , Shall with his manly feete once trample downe , All Antichristian foes to his renowne . The citty of Prague , hath in it ( by reason of the wars ) thrice the number of it's owne inhabitants , and yet for all that , victuals is in such great plenty , that 6 men cannot eate three halfe penny worth of bread , and I did buy in the market a fat goose well roast for the vallew of nine pence English , and I and my brother haue dined there at a Cookes with good roasted meate , bread and beere , so that we haue bin satisfied and left , for the vallew of fiue pence : a good turky there may bee bought for two shillings , and for fresh fish I neuer saw such store , for in one market day I haue knowne in Prague 2000 carps , besides other fishes , which carps in London are fiue shillings a piece , and there they were for eight pence , or ten pence at the most , so that one of their fresh fish markets heere were worth at the least 5 or 600 pounds , and as for all other manner of wild foule , they are there in satiety , besides their fruites are in such abundance that I boght a basket of grapes of the quantity of halfe a pecke for a penny & farthing , & a hat-ful of faire peaches for as much , pickled cowcumbers I haue bought a pecke for three pence , and muskmellons , there hath bin cast fiue or six carts load of them in one day to their hoggs . As concerning the dyet that is in the Kings armies , I could neuer yet heare any man complaine of want , but that it is more plentifull then in the citty , the greatest scarcity hath bin to some sicke souldiers , who being not able to march with the leaguers ( by reason of their weakenes ) they haue bin left amongst the Boores , or husbandmen in the next villages , where their languages not vnderstood , their succour hath bin but small , but for all this in the campe hath euer bin a continuall cheapnes of all things , the King most duely paying his souldiers at the end of euery month , hauing in his great leguer , vnder the conduct of the Princes of Hollock and Anhalt , of foote and horse 43000 , and at the least of carts and waggons to carry prouision , and baggage for the army , to the number of 18000. In his little leaguer vnder the leading of Count Mansfelt there are of foote and horse 7000 , besides carrs and waggons for carriage , and yet for these great numbers of men and beastes , there is food in all abundance . In the campe with Graue Mansfelt is the Brittane regiment vnder their Colonel Sir Andrew Gray Knight , and in Prague I met with many worthy Gentlemen and souldiers , which were there sicke , as the worthy Captaine Bushell , Lieutenaut Grimes , Lieuetenant Langworth , Ancient Galbreath , Ancient Vandenbrooke , Maister Whitney , Maister Blundell and others , all which did most courteously entertaine me , vnto whom I must euer rest thankful , and they do affirme that now it hath pleased God to grant their souldiers recouery , that they do hope euery Brittaine souldier doth retaine more good spirit , then 3 enemies of what nation soeuer . Thus hauing shewed part of the best things in Bohemia , the Court and Citty of Prague , it shall not be amisse if I relate a little merily , of some things there tolerable , some intollerable , some naught and some worse then naught ; for as euery rose hath a prickle , and euery Bee a sting , so no earthly kingdome hath such persection of goodnesse , but it may be iustly taxed with imperfections . Prague is a famous , ancient , kingly seate , In scituation and in state compleate , Rich in aboundance of the earths best treasure , Proud and high minded , beyond bounds or measure , In Architecture stately ; in Atire , Bezonians and Pleibeians do aspire , To be apparell'd with the stately port Of worship , honor , or the royall court ; There coaches , and carroches are so rife , They do attend on euery trades mans wife , Whose husbands are but in a meane regard , And get their liuing by the ell or yard , How euer their estates may be defended , Their wiues like demy ladies are attended : I there a Chimney sweepers wife haue seene , Habillimented like the diamond Queene , Most gaudy garish , as a fine maid marrian , With breath as sweete as any suger carrion , With sattin cloake , lin'd through with budg , or sable , Or cunny furre ( or what her purse is able ) With veluet hood , with tiffanies , and purles , Rebatoes frizlings , and with powdred curles , And ( lest her hue or sent should be attainted , She 's antidoted , well persum'd and painted , She 's fur'd , she 's fring'd , she 's lac'd and at her wast , She 's with a massie chaine of siluer brac'd , She 's yellow starch'd , she 's ruff'd , and cuff'd , and muff'd , She 's ring'd , she 's braceleted , she 's richly tuff'd , Her petticoale , good silke as can be bought , Her smocke , about the taile lac'd round and wrought , Her gadding legges are finely spanish booted , The whilst her husband , like a slaue all sooted , Lookes like a courtier to infernall Pluto , And knowes himselfe to be a base cornuto . Then since a man that liues by chimny sweepe , His wife so gaudy richly clad doth keepe , Thinke then but how a Merchants wife may go , Or how a burgamaisters wife doth show ; There ( by a kind of top sie turuy vse , ) The women weare the bootes , the men the shooes , I know not if 't be profit , or else pride , But sure th' are oft'ner riden then they ride : These females seeme to be most valiant there , Their painting shewes they do no colours feare , Most art-like plastring natures imperfections , With sublimated , white and red complexions ; So much for pride I haue obserued there , Theire other faults are almost euery where . Thus hauing stayd in Prague almost 3. weekes , I returned from thence homeward , on tuesday , the 26. of September , hauing in my company three Gentlemen , a widdow ( and foure small children ) whose husband and being an English man , and the Kings Brewer for Beere , deceased , and was buried there in Prague whilst I was there : the good desolate woman hauing receiued reward after seuen yeares seruice there and at Heidelberg , being desirous to retire to her countrey ( England ) came with vs , with my brother , and my fellow Tilbery . We tooke two Coaches at the Castle of Prague , & in a day and halfe , we were carried seuen Duch miles , to a Towne in Bohemia ( standing on the riuer of Elue ) called Leutmeritz , at which Towne we all layd our moneyes together , and bought a boate of 48. foote in length , and not 3. foote in bredth , and because we did not know the riuer , wee hired a Bohemian waterman to guide vs 15. dutch miles , to the Towne of Dreason in Saxony . But 4. miles short of that Town , which was the first Towne in the Saxon Countrey , called Pirne , where we were stayed 5. houres without the gates , til such time as the Burgamaster wold be pleased to examin vs : in the meane space our waterman ( not daring to abide the terrible triall of examination , because the Duke of Saxon was in Armes against the King of Beame ) hee ran away , and left vs to bring the boate downe the riuer , 600. English miles our selues to Hamburgh . But now to close vp all , I will relate what rare dyet , excellent cookery , and sweete lodging we had in ouriourney in Germany : first for our comfort , after very hard getting of houseroome , our lodgings was euery night in straw , where lying together well littered , we honestly alwayes left our sheetes behind vs : then at our suppers at a table square , and so broad , that two men can hardly shake hands ouer it , we being some twelue about it . Our first dish being a raw cabbadge , of the quantity of halfe a pecke , cut and chopped small , with the fat of resty bacon powred vpon it in stead of oyle ; which dish must be emptied before we could get any more : Our second dish perhaps , a peck of boylde Apples and honey , the Apples being boyled skins , stalkes , cores , and all : Thirdly , 100. Gudgeons , newly taken perhaps , yet as salt as if they had beene three yeares pickled , or twice at the East Indies , boyled with scales , guts an all , and buried in Ginger like sawdust : a fresh pike as salt as brine , boyled in flat milke , with a pound of Garlick . This was the manner of the most part of our dyet ; and if we did aske them why they did salt their meate so vnreasonably , their answere was , that their beer could not be consumed , except their meat were salted extraordinarily . If a man doe finde fault or seeme distasted with their beastly dyet , he is in danger to be thrust out of dores , and take vp his lodging in the streetes : and in the conclusion when dinner or supper is ended , then comes mine Host , or his leather lip'd Froe , with a sawcy reckoning of what they please , which sounds in our eares like a harsh Epilogue , after a bad playe ; for what they say wee must pay , their words are irreuocable ( like the ancient Kings of Persia ) and we must not question or aske how and how it can bee so much , but pay them their demand without grumbling to halfe a farthing . Which made me call to minde sixe seuerall principals , that doe belong to a traueller , as patience , silence , warinesse , watchfulnesse , a good stomacke , and a purse wel moneyed ; for if he want any one of these , ( perhaps ) the other fiue will neuer bring him to his iournies end . A mans patience must be such , that ( though he be a Barron ) he must beare all abuses , either in words , lodging , dyet , or almost any thing , though offered from or by a sowter , a tinker , or a Merchant of tripes & turneps ; his silence must be , that though he heare & vnderstand himselfe wronged , yet he must be as dumbe as a Gudgeon or a Whiting mop : and though his mouth be shut , his warinesse must be such , that his eares must be euer open , to listen and ouer-heare all dangers that may bee complotted against him : his watchfulnesse must be so , that he must seldome sleep with both his eyes at once , lest his throat be cut before he wake againe . But for his stomacke , hee must eate grasse with a horse , aud draffe with the hogges , for hee that cannot eate pickl'd herring broth , and dirty puddings , shall many times fast by authority , and goe to bed withont his supper : and last of all , he must haue Fortunatus or a Prince his purse , that must bee ( like a drunkards dagger ) euer drawne , to pay bountifully for such wash and graines , as his valiant stomack hrth ouercome , conquered and deuoured : but of this a little in verse : Sixe things vnto a Traueller belongs , An Asses backe , t' abide and beare all wrongs : A fishes tougue ( mute ) grudging speech forbearing , A Harts quick eare , all dangers , ouerhearing . A dogs eyes , that must wake as they doe sleepe , And by such watch his corpes from perill keepe . A swines sweete homely taste , that must digest Al Fish , Flesh , Rootes , Fowle , foule and beastly drest ; And last , he must haue euer at his call A purse well lynde with coyne to pay for all . With this kinde of lodging and dyet , and with tedious labour sometimes night and day , wee came in 14. dayes 607. miles from Prague in Bohemia , to Hambrogh on the hither skirts of Germany , the riuer hauing aboue 1000. shelues and sands , and 800. Ilands , so that a man cannot see on which side of them to goe , there being 240. mills chained in boates on the first streame , and a number numberlesse of Oakes and other trees sunke with the violence of the Riuer , and sometimes fogs and mists that we could not see a boates length from vs : besides great Rocks , and stones that were fallen into the water , that any or many of these impediments do often ouerthrow boats , and drowne passengers ; yet I , and my fellow Tilbery ( wee being both his Maiesties watermen ) did by Gods assistance safely escape them all , and brought our selues , as is afore-sayd , to Hamborogh , where being winde bound 10. dayes , I thanke the English Merchants , I was well welcomed , vntill at last it pleased God , the winde came faire , I tooke ship , and after 9. dayes and nights of various weather ( I giue prayse to the Almighty ) I safely came home to my house in London , on saterday the 28. of September . 1620. You that haue bought this , grieue not at the cost , Ther 's something worth your noting , al 's not lost , First halfe a Constable is well bumbasted , If there were nothing else , your coynes not wasted , Then I relate of hills , and dales , and downes , Of Churches , Chappels , Pallaces and Townes , And then to make amends ( although but small ) I tell a tale of a great Tub withall , With many a gallowse , Iibbit , and a wheele , Where murdrers bones are broke , from head to heele ; How rich Bohemia is in wealth and food , Of all things which for man or beast is good . How in the Court at Prague ( a princely place ) A gracious Queene vouchsafed me to grace , How on the sixteenth day of August last , King Frederick to his royall army past , How fifty thousand were in armes araid , Of the Kings force , be side th' Hungarian ayde , And how Bohemia strongly can oppose , And cuffe and curry all their daring foes . Then though no newes of state , may heere be had , I know heer 's something will make good men glad , No bringer of strange tales I meane to be , Nor I le beleeue none that are told to me . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13508-e550 ●he first let●ers of his ●ames are L●nd ●nd his full ●ame being ●nnagrama●●'d is A Tro●eler , a trobe●er he was to ●e , and so I ●eare he hath ●ene to my Reader . 
A13505	----	Taylor's motto Et habeo, et careo, et curo. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1621 Approx. 84 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 35 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13505 STC 23800 ESTC S118325 99853532 99853532 18917 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13505) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18917) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:23) Taylor's motto Et habeo, et careo, et curo. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. Cockson, Thomas, engraver. [74] p. Printed [by Edward Allde] for I T[rundle] & H G[osson], London : 1621. Signed on A2v: Iohn Taylor. In verse. A reply to: Wither, George. Wither's motto. The title page is engraved and signed: TC, i.e. Thomas Cockson. Printer's and booksellers' names from STC. Signatures: A (A2 + chi¹) B-D E⁴. The first leaf is blank. In this edition B4r line 1 has "Libles". Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Wither, George, 1588-1667. -- Wither's motto -- Controversial literature -- Early works to 1800. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Chris Scherer Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Chris Scherer Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion TAYLOR' 's MOTTO . Et habeo , Et Careo , Et Curo . London Printed for IT & HG . 1621. The Embleme Explained . FIrst on a Rocke , with raging waues embrac'd , My ( seeming fixed ) fleeting feete are plac'd : The one 's like stedfast hope , the other then Presents temptations which encompasse men , Which he that can resist with Constancy , Is a most happy man in Miserie . The world , which I betwixt my legges doe stride , Vpon the which a booke doth seeme to ride , Shewes that in scorne of spight , or enuies force , My booke doth make the world a Hobby horse . Riding the iadish Hackneies of this age , In ● plaine dealing Satyrs Equipage . The Badge vpon my breast , shewes plainely this , I haue a Maister , * iust , and who he is . I haue a Muse to write , A Boat to rowe , Which both the booke and Oare doth plainely shew . So much for what I haue , now that I want , The empty purse proclaimes , that monie 's scant , Want's my fee simple , or my simple fee , And ( as I am a Poet , ) dwells with me . Thus I haue want , and with want , I haue care , That hels suggestions , not my soule insnare . Whil'st what I haue , and want , neglected lyes , I to the way I care for , fix mine eyes . My looking on the Sunne , doth heere expresse , I care to see the Sonne of righteousnes ; And Reader , in the booke , if you inquire for , Ther 's more of what I haue , and want , and care for . Iohn Taylor . To Euery BODY . YEt not to euery Reader , doe I write , But onely vnto such as can Read right : And with vnpartiall censures , can declare , As they find things ▪ to iudge them as they are . For in this age of Crittickes , are such store , That of a B. will make a Battledore . Swallow downe Camells , & at Gnatts will straine , Make Mountaines of small Molehills , & againe Extenuat faults , or else faults amplifie , According as their carping censures fly . Such are within the Motto of I haue , But though the gallant Gulls , be ne're so braue : And in their owne esteeme are deemed wise , I haue a mind , their follies to dispise . There are some few that wil their iudgement season ▪ With mature vnderstanding , and with reason : And call a spade a spade , a Sichophant , A flattring Knaue , and those are th●se I want . For those that seeme to reade , and scarce can spell , Who nei●her point nor keepe their pe●iods well : Who doe a mans inuention so be martyr ▪ So hanging , drawing , and so cut and quarter , Making good lines contemptible threed bare , To keepe my booke from such as those I care . Adue : Iohn Taylor TAYLORS MOTTO . Et habeo , Et Careo , Et Curo . I haue , I want , I care . IS any man offended ? marry gep With a horse nightcap , doth your iadeship skip ? Although you kicke , & fling , & wince & spurne , Yet all your Coltes-tricks will not serue your turn . Vice hath infected you , 'gainst vertues force , With more diseases then an aged horse ; For some of you are hide-bound greedily , Some haue the yellowes , of fal●e Iellousie , Some with the staggers , cannot stand vpright : Some blinde with B●bes , can see to doe no right . Some foundred ▪ that to Church they cannot goe , Broke winded some , corrupted breath doe blowe , Some hoofe bound , some su●bated , and some graueld , With trauelling , where the● shuuld not haue traueld . Some are crest falne , through th●immoderate vice , Of gorgeous outsides , smoake , and drinke , and dice. And some are full of malle●ders and scratches , The neck-cricke , sp●uins , shouldersplat , and aches . The ring-bone , quitter-bone , bots , botch , and scab , And nauelgall , with coursing of the Drab . The back-gall , light-gall , wind-gall , shackle-gall , And last , the spur-gall , the worst gall of all . A good sound horse , needs not my whip to feare , For none but Iades are wrung i' th withers heere . And doe these hackneyes thinke to runne on still ( Without a bit or snaffle ) as they will , And head-strong prancing through abuses , dash , And scape without a Satyrs yerking lash ? No , they must knowe the Muses haue the might , The vniust iustly to correct and smite , To memorize victorious vertues praise , To make mens fame or shame , out liue their dayes , To force iniustice ( though it doe looke bigge ) With his owne nailes his cursed graue to digge : T'emblaze the goodnes of a man that 's poore , And tell the vices of an Emperour . All this the Muses dares , and will , and can , Not sparing , fearing flattring any man. And so dare I , ( if I iust cause doe see ) To write , from feare , or hate , or flattry free , Or taxing any in particulere , But generall at all , is written heere . For had I meant the Satyre to haue plaid , In Aquafortis , I would whips haue Iayd , And mixt my inke ( to make it sharpe with all ) With sublimate , and Cockatrices gall , VVhich , with a Satyres spleene , and fury fierce , With the least ierke would to the entrailes pierce , And with a lash that 's ●ustily layd on , Would strip and whip the world , vnto the bone , I know that none at me , will spurne or kicke , Whose consciences no villany doth pricke : And such as those will in their kennells lye , And gnar , and snarle , and grumble secretly , But with full mouth , they dare not barke or bite , But fret within , with rancor and despight . For why ( before the world ) I make a vowe ; There doth not liue that male , or female now , 'Gainst whom I haue so much as is a thought , Much lesse , against them are my Verses wrought , This Motto in my head , at first I tooke , In imitation of a better booke : And to good mindes I no offence can giue , To follow good examples , whil'st I liue . For I had rather to abide detraction , And be an Ape , in any honest action : Then wilfully , into a fault to runne , Though it before , had by a King bin done . I haue not heere reuil'd against my betters , Which makes me feare no dungeon , bolts , or fetters : For be he neere so great , that doth apply My lines vnto himselfe , is worse then I. Smooth is my stile , my methode meane and plaine , Free from a railing , or inuectiue straine ▪ In harmelesse fashion heere I doe declare , Mine owne rich wants , poore riches , and my care , And therefore at my wants let no man grieue , Except his charges will the same releiue : And for my Wealth ( except a rotton Boate ) I neuer fear'd the cutting of my throate . And those that for my cares doe enuy me , Shall in them ( if they list ) great sharers be . All my taxations are in generall , Not any personall , or nationall : The troubles now in Fraunce , I touch not heere Nor of the Britaine fleete before Argiere . Nor of the forces that the Turke doth bring , Against the Poland Kingdome and their King. Of Count Buckoy , of Beth'lem Gabor , or Of Spinnola , or any Ambassador . Nor Denmarkes King nor of the Emperour , Nor Netherlands great Nauigable powre . Nor of Religious points my Muse doth chant , Of Romish Catholicke , or Protesta●t : Of Brownist , H●ssite , or of Caluinist , Arminian , Puritan , or Familist , Nor against Corporation , trade , or Art , My poore inuentions speakes in any part . And therefore Critticke snarle , and snap , and hang , If inwardly thou feele my Satyres fange : T is wisedome in thee , if thy spleene thou hide , And mend thy selfe , before thy faults be spide . Thus as I boldly haue begun to enter Couragiously , I 'le through the busines venter . I haue . I Ha●e a Soule which through it be not good , 'T was bought at a deere rate , my Sauiours Blood : And though the Deuill continually doe craue it , Yet he that bought it hath most right to haue it . I ( with my soule ) haue power to vnderstand , The summe of my Creators great Command : And yet I haue a Law , within me still , That doth rebell against his Sacred Will. But though ( through merrit ) I haue Hell deseru'd , Through Mercy yet I haue a Heau'n reseru'd , I haue a reason , which can diffrence make 'Twixt good and bad , to choose , and to forsake : I haue a working , forward , and free will , Wherewith I haue inclynded to doe ill . I haue a Conscience , which doth tell me true ▪ That for my sinnes the wrath of God is due . And to relieue that Conscience terrifide , I haue a Faith , in Ie●us Crucifide . I haue a Iudgement , by the which I see , And Iudge , how good and bad things different bee : And with iust Censure , I distinguish can , The oddes betweene a monster and a man. But when with iudgement on my selfe I looke , I straight wayes am with feare and horror strooke : And finding my afflicted Conscience grudg'd , I iudge my selfe , for feare of being iudg'd . I haue a Knowledge , by the which I knowe , That all that 's good in me , God did bestowe : And all my thoughts , and words , and actions euill , I haue them ( like my neighbors ) from the Deuill . By this my Knowledge , sometimes skill I haue , To knowe an honest man , and knowe a knaue : To knowe where I fare well , to come againe , Where Friends for loue , doe onely entertaine . To knowe that Enuy , Pride and Lechery , Sloath , Wrath , and Auarice , and Gluttony , Doth make the world dance Antique in a string , And all their Followers to confusion bring . I knowe that griping base Extortion , As it gets wealth without proportion , Eu'n so , without proportion , rule or measure , Shall be consum'd , that most accursed Treasure . I knowe a swearer , when I heare his Oathes , I knowe a Gull although he weare good Cloathes , I knowe a Prodigall , by 's lauish spending , I knowe a Foole ( my selfe ) by too much lending . I knowe I haue discharged others Score , But will ( for ought I knowe ) doe so no more . I knowe , that foure and twenty letters teaches All the whole worlds tongues , languages & spe●ches . I knowe that I not any word can frame , But in some Language 't is an Annagram . And though the world of sundry parts consists , Yet all the world are Anagramatists . I know the numbers numberlesse of faces , That were , are , shall be , at all times , and places , Are all vnlike each other , for we see They each from other may distinguish'd be . I know the difference of these voices are , Vnlike each other , being neere , or farre . And that mens seuerall writings are contrary , And in some things from one another vary , And by this knowledge I haue inward sight , How that the workes of God are infinite . I haue credulity , that when I heere A man a●ouch a thing , protest and sweare ▪ I haue giu'n credit to him by and by , Although the wicked wretch did sweare and lye , Be●ause I haue a hope that want of grace , Doth not our Makers Image quite deface . As that a man who hath wit , sence , or reason , Dares to commit so horrible a treason , As to call God to witnesse of his lies , Thereby to countenance his villanies . Thus through simplicity , and light beliefe , I haue belieu'd an arrant whore , or thiefe . I haue opinion , and haue euer had , That when I see a stagg'ring drunken swad ▪ Then that a man worse then an Asse , I see , Because an Asse will neuer drunken be . And yet in mine opinion I am bold , ( That friendship and ●ocietie to hold ) The merry spending of an idle houre , To take a cup , or two , or three , or foure ▪ If soberly the meeting be well ended , T is tollerable , and to be commended . And yet I haue my imperfections to , Which makes me daily doe , as others doe : For I l●ke ( many rich men ) now and than , Make shew to be a very honest man : But strong temptations dog me euery houre , Which to resist I haue so little power , That if ( perhaps ) I had their meanes , I thinke I should ( as they doe ) di●e and drab and drinke , And through infirmity , or wilfulnesse , Run greedily to Riots vaine excesse : For Honors changes Manners , wealth and place Are ( oftentimes ) temptations to disgrace , And did some great men cast vp their account , To what their vaine expences doe amount : So much for needlesse quartes , so much for smoake , Payde so much for Eringoes , ( to prouoke ) So much for Coach-hire , so much for a whore , With Item not three half-pence to the poore . And who knowes , if I had their mean●s , I say But I should be as very a K●aue as they . For I haue imperfections , and a will And fraile infirmities , t'atempt what 's ill , That I in no good action cannot stand , Exept supported by th' Almighties hand . I haue a sence , and feeling simpathy , Of others woe , and want , and miserie : If one man doth doe good , another bad I ( for them both ) can be both glad , and sad . For when I see a Great man raised hye , I haue a sence of his Nobillity , And wish , that all his Actions still may be , To make him worthy of his dignity . But when I see that Fortune ' ginnes to frowne , And from her fickle wheele to cast them downe , Though their foule faults I hate and doe abhor , Yet as th' are men , I haue a pitty for . For when a whore is whip'd , a Bawd it'h Cart , A drunkard in the stockes , for his desert : An arrant Knaue , or periurde wretch to stand , And makes the Pillory his falling band ; Or one whose backward Fortune doth preuaile , To make a bri●le of a Horses ●aile , With riding Retrograde , it'h streetes proclaime , On their own backes & breasts , their faults & shame . When any Villaine for his fault is tortur'd , A Theife , or Traytor , hang'd , or drawne and quarterd . As I doe hope for mercy from Aboue , As they are men they doe my pitty moue . And I doe grieue the Deuill hath so much power , Mans Reason , and Aleageance to deuoure : And that of Grace they layd no faster hold , But fall into these mischeifes manifold . I haue a Fortune that attends on me , For neuer will I Fortunes vassall be : And let her frowne or smile , or hang her selfe , And g●ue me either pouerty or pelfe , Or cast me lowe , or lift me vp on hye , Yet ( spight her teeth ) I 'le liue vntill I dye . For all mans outward happines , are things Ty'd and bound fast to fickle Fortunes wings : Which when she li●t she will alight and stay , And wh●● her wheele but turnes she flies away . She 's bountifull to fooles , and therefore I Haue small share in her liberallity . On wise men she doth fauours seldome fix , For wisdome scornes her slights and iugling tricks , And yet no 〈◊〉 of man aliue , ( If Fortune frowne , on him ) can make him thriue . For why , so powerfull is the purblinde witch , To raise vp knaues , and make fooles deuilish rich , To set an Asse on top of all her wheele , And to kick vertue backward , with her heele , To raise 〈◊〉 Piper , Pander , or a Iester , And therefore hang the hag , I doe detest her . She hath st●ange tricks , and workes for diuers end● , To make a great man haue more kin then friends , But seldome she this good report doth win , To make a poore man haue more friends then kin . A King in 's Throne , a generall in the warre , Places of best command , and reuerence are . But yet if Fortune frowne on their affaires , They shal be rich in nothing but in cares . Shee 's like a I●nus with a double face , To smile and lowre ; to grace , and to disgrace ; She lou's and loathes , together at an instant , And in inconstancy is onely constant . Vncertaine certaine , neuer loues to settle , But heere , there , euery where ; in dock out nettle . The man whom all her frownes or fauours spurnes , Regardeth not her wheele , how oft it turnes . A wise man knowes she's easier found , then kept And as she 's good , or bad , he doth accept . He knowes she comes , intending not to stay , And giu's but what she meanes to t●ke away . For by discretion it is truely knowne , Her liberall gifts she holds still as her owne . And vnto me her bounty hath bin such , That if she tak 't againe I care not much . I haue a loue which I to God doe owe , With which I haue a feare doth in me growe : I loue him for his goodnes , and I feare , To anger him , that hath lou'd me so deere ▪ I feare in loue , as hee 's a gracious God , Not loue for feare of his reuenging Rod. And ●hus a lo●ing feare in me I haue , L●ke an adopted sonne , not like a slaue . I haue a King whom I am bound vnto , To doe him all the seruice , I can doe : T● whom when I shall in Alegeance faile , Let all the Deuills in hell my soule a●●aile ; If any i● his gouernment abide , In whom foule Treacherous mallice doth recide 'Gainst him , his Royall offspring or his friends , I wish that Halters may be all their ●●ds . And those that cannot most vnfainedly , Say this , and sweare , as confident as I : Of what degree so ere , I wish ( one houre ) They were , in some kind skilfull Hangmans power . I haue a life was lent me 'fore my birth , By the great Landlord both of Heau'n and Earth : But though but one way vnto life is common , For All that euer yet was borne of woman , Yet are there many thousand waies for death , To dispossesse vs , of our liues , and breath . For why , the Lord of life ( that life doth make ) Will ( as he pleaseth ) life both giue and take , And let me ( blamelesse ) suffer punishment , Or losse of goods , or causlesse banishment , Let me be ●ang'd , or burn'd or stab'd , or drownd , All 's one to me , so still my Faith keepe sound , Then let my life be ended , as God will ▪ This is my minde , and hope shal be so still : To get to Heau'n , come thousands deathes together , Th' are welcome pleasures , if they bring me thether . I know for certaine , all Mortallity , When it begins to liue , begins to dye ; And when our liues that backe againe we giue , VVe euer endlesse then doe dye , or liue . When good men wish long life , 't is vnderstood That they would longer liue , to doe more good : But when a bad man wisheth to liue long , It is because he faine would doe mo●e wrong . And this one reason giu's me much content , Thought I shall haue no Marble Monnument , Where my corrupted Carkas may inherrit . With Epitaphs , to blaze my want of merrit , To wast as much to pollish and be-guild , As would a charitable Almes-house build . All which , a gouty Vsurer , or worse , May haue , and haue poore peoples heauy cu●se , That many times the sencelesse Ma●ble weepes , Because the ex●crated corps it keepes . When the meane space perhap's the wretched soule , In flames vnquenchable doth yell and bowle . I haue a hope , that doth my hea●t refresh . How e're my soule be sundred , from my flesh : Although I haue no friends to mourne in sacke , With merry insides , and with outsides blacke ; Though ne're so poorely they my corps interr , Without bell , booke or painted Sepulcher , Although I misse these trifles Transitory , I haue a hope my soule shall mount to glory . I haue a vaine in Poetry , and can Set forth a knaue to be an honest man ; I can my Verses in such habit clad , ' Tabuse the good , and magnifie the bad . I can write ( if I li●t ) nor Rime or Reason , And talke of fellony , and whistle Treason . And Libell against goodnes ( if I would ) And agai●st misery could raile and scould ; Fowle Treachery I could mince out in parts , Like Vintners pots , halfe pints , and pints , and quarts . Euen so could I , with Libles base abound , From a graine waight or scruple , to a pound , With a lowe note I could both say or sing , As much as would me vnto Newgate bring . And straining of my voyce a little higher , I could obtaine the Fleete at my desire : A little more aduancing of my note , I from the Fleete , might to the Gatehouse floate . Last , aboue Ela raising but my power , I might , in state be mounted to the Tower. Thus could my Muse ( If I would be so base ) Runne carelesse by degrees , into disgrace , But that for loue of goodnes I forbeare , And not for any seruile slauish feare . Time seruing vassalls , shall not me applaud , For making of my Verse a great mans Bawd : To set a luster , and a flatt●●ing glosse , On a dishonorable lump of drosse ; To sl●bber or'e a Ladies homely feature , And set her forth for a most beau●ious creature . No● shall my free inuention , stoope t' adore , A fowle diseased , pocky , painted whore . Rewards or b●●bes my Muse shall ne're entice , To wrong faire Vertue , or to honor Vice , But as my Conscience doth informe me still , So will I praise the good , condemne the ill . That man is most to be abhord of men , Who in his cursed hand dares take a pen , Or be a meanes to publish at the presse , P●●phaned lines , or obsceane be●stlines , Sc●●illitie ▪ or knowne a parant lyes , To a●●mate or couer villanies ; A ●alter for such Poets , stead of Bayes , Wh● make the Muses whores● , much worse then T●ais ▪ Such R●scalls make the Helliconian well , ( 〈…〉 and respect ) like hell . ●nd of 〈◊〉 , good m●n iustly are rewarded , 〈◊〉 and scorn'd l●ke hellhounds , vnregarded . For Poetry ( 〈…〉 be vs● arig●t ) 〈…〉 mercy , and his might : For 〈…〉 ignorance ) it hath some foes , 〈◊〉 may be praisd in Verse , as well as prose . 〈…〉 are fit for Kings , To 〈◊〉 them M●taphoricall ) such things 〈…〉 they should know and heare , 〈◊〉 none but Poets dare to speake for fea●e ▪ A Poet 's 〈◊〉 a Poet , and his trade Is still to make : but Orators , are made . All Arts are taught and learnd , we daily see , But taug●● , a Poet neuer yet could be . And as the ●ree is by the fruite well knowne , So by his writing is a Poet showne ; If he be 〈◊〉 dispos'd , hee 'le well endite , If ill 〈…〉 viciously will write . And 〈…〉 or bad , in his condition , His 〈◊〉 ●ill sh●w his inward disposition . And to 〈◊〉 this point , and make an end , The best am●ngst them hath much need to mend . I ha●● a tongue , and could both sweare and lye , ( I● to such customes ▪ I would it apply ) But often swearing now and then forsweares , And lying , a mans credit quite out weares ; I le trust 〈◊〉 arrant Th●●fe to keepe my purse , As soone as one that lou●● to sweare and curse : For can it be that he that takes a vse , And custome , God in swearing to abuse , Can it be thought he will make Conscience then , To play the false dissembling Knaue with men ? Nor can my supposition euer dreame , That he who dares his Makers name blaspheame , But that if Time would but occasions bring , He would betray his Countrey , and his King. For 't is a Maximm , ( no man can conuince ) The man that feares not God , loues not his Prince . And ●e that cares not for his soule , I thinke , Respects not if his Country swim or sinke . To lying I beare such a ha●e that I Will neuer ( wittingly ) affirme a lye : I will not say , but I a lye may say , But I will not affirme it any way : T is the maintaining falshoods to be true , To whome a liers odious name is due . That all vntruths are falshoods , none denies , But sure all falshoods cannot be cald lyes . For Esops fables , Ouids art-like fictions , ( Although they are ' against truth meere contradictions , ) Of humane transformations from their kind , Of disputations twixt the Sunne , and win●e , Of fowles , and beasts , and riuers , trees , and stones , To tell each other of their ioyes or mones , Of men transform'd to dogs , beares , bulls , swine , apes , Which shewes that treasons , murders , incests , rapes ; Turns men into worse formes then beastly creatures , When reason 's dispossest by bruitish natures . A fiction , fable , or a harmelesse iest , I tollerate , but lyes I doe detest . Th'Egyptians had a Law , that euery lyer , Should straite way be beheaded , for their hyre . But if that Law were executed heere , Few P●tifoggers would be left I feare . The very Court would forfeit now and than , Many a complementing Gentleman . But sure the Ci●ty were the greatest share , Where lying buyes and sells , a world of ware ; The Countrey somtimes would a head alowe , In selling Corne , a Horse , a Sow , a Cowe : And then a headsman would get store of pelfe , If he could but refraine to lye himselfe . I haue a memorie like ( as I doe find ) A wallet , halfe before , and halfe behind . In the fore part my neighbours faults I put , Behind ( quite from my sight ) mine owne are 〈◊〉 . Thus partiallity runnes like a streame , To spy a Moate , and not to see a Beame . But when as reason memorie collects . T'exammin , my owne impotent defects , Then doth it vnto me such things record , As makes me ( almost ) of my selfe abhord . It tells me I was in corruption borne , And to corruption that I shall returne . It tells me that betwixt my birth and this , I haue done thousand thousand things amisse , It bids me to remember what I am , To what place I must goe , and whence I came , And with these thoughts , when as my mind is high , I am deiected , through humility . And this all great men well remember may , They are but Honorable clods of clay : Or Reue●end Right Worshipfull graue dust , And ( whence they came ) againe they thither must . I say if foolish females , with faire features , Would but remember they were Mortall Creatures : And that as their good Grandames dide before , Eu'n so must they , and must be seene no more , And all their gaudy glory be forgot , Whilst they shall lye , consume , and stinke , and rot . If these things , they would to remembrance call , Their honied pleasures , would be mix'd with Gall. And all and euery one their course would bend ▪ Within themselues , what is amisse to mend . The memorie , vnto the soule is food , That thinkes , & saies , & doth the things that 's good . I haue a hea●t doth like a Monarch raigne , Who in my Microcosme , doth lawes ordaine : Affections , Sences , Passions , Subiects Slaues , Some like good Courtiers ; some like flattring knaues , With showe of Vertue , hiding of their Vice , They bring their Lord t'a foolish Paradice , For when the heart thinkes swearing an abuse , Then Anger saies it is a manly vse , And when to quaffe , the minde hath no intent , Affection saies 't is ho●est merriment , The minde calls Lecherie abhomination , Sence saies 't is Gentlemanlike recreation , The minde holds Coueteousnes worse then theft , Sence calls it Husbandry , and frugall thrift , Reason delights in liberallity , Sence counsells it to prodigallity . And thus these vassells doe their King mislead , ( Whilst Reason seemes to be asleepe or dead . ) And thus this little Kingdome man doth fade , With hearing Traytors , when they doe perswade . I haue experience , by the which I find , That some though poore in purse , are rich in minde : And they that haue of wealth the greatest store , Are ( in content ) most miserable poore , Ther 's many a Mammanist doth houses keepe , With lofty Turrets , and with Sellers deepe : With a most stately porch , and spacious hall , And kitchin , lesser then a Coblers stall Where ( in two dayes ) a poore halfe ●acke of Mutton , Proclaimes the Maister of the house , no Glutton . Where foule bewitching gold in bondage is , ( ●s may the keepers be , in hells abisse . ) Where waking thoughts , keepes still the mind opprest And frigh●full dreames , makes ●est to be vnrest , And where as feares by night , and doubts by day Driues happines , and sweet content away . M●●h better then is my estate then theirs , I ha●e content , and they the golden cares : I can feed well at home , and soundly sleepe , And what I haue not care to lose or keepe . I haue consideration , to perceiue , What 's best for me to take , and what to l●aue ▪ When I consider , pleasures past and gone , Doth adde affliction , to affliction , Though he that 's lowe can very hardly rise , Yet he that'● high , oft falls to miseries . He that is downe , his fear 's already past , Whilst he that 's vp may haue a slippery cast . I doe consider , that I oft did craue , Things both from God and men , vnfit to haue : And many times , through in considerate wi● , Gui●ts giue●● and receiuers , are vnfit . He 〈◊〉 a liberall man , that doth deny , That which will doe the askers iniurie ; There i● a bounty , which I will reueale , That he nere giu's in vaine that giu's in zeale : As prodigality , brings wan● , and woes , So liberallity , makes friends of foes . T is better for a man his purse to hold , Then giue to make a begger proud , or bold , True bounty , is ( on earth ) a speciall grace , And hath in heauen prepared a glorious place . For as the Sunne vnto the moone giu's light , Which light she giues againe to vs by night : So God doth giue his guifts to libr'all men , Which they ( to men that want ) doe giue agen . But he that giues should straite forget it quite , What they that take , in memory should write . And I accept a like , great guifts , and small , Onely to me the giuers mind is all . T is a base bounty when a man releiues , These prostituted whores , or knaues , or Theiues , For still the Deuill is bountifull to those , That vnto vertue are in●etterate foes . But many hold it for a generous part , To giue a man that 's drunke the 'tother quart : And in a humor ( to haue Drawers trouble ) Throw pottle Pots downe staires , to come vp dubbl● ▪ When straite vpon their knees , they all accord , To drinke a health to some vnworthy Lord : Some fusty Madam , or some carpet Knight , ●Till they can neither speake , or stand vpright . Then being all abhominable drunke , A Gallant drinkes a health vnto his Punke : The which withall Sir Reuerence strait they are , Inioynd to doe , vpon their knees , all bare . If any dare deny to pledge the Drab , Hee 's in great danger of a mortall Stab : For he accounts it worse then blasphemie , That one should there his Mistris health deny . Vntill at last , o're charg'd with to much wine , They wallow in their vomits , worse then swine : Thus many a beastly rude Barbarian , Gaines little of a lib'rall Gentleman . A worthy spirit , a rare Noble sparke , True bred , a merry Greeke , or man of marke . A right mad Troyan , a most ex'lent blade , As bountifull a man as e're God made . Thus many an idle fellow gets a name Of Bountifull , through deedes of sinne and shame . Indeed hee 's liberall , that spends health and wealth , And precious Time , in drinking others health : If dropsie Drunkards falne to pouerty , Should beg a Pension of his Maiesty , And in their humble sutes would make it knowne , How drinking of his healths , they lost their owne , I thinke , his Highnesse ●ustly would relieue them , And ( for Rewards ) to each a Halter giue them . But is 't not stran●● , that man so mad should be , Idolatrous ▪ bare-headed on his knee , Bow and fall downe vnto an absent Whore , As th' only Saint ( or deuill ) he doth adore ? But e're hee 'le kneele vnto his God , to craue For mercy , his infected soule to saue : Before hee 'le beg Gods pardon for his crimes , He sweares him ore and ore a hundred times , And takes it for a Gentlemanlike grace , To spit his venome 'gainst his Makers face , And with his Othes , as false as black is white , God dam him , or renounce , or sinke him quite : Refuse him ( or if not refuse ) for sake him , And now and then sweares , Then the Diuell take him . Thus he in ordinary talke affords , 'Mongst ( truth & lies ) more othes then other words , These are the bounteous youths I car● not for , And these I haue a heart that doth abhor . From a rich knaue of worshipfull degree , I haue a mind to spare my cap and knee : To a good man that 's honest , poore and wise , I haue a heart that my affection ties . Some sixteene times I on the Seas haue beene , In Spaine and Germany both out and in , At Cales , at Ostend , Prague , and ma●● a where , And yet I doe thanke God , C ham here , Cha● here . I haue a Wife which I was wont to praise , But that was in my yonger wooing dayes : And though shee 's neither Shrew nor Sheepe ( I vow With Iustice ) I cannot dispraise her now . She hath an Instrument ( that 's euer strung , To exercise my patience on ) her tongue . But past all question , and beyond all doubt , Shee 'l ne're infect my forehead with the Gout . A married man ( some say ) ha's two dayes gladnesse , And all his life else , is a lingring sadnesse : The one dayes mirth is when he first is married , The other 's when his wife 's to burying carried . One I haue had , should I the other see , It could not be a day of mirth to me . For I ( as many haue ) when I did woo , My selfe ( in tying fast ) did not vndoo : But I haue by my long experience found , I had beene vndone , had I not beene bound . I haue my bonds of marriage long enioy'd , And do not wish my obligation voyd . I haue a house where I doe eate and sleepe , But bread nor meat , or drinke in it ( I keepe . ) For many Lords , ●nd great men keepe good meate , But I spend mine , to make good fellowes eate . And though no Turrets doe my house bedeck , There one may breake his fast , before his neck . I haue a trade , much like an Al●umist , That ofttimes by extraction , if I list , With sweating labour at a woodden Ore , I le get the coyn'd refined siluer Ore. Which I count better then the sha●king tricks , Of cuz'ning Tradsmen , or rich Politikes , Or any proud foole , ne're so proud or wise , That doth my needefull honest trade despise . I haue some troubles , by the which I know , How flattring friends doe ebbe , and foes doe flow : Prosperity increaseth friendship much , But aduerse Fortune tries them with the tutch . By troubles , and by crosses I gaine wit , When dayly pleasures doe diminish it . Thus ( by his power that All-sufficient is ) I haue had time and power to write all this : And I haue hope that He the time will grant , That I may tell of some things that I want , The Motto of I haue is large and wide , Which largely heere , I could haue amply fide , For I haue Ioy , and Loue , and Comforts heere , And I haue folly , sorrow , doubt and feare ; I haue ( in part ) my frailty heere reueal'd , I haue some Vices which I haue conceal'd ▪ I haue done as I haue , then if I haue Bu● pleas'd my friends , I haue gain'd what I craue . Ye● my , I haue , as great is euery iot , And as small too as any mans haue not . Et Careo , I want . STrange is the penance of my humble Muse , That must tell what I want without excuse . What man ( without much torture ) would confesse His want , his beggery , and guiltinesse ; But that the World would thinke him to be mad , Or that he very small discretion had ? Yet ( at this time ) it is my fatall lor , To tell I want , what other men want not . And therefore to declare my wants most plaine I want a bragging or a boasting vaine ; In words or writing , any wayes to frame , To make my selfe seeme better then I am . I want faire vertue to direct my course , And stand against the shock of vices force ; And ( of my selfe ) I no way can resist , 'Gainst Hell , the World , the Flesh , or Antichrist ; For ought I know , I want a courage stout , Afflictions and temptations to keepe out : And I doe feare should time of triall come , My constancy would bide no Martyrdome . But to helpe what I want , I want despaire , And hope supplies my want in all my care . And as I want that bold-fac'd impudence , As may giue iust occasion of offence : So do I want base flattery with my pen , To sooth my selfe , or to taxe other men . I doe want goodnesse : for I cleerely see , All good I doe or say , is not from me . And amongst all the benefits I craue , Goodnesse I want , and goodnesse I would haue . A man may seeme too iust , too full of wit , But to be too good , neuer man was yet . He that is great , is not made good thereby , But he that 's good , is great continually . Thus great and good , together's rare and scant , Whilst I no greatnesse haue , all goodnesse want . I do want wit t' inuent ▪ conceiue and write , To moue my selfe or others to delight : But what a good wit is , I partly know , Which ( as I can ) I will define and show . Wit is the off-spring of a working braine , That will be labouring , though it be in vaine : 'T is call'd the Mother wit , by which I find , Shee 's of the bearing , breeding , femall-kind . And some haue of their mothers wit such store , That in their fathers wisedome they are poore . A good wit is a vertue that excells , And is the house where vnderstanding dwells : With whom the minde , the memory and sense , And reason keepe continuall residence : For why , if Reason chance to bee away , Wit , ( like a Colt ) breaks loose and runnes astray . There 's many that haue got their wealth by wit : But neuer wealth had power to purchase it . Rich fooles , and witty beggers euery where , Are the third part of Mankinde very neere . And little friendship doth blinde Fortune grant To me ; for wit and mony both I want . Yet for mine eares price I could vndertake To buy as much as would a Lybell make : Or I could haue as much , as fi●s these times With worthlesse Iests , or beastly scuruy Rimes ▪ To serue some Lord , and be a man of note , Or weare a garded vnregarded Coate . Wit for a foole I thinke enough I haue ; But I want wit to play the crafty knaue : And then the Prouerbe I should finely fit , In playing of the foole , for want of wit. To Archie ( at the Court ) I le make a iaunt , For he can teach me any thing I want , And he will teach me for a slender fee , A foolish knaue , or knauish foole to bee . Garret growes old and honest , and withall , His skill in knauish fooling is but small : The Knight o' th Sunne can caper , dance and leape ▪ And make a man small sport exceeding cheape In the old time a wiseman was a foole , That had compar'd himselfe with great Otoole : But his good dayes are past , hee 's downe the winde , In both his eyes and vnderstanding blinde . But holla holla Muse , come back againe , I was halfe rauisht with a fooling vaine : And , if I had gone forward with full speede , I 'de plaid the foole for want of wit indeede . As Frogs in muddy ditches vse to breede , So ther 's a wit that doth from Wine proceede : And some do whet their wits so much thereon , Till all the sharpenesse and the steele is gone ; With nothing left but back , the edge gone quite ▪ Like an old Cat , can neither scratch nor bite . The wit I want , I haue , y●t yeelds no profit , Because a foole hath still the keeping of it . Which had it in a Wisemans head beene planted , I should not now want what I long haue wanted ; I want that vndermining policy ; To purchase wealth with foule dishonesty : And I do want , and still shall want , I hope , Such actions as may well deserue a Rope . I want a mind , bad company to haunt , Which if I doe , it seemes I foresight wan● ▪ I want a Kingdome and a Crowne to weare , And with that want , I want a world of care : But might I be a King , I would refuse it , Because I doe want wisedome how to vse it . When an vnworthy man obtaines the same , Hee 's raiz'd to high preferment for his shame ▪ For why , the office of a King is such , And of such reuerence as I dare not tutch : Like to the Thunder , is his voice exprest , His Maiesty , as lightning from the East , And though he want the art of making breath , Hee 's like a Demy-god , of life and death . And as Kings ( before God ) are all but men , So before men , they all are gods agen . Hee 's a good King , whose vertues are approu'd , Fear'd for his Iustice , for his m●rcy lou'd : Who patternes all his Royall dignity , By the iust rule of Heauens high Maiesty , Who can distribute ( to good mens content ) Reward for vertue , vices punishment , Who loues a poore mans goodnesse , and doth hate All soule corruption in a man of State , Combin'd in loue with Princes neere and farre , Most affable in peace , powerfull in warre : And aboue all , religious , full of zeale , To guard the Church , & guide the Common weale . And though such Kings as this hath seldome beene ; Yet such a King as this I oft haue seene . And as I want a Regall power and fame , I want Reuenues to maintaine the same : I thinke a King that 's made of Ginger-bread His Subiects would obey him with more dread : And any knaue that could but kisse his Claw , And make a leg , would make me but Iack-Daw . And as the Swallow all the Summer stayes , And when the winter comes , hee flyes his wayes : So flatterers would adore my happinesse , And take their flight , and leaue me in distresse . To praise my vices , all the swarme of them Would flocke , and all my vertues would condemne . Much worse then Rauens is their flattery , For Rauens eate not men vntill they dye : But so a flatt'ring knaue may get and thriue , Hee dayly will deuoure a man aliue . Besides , the body only feeds the Fowle : But flattery oft consumes both body and soule . For like to trencher-Flies they euer proue , Who still wait more for lucre then for loue . Thus , though I want a Kingly power Royall , 'T is 'gainst my wil to want will to be loyall . And if that any King aliue there bee That willingly would change estates with mee , I in my bargaine should haue gold for brasse , And hee would bee accounted but an Asse . For any Kings estate , bee 't ne're so bad , To change it with Iohn Taylor , were starke mad , A King of Clubs keepes subiects in more awe : For he commands his Knaue ( except at Maw ) A King of Spades hath more wit in his pate , To delue into the secrets of his state : The King of Diamonds is too rich and wise , To change his pleasures for my miseries . And for the King of Hearts , hee 's so belou'd , That to exchange with me , hee 'le ne're be mou'd , For I am full of feares and dangerous doubts , And poorer farre then is a King of Clouts : I therefore will a Subiect still remaine , And learne to serue that am vnfit to reigne . I want ten millions of good coyned gold , And with that want , want troubles manifold : But if I had so much , what man can tell , But that I should want grace to vse it well ? Within the walles and skirts of Troynouant , Many that haue most goods , most goodnesse want : For Charity and Riches seldome can Haue both possession in a wealthy man. Fooles that are rich with multitudes of Pieces , Are like poore simple sheepe with golden fleeces ; A knaue , that for his wealth doth worship get , Is like the Diuell that is a cock-horse set . For money hath his nature in it still , Slaue to the goodman , master to the ill . The Couetous amidst his store is poore , The minde content is rich , and seekes no more . Who couets most , hath least ; who couets least , Hath most ; for why , sufficient is a feast . Wealth vnto mischiefes might my minde inchant , And therefore 't is much good for me I want . I want a Sonne and Heyre , and I perceiue , That he no portion could from me receiue ; Vnlesse I could bequeath him Poetry , To adde more pouerty to pouerty : But as I doe want Children , I want care , And Iealousie , in which some Fathers are : For many of them rake and toyle ( God wot ) To gather wealth for Heyres they ne're begot : And run to Hell ( through mischiefes ) greedily For other mens misgotten Bastardy . The greatest females vnderneath the skye , Are but fraile vessels of mortality : And if that Grace and Ver●ue be away , Ther 's Honour's shame , and Chastitie's decay . For , if inconstancie doth keepe the dore , Lust enters , and my Lady proues a Whore : And so a Bastard to the World may come , Perhaps begotten by some stable Groome ; Whom the fork-headed , her cornuted Knight May play and dandle with , with great delight , And thus by one base misbegotten sonne , Gentility in a wrong line may run : And thus foule lust to worship may prefer The mungrell Issue of a Fruterer , Or yeoman of the Bottles it may bee , Or some vnmannerd rascall worse then hee , And though the Stripling vp in yeares doth grow , He shall want wit his father how to know : But hee shall know one that will father him , And with good bringing vp maintaine him trim : And loues him with affection , as he were His owne most naturall Primogeniter . The old Knight dyes and freely giues him all , And he being growne a Gallant faire and tall , If with his cursed wealth hee purchase can , To wed the Daughter of some Nobleman , And being thus ennobled much thereby , Through his Alliance with Nobility ; Hee may in time possesse an honour'd state , Which God doth curse , and all good people hate : Then shall bee search'd , if possible it be , Before Cains birth , to finde his Petigree : Then is some famous coate of Armes contriu'd , From many worthy families deriu'd . And thus may Lust & Wealth raise many a Clowne , To Reputation , and to high Renowne . Thus many good men are deceiu'd ( perhaps ) In bowing of their knees , and doffing Caps , And courteously commit Idolatry , To a proud branch of Lust and Lechery . For my part , I want meanes to gull men so , I may be gull'd with others goodly show . If any finde my Children meate or cloth , I got them in my sleepe , I le take mine oth , I cannot be deceiued in my Heyres , As some that are my betters may in theirs , And as no Bastards my free minde perplexeth , So I want Iealousie which some men vexeth . Should thousand such as Hercules combine , T' inspire with Iealousie this brest of mine ; Nor all the Goatish foule luxurious brood , Could not possesse me with that frantike mood● , Shee that I haue I know her continence , And shee as well doth know my confidence ; Any yet , for ought you know , both she and I May want both honesty and Iealousie : Though of our selues our knowledge is but small ; Yet somewhat we doe know , and God knowes all . The man , whose wife will be a whore indeed , His Iealousie stands but in little steed : Nor can bolts , locks or walls of brasse suffice Briareus hundred hands nor Argos eyes ; Nor all the wit in man or Diuels pate , Can alter any mans allotted fate : For if a Woman be to lewdnesse giuen , And is not guided with the grace of Heauen ; Shee will finde opportunity and time , In spight of watch or ward to doe the Crime : But if she bee with heauenly blessings grac't , As outward beautifull , and inward chaste ; Then may foule iealousie and false suspition Against her nature alter her condition , From good to bad , from bad to naught , and worse , And turne her vertues to a vicious course . For nothing can an honest minde infect , So soone as Iealousie and false suspect : And this foule Furie many times hath wrought ▪ To make the bad worse , and the good stark naught : But neuer yet by it ( as I could heare ) The good or bad , one iot the better were : And therefore be my wife , or good , or ill , I Iealousie doe want , and want it will. I want dissimulation to appeare , A friend to those , to whom I hatred beare : I want the knowledge of the thriuing Art ▪ A holy outside and a hollow heart : But as I am , the same I le euer seeme , Not worse , or better , in mine owne esteeme , For what attire so e're my corps doth hide , Or whether I doe goe on foote or ride : Or were I with the Kings high fauour grac'd , Or at a great Lords boord , at dinner plac'd , And should I haue all this , I were no more But a poore Waterman , that at his Oare Doth ( for a liuing ) labour , tug , and pull , And carries both the Gallant and the gull . How euer others doe esteeme of me , Yet as I am , I know my selfe to be . If I doe chance to be in company , Well welcom'd , amongst true Gentility , I know in them it is a courteous part , And that in me it can be no desert . I want that high esteemed excellence Of fustian , or mockado Eloquence : To flourish o're , or bumbast ▪ out my stile , To make such as not vnderstand me smile ; Yet I with Non-sense could contingerate , With Catophiscoes Terragrophicate , And make my selfe admir'd immediately , Of such as vnderstand no more then I. Besides , I want the knowledge and the skill , How these my lines may passe now well or ill : For as a learned Poet lately writ With a comparison , comparing fit Mens writings and inuentions like to Cheese , Which with some stomacks very well agrees ; Some loue it , and some cannot well disgest it , Some care not for it , and some quite detest it : And so my lines to sundry hands may come , Some pleasing , and displeasing vnto some . One likes it well , and very well commends it , A second sweares 't is naught , and madly rends it , A third cries mew , and scrues his iawes awry , And in a scornefull humour layes it by : Thus some like all , some somwhat , & some nothing . And one mans liking is anothers loathing . I want hope to please all men where I come , I want despaire , and hope I shall please some ; I want ingratitude to friends , I want A willing mind , ( what 's written ) to recant : I want 'gainst any man peculiar spite , I want a selfe-loue vnto what I write : I want some friends that would my want supply , I want some foes that would my patience trye . If all things that I want I here should tell , To a large volume then my booke would swell ; For though my selfe my wants doe boldly beare , My wants of such great waight , and number are , That sure the burden of the things I want , Would breake the backe of any Elephant . Et Curo . I Care. I Care to thinke vpon the Theame I write , For Care is carefull , yeelding no delight : And though Care flowes like a continuall stream , Yet Care is but a very barren Theame . Vpon I care not , my swift Muse could iog , Like to an Irish Lackey o're a bog ; But my poore wit must worke vpon I care , Which is a subiect ( like my wit ) most bare . I care to keepe my wife in that degree As that she alwayes might my equall be : And I doe care , and at all times endeuer , That she to haue the mastership shall neuer . I Care , and so must all that mortall are ; For from our births , vnto our graues , our care Attends on vs , in number like our sinnes , And sticks vnto vs close , as is our skins : For the true Anagram of * Care is Race , Which shewes , that whilst we on the earth haue place , So many miseries doe vs insnare , That all our life is but a Race of Care ; And when I call my life vnto account , To such great numbers doe my Cares amount , That Cares on Cares my mind so much doe lade , As I of ( nothing else but ) Cares were made . When I conceiue I am besieged round , With enemies that would my soule confound , As is the Flesh , the World and ghostly Fiends , How ( seuerally ) their force or flattery bends , To driue me to Presumption or despaire , T' auoid temptations I am full of care . When I consider what my God hath done For me , and how his grace I daily shun : And how my sinnes ( for ought I know ) are more Then Stars in skye , or Sands vpon the shore , Or wither'd leaues that Autumne tumbles downe , And that sinnes leprosie hath ouergrowne My miserable selfe from head to heele , Then hopefull feares , and fe●refull cares I feele . When I doe see a man that conscience makes Of what he speakes , or doth , or vndertakes ; That neither will dissemble , lye , or sweare , To haue the loue of such a man I care . I care when I doe see a Prodigall ( On whom a faire estate did lately fall ) When as is spent his credit and his chink , And he quite wasted to a snuffe doth stink , Who in the Spring , or Summer of his Pride , Was worship'd , honor'd , almost deifi'd : And ( whilst the golden Angels did attend him ) What swarms of friends , and kindred did befriend him Perswading him , that giue , & spend , & lend , Were vertues which on Gentry doe depend . When such a fellow falne to misery , I see forsaken and in beggery , Then for some worthy friends of mine I care . That they by such examples would beware . A foole is he who giues ( himselfe t' impaire ) And wise is he who giues what he may spare : But those that haue too much , and nothing giue , Are slaues of Hell , and pitty t' is they liue . But as the prodigall doth vainely spend , As though his ill sprung well-spring , ne're would end , Yet in his pouerty he 's better much , Then a hard hearted miserable Clutch ; Because the Prodigall lets mony flie , That many people gaine and get thereby . A Prodigal 's a Common-wealths man still , To haue his wealth all common t is his will , And when he wants , he wants what he hath not , But misers want what they both haue , and got . For though man from the teate hath weaned bin , Yet still our infancy we all are in , And frō our birth , til death our liues doth smother All men doe liue be sucking one another . A King with Clemency and Royalty , Doth sucke his Subiects loue and loyalty : But as the Sea sucks in the Riuers goods , And Riuers backe againe , sucke in the floods , So good Kings , and true Subiects , alwayes proue To sucke from each , protection , feare , and loue . All Clients whatsoe're , are Lawyers nurses , And many times they doe sucke dry their purses , But though the Lawyer seemes in wealth to swim , Yet many great occasions doe sucke him . The Prodigals estate , like to a flux , The Mercer , Draper , and the Silkman sucks : The Taylor , Millainer , Dogs , Drabs and Dice , Trey-trip , or Passage , or The most at thrice ; At Irish , Tick-tack , Doublets , Draughts or Chesse , He flings his money free with carelessenesse : At Nouum , Mumchance , mischance , ( chuse ye which At One and thirty , or at Poore and rich , Ruffe , slam , Trump , nody , whisk , hole , Sant , Newcut . Vnto the keeping of foure Knaues he 'le put His whole estate , at Loadum , or at Gleeke At Tickle-me-quickly , he 's a merry Greeke , At Primefisto , Post and payre , Primero , Maw , Whip-her-ginny , he●s a lib'rall Hero ; At My-sow-pigg'd , and ( Reader neuer doubt ye , He 's skil'd in all games , except ) Looke about ye . Bowles , shoue-groate , tennis , no game comes amis , His purse a nurse for any body is ; Caroches , Coaches , and Tobacconists , All sorts of people freely from his fists His vaine expences daily sucke and soake , And his himselfe sucks onely drinke and smoake , And thus the Prodigall , himselfe alone , Giues suck to thousands , and himselfe sucks none . But for the miser , he is such an euill , He sucks all , yet giues none suck but the Deuill : And both of them such cursed members are , That to be neither of them both I care . Thus young , old , all estates , men , maids , & wiues , Doe suck from one another , all their liues ; And we are neuer wean'd from sucking thus , Vntill we dye , and then the wormes sucke vs. I care when I want money where to borrow , And when I haue it then begins new sorrow : For the right Anagram of woe is owe. And he 's in woe that is in debt I know : For as I car'd before to come in debt , So being in , my care is out to get . Thus being in or out , or out or in , Where one care ends , another doth begin . I care to keepe me from the Serieants mace , Or from a barbrous Baylifs rough embrace : Or from a Marshals man that mercy lacks , That liues a cursed life by poore mens wracks , From Serieants that are Saracens by kind , From Baylifs ●hat are worse then Beares in mind : And from a Marshals monsters trap or snare , To keepe me from such knaues as those I care . A Pander ( Hostler-like ) that walks a whore , And for a fee , securely keeps the doore , A Punck that will with any body doe , And giue the pox in to the bargaine too : A rotten stinking Baud , that for her crimes , Stewd in a sweat hath beene some fifteene times , A Drunkard , that delights to curse and sweare , To shun such company as those I care . I care to please ▪ and serue my Masters will , And he with care commands not what is ill . I care to haue them hang'd that carelesse be , Or false vnto so good a Lord as he . I care for all Religions that are hurld And scatter'd o're the vniuersall world : I care to keepe that which is sound and sure , Which euer and for euer shall endure . I care t' auoid all Sects and errors foule That to confusion hath drawne many a soule . For be a man , a Heathen , Turke or Iew , With care his miserable state I rue , That he should haue sense , reason , life and limb , Yet will not know that God that gaue them him . And can a Christian thinke vpon these things , But it his heart with care and pitty wrings ? That three parts of the world , the grace doth shun Of their Creator , and his sauing Sonne . And as the Christians few in number be , Yet how they in Religions disagree , Kings , subiects , parents , children much diuided , By hell misguided , and by Turks derided . And can a Christian thinke how these things are , But that his heart must be possest with Care ? I would all Princes that doe Christ professe , And hope through him for endlesse happinesse , Their quarrels to each other to lay by , And ioyne against the common enemy , Who like a tempest oftentimes hath come , Aduancing Mahomet in Christendome . If Christian Kings this way would all prepare , For such a glorious warre as this I care . And here ( for mirths sake ) some few lines are made In the behalfe of me , and of my trade : But honest Reader be not angry tho They looke like verses I wrote long agoe , But they by many men were neuer seene , And therefore fit to publish them I weene . I that in quiet in the dayes of yore , Did get my liuing at the healthfull Oare , And with content , did liue , and sweat and row , Where like the tyde , my purse did ebbe and flow , My fare was good , I thanke my bounteous fares , And pleasure made me carelesse of my cares . The watry Element most plentifull , Supplide me daily with the Oare and Scull , And what the water yeelded , I with mirth , Did spend vpon the Element of earth . Vntill at last a strange Poetique veine , As strange a way possest my working braine : It chanc'd one euening , on a reedy banke , The Muses sa●e together in a ranke : Whilst in my boate I did by water wander , Repeating lines of Hero and Leander , The Triple three tooke great delight in that , Cal'd me a shore , and caus'd me sit and chat , And in the end when all our talke was done , They gaue to me a draught of Helicon , Which prou'd to me a blessing and a curse , To fill my pate with verse , and empt my purse . By their poore gift I haue experience found What 's fit to be reprou'd , and what renownd : And that a Waterman a member is , Which neither King nor Common-wealth can misse , Yet we could well misse some that are too bad , If better in their roomes were to be had : But though abundance of them I could spare , T is onely for the honest trade I care . Some say we carry whores and theeues , t is true , I le carry those that sayd so for my due : Our boates , like hackney horses , euery day , Will carry honest men and knaues , for pay , We haue examples for it most diuine , The Sunne vpon both good and bad doth shine ▪ Vpon the dunghill and vpon the rose , Vpon Gods seruants and vpon his foes : The wind , the raine , the earth , all creatures still , Indifferently doe serue both good and ill . All tradesmen sell their ware continually , To whores , or knaues , or any that will buy . They ne're examine people what they are . No more can we , when we transport a fare . Sapho a Poetresse , a Lady fam'd , Did wed a Waterman was Phaon nam'd : Eyght Kings ( with Oares ) as histories doe show , King Edgar to his Parliament did row . And when the waters all the world o're ran , Old Noah was the onely waterman . I care what quantity of this same stuffe I write , for I may doe much , or not enuffe , To end it therefore I will haue a Care , And shew the Watermans briefe * Character . First , though he be not of the female kind , Yet he 's most like vnto a Whore I find : For both , the more vnready that they be , Both are most ready for their trade we see , The Watermen in shirts , and Whores in smocks , Both strip and fall to worke , t' increase their stocks . Besides , a Waterman is much ingratefull , ( And yet is his ingratitude not hatefull ) For ( vnder God ) the Riuer Thamesis , His chiefest friend , and best maintainer is , It feeds and fils him , giues him dayly treasure , And he ( to crosse that Friend ) takes paines with pleasure Mine own vnkindnes I haue oft exprest , For when I cros● it most , it pleas'd me best . And as an Hypocrite speakes fairest when He most deceiues , so we poore Watermen , Goe backward when we doe goe forward still , And forward , we goe backward with good will. Thus looking one way , and another rowing , With forward backward , backward forward going To get my liuing I haue thought it meet , Much like a Weauer with both hands and feet , Or like a Ropemaker , I in my trade Haue many hundred times run retrograde ; But though the Ropemaker doe backward goe , Yet is his worke before his face we know ; And all the voyages I vndertake My businesse still hath bin behind my backe . But ( in a word ) let things be as they are , Those whom I carry , to land safe , I care . When I doe stand my labour to apply I neither vse to call , or yall , or cry , Or thrust ▪ or shoue , or rake , or hale , or pull The Gentleman , or gentleman-like Gull , A mayd , a wife , a widow , or a trull . Be he the greatest swearer on the earth , Or the most dang'rous theefe that ere had birth , Be he or they as bad , or worse , or worst , Then any that of God or man are curst : Yet ( if it be their lots to be my fare ) To carry them and land them well I care , For why ? should I through carelesse negligence , Drowne but a Rascall by improuidence , In me it were an action most vntrue , For robbing of the hangman of his due . And be a veluet villaine ne're so braue , A siluer , silken , or a Satin slaue : And that I know , and doe esteeme him so , Yet with great care his Rogueship will I row , Because I would not wrong the curteous Riuer , With the base corps of such a wicked liuer ; I haue a care to looke about me round , That he may liue and hang , and not be drownd . I take great care how I might Cares auoid , And to that end I haue my Cares imploid : For long a goe I doe remember that There was a Prouerb , Care will kill a Cat. And it is sayd a Cat 's a wondrous beast , And that she hath in her nine liues at least , And sure if any Cat this care could shun , It was the famous Cat of Whittington , For whom was giu'n a ship rich fraught with ware And for a lucky Pusse like that I care . But if Care of such potent power be , To kill nine liues , it may kill one in me ; And therefore it behoues me to beware , That though I care , not to be kild with care . I care , and in my care take great delight , ( When by a Watch I doe passe late at night ) Such answers to the Constable to shape , As by good words I may the Compter scape . My serious Cares and Considerations . T' Is said the age of man is seuenty yeares , If eighty , it is full of griefe and Cares , And if we of our time account should keepe , How halfe our liues we doe consume in sleepe , And for the waking halfe , account that too , How little seruice to our God we doe : For till seuen yeares be past and gone away , We are vncapable to doe or pray . Our * Adolescency till our manly growth , We wast in vanitie and tricks of youth , And as we trauell to our iorneyes end , The more we liue the more we doe offend . In sixty yeares three thousand Sabba●hs be , Which are some eight yeares in account we see , But of those Sundayes let vs thinke agen , How little seruice God hath had of men , And to the holiest man it will appeare , About one hundred houres in a yeare . And so in threescore yeares God hath not one , Wherein his seruice we attend vpon . And if that ( lesse thē one ) t' account were brought , How many a nap , and many a wauering thought , And wandring fancies doe vs round beset , ( That many times the text we doe forget ? ) Thinke but of this , and then the yeare before Must be abated halfe , or somewhat more . Thus many a Christian sixty yeares hath trod The earth , and not sixe months hath seru'd his God. When we our liues vnequally thus share , In thinking ●f it , I am full of care . I care in all my actions so to liue , That no occasion of offence I giue To any man , with either pen or tongue , In name , or fame , or goods , to doe them wrong . For he 's the greatest murderer aliue , That doth a man of his good name depriue With base columnious slanders and false lies , T is the worst villainy of villanes : To blast a good mans name with scandals breath , Makes his dishonor long suruiue his death : For Infamie's a colour dyde in graine , Which scarce obliuion can wash out againe . As nothing's dearer then a mans good name , So nothing wounds more deeper then defame . Nature gaue man a paire of eares and eyes , And but one tongue , which certainly implies , That though our sight and hearing still is free , Yet must we not speake all we heare or see , Then he 's a Viper that doth lyes inuent , To worke thereby anothers detriment , 'T is sinne to slander a notorious Knaue , But sinne and shame a good man to depraue : Thus good or bad , or whatsoe're they are , To doe to neither of them wrong I care . I care to get good Bookes , and I take heed , And care what I doe either write or read : Though some through ignorance , & some throgh spite Haue said that I can neither read nor write . But though my lines no scholership proclaime , Ye● I at learning haue a kind of ayme . And I haue gatherd much good obseruations , From many humane and diuine translations . I was well entred ( forty Winters since ) As farre as possum in my Accidence ; And reading but from ●ossu● to posset , There I was mir'de , and could no further get , Which when I thinke vpon ( with mind deiected ) I care to thinke how learning I neglect●d . The Poet * Quid , ( or Ouid if you will ) Being in English , much hath helpt my skill : And Homer too , and Virgil I haue seene , And reading them I haue much better'd beene . Godfrey of Bulloyne , well by Fairfax done , Du Bartas , that much loue hath rightly wonne : Old Chaucer , Si●ney , Spencer , Daniel , Nash , I dipt my finger where they vs'd to wash . As I haue read these Poets , I haue noted Much good , which in my memory is quoted . Of Histories I haue perusde some store , As no man of my function hath done more . The Golden legend , I did ouer tosse , And found the Gold mixt with a deale of drosse . I haue read Plutarchs Morals and his Liues , And like a Bee , suckt Hony from those Hiues . Iosephus of the Iewes , Knowles of the Turks , Marcus Aurclius , and Gueuara's works : Lloyd , Grimstone , Montaigne , and Suetonius , Agrippa , ( whom some call Cornelius . ) Graue Seneca , and Cambden , Purchas , Speed , Old Monumentall Fox , and Hollinshead : And that sole Booke of Bookes which God hath giuen ( The blest eternall Testaments of heauen ) That I haue read , and I with care confesse , My selfe vnworthy of such happinesse . And many more good Bookes I haue with care Lookt on their goods , and neuer stole their ware , For no booke to my hands could euer come , If it were but the treat●se of Tom Thumb , Or Scoggins Iests , or any simple play , Or monstrous newes came Trundling in my way . All these , and ten times more , some good , some bad I haue from them much obseruation had . And so with care and study I haue writ These bookes , the issue of a barren wit. The most of them are verse , but I suppose It is much ease to name them here in prose . The names of many of the bookes that I haue written . First , the Sculler . Vpon Coriat three merry bookes , called , Odcombs complaint , Coriats resurrection , and Laugh and be fat . The nipping or snipping of Abuses . Two mad things against Fenor . Taylors Vrania . The marriage of the Princesse . An Elegy on Prince Henry . Two bookes of all the Kings of England . Three weekes , three dayes , and three houres obseruations in Germany . Trauels to Scotland . Trauels to Prague in Bohemia . An Englishmans loue to Bohemia . The Bible in verse . The Booke of Martyrs in verse . The praise of Hempseed . A kicksy winsy . The great O Toole . Iack a Lent. The praise of Beggery . Tayl●rs Goose. Faire and foule weather . The life and death of the Virgin Mary . The Whip of Pride . And lastly ( since the reigne of th' Emperour * OTTO ) Was neuer seene the like of TAYLORS MOTTO . All these , and some which I haue quite forgot , With care ( as is aforesaid ) I haue wrote . I care how to conclude this carefull straine : In care I care how to get out againe : I care for food and lodging , fire and rayment , And ( what I owe ) I care , to make good payment . But most of all , I care , and will endeuer To liue so carefull that I may liue euer . Thus without wronging any man a iot , I shew I haue what euery man hath not : My wants are such , that I forgiue them free , That would but steale the most of them from me . My cares are many , as I here expresse , Poore cousin Germans vnto carelessenesse . I haue a knowledge some men will read this , I want the knowledge how their liking is . I care in all that I herein haue pend , To please the good , and shew the bad to mend . And those that will not thus be satisfide , I haue a spirit that doth them deride . I flattry want mens likings to obtaine , I care to loue those tha● lo●e me againe . Thus be mens ●udgements steady or vnsteady To like my Booke , the ●are is tane already . The Prouerb sayes , that hast makes ( often ) wast , Then wha● is wast , imp●te it to my hast : This Booke was written ( not that here I boast ) Put houres together , in three dayes at most : And giue me but my breakfast , I le maintaine , To write another e're I eate againe . But well or ill , or howsoe're t is pen'd , L●k't as you list , and so I make an END . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13505-e70 * Sil●●sters nagram ● His I●j●sties ●ame , in ●u Bar●as . Notes for div A13505-e950 〈…〉 I should beleeue all were Gold that glisters . In my English Latine Richard Swary , I finde or coynd this worthy word . The Heralds of this Office dwell at Nullibi . * Le●rned 〈◊〉 l●ds 〈◊〉 that 〈◊〉 ●omes neere Curro . Some 6 or 8. lines are old of mine owne ●ut I haue 〈◊〉 vari●d ●hem . Shall Gods gifts bee common to good & bad , and our boats be priuate onely to the good ? * The character of a Watermā . Thames a watermans best friend , whom hee delights to crosse . * Strange Eloquence * Bookes that I haue read of Poesie . Part of the Bookes of History that I haue read . * I was m●ch beholding to this Emperors name to make vp the meeter . 
A13509	----	Taylor on Thame Isis: or The description of the tvvo famous riuers of Thame and Isis, who being conioyned or combined together, are called Thamisis, or Thames With all the flats, shoares, shelues, sands, weares, stops, riuers, brooks, bournes, streames, rills, riuolets, streamelets, creeks, and whatsoeuer helps the said riuers haue, from their springs or heads, to their falls into the ocean. As also a discouery of the hinderances which doe impeache the passage of boats and barges, betwixt the famous Vniuersity of Oxford, and the city of London. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1632 Approx. 33 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 15 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13509 STC 23803 ESTC S118291 99853498 99853498 18882 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13509) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18882) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:26) Taylor on Thame Isis: or The description of the tvvo famous riuers of Thame and Isis, who being conioyned or combined together, are called Thamisis, or Thames With all the flats, shoares, shelues, sands, weares, stops, riuers, brooks, bournes, streames, rills, riuolets, streamelets, creeks, and whatsoeuer helps the said riuers haue, from their springs or heads, to their falls into the ocean. As also a discouery of the hinderances which doe impeache the passage of boats and barges, betwixt the famous Vniuersity of Oxford, and the city of London. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [28] p. Printed by Iohn Hauiland, London : 1632. Dedication signed: Iohn Taylor. In verse. Signatures: A-B (-A1, B8). Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Cropped at fore-edge; right end of title page lightly printed. 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Isis River (England) -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-08 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-09 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2002-09 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion TAYLOR on Thame Isis ▪ OR THE DESCRIPTION OF THE TWO FAmous Riuers of Thame and Isis ▪ who being conioyned or combined together , are called Thamisis , or Thames . With all the Flats , Shoares , Shelues , San●● , Weares , Stops , , Riuers , Brooks , ●ournes Streames , Rills , Riuolets , Streamelets , Cree●● and whatsoeuer helps the said Riuers haue , from their springs , or heads , to their falls into the Ocean . As also a discouery of the hinderances which 〈…〉 e impeach the passage of Boats and Barges betwixt the famous Vniversity of Oxford , and City of London . LONDON , P 〈…〉 d by Iohn Haui 〈…〉 . 163● TO The Right Honourable Lords , THOMAS Earle of Arundell and Surrey , Earle Marshall of England : EDWARD Lord Viscount Wimbleton : Henry Lord Viscount Fawlkland : and Sir Thomas Edmonds , Knight , Treasurer of the Kings Houshold : Lords of his Maiesties most Honourable Priuy Councell , and Commissioners for the Nauigation and fishing of the famous Riuers of Thames and Medway . RIght Noble Lords , with sorrow I beheld , That which to write my duty hath compel'd , And ( from my pen ) the Thames flow'd to the presse , From thence it ebbes to you to finde redresse . My Honourable Lord of Dorchester , He truly noted in particular , Dame Isis wrongs , and Thames great injuries , For they were sad perspectiues to his eyes , And had his Lordship liu'd his meaning was To make the Riuer passable , to passe . For then with noble care and deligence He view'dthe helps , and the impediments , Which aid , or hinder passage vp and downe , Twixt Oxford City , and braue Winds●…r towne ; Yet as I sometimes row'd and sometimes st●…r'd , I view'd wh●…e well , where ill the way appeard ; And here I haue des●…rib'd the way we went , Commixing truth with honest merriment , My th●…ed-bare wit a mad wooll gathering goes , To shew the things in verse I saw in prose ; And ( Honourable Pe●…res ) I humbly craue , My artless●… lines may your acceptance haue , Wis●…ing each fault remou'd ( which st●…nds vnfi●… ) As soone as you can reade what I haue writ , Desiring God to giue y●…u high content Here , and here f●…er glory permanent . Humbly deuoted with his best endeuouts to all your Honourable personag●…s , IOHN TAYLOR . TO The memory of the truly Noble deceased DVDLEY CARLETON , Lord Viscount Dorchester , principall Secretary of State to his Maiestie of GREAT BRITAINE . IF He be blest that is of Noble bloud , And being made great , is both great and good , Who is a Christian euery way compleat , Who holds it better to be good than great , Whose life was guided with good Conscience , Whose end was sauing faith and penitence , These blessings Noble Dorchester were thine , And these haue made thee ' Immortall and diuine . To any Body . I That ne're tasted the Castalian fount , Or came in ken of the Thessalian Mount ; I that could ne're attaine to wet my lips , With Tempes liquour , or sweet Aga●…pps , Who neuer yet haue so much fauour won , To purchase one carrowse from Helicon , Who with good Poets dare compare no way But one , which is in being poore as they ; And hauing neuer seene the Muses hill , Am plentifully stor'd with want of skill , Then Fount , or Mount , nor sacred trebl●… trine , Are no assistants in this worke of mine : But ancient Isis current chrystall spring Inspires my braine , and I her praises sing , And Tame with Isis joynes his pearely streames , Whose combination are my ampletheames ; Though ( for the most part ) in the tracts I tread , Of learned Camden , Speed , and Hollinshead , And Draytons painfull Polyolbyon , Whose fame shall liue , despight obliuion , These are the guides I follow , with pretence T'abbreuiate and extract their Quint-essence ; Nor can it be to them disparagement , That I come after in the wayes they went , For they of former writers followers be , I follow them , and some may follow me ; And man to man a President is made In Art or Science , mysterie or Trade , As they before these Riuers bounds did show , Here I come after with my Pen and row . TAYLOR ON THAME ISIS . OVr patron Phoebus , whose sweet influence , Doth quicken all our reason , life and sense , T is he makes grasse to grow , & Riuers sprin● He makes both my songs , subiect , and me sin● His beames the waters doe extenuate To vapours , and those vapours eleuate Into the middle Region , where they tumble , And melt , and then descend and are made humble , Moystning the face of many a spacious hill , Where soaking deepe the hollow vaults they fill , Where into Riuers they againe breake out , So nature in a circle runnes about . Large Downes doe treasure vp great store of raine , Whose bowels vent it in the vales againe : No place in England could a treasure keepe , Thames to maintaine , but Coteswould ( queene of sheepe In Glostershire ( my dearest motherearth ) From whose faire City I deriue my birth , Are Coteswould hills , and in the farthest cliffe Of all those hils of Isis head is chiefe : Schollers from Gloster that to Oxford ride The truth of my assertion oft haue tride ; On their right hand neare Cubberley they passe , Two Wells as sweet as milke , as cleare as glasse , Whence Isis first doth pedegree deriue , Those two are able there two mills to driue . At Burton on the water , south from Stow Vpon the Would , great vaines of waters flow To Burford , and to Witney , and along Till they make meadowes large , and Isis strong . The famous Riuer Isis hath her spring Neare Tetbury , and downe along doth bring As hand-maids ) to attend her progresse , Churne , Colne , Windrush , Yenload , Leech , whose windings turne , And Meads , and Pastures trims , bedecks , and dresses , Like an vnvaluable chaine of ESSES . After releefe of many a Ducke and Goose , At Saint Iohns bridge they make their rendeuous , And there like robbers crossing London way , Bid many a bare-foot Welshman wade or stay . Close vnder Oxford one of Englands eyes , Chiefe of the chiefest Vniuersities , From Banbury desirous to adde knowledge To zeale , and to be taught in Magdalen College , The Riuer Charwell doth to Isis runne , And beares her company to Abington , Whil'st very neare that towne on Barkshire side , The Riuer Ock doth into Isis glide ; These fountaines and fish-breeding Riuolets , ( The Countries nurses , nourishers , and teats , ) Attend Dame Isis downe to Dorchester , Neare which her louely Tame doth meet with her , There Tame his Isis doth embrace and kisse , Both joyn'd in one , cal'd Tame or Tame Isis , Isis like Salmacis becomes with Tame Hermaphrodite in nature and in name . Tame doth deriue his Spring or Pedegree Neare Mesworth in the vale of Aylsbury , From whence he many miles with strange meanders , To finde his lovely Isis slowly wanders , Through fertile lands a quiet course he keepes , Till Southward vnder Whately bridge he creepes , And ( like a Pilgrim ) trauels all alone , No Brooke or Riuer waiting him vpon , Onely three namelesse Riuolets and two springs , Which very priuately their tribute brings , Bewailing Isis absence , and his fate , Poore Tame all heauie and disconsolate , ●…nnauigable , scorn'd , despis'd , disgrac'd , ●…auing in vaine so many paces pac'd ; ●…espairing and quite desperate with these harmes , ●…e hurles himselfe vnwares in Isis armes ; ●…or closer can the barke be to the tree , ●…han their infoldings and embracings be ; ●…hey rise and fall together , and they are ●…n want and plenty to haue equall share ; ●…d Tame with Isis will be both one riuer , ●…ill in the Oc●…n they their names deliuer . ●…t Wallingford and Pangbourne , two small ri●…s , ●…heir homages to Thamisis instils . ●…he more the riuer runnes , the more t is spreading , ●…ill in it's course it falls as low as Reading , ●…here Kennet kindly comes with force and source , ●…o aid and helpe Thamisis in their course . ●…he head of Kennet is neare Ramsbury , ●…assing to Hungerford by Newbury . ●…he ●…iner Anborne out of Hampshire ●…ies , ●…o Kennet with some namelesse small supplies ●…f pe●…ic rills , which passing here and there , ●…ho to repeat , teadious and needlesse were . ●…o Sunning and by Bisham Thames descends ●…o Marlow ( called great ) from whence it wends ; ●…hereas a little rill from Wickham towne , ●…o wait vpon the Thames comes gliding downe ; Then pleasantly the riuer takes free way To Topley hills , by Maidenhead and Bray , Till it to Windsor and to Stanes doth win , And there the riuer Colne comes gliding in : Colne hath its head or spring in Hartfordshire , At Abbots Langley , or else very neere , With some small petty rils and riuolets , By Colbrooke vnto Stanes and Thames it gets , The riuer Wey , with diuers namelesse springs Neare Chertsey , vnto Thames their seruice brings . Wey ( beyond Guilford ) help'd with creeks and crooks , At last at Oatlands towards Sunbury lookes , And there a little rill , ( scarce worth a line ) In Middlesex doth with the Thames combine . Neare Reygate towne the riuer Mole is found , Bearing its course , runs ( Mole-like ) vnder ground ; But rising vp by Notbury againe , At Molsey it the Thames doth entertaine . From Ewell towne the riuer Brent makes haste , Who by the Thames is louingly embrac'd : Next which is Chiswicke towne , and Hammersmith , It entertaines a rill , or little frith , And after that below , neare Wandsworth mill , Comes in another ●…rooke or namelesse rill ; Thus I the riuer bring ; and it brings me From their first springs to London bridge you see . Now from the bridge below descend I must , Till Thames it selfe doth in the Ocean thrust , And if my paines to good men proue a pleasure , My gaine 's beyond my merit , beyond measure , Of Watermen , men scarce can finde a Slower , Yet hey , to Grauesend hoe and somewhat lower . Braue London Bridge claimes right preheminence For strength , and Architects magnificence , To be true None-such , for no eye beheld A bridge which it each way hath paralleld . The arches ( Tame and Isis ) shadie bowres , Through which both East and West in twice twelue houres Twice Neptune greets it flowing from the Maine , And twice the riuer sends it backe againe , And as the flouds or ebbes encrease or falls , They through the arches murmure Madrigals , Whil'st th' Eddies divers wayes doth turne and trace , Tame doth with Isis dance the wilde goose chace , From this rare matchlesse piece of workmanship , I with the tide of Ebbe must quickly slip , And downe into the Riuer Lea I hie , That parts Midsaxon from East Saxony . Which riuer fals from Ware to Walthamstow , And downe by Layton vnto Stratford Bow , Some call it Lea , but Camden calls it Stowre , And neare Blackwall it in the Thames doth powre , Next Rodeing is ( a Brooke or riuer small ) Which Foord from Berking into Thames doth fall . From Hauering , Burntwood and from Ockingdon , Three little Rils into the Thames do run , Th' are namelesse , or scarce worth the nomination . And so on Essex side I end my station . And now I 'le crosse into the County Kent To note what riuers from her bound are sent , To wait vpon the mighty bigswolne Thames , Who now is grown the Prince of Brittains streams . By Bromley glides the riuer Rauensburne To Deptford downe with many a wandring turne , The riuer Darrent is the next and last , Which downe by Dartford into Thames is cast . And thus from Glocester shire neare Tetbury And Buckingham shire close by Aylsbury , I haue brought Isis and her partner Tame With twenty seven helpes losing each their name , Who spend themselues to make the Thames grow great , Till ( below Lee ) it lose both name and seat , Through many Countries as these waters passe , They make the Pastures fructifie in grasse : Cattell grow fat , and cheese and butter Cheape , Hey in abundance , Corne by stricke and heape , Beasts breed , and Fish increase , fowles multiply , It brings wood , Cole , and Timber plenteously : It beares the lame and weake , makes fat the leane , And keepes whole townes and countries sweet and cleane ; Wer 't not for Thames ( as heauens high hand doth blesse it ) We neither could haue fish , or fire to dresse it , The very Brewers would be at a fault , And buy their water dearer than their mault , And had they malt and water at desire , What shift ( a Gods name ) would they make for fire ? There 's many a Seaman , many a Nauigator , Watermen , fishers , bargemen on this water , Themselues and families beyond compare , In number more than hundred thousands are , Who doe their Prince and Country often serue , And wer 't not for this riuer might goe sterue ; And for the good to England it hath done , Shall it to spoyle and ruine be let runne ? Shall p●…iuate persons for their gainfull use , Ingrosse the water and the land abuse , Shall that which God and nature giues us free , For vse and profit in community , Be barr'd from men , and damb'd vp as in Thames , ( A shamelesse auarice surpassing shames ; ) I speake not of the riuers bounds below , Whereas the tides perpetuall ebbe and flow , Nor is the r●…er wanting much repaire , Within the bounds of Londons honour'd Maior , Which limits all are cleare from stakes and piles , Beyond Stanes bridge ( that 's more than forty miles ) But I ( from Oxford ) downe to Stanes will slide , And tell the riuers wrongs which I espide , Not doubting but good mindes their powers will lend , T' endeuour these abuses to amend : Therefore I pray the Readers to dispence , And pardon my abrupt intelligence . From Oxford two miles Ifley distant is , And there a new turne pike doth stand amisse , Another stands at Stanford , below that , Weeds , shelues , and shoales all waterlesse and flat ; At Newnham locke there 's plac'd a fishing weare , A gra●…ell hill too high , scarce water there ; At Abington the shoales are worse and worse , That Swift ditch seemes to be the better course , Below which towne neare Sutton there are left Piles that almost our Barges bottome cleft ; Then Sutton locks are great impediments , The waters fall with such great violence , Thence downe to Cullom , streame runs quicke and quicke Yet we rub'd twice a ground for want of liquor . The Weare of Carpenter's sans fault I thinke , But yet neare Witnum towne a tree did sinke , Whereas by fortune we our Barge did hit , And by misfortune there a board was split ; At Clif on there are rocks , and sands , and flats , Which made vs wade , and wet like drowned rats , ●he passage bare , the water often gone , ●nd rocks smooth worne , doe paue it like free stone . ●rom Clifton downe to Wallingford we fleet , Where ( for annoyance ) piles are plac'd vnmeet ; ●rom thence our Oares did downe the riuer draw , ●ntill we came vnto a mungrill Spaw , 〈◊〉 Bath , a Spring , a Fountaine , or a Rill , ●ha● issues from the bowels of a hill , 〈◊〉 hill it may be tearm'd , or demie mountaine , ●rom out whose entralls springs this new-found fountaine , Whose water ( cleare as Chrystall , sweet as hony , ) Cures all diseases ( except want of mony , ) 〈◊〉 helpes the Palsey , Cramp , or Apoplexie , ●cab scurfe , or scald , or dropsie if it vex yee , ●he Plurisie , the Lethargie , Strangury , ●t cures the Cataracke , and the Stone assure yee ; ●he head-ach , Megrim , Canker , or the Mumps , Mange , Murrians , Meazles , Melancholy dumps , ●t is of vertue , vigor , and of force ●o driue all malladies from man or horse ; Help'd of a Tertian ague I saw one , Weake , and not worth the ground he went vpon ) Who drank the water mingled with the clay , And presently the Ague ran away ; It cures an old sore , or a bruised blow ; It made the deafe to heare , the lame to goe ; One dumbe came thither , and straightway disputed , And on the trees are crutches executed ; To heale greene wounds it hath such Soueraigne power , It cur'd a broken pate in halfe an houre , Which sconce was crack'd on purpose to th' intent , To try the vertue of the Element . If any man imagine I doe lie , Let him goe thither , breake his pate and trie . Some say crack'd maidenheads are there new sodered , I 'm sure the hill with beggers is embroidered , And all those beggers are with little cost , With lice and scabs embroidered and embost ; And as it were the Well of Aristotle , The water is farre fetch'd in many a bottle , The clay mixt with the liquour kils the Cornes , Ah could it cure some Cuckolds of their hornes , It would haue patients out of euery climat , More than my patience could endure to rime at , And had it but the vertue to surcease Some clamorous tongues , and make them hold their pea●… Thousands of husbands would their wiues send thither ; That they might be recouered all together . Apothecaries I lament your lots , Your medcines now will mould in Gallipots , ●…ur drugges with barbarous names vnbought will lie , ●…d waste and languish in obscurity , ●…ill begger all the Quacksaluers outright , 〈◊〉 all our Mountebanks are vndone quite , 〈◊〉 what 's become of me ? can any tell ? ●…od Reader helpe me out of this strange well ; ●…with my pen its praise did meane to touch , ●…nd it ( I feare ) hath made me write too much , ●…hich if I haue , let your constructions be , ●…ame the strange working waters and not me : ●…ut he that sayes that I doe ouer-doe , ●…et him goe thither and hee 'le doe so to ; 〈◊〉 farewell , Well , well fare thou , still excell , ●…crease in operation , Well farewell . 〈◊〉 eath the fountaine , next is Cleaue locks fall , ●…d neare to that a locke men Goring call , ●…ut hauing past the locke at Gorings there , ●…t Master Coltons house we had good cheare , ●…ith hearty welcome , but 't was for his sake ●…hat d●…d this hopefull businesse vndertake , ●…et with our hearty thanks we thanke them all , ●…hat din'd vs like a solemne festiuall . ●…rom thence to Harts locke downward we descended , ●…d next to Whitchurch locke which must be mended , ●…ecause the waters turne so swift and various , 〈◊〉 gainst our wils to dangerous courses carry vs : Next there 's a Weare , that if it had its right , Should be well lib'd , or else remoued quite ; Below that Maple Ducham locke appeares , Where stands three faulty and vntoward Weares ; Then neare the bridge of Cauersham there is One Welbecks Weare , fit to be mou'd I wis ; As past the locke at Cauersham we row , We found the riuer very foule below , With weeds and hills of mud and grauell choak'd . That with our Oares and staues we thrust and poak'd . Next Breaches Weare neare Sunning naught doth lie , And Sunning locke the groundsill is too high , Besides two Gin-holes that are very bad And Sunning bridge much need of mending had ; Haules Weare doth almost crosse the riuer all , Making the passage straight and very small , How can that man be counted a good liuer That for his priuate vse will stop a riuer ? Shiplocke , or Cottrels locke stand very neare , Not from that farre is Elmes his fishing weare , Whereas the riuers case is altered well , For Master Ployden neare that place doth dwell ; Marsh locke is plac'd a little aboue Henly , And there the Thames is kept indifferent cleanly , And here at Henley once in fifteene yeares , A Riuer stranger in the street appeares , Whose cesterne in the Woods his wealth doth gather , ●…n that long space , and cannot get it rather , B●…t gotten out of high-way-flouds , and leaues , A●… Dutchmen keepe the drops of their house-eues . The cesterne fils and then the wals breake downe , And send their stowage vnto Henley towne , An●…ther fifteene yeares the wals repaire , And fill the place with raine or thawed ayre , And being so replenisht in that space , It runnes ( rub rub ) close by the bowling place . Neare Henley ( some three quarters of a mile ) A little I le digresse and change my stile . Should I forget the good Iudge Whitlocks loue , Vnmanner'd and vngratefull I should proue , It was about the time ( as I remember ) In August , some fiue dayes before September ) We landed neare the noble Iudges harbour , ( With stomacks sharpe as razour of a Barber ) The time was short , we neither toyd nor trifled , The Kitchin , Pantry , Pastry strait we rifled ; The Celler and the Buttery both we forrag'd , By which braue booty we were much encourag'd , S●…ke and good Claret drawne from Tierce and Punchion , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 one whole day , and two euenings Nunchion ; Ou●… b●…ead as good as euer baker sifted , Ou●… wine ( rare wine ) as ere to mouth was lifted , And in our businesse ( though we all were hasty ) We did surprize an excellent Venson pasty , We there did saue the labour of inuiters ; Whole ioynts of mutton prou'd vs good sheepe-biters , Our beere was brauely boyl'd and strongly malted , Our Pidgeon Pie was pepper'd well and salted , Most tender Chickins , Pullet , and a Capon , We ( in our fury ) did commit a rape on ; A mighty scarlet Lobster last we seased , And so with these Acchats our minds were eased , But that which made our viands taste the better , Was welcome , which made each of vs a debter ; And long may he and his suruiue and flourish , That did poore trauellers so kindly nourish , These lines are writ in duty to expresse Our loue , our duty , and our thankfulnesse . From thence we hi'd vs with the streame and wind , And in the Barge at noone we brauely din'd , And as our meat our gratefull minds did moue , We dranke Iudge Whitlocks health to shew our loue . Then came we to a locke call'd Hambleton , Whereas the streame a handsome course doth runne ; Next Mednam Weare doth speedy mending lacke , It puts the Thames , and Thames puts it to wracke , And neare Frogge-mill two paltry stops there are , That in the Riuer take too great a share ; 〈◊〉 at Harley , and a Weare below , ●…lmost a stop , ( fit to be clear'd I know ; ) ●…hen Temple locke , ' bouc Bisham Church there is , ●…eneath which is a Weare somewhat amisse , ●…hen Marlow locke is worst I must confesse , ●…he water is so pinch'd with shallownesse , ●…eneath which is a Weare should be defac'd , ●…nd Cottrels Weare of Cookham be displac'd . 〈◊〉 Weare doth to one Holdernesse belong , ●…hich doth the riuer most in●…ious wrong , ●…eare which a Spring runs from the chalkie hills , ●…he which ( not long agoe ) did driue two mills , 〈◊〉 stop 'gainst Toplow Warren much doth spread ●…ext Bolters lock , ( a mile from Maydenhead . ) ●…hus haue I past the locks , now weares and stops , ●…rom thence as farre as Stanes mine Inkhorne drops . ●…oue Maidenhead bridge a stop and one beneath , ●…hich both to be amended I bequeath ; ●…gainst Bray church , and Bray mill , stand three more , ●…different bad as any were before ; 〈◊〉 stop at Water Oakley naught doth lie , ●…t Rudles poole the grauell hills too high , ●…he water turnes so short , and runnes so quicke , ●…hat oft the Barges there a ground doe stricke ; ●…eare Boueney Church a dangerous stop is found , ●…n which fiue passengers were lately drown'd ; Below the bridge at Windsor ( passing thus ) Some need lesse p●…les stand very perillous : Neare Eaton College is a stop and weare , Whose absence well the riuer may forbeare ; A stop , a weare , a dangerous s●…nke tree , No●… farre from 〈◊〉 Ferry are all three ; A graue●…l bed , two stops and stakes beside , Agai●…st and neare old Windsor Church we spide , With 〈◊〉 stops more we saw neare Ankerwike , And neare my Lord Maiors stone we saw the like , Besides an 〈◊〉 or Island there we found , Hedg'd far 〈◊〉 into the streame to gaine more ground : From Stanes we past to Lallum guls , most shallow , Whereas ●…iue Barges fast aground did wallow ; And su●…h a trowling current there did set , That we were vildly puzzled by to get ; Tumbling 'twixt Middlesex and Surrey land , We came where Chertseyes crooked bridge doth stand , Which s●…re was made all by left-handed men , The like of it was neuer in my ken ; Wiw waw to Oakam ward , kim kam , kiwwaw , That through i●… men can hardly set or row , That 's the last fault I found that merits note , And downe from thence we merrily did ●…lote . Thus haue I shew'd Thames wrongs in generall , And wish they may be mou'd , or mended all ; And who can but with pity here behold These multitudes of mischiefes manifold ? Shall Thames be barr'd its course with stops and locks , With Mils , and hils , with gravell beds , and rocks : With weares , and weeds , and forced Ilands made , To spoile a publike for a priuate Trade ? Shame fall the doers , and Almighties blessing Be heap'd vpon their heads that seeke redressing . Were such a businesse to be done in Flanders Or Holland mongst the industrious Netherlanders , They to deepe passages would turne our hils , To Windmils they would change our watermils . All helpes vnto this riuer they would ayd , And all impediments should be destroyed : Our vagabonds ( the wandering brood of Caine , ) They would enforce those runnagates take paine , Whereby much profit quickly would accrue , ( For labour robs the hangman of his due . ) In common reason , all men must agree That if the riuer were made cleane and free , One Barge , with eight poore mens industrious paines , Would carry more than forty carts or waines . And euery waine to draw them horses fiue , And each two men or boyes to guide or driue , Charge of an hundred horse and 80. men With eight mens labour would be serued then , Thus men would be employed , and horse preseru'd , And all the Countrey at cheape rates be seru'd . T' is said the Dutchmen taught vs drinke and swill , I 'm sure we goe beyond them in that skill , I wish ( as we exceed them in what 's bad , ) That we some portion of their goodnesse had : Then should this worthy worke be soone begun , And with successefull expedition done : Which I despaire not of , but humbly plead , That God his blessings will increase and spread On them that loue this work , and on their heires , Their goods and chattels , and on all that 's theirs : I wish them blest externall , and internall , And in the end with happinesse eternall . FINIS . I Haue almost finished another small booke which I will name , ALL WATERS , wherein I haue treated of the strange diuersities of waters , and also I haue described and explained the various dispositions of watermen , their lawfull vses , and their vnlawfull abuses , neither flattering , sparing , or wronging any good or ill , which I know either by them or my selfe , not omitting any thing that may tend in the praise of their honest trade and conditions , nor inserting any thing to couer their causlesse iniuries , which many of them haue done to me and others ; for they haue lately cast out scandalous libels , and defaming speeches against me , and I must make them know , that I am not of that tame patience to forbeare them , who are knowin●… to be nothing but rumour and rabble ; therefore vpon such I must right my selfe in print . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13509-e1250 Corruptly called Stow the old . 
A13510	----	Taylors revenge, or, The rymer William Fennor firkt, feritted, and finely fetcht ouer the coales wherein his riming raggamuffin rascallity, without partiallity, or feare of principallity, is anagramatized, anotomized, & stigmatized : the occasion of vvhich inuectiue, is breifly set dovvne in the preface to the reader. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1615 Approx. 26 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 15 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13510 STC 23804 ESTC S2920 29464012 ocm 29464012 27977 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13510) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 27977) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1859:7) Taylors revenge, or, The rymer William Fennor firkt, feritted, and finely fetcht ouer the coales wherein his riming raggamuffin rascallity, without partiallity, or feare of principallity, is anagramatized, anotomized, & stigmatized : the occasion of vvhich inuectiue, is breifly set dovvne in the preface to the reader. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [26] p. [E. Allde] and are to be sold, almost anywhere, and transported ouer sea in a cods belly, and cast vp at Cuckolds Haven the last spring-tide, At Rotterdam, at the signe of the blew Bitch in Doglane [i.e. London] : 1615. In verse. Signatures: A⁸(-A1), B⁶. Actual publisher and place of publication from STC (2nd ed.) "Reuenge doth Gallop when it seemes to creepe, For though my wrong did winke, it did not sleepe."--T.p. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Fennor, William. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion TAYLORS REVENGE OR THE RYMER WILLIAM FENNOR Firkt , Feritted , and finely fetcht ouer the Coales . WHEREIN His Riming Raggamuffin Rascallity , without Partiallity , or feare of Principallity , is Anagramatized , Anotomized , & Stigmatized . The occasion of which Inuectiue , is breifly set downe in the Preface to the Reader . Reuenge doth Gallop when it seemes to creepe , For though my wrong did winke , it did not sleepe . PRINTED At Rotterdam , at the signe of the blew Bitch in Dog-Lane , and are to be sold , almost any where . AND Transported ouer sea in A Cods belly , and cast vp at Cuckolds Hauen the last Spring-tide . 1615. To Any that can Read. BE thou either Freind or Foe or indiferent , all 's one , Read , Laugh , like or dislike , all the care is taken : The cheifest cause why I wrote this , was on set purpose to please my selfe . Yet to shew thee the meaning of this little Building , Imagin this Epistle to be the doore , and if thou please come in and see what stuffe the whole Frame is made off . Be it therefore knowne vnto all men , that I Iohn Taylor Waterman , did agree with William Fennor , ( who Arrogantly and falsely entitles himselfe the Kings Maiesties Riming Poet ) to Answere me at a triall off Wit on the seauenth of October last 1614. on the Hope stage on the Bank-side , and the said Fennor Receiued of me ten shillings in earnest of his comming to meete me , whereupon I caused 1000 bills to be Printed , and douulg'd my name 1000 wayes and more , giuing my Freinds and diuers of my acquaintance notice of this Bear-garden banquet of daintie Conceits , and when the day came that the Play should haue been performed , the house being filld with a great Audience , who had all spent their moneyes extraordinarily : then this Companion for an Asse , Ran away & left me for a Foole , amongst thousands of critticall Censurers : where I was ill thought of by my freinds , scorned by my foes , and in conclusion , in a greater p●zzell then the blinde Beare in the midst of all her whip broath ; Besides the some of twenty pounds in money , I lost my Reputation amongst many , and gaind disgrace in stead of my better expectations . In Reuenge of which wrongs done vnto me by the said Ryming Rascal , I haue written this I●●ectiue against him , cheifly because the ill looking Hound doth not confesse he hath iniur'd me , nor hath not so much honesty as to bring or send me my money that he tooke for earnest of me : but on the contrary part , he Railes and Abuses me with his callumnious tongue , and scandalizet● me in all Companies where he heares me nominated . But in a word , Reader when thou hast read this that followes , I thinke thou wilt Iudge me cleare ●f the many false Imputations that are laid vpon me . So I leaue thee to thy Con●iderations , and I proceed to my Exclamations . Thine as thou art mine , IOHN TAYLOR . VVILLYAM FENNOR . Annagrama . NV VILLANY For me OR For me NV VILLANY . NV VILLANY For me , Nue fresh and New , Or Forme NV VILLANY , Come Turk , come Iew , Come who dares come , for I haue found a Theame , That ouerflowes with matter like a streame . And now stand cleere my maisters , ware your shins , For now to kick and fling my Muse begins . How fit his name is Annagrammatiz'd , And how his Nature is Annotomiz'd , T' would make a horse with laughing break his bridle But to the purpose , long delayes are idle . Taylors Reuenge . TO WILLYAM FENNOR . COme Sirrha , Rascall , off your cloathes , Sr. strip , For my Satyrrick whip shall make you skip : Th'adst better to haue dealt with all the Deuills , They could not plague thee with so many euills . Nay come man , neuer whine , or crooch or kneele , My heart cannot one iot of pitty feele , I'haue squeez'd the Gall from out the Lernean Snake With which , Reuengefull Inke I meane to make , Which I with Aqua-fortis will Commix , Yblended with the loathsome Lake of stix , And with that Marrow-eating hatefull Inke I le make the● ( more then any Aiax ) stinke , A Scritch-owles quill shall be my fatall pen , That shall emblaze thee basest slaue of men . So that when as the pur-blinde worlde shall see How vildley thou hast playd the Rogue with mee , They shall perceiue I wrong'd them not ●or pelfe And thou shalt ( like a Rascall ) hang thy selfe . What damned Villaine would forsweare & swear● As thou didst , gainst my Challenge to appeare , To Answer me at Hope , vpon the stage And thereupon my word I did ingage , And to the world did publish printed Bills With promise that we both would shew our skills . And then your Rogue-ship durst not shew your face But Ran away , and left me in disgrace . To thee , ten shillings I for earnest gau● To binde thee that thou shouldst not play the Kna●● . Curr , hadst thou no mans Creddit to betray But mine , or couldst tho●●●nde no other way , To Shark , or Shift , or Co●y-catch for money But to make me thy Asse , thy Foole , thy Coney ? Could not thy Squire and thee , ( a brace of Varlots ) Ri●de , F●old , & Pip'd , mongst pocky Whoores & Harlots For two-pence in some drunken Bawdy-booth To please thy Doxy-dells sweet stinking tooth , Whereas thou mightst ( as thou hast often done ) Some scrapps and broken beere , for wages wone , Which to maintaine thy state had been some meanes Amongst thy fellowes , Rascalls , Rogues , & Queanes . Thou scuruie squint-eyd brazen-fac'd Baboon Thou dam'd Stiggmaticall fowle Pantaloon● , Thou Tauerne , Alehouse Whoorehouse , Gig of time That for a Groate wilt Amongst Tinkers Rime . I le hale from Hell Grim visag'd Nemesis Whom I will Scull or'e siluer Thamesis , Which to & fro , shall still torment and towze thee And none but Runagates ( like thee ) shall howze thee . Thine owne ●●gue ( trumpet like ) each where proclaime● Thy selfe a seruant to my Soueraign Iames , When as thy seruice to the King is such As Atheists vnto God , and scarce so much . It may be ( Graceles ) thou hast Graced bin And in the Presence didst Admittance win , Where some stolne Rimes , & some things of thine owne To please the eares of Greatnes thou hast showne . Which ( at the first hath wonne thee some Applawse Although perhaps not worth 3 barly strawes , ) And you forsooth , must presently giue out Amon̄st your Kitchinstuffe whoor-hedge bird rowt , What Nobleman your scuruines did bring Into the Court , and how our Gracious King ( As on a man most worthy to bestow it ) Intitled you his Highness Riming-Poet . How dares thy ouerweening saucy tongue Presume to doe a Poets name that wrong ? How darst thou ( being altogether vile ) Attribute to thy selfe that Sacred stile ? Shall that Rare Art ( which Gods and 〈◊〉 admire Polluted be by such a scuruie Squire ? Shall Heau'n-bred Poesie that so long hath lasted With thy contagious breath be Bussard-blasted ? Then Homer from thy Toomb , with speed returne And Maro Rouze thee from thy peacefull Vrne . Braue Naso to the world againe Retire , And Repossesse that Rare Pr●methean fire Which erst inspird you , heere you may behold The face of Impudency ouer-bold , That dares put on that sweet Poetique name Which hath eterniz'd your Immortall fame . Reuenge you Muses , vp , awake , awake , Or euer sinke to the Lethean Lake . And you braue Moderne Poets whose sweet lines All Heau'nly earthly Harmony combines , Can you , O'can your Sences be stupidious And see your selues abused thus perfidious . Oh if the Case were mine , as it is yours I would Raine vengance in reuengefull showres , Which furi●●s storme for euer should disperse And dash to peices these base Groomes in verse . An Asse in Cloath of Gold is but an Asse , And Riming Rascalls may for Poets passe , Amongst misiudging and illiterate Hynds But Iudgement knowes to vse them in their kindes . My selfe knowes how ( sometimes ) a verse to frame Yet dare I not put on a Poets name , And I dare write with thee at any time For what thou darest in either Prose or Rime , For thou of Poesy art the verie Scum Of Riff-Raff-Rubish wit the totall summe , The loathsome Glaunders of all base abuse The onely Filch-line of each labring Muse , The Knaue , the Asse , the Coxcomb and the Foole The scorne of Poets , and true wits Csose-stoole . But all your Tauerne and your Alehouse prate Is how your entertainment was in State , With this Great Lord and that embrodered Knight , With that faire Countesse , and that Lady bright , Though where thou come thou shift & lye & lurch As welcome as a Dog into a Church . Dost thinke the King and 's Courtiers doth not see And know that nothing good Can come from thee ! Can Swine yeeld sweet perfumes , ( can Swannes breed Crowes ? Can flattering Rogues haue but dissembling showes ? Can health be hidden in the plague or pox ? Can men take pride in fetters , bonds or stocks ? And more vnpossible then are all these It is that thou shouldst any wise man please , Except it be a flash , a sparke , a spurt , Soone in , soone out , and then as sweet as durt , Or like a candl's snuffe , for pleasing scent Thou leau'st them deeply pleasd with discontent , For thou ( like stinking Fish ) art growne so stale , A whole dayes Rime not worth a pot of Ale. But shortly I doe hope to see braue sport , To haue thee soundly whip'd from out the Court , For well I know my King will not allowe His house to harbour such a Rogue as thou . I vow to G●d , my Inkhorne I le not shut , Or sleepe shall not mine eyes together put Before each night I write some scourging vearse That in Reuenge thy Iadish heart shall peirce . For I whose creddt nere before was tainted , Nor euer was with Cheating tricks acquainted , To be by thee thus basely vsd and crost And in the world my Reputation lost , And all by thee , that merit'st nought but banging For sure I thinke , thou 'lt nere be worth the hanging . Yet rather then thou shouldst a Hanging want I 'de trusse thee vp for naught , were Hangmen scant , Nay I Would doe it freely , and for nothing , And giue thy Wife againe my fee and cloathing : Which Curtesie of mine , no doubt would moue The creatures kindnes to require my loue . On her thou laidst the fault : thou said'st that shee Did force thee basely Runne away from mee . Thou Dolt , thou Dunce , more blockish then a M●le , None but a Wittall giues his wife the Rule . No t' was thy Coward heart , full fraught with feare T' was nothing else that made thee not appeare . Hadst thou the Conquest got , I had not car'd So thou-vnto thy word hadst had regard , Then sure the Players had not playd a play But thou or I had borne away the day . And now to giue the world a little tast Of the strange brunts and puzzells that I past , I will not write a word shall be vntrue That men may know , thou vs'd me like a 〈◊〉 And that I doe not Raile on the so fore But that my wrongs doth vrge me to doe more . The house was filld with Newters , Foes , and Freind● And eu'ry one their money frankly spends , But when I saw the day away did ●ade And thy look'd for Appearance was not made , I then stept out their angers to appease But they all Raging like tempestious Seas : Cry'd out their expectations were defeated And how the wall were Cony catch'd & Cheated , Some laught , some swore , some star'd & stamp'd and curst And in confused humors all out burst . I ( as I could ) did stand the desp'rat shock , And bid the brunt of many dang'rous knock . For now the stinkards , in their Irefull wraths Bepelted me with Lome , with Stones , and Lath● , One madly fits like bottle - Ale , and hisses , Another throwes a stone , and cause he misses He yawnes and baules , and cryes away , Away : Another cryes out Iohn begin the Play , I thinke this Baebell of confused Action Would sure haue made thee stinke with feares distraction , One sweares and storms , another laughs & smiles , Another madly would pluck off the tiles . Some Runs to'the doore to get againe their Coyne And some doe shifts and some againe purloine , One valiantly stept out vpon the Stage And would teare downe the Hangings in his rage . ( God graunt he may haue hanging at his end That with me for the hangings did contend , ) Such clapping , hissing , swearing , stamping , smiling , Applauding , scorning , li●ing , and Reuiling , Did more torment me then a Purgatorie , Yet I ( in scorne of windie pomp stage glory ) Did stand it out , vnconquer'd , vnsubdude , Despight the Hydra-headed multitude . Now Goodman dog a halter catch your muzzell , Your not Appe●rance brought me in this puzz●ll , But I ( to giue the Audience some content ) Began to Act what I before had ment : And first I playd A maundering Roguish creature ( a part thou could haue Acted well by nature ) Which act did passe , and please , and fild their Iawe● With wrinkled laughter , and with good Aplawse . Then came the Players , and they play'd an Act Which greatly from my Action did detract . For t is not possible for any one To play against a Company alone , And such a Company ( I le boldlie say ) That better ( nor the like ) e're playd a Play. In breife , the Play my Action did Eclips And in a manner seald vp both my lipps . Suppose it were a black Cimmerian night And that some 12 or 16 Torches light Should make night seeme an Artificiall day , And them suppose these torches past away , Whilst dismall darknes straight resumes the place , Then after all comes in with Glimm'ring pace A silly ●aper . How would that alone Shew when the flaming torches all were gone ? Eu'd so seem'd I , amidst the Guarded troope Of Gold lac'd Actors , yet all could not droope My fixed minde , for where true Courage rootes : The Prouerb sayes , once ouer shoes or ● bootes . T' were easier to subdue wilde Beares or Bores , Or rowe to High-gate with a paire of Oares , Or to make thee an vpright honest man ( Which sure God will not , nor the Deuill can ) T' were lesser labor to blow downe Paules-steeple Then to Appease , or please the raging people . The Play made me as sweet in their opinions As Tripes well fry'd in Tarr , or Egges with Onions . I , like a Beare vnto the stake was tide , And what they said , or did , I must abide . A pox vpon him for a Rogue sayes one And with that word he throwes at me a stone , A second my estate doth seeme to pitty , And saies my Action's good , my speeches witty . A third doth screw his chaps awry , and mew , His selfe conceited wisdome so to shew . Thus doth the Third , the Fourth , the Fift and Six Most G●lliemawfrey-like their humors mix . Such Motley , Medley , Linsey Wolsey speeche● Would sure haue made thee vilifie thy breeches . What I endur'd , vpon that earthly hell My tongue or pen cannot discribe it well . And rather then I le doe the like once more I would be married to an Arrant Whore. And that 's a Plague , I could wish well to thee For it would worser then a Hanging be . And let ●e say my best in my excuse , The Audience all were wrong'd with great abuse , Great cause they had to take it in offence , To come from their Affaires with such expence By Land and Water , and then at the Play So extraordinarily to pay , And when th● thing should bee which they expected Then nothing to their likings was effected . Their mirth to Madnes , liking turned to Loathing For when all came to all , all came to nothing . Thus hast thou had a little slender taste Of my designes , and ●ow I was disgrac'd , For which I am beholding to you Sir , For had you come , there had been no such stir , Not cause the people long'd thy selfe to see But that they look'd thou shouldst disgraced bee , To see vs two the people did repaire , And not to see or heare , or Play or Player . Why what a faithlesse Rascall art thou then Dar'st thou to look● vpon me once ag●n , Which if thou dost , were 't not for ●ear of Lawes I 'de stab my Dagger thorow both thy lawes . But much I scorne my fingers should be fowle With beating such a durry 〈◊〉 - Owle . But I le Rib-roast thee , and bum-bast thee still With my enraged Muse , and angry Quill . And so I leaue thy Carkas and Apparrell Vnto the Hangman , who shall end our quarrell , My full opinion of thee sure is this In no Church-booke thy name Recorded is ▪ But that thou wast begotten in some ditch Betwixt a Tinker and a 〈◊〉 Witch , And sure thy birth did equall thy beg●tting , I thinke thy Mother in the Sun-shine sitting . Basking herselfe close to ●ome hedge of Thorne And so without a Midwife thou wa●t borne . And there the Sunne with his Illustrous Light Screwd quite Awry the Wind●wes of thy sight . Then afterwards the Ma●●o●e thought it meet To wrap thee vp within some hedg-stolne sheet . And making thee his sweet vnchristian pack Some six or seau'n yeare bare thee on hir back , Instructing thee in the braue Canting tong And how in Pedlers French to sing a song . And Ryme for Butter-milk for Curds and Whay And in a Barne at night thy bones to lay . This I doe thinke of thee , I le not say so ▪ Thou knowst it best if it be so or no. This ( by thine owne Report ) some few yeares since Thou Rym'st at Gr●●●send for so●e fourteen pence I' the street , from seauenteen people vnrespected This Graund Collection , Iustly was Collected . As I doe hope for blisse , I hate thee not For any Goods or Creddit thou hast got In Court or Cittie . But thy praise I le sing If any way thou didst delight the King. So many tedious Cares are daylie throwne Vpon the Royall-head that weares a Crowne , That into Action I would melt my spright Thereby to giue my Sou'raigne some delight . For such things I doe loue and wish thee well But that I thinke no such in thee doth dwell . Therefore I hate the● , as thou dost be●aue Thy selfe like to a couzening paltry Knaue . What heere I write , vpon thee I le make good And in the hazard I le engage my blood . But as I said before , againe I le say I scorne on such a Rascall , hands to lay , For the olde Prouerb is Authenticall ( Who touches pitch shal be defilde witha●● . Thou hast a pate can forge a Mint of lies , Else how i' st possible thou couldst deuise At once to flap me and the world i' th mouth That thou wast Rid , East , West , and North , & South . That day thou shouldst haue met me on the Stage Thou wentst three me wayes at once on pilgrimage , Thou sent'st ●e word tho'wast sent for to the Court , Thy wife said thou with speed must make resort To fetch her portion out of Warwick-shire , And the day after t' was my chance to heare , How thou for begging of a Fellons pardon Wast Rid downe into Kent to fetch thy Guer●●●n . So that the Portion that thou wentst to fet Thou from the Gallo●●es ( thy best frei●d ) didst get . But though thou rob the G●llowes of his fee , It will ( at last ) for principall catch thee . Where ( for thou Guld'st me at t●e Hope ) I hope Thou wilt conclude thy Rogu'ry in a Rope , Three Trees , two Ram●ant , and the other Crossant , One halter Pendant , and a ladder Pass●●t , In a feild Azure , ( clouded like the ●kye ) Because 'twixt Earth and Ayre I hope thou'●t d●e . These Armes for thee , my Muse hath Heralldiz'd , And to exalt thee , them shee hath deuisd . Then when thou bidst the world thy last good-night Squi●t vpward , and cry Gallowes claime thy right . To whose protection , thy Estate I tender , And all thy Rights and Titles I surrender , Thy Carkas and thy Manners ( that are ●uill ) To Tyburne , Hangman , and ( thy ●ire ) the Deuill . Thine as thou hast deseru'd , Iohn Taylor . To the Reader . NOw honest Reader , ( if thou be so ) tell Haue I not Ca●uas'd this same Rascall well ? Me thinks I heare some say I am to bitter And if I were more milde they hold it fitter . Let such men Truely but conceiue my wrong , And thinke the Case did to themselues belong . When such a F●llow with me shall agree And take my money for an ernest see , And make me Print a thousand Bills and more , And daylie on the Posts to clap up store , For thousand Readers as they passe the way To see my name engag'd to play a Play Gainst William Fennor my Antagonist , And then , fo● me each hower to persist ( Vpon his word ) to studdy and to write And scarce in six weekes rest or day or night . And when the time is Come the play should be My opposite should Run away from me . And leaue me to be made a wondring ●●ock A scorne , a Bye-word , for the world to mock . To make me loose my Credit , and my name To be or'c●ouded with perpetuall shame . Iudge if this would not moue a man to spleen● To be thus basely vsd as I haue been . Thus to the Censure of the World I send This sharpe inuectiue , which my Anger pend . And as my wrong was publike , so will I Reuenged ●e vpon him Publikely . And for him I haue worser Rodd● in pisse Yf he but dare to Write and Answer this . But if he durst no better play the Knaue Then Answer me , he would not Goe so bra●e . But yet heer 's one thing was almost forgot Which till this time my Muse remembred not , And sure it must his Fool● ship needs , m●lest , This hath been Read and Laught at by the best , That when he dares but to the Court to come His entertainment will be like I●ck Drum. To my spightfull Foes . Like Guests vnbid , you might haue brought your stooles For as you came , you went away like Fooles . The purpose which my studie did intend Was by no meanes any to offend , And therefore whatsoeuer that they be That enuiously doe Raile and snarle at me , I can no lesse doe , but with word and pen Informe them that they are malitious men . Gainst no man in particular I write But gen'rally to all that beare me spight . I pray for them , ( to make their fury madder ) God turne their hearts , or Hangman turne the ladder Which turning sure will either mend or end them To one of which my daylie Prayers commend them . FINIS . 
A13511	----	Taylors travels and circular perambulation, through, and by more then thirty times twelve signes of the Zodiack, of the famous cities of London and Westminster With the honour and worthinesse of the vine, the vintage, the wine, and the vintoner; with an alphabeticall description, of all the taverne signes in the cities, suburbs, and liberties aforesaid, and significant epigrams upon the said severall signes. Written by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1636 Approx. 52 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 32 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13511 STC 23805 ESTC S118288 99853495 99853495 18879 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13511) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18879) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:27) Taylors travels and circular perambulation, through, and by more then thirty times twelve signes of the Zodiack, of the famous cities of London and Westminster With the honour and worthinesse of the vine, the vintage, the wine, and the vintoner; with an alphabeticall description, of all the taverne signes in the cities, suburbs, and liberties aforesaid, and significant epigrams upon the said severall signes. Written by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [64] p. Printed by A[ugustine] M[athewes], London : 1636. Partly in verse. Printer's name from STC. Signatures: A-D. Running title reads: Taylors travels, through more then thirtie times twelve signes. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-07 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2002-08 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion TAYLORS TRAVELS AND CIRCVLAR PERAMBVLATION , through , and by more then thirty times twelve Signes of the Zodiack , of the Famous Cities of London and Westminster . With the Honour and Worthinesse of the Vine , the Vintage , the Wine , and the Vintoner ; with an Alphabeticall Description , of all the Taverne Signes in the Cities , Suburbs , and Liberties aforesaid , and significant Epigrams upon the said severall Signes . Written by IOHN TAYLOR . LONDON , Printed by A. M. 1636. THE PREFACE TO the READER . Gentlemen and others ( of what Sex , Estate , Condition , Calling , Degree , Quallitie , Art , Mistery , Craft , Trade , Science , Function , or Occupation soever ) Greeting and friendly Salutations . First , I most humbly and thankefully remember my thankes to all such as have formerly taken my Labours in such good part , as I have felt their liking in their loving Bounty . Secondly , I doe expresse my Gratitude to as many as have accepted my Bookes at my hands , although some of them have not , and many of them could not Requite mee . And thirdly , I doe request as many as doe receive this small Pamphlet to take into their Consideration , that I doe expect they shall pay mee for it . I am sure there hath beene within these 30. yeares more then 200. Impressions of Bookes in my Name ; For though I have ●…ot written above 80. yet some of them hath been ●…rinted 10. or 12. times over , 1500. or 20●…0 . eve●…y time . Amongst which number of Pamphlets , I ●…m sure , that ( first and last ) I have given free●…y for nothing ( never expecting any thing but ●…hankes ) above 30000. Bookes , ( besides those ●…hat I have beene Rewarded for : ) But so it is ●…ow ( my good Friends ) that Age , and some Charge ●…rging me to make triall of your Loues , onely for ●…his one small Toy or Trifle ; And though it may ●…eeme a Trifle to you , it was a Travell to me in the ●…ollecting and Writing : All which , with my ●…elfe , I leave to be considered upon your receiving ●…f the Second Part , which I am at as busie as a Bee ; alwayes Remaining yours Heere and There Or Any Where IOHN TAYLOR . TAYLORS TRAVELS through more then thirtie times twelve Signes . AS the Sunne , in his Celestiall Pro gresse , doth with perpetuall mo tion passe through the twelv●… Signes of the Zodiack , and every yeare doth beguirt the large Cir cumference of his Heavenly Spheare ; yet it i●… to be noted , that twelve Signes only , and n●… more but twelve , are each one in his monethly course , the places of his Perambulation , an●… circular Travell . And as a Zany or Counterfeit , will ( fo●… sports sake ) in a pleasant way , imitate an Activ●… Nimble Tumbler in his feates of Activity So I , in Imitation of the Sunne , have in on●… Moneth progress'd through London , Westminster , with the Suburbs , and the Burrough of Southwarke ; not as the Sunne doth through twelve , but neer thirtie times twelve Signes . I have found Aries and Taurus in Rams and Rams-head , Buls , and Bul-heads ; for Gemini I have made shift with the Signe of Adam and Ev●… in Tothill-street at Westminster , with all other double Signes , as Rose and Crowne , Castle and Miter , the Man in the Moone , the Crosse-Keyes , or any such signes wherein two severall things are depicted , they serve mee in my Course for Gemini . Cancer ( or the Crab ) was hardest for me to find out ; nor did I much search for it ; for in my Horizon it appeared not , except in the crabbed frowne of a womans face , or in the Rump or later end of a deare Reckoning . For Leo , I have found more then a Den of Lyons , Or , Argent , and Gules , Alias , Golden , Whi●…e e●…nd Red. Virgo , or the Maiden-head Signe , was hard , or scarce to bee found neer a Taverne-Bush ; but at last , Bush-lane afforded me one , which is as the Phaenix of Arabia , alone , there being no more of that signe within the Hemispheare of the Citie . Libra was generally metamophosed in every Taverne , from weights to measures , except at the Bar , where Gold was weighed to a graine ; it is said that Astrea , or Iustice , fled from the Earth , and was turned into the equall , or Septembers Equinoctiall Signe of Libra . The Signe Scorpio ( or the Serpent ) I conjecture to be transformed into greene Dragons ; which Signe I have often past through in my peregrination . For Sagitarius , I was forced to make use of the signe of the Archer , neer Finsbury-fields , or Grubstreet end . Capricornus , is said to be a Signe in the Heavenly Firmament , containing twenty stars ; but if the Goat in West-smithfield had not furnished me , I had beene quite destitute of entertainment at Capricorne . The Signe of the Fountaine was my flowing ( and sometimes overflowing ) Aquarius . In stead of Pisces , I was glad to make my Iourney to the Dolphin and Mermaids . Thus having declared my painefull passage through twelve sorts of Signes , I proceed further to speake of some other Signes . A Catalogue of such Signes , as the Author hath past by and through . I have past by and through Vrsa Major , at the Bridge-foot in Southwarke , and I have visited Vrsa Minor , in more places then one ; I have found the Dog-dayes in the depth of Winter , both at Westminster , and elsewhere . I have beene in conjunction neer the Dragons tayle . I have plaid the Man in the Moone ; I have passed through a Bakers dozen of Suns , besides the seven Stars , for my further perambulation , through and by Angels , Kings and Queenes Heads , Crownes , Ankers , Antelops , Cities , Bels , Castles , Bores , Crosses , Crosse-keyes , Cats and Cardinals , Hats , Eagles , Fleeces , Faulcons , Chequers , Hoops , Cranes , Christopher and Dunston , Globes , Griphons , Saint Iohn , George and Gartar , Field-gate , Turnstile , and Flowerdelice , Harts , Hornes , Harrowes , and Horshooes , Katherine Wheele , Grashopper , Lambe , Kings , Queenes , and Princes Armes , Saint Martin , Mouth and Miter , Pauls-head , Bishops-head , Nags-heads , Pye , Pelican , Plow and Peacock , A Navie of Ships , A Brood of Swans , sweet Roses , kind Salutations , Tractable Tuns , An honest Shepheard , A Windmill , good Wrastlers , a faire Vineyard , A plentifull Vintage , and three Tavernes onely with Bushes without a Thiefe . All which , you that have leisure may find , and when you have found , you may read at your pleasure . Furthermore , it is to be noted , that as in the Firmament there are not so many fixed , as wandring stars : And oftentimes the most part ( or all of them ) are darkned and involved round with Clouds , Vapours , Mists , and Fogs ; so that they are obscured from our sight . So in this lower Circle of my passage , I have found Suns , Moones and Stars , in their bright and shining lustre ( as it were to day ) but upon the sudden some of my Suns have been eclipsed , with a Cloud of Debts ; bad Customers ( or small Custome ) hath brought some of my Moones from the full , to an unrecoverable Wane ; too much beliefe in bad Paymasters hath obscured , now and then a star ; and many other of my lesser stars have beene too often shipwrack'd , with running on a Rocke of Chaulk , or too much scoring . Amongst all these Changes and Mutabilities , I would have the Reader to note , that all those Signes which are in this following Book nominated , were at the writing hereof in Preterpluperfect being , shining and adorning our Terrestriall Hemisphaere with most hopefull , resplendent , refulgent , and translucent Luster . But if any planetary Influence hath with malevolent aspect , cast a fog of Obscurity , or perpetuall Extinction upon any of my Signes , let no man blame mee ( the Author ) for I plead not guilty , either to the Retrogradation , or Declination of any of them ; for I have , and do love all the worthy Company of Vintoners ; that I desire they may ever be like the latter end of a Scriveners Bond ( In full Force and Vertue . ) The antiquity of Wine is recorded memorably by sacred & prophane Historians , and vines have been planted , and vineyards allowed here in England by the Permission of the Emperour Probus , at such time as the Romanes had the Government here . And there was a Record ( and I thinke is yet ) in Windsor Castle , of an yearly account of the Charges for the planting Vines in the little Parke there ; and of the making of Wines in many places of this Land ; and that Grapes grew so plenteously , that some of the Wines served for the Kings houshold , the rest were sold for the King's profit : And that the Tythe of those Vines and Wines were paid to the Abbot of Walthamstow , who was then Parson of Old and New Winsor : And in the raigne of King Iohn , Wine was so plenty , that it was sold for twenty Shillings the Tun , which is but one penny the Gallon : And it was so cheape in the fifteenth yeare of King Henry the Seventh , that ( much of it being ●…rought out of France ) it was given to the Mar●…iners ( for their fraight ) that brought it . Wee are commonly entertain'd with Wine ●…t Christenings , Weddings , and Burials , so that Wine ushers us into the world , and kindly accompanies us all our life , & after death brings ●…s to our graves . Thousands of people doe live ●…y it , as the Planters of Vines , the Keepers of Vineyards , Wine-Merchants , Vintoners , M●…iners , Coopers , Lighter-men , Wharfenge●… Shipwrights , Carpenters , Goldsmithes , Pe●… terers , & Carmen : Besides , the great charge 〈◊〉 Cranedge and Selleridge ; And which is not 〈◊〉 be forgotten , Customes and Imposts . Thus much shall suffife to speake of Wine●… Now for the Honor of Vintoners , I find the●… have been many worthy and Honorable me●… of them ; for in Anno , 1271 , the fifty six year of the Raigne of King Henry the third , on Iohn Adrian , Vintoner , was Lord Maior o●… London . In the eighth yeare of King Edwa●… the third's Raigne , 1334 , one Reignold at th●… Conduit was Lord Maior : In the fifteen●… yeare of the same King , one Iohn of Oxfor●… was Lord Maior . In the one and thirty year of Edward the third , 1356 , Sir Henry Picar●… Vintoner , was Lord Maior ; who for a perp●… tuall Honorable Memory of this Cities wo●…●…hinesse ; and for a Brooch , Jewell , or famo●… Ornament to the Right Worshipfull Comp●… of Vintoners , the said Sir Henry Picard di●… feast foure Kings in one day with most sum●… tuous Magnificence , namely , Edward the thir●… ●…ing of England , Iohn , King of France , David , ●…ing of Scotland , and William , King of Cypress , ●…ith Edward the Black Prince of Wales , the ●…aulphin of France , with many other Princes , ●…ukes and Peeres , as may be read in Stowes●…d ●…d Howes Chronicle , and in the Survay of ●…ondon . In the yeare 1558 , Sir Iohn Stody , ●…intoner , was Lord Maior of London . In the ●…are 1395 , the nineteenth yeare of King Ri●…ard the second , Sir William Moore , Vintoner , ●…as likewise in that Honorable Office. In the ●…neteenth yeare of the Raigne of King Henry 〈◊〉 eight , 1527 , Sir Iames Spencer , Vintoner , ●…as Lord Maior of London . And in the yeare ●…94 , in the five and thirty yeare of the Raigne Queene Elizabeth , Sir Cuthbert Buckle , Vin●…ner , did Nobly serve in that Honorable Of●…ce of London's Maioralty . Besides , I find that 〈◊〉 the seventeenth yeare of Queene Elizabeth , ●…laster Henry Prannell , Vi●…toner , was one of 〈◊〉 Sheriffes of London . As concerning Pious and Charitable works ●…ne by this famous Company , and by their ●…ives , or Widdowes , he that list's to read the ●…rvay of London , shall find the memorable Records of ( not onely those before named ) b●… of Master Stephen Skidmore , Master Richa●… Iacob , Mistris Sibbella Iacob , with many other which for brevities sake , I omit . And thus I dedicate my selfe and this m●… Labour to that Right Worthy , and Ampl●… Company , requesting them , and as many 〈◊〉 loves them , to take nothing in ill part , becau●… I know there was not any thing ill meant . An●… now I proceed to my Alphabeticall and Ep●… grammaticall Peregrination . A ANgell in Long Aker . Angell in Shoreditch . Angell at the Tower Gate . Angell neere the Gatehouse at Westminster . Epigram . Coelestiall sure these Angels are not yet , Nor fiends infernall from the hellish Pit : Though Sinners made them , they are clean from Sin ; Yet are they hang'd , to shew good Wine 's within . Anker in West Smithfield . Anker in East Smithfield . Anker and Ship in the Minories . ●…ker in St. Olaves , at Bermondsey street end . Epigram . Some men have found these Ankers very able , To More them safe and fast without a Cable : A man may Load himselfe , and Sleepe , and Ride , Free from Storms , Tempests , Pirats , Wind and Tide . Adam and Eve at Westminster in Tuthill street . Epigram . Our Parents first ( as I thinke ) ne're dranke Wine , And yet for Wine their Figures are a Signe : As they forbiden were the Fruit to taste , So wee forbidden are , good Wine to waste . Antelop in West Smithfield . Epigram . The Antelop's a rare Beast , seldome seene , Nor hath it often in our Kingdome beene : A forraine Beast , a Signe , shewes forraine Wine For you , or mee , or any Friends of mine . Andrewes Crosse in Fetter lane neer Holborn . Epigram . Saint Andrewes Argent Crosse in th' Azure field Is ancient , and a noble Christian shield : Ther 's French and Spanish , to cheere heart and brain , From the most Christian Cath'like , France and Spain . Antwerp behind the Royall Exchange Epigram . Antwerp , is English'd , Throw thy hand Away , Rather then God , or King , to disobey : At Antwerp Taverne meet shake hands , be merry , Ther 's Clarret , White , Canary , and good Sherry . Archer neere Finsbery Fields , or Grubstreet end . Epigram . This Signe doth shew the worthiest exercise Is Shooting , and it shewes unto our eyes , When Archers in the field have woon the Vpshot , They may come to this Archer and be Cupshot . B. Bishops-head in Chancery Lane. Bell within Temple Barr. Bell without Bishopsgate Bell in Saint Nicholas Lane , through into Canning street . Bell at Saint Thomas in Southwarke Bell at Westminster in Kings street . Bell in Distar Lane Bell in Newgate Market Bell Savadge Bell in the Strand . Epigram . These Bels are never told with Rope in Steeple , Yet there 's od Iangling , 'mongst od kind of people , And the●… 9 B●…at once are dayly Rung With 2. strange Clappers , Pewter and the Tongue . Bull head in Towerstreet Bull head in East-smithfield Bull head in Cheapeside Bull head in the Borough of Southwarke Bull head without Bishopsgate . Epigram . These Bull Heads nere had Bodyes I am sure , 'T is strange Heads without Bodies should endure : Yet t is not strange ; for though the Signe be dead , The Cellers foot below , holds up the Head. Bull-blacke in the Pallace at Westminster Bull-blacke in the Burrough of Southwarke Bull-red in Thames street neere Coleharbour Bull-red in Saint Iohns street . Epigram . These Bulls were never Calues , nor came of Kine , Yet at all seasons they doe yeeld good Wine , But those that suck these Buls more then they ought , Are Walthams Calues , much better fed than taught . Beare in the Pallace at Westminster Beare and Dolphin in Tower street Beare neere Fleetbridge Beare at the Bridgefoote in the Borough of Southwarke . Epigram . No Ravenous , Savadge , Cruell Beares are these , But Gentle , Milde , Delighting still to please : And yet they have a Tricke to Bite all such As Madly use their Company too much . Bores head in West-Smithfield Bores head behind the Exchange Bores head in East-Cheape Bores head at Criplegate Bores head in Old Fishstreet . Epigram . He that will lay a wager sure shall win , These Bores Heads shewes that Hogsheads are within He that doth doubt let him the Celler try , And t is much marvell if he come up dry , C. Crowne in West-Smithfield . Epigram . Within this Crowne hath many Crwnes been spent , Good Wine , Attendance good , and good Content : There 's Liquor of the best , from France and Spaine , Which makes this Crowne full weight above a Graine . Castle without Newgate Castle in Paternoster Row Castle in Cornehill Castle neere Pauls Chaine Castle behind Saint Clements neere the Strand Castle in Fleetstreet Castle in Bredstreet Castle in Woodstreet Castle in White Chapple . Epigram . T is oftentimes no Hazzard or Adventure , These Peacefull C●…les q●…tly to Enter : They are not built for Defence , or Offence , Yet all the Manhood is , in Going thence . Crosse White in Whitecrosse street Crosse Red in Redcrosse streete Crosse Taverne neere Charing Crosse. Epigram . When men are overprest with Cares and Losses , They may finde speedy Comfort in these Crosses : But such as beare no Crosses thither , then Small Reason , t is , they should be welcome men . Crosse Keyes in Bedford Berry , alias , Covent Garden Crosse Keyes in the Strand , neere Yorke , or Buckingham house Crosse Keyes in Holbourne . Epigram . These Keyes were never made to open Locks , Yet they may be the meanes to ope the Stocks : For he that drinkes , sweares , rores , fights , spewes and reeles Hang such a Rascall , lay him by the heeles . Cat in Long Lane. Epigram . Who scratcheth worst the Broker , or the Cat , Good honest Reader , prethee tell me that : The Broker scratches till a man be strip'd , For nothing every day the Catt is whip'd . Cardinals Hatt without Newgate Cardinalls Hatt in Cornehill . Epigram . The Cardinals hurt least , being farre away , And sure their Hatts will doe lesse hurt then they : We are much better pleasd , with the bare Signe , Then with the Hat , or Card'nall ; There 's good Wine Chequer in White Chappell Chequer in the Strand . Epigram . The Chequer square , doth many squares containe , And good square dealing there doth still remaine ; Provided that you to the Chequer bring Th'Exchequer Coine , the stamp of Queene or King. The Christopher at Clearkenwell , at Turnebull street end . Epigram . I Read that Christopher once usde the Trade , A mighty dangerous River o're to wade : And having left the Water , t is thought meet To set him up for Wine in Turnebull street . The Coopers hoope in Leadenhal street neere Limestreet . Epigram . Good Wine doth need no Bush , the Proverb sayes , And I have knowne that house three thousand dayes stoope . Without a Signe or Bush ; onely a Hoope Shewes there 's good Wine will make a strong man The Crane at Hoxton in the Parish of St Leonards Shoreditch . 3 Cranes in the Vintage 3 Cranes in the Powltry 3 Cranes in the Strand neere the Savoy Gate 3 Cranes in the Old Bayly 3 Cr nes in Chancery Lane 3 Cranes in Saint Olaves street 3 Cranes in the Borough of Southwarke . Epigram . The Cranes heau'd Wine ( from Water ) to the Cart , The Ca●… to th●…ie Cranes , hese Cranes to the Quart , And other Measures , Thus is Wine divided , And the divisions good , if not Misguided . 3 Cups in Holbourne . D. The Greene Dragon in Chepeside Dragon in Pauls Churchyard . Dragon in White Chappell Dragon on St Lamberts hill , and in Thames street , Dragon and Mermayde in Thames street , at the foot of Pauls hill Dragon in Southwarke , neere Saint Giorge's Church Dragon in Drury Lane Dragon in White Friers . Epigram . These Dragons onely bite and sting all such As doe immod'ratly haunt them too much : But those that use them well , from them shall finde Ioy to the Heart , and comfort to the Minde . Dog at Westminster Dog in Drury Lane Dog at Creede Lane end , neere Ludgate Dog within Newgate Dog in Chancery Lane. Epigram . These Dogs are very Tame , and free from Spight . And yet sometimes they dare their Masters bite : Exceeding Gentle , being not abusde , They bite when they are over-roughly vsde . Dolphin in Thames street neere Dowgate Dolphin in Old-Fish street . Epigram . By Nature ( as some famous Writers tell ) The Dolphin doth love Man and Musicke well : And at these Dolphins men may at their pleasure , Have Wine and Musicke , both in Time and Measure . St. Dunstane . Epigram . The Divell with Rorers in the house may Rore , The whilst good Dunston guards & keeps the doore ; But sure Apollo did with Bacchus Ioyne , That there 's kind Entertainment and good Wine . E. Spred Eagle in Grayes Inne Lane Eagle in Cow Lane. Epigram . The Eagles eye upon the Sunne dares stare , If other Birdes doe so , they blinded are : And men unto those Eagles Nests may come Cleare sighted , yet want sight ere they get home . F. Fountaine in Fleetstreet Fountaine in East-Smithfield Fountaine in Fanchurchstreet Fountaine in the Old Bayly Fountaine in the Strand neere the Savoy Fountaine in Saint Annes Lane ueere Aldersgate . Epigram . These Fountaines are not Proud , like many a knave , That brags of goodness , yet no Goodnes have : The Fountaines promise Water , yet affoord Good Wine , and so are better then their Word . Fleece in Bedford-Berry , Alias , the Covent Garden Fleece in Little Brittaine Fleece in Cornhill , neere Birchin Lane end . Epigram . In peace a Man may peecemeale venture Pieces , Spend Time and Coine , yet neuer win those Fleeces : But those that doe attempt with Moderation , Shall find the Hazzard but a Recreation . Faulcon on the Banke side Fanlcon in Rosemary Lane. Epigram . These Faulcons to the Lure did never stoope , Nor do they Mue , Mute , cast their Gorge , or Droope : Nor ever Mounted to the Sky ( past Ken ) Yet all their Game is still to pleasure M●…n . Fortune in Drury Lane Fortune in Golding Lane. Epigram . These Fortunes , are themselues nor good , or Ill , Nor ( like Dame Fortune ) are they Changing still : Yet do they make some Glad , some Sad , some Mad , And are as they are used , Good or Bad. The Flower De Lices in Finch Lane neere Cornehill . Epigram . French Flowers doth shew ther 's good French Wine to sell Which he that tries will find , and like it well : But if perchance your Pallat doe disgust it , Ther 's high and mighty Sacke , if you dare trust it . The Golden Field-Gate , at the upper end of Holborne . Epigram . All is not Gold that glisters here I say : This Gold Gate hath no Latch , Bolt , Locke , or Kay : Yet at all lawfull houres ( for lawfull Gaine ) T is open , honest Guests to entertaine . G. Globe in Fleetstreet Globe in Shorditch Globe in King street at Westminster . Globe in the Woolstaple at Westminster . The Globe in Thridneedle street Globe in little Eastcheape Globe neere Holbourne Barres . Criphon in White Chappell . Epigram . As the Celestiall Globe is various Mix'd With Starrs , some more , some Retrograde , some fix●… So in these lesser Globes , men are still Changing , Drunke , Sober , Mad , Sad , Merry , Reeling , Ranging , George in Turnbull street George in St Iohns streete George in Fleet Lane George within Aldgate George in White Friers Epigram . George is on Horsebacke Riding Day and Night , And with the Dragon in perpetuall fight : Which shewes that we should watch 'gainst fleshly evill , To ride the World , and Combate with the Devill . Greyhound without Creeplegate Greyhound in Bowlane Greyhound in the Blacke Fryers Greyhound in Fleetstreet Greyhound in Knightrider street . Greyhound in Southwarke , or the upper Ground . Epigram . These Greyhounds nere hunt Buck , nor course a Hare Instead of hunting , they still hunted are : And those that hunt them many times are bit , Lam'd in the Leggs , and Creepl'd in their VVit. Goate in Smithfield . Epigram , VVhen sicknesse doth man of his health deprive , Goates Milke is wholesome and preservative : And sure this Goare such Liquor doth containe , As can both Glad and Mad , Mans heart and braine . The Garter in Long Aker . Epigram . The Honorable Garter first did Spring From Famous Edward , Englands VVarlike King : He beat the French , and to requite his paine , French VVine hath ever since beat vs againe . The Grashopper in Threedneedle street , neere Finch Lane end . Epigram . This Grashopper is not a skipping Vermin , VVhose Glory with the Summer doth extermine : Nor Heate or Cold can change his hue or shape , T will live upon the Liquor of the Grape . H. The White Hart neere Charing Crosse. Hart in Shoreditch Hart in White Chappell Hart in Smithfield Hart in the Strand Hart in Tothill street at Westminster Hart at Hoxton in St Leonard Shoreditch Parish Hart at Drury Lane end neere Holbourne Hart without Bishopsgate . Epigram . Although these Harts doe never runne away . They 'le tire a Man to hunt them every day : The Game and Chase is good for Recreation , But dangerous to make 't an occupation The White Horse in Lumbard street Horse in Old Fish street Horse Flying in Woodstreet . Epigram . Quite contrary to other Horses , these Feed not on Grass , Hay , O●…tes , Bread , Beanes , or Pease : The cost is small , their Provender to buy , For all the Charges in the Drinke doth lye . The Harrow in Charterhouse Lane Harrow in Gracious street Harrow in Little Woodstreet Epigram . 'T is not a common use ( as most men know ) That men should goe to Harrow e're they sow : Yet here it is in fashion every day To Harrow first , and Sow when they doe pay . The Horshoe in Drury Lane Epigram . Hee were a cunning man that could declare , Whether this Shoe would best fit Horse or Mare : Those that will know , they may goe study there , And catch a Fox , and so be ne're the neere . The Hoope in Thame street , neere Saint Magnus Church Epigram . Here are not taught , Tricks , Sleights or active Feats , No Legerd ' maine , or Inggling sharking Cheats : Drink moderate when thy Pensive mind doth droop , Or quickly learne to Tumble in the Hoope . The Harts Hornes and Miter at the end of Carterlane , neere Black-friers The Horne in Fleetstreet Epigram . Hee that will whet his wit when it is dull , Drinke , for these Cornu copeia's still are full : But if you whet away the Steele , take heed , It will the Megrim and the Staggers breed . I. Saint Iohns of Ierusalem at Clerkenwell Epigram . Knights of Saint Iohn , Knights , Templers , Knights of Rhodes , And Malta's Knights ( there now is their Abodes ) And at this Place a House was built for them , Then call'd Saint Iohns House of Ierusalem . The Saint Iohns Head in Chauncery lane Iohns Head at Milks●… end Iohns Head neere Ludgate . Epigram . Hee that in all his life ne're car'd for Wine , For Wine his memory is made a Signe : Where such as to the Wine their lives doe wed , May lose their wit , although they keepe their head . K. The Kings head in Shoreditch Kings head in Saint Iohn street Kings head in Rose-mary lane , or King of Sweden Kings head in King street , at Westminster Kings head neere Leaden hall Kings head within Bishopsgate Kings head without Bishopsgate , neere the Spittle Kings head at the end of Canning street , or Walbrooke Kings head in Saint Clements lane neere Lumbardstreet Kings head in Pudding lane Kings head in new Fishstreet Kings head in old Fishstreet Kings head on Tower hill , or neere East-Smithfield . Kings head in Drury Lane. King of Swedens Head without Bishopsgate Kings head in the Strand Kings head in the Blacke Friers Kings head in Fleetstreet , at Chancery Lane ende . Kings head at Horsey Downe Kings head in Holbourne Kings head neere Alhallowes in Thamestreet Kings head at the West end of the Covent Garden , or Bedford berry . Epigram . These Painted Signes unto my view doth bring The Royall figure of a Mighty King : The fight whereef , should men to Temp'rance win , To come as sober out as they went in . The Katherin Wheele at Saint Katherins Katherin Wheele in Tothill street , at Westminster Epigram . It is a Custome ( e're since the beginning ) Women ( not Men ) should use the art of Spinning : But Spinning is not practis'd with this Wheele , Yet ( in short space ) 't will teach a man to Reele : The Kings Armes in Saint Martins lane , or Martins in the Fields Kings Armes in Cateaten street at Jronmonger lane end Kings Armes at Milford lane end , neere Saint Clements , Strand Kings Armes in the Burrough of Southwarke Kings Armes in Holbourne Kings Armes in Thridneedle street , neere Broadstreet Kings Armes in Saint Martins Epigram . To the Kings Armes , bring the Kings Armes I pray , For the Kings Armes must all the Reckoning pay : Without the Kings Armes , not the Kings Arms hant , Hee 's quite disarm'd that doth the Kings Arms want . L. The Golden Lyon neere York-house or Buckingham-house Lyon in Lincolnes Fields neere the Cockpit Lyon at Westminster in King street Lyon in Fetter Lane Lyon in the Strand Lyon in Silver street , neere Woodstreet The White Lyon at the end of Tower street , neere to the Hill Lyon in the Crottchet Friers Lyon in Canning street Lyon in Chancery Lane Lyon at the Mill-bank at Westminster The Red Lyon in Shoreditch Lyon at Billingsgate Lyon in Grasse street , or Gracious street Lyon neere Saint Georges Church in Southwarke Lyon at Saint Olaves Watergate in Southwarke . Epigram . These Lyons are exceeding milde and tame , Yet oft ( in Ieast ) they 'l claw a man starke lame : Play with them temperately , or looke to find , A Lyon in the end will shew his kind , The Lamb in Drury Lane Epigram . A harmlesse Signe of a most fruitfull Creature , Yet contrary to Sheep and Lambs by nature : They yield us cloathes to weare , and meat to live , And nothing else but drinke , this Lamb doth give . M. The halfe Moone in White Chappell Moone in the Minories Moone in Saint Katherins Moone in Aldersgate street Moone in the Strand The Man in the Moone in King street , at Westminster Man in the Moone in Che●…pe-side Epigram . Though these are but halfe Moones , yet to all such They are full Moones , that dare to drinke too much : The Moone is ever changing day and night , And hee 's a Man that stands i' th Moone upright . The Mouth at Bishopsgate Mouth within Aldersgate . Epigram . These Mouthes do ( like two Monsters ) live on Men , They swallow them , and put them out agen : They gape , yet bite not ; if they bite , I 'm sure They rankle not , my selfe have try'd the cure . The Saint Martin neere Charing-Crosse . Epigram . If it be true , some ancient Writers spoke , That Martin to a Begger gave his Cloake : Those that have Cloakes , let them this Taverne find , And there they and their Cloakes may well be lin'd . Mermayd in Shoe-lane Mermayd at Billingsgate Mermayd in Cornehill Mermayd in Cheapside Mermayd in Breadstreet Mermayd neere Charing-Crosse Mermayd in the Burrough of Southwarke Mermayd in Watling street neere Bow-lane Mermayd in Pater-noster-Row Mermayd at Aldersgate Epigram . This Mayd is strange ( in shape ) to Man's appearing , Shee 's neither Fish , or Flesh , nor good Red-hearing : What is shee then ? a Signe to represent Fish , Flesh , good Wine , with welcome and content . The Miter in Saint Stevens Alley at Westminster Miter neere Aldgate Miter in Loathbury at the end of Bartholmew-lane Miter in Fenchurch street Miter at the lower end of Cheapside Miter in Breadstreet Miter in Woodstreet Miter in the Strand , neere to Denmarke house Miter and Castle in Fleetstreet Miter in Saint Iohn street Epigram . These Miters have no Privilege from Rome , Nor are all Catholikes that to them come : No man's Religion here is call'd in question , Here 's Wine to glad the mind , and breed disgestion . The Maydenhead in Thames street , or Bush-lane Maydenhead and George in the upper ground in Surrey Maydenhead at Saint Giles in the fields Epigram . Virginity's a Vertue , much Renown'd , A Maydenhead once lost , can nere be found : But yet these Maydenheads ( with little cost ) May be both lost and found , and found and lost . N. Nags head at Clerkenwell Nags head in Saint Iohns street Nags head at Westminster Nags head at the corner , against Leaden-hall Nags head in Thames street neere the Customhouse Nags head in Cheape side Nags head neere Bassings hall Nags head without Temple Bar. Epigram . These head-strong heads all weathers will endure , And where you leave them , you may find them sure : They never kick or fling , yet with a trick They oft make sick men well , and sound men sick . P. The Princes Armes at Hoxton Princes Armes at Pauls Chaine Princes Armes at Saint Martins lane Princes Armes neere the Church at Westminster Princes Armes neere the Bouling Alley at Westminster Princes Armes over against Denmarke-house Princes Armes in Holborne Princes Armes in West-Smithfield Epigram . Oft in the Field these Royall Plumes have wav'd When Englands Foes have bin both bang'd & brav'd : In memory whereof , wee ever since Drinke Healthes to 'th Cambrian , or Great Britaines Prince . The Popes head neere Smithfield Pens Popes head in Moore●…elds Popes head in Cornhill Popes head in Chancery lane Epigram . These Popes heads are no Authors of Debate , Nor Schilmaricks , or ●…oublers of the State : Yet there 's good Clarret , and Sack Catholike Will make a Mad man Tame , a Tame man strike . The Pye at Aldgate Epigram . This Pye is dumb , yet oft shee makes folkes chatter Much , to small purpose , quite besides the matter : But temperate men excuse the harmlesse Pye , The fault is their's that drinke intemperately . The Peacocke in Thames street neere the old Swan Peacocke without Temple Bar Epigram . Though Argus eyes be in the Peacocks taile , A man may drinke there till his eye-sight faile : But if a man a good Decorum keepe , Hee 'l see the clearer , and more soundly sleepe . The Plough without Aldersgate Epigram . There 's many goes to Plough , and doe not know Where Corne ( upon the ground , or trees ) do grow : Beware therefore , and looke before thou leape , And Plough and sow no faster than thou Reape . Pauls head at Pauls Chaine Epigram . Paul's head an ancient Taverne , in request , Well Custom'd , loving to each honest Guest : But yet they care not for such Guests at all , As rob and rifle Peter to pay Panl . The Phenix in Long Aker Epigram . The rare Arabian Bird , expires in fire : Reviving , shee 's both Young , and Dam , and Sire : Then as the Phenix is by fire refin'd , So let the Phenix liquor cleare thy mind . The Pellican in Drury Lane Q. The Queenes head in West-smithfield Queeenes head in East-smithfield Queenes head againe in East-smithfield Queenes head in Queene street Queenes head in the Strand Queenes head in Bishopsgate street Queenes head in Thames street neere the Customhouse Queene Elinor's head at Queene hithe Queenes head in Pater-noster-row Queenes head neere Holborne Conduit Queenes head in Red-crossstreet Epigram . These Queenes heads like the Kings heads are , I see Both are one Sex , both Wood , both Painting be : There is but little difference in the Signes , And sure there is small odds amongst their Wines . The Queenes Armes in the Burrough of Southwarke Queenes Armes at the end of Saint Nicholas Shambles Epigram . The Queenes Armes and her Armies were renown'd , Eliza's Fame did fill the worlds wide Round : Through al her raign , France lov'd us , Spain did fear us And at her Armes are both their Wines to cheer us . R. The Rose at Fleet-bridge Rose in the Covent Garden , or Bedfordberry Rose in Saint Peters street at Westminster Rose against Barking Church , at the end of Tower street Rose at the Counter gate in the Powltry Rose in Newgate Market Rose in Shoreditch Rose at Temple Bar Rose in Thames street , neere the Tower dock Rose at the upper end of Holborne Epigram . Hee were a man of Art that had the skill Rose water from these Roses to distill : I know there 's good Rose Wine , but for Rose Water I oft have still'd , and still find no such matter . The Ram in Fleetstreet , at Ram Alley end Rams head in Saint Olaves in Southwark Epigram . At Ram or Rams head ( be it knowne to all ) Are Wines Predominant and Capitall , To set a Horse man quite beside the Saddle , And make a ●…ootman's Pericranion Addle . The Sun in Shoreditch Sun in White-chappell Sun in the Minories Sun in Old Fishstreet Sun in Sheere lane Sun at Westminster Sun neere Mooregate Sun neere Cripplegate Sun in Aldersgate street Sun in New Fishstreet Sun in Old street Sun in the Strand Sun in Holborne Epigram . The Grape is ripened with bright Phoebus Shine , Which shewes that at the Sun there is good wine : Beware of being Sun-burn't e're thou goe , Drink civilly , make not thy friend thy Foe . Star in the Minories Star at Chick lane end Star at Saint Katherins Star in Fenchurch street Star in Little Eastcheap Star in Cheap-side Star in Coleman street The 7 Stars by Smithfield Bars Epigram . Hee that by these eight Stars can Calculate , Iudge of Nativities , and descant Fate : Yet are their Influences good and bad , Some gaine wit by them , some lose that they had . The Ship in White-cross street Ship at the Posterne gate neere the Tower Ship at Saint Katherins Ship at Bermondsey house , or the Armes of Bristow Ship in the Dukes place neere London Wall Ship neere Saint Mary Ax Ship behind the Exchange Ship in Long Alley , neere Moore Fields Ship in Bishopsgate street Ship in Fenchurch street Ship neere Little Eastcheape at Rood lane end Ship in Thames street , at Trinity lane end Ship behind Old Fishstreet Ship in the Old Baily Ship in the Strand Ship on the Bankside Epigram . Here is a Fleet of Ships , ne're crost the Maine , To bring Commodities from France or Spaine : They ne're fear'd Tempest , Pyrat , Rock , or Wrack , Yet are wel fraight with French wine and good Sack. The Swan in White-cross street Swan in New Fishstreet Swan at Westminster Swan at Dowgate Swan in Knightrider street Swan in Old Fishstreet Swan in the Strand Swan at Saint Giles in the Fields Swan in Holbourne Epigram : These are strange Swans that neither swim or sinke , And all their maintenance is onely drinke : And I in lofty Verse his praise will sing , That can but pluck a Feather from their wing . The Shepherd in East-smithfield The Salutation in Tower street Salutation neere Billingsgate Salutation neere Mooregate , or London Wa●…l Salutation in the Strand Salutation in Montague Close , in Southwarke Salutation in Holbourne Epigram . When men doe meet , and courteously Salute , They at the Salutation may dispute : Some for their profit , some for their love or pleasure , Whilst all their wine is in and out of Measure . T. The 3 Tuns at Guild Hall gate 3 Tuns in Newgate Market 3 Tuns in Grass-street , or Gracious street 3 Tuns neere Charing-Crosse 3 Tuns in ●…eetstreet 3 Tuns in Pauls Church-yard 3 Tuns in Smithfield 3 Tuns in Petticoat Lane 3 Tuns at the Tower Hill 3 Tuns at Westminster 3 Tuns at Saint Mary Hill , neere Billingsgate 3 Tuns at Garlick hithe 3 Tuns in the Burrough of Southwarke 3 Tuns at the lower end of Great Woodstreet 3 Tuns neere Holbourne Bridge 3 Tuns on the Bank-side The Tun neere the Banke-end in Southwarke The Tun in Thames street , against the Customhouse Epigram . These Tuns proclame there 's Tuns of Wine below , Goe in and welcome , try , and you shall know : There shall you see a plenteous Spring that runs From Pipes , Buts , Hogsheads , from the liberall Tuns . Turnstile in Holbourne Epigram . A Turn-stile is a Bar to keepe out Beast●… , Which oft times hath more reason than the Guests : When Wine makes men the Rules of Reason passe , They 'r far inferiour to Oxe , Horse , or Asse . A Taverne with a Bush and no Signe , under the new Burse Taverne with a Bush and no Signe , in Milford lane Two Tavernes in the Tower of London Epigram . Where no Signe is , 't is no ill Signe to mee , Where no Signe is , 't is no good Signe to see : But though the Signes are neither good nor bad , There 's Win●… , Good , Bad , Indifferent , to be had . V. The Vineyard in Queenes street Vintage neere the 3 Granes in the Vintrey Epigram . The Vineyard doth the iu●…ods Grapes produce , The Vintage Presseth , and makes Wine their Iuce : If these yield no good Wine , I must say still , The Vineyard's Barren , and the Vintage Ill. Venice , the Signe neere Saint Clements without Temple-bar Epigram . The Citty Venice ( Strong and Opulent ) Fam'd from the Orient , to the Occident : And sure the Signe of such a Noble Citty Affords good Wine , or else the more 's the pitty . W. The two Wrastlers in Lincolns Inne Fields Epigram . Wrastling is held a Manly exercise , A Game Olimpick , both for Praise and Prize : But hee that is most Skilfull , Strong or Tall , And Wraftles with the Wine , shall surely Fall. The White Horse in Nicholas Shambles The Windemill in Loathbury Epigram . No Meale-mouth'd Miller keepes this Mill I know , And let the wind blow either high or low , Hee 's kindly taking Toll , and at his Mill Is Wine exceeding good , and Welcome still . Besides these Tavernes before mentioned , there are foure Houses in London that doe sell Rhennish Wine , inhabited onely by Dutchmen ; namely , THe Stilliyard . The Swan in Thames street The Swan in Crooked lane The Sun at Saint Mary Hill Epigram . Here 's the bright Christall rincing Rhennish Drink , The salt dry'd Neats-tongue , and West-phalia skink : The Pickled Herring , and th' Anchovea rare : And ( if you please ) Potarbo , or Caveare . They deale in Deale wine , and their dealing 's Iust ; And though their Faith be good , they seldom Trust. THus ( Gentle Reader ) I have ran a Course That would have tyr'd ( per haps have kild ) a Horse : For if the winged Pegasus ( like Mee ) Had watred been , h 'had had no eyes to see : Or if Bucephalus had trotted so , Hee had been lam'd and founder'd long agoe . Yet is my Task not done , for I must Play A Second Part before I have my Pay : Which Second Part shall to your view declare The Tavernes in ten Shires , and where they are ; Within what County , in what Towne , what Signe , Or else ( if not what Signe ) who sels the Wine . The Cou●…ties are , Brave Barkshire , Hampshire , Essex , Kent , Surrey , Hartford , Middlesex , and Sussex ; With Buckingham and Oxford ; these are they Which in my Second Part I must display . FINIS . 
A13513	----	Three vveekes, three daies, and three houres obseruations and trauel, from London to Hamburgh in Germanie amongst Iewes and gentiles, with descriptions of townes and towers, castles and cittadels, artificiall gallowses, naturall hangmen: and dedicated for the present, to the absent Odcombian knight errant, Sr. Thomas Coriat. Great Brittaines error, and the worlds mirror. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1617 Approx. 58 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 22 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13513 STC 23807 ESTC S118268 99853475 99853475 18858 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13513) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18858) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 977:16) Three vveekes, three daies, and three houres obseruations and trauel, from London to Hamburgh in Germanie amongst Iewes and gentiles, with descriptions of townes and towers, castles and cittadels, artificiall gallowses, naturall hangmen: and dedicated for the present, to the absent Odcombian knight errant, Sr. Thomas Coriat. Great Brittaines error, and the worlds mirror. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [42] p. Printed by Edward Griffin, and are to be sold by George Gybbs at the signe of the Flower-deluce in Pauls Church yard, London : 1617. Signatures: A-E⁴ F² (-A1). Running title reads: Taylors trauels. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Germany -- Description and travel -- Early works to 1800. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion ●●ree VVeekes , three daies , and three houres OBSERVATIONS AND TRAVEL , FROM LONDON to HAMBVRGH in Germanie : Amongst Iewes and Gentiles , with Descriptions of Townes and Towers , Castles and Cittadels , artificiall Gallowses , Naturall Hangmen : And Dedicated for the present , to the absent Odcombian Knight Errant , S r. THOMAS CORIAT , Great Brittaines Error , and the worlds Mirror . By IOHN TAYLOR . LONDON , Printed by EDWARD GRIFFIN , and are to be sold by GEORGE GYBBS at the signe of the Flower-deluce in Pauls Church yard . 1617. TO THE COSMOgraphicall , Geographicall describer , Geometricall measurer ; Historiographicall Calligraphicall Relater and Writer ; Enigmaticall , Pragmaticall , Dogmaticall Obseruer , Ingrosser , Surueyer and Eloquent Brittish Graecian Latinist , or Latine Graecian Orator , the Odcombyan Deambulator , Perambulator , Ambler , Trotter , or vn-tyred Traueller , Sir THOMAS CORIAT , Knight of Troy , and one of the deerest darlings to the blinde Goddesse Fortune . MOst worthy Sir , as Quintilian in his Apothegmes to the naked , learned , Gimnosophists of AEthiopia , very wittily saies , Potanto Machyo corbatio monomosco kayturemon Lescus , Ollipuff tingere whingo : which is , knowledge is a main Antithesis to ignorance , and paines and trauell is the high way to experience . I being therefore well acquainted with the generous vrbanity innated or rooted in your humanity , ( in these daies of vanity , ) I dedicate ( out of my affability , debility , ability , imbecillity , facility , or agility , ) this poore Pamphlet to your nobility , in all seruility and humility : not doubting but the fluent fecundity of your wisdomes profundity , in your heads rotundity , will conserue , reserue , preserue , and obserue , what I & my industrious labors deserue . I do ( out of mine owne cognition ) auerre and abett , that hee is senselesse that will assent , that the Fates did assigne , with their whole assistance , that any should aspire , to be an associate in any assembly , boldly to assimulate , assay , assault , or ascribe to any mortall but your selfe , superlatiue maiority or transcendency for trauels , obseruations , and oratorie . These things being reuolued and ruminated , in the sagacitie or acutenesse of my Pericranion , I imagined that no man vnder the Cope was more worthy then your selfe to be a Patronizing Poplar to shelter my poore reed-like endeuors . Howsoeuer in the preterlapsed occurrences there hath beene an Antagonisticall repugnancy betwixt vs , yet I hope time and trauell hath worne it thred-bare , or brought it to a most irrecouerable consumption ; withall I know you are vncapable of inexpugnable malice , inueterate malignancy or emulation . I protest tongue-tide taciturnity should haue imprisoned this worke in the Lethargicall dungeon , or bottomlesse Abisse of euer-sleeping obliuion , but that I am confident of your patronage and acceptance , which if it fall out ( not according to any Promerits of mine ) but out of mine owne expectation of your matchles and vnparalelld disposition , I shall heereafter sacrifice whole Hecatombs of inuention both in Prose and Verse , at the shrine of your vnfellowed and vnfollowed vertues . So wishing more to see you then to heare from you , because writers want worke , and the Presse is turned voluntarie through the scarcity of imployments , which I hope your presence will supply , I pray that Neptune , AEolus , Tellus , Bacchus , and all the watery , windy , earthly , and drinking Deities may be officious , auspicious , and delicious vnto you , humbly imploring you to take in good part this my sophisticall , paradoxicall , submission , with a mentall reseruation of my loue and seruice , to sympathize or be equiualent to your kind liking and corroborated affecting . He that hath a poore muse to trot in your seruice with all obsequious obseruance : IOHN TAYLOR . Three weekes , three daies , and three houres trauels and Obseruations . OR , TAYLORS TRAVELS . SAturday the 17. of August , 1616. ( after I had taken leaue of some friends that would hardly giue me leaue to leaue them ) I was associated with fiue or sixe courteous Comrades to the Hauen of Billingsgate , where I was no sooner come , but I was shipt in a wherry for the port of Graues-end , and hauing two women and three men in my company thither , we past the way away by telling tales by turnes . Where one of the women tooke vpon her very Logically to defend the honesty of Brokers , and she maintained her Paradoxicall Arguments so pithily , as if her selfe like a desperate pawne had layen seauen yeares in Lauender on sweetning in long Lane , or amongst the dogged inhabitants of Houndsditch . And one of the men replied that he thanked God he neuer had any need of them , whereupon I began to suspect him to be a crafty knaue , because the Prouerbe saies , A crafty knaue needs no broker , and indeede after I had enquired what countriman he was , he told me he was a Welch man , and a Iustices Clarke . I left him as I found him , hoping neuer to be troubled with his binding ouer , and withdrawing : and so landing at Graues-end , wee all went to the Christopher where wee tooke a Bachanalian farewell one of another , where I remained till the Munday following , awayting the comming downe of the ship that I was to be transported in . About the houre of three in the afternoone , with good hope we weighed Anchor , and with a curteous tide and a gentle winde we sailed downe the riuer of Thames , as farre as the grand Oyster hauen of Quinborough , where though our ship was not Sea-sicke , yet shee cast , ( Anchor I meane . ) On the morrow , being Tuesday , wee weighed , and with the friendly breath of Zephirus , aliâs a Westerne wind , our sailes being swolne , our ship called the Iudith , who with her sterne cut the liquid mounting mountaines of Neptunes wauering territories , as nimbly as Hebrew Iudith beheaded Holofernes , so that by the bountifull fauour of him that rules both Windes and Seas , on the Thursday following wee espied the coast of Freezeland , and the next day wee sailed by an Iland called the Holy Land , which may bee called the Land of Lobsters , or the Countrie of Crabs for the plentie of those kinde of crawling creatures that are taken there . But we , taking time by the fore-top , let no aduantage slip , but with a merry Gale , and a friendly floud , on the Friday wee sailed vp the Riuer of Elue , as farre as Stoad , where we Anchoured till the morrow , being Saturday , and the feast of S. Bartholmew the Apostle , we ariued at a bleake aliâs , a towne an English mile from Hamburgh , called Altonagh , which is so called by the Hamburgers because it stands all-too-nigh them for their profit , beeing inhabited with diuers tradesmen which doe hinder their freedome . I was no sooner landed there , but my company and my selfe went to a Dutch drinking-schoole , and hauing vpsefreez'd foure pots of boone beere as yellow as gold , our host said we had foure shilling to betall , or to pay , which made me suspect it to bee a bawdy house by his large reckoning , till at last I vnderstood that the shillings hee meant were but stiuers , or three halfe pence a peece . So this terrible shot being discharged ( which in the totall amounted to the sum of sixepence English , ) we departed towards Hamburgh , where by the way I noted some 20. men , women , and children in diuers places of Altonagh , all deformed , some with one eye , some with hare-lips , crooke backt , splay footed , halfe-nozed , or one blemish or other . I admiring at them , was told they were all Iewes , wherein I perceiued the Iudgement of the high Iudge of all , that had permitted Nature to deforme their formes , whose Gracelesse mindes were so much mishapen through want of Grace . But I being entred the City of Hamburgh on the Saturday , I was presently conducted to the English house , where I found a kinde Host , an honest hostesse , good company , store of meat , more of drinke , a true Tapster , and sweet lodging . And being at dinner , because I was a stranger , I was promoted to the chiefest place at the Table , where to obserue an olde custome , euery man did his best endeuour to hauns me for my welcome , which by interpretation is to giue a man a loafe too much out of the Brewers basket ; in which kinde of Pot-shot , our English are growne such stout Proficients , that some of them dares bandy and contend with the Dutch their first teachers . But after they had hanced me as well as they could , and I pleas'd , they administred an oath to mee , in manner and forme as followeth ; Laying my hand on a full pot I sweare by these contents , and all that is heerein contained , that by the courteous fauour of these Gentlemen , I doe finde my selfe sufficiently hanced , and that henceforth euer I shall acknowledge it ; and that whensoeuer I shall offer to be hanced again , I shall arme my selfe with the craft of a Fox , the manners of a Hogge , the wisdome of an Asse , mixt with the ciuility of a Beare . This was the forme of the oath , which as neere as I can shall be performed on my part ; and heere is to be noted that the first word a Nurse or a Mother doth teach her children if they be males , is Drinke , or Beere : So that most of them are transformed to Barrels , Firkins , and Kinderkins , alwaies fraight with Hamburgh beere . And though the City is not much more then halfe the bignes as London is within the walls , yet are there in it almost 800. Brewhouses , and in one day there hath beene shipped away from thence , 337. brewings of Beere , besides 13 or 14. brewings haue beene wrackt or stayed in the towne , as not sufficient to be bezelled in the Country . The Saturday beeing thus past , and Sunday come , I went toward the English Church , where I obserued many shops open , buying and selling , chopping and changing of all maner of wares , with the streetes furnished with Apples , Peares , Plums , Nuts , Grapes , or any thing else that an ordinary Market can afford , as commonly as if the Sabbaoth were but a bare ceremony without a Commandement . In which I note the Iewes in their execrable superstition , to be more deuout and obseruant , then these Pedlars in their profession ; for on the Saturday ( beeing the Iewes Sabaoth ) they neglect all humane affares ▪ and betake themselues irreligiously to their misbeleeuing faithlesse religion . The Sermon being ended at the English Church , I walked in the afternoone with a friend of mine , ( an Inhabitant of the Towne ) to see and to be seene , where at one of the gates was placed a strong guard of Souldiers with Muskets , Pikes , Halberts , and other warlike accoutrements , I asked the cause , and I was informed it was because of the building of certaine new mounts and Bulwarks , which were partly erected without the old wall : And when I perceiued these fortifications , I was amazed , for it is almost incredible for the number of men and horses that are daily set on worke about it , besides the work it selfe is so great that it is past the credit of Report , and as I suppose will prooue most inexpugnable and inuincible Rampiers to strengthen the Towne on that side against the inuasiue attempts of the greatest Monarke that should assaile them . But after much musing , walking further towards the fields , I espied foure or fiue pretty parcels of modesty goe very friendly into a counsell-house by the wayes side , as we and thousands of people vsed to passe ; they were handsome young Girles of the age of 18. or 20. yeares a peece , and although they had a door to shut , yet they knowing their businesse to bee necessary and naturall , sate still in louing and neighbourly manner : so hauing traced a turne or two , wee returned into the Towne againe , and entring a long Garden within the walls , some of the Townes-men were shooting for wagers at a marke with their muskets : some bowling : some at slide-thrift , or shouell-boord : some dancing before a blinde fidler and his cowbellied , dropsie , durty drabb : some at one game , some at another , most of them drinking , and all of them drunke , that though it was a Sabboth , which should wholly be dedicated to God , yet by the abvse of these bursten-gutted bibbers , they made it an after-noone consecrated , or more truely execrated to the seruice of hell , and to the great amplification of the Deuills kingdome . When Christians dare Gods Sabboth to abuse , They make themselues a scorne to Turkes and Iewes : You stealing Barabasses beastly Race , Rob God of glory , and your selues of Grace . Thinke on the supreame Iudge who all things tries , When Iewes in Iudgement shall against you rise . Their feigned trueth , with feruent Zeale they show , The Truth vnfeign'd you know , yet will not know . Then at the Barre in new Ierusalem , It shall be harder much for you then them . But leauing them to their drunken designes , I return'd toward my lodging , where by the way I saw at the common Iayle of the town , a great number of people were clustred together , I asked the cause of their concourse , and I was certified that there was a Prisoner to be broken vpon the wheele the next day , and that these idle Gazers did prease to gape vpon him for want of better imployments , I being as inquisitiue after nouelties , as a Traueller of my small experience might be , enquired earnestly the true cause of the next daies execution : my friend told me that the Prisoner was a poore Carpenter dwelling in the Towne , who lately hauing stolne a Goose , and plucking it within his doores , a little Girle , ( his daughter in Law ) went out of his house , & left the dore open , by which meanes , the owner of the Goose passing by , espied the wretched theefe very diligently picking what hee before had beene stealing , to whom the owner said ; Neighbour I now perceiue which way my Geese vse to goe , but I will haue you in question for them , and so away he went : the Caitife being thus reproued grew desperate , and his child comming into his house ; ye yong whore , quoth hee , must ye leaue my dore open for folkes to looke in vpon me ? and with that word , hee tooke a Hatchet , and with a fatall cursed stroake , he cloue the childes head : for the which murder hee was condemned and iudged to be broaken aliue vpon the wheele . Close to the Iayle I espied a house of free stone , round and flat roofed , and leaded , vpon the which was erected the true picture of a most vnmatchable Hang-man ; and now I am entred into a discourse of this braue abiect , or subiect , you must vnderstand that this fellow is a merry , a mad and a subsidie hangman , to whom our Tyburne Tatterdemallian , or our Wapping windpipe-stretcher , is but a Raggamuffin , not woorth the hanging : for this teare-throat Termagant is a fellow in Folio , a commander of such great command , & of such greatnesse to command , that I neuer saw any that in that respect could countermand him : For his making is almost past description , no Saracens head seemes greater , and sure I thinke his braine-pan if it were emptied , ( as I thinke hee hath not much braine in it , ) would well containe halfe a bushell of mault , his shaggie haire and beard would stuffe a Cusheon for Charons boate , his Imbost nose and embroydered face , would furnish a Ieweller ; his eies well dried , would make good Tennis-balls , or shot for a small peece of Ordinance , his yawning mouth would serue for a Conniborrow , and his two ragged rowes of teeth , for a stone wall , or a Pale ; then hath hee a necke like one of Hercules his pillars , with a winde-pipe , ( or rather a beere pipe ) as bigge as the boare of a Demiculuering , or a woodden pumpe ; through which conduit halfe a brewing of Hamburgh beere doth run downe into his vnmeasurable paunch , wherein is more midriff , guts and garbage then three tripe-wiues could be able to vtter before it stunke . His post-like legges were answerable to the rest of the great frame which they supported , and to conclude , sir Beuis , Ascapart , Gogmagog , or our English sir Iohn Falstaff , were but shrimpes to this bezzeling Bombards longitude , latitude , altitude , and crassitude , for hee passes , and surpasses the whole Germane multitude . And as he is great in corpulency , so is he powerfull in potency , for figuratiuely he hath spirituall resemblance of Romish authority , and in some sort hee is a kinde of demy-Pope , for once a yeere in the dogge-daies he sends out his men with bats in stead of Buls , with full power from his greatnes to knocke downe all the curs without contradiction , whose masters or owners will not be at the charge to buy a pardon for them of his mightines , which pardon is more dureable then the Popes of waxe or parchment , for his is made of a piece of the hide of an Oxe , a Horse , or such lasting stuffe , which with his stigmaticall stampe or seale is hanged about euery dogs necke who is freed from his furie by the purchase of his pardon . And sure I am perswaded that these dogges are more sure of their liues with the hangmans pardon , then the poore besotted blinded Papists are of their seduced soules from any pardon of the Popes . The priuiledges of this graund haulter-master are many , as he hath the emptying of all the vaults or draughts in the city , which no doubt he gaines some sauour by . Besides all Oxen , Kine , Horses , Hogs , Dogs , or any such beasts , if they dye themselues , or if they be not like to liue , the hang-man must knocke them on the heads , and haue their skins : and whatsoeuer inhabitant in his iurisdiction doth any of these things aforesaid himselfe , is abhorred and accounted as a villaine without redemption . So that with hangings , headings , breakings , pardoning and killing of dogges , flaying of beasts , emptying vaults , and such priuy commodities , his whole reuenue sometimes amounts to 4. or 5. hundred pounds a yeere . And hee is held in that regard and estimation , that any man will conuerse and drinke with him , nay sometimes the Lords of the Towne will feast with him , and it is accounted no impeachment to their honours ; for he is held in the ranke of a Gentleman , ( or a ranke Gentleman ) and he scornes to bee clad in the cast weedes of executed offenders : No , he goes to the Mercers , and hath his Sattin , his Veluet , or what stuffe he pleases , measured out by the yard or the ell , with his gould and siluer lace , his silke stockings , laced spangled garters and roses , hat and feather with foure or fiue brauè villaines attending him in Liuery cloakes , who haue stipendary meanes from his ignominious bounty . Monday the 19. of August , about the houre of 12. at noone , the people of the towne in great multitudes flocked to the place of execution ; which is halfe a mile English without the gates , built more like a sconce then a Gallowes , for it is walled and ditched about with a draw-bridge , and the prisoner came on foot with a Diuine with ●im , all the way exhorting him to repentance , and because death should not terrifie him , they had giuen him many rowses and carowses of wine and beere : for it is the custome there to make such poore wretches drunke , whereby they may be sencelesse eyther of Gods mercy or their owne miserie ; but being prayed for by others , they themselues may die resolutely , or ( to be feared ) desperately . But the prisoner beeing come to the place of death , hee was by the officers deliuered to the hangman , who entring his strangling fortification with two graund hangmen more and their men , which were come from the city of Lubeck , and another towne , ( which I cannot name ) to assist their Hamburghian brother in this great and weighty worke : the draw-bridge was drawne vp , and the prisoner mounted on a mount of earth , built high on purpose that the people without may see the execution a quarter of a mile round about : foure of the hangmans men takes each of them a small halter , and by the hands and the feet they hold the prisoner extended all abroad lying on his backe : then the Arch-hangman , or the great Master of this mighty busines tooke vp a wheele , much about the bignesse of one of the fore wheeles of a Coach : and first hauing put off his doublet , his hat , and being in his shirt as if he meant to play at tennis , he tooke the wheele , and set it on the edge , and turned it with one hand like a top or a whirigigg , then he tooke it by the spoaks , and lifting it vp with a mighty stroke he beat one of the poore wretches leggs in peeces , ( the bones I meane ) at which hee rored grieuously ; then after a little pawse he breakes the other legg in the same manner , and consequently breakes his armes , and then he stroke foure or fiue maine blowes on his breast , and burst all his bulke and chest in shiuers , lastly he smoate his necke , and missing , burst his chin and iawes to mammocks ; then hee tooke the broken mangled corps , and spreads it on the wheele , and thrusts a great post or pile into the Naue or hole of the wheele , and then fixed the post into the earth some sixe foot deepe , being in height aboue the ground , some tenne or twelue foote , and there the carkasse must lye till it be consumed by all-consuming time , or rauening fowles . This was the terrible manner of this horrid execution , and at this place are twenty posts with those wheeles , or peeces of wheeles , with heads of men nailed on the top of the posts , with a great spike driuen through the skull . The seuerall kinds of torments which they inflict vpon offenders in those parts , makes me to imagine our English hanging to be but a flea-biting . Moreouer , if any man in those parts are to be beheaded , the fashion is , that the Prisoner kneeles downe , and being blinded with a Napkin , one takes hold of the haire of the crowne of the head , holding the party vpright , whilest the hangman with a backward blow with a sword will take the head from a mans shoulders so nimbly , and with such dexterity , that the owner of the head shall neuer misse the want of it . And if it be any mans fortune to be hanged for neuer so small a crime , though he be mounted whole , yet hee shall come downe in peeces , for he shall hang till euery ioynt and limbe drop one from another . They haue strange torments and varieties of deaths , according to the various nature of the offences that are committed : as for example , he that countersets any Princes coyne , and is prooued a Coyner , his iudgement is to be boyled to death in oyle , not throwne into the vessell all at once , but with a pully or a Rope to bee hanged vnder the Armepits , and let downe into the oyle by degrees : first the feete , and next the legs , and so to boyle his flesh from his bones aliue . For those that set houses on fire wilfully , they are smoked to death , as first there is a pile or post fixed in the ground , and within an English Ell of the top of it is a peece of wood nailed crosse , wherepuon the offender is made fast sitting , then ouer the top of the post is whelmed a great tub or Dryfat , which doth couer or ouerwhelme the prisoner as low as his middle . Then vnderneath the executioner hath wet straw , hay , stubble , or such kinde of stuffe , which is fired , but by reason it is wet and danke , it doth not burn but smolder and smoake , which smoake ascends vp into the tub where the Prisoners head is , and not being able to speake , hee will heaue vp and downe with his belly , and people may perceiue him in these torments to liue three or foure houres , Adultery there , if it bee prooued , is punished with death , as the losse of both the parties heads , if they be both married , or if not both , yet the the married party must dye for it , and the other must endure some easier punishment , eyther by the purse or carkasse ; which in the end proues little better then halfe a hanging . But as after a tempest a calme is best welcome ; so I imagine it not amisse after all this tragicall harsh discourse , to sweeten the Readers pallat with a few Comicall reports which were related vnto me , wherein , if I seeme fabulous , it must be remembred that I claime the priuiledge of a traueller , who hath authority to report all that hee heares and sees , and more too . I was informed of a fellow that was hanged somewhat neere the high way , within a mile or two of Collein , and the fashion being to hang him with a halter and a chaine , that when the haulter is rotten with the weather , the carkasse drops a butten hole lower into the chaine . Now it fortuned that this fellow was executed on a winters afternoone towards night , and being hanged , the chaine was shorter then the halter , by reason whereof hee was not strangled , but by the gamming of the chaine which could not slip close to his necke , he hanged in great torments vnder the Iawes , it happened that as soone as hee was trust vp , there fell a great storme of raine and winde , whereupon all the people ran away from the Gallowes to shelter themselues . But night being come , and the moone shining bright , it chanced that a Country Boore , or a waggoner and his Sonne with him were driuing their empty waggon by the place where the fellow was hanged , who being not choaked , in the extremity of his paines did stirre his legges and writhe and crumple his body , which the waggoners Sonne perceiued , and said ; Father looke , the man vpon the Gallowes doth mooue : quoth the olde man he moues indeed , I pray thee let vs make hast , and put the Waggon vnder the Gibbet , to see if we can vnhang and saue him . This beeing said was quickely done , and the wretch halfe dead was laid in straw in the Boores wagon , and carried home , where with good attendance he was in foure or fiue daies recouered to his health , but that he had a cricke in his necke , and the crampe in his iawes . The olde man was glad that he had done so good a deed , ( as he thought ) began to giue the thiefe Fatherly counsell , and told him that it was Gods great mercy towards him to make mee ( quoth he ) the Instrument of thy deliuerance , and therefore looke that thou make good vse of this his gracious fauour towards thee , and labour to redeeme the time thou hast mispent , get thee in-into some other Princes countrey , where thy former crimes may not bring thee into the danger of the Law againe , and there with honest industrious endeuours get thy liuing . The theefe seemed willing to entertaine these good admonitions , and thanked the Boore and his Sonne , telling them that the next morning he would be gone ▪ and if euer his fortunes made him able , he promised to be so gratefull vnto them that they should haue cause to say their great curtesies were well bestowed vpon him ▪ but all his sugred sweet promises , were in the proofe but Gall and wormwood in the performance : for this gracelesse Caitiffe arose betimes in the morning , and drew on a paire of Bootes and spurs which were the mans sonnes of the house , and slipping out of the dores , went to the stable and stole one of his kinde hosts best horses , and away rode hee . The man and his Sonne , when they were vp and missed the thiefe and the horse , were amazed at the ingratitude of the wretch , and withall speed his sonne and he rode seuerall waies in pursuit of him , and in briefe one of them tooke him , and brought him backe to their house againe , and when it was night they bound him , and laid him in their wagon ( hauing deafe eares , and hardened hearts to all his intreaties ) and away to the Gallowes where they found him hanging , there they with the halter being a little shortned , they left him . The next day the Country people wondred to see him hanging there againe , for they had seene him hanged , and missed him gone , and now to be thus strangely and priuately come againe in boots and spurs , whereas they remembred at his first hanging he had shoes and stockings , it made them muse what iourney he had beene riding , and what a mad Ghest he was to take the Gallowes for his Inne , or ( as I suppose ) for his end . The rumour of this accident being bruited abrood , the people came far and neere to see him , all in generall wondring how these things should come to passe . At last , to cleere all doubts , proclamations were published with pardon , and a reward to any that could discouer the truth , wherupon the old Boore and Sonne came in and related the whole circumstance of the matter . At another place ( the hangmans place being void ) there were two of the bloud , ( for it is to be noted that the succession of that office doth lineally descend from the Father to the Sonne , or to the next of the bloud ) which were at strife for the possession of this high indignity . Now it happened that two men were to be beheaded at the same towne , and at the same time , and ( to auoid suite in Law for this great prerogatiue ) it was concluded by the Arbitrators , that each of these new hangmen should execute one of the prisoners , and hee that with greatest cunning and sleight could take the head from the body , should haue the place , to this they all agreed , & the Prisoners were brought forth , where one of the Executioners did binde a red silke thred double about his prisoners necke , the threds beeing distant one from another onely the bredth of one thred , and he promised to cut off the head with a backward blow with a sword , betweene the threds . The other called his prisoner aside , and told him that if he would bee ruled by him , hee should haue his life saued , and besides , ( quoth he ) I shall be sure to haue the office . The Prisoner was glad of the motion , and said he wold doe any thing vpon these conditions , then said the hangman , when thou art on thy knees , and hast said thy prayers , and that I doe lift vp my Axe , ( for I will vse an Axe ) to strike thee , I will cry Hem , at which word doe thou rise and run away , ( thou knowest none will stay thee if thou canst once escape after thou art deliuered into my custody , it is the fashion of our countrie ) and let me alone to shift to answer the matter . This being said , or whispered , the heads-man with the sword did cut off his prisoners head iust betweene the threds as hee had said , which made all the people wonder at the steddinesse of his hand , and most of them iudged that he was the man that was and would be fittest to make a mad hangman of . But as one tale is good till another be told , and as there be three degrees of good , better , and best , so this last hangman did much exceed and ecclips the others cunning : For his prisoner being on his knees , and he lifting vp his axe to giue the fatall blow , Hem said he ( according to promise ) whereupon the fellow arose and ran away , but when he had ran some seuen or eight paces , the hangman threw the axe after him , and strooke his head smoothly from his shoulders : now for al this , who shall haue the place is vnknowne , for they are yet in Law for it ; and I doubt not but before the matter be ended , that the lawyers will make them exercise their owne trades vpon themselues to end the controuersie . This tale doth sauour somwhat hyperbolicall , but I wish the Reader to beleeue no more of the matter then I saw , and there is an end . At another Towne there stood an olde ouerworne despised paire of Gallowes , but yet not so old but they will last many a faire yeare with good vsage , but the Townsmen a little distance from them built another pair , in a more stately Geometricall port and fashion , whereupon they were demanded why they would be at the charge to erect a new Gallowes , hauing so sufficient an old one : they answered , that those old Gallowes should serue to hang fugitiues and strangers ; but those new ones were built for them and their heires for euer . Thus much for Hangmen , Theeues , and Gallowses . Yet one thing more for theeues : In Hamburgh those that are not hanged for theft , are chained 2. or three together , and they must in that sort sixe or seauen yeares draw a dung-cart , and clense the streetes of the towne , & euery one of those theeues for as many yeares as he is condemned to that slauery , so many bells he hath hanged at an iron aboue one of his shoulders , and euery yeare a bell is taken off , till all are gone , and then he is a freeman againe , and I did see ten or twelue of these Carts , and some of the theeues had seuen bels , some 5. some 6. some one , but such a noyse they make , as if all the Deuils in hell were dancing the morrice . Hamburgh is a free City , not being subiect to the Emperor , or any other Prince , but onely gouerned by 24 Burgomasters , whereof two are the chiefe , who are clled Lords , adn doe hold that dignity from their first election during their liues ; The buildings are all of bricke , of one vniforme fashion , very lofty and stately , it is wonderfull populous , and the water with boates comes through most of the streetes of the Towne . Their Churches are most gloriously set forth , as the most of them couered with copper , with very lofty spires , and within sides they are adorned with crucifixes , Images and pictures , which they doe charily keepe for ornaments , but not for idle or idoll adoration ; In Saint Iacobs and in Saint Catherines Churches , there is in one of them a Pulpit of Alablaster , and in the other a paire of such Organs , which for worth and workemanship are vnparalelld in Christendome , as most trauellers doe relate . The women there are no fashion-mongers , but they keepe in their degrees one continuall habite , as the Richer sort doe weare a Huicke , which is a robe of cloth or stuffe plaited , and the vpper part of it is gathered and sowed to a thing in the forme of an English potlid , with a tassell on the top , and so put vpon the head , and the garment goes ouer her ruffe and face if she please , and so down to the ground , so that a man may meet his owne wife , and perhaps not know her from another Woman . They haue no Porters to beare burdens , but they haue bigge burly-bon'd knaues with their wiues that doe daily draw Carts any whether vp and downe the towne , with Marchants goods or any other imployments : And it is reported that these Cart-drawers are to see the rich men of the Towne prouided of milch-nurses for their children , which nurses they call by the name of Ams , so that if they doe want a nurse at any time , these fellowes are cursed , because they haue not gotten wenches enough with childe to supply their wants . But if a man of any fashion doe chance to goe astray to a house of iniquity , the whilst he is in the house at his drudgery , another of the whores will go to the Sherif , ( which they call the Rightheere ) and informe that such a man is in such a suspected howse , then is his comming forth narrowly watched , and hee is taken and brought before the Right-heere , and examined , where if he be a man of credit , he must , and will pay forty , fifty , or sixty Rex Dollors before hee will haue his reputation called in question . Of which money , the queane that did informe shall haue her reward . A Lawyer hath but a bad trade there , for any Cause or Controuersie is tried and determined in three daies , Quirks , Quiddits , Demurs , Habeas Corposes , Sursararaes , Procedendoes , or any such dilatory Law-tricks are abolished , and not worth a button there . But aboue all , I must not forget the rare actions and humours of a Quacksaluer or Mountebanke , or to speake more familiarly , a shadow of a skilfull Chirurgian . This fellow beeing clad in an ancient doublet of decayed Satin , with a Spruce Leather Ierkin with Glasse buttons , the rest of his attire being correspondent , was mounted vpon a Scaffold , hauing shelues set with Viols , Gallipots , Glasses , Boxes , and such like stuffe , wherein as he said , were Waters , Oyles , Vnguents , Emplasters , Ellectuaries , Vomits , Purges , and a world of neuer heard of Drugs ; and being mounted ( as I said ) he and his man begin to proclaime all their skill and more , hauing a great number of idle and ignorant gazers on , he began as followeth ( as I was informed by my Interpreter ) for I vnderstood not one worde he spake . ) I Iacomo Compostella , Practitioner in Physicke , Chyrurgery , and the Mathematicks , being a man famous through Europe , Asia , Affricke and America , from the Orientall exaltation of Titan , to his Occidentall declination , who for the Testimony of my skill , and the rare Cures that I haue done , haue these Princes hands and seales ; as first the great Cham of Tartaria , in whose Court , onely with this Water , which is the Ellixar of Henbane diafracted in a Diurnall of ingredients Hippocratonticke , Auicenian , and Catarackt , With this did I cure the great Dutchesse of Promulpho of the cramp in her tongue : and with this Oyle did I restore the Emperor Gregory Euanowich of a Convulsion in his Pericranion . From thence I trauelled through Slauonia , where I met with Mustapha Despot of Seruia , who at that time was intolerably vexed with a Spasmus , so that it often droue him into a Syncope with the violent obstructions of the conflagerating of his Vaines . Onely with this precious Vnguent being the Quintessence of Mugwort , with Auripigmenty terragrophicated in a Limbecke of Christalline Translucency , I recouered him to his former health , and for my reward I had a Barbary Horse with rich Caparisons , a turkish Semitar , a Persian Robe , and 2000. Hungarian Ducats . Besides , here are the hands and seales of Potohamacke , Adelantado of Prozewgma , and of Gulch Flownderscurse chiefe Burgomaster of Belgrade , and of diuers Princes and estates , which to auoid tedious prolixity I omit . But good people if you or any other be troubled with Apoplexies , Palsies , Cramps , Lethargies , Cataracks , Quincies , Tisicks , Pleurisies , Coghs , Headaches , Tertian , Quartan , and Quotidian Agues , burning Feuers , Iawndizes , Dropsies , Collicks , Illiaca passio's , the Stone , the Strangury , the Poxe , Plague , Botches , Biles , Blanes , Scabs , Scurfs , Manage , Leprosies , Cankers , Megrimms , Mumps , Fluxes , Meazels , Murreins , Gouts , Consumptions , Tooth-ache , Ruptures , Hernia Aquosa , Hernia Ventosa , Hernia Carnosa , or any other malladie , that dares afflict the body of man or woman , come and buy while you may haue it for money , for I am sent for speedily to the Emperour of Trapezond about affaires of great Importance that highly concernes his royall person . Thus almost two houres did this fellow with embost words , and most laborious action , talke and sweat to the people , that vnderstood no more what hee said , then hee himselfe vnderstood himselfe . And I thinke his whole takings for simple compounds did amount in the totall to 9. pence sterling . But leauing Hamburgh , ( hauing gathered these few obseruations aforesaid ) out of it I went August 28. and my first iaunt of my trauels was by water , to a Towne called Buckstahoo , it is a little walled Towne , and stands on the other side of the Riuer , three miles ( as they call it ) from Hamburgh . The boate wee passed in is called an Iuar , not so good as a Graues-end barge , yet I thinke it bee as great , and the three miles longer then from London to Graues-end , for I am sure that we were going nine houres before we could be landed : Our passage cost vs threepence a peece , and one thing I remember well , that the lazie water-men will sit still all ( or the most part of ) the way , whilest their passengers , ( be they neuer so rich or poore , all is one to them , be they men or women ) they must rowe by turnes , an houre or such a matter : and we landed in the night at a place called Crants , where all the passengers were to goe to supper , but such diet we had that the Prouerbe was truely verified , God sent meat , and the Deuill sent Cookes ; for as there was no respect of persons in the boate , so all fellowes at the Table , and all once price , the Palatine and the Plebeian : our first messe was great platters of blacke broath , in shape like new tarre , and in tast Cosen Germane , to slut pottage ; our second were dishes of Eeeles , chop'd as small as hearbs , and the broth they were in as salt as brine : then had wee a boyld Goose , with choake peares and carrats , buried in a deepe dish ; and when wee demanded what was to pay , it was but three pence a man , I mused at the cheapnesse of it , but afterward they came vpon vs with a fresh reckoning of fiue pence a man for beere , for they neuer count their meate and drinke together , but bring in seuerall reckonings for them : but the morning being come , we hired a Boores Wagon , to carry vs to a place called Citizen , three miles there , or 12. English miles from Buckstahoo : a little bald dorp it is , where we came about noone , and found such slender entertainment , that we had no cause to boast of our good cheere , or our Hostesse Cookery . We hauing ▪ refreshed our selues , and hyred a fresh Wagon , away wee went two miles further to another Dorp called Rodonburgh , this village belongeth to the Bishop of Rodonburgh , who hath a faire house there , stronglie walled and deepely ditched and moated about , very defensible , with draw-bridges , and good Ordinance . This Bishop is a temporall Lord , notwithstanding his spirituall title ; and no doubt but the flesh preuailes aboue the Spirit with him ; So the Bishops of Breame , Luningburgh , and diuers other places in Germany , doe very charitably take the fleece , ( for they themselues neuer looke to the flocke ) by reason they vse no Ecclesiasticke function , but onely in name . Being lodged at Rodonburgh , in a stately Inne , where the Host , Hostesse , Guests , Cowes , Horses , Swine , lay all in one Roome ; yet I must confesse their beds to be very good , and their linnen sweet , but in those parts they vse no couerlet , rugge or blanket , but a good featherbed vndermost , with cleane sheetes , pillowes , and pillowbeares , and another featherbed vppermost , with a faire sheet aboue all , so that a mans lodging is like a womans lying In , all white . August the 30. wee went from Rodonburgh , and about noone wee came to an olde walled towne , called Feirden , it hath two Churches in it , and the hangmans statue very artificially carued in stone , and set on a high pillar , with ▪ a rod rampant in his hand , at this towne I met with sixe strangers , all trauellers , where we went to dinner together all at one table , and euery man opened his knapsack or budget with victualls ; ( for he that carries no meat with him , many fast by authority in most places of that country ) but to note the kindnes of these people one to another , some had bread and a boxe of salt butter , some had raw bacon , some had cheese , some had pickled herring , some dried beefe , and amongest the rest , I had brought three ribs of rost beefe , and other prouision from Hanburgh : to conclude , wee drew all like fidlers , and fed ( for the most part ) like swine for euery man eat what was his owne , and no man did proffer one bit of what he had to his neighbor , so he that had cheese must dine with cheese , for he that had meat would offer him none ; I did cut euery one a part of my rost beefe ; which my guide told me they would not take well because it is not the fashion of the Countrey : I tried , and found them very tractable to take any thing that was good , so that I perceiued their modesty to take one from another , proceedes from their want of manners to offer . But dinner being done , away wee went ouer a bridge , in the midst whereof is a Iynn , made in the likenesse of a great Lanthorne , it is hanged on a turning Gybbet , like a Crane : so that it may be turned on the bridge , and ouer the Riuer , as they shall please that haue occasion to vse it . It is bigge enough to hold two men , and it is for this purpose , if any one or more doe rob gardens or orchards , or cornefields , ( if they be taken ) he or they are put into this same whirligigge , or kickumbob , and the gybbet being turned , the offender hangs in this Cage ouer the Riuer some 12 or 14 foot from the water , then there is a small line made fast to the party some 5. or 6. fadome , and with a tricke which they haue , the bottome of the cage drops out , and the thiefe fals sodenly into the water . I had not gone farre , but at the end of the bridge I saw an olde chappell , which in olde time they say was dedicated to S t. Frodswicke , which hath the day after S. Luke the Euangelist : I entring in , perceiued it was a charitable Chappell , for the dores and windowes were alwaies open , by reason there were none to shut , and it was a common receptacle for beggars and rogues . There was the image of our Lady , with a vaile ouer her , made ( as I thinke ) of a Bakers bolter , and Saint Peter houlding a candle to her . I cut a peece of her Vaile , and taking Peter by the hand at my departure , the kind Image ( I know not vpon what acquaintance ) being loose handed , let me haue his hand with mee , which being made of wood , by reason of ruinous antiquity , burst of in the handling : which two precious relickes I brought home with me to defend me and all my friends from sparrow blasting . From this place we were glad to trauell on foot one dutch mile to a Dorpe called Durfurne , where we hired a Boores waggon to a town called Neinburgh , but we could not reach thither by 2 English miles , so that we were glad to lodge in a barne that night : On the morrow early , we arose and came to Nienburgh , which is a little walled town , belonging to that Bishopricke from whence it is so named . There we staied 3. houres before wee could get a Waggon , at last we were mounted to a Dorpe called Leiz , two Dutch miles ; I would haue bargained with the Boore to haue carried vs to Dorne , which I bade my guide tell him it was but a mile further , a mile quoth the Boore , indeed we call it no more , but it was measured with a dogge , and they threw in the taile and all to the bargaine ; so to Leiz he carried vs , and there we found a Waggon of Dorne homeward bound , which made vs ride the cheaper ; but it was the longest mile that euer I rode or went , for surely it is as much as some ten of our miles in England . But hauing ouercome it at last , from thence I tooke a fresh Waggon to carry me two miles further to a towne called Buckaburghe , where I had , and haue , I hope , a brother residing ; to whom my iourney was entended , and with whom my Perambulation was at a period . This towne of Buckaburgh is wholely and solely belonging to the Grass or Graue of Shomburgh , a Prince of great command and eminence , absolute in his authority and power , not countermanded by the Emperour , or any other further then curtesie requires ; and in a word , hee is one of the best accomplisht Gentlemen in Europe for his person , port , and princely magnificence . He hath there to his inestimable charge , built the towne , with many goodly houses , streets , Lanes , a strong wall , and a deepe ditch , all well furnished with munition and artillery , with a band of Souldiers which he keepeth in continuall pay , allowing euery man a Doller a weeke , and double apparell euery yeere . Besides , hee hath built a stately Church , being aboue 120. steps to the roofe , with a faire paire of Organes , a curious carued Pulpit , and all other ornaments belonging to the same . His owne Pallace may well be called an earthly Paradice , which if I should run into the praise of the description of , I should bring my wits into an intricate Labyrinth , that I should hardly find the way out : yet according to the imbecillity of my memory , I will onely touch a little at the shadow of it , and let the substance stand where it doth . At the front or outward gate is a most stately Arch , vpon the top whereof is erected the image of Enuy , ( as great as a demy Colossus ) betweene two Dragons , all guilt with gold ; before the gate is an iron grate to open & shut as it were of flowers or worke of Embroydery , at which gate stands alwaies a court of Guard , and a Sentinell , and at the lower part of the Arch is the Princes title or in Capitall letters as followeth ; ERNESTVS , DEI GRATIA , COMES HOLST , Scomburgh , Sternburgh , &c. After I was entred within the outward gate , I was shewed his stables , where I saw very faire and goodly horses , both for warre and other vses , amongst the rest there was one naturally spotted like a Leopard , or Panther , and is called by the name of Leopard , a stately couragious beast , and so formed as if Nature had laid all hir cunning aside , onely to compose that Horse , and indeed I must acknowledge that hee was made for the seruice of some great Prince , and not for any inferior Person . Passing further , I came to another Court of Guard , and ouer a draw-bridge , into the inner court , where on the right hand , I was conducted into the Chappell , in which Chappell , if it were possible that the hand of mortall men ( with artificiall workemanship ) could visibly set forth the magnificent glory of the immortal Creator , then absolutely there it is , but beeing impossible so to doe , ( as neere as I can ) I will describe it ; the pauement is all of blacke and gray marble , curiously wrought with Chequer-worke , the seats and pues are carued Wainscot of wonderfull cunning and workemanship : the roofe is adorned with the statues of Angels and Cherubins , many in number , all so richly guilded , as if Gold were as plentifull as peauter , there could not be more liberality bestowed : besides there are a faire set of Organs , with a braue sweete Quire of Queristers : so that when they sing , the Lutes , Viols , Bandoraes , Organs , Recorders , Sagbuts , and other musicall Instruments , all strike vp together , with such a glorious delicious harmony , as if the Angelicall musicke of the spheares were descended into that earthly Tabernacle . The Prince himselfe is a Protestant , very zealous in his Prayer , and diligent in his attention to the Preacher , who although I vnderstood not , yet I perceiued he was a good Diuine who grauely and sincerely with reuerence and eloquent Elocution deliuered the breade of life to the vnderstanding Auditors . In this Towne I stayd with my brother from Saturday the last of August , till the Thursday following which was the fifth of September . When I was conducted an English mile on my way by certaine of my countrey-men my Lords Musicians , where we dranke and parted , onely my Brother and my Guide brought mee that night to a strong walled Towne called Minden , which standeth on the riuer of Weazer , and belongeth to the Bishop of that See. On the morrow I walked to see the Towne , where I bought 36. cheeses for eight pence , and a yard and halfe of pudding for fiue pence , which I brought into England for rarities . So about noone wee tooke a boat to passe downe the Riuer , which boat is much longer then any westerne barge , but nothing neere so broad , it was halfe laden with lime and chalke , and by reason the winde blew hard , we were almost choaked with the flying and scattering of that dusty commodity . Besides the water was so shallow , that we ran a ground 3. or 4. times , and sometimes an houre , sometimes lesse before wee could get a float againe : which made mee and my Guide goe a shore at a village called Peterhaghen , where we hired a waggon to Leize , where wee stayd all night , ( being come into our olde way againe ) where were a crew of strowling rogues and whores that tooke vpon them the name of AEgyptians , Iuglers and Fortune tellers , and indeede one of them helde the Good-wife with a tale , the whilst another was picking her chest , and stole out ten dollors , which is fortie shillings , and she that talked with her , looked in her hand , and tolde her that if shee did not take great heede , she knew by her Art that some mischance was neere her : which prooued true , for her money was gone the whilst her fortune was telling . But I appoynted a waggon ouer night to bee ready by three of the clocke in the morning , when I arose and applyed my trauell so hard by changing fresh waggons , so that that day I came as farre as Rodonburgh , which was nine Dutch miles , where I stayd that night : The next day being Sunday the eighth of September , wee tooke waggon towards Buckstahoo , we had a mad merry Boore , with an hundred totters about him ; and now I thinke it fit a little to describe these Boores , their natures , habits , and vnmannerly manners . In our English tongue the name Bore or Boore doth truely explane their swinish condition , for most of them are as full of humanity as a Baconhogge , or a Bore , and their wiues as cleanely and and courteous as Sowes . For the most part of the men they are clad in thinne buckerom , vnlined , barelegged and footed , neither band or scarce shirt , no woollen in the world about them , and thus will they runne through all weathers for money by the waggons side , and though no better apparrelled , yet all of them haue houses , land , or manuall meanes to liue by : The substantiall Boores I did meet aboue 120. of them that Sunday , with euery one an hatchet in his hand , I mused at it , and thought they had been going to fell wood that day , but my Guide told me they were all going to Church , and that in stead of cloakes they carried hatchets , and that it was the fashion of the Country : wherupon it came to my mind , Cloake , quasi Cleaue-oake , ergo the Boores weare hatchets in steede of cloakes . There are other fashion Boores , who weare white linnen breeches as close as Irish trouzes , but so long , that they are turned vp at the shooe in a role like a maides sleeues at the hand , but what these fellowes want in the bignesse of their hose , they haue in dublets , for their sleeues are as big as breeches and the bodies great enough to hold a kinderkin of beere and a barrell of butter . The Countey is very full of woods , and especially oakes , which they very seldome cut downe , because of the mast for their swine , which liue there in great abundance . If any man bee slaine or murthered on the way , they vse to set vp a woodden crosse in the place , for a memoriall of the bloody fact committed there , and there were many of those woodden crosses in the way as I trauelled . They seldom haue any robbery committed amongst them , but there is a murther with it , for their vnmannerly manner is , to knocke out a mans braines first , or else to lurke behinde a tree , and shoot a man with a peece or a pistoll , and so make sure worke with the passenger , and then search his pockets . It is as dangerous to steale or kill an hare in some places there , as it is to rob a Church or kill a man in England , and yet a two-penny matter will discharge the offender , for the best and the worst is but an halter ; and I was enformed that an English Marchant ( not knowing the danger ) as he was riding on the way , hauing a peece charged in his hand ( as it is an ordinary weapon to trauell with there ) by chance hee espied an hare , and shot at her and killed her ; but he was apprehended for it , and it was like to haue cost him his life ; but before he got out of the trouble , he was faine to vse his best friends and meanes , ( & pleading ignorance for his innocency ) at last with the losse of a great deale of liberty , and fiue hundred pound in money , he was discharged : The reason of this strict conrse is , because all the hares in the countrey doe belong to one Lord or other , and being in abundance , they are killed by the owners appoyntment , and carried to the markets by cart-loads , and sold for the vse of the honourable owners : and no Boore or Tenant that dwels in those parts where those hares are plenty , must keepe a dogge , except he pay fiue shillings a yeere to the Lord , or else one of his fore-feet must be cut of that he may not hunt hares . A man is in almost as high promotion to bee a knaue in England , as a Knight in Germany , for there a Gentleman is called a Youngcurr , and a Knight is but a Youngcurs man , so that you shall haue a scuruy Squire command a Knight to hold his stirrup , plucke off his boots , or any other vnknightly peece of seruice : and verily I thinke there are an 100. seuerall Princes , Earles , Bishops and other estates , that do euery one keepe a mint , and in their owne names stampe Money , Gold , Siluer , & Brasse , & amongst 23. two pences which I had of their brasse money ( which they call Grushes ) I had 13. seuerall coynes . Many more such worthy iniunctions and honourable ordinances I obserued , which are hardly worth pen and inke the describing , and therefore I omit them , and draw toward an end , for on the Wednesday morning I was at an anchor at St●ad , & on the Friday night following I was ( by Gods gracions assistance ) landed at London . So that in three weeks and three dayes , I sailed from England to Hamburgh and backe againe , staying in the countrey 17. dayes , and trauelled 200. miles by land there : gathering like a busie Bee all these honyed obseruations , some by sight , some by hearing , some by both , some by neither , & some by bare supposition . FINIS . 
A13514	----	True louing sorow, attired in a robe of vnfeigned griefe presented vpon occasion of the much bewailed funerall of that gracious and illustrious prince Lewis Steward, Duke of Richmond and Linox, Eearle [sic] of Newcastle and Darnely ... who departed this life at White-Hall on the Thursday the 12 of February ... / [by] John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1624 Approx. 11 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 1 1-bit group-IV TIFF page image. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13514 STC 23808.5 ESTC S3373 33143382 ocm 33143382 28432 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13514) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 28432) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1885:48) True louing sorow, attired in a robe of vnfeigned griefe presented vpon occasion of the much bewailed funerall of that gracious and illustrious prince Lewis Steward, Duke of Richmond and Linox, Eearle [sic] of Newcastle and Darnely ... who departed this life at White-Hall on the Thursday the 12 of February ... / [by] John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1 sheet ([1] p.). Printed for Henry Gosson, [London] : 1624. Imperfect: faded, with loss of text. Reproduction of original in: Society of Antiquaries. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Richmond, Ludovic Stuart, -- Duke of, 1574-1624 -- Death and burial. Great Britain -- History -- James I, 1603-1625. Broadsides -- London (England) -- 17th century. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-08 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-09 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2002-09 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion True louing Sorow , attired in a Robe of vnfeigned Griefe , presented vpon occasion of the much bewailed Funerall of that Gracious and Illustrious Prince Lewis Steward Duke of Richmond and Linox , Eearle of Newcastle and Darnely , Lord of Torbolton and Methuen , Baron of Settrington , Knight of the noble order of the Garter , Lord high Admirall , and great Chamberlaine of Scotland , Lord high Steward to the Kings most excellent Maiesties most Honourable Houshold , Gentleman of his Maiesties Bed-Chamber , and one of his Maiesties most Honourable Priuy Councell for England and Scotland ; Who departed this life at White-Hall on Thursday the 12. of February , whose Obsequies were solemnly and Princely Celebrated , on Munday the 19. of April , described in forme as f●lloweth . Dedicated generally to all his worthy Friends , and louing Seruants ; and particularly to that trusty and well-beloued Seruant of his Arthur Neassmith . ANd first my Muse findes , that his Graces name Significantly makes an Annagram . LEWIS STEWARDE , Annagram VERTV IS WEL EAS'D . His Vertues such continuall paines did take For King and Country , Church and peoples sake : That for Earths courtly toyle , to him 't was giuen His UERTU IS WEL EAS'D i' the Court of Heauen . GReat God , that to thyselfe wilt take thine owne By sundry wayes , and meanes to Man vnknowne , Whose Eye of prouidence doth still perceiue When , where , why , who to take , or else to leaue , Whose mercy , and whose Iustice equall are , Both Infinite , to punish or to spare , All men doe know , that men to dye are borne , And from the Eearth , must to the Earth returne . But Time and Circumstance coniecture may , For some great cause thou took'st this Duke away . Amongst vs lurkes so many a foule offence , Which giues thee cause to take good men from hence : And that this Prince was Good as well as Great , His life and timelesse losse doth well repeat . Deuout and zealous to his God aboue : True to his King , as did his seruice proue : Discreet in Counsell , Noble in his minde , Most Charitably , Honourably kinde . So Affable , so Hopefull vnto all , And so Repleat with vertues generall , That we may say , this Land in losing Him : Hath lost a gratious Peere , a prop , a limbe . It must be true , that well he spends his dayes , Whose actions doe attaine all peoples praise : And surely I suppose he doth not liue , Who of this Duke a bad report can giue . So full endu'd he was of all good parts , With noble Courtesie he wan all hearts , To loue and honour his admired minde So well adicted , and so well enclinde , That as a Diamond in Gold transfixt His vertues with his Greatnesse was so mixt , That he as one of an immortall Race Made Vertue vertuous , and gaue Grace to grace . Then since his goodnes , was so generall , The losse of him is Gen'rall vnto all : This being true , let 's recollect our spirits And weigh his worth , with our vnworthy merits ; And then our frailties truly will confesse God tooke him hence for our vnworthinesse : Death was in Message from th' Almighty sent To summon him to Heau'ns high Parlament , He chang'd his Gracious Title transitorie , And ( by the grace of God ) attain'd true Glory ; And as his King had his integritie ; So did the Commons share his Clemency , Which was so pleasing to his Makers sight , That Bounteously he did his life requite That Lambe-like , mildely hence he tooke him sleeping , To his Eternall euer-blessed keeping . Thus as his name includes , so God is pleas'd ( From worldly sorrowes ) VERTV IS WEL EAS'D . No sicknesse or no phisicke made him languish , He lay not long in heart-tormenting anguish , But as Gods feare was planted in his brest , So at his Rest , God tooke him to his Rest. When like a good Tree , laden full of fruit , Of Grace , of Vertue , Honour , and Repute : Euen in his best estate , too good for Earth , Then did his soule put on a second Birth . And though his part of fraile mortality , In Monumentall Marble here doth lie : Yet thousands weeping soules , with deepe laments , As his most wofull mourning Monuments , I daily see , whose visages doe show That He 's inter'd within their hearts below ; Whose faces seemes an Epitaph to beare , That men may Reade who is intombed there . Epitaph . GOod , Gratious , Great , Richmond and Linox Duke , God , King , and Countries seruant here doth lye ; Whose liuing Merits merit no rebuke , For whose liues lesse lamenting Memory , Our hearts are groning Graues of grieses and cares , Which when we die , wee 'le leaue vnto our heires . Me thinkes the Sable Mourners did appeare , As if in forme they numbring Figures were ; As 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. Whilst all that view'd , like Ciphers did combine Their mourning with the Mourners to vnite , Which made their Lamentations infinite . And Infinite are now his Ioyes Aboue With the Eternall God of peace and loue : Where for a mortall Dukedome he hath wonne , ( Through boundlesse merits of th' Almighties Sonne ) A Kingdome that 's immortall , where he sings Perpetuall praise vnto the King of Kings . Thus what the Earth surrendred , Heau'n hath seaz'd Most blest LEWIS STEWARDE , UERTU IS WEL EAS'D . The manner of the Funerall . Eight Conductors with black staues , and poore Gownes , 100. Seruants to Gentlemen and Esquires in Cloakes 50. Seruants to Knights , 46. Seruants to Baronets , 10. Three Trumpeters . Then came the Standard borne by Sir Gerrard Samms Knight , accompanied with an Officer of Armes . The first Horse couered with blacke cloth garnished with Scutchions , Shaffron and Plumes led by a groome . Here went Seruants to Barons youngor Sons , and some others of like qualitie in number 15. The seruants to Knights of the priuy Councell , 30. Seruants to Earles younger sonnes , 24. Seruants to Viscounts eldest Sons , 6. Then the Schollers of Westminster in Gownes and Surplises , their Masters following in mourning Gownes . Three Trumpeters . The Guidon borne by Sir Andrew Boyd Knight , accompanied with an Officer of Armes . The second Horse led by a Groome , and furnished as the former . Barons seruants 60. Bishops Seruants 10. Earles eldest Sonnes seruants , 15. Viscounts Seruants , 10. Marquesses eldest Sonnes seruants . 3. Trumpers . The Banner of the augmentation borne by a Knight , accompanied with an Officer of Armes . The third Horse led by onother Groome of his Graces Stable furnished as the others . Earles seruants : Marquesses and Dukes seruants , The Lord Priuie-Seales seruants . President of the Councel , Seruants . Lord Thresurors , Lord Keepers , And Lord Archbishops , 3. Trumpets . The , Banner of Steward , borne by Sir Iohn Steward accompanied with an Officer of Armes . The 4. Horse led by a Yeomen of his Graces Stable furnished as the other . Seruants to his Grace in Cloakes : Officers to his Grace in Gownes . 3. Trumpeters . The Banner of Steward and the augmentation quartered with it borne by a Baronet accompanied with a Herald of Armes . The fist Horse led by a Yeoman of his Graces Stable furnished as the former . Serieants of seuerall Offices in his Maiesties House , and other Esquires , his Maiesties Seruants of good quality . The Gentlemen of his Maiesties Chappell in Surplices and rich Copes , the Sergeant of the Vestry accompaning them . Chaplaines . Doctors of Physicke . Doctors of Diuinity . Knights . Gentlemen of the Priuie Chamber . Gentlemen of the Bed-Chamber to the Prince . Baronets . Barons younger Sonnes . Knights of the Priuie Councell . Viscounts eldest Sonnes . A veluet Cushen carried by an Esquire , The Comptroller , Treasurer , Steward , and Chamberlaine to his Grace , bearing white Staues . Barons of Ireland , Scotland , and England . Bishops . Earles eldest Sonnes Viscounts . Earles of Scotland , and England . The Duke of Lennox eldest Sonne . The Arch-Bishop of Canterbury . The Mace , The Purse , The Lord Keeper Preacher . Sergeant Trumpetter , and foure Trumpets . The Great Banner borne by an Earles Sonne , accompanied with an Herald . The chiefe Mourning Horse couered with blacke Veluet , and garnished with Eschochens of Taffata , with Shaffron and Plumes led by Mr. Hatton Clauell . His Graces Hatchiuements borne as followeth . The Gauntlets and Spurres , the Helme and Crest , and the Sword borne by three Heralds . The Targe and Coat of Armes , borne by two Kings of Armes . Then the liuely Effigies or represention of his Grace , drawne in a Chariot by sixe goodly Horses garnished as the former , couered with a Canopie of blacke Veluet , the Pall supported by two Earles Sonnes , and two Marquises Sonnes . The Footmen going on each side the Chariot and likewise to small Banners , carried by to Knights , 5. of Scotland , and 5. of England round about the Chariot , two principall Gent. riding at his head and feet in the said Chariot . Then followed Garter principall King of Armes accompanied with a Gent. Vsher who went bare headed . The Duke of Lennox chiefe Mourners . The L. Treasurer , & L. President of the Councell , his supporters . 10. Other assistants . The L. Priuie Seale , and D. of Buckingham . The Marquis Hamilton , and Earle Marshall . The L. Chamberlaine of his Maiest . House , and the E. of Sussex . The E. of Southampton , and E. of Essex . The E. of Salisbury , and E. of Exceter . The Mr. of the Horse to his Grace in close mourning , leading the Horse of Honor , most richly furnished . Thus past , this sad Shew from his Graces House in Holborne to Westminster , where the Funerall Rites being solemnly ended , his Graces liuely Effiges , was left in the Abbey of St. Peter vnder a Rich Hearse . Iohn Taylor . Printed for Henry Gosson . 1624. 
A13515	----	The vnnaturall father, or, The cruell murther committed by [one] Iohn Rowse of the towne of Ewell, ten m[iles] from London, in the county of Surry, vpon two of his owne children with his prayer and repentance in prison, his arrai[gn]ment and iudgement at the Sessions, and his execution for the said fact at Croydon, on Munday the second of Iuly, 1621. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1621 Approx. 31 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 11 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13515 STC 23808A ESTC S1148 21467899 ocm 21467899 24008 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13515) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 24008) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1737:5) The vnnaturall father, or, The cruell murther committed by [one] Iohn Rowse of the towne of Ewell, ten m[iles] from London, in the county of Surry, vpon two of his owne children with his prayer and repentance in prison, his arrai[gn]ment and iudgement at the Sessions, and his execution for the said fact at Croydon, on Munday the second of Iuly, 1621. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [21] p. Printed for I.T. and H.G., London : 1621. Attributed to John Taylor by STC (2nd ed.) and NUC pre-1956 imprints. T.p. cropped with loss of print; bracketed title information suggested by NUC pre-1956 imprints. Signatures: A⁴(-A1) B-C⁴. T.p. contains woodcut illustration. Reproduction of original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Murder -- England -- Anecdotes. Great Britain -- History -- Early Stuarts, 1603-1649. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-08 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-09 Jennifer Kietzman Sampled and proofread 2002-09 Jennifer Kietzman Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE Vnnaturall Father : OR , The cruell Murther committed by IOHN ROWSE of the Towne of Ewell , ten miles from London , in the County of Surry , vpon two of his owne Children . With his Prayer and Repentance in Prison , his Arraignment and Iudgement at the Sessions , and his Execution for the said fact at Croydon , on Munday the second of Iuly . 1621. London printed for I. T. and H. G. 1621. THE VNNATVRALL FATHER . AS a chaine consists of diuers linkes , and euery linke depends and is inyoak'd vpon one another : Euen so our sinnes , being the Chaine wherewith Satan doth binde and manacle vs , are so knit , twisted , and sodered together , that without our firme faith ascending , and Gods grace descending , wee can neuer bee freed from those infernall fetters ; for Sloth is linked with Drunkennes , Drunkennes with Fornication and Adultery , & Adultery with Murder , and so of al the rest of the temptations , suggestions and actions , wherewith miserable men and women are insnared , and led captiue into perpetuall perdition , except the mercy of our gracious God be our defence and safegard . For a lamentable example of the Diuels malice , and mans misery , this party , of whom I treat at this time , was a wretch , not to be matched , a fellow not be fellowed , & one that scarce hath an equall , for matchlesse misery , and vnnaturall Murther . But to the matter . This Iohn Rowse being a Fishmonger in London , gaue ouer his trade , and liued altogether in the Towne of Ewell , neere Nonesuch , in the County of Surry , ten miles from London , where he had Land of his owne for himselfe and his heires for euer to the value of fifty pounds a yeere , with which hee liued in good and honest fashion , being well reputed of all his neighbours , and in good estimation with Gentlemen and others that dwelt in the adioyning Villages . Vntill at the last he married a very honest and comely woman , with whom hee liued quietly and in good fashion some six moneths , till the Diuell sent an instrument of his , to disturbe their Matrimoniall happinesse : for they wanting a Maidseruant , did entertain into their house a Wench , whose name was Iane Bl●ndell , who in short time was better acquainted with her Masters bed then honesty required , which in time was found out and knowne by her Mistris , and brake the peace , in such sort , betweene the said Rowse and his Wife , that in the end , after two yeeres continuance , it brake the poore womans heart , that she dyed & left her Husband a widdower , where he and his Whore were the more free to vse their cursed contentments , and vngodly embracements . Yet that estate of being vnmarried was displeasing to him , so that he tooke to wife another woman , who for her outward feature , and inward qualities was euery way fit for a very honest man , although it were her hard fortune to match otherwise . With this last Wife of his he liued much discontented , by reason of his keeping his lewd Tr●ll in his house , so that by his dayly Ryot , excessiue drinking , & vnproportionable spending , his estate began to be much impouerished , much of his Land morgag'd and forfeited , himselfe aboue two hundred pounds indebted , and in processe of time to be ( as a lewd liuer ) of all his honest neighbours reiected and contemned . His estate and credit being almost past recouerie wasted and impaired , he forsooke his Wife , came vp to London with his Wench , where hee fell in new league with a corrupted friend ; who ( as he said ) did most courteously coozen him of all that euer he had , & whom at this time I forbeare to name ; because it was Iohn Rowse his request before his execution , that he should not be named in any Booke or Ballad , but yet vpon a Dye his name may be picked out betwixt a sinke & a trey . This false friend of his ( as he said ) did perswade him to leaue his Wife for altogether , and did lodge and boord him and his paramore certaine weekes in his house , and afterward caused him and her to be lodged ( hauing chang'd his name ) as Man and Wife in an honest mans house neere Bishopsgate , at Beuis Marks , where they continued so long , till his money was gone , ( as indeede he neuer had much , but now and then small petty summes from his secret friend aforesaid ) and he being fearefull to bee smoak'd out by his Creditors , was counselled to leaue his Country , and depart for Ireland ; and before his going ouer-Sea , his friend wrought so , that all his Land was made ouer in trust to him , and Bonds , Couenants , and Leases made , as fully bought and sold for a summe of two hundred and threescore pounds ; of all which money the said Rowse did take the Sacrament and his death , that hee neuer did receiue one penny , but hee said that now and then he had fiue or ten shillings at a time from his said friend , and neuer aboue twenty shillings , and that all that euer he had of him , being summ'd together , was not aboue three & twenty pounds , the which moneys his friend did pay himselfe out of his Rents . But some more friend to him , then he was to himselfe , did doubt that he was cheated of his Land : whereupon ( to make all sure ) he said that his false friend did so farre preuaile with him , that hee the said Rowse tooke an Oath in the open Court at Westminster Hall , that hee had lawfully sold his Land , and had receiued the summe abouesaid , in full satisfaction and paiment , and his said friend did vow and protest many times vnto him , with such oathes and vehement curses , that he neuer would deceiue his trust , but that at any time when hee would command all those forged Bonds and Leases , that hee would surrender them vnto him , and that hee should neuer be damnifide by them or him , to the value of one halfe-penny . Vpon which protestations ( hee said ) he was enticed to vndoe himselfe out of all his earthly possessions , & by a false oath to make hazard of his inheritance in Heauen . In Ireland he stayd not long , but came ouer againe , and was by his friend perswaded to goe into the Low Countries : which he did , neuer minding his Wife and two small Children which he had by her , hauing likewise a brace of bastards by his Whore ( as some say ) but he said that but one of them was of his begetting . But he , after some stay in Holland , saw that he could not fadge there , according to his desire , and withall , suspecting that he was cheated of his Land , and aboue all , much perplexed in his Conscience for the false oath that he had taken , pondering his miserable estate , and ruing his vnkindnesse to his Wife , and vnnaturall dealing to his Children , thinking with himselfe what course were best to take to helpe himselfe out of so many miseries which did incompasse him , he came ouer againe into England to his too deare friend , demanding of him his Bonds and Leas●s of his Land which hee had put him in trust withall . But then his friend did manifest himselfe what he was , and told him plainly , that he had no writings , not any Land of his , but what hee had dearely bought and paid for . All which ( Rowse replyed vnto him ) was false , as his owne Conscience knew . Then said the other , haue I not heere in my custody your hand and Seale to confirme my lawfull possession of your Land ? and moreouer haue I not a Record of an Oath in open Court , which you tooke concerning the truth of all our bargaine ? And seeing that I haue all these especiall points of the Law , as an Oath , Indentures , and a sure possession , take what course you will , for I am resolued to hold vvhat I haue . These ( or the like ) words , in effect passed betwixt Rowse and his Friend ( Trusty Roger ) which entring at his eares , pierced his heart like Daggers ; and beeing out of money and Credit , a man much infamous for his bad life , indebted beyond all possible meanes of paiment ; a periured wretch to coozen himselfe , hauing no place or meanes to feede or lodge , and fearefull of being arrested , hauing so much abused his Wife , and so little regarded his Children , being now brought to the pits brim of desperation , not knowing amongst these calamities which way to turne himselfe , hee resolued at last to goe home to Ewell againe to his much wronged Wife , for his last refuge in extremitie . The poore Woman receiued him with ioy , and his Children with all gladnesse welcomed home the prodigall Father , with whom he remained in much discontentment and perplexitie of minde : the Diuell still tempting him 〈◊〉 mischiefe and despaire ; putting him in minde of his 〈…〉 better estate , comparing pleasures past with present miseries , and hee re●oluing that hee had beene a man in that Towne had beene a Gentlemans companion , of good Reputation and Calling , that hee had Friends , Lands , Money , Apparell , and Credit , with meanes sufficient to haue left for the maintenance of his Family , and that now he had nothing left him but pouerty and beggery , and that his two Children were like to be left to go from doore to doore for their liuing . Being thus tormented and tost with restlesse imaginations ; hee seeing dayly to his further griefe , the poore case of his children , and fearing that worse would befall them hereafter , hee resolued to worke some meanes to take away their languishing liues , by a speedy & vntimely death , the which practise of his ( by the Diuels instigation and assistance ) he effected as followeth . To bee sure that no body should stop or preuent his diuellish enterprise ; hee sent his Wife to London in a friuolous errand , for a riding Coate : and she being gone somewhat timely , and too soone in the morning , both her Children being in bed and fast asleepe , beeing two very pretty Girles , one of the age of sixe yeeres , and the other foure yeeres old , none being in the house but themselues , their vnfortunate Father , and his ghostly Counsellor , the dores being fast locked , hee hauing an excellent Spring of water in the Seller of his house ( which , to a good minde that would haue imploy'd it well , would haue beene a blessing : for the water is of that Christaline purity , and cleerenesse , that Queen Elizabeth of famous memory would dayly send for it for her owne vse ) in which hee purposed to drowne his poore innocent children sleeping : for he going into the Chamber where they lay , took the yongest of 〈◊〉 named Elizabeth forth of her bed , and carried her 〈◊〉 the Stayres into his Seller , and there put her in the Spring of Water , holding downe her head vnder that pure Element with his hands , till at last the poore harmelesse soule and body parted one from another . Which first Act of this his inhumane Tragedy being ended , hee carried the dead corps vp three payre of stayres , and laying it downe on the floore , left it , and went down into the Chamber where his other Daughter , named Marry , was in bed ; being newly awaked , and seeing her father , demanded of him where her Sister was ? To whom he made answer that he would bring her where she was . So taking her in his armes , hee carried her downe towards the Seller : and as hee was on the Seller stayres , shee asked him what he would doe , and whither he would carry her ? Feare nothing , my Child ( quoth hee ) I will bring thee vp againe presently : and being come to the Spring , as before hee had done with the other , so hee performed his last vnfatherly deed vpon her , & to be as good as his word , carried her vp the stayres & laid her by her sister ; that done , he laid them out , and couered them both with a sheete , walking vp and downe his house , weeping and lamenting his owne misery , and his friends treachery , that was the maine ground of all his misfortunes , & the death of his Children : and though there was time and opportunity enough for him to flye , & to seeke for safety ; yet the burthen and guilt of his conscience was so heauy to him , and his desperate case was so extreme , that hee neuer offered to depart ; but as a man weary of his life , would , and did stay , till such time as hee was apprehended and sent to Prison , where he lay till he was rewarded with a iust deserued death . What his other intents were , after hee had drowned his Children , is vncertaine ; for hee drew his sword and laid it naked on a Table , and after , he gate a poore woman downe into the Seller , and in the same place where the two Infants lost their liues , hee did helpe the woman to wring a Bucke of his clothes , and then he requested her to help to conuey his goods out of his house ; for hee said that hee feared that the Sheriffe of Surry would come and seaze vpon all . But the woman not thinking of any of the harme that was done , imagined that he had meant that his goods would be seazed for debt , and not for murther . But to returne to the miserable Mother of the murdered Children , shee said that her heart throbbed all day , as fore-boading some heauy mischance to come : and hauing done her businesse that shee came about to London , as soone as shee came home , she asked for her Children , to whom her Husband answered that they were at a neighbours house in the Towne . Then said she , I will goe thither to fetch them home . No quoth he , I will goe my selfe presently for them . Thē said his wife , let the poore woman that is heere goe and bring them home . But at last she saw such delay was vsed , she was going her selfe ; then her Husband told her that hee had sent them to a Kinsmans of his at a Village called Sutton , foure miles from Ewell , and that hee had prouided well for them , and prayd ▪ her to bee contented and feare nothing , for they were well . These double tales of his , made her to doubt somwhat was amisse : therefore shee intreated him for Gods sake to tell her truely where they were . Wherevpon he said , If you will needs know where they are , goe but vp the staires into such a Chamber , and there you shall finde them . But in what a lamentable perplexity of mind the poore woman was when shee perceiued how and which way they lost their liues , any Christian that hath an heart of flesh may imagine . Presently the Constable was sent for , who tooke him into his custody , who amongst other talke , demanded of him why and how hee could commit so vnnaturall a fact , as to murder his Children ? To whom he answered , that he did it , because he was not able to keepe them , and that hee was loth they should goe about the Towne a begging : and moreouer , that they were his owne , and being so , that hee might doe what hee would with them , and that they had their liues from him , and therefore he had taken their liues from them , and was contented to lose his life for them : for he was sure that their miseries were past , and for his part , he had an assured hope to goe to them , though they could not come to him . So being had before a Iustice , his Examination was very briefe ; for he confest all the whole circumstances of the matter freely ; so that he was sent to the common Prison of Surry , cal'd the White Lyon , where hee remained fourteene or fifteene weekes a wonderfull penitent Prisoner , neuer , or very seldome , being without a Bible or some other good booke meditating vpon ; and whon any one did but mention his Children , he would fetch a deep sigh , and weepe , desiring euery one to pray for him and vpon his owne earnest request , he was praide for at Pauls Crosse , and at most of the Churches in London , and at many in the Country , and at the Sessions holden at Croydon , the latter end of Iune last , he made such free confession at the Barre , declaring the manner of his life , his odious Drinking , his abominable Whoring , his cruell Murther , and the false dealing of his deceitfull friend , which was the cause of his finall wracke : with which Relations of his pronounced , with such vehemency and protestations , he moued all that heard him to commiseration and pitie . So , according to Law and Iustice , he was there condemned and iudged ( for the murthering of his two Children ) to be hang'd ; which Iudgement was executed on him at the common Gallowes at Croydon , on Munday the second day of Iune , 1621. where he dyed with great penitency and remorce of Conscience . This was the lamentable end of Iohn Rowse , a man of the age of fifty yeeres , and one that might haue liu'd and dyed in better fashion , if he had laid hold on the grace of heauen , and craued Gods protection and fatherly assistance : but of all that herein is declared , this one thing which I now declare , is most lamentable & remarkable ; which is , that Ewell being a Market Towne , not much aboue ten miles from London , in a Christian Kingdome , and such a Kingdome , where the all-sauing Word of the euer-liuing God is most diligently , sincerely , and plentifully preached ; & yet amidst this diligence , as it were in the Circle or Center of this sincerity , and in the floud of this plenty , the Towne of Ewell hath neither Preacher nor Pastor : for although the Parsonage be able to maintaine a sufficient Preacher , yet the liuing beeing in a Lay-mans hand , is rented out to another for a great sum , & yet no Preacher maintained there . Now the chief Landlord out of his portion , doth allow but seuen pounds yeerely for a Reader , and the other that doth hyre the Parsonage at a great Rent , doth giue the said Reader foure pound the yeere more out of his meanes and courtesie : and by this meanes the Towne is serued with a poore old man that is halfe blinde , and by reason of his age can scarcely read : for all the world knowes , that so small a stipend cannot finde a good Preacher Bookes , and very hardly bread to liue on ; so that the poore soules dwelling there , are in danger of famishing , for want of a good Preacher to breake the Bread of Life vnto them : for a Sermon amongst them , is as rare as warm weather in December , or Ice in Iuly : both which I haue seene in England , though but seldome . And as the Wolfe is most bold with the Sheepe , when there is either no Shepheard , or an impotent insufficient one , so the Diuell ( perhaps ) tooke his aduantage of this wretched man , seeing he was so badly guarded , & so weakely guided to withstand his force and malice : for where God is least known and called vpon , there Satan hath most power and domination . But howsoeuer , I wish with all my heart , that that Towne and many more were better prouided then they are , and then such numbers of soules would not be in hazzard to perish ; nor so many sufficient schollers that can preach and teach well , liue in penury through want of maintenance . I could runne further vpon this point , but that I doe shortly purpose to touch it more to the quick in another Booke . By this mans fall , we may see an example of Gods Iustice against Drunkennes , Whoredome , and Murder ; the Diuel being the first Author , who was a Murtherer from the beginning : who fil'd Cain with Enuy , that hee murdered his brother Abel : who tempted Dauid first to Adultery , and afterwards to Murther ; who prouoked Herod to cause the blessed Seruant of God Iohn Baptist to lose his head , because hee told him it was not lawfull for him to marry his brother Philips Wife ; and who was the prouoker of the aforesaid Herod to murther all the innocent male children in his Kingdome . And let vs but marke and consider the plagues and punishments that God hath inflicted vpon Murderers , Adulterers , and Incestuous persons : First , Cain , although by his birth hee was the first man that euer was borne , a Prince by his birth , and heire apparant to all the world ; yet for the Murther by him committed on his brother , he was the first Vagabond and Runnagate on the face of the earth , almost fearefull of his owne shaddow : and after he had liued along time terrifide in Conscience , was himselfe slaine ( as is supposed ) by Lamech . Simeon and Leu● the sonnes of Iacob were accurst of their Father for the slaughter of the Sichemites ; Ioab the Captaine of Dauids Host , was slaine for the murthering of Abner ; Dauid himselfe , for the death of Vrias , and the Adultery committed with Bethsheba , was continually plagued and vexed with the Sword of Warre , with the Rebellion of his owne sonnes , and with the vntimely deaths of Amnon , and Abs●lon . Baanah and R●chab , for the slaying of Ishbosheth the sonne of Saul , they were both by Dauids commandement put to death , who had both their hands and feete cut off , & were afterward hanged ouer the Poole in Hebron : Samuel 2. 4. The examples are infinite out of diuine and humane Histories , that God did neuer suffer Murder to goe vnrewarded : and this miserable man , of whom I haue heere related , is a most manifest spectacle of Gods reuenging vengeance , for that crying and hainous sinne . As concerning Lust and Incontinency , it is a short pleasure , bought with long paine , a hunnied poyson , a Gul●●● of Shame , a Pickpurse , a breeder of Diseases , a gall to the Conscience , a corrosiue to the heart , turning mans wit into foolish madnesse , the bodies bane , and the soules perdition : it is excessiue in youth , and odious in age ; besides , God himselfe doth denounce most fearefull threats against Fornicators and Adulterers , as the Apostle saith , that Whoremongers and Adulterers shall not inherit the Kingdome of Heauen , 1. Cor. 6. 9. And God himselfe saith , that he will be a swift witnes against Adulterers , Mal. 3. 5. And the Wise man saith , that because of the whorish woman , a man is brought to a morsell of bread , and a woman will hunt for the precious life of a man : For , saith he , can a man take fire in his bosome , and his cloathes not bee burnt ? or can a man goe vpon hot Coales , and his feete not be burnt ? So hee that goeth in to his neighbours Wife , shall not be innocent , Prou. 6. 27 , 28 , 29. Abimelech , one of the sonnes of Gedeon , murdered threescore and ten of his Brethren ; and in reward thereof ( by the iust Iudgement of God ) a woman with a piece of a Milstone beate out his braines , after hee had vsurped the Kingdome three yeeres , Iudges the 9. Our English Chronicles make mention , that Roger Mortimer , Lord Baron of Wallingford , murdered his Master King Edward the second , and caused the Kings Vncle , Edmund Earle of Kent , causelessely to bee beheaded : but Gods Iustice ouertooke him at last , so that for the said Murders hee was shamefully executed . Humphrey Duke of Glocester was murdered in the Abbey of Bury by William de la Poole Duke of Suffolke , who afterward was beheaded himselfe on the Sea by a Pyrat . Arden of Feuersham , and Page of Plimmouth , both their Murders are fresh in memory , and the fearefull ends of their Wiues and their Ayders in those bloudy actions will neuer bee forgotten . It is too manifestly knowne , what a number of Stepmothers and Strumpets haue most inhumanely murdred their Children , and for the same haue most deseruedly been executed . But in the memory of man ( nor scarcely in any History ) it is not to be found , that a Father did euer take two Innocent Children out of their beds , and with weeping teares of pittilesse pitie , and vnmercifull mercy , to drowne them , shewing such compassionate cruelty , and sorrowfull sighing remorcelesse remorce in that most vnfatherly and vnnaturall deede . All which may be attributed to the malice of the Diuell , whose will and endeuour is that none should be saued , who layes out his traps and snares , intangling some with Lust , some with Couetousnesse , some with Ambition , Drunkennesse , Enuy , Murder , Sloth , or any Vice whereto hee sees a man or a woman inclined most vnto , as hee did by this wretched man , lulling him , as it were , in the cradle of sensuality , and vngodly delight , vntill such time as all his meanes , Reputation , and Credit was gone , and nothing left him but misery and reproach . Then hee leades him along through doubts and feares , to haue no hope in Gods Prouidence , perswading his Conscience that his sinnes were vnpardonable , and his Estate and Credit vnrecouerable . VVith these suggestions , he led him on to despaire , and in desperation to kill his Children , and make shipwracke of his owne Soule , in which the diligence of the Diuel appeareth , that he labours and trauels vncessantly : and as Saint Bernard saith , in the last day shall rise in condemnation against vs , because he hath euer been more diligent to destroy soules , then wee haue been to saue them . And for a Conclusion , let vs beseech God of his infinite mercy to defend vs from all the subtill temptations of Satan . IOHN ROVVSE his Prayer for pardon of his lewd life , which hee vsed to pray in the time of his imprisonment . GOD of my Soule and Body , haue mercy vpon mee : the one I haue cast away by my Folly , and the other is likely to perish in thy Fury , vnlesse in thy great mercy thou saue it . My Sinnes are deepe Seas to drowne mee ; I am swallowed vp in the bottomlesse Gulph of my own transgressions . With Cain I haue beene a Murderer , and with Iudas a Betrayer of the Innocent . My body is a Slaue to Satan , and my wretched Soule is deuoured vp by Hell. Blacke haue beene my thoughts , and blacker are my deeds . I haue beene the Diuels instrument , and am now become the scorne of men ; a Serpent vpon earth , and an Out-cast from Heauen . What therefore can become of mee ( miserable Caitiffe ? ) if I looke vp to my Redeemer , to him I am an Arch Traitor , if vpon Earth , it is drowned with Blood of my shedding , if into Hell , there I see my Conscience , burning in the Brimstone Lake . God of my Soule and Body haue mercy therefore vpon mee : Saue mee , O saue mee , or else I perish for euer : I dye for euer in the world to come , vnlesse ( sweet Lord ) thou catchest my repentant Soule in thine Armes ; O saue me , saue me , saue me . IOHN ROVVSE of Ewell his own Arraignment , Confession , Condemnation , and Iudgement of himselfe , whilst he lay Prisoner in the White Lyon , for drowning of his two Children . I Am arraign'd at the blacke dreadfull Barre , Where Sinnes ( so red as Scarlet ) Iudges are ; All my Inditements are my horrid Crimes , Whose Story will affright succeeding Times , As ( now ) they driue the present into wonder , Making Men tremble , as trees struck with Thunder . If any askes what Euidence comes in ? O'Tis my Conscience , which hath euer bin A thousand witnesses : and now it tels A Tale , to cast me to ten thousand Hels . The Iury are my Thoughts ( vpright in this , ) They sentence me to death for doing amisse : Examinations more there need not then , Than what 's confest heere both to God and Men. The Cryer of the Court is my blacke Shame , Which when it cals my Iury , doth proclaime Vnlesse ( as they are summon'd ) they appeare , To giue true Verdict of the Prisoner , They shall haue heau 〈…〉 set , Such , as may 〈…〉 uens debt . About me round sit Innocence and Truth , As Clerkes to this high Court ; and little Ruth From Peoples eyes is cast vpon my face , Because my facts are barbarous , damn'd , and base . The Officers that 'bout me ( thicke ) are plac't , To guard me to my death , ( when I am cast ) Are the blacke stings my speckled soule now feeles , Which like to Furies dogge me , close at heeles . The Hangman , that attends me is Despaire , And gnawing wormes my fellow-Prisoners are . His Inditement for Murder of his Children . THe first who ( at this Sessions ) lowd doth call me , Is Murder , whose grim visage doth appall me , His eyes are fires , his voice rough windes out-rores , And on my head the Diuine Vengeance scores : So fast and fearfully I sinke to ground , And wish I were in twenty Oceans drownd . He sayes I haue a bloudy Villaine bin , And ( to proue this ) ripe Euidence steps in , Brow'd like my selfe : Iustice so brings about , That blacke sinnes still hunt one another out : 'T is like a rotten frame ready to fall , For one maine Post being shaken , puls downe all . To this Inditement , ( holding vp my hand , ) Fettered with Terrors mor● then Irons stand , And being ask'd what to the Bill I say , Guilty I cry . O dreadfull Sessions day ! His Iudgement . FOr these thick Stygian streams in which th' ast swom , Thy guilt hath on thee laid this bitter doome ; Thy loath'd life on a Tree of shame must take A leaue compeld by Law , e're old age make Her signed Passe-port ready . Thy offence No longer can for dayes on earth dispense . Time blot thy name out of this bloudy roule , And so the Lord haue mercy on my Soule . His speech what hee could say for himselfe . OWretched Caytiffe ! what perswasiue breath Can call back this iust Sentence of quicke death ? I begge no boone , but mercy at Gods hands , ( The King of Kings , the Soueraigne that commands Both Soule and Body ) O let him forgiue My Treason to his Throne , and whilst I liue , Iebbits and Racks shall torture limme by limme , Through worlds of Deaths I le breake to fly to him . My Birth-day gaue not to my Mothers wombe , More ease , then this shall ioyes , when e're it come . My body mould to earth , sinnes sinke to Hell , My penitent Soule win Heauen , vaine world farewell . FINIS . 
A13516	----	A valorous and perillous sea-fight Fought with three Turkish ships, pirats or men of warre, on the coast of Cornewall, (or Westerne part of England) by the good ship named the Elizabeth, of Plimmouth, she being of the Burthen of 200 tuns, which fight was bravely fought, on Wednesday, the 17 of Iune last part. 1640. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A13516 of text S103252 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 23809). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 25 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 13 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A13516 STC 23809 ESTC S103252 99839009 99839009 3403 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13516) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 3403) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1222:21) A valorous and perillous sea-fight Fought with three Turkish ships, pirats or men of warre, on the coast of Cornewall, (or Westerne part of England) by the good ship named the Elizabeth, of Plimmouth, she being of the Burthen of 200 tuns, which fight was bravely fought, on Wednesday, the 17 of Iune last part. 1640. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [24] p. : ill. Printed by E. P[urslowe] for Edward Wright, dwelling neere Christs-Church gate, London : 1640. Signed at end: Iohn Taylor. Printer's name from STC. Signatures: A-C⁴. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. eng Elizabeth (Ship) -- Early works to 1800. Naval battles -- Early works to 1800. A13516 S103252 (STC 23809). civilwar no A valorous and perillous sea-fight. Fought with three Turkish ships, pirats or men of warre, on the coast of Cornewall, (or Westerne part of Taylor, John 1640 4645 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Chris Scherer Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Chris Scherer Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Tho Iolley Esq. F. S. A. A Valorous and Perillous Sea-fight . Fought with three Turkish Ships , Pirats or men of Warre , on the coast of Cornewall , ( or Westerne part of England ) by the good Ship named the Elizabeth , of Plimmouth , She being of the Burthen of 200 Tuns , which fight was bravely fought , on Wednesday , the 17 of Iune last past . 1640. London Printed by E. P. for Edward Wright , dwelling neer Christs-Church gate . 1640. A VALOROVS Sea-fight . MAster Hackluit , in his well composed booke of Voyages , doth truly relate of many brave Attempts , and resolute Sea-fights , and withall hee doth name the Chiefe Commanders and others who valiantly liv'd and dy'd in the said Atchievements ; as Sebastian Cabot a Venetian borne , brought up in England , VVindam , VVilloughby , Chancelour , Grinvill , Cavendish , Gilbert , Chidlie , Frobisher , Hawkins , Clifford , Wingfield , Devoreux , Bascarvill , Drake , Rawleigh , who have all left famous remembrances of their valiant adventurous and fortunate services performed by them for the honour of their Prince and countrey , and their owne just commendations to the end of time . And in these later times this Kingdome hath produced many brave and able mem , that ( to the admiration of the world ) have plowed and furrowed the dangerous Ocean , and ( Maugre all oposition ) bin profitable and victorious , for the service and renowne of our Nation , such as were and are Pennington , Nicholas , Maldam , Weddell , Hyde , and many others , who doe deserve to have their names enrowl'd in the Booke of Fame . So ( for the continuation of this Kingdomes renowne ) it pleases God to supply us with valiant and undaundted Spirits , such as these of whom I am to make mention in this following discourse . On the 17. day of Iune last , a Ship of the Port of Plimmouth , of 200. in burthen , ( the name of her being the Elizabeth , and the owner of her is our Master Abraham Iennings , the Ship having binne in a Voyage to New-England , and thence to Virginia , after some 12. Months time returned Laden from thence , and making their best speed for their arrivall at home , they were ( on the day aforesaid ) about two of the clocke in the morning , within two Leagues neere to the Lizzard , which is a small Iland , a good Sea marke on the West part of the mount in Cornewall between Scilly & the main , Assaulted furiously by 3 Turkish Pirats ( or men of war ) where there was a most Bloody and cruell bickering . The accursed Mahometans , having gotten the winde of the Elizabeth , which was a great advantage for them , their Admirall being in burthen 230. Tunnes , with 22. Pieces of ordnance in her . The Vice Admirall was of a greater burthen , about 300. Tunnes , with 26. Pieces of ordnance : The Reare Admirall was in burthen 200. Tunnes , and had but 8. Pieces in her . So the Turkes had in their three Ships 56 : Pieces of Artillerie , the number of their men is unknowne . On the other side the Elizabeth had but 30. men , and three of that small number were Passengers , or ( as they tearme them planters ) and they had but ten Pieces of ordnance aboord , and of those , they could make use of , or plye but five Gunnes , the Ship was so pestered with packes , and other carriage betweene the Decks . The Master of the Ships name was Master Doves , ( who dwelt in Plimmouth ) a Man of an excellent and invincible Spirit , as the sequell of the fight , and his worthy life , and unfortunate death will shew . The fight continued about the time betweene seven and eight houres , and though the English Ship had but 3. Pieces of ordnance ( that could be used ) yet by Gods Assistance the Master Gunner ( being a skilfull valiant and experienc'd man , he so ply'd and play'd upon the miscreants , that he kill'd many of them . The Gunners of the Ships name is John Whidon . And all the while that the Master of the Shippe ( Master Doves ) most manfully and couragiously , did labour and bestire himselfe , and by his Valorous example gave encouragement to all the rest of his Companie that were in the Ship , amongst whom the three Passengers which were with us , did most worthy deserving service . The Master still chear'd them up , and told them , that ( by Gods Grace ) he would not give away his ship and himselfe to those accursed mis-believers , but that he was resolved with Christian courage to fight it out so long as his life lasted . And indeed hee was as good as his word , for being so long a time furiously assaulted with many Ordnance , and about 500 Enemies , and also being three times boorded , and entred by the Turkes ( who were also thrice beaten out againe ) their ship being fired , and their round house burnt , their maine-sayle was likewise consumed in the flames , and their rigging and Cordage cut downe and spoyl'd . At last the Master was slaine , ending his dayes Nobly , likewise the Masters-mate , and the Pilot , and quarter-Master were kild outright , they having done as much as men could do against so strong an enemy , kept Master Doves company , both in life and death , and in heavenly happinesse . In this terrible turmoyle , there were two of the Turkes had got themselves up into the Top , and one of the three passengers ( with a Musket ) shot at them , and kil'd them both : one of those slaine Pirats , was a man of an extraordinary great stature , and for his Corpulency , not to be equal'd amongst them all ; he being kil'd , the English did cleave his head , and then they divided it from his carkasse , they shewed the head and corps to the Turkes , and with renewed courages and unwearied Valour they haled to the enemy , and in braving manner said , come aboord you Dogges if you dare , and fetch your countrey-man ; But the Turkes finding the businesse so hot , and the men so resolute , that their damnable courages were quel'd , that they had no more mind to assault the English Ship any more . So they in deriding and showting to the Turkes , cast the dead body over-boord , on the one side of the Ship , and the Cloven head into the Sea , on the other . There were also three Turkes more slaine that came aboord . But how many the number of them that were kil'd is uncertaine , therefore let them reckon them . But surely their losse must needs be great , for the Master Gunner was so diligent , warie and expert , that it was not perceived that there was a shot lost or spent in vaine , and indeed for his skill and courage , he is esteemed not to have many fellowes in the West parts of England , for his knowledge in that Art . The losse on the Christian side , were those foure men , which were killed outright ( as is aforesaid ) there were also eight more of them dangerously wounded , whereof one of them is dead , since their arrivall at Plimmouth ; And ( praise be given to God ) the other seaven are all on the mending hand and indifferent well , so that there is no doubt of their recovery , to health and limbs unmaimed , onely their scars will remaine , as markes of their Valour , and badges of famous reputation . The Master Gunner , being the Chiefe Commander left alive in the Ship , did haile to the Turks againe , and dared them to come on againe and try the other bowt . But they had had such proofe of his courage and knowledge before in the fight , being so shattered , torne , and gauled ; That they could neither boast of Victory , nor durst then venture any more to gaine it , for they perceived the Gunners resolution was never to yeeld , and so they fell to their sayles , and tacklin , and very much discontented slunk away , making their moanes to Mahomet . There were certaine Hogges , and Powltrey , in the Elizabeth ; And in the heat of the fight , ( the Ship being much rent and torne with the Shot of the enemy ) the poore Swine and Pullen were killed , partly with the Bullets , but most with the shatters and splinters of shivered Planks , and timber of the Ship . Wherefore ( in derision and scorne of the Turkes , who doe abhorre and hold all manner of Swines flesh in abhomination ) The English marriners lifted up the Hogges , and shewed them to the Turke , as it were in a merry or jeeringway , to invite them to come aboord of their Ship to eate some Porke . Thus ( by the mercifull assistance of God ) this one poore Ship , so weakely man'd , and so meanely furnished with Artillery or Ordnance , against so many , and so great a multitude , ( as were 3. Ships , 500. Men , and 56. Peeces , maintaine a fight almost 8. houres , and ( with the losse of 3. Men ) not onely kill and spoyle a great number of their enemies , but also to escape them , and come off with reputation , ( as it were with Conquest , Tryumph , and Victory . It is almost to be thought miraculous and beyond beliefe , but that the truth of the matter is so plainly manifested that all oposing unbelief is vaine and frivolous . For after the Turkes had quite left them , they began every man to worke hard , some to lay the dead corps as decently and coole as time and place would give them leave , some others ( who had escaped hurts , or had not received great harmes in the fight ) did their best to helpe , dresse and comfort their wounded men : And some of them ( with all speed and diligence ) fell to mending their Ropes , Cordage , Rigging , and Sayles , which were cut , broken , spoyl'd , and burnt in the fight ; So that no one was Idle , every man imployed in doing something necessary , that ( by Gods guidance ) the Ship and goods arrived safe in the harbour , or port of Plimmouth . The next morning , which was Thursday , the eighteenth day of Iune last 1640. The bodies of the foure men that were slaine aboord the Elizabeth , were brought on shore , and in seemely manner buried . And at their funeralls they had two Learned , Accute , and Gratulatorie Sermons , the one of them was preached at the Master of the Ships funerall , by the Arch-deacon of Exeter , who is Vicar of Plimmouth , and the other was preached ( at the Masters-mates funerall ) by Master Thomas Bedfourd , Batchelour in divinity , and Lecturer of Plimmouth , and this may suffice for sufficient testimonie of the certainty of this former Relation . But if there be any that be yet doubtful or diffident in this case , let them ( for their further satisfaction ) read this following examination , of John Whiddon , the valiant and well deserving Gunner , whom my Pen cannot praise enough , nor these ingratefull times gratifie him ; Read but his examination as followeth , and be confirmed in the Truth , for this is a true Copie of it , which was sent up from Plimmouth , to London , to the right Honourable the Lords of his Majesties most Honourable privie Counsell . The examination of Iohn Whiddon of Plimmouth , in the County of Devon , Gunner , had and taken at Plimmouth aforesaid , before Robert Gubbs , Merchant , Major of the Borough of Plimmouth aforesaid , and one of his Majesties Iustices of the Peace , within the said Borough , the nineteenth day of Iune , 1640. THe said Examinant saith , that on Wednesday last about two of clocke in the morening , being the 17 of this instant Iune , hee being Gunner of a Ship called the Elizabeth , of Plimmouth , of two hundred Tuns burthen , or thereabouts , having ten pieces of Ordnance aboard her , and comming from Virginia , bound for Plimmouth , two leagues off of the Lizard , they met three Turkish men of Warre , who weathred and kept the said Elizabeth from the shoar , and gave her chase , and saith , that the Admirall was a ship of 250 Tuns burthen or therabouts : and had 22 pieces of Ordnance aboard her , and the Vice-Admirall was a shippe of 300 Tuns , and had 26 pieces of Ordnance ; and the Rere-Admirall was a ship of 200 tuns , and had eight pieces of Ordnance aboard her , and believeth that heretofore shee was a prize , and at first they all shewed both Dutch and English colours , and had at least 500 men aboard them , who betweene three and foure of the clocke in the morning , came up with them and boarded them , and continued fight with them , untill eleven or twelve of the clock that day ; during which time , the company of each of the said Turkish men of warre , boarded them three times , and fired their round House , killed their Master , Masters Mate , the Pylate , and Quarter-Master , and hurt eight other of their Company , fired their maine sayle , cut downe all their riggin , and with their great Shot did them and their Shippe a great deale of hurt and dammage , and afterwards did leave them ; presently after within two Leagues , or thereabouts off of the shoare , this Examinant , and the Company of the said Elizabeth , discovered eleven small Vessels floating on the streame , without sayles , or any men in them at all , which this Examinant , the Gunner of the Shippe , doth very certainely believe were taken by the said Turkish men of Warre , and their Company carried away by them , and doth say , that upon the eighteenth of this instant moneth of Iune , about foure of the clocke in the morning , they came into the harbour of Plimmouth . A Friendly , true , deserv'd Commendation and encouragement of all Mariners , and the noble Art of Navigation with the most excellent and necessary use of Shipping . THe use of Shippes and shipping , is of most worthy and memorable Antiquitie . For the blessed Patriarke Noah , built an Arke , ( by the Commandement of God ) of which Arke , Noah was Admirall , Master , and Pilot. That Arke was then the Militant Church , the whole Congregation being but 8 persons , and yet though they were but few , they were not all sound in Religious Piety , there was a Cham amongst them : All the people of the world , that had not grace to cōe aboord of the Arke were drowned , wherein was prefigured that as many as will not come , and be of Gods Church , are like to be cast away . And as the Arke was tost and weather-beaten upon the troublesome waves of the All-Sea World ( or Universall deluge ) till such time as she happily grounded on the mountain of Ararat in Armenia , Gen. 8.4 . And so shall the Church be continually turmoyl'd with tempests of tribulations , Seas of sorrow , stormes of strife , she being like a good peaceable Ship most inestimably richly laden , is daily assaulted by 3. wicked Pirats , ( the World , the Flesh , and the Devill ) who with their Associates and Vassals , ( the Ocean or Sea of Rome , the Schismaticall Gulfe of Separatisme , and the rough Lake of Nonconformisme , ) she hath not any Ankering , rest , or Moareing at all , but upon the mountaine of Holynesse , the Rocke of righteousnesse , the True Corner-stone , Christ Iesus . Our Saviour himselfe , did not onely passe the Sea or Lake of Genezareth , but he also did there ( in the Ship ) most miraculously command , and stil'd the raging windes and Seas , and he did grace one Ship so much , that he preached out of the said Ship , or another , to the people that stood on the banke of the Sea . Mat. 8.23 . Mat. 13.2 . Mar. 4.36 . Luk. 8.22 . And the Apostles ( for the enlarging and divulging their Ministry , which was the meanes of the knowledge of Salvation ) did make use of Ships , as it appeareth in divers places of Scripture . A Ship well govern'd at Sea , is an Epitomy of a wel guided Church , & common-wealth on the Land , and it is a thing to be wished , that the earth were as free from some sinnes , as the salt water is . For in a Ship at Sea , it is a rare matter , to see a man play the brutish parts of a Glutton , or Drunkard . There are no wrangling Lawyers , nor wicked Projectors , a Vsurer or a Catchpole are as rare to be found there , as it is to find Chastity in the Stewes . In a Ship is abstinency from swearing , and incontinency , and twice a day there is ( or ought to be ) prayer & thanksgiving offered up to God . Ships , are the impregnable Wooden walls of great Brittaine and Ireland . And the winged flying and floating Castles , forts , & fortifications for defence against forraigne invasion & domesticall rebellion : they were of that serviceable use in the raigne of King Edgar , that it is said that he did often sayle round about this Iland with 1000 ships . King Solomon had his Cedar brought ( for the building of the Temple , by Sea to Ioppa . 2. Chron. 2.16 . And he had also brought him in Ships from Ophir , 450. Talants of Gold . 2. Chron. 8.18 . Besides Algummim wood , ( of which Trees there were no more to be seene to this day ) 1. King. 10.12 . Besides , precious stones and jewels , were all brought by such Marriners and Ships as Hiram King of Tyrus lent to King Solomon . It is recorded that the warlike Virago Queene Semiramis , had 2000. Sayle of Ships and other Vessels , when she made warre against Cyrus King of Persia , Marke Anthony ( at the Battel of Actium ) with Cleopatra his Aegyptian Concubine Queene , had 800. sayle of Ships and gallies , against Octavius Augustus Caesar , and Caesar overcame that great number with 250 Ships ; read Plutarcks Lives , Page 1000. William the Conquerour came out of Normandy , and invaded England with 896. ships . Read Stowes Chronicle : King Charles of France , fought with 1200. Ships against King Richard the second , King of England ; in revenge of an overthrow by sea that was given to the French by King Edward the third , who was King Richards Grand-father . In the yeare 1571. At the Battel of Lepanto ( which is a gulph or sea neere Corinth , in Greece ) betweene the united Christians and the Turkes , on the seventh of October , the Christian fleet being of great and small , but 206. Sayle . The Turkes were in number of Ships and gallies 333. in the 14. yeare of Queene Elizabeths raigne , when Selimus the second of that name was Turkish Emperour . Then and there ( aforesaid ) was a bloody Battel fought where ( to the great joy and safety of all Christendome ) the Christians in five houres won a notable and memorable Victory , and very few of the miscreant Turkes , went home to carry newes to Constantinople . Reade Knoles Turkes History , or else Reade Stowe , page 670. And it ought thankfully ever to be remembred , the great and wonderfull Victory that God vouchsafed to give us , from the Spanish invasion 1588. in the 31. yeare of the raigne of Queene Elizabeth , the Spanish Armado being 128. Vessels for warre ( besides victuallers ) the English navie being ( one with another ) 104. sayle , and there was a supply of 340. ships more which the Prince of Parma ( Alexander Fernesius ) was to bring for the Spanish Ayd , and Englands ruine . But wind , weather , and the Hollanders kept Parma and his fleet in the havens of Graveling , Dunkirke , Newport , and some other Ports of Flanders , so that by Gods assistance , the Valour and Valiant service of the English marriners was so prevailing , that the Spaniards , were beaten , battered , slaine , taken , sunke , and so shattered , tattered , and scattered , there were not many of them left to make report in Spaine , of their entertainment in England . Thus having shewed partly the Antiquity of shipping , with the services which they doe for , and in matters of warre , so it is fit to be considered what commodious uses are made of shipping , and marriners in time of peace . It is manifest that as God hath beene mercifully , liberally , bountifull , to all Nations and people of the world , giving to each Climate and Countrey meanes for the maintaining of life , yet he hath not given all kinds of commodities to any one place , Kingdome or dominion . But for the society of mankind he hath ordained negotiation commerce and Traffique . The gold and silver jewels of India , the honie , waxe , hempe , and furres of Russia ; the winds , oyles , spices , drugs , sugers , silkes , stuffes , Copper , cotton , mashes , yards , pitch , rosen , tarre , turpentine , fruits , fish , coales , and millions of commodities more ( I had almost forgotten Tobacco ) from America , and some rattels , babyes , and Hobby-horses from Holland ) all these , were it not for shipping , marriners , Marchandize , and Traffique , we ( in England ) were like to want , besides millions of commodities more , which are endlesse and impossible by me to be named ; and other Nations would be destitute of our Leade , Tinne , Leather , Cloath , Tallow , Beere , and I know not how many other pretty things which we doe vent , venture , and spare , to all the Realmes and regions almost of the whole World . By which meanes customes are encreased and payd , peace and unity maintained betweene Nation and Nation , Merchants enriched , marriners and Sea-men bred and maintained , and many thousands of Arts , Sciences , Trades , Crafts , Mysteries , and occupations , doe live well , and innumerable numbers of poore labouring people are set on worke . True Valour is both invinceable and impregnable , and ( not savouring of dull mortality ) in spight of death is immortall . It knows that the onely life is to live well . It shews that happinesse consists in wealth , for thieves may steale that , wife , parents , children , kindred , friends , & our acquaintance may dye , & all earthly goods may be spoyled & consumed by fire , water , time , or some natural or Accidentall way or other ; but true valour is onely Long-liv'd , for it guids a Christian couragiously all his life from whence it conducts to an honourable Death , and Death cannot hold it , but delivers it to Fame , Fame , layes it up in the Register of Time , and Time leaves it to everlasting Eternity . To which in all my best wishes I doe give both the dead and the living that were in this former related Sea-fight ; or have dyed or will dare to dye for their Christian Faiths , Prince , and Country : I meane not rashnesse , anger , fury , or desperate madnesse , for Lyons , Beares , Bulls , Boares , Dogges , Tygers , Cockes , and such unreasonable creatures , will fight , snarle , scratch , byte , teare , rend , and destroy one another . But if it be ask'd wherefore they doe it , they doe neither know or can tell . But true Valour indeed doth know that God hath put an immortall soule into a mortall body ( or transitory tenement ; to inhabite therein till such time as the ( Lord of life ) great Landlord of all things , doth ( at his pleasure ) command the tennant forth of a poore house of clay , to an everlasting Mansion and perpetuall habitation of Happinesse . And as God delivered the Israelits out of Aegypt , most miraculously , as his Almighty power protected David , from Saul & Absolon , Daniel from the hungry fierce Lyons , Noah from the almost all devouring flood , Ionah from the Whale , the three Children from the fiery Furnace , Iob from the Dunghill , Nebuchadnezzar from Beasts and exile ; Ioseph from his brethrens malice , and Potiphars furie , Manasses from the Dungeon , Ieremie from captivity , England from Spaines invasion , and Romes powder plot , so did hee most wonderfully preserve this poore Shippe ( the Elizabeth of Plimmouth ) and the Valiant men therein from Apparent danger and destruction . For the which , and all other , his infinite undeserved mercies , to him alone be given all honour , and glorie , Amen . IOHN TAYLOR . FINIS . 
A13519	----	A verry merry vvherry-ferry-voyage: or Yorke for my money sometimes perilous, sometimes quarrellous, performed with a paire of oares, by sea from London, by Iohn Taylor, and Iob Pennell. And written by I.T. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1622 Approx. 53 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 17 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13519 STC 23812 ESTC S118266 99853473 99853473 18856 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13519) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18856) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:28) A verry merry vvherry-ferry-voyage: or Yorke for my money sometimes perilous, sometimes quarrellous, performed with a paire of oares, by sea from London, by Iohn Taylor, and Iob Pennell. And written by I.T. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [32] p. Imprinted by Edw: All-de, London : 1622. I.T. = John Taylor. In verse. Signatures: A-B. Running title reads: A very merry wherry-ferry-voyage. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Pennell, Job. Rivers -- England -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. England -- Description and travel -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-09 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-11 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-11 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A Verry Merry VVherry-Ferry-Voyage : OR Yorke for my Money : Sometimes Perilous , sometimes Quarrellous , Performed with a paire of Oares , by Sea from London , by IOHN TAYLOR , and IOB PENNELL . And written by I. T. LONDON . Imprinted by Edw : All-de . 1622. As much Happinesse as may bee wished , attend the Two hopefull , Impes of Gentility and Learning , Mr. RICHARD and GEORGE HATTON . YOu forward Payre , in Towardly Designes , To you I send these sowsde Salt-water Lines : Accept , Reade , Laugh , and breath , and to 't againe , And still my Muse , and I , shall yours Remaine . Iohn Taylor . Prologue . I Now intend a Voyage heere to Write , From London vnto Yorke , helpe to Indite Great Neptune ! lend thy Ayde to me , who pa● Through thy tempestuous Waues with man● a blas● And then I●● true describe the Townes , & me● And manners , as I went and came agen . A very Merry Wherry-Ferry-Voyage , Or , Yorke for my Money . THE Yeare which I doe call as others doe , Full 1600. adding Twenty a two : The Month of Iuly , that 's for euer fam'd , ( Because 't was so by b Iulius Caesar nam'd , ) Iust when sixe dayes , and to each Day a Night , The dogged c Dog-dayes had began to bite , On that day which doth blest Remembrance bring , The name of an Apostle , and our King , On that remarkeable good day , Saint Iames I vndertooke my Voyage downe the Thames . The Signe in d Cancer , or the Ribs and Brest , And Eolus blewe sweetly West Southwest . Then after many farewels , Cups and Glasses , ( Which oftentimes hath made men worse then Asses ) About the waste or e Nauell of the Day , Not being dry or Drunke , I went my way . Our Wherry somewhat olde , or strucke in age , That had endur'd neere 4. yeares Pilgrimage , And caryed honest people , Whores , and Thieues , Some Sergeants , Bayliffes , and some f vnder-Shrieues , And now at last it was her lot to be Th'aduent'rous bonny Barke to carry me . But as an olde Whores Beauty being gone Hides Natures wracke , with Artlike painting on : So I with Colours finely did repaire My Boates defaults , and made her fresh and faire . Thus being furnish'd with good Wine and Beere , And Bread and Meate ( to banish hungers feare ) With Sayles , with Ancker , Cables , Sculs and Oares , With Carde and Compasse , to know Seas and Shores , With Lanthorne , Candle , Tinder-box and Match , And with good Courage , to worke , ward , and watch , Well man'd , well ship'd , well victual'd , well appointed , Well in good health , well timberd and well joynted : All wholly well , and yet not halfe Fox'd well , Twixt Kent , and Essex , we to Grauesend fell . There I had welcome of my friendly Host , ( A Grauesend Trencher , and a Grauesend Tost ) Good meate and Lodging at an easie Rate , And rose betimes although I lay downe late . Bright Lucifer the messenger of Day , His burnisht twinkling splendour did display : Rose cheek'd Aurora hid her blushing face , She spying Phoebus comming gaue him place . Whilest Zephirus , and Auster , mix'd together , Breath'd gently , as fore-boding pleasant weather . Olde Neptune had his Daughter Thames supplide , With ample measure of a flowing Tide , But Thames supposde it was but borrowed goods , And with her Ebbes , payde Neptune backe his Floods . Then at the time of this Auspicious dawning , I rowz'd my men , who Scrubbing , stretching , yawning , Arose , left Grauesend , Rowing downe the streame , And neere to Lee , wee to an Ancker came . Because the Sands were bare , and Water lowe , We rested there , till it two houres did Flowe : And then to trauell went our Galley foyst , Our Ancker quickly weigh'd , our sayle soone hoyst , Where thirty miles we past , a mile from shore , The water two * foote deepe , or little more . Thus past we on the braue East Saxon Coast , From 3. at morne , till 2. at noone almost , By Shobury , Wakering , Fowlenesse , Tittingham , And then wee into deeper water came . There is a crooked Bay runnes winding farre , To Maulden , Esterford , and Colchester , Which cause 't was much about , ( to ease mens paine ) I left the Land , and put into the mayne . With speed , the crooked way to scape and passe , I made out straight for Frinton , and the Nasse . But being 3. Leagues then from any Land , And holding of our Maine sheate in my hand , We did espy a coleblacke Cloud to rise , Fore-runner of some Tempest from the Skies ; Scarce had we sayl'd a hundred times our length , But that the winde began to gather strength : Stiffe Eolus , with Neptune went to Cuffes , With huffes , and puffes , and angry counter-Buffes , From boyst'rous Gusts , they fell to fearefull flawes , Whilest we 'twixt winde & water , neere Death's iawes Tost like a Corke vpon the mounting maine , Vp with a whiffe , and straight way downe againe , At which we in our mindes much troubled were , And said God blesse vs all , what Wethers heere ? For ( in a worde ) the Seas so high did growe , That Ships were forc'd to strike their topsailes lowe , Meane time ( before the winde ) wee scudded braue , Much like a Ducke , on top of euery waue . But nothing violent is permanent , And in short space away the Tempest went. So farewell it ; and you that Readers be Suppose it was no welcome Guest to me : My Company and I , it much perplext , And let it come when I send for it next . But leauing jesting , Thankes to God I giue , T was through his mercy wee did scape and liue . And though these thinges with mirth I doe expresse , Yet still I thinke on God with thankefulnes . Thus ceast the Storme and weather gan to smile , And we Row'd neere the shoare of Horsey I le . Then did Illustrious Titan seeme to steepe His Chariot in the Westerne Ocean deepe : We saw the farre spent Day , withdraw his light , And made for Harwich , where we lay all night . There did I finde an Hostesse with a Tongue , As nimble as it had on Gimmols hung : T will neuer tire , though it continuall toyl'd , And went as yare , as if it had bin Oyl'd : All 's one for that , for ought which I perceiue , It is a fault which all our Mothers haue : And is so firmely grafted in the Sexe , That hee 's an Asse that seemes thereat to vexe . Apolloes Beames began to guild the Hils , And West Southwest the winde the Welkin fils . When I left Harwich , and along we Row'd Against a smooth Calme flood that stifly flow'd , By Bawdsey Hauen , and by Orford Nasse , And so by Aldbrough we at last did passe . By Lestoffe , we to Yarmouth made our way , Our third dayes trauell being Saturday , There did I see a Towne well fortifide , Well gouern'd , with all Natures wants supplide , The scituation in a wholesome ayre , The Buildings ( for the most part ) sumptuous , faire , The people courteous , and industrious , and With labour makes the Sea inrich the land . Besides ( for aught I know ) this one thing more , The Towne can scarcely yeeld a man a Whore : It is renownd for fishing farre and neere , And sure in Britaine it hath not a Peere . But noble Nash thy fame shall liue alwayes , Thy witty Pamphlet , the red * Herrings praise Hath done great Yarmouth much renowned right , And put my Artlesse Muse to silence quite : On Sunday we a learned Sermon had , Taught to confirme the good , reforme the bad ; Acquaintance in the Towne I scarce had any , And sought for none , in feare to finde too many , Much kindnesse to me by mine Host was done , ( A Marriner * nam'd William Richardson ) Besides mine Hostesse gaue to me at last A Cheese , with which at Sea we brake our fast , The Guift was round , and had no end indeede , But yet we made an end of it with speede : My thanks surmounts her bounty , all men sees My Gratitudes in Print : But where 's the Cheese ? So on the Munday , betwixt one and twaine , I tooke my leaue , and put to Sea againe . Down Yarmouth Roade we Row'd with cutting speed , ( The Wind all quiet , Armes must doe the deed ) Along by Castor , and Sea-bord'ring Townes , Whose Cliffes & shores abide sterne Neptunes frownes , Sometimes a mile from land , and sometimes two , ( As depthes or sands permitted vs to do ) Till drawing toward night , we did perceaue The wind at East , and Seas began to heaue : The rowling Billowes all in fury Roares And tumbled vs , we scarce could vse our Oares : Thus on a Lee shore , darknesse gan to come , The Sea grew high , the winds gan hisse and hum : The foaming curled waues the shore did beate , ( As if the Ocean would all Norfolke eate ) To keepe at Sea , was dangerous I did thinke , To goe to land I stood in doubt to sinke : Thus landing , or not landing ( I suppos'd ) We were in perill * round about inclos'd ; At last to Rowe to shore I thought it best , 'Mongst many euils , thinking that the least : My men all pleas'd to doe as I command , Did turne the Boates head opposite to land , And with the highest Waue that I could spie , I bad them Row to shore immediatly . When straite we all leap'd ouer-boord in hast , Some to the knees , and some vp to the waste , Where suddainly t'wixt Owle-light and the darke , We pluck'd the Boat beyond high water marke . And thus halfe sowsde , halfe stewd , with Sea and sweat , We land at Cromer Towne halfe dry , halfe wet . But we supposing all was safe and well In shunning * Silla , on Caribdis fell : For why some women , and some children there That saw vs land , were all possest with feare : And much amaz'd , ranne crying vp and downe , That Enemies were come to take the Towne . Some said that we were Pyrats , some said Theeues , And what the women saies , the men beleeues . With that foure Constables did quickly call , Your ayde ! to Armes you men of Cromer all ! Then straitway forty men with rusty Bills , Some arm'd in Ale , all of approued skills , Deuided into foure stout Regiments , To guard the Towne from dangerous Euents ; Braue Captaine * Pescod did the Vantguard lead , And Captaine Clarke the Rereward gouerned , Whilst Captaine Wiseman , and hot Captaine Kimble , Were in the mayne Battalia fierce and nimble : One with his squadron watch'd me all the night , Least from my lodging I should take my flight : A second ( like a man of speciall note ) Did by the Sea side all night watch my Boate , The other two , to make their names Renownd , Did Guard the Towne , and brauely walke the Rownd . And thus my Boat , my selfe , and all my men , Were stoutly Guarded , and Regarded then : For they were all so full with feare possest , That without mirth it cannot be exprest . My Inuention doth Curuet , my Muse doth Caper , My Pen doth daunce out lines vpon the Paper , And in a word , I am as full of mirth , As Mighty men are at their first sonnes birth . Me thinkes Moriscoes are within my braines , And Heyes and Antiques run through all my vaines : Heigh , to the tune of Trenchmoore I could write The valient men of Cromers sad affright : As Sheepe doe feare the Wolfe , or Geese the Fox , So all amazed were these sencelesse blockes : That had the Towne beene fir'd , it is a doubt , But that the women there had pist it out , And from the men Reek'd such a fearefull sent , That People three * miles thence mus'd what it meant , And he the truth that narrowly had sifted , Had found the Constables , had need t' haue shifted . They did examine me , I answer'd than I was Iohn Taylor , and a Waterman , And that my honest fellow Iob and I , Were seruants to King Iames his Maistie , How we to Yorke , vpon a Mart were bound , And that we landed , fearing to be drownd : When all this would not satisfie the Crew , I freely op'd my Trunke , and bad them view , I shew'd them Bookes , of Chronicles and Kings , Some Prose , some verse , and idle Sonnettings , I shewed them all my Letters to the full , Some to Yorkes Archbishop , and some to Hull , But had the twelue Apostles sure beene there My witnesses , I had beene nere the * neere . And let me vse all Oathes that I could vse , They still were harder of beliefe then Iewes . They wanted faith , and had resolu'd before , Not to belieue what e're we said or swore . They said the world was full of much deceit , And that my Letters might be * counterfeit : Besides , there 's one thing bred the more dislike , Because mine Host was knowne a Catholike . These things concurring , people came in Clusters , And multitudes within my lodging Musters , That I was almost wooried vnto death , In danger to be stifled with their breath . And had mine Host tooke pence a peece of those Who came to gaze on me , I doe suppose , No Iack an Apes , Baboone , or Crocodile ' Ere got more money in so small a * while . Besides , the Pesants did this one thing more , They call'd and dranke foure shillings on my score : And like vnmanner'd Mungrells went their way , Not spending aught , but leauing me to * pay . This was the houshold businesse , in meane space Some Rascals ran vnto my Boate apace , And turn'd and tumbled her , like men of Goteham , Quite topsie turuy vpward with her bottome , Vowing they would in tatters piece-meale teare , The cursed Pyrates Boate , that bred their feare ; And I am sure , their madnesse ( to my harme ) Tore a Boord out , much longer then mine arme . And they so bruis'd , and split our Wherry , that She leak'd , we cast out water with a Hat. Now let men iudge , vpon these truthes reuealing , If Turkes or Mores could vse more barbarous dealing , Or whether it be fit I should not write , Their enuie , foolish feare , and mad despight . What may wise men conceiue , when they shall note That fiue vnarm'd men , in a Wherry Boate , Nought to defend , or to offend with stripes But one old * sword , and two Tobacco Pipes , And that of Constables a Murniuall , Men , women , children , all in generall , And that they all should be so valiant , wise , To feare we would a Market Towne surprise ! In all that 's writ I vow I am no lyer , I muse the Beacons were not set on fire . The dreadfull names of Talbot , or of Drake , Ne're made the foes of England more to quake Then I made Cromer , for their feare and dolour , * Each man might smell out by his Neighbours Collor . At last the ioyfull morning did approach , And Sol began to mount his flaming Coach , Then did I thinke my Purgatory done , And rose betimes intending to be gone ; But holla , stay , 't was otherwayes , with me The messe of Constables were shrunke to three Sweet Mr. Pescods double diligence Had horst himselfe , to beare intelligence , To Iustices of Peace within the land , What dangerous businesse there was now in hand , There was I forc'd to tarry all the while , Till some said he rode foure and twenty mile , In seeking men of worship , peace and quorum , Most wisely to declare strange newes before vm . And whatsoeuer tales he did recite , I 'm sure he caus'd Sir Austine Palgraue , Knight , And Mr. Robert Kempe a Iustice there Come before me , to know how matters were . As conference twixt them and I did passe , They quickly vnderstood me , what I was : And though they knew me not in prose and lookes , They had read of me in my verse , and bookes , My businesses account I there did make , And I and all my Company did take , The lawfull Oath of our Alleageance then , By which we were beleeu'd for honest men . In duty , and in all humility I doe acknowledge the kinde courtesie Of those two Gentlemen : for they did see , How much the people were deceiu'd in me . They gaue me Coyne , and Wine and Suger too , And did as much as lay in them to doe To finde them that my Boate had torne and rent , And so to giue them worthy punishment . Besides Sir * Austin Palgraue , bad me this , To goe but foure miles , where his Dwelling is , And I and all my Company should there Finde friendly Welcome , mix'd with other Cheare . I gaue them thankes , and so I 'le giue them still , And did accept their Cheere in their goodwill . Then 3. a Clocke at afternoone and past , I was Discharg'd from Cromer at the last . But for men shall not thinke that Enuiously Against this Towne I let my Lines to flye : And that I doe not lye , or scoffe , or fable , For them I will write something Charitable . It is an Ancient Market Towne that stands Vpon a lofty Cliffe of mouldring Sands : The Sea against the Cliffes doth dayly beate , And euery tide into the Land doth eate , The Towne is Poore , vnable by Expence , Against the raging Sea to make defence : And euery day it eateth further in , Still wasting , washing downe the sand doth win . That if some Course be not tane speedily , The Towne 's in danger in the Sea to lye . A goodly Church stands on these brittle Grounds , Not many fairer in Great Britaines Bounds : And if the Sea should swallow 't , as some feare , T is not Ten thousand pounds the like could Reare , No Christian can behold it but with griefe , And with my heart I wish them quicke reliefe . So farewell Cromer , I haue spoke for thee , Though thou didst much vnkindly deale with me , And honest Marriners , I thanke you there Laboriously you in your armes did beare My Boat for me three furlongs at the least , When as the tyde of Ebb was so decreast , You waded , and you launch'd her quite a floate , And on your backes you bore vs to our Boate. Th'vnkindnes that I had before , it come Because the Constables were troublesome : Long'd to be busie , would be men of action , Whose labours was their trauels satisfaction , Who all were borne when wit was out of Towne , And therefore got but little of their owne : So farewell Pescod , Wiseman , Kimble , * Clarke , Foure sonnes of Ignorance ( or much more darke ) You made me loose a day of braue calme weather , So once againe farewell , fare ill together . Then longst the Norfolke Coast we Rowde outright To Blakeney , when we saw the comming night , The burning eye of day began to winke , And into Thetis lap his Beames to shrinke : And as he went stain'd the departed skie , With red , blew , purple , and vermillion dye . Till all our Hemispere laments his lack . And mourning night puts on a Robe of black , Bespangled diuersly with Golden sparkes , Some moueable , some Sea-mens fixed markes . The milky way that blest Astrea went , When as she left this earthly Continent , Shew'd like a Christall cawsey to the Thrones Of Ioue and Saturne , Pau'd with precious Stones . Olde Occeanus , Neptune , a Innachus , And two and thirty huffecapt Eolus , Had all tane truce and were in League combin'd , No billowes foaming , or no breath of Winde ; The solid Earth , the Ayre , the Ocean deepe Seem'd as the whole world had bin fast asleepe . In such a pleasant Euen as this came I To Blackney , with my Ship and Company : Whereas I found my Entertainment good For welcome , drinking , lodging , and for food . The morrow when Latonaes Sunne gan rise , And with his Light illumines mortall eyes : When Cockes did Crow , and Lambes did bleat & blea , I mounted from my Couch , and put to Sea. Like Glasse the Oceans face was smooth and calme , The gentle Ayre breath'd like Arabian Balme : Gusts , stormes and flawes , lay sleeping in their Celles Whilest with much labour we Row'd o're the Welles . This was our greatest b Day of worke indeed , And it behoou'd vs much , to make much speed , For why before that Day did quite expire We past the dangerous Wash , to Lincolnshire . And there in 3. houres space and little more We Row'd to Boston , from the Norfolke shore : Which by Report of people that dwell there , Is sixe and twenty mile or very neere . The way vnknowne , and we no Pilate had , Flats , Sands and shoales ; and Tides all raging mad , Which Sands our passage many times denide , And put vs sometimes c 3. or foure miles wide , Besides the Flood Runs there , with such great force , That I imagine it out-runnes a Horse : And with a head some 4. foot high , that Rores , It on the sodaine swels and beats the Shores. It tumbled vs a Ground vpon the Sands , And all that wee could doe with wit , or hands , Could not resist it , but we were in doubt It would haue beaten our Boates bottome out . It hath lesse mercy then Beare , Wolfe , or Tyger , And in those Countries it is call'd the * Hyger . We much were vnacquainted with those fashions , And much it troubled vs with sundry passions : We thought the shore we neuer should Recouer , And look'd still when our Boate would tumble ouer . But He that made all with his word of might , Brought vs to Boston , where we lodg'd all night . The morrow morning , when the Sunne gan Peepe . I wak'd and rub'd mine eyes , and shak'd off sleepe , And vnderstanding that the Riuer went , From Boston , vp to Lancolne , and to Trent , To Humber , Owse , and Yorke , and ( taking paine ) We need not come in sight of Sea againe . I lik'd the motion , and made hast away To Lincolne , which was 50. mile , that day . Which Citty in the 3. King Edwards Raigne , Was th' onely Staple , for this Kingdomes gaine For Leather , Lead , and Wooll , and then was seene Fiue times ten Churches there , but now fifteene , A braue Cathedrall Church there now doth stand , That scarcely hath a fellow in this Land : T is for a Godly vse , a goodly Frame , And beares the blessed Virgin Maryes name . The Towne is Ancient , and by Course of Fate , Through Warrs , and Time , defac'd and Ruinate , But Monarchies , and Empires , Kingdomes , Crownes , Haue rose or fell , as Fortune smiles or frownes : And Townes , and Citties , haue their portions had Of time-tost Variations , good and bad . There is a Prouerbe , part of which is this , They say that Lincolne was , and London is . From thence we past a Ditch of Weedes and Mud , Which they doe ( falsely ) there call * Forcedike Flood : For I 'le be sworne , no flood I could finde there , But dirt and filth which scarce my Boate would beare , T is 8. miles long , and there our paines was such , As all our trauell did not seeme so much , My men did wade , and drawe the Boate like Horses , And scarce could tugge her on with all our forces : Moyl'd , toyl'd , myr'd , tyr'd , still lab'ring , euer doing , Yet were we 9. long houres that 8. miles going . At last when as the Day was well nigh spent , We gat from Forcedikes floodles flood to Trent . Eu'n as the Windowes of the Day did shut , Downe Trents swift streame to Gainsborough we put , There did we rest vntill the morning Starre , The ioyfull doores of Dawning did vn-barre : To Humbers churlish streames , our Course we fram'd , So Nam'd , for Drowning of a King so nam'd . And there the swift Ebbe tide ranne in such sort , The Winde at East , the Waues brake thicke and short , That in some doubts , it me began to strike , For in my life , I ne're had seene the like . My way was vp to Yorke , but my intent Was contrary , for from the fall of Trent I fifteene mile went downewards East Northeast , When as my way was vpward West Southwest . And as against the Winde we madly venter , The Waues like Pirates boord our Boate and enter , But though they came in fury , and amaine Like thieues we cast them ouer-boord againe . This Conflict lasted two houres to the full , Vntill we gat to Kingstone vpon Hull : For to that Towne I had a Proued friend , That Letters did and Commendations send By me vnto the worthy Maiestrate , The Maior , and some of 's Brethren , in that State. Besides I had some Letters , of like Charge From my good Friend , the Master of the Barge Vnto some friends of his , that they would there Giue me * Hull Cheese , and welcome and good Cheere . Sunday at Mr. Maiors much Cheere and Wine Where as the Hall did in the Parlour Dine , At night with one that had bin Shrieue I Sup'd Well entertain'd I was , and halfe well Cup'd : On Monday noone , I was inuited than To a graue Iusticer , an Alderman , And there such Cheere as Earth and Waters yeeld , Shew'd like a Haruest in a plentious Feild . Another I must thanke for his Goodwill , For he Prest * on to bid me welcome still . There is a Captaine of good Life and Fame And , God * with vs , I oft haue call'd his Name : He welcom'd me , as I had bin his fellow Lent me his silken Colours , Blacke and Yellow , Which to our Mast made fast , wee with a Drum Did keepe , till we to Yorke in Triumph come . Thankes to my louing Host and Hostesse Pease There at mine Inne , each Night I tooke mine ease : And there I gat a Cantle of Hull Cheese One Euening late , I thanke thee * Macabees . Kinde Roger Parker , many thankes to thee , Thou shewedst much vndeserued loue to me , Layd my Boat safe , spent time , Coyne and endeauour , And mad'st my money counted Copper euer . But as at Feasts , the first Course being past , Men doe reserue their Dainties till the last , So my most thankes I euer whilest I liue Will to the Mayor , and his Bretheren giue , But most of all , to shut vp all together I giue him thankes that did Commend * me thither , Their Loues ( like Humber ) ouer-flow'd the bankes , And though I Ebbe in worth , I 'le flowe in Thankes . Thus leauing off the Men , now of the Towne Some thinges which I obseru'd I 'le heere set downe : And partly to declare it's praise and worth , It is the onely Bulwarke of the North. All other Townes for strength to it may strike , And all the Northerne parts hath not the like , The people from the Sea much Wealth haue wonne , Each man doth liue as hee were Neptunes Sonne . Th'Antiquity thereof a man may Reede In Reuerend Cambdens workes , and painefull Speede : How in King Edwards Raigne first of that Name Then called Wike . Then did they Kingston frame , And then the Townesmen cut a * Riuer there , An exc'lent Hauen , a Defence or Peere : Built with excessiue Charge , to saue it from Fierce Humbers Raging , that each Tide doth come . From time to time , more Greatnes still it gain'd , Till lately when the Eight King Henry Raign'd , He made it greater , by his oft Resort , And many times kept there his Royall Court , He Wall'd it well , built Battlements , and Gates , And ( more with Honour to augment their States ) He built two Blockhouses , and Castle strong To Guard the Towne from all Inuasiue wrong . He gaue them much Munition , Swords , Shafts , Bowes , And Brazen Ordnance , as the world well knowes , Which Guns he gaue them for the Townes defence , But were in 88. all borrowed thence , With promise they againe should be sent backe , But the performance euer hath bin slacke . Now in this Yron age , their Guns I see , Are mettle like the Age , and Yron be : And glad they would be if they could obtaine , To change that mettle , for their owne againe . Foure well built Gates , with bolts , and lockes & barres For ornament or strength , in Peace or Warres : Besides to keepe their Foes the further out , They can Drowne all the Land 3. miles about . T is plentifully seru'd with Flesh and Fish , As cheape , as reasonable men can wish . And thus by Gods grace , and mans industry , Dame Nature , or mens Art doth it supply . Some 10. yeares since Fresh water there was scant , But with much Cost they haue supply'd that want : By a most exc'lent Water-worke that 's made , And to the Towne in Pipes it is conuay'd , Wrought with most Artificiall engines , and Perform'd by th' Art of the Industrious hand Of Mr. * William Maltby , Gentleman , So that each man of Note there alwayes can But turne a Cocke within his House , and still They haue Fresh-water alwayes at their will , This haue they all vnto their great Content , For which they each doe pay a yearely Rent . There is a Prouerbe , and a Prayer withall , That we may not to three strange places fall : From Hull , from Hallifax , from Hell , 't is thus , From all these three * Good Lord deliuer vs. This Praying prouerb 's meaning to set downe , Men doe not wish deliuerance from the Towne : The Townes Nam'd Kingstone , Hulls the furious Riuer And from Hulls dangers , I say , Lord deliuer . At Hallifax , the Law so sharpe doth deale , That who so more then 13. Pence doth steale , They haue a Iynn , that wondrous quicke and well , Sends Thieues all Headlesse vnto Heau'n or Hell. From Hell each man sayes , Lord deliuer me , Because from Hell can no Redemption be : Men may escape from Hull and Hallifax , But sure in Hell there is a heauier tax , Let each one for themselues in this agree And pray , From Hell good Lord deliuer me . The Prouerbe and the Prayer expounded plaine , Now to the Orders of the Towne againe : I thinke it merites praise for Gouernment , More then all Townes in Britaines Continent , As first their Charity doth much appeare , They for the Poore haue so * prouided there , That if a man should walke from Morne till Night , He shall not see one Begger ; nor a Mite Or any thing shall be demaunded euer , But euery one there doth their best endeuour To make the Idle worke , and to Relieue Those that are Olde and past , or Sicknes grieue . All Poore mens Children haue a House most fit Whereas they Sowe , and Spin , and Card , and Knit , Where all of them haue something still to doe , As their Capacities will reach vnto , So that no Idle person , Olde or Young Within the Towne doth harbour or belong . It yearely Costs Fiue hundred pounds besides , To fence the Towne , from Hull and Humbers tides , For Stakes , for Bauins , Timber , Stones and Piles , All which are brought by Water many miles , For Workmens labour , and a world of things Which on the Towne excessiue Charges brings . All which with perill , industry and sweat , They from the bowels of the Ocean get . They haue a Bridewell , and an exc'lent skill To make some people worke against their will : And there they haue their Lodging and their meate , Cleane Whips , and euery thing exceeding neate , And thus with faire or foule meanes alwayes , they Giue idle persons little time to Play. Besides for euery Sea or Marine cause They haue a House of Trinity , whose Lawes And Orders doe Confirme , or else Reforme That which is Right , or that which wrongs deforme . It is a Comely built well ordred place , But that which most of all the House doth grace , Are Roomes for Widdowes who are Olde and poore , And haue bin Wiues to Marriners before . They are for house-roome , foode or lodging , or For firing , Christianly prouided for , And as some dye , some doe their places win , As one goes out , another doth come in . Should I in all things giue the Towne it 's due , Some fooles would say I flatter'd , writ vntrue : Or that I partiall in my writings were , Because they made me welcome , and good cheere : But for all those that haue such thoughts of mee , I rather wish that them I hang'd may see , Then that they iustly could report , that I Did Rime for victuals , hunger to supply . Or that my Muse , or working braines should beate , To flatter , fawne , or lye , for drinke or meate : Let Trencher-Poets scrape , for such base vailes , I 'le take an Oare in hand when writing failes ; And 'twixt the Boate and Pen , I make no doubt , But I shall shift to picke a liuing out , Without base flatt'ry , or false Coyned words To mowldy Madames , or vnworthy Lords ; Or whatsoe're degree , or Townes , or Nations I euer did , and still will scorne such fashions . Hearesay , * sometimes vpon a lye may light , But what I see and know , I dare to write . Mine eyes did view before my Pen set downe , These things that I haue written of this Towne . A new built Custome-house , a faire Towne Hall , For solemne meetings , or a Festiuall : A Maior , twelue Aldermen , one Shriefe , Recorder , A Towne-Clarke , altogether in one order , And vniformity doe gouerne so , They neede not flatter friend , or feare a foe . A Sword , a Cap of maintainance , a Mace Great , and well Guilt , to doe the Towne more grace : Are borne before the Maior , and Aldermen , And on Festiuities , or high dayes then Those Maiestrates their Scarlet Gownes doe weare , And haue sixe Sergeants to attend each yeare . Now let men say what Towne in England is , That truly can compare it selfe with this : For scituation , strength , and gouernment , For charity , for plenty , for content , For state ? and one thing more I there was told , Not one Recusant , all the Towne doth hold , Nor ( as they say ) there 's not a Puritan , Or any nose-wise foole Precissian , But great and small , with one consent and will , Obay his Maiesties Iniunctions still . They say that once therein two sisters dwelt , Which inwardly the prick of Conscience felt , They came to London , ( hauing wherewithall ) To buy two Bybles , all Canonicall , Th' Apocripha did put them in some doubt , And therefore both their Bookes were bound without , Except those two I ne're did heare of any At Hull , though many places haue too many . But as one scabbed sheepe a flock may marre , So there 's one man , whose nose did stand a iarre : Talk'd very scuruily , and look'd ascue , Because I in a worthy Townes-mans Pue , Was plac'd at Church , when ( God knowes ) I ne're thought , To sit there , I was by the Owner brought . This Squire of low degree , displeased than , Said , I at most was but a Water-man . And that they such great kindnesse setting forth , Made more a' th flesh , then e're the broth was worth : Which I confesse , but yet I answere make , 'T was more then I with manners could forsake : He sure is some high minded Pharisie , Or else infected with their Heresie , And must be set downe in their Catalogues , They lou'd the highest seates in Sinagogues . And so ( perhaps ) doth he , for aught I know He may be mounted when I sit below : But let him not a Water-man despise , For from the water he himselfe did rise , And windes and water both on him hath smil'd Else , the great Marchant he had n'ere beene stil'd : His Character I finely will contriue , He 's scornfull proud , and tatling talkatiue : A great Ingrosser of strange speech and newes , And one that would sit in the highest Pues , But bate an Ace , he 'le , hardly winne the game , And if I list , I could rake * out his name . Thanks Mr. Maior , for my Bacon Gammon , Thankes Roger Parker for my small fresh Sammon , 'T was ex'lent good , and more the truth to tell ye , Boyl'd with a fine Plum-pudding in the belly . The sixth of August , well accompanide With best of Townes-men to the waters side , There did I take my leaue , and to my Ship I with my Drum and Colours quickly skip . The one did dub a dub and rumble , braue The Ensigne in the ayre did play and waue : I launch'd , supposing all things had beene done , Bownce , from the Block-house , quoth a roaring Gun , And wauing Hats on both sides , with content I cride Adiew , adiew , and thence we went. Vp Humbers flood that then amaine did swell , Windes calme , and water quiet as a Well : We Rowde to Owse , with all our force and might , To Cawood where we well were lodg'd all night . The morrow , when as Phoebus gan to smile , I forwards set to Yorke , eight little mile : But two miles short of Yorke I landed than , To see that reuerend * Metropolitan , That watchfull Shepheard , that with Care doth keepe , Th' infernall Wolfe , from Heau'ns supernall Sheepe : That painefull Preacher , that most free Almes-giuer , That though he liue long , is too short a liuer : That man whose age the poore doe all lament , All knowing , when his Pilgrimage is spent , When Earth to Earth returnes , as Natures debter , They feare the Prouerbe , Seldome comes the better . His Doctrine and example , speake his due , And what all people sayes , must needes be true . In duty I most humbly thanke his Grace , He at his Table made me haue a place , And meate and drinke , and gold he gaue me there , Whilst all my Crue it 'h Hall were fill'd with cheere : So hauing din'd , from thence we quickly past Through Owse strong Bridge , to Yorke faire Citie last , Our drowning scap'd , more danger was ensuing , 'T was Size time there , and hanging was a brewing : But had our faults beene ne're so Capitall , We at the Vintners barre durst answere all . Then to the good Lord Maior I went , and told What labour , and what dangers manifold , My fellow and my selfe had past at Seas , And if it might his noble Lordship please , The Boat that did from London thither swim With vs , in duty we would giue to him . His Lordship pawsing , with a reuerend hum , My friend ( quoth he ) to morrow morning come , In the meane space I 'le of the matter thinke , And so he bad me to goe neere and drinke . I dranke a Cup of Clarret , and some Beere , And sure ( for aught I know ) he a KEEPES good ch●ere . I gaue his Lordship in red guilded leather , A well bound Booke , of all my Workes together , Which he did take b . There in the Citie were some men of note , That gladly would giue money for our Boat : But all this while good manners bad vs stay , To haue my good Lord Maiors yea , or nay . But after long demurring of the matter c , He well was pleas'd to see her on the water , And then my men Rowde halfe an houre or more , Whilst he stood viewing her vpon the shore . They bore his Lordships Children in her there , And many others , as she well could beare . At which his Honour was exceeding merry , Saying it was a pretty nimble Wherry : But when my men had taken all this paines , Into their eyes they might haue put their gaines . Vnto his Shop he did d perambulate , And there amongst his Barres of Iron sate . I ask'd him if he would our Boat forgoe , Or haue her , and his Lordship answer'd , No. I tooke him at his word , and said God buye , And gladly with my Boate away went I. I sold the Boat , as I suppos'd most meete , To honest Mr. * Kayes , in Cunny streete : He entertain'd me well , for which I thanke him , And gratefully , amongst my friends I 'le ranke him . My kinde remembrance here I put in paper , To worthy Mr. Hemsworth there , a Draper , Amongst the rest he 's one that I must thanke , With his good wife , and honest brother Franke. Now for the Citie , 'T is of state and Port , Where Emperors & Kings haue kept their Court , 989. yeare , the foundation Was layde , before our Sauiours incarnation , By * Ebrank who a Temple there did reare , ( And plac'd a * Flammin to Diana there , But when King Lucius here the Scepter swayde The Idols leuell with the ground were layde , Then Eleutherius , Romes high Bishop plac'd , An Archbishop at Yorke , with Tytles grac'd . Then after Christ , 627. Was Edwin * baptiz'd by the grace of heauen , He pluck'd the Minster downe , that then was wood , And made it stone , a deede both great and good . The Citie oft hath knowne the chaunce of warres , Of cruell forraigne , and of home-bred iarres . And those that further please thereof to read , May turne the volumes of great Hollinshead . 'T is large , 't is pleasant and magnificent , The Norths most fertile famous ornament : 'T is rich and populous , and hath indeede No want of any thing to serue their neede . Abundance doth that noble Citie make Much abler to bestow , then neede to take . So farewell Yorke , the tenth of August then Away came I for London with my men . To dinner I to Pomfret quickly rode , Where good hote Venson stay'd for my abode , I thanke the worshipfull George Shillito , He fill'd my men and me , and let vs goe . There did I well view ouer twice or thrice , A strong , a faire , and auncient Edifice : * Reedifide , where it was ruin'd most At th' high and hopefull Prince * of Wales his cost . I saw the roome where Exton * and his rowt Of Traytours , Royall Richards braines beat out : * And if that King did striue so many blowes , As hacks and hewes vpon one pillar showes , There are one hundred slashes , he withstood , Before the villaines shed his Kingly blood . From Pomfret then , vnto my noble friend , Sir Robert Swift at Doncaster we wend , An ancient Knight , of a most generous spirit , Who made me welcome farre beyond my merit . From thence by Newarke , I to Stamford past , And so in time to London at the last . W●●●ere friends and neighbours , all with louing harts , Did welcome me with pottles , pintes , and quarts . Which made my Muse more glib , and blyth to tell This story of my voyage . So farewell . An Epilogue . Thus haue I brought to end a worke of paine , I wish it may requite me with some gaine : For well I wote the dangers where I ven●ered , No full bag'd man would euer durst haue entered : But hauing further shores for to discouer Hereafter , now my Pen doth here giue ouer . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13519-e290 a The yeare of our Lord b Iuly was nam'd so by Caesar. c The Dog-dayes were 6. dayes entred . d I obserue signes , windes , Tides , dayes , houres , times , Scituations & manners . e Noone if you 'le take it so . f Boats are like Barbars Chairs Hackneyes or Whores : common to all estates . * These star Sands are called the Spi●s . * It hath not a fellow in England for fishing . A Booke called the praise of the red Herring . * And a ship Carpenter . * We were in a puzzell . * We were like Flounders aliue in a frying Pan , that leap'd into the fire to saue themselues . * These were the names of the cumbersome Cromorian Constables . * People did come thither 3. or 4. miles about , to know what the matter was . * I had as good to haue said nothing . * Diligent Officers . * The dancing on the Ropes , or a Puppet play , had come short of his takings , accounting time for time . * This was more then I could willingly afford . * And the sword was rusty with Salt-water , that it had neede of a quarters warning ere it wold come out . * O braue sent . * He would haue had vs to haue stayed 3. or foure dayes with him . * They long'd for imployment , and rather then be idle , would be ill occupied . a The God of Riuers , Springs , Brookes , Foords , & Fountains . b We Rowed aboue 100. miles that day . c Sands lying crookedly in our way , making vs goe 3. or foure miles about at lowe water . * It is so call'd in Mr D●aytons secōd part of Polyalbion , in his treatise of Humber . * It is a passage cut through the land 8. miles from Lincoln into Trent , but through either the peoples pouerty or negligence it is grown vp with weeds , and mud , so that in the Summer it is in many places almost dry . * I went 15. mile out of Trent , down Humber , on purpose to see Hull , when my way was quite contrary . * Hull Cheese , is much like a loafe out of a Brewers Basket , it is Composed of two simples , Mault and Water in one Cōpound , and is Cosen germain to the mightiest Ale in England . * The meaning of those marks are onely knowne to the Townsmen there . * An ingenious man named Machabeus . * Mr. I.I. * The Riuer of Hull is 20. miles in length , cut with mens labor to the infinite Commodity of the Countrey . * He built another faire Waterwork , at Yorke , of Freestone , which doth the Citty exceeding seruice . * A Prouerb * Mark , for all is true . * I write not by heare-say . * But I was euer better with forks to scatter , then with Rakes to gather , therefore I would not haue the Townes-men to mistake chalke for Cheese , or Robert for Richard. * At Bishopsthorpe , wher the Right reuerend Father in God , Toby Mathew Archbishop of Yorke his Grace , did make mee welcome . a There is some oddes betweene keeping & spending . b Heere I make a full point , for I receiued not a point in exchange . c I thought it my duty ( being wee had come a dangerous voyage ) to offer our Boat to the chief Maiestrate . For why should not my Boat be as good a monument as Tom Coriats euerlasting ouer-trampling land-conquering Shooes , thought I ? d And forgat to say , I thank you good fellowes . * A substātiall worthy Citizen , who hath beene Shriefe of Yorke , and now keeps the George in Cunny streete . * Ebrank was the 5. K. of Britaine , after Brute . * An Arch-Flammin which was as an Idolatrous high Priest to Diana . * Edwin and his whole family were baptized there on Easter day the 12. of Aprill 627. Yourkshire the greatest Shire in England , and 308. miles about . Speed. * Pomfre● Castle . * Prince Charles . * Sir Peirce of Exton Knight . * King Richard the second murdered there . 
A13512	----	Taylors Vrania, or His heauenly muse With a briefe narration of the thirteene sieges, and sixe sackings of the famous cittie of Ierusalem. Their miseries of warre, plague, and famine, (during their last siege by Vespasian and his son Titus.) In heroicall verse compendiously described. Urania Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1616 Approx. 97 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 44 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13512 STC 23806 ESTC S118287 99853494 99853494 18878 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13512) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18878) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 977:15) Taylors Vrania, or His heauenly muse With a briefe narration of the thirteene sieges, and sixe sackings of the famous cittie of Ierusalem. Their miseries of warre, plague, and famine, (during their last siege by Vespasian and his son Titus.) In heroicall verse compendiously described. Urania Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [88] p. Printed by Edward Griffin for Nathaniel Butter, and are to be sold at his shop at S. Austins gate, at the signe of the Pyde Bull, London : 1615 [i.e. 1616] In verse. Signatures: A-E F⁴. "The seuerall sieges, assaults, sackings, and finall destruction, of the famous, ancient, and memorable citie of Ierusalem" has separate title page dated 1616; register is continuous. Reproduction of the original in the Folger Shakespeare Library. F4 in facsimile. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2002-01 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-02 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-03 TCP Staff (Oxford) Sampled and proofread 2002-03 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-04 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion TAYLORS VRANIA , OR His Heauenly Muse. WITH A briefe Narration of the thirteene Sieges , and sixe Sackings of the famous Cittie of IERVSALEM . Their miseries of Warre , Plague , and Famine , ( during their last siege by VESPASIAN and his Son TITVS . ) In Heroicall Verse compendiously described . LONDON Printed by Edward Griffin for Nathaniel Butter , and are to be sold at his shop at S. Austins gate , at the signe of the Pyde Bull. 1615. TO THE RIGHT worshipful , and worthy fauourer of all good endeuours , Sr GEORGE MORE Knight , Lieutenant of his Maties Tower of London , and one of his Highnes Iustices of the Peace and Quorum , in the Countie of Middlesex . MOst humbly ( worthy ) and religious Knight , These things which did from my inuention flow : On you in loue and dutie , I bestow , Whose patronage can shield me safe from spight . And though the stile , and phrase , vnpollisht be Of new-coynd words , to please these Critick times , ( For I , no Scholler , what can come from me But downe-right plaine , and ordinarie Rimes . ) Yet when your leisure serues you to peruse These poore endeuours , which my wit hath done : You shall perceiue my weake laborious Muse Hath in this Worke , hir-selfe , hir-selfe outrun , The Matters true , and truth I know you loue , And Loue conduct you to the ioyes aboue . Your Worships , in all dutious obseruance , IOHN TAYLOR . To the Reader . THis Booke , if I with boasting should commend , In seeking to defend , I should offend : Or should I brag , and say it is well writ T were selfe-conceit , presumption , and no wit. Againe , should I my selfe , my selfe depraue It were a signe I small discretion haue Then as my thoughts , all bragging pride do hate , So I abhorre to be so much Ingrate As to deny Gods gifts , and say that he By Nature , nothing hath bestowde on me . If ought be Good , I thanke the power Diuine , All that is bad I must acknowledge mine ; My God hee 's Author of my doing well , Without whose Grace , no Good in me doth dwell . But be it good , or bad , or well , or ill , Kinde Reader , gently iudge , my Artles skill . The Author to the Printer . GOod honest Printer , to thy buisnes looke , Be careful how thou dost Compose this Book : If thou thy letters , or my words misplace The fault is thine , but mine is the disgrace . Then for my Credit , and thine owne Respect Compose , and proue , and euery fault correct . In laudem Authoris . To the Helliconian Water-Poet , my honest friend , Iohn Taylor . IN euery Art , saue Poetry , the meane Is praisd : but therein meanely-well to do Is base , too base : then Iudgment cannot leane On what 's too base , but base it must be too . Then each man that his Reputation huggs For Iudgment , praise no lines of but meane Reach : And laude but what drawes dry Mineruaes duggs , Lest they their Iudgments might thereby impeach . Then is my Iudgment Iack perplext in thee ; For thou dost write so well with meanes so ill That thine Admirer I confesse to be , Much rather then the Iudger of thy skill : Art makes not Poetry , thou dost plainly proue , But supernaturall bountie from aboue . Iohn Dauis . In Vraniam Iohannis Taylor Encomium . IT is disputed much among the Wise , If that there be a water in the skies : If there be one : no Waterman before Was euer knowne to Row in 't with his Oare . If none ; such ic thy high surmounting pen It soares aboue the straine of Watermen : Whether there be or no , seeke farre and neere Th' art matchles sure in this our hemispheare . William Branthwaite Cant. In Vraniam Iohannis Taylor . IN sport I hitherto haue told thy fame , But now thy Muse doth merit greater Name : Soares high to Heau'n , from earth and water flies , And leauing baser matters , mounts the skies . Where hidden knowledge , she doth sweetly sing Carelesse of each inferiour common thing . Oh that my Soule could follow her in this , To shun fowle sin , and seeke eternall blisse , Hir strength growes great , and may God euer send Me to amend my faults , as she doth mend . Robert Branthwaite . To the honest Sculler Iohn Taylor . THe water Nimphs that do the Thames frequent ( The dearest daughters of the Driads old ) Concluded once , with one combyn'd consent A day of Sacrifice abroad to hold . With which they did old Innachus so please ( The God of Riuers , Fountaines , Wells , & Springs : ) That he to giue his sacred Nimphes some ease Inuites the Muses to their offerings . For which , agreed it was by all the Nine , That since so well the watry Dames did sing : Some one of theirs , with power most deuine They would inspire , as Guerdon of the thing . Then chus'd they thee , and on thy nimble braine Pow'rd out a draught of Heliconian wine : Which when Apollo saw , he did refraine To guide the light , and with a sharpe Ingine He crown'd his daughters gifts , and with a Bay , That then was twinde about his golden haire Which he from his belou'd had pluck'd that day He wreath'd thy browes , and bad thee that to weare . Since when thy Muse aspir'd to things deuine , Still grac'd by Phoebus , and the Sisters nine . Henry Sherlye . To my honest friend Iohn Taylor . WHat shall I say , kind Friend , to let thee know How worthily I do this worke esteeme : Whereof I thinke I cannot too much deeme From which I finde a world of wit doth flow . The poore vnpollisht praise I can bestow Vpon this well deseruing worke of thine , Which here I freely offer at thy Shrine Is like a Taper , when the Sunne doth show , Or bellowes helpe for Eol's breath to blow , For thou as much hast soard beyond the straine , Whereto our common Muses do attaine As Cinthyaes light exceeds the wormes that glow . And were my Muse repleat with learned phraise , The world should know thy work deserueth praise . Thine in the best of friendship , Richard Leigh . To the Author Iohn Taylor . WAst euer knowne to any time before , That so much skill in Poesie could be Th' attendant to a Skull , or painefull oare , Thou liu'st in water , but the fire in thee ; That mounting Element , that made thee chuse To Court Vrania , the diuinest Muse. Row on : to water-men did neuer blow A gale so good , none so much goodnesse know . Thomas Brewer . To my freind Iohn Taylor . ROw on ( good Water-man ) and looke backe still ( Thus as thou do'st ) vpon the Muses Hill , To guide thee in thy course : Thy Boate's a Sphaere Where thine Vrania moues diuinely-cleere . Well hast thou Plyd'e , and ( with thy learned Oare ) Cut through a Riuer , to a nobler shore Then euer any landed-at . Thy saile ( Made all of clowdes ) swells with a prosp'rous gale . Some say , there is a Ferryman of Hell , The Ferryman of Heau'n , I now know well , And that 's thy Selfe , transporting Soules to blisse , VRANIA sits at Helme and Pilot is ; For Thames , thou hast the lactea via found , Be thou with bayes ( as that with starres is ) crown'd . Thomas Dekker . To the Vnderstander . SEe heere the Pride and Knowledge of a Sayler , His spritsaile , foresaile , mainsaile , & his Mizzē ; A poore fraile man God wot , I know none frailer : I know for Sinners , Christ is dead , and rizen . I know no greater sinner then Iohn Taylor Of all his Death did Ransome out of Prizzen , And therefore heere 's my Pride , if it be Pride , To know Christ , and to know him Crucifide . Thine in all humilitie Iohn Taylor . TAYLORS VRANIA . ( 1 ) ETernall God which in thine armes do'st Graspe All past , all present , and all future things : And in ineuitable doome dost claspe The liues and deaths of all that dies and springs , And at the doomefull day will once vnhaspe Th' acusing booke of Subiects and of Kings . In whom though ending nor beginning be , Let me ( ô Lord ) beginne and end in thee . ( 2 ) All cogitations vaine from me remooue , And clense my earthly and polluted heart : Inspire me with thy blessings from aboue , That ( to thy honour ) I with Artlesse Art May sing thy Iustice , Mercy , and thy Loue ; Possesse me with thy Grace in euery part That no profane word issue from my pen But to the Glorie of thy name ; Amen . ( 3 ) I do beseech thee , Gracious louing father Reiect me not in thy sharpe iudging Ire : But in thy multitude of mercies Rather Recall me to thee , Recolect me Nigher , My wandring Soule into thy bosome Gather And with thy Grace my gracelesse heart Inspire , Dictate vnto my minde what it may thinke , Write with thy spirit what I may write with inke . ( 4 ) Thou all things wast eu'n then when nothing was , And then , thou all things did'st of nothing make : Of nothing All thou still hast brought to passe , And all againe , to nothing must betake . When sea shall burne , and land shall melt like brasse When hills shall tremble , and the mountaines quake , And when the world to Chaos turnes againe , Then thou Almighty All , shalt all remaine . ( 5 ) And since this vniuersall massie ball This earth , this aire , this water , and this fire , Must to a ruine and a period fall And all againe to nothing must retire : Be thou to me my onely All in All , Whose loue and mercy neuer shall expire . In thee I place my treasure and my trust Where Fellon cannot steale , or canker rust . ( 6 ) All things ( but only God ) at first began , The vncreated God , did all Create : In him Alone is equall will and can Who hath no ending , or commencing date . To whose Eternitie all time 's a span Who was , is , shal be , euer in one state . All else to nothing howerly doth decline And onely standes vpon support diuine . ( 7 ) Our high Creator our first Parents form'd , And did inspire them with his heau'nly spirit : Our Soules seducer ( Sathan ) them deform'd And from Gods fauour did them disinherit : Our blest Redeemer them againe reform'd And ransom'd them by his vnbounded merit . Thus were they form'd , deform'd , reform'd againe By God , by Sathan , and our Sauiours paine . ( 8 ) Mans Generation did from God proceed A mortall Body , and a Soule Eternall : Degeneration was the Deuils deed , With false delusions and with lies infernall : Regeneration was our Sauiours meede Whose death did satisfie the wrath supernall . Thus was man found , and lost , and lost was found By Grace ; with Glory euer to be crownd . ( 9 ) Man was produc'de , seduced , and reduc'de By God , by Sathan , and by God agen : From good to ill , from ill he was excusd'e By merit of th' immortall man of men . The vnpolluted bloud from him was sluc'de To saue vs from damnations dreadfull den . Thus man was made , and marde , and better made , By him who did sinne , death , and hell inuade . ( 10 ) Let man consider then but what he is , And contemplate on what he erst hath bin : How first he was created heyre of blisse , And how he fell to be the Childe of sinne ; How ( of himselfe ) he howerly doth amisse , And how his best workes do no merit winne , Except acceptance make them be esteem'd Through his obedience that our Soules redeem'd . ( 11 ) Before thou wast , remember thou wast nought , And out of nought ( or nothing ) thou wast fram'de : And how thy Body being made and wrought By God , was with a liuing Soule inflam'de : And how th' eternall Nomenclator taught Thee name all Creatures that were euer nam'de . And made thee Stuard of the worlds whole treasure And plac'de thee in a paradice of pleasure . ( 12 ) Then wast thou Viceroy to the King of heau'n , And great Lieuetenant to the Lord of hosts : The rule of all things vnto thee was giu'n , At thy command all creatures seru'd like posts To come or go , and at thy becke were driu'n Both neere and farre , vnto the farthest coasts . God all things made , as seruants vnto thee Because thou only shouldst his seruant be . ( 13 ) He gaue life vnto herbes , to plants , and trees , For if they wanted life , how could they grow ? A beast hath life and sence , moues , feeles , and sees , And in some sort doth good and euill know : But man 's before all Creatures in degrees God life , and sence , and reason did bestow . And least those blessings should be transitory He gaue him life , sence , reason , grace , and glory . ( 14 ) Then let our meditations scope be most How at the first we were created good : And how we ( wilfull ) Grace and goodnes lost And of the sonnes of God were Sathans broode . Then thinke the price , that our redemption cost Th' eternall sonne of Gods most precious bloud . Remember this whilst life and sence remaine , Else life , and sence , and reason are in vaine . ( 15 ) Thou to requite thy God that all thee gaue Ingratefully against him didst rebell : Whereby from Regall state , thou turnedst slaue , And heau'nly Iustice , doomb'd thee downe to hell . As thy rebellion from thy God thee draue , So 'gainst thee all things to rebellion fell . For when to heau'n thy due obedience ceast , Thy disobedience taught each brutish beast . ( 16 ) Now see thy miserable wretched state , Thou and the earth is eake with thee accurst : All worldly things , which thee obaide of late , In stiffe commotion now against thee burst : And thou for euer droue from Eden gate To liue an exilde wretch , and which is worst Thy soule , ( Gods darling ) fell from her preferment , To be the Deuils thrall , in endlesse torment . ( 17 ) But Mercies sea , hath quenched Iustice fire , And Heau'ns high heyre ( in pittie of mans case ) In person came , and satisfide Gods ire , And Gracelesse man new Repossest in Grace . The sonne of God came downe , to raise vs higher To make vs Glorious , he himselfe made base . To draw vs vp , downe vnto earth he came , And honor'd vs , by putting on our shame . ( 18 ) Who can conceiue the Glory he was in Aboue the heau'n of heau'ns , in throan'd in blisse ? Who can conceiue the losse that he did winne To rectifie , and answere our amisse ? Who can conceiue the Mountaines of our sinne That must be hid with such a sea as this ? No heart , no tongue , no pen of mortall wight These things can once conceiue , or speake , or write . ( 19 ) Man may collect th' abundance of his vice And the deare loue his God to him did beare , In thinking on th' inestimable price Was paide his sinne polluted soule to cleare . To gaine him an immortall paradice And to Redeeme his foes to pay so deare . For if our sinnes had not been more then much The ransome of them sure had not been such . ( 20 ) The bloud of any mightie mortall King Was insufficient this great debt to pay : Arch-angels power , or Angels could not bring A Ransome worth forbearance but a day ; The only sonne of God must do this thing Else it must be vndone , and we for aie . God was the Creditor , and man the debter Christ ( God & man ) did pay , none could pay better ( 21 ) Then since thy sinfull Soule from Grace was lost , And since by Grace it hath found Grace againe : Since being lost so Great a price it lost T' enfranchise it from euerlasting paine And since thy crimes are quit , thy debts are crost Thy peace with God , the way to heau'n made plain Let not all this in vaine for thee be done But thankfull be to God , through Christ his sonne . ( 22 ) Forget not thou art ashes , earth , and dust , And that from whence thou cam'st , thou shalt again , And at the last trump that appeare thou must When Procseys and Essoynes are all in vaine : Where iust and vniust , shall haue iudgement iust , For euer doomb'd to endlesse ioy or paine . Where though that thou be damb'd it is Gods glory , Thy wife , thy Sonne , thy Sire , will not be sorry . ( 23 ) Methinks it should make man this world to loath When that which will a thousand cloath and feede : It should but onely one man feede and cloath In fares excesse , and gorgeousnesse of weede , Yet this braue canker , this consuming moath ( Who in his life ne're meanes to do good deede ) Must be adorn'd for those good parts he wants By fearefull Fooles , and flattering Sichophants . ( 24 ) Hath he the title of an earthly grace ? Or hath he Honor , Lordship , Worship ? or Hath he in Court some great commanding place ? Or hath he wealth to be regarded for ? If with these honors , vertue he embrace Then loue him ; else his puckfoist pompe abhorre . Sun-shine on dung-hills makes them stinke the more , And honor shewes all that was hid before . ( 25 ) Shall men giue Reu'rence to a painted trunke That 's nothing but all outside , and within Their senses are with blacke damnation drunke , Whose heart is Sathans Tap-house , or his Inne . Whose Reputation inwardly is sunke , Though outwardly raisd vp , and swolne with sin . I thinke it worse then to adore the Deuill , To worship his base Instruments of euill . ( 26 ) No , looke vpon the Man , and not his Case , See how he doth his Maker imitate : If Grace supernall , giue internall Grace That makes his minde on vertue contemplate . That holds this world , and all things in 't as base , Knowes death makes happie , or vnfortunate . That doth no wrong , for Fanour , Gaine , or Feare , And layes on each , what each deseru's to beare . ( 27 ) Such men ( no doubt ) but few such liuing are , For they are thickly sow'd , and thinly grow'd , The purest wheat is mixed with the Tare , The humble minds , are seruile to the Prowd . Vice Reuells , and poore Vertues poore and bare , Hypocrisie into the Church will crowd . So man must more then humane wit possesse T' escape the baites and snares of wickednesse . ( 28 ) The Atheist of the Scriptures can dispute , That one would deeme him a Religious man : The Temporizer to the Time will sute , Although his Zeale be Machiuillian . Then there 's a Faith that seldom yeelds good fruit , And though impure , is calld a Puritan . A thousand Sects in thousand Proteus shapes Are Times true turne-coats , and Religious Apes . ( 29 ) The greatest plague , that euer came from Hell Is to be puft and stuft with selfe-conceit : When men too Ill , esteeme themselues too well , When ouer-valued worth proues light in weight , When Selfe-loue and Ambition makes vs swell Aboue the limits of Discretions height . When the poore Iay , displaies his borrowed plumes , And man ( vnfeeling sin ) to sinne presumes . ( 30 ) But if thy featherd pride , Icarian-high Doth soare too farre aboue true Reasons bownd : Th' eternall Sunne thy waxen wings will frie , Thy fatall Fall , thy Folly shall confownd . Who ( like that Cretian ) mounts ambitiously , In Seas of sorrow shall ( like him ) be drownd . By pride the Caldean Monarchie decreast , A King ( the best of men ) was made a Beast . ( 31 ) The state of Man may be compared well Vnto a Kingdom gouern'd well or Ill : For if his Rule and Policie excell , His Reason ( like a Queene ) commands his will. But if seditious Passions do rebell , They Reasons Court with all disorder fill , And ouer-run hir carelesse Common-wealth , With murder , fraud , oppression , whoredome , stealth . ( 32 ) The Sences are this Kingdoms Court of Guarde To keep their Queene secure from terrene treason : Great is the trust and saftie of this warde Whilst they giue true Intelligence to Reason : But if this Guard their duties not regard And mis-informe their Queene at any season ; Then right for wrong , and wrong for right shee le conster , And in hir Apprehension proues a Monster . ( 33 ) The Hearing , Sight , the Taste , the Smell , and Touch , If Vices do present themselues for obiects : And they ( incredulous ) not deeme them such , Informing Reason that they are good Subiects ; If Reasons iudgment be not more then much She entertaines for Worthies these base Abiects : Who spoyle hir Court , and breake hir Kingdoms frame , And turne her State , & Glory into shame . ( 34 ) The Appetite , the Fancie , and the Will ( Spirituall Faculties ) are Reasons Peeres : Who ( of themselues ) do counsell all things ill Not knowing what is true , but what appeares : If she attend , what only they instill , She takes in meere delusions through hir eares : And they at last will thrust hir from hir Throne , And then ( vsurping Rebells ) sit thereon . ( 35 ) These Vassals hauing got the Regall sway , Inforce the Commons which are the Affections , Their hatefull hellish precepts to obay , With promise of their fauours and protections : Th' Affections all agree , and all do pay These Miscreants their tributes and subiections . And now is Reason banisht , and they threat She ne're shall gaine againe hir awfull seat . ( 36 ) Th'vsurping Heart , sometimes doth raigne as King , Sometimes the Braine is Counseller of State : The Eyes and Eares , Intelligence do bring , The Tongue , ( as Herald ) tydings doth relate . The Hands and Feet do execute each thing , Which these intruding Tyrants loue or hate . And euery Member plaies a painfull part To serue a swimming Braine , and swelling Heart . ( 37 ) The Fancie ( like an Ape ) skips to , and fro , Begins a thousand things , and endeth none : Makes , marrs , forbids , and bids , no , yea , yea , no , Doe , and vndoe , hold fast , and let alone : Run , stay ; vp , downe , stand , fall , go , come , come , go , Sad , glad , mad , wittie , foolish , mirth and mone . Thus Fancie doth in Apish toyes delight To serue the greedie maw of Appetite . ( 38 ) And Appetite ( as doth a big woomb'd Dame ) Lusts , longs , desires , and must haue this and that : Hearbs , roots , fruits , flowres , Fish , Fowle , Beasts wilde & She must & wil haue , wel she knowes not what : ( tame Whilst Fancie , and Imagination frame Themselues more nimbly then a mowzing Cat. Still searching what the Appetite desires , Superfluous meats , drinks , bables , and attires . ( 39 ) The Memorie Lord Keeper of the Treasure , And great Recorder of this world of dust : The Vnderstanding giues true Iustice measure To Good , to Bad , to Iust , and to Vniust ; Inuention and Remembrance , waite the leasure Of Memorie , and Understanding must Haue Wisdom for hir fellow , and hir guide , Else Prince , and Peeres , and Commons stray aside . ( 40 ) Truth , and false Lying , on the Tongue attends ; The one instructs hir plainly in the Truth , The others proper , and improper ends Doth teach to lye , and vouch it with an oath : The Tongue , loues one of these , yet both contends But she wants entertainment for them both . At last she takes in Lying for hir Page , And bids Truth walke , a beggers Pilgrimage . ( 41 ) When Wisdom , must giue Follie cap and knee , When hare-braind Will , o're Wit doth rule & raigne When Lying , shall make Truth regardles be , When Loue is paide with hatred and disdaine : When Sense and Appetite do all agree To serue a false rebellious heart and braine ; When they haue Reasons Court , thus vnderminde , It is a signe that Vnderstanding's blinde . ( 42 ) Then is the place where Vertue had abode Made a fowle Rendeuouz for filthy Vice : The Temple of the holy Spirit of God Esteemes his blessed presence of no price . Man spurns against his iust reuenging Rod Worse then the Iewes , that for his Coat cast Dice . Men falne into a reprobated Sence Dread not their Makers great Omnipotence . ( 43 ) Then what art thou , poluted earthly clod , Thou span , thou froth , thou bubble , and thou smoke : Worse then the dust , that vnder-foot is trod , Dar'st thou thy Makers furie to prouoke ? Why wilt thou ( wilfull ) thy perdition plod , And with damnation thy saluation choke ? Christ bought thy Soule , and lent it thee to vse it , T is none of thine ; and therefore not abuse it . ( 44 ) Dar'st thou profane with thy vngodly breath His Name , that did ( before the world ) elect thee ? Dar'st thou , dare him his Iustice sword t'vnsheath ? Dar'st thou prouoke his mercy to reiect thee ? Dar'st thou run headlong to perpetuall death , Whereas eternall torments shall correct thee ? And dar'st thou ( wretched worme ) of earthly race , Belch blasphemie against thy Makers Grace . ( 45 ) He thou offendest is the King of Kings , Heau'n , Earth and Hell do tremble at his frowne : Bright Angells and Archangells alwaies sings Before the seat of his immortall Crowne : His foes to fell confusion downe he slings , He giues his seruants Honor and Renowne . His power 's not circumscribed here , or there , But All in All , is All , and euery where . ( 46 ) Can nothing moue thy flinty heart to Ruthe , That of thy selfe thou some remorse wouldst take ; And not to spend thy beauty , strength , and youth To serue the Sou'raigne of the Stigian Lake : Say not , to morrow , thou wilt seeke the truth , And when sin leaues thee , thou wilt sin forsake . When thou no more ( through weaknes ) canst offēd , Then lame , old , rotten , thou wilt God attend . ( 47 ) When hoary haire , and blood all frozen chill , When eyes waxe dim , and limbs are weake & lame : And that no more thy rash rebellious will Cannot performe vile deeds of sinne and shame : When thou hast lost thy strength to do more ill , Then vnto Heau'n , thy minde thou ' ginst to frame . Thy youth in Sathans seruice being spent , In age thou thinkst on God , and dost repent . ( 48 ) Suppose a man that 's much ingag'd to thee Hath a good Horse , which thou dost much desire : Thou offrest for him thrice his worth , to be The Master of this Beast thou dost require : But this ingratefull wretch will not agree To giue , to sell him thee , or let thee hire , But lets him ( all his youth ) be rid by those Who are thy spightfull , and thy mortall foes . ( 49 ) And when hee 's leane , and old , and lame , and blinde , Gall'd , foundred , filthy , wanting no disease : Botts , Glaunders , Spauin , broken in his winde , Not a tooth left to mumpe on beanes and pease : Then this Companion , ( most vnkindly kinde ) Will let thee haue this Palfraie , if thou please , If now ( past good ) thou scornest to receiue him , Hee le flay his skin off , and the dogs shal haue him . ( 50 ) Betwixt thy God and thee , such is the case : When thou art young , strong , sound of winde and lim , Thy soule and bodie shuns his heau'nly Grace , Thou wilt not serue thy God , nor waite on him : But ( heedles ) headlong runn'st a hellish race Till age hath brought thee to the graues ha●d brim . Then ( being clog'd with sin , diseasd and foule ) Thou offrest God thy body and thy soule . ( 51 ) But dost thou thinke he is at thy Command , Or that his mercy must attend thy leasure ? Or dost thou thinke thou canst in Iudgment stand And scape the Iustice of his high displeasure ? Or dost thou thinke that his Almighty hand Is shortned ? or that his supernall pleasure Regards not how the Sonnes of Men do liue ? Or that without Repentance hee 'le forgiue ? ( 52 ) Sly Sathans Rage is almost at an end , And well he knowes his dominations stint ; He therefore now doth all his Engins bend To batter and confound our fleshly Fort ; He and his Ministers do all attend To draw vs to his damn'd infernall Court. For if he loose our soules at latest cast T will be too late when all his power is past . ( 53 ) And therefore now he plots his diuellish drifts To separate vs from our God so louing : In making vs vnthankfull for his gifts , And by our heynous sins his Anger mouing , Whilst wings of Faith our prayers vpwards lifts To praise our Maker ( as is best behouing . ) Then Sathan kills our Zeale , and vnawares We are intangled in vile worldly snares . ( 54 ) God made enough , all men to satisfie , Yet not enough to giue one Man content : For he that had the worlds whole soueraigntie Would couet for a further continent . Ambitious thirst of fading Dignitie ( As though they were for euer permanent ) Doth banish Loue , and euery heau'nly Motion , Blinds all our Zeale , and murders our Deuotion . ( 55 ) T is truly writ in many a thousand storie , And thousand thousand sheets of blotted paper Declares how terrene things are transitorie , Incertaine certaine , wasting like a Taper . How froathy painted Pompe , and gaudie Glory When least we thinke doth vanish like a vaper . Experience teacheth this , and truth bewraies it , And various humane accidents displaies it . ( 56 ) To day great Diues in a purple coate With Epicurian Apetite doth feed : His cups with wine do ouerflow and floate , His baggs with quoyne , his heart from feare is freed , And on the world , and wealth doth only dote ( As if his death , his life should not succeed . ) He loues himselfe , himselfe loues him agen , And liu's a hated wretch , of God and Men. ( 57 ) Nor stone , or dropsie , or the groaning Gowt Can make him with his Wealth to liue in hate , He ( maugre paine ) takes pleasure to finde out New Proiects to increase his too great state ; To marry muck to muck , he casts about , And neuer dreames of his expiring date , Vntill he heare the fatall bell to towle , And Hell stand gaping to deuoure his Soule . ( 58 ) I'haue heard of an extortionizing Curr , That hath bin numbd and senceles , as a logg ; Who neither limbe , or leg , or ioynt could sturr , But on his death-bed grunting like a Hog : And almost speechles with his ratling Murr , Yet care of Coyne his conscience did so clogg , That not a thought of Heau'n he could afford , But ten i' the hundred was his latest word . ( 59 ) Thus Gold that should be captiue vnto all Doth captiuate his Keeper , as a slaue : Who like an Idoll doth before it fall , And neuer meanes another God to haue . And when Heau'ns Pursiuant , grim-Death , doth call To warne him to his vn-a-voyded Graue , Vntill his Iawes be cram'd , and ram'd with mold Hee 'le speake or ( speechles ) make a signe for gold . ( 60 ) We ought no formed Creature to adore , Or frame will-worship in our idle braine : Nor of the Angells must we ought implore , For Man and Angells help is all but vaine ; Yet pur-blind Auarice still gapes for more , And makes his Mammonitish God his Gaine : He playes the Bawd , his money is the Whore , Whilst it breeds Bastards , he doth hold the dore . ( 61 ) He thinks his life Angelicall , because Amongst the Angells he doth spend his time : And Royall he will be , for in his pawes The Royalls are insnarde like birds in lime : And with his Nobles he ordeineth lawes , That base extortion shall not be a crime . He marks how Kingdoms , Prouinces , and Townes Are ouer-ruled by his cursed Crownes . ( 62 ) But if he note his Angells , what they be ; Not heau'nly , nor yet those from Heau'n that fell : But they are in a third , and worse degree Dumb damned senceles , ministers of Hell. They cannot smell , or feele , taste , heare , or see , And thousand times be'ng told , yet cannot tell . Th' ar lock'd , and barr'd , and bolted vp in thrall , Which shewes their Nature not Angelicall . ( 63 ) His Royalls doth not Royallize himselfe , Or make him better then he is or was , In spight of all his ill got canker'd Pelfe , Hee 's but a miserable golden Asse : The Deuills deere darling , a most hatefull Elfe , Which as Hells Factor on the Earth doth passe . Were euery haire about him made a Royall He were a Wretch , to God and Men disloyall . ( 64 ) His Nobles no way doth enoble him , Their Counsell cannot mend his Rascall minde : His hart 's obdurate , and his eyes are dim To thinke or see , t'ward good to be inclinde . Hee 'le venter soule and body , life and lim To scrape and scratch what he must leaue behinde . His Nobles thus , ignobly make him liue , And headlong to the Deuill , their Master driue . ( 65 ) Amongst his Marks he neuer marketh how He spends , or lends , or giues , his ill got store : He marks to make it multiply and growe , And for the vse of Fistie takes a score . He neuer dreads Heau'ns dreadfull angry browe , But daily grinds the faces of the poore . Let vengeance thunder , and let Hells dog barke , Amongst his Marks , of Grace he hath no marke . ( 66 ) And though a world of Crownes are in his hand , For euery Crowne might he a Kingdom haue , His state no better ( in my minde ) should stand Then a rich Begger , or a kingly Slaue . He should his Crownes , and they not him command They ( Vassall-like ) should do what he should craue . Lo thus the Crownes their Soueraigne ouerswayes , They Rule and Raigne , he like a Slaue obayes . ( 67 ) Thus Angells to a Catiffe , are a curse , His Royalls makes his basenes far more base : His Nobles , his ignoble minde make worse ; His Marks , are marks and figures of disgrace : His Crownes vsurpeth in his Niggard purse , And in his heart Contentment hath no place . For Angells , Royalls , Nobles , Marks and Crownes Can put no vertue , in the minds of Clownes . ( 68 ) The onely slaue of slaues , is Moneyes slaue , He pines in plenty , staru's amidst his store : Dies liuing , and doth liue as in a Graue , In wealthy - want , and in abundance poore : The Goods he hath , he badly doth depraue , And only cares how he may purchase more . For he himselfe cannot afford himselfe A good meales meat , for wasting of his pelfe . ( 69 ) His feare 's his wealth , his torment his delight , His Conscience foule , affrightfull is his sleep : His hopes dispaire , his mirth in sadnes dight , His ioyes are Cares , what he hath got to keep : His Rest , is restles vnrest day and night , And in a sea of Melancholie deep . Amidst his large possessiions liu's in lack , And dies in debt to 's belly and his back . ( 70 ) Me thinks I heare a Miser-Churle obiect , None railes at Wealth , but those which liue in want : The idle Grashopper cannot affect The toylesom labors of the frugall Ant : The Prodigall by no meanes will be checkt So much as when his Purses linings scant . The Fox doth scorne the Grapes , but wot you why ? Because out of his reach , they hang too high . ( 71 ) So doth a sort of poore and needie Hyndes , The scum and dregs , of euery Common-wealth : The shakerag-shaghaird crew , whose boundles minds Must be supplide with shifting , or by stealth . Like sick men , when their paines their Reason blinds They enuy all men that are well in health . So doth a swarme of drones , and idle mates Reuile and enuie at our happy states . ( 72 ) But let them storme , and raile , and curse , and sweare , Within our coffers , we will keep the Gold : Let them themselues , themselues in peeces teare , What we haue got with toyle , with care wee 'le hold . What is 't doth men to Reputation reare But when their goods and wealth growes manifold . We care not then let needy Rascalls raile Till Tyburne eat them , or some loathsom Iayle . ( 73 ) Thus doth a Wretch his thirst of Gaine excuse , And makes his bad trade good with show of thrift : Himselfe , ( continuall ) with himselfe doth muse Vpon some purchase , or some gaining drift ; And as a Hog , his downeward lookes do vse To poare , and not aloft his eyes to lift . He takes Heau'ns fruit , and hoordeth vp the same , And ne're remembers God , from whence it came . ( 74 ) But fill thy baggs , till they are ouer-filld , And empt thy conscience more , ( if more thou can ) Raise higher rents , and let thy Land be till'd , And tell thy selfe thou art a happy man. Pull downe thy Barnes , and boasting bigger build , As if thy blessed state were new began . Then comes a voyce , with horror and affright , Thou foole I le fetch away thy soule this night . ( 75 ) And tell me then , who shall these Goods possesse That thou hast damn'd thy Selfe to purchase them ? Who shall be heire to all thy vaine excesse , For which thy Soule , that deere ( too deere ) bought lem , In hazard is , of endles wretchednes Be'ing banisht from the new Ierusalem . The Goods are Ill , that doth the world controule , Whose cursed Gaine , doth lose the Owners soule . ( 76 ) What 's in the world should make men wish to liue , If men could well consider what it is : What in the world that happines can giue Which is not drownd in sorrowes blacke Abiss ? What Goods in the world can a man achieue , But woe and miserie , o'rewhelms his blisse ? No pleasures , or contentments stedfast are , For all we can call Ours , is only Care. ( 77 ) I'haue seen a Gallant , mounted all in gold Like Alexander , on Bucephalus : The ground ( in his conceit ) too base to hold Him whom the smiles of fortune fauours thus . But in his height of heat , how soone hee 's cold , By death , snatch'd from his pompe , himselfe , and vs. His Name , and Noble-Mushrom-fame forgot , And all things ( but his shame ) must lye and rot . ( 78 ) The beauteous Lady , that appeares a Saint , Of Angells forme , and Heau'n admired hue : That can ( by Art ) defectiue Nature paint , And make false colours to the eye seeme true : Yet Death at last , hir brau'ry doth attaint , And ( spight hir Art ) she must pay Natures due . The rarest features , and the fairest formes Must dye and rot , and be consum'd with wormes . ( 79 ) Wealth , Beauty , as they are abusde or vsde They make the owners either curst or blest : As Good or Ill , is in the minde infusde They adde a ioyfull rest , or woes vnrest : To vse them well th' are blest , but if abusde Thy God doth thee and them loath and detest : And turns his blessings , which shold most cōtēt thee , To dreadfull cursings which shal still torment thee . ( 80 ) Seek then Heau'ns kingdom , & things that are right , And all things else shall be vpon thee cast : Thy daies of Ioy shall neuer turne to night , Thy blessed state shall euerlasting last . Liue still , as euer in thy Makers sight , And let Repentance purge thy vices past . Remember thou must drink of deaths sharp cup , And of thy Stuardship account giue vp . ( 81 ) Had'st thou the beautie of faire Absolon , Or did thy strength the strength of Sampson passe : Or could thy wisdom match wise Salomon , Or might thy riches Cressus wealth surpasse ; Or were thy pompe beyond great Babylon ( The proudest Monarchie that euer was , ) Yet Beauty , Wisdom , Riches , Strength , and State , Age , Death , and Time , will spoile and ruinate . ( 82 ) Make of the World , no more then as it is , A vale of Cares , of miseries , and woes : Thinke of it , as the sinke of all amisse That blinds our Sences with deceiuing showes : Account it as a den of balefull blisse The which ( vnthought of ) all estates o'rethrowes . How Sathan in it beares a Lordly sway , And how none but his subiects it obay . ( 83 ) And whilst thou runn'st this transitorie race , Vse well the blessings God to thee hath sent : Do Good with them whilst thou hast time and space , And know they are but things vnto thee lent . Know that thou must appeare before Gods face To answer if they well , or ill be spent . If thou hast spent them well , then heau'n is thine , If ill , th' art damn'd to hell , by doome diuine . ( 84 ) But ten times happy shall that Steward be , Which at the last the Lord shall faithfull finde : Heart , tongue or eyes , cannot thinke , speake , or see The glory that to him shall be assinde . He shall out-passe the Angells in degree , He shall out-shine all Starrs that euer shinde . He shall for euer , and for euer sing Eternall praises to his God and King. ( 85 ) Vnto which God the Father , first and last , Whose goodnes , all conseru's , preseru's , and feeds : To God the Sonne , whose merits downe h●ath cast Sinne , death , and hell , ( due vnto Sinners meeds . ) To thee ô Holy Ghost , that euer vvast The blessing that from Sire , and Sonne proceeds ; And to the vn-deuided Three in One All Power , and Praise , and Glory be alone . FINIS . THE SEVERALL Sieges , Assaults , Sackings , and finall Destruction , of the famous , ancient , and memorable Citie of IERVSALEM . Deuided into two parts . By IOHN TAYLOR . LONDON Printed by Edward Griffin for Nathaniel Butter , and are to be sold at his shop at S. Austins gate , at the signe of the Pyde Bull. 1616. TO THE TRVLY worthy , and right Worshipful IOHN MORAY Esquire , one of the Gentlemen of his Maiesties Royall Bed-chamber ; Earths Honors and Heauens happines . THis Booke , ( Good Sir ) the issue of my braine Though far vnworthy of your worthy view , Yet I in dutie offer it to you In hope you Gently it will entertaine . And though the Method and the Phrase be plaine , Not Artlike writ , as to the stile is due , Yet is it voide of any thing vntrue , And truth I know your fauour shall obtaine . The many fauours I from you haue had Hath forc'd me thus to shew my thankfull minde : And of all faults , I know no vice so bad And hatefull , as ingratefully inclinde . A thankfull Heart , is all a poore mans pelfe , Which , ( with this Booke ) I giue your Worthy Selfe . Your Worships , euer most obliged IOHN TAYLOR . The seuerall Sieges , Assaults , Sackings , and finall destruction of the famous , ancient , and memorable Citie of IERVSALEM . THe Iustice , Mercy , and the Might I sing Of Heau'ns iust , mercifull , almighty KING . By whose fore knowledge all things were elected , Whose power hath all things made , & all protected , Whose Mercies flood hath quencht his Iustice flame , Who was , is , shall be , one , and still the same . Who in the Prime , when all things first began , Made all for Man , and for himselfe made Man. Made , not begotten , or of humane birth , No Sire but God , no Mother but the Earth ; Who ne're knew Childhood , or the sucking teate , But at the first was made a man compleat . Whose inward Soule , in God-like forme did shine As Image of the Maiestie diuine . Whose supernaturall wisdom , ( beyond Nature ) Did name each sensible , and senceles creature , And from whose Star-like , Sand-like Generation Sprung euery Kinred , Kingdom , Tribe , and Nation . All people then , one Language spake alone , Interpreters the world then needed none : There liued then no learned deep Grammarians , There were no Turks , no Scithians , no Tartarians , Then all was one , and one was only all The language of the vniuersall Ball. Then if a Traueller had gone as farre As from the Artick to th' Antartick starre , If he from Borcas vnto Auster went , Or from the Orient to th' Occident , Which way soeuer he did turne or winde He had bin sure his Countrey-man to finde . One hundred , thirty winters since the Flood The Earth one only Language vnderstood : Vntill the sonne of Cush , the sonne of Cham A proud cloud-scaling Tower began to frame , Trusting that if the world againe were drown'd He in his loftie building might rest sound ; All future Floods , he purposd to preuent Aspiring to Heau'ns glorious Battlement . But high Iehouah , with a puff was able To make ambitious Babell but a bable . ( For what is man , that he should dare resist The great Almighties power , who in his fist Doth gripe Eternitie , and when he please Can make , and vnmake , Heau'n , and Earth , & Seas : ) For in their expectation of conclusion He plag'd them all with sundry Tongues confusion . Such Gibrish Gible Gable all did iangle , Some laugh , some fret , all prate , all diffring wrangle ; One calls in Hebrew to his working Mate , And he in Welch Glough whee Comrage doth prate . Another gapes in English , or in Scotch , And they are answer'd in the French or Dutch. Caldaicke , Siriacke , and Arabian , Greeke , Latin , Tuscan , and Armenian , The Transiluanian , and Hungarian , The Persian , and the rude Barbarian ; All these , and diuers more then I can number Misvnderstanding tongues did there incumber . Thus he that sits in Heau'n their plots derided , And in their height of pride , their tongues deuided . For in this sudden vnexpected change The wife and husband , Sire and sonne were strange , The Brother could not vnderstand the Brother , The Daughter stands amazed at hir Mother , By euery one a seuerall part is acted , And each vnto the other seems distracted . Thus by the Iustice of the Lord of Hosts Each seuerall tongue was driu'n to seuerall coasts , And GOD ( peculiar ) to himselfe did chuse His most beloued , yet hard-hearted Iewes . Iehouahs honor with them then did dwell , His Name was only knowne in Israel , Salem his habitation was of yore , In Sion men his glory did adore , Th' Eternall trine , and trine Eternall one In Iurie then was called on alone , The sonnes of Heber , were th' adopted stocke , Gods onely Chosen , holy sacred flocke , Amongst all Nations , them he only lik'd , And for his owne vse , them he culd and pik'd ; Them his sin-killing , sauing word he gaue T' instruct thē , what condemn'd , & what wold saue , To them he gaue his word , his Couenants band , His Patriarks , his Prophets , and his hand Did blesse , defend , instruct , correct , and guide The Iewes , and no one Nation else beside . For them , a world of wonders hath he done , To them , he sent his blest begotten Sonne , On them , a Land he freely did bestow Where milke and honie plenteously did flow , With them , he was till they from him did turne And wilfully against his blessings spurne , All heau'nly , earthly , Soules or Bodies good They lack'd no temp'rall , or eternall food . His Temple builded in Ierusalem Where he had daily sacrifice from them , Where though their seruice , was defect and lame , Th' Almighties mercy did accept the same . ( For though Mans sin is great , God hath decreed To take his best endeuour for a deed . ) And whilst they in his loue and feare abode They were his people , he their gracious God. But when impieties began to breed And ouergrow old Iacobs sacred seed , When they from good to bad began to fall , From ill to worse , from worst to worst of all , When GODS great mercies could not them allure , And his sharp threatnings could not them procure , When each ones body was vnto the soule A loathsom dungeon , to a prisoner foule . When sin ( all shameles ) the whole land o're spreads Then God threw dreadfull vengance on their heads : And for their heynous heaping sin on sin Ierusalem hath oft assaulted bin . First Shishack , Egypts King , with might and maine Made hauock there in Rehoboams Raigne ; The Citie , Temple , Golden vessells , Shields , All ( as a prey ) to the Egiptians yeelds . Next Ioas came , the King of Israel , In Amaziahs daies with furie fell ; He brought Iudea to Samariaes thrall , King , Kingdom , Princes , Peeres , and people all . Then thirdly , Rezin King of Aram came In Ahaz time , with sword and furious flame . Th' Assirian great Zenach'rib was the next By whom good Hezekiah was perplext , But when blasphemous Pagans , ( puft with pride ) Contemptuously the GOD of Gods defide , The Lord of Lords ( whom no power can withstand ) Tooke his owne gracious , glorious cause in hand . He vsd no humane Arme , or speare , or sword , But with his All-commanding mighty word , One Angell sent to grisly Plutoes den A hundred , eighty , and fiue thousand men . Then fiftly was Ierusalem subdude , In Iudaes blood , th' Assirians hands imbrude , Manasses Godles glory did expire , All yeeld vnto th' insulting foes desire ; Vsurping Conquest all did seaze vpon , The King in chaines-bound , sent to Babylon , Till he ( Repenting ) to his GOD did call , Who heard his cry , and freed him out of thrall . Then sixtly , Pharaoh-Necho , Egipts King , To great distresse all Iudaes Land did bring , With fell confusion all the Kingdom , fill'd And ( with a dart ) good King Iosias kill'd . The Shepheard , for his wandring sheep was shooke , The godly Prince , from godles people tooke ; So this iust , zealous , and religious Prince , ( Whose like scarce euer Raign'd before , or since ) Th' Almighty ( to himselfe ) did take agen , As knowing him too good for such bad men . Nabuchadnezer , next made them obay , When Zedekiah did the Scepter sway : King , Kingdom , Peeres and People , all o'rethrowne , All topsie-turuy , spoyld and tumbled downe ; The curst Caldeans did the King surprise , Then slew his Sons , and next pluck'd out his eyes : Then vnto Babilon he was conuayde , In Chaines , in Prison , and in Darknes layde , Till death his Corps , did from his soule deuide He liu'd a slaue , and sadly , gladly dyde . The Citie , and the Temple burnt and spoyld , With all pollution euery place was soyld ; The holy vessels all away were borne , The sacred Garments which the Priests had worne , All these the Caldies , ( voide of all remorce ) Did carry vnto Babylon , perforce . Which , seuenty yeeres , in slauerie and much woe They kept , and would by no meanes let them goe , Till Persian Cirus did Earths glory gaine , Who freede the Iewes , and sent them home againe : He rendred backe their vessells and their store , And bad them build their Temple vp once more . Which many yeeres in glorious state did stand Till Ptolomie , the King of Egipts band Surprisde the Iewes , and made them all obay , Assaulting them vpon the Sabboth day . Next after that , from Rome great Pompey came , And Iudaes force , by force , perforce did tame : Then did the Caesars beare the earthly sway , The vniuersall world did them obay . And after that the Romane power did place The Idumean Herods graceles Grace , Him they created Tetrarch ( demy King ) Gainst whom the Iewes did boldly spurne and fling , For they had sworne that none but Dauids seed In the seat Royall euer should succeed . But Sossius , and King Herods armies strength Did ouer-run them all in breadth and length , By hostile Armes they did them all prouoke To beare the burthen of their awfull yoke . And lastly them the Romanes ouer-run By valiant Titus , old Vespasians sonne ; Then fell they to an vnrecouer'd wane , They all in generall , were or slaine or tane , Then was the extirpation of them all , Their iust , worst , last , most fatall , finall fall . Thus mercy ( being mock'd ) pluckd iudgmēt down ; Gods fauour being scorn'd , prouokes his frowne ; Aboue all Nations he did them respect , Below all Nations he did them deiect ; Most vnto them his fauour was addicted , Most vpon them his furie was inflicted ; Most neere , most deere , they were to him in loue , And farthest off his wrath did them remoue ; He blest , he curst , he gaue , and then he tooke As they his word obayde , or else forsooke . How oft Iehouah seem'd his sword to draw To make them feare his precepts and his Law , How oft he raisd them , when they headlong fell , How oft he pardond , when they did rebell , How long did Mercy shine , and Iustice winke When their foule crimes before Gods face did stinke How oft Repentance , like a pleasing sauour Repurchasd GODS abused gracious fauour . When he did blessings vpon blessings heape , Then they ( ingratefull ) held them meane & cheape ; Their plenty made them too too much secure , They their Creators yoke would not endure , They ( Graceles ) fell from goodnes and from grace , And kick'd and spurn'd at Heau'ns most glorious face . The Prophets , and the Seers that were sent To warne them to amendment & repent , They ston'd , they killd , they scorn'd , they beat , they bound , Their goodnes to requite , their spight did wound . The Prophets came with loue , and purchasd hate , They offred peace , and were returnd debate ; They came to saue , and were vniustly spilld , They brought them life , and were vnkindly killd , No better entertainment they afford Vnto the Legates of their louing Lord. Thus were the Lab'rers in GODS Vineyard vsde , Thus was their loue , their care , their paines abusde ; Their toyles and trauailes had no more regard , Bonds , death , and tortures , was their best reward . At last th' Almighty from his glorious seat Perceiu'd his seruants they so ill intreat , No more would send a Prophet or a Seer But his owne Sonne , which he esteem'd most deere . He left his high Tribunall , and downe came , And for all Glory , enterchang'd all shame , All mortall miseries he vnderwent To cause his loued-loueles Iewes repent ; By Signes , by Wonders , and by Miracles , By Preaching , Parables , and Oracles , He wrought , and sought , their faithles faith to cure , But euer they obdurate did endure . Our blest Redeemer came vnto his owne And 'mongst them neither was receiu'd or knowne , He whom of all they should haue welcom'd best They scorn'd and hated more then all the rest . The GOD of principalities and powers , A Sea of endles , boundles mercy , showres Vpon the heads of these vnthankfull men , Who pay loue , hate ; and good with ill agen . Their murdrous-minded-malice neuer left Till they the Lord of life , of life bereft ; No tongue , or pen , can speake or write the storie Of the surpassing high immortall glory Which he ( in pittie and in loue ) forsooke When he on him our fraile weake nature tooke . To saue Mans soule , his most esteemed Iem , And bring it to the new Ierusalem , From Greatest great , to least of least he fell For his beloued chosen Israel . But they more mad then madnes , in behauiour , Laid cursed hands vpon our blessed Sauiour . They kill'd th' eternall sonne and heyre of heau'n By whom , and from whom , all our liues are giu'n , For which the great Almighty did refuse , Disperse , and quite forsake the faithles Iewes , And in his Iustice great omnipotence He left them to a reprobated sence . Thus sundry times these people fell and rose , From weale to want , from height of ioyes to woes : As they their gracious GOD forsooke , or tooke , His mercy either tooke them , or forsooke . The swart Egyptians , and the Isralites , And raging Rezin King of Aramites , Then the Assirians twice , and then againe Th' Egiptians ouer-runs them all amaine ; Then the Caldeans , and once more there came Egiptian Ptolomy , who them o'recame . Then Pompey , next King Herod , last of all Vespasian was their vniuersall fall . As in Assiria Monarchy began They lost it to the warlike Persian , Of Nimrods Race , a Race of Kings descended Till in Astiages his stocke was ended ; For Cirus , vnto Persia did translate Th' Assirian Soueraigne Monarchizing state . Then after many bloody bruzing Armes The Persian yeelded to the Greekes Alarm's , But ( smoake-like ) Gracian glory lasted not , Before t was ripe , it did vntimely rot . The worlds Commander , Alexander dyde , And his Successors did the world deuide ; From one great Monarch , in a moment springs Confusion ( Hydra-like ) from selfe-made Kings . Till they ( all wearied ) slaughter'd and forlorne Had all the earth dismembred , rent and torne ; The Romans tooke aduantage of their fall And ouer-ran , c●ptiu'de , and conquerd all . Thus as one nayle another out doth driue , The Persians the Assirians did depriue ; The Graecians then the Persian pride did tame , The Romanes then the Graecians ouercame , Whilst like a vapour all the world was tost , And Kingdoms were transferd from coast to coast ; And still the Iewes in scattred multitudes Deliuer'd were to sundry seruitudes , Chang'd , giuen , bought , & sold , from land to land , Where they not vnderstood , nor vnderstand . To euery Monarchy they were made slaues , Egipt and Aram , Caldea them out braues , Assiria , Persia , Graecia , lastly Rome Inuaded them , by heauens iust angry doome . Foure Ages did the sonnes of H●ber passe Before their finall desolation was ; Their first Age , aged Patriarks did guide , The second , reuerend Iudges did decide , The third by Kings , naught , good , bad , worse and worst , The fourth by Prophets , who them blest or curst , As their dread GOD commanded , or forbid To blesse or curse , eu'n so the Prophets did . Our Sauiour , weeping on the Mount did view The Cittie , and foretold what would ensue ; And in his tender pitty vnto them Said , oh Ierusalem , Ierusalem , Thou killst the Prophets , and to death didst ding Those that were sent , thee heau'nly grace to bring , How oft and oft would I ( for your owne good ) Haue gathered you , as doth as Hen hir brood , But you would not , and therefore to you all Your houses shall to desolation fall . Which came to passe , according as he said , Which in the second part is here displaide . The last and most lamentable Destruction , of the Ancient , famous , and memorable Cittie and Temple of Ierusalem ; being destroyed by Vespasian , and his Sonne Titus . COnfusion , Horror , Terror , dreadfull Wars , Domesticke , forreine , inward , outward Jars , Shafts shot at Iuda in Iehouahs ire , Infectious plague , war , famine , sword and fire , Depopulation , desolation , and The finall conquest of old Iacobs Land. These are the Theames my mournfull Muse rehearses , These are the grounds of my lamenting Verses . Iosephus wrote these things in ample wise , Which I thus briefly do Epitomize : Which worthy Author in large scope relates His Countries alterations , and estates . The Bookes of his Antiquities do tell How often times th'arose , how oft they fell , How oft God fauourd them , how oft his frowne From height of greatnes cast them headlong downe , The Seaueuth booke of his Warrs , declareth plaine How Roman Conquest did the Kingdom gaine , How death did tyrannize in sundry shapes , In sword , in fire , in famine , and in Rapes . Who loues to read at large , let him read his , Who likes compendious briefes , let him read this . Since Hebers sons the country first enioy de , Six times it hath bin wasted and destroyde , Twice three times spoyld , and thirteen times in all Wars force , or Composition made it thrall . Compare all wars , that chanc'd since the Creation , They all are nothing to their desolation ; No storie , or no memorie describes Calamitie to match old Isrels Tribes , For if each Land their bloody broyls recount ( To them ) 't were but a mole-hill to a mount , All which ( for sin ) in the Almighties furie Was heap'd vpon the sinfull Land of Iurie : And almost sixteen hundred winters since Did great Vespaesian , Romes Imperiall Prince With braue yong Titus , his stout valiant son Iudeaes Kingdom spoyle and ouer-run . And with an Army Royall , and renownd They did Ierusalem beleaguer round . With force , with stratagems , with warlike powers , With Rams , with Engines , scaling ladders , Towers , With all the Art of either might or sleight The Romans vpon each aduantage wait . Whil'st the besieged , that within did dwell Amongst themselues to fell sedition fell ; Like neigh'bring bauins lyeng neere each other , One burnes , and burning each one burne another ; So did the Iewes each other madly kill And all the streets with their slaide corpses fill . Eleazer , Simon , Iohn , all disagree And rend Ierusalem in peeces three . These each contending who should be the chiefe ( More then the Romans ) caus'd their Contries griefe . Iohn scorn'd Eleazer should be his superior , And Eleazer thought Iohn his inferior ; And Symon scornd them both , and each did scorne By any to be rul'd or ouer-borne ; The Citie sundred thus in triple factions , Most horride , bloody , and inhumane actions Were still committed , all impieties , ( In sundry sorts of vile varieties ) All sacrilegious and vngodly acts Were counted Noble meritorious facts . They striu'd each other to surpasse in euill , And labor'd most , most how to serue the deuill . These men , of grace and goodnes had no thought , But daily , madly gainst each other fought . They hurly burly all things ouerturn'd , Their store-houses with victuals downe they burn'd , With hearts more hard then Adamantine rocks They drailed Virgins by the Amber locks ; The Reuerend Aged they did rend and teare About the streets by snowie antient haire ; Yong Infants , some their harmles braines dash out , And some on points of Launces borne about , That 't is not possible to write with pen The barb'rous outrage of these deuilish men : For they ( vnmindfull of the Roman force ) Themselu's did waste and spoyle without remorce . Their cruell slaughters made their furious foes Relent and weep , in pittie of their woes , Whil'st they ( relentles Villaines ) voyde of pitty Consume , and ruinate their mother-Citty . The Channels all with purple gore o're flowde , The streets with murdred carkasses were strowde : The Temple with vnhallowed hands defilde , Respect was none , to age , sex , man , or childe ; Thus this three-headed , hellish multitude Did waste themselu's , themselu's themselu's subdude Whil'st they within still made their strength more weak , The Roman Rams th'oposed walls did break : Whose dreadfull battry , made the Cittie tremble , At which the Factious all their powers assemble , And all together ( like good friends ) vnite And 'gainst their foes they sally forth and fight . Like a swolne Riuer , bounded in with banks Opposed long , with Pike-like Reedy Ranks , At last th' ambitious torrent breakes his bounds And ouer-runs whole Lordships , and confounds The liuing and the liueles , that dares bide The furie of his high insulting pride . Euen so the Iewes from out the Cittie venter'd , And like a flood the Roman Army enter'd , O'rewhelming in their desp'rate madnes all That durst withstand them , or assault the wall . They set the fearefull Engines all on fire , And brauely fighting made their foes retire ; The battell done , back came these hare-braind men And each the others foe , deuide agen . Pell mell confusion , then againe began , All order straight vnto disorder ran ; Their corne , and victualls , all consum'd with fire , Their hunger-starued bodies 'gins to tire , Prouision in a moment , spoyld and wasted , Which kept ( might well ) for many yeers haue lasted . Then Famine , like a Tyrant roames and rages , Makes faint ( yet furious ) hauock of all ages , The Rich , the poore , the old , the yong , all dies All staru'd , and fleshles bare Anatomies . This was a plague of plagues , a woe of woes , On euery side their death did them inclose , But yet the manner how to lose their breaths Did more torment them then an host of deaths . To sallie forth the Romans shed their blood , To stay within , they starue for want of food , And if they would go forth , the gates were shut , And if they staid within , their throats were cut . That if they stay , or go , or go , or stay , Th' are sure to meet destruction euery way ; But of all torments , hunger is the worst For through the stonie walls ( they say ) 't will burst ; These people with war , woe , and want , beset , Did striue how they might to the Romans get , They hopde to finde more mercy in their swords , Then their still-dying famisht state affords . Mans wit is sharpest when he is opprest , And wisdom ( amongst euills ) likes the least . They knew Vespasian for a Noble foe And one that did not glory in their woe , They thought it best his clemencie to trie , And not immurde with hungry famine die . Resolued thus ( dispairing in their hopes ) A number slyding downe the walls with ropes Fled vnto Tytus , who bemoand their case , Relieuing them , and tooke them to his Grace . Thus fortie thousand neere with famine staru'd , Were all vnhop'd for by their foes preseru'd . The Cittie soldiers search'd each house to see Where any victuals might conuayed be , And if they any found , they thought it fit To beat the owners for concealing it . But if they saw a man looke plump and fat His throat they presently would cut for that , They thought him too much pamperd , too wel fed , And to saue meat and drinke , they strike him dead . Some men and women , Rich and Nobly borne Gaue all they had for one poore strike of corne , And hid themselues and it below the ground In some close vault they eat the same vn-ground . If any could get slesh they eat it raw , The strongest still , the weakest ouer-awe , For hunger banisht naturall respect , It made the husband his owne wife reiect , The wife doth snatch the meat from out his hand Which would and should hir loue and life cōmand . All pitty from the Mother was exilde She teares and takes the victuals from hir Childe , The Childe doth with the Parents play the theefe Steales all their food , and lets them pine in griefe . Nor Free or Bond-man , Fathers , nor yet Mothers . Wiues , Husbands , Seruants , masters , sisters , brothers , Propinquitie or strong Affinitie , Nor all the rights of Consanguinitie , No Law , or Rule , or Reason could beare sway , Where strength cōmands , there weaknes must obay . The pining seruant will no master know , The son his father will no duty show , The Commons did no Magistrate regard , Each one for one , and but for one he carde , Disordred , like the Cart before the horse , All reu'rence and respect did yeeld to force . These Miscreants with vigilance all watch'd Where they could see a dore or lock'd or latch'd , There they supposd the people were at meat , And in their outrage ope the dores they beat , Where entring , if they found them feeding fast , From out their throats they teare the meat in haste , Halfe eaten , halfe vneaten , they constraine The wretched people cast it vp againe . They halde them by the eares the house about To force them bring supposed victuals out ; Some by the thumbs hang'd vp , some by the toes , Some prick'd with bodkins , some with many blowes Tormented were , to force them to reueale Meat , when they had not any to conceale . Now all was fish that fell into the net , And all was food that fraud or force could get ; Grasse , hay , barke , leaues of trees , and Dogs , and Cats , Toades , Frogs , wormes , snailes , flies , maggots , Mice and Rats , All filthy stinking and contagious Rootes , The couers of their Coaches , shooes , and bootes , All vermine , and the dung of Fowles and Beasts Were these poore wretches miserable feasts ; Things loathsom to be nam'd in time of plenty , Amongst the staru'd distressed Iewes were dainty . This famine ran beyond all Natures bounds , All motherly affection it confounds , No blood or birth , with it compassion won , It forc'd a Woman kill hir onely Son , She rip'd him and dis-ioynted lim from lim , She drest , she boyld , she broyld , and rosted him , She eat him , she interr'd him in hir wombe , She made his births place his vntimely tombe . From hir ( by Nature ) did his life proceed , On him ( vnnaturall ) she hir selfe did feed , He was hir flesh , hir sinewes , bones and blood , She ( eating him ) hirselfe , hirselfe made food . No woe hir miserie can equallize , No griefe can match hir sad calamities ; The Soldiers smelt the meat and straight assemble , Which when they saw ( with horror ) made thē trēble Each one with staring haire , and ghastly looke , Affrighted , and amaz'd , the house forsooke . This horride action , quickly ouercame These men , whom force of man could neuer tame . Thou that dost liue like to a fatted Brawne , And cramst thy guts as long as thou canst yawne , Thou that dost eat and drinke away thy time , Accounting Gluttonie a God , no Crime , Thou must haue Fowle as high as heau'n that pearc'd And hast the bowels of the Ocean search'd , And from all places neere so far remore Hast dainties for thy all-deuouring throat , Whose pamperd paunch ne're leaues to feed & quaff Till it be made a Hogs trogh , filld with draff . Thinke on Ierusalem amidst thy Riot , Perhaps t will moue thee to a temp'rate diet . And you braue Dames , adorn'd with Iems & Iewels , That must haue Cawdles , Cullisses and Grewells , Conser●'s and Marchpanes , made in sundry shapes , As Castles , Towers , Horses , Beares and Apes , You , whom no Cherries like your lickrish tooth But they must be a Pound a pound forsooth , Thinke on Ierusalem amidst your glory , And then you 'le be lesse dainty . and more sorry . What there auaild their bewty , strength , or riches , ( Three things which all the spacious world bewitches ) Authoritie and Honor help'd them not , Wrong trod downe Right , and Iustice was forgot , Their greatest , chiefest , only earthly good Was ( t was no matter how they got it ) Food . One little peece of bread they reckond more Then erst they did of bags of Gold before , One scrap , which full fed crops away do fling , With them , had bin a ransom for a King. The loathsom garbadge which our Dogs refuse Had been a dish of state amongst the Iewes . Whilst Famine playd the Tyrant thus within The Romane Army striu'd the walls to win , Their Enginers , their Pioners and all Did mine and batter , and assault the wall . Ierusalem had three strong walls of stone And long t was ere the Romans could get one , The dearth and death of sword and famine spread The streets , that liuing trod vpon the dead , And many great mens houses full were filld With carkases , which the seditious killd . That with the stench of bodies putrifyde A number numberles of people dyde . And buriall to the dead they yeelded not , But where they fell , they let them stinke and rot , That plague , and sword , and famine , all three stroue Which shold most bodies from their soules remoue . Vnsensible of one anothers woes , The soldiers then the liueles Corpses throwes By hundreds and by thousands o're the walls , Which when the Romans saw their dismall falls They told to Titus , which when he perceiu'd He wept , and vp t'ward heau'n his hands he heau'd , And calld on GOD to witnes with him this These slaughters were no thought , or fault of his . Those wretches that could scape from out the Citie , Amongst their foes found both reliefe and pittie , If the seditious any catcht , that fled , Without remorse they straightway stroke him dead . Another miserie I must vnfold , A many Iewes had swallow'd store of gold , Which they supposd should help them in their need But from this Treasure did their bane proceed . For being by their en'myes fed and cherisht , The Gold was cause that many of them perisht ; Amongst them all , one poore vnhappy Creature Went priuately to do the needs of Nature , And in his Ordure for the Gold did looke , Where being by the stragling soldiers tooke , They ript him vp and searcht his maw , to finde What Gold or Treasure there remain'd behinde . In this sort , ( whilst the soldiers gap'd for gaine ) Was many a man and woman ript and slaine . In some they found Gold , and in many none , For had they Gold , or not Gold , all was one , They were imbowelld by the barb'rous foe And search'd if they had any gold or no. But now my storie briefly to conclude , Vespasians forces had the walls subdude , And his triumphant Banner was displaide Amidst the streets , which made the Iewes dismaid , Who ( desp'rate ) to the Temple did retire , Which ( with vngodly hands ) they set on fire . Whilst Noble Titus , with exceeding care Entreated them they would their Temple spare , Oh saue that House ( quoth he ) ô quench , oh slake , And I will spare you for that Houses sake , Oh let not after times report a storie That you haue burnt the worlds vnmatched glory , For your owne sakes , your Children , & your wiues If you do looke for pardon for your liues , If you expect grace from Vespasians hand Then spare your Temple , Titus doth command . The Iewes with hearts hard , offred mercy heard , But neither mercy , or themselues regard , They burnd , and in their madnes did confound King Salomons great Temple to the ground . That Temple which did thirty Millions cost Was in a moment all consum'd and lost , The blest Sanctum Sanctorum , holiest place Blest oft with high Iehouahs sacred Grace , Where ( at one offring ) as the Text saies plaine Were two and twentie thousand oxen slaine , One hundred twenty thousand sheep beside At the same time for an oblation dide That house of GOD ( which raignes aboue the thūder ) Whose glorious fame made all the world to wonder , Was burnt and ransackt , spight of humane aide And leuell with the lowly ground was laid . Which when Vespasian and yong Titus saw , They cride kill , kill , vse speed and marshall Law ; The Roman soldiers then ( inspirde with rage ) Spard none , slew all , respect no sex or age ; The streets were drowned in a purple flood And slaughterd carcasses did swim in blood . They slew whilst there were any left to slay , The ablest men , for slaues they bare away . Iohn , Simon and Eleazer , wicked fiends As they deseru'd , were brought to violent ends . And from the time the Romanes did begin The siege , vntill they did the Citie win , Sedition , sword , fire , famine , all depriues Eleuen hundred thousand , of their liues . Besides one hundred thousand at the least Were tane , and sold , as each had been a beast . And from the time it was at first erected Till ( by the Romanes it was last deiected ) It stood ( as it in histories appeares ) Twentie one hundred , seuenty and nine yeares . But yet ere GOD his vengance downe did throw , What strange prodigious wonders did he show , As warnings how they should destruction shun And cause them to repent for deeds misdon ; First in the Firmament , Th' offended Lord Shewd them a Commet like a fiery sword , The Temple and the Altar diuers nights Were all enuiron'd with bright burning lights , And in the middest of the Temple there Vnnat'rally a Cow a Lambe did beare , The Temples brazen gate , no bolts restraine But ( of it selfe ) it open flew amaine . Arm'd Men and Chariots in the Ayre assembled , The pondrous Earth , affrighted , quak'd , & trēbled , A voyce cride in the Temple , to this sense , Let vs depart , let vs depart from hence . These supernat'rall accidents , in sum Foretold some fearefull Iudgment was to come ; But yet the Iewes accounted them as toyes , Or scarcrow bugg-beares to fright wanton boyes , Secure they reuelld in Ierusalem , They thought these signes against their foes , not thē But yet when warre and death had all perform'd , When ruine , spoyle , and furious flames had storm'd , Who then the desolated place had seen Would not haue knowne there had a Citie been . Thus Iuda and Ierusalem all fell , Thus was fulfilld what Christ did once foretell , Sad desolation , all their ioyes bereft , And one stone on another was not left . FINIS . ERRATA . In the 23 staffe of Vrania , line 7 for adornd , read ador'de . In the 30 staffe , lin . 5. for Cretian , read Cretan . In the 39 staffe , lin . 1. for Memory , read Memory's . In the 40 staffe , lin 2. for truth , read troath . In the 45 staffe , lin 5. for slings , read flings . In the first part of Ierusalem , pag. 6. lin . 17. for shooke read strooke . 
A13524	----	The world runnes on vvheeles: or oddes, betwixt carts and coaches Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1623 Approx. 52 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 19 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13524 STC 23816 ESTC S101982 99837785 99837785 2128 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13524) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 2128) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:30) The world runnes on vvheeles: or oddes, betwixt carts and coaches Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [18] leaves Printed by E. A[llde] for Henry Gosson, London : 1623. By John Taylor. Printer's name from STC. With woodcut title vignette. Some print faded and show-through; pages marked, stained and torn; leaves tightly bound. Reproduction of original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Carriages and carts -- Early works to 1800. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-08 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-09 Jennifer Kietzman Sampled and proofread 2002-09 Jennifer Kietzman Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion The meaning of the Embleme . THe Deuill , the Flesh , the World doth Man oppos● And are his mighty and his mortall foes : The Deuill and the whorish Flesh drawes still , The World on Wheeles runs after with good wille For that which wee the World may iustly call ( I meane the lower Globe Terrestriall ) Is ( as the Deuill , and a Whore doth please ) Drawne here and there , and euery where , with ease Those that their Liues to vertue heere doe frame , Are in the World , but yet not of the same . Some such there are , whom neither Flesh or Deuill Can wilfully drawe on to any euill : But for the World , as 't is the World , you see It Runnes on Wheeles , and who the Palfreys bee ▪ Which Embleme , to the Reader doth display The Deuill and th● Flesh runnes swift away . The Chayn'd ensnared World doth follow fast ▪ Till All into Perditions pit be cast . The Picture topsie-turuie stands kew waw : The World turn'd vpside downe , as all men kn●● The World runnes on VVheeles : Or Oddes , betwixt Carts and Coaches . LONDON Printed by E. A. for Henry Gosson . 1623. ¶ To the noble Company of Cordwainers , the worshipfull Company of Sadlers & Woodmongers ; To the worthy , honest and lawdable Company of Water-men , And to the Sacred Society of Hackney-men , And finally , to as many as are grieued , and vniustly impouerished , and molested , with The Worlds Running on Wheeles . GEntlemen and Yeomen , maruell not that I writ this Pamphlet in Prose now , hauing before times set forth so many Bookes in verse ; The First Reason that mooued me to write thus , was because I was Lame , and durst not write Verses for feare they should be infected with my Griefe , & be lame too . The Second Reason is , because that I finde no good rime for a Coach but Broach , Roach Encroach , or such like : And you knowe that the Coach hath ouer-throwne the good vse of the Broach & Broch-turner , turning the one to Rackes and the other to Iackes , quite through the Kingdome : The Roach is a drie Fish , much like the vnprofitable profit of a Coach : It will cost more the dressing and Appurtnances then 't is worth : For the word Encroach I thinke that best befits it , for I think neuer such an impudent , prowd sawcie Intruder or Encroacher came into the world as a Coach is : for it hath driuen many honest Families out of their Houses , many Knights to Beggers , Corporations to pouerty , Almes deedes to all misdeedes , Hospitality to extortion , Plenty to famine , Humility to pride , Compassion to oppression , and all Earthly goodnes almost to an vtter confusion . These haue beene the causes why I writ this Booke in Prose , and Dedicated it to all your good Companies , knowing that you haue borne a heauy share in the Calamitie which these hyred Hackney hell-Carts haue put this Common-wealth vnto : For in all my whole Discourse , I doe not enueigh against any Coaches that belong to Persons of worth or qualitie , but onely against the Catterpiller swarme of hyrelings ; they haue vndone my poore Trade , whereof I am a Member , and though I looke for no reformation , yet I expect the benefit of an old Prouerbe ( Giue the loosers leaue to speake : ) I haue Imbroadered it with mirth , Quilted it with materiall stuffe , Lac'd it with similitudes ; Sowed it with comparisons , and in a word , so playd the Taylor with it , that I thinke it will fitte the wearing of any honest mans Reading , Attention , and Liking : But howsoeuer , I leaue both it and my selfe to remayne Yours as you are mine : Iohn Taylor . ¶ The VVorld runnes on Wheeles . WHat a Murraine , what piece of work haue we here ? The WORLD runs a Wheeles ? On my Conscience my Dung-cart will be most vnsauourly offended with it : Ihaue heard the wordes often ▪ The World runs on Wheeles ; what , like Pompeies Bridge at Ostend ? The great Gridyron in Christ-church , The Landskips of China , or the new found Instrument that goes by winding vp like a Iacke , that a Gentleman entreated a Musitian to Rost him Sele●●ers Round vpon it ? Ha! how can you make this good Master Poet ? I haue heard that the World stands stock still , & neuer stirres , but at an Earth-quake ; and then it trembles at the wickednes of the Inhabitants , and like an olde Mother , groanes vnder the misery of her vngracious Children : well , I will buy this volume of nuention for my Boyes to read at home in an Euening when they come from Schoole , there may be some goodnes in it ; I promise you truely I haue found in some of these Bookes very shrewd Items ; yea , and by your leaue , somewhat is found in them now and then , which the wisest of vs all may be the better for : though you call them Pamphlets , to tell you true , I like em better that are plaine and merrily written to a good intent , then those who are purposely stuffed and studyed , to deceiue the world , & vndo a Country , That tells vs of Proiects beyond the Moone , of Golden Mines , of Deuices to make the Thames run on the North side of London ( which may very easily be done , by remouing London to the Banke-side ) of planting the I le of Dogs with Whiblins , Corwhichets , Mushromes & Tobacco . Tut I like none of these , Let me see , as I take it , it is an inuectiue against Coaches , or a proofe or tryall of the Antiquitie of Carts and Coaches , T is so , and Gods blessing light on his heart that wrote it , for I thinke neuer since Phaeton brake his necke , neuer Land hath endured more trouble & molestation then this hath , by the cōtinual rumbling of these vpstart 4. wheel'd Tortoyses , as you may perhaps find anone : For as concerning the Antiquity of the Cart , I think it beyond the limmits of Record or writing , Besides , it hath a Reference or allusion to the Motion of the Heauens , which turnes vpon the Equinoctiall Axeltree , the two wheeles being the Articke and Antarticke Poles . Moreouer , though it be Poetically feygned , that the Sunne ( whom I could haue called Phoebus , Tytan , Apollo , Soll , or Hiperion ) is drawne by his foure hot and headstrong Horses ( whose names as I take it are ) Aeolus , Aethon , Phlegon , and Pyrois , Yet doe I not finde that Triumphant , Refulgent extinguisher of darknes is Coach'd , but that he is continually Carted through the twelue signes of the Zodiaque . And if Copernicus his opinion were to be allowed , that the Firmament with the Orbs and Planets did stand vnmoueable , and that onely the Terrestriall Globe turnes round daily according to the motion of Time , yet could the World haue no resemblance of a foure-wheel'd Coach ; but in all reason it must whirle round vpon but One Axeltree , like a two wheeld Cart. Nor can the searching eye , or most admirable Art of Astronomie , euer yet finde , that a Coach could attaine to that high exaltation of honour , as to be placed in the Firmament : It is apparently seene , that Charles his Cart ( which we by custome call Charles his Waine ) is most gloriously stellifide , where in the large Circumserence of Heauen , it is a most vsefull & beneficiall Sea-marke ( and somtimes a Land-marke too ) guiding and directing in the right way , such as trauaile on Neptunes waylesse Bosome , and many which are often benighted in wilde and desert passages , as my selfe can witnesse vpon Newmarket heath , where if that good Waine had not Carted me to my Lodging , I & my Horse might haue wandred I know not whither . Moreouer , as Man is the most noblest of all Creatures , and all foure-footed Beasts are ordayned for his vse and seruice ; so a Cart is the Embleme of a Man , and a Coach is the Figure of a Beast ; For as Man hath two legges , a Cart hath two wheeles : The Coach being ( in the like sense ) the true resemblance of a Beast , by which is Parabollically demonstrated vnto vs , that as much as Men are superior to Beasts , so much are honest and needfull Carts more nobly to be regarded and esteemed , aboue needlesse , vpstart , fantasticall , and Time-troubling Coaches . And as necessities and things whose commodious vses cannot be wanted , are to be respected before Toyes and trifles ( whose beginning is Folly , continuance Pride , and whose end is Ruine ) I say as necessity is to be preferred before superfluity , so is the Cart before the Coach ▪ For Stones , Timber , Corne , Wine , Beere , or any thing that wants life , there is a necessity they should be caried , because they are dead things and cannot goe on foot , which necessity the honest Cart doth supply : But the Coach like a superfluous Bable , or an vncharitable Mizer , doth sildome or neuer cary or help any dead or helplesse thing ; but on the contrary it helps those that can help themselues ( like Scoggin when he greazd the fat Sow on the Butt-end ) and carries men and women , who are able to goe or run ; Ergo the Cart is necessary , and the Coach superfluous . Besides , I am verily perswaded , that the proudest Coxcombe that euer was iolted in a Coach , will not be so impudent but will confesse that humility is to be preferred before pride ; which being granted , note the affability and lowlines of the Cart , and the pride and insoleney of the Coach , For the Carman humbly paces it on foot , as his Beast doth , whilst the Coachmā is mounted ( his fellow-horses & himself being all in a liuery ) with as many varieties of Laces , facings , Cloath and Colours as are in the Rainebowe , like a Motion or Pageant rides in state , & loades the poore Beast , which the Carman doth not ; and if the Carmens horse be melancholly or dull with hard and heauy labour , then will he like a kinde Piper whistle him a fit of mirth , to any tune from aboue Eela to belowe Gammoth , of which generosity and courtesie your Coachman is altogether ignorant , for he neuer whistles , but all his musicke is to rap out an oath , or blurt out a curse against his Teame . The word Carmen ( as I finde it in the Dictionarie ) doth signifie a Verse , or a Song , and betwixt Carmen and Carmen , there is some good correspondencie , for Versing , Singing , and Whistling , are all three Musicall , besides the Carthorse is a more learned beast then the Coachhorse , for scarce any Coach-horse in the world doth know any letter in the Book , when as euery Carthorse doth know the letter G. very vnderstandingly . If Adultery or Fornication bee committed in a Coach , it may be grauely and discreetely punished in a Cart , for as by this meanes the Coach may be a running Bawdy-house of abhomination , so the Cart may , ( and often is ) the sober , modest , and ciuill pac'd Instrument of Reformation : so as the Coach may be vices infection , the Cart often is vices correction . It was a time of famous memorable misery , when the Danes had tyrannicall insulting domination in this lard : for the flauery of the English was so insupportable , that he must Plowe , Sowe , Reape , Thrash Winnow , Grinde , Sift , Leauen , Knead , and Bake , and the domineering Dane would doe nothing but sleepe , play , and eate the fruit of the English mans labour ; which well may be alluded to the carefull Cart ▪ for let it plough , carrie & recarrie , early or late , all times & weathers , yet the hungry Coach gnawes him to the very bones : Oh beware of a Coach as you would doe of a Tyger , a Woolfe , or a Leuiathan , I 'le assure you it eates more ( though it drinkes lesse ) then the Coachman and his whole Teeme , it hath a mouth gaping on each side like a monster , with which they haue swallowed all the good housekeeping in England : It lately ( like a most insatiable deuouring beast ) did eate vp a Knight , a neighbour of mine , in the County of N. a Wood of aboue 400. Akers , as if it had beene but a bunch of Radish : of another , it deuoured a whole Castle , as it had beene a Marchpane ; scarcely allowing the Knight and his Lady halfe a colde shoulder of Mutton to their suppers on a Thursday night ; out of which reuersion the Coachman and the Footeman could picke but hungry Vailes : in another place ( passing through a Parke ) it could not be content to eate vp all the Deere , and other grazing Cattell , but it bit vp all the Oakes that stoode bareheaded , there to doe homage to their Lord and Maister euer since the conquest , crushing their olde sides as easily as one of our fine Dames ( with a poysoned breath ) will snap a Cinamon stick ; or with as much facility as a Bawde will eate a Pippin Tart , or swallow a stewed Pruine . For ( what call you the Towne ) where the great Oysters come from ? there it hath eaten vp a Church , Chauncell , Steeple , Bells and all , and it threatens a great Common that lyes neere , which in diebus illis hath relieued thousands of poore people ; nay , so hungry it is , that it will scarcely endure , in a Gentlemans house , a poore neighbours childe so much as to turne a Spit ; nor a Yeomans sonne to enter the house , though but in good will to the Chamber-maide , who anciently from 16. to 36. was wont to haue his breeding either in the Buttry , Celler , Stable , or Larder , and to bid good man Hobs , good-wife Grub , or the youth of the parish welcome at a Christmasse time ; but those dayes are gone , and their fellowes are neuer like to be seene about any of our top-gallant-houses . There was a Knight ( an acquaintance of mine ( whose whole meanes in the world was but threescore pounds a yeare , and aboue 20. of the same went for his Wiues Coach-hire ; now ( perhaps ) you shall haue an Irish Footman with a Iacket cudgell'd downe the shoulders and skirts , with yellow or Orenge tawny Lace , may trot from London 3. or 4. score miles to one of those decayed Mansions , when the simpring scornfull Pusse , the supposed Mistresse of the house ( with a mischiefe ) who is ( indeed ) a kinde of creature retired for a while into the Countrey to escape the whip in the Citie ) she demaunds out of the window scarce ready , and dressing her selfe in a glasse at noone : Fellow what is thine Errand , hast thou letters to me ? and if it be about di●ner , a man may sooner blow vp the Gates of Bergen ap Zome , with a Charme then get entrance , within the bounds of their Barr'd , Bolted , and Barracadoed Wicket : About 2. a Clocke , it may be after walking an houre or twaine , Sir Sellall comes downe , vntrust with a Pipe of Tobacco in his fist to know your businesse , hauing first peeped through a broken pane of Glasse , to see whether you come to demaund any money , or olde debt , or not , when after a few hollow dry complements ( without drinke ) he turnes you out at the gate , his worship returning to his Stove : What Townes are layde waste ? what fields lye vntilled ? what goodly houses are turn'd to the habitations of Howlets , Dawes , and Hobgoblins ? what numbers of poore are encreased ? yea examine this last yeare but the Register bookes of burials , of our greatest Townes and Parishes of the land , as Winondham in Norfolke , White Chappell neere London , and many other , and see how many haue beene buried weekely , that haue meerely perished for want of bread ; whilst Pride and Luxurie dam vp our streetes , Barracado our high wayes , and are ready euen to driue ouer their Graues , whom their vnmercifull Pride hath farnished . Whence comes Leather to be so deare , but by reason ( or as I should say against reason ) of the multitude of Coaches , and Carroaches , who consume and take vp the best Hides that can be gotten in our Kingdome , insomuch that I cannot buy a payre of Boores for my selfe vnder an Angell , nor my Wife a payre of Shooes ( though her foote be vnder the seauenteenes ) vnder eight groates or three shillings ; by which meanes many honest Shoomakers are either vndone or vndoing , and infinite numbers of poore Christians , are enforced to goe barefooted in the colde Winters , till with very benummednesse , some their toes , and some their feete are rotted off , to the numberlesse encrease of crooched Cripples , and wooden legg'd beggers , of which sort of miserable dismembred wretches , euery streete is plentifully stored with , to the scorne of other Nations , and the shame and obloquy of our owne . The Saddlers ( being an ancient , a worthy and a vsefull Company ) they haue almost ouerthrowne the whole trade , to the vndoing of many honest Families ; For whereas within our memories , our Nobility and Gentry would tide well mounted ( and sometimes walke on foot ) gallantly attended with three or foure score braue fellowes in blew coates , which was a glory to our Nation ; and gaue more content to the beholders , then forty of your Leather Tumbrels : Then men preseru'd their bodies strong and able by walking , riding , and other manly exercises : then Sadlers were a good Trade , and the name of a Coach was Heathen-Greeke . Who euer saw ( but vpon extraordinary occasions ) Sir Philip Sidney , Sir Francis Drake , Sir Iohn Norris , Sir William Winter , Sir Roger Williams , or ( whom I should haue nam'd first ) the famous Lord Gray , and Willoughby , with the renowned George Earle of Cumberland , or Robert Eatle of Essex : These sonnes of Mars , who in their times were the glorious Brooches of our Nation , and an admirable terrour to our Enemies : these I say did make small vse of Coaches , and there were two maine reasons for it , the one was that there were but few Coaches in most of their times : and the second reason is , they were deadly foes to all sloath and effeminacie : The like was Sir Francis Vere , with thousands others : but what should I talke further ? this is the ratling , rowling , rumbling age , and The World runnes on Wheeles . The Hackney-men who were wont to haue furnished Trauellers in all places , with fitting and seruiceable Horses for any iourney , ( by the multitude of Coaches ) are vndone by the dozens , and the whole Common-wealth most abhominably Iaded , that in many places a man had as good to ride vpon a wodden Post , as to Post it vpon one of those poore hunger-staru'd hirelings : which enormity can be imputed to nothing , but the Coaches intrusion , is the Hackney-mans confusion . Nor haue we poore Watermen the least cause to complaine against this infernall swarme of Trade-spillers , who like the Grashoppers or Caterpillers of Egipt haue so ouer-runne the land , that we can get no liuing vpon the water ; for I dare truly affirme that euery day in any Tearme ( especially if the Court be at Whitehall ) they do rob vs of our liuings , and carry 560. fares daily from vs , which numbers of passengers were wont to supply our necessities , and enable vs sufficiently with meanes to doe our Prince and Countrey seruice : and all the whole fry of our famous Whores , whose ancient Lodgings were neere S. Katherines , the Bankside , Lambeth-Marsh , Westminster , White Friers , Coleharbar , or any other place neere the Thames , who were wont after they had any good Trading , or reasonable commings in , to take a Boate and ayre themselues vpon the water , yea ( and by your leaue ) be very liberall to , and I say as a Mercer said once , A Whores money is as good as a Ladies , and a Bawdes as current as a Midwiues : Tush those times are past , and our Hackney Coaches haue hurried all our Hackney customers quite out of our reach towards the North parts of the Citie , where they are daily practised in the Coach , that by often iolting they may the better endure the Cart vpon any occasion , and indeede many times a hired Coachman with a basket hilted blade hang'd or executed about his shoulders in a belt , ( with a cloake of some py●e colour , with two or three change of Laces about ) may man , a brace or a Leash of these curu●tting Cockatrices to their places of recreation , and so saue them the charge of maintaining a Sir Pandarus or an Apple-squire , which seruice indeede to speake the truth , a Waterman is altogether vnfit for ; and the worst is , most of them are such Loggerheads , that they either will not learne , but as I thinke would scorne to be taught : so that if the Sculler had not bene paide when hee was paide , it is to be doubted that he should neuer haue beene paide , for the Coachman hath gotten all the custome from the Scullers pay-Mistris . This is one apparent reason , why all the Whores haue forsaken vs , and spend their Cash so free and frequent vpon those ingenious , well practiz'd , and seruiceable hired Coachmen : but ( a Pox take em all ) whither doth my wits runne after Whores and Knaues ? I pray you but note the streetes , and the chambers or lodgings in Fleet streete , or the Strand , how they are pesterd with them , especially after a Masque or a Play at the Court , where euen the very earth quakes and trembles , the Cazements shatter , tatter and clatter , and such a confused noyse is made , as if all the deuils in hell were at Barly-breake ; so that a man can neither sleepe , speake , heare , write , or eate his dinner or supper quiet for them : besides , their tumbling din ( like a counterfeit Thunder ) doth sowre Wine , Ale and Beere most abhominably , to the impairing of their healths that drinke it , and the making of many a Victualer and Tapster Trade-falne . A Wheelewright or a maker of Carts , is an ancient , a profitable , and a Trade , which by no meanes can be wanted ; yet so poore it is , that scarce the best amongst them can hardly euer attaine to better then a Calueskin sute , or a piece of neck Beefe & Carret-rootes to dinner on a Sunday ; nor scarcely any of them is euer mounted to any Office aboue the degree of a Scauenger , or a Tything man at the most . On the contrary , your Coachmakers trade is the most gainefullest about the Towne , they are apparelled in Sattens and Veluets , are Maister of their Parish , Vestry men , who fare like the Emperours Heliogabalus , or Sardanapalus , seldom without their Mackeroones , Parmisants , Iellyes and Kickshawes , with baked Swannes , Pasties hote , or c●ld red Deere Pyes , which they haue from their Debtors worships in the Countrey : neither are these Coaches onely thus cumbersome by their Rumbling and Rutting , as they are by their standing still , and damming vp the streetes and lanes , as the Blacke Friers , and diuers other places can witnesse , and against Coach-makers dores the streetes are so pesterd and clogg'd with them , that neither Man , Horse , or Cart can passe for them ; in so much as my Lord Maior is highly to be commended for his care in this restraint , sending in February last many of them to the Counter for their carelesnesse herein . They haue beene the vniuersall decay of almost all the best Ash Trees in the Kingdome , for a young plant can no soouer peepe vp to any perfection , but presently it is felled for the Coach : Nor a young Horse bred of any beauty or goodnesse , but he is ordained from his foaling for the seruice of the Coach ; so that whereas in former ages , both in peace and warres , we might compare with any Nation in the world for the multitude and goodnes of our Horses : wee now thinke of no other imployment for them , then to draw in a Coach , and when they are either lamed by the negligence of the Coachman , or worne out after many yeares with trotting to Playes and Bawdy houses , then are they ( like olde maymed Souldiers ) after their wounds and scarres , preferd to Woodmongers , ( where they are well Billited ) or to Draymen , where they turne Tapsters , and draw Beere by whole Barrels , and Hogsheads at once ; and there they weare out the Remainder of their dayes , till new harnei● for others , are made of their olde skins . The last Proclamations concerning the Retiring of the Gentry our of the Citty into their Countreyes , although my selfe , with many thousands more were much impouerished and hindred of our Liuings by their departure ; yet on the other side how it cleared the Streetes of these way-stopping Whirligiggs , for a man now might walke without being stand vp hoe , by a fellow that scarcely can either goe or stand himselfe . Prince , Nobilitie , and Gentlemen of worth , Offices & Quality , haue herein their priuiledge , and are exempt , may ride as their occasions or pleasures shall indite them , as most meete they should ; but when euery Gill Turntripe , Mrs. Fumkins , Madame Polecat , and my Lady Trash , Froth the Tapster , Bill the Taylor , Lauender the Broker , Whiff the Tobacco seller , with their companion Trugs , must be Coach'd to S. Albones , Burntwood , Hockley in the Hole , Croydon , Windsor , Vxbridge , and many other places , like wilde Haggards prancing vp and downe , that what they get by cheating , swearing , and lying at home , they spend in Ryot , Whoring , and Drunkennesse abroade . I say by my hallidome , it is a burning shame ; I did lately write a Pamphlet called a Thiefe , wherein I did a little touch vpon this point ; that seeing the Heard of Hireling Coaches are more then the Whirries on the Thames , and that they make Leather so excessiue decre , that it were good the order in Bohemia were obserued here , which is , that euery hired Coach should be drawne with Ropes , and that all their Harnesse should be Hemp and Cordage : besides if the Couer and Bootes of them were of good Rosind or pitched Canuas , it would bring downe the price of Leather , and by that meanes a hired Coach would be knowne from a Princes , a Noble mans , Ladies , or people of note , account , respect and quality . And if it be but considered in the right Kue , a Coach or Carroach are meere Engines of Pride , ( which no man can denie to be one of the seauen deadly sinnes ) for two Leash of Oyster-wiues hired a Coach on a Thursday after Whitsontide , to carie them to the greene-Goose Faire at Stratford the Bowe , and as they were hurried betwixt Algate and Mile-end , they were so be-Madam'd , be-Mistrist , and Ladifide by the Beggers , that the foolish women began to swell with a proud supposition or Imaginary greatnesse , and gaue all their money to the mendicanting Canters ; insomuch that they were feigne to pawne their Gownes and Smocks the next day to buy Oysters , or else their pride had made them Cry for want of what to Cry withall . Thus much I can speake by experience ; I doe partly know some of mine owne qualities , and I doe know that I doe hate pride , as I hate famine or surfetting ; and moreouer , I know my selfe to be ( at the best ) but Iohn Taylor , and a mechanicall Waterman , yet it was but my chance once to be brought from Whitehall to the Tower in my Maister Sir William Waades Coach , and before I had beene drawne twentie yards , such a Timpany of pride puft me vp , that I was ready to burst with the winde Chollick of vaine glory . In what state I would leane ouer the Boote , and looke , and pry if I saw any of my acquaintance , and then I would stand vp , vayling my Bonnet , kissing my right clawe , extending my armes as I had beene swimming , with God saue your Lordship , Worship , or how doest thou honest neighbour or good-fellow ? in a word , the Coach made me thinke my selfe better then my betters that went on foote , and that I was but little inferiour to Tamberlaine , being iolted thus in state by those pampered Iades of Belgia : all men of indifferent iudgement will confesse , that a Cart is an instrument conformable to law , order , and discipline ; for it rests on the Sabaoth dayes , and commonly all other Holy dayes , and if it should by any meanes breake or transgresse against any of these good Iniunctions , there are Informers that lye in ambush ( like carefull Scowtes ) to informe against the poore Cart , that in conclusion my Lady Pecunia must become surety and take vp the matter , or else there will be more stirre about the flesh then the Broath is worth : whereas ( on the contrary ) a Coach like a Pagan , an Heathen , an Infidel , or Atheist , obserues neither Sabaoth , or holiday , time or season , ●obustiously breaking through the toyle or net of deuine and humane law , order , and authority , and as it were contemning all Christian conformity ; like a dogge that lyes on a heape of Hay , who will eate none of it himselfe , nor suffer any other beast to eate any : euen so the Coach is not capable of hearing what a Preacher saith , nor will it suffer men or women to heare that would heare , for it makes such a hideous rumbling in the Streetes by many Church dores , that peoples eares are stop'd with the noyse , whereby they are debard of their edifying , which makes faith so fruitlesse , good workes so barren , and charity as cold at Midsommer , as if it were a great Frost , and by this meanes soules are rob'd and starued of their heeuenly Manna , and the Kingdome of darknesse replenished : to auoyd which , they haue set vp a crosse post in Cheapside on Sundayes neere Woodstreet end , which makes the Coaches rattle and iumble on the other side of the way further from the Church , and from hindering of their hearing . The Nagaians , Iughonians , and the vngodly barbarous Tartarians , who knew no God or deuill , Heauen nor hell , and who indeede are Nations that haue neither Townes , Citties , Villages , or houses ; Their habitations are nothing but Coaches : in their Coaches they eate , sleepe , beget children , who are also there borne , and borne from place to place , with them the World runnes on Wheeles continually , for they are drawne in Droues or Heards 20. 30. or 40000. together , to any fruitfull place or Champion plaine , where they and their beasts doe stay till they haue deuoured all manner of sustenance that may maintaine life , and then they remoue to a fresh place doing the like ; thus wearing out their accursed liues like the broode of Caine , they and their houses being perpetuall vagabonds , and continuall runnagates vpon the face of the earth . They are so practized and inured in all kinde of Barbarisme , that they will milke one Mare and let another blood , and the blood and the milke they will Charne together in their Hats or Caps , till they haue made fresh Cheese and Creame ( which the deuill will scarce eate ) from these people our Coaches had first originall , and I doe wish with all my heart that the superfluous number of all our hireling Hackney carrie-Knaues and Hurrie-Whores , with their makers and maintainers were there , where they might neuer want continuall imployment . For their Antiquity in England , I thinke it is in the memory of many men when in the whole Kingdome , there was not one , and there was another principall vertue , as good as themselues came with them : for the Prouerbe saith , That mischiefe or mischances seldome come alone : and it is a doubtfull question , whether the deuill brought Tobacco into England in a Coach , or else brought a Coach in a fogge or mist of Tobacco . For in the yeare 1564. one William B●ouen a Dutchman brought first the vse of Coaches hither , and the said Boonen was Queene Elizabeths Coachman , for indeede a Coach was a strange Monster in those dayes , and the fight of them put both horse and man into amazement : some said it was a great Crab-shell brought out of China , and some imagin'd it to be one of the Pagan Temples , in which the Canibals adored the deuill : but at last all those doubts were cleared , and Coach-making became a substantiall Trade : So that now all the world may see , they are as common as Whores , and may be hired as easie as Knights of the Post. The Cart is an open transparent Engine , that any man may perceiue the plaine honesty of it ; there is no part of it within or without , but it is in the continuall view of all men : On the contrary , the Coach is a close hipocrite , for it hath a couer for any Knauery , and Curtaines to vaile or shadow any wickednesse : besides , like a perpetuall Cheater , it weares two Bootes and no Spurres , sometimes hauing two paire of legges in one Boote , and often times ( against nature ) most preposterously it makes faire Ladies weare the Boote ; and if you note , they are carried backe to backe , like people surpriz'd by Pyrates , to be tyed in that miserable manner , and throwne ouer boord into the Sea. Moreouer , it makes people imitate Sea Crabs , in being drawne side-wayes , as they are when they sit in the boote of the Coach , and it is a dangerous kinde of Carriage for the Common-wealth , if it be rightly considered ; for when a man shall be a Iustice of the Peace , a Serieant , or a Counsellour at Law ; what hope is it that all or many of them should vse vpright dealing , that haue beene so often in their youth , and daily in their maturer or riper age , drawne aside continually in a Coach , some to the right hand , and some to the left , for vse makes perfectnesse , and often going aside willingly makes men forget to goe vpright naturally . The order of Knighthood is both of great Antiquity and very honourable , yet within these later times there is a strange mysterie crept into in , for I haue noted it that when a Gentleman hath the sword laid vpon his shoulder , either by his Prince , or his Deputy or Generall in the field , although the blow with the sword , be an honour to the man , yet ( by a kinde of inspiration ) it cripples his wife , though she be at that time 300. miles from her husband , for if you but note her , you shall see her lamed for euer , so that shee can by no meanes goe without leading vnder the arme , or else shee must be carried in a Coach all her life time after ; forgetting in a manner to goe on her feete so much as to Church , though it bee but two Quoytes cast ; for I haue heard of a Gentlewoman that was lamed in this manner , who sent her man to Smithfield from Charing-Crosse , to hire a Coach to carrie her to Whitehall ; another did the like from Ludgate hill , to be carried to see a Play at the Blacke Friers : And in former times when they vsed to walke on foote , and recreate themselues , they were both strong and healthfull ; now all their exercise is priuately to Sawe Billets , to hang in a Swinge , or to rowle the great Rowler in the Alleyes of their Garden , but to goe without leading , or Riding in a Coach is such an impeachment and derogation to their Calling , which flesh and blood can by no meanes endure . Euery man knowes , that were it not for the Cart the Hay would Rot in the medowes , the Corne perish in the fields , the Markets be emptily furnished , at the Courts remoue the King would bee vnseru'd , and many a Gallant would bee enforced to bee his owne Sumpter-horse to carrie his luggage , bag and baggage himselfe ; and finally , were it not for the mannerly and courteous seruice of the Cart , many a well deseruing ill condition'd braue fellow might goe on foote to the gallowes . A Cart ( by the iudgement of an honourable and graue Lawyer ) is elder brother to a Coach for antiquity ; and for vtility and profit , all the world knows which is which , yet so vnnaturall and vnmannerly a brother the Coach is , that it will giue no way to the Cart , but with pride , contempt bitter curses and execrations , the Coachman wishes all the Carts on fire , or at the diuell , and that Carmen were all hang'd , when they cannot passe at their pleasures , quite forgetting themselues to be sawcy vnprofitable intruders , vp starts , and Innouators . When I see a Coach put vp into a house ( mee thinkes ) the pole standing stiffely erected , it lookes like the Image of Priapus , whom the libidinous and leacherous Whores and Knaues of Egypt were wont to fall downe and worship ; and I pray you what hinderance hath it but it may vse the Paphean or Priapean game ? for it is neuer vnfurnished of a bed and curtaines , with shop windowes of leather to buckle Bawdry vp as close in the midst of the street , as it were in the Stewes , or a Nunnery of Venus Votaries . What excessiue waste doe they make of our best broad-cloath of all colours ? and many times a young heire will put his old Fathers old Coach in a mourning Gowne of Cloth or Cotton , when many of the poore distressed members of Christ , goes naked , staruing with cold , not hauing any thing to hide their wretched carkasses ; and what spoyle of our Veluets , Damaskes , Taffataes , Siluer and Gold Lace , with Fringes of all sorts , and how much consumed in guilding , wherein is spent no small quantity of our best and finest gold : nor is the charge little of maintaining a Coach in reparation , for the very mending of the Harnesse , a Knights Coachman brought in a bill to his Master of 25. pounds : besides there is vsed more care & diligence in matching the Horses and Mares , then many fathers and mothers doe in the marriage of their sonnes and daughters : for many times a rich lubberly Clowne , the sonne of some gowty extortioner , or rent-racking Rascall , ( for his accursed muckes sake ) may bee matched with a beatifull or propper well qualified and nobly descended Gentlewoman , and a well fac'd handsome Esquire or Knights sonne and heire may be ioyn'd with a Ioyners puppet , or the daughter of a Sexton ; but for the choyce of your Coach-horses there is another manner of prouidence to be vsed , for they must be al of a colour , longitude , latitude , Cressitude , height , length , thicknesse , breadth , ( I muse they doe not weigh them in a paire of Ballance ) and being once matched with a great deale of care and cost , if one of them chance to die ( as by experience I know a Horse to bee a mortall beast ) then is the Coach like a maimed cripple , not able to trauell , till after much diligent search , a meete mate be found whose correspondency may be as equiualent to the suruiuing Palfrey , and in all respects as like as a Broome to a Bee●ome , Barme to Yeast , or Quodlings to boyld Apples . The mischiefes that haue beene done by them are not to be numbred , as breaking of legges and armes , ouerthrowing downe hills , ouer bridges . running ouer children , lame and old people , as Henrie the fourth of France , ( the father to the King that now reigneth ) he and his Queene were once like to haue beene drowned , the Coach ouerthrowing besides a bridge , & to proue that a Coach owed him an vnfortunate tricke , he was some few yeares after his first escape , most inhumanely and traiterously murdred in one , by Rauiliacke , in the streets at Paris : but what neede I runne my inuention out of breath into forreigne countreys for examples , when many of the chiefe Nobilitie and Gentrie of our owne Nation haue had some triall and sad experience of the truth of what I write ? sometimes the Coachman ( it may be hath bin drunk , or to speake more mannerly stolne a Manchet out of the Brewers Basket ) hath tumbled besides his Box of state , and Coach running ouer him hath kild him , the whilst the horses ( hauing the reines loose ) haue runne away with their Rattle at their heeles ( like dogges that had bladders of dryed Beanes , or empty bottles at their tailes ) as if the deuill had beene in them , and sometimes in the full speed of their course a wheele breakes , or the Naue slips off from the Axletree , downe leapes the Coachman , and away runs the horses , throwing their carriage into bushes , hedges , and ditches , neuer leauing their mad pace , till they haue torne to tatters their tumbling Tumbrell , to the manifest perill , danger , and vnrecouerable hurt to those whom they carry , and to all men , women , children and cattell , as Hogges , Sheepe , or whatsouer chanceth to be in their way : besides the great cost & charge of mending and Reparations of the Coach. There is almost nothing , but when it is worne out , it will serue for some vse , either for profit or pleasure ( except a Coach ) of the bottome of an old Cart , one may make a fence to stop a gap , of the Raues one may make a Ladder for Hennes to goe to Roost : of an olde Bores Franke , a new Dogge-kennell may be founded ; of a decayed Wherry or Boat , a backe part of a house of office may be framed ( as you may see euery where on the Bankside ) of an old Barrell , a bolting Hutch , an ouer-worne old Whore will make a spick and span new Bawde ; and a rotte● Bawde may make a new Witch . I knew a neighbour of mine ( an olde Iustice ) that of the bald veluet lyning of his Cloake , made him a paire of new Breeches , and those Breeches being worne past the best , with the best of them he made his wife a new French Hoode ; and when that was bare and past her wearing , it made him facing for his new Boote tops : But an old Coach is good for nothing but to cousen and deceiue people , as of the olde rotten Leather they make Vampies for high Shooes , for honest Country Plow-men , or Belts for Souldiers , or inner lynings for Girdles , Dogge-chollers for Mastiffes , indeede the Box if it were bored thorow , would be fittest for a close stoole , and the body would ( perhaps ) serue for a Sow to pigge in . If the curses of people that are wrong'd by them might haue preuailed , sure I thinke the most part of them had beene at the deuill many yeres agoe . Bu●●hers cannot passe with their cattell for them . Market folkes which bring prouision of victuals to the Citie , are stop'd , stay'd , and hindred . Carts or Waynes with their necessary ladings are debard and letted : the Milke-maydes ware is often spilt in the dirt ▪ and peoples guts like to be crushed out being crowded and shrowded vp against stalls , & stoopes . whilst Mistres Siluerpin with her Pander , and a paire of ●●amd Pullets ride grinning and deriding in their H●ll-Cart at their miseries who goe on foote : I my selfe haue beene so serued when I haue wished them all in the great Breach , or on a light fire vpon Hownslow heath , or Salisburie plaine : and their damming vp the streets in this manner , where people are wedged together that they can hardly stirre , is a maine and great aduantage to the most vertuous Mysterie of purse-cutring , and for any thing I know the hired or hackney Coachman may ioyne in confederacy and share with the Cut-purse , one to stop vp the way , and the other to shift in the Crowd . The superfluous vse of Coaches hath been the occasions of many vile and odious crimes , as murther , theft , cheating , hangings , whippings , Pillories , ●●ockes and cages ; for house-keeping neuer decaied 〈◊〉 Coaches came into England , till which time those were accounted the best men who had most followers and retainers ; then land about or neere London was thought deere enough at an noble the Aker yearely , and a ten-pound house-rent now , was scarce twenty shillings then , but the witchcraft of the Coach quickly mounted the price of all things ( except poore mens labour ) and withal transformed ( in some places 10. 20. 30. 40. 50. 60. or 100. proper Seruingmen , into two or three Animals ( videlicet ) a Butterfly page , a trotting footman , a stiff-drinking Coachman , a Cooke , a Clarke , a Steward , and a Butler , which hath enforced many a discarded tall fellow ( through want of meanes to liue , and grace to guide him in his pouertie ) to fall into such mischieuous actions before named , for which I thinke the Gallowses in England haue deuonred as many lusty valiant men within these 30. or 40. yeares , as would haue beene a sufficient armie to beate the foes of Christ out of Christendome , and marching to Constantinople , haue pluck'd the great Turke by the Beard : but as is aforesaid , this is the age wherien The World Runnes on Wheeles . It is a most vneasie kinde of passage in Coaches on the paued streetes in London , wherein men and women are so tost , tumbled , iumbled , rumbled , and crossing of kennels , dunghills , and vneuen-wayes , which is enough to put all the guts in their bellies out of ioynt , to make them haue the Palsey or Megrum , or to cast their Gorges with continuall Rocking and Wallowing : to preuent which , there was a gentleman of great note , found fault with his Coach-horses , because his Coach iolted him , commanding his man to sell away those hard trotting Iades , and to buy him a paire of Amblers , that might draw him with more ease : another , when hee saw one of his horses more lusty and free then his fellow , hee commanded his Coachman to feede him onely with bread & water , till he were as tame and quiet as the other , which wise command was dutifully obserued . The best vse that euer was made of Coaches was in the old warres betwixt the Hungarians and the Turkes , ( for like so many land Gallies ) they carried souldiers on each side with Crosbowes , and other warlike engines , and they serued for good vse being many thousands of them , to disrowte their enemies , breaking their rankes and order , making free and open passage for their horse and foote amongst the scattered squadrons and regiments , & vpon occasion they serued as a wall to Embarricado and fortifie their campe : this was a millitarie imployment for Coaches , and in this sort onely I could wish all our hirelings to be vsed . It is to be supposed that Pharaohs Charriots which were drowned in the red sea , were no other things in shape and fashion then our Coaches are at this time , and what great pitty was it that the makers and memories of them had not been obliuiously swallowed in that Egiptian downfall ? Mowntaigne , a learned and a noble French Writer , doth relate in his booke of Essayes , that the ancient Kings of Asia , and the Easterne parts of Europe , were wont to be drawne in their Coaches with foure Oxen , and that Mark Anthony with a Whore with him was drawne with Lyons . Heliogabalus the Empero●r was drawne with foure naked Whores , ( himselfe being the Coachman ) and the Coaches in these late times ( to shew some sparke of gratitude or thankfulnes ) in remembrance that naked Whores once drew 〈◊〉 of them , they doe in requitall very often carrie Whores halfe naked to the belly , and gallantly apparelled ; besides only but foure Whores drew one Coach , and 500. Coaches hath carried 10000. of them for it : but sometimes they were drawne with Stagges , as it is the vse in Lapland at this day . The Emperour Firmus was drawne with foure Estridges , and to requite those fauours , they doe now often carrie men as rauenous as Lyons , as well headed as Oxen or Stagges , and as the Estridges did once draw , so the feathers of them doe daily ride in Plumes and Fannes . In the Citie of Antwerp in Brabant I haue seene little Coaches , which men send their children to Schoole in , each of them drawne by a Mastiffe dogge , not hauing any guide : for the dogge himselfe doth exercise three offices at one time , being as the Horse to draw , the Coachman to direct , and an honest labouring dogge besides . I remember that in one place aforesaid , I haue written , that Coaches doe seldome carrie any dead things , as Stones , Timber , Wine , Beere , Corne , &c. But ▪ in so writing I finde that I haue done many of them great wrong , for I perceiue that they carrie oftentimes diuers sorts of Rye , as Knaue-Rye , Foole-Rye , Leache-Rye , Rogue-Rye , Vsue-Rye , Bawde-Rye , Braue-Rye , Slaue-Rye , and Begge-Rye . Sometimes ( by chaunce ) they may hap to carrie good Husband-Rye , and Housewife-Rye , but such burthens are as scarce , as money or charity : and one thing more comes into my minde about their multitude , for though a Coach doe 〈◊〉 to be a dead or sencelesse thing , yet when I se 〈…〉 consider how they doe multiply and encrease : I am doubtfull but that they are male and female , and vse the act of generation or begetting , or else their procreation could neuer so haue ouer-spread our Nation . To conclude , a Coach may fitly be compared to a Whore , for a Coach is painted , so is a Whore : a Coach is common , so is a Whore : a Coach is costly , so is a Whore ; a Coach is drawne with beasts , a Whore is drawne away with beastly Knaues . A Coach hath loose Curtaines , a Whore hath a loose Gowne , a Coach is lac'd and fring'd , so is a Whore : A Coach may be turn'd any way , so may a Whore : A Coach hath Bosses , Studs , and guilded nailes to adorne it : a Whore hath Owches , Brooches , Bracelets , Chaines and Iewels to set her forth : a Coach is alwaies out of reparations , so is a Whore : a Coach hath need of mending still , so hath a Whore : a Coach is vnprofitable , so is a whore : a Coach is superfluous , so is a Whore : a Coach is insatiate , so is a Whore : A Coach breakes mens neckes : a Whore breakes mens backes : This oddes is betwixt a Coach and a Whore , a man will lend his Coach to his friend , so will hee not his Whore : but any mans Whore will saue him the labour of lending her ; for she will lend her selfe to whom shee pleaseth . And thus my Booke and comparisons end together ; for thus much I know , that I haue but all this while bark'd at the Moone , throwne feathers against the winde , built vpon the 〈…〉 ●●ackmore , and laboured in vaine : 〈…〉 or enormitie hath pleasure in it , 〈…〉 profit , and power to defend it , 〈…〉 speake , and weakenesse may babble of Reformation , though to no end : and so I end . FINIS . 
A13520	----	Wit and mirth chargeably collected out of tauernes, ordinaries, innes, bowling greenes, and allyes, alehouses, tobacco shops, highwaies, and water-passages : made vp, and fashioned into clinches, bulls, quirkes, yerkes, quips, and ierkes : apothegmatically bundled vp and garbled at the request of old Iohn Garrets ghost / by Iohn Taylor, water-poet. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1628 Approx. 83 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 41 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13520 STC 23813.7 ESTC S3387 33143398 ocm 33143398 28446 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13520) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 28446) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1884:6) Wit and mirth chargeably collected out of tauernes, ordinaries, innes, bowling greenes, and allyes, alehouses, tobacco shops, highwaies, and water-passages : made vp, and fashioned into clinches, bulls, quirkes, yerkes, quips, and ierkes : apothegmatically bundled vp and garbled at the request of old Iohn Garrets ghost / by Iohn Taylor, water-poet. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [48] p. For Henrie Gosson, and are to sold at Christ-Church gate, Printed at London : 1628. Signatures: A-C⁸. Reproduction of original in: Harvard University. Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng English wit and humor. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-07 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-10 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Wit and Mirth , Chargeably collected out of Tauernes , Ordinaries , Innes , Bowling Greenes , and Allyes , Alehouses , Tobacco shops , Highwaies , and Water-passages . Made vp , and fashioned into Clinches , Bulls , Quirkes , Yerkes , Quips , and Ierkes . Apothegmatically bundled vp and garbled at the request of old Iohn Garrets Ghost . By Iohn Taylor , Water-Poet . Printed at London for Henrie Gosson , and are to be sold at Christ-Church gate . 1628. TO THE TRVLY Loyall hearted , learned , well-accomplished Gentleman , Mr. Archibald Rankin . SIR , BEeing inioyned by the Ghost or Genius of old Iohn Garret , ( a man well known and beloued ) to collect , gleane , or gather , a bundle or trusse of Mirth , and for his sake to bestrow the stage of the melancholly world with it ; and withall to present it to some one generous spirit , who was old Iohns friend ; I thought vpon many to whom I might haue made my Dedication , who were both Royall , Honorable , Worshipfull , and all wel-affected towards him : As to mention one for all , that 〈◊〉 of the world , & richest Iem of her sex , that Magazine of the two inestimable Iewels , Patience and Fortitude ; to that illustrious peerelesse Princesse I might haue recommended it , to whose seruice , and for whose happinesse , his life and best endeauours , with his prayers and implorations at his death , were vnfainedly consecrated . But my manners conceiuing the subiect of this Booke , of altogether to triuiall a nature to be sheltred vnder the shadow of the wings of transcendent and admired Maiestie ; I stept so many steps down the staires with my inuention , where by good fortune I met with you , whom I knew did loue that old honest mirrour of mirth , deceased ; and whom the world better knows , are a true deuoted friend to honest harmelesse mirth ; and laudable recreation . I therefore entreat you , that ( when your more serious affaires will permit ) you would bestow the looking vpon these my poore and beggarly wardrobe of witty lefts , whom I dare not call Apothegmes . And because I had many of them by relation and heare-say , I am in doubt that some of them may bee in print in some other Authors , which I doe assure you is more then I doe know ; which if it bee so , I pray you but to conniue or tollerate , and let the Authors make twice as bold with me at any time . Thus wishing euery one to mende one , whereby the rent and torne garments of Threed-bare Time may be well and merrily patched and repaired , crauing your pardon , with my best wishes , I remaine Yours euer in the best of my best 〈◊〉 . IOHN TAYLOR . IOHN GARRETS GHOST . THE doores and windowes of the Heauens were barr'd , And Nights blacke Curtaine , like an Ebon Robe , From Earth did all Celestiall light discard , And in sad darknesse clad the ample Globe ; Dead midnight came , the Cats'gan catterwaule , The time when Ghosts and Goblins walke about ; Bats flye , Owles shrick , & dismall Dogs do bawle , Whiles conscience cleare securely sleepes it out . At such a time I sleeping in my bed , A vision strange appear'd vnto my sight , Amazement all my senses ouer spread , And fill'd me full with terrour and afright . A merry graue aspect me thought he had , And one he seem'd that I had often seene : Yet was he in such vncouth shape y clad , That what he was I could not wistly weene . His cloake was Sack , but not the Sacke of 〈◊〉 , Canara , Mallago , or sprightfull Shery , But made of Sack-cloth , such as beares the graine , Good salt , & coles , which makes the Potters weary Lac'd round about with platted wheaten straw , For which he nothing to the Silkeman owed : A wearing neuer mention'd in the Law , And yet far off , like good gold lace it show'd . Lin'd was his mantle with good Essex plush , Pyde Calues skins , or Veale sattin , which you wil : It neuer was worne threedbare with a brush , I ( naturally ) sau'd the labour still . A hat like Grantham steeple , for the crowne Or Piramide was large in altitude : With frugall brim , whereby he still was knowne From other men amongst a multitude , A Princes shooe , he for a iewel wore , Two ribbonds , and a feather in his beauer , Which shape me thought I oft had seene before , Yet out of knowledge where , as 't had bin neuer . He in his hand a flaming torch did hold , ( And as hee neerer did approach to me ) My hayre 'gan stand on end , feare struck me cold , Feare not , I am Iohn Garrets ghost , quoth he . I come to rowze thy dull and lazy Muse From idlenesse , from Lethe's hatefull lake : And therefore stand vpon no vaine excuse , But rise , and to thy tooles thy selfe betake . Remember me , althongh my carkasse rot , Write of me , to me , call me Foole or Iester , But yet I pray thee ( Taylor ) ranke me not , Among those knaues that doe the world bepester , Thou wrot'st of Great Otoole and Coriat , Of braue Sir Thomas Parsons , Knight o' th Sun , And Archy hath thy verse to glory at , And yet for me thou nought hast euer done . Write that in Ireland , I in Mars his trayne , Long time did vnder noble Norris serue : Where ( as I could ) I stood gainst Pope and Spain , Whilst some were slain , & some w th want did starue Where shot , & wounds , & knocks , I gaue and took Vntill at last halfe maimed as I was , A man decrepit , I those warres forsooke And ( with my Passe ) did to my Country passe . Where getting health , I then shooke hands with death , And to the Court I often made resort . Where Englands mighty Queene Elizabeth Allow'd me entertainment for disport . Then by the foretop did I take old time : Then were not halfe so many fooles as now , Then was my 〈◊〉 , and my onely prime , My purse receiuing what my wit did plow. Then in such compasse I my iests would hold , That though I gaue a man a gird or twaine : All his reuenge would be to giue me gold , With commendations of my nimble braine . Thus liu'd I till that gracious Queene deceast , Who was succeeded by a famous King : In whose blest Sons reigne ( I with yeares opprest ) Me to my graue , sicknesse and death did bring . And now ( kind Iacke ) thou seest my ayrie forme Hath shaken off her Iayle of flesh and bone , Whilst they remaine the feast of many a worme . My better part doth visit thee alone . And as betweene vs still , our good requests , Thou neuer me . I neuer thee denyd : So for my sake collect some merry Iests , Whereby sad time may be with mirth 〈◊〉 . And when t is written find some good man forth , One ( as thou thinkst ) was when I liu'd my friend : And though thy lines may be but little worth , Yet vnto him my duty recommend , So farewell 〈◊〉 , dame Luna 'gins to rise , The twinkling stars begin to borrow light : Remember this my suit I thee aduise , And so once more good honest Iacke goodnight . With that more swifter then a shaft from bow , He cut and curried through the empty ayre , Whilst I amaz'd with feare , as cold as snow , Straight felt my spirits quickly to repayre . And though I found it but a dreame indeed , Yet for his sake of whom I dreamed then , I left my bed , and cloath'd my selfe with speed , And presently betooke me to my pen : Cleare was the morne , and Phoebus lent me light , And ( as it followeth ) I began to write . VVit and Mirth . ( 1 ) MY selfe caried an olde fellow by water , that had wealth enough to be Deputy of the Ward , and wit sufficient for a Scauenger ; the water being somewhat rough , hee was much afraid , and ( in stead of saying his prayers , ) 〈◊〉 threatned me , that if I did drowne him , he would spend a hundred pound , but hee would 〈◊〉 me hanged for it ; I desired him to be quiet and feare nothing , and so in litlle space I landed him at the Beares Colledge on the Bankside , alias Paris Garden , ) Well ( said he ) I am glad I am off the water , for it the Boat had miscaried , I could haue swum no more then a Goose. ( 2 ) AN old 〈◊〉 ( at the repayring of a Church ) was writing sentences of Scripture vpon the walles , by chance a friend of mine came into the Church , and reading them perceined much false English : Old man , said my friend , why do you not write true English ? Alas Sir ( quoth the Painter ) they are 〈◊〉 simple people in this Parish , and they will not goe to the cost of it . ( 3 ) TWo men being 〈◊〉 at a Table , one against the other the one of them hauing a cup in his hand , drank to the other , saying , Here Opposite I will drinke to you : Opposite , said the other ( being angry ) what is that , I would not haue thee put any of thy nicknames vpon mee , for thou shalt well know that I am no more opposite then thy selfe , or the skinne 〈◊〉 thy browes . ( 4 ) A Wealthy Monsieur in France , ( hauing profound 〈◊〉 , and 〈◊〉 braine ) was told by his man that 〈◊〉 did continually gape in his sléepe : at which he was angry with his man , saying , hée would not beléeue it : his man 〈◊〉 it to 〈◊〉 true , his master said that he would neuer beléeue any that tould him so , except ( quoth he ) I chance to see it with mine own eyes : and therefore I will haue a great Looking-glasse hanged at my beds 〈◊〉 for the purpofe , to try whether thou art a lying knaue or not . ( 5 ) THe said 〈◊〉 commaunded his man to buy him a gray hat , with a button in the 〈◊〉 to button it vp behind : his man bought him one , & brought him , he put it on his head with the button before , which when hee looked in the glasse and saw , he was very angry saying , thou crosse 〈◊〉 knaue , did I not 〈◊〉 thée buy a hat with the button to hold it vp behind , and thou hast brought mee one that turnes vp before : I command thée once more goe thy wayes , and 〈◊〉 me such a one as I would haue , 〈◊〉 it cost me . ( 6 ) THe same Gallent as 〈◊〉 trauelled , would haue a Goose to his Supper , which when she was 〈◊〉 and brought to the Table , he said shee 〈◊〉 : not so , I hope , said the 〈◊〉 , it cannot be , for I am sure shee was aliue since you came into the house : That may be quoth the 〈◊〉 , but then I am sure 〈◊〉 you kild her when she was 〈◊〉 , shee would neuer stinke so else . ( 7 ) AN excéeding tall Gentlewoman was riding behind a very short little man , so that the mans head reached no higher then her breast , which the afore-said 〈◊〉 perceiuing , said , Madam you will ride a great deale better , if you put your legge 〈◊〉 that same pummell of your saddle . Another time he chanced to méete a Lady of his acquaintance , and asked her how she did , and how her good 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ; at which word she wept , saying , that her Husband was in heauen ; in 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , it is the 〈◊〉 time that I 〈◊〉 of it , 〈◊〉 I am 〈◊〉 for it with all my heart . ( 8 ) ONce the said 〈◊〉 saw a 〈◊〉 that had a Iack Daw to sell : Sirra quoth he what wilt thou take for thy daw ? 〈◊〉 ( said the 〈◊〉 ) the price of my Daw is two French Crownes . Wherefore ( said the other ) dost thou aske so much for him ? the fellow replyed , that the Daw could speake French , Italian , Spanish , Dutch and Latine ; all which tongues hee will speake after he is a little acquainted in your Lordships house : Well quoth hee , bring thy Daw in , and there is thy money . In conclusion , Iack Daw ( after a moneth or fiue 〈◊〉 time ) neuer spake otherwise then his father 〈◊〉 Kaw Kaw : whereat the 〈◊〉 said , that the Knaue had cozened him of his money ; but it is no matter , there is no great 〈◊〉 in it : for quoth hee , though my Daw doe not speake yet I am in good hope that he thinkes the more . ( 9 ) ANother time hee commanded his man to buy some swéet thing to burne in his Chamber , for ( quoth he ) my 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 in a paper , and 〈◊〉 hee was going for fire , his master tasted of it , and finding it sticke in his téeth , and rellish very bitter , he called his man cozening knaue , that would bring him such bitter trash for his money ; and straight wayes commanded 〈◊〉 to buy a pound of the best sugar , and burne it straight to swéeten and perfume his Chamber . ( 10 ) THis Gallant in his youth was much addicted to dicing , and many times when hee had lost all his money , then hee would pawne his cloake , and so goe home without either cloake or coyne , which grieued the Lady his mother very much : for remedy whereof , she caused all his doublets ( of what stuffe soeuer ) to bee made with 〈◊〉 painted backes , whereon was fashioned 2 fooles , which caused the gentleman euer after to kéepe his cloake on his backe , for feare two of the thrée should bee discouered . ( 11 ) VVIll Backstead the Player cast his Chamber-lye out of his window in the night , which chanced to light vpon the heads of the watch passing by ; who angerly said , who is that offers vs this abuse ? Why , 〈◊〉 Will , who is there ? Who is here , said one of the pickled watchmen , we are the Watch. The Watch , quoth William , why my friends you know , Harme watch , harme catch . ( 12 ) A Cardinall of Rome had a goodly 〈◊〉 house new built , but the broken bricks , tiles , sand , lime , stones , and sush rubbish as are commonly the remnants of such buildings lay confusedly in heaps and scattered here and there : The Cardinall demanded of his Suruayor wherefore the rubbish was not conueyed away : The Suruayor said ; that he purposed to hyre an hundred carts for the purpose . The Cardinall replyed , that the charge of Carts might be saued , for a pit might digged in the ground and bury it . My Lord , sayd the Suruayor , I pray you what shall we 〈◊〉 with the earth which we digge out of the said pit ? Why you horseson 〈◊〉 , said the Cardinall , 〈◊〉 thou not dig the pit 〈◊〉 enough , and bury all together . ( 13 ) A Poore Country man praying 〈◊〉 Superstitious before an olde Image of S. Loy , the Image suddenly fell downe vpon the poore man , and bruised his bones sorely , that he could not stirre abroad in a 〈◊〉 after ; in which space the cheating Priests 〈◊〉 set 〈◊〉 a new Image : the country man came to the Church againe , and 〈◊〉 a 〈◊〉 off , to the new Image , saying , Although thou smilest and lookest faire vpon me yet thy father plaid me such a knauish pranke lately , that I le beware how I 〈◊〉 too neere thee , lest thou shouldest haue any of thy Fathers vnhappy qualities . ( 14 ) A 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ten 〈◊〉 in suit of Law , had a triall at 〈◊〉 , where the 〈◊〉 went on her side ; wherevpon 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 presently 〈◊〉 her 〈◊〉 by 〈◊〉 some of her néerest tenants & 〈◊〉 to supper ; amongst whom was a plaine downe right countrey 〈◊〉 , to whom the Lady sayd , 〈◊〉 , I thinke I haue tickled my aduersary now , though it were long first , I trow hee will make no brags of his medling with me . The honest 〈◊〉 replyed , Truely Madam I did euer thinke what it would come to at last , for I knew when he first medled with your 〈◊〉 , that he had a wrong Sow by the 〈◊〉 . ( 15 ) ONe asked a 〈◊〉 what the Westminster Hall was like ; Marry , quoth the other , it is like a Butlers Box at Christmas amongst 〈◊〉 , for whosoeuer loseth , the Box will be sure to bee a winner . ( 16 ) A Proper Gentlewoman went to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a rich 〈◊〉 that had more gowt then good manners , at her taking leaue hee requested her to tast a cup of Canara : She ( contrary to his expectation ) tooke him at his 〈◊〉 , and thanked him . Hee commanded Ieffrey Starueling his man to wash a glasse , and fill it to the Gentlewoman . Honest 〈◊〉 fild a great glasse about the bignesse of two Taylors thimbles , and gaue it to his master , who kist it to saue cost , and gaue it to the Gentlewoman , saying 〈◊〉 it was good Canara of sixe yeares old at the least , to whom shee an swered , ( séeing the quantitie so small ) sir , as you requested me , I haue tasted your wine , but I wonder that it should be so little , being of such a great age . ( 17 ) A Souldier vpon his march found a horse-shooe , and stucke it at his girdle , where passing through a wood , some of the enemy lay in 〈◊〉 , and one of them discharged his musket , and the shot by fortune light against the fellowes horse-shooe . A ha , 〈◊〉 . he , I perceiue that little armor will serue a mans turne , if it bee put on in the right place . ( 18 ) ONe being in a 〈◊〉 with his friend , looking out at the window , he saw one riding on a horse in the stréet , said he , do you sée that horse ? yea , 〈◊〉 . the other : then said he , you may sweare you haue séene the best hors in England : how do you know that said the other ? I know it well , said he , for it is my horse , and I am sure that he is the best , and yet I 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that I haue one in my stable worth ten of him . ( 19 ) AN vnhappy boy that kept his fathers 〈◊〉 in the country , did vse to cary a payre of Cards in his pocket , and méeting with boyes as good as himselfe , would fall to Cards at the Cambrian game of Whip-her-ginny , or English one and thirtie ; at which sport he would some daies lose a shéepe or two : for which if his father corrected him , hee ( in reuenge ) would driue the shéepe home at night ouer a narrow bridge , where some of them falling besides the bridge , were drowned in the swift brooke . The old man being wearied with his vngracious dealing , complained to a Iustice , thinking to afright him from doing any more the like . In briefe , before the 〈◊〉 the youth was brought , where ( vsing small reuerence , and lesse 〈◊〉 , ) the Iustice said to him , Sirrah , you are a notable villaine , you play at Cards , and lose your fathers shéepe at one and thirty . The boy replyed , that it was a lye . A lye , quoth the Iustice , you saucy knaue , dost thou giue me the 〈◊〉 No , qd the boy I gaue not you the lye , but you told me the lye , for I neuer lost Shéepe at one and thirty , for when my game was one and thirty I allwayes wonne . Indéede , said the Iustice , thou saist true , but I haue another accusation 〈◊〉 thée , which is , that you driue 〈◊〉 fathers shéepe ouer a narrow bridge , where some of them are oftentimes drowned : That 's a lye too , quoth the 〈◊〉 , for 〈◊〉 that goe ouer the bridge are well enough , it is onely those that fall beside : which are drowned : Whereto the Iustice said to the boyes father . Old man , thou 〈◊〉 brought in to false accusations against thy 〈◊〉 , for he neuer lost shéepe at one and thirty , nor were there euer any drowned that went ouer the bridge . ( 20 ) A Quiblet . A 〈◊〉 passing through a roome where a Woman was 〈◊〉 a buck of clothes , but hee thinking shée had béene 〈◊〉 , saw a dish , and dipped some small 〈◊〉 of the Lye , which he supposing to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , dranke vp , and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 , spt , 〈◊〉 , and spaule : the 〈◊〉 asked him 〈◊〉 hée 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 told her , and called her some 〈◊〉 names , saying , he had swallowed Lye , Nay then I cannot blame you to be angry , for you being a Souldier and a Captaine , it must 〈◊〉 trouble your stomake to swallow the Lye. ( 21 ) A Country fellow ( that had not walked much in stréets that were paued ) came to London , where a dog came 〈◊〉 out of a house , and furiously ran 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 stooped to take vp a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the Dogge , and finding them all 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 or paued in the ground ; 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 strange Country am I in , 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 tye vp the 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 let the dogs loose . ( 22 ) AN honest Mayor of a Towne , being all Mercy and no Iustice , louing ease and quietnesse , and vnwilling to commit any offence or offender , one said of him that hée was like the herbe Iohn in a pottag pot , for that herbe did not giue any taste at all either good or bad , but an excellent 〈◊〉 : so the Mayor did neither good nor harme , but ( as an image of a Mayors authority ) filled vp the roome . ( 23 ) A Iustice of the Peace , being angry with a pilfering Knaue , said , Sirrah , if thou dost not mend thy manners , thou wilt be shortly 〈◊〉 , or else I will bee hauged for thée . The bold knaue replyed , I thanke your worship for that kind offer , and I beséech your worship not to bee out of the way when I shall haue occasion so vse you . ( 24 ) CErtaine Iustices of the Peace being informed of the odious abuses daily committed by drunkennesse in their Iurisdictions , did according to their places and duties , méet at a market towne , and sate two dayes , hearing informations , and working reformations : at last they concluded that the Ale and Béere were too strong , and therefore commanded that from thence forth smaller drinke should bée brewed , whereby these vnruly people might sometimes goe to bed sober . But one mad tospot fellow being much grieued at this order , hauing made himselie half pot-shaken , without feare or wit came to the Iustices , and asked them if they had sate two dayes about the brewing of small drink : to whom one of the Iustices replyed , yes : Why then quoth the 〈◊〉 , I pray you sit thrée dayes more to know who shall drinke it , for I will none of it . ( 25 ) THere was a Scottish Gentleman that had sore eyes , who was counselled by his Physitians to forbeare drinking of wine : but hee said hee neither could nor would forbeare it , maintaining it for the lesser suill , to shut vp the windowes of his body , then to suffer 〈◊〉 house to fall downe , through want of reparations . ( 26 ) VPon the death of Queene Elizabeth , there was a Mayor of a Country Towne sitting in consultation with his Brethren : to whom hee grauely said , My Brethren and Neighours , I 〈◊〉 heare that the Quéene is dead , wherefore I thought it excéeding 〈◊〉 we should despaire to this place , that being dissembled together , we might consult of our estates , for I doubt 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 shalt haue another Queene or a King , and I stand in great feare that the people will be vnrude , so that wée shall bée in danger of strange Resurrection , ( 27 ) ANother Mayor that was on hunting , ( by chance ) one asked him how hée liked the Cry : a pox take the Doggs , saith he , they make such a bawling that I cannot heare the Cry. ( 28 ) AN old Iustice was fast a sléepe on the Bench when a 〈◊〉 Malefactor was iudged to bee hanged ; at which word the Iustice suddenly awaked , and said to the Théefe , My friend , I pray let this bee a warning to you , looke you doe so no more , for wee doe not show euery man the like fauour . ( 29 ) AN old Recorder of a City in this Land was busie with a Country Mayor , in the meane space they were interrupted by a fellow that was brought before him for killing of a man : my Lord asked the fellowes name , who answered , his name was Gilman . Said my Lord , take away G , and thy name is Ilman put K to it , thy name is Kilman , and put to Sp and thy name is Spilman , thou art halfe hang'd already ( as the prouerbe sayes : ) for thou hast au ill name , let a man vary it how he can . The Mayor all this while stood by musing at my Lords canuasing the mans name , and afterward being at home among his owne good people , hée had an offender brought before him for getting a Wench with child : Master Mayor asked him his name : the fellow said , if it please your worship my name is Iohnson . Then Master Mayor ( striuing to Imitate my Lord ) said , take away G and thy name is Ilman , put K to it , it is Kilman , put Sp to it , and thy name is Spilman , thou art a knaue , thou hast an ill name , and 〈◊〉 shalt bée hanged , &c. ( 30 ) A Quiblet . MAster Field the Player riding vp Fleetstreet , a great pace , a Gentleman called him , and asked him what play was playd that day : he ( being angry to be 〈◊〉 vpon so friuolous a demand ) answered , that he might see what play was to bée playd vpon euery Poste , I cry you mercy ( said the Gentleman ) I tooke you for a Poste , you road so fast ( 31 ) ONe being 〈◊〉 vexed with the spirit of iealousie , came suddenly into his house , and found a man ( whom he suspected ) some what too busie with his wife ; to whom he said , Now good fellow I thanke thée , for thou hast cured mee of a strange hellish torment ; my suspition is cleared , and apparent knowledge hath giuen mee such ease of heart , that I will be iealous no more . ( 32 ) A Skilfull Painter was requested to paint out a faire Courtezan ( in plaine English a Whore ) I pray you spare that 〈◊〉 , said the Painter , for if shee bee a right whore she daily paints her selfe . ( 33 SEigneur Valdrino ( pay-master to the Campe of Alphonsus King of Aragon ) a man exquisite in courtship and complement ; as two or thrée were at strife laying wagers what Countryman he was , a blunt bold Captaine asked what was the matter : why Captaine , said one , 〈◊〉 are laying a wager what Countryman my L. Treasurer Valdrino is : Oh said the Captaine , I can tell you that , I am sure he was borne in the land of Promise , for I haue serued the King in his 〈◊〉 these seuen yeers without pay , and euer when I petition to my Lord , he payes me with no coine but promises , which makes mee halfe assured that he is that countryman . ( 34 A Nobleman of France ( as he was riding ) met with a yeoman of the country , to whom he said , My friend I should know thée , I doe remember I haue often seene thée : My good Lord , said the Countryman , I am one of your Houors poore tenants , and my name is T. 1. I remember thée better now ( said my Lord ) there were 2 brothers of you , but one is dead , I pray which of you doth remaine aliue ? ( 35 ) THe 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 man hauing had a 〈◊〉 that was blind , play to him after supper 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 late , at last he arose , and commanded one of his seruants to light the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 : to whom the 〈◊〉 said my Lord , the Harper is blind : 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , quoth my Lord , he 〈◊〉 the more 〈◊〉 of light . ( 36 ) A Young fellow 〈◊〉 himselfe the richest 〈◊〉 in England : to whom his Mother 〈◊〉 very angerly , you foolish 〈◊〉 boy , why 〈◊〉 thou desire such a wish , hath not 〈◊〉 own Father enough in store for thee ? ( 37 ) A 〈◊〉 Rampant , made her husband a 〈◊〉 Dormant , with a front Cressant , surprised by the watch Guardant , brought to the Iustice 〈◊〉 , with her play-fellow 〈◊〉 , after a coursie Couchant ; the Iustice told her that her offence was haynous , in breaking the bonds of matrimony in that adulterate manner , and that she should consider that her husband was her Head : Good sir , quoth shee , I did euer acknowledge him so ; and I hope it is no such great fault in me , for I was but trimming , dressing , or 〈◊〉 my Head. ( 38 ) A Man being very sickely , one said to his wife , I maruell your husband doth not weare a night-cap . Truely ( quoth 〈◊〉 ) within this sixe monthes that my husband hath béen sicke , although his legs be shrunk , yet he hath outgrowne all his night-caps . ( 39 ) A 〈◊〉 , whose mother was noted to bee one not ouerloden with honesty , went to seeke his Godfather , and enquiring for him , quoth one to him , who is thy Godfather : the boy reply'd his name is goodman Digland the Gardiner : Oh said the man , if he be thy Godfather he is at the next Ale-house : but I feare thou takest Gods name in vaine . ( 40 ) A Scholler riding from Cambridge towards London , his horse being tyred , ( a lazy disease often befalling such hacknies ) met a Poste on the way , who notwithstanding he did what he could to make his horse giue him place , by 〈◊〉 , switch , and bridle , yet the Poste was 〈◊〉 to giue him the way : to whom ( in anger ) he said , Thou paltry fellow , dost thou not sée I am a Poste ? The Scholler straight replyed , And thou ignorant fellow , 〈◊〉 thou not sée that I ride vpon a Poste . ( 41 ) A Fellow hauing more drinke then wit , in a 〈◊〉 euening made a foolish vow to take the wall of as many as hée met betwixt the Temple-bar and Charing crosse , and comming néere the Sauoy , where stood a Poste a little distance from the wall : the drunkard tooke it for a man , and would haue the wall , beginning to quarrell and giue the Poste foule words : at which a man came by , and asked the matter , and whom he spake to : he answered hee would 〈◊〉 the wall of that fellow that stood so stifly there : my friend said the other , that is a Poste , you must giue him the way : Is it so , said the fellow , a 〈◊〉 vpon 〈◊〉 , why did he not blow his horne ? ( 42 ) A Saylor being on a tired horse , riding 〈◊〉 Douer to London , his company prayd him to ride faster : to whom hee answered , I can come no faster , 〈◊〉 you 〈◊〉 sée that I am be calm'd ? ( 43 ) TWo Gentlemen were 〈◊〉 , and one of them cast away the others hat ; but the other catcht his hat off , and put it on his owne head : now fie , fie , quoth tho other , thou spoylest my hat : wherewith said the other ? Marry ( said hee that was bareheaded ) thou spoy lest my hat with putting a Calues head into it . ( 44 ) The figure Conuersion . IF a Uintner doth draw me good wine vpon money or credit , then he is fitter to draw then hang : but if hée draw mee bad wine for good money , then he is much fitter to hang then to draw . ( 45 ) A Man hauing beene with a Doctor of Physicke to haue his aduise about 〈◊〉 griefe he had ; when he came home his wife asked him what newes ? Marry , said hee , my Physitian doth counsell mee to drinke Asses milke euery morning fasting : Why husband , quoth the Woman , I pray you tell me , doth master Doctor giue suck ? ( 46 ) A Braue and valiant Captaine , whom I could name , had a scarse giuen him here in England , and he sayling ouer into the Low Countries , an old 〈◊〉 Catholike Lady of his acquaintance , was very importunate to beg his scarfe of him : the Captaine asked her what shee would 〈◊〉 with it , and said , it was not fit for her wearing . She answered him , that if he would giue it her , that Iesus Christ should weare it in the Church vpon holy dayes , meanning the Image , Madam , said the Captaine , if you will bringe me word that euer his father wore such a scarfe , then I will giue you this for him . ( 47 ) BEtwéene the houres of twelue and 〈◊〉 at noone , one asked me what it was a clocke : I answered him , it was little or no thing . He demaunded of me what I 〈◊〉 by my answer ? I reply'd , that it being not one of the clocke , it was to bee reckned or counted for nought , for that which is lesser then one , is little or nothing . ( 48 ) A Gentlewoman cheapned a close 〈◊〉 in Pauls Church-yard , and the shopkéeper did aske her to much money for it , as she thought , Why mistris , said he , I pray you consider what a good locke and key it hath : Shée replyed , that shee had small vse for 〈◊〉 locke or key , for 〈◊〉 purposed to put nothing into it , but what 〈◊〉 cared not who stole out . ( 49 ) A Countrey woman at an Asses was to take her oath against a party ; the said party 〈◊〉 the Iudge that her 〈◊〉 might not be taken ; the Iudge demanded why hee excepted against 〈◊〉 my Lord ( quoth he ) shée is a Recusant or Romane Catholique , and they hold it no matter of conscience to sweare any thing against vs. Come hither woman , said the 〈◊〉 , I doe not thinke thou art a 〈◊〉 , I am perswaded that for forty shillings thou 〈◊〉 swear the Pope is a knaue : Good my Lord , said shee , the Pope is a stranger to me , but if I knew him as well as I know your Lordship , I would sweare for halfe the money . ( 50 ) A Cardinall kept a knauish foole for his recreation , to whom hee said , Sirrah foole , suppose that all the world were dead but thou and I , and that one of vs should be turned to a Horse , and the other of vs to an Asse , say which of these two wouldest thou choose to bee ? The foole answered , Sir , you are my master , and for that 〈◊〉 it is fit that your worship should choose first , and I will be contented to take that which you leaue . Why then said the Cardinall , I would be a horse : no said the foole , let me intreat your worship to be an Asse , for I would be an Asse to chuse of al things : why quoth the Cardinall ? marry , said the foole because that I haue knowne many Asses come to bee 〈◊〉 , but I néuer knew any horse come to the like 〈◊〉 . ( 51 ) A Graue discréet Gentleman hauing a comely wife , whose beauty and frée behauiour did 〈◊〉 her honesty into suspition , by whom he had a 〈◊〉 almost at mans estate , of very dissolute and wauton cariage : I muse , said one , that a man of such stayd and moderate grauity should haue a sonne of such a contrary and froward disposition . Sir , 〈◊〉 another , the reason is that his pate is stuffed with his mothers wit , that there is no roome for any of his fathers wisedome : besides the 〈◊〉 of her heeles is gotten into her sonnes braines . ( 52 ) A Rich Grasier dwelling 150 miles from Oxford , hauing a sonne that had seuen yeares beene a student there , at last sent for him home , to whom he said , Sonne I doe heare that you are well practised in the rudiments of learning , but that withall you are addicted to an idle veine of the poore and thréedbare art of Poetry ; which I charge thee to leaue and auoid , as thou 〈◊〉 my fauour . for my mind is not to haue thée liue beggerly , and dye poorely ; yet I will aske 〈◊〉 one Poetical question , which is . Wherefore thinkest thou that so beautifull a creature as Venus , was so besotted to match her selfe with so ill fauoured a knaue as Vulcan : In truth 〈◊〉 , quoth the young man , I can yéeld you no reason for it , but I wonder at it ; and yet I doe admire as much wherfore my mother maried with you . ( 53 ) A Man going with his Wife by a déepe riuer side , began to talke of Cockolds , and withall hee 〈◊〉 that euery Cuckold were cast into the riuer : to whom his wife replyes , husband I pray you learne to swimme . ( 54 ) A Man riding through a village with his dogge tunning by him , which dogges name was called Cuckold , leaping and frisking into euery house he past by where the 〈◊〉 was 〈◊〉 : whereupon the man being afraid his dog would bee lost , calls and whistles , here , here , Cuckold ; to whom an old woman said , whom dost thou miscall ? I would haue thée know that no cuckold doth dwell in this house . Good Woman , said the man , you mistake me , I doe call no body but my dog ; Now out vpon thée thou misbeléeuing kuaue , said shee , where learnedst thou that manners to call a dog by a christen bodies name . ( 55 ) A Lusty Miller that in his younger daies had béene much giuen to the flesh and the deuill ; so that not one pretty maid or female seruant did or could bring grist to his Mill to be grownd , but the knaue 〈◊〉 would doe his best to vndermine and blow vp their chastity , and withall hée would bargain with as many as his temptations ouercame , that at his day of mariage euery one of them should giue him a Cake . In processe of time the Miller was married , and those foresaid 〈◊〉 - hearted Wenches sent each one their cakes , to the number of 99. His wife the bride , who also went for a maid , did muse and aske what was the meaning of so many Cakes ? The miller told her the truth of all without any dissembling : to whom his wife answered , If I had beene so wise in bargaining as you haue beeue in your time , the young men of my acquaintance would haue sent me 100 cheeses to 〈◊〉 with your cakes . This bawdy Miller in a trap was catcht , Nor onely married , but most fitly matcht : In this the prouerb is approued plaine , What bread men breake is broke to them againe . ( 56 ) THere was a faire ship of two hundred tuns lying at the Tower wharfe at london , where a Conntryman passing by most earnestly looked on the said ship , and demanded how old she was : one made answer that she was a yeare old . Good Lord blesse me , said the Countryman , is shee so big 〈◊〉 in one yeare , what a greatnesse will she be by that time she comes to my age . This mans blind ignorance I may compare To Aquavitae giuen to a Mare : Let each man his owne calling then apply , Ne sutor vltra crepidam , say I. ( 57 TWelue Schollers riding together , one of them said , my masters let vs ride faster : Why , quoth another , me thinks we ride a good pace , 〈◊〉 warrant it is foure mile an houre . Alas said the first , what is foure mile an houre amongst all vs. Let not man boast of wit or learning deepe , For ignorance may out of knowledge creep A mongst 12 men 4 mile an houre to ride . He that hath wit to each his share diuide . ( 58 ) AN Apprentice in the market did aske the price of an hundred Oysters : his friend perswaded him not to buy them , for they were too small ; too small reply'd the Prentice , there is not much losse in that for I shall haue the more to the hundred . If vp the hill a measur'd mile it be , Then downe the hill's another mile , I see : A groat to pay , 4 pence will quit the cost . What 's won in t'hundred , in the shire is lost . ( 59 ) SIx Gentlemen riding together , were in doubt that they were out of their way , wherefore they rode a flight-shot to an old shepheard , one of them enquiring of him if that were the way to such a towne , and how far it was thither . Sir , quoth the Shepheard , that is the right way , and you haue six miles thither . Quoth one of the Gentlemen , What a lying old knaue art thou , it cannot bee aboue foure miles : the Shepheard replyde , Sir you offer like a chapman , and you shall haue it for foure miles , but I le assure you it shall cost euery one of these Gentlemen six miles before they come thither . Here rashnes did the Gallāts tongue oreslip , To whō the Shepheard gaue a pleasing nip : Thus softest fire doth make the sweetest Mault , And mild reproofes makes rashnesse see his fault . ( 60 ) A Man was very angry with his mayd , because his eggs were boyled too hard : truely , said she , I haue made them boyle a long houre , but the next you haue shall boyl 2 houres but they shall be tender enough . The boyling of this wenches eggs I find Much like vnto a greedy mizers mind : The egs the more they boyle are harder still The mizer's full , too full ; yet wants his fill . ( 61 ) TWo learned good . fellowes drinking a pipe of Tobacco , it being almost outthat he that drunke last did partly feele the ashes to come hot to his lippes ; giuing the pipe to his friende , said , Ashes to ashes : the other taking the pipe and ( being of a quick apprehension , threw it out to the dunghill saying , Earth to earth . Thus wit with wit agrees like cake & cheese Both sides are gainers , neither side doth lese 〈◊〉 begets conceit , iest , iest doth father And butter falne to 〈◊〉 , doth somthing gather , ( 62 ) ONe sayd a Citizen was a man all in earnest , and in no part like a iest , because the Citizen was neuer bad , or the iest neuer good till they were both broke , What 's one mans yea , may be anothers nay , The Sun doth soften wax , and harden clay : Some Citizens are like to iests , for why , They 'll breake in iest , or bankrupt policy . ( 63 ) A Gallant with a galloping wit , was mounted vpon a running horse toward a Towne named Tame , within ten miles of Oxford , and riding at full spéed , he met an old man , and asked him , Sirrah is this the way to Tame ? yes sir , he replyde , your Horse , I le warrant you , if he were as wild as the deuill . This is a ridle to a foole , me thinks , And seemes to want an Oedipus or Sphinx , But 〈◊〉 , in my booke I hold it fit , To find you lines , your selfe must find you wit. ( 64 ) A Complementall Courtier that in his French , Italian , and Spanish cringes , 〈◊〉 , and curtelies , would bend his body , and bow euery way like a tumbler , a Mercere seruant espying his marmositicall 〈◊〉 , said , Oh if my master could haue bowed but halfe so much ; I am certainly perswaded that he had neuer broke . Too much of one thing oft proues good for nothing , And dainties in satiety , breeds loathing : Th'ones flattery mingled with the others pride , Had seru'd them both , both might line long vnspide . ( 65 ) I My selfe gaue a booke to King Iames once in the great Chamber at Whitehall as his Maiesty came from the Chappell , the Duke of Richmond said merrily vnto me , Taylor where did you learne the manners to giue the King a book and not knéel ? My Lord , said I , if it please your Grace , I doe giue now , but when I beg any thing then I will kneele . Be it to all men by these presents knowne , Men need not kneel to giue away there own I le stand vpon my feet when as I giue , And kneele when as I beg more meanes to liue , But some by this may vnderstand . That Courtiers 〈◊〉 kneele then stand . ( 66 ) THe trayned souldiers of a certaine Shire which I could name , to the number of 6000 , as they were mnstring and drilling vnder their seuerall captaine , a yeomans sonne being there as a raw soldier in his corslet , his father standing by said , I vaith it does me much good at harte to zee how trim a vellow my zonne is in his hardnesse . The young fellow hearing his fathers commendations of him , began very desperately to shake his pike , and looking exceeding grim , with a 〈◊〉 horrible terrible countenance , said , O vather , chad lather nor a groat that all wee had but one Spainard here . One Spainard mongst 6000 , pitty t' were , Better ten thousand Britains bold were ther Led by braue Leaders , that might make Spain e quake , Like Vere , or Morgan , Essex , Blunt , or Drake . ( 67 ) ONe said that he could neuer haue his health in Cambridge , and that 〈◊〉 hee had liued there till this time , he thought in his conscience that hee had dyed 7 yeares agoe . I will not say the man that spake so lyed , Seuē years ago , no doubt , he might haue di'd He by his trade perhaps might be a dyer , And daily dy'd to liue , and bin no lyer . ( 68 ) A Country fellow was much grieued that hée had not gone seuen miles to a market towne to haue seene the 〈◊〉 : Why , said his wife , it is too far to goe and come in a day to sée such bables , especially t is too great a iourney on foot . O quoth hee , I could haue gone thither with my neigbour Hobson on foot , like a foole as I was , and I might haue rid backe vpon my neghbour Iobsons mare , like an asse as I am . Thus in the preter tense a foole he was , And in the present tense he is an Asse ; And in the future , foole and asse shall be , That goes or rides so far such sights to see . ( 69 ) THere was a 〈◊〉 young Scholler preferred to a 〈◊〉 in the Country , and commonly on Sundayes and holydaies after euening prayer he would haue a dozen bouts at 〈◊〉 with the 〈◊〉 youths in his parish : The Bishop of the Diocesse hearing of it , sent for the parson , telling him that this beséemed not his profession and grauity , and if that hee did not desist from that 〈◊〉 kind of exercise , he would vnbenefice him ; Good my Lord , sayd the person ) I beséech you to conceiue rightly of me , and I doubt not but my playing 〈◊〉 will be accounted tollerable , for I doe it 〈◊〉 purpose to 〈◊〉 the ruder sort of my people : How so , said the Bishop ; Marry my Lord ( quoth the Parson ) whatsoeuer I doe teach them at morning and euening prayer , I doe heat soundly into their 〈◊〉 at cudgels afterward , for their better remembrance . I wish that all the Fencers in our nation , Were onely of this Parsons congregation : That he his life and doctrine should explain By beating them , whilst they beat him againe . ( 70 ) A Iudge vpon the Bench did aske an old man how old he was : My Lord , said he , I am eight and fourescore : And why not fourescore and eight , said the Iudge : the other replyde , because I was eight before I was fourescore . Eight's before eighty , all men may descry , Yet we name eighty first , contrarily : Pull off my Boots and Spurs , I you beseech . when Spurs & Boots is rather 〈◊〉 speech ( 71 ) A Fellow made his boast that hee rode 220 miles with one horse and neuer drew bit : that may be quoth another ) perhaps you rid him with a halter . The prouerb saies , he that will swear wil lie , He that will lye will steale by consequency : Swearers are lyers , lyars most are theeues , Or God helpe Iaylors , & true Vndershrieues . ( 72 ONe saw a decayed Gentleman in a very thréed bare cloake , sayd to him , Sir you haue a very watchfull cloake on : Why said the poore Gentleman the other answered , I doe not 〈◊〉 it had a good nap this seuen yeares : the Gentleman replyed , and truly sir me thinkes you want a nap as well as my cloke , for you talke idlely for want of sleepe . The Prodigall at Pouerty doth scoffe , Though from his backe the begger 's not farre off , Here flout with flout , and bob with bob is quitted , And proud vainglorions folly finely fitted ( 73 ) A Diligent and learned Preacher on a 〈◊〉 in the afternoone was preaching , whilst most of the zealous 〈◊〉 men ( for their meaner edification ) were fast a 〈◊〉 in 〈◊〉 pues : in the meane space a young childe cryed somewhat aloud at the lower end of the church , which the Preacher hearing , called to the Nurse , and said , Nurse , I pray thée still thy childe , or else it may chance to awaken some of the best men in our parish . Men sleepe at Sermons , sure their braines are adle , Sly Satan lulls them , and doth rocke the cradle : When men thus doe no ill , t is vnderstood , The deuill hinders them from doing good . ( 74 ) A Chorister or singing man at seruice in a Cathedrall Church , was fast asleepe when all his fellowes were singing , which the Deane espying , sent a boy to him to waken him , and aske him why he did not sing ? he being suddenly awaked , prayed the boy to thanke master Deane for his kind remembrance , and to tell him that he was as merry as those that did sing . They say he 's wise that can himselfe keepe warme , And that the man that sleepes well thinkes no harme , He sung not , yet was in a merry 〈◊〉 , Like Iohn Indifferent , did not harme nor good . ( 75 ) A Kind of clownish gentleman had halfe a Brawne sent him against Christmas , he very illiberally gaue the Seruing man halfe a shilling that brought it : the Seringman gaue the Porter that carried it eight pence before the 〈◊〉 face . 〈◊〉 , said he , are you so prodigall to reward the Porter with eight pence , when I giue you but sixe pence , thou bearest the mind of a prodigall Gallant , although by thy foot thou seemest 〈◊〉 clowne : Good sir , said the fellow , I confesse I haue a very clownish lubberly payre of féet , but yet I am perswaded that a payre of your worships shooes would fit them well . Here 's Bore and Brawn together are wel met He knew that giuing was no way to get , The world gets somwhat 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 , When as the 〈◊〉 gets the deuill and all . ( 76 ) A Griping extortiouer that had béene a maker of beggers for the space of forty yeares , and by raising rents and oppression , had vndone many families , 〈◊〉 on a time in anger to a poore fellow that had 〈◊〉 a 〈◊〉 of his , 〈◊〉 villane , 〈◊〉 thou rob me , I vow and sweare there is not so damned a rogue in the world as thou : to 〈◊〉 the fellow answered , I beséech your good worship remember your selfe , and be good to mee for Gods sake , and for your owne sake . This Rascals eye is with a beame so blind , That in the poore mans he a moat can find : The wolfe himself , a temperate feeder deems And euery man too much himselfe esteems . ( 77 ) A Seruingman and his mistris was landing at the Whitefryars stayers , the stayers being very bad , a waterman offered to helpe the woman , saying . Giue me your hand Gentlewoman I le help you : to whom her man replyed , you 〈◊〉 fellow place your words right , my mistris is 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , she is a Lady . All is not gold ( they say ) that glisters bright Snow is not suger , though it look as white : And t is approued to be true and common , That euery Lady 's not a Gentlewoman . ( 78 ) A Seruingman going in hast in London , ( minding his 〈◊〉 more then his way ) a Gallant iustled him from the wall almost into the kennell : the fellow turned about , and asked the Gentleman why he did tustle him so ? the Gentleman said , Because he would not giue the wall to asawcy knaue . The Seruingman replyed , your worship is not of my mind , for I will. Here Pride that takes Humility in snuffe , Is well encountred with a couuterbuffe : One would not giue the wall vnto a Knaue , The other would , and him the wall he gaue . ( 79 ) A Iustice of the Peace was very angry with a country 〈◊〉 because 〈◊〉 came not to him at 〈◊〉 sending for him ; and after hee had 〈◊〉 bestowed two or thrée dozen of knaues vpon him , hee sayd to him ; Sirrah , I will make you know that the proudest saucy 〈◊〉 that dwels vnder my command shall come before we when I send for him . I beseech your worship , said the man , to pardon me , for 〈◊〉 was afraid : afraid of what , said the Iustice ? of your worship , answered , the fellow . Of mée , said the 〈◊〉 ? why wast thou afraid of ma ? Because your worship lookes so like a Lyon , sayd the man : a Lyon quoth the Iustice ? when didst thou sée a Lyon ? may it please your worship ( the fellow replyde ) I saw a Butcher bring one but yesterday to 〈◊〉 market , with a white face , and his foure legs bound . This fellow was a knaue , or foole , or both , Or else his wit was of but slender growth : He gaue the whitfac'd Calfe the Lyons stile the Iustice was a proper man the while . ( 80 ) DIuers Gentlemen being merry together , at last one of their accquaintance came to them ( whose name was Sampson ) A ha , said one of them , 〈◊〉 may be securely merry , no Sergant or Bailiffe dare touch vs , for if a thousand Philistims come , here is Sampson , who is able to brain them all : to whom Shampson replyde . Sir I may boldly venture against so many as you speake of , prouided , that you will lend me one of your Iaw-bones . ( 81 ) TWo Playsterers being at worke for me at my 〈◊〉 in Southwarke , did many times patch or dawbe out part of their dayes lobour with prating , which I being digging in my garden did ouerheare , that their chat was of their wiues , and how that if I were able ( quoth one ) my wife shoule ride in pompe through London , as I saw a Countesse ride yesterday : why quoth the other , how did she ride I pray ? Marry , said he , in state , in her horslitter : O base , quoth the other , Horslitter , I protest as poore a man as I am , I would haue allowed my wife a thréepeny trust of clean straw : ( 82 ) SIr Edward Dier came to the Tower on some businesse iust at the time as the Gate was newly shut , and the Warders going away with the keyes , hee looking through the gate called to one of them , saying , Hoe fellow , I pray thée open the gate and let me in : None of your fellow Sir but a poore Knaue : Why then said Sir , Edward , I pray thée poore Knaue let mee in : nay no knaue neither , quoth the 〈◊〉 . Why then said the knight , hee was a knaue that told me so . ( 83 ) ONe met his friend in the street , and told him he was very sory to see him looke so ill , asking him what he ailed : hee replyed , that hee was now well amended , but he had beene lately 〈◊〉 of the Pox : What pox , the small Pox , said his friend ? Nay , quoth the other , my mind was not so base ; for I had the 〈◊〉 Pox that I could get for my money . ( 84 ) AN honest Hostesse of mine at Oxford rosted an old shoulder of a 〈◊〉 , which in the eating was as tongh as a Buffe Ierkin : I did aske her what the reason was that the mutton was so tough : Shee said she 〈◊〉 not , except the Butcher deceiued her in the age of it , and she would tell him on both sides of his 〈◊〉 , like a knaue as he was : Nay , quoth I , I thinke there is 〈◊〉 fault in it which will excuse the Butcher , for perhaps you 〈◊〉 it with old wood : in troth quoth mine hostesse it is like enough , and my husband neuer doth other wayes , but buy old 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 which makes all the meat we either roast or boyle , so exceeding tough that no body can eate it . ( 85 ) ONe hearing a clock strike thrée when he thought it was not two , sayd , this Clocke is like an hypocricicall Puritane , for though he will not sweare , yet hee will lye abominably . ( 86 ) 〈◊〉 Tarleton said that hee could compare Queene Elizabeth to nothing more fittly then to a Sculler , for said hee , neither the Queene nor the Sculler hath a fellow . ( 87 ) TWo obstinate rich fellowes in Law ( that had each of them more mouey then wit ) by chance one of them comming out of Westminster Hall met with his aduersaries wife , to whom he sayd , in troth good woman I doe much pitty your case , in that it is your hard fortune that such a foole as your husband should haue so discréet and modest a wife . The woman reply'd , In truth Sir I doe grieue more that so 〈◊〉 a wife as you haue , should haue such a wrangling knaue to her husband . ( 88 ) A Poore labouring man was maried and natched to a creature that so much vsed 〈◊〉 scold waking , that she had much adoe to refrain it sleeping , so that the poore man was so batterfang'd and belabour'd with tongue mettle , that hee was weary of his life : at last foure or fiue woman that were his neighbours ( pittying his case ) came in his absence to his house to admonish and connsell his wife to a quiet behauiour towards her husband ; telling her that shee was a shame to all good woman , in her bad vsage of so honest a painfull man : the woman replyed to her neighbours , that shee thought her husband did not 〈◊〉 her which was partly the cause that shee was so froward towards him ; why ( said an old woman ) I will shew thée how thou shalt proue that he loues thee dearely ; doe thou counterfeit thy selfe dead and lye vnder the table . and one of vs will fetch thy husband , and he shall find vs heauy and grieuing for thée ; by which meanes thou shalt perceiue by his lamentation for thée how much hée loues thée : this counsell was al lowed and effected ; when the poore man came home , be hearing the matter ( being much opprest with griefe ) can vnder the table bemouing the happy losse of his most 〈◊〉 vexation , and making as though hee would kisse her , with a most louing embrace , to make all sure , he brake her necke . The 〈◊〉 pittying the mans extream passion , in compassion told him that his wife was not dead , and that all this was done but to make a triall of his loue towards her : whereupon they called her by her name , bidding her to rise , and that shee had fooled it enough with her husband : but for all their calling , shee lay still , which made one of the women to shake and iogge her , at which the woman cryed , alas she is dead indeed : why this it is quoth her husband to dissemble and 〈◊〉 with God and the world . ( 90 ) A Pantler of a Colledge in Oxford possessing some crums of Logicke and chippings of 〈◊〉 , making distribution of bread at the Schollers table , one of the Schollers , complained vnto 〈◊〉 that the bread was dow baked : Why , quoth he , so it should be , what else is the definition of bread but dough baked ? ( 91 ) A Miserable fellow in the country , did once a yeare vse to inuite his neighbours to dinner , and as they were one time sate , hee bad them welcome , saying , that there was a surloine of beefe , that the oxe it came from cost 20 pound and that there was a Capon that hee payd 2 〈◊〉 6 pence for in the market : at which a country yeoman sitting against the Capon 〈◊〉 to and cut off a leg of it , ( the 〈◊〉 of the guests being not yet past their roast beefe ) to whom the man of the house said , My friend , I pray thee eate some of this same surloyne : 〈◊〉 sir , God forbide , quoth the fellow , I am but a poore man , an oxe of 20 pound price is too deare meat , a Capon of halfe a crowne will serue my turne well enough , I thanke you . ( 92 ) A Rich man told his nephew , that he had read a booke called Lucius Apuleius , of the Golden 〈◊〉 and that hee found there how Apuleius after hee had beene an asse many yeares , by eating of 〈◊〉 he did recouer his manly shape againe , and was no more an asse : the young man replyed to his vncle , Sir , if I were worthy to aduise you , I would giue you counsell to eate a sallad of Roses once a weeke your selfe . ( 93 ) A 〈◊〉 hauing beene maried but 〈◊〉 weekes , perceiued his wife to bée great with childe , wherefore shee 〈◊〉 him to 〈◊〉 a Cradle : shortly after he went to a Faire and bought ten cradles , and being demanded why hee bought so many , hee answered , that his wife would 〈◊〉 vse for them all in one yeare . ( 94 ) A Gentleman vntrust and vnbuttoned in a cold winter morning , a friend of his told him that it was not for his health to goe so open in the raw weather , and that he mused it did not kill him to goe so oft vntrust : to whom the other replyed , Sir , you are of the mind of my Silceman , Mercer , or Taylor , for they find fault as you do because I goe so much on trust , but it is a fault I haue naturally from my parents and kindred , and my creditors tell me that I doe imitate my betters . ( 95 ) A 〈◊〉 of the peace committed a fellow to prison , and commanded him away three or foure times , but still the fellow entreated him . Sirrah ( 〈◊〉 the Iustice ) must I bid you bee gone 〈◊〉 many times , and will you not goe ? The fellow answered , Sir , if your worship had 〈◊〉 me to dinner or supper , I should in my poore manners not to haue taken your offer vnder two or thrée biddings , therefore I pray you blame me not if I looke for foure biddings to prison . ( 96 ) A Great man kept a miserable house , so that his seruants did alwayes rise from the table with empty panches , though cleane licked platters : truly , said one of his men , I thinke my Lord will worke miracles shortly , for though he practise not to raise the dead , or dispossesse 〈◊〉 deuill ; yet he goes about to feed his great family with almost nothing . ( 97 ) ONe said that Bias the Philosopher was the first Bowler ; and that euer since the most part of Bowles doe in memory of their orginall , weare his badge of remambrance , and very dutifull 〈◊〉 Bias. Now to tell you , this Bias was one of the seuen Sages or wise men of Greece . My authors to proue him the inuenter 〈◊〉 Bowling , are Shamrooke , a famous 〈◊〉 Gimnosophist in his 9 booke of 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 ; of which opinion Balductus the Theban 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to bee in his third treatise of court performances : the likliest coniecture is , that it was denised as an embleme to figure out the worlds folly and inconstancie ; for though a child will ride a 〈◊〉 or staffe with an imagination that he is on horsebacke ; or make pyes of dirt or 〈◊〉 of cards , féed with 〈◊〉 spoones , and cry for 〈◊〉 péeces of bread and 〈◊〉 , which childish 〈◊〉 are ridiculous to a man : yet this wise game of Bowling doth make the fathers surpasse their children , in 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and niost delicate dogtrickes . As first for the postures , 1 handle your Bowle : 2 adnance your Bowle : 3 charge your Bowle : 4 ayme your Bowle : 5 discharge your Bowle : 6 plye your Bowle : in which last posture of plying your 〈◊〉 , you shall perceiue many varieties and diuisions , as wringing of the necke , lifting vp of the shoulder , clapping of the hands , lying downe on one side , running after the Bowle , making long 〈◊〉 scrapes and legs ( sometimes bare-headed ) entreating him to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ( with pox on 't when t is too short : ) and though the bowler be a Gentleman , 〈◊〉 there hee may méet with attendant 〈◊〉 , that sometimes will be his 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to foure , by his 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 what house hée came ; 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , because he being 〈◊〉 and gotten into some handsome shape , forgets the house he came of , suffering his betters to giue him the often salute whilest hee like 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 neither 〈◊〉 himselfe , nor will know his superiors . But I hold a mistresse to be the fittest name for it , for there are some that are commonly tearmed 〈◊〉 , which are not much better then mine aunts : and a 〈◊〉 is oftentimes a marke for euery knaue to haue a 〈◊〉 at , euery one striues to come so néere her that he would kisse 〈◊〉 : and yet some are short , some wide , and some ouer , and who so doth kisse , it may perhaps swéeten his lips , but I assure him it shall neuer fill his belly , but rather empty his purse . So much for bowling : that I feare me I haue bowled 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 . ( 98 ) A Minister riding into the west parts of England , happened to stay at a village on a Sunday , where hee offered kindly to bestow a sermon vpon them : which the Constable hearing , did aske the 〈◊〉 if he were licenced to preach , yēs quoth he that I am , and with that hée drew out of a box his 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 was in Latine , truly said the Constable I vnderstand no Latine , yet I pray you let me 〈◊〉 it , I perhaps shall picke out here and there a word : No good sir , 〈◊〉 the Minister . I will haue no words 〈◊〉 out of it , for spoyling my Licence . ( 99 ) A Clinch . A Country man being demanded how such a Riuer was called , that ranne through their Country : he answered that they neuer had 〈◊〉 to call the Riuer , for it alwayes came without calling . ( 100 ) A Fellow hauing his booke at the Sessions , was burnt in the hand , and was commanded to say God saue the King : the King , said he , God saue my Grandam , that taught me to reade , I am sure I had 〈◊〉 hanged else . ( 101 ) A toy to mocke an Ape . IN Quéene Elizabeths 〈◊〉 there 〈◊〉 a fellow that 〈◊〉 a 〈◊〉 in his hat , like a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , with a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and two letters : this 〈◊〉 had a 〈◊〉 from the Lord 〈◊〉 at that 〈◊〉 to trauell with an 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 which he 〈◊〉 ; whereby hee 〈◊〉 his 〈◊〉 from time to time at markets and 〈◊〉 : his Ape 〈◊〉 alwayes 〈◊〉 vpon a 〈◊〉 dog and a man with a 〈◊〉 to attend 〈◊〉 . It happened that these foure 〈◊〉 came to a 〈◊〉 called Looe in Corwall , where the 〈◊〉 being taken , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 went about to 〈◊〉 to the people , that at such an 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 an Ape of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and quality , if 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 their time and 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 him : 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , and other 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 either 〈◊〉 or 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Ape-tricks , so that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to the 〈◊〉 , to the great 〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉 an Apes 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 : 〈◊〉 collecting 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 vpon the 〈◊〉 , whatsoeuer came of it ; 〈◊〉 he 〈◊〉 pen , inke , and 〈◊〉 , and 〈◊〉 a warrant to the Mayor of the towne , as 〈◊〉 . These are two will and require you , and euery of you , with your wiues and families , that vpon the sight hereof you make your personall appearance before the Queenes Ape , for it is an Ape of ranke and quality , who is to be practised through her Maiesties 〈◊〉 , that by his long expetience amongst her louing subiects , he may be the better enabled to doe her Maiesty seruice hereafter ; and hereof fayle you not , as you will answere the contrary . &c. This Warrant being brought to the Mayor , he sent for a 〈◊〉 at the 〈◊〉 end of the 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 it : which when he heard , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 all his 〈◊〉 , who went with him to the towne 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 vpon this 〈◊〉 busines . 〈◊〉 after they 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a 〈◊〉 of an houre , no man 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 any man knowing 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 : at 〈◊〉 a young man that neuer 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , said , Gentlemen , it 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 speake , I think ( without 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ) 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 this 〈◊〉 ; to 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 said , I pray good 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 though you neuer did 〈◊〉 any 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , yet 〈◊〉 may speake as 〈◊〉 as some of 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , said the young man , my 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that this Apecarier is a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , and one that doth purpose to make this 〈◊〉 a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 through the whole Kingdome : for , was it euer knowne that a fellow should be so impudent 〈◊〉 as to send a Warrant without either name or date , to a Mayor of a town , to the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , and that he with his 〈◊〉 , their 〈◊〉 and families , should be all commanded to come before a I'ack-an-apes ? My counsell is that 〈◊〉 take him and his Ape , with his man , and his dog , and 〈◊〉 the whole messe or 〈◊〉 of them out of the towne , which I thinke will 〈◊〉 much for your credit if you doe . At which words a 〈◊〉 man of the towne being much 〈◊〉 , said , My friend you haue spoken little better then treason , for it is the Quéenes Ape , and therefore beware what you say ; you say true , said master Mayor , I 〈◊〉 who 〈◊〉 that 〈◊〉 fellow come into our company , I pray thée my friend depart , I thinke you long to haue 〈◊〉 all 〈◊〉 . So in 〈◊〉 hee was put out of the 〈◊〉 , for they were no company for him . Well now what is to bée done in this matter ? 〈◊〉 ( said another Senior ) we sée by the 〈◊〉 in the 〈◊〉 hat that he is the 〈◊〉 man , and who knowes what power a 〈◊〉 may haue in the Court to doe 〈◊〉 men wrong in the Country , let vs goe and 〈◊〉 the Ape , it is but 2 〈◊〉 a péece , and no doubt but 〈◊〉 wil be well taken , and if it come to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ; 〈◊〉 will thinke vs kind people that would 〈◊〉 so much duty to her Ape , what may she thinke we would doe to her 〈◊〉 if they came 〈◊〉 ? 〈◊〉 it is aboue 200 miles to London , and if we should be complained on 〈◊〉 fetched 〈◊〉 with 〈◊〉 , whereas now euery man may escape for his 2 pence , 〈◊〉 warrant it would cost vs 10 〈◊〉 a peece at the least . This counsell passed currant , and all the whole droue of the townsmen , with 〈◊〉 and children , went to see the Ape , who was sitting on a table with a 〈◊〉 about his neck , to whom master Mayor ( because it was the 〈◊〉 Ape ) put off his hat , & made a leg , but Iack let him 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . But mistris 〈◊〉 cōming next in her clean linnen held her hands before her belly , and like a womā of good bréeding made a low curtsie , 〈◊〉 , quoth he . I thinke shee bee in a presumption : a consumption thou wouldst say , said the Physitian : I told you before ( the fellow replyed ) that I doe not vnderstand your allegant spéeches : Well , quoth the Doctor , doth thy wife kéepe her bed ? No , truly sir , said he , she sold her bed a fortnight since : verily quoth the Doctor shée is very costiue : Costly said the man , your Worship sayes true , for I haue spent all that I haue vpon her almost . Said the Doctor , I doe not say costly but costiue : and I pray thee tell me , is she loose or bound ? Indeed sir , said the man , she is bound to me during her life , and I am bound to her : yea but I pray thée , said the Doctor , tell me in plaine termes how she goes to stoole ? truly , said the fellow , in plaine termes shee goes to stoole very strangely , for in the morning it is so hard that your Worship can scarce bite it with your téeth , and at night it is so thin that you might eat it with a spoone . ( 103 ) GOod fellowes hauing well washed their 〈◊〉 in wine at a 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 of them was very 〈◊〉 to be gone ; to whom another of them said , I pray thée be pàtient , talke no more of going , for 〈◊〉 thou wilt 〈◊〉 still but a little , thou shalt 〈◊〉 that we shall all be gone , though 〈◊〉 stay here . ( 104 ) AN 〈◊〉 who dwelt with a rich 〈◊〉 he had , was by a Courtier begged for a foole , 〈◊〉 the foole perceiuing 〈◊〉 home to his vncles Parlour which was fairly hung with 〈◊〉 hangings , and in euery one of the hangings was the 〈◊〉 of a foole wrought : So the Foole watching his opportunty that no body was in the parlour , he tooke a knife and cut the fooles pictures out of euery hanging and went and 〈◊〉 them in a hay 〈◊〉 , which when his vncle came in 〈◊〉 saw , be was very angry , demanded who had spoiled his hangings ? 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , said the Ideot , I did cut out all the fooles , for there is a great man at Court that hath begged mée for a foole , and hée would haue all 〈◊〉 rich 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 can heare of , therefore did I 〈◊〉 the in all out of your 〈◊〉 , and I 〈◊〉 did 〈◊〉 where I thinke he will not 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 in 〈◊〉 . ( 105 ) A 〈◊〉 being scoulded at by his Wife would make her 〈◊〉 hee would 〈◊〉 himselfe : and as he went toward the 〈◊〉 , his Wife followed him 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 , or at the least to let her 〈◊〉 with him ; 〈◊〉 , quoth hee , speake 〈◊〉 , for I am in 〈◊〉 ; then husband 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , séeing you will drowne your selfe 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 you to take my counsell , which is , that you 〈◊〉 not your selfe into this 〈◊〉 place here , for it will 〈◊〉 my heart to sée 〈◊〉 long you will 〈◊〉 a dying : but 〈◊〉 with me a little way , and I will 〈◊〉 you a déepe place , where you 〈◊〉 be dispatched presently . ( 106 ) A 〈◊〉 in Scotland lay dying , to 〈◊〉 her husband said , Wife now 〈◊〉 art 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 leaue me alone , I pray 〈◊〉 tell 〈◊〉 with 〈◊〉 shall I marry . She replyed , are you in 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the breath 〈◊〉 out of my 〈◊〉 , then 〈◊〉 the deuils dam : not 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , I haue had his daughter already , and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 should match with his 〈◊〉 too , 〈◊〉 I should 〈◊〉 guiltie of 〈◊〉 . ( 107 THere was a Gentleman that was of a very 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , so 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 at all things , and 〈◊〉 seldome pleased with any 〈◊〉 , and withall was a great 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 : and as 〈◊〉 time he beat and 〈◊〉 his man , the 〈◊〉 ran from him , and told one of his 〈◊〉 that he thought his master was 〈◊〉 med into Brawne , for he was all Choller , and that he thought the reason 〈◊〉 his kicking was , because hee 〈◊〉 Colts-foot 〈◊〉 mong his Tobacco . ( 108 ) A Doctor of 〈◊〉 in Italy asked a waterman if he might 〈◊〉 well by water ouer the 〈◊〉 Po , the fellow told him 〈◊〉 but the Doctor when he came to the water side and saw it was a little 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , was very angry , and said , You Watermen are the veriest 〈◊〉 in the world for 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 you care not to cast a man 〈◊〉 ; to whom the Waterman replyed , Sir it appeares we are men of a cheaper function and better conscience then you ; for you sometimes will not cast a man away vnder 40 , 50 , or 100 crownes . ( 109 ) ONe borrowed a cloack of a gentleman , and met one that knew him , who said I thinke I know that cloake : it may be so , said the other , I borrowed it of such a gentleman : the other told him that it was too short : yea but quoth he that had the cloake , I will haue it long enougth before I bring it home a gaine . ( 110 ) A Poore womans husband was to bee hanged at the towne of Lancaster and on the excution day 〈◊〉 entreated the 〈◊〉 to bée good to her 〈◊〉 stand her friend : the 〈◊〉 said that hee could doe her no hurt , for her husband was condemned and iudged by the law , and therefore 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 suffer . Ah good master Shrieue said the woman , it is not his life that I aske , but because I haue farre home , and my mare is old and stiffe , therfore I would entreat you to doe me the fauour to let my husband be hanged first . ( 111 ONe came into a Colledge in an Uniuersity , and asked how many Fellowes belonged to the house : another replyed , that there were more good fellowes then good 〈◊〉 two to one . ( 112 ( A Fellow being drunke was brought before a Iustice , who committed him to 〈◊〉 : and the next day when he was to be discharged he was to come to the Iustice againe , who said to him , Sirrah you were not 〈◊〉 the last night : 〈◊〉 Worship sayes true , said the fellow . Yea but you were drunke , said the Iustice , and you did abuse me , and said I was a wise Iustice : the fellow replyed , If I said 〈◊〉 I thinke I was drunke indéed , and I cry your Worship mercy , for I will neuer doe you that wrong when I am sober . ( 113 ) A 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 eye chanced to 〈◊〉 a man in the field , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 hath 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , the other man 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 , whereat the 〈◊〉 man suddenly cast downe his Rapier 〈◊〉 Buenas noches , which in the Spanish tongue is goodnight . FINIS 
A13521	----	The water-cormorant his complaint against a brood of land-cormorants. Diuided into fourteene satyres. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1622 Approx. 77 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 23 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13521 STC 23813 ESTC S100674 99836504 99836504 782 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13521) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 782) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1560:10) The water-cormorant his complaint against a brood of land-cormorants. Diuided into fourteene satyres. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [46] p. Printed by George Eld, London : 1622. Signatures: A-F⁴ (-A1). With title vignette. In verse. Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE WATER-CORMORANT HIS COMPLAINT : Against a Brood of Land-Cormorants . Diuided into fourteene Satyres . By IOHN TAYLOR . 1 A Iesuite . 2 A Separatist . A Trust-breaker . A Drunkard . A prodigall Gallant . An Extortioner & broker A Basket-Iustice . A Cutpurse . A good & bad Constable A Serieant & Iailor . A Patron & his Clark. A Country-Yeoman . A Figure-flinger . A Lawyer , & Vndershriefe My Cormorant against these doth inuey , And proues himself much better far then they LONDON , Printed by GEORGE ELD . 1622. To Gentlemen , and those that are gentle . SVbiects may seeme scarce , or Printers lacke worke , when a Cormorant flies into the Presse , yet Cormorants oppresse and therefore worthy to be prest ; but my Cormorant hath neither dipt his tongue in oile to smooth the faults of the vicious , nor stop'd his mouth to conceale the merits of the vertuous : I haue thought good to sympathize a subiect fit for the time , and I haue done my best to handle it in a sutable straine . The Cormorant is not easily induced to affability , nor I to flattery . His best seruice is harsh and vnsociable , so is my style . His biting is sharpe and piercing , so is my phrase . His throat is wide and spacious , my subiect is spacious . His colour is blacke , I discouer deeds of darknesse . He grubs and spuddles for his prey in muddy holes and obscure cauerns , my Muse ferrits base debaushed wretches in their swinish dens . He like the Crocodile moues the vpper chap , this Treatise condemnes that beasts dissimulation . He swallows downe his meate without taste , this booke distastes such as sinne without touch of conscience . The ods is , my Cormorants appetite is limited , but most of theirs is vnsatiable . I ayme not at such mens slips as may fall by infirmity , for that were like Esops crab , to offer to teach others to goe right , going crooked my selfe . Detraction is a priuate wounding of a mans name , and flattery a deuourer of men aliue . If I can sayle betwixt these two , and not be split , I shall ariue at my desired port . In my passage I shall haue Polipheme casting Rockes to sincke me , Criticks misconstruing my words , like spiders sucking poyson out of wholesome flowers . But from these Antipodes to goodnesse , by their Antithesis to nature , I appeale to my conscience which is a witnesse to me that can neither accuse or condemne me . I ayme at none but such as deuoure others , and yet make shift to keepe themselues out of the reach of law , I name none personally , and therefore wish the faulty to amend with silence rather then by rubbing of a spot to make a hole in the whole cloath , for I leaue gleanings enough to make a second part if need require . Such stomacks as cannot digest this dish , let me rather be to them a choake peare then a Gudgeon . There is no degree of man or woman , whatsoeuer , from the Court to the Cottage , or from the Pallace to the Plough , but may make good vse of this Poem , either for merry recreation , or vices defamation : and in a word , if it please the iudicious , or be any way profitable to the confirming of the good , or reforming the bad , I have then my full recompence , with the effect of my intentions and wishes . Iohn Taylor . A brood of CORMORANTS . A Jesuite . THE ARGVMENT . King-killing monsters , out of Heauens mouth flow'd . Ca●ers , and Butchers vnto Rome and Hell : The bane of youth and age , in bloud imbrow'd : Perditions gulfe , where all foule Treasons dwell . 〈◊〉 , liues , and soules vnder the sauing stile Of Iesus , they deuour , confound , beguile . IN setting downe this sect of blood compact , Me thinkes I see a tragicke Sceane in act : The Stage all hang'd with the sad death of Kings , From whose bewailing story sorrow springs ; The Actors dipt in cruelty and blood , Yet make bad deeds passe in the name of good . And kindling new commotions , they conspire With their hot Zeale to see whole Realmes on fire ; As t was apparent when they did combine , Against vs , in their fatall powder Mine . All hell for that blacke treason was plow'd vp , And mischiefe dranke deepe of damnations cup : The whole vast Ocean sea , no harbour grants To such deuouring greedy Cormorants , In the wide gulfe of their abhor'd designes Are thoughts that find no roome in honest minds . And now I speake of Rome euen in her sea , The Iesuits the dang'rous whirlepooles be , Religions are made waues , that rise and fall Before the wind or breath Pontificall . The Pope sends stormes forth , feuers or combines , According to his mood it raines or shines , And who is ready to put all his will In execution , but the Iesuit still . Nor hath this Cormorant long tane degree , For Esacus more ancient is then he : Yeares thousands since Troyes sonne he was created , And from a man but to bird translated , VVhereas the Iesuit deriues descent But from Ignatius Loyola , that went For a maim'd Spanish souldier , but herein The difference rises , which hath euer bin : From man to bird , one 's changed shape began , The other to a diuell from a man. Yet herein these wide maw'd Esacians , May well agree with these Ignatians , First black 's the coulour of the greedy Fowle , And black 's the Iesuits habite like his soule , The bird is leane though oft he be full craw'd , The Iesuit's hatchet fac'd , and wattle iaw'd , The Cormorant ( as nature best befits ) Still without chewing doth deuoure whole bits , So Iesuits swallow many a lordly liuing , All at a gulp without grace or thanksgiuing . The birds throat ( gaping ) without intermission , Resembles their most cruell inquisition , From neither is , non est redemptio , For what into the Corm'rants throat doth goe , Or Iesuits Barrathrum doth once retaine , It ne're returnes fit for good vse againe . Eighty yeares since he stole the Epethite From Iesus , to be cal'd a Iesuite , But I could find him out a style more right , From Iudas to be nam'd Iscariotite . Though Paul the third their title did approue , Yet he confin'd their number , that aboue Threescore they should not be , and yet we see How much encreased now the Vipers be , That many a thousand Christian lies and grones Vnder the slau'ry of these diuellish drones . And he that knowes but truly what they are , Will iudge a Cormorant's their better farre . A Separatist . THE ARGVMENT . Here earth and hell haue made a false commixion . Of painted zeale , and holinesse , and loue : Of Faith , of Hope , of Charitie ( in fiction ) In smoake and shadowes , as the fruits doe proue . Hypocrisie , which long pray'rs doth repeate , Deuoureth Widowes , and poore Orphans cheate . NOw enters next , to play his Oylie part A Saint in tongue , but a rough diuell in heart : One that so smoothly swallowes his prey downe , Without wrath shewne , or any seeming frowne . You 'd thinke him when he does it , in a Psalme , Or at his prayers , hee 's so milde and calme : No noyse , no trouble to his conscience cries , For he deuours his prey with heau'd vp eyes . Stands most demurely swallowing downe his bit , And lickes his lips , with long grace after it . This Bell-wether ( sir reu'rence ) leades the flocke , After his sense grafted in errours stocke . This reu'rend Barrabas , a Button-maker , Himselfe with trusty Demas his partaker , Meetes with their brethren , Chore , Abiram , Dathan , And tearme our Church the Synagogue of Sathan . Wise Balaam , Nabal , Esau , Ismael , Tertullus , Theudas , and Achitophel , Phiigellus , Himeneus , and Philetus , ( A crew of turne-coates that desire to cheat vs ) These fellowes with their Ample folio graces , With mumping chappes , and counterfeited faces , Though they like shotten Herrings are to see , Yet such tall souldiers of their teeth they be , That two of them like greedy Cormorants , Deuoures more then six honest Protestants . VVhen priuately a sister and a brother Doe meet , ther 's dainty doings with each other : Ther 's no delay , they ne're stand shall I shall I , Hermogenes with Dallila doth dally : And Simei with Saphira will dispute , That nine monthes after she doth beare the fruite . VVhen Zimri kissing Iesabel doth greet , And Cozby with her brother Cham , oh sweet , 'T is fit to trye ( their humors to refresh ) A Combate twixt the spirit and the flesh : Prouided that they doe it secretly , So that the wicked not the same espye : These youths deride the Surples , Crosse and Ring , The knee at Sacrament or any thing The Church holds Reuerend , and to testifie Their bastardy , the Fathers they deny . And of themselues they frame Religions new , VVich Christ and his Aposiles neuer knew ; And with vntemperd morter of their owne , They build a Church , to all good men vnknowne , Railes at the Harmonious Organs , and the Coape , Yet in each Church of theirs , they raise a Pope . Calls it the b●gde of Antichristian drosse , VVhen they see butter printed with a Crosse : And yet for Coyne thei 'le any man beguile , For when they tell it , they turne vp the pile . Vpon the Sabbath they 'le no phisicke take , Lest it should worke , and so the Sabbath breake . They hate to see a Church-man ride , ( why so ) Because that Christ bade his Apostles goe . Against our Churches all , they haue exclaim'd , Because by Saints names most of them are nam'd : If these new Saints will no old Saints abide , From Christendome they must , or run , or ride . Saint George from England chases them away , Saint Andrew doth in Scotland beare like sway : From Ireland good Saint Patrick them will banish , Saint Dennis out of France will make them vanish : Saint Iames will force them out of Spaine to flie , So will Saint Anthony from Italy , And last of all ( whom I had halfe forgot ) Saint Dany out of VVales will make them trot . And what vngodly place , can harbour then , These fugitiue vnnat'rall Englishmen : Except that with the Turke or Infidell , Or on , or in the Sea , they meane to dwell , That is in lesser roome they may be cram'd , And liue and die at Amster and be dam'd . And sure I hold some Romane Catholikes Much better then these selfe-wild Scismatickes . For Papists haue good affability , And some haue learning , most haue Charity , Except a Iesuit , whom I thinke a man , May terme a tight Papistick Puritan , And for the Sep'ratist I iustly call , A Scismaticke Impuritanicall . But yet the Iesuit's constant in his mind , The Scismatick is waueringly inclin'd . Besides , he thinkes whilst he on earth doth liue , T is charitie to take , and not to giue . There are a sort of men which conscience make Of what they say , or doe , or vndertake : Who neyther will dissemble , sweare , or lye , Who to good ends their actions all apply , Who keepe the Sabbath , and releeue the poore , According to their portions and their store : And these good people some men doe backbite And call them Puritanes , in scorne and spight , But let all know that do abuse them so , That for them is reseru'd a fearefull wo ; I loue and reuerence onely beare to such , And those that heere Inuectiuely I touch Are Birds whose Consciences are more vncleane Then any Cormorant wase're knowne or seene : I le stand to'th censure of all honest men , If they disproue me , I le ne're write agen . A Trust-breaker . THE ARGVMENT . A Foe to Iustice , a corrupted Friend , An outward Angell and an inward Fiend ; A hidden Serpent , a most subtle Fox A Sugred poyson , in a painted Box : A Syrens song , alluring to mishap , A Snare to Honesty , and Vertues trap . THe Rich Trust breaker , vpon whom hell waites Doth thrust into the Riuer of Estates , His foule deuouring Beake , and at one prey Will swallow fourteene Tradesmen in a day : As many of the Countrey Lordships slippes Flapdragon like , by his Insatiate lippes . The Father sometimes hath beene quite vndone , Through too much trusting his vnnat'rall Sonne , And a Trust-breaker hath a trick in 's pate To bring a rich Ward to a Beggers state . For some corrupted men haue got tuition Of rich mens Heires , and changed their condition With false inducements to Recusancy , Or suffring them through prodigality To runne so farre in debt , that all their Lands Are lost , before they come into their hands . Faire Schooles of learning haue bin built frō ground For Boyes whose Fathers were not worth fiue pound : But false Trust-breakers hold it for no sinne , To keepe out poore mens sonnes , take rich mens in . This Breach of Trust is multiplide , in time 'T a Catholike , and vniuersall crime , That man to man is growne so much vniust , That hee 's a wise man that knowes who to trust . But ( if there be such ) they doe want much care Who trust not in the world nor trusted are . Collectorships , the common wealth may lurch , For Burnings , Highwaies , Bridges , or the Church , For losse at Sea , for Hospitalls and Schooles , One hundred knaues , may make ten thousand fooles . Yet these things are so needfull , as I wot , Hee 's a base villaine that contributes not : But hee 's a hell-hound that their Trust deceiues , And the right due from those that want bereaues : Why , this Trust breaking hath the ex'lent skill To make a VVife to burne hir Husbands VVill , Because his first VViues Children should not haue The Portions that within that VVill hee gaue . And oftentimes a gasping man for breath , Distracted with the griping pangs of death , Hath to a forged VVill subscrib'd his hand , And dispossest his owne sonne of his land . Trust-breakers may a senselesse hand so frame , ( Though being six houres dead ) to write a Name , A rich-mans wealth that 's dead's like vntold gold , And that 's because t' is neuer truely told : For like to pitch it hath polluting tricks , And some vnto the fing'rers fingers sticks : But of all Rascalls since the world began , The Banckrupt Politick's the onely man , In courteous fashion many hee 'll vndo , And be much pittied and rewarded too : For hauing got mens wealth into his clawes , He holds it faster then a Cormorants lawes Can hold a silly fish , and at the last , Himselfe , himselfe will into prison cast . And hauing broke for thousands , there the hound Compounds , perhaps for ten groats in the pound , Se●s richly vp againe , 'till time hee sees , To breake , to prison againe , againe agrees : And thus a cunning knaue , can with a trice , Breake , and be whole againe , once , twice or thrice . These Cormorants are worse then theeues therefore , And beeing worse , deserue a hanging more . A Theife speakes what he meanes , & takes your purse , A Banckrupt flattring robs you ten times worse . The one doth sildome rob ye of all your pelfe , The other leaues you nough● to helpe your selfe : And yet the one for little theeuing may , At Tiburne make a hanging holliday ; VVhilest the great The●e may wi●h a golden prop , To faire Reuennues turne a Peddlers shop . In this voracity Father stands not free From his owne Sonne , nor fr●m his Vncle , he Being made Executor to'th States of men , My Corm'rant is a piddler to him then . He wil by cunning and vexation draw , Heire , wealth and All , into his rauenous maw , And when his gorge is full vp to the brim , Into some lothsome prison vomits him . There leaues the honor of a ho●se and name , To be exchang'd for misery and shame : Now tell me they that loue faire truth indeed , If such mawes doe not Corm'rants guts exceed . And to what place soeuer such resort , They are the Fowle Birds both in Towne aud Court. A Drunkard . THE ARGVMENT . A madnesse dearely bought , with losse of fame , Of credit and of manly reputation : A cursed purchase of disease and shame , Of death , and a great hazard of Damnation : In all that 's bad , the diuells onely Ape , Worse then a beast , in the best manly shape . THis fellow with the dropsie growne as bigge , And much more beastly then a Sowe with pigge : His cheekes like Boreas swolne , he ●low'd and puft , His paunch like to a woolpack cram'd and stuft : And by the meanes of what he swil'd and gul'd , Hee look'd like one that was three quarters mul'd . His breath compounded of strong English Beere , And th' Indian drug would suffer none come neere . From side to side he staggerd as he went , As if he reeling did the way indent . One skirt of 's cloake scarce reacht vnto his waste , The other dragging in the dirt he trac'd . His very braines within his head were stew'd , And look'd so crimson colour'd scarlet hew'd , As 't were an ignis fatuus , or a comet . His garments stunke most sweetly of his vomit , Fac'd with the tap-lash of strong Ale and Wine , Which from his slau'ring chaps doth oft decline . In truth he look'd as red as any coale , And bellied like vnto a Mare with foale : With hollow eyes , and with the palsie shaking , And gouty legs with too much liquor taking . This valiant pot-leach that vpon his knees Has drunke a thousand pottles vp se freese , Such pickled phrases he had got in store , As were vnknowne vnto the times of yore , As when he drinkes out all the totall summe , Gaue it the stile of superna●ul●um , And when he quaffing doth his entrailes wash , T is cal'd a hunch , a thrust , a whiffe , a slash : And when carousing makes his wits to faile , They say he hath a rattle at his taile , And when his wits are in the wetting shrunke , You may not say hee 's drunke , though he be drunke , For though hee be as drunke as any Rat , He hath but catcht a foxe , or whipt the Cat. Or some say , hee 's bewitcht , or scratcht , or blinde , ( VVhich are the fittest termes that I can finde . Or seene the Lyons , or his nose is dirty , Or hee 's pot-shaken , or out , two and thirty And then strange languages comes in his head , VVhen he wants English how to goe to bed : And though t' were fit the swine should in his stye bee , Hee spewes out latine with pro bibi tibi : Which is , prouide for Tiburne ( as I take it ) Or if it be not , hee may chance to make it . Then Irish Shachatwhorum from him flees , And halfe a dozen welch me Vatawhees : Vntill hee falls asleepe hee skinks and drinkes , And then , like to a Bore he winkes , and stinkes . This Cormorant in one day swallowes more , Then my poore Esacus doth in a score . For mine but once a day doth take his fill , The drunkard , night and day doth quaffe and swill , Drinke was ordain'd to length mans fainting breath , And from that liquor Drunkards draw their death : Displeasing God , the diuell he onely pleases , And drinkes with others healths , his owne diseases . And in the end contempt and shame 's his share , The whil'st a Tapster is his onely Heire . Thus drinke's a wrastler that giues many a fall , To death , to beggery and slauish thrall . And drunkennesse a wilfull madnesse is , That throwes men to hells bottomles abisse . For why , where drunkennes is mistris , there Sobriety can hardly maistry beare : And ti 's no question but the land hath drown'd , More men with drinke , then Seas did e're confound . Wine is Earth's blood , which from her breast doth spring , And ( well vs'd ) is a comfortable thing . But if abused from it then beginnes , Most horrible notorious crying sinnes . As Murther , Lechery , Ebriety , Gods wrath , damnation in variety : For he that is a drunkard is the summe , And abstract of all mischiefes that can come . It wasts him soule and body , life and limb , My Cormorant's a sober beast to him . He that perswades a man to steale or lye , To sweare , or to commit adultery , To stab or murder any man that liues , Can it be said that he good counsell giues ? And he that tempts and forces men to drinke , Perswades a man to damne himselfe , I thinke , For drunken men haue into dangers run , Which ( being sober ) they would ne're haue done . I take them for no friends , that giue me wine , To turne me from a man vnto a swine , To make me void of manners , sense , or reason , To abuse God , blaspheming odious treason , To hurt my soule and body , fame and purse , To get the diuell , and gaine Gods heavy curse , Though many take such for their friends to be , I wish them hang'd that are such friends to me : For greater enemies there cannot dwell In the whole world , nor in the bounds of hell . Good friendly drinking I account not euill , But much carousing , which makes man a diuell , VVanting the priuiledge that hath a horse , And to be vrg'd and forc'd to drinke perforce . For why a horse this gouernment hath still , Drinkes what he will , and not against his will. And he that that good rule doth ouerpasse , Hath lesse discretion then a horse or Asse : And any man that doth this temp'rance want , Is a worse glutton then my Cormorant . A prodigall Country Gallant , and his new made Maddam . THE ARGVMENT . Taylors fooles , Times bables , and prides Apes , That as a Squirrell skips from tree to tree : So they like Porteus leape from shapes to shapes . Like foule swords in gilt scabberds , he and she Their carkasse pampers , gorgeously bedeckt , Whilst their poore starued soules they both neglect . NOw step● my young gull gallant into play , Who ( borne to land ) i' th country scornes to stay , To liue by wit ( thanks Sire ) he hath no need , And if he should be hang'd can scarcely reade . Drabs , dice , and drinke are all his onely ioyes , His pockets , and his spurs , his gingling boyes , A Squirrels tayle hangs dangling at his eare , A badge which many a gull is knowne to weare . His eyes red blood-shot , arguing a sod brainc , His dam-him voice set to the roaring straine : His nose well inlaid with rich iemmes about , As from a watch - Towre , their h●ads peeping out , Attended fitly , ( fitting for the age ) VVith two shag'd Russians , and a pyde coat Page , Who beares his boxe , and his Tobacco fils , VVith stopper , tongs , and other vtensils . This Fop , late buried , e're he came vp hither , His thrift and 's father in one graue together , His country stocke he sold , for that 's the fashion , And to a farmer gaue it new translation : His Fathers seruants hee thrust out of dore , Allowes his mother but a pension poore : Salutes you with an oath at euery word , Sirha or slaue he lib'rall doth afford . His Father ( a good house-keeper ) being dead , He scornes his honest block should fit his head : And though hee be not skil'd in Magick Art , Yet to a Coach hee turn'd his Fathers Cart. Foure Teames of Horses , to foure Flanders Mares With which to London hee in pomp repaires , Woo's a She Gallant , and to Wife he takes her : Then buyes a knighthood , and a maddam makes her . And yearely they vpon their backs ore weare , That which oft fed fiue hundred with good cheere . Whil'st in the Countrey all good bounty 's spilt His house , as if a Iugler it had built , For all the Chimneies , where great fires were made , The smoake at one hole onely is conuay'd : No times obseru'd nor Charitable Lawes , The poore receiue their answer from the Dawes , Who in their caaing language call it plaine Mockbegger Manour , for they came in vaine . They that deuoure what Charity should giue Areboth at London , there the Cormorants liue , But so transform'd of late , doe what you can , You 'le hardly know the woman from the man : There sir Tim Twirlepipe and his Lady Gay , Doe prodigally spend the time away : Beeing both exceeding proud , and scornefull too , And any thing ( but what is good ) thei 'le do . For Incubus , and Succubus haue got A crew of fiends , which the old world knew not : That if our Grand-fathers and Grand-dams should Rise from the dead , and these mad times behold . Amazed they ( halfe madly ) would admire , At our fantasticke gestures and attire : And they would thinke that England in conclusion , Were a meere bable Babell of confusion . That Muld-sack for his most vnfashiond fashions , Is the fit patterne of their transformations : And Mary Frith doth teach them modesty , For shee doth keepe one fashion constantly , And therefore she deserues a matrons praise , In these inconstant moone-like changing dayes . A witlesse Asse ( to please his wiues desire ) Payes for the fewell , for her pride 's hot fire : And he and she will wast , consume , and spoyle , To feed the stinking lamp of pride with oyle : When with a sword , he gat a knightly name , With the same blow , his Lady was struck lame . For if you marke it , she no ground doth tread , ( Since the blow fell ) except that she be lead : And Charity is since that time ( some say ) In a Carts yonger brother borne away . These are the Cormorants , that haue the power To swallow a Realme , and last themselues deuour : And let their gaudy friends , thinke what they will , My Cormorant shall be their better still . An Extortioner and a Broaker . THE ARGVMENT . Friends to but few , and to their owne soules worst , With Aspish poyson poysning men at first , Who laughing languish , neuer thinke on death , Vntill these Wolues ( with biting ) stop their breath ; The diuell and they at no time can be sunder'd , And all their trade is forty in the hundred . ROome for two hounds , well coupl'd , and t' is pitty To part them , they doe keepe such ranck i' th City , Th' Extortioner is such a fiend , that he Doth make the Vsurer a Saint to be . One for a hundreds vse doth take but ten , T'other for ten a hundred takes agen : The one mongst Christians is well tolerated , Tother's of heauen and earth abhor'd and hated , The one doth often helpe a man distrest , The other addes oppression to'th opprest . By paying vse a man may thriue and get , But by extortion neuer none could yet . Though vsury be bad , ( t is vnderstood , Compared with extortion ) it seemes good . One by ●e●aile , and th' other by the great , Ingrose the profits of the whole worlds sweat , That man is happy that hath meate and cloath , And stands in need of neither of them both , Extortioners are Monsters in all nations , All their Conditions turne to Obligations , VVaxe is their shot , and writing pens their Guns , Their powder is the inke that from them runs . And this dank powder hath blowne vp more men In one yeare , then gunpowder hath in ten . Bils are their weapons , parchments are their shields , VVith which they win whole lordships , towns & fields And , for they know in heauen they ne're shall dwell , They ingrose the earth before they come to hell . Yet all their liues here they with cares are vext , Slaues in this world , and hell hounds in the next . And what they o're the diuels backe did win , Their heyres beneath his belly waste in sinne . The Broaker is the better senting hound , He hunts and scouts till he his prey hath found , The gallant which I mention'd late before , Turning old hospitality out of doore , And hauing swallowed tenants and their crops , Comming to towne , he crams Extortions chops : Craft there , may here againe be set to schoole , A Country knaue oft proues a City foole . He that a dogs part plaies when he is there , A wolfe deuoures him when he comes vp here : The silly swaine the racking Landlord worries , But Swaine and Landlord both extortion curries . First thing is done , the Broaker smels him forth , Hunts all his haunts , enquires into his worth : Sents out his present wants , and then applies Rank poyson to his wounds for remedies . In stead of licking , he 's a biting whelpe , And ranckles most , when he most seemes to helpe , And he hunts dry foot ; neuer spends his throat Till a has caught his game , and then his note Luls him asleepe , fast in Extortions bands There leaues him , takes his fee o' th goods and lands . And as he is the Commonwealths deceiuer , So ( for the most part ) hee 's the theeues receiuer . Hangs vp the hangmans wardrop at his doore , Which by the hangman hath beene hang'd before . A fishwife , with a pawne , doth money seeke , Hee two pence takes for twelue pence euery weeke : Which makes me aske my selfe a question plaine , And to my selfe I answere make againe : Was Houndsditch Houndsditch calld can any tell , Before the Broakers in that street did dwell ? No sure it was not , it hath got that name From them , and since the Time they thither came : And well it now may called be Houndsditch , For there are Hounds will giue a vengeance twitch : These are the Gulphes , that swallow all by lending , Like my old shoes , quite past all hope of mending : I 'de throw my Cormorants dead into the pooles . If they cram'd fish so fast as these eate fooles . A Basket Iustice. THE ARGVMENT . The best of men , when truely exercis'd , The Actor may a Saint be canoniz'd : Not Policy but practise , Iustice frames , Those whom bribes blinde , haue onely thred-bare names Of what they should be , thus the Land is blest , When iudgments iust flow from the Iudges breast . BEfore the noyse of these two Hounds did cease , A Iustice ( comming by ) commanded peace : Peace Curres ( quoth he ) and learne to take your pray , And not a word , so wise folkes , goe away : This is a youth that sued his place to haue , Bought his authority to play the knaue . And as for Coyne he did his place obtaine , So hee 'le sell Iustice to mak 't vp againe , For the old prouerb fits his humor well , That he that dearely buyes , must dearely sell. The sword of Iustice draw he stoutly can , To guard a knaue , and grieue an honest man , His Clarke's the Bee that fils his comb with honey , He hath the wit , his master hath the money . Such Iusticer as this ( if men doe marke ) Is altogether guided by his Clarke , He 's the vice Iustice , he workes all by 's wits , The whilst his master pickes his teeth , or spits , Walkes , hums , and nods , cals knaue at euery turne , ( As if he in a dawes nest had beene borne : ) No other language from his worship flees , But prisons , warrants , Mittimus , and fees : Commit , before he search out the offence , And heare the matter after two dayes hence , Talkes of Recognizances , and hath scope To bind and loose , as if he were the Pope . Be the case ne're so good , yet build vpon 't , Fees must be payd , for that 's the humor on 't . And thus with onely cursed wealth and beard , He makes a world of witlesse fooles afeard , And when he giues them but a smile or nod , They thinke this doughty elfe , a demy-god . When fortune fals , he knowes to vse the same , His Clarke and he , as quiet as a lambe , Make not two words , but share , and goe through stich , Here 's mine , there 's thine , for they know which is which There hath beene , are , and will be still agen , In all professions , some corrupted men : Before this branch of false Gehez●es Tribe , T is sacriledge to call a bribe a bribe , Giue him a Bucke , a Pig , a Goose , or Phesant , ( For manners sake ) it must be cal'd a present , And when he 's blind in Iustice , t is a doubt , But Turkies tallons scratch'd his eyes halfe out : Or Capons clawes , but t is a heauy case That fowles should flye so in a Iustice face . Sometimes his eyes are goard with an Oxe horne , Or suddaine dasht out with a sacke of corne , Or the whiske brushing of a Coachmares taile To fit the Coach , but all these thoughts may faile , Some thinke they are but clouded , and will shine , Eclips'd a little with a Teirce of Wine , Or onely falne into some hoodwink'd nap , As some men may vpon the Bench , by hap . But Iustice seemes deafe when some tales are told , Perhaps his charity hath tane some cold , And that may be the cause , or rattling Coaching , Or neighing horses to her gate approaching , From thence into the stable , as her owne : The certaine truth thereof is not yet knowne . But sure she is so deafe , that she can heare , Nothing but what her Clarke blowes in her eare , Which Clarke , good men must croach to , & stand bare Or else finall Iustice mongst them they shall share , His Master like a weather-cocke inclinde , As he doth please he makes him turne and winde . This Iustice of all senses is bereft , Except his feeling , onely feeling's left : With which he swallowes with insatiate power , More bribes then doth my Corm'rant fish deuoure . A Cutpurse . THE ARGVMENT . This is a mad knaue , liues by trickes and sleights . He diues by land , and dies within the ayre : He serues no man , yet courteously he waites On whom he list , in Church , towne , throng , or faire . He will not worke , yet is well cloath'd and fed , And for his farewell seldome dies in 's bed . THis spirit , or this Ferrit , next that enters ( Although he be no Merchant ) much he ventures , And though he be a noted coward , yet Most valiantly he doth his liuing get . He hath no weapon but a curtoll knife , Wherewith for what he hath he hazards life . East Indian Merchants crosse the raging Floods , And in their ventring , venter but their goods : When as themselues at Hope securely sleepe , And neuer plow the dangerous ocean deepe , If they doe lose by Pirates , tempests , rocks , T is but a Flea bite to their wealthy stocks : VVhilst the poore Cutpurse day and night doth toile , VVatches and wardes , and doth himslefe turmoile : Oft cuts a purse before the Sessions barre , VVhilst others for their liues apleading are , To Sturbridge Faire , or vnto Bristoll ambles In ieopardy he for his liuing rambles , And what he gets he doth not beg or borrow , Ventures his necke , and there 's an end , hang sorrow VVhilst midst his perils he doth drinke and sing And hath more pursebearers then any King Liues like a Gentleman , by sleight of hand ; Can play the Foist , the Nip , the Stale , the Stand , The Snap , the Curb , the Crosbite , Warp , and List , Decoy , prig , Cheat , ( all for a hanging shift . ) Still valiant where he comes , and free from care , And dares the stocks , the whip , the Iaile outdare . Speakes the braue canting tongue , lyes with his dell , Or pad , or doxi , or his bonny Nell , And liues as merry as the day is long , In scorne of Tyburne , or the ropes ding-dong . But now a ieast or two to minde I call , Which to this function lately did befall : A Cutpurse standing in a market-towne , As for his prey his eyes scowld vp and downe , At last he shoulders neare a country Lasse , And cut her purse , as by her he did passe . Shee spide and caught him , and began to raue , Cald him rogue , rascall , villeyne , thiefe and slaue . Gep with a pox , the Cutpurse then replide , Are you so fine you can no icasting bide , I 'ue ieasted more with forty honest men , So with a moraine , take your purse agen . Another sattin Cutpurse , dawbd with lace , A country Gentleman for 's purse did chase , On whom a blew-coat Seruingman did waite , And passing through a narrow obscure strait , The thieuing knaue the purse he nimbly nims And like a land sharke , thence by land he swims . The Scruingman perceiu'd the Cutpurse tricke , Said nought , but dogges him through thinne & thick , Vntill the thiefe suppos'd the coast was cleare , As he was pissing Blew-coat cut off's eare . The Cutpurse madly gins to sweare and curse , The other said , Giue me my masters purse , VVhich you stole lately from his pocket , then There 's no wrong done , but here 's your eare agen . Thus though a Cutpurse trade be counted ill , I say he is a man of action still : Waites on Ambassadors that comes and goes , Attends at Tiltings and triumphant showes At Westminster , he still attendance giues On the Lord Mayor , his brethren , and the Shrieues , Although vnbidden , yet hee 'll be a guest , And haue his hand in sometimes with the best . And whilst he liues , note how he takes degree , Newgate's his hall , at Tyburne hee 's made free : Where commonly it so fals out with him , He dyes in perfect health , sound winde and limbe , He in a Coaches elder brother rides , And when his soule and corps , from each diuides , He foules no sheetes , nor any Physicke takes , But like a bird in'th ayre an end he makes : And such an end I wish they all may haue , And all that loue a shifting Cutpurse knaue . For they are Cormorants wheresoere they haunt , Vntill the Gallowes proues their Cormorant . A good and a bad Constable . THE ARGVMENT . This man is to the Magistrate an eye , Reuealing things which Iustice could not finde . Blacke deeds of darknesse , he doth oft descry , And is ( if he be honestly inclinde ) So fit the Common-wealth in peace to keepe , By watching carefully whilst thousands sleepe . VVhen Titan steepes his bright resplendant beames , And hides his burning Car i' th westerne streames ; VVhen to the vnder world day takes his flight , And leaues th' Horizon all in darknesse dight , VVhen Philomel doth gainst a thorne proclaime In dulcet notes , the lustfull Tereus shame , VVhen Maddam Midnight shewes her Ebon face , And darknesse doth the Hemispheare embrace , Then ( to keepe all things peaceable and well ) The watchfull Constable keepes Centinell . Then if a man ( with drinke ) his wit hath left , Or hath committed leachery , or theft , Or murder , then the Constable thinkes fit That such committers straitly he commit Hee 's Lord high Regent of the tedious night , Man of the Moone he may be called right : Great generall of Glowormes , Owles and Bats , Comptroler ouer such as whip the Cats . Dianaes forrester that with regard , Doth guard the Heard that liues within his ward , His vigilancy is most manifest , For through his hornes he lightens all the rest . Like Minos . or iust iudging Rhadamant , He walkes the darksome streets of Troynouant , Attended with his Goblins clad in Rugs , Like Russian Beares , or Phlegetonian bugs , Vntill Aurora shewes her blushing brow , And Lucifer doth shine , and Cocks do crow , Madge Howlet whooting , hides her fearefull head , Then goes the Constable and 's watch to bed . This officer in the first place I put , He that comes next is of another cut . Yet he 's a member of the peace comes next , And writ most commonly an asse in Text : Image of office he is held to be And has his staffe tip'd with authority , He has his bill-men , which can seldome keepe The name of watchmen , for they 're still asleepe . His word is Who goes there ? Where doe you dwell ? Stand still , and come before the Constable . Is this an houre : carry him to the Compter goe . Sayes a man's drunke , when his owne case is so . But let a quar'ling slaue indeed goe by , Leading by 'th arme his rampant venery , A thing of filthy surfet , like a swine , That scarce can goe laden with poxe and wine , They for their sixpence shall passe by in state , The porter with a leg will ope the gate , VVorship'd , and guarded to their lodging safe , Not with bils onely , but th'officious staffe . VVhilst the good sober man , that nothing gaue , Is straight committed for a dangerous knaue , Traytor to'th State , and in the Iayle must lye , VVhilst th' other's lighted to his lechery . This Constable may haue a tricke in store , His house may be safe harbour for a whore , Because no man will offer to search there . She there may rest , and roost secure from feare . There she may lodge , and trade too if shee will , As sure and safe , as theeues are in a Mill , Or Suburbs for the birth of Bastards are , For all desire to lay their bellies there . Nay as a Compter for a fellon's home , Or Ladies chamber for a Priest from Rome . But yet I say , t is not a matter hard , To finde an honest Constable in 's ward . Trust forbid else , and waking watchmen to , VVhose bils were neuer stolne , and much adoe To be corrupted with a villaines shilling , To wrong the good , and bad mens mindes fulfilling . Such men as those I thinke some few there be , And for the rest , would they were hangd for me . He when my Corm'rant is at rest , and thinkes Poore fish no harme , nor ought that water drinkes , That 's a night Corm'rant , and at midnight swils , Whole cans and pots with cheaters and their Iils , He makes all fish that comes into his net , Drinkes drunke , and sleepes , and then the watch is set . A London Serieant and Iaylor . THE ARGVMENT . A brace of Hell-hounds that on earth doe dwell , That tyrannize on poore mens bodies more , ( If more they could ) then diuels ore soules in hell : Whose musicke is the groanings of the poore . These , when they buy their office , sell their soules , No Cormorants are such deuouring fowles . THe Serieant I before the Iaylor name , Because he is the dog that hunts the game : He worries it , and brings it to the toyle , And then the Iaylor liues vpon the spoile . I 'ue knowne a Serieant that foure houres hath sate , Peeping and leering through a Tauerne grate , His Yeoman on the other side the way , Keeping the like watch both for one poore prey : Whom when they spide , like mastiues they come neere him , And by the throat like cruell curs they teare him ; If he hath money , to the Tauerne straight , These sucking purse-leaches will on him wait : But if his stocke below , and 's pockets drye , To'th Iayle with him , there let him starue and dye . Yet for all this a Serieant is deuout , For he doth watch and prey much out of doubt . He sels no spice , and yet in euery place He 's halfe a Grocer , for he liues by 's mace : He 's part a Gentleman , for vp and downc , Their steps he followes round about the towne . And yet he seemes a Iugler too by this , He oft from shape to shape so changed is : As sometimes like an Amsterdammian brother , Sometimes a Porters shape , sometimes another , Sometimes t'a Counsellor at Law , and then T'a lame , or blinded begger , and agen T'a Country Seruingman that brings a Deere , And with these trickes his prey he doth come deere . Wherein he imitates the diuell aright , Who can put on an Angels shape of light , That so his craft may on mens soules preuaile . So Serieants snare mens bodies for the Iayle , Time was he wore a proper kind of coate , And in his hand a white rod , as a note Whereby a man far off a knaue might spie , And shun him if he were in ieopardy . But now to no such habit he is bound , Because his place ( neere ) cost him eight score pound , To get the which againe , he must disguise And vse a thousand shifts and villanies . Oh that a man so little grace should haue To giue so much , to be esteem'd a knaue . To be shau'd , duck'd , and vnpittied dye , Curst and contemn'd within his graue to lie . To hazard soule and body , ne're to thriue , But by mens harmes , deuouring them aliue . To be the hang-mans guard , and wait vpon The Gallowes at an Execution , But yet the office is most fit we see , And fit that honest men should haue it free . Now for the other sucking diuell , the Iaylor His worke 's brought to him , as he were a Taylor . As if he were a Fencer hee 'll beginne , And aske a man what ward hee will be in : ( But first the prisoner drawes without delay , A sop for Cerberus that turnes the key . ) Then the old prisoners garnish doe demand , Which straight must be discharged out of hand . But if he cannot pay , or doth denye , He thrusts him in the hole , there lets him lye . If a good prisoner hath a well-linde purse , The Iaylor then esteemes him as his nurse , Suckes like a Bulcalfe , and doth neuer cease Till with much griefe he heares of a release . An Vnder-keeper , ( though without desert ) Is a continuall knaue in spight on 's hart : If to the prisoners he be sharpe and cruell , He proues their knaue , and his good masters Iewell : If vnto them himselfe he well behaue , He is their Iewell and his Masters knaue . So let him turne himselfe which way he can , Hee seldome shall be held an honest man. Perhaps the Iaylor in one stinking rome Hath sixe beds , for the Gallant and the Grome , ) In lowsie linnen , ragged couerlets : Twelue men to lodge in those sixe beds hee sets : For which each man doth pay a groat a night , VVhich weeklie's eight and twenty shillings right : Thus one foule dirty roome from men vnwilling , Drawes yearly seauenty three pound sixteene shilling . Besides a Iaylor ( to keepe men in feare ) Will like a demi-deuill dominere : Roare like a Bearward , grumble , snarle , and growle , Like a Towre Cat-a-Mountaine stare and scowle . He and the Serieant may be coupled too , As bane of mankind , for they both vndoe : Th'Extortioner and Broaker nam'd before , Hauing both bit and grip'd a mans state sore : In comes the Serieant for his breakfast then , Drags him to'th Iayle to be new squeezd agen : And thence he gets not , there he shall not start , Till the last drop of blood's wrong from his heart . Yet I haue heard some Serieants haue beene mild , And vs'd their prisoner like a Christians child : Nip'd him in priuate , neuer trig'd his way , As Bandogs carrion , but went faire away , Follow'd aloofe , shewd himselfe kind and meeke , And lodg'd him in his owne house for a weeke . You 'd wonder at such kindnesse in a man , So many Regions from a Christian. But what 's the cause , I le lead you out o' th maze , T is twenty shillings euery day he stayes , Besides the Serieants wife must haue a stroake , At the poore teate , some outside she must soake , Although she tridge for 't , whilst good fortunes fall , He shall command house , Serieant , and all . Thus may it come by 'th side o' th breeding woman , The Serieants son 's a Gentleman , no yeoman : And whilst they fish from mens decayes and wants , Their wiues may proue foule fleshly Cormorants . Thus a bad Serieant and a Iaylor both , Are Cormorants which all good people loathe , And yet amongst them some good men there are , Like snow at Midsommer , exceeding rare . A Symonicall Patron , and his penny Clarke . THE ARGVMENT . Here Magus seeketh holy things to buy , With cursed bribes and base corrupting gold : Lets soules for want of preaching starue and die , Fleeces and flayes his flockes , bare pilde and pold : That to speake truth , in spight of who controls , Such Clarkes and Patrone murder many soules . THis is the bane both of the age and men , A Patron with his benefices ten ; That wallowes in fat liuings a Church leach , And cannot keepe out of my Corm'rants reach , One of these Patrons doth deuoure his Clarks , As they doe perish soules , after foure Markes , And euery yeare a paire of new high shooes , For which betwixt two Churches he doth vse Each Sabbath day with diligence to trot , But to what purpose , few or none know not . Except it be'cause he would eate and feed , He 'le starue two Cures , for he can hardly reade . This sir Iohn Lacklatine , true course doth keepe , To preach the Vestry men all fast asleepe , And box and cuffe a Pulpit mightily , Speaking non-sense with nose-wise grauity , These youths , in Art , purse , and attire most bare Giue their attendance , at each steeple faire : Being once hir'd he 'le not displease his Lord , His surly Patron , nor dares preach a word , But where he giues the text , and that must be Some place of Scripture bites no vsury , Extortion , or the like , but some calme law , That will not fret his sore , be 't nere so raw . As calmly preach'd , as lamely to exptesse't . With clamarous yell that likes the parish best . This Clarke shall be a drudge too , all his time , Weedes in the garden , beares out dung and slime : Then vpon Sabbath dayes the scroyle beginnes With most vnhallowed hands , to weed vp sinnes : And from cup filling all his weeke dayes spent , Comes then to giue the Cup at Sacrament . And from his trencher waiting goes to serue Spirituall food to those that almost starue ; And what 's this Clarke that 's of such seruile mind , Some smatring Pedant or mechanicke hinde , Who taking an intelligencers place Against poore tenants , first crept into grace , And drudges for eight pounds ayeare perhaps , VVith his great vailes of Sundayes trencher scraps . This makes the sacred Tribe of Leui sad , That many of them proue the Tribe of Gad , This makes good Scholers iustly to complaine , VVhen Patrones take they care not who for gaine , VVhen as a Carter shall more wages haue , Then a good Preacher that helpes soules to saue , These Cormorants Gods part doth eate and cram , And so they fare well , care not who they damne , The people scarce knowes what a Sermon meanes , For a good Preacher there can haue no meanes , To keepe himselfe with cloathes , and books , and bread Nor scarce a pillow t'vnderlay his head . The whilst the Patrons wife ( my Lady Gay ) Fares , and is deckt most dainty euery day : Shee 'le see that preaching trouble not the towne , And weares a hundred Sermons in a Gowne . Shee hath a preachers liuing on her backe , For which the soules of many goes to wrack , And hires a mungrell cheaply by the yeare , To famish those Christs blood hath bought so deare ; What greater cruelty can this exceed , Then to pine those whom Iesus bids them feed , These are hels vultures , Tophets greedy fowles , That proue ( like diuels ) Cormorants of soules . A Country Yeoman . THE ARGVMENT . Here Dauy dicker comes , God speed the plough , Whose Sonne 's a Gentleman , and hunts and haukes : His Farme good cloathes and feeding will allow , And whatsoere of him the Country talkes , His sonne 's in silkes , with feather in his head , Untill a begger bring a foole to bed . THe Romane Histories doe true relate How Dioclesian chang'd his Emp'rors state , To liue in quiet in a Country Farme , Out of the reach of treasons dangerous arme . Then was a Farmer , like a labring Ant , And not a land deuouring Cormorant . For if a Gentleman hath land to let , He 'le haue it , at what price soe're t is set , And bids , and ouer-bids , and will giue more , Then any man could make of it before : Offers the Landlord more then he would craue , And buyes it , though he neither get nor saue . And whereas Gentlemen their land would let , At rates that tenants might both saue and get , This Cormorant will giue his landlord more , Then he would aske , in hope that from the poore He may extort it double , by the rate , Which he will sell his corne and cattle at . At pining famine he will ne're repine , T is plenty makes this Cormorant to whine , To hoard vp corne with many a bitter ban , From widowes , orphanes , and the lab'ring man : He prayes for raine in haruest , night and day , To rot and to consume the graine and hay : That so his mowes and reekes , and stacks that mould , At his owne price he may translate to gold . But if a plenty come , this rauening thiefe Torments ( and sometimes hangs ) himselfe with griefe . And all this raking toyle , and carke and care , Is for his clownish first borne sonne and heire , Who must be gentled by his ill got pelfe , Though he ( to get it ) got the diuell himselfe . And whilst the fathers bones a rotting lie , His sonne his cursed wealth , accurst lets flie , In whores , drinke , gaming , and in reuell coyle , The whilst his fathers soule in flames doth broile . And when the father on the earth did liue , To his sonnes fancy he such way did giue , For at no season he the plough must hold , The Summer was too hot , the Winter cold , He robs his mother of her butter pence , Within the Alehouse serues him for expence . And so ( like Coles dog ) the vntutor'd mome , Must neither goe to Church , nor bide at home . For he his life another way must frame , To hauke , to hunt , abusing the Kings game , Some Nobleman or Gentleman that 's neere , At a cheape rate to steale what they call deere . VVhen if a poore man ( his great want to serue ) Whose wife and children ready are to starue , If he but steale a sheepe from out the fold , The chuffe would hang him for it if he could . For almes , he neuer read the word releeue , He knowes to get , but neuer knowes to giue , And whatsoere he be that doth liue thus , Is a worse Cormorant then my Aesacus , A Figure flinger , or a couzning cunning man. THE ARGVMENT . Amongst a foolish , faithlesse , gracelesse crew , This man hath better credit then Gods word : For losse that 's past , or profit to ensue , Like to a Terme , with Customers hee 's stor'd . Hee 's a Sooth-sayer , but saith seldome sooth , And hath the Diuels great seale for what he doth . HEre now I draw a curtaine and discouer Amongst all knaues the deuils speciall louer : One that doth court him still , and daily wooe , And faine would see the deuill , but knowes not how . He has him in his workes , that 's his sure place , But has not Art to bring him to his face . VVhen he could wish him to his outward sense , The diuell sits laughing in his conscience : Yet you shall haue this figure-flinger prate , To his gull client ( small wit shallow pate , ) As if he were Lord warden of hell fire , And Lucifer and he had both one sire , The Fiends his couzen Germanes ( once remou'd ) From earth to hell , where he is best belou'd . More fustian language from his tongue doth drop , Then would set forth an honest tradesmans shop : As if that all Magitians that ere were , Vnworthy were his learned bookes to beare , Not Zoroastres , King o' th Bactrians , Nor the sage Magi of the Persians , Nor any coniuring sonne of Cham or Chus , Nor Faustus with his Mephostophilus , Cornelius Agrippa , Simon Magus , Nor any twixt the riuer Thames or Tagus , Nor Britanes Bladud , Cambriaes Merlin , Bacon , Companions for this man would ne're be taken . For he is rare , and deeply read indeed , In the admir'd right reuerend old wiues Creed , Takes of the Iewish Thalmud , and Cabals , Solstitiums and Equinoctials , Of auguries , of prophecies , predictions , Prognostications , reuelation , fictions , And as he could the Elements command , He seemes as he their minds doth v●derstand . By Fire he hath the skill of Pyromanty , By Ayre he hath the art of Heromanty , By Water he knowes much in Hidromanty , And by the Earth he 's skil'd in Geomanty : Palme Chiromanty , couzuing Necromancy , To gull the world , to fulfill fooles fancy . Hags , ghosts , and goblins , furies , fairies , clues , He knowes the secrets of the diuells themselues , There 's not a Nimph , a fawne , or goatefoot Satyre , That liues by fire , by ayre , by earth , or water , Nor Driades or Hamadriades , Betwixt Septentrio and Meridies , But he commands them to doe what they list , If he but bend the brow , or clutch the fist . Hee 'le tell a mans hearts secrets what he thinkes , Like Oedipus vnfolds th'ambiguous Sphinx , With skill surpassing great Albumazers , He with intelligencing Fiends confers , And by his wondrous Attacoosticon , Knowes the Turkes counsell , and what Prester Iohn Determines , or what businesse now befals Amidst the conclaue of Romes Cardinals . He can release , or else encrease all harmes , About the necke or wrests by tying charmes . He hath a tricke to kill the Agues force , And make the patient better , or much worse , To the great toe three letters he can tye , Shall make the gowt to tarry or else flye . With two words and three leaues of foure leau'd grasse He makes the tooth-ach , stay , repasse , or passe : If lost goods you againe would faine haue got , Goe but to him , and you shall speed , or not . But he will gaine whether you get or lose , He 'le haue his fee , for so the bargaine goes : He 'le tell you wonders when you are alone , Of the Philosophers admired stone : And that it from Vtopia first did come . Brought to him by a spirit , he sent to Rome , Whereby ( t' inrich the world he dares be bold ) To turne pans , pots , and dripping pans to gold . And in the Goldsmiths burnisht glistring row , Place Ironmongers with a fairer show , Turne Spits and Andir'ns to bright mettle shining , that whē coin's scarce you straight may put to coining These and a thousand more , as idlely vaine Fooles swallow , and he swallowes them againe , And though the marke of truth he neuer hits , Yet still this Cormorant doth liue by 's wits , And ne're will want a false deuouring tricke , Till hels Archcormorant deuoure him quicke . A Corrupted Lawyer , and a knauish Vndershriefe . THE ARGVMENT . The soule of Commonwealths is in good lawes , Their execution makes a happy State , But where corruption opes his hungry Iawes , Where Lawyers doe encrease , not cease debate , Such Law wormes are the diuels dearest brood , Who make the common harme their priuate good . A Hall , a hall , the tramplers are at hand , A shifting master , and as sweetly mand : His Buckrum bearer , one that knowes his ku , Can write with one hand , and receiue with two . The trampler is in haste , O cleere the way , Takes fees with both hands cause he cannot stay , No matter where the cause be right or wrong , So he be payd for letting out his tongue . Me thinkes that posie which the Painters score Vpon Inne posts , would fir this fellowes doore , Because he lets his conscience out for fee , That here 's a tongue that 's let at liuery . This pettifogger , like a Lapland witch , Sels his winde deare , and so growes diuellish rich : Breath is his life and deare he 'le sell his breath , The more he wastes , the nearer is his death . To begger any man he will not straine His voice , except they pay him for his paine . He best doth fare where C●ients fare the worse , And euery meale hath first and second course , The dish●s that come first vp to the messe , Are bra●les and quarrels , strife , vnquietnesse , Contentio●s , emulations , and debate , These furnish forth his table in great state . And then for picking meat , or dainty bits , The second course is actions , cases , writs : Long suits from terme to terme , and fines and fees At the last cast comes in for fruit and cheese . The man of all men , most in art excel'd , That in Great Britaine would cont●●●ion geld , And by that meanes could make a good preuention , Contention would beg●t no more con●ention . This Lawyers riches euer springs and bloomes , From sheeps coat , calues skin , russet hobnaild grooms , Perswading them that all things shal goe well , Sucks out the egge , leaues them the empty shell . He hath a sleight in s●inning out a cause , Till all the money out of purse it drawes , His clients with full budgets come to towne , But he takes order for then going downe , The full is now the Lawyers , theirs the wane , Like buckets turn'd to come vp full againe : With papers laden thinke themselues most firme , C●●e them downe , to bring them vp next terme . Horse , plow , and cattle goe to wracke , split all , T is fit the stable wait● vpon ●he stall . Their sheepe the parchment beares their geese the quils , Which turnes their state as this bad Lawyer wils . Their sh●rts the paper makes , their Bees the wax , T' vndoe themselues that good discretion lacks , These men like geese against themsel●es doe things , In plucking quils from their owne foolish wings , This Lawyer makes his dang'rous shafts withall , And shootes them at the fowles from whence they fall . The Commonwealths impostu● he doth cut , And the corruption in his purse doth put . One giues him for a bribe , a brawne or swine , And that 's drown'd with anothers But of wine , One giues a Coach all deckt and painted gay , Anothers horses drawes it quite away One giues a Iarre of Oyle to scape the foile , An O●e or'eturnes the Iarre , and spils the Oyle . And thus like Pharaohs Kine , he hath the power , To make the fattest bribes the leane deuoure . His motions moue commotions , and his suites Foure times a yeare doe termely yield him fruits . Foure sundry wayes a kingdomes Lawes are vs'd , By two maintained , and by two abus'd : Good Lawyers liue by Law , and t is most fit , Good men obey the Law , liue vnder it . Bad Lawyers ( for their gaine ) doe wrest the Law , Bad men of God or mans Law haue no awe . But whether these men vse Law well or i●l , Th'inten●ion of the Law is honest still . For as the text is rent , and torne , and varied , And by opinions from the sense is carried By ignorant and wilfull Hereticks , Or impure separating Scismaticks , Though from the truth of text all men should seuer , The text is permanent and sacred euer . Euen so the Law is in it selfe vpright , Correcting and protecting , wrong and right : T is no iust Lawyers , 〈◊〉 the lawes defame , Although some hounds of hell abuse the same . This Cormorant I meane , gulps whom he list , And hauing swallow'd fees into his fist , Defers the motion till the Court withdrawes , Then to the cushions pleads the poore mans cause , As formally as if the Iudges sate , No matter for the man , the money 's gat . My Cormorant was neuer match'd till now , If I sayd o're match'd , I le resolue you how , And you that reade it shall confesse it true , Perhaps it is a thing well knowne to you , Where Corm'rants haunts , numbers of fish grow lesse , But where bad Lawyers come , there brawles encrease . Now master Vndershriefe I vnderstand , You bring my Lawyers worke vnto his hand , You bring him stuffe , he like a Taylor cuts it . And into any shape he pleaseth puts it . Though to the Client it appeare slight stuffe , It shall out last him any sute of Buffe : For though from tearme to tearme it be worne long , T is drest still with the teazle of the tongue , That ( though it be old ) at euery day of hearing , It lookes fresh , as 't had neuer come to wearing . And though it seeme as th' owner neuer wore it , A broaker will not giue him three pence for it . Sweet master Shrieue , let it not grieue your minde , You being the last o' th broode , come last behinde , No doubt you might be first in a bad case , But being call'd vnder , I make this your place ; I know where ere you stand , you are so good , You 'll scorne to be vnlike one of the brood , And take 't in dudgeon ( as you might no doubt ) If'mongst this ranke of Corm'rants you were out . I haue a warrant here for what I doe , Plaine truth it selfe , and that haue seldome you . Some of your tribe a man may honest call , But those my Corm'rant meddles not withall . You that dare fright men of a shallow wit , Who cannot reade when there is nothing writ : And can returne ( when you are pleas'd to saue ) A Non inuentus for a bribing knaue . For one that stands indebted to the King A Nihil habet , if his purse can ring . When a poore man shall haue his Bullockes ceaz'd , And priz'd at little , to make you appeaz'd You haue the art and skill to raze words out Of Writs and Warrants , to bring gaine about . I will not serue you so , for if you looke , Your name stands fairely printed in my booke , For euery one to reade , how you can straine On widowes goods , and restore none againe . Picke Iuries for your purpose , which is worse Then if you pick'd the wronged plaintiffes purse : Returne your Writs to your aduantage best , Bring in some money , and drab ou● the rest . Leauing ( oft times ) the high Shrieue in the lurch , VVho stops the bounty should repayre the Church , Or buy some bels to sound forth his deuotion . If eyther ayre , or earth , or the wide ocean Can shew worse Cormorants , or any brooke , I 'le neuer aske a penny for my Booke . EPILOGVE . NOw Reader , tell me ( if thou well canst iudge ) If any honest man haue cause to grudge At these my Satyres , being plaine and true , Giuing the world and the diuell their due . I haue but bluntly call'd a spade a spade , And he that winceth shewes himselfe a iade . Be quiet , see thy faults , and learne t' amend , Thou shew'st thy guiltinesse if thou contend . FINIS . 
A13628	----	The colde tearme, or, The frozen age, or, The metamorphosis of the Riuer of Thames Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1621 Approx. 8 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 1 1-bit group-IV TIFF page image. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13628 STC 23910 ESTC S1149 21468147 ocm 21468147 24011 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13628) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 24011) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1737:6) The colde tearme, or, The frozen age, or, The metamorphosis of the Riuer of Thames Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1 broadside. s.n.], [London : 1621. In verse. Attributed to John Taylor by STC (2nd ed.). Place of imprint suggested by STC (2nd ed.). In two columns. Reproduction of original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Thames River (England) -- Poetry. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Chris Scherer Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Chris Scherer Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE COLDE TEARME : Or the Frozen Age : Or the Metamorphosis of the Riuer of Thames . 1621. IT was the time when men wore liquor'd bootes , When rugged Winter , murdred hearbes & rootes : When as the Heauens , the Earth did all attire With plashes , puddles , pooles , blacke dirt & mire . Then at that time ( to poore mens care and costs ) A Christmas came to Towne , betwixt two Frosts . Then in the num Colde month of Ianuary , When as the Sunne was lodg'd in moyst Aquary : When Boreas ( all with Isickles bedight ) Worse then a Barber , 'gan to shaue and bite , Turning Thames streames , to hard congealed flakes , And pearled water drops to Christall cakes . Th' adulterate Earth , long hauing play'd the whore , In bearing and in breeding bastards store , As Drunkards , swearers , leachers , Cheating knaues , Punkes , Panders , base extortionizing slanes , Rent-raising rascals , Villaines , Theeues , Oppressors , Vainglorious proude fooles , Gen'rall all transgressors , For which foule whordome , Heauen did think it meet , To make the Earth doe pennance in a * sheet . That punishment no sooner past and gon , But straight a Colde freeze coate she did put on . Which ( though herselfe were senceles , what she ayles ) It made her poorest bastards blowe their nayles . Whilst many of her Rich broode did agree , To make their stony hearts as hard as shee . The liquid Thames each where from shore to shore , With colde bak'd Paste , all pastycrusted o're . When in a Month no Waterman could share , The single benefit of halfe his Fare ; When a whole Tearme would not affoord a Boate , For miserable Fares to spend a Groate . Then * Charity ( in poore distresled state ) Vpon a Cake of Ice , lamenting late . Halfe hunger-steru'd , and thinly clad she quiuer'd , As if in peeces shee would straight haue shiuer'd , When as a Parson * ( that could neuer Preach , Yet to three Benefices well could reach ) Saw Charity to want both Foode and Cloathing , Past by , ne're spake to her , nor gaue her nothing . Next an Atturney * her poore Case did see , But all his Conscience wayted on his Fee : He walk'd along , and look'd a scaunt on her , And put his bounty off with a demurre . The third a Broker * , a base Houndsditch hound , That euery Month takes Eight-pence in the pound : He look'd on Charity , but nothing threw her , And vow'd that all his Life , he neuer knew her . A world of people more did thrust and throng , Yet none Relieu'd her as they past along : Vntill at last ( as she was like to Dye ) The Maisters of an Hospitall past by * ; They stay'd , and did compassionate her Case , And straight prouided her a Lodging place . There was a Vs'rer * , with his Purse fast shut , Did rayle at her and call'd her Idle slut : And said she to Virginia should be Shipt , Or to Bridewell be sent , and soundly whipt . But at the last ( to many a mizers Griefe ) Shee in an Hospitall did finde Reliefe : And whether shee be dead , or like to dye , Those that Relieue her better know then I. But once againe , I le turne me to my Theame , Of the conglutinated Frozen streame : Vpon whose Glassie face both too and fro , Fiue hundred people all at onee did goe . At Westminster there went three Horses ouer Which safely did from shore to shore recouer , There might be seene spic'd Cakes , and roasted Pigs , Beere , Ale , Tobacco , Apples , Nuts , and Figs , Fires made of Char-coles , Faggots , and Sea-coles , Playing and couz'ning at the Pidg'on-holes : Some , for two Pots at Tables , Cards , or Dice : Some slipping in betwixt two Cakes of * Ice : Some going on their businesse and affaires , From the Bank-side to Pauls , or to Trig-staires . And some there were ( which I almost forgot ) That thought the frozen streames were too too hot , 'T was safer for them ( they did vnderstand ) To walke vpon the water then the land . Some trod the Thames as boldly as the ground , Knowing their fortunes was not to be drownd . And sure the honest Riuer is so true , It will not rob the Gallowes of his due . The Begger 's follow'd men in troopes and flockes , And neuer fear'd the Constable or Stockes , The Cage , and whipping-post were idle bables , And lawes they count no more then Esops fables . This was a time when th'weakest went to'th'wall , When hackney Coaches got the deuill and all . Though thousands others want and sorrow seeles , Yet still with them the world did runne on wheeles . And sure more Coaches and Carroches , went In one day to the Tearme and Parlament : Then there past Wherries in a month and more , 'Twixt Essex , Middl'sex , Kent and Surry shore . And though for two mon'ths time , that fell together , Of Windes , Raine , Snow , and bitter Frosty wether . Though Water-men for number multiplies , Neere twenty thousand with their families ; Yet this vnto their praise I 'le truly speake , ( Though many of their states are meane and weake ) All this hard time , not one amongst them all , Did to dishonesty , or theeuing fall ; Therefore this commendations is their due , Though they are poore men , yet they still are true . I doubt not but a many Trades there bee , That hold their heads more higher farre then we . Yet if but eight weekes they had such poore dealing , They would fall neere to begg'ry , or to stealing . I dare affirme , that Water-men this Frost ( Amongst them ) twenty thousand pounds haue lost : And all that losse of theirs , was no mans gaine , But toyle and dirt by land , with cost and paine . And Gentlemen , as glad of Boates there are , As Water men will be to haue a fare . Thus was this Tearme , worse then the worst vacation , To those that vse a watry Occupation ; Whilst Trades by land did dayly purse vp Chinke , Bakers for bread , and Brewers for their drinke : Tapsters for Pots and Cans , with nick and froath , Mercers for Stuffes , and Drapers for their Cloath : Vintners for drunken heads , Cutlers for swords ; Sergeants for Fees , and Lawyers for good words : And in this gnashing age of Snow and Ice , The Wood-mongers did mount so high their price : That many did to lye a bed desire , To saue the charge of Wood , and Cole , and Fire . Amongst the Whores there were hot commings in , Who euer lost , they still were sure to win . They in one houre so strangely did heat men , That all the Frost they scarce were coole agen . The Vs'rers Bonds , and Landlords Rent came on , Most Trades had something to depend vpon ; Onely the Water-men iust nothing got , And yet ( by Gods good helpe ) they wanted not : But all had coyne , or credit , foode and fire , And what the neede of nature did require . So farewell Frost , if Charity be liuing , Poore men shall finde it , by the rich mens giuing . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13628-e10 * The Snow . * Though I name Charity , I meane 〈◊〉 , but 〈◊〉 Prouerb sayes , Charity is cold . * A pittiles Parson . * A merciles Lawyer . * An vnconscionable Broker . * Too good to bee true . * Too true to bee good . * Witnesse my selfe . A running whirling time . Truth amongst poore men is more rare , then honesty amongst the rich . Most ●ands got , onely Water-men lost . 
A19381	----	Mr Thomas Coriat to his friends in England sendeth greeting from Agra the capitall city of the dominion of the great Mogoll in the Easterne India, the last of October, 1616. Thy trauels and thy glory to ennamell, with fame we mount thee on the lofty cammell; ... . Coryate, Thomas, ca. 1577-1617. 1618 Approx. 46 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 25 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2008-09 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A19381 STC 5809 ESTC S118544 99853751 99853751 19146 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A19381) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 19146) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 577:06) Mr Thomas Coriat to his friends in England sendeth greeting from Agra the capitall city of the dominion of the great Mogoll in the Easterne India, the last of October, 1616. Thy trauels and thy glory to ennamell, with fame we mount thee on the lofty cammell; ... . Coryate, Thomas, ca. 1577-1617. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [52] p. Printed by I. B[eale], At London : 1618. With woodcut title vignette. Edited, with miscellaneous verses on Coryate by I.T., i.e. John Taylor. Signatures: [par].⁴ A⁴ a⁴ B-E⁴ (-[par].1 and E4, blank?). Leaf a3v is blank and a4 has a woodcut (as on A3v, C4v) on the recto and superscription on the verso; a variant has superscription on a3v and a4 blank. Imperfect: leaves A2,3 and C4 lacking, supplied by photostat from Penrose copy. Reproduction of the original in the Folger Shakespeare Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. Anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. Users should be aware of the process of creating the TCP texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. Text selection was based on the New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature (NCBEL). If an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in NCBEL, then their works are eligible for inclusion. Selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. In general, first editions of a works in English were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably Latin and Welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. Image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. Quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in Oxford and Michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet QA standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. After proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. Any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. Understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of TCP data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. Users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a TCP editor. The texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the TEI in Libraries guidelines. Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng India -- Description and travel -- Early works to 1800. 2006-08 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2006-09 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2007-02 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2007-02 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2008-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Mr Thomas Coriat to his friends in England sendeth greeting : From Agra the Capitall City of the Dominion of the Great MOGOLL in the Easterne India , the last of October , 1616. Thy Trauels and thy Glory to ennamell , With Fame we mount thee on the lofty Cammell ; But Cammels , Elephants , nor Horse nor Asse Can beare thy Worth , that worthlesse dost surpasse . The World 's the beast that must thy Palfrey be , Thou rid'st the World , and all the World rides thee . At London printed by I. B. 1618 Certaine Verses in commendations of this mirrour of footmanship , this Catholique or vniuersall Traueller , this European , Asian , African Pilgrime , this well letterd , well litterd discouerer and Cosmographicall describer Master Thomas Coriat of Odcombe . O Thou whose sharp toes cuts the Globe in quarters , Mongst Iewes & Greeks & tyrannizing Tartars : Whose glory through the vastie Welkin rumbles , And whose great Acts more then nine Muses mumbles , Whose ratling Fame Apollo's daughters thunders , Midst Africke monsters , and 'mongst Asian wonders . Accept these footed verses I implore thee , That heere ( Great Footman ) goe on foote before thee : To sing thy praise I would my Muse inforce , But that ( alas ) she is both harsh and hoarse : And therefore pardon this my Loues Epistle , For though she cannot sing , I le make her whistle . IN PRAISE OF THE Author Maister Thomas Coriat . THou that the world with pleasures full hast pleasur'd , And out of measure many kingdomes measur'd . Whil'st men ( like swine ) doe in their vices wallow , And not one dares for 's eares thy steps to follow : Not one within the Compasse of the Cope , Like thee that dar'st suruay the Horoscope : For who is he that dares call it a lye , That thou hast trotted into Italie ; By th' edge of France , and skirts of Spaine th' hast rambled , Through Belgia and through Germany th' ast ambled . And , Denmarke , Sweden , Norway , Austria , Pruce , Poland , Hungarie , Muscouia , With Thracia , and the land of merry Greekes , All these and more applaud thee , that who seekes Vpon the top of Mount Olimpus front , Perhaps may see thy name insculp'd vpon 't , And he that durst detract thy worthin Europe , I wish he may be hang'd vp in a new rope . It were a world of businesse to repeat Thy walkes through both the Asiaes , lesse and great , Whereas ( no doubt ) but thou hast tane suruay Of China and the kingdome of Catay . Th' East Indies , Persia , Parthia , Media , Armenia , and the great Ass-iria , Caldea , Iurie , ( if we not mistake vs ) Thou hast or'e look'd the Sea call'd Mortuus Lacus . And I durst venter somewhat for a wager Thou hast seene Ionia , Lidia , Misia Maior , Old Iliums Ruins , and the wracks of Priam , But of Inuention I ( alas ) so dry am , I beate my braines , and with outragious thumping , My lines fall from my pen with extreame pumping . Auaunt dull Morpheus , with thy Leaden spirit , Can matter want of him that wants no merit ? As he through Syria and Arabia's coasting , My lines from Asia into Africke poasting , I 'le follow him alongst the Riuer Nilus , In Egypt , where false Crocodiles beguile vs. Through Mauritania to the Towne of Dido , That slew her selfe by power of god Cupido . The Kingdomes vnsuruai'd hee 'le not leaue one From Zona● oride , to the Frozen Zone . With Prester Iohn in Aethiopia And th' ayrie Empire of Eutopia . A LITTLE REMEMBRANCE OF his variety of Tongues , and Politicke forme of TRAVELL . A Very Babell of confused Tongues Vnto thy little Microcosme belongs , That to what place soeuer thou doost walk , Thou wilt lose nothing through the want of talke . For thou canst kisse thy hand , and make a legge , And wisely canst in any language begge , And sure to begge 't is pollicie ( I note ) It sometimes saues the cutting of thy throat : For the worst thiefe that euer liu'd by stealth , Will neuer kill a beggar for his wealth . But who is 't but thy wisedome doth admire , That doth vnto such high conceits aspire . Thou tak'st the bounty of each bounteous giuer , And drink'st the liquor of the running riuer : Each Kitchin where thou com'st , thou hast a Cooke , Thou neuer run'st on score vnto the Brooke ; For if thou didst , the Brooke and thou would'st gree , Thou runst from it , and it doth run from thee . In thy returne from Agra and Assmere By thy relation following doth appeare , That thou dost purpose learnedly to fling A rare Oration to the Persian King. Then let the idle world prate this , and that , The Persian King will giue thee ( God knowes what ▪ ) And furthermore to me it wondrous strange is , How thou dost meane to see the Riuer Ganges , With Tigris , Euphrates , and Nimrods Babell , And the vnhappy place where Caine slew Abell . That if thou were in Hebrew circumsised , The Rabbyes all were wondrous ill aduised : Nay more , they were all Coxecombes , all starke mad To thinke thou wert of any Tribe but Gad. Sure , in thy youth thou eat'st much running fare , As Trotters , Neates-feete , and the swift-foot Hare , And so by inspiration fed , it bred Two going feet to beare one running head . Thou fil'st the Printers Presse with Griefe and mourning , Still gaping , and expecting thy returning : All Pauls-Church yard is fil'd with melancholy , Not for the want of Bookes , or wit ; but folly . It is for them , to grieue too much for thee , For thou wilt come when thou thy time shalt see . But yet at one thing much my Muse doth muse , Thou aust so many commendations vse Vnto thy Mother and to diuers friends , Thou hast ●●membred many kinde commends , And till the last thou didst forget thy Father , I know not why , but this conceit I gather , That as men sitting at a feast to eat , Begin with Beefe , Porke , Mutton , and such meate ; And when their stomacks are a little cloyd , This first course then the voyder doth auoid : The anger of their hunger being past , The Pheasant and the Partridge comes at last . This ( I imagine ) in thy mindedid fail , To note thy Father last to close vp all . First to thy Mother here thou dost commend , And lastly to thy Father thou dost send : She may command in thee a Filiall awe , But he is but thy Father by the Law. To heare of thee , mirth euery heart doth cheere , But we should laugh out-right to haue thee heere . For who is it that knowes thee , but would choose , Farther to haue thy presence then thy newes . Thou shewest how well thou setst thy wits to worke , In tickling of a misbeleeuing Turke : He cal'd thee Giaur , but thou so well didst answer ( Being hot and fiery , like to crabbed Caneer ) That if he had a Turke of ten pence bin , Thou told'st him plaine the errors he was in ; His Alkaron , his Moskyes are whim-whams , False bug-beare bables , fables all that dams , Sleights of the Deuill , that brings perpetuall woe , Thou wast not mealy mouth'd to tell him so . And when thy talke with him thou didst giue ore , As wise he parted as he was before : His ignorance had not the power to see Which way or how to edifie by thee : But with the Turke ( thus much I build vpon ) If words could haue done good , it had beene done . The superscription , Sent from Azmere , the Court of the great and mightiest Monarch of the East , called the Great MOGVLL in the Easterne Jndia : To be conuaid To my deare and louing Mother Mris : Garthered Coriat , at her house in the Towne of Euill in Somersetshire . I pray you deliuer this letter at Gerards Hall to Christopher Guppie a Carrier , ( if he be yet liuing ) or else to some other honest trusty Messenger , to be conuaid with all conuenient speed to the place aforesaid . ❧ Master Thomas Coriats Commendations to his friends in FromAgra the Capitall City of the Dominion of the Great MOGOLL in the Easterne India , the last of October , 1616. Most deare and welbeloued Mother , THough I haue superscribed my letter from Azmere , the Court of the greatest Monarch of the East called the Great Magoll in the Eastern India , which I did to this end , that those that haue the charge of conueiance thereof , perceiuing such a title , may be the more carefull and diligent to conuey it safely to your hands : yet in truth the place from which I wrote this letter is Agra , a City in the said Eastern India , which is the Metropolitan of the whole Dominion of the foresaid King Mogol , & 10 daies iourny frō his Court at the said Azmere . Frō the same Azmere I departed the 12 day of September , An. 1616 , after my abode there 12 moneths & 60 daies ; which though I confesse it were a too long time to remaine in one and the selfesame place , yet for two principall causes it was very requisite for me to remaine there some reasonable time : first to learne the languages of those Countries , through which I am to passe betwixt the bounds of the Teritories of this Prince and Christendome , namely these three , the Persian , Turkish , and Arab : which I haue in some competent measure attained vnto by my labour and industry at the said Kings Court , matters as auaileable vnto me as mony in my purse , as being the cheifest or rather onely meane to get me mony if I should happen to be destitute , a matter very incidentall to a poore Footman Pilgrim , as my selfe in these heathen and Mahometan Countries through which I trauell : Secondly , that by the helpe of one of those languages , I meane the Persian , I might both procure vnto my selfe accesse vnto the King , & be able to expresse my mind vnto him about the matter for the which I should haue occasiō to discours with him . These were the reasōs that moued me so long to tarry at the Mogols court , during which time I abode in the house of the English Merchants my deare Countrimen , not spending one little peece of mony either for diet , washing , lodging ▪ or any other thing . And as for the Persian tongue , which I studied very earnestly , I attained to that reasonable skill , and that in a fewe moneths , that I made an Oration vnto the King before many of his Nobles in that language , and after I had ended the same , discoursed with his Maiesty also in that tongue very readily & familiarly ; the coppy of which speech , though the tong it selfe wil seem to an Englishman very strange & vncuth , as hauing no kind of affinity with any of our Christian languages , I haue for nouelty sake written out in this letter , together with the translation thereof in English , that you may shew it to some of my lerned friends of the Clergy , and also of the temporalty in Euil , and elswere , who belike , wil take some pleasure in reading so rare and vnusuall a tongue as this is . The Persian is this that followeth . ¶ The Copie of an Oration that I made in the Persian tongue , to the great Mogoll , before diuers of his Nobles . HAzaret Aallum pennah salamet , fooker Daruces ve tehaungeshta hastamkemta emadam az wellagets door , ganne az mulk Inglizan : ke kessanaion pet heē mushacas cardand ke wellagets , mazcoor der akers magrub bood , ke mader hamma rezzaerts dunmast . Sabebbe amadane mari mia boosti char cheez ast auval be dedane mobarreckdeedars . Hazaret ke seete caramat ba hamma Trankestan reeseedast ooba tamam mulk Musulmanan der sheenedan awsaffe . Hazaret daueeda amadam be deedane astawne akdas musharaf geshtam duum bray deedane feelhay Hazaret , kin chunm ianooar der heech mulk ne dedam seu in bray deedane namwer daryaee shumma Gauga , ke Serdare hamma daryaha dumiest . Chaharum een ast , keyec fermawne alishaion amayet fermoyand , ke betwanam der wellay●tts Vzbeck raftan ba shahre Samarcand , bray Zeerat cardan cabbre mobarrec Saheb crawncah awsaffe tang oo mosachere oo der tamam aallum meshoor ast belkder wellagette Vzbec eencader meshoor neest chunan che der malc Inglisan a st digr , bishare eshteeac daram be deedanc mobarrec mesare Saheb crawnca bray een sabeb , che awne sama n che focheer de shabr stambol boodam , ycaiaeb cohua amarat deedam dermean yecush bawg nasdec shaht mascoor coia che padshaw Eezawiawn che namesh Manuel bood che Saheb crawnca cush mehmannec aseem carda bood , baad as gristane Sulten Baiasetra as iange aseem che shuda bood nas dec shahre Bursa , coimache Saheb crawn Sultan Baiasetra de Zenicera tellaio bestand , oo der cafes nahadondeen char chees meera as mulche man ium baneed tamia , as mulc . Room oo Arrac peeada geshta , as door der een mulc reseedam , che char hasar pharsang raw darad , beshare derd oo mohuet casheedam che heech ches der een dunnia een cader mohuet ne casheedast bray deeaune mobarrec dedare Haseretet awn roos che be tacte shaugh ne shaughee m●sharaf fermoodand . The English of it is this . LOrd a Protector of the world all haile to you ▪ I am a poore Traueller and world seer , which am come hither from a farre country , namely England , which auncient Historians thought to haue been scituated in the farthest bounds of the West , and which is the Queene of all the Ilands in the world . The cause of my comming hither is for foure respects . First to see the blessed face of your Maiesty , whose wonderfull fame hath resounded ouer all Europe & the Mahometan Countries . Whē I heard of the fame of your Maiesty , I hastened hither with speed and trauelled very cherefully to see your glorious Court. Secondly , to see your Maiesties Elephants , which kind of beasts I haue not seen in any other country . Thirdly , to see your famous Riuer Ganges , which is the Captaine of all the Rieuer of the world . The fourth is this , to intreat your Maiesty that you would vouchsafe to grant mee your gracious Passe that I may trauell into the Country of Tartaria to the Citty of Samarcand , to visit the blessed Sepulcher of the Lord of the Corners ( this is a title that is giuen to Tamberlaine in this Country in that Persian language , and wheras they call him the Lord of the Corners , by that they meane that he was Lord of the corners of the world , that is , the highest and supreme Monarch of the Vniuerse ) : whose fame by reason of his warres and victories , is published ouer the whole world : perhaps he is not altogether so famous in his own Country of Tartaria , as in England . Moreouer , I haue a great desire to see the blessed Toombe of the Lord of the Corners for this cause ; for that when I was at Constantinople , I saw a notable old building in a pleasant garden neer the said City , where the Christian Emperor that was called Emanuell made a sumptuous great Banquet to the Lord of the Corners , after he had taken Sultan Batazet in a great battell that was fought neere the City of Bursia , where the Lord of the Corners bound Sultan Batazet in fetters of Gold , and put him in a cage of Iron . These 4 causes moued me to come out of my natiue Country thus farre , hauing trauelled a foote through Turky and Persia , so farre haue I traced the world into this Country , that my pilgrimage hath accomplished three thousand miles , wherin I haue sustained much labour and toile , the like wherof no mortall man in this World did euer performe to see the blessed face of your Maiesty since the first day that you were inaugurated in your glorious Monarchall throne . After I had ended my speech , I had some short discourse with him in the Persian tongue who amongst other things told me , that concerning my trauell to the City of Samarcand , he was not able to doe me any good , because there was no great amity betwixt the Tartarian Princes and himselfe , so that his commendatory letters would doe me no good . Also he added , that the Tartars did so deadly hate all Christians , that they would certainely kill them when they came into their Country . So that he earnestly diswaded me frō the iourny , if I loued my life and welfare ; at last he concluded his discourse with me by a sum of mony that he threw downe from a windowe through which he looked out , into a sheete tied vp by the foure corners , and hanging very neer the ground a hundred peeces of siluer , each worth two shillings sterling , which coūteruailed ten pounds of our English mony : this busines I carried so secretly by the help of my Persian , that neither our English Ambassador , nor any other of my Countrimen ( sauing one speciall , priuate , & intrinsical friend ) had the least inkling of it , till I had throughly accomplished my designe : for I well knew that our Ambassador ▪ would haue stopped and Barracadocd all my proceeding therein , if he might haue had any notice thereof , as indeed he signified vnto me after I had effected my proiect , aleaging this forsooth for his reason why he would haue hindered me , because it would redound some what to the dishonour of our Nation , that one of our Countrey should present himselfe in that beggarly and poore fashion to the King out of an insinuating humor to craue mony of him , but I answered our Ambassador in that stout & resolute manner after I had ended my busines , that he was contented to cease nibling at me , neuer had I more need of mony in all my life then at that time : for in truth I had but twenty shillings sterling left in my purse by reason of a mischance I had in one of the Turkes Cities called Emert in the country of Mesopotamia , where a miscreant Turke stripped me of almost all my monies , according as I wrote vnto you in a very large letter the last yeer , which I sent from the Court of this mighty Monarch by one of my Countrimen that went home by Sea in an English shippe laden with the commodities of this India , which letter I hope came to your hands long since . After I had been with the King , I went to a certaine noble & generous Christian of the Armeniā race , 2 daies iourny frō the Mogols court , to the end to obserue certain remarkable matters in the same place , to whom by means of my Persian tongue I was so welcome that hee entertained me with very ciuill and courteous complement , and at my departure gaue mee very bountifully twenty peeces of such kind of mony as the King had done before , coūteruailing 40 shillings sterling . About ten daies after that , I departed frō Azmere the court of the Mogol Prince , to the end to begin my Pilgrimage after my long rest of fourteen moneths back againe into Persia , at what time our Ambassador gaue mee a peece of Gold of this Kings Coine worth foure and twenty shillings , which I will saue ( if it be possible ) till my ariuall in England : so that I haue receiued for beneuolences since I came into this country twenty markes sterling sauing two shillings eight pence , & by the way vppon the confines of Persia alitle before I came into this country three and thirty shillings foure pence in Persian mony of my Lady Sherly : at this present I haue in the City of Agra where hence I wrote this letter , about twelue pounds sterling , which according to my maner of liuing vppon the way at two-pence sterling a day ( for with that proportion I can liue pretty well , such is the cheapnes of all eatable things in Asia , drinkable things costing nothing , for seldome doe I drinke in my pilgrimage any other liquor then pure water ) will mainetaine mee very competently three yeeres in my trauell with meate drinke and clothes . Of these gratuities which haue been giuen me willingly , would I send you some part as a demonstration of the filiall loue and affection which euery child bred in ciuility and humility ought to performe to his louing and good mother : but the distance of space betwixt this place and England , the hazard of mens liues in so long a ioureny , and also the infidelity of many men , who though they liue to come home , are vnwilling to render an account of the things they haue receiued , doe not a little discourage me to send any precious token vnto you ; but if I liue to come one day to Constantinople againe ( for thither doe I resolue to goe once more by the grace of Christ , and therehence to take my passage by land into Christendom ouer renouned Greece ) I wil make choice of some substantial & faithfull Countriman , by whom I will send some prety token as an expression of my dutifull and obedient respect vnto you . I haue not had the oppertunity to see the King of Persia as yet since I came into this country , but I haue resolued to goe to him when I come next into his Territories , and to search him out wheresoeuer I can find him in his Kingdome ; for seeing I can discourse with him in his Persian tongue , I doubt not but that going vnto him in the forme of a Pilgrime , he will not onely entertaine me with good words , but also bestow some worthy reward vpon me beseeming his dignity and person ; for which cause I am prouided before hand with an excellent thing written in the Persian tongue that I meane to present vnto him : and thus I hope to get beneuolences of worthy persons to maintaine me in a competent maner in my whole pilgrimage till I come into England , which I hold to be as laudable & a more secure course then if I did continually carry store of mony about mee . In the letter which I wrote vnto you by an English ship the last yeere , I made relation vnto you both of my iourny from the once holy Hierusalem hither and of the state of this Kings Court , and the Customes of this Country , therfore I hold it superfluous to repeat the same things againe , but what the countryes are , that I meane to see betwixt this and Christendome , and how long time I will spend in each country , I am vnwilling to aduertise you of at this present , desiring rather to signify that vnto you after I haue performed my designe then before ; howbeit in few words , I will tell you of certaine Cities of great renown in former times , but now partly ruined , that I resolue ( by Gods help ) to see in Asia , where I now am , namely ancient Babilon & Nymrods Tower , some few miles from Niniue , & in the same the Sepulcher of the Prophet Ionas , spacious & goodly ; Caire in Egypt , heretofore Memphis , vpō the famous Riuer Nilus , where Moises , Aron , & the children of Israel liued with king Pharaoh , whose ruined Palace is shewed there til this day , & a world of other mouable things as memorable as any City of the whole world yeeldeth , sauing only Ierusalem : but in none of these or any other Cities of note do I determin to linger as I haue done in other places , as in Constantinople , and Azmere , in this Easterne India , onely some few daies will I tarry in a principall city of fame , to obserue euery principal matter there and so be gone . In this City of Agra where I am now , I am to remaine about six weekes longer , to the end to expect an excellent oportunity , which then will offer it selfe vnto me to goe to the famous Riuer Ganges , about fiue daies iourny from this , to see a memorable meeting of the gentle people of this country called Baieans , whereof about foure hundred thousand people go thither of purpose to bathe and shaue themselues in the Riuer , and to sacrifice a world of gold to the same Riuer , partly in stamped mony , & partly in massy great lumpes and wedges , throwing it into the Riuer as a sacrifice , and doing other strange Ceremonies most worthy the obseruation , such a notable spectacle it is , that no part of all Asia , neither this which is called the great Asia , nor the lesser , which is now called Natolia , the like is to be seen ; this shew doe they make once euery yeere , comming thither from places almost a thousand miles off , and honour their Riuer as their God , Creator , and Sauiour ; superstition and impiety most abominable in the highest degree of these brutish Ethnicks , that are aliens from Christ & the common-wealth of Israel . After I haue seen this shew , I wil with all expedition repaire to the city of Lahore , twenty daies iourny from this and so into Persia by the helpe of my blessed Christ . Thus haue I imported vnto you some good accidents that happened vnto me since I wrote a letter vnto you the last yeere from the Kings Court , & some litle part of my resolution for the disposing of a part of my time of abode in Asia : Therefore now I will draw to a conclusion ; the time I cannot limit when I shall come home , but as my mercifull God and Sauiour shall dispose of it . A long rabble of commēdations like to that which I wrote in my last letter to you I hold not so requisite to make at this present : Therefore with remembrance of some fewe friends names , I will shut vp my present Epistle . I pray you recommend me first in Odcombe to Master Gollop , and euery good body of his family , if he liueth yet , to Master Berib , his wife and all his Family , to all the Knights , William Chunt , Iohn Selly , Hugh Donne , and their wiues , to Master Atkins & his wife at Norton , I pray commend me in Euill to these , to old Mr Seward if he liueth , his wife and children ; the poore Widow Darby , old Master Dyer , and his Sonne Iohn , Master Ewins old and young with their wiues , Master Phelpes and his wife , Master Starre and his wife , with the rest of my good friends there , ( I had almost forgotten your husband ) to him also , to Ned Barber and his wife , to William Ienings : commend me also I pray you , & that with respectfull and dutifull termes to the godly and reuerent fraternitie of Preachers that euery second Friday meet at a religious exercise at Euill , at the least if that exercise doth continue , pray read this letter to them , for I thinke they wil be well pleased with it by reason of the nouelties of things . And so finally I commit you and all them to the blessed protection of Almighty God. From Agra the Capitall of the Dominion of the great Mogoll in the Easterne India the last of October 1616. Your dutifull louing and obedient Sonne , now a desolate Pilgrim in the World. THOMAS CORIAT . ❧ The Copy of a speech that J made to a Mahometan in the Italian tongue . THe Coppy of a speech that I made extempore in the Italian tongue to a Mahometan at a Citie called Moltan in the Easterne India , two daies iourny beyond the famous Riuer Indus , which I haue passed , against Mahomet and his accursed Religion , vpon the occasiō of a discurtesie offered vnto mee by the said Mahometan in calling me Gtaur , that is infidell , by reason that I was a Christian : the reason why I spake to him in Italian , was because he vnderstood it , hauing been taken slaue for many yeeres since by certaine Florentines in a Gally wherein hee passed from Constantinople towards Alexandra , but being by them interrupted by the way , he was carried to a Citie called Ligorne in the Duke of Florences Dominions , where after two yeeres he had learned good Italian , but he was an Indian borne and brought vp in the Mahometan Religion . I pronounced the speech before an hundred people , whereof none vnderstood it but himselfe , but hee afterward told the meaning of some part of it as far as he could remember it to some of the others also . If I had spoken thus much in Turky , or Persia against Mahomet they would haue rosted me vpon a spitt ; but in the Mogols Dominions a Christian may speake much more freely then hee can in any other Mahometan Country in the world . The speech was this as I afterward translated it into English . But I pray thee tell me thou Mahometan , dost thou in sadnes call me Giaur ? that I doe quoth he , then ( quoth I ) in very sobersadnes I retort that shamefull word in thy throate , and tell thee plainly that I am a Musulman and thou art a Giaur : For by that Arab word Musulman thou dost vnderstand that which cannot be properly applied to a Mahometan but onely to a Christian , so that I doe consequently inferre that there are two kindes of Muselmen , the one an Orthomusulmā , that is a true Musulman which is a Christian & the other a Pseudo-musulman that is a false Musulman which is a Mahometan . What , thy Mahomet was from whom thou dost deriue thy Religion , assure thy selfe I know better then any one of the Mahometans amongst many millions : yea all the particular circumstances of his life and death , his Nation , his Parentage , his driuing Camels through Egipt , iria , and Palestina , the marriage of his Mistris , by whose death he raised himselfe from a very base and contemtible estate to great honor and riches , his manner of cozening the sottish people of Arabia , partly by a tame Pigeon that did fly to his eare for meat , and partly by a tame Bull that hee fed by hand euery pay , with the rest of his actions both in peace and warre : I know aswell as if I had liued in his time , or had beene one of his neighbours in Mecca , the truth whereof if thou didst know aswell , I am perswaded thou wouldest spit in the face of thy Alcaron , and trample it vnder thy feete , and bury it vnder a Iaxe , a booke of that strange and weake matter , that I my selfe ( as meanely as thou dost see me attired now ) haue already written two better bookes ( God be thanked ) and will hereafter this , ( by Gods gratious permission ) write another better and truer , yea I wold haue thee know ( thou Mahometan ) that in that renouned Kingdome of England where I was borne , learning doth so flourish , that there are many thousand boies of sixteene yeeres of age ▪ that are able to make a more learned booke then thy Alcaron , neither was it ( as thou and the rest of you Mahometans doe generally beleue ) composed wholy by Mahomet , for hee was of so dull a wit , as he was not able to make it without the helpe of another , namely a certaine Renegado Monke of Constantinople , called Sergis . So that his Alcoran was like an arrow drawne out of the quiuer of another man. I perceiue thou dost wonder to see me so much inflamed with anger , but I would haue thee consider it is not without great cause I am so moued , for what greter indignity can there be offered to a Christian which is an Arthomusulman , thē to be called Giaur by a Giaur : for Christ ( whose Religion I professe ) is of that incomparable dignity , that as thy Mahomet is not worthy to bee named that yeere wherein my blessed Christ is , so neither is his Alcoron worthy to be named that yeere wherein the * Iuieel of my Christ is . I haue obserued among the Mahometans such a foolish forme of praier euer since my departure from Spahan , ( which I confesse was no nouelty vnto me , for that I had obserued the like before both in Constantinople and diuers other Turkish cities ) that what with your vain repetions & diuers other prophane fooleries contained therein ▪ I am certaine your praiers doe euen stinke before God , and are of no more force then the cry of thy Camell when thou doest lade or vnlade him : But the praiers of Christians haue so preuailed with God , that in time of drought they haue obtained conuenient aboundance of raine , and in time of pestilence a suddaine cessation from the plague , such an effect of holy and feruent praier as neuer did the * Scofferalahs , or the Allamissel alow of any Mahometan produce : yet must wee , whose praiers like a sweete smelling sacrifice are acceptable to God , be esteemed Giaurs by those whose praiers are odious vnto his Diuine Maiestie : O times ! O maners ! Now as I haue told thee the difference betwixt the effect of our Christian & your Mahometan praiers , so I pray thee obserue another difference betwixt you & vs , that I will presently intimate vnto thee : thou by the obseruation of the Law of thy rediculous Alcaron dost hope for Paradice , wherein thy Master Mahomet hath promised Riuers of Rice , and to Virgins the imbracing of Angels vnder the shaddowe of spacious Trees , though in truth that Paradice be nothing else then a filthy quagmire so full of stincking dung-hils that a man cannot walke two spaces there but he shall stumble at a dung-hill and defile himselfe , but where this Paradice is , not one amongst a thousand of you knoweth , therefore I will tell thee , it standeth in a Country scituate betwixt Heauen and Earth called Vtopia , whereof there is mention in the third book of thy Alcaron and in the seuen and thirty Asaria , but expressed with those misticall and obscure termes that is very difficult to vnderstand it , for this Vtopian Paradice I say as the reward of al your superstitious mumbling in your praiers , and the often ducking downe of your heads when you kisse the ground , with such a deuoute humilitie forsooth , doe you Mahometans hope in another world : But wee Christians hope to liue with God and his blessed Angels for euer and euer in Heauen , as being a proper and pecullar inheritance purchased vnto vs by the precious blood of our Christ , yet must wee be reputed Giaurs by those that are Giaurs ? One thing more will tell thee ( O thou Mahometan ) and so I will conclude this tedious speech , whereunto thy discurtious calling of me Giaur hath inforced mee , and I prethee obserue this my conclusion . Learning ( which is the most precious Iewell that man hath in this life , by which he attaineth to the knowledge of diuine and humane things ) commeth to man either by reuelatiō which we otherwise cal inspiration , or by industry : Learning by reuelation I cal that which God doth infuse from aboue by his special grace , vnto those whō he will vse as the instruments of his glory , who without labour or trauell doe aspire to a most eminent degree of knowledge . Learning by industry I call it that which a man doth purchase to himselfe by continuall writing and reading , by practise and meditation : now by neither of these meanes haue the Mahometans acquired any meane , much lesse any singular learning , for as Mahomet himselfe was a man of a very superficiall and meane learning , so neuer was there any one of his Disciples in any part of the world that was indued with any profound knowledge ▪ but wee Christians by the one and the other meane , haue attained to the most exquisite science that can be incident to man : * some of our men that neuer were brought vp in Studies hauing been so expert in a generall learning ( onely by Gods speciall illumination ) as those haue spent forty yeeres in the practise thereof , and others by continuall practise of writing and reading , haue beene so excellent , that they became the very Lampes and Stars of the Countries wherein they liued . These things being so , it cannot possible come to passe that the omnipotent God should deale so partially with mankind as to reueale his will to a people altogether misled in ignorance and blindnes as you Mahometans are , and conceale it from vs Christians that bestowe all our life time in the practise of diuine and humane disciplines , and in the ardent inuocation of Gods holy name with all sincerity and purity of heart ? Goe to then thou Pseu-domusulman , that is , thou false-beleeuer , since by thy iniurious imputation laid vpon mee , in that thou calledst mee Giaur , thou hast prouoked mee to speake thus . I pray thee let this mine answere be a warning for thee not to scandalize mee in the like manner any more , for the Christian Religion which I professe , is so deare and tender vnto mee that neither thou nor any other Mahometan shal scotfree call me Giaur , but that I will quit you with an answer muchto the wonder of those Mahometans ▪ I pray you Mother expect no more letters from me after this till my arriuall in Christendom , because I haue resolued to write no more while I am in the Mahometans Countries , thinking that it will be a farre greater comfort both to you and to all my friends whatsoeuer , to heare newes that I haue accomplished my trauelles in Mahometisme , then that I am comming vp and down , to and fro in the same , without any certainty of an issue therof ; therfore I pray haue patiēce for a time : about two yeers and a halfe hence I hope to finish these Mahometan trauelles , and then either from the Citie of Raguzi in Sclauonia which is a Christian Citie and the first we enter into Christendome , from those parts of Turky by Land nere vnto the same or , from famous Venice , I will very dutifully remember you againe with lines full of filiall piety and officious respect . I haue written two letters to my Vncle Williams since I came forth of England and no more , whereof one from the Mogols Court the last yeere , iust at the same time that I wrote vnto you ; and another now , which I sent ●ointly by the same Messenger that carried yours out of India by Sea. Once more I recommend you and all our hearty wel-willers & friends to the gratious tuition of the Lord of Hosts ; I pray you remember my duty to Master Hancoke that reuerend and Apostolicall good old man , and his wife , if they are yet liuing ; to their Sonnes Thomas and Iohn , and their Wiues . FINIS . Master Thomas Coriat . SOme may perhaps suppose this Prose is mine , But all that know thee will be sworne 't is thine : For ( as 't was said b'a learned Cambridge Scholler ) ( Who knowes the style , may smell it by the Coller ) : The Prose ( I sweare ) is Coriats , he did make it , And who dares claime it from him , let him take it . THE AVTHOR OF the Verse , takes leaue of the Author of the Prose , desiring rather to see him , then to heare from him . THose Rimes before thy meaning doth vnclose , Which men perhaps haue blundred ore in Prose : And 't is a doubt to me , whose paines is more , Thou that didst write , or they that read them o're : My Scullers muse without or Art or skill , In humble seruice ( with a Gooses quill ) Hath tane this needles , fruitles paines for thee , Not knowing when thou l't doe as much for me . But this is not the first , nor shall not be The last ( I hope ) that I shall write for thee . For when newes thou wast drown'd did hither come , I wrote a mournefull Epicedium . And after when I heard it was a lye , I wrote of thy suruiuing presently . Laugh and be fat , the Scullers booke , and this Shewes how my minde to thee addicted is ; My Loue to thee hath euer more been such , That in thy praise I nere can write too much : And much I long to see thee heere againe , That I may welcome thee in such a straine That shall euen cracke my pulsiue pi●mater , In warbling thy renowne by land and water : Then shall the Fame which thou hast won on foot ( Mongst Hethens , Iews , Turks , Negroes ( black as soot ) Ride on my best Inuention like an Asse , To the amazement of each Owliglasse . In praise of the Author , Till when fare well ( if thou canst get good fare ) Content's a feast , although the feast be bare . Let Eolus and Neptune be combinde , With Sea auspicious , and officious winde ; In thy returne with speed to blow thee backe , That we may laugh , lie downe , and mourne in Sacke . J. T. Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A19381-e2370 a This is the ordinary title that is giuen him by all strangers Notes for div A19381-e3700 * This doe all Mahometans call our Gospell or the History of our Saniour , written by the foure Evangelists . * Words that the Mahometans doe often repeat in their praiers . * I mean the blessed Apostles of our Sauiour . 
A25840	----	The armies letanie, imploring the blessing of God on the present proceedings of the armie by the author of Mercurius melancholicus. Author of Mercurius melancholicus. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A25840 of text R22407 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing A3714). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 9 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A25840 Wing A3714 ESTC R22407 12060535 ocm 12060535 53224 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A25840) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 53224) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 49:19) The armies letanie, imploring the blessing of God on the present proceedings of the armie by the author of Mercurius melancholicus. Author of Mercurius melancholicus. Crouch, John, fl. 1660-1681. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. M. P. (Martin Parker), d. 1656? Hackluyt, John. [8] p. s.n.], [London : 1647. A ballad in the form of a mock litany stairizing the army and Parliament. The principal author of Mercurius melancholicus (1647-1649) was John Hackluyt; but rival periodicals with the same name sporadically appeared, one by John Crouch, another by Martin Parker and John Taylor. The anti-Presbyterian tone of this ballad denies Hackluyt's authorsip but is quite suitable to the verse of Crouch, Parker, or Taylor. Place of publication from Wing. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng England and Wales. -- Army -- Anecdotes England and Wales. -- Parliament -- Anecdotes Political satire, English. A25840 R22407 (Wing A3714). civilwar no The armies letanie, imploring the blessing of God on the present proceedings of the armie. By the author of Mercurius melancholicus. Author of Mercurius melancholicus 1647 1388 1 0 0 0 0 0 7 B The rate of 7 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. 2006-03 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2006-03 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2006-05 Jonathan Blaney Sampled and proofread 2006-05 Jonathan Blaney Text and markup reviewed and edited 2006-09 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE ARMIES LETANIE , Imploring the Blessing of God on the present proceedings of the Armie . By the Author of Mercurius Melancholicus . Printed in the Yeere 1647. The Armies Letany . SInce that no wise man dares to say , Put the Army if they list they may Save us or bring us to decay : Therefore let 's pray . From any Souldier whose intent Is to ore-awe the Parliament , And with his pay won't be content . Libera nos . From Sutlers wives with faces tallow , Who with their Trulls the Army follow , From a Commander in chiefe , whose wit is shallow . Libera nos . From a Souldier that sweares , yet dares not fight , But would plunder London if he might , From meeting a partie late in the night . Libera nos . From a Trooper that 's mounted on a leane jade , And of cutting throats has learnt the trade ; From digging with a sword instead of a Spade . Libera nos . Frim bed-cord Match and priming Powder , From hearing the Drum speak louder and louder , From him that growes poor , and yet waxeth prouder . Libera nos . From underminings and counterminings , From Souldiers groanes and womens whinings , From Booker and Lillies false divinings . Libera nos . From Morter Pieces , and Hand Granadoes , From Blockings up , and Barracadoes , From discontented Reformadoes . Libera nos . From Southwark-men , who are but Treachours , From Countrey Fooles , and City Lechers , From Sheriffs , Bailiffs , and Counter-catchers , Libera nos . From buying of our peace with money , From a false-hearted knave , whose words are honey , From a Whores temptations who hath a hot — Libera nos . From Harunies Pamphlets , and his fine Stories Of Asses , Mules , and Dromedaries , From Presbyterian Consistories , Libera nos . From a Buffe-coat blade that needs will preach , From the doctrine the Anabaptists teach , From a Committee-man , or any such horse-leach , Libera nos . From good pretences , and bad intentions , From hopes of plunder , and base inventions , From Peters , when his dreames he mentions , Libera nos . From being perswaded out of our lives , Our coine , goods , children , and our wives , By those who for our ruine strives , Libera nos . From a Winters Plague , and Summers Warre , From sleeping till we ruin'd are , From those that do delight to jarre , Libera nos . From those that now like Princes sing , Making themselves , but marre the King , From an Independent point , and a Presbyters sting , Libera nos . From laying claime to more then is ours , From riding on the backs of the higher Powers , From a brother that laughs and a sister that lowres , Libera nos . From an Agitator that stormes and frets , And goodly Monsters each day begets , From a Scotch mist that devillishly wets . Libera nos . From the Parliaments Climactricall yeare , From the Sectaries hopes and the Cities feare , From being forc'd against our consciences to sweare . Libera nos . From * 49. and * 52. And those Ills we then are like to view , From old errours that are reviv'd anew Libera nos . From a begging Scholler , or small beere Poet , Who can scarce write sense yet the world must know it , From him that 's scabby and glories to show it . Libera nos . From setling all things by the sword , From those that hate our Soveraigne Lord Let England say with one accord , Libera nos Domine . THat it may please thy omnipotence , Father of all excellence , All jarres and strifes to banish hence . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee our Sir Thomas May now at length fulfill his promise In setling the King , who long hath been from us . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee the Army may Consider what a preposterous way It is to impeach thus every day . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee to let them see How hard those Propositions be Were lately showne His Majestie . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee , they may not rejoyce , Nor yet with pride lift up their voice . But to maintaine the truth make choice . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee as hitherto They have done , what thou bidst them to do , They the same temper still may show . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee , we desire , The Citizens may never tire To doe what the Army doth require . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee , they may invent New waies against the moneyes spent They are to have , more may be lent . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee with mild cheare They may bow downe their backs to beare , They will be wiser sure next yeare . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee untill then , My Lord Mayor and the Aldermen , May re-inforce their Charter agen . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee for to blesse The Southwarkians with happinesse , For that they gave the Army accesse . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee all Flesh-flies , With L●ke 〈◊〉 beards egregious lies , May be abhorr'd by all that 's wise . Quaefumus te . That it may please thee the Army may No longer let the Tub-men pray Extempore , and what they list to say . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee they may declare Those Round-heads , whose deeds are not square , To be amongst them unworthy are . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee since 't is in them For to dispose the Diadem , With it they Charles his browes may hem . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee , they may vie With those that would have Anarchie , And surely settle Monarchie . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee , the Army knowing To what a height things now are growing , May stop those floods that in are flowing . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee to perswade the Scot To be contented with his owne lot , For he must lose the footing he got . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee , the good the Army intend Us , in the receiving may not offend , And so at once have birth and end . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee the bloods of those Who some yeares past their lives did lose , 'Twixt us and God mai'nt interpose . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee we may thinke on Our present dire confusion , Caus'd by the Devills delusion . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee shew the King Thy strange and wondrous managing Doth make for him in every thing . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee the world may see Thy justice great and good to bee , And what 's the end of treacherie . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee now at last , The King may in his Throne be plac't , And those that hate him downe be cast . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee to let him be Assured that Aristocracie Will ever cause confederacie . Quaesumus te . That it may please thee he so may raigne , And his Sonnes when the Crowne they gaine , England may ever in peace remaine . Quaesumus te . So shall we be as once we were , The Almighties love , the Nations feare , And then we in each street shall heare Benedicamus Domino . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A25840e-90 * 1649. * 1652. If the world last so long . 
A34591	----	Cornu-copia, or, Roome for a ram-head wherein is described the dignity of the ram-head above the round-head or rattle-head. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A34591 of text R14987 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing C6328 T445). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 10 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 4 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A34591 Wing C6328 Wing T445 ESTC R14987 12650271 ocm 12650271 65269 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A34591) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 65269) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 252:E151, no 6) Cornu-copia, or, Roome for a ram-head wherein is described the dignity of the ram-head above the round-head or rattle-head. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [7] p. Printed for John Reynolds, London : 1642. Attributed to John Taylor by Wing, Charles A. Stonehill, Jr. Illustrated t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Roundheads. Great Britain -- Religion -- 17th century. A34591 R14987 (Wing C6328 T445). civilwar no Cornu-copia, or, Roome for a ram-head. Wherein is described the dignity of the ram-head above the round-head, or rattle-head. Taylor, John 1642 1762 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-08 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-09 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-09 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion CORNU-COPIA , OR , Roome for a Ram-head . Wherein is described the dignity of the Ram-head above the Round-head , or Rattle-head . London printed for Iohn Reynolds , 1642. CORNV-COPIA OR Roome for a Ram-head . Being a Dialogue betweene a Man and his VVife . Wife . WHat now Husband ? Are you grown horne mad ? What doe you meane to assume such a head to make your selfe ridiculous , and a laughing stocke to all the world ? And to bring shame and disgrace unto me , as if I were an unhonest woman , who have beene loyall unto you all my life , I vow I will have them off . Husband . But vow you shall not , for I take more pleasure and content in them then in any thing in the world beside , esteeming them as a goodly ornament unto me above all other men , 2. as a testification to all the world of my innocency , 3. it is unto me a strong defence against all adverse power , 4. hornes are so serviceable and usefull that no man almost can live without them . W. But why did you attempt such a thing without my consent ? H. Good wife be content , for there are very few weare horns without their wives consent . W. But you doe , and that I am sure of . H. Will you take your oath of that ? W. No indeed , I am not so rash , I doe not use to sweare you know , yet this is enough to make any one sweare and curse too , especially considering that not long since your head was as round as a ball . H. But when my head was round , I could neither passe along the street nor sit in my shop without receiving a jeer from one knave or other , some calling me a troublesome fellow , some saying I was a despiser of government , others telling me I was an enemy to Bishops and the discipline of our Church . If I had a head full of wit , I should be called , or at least suspect me to bee either a projector , or a crafty knave : should I weare long locks , I should be esteemed a roaring boy or a swaggerer ; and all this laid upon me , though I were innocent of them all . This judgement passed upon me for my head ; but who saith so of me now ? They may well gaze at me , but judge me to be no other , but an innocent harmelesse and contented man . W. But why are horned men called more innocent and harmlesse then other men ? H. Because they have no harme in them , for where hornes are there is innocency : As for example , we may see in the very animall , these whom nature hath horned , are of all other most harmelesse in themselves , and most beneficiall and serviceable to man , as sheep , oxen , goats and the like , who never offend any , and yet wondrous strong in their owne defence , as you may see in the fiercest of them all , which is the Bull ; when shall you see him runne at any dogge , but passe by a thousand of them without regard or feare , but if they runne at him he with his hornes tosse them up into the aire , and causes them oftentimes to garter their legges with their owne guts . How many comely headed Rammes passe by the Butchers doores , against whom no dogge moveth his tongue , and if they should , his horned head is a sufficient defence to push them downe backeward . W. But what is that to men that weare hornes ? H. Is there not an old proverb , that one paire of legges is worth two paire of hands ? but I say in a new proverb , that one paire of hornes is worth ten paire of legges . If the old Lord Keeper had had a good horned head , he needed not to have borrowed a Finches wings to transport his massie body over the seas , he might have staid at home and been safe , for what vertue is there in birds feathers comparable with hornes ? What defence is there in a delinquent Prelates three corner cap ? Or in a Popes miter ? Or in a Cardinalls cap ? Would not one paire of hornes well planted in one innocent head bee worth all these ? Who can deny it ? Surely no man . Sir Iohn Suckling with his six score troopers , was forced to fly , whereas I stay at home with my hornes in quietnesse , amongst many of the forked order , and no man envies me . Moreover Hornes are a great commodity both here and beyond the seas , many living comfortably thereupon , and the company of horners greater then can be knowne : I could wish that all my kinne were horned , then I might happily get something at their death , whereas now I am like to get nothing . But let mee dye when I will , if I leave my heires nothing else , I bequeath unto them my hornes . Againe , Hornes are of such necessary use , that the Common-wealth cannot want them , being used of most sorts of people , even from our infancy to our dying day . For no sooner can children walke and talke , but they are put to their horne-booke to learne the first rudiments of all Liberall Sciences ; and when they grow greater , to recreate themselves with a horne Top , both in Schools , Houses , and in the Streets . In every Country house where you come , you shal see the first thing the good man seeketh or enquireth for in the morning , is his horne to draw on his shooes , and for assurance of not missing it , hath it oftentimes made fast to a poste with a chaine . Nay Tom of Bedlam is mad when he wanteth his horne . How long might the Sow-gelder walke both City and Country ere any one knew him from another man , except his horne proclaime him , and then all looke out . Who dare stay a Poste upon the high way , when once he joynes his horne to his head and windes it . It is a hanging matter . Many dainty Dames have I seene sewing with horne Thimbles on their fingers , when they have either sold , pawned , lost or laid by their silver ones . Many Bakers when they are ready to set their Oven , put the horne to their head to warne their customers in . How many a gallant Gentleman riding a hunting both in field and forrest , hath a horne about his necke in a silke string or scarfe , which when hee hath lost his sport , windeth his horne both loud and shrill , the meaning whereof the envious dogges well know , and by nature are forced to obey , willingly , cheerfully and speedily come to their game : but first the hunts-man must set the horne to his head , or else it hath no vertue to worke this effect . For the horne and the head have a speciall relation one to the other . What Round head or Rattle head may then compare with the horned head ? They trouble a Common-wealth , these benefit it sundry wayes , as you see . How many aged persons of all degrees , both men and women , are beholding to the horne , which they place in the midst of their faces , not farre from the place where they should grow , to hold up a paire of spectacles , when their eyes grow dim : whereby their sight is so renewed , that they can discerne the smallest Atome , or mote in the Sun beames ? What man or boy scorneth to carry an Inkhorne in his pocket to serve him upon all needfull occasions ? Some have beene so proud they would not , but have had their Clerkes to carry them after them , but after this contempt they have proved delinquents , and came short of Westminster . Nay the Drunkard himselfe often conveyes so much good liquor to his head with the horne , that he is not able to come home without the helpe of another , which is a Lanthorne to keepe him from falling in the kennell , or justling every post he meets with . How many sorts of fine spoons are made of horne , with which we need not be ashamed to sup as good broth or pottage as Giles Calfine ever seasoned or crumb'd ? In North-Holland there is a renowned City stiled by the name of Horne , famous through the world for shipping , merchandise , and trading . Lastly , there is in some hornes a wonderfull vertue : the Harts horne hath power to expell poison , and is excellent for use in painting and liming . But who is able to expresse the vertue of the Unicornes horne ; one of them being valued above a Kings Ransome . Wife . Well Husband , your Reasons have overcome mee ; neither I , nor any honest woman , is able to gain-say them : Therefore I give my free consent unto you , to weare hornes unto your dying day . Husb. I thanke you loving wife , you have now given me full content , according to my hearts desire . But yet to set forth at large the whole benefit and commodity of hornes , would bee tedious : Therefore to conclude with that which hath been spoken , wishing no man to despise the Horne : For the proudest hee whosoever he be , may ( by chance ) or must ( of necessity ) use or weare the horne . FINIS . 
A43604	----	A Preparative to studie, or, The vertue of sack This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A43604 of text R22858 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing H1790). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 6 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 4 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A43604 Wing H1790 ESTC R22858 12744695 ocm 12744695 93216 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A43604) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 93216) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 253:E158, no 7) A Preparative to studie, or, The vertue of sack Beaumont, Francis, 1584-1616. Brathwaite, Richard, 1588?-1673. Edwards, Henry, 17th cent. Heywood, Thomas, d. 1641. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 5 p. [s.n.], London : 1641. Variously ascribed to Thomas Heywood, Henry Edwards, Francis Beaumont, Richard Brathwaite, and John Taylor. In verse. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Drinking of alcoholic beverages -- England -- Early works to 1800. London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 17th century. A43604 R22858 (Wing H1790). civilwar no A preparative to studie: or, The vertue of sack· [no entry] 1641 911 1 0 0 0 0 0 11 C The rate of 11 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-11 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-12 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-12 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-01 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A PREPARATIVE to Studie : OR , THE VERTUE OF SACK . LONDON , Printed Anno Dom. 1641. A PREPARATIVE to Study : OR , THE VERTVE OF Sacke . FEtch me Ben. Iohnsons Scull , and fill 't with Sacke , Rich as the same he dranke , when the whole packe Of jolly Sisters pledg'd , and did agree , It was no sinne to be as drunke as hee ; If there be any weakenesse in the wine , Ther 's vertue in the Cup to mak 't divine ; This muddy drench of Ale does tast too much Of Earth , the Malt retaines a scurvy touch Of the dull Hynde that sow'd it , and I feare There 's heresie in hops ; give Calvyn Beere , And his precise Disciple , such as thinke There 's Powder Treason in all Spanish drinke , Call Sack an Idoll , we will kisse the cup , For feare their Conventicle be blowne up With superstition ; aw●y with Brew-house Almes , Whose best mirth is six-shilling Beere and Psalmes . Let me rejoyce in sprightly Sack that can Create a Braine even in an empty Pan , Canary ! it is thou that dost inspire And actuate the soule with heavenly fire . Thou that sublim'st the Genius-making wit Scorne earth , and such as love or live by it , Thou mak'st us Lords of Regions large and faire , Whilst our conceipts build Castles in the Ayre . Since fire , earth , ayre , thus thy inferiors bee , Henceforth I le know no Element but thee ; Thou precious Elixar of all Grapes Welcome , by thee our Muse begins her scapes ; I would not leave thee Sack to be with Iove , His Nectar is but faign'd , but I doe prove Thy more essentiall worth : I am ( me thinkes ) In the Exchequer now , harke how it chinks , And doe esteeme my venerable selfe As brave a fellow as if all that Pelfe Were sure mine owne , and I have thought a way Already how to spend it , I would pay No debts , but fairely empty every Trunke And change the Gold for Sack to keepe me drunke , And so by consequence till rich Spaines wyne Being in my Crowne , the Indies too were mine , And when my Braines are once aflote ( Heav'n blesse us ) I thinke my selfe a better man then Croesus , And now I doe conceipt my selfe a Judge , And coughing , laugh , to see my Clyents trudge After my Lordships Coach unto the Hall For Justice , and am full of Law withall , And doe become the Bench as well as hee That fled of late for want of honestie , But I le be Judge no longer , though in jeast , For feare I should be talk't with like the rest , When I am sober : who can chuse but thinke Me wise , that am so wary in my drinke ? Oh , admirable Sack ! heer 's dainty sport , I am come backe from Westminster to Court , And am growne young againe , my Phtisick now Hath left me , and my Judges graver brow Is smooth'd , and I turn'd amorous as May , When she invites young Lovers forth to play Upon her flowry bosome : I could winne A Vestall now , or tempt a Saint to sinne . Oh , for a score of Queenes ! you 'd laugh to see How they would strive , which first should ravish mee . Three Goddesses were nothing : Sack has tipt My tongue with Charmes like those which Paris sipt From Venus when she taught him how to kisse Faire Helen , and invite a farther blisse , Mine is Canary-Rhetorique , that alone Would turne Diana to a burning stone , Stone with amazement burning with Loves fire , Hard to the touch , but short in her desire , Inestimable Sack ! thou mak'st us rich , Wise , amorous , any thing ; I have an itch To t'other Cup , and that perchance will make Me valiant too , and quarrell for thy sake : If I be once inflam'd against thy Foes That would preach down thy worth in small-beer-prose , I shall doe Miracles as bad or worse , As he that gave the King an hundred horse : I 'me in the North already ; Lasley's dead , He that would rise , carry the King his head , And tell him ( if he aske , who kill'd the Scot ) I knock't his Braines out with a pottle pot . Out ye Rebellious Vipers ; J 'me come back From thence againe , because there 's no good Sack , T'other odde Cup , and I shall be prepar'd To snatch at Starres , and pluck downe a reward With mine owne hands , from Iove upon their backs That are , or Charles his Enemies or Sacks ; Let it be full , if I doe chance to spill Over my study by the way , I will , Dipping in this diviner Incke my pen , Write my selfe sober , and fall too t agen . FINIS . 
A53267	----	Old nevves newly revived, or, The discovery of all occurences happened since the beginning of the Parliament as the confusion of patent the deputies death Canterburies imprisonment, secretary Windebank L. Finob, doctor Roane, Sir Iohn Sucklin and his associates flight the fall of wines, the desolation of doctors commons the misery of the papists, Judge Barckleyes imprisonment and the ruine of Alderman Abels monopoly : most exactly compiled in a short discourse between Mr. Inquiseive a countrey gentleman and Master Intelligencer a newes monger. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A53267 of text R5653 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing O211). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 13 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 4 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A53267 Wing O211 ESTC R5653 12798216 ocm 12798216 94002 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A53267) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 94002) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 253:E160, no 22) Old nevves newly revived, or, The discovery of all occurences happened since the beginning of the Parliament as the confusion of patent the deputies death Canterburies imprisonment, secretary Windebank L. Finob, doctor Roane, Sir Iohn Sucklin and his associates flight the fall of wines, the desolation of doctors commons the misery of the papists, Judge Barckleyes imprisonment and the ruine of Alderman Abels monopoly : most exactly compiled in a short discourse between Mr. Inquiseive a countrey gentleman and Master Intelligencer a newes monger. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [7] p. s.n.] [London : 1641. Attributed to John Taylor in the Wrenn catalogue. Illustrated t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng England and Wales. -- Parliament. A53267 R5653 (Wing O211). civilwar no Old nevves newly revived: or, the discovery of all occurrences happened since the beginning of the Parliament: as, the confusion of patents, [no entry] 1641 2070 21 0 0 0 0 0 101 F The rate of 101 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the F category of texts with 100 or more defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-09 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-06 Kirk Davis Sampled and proofread 2002-06 Kirk Davis Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-07 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion OLD NEVVES NEWLY REVIVED : OR , The discovery of all occurrences happened since the beginning of the Parliament : As , the confusion of Patents , the Deputies death , Canterburies imprisonment , Secretary Windebank . L. Finch , Doctor Roane , Sir Iohn Sucklin and his associates flight the fall of Wines , the desolation of Doctors Commons , the misery of the Papists , Iudge Barckleyes imprisonment , and the ruine of Alderman Abels Monopoly . Most exactly compiled in a short discourse between Mr. Inquisitive , a countrey Gentleman , and Master Intelligencer , a Newes monger . Printed in the yeare 1641. OLD NEVVES Newly Revived . Inquisitive HOnest Iack Intelligencer , th'art welcom home , I woonot lose so much time to aske thee how thou do'st , because thy face has already told me thou wantst money : so do I , t is a generall want , and be fitting a Gentleman ; but let that passe , tell me what newes is stirring in or neere London , newes is all that I seeke : you know my humour I hope . Intelligencer . I doe Sir , and finde it most correspondent to your name ; and because I am desirous to satisfie your humour , I leave off and abandon all superfluous salutations , and fall roundly to the matter . The first enormity the Parliament tooke into its hands , was Patents in generall . Inquis . It was very likely that it would fall to particulars in time : but what befell those Patents ? Intell. Faith though it was in the Winter , yet the owners of them were forced to leave them off , though they hazarded going over shooes , in griefe whereof they were all utterly confounded . Inquis . What ? all Patents , of what nature soever ? Intel. Yes , that were pretended for the common good , but aimed at particular mens profits , as the Patents for Cards , Dice , Pins , Soap , Leather , and such like were utterly damned ? Inquis . I marry Sir , the Parliament began well , heaven blesse their proceedings : how went they forward ? Intel. Then to particular persons . The next that was found a delinquent , was no l●sse a man then the Earle of Strafford , he that set three Kingdomes at variance . Inquis . What , he that as he went through our Towne into Ireland , had the streets swept , and made neat for his comming , hee that paid all the Officers so bountifully ? By this hand he was a most liberal man , and many say understanding . Intel. That 's certaine ; yet for all his wit , he could not easily understand his owne head . Alas ! he was intrapt in his policie , and constrained to lay his ambitious necke on the Traytors blocke . On my conscience young Gregory is the most famous man in all England . Inquis . What , he that had the reversion of his fathers place , the young Soule-sender , hee that fild the Dungmans Cart with Dogges which he had headed , the better to enable him to eff●ct the reall matter ; why is he so famous ? Intell. I le tell you Sir , if the glorious acts that Hector d●d , made his conq●est the more honourable , and Achilles by slaying him ingrost all his heroicke deeds , why should not yong Brandon be as famou● for the death of him that shak't three Ki●gdomes ? Inquis . Come , thou art merry : but how scap't his Compeere the Archbishop of Canterbury ? it was thought that he was as deep as the other , it would bee a wonder if hee should come off with as you were , as they doe in the Artillery Garden . Intell. Truly Sir , I am of your opinion , take my word if ever bee come into his Metropolitan house againe , and sit there his Maj●sties high Commissioner , discharging the new Canons , he will goe neere to blow up the little Levite that writ Lambeth Faire . B●t he , good man , being his life was so irregular before has now betaken himselfe to a private lodging , and in a stronger house then that o're the water ; hee is not now much troubled with signing paper Petitions , and referring them to Sir Iohn Lamb , although he keep house continu●lly , and never s●irres abroad , not so farre as into Saint Georges fields to take the aire . Inquis . I heard say , he never durst come into those fields since the u●-●oare at the dissolution of the last Parliament , he was afraid of the Ghost of him hee set upon the Citie gates to keep watch . Intell. I cannot tell whether that be the reason or no , but on my conscience I thinke that honourable young Brandon will have the honour to ship his soule into Charons boat , for all his father was a Clothier of Reading . As soone as ever this man of Grace was laid in Limbo Patrum , his most deare friend , and the Papists most favourable compounder , and his Majesties Secretary Sir Francis Windebank , with much providence tooke a voyage into France . Inquis . Then I hope wee shall p●y no more Ship-money : that same Sir Francis has been prayd for the wrong way most heartily ; the Ship-mo●ey was never mentioned , but a devout imprecation was offered up for him , much good doe him with it . Intell. Alas ! he never had hand in it , it was my Lord Finch , the Lord Keeper of England , that dealt with Ship-money , and 't was done with a most provident eye : for hee knew he should have occasion to use ships before hee died , and so he had : for he went after Mr. Secretary . I le tell you Sir , hee was so woary with determining controversies upon the Bench , that he resolv'd hereafter to end them with the sword : he became a brother of the blade , and with a tilting feather , a flaunting periwig , Buff● doublet , scarlet hose , and sword as broad as a lath , hee looked as like a Dammee newly come out of the North , as could be imagined ; and under that disguise fled most swiftly into France . Inquis . But under your favour , hee was but a Coward to flye as soone as ever he was accouterd in his marshall habiliments . Intell. But I think him most valiant : for wisedome was ever held the better part of v●lour ; and none but desperate fool●s will run themselves upon certaine death : and though some such there are , yet he is none of those . I am su●e , that valiant men and brave Command●rs followed his example , and no worse men then Sir Iohn Sucklin , the discontented Colonell , and his associates . Inquis . Sir Iohn Sucklin , what hee that writ admired Aglaura ? the Blacke Friers Actors have a foule losse of him , And lest the Pl●yers should grow poore , Send them Aglauros more and more . What he that gave the King a hundred horse against the Scotch Pedlers ? is he fled for Religion too ? Intell. As sure as he fled from the Pedlers , his coat of Male would not keepe out their Bullets , though it would Sir Iohn Digbies Rapier in the Playhouse , Inquis . I heard that he was for Portugall , and to that purpose had two or three hundred Cap and Feather men in pay , did he mistake France for Portugall ? Intell. You may see the fortune of the dice , they run what chance they please , Sir Iohn knowes it , but there 's a greater man then he gone by farre . Inquis . None of the other Iudges ? Iudge Barkley is not gone , i● he ? Intell. No faith , hee 's safe enough , hee 's a most fast and substantiall friend , he and Davenant the Queenes Poet doe keepe their chambers , as if they mourned for the iniquity of the times , but he that I meane is greater then any of these in bulke , t is Doctor Roane . Inquis . Why if he be gone , how fares the Civill Law , for he was the body of it . Intell. In good faith Master Inquisitive they droope extreamely , you may walke in the Commons and be offended with no confused noise of the Proctors that prated onely for the tother fee , they will now without grudging take a ten groats fee and thanke you ; they l onely sigh out , O quantum mutatus ab illo — Termino , &c. Their Clarkes , although they are not troubled with much imployment , cannot be at leisure to redeem the gownes which they pawned in Lent Vacation : and Doctors Commons himselfe for feare lest bee should dye intestate , has made his will , and bequeath'd all his goods most equally . Inquis . Then I may presume that the High Commission is downe ; the Papists I know rejoyce at it , they have paid many a fat fine , have they not ? Intell. Faith I thinke that they have rather cause to grieve , for their sines were very easie compositions , but now the Parliament has taken them in hand , and useth them far more ruggedly then the chiefe Commissioner would . Inquis . If the Parliament has taken them in hand , I prognosticate that they weare Lent in their cheekes , their Ave Maries , Creeds , Paternosters , the dropping of their Beads , their sprinkling themselves with Holy water , will scarce bee of force to entreat the Virgin Mary to command her Son to pitty them they must visit Rome , must they not ? Intell. Or Tyburne , choose them whether , as the ballad saies , they have a very bad time of it now I can assure you . Inquis . Well , let them be hang'd and they will , thou and I will goe drinke a pint of Canary . Intell. As I live , I had almost forgot , Canary is now at sixe pence a pint in London . Inquis . At sixe pence a pint , how comes that to passe ? Intell. This blessed Parliament has pryed into Alderman Abels knavery , and has found his politicke projects out , has made a confusion of his ticket office , and laid him and his brother Kilvert in a house of stone , who shall be made exemplary . Inquis . Why then honest Iacke Intelligencer I pronounce thee welcome home , wee le to the Taverne and drink pottles in healths to this most happy Parliament . The Deputy is dead , the Archbishop sure , ( I doe not say to dye ) Iudge Barkleyes cure , If any be is casting of his coyne , Abell and Kilvert too , that did purloine A penny to 'em from each pint of Sacke , If money helpe them not , their neckes must cracke ; And witty Davenant , their miseries To terminate will write their Elegies , And so he will his owne ; they that fled Int' other Countries , and so sav'd their heads , From a sore aching cannot merry be , Whilst thou and I laugh at their misery : We can be jocound and thinke no man ha●me , With joviall Sacke our duller spirits warme . Away with sorrow , welcome sweet conteut , This health I le drink to'th blessed Parliament . FINIS . 
A57985	----	The high and mightie commendation of the vertue of a pot of good ale full of wit without offence, of mirth without obscenities of pleasure without scurrilitie, and of good content without distaste : whereunto is added the valiant battell fought between the Norfolk Cock and the Wisbich Cock / written by Thomas Randall. Randolph, Thomas, 1605-1635. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A57985 of text R20718 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing R239A). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 15 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A57985 Wing R239A ESTC R20718 12680199 ocm 12680199 65628 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A57985) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 65628) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 252:E153, no 20) The high and mightie commendation of the vertue of a pot of good ale full of wit without offence, of mirth without obscenities of pleasure without scurrilitie, and of good content without distaste : whereunto is added the valiant battell fought between the Norfolk Cock and the Wisbich Cock / written by Thomas Randall. Randolph, Thomas, 1605-1635. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. Wild, Robert, 1609-1679. Valiant battell fought between the Norfolk Cock and the Wisbich Cock. [8] p. Printed for F. Cowles, T. Bates, and J. Wright, London : 1642. Illustrated t.p. In verse. Hazlitt considers Randall and Thomas Randolph the same person but B. M. lists them as two separate people. "This facetious piece was more probably by Taylor, the water poet" Cf. Hazlitt. Entered in Wing under Thomas Randolph. See, however, Randolph, Thomas, Poems ... ed. by G. Thorn-Drury, p. xxii. Where "The high and mightie" is not included as a poem of Randolph's. "The valiant battell ..." is by Robert Wild. Cf. Games and gamesters of the restoration (1930) pp. 112-114. Wing entry imprint reads "F. Coules." Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 17th century. A57985 R20718 (Wing R239A). civilwar no The high and mightie commendation of the vertue of a pot of good ale. Full of wit without offence, of mirth without obscenitie, of pleasure Randolph, Thomas 1642 2668 38 0 0 0 0 0 142 F The rate of 142 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the F category of texts with 100 or more defects per 10,000 words. 2003-08 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2003-09 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-10 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2003-10 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion The High and Mightie Comm●●●ation of the vertue of a Pot of Good Ale . Full of wit without offence , of mirth without obsceniti●● of pleasure without scurrilitie , and of good content without distaste . Whereunto is added the valiant battell fought betweene the Norfolk Cock and the Wisbich Cock . written by Thomas Randall . LONDON , Printed for F. Cowles , T. Bates , and I. Wright . MDCXLII . The High and Mightie C●●●●ndation of the the vertue o● 〈…〉 t of Good Ale . NOt drunken nor sober , ( but neighbour to both , I met with a friend in Alesberry Vale ; He saw by my face , that I was in the case , To speak no great harm of a Pot of good Ale . And as we did meet , and friendly did greet , He put put me in mind of the name of the Dale , That for Alesberries sake , some paines I would take , And not burie the praise of a pot of Good Ale . The more to procure me , then did he adjure me , ( If the Ale I drank last were nappie and stale ) To doe it ●s right , and stir up my sp●ight ▪ And fall to commend a pot of Good Ale . Quoth I , to commend it , I dare not begin , Lest therein my cunning might happen to faile , For many there be that count it a sin , But once to look towards a pot of God Ale . Yet I care not a pin , for I see no such sin , Nor any else that my courage may quaile : For this I do find , being taken in kind , Much vertue there is in a pot of Good Ale . When heavinesse the mind doth oppresse , And sorrow and griefe the heart doth assaile , No remedy quicker , but take up your liquour , And wash away care with a pot of Good Ale . the Priest and the Clark , whose sights are dark , And the print of the letter doth seeme ●oo small , T●ey will con every letter , and read Service better , If they glaze but their eyes with a pot of Good Ale . The Poet divine , that cannot reach wine , Because that his money doth oftentimes faile , Will hit on the veine , and reach the high straine , If he be but inspir'd with a pot of Good Ale . All Writers of Ballads , for such whose mishap From Newgate up Holbourne to Tyburne doe saile , Shall have sudden expression of all their confession , If the Muse be but dew'd with a pot of Good Ale . The Prisoner that is enclos'd in the grate , Will shake off remembrance of bondge and Iaile , Of hunger or cold , of fetters or fate , If he pickle himselfe with a pot of Good Ale . The Salamander Blacksmith that lives by the fire , Whilst his Bellowes are puffing a blustring gale , Will shake off his full Ka●● ▪ and sweare each true Vulcan will Hazzard his witts for a pot of good Ale . The woer that feareth his suit to begin . And Blushes , and simpers , and often looks pale ▪ Thogh he miss in his speech & his heart were at his breech If he Liquor his tongue with a pot of good Ale . The widdow , that buried her husband of late , Will soon have forgotten to weep and to waile : And think every day twaine , till she marry againe , If she read the contents of a pot of Good Ale . The Plow-man and Carter that toyles all the day , And tires himselfe quite at the Plough taile , Will speak no lesse things , than of Queenes and of Kings , If he do but make bold with a pot of Good Ale . And indeed it will make a man suddenly wise , Ere while was ( scarce able to tell a right tale , It will open his ●aw , he will tell you the Law , And straight be a Bencher with a pot of Good Ale . I doe further alledge , it is fortitudes edge , For a very Coward that shrinks like a Snaile , Will sweare and will swagger , and out goes his dagger , If he be but well 〈…〉 ' d with a pot of Good Ale . The naked man taketh no care for a coat , Nor on the cold weather will once turne his taile , All the way as he goes , cut the wind with ●is nose , If he be but wel lin'd with a pot of Good Ale . The hungrie man seldome can mind his meat , ( Though his stomack could brook a Ten penny Nail ) He qu●te forgets hunger , thinks of it no longer , If his guts be but sowr'd with a pot of Good Ale . T●e Reaper the Mower , the Thresher , the Sower , The one with his sithe , and the other with his flaile , Pull 'em out by the pole , on the perill of my sole , They will hold up their caps at a pot of Good Ale . The Beggar , whose portion is alwayes his prayer , Not having a tatter , to hang at his taile , Is as rich in his rags , as a Churle with his bags , If he be but enrich'd with a pot of Good Ale . It puts his povertie out of his mind , Forgetting his browne bread , his wallet , his maile , He walks in the house like a six footed Lowse , If he be but well drench'd with a pot of Good Ale . The Souldier , the Saylor , the true man , the Taylor , The Lawyer that sels words by weight and by tale , Take them all as they are , for the War or the Bar , They all will approve of a pot of Good Ale . The Church and Religion to love it have cause ( Or else our Fore-fathers their wisdomes did faile ) For at every mile , close at the Church stile , An house is ordain'd for a pot of Good Ale . And Physick will favour Ale ( as , it is bound ) And stand against Beere both tooth and naile , They send up and downe , all over the Towne , To get for their Patients a pot of good Ale . Your Ale-berries , Cawdles and Possets each one ▪ And Sullabubs made at the Milking pale ▪ Although they be many , Beere 〈◊〉 not in any But all are compos'd with a pot of Good Ale . And in very deed , the Hop 's but a weed , Brought o're against Law , and here set to sale : He that first brought the hop , had reward with a rope , And found that his Beere was bitter than Ale . The antient tales that my Grannam hath told Of the mirth she hath had in Parlour and Hall , How in Christmas time they would dance , sing and rime , As if they were mad , with a pot of good Ale . Beere is a stranger a Dutch Vpstart come , Whose credit with us somtimes is but small : But in the Records of the Empire of Rome , The old Catholike drink is a pot of Good Ale . To the praise of Gambinius , that old Brittish King , Who devis'd for his Nation ( by the Welch-mens tale ) Seventeene hundred yeares before Christ did spring , The happie invention of a pot of Good Ale . But he was a Pagan , and Ale then was rife ; But after Christ came , and bade us , All haile , Saint Ta●●● 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 peere in her life , Put awle Cally 〈…〉 , and excellent Ale . All Religions and Nations , their humours and fashions , Rich or Poore , Knave or Whoore , Dwarffish or Tall , Sheep or Shrew , I 'le avow , well I know all will bow , If they be but wel steep'd with a pot of Good Ale . O Ale , ab alen●●● , thou liquor of life , I wish that my mouth were as big as a Whale ; But then ' tw●re to little , to reach thy least title , That belongs ● the praise of a pot of Good Ale . Thus many a vertue to you I have shewed , And not any vice in all this long tale : But after the pot , there commeth a shot , And that is the blot of a pot of Good Ale , W●ll said my friend the blot I will beare , Y●u have done very well , it is time to strike sa●le ; Wee 'll have six pots more , though we dye on the score , To make all this good of a pot of Good Ale . The Combat of the Cocks . GOe you tame Gallants , you that have the name , And would accounted be Cocks of the Game , That have brave spurs to shew for 't and can crow , And count all dunghill breed that cannot shew Such painted plumes as yours ; that think 't no vice , With Cock-like lust to trad your Cockatrice : Th●ugh Peacocks , Wood-cocks , Weather-cocks you be , If y' are no fighting Cocks , y' are not for me : I of two feather'd Combatants will write , He that to th' life meanes to expresse the fight , Must make his ink o' th' bloud which they did spill , And from their dying wings borrow his quill . NO sooner were the doubtfull people set , The matches made , and all that would had bet , But straight the skilfull Iudges of the play , Bring forth their sharp heel'd Warriours , and they Were both in linnen bags , as if 't were meet ▪ Before they dy'd to have their winding-sheet . With that in th' pit they are put , and when they were Both on their feet , the Norfolk Chanticleere Looks stoutly at his ne're before seene foe , And like a Chalenger begins to crow , And shakes his wings , as if he would display His warlike colours , which were black and gray : Meane time the warie Wisbich walks , and breathes His active body , and in furie wreathes His comely creft , and often looking downe , He whets his angry beak upon the ground : With that they meet , not like that Coward breed Of Aesop , they can better fight than feed . They scorne the dunghill , 't is their only prize , To dig for pearle within each others eyes : They fight so long , that it was hard to know To the skilfull , whether they did fight no no ▪ Had not the bloud which dide the fatall floore Borne witnesse of it ; yet they fight the more , As if each wound were but a spur to prick Their furie forward : lightning's not more quick Nor red than were their eyes : 't was hard to know Whether it was bloud or anger made them so : And sure they had been out , had they not stood More safe by being fenced in by blood . Yet still they fight , but now ( alas ) at length , Although their courage be full tryed , their strength And bloud began to ebbe ; you that have seene A water-combat on the Sea , betweene Two roaring angrie boyling billowes , how They march , and meet , and dash their curled browes , Swell●ng like graves , as if they did intend To intomb each other , ere the quarrell end : But when the wind is downe , and blustring weather , They are made friends , and sweetly run together , May think these Champions such ; their combs grow low , And they that leapt even now , now scarce can goe : Their wings which lately at each blow they clapt ( As if they did applaud themselves ) how slapt . And having lost the advantage of the heele , Drunk with each others bloud , they onely reele . From either eyes such drops of bloud did fall , As if they wept them for their funerall . And yet they would faine fight , they come so neare , As if they meant into each others eare To whisper death ; and when they cannot rise , They lye and look blowes in each others eyes . But now the Tragick part after the fight , When Norfolk Cock had got the best of it , And Wisbich lay a dying , so that none , Th●ugh sober , but might venture seven to one , Contracting ( like a dying Taper ) all His force , as meaning with that blow to fall ; He struggles up , and having ta●en wind , Ventures a blow , and strikes the other blind . And now poore Norfolk having lost his eyes , Fights only guided by the Antipathies : With him ( alas ) the Proverb holds not true ; The blowes his eyes ne're see , his heart most rue . At length by cha●ce , he stumbling on his foe , Not having any power to strike a blow , He fals upon him with a wounded head , And makes his conquer'd wings his feather-bed : Where lying sick , his friends were verie charie Of him , and fetcht in haste an Apothecarie ; But all in vaine , his body did so blister , That it was uncapable of any glister , Wherefore at length opening his fainting bill , He call'd a Scrivener , and thus made his will . INprimis , Let it never be forgot , My b●dy freely I bequeath to th' pot , Decently to be boyl'd , and for its tomb , Let it be buried in some hungry womb . Item ▪ Exe●utors I will have none , But he that on my side layd seven to one : And like a Gentleman that he may live , To him and to his heires my comb I give ; Together with my braines , that all may know , That often times his braines did use to crow . Item , It is my will , to the weaker ones , Whose wives complaine of them , I give my stones ; To him that 's dull , I do my spurs impart , And to the Coward I bequeath my heart : To Ladies that are light , it is my will , My feathers should be given ; and for my bill , I 'de give 't a Taylor , but it is so short , That I 'm afraid hee 'll rather curse me for 't : And for the Apothecaries see , who meant , To give me a glister , let my rump be sent . Lastly , because I feele my life decay . I yeeld , and give to Wisbich Cock the day . FINIS . 
A62414	----	Roger the Caterburian that cannot say grace for his meat, with a low-crown'd hat before his face, or, The character of a prelaticall man affecting heighths newly written by G. T. G. T. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A62414 of text R21210 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T10). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 11 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A62414 Wing T10 ESTC R21210 12483610 ocm 12483610 62235 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A62414) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 62235) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 249:E132, no 24) Roger the Caterburian that cannot say grace for his meat, with a low-crown'd hat before his face, or, The character of a prelaticall man affecting heighths newly written by G. T. G. T. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 6 p. Printed for William Larmar, London : 1642. Sometimes wrongly ascribed to John Taylor -- cf. Robert B. Daw, "The life and times of John Taylor, the water poet." Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng A62414 R21210 (Wing T10). civilwar no Roger the Canterburian, that cannot say grace for his meat, with a low-crown'd hat before his face. Or the character of a prelaticall man af G. T 1642 1854 9 0 0 0 0 0 49 D The rate of 49 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the D category of texts with between 35 and 100 defects per 10,000 words. 2007-01 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2007-01 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2007-02 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2007-02 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2008-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion ROGER THE CANTERBURIAN , That cannot say Grace for his Meat , with a low-crown'd HAT before his FACE . OR THE CHARACTER OF A PRELATICALL MAN affecting great Heighths . Newly written , by G. T. LONDON , Printed for WILLIAM LARMAR ▪ 1642. ROGER the Canterburian . OR THE CHARACTER OF Praelaticall ROGER . ROGER the Canterburian is a Man made up of a Soule and a Body like Ananias the Puritan , only he worships God with both . Hee has learn't out of the Bible to make a Leg to the Authority of Church and State , and do's the same to Heaven the ordainer and dispenser of that Authority . Hee ha's read the whole Story of Christian Religion from Christ-Crosse to & per se and : and yet cannot finde Ananias the Puritan neither in A. nor B. nor C. nor any Age of the Christ-cross-row , but quite beside it : The Poxe and the Plague ha's frighted him out of Oxford ; and Mr. PYM out of his Leg-Religion , and almost his Witt. Notwithstanding his distractions , hee has so much wit yet left , that Ananias could not see his Grac● through it . The Apprentices give him a broad side as hee walkes the Streets by crying no Bishops , No Bishops ; and never leave till he cries ▪ No Bishops too : for which when hee is safe in hous'd , he repents crosses and blesses himselfe , and curses them as things never Christened , or never Bishop't . To make him cry ▪ No Bishops , he sayes is to boile a Kid in the Mothers milke against the Law of GOD and Nature . When he is abroad , he dares not speake sense aloud , for feare hee should be knockt o' th' head for 't ; but hum's and haa's in God morrow , and God eeven , and what a Clock is 't . His feare leads his judgement by the nose , as Religion leads Ananias . All the Sciences he has skill in but the Arithmetick of Sects ; which ignorance the Bishops he hopes will curse ▪ when they become Arithmetick-Lecturers . His greatest feare next the loss of one of his Parsonages , is that the City Gentle-women will put Gussets and Goures into the Canonicall Prayer , to make it as much too wide for his Faith , as his Memory . He is so extreamly given to short Prayers , as if hee were sure the Kingdome of Heaven might bee surpriz'd and taken with a Squib : and his Wife thinks him short in all , as he is in his Orisons ; and so ( though shee seeme Religious in his way ) Cuckolds her Beads and Him . Hee dares take it upon his death that there ha's not beene a Sermon preach't since Eighty eight that ha's had any Theologie or Religion in it , but by Doctor Andrewes and the learned Pupils , after the Order of Saint William of Canterbury all Catechismes , but that of the Church he counts Libels against Heaven , and esteemes them as the People do Articles of PYM . When a zealous Woman goes to St. Antholines with her Bible under her arme , he sayes she looks like a Goose with the Gysard trnst under her Wing . It grieves him to heare every Coxcomb crow new Divinitie able to startle the Lion of the Tribe of Judah . A Priest after the Order of my Lord Major hee never lik't till now that the Brownists have created him Papist . It astonishes him to think that his censurer Ananias should esteeme the bread after his Consecration no better then that which baits a Mouse-trap . When he enters a Church , especially where there is an Altar and Organs , hee mutters to himselfe that of Jacob ; How dreadfull is this Place ! this is the House of God , and the very gate of heaven ; and wonders why he should be contemn'd for a Formalist ▪ because he shewes but so much reverentiall feare as a Turke entring a Moschit . If the expression of such a religious feare in Gods House be not commanded and established , he thinks that Religion and himselfe shall not be beholding to the Synod for a courtesie Six-penny broad . Except hee and many more of his Order be elected Synoders , hee resolves to esteeme their Determination no more then the Apprentices doe Proclamations . He smells like a piece of Russian Leather of Arminius ; and for that is suspected of Popery , although he lie Perdu upon his owne Wife to catch the Roman Priest in an error of superstitious Chastiry ▪ He wishes that wee may at length stutt into some Religion that he may eat Tyth-Pigg in peace . But one thing he desires above all ; That the Christian Sacrifice , as the Iewish alwayes was , may be season'd with Salt , the Symbole of judgement and wit ; and not with Puritan long-Pepper talke . Rosemary and Bayes hee abhorres more then Bel and the Dragon , and will have none of it in his House this Christmas because it was prophan'd in the triumph of those holy Martyrs Burton , Prinne and Bastwick , which hee accounts the Schismaticall Sectaries of Martin Mar-Prelate . He thinks it impossible that a man should give a better Character of this Age , and the Religion of vs Zealots , then that Church-warden ha's already done , who tooke downe the Picture of Jesus , and let the Asse upon which he rode stand still in the Church . Besides all this he ha's another scurvy fault ; he deliberates what and how he should speake to God Almighty in his Prayers , because hee knowes not why deliberation which is the counsell of Reason should be shuffled out of Gods Service onely , and be received and prais'd in all things else . The Scotch businesse lies still upon his stomack like a Sow-baby upon the stomack of a Scot ; and Doctor Bastwick can see no reason why that should make him so sick . Might hee have had his will the Scots should have had 3000000. Pounds bestowed upon them to have sent them home sooner : but now he thinks it were better bestowed upon the building of Pauls ; such is the superstition of the Man . He is not a man of many Graces ; those hee uses before and after Meat are stollen out of the Primmer . The eyes of all things is his Grace before meat : and after it , from the same Book an old devout Rhime . As thou hast fed our bodies Lord so feed our Soules likewise ; And make us mindfull of the poore as Riches doth arise . Encrease thy flock preserve our King , thy Grace and Peace downe send ; That we may lead a faithfull life , and make a godly end . This Grace is set to a whistle which his Wife ha's for that purpose in the Heft of her Knife , that it may be like the Man Liturgick and Cathedrall . He is so very much addicted to set Forms of Prayer , that in a sodain and dangerous Fire , hee ha's nothing to say to God Almighty , but that Collect of our Church that calls for Raine in the time of fiery drought . He is a Creature of doubtfull interpretation ; no man knowes well what he is : Thus much more I think I may say of him . If there bee an insurrection of Papists , you shall meet him with two leaves of Thomas Aquinas , set Crosse in his Hat , because he resolves never to have his throat cut for a Puritan . His pride ha's swolne him too bigg for the Church of England , and now he must die like an Hydroptick Man . Nothing but a Cardinals Cap could keepe his Wit and Learning warme : but God ha's punish't the pride of that wit with a plaine Northerne Blew-Cap . Hee is so cleerly resolv'd that the Clergie ought to be preferr'd to the bravest heighths , that his Spirit will not give him leave to say Grace for his Meat with a low-crown'd Hat before his Face ; because it is not Gloria in exelsis , glory to God in the highest . Most of his Discourse is about that old Devotion which richly endowed the Church , and enabled the Clergie to tip their Staves with vnvallued Unicornes horne . You shall heare him tell you with a great deale of affection out of the Historian Boisardus ; That the French Clergie possesses 8000. Lordships , in which they have the chiefe Power of exercising Politicall Justice ; and besides those 240000. Country Villages ; That they possesse 7000. Acres of Vineard , besides the Tythes which they receive from other Vineyards ; That to them are belonging 125000 Fishponds ; of Meddow ground 90000. Acres . Out of the same Author he can shew you an Account of Annuall Provision of ●●●t for Ecclesiastick Men . Of pure Wheat 4. Millions 500000. Measures ; every such Measures containing 600. Pounds . Of Oates , 900000. Of Barley , 800000. Of Pease , 860000. Of fat Capons , 180000. Of Hens , 560000. Of Partridges , 600000. Of fat Oxen , 12500. Of fat Weathers 12000. Of Eggs , 7. Millions . And to be short , such like proportions in other necessaries for a temperate Priestly life . Moreover , out of Boterus , he can tell you ; That in Saxonie there are certaine Bishops ▪ of which every one ha's his Iurisdiction , his Townes and Subjects as Princes have . Certainly he would be a brave fellow if he could but retrive the Old Religion with it's Circumstances . Yet for all this he hopes to see the Gentlewomen of London come to Auricular Confession ; which if they doe , he will lie with some of them for pure spight ; except foure or five Acts of Parliament button up his Codpiece . He ha's a kind of humorous Charity towards the Scot still left in him , which he thus bestowes . LET US PRAY ; THat the SCOTCH Kirke , Which ha's eaten Perk , And with that is runne sterk - Mad 'gainst Priest and Clerk , Cause he is dumb and do's not berk ; But will both beleeve , and werk ; May leave her Schisme which ha's cost her Her Credo in Deum , and Pater Noster . FINIS . 
A64152	----	The anatomy of the separatists, alias, Brownists the factious brethren in these times, wherein this seditious sect is fairely dissected, and perspicuously discovered to the view of world : with the strange hub-bub, and formerly unheard of hurly-burly, which those phanatick and fantastick schismatiks made on Sunday ... the 8 of May ... at the sermon of the Right Rev. Father in God, Henry, Bishop of Chichester ... Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64152 of text R20093 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing A3060B T427). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 20 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64152 Wing A3060B Wing T427 ESTC R20093 12291411 ocm 12291411 58900 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64152) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 58900) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 196:1 or 265:E238, no 14) The anatomy of the separatists, alias, Brownists the factious brethren in these times, wherein this seditious sect is fairely dissected, and perspicuously discovered to the view of world : with the strange hub-bub, and formerly unheard of hurly-burly, which those phanatick and fantastick schismatiks made on Sunday ... the 8 of May ... at the sermon of the Right Rev. Father in God, Henry, Bishop of Chichester ... Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 6 p. [s.n.], London : 1642. Item at reel 196:1 and 265:E238, no. 14 identified as T427 (number cancelled in Wing 2nd ed.). Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Brownists. Dissenters, Religious -- England. A64152 R20093 (Wing A3060B T427). civilwar no The anatomy of the separatists, alias, Brownists, the factious brethren in these times. Wherein this seditious sect is fairely dissected, an [no entry] 1642 3654 6 15 0 0 0 0 57 D The rate of 57 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the D category of texts with between 35 and 100 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-06 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-08 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE ANATOMY OF THE Separatists , alias , Brownists , the factious Brethren in these Times . WHEREIN This seditious Sect is fairely dissected , and perspicuously discovered to the viewof World . With the strange hub-bub , and formerly unheard of hurly-burly , which those phanatick and fantastick Schismatiks made on Sunday in the after-noone , being the 8 of May , in the Parish of S. Olaves in the Old-Iury , at the Sermon of the Right Rev. Father in God , Henry , Bishop of Chichester , In the presence of the Right Honorable the Lord Major of this renowned Metropolis , and diverse worthy Members of the Honorable House of COMMONS . LONDON , Printed in the yeare , 1642. The Anatomy of the Separatists , Alias , Brownists , the factious Brethren in these Times . SVch is the all-daring and Lewd Licentiousnesse of these last and perillous dayes of the World , that with their Faction , Schisme & confusion of contradicting and dissenting Sectaries , the Church of England ( not long since the Reformed Religion ) is promiscuously shaken , deplorably enervated , miserably torne and distracted . Religion it selfe is now crucified , as Christ was between two thieves , viz , Superstition and Irreverence , which is a spice of Atheisme , and of the two extreames is worse peccant in the defect , than in the excesse . The World is growne into a new confused Chaos , full of new wine lately come from New England , a new Spirit , new Revelations , & new Formes of Prayer . There is such a giddinesse in the profession of Religion , that every one almost is led by his own opinion , and most men in matters of judgement are divided one against another . 'T is too true , that many places in the Kingdom of England , and in this Citty of London are too much Amsterdamnified by brainelesse opinions , and severall senses , which indeed are senselesse senses in Religion . Religion is become common Table-talke , the ordinary discourse at very our Commons and Ordinaries , where a man shall hardly find foure together of one mind . The Papists will have their way ; the Atheists will have their way ; the Brownists their way ; the Anabaptists their way , the Familists their way ; and the Sisters of the Fraternity their way : So that in these various and irregular wayes , they make such an intricate Labyrinth of Religion , that few or none scarce can find out the right way . A man may with more facility reckon up all the species and kinds of Nature , then describe all the Sects , Divisions and Opinions in Religion that are at this time amongst us . Some approve of Popery , because Ignorance is the mother of Devotion ; Others affect nothing but their own silly fancyes , esteeming all things else prophanation and superstition . One at the receiving of the holy Communion will not kneele , another will not stand , a third will sit downe , a fourth will not bow ; One holds reverence to be Popery , another that Rayles before the Communion Table are Romish , and that all decency is Superstitious . Some say it is lawful to kneele at receiving the Elements of the sacred Eucharist , others argue and plead for it , as expedient ; some again do presse it as necessary ; and there are others ( indeed too many of that Sect amongst us ) who abhorre it as Idolatrous . One out of zeale , somewhat inconsiderate , cryes down Episcopacy , as Antichristian : Another very moderate , wishes earnestly Episcopacy were reformed and purged from the Romish and Tyrannicall government , that incumbers it : A third kind of men carryed by a contrary wind , maintaine Episcopacy to be Iure Divino : Thus quot homines , tot Sententiae , So many men , so many minds . From these premisses of Discord and Faction , needs must there proceed much tumult and distraction to the great disgrace and scandall to the true Protestant Religion , to the encouragement of the wicked , who seeing that there are so many Sects and Separatists , will therefore be of no Religion : O Deus bone , in quae tempora reservasti nos● Polycarp . Well may we take up that exclamation of the Roman Orator , O tempora ! O mores ! Bad times , wherein there are worse men , and worst of all manners . Plenitudo hominum , sed solitudo bonorum ; a plenty of men , but a scarcity of good men . There is such a multitude of Sectaries in all places , both in our Cities and Countries , that we may justly feare this little Island will be turned into a great Amsterdam . Hinc illae lacrymae , One would reconcile Popery and our Religion together , another would introduce faction and innovations into the Church : So that between the Papists and Separatists , the Church strangely suffers . This latter sort of late days hath been very impudent and turbulent , both to the Church and Common-wealth . They were never more insolent at any time , then they are now at this time , and never more frequent and resident in any place then in the two famous Cities , Amsterdam , and this of London . They are the Separatists , or Brownists ; the Libertines or Anabaptists ; who are grown to a great head , ( for indeed they are Bellua multorum capitum ) a giddy headed multitude , & are so common amongst us , that they are commonly call'd the Round-heads . The Fraternity at Amsterdam , and the Brownists in Town , are brethren of the same Tribe . They are nominated Brownists from one Browne ; as we usually terme the Lutherans from Luther , the Calvinists from Calvin , and the Arminians from Arminius . These are the late up-start Sectaries of this age , the new crept in Caterpillers of our Kingdome , that do more mischief dayly , than any sect whatsoever . These are the Ionahs that have raised the tempest ; these are the Achaxs that do trouble our Israel . They are so many for their multitude , that like Bees they swarme amongst us . Indeed the time was when they crept in corners , but now they are like the Egyptian Locusts , covering the whol land , ye may know them by their frequent and far fetcht sighes , the continuall elevation of their eyes , their meager physiognomies , solitary countenances , sharp noses , by the cut of their hayre , made even with the top of their prick-eares , ( for their haire is as short as their eye-brows , though their consciences be as vast as the Ocean ) yee may further discerne them by their broad hats and narrow ●ufs , which they usually weare , the putting of their gloves under their girdles , and the folding of their hands one within another . Indeed they are painted sepulchres , whited walls , whose Religion consists in frequent fasting , and long prayers , which devoure widdowes houses , the outside of whose vessels are pure and washed , but within full of filth and corruption , under sheep-skins are ravenous Wolves . They hold that Religion ought to be guided by the motion of the Spirit , not reason ; therefore they will rule Religion , Religion shall not rule them , or else they will go against Religion , as the Iewes did in meeting Christ with swords and staves . They pretend sanctity , but intend impiety ; much they professe , but little good they expresse : Their Piety is altogether dissembled , and what that is , t is sufficiently known ; for simulat a sanctitas est duplex iniquitas . Religion is of it selfe pure , unspotted , immaculate , and undefiled ; but they by their private malice , do endeavour to pollute and contaminate the purity thereof . They say they would have Religion reformed , but their ayme is to have it deformed . These were called in Greeke {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} in Hebrew Paratzim ; viz. Separatists , for other men they accounted profane people of the earth , but themselves the only holy men in the Land ; therefore with others they would not converse for feare of defilement . In a precise manner they looke down with their eyes , when inwardly a whore is not more deceitful . They are double-minded , hollow-hearted , and wil as nimbly swallow up at a bit , another mans estate , as our Dutch will pills of butter , and never purch for it , All is fish that comes to their net . Vnde habeant nemo quaerit , sed oportet habere . They make it no matter how they come by it , so they have it . Their mouths are replenished with yeas , and very lyes , but their tongs and hearts do as much differ as truth and errour : though they do seldome damnably sweare , yet they will most abominably lye . For lying , falsehood , and hypocrisy , these are their familiar experssions . They are much addicted to prayer and fasting ; for they frame a long Babel-like prayer , made up with hums and hawes ; and though they affect fasting well , yet they love their flesh better , They much delight in private conventicles , and secret and obscure places , in which voluptuous wantonnesse has her meeting , where the Spirit enlightens the understanding to see a sister in the darke : though they are superciliously rigid and censorious , yet they seem very charitable , for rather then their sisters shall want food , they will fill their bellies , and rather then they shall be naked , they will cover their bodyes . Brothers they are , but not of the blade ; for they cannot endure our Cavaleers ; yet they are lovers of the sisters of the scaberd . Brethren they are , not of the Corporation , but the separation ; like Simeon and Levi , they are fratres in malo . They are altogether ignorant , therefore they despise all learning : for the tongues and languages , they utterly abhorre and detest them as profane , and for our ordinary Latine , they 〈◊〉 it is the language of the beast . They are resolved still to be as they are , ignorant , for they bold it Idolatry and superstition to learne to re●d because the very first letter begins with a Crosse . The Crosse they account the marke of the beast , and though it be the ancient ensign of Christianity , yet by them it is contemned , All Crosses they dosie as may-poles ; the one they hold profane , and the other they averre to be superstitious . They can endure no Crosse but that on Silver or Gold ; and for the Crosse in Cheapeside , it is the pillar of golden superstition , the abomination of the City , the City Idoll , and a supporter of Idolls , having so many images about it , which is as displeasing to their sight as the Counter in Woodstreet is to an indebted Citizen . All Ceremonies they account Popish , a Surplesse the snock of the whor of Babilon , the sight wherof is as terrible to them in a Church at noone , as the apparition of a Ghost in a Church-yard at midnight , An orthodox and lawfuly called , and allowed Minister is not minded amongst them ; for they hold it as lawfull for Artificers , and Laymen , to preach in publike , and those that are most inferior , as Coblers , Weavers , Leather-sellers , Box-makers , Iron-mongers , Felt-makers , and such mechanick fellowes . These and their holy sisters ( for they may wel be linkt together ) are they , who by their unreverent gestures in the Church disesteeme of Church-Prayers ; These are they who contemn the publike service of God , and cry down the Lyturgie of the Church of England ; that solemne Lyturgie , celebrous by the piety of Bishops , and Martyres , hallowed with the blond of some of them who composed it , established by the Lawes of this Land , by severall Acts of Parliament in this Kingdome , attested and approved by the best of all forraigne Divines , confirmed by the subscription of all the Clergie , accepted of by the most and best of all the Laity , and hath continued since in the raignes of Queene Elizabeth , King Iames , and our gracious King Charles , in the Church of England , for the service of God these 90. yeares ; that this holy exercise of Religion should be by them vilified , interrupted , and depraved , what doth it tend to , but the advancing of Heresie , Schisme , Profanenesse , Libertinisme , Anabaptisme , and Atheisme ? We acknowledge , that some parts of our publike Liturgy , may be very well corrected , ( and thankes be to God the great Counsell of the King , and the Kingdome have consulted and determined about it ) but the clamours now go very high : Impudence or Ignorance is at this time grown so frontlesse , that it is confidently expected by many , that all formes of publike worship should be utterly abrogated , and that our booke of Common-Prayer should bee quite abolished , as they would have Episcopacy everlastingly extirpated . They affirme that that which is called the Liturgy is the same with the Masse , either a Lethargy of worship , or a Masse of Idolatry ; wherein is no purity , but all papistry . In the Service-booke they say there are foppish and foolish Tautologies , as in these words , The Lord be with you and with your Spirit : And in the Letany , there are vaine and ●●ivolous repetitions of words , as Good Lord deliver us , and We bese●●● to heare us good Lord ; which they are not ashamed to say are ridiculous Invocations like magick spels , and no better than conjuring . These moderne Zealots ( forsooth ) are offended at the vestments and habits of the Clergie ; every thing though never so laudable , decent , and necessary , if contrary to their opinion , is by them accounted profane , or superstitious . They make no reckoning of the Church of God , than of a barne , or a stable , either of these is all alike to them . Barnes and Stables are for threshers and hostlers : the Church is the House of God : yet they are so base minded , as to conjecture a barne or stable good enough for him , whom the heaven of heavens cannot containe , the high and lofty one that inhabiteth Eternity . They account their own houses as holy as the Church ; T is strange Divinity , and yet I hold no inherent holinesse in either . I have read of a sort of Hereticks about the yeare of our Lord 1126. who would have all Churches defaced and demolished as needlesse Fabricks , and unnecessary structures ; for God dwels not in temples made with hands . Sure these Separatists are of their minds ; If they were not , they would mind the Church better then they do ; But these love to stand without at the Church doore : I am sure they have no president for it out of the Word of God , that whilst the preacher and people are praying , within , they should stand prating without . That description of S. Paul may be properly predicated of them : they are lovers of their own selves , covetous , boasters , proud , disobedient , unthankfull , unholy , without naturall affection , truce breakers , false accusers , incontinent , fierce , despisers of others , heady , high minded , {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} , magis quam , {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God , having a forme of godlinesse , but denying the power thereof , 2 Tim. 3. 2 , 3 , 4. Tha likewise of S. Iude may be truly applyed to them , they defile the flesh , despise dominion , and speak evill of dignities , 8 ver. These are they who separate themselves , sensuall , having not the Spirit , 19 ver. And who these persons are , who say they have the Spirit , the subject of this small Tract doth sufficiently declare , the Separatists . They are offensive to God in the contempt of his Ordinance , whose commandement is , that every soule should be subject to the higher powers ; and they are injurious to the King and State , whose power they despise , and government they affront . Their lives are hypocriticall , their positions schismaticall , their thoughts perilous , their words malicious , their Acts mischievous , and their opinions impious . They hold it a matter arbitrary or indifferent , which they dispense with at their own wils & pleasures , to behave themselves irreverently , unmannerly , undecently , and disorderly in Gods House , in his presence , and that under pretence of avoyding superstition , Dum vitant stulti vitia , in contraria currunt : what is this , but to avoyd Scylla , and fall upon Charybdis ? to run from one extreame to a worse , ex fuma●io flammam , out of the smoake into the flame . This is the reason they have made so many uproares , the like in pristine ages unparalleld motions and commotions in our Churches of late dayes , in the Cathedrall of S. Paul , within these few months , and in S. Olaves Church in the old Iewry , on Sunday in the afternoone being the 8. of May , I know not by what unhappy fate , there was at that present congregated a company of rude Rascals , to the number of above 100 , who as soon as the right Rev. pious and learned Bishop came up into the Pulpit in his Lawn sleeves and other vestments suitable to a Prelate , they presently like an unmannerly and ill-bred crue of unruly curres , made such a hideous clamour in the Church of God , crying joyntly , most impudently and with one accord , A Pope , a Pope , a Pope , to the astonishment of the man of God , & to the admiration and amazement of the L. Major , the Parliament Gentlemen , and other noble and worthy auditors that were then present . Some of the varlets ran out of the Church , others by the L. Majors officers were thrust out of the Church , and the doore shut upon them : And I wish this cursed Sect may beever excluded as from our Churches so from our Cities , Assemblies and societies : I am sure , in the purest times of the Primitive Church , there were Ostiarit , Doore-keepers , to debar from ingresse into the Church notorious Hereticks , obstinate Idolaters and profane livers . I would not be accounted uncharitable , therefore my opinion is , that these sons of tumult bare no violent malice to the Right Reverend Bishops person , ( for he is the object of every mans love ) only I imagine their inveterate spleene aymd at his function . A Pope and a Bishop are all one with them , when these turbulent Schismatickes were in the street , they fell to picking of quarrels , and broke many glasse windowes in the Church , in the time of the Sermon , they were so audacious and impudent as to say , that they who were in the Church were at Masse , and that the Lord Major was a Papist , whom God and the world knowes to be a Gentleman of an approved and unblemished integrity and an unfained Protestant of the Church of England . One thing I have more to relate , that on of the rascals was the same day apprehended , & examined by some of the Parliament Gentlemen after Sermon in the Lord Majors house , & was by his Lordship committed , of whom hereafter ye shall heare more ; for the present , I am sorry that such an occasion is offered me to trouble the Readers patience so much , with the relation of this viperous generation , and with such unsanctified sons of mischiefe as these are ; Only give me leave , before I leave them , to leave this wish to them , that these Brothers of Schisme and Sedition , with their Sisters of Faction and insurrection ( for they of that sexe are as bad , being of the same sect ) may in due time ( as I hope shortly they will ) suffer exemplary and condigne punishment according to their demerits . FINIS . 
A64154	----	An apology for private preaching in which those formes are warranted or rather justified, which the maligannt sect contemne and daily by prophane pamphlets make ridiculous : viz. preaching in a tub : teaching against the backe of a chaire : instructing at a tables end : revealing in a basket : exhorting over a buttery hatch : reforming on a bad side or, indeed, any place according to inspiration, since it is knowne, the spirit moves in sundry places : whereunto is annexed, or rather conjoyned or furthermore united, or moreover knit the spirituall postures, alluding to that of musket and pike / by T.J. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64154 of text R20694 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T429). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 11 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64154 Wing T429 ESTC R20694 12680171 ocm 12680171 65626 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64154) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 65626) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 252:E153, no 12) An apology for private preaching in which those formes are warranted or rather justified, which the maligannt sect contemne and daily by prophane pamphlets make ridiculous : viz. preaching in a tub : teaching against the backe of a chaire : instructing at a tables end : revealing in a basket : exhorting over a buttery hatch : reforming on a bad side or, indeed, any place according to inspiration, since it is knowne, the spirit moves in sundry places : whereunto is annexed, or rather conjoyned or furthermore united, or moreover knit the spirituall postures, alluding to that of musket and pike / by T.J. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [8] p. ... Printed for R. Wood, T. Wilson, and E. Christopher, [London] : Jun. 28 [1642] Attributed to John Taylor. Cf. NUC pre 1956. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Dissenters, Religious -- England. A64154 R20694 (Wing T429). civilwar no An apology for private preaching. In which those formes are warranted, or rather justified, which the maligannt sect contemne, and daily by Taylor, John 1642 1975 1 0 0 0 0 0 5 B The rate of 5 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-06 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-07 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-07 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-08 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion AN APOLOGY FOR PRIVATE PREACHING . IN WHICH THOSE FORMES are warranted , or rather justified , which the malignant Sect contemne , and daily by prophane Pamphlets make ridiculous . ( Viz. ) Preaching in a Tub. Teaching against the backe of a Chaire , Instructing at a Tables end . Revealing in a Basket . Exhorting over a Buttery Hatch . Reforming on a Bed side . OR ( Indeed ) any place , according to Inspiration ( since it is knowne ) the Spirit moves in sundry places . ) WHEREUNTO IS ANNEXED , OR RATHER Conjoyned , or furthermore united , or moreover knit , the Spirituall postures , alluding to that of Musket and Pike . By T. J. Jun. 28. Printed for R. Wood , T. Wilson , and E. Christopher . TO you the Sanctified , Elected , Purified , Mundified , Justified , and Separated Brethren , I make this worthy and acceptable ( although not Learned ) Apology . It is not unkown to you how often we have beene vilified by the name of Puritans , Brownists , Separatists , Familists , and ( at last ) censur'd with the detestable name of Round-heads and Prickeares ; that wee are so 't is confest , but why should we be tearmed so in the way of disgrace , or villification , the manner of speaking makes the difference , I have knowne one man call another Sir in anger , likewise a woman beat her Maid by the name of Gentlewoman , termes in themselves gracious and acceptable , but according to sinister construction , the parties so termed appeare scandalized and rediculous : next they abuse our Doctrine of Inspiration , and tell us it proceeds from the spirit of contradiction , but little do they imagine our contradiction is begot by inspiration : for unlesse our bodies be haunted with sanctified spirits , how is it possible we should reveale the word , since most of us scarce know a word of the Booke , and that is the reason that we can preach as well without a Booke as with it , but if we can continue and confide as wee have begun ( which I shrewdly doubt ) it shall bee lawfull for every Elder and every Select Brother to use a Horn-booke ( provided he be married ) for I have heard a little reading will do a man no hurt , let him be learned past the Graces and the Sacraments , and ( for ought I know ) hee may bee as fit to teach as the best on 's , and go roundly on with his businesse , according to his own head , and in conclusion gain the prick and praise , agreeing with his Auditors Eares , which are long enough to make Asses of those that write our Names backwards , and fix them before libellous Sermons , saying they do NOT RVB , when they do Rub , and rub the skin of to , wofull experience has made it manifest , but thogh we desire to have our heads rounded , we not care to have them rounded so close ; there ought to be a mean in all things , but now I le proceed to my Apologie which must prove how necessary it is for a Tradesman of any degree , to preach in a Tub , reach against the back of a Chaire , instruct at a Tables end , exhorting over a Buttery hatch , Revealing in a Basket , Reforming on a Bed-side : I shall begin with the first , and produce you the sacred Antiquity of Tubs , in the Days of Dido and Richard the third , There lived an honest , Religious , and fair spoken man called Diogenes , a Round-dealing Man , and was so inspired with the spirit of oposition , that he boldly durst affront the King , and bid him stand from betwixt him and the Sun ; and beleeve it there was some mistery in those words : This man ( to make short of my Tale ) lived in a Tub , and he being a devout man , we must of necessity have this Argument allowed , that if he lived in a Tub , he preached also in a Tub , so that at last hee Reformed the King , who would daily leave his Palace to hear his worthy and Religious Tub Lectures , I wish our Times would not be more proud then the former , hee was a man of good life and conversation , and the Squares went Round with him , and when hee was smitten in Age , the King gave him the Title of Elder every day with which he continued till the houre of his Death , and so much for this piece of Antiquity . In the dayes of King Arthur of Bradley , and his four hundred forty sixe Elders of the Round Table , the first men that ever wore Round-Robins , there lived a Pastor whose Fame ( you all have had a spice of ) called Cornelius , a sickly man , and did all in a Tub with very good Ordure , and one that was inspired with the spirit of Repentance , and a man whose Zeal to the Sister-hood hath caused him in one Lecture to sweat six hours by the clock , where it was his Fate by the heat of overmuch Devotion , to conclude his dayes , and preach his own Funerall Sermon . And so much Testification I think may stand to justifie the lawfulnesse of the aforesaid Tub , whose spirituall Hoopes I hope vvill never fayle . The Back of a Chaire is so far from having priority of the TVB , that it is much inferiour to it , and is never provided , but vvhen the good Wife hath employed the TVB about some other businesse , the body must as vvell be eased as the mind , but most commonly it is a vvicker Chair , vvhich though it bee not altogether Round , is halfe round , and doth almost agree as well with the spirituall groane as the Tub , and in case of necessity may serve as well ( take top and bottome ) as the Tubbe ; but we doe not boldly ( as that Arch Square head of prophanenesse the Pope doth ) tearme our Chaire St. Peters Chaire , though wee have much more reason , and so it being needlesse to justifie with stronger Arguments the benefit of the Chaire , it being toward noon , I will draw neere the Tables end , where I doubt not but I shall picke out many wholesome Arguments , and enough to satisfie any reasonable man without that prophane porridge the Service-Book , and in this piece of Doctrine ( by your favour ) will be my owne Carver : this Table being finished with substance to worke upon will allow a sweete savour , and not strengthen but advance the spirit , and maintaine it when it is up , then if this place be not fit that alloweth both forme and matter , I le stand to the censure of the veriest Epicure , who I beleeve would sooner swallow this Doctrine than a great many that seeme to make a more religious profession : And now I have satisfied at the Tables end , I will make no more Apologie for it , since apparant truths are rather hindered then helped with tedious Arguments . I will now set forward to my Revelation in a Basket , which hath beene held sacred because it was given at the cost and charges of our inspired Basket maker , a man inspired with much Charity , and got all his reliefe by the Basket , it was by himselfe dedicated to the Sheriffes , and by them well furnished for the full edification of the poore , needy , and imprisoned brethren , who have suffered for the conforming and tearing off of Surplices ; and why may not a man piously and zealously confirm the aged , and enstruct the youth in a Basket , as well as in a pulpit : the Tables end Lecture being ended for the Rich , the Basket Lecture for the poor and needy , let us proceed to the Buttery Hatch , which is the fittest place in my opinion to administer the liquor of Life and spiritual drops of comfort , where some zealous men of our Brother-hood have so overtyred themselves with earnestnesse in this Doctrine , that they have growne uncensible , not able to stand on their legs , or give a ready word , that even with Maudlin sorrow perceiving their weaknesse to proceed no further , they have wept with very griefe , being supported home with expectation of next mornings Remedy . But he whole strength of brain and power of Spirit will preserve to hold out this Buttery Hatch Lecture , may with much ease administer Reformation on a Bed-side , where inspired with the Spirit of Vnity , we constantly conclude , and joyn in a copulative love without the unnecessary assistance of any light , but the flame of our own Zeal , with which I doubt not , but that we are equally furnished , proceeding from the pretious Coals of Devotion : and inflamed by the provoking Administry of the last Doctrine . I hope these Arguments will suffice sufficiently to ●nform you of the necessary and profitable causes we have to vindicate and appologize for the Dignity of private preaching in so many Forms and according to this Method I shal now march on to the spiritual Postures , which have allusion to those for Pike and Musket , in which I will not prove tedious . It is not unknown to you my beloved Round-heads that there may be a spirituall warfare , in which you are not particularly exercised in the postures of your Doctrine you will goe neere to suffer , and all the select of us ; the first I will instruct you in shall be that alluding to Pike . Round heads stand to your Armes . When Authority is absent , — Disorder your Doctrine . When present , — Order your Doctrine . If absent againe , — As you were . If you conceive you shall have the better on 't , Shoulder your Doctrine and march . If Authority bee too strong , then ( Round-heads ) as you were . If Authority appeare weake . Advance your Doctrine . If strong , — As you were . If you get stronger in Faction , — Charge to the you . But if Authority come in full power , — Faces about . Prick-eares , stand to your Armes . Now Authority is gone , — Make ready your zeale . If Authority appeare not yet , — Charge your zeale . If you expect the Victory — Ioyn your zeale and rest together Blow your zeale . Prime your zeale . Blow off your loose zeale . If Authority come not yet , for out Sisters sake Cock your zeale , Guard your zeale . Blow the coale of your zeale Now if you thinke to overcome Authoritie , Present your zeale to the Left , and give fire to the Right . But if you be vanquishd betwixt this and Paddington , Faces about . FINIS . 
A64158	----	A brief director for those that would send their letters to any parts of England, Scotlaud, or Ireland. Or A list of all the carriers, waggoners coaches, posts, ships, barks, hoys, and passage-boats, that come to London, from the most parts and places, by land & sea Alphabetically printed, so that none may pretend ignorance, who would gladly send, but know not where to carry their letters. With the dayes when they come, and when they return. And also to send letters to the most habitable parts of the world, and to have an answer. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64158 of text R218870 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T434AA). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 18 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64158 Wing T434AA ESTC R218870 99830426 99830426 34877 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64158) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 34877) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 2022:20) A brief director for those that would send their letters to any parts of England, Scotlaud, or Ireland. Or A list of all the carriers, waggoners coaches, posts, ships, barks, hoys, and passage-boats, that come to London, from the most parts and places, by land & sea Alphabetically printed, so that none may pretend ignorance, who would gladly send, but know not where to carry their letters. With the dayes when they come, and when they return. And also to send letters to the most habitable parts of the world, and to have an answer. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [8] p. s.n., [London : 1642?] Attributed by Wing to John Taylor. Caption title. Imprint from Wing. Reproduction of the original at the Harvard University Library. eng Postal service -- England -- London -- Early works to 1800. Postal service -- England -- Handbooks, manuals, etc. -- Early works to 1800. A64158 R218870 (Wing T434AA). civilwar no A brief director for those that would send their letters to any parts of England, Scotlaud, or Ireland. Or A list of all the carriers, waggo Taylor, John 1642 2848 120 0 0 0 2 0 492 F The rate of 492 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the F category of texts with 100 or more defects per 10,000 words. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-07 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-08 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A BRIEF DIRECTOR FOR THOSE That would send their Letters to any parts of England , Scotlaud , or Ireland . Or a List of all the Carriers , Waggoners Coaches , Posts , Ships , Barks , Hoys , and Passage-boats , that come to London , from the most parts and places , by Land & Sea . Alphabetically Printed , so that none may pretend Ignorance , who would gladly send , but know not where to carry their Letters . With the dayes when they come , and when they return . And also to send Letters to the most habitable parts of the World , and to have an answer . A. The Carriers of Abbington lodge at the George in Bredstreet , come on Wednesday , and go on Thursday . Ali●bury , Buckinghamshire at the George at Holborn-Bridge , the Swan in the Strand , the Angel behind St. Clements Church , and the Bell in Holborn ; every other day . St. Albans , on Friday , at the Peacock in Aldersgate-street ; a Coach to the Bell there on Tuesday . A●our at the Castle in Woodstreet , on Thursd. Frid. and Saturday . B. Bla●vile , Dorcet . at the Chequer near Charing Crosse , every second Thursd. Bl●ndford at the Rose at Holborn bridg . Braintree & Bocking in Essex , at the Talbot in Gracious street , com on Thursdays , and go on Fridays . Bathe at the Three Cups in Bredstreet , on Fridays , and go on Saturdayes . Bristol there also , on Th●rsdays at the Swan neer Holborn Bridge . Brereton in Dorce● : at the Rose near Holborn-Bridge , on Thursdays , & go on Fridays . Blackburn in Lancashire at the Bell in Friday-street , on Wednesdays and Fridays . Be●●e in Lancashire , at the Ax in Alderman-bury on Wednesdayes and Fridayes . From Buckinghamshire and Bedfordshire , at the Sarazens head without Newgate ; and at the Queens Arms near Holborn-bridge , at the Windwill in St. Johns street . Broomsbury at the Mayden-head in Cateaten street , on Thursdays , and Fridays . Bingham , Notting . on Fridays , at the Bull in Smithfield-bars . Burford , Oxon. at the Bell in Friday-street , on Thursday . Buckingham at the Kings Head in the old Change . Wednesdays and Thursdayes , and at the Sarazens-head in Carterlane . Fridays at the George near Holborn-bridge , on Wednesdays . Bewdley at the Castle in W●●●street , Thursdays . Brackley at the George near Holborn-bridge , on Wednesdays . Banbury at the George near Holborn-bridge , Wednesdayes . Bedford at the Three Horshoes in Aldersgate street , on Thursdayes . Bridgenorth at the Maidenhead in Cateaten-street . Bury at the Dolphin without B●shopsgate , on Thursdayes . The Waggons of Bury come every Thursday to the Four Swans in Bishopsgate-street . A Foor-Post from the said Berry , on Wednesday , to the Green-Dragon in Bishopsgate-street . Barstable at the Star in B●●dstreet , on Fridays . Bampton at the Mermaid in Carterlane , on Thursdayes . Brill at St. Pauls Head in Carterlane , on Tuesdayes . Bampton at the Bear at Basingshaw , on Tuesdays . Balcomb at the Crown in Basinglane , on Fridayes . Broughton at the Ax in Aldermanbury , on Friday . A Coach gots to Buk from the Kings Arms at Leaden-hall . C. Colchester doe lodge at the Crosse-keys in Gracious-street , on Thursdayes . Che●●am at the White heart in Holborn . Cogshall at the Spread-Eagle in Gracious-street , Thursdayes . Chippinganger in Essex , Wednesdayes , to the Crowne without A●gate . Cheltenham in Glo●● . Cambden , Chippin-Norten , Fridayes , at the three Cup● in B●edstreet . Chester at B●●soms Inn , in St. Laurence-lane , Fridayes and Saterdayes . Congerton in Cheshire at the Ax in Aldermanbury , on Thursdayes and Fridayes . Chard in Dorcetshire at the Queens Arms near Holborn-bridge , on Fridays , and at the George in Bredstreet . Cole-Ashby in Nothamp . at the B●●● in Smithfield , Cra●●ley in Bedfordsh : at the Bear and Ragged staffe in Smithfield , on Thursdayes . Coventry in Warwicksh . at the R●m in Smithfield , on Wednesdayes and Thursdayes . Creet in Leicestersh . at the Rose in Smithfield . Coaches from Cambridge , on Thursday and Friday at the black Bull in Bishopsgate-street . Coventry at the Ax in Aldermanbury , on Thursdayes . Cambridge at the Bell in Colemanstreet , on Thursday . Foot-post of Canterbury , every Wednesday and Saturday , to the Swan at Summers key . Crookborn in Devonshire doe lodge at the Queens Arms near Holborn-bridge , on Tuesdayes . C●ln in Lancash . at the White horse at Cripple-gate , on Wednesday . Chesterfield in Derbish . at the Castle in Woodstreet , on Wednesday . D. Dunmore in Essex , at the Saracens-head in Gracious-street , Thursdayes and Fridayes . The Wagons lye at the Crown without Algate . Di●marsh in Barksh . at the George in Bredstreet . Doncaster in Yorksh. at the B●●ll . Savag● without Ludgate , on Fridays and Mondayes . D●rchester at the Rose near Holborn-bridge , Thirsdayes . Denbigh in Wales , at Bos●ms Inn every Thursday . Daintree , Friday , at the Crosse keys in St. Johns street . From Duncebanger at the three Cups in St. John street . Derby and Derbishire at the Ax in Aldermanbury , Fridays , and at the Castle in Woodstreet Thursdays and Fridayes . E. Epping in Essex , at the Princes Arms in Leadenhal-street Thursdayes . Exeter at the Star in Bredstreet on Fridayes , and at the Rose neer Holborn-bridge on Thursdayes . Evesham in Worcest . at the Castle in Woodstreet , Friday . F. Feckingham Forest in Worcestersh. at the Crown in high Holborn ; and at the Queens-Head in St. Giles in the Fields . Farington in Barkshire , at St. Pauls head in Carterlane , on Tuesdayes . G. Grindon Vnderwood in Bucks. at St. Pauls head in Carterlane , on Tuesdayes . Gloucester at the Saracens head without Newgate , and at the Saracens head in Carterlane , on Fridayes . Waggons every week from Gloucestershire , at the Swan near Holborn Bridge . H. Hadley in Suffolk , at the Kings Arms in Leadenhall-street , on Wednesdayes . Huntington at the white Hinde without Cripplegate , on Thursdayes . Hereford at the Kings Head in the Old Change , on Fridayes . Halifax at the Grey-hound in Smithfield , and at the Bear in B●lingshaw , likewise at the Ax in Aldermanbury , also at the White Hart in Coleman-street . Hatfield in Hertford at the Bell in St. John street , Thursdayes . Harding in Hertford . at the Cock in Aldersgate-street , on Tuesday . Waggon lies at the Bull in Bishopsgate street , Mondayes , &c. A Coach from Hartford : every Friday to the Four Swans within Bishopsgate . A Coach from Hatfield every Friday , to the B●ll in Aldersgate-street . Highworth at the Rose at Holborn-bridge , on Saturday . I. Ipswich at the George in Lumbard street , Thursdays . The Post of Ipswich at the Crosse-keys in Gracious street , on Thursdayes . Ingerst●ne in Essex , on Wednesday , to the Kings Arms in Leadenhall street . Jewel in Dorcet , at Jarrets Hall . Isle of Wight at the Bell-Savage , and Bell in Friday street , on Saturdayes . K. Keinton in Warwick . at the Bell in Friday-street , Fridayes . Kingston upon Hull , at the Bull in Leadenhall-street . Kendall at the White Horse without Cripple-gate , on Thursday . L. Lincoln at the White Horse without Cripple-gate , on Friday . Laighten Beudesart , at the Harts-Horns in Smithfield , Mondayes . Leic●ster at the Saracens head without Newgate , and at the Castle near Smithfield-bars on Thursdayes . Lewton in Hertford . at the Cock in Aldersgate-street , Tuesd. Leeds in York . at the Bear in Basingshaw , wednesday , and at the Ax in Aldermanbury . Leicester at the Red Lyon in Aldersgate-street . Loughborough at the Ax in Aldermanbury . M. Malden in Essex at the Cross-keys in Gracious-street , Thursdayes . Monmouth at St. Pauls head in Carterlane . Marlborough at the Swan near Holborn-bridge , Thursdayes . Manchester at the Bear in Basingshaw , on Thursdayes . And at the Ax in Aldermanbury , and at the Two-necked Swan in Ladlane . Mansfield in Nottingh . at the Castle in Woodstreet , Thursdayes . Maxfield in Cheshire , at the Ax in Aldermanbury , thursdayes . Middlewich at the Ax in Aldermanbury , on Fridayes . N. New Elm at the George in Bredstreet , wednesdayes . Netherly in Stafford . at the Bear and ragged Staff in Smithfield , thursday . Northampton and Nottingham at the Ram in Smithfield , Saturday . Norwich at the Dolphin without bishopsgate , Mondayes . Nantwich in Cheshire , at the Ax in Aldermanbury , on wednesday . Nun●aton in Warwick . at the Ax in Aldermanbury , Friday . Newbery at the Kings arms near Holborn-bridge , wednesdayes . Northwi●h in Cheshire , at the Ax in Aldermanbury , Thursday . From Newark in Notting . a Coach and Waggon on Saturdayes , at the Crosse keyes in Whitecrosse-street . Naylans at the four Swans in bishopsgatestreet . O. Oxford at the Saracens head without Newgate , and in Warwick lane . O●ey in Bucks. at the Cock in Aldersgate-street , on Mondayes . Oundle in Northamp . at the Ram in Smithfield . Ockingham at the White Horse in Friday street , Fridayes . P. Preston in Lancash . at the Bell in Friday-street . Pontefract in York . at the Bell in Basingshaw , on Wednesdayes . R. Redding in Berks. at the George in Bredstreet , Thursdayes . Ro●hdel in Lancash . at the Ax in Aldermanbury wednesday . Richmond in Yorksh. at the Bell in Basinghalstreet , and Rippon , wednesday . S. Sudbury in Suffolk , at the Saracens head in Gracious-street , on thursdayes . Sabridgew●rth in Hertfordsh . and Stock in Essex , at the Kings arms in Leadenhall-street , thursdayes . Stroodwater in Glouc. at the B●ll in Friday-street , Fridays . Soisam in Northamp . at the Saracens-head in Carterlane , fridays . Sheffield in Yorksh. at the Castle in Woodstreet , thursdayes . Swallowfield in Berks. at the black Bull in Holborn , thursdayes . Salisbury at the Queens arms neer Holborn bridge on thursday . Shrewsbury at Bo●oms Inn , on thursdays , Skittlebrig and Ferribrig at the Bell at Basinghall , wednesdays . Stoppard in Che●… ; at the Ax in Aldermanbury . Stonystr●…-ford at the Rose and Crown in St. Johns street , tuesday . From Saffron-Market is a Foot-post at the Chequer in Holb . Stampford at the B●…l in Aldersgate-street , wednesdayes . The Waggon from Sa●…-Walden in Essex , at the Bull in B●…street , tuesdayes . S●…bury and 〈◊〉 , at 〈◊〉 hall on Fridayes . S●…ford in Ch●…ire at the Ax in Aldermanbury . Staford at the Swan ●…h two Necks in Ladlane , thursdayes . Coach from Stanford in 〈◊〉 st . to the Cro●…-keys in Whitecrosse-street , saturdayes . T. Teuxbury in Glouc. at the three Cups in Bredstreet , fridayes . Tame in Oxon. at the S●…ns head in Carterlane , fridays . 〈◊〉 in Devon . at the Star in Bredstreet , on fridays . 〈◊〉 in Northamp . at the Castle in Smith●…ld Thursdayes . V. 〈◊〉 , or D●…vifes , at the Swan near H●…lborn-bridge , on Thursdayes . W. ●…ver in B●…s . at the black Swan in Holborn , Tuesday . W●…m in Essex at the C●…ste-keys in Gracious-street , Thursdayes . Wallingfield in ●…olk , at the Spread-Eagle in Graci●…-street , Thursdayes . Wallingford , 〈◊〉 at the George in Bredstreet , wednesdayes . Win●…mb in Glouc. at the three Cups in Bredstreet , fridayes . Warwick at the Bell in Friday-street , fridayes . A Waggon from Ware at the Vine in Bishopsgate-street , fridayes . Woodstrck in Oxon. Wantege , Berks. at the Maremaid in Carterlane , Thursdayes . W●…ster , at the Castle in Woodstreet , and at the Mouth at Aldersgate , on fridayes . W●…e in Bucks. at the George neer Holborn-bridge , wednesday . Watford in Middl●…sex at the Swan near Holborn-bridge . Wells in Somers. at the Rose near Holborn-bridge , Thursdayes . Witney in Oxon. at the Saracens head without Newgate , wednesdayes . Winchester at the Rose at Holborn-bridge on Thursday . Witney at the Maydenhead in Ca●…-street , Thursdayes . W●…cest . and Warwick . at the Rose & Crown in High-Holborn . Walsingham in No●… . at the Chequer in Holborn , Thursday . Wendover in Bucks. at the Bell in Holborn . A Foot-post cometh to the Croste keys in Holborn every second Thursday . W●…field in Yorksh. at the Bear in B●…singshaw , the Ax in Aldermanbury , and the White-hart in Coleman-street , on Thursdayes . VVarrington and VViggon , at the B●…il in Friday-street , wednesdates . Y. 〈◊〉 . at the B●…ll-Savage without Ludgate , on friday . A F●…-post from ●…rk to the Rose and Crown in S●… . 〈◊〉 street , Thursday . The Inns and Lodgings of the Carriers 〈◊〉 come into the ●…urrough of 〈◊〉 cut of the Counties of ●…nt , S●…x , and Surrey . A Carri●… from Ry●… in Surrey , ●…nes every Thursday to the P●…con in 〈◊〉 . T●…bridge , of Seve●… , of Faul , and ●…burst in Kent , at the Katherine Wheel on Thursdayes : 〈◊〉 Carriers of Mar●… , 〈◊〉 and W●…bleton in Su●…x . On Thursdayes from H●…st and ●…by in Kent ; and from Darling and ●…bead in Surrey , to the Greybound in Southwark . Te●… and ●…st in Kent , and B●…lin Suex , at the Spur in Southwark , on Thursd. To the Queens head in Southwark on wednesd . come from P●…b in H●…stire , and from C●…ster 〈◊〉 Arundel Billingburst , Rye . 〈◊〉 , and W●…st , in Sussix , and from 〈◊〉 and Li●…vil in Surrey . Cr●…broke , Bev●…den , in Kant , and from L●…is P●…h V●…field , and C●…field in Suss●…x , do lodge at the ●…bot in Southwark , on wednesdayes . To the George in Southwark , on Thursdayes come from Gilford , 〈◊〉 , Gou●…st , and Cbiddin●…n in Surrey . To the White Hart in the Burrough of Southwark , come from D●…r Centerbury , Sandwhich , Bidd●…den , Mayfield , Ed●…bridge , He●… , VVi●… , , on Fridayes . From , to the Kings head in Southwark , on Thursday . A C●…rier from Tunbridge to the Green Dragon in Foul-lane , and Queen●… Head in S●…ark , on Friday . From E●…me 〈◊〉 , cometh a Coach and Waggon to the King●… Head in Southwarke every other day . Certain Directions for to find out Ships , Barks , and Hoighs that doe come to London . A Hoigh from C●lchester comes to Smarts Key weekly . From Ipswich or Lyn , to Dice key . From Barwick to Galley key . From Ireland , Pool , Plimouth , Dartmouth , VVeymouth , to Chesters key . From Sandwich or Dover in Kent , to S●bbs Dock . From Rochester , Marget , Feversham , and Maidstone , to Katherines D●ck . From Scotland , at the A●mitage . From Dunkirk at the Custome-house key . From Holland or Z●●land , at the Brewhouses in St. Katherines . At Lyon key Tide-boats passe between London and Deptford , Greenwich , VVoolwich , Erith , Greenhith , Raynam , Tu●fleet , and Grayes . At Billingsgate are Barges , Light-horsemen , Tilt boats , and Wherries , to Gravesend , Milton , or further . Passage boats to carry Passengers either East or West , about London-bridge . At Bull Wharf come boats twice a week , which carry Goods between London , and Kingston upon Thames , and Colebrook . Boats for Passengers and Goods , to Henly , Maidenhead , VVindsor , Stanes , Chertsey , and Redding , at Queenhith . All those that would send Letters to the most habitable parts of the world , or to any parts of Great Britain , either England , Scotland , or Ireland , let them repair to the Generall Post-Master at the Stocks by the Exchange . 
A64159	----	The Brownists conventicle, or, An assemble of Brownists, separatists, and non-conformists as they met together at a private house to heare a sermon of a brother of theirs neere Algate, being a learned felt-maker contayning the whole discourse of his exposition with the manner and forme of his preaching, praying, giving thankes before and after dinner and supper : as it was lately heard and now Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64159 of text R532 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T436). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 23 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 6 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64159 Wing T436 ESTC R532 12768720 ocm 12768720 93624 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64159) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 93624) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 254:E164, no 13) The Brownists conventicle, or, An assemble of Brownists, separatists, and non-conformists as they met together at a private house to heare a sermon of a brother of theirs neere Algate, being a learned felt-maker contayning the whole discourse of his exposition with the manner and forme of his preaching, praying, giving thankes before and after dinner and supper : as it was lately heard and now Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 8 p. s.n.], [S.l. : 1641. A satire by John Taylor. Cf. BM. Illustrated t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Dissenters, Religious -- England. A64159 R532 (Wing T436). civilwar no The Brownists conventicle: or an assemble of Brownists, separatists, and non-conformists, as they met together at a private house to heare a Taylor, John 1641 4259 9 0 0 0 0 0 21 C The rate of 21 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-03 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-04 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-05 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2002-05 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-06 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion The Brownists Conventicle : Or an assemble of Brownists , Separatists , and Non-Conformists , as they met together at a private house to heare a Sermon of a brother of theirs neere Algate , being a learned Felt-maker . Contayning the whole discourse of his Exposition , with the manner and forme of his preaching , praying , giving thankes before and after Dinner and Supper , as it was lately heard and now discovered by a brother of theirs who is turned out of their Society upon some discontent , to be buffeted by Sathan . His Auditors were Button-makers , Translaters , Weavers , Box-makers , with divers other holy Brethren and Sisters . Printed 1641. The Brownists Conventicle . Contayning their manner and forme of their preaching , praying , eating , and drinking , &c. HEreticks , Schismaticks , Novellists , Seperatists , have beene in all ages , and long before the Gospel was preached : there were amongst the Jewes a Sect who called themselves Abel●sts , of Abel the Proto-Martyr of the world , who required such chastity in marriage , that they would admit of no congresse , or mutuall consociety betwixt man and wife : but it was an Heresie suddenly set up , and as soone suppressed . The Essees , or Esseans , retired themselves to solitude , and separated themselves from the Congregations , who were abstemious in their diet , and strict and austere in all their deportments , harmelesse to others , onely rigid to themselves , in so much that it is observed , that our Saviour was silent concerning them , when he so severely reproved the Scribes , Pharisees , and Sadduces . The Pharisees strived to come neere to the Law , and were a strict and exact Sect , but corrupt both in their doctrine , demeanour , and conversations . The Sadduces were but few , but those great and rich men , who were of a more obtuse and stupid apprehension , denying the resurrection . To come to our owne home , almost in every domesticke Diocesian Parish , we have Novellists , some Thraskites , or Sabbaterians , Banisterians , Brownists , and Anabaptists , which puts mee in mind of a young Lubber of that Sect , who being brought as a witnesse to take his oath in Court , and the Judge by accident asking of what age hee was ? who answered him , that he was 3 yeares old . Three yeares old ( replyed the Judge ) and no more ? how can that possibly be , seeing thou art of that full growth and bignesse ? Who answered him gain Uerily I reckon mine age but from the time since I was last baptized . Then we have your Familists : but of all the rest which is of greatest remark , there is sprung up a new Sect of Adamists , who take their denomination from our first father Adam , and these with men and women promiscuously mingled , have their private meetings , where they will not heare the Word preached , nor have the Sacrament administred unto them , but naked , not so much as fig-leave breeches upon them , thinking thereby to imitate our first Parents in their innocency . Some of these Separatists have their Conventions within the wals of the City . Others have made their assembly in the fields , some in woods , and upon Hye-gate and Hamsted hils , and such like places . In some families the women catechize and preach , making the back side of her gro●ning Chaire the Pulpit , their prayers being unpremeditate and without president ; for nothing can passe muster , which proceeds from their mouths , which is not extravagant ex tempore . Nay , some most prophanely , I may say blasphemously , have beene heard to say , that they could make a better prayer than that which our Saviour himselfe taught to his Disciples . Further , these our Sectaries will endure no degrees in Schooles , all learning must be layd by , Academyes are to them abhominable , thereby cohering with the grand Adversary of our Christian saith the Turk , who will suffer no University thorow his whole Deminions : All his Creatures must be Souldiers , no Schollers , nor suffred to meddle with the Alcaron , but the Mufti , and those idolatrous Flamins belonging to the Order : nay , herein they punctually comply with the Papists , whose doctrine they pretend utterly to abhor ; who hold that Ignorance is the mother of Devotion . And of these opinions was How , the notorious Predicant Cobler , whose body was buried in the high way by Dame Agnes á Cleere , and his Funerall Sermon preached by one of his Sect in a Brewers Cart . Such an Anti-Bishop was Eaton , the famous Button-maker in Saint Martins , and a Shooe-maker that dwelt betwixt Pauls Chaine and Old Fish-street , whose name I remember not , and now the onely famous seeming Predicants are one Greene a Felt-make , and a fellow who was once a Serving-man . To rip up all the whole rabble , would take up too great time , and blot too much paper . Hence come those violent outrages , and sacrilegious disorders committed in the Church , even in the time of Divine Service , and hubbub , and strange tumults raised , where nothing but reverent silence ought to be used , by laying violent hands upon the Minister , rending his Master of Arts hood from his neck , and tearing the Surplice to filters upon his back , he hardly scaping from being torne peece meale in his owne person , and this even when the Psalme was singing , and the Preacher ready to goe up to deliver his Sermon , as like wise rending the railes from before the Communion Table , and then chopping them in peeces , and burning them in the Church-yard , and this to be ryotously done wit●out authority , commission , or order . But when any man shall take upon him a further power than peaceable Justice requireth , he perisheth from the Church ; and whilst he proudly lifts up himselfe , branded with his owne arrogant presumption , he is bereft of the light of the truth . And now of late lest these supermysticall Sectists should be wanting in the Land , there is lately come over from New England , as from a New Hierusalem , one Samuel Eaton a Minister , who preached at Saint Iohns Church in Chester , that the very names of Parsons and Uicars were Antichristian , that Pastours and Teachers of particular Congregations , must be chosen by the people , that all humane inventions , in which he comprehends the Booke of Common Prayer , &c. are to God unsavoury and loathsome , that all Ecclesiasticall censures of Excommunication , and the like , ought to bee exercized by particular Congregations within themselves : Hee further denyes all Nationall , Provinciall , and Diocesian Churches , &c. And further , at Knutsford , a Market Towne in the same Countie , that every particular Congregation is an absolute Church , and it is to have all Ordinances and Officers within it selfe , that the members thereof must be only Saints , who must enter into covenant amongst themselves , and no covenant no Church , and that it was a grievous sin to be present where Prayers were read out of any book whatsoever , either by the Minister or any other , &c. Two or three houres did our learned Felt-maker preach , and declare himselfe to his deare brethren and good sisters , which expressions took very well . And these are they that prate , not preach , like men raptur'd with their owne spirituall non-sense . I cannot stand upon the miserable inconveniences depending upon this fantasticall doctrine , of which I could wish there were not so many simple seduced Disciples . Now all these Innovators in generall , are Arch-enemies to Lent , Saints Eves , Ember weeks , Fast dayes , and Good Fridayes . Imagine their Exercise is done , and high time to goe to refresh themselves ; this holy brother which preached this and the like sort of Doctrine , was envited to another brothers house to dinner , which was there present , and being come and meat set upon the table , and all the Saints set at boord , hee began to say Grace , which is to this effect , having first surveyed every dish , and in what order it was placed at the boord , he began his thanksgiving as followeth . The Grace before Dinner . COrroborate these thy good gifts unto our use , I beseech thee good Father , and make us thankfull for all these thy bountifull blessings upon this boord , to nourish our corrupt bodies . These are boyl'd Chickens ( I take it ) let this dish of Chickens put us in mind of our Saviour , who would have gathered Hierusalem together as an Hen gathereth her chickens , but she would not : but let us praise God for these chickens , which are set before us , being six in number . Let this leg of Mutton call us to remembrance , that King David was once a Shepherd ; and so was Christ the son of David . that good Shepherd , who having an hundred sheep , and losing one , to find that left ninetie and nine in the wildernesse . Here is an excellent Loyne of Ueale , let that prompts us to remember the Parable of the Prodigall child , whom to welcome home , the Father caused the fat calfe to be killed , which I thinke could not yeeld a better rump and kidney than is now visible before our eyes . And by this cramm'd and well fed capon , let us be mindfull of the cock , which crowed three times , when Peter had as often denyed his Master , for which he went out and wept bitterly . These Rabbets re collect us to think ( having worne fur upon their backs ) of the two wicked Elders , that lay in wait to betray the chastity of Susanna : but I feare I have too much over-shot my selfe in alleaging any example out of the prophane Apocrypha . What see I there ? a Potato pye , and a Sallad of Sparagus , these are stirring meats , and provocations to procreation , by which good God , wee desire thee that according to thy blessings to our first parents in Paradise , we may increase and multiply . And when that Gamond of Westphalia Bacon comes to be cut up , let us think of that herd of Swine , into which by the permission of our Saviour the Devils entered , and from an high rock hurried them headlong into the sea . And as for these thy good blessings that are from the land , so likewise make us thankfull for this thy bounty sent us from the sea , and first for this ●ole of Sturgeon , and let it so far edifie in us , as to thinke how great that Whales head was , which swallowed the Prophet Ionas , and kept him three dayes and nights in his belly . And though these Lobsters seeme to be in red coats like Cardinals , having clawes like Usurers , and more hornes than the Beast of Rome , which is the Whore of Babylon ; yet having taken off their Papisticall copes and cases , let us freely feed upon what is within ; for God regardeth not the outside , but the inside of man . I conclude with the fruit , which may it by thy grace so fructifie in our hearts , that these Pippins may put vs in mind of the Apple of the forbidden Tree , which our Grand mother Eve ( by the temptation of the Serpent ) tasted in the middle of the Garden . For had she not , vild wretch , eaten ye forbidden apple , all our Crabs had bin very good Pippins , and all our Thistles had beene very good Harti-choaks . And these Carawayes call to our remembrance that Manna which was like Coriander seed , by which the children of Israel were fed forty yeares together in the wildernesse . Thus as briefly as I can , I have gone thorow every dish on the boord , for every sundry dish ought to have a severall blessing . And now let us fall too , and feed exceedingly , that after our full repast , wee may the bettor prophesie . Then falling to , and feeding lustily , and dinner being ended , another began his Grace after meat , as followeth . The Grace after meat . WEe thank thee , good Lord , that as thou hast sufficiently satisfied these our bodies with the blessings of the earth , so thou hast the like care to feed our soules with the spirituall food of Heaven : And in this our thanksgividing , let us remember all the blessed Pastours and Professours , whether in Amsterdam or elsewhere : but especially the Ministers of the Church in New England , the New Ierusalem , as Master Samuel Eaton , lately come from thence , and the rest , with all our brethren and sisters , the Saints there , that little flock , of which our Saviour speaks in the Gospell , Feare not little flock , who forsoking , and utterly renouncing all the prophane and Papisticall ceremonies here at home , have left the Land , to professe the more pure and sincere truth and doctrine abroad ; as also for the seperated Saints here amongst us , the Elders and Deacons of our Cougregations wheresoever assembled , whether in any private houses within the city , or in any Cow-house , Barne , or Stable without the wals or whether in the fields , woods , or groves , wheresoever the holy Assembly is convented and gathered . As for the prophane Churches , in which Idols have been formerly worshipped , and Copes and Surplices ( the garments of the great Babylonish Whore ) are still worne , we utterly abhor them : Neither let us forget that holy and good mans precepts , who never spake unto us but with a great measure of the Spirit , I meane Master How the Cobler ; nor those Christian admonitions which were broken unto us by the breath of Master Eaton , the Button-maker in Saint Martins : nor those godly instructions which issued from the mouth of Master Greene the Felt-maker , with all the rest of their sanctified Society : As also for all our she fellow-Labourers in this our holy and good work , I meane those blessed and fruit-bearing women , who are not only able to talk on any Text , but search into the deep sense of the Scripture , and preach both in their owns families and else where . Whom though Saint Paul forbade to preach in the Church , yet he left them liberty to preach in the chambers : nay , we all therefore , both brethren and sisters , so use our Talents together , that the brethren may be daily regenerate and new borne , and the sisters so labour in their severall vocations , that it may be the encrease and multiplying of these thy Saints , Amen . After which they prepared for their after-noons Exercise . You have heard what doctrine hath beene preached by Master Samuel Eaton and others in the countrey , now you shall heare part of a Sermon preached , which was by one of the Elders , who was pickt out for that dayes Exercise , who took his Text the 12. of the Revelation , the 7 verse : And there was a battell in heaven , Michael and his Angels fought against the Dragon , &c. Grace & peace be multiplied . This Text dearly beloved brethren , and most dearly beloved sisters , may not unproperly be applyed to these present times , and to acts late in agitation , here is a combat spoken of betwixt Michael and the Dragon : now my deare brethren and sisters ; first , to enquire who is personated in Michael and his Angels , and who pointed at in the Dragon and his Angels . To save you men your looking , and you women your longing , I will tell you both , and that briefly thus . By this Michael and his Angels in my Text , is meant one particular Church , and peculiar Church : and you deare Saints of both sexes have bin sensible , you know many yeares we have most miserably suffered in all servitude and slavery : Now by the Dragon , the holy Ghost labours to delineate unto the great Dragon and Devill of Lambeth . I say unto you againe brethren , wicked Angels are the Bishops Deanes , Arch Deacons , Prebends , non residents , which live without the care and charge of soules ; I could have expressed it in Latin , but I hold it to bee the language of the beast of Rome , and therefore omit it as a Heathenish language : besides his other Procters , Prosectors , Pursuivants , Pariters , and all other his Ecclesiasticall Ministers and Officers . I had almost forgot his Advocates , Surrogates , with the Judges of his spirituall and Prerogative Courts , all which ( brethren ) are abhonomination in the eyes of the Lord & their very names stink in his nostrils : The Bishops function , deare brethren , is an Anti-christian calling ; & the Deanes & prebends are the frogs & the locusts mention'd in the Revelation : There is none of these Bishops but hath a pope in their bellies : I will tell you , deare brethren , they be papists in grain ; they are all of them unleavin'd soules , & now , I say , we have turned them over to be buffeted by ye vgly fin Satan . What then shall we say of all his toyes and popish trincats ? his invention and innovations ? Or what shall we think of their Altars , Images , unhallowed hoods , Surpleces and Coaps , with their unchristian cornerd Caps : their Palls , Albs , Rochets , Crosiers , Miters , Crosses , with all their traditions , Ceremonies , and unsanctified Superstitions ? What my brethren ( my sisters not forgotten ) are but as the very rags dropt from the whore of Babylons rotten garments : nay , their cleanest washt Surpleses are at the best but like Po●ters Frocks , which they weare when they carry burthens ; and they appeare in our eyes more slovenly and sluttish , than the very fulsome and foule smock she puts off when she shifts her selfe : nay , my deare brethren , there is another crosse which stands in our way , and is an eye-sore to our uprightnesse , that guilded idolatrous Crosse in Cheap side , which so many adore and reverence whe● they passe by it : then there is another crosse , which is our eare-sore , as well as our eye-sore , deare brethren , that is , those pipes , or Organs , as the reverend Scots Ministers call them ; which makes more noyse with their roaring , than all the Bulls of Bason did , when Og their King passed by them in triumph . What further may we liken that dogmaticall Dragon to : this litigious Arch Priest of Lambeth , than to a tyrannicall Nimrod , a proud Pharaoh , a politick Achitophel a wicked Haman , a cunning Caiphas , a iugling Pilot , a bloudy minded Herod , a persecuting Saul , and though he were a Batchelour , yet for a long time bore him as proudly as that Apocallypticall Beast of Rome with seven heads of impietie and ten hornes of iniquity : for how hath he persecuted this little flock of ours ? and when he would not be seene in it himselfe , be imployed his apostaticall agents to disturbe us in our Conventicles , and debar us the libertie of our Consciences : and my dear brethren & beloved sisters , was not this the very device ofan old D●gon , nay of a venemoous dragon ? and are not the Archbishops and Bishops , the very Buls of Bashan , their superiour and inferiour Officialls , and Officers , the great and little Foxes ? Those that wait on them , are the Wolves that would worrie the sheep and Lambs : and yet you see how in the end wee that may bee called the Michaelists , or Michaelitains , have in this great battatle late fought since the time of the Parliament , have subdued and overcome the Dragon and his Angels , so that their Court is no longer to be found at Lambeth● : so it is ( according to my Text ) no more to be found in Heaven . This Dragon , I say deare brethren , and beloved sisters , is that Nimrod of Lambeth , the great hunter , who with his bloud-hounds hunted and chaced us from one place to another . This was that proud Pharaoh , who would have us deliver up to the task masters the full tale of Brick , and yet would not allow us straw nor stubble to burne it . This is that politick Achitophel , who having mist of his designes , would saddle his Asse ( if hee had it ) and ride home to his house at Lambeth and hang himselfe . This is that wicked Haman , that would make havock of all us poore Mordecais , and the whole Nation of us distressed Jewes : ( for I know there be some Christians and Sabaterians amongst us ) but as he hath Idolatriz'd in the high places , wee hope to see him , like that Haman , mounted upon something fiftie Cubits high . This is that cruell Herod , but more bloudy hearted : he onely slew the Babes and Sucklings but this Dragon woul● make slaughters of all of you , deare brothers and sisters , for which hee shall bee eaten up with the wormes of his owne Conscience . This is that Caiphas , that would couzen us of our lives . That Pilot that would give partiall sentence against us ; & that Saul before he was Paul ) that would bring persecution amongst us , who are taken for the Olive-branches of the House of the Lord . And now where is their Starre-parlour , for Star-chamber I cannot call it : Chambers ( as we all know ) were made for rest and pleasure ; but this was onely for rigour and punishment : and where is now their High Commission Courts , by which the Saints hearts could not rest quiet in their bodies , nor their eares safe upon their heads ? But some of his servants report that he was cleare of all these ; but deare brethren , and best beloved sisters , I will tell you of what he was cleare : cleare from all sinceritie , vertue , and piety ; cleare from all charitie , veritie , and honestie : but he , with all the rest of the Archiepiscopacy , much contaminated with gormundizing and Hypocrisie : But where are his full and surfeting Tables , where hee safe plentifully feeding , with his Chaplins , gaping one at another : some gaping after fat bits , others after fat Benefices , they aspiring to the highest degrees after the Prelacy , and he alike ambitious after the Papacy . But what is now ( my deare brothers , and sweet sisters ) become of their vehement Orations , their demonicall disputations ? their syllogisticall examinations ? their Logicall Interpretations ? their erronious Equivocations ? their mentall Reservations ? and their iniust Condemnations of us that are the flock of the faithfull , and the onely reserved to eternall Salvation ? what I say , but that this great Dragon , and his Angels shall be precipitated to perdition , be hurryed to the inferiour parts of the earth , which is also called Hell , and Gehimon , and the tormenting Tophet , to which we also leave them , with all their Prelaticall trash and popish trumperles . 
A64160	----	Christmas in & out, or, Our Lord & Saviour Christs birth-day to the reader ... / [by] John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64160 of text R37876 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T439). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 28 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 9 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64160 Wing T439 ESTC R37876 17150610 ocm 17150610 105900 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64160) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 105900) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1160:10) Christmas in & out, or, Our Lord & Saviour Christs birth-day to the reader ... / [by] John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 16 p. Printed at the charge of the authour, London : 1652. Imperfect: stained and tightly bound, with print show-through and loss of print. Reproduction of original in the Huntington Library. eng Christmas -- England. Holidays -- England. A64160 R37876 (Wing T439). civilwar no Christmas in & out: or, Our Lord & Saviour Christs birth-day. To the reader. ... Thine John Taylor. Taylor, John 1652 5789 25 0 0 0 0 0 43 D The rate of 43 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the D category of texts with between 35 and 100 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-10 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-01 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2003-01 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion CHRISTMAS IN & OVT : OR , OUR LORD & SAVIOUR Christs Birth-Day . To the Reader . Good Joshua once ordain'd a Holy-Day , Because the Sun stood still in Gi●eon , And at his Prayers that the Moon did stay His course , above the Vaile of Aialon : And shal not Christians stil give thanks & praise On th' yearly day our blest redeemer came ? Shall Powder Treasons and thanks giving dayes Be still observed in Records of Fame ? Then let not Christs Birth-Day forgotten bee , Remember him that doth remember thee . Thine JOHN TAYLOR . LONDON , Printed at the Charge of the Authour , 1652. Christmas , or Christs Day , or Christs Birth-Day . IN imitation of my great and glorious Lord and Master ( Jesus Christ ) in love to them that hate me , I am come to them that love me not . My Almighty Master was , is , and ever will be GOD , from whom nothing was , is , or ever shall be hid ; and he did not onely know , but commiserate the miseries of his enemies ( most miserable mankinde ) to whom he had often sent his Patriarks , Prophets , and other Messengers of Peace and prosperity , and how they were , and should be entertained in the world ; God knew before , and all Histories of the sacred Volumes , or other Books of Eclesiasticall Writings will testifie . And as my good Master did know how coursely he should be dealt withall ( by misbelieving hard hearted Jewes ) yet he came on this Day , from whom I have my name of CHRISTMAS , or Christs Day : Even so , I come this 25. of December , though I know I shall be hardly welcome to a great many ; yet I am sure that as many as love my Master , will rejoyce to see this Day : But as my sirname of Mas , there is much exceptions taken , by some that understand not what Mas , or Christmas meaneth . I have heard Learned men say , that the word Mas doth signifie some heavy or ponderous thing , as Massa is a Wedge of Gold or Iron , or any thing that is pressed or made into a lump of any thick matter of Dough , or Curds , Cheese , or such like ; but my sirname of Mas is mistaken , for my name is Christi missi , or Christ sent , as being sent from God to us this Day . Christ had his Mission , he came not before he was sent ( as himselfe said to his Disciples . ) He that believes in you believes in me , and he that believes in me , believes in him that sent me . Here it is plaine that my Master was sent , and as he was sent , so he sent his Apostles , and they gave mission to the succeeding Ministery , and they that were sent went , and none were so bold to intrude into the Ministery without his Mission or Commission of being sent : and so much concerning my name of Christmas . But I am more properly called Christs Day , for he himselfe did honour me with that Name , and though all dayes are his ( for as he is God , he is the Antient of Daies ) for whem the Jewes did speak of ABRAHAM , Joh. 8 , 56 , My Master sayd , Before ABRAHAM was , I am , for ABRAMAM saw my Day , and rejoyced in it , and was glad . He appointed me to be the peculiar Day of his blessed Birth ; he was promised in Paradice , foretold and foreseen by the Patriarks and Prophets ; proclaimed by Angels , with Glory be to God in the highest , peace on Earth , good will towards men , Luk. 11. 14. A Song or Christmas Carroll , of three parts , to God , to Earth , to Men , ( Glory , Peace , & Good will ) a gracious Consort sung by celestiall Spirits , Angels , and a multitude of heavenly Souldiers , they sung and rejoyced all for our good , and not for their owne : Then let men sing Psalmes and Anthems in Churches , and Hymns and Carols in our Houses , let us give glory to God on high , and he will give us peace below . Faith is very clear sighted , for ABRAHAM was more than two thousand yeares before Christ came in the flesh , yet ( with the Eye of Eaith ) he saw Me , he saw my Master and my Masters day , and rejoyced in it ; and his rejoycing was approved of , but the Jews which rejoyced not were reprehended . The holy Patriark rejoyced , and Christ allowed it , and he did dislike the unbelieving Jews that rejoyced not . The Jewes did not ( and do not ) observe it , but all Christians did , doe , and will celebrate it and acknowledge it , for no Christian will strike , blot , or scrape Christs Day out of the Kalender . The Prophet Isaiah did write of Christs comming 600 years before he came , in these words , Behold a Virgin shall conceive and beare a Son , and he shall call his name IMMANUELL , or EMANUELL , Esay 8. v. 14. And again in the 9. Chapter v. 6. For unto us a Child is borne , and unto us a Son is given : He is born and unto us a Son is given born of the blessed Virgin his Mother , and given by Almighty God his Father : a Child Natus , a gift Datus , Is borne , Is given : The Prophet saies not , was borne and given , but Is , which is ever , in the present Tense , Borne still in the heart , soule , and memory of every Christian . He that Was , and Is , and Is to come , Was borne a Child and is born a Child unto us , Was given a Son , and is given a Son unto us , this Day of my Masters blessed Nativity . In the second of S. Luke , v. 10 11. Then the Angel said unto them , be not afraid , for behold I bring you glad tidings of great joy which shall be to all the people , a Saviour is born on this Day , Christs Day , Christs Birth-day , my day , Christmas day . The Angel appeared to the Shepheards , and told them newes of a Lamb , the Lamb of God that taketh away the sins of the World : a Lamb that was come to save all the sheep of Israel that were lost , and lost everlastingly we should have been , had not this blessed Lamb come and redeemed us . And as he was a Lamb , so likewise he was a Shepheard , the true Shepheard , the chiefe Shepheard , 1 Pet. 5. 4. the good Shepheard , Joh. 10 11. 14. so we read that his Birth and Birth-day was first made knowne unto Shepheards . Indeed Shepheards were in odious and contemptible abhomination amongst the Idolatrous Egyptians , Gen. 46. 32. So was and is my Master Christs Name and Birth-day to the misbelieving Jewes , miscreant Turke , and Sectarian , Schismaticall , out-side seeming Christians . This day he that was prophecied of to come , did come , and he that was promised is come ; an Angell preached at his comming , and Quires and multitudes of blessed Spirits sung , when our Saviour came , who was , is , and ever will be , not only a Saviour , but salvation it selfe . He was the Word , and the Word was God , and God was the Word . Here God ( the Word ) was a Childe , a Babe , an Infant ; and here the Word was not able to speak a word , Joh. 14. And the Word was made Flesh , and dwelt among us , we saw the glory thereof , as the glory of the onely begotten Son of the Father , full of Grace and Truth . God sent his Son this day ; note who he was that did send , and what it was that he sent : He sent first to us , that should in all humility have been Petitioners to him ; we were enemies to God , to us he had sent often by his Messengers ; but this Day he sent his Son , who was and is himselfe . Therefore let our deserved misery , and Gods undeserved mercy , love and compassion , be thankfully remembred this day , and every day in all places , times , ages , and generations . This Day , Mercy and Truth are met together , and Righteousnesse and peace have kissed each other , Truth shall flourish out of the Earth and Righteousnesse hath looked downe from heaven , Psal. 85. Here was a gracious and happy meeting , here the Lord Chiefe Justice of Heaven and Earth , brings justice , truth , and righteousnesse to judge , and mercy and compassion to save ; here mercy shewed her selfe a good Mistris to misery : This Day he came in clouts that will come in Clouds . And without controversie great is the Mystery of godliness , which is , God is manifested in the Flesh , justified in the Spirit , seen of Angells , preached to the Gentiles , believed on in the world , and received up in Glory , 1 Tim. 3. This was a great M●stery indeed ; this was the summe and substance of all Tropes , Types , Figures , Shadowes , Sacrifices , Ceremonies , and the one and onely absolute fulfilling and accomplishment of all Prophesies . And in the first Chapter to the Hebrewes , verse 1 , 2 , 3. the Apostle saith : And at sundry times , and in divers places , God spake in the old time to our Fathers by the Prophets ; in these last dayes he hath spoken to us by his Son . Thus my Master ( who had no beginning ) did begin this day to come and dwell amongst sinfull men ; the Son of God , the King of Glory came this Day , and this Day was the first Day of Christianity to all Christians , and as many as have true faith in Christ . This was he to whom God the Father said , Psal. 2. Thou art my Son , this Day have I begotten thee . And this was he that in the same Psalme was prophesied to say , Lord I will preach thy Law , and declare thy Will . The Evangelist S. Luke saith , Chap. 2. Ver. 12 , 13. And this shall be a sign unto you , you shall finde the Babe swadled and laid in a Cratch , some read it in a Manger . Here is to be noted the great humility of my Master , that though he were Lord and maker of all , the first joyfull tydings of his birth was , not brought to Princes and Potentates , or to Scribes , Pharisees , Lawyers , or Doctors ; but he was gratiously pleased to be first declared to poore and humble Shepheards , and not to be borne in any magnificent or stately Palace , or in the best room in the Inne : No , the Inkeeper had his Chambers filled with Guests more welcome and gainfull then Christ : There was no room for him in the Inne , therefore the Redeemer of mankind had entertainment in a Stable amongst Beasts , swadled and laid in a Cratch . Neither would he be borne in any great or glorious City , Jerusalem had not the honour to be graced with the Birth and first presence of the Son of God ; in great Cities there hath ever been more misery than mercy , and more persecution than pity ; therefore great Jerusalem was the place of his bitter death and passion , and little Bethlehem was honoured with his birth , as it was prophecied many years before , by the Prophet Micah , Chap. 5. in these words : And thou Bethlehem Ephrathah are little to be among the thousands of Judah , yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me , that shall be the Ruler in Israel , whose goings forth have been from the beginning , and from everlasting . And Heb. 2. 16. For he in no wise took the Angells ▪ but the seed of Abraham he took . He took our nature ( in the seed of Abraham ) upon him , the nature of Angells he took not : He came this day to help us , who had most need of a Saviour ; he gave to us not onely a dignity which he gave not to Angells , but also he gave himselfe for us , and sure we cannot take 〈◊〉 safer or wiser course , than thankfully with all humility 〈◊〉 give our selves to him that gave himself for us . My Master gave power to his Church to celebrate and to ordain and command the annuall celebration of his blessed Nativity , I have twelve dayes to attend me , and twelve moneths I do absent my selfe before I come again , the kinde or course entertainment , the courteous or churlish usage to me , doth not , or cannot increase , or diminish my Masters glory ; or adde to me , or take from me one minute of time ; if men could be as faithfull and charitable as Abraham , as humble as David , as milde and meek as Moses , as zealous as Elias , as patient as Job , as solicitous as Martha , and as devout as the blessed Virgin Mary : those gracious gifts have been , are , and will be a happinesse unspeakable to such as are by supernall grace endowed with them , but the profit of them is onely theirs that have them , for he that is rich in mercy , cannot be inriched by the piety-vertue , or merits of men ; so that every Christian may truly say , Lord the great love thou bear'st to me is thine , But all the profit of it 's only mine . So likewise if poore old Christmas day be made welcome , I am not the richer or fatter , if I be ill entertain'd , I will neither be poorer or leaner : Let them make me a feasting or fasting day , all my joy or grief is not of long continuance , I am but a short day , and not far from the shortest day , and therefore their loves are but short to my Master , that will not rejoyce and be glad at the comming of his anniversary Birth day . The old yeare was before Christ , when misbelieving Iewes and Gentiles lived in the darknesse of ignorant Idolatry under the Law , ( or without the Law ) but the New yeare came when the Father of Lights sent my Master ( the Light of the world ) who by the glorious light of his Gospell expelled and dispersed the black clouds and mists of Egyptian blindnesse , and devillish Idolatry . Therefore with the old year let is shake off our old faults , ( the deeds of darkness ) and with the new yeare let us be renewed in our minds , and follow the true light , and amend our maners , & let our hearts be fill'd with praises & thanksgivings , before our bellies be overfill'd with meat . There were lately some over curious , hot zealous Brethren , who with a superbian predominance did doe what they could to keep Christmas day out of England ; they did in divers places Preach Me for dead in Funerall Sermons , and labour'd tooth and nail to bury me alive in the grave of oblivion ; they were of opinions , that from the 24. of December at night , till the 7. of January following , that Plumb-Pottage was meer Popery , that a Coller of Brawn was an obhomination , that Roast Beef was Antichristian , that Mince Pies were Reliques of the Whore of Babylon ▪ and a Goose , a Turkey , or a Capon , were marks of the Beast . In detestation of which superstitious diet , they assum'd to themselvs spirituall and temporall jurisdiction , power , and authority to search and plunder Pottage-pots , to ransack and rifle Ovens , and to strip spits stark naked , and triumphantly carry the pillage to be disposed of as they pleased , for the profit and edification of the righteous , and chastisement of the wicked . As there are many sundry Nations , so are there as many inclinations : the Russian , Polonian , German , Belgian , are excellent in the Art of Drinking , the Spaniard will Wench it , the Italian is revengefull , the French man is for fashions , the Irish man Usquebagh makes him light heel'd , the Welsh mans Cowss-boby works ( by insusion ) to his fingers ends , and translates them into the nature of lime-twigs , and it is said , that a Scot will prove false to his Father , and dissemble with his Brother ; but for an English man he is so cleare from any of th●se Vices , that he is perfectly exquisite and excellently indued with all those noble above said exercises . I am old and bold to tell the nose wise Brethren of these critick daies , that my great Master is King of Kings , & Lord of Lords , whois the ancient of daies , who never had beginning , and never shall have end . And on this day , which is kept in a thankfull remembrance of his blessed incarnation , 1652 years since , I [ Christmas ] have not failed to make my aniversary & yearly progress into Christendom . When my Master Christ was graciously pleased to exchange his unexpressible grory for mans unsupportable misery , when ( in his mercy ) he put off the Majesty of his Godhead , and took upon him our miserable Manhood , leaving his glorious Throne for a Maunger , when he laid by his immortall honour , and cloathed himselfe with our shame , to free all true believers from eternall damnation : Then ( on his daies birth ) my day began . Then on that day , and at that time , as the Shepheards were in the field , they were saluted with an Angel , and a multitude of the heavenly Host with a most celestiall Carroll . Luk. 2. All glory be to God on the High'st , And on the Earth be Peace . Good will towards men , 't is the will of Christ , Our joyes should never cease . Thus was my good Master usher'd into the World , and for his sake , I with my followers ( being 12 daies in number ) honest Stephen & true John , with my Innocents Pages , and all the rest have been welcom'd and joyfully entertained ever since , by all sorts of people that have lov'd or do love and honour the memory of the birth-day of my gracious and glorious Lord and Master . But now of late the case is quite altred , Christ and Christmas are both alike welcome ; and if the Saviour of Mankinde should come personally here amongst us againe , he were likely ( through ignorance , malice , and madnesse ) to be re-crucified : if Christmas may be so bold as to aske those fiery spirited people the same question as my Master might have asked the Jews ; for which of my good works that I have done do you stone me ? So I may say to England , what harme have I ever done unto you ? I am sure I never perswaded you to be so uncharitable as to cut one anothers throats , and to starve and famish the poore ( as you have done continually ) and do still ever since you banished me from your territories , and it is to be feared that you will never be quiet , or have a happy Peace amongst you , till you do give me better welcome for my Masters sake ; he is the Prince of Peace , and his peace you will never have that do unthankfully dispise & neglect to solemnize the day of his most blessed Nativity . It is a lamentable and too long a story to relate in what a pittifull quandary I and my followers have been in any time these twelve years , when we came into this Country : I was in good hope that so long a misery would have made them glad to bid a merry Christmas welcome : But welcome or not welcome , I am come , and at my comming ( a little before day ) I heard the Cock crow merrily , which ● took for a good Omen , or Preface of a most free and jovial accommodation , which rejoyced me much , for I and m● men were as hungry as Hawks , and as cold as Snow-ball the sable curtains of the night being drawn , I gazed to an● fro to make choice of the best houses , and house-keeper to take up my quarters amongst them ; but alas , the com fort that I found was colder then the weather ; indeed saw many stately buildings , but very little smoak from the Chimnies , for most of the owners did carry their Kitchi● in Boxes , and the best and dearest part of their Roast-me● in Pipes ; besides there was a great complaint that Mr. 〈◊〉 and Mr. Plunder had plaid a long game at sweep-sta 〈…〉 mongst them , and that they would willingly have 〈…〉 ded good chear for me , but that they are so misera 〈…〉 that they were not able to feed themselves . This was no good news to me and my company ; we had not been used to such uncomfortable breakfasts , which made us all search up and down the chief Cities for better chear , but my especiall mind was to try the curtesie of London , where I entred a fair house which had been an Aldermans , but it was now possest with a grave Fox-fur'd Mammonist , whom I found sitting over a few cinders to warm his gouty toes , ( for no other part of him did need the comfort of a fire , ) from head to heel he was fur'd like a Muscovite , and instead of a Bible he had a Bond in his hand , which he poard upon to see if it were forfeit or no ; he seldome looked upward , but as it were riveted his eyes to the earth , as if he had been looking for a Mine : his keys of his treasure were hanged at his waste , and his clutches alwayes on them , and he no sooner espied me and my Company , but he cried Thieves , Thieves , and reviled his ●oor starveling servant , saying , thou Villain , hast thou let in base Rakehells to rob me , and cut my throat . Then I began to intreat him to be patient , saying , Sir , there are none here that intend to hurt you , if you take any ●arme , it must be your selfe that must do it to your selfe , ●nd not we . My name is Christmas these gray haired men that are with me , are men of my old acquaintance ; ●hey are all poor and true ; we are come to dine with you , out if it be not your pleasure to give us entertainment , it is not our purposes to force it . This old muck worme cast as dogged a look upon me as if I had brought him a privy Seal to borrow money , and ●t last he opened his mouth and said , thou old saucy intru●ing fellow , I prithee let me have thy absence , thou com●st to do nothing but mischief , to make men waste and 〈◊〉 so much to entertain thee in twelve or thirteen days 〈◊〉 of riotous Gluttony and Gurmondizing , that for 〈…〉 after they can hardly purchase a good meals meat ; besides thou art attended and waited on by a cursed crew of Gamesters , Cheaters , Swearers , Roarers , and whimwham Gambolls ; me thinkes one of thy age should have left off thy Coltish tricks , and prodigall expences : Dost thou see any one that hath a care to live and thrive in the world , to be so mad as to minde thee and thy Bables , we are grown somewhat wiser in twelve yeares , than our Fathers were in twice eight hundred : There dwells my worshipfull good neighbour ( Sir Achitophel Pinchgut , and M. Nabal ( an ancient Justice of the Quorum ) it is neither they or my selfe that had ever come to have any estates , if we had entertained thee , or relieved Beggers : I tell thee if we and a great many more had been as lavishly minded as thou wouldst have us to be , we had then been as poore as thou , or any of the rest of the vaggabond beggerly Varlets that are thy hangers on , and so let them hang still , or starve , all 's one to me ; therefore without any more adoe , avoid my house , I have nothing for thee , neither am I in the giving humour at this time . I could have answered him with divine Commandments and Precepts , with many humane Histories and Examples concerning good house-keeping , and charitable Hospitality ; but every vertue ( in this Age of Vice ) is between two extremes , ( as my Master was betwixt two Thieves ) as liberallity is in the middle , but prodigality and covetousnesse are on each side of her , alwayes ready to spoil and devour her . All true Christians do know , that what reliefe soever is given to the poore , is lent unto my Lord and Master Christ , and he hath , is , and will be bound to see it paid with Heavenly interest ; but he is a surety that few Usurers will accept of . At my departure from this old Father Penny-wise , his Sonne , ( M. Pound foolish ) desired his crabbed Sire to bid me stay and dine with him , at which the miserable Curmudgeon was even half mad with anger , calling his Son spend-thrift , and prodigall Jack-an-Apes , saying , that if he bad me to dinner , that I with my followers , would take the boldnesse to sup with him , and lodge in his house till Twelftide was past , and that I would draw more Guests to his house then he had a mind to bid welcome , & more Beggers to his gate then he had a mind to relieve . Thus was poor Christmas used , which made me and my men look blank upon the matter , and without bidding him farewell , I took a going welcome from him , and wandring into the Countrey up and downe from house to house , I found little or small comfort in any ; some would only smile upon me , and ( because I should not pisse at their doors ) they would give me a cup of single , slender , lean , small Beer , or Ale , which had the vertue to cause a man to make an Alphabet of faces , for it would have warmed a mans heart like pangs of death in a frosty morning . And as thinking or remembring former prosperities , doe make adversities seem the more heavy : So I call to minde the vigorous spirit of the Buttry , Nappy . Nut-browne , Berry-browne , Ale Abelendo , whose infusion and inspiration was wont to have such Aleaborate operation to elevate & exhillerate the vitals , to put alementall Raptures and Enthusiasms in the most capitall Perricranion , in such plenitude that the meanest and most illiterate Plow jogger could speedily play the Rhetorician , and speak alequently , as if he were mounted up into the Aletitude . This merry memory ( or sad remembrance ) of Ale , caused me to ask the reason of this alteration , to which question an honest Smith made this answer . Alas Father Christmas ( quoth he ) our high and mighty Ale , that would formerly knock down Hercules , and trip up the heels of a Gyant , is lately st●ook into a deep Consumption , the strength of it being quite gone with a blow which it received from Westminster , and there is a Tetter and Ringworme called Excise , doth make it look thinner then it would otherwise do ; before these times every Brewer did keep two strong fellows to carry the Mault , and one weake boy to pump the Water ; but now they have shifted or changed hands unluckily , for the poore boy carries the Mault , and the two strong knaves carry the Water . Indeed ( to speake truth ) my best and freest welcome with some kind of Countrey Farmers , I will describe one for all the rest in Devonshire and Cornwall , where though both the Armies had been with them , and given them severall visits , insomuch that if the Cavaliers had taken their Horses , thee other Party made bold with their Oxen ; if the one had their Sheep , the other plaid sweep-stake ; so that ( according to the Countrey phrase ) great Crock , and little Chock , all was I go ; yet as soon as they spied me , they saluted me with much love and reverend curtesie . The Good-man , with the Dame of the house , and all the rest of the men were exceeding glad to see me , and with all Countrey curtesie and solemnity , I was had into the Parlour , there I was placed at the upper end of the Table and my company about me , we had good chear and free welcome , and we were merry without Musick . A , ha , quoth I , this piece of the world is well mended , our Dinner is better then our Breakfast , this was as Christmas would have it , here is neither too much cost , nor too little meat ; here is no surfeit on the one side , or hunger on the other ; they are alwaies the best Feasts where the poor are reliev'd , for the rich can help themselves . After Dinner we arose from the Boord , and sate by the fire , where the Harth was imbrodered all over with roasted Apples , piping hot , expecting a bole of Ale for a cooler ( which presently was transformed into warm Lambs-wooll : ) within an houre after we went to Church , where a good old Minister spoke very Reverendly of my Master Christ , and also he uttered many good speeches concerning Me , exciting and exhorting the people to love and unity one with another , and to extend their charities to the needy and distressed . After Prayers we returned home , where we discoursed merrily , wi●hout either prophaneness or obscenity ; supper being ended , we went to Cards , some sung Carrols , and merry Songs ( suitable to the times ; ) then the poor la●ouring Hinds , and the maid servants , with the Plow●oyes , went nimbly to dancing , the poore toyling wretches being all glad of my company , because they had little or no sport at all till I came amongst them ; and therefore 〈◊〉 leaped and skipped for joy , singing a catch to the Tune of hey , Let 's dance and sing and make good Cheare , For Christmas comes but once a yeare . Thus at active Games and Gambols of Hotcockles , 〈◊〉 the Wild Mare , and the like harmless sports , some 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the tedious night was spent ; and early in the morning we took our leaves of them thankfully , and though we had been thirteen dayes well entertained , yet the poor people were very unwilling to let me goe ; so I left them 〈◊〉 out of hope to have my company againe for a Twelve-months space , that if I were not banished in my absence they should have my presence again the next 25. of December 1653. Glory be to God in the Highest , Peace on Earth , and to Men Good-will . FINIS . 
A64161	----	A cluster of coxcombes, or, Cinquepace of five sorts of knaves and fooles namely, the domatists, publicans, disciplinarians, anabaptists, and brownists, their originals, opinions, confutations, and, in a word, their heads roundly jolted together : also shewing how in the raignes of sundry kings, and in the late Q. Elizabeths raign the Anabaptists have bin burnt as hereticks, and otherwayes punished : and that the sect of the brownists is so new, that many are alive who knew the beginning of it : with other sects displayed / by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64161 of text R2080 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T441). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 14 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64161 Wing T441 ESTC R2080 12689105 ocm 12689105 65818 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64161) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 65818) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 252:E154, no 49) A cluster of coxcombes, or, Cinquepace of five sorts of knaves and fooles namely, the domatists, publicans, disciplinarians, anabaptists, and brownists, their originals, opinions, confutations, and, in a word, their heads roundly jolted together : also shewing how in the raignes of sundry kings, and in the late Q. Elizabeths raign the Anabaptists have bin burnt as hereticks, and otherwayes punished : and that the sect of the brownists is so new, that many are alive who knew the beginning of it : with other sects displayed / by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [8] p. ... Printed for Richard Webb, [London] : Iuly 23, 1642. Illustrated t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Dissenters, Religious -- England. A64161 R2080 (Wing T441). civilwar no A cluster of coxcombes, or, A cinquepace of five sorts of knaves and fooles: namely, the domatists, publicans, disciplinarians, anabaptists, Taylor, John 1642 2602 8 0 0 0 0 0 31 C The rate of 31 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-06 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-08 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A Cluster of COXCOMBES ; OR , A Cinquepace of five sorts of Knaves and Fooles : Namely , The Donatists , Publicans , Disciplinarians , Anabaptists , and Brownists ; Their Originals , Opinions , Confutations , and ( in a word ) their Heads Roundly jolted together . Also shewing how in the Raignes of sundry Kings , and in the late Q. Elizabeths Raign the Anabaptists have bin burnt as Hereticks , and otherwayes punished . And that the Sect of the Brownists is so new , that many are alive who knew the beginning of it . With other Sects displayed . By John Taylor . Iuly 13. Printed for Richard Webb , 1642. Donatists . THe Author of this Heresie was one Donatus born in Numidia a Province of Affrica , their opinion was that they and none but they were the only pure Christian Congregation and that they ( especially ) were the true Church , such as embraced their Discipline and come to them , they baptized again of what age or sect soever , they affirmed that the Church consisted all of good people , and that no bad Christian was a member of it , this Heresie was in An. 353. look Bishop Coopers Dictionarie . Publican . In the 9. year of the Reign of K. H. 2. Anno 1163 , there came into this Kingdom one Gerrard , a German , with 30 more with him , and they called themselvs Publicans , they denyed Matrimony and both the Sacraments . Gerrard himself had some Learning , the rest were ignorant persons whom he missed ; they were examined and found guilty , and obstinate Heretiques , for which they were marked in the fore-heads with a hot Iron , their leader was marked in the chin and fore-head ; after that they were all sharply whip'd , which punishments they seemed to receive joyfully . Lastly , by command of the King and State , they were turned out of prison , and all people were forbidden either to harbour or relieve them , so that with the extremity of the cold winter , and want of food and harbour they all dyed , miserably starved with cold , and famished with hunger , Stow page 151. Disciplinarians . There came 100 and 20 persons from Holland , Zealand , and those parts , through Flanders to London , where it was their daily exercise to pray and whip themselves twice a day in Pauls , and ●n the streets , their body being naked from the waste upwards , the whip being 3 whipcords with knots , so that the blood ran down their shoulders , arms and sides , and as they marched in this bloody procession , every one of them had a red crosse in his hat and 4 of their companions went singing before them , this sect was in the Reign of King E. 3. Anno 1349. Stow Chronicle . Anabaptists of these latter times . On the 29. of April , in the 32. yeare of the Raigne of Henry the 8. Anno 1541. one Mandevill and one Collins ( both Anabaptists ) were examined at Saint Margaret , Church at the Hill in Southwarke , and there they were condemned and judged to be burned as Hereticks ; which was executed on them accordingly , in the High way betwixt Southwarke and Newington . In the 17. yeare of Queene Elizabeths raigne , Anno 1574. there was one man and 10. women judged to be burned for being Anabaptists , but after much suit made one woman recanted and all the rest were banished . And in the same yeare , the 12. of Iune 5. Englishmen of the sweet Sect called , The Family of Love , did pennance at Pauls-Crosse , and there confessed and detested their wicked and damnable Heresies . And on the 22 of Iuly following two , Dutchmen Anabaptists were burnt in Smithfield . Also the same yeare ( in May●5 . ) 27. Anabaptists were taken and imprisoned , and 4. of them bare faggots for penance at Pauls-Crosse , and recanted . Stow , pag. 679 , 680. And in these our dayes the said Anabaptisticall sect is exceeding rise , for they doe swarme here and there without feare of either God or man , Law or Order . In the 33. yeare of Queen Elizabeths raigne , Anno 1591. one Edmund Copinger Gent. and Henry Arthington Gent. these two on the 16. of Iuly in the morning in the yeare aforesaid went to one Iohn Walkers house at Broken-wharfe , London , where they found a Yeoman of Northamptonshire in the parish of Oundle , named William Hacket , to whom the said Copinger and Arthington said , that they were come to anoint him King , but Hacket replyed againe that they needed not so to doe , for he was already anointed in Heaven by the Holy Ghost ; the said Hacket caused Copinger and Arthington to beleeve that he was Iesus Christ , and to proclaime him so in London , and at last for these horrible blasphemies and some wicked Treasons against the Queene , Hacket was hangd and quartered in Cheap-side , 1595. his two prophets , one of them starvd himself to death wilfully , in Bridewell , the other lay a long time languishing and repenting in the Counter in Woodstreet : he that list to reade more of this at large , shall find it truly related in Mr. Stowes Chronicle , page 761 , 762. Also one Francis Ket was burnt at Norwich , in the 31. yeare of Queene Elizabeth , 1589. he was a Master of Art , and justly dyed for holding most wicked opinions of our Saviour Iesus Christ . In the 16. yeare of the rsigne of King Iames , Anno 1618. one Iohn Traske denyed and despised our Church Government , refused our Christian Sabbath , and affirmed that Brawne , Porke , Bacon Pigge , and all swines flesh was abhominable , for which Errours the said Traske was on the 19 of June in the yeare aforesaid , mounted to the pillory at Westminster , and from thence whipt to the Pleet , where ( repenting and recanting ) hee was beneficed , and became an honest , diligent , and painefull Preacher , Stow 1029. pag. Brownists . This Sect sprung from one named Brown , who is of that Antiquity , that many ( yet alive ) did know him when hee was a Schoole-master to the Free Schoole in Saint Olaves in Southwarke : This man ( Browne ) in his browne study , did plod to preach , and did practise and exercise in Woods , thickets , fields and under hedges , to a great many of poore people , whom hee seduced to be as wise as himselfe : hee said that the Church of England was not a Church ( perhaps his meaning was it was not a true Church ) but when he was preferred to the Benefice of a parsonage in Northamptonshire , the parish being called A Church , then the Church of England was a Church with him , and his parish Church of A Church , was a conformable and a true Canonicell Church , and he lived till within these 7 yeares there , and dyed a conformable church man , but he hath left a most pernitious and seditious traine of his sect behind him , of all trades , ages , sexes , and conditions , and when all trades faile they can make a shift to be all preachers Amongst all these hereticks and heresies , sects and sectaries , and schismatickes , I have not medled or mentioned the Puritan . the reason is , that I doe not know any that either deserves or dares to take the name or title of Puritan upon them . It is an Epithite of reproach , which rash or malitious men do cast upon many persons who do strive to live in Gods fear , & desire to dye in his favour , and it is likewise a name which covers a great deal of craft and villany under the veil and vizard of Hypocriticall sincerity , and my opniion is , that if there be any that are to be so called , they must be such Romane Catholicks that doe presume to be saved by their own good works , which pure , most impure , Doctrine is one of the grounds and Tenent of the popish Religion , and of no Church else in the world , so that my conclusion is that none deserves the name of a Puritan , but such as dare presume by their purity to save themselves and others : Thus have I briefly shewed that the Church of Christ hath in all ages been opposed and oppressed by Heretiques and Schismaticks , I could name many more opinions of men , who were all great and glorious lights in the Church , and most illustrious instruments for the advancement of Christian Relig●on ; and yet they have in some points differed one from the other , as Wickliffe , Luther , Beza , Calvin , Bucer , Melancton , Oeclampadius ; yet for all other great diversities , they have alwayes agreed in the main Fundamentall points of Christian Doctrine , so that the outsides of Ceremonies of Religion did not shake the peace of the Church . But in these times the Church and Church-Government is not only shaken , but shattered in pieces , almost for nothing else but outward indifferent Ceremonies , such as in themselves seemed offencelesse Hand-maids for their order and decency , to wait and attend the Church as Ornaments , and not for superstious Adoration These shaddows have not only bin with violence pu●'d down , but the substance which is Gods Ordinance hath bin sacrilegiously intruded and usurped upon by an imdudent rabble of ignorant Mechanicks , who have dared to prefume to preach , not being cal'd or sent , nor knowing how , or when , eyther to speak or hold their peace . I have read that the Grand Senior , or great Turk at Constantinople , did demand due of an English Ambassadour , this question , Quoth he , if I would be a Christian , there are so many sorts and sects of them , which Christian should I be , to whom the Ambass●dour replyed , that it was the only safe way to be a Protestant ; but a French Nobleman standing by , being a Roman Catholicke , and he demanded of the Englishman that if he would be a Protestant , that hee would tell him which Protestant he should be , by this may be perceived , that the Turke takes notice of the divisions of Christian Religion , and the Papists do take advantages at our d●sunion and contentions ; yet the Protestant Religion in it selfe is in a most sweet harmonious Uniformity , but the crew of Corah , Dathan , and Abiram , have done , daily do , and will do , their uttermost malice and mischiefe to rend all in pieces , whilst he is accounted the best member in a Common-wealth , that can either Libell most scandalously , revile most despightfully , or teare and spoile most couragiously , and villanously . And it is to be wondered at the many unlicenced licentious Pamphlets that have been scattered about the Kingdome within these 23. months , wherein neither Religion , Church , King , Peeres , Priest , or people have escaped Railing , Libelling , and transcendent traducing , so that it may be supposed , that the paper that hath beene wasted by those pestiferous pamphleteeres , would goe neere ( if it were laid sheet by sheet ) to cover the whole Kingdome ; and this is certaine , that they have drawne many thousands of poore idle people from all parts of England to London , where without serving any Apprentiship , they take a freedom to sell Bookes , so that the Book-sellers are encreased ten fold in number within these two yeares : And what stuffe doe they sell ( for sooth ) things New Lye come forth and things either of no worth , or else Speeches fathered upon men that never knew of them , or Newes out of Scotland or Ireland , made over night in an Ale-house , and printed in the morning Cum privilegio , 1642. then are the streetes embroidered with lyes , lice , and Beggers , to the great abuse of true Writers , the scandall of this Honourable Citie of London , and the universall injury to the whole Kingdome , for that such numberlesse numbers of lyes and Fables are scattered and disperst ( not onely here in our owu Couutrey , but in all parts else they are transported over the Christian World . To conclude this Booke of Errours and Heresies , seeing there have beene , are , and will be such to the end of the world , and that amongst all these wayes there is but one Right way . It is a griefe to any Christian heart to consider how many thousands are out of the way , that doe dare to presume to call themselves Christians ; some are so farre blinded , that they hold all manners , Decencie , Order , comely Gesture , or Ceremony , as standing at the Bel●efe , kneeling at the Lords Prayer , or at the receiving of the Sacrament , Bowing at the Name of Iesus , or Reverence in be●ng uncovered at the entring into the house of God , all these are accounted Superstition , Idolatry , and Popery : but to come to the Church boldly or rudely as into a Taverne , an Ale-house or stable ; I am sure there is no Popery in that , and for Christianity a man may finde as much amongst the barbarous Canniballs . So that some men are jeered out of true and sincere Religion , for feare of being called Puritans , and too many have laid by all Order , Manners , and Decencie in the Church , because they will not be accounted Papists . Besides all these wayes of Heresie ( which are all out of Gods way ) let us consider the infinite numbers of Atheists , Heathens , Pagans , Jewes , Turkes , Infidels , and divellish Idolators , that are upon the Face of the Earth ; If these things be but ponders in a mans heart that feares God , it will strike terrour and amazement into him , to consider how little service the Almighty hath from Ingratefull mankinde , for that he by his power , Providence and Mercie , made all , conserves all , and Redeemed all true Beleevers , yet for all these All 's , that good God hath not the tithe of halfe , either in meere thankfulnesse or acknowledgement . FINIS . 
A64162	----	The conversion, confession, contrition, comming to himselfe, & advice, of a mis-led, ill-bred, rebellious round-head which is very fitting to be read to such as weare short haire, and long eares, or desire eares long / written by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64162 of text R1357 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T444). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 34 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 9 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64162 Wing T444 ESTC R1357 11950150 ocm 11950150 51367 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64162) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 51367) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 516:31) The conversion, confession, contrition, comming to himselfe, & advice, of a mis-led, ill-bred, rebellious round-head which is very fitting to be read to such as weare short haire, and long eares, or desire eares long / written by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 14 p. s.n.], [Oxford? : 1643. A pretend biography of a perverted weaver. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. eng Roundheads. A64162 R1357 (Wing T444). civilwar no The conversion, confession, contrition, comming to himselfe, & advice, of a mis-led, ill-bred, rebellious round-head. Which is very fitting Taylor, John 1643 6600 11 0 0 0 0 0 17 C The rate of 17 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE CONVERSION , CONFESSION , CONTRITION , Comming to himselfe , & Advice , of a Mis-led , Ill-bred , REBELLIOUS ROUND-HEAD . WHICH Is very fitting to be Read to such as weare short Haire , and long Eares , or desire Eares Long . Written by JOHN TAYLOR . Printed , 1643. The Conversion , Confession , Contrition , comming to himselfe , and advice of a Misled , ill-bred , Rebellious ROUND-HEAD . HE goes farre that never turn's , but if I had not turn'd squarely and quickly from my Orbicular Singularity , or Circular Rotundity , I might corporally have turn'd Round under the Gallowes , and spiritually gone Roundly to the Devill . Therefore know all you ( my seduced , abused , misled and bewitched Brethren ) that though in this following discourse , I doe treat particularly or single of my selfe , yet I would have you understand , that my intention is generall too , and of as many as have been wickedly Cheated by the Devill or his Agents , Factors , and Broakers , of their Soules , their Consciences , their Loyalties , their Lives , their Goods , their Wits , their Monies , and what not ? Be it knowne unto all men ( I could have said Neverint Vniversi , but that I loved neither Latine nor Vniversity ) that I was an honest Weaver , and in my quondam time , or dayes of yore , I Whileom dwelt in White-Chappell neare , that great Magazine of mischiefe , London , where I liv'd poorly , painfully , patiently , and contentedly ; neither wanting or abounding , not greedy or needy , having neither debters to pay me , or my selfe any debts to pay . Thus did I spend my diebis illis in a Mellifluous , dulcet , Candid Halcion of Harmony , which continued to the expiration of a Iury of Almanacks , ( for so long I liv'd single , & wore Batchelers buttons , till I was at the yeares or age of Whipper-ginnie ) and then I was unluckily Ingeminated to a Reverend Corpulent Mid-wife ( or mad-wife ) one whose experienc'd Gravity , and Grave experience , did quickly asswage the fervor of my concupiscentiall cupidity , that before the Consumption of one Moones various Perambulation , my old new Bride , had so Metamorphis'd my flexible Pericranian , that I Resolv'd to waver from a Weaver , intending to cast the Beame out of mine eye , which was no sooner in , but the Shuttle entred into my Braine , so that ( before I was aware ) my head was turn'd with a trice , as Round as a Top or Whirligigge . For my Motherly wife had at the least 500 daughters , maydes , wives , widdowes , married , and unmarried , all Breeders ( or Teeming women ) the most , or greatest number of which , were exceeding zealous in sundry Religions ( scarce three of them in threescore in one opinion ) all devout in diversities , and all differing in their devotions ; and from all these ( my sincere wife Saphira ) had sucked so many documents and doctrines , that she could discourse and dispute of all points of Religion , beyond her understanding ; all which she made me so perfect in , that I was quickly perfectly mad , and imperfectly out of my wits ; for I had as many new diseases in my mind , as a horse could have in his body ; first the Wind Chollick of selfe love , and Ambition made me presume to seeme to know more , and interpret the Scriptures more neare the originall , then all the learned and Reverend Bishops and Doctors could doe . Secondly , I was Broke-winded with a Round whirlewind of Tautology , that I held him the Rarest man that could talke longest , and beleeved the greatest lyes to be certaine truths . Thirdly , I was troubled with the Staggers , that betwixt the Dura Mater of schismaticall opinions , & the Pia mater of the true Protestant doctrine , there were some whimsies infus'd , which made my Braines constantly inconstant , tost to and fro ( like a dogge in a Blanket ) giddily from one new purified Conventicle to another , and ( like a Iade ) I had all paces within the Circumclusion of my supernodicall Noddle , I could Pace , Amble , Trot , Hand-gallop , Wild-gallop , Fals-gallop , Tongu-gallop , to all the private meetings , holy Assemblies , seditious Consultations , Brownisticall Rebellions , Anabaptisticall , fustian fopperies , zealous Treasons , and most devout disobedience ; I travell'd to every Contentious Congregation , and Edified most wickedly wheresoever I came , I was at Boston , in Lincolnshire , where I heard Mr Anderson the diligent Preacher say , that the Earle of Essex was Michaell the Archangell , and that the King was the Dragon , which he must Tread under his feet . verily it was strange doctrine to me , and I ( like an asse ) beleeved him , for I thought that Preachers should not lye , or speake blasphemy and Treason in the Pulpits . But since my Conversion I find , that the Archangell Michaell and the Dragon are Typicall , figurative or Allegoricall allusions , of Christs Treading downe of Satan , and his Triumphant victory over death and hell . It were too much for me to write , or any Reader to read the numberlesse instructions that those Topheticall Lecturers did in too many places belch and bluster out , and all to no other end but ( their owne ends ) to draw , inforce , entice , perswade , admonish and compell by all meanes to be Rebells against God and the King , to despise the Church-Governours government , to trample downe all Law , and order , to scorne obedience , to hate Loyalty , to contemne faith , truth , and honesty , to steale , robbe , plunder , wound , deflowre , ravish , imprison , fine , begger , and murther all , that durst obey God in the observing of the Protestant Religion , or be Loyall to the King in the obedience to him , and observation of the Lawes established . In a word , I quickly learn'd the Art of ignorance , the Mystery of iniquity , the Science of villany , the Society of Rebellion , the Vocation of Treason , the function of hypocrisy , and the knavery of all Trades . I had an excellent memory to forget , to forgive any injury , and I was infus'd with an admirable forgetfulnes , not to remember benefits received . Me thought he was but a Barren stirrell-Brain'd Preacher , that could not rayl at the King , abuse my suffering Lord , revile the State , and call the right Honourable Lords , wicked Councellors ; I heard one at Roderhich ( or Rederiffe neare London ) exhort the People on a Sunday , to be valiant and couragious in the Cause , that they ought not to stand in feare , or to be awed , cowed , or commanded , by the power or authority of any one man , nor should they be afraid to sheath their swords in the bowells of him and his Posterity , ( whosoever he was ) without respect of Persons ; and verily the man talk'd exceedingly edifying , I was taken mightily with his doctrine , and so were many more of the Brethren and Sisters at that time , in that sanctimonious Congregation . There was at the hearing of him one Taylor ( whom some doe style , intitle , nominate , and cognominate , the aquaticall , or Water-Poet ) he ( I say ) was so bold to say then and there , on the day aforesaid , in the place aforesaid , that the Preacher aforesaid , that prated the Lecture aforesaid , was worthy to be hang'd , as aforesaid , as many Traitors had been aforesaid , in other Princes Raignes aforesaid , for lesse fault then aforesaid , for the which Taylor aforesaid , for saying as aforesaid , was like to be knock'd aforeside and backside , but that he made use of his heeles , got into a Boat and away , as aforesaid . Thus these provoking , moving , unbenefic'd Lecturers did fill me and the rest with such forcible undoing documents , that we were all mad till we were undone and begger'd ; I ran with all speed and carried that plate and mony I had to the Guile-Hall , where some crafty merchants , like decoy ducks , had brought in their plate first , which was heaped and piled up to make a glistering show , to draw and toll in such poor Widgeons and Woodcocks as my selfe , to bring our goods and mony in . And afterwards the Rich decoyes did take theirs away againe , whilst we left our estates there , having no other security but the most immense , unlimitable , inimitable , universall , inexhaustible , and unvaluable Publique Faith . Which Faith I have found ( by singular deplorable experience ) to be nothing kin to the symboll of the faithful 12 good men and true , for their faith was , and is a saving faith , but I have lost all the goods and goodnes that I had by fixing my hopes upon the Rotten foundation of the Faith politick and publick . Besides every good Faith ( or Creed ) hath 12 good Articles ; but this new Faith hath but two , ( which two are true both , without Contradiction ) which are , give or lend with a good or an ill will , and be cheated , or begger'd like a foole ; or deny to give or lend , and be imprisoned , rifled , and undone ; upon these two Maxims is this Faith grounded , and will be proved Authenticall by 10000 witnesses , and some of them have seald it with their bloods . It was in disputation what trade or Craftsmen they were that first invented this new Rare detrimentall Faith ; some said they were Taylors , that with the mysticall Sheeres of their Authority , could cut the Common-wealth ( like Broad-cloath ) into what shape or fashion they pleas'd , making such large shreds as may keep them and their Childrens Children warme till doomes day . Some said they were the only skilfull Fishers in the world , and that they went beyond Ovid in metamorphising , for they had transform'd this Kingdome into a Sea , and all the goods of the Kingdome were turn'd into Fishes , which they catch'd with the Net of their Almighty power , and dispos'd of as they pleas'd , the Mashes of the said Net being so cunningly and strongly woven , that the huge Leviathan , or the mighty Whale , the overgrowne Grampus , or mounting Pork-pice , could not breake through , nor the small Pilchard , the little Sprat , or the least Minnow could escape , ( for the Proverbe in them was verified ) All is Fish that comes to the Net . But there was a third sort that said the Publique Faith was made by a company of Dyers , that dyed nothing but false fading Colours , scarce using any wood at all but Logwood , and such sophisticated stuffe being their chief materialls , which would not hold Colour , but staine & spotted shamefully , so that the people conceiving themselves to be gulld and consend , and the Diers ( taking notice of the peoples distast ) will give over dying of false Colours any more , and doe purpose shortly to dye knaves in graine . J am almost mad , frantique , lunatique , besides my selfe , out of my wits , at my wits end , or ( call it what you will ) J am not as I might , could , would , should , or ought to be , in confiding what paines , cost , and perill J have undergone , to make my selfe a beggerly Thiefe , a Rebell , a Traitor , or any thing , but an honest man , and now too late , I find that knavery is a deare purchase , and that truth & a good Conscience may be had and maintain'd at a cheaper rate then villany . It greeves me to remember how often His Majesties Forces have taken paines to beat me and my Breathren into a little good manners ; yet I cannot chuse but rejoyce at a speech spoken by a valiant Vintner at the George at Queenhith , he being one of the Trained-Band of London , swore he would catch the King , & came purposely to Newbury Battell , on wednesday the 20 of September last , for that purpose , but being well thwackd there , and ( with the nimblenes of his feet ) got home againe , he swore that he would never ( whilst he liv'd ) go any more a King Catching . And thus , by the sway and command which mother Midnight my wife bare over me , and the false instigations of such Pulpiteers , which she ( upon the paine of her scolding sealding hot indignation ) inforc'd me to heare and beleeve , I grew to such a passe , that I held the greatest Rebells to be the most worthy of places of Eminency , and titles of Excellency , and that they ( alone ) were the best Subjects and truest Christians that did most oppose the King , the Law , the Gospell ( and the Epistles too ) without all manner & forme , as followed , for the first , it is said I should have but one God , which I find and know now to be he that brought all the Israelites out of Aegyptian Bondage under Pharaoth , and hath also delivered and redeemed all true beleevers from the Eternall thraldome of our spirituall Aegypt , from our slavery under sinne , death , and hell ; This God commands , we should have no other Gods but him , but J ( with my associates ) instead of serving him , ( the only God ) serv'd no God at all . Moreover my zeale was so hot , that because superstitious services hath above 100 yeares agoe , been used in our Churches , because Romish Masses , and too many idolatrous Rites have been said , sung , and frequently exercised long since in our Cathedralls and other Churches and Chappells ; therefore , because they have been abused formerly , I thought it convenient , to disgrace , deface , demolish , cast downe and ruinate all those famous Fabricks , and magnificent Structures , never remembring ( like a Rogue as I was ) that the Churches were not to blame , for the abuses committed in them , and that the holy Ghost did gratiously enter and dwell in a woman , whom seven Devills had formerly possest . Secondly , whereas he commands no graven Image , or any figure or likenes to be made and worshipped , I ( like an ignorant asse ) presently beganne to teare , spoyle , and pull downe , all Ornaments , Ceremonies , decent gestures , and all things whatsoever was any way laudable , or any memory either of Patriarke , Prophet , Christ , Apostle , Saint , Martyr , or Confessor , all which we knew to be neither Papisticall or superstitious , neither would any one that hath wit or grace , either pray , adore , or confide in , to , or before , any thing , but to the Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth , and his blessed Sonne our gracious Redeemer . We knew the Crosse in Cheap-side , was a stately and sumptuous ornament to the City , and it signified to all Nations of Christendome , besides Turkes , Iewes , Pagans , Heathens , Infidells , and Atheists , might take notice by that , and all other Crosses , that we were not asham'd to be Christians , or to maintaine the signe or memory of our Saviour Crucified . Thirdly , there hath no perfidious perjur'd people , that have more prophaned or taken the name of the Lord in vaine , then we have done . I ( for my part ) did sweare and take the oath of Allegiance , and after that I took the oath of Supremacy , which oathes and vowes any reasonable man may beleeve had been sufficient , and fit to be held and kept inviolable , but ( as if those were of no validity , and that we might Equivocate , Juggle , and play at fast and loose with the searcher of all hearts ) I with thousands more of fooles and wicked wretches , some voluntary , and malitiously , and some upon constraint , fearfully & foolishly , took and bound our selves by oaths , vows , protestations , of combinations , associations , and contracts , quite contrary to all that we had formerly sworne , for our last swearing , were to continue Rebells all the dayes of our lives . Fourthly , we have in generall , or for the most of us , remembred to unsanctifie the Sabboth day , that whereas the Lord commanded it strictly to be observed for a day of rest , we have frequently prayed , preached and practised on that day chiefly , nothing but disturbant Rebellions , Treasons , commotions , seditions , and most horrible blasphemies , wherein the Lord and the Lords Anointed , were either ridiculously , or treacherously abused , and neither the peace of God or the Kingdome so much as mentioned . Fiftly , whereas we are commanded to give honour to Parents , or our Fathers and Mothers , whether they be Kings , Queenes , or any other spirituall or temporall Fathers and Magistrates , or our naturall Fathers and Mothers , or Maisters , who should rule and governe us ; In stead of honouring them , we have trod all honour , obedience , allegiance , loyalty , respect , and duty under foot ; The Subjects have fought against the Soveraigne , the people have despised the Magistrate , the servants have resisted against their Maisters , and the sonnes have drawn their swords , and sheath'd them in the bowells of their Fathers . The sixth Commandement forbids doing any Murther , and we have observ'd it so well , that we have , by committing most barbarous and inhumane Murthers and slaughters , made this sometimes Kingdome of Peace , an Aceldema , or field of Bloud , a very Golgotha of dead mens sculls , as if it were the slaughter house of the world , and shambles of Butcher'd mans flesh for all the Anthropophagie of man-eating Canniballs . Seaventhly , Adultery is forbidden , and for the defence and maintenance of Adultery , we have providently forbidden all power and authority that should punish it , so that we having freedome , as Beasts have , have done worse then beasts would do , for some Sons have made so bold with their owne Mothers , that they have proved with Child by them so that with Incests , Adulteries , Rapes , deflowrings , Fornications , and other veneriall postures & actions which daily passe and escape uncontrolled & unpunish'd , and as it may be conjectur'd tolerated , England is almost chang'd in that point to the Isle of Paphos , and if this world hold Venus is like to be mother of the Maydes . Eightly , Thou shalt not steale ; Alas the breach of this Commandement hath been the only prop , & supportation in maintaining this unmatchable Rebellion , and all the Rebells that are in it , were it not for stealing , theft , robbery , plundering , and forcible extorting , we might all go hang our selves , for if once we give over theeving , then comes Peace , to which we are mortall Enemies . Ninthly , we should not bear false witnesse against our Neighbours , and we hold none to be our Neighbours that love or obey either God or the King ; therefore we hold it no sinne to traduce , slander , scandalize , belye , and falsely to testifie , accuse , and beare false wicked witnes against any honest man whosoever , and in our testimony we have been beleeved and rewarded , countenanced and defended . Concerning the tenth and last Commandement , which saith , Thou shalt not covet any thing that is thy Neighbours , be it either , house , wife , Servant , Cattle , r Goods ; It is written that Covetousnesse is the root of all evill , and had we not coveted things that were none of our owne , and with an avaritious greedy desire , raked and ransack'd that which belong'd not unto us ; then had the King still had our bounden obedience & tributary duty , then had all true Subjects quietly enjoyed their owne , then had his Majesty not been depriv'd of his Townes , His Ships , his Castles , his Magazines , his Houses , his Lands , his Customes , his Children , his Revenue , his Ammunition , his Subjects , and as neare as we could , of all that was neare or deare unto Him , then had these mischiefs never have been begun , this Kingdom had not lain weltring in her own bloud , we had not then been involved in unspeakable misery , nor kept in this perpetuall slavery , under the Abortive and usurping power of a pretended Parliament-Everlasting . Thus have I ( with the rest of my wicked Brethren ) broken all the ten Commandements , but we should have broak the 11th too , if we had heard of it , and infringed all the Lawes of God , of man , of nature , of Nations , of Arts and Armes , and in brief of all goodnes both divine and morall ; so that to make a particular confession of all the abhorred crimes we have committed , I am perswaded that auricular confession would be wearied , and all the race of mankind would be return'd to the first matter , or nothing , of which it was made ; but I humbly and heartily desire that this my acknowledgement & contrition , may not only have remission , but also admission againe into my most wronged Soveraignes grace and favour , of which happines I am in certain hope , though I doe almost despaire that too many of my malitious and stiffe Brethren , though they know they have been accursed Rebells , yet they will rather go on desperately with Iudas ( be hang'd ) or hang themselves , then with Peter , Repent and weep bitterly for their Apostacie . As naughty Boyes , when they first practise pilfering , begin to steale Pins , and proceed to poynts , and passing unreproved , fall at last to be perfitly Grammard in the Art of filching , theeving , and robbery , and make no scruple to commit any felony or villany , so I at first , was but drawne in like an ignorant Sot , and shortly came to the degree of a malitious Knave , and in a little time ( with the help of the Devill ) I grew to the high Calling of a Rebell , and shortly after ( me thought ) Treason was the only way to be secure , and the impregnable Bulwark to defend me from the stroke and battry of Law and Iustice , for all my former notorious crimes committed , any manner of Roguery , whereby the King might be injurd , was as good as Cake and Custard to me , and every scurvy song , Rime , Lecture or Libell against the office and persons of Bishops , Courtiers , and Cavaliers , was as sweet Musique to me , as the fat end of a Pudding , I was at a Market Towne , called Mansfield , in the Forrest of Sherwood in Nottinghamshire , where my Brethren bravely threw , pull'd and haled downe the Market Crosse , and after that they spied a Carved round piece of wood in the forme of a Crowne , which was fairly wrought , painted and guilded , and stood for the Signe of the Crowne , which we ( like most violent valiant villaines ) did pluck from the Signe post , and in reverence to the Crowne , & duty to the King , we drag'd it through the dirt , and kick'd it about the streets ( O brave Rogues ) so that the Widdow Hall , who was owneresse of the house , was faine to have a new Signe made at her owne charge , and verily this was then , me thought , very pretty , foolish , witty , Roguish pastime . Indeed we were all so infused or enthusiasmed with the Babilonian Confusion of Amsterdamnable Religions and opinions , that we could never be quiet , till we had brought our selves unto the slavery of the Rotter-dam'd excise ; for we had wisely considered that Forraigne Nations , with all their strength and policies , could never invade or overcome us , & therefore we thought it honourable to imitate Aiax , for as none but Aiax had the glory to kill Aiax , so none but Englishmen shall be famous for ruinating England , much like the pretty Bird called a Viper , who , as it is related by Gesur , doth murther his Mother by gnawing a passage out of her womb into the world . Besides we were infected with the heresie of the Counsellors of Benadad King of Syria . 1. King. 20 23. That God was the God of the Hills , and therefore we alwayes ranne to the Hills , and skulk'd in woods and hedges , ( like Theeves and Bandittes ) for we never durst to shew our selves against the Kings Forces in the Plaines , nor once abide the hazzard of a faire pitchd field ; and yet for all these poor shifts and tricks , it hath alwayes been our good fortune to be beaten , and to runne away to London , and there we patchd up our Rebellious Cowardly disasters , with victorious Lies , in Pamphlets and Lectures , not worth pence a piece . As concerning the four Cardinall Vertues ( Iustice being one ) one truly said there was more Iustice in Hell then in the Close Committee , for ( said he ) in Hell there are none punishd but bad men , such as are prophane Atheists , Schismatiques , Rebells , Traitors , Thieves , Cheators ; but these learned Thebans do afflict , imprison , murder , and torment , none but good men , such as are true Protestants , Loyall Subjects , and such as have a care and conscience to live in Gods feare , that by so living they may most happily dye in his favour . And another , of our owne Tribe , being demanded more mony to spin out the Cause , he was so bold to tell the Publican tax and toll gatherers , that they who set them on worke were more uncharitable then the Devill , for which words he was brought before the Tribunall of the Magnificent , Almighty Committee , and being examined , he confest he spake the words , and would prove that the Devill had more Charity then they ; for the Devill did first bereave or take away Iobs Children , before he took away his goods , but they did pill poll and take from him all his goods and livelyhood , and left him his Children to be starv'd , for they had squeezd and draind him to the last drop , and left him nothing to buy bread to put in his Childrens heads , and just so much is their universall Charity . And whereas at the first they Rebelled most Gloriously , with Gold and Silver cursed contributions ; now they are descended to that humble degree of Treason , that they make shift to Botch and Peece out their wicked designes , with Goods and Chattells , and with the sale of all manner of Houshold-stuffes , from the Altitude of the most stately Arras or Tapistery hangings , to the low descent and profundity of the Cole-house , or House of office , and ( in Imitation of the Emperour Vespatian ) who made mony by the sale or Custome of Vrine , so they have , out of the profit of plundered Pispots and Close-stooles , made a stinking stirre , all over this afflicted Kingdome , insomuch that he is worthy to be accounted a Witch or a cunning Man , that can tell us before hand , what will be their next shift , Milo the Crotinian ( or Creatan ) was famous for strength and a good stomack , for it is reported that he brought up a Bull Calfe , and every day would lift and carry the say Beast , by which daily exercise and practise , he could carry him when he was grown to be a Bull , and that he killd the said Bull with a blow with his Fist , and eat him up every bit in one day . and one Nicholas Wood , a great eater in Kent , would eat up a Hogge or a Sheep of Twenty shillings price at one meale , these Monsters were , and are famous in memory , for having good stroakes in the Mouth ▪ some are remembred for Lascivious Luxury , us Heliogabalus , some for drinking , as Alexander , some for Pride as Tarquin , &c. but we shall ever stand upon Record for the most unmatchable Renowned Rebells , that ever liv'd in any Age or Nation , Iack Straw , Watt Tyler , Iack Cade , Lambert Simuel , Perkin Warbeck , and all the Rabble of such fellowes never came neer us in Impiety and Treachery , for they did never spoyle and demolish Churche and Church ornaments ▪ as we have done , and it is worthy of a most Regarding Consideration , that His Majesties forces wheresoever they have come , have not any way used any Prophanation or I●reverent demeanor towards any Church ▪ Chappell , or House that hath been consecrated or dedicated to the Service and Honour of God . So that the Turkes , Pagans , and Infidels would have shewed more Civility , and lesse Barbarous savage Brutishnesse then we have done . I tell you plainly , and most truly certify you ( my too much wicked and misconstruing Brethren ) that I was perswaded in my Conscience , ( as many Knaves and Fooles have been ) that the King was enclined towards the Romish Religion , but since the eyes of my mind are open , and that I hold it a slandering unreverend and Traiterous aspersion , to say or think that either Queen Elizabeth , or King Iames of ever blessed memories , were Papists , or did allow or tolerate any Popish doctrine , and that now finding that my most Gratious King CHARLES , hath alwaies been , is , and will be till His earthly Period , a most constant defender of the true Faith , as those two His Royall Predecessors were , and as His inviolable Oathes and Protestations doe confirme , and farther as his unparalleld life and conversation justifies : for in all the Towns , Congregations , Churches and Chappels , which have been and are under His Majesties command , there was never seen or heard any one Masse , to be said , much lesse to be allowed or connived at . Therefore I boldly doe give all those malitious , ignorant Villaines the Lye , which Lye ( without repentance ) will sink them to their Father of Lies , and therefore I pray you to examine what mischiefes have been committed , by our unmannerly , base mistakes , feares and causelesse Iealousies , & once more humbly returne from the common Road-way , that leads to inevitable destruction , let us no more believe any Capcase , Candlecase , Fiddlecase , prating Lecturer , let us no longer be gulld with false Pamphlets , and abominable Lying Diurnalls , who are all as full of Lyes , as the writers of them are of Sin , for I have seen some of those famous Devisers and Writers of Weekly newes , that are so free and guiltlesse of shifting , that they hold a clean shirt odious , and quite out of fashion , and halfe a Breech , with a Doublet one sleeve hath been their only ware , eighteen pence , being a Stationers price for a Coppy , which presently the learned Author quaffes , puffes , and pipes away in fecundious Ale , and Oderiferous Mundungoe . I have called to mind that , ever since we began to be Rebells and Schismaticks , that we never gaind any Good , or did any thing worthy the name of Well done . But as our leaders have been mischievously Malitious , and Treacherous , so we have executed their damnable Inventions , to ruine the Protestant doctrine , our King , and our selves , and this is the sweet summe of all our detestable paines and profits . Our Inventions and Actions have all been opposite to Piety and Humanity , so that if there were no other argument to prove His Majesty to be Godly , Good , Gratious , and every way a compleat unmatchable Prince for His innated virtues , our Disloyalty , our Aversenesse , our Refractory stubbornnesse , were sufficient proof of His transcendent Clemency and goodnesse ; for as lyeing Astronomers , when they Prognosticate of a fowle day , or an unseasonable Harvest , are ( or should be ) asham'd when the weather falls out faire temperate and successefull ; so we with shame , horror , and terror of consciences , may hang downe our wicked Round-heads , and blush ( if we were not past grace ) when we doe but think how ungratiously , undutifully , and perfidiously , we have dealt with so gratious a Soveraigne , upon no other grounds but malicious ignorance . If there were no other mark , signe or token to prove the Office and dignity of Bishops to be derivative from Christ and the Apostles , our opposition is Approbation sufficient , that they have been , are , and ought to be beloved , believed , Reverenced , and Honoured . By which consequence it is apparent to all the World , that those godly Members which His Majesty hath justly excluded out of his Grace and Favour , whom we adore and admire , as the Idolatrous Israelites did the Golden Calfe ; If there were no other demonstration of the foulenesse of their Guilt , our servile , our slavish , our execrable obaying them , and their unlawfull Votes , is testimony sufficient to prove the Kings exception to be Reall , themselves cauterized in their crimes , and all we that have adhered unto them to be miserable , uncivill , simple , poore , abused ▪ cheated , Rebellious Coxcombs . As the Law of God is a glasse of death , wherein men may see their Sin , so is the Gospell a glasse of Grace , where true penit●nts may see their Saviour . And as the Lawes of this Land are ( in their due execution ) Rigorous and Terrible to such whose guilty soules tells them that they are plunged in horrible Treasons , whereby they have precipitated themselves into the bot●omlesse pit of Despaire , and by no means will dare to look the Law ●r Iustice in the face , so a cleare and innocent man hath a Breast that is Law proofe , he can sleep soundly , and eat his meat in quiet , and if it chance that he be questioned , either by malice or information ▪ he cares not , and the severest censure he feares not , he bears his afflictions with magnanimous fortitude , and whether he Live or Dye , his sufferings are his Glory . And were th●se Almighty Beggermakers , those memorable Members and Commanders of our Miseries , cleare , & right , as they should be , then they would never feare to put themselves to a fai●e and Impartiall tryall of the Law , where if then they come handsomely of , their accusers will be perpetually infamous , and themselves will shine with such a Burnished splendor , that shall daz'e the eyes , and amaze the soules of their enimies , and their memories shall outlast time , and dwell in glory with Eternity . Therefore ( my Brethren ) let me advise you to hearken no more to them , they have coufened us too much already , they have made us perfect in turning Markes to eighteen pence , and Nobles to nine pence , and all to nothing ; yet there is hope , though your monies be gone , yet you may have a small proportion of Wit left , which ( guided by grace ) may make you turne a little honest , and assure your selves that those who doe dye in this most Horrid and damned Rebellion , against their Iust and Lawfull King , they doe dye in as desperate a manner , as those that murther themselves , either by Hanging , Stabbing , Poysoning , Drowning , or any other desperate Way . Returne , God is Gratious and Mercifull , despaire not , the KING is full of Piety and Clemency , FAREWELL . FINIS . 
A64163	----	The Devil turn'd Round-head, or, Plvto become a Brownist being a just comparison how the Devil is become a round-head : in what manner and how zealously, like them, he is affected with the moving of the Spirit : with the holy sisters of copulation, if he would seem holy, sincere, and pure, were it with the Devill himself : as also the Amsterdammian definition of a Familist. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64163 of text R19927 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T449). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 6 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64163 Wing T449 ESTC R19927 12607986 ocm 12607986 64292 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64163) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 64292) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 250:E136, no 29) The Devil turn'd Round-head, or, Plvto become a Brownist being a just comparison how the Devil is become a round-head : in what manner and how zealously, like them, he is affected with the moving of the Spirit : with the holy sisters of copulation, if he would seem holy, sincere, and pure, were it with the Devill himself : as also the Amsterdammian definition of a Familist. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [8] p. s.n., [London? : 1642?] Attributed to John Taylor. cf. BM. Illustrated t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Roundheads. Great Britain -- Religion -- 17th century. A64163 R19927 (Wing T449). civilwar no The Devil turn'd round-head: or, Pluto become a Brownist. Being a just comparison, how the Devil is become a round-head? In what manner, and Taylor, John 1642 878 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-07 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE DEVIL TURN'D ROUND-HEAD : OR , PLVTO become a BROWNIST . Being a just comparison , how the Devil is become a Round-Head ? In what manner , and how zealously ( like them ) he is affected with the moving of the Spirit . With the holy Sisters desire of Copulation ( if he would seem Holy , Sincere , and Pure ) were it with the Devill himself . THE DEVIL TVRN'D ROVND HEAD , OR , PLUTO become a BROWNIST . DEMON having sufficiently viewed the Epedemicall Spectacles of the World , and withall perceiving men , which exceeded him in knavery , resolved himself to equiparate them in emulation . Yet notwithstanding there were so many Sects , that Pluto himself knew not which to elect to himself , or be conformable unto . First , he began with the Puritans , but they were all in preparation for beyond Sea , into new Plantations , especially into New-England ; that he thought most of them were safe enough under his tuition : then he proceeded on with the Brownists , but some were so employed in Barnes and Stables , others ( the Spirit moving them ) were so occupied among the holy Sisters , that he likewise reputed them secure in his own custody . Then thirdly , he calumniously appropinquated to the Round-heads , but they also were bufied about Cheap-side Crosse , so that he consequently ennumerated all into his own Catalogue : Till at length they became so obstinate , that all the interest , which before he presumed to challenge in them , was totally oblitterated . Then he palpably began to sycophantize , and in a parasiticall pretence supposed to introduce them to his own Satanicall opinions . Thus he began to assimulate himself unto a Round-head , and ( like them ) although he could not swear , yet he could lie most damnably . He did initiate with his Yea's and Verily's so conformably , as if he were a perfect Round-head . Then he proceeded to prune his horns , but he thought that their horns were long enough and continued therefore in that apparent similitude : secondly , he began to prune his hair , and cut it so close to his skull , that it seemed like the Characters of an Amsterdammian print : thirdly , he began to frequent the Woods , for he was sure that he should finde many of them in some hollow trees : fourthly , he followed Conventicles for there he had some confidence to meet the holy Brethren , and Sisters together . Fifthly , he denied the Book of Common-Prayer , because he would be correspondent unto the Roundheads in every particular degree . But to have a more reciprocall affinitie with them , he would exclude the Bishops , and all those who were of the Sacerdotall Function ; as also , those who were comonly called Cavaliers : He likewise desired to be in the community of the holy Sisters , to the fructification of one another , and to their better edification . Moreover , he conformed himself to hate all good manners , all orders , rule , Orthodoxe Divinitie , rule and government in the Common-wealth and Church , for in their opinion they were all superstition and Poperie ; he denied likewise , all good works , Academian Learning , Charitie , and the publike Liturgie of the Church of England , for he with them , conceived them all to be Idolatry , prophanesse , and meer Ceremonies . He also confined himself to the audience of the He and she Lecturers , whose sanctifi'd Divinity in plain sincerity is inspired from the holy spirit . He moreover cropt his hair close to his ears , that he might more easily hear the blasphemy , which proceeded from them , and he might increase a more eager appetite of concupiscence at the aspect of a younger Sister : And lastly , that he might be in a perfect opposition to the Cavalier . He loved the sharpnesse of the nose , because it was prone to smell out the savour of some rich Saints Feast : and that he might more sincerely pronounce the holy Word . He refused all good works ; because he knew them to be so invisible , that they could neither be seen in this world , nor known in the world to come . Thus the Divell in every respect did assimulate himself to the absolute comparison of a Round-head , and became so conformable in every Degree unto them , that for his little Faith he seemed Really so to be . He seemed onely to differ in this , for he broke his horns and the Round-heads grew as long as their ears . Thus we may perspicuously conceive , the diffusive distraction in our Church , and although Schisme abounds in such a redundant superfluity ; Yet we hope the Parliament will judiciously consider the same , and let the Disturbers of the Time suffer exemplary and condign punishment , according to their demerits . FINIS . 
A64165	----	The diseases of the times, or, The distempers of the common-wealth succinctly describing each particular disease wherin the kingdome is troubled : contracted into these heads viz. 1. the immedicable tumour of faction : 2. the strange diffusuion of Brownianisme : 3. the stupendeous inundation of heresie : 4. the desperate swelling of obstinacy : 5. the dangerous disease of feminine divinity : 6. the aspiring ambition of presumption : 7. the audacious height of disobedience : 8. the painted deceitfulnesse of hypecrisie. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64165 of text R9884 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T453). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 7 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 4 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64165 Wing T453 ESTC R9884 12590383 ocm 12590383 63887 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64165) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 63887) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 250:E136, no 6) The diseases of the times, or, The distempers of the common-wealth succinctly describing each particular disease wherin the kingdome is troubled : contracted into these heads viz. 1. the immedicable tumour of faction : 2. the strange diffusuion of Brownianisme : 3. the stupendeous inundation of heresie : 4. the desperate swelling of obstinacy : 5. the dangerous disease of feminine divinity : 6. the aspiring ambition of presumption : 7. the audacious height of disobedience : 8. the painted deceitfulnesse of hypecrisie. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [7] p. Printed for R.T., London : [1642] Refers to Thomas Jordan's A medicine for the times, printed 1641. Attributed to Taylor by the Harvard College Library. Year of publication from Thomason Collection. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Jordan, Thomas, 1612?-1685? -- Medicine for the times. Great Britain -- History -- Charles I, 1625-1649. A64165 R9884 (Wing T453). civilwar no The diseases of the times or, the distempers of the Common-wealth. Succinctly describing each particular disease wherin the kingdome is trou Taylor, John 1642 1102 48 0 0 0 0 0 436 F The rate of 436 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the F category of texts with 100 or more defects per 10,000 words. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-07 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2002-07 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-08 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE DISEASES OF THE TIMES OR , THE DISTEMPERS OF THE COMMON-WEALTH . Succinctly describing each particular Disease wherin the Kingdome is troubled . Contracted into these Heads . viz. 1. The Immedicable tumour of Faction . 2. The strange diffusion of Brownianisme . 3. The stupendeous inundaton of Heresie . 4. The desperate swellng of obstinacy . 5. The dangerous disease of Feminine divinity . 6. The aspiring ambition of presumption . 7. The audacious height of disobedience . 8. The painted deceitfulnesse of hypocrisie . London , printed for R. T. The Diseases of the Times . WHen with mature deliberation I seriously ponder & consider the promiscuous multiplicity of Distempers , wherein this Kingdome is dangerously involved , I conceive it to be reduced into such a miscellaneous laborynth of Faction and schisme that I may without any scrupulous dubitation freely confesse with Seneca , Nunc vere vivimus in inquinatis temporum faecibus : we now truely live in the polluted dregs of time : Yet there was not long since a Pamphlet ( for I may without offence so give it that appellation ) divulged to the publike spectacle of the World , inti●uled , A medicine for the Times , but I thinke him an unskilfull Physitian , that shall apply a Medicine before he hath searched out the Disease ; yet I confesse it was well mixed , and of a strong operation too , had it bin rightly taken ; it had excellent Compounds , but onely it was a little too much troubled with stinging astimulation of conscientiall Physicke . But although it may seeme preposterous to proceed in explication of the diseases , since the medicine hath beene applyed before ; yet I will l●●ch the wounds afresh● that they may heale the better : First then to begin with the Immedicable tumour of Faction , it swels so extreamely big in the Universall sight of all , that it becomes a ●eart-sore to al true-hearted protestants , it imbroyders the Kingdome with such prodigious distractions , that the Church thereby is almost t●rned upside downe . Our streets swarm● with the ●●multuous division of Schisme , whi●h makes thereby this Realme sicke of a quotidian Ague , and perplexeth the State extreamely . Secondly , wee come to the strange diffusion of Brownia●isme ; this ●ect distur●es our Church in●initely , and as the evil spirit of their mindes moves them , they are seduiously imployed with the great exercising of their talent about Cheapside Crosse , that instead of preaching in T●bs , I hope some will suddenly preach in the pillory . Their Doctrine comes altogether by inspiration , and hereupon they doe so frequent the barnes and stables ( a place onely for Oxen and Asses ) that they doe exclude the former , and principally retaine the latter appellation to themselves . The times groan of this disease , and unlesse some sudden cure be remedied by the Parliament , this will bring t●e C●urch quickly into a deep Consumption . Thirdly , we proceed to the stupendeous inundation of Heresie , but our Common Pulpits doe so groane with this Mal●dy , that the Church hereby hath almost contracted a surfeit : These Amsterdamian Zelots can breath five houres in a Text , and they delight not onely in Battologies , b●t also in tautologies , which makes them become so infamous and ridiculous to the World , that t●ey are ludibrious spectacles of dirision : Moreover , they non solum multa , sed etiam stulta eructant : this Hell-nourished ●eresie ( for sure it must receive its original from thence , and be inspired from that sulphurous place of blinded ignorance ) hath begot such a desperate disease in the Clergy , that t is almost growne to a dropsie Fourthly , we come to the desperate swelling of obstinacy ; this is a dangerous Disease , and withall carryes such a reluctaney with her , that it seemes incurable : The hearts of these obstinate persons are so Adamantine , that although they be conf●ted by the credible probability of common reason , yet they are so obdu●e , that nothing but their owne selfe-approved wayes can take any I●pression in them Fifthly , the dangerous disease of Feminine Divintiy , this is frequently heard in every Conventicle , whereof the T●bbes and Trees in most Woods doe ●ing , and there they tattle lowder then they use to doe at Markets . These would reforme the Church , and under that pretence deforme it , but that will be a rare World when women shall weare the breeches , & men peticotes , this greatly tingleth in the ●ares of the world . Sixthly , we are arrived at the aspiring ambition of presu●ption : These superbious persons dare presume to snatch the Ministeriall Function from the mouthes of the Clergie , and dare say they are sent from Heaven , and inspired by the spirit ( of pride ; ) t is in vaine to enumerate the latitude of their presumption , for they dare , and will do any thing what they please : This sicknes is very desperate , and will ( if not castigated ) contaminate the whole body . Seventhly , we are to describe the audacious height of Disobedience , wee may apparantly behold what infamous aspersions are daily cast on the superiour Magistrates ; yea , some are so peremtory , that they dare even de●ract from the Kings Imperiall T●rone and Regall Diademe : If this disease so ig●o●inious , sh●mefull , and contagious continueth incorrigible , it will exulcerate the w●ole Ki●g●o●e beside . Eighthly , and lastly , we come to the painted deceitfulnesse of Hypocrisie ; this is too obvious in the publike view of the w●rld , and those that under the colour of Religio● would reforme the Church● do wholly defor●e it ; ●hese have the voyce of Iacob , but the h●nd of Es●● , and like a Candle , they show a faire Light to others , but waste and consume themselves in their owne pride . T●ese are the Diseas●s , whe●eof these Ti●es languish , and di●●rs cures and Remedies for them may be pers●icuously s●ene in a Book , called , A medicine for the Times . And I hope the Parliament those r●re Physitians , will in due time heale all these Di●tempers . FINIS . 
A64167	----	Englands comfort and Londons ioy expressed in the royall triumphant and magnificent entertainment of our dread soveraigne Lord, King Charles ... Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64167 of text R28877 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T456). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 15 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64167 Wing T456 ESTC R28877 10772258 ocm 10772258 45790 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64167) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 45790) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1411:15) Englands comfort and Londons ioy expressed in the royall triumphant and magnificent entertainment of our dread soveraigne Lord, King Charles ... Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 6, [2] p. : ill. Printed for Frcncis [sic] Coules, London : 1641. Reproduction of original in the Bodleian Library. eng Charles -- I, -- King of England, 1600-1649 -- Drama. A64167 R28877 (Wing T456). civilwar no Englands comfort, and Londons ioy: expressed in the royall, triumphant, and magnificent entertainment of our dread soveraigne lord, King Cha Taylor, John 1641 1817 1 0 0 0 0 0 6 B The rate of 6 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-07 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Englands Comfort , and Londons Ioy : Expressed in the Royall , Triumphant , and Magnificent Entertainment of our Dread Soveraigne Lord , King Charles , at his blessed and safe returne from Scotland on Thursday the 25. of Nouemb. 1641. By the Right Honourable Sir Richard Gurney Knight , Lord Major , and the Recorder , Sir Thomas Gardner , who were at that present both Knighted , who attended his Majesty with the other Right Worshipfull Knights and Aldermen , Sheriftes , and Companies of this famous City of London : Printed at London for Frcncis Coules . 1641. Englands comfort , and Londons joy . NOt to delude my Reader with a long Preface to a short and briefe Relation , I will first begin ( as neare as true intelligence and eye-sight informed me of this great dayes most magnificent and honourable Triumph and entertainment of our most Gracious Soveraigne , at his returne from Scotland to this Honourable City of London . How some other Kings and Princes , of our own and other nations have been formerly entertained by the Lord Major and Citizens of London , it is ( as I have read in our English Histories ) set downe by me in short ; towards the end of this Discourse . All these attended his Lordships comming and then they all road in order to the further grounds joyning upon Kingsland , where they met his Majesty , with the Queen , the Prince Charles , the Duke of Yorke , with the Princesses , Prince Palatine , Dukes , Marquesles , Earles , Viscounts , Barons , Lords , Knights , Gentlemen-Pentioners , Ladyes of Honour , together with 20. Scotish Lords and others ; with his Majesties Guard , and others of his followers , with the spectators of all degrees , sexes , Ages , and sizes , were innumerable : The bankes hedges , high-wayes streets , stalls , and windowes were all embroydered with millions of people , of all sorts and fashions . And all the way the boyes did climbe up trees , And clung close to the boughes like swarmes of Bee . Gratious Soueraigne The rest of the Companies of London were all placed in their standings from the west end of St. Lawrence Lane through Cheape-side , and up Pleer-street to Temple Barre , adorned and set forth with such accoutrements as was done by the other Companies before . After his Majesty was passed to the Guild-Hall , the 500. men and horse , with their footmen , they passed up Cheap-side , and there in Pauls Church-yard they did set themselves in their former order ; and attended till his Majesty had dined . Note that the Kings Majesty with the Queen , the Prince , and the rest of the Royall off-spring that were there , did dine at the east-end of the Guild-Hall , in a place called the Hustings Court : The rest of the Lords , Ladies , and others also dined in the Hall . Entertainments given to Kings in former times by the foresaid City . SIr Henry Picard , Knight Lord Major of the City of London , did in the yeare of our Lord , 1357. at one time entertaine and feast 4. Kings , ( viz. ) Edward the third King of England , Iohn King of France , David King of Scotland , and William King of Cyprus ; Also Edward the black Prince of Wales , the Prince Daulphin of France with all the Nobility and Gentry of Lords , Knights , Ladies and others , were worthily entertained by the said Lord Major , to their great contentments , and memorable Honour of this famous Citie . But to come to neerer times , I finde in Master Stowes Chronicle that Queene Elizabeth in Anno 1585. the 27. of her Raigne that she having been on progresse , and comming to her pallace of Saint Iames , was entertained by the Lord Major , his Brethren the Aldermen and Citizens , 200. of the Commoners being in Velvet Coates , with Gold chaines , on horseback , 1000. of the Companies on foot , and 100. more that bare Torches , Sir Wolstan Dixey Knight Skinner , being then Lord Major . King Iames ( of blessed memory , at his returne from Scotland , in the fifteenth yeare of his Raigne , Anno 1517. was met at Hyde Park by the Lord Major ( Sir George Bols Knight Lord Major ) and the Aldermen , and more then 400. Commoners of the City , with chaines of gold , and Velvet coates , and a present ( a purse with five hundred pound presented to his M●jesty . The like entertainement his Majesty ( King Iames had at his comming to the Cathedrall Church of St. Pauls in London , in the 18. yeare of his Raign 1620 when Sir William Cockain was Lord Major where also al the Companyes stood within places in the way with Banners ann Escouchions , and the streets railed , with Rich presents given . In the 5. year of the Raigne of our now gracious King Charles , 1629. Sir Iames Cambell Knight ( then Lord Major ) feasted eleuen Lords , all Knights of the Garter , and each of them fifty men with Chaines of Gold , and Liveries besides many other of the Nobility Gentry and Commoners then there nobly entertained . Verses Presented to his Majesty . WHen Israel with Iudah did contest , Which of them ought to love King David best ; Iudah claim'd Kindred of the King , and said That he ( by Right ) should still with them have staid : But Isr'el boldly to them straite reply'd , That Davld ( onely ) was with them t' abide ; And that in him they had ten parts , ( at least ) And therefore had most Right and Interest . These words caus'd wicked Sheba , ( Bichri's Son ) Most madly to rebellious Armes to run ; But Sheba's head , which first contriv'd those jarrs ) Was lop'd , and so was ended all the warrs . I wish Great Britaine the like Song to sing In love , who best shall love and serve the King : Let Sheba's head be lost , and let us be , England , and Scotland , both in Vnity . Hee 's Ours and Theirs , and he is Theirs and Ours , Let 's love and serve him , with our Prayers , and Powers ; That as the King is one , so we as one May praise God , for establishing his Throne . When He , ( our SVNNE of joy ) from us set forth His Raies illustrious , lightned all the North : Whilst sighes like Clouds , and showers of Teares & Cares , Was Londons , and faire Englands Southerne shares . But this returne our sadnesse doth destroy , Our Teares of griefe are turn'd to Teares of joy ; Our Night of woe , we patiently endur'd , Our Mornings joy is come we are assur'd . Hee 's come to salve this Kingdomes discontents , To cure all wrenches , fractures , spraines and rents , Where Church , and Common Wealth is dislocated ; And all good men amazed and amated . Gods Great Lieutenant , foure great Kingdomes King , No doubt but he those mischifes downe shall ding To Hells blacke Vault , from whence they first assended , And with a blessed peace , all strife be ended . Now followes the speech spoken to his Maiesty . Dread Soveraigne , WHose Royall presence doth now againe revive our once dejected hearts , beeing overwhelmed with sorrow for your Majesties so long absence : Behold , behold most royall Soveraigne , how your loyall subjects , and wel affected people tryumph , making such acclamations of joy , as not only happy of your Majesties returne , but safe returning ; their hearts , hands , and countenances speak that which their tongues are not able to expresse . True subjects are joyfull whilst ill-affected Traytors , bullrush like , bow down their heads , as being fearfull to behold so sacred a Majesty , as your royall selfe , whose pious & religious actions are no lesse then quotidian Lectors to be read to all Christian Princes abroad , and a pattern to all your Subjects at home , Pompey is forced to fly , when mighty Caesar once doth come in place , so let all your enemies fly and bee consumed before your sacred person . Welcome , welcome , dread Soveraign , upon which words should my tongue for ever harpe , yet would my heart still confesse that expression were wanting unto my loyall desire : Blessed , and for ever let them be happy , those loyall , and our well affected brethren , the Scots I meane , which gave so good entertainement to so royall a Prince , whose Raigne , your well-affected Subjects here present ; do pray to the Heavenly Iehovah , who hither to hath been your Majesties Protector and defender , may be as long as happy , which Conjunction will prove a happy Vnion . So the great God of heaven blesse your sacred Majesty , your royall Consort , and our most hopefull Prince , and the rest of the Royall Progeny with health , peace , and happinesse in this World , and eternall joyes in the next . IN Ovids Metamorphosis I finde Transformed formes , and strange mishapen Shapes ; Of humane transmutations from their Kind To Wolves , to Beares , to Dogs , to Pyes , to Apes ; Yet these were but poeticall escapes , ( Or Moralizing of uxnat'rall deeds ) To shew that Treasons , Murders , Incests , Rapes , From Beastiall mindes , ( in humane formes ) proceeds But through thy power ( which my poore Muse inflames ) A greater wonder is peform'd by me : I have transform'd a Boat from off the Thames , Unto a horse , to come to welcome thee . And now thy Gratious sight I do attain , I le turne that Horse into a boat againe : And all whom thy returne doth not delight , Let them be hang'd , and then they have their right . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A64167e-200 2 Sam. 19. 41 , 42. Chap. 20. Verses presented to the Kings owne hand by John Taylor . 
A64168	----	Epigrammes vvritten on purpose to be read: with a proviso, that they may be understood by the reader; being ninety in number: besides, two new made satyres that attend them. By John Taylor, at the signe of the Poets Head, in Phœnix Alley, neare the middle of Long-Aker, or Covent Garden. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64168 of text R219168 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T457). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 37 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 16 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64168 Wing T457 ESTC R219168 99830682 99830682 35135 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64168) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 35135) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 2081:05) Epigrammes vvritten on purpose to be read: with a proviso, that they may be understood by the reader; being ninety in number: besides, two new made satyres that attend them. By John Taylor, at the signe of the Poets Head, in Phœnix Alley, neare the middle of Long-Aker, or Covent Garden. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 5-30 p. [s.n.], London : printed in the yeare, 1651. In verse. Text continuous despite pagination. Copy has print show-through, affecting text. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. eng Epigrams, English -- Early works to 1800. A64168 R219168 (Wing T457). civilwar no Epigrammes, vvritten on purpose to be read: with a proviso, that they may be understood by the reader; being ninety in number: besides, two Taylor, John 1651 6540 11 0 0 0 0 0 17 C The rate of 17 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-10 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-12 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-12 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion EPIGRAMMES , VVritten on purpose to be read : WITH A PROVISO , That they may be understood by the READER ; Being Ninety in Number : Besides , two new made Satyres that attend them . By John Taylor , at the Signe of the Pivets Head , in Phoenix Alley , neare the middle of Long Aker , or Covent Garden . LONDON , Printed in the Yeare , 1651. To the good or bad Reader . 1. REad well , and then these following lines are mine , But read them like a ( Botcher ) they are thine . Such vertue from some Readers doth proceed , They make the Verse the better which they read : They know their Idioms , Accents , Emphases , Comma's , Stops , Colons , and Parenthesis , Full Points , and Periods , briefe Apostraphes ; Good knowing Readers understand all these : But such as dares my Booke to take in hand , Who scarce can read , or spell , or understand ; Yet ( like Sir reverence Geese ) they will be gagling , And teare my Lines to tatters with their hagling ; Such I request ( if Batchelours they bee ) To leave my Book , and learn their A , B , C : If married men they be , let them take paine To exercise their Horn-books once againe . 2. Of friends . Hee 's happy that hath friends at need ( I wot ) Hee 's happier that hath friends , and needs them not . 3. Unity , Enmity , Amity . Our Unity is turn'd to Enmity , And Enmity hath banish'd Amity . 4. Of Credit . RALPH deepe in Debt , curst Creditors and Credit , And seemes to shew some reasons why he did it : 'T was Credit made his Creditors to trust him , Sans Credit , into jayle they had not thrust him . 5. Honest Jone . JONE is a perfect Mayd , who dares gainsay it , No Faults I in her Honesty can see ; Her carriage dares bide touch and test , but weigh it , No honesty amongst her Faults can bee . 6. Teeth and Hornes . Teeth breeding and Tooth-aking is most painfull , But Wittalls breeding Horns , hath oft been gainfull . 7. Of Seales and Armes . Eagles and Lyons , Kings of Birds and Beasts , Adorne mens Seales and Armes with honour'd Crests : But Beasts are Beasts , and fairest Fowles are Fowle , And many a Knaves Seale's better then his Soule . 8. Thrifty preaching . He that will preach for Wealth and Dignity Must SIMON PETERS Doctrine quite refuse : 'T is SIMON MAGUS , his Hypocrisie Mounts such as cunningly their craft can use . 9. Devout Margery . My sister Margery is sins Correcter , Of purest sisters thread she 'le spin a Lecture : She 'le stand and preach as long as she can stir , It is not standing long can trouble her . 10. Things done by neither wise men or fooles . Wise men will not do as Great men have done , And Fooles cannot into such madnesse run : Thus Wit nor Folly , neither will or can Do mischiefe like the foole-wise , rash proud man . 11. Labour in vaine . A rayling Knave can libell and revile With tongue and pen , his worke about to bring ; But wisdome hath the power at him to smile , Whilst Rascalls gain the Gallows and a string . 12. Hang pride . Why in gay Garments do fond fooles take pride ? Cloaths are sins pennance , made to hide our shame ; Had man forborn to sin , no man had dy'd , And cloaths ( like fig-leaves ) cannot hide nor blame . 13. Another . Something ( I know not what ) hath made me proud , I know 't is neither Lands , or Coyne , nor cloathing ; Nor of such parts , wherewith my mindes endow'd , But I am proud , that I am proud of nothing . 14. Another to the same tune . According to the wearers worthynesse I do esteeme , or not esteeme Apparell ; An outside brave , an inside base may dresse , For tryall shews what Liquor 's in the Barrell . 15. Just payment . I rather would doe well , and not be prais'd , Then to doe ill , and have much commendation : For by the one to blisse I may be rais'd , And by the other gain my condemnation . 16. Content . If I have Health , I will no sicknesse feare , If I be Sick , of Health I 'le not dispaire : Let God doe with me what he pleaseth here , If Fortune wrong me , Hope shall me repaire . 17. Sufficient knowledge . Hee 's wise enough , that knows enough , but he That would know more then is enough 's a foole : Our Parents knew , but knowing more would be , And knew too much out of the Serpents Schoole . 18. Of Death . Our dayly minding Death doth sweeten it , It makes us dye no sooner , but more fit . 19. Well and ill . To doe good without promise , is a grace , To promise , and not doe , is vile and base : Rich Knaves doe poore Fooles with vaine hopes oft fill With promises of good , performing ill , 20. Beware Hypocrisie . He that doth say his Prayers , and goes to bed , Forgives his foes , forgets revenge and spite , And straight wayes hammers mischiefe in his head , The Divell is his bedfellow that night . 21. Of the fashion . To be in fashion , 't is the only way To be quite out of fashion , if you can To be fantastick , shapelesse in aray , And all Religions is an English man . 22. Of speech . To speake all that I know , would shew small wit , To speake more then I know , were worse then it . 23. On long and short life . If life be long , 't is troublesome and weary , Their Miseries are most that longest tarry : We make the bad world worse , he travells best That soonest ends his journy , and at rest . 24. Of true friendships use . 'T is happynesse to have a Friend at need , But if my Folly slight that happynesse : Like him that spares to speake ▪ may spare to speed , So too much manners leaves us in distresse . 25. Better lost then kept . Who e're he be , that seemes my friend to be , And headlong runs in every vicious course : His friendship sure will never better me , And I 'le forsake him , lest he make me worse . 26. Extreames . Woe is in want , and dangers in excesse To live and give , I wish no more or lesse : Content 's enough , some men are weake , some stronger , And more doe dye by surfeits then by hunger . 27. A fig for Fortune . Fortune my foe doth frown on me , but why ? Because I 'le not adore her Diety : She scornes me , and I scorne to be her thrall , Much lower then I am , I cannot fall . 28. Good gain'd from bad . When as a bad man doth good Doctrine teach , His words , but not his workes to me doe preach : His sayings all are mine , his are his deeds , I have the Hearbs and Flowers , and he the Weeds . 29. How I would be esteemed . I rather would be innocent and free , And ( on suspition ) wrongfully corrected : Then to be guilty of great crimes and be In high regard , respected , unsuspected . 30. Reverence to Saints . I reverence all Saints dead , and all that live , I honour much their blessed memory ; But if Gods glory unto Saints I give ▪ How can I hope God will me glorifie ? 31. Do thy worst blind Fortune . If Fortune tosse me , yet I still have scope To fear her smiles , and when she frownes to hope . 32. Want of knowledge . Had I e're thought that money would be scant , I had kept some against these times of want : Or had I known what Ware would be sold dear , I would have been a Merchant but one year . 33. Had I wist . If thou wilt quiet be at Board and Bed , Beware of , had I wist , before thou Wed : Comfort comes slow , but cares increase in heaps ; A wise man therefore looks before he leaps . 34. Fast and loose . Fast bind , fast find : my Bible was well bound ; A Thiefe came fast , and loose my Bible found : Was 't bound and loose at once ? how can that be ? 'T was loose for him , although 't was bound for me . 35. A lye , and no lye . T is not still out of sight and out of minde , For one may mind his meat that is stark blind : But he that 's blind , and hath no mind to eat , Then out of sight and mind , is that mans meat . 36. True Love . He that can live by love , lives wondrous well ; True love beyond all treasure doth excell : Give me that Love to live well , and to trust In God and goodnesse , other love is lust . 37. Treasure . Love is no lack ▪ yet what I love I lack , A constant friend , whose friendship will not crack : Give me a friend that 's true , and he shall have My Love ( Sans ) Lack , till I am in my Grave . 38. To be rul'd , or not rul'd . The Proverb saith : Be 't better , or be 't worse , Be alwayes rul'd by him that beares the Purse : But JUD A S bore the Purse , and such as he , I hope shall never beare rule over me . 39. Wit bought too deare . They say , Wit 's never good till it be bought , And being bought too deare it proves stark naught : Such wit had they whose ill got pounds and pence , Bought bloudy war , and hunted Peace from hence . 40. All comes to one passe . DICK , and TOM borrowed Gold , and like true debters , Non-payment shakled them in iron fetters : Were the debt iron , fetters gold , what then ? Poor DICK and TOM were ne're the richer men . 41. A hopefull Boy . The Boy sayd , Father , whither so hastily ? Quoth he to th' Butchers , JACK , some Biefe to buy : Father , he 'le cheat you if you go alone ; Take the Dog with you , two heads better than one . 42. A plain case . 'T is no dissembling , ( as I understand ) T' hold fire in one , and water in tother hand : One hand the pipe holds , with fire smoak , and smother , When often good strong Water 's in the other . 43. All is true . Thou that with brags thy furious Fame supportest , Remember that the curst Cows horns are shortest : The bawling Cur will very seldome bite , And bragging Knaves can better eat than fight . 44. Well grown is good . In twelve years , GRACE a fine tall womans grown , Shot up in height , the like is seldome known : The times are bad , if GRACE prove good , then GRACE Is well grown ; but Ill weeds will grow apace . 45. Few faults . Most men have many faults , but NED hath none , Amongst the many he hath scarcely one : He 's so much faultlesse in meat , drink , and cloathing , And other sins , that he is good for nothing . 46. A chac'd unchaste woman . WILL prais'd his Wife , a vertuous Dame to be , And that few females were so chaste as she : If thou hadst sworn it ( WILL ) thou hadst not ly'd For she was chac'd by Whippers through Cheapside . 47. To be quiet or unquiet . To hear much , to say little , and do lesse , Are great preservatives of quietnesse : But to hear little , say much , and do more , Such dispositions shall have trouble store . 48. Avoyd Hypocrisie . Faults with Hypocrisie that cover'd are , Are worse than crimes that be stark naked bare : He may mend whose bad deeds are still in sight , But there 's no Devill to the Hypocrite . 49. Freedome and Bondage . When one gives to me freely , I know well , That for his freenesse , I my freedome sell : For unto him that gives I must conclude , I am bound fast in Bonds of gratitude . 50. Glorious Vanity . He that his Reputation seeks to raise , By praysing of himselfe , himselfe disprayseth : Though he for Arts and Arms do merit praise . His glory 's vaine , whom selfe vain-glory raiseth . 51. Of just anger . I may be angry , and no mallice beare , I must be angry with my sins I wot : It is a vertue few can purchase here , At once to be both angry and sin not . 52. Wilfull Will . 'T is apt for men to fall in Errours vaine , From bad to worse , from worse to worst of ill : But he 's a foolish Reprobate in graine , That willing falls , and wilfully lies still . 53. A brace of Beagles . A Sland'rer , and a Flatt'rer are Vile Beasts , One 's devilish wild , the other's damned tame ; Where ere they come they are accursed Guests , They murther soule and body , name and fame . 54. A good Memento . No cursed Lucre in my minde shall creep , Sins sad remembrance robs me of my sleep : One day of life doth shoave another on , Untill one after one , my dayes are done . 55. Mutability . In various times we dayly live and move , To day a mighty man on Cockhorse mounted , To morrow Fortune gives him a remove , And as an abject Knave he is accounted . 56. Good Greatnesse . Most sweet , most Worthy , Honourable , Great Is he that for his God and Countrey dyes : The world shall with his praises be repleat , And grace with glory him immortalize . 57. Of Angels . Invisible two sorts of Angels are , And those celestiall and infernall be : And Earthly Angels ▪ like black Swans are rare , Meer strangers all , invisible to me . 58. The Crosse brings glory . A Christians crosses glory doth begin , That glory doth not end his misery : But yet that misery shall glory win , And Grace will crowne it with eternity . 59. Words are winde . Words are but wind that do from men proceed , None but Camelions on bare Aire can feed : Great men large hopefull promises may utter ; But words did never Fish or Parsnips butter . 60. Feares and jealousies . The sting of conscience , Jealousies and Feares , Makes mad men fall together by the eares : If these three were all banish'd into Hell , ( From whence they came ) all would be peace and well . 61. B and C. How can the word call'd CHANGED , HANGED B ? With ease , if you but take away the C. 62. Adoration . All knees shall bow at Jesus Name , but not To Jesus Image will I bow one jot . 63. Honest Besse May . BESSE MAY may honest be , who e're sayes nay , But May once past , there are eleven months more : 'T is mighty odds , and I will never lay Eleven to one : BESSE MAY may be a Whore . 64. Quick and free passage . Who sayes the Gospel hath not passage free ? He lies most basely , if he were my Brother : It passeth so quick , that it seems to flee Too swiftly , in at one-eare , out at t'other . 65. Desperate Dick . DICK is a desperate fellow , but at what ? He hath no mercy on his meat , or Wench . He drank a Dutch man drunk as any Ratt , He 's stouter at a Trencher , then a Trench , 67. A slovenly Schollar . In TRISTRAM it is hard to be discern'd , Whether he is most sloven , or most learn'd : He weares his cloaths most foule , rides without Yet learnedly speakes sentences in sirrops . 68. To a scornfull Reader . Grave IGNORAMUS , cries tush , pish , mew , And on my lines lookes dunsicall a skew : And draws his mouth in scorn so near his eare , So much awry , he seems to whisper there . 69. Manna and Mammon . Mammon , ( corrruply gaind ) compare I may To Manna gatherd on the Sabboth day : They are the Devils blessings , but Gods curse Unto the soule , the body and the purse . 70. Blind zeale . Zeale contrary to knowledge , is not right , There 's too much heat in 't , and too little light : He that in perfect Zeale would be compleat , Let him have true light , he shall want no heat . 71. On the late Kings poore servants . 〈◊〉 never did in armes the State offend , Yet want of means makes misery our end . Had we the Fortune but to be believ'd , Our happynes would be , to be reliev'd . 72. A good faith . He that wants Faith , and apprehends the griefe Of what he wants , he hath a true beliefe : He that doth grieve , because his griefe 's too small , Hath a true griefe , but the best Faith of all . 73. Gluttony inward and outward . Mans Maw consumes ( by Gluttony's command ) Fish , Fowle , Fruits , Beasts , from Sea , or Ayre , and Land ; And in his words his glut'nous mouth doth sin , More oft by giving out , then taking in . 74. Sir reverence love . TOM swore to KATE , her sweet and comely making Had fill'd him full of fumbling belly aking : Sweet heart ( quoth'he ) I shall be grieved thus , Till I in thy sweet presence do untruss . 75. Kates kind Answer . For thy sake TOM , my prayer , and plaint , and mone is , I love thee Dear , as VENUS lov'd ADONIS : And therefore let not thy affections wander , I 'le love thee as the Goose doth love the Gander . 76. Brave resolution . WILL is all heart , and like a Hart can run , He 's wise in Battle , that can danger shun : If strong hands cannot victory attain , Yet light and nimble heeles may safety gain . 77. Leggs worthy of love . A Cut-purse cuts , and swiftly ran away , But yet for all his nimble fingers cunning ▪ Hands deserv'd hanging , legs without delay Sav'd all the body from it , by swift running . 78. Paine with pleasure . My Ladies shooe did pinch her , and yet please her , her painfull pride her pretty foot did grace : It did at once both anger and appease her , Whilst smiles and frownes danc'd Anticks in her face . 79. Friends are better then Lovers . Lovers and Friends are two things ; he that loves May waver , and not alwayes be a Friend ; But he that is a friend experience proves His Love and Friendship 's constant to the end . 80. Of lying and giving . Why are not Maids afraid to Lye , declare , Most men with lying buy and sell their Ware : But many Maids do neither sell or buy , They Give their Maidenheads , and then they Lye . 81. Great Place , small Grace . When Great ( not Goodmen ) Offices possesse , Who are Revengefull , Greedy , and oppresse ; Dismisse such Knaves , that so their Place disgraces , And let good Places , still remaine the Places . 82. A great Witch . Pride is a Witch , few from her charme escapes , She turns us dayly into sundry shapes : She hath her Spirits , who do work like Thrashers ▪ Mercers , soft Silke-men , Taylors , Habberdashers 83. Repast , and Repose . The Rich man hath Repast , but small Repose , The poor man hath repose , with small Repast : One alwayes strives to gaine , and fears to lose , The other with content doth please his tast . 84. Sunday . The Lords Day is the Lanthorne and the Light Of th'other six dayes ▪ to direct us Right : Or like the Sun , amidst the Planets seven , To light us heer on Earth , and hence to Heaven . 85. Sabaoth . The Jewes observ'd the Sabaoth constantly In memory of Rest , and their Creation : We should our Sundayes keep obediently , To minde us of Redemption and Salvation . 86. A sweet Saint . PHILLIP doth think his Wife 's a Saint , and shee In pure pride thinks her selfe a Saint to bee : Shee 'le scold , be proud , and in a corner kiss , And this is PHILLIPS Saint , the Devill she is ▪ 87. Want and abundance . A man may want Coyn , Cloaths , Drink , and Meat , He may want health , sight , hearing , hands , and toes , But cares , and griefes and sorrows , may be great , The late Kings servants have no want of those . 88. A hard businesse . Should Whores and Thieves be all hang'd , 't were great pity , 'T would halfe unpeople Country , Towne , and City : But hang up Drunkards , Swearers , Whorers , then ( And all the Knaves ) what should we do for men ? 89. Thoughts and words . My Thoughts are free , I wish my tongue were so , Then would I freely speake what I do think ; But yet my tongue ▪ too boldly shall not go , It is more safe at injuries to wink . 90. Good mornings practise . First worship God , he that forgets to pray , Bids not himselfe good morrow , or good day : Let thy first worke be , to confesse thy sins , And then thy dayly businesse well begins . A SATYRE : Hypocrisie discovered . A Holy crew of brethren conventickl'd With Scriptures strange Interpretations pickl'd ; And sanctified sisters , whose nonsence Snoach'd through the Nose , their Doctrines quintessence : They held unlawfull , and that no man may So much as dresse his meat on th' Sabboth day : Another sayd ( like a most subtle plodder ) Folke must not milke their Cowes , nor give Beast fodder : The third replyd , it was a grievous crime To let their Jacks turn spits in Sermon time : But if ought must be done without delaying , It 's to be done whilst Common Prayer's saying ; For when that 's ended , straight the Psalme begins , And they 'l go singing to repent their sins : Then said a fourth , it fils my-heart with wo To see a Preacher ride , Christ bad them go And teach all Nations , verily to me This riding is no godly sight to see : A fift man sayd ( brethren ) it is my lot ( As you all know ) to sell Ale by the pot : And ( my belov'd ) my Brewer brought me late Ale , a french crown the barrell above rate : But had not Orders from the State forbid it , To buy such drinke , sure I should ne're have did it : The Saturday at night they brought it in , The Sabboth day to worke it did begin : Surely 't was most prophane unhallowed drink Brewd with some Jewes , or Turkish Mault I thinke ; For I perswaded it from worke to leave , And more and more it still did huffe and heave : I with much griefe unto the teaching went , Where GILES the Weaver gave me much content ; The next day I the Barrels head beat out , And let the Ale run all the house about ; As good for nought but hogs to swill and swash , And for the Swine 't was comfortable wash : Brother ( sayd one ) although too dear you payd , You did do well , because you disobeyed ; And you did better ( as all wise men thinke ) When ( zealously ) you spilt that wicked drinke . Another sayd , when I did set mine eye on The Kings Armes in the Church ▪ the Rampant Lyon ; His priap mov'd concupiscentiall motions , And did disturbe and hinder my devotions : But when my husband came to be Church-warden , I 'le have some form of Flowers from Field or Garden , Or sedge , or flags betwixt his legs were painted , That hid his whimwham which my minde had tainted . A Satyre against swearing , equivocation , mentall reservation , and detestable dissimulation . TO pretend , and the contrary to intend , With th' World began , and with the World shall end : The Divell himselfe ( who first made man a sinner ) Of this dissembling Art , was the beginner . Since when , his Sons , and Schollars , Hypocrites , Accursed Antichristian Jesuites , Christ kissing trayterous bast Iscariothites , Soule foundred , soules confounding Hereticks , All cheverell conscienc'd cockbrain'd Schismaticks , With many nicknam'd Romane Catholicks ; And every Heresie , and Schisme , or Sect , All diffring , and all boast to be th' Elect : Pretending all , true zeale to preach and pray , Intending all the clean contrary way . Amazed , and amated much I am To see Great Brittain turn'd to Amsterdam ; Six years agone we had of Sex fourescore , Which are encreast now to one hundred more : A Book that 's call'd the Gangrean , printed late , Their Authors and Opinions doth repeat : Ninescore Religions that book sheweth cleer , Lord , what a Harvest hath the Devill made heer : Those all pretend Religion , but indeed Most of them scarcely know their Christian Creed . The Devill can turn himselfe t' an Angell bright , Seem to pretend no wrong , yet do no right : He did pretend to make our Parents great , As is their Maker , but by that defeat He did intend , like to himselfe to make 'em Fiends ( or fiends fellows ) that God might forsake 'em . CAIN did pretend with ABELL , like a friend And brother , when he murther did intend : When ABSOLON seem'd to pretend no ill To AMNON , he intended him to kill ; He did pretend Religions good desire ▪ When he his Fathers Throne intends t' aspire : ACHITOPHELL pretended Truth and Reason , When he intended foolishnesse and treason : SAUL did pretend great love to DAVID , but He did intend how he his throat might cut : JOAB pretended to be ABNERS friend , When ( with a stab ) he brought him to his end : The wicked Jewes ( with noyse ) HOSANNA cri'd To him , they few dayes after crucifi'd : And JUDAS sayd , haile Master , when he meant Foule treason , to betray the Innocent : Thus in all Ages , since the Worlds Creation , Both Devils and men have us'd Equivocation : For as a cunning Fencer , looking down , Aymes at the foot , but means to crack the crown So squint eyd , true , false friendship , seems to see , But ne're intends , what it pretends to bee : We 're too much leavend , like the Pharisees , And to all goodnesse meere Antipodes : He 's counted the best man , that best can prate , Though 's deeds and words be illegitimate . If our good words with good works could agree , The world no better people had then we : Yet too too many this bad time affords That cannot give to God or man good words ; Nor for themselves , or of themselves can they Speak one good word in any thing they say . Their speech to God ( or of God ) is most base , To curse or sweare are th' only garbs of grace : Their prayers unto God are , God dam , forsake 'em , Renounce , confound , consume , the Devill take 'em ; Sink , rot their soules , for evermore renounce 'em , Consume them , or in hell to powder pounce 'em : These , with some prayers like these , they night and da With great devotion fervently do pray . To God they speak thus , but when they speak of him , 'T is either to blaspheam , deride , or scoffe him ; With cursed tongues , and teeth , to rend and teare His dreadfull name when they forsweare and sweare . Too oft these wretched Imps these oaths afford , By God , Christ Jesus ; by the living Lord , By God Almighty , by th' eternall God , Thus under foot his glorious name is trod By godlesse Villains , who will brag and boast That He 's the bravest man that sweareth most . God is no God to them , they do reject him , Like skild Anatomists they will dissect him ; They rip him up with Oaths from foot to head , His wounds , blood , heart , nailes , body , soule , and bread , His blessed and soule saving life , his death , These cursed oaths are belch'd with th' odious breath Of Hels dear hel-hounds , who to practise these , They lie and study on their beds of ease . To flourish their discourse , their brains are framing New coyned oaths , to grace pots , pipes , and gaming Sure these good fellows have some friends in hell , And with them they desire to be and dwell ; Or ese they have a great desire to see Hels Kingdome , and what things the Devils bee . And as men that would travell , would attaine Some knowledge in the tongues of France , or Spaine , Th' Italian , or the High , Low , spacious Dutch , The Russe , Shavonian , Latine , Greeke , or such As is the language where they mean to go , Each Traveller these tongues would gladly know , That when they came to any forraine Land , They might the peoples speeches understand : So swearers will to hell a voyage make , And therefore they most studious pains do take To learn hels language , to blaspheam and sweare , That all their friends may understand them there : These men in their mad furies do suppose That Hel's a Kingdome where all pleasure grows ; And that Elyzium is a pleasant place , Where soules immortall dance the wild-goose chase : Their stupid brains the Devill hath so possest , That Hel's a place of wealth , joy , peace , and rest ; That Heaven 's a fiction , and no place of pleasure , That to be damn'd is everlasting treasure : This is the cause they scorne to aske salvation , And pray God dam'em , and beg for damnation . 'T is wonder to see mad men beat their brains To gain perdition , and eternall pains : Of God they ( like the foole ) do think there 's none , Or that he is a weake and simple one ; One that regards not what men do below , Or sees not , knows not , how the world doth go ; This is the swearers faith , his mirth , his game , Else he durst ne're blaspeam th' Almighties name , PLUTO's an asse , and BELZEBUB's a foole , And LUCIFER himselfe may go to schoole ; For all the Conclave of the Devils in Hell Cannot a cursed swearer parallell : Sometimes of Christianity they 'l prate , Yet live a life , abhord and reprobate . 'T is sayd , that charity at home begins , And that love hids a multitude of sins ; Subjection to high Powers we are enjoynd , Obedience unto all of every kind , Of these rare vertues , swearers have no share ; To no body they charitable are ; I truely think he loves himselfe not well , That prayes God dam him , and doth wish for Hell : Want of selfe love and charity do prove He beares to no man charity or love . If to himselfe his love no better be , His charity and love is not for me : Can they do service to an earthly King , That oaths and curses against God dare fling ? No , those as dare the heavenly power blaspheam Are no good servants for power lesse supream : The wrath of God is hot , his anger burns , And for vain swearing , the whole Land now mourns ; This Nation , and the people at division , No peace but by the sanguine swords decision . The Land 's o'respread with leprosie of swearing , And Gods great patience weary of forbearing ; For which his plagues of slaughtering sword we find , And 't is much fear'd famine 's not far behind : Yet swearers to be Christians do pretend , Though ( worse then Atheists ) they their lives do spend ; That Pagans , Heathens , Infidels , Jewes , Turkes , Sweare lesse , and use better words and workes . Time was , that Justice did the sword unsheath , That the blaspheamer strait was ston'd to death ; And in this wicked wretched Generation , Swearing is counted manly reputation , Or recreation , or the Gentile grace Of speeches fine Embrodery , like gold lace Upon a saddle , which a sow must weare , So it becomes a Gentleman to sweare : The Devill is bad , but sure the swearer 's worse , For I ne're heard the Devill did sweare or curse . What execrable creatures are they then , But Hell-hounds , and the Devils Journy-men ? Himselfe doth scorn to do a worke so base , His basest Rascals do supply that place : How can these men plead Christianity , When as they want common humanity ? Mad fooles , who every day do beg and crave Damnation , which they would be loth to have . The sacred Text , the Pulpit , and the Presse Have prest these faults hard to mens consciences ; Yet all that ever hath been spoke or pend , Hath made the swearer not a whit amend : These bitter lines of mine , may worke perhaps To Muzzle or bung up some swearers chaps : God and good men I 'm sure are on my side , And I ( in all that 's written ) have not lyde : Some do pretend a peace , and much do prattle , Yet do intend to bloodshed , and to battle : But let them never claime a Christian name , Whose trade and pleasure is in blood and flame Of their dear Country , and rip , rend , and tear Their mothers womb , which did such bastards bear . These sons of Hittites , and of Amorites , God do to them , as to the Midianites . Make them as JABIN , and as SISERA dy'd At ENDORS field , where KISHONS Brook doth slyd . As they became as dung , so let them bee That to a lawfull peace will not agree . The Peace of God , grant us , thou God of Peace , Let us cease sin , thou wilt our sorrows cease ; Let 's frame our lives according to thy word , And let no sword be drawn , but Justice sword : To which end , thou good God of consolation , Send blessed Peace to this afflicted Nation . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A64168e-6050 Psal. 83. 
A64169	----	A full and compleat answer against the writer of a late volume set forth entituled A tale in a tub, or, A tub lecture : with a vindication of that ridiculous name called roundheads : together with some excellent verses on the defacing of Cheapside crosse : also proving that it is far better to preach in a boat than in a tub / by Thorny Ailo ... Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64169 of text R16021 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T461). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 14 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64169 Wing T461 ESTC R16021 12598798 ocm 12598798 64094 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64169) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 64094) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 251:E141, no 19) A full and compleat answer against the writer of a late volume set forth entituled A tale in a tub, or, A tub lecture : with a vindication of that ridiculous name called roundheads : together with some excellent verses on the defacing of Cheapside crosse : also proving that it is far better to preach in a boat than in a tub / by Thorny Ailo ... Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 8 p. Printed for F. Cowles, T. Bates and T. Banks, London : 1642. Attributed to John Taylor. cf. BM. Woodcut illus. on t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Roundheads -- Poetry. Cheapside Cross (London, England) -- Poetry. A64169 R16021 (Wing T461). civilwar no A full and compleat answer against the writer of a late volume set forth, entituled A tale in a tub, or, A tub lecture: with a vindication o Taylor, John 1642 2626 7 0 0 0 0 0 27 C The rate of 27 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-06 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-07 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-07 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-08 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A full and compleat Answer against the Writer of a late Volume set forth , entituled A Tale in a Tub , or A Tub-Lecture : with a Vindication of that ridiculous name called ROUND-HEADS . Together with some excellent verses on the defacing of Cheap-side Crosse . Also proving that it is far better to preach in a Boat than in a Tub. By THORNY AILO , Annagram . LONDON , Printed for F. Cowles , T. Bates , and T. Banks . 1642. First , The Complaint of the abused most ridiculous Round-heads . COme , brethren , let 's deplore our wofull state , Since all we have done is almost undone : Our paines and charges both betimes and late Is like the battry of an Eld●● Gun ; We back againe unto our trade must fall , Nor shall we be allow'd to preach at all . And we from Sylla to Charybdis cast And from Chrybdis back to Sylla hurld , From wrong to injurie , from griefe that 's past , To woe that 's present , we rub through the world , 'Twixt Hawke and Buzzard , we seeme Planet-struck , 'Midst Chance and Fate , bad Fortune and ill Luck . 'T is manifest that we have done our best , To bring all wit and learning in disgrace ; Tho Church and Church-men we do still molest , In hope we each might have a Preachers Place : Our zeale hath still the House of Prayer deni'd , And many a Barne and Stable sanctifi'd . What have we not done ? we have rav'd and rail'd , Vn●ail'd , revil'd , exclaim'd , and made a noyse , Brake windowes downe , left nothing unassail'd , And wanting men ( to clamour ) borrowed boyes : We have most stoutly play'd the beasts like men , In hope to be all benefic'd , ( But when ? ) 'T is said , that they which China dishes make , Doe burie them in the earth an hundred yeares : Their Makers being dead , their Heires doe take Those dishes from the earth , and all our feares Is , that doe what we can with works and wishes , Our labours will be like to China dishes . For now againe the wicked 'gin to rise , And call us Round-heads , and such scurvie names , And do our pure profession scandalize With Libels , Pamphlets , and most true exclaimes : So that we gape like pining Tantalus , For all we have done is wroth seant a Lowse . But why do I thus toll our griefes in Meetre , Prose is meeter for our capacities by halfe , hang Poets and Poetry , wee could never endure them , no verse is more sweet than a mans neck-verse ( if it be said in season ) and as for Rhime , it is as much distastefull to us as Reason , Yet I would needs know by what Reason wee have the name of Round-heads put upon us ; me thinks our heads are no rounder than our fore-fathers : Some say they call us so , because our tongues do trowle more roundly than our Ancestours did , and that they did use honest Square dealing , and we only professe and practise Round Talking or speaking . Others say , that we are so termed , because wee doe cut our haire shorter than our eares ; and the reason is , because long haire hinders the sound of the Word from entring into the heart : and ( truly ) it is no shame for a man to weare his owne eares . Yet in the 19. Chapter of Leviticus , and the 27 verse , we are forbid to cut round the corners of our heads , or to mar the tufts of our beards ; but those words were spoken to the Iewes by Moses , and all the world knowes that we are Gentiles , we have nothing to doe with Iewes or ceremonies , I can eat Pork and Pig ( which was forbidden to the Iewes ) and I love a good Sow or a Bore next my wife and my selfe . Others there be that say we are called Round-heads , in regard that by our heads wee are more like Globes than those that weare their haire long , and man being a little world , is by the roundnesse of the head a figure or embleme of the greater . Morgan Llewellin ( that grave Greek Author ) saith in the ninth Chapter of his Litigious Aphorismes , That Bias the Philosopher was borne in an Haven Towne of Ionia , called P●i●ne : This Bias had a Round Running head , and hee devised ( from the mold of his head ) the first Round Bowles , in memorie whereof they are called Bias Bowles to this day ; but the world is too full of rubs now , and most heads run like Bowles , contrary to the Bias , that an honest man can hardly win a good game all his life time . There are some that report , that wee are called Round-heads , and Ovall-heads , by reason of the similitude of an egg , I mused why that comparison was , but at last I perceived , that the a●lusion was not to the Ovall for me of the Egg , but to the addlenesse of the braines in the head , which I hold to be very significant . There was a fellow lately did set forth a Pamphlet , entituled A Tale in a Tub , or A Tub Lecture ; The speaker of it hee saith was one My heele mend sole , an inspired Brownist , and a most upright Translator : The house ( where it is said to be spoken ) was neere Bedlam ; the time when , the 21 of December last , and the writers name of it , is only under the two thred-bare letters of I. T. I could almost perswade my selfe , that those letters of I. T. should stand for Iohn Taylor the Aquaticall Poet , and yet mee thinks he should have preferred a Boate before a tub to make a pulpit of , for a Boate is more primitive to preach out of , then a Tub or a Kinderkin . A fishers boate once served the best Preacher that ever was , for a Canonicall Pulpit ; but let that businesse alone , and returne to the Tub. It is not impossible , but a Cobler may draw or vent a Firkin of smal wit out of a Hogs-head , and ( verily ) me thinks it was a rare businesse , that the Hogs-head did not leake when the man ran over amaine ; But it is the property and policy of a Learned man to barrell up more then he can broach . There was such Vertue once in Tub , that a grave and wise Philosopher made choise of one for his study , which tub hee valued so highly , that he would not change it for the Place of Alexander the Great , ( or Alexander of St. Magnus ) and that may bee the reason that our brother ( the Cobler ) made choyse of a Tub , ( he that is offended at it , I wish him in Cornelius his Tub , and that is a pocky Tub , as a French Gentleman told me the other day ) but to returne to our purpose , I have read of a people inhabiting somewhere beyond the unknowne Southerne World ( or Terra Australis Incognita ) these people do once a year offer their old shooes and boots to their Heathen Gods , O what a mighty trade might a preaching Cobler drive there being able alone of himselfe , to prepare and offer the Sacrifice , and so preach the oblation Sermon too , I know a worthy member fit to be an Assistant to him , one that is originally a Heele-maker , but now he is an inspired expounder , there are so many of us now a dayes in England , that some may bee well spared into other Countryes . In the history of Spayne in the City of Salamanca , there dwelt a most Heroicall and Magnificent Cobler named Signior Laza●illo Bobadilla de Tormes , this brave Sparke ( at his death ) and on his deathbed called his eldest sonne to him , and after he had given his last blessing , he gave him this counsell . My son ( quoth he ) I must leave thee , thou knowest that my father ( and thy Grandfather ) was a famous Cordwainer in Civill , thy mother a Millers daughter of Tolledo , they and I here live in fame and reputation , and I dye a man renowned for my Art . And therefore I charge thee ( on my blessing ) that thou do thy best endeavour to retaine the dignity of the Majesty of so great a family . Truly , a man of such mighty spirit was too good to be a Spanyard , a Papist or a Cobler , had he been inspired as some of our Brethren are , he would have proved that Simon called Simon Magus was at Rome once , ( welfare all good tokens he brake his neck there ) but as concerning Simon Peter , many wise men will never beleeve that , he was there , though the Papists say to the contrary and with Tooth and Nayle defend their furious asseverations . Also he would have proved Pope Ione to have been both literally and mystically the Arrant whore of Babylon . It is devoutly acknowledged that we have had many Worthy and zealous Brethren that have stifly stood for the cause , ( as the Sisters can testifie if they please ) as namely the reverend Mr. How the Cobler , The most industrious Mr. Walker the Ironmonger , the zealous Mr. Greene the Felt-maker , the painefull Mr. Spencer the Stablegroome , the pavior of Monmouth , the Sowgelder of Wallingford , the Barber and Baker of Abingdon , and many hundreds more of true religious Millers Weavers , I had almost for got Taylors , but that one Mr. Squire , a Gentleman of that function at Roderhith beinga double yarded man , because he hath two , but neither of them London measure , he is a mighty painestaker for us all in the true w●y of rayling downe Learning , wit , order and decency , what though he faile now and then in stretching silver lace on a petticoate , that he can frugally save out of 4. yards compasse one yard ; I say a Taylor may stretch lace and conscience , and his bill too , but all is one for that , he is a true zelot & so forth , but though these have the honour to be named in our catalogue of remembrance , yet one of our chiefe props and pillers , is ingratefully forgotten , he being a man of such a vast merit , that it is a shame hee should be buried alive ( in his fame I meane ) the first letter of his name is a Brewers Clarke , he is a man that hath more in him then all the world is worthy to see or know , he hath some pith or weight in him & had he but couragiously attempted the downfall of the Babell Crosse in Cheapeside , if he had been but valiantly seconded hee would would have laid it levell with the pavement , for he feares not the Hangman , and is able to keepe a Quarter as big as halfe a yeare with any man . But I am afraid that our cake is but dough bak'd , ( though our zeale was warme enough to heate the Oven as hot as a furnace ) for we are crost , and the Crosse stands to baffle and brave us , and further an unhappy pated fellow did lately write these following Verses , in the behalfe of the Crosse , & disgrace of us . Verses upon the defacing of Cheapeside Crosse , with the Pictures of Christ and Saint Peter . HOw ? steale the leade from Cheapeside-crosse ( O base ) I 'le take my oath on 't 't is a hoavy case : Some say the Devill did it , and I graunt The Devill is a mighty Puritant . He never could endure the Crosse because Man ( on the Crosse ) was ransomd from his claws ; But whosoe're 't was , Brownist , Punk or Pimp : If not the Devill , 't was the Devils Impe , What e're he may pretend , he is a Grosse Damb'd Iew , that tortures Christ upon the Crosse ? I wonder why the watchmen did not scare Vm , Sure 't was some sleeping watch that lackt a larum And so St. Peter ( whom our Saviour chose ) One of his twelve Apostles , had his Nose , And both his Armes knockt of , were was the Cock That did not wake S. Peter at that knock ? Christ made him an Apostle , now who can Without his Arms make him 〈…〉 Some Crop-eare did it in revenge I feare , Because St. Peter cut off Malchus eare . What did the babe , what did our Lady do ? Poore Innocents alas , they fuffered too . This shews the Devils brood , like th'Irish wild , Will spare no man or woman , maid or child : Now my opinion of the crosse is this , It is amisse to such as make 't amisse . To such as reverence it , or adore it , Or say their prayers to it , or before it . Such do pervert it from its proper use , And turn an Ornament to an abuse . Turks , Infidels , Moores , Pagans , Heathen , Iewes , They know not Christ , therefore no Crosses use . And no true Christian justly can repine , To let a Crosse stand as a Christian signe . Knaves may deface it , fooles may worship it , All which may be for want of grace or wit , To those that wrongd the Crosse this is my curse , They never may have crosses in their purse . And thus Brethren you may perceive and see , how these Iigmaking jeering Poets , doe with their pestiferous Rimes ( or Verses ) support and prop up that Golden-Leaden nest of Idols and Images , but for a conclusion , if I cannot have it overthrowne , demolished , cast downe , raced , confounded , overturned , defaced , delapidated , distroyed , laid waste , ruinated , subverted , or call it what you will , ( so it bee taken away ) and the lead melted into bullets to kill Irish Rebels ; I say if I cannot have it so , I will wish it so , and there is an end before Finis . FINIS . 
A64170	----	Grand plvtoes remonstrance, or, The devill horn-mad at Roundheads and Brownists wherein His hellish Maiestie, by advice of his great counsell, Eacus, Minos & Radamanthus, with his beloved brethren, agdistis, beliall, incubus & succubus : is pleased to declare 1. how far he differs from round-head, rattle-head or prickeare : 2. his copulation with a Holy Sister : 3. his decre affection to Romish Catholikes and hate to Protestants : 4. his oration to the rebells. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64170 of text R13522 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T463). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 7 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 4 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64170 Wing T463 ESTC R13522 12594113 ocm 12594113 64007 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64170) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 64007) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 250:E138, no 11) Grand plvtoes remonstrance, or, The devill horn-mad at Roundheads and Brownists wherein His hellish Maiestie, by advice of his great counsell, Eacus, Minos & Radamanthus, with his beloved brethren, agdistis, beliall, incubus & succubus : is pleased to declare 1. how far he differs from round-head, rattle-head or prickeare : 2. his copulation with a Holy Sister : 3. his decre affection to Romish Catholikes and hate to Protestants : 4. his oration to the rebells. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. Brathwaite, Richard, 1588?-1673. [7] p. Printed for the Callacuchlania, [London] : 1642. Signed at end: Don Antonio Demanibus, secretary to His Infernall Majesty. Attributed to Richard Braithwaite in the Wrenn catalogue. Attributed to John Taylor by Wing. Illustrated t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Roundheads. Brownists. A64170 R13522 (Wing T463). civilwar no Grand Plutoes remonstrance, or, The Devill horn-mad at Roundheads and Brownists. Wherein his Hellish Maiestie (by advice of his great counse [no entry] 1642 1233 2 0 0 0 0 0 16 C The rate of 16 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2003-02 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2003-03 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-05 Jonathan Blaney Sampled and proofread 2003-05 Jonathan Blaney Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-06 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion GRAND PLVTOES Remonstrance , OR , The Devill Horn-mad at Roundheads and Brownists . Wherein his Hellish Maiestie ( by advice of his great Counsell , Eacus , Minos & Radamanthus , with his beloved Brethren , Agdistis , Beliall , Incubus & Succubus ) is pleased to declare , 1. How far he differs from Round-head , Rattle-head , or Prick-eare . 2. His Copulation with a Holy Sister . 3. His deere affection to Romish Catholikes , and hate to Protestants . 4. His Oration to the Rebells . Printed for the 〈◊〉 , in the yeere 1643. Plutos Remonstrance , OR , The Devill Horn-mad at Round-heads and Brownists . I Grand PLVTO , Chiefe Metropolitan in my Demoniack Kingdome , have by the advice of my Infernall Counsell , thought fit to publish this my Devilish Declaration , to all my welbeleved children , as well Brownists as Papists . His Professed hate to the Round-Heads . 1. THat whereas his Hellish Maiestie hath by some of his ill-affected and factious Children , been termed Round-head or Brownist , as being converted by the moving spirit of a Regenerate Sister , and begetting of her a numerous issue of Round-heads , Prick-eares , Brownists , &c. We therefore fearing that the said scandall might prove very dangerous to our infernall Government , by the great disheartning of our obedient and well-affected chilldren the Romish Catholikes , in their plots and practises against their lawfull Soveraigne , hath thought fit to declare , that hee never sided with , or tempted any the said Brownists in any designe against his dearest Children the Catholikes , their Church or Ceremonies , but that it hath ever been our greatest care to animate both Brownist as well as Papist against our own and your common enemy the Protestants , their Church , King , and Parliament , which is likely to prove the overthrow of me and my infernall Kingdome . His Copulation with a Holy Sister . 2. That whereas our infernall Maiestie hath been thought to have had carnall copulation with one Ruth Incontinence , a Sister in the Family , be it knowne to our deere children the Romanists , that though we have wished well to the said Sister Incontinence , and have bestowed on her some gifts of our Diabolicall spirit , yet had no intention to violate our vow made to our deer Spouse Superstition dwelling in Blind-devotion , in the parish of Ignorance , in the Kingdome of Popery , of whom We have begotten many obedient Children to effect our great designe for Ireland , and are in further hope , by her yet unperfect issue , to worke some way or plot for the confusion of this present Parliament , to which end wee have presented her with many tokens of our great love and favour , viz. One of the Blessed Virgins slippers , and many Images of her Son , likewise an Agnus Dei , made of Virgins wax , that by vertue of our Diabolicall Coniurations , hath power to preserve from fire water , sicknesse , and the deliverance from numberlesse perills , likewise many bookes of Ave-Maries , Imprecations and prayers to Saints , also one book fairely gilt , with Crucifixes on the lids , wherein is contained the Price that his Holinesse hath set on all sinne whatsoever , murder of Kings , father or mother , Rapes committed on sister , &c. wherunto is annexed a most excellent Epitaph wiritten by a Most Reverend Cardinall , and great Champion for the Romish Church , on his most deerly beloved Bitch , for whose sake , he built a new monument in his garden , on which he writ as followeth , This Tombe for thee Deere Bitch I builded have , That worthier wert of Heaven then of a grave . And for the further good of our Deere Sister Superstition , wee have spared no paines to inspire with our Diabolicall spirit of obstinacie and error , all manner of Brownists , Anabaptists , and many other Sects , which shall the more illustrate your Religion , deere Romanists , and that you all drawing several wayes , may ▪ like Sampsons Foxes , fire the Corn-fields , or Church of our common enemie the Protestants . His affection and care for his best-beloved sonnes the Romish Catholikes . 3. Wherereas wee have expressed our deere affection to our Catholike Children , in tempting the said Round-heads and Rattle-heads to reproach and vilifie the Sacred Person of their Lawfull King , and his Ministers of Iustice , and to speak all manner of Opprobious language against the Prophets of the Highest , nay even to glory in their falls , and pu●t them up with sulphurous Timpanies of preposterous zeale and mallice ; so that one of my dear daughters dwelling in Sobeit , at hearing of the Bishops commitment to the Tower , presently caused a Bonfire to be made , wherein she express'd her great ioy at their fall , and fired the same by her owne hot zeal , and afterward affirmed that her Kitchin was more holy then the Church , because she had a sinke in 't . And is not this deere Romanists worth my labour , in tempting them to what my naturall-born-Son the Turk doth scorn ; to iustifie your own Rebellious plots or Treasons whatsoever , have not I made them make Orthodox Scripture Apocrypha , to make your Apocrypha Orthodox ; say my deere Popelings , do's not all this make for you , and to the furtherance of you and your actions , have not I made their Common - Service almost as odious as your Masse-book , and for their Church , ready to be flung out at the windowes . His Oration to the Rebells in Ireland . 4. Lastly , my deere sonnes of Tumult , have I been unmindfull to bear the Crosse in your victorious Army , under which you have atchieved victory , to the amazemement of your enemies the Protestants , in recompense of which favor , have you not drank healths to my Infernall Maiestie in the blood of your enemies , making their sculls your quaffing-bowls , to the glory of your religion , and the freeing of many souls out of Purgatory ; hath not his Holinesse given you authority so to doe . Then take courage , and think not on those that have miscarried in such glorious Actions , let no reward of Treason trouble you , so long as his Holinesse bids you on , and I your chiefe Captain bid you on ; On then , regard no teares of Infants , nor Rapes of Virgins , Your reward shall be in my infernall Kingdom for your iust Merits in unheard of Cruelties , which shall eternize you and your Religion , and give full content to our infernall Maiestie , who to your aide will send Legions of his Infernall crew to accomplish your desires on your & my enemies the Protestants . VALE , Signed by Don Antonio Demonibus , Secretary to his Infernall Majestie FINIS . 
A64171	----	Heads of all fashions being a plain defection or definition of diverse and sundry sorts of heads, butting, jetting or pointing at vulgar opinion : and allegorically shewing the diversities of religion in these distempered times : now very lately written, since calves-heads came in season. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64171 of text R18587 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T464). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 15 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64171 Wing T464 ESTC R18587 12602956 ocm 12602956 64208 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64171) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 64208) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 251:E145, no 17) Heads of all fashions being a plain defection or definition of diverse and sundry sorts of heads, butting, jetting or pointing at vulgar opinion : and allegorically shewing the diversities of religion in these distempered times : now very lately written, since calves-heads came in season. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 8 p. Printed for Iohn Morgan ..., London : 1642. In verse. Illustrated t.p. Attributed to John Taylor. cf. NUC, pre-1956. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Great Britain -- Religion -- 17th century. A64171 R18587 (Wing T464). civilwar no Heads of all fashions, being, a plain desection or definition of diverse, and sundry sorts of heads, butting, jetting, or pointing at vulgar Taylor, John 1642 2514 6 0 0 0 0 0 24 C The rate of 24 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-06 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2002-08 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Heads of all Fashions , Being , A Plaine Desection or Definition of diverse , and sundry sorts of heads , Butting , Jetting , or pointing at vulgar opinion . And Allegorically shewing the Diversities of Religion in these distempered times . Now very lately written , since Calves-Heads came in Season . London Printed for Iohn Morgan , to be sold in the Old-baily . 1642. The Contents . 1. A Round-head , both at randome and couched . 2. A Square head . 3. A Solid head . 4. An Empty head . 5. An Hollow-head . 6. A Full head . 7. A Deepe head . 8. A Great head . 9. A little head . 10. A long head . 11. A short head . 12. A Tall head . 13. A Flat head . 14. A Strong head . 15. A weake head . 16. A Thicke head . 17. A Thine head . 18. A Plaine head . 19. A Forked head . 20. A Smooth head . 21. A Rugged head . 22. A Logger head . 23. A Narrow head . 24. A Broad head . 25. A Blocke head . 26. A Light head . 27. A Heavy head with some other whole and halfe heads . To the gentle Reader , DIstracted fame throughout the world so spreads , That monster-like , she now hath many heads , A man can goe to no place , but shall heare Things that may make him hope , and make him feare : But I doe hope , and hope I will doe still , All shall be well in spite of little Will , Or any of his Crew , farre off or neare , Whose practices doe every day appeare Still more and more , the Lord sees how they deale , And doth their Plots and Projects all reveale : Each City and each Towne , yea every village , Can fill us now with newes , we need not pillage . Tom Long and 's men , rare tydings will relate , Some of high Powr's and Peeres , some of the State , Some of Religion , or Church Discipline , Some of this Bishop , some of that Divine ; Some of a Knot of villaines late found out , Heav'ns mend or end that base conspiring rout . Some brings us newes from Ireland , false or true , How ever all is calld both true and new , Within one day a man may undertake Briefe notes or thousands severall things to make , It he writes halfe what he shall heare or see , Newes-mongers now have such varietie , That let them make reports , till tyr'd or dumbe , Their last newes scarce is told , but newes is come To wait their next attendance to be spread , By this meanes fame hath got a monsters head , Yea many heads , whereof I found a few , And here have laid them open to thy view , Peruse them all , in earnest or in jest , And tell me which amongst them is the best . If Round-head should be found the best to be , Farewell all other heads , Round-head for me . But gentle Reader , give me thy good word , And then I care not what Round-heads afford . Thine without hypocrisie . I. M. A Round-head at randome . VVHen as the worlds foundation first was laid , A Round-head was the first head that was made , Adams head and Eves head were both as one , So all , each following Generation . That since the time of Adam hath ensu'd , Hath formed beene to that similitude , All Nations farre or neare , ere knowne or found , Like English men have had their heads still round , Why then should any at Rounds-heads admire ? Since all from Adam come our Great-grand-sire ? To answer this : these times are full of Gall , And there 's no head , no man that can please all . But as this head is understood of late , Some hold it scarce a friend toth' King and State . And some suppose it , whereso er'e it lurch , To be a great disturber of the Church I can say nothing , but as people say , One might this Round-head otherwise display , And if you le have't more couched , more concisely , More punctuall , more briefly , and precisely . Then thus ; 1 A Round-head is a man whose braines compact , Whose Verilies and Trulies are an Act Infallible , beyond the vaine compare Of or●●nary men , what ere they are . This head , though sometimes owned by a widgion , Can make new moulds to shape a strange Religion . 2 A Square-head is exact in many rules , Knowes Horses , Asses , very well from Mules , He is in Aglebra , and Musicke skil'd , His braine-pans with a thousand crotchets fil'd ; And yet of late as I have heard some say , He cant endure to heare the Organs play . 3 A Solid-head is one whose every part , Is furnished with nature and with Art , Hath all the faire endowments can be given By the auspicious Stars or powers of Heaven : If this head be well guarded with Gods grace , T it fit for Church or State , or any place . 5 An Empty-head hath still a shallow braine , yet good enough to beare a Bishops Traine , For that 's now fallen full low , ev'n to the ground , Old Canterburies pride hath pul'd all downe : That little VVill , together with the VVren , Hath pluckt the Pope almost from out his den . 4 An Hollow-head is one that is concave , Joyn'd to an hollow-heart makes up a Knave , This Hollow-head comes neere the empty Pate , Good wit doth seldome enter in thereat . He that the name of Hypocrite knowes well , This Hollow-head or Hollow-heart may spell . 6 A Full-head is full fraught with braines or guts , Whose teeth are found , can cracke the hardest nuts , His grinders are at best , his eares and eyes Are firme and good , free from infirmities : His nose is perfect , pure , and he can tell Which men are knaves , which honest by the smell . 7 A Deepe-head ●ead hath an apprehensive braine , Dives far into the plots of Pope and Spaine , If well affected to the King and State . And to the Gospell , who can blame this pate ? Yet there are many now which nere knew Schooles Would raise up selfe-conceit , make wise men fooles . 8 A Great-head may containe a world of wit , For there is roome enough to harbour it , Some mighty-headed pleaders I have knowne , And yet their Great-heads little Law have showne : But what talke I of heads ? it is the braine Enables them there cases to explaine . 9 A Little-head ( if not with madnesse gored ) May with much wit enriched be , and stored , And then if well inclin'd towards God and King , How many great things may this small head bring : But ill disposed ( as many such there be ) It brings the body to disgrace wee see . 10 A Long-head cannot weare a little cap , The forehead is so distant from the nap , This head hath many whimsies in the Braine , Yet wonders much at Rome , at France , and Spaine . These many plots have wrought against our Land , But this Long-head hopes they shall nere long stand . 11 A Short-head hath a kind of Brittle wit , Can understand and breake Jests for a fit , His Pericranium being thin and tender . It followeth his Inge●●e must needs be slender : He is not strong enough to be a Baker , Yet he may serve to be a Comfit-maker . 12 A Tall-head like a Pyramide or Steeple , Ore tops the common sort of vulgar people , T is often on a Pimps broad shoulders placed , And thinks it selfe with bushy locks much graced . This head is mounted up so in the Aire , That there can nothing grow ( I feare ) but haire . 13 A Flat-head is not puffed up with fat , But yet it is a downe-right head that 's flat , It hath no braines strange projects to devise , Nor will be drawne aside by Toyes or lyes : It wants a bulke for mischieves there to swarme , It doth small good , and it doth little harme . 14 A Strong-head though it be not made of brasse , Remembreth every thing that comes to passe Within the reach of 's eye , his eare or knowledge , His Skull for skill , and strength may be a colledge If he had beene a Fencer by his fate He would have scorn'd to feare a broken pate . 15 A Weake-head may ingenuous be and witty , Adorn'd with sundry graces , but t is pitty , The frailty of this head doth now and than Make him forgoe the best parts of a man : Bacchus into his braines may sometimes steale And rob his senses of their common-weale . 16 A Thicke-head is an head consolidated Quite opposite , unto the hollow pated , The Frontispice it had from Taurus browes , More thicke and wrinkled far then any Cowes . This head is so substantiall , that a man May count it for an Oxe head now and than . 17 A Thin-head be it empty , be it full , T is but composed of a Paper skull , The eyes are hallow and the cheekes are thin , The jaw-bones threaten to run through the skin : This head if you the face doe well examine , Like Pharoahs seven leane Kine , protends a famine . 18 A plaine-head is a plaine well-meaning head , Who as he thinkes no harme , no hurt doth dread , So quickly may be gul'd , for honest men Are often cheated every now and then : This head is often free unto its friend , Yet many times t is cozen'd in the end . 19 A Forked-head ( if you the same could uote ) Is like the head of any Bull or Goate , Yet some affirme that most men of this kind Doe weare their hornes ( Ram-like ) reverst behind : Heads of this sort in and about the City There are a multitude , the more 's the pitty . 20 A Smooth-head is his Daddies dainty boy , His mother cals him still her onely joy , His amiable coantenance is clad With many seeming vertues ; nothing bad : This Smooth-head hath an oylely tongue likewise , Can sooth , and gloze , and monstrous things devise , 21 A Rugged-head is like a craggie mountaine , Whence churlishnesse proceeds as from a fountaine , This rugged , crooked , crabbed , ill made mazzard Is obstinate , cares not for any hazzard . A world of follies this head liveth in , But yet presumption is his greatest sin . 22 A Loger-head alone cannot well be , At Scriveners windowes many times hangs three A Country Lobcocke , as I once did heare , Upon a Pen-man put a grievous jeare ; If I had beene in place , as this man was , I should have calld that Country-Coxecombe Asse . 23 A Narrow head is one whose braines are couched , Into a little roome , may not be touched , With any Beere or Ale , or Wine , or Water , For then his wits forthwith abroad will scatter , He is a silly simple , puling foole , Knowes not the name of Learning , nor a Schole . 24 A Broade head ( if on broader shoulders placed ) Thinkes not himselfe by any jeares disgraced , Scoffe , scorne , and flout him , so you picks not's Purse , This head conceiveth he is nere the worse , It were a sin to call him Cuckold thoe , Because he doth beleeve he is not soe . 25 A Blocke-head ( to make his assertion good ) Is not so calld , because 't is made of wood , This head consisteth not of many parts , Nor is it capable to learne the Arts , Yet give me leave , now I doe all things scan , This head in time may serve an honest man . 26 A light head is full fraughgt with pleasant Ayre , Thinks well of every one thats speaks him faire , Hee 's given to leaping , much , and much to dauncing , Curverting , jumping , vaulting and prauncing , This nimble head whose father was no ●umbler . May make a Dancer on the ropes , or Tumbler . 27 A Heavy head is naught for complement , So full it is of griefe and discontent , The pensive thoughts that this head doth conceive , May make the best man all his meat to leave , He that is full of trouble , paine and sorrow , May see his dinner drest , but eate to morrow . The Conclusion . A world of heads more I could name to you , An Hogs head , Pigs head , and a Calves head too , A Jowle of Salmon too , is halfe a head , Which any man may well disgest with bread , And next unto this Jowle of Salmon fish , A Swines● Cheek is esteem'd an ex'lent dish : An Oxe cheek likewise is a dish of meat Which many an old , yonger , wived man may eate . These heads and halfe-heads all are known for food , And I doe hold them to be very good : There also is a Sheeps head and an Asses , But this last head most of the rest surpasses , For this in time by friends and loves increase , May be chiefe Clarke t'a Justice of Peace . But stay rash Muse , why dost thou so farre flie , Thou must not me●●le with Authoritie . FINIS . 
A64172	----	The hellish Parliament being a counter-Parliament to this in England, containing the demonstrative speeches and statutes of that court together with the perfect league made between the two hellish factions the papists and the Brownists. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64172 of text R6305 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T465). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 9 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64172 Wing T465 ESTC R6305 12800055 ocm 12800055 94036 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64172) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 94036) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 255:E168, no 6) The hellish Parliament being a counter-Parliament to this in England, containing the demonstrative speeches and statutes of that court together with the perfect league made between the two hellish factions the papists and the Brownists. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 6 p. s.n.] [London? : 1641. Attributed to John Taylor. Cf. BM. Illustrated t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng England and Wales. -- Parliament. Great Britain -- History -- Charles I, 1625-1649 -- Sources. A64172 R6305 (Wing T465). civilwar no The hellish Parliament being a counter-Parliament to this in England, containing the demonstrative speeches and statutes of that court. Toge Taylor, John 1641 1473 3 0 0 0 0 0 20 C The rate of 20 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-09 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-11 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-11 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE HELLISH PARLIAMENT Being a COUNTER-PARLIAMENT To this in England , containing the Demonstrative Speeches and Statutes of that Court . Together with the perfect league made between the two hellish Factions the Papists and the Brownists . Printed in the yeare , 1641. The hellish Parliament . HIs infernall Majesty taking into his hellish consideration the great happinesse that now is towards England , and searing that his deare Children , as well those of the Romish faction , as of the Brownists Sect should have a terrible fall and their erroneous and seditious practises should be laid open : Hee resolved ( if possible he could , to trouble the felicious proceedings of the Parliament , and to that end having long consulted with the subtle Iudges of his infernall Empire , hee purposed to summon a counter Parliament against that in England , and gave order that the most prudent politicke and impious Sectaries within the bound of his dominions should bee assembled to debate propound , and propound , concerning divers important and very weightie ●ffaires . His minde was quickly fulfilled in such a manner that hee was overjoyed to see such a 〈…〉 rable company of his very diligentest ser●ants of each faction : Therefore his infernalship to make it appeare how much he pleas'd therewithall bestowed on them a speech in this ungracious manner . Most dearely beloved and adopted Children , it is not unknowne to your hellish ucderstandings what great Thunder-claps have falne upon our right trusty and wel-beloved servants the Papists in England , by that wonder-working Parliament now assembled , I give you now also to understand , that if there be not some speedy course taken , all will be lost ; for as soon as they have done with our deare Servants the Papists , they will begin with our best beloved sonnes the Brownists . Therefore ( as it ever hath beene ) so now such is our infernall care of the encrease of our servants , we have assembled this sinfull Synod : Rub therefore your hellish invention , and couragiously worke , striving who shall be forwardest to our ( I feare ) declining Empire . Let me heare your counsels , and I promise in all your endeavors you shal have my utmost assistance . Then was there a great Hubbub betweene the Papists and Brownists , concerning precedencie of speech ( indeed both are wicked great bawlers ) The Papists being the elder Faction , thought of right , prioritie of speech belonged to them . But though the Brownists were the younger Sir Iohns , they were his Infernalships Nursle , most resembling him their Father , and his most dearely beloved ; therefore they thought they should speake first , yet at last , after much squabling they yeelded . Then silence being commanded , Guy Faulks was chose Speaker for the Papists , and after low obeysance made , he thus began ; Most Infernall Emperour , We your obedient sonnes and servants the English Romanists are here prostrate before you , and as dutifull servants doe all accord to doe you nocturnall and diurnall service . But ( Great Emperour ) we cannot choose but lament , when we remember the disastrous chances that have falne upon our forward intentions . You may remember with what Heroicke stomackes we have complotted for the enlargement of your infernal Empire , as in that fat all yeare , 1588. when with such large summes we negotiated abroad , and at home endeavoured to conquer , for you , that same little angle of the world , England . And in that Memorable yeere , 1605. when we had hatcht such a Giganticke Stratagem , that our Bird was almost ready to breake the shell . And now in 1639. when we had made a breach between the English and Scottish Nations , a more hellish Stratagem then which could not be invented . Behold then with a serious eye , the grand enterprise of your deare children the Romish Faction . And ( profound Emperour ) doubt not , but as we have heretofore , so we will stirre up all forrain power now at this last cast against the English Parliament , and if that faile , Flectere si nequeo superos Acheronta movebo . Thus ended bold Guy Faulks , and for the Brownists , who d'ye thinke was chose ? Samuel How , the most famous and renowned Cobler , who thus began after he had hum'd his hoarse voyce up . Dreadfull Emperour , Your most zealously affected children the Society of Separatists or non-conformists alias Brownists most humble in al reverend & devoted posture , attend your service , and in the name of the whole dispersed tribe , I your zealous child and clyent , doe pronounce the ardent heat that burns in all our brests to effect your perpetrations , and whereas Guy Fauks hath extolled with a wide mouth the endevors of the Romish Faction , as if we ne'r could paralell them , verily ( most Potent Patron we have exceeded them many wayes ; for the Brownists ( so trimly and slily ) have given such rubs and flaves to your enemies reputations , that ( I thinke verily ) they 'l never recover themselves of the wounds that we have given them . True it is being backt with forraine Princes , they have undertook great endeavours , but never to any perfection . But we have not feared ( alas unarmed ) to outcry all danger , with what zeale have delivered your commands my selfe in the Nags-head Taverne neer Colemanstreet , some in the fields , some in Country villages , every one some-where : Had we been furnished with forraine ayde , wee could have done more then ever they would have done . But what neede wee desire other power , since your infernall Majesty doth so stiffely maintaine us . And we will requite your love , and will as we use to doe , in the same slye and slanderous and lying way forge and print any Libels and untruths for the furtherance of your ignoble Empire , and had wee armes to fight withall , wee would sprightfully and spitefully use them . After which arose a second fray betweene either Faction , that their Parliament house had like to afire , so hot were they at it , and Pluto thought verily that hell would have broke loose , but Cerberus hath proclaimed silence ; Pluto with sterne and angy looke thus spake ; What meanes this noise , what meanes these angry threatnings ? such lookes ye ought to shew mine enemies ; this is not the way to inlarge , but destroy my Empire ; Contention overthrowes the greatest States ; therefore brethren-like ioyne hands against the common foe . You see how the Parliament of England shakes us so much , that if you doe not bestir your selves we shall be quite undone , then they all imbraced mutually ; So , this is well done , hence goodwill doubly redound to us and our , which is your Kingdome . Then they craved instructions which they said should be as absolute Statutes of that their most hellish Parliament ; to which Pluto most ioyfully accorded . Then Rhadamanthus presented their hellish worships with these Acts following ; 1. That there be a strong and perfect league of friendship betwixt his infernall maiesties servants the Papists and Brownists . 2. That they should crosse , as much as in them lay , all good proceedings of the English Parliament . 3. That the Papists should excite forraine Potentates against the said Kingdome . 4. That the Brownists should strow all libels about , especially such as tend to the disgrace of learning , his infernalship being an utter enemy to all sound literature . 5. That the Brownists beare up , relieve , and mainetaine all contrivers of such libels , such as KNAVE REVILER HELL . 6. That Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet be declared an open enemy to his Infernalship and both the Factions . THus wicked Satan hath a double way , To worke his ends to hinder his decay , His Agents are so many and so wicked bent , They care not for the truth so they 'r not shent If that the Lions skin will doe no good , They 'l soone put on the cunning Foxes hood , England repent , and for this Parliament pray , Sith th'Devill strives to hurt thee every way . FINIS . 
A64173	----	An honest ansvver to the late published apologie for private preaching wherein is justly refuted their mad forms of doctrine, as, preaching in a tub, teaching against the backe of a chaire, instructing at a tables end, revealing in a basket, exhorting over a buttery hatch, reforming on a bed side : with an objection to their common plea of divine inspiration, directly, without passion, proving there is but nice distinction betwixt the brownists and papists who have bin equall disturbers of the state yet in continuall controversie one against the other : with an argument against Round-heads / by T. J. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64173 of text R21874 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T467). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 12 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64173 Wing T467 ESTC R21874 12684266 ocm 12684266 65728 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64173) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 65728) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 252:E154, no 7) An honest ansvver to the late published apologie for private preaching wherein is justly refuted their mad forms of doctrine, as, preaching in a tub, teaching against the backe of a chaire, instructing at a tables end, revealing in a basket, exhorting over a buttery hatch, reforming on a bed side : with an objection to their common plea of divine inspiration, directly, without passion, proving there is but nice distinction betwixt the brownists and papists who have bin equall disturbers of the state yet in continuall controversie one against the other : with an argument against Round-heads / by T. J. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [8] p. ... Printed for R. Wood, T. Wilson, and E. Christopher, [London] : July 7 [1642] Attributed to John Taylor. Cf. BM. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Taylor, John, 1580-1653. -- Apology for private preaching. Roundheads. Dissenters, Religious -- England. A64173 R21874 (Wing T467). civilwar no An honest ansvver to the late published apologie for private preaching. Wherein, is justly refuted their mad forms of doctrine: (as.) preach Taylor, John 1642 2182 3 0 0 0 0 0 14 C The rate of 14 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-06 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-08 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion AN HONEST ANSWER TO THE LATE PUBLISHED APOLOGIE FOR PRIVATE PREACHING . WHEREIN , Is justly refuted their mad Forms of Doctrine : ( As. ) Preaching in a Tub. Teaching against the backe of a Chaire . Instructing at a Tables end . Revealing in a Basket . Exhorting over a Buttery Hatch . Reforming on a Bed side . With an Objection to their Common plea of Divine Inspiration , directly ( without passion ) proving there is but nice distinction betwixt the Brownists and Papists , who have bin equall Disturbers of the State yet in continuall Controversie one against the other . With an Argument against Round Heads . LEVIT. Chap. 19 , verse 27. Thou shalt not Round the Corners of thy Head , neither shalt thou marr● the Tufts of thy Beard . By T. J. July . 7. Printed for R. Wood , T. Wilson , and E. Christopher . An Honest Answer to the late published Apologie for private Preaching . TO you whose ambition ( not conformity ) aimes to be the Elect ) I write this Answer to your late printed Apology ; with the confidence of Democritus I can as justly laugh at you , as hee did at the egregious crimes of the Athenians , and ( since you have with serious folly and devout ignorance ) made your selves ridiculous , I hold it altogether unnecessary to write or speake of you but in the way of Mirth , which if your large eares will attend , you shall have so to the purpose , that if you were wise enough , you should laugh at your selves , at least at your follies . I commend your wisdome in forsaking Churches , for ( as you have wisely chose it ) a stable is fitter for you ; and ( to speake truth ) a Tub is more necessary for a Cobler then a Pulpit , thus farre I hold with your Apologie ; but , notwithstanding , if I prove you not all Mad men and Fooles , to maintaine the Proverbe , I will give you leave to ride me ; the wisest man thinkes hee hath no knowledge , because there is so much to know : there were some hope of your Reformation , if you were but wise enough to know you are fooles : First , I will prove you Mad men ; I shall make Fooles of you hereafter : ( and that you 'l say is impossible . ) in the first place ( according to my observation of the times ; let a fellow come amongst you with some humourous Pamphlet , wherein Round-heads are mentioned , though there be neither Name nor Trade specified , nor no mans private Reputation wrong'd , without Law or Reason by a crew of men he knowes not , he must be beaten or kicked ( as the spirit moves you ) from the place ; and if such unlawfull violence have any relation to Religion I am an Heretick , all actions that tend to the maintenance of true piety are performed by Order ; the Elements observe their Centers ; the Sunne , Moon , and Starres keepe their direct motions , ( Creatures onely by Nature instructed ) but Zeale in a Round-head is like fire given to a Granado , the strange Materials in disordered Flight , hazzard both Friend and Foe . Your desires and hopefull intentions to alter the Government of this glorious Kingdome , with the Lawes and Liberties of King and Subject , long since begun , advanced , confirmed and established by many pious Princes , will appeare like some curious and transcendent well erected Pallace , whom ignorance would race in hope to raise it better ; but beware lest whilst you are delving in the Foundation , the loftie Structure fall not heavie on you ; To you and none but you , whose unhallowed throats have belch'd profanenesse to the Lords Anointed doe I direct this language ; to you that are uncircumscribed men , yet would confine a Monarch ; what Order Rule , Edict , or Act of Parliament had you for your tumultuous Confluence at Westminster ? when men of all sorts and sizes that bore disorder in their expedition in a confused March were arm'd with hasty weapons of such various formes , as if they had newly come from the valiant Robbery of some old Magazine ? when as I passed by them muffled in my Cloake unarmed ( fearing no danger , cause I meant none ) I heard them aske each other , whether or to what purpose they were going , which question could scarce be resolved by one amongst ten ; what was all this but madnesse , and what hath the effect of it beene but desolation ever since to all his Majesties loyall and filiall fearing Subjects ? But I am too serious ; I have spoke so honestly , that I feare you understand me not : I shall now begin to refute your Apologie . Must knowing wel-bred men whose sacred houres have beene spent with much industry in the search of Holy Fathers for their Comments on the Old and New Testament , be now ( by ridiculous counsaile ) brought to heare the Doctrine of an inspired Cobler , because he is reported to be at the mending hand , and brings his worke to good ends : or a Weaver , becaus Mans life is compared to a Shuttle ; or a Tallow-chandler , because our lives goe out like a snuffe . Then againe , is there no difference betwixt Churches and Tavernes , Ale-houses , private Chambers , Stables , and such like places , is the Church lesse sacred , which is made odoriferous with the perfume of Prayer and penitentiall balme of Sinners teares , accepted Sighs and Sacramentall Vowes ; when our Saviour said , My House is called the House of Prayer , but you have made it a den of Theeves : Hee spoke neither of a Taverne , nor an Ale-house , but a Temple , consecrate to his Divinitie : What a ridiculous thing is it to see a Fellow with a starcht face scrue his body into twenty postures , sitting in a Tub , as if hee were moulding of Cockle-bread , yet is as zealous in this serious folly , as if hee thought he should goe quick to Heaven in Elishaes Chariot ; but let me tell you that know not , this word Zeale doth not signifie Religion , but an Ardencie to any thing ; I remember two Lines of my old Friend , Mr. Tho. Randolph , who sayes thus in a well-penn'd Poem of his : — where Heresie gets in , Zeale's but a coale to kindle greater Sinne . Such Zeale is theirs , I 'le not beleeve every man that dyes in the confirmation of his profession departeth truly Religious , because I see men daily more violent in the maintenance of unjust actions , then men Religious , whose patience is sufficient Fortitude , and can gaine a conquest without fury . I will now answer their plea of Divine Inspiration . They manifest to the world , that any Lay-man may be inspired by the Holy Ghost to Preach and Teach , and no man must be this Sanctified Temple but a Trades-man ; they hold it almost impossible for a Scholler , indued with Coelestiall Knowledge , acquainted with the sacred lives of Saints , delivered to him by the pretious benefit of Study , in which the Arts assist him , to have the Endowment of this Divine Inspiration , yet they are sure on 't , that they dare judge and justifie ; which rather shewes them fill'd with spirits diabolicall ; since the sacred hand of the Eternall Maker hath rrevocably set downe , Iudge not lest you be judged ; Let any honest man inform me what affinity there is with Divine Inspiration and these following Actions : Iames 2. 18. Shew mee thy Faith by thy workes , Libelling against the King and his Authority . Defacing Churches . Disturbing Divine Service . Making the House of God a place for Ri●● . Laying violent hands on Preachers , and taring off their Vestments . Profaning the blessed Sacrament of Baptisme , by bringing Puppets to the Font to be Christened . With many great ills more , too tedious to relate , because to grievous too hear ; if any man wil maintain these to be righteous actions , my reason is in a laborinth , and I shall be engaged to him for any light to lead me out of it . Now I shall as well and as briefly as I can shew you the nice distinction between a Papist and a Brownist . 1. Neither of them will take the Oath of Allegeance and Supremacy , there methinks they might agree like Traytors , and hang together . 2. They have both the trick of wresting Scripture to their own use . 3. A Fryar is cut as Round as a Round-head , and hath as much Souse at each side of it . 4. If the Papist set up the picturcs of S. Augustine , S. Bernard , S. Chrisostome . The Brownists wil set up St. B. St. Ba. St. P. Marry he will not come to auricular confession , as the Papist doth ; because of an old proverb , confesse , &c. I would the Land were clear of both , we might live all in peace , and in the true fear and worship of God , and observation of the Kings lawes ; for to speak indifferently , they are equall Disturbers of the state , and a great injury to the weak and ignorant who are so distracted betwixt them both , they know not which side to hold with : so that some are to chuse their Religion , when they should be established , and confirmed in it , and able to instruct others ? I will now conclude with a Comment on these lines , which are in Leviticus , in the administration of the old law . LEVIT. 19. 2. Thou shalt not Round the Corners of thy Head , neither shalt thou marr the Tufts of thy Beard . You may understand that have a mind to it , how contemptible a Round-head was at the beginning of the world , and joyn'd with no lesse Commandements then those against Murther , Adulterie , Fornication , Sorcery , Incest ; and by that consequence as much to be observed ; we must needs , according to Nature and Reason , allow that Adam in his glorious state of Innocence wore his Haire long and lovely ; and no question being of the great Makers making , the Lord saw that it was good , the very same words he expresseth upon all h●s works : This is a plain Argument that God never made a Round-head , but man hath made himself one , contrary to the law of God , which saith , Thou shalt not Round the Corners of thy Head &c. Nature hath bin ever counted provident , not superfluous ; he that made each limbe you have , made every hair of your head , and by that sequell it is no sin to wear it ; no question but man appeared very beautifull in his long haire that God would give command he should not Round it . What a strange contradiction is this Age guilty of , that is so far from the observation of this law , that contrarily they conceive a man to be a Ruffiian or Reprobate that wears long haire . I do not ( though ) make any great Apologie for long or short , for I could wish that haire might make no difference in Religion , for my part hee that cuts his Haire off let him cuts Head off if he will , it shall not trouble me . I le only sing one short Sonnet which I will title the Round-heads Funerall , and so conclude till further occasion . THE SONG . To the Tune of , Turn again Whittington . DOwn fall those Beetle-brains , who have expounded False Doctrine in their Tubs , and truth confounded , The glorious peace we had by them lies wounded , No men in thoughts so bad ever abounded : That I could wish they were all hang'd or drownded . We might say ther 's an end of a Right Round-head . FINIS . 
A64174	----	An humble desired union betweene prerogative and priviledge shewing, that if one draw too hard one way, and the other another, the whole common-wealth must be in danger to be pull'd in sunder. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64174 of text R2073 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T468). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 13 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64174 Wing T468 ESTC R2073 12411390 ocm 12411390 61532 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64174) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 61532) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 249:E129, no 14) An humble desired union betweene prerogative and priviledge shewing, that if one draw too hard one way, and the other another, the whole common-wealth must be in danger to be pull'd in sunder. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 6 p. by Richard Olton, Imprinted at London : 1642. Signed: John Taylor. Illustrated t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Divine right of kings. Great Britain -- History -- Charles I, 1625-1649 -- Sources. A64174 R2073 (Wing T468). civilwar no An humble desired union betweene prerogative and priviledge. Shewing, that if one draw too hard one way, and the other another, the whole co Taylor, John 1642 2314 3 0 0 0 0 0 13 C The rate of 13 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-12 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-01 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2002-01 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion An humble DESIRED UNION BETWEENE PREROGATIVE And PRIVILEDGE . SHEWING , That if one draw too hard one way , and the other another , the whole COMMON-WEALTH must be in danger to be pull'd in sunder . The Serpent AMPHISBENA . This double headed SERPENT is a Wonder , It drawes two wayes , and teares the womb in sunder : The wofull EMBLEM of a troubl●d STATE , VVhere Civill WARRES doe threat to ruinate . Imprinted at London by Richard Olion . 1642. An humble DESIRED UNION BETWIXT PREROGATIVE and PRIVILEDGE . COncord or discord have bin , are , and will be either the raising or ruine of Kingdoms , and Common-Wealths . And as 2 heads are too many for one body , ( as the Picture of the African Serpent shewes ) eitheir to rule or to be ruled when the wills and affections are violently extended to contrary attractions then such distractions are the fore-runners of destructions ; And what true English understanding heart doth not moane , grieve and is fild with horror and amazement to see know , and feele the Calamitie of this somtimes flourishing famous renowned Kingdom to see it transform'd into an Acheldama , & so many of our fertile fields and pastures turn'd into the horrid shapes of so many Golgotha's , this land that hath had so many innumerable undeservd blessings from God , that it hath long bin admired of , and esteem'd the Eden , or Paradice of the world , the support to all our forraign friends and the scourge and terror of our Enemies , to be so suddainly chang'd and Metamorphosed , so rent and torne with factions divisions and contentions that her peacefull bowels are ript up and her intrailes plow●d with the slaughtering swords of her owne unnaturall and undutifull sonnes when Gods Commandements which were wont to be the rule and guide of all our Actions are now slighted contemn'd and trampled under foote , when too many doe preach and teach the breach of both the first and second table , and in stead of exhorting men to Peace and Unity , they thunder and bluster Warre and blood-shed : But all the world may know that such Pastors and Teachers were not sent by him whom they pretend and fainedly seeme to serve , for the Eternall Prince of Peace never gave any of his servants any command or Commission to raise Warre , ( especially Domestique , Civill vncivill Warre , and surely those nimble talking tong-men that talke so hotly of Battailes , they would not willingly be at one themselves , and th●y doe know chat a whole skin is a good cover to sleepe in . The Weapons that Gods Ministers should use in their Warfare , was wont to be praiers and teares onely ; all the persecuted and Martyr'd Protestants that suffered in the bloody Raigne of Queene Mary , had no other Armes to oppose Authority ; noe Imprisonment , Banishment , losse of goods , Fathers , Mothers , Wives , Sons , Daughters , kindred or friends , could shake their loyalty ; no Racks Tortures , or Tyrannicall Torments , nor Death in most cruell waies of flame , fire and faggot , could alter the Allegiance of Protestants in those times , so that there was not any one of them did attempt at any time to raise divisions to disturbe either the Queene or State ; therefore if we be of the same ancient Religion which they then profest , and hath bin since maintained these 84 yeares in this Kingdom , then we have more reason then they had to be obediently thankfull for it , because we do ( or may ) enjoy the blessings and benefits of it in secure peace and tranquillity which they could not . Love is the Livery which the servants of our Saviour doth weare , for he saith , By this shall all men know that you are my Disciples if yee have love one to another , Joh. 13. 35. Now love and peace have no communion or fellowship with War , especially in one and the same Kingdom , betwixt one and the same Nation , pretending to professe one and the same Religion : nor do these men shew themselves to be Christs Ministers or Disciples that stir up division betwixt us , for every Kingdom divided against it selfe shall be brought to nought , and every City or House divided against it selfe shall not stand : Mathew 12. 25. In the Raigne of King Richard the first , ( surnamed Cor de Lyon or Lions heart ) there was a Bishop in this Land that Rebelled against the King who was taken in a Battell and clap't in Prison , the Newes of the Bishops imprisonment being carried to Rome , the Pope ( Benedict the 2 ) sent a Letter to the King for the Bishops inlargement , wherein hee declared that the Bishop was a servant of God , a Reverend Father , and likewise the Pope wrote that hee was his Sonne : to which Letter the King returned an answer to the Pope to this effect , May it please your Holynesse , If this be a Habit or Coate for a Church-man , and one of your Sonnes , I pray you Judge , for I tooke him fighting in this Coat of compleate Armour : The King thus sending and the Pope seeing the Armour sent this replie , May it please your Majestie , such a garment as this belongs to no Son of mine , and therefore as he is in prison , there let him lie for me . It were well if every man and woman were at deadly Warre with their transgressions , such a Warr would make our peace with God , and the God of Peace would give us the blessing of his peace , which passeth all understanding . How can peace be expected if we continue in our wickednesse and wallow in Impieties , esteeming peace at that low rate as if it were not worth the praying for , or the desiring for without any command from Authority , some strange opinioned men have thrust out of the Church that needfull prayer , Give peace in our time O lord ; Almighty and most Merifull Father , is omitted and neglected , the Creede is left out , and unbeliefe and Infidellity hath intruded too much into the roome of it and the Commandements are not repeated , and in the place of all these is crep't in a confused Masse of Toutalogicall Long-winded Repetitions , with the fearefull Instigations and Incitements to provocations of Hostility and Mischiefe . Mr. Iohn Stow relates in his Chronicle , pag 697 , that in the 25 yeare of Queene Elizabeths blessed Raigne , Anno 1583. on the 4 and 6 of Iune , one Elias Thacker and one Iohn Copizg were hang'd at St Edmondsbury in Suffolke for dispersing Libells and Pamplets against the Booke of Common Prayer , which were written by one Iohn Browne one of the first mad Apostles of the Sect of the Brownists . There are no Protestants but will confesse , that that Queene ( of happy and famous memory ) was a true defendresse of the Faith professed by the Protestants , that she hazarded her life for it divers times , in the bloody raigne of her Sister and in the whole course of her 44 yeares Raigne many Romish Treasons were plotted and attempted against her only because she maintained that Booke , which was then no Masse-booke ( though now it be esteemed so ) and if any Popery had bin then perceived to be in it , that glorious and godly Princesse would never have protected it , neither would two great Protestant Kings ( since her Reigne ) have profest and maintained it 40 yeares , yet I am of opinion that somethings may be omitted in it some things reform'd some things dissolv'd , but the most correspondent to Scriptures manners and good life , I hope shall be ever upheld and maintained by all understanding Protestants . Thus the vaine scattering opinions of some selfewill'd , some ignorant , some Ambitious , some Presumptuous , and some malitious , Turbulent spiriits have drawne the Church and State several wayes , that the poore Common-Wealth ( which is the body of the Kingdome ) is almost pulld in twaine , as is Emblematically shewed in the Picture of the two headed Serpent . There are too great a number that have gotten the wisdom of the old serpent but there are few that are possest with the Innocency of the Dove , the old Serpent is a malitious breaker of Peace and a diligent Laborer for Warre , his onely businesse is to make us wicked and he knowes that for the sinnes of a people God sends War for a punishment , 1 Kings . 8 , 35 37. He knowes Warre doth plunge a Nation into misery and that the breach of all Gods lawes is Attendant upon Warre , and Inseparably joyne with it ; Pride ( like a Gentleman Usher ) goes before destruction odious swearing Impious Prophanation , damnable disobedience , execrable murders , shamelesse adulteries , Incests , Rapes , and deflorations , Lawlesse Stealing and plundering and all the Crimes and Calamities that may bring poor and miserable mankind to distruction are Incident to Warre , and continuall waiters on Mars and Bellona . Yet there is nothing more uncertaine then the events of Warre nor is there any thing more unsure then the successe of a battell for though it be never so prudently pondered by the most wise and valiant counsell of the best and most expert Leaders , though the plot be contrived by the best Iudgments of the most knowing Commanders , as how to gaine the advantage of ground wind , sun , how the Front , Van , Reare , Flanks , Wings , and body of an Army shall or may prevaile and be victorious ; yet all these serious consultations have found most strange alterations , and as a man that presumes to reckon without his Hoste is quite out and must begin againe , for . They are most blind , with ignorance besotted , VVho think Warrs councell in a Chamber plotted , Must be so acted with the dint of sword , As it was wisely talkd of at the board Me thinks the Proverbe should not be forgot , The Warrs are sweet , to those that knowes them not . But if there were any sweet content in Warre , it may rather be , so either in a forraigne Warre abroade against Turkes , Infidels , Iesuiticall Papists , or any of Gods and our Nations Enemies such Warrs as those may not onely be Tolerable , but Commendable , Profitable , and Honourable ; But for Englishmen , for Brittaines , for Protestants , to Warre against Protestants , the Fathers against their Sonnes , and the Sonnes against their Fathers , when one Brother shall sheath his sword in the Bowells of another , when a King is against his Subjects ; and Subjects against their Soveraigne , this kind of Warre is unpleasing to God , and a good King , unprofitable distastfull to true and Loyall Subjects , and dishonourable to all . God forbid that Prerogative of Kings should be too much stretched or diminished any way , or that Priviledge should shrink to enslave or pinch the liberty of free-borne Subjects : Our King doth know that if he defend the Faith the Faith will save him : and he further knowes that he must maintaine his Lawes , or else his Lawes cannot defend him : The King knowes , that though Kings are called Gods on earth yet they are but Gods of earth ( or earthen Gods ) and loyall Subjects do obediently love and honour the King . Good Kings may be compared to Lightning because as Lightning doth never hurt Wooll or any soft unresistable substance , but it violently penetrates , breakes and melts Trees Rocks , and Mettalls , so a good King doth never proceed in wrath against milde and gentle natures . I would we could thinke upon the great mischiefes that the divisions betwixt Scilla and Marius brought to the Roman Empire , the massacres that long continued in Italy betweene the Guelphes and Gibelines , or the unnaturall dissension that bloodily embrewd this Kingdom 80 and od yeares betwixt the Royall Families of Yorke and Lancaster , and as Brothers in one House do often jarre and disagree , yet if one of them be injured by a stranger , the other will take his part , so let all English-men or Britaines , King and Subjects , great or small ( like Brothers ) take it to heart how they are all abused ( by the common enemy ) the Rebells in Ireland , and God grant that the King may be defended from all false friends and fierce enemies , that we may all be united in peace here , and jointly and unanimously relieve the opressed and distressed calamities under which our poore Protestant Brethren have so long suffered , and do still groane under in Ireland . These shall be the daily prayers and humble desires of IOHN TAYLOR . FINIS . 
A64175	----	A late weary, merry voyage and journey, or, Iohn Taylors moneths travells by sea and land, from London to Gravesend, to Harwich, to Ipswich, to Norwich, to Linne, to Cambridge, and from thence to London : performed and written on purpose to please his friends and to pleasure himselfe in these unpleasant and necessitated times. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64175 of text R22048 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T473A). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 30 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 13 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64175 Wing T473A ESTC R22048 12485996 ocm 12485996 62284 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64175) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 62284) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 298:29) A late weary, merry voyage and journey, or, Iohn Taylors moneths travells by sea and land, from London to Gravesend, to Harwich, to Ipswich, to Norwich, to Linne, to Cambridge, and from thence to London : performed and written on purpose to please his friends and to pleasure himselfe in these unpleasant and necessitated times. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 24 p. s.n.], [London : 1650. In verse. Signed: John Taylor Place of publication from NUC pre-1956 imprints. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. eng Great Britain -- Description and travel -- Poetry. A64175 R22048 (Wing T473A). civilwar no A late weary, merry voyage, and journey: or, Iohn Taylors moneths travells, by sea and land, from London to Gravesend, to Harwich, to Ipswic Taylor, John 1650 5371 7 0 0 0 0 0 13 C The rate of 13 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A late Weary , Merry Voyage , And Journey : OR , IOHN TAYLORS Moneths Travells , By Sea and Land , from London to Gravesend , to Harwich , to Ipswich , to Norwich , to Linne , to Cambridge , and from thence to London : Performed and written on purpose to please his Friends , and to pleasure himselfe in these unpleasant and necessitated Times . Printed in the Yeare , 1650. To the Judicious , or Ignorant Reader , the Author sends this loving advertisement . Gentlemen and Yeomen : LET mee entreat you not to use my Booke as you doe your Oysters , ( which you open in the middle ) it is not so handsome entring into a house through a window , or the backside , as it is in the front or foredoore : He 's no good Courtier that falutes a faire Lady behinde , nor can that Reader finde the true sense of any Book or Pamphlet that begins at Finis : It is a prepostrous kinde of feeding for a man to eate his Cheese before his Rostmeat , and after that to sup up his Broath . So much for Introduction and Instruction . I thanke my Dictionary I am furnished with as much broken Latine as declares my perambulating condition ; Vado , bids mee to go , Vadens , commands mee to bee going , and Vagu● , puts mee in minde of wandring , but quo Gentium fugiam , to what place or corner of the World shall I go or flye to , there lies the question : To stay at home I was in a starving condition , and to go from home , I was in a Dillemma or wavering betwixt Hope and Diffidence , to what place , whither , to whom , why , wherefore , and how my resolution was constantly inconstant , and my determinations so slippery , that I could finde no steadfast footing in my minde , which wayes to bend my course : But considering that I had made eleaven Vagaries , Voyages , and Journies before ; and that one fling more would make my Labours a douzen ( much like the twelve Labours of Hercules in number , though farre unequall in quantity , quallity , weight , and measure ) To make my uncertaine Travells a compleate Jury , I framed this following humorous Bill , which I gave to divers persons of sundry Functions , Callings , Dispositions , and Humours . Anno Domini , 1650. VVHereas John Taylor doth intend to make a Progresse this Summer ( hee knowes not when , or whither ) to see some Friends in the Countrey , ( hee knowes not who , ) being certaine that his Journey and entertainments will bee ( hee knowes not how ; ) and that hee purposeth to returne againe to London ( hee knowes not what time ; ) and that hee intends to write a Relation of his perambulations ( hee knowes wherefore : ) That when hee doth give mee ( or cause to bee delivered to mee ) the said Relations aforesaid , that then I will freely give to him for the same , in good English money , the summe of somewhat ; though neither my selfe , or hee , knowes how much or little , that somewhat may bee : To the which engagement I have subscribed my name and dwelling : where , if at his returne , hee doe kindly finde mee , hee shall friendly feele mee . TO this unfellowed matchlesse Bill , there are many men that have subscribed to pay mee money for this Booke at my returne . I thanke God I am not so light of Beliefe as to believe that they will all pay mee ; nor will I dispaire 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 some are as willing to pay as they were to subscribe . The Countries that I have footed , have been fruitfull , plenteous , with abundance of most good things ( except Newes and Cuckolds ) but such stuffe as my Observations collected , I ambled to distribute to delight my Friends , to please mine Enemies , and pleasure my selfe . John Taylor . A late Weary , Merry Voyage , &c. TIme was , this Land was sick of Peace & Wealth , And War , and Poverty must give her Health : Grave Reformation , Physick did apply , And Mars himselfe us'd much Phlebotomy ; I will not say our Land was full of Witches To charm us to contemn our Peace and Riches ; But my beliefe is fix'd , my thoughts are pich'd ; One halfe were Witches , th' other halfe bewitch'd . Stern War hath let us bloodith ' Master vaine , And many a pursie purse did purge and draine . Thus Plenty made us proud , and War doth show How good Peace was , and how our selves to know . Affliction is the Line , the Hooke the Net To catch us from the World , they new beget Our soules to Heav'n , and by a gratious Birth Lifts up our mindes to slight this sordid Earth . And I doe wish all Sects , strifes , contradictions , Would make such use of England's sad afflictions . And now a short discourse of travelling Of Travellers , and of my wandering : The Sun 's a Traveller ( and a great one too ) In twice twelve houres , he round the World doth goe ; The Moone surrounds us in her changing spheare , Three hundred sixty and five times a yeare . But yet the thoughts of man more quick doth run Then flashing lightning , or the Moone or Sun . My restlesse thoughts can in a moment leape To Heaven , and thence to the infernall deepe . To Europe , Asia , and America , To the orient Indies , to hot Africa ; The Summer , Autumne , Winter , and the Spring Are in perpetuall motion , travelling . And though my thoughts ( like other men's are vaine , Winds , Seas , nor Stormes , my thinking can restraine . At Travellers , let no man carpe or cavill , Our Mothers ( at our births ) were all in travell . And from our birth unto our buriall , In divers Functions we do travell All . The Footman's feet , the Statesman's working braine , In travell , labour , and continuall paine Do spend themselves , and all their courses bend For private ends ( to no end ) till they end . The Lawyer travells , his tongue ( swift with sleight ) Sells his words deare , by measure , tale , and weight : And those that buy them deare , do often find They paid well for good words , but words are winde . All men are born to travell , each man must With paine and travell , turn unto his dust : Then happy is the man that can go right , Who doth his paths with Davids Lanthorne light . And all my life time it hath been my fate To be a traveller legitimate : From head to heele , by either Land or Sea I am a Traveller , Right Cape a Pe● . Now Clothoe , my poor vitall thread hath spunne , And Lachesis , her r●eling work 's near done : Now Atropos is ready with her Knife To cut the uncertaine feeble twist of life ; Now in my Autumne , or my fall o' th leafe Halfe dead , halfe living , halfe blinde , lame , halfe deafe , Now all these five halves can not make one whole ( From m' head unto my body bearing sole ) Now at this time , with brains , and feet , and pen , I am an old new Traveller agen . 'T is not the greatnes of Golias can Perswade me to be lesser then a man : She 's cal'd a ship , whose burthen 's but foure score , And one that 's fifteen hundred is no more . Though Folio be our learned Vollums , yet Decimo sexto , may expresse some wit . A generous minde respects the poor man's Mite , 'T is said , a Larke is better then a Kite . Nor would I have the Reader to mistake , That odious bold comparisons I make : Pamphlets must not compare with Reverend Writings Of Theologues , or Historians grave enditings . The Owle must not as high as th' Eagle flee , Yet Owles are Fowles , as well as Eagles bee . So I , that am poor , weak , Aquatticus , A Traveller , and Poet Minnimus , The honour , wholly , humbly I ascribe T' the Worthies of most sacred Levies Tribe , And the learn'd servants of the triple Trine , Whose verses make mortallity divine : Your genius high Illuminations are Transcending mine , as Titan doth a Starre ; Yet your refulgence doth not blinde me so , But that my silly Glowormes light doth glow . I scribble , and I walke , I walke and scribble , I give and take Jests , Bull , and clinch , and quibble . Amongst good Poets I have plaid at Crambo , And I have found mens words and deedes not Ambo. The last yeare ( sixteen hundred forty nine ) I went to Cornewall , and some foes of mine Did certifie a Lye , malitiously , That I was subtle , and a dangerous spye ; And did with travell , and a faign'd pretence With th' Enemy have some Intelligence . For which three dayes in prison I was closed , With sleepe reposed , and my minde composed : I knew my conscience clear , and well disposed , By Truths my accusations were opposed , And I ( not found the man I was supposed ) Without a Fee or Fine , on me imposed , And unto misery and want exposed ( Not guilty found ) from Prison I was losed . But if I had a thought , or bad intent When I from London , into Cornwall went , Against the Army , State , or Parliament , Let torments both my soule and corps torment . No man can blame me much that I have grumbled , That I , for no cause was thus to tos'd and tumbled ; And that I never could m' Accuser see , My Books and Bills took , and detain'd from me : The Books declar'd my Journy too and fro , The Bills , were names of men , and where to go To finde the men , to pay me for my pain , My losse of those , made all my labour vain ; And for that losse , I once more try my friends , Hope tells me , Time will make me some amends . False Fortunes frownes , makes me not fear or shrink , And evill fall on him that ill doth think . My Muse shall now sing , though she be no Singer , For ( Reader with thee ) I 'le no longer linger : My brain Enthusiastick holds it meet To make the feet of Verse , tell how my feet Did travell gauling gravell , and surbated , Sometimes by day , sometimes by night belated . To write my acts my selfe , as 't is most fit , Caesar himselfe his Commentaries writ : And solid Johnson made his Muse his Cock To crow his savoury Voyage up Fleet Dock : So I do hold it worthy imitation , To follow them , and write mine own Relation . The fourteenth day of August , London , London I left , O what hath many a mothers * son don ? What hath the mad and furious sword and gun don ? But kill'd some , made some rich , and some are undon . That I may say of London , what a Town ist , There lives the Seeker , Dipper , and the Brownist : There 's roome for Ranters , and alas how apt ist To harbour the ungovern'd Annabaptist ? Th'ast plaid thy Game home , like a cunning Gamester , Thou more Religions hast , then hath dam'd Amster . I downe the Thames the day aforesaid went , ( On one side Essex , on the other Kent ) Untill at last , to Gravesend I was borne , And lodg'd in Milton , at the plenteous Horne . That Horne , was Cornucopia unto mee Two dayes meat , drinke , and lodging , * quarter free . From thence unto a private house I went , And there ( with small charge , and much discontent ) Foure dayes I stayd , and every tide did watch To have some Ship , or Hoigh , Boat , Barke , or Katch , To carry me to Norfolk or some place Where I might foot it , and jog on my Race . In all this time I never wanted drinke , And for their drinke , I give 'em thanks in Inke : No otherwayes my thanks I can expresse , But verbally , and with the Pen and Presse . The twentieth day of August , Kent and I Tooke leave , and to the Fort of Tilberry I past , and ere I there an houre had bin , A lucky ship of Ipswich tooke me in . She quickly spread abroad her canvas wings , The whistling winde in shrowdes and taklin sings : That next day following , near the houre eleaven We came t'an Anchor safe in Harwich Haven : My thanks unto the Master I must utter , He 's owner of the ship , his sirname's Butter : His ship and selfe both nam'd the Jonathan , And I have seldome found a kinder man . My fare was as he far'd , and well he far'd , And ( in his Cabbin ) I my lodging shar'd ; For which he would not take one mite of mee , Thus was my Passage , Meat , and Lodging free For which I would requite him , if I could , And till I can , let him take what I would . From Harwich Harbour , with the winde and tide , In a small Boat , we up to Ipswich slide : At the White Horse , I there was entertain'd So well ( for nothing ) that they nothing gain'd . For which among my worthy friends I ranke them , Kind Master Atkins , and his Wife , I thanke them . Ipswich , is the chiefe Towne of the County of Suffolke , it hath twelve Parish Churches in it : There hath been more in former times , it may bee called a City for the large bounds and extent of it : It is from the North to the South a large mile in breadth , and from East to West it is two miles in length : our famous infortunate Cardinall , Thomas Wolsey was borne there , where hee had caused to bee layd the foundation of a Magnificent stately Colledge , the ruines whereof are now scarce to be found ; but in memory of his birth and birth place , there hee built a large and strong Shambles ( for Butchers to sell , and others to buy flesh ) the like of it is not in England ; the Towne hath been walled strongly , but spoyled and demollished by the Danes nor was ( nor is like to bee ) ●ever repaired ; it is governed by two Bayliffes , and ten Portmen , who doe weare Scarlet Gownes when occasion is , their Common Counsell ( being many ) are very substantiall men , read more in Mr. Cambden or Mr. Speed . August the two and twentieth , thence went I Eight miles to Stanhum , and lodg'd at the Pye . The next day , was an extream rainy Friday , Wet ( through my cloaths ) unto my skin , or hyde , a Tedious and weary Journy twenty miles , Bedabbled , dirty , clambring many stiles , I came at night unto a Town call'd Newton , And there I had a dry house , and wet sute on . On Saturday ( the day call'd Bartholmew ) I rose , and trampled through the mire and dew ; My tyred feet the rotten highway beat on Unto a Village , or a Bridge call'd Eaton : There at the Lyon , ( red as any Stammell ) Is harbour good , for man , or Horse , or Cammell : There dwels my cousin Wil Hart , and 's good wife Bridgid By them two nights , I was well fed and lidged . I stayd with them the Saturday and Sunday , And he with me to Norwich went on Munday : There did my Cousin Hart , prove more kind hearted , And there we merry were , s●ooke hands and parted . One Master Edward Martin there doth dwell , Who both divine Bookes , and prophane , doth sell : We ( till that time ) ne're saw each others face , Yet there he freely kept me three dayes space ; From Monday untill Thursday morning there He thought no cost too heavy , or too deere : He brought me out of Town : a mile at least , And there I freed him from a troublous Guest . Norwich , is a famous ancient City , built many yeares before the Norman Conquest ; it had a strong Castle in it double ditched , out of the ruins or corruption of the Castle , a Jayle ( or Goale ) was engendred , to which use it is now put : It was spoyled by Hugh Bigot Earl of Norfolk , in the raign of K , Henry the second , and a greater mischief befell the City in King Henry the thirds time , for the Citizens ( in a tumultuous fury ) spoyled it with fire , and withal burnt the goodly Priory Church , which afterwards they were caused to rebuild in a fairer manner . Lastly , Norwich was won and fired by Ket and his Army of Rebels , since when it hath been well repaired , and in a flourishing condition ; the wals of the City are of more circuit or bounds then the wals of London : But it is to be considered , there are Pasture Grounds , Gardens , and waste Lands ( not built upon ) more then half the ground within the walls ; it hath 12. gates to issue in and out 12. severall wayes , whereby it may be conceived that it is large in circuit , ( for London hath not fo many ) there are 30. faire Parish Churches , there were five more , but they are ruined before these present troubles ; the goodly Cathedrall is much defaced in these late times of Reformation . It was governed by 2 Bayliffs , till King Edward the fourth impowred them to chuse a Mayor , and gave Priviledges to them , and Charters of honorable and memorable regard : The Low Dutch ( or Netherland Nation ) being frighted from their Country by the cruelty of the Duke D' Alva , who was Livetenant Governour there under the King of Spaine , ( who for his Tyranny the people called Duke Diabota ) they fled in multitudes into England , and thousands of them came to Norwich , where they have so thrived , and withall much inriched the City , that it is thought there are 10000. Weavers , Spinners , and other Artificers , dayly imployed for the making of sundry sorts of Sayes , with other Stuffs innumerable , either for wearing or ornaments ; to adorne houses with Hangings , Carpets , or Curtaines , of innumerable sorts , colours , varieties , and more hard names then any Apothecary hath upon his Boxes or Gallypots , and so much for Norwich , with my further thanks to Mr. Edward Martin , with Mr. Richard Thacker , Mr. Vowte , Cum multis aliis , Omnium Gathrum , All ta Mall . The County of Norfolk hath in some parts found a strange alteration , since the last yeare , 1649. in the price of Hay , for it is fallen from 4s . 4d . the hundred weight , to one groat the hundred ; this I thought worthy of relating to shew the fertility of the Soyle , by the Almighties blessings . Angust the nine and twentieth I went forth From Norwich City ten miles further North , To Worsted , well Wet , with a heavenly shower , Mine Hostesse entertain'd me , to her power ; Although the weather frown'd , she did not lower , Her lookes were sweet , but yet her Ale was sower . My lodging good , my reck'ning was not deare , For ten pence , Supper , Bed , and Breakfast there . I arose as soone as day began to show , And ( two miles thence ) did unto Honing go ; There , to the Minister I welcome was , And merrily one day and night did pass : And there we made a shift that Fryday night To eate a well fed , fat Tith Pig outright . Next day I Honing left , and did begin To crosse the North of Norfolk , towards Lyn : That day I chanc'd a gallant house to finde A Master bountifull , and servants kinde : I need not tell my Reader where , or who , The name of Oxnet , all doth plainly show . Sir William Paston : there I found and spake with the Apelles of our Age , Mr. Edward Peirce Painter , and Mr. John Stone was there , whose rare Arts are most exquisitly manifested both in painting , limming , and cunning carved Statues in stone . That Saturday I went t'a Towne call'd Reepham , And as amongst great sinners , I the chiefe am : I grieve to see the Churches there demollish'd , Sects plenty , and true Piety abollish'd . This Town of Repham ( or Reepham ) hath three faire Churches , were standing in one Church-yard , it is sayd they were built by three Sisters ; one of them hath beene long decayed and fallen to the ground , onely the Tower stands faire and strong ; the other two Churches do serve four Parishes , and I could hear no more but three Bels on Sunday there : So that the reckoning is one Church-yard , three Bels , two Chreches , three Steeples , foure Parishes , and one broken Church for Lumber . The second of September ( being Monday ) I left Reepham , and travelled 18. miles to a Village called Gayton ; but by the way ( at a place called Brissley ) I was told of a Holy Sister , who by falling back , had risen forward , to the increase of the faithfull : she being reproved falling and rising , sayd it was pure zeale that pricked her on , and that it was done with a Brother , he and she , and every one being bound to do for , and with one another , and I hearing of her kindnesse bestowed this short Epigram on her . Hath Lust defil'd her purenesse , never match'd ? No 't was deceit , she hath been cunny-catch'd : It was a rule , she learned of her Mother , That 't was no sin to couple with a Brother . But to return again where I left : at Gayton there are 2 playn Ale-houses , and one Wine Ale-house ; these houses were distant one from the other a furlong , or two flight shoot : at the first house ( where the Wine was ) there were fellows swaggering , and ready to draw their fists , there I would not lodge ; at the second I would have lodged , but could not , their beds were all taken up ; at the third the doors were lock'd & the windows shut , no body at home , the folkes not come home from Harvest worke ; forward I knew not whether , and backward I would not goe , and to stand still there was cold comfort for an old weary Traveller , there being no harbour , but a wild Common , nor any company to passe the time withall but 3 or 4 flocks of Geese ; in this extremity I espy'd an old-old , very old , neat handed little antient man , to him I went , and told him that I would have lodged at that house , but it was shut up ; quoth he the folkes will come home by and by , but I doe not know whether they have any lodging or no , and sure me think you be a clean man , and t is pitty you should lye on the Common , if you will goe home and lye with me , I am an old Widdower , and one bed shall hold us both . I thankfully embraced his courteous offer , and went with him , where I sup'd and log'd well , and would take nothing of me ; his name is Sampson Warrington , in remembrance of whose kindnes I have written this thankfull expession . I was told there of a precise holy mā in those parts , who sent his man unto a Pasture ground to see his horse , the fellow went , and brought word to his Master that his horse was Dead , dead quoth hee , how dar'st thou tell me my horse is dead ? the fellow answered , I pray you be not angry , sure I am that if he be not dead , that he is either deceased , or changed his life ; well sayd the Master , if my horse be departed , I have lost a good one , for he was so sure of his feet , that I would have put my life into his hands . Tuesday September 3. I went 4 miles to a Village called North-Wooton , 3 miles from Linn , there I was much beholding to my Kinsman Mr. John Clark , he gave me large and free welcome , for which to him with his good Wife , my gratitude is manifested ; also my thankes to Mr. Swift . Wednesday I went to Linn , where a good old Joviall Lad named John Scarborow entertained mee sumptuously ( for my Cozen John Clarks sake ) and also he was somewhat the kinder to me , because he had often heard of me , besides of his own dispo●ition is free from discourtesie to strangers , I thank him for my fresh fish , my Duck , or Mallard , my lodging , Ale , and Oysters , with the appurtenances . &c. Linn was much honoured by King John for their Loyalty , for which that King gave them his owne word , and a faire gilt Bole , which they keep as honorable memorialls to this day : it is a faire large stronge Sea Towne , it is now a Garison , the River hat the Sea doth flow thereinto , disperseth it self into many Branches , for the commodious enriching of divers Shires , Counties , Townes , and Places , as Rutlandshire , Huntingdonshire , Cambridge , and Cambridgeshire , the Isle of Ely , &c. those Rivers doe carry and re-carry all maner of goods and Merchandise , so that Linn with all those Countreys are furnished with more Sea-coales then doe come up the River of Thames , wood being so scarce that the Rich might blow their nailes , and the poore would bee starved in the Winter for want of fiting in all those Counties , if the Rivers were not . ... Thursday the 5. of September I left Linn , and tooke an open passage Boat , being bedewed all day and night , and almost all the Fryday with raine without ceasing , so that , on Fryday I came to Cambridge sufficiently pickled : there I tooke up my lodging at the signe of the Rose ( one of the best Innes ) where I thank Mr. Brian and his Wife ( my old acquaintance ) I had good cheere and lodging gratis and welcome ; I tooke notice of the Colledges , they stand as fair and stately as ever , and ( for any thing that I know ) there may be as much learning as ever was , but I saw but few Schollars or Gowne men . On Saturday the 7. of September , I was determined to see Sturbridge Faire , but by fortune I espyed an empty Cart returning towards London 17 miles to a Towne call'd Baldock ; by which means I left Cambridge without taking my leave of Mr. Brian , for which I crave his and his Wive's pardon . That day I was uncarted at Baldock , and footed it 7 miles more to Steevenedge , there ( at the Faulcon ) I stayd Saturday and Sunday , and on Monday I travelled to Hatfield , and to Barnet 17 miles , wher I was discreetly wet and dirty , and took up my lodging at the Bell with a silent Clapper . The next day ( being Tuesday ) I came home to my house wet and weary in Phoenix Alley , at the signe of the Crowne , near the Globe Taverne , about the middle of Long-Acre or Covent Garden . Thus having touch'd no State , or State Affaires , Or mentioned men that sit in Honours Chaires : I dare declare him of a base condition , That of my Lines or Travels hath suspition . I formerly have falsely been accus'd , And therefore now I hope to be excus'd . This time I travell'd ( for my life 's preserving ) To get some money , to prevent a starving : And every one that for my Booke doth pay me , Doth love me , lodge me , feed me , and aray me . With feet and pen , my walke and worke is done , And ( Caesar like ) the Conquest I have won : And though I never shall have Caesars Fame , Tet I did see , I came , and overcame . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A64175e-410 * This kinde of Verse or Rime , is hard to make , and when they are made they are not worth any thing , especially when they are in the hands of an ignorant Reader . * I thank a B●ker . I thank John Brafferson the Master of a Tilt-boat there for my foure dayes entertainement . 
A64178	----	Love one another: a tub lecture, preached at Watford in Hartfordshire at a conventicle on the 25. of December last, being Christmas day, by John Alexander, a joyner. His text was taken out of the epistle of Saint Iohn, and himselfe was taken by Captaine Bird, Lieutenant Rock, and other officers, from whom he received such usage as his doctrine did deserve; for which the said officers were commended by the Parliament. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64178 of text R6037 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T476). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 16 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64178 Wing T476 ESTC R6037 99872936 99872936 125383 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64178) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 125383) Images scanned from microfilm: (Thomason Tracts ; 15:E85[38]) Love one another: a tub lecture, preached at Watford in Hartfordshire at a conventicle on the 25. of December last, being Christmas day, by John Alexander, a joyner. His text was taken out of the epistle of Saint Iohn, and himselfe was taken by Captaine Bird, Lieutenant Rock, and other officers, from whom he received such usage as his doctrine did deserve; for which the said officers were commended by the Parliament. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 6 p. s.n.], [London : Printed in the yeare of private instructing. [1643] John Alexander = John Taylor. Illustrated t.p. Place and date of publication from Wing. Annotation on Thomason copy: "Jan: 23 1642". Reproduction of the original in the British Library. eng Love -- Religious aspects -- Early works to 1800. Dissenters, Religious -- England -- Early works to 1800. A64178 R6037 (Wing T476). civilwar no Love one another: a tub lecture, preached at Watford in Hartfordshire at a conventicle on the 25. of December last, being Christmas day, by Taylor, John 1643 3019 7 0 0 0 0 0 23 C The rate of 23 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Love one another : A TVB LECTVRE , PREACHED At Watford in Hartfordshire at a Conventicle on the 25. of December last , being Christmas day , by JOHN ALEXANDER , a Joyner . His text was taken out of the Epistle of Saint Iohn , and himselfe was taken by Captaine Bird , Lieutenant Rock , and other officers , from whom he received such usage as his doctrine did deserve ; for which the said officers were commended by the Parliament . Printed in the yeare of private instructing . Love one another . BEloved , you are well met in this solemn Synagogue to hear from me those words of Truth , and wholesome Doctrine which this day you shall receive from me your teacher . And you are to understand , that although I have had but six shillings at a collection for my other Sermons , which like good seed I have sowed among you , and the fruite whereof in a plentifull increase to your great advantage you have reaped , yet for this Sermon I shall well deserve twelve shillings , both for the solmnesse of the day , and the sweetnesse of the Doctrine that floweth from my Text , and the gravity , and Authority of me your Teacher , I will dispense a little ( with your Christian patience ) with the two first reasons , or inducements , and begin first with the last , which is the sufficiency of your Teacher . And what man indeed more fitting to direct your understanding in this point , then I , who am your known , your deare , your persecuted Alexander ? whose life you have seen , whose Doctrine you have heard , & whose zeal in the holy Cause you have admired . This is not the first time you have heard of my prayses , nor shall it be the last . To whom is it more sutable to discourse upon this Text of Love , then unto me , who by profession am a Joyner a man ordained to joyne and settle things in order ? and if the husband of the Virgin Mary ( as the Text saith ) was but a Carpenter , I believe a Joyner is not to be despised . A Carpenter Beloved doth raise Seats or formes in the House of God , but it is the office of a Joyner to make the Pulpit , but when the Joyner doth not onely make the Pulpit , but is the Preacher that is in the Pulpit , who joyneth Truth to Falshood , Ignorance unto Knowledge , and Misdevotion unto Zeal , what a Joyner , nay what a Conjoiner must that be ? and this Beloved , is the happinesse which you all behold , and injoy in me this day : and so much briefly for my self , who am your Teacher , I will now return unto my first particular which is the solemnesse of the day . And in the first place not to conceive of me to be so superstitious , as to make any conscience of the solemnity of this day , because the Church hath ordained or doth enjoyn , no God forbid I should be so prophane , it is a detestation of their blindnesse , that have brought me hither this day , to enlighten your eyes , and to informe your eares , how much they are abused , and doe abuse the ignorant , and a consciousnesse withall of my present wants , which crave a supply from your Christian charities to relieve them : and in the first place , I give you to understand , that the very name of Christmas is Idolatrous and prophane , and so verily , are the whole twelve dayes wherein the wicked make many daily , and nightly sacrifices to Riot , and sensuality . The Papists Christmas ( pardon me , Beloved that I am forced to repeat the word ) doth begin in Holland ten dayes before it doth in England , for so I have been informed by a godly brother from Amsterdam , wherein they make more haste the good speed , and in their doing so , three things offer themselves to our observation . There are three sorts of men that make haste . The first that make more haste then good speed . The second those that make haste with good speed . The third those that make neither haste , nor good speed , of these in their order , and first of the first . They that make more haste then good speed , those I say , are the Popish and the Idolatrous Churches that in their Superstitious Rites , and Ceremonies follow them , and this indeed is the way of all sinners , and Reprobates whatsoever ; thus in the Gunpowder-Treason they made more haste then good speed . Thus Guido Faux that limb of the Devill with his dark lanthorn which was another limb of the Devill , for every work of darknesse is a limb of the Devill , made more haste then good speed . Thus the Earle of Newcastle at this present with his Papisticall Army , makes more haste then good speed , to overthrow our Ierusalem , and to ●oot out the true Reformed Religion from amongst us , but God I hope will put a bridle in his mouth , and send him back the way he came , or send ●im to those whose battells he fights , whither yet he never came . The second sort of those that make haste , are they that make haste with ●ood speed , and those Beloved , ( with teares of joy I speak it ) are your ●elves , who are met all together to heare me this day : Thus the Prodigall makes hast with good speed to discharge the Usurer before the use of his money doth eate into his acres , and leaves him , and his posterity desolate . The third sort of those that make haste , are they who neither make haste nor good speed , And these Beloved , ( Let it not trouble your patience , for I must needs speak the truth ) are our carelesse servants at home I am afraid now , who while our pots are boyling over , make no haste , ●ill all the fat is fallen into the fire . Thus the foolish Virgins would put no oyle into their Lampes , untill overtaken by the Bridegroome , they were refused as unserviceable . And thus the slothfull in the Proverbs , deferreth his travell from day untill at the last he is inforced to goe in the rain , and not able in it either to make haste or good speed , is sowsed to the skinne . And thus I have done with my three observations occasioned on my meitation of my first inducement which was the solemnes of the day , I now come unto the second , which is the sweetnesse of the Doctrine that is flowing from my Text . My Text you heare is Love , a very necessary Text in these contentious times , whenever we our selves are troubled , are persecuted , and routed in in our Synagogues , when we cannot have those expositions , and preachings with that priviledge and security as becometh us , when the Reprobate and prophane intrude themselves into our assembly , and catch at our words to make us or odious , or ridiculous . When our feastings are made the admiration of the gluttons , and our Graces thought longer then the Prayers of the Liturgy-mongers , when our honest desires of competency in wealth is accounted coveteousnesse , and the closenesse , and wisdome of our carriages passeth for hypocrisie . Brethren , and Sisters , these are the last dayes , into which we are fallen , and it behoveth us , ( mark what I say ) to be as wife as Serpents , and because we are pursued , derided and traduced , ( though if all things succeed according to our prayers ) there will a speedy and happy period be put unto our sufferings and revilings , and we shall live to revile the reviler , and to spit in the faces of those that have opposed us let us ( I say ) joyne all together in one close desire , and doe as the Text enjoynes us , Love one another . The words you heare are few , yet very remarkable , if you consider in them the drift of the Apostle , it is an exhortation to Love , wherein you shall find the Object , the Subject , and the Abject . The Object is Love , the Subject which is also the Abject is one another ; I call the Subject the Abject , because we should think our selves as Abjects in this world , and not mind it nor any thing that doth belong unto it , no more then needs must , but settle our affections altogether , on the holy Assembly of our selves , defying any sociation with the wicked and prophane : from this ariseth those two Doctrines , First , that we must hate all those that be against us . Secondly , that the best way to love one another , is to Love our selves first . First we must hate all those that be against us , for how can we love our selves , unlesse we hate our enemies ? how can Peace be setle● in a Kingdome , unlesse all that seek to destroy it be utterly consumed ? how can the pure light of the Gospell shine , as long as the thick night of Superstition and those monstrous rags of Rome , the Rites , and Idolatrous Ceremonies of our Church , which the proud Prelates doe put on , and practise : They are the hay , chaffe , and the stubble of Antichrist , which the breath of Reformation shall blow away , and scatter in the desarts , where there shall be none to seek it out . We must beare a perfect hate to those men and to their Arts : If we will Love one another . We must hate the Bishops as Hell , and the Prelates as the flaming smoke of Brimstone that proceedeth from it . It is no matter in what they have transgressed , for they are enemies to us , and to the musick of our Assemblies , and we are bound to hate them . They hate our Love , and we doe love their hate : What though we are not learned as the Clergy , what though we are not so great Scholars as they , Let us love one another , and make our selves not onely one Church , but one family , and be as it were one family of Love . Away with all Learning , away with all immodesty , and the trumpry of the Arts : the very Grammar is prophane , and instructs our children in the obscenenesse of Conjunctions copulative , and what a smell thinke you are they like to have when they come to Tullies Offices : Verily brethren , were that mystery of iniquity laid open to us in our mother tongue , I doe believe that the vilest jakes about this towne would not be so unsweet in the nostrills of good men , as that booke of Offices : much more may be aleadged , but I hasten to my second Use . Which serves for terrour and astonishment of heart , to all those who stile themselves by that Reprobate ti●le of Cavaliers , whether horsemen , or footmen , or of what degree or sex soever , these be they , who tooth and naile labour to pluck up Reformation by the root , who will have their dinners , as long as ours , and their haire longer , men of no piety , nor grace at all , who oursweare the French , out drink the Dutch , out Paramour the Turk . Bold Sonnes of Beliall , begotten on the daughters of Anak . O that they were within my reach , now Beloved , with this hand , would I hurle Seas of water to overwelm them , and with this hand balls of wildfire to consume them , with this would I throw fearfullnesse , and trembling , and with this utter ruine and desolation on them , Mark what I say , and mark well what I doe . Here would I mayme them and there would I braine them : Here would I quash them , and there would I thrash them : Here would I thrum them , and there would I burn them , & quite overcome them : here would I wound them , & there would I — O my brethren my zeal is enlarged , and me thinks I am all on a fire , which certainly at this instant would exhale me , did not your Christian patience assist me , which leads me to the third sort of men , on which we must exercise our hate , and in the first place I beseech you , Looke not my beloved so amased and distractedly on one another , for I will speake unto you in a softer tone , and in the voice of gentlenesse . There be a third sort of men , I say , who live amongst us yet are not of us , nay they are rather directly against us , and they are they who inveigh against our assemblies , deride the purity of our doctrine , and scorne our instructions , of these we ought to be more wary , the more slily they carry themselves amongst us , and the neerer they are unto us they will prove more dangerous . As he was preaching this , Captaine Bird and one Eeles his quartermaster were with some others at the outside of the house where this congregation was assembled , and overheard this doctrine , and with some impatience attended the end of this Sermon . Beloved , wee have more ill birds I am afraid then Wren , and some fish too that are even as bad as Fish the Proctor . Beloved , there are fish known to most of this assembly by the name of Eeles : these Eeles as the gravest writers doe affirme delight in the most nethersome part of the water , or in the mudde from whence they doe proceed : Besides , they are of a slimy and slippery nature , slimy by reason of their propensnes unto the act of generation , and slippery by reason of their craft and ficklenes ; this fish beloved ( if we may beleeve Antiquity ) hath a head and body resembling the old Serpent from whence it doth derive its subtilty , and instead of speaking , it hisseth . I pray God ( my brethren ) we have not some such fish neere us , and who sometime like the Serpent in Paradice come creeping in , even into this congregation of the Saints . Beloved , we ought I say with all care and circumspection to looke about us , and to prosecute them with the extremest hate ; wherefore if any such shall attempt to circumvent us , and beare ill will unto our assemblies , let one of them be as Anathema , and the other as Maranatha . I will speake now but a word or two by the way of motive to exhort you to love one another , and so I will conclude . Doe you labour to love one another ? doe you instantly and earnestly desire it ? then you must love mee who am your teacher , who takes paines to informe and direct you in the right way , who do distill into your eares the doctrine of sincerity , and keepe more close unto my text then the aged man unto his chimney , or the lame man to his stilt , or the hungry man to his food : But some may here object , how may we expresse our love unto you : My brethren and sisters I will answer it briefly by enlarging your stipends and contributions to me , doe it beloved cherefully , cherefully , a cherefull giver is most excepted . You know when my sonne Iqnathan was borne what trouble I endured , what charges I was put to because I refused to have him buried according to the superstition of the English Church , and when my daughter Abigall was borne , you know againe what persecutions ensued on me , because out of the tendernesse and purenes of my conscience ( which I hope you all have ) I would not have him Baptized at any prophane Font , which hath bin corrupted with the superstitious Lyturgy of the Church of England , and made odious to all good Christians by the often figuring of the Idolatrous signe of the crosse . These troubles beloved have befalen me , and you know not how soone they may come upon your selves , wherefore deale bountifully with me who am ordained to be your example , and if you will ever love one another learne to love me in the first place , so shall the text and I and you come together in the end , and agree in this great and happy point of loving one another . FINIS . 
A64179	----	Lvcifers lacky, or The devils new creature being the true character of a dissembling Brownist whose life is hypocriticall, instructions schismaticall thoughts dangerous, actions malicious and opinions impious : with the relation of their repulse from the Parliament house upon Thursday the 4 of December : and the reason why constables had warrants in the city and liberties of London to take up men to guard the Parliament-House upon Friday the 12 of December, 1641. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64179 of text R7096 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T477). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 6 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 4 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64179 Wing T477 ESTC R7096 12988718 ocm 12988718 96289 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64179) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 96289) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 256:E180, no 3) Lvcifers lacky, or The devils new creature being the true character of a dissembling Brownist whose life is hypocriticall, instructions schismaticall thoughts dangerous, actions malicious and opinions impious : with the relation of their repulse from the Parliament house upon Thursday the 4 of December : and the reason why constables had warrants in the city and liberties of London to take up men to guard the Parliament-House upon Friday the 12 of December, 1641. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [7] p. Printed for John Greensmith, London : 1641. Attributed to John Taylor. Cf. BM. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Dissenters, Religious -- England. A64179 R7096 (Wing T477). civilwar no Lucifers lacky, or, the Devils new creature. Being the true character of a dissembling Brownist, whose life is hypocriticall, instructions s Taylor, John 1641 999 1 0 0 0 0 0 10 C The rate of 10 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-10 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion LVCIFERS LACKY , OR , The Devils new Creature . BEING The true Character of a dissembling Brownist , whose life is hypocriticall , instructions Schismaticall , thoughts dangerous , Actions malicious , and opinions impious . With the Relation of their repulse from the Parliament house upon Thursday the 4. of December And the reason why Constables had warrants in the City and Liberties of London to take up men to guard the Parliament-house upon Friday the 12. of December , 1641. LONDON , Printed for Iohn Greensmith , 1641. LVCIFERS Lacky , OR , The Divels new Creature . IT is but very requisite that J should begin this short Treatise with the words of our Saviour , that a Kingdome divided cannot stand . Oh then poore England in what a miserable estate art thou groaning under the burthen of so many Divisions . Thy Townes and Cities are filled with a company of Yeas and Verilies , whose tongues and harts doe as much differ as truth and errour , they plead for conscience forsooth , & they will hazard their eares rather then loose the truth , they stand in defiance against Bishops , and the Booke of Common Prayer with them is abhominable , the Lettime hath too many by 's in it , in which judgement ( in my opinion ) they sell their reputations and pawne their credits to the Arch-Broker the Divell , who at the last day , the day of judgement will require more then ten in the hundred of them . The Tap as they professe is abhominable , and yet they doe Jdolize the Tub , which as they suppose doth consecrate their devotion instead of a Pulpit , the Congregation being assembled , rather dissembled in a Barne top . They affirme that Papists are damned , Arminians shall not enjoy Heaven , for why , they are like to a greene stick which doth bowe too much . They pitty Adamites and doe proffer them garments because they know they will not receive them , they seeme more innocent then Do●es , and yet will be accounted as wise as Serpents . They professe they will honour all teachers vnlesse the Pope , and yet will be ready to raise an vnnaturall siege against their owne Father if hee doe but crosse them . They would be accounted all friends to Down-right , but yet cannot effect plaine Dealing or Tom-tell-troth . They love their Neighbour as themselves , they say , but they must not then if Males be Widdowers or being married have vnhandsome wives . They say they would have Religion reformed , and the true Church onely to be adored , adored say I , the Parson may chance to have a scrape on the Sunday morning , and it shall be accounted no prejudice to their Hobnayles , otherwise all outward worship and Ceremony , and that their seeming Piety doth spit , at the name of Jesus no knee must bow except that of the heart , although hee that saved the one , saved the other , and hee that made the one made the other . This sort of people were not once a handfull , and then crept in corners , but now they are like to the AEgyptian Locust covering the whole-Land , and they will rule Religion , nor Religion them , or else they will goe against Religion , as the Iewes did to meet our Saviour with Swords and staves , and there is not amongst them onely one Iudas , but many which seeke to betray it . And yet are there amongst this holy assembly ( as they tearme themselves ) as many severall opinions , as men , which will easily be made manifest by their last Congregation in the Malt-house of one Iob a Brewer , the number being about sevenscore , there had every one a Religion by himselfe , and every one a nigher way to Heaven than the other , each shewed his opinion , which to relate it would be too tedious , but their ambitious zeale was so hot , that in snuffe each left the other , but not long after the Reverend Box-maker elevated as high as little St. Bartholmewes Pulpit , where he threw more stones against the Bishops and the booke of Common Prayer , then little Boyes use to doe Snow-balls in the time of Winter . What shall I say of this sort of people ? Shall I commend their Actions ? God forbid . They goe about to rob Levi of his due , and it is to be feared least that vnawares they deceive the Tribe of Iudah . Twice have their troopes been collected being armed with Swords and staves , and what place have they gone to besiege , a place of no lesser consequence then the Parliament house . The first day was upon Thursday the 4. of Decemb. the second upon Friday the 12 of December , upon the first day the Trayne Band ceazed upon them , not knowing otherwise but that they came against the Parliament house , but their plea was they came to defend the truth , but it was very true that many of them were committed to prison . Vpon Friday notice was given to the Parliament , how that their number was so great , so that instantly there was warrants sent vnto each Constable to command sufficient men , with swords , and Halberts , to guard the Parliament house from Schismaticall oppression ; all shcismaticks good Lord either convert , or confound , that this Kingdome may conclude of nothing , but what may be pleasing In thy sight . FINIS . When Women Preach , and Coblers Pray , The fiends in Hell , make holiday . 
A64180	----	Mad fashions, od fashions, all out fashions, or, The emblems of these distracted times by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64180 of text R16195 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T478). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 11 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64180 Wing T478 ESTC R16195 12598957 ocm 12598957 64101 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64180) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 64101) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 250:E138, no 30) Mad fashions, od fashions, all out fashions, or, The emblems of these distracted times by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [8] p. Printed by Iohn Hammond for Thomas Banks, London : 1642. In verse. Illustrated t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Great Britain -- History -- Civil War, 1642-1649 -- Poetry. A64180 R16195 (Wing T478). civilwar no Mad fashions, od fashions, all out of fashions, or, The emblems of these distracted times. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John 1642 1933 4 0 0 0 0 0 21 C The rate of 21 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-06 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-08 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion MAD FASHIONs , OD FASHIONS , All out of Fashions , OR , The Emblems of these Distracted times . By Iohn Taylor . LONDON , Printed by Iohn Hammond , for Thomas Banks , 1642. Mad fashions , od fashions , all out of fashions , OR , The Emblems of these distracted times . THe Picture that is Printed in the front Is like this Kingdome , if you look upon 't For if you well doe note it as it is , It is a Transform'd Metamorphasis . This Monstrous Picture plainely doth declare This land ( quite out of order ) out of square . His Breeches on his shoulders doe appeare , His doublet on his lower parts doth weare ; His Boots and Spurs upon his Armes and Hands , His Gloves upon his feet ( whereon he stands ) The Church or'e turnd ( a lamentable show ) The Candlestick above , the light below , The Cony hunts the Dogge , the Rat the Cat , The Horse doth whip the Cart ( I pray marke that ) The Wheelbarrow doth drive the man ( oh Base ) And Eeles and Gudgeons flie a mighty pace . And sure this is a Monster of strange fashion , That doth surpasse all Ovids Transformation . And this is Englands case this very day , All things are turn'd the Cleane contrary way ; For Now , when as a Royall Parliament , ( With King , and Peers , and Commons whole consent ) Have almost sate two yeeres , with paines and Cares , And Charge , to free us from our Griefes and feares , For when many a worthy Lord and Knight , And good Esquire ( for King and Countreys Right ) Have spent so much time with Great Toyle , and Heede , All Englands , Vicious garden how to weed , So like a Wildernesse 't was overrun , That though much hath been done ; All is not done . The Devill doth perswade , entice and lurke , And force bad men to set good men aworke . That whilst the Worthies strive to right our wrongs , And give to each man , what to him belongs ; Whil'st they take paines to settle all things heere , And Irish Devill , doth madly domineere . From Hells black Pit , begirt with Romish Armes , Thous●nds of Locusts are in Troopes and Swarmes , More Barbarous then the Heathen , worse then Iewes , No Turke or Tartars would such Tortures use . Sure that Religion can no wayes be good , That so inhumanly delights in Blood : Nor doth that doctrine from the Scriptures spring , That Subiects should Rebell against their King . Nay ( further ) murder , ravish , spoile , deflowre , Burne and lay waste , depopulate , devoure , Not sparing Infants at the Breast or wombe , ( To die where first they liu'd , their Birth , their Tombe ) 'T is said no Serpent , Adder , Snake , or Toade , Can live in Ireland , or hath there aboade : 'T is strange that shee those Vipers doth not Kill , That Guawes her Bowells , and her blood doth spill , Can Irish Earth Kill all things vennemous , And can shee nurse such Vermin Mischievous : Her owne sonnes Native , worse then Strangers Borne , They have their Mothers Entrailes rent and torne , Yet still her Indulgencie , harbours those , And feeeds those Rebells that doe breed her woes : God ( in thy Mercy ) give her strength and Ayde , And courage , make her foes and ours dismay'd , Thou Lord of Hosts , thine owne cause take in hand , Thy foes ( Thine Antichristian foes ) withstand ; Defend thy truth , and all our Armies guide , Our enemies to scatter and devide . Thus leaving Ireland ( with my hearty prayers ) To Brittaine back againe my Muse repaires : Where I perceive a Metamorphosis , Is most preposterous , as the Picture is , The world 's turn'd upside downe , from bad to worse , Quite out of frame , The cart before the Horse . The Fe●t-maker , and sawcie stable Groome Willd●re to Pearch into the Preachers Roome , Each Ignorant , doe of the Spirit Boast , And prating fooles brag of the holy-Ghost , When Ignoramus will his Teacher Teach , And Sow-gelders , and Coblers dare to preach , This shewes , mens witts are monstrously disguis'd , Or that our Countrey is Antipodis'd . When holy Common Prayer , is by the Rable Accounted Porredge , and unfruitfull Babble , When our Beliefe is not so much as sed , When as the Ten Commandments are not read , When as the Lords Prayer is almost neglected , When as all decencie is quite reiected , When to avoid a Romish Papists name , A man must be unmannerly , past shame , When he that doth shew Reverence , doth offend , And he seems best that will not bow or bend , When he that into Gods House doth not come , As to a Stable , or a Tipling Roome , Is counted for a Popish favorite , And branded so , despis'd , and scorn'd with spite . When He that ( of his waves ) doth conscience make , And in his heart doth world , flesh , feind forsake , Loves God with all his soule ; adores no pelfe , And loves his Neighbour , as hee loves himselfe , This man is Rare to finde , yet this Rare man Shall have the Hatefull name of Puritan ; When execrations pierce the firmament , And oathes doe batter 'gainst Heavens Battlement : When Imprecations , and damb'd Blasphemies , In sundry cursed volleys scale the Skies , When men more Bruitish then the Horse or Mule , Who know not to obey , presume to Rule , Thus Church and Common-wealth , and men , all are ( Much like the Picture ) out of frame or square . And if 't were possible our fathers old Should live againe , and tread upon this mould , And see all things confused , overthrowne , They would not know this Countrey for their owne . For England hath no likelyhood , or show Of what it was but seventy yeeres agoe ; Religion , manners , life and shapes of men , Are much unlike the people that were then , Nay Englands face and language is estrang'd , That all is Metamorphis'd , chop'd and chang'd , For like as on the Poles , the VVorld is whorl'd So is this Land the Bedlam of the VVorld ; That I amazed , and amated am , To see Great Brittaine turn'd to Amsterdam , Mens braines and witts ( two simples beat together ) From thence ( mix'd and compounded ) are sent hither . For Amsterstam is landed ( as I heare ) At Rye , or Hastings , or at Dover Peere , At Harwich , Ipswich , Sandwich , or at Weymouth , At Portsmouth , Dartmouth , Exmouth , Plimouth , Farmouth , At Yarmouth , and at all the Ports to Tinmouth ; And westward unto Bristow and to Monmouth ; From all these Mouthes and more , mad sects are sent , VVho have Religion all in pieces Rent , One would have this , Another would have that , And most of them would have they know not what . God give us peace , and ease us of our paine , And send those sects , from whence they came againe , The Papist , and the Schismatique ; both grieves The Church , for shee 's like Christ ( Between two Thieves . ) I took the Protestation twice of Late , VVhere I protested not to Innovate . ' Tavoide all Popish Rites , and to expresse Obedience to what Englands Church professe , My Loyalty unto my King is bent VVith duty to the Peers and Parliament . VVith Prayers , and my best service for them all , That on them may Heavens chiefest blessings fall , That with one heart , as one man , with one minde , ( For Gods great glory ) they may be combinde , And never vary , but goe boldly on , To end the good worke , which they have begun . This is the Sum ( which ne'er shall be forsooke ) Of what I in the Protestation tooke . But , for all this , I may be mannerly In Gods House , and be free from Papistrie ; I hope I may put off my hat , and be Allow'd to Kneel , and Pray , and Bow my Knee , VVhen as divine Command bids , onely then I 'le Bow to God , and not to Saints , or Men . And from those dueties I will never vary Till death , or Order doe command contrary . Th' Almighties Name be ever prays'd and blest , That Romish superstition is supprest , VVee have no Abbyes , Abbots , Friars , or Monks , Nor have we Nuns , or Stewes allow'd for Punks , VVee have no Masses , or no Mass-Priests heere , But some are hang'd , and some are fled for feare . All those that are so bold to stay behind , I wish they may like entertainment finde ; Beades , Bables , Relliques , Tapers , Lamps or Lights , Wee have no superstitious Romish Rites , Wee seek our Pardons from our Heavenly Hope , And not by works , or favour from the Pope ; To Saints we make no prayer , or Intercession , And unto God alone wee make Confession ; Wee hold no Reall Presence in the Bread , And wee doe know King Charles our supreame head ( Beneath God , who hath plac'd him in his Throne ) For other Supreame , wee acknowledge none . No Purgatory , Image , Wood or Stone , No Stock , or carved Block , wee trust upon , Nor is our Church discretion heere so little , As to Baptize with Cream , with salt and Spittle . VVee have as many Sacraments , as Heaven Ordain'd ; which are but two , and Rome hath seven . VVee doe not Christen Bells , and give them Names Of Simon , Peter , Andrew , Iohn and Iames ; VVee use no Pilgrimage , or Holy-water , Nor in an unknowne tongue our Prayers scatter ; All these , and many more , in Rome are us'd VVhich are by us reiected and refus'd . And yet too many faults , alas remaines , VVhich are the Churches , and the Kingdomes staines , The Church Triumphant is not cleere from spots , The Poore Church Millitant hath still some blots , Heer 's all unperfect , somthing 's still amisse , And nothing's blest , but in Eternall Blisse . Meane time , till wee amend , and leave our crimes , The Picture is the Emb●em of the Times . FINIS . 
A64181	----	Mercvrivs Aqvaticvs, or, The vvater-poets ansvver to all that hath or shall be writ by Mercvrivs Britanicvs Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64181 of text R8378 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T481). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 48 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 12 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64181 Wing T481 ESTC R8378 11981970 ocm 11981970 51873 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64181) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 51873) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 233:E29, no 11) Mercvrivs Aqvaticvs, or, The vvater-poets ansvver to all that hath or shall be writ by Mercvrivs Britanicvs Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [4], 121-126, [12] p. Printed in the waine of the moone pag. 121, and number 16, of Mercurius Britanicus, [Oxford] : 1643. Reprint of Mercurius Britannicus, no. 16, Dec. 7-14, 1643, p. 121-126, that Taylor half parodies, half satirizes, piece by piece. Wing gives imprint as 1644. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Great Britain -- History -- Civil War, 1642-1649. A64181 R8378 (Wing T481). civilwar no Mercurius Aquaticus, or, The vvater-poets ansvver to all that hath or shall be writ by Mercurius Britanicus. Ex omni ligno non fit Mercurius Taylor, John 1644 7761 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-07 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-10 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion MERCVRIVS AQVATICVS , OR , THE VVATER-POETS ANSVVER TO ALL THAT hath or shall be Writ by MERCVRIVS BRITANICVS . Ex omni ligno non fit MERCURIUS . Printed in the Waine of the Moone Pag. 121 , and Number 16 , of Mercurius Britanicus . 1643. MERCVRIVS AQVATICVS Confuting the Fooleries of BRITANICUS . BE it known to all People to whom these presents shall come , that I Thorny Aylo Water-Poet Laureat ( if my place be not sequestred for the use of Tho. May for his Poeticall relation of his Excellencies Victory at Newbury , and more Poeticall interpretation of TOUCH NOT MINE ANOYNTED ) whose Pegasus was a Wherry , and whose Helicon the Thames , till all Wit and Honesty were banished out of London , except what lies 〈◊〉 in the Close-Committee ) doe resolve once and but once to take into little consideration , one that calls himselfe by the high and mighty title of Mercurius Britanicus , who by Order of the House is made Receiver Generall of all Quibbles , Crops , Clinches , Puns , Halfe-jests , jests , fine sentences , witty-sayings , rare truths , modest and dutifull expressions that are to be found within the Line of Communication , to the utter undoing of poor Mercurius Aulicus , did not such a doughty Squire as my selfe daigne to take up that Paper which Aulicus scorns to touch for feare of fouling his fingers . ) And though I count the employment more fit for some Scavinger or Gregory , then my selfe , yet that the City may no longer worship a Calfe ( set up since the demolishing of Cheapside-crosse ) and that the Abettors of such horrible empty Libells , may see that 〈◊〉 is not safe witt . I shall for once undertake him . And because I have as little skill in Iudiciall Astrology as Booker , I have calculated his Nativity , and find the Moon ( not Mercury ) Lord of the Ascendent . This makes the poor mans cold , thin , waterish Braine so subject to ebbs and flowes , which enclines him to Moon-fits , and Lunacy . This makes him to rave and snap , to fome at Mouth , and drivell like a mad dogge . And therefore because I have some skill in Medicines ( though I cannot cure the Lowsy disease ) I shall venture to cure his biting with a piece of his own Liver . But because he admires his own language ( having a very Vnhappy Wit ) he shall receive his answer in That , the Persons and Scene only altered for my little Wit-cracker . Mutato nomine de Te Fabula . You see I have gathered some scraps of Latin since I came to the Vniversity ; if it please the City , they may petition that the Synod may be sent hither to learne some also . And now rumpantur ut ilia Codro , here enters Mr Rhombus Britanicus , chiefe Pedagogue to all the Puisney Newes-mongers , from the A. B. C. three daies Informer , to the Lyar of the first forme , the Scottish Dove , his face of late more plump and ruddy since imployment , but his haire somewhat shorter , his skull ( or place where his Braines should be ) covered with halfe a dozen Night-caps ; to keepe it from adling this Winter ( how now man ? if Sir Iohn left Winter at Glocester , who has left it at London , there is a true Iest now , but just of thy straine . ) Over this a long crown'd Hat ( the last Legacy of a Lay elder of Amsterdam ) a Geneva band , Dublet and Hose , out of the Wardrobe for Ireland , which by a mistake and contrary winde , was since carried into New England ; his Gowne well lined Checquee , with Fox and Seale skin , and if after you have heard his Tale , and Aquaticus's Answer , you find no wit in either , then laugh at Britanicus that is such a dull piece to work on . See here he comes , just as he came from London . Mercurius Britanicus : Communicating the affairs of Great BRITAINE : For the better information of the people . Numb. 16. From Thursday the 7 of Decem. to Thursday the 14. Decemb. 1643. THough I thought it beneath my pen to dip into the lies , and follies , and Calumnies of such an Oxford Pamphlet , yet because I was informed it was not the Act of one , but many : viz. Derkenhead the Scribe , 〈◊〉 Nicholas the Informer , George Digby the contriver , and an assessement of Wits is laid upon every Colledge , and paid weekly for the continuation of this thing called Mercurius Aulicus , upon these considerations , and to vindicate the Honour of a Parliament , I tooke my pen , I have discovered the Lies , forgeries , insolencies , impieties , prophanations , blasphemies , Popery of the two sheets , and now I have done ; and you most excellent Senators , that you may see how justly I replyed , and how unjustly ye are calumniated , I have summed up his last abused printed at Oxford , formerly an Vniversity , now a Garrison of Popery , His Majesties own Royall Court for the recreation of their Nobility , and Gentry , and Clergy , and other Liege People . A Catalogue of the Abuses , Reproaches , and Calumnies ; against this present Parliament , this last week in the first sheet . 1. Rebells at Westminster . 2. Pretended houses . 3. East-Indian Legislatours . 4. Turkes . 5. Pretended Houses . 6. Pretended Houses . 7. A groundlesse horrid Rebellion . 8. The Frauds and Pretences of the Rebells at Westminster . 9. Their bloudy League at London . 10. Forswearers of all peace . 11. Faction . 12. Rebells . 13. Rebells . 14. Rebels . 15. Rebels . 16. Rebels in England . 17. Brownists . 18. Anabaptists . 19. An Order of the House to the eternall shame of the Rebels at VVestminster . 20. Pretended House of Commons . 21. Pretended Houses . 22. The pretended two Houses . 23. The Faction . 24. The Rebels at VVestminster . 25. Faction and Pretended Houses . Reader this is a just account of the first shect of that idle , scurrilous , ridiculous , treasonable , insolent Pamphlet , do you thinke this is written in defence of the priviledges of Parliament ? Are not here a reasonable company of abuses to be in the Preamble of the Pamphlet ? What will these act abroad amongst a credulous and seduced people , especially so religiously , and devoutly begun upon Sundayes , but I cannot stirre till I Petition his Majestie . The Humble Petition of Britanicus to his Majestie . MAy it please your Majestie , after so much bloodshed of your owne Subjects , after so many plundrings by your Royall Nephewes , be pleased to remember your 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 of your care and respect to your two Houses , that they should be as dear to you , as your honour and 〈◊〉 , be pleased to 〈◊〉 you called them your Parliament in your late Treaty , and now there is a Pamphlet , a thing , a 〈◊〉 of sheets , a Mercurius Aulicus , abuses , rails , miscalls your Majesties Supreame Court , and your 〈◊〉 too , in your politicall 〈◊〉 : I beseech your Majesty if those Declarations or Protestations were of your Majesties own making , remember them and your Royall obligations , if not , Your Petitioners shall ever pray , &c. This is my Petition to his 〈◊〉 , but there are so many 〈◊〉 Counsellers about him , I despaire of prevailing , when his great Councell the Parliament cannot be heard ; nay now when Davis the Barbar is turnd privy Councellor too , I never look to see his Majestie trimmed hereafter for the Protestant Religion , for I am informed that fellow shaves with Popish Rasors , and cuts with 〈◊〉 Sissars , and washes in holy water , there are diverse bottles come 〈◊〉 to the Court sent from his holinesse own Barbour . Aulicus tells us , that the Parliament hath given power to the East-Indian . Merchants to impose new Laws ; Aulicus , is not this a more precious Act to keep up Trading , then to plunder it , and to give power for Laws , then to take away all power and Laws too , as your Party , in all places they come , do ; nor do they give power to them to impose Laws , but to contrive and suggest , as no Councell , 〈◊〉 estate in the world but will take hints at Inferiours , especially those that are 〈◊〉 and knowing men ; but I must tell you , that the Merchants , though they trade in East India , yet their Factors say that the Indians are better to trade with , and converse with , then your 〈◊〉 , and have lesse Barbarisme and inhumanity . He tells us of the Parliament that 〈◊〉 ordered the Assembly to write Letters to stirre up the Netherlands , and other parts in the Cause : Aulicus it is time I thinke , had they not need to write to 〈◊〉 States , and all the Reformed Churches , when you at Oxford have sent your Mendicant Epistles to the Pope and Cardinall , and are at this time electing Doctor Cousins 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 - flamen to go a pilgrimage to the Monasteries , and Priories , and Popish States for their assistance and Contributions , you have sent old Goring the Publican into Holland , and so to France , he is excellent at an Ambassage of Monopolizing , and a very worthy Patriot at a Project of soape or Salt-peeter . He tels us of the Lord of Ormonds Warrants for transporting the Regiment : Reader this is Ormond the Apostate , who was hired from the Parliament and Protestant Cause with the title of a 〈◊〉 , this is he that fought very well , till he got his Iewell , and for the other Diamond the Parliament might have bought him againe . He tells us of the oath that Ormond administers to all that comes over ; 〈◊〉 you must know that is the old pollicie still , to sweare them for the Protestant Religion ; and it is resolved on at the Cabinet or 〈◊〉 in the Queenes Closet , that Popery be not named yet , till the Protestants be a little more cut of their wits , which they hope will be soone effected by companying together , and having Churches together , and by bringing the Masse and the Common-prayer a little better acquainted , but the oath begins . I. A. B. resting fully assured ; viz. ( that his Majestie will ruine his Kingdome of Ireland and England with running these courses ) I will 〈◊〉 the true Protestant Religion established in the Church of England , viz ( in York Minister , or Saint Maries in Oxford , or any such reformed 〈◊〉 all : ) against all the Forces now under the conduct of the Earle of Essex : viz. ( because they fight for the Protestant Religion , and Laws , and Liberties : ) and I will do my utmost to procure the Peace and quietnesse of the Kingdome of England : viz. ( by 〈◊〉 obbing , fighting , pillaging , and plundering , killing , and destroying ) He tells us of a Victory they had upon us at Stafford : and Reader , it was thus ; they had two Troopes to charge us , and we took the most of them : and yet Aulicus has the conceit they had the day , and we their men and horses ; I know not how to distinguish upon dayes and victories , but I think it is not usuall to conquer , and be routed both at a time , but this is not the first victory they have given thanks for , witnesse Edgehill and Newbury , two places in which they were soundly beaten into a day of thanksgiving . He tells us of Sir William Breretons Letter to the Irish Commanders to leave fighting , and expounds every line of it as he did a Chapter in the 〈◊〉 , where he took his Text it seems last Sunday in 〈◊〉 sorenoon , and expounded Sir William Breretons Epistle in the afternoone , and so he divided the Sabbath . He tels us of the Letter which the Irish Commanders returned to Sir Williams . Gentlemen we were not engaged to the service of Ireland otherwise then by the Kings Commission : no , did you fight neither for God , nor your Countrey ? the service we have done ; in leaving the Kingdome of Ireland to the mercilesle bloudy Rebels , and making a base , dishonourable , and irreligious Peace : envy it selfe dares not extenuate , why do you threaten her ? it is pitty such deserving Gentlemen were not landed in a richer Teritory then Wales : and though we are very sensible , of the good plunder in England , and of every thing but Popery : how worthily we have carried our selves , in comming 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 from fighting against the 〈◊〉 in Ireland , to fight for them in England : by your preteneded Parliament , a very old title ; Aulicus taught you 〈◊〉 yet we are not returned hither without his Majesties speciall Commission : we are more sorry to heare his Majesty hath such a hand in it , you doe well to confesse the truth : If you have the like Commission 〈◊〉 the King : no , we should be sorry we had , nor could we ever get so near him for evill Counsellors , that have stood in the way : we shall Treat with you : you are good at 〈◊〉 , you came lately from a bloody pacification in Ireland , and the drops of so much innocent bloud sticks upon your cloathes yet , otherwise you must give us leave : What to doe , to murder his Majesties Subjects , to bring in Popery and 〈◊〉 to carry our selves like 〈◊〉 and Loyall Subjects , in killing and plundring Michael Earnele , Francis Butler . Richard Gibson , Edward Hamond . George 〈◊〉 . These are the names , if any man can charge them with more then I have done . 〈◊〉 , if I say no more to thee at this time , thank the 〈◊〉 of Master Pym . The Intelligence . I Shall begin at Glocester with news , that very place where Colonell Massey 〈◊〉 against the whole Army , against all their shot , and oathes , and execrations , that very place where his Excellency arrived with no lesse honour then he returned , it being 〈◊〉 a question , whether of his Lawrels were the best , that of Glocester , or that of Newbury : Not farre from this City , at Newnam , Colonell Sir Iohn Winter would needs set up a new Government , and had some Forces from the Lord Herbert , as many as he could well spare , to be beaten at one time ; but Colonell Massey , I meane that same Colonell that was attended by his Majesties Army so long , went with a Party from his Garrison , and dissolved Sir Iohn Winters Government , and dis-garrisoned his Army Royal , and his plundered cattell , so as they all run away , crying , all was lost , after Sir Iohns owne example : but I conjecture the cause was , for that Colonel Winter was of too cold a constitution for Colonell Masseys hot Alarme : but that which is strangest in that defeat , Sir Iohn run away , and yet left Winter behinde him . I should tel you more Intelligence , but I am not able at this time to write beyond Master Pym , and this Elegie I shal sacrifice to his Hearse . An Elegie on Master Pym . NO immature or sullen Fate Did his immortall soul translate , He passed gravely hence even Kept the old pace , from earth to heaven ; He had a soule did alwaies stand Open for 〈◊〉 , like his hand , He took in so much , I could call Him more then individuall , And so much businesse waited by , Would scarcely give him leave to dye ; He knew the bounds , and every thing Betwixt the people and the King ; He could the just Proportions draw Betwixt Prerogative and Law ; He liv'd a Patriot here so late , He knew each syllable of State , That had our Charters all been gone , In him we had them every one ; He durst be good , and at that time When innocence was halfe a crime ; He had seen death before he went , Once had it as a token sent : He surfeted on State affaires , Di'd on a Plurisie of cares , Nor doth he now his mourners lacke , We have few soules but go in black , And for his sake have novv put on A solemne Meditation . Teares are too narrovv drops for him , And private sighes , too strait for Pym ; None can compleatly Pym lament , But something like a Parliament , The publike sorrow of a State , Is but a griefe commensurate , We must enacted passions have , And Lawes for vveeping at his grave . Printed according to Order , for G. B. and R. W. Mercurius Aquaticus his Answer to BRITANICUS . Though I thought it beneath my penne to dip into the lies , 〈◊〉 , and Calumnies of such a foolish London pamphlet , yet because I was informed , it was 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 of one but many , which for a while made mee think this monster-piece of vanitie was the abortive issue of Mr Saltmarsh the Scribe , 'till I remembred he had spent more then all his own Wit upon his Epigrammatasacra : the Close-Committy the Informer , till I considered that it stood not with the Policy of their State , that they should informe any but the Close-Committee of thē Common-councell , that should inform Captain Ven , that should inform the Prentises and Butchers when 't was fit to make a tumult at 〈◊〉 , and the Brownists when at Westminster , and also the Woemen and Schoole-boyes to petition against Popery & evill Counsellors ; Tom May the Contriver and chiefe Engineer , but that I thought he was better at Translation then Invention ) and especially because I heard an assessement of 〈◊〉 was laid upon the Synod , and every Lecturer , and private conventicler , from Mr Marshall at Margarets to Green the Feltmaker in the Tub , and paid wéekly for the continuation of this thing called 〈◊〉 Britanicus , upon these considerations , and not to vindicate Aulicus , ( who is only unhappy in that he must weekly write to their capacity who have no more Brains then Britanicus ) I resolved to take 〈◊〉 Pen , 〈◊〉 discover the Fooleries , 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 , Brownism , 〈◊〉 of the one sheet ; and now I have done , and you most worthy Patriots and Noble 〈◊〉 , whose valour and loyalty are the constant 〈◊〉 of Aulicus , that you may see how 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 reply , and how uniustly you and Anlicus are calumniated , I have summed 〈◊〉 last 〈◊〉 abuses , painted at 〈◊〉 ( 〈◊〉 a scene of Loyalty , and never tainted till now 〈◊〉 was betraid into a Garrison of 〈◊〉 and tame Citizens , that are their own Masters and their own Slaves ) wherein once 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Palace , al waies open for the free 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 all Petitioners , and His Great Councell of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , and 〈◊〉 , and a safe harbour for His Liege People , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of Coblers and Prentises , prodigious Covenants , and 〈◊〉 of Taxes for the propagation of Rebellion , forced all Honest 〈◊〉 thence . A catalogue of the abuses , 〈◊〉 , calumnies , traitereous and Rebellious speeches against His sacred Majesty , the Nobilily , Gentry , and other Liege People this last Week , by which 't is evident the Authors ( for they stile themselves your Petitioners , pa. 122 ) are rather a lunto of Belins-gate Oyster wives , ( whose daughters write short hand , and frequent M. Calamy , Case , Peeters , to furnish out the rayling Conventicle with sanctfied Blasphemies , Treasons , Forgeries , hot from the Pulpit ) then any that favoured of the ingenuity and education of a Scholler , or a Souldier . 1. Secretary Nicholas the Informer , George Digby contriver of the Lyes , 〈◊〉 , and Calumntes of an Drford Pam , phlet . 2. Lyes , forgeries , insolencies , impieties , prophanations , blasphemies of the two sheets . 3. Drford formerly a University now a Garrison of Popery . 4. 〈◊〉 , Scurrilous , ridiculous , treasonable , insolent Pamphlet . 5. Credulous and seduced People to belive Aulicus . 6. * Your Dasesties so much bloodshed of your own Subjects . 7. So many Plunderings by Your Royall nephews . 8. If your Declarations and Protestations were of your Dajesties own making , 9. Evill Councellors about his Dajesty . 10. His Majesty not 〈◊〉 for the Protessant Religion . 11. Irimd with Popish 〈◊〉 , consecrated sissars , and holy water . 12. 〈◊〉 bottles of it sent to Court from his holinesse own Barber . 13. Indians have lesse Barbarisine and inhumanity then his Maajestes best Subjects . 14. Mendicant Epistles sent to the Pope and Cardinalls . 15. Doctor Couns the Arch flamin sent to Popish States for assistance . 16. 〈◊〉 the Publican excellent at monopolizing , a Projector . 17. Drmond the Apostate . A catalogue of other notable Passage . 1. Truths , God blesse us . T is high time for the Parliament , and they had never more need to write for helpe to forraigne States . 2. Politique 〈◊〉 . No Councell nor estate in the World but will take hints at inferiours , especially those that are scientificall and knowing men . 3. Politique discourses . As that of the Cast India Merchants , farre beyond Sir Pol. Onyons , and Tar. Paulin. 4. Subtill distinctions . Of His Majesties Royall Person from His politicall capacity , which savours of the subtill Logick of Goodwin the Socinian , creature to my Lord Say . 5. Grosse forgeries beyond that of the Danish fleet , and the mens Training under ground . As the intelligence from 〈◊〉 . 6. Imitations of Aulicus . As the descanting and Paraphrase on the Irish Oath , and the Commanders letter . 7. Iests , halfe-jefts , Puns , clinches , and Quibbles . I dare throw Winter or Summer with you that there 's none of these in the whole book . 8. Downeright Popery . The Canonization of Mr. Pym before his going into Purgatory , and sacrificing at his hearse . 9. Good Popery . As 〈◊〉 Pyms Clegy . To which adde three tales of a Tub , or three blew beanes in a bladder , and you have the ingredients of the last weeks Britanicus . And Reader this is the just account of the one shéet , of that idle , scurrilous , treasonable , insolent Pamphlet , doe you think this was written to procure the peace of the Kingdome in defence of His Majesties Honour and Prerogative , and to make Him the gloriousest Prince in Christendome . Are not here a treasonable company of abuses , and in the substance of the Pamphlet ? What will these act at home amongst a credulous and seduced people , especially so Religiously Lectured and Trained to Rebellion upon Sundaies ? But I cannot 〈◊〉 till I Petition the New Assembly . The humble Petition of Aquaticus to A NEW ASSEMBLY , prophetically Anagrammatized and called at their Anabaptisme in the River of Bowe MANY BLEW ASSES . MAy it please you , Religions , learned , and reverend Men , fathers , and brethren ( I cry your fatherhoods mercy , if I miscall you , I had the title from Fr : Cheynells discovery , one of the mad Fathers of your fraternity ) after so long sitting to no purpose ; So many Sermons and discourses writ in defence of this present Rebellion , after so many encouragements of the Brownists in all their wild plunderings , after so long 〈◊〉 to the prayers and prayers , and sighes and prayers , and prayers and Sermons of the Lady 〈◊〉 , against the finall falling away of her Knight , be pleased to remember your so often taken oaths of Allegiance and Supremacy , not to be dispensed with all even by pope Calamy and pope Burges , and be sure to take into your misunderstanding the established protestant Religion , and because you intend to alter the Articles of the Church of England , be sure first you send to your Deacon , Sir Harry Vaine the younger , to treat with the Reformed Churches , that this may be done , the Harmony of consessions not withstanding . And because you intend to banish the Common prayer Book out of England , because 't is popishly affected , you were best also silence the use of the Lords prayer , for the same reason , because 't is found in the Masse-book and Ladies Psalter , besides 't is a set forme of prayer , and therefore a stinter of the spirit ; and besides you and your disciples are resolved never to forget trespasses , nor remember benefits . And since you are upon the correcting the Creed , for the cause sake which might be much prejudiced by the Opinion that there 's a Hell , let the article of Christs descent for the word Hell's sake be strook out . Furthermore ( because the lesuits make great use of your Schismes and Factions , saying , that you have more Factions , then Conventicles , more Religions then men ) be pleased in the next place to undertake the reconciliation of the Presbyterians and Independents , the Sabbatarians and Covenanters , with the Antinomians and Libertines , the rigid Calvinists with the Socinians , the protestation and Covenant with the oaths of Supremacy and Allegiance , and last of all your selves with your selves , a work of very easy Taske , especially when the Houses shall recover their power from the Common-councell . Furthermore , I beseech you justifie your selves from the scandall of the Papists , who say , our Religion is but meerly Parliamentary , and subject to translation , for some politick turne , every third yeare , and for proof , they urge the Lay Elders of the House of Commons , a ruling part of your Conventicle , and that you dare not think of any Religion , but what they shall dictate to you . Next I desire you to neglect the true staring of the question of 〈◊〉 , and to consider whether this everlasting Parliament may not be rather proved to be jure divino , from the example of the Iewish * Sanhedrim , then this present Rebellion justified by the example of David ; and that you would also furnish the Brethren , and the 〈◊〉 of the Philistim-writers against Dr Fearne with better arguments and answers , or else wholly to suppresse them ( for this is the Iesuites policy , whose foot-steps you follow , though you goe back wards ) lest the people reading the Doctors arguments , though mangled and abused in their Pamphlets , should at last be undeceived . Lastly , I desire you to state the question affirmatively , that the same person may be a Clergy-man and Lay-man at the same time , because otherwise me thinkes Mr Marshall and Mr Nye , could not be admitted of the Close Committee , nor employed in Embassage to Farraigne States , because a late act this Parliament , forbids Clergy men to intermedle in secular affaires , and if they were Lay-men only , me thinks your grave Fatherhoods would exclude them the pulpit at Margarets . And because you are never like to find Scripture or Reason or Fathers to perswade your Religion , I beseech you to consider of setting the Inquisition up in London , which is already made feasible by the mercifull dealing of the Committee for Religion . Mr. Burton is able to justifie it from Scripture , and Mr Prinne will establish it by Law , and Mr St Iohns shew a President for it , out of the Records in Lowlards Tower . And because you are not to determine any thing , but what is resolved at the Close Committee , and they , at this present have more weighty affaires to consider of then Religion , be pleased at this your leasure ( because you have little else to doe , and you must not go forward with the notes upon the Bible ) to write a weekly comment upon Britanicus , that men may the better understand his hidden wit , or else instead of confuting the lesuits , pray undertake in his behalf the confutation of Aquaticus . And because studying and long prayers , especially disputations in Moode and figure , will extreamly wast your spirits , and haften your death , to the eternall losse of ignorance and Faction , the parents of this zealous Rebellion , be pleased to take a Dose of this Cordiall Fasting . It will preserve your braine and lungs , and keep you from the danger of the Plague plaister , or the infection of an Answer from Oxford to your grave determinations . Pray send the Bill to Mr Pyms Apothecary , who will very carefully compound it . R. Of Sir Harry Vanes Memory . Of Hollands gratitude . Of Martines Continence . Of Wallers Valour . Of the Close Committees honesty . 2 graines . ana . One good look from Mr Perd. Two arguments at Law of Sergeant Wilde owne making . Two ounces of the shavings of his Excellencies Hornes , and an ounce and halfe of the fat of his black Calfe at Chartley. 1 Scruple of conscience of Mr Marshall . 1 Headfull of jealousies of Say and Seale . 1 Heartfull of feares of Nath : Fiennes . 1 Pound of the City slavery , and halfe a dram of your owne Divinity and Logick , ana : 3 Gallons of Orphans and Widdowesteares . Boyle all these the length of a Fast Sermon at Margarets in Balneo , close stop'd with a past made of Pembrookes discretion . Your firing by no meanes must be of New castle Coale , ( 't will send all up in Fumo ) but of Char-cole made out of the Parliaments owne woods in their politick capacity . Let it be constantly blowed with the curses of the Excise . And if any one beleeve the Apostacy of the Saints , and therefore doubts his owne standing to the Cause , you may infuse three drams of Dr Burges his falling from the Sence , and also grace of the House till his late submission . You may take a spoonfull of it Fasting , to the enflaming of your zeale , aswell as the pŕeserving of your health , which I beseech your grave Fatherhoods to have especiall care of , and Your Petitioner shall ever pray , &c. This is my petition to the Synod , ( a little longer I confesse then Britanicus his , but his was made for the Court , and mine for the Round-heads , who love all long , but their haire , especially long eares , that may have wherewithall to suffer Martyrdome , long meales , long graces to help digestion , but there are so many of the Committee for Religion , that watch over them , that 〈◊〉 , spaire of 〈◊〉 , when the great serviceable Rabbie of the 〈◊〉 cannot be heard ; 〈◊〉 , now when Sir Benjamin Rudyeard is turn'd Assembly man too , I never look to sée our Church 〈◊〉 according to the ancient Primitive Form of Doctrine and discipline , which is the same with the 〈◊〉 Religion her established . 〈◊〉 I am informed that Gentleman 〈◊〉 Parsons 〈◊〉 with Brownisticall 〈◊〉 , and cuts Episcopacy with sanctified-presbyterian 〈◊〉 , and 〈◊〉 in holy water of the lake Lemannus . There are 〈◊〉 bottles come lately to the new Assembly , and more are dayly expected from the Close Committees own 〈◊〉 , for the shaving from the face of the Church those superfluous excrements of Cathedrall Lands ; height Mounsieur Salmasius , if the Schollers spell his name right . Aquaticus tells you , that the Parliament did give power to Marshall , and Nye , to contract with the Scots by new Covenants for the ruine of the English Nation , if God prevent not . For shal we thinke the Scots are such fools , if they conquer , to return back againe to their Whig and Scotch porredge , Frost and snow ( and little wood ) from good fetherbeds , gallant houses , English beef , ale , and broad-cloth ? No , Britanicus , if that day once come , the Brotherhood shall find their Brethren of Scotland will be the Elders , and carry away the Land . And is not this a more treasonable Act to destroy Trading , advance Plundering , and ruine the whole Nation , only to secure the five Members ( which yet you see cannot escape Gods vengeance ) from a legall tryall , rather then that of furthering an honest modest petition for peace ? Is not this to give power for licence , and to take away all power and Lawes too , as your party in all places where they come doe ; 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 they only give power to them to impose new Covenants to another Nation , but to contrive and suggest them , as no Councell 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 in the world ever did to such contemptible inferiours , especially to those that are so little Scientificall 〈◊〉 knowing men . But I must-tell my Merchants of London , though they 〈◊〉 greedily trade into Scotland for the present , whatsoever their 〈◊〉 and Lecturers tell them , the Cavaliers are farre better to trade with and converse with then your Round heads , and have a thousand times lesse barbarisme and inhumanity . But they will beleeve this too lat . He tells you of the Parliament that hath ordered the Assembly , that have odrered their Deacon , Sir Harry 〈◊〉 to carry Letters to Zurick , and to 〈◊〉 up the 〈◊〉 and other parts , that in case the Synod should be dissolved they may have a place assigned them to sit in safety , to determine of rules that shall never guide the Brownists and Anabaptists two dayes together . And it seems 't is high time ; when they have sent their 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ( by their two Legats a Latere ) to the Family of Love , their Brethren in Scotland , when old Fines the Publican who hath sate so long at the Receipt of Custome ( so excellent at the contriving and managing a Rebellion , as also at an 〈◊〉 of more contribution to the common Councell , and a very worthy Patriot at a Project of Publick Faith , Land in Ireland , Newcastle Coles and Excise ) now begins as much to despaire of the successe of the Cause , as of freeing Nath : Fiennes , or getting Goodwin , that Arch-Socinian to be admitted into the New Assembly , He tells you of Leslyes Warrants for transporting his fellow Rebells : Reader this is Lesly the same man still , who though he were honoured by His Majesty with the title of an Carle , most unlike a Souldier and a Gentleman basely and ingratefully drawes his sword against his Prince , to whom he was so obliged for his favour , and Pardon . He tells you of the Covenant Lesly administers to all that come over : for you must know it was the old policy still to swear them for the 〈◊〉 Religion ; and it was long since 〈◊〉 on at the Cabinet 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 in Sir Gilbert Gerards Parlour at Harrow o th' Hill , that Brownisme be not named yet , till the 〈◊〉 be a little more out of their 〈◊〉 , by companying together and having Conventicles together , ( where the Candle sometimes most unfortunately is put out , ) and by bringing extemporary nonsense and Blasphemy in fashion , to the dishonour of all Religion , and the contempt of Common-Prayer , but the Covenant begins . I ( Ananias Bodkin ) resting fully assured that His Majesty labours to preserve His two Kingdoms of England and Ireland from ruine , by Lawfull and 〈◊〉 courses ) will endeavour to overthrow the true Protestant Religion established in the Church of England , ( to let up a new nothing not yet hatched at the Close Committee , nor yet thought of by the assemlly , or any Reformed Lecturer ) against all the forces now raised by Commission from his Majesty ( because they fight for the true Protestant Religion Lawes and Liberties ) and I will doe my utmost to destroy the Peace and quietnesse of this Kingdome of England , by robbing , fireing , pillaging , plundring , killing and destroying . Aquaticus 〈◊〉 a great Victory Sir William Waller had upon us at Basing house , whence he carried no lesle then forty or fifty carts of our Wounded prisoners in Triumph , and no lesse then foure or five hundred more dead . Which made the Trained Bands so willing to returne home , that they might proclaime the cowardise of the Cavaliers , and the Valour of Sir William with weeping eyes to their Wives and Children . And yet Aulicus conceits that they had the day , though you carried home the men in Carts . I know not how to distinguish upon daies and 〈◊〉 , but I think it is not usuall to conquer and be routed both at a time , but this is not the first Victory they have given thankes for , witnesse Edge-hill , Brainceford , and 〈◊〉 , three places in which they were 〈◊〉 beaten into a day of 〈◊〉 . He tells you of wise Sir William 〈◊〉 Letter to the Irish Commanders to leave fighting , and erpounded it as seriously as the Assembly will doe the Covenant , or M. Marshall did this piece of Scripture , The good man is perished out of the earth , at the hideing of 〈◊〉 Pym , where he did not as he ought , divide the 〈◊〉 Scripture from the Apochrypha , but tyed the Text and Sermon both together , which was no Sabbaths exercise to the Auditors patience . He tells you of the Letters which the Irish commanders returned to Sir William , which because Britanicus hath printed according to Sir Williams Copy which he sent to the Parliament , and not according to that which was sent to Sir William , I shall forbeare to trouble my selfe and the Reader , by making the man here eat his own words . This piece is so extreame dull and heavk , that t is a taske unfit for a Schooleboy to reply to . But you must pitty the mans heavinesse , for alas he tells us , his Wit run all out at his eyes and nose , at the Funerall of V. Pym . And therefore Reader , if I trouble thee not with this piece of Britanicus , thank the Funeralls of V. Pym . But yet I am sorry , I must tell you , the poore fellow had so good an excuse to be dull and heavy ; and though I cannot make Elegies , yet I pitty poore Iohn Pym , that he fell not by the hand of Iustice , because more ( saies the Help to Discourse , a book I commend to your carefull perusall ) goe to heaven from the Gallowes then the Church-yard , and now for our Intelligence a little truer then Britaxicus his . I shall begin at Glocester with news , that very place whence his Excellency with his whole army run away with no lesse dishonour then he came thither with Feare , it being yet a question whether of his Lawrells were the best , that of Glocester or that of Pewbury , or Edgehill , or Brainceford , or Oxford , where he was well Tamed ( there 's a Pun halfe a dram better then yours upon Sir Iohn Winter . ) Pot farre from this City , yet without the distance of a Mile ( for within that compasse through the mercilesse oppression and cruell plundering of the Rebells in the Towne , the 〈◊〉 were forced to burne downe their own houses ) are Quartered on one side 16. or 1800. old Irish Souldiers , on the other side , the Loyall Welsh , and elsewhere the oppressed inhabitants of the County of Glocester , who are all resolved to be revenged for the cruelty of that Rebellious City , which will put Masser , now a Factor for Rebellion , there to his Familiar Epistles , and humble supplications to his Excellency before Winters done . For Sir Iohn is resolved to stay behind in despight of all 〈◊〉 hot allarmes . Reader this tale upon Sir Iohn was framed at the Staple of Newes , to bring in the Quibble of Winter , and so I leave my pretty Wit-Harmophrodite made up of Orator and Poet , to sacrifice his Elegy at the Hearse of John Pym . But Sir before you go to your devotions , you must tell me whether he was Canonized by the New Assembly ( for some doubt whether a Synod has that power ) or Pope Marshall . And I shall tell you in requitall that you must sacrifice no lame things , and shall therefore advise you to send your third Verse , He passed gravely hence , even to M. Iohn Sedgiwicke , the number of whose fingers will make it commensurate . And so having cost my Reader halfe an hower , and my selfe an afternoone ( my little City Poet ) I leave you as I found you , fit only to write Verses on the Death of Mr PYM . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A64181e-540 §. 1. The ingredients whereof Mercurius Aulicus is composed . § 2. A Catalogue , &c. §. 3. §. 4. Britanicus Petition to the King . §. 5. Small 〈◊〉 to obtaine his Petition , and 〈◊〉 reason . §. 6. The power that is given to the East-Indian Merchants . §. 7. Assembly to write to Forraign States . §. 8. Lord Ormonds VVarrants . §. 9. Ormonds oath to them that come over . §. 10. The oath . §. 11. One of Aulicus his victories . §. 12. Sir VVilliam Breretons Letter . §. 13. The Answer to Sir VVilliams Letter . §. 14. §. 15. Glocester newes . Notes for div A64181e-3610 §. 1. §. 2. * If the Parliament are offended at any thing in Aquaticus , let them consider what t is to suffer such treasonable blasphemies against the Lords Anointed to be priated according to Order . §. 3. §. 4. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . Petition to the NewAssembly . * or LXX §. 5. Small hopes to abtaine his Petition , and the reason . §. 6. The power that is given to Marshall and Nye . §. 7. §. 8. Lord Lessyes Warrants . §. 9. Leslyes Covenant to them that come into England . §. 10. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 §. 11. §. 12. Sir William 〈◊〉 Letter . §. 13. Deest the answer of the Irish commanders . §. 14. §. 15. Glocester newes . §. 16. 
A64183	----	Mercurius Nonsencicus, written for the vse of the simple vnderstander by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64183 of text R2728 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T482A). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 11 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 4 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64183 Wing T482A ESTC R2728 11950476 ocm 11950476 51403 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64183) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 51403) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 516:33) Mercurius Nonsencicus, written for the vse of the simple vnderstander by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 7 p. s.n.], [London? : 1648. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. eng A64183 R2728 (Wing T482A). civilwar no Mercurius Nonsencicus. Written for the vse of the simple vnderstander. By John Taylor. Like to a whirle-wind in a taylors thimble, ... This Taylor, John 1648 2100 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Mercurius Nonsencicus . WRITTEN FOR THE Vse of the simple Vnderstander . By JOHN TAYLOR . Like to a whirle-wind in a Taylors thimble , Or like a gouty Tumbler , quick and nimble , Or like Hay making in a showre of raine , Or like a Wedding where there are not twaine ; This booke compar'd , and uncompar'd you 'l find , As like as is the Water to the Winde . Printed in the Yeere , 1648. Mercurius Nonsencicus . THis age wherein no man knowes whether he lives or not lives , whether he wakes , or dreames ; when he can hardly trust his eares with what he heares , believe his owne eyes , wherewith he sees , or give credit to his owne heart ; with which he payes it with thinking , Round , unsound , as rotten as a rag , with a W for Jack-adandy . A Plot , a Plot , a most horrible , terrible , execrable , detestable , abhominable , and damnable Plot ; discovered strangely upon Newmarket Heath , where ( time out of minde ) there hath been a Vault with a secret unknowne Trap-doore ; which doore being left open ( by negligence ) an old blind Woman stumbled , and tumbled into the Vault , where she saw 40000. Horse , all Man'd , or back'd with brave , bold , desperate , valiant , violent , coragious Don Quixots , Lord Whachums , Knights of the Sunne , and of the Illustrious order of the burning Pestle , with many Reformadoes , and Rodomontadoes , and others : it is a strange discovery that a blind Woman was the first that saw it , and she presently told it to a deafe Woman , the deafe Woman related it to a lame Woman , the lame Woman told it to a dumb Woman , and she came post upon a lame Horse , and discovered the whole busines to me as I have related to you , what it will come to I can tell you , nothing : old time hath made more Metamorphosis lately then ever Ovid did , or could doe ; time hath transformed the signe of St. Martin into a Goat , and old Charing Crosse into Knive hafts , and Salt-sellers , meane Men are Men of meanes , and Men of meanes are meane Men , without meanes , money , Cloathes or creddit : Bulls were wont to beget Calves , but now it is an ordinary thing for Calves to speake Bulls , and create them by word of mouth ; ( as for example ) Goe you three both together , and I will run before you and overtake you presently ; or as a fellow lately ( well filled with drinke ) said that he could drinke noe more then an Apple is like an Oyster ; but he could sleepe like an arrow out of a Bow : and therefore ( Sirra ) have a care how you behave your selfe when you come to present an Apple to my Lords Ape , or my Ladyes Monkey , Kisse your legge and make a hand finely ; and ( for all our fooling ) there are many that did begin a monstrous bigge huge Quarrell , that would be glad to doe their best to be quiet , and end a brabling businesse : twit , twat , tush , puffe , mew , all are but words to fill up a sheet in print ; there is more adoe with Iack-an-Apes then with all the Beares . This is easie stuffe to be read ; but it will trouble a deepe understanding to pick out the meaning ; Homicide , Fratricide , Matricide , Paricide , Regicide ( in the dayes of King Edmund Ironside ) was on the Bank side , and in Cheapside accounted as bad as killing of folkes , blesse us from a mad dogg , and the fall of a Wind-Mill : all Scots be not Knaves , nor are all English men over burthened with honesty ; for though a soft Mault makes a sweet fire , yet all is not Gold that glisters , and there is now as much difference between Egges and Onions as ever there was . When a mans Corps and Capacity are both grosse , it is signe that his Body and his understanding are Twinns ; for though it be a cruel torment for a wise man to be bound in a Chaire whilst a foole talkes him to death , yet I conclude him to be none of the wisest that is overmuch taken in love with any thing that is written in this Pamphlet , neither hath he any other then a Tiffany patience that is very angry at the writer that cares not for it ; truth doth seldome goe without a scratcht face ; and though Mellancholicus and Pragmaticus doe play O Man in desperation , and write odly , madly , yet I am so tame a foole that I doe dare neither to write Knavishly , or speake wisely ; though ( perhaps ) I doe now and then shew my valour in thinking truly . The pestilent penns of pestiferous Pragmaticall , Aquaticall poetasters hath sweat out whole Reames to small purpose ; they have transformed , and metamorphosed Mercurie into more shapes then ever Proteus had : most curiously curious Mercurius hath beene sublimated like a Neapolitan Unguent or Unction with a pretence to cure the Kingdome of the Morbus Gallicus , Arbitrary tyranny ; but all those nimble feather braind , froath witted Mercuriallists have done no better then playd the Iuggling Alchymists ; or like an Imposture Quacksalver hath turned all our money into Quick-silver , with hei presto 't is gone : ( to the Devill I thinke ) my selfe , with some hundreds of the Kings Servants , are in the happy condition of Poets , poore and pennylesse , our Purses being turn'd Brownists , not enduring a crosse to come neer 'em ; but the most of us are practis'd in the Carthusian order , abstinence or fasting ( Nolens volens ) so that whereas in the dayes of Yore , Diebus illis , Halcion times , some grosse witted sonns of ignorance would call us his Majesties Biefe-eaters , or the Kings Cormorants , and other pritty foolish Apellations , and Epethites ; so that if any of us ever were Cormorants , I am sure that most of us are transformed into Camelions , Aire , Smoake , Vapours , words and winde , being our delicate dainty first and second courses ; yet ( by supernall favour and providence ) wee hold up our heads , stand on our feet , looke chearfully , and talke as heartily as some that fare deliciously : we have seene some high floods , and low ebbs , and that part or spoake in Times wheele that is lowest may be raised ; in the meane space we will feede upon hope till we can get better Victualls . Greedy Gatherers of too much Mammon , will ( one day ) finde it like the gathering of so much Manna , it will turne to wormes , and gnaw the Consciences of the avaricious possessors ; great faults are commonly Gentlemen-ushers to great punishmens , one drawes the other after , and as the Thread followes the Needle , even so proditorious , perfidious , and presumptuous actions are dog'd by self guiltines , and doom'd by divine vengance to unavoyded destruction . There is a new trade lately practis'd in England , which is to cut throats , and kill men for 3. or 4 . s . a weeke , they say the Devill himselfe is Master of the Company : the most part , or greatest numbers of this society are so far from the way of Peace , that they hate the peace of their Countrey : they have banished the Peace of Conscience , the Kings peace ( I am sure ) they have broken , and the peace of God , they ( through want of understanding ) have no stomack to . In the Introduction to Grammer ( Vulgarly called the Accidence ) there is the Common of 2 , and the Common of 3 ; but right and true bred English men have beene Gramarians in more Commons then 2 or 3 : we had a House of Commons Renouned , Religious , Venerable , and honourable , and should be in that reverend regard , that detraction ( or distraction ) should not so much as snarle , or grumble against : we see now that honorable House dayly abus'd , traduc'd , and expos'd to the most and worst of what transcendent defamatory tongues , or pennes can ( out of griefe of heart ) inveterate mallice , spleenative envy , or the gall of Bitternesse , speake , write , invent or publish . The Common Wealth is not common , but private , and so private that a few have got all , many have lost all , and the greatest number have ne're a whit ; insomuch that the Common wealth is not the wealth that is common , the want of which hath made me and many thousands to be much troubled with the Kings Evill . The Common prayer was esteemed a good Director ( or Direction ) but now it is contradicted by another Antidirectory , much better then the old one , as some wise men say . The Common Purse is empty , the Common Treasure is invisible ; the Common Counsell are Grave , and wise , and would have all well : there are some good men wanting who should hasten the effecting of the Common safety ; but there is here , there ( but not every where ) a Common Whore that lyes like damnable stumbling blocks , that the Common wayes are filthy , uneven , unmended , and irreparable , whilst our Common misery is continually encreased , repaired , enlarged , extended , and amplified . There are also halfe a dozen of Cases as ablative , genitive , vocative , accusative , nominative ; Reader I request , will , and require you to beare with my misplacing of the cases , I pray you consider that all things are out of order , great men and small men , low men and tall men , be it knowne unto all men that there is a bad Case , a good Case , a base Case , a meane Case , a Trebble Case , a desperate Case , a mad Case , a sad Case , a woefull Case , a wretched Case , a fine Case , and a poore Case , hey all six and six . But hold , hold , wit whither wilt thou , take heed ( old Jack Taylor ) keep thy first principles , stand to thy promise , beware of writing a wise word , it , and , of , for , by , from , to , at , wherefore , it 's no matter when , or why , make an end to no end , and as thy Title was intrincicall , so let thy Epilogue , and Catastrophe be nonsencicall in heroick , duncicall , and naturall , artificiall Verses , beyond the understanding of all the Colledges , or Universities of either Kent or Christendome , Christian or Shropshire man , and let the world know , that by the rules of Gallen , Hippocrates , Avicen , Paracelsus , or Esculapius himselfe , the running gout will never make a good footman . Like to th' embrodered Meadowes of the Moone , Or like the houres ' twixt six and seven at Noone , Or like a Cock that wants Stones , Spurs , and Combe , Or like a Traveller that 's ne're from home , Or like Tobacco that wants stink or smoake , Or like the Devill in Religious Cloake ; Such is this Pamphlet , writ with such advisement , As troubles not the State , or what the Wise meant . FINIS . 
A64184	----	Misselanies, or, Fifty years gathering out of sundry authors in prose and verse being the studious readings, painful collections, and some of them are the composings of the writer and publisher heerof / John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64184 of text R27535 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T483A). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 55 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 21 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64184 Wing T483A ESTC R27535 09929069 ocm 09929069 44365 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64184) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 44365) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1369:6) Misselanies, or, Fifty years gathering out of sundry authors in prose and verse being the studious readings, painful collections, and some of them are the composings of the writer and publisher heerof / John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 40 p. [s.n.], London : 1652. Imperfect: Pages cropped with some loss of print. Reproduction of original in the Harvard University Library. eng Christian life. A64184 R27535 (Wing T483A). civilwar no Misselanies, or, Fifty years gathering out of sundry authors in prose and verse being the studious readings, painful collections, and some o Taylor, John 1652 10364 29 0 0 0 0 0 28 C The rate of 28 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion MISSELANIES Or , fifty Years GATHERINGS , Out of Sundry Authors in Prose and Verse . Being the studious Readings , painful Collections , and some of them are the Composings of the Writer and Publisher heerof . To the Reader . All these things heer collected , are not mine , But divers Grapes , make but one sort of Wine : So I from many Learned Authours took The Various Matters Printed in this Book . What 's not mine own , by me shall not be Father'd , The most part , I in 50. Years have gather'd ; Some things are very good , pick out the best , Good Wits compil'd them , and I wrote the Rest : If thou dost buy it , it will quit thy cost , Read it , and all thy labour is not lost . JOHN TAYLOR . LONDON , Printed in the Yeare , 1652. MISSELANIES . A Christians Crosses do begin his Glory , but not end his Misery : The Crosses figure is the letter Tau ; it is the last and lowest letter in the Hebrew Alphabet , it is an Emblem or mark of Humility , and all that were not marked with that mark , were slain by the Angel , Ex. 9. 4. Adam was not created an Infant , he was made of full strength and vigour , as at 40 or 50 yeares of age , of perfect stature , with an able body , fit for Generation , because he was to be the common Father by whom Mankind should be propagated ; his soul was furnished with all naturall Sciences ; he was the first Doctour to whom all Mankinde was to goe to Schoole , to learn of him ( as of a Master ) the secrets of Nature , the Inventions of Art , the knowledge of God , and the mysteries of Faith . Inveterate and dispitefull malicious Enemies have oftentimes seemed to be reconciled , but it hath been for the plotting , contriving , or attempting some perfidious and mischievous actions ; but they seldom or never did combine for any love which they bare either to the persons , Manners , Laws , or Conditions of each other : For the Heathen Nations had divers severall damnable gods , and detestable Religions , and by reason of their diversities of opinions , they hated one another deadly , with implacable and irreconcileable hatred , yet , in wickedness they could joyn and agree together , against the true God and his Church , as all times , Ages , and Histories have found and declared ; and most excellently hath the Kingly Prophet and Propheticall Psalmist described the doings and qualities of these various people , in the 83. Psalm , where he saith , that , Edomites , Moabites , Ishmalites , Ammonites , Amalekites , Gebalites , the Philistims , Tirrians , and Assyrians , Ephraim against Manesses , Manasses against Ephraim ; and in the New Testament , there are described the sundry Opinions and disagreements of Saduces , Pharisees , Herodians , Libertines , Cilicians , Cirenians , Alexandrians , and Asians , ; Herod against Pilate , Pilate against Herod , yet all friends from the teeth outward , and all agree against God , against the Lords annoynted Christ and his Church ; this they have done , this they doe , and this they will doe in all Ages , and Generations ; and if we have but common sence and reason , we may perceive that those times which we now live in , and Sectaries of these times , may parrellel the worst of times , Sin is of the Devils Creation , The wicked mans Recreation . The Fools immitation , the Courts Ambition , the Cities surfet , and the Countries poyson , Divinity hath opposed and threatned it , Morality hath condemned it , Epigrams hath Jeefd it , Satyrs have whip'd it , and if we do not truly Repent it , God will justly Judge it . Books and Epistles , ( or Letters ) if they treat of Vertue , they are not only good , but the best company a man can keep ; but they are the wisest Counsellors for direction of mens lives and actions ; they have no fearfull hearts , or hearts to fear ; they have no blushing faces , or faces to blush ; they dare boldly call Nero a bloudy Tyrant , Midas a covetous Asse , Sardanapalus a lascivious Effeminate foole , Heliogabalus a wastfull profuse Whoremaster , and Messalina an insatiate and imperious Strumpet ; for Books do never alter their intended purpose , nor breake off their discourse in hope of favour , or fear of mens anger or displeasure . A man that loves me well , and a friend that is firme unto me , they are both rare in these daies , but if I were put to my choise , which of those I would first lose , or part withall , then I would leave my Lover , and keep my Friend : For he that loves may not alwayes be a friend , but it is certain that he that is a Friend alwaies loves . God in pardoning of a sinner shews his great mercy , his not pardoning is no injustice ; for if I do forgive one Debter and sue another , I have shewed kindness to one , and no wrong to the other . Let us doe our best , to doe our best ; and if power be not able , let good endeavour not be idle ; let us be as wise as the unjust Steward , if we cannot pay all that we owe , let us pay all that we are able , for God is so gracious , that with him our good wills are taken for good deeds . Our first miseries came by Eating , and our Saviour suffered 40 daies fasting for it ; then as our Parents did eat themselves and us soul-sick , so we must fast for our souls health ; for as eating with delight expulst us out of the Paradise Terrestriall , so fasting and contrition must be our punishment and practise and helps to bring us to the Heavenly Jerusalem : the Prodigall , by fasting , said , I dye with hunger , and that hunger made him say , I will go to my Father , &c. The Epicures belly is his God , his Kitchin is his Church , his Priest is his Cooke , his Sacrifices are his lushious Dishes , and delicate Sauces , his Prayers , Graces , Psalms , Hymns , and Anthems , are prophane speeches , obscean Rimes , Baudy Songs , lascivious Tunes , and foul impieties . Earth made no account of poor Lazarus when he was alive , and Heaven made 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Dives when he was dead , for the misery of the one ended when the torments of the other began . When the Devill had taken all Job's earthly goods , insomuch that to the appearance of men , he had nothing left him but extream poverty , Botches and Scabs ; some may suppose that the Devill was kind in leaving him his Wife , but the subtile Serpent had a further aime then to leave Job's Wife to be a helper or comfort unto him , he saw that all that had been done to his body , or children , or estate , could not make him impatient to blaspheam , and he knew that the Law was that the Blaspheamer was to be stoned to death ; therefore he left his Wife to vex him , and to tempt him to curse God and die , whereby he had not only lost his life by the Law , but also hazzarded his soule to the Devill for his impatiency and blasphemy . This is the Devils kindness to leave a man a wicked Wife to worke his confusion . Though Churches have the Names of Saints , yet they are the houses of the Lord ; they are dedicated or given to God , therefore they are Gods houses . Bethel was the house of God , Gen. 28. Judg. 18. And before the Temple was built , when Davids son was dead , hee went into the house of the Lord , 2. Sam. 12. The Temple is the house of Prayer , Isa. 56. 7. Mat. 21. 13. Christ cast out and whipt forth of the Temple all the buyers and sellers . Mark . 11. Luk. 19. Jo. 2. All Churches , or houses of Praier are materiall Temples . The Temple of Jerusalem was as the Cathedrall , yet there were in that City 480. Synagogues besides ; all those Synagogues were as materiall Churches for the people to congregat together to serve God ; in many of those Synagogues our Saviour preached often and openly , Joh. 18. 20. Those Houses , which we Christians do call Churches , were to shelter and defend the people in them that did assemble , from the injury and violence of winde and weather . And the people that were , are , or ever shall assemble and meet in the fear of God , in true faith in Jesus Christ , in those materiall Temples or Churches made with hands , those true Beleevers are all in all places , tongues , languages , and Nations , the true Church and spirituall spouse of Christ built upon the Rock . And although materiall Churches of lime and stone may be ruined and spoiled by all consuming Time , or want of repair , or the fury of War , as Jerusalems magnificent Temple and many other Churches have beene and are defaced and defiled . Yet the Church that is not made with hands , that is true , Catholike , and Apostolically founded upon the Rock ; that Church , the Holy Ghost is with alwaies to the end of the World , and the Gates of Hell shall never prevaile against her , Math. 16. But concerning our materiall Churches , they be Gods school-houses , the Preachers ( that are called and sent from God ) are the School-masters and Gods Ushers ; and we are , or should be the Scholers , but wee have madly broke up School , plaid the michers and truants , abused the Schoole-master , and spoyled the School-house . Gentle and good counsell or reprehension are profitable if well bestowed , and humbly accepted ; Apollo was a man endued with eloquence , and mighty in knowledge , and expounding the Scriptures , Acts 18 yet hee came for instruction and counsell to Aquila and Priscilla , a poor simple mechanick man and his wife . For so that good may be done , it matters not how mean , or unlearned , how yong or old the parties are that do it . I do beleeve the Resurrection , though weak women were the first that reported it , Mark 16.9 . Joh. 20. 18. Timothy and John were both very yong when they were called to be Preachers : And Peter , the elder Apostle , was contented to be rebuked by Paul which was the yonger , Gal. 2. Many good men have had children of contrary natures , dispositions , and qualities ; Adam had a cursed Cain , and innocent Abel ; Noah had good Sem , and wicked Cham ; Abraham had carnall Ishmael , and spirituall Isaack ; Isaack had hated Esau and beloved Jacob ; David had wise Salomon , and proud Absolom . One , ( who was accounted a good Protestant ) did absent himselfe from the Church , or Congregation , 5. or 6. years , for which hee was accused to bee turned from his Religion , and fallen into Papistry . And being examined by a Bishop and some other Divines , they found him fast and firm in the Protestant Doctrine : then he was asked , what was the cause that he refrayned to come to Church in so long a time : to which he answered , that when he was last at Church , then hee heard a most sufficient Lesson for him to practise and follow ; and when hee had well learned that one good Lesson , he would go to Church and fetch another ; they demanded what were the words contayned in that Lesson ? he replied : it was in the 39. Psalme , I have said I will take heed to my waies , that I offend not with my tongue . By this one Text we are excited and exhorted , to say well and doe well ; wherein are included all the Rules and Grounds of Christianity and Christian Religion . It is a question whether are more in number , either people or sheaves of corn ; every sheaf doth not yeeld much above halfe a peck one with another : the least Child doth spend the quantity of a peck every yeare , and it may be thought that every man or woman do eat at the least a bushell : In this may be seen the miraculous and mercifull providence of God , in feeding so many . Let these mercies bee with thankfulness considered , that the ox , calf , sheep , buck , all Beasts on the Earth feeding , Fowls of the Ayr , Fishes of the Sea , Fruits of the Field , Orchard , or Garden ; they are running , flying , swimming , growing this day , and the next day they are translated into the sustenances and substances of the flesh and bloud of every man and woman . A ship is a right embleme , hieroglyphick of Gods Church Militant : the world is the sea she sails in , the storms and tempests that assault and beat against her are persecutions , the haven she steers to anker in , is Heaven , the Pilot is Christ , the marriners are Prophets , Apostles , godly Ministers , and painfull Pastors ; the passengers are all true beleeving Christians ; the main Mast of this ship is Christs Crosse , the sailes are pious profession , the fair and prosperous wind is the spirit of God , the contrary winds are Satans blustering , or false doctrine , the Card and Compass is Gods word , to sail as that directs , the Needle to the fixed North Pole is Faith , the cables , ropes , sheats , tacks , braces , and boleins , and other cords are Love , the Anchor is hope , prayers , tears , and penitentiall sighs are the Ordnance , the food ( or victualls ) are the Sacraments , and Gods good pleasure is the Rudder . We have to doe with a mercifull God , that will make the best of our intents and actions , who hates all captious rigorous sophistry and Sophisters ; that misinterpret and construe all things to the worst ; for God hath a touchstone to try Faith , whether it be right or counterset , he weighs it not in the Ballance , he esteems the puritie of the qualitie more then the heaviness of the quantitie . Christ bids us be holy , as he is holy , which though we cannot attain to , yet let us do our good will . Though we cannot fast and pray , and please God as he did , yet it is our best and safest way to do our endeavours to follow him as near as we can . If we sow the seed of Sin , we may expect a Harvest of Judgement , for such seed as we sow , such fruit we shall reap ; as we measure to others , such shall be measur'd unto us : for in the 1. Chapter of Judges , Adonibezeck is Recorded , that he caused the fingers and toes of 70 Kings to be cut off , and afterward he was so serv'd himself . Absolom killed his Brother Ammon , and Joab killed Absolom ; also Joab killed Abner and Amasa cowardly , and Joab was killed for killing : The Amalekite that belied himself , in bringing word to David that Saul was dead , and that he had slain him , David caused him to be slain , because he confest himself to have killed the King . These ex-amples are in the sacred Scriptures plentifully Related : Because of unrighteous dealing and wrong , and riches gotten by deceit , Kingdoms have been turned and translated from one People to another , for the rash and harsh answer of Roboham caused 10 Tribes of Israell to fall from him to Jeroboam , and after that the whole house of Jeroboam were rooted out by Baasha , the house of Baasha was destroyed by Zimri , the house of Ahab utterly overthrown by Jehu ; and 31 Kingdoms were taken from bad Kings and wicked Rulers , and given to the Israelites . Therefore let us measure to others as we expect to be measured unto . There are 5 strange things , first I chiefly observe , God became Man for Mans salvation . Secondly , a Fisher-man was called to preach to the Jewes . Thirdly , a Persecuter was the first Preacher to the Gentiles . Fourthly , a Publican was the first Evangelist . Fiftly , that a Thiefe first entred the Celestiall Paradice . Most mens Constancies are like Camelions , variable ; like the Wind , Flexible ; like the Sea , Unstable ; like the Elements , at strife Inexpiable ; like a Labyrinth , Intrincicable ; like the Moone , Changeable ; like Women , Mutable ; like any thing Miserable . I have read of 7 Orders or Degrees amongst Devils , and that 7 of them have particular Offices , as first : Lucifer is Lord of Pride , Presumption , and Ambition , Isay. 14. Secondly , Belzebub , is for Envy , and Malice , Mat. 12. He is also called God of Flies , God of Eckron , or Acheron . Thirdly , is for wrath and disdaine , Luke 22. Fourthly , Abaddon is Master of Sloath and Idleness , Apoc. 9. Fiftly , Mammon is Prince of Covetousnesse , Mat. 6. Sixtly , Asmodeus for Lust or Lechery , Toby 3. The seventh is Belphegor , for Gluttony and Drunkenness . It hath alwayes been the practises of the Devill to strive to be honored as God , for he would have been God , but because he could not , hee hath playd the Ape with counterfet imitation , to be honoured with and in such manner as God was adored and worshipped withall , for when God was served with Sacrifices by true Believers , the Devill was served , by Pagans and Infidels , with Hecatombs of Beasts , and sacrificed children , even by Emperors , Kings & Princes ; and as God had and hath his Priests , the Devil had his Archflammings , and Flammings ; and in these daies hee hath Hypocriticall Ministers , more then a good many : God hath his Sacraments , the Devill hath his Expiations and Ceremonies ; God promiseth a Heaven to his servants , and threatneth a Hell to willfull and impenitent sinners , the Devill promiseth his servants Elizium fields , and threatneth with his Stygian Lake . The Pagans had a wicked , foolish , and abominable number of strange Gods , some worshipped the Sunne , some adored the Moon , some reverenced the Stars ; in the ship ( when Jonas was in the storm ) they had almost as many ungodly Gods to pray to , as there were persons ; for every one prayed or cried to his owne God , and they did bid Jonas pray to his God . At Athens they had so many Temples wherein they adored severall damnable Gods , that they were fain to erect one Temple to the unknown God , Act. 17. 23. The Tirians and Lacedemonians did fetter and chain their Gods , and imprison them , because they should not run or flie from them ; so also did other Nations . Some held the fire to bee the greatest God , others honoured the water , as greater in power then the fire , because water will quench fire . Some others worshipped the Earth , for her fruitfulnesse , for breeding , feeding , and being the common mother of All . Some thought the Ayre to be God , for its purity and subtilty , for its ubiquitary , being in all places , because where there is no Ayre there is no life . Some bad the Sea , and Sea Gods in great adoration , Thetis , Neptune , Proteus , Driades , Hammadriades , and some attributed Divinity to well deserving men and women , as Janus , Hercules , Ceres ; some esteemed the 7. Planets for Gods ; others had Dogges , Cats , Rats , Crocodiles , Serpents , Fruits , Garlicks , Onions , and the Divell himself , to be their Gods . The people were so zealous in their irreligious Religions , that they built stately and magnificent Temples ; in Ephesus there was a Temple of Diana , which with the labour of 100000 men , was 20. yeers a building ; the Ammonites and Moabites , they built high places to Baal , in the valley of Benhinnom ; there they sacrificed their sonnes and daughters to Molech , Jer. 32. 35 Baal , Molech , or Milcom , are all one Idoll . It had the form of the face of a Bullocke , it was hollow , made of Brasse ; at the sacrificing of their children , they used to bear Drums , and make noyses with divers sorts of loud Instruments , because the parents , kindred , or friends of the sacrificed children , should not hear the cries and shrieks that they roared in their tortures . The Israelites had a molten Calfe in Horeb , the more Calves they . The Philistims had their Dagon . Many Nations of the Gentiles worshipped Baal-Peor , or Priapus , Numb. 25. 3. Baalzeebub , a Lord of flies , God of Ekron , or Acheron ; this Idol King Ahaziah sent to for helpe when hee was sick . And thus the Devill hath in all ages and places bewitched and blinded the people with hellish heathenish Idolatry and superitition , and it is too true , as lamentable experience shewes us , that all our Divisions , Breaches , Rents , Sects , and seperations , do most clearly shew and manifest that the inveterate malice that the Devill hath ever borne against God and his Church is as violent now as ever it was . Such servants as do sow good services do deserve to reap good wages for their labour ; wherefore should I expect more respectfull services from my servant then I do to my God ? if God should mark , or remember , all my faults , what a miserable wretched thing were I ! Though servants be the feet , yet the feet are as necessary to go , as the eyes are to see ; all have Adam for their earthly Father , and God for their heavenly ; we are all Brethren , we have all one God , all one Father , therefore we do not say , when we pray , My Father , or Thy Father , or His Father , Her Father , or Their Father ; but we are commanded to say , Our Father , &c. I have read in a Booke containing 42 Sermons upon Lent , Written and Preached by Charles de Fonseca , in his 14. Sermon , pag. 222. Printed by Adam rslip , Anno 1629. this following Relation , word for word , truly copied . The Remarkable Relation that Pilate made to Tiberius the Emperour , concerning Christ , full of admiration and pity . IN this Kingdome there was a wonderfull strange man , his behaviour and beauty beyond all other in the world ; his discretion and wisdome celestiall , his gravity and soberness of cariage beyond all comparison , his words mysticall , the grace wherewith he delivered them strook his Enemies with astonishment . Never man saw him laugh , weep they have . His works savoured of more then Man . He did never any harm , but much good hath he done to many : he healed by hundreds such as had been sick of incurable diseases : he cast out Divels , he raised the dead , and his miracles , being numberless , they were done all for others good . He did not work any miracle wherein was to be seen the least vanity or boasting in the world . The Jews , out of envy , layd hold on him , and with a kind of hypocrisie and outward humility , ( rather seeming then being Saints ) trampled him under foot , and mard his cause . I whipt him to appease their fury , and the people being about to mutiny , I condemnd him to the death of the Cross . A little before he breathed his last he desired of God that he would forgive those his Enemies which had nayled him to the Cross . At his death there were many prodigious signes , both in Heaven and Earth ; the Sunne was darkned , the Graves were opened , and the dead arose . After hee was dead , a foolish Jew thrust a speare into his side , shewing the hatred in his death , which the Jews bore unto him in his life . Contraries never did agree , nor ever will be brought to any conformity . Michael and the Dragon , the Ark and Dagon , Nehemiah and Sanballat , God and Belial , Cain and Abel , Jacob and Esau , Isaac and Ishmael , John and Cerinthus , fire and water , good and bad , vice and vertue , light and darkness . Amongst all these , there never was , is , or ever will be any unity or friendship , eyther in Heaven , in Earth , in the City , in the Church , in the Bath , in the Family , in the Womb , or in the World . Four of mans best friends have brought forth four wicked Daughters ; the first friend is Vertue , and shee hath beene the mother of Envy . The second is Peace , and shee brought Idleness into the World . The third is Truth , and shee hath brought forth a wicked Brat called Hatred . The fourth is Familiarity , and shee hath brought amongst us a forgetfull , proud , sawcy Knave , called Contempt . Although a Coward will not willingly stand the brunt , shock , and hazard of a Battell , yet every one that runs from danger is not a Coward : he that flies may returne and fight , hee that dies cannot . Jacob fled from Esau , Moses from Pharaoh , Elias from Jezabel , and Saint Paul scaped away when he was let down in a Basket from the Walls of Damascus . The vertue of Fortitude , is alwayes between two extreams , Daring and Dreading ; David who killed a Lion and a Bear , who vanquished and slew the Giant Goliah , who brought 200. foreskins of the Philistins to King Saul , who was valiant and victoriously glorious and renowned , yet hee fled from Saul to Achish King of Gath , 1. Sam. 21. 10. 13. He also did flie from the fury of the sword of his disobedient and rebellious son Absolon , 2. Sam. 17. 21. 22. also he fled at other times . Christ , who conquered sin , death , and hell , fled into AEgypt , Matth. 2. 14. And Christ doth counseil such as are persecuted in one City , to flie into another , Matth. 10. 23. The tongue is double walled , fenced , and intrenched with teeth , gummes , and lips , ( which are rampiers and bulwarks ; ) the two eyes are centinells , and the eares doe lie perdue ; which shews that we should hear and see twice as much as we speak . There hath beene many a man ruined by too much talking , but very few have received any great damage by being silent : the tongues chiefe office should bee to pray , and to prayse God , but it is a treacherous retestable part for the tongue of any man to pray or wish the damnation of his owne body and soule , ( as too many Roarers doe every day and houre ) with impious execrations , as God damn , sink , renounce , consume , forsake , confound , &c. The tongue of man was not created for such damnable purposes : it was a custome amongst the ancient Romans to learne first to bee silent , and secondly to speake ; but there are a generation of tautallogicall tongue men , who do neither know how to speake , or when to hold their peace . A wise mans tongue is in his heart , but a fools heart is in his tongue , Eccl. 21. For he that doth nothing but talke , doth talk nothing . To speak against the Truth is the Divels Rhetorick ; and to talke against Reason is vain babling and prating , more fit for a Parrot then a man : Salomons counsell is , Let thy words be few , Eccles. 5. 1. Jesus the son of Syrach sayth , Make not much babling when thou prayest , Eccl. 7. 14. Christ , the son of God , wiser then Salomon , or the son of Syrach , he counsels us to use no vain Repetitions when we pray , Matth. 6. If Tyrants should sit and devise tortures & strange torments to inflict upon men , there can b●● none more cruell and grievous , then to binde ● Wise man in a Chayre , and let a Foole talke him to Death . The confidence and diffidence of Men , the keeping or breaking of Oaths , there are many various Relations in divers Histories , which shewes the mutability of men . In the space of nine months , those Peers and People that swore obedience to King Henry the sixth forsook him , and swore the like to King Edward ●●● fourth : and the same Peers and People received Henry for their King again , and expulst Edward ; and shortly after that , the same Peers and People , fell from Henry again , and crowned Edward , within the time of half a year , ●●e Parliament Proclaymed Henry to be their lawfull King , and Edward an usurper : and also that with another Proclamation , the same men , Proclaymed Henry an usurper , and Edward their lawfull King. By this it may be perceived that it is vain to trust in man . The Arian Heretiques denied the Eternity of Christ , and that there was a time when Christ was not . But all faithfull true beleeving Christians doe know Christ to bee Eternall and Coequall with the Father ; for Christ is the wisdome of God the Father , therefore Eternall . For it is Blasphemy , in the highest degree , to hold the opinion of Arius ; for if Christ at any time had been from God the Father , then had the wisedome of God been also absent from God , for Christ is the wisdom of the Father . Though a Priest or Preacher do live a licentious life , yet if his Doctrine be good , it is our safest way to receive it . The Prophet Eliah did thankfully accept that food which God sent him by a Raven . If a Fountain of wholesome clear water , be adorned ●●●h spowts in the shapes of Dragons , Serpents , Crocodiles , Basilisks , Cockatrices , or any other hideous forms of monstrous Creatures , yet the water that passeth through the sayd spowts is the same , pure as the Fountain , not a jot the worse . As our manifold sinnes doe extreamly cry to God for Vengeance , so our miserable estate and condition should always incite and move us uncessantly to cry for mercy . When the Israelites had , as God commanded them , marched seven times about the Jericho , then at the blowing of their Trumpets the Walls fell down ; so the Apostles , with the blasts of their mouths , with a few Disciples , were the golden Trumpets that promulgated and propagated the Gospel , which ransacked the C●●●● Idolatry , which was then as big as the whole world , which made the barbarous Heathen , and unbelieving Infidells subjects to Christs Church , and Philosophy a Hand-mayd . The Prophets and Sibils that Prophesied of Christ , were many of them strangers one to another , they were of sundry Countries , Nations , and Languages , they lived a● sundry times , and different Ages : they were also of differings callings and qualities ; as some were Kings , some were Princes , some were Priests , some were shepheards , some were heardsmen ; they prophecied of severall passages and actions of our Saviour and his sufferings : one wrote of his being promised , another of the time , when the Scepter should depart from Iuda ; some foretold his conception , others spake of his Birth , his Circumcision , his life , his stripes , buffetings , patience , silence , passion , death , buriall , Resurrection , and Ascension ; all these Prophets and Seers , were directed by one and the same Spirit , the Holy Ghost : he 70. Interpreters were of sundry Nations and Languages , many of them having never conversed , or spake to , nor scarce saw each other ; yet they were all guided and inspired by the same Spirit , that they miraculously interpreted and in an unity collected an uniform and exact Originall Translation of the sacred Scriptures , both Mysticall and Historicall . Imitations are sometimes dangerous to follow ; for when the Israelites past into the Red Sea , Pharaoh was none of the wisest to follow them , for their high way was a Grave to him , and all his army . The 7. Sleepers were brethren , born in Ephesinum , they lived in the tyrannous Raign of the Emperour Decius , Ann. 447. their names were , 1. Marcus , 2. Maximilianus , 3. Martinianus , 4. Dionysius , 5. Johannes , 6. Serapion , and the seventh was Constantius . These brothers fled from the great Persecution which was then , and hid themselves in a Cave , where they slept 200. yeeres . This story is related by many Authors , of whom I will instance but one , which is Mr. Thomas Heywood , in his Tractate of Angels , the 9. Book , page 606. Also the Church hath ordayned that their memories should be celebrated on the 27. of July , as appeares in the Almanacke . If we compare the times past with the dayes wherein we live , we shall finde much alteration : for I read that in the 11. yeer of the Raign of King Edward the third , that a quarter of Wheat was but at the price of 2s . a far Oxe 6s . 8d . a fat sheep 6d . 6. Pidgeons 1d . a fat Goose 2d . a fat Pig 1d . and the Rates of all Rents and all other necessaries were at Prices according . And it is probable that there were as many people in those dayes as are now ; for in the 22 yeer of the same King , there was a great Plague and mortality of People in England , so that in lesse then 6. months , from the 12. of January to the last of June , there died in London , and the Liberties 57374. persons ; and in Yarmouth , there died 7052. So likewise the Infection was so hot spred over the Kingdome , that it swept many thousands away in many places : by which may bee perceived how populous England was 400. yeers ago . Also Ireland did then pay 30000. yeerly tribute to the English crown . See Sir Richard Bakers Chronicle . God is more mercifuil then Man can be sinfull , if Man can bee truly sorrowfull . Nor can Man commit any sinne , but , against it , the Father of Mercies hath provided many wayes and meanes to restraine it ; hee hath given us a Law of Nature , and a reason to obey that Law he hath printed and graved in the hearts and bodies of men ; and this Law doth shew and teach us what to doe , and what not to doe ; it makes us to know good and evill , it directs us to vertue , it resists vices ; and this much the very law of Nature hath dictated into the reasonable soules of men . But to this unwritten law of Nature , Almighty God was pleased to adde a supernaturall written Law , declared in the Decalogue , ( or ten Commandements . ) But when time was fulfilled , and Prophesies accomplished of Christs comming , ( he being come ) from him wee had a new Law to guide us to that perfection as becomes Christians . And because this Law is petpetuall and unalterable , our great and gratious Law giver hath appointed Pastors and Preachers to direct us in the observation thereof , and he hath also ordayned Magistrates to have power and command to see the Law put in execution , and to inflict punishment upon the contemners and transgressors of the same . For the further direction and observation of this Law , God hath placed a sharpe and just Judge , called Conscience , in the breast of every man or woman , which Judge doth impartially accuse or excuse the unjust or just . This Judge Conscience , deters and affrights us from many uncleane and unlawfull words and works ; it binds us , as it were , to the good behaviour , it keeps us in aw , it is both a schoolmaster and a Corrector , it teacheth us our duties , it tells us our faults without flattery , it is the eye of the soule , for as the body is ruled and directed by the eye , so is the soul guided , comforted , and corrected by the Conscience . It tells us what is lawfull , what is illegall ; it is a witness that accuseth and evidenceth against us , it is a Judge that condemnes or acquits us , as it findes us guilty or not guilty ; it is also a terrible Executioner of Justice , and justly it torments with due punishment all our misdoings . In Naturall reason wee may perceive Conscience to be a binding Law , for when a man is about to put in practise any wicked act , eyther of prophanenesse against God , or abuse towards men , presently Conscience forbids it , and commands him to remember that God sees his thoughts and actions , and to have that just precept in his minde , Whatsoever thou wouldst that men should doe unto thee , doe thou the same unto them ; for Conscience is a Law wherein no excuse is to bee admitted , no evasion or illusion , no bribe , cloke , cover or dispensation can make this Evidence mute , for it will declare the Truth , and the whole Truth , without the abatement of a tittle . Thus is Conscience not onely a Law ; but a witnesse against us for all our open and secret transgressions , whether wee bee on Sea , or on Land , sleep or awake , at bed or boord , at home or abroad , in company or alone , Conscience still cryes out against the guilty . This Witnesse is a true and a stout Preacher , diligent in his function , he is no idle non Resident , and though a man be never so secret and silent , yet his Conscience will not be put to silence . Thou canst not stop the cars of thy soul , but it will ever heare thy Conscience cry out , and it will be ever telling thee such things as thou couldst wish were not ; our first Parents after their great sinne of disobedience , their Conscience so accused them , that for fear and shame they hid themselves amongst Bushes . Cains Conscience was so shrill and vehement in crying out against him for his murdering of his innocent brother Abel , that he cried out , and in despairing of mercy from God , confest his crime to bee more then God would or could forgive . The sonnes of Jacob when they were in distresse , their Consciences plainly told them that their afflictions fell on them for their false unnaturall selling of their Brother Joseph : Conscience is twice 500 Witnesses . And as Conscience is a Law to guide us , and a Witnesse to accuse us , so it is an impartiall Judge to condemn us if we be faulty , and to acquit us if we be clear and innocent ; if Cain had appealed from the sharp judgement seat of his own Conscience , to the high Tribunall of Gods mercy , then instead of destroying desperation , he had found Remission and Salvation . The Centurion humbly did acknowledge himselfe to bee so unworthy a Sinner , that he was not worthy Jesus should come under his Roofe ; that meek and faithfull acknowledgement caused Christ in compassion to cure his sick servant , for there was never any sinners that by penitent appealing from the rigorous sentences of their own Consciences , to the Throne of Grace , but their appeals procured their pardons , as appeareth in the sacred Stories of David , Manasses , Mary Magdalen , and other penitent and blessed Souls . Thus though we flatter our selves in our follies , yet our Consciences will neither bee brib'd nor flatter'd . Conscience being a just Law , a true Accuser , and an upright incorrupt Judge ; it followeth in the last place , that it is a terrible Executioner , who with a Vermin called the Worme os Conscience , doth continually gnaw the souls of impenitent sinners , for though there may be some fruitlesse shaddow of painted pleasure in the conceiving of sinne , yet that conception is presently check'd , reprov'd , grudg'd , and grumbled at by the Conscience ; but when the soul is delivered of this impious Imp , then the Worm gnaws most tormentingly : for instance of this , there needs no more proofs then the accursed case of Judas , who after he had conceived and brought forth the damnable Treason of betraying his gracious and innocent Master , his Conscience so tormented him , that hee thought Hell would yield him more ease and lesse terrour , and therefore hee despairing hang'd himselfe , to be freed from the horror of the continuall sting of a gnawing Conscience . It is a perpetuall torture that will never suffer a sinner to take rest , till such time as by true Repentance and amendment of life , he be clensed from his former transgressions ; if hee bee waking or sleeping , it frets and galls him with bitter remorse , or affrights and scares him with fearfull dreams , wheresoever he goes , it make● hell to seem in his sight , and Gods judgemen● against him ; it makes him afraid of Tree●● Bushes , and Shaddows , nay , himselfe is afrai● of nothing , or that is worth nothing , his own shaddow ; for sinne is the only food that do●● nourish and feed the Worm of Conscience ; 〈◊〉 as the celestiall Bread of Life is the food of ev●●ry faithfull soul , and terrestriall food maintai●● the life and vigor of the body , so is sinne t●● onely life and nourishment of the Worme● Conscience : He that will have the Worme● leave gnawing , let him avoid and hate sin , a●● then the Worm will dye with famine . But the joy and contentment of a cleare guiltlesse conscience is such an inward p●●● which few attain to , and none doe or can expresse but such as enjoy it . A good Conscience wil acquit a man when all the world condemns him . There is no true Recreation ( or all Recreations ) can yeeld so great content , or any content at all without a good Conscience . It is so voyd of Earthly cares and Worldly perturbations , that as the Wise man sayd , Proverb . 15. It is a continuall Banquet : and St. John in his first Epistle doth call it the Heart , saving ; If the heart reprehend us not , wee have a great confidence in God . St. Paul in the first to the Corinths , chap. 1. sayth , that our glory is the testimony of a good Conscience ; for if men judge and think never so hardly of us , yet if our Consciences doe not accuse us before God , we are at peace within our selves , because the peace of God is in every good man or womans Conscience . And thus I have ●hewed , in part , what Power and Command Conscience hath over all our thoughts , words , works , and lives , from our births to our death , ●nd at our departure and last gasp . Great Kings , and mighty Lords , Magistrates , ●nd Governors of Common-wealths , they doe ●e most , and hear most with the eyes and ears ●f other men , themselves have no knowledge ●f mens actions , unlesse their Officers and In●●●ument doe certifie and informe them how ●atters and businesses do passe under their go●●rnments , and they judge no further then exterior or outward proofs doth manifest unto them , and yet for all their testimonies and evidences , they so often erre in their judgements : But Conscience beareth sway over our outsides and insides both , it governes , rules , approves , reprooves , clears , and punisheth all our interiour and exteriour thoughts , words , and actions , ( as is before declared ) for Conscience is clear sighted , and sees all . Conscience hath sundry divisions and definitions ; for we use to say that such as do rake , scrape , and ravenously devour mens lives and livelyhoods , in joyning house to house , land to land , eyther by oppression , extortion , fraud , or force , they care not how so they have it . Some men will say that all such Caterpillers have large Consciences , and some are in the mind that they have no Conscience at all . To put a medium , or mean , betwixt these two extreams , of too large ( or large Conscience ) and no Conscience , let every man examine himselfe , and they will quickly find that each of them hath a Conscience ( though not visible , yet invisible ) that will tell him how it is with him , eyther well or ill according as he hath used his Conscience . Every mans Conscience is an accusing book , which shall be opened at the last day , Revelat. 20. 12. The Conscience of unjust men is in continuall fear , but a righteous mans Conscience makes him bold as a Lion . Wisdom . 7. 10. and Prov. 28. 1. He that doth any thing against his Conscience is condemned , Rom. 14. 20. He that hath a contented quiet Conscience is rich , whether hee be in a sufficient estate , or in worldly necessity , but hee that hath a troubled Conscience is discontented in robes of Royalty , and formented amidst his greatest pleasures , and delicious fare and banquetting , for his very Table is a share unto him . He that makes his belly his God , his kitchin his Church , his Cooke the Priest , and his Sacrifices the lushious delicate Dishes , let his teeth gnaw earchly dainties never sog reedily gluttonous , the worme of Conscience is feasting and gnawing him within , that all his pleasures are painfull perplexities unto him , for , A wounded Conscience who can beare ? Earth , and earthly minded Dives , made no account of poore Lazarus , nor had any compassion on him whilest he lived . And Heaven made lesse esteeme of Dives when he was dead , for the Glutton would not give a few crummes to releeve and save the life of the poore Begger , who was received into Glory , so the other was denied one small drop of cold water in his grievous torments , and greatest necessity . For the painted felicities of unmerciful men doe end when their lives end , so the miseries of the poore and oppressed are as mortall as themselves ; but their joyes , and the others paines , are both immortall and everlasting . I write not in Envy or Emulation of riches , for ( as they may be imployed ) riches are the blessings of God , there have beene in all Ages good and charitable rich men ; Abraham , Lot , Jacob , Joshua , Job , David , Salomon , and many others were rich , charitable , and blessed of God heer on Earth , and for ever in Heaven . And our England hath produced many pious , honorable persons of both sexes , and of all estates and degrees , whose names and memories are famous , and their monumentall Erections and Foundations of Colledges , Churches , Schools , Hospitalls , Almes-houses , and gifts and Legacies to Orphans , and Prisoners , are testimonies of their Charities and Compassion . But I speak of uncharitable Muck-wormes , whose minds are too empty of pity , their souls disfurnished of a good Conscience , and their Bags too full of ill gotten , accursed , and damnable unrighteous Mammon . To conclude this case of Conscience with the saying of the Wise man , Eccles. 14. 2. Blessed is he that is not condemned in his own Conscience . Verses never Printed till now ( as I am certified ) of the Misery of Man . THE world 's a Bubble , and the life of Man Lesse then a span : In his conception wretched , from the Wombe So to the Tombe : Cries in his Cradle , and brought up in Teares With cares and fears : Who then to frail Mortality doth trust But limbs the Water , or else writes in Dust . Yet , since with sorrowes heer , we live opprest What life is best ? Courts are but only superficiall Schooles To dandle Fooles : The Countrey 's almost turn'd into a den Of Savage Men : And wher 's a City from all Vice so free But may be tearm'd the worst of all the three . Domesticke cares afflict the Husbands bed Or paines his head : Some would have children , those that have them mone Or wish them gone : Those that live single , count it for a curse Or doe things worse : What is it then to have , or not have Wife But single thraldome , or a double strife ? Our own affections , still at home to please Is a Disease : To crosse the Seas to any forreign soyl Perill and toyl : Wars , with their rumors fright us , when they cease Wee 're worse in peace : What then remains , but that we still should crie Not to be born , or being born , to die ? Another to the same purpose : Life's brevity , and Mans frailty . CAN he be Fair , that withers with a blast ? Or he be Strong , that ayery breath can cast ? Or he be Wise , that knows not how to live ? Or he be Rich , that nothing hath to give ? Or he be Yong , that 's feeble , weak and wan ? So Fair , Strong , Wise , so Rich , so Yong is man . So Faire is man , that Death ( a parting blast ) Blasts his fair Flower , and makes him Dust at last . So Strong is Man , that with a gasping breath He totters , and bequeaths himself to Death . So Wise is Man , that if with Death he strive , His Wisdome cannot teach him how to live . So Rich is Man , that all his debts being payd , His wealth 's the winding sheet wherein hee 's layd . So Yong is Man , that , broke with care and sorrow , Hee 's old enough to day to die to morrow . Why bragct thou then , thou worm of 5 foot long ? Thou'rt neither Fair , Wise , Yong , nor Rich , or Strong . A good Conscience more worth then the World . TO shine in silk , to glister all in gold , To flow in wealth , to feed on dainty fare , To build our houses stately , to behold The Princes favour , and the peoples care : Although those gifts be great , and very rare , The groaning Gowt , the Collick , and the Stone , Will marre the mirth , and turn it all to moan . But be it that the Body subject bee To no such sickness , or the like annoy , Yet if the Conscience be not firme and free , Riches are Trash , and Honour but a Toy . The Peace of Conscience is that perfect Joy By which Gods Children in this life are left ; To want the which , better want all the rest . Conscience for good and bad is mille testis A Conscience clear , a sweet continuall feast is . A Sonnet of Henry Duke of Glocester . WHat is my fault ? alas ! what have I done ? Is it for Treason that I am Captiv'd ? Or is it that I was my Fathers Son , That I am of my liberty depriv'd ? My Infant innocence no Plot contriv'd Against the Army , State , or Parliament : But all my fa●●● is that I am deriv'd From mighty Kings and Princes eminent . To me it seems a bitter consequent , I am a Prisoner , 'cause I was begot : Alas I could not help it , or prevent My being born , or my unlucky lot . Could I have help'd my selfe , or any other , I would have help'd my Father and my Mother . A Prudent Man . THe highest pitch of Cesars soaring spirit , Was but to win the World , whereby t' inherit The aiery purchase of a transitory , And glozing title of an ages glory . Wouldst thou by conquest win more fame then bee ? Subdue thy selfe , thy selfe's a World to thee : Earth's but a Ball that Heaven hath quilted o're With wealth and honour , bandied on the flore Offickle fortunes false and slippery Court , Sent for a Toy to make us Children sport : And he whose merits mount to such a Joy , Gaines but the honour of a mighty Toy . Brave mindes opprest , should ( in despight of Fate ) Shine greatest ( like the Sun ) in lowest state . Upon the word MORE . ALthough the World be old , God knew before Who should be his Elect , hee 'l have no More . Good Angels guard men , as they did of yore , As Michael , Raphael , Gabriel , many More . One Raphael did old Tobies sight restore , Tob. 11 Gabriel , that brought best tidings , was no * More . The Divell and his Angels , rage and rore , Devouring many , yet still gape for More . Lords , Ladies , Lawyers , hee hath swallowed store , And Doctors , yet would have one Doctor More . In th'ayre , the fire , upon the seas and shore , He labours night and day to purchase More . He hath layd Churches levell with the floore , But if this world last , he will knock down More . Of peace and wealth , he made us sick and sore , Yet hath he still some damned Dog-tricks More . Abiram , Dathan , and their Cosin Core , He swallowed quicke , and every day doth More . False hypocrites have reverend habits wore , So hath the Divel himselfe , and so hath More . Brave men are glad with one sute , torne and tore , When every base Time-serving Knave hath More . My selfe , with spectacles , doe peep and pore , And write for little , am in hope of More . The Miser doth his golden God adore , And though he hath too much , would fain have More The frosty bearded Churle , with head all hoar , Lives poore in plenty , and destreth More . Ther 's many a sin earing Hector loves a Whore , So doe all Bawdy Knaves , and so doth More . Ther 's many a Pascall call rich , lives like a Bore , That feedeth in his Trough , so doth one More . Abundance run to hell , and ther 's no dore To keep men out , the Divell will have More . And many a rustick Clowne is gilded o're With Reverend Titles , and so is one More . The Usurer on his bed doth snort and snore , And , in his sleep , dreams how he may have More . Mine Hostes gladly would be paid her score , And 't is my daily Drinke that makes it More . Extortion and Oppression , make men poore , And every day of Beggars we have More . For vertuous living now , and Learnings lore Like toyes , worth nothing , are esteem'd no More . I wish my soul with sorrow may deplore , Because my sins encrease still more and More . All men have vainly , too oft , lid and swore Let 's all endeavour to doe so no More . And humbly God for pardon le ts implore , For though our crimes are great , his mercy 's More . Some small occasion , I scarce know wherfore , Did make me , merrily , write this of More . Which I have now concluded , and therefore On More , at this time , I will write no More . And he that of the word More , More can make , Let him , in hand , pen , ink , and paper take . I have done with MORE , and yet there is more behind . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A64184e-250 * No Blackmore . 
A64185	----	Most curious Mercurius Brittanicus, alias Sathanicus, answer'd, cuff'd, cudgell'd, and clapper-claude ... Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64185 of text R37877 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T483B). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 22 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 6 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64185 Wing T483B ESTC R37877 17150625 ocm 17150625 105901 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64185) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 105901) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1160:11) Most curious Mercurius Brittanicus, alias Sathanicus, answer'd, cuff'd, cudgell'd, and clapper-claude ... Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 8 p. s.n., [London? : between 1640 and 1644] Author refers to himself by name (John Taylor) in first sentence of text. Caption title. Imprint suggested by Wing. Reproduction of original in the Huntington Library. eng Wharton, George, -- Sir, 1617-1681. -- Mercurio-coelico mastix. Booker, John, 1603-1667. Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 1642-1649. A64185 R37877 (Wing T483B). civilwar no Most curious Mercurius Brittanicus, alias Sathanicus, answer'd, cuff'd, cudgell'd, and clapper-claude. Han gupak navem ercu rius, quar terat Taylor, John 1644 3686 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-06 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-00 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion MOST CURIOUS MERCURIUS BRITTANICUS , ALIAS , SATHANICUS , Answer'd , Cuff'd , Cudgell'd , and Clapper-claude . Han Gupak Navem Ercu Rius , Quar Teratray Torb Ritan Nicus . By Interpretation . Hang up a Knave Mercurius , Quarter a Traytor Britannicus . BRittanicus , have at thee , look to thy selfe , for good faith I am IOHN TAYLOR , and let it not make thee proud , that I am pleased to descend so low as to write either to thee or of thee . Your Prophetick writings , ( with Bookers conjunction ) and delicate foysted Declarations , and Relations ( being all Nothings ) of their worthy Orders , Acts , and Votes , with their Don Quixotticall , Amadis de Galldicall Battles and Ayery Victories , which being with judgement and discretion weighed and considered are Nothing , nor ever will be any thing to any purpose . And if the round Iobbernoll of Brittanicus were but capable of the capacity of Owley-glasse , he might see that all the great Something 's which he so dignifies , falsifies and magnifies , are nothing , have done Nothing ( but Mischiefe ) which is worse then Nothing . You are merrily pleased to call Aulicus the Scripe , or Register to the Junto , whereby I perceive that you can breake Iests better then make them , and that you have a Foolish Rogueish desire to jeere your betters , but that your plentifull want of Wit is your great impediment . Then you fall a Scoffing the Nobility here ( which is no newes as you promised a Relation of newes in your lying title ) but sure it is no new thing ( though worth nothing ) It is your weekly custome to promise the People newes , and pay them with Nonsence , your infamous works have titles of Relations , and the froathy substance within is nothing , but your own inventions , fopperies , and fictions , for what knowledge of the Affaires of great Britaine can the people pick out of your Ignorant and Ridiculous Rayling and Revileing His Majesty , His Royall Queen , Honourable Counsellors , and all our Nobility , Gentry or others , with the Reverend Clergy , calling them Papists , Iesuits , Priests ; are these things new intelligences , no , all the World knowes those damnable designes to be no newes from you . But it were newes worth the hearing , to heare any truth at all from you , and it is supposed that you writ purposely to make your selfe merry , and for some other Trencher Respects , to delight as wise men as your selfe in reading and laughing at your fooleries . What knowledge of intelligence , or what profit have the people for their money and time spent , in buying and reading your scoffing scandalls & calumnies , you are pleased to bestow fine Epithites upon them , as fantasticall Heads and Hydes , and the grave and Reverend Iudges your wickednesse is pleas'd to trench upon Rastalls Abridgements , and to call them Rascalls , neither can the Serjeant at Lawes Quoyfe , or Iudges Night-cap scape the flowt of your fooles cap , the Quoyfes ( you say ) are Quoifes of injustice , and the Night-caps of false Judgement ; Then you boast of your ( and none but yours ) Parliaments late successe , and your Scottish brethrens advance , It is well known , that your Parliament hath the Art to Create , make , forme , fashion and frame Successe into what shape they please , and be it either good , bad , or indifferent , they can metamorphose it into feares , jealousies , Publique thanksgivings , and these ingredients being melted with zeale in the secret Chrusible of the Publique-Faith , and so with hey passe and Repasse Legerdemaine it is Transformed into money , and that money into Rebellion . For your brethren ( the Scots ) advance , I will give you leave to bragge of their successe . Then you seem to be displeased at Aulicus , for speaking truth when he called you Rebells , I doe heartily wish that you might truly give him the Lye , but if you be not Rebells , I shall suppose Faux , and Ravilltack to be Honest men , and that Wat Tyler , Iack Cade , Hackett , Penrye , Iohn a Leiden , and Knipperdolling dyed true Martyrs . Britanicus saies , the Ensigne is yet unhanged , that said he would kill the King , t is very likely , for I am sure you have hang'd , Imprisoned , Murdred , Plundred or Beggered as many as you could lay hold on , of such as were either Ecclesiasticall or Temporall Protestants , as would spend their livelihoods and deerest blood in defence of their true Religion , and service of their Soveraigne . But your evasion is , that your Trayterous Ensigne did not meane King Charles , But Generall King is the man he meant to kill , in this you are a Iesuited Equivocater in Generall , and a lying Knave in particular ; you bragge what a brave Cornelius Burgesse you have , he is a very wholsome Purified and Repurified man , for the Records of the Spirituall Court doth keep an account , that he hath been twice purg'd in that court , for two female servants of his , who by his joyning of Jyblets were both great with child in his own house . But these spirituall Court purgings , was to weak Physick to work upon him , so that he ( relapsing ) fell to the old trade againe , for which he was to be let blood , purg'd , dieted , and disciplin'd in the High-Commission ; But that he and his friends so labour'd the dissolution of that Court , that it was Abollished , and Cornelius ( by that means ) was left uncur'd , and I doubt uncurable , and I have heard of Cornelius his Tub , which is the fittest Pulpit for him and his Rebellious doctrine , he is no Cornelius Tacitus , ( as you say ) but it were better for the peace of the Church and State , if he were Tacitus , with all the Rabble of his Tribe of Sectaries ; Tacitus was a Roman Historian , and wrote the lives of some wicked Heathen Emperours , but your Loquatious Burges ( whose discretion had more appeared had he bin Tacitus ) hath with the Vollubillity of his seditious verbosity , omitted Suetonius and destroyed Tranquillius ; In a word , he hath talk'd so much strife and mischiefe , that thereby our former blessed Peace and Tranquillity is as rare to be found as Truth and Loyalty is either in him , or in his Imposture Scribe Mercurius Britanicus . Next ; he pursues the Bishops ( in the old Beaten way of Rayling ) which is as common as the barking of doggs , and therefore I hold him not worthy of an Answer . His Ridiculous scoffs of the Earle of Bristol , the Lord Cottiugton , and Sir Francis Windebank , calling them Spanish Figgs and Reisins , is such poor silly Rogish stuffe , that the folly of Will Summers , or Iohn Dorye were profound wisdome in respect of it . Then Sir , ( to shew your love to Learning ( like the rest of your sweet Maisters Magnificoes , Clarissimoes Committee and Common-Councell men ) you jeere at the Schooles , which is a place renowned for a famous Librarie through more Kingdoms Provinces and Nations , then are in the Christian World , and the ever renowned founder ( Sir Tho. Bodley , will for ever stand in the Records of fame , when the memory of the Calumniators of that Magnificent fabrick shall Rot , Stink , and be justly held odious to God and Man . The Arch-bishop of Armaugh falls next into the Roleing streame or Railing straine of your Aspersions , and indeed your commendations and approbation either of him , or any other man , is one of the greatest disparagements to blur and blemish a good Reputation , on the other side , the Ridiculous and Mallicious Scandalls which you are pleas'd to bluster against . Virtue , doth illustrate the brightnesse of it , and make it shine more Gloriously perspicuous , ( for mine own part I had Rather Brittanicus , and all his friends were hang'd then that either he or they should be at the charges to bestow a good Report on me , for every honest man would take me to be a Brownist or Anuabaptist , a Rascall , a Rebell and a Traytor . The profound learning , the sincerity of the Protestant Religion , the Loyalty to his Soveraigne , the extraordinary pains of his Studdying , the manner , Method , and Elegancy of his frequent Preaching , his Charity , Affability and carriage of his Exemplary life and conversation ; all these vertues , being the unquestionable practise of this most Reverend Bishop , cannot escape the snapping and snarling of Brittanicus , whereby the danger of a Knaves good Report is most plainly manifested . Brittanicus , you doe Amplify , and seem to stellify the Rebellious Lord Denbigh , and some others , with the Attainted and Outlawed Say and Seale , and if there were no other proofs of their Delinquency , your justification were sufficient Testimony . Deare-ring ( you bragge is come to you , I pray you make much of him , he is an excellent jewell to hang in the Eare of a Gallowes , at which time a Turn'd shirt of Holland may serve him for a Winding sheet ( if the Crowes be not couzned . ) You say you look for Hopton next , ( you may look for him , but I think you dare neither look or see him where he is , if you look for him in Imitation of Deereing , you may look your Eyes out , and if you and your Maisters and Members had the grace to be good Subjects till Hopton turne Rebell , the miseries of this Kingdom would quickly have a happy period ; in the mean space look to Hopton , for Hopton looks for you . You extoll the Lord Gray of Warke and your Speaker ( nine yards London measure above Ursa minor , ) Prophecying that they with the Common-Counsell-men shall fill Chronicles ; in this you are believ'd , for there are many men Cronicled for disloyalty to their Princes , and setting of Kingdoms in combustious contention , and why not they . And then you ( victoriously ) doe jeere our victories , you say we took certain prisoners , one was a Trooper with five shllings 3d in his pocket , three men in scarlet breeches , and one dragoon in an old plush doublet , in this you keep your promise with your chapmen , in letting them have some Newes for their money , and no doubt but some of them have so much wit as to believe you . But you prize your Generalls blood at an inestimable valew , that every drop af it is a Ruby or an Emerauld , It is wonder that his exceeding Excellency doth not beat thee for thy grosse flattery , for he knowes himselfe to be scarcely worth a Peble , and his Loyalty to his King were overvalued at the rate of a Saint Martins Pearle . You taxe us that all our letters are falsities , and we know that though they be written with all grounds of reall truths , yet you have the art to falsify them , either by new transcribing , misinterpreted and prejudicate constructions , or forged counterfeit Letters of your own devising and writing , which Letters have been often interpreted by your selves , sometimes at Sea , out of a Catch or an Oysterboate , by your victorious and unmatchable , Admirable Admirall , and others have been secretly conveyed to your Generalls and Commanders , who have easily taken the poore papers , and sent them to London , by speedy order they have been Printed , ( as full of your own Lyes , as your malice and the Divell could thrust into so small Roomes ) then they have been dispersed as dangerous plots and conspiracies , plotted by Papists , Royalists , and Cavaliers ; and publique thanksgivings commanded to be given in all Churches for Greate and extraordinary deliverances from fabulous dangers of your own devising . Prinne you are pleased to entitle , your Protomartyr , in the Worst times , and a Champion in the Best , Prinne hath heard of me lately in a larger tract , in my Answer to his Traiterous Pamphlet of the Power of Parliaments ; and Vindication of the new Counterfeit Great-Seale , Pennrye and Prinne are somewhat neare in an Annagram , they are nearer in their Treasons , and no doubt they will be nearest , when Prinne suffers as Pennry did at Tyburne ( for lesse Treason ) in Queen Elizabeths time . The truth is , you doe make bold with the names of some , who have been so bold to beat you squarely , and made you run away Roundly , for which causes I will tollerate you to be angry , and revenge your Maisters cause and your own with railing and playing the foole , that 's another full poynt . It is your profitable and safest way to keep your distance in staying at London or Westminister , & abuse his Majesty , and as many as doe Love Serve and Honour Him at Oxford , But your Lyes are not limited only hither , for their universality flees all over Great Britaine , by the false name of newes : and because the Gentleman is so exquisite and exact in taxing names in stead of newes , the name of Mercurius Britanicus , ( as I am Certified ) is James Hudson , which in an Annagram is the Sphinx , which the Oedipus of my Pericranion makes a true signification , of , for it opens the Riddle of the Matter , the Marrow , and the very intrincicall secrets of your name and Pamphlets . As thus , IAMES HVDSON , annagram , O , HIS MAD NVES , Thus your very name includes the nature of your weekly Relations , the mad nues of Iames Hudson , hath made abundance of fooles , and knaves as mad as himselfe , he is mad in writing , and they are out of their Wits , with countenancing , buying , Reading , and believing his madnesse , which doth blow the Coles that Inflames this Mad Rebellion . But himselfe and his damnable Lyes and Labours , are more Really described in another Annagram , of Mercurius Brittanicus , with his own name mixt with it ; As thus . MERCVRIVS BRITTANICVS , IAMES HVDSONNE , Annagramma , BVRN MI NONSENSE , WHI , IT IS ACVRST DREAMS . You see Sir , that your own name , with your accurst Pamphlets Title , doth most plainly demonstrate the lewdnesse , badnesse , and madnesse of your pestiferous Newes , and the reason is , you acknowledge it worthy to be Burnt , as being your Nonsence , the Question Why it should be Burnt is , because it is Acurst Dreams . Thus you see that Taylor the Waterman ( whose name you abused and Scoft amongst his betters ) hath fidled a little with your name for this once . I could play with some of your Maisters Memberships such as have gotten too good estates in being bad servants to His Majesty , As , Henry Vane Senior , annagram , Ruines anye Honer , Henry Vane Iunior , annagram , I Honer vaine Ruyn , Or , William Fines , annagram , I am Sinful Evil . I could fool with the quondam Grooms name , and tell him , there was a time when he was Rich and very poor at once , till by his Majesties Grace , he was Rich in Honour and estate , and now by his Ingratitude , he is turn'd poor again , scarce worth a Clout or Ragge of Holland . Then you tell us that Denmarke and France are puzled by the Sweadish designe ; indeed it behooves all the Kings of the Earth , to take it into serious consideration how dangerous it is for Monarchie , to be Assaulted by a Rebellious Anarchie . And ( Arrogantly ) you spend your Iudgement , that nothing can help but Spain , and the pawne of Ireland , yes Sir , there is one that you know not , ( or scarcely ever think on ) that both can and will help , without the help of man or forreign Nations , or pawn of a Kingdom . If you would but take God in your mind , you would quickly guesse who it is that will help , but your cause is so bad , that you are faine to buy and begge help of your Brethren , ( some Rebellious Scots ) for the payment of whom , you have pawn'd more then Kingdoms , for you have morgaged your soules to the Divell , by your execrable perjury , Oathes , Vowes , Protestations and Covenants . You heare that Holland is about to set forth some Declaration at this time , if it be of his own writing , I shall doe him the Honour to Laugh at it . You call Warwick , your unmatchable Admirall , a brave man by Sea and Land , It is true that he is unmatchable in this Rebellion , and his markes of a Brave man , is his wicked constancy in an accurst cause . Sir Tho. Fairfax , and Sir William Brereton are to high ( you say ) for any title that you can give them , they are not so high as they deserve , by tenne steps at least . Then you tell us , that you had forgot one peice of Newes , you may doe well , to let us have some small peice for our mony , for you have told us of no newes yet , But what is your piece of Newes , some good stuffe no doubt , like the rest before ; But stand a side and be uncover'd , this newes is an humble wish , that ( for the Edification of the Ignorant people ) their two thinne Howses of Lower uppermost , and Vpper lowermost ( which he calls the Estates ) would be pleased , beneath and above , to annex to their commands , for the Reading them in all Churches , for the Citty knowes enough already , and the Country to little , And is it not fit that seeing all Order , Decency , and Doctrine of Christianity is ( irreligiously ) and Blasphemously thrust out of the Churches with you , that in the Room thereof , the Railings and Revilings of this Weekly Rabshekah may be brought in , which may in future ages make Mercurius Brittanicus , as famous for his Madnewes and Accurst Nonsence Dreams , as Mahomet is for his Alcaron . Then you say , that the Parliament were in the worst condition , if it could not command all other Courts in punishing Delinquents , but if your Thing at Westminster , were a Parliament , they would have punished you for Traiterous Libells , against the sacred Majesties of the King and Queene , the Royall posterity , the Reverend Clergy , the faithfull Nobility and Gentry , the true hearted Commonalty , and finally , against the Peace of all His Majesties Kingdoms , these are such delinquencies , that they deserve lesse then to be dream'd a Parliament , that gives them encouragement and Rewards , these are no Acts , or Symptoms of a Parliament . Lastly your words are , That you doe not take Armes against the King , but against those about Him , Cod is about Him , and I hope ever will be , and environ him with his all saving protection , the blessed successe he hath had in being still preserved from dangers , might make you believe that God is about him , if you mean his trusty servants that are about him , that 's no newes , it is their Honour to be hated for their Maisters sake . And if he will needs involve himselfe into their Ruine ( then belike you mean utterly to ruine them and the King together ) you can but only pray and sigh for the misfortune of the King , with a publique Thansgiving , Doing still our duty to the King . We thank you for your manners , I know none you have . Thus Mounster Mercurius Brittanicus , I have trac'd , track'd and truely answerd all your madnesse for one week , which is as much as if I had confuted all that you have done , can , or will doe , but if you meddle with me again . I shall make so bold , to bung up your Chaps with a Gravesend Toast . FINIS . 
A64188	----	The noble cavalier caracterised, and a rebellious caviller cavterised by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64188 of text R2370 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T490). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 22 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64188 Wing T490 ESTC R2370 11950229 ocm 11950229 51372 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64188) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 51372) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 516:35) The noble cavalier caracterised, and a rebellious caviller cavterised by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 8 p. s.n., [Oxford? [Oxfordshire] : 1643] Caption title. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. eng A64188 R2370 (Wing T490). civilwar no The noble cavalier caracterised, and a rebellious caviller cauterised. By John Taylor. Taylor, John 1643 3907 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-07 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE NOBLE CAVALIER CARACTERISED , AND A REBELLIOUS CAVILLER CAUTERISED . By JOHN TAYLOR . TO begin roundly , soundly , and profoundly , The Cavalier is a Gentleman , a Commander on Horsebacke ; The Caviller is a Rascall , whether he swim , go , or ride ; the Cavalier dares fight and be valiant , obey Law , and serve for his Soveraigne , his Countrey , for the true Religion established , for the Lawes , for the Subjects Liberty , for the Rights and Priviledges of Parliaments , and for the peace , conservation and tranquillity of all these he will send his best blood , and life too , and thinke them well spent ; the Caviller dares quarrell , but not fight , he dares rebell and not obey , he transformes his obedience into refractory contempt , his love into loathing of Loyalty ; his Religion into false hypocriticall Faction , the service of his King he translates into Treason , his service to his Countrey is his Countries ruine , his seeming to support the Lawes , is on purpose to be lawlesse , the Subjects Right and Liberty he metamorphiseth into oppression , slavery and bondage , the Rights and Priviledges of Parliaments he destroyes with defending , and against the peace of all these he will plot , contrive , invent , contemplate , meditate , slander , lye , write , raile , libell , and do or say any thing but what is just , true , and honest . All which Villanies are so contrary to a cavalier , that a greater disparity is not betwixt Light and Darknesse , or between God and Belial ; and although the blacke mouth'd , venom'd tooth'd Caviller doth dayly seek to sully and blast the name of a Cavalier , by bestowing on them the sweet stinking Epithites and Titles of Damme , renounce , consume , confound , sinke , and the like execrable Blasphemies , which indeed are inexcusable , and inevitably damnable ; yet I must be so plain with the Caviller , as to tell him that Lot's Incest was no excuse for Achan's Theft , Cain's committing Murder was no warrant for Achitophel to give treacherous Counsell , nor was Rabsheka's blasphemy any president for the lying hypocrisie of Ananias and Saphira ; no more are the detestable and damnable Oathes with which the Caviller doth charge and scandall the Cavalier , any presidents to move or maintain lying , dissimulation , cheating , Rebellion , Treason , &c. Nor can I believe the saint seeming Caviller , that the Cavalier hath taken all the prophane swearing from him , for if he will but call his seared , cauterized Conscience to a strict examination , it will tell him , that he hath sworne an Oath of Allegiance to be loyall to his King , which Oath is recorded in Heaven , and the breach of it is to be punished in Hell , of the violation of which Oath the Cavalier is guiltlesse , and the Caviller most damnably guilty . We must with humble thankfulnesse confesse the great blessings which the Almighty hath been graciously pleased to multiply upon the learned and pious paines taking of our Preachers , for they do preach and exhort to the amendment of life and manners ; they do pray to the God of peace for the peace of God , and they do implore and invocate the Throne of Grace , for the Conversion of all cavilling contentious Preachers , and all the rest of malicious and ignorant seduced Cavillers , that ( seeing their errouts ) they may heartily and unfeignedly repent for their Rebellions and Treasons , against the Lord and against his Anointed . Those Preachers have so prevailed in their good endeavours , that they have and daily do beat down swearing , and wound the Consciences of the swearers with the Sword of the Spirit , so that the Cavaliers can afford the Cavillers and their holy Armies all their Oathes , and their Drunkennesse too , although it is manifestly known that you have been alwayes provided , by the helpe of your Grand Signiour of the Lower blacke House , to furnish all the Armies in Christendome with those accursed conditions . It was never known that all Souldiers should be found to be All Saints , or that a whole Army consisted of none but godly and religious Persons , some may be drawn ( out of blinde zeale ) by opinion and imagined good intents ; also there are great numbers that beare Armes more for company than conscience , more for spoile and plunder than for the Cause which they seem to stand for ; some plunged deep in Debts run to the Warres for Acquittances , and perhaps pay their Creditours with cutting their throats ; some servants and Apprentices turne raw Souldiers , to free themselves from their Master's command ; some Fellons , Ravishers , Man slayers and Murderers , run to the Warres to escape the Hangman ; and of all these virtuous sorts of Vermin is the Cavillers whole Force compacted , whose Leaders and Abetters are ambitious , pernicious , avaritious , malicious , seditious , not caring how long these miserable calamities of Warre endure , so that by their Trickes , Sleights , Votes , Excises , Plunderings , Robberies , and extorting Taxations , they make England like a Mill , and themselves ( like thievish Millers ) may imperiously and securely take trible Toll of the Goods and Estates of all the English Protestants , and loyallest Subjects in the Kingdome , or of as much as their usurping Power can lay hold on . But their zealous Pulpit men have so rooted them in the rudiments of Rebellion , that they are perswaded that their Cause is meritorious , their being beaten is victorious , and if they be killed , their deaths are glorious ; but if they understood , that he that desperately runnes himselfe into forbidden wickednesse ( as Rebellion and Treason is ) doth precipitate himselfe into needlesse dangers , and if he catch his death in the action , ( for ought I know ) he is so farre from a reward of future glory , as any of the Devils Martyrs are from eternall happinesse . Moreover the Cavalier hath a naturall and earnest desire to better his condition , he hath that discretion as not to wish himselfe worse to day than he was yesterday , & desires to be better to morrow than he is to day ; whilest the Caviller followes the Devil's rule , that as he hath been bad , so it is his safest way to be worse , and that to be worst of all is his securest defence , his surest Guard being to defend old wickednesses with new villanies , and former transgressions with quotidian iniquities , for many do go to the Warres , not to lose their old faults but to gain fresh and new ones ; and as the Caviller holds himselfe to be a Subject out of curtesie not conscience ; so the Cavalier doth know himselfe bound to be a true Liegeman to his King , not out of curtesie but conscience . The caviller amplifies the casuall slips and frailties of other men , and selfe-flatteringly extenuates his own grosse enormities , he is quicke-sighted to spy a mote , but purblinde in discerning a beame , he will out-face a man that the smallest Geneva Print are the greatest Capital Letters , and that the roaring voyce of sientor , is but the squeling of a Pigmie ; the Cavalier knowes his own faults to be greatest , and could be as contented to be quiet honourably , as to fight valiantly , he hath honest and unstained reputation besides a life to lose ; whilest the Cavillers and their memorable Members of infamous and impious remembrances may bravely persist in Rebellion , for they have nothing to lose that is good , except the stolne Goods of the King and Kingdomes ; they cannot lose Honour , for that is lost already , and forfeited by Rebellion and most horrid Treason ; they cannot lose a Gentleman , for their Gentility is gone hand in hand with the lost Honour ; they cannot lose a Protestant , for they have none of that Religion to be killed , except they murder them ; nor can they lose a good Subject , for there is not one in their Armies : they may lose Traitours , Rebells , Thieves , Anabaptists , Brownists , Libertines , Hypocrites , Schismatickes , Separatists , Cheaters , and Cuckolds , but for them to lose an honest man is as impossible as to paint an Eccho , or make the Moon a new Coat . So that in this case the Cavaliers are at an exceeding great disadvantage , to fight with those unkinde kinde of Creatures , for they adventure Pearles against Pebles , and Gold to Dirt , a thousand pound to a nut-shell , and a large Kingdome to a small Mole-hill . Indeed the inveterate hatred and malice of the Cavillers is no longer than they live , but ( in their own life time ) it extends towards the dead , for they have barbarously entred into Churches , ( which are dedicated to the Service of God , and consecrated onely for pious and Divine Services ) and there they have not onely torne and broken down all Ornaments of Order and comely Decency , but also they have rased Tombes , Sepulchres , Statues , Monuments , Bones , Eschucheons , Armes , Hatchments , and any thing that was either erected , engraven , carved , or insculped as most reverend Memories of the dead , the least part of which irreligious inhumanity would never have entred into the thought of the most savage Heathens , Pagans , Infidels , Cannibals , Atheists , Anthropophagi or Devils . But note , and with horrour and trembling consider , how the Divine Vengeance hath suddenly confounded some of those malicious or mislead Wretches , a few of which fearfull Examples I will truly relate . It is not long since , that a sincere senselesse Church-warden at the Town of Teuxbury ( in the yeare of his Reigne ) caused a stone-Crosse in the Church-yard to be pulled down , and in the upper part of it , wherein was graven or carved the Figures of our Saviour's remembrance Crucified , with the Formes of two persons weeping at the foot of the Crosse , in memory of the extreme greifes and dolours which then afflicted the blessed Virgin , and Evangelist Saint John ; which part of the Crosse M. Church-warden caused to be hewen by a Mason into a Hog-trough , ( he being of the race of the Gadarens , and loved his Swine better than any memory of his Redeemer ) but within two or three dayes all his Hogges and hoggish Beasts were strucken dead , his Wife ran mad , his Children , one was drowned , and himselfe strook with a miserable languishing Disease , and died a wretched spectacle , or admirable miracle of misery . Another that boldly adventured to climbe up to pull down the Crosse in Cheap-side , but he slipped his hold-fast , and fell with his ribbes upon the iron pikes or grate which encompast the Crosse , so that he was wounded to death with the fall . Also , at Worcester , a fellow would take upon him to teare down the Organs , and he fell from the top of them down upon the pavement of the Church , and brake his bones , that he presently died . Moreover , in Oxford , when the Rebelis were there 1642. they most insolently marched through the Streets , and impiously one of their Dragoones shot at the Figures of our Saviour , and the blessed Virgin , and with the shot beat and battered off the heads and faces of the harmelesse Figures , but he presently fell from his Horse , to the great endangering of a neck-breaking . Another , the same time shot at the Similitude of Christ , over the Gate of All-Soule : Colledge , and his Piece brake and split and shivered his hand in pieces . Also at Merton Colledge , another impudent Varlet did the like , but his powder-bagge being open , a sparke of his Match fell into it , which set fire on his Powder , and blew out both his eyes . And but for two of these three Villanies , I would not have mentioned any of them , but that I knew one Master Thomas Rogers a Chirurgian ( deceased ) in Oxford , had them in Cure , and he whose hand was torne was cured ( though maimed ) the other had one of his eyes recovered : and these Examples are sufficient to deterre and hold mens hands from impious Sacriledge . Moreover ( to seasen all the rest ) I must not omit the zeale of a devout Brother , whose name is Francis Beale , ( dwelling in the Axe-yard in Kings Street , Westminster . ) this Beale was sometimes an Ale-house-keeper and Tobacco-man , that with pot and pipe , nicke , froath , puffe , and whiffe , gat a devillish deale of money , by punishing , cheating , and beggering of Drunkards ; then he gave over that kinde of life , and was a Porter to the Lady Kincleavin , since when he is turned Gentleman , and contributary bountifull Rebell ; this Beale hath a son at mans estate , ( a proper honest man ) who left father , mother , Sectarisme and Rebellion , and hath long served in His Majesties Army , ( which his father and mother hold to be Apostasie ) and she good old Gentlewoman , with griefe and sorrow that her son was so undutifull as to be a Protestant , and a good Subject , she caused a Bill to be written to have him prayed for in the Church , which Bill was delivered in Martin's Church neare Chearing-Crosse , to the famous Master Case , the Lecturer there on Thursdayes ; the Forme of the Bill was as followeth . These are to desire you to take into your Christian considerations the griefe and sorrow of one Mistris Beale of Westminster , whose son Francis Beale is fallen away from grace , and serves the King in his Warres . Wherefore she most humbly beseecheth the prayers of this Congregation , that he may returne and be converted . But this kinde Gentlewoman was not so fixed to Brownisme , Anabaptisme , or Round-headisme , but that within these few yeares she was in hope that her hypocriticall going to heare Masse at the Queenes Chappell at Denmarke House , would have been the meanes to have made her either a Nurse , a Rocker , or a necessary Chairewoman to the Duke of Glocester , but though she failed of her Office , there was an old Knight , with a great feather , no haire , and so much wit that he entertained her all night ( for her better edification in the Catholique Cause ) in imitation of the Signe where she dwelt , [ An Axe cutting of a Feather ] by this you may perceive how constant the Creature is in any Religion . I have read that George , King of Bohemia , and John , King of Hungaria , were at deadly Warre for Religion , and after much blood shed , the Kings having each of them a Foole or a Jester , they agreed that their Fooles should have a single Combate at Buffets , and which of them wan the Victory at Cuffes , that both the Kings should be of the same Religion with the Conquerour ; and such as this was the zeale of Mistris Beale and many thousands more shallow-brain'd , malicious , ignorant , and seduced people that are Rebells for Religion , when as ( God knowes ) there is no Religion for Rebellion , nor can they shew any Reason why or wherefore they are thus mad against all obedience , order , and loyalty to God and their Soveraigne . But as poore silly Sheep run all together , And in confusion send they know not whether ; So those mad People , pray , disburse , and fight , Not knowing truths from lyes , or wrong from right : The Multitude like Dogges with open jawes , One bawles cause t'other barkes , yet knowes no cause : Aske Rebells what 's the reason they rebell , And aske Dogges why they barke , They cannot tell . Thus with the deluding and threatenings of lying Lecturers , and printed Lyes , the Gates of London are shut and guarded so strongly , that Truth or Honesty can get no entrance , for it is a most dangerous thing for a Protestant or a true subject to live there ; they may be perhaps perswaded to have a King , but they would have that King to have no Kingdome , they might be brought to call Him their Soveraigne Lord , but withall that he shall be without any Dominion , and they may be entreated to be called his subjects , provided that he will be subject to them ; but I advise them , that as they have made bold to call themselves a Parliament , and been bolder to make a counterfeit Great Seale , so they may fill up the measure of their iniquities , and ( by Master Prinnes Law ) by as good right make a fresh and new counterfeit King ; or if no man will be so impudent or insolent to accept it , take a suit of John Pym's cloathes well brush'd , pick'd , and lowsed , and stuffe it with straw , which being placed in the Throne will be a suitable Soveraigne to support the power of your Seale , Orders , Votes , and pretended Soveraigne Power of your Vtopian Parliament . If rebellious and bewitched London would with her many headed , mislead Beasts , but examine themselves truly of two things , they would then perceive what falsities the grand Cavillers have blinded them withall , and to what misery their cavilling hath brought them , and ( if God prevent not ) will bring them into irremediable destruction . The first thing I wish them to call their consciences to an account of , is , why they were Rebells at all ? The second is , wherefore they do obstinately and execrably continue in Rebellion ? If every Caviller would catechise himselfe , they would finde that they have wandred in vanity , and followed after Lyes . They would hang down their heads with shame , and acknowledge themselves worthy to be hanged for their treacherous disobedience , and open hostile Treasons against so good and gracious a Soveraigne , they would then consider to what a ruinous Desolation they have brought this famous flourishing Kingdome , whose Government was admired and honoured through the whole world ; till now of late a multitude of mis-begotten and worse bred Rebells have done their best and worst to bring all to confusion . For which wicked purposes they have made bold to make Mercury their counterfeit poste , poste-horse and pack-horse , who under the names of Civicus , Britannicus , Scoutes , Scottish Pigeons , and other pretty , ill-contrived , sweet , filthy , sophisticated Titles and Epithites , hath beswarmed all the Christian world over with English Lyes , written by as very Villaines as could be spew'd from the bottomlesse Pit , disperst by as arrant Rogues as ever dropped into the Hangmans budget , and believed and countenanced by none but malicious Traitours , superstitious , nose-wise Schismatickes , or ignorant logger-heads , the fruits , and damnable events that have been produced from these Diabolicall practices . Contrarily , the Cavalier knowing his cause just , applies himselfe onely to Truth , both in fighting and writing , they have used three sorts of Christian Discipline to the Cavillers , in a charitable desire to conforme them . First , they have given them kinde admonitions , wherein they have told them truly , that the Publique Faith in which they have too much confided is no Faith either to be saved by , or to be made savers ; they have further advertised them to beware of Sects , and believing seditious Counsels , because they were motives to Rebellion , which is as the sin of Witchcraft , 1 Sam. 15. 23. Secondly , when Admonition would do no good with these Cavillers the Cavaliers did take a little stiffer course , and from exhortation they fell to reprehension , telling them roundly that they were seduced and blinded by feares , flatteries and jealousies out of their earthly estates and lives , and extremely hazarding the losse of a better life to come . But when neither kinde Admonition , or wholesome Reprehension would worke upon their perfidious and benummed consciences , then were the Cavaliers inforced ( for their own safety ) to take defensive Armes , and to use the meanes to save the Cavillers soules , by beating them Northerly , Westerly , and most brotherly both in Wales and England ; and by those wayes to belabour them out of their bad conditions into better manners : to this end and purpose , the Cavalier party have not onely used the Spirituall and Temporall Swords , but also they have with their pennes so banged and basted their libellous and rebellious forgeries , and ridiculous fopperies , that their Ballad-makers and Pamphletteers are defunct , the bright lustre of Truth hath eclipsed them and gulleries , so that like rotten Sheep they would be glad to sculke under a hedge for shelter : and it is manifest that the Pen of a true Writer will cut keener than a Sword , when a lying , scandalous Knave cuts his own throat with his own Goose Quill . Of the which scribling number , the nine times thrice valiant , conquering , commanding Captain George Withers hath written a pretty , foolish , witty , loyall , traiterous Book called Campo Musae , composed of the two most delicate Simples , Flattery and Treason : but I leave him and the rest of the railing Rabble of Rabshekaes to amend or be hanged , and that is a FINIS . 
A64189	----	Nonsence upon sence, or, Sence, upon nonsence chuse you either or neither : written upon white paper, in a browne study, betwixt Lammas day and Cambridge, in the yeare aforesayd / by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64189 of text R2497 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T491). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 20 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 9 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64189 Wing T491 ESTC R2497 11950344 ocm 11950344 51386 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64189) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 51386) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 516:36) Nonsence upon sence, or, Sence, upon nonsence chuse you either or neither : written upon white paper, in a browne study, betwixt Lammas day and Cambridge, in the yeare aforesayd / by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 16 p. [s.n.], London : 1651. In verse. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. eng A64189 R2497 (Wing T491). civilwar no Nonsence upon sence: or Sence, upon nonsence: chuse you either, or neither. Written upon white paper, in a browne study, betwixt Lammas day Taylor, John 1651 3479 2 0 0 0 0 0 6 B The rate of 6 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-10 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-12 John Latta Sampled and proofread 2002-12 John Latta Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Nonsence upon Sence : OR SENCE , UPON NONSENCE : Chuse you either , or neither . Written upon White Paper , in a Browne Study , betwixt Lammas Day and Cambridge , in the Yeare aforesayd . By JOHN TAYLOR . LONDON , Printed in the Yeare , 1651. Nonsence upon Sence , &c , MOunt meekly low , on blew presumptuous wings , Relate the force of fiery water Springs , Tell how the Artick and Antartick Pole Together met , at Hockley in the Hole : How Etna and Vessuvius , in cold blood , Were both drown'd in the Adriatick flood . Speake truth ( like a Diurnall ) let thy pen Camelion like , rouse Lyons from their Den , Turne frantick Woolpacks into melting Rocks , And put Olympus in a Tinder box . Report how Russian Cats do bark like Dogs , And Scithian Mountains are turn'd Irish Bogs . Feast Ariadne with Tartarian Tripes , Transform great Cannons to Tobacco-pipes : Make Venus like a Negro , white as Jet . And puffepaste of the Tombe of Mahomet . Then mounted on a Windmill , presently To Dunstable in Darby shire I 'le flie : From thence I 'le take the Chariot of the Sunne And swim to Scotland , and bring newes what 's done . From thence I le soare to silver Cinthia's lap , And with Endymion take a nine years nap : There I le drink healths with smug fac'd Mulciber At all the twelve signes in the Hemisphere . Tush tell not me these things are past dispute , I le from th' Hesperides bring golden fruit : Such as the Poets Palfrey Pegasus , Fetch'd from the fertile Mole-hill Caucasus . 'T is not the Persian Gulph , or Epshams Well , Nor Westminsters sweet Plum broath ( made in Hell ) Can change my resolution ; I have vow'd , To speake with silence , and to write aloud , That bulls of Basan , and the Circean Swine , Shall al dance Trenchmore at these works of mine . Rouse up thou Ghost of Guzman , and apply Thy selfe to me , and let 's write Tempe dry : Be rul'd by me , we 'le empty all Hellicon , In scribling gainst the whore of Babylon ; The Dunsmore Cowes milke shall make Sillibubs , And our Religion shall be brought in Tubs . Make haste unto the Fayre calld Bartholomew , And thence , from the Heroick Mungrell Crew , Take the fine Gewgaw hobby horses all , Which we will man , and then a Counsell call , And conquer Callice , Kent and Christendome , Knock down the Turk , and bravely ransack Rome . What can be done more ? what more can be sed ? Let 's play at Blind-man-buffe for ginger bread : We 'le have a dish of Dabs in Fish-street drest , And with the Lobsters Lady we will feast . For as the Gout is but a pleasing itch . The best Beare-garden Bull dog , was a Bitch . We have both eight , and eighteen parts of speech , Whereby I find Ash burnes as well as Beech . Gargantuas scull is made a frying pan , To fry or follow the Leviathan , That Gogmagog , Nick Wood or Mariot , Nor Creatan , Miloe , or Iscariot , Were not such valiant Stomack'd men as those That eat the Devils gowty petitoes . Hark , hark , how from the South fierce Boreas rores ; Give me a Sculler , or a paire of Oares , I le make the Orient and the Occident , Both friends at Smithfield in the wild of Kent . For now Tom Holders Mare hath broke her Crupper , Dresse me a dish of AE-dipthongs to supper . The Dean of Dunstable hath bought and sold Twelve lies new printed , for two groats in gold . T is almost past the mamory of man Since famous Arthur first in Court began : Yet though King Lud did raign in Troynovaunt , Will Summers was no kin to John a Gaunt . What news from Trippolie ? wat●ho●s there ho : The West wind blowes South North at Jerico . Steere well and steddy , boys look look to th' Helme : Fetch Gooseberries that grow upon the Elme : Like Cormorants let 's live upon the Ayre , And of a Whirlepoole make a marble chaire . Blind men may see , and deafe men all shall heare , How dumb men talk because Cow hides are deare . Go to th' Utopian Kingdome and relate , That to their King these lines I dedicate : Bid him take note of me , and understand , He hath not such a Poet in his Land . Down by the dale with Milk and Creame that slowes . Upon a Hill ( below the valley ) grows Hungarian Peacocks , white as crimson Geese , There sate a Rat upon a Holland Cheese . No sooner did blind Bayard see the sight : Two beauteous ugly Witches took their flight To tell the King of China wondrous newes How all Scotch Knaves were hang'd , and English Jews . Th' Athenian Hidra , and the Bird Torpedo Were catch'd in France , in Mouse-traps neare Toledo . A Scolopendra comming from Pickthatch Made drunke a Constable , and stole the Watch . Do what you can Madge howlet is an Owle : And Beans with Buttermilk is rare wild Fowle . The Coblers daughter , we three both together We 'le match : he 'le give a thousand pieces with her ; Besides the smoak of Keinsam , and Bell-Swagger , Who oft at Mims did use his dudgeon Dagger . Then shall the Pericranians of the East . South , North , and West with every bird and Beast ; All Knuckle deep in Paphlagonian Sands Inhabit Transilvanian Netherlands . 'T is th' onely gallant way to gain promotion , To squeeze Oyle from the Cinders of devotion , Translate our Roundhead Turnigs into Carrers , And turn the lowest Cellers to high Garrets . Let Neptune be a Shepheard , and let Vulcan Make hast to Greenland , and there drinke his full Kan . Titus Andronicus hath writ a Treatise Of Mole-hills in the Entrailes of Dame Theatis , Wherein a man may learn before he looks To catch mince-pies , with neither nets or hooks . There Policy with practice cut and dry'd Were Carted both in triumph through Cheapside . If Monday hang himself , no further seek , Henceforward Tuesday shall begin the weeke . No more of that I pray , I am afear'd There 's not one haire upon Diana's beard . Great Agamemnon late combin'd with Hector , To preach at Amsterdam an Irish Lector , Which shall convert the Horse , the Asse and Mule , And all the Beasts in Hipperborean Thule . If Sun-shine will with shaddows but consent , We 'le make the winter of our discontent To force fierce Crook-back into better tune , And turne Decembers heat to frost in June . When this externall substance of my soule Did live at liberty , I caught wild fowle , I was a Caitiffe in the Court of Spaine , And playd at shuttle-cock with Charlemaigne . Then I did magnifie and mundifie , Then I the Fairy Queene did putrifie , And purifie again , and dignifie , All such as did her greatnesse deifie , Females did edifie and fructifie , And amplifie and coldly gratifie . The Lake of Learna I did clarifie , My Verse the Ethiop Queen did beautifie , With rage my patience I would qualifie , I can both certifie and testifie How Death did live , and Life did mortifie : Feare alwayes did my courage fortifie , He 's crafty that his wits can rectifie : To villifie , make glad and terrifie , And with course words old debts to satisfie , That man , I le ratifie and notifie , To be one that himselfe will justifie , And fie , fo , fum , concludes him with O fie . Thus from complexions I have Minerals drawne , Brave Captaine Fumble layd his sword to pawne To ransome Jeffery Chausers Cipresse Gowne , Thersites with a Rush knock'd Ajax downe ; Imperious Momus wrot th' Atlantick story Of wars betwixt Achilles and John Dory : 'T was dedicated to the Isle of Lundy . An Emblem ●ight of transit gloria mundi . Let not the distances of place molest us , Abidos is not forty miles from Sestus : As Hero lov'd Leander I 'le agree , Though he and she were mad , what 's that to me ? 'T is likely Cleopatra and Antonius Met , but saw not the Cardinail Barronius : The Capitoll , and silken Rack Tarpeyus In a Seadan to Lichfield shall convey us ; And like a wheele-barrow we 'le cut and curry , And fetch good newes from Shropshire and from Surry : There is no Eunuch of the Race of Brutus , That either can confute us , or cornute us . Old Solon was no Jester , nor no Jyber , And English Thames is better then Romes Tyber : I tooke a Cammell , and to Naples went I , Of pickled Sausedges I found great plenty ; The Gudgeon catcher there , o're top'd the Nobles , And put the Viceroy in a peck of troubles : Brave tag rag multitude of Omnium Gatherum , Shuffle 'um together , and the Devill father 'um : But now and then was squeez'd a rich Delinquent , By which good means away the precious chinke went : Renowned was the Rascall Massennello , In fifteen dayes he was raw , ripe , and mellow : Laugh , laugh , thou whining foole Heraclitus , And weep thou grinning Asse Democratus : The gray Horse is the better Mare by halfe , The Bull at Bear-Garden , and Walthams Calfe Are reconcil'd , but not concluded fully Who pleaded best . Demosthenes or Tully : I am indifferent , fill the other Kan , Logick hath Art to make an Ape a man : I weeping sing , to thinke upon the Quibblins 'Twixt Romane , and Imperiall Guelphs and Giblins , How Munsters John a Leide , and Knipperdoling Were barberous Barbers in the Art of poling . From Sence and Nonsence , I am wide , quoth Wallice , But not so far as Oxford is from Callice : Give me a Leash of merry Blades , right Bilboes , True tatterd Rogues , in Breech , Shirts , Skirts , and Elboes , And each of them will make a fit diciple , To ride up Holborne to the tree that 's triple . A man may think his purse is turn'd a Round-head , When all the crosses in it are confounded : 'T is said that Poetry a thriving trade is , And gets a world of wealth from Lords and Ladies , The devill they do , false shamefull Lowne thou ly'st , And when thou canst no longer live , thou dy'st . Lend me Rhamnussnes Flanders blade , I 'le lash The sober Centaures , turn great Oaks to Ash : A long Dev'ls broath , be sure you bring a spoon , Our mornings shall begin at afternoone ; And Minos , Eacus , nor Rhadamantus May roare and rant , but never shall out rant us . As we are temporall , le ts be temporisers , We scorne to be surpriz'd , we 'le be surprizers : Let 's make grim Pluto stink , the welkin rumble , And Hollophernes bluster , Now and grumble , Rending up mighty thistles by the roots , Because an Hostler stole away his boots ; Then with á multiplying Gally pot , I 'le know the projects of the crafty Scot ; And then he shall be forc'd to hide his head In Tenebris , in Poland , or in Swead . Fough , this Tobacco stinks ; thou dirty Hag Abato faire , I le put thee in a bag . Search Asia , Affrick , and America , To find the Goddesse Berecinthia , And know how Pirramus and Thisbe fell Together by the eares , late in Bridewell . Words are but winde in terme time , but vacations Are fit to publish silent Proclamations . There was a businesse never vnderstood , The womans suit in Law was just and good : She lost the day , this did her cause disgrace , The Lawyer put some ill into her case . Before I le live this life , I le take a Knife , And drown my selfe , and then what needs a Wife ? Strange things are done by art and humane power : Quinborough Castle landed neare the Tower . Much like a prodigy old time playd Rex : A Kentish Castle came to Middlesex . May not a man cal'd Newgate dwell at Highgate , And wed a Widdow at the Pye at Algate ? Therefore let us like or dislike Presbytery , It will work finely , if it once besquitter ye . Bring me a Salamander from Surat in France , The Alps and the Pirenian hills shall dance . In Greenwich Parke there smiling Nioby Shall laugh and lye down like an Oyster Pye . Fame is a lying slut , she told me tales , That in October Christmas came from Wales : Believe it , take the wings of Icarus , And walke to Hounsditch , and to Erebus , There tell them plainly how the case stands here , And bring us word how matters do go there . Unto the Market I le run presently , And there a peck of troubles I will buy , One told me they would multiply and grow ; All England with them I will plant and sow : Which , as they ripen dayly I le take care That every living soule shall have a share . I le serve my selfe first , and I le have such store In time of need to serve a thousand more . But I forget my Theame , O soule offence ! This Nonsence hath a taste of too much sence : The Asse , Goose , Woodcocke , Buzzard , and the Gull , Beat out their Braines , and put them in my scull ; And tell the men of Gotham t is thought fit The Wise men there should lend me all their wit . For Nonsence I will taxe all Christendome , Great Emperours and Kings shall pay me some . And many a Major , or Justice of the Peace Will give me Tribute and the Tax increase To such a height , that Cardinals from Rome Cuckolds and Constables shall pay me some : Strong Hull , with fata I Hell , and Hallifax , Shall naturally bring me tole and tax . The mighty stock of Nonsence I will win , Shall be the universall Magazine For Universities to worke upon , The rich Philosophers admired Stone ; Then I make Poetsrich , and Us'rers poore ; And thus resolv'd , at this time write more . This Dedication is humbly directed to a living man , quartered into foure Offices , ( viz. ) a Scavenger , a Beadle , a Cobler , and halfe a Constable . To the high and mighty Davidius Vulcanus , Duke and Dominator of the Dunghils , and absolute , resolute , dissolute Scavenger of the Towne and Territories of Gravesend in Norfolk , great Master and Baron of the Wheelebarrow , the only Farmer , Transporter , Lord of the Soyle , and Privy searcher of all Mixens , and Muckhils , simple or compound , in the Liberties aforesaid . Cleanser , clearer , and avoyder of the most Turpitudinous , Merdurinous , excrementall offals , Muck and Garbadge . Refiner , Purger , Clarifier , Purifier , Mundifier , Excluder , and Expulser of Putrifactious and Pestiferous Contagions ; the Potentissimo , Excellentissimo , Invader , Scatterer , Disperser , Consumer and Confounder of offensive unsavoury savours , smels , scents , and vapours : Great Soldan , Sultan , and Grand Signiour over all varieties of stinks and stinkards ; most Triumphant Termagant , unresistable Conquerour and Commander of the major and minor ( the great and the lesse ) Turditanians , chiefe Corigidor and Beadle of all the Precinct , sole Transplanter , Terrifier , Controler , and Corrector of Beggers and Vagabonds . The terrible Hue and Cry Cryer , chiefe Court Cryer , Jayle-Keeper , and onely confiner of the Hogs ; chiefe and most frequent vigilant Watchman , demy Constable , and Image of Authority , the most accomplished Cobler , exquisite Translater , and exact Reformer of oppressed , decayed , wicked and oppressed seales : And the onely justiciary rectifier , underlayer and setter upright of such Brethren and Sisters , as doe go aside , and tread their foot awry in these dayes of vanity , and paths of iniquity : In hope ( Great Sir ) I have not abated you of the least tittle of your Title , your Honorable stile being so high , that no Christian , Pagan , Heathen , Turke , Jew , Infidell , Cuckold or Canniball , can never climbe to the top of it , there being a late report that your multiplicity and many affaires of State have distarbed your rest , and impaired your health , insomuch as it is thought your pericranion is crazed or cracked , and you thereby in danger to fall into a Callenturian disease , which is to be doubted may produce a Vertigo in your head , whereby your wit may be troubled with a superfluous flax , which may prove a molestation to your selfe , and the whole Towne , that hath in it selfe , and in every place round about it , more troubles then they can well beare . But if their hard fortune should be , that when you are working to your owne Ends , and that you should call for your Aule , and Death should mistake and bring you your Last , whereby such a privy member as your selfe might be publickly lost ; it is feared , griefe would overflow the whole Towne , and that some of the Townesmen ( with the helpe of their Wives ) would runne starke horne mad : To prevent this great detriment of such a losse as that Towne may undergo in this time of scarcity of wit , wisdome , and wise men ; for feare you should fall into the dangerous diseases of the Mubble-fubbles , or the grumbling in the Gizzard : Therefore ( 10 drive away dumps ) and to give you some Recreation , I have made bold to present your Greatnesse with this Dedication , which if you will vouchsafe but to read and understand , and in so doing you shall do more for the Auhour , then he ever was , or shall do himselfe . J. T Allandro pasqueto Mallatrumpa entangrino liuroe . ILvento Chioli , Mauritambull Teda fulgare , Antro della campo il Danto Cordi sublima Pantathos , stremo standina eschine vandri Bene in shendo , tercia penthe dissadi . Mecrops , Sans sida vocifera Randa Bavinea , Allatendrea quanto , Eltrada Pizminov venta , Mega Pollimunton , Theorba quasie qaicunque Tripolina Tiphon , Quabacondono sapho . Terra tragmus sophye , sunt diacalcitheo Geata . Avostre Obserdandi Zhean De Fistye Cankie De Sallamanca Andalowsia . Or thus you may English it , in the transcending praise of the Authour , and his Booke . TIll PHEBUS blustring blasts shall cease to blow , And AEOLUS shall hide his radient Raies , Till VULCANS Forge be fram'd of SCITHIAN Snow , And NEPTUNE like a Shepheard spend his dayes ; When SATURNE shall sell Mouse-traps , and allow MARS to fing Madrigalls , and Round delayes : Then shall thy Booke and thee be out of Date , And scorne the fury of consuming Fate . To your Worthinesse in all Observance Devoted . John Defistie Cankie Of Sallamanca in Andalusia . FINIS . 
A64190	----	The number and names of all the kings of England and Scotland, from the beginning of their governments to this present as also how long each of them reigned, how many of them came to untimely ends, either by imprisonments, banishments, famine, killing of themselves, poyson, drowning, beheading, falling from horses, slaine in battells, murthered, or otherwise / written by John Taylor ... Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64190 of text R10068 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T492). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 40 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 17 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64190 Wing T492 ESTC R10068 11815302 ocm 11815302 49530 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64190) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 49530) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 552:2) The number and names of all the kings of England and Scotland, from the beginning of their governments to this present as also how long each of them reigned, how many of them came to untimely ends, either by imprisonments, banishments, famine, killing of themselves, poyson, drowning, beheading, falling from horses, slaine in battells, murthered, or otherwise / written by John Taylor ... Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 32 p. [s.n], London : 1649. Reproduction of original in Bodleian Library. eng Great Britain -- Kings and rulers -- Early works to 1800. Scotland -- Kings and rulers -- Early works to 1800. A64190 R10068 (Wing T492). civilwar no The number and names of all the kings of England and Scotland, from the beginning of their governments to this present. As also how long eac Taylor, John 1649 6790 108 0 0 0 0 0 159 F The rate of 159 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the F category of texts with 100 or more defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-10 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion The Number and Names of all the Kings of ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND , From the beginning of their Governments to this Present . As also how long each of them Reigned , how many of them came to untimely Ends , either by Imprisonments , Banishments , Famine , Killing of themselves , Poyson , Drowning , Beheading , falling from Horses , Slaine in Battells , Murthered , or otherwise . Written by John Taylor , at the Signe of the Poets Head , in Phoenix Alley , neer the middle of Long Aker , or Covent Garden . LONDON , Printed in the Yeare 1649. NOVERINT VNIVERSI . BE it known unto all men &c. History hath such sorce and vertue that it wil make a man a Traveller that never went 10. miles from home ; it will describe unto him Cities , Countries , Manners , Lawes , Customes , Fashions , Wars and Peace both at Sea and Land , it will give him admittance to speake with his hat on to the greatest Emperours , Princes , and Poten●ates , and all sorts of people and Nations that have inhabited the whole world : all this , true and well written Histories will furnish a man withall in his owne chamber . And because great bookes are of great prices , and our large Chronicles are of such high rates , that all men cannot reach to , I have at , mine owne cost , written and caused this Briefe to be Printed . Many Writers do make doubts whether this Land had ever any King called Brute ; but the most Authours do affirme , that when Troy was spoyled by the Greekes , that Prince AEneas fled into Italy , and there he was married to a daughter of Latinus , King of Tuscany , now the Dukedome of Florence , by which Lady he had a son named Ascanius , who was the Father of Silvius Posthumus , and that Silvius was the Father of Brute ; Brute being but 15 years old , unfortunately as he in a Forrest was hunting , slew his Father Silvius with an arrow as he shot into a thicket , thinking he hadshot at a Deere , for which he was banished from that Countrey , and shipping himself with a good , or great , number of his followers , he landed here , and was the first King of this Land . This is the opinion of many grave Writers , but divers learned men do oppose those Authors . For my part , I am sure that one King or other did reigne here when this Land was first a Kingdome , and because it beares the ancient name of Brittain or Brutaine , I do hold with su● . Authours , as for Brute do hold with me . Anno Mundi 2858. Yeares before Christ 1108. 1 BRute raigned 24. yeeres : to his 3. sonnes Locrinus , Camber , and Albanact , hee gave to the first England , to the second Wales , to the third Scotland . 2 Locrine raigned 20. yeers ; he beat the Hunns ( or Hungarians ) hence , who would have invaded this land , and their King was drowned in Humber . 3 Queene Guendoline ( wife of Locrine ) raigned 15 yeers , beloved and honored for her just and vertuous government . 4 Madan raigned 40. yeeres , was eaten by Wolves , as he was hunting● he was fierce and tyrannous : he built Doncaster . 5 Mempricius , the son of Madan , raigned 20. yeers , and at last ( like his father ) was devoured by Wolves . 6 Ebrank , built Yorke , and reigned 21 yeeres : he had by 21. wives , and other females , 20. sonnes , and 30. daughters : he lived in the times of K. David and K. Solomon . 7 Brute 2. raigned 12. yeers , buried at York . 8 Leile raigned 25. yeers , built Carlile , and some say Chester . 9 Rudhudibras raigned 29. yeers , built Canterbury , Winchester , and Shaftsbury . 10 Bladud raigned 20. yeers , built Bathe , brake his neck in practising to flie . 11 Leire raigned 40. yeers : he built Leicester , before Christs birth 830 yeers . 12 Cordelia , the Daughter of Leire , raigned 5. yeers : kild her selfe in prison . 13 Morgan and Cunedague were brothers , and grandchildren to Leire : they ruled together , but Cunedague slew Morgan at Glamorgan in Wales , and raigned 33. yeers . 14 Rivallo raigned 46. yeers : it rained bloud 3. dayes in his time : Rome was built out of the putrefaction of the bloud that fell : it bred swarms of hornets and horseflies , that stung many folks to death ; insomuch that with famine , and other calamities , there died so many that they which lived were not enough to bury the dead . 15 Gurgustus raigned 38. yeers : a most vicious Drunkard , and his Brother , 16 Sicilius raigned 49. of both which our Histories make no good mention . 17 Iago raigned 25. yeers : a wicked Prince : he died of a sleepy Le●hargy . 18 Kimmarus raigned 54. yeers . 19 Gorbo●ug raigned 63. yeers , as some write and some write but 42. let the Reader beleeve as he pleaseth . 20 Ferex and Porex were brethren : they were the last Princes of the Race of Brute ; Porex killed Ferex ; to revenge which their mother kild Porex , by which meanes this Land was without a King , and at division many yeares , and shared into 5. petty kingdomes . Some say Ferex and Porex raigned 50. yeers , and others write but 5. 21 M●lmutius Donwallo raigned 40. yeers : hee was the sonne of a Cornish Duke , named Clotton : he brought this Land againe into one Monarchy , and was the first King that wore a Crowne of Gold . 22 Belinus and Brennus were brethren , and shared this Land betweene them ; but ( disagreeing ) Brennus was forced from hence into France , from whence hee went and wan Italy , ransackt Rome , and at a siege of Delphos in Greece , he slew himselfe : Belinus raigned 26. yeers : he builded the Port called Belingsgate . 23 Gurguintus raigned 19. yeeres , hee overcame the Danes , hee sent many scattered and distressed Spaniards to inhabite Ireland . 24 Guinthelinus raigned 26. yeeres : hee built Warwicke . 25 Cecilius raigned 7. yeers , and was buried at Caerleon in Wales . 26 Kimarus raigned 3. yeers : a wicked King , kild by a wild Beast in hunting . 27 Elanius raigned 9. yeers : histories make little mention of him . 28 Morindus raigned 8. yeers : he fought with a ravenous Sea-monster , which had devoured many people , who also devoured the King , but hee killed the Monster afterward , for he was found dead with his dagger in his hand , in the belly of his devourer . 29 Gorbomanus raigned 11. yeers : a good King , built Cambridge and Gra●ham . 30 Archigalo , ●lidurus , Vigenius , and Peredurus , 31 were crowned and deposed again , and with 32 shusfling fortunes these 4. Kings raigned 28. yeers . From the time of Elidurus to King Lud , there reigned in this Land 33. Kings , of whom Historians doe make very various , or little mention , I will therefore but only name them . Gorbonian raigned 10. yeers , Morgan 14. Emerianus 7 , deposed . Ival 20. Rimo 16. Geruncius 20. Catillus 10. hee caused all oppressors of the poore to be hanged . But since that time they have increased much . Coylus raigned 20. yeers , Ferex 5. Chirimu 1 he kild himselfe with excessive drinking . Fulgon raigned 2. yeers , Eldred 1. Androgius 1. Eliud 5. Dodamius 5. Gurginius 3. Merianus 2. Blodunus 2. Capenus 3. Quinus 2. Sillius 2. Bledgabredus 10. Rodianus 2. Archemalus 2. Eldalus 2. Redargius 3. Samullius 2. Penisellus 3. Pirhus 2. Caporus 2. Dinellus 4. Helius ( or Elius ) 1. From this King the I le of Ely had its name . Of these Kings , 24. of them had very short times of either lives or raigns ; 4 of them raignd but 4 yeers , ( that is to say , each of them raignd but one yeere ) and in that course 11 of them reigned 22 yeares ( to years each , as many years as Eares ) 4 reigned each three yeares , and one reigned 4 years ; 3 had the happy , or unhappinesse to beare the royall toile , hazard and slavery each 4 years . But although Records and Histories are burnt , lost , and falsified , by the injury of warres , alteration of times , and partiality or flattery of Writers , that there is no mention made by what meanes all these Kings did come to their long homes in so short a time . It is more then conjecturable , that they died not all in their beds . 64 King Lud reigned 11. yeers : he named Troy-novant , ( or this City of new Troy ) Kair-Lud , or Lu●stowne : hee enlarged the building of London , from Ludgate ( which he founded for Freemen to lie in bondage ) to London stone , which stone was set up in memory of Lud , 60. yeeres before the Incarnation of our Saviour . 65 Cassibelane raignd 17. yeers : the 2. sonnes of Lud and Cossibelane fild this Land with blody contention , that whilst they strived for the mastry , Julius Caesar came in and mastred them . 66 Theomancius the son of Lud raigned 22. yeers : all that I can write of him is , that in memory of his Father and himselfe , his statue is on Ludgate . 67 Cimbelinus raigned 21. yeers : in his Raigne the Heavens did raine the showres , flouds , innundations of gratious love and favour to most miserable Mankinde ; for in this Kings time our blest Redeemer Jesus Christ was borne . 68 Guiderius raigned 21. yeers : in his time our Saviour suffered ; then Tiberius Caesar was Emperour of Rome , and commanded the knowne world . 69 A●viragus 28 yeares , a valiant man ; he founded and built Gloucester . 70 Marius reigned 53 years , he did much for the repairing of the Citie of Chester ; in his time , it is written , that good Joseph of Aramathea came hither , and taught the people Christianitie at Glastonbury in Somersetshire ; some Writers say that he was buried there , in a Chappell of his owne erecting , of which I saw the ruines and rubbish remaining in the yeare of grace , 1649. 71 Coylus the second reigned 55 years ; he built Coylchester , and was interred at York . 72 Lucius was the first King , of any Land a Christian , by the meanes and perswasion of godly men whom Elutherius Bishop of Rome sent hither , the King and People were brought from Paganisme to Christianity : Lucius cast downe 28 Heathen Temples , and erected Churches for Gods service . He reign'd 12 years , buried at Glocester , Anno Christi , 194. 73 Severus was an Emperour of Rome , he reign'd 18 years , he made a strong wall between England and Scotland , to secure us from the Invasion of the Scots , the wall was 112 miles in length , from the River Tyne to the Scottish Seas . Hee was slaine 78 years of age . 74 Bassianus reigned 6 years , he was Emperour of Rome , and son to Severus . 75 Ca●rasius reign'd 7 years , slaine by Alectus our first English Martyr ( Saint Alba● suffred martyrdome in his time . 76 Alectus was a bloudy Tyrant , reign'd 3 year killed by Asclepiodates . 77 Asclepiodates reign'd 2 yeares , as some do write , others relate 30 years ; he was all slain by Coyle Duke of Colchester . 78 Coyle Duke of Colchester reign'd 14 years , h● married Hellen who was the mother ● the Emperour Constantine , she beautifie●Jerusalem , with many faire buildings an● Churches , and she also walled London an●Colchester , where Coyle was buried , An. 315● 79 Constantius reigned 4 years , a good King , buried at York . 80 Constantine the great was an English m●●orne , he was Emperour of the Christia● world ; he was the Founder of Constant●nople , which was an old ruin'd Towne called Bizantium , he was zealous for God glory , for which he was honoured o● earth , and doubtlesse eternally glorified● He raigned 22. yeers . 81 Constantinus raigned 5. yeers , and his brothe● 82 Constantius 3. yeers : these were the sonnes●● the great Constantine : they raigned together , and together by the eares they fell , and never agreed till death made an end of the quarrell . 83 Octavius ( as some do relate ) raigned 54. yeers : he was Duke of Windsor ; hee was slaine by Traherus who succeeded him . 84 Traherus raigned 6. yeers , An. Dom. 353. 85 Constantius 2. raigned 1. yeer , slain by Gratia● . 86 Maximinianus raignd 1. yeer , slain by Gratian . 87 Gratian reigned not one full yeer , was slain : This Land at this time shook off the Roman oppression , having beene vassalls and payd tribute to Rome 483. yeers , An. Do. 446 88 Vortiger raigned 6. yeers : hee was an Usurper , and by his murthering of his lawfull Prince Constans , ( the son of Constantius 2. ) he gat the Crowne , and the peoples inveterate hatred ; insomuch that he was forced to send for Saxons out of Germany to ayd him against his owne subjects ; which Saxons not onely ayded , but invaded the whole Land , and Vortiger was deposed , and afterwards hee and his Queene burnt to death , by firing of the house where they lodged . 89 Vortimer the son of Vortiger ; raignd 11. yeers ; he was victorious against the Saxons , but was poysoned by his wife . 90 Aurelius Ambrose raigned 32. yeers ; a good King , yet was poysoned . 91 Uter Pendragon , ( which in Welsh is a Dragons head ) he cornuted a Duke of Cornewall , by corrupting the Dutchesse Igrene , on whom he begot Englands & the Christian Worlds Worthy ( Arthur ; ●●er was poisoned by the Saxons , after he had raigned 18. yeers . 92 Arthur raigned 16. yeers : hee was King of England , Denmark and Norway . He beat the Infidels and misbeleeving ●aracens in 12. great Battels : he instituted the Order of Knights of the Round Table at Winchester . He had a kinsman named Mordred , who ( in Arthurs absence ) usurped the Crowne ; but Arthur fought with the Rebels , slew Mordred their Leader , and in the fight lost his owne life , and won the name and fame to bee one of the 9. Worthies ; he was buried at Glastenbury . An. Dom. 541. 93 Constantine , ( some have written him the 4. of of that name ) raigned 3. yeers , was kild by his successor . 94 Aurelius Conanus raigned 33. yeers : Writers differ much in writing of this King , and the variation of times that were then : for this Land was divided by the Saxons into 7. Kingdomes , and in the time of 500. and od yeers following , they had to each Kingdome these Kings under named ; and those Lands , Shires , and Counties heerunto annexed . 1. Kent , the first Kingdome of the 7. Divisions , had to its first King Hengist , 2. Esk , 3. Octa , 4. Ymerick , 5. E●helbert , a good Christian King , he built St. Pauls London , and St. Peters at Westminster , 6. Eabald , 7. Ercombert , 8. Egbert , 9. Lother , 10. Edrick , 11. Wi●hed , 12. Edbert , 13. Edelbert , 14. Alick , 15. Ethilbert , 16. Cuthred , 17. Baldred : These 17. Kings raigned in Kent 372. yeers . 2. The South-Saxons Kingdome was onely Sussex and Surry : it continued under 5. Kings 113. yeers : and though Histories doe not mention their deaths , it seemes they died naturally , because so few Kings raigned so long in such cut-throat times as those were . 3. The third Kingdome was the tumultuous , it endured 561. yeers : it had 17. Kings , and contained the Counties of Cornewall , Devonshire , Somersetshire , Wiltshire , Hampshire , and Berkshire . 4. The East-Saxons , they raigned only over Essex and Middlesex ; they continued under 14. Kings 281. yeeres . 5. Northumberland had 23. Kings : it consisted of 6. Shires and Counties ; namely , Yorkeshire , Durham , Lancashire , Westmerland , Cumberland , and Northumberland . It was divided into 2. Kingdomes ; it lasted 379. yeers . 6. The East Angles bounds , were Suffolke , Northfolke , Cambridgeshire , and the Isle of Ely : under 15. Kings it continued 353. yeers . 7. The seventh , last , and greatest , was the Kingdome of the Mercians , it had 20. Kings : it continued 497. yeeres : it contayned 17. Counties ; Northampton , Leicester , Darby , Lincoln , Huntingdon , Nottingham , Rutland , Cheshire , Staffordshire , Oxfordshire , Worcestershire , Glocestershire , Shropshire , Bedfordshire , Warwickshire , Hartfordshire , & Buckinghamshire : All this while I finde that the Welchmen held their owne ; for there is no mention that any of those wrangling petty Kings had possession of so much as one Village in Wales . 95 Vortiporus raigned 4. yeeres , an incestuous Prince , with his Wives Daughter . 96 Malgo raigned 5. yeers ; hee murthered his Wife , and lived incestuously with his brothers Daughter . 4. Learned men were sent from Rome hither , to convert the Idolatrous Heathen Saxons , from Paganisme to Christianity : their names were Augustine , Melltius , John and Justus . 97 Careticus raigned 3. yeers , and being oppressed with the Saxons , he fled for saie●y into Wales , where he died . 98 Cadwane raigned 22. yeers , he tamed the Saxons of Northumberland . 99 Cadwallin raigned 48. yeers , a brave victorious Prince : hee was buried in London at St. Martins Ludgate . 100 Cadwallader raigned 3. yeers , a valiant and vertuous King : he was the last King of this Land called Britaine till his time , for then it was , and not till then , named Anglia , and the men English men . Cadwallader went to Rome , and died there . 101 Athelstane was a valiant noble Prince : hee raigned 15. yeers , he brought this Land to be but one Kingdome againe , after it had beene divided into 7. neere 600. yeeres : he was Crowned at Kingstone , and buried at Malmsbury , Anno Dom. 940. 102 Edmund raigned 5. yeers : he was son to Athelslane , slaine , and buried at Glastenbury . 103 Eldred raigned 9. yeers : the Da●es were entred heer and opprest the people , and banished him : he was buried at Winchester . 104 Edwin raigned 5. yeeres , was crowned at Kingstone ; he was deposed for being an incestuous ravisher of his own kinswoman , & murdring hir husband . 105 Edgar raigned 16. yeers , he was brother to Edwin , ( by birth , but not by nature ) Edgar was crowned at Bathe : he was a vigilant , a valiant , and a pious Prince , he had a navie of 3000. ships ( as some have written ) to scowre the Seas from Enemies and Pirats , hee built , and repayred of Churches and Religious Houses , the number of 47. He took 8. petty Kings of Wales prisoners , and they Rowed him in his Barge on the River Dee , to his Parliament at Chester : buried at Glastenbury . 106 Edward raigned 3. yeeres , crownd at Kingstone , murdered by his mother in law , and his unnaturall brother Etheldred , buried at Shaftsbury . 107 Etheldred raigned 38. yeers , he caused all the Danes to be slaine , or expeld out of England , he was buried in St. Pauls London . 108 Edmond ( sirnamed Ironside ) raigned 2. yeers , Canutus King of Denmarke came with a mighty power of Danes , to revenge their Nations being banished & kild in the time of K. Etheldred , but Edmond and Canutus cōbated singly , with condition that the Surving Victor should have all the Kingdom : The Royall Combatants fought gallantly , till through many wounds , & much blou● lost , they fell both downe in each others armes , and embraced : Then they agreed , that the Kingdome should be divided into halfes between them , and the longest liver take all ; which agreement they lovingly kept till a Traytor named Edricus , murdered K. Edmond ; for the which the Danish K. Canutus , put Edricus to death with most grievous exquisite torments . 109 Canutus raigned 20. yeers , buried at Winchester , An. Dom. 1038. 110 Harold the first raigned 3. yeers . 111 Hardicanutus raigned 3. yeers : This King was given so much to excessive drinking , that hee dranke himselfe to death at Lambeth : in joyfull memory wherof the merry Hock Mondaies were kept ye●rly , with dancing , and friendly meeting of neighbours , which some ( that have beene mistakingly thought wise ) have judged to be Popery . 112 Edward , called the Confessor , raigned 23. yeers ; he freed this Land from Danish slavery , having no heire , gave his Kingdome by Will , to his Kinsman William Duke of 113 Normandy , but Harold● crownd himselfe King , and in the ninth month of his raign , Duke William came , kild , and unkingd King Harold . Thus ended the Raignes of the Britaines , Romanes , Saxons and Da●s in this Land , from the yeer of the Wo●lds Cre●●ion 2858. before the birth of Christ 1108. yeers , which was 1150. yeeres : then ( by Deed of Gift , some write by Conquest ) William the first came hither , after a bloudy battell , neere Hastings in Sussex , with the slaughter of 70000. men on both sides , the Norman Duke was crowned an English King on Christmasse day following : he had a troublous raigne 21. yeers . 115 William 2 ( sirnamed R●fus ) raigned 13. yeers , hee was slaine in Newforrest in stead of a Deere , as he was hunting , buried at Winchester . 116 Henry the first raigned 35. yeeres , in much vexation , he was buried at Redding . 117 Stephen raigned 19. yeeres , in continuall trouble ; buried at Feversham . 118 Henry 2. raigned 34. yeers , in much unquietnesse . One of his sonnes named Jeffrey was troden to death in a throng at Paris : also his son Henry he caused to be crownd King in his own life time , which afterward vext him much : and ( to loade him with more afflictions ) his wife , with his sonnes Richard and John , raysed Armes against him ; he died in France , buried at Fonteverard , 1189. 119 Richard the first , called Cor de Lion , raigned 9. yeers , slaine . 120 John raigned 17. yeers , some have written that he was poysoned by a Monke , others write , he surfeited with eating Peaches . 121 Henry 3. raigned 56. yeers , and after a long , tedious , and troublesome life , had the miraculous fortune to die in his bed . 122 Edward the first raigned 35. yeeres . 123 Edward 2. raigned 19. yeers , murdered at Barklay Castle . 124 Edward 3. raigned 50. yeers , was buried at Sheen● , 1378. 125 Richard 2. raigned 22. yeers , murdered at Pomfret Castle . 126 Henry 4. raigned 14. yeers , buried at Canterbury . 127 Henry 5. raigned 9. yeers , buried at Westminster , 1422. 128 Henry 6. raigned 37. yeeres , murthered in the Tower . 129 Edward 4. raignd 22. yeers , buried at Winsor 130 Edward 5. was never Crowned , raigned o● murdered . 131 Richard 3. raigned not 3. yeers , slaine . 132 Henry 7. raigned 23. yeers , buried at Westminster , 1509. 133 Henry 8. raignd 37. yeers , buried at Winsor . 134 Edward 6. raigned 7. yeers , buried at Westminster . 135 Mary raigned 5. yeers , buried at Westminst. 136 Elizabeth raigned gloriously 44. yeeres . 137 James raigned 22. yeers , a learned man , a Poet , a Poets friend , and a peaceable King , buried at Westminster . 138 Charles raigned 24. yeers , Beheaded . Scotland began to bee a Kingdome 339. yeeres before the comming of our Savior : it hath been neere 2000. yeers under 108. Kings . Anno Mundi 1641. Years before Christ 330. 1 FErgus raigned 25. yeeres , he was a gallant spirited man , and was drowned by storm & shipwrack , neer Carigfergus in Ireland . 2 Fe●harius raigned 15. yeers , murthered . 3 Mainus raigned 29. yeers , he died in peace . 4 Do●nadilla raigned 28. yeeres , lived and died peaceably . 5 N●●hatus raigned 20. yeeres , a wicked man ; he was killed . 6 Reutherus raigned 26. yeeres , a good King . 7 Reutha raigned 14. yeers , hee voluntarily left the Crowne , and lived private . 8 Thereu● raigned 12. yeeres , was banished by his subjects , died at Yorke . 9 J●●●●a raigned 24. yeers , in peace . 10 ●●●●●●anus raigned 3● . yeers . 11 Du●●u● raigned 9. yeers , a cruell tyrant ; he was slaine . 12 Evenus raigned 19. yeers , a just King . 13 Gillus raigned 2. yeers , he was bastard to Evenus , was cruell , was slaine . 14 Evenus 2. raigned peaceably 17. yeers . 15 Ederus raigned 48. yeers , a good King . 16 Evenus 3. raigned 7. yeeres , a wicked man , he died in prison . 17 Metellanus raigned 39. yeers , a good King . 18 Caractacus raigned 20. yeers , about this time our Saviour was borne . 19 Corbredus raigned 18. yeers , a good King . 20 Dardanus raigned 4. yeers , he was by his own subjects beheaded . 21 Corbredus 2. raigned 35. yeers , a good King . 22 Lugtharus raigned 3. yeers , he loved bloudshed and lechery , and was murdred . 23 Mogallas raigned 36. yeers , a good man at first , but turnd bad , and was murdred . 24 Conarus raigned 14. yeers , a tyrant , was deposed , died in prison . 25 Ethodius the first , raigned 33. yeers , murdered by an Irish Harper . 26 Satraell raigned 4. yeeres , by his owne servants hee was murdred . 27 Donald the first , and first Christian King of Scotland , in Anno 199. he raigned 18. yeers . 28 Ethodius the second , raigned 16. yeers , by his owne Guard he was murdred . 29 A●hrico raigned 12. yeeres , a wicked King ; for his bad life his Noble men did rise against him so furiously , that to escape them he kild himselfe . 30 N●●●alocus raigned 11. yeeres , a tyrant , and was murdred , and cast into a Privy . 31 Findocus raigned 11. yeeres , was murdered by counterfet Huntsmen . 32 Donald 2. raignd one yeer , he was slaine . 33 Donald 3. raigned 12. yeers , he was a tyrant , and slame . 34 Crathil●●hus raigned 24. yeeres , he delighted in goodnes , he advanced Christian Religion , he lived peaceably , and died in peace , Anno 277. 35 Fincormachus raigned 47. yeeres , hee was pious and couragious , died in peace . 36 R●machus raigned 3. yeeres , hee was a cruell tyrant , beheaded . 37 A●gusianus raigned 3. yeeres , a good King , and slaine in ●ighting with the Picts . 38 E●●h●macus raigned 3. yeeres , murdered by treason of an Harp●r . 39 Eugenius the first raigned 3. yeers , slaine by the Picts and Roman● , in battell ; and all the Scotch people were forced to forsake their Country 44. yeeres . 40 Vergus 2. raigned 16. yeers , he recovered his Country valiantly fighting with Romanes and Picts , yet at last was slaine . 41 Eugenius 2. raigned 32. yeers , he was a good King , and died peaceably . 42 Dongardus raigned 5. yeers , a just couragious Prince . 43 Constantine the first raigned 22. yeeres , murthered by one of his Lords , whose daughter he had ravished . 44 Congalus the first , raigned 22 yeers . 45 Goranus raigned 34. yeeres , a well governing Prince . 46 Eugenius 3. raignd 23. yeeres , a good King . 47 Congallus 2. raigned 11. yeeres . 48 Kinnatillus raigned one yeer almost . 49 Aidanus raigned 35. yeeres . 50 Kenelihus the first , raigned one yeer . 51 Eugenius 4. raigned 16. yeeres . These 8. wèere good and just Kings , and died naturall deaths : and among all the Chronicles of Scotland , so many Kings successively had not the like fortune . 52 Ferquard the first , raignd 12. yeer , a wicked man , he was cast in prison by his Nobles , where he kild himselfe . 53 Donald 4 raigned 14 yeers , a good King , yet by misfortune drownd in the River Tay , as he was fishing for his Recreation . 54 Ferquard 2 raigned 18 yeers , a bad man , an● a worse king : he was killed by the biti● of a Wolfe , as he hunted . 55 Malduin raigned 20 yeers , his wife was je●lous , and strangled him , for which sh●e w● burnt . 56 Eugenius 5 raigned 4 yeeres , slaine . 57 Eugenius 6 raignd 10 yeeres , a good King● 58 Ambirkelethus raigned little more then ● yeere , he was a vicious Prince , and be● bad was badly used , murdred , Anno 6●● 59 Eugenius 7 raignd 17 yeers , a good King , ●● died in peace . 60 Mordacus raigned 16 yeeres . 61 Etsinus raigned 31 yeers , both good Prince and died peaceably . 62 Eugenius 8 raigned 3 yeers , he was good● first , but hee changing his maners , his Nobles chāged their loyalties , & murdred hi● 63 Fergus 3 raigned 3 yeers , as chast as a Go● was poysoned by his wife . 64 Salvathius raigned 20 yeers , a discreet Kin● 65 Achaius raigned 32 yeers , hee was a goo● King , Charles the Great being then Emperour and King of France , this Scottish King made a League with France , which League was never broken or crackt , although it be almost 900 yeeres old . 66 Congallus raigned 5 yeers . 67 Dongallus raigned 7 yeares , was drowned in the River of Spey . 68 Alpinus raigned 3 yeeres , beheaded by the Scots . 69 Kenneth 2 raigned 20 yeers , for his valour and other Princely vertues , he attained the sirname of Great , hee quite overcame and slew all the Nation of the Picts , and left his Kingdome , ( as he died ) in peace . 70 Donald 5 raigned 5 yeers , a bad life founda bad death , for he kild himselfe . 71 Constantine 2 raigned 16 yeers , slaine , as he fought valiantly with the Danes . 72 Ethus raigned 2 yeers , a wicked Prince , hee died in prison . 73 Gregorius ( who by his prowesse wan the name of Magnus ) raigned 18 yeers . 74 Donald 6 raigned 11 yeers , a good King . 75 Constantine 3. raigned 40 yeers , he was a valiant man , but hee left his Crowne for a Cowle , and died a Religious Monke . 76 Malc●lme the first , raigned 9 yeers , a good King , yet murthered . 77 Indulfus raignd 9 yeers , a couragious Prince , slaine by Danes . 78 Dussus raigned 5 yeeres , was murthered , although a good King . 79 Cudenus raigned 4 yeeres , a vicious Princ● murthered . 80 Kenneth 3. raigned 24 yeeres , a tyrant , h● was murdred . 81 Constantine 4 raigned 2 yeers , an usurper , ●● was slaine . 82 Grimus raigned 8. yeers , a lewd Prince , ● was slaine . 83 Macolme 2. raigned 30. yeers , he was a v●tuous Prince , yet was murthered by ● chiefest Courtiers , who flying away to g● over a frozen River called Farfar , the l●● brake , and the murtherers were drown●● 84 Duncan the first raigned 6. yeeres , a goo● King , murthered . 85 Mackbeth raigned 17. yeers , a cruell tyrant killd . 86 Macolme 3. raignd 36. yeers , a good King , slain● 87 Donald 7. raigned not a yeere , expulst as a● Usurper . 88 Duncan 2. raignd one yeer , an usurper , slaine . 89 Donald 8. raigned 3. yeeres , he was taken by Egar , had his eyes put out , and died in prison lamentably . 90 Edgar raigned 9. yeeres , a good King . 91 Alexander the first , raigned 17 yeers , he was a valiant good Prince , hee was called Alexander the fierce . 92 David the first , raigned 29. yeeres , a worthy King , hee built 11. stately Religious Houses , died in peace at Carlisle , buried at Dumfermling . 93 Macolme 4. raigned 12. yeeres , a maiden unmarried King . 94 William raigned 49. yeers , for his courage sirnamed the Lion . 95 Alexander 2. raigned 35. yeers , a good King . 96 Alexander 3. raigned 17. yeers , died of a fall from a Horse . 97 John Baliol raigned 4. yeeres , Edw. 1. King of England deposed him . 98 Robert Bruce raigned 24. yeeres , a wise , valiant Prince . 99 David 2. raigned 40. yeeres , a good King , was a prisoner 12. yeers in England , 1310. At this time there was scuffling for the Crown , Robert Baliol had the possession , and David the second expeld him , their Raignes are uncertainely written . 100 Robert 2. was the first King of the name of Stuarts 1371. hee was a good King , raigned 19. yeeres . 101 Robert 3. raigned 16. yeeres , a good King , whose life was full of affliction , hiSonne Prince David was famished to death by rebells in Scotland , and his son James was 1● yeeres prisoner in England . 102 James the first , raigned 13. yeers , after hi● 18. yeers imprisoned in England , hee w● slaine by traytors . 103 James 2. raigned 24. yeeres , slaine . 104 James 3. raigned 29. yeeres , slaine at Ban● nockburne field . 105 James 4. raigned 25. yeeres , slaine at ●lod●don field . 106 James 5. raigned 29. yeeres , a good King . 107 Mary daughter to James 5. her raigne wa● sull of trouble , shee was beheaded at Fo●●ringham Castle , after 18. yeeres thra● dome . 108 James 6. raigned 36. yeeres in Scotland , ● most Learned peaceable King . England had 33 Kings before Scotland had any● the number of our Kings were 138 , whereof 2 ; did not die naturall deaths ; for 7 were slain , 6 were murdered , 4 were poysoned , one was burnt , 2 fled the Land , one was beheaded , one dyed with drinking , one was banished , and one● deposed . The Kings of Scotland were in number 108. whereof 21 were slaine , 19 murdred , 3 killed themselves , 4 died in prison , 4 beheaded , 3 drowned , 1 banish'd , and 3 deposed . Thus of all the Scottish Kings , onely 50 dyed naturally , and 58 by casualties . By this short relation may bee perceived that the top of Honour is slippery , and most unsure , where is not to be expected any sure footing , or endurance of standing . For the King of Kings , being the Great and only Disposer of Kings and Kingdomes , hath in his just indignation ( for the peoples transgressions ) turnd and overturnd Monarchies , Principalities , States and Common-wealths . The Assyrian Monarchy began with confusion , and mouldred away to the Persian . The Persian glory was swallowed in the ravenous Gulph of a Grecian Conquest . The Grecian ( like a violent Blaze ) was no sooner in but out , was graspt into the hands of the triumphant Caesars . The Roman Greatnesse overthrew it selfe , with its owne weight ; insomuch that whereas it formerly had all , it hath almost lost all . Our England hath had his share in changings and alterations : first , by the Britaines ; secondly , by the Romans ; thirdly , by the Saxons ; fourthly , by the Danes ; fifthly , by the Normans ; and now lastly , ( by the permission of God ) by our selves . There have beene Commonwealths translated into Kingdomes , as Israel and Judah , and Kingdomes turnd into Commonwealths ; Italy is now divided into more then one , nam●ly Venice , Genoa , Luca , Pisa ; Also the Sw●zers , or Helvetians , are a free State . So are● greatest part of the Netherlands . And since it● the Almighties unresistable will to change the Nations Rule and Government , from a 5. or●● times changed Monarchy , into a Republiqu● I will not repine against divine providence , b● as I was a faithfull servant and subject 45. y● to two Kings , ( who were good Masters to m● so now I must obey the present Government , ●● else I must not expect that I should live und● it , or be protected by it . FINIS . 
A64191	----	Oxford besiedged surprised, taken, and pittifully entred on Munday the second of Iune last, 1645. by the valiant forces of the London and Westminster Parliament. Written, by a trusty wellwisher of theirs, who sted-fastly hopes, and heartily prayes, they may have the like prosperous successe in all their future undertakings. The writers name and surname begins with the 9th letter of the Greeke alphabet, io-ta. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64191 of text R222419 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T494). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 16 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64191 Wing T494 ESTC R222419 99833597 99833597 38075 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64191) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 38075) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 2179:4) Oxford besiedged surprised, taken, and pittifully entred on Munday the second of Iune last, 1645. by the valiant forces of the London and Westminster Parliament. Written, by a trusty wellwisher of theirs, who sted-fastly hopes, and heartily prayes, they may have the like prosperous successe in all their future undertakings. The writers name and surname begins with the 9th letter of the Greeke alphabet, io-ta. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [1], 7 p. by L. Lichfield], [Oxford : Printed in the last year of the Parliament's raigne, 1645. "A trusty wellwisher" = John Taylor. Place of publication and printer from Wing. A humorous account of a pretended capture of Oxford on June 2, the same day the Royalists made a successful sortie at Headington Hill. Some print show-through. Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library. eng University of Oxford -- Humor -- Early works to 1800. England and Wales. -- Parliament -- Humor -- Early works to 1800. Royalists -- Humor -- Early works to 1800. Peace -- Controversial literature -- Humor -- Early works to 1800. Great Britain -- History -- Civil War, 1642-1649 -- Humor -- Early works to 1800. A64191 R222419 (Wing T494). civilwar no Oxford besiedged, surprised, taken, and pittifully entred on Munday the second of Iune last, 1645. by the valiant forces of the London and W Taylor, John 1645 2913 5 0 0 0 0 0 17 C The rate of 17 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-08 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion OXFORD BESIEDGED , Surprised , Taken , and Pittifully Entred on Munday the second of Iune last , 1645. by the Valiant Forces of the London and Westminster Parliament . WRITTEN , By a Trusty wellwisher of theirs , who stedfastly hopes , and heartily prayes , they may have the like prosperous successe in all their future undertakings . The Writers name and Surname begins with the 9th letter of the Greeke Alphabet , Io-Ta . Printed in the last year of the Parliament's Raigne . 1645. OXFORD BESIEDGED , Surprized , Taken , and Pittifully Entred , on Munday the second of Iune last , 1645. by the Valiant Forces of the London and Westminster Parliament . LOndon and Westminster , ( though neither of you are my Native or Naturall Mother , yet ) I was borne in Glocester , a City that hath stood to it in our Loyall and obedient Warres against the King , not much inferiour for Parliamentall obedience or Publique Faith and Confidence to you , as hath been obstinately manifested . But leaving Glocester , with her Massy zeale and valour , I returne my loving Remembrance to London , who hath been , and is the inexhaustible Magazine for Men , Mony , and Maintenance , for the supportation of those durable , famous and lasting Warres against the King , ( which the Cavaliering and Malignant Party calls Rebellion ) and which we have causes to call , entitle , nominate , and acknowledge to be the Holy Cause . And as our Armies have with unexpected successe , been Horrible , Terrible , Dreadfull , Fearefull , Victorious , and Invincible , and have forraged through England , Wales , Scotland , Ireland , Coventry , and Canterbury , yet that stiffeneck'd Generation and People of Oxford , have ( till now ) stood out in Rebellious opposition against us ; for that Academy and City , have ever since these distracted and disturbant times , been the Treasury of Refractory obstinacy , and the Store-house of our Mischiefes ; whom to suppresse and bring into order and conformity , our Almighty Parliament hath sought by all favourable meanes , and by most perswasive Exhortations from the Presse and Pulpits , there hath been nothing by us neglected , that might reforme them . But finding their obduracy immoveable , their inveteracy implacable , and their reducancy impossible ; we ( out of a Christian care of the future prosperity of that Renowned well-spring and Fountaine of Learning ) much against our pious Inclinations , were inforced to surround it with our Potent and unresistible Forces of hostility , twice in two severall yeares . In two monthes of May , we have given them two gentle and friendly Visitations ( viz. 1644 , and 1645. ) and we alwaies used the most submissive way of Summoning His Majesty and that stubborne City to our obedience . What a faire warning we gave them the first yeare , is not unknowne , and how fairly we came of and on , we have cause to remember , for two great Generalls and Armies did onely face them , as an Instruction for them to avoyd their further desolation and calamity . But seeing that gentle and mollifying Cataplasmes and Pultisses would not serve to soften the Corrodency of their Apostumated Inveteracy , we have now ( about the latter end of this last May ) in the Whitsun week , vouchsafed to lance her Malignant maladies , and by incision and occission , to let out her malevolent and contagious Corruptions . To which end and purpose , our ( potent , powerfull , perpetuall and pittifull ) Parliament , begirt and swathed that contumatious City with a strong Swaddle band of Warre , with foure severall Armies , which being conjoyned into one , with a Quadrapliciticall Vnity , under the conduction of such a Messe ( or Murnivall ) of Martiall Commanders , that the like ( or braver ) Heroes , never issued from the Loynes of Mars & Belona , amongst whom the most Excellent , Expert , Exact , and Exquisite Souldier , Sir Thomasius Fairfax , was Commander in chiefe , being the admired Agamemnon of our Host , and the only chosen , pick'd , or cul●'d man amongst men most worthy to be a Generall Generalissimo . Secondly , the Couragious and Treshault Treshnoble Cromwell , shew'd himselfe like a blazing fiery Commet , full of combustible Valour , and Subitory Expedition . Thirdly , that Impe of Prowesse , the Magazine and Arcenall of Armes and Military discipline , the never daunted and dreadfull Skippon , appear'd like the Magnanimous Achilles , with his most unmatchable multitude of Mirmidons . Fourthly and lastly , ( but neither last or least in worth ) was the Illustrious Bold Browne , in whose Braine , the Art of Armes is Pyled , and in whose Breast , Honour is Billited , he most Terribly , Fearfully , drew his Trenchant Sword , wherewith he chop'd in sunder the Faggot-Bond of his fury , insomuch that his flaming Valour ( like a burning Bavin ) appear'd most Refulgently perspicuous to the besiedged Oxonians . These foure Generalls ( drawne in their particulars ) were Quarter'd in the Villages that doe Verge , Fringe , or Girdle the City , namely Kennington , South Hinkesey , West Hinkesey , Botley , Witeham , Wolvercot , Marson , Hedington , Sampford , Ifley , &c. By which meanes it was so strongly Block'd up , that the Garrisons Forces and Inhabitants began to look thin upon the matter , for they were so unprovided , and unprepared to endure a Siedge , that within five dayes we brought them to such a hard strait , that Wheat was mounted to the price of 4s . the Bushell , Butter and Cheese at 6d and 3d the pound , Milke at a penny the quart , but 9 or ten Egges a groat , Radishes a halfe penny the bunch , a Iugge of Beere 2d , Beefe and other Flesh so scarce , that none was to be had amongst them ( without credit or ready mony . ) In this extremity , we perceived they were unable to hold out long , therefore our Valiant Commanders , ( like the foure Windes ) assaulted them at their foure severall Portes , His Excellency , play'd the part of Boreas , and Blustred Impetuously at the North ; Browne with his Brave Bold Boyes Blew Boystrously like Auster at the South ; Cromwell Acted the part of Eurus with untireable Snuffing , Puffing , and Huffing at the East ; and Skippon ( like a second Scipio ) Rag'd most Tempestilentially ( like Zephyrus ) on the West . Thus on all sides , Parts and Portes was Oxford Beleaguerd , without and within every House , Lane , and Street , was full of Horror , Terror , Trembling like Hills . There you might behold a Woman quaking like a Custard before an Alderman , and in another place another shaking like an Oven ; there was carelesse security in sundry and severall shapes and noyses , some halfe , and some whole drunk , some piping and whiffing , some Riming and singing , some watching and guarding , ( not at all regarding either us or any thing that we could doe to them ) as may appeare by a mad fellow that wrote these Verses in a jeering Contempt of us and our Forces . For Browne , for Skippon , Cromwell , and for Fairfax , Wee have a well string'd Instrument at Cairfax , And that if they doe but their Worke by halves , The Parliament would Hang em up like Calves . Some of them said , that our Armies should not offend the Parliament so farre , as to doe their worke by halves , or to doe halfe the worke they were sent about ; thus continued this hotch potch , mingle mangle galleymawfrey of variable opinions and humourous expressions , for the space of seven daies and nine nights , with an afternoone or two ; Our Cannons with perpetuall Battry having disgorg'd 6789 shot , our Horse , Carbines , and our innumerable Foot environ'd them round , with groves , thickets , and woods of Pikes , our Mu●kets , Petronells , and Pistolls , breathing flames , and spitting death and destruction . Amongst and amidst these Rough Robustious salutations , and Mortall Monumentall mortuary greetings , one of our Cannons ( being ) discharged or fired at Random , from his Excellencies Quarter at Marson , flew by chance over Saint Iohns Colledge , and most strangely wheel'd about on the left hand , hard by the Crosse and weathercock on Saint Maries Steeple ; and passing in post hast to Christ-Church , it broke a corner of a window in the great Quadrangle , and from thence it mounted , and took the great Lanthorne on the top of the Hall , which never fell to ground till it drop'd into Abington market place ; just in the same Pavement whereon the Idolatrous Crosse stood , that was Piously overthrowne on the 31 of May , 1644. ( much about the month , day , and time of the yeare as the aforesaid shot fell into Christ-Church ) by the most Victorious and Vanquish'd , the Renowned and Nobly slighted , the Conquer'd Conqueror , Sir William Waller ; the aforesaid Lanthorne , being now in the tuition of the Valiant Colonell Browne , who hath it as a Reward of his Noble services , and is determined to keep it till he dyes , and afterwards it is to be hang'd up ( as a Trophey ) over his Tombe , for a Monumentall Remembrance to Posterity , of his Valour and Victories . But to returne to the Siege againe ; The Reader must understand , that our Parliament are so happy to have such Generalls and Commanders as are in their Valours , not only invincible , but invisible also . The Canoneers and Gunners had the Art to discharge many hundreds of their Ordnance , and no fire or Bullet to be seen , nor Report of any Gun heard . For of all the great numbers of shot ( before specified ) there were very few of them came to the knowledge of the Besieged ; insomuch that they were uncapable of perceiving any danger they were in . This Rare hidden Art was first invented by an Italian , whom they called Doctor Iackaneico , he was an Aegyptian witch , ( or a cunning man ) in the Raigne of Ptolomy Evergetes King of Aegypt . By the Command of Sir Tom ( his Excellency I meane ) there was an Artificiall Naturall Geometricall Bridge , made over the River Charwell , about a mile from Oxford ( North East and by Westward ) what good service that Bridge did it is impertinent , and not much materiall to speak of ; But this is certaine , that the month of May , ending on the 31 , which being Saturday , fell out luckily to be the latter end of the week , the Sunday following proved to be the first day of Iune , so that ( by consequence ) Monday was the next day after ; on which Monday morning , we had the happinesse to gaine a glorious Victory . On that day , ( that memorable , remarkable , honourable , dainty delicate day ) our Forces ascended to the top ( or altitude ) of Mount Hedinton ( vulgarly called Hedinton Hill ) but for that day , and on that Hill ( to which Hill , Pinda , Ossa , Olympus , Parnassus , Gadds Hill , Shotover , and Shuters Hill , shall hereafter strike saile ) our prosperous Parliamentonyans , inclosed , encompassed , environ'd , enwrapped , envelloped ( or what the Reader meanes to tearme it ) the whole Body , or Bodies of the Malignants , we fought Valiantly , they fell Violently , some dead , some kill'd , some slaine , some hurt , some wounded , some fled , some ran away , some escap'd , some taken Prisoners , some put into Bondage , some thrust into Thraldom , and some carried into Captivity , so that in lesse time then halfe an howre , the mutability of fickle fortune was apparent , by a suddain turne of her foure square-Round wheele , for beyond all expectation , when the Enemy was singing scurvy Songs , & jeering with intollerable abusive Language and gesture , at the Sacred Persons and Honours of those whom they have formerly sworne to obey with Allegiance and Loyalty . Then at that Time , even then , betwixt the howres of two and three in the morning , we fell upon them Pell mell , Helter skelter , where in a moment 40 or 50 fell , to seek their habitation in another world , many were sore wounded ; and having thus won the Field , we presently won Oxford , we entred without Resistants at the East , by Saint Clements , we Conquer'd Maudlin ( or Magdalen Colledge ) with a bare Summons , we march'd Triumphantly to Cairfax , ( and leaving the Gallowse on our right hand ) we with force or perforce entred and surpriz'd the Castle , we staid in the Castle three dayes , in all which time our Generalls were so Nobly pittifull , and our other Commanders , Officers , and Souldiers so mercifully mannerly , that we neither did the Towne any harme , or Plunder'd the people of anything ( except Victualls ) but whatsoever we had was freely given to us , nor did any of us so much as give the Oxford folke so much as a hard word , nor troubled them to lye in any of their Beds or foule sheets , or any linnen ; and was not this a mercifull Victory ? All this was done by lesse then 150 Parliament Souldiers , in so small or little a time , that it must ever be with Thankfulnesse remembred , and it is not to be doubted , but London and Westminster will expresse their joyfull gratitude , with Bells , Bonefires , and an holy publique Thankesgiving . To conclude , I have an humble desire ( on Request ) to all Valiant men of our Parliament Armies , which is , That they will stoutly , stiffely , and desperately stand and persevere in the Cause , you know that many of us , could never have gotten such Estates by our Trades , as we have purchased by this Trade of Warre ; it is not Loyalty and Allegiance , that will preferre a Tinker to the Estate of a Commander , it is not that beggerly Thing call'd Honesty , nor that despised fancy of Learning , will bring a man to Promotion , Conscience is a Toye , it will never make a Cobler a Preacher , or a Wood-monger a Sergeant Major Generall , or Colonell ; we are now Grammar'd in our Noble Actions , and a Peace would put very many of us back againe to our Horne-bookes ; a just and lawfull Peace would cause the King to have His Owne againe , and every man to have his Right ; a Peace would restore the Protestant Religion to it's Pristine Purity ; and then what will become of our Zealous new Directorie , for a Peace will bring in againe , the contemned Booke of Common Prayer ; and finally a Peace would make Thousands of us to surrender so much Pillage and Plunder to the Right owners , that we should be like ( Aesops Crow ) poore naked Rogues , when every Bird had his fether from us ; Let our Conquests encourage us , let our hopes spurre us forward , let our surprize of Oxford , fill our Vei●●● with Valour , and let the 24 Tinkers of Banbury , be our Presidents , who ( for joy of our Oxonian Victory ) have newly Brac'd their Kettle Drummes for the Entertainment of the Lord Say thither , which they will Seale with their Blood● . Let our Preachers Revile , let our Pamphlet writers Raile , let Mercurius Britannicus Jeere and flourish , let Booker , Ny● , and Lyly , lye on , let us Fight for wealth , and Run away for advantage , wee have a Parliament to protect us , and there 's an end . POSTCRIPT , or an old said saw of the Malignants . Wise men Labour , Good men Grieve , Knaves invent , and Fooles believe , Then helpe us Lord , and stand unto us , Or Knaves and Fooles will quite undoe us . FINIS . 
A64192	----	A pedlar and a Romish priest in a very hot discourse, full of mirth, truth, wit, folly, and plain-dealing by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64192 of text R6167 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T495). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 37 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 13 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64192 Wing T495 ESTC R6167 12798701 ocm 12798701 94030 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64192) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 94030) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 255:E168, no 10) A pedlar and a Romish priest in a very hot discourse, full of mirth, truth, wit, folly, and plain-dealing by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 22 p. s.n.] [London? : 1641. In verse. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Great Britain -- Religion -- 17th century. A64192 R6167 (Wing T495). civilwar no A pedlar and a Romish priest in a very hot discourse, full of mirth, truth, wit, folly, and plain-dealing. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John 1641 6589 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-07 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-07 Olivia Bottum Sampled and proofread 2002-07 Olivia Bottum Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-08 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A PEDLAR AND A ROMISH PRIEST In a very hot Discourse , full of Mirth , Truth , wit , Folly , and Plain-dealing . By Iohn Taylor . Printed in the yeare 1641. A Pedlar and a Romish priest in a very hot Discourse , full of Mirth , truth , Wit , Folly , and plain-dealing . A Poland Pedlar went upon a day , Vnto a Romish Priest to learne to pray ; The Priest said Pedlar get thee to the cloister And learne the Ave and the Pater Noster . Pedl . Now good sir Iohn ( quoth he ) what talk is that I heare you speak , but God in Heauen knowes what . Priest . It is that worthy holy Lattin letter Doth please the Lord wel and our lady better . Pedl . Now good Sir Iohn , I know not what they be The Lattin tongue is heathen Greeke to me . Priest . Pedlar if thou to me wilt but repaire Within one Month , I`le teach thee Lattin Prayer . And though thou understand not what thou sayst , Thou shalt speake pretty Lattin when thou prayest Pedlar To pray so sir , is onely but in saying , In words , nor sence , a prating not a praying ; Shall I that am a man of perfect age , Talke like a witlesse parret in a Cage . Priest . A parret can but prattle for her part , But towards God hath neither mind or heart . Then seeing I have head and heart to pray , Shall not my heart know what my tongue doth say For when my tongue talkes , if my heart mis-carry , How quickly I may marre your Ave Mary ? And I sit having many things to seeke , How should I speed not knowing what I speake . Priest . God understands all tongues , & knows , & he The thoughts and secrets of the heart doth see . Pedl . Then if I think one thing and speak another , I wrong my selfe , and Christ , and his blest Mother ; For when I pray they would my pack repaire , Your Ave mary is a fruitlesse prayer . Priest . The Latin prayers are but generall heads , For our Reliefes in all our wants and needs : The Latin serves us as a Liturgie , As curious Arts directs Chirurgery , And in that language Masse is said and sung , For private things pray in thy Mother tongue . Ped. Then I must have a tongue , sir Iohn , for either , 1 for the Mother and 1 for the Father . Prie . Thinkst thou the Mother doth not know such small things , Christ is her Son man , and he tells her all things . But where did that blest Virgin learne her Latin , For in her daies was neither Masse nor Martin , Nor yet one Priest that Latin then could speake , For holy words were Hebrew then or Greeke , She never was at Rome , nor kist Popes feet , How came she by the Masse faine would I weet . Priest . Pedlar , if thou beleeve the Legendary , The Masse is older farre then Christ or Mary , For all the Patriarkes both more or lesse , And great Melchisedeck himselfe said Masse . Pedl . But good sir priest , spake al these Fathers Latin And said they Masse in golden Coapes or Satin ; Could they speake Latin long e're Latin grew , ( For without Latin no Masse can be true ) And you that would inforce us to this taske , Me thinkes 't is like a may-game or a masque . Priest . Well Pedlar thou art too too curious , Thy pur-blinde Zeal 's fervent , but furious , I rather would a hundred monkes direct , Then such an ignorant of thy mad sect ; This thou must know , this cannot be deni'd , Rome govern'd all when Christ was crucifi'd . Rome , Heathen then , but afterwards converted , And grew so honest , and so holy-hearted , That now our Emperour is turn'd to a pope , Whose Holines ( as you have heard I hope , Hath made a Law that all the world must pray In Latin language to the Lord each day ; He 's Christs full Vicar , and I le boldly say , That what he doth command we must obey , He bids us pray in Latin , even so We must doe , where we understand or no , He hath full power to confound or save , And who dares then but doe as he will have . Pedl . This purpose to some purpose puts me back , And hath more points , then pinnes are in my pack , What ever power you give unto your pope , He cannot make a man an Ape , I hope , And if he be full Vicar to our Lord , Should not his words and Christs keepe one accord . Priest . Doubtles they doe , and never are contrary , In Pater noster , Creed , or Avemary . Ped. But Christs Disciples when they made their motion , Vnto their Master , how to make devotion , As I have done to you ( sir Iohn ) to day ; I pray you in what tongue bade he them pray , Christ did not one word Latin to them speake , Their talke was then all Siriack , Hebrew , Greeke , He bade all Nations pray after one manner , But bade not all take Latin for their Banner : Your Latin is but one of the Translations , Why should it then exclude all other Nations ; And on my soule , sir Iohn , if I doe say , In mine owne mother tongue when I doe pray Lord helpe me , Lord forgive me all my sinnes , Yea ( why not ) Lord supply my packe and pinnes . And every thing whereof I stand in need , ( For this depends upon our daily bread ) I hope in God that I shall speed as well , As if in Latin I my wants did tell : And since some tongues have more antiquitie Then Latin , were it not iniquitie To force all people to pray like the Pope , No good ( sir Iohn ) you 'l not say so I hope . Priest . Wel pedlar , one thing I would faine make plain , Return we to our Lady back again , And if thou hadst as much capacitie As roving wit , with great audacitie , The case is cleare , that Virgin Mary meeke , Could all and every tongue and language speake . Hast thou not heard man how the Holy Ghost , Came downe like cloven tongues , at pentecost , And fill'd the house where all the 12. were ready , And one tongue truly lighted on our Lady , And thinke not that I talke of toyes and dreames , Aske but the Reverend Jesuites of Rhemes , And what they write of this but wisely nore . Ped. In faith sir Iohn it is not worth a groat ; Will I beleeve 't thinke you because they say it ; Priest . Nay but they prov 't as no man can denay it ; Saith not the Text , that when the Lord ascended , Vnto the 12. he earnestly commanded , That from Ierusalem they should not goe , Vntill the Comforter did come , and so They all conjoyned with one joynt consent , And to an upper roome together went , Where Mary was and others whole six score , That with the 13. did daily God adore . Then ( sayes the text ) when Pentecost was come , They were together then both all and some , And all were filled with the Holy Ghost . Ped. Now good sir Priest you count without your Host , I see well that your Rhemish Jesuites tongues , Hath cloven the text even to the very lungs . That ( ALL ) for which you reckon up six score , Is here meant onely of the 12. no more ; Nor Mary is not named there as than , What need we then beleeve it , holy man , On with your spectacles sir Iohn and read , And credit this as one point of your Creed , The Holy Ghost did fall upon no more , Then he was promised unto before : Now he was onely promised to the twelve , Looke on the text , I pray , and iudge your selve ; Speake man , and be not silent , I am sorry , To see you ignorant of such a story ; For shame , let not a pedlar with his packe , Put you with all your Sophistrie to wracke . For as the Stories in themselves are divers , Flowing and falling into sundry Rivers , In divers Chapttrs so they stand divided , So that the case may clearely be decided ; For when those 6. score were at first convened , There was another mysterie then meaned ; To wit , Mathias free Election , And so Saint Peter gave direction , That all those six score then should beare record Of their proceedings then before the Lord : The choosing of a pastour was in hand , Which without Churches knowledge cannot stand , And so Mathias , ( by the power of Heaven ) By lot was tooke as one with the Eleven . Then ( saies the the Text ) all these together were , What all these were doth very plaine appeare , To be the 12. in the last verse before , And not make Leape Yeare of eleven verse more . To draw all backe to that hundred and twentie , Indeed this way should have tongues in plentie , They differ in 12. verses , the Text saies , Besides the time is different full 10. dayes , The first upon the day the Lord ascended , The other when the holy Ghost descended . Such glaZen arguments will bide no hammer , For they are but bad Logick and worse Grammer ; As for the Holy Ghost 't is verifide , His comming downe , unto no Law is tide ; Sometimes invisible , and sometimes seene , As diversly at divers times hath beene , Few needes to see his comming with their eyes , His workes are witnesses which may suffice ; And so Saint Paul this gift found privately , By Annanias hand assuredly . And so , sir Iohn , to shew you all my packe , And let you see my breast as well as backe ; I wonder yee consider not the end , Why God the Holy Ghost in Tongues did send : Know ye not women are forbidden preaching , Know ye not tongues were onely given for teaching ; Women ( at home ) have hardly leave to speake , But they take leave , and often silence breake ; Their husbands must permit their tongues to walke , And therefore , in Gods House , they may not talke : And then , sir Iohn , what worship doe you win Vnto our Lady , when you bring her in As a Companion with the whole six score , Who gat the Holy Ghost and she no more , And where the Pope hath made her Queen of heaven , You make her here like one of the Eleven , In this , her dignitie doth seeme to fall , You thrust her to the Kitchin from the Hall . And this is also one of your rare Themes , Held by your reverend Jesuites of Rhemes , That Latin came not with the Holy Ghost , VVhen as the tongues came downe at Pentecost . Now if it came not then I pray , expresse How came it by that perfect holines , That in it onely , and no other tongue , Both Masse and matins must be said and sung . Your last refuge will be unto the Pope , So knit up all together in a Rope . Pri. Wert thou at Rome , & half these words didst speak , Pedlar it were enough thy neck to break ; But here you live , and talk and prate secure , And undervalue that blest Virgin pure , Yeelding no honour , or no adoration To her , or to her dayes of celebration . ( Goe but to Spaine , and shew thy vild condition , Thou shalt be tortur'd in the Inquisition ) Her Miracles , of small worth you esteeme , Her merits at low value you misdeeme , Her sacred Reliques you condemne , dispise , And all her attributes you much misprise : Thou saist with six score I doe make her share , Your selves will her with your course wives compare , Shame and confusion doth to all belong , Who dare the best , most blest of creatures wrong . Pedl . Indeed ( sir Iohn ) you come upon me now , With some things which my faith doth disallow , I pray you to consider but a little , You give her many a title and a tittle , For which you have no warrant in the word , And yet pursue us both with fire and Sword , As Heretiques , for doing not as yee doe , Yet , what the word bids and no more that we doe ; Thinke you that anie man can be so mad , As to hold Christ his Saviour , and so bad , As to hold Mary for his Saviours Mother , And not to love her farre above all other , Above all Creatures , she was full of grace , And sure in Glory she hath supreme place And eminence , all other Soules transcending In joy and blisse , that never shall have ending . The Holy Ghost inspir'd her beyond measure , She was possest with Heaven & earths whole treasure , And grant she could speake Latin , and all Tongues , Yet Masse or Mattins to her not belongs . Of all that mortall were she was the best , And her immortall soule is now most blest . Her memorable Honour to preserve , Her dayes of celebration we observe , The Feast of her Anuntiation , Her cleare and pure Purification , The Church ( in reverence ) hath ordain'd these dayes , On which we should send up our prayers and praise , To our good God , whose mercie was so great , To leave his glorious and immortall Seate , And to the blessed Virgins wombe he came , And tooke on him our filthy sinne and shame ; And on these dayes we pray that we may be , The Virgins followers in Humilitie , That our true meeknesse , and our lowlines , May raise us to eternall blessednes ; We hold it the sure way to our salvation , To follow her in holy imitation ; Through heavenly influence her excellence , Must be admir'd with love and reverence , And those that dare compare most sawcily , Their wives or mothers with her sanctitie , Are sawcie knaves in pride and ignorance , Or Atheists , fit to lead the hang-mans dance ; We love her then , though we beleeve not in her , Nor ( by will-worship ) doe we thinke to win her ; We hold her blessed for Christs flesh conceiving , But farre more blessed for Christs faith receiving : She was his mother , so 's the Church his wife , Which was to him much dearer then his life , Now if that one could fall at oddes with th'other , He would respect his wife before his mother ; For who so to him once a wife doth take , Must father , mother , friends and kin forsake . And this is every Spouses carriage , But most in this spirituall marriage , As Maries mother of Christs humane life , She 's but the Daughter of his heavenly wife , By which meanes onely , faith doth me perswade , Of Christ blest body she 's a member made ; Whereby these glorious Titles she hath won , Maid , mother , wife , and sister to her Sonne . All this sir Iohn I doe but briefly say , To let you see you play us much foule play . Pri. Well Pedlar , tho that pack about thou beare , Th'art some apostate Monke or Frier I feare , Of Luthers love , or Calvins cursed crew , And sent abroad such businesse to brew , Disguised like the person of some Pedlar . Ped. No faith ( sir Iohn ) I am not such a medler , Nor have I mind or meanes , so high to mount , A little I can read and cast account , My wits are weake to utter Rime or Reason , I know not what you call your Keirieleison . So help me God ( sir Iohn ) I know no better , Nor in your Latin can I read a letter , For Latin is a Language admirable , And my poore friends and parents were unable , To purchase one scrap of it , for my share , And sure without it I can sell my ware , And though I have no Latin , yet I can Aske what I want of either God or man , In mine owne mother tongue , I know and see , How simple soules by you abused bee . And how your doctrine half our praiers would carry , From Christ our Saviour to the Virgin Mary , I also doe perceive how you doe frame , Strange innovations to that heavenly Dame , Ascribing her that Honour , which to none Is due , but onely unto God alone : Of which she takes small notice , nor will she For it , at any time your helper be . Priest . Read but the Legend , Pedlar , and ther view Her miracles , approve her honour due , For which the Pope in Latin doth preferre , That Masse and matins must be said to her . Read , and consider , and believe it well , Or else thou art at least half wayes in hell . Ped. Sure Hell is not within the Popes commission , Though purgatorie , and the Inquisition , Are things which he himselfe of late created , Yet of small worth , by wise men they are rated ; I answer I oft before have said I love , and reverence that blest mother maid , But I beleeve in God , and when I pray , Christ help me ( when my soule or corps doe stray ) And so what e're I either have or want , I neither pray to he or to she Saint ; And as for Tongues , I have but one , no more , And wot ye well , although I had six score , I would conforme my selfe to Pauls commanding , Pray with my tongue , pray with my understanding . Think you the twelve , when they receiv'd the tongues , Talkt , and knew not whereto their talk belongs , Yeelding a sound not knowing what they said , Idle in preaching , ideler when they pray'd , No , each of them knew well what he did say , And why not we ( sir Iohn ) as well as they , For since each man hath one tongue at command , Shall men speake tongues they do not understand ? Alas good sir , had I been train'd at Schoole , As I am but a sillie simple Foole , A hundred Questions more I might have moved , But here I cease for feare to be reproved , For these few doubts I learn'd in sundry places , Me thinkes such men as you should cleare all cases . Priest . Now Pedlar , I confesse thou putst me to it , But one thing I will tell thee if thou 'lt doe it ; If to our Prior thou wilt with me goe backe , Perhaps he will buy all that 's in thy packe , And teach thee better how to pray then any , For such a holy man there are not many , Be here to morrow Betweene six and seven , And thou wilt find thy selfe halfe waies in Heaven . Ped. Content sir Iohn , but there is one thing more , I must have your opinion in before , Suppose the holy Priour have no leisure , To talke of every purpose at our pleasure , Your Booke which is the golden Legend nam'd , ( Wherein as many lies as lines are fram'd ) And , on my conscience , I doe thinke that you , Doe know the most on 't to be most untrue ; And therefore tell me sir before you goe , Whether your selves beleeve it , yea or no . Priest . Yes verily we doe beleeve it all , And Hold it holy and authenticall . Ped. Then I le repeat a tale or two in prose , Which few wise men beleeve as I suppose . IN the 45. and 46. leafe of the aforesaid Booke , I have read , that in the Raigne of King William the Conqueror , the Danes had a purpose to warre against England ; to prevent which , the King William sent Helliseus the Abbot of Ramsey Embassadour into Denmarke , who having ended his Embassie , as hee returned homeward , he was on the Sea dangerously distrest with an impetuous and terrible Tempest , so that the Master of the Ship , and all the Martiners did yeeld themselves as lost men : In which extreamitie they all prayed devoutly to our Lady for helpe , and suddenly there appeared walking on the water a Reverend personage in the form or likenes of a Bishop , who called the Abbot Hellizeus to him , and told him that our Lady had heard their prayers , and that shee had sent him to deliver them from the storme , and that it was her pleasure to have the day of her Conception kept holy yearely for ever on the eight day of December , which the Abbot promised to do , and presently the Angel vanished away , the Tempest ceased , the Abbot arrived safely in England , and reported what he had heard , seene , and suffered ; and lastly the feast was commanded to be kept on the 8. day of December accordingly . ALso in the same Booke and leafe is related , that a Cousin german of a King of Hungary , who raigned I know not when , whose names were I know not what , did marry with a Lady ( I know not who ) at a place I know not where , did I know not why , forsake his wife I know not wherefore , to serve our Ladie I know not how ; for the story lies thus , that hee was a devout and daily invocator to the blessed Virgin , and ( being newly married ) the same day of the marriage the Bridegroom staid alone in the Church , remembring that hee had not that day done his accustomed Orisons , wherefore he sent his new Bride home , and himselfe staid in the Church to performe his devotion , where presently our Lady appeared to him , and taxed him with unkindnesse , in that hee would leave her and betake himselfe to another , but if hee would forsake his wife , and follow her in a devout life and conversation , then shee promised to give him the Kingdome of Heaven , whereupon it is said , hee presently forsooke his wife and ever after was a true servant to our Lady . What think you now ( sir Iohn ) is this good stuffe , It edifies me , much like blind man buffe ; Is 't not a shame , that you these things dare doe , To wrong poore people and our Ladie to ; You have no starting hole , nor no excuse To cover or to colour your abuse ; But by your leave , I 'le tell a tale or twaine In prose , and fall into our Verse againe . IN the 88. leafe I did reade of another nameles Lady , that dreamed she was before the shrine of our Lady on a Candlemas day , she then ( as she dreamed ) had a burning Candle in her hand , which Candle she three times commanded to offer to the Image of the Virgin , which shee not doing , the Angel strove with her for it , and brake it in the midst , at which the Lady awaked , and found halfe a Candle in her hand , which she ever after kept as a holy Relique , and with the touch of it did many Miracles , and cured a great number of diseases onely with the very touch of the said Candle . THere was a Thiefe whom they call a Knight , that had long time used to rob on the High way , by which accursed Gentle-man-like Trade , hee was grown very rich , and kept tall fellowes to attend him , who were as arrant Thieves as himself , amongst whom one that performed or served the office of his Chamberlaine was a Devill in the shape of a man . It fell out so , that they rob'd a holy man , who desired hee might speake with the chiefe or Master Thiefe , which being granted , the Holy man requests that hee might see all the servants together , whereupon they were called , then said the Holy man , Here are not all , and then they missed the Chamberlaine , and called him , who was no sooner come into the said blessed mans presence , Hee cryed out , saying , I am a Devill in this humane forme , who have followed this Knight a long time to destroy him for his bad Life , but I could never have any power over him to hurt gim , because he did daily , with great devotion , oftentimes salute the blessed Virgin Mary , with Ave Maria , leaf . 105. IN the 217. leafe there is a tale of a Monke , that was a great Lecher , who by accident was drunke and drownd in a River which he fell into , and the Devils came busily about his Carkas to carry it to Hell , but because the said Monke had used constantly to pray to our Ladie , shee then appeared her selfe and commanded the Devils to depart , and then shee gave the soule of the Monke into his dead bodie againe , and ever after he had a care to live honestly . IN the same 217. leafe there is a Relation of a Knight that had spent all his substance wastfully in riot , and being desperate in his wants , he would have sold his wife to the Devill for a great summe of monie ; but the bargaine being made , and the good Gentlewoman to be delivered to the fiend , our Ladie appeared to her , and laid her in a sleepe , taking upon her selfe the shape of the sleeping Gentlewoman , which when the Knight would have delivered , the Devill began to roare and howle , and trembling said , that the Knight had deceived him , in bringing the Mother of God to him instead of his wise ; and with that the Devill fled away , and the Knight with repentance tooke his wife againe , and in conclusion our Ladie give them wealth , so that ever after they lived together lovingly . IN the 220. leafe it is said , that as the body of the blessed Virgin was carried towards her grave or buriall , that a Jew in despightfull manner laid both his hands on the Beire , and violently would have overthrowne it , when presently his hands sundred from his armes , and clave fast to the Biere , at which the Jew roard , cryed out and repented , and Saint Peter commanded him to kisse the Beire , whereby hee was presently recovered , and had his hands restored to his armes againe . Also it is said , that the house that the blessed Virgin dwelt in at Bethelem was removed by heavenly Angels , and carried through the aire many thousand miles over Sea and Land , to the Countrie of Dalmatia , where it did remaine for a certaine time , and then it was againe removed to Laretto in Italy , where it remaines to this day , being a Holy place , much visited by Pilgrims , and ( by vertue of it ) many miracles are wrought daily . And thus the Booke you brag of , far excels The lyes of Jewes , Turkes , Moores , and Infidels ; And sure the Heathen , hearing of these lyes , The Christian Religion dispise ; He that will one day guerdon good and bad , T' whose word we must not dare abate or adde , Against those he will draw his vengefull sword , That mingle fables with his sacred Word . Pri. Thy blinded Zeale my very heart doth grieve , Thou understandst not what thou should believe , Thinkst thou so many Grave and learned men , Have liv'd and dy'd in bleare-ey'd errours den , Dost thinke all Popes , all Cardinalls , all lyers , Abbots , most zealous Monkes , most holy Fryers . Dost thinke all these for many a hundred yeare , Did not professe and know the Truth sincere ? These men maintain'd the Church in glorious state , Till Luther and curst Calvin 'gan to prate . Ped. Like as a Squirrill skips from tree to tree , Euen so ( sir Iohn ) you from the matter flee : Our talke was Latin , and our Lady first , And you to other arguments out burst . I tell you I that Virgin love and honour , Although my prayers doe not wait upon her , Nor doe I hold her Reliques of such price , To raise soules to the heavenly Paradise . You her suppos'd apparell doe adore , Haire-lace and Slippers ( which she never wore ) Her Combe , her Girdle and her Gowne of filke , Her apron and the pot that held her milke , Her cloake , her Hankerchiefe , her Hood , her Haire , To these you mumble many a Latin prayer , And therefore I defie you , and in sadnes , I hold such holines a kind of madnes ; And so , sir Iohn , we two will make an end , And each of us about his Busines wend . Yet e're we part I would fall to againe , And of the Latin speake a word or twaine , There was but one tongue at the Birth of Abel , And many at the building up of Babel , A wicked work , which God would have confounded , But when Christ came , all tongues again resounded , To build his Church , by his Apostles teaching ; Which was in praying sure as well as preaching ; For prayer is the full and true perfection Of holy service ( save your correction ) Then if our Lord to mine owne tongue be readie , What need I then with Latin move our Ladie , Or if to both my prayers must be in , I pray sir tell wth which should I begin , And to pray jointly to them both as one , Your Latin prayers then are quickly gone . For Pater noster never will accord With her , nor Ave Mary with our Lord . If I have him , what need I seek another , Or will he nothing doe without his Mother , And this ( sir Priest ) was much in Question , Disputed long , with deep disgestion , Whether the Ave Mary should be said To God , or to our Lady when they pray'd , With which Saint Andrewes University , Was puzled with a strange diversity , And sate so long they cooled all their Kale , At last the Master Cooke heard of the tale , And like a mad man ran among the Clergy , Crying with many a Domine me asperge , To give the Pater noster to the Father , And Avies to our Lady altogether , And every man may thinke ( that wise or grave is ) She 's more then satisfied with Creeds and Aves . At which the Clergie ( fearing more confusion ) Were all contented with the Cookes conclusion . Priest . Pedlar , this tale , is of thee coyned new ; Ped. Sir Iohn I le leese my packe if 't be not true ; Againe , all learned Monkes and Fryers have read , How Christ himselfe taught us of his owne head , That every soule that is with sinne opprest , Should come to him , and he would give them rest : Come all to me ( said he ) not to another , Come all to me ( said he ) not to my Mother . And If I doe as our good Lord commanded , I know our Lady will no wayes withstand it : And so if I should say my prayers in Lattin , Unto the Lord at Even-song or at Matin , And never understand what I were saying , Thinke you the Lord would take it for true praying , No sure , he will not , for I truly know , My tongue and heart must both together goe , And hereupon I 'le tell you what befell , To learned Clearkes , that Latin well could spell , With whom by chance I lodged at an Inne , Whereas an old wife on her wheele did spin , And towards evening she fell to and pray'd , But neither they or I knew what she said , One said she canted , others said she mumbled , And still strange language from her lips she fumbled , Round run her wheele , and round her tongue did run , She mumbled and she slaver'd , and she spun ; What think you now sir Iohn of this old Hussie , Where was her heart when as she was so busie . At last ( said one ) Dame wot you what you say , No , not ( quoth she ) but well I wot I pray ; You pray ( quoth he ) and know not what I grant , Alas how can you be so ignorant . The woman , musing little at the motion , Said , ignorance is Mother of Devotion . If Ignorance be mother then ( said he ) Sure darknesse must her onely daughter be ; Pray'd you , ( quoth I ) when al the time you span , What matters that , quoth she God's a good man , And knowes what I speak in the Latin tongue , Either at Matins or at Even-song . Alas , good sir , I was not this wife abus'd , Whose soule and sences all were so confus'd , You know these unknown tongues can profit no man , And one tongue is enough for any woman ; But when we pray in true sinceritie , As God commands in spirit and veritie , The heart sends up the tongue as Messenger Unto the Lord , a pleasant passenger . Priest . But Pedlar , here 's a prettie little Booke , Wherein if thou wilt spare the time to looke , Set forth by a good Catholicke Divine , Which out of doubt will settle thy ingine With it , thy conscience will be better fram'd , The Gag of the new Gospel it is nam'd : He clearely proves by Zacharies example , When he did sacrifice vvithin the Temple , And all the people prayd and stood vvithout , They knevv not then what tongue he spake no doubt ; Ergo the Masse may be both said and sung , In other language then our mother Tongue . Ped. Sir Iohn I see your holy Catholicke , Upon the Text hath put a pretty tricke , Did Zachary speake in a Latin stile , When all the people staid without the while , He was a Jew sure , and knew Hebrew well , And spake no Latin for ought you can tell ; For if the people heard not what he said , Could they or you know in what tongue he pray'd Since understanding commeth by the eare , He cannot understand that doth not heare . Prove it that Zachary spake Latin , then I 'le say all Monkes and Fryers are honest men . Because a learned Priest may pray in Latin , And mumble o're his Even-song , Masse , and Matin , Ergo a Pedlar to the Lord may pray , And know no sillable that he doth say , So when you put me to your Pater noster , I aske an Egge when I would have an Oister . And seeing thus our Faiths doe disagree , That neither I with you , nor you with mee Can be united , with one minde and heart , I thinke it best we take our leaves and part . I 'le pray that God , in Grace and mercy , would Bring all his straying Flock into his Fold . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A64192e-90 Act. 1. the 1. & 2. chap. Act. 9. 
A64193	----	A plea for prerogative, or, Give Cæsar his due being the wheele of fortune turn'd round, or, the world turned topsie-turvie : wherein is described the true subjects loyalty to maintain His Majesties prerogative and priviledges of Parliament / by Thorny Aylo, alias, John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1642 Approx. 11 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A64193 Wing T496 ESTC R1993 12689039 ocm 12689039 65815 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64193) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 65815) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 252:E154, no 22) A plea for prerogative, or, Give Cæsar his due being the wheele of fortune turn'd round, or, the world turned topsie-turvie : wherein is described the true subjects loyalty to maintain His Majesties prerogative and priviledges of Parliament / by Thorny Aylo, alias, John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 6 p. Printed for T. Bankes, London : 1642. In verse. Illustrated t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). The general aim of EEBO-TCP is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic English-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in EEBO. EEBO-TCP aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the Text Encoding Initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). The EEBO-TCP project was divided into two phases. The 25,363 texts created during Phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 January 2015. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Prerogative, Royal -- England. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-08 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A Plea for PREROGATIVE : OR , Give Caesar his due . Being the Wheele of Fortune turn'd round : Or , The World turned topsie-turvie . Wherein is described the true Subjects loyalty to maintain his Majesties Prerogative and priviledges of Parliament . By Thorny Ayl● : alias , Iohn Tayler . Malice , Disloyalty , War and Sects aspire , Religion , Peace , Obedience are i th mire . MALLICE . PEACE.RELIGION.OBEDIENCE.LOVE.WAR.SECTS.DISLOYATY . Religion , Peace , Obedience , Love , no doubt , Though they be l●t , the Wheele will turne about . London , printed for T. Bankes . 1642. A Plea for PREROGATIVE : OR , Give Caesar his due . THE Divel 's horne-mad , Religion here should florish , Or England constantly the Truth should nourish : And He ( contriving with the Romish Sect ) They soon a hellish stratagem project , That with a strange blast of a Powder-blow , Into the Ayre the Parliament to throw , And with a whirle-winde terrour to appall Gods Word profest , the Court , the State and all Records , Lawes , Statutes , Grants , Decrees and Charters , Men , women , children ( piece-meale torne in quarters ; ) Magnifique Buildings , pompous Monuments ; Illustrious guildings , sumptuous ornaments ; King , Prince , Peeres , Commons , with one puffe should caper , And ( in a moment ) turn'd to ayre and vapour . The Divell and Rome are all starke mad at this , That they , their great desired aime should misse , Devis'd more mischiefes from th' infernall pit , To make us this deliverance to forget , And be ingratefull to that power above , Who this great danger from us did remove , For Sathan knowes , that base ingratitude Doth all , and every damned vice include ; And therefore 't is the totall of transgressions To be unthankfull for Gods gracious blessings : There 's nothing else drawes down th' Almighties hate , It hath dismembred wretched Englands state ; Pride , avarice , lust , hath broke our happy peace , And daily do our sins , and shames increase . He 's a wise man ( that without danger ) can Serve God his King , and be an honest man ; For ( in these dayes ) to speak truth and do right , Is paid with scandall , danger and despight . Thus vice is entred , vertue is thrust out , And Fortunes Wheele is madly turn'd about ; Peace , Love , Religion and Obedience Are vertues of exceeding excellence ; Yet as the Picture in the Wheele doth show , They are turn'd downwards in the spokes below , Whilst Malice , War , Sects and Disloyalty Are in the upper spokes , exalted high , And true Obedience neuer did refuse , To give to God and Caesar both their dues ; Though she be humble , free from arrogance , Yet her humility doth her advance : And though she be trod downe , I make no doubt But Fortunes Wheel will shortly turn about : Disloyalty doth proudly over-top her , And makes a glistning guilded shew of copper , Full of corruption , basenesse and deceit , Deluding and most feigned counterfeit . Some do complain of Fortune and blinde chance , And do their hands and eyes t'wards heaven advance ; And cry , O God ( which madst the glorious Sun , ) What hath poore England 'gainst Religion done , That all her goodnesse topsie turvie lyes , Derided , jeer'd at , wrong'd by contraries . Religion was the sacred bond and tye , The rule and square how men should live and dye ; The ground and sole foundation of the Law ; The good mans sword and shield ; the bad mans awe ; T was one entire in Majesty high stated , Now broken , fractur'd , rent and dislocated ; Divided into Sects , in pieces shatter'd ; And ( like a Beggers cloake ) all patch'd and totterd . And what hath England done to worke all this ? Nothing at all , but doing all amisse ; Esteeming earths corrupted fa●ing drosse , And slighting heaven , and true Religions losse . These are the causes , these for vengeance cals ; This makes high climers to have loest fals , When men seeke Honour with ambicious guile , My little wit doth at their follies smile ; That though they seeme most glorious , great and stout ; Yet Fortunes Wheele will quickly turne about . The potent Pope and Conclave of that Sect , Did ( and do ) daily stratagems project . The mungrill Papist , the Arminian , The consubstantiall misled Lutheran ; The Anabaptists , Brownists , Arians , Scismaticall Disciplinarians . These , and more Sects of Seperatists beside , Do from Religion to opinion slide ; And as they from each other disagree , In various fashions God is serv'd we see . Th' eternall Word 's high Majesty in such ( That man can never honour it too much , ) Is turnd unto the lowest spoke o' th Wheele , And too too few the overthrow doth feele . The King , who is the Lords anointed knowne , Whose Crownes and Kingdomes ( under God's 〈◊〉 I will not say 't t' oppresse , but true and just To guide all under his great charge and trust Though he ( next Christ ) imediate power hath ; And his resisters merit heau'ns hot 〈◊〉 Yet this is not remembred , very few Will render Caesar what is Caesars due ; Which is obedience , loyalty and love ( Because his power is from the power above ; ) But Church and State , are by the rabble rout Abus'd ; thus Fortunes wheele is turn'd about . Religion ( true ) that ought to be the ●ye From God to man , that man should 〈…〉 Is made a stable , a very staulking horse Wherein each beast doth 〈◊〉 a beastly course . Religion now each ignoramus whirles Into the fancies of fooles , boyes and girles , Who dare talke of Misterious 〈◊〉 ( Better then Bishops can ) in 〈…〉 They can finde out Daniels prophetique meaning , And from the Bible they have so much gleaning , That they dare venture with their quirks and quips To expound Saint Iohn and his Apocalips . Thus they thinke we , and we thinke they are out ; But Fortunes wheele I hope will turne about . Sects up are mounted , and their impudence And ignorance hath drove Religion hence ; As once the Papists , in Queene Maries raigne , The Protestant profession did disdaine ; When swords and halters , and tormenting flames , Exiles , imprisonments , and all th'extreames That hell or Roman 〈…〉 , The Gospell to suppresse by tyran●ize ; And now the Almighty hath this Kingdome grac'd , That Popish superstition is defac'd : A crew of new Sects are sprung up of late , As bad as Papists were to Church and State ; Whose barren knowledge seemes all things to know , Who would all rule , and learning overthrow ; Whose wisdomes still are in the wane , most dull ; Whose ignorance is alwayes at the full ; Whose good workes are invisible , so good Not to be seene , felt , heard , or understood : Of these mad Sects , ther 's too too many a wigeon , That doth despise the Protestant Religion ; And worse then Papists they deride and flout , But Fortunes wheele , I guesse , will turne about . Peace ( the same day that Christ rose from the grave ) Was the first gift He his Disciples gave ; And that his Peace should still with them remain He ( eight dayes after , gave them Peace again ; That Peace which passeth understanding all ; Is racketed and bandied like a ball : Warre , strife , contention , mischiefe and debate Opposeth Peace , and seekes to ruinate Faire England , by the meanes of men accurst , Who wrong her most whom she hath bred and nurst . And now against her Peace th' have madly fought , But Fortunes wheele I know will turn about . Love is the Livery , cognizance , and Crest Christ gives his servants , who are ever blest , Th' immortall God , left glorious heaven above , And was made mortall ( O transcendent Dove ! ) Nay more , he for his enemies did dye , And rise , that they might live eternally . He cald them brethren ( so their lo●es to win ) And made himselfe like them , in all but sin , He cals each true beleeving soule his brother And lov'd us so , cause we should love each other But all this love which he bestow'd so free , Is back repaid with Malice , as we see : The Wheele doth shew us how the case doth stand , Malice and hatred hath the upper hand ; Our words and works do shew we love him not ; Our love to one another is forgot ; We say and do the most part to this end ( He that so lov'd us ) how we may offend ; And stead of loving one another , as Our blessed Saviours last Commandment was , With malice we would cut each others throats ; Which shewes we do not wear Christs livery coats : And as Himselfe hath long agoe foretold , Th' increase of sin makes many mens love cold . Thus man his malice against man doth spout , God grant the Wheele may quickly turne about . Nor shall my Muse in this taske further run ; I wish the King and Parliament had done ; That as his Majesty is knowne to be , Gods chiefe vicegerent in his soveraignty ; So He with them may All as one combine To settle things , both Humaine and Divine ; That we may be held free from all offence , And gaine him hither , and not drive him hence With Libels , tumults , and a wretched rout , For which I 'le hope the Wheele will turn about . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A64193-e180 Ioh. 20.19 26. Phil. 4.7 . Ioh , 13.35 Heb. 2 . 1● . 
A64194	----	The Popes benediction, or, His generall pardon to be purchased onely with mony and without penance sent into England by Ignatim Holy-water a Iesuit to the Arch-bishop of Canterbury and to the rest of his subjects there. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64194 of text R23019 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T497). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 8 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 4 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64194 Wing T497 ESTC R23019 12747172 ocm 12747172 93277 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64194) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 93277) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 253:E158, no 15) The Popes benediction, or, His generall pardon to be purchased onely with mony and without penance sent into England by Ignatim Holy-water a Iesuit to the Arch-bishop of Canterbury and to the rest of his subjects there. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 5 p. [s.n.], London : 1641. Attributed to John Taylor. Cf. NUC-pre 1956. Illustrated t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Catholic Church -- Controversial literature. Great Britain -- History -- Charles I, 1625-1649. A64194 R23019 (Wing T497). civilwar no The Popes benediction or, his generall pardon to be purchased onely with mony and without penance: sent into England by Ignatius Holy-water Taylor, John 1641 1410 1 0 0 0 0 0 7 B The rate of 7 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Jennifer Kietzman Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Jennifer Kietzman Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE POPES BENEDICTION OR , His generall pardon to be purchased onely with mony and without penance : Sent into England by Ignatius Holy-water a Iesuit , to the Arch-bishop of Canterbury , and to the rest of his Subjects there . London , Printed 1641. THE POPES BENEDICTION . OR His generall pardon , &c. All haile to our Laud of little Grace ; WHereas your Grace imployed Ignatius Holy-water , to move our holynesse for some consolation in these your miseries , in regard that no petition or request of yours , nor any such loyall subject to us , as your Grace has bin , should suffer repulse ; know that we out of our holy clemency , have first granted a particular pardon to your Grace , for all offences and sins , of what nature soever heretofore committed , or hereafter to bee committed , Gratis . But withall know it is not usuall for us to remit sins , ( the nature whereof we are ignorant ) under the value of 50000. markes starling at least . But your Grace having so well improved your time ( for you had almost reduc't great part of the Iland ) to be conformable to our holy rites , Ceremonies , and customes , ( which the ignorant call superstitious , and committing Adulteries with the whore of Babylon ) we being holily affected , and studious to reward vertue , not only have granted your owne pardon gratis , but are desirous that your Grace would publish our free and easie remissions to all your friends that are well affected to our Holinesse . 1. If any Priest have stole any holy or consecrated things out of any holy place , ( to show that we are mercifull to your friends ) we tax him at seven grosses , which in your English coine amounts to ten shillings six pence , what though the value of the thing stole amounted to 20. li. it may be his gown was as bare as the bowling-alley on his head , and though he tooke a course that was not very commendable , yet necessary , for your sake at the said rate , for t is very fit his sin should not be committed without money , we pronounce his pardon and our love . 2. Next if a man commit adultery with a woman in the Church , as many a man through heat of blood may doe , especially having such objects to behold , as would thaw the icie blood of a holy Priest in the holy time of Lent , he for his absolution shall pay but six grosses , that 's nine shillings . 3. If a Priest buy a Benefice , as we see no reason why he should not , it being for his profit , another poore man gaping for it , charity begins at home , eight grosses that's twelve shillings . 4. He that has kil'd his father , mother , wife , sister , or any other kinsman , or kinswoman , or all of them , so they be of the laity is rated at five grosses , or seven grosses , and the reason why he is rated so low , all or any of these may be done upon good grounds , as his father might be old and hard-hearted , one that would neither die nor allow him meanes , his mother in possibility to be a witch , had not his provident hand prevented it , his wife incontinent might give him the Hornes , and make his head the wonder of the world , his sister one of St. Antholins society , his kinsman and kinswoman pinpe and bawd , he rather deserves to be rewarded . 5. A man that beats his wife with child , and either or both of them die , though his intentions might be good , he would not it may be be burthensome to the parish , or to save his owne charges , or it may be the breed was not good , so that he kil'd both mother and infant , or it may be he had a greater mind to another woman , yet he shall pay five grosses , seven shillings six pence for his absolution . 6. If any of the sacred order of Priest-hood , keepe a Concubine , he is rated at seven grosses , that 's something with the most , considering they are men ▪ they eate as good meates of mortality as others . They shrive , swive young and handsome Maids , they are allowed no wives to spend their Talent upon ; therefore they must needs have a little Coitum , for Physitians say it is wholesome and good , ad renes purgando , yet we must not winke at him without the said summe . 7. If a Priest defile a Virgin , he shall pay for his absolution six grosses , nine shillings , and no more . For we taking into our serious consideration , what a woman was made for , and what she was made handsome for ; and conceiving it most fit that she should be broken up in religion , that she might afterwards trade with a more safe Conscience thinke him not worthy a deeper censure . 8. An absolution for him that lies with his Godmother , or with any woman of his bloud or carnal kindred , or for him that lies with his sister or his own mother , is taxed at five grosses , seven shillings . For though a man by the rules of nature ought to requite curtesies , and for that reason did carnalium coire cum his Godmother , and though it may be he was bashfull , and ashamed to disclose his intentions to a stranger , and therefore out of modestie made bold with his sister , and though it may be his father was an old man and not able to satisfie his mothers libidinous appetite , and some body must needs doe it , and he could not endure that any should Cuckold his father but himselfe , or it may be his mother was a widdow and would marry againe , unlesse shee might have some satisfaction in her case , and if she married , it might be prejudiciall to his estate , and therefore hee would play the part of a Stallion , yet we cannot tax him at lesse then five grosses . 9. If a man have vowed to build an Hospitall , to found a Chappell , or erect a Church parochiall , and hath afterwards seriously considered what inconveniences may thereby ensue , as a bad use might be made of his good intentions , and so in times to come , vice rather then religion may be nurtured in them , and the many sums of mony , it would cost him to no purpose ; and therefore have a desire to have a dispensation from his vow , it shall cost him ten grosses . 10. If any man have a wife , that he 's desirous to part withall ( for reasons to himselfe best knowne ) and in her place would marry and live with the other , and have his children made Legitimate , all this shall be done for ten grosses that's 15. shillings . Our holinesse would have been pleased , to have perticularized more offences , & the penalties for them , but we were informed by your Messenger Ignatius Holy-water , that time was very precious to you , & if he made not hast you were in Posse , to be sent to Lim bum Patrum , without our holynes pardon , ( which Mary defend ) which is the only cause that makes our holines to be so briefe , but at the next returne of this our holy messenger , we will vouchsafe to nominate the penalties of the rest of the pardonable offences . In the Interim , let not your Grace be too remisse to see these sums tollerated , and transported to our holynesse use . FINIS . 
A64195	----	A preter-plvperfect spick and span new nocturnall, or Mercuries weekly night-newes wherein the publique faith is published and the banquet of Oxford mice described. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64195 of text R690 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T498). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 39 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 11 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64195 Wing T498 ESTC R690 12075582 ocm 12075582 53561 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64195) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 53561) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 239:E65, no 1) A preter-plvperfect spick and span new nocturnall, or Mercuries weekly night-newes wherein the publique faith is published and the banquet of Oxford mice described. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 20 p. s.n., [S.l. : 1643] A humorous imitation of the diurnals which began now to imitate Mercurius Aulicus, the Royalist Oxford weekly paper. Caption title. "Written at London by I.T."-p. 20. I.T. is John Taylor. cf. Wells, Henry W. Three centuries of drama. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng English periodicals -- Anecdotes A64195 R690 (Wing T498). civilwar no A preter-pluperfect, spick and span new nocturnall, or Mercuries weekly night-newes; wherein the publique faith is published, and the banque Taylor, John 1643 7196 8 0 0 0 0 0 11 C The rate of 11 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Jennifer Kietzman Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Jennifer Kietzman Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A PRETER-PLVPERFECT , Spick and Span New NOCTURNALL , or Mercuries Weekly Night-Newes ; wherein the Publique Faith is published , and the Banquet of Oxford Mice described . Saturday night . I Would have the Reader to understand that Night-worke and Day-worke is not all one , and as our London Diurnals ( although the Writers of them have Day-light to see to write truly , yet for all that they do often stumble into most grosse errours , which some are so bold as to call very Lyes : therefore my selfe that am fain to grope in the darke , ( or at the best in the Moon shine ) I hope , if I chance to ramble a little at one side now and then , it may be imputed to the darknes of the Times wherein it was written , and that want of eye-sight caused over-sight ; and whereas we begin our Diurnals on Mondayes , and Oxford Newes begins on Sundayes , I must be contrary to them both , and begin on Saturday-night , as followeth ; This Night ( without any vain flourishing , lying , or Whartoning ) there happened a very strange accident at Oxford , where near the upper end of the Butchers Row , within a quoytes cast of Carfax , there dwels one George Chambers a Stationer or Bookseller , who since these distracted Troubles hath bought and sold many Pamphlets of divers and contrary subjects ; some of them being of His Majesties part , and printed at Yorke , and at Oxford ; many of them were of the Parliament partie , and printed at London , so that there remained unsold in the said Shop of such sorts ( as were stale and past sale ) to the number of 160 , or thereabouts ; these small Trifles were laid one upon another confusedly ( like a pack of Cardes shuffled together ) so these Books were intermingled together , friends and foes , Truthes and Lyes , all in a heape , one amongst another , tied in a bundle with a packthred , the Owner intending to have every sort of them bound by themselves afterwards . All these Divisions being thus accorded with a cord , ( or parcell of Hempe , which will end all Divisions ) were laid upon a shelfe in the Shop ; to which Trusse , Fardle , Magazine , Masse , or Chaos of Confusion , an Armie of Mice came ( on the Saturday Night ) a Book-haling , where they valiantly assaulted this Bulwarke of Bookes , playing the Pioners part so valiantly , that with tooth and naile they entered the papyreall Suburbs , and never left undermining till they had made way , tyrannically tearing through the Territories of that Babel , gnawing and eating their passage with their sharpe fanges , ( as Hannibal did eate his way through the Alpes with Vineger ) many of them being almost choak'd with eating of three Words , onely Cavalier , Malignant , and Delinquent , the Frogges of Aegypt never had such a Banquet in Pharaohs Court , it would trouble Vitellius his Purveyers , Heliogabalus his Clerke of the Kitchin , or Sardanapalus his Master Cook to have made the Bill of fare , provided the acates , or drest the Diet , the severall Dishes were as followeth . ( I pray you pardon me if I erre in the manner of the service , for ( it was night and no order was kept in the eating ) but to the Diet , of which were all these severall Dishes following . These valiant Vermin fell first upon some famous Volumes , namely Plain English , the Observator , Mercurius Civicus , the Continuation , Sir Iohn Raies eight Speeches , Master Prin's 19th and last Volume , Master Speakers Parallel between a Parliament and Wife , Serjeant Wildes Argument for a new Great Seal , Sir Simon Dewes his Revelation , Master Callamie his purgation of perjurie , M. Marshall his Letter ( written to himselfe and devised by himselfe ) M. Pym's deliverance from the dangerous Plague plaister , ( which indeed was by his own device taken from a gall'd Horse backe ) after that the Mice began to nibble at Sir Benjamin Rudiard's Speeches , but finding them luke-warme ( too cold for the King , and too hot for the Parliament ) they left them , and fell to Anticavalerisme , then they fell to feed upon Queres , Mistakes , Feares , Iealousies , Malignancies , Doubts , Orders , Ordinances , Votes ; these they assaulted , and quickly made spoil of . Then there were many printed Bookes , wherein His Majestie had Declared His Gracious intention to all His loving Subjects , as Expressions , Declarations , Exhortations , Admonitions , Protestations , Imprecations , Proclamations , Demonstrations , and of all these the Mice would not eat one bit , but couragiously they fell upon Remonstrances , Letters , Messages , Passages , Treaties , Animadversions , Exprobrations , Exclamations , Objections , Questions , Answers , Replies , Replications , Reduplications , Quadruplications , Detractions , Distractions , Rebellions , Intelligences , Observations , Decrees , Orders , Lyes , Libels , Diurnals , Execrations , Resolves , Proofes , Disproofes , Extravagancies , Delinquencies , Cases , Causes , Clauses , Articles , ( all this while they touched not any Book or Paper that concerned the King , or wherein any thing was exprest either for His Majesties Service or Honour ) Then afresh they fall to 't again , gnawing and knabbling , Briefes , Breviates , Approbations , Amplifications , Transcriptions , Massacres , Petitions , Repetitions , Declamations , Supplications , Reservations , Degradations , Iustifications , Manifestations , Declarations , Molestations , Condemnations , Advertisements , Remembrances , Pamphlets , Sermons , Seditions , Fights , Battailes , Skirmishes , Suspicions , Submissions , Triumphs , Firings , Plunderings , Advices , Intelligences , Newes , Expositions , Propositions , Impositions , Transpositions , Acquisitions , Depositions , Suppositions , Compositions , Inquisitions , Commissions , and the Devill and all ; some Bookes also of Irish Rebellion were devoured as they had been Shamroys . Amongst which these remarkable Passages , there was one invective railing Pamphlet ( written by a namelesse Authour ) against Crosses , and any Signes , Figures , or Remembrances of any manner of Crosse whatsoever ; upon which crosselesse , untoward , overthwart Book the Mice fell in such curious manner that they gnawed it some foure inches down the backe , and as much on the foldings of the head , just into the perfect forme of a Crosse , almost as even as if it had been cut with a knife , which is a prediction that the very Vermin will rise against these villanous scandalous Pamphlet-mongers , and knabble their damnable Inventions , some all to tatters , and some into the formes and fashions of such laudable Figures , which they have railed against . These were the varieties of Dainties that were spoiled , devoured , sacked and ruinated at this banquetting Battail ; amongst which Viands three of Master Pym's Speeches were mistaken by the Mice to be kissing Comfits , Marmalad , and Suckets , ( for in sent and taste they were as sweet as Sugar Carrion ) but though they were delicious in the palate , it was found ( by wofull experience , that no Rats-bane could be more poysonous , nor any venome more banefull in operation , which is an emblem that though Mice are common pilfering Thieves , and do maintain their straggling Common-wealth onely by stealing , yet when they grow so audaciously impudent that they dare to feed upon Treason ( though it have a pleasant smacke ) yet it choaked them , and proved their bane , for many of them died , and it is certain most of them are destinated or bewitched like Traitors to be catch'd in a Trap , or fall into the clawes of the Cat , as Conspiratours , and wicked treacherous Rebels will drop into the Hangmans budget : but the Day begins to dawn , therefore I le give over till soon at Night : yet one thing more which was almost forgotten , there were two of Tailors Bookes in the bundle which the Mice touched not , the one was intituled New Preachers , New , and the other was a sweet well favoured Sermon upon Tobias and his Dog . Sunday Night . THis Night was very zealously consumed by the Brethren and holy Sisters , till between twelve and one of the clocke : amongst the Flocke there was a devout Gentlewoman ( one Mistris Fumpkins a Porters Wife in Pudding Lane ) who made a short Repetition of almost foure houres , upon Master Woodcockes Lecture the New-English Teacher at Laurence Church , at Laurence Lane end near Guild-hall , quasi All guile , where true Lye , very Lye , she did exceeding Lye , lay open Lye , how zealous Lye , fervent Lye , ardent Lye , and perswasive Lye , he had encouraged his Auditours , vehement Lye , to continue constant Lye , obstinate Lye , rebellious Lye , she said the Gentleman did sweat out most delicate Doctrine , and that he laboured like a Thrasher , and belaboured the Pulpit and Cushion extreme Lye , telling them that if they had not given Money or Plate towards the Cause , or laboured with the Shovell , Spade , or Barrow , for the raising of the Defensive ( most Offensive ) Workes and Fortifications to keep out the Armie of Protestants , Malignants , and Cavaliers , if they had done neither of these good Actions , they were not in the state of Grace ▪ or if they had not or would not hazard their Estates and Lives , to oppose , cast down , destroy , extirpe , and depose all kingly Government , all Church Order , and decencie , all Lawes and Authoritie , all obedience and loyaltie , all Christianitie , humanitie , and civill societie , that if they had not put any , or all of these vertues in practise there was small hope of any goodnesse in them , or any happinesse to befall them . When this good woman had finished her godly Repetition , there was wine in bottles , & cheare in bowles brought in , which the whole Assemblie fell upon religiously , consuming all in the way of Edification . The rest of the Night was spent with great diligence and studie , in devising who and where to break open and rifle the Houses of such as are doomed or condemned as Malignants , the purchase so gotten ( whether it be Money or Goods to be sold ) the High and Mightie , Magnificent Quartermain , the great Plunder-master Generall . His Fee is three pence in the pound , for all the pillage so lawfully taken , and it was affirmed , that at that rate his Vailes amounted to fifteen pounds in one day . Thus hath he raised his Trades from one degree to another , from a Brewers Clerke to a Preacher in a Mault-floore , and from a preacher to a most valiant Brownisticano , Plunderissimo , Generalissimo . Munday Night . ON Monday Night , about six of the clocke in the morning , the Sun being two houres high , there were Letters ( with some words in 'em ) directed from a trusty hand in Oxford to one Cut-beard a Barber in scalding Alley , one of which Letters contained briefly that the Cavaliers are in mightie distresse , and the Colledges in much want : but you must understand withall , that they want neither meat , manners , Ammunition , or courage ; and yet their case is lamentable , for since the taking of the sawcy Town of Teuxbury by the Parliament Forces , Mustard hath been at a greater price than Biefe at Oxford ; also their miserie is to be pittied ( if they were not Malignants , Delinquents , and true Subjects to the King ) for if there chance to come into the Market three hundred or more of Salmonds in a day , besides other fish and flesh in abundance , yet their poor & wretched estate is such , that it would grieve any tender heart to see what shiftes they are fain to make to get vineger so that it is manifest that our happinesse doth exceed the Malignant partie in all places , for we have a great deale more sawce than meat , and more meat by halfe than manners . This Night it was Ordered , that no Butter-women should come to the Citie with any Butter marked , printed , or molded with any formes of Crosses , upon pain that all the said Crosses should be demolished and melted , for the use of Cookes and Schul-boyes , & such like contemptible destructions ; for it was wisely taken into consideration that such Crosses were as dangerous and papisticall , as the Crosse in Cheapside , or the Crosses upon the ends of Saint Paul his Church , or any other Crosses whatsoever , they being by the judgements of the wise and opinions of the Godly held to be markes of the Beast , Roman badges , superstitious , Antichristian , idolatrous and abominable , onely such Crosses are allowed and beloved as are upon any manner of money , whether it be Papist or Protestant Princes Coine , the matter is indifferent . It is to be conjectured , that all the Crosse wayes in England must be made round , & that no Tailer shall dare to sit Crosse-legged upon pain of being plundered , for sitting superstitiously , and his Hell raked and ransacked of all his true and lawfully begotten Reliques and Remnants . Tuesday Night . THis Night three hundred Dragooners brought two old seditious and wicked Ministers out of Gloucestershire ; It is said they durst not onely presume to pray for the King openly , but also with all vehemencie exhorted the people to obey , love and honour Him , according to the rules and commands of Gods Word and the Lawes of the Land ; they were likewise taxed and accused for most wicked seducers of their Auditours to sue and seek for peace , and to be constant in the protestant Religion ; and further , they denied to give any money to raise or maintain War against His Majestie and the Orthodox Doctrine established : also it was proved against them , that they perswade many others to the like loyaltie and obedience : one of them was so bold as to preach against Rebellion , and cited some Authours for what he said , he quoted Casaubon , and Casaubon quoted Suetonius , that it was recorded that Brutus , Cassius , Cymba , Cas●a , and the rest of the Conspiratours against Caesar did all kill themselves with their own weapons which they wounded Caesar withall : upon this he made application to these Times , and perswaded the people to take heed , and never to dare to lift up their hands against their Soveraigne , for fear of the like or worse judgement to fall upon them . For which rebellious and distastfull kinde of Teaching they were committed to severall prisons , there to lodge amongst their Fellowes , whilest their Cattle must be seised , their Benefices suspended ; it is much hoped that Master Green the Feltmaker near Bridewell , or Gunne the preaching Cooper hard by the Bear-garden , or Carbrain the Anabaptist Dier on the backe side , shall have their places : their Families turned out of doores , their Houses rifled and ransacked , and their Goods carried to Plunderers Hall , there to be sold for the supportation and furthering of the good Cause , and themselves ( for examples and terrour of others to remain in Gaole till such times as they have learned better manners . It was also Voted this Night , that no man or woman should be capable to receive , have , hold , or keep , either goods , lands , meat , drinke , apparell , or any manner of necessaries whatsoever , except the said parties shall have the gaining & possessions of the said necessaries , either by the meanes of credit , ready money , love , or by the new made true and lawfull way of stealing and plundering . Moreover the said Tuesday Night the Garrison at Wallingford ( being all Carosists , Royalists , and Cavaliers , are in such distresse that Radishes and Onions are exceeding scarce , and ( to their further griefe ) Oranges and Limmons are dearer to them than to us , so that all manner of meates are like to be in good request amongst them , their best and only sawces are stomacke , pepper and salt . Also this Night was brought from Brainsford to Queenhithe that the Malignant partie did oppose his Excellencie , and that they would shew themselves the Benignant partie , for the service of God , their King , Countrey , and the Protestant Religion , and that we the true Anabaptisticall , Brownisticall , and zealous Reformers shall be as opposite to the Truth as the Truth is to us , which was Voted . Also this Night , there were papers found with some scriblings written by no bodie , wherein our London new Bulworkes , Rampires , Trenches and Workes were abused with nick-names , as they called our Fortifications but Twentyfications , and our Bul-workes , Cow-workes , because the women made them , but they said , the men were onely for the Ram-peire . It was also Voted that ( by reason of Feares and Jealousies that the Cavaliers would come and plunder the Citie ) in policie the people should be all plundered by the Parliament Forces , so that if the Cavaliers do chance to come , they shall finde nothing to take away , for we have a purpose to consume all by this kinde of stratagem of robbing one another . Wednesday Night . THis Night there were Pamphlets scattered , one of them was concerning Squares and Rounds , the Authour of Square-dealing was one Homo Quadratus , the other was Non Angulus Rotundus , wherein some worthy Citizens of Oxford were both taxed and vindicated , namely , T. Gol. Iacke of all Trades , W. G. a diligent zealous brother in warning and meeting at holy Conventicles , with many others meritorious brethren and sisters , who have forsaken Oxford , and their King , Religion , and Alleageance , who now suffer worthily for their holy Rebellion , as the Book of Homo Quadratus , doth most abusively and truly deliver and lay open . Also there came from the Presse A New Learned Weake Description of Weekly Newes ; it was so acute that it did cut and curry the Cavaliers , in such fearfull fashion , that a deafe man would rejoyce to hear it , this Volume of one sheet was called Mercurius Civicus , the Authour never wrote before that time , and died in his first Week of his Travels ; it is said by the Malignants , that he was most unfortunately choaked with seventeen neat and palpable Lyes , which he had carefully invented , and incerted in the said Book for the credit of our Armie , he is worse than dead , for his reputation is buried with this Epitaph , Here Mercurius Civicus lyes in his throat ; for we are resolved to believe any thing that makes for the advancing of our Cause , and likewise we suppresse and politiquely give no credit to such Newes or Losses as do make against us ; in briefe , we have lost a profitable Member by the death of this painfull Authour , but hang him , it is reported , that he is alive again , or the Devill in his likenesse ; however , it is to be conjectured , that he that was so nimble to abuse and tell the Malignant partieso roundly in one week , no doubt but if he had lived longer he would have bang'd them backe and side , beyond all beliefe and credit . It it ( almost ) certain , that Bruno Combertus the High and Mightie Emperour of Aethiopia , and Quoba Cond●na Pheodorwich the puissant King of the large Territories of the invincible and invisible Utopia , it is said , that they are both in our Narrow Seas with a thousand shippes , gallies , sloopes , and other Vessels for the War , they have brought two thousand Tunnes of Gold , Silver , pretious stones , and some Hangings , they are come to aid us against the Rebels that obey the King , they have brought five thousand Pieces of wooden Ordnance , powder more than can be counted , or to be spoken of , and shot beyond reckoning , with all other necessaries for War or Peace , they were feasted bravely aboord our Admirall ; and they will be ready to give Battail at Brumingham , as soon as ever the waters are high enough to bring the shippes thither . Newes came this Night , that the Authour of a seditious Pamphlet was taken at Lewis in Sussex , It was a Book wherein was declared the goodnesse and happinesse of the King , that ( beyond all example or record ) in 15 yeares Raigne had not any Nobleman , Gentleman , or any Subject that arose against him in any way of opposition or Rebellion , so that the Sword of Justice had no occasion to be drawn to cut of Treason ( a blessing unparallel'd in this Kingdom or any other for so long time ) till now ; & the Book said further , that when Augustus Caesar raigned , our Saviour was borne , and that the Emperour was Monarch of all the discovered Kingdomes of the World , and that Peace was then over the face of the whole Earth , which whole Earth Augustus commanded to be taxed , Luke 2.1 . Shortly after there was raised a Rebellion in Spain , ( by an Armie of Thieves ) under the command of one Crocotus ( a mad , hare-brain'd , desperate , ambitious fellow ) This Crocotus with his crew troubled Caesar , and committed many outrages upon peaceable people ; and to suppresse the Rebellion the Emperour caused Proclamations to be set forth , that whosoever could vanquish the Rebels , or take their Generall Crocotus and bring him alive or dead , should have twenty five thousand Crownes for his service , and pardon withall for any former faults committed : as soon as Crocotus heard of this Proclamation , he began to fear that some of his own Souldiers would cut his throat , or surprise and deliver him to Caesar , for so great a reward as was proclaimed ; upon which consideration , he wisely disguised himselfe , ran away from his Armie , and fell at Caesars feet , claiming the benefit of the Proclamation , for he had brought Crocotus alive , and so revealed himselfe , and was received into grace and favour , mending his manners contrary to all expectation . The application of this storie was , that it was desired that every offender would imitate Crocotus . Thursday Night . THis Night much Time was spent in drinke , smoake , and talke , at the Signe of the Man in the Moon without Dowgate ; where after some halfe a score rouses , every one began to talke of that which they had nothing to do withall , amongst the rest one ignorant fellow was bold to aske what manner of thing the Publique Faith is , and what the reason is that it is laid to pawn for Money every where , but ( that which made him most wonder was ) wherefore any one man would be so mad as to adventure to lend any thing upon it , ( except upon especiall good and lawfull grounded Reasons ) therefore he desired to be satisfied ●●wne● , his kinde of Publique Faith is , and how farre 〈◊〉 powe● 〈◊〉 it may extend . To which most sawcy and treacherous 〈…〉 lea●ed and worthy Welwisher to the Lowest Uppermost House replied , as followeth : My small Friend ( quoth he ) I will tell thee briefly what this new Publique Faith is , it is called Publique because it is common to all , and hath communitie in all , and to take away , waste , and consume all ; it is Generall , Catholique , and Universall , not peculiar to any man , particular not private to any person , there is no man hath any proprietie in it , more than he hath in his goods and lands ( as at this time the case is ) so that it is neither Thine nor Mine , but every mans ; it hath absolute power to borrow money , and to force unbelieving people to be exceeding desperate Creditours ; and whosoever is so wickedly minded as to presume to deny or delay what the Publique Faith demands , such refractory persons must be robb'd ( of all they have sometimes ) some have been so bold as to call it plundering , but instead of the word stealing , there is a pretty nickname given to it , called Seasing ; for this strange Faith hath that invisibilitie in it , not onely to tolerate Thiefts and Rapines , but to allow Burglaries , Fellonies , Murders , Rebellions , ( and some parcels of Treasons ) to be no breach of Lawes , and to lay all unruly persons in prison as will not be contented quietly ( without grumbling ) to be rifled and undone . It hath likewise power ( with the fame extorted or stolne goods or monies taken ) to raise War ▪ to transforme Colliers into Captaines , Broken Merchants to Colonells , trade fallen Tapsters into Tyrannicall Rodomontadoes , and these brave Man-divells shall be the Leaders of such Troops of unresistable , unconquerable Mirmidones that shall inforce all men to the obedience of the Publike faith . This Faith , is neither Protestant , Lutheran , Calvinist , Papist , or any kinde of Christian Faith , The Turke hath no faith to follow it , or the Moores to follow it , it is a faith that is full of workes , ( whereby it is notoriously meritorius ) and commonly it doth no harme to bad men ( for it leaves them to the judgement of another world ) it onely by afflictions tries the vertuous strength of their patience , as do desire peace , and to be obedient to their Sovereigne , and would willingly live quietly in such manner as God and the Lawes of this Kingdome ( grounded and derived on and from Gods Word ) hath established for the government and tranquilitie both of Church and State , such men as these , and none else but such as these are opprest , rifled , ransacked , imprisoned , masacred , and beggered by the mightie meanes of the Publique Faith : for it all the Goales in England were searched ( I mean such Goales as are under the high and mightie command of the Publique Faith ) all those that lie in those Gaoles are laid there by that Faiths command for no other faults , but for being true Protestants and loyall Subjects to their Soveraigne , on the contrary there is not any Anabaptist , Brownist , Schismaticke , Seperatist , or Rebell in any trouble or prison under the command of the Publique Faith . And whereas ( of it selfe ) it hath not power , except by direction of legal Statutes & Ordinances , joyned ( and protected ) by regal power and Authorietie , yet it assumes , ( or presumes to take to it selfe , and make of it selfe what Power it list , either regal or legal , what shal most advance the selfe will of it selfe : it is so potent , as it can maintain it selfe in magnificent pompe , by forcible borrowing , and withall it is so just as to pay double ( with emptie promises ) it can turne Orthodox prayer and preaching into pedlary prating , also Libels , Lyurnals , and scandalous railing Pamphlets are not onely tolerated by the Publique Faith , but all and ( worse than all this ) hath been countenanced and encouraged by exalting the insulting swarme of mechanicke or trencher Pulpiteers , that what betwixt the medley of their seditious gallimaufrey hotch-potch doctrine , and the meer froathie inventions compiled and dispersed in great Volumes for pence a piece ; it is most certain , that God hath not escaped blasphemie , or the King calumnie , the people unspeakable miserie , the estate obloquie , and the whole Kingdome infamie , to the most contemptible scorne of all Nations . The Publique Faith can frame and devise Navies of shippes , Armies of men and amunition , and Letters and Messages from the Kings of Denmarke , France , and Spain , ( of which Letters those Kings never knew , and those Shippes , Armies , and Armes are invisible , or like Castles in the ayre ) this Faith can also invent supposed Battailes , Fights , and triumphant Victories , where never stroke was strook or blow given , and it can command Bels to be rung , Bonefires to be inflamed , and publique Thankesgiving in Churches , and proclaim it selfe victorious , when it is most miserably and bravely beaten , and that it killed seven hundred with the losse of two men and one boy , and halfe a Horse , whereby the credulous seduced people have their giddy braines tost to and fro , from Jealousies to Feares , from Feares to Hopes , and from Hopes to lend and give Money as if they were mad , and in so laying out their Money , they deservedly purchase their miserie . Moreover , this Faith cannot be perswaded by any meanes to endure or abide a King , especially if he be a good one , or will not be such an one as this Faith would make him , but if he do but claime his right , or stand upon lawfull termes for his Royall and just Priviledge and Prerogative ; if he be so unruly , that he will not be ruled by this Publique Faith , he must then be robb'd and plundered of all that ever he hath , or at least of as much as this Faith can lay hold on , for it hath power with the Kings Amunition , Armes , Shippes , Money , Revenue , Townes , Houses , Castles , or any thing that is the Kings , in the Kings name to shoot bullets against the King , and fight against the King , for the preservation and service of the King . Thus the Publique Faith hath surpassed Pharaoh's Magicians in Legerdemain , it hath trasform'd our Land into the Isle of Guls temporally , and old England into New England spiritually . It hath made mens wealths and alleageance , crimes and causes , of their losse of estates and lives ; it hath put down all Spirituall Courts , so that there is no punishment for the sweet sin of Lecherie , whereby Fornication , Adulterie , Bigamie , Poligamie , and Incest with brasen uncontrolled fronts , make whores , knaves , cuckolds , bawdes , bastards , thieves , and beggars by the hundreds , so that if this world lasts and this geer go forward , we shall have Plato's Common-wealth here , and concerning our wives , we shall all turne to be Nicholaitans ; by which brave unbridled Libertie , Hey down derry Downing , Roome for an Hackney Presbyterean , that whilest his wife lay sicke , got the Nurse and the Maidservant both with childe , but some satisfaction was made , for the Wife died , he married the Nurse , concerning the other plumpe Girle , some course was taken , but all 's one for that , the Parish is big enough to keep both the Cow and the Calfe . Thus can the Publique Faith taxe a reverend Clergie with corrupted Simonie , and yet it selfe can make money of all things , it can turne Obedience into Rebellion , and Loyaltie into Treason , it can molest a good King , disturbe and ruinate Kingdomes , and in conclusion to wear it selfe so thred-bare , that all the Cloath-workers in England will never be able to set a new nap upon it . Thus have I declared the almightie and omnipotent sway of the Publique Faith , yet I have not related any things concerning particulars , but onely touch'd at the generall Heads of the potencie , power , actions , force , and vertues of it , the Day breakes , and our Authour writes nothing but Nightworkes ( or Deeds of Darkenesse ) so , Good morrow my Masters . Friday Night . THis Night lamentable Newes was brought that Prince Ruperts Troopes did most unmercifully plunder a poor old woman within foure miles of South-East Wickham , the case was pitifull as it was related , that the woman kept a blinde , smoakie , drie Alehouse , neare the High-way , and that two Tinkers had been there and dranke all her Ale the day before the Armie marched that way , but the next day the Souldiers being on their march demanding drinke for their money , the old woman told them , that she had none left , but the Souldiers being offended , in a revenging manner , entered her house , and plundered it of all the water which she had provided to brew withall , but took nothing at all from her besides , but the poor distressed Ale-wife cried out , and wrung her hands , saying , she was undone , she was undone , utterly undone , at which instant the Prince comming by , and hearing the deplorable noyse of the woman , demanded what was the cause that made her crie out so extremely , she answered , that the Souldiers had been the breaking of her , by depriving her of the benefit of two Trades at once , videlicet , a Brewer and an Ale-wife , by drinking up all her water , whereupon his Highnesse threw her an Angell , and rode away laughing at her miserie : some say that Boy the Dog of War wagged his taile merrily in a jeering manner at the womans calamitie ; and this was the most extraordinary outrage that the Prince or his Armie committed at that or any other time , for the Malignants say it is no robberie to plunder Rebels . But now be amazed , astonished , and possest with wonder and admiration , and if ever we had cause to be beside our selves , out of our wits , or starke mad with joy , now is the time ; there was this Night brought to light the most horrible , terrible , detestable , cruell Plot that ever was contriv'd since the dayes of Achitophel , the Sicilian Even-song comes short of it , the Massacre of Paris comes not neare it , the Spanish intended Invasion was a toy to it , and the Powder Plot was but a blast or puffe in comparison of it ; but I hold my Reader too long before I come to the unpurposed purpose , or marrow of the matter , which was as followeth : This Night our watchfull Centinels , closely and carefully examined all that came neare them , and if any were so sawcie as to say they were for God and the King , there was a a strict Order for them , for being dangerous persons to the State , about nine of the clocke , or two houres before or behinde : a tall fellow disguised , with a water tankard on his shoulder , stopt with a clout , as the manner is , which he had filled at the Conduit , as he said , falsly , for it was proved afterwards to be wilde-fire-water , this audatious Herostratus knowing where a Souldier stood with his Musket , which Souldier had a pound of Powder in a paper loose in his pocket , which the Villain having notice of , he suddenly stepped to him , and plucked out the stopple of his Tankard , whereat the water gushed forth with such violence that it fired the Powder , and blew the Souldier from the Standard in Cheape over the houses into Milkestreet , as farre as Saint What d'ye call hims Church , where the learned Master Case teaches , the wicked wretch was taken with his watery Engine , and upon examination he confest , that he and seventy nine more of his fellowes were hired by the Malignant partie to fire the Citie in eleven score and twelve places with this new-found stratagem of Water-tankards , for the which Plot the Traitour was committed to Waltham house neare Bedlam , and it is thought that publique Thankesgiving must be given for this great Deliverance . This Night also there came Newes of two strange disasters which happened at Saint Albans , the the one was of one Iohn Robotham Esquire , whom the Malignants do call Justice Ignorance , this worthy Squire to expresse his Loyaltie did oppresse all such as any way did love or honour the King , for which purpose his Clerke and himselfe did drive a great Trade in buying and selling of Mittimusses , Warrans , Bindings over , Withdrawings of Recognisance , Commitments , Releasings , Fees , Plunderings , and gentle Rewards , by which meanes he got a wicked deale of money ; this mightie bottomelesse Justice Robotham did for the service of His Majestie take away all the Armes and Amunition that any of His Majesties Friends had , and with the same Armour and Armes so plundered , he armed the Rebels , and yet all that was done by him was done for the Kings service ; amongst the rest of the Armes he had an head-piece of his own which he took great pride in , for it was light , bright , white , and ( at the least Elder-gun proofe ) it was his great Grandfathers Morion ( a Murrein on 't ) at the siege of Southampton in Cumberland , indeed there was a privie search made for it , ( for the very house of office was examined ) but no finding could be found , and because there were so many Wenches with childe in the Town , [ Mistris Justice ] Master Justice Ignorant's Wife protested by her Halliday and Womanhood that she had rather have lost his Cod-piece than his Head-piece . Also there was one Thomas Sadler who had formerly been a fractur'd Linnen-Draper , retired to a Countrey conversation , his Lawn transform'd into Land , his Holand metamorphosed into Zeal-And himselfe quite devoured by invisible uncharitable Devotion ; to expresse the ardencie , fervencie , vehemencie , and furiositie of his love to the observation of Church Orders , upon a Fast-day he went into his Barne where he congregated his own people and some others , there being a great Bucking-tub brought into the Barne , the said Tub having two holes which a cole-staffe was to be put through upon occasion , through which holes a rope was fastened , and Master Sadler being in the Tub , the rope was cast over a beame , wherewith he commanded himselfe to be hoised up , that he might make his preachment , where after nine Psalmes , and a stretch'd out five quarters prayer , he began and proceeded with singular and single Doctrine to perswade his Audience to be loyall in Rebellion , and obedient in opposing all Law and Order , which Godlesse instructions the Assemblie did not onely give large eares unto , but also edified beyond measure thereby ; at last he being suddenly inspired and transported with a fierie Enthumiasmicall rapture , he began to denounce destruction and confusion against the Cavaliers , and with his violent expressions , and agilitie of action , in stamping the word Damnation hard under his foot , he thumped out the bottome of his hanging Pulpit , ( whereby his foundation was as bottomlesse as Hell , of his Doctrine ) and withall fell down in the threshing floor , where he lay a good while in a tranuce ; some say he was bruised , but the wisest of his Audience do believe that he was in private contemplation with the Spirit . And thus upon the Fast-day was this admirable piece of faste and loose . It was much disputed in the House what the true meaning of the word Malignant is ( that is so often repeated in Print , and Pulpit ) one said , it was derived from two Latine words , Malè lignum , an evill wood , a crooked , knottie , sappie , unserviceable timber , good onely to make Gallouses . FINIS . Written at London by I. T. for those that will reade , and are to be bought where they are to be sold . 
A64201	----	A reply as true as steele to a rusty, rayling, ridiculous, lying libell which was lately written by an impudent unfoder'd Ironmonger and called by the name of An answer to a foolish pamphlet entituled, A swarme of sectaries and schismatiques / by John Taylovr. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64201 of text R23441 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T506). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 11 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64201 Wing T506 ESTC R23441 12763889 ocm 12763889 93543 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64201) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 93543) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 253:E160, no 23) A reply as true as steele to a rusty, rayling, ridiculous, lying libell which was lately written by an impudent unfoder'd Ironmonger and called by the name of An answer to a foolish pamphlet entituled, A swarme of sectaries and schismatiques / by John Taylovr. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 6 p. s.n] [London? : 1641. In verse. Illustrated t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Walker, Henry, -- Ironmonger. -- Answer to a foolish pamphlet entitled, A swarme of sectaries and schismatiques. Great Britain -- Religion -- 17th century -- Sources. A64201 R23441 (Wing T506). civilwar no A reply as true as steele, to a rusty, rayling, ridiculous, lying libell; which was lately written by an impudent unfoder'd ironmonger and c Taylor, John 1641 1910 7 0 0 0 0 0 37 D The rate of 37 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the D category of texts with between 35 and 100 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-06 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2002-08 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A Reply as true as Steele , To a Rusty , Rayling , Ridiculous , Lying Libell ; which was lately written by an impudent unsoder'd Ironmonger and called by the name of An Answer to a foolish Pamphlet Entituled , A Swarme of Secta●ies and Schismatiques . By IOHN TAYLOVR . The Divell is hard bound and did hardly straine , To shit a Libeller a knave in graine . Printed Anno Dom 1641. A Reply as true as Steele , To a Rustie , Railng , Ridiculous , Lying Libell . VVHat Dogs Infernall Snaps and Snarleth thus ? ( Begot by Tripleheaded Cerberus ) No 't is a pretty Puppy , with one head , A Red haird whelpe , that can both Write and Read . Sprung from the devill and a mad Dun Cow , Nurse in a Dunghill where he suck'd a Sowe , This Amsterdam'd cur , hath strange Libels flirted And much fowle Inke besquitterid and Besquirted That every where his Roguish Pamphlets flies That England's all embrodred or'e with lyes . And late this cankerd viperous hownd of hell His toadlike mallice did against me swell , And did a poysnous lying libell frame Against me , but durst never set his Name . An Annagram Denominotes him well Three scurvey words , a KNAV , REVILER , HEL , These shew his name , his nature and his end ( Except before hee 's hang'd he meanes to mend . ) For who is fitter for black hell to have Then a reviler and a railing Knave , And not to hold you in suspence much longer This fellow is a Quondam Iron-monger And now his coppies Chaung'd , crackd Like a shell In Gracious street , doth Graceles libells sell . If I would be an Idle babling talker Perhaps I then should name him HENRIE WALLKER . But 't is no matter , I 'le a while forbeare Hee 'l hang himself if I should name him heere ; He in his title page , six times sets down My name , but never once , durst write his own And though his libell be one Sheete ( no more ) And Prose and Verse the lines are but eightscore , Ye fifty of these Roguish lines ( pray know it ) He stole from FENNER , the dead Rimcing Poet . And yet the mungrill Dogg's wits was to seeke That he was faine to pumpe Above a weeke . To answer me , but this reply was soon unwrit and writ in halfe an Afternon . And what sweet stuffe his Giant muse brought forth Those that wi●l reade may quickly know the worth . He layes about him bravely with his Inke And taxes me with drabs and to much drinke But those that know me well , do know me so That I to both those vices am a foe , But were I given to the veneriall crime I would have seen his wife before this time , If he be Iellious , he deserves for that To wear a faire Ox-feather in his Hat ; Th' Archbishop nor his men did me invite Nor for a meal did I the book endite For 't is to sundry gentlemen well knowne That I did write that booke three yeares agone . Let trencher knaves ( like Walker ) Scrape for scrapps And with the snuffes of Greatmen Rince their chappes , No Bishops not in England living be That I have cause to thanke for gifts to me . He that takes part with Rome , let him have Hell And there is Roome enough , there let him dwell : But though those lines may shew sincerity Yet they are far from Christian charity , ) I hate no person , ( Layman , or Divine ) Nor 'Gainst misguided soules do I repine , I hate mens crimes , nor do I love mine own , ( And charity begins at home 't is knowne ) As men transgresse , so punish the offender As men are men so men should pitty tender ; This shallow pated foole that railes and raves I pitty him and all his brother knaves Sure if they had wit they would descry Good manners must not be Idolatry , That Popery is not railes , though too much railing Hath shewed Romes mingle mangle wrangling failing . Thou filthv fellow , dost thou make no ods Between a Stable and a House of Gods , I thinke the devill feares that doomes day's neere And therefore he those adverse Sects doth reare And Buzzeth sundry formes of strange Religions That he may catch the most of them like Widgeons ; For what a lamentable case is this When such mad fooles ( whom wisemen scorne and hisse ) Dares take upon them to reforme and teache Various Rell●gions , all beyond their reach . And this rare Rascall , ( in his zeale discreet ) Went lately to the Owle that 's in Kings street There was his Bible paund ( for what I pray ) For one quarte of Metheglin left to pay . Was not this Rogue rap'd with some spright devine To pawne Gods word for poor Welch Muscadine . He talkes of whipping , and of Iayles to me Of gallowses , and things called Pillorie , And such od whimsyes , which the Gentleman Doth hammer in his Perricranian , Yet late Greatmen of Government thought fit To clap him in the fleet with all his wit , And being thence releas'd , he afterward Was kept in Wood-street-Counter with good guard For why it vvas a matter most unmeet His precisous Pamphlets should bestrow the street . And make some old men , that for got almost To ride a Horse , to ride each Pissing Poste , And all his patience could not be content To stay for order from the Parliament , I hold it manners to forbear a while Till that High Court our wrongs can reconcile To wait with patience , and with prayers desire That God that Blessed Senate would inspire With Grace , true wisdom , courage , saving health For Heavens Great-service , King and common wealth . But Master Walker and such Knaves as he To wait their leasures cannot quiet be : But they must Libell raile , and keep a Rut , And ( as they please their own wayes out to cut , And like unmaunag'd wild untoward Iades Lay by their laudable and lawfull Trades , And sawcily to preach , prate , rore , and lie Against all order rule and descencie ; And all such as are not seditious To call them Papists , and idollatrous , As Froggs and Toades do breed from Putred slime So do these Vermine feed upon mens crime Like Swine ith'mire , they love to wallow in The Sordid Loathsom Excrements of Sin . And though offenders suffer worthily Yet will these varlets malice never die , For though unhappy Strafford be struck dead They mount him up a cock-horse sans a head . And this most precious youth , with tongue and pen Is chiefe amongst the devills serving men , For with his serpents tongue and poysned breath He doth his worst to torture after death , And sure because thou canst do Ill so well Thou must expect to have thy hire in hell , This stinking Vermin ( mounseir overthwart ) Quite oposite to Nature , Law and Art , Holds it not fit he should be kept in awe Within the Rules and limmi●s of the Law , And therefore if the Law should bid him stand Then he would kneele , ( contrary to command ) And when to kneele , good manners holds it fit In opposi●ion he would stand or sit ; For nothing his rebellious minde contents That is not mix'd with disobedience A sister as she chanced to set her eye on The Kings Armes in the Church , the Rampant Lyon , She said his Priap mov'd unlawfull motions Which did disturbe and hinder her devotions , But when her husband came to be Church-warden He caus'd some formes of flowers from field or Garden Or sedge and flagges , 'twixt the Beast legges be painted To hide his whim wham , which her minde had tainted . This was done really , and 't is no fable To prove it so I quickly can be able , And now thou poysoned pickthank pestilent That writ'st and Rimest so poor so violent Me think this my reply may answer thee , If not , th'art like to have no more of me I scorne and loath , that er'e my pen or tongue Should write or speak to such a lump of dunge ; Yet thou , ( well skild in foolish impudence ) 'Gainst these retorting lines will take offence And with Mockado mouth and judgement Rash , And tongue of Saye , thou 'lt say all is but trash , And that 't is pitty , I should thus disperse A businesse of such consequence in verse , Indeed , with thee it cannot stand for good Nor can it well by thee be understood , Thou hat'st the muses , yet dost love to muse In railing tearmes thy betters to abuse , Verse must have method , measure , order , feet , Proportion , cadence , weight and number , sweet But thou that hat'st good verse , and libels make Dost with the Devills cloven foot thy measure take And where thou hast no power thou dost deride ( so will all Rogues that verse cannot abide ) But let such know , that heaven bred Poetry Despiseth mundane poore fellicity , Nor for Vaust ayre will like a mag-py Chatter , Or for the Crummes of greatnes Lye and flatter , I could write lines , ( thou fowle ill looking elfe ) Should make thee ( in Jambicks ) hang thy selfe , Th'art fowle within , and my sharp lancing quill Can make Incision , and with Art and skill Search deep for dead flesh and Coroded Cores And from corruptions cleare and clense thy sores . Th'art almost Gangren'd , and I surely think No Balls●m's better then a Poets Inke , My pen can lash detraction and I can Be valliantly bold , and wrong no man , But wherefore ( like a Mountebank ) doe I Spend time and Ink upon such rascall frye As is this gad-flye . 'T is not Sergeons Art Can help him , it perhaps may make him smart . But he will be uncured , as he hath bin Except he first be Cleansed and purged within : So , Walker , Walk Knave and more Roguery brew And farewell and be hangd , that 's twice adiew . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A64201e-130 Look into the tenth line following , and there in Capital letters you shall finde that these three wicked words are his Anagram . The Rascall sayes that I was invited to dinner , a● the Tower it is knowe I was a servant there 14. yeers . 
A64203	----	St. Hillaries teares shed upon all professions from the judge to the petty fogger from the spruce dames of exchange to the durty walking fishmongers : from the coven-garden lady of iniquity to the turne-bal-streete-trull and indeed from the tower-staires to Westminster ferry : for want of a stirring midsomer terme this yeare of disasters, 1642 / written by one of his secretaries that had nothing else to doe. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64203 of text R15224 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T508). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 16 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64203 Wing T508 ESTC R15224 12650410 ocm 12650410 65278 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64203) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 65278) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 252:E151, no 16) St. Hillaries teares shed upon all professions from the judge to the petty fogger from the spruce dames of exchange to the durty walking fishmongers : from the coven-garden lady of iniquity to the turne-bal-streete-trull and indeed from the tower-staires to Westminster ferry : for want of a stirring midsomer terme this yeare of disasters, 1642 / written by one of his secretaries that had nothing else to doe. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 8 p. [s.n.], London : 1642. Attributed to John Taylor. Cf. NUC-pre 1956. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng A64203 R15224 (Wing T508). civilwar no St. Hillaries teares. Shed upon. all professions, from the judge to the petty fogger. From the spruce dames of exchange, to the durty walkin Taylor, John 1642 2969 7 0 0 0 0 0 24 C The rate of 24 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion St. HILLARIES TEARES . Shed upon . ALL PROFESSIONS , FROM THE JUDGE TO THE petty Fogger . From the spruce Dames of the Exchange , to the durty walking Fishmongers . From the Coven-Garden Lady of iniquity , to the Turnebal-streete-Trull , And indeed from the Towerstaires to westminster Ferry , For want of a stirring Midsomer Terme , This yeare of Disasters , 1642. Written by one of his Secretaries that had nothing else to doe . LONDON , Printed Anno. Domini 1642. SAINT HILLARIES TEARES . WHat ? Middsomer ? How comes it then the Sunne , and Moone , of Gold and Silver , which had wont to disperse their radiant luster with greater brightnesse , and consolation then those that shine i' th Zodiacke , have now withdrawne their splendor , and left us in this Cimmerian night of small takings ? A Terme so like a vacation ? you would take them to be the Gemini , which constellation never appeares but out of darknesse , There is no plague to fright away the Termers , unlesse it be that plague of plagues , want of trading , which their money would easily cure . At Westminster Hall wherein pristine ages you might without offence shoulder a Lord to get through the presse , now you may walke in the same posture a Justice of peace doth in his owne great Hall at the examination of a Delinquent , play with your bandstrings , and twist your beard with the same gravity , and not an elbow-rub to disturbe you , The Benchers better halfe-empty , and those few Judges left have time enough to get a nap , and no noise to awake them , The barrs that had wont to swell with a fivefould row of listed gownes , where the favorites in the front imbursd more Fees then would supply an Army , and the rest ( by Lady ) had good doings , a motion or a short cause to open , are now so empty that boyes may peepe over them , The surly Tipstaves and messengers whom your best Oratory , and money to boote , would hardly perswade to admit you within the bench-roome , stands looking over the dore as it were through a Pillory , to aske you Sir shall I open ? and for the teaster you give him , kisses his hand and scrapes you all leg , as fawningly , as a hungry Spanill takes a bone from his master , The Lawyers in stead of perusing the breviates , and reducing the matter in question to Cases , now buying up all the pamphlets , and dispersing themselves into corners to reade them , thereby to keepe their tongues in use , lest the faculties of brawling should be dried up with unwilling silence . The prime Court the Chancery , ( wherein the Clerks had wont to dash their clients out of countenance with long dashes , The examiners to take the depositions in Hyperboles , and round about Robin-hood circumstances , with saids and aforesaids to enlarge the number of ●●eets , The Registers to whom you used to come , in the same equipage as if you had a suit to the councell board , and had this ready answeare , well you must waite till the latter end o' th terme . ) now as silent as a Puritan conventicle when the lights are out , no waiting , no Hyperboles , no Dashes , nor any imployment , towards maintenance of Taffata , Sack , Wenches , and other the usuall prodigalities , and luxuries , whereunto the Gentlemen that practise there are addicted . That Court that hath beene knowne to decree pro , review , and decree Con , hath the Bar now empty of Pro's , and Con's , no wrangling , no noyse but the lamentation of my Lords escape . The Court of Requests to whom so many thousands of loyall , faithfull , and obedient Subjects have come humbly complayning , and shewing , can shew you at this present no subject but his owne humble complaint , you that knew it when the necessity of over great imployment , caused it to double the number of its Clarkes , and they to treble theirs , when it was solicited by petitions as numberlesse as Hops , or Ants , which all her Welsh kindred had brought two hundred and twelve and and twenty miles , to get admitted in Forma pauperis , and thereby enabled to doe more mischiefe then the best purs't Clyents in England , would wonder how it should tumble from such a throng , to such a vacation of imployment . That that Court that hath made two hundred Orders in one cause , should be in danger not to have one cause to Order , It is me thinks a lamentable change . The Ministers of the Court of Wards , doe all weare mourning liveries in their faces , as if Fate had granted out writs in the nature of a Diem clausit extremum , after the death of Fe●●da multa , to find their Offices for Vacua plurima , And of all Courts else the Chequers must needs come within the limitation of this calamity , because they stand so much for the King , and in that predicament is the Kings Bench , marry if any thrive it must needs be the Common Pleas , for as the times goe nothing stands stiffe , but what pertaines to the Commons , and yet they meete with revolts too as well as the rest . On both sides of the Hall they complaine , At Heaven they say that 's not a Lawier nor Clerke comes neere them : And at hell where they had wont to flock like Swallowes to a Reede bush , they come but dropping in now and then one , as apportunity of businesse makes them able , the Coaches which had wont to rumble up and downe as they would chalenge Heaven to thunder for a wager , and did use to lie in the Pallace yard , and before the Innes of Court gates , like so many Busses , or fleetes of fisherboats in harbour , pearing over the haven keyes , now seeme like westerne Barges on the Thames at a high tide , here and there one . And you are no sooner out of the Hall-yard but entring into Kings streete , you finde the Cookes leaning against the Dore-postes , ruminating upon those Halcion Termes , when whole herds of Clerks , Solicitors and their Clyents , had wont to come with their sharpe-set noses , and stomacke , from the Hall , and devoure the Puddings , and minc't Pyes by dozins , as swiftly as a kennell of Hounds would worry up a dead Horse , And now the Courts are risen before they are hungry , The Tavernes , where an Iron Mill would hardly have drown'd the noise of the yawling boyes , the Bar-bell , the fidling , and roreing above staires , now so silent you may rock a child asleepe : The spruce Mistris that had wont to sit in the Bar , domineering over the Drawers , and not to be spoken withall if you would kisse her arse to speake with her , now so familiar , bids you so heartily welcome , and will come and joyne her halfe pint with yee , and let you salute her , and thanke you , And thinke it very well if all that courtesie will invite you to mount the reckoning to a pottle , The Ale-houses and Tobacko-shops are growne sweete for want of takings , you may walke by them without danger of being choack't . All along the strand , ( lodgings being empty ) you shall finds the house-keepers generally projecting where to borrow , and what to pawne , towards payment of their quarters rents , thereby to preserve their Leases from forfeiture , and themselves , from the tyranny of their sterne Landlords , who are very infidells in trusting , and will not forbeare a minute ; Nay the mischiefe on 't is , there are no Courtiers nor bad paymaisters to curse , and raile at for want of money , and that 's the heaviest torment of all . If you step aside into Coven-Garden , long Acre , and Drury Lune , where those Doves of Venus , those Birds of youth , and beauty , ( the wanton Ladies ) doe build their nests , you shall finde them in such a dump of amazement , to see the hopes of their trading frustrate , their beauties decaied for want of meanes to procure Pomatum , and F●●ous , Their eyes which like glistering comets had wont to dazle their Idolaters , now shadowed with clowds of griefe , their golden tresses which had wont to flag about their shoulders , like so many ensignes in Cupides Regiment , and every haire thereof had a servant or visitant , which did superstitiously dote on it , now for want of curling , and ordering growne to the fashion of an Irish rugge , And what a misery it is to see the Velvets , Sattins , and Taffaties , nay the curious smockes , sent to the brokers , and the whole wardrope that was purchast with so large a proportion of free favours , and communities , now reduc't to one pore tufted holland suit ? It is not pitty to see them ( pore soules ) who had wont to shine like so many constellations in the Firmament of the suburbs , and be hurried in Coaches to the Tavernes , and Sparagus Gardens , where ten or twenty pounds suppers were but trifles with them , should now goe to the Chandlers , and herbe-wives in slip-shooes , for Cheese and Onions to dinner ? Well content your selves , ( you attractive Load-stones , of delicious and smooth damnation ) And doubtlesse the Arch-angell my successor , will bring your angells to redeeme all , And your Champions and Cavaliers , will returne with their pockets doubly furnisht , for you are as sure of them as they are of your diseases , They are now but only purchasing , and laying up for you against their comming home . This dearth of traffique , is but a preparation to a large mart to follow , and this devowring winter of penury , doth but presage a lively spring in the hot blouds of the young Gallantry , which when it comes , you shall againe enjoy those blessings of Wine , musique , good clothes , money , and dainty fare , be enabled to pay your rayling Land-ladies , and defie the beadle with as much impudence , as ever you did . Well from you , I must follow the steps of many an old Letcherous Citizen , and walke into London , where at the Exchange , the onely question that is ask't is what news ? not from Aleppo , Constantinople the Straits , or Indies , but from Yorke , Ireland , and the Parliament , the answer is , why the King is still obstinate , wee shall have all our throats cut , those Expicurean throats of ours are doom'd to be cut , for swallowing so many luxurious ca●es , we had neede to prick up our eares , and elevate our broad overgrown hornes for the safty of our selves estates and children , marry as for our Wives , they know well enough already , the danger of Courtiers , and Cavaliers , and therefore dare meete the roughest Gamester of them all in any posture whatsoever . From hence I travell to Guild-Hall , where I finde the Lawyers complaining of infinite numbers of Banckerouts , men so far decayed in estate , that they will compound to pay more then halfe , confesse judgments , render their bodies to prison , prostitute their wives , or any thing rather then stand out the prosecution of a suit at Law . Then at the Halls of every severall Company , where in former ages , all the Elements would scarce afford variety , to please the ingenuous gluttony of one single feast , now you shall heare the meaner sort of Tradesmen , cursing those devowring Foxes , the Masters , and Wardens for the infinite charge their insatiate stomackes do put them to ; from hence goe to their particular shops , where there is nothing amongst the Tradesmen , but condoling the want of the Courtiers mony , and their wives and daughters almost distracted for want of their company , There are no upstart Gallants , to draw into their bookes , no yong● heires to exchange shopware for Lordships withall , nor any trading ●ut one with another , in which they are so familiarly acquainted with each others knaveries , that alas , their gaines are as good as nothing : And amongst them all that quintessence of unquestionable simplicity , the very spirit of villany , extracted out of all compounded villanies , That Masterpeece or Idea of dissimulation , which nature made her example to portraicture a Rogue by , the Round-head , who had wont to eate and pray , for the propagation of the Brethren and sisters , of the sedicious faction , now is invoking of curses , upon the malignant party , ( the Achitophells as hee calls them of the Kings Counsell ) hee sneakes into the corners of the City , and after a licking of his lipps , a spitting , and a casting up his ugly eyes towards the place hee is not worthy to looke at , hee whispers a tale through his rotten Nose , of a great danger that is falling upon the Kingdome , And strange discoveries of imminent mischiefes , which had happened if by some providence towards the Brethren of the selected sedition , and for their sakes onely it had not beene prevented , And then at length he tells you , that if the Prince were but at Saint Jameses , there would be something done that Saint Hillary dares not repeate after him : This thin-jaw'd , illooking , hungry rascall , this betle-brow'd , hollow-ey'd , longnos'd , wide-mouth'd cur : This carrion that stincks worse then the corrupted River of Egypt , This Cockatrise that hath hatch't more Serpentine distempers , then all the grave wisdome of a pregnant Kingdome can pacifie , hath beene the sole cause of poore S. Hillaries Teares ; Who would thinke that this Ideot , this Fathomlesse-bellyed , Thingutted Snake should begin to hisse , and shew his sting , before the glorious splendor of those excellent worthies of our hope full Parliament , could have leasure to disperse it selfe upon this ●●ved Kingdome , that this Owle , this Buzzard , should be the instrument to bring clouds upon all their proceedings , and yet without doubt will be the first that will oppose , and curse them , when they shall please to declare that in the title of Puritane , they never entended , blewapron Preachers , Brownist , or Anabaptist : And yet this secure confident , impudent , malignant , twenty times dam'd Heretique dares attribute all their favour to himselfe , well may Saint Hillaries curse pursue him : Nay the unquenchable zeale of his next Prayer , prolong the nonsence and foolery thereof to so large a measure of time , that all the Roast-meate be burn't off the spit , before hee have done , the White-broth boyled dry , and the stew'd and back't meate scorch't to cinders ( which in his opinion is one of the greatest earthly curses that can befall him ) May his wife be catch't in the spirituall act of her next carnall copulation , that all the World may discover what yet they carry so closely , may the fervency of his hot zeale to the younger sisters burne his reines , and kindneyes to ashes , and in stead of an Hospitall let him be cast into the Sawpit hee so often defiled under pretence of edification , Let him be burried amongst the Dunghills , as not worthy to come neere the Church he so abused , where none may finde his grave but Dogs to pisse against it , may the ashes of his loath'd carcase be collected from the pestiferous urne , by Murderers and Mountebancks , to mix with their killing potions , And may no poysons ever hereafter be operative , but what is compounded with that infernall dust that as he liv'd to the confusion of all goodnesse , and vertue , so hee may after death be knowne or mentioned by no other notion , then some fateboading character , that brings with it the dreadfull summons of a woefull horrour to ensue , till which end be fallen upon him we shall never see day of good trading againe , but when it is accomplish't S. Hillary will make a Holiday , and in stead of his Teares will send you himnes and madrigalls for joy of the Roundheads confusion , and your more sull imployment . FINIS . 
A64204	----	A seasonable lecture, or, A most learned oration disburthened from Henry VValker, a most judicious ... iron monger : a late pamphleteere and now, too late or too soone, a double diligent preacher : as it might be delivered in Hatcham barne the thirtieth day of March last stylo novo / taken is short writing by Thorny Ailo ; and now printed in words at length and not in figures. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64204 of text R22403 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T510). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 15 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64204 Wing T510 ESTC R22403 12621151 ocm 12621151 64516 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64204) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 64516) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 251:E143, no 13) A seasonable lecture, or, A most learned oration disburthened from Henry VValker, a most judicious ... iron monger : a late pamphleteere and now, too late or too soone, a double diligent preacher : as it might be delivered in Hatcham barne the thirtieth day of March last stylo novo / taken is short writing by Thorny Ailo ; and now printed in words at length and not in figures. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 8 p. for F. Cowles, T. Bates, and T. Banks, Printed at London : 1642. Attributed to John Taylor, the water poet. Cf. Halkett and Laing. Illustrated t.p. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Walker, Henry, -- Ironmonger. Great Britain -- History -- Stuarts, 1603-1714. A64204 R22403 (Wing T510). civilwar no A seasonable lecture, or a most learned oration: disburthened from Henry VValker, a most judicious quondam iron-monger, a late pamphleteere Taylor, John 1642 2863 10 0 0 0 0 0 35 C The rate of 35 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-05 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-06 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2002-06 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-07 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Mr. Holk chief Agent in the Uprore A Seasonable Lecture , OR A most learned Oration : Disburthened from Henry VValker , a most judicious Quondam Iron-monger , a late Pamphleteere and now ( too late or too soone ) a double diligent Preacher . As it might be delivered in Hatcham Barne the thirtieth day of March last , Stylo Novo . Taken in short writing by Thorny Ailo ; and now printed in words at length , and not in figures . And Toby went forth , &c Printed at London for F. Cowles , T. Bates , and T. Banks . 1642. A Seasonable Lecture : OR A most learned Oration , Disburthened from Henry Walker , a most judicious Quondam Iron-monger , a late Pamphleteere , and now ( too late , or too soone ) a double d●ligent Preacher . Men and Women , Male or Female , Old and Young , Boyes and Girles , Lads and Lasses , Babes and Children , Omnium gatherum ; attend to my Text , as you shall find it written in the fifth Chapter of the Booke of Tobias , and part of the sixteenth verse . So they went forth both and departed , and the dog of the young man went with them . BEfore I enter upon my Text , Beloved , it is correspondent , meet , necessarie and convenient , that I do unveile , lay open , describe , discover , and manifest unto you , some reasons why , wherefore , upon what causes , grounds , or reasons , this Dog is mentioned in my Text . This portion that I shall administer unto you at this time , I have divided into six parts ; first , the time when this Dog lived ; secondly , whose Dog hee was ; thirdly , whither he went ; fourthly , what fashion'd or kind of Dog hee was ; fifthly , his demeanour and carriage ; and lastly , his name : Of all these in order , as 3 houres short time , and your long patience will permit . First , the time that this Dog lived , was about the death of Zenacherib , that blasphemous King of Assyria , as it is in the first of Tobit , and the one and twentieth verse , where is mention made , that after he was slaine , Sarchedonus his son raigned after him . It was then a wicked time , full of oppression , crueltie , and idolatrie : and at this time lived honest , old , hospitable Tobias , who being oppressed by tyranny , went into Media , and left ten Tallents of silver in safe custody with his kinsman Gabael , who dwelt in a citie called Rages in Media , as you shall find it in the first Chapter and fourteenth verse . Beloved , Toby was of the Tribe of Nepthalim , who were idolatrous , and offered to an Heifer they called Ball , Chap. 1. 5. in Galilee , and dwelt in a citie called Thisbe there , from whence hee was carried captive into Assyria by Salmanazer , as you shall have it in the first and second verses . Now it followeth that Toby , after much trouble went home againe , Chap. 2. and vers. 1. This was the time wherein this Dog lived . I will presently proceed , and go forward , or speake further , as your patience may permit . About this time old Tobias wasstricken blind , and in some want of his ten Tallents of silver , which hee left so far off in Media with Gabael , for which he determined to send his son ( young Tobias ) but he was in great care to have a Guide with him in so long a journey , and to help him to bring so great a charge as ten Tallents back with him ( which is , I le warrant you , 40 pounds of our money , or thereabouts ) and in the third Chapter and the nineteenth verse , the Angel Raphael came in the shape of a man , whom old Tobiab hired for a groat a day to go with his son out and home as it is in the 5 of Tobit and 14 verse . And thus much shall suffice for the time when the Dog lived . So they went forth both , and departed , and the dog of the young man went with them . Some simple observations might be gathered out of the first word of my Text , So ; but it is a matter of So , so , and therefore I will passe it over so ; yet ( Beloved ) as wee are men all made of one mold , one proportion and shape , our sences all alike , So it is not lawfull that one man should have any power or authoritie over another so as they have ; but every man ought to bee a rule and guide to himselfe , So that hee should not need to be ruled so , and guided so by other men ; for many men desire soveraigntie , superioritie , dignitie , promotion , advancement , preheminence , domination , sway ( or call it what you please ) but the truth is ( my Brethren ) that as we are all made alike , So wee should equally rule alike , and live in such a communitie , that all things should be in common , So that mine is thine , and thine is mine , bee it what it will , either wife , children , goods , or lands , &c. So that none shall command , nor any one obey : and so much shall suffice to be spoken of the word So. So they went forth . They , what They ? The word is not in the singular number , He or she went forth , but They , which argueth the pluralitic of They that went forth ; now who where this t●ey This they were no other than the Angell Raphael , who was hired for a groat a day by old Tobit ( as is before specified in the first leafe and seventeenth page ) and the other who was one of the same they ( without whom they could not have beene they ) was young Tobias the son of old Tobias , who having taken leave of his father , went to fetch the ten Tallents of silver from Gabael at Rages in Media . So they went forth and departed , and the dog of the young man went with them . So they went . It is to bee noted , that if they had not beene sent , they would not have went : Beloved , this is an instruction of reproofe to such as will do nothing but what they are bidden , nor go any whither except they be sent or commanded ; but those that are industrious will alwayes bee busie in some thing , though they have no thanks for their paines , it is no matter for that , So they went , they were sent in a lawfull errand , but that is no rule to us , that we should stay till wee be sent ; for when should I have been sent to preach ? I think never . Therefore as many zealous Trades-men before mee , went and thrust themselves into this holy Calling , without being sent ; so I having tried trade after trade , hard Iron and Steele , and soft Books and Ballads , have now fallen upon the only common trade of trades to preach , and indeed my zeale was so hot that I had no leasure to stay till I was sent forth : but I as they ( the rest of my brethren ) so went forth . So they went forth both . Both doth signifie two , twaine , a couple , a paire , a duplicitie , or the Plurall Number , They went forth both . The Dog is not yet specified , for then it might have been said , that three went forth both at once ; but they went forth and departed . This word and standing betwixt forth and departed , hath a mysticall sense , that a man may goe forth and not depart , that he may also depart and not goe forth , And that hee may both goe forth and depart , and likewise he may neither depart or goe forth . I went forth and departed from one calling to another , I went forth and departed from an Iron-monger to be a Book-seller , and I thank the whole Company of Stationers they took my kind intrusion into their Societie with more respect than it becomes mee to make boast of ; but lately I went forth and departed from that Function , and am Theologically qualified , and if that doe not thrive with me , I can returne to the Book-sellers trade againe , with as much leave and love as I had before . And thus much shall suffice , satisfie , or be enough , or sufficient for the explanation , manifestation , or declaration , for your edification of this part of my Text , So they went forth both and departed . And the dog of the young man went with them . This word And ( Beloved ) I have somewhat spoken of before , yet there is observation worthy to be noted , which is , that this ( And ) is never placed in the end , last word , or period of a speech ; and for your further instruction when you see this word ( And ) in the beginning of any speech or s●ntence you must expect that some other thing is mentioned afterwards , as it is in my Text , And the Dog of the young man went with them . The Dog ( my Brethren ) was the Dog of the young man , which by interpretation was the young mans dog , now the young man was young Tobias , and old Tobias being his father , ( out of question ) young Tobias was his son , and the lawfull owner and master of the Dog . There is not any mention made , that this Dog was commanded , or called to goe with his Master ; no sure , he was a loving and a willing Dog , to attend without compulsion : he was not like Coles dog , that would neither goe to Church , nor tarry at home , such a Cur would be hang'd Brethren . I doe not find at what time of the yeare it was when this Dog went , but it may be it was in the Dog-dayes , for then the dayes be long , the wayes faire , and most fit for a long journey : and the proverb saith , A dog hath a day , &c. This Dog was a Dog of extraordinary note , for he is mentioned for his diligent attendance againe in the eleventh Chapter and fourth verse , in these words , And the Dog followed them . In my Text it is said that the Dog went with them , and here it is said that the Dog followed them ; in both places there is much dutie exprest : In the first here is to be noted Toby , Tobies Dog , and Tobies Dogs taile : In the second , hee went with them when they went from home : and in the latter , he followed them at their returne back . It is said hee followed , hee went not saucily before his Master . I will not question what age this Dog was of , or whether hee was whelp'd in the Dogs dayes , or out of the Dogs dayes , or in the Cats nights ; for there is no Dogs nights , though the learned write of the beginning of the Dog-dayes , and of the ending of them also : but surely this was a wise Dog , not a wag wanton , or a foolish Puppie-dog , but he was a sage and a wise Dog , and my reason is , because he followed them , attended upon them , waited upon them , and did not stir out of the house till they went forth : I cannot say , or any way prove or find , that he was gelt or libb'd , as I may terme it , which made this Dog the more observant and dutifull ; but whether hee was or no , I am confident hee was a verie mannerly Dog , for he did not run before and yelp , and baule , Waw , waw , waw , no , he went forth with them mildly , gently , meekly ; he was not to look for abroad , or up and downe the house , or under , or upon the beds , or in some corner or hole of the house did this honest Dog obscure himselfe . This shewes he had no bad actions or crimes laid to his cha●ge , either by the Kitchin-maid , or the Chamber-maid : but this Dog was of the true kind , mannerly , good conditioned , and well-favoured , which serves for an exhortation or document for such unmannerly Serving men and Foot-boyes , that are so forward , that they will be in their roast meat before their Masters are out of their boyl'd . They are called their Masters followers , and ought to be so in all lawfull things ( s●ving their Mistresses . ) There are divers opinions amongst the Learned concerning this Dog ; Quabo the American in his third Book , fol. 900 of his Dogmatists ; and Nimpshag the Gymnosophist , both these doe agree , that this Dog was no Bob-tail'd Tyke , Trun●le-tail'd Tyke , Wee Tyke , or Muckle Tyke ( as you call Dogs in Scotland . ) Surely my opinion is , that hee was no Hound ( though all Dogs are called Hounds in Germany , and for one man to call another Hounds-foot , it is dangerous to be spoken . ) Tobias was no Hunter , therefore it cannot be gathered that it was a Buck-hound , Bloud-hound , Otterhound , Goose-hound , Grey-hound , Fox-hound , or any kind of H●und . Nor was his Master addicted to the game of Hawking or Ducking , so that it may be conjectured that the Dog was neither Land , or Water Spaniell ; neither was hee a C●nny-catching Tumbler , for no such Shark was to have entertainment under Tobias his ●oofe . Hee was not a ●oysting Hound , for Tobias the elder was old and blind , and his wife Anna was stricken in yeares , and therefore they had no delight to play with Whelps or Puppies ( my Brothers ) of that or the like Litter ; nor was it a Shogh from Ireland , or an Island Cur ; for those are Dogs of small delight to ancient people , and young Tobias was unmarried , therefore hee had no wife to play with a Dog . I cannot think this Dog to be a Mungrell , because he was not variable , but kind and constant to his Master . Nor was it a Mastiffe , a Bull dog , or a Bearedog , for such sports are for such as can see , for young people , for Beare-wards , Butchers , and such grave Athenians , and not for old blind folks . In summe , this Dog is manifestly and authentiquely supposed to be a Whippet , or prettie handsome house dog , such as will stay at home with their Masters , and goe abroad with their Masters , that are watchfull in the night , to bark and give warning , if the house be in danger of Theeves to break it open , or of any other noyse or perill , this Dog would give warning and bark before he bit . From which vertues of this Apocryphall Dog , many worthy instructions might be gleaned and gathered : but ( Beloved ) the present time being past , and the time to come cals us to dinner , I will trouble your patience no further , but leave these my former sayings to your over-ripe considerations . Vale . FINIS . 
A64206	----	A svvarme of sectaries, and schismatiques: wherein is discovered the strange preaching (or prating) of such as are by their trades coblers, tinkers, pedlers, weavers, sowgelders, and chymney-sweepers. By John Taylor. The cobler preaches, and his audience are as wise as Mosse was, when he caught his mare. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64206 of text36 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T514). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). 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A64206) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 111692) Images scanned from microfilm: (Thomason Tracts ; 28:E158[1]) A svvarme of sectaries, and schismatiques: wherein is discovered the strange preaching (or prating) of such as are by their trades coblers, tinkers, pedlers, weavers, sowgelders, and chymney-sweepers. By John Taylor. The cobler preaches, and his audience are as wise as Mosse was, when he caught his mare. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 21, [1] p. : ill. s.n.]Printed luckily, and may be read unhappily, betwixt hawke and buzzard, [London : 1641. In verse. Woodcut illus. on t.p. Place of publication from Wing. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. eng Great Britain -- History -- Charles I, 1625-1649 -- Sources -- Early works to 1800. A64206 36 (Wing T514). civilwar no A svvarme of sectaries, and schismatiques: wherein is discovered the strange preaching (or prating) of such as are by their trades coblers, Taylor, John 1641 5515 56 0 0 0 0 0 102 F The rate of 102 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the F category of texts with 100 or more defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-10 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A SVVARME OF SECTARIES , AND SCHISMATIQVES : Wherein is discovered the strange preaching ( or prating ) of such as are by their trades Coblers , Tinkers , Pedlers , Weavers , Sow-gelders , and Chymney-Sweepers . BY JOHN TAYLOR . The Cobler preaches , and his Audience are As wise as Mosse was , when he caught his Mare . The ods or difference betwixt the Knaves Puritan , and the Knave PURITAN . And first of the Knaves Puritan . HEE that resists the world , the flesh , and Fiend , And makes a conscience how his daies he spend Who hates excessive drinking , Dr●bs and Dice And ( in his heart ) hath God in highest price ; That lives conformable to Law , and State , Nor from the Truth will flie or separate : That will not sweare , or couzen , ●ogge or lie , But strives ( in Gods ●●are ) how to live and die : He that seekes thus to do the best he can , He is the Knaves abused Puritan . The Knave Puritan . HE whose best good , is only good to seeme , And see●ing holy , gets some false esteeme : Who makes Religion hide●●●ocrisie , And zeale to cover 〈…〉 lany ; Whose purity ( much 〈…〉 devils Ape ) Can shift himself into an Angels shape , And play the Rascall most devoutly trim , Not ●●●ing who sinkes , so himself may swim Hee 's the Knave Puritan , and only He , Makes the Knaves Puritan abus'd to be For ( in this life ) each man ●●● must take , Good men must suffer wrong for bad mens sake . To he that will . THou that this little Book in hand dost take , Of what thou read'st no false construction Be not prejudicate , to carp , or grudge , ( make And look thou understand before thou judge : My Muse is Musicall , and runs division , And holds all Critick Cock scombs in derision . The wretch , that true Religion doth despise , Is like the Atheist , that his God denies , And those that do contemne Religious Rites , Must look for portions with the hypocrites : And therefore with all Reverend due respects To Truth , I have displaid some peevish Sects ; Full of foule errors , poore , and bare of sence , Yet tending to some dangerous consequence . 'T is past a Butchers 〈…〉 ers reach , To pearch into a Pu 〈…〉 to preach ; A pot , a platter , dripping pan , or spit , Are for a Ladies Bed-chamber unfit : Rich Hangings , Curtaines , Carpets , garments gay Doe not become a Kitchin any way . A Preachers work is not to gelde a Sowe , Vnseemly 't is a Iudge should milke a Cowe A Cobler to a Pulpit should not mount , Nor can an Asse cast up a true account . A Clowne to sway a Scepter is too base , And Princes to turne Pedlers were disgrace : Yet all these , if they not misplaced be , Are necessary , each in their degree , If each within their limits be contain'd , Peace flourisheth , and concord is maintain'd . The good man Iob describes it plain and right , Where order is not , darknesse , and the light Are both alike , for blindefold Ignorance Of perfect wisdome hath no glimpse or glance . But such as 'gainst all order doe rebell , Let them not doe as did Achitophell , To set his house in order home went he , But what became of him , pray reade and see . Kinde Brethren , I doe wish you better fortune , And with tongue , pen , and heart , I you importune To have the patience but to heare , or reade What kinde of fellowes doe you thus misleade ; I doe inveigh here with impartiall pen Against no silenc'd , learned Clergy men , Nor any man that understands me right , But will approve these lines which here I write : For let base spight say what it dare or can , I know , what 's writ , offends no honest man . I write of some , that with tongue , pen and print Have writ and rail'd , as if the devill were in 't . I could name many of that precious crew , And for a taste I will recite a few . First , of one that was a Merchant of Pitchards , Black pots , Double Iugges , and Pipkins , and was forward to preach , not being called or sent . NEare to the lower end of Cheapside late , There dwelt one Knight that sold much brittle plate , As glasses , earthen dishes , pans and platters , Pots , pipkins , gallipots , and such like matters . This Knight the Brethren ( by appointment sent To Loving-land , ( an Isle ) in Suffolk went , And at a Village ( Summerlayten hight ) A Sermon there was preached by that Knight . His prayer extemp're done , he op'de the book , And Vnto us a Childe is borne , he took To be his Text , and handled it so gravely , That for it did in Yarmouth Gaole , the Knave lie . Knight had to aide him to negotiate , One Gault ( a Shoomaker ) . Ass-so●iate , Both which were quickly to promotion risen , Preferr'd from Yarmouth , unto Norw●ch prisen . From thence Knight was unto the Gatehouse broght Whence upon Baile , his liberty he sought , And was bail'd , but his baile and he both fled To Amsterdam , and there he published Strange Libels , full of mischiefe and debate , Which here were scatterd 'gainst the Church and State . Whereby he to the world did plaine reveale His mallapert , most saucie , purblinde zeale . Another sweet youth in a Basket . ONe Sidra●h Cave made Baskets late in Elie , A constant brother , rais'd up his maids belly : But 't was in Gandermonth , his wife lay in , His flesh rebell'd , and tempted him to sin ; And Cave's wife tooke the wrong most patiently , For which the Brethren prais'd her sanctity . A third Bird of the same Nest. ANother ( one Iohn Howgrave ) dwelt at Yarmouth ( Not hot , or cold , but with a meere lukewarmmouth ) From country , wife & houshold late he fled To Rotterdam , for 's Conscience as he sed ; At Iohn Burgaries house , he took his Inne , And woo'd his Hostesse to the Paphean sin . Burgaries wife by him with childe was got , That Howgrave fearing Rotterdam too hot , Fled back to Yarmouth , whence at first he came ; His fault was knowne , and he chid for the same : He said it was not he did that vile deed , But sin that dwelt in him that fault did breed ; And that the devill should more damnation win , For tempting Gods deare childe to such a sin . Another like that . OF young , and old , both sexes late , a crew were bound from England old , to Engl : new : And staying long at Yarmouth there together , Expecting Ships for passage , winde and weather , A Brother came to Howgraves wife , and kist her , And told her sad newes of a new falne sister , Falne ( quoth she ) from the Word ? I hope not that , And let her fall then , to no matter what : Ah no , shee 's fowly got with childe ( quoth he ) Now out upon her , pray by whom ( quoth she ) 'T was by a faithfull Brother he replide , Well , well , quoth she , we all have gone aside ; If 't were a Brothers , deed she could not shun it , But 'thad been naught , had one of th'wicked done it . A precious youth . ALso one Spilsbery rose up of late , ( Who doth , or did dwell over Aldersgate ) His office was to weigh Hay by the Trusse , ( Fit for the pallat of Bucephalus ) He in short time left his Hay-weighing trade , And afterwards he Irish Stockings made : He rebaptiz'd in Anabaptist fashion One Ea●on ( of the new found separation ) A zealous Button maker , grave and wise , And gave him orders , others to baptize ; Who was so apt to learne that in one day , Hee 'd do 't as well as Spilsbery weigh'd Hay . This pure Hay-lay man to the Bankside came , And likewise there baptiz'd an impure dame , A Basket-makers wife , known wondrous well . In Mosse his Alley he and she doth dwell . As good as the rest . AT Brentford dwels the widdow Constable , ( As wise as was the Dean of Dunstable ) Her husband dy'd , and she great hast did make , Our Church , and Churches doctrine to forsake ; Professing purity , chaste , undefil'd , Yet in a Gravell pit was got with childe , And now she bids Religion quite adiew , Turn'd from a Nonconformist , to a Jew . THese kind of Vermin swarm like Caterpillars And hold Conventicles in Barnes and Sellars , Some preach ( or prate ) in woods , in fields , in stables , In hollow trees , in tubs , on tops of tables , To the expence of many a tallow Tapor , They tosse the holy Scripture into Vapor : These are the Rabshekaes that raile so bitter , ( Like mungrill Whelpes of Hells infernall litter ) Against that Church that hath baptiz'd and bred them , And like a loving mother , nurst & fed them , With milk , with strong meats , with the bread of life , Like a true mother , and our Saviours wife . Here followeth the Relation of the most famous preaching Cobler Samuel Howe . OF lare a wondrous accident befell , A zealous Cobler did neare Morefields dwell : A holy Brother of the Separation , A sanctified member by Vocation . One that did place his principall delight , To set such as doe walke aside , upright , To mend bad Soales , and such as go astray , Discreetly to support , and underlay . This Reverend translating Brother ( HOW ) Puts both his hands unto the spirituall Plow ; And at the Nags head , neare to Coleman-streete , A most pure crew of Brethren there did meete , Where their devotion was so strong and ample , to turne a sinfull Taverne to a Temple , They banish'd Bacchus thence , and some smal space The drawers and the Bar-boy had some grace . There were above a hundred people there , With whom few understanders mingled were , Who came to heare the learned Cobler HOW , And how he preach'd , pray mark , I le tell you now : He did addresse himselfe in such a fashion As well befitted such a Congregation . He made some faces , with his hands erected , His eyes ( most whitest white ) to heaven directed : His hum , his stroking of his beard , his spitting , His postures , and impostures done most fitting . A long three quarters prayer being said , ( The good man knowing scarce for what he prai'd ) For where his speech lack'd either sence or weight , He made it up in measure and conceit . A worthy Brother gave the Text , and than The Cobler ( How ) his preachment strait began Extemp'ry without any meditation , But only by the Spirits revelation , He went through-stitch , now hither , & now thither , And tooke great paines to draw both ends together : For ( like a man inspir'd from Amsterdam ) He scorn'd Ne su●or ultra crepidam ; His Text he clouted , and his Sermon welted , His audience ( with devotion ) almost melted , His speech was neither studied , chew'd or champ'd , Or ruminated , but most neatly vamp'd . He ran beyond his latchet I assure ye , As nimble as a Fairie , or a Furie : He fell couragiously upon the Beast , And very daintily the Text did wrest ; His audience wondred what strange powerdid guide him , 'T is thought no man can do the like beside him . Yet some there were , whose censures were more quicker , Said Calveskin doctrin would hold out no liquor . 'Gainst Schooles , and learning he exclaim'd amain , Tongues , Science , Logick , Rhetorick , all are vain , And wisdome much unfitting for a Preacher , Because the Spirit is the only teacher . For Christ chose not the Rabines of the Jewes , No Doctors , Scribes , or Pharisees did chuse : The poore unlearned simple Fisherman , The poling , strict tole-gathering Publican , Tent-makers , and poore men of meane desart , Such as knew no degrees , or grounds of Art ; And God still being God ( as he was then ) Still gives his Spirit to unlearned men , Such as are Barbers , Mealmen , Brewers , Bakers , Religious Sowgelders , and Button-makers , Coopers , and Coblers , Tinkers , Pedlers , Weavers , And Chimney sweepers , by whose good endeavours The flock may fructifie , encrease , and breed In sanctity , that from them may proceed Whole multitudes of such a generation , As may hold learning in small estimation . The Latine is the language of the Beast , Of Romes great Beast , that doth the world molest ; Besides the Bishops speake it when they will , And all the Preachers babble Latine still ; Then since it is the Romish tongue , therefore Let us that doe not Antichrist adore , Leave it to Lawyers , Gentlemen , and such Whose studies in the Scriptures are not much . THis was the very summe , the root , and pith , The Coblers Lecture was full furnish'd with : And having said his All ( his prayer past ) He blest his Brethren , and came to his Laste . And in some points , the Coblers case is cleare , Christ chose not learned men when he was here , Not Masters , or expounders of the Law , ( For he knew all things , and all things foresaw ) For had he chose great men of wealth & arts , ( harts ) The Jewes ( with slanderous tongues and hardened Would then have said that what he did , or said Was done by their assistance , and their aide . He therefore chose poore men in meanes & tongue , That by weak means he might confound the strong . Yet this is certain , that at Pentecost , ( When on th' Apostles fell the holy Ghost ) Each of them spake , each severall language then , And were , and ne're shall be such learned men . Not all the Universities that are , Or were , or will be , with them may compare , For never Bishops , or Divines inferiours , But did acknowledge them for their superiours For sanctity , and working Miracles , For preaching sacred heavenly Oracles , For perfect knowledge , and integrity , For life and doctrines pure sincerity Th' Apostles had more tha then whole world had , Therefore the Cobler and his crew are mad . Objection . BUt some ( perhaps ) may answer me , that then No humane learning did inspire those men . And that the Spirits mighty operation Gave them the language of each severall Nation : Indeed true Christian Churches have confest , That long agone all miracles are ceast , We must not look for signes and wonders now , God plentifully doth his Word allow , And Tongues are not so easily discern'd , But men must study for them , to be learn'd . For when the Apostles all were gone and dead , By learned men the Gospell was or ' espread : And publish'd , and translated every where , Els● we had never had a Bible here . 'T was Schollers , and grave learned men that did Translate the Scriptures , which had still been hid From all Sects , that would Order undermine , Maintaining learning fits not a Divine . Therefore if they ( as they doe boast ) inherite So large a measure of th'unmeasur'd Spirit , Let them speak tongues , as then the Apostles spake , To work great wonders let them undertake ; Let them convert unto the Faith of Christ Whole nations ( whom the devil hath long entic'd . ) Let them the Moores , and barbarous Indians reach , And to Man-eating Canniballs goe preach : Let all those Brethren leave great Britaines Coast , And travaile where the devill is honour'd most . All you that are this Kingdomes pestilence , I wish you goe , and drive the devils thence ; And then my Muse and I , in Verse will tell , You and your Spirit have done wondrous well . A Short relation of some of the mighty Miracles done by the Apostles in the name and power of IESUS . THree thousand Soules , S. Peter in one day , By preaching , turn'd into the heavenly way ; He cur'd the Cripple , reade but Acts the third , Strooke dead two deep dissemblers with his word : Cur'de old AEneas , palsied , weak , and lame , These things Saint Peter did in Iesus name . Cur'd people with his shadow , and reviv'd Tabitha ( whom Death had of life depriv'd , And after ( fetter'd ) in close prison shut , An Angell him at liberty did put . Let me see one of you such rare things doe , And then I le say you have the Spirit too . Saint Paul gave Sergius Paulus heavenly light , Inchanting Elimas he reav'd of sight ; Did Lidia and the Jaylour both convert , And did the holy Ghost to twelve impart , And they straitwaies spake severall tongues most plain , And I believe ne're went to schoole again . If Napkins or handkerchiefes did but touch The corpes of Paul , the force of faith was such , That fiends did flie , and vexed soules had rest ; And from possest men devils were dispossest , And were but some of you well hang'd or whip'd , And that your shirts were from your corpses strip'd Or else your whip , or halter well would try , If ( by their touch ) they 'd make the devils flie , And leave possession , I dare lay my life There 's many a man would use them on his wife . But no such vertue doth from you ensue , For if there did , the devill would flie from you . Sweet Brethren of the Sect of Ignoramus , You that despise Te Deam and Laudamus , You that doe for our humane learning blame us , I wonder what Religion you would frame us ; You , without any learning , barbarous , rude , How dare you sacrilegiously intrude In Church-affaires , not being call'd or sent , And with your brazen faces impudent , To pick Gods secret Closset ope , and pry ( Most saucy ) In th' Almighties secrecy : Is 't not enough , you have his Will reveal'd , But you 'le needs know his secret will conceal'd , Break up the closset doore , and boldly get Into th'eternall , heavenly Cabinet . This is a theft contemptible most high , ( Transcendent Felony and Burglary ) And those proud thieves , at doomes day must not looke To be repriev'd , or saved by their booke . Some there have been , so malapertly mad , To guesse what talk Christ with the Doctors had : To know where Moses body buried lies , Wh●●● E●●●s garden was , or paradise , What God did doe Before the world the fram'd , And where hell stands ( appointed for the damn'd ) These curious Constables would search and peepe Through heaven , earth , sea , aire , and th' infernal deep , And for their ●ee ●●●●dies , paines , and care , They do conclude ( like Cox-combs ) as they are , In boasting know ledge they themselves advance , When all their skill is blinded ignorance● All you of this o●●e self-conceited Sect , That brag your selves to be the Lords Elect , Me thinkes it is too much for you or yours , To be God● Come●ers , not his Counsellours , Where have you that ●a●e reve●●tion found , The Ser●p●●●es close'st my ●teries to expound , Is it because you wit and learning want , Or will the truth dwell with the ignorant : Must the best preachers be unlearned fooles ? Then downe with Universities and Schooles , Your Libraries , your Halls , and Colledges , If ignorance surpasse your knowledges . The word of God was faithfully translated● By learned men , o●re spread and propagated● 'T was done by Schooliers , had it not been done ● Till you had done , we all had been undone . Y'er bid to search the Scriptures ● t is confest , You are not bid the Scriptures sence to wrest , To metamorphose , a●ter , wring , and wrie , Gods Word ●ecording to your ●●ahtasie , Ye' have leave to heare , or reade it , 't is not fit You , or your Ke●nell should interpret it ; For should we trust to your interpretation , We should have an unhandsome Congregation . When God declar'd his Law in dreadfull thunder Upon Mount Sinai , full of feare and wonder , 'T was present death to any that was there , That dar'd to touch the hill , or come too neere . When as the Ark was back return'd again , That seven monthes with the Philistines had lain , Then fifteen hundred Bethshemites were strooke Stark dead , for daring in the Ark to looke . When Vzzib , fearing that the Ark would full , Put to his hand , was straight strook dead withall , His office only was to drive the Cart , To touch the Arke was no part of his part . Since Vzzab for his good will to hold up The falling Ark , did taste dea●●es bitter cup , Since those that once to looke into it dar'd , Or those that touch● Mount Sinai were not spa●d , What can a Cobler look for , or a Knave , Who in the Church ( or Arke ) no function have ? Yet dares most saucily to preach and prate Against all orders , learning , Church and State . It is most lamentable that so far , Men so besorted or be devill'd are , That witlesse Rascals are held more divine Then ●rome , Ambrose , Gregorie , Augustine , Or all the ancient Fathers ( in a word ) Their learnings and their labours held absurd , By scabs , and varlets , of no worth or merit● But impious boasting of th'inspiring Spirit ; And had each one of you his right and due , Your spirit should be sharply whip'd from you , And when you felt the acutenesse of the lash , You would esteem your doctrine Balderdash . For in Saint Austins time , he made complaint , That eighty two Sects did the Church ●●● Since when , could I all Here si●● recount , The number ( trouble ) treble will amount ; Yet in that Fathers daies , that reverend man Did ne're heare of the Sect call'd Puritan , And sure the name of Puritan doth yeeld , A good mans nickname , and a bad mans shield , It is a cover for a cheating Knave , And 't is a jeare , a good man to deprave ; But both the good and bad , who are they be , They get no name of Poritan from me . I write of Separatists , and Schismatiques . Of shallow-pated , hare brain'd Heretiques , Such as doe make the Text a Lesbian rule , Whose faith or reason ( like the Horse or Mule ) Whom neither Law , or sence can curb or bridle , Who ne're are well imploy'd , nor never idle . A man may well compare those Separatists Unto the hot Gun-powder Romanists● For though they doe each other deadly hate , And one the other faine would ruinate , Yet both in their conclusions doe agree , The ruine of our Church and State to be . Their head's ( like Sampsons Foxes ) ●undned wide , But yet their tailes are fast together ty'd ; For both doe joyntly joyn , and both desire , With fire-brand zeale to set our Corison fire . To spoile our Government established , And ( through the world ) most famous published , They joyne together to consume and burne , And with confusion waste and overturne All ancient order , rule , and decency , And doctrine , from the prime antiquity . Thus both the grounds , & aimes of both those Sects Agree both ( in their tailes ) for their effects , How er'e their heads , East , West , South , North , may fever , Their ends are one , to seek our downfal ever . And of these two opposers ( I 'le bar swearing ) 'T is hard to know which barrell's better Herring : But ( of the twaine ) a man shall alwaies finde The Schismatique most obstinate inclin'd , And the more ignorant he is , the worse , Most stubborne , sence lesse , shallow in discourse , The Papist makes some shew of wit and sence , And seeming reason for his false pretence , And from him I may something gain , whereby My faith ( more firmly ) I may fortifie ; For though I doe not credit his dispute , Yet ( by disputing ) I may gaine some fru●● . But from the other side I dare presume , I shall have nothing else but froth and fume , With hasty answers , peevish , testy , snappish , Untoward , wayward , nonsence , fruitlesse , apish . These , none but these hold learning in disdain , And all for use divine , accurst , and vaine , All humane knowledge therefore they derest , Th'unlearn'd ( they say ) do know the Scriptures best : That humane learning breeds confusion , Most fit for AEgypt , Rome , and Babylon , And that the learned ones were , are , and shall Be ignorant of humane learning all . These with some other idle fancies mix'd , In their unfix'd opinions are all fix'd . But stay ( my Muse ) hold , whither wilt thou gad ? The earned Reader sure will thinke thee mad , Because thou art so tiring , tedious , long About these Screet ●howles with thy Cuckoes song : And though I seeme those Caitiffes to condemne , Yet idle babling makes me seeme like them . 'T is best therefore , no longer time to spend , But some few lines , and briefly make an end . A Zealous brother did a sister meete , And greeted sweetly in the open streete ; Thou holy woman , where hast been said he , I came from a baptizing Sir ( quoth she ) Pray whose childe was it ( he again requires ) She answerd , such a Taylors in Black-fryers , Hee 's one of us , the man reply'd again , Hee 's one ( quoth she ) that doth the truth maintain ; Quoth he , what might the childe baptized be ? Was it a Male SHE , or a Female HE ? I know not which , but 't is a Son she said , Nay then ( quoth he ) a wager may be laid ; It had some Scripture name , yes , so it had Said she , but my weak memorie's so bad I have forgot it , 't was a godly name , Though out of my remembrance be the same , 'T was one of the small Prophets verily , It was not Esay , nor yet Ieremie , Ezekiel , Daniel , nor good Obadias , And now I doe remember , 't was Golias . ANother sister ( as the Spirit rap't her ) Said to her Boy come sirrha , reade a Chapter : The Boy por'd on the Book , and fumbling sate , And had more minde to be at Ball or Gat ; His mother said , why dost not reade thou knave . The Boy ask'd her what Chapter she would have Thou paltry Imp ( quoth she ) canst thou finde none 'Twixt Genesis , and Revelation ; To learne thy duty , reade no more but this , Pauls nineteenth Chapter unto Genesis . ON London Bridge I lately did confer About some businesse with a Stationer : A young man came into the Shop , and sought Some holy Ballads , which he view'd and bought , And there he pray'd the Shop-keeper to looke The Epistles of Saint Ovid ( a fine-Book ) Upon Saint Peter , Paul , Iohn , Iude , or Iames , They will not put the Saint unto their names , But yet their ignorance impure , precise , A heathen Poets name can Canonize . ONe Mapleton , at Reding late did dwell : Because his flesh did gainst his minde rebell , He cut it off so close unto the stumpe , That he scarce left himselfe a pissing pump ; And hee 's one of those wise men , and 't were good That all the Tribe of his sweet Brotherhood Would ●●● his 〈…〉 Then they would 〈…〉 Then peace and rest our Church and State should gain ; All windmills , and vagaries of the brain Would from unquiet England banish'd be , And from disturbance we should soon be free . These , with the rest ( unknowne ) may be compar'd , Whose love to learning I have plain declar'd . To wofull passe our Church were quickly brought : If these companions had but what they sought , From Rome , from them , from all that wrong us thus Good Lord of Heaven And Earth deliver US AMEN . Postscript . IF Prelates have by fraud , or frailty My ●●shall not in Gall of Aspes ●●● , I 'le pray we may have better in their places , Whom Grace may guide , to shun the like disgraces ; Let trade s●en use their trades , let all men be Imploy'd in what is fitting their degree , And let the Pastors Urym , and his Thummim Be upright , and sincere ( as doth become him ) Let each man doe his best , himself t' amend , And all our troubles soone will have an END . 'T is madnesse , that a crew of brainlesse blocks Dares teach the learned what is Orthodoxe . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A64206e-420 Iob 10.22 2 Sam. 17 23. Notes for div A64206e-3710 Acts. 2.41 . Acts 5.1 . Acts 9.34 . Acts 9.40 . Acts 12.7 Acts 13. & 16. Acts 19. 16. Exod. 19. 1● . 1 Sam. 6. 19. 2 Sam. 6. 7. 
A64208	----	A tale in a tub, or, A tub lecture as it was delivered by my-heele Mendsoale and inspired Brownist and a most upright translator : in a meeting house neere Bedlam the one and twentieth of December, last 1641 / vvritten by J. T. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64208 of text R8979 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T515). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 11 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64208 Wing T515 ESTC R8979 12589759 ocm 12589759 63859 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64208) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 63859) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 250:E138, no 27) A tale in a tub, or, A tub lecture as it was delivered by my-heele Mendsoale and inspired Brownist and a most upright translator : in a meeting house neere Bedlam the one and twentieth of December, last 1641 / vvritten by J. T. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 6 p. [s.n.] London : 1641. J. T. is John Taylor. cf. BM. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Brownists. Great Britain -- Church history -- 17th century. A64208 R8979 (Wing T515). civilwar no A tale in a tub or, A tub lecture as it was delivered by my-heele Mendsoale, an inspired Brownist, and a most upright translator. In a meeti Taylor, John 1642 1850 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. 2002-01 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-01 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-03 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2002-03 Olivia Bottum Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-04 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A TALE In a TUB OR , A TUB LECTURE As it was delivered by My-beele Mendsoale , an Inspired Brownist , and a most upright Translator . In a meeting house neere Bedlam , the one and twentieth of Decembler , Last , 1641. VVritten by J.T. London , Printed 1641. A TVB Lecture BEloved Sisters , and my well infected Brethren , attend this Text , as you shall find it written in the first Chapter of Bell and the Dragon , the third Verse , as it followeth , Now the Babylonians had an Idoll they called Bell , and there were spent upon him every day , 12 gress measures of fine flower , and 40 sheepe , and 6 vessels of wine . I will first of all make a Division in the former part of my Text , I will leave the latter to the Last , and expound that as I shall VVax to an End . Now the Babilonians had an Idoll they called Bell . This sentence I shall divide into 4 parts , because your understandings my Beloved Brethren , consisteth chiefly in the Knowledge of Divisions , the particles are these . 1. The Time . 2. The Nation . 3. The Crime . 4. The Denomination . The Time . Now . The Nation , The Babylonians . The Crime , had an Idoll . The Denomination , called Bell . Now the Babylonians had an Idoll called Bell . First I will begin with the time , you must not conceive that it was 1 , 10. 100. 1000 yeares agoe , but Now , at this present , Now the Babylonians , &c. Beloved there is much evill and abomination to be picked out of these three letters Now , according to the explication of a deare deceased Brother of ours which you cald Anthony Now , Now , and cald he was from us too soone , yet the worst the wicked can say of him is , that hee dyed a dutifull death , and hee did but Come when he was called , but leaving our Brother as he hath left us , I will proceed with this word Now , Now the Babylonians , Now doth , plainely and significantly expound it self in these words , at this time , this present , this instant , and never were people more strangely misled by fals teaching and preaching then Now : you shall heare how many sentences or questions this word Now will answer me : When were golden Crosses , Images & pictures suffered to stand in defiance of the Brethren , nay even in the open streetes ? my Text doth answer Now : When were lying , fcurrilous pamphlets , which abuse the Brethren in prose and Verse , by the Name of Round-head , more in Fashion then Now . There was one who writ a Booke , intituled , A Medicine for the times , where assuredly he doth vindicate that pillar of Golden superstition , Cheap side Crosse , calling us thieves , who bare away the lead , because those limbes should not be agen set up by Idolatrous people , & when was this booke generally sold to draw the hearts of the people from us , but according as it is in my text , Now : but were he in our Conventicle that writ it , and he that printed it , I thinke it were convenient that all of us with one a-cord shold endeavour to hang them to death , and were they here , no fitter time then Now : but sithence they are not present , we will defer their execution till wee can confidently say we have them Now : but because I will not trespasse upon your patience much longer then my limited time , 6 houres , I will Now conclude this part of my Text , and proceed to the next , which is the Nation . This Nation were Babylonians , for so my Text telleth me , Now the Babylonians . Beloved , these Babylonians are a Nation that inhabited Babylon , and derive their names from Nimrods Tower , Babel , a Tower , which according to my Authors description , was 4 hundred thousand times higher then the Tower of London , bearing twice as many hundred thousand piece of Ordnance , for it was the intention of that proud Nimrod , to shoot downe heaven : amongst this Nation lived that grand enemy to our sect , The Whore of Babylon , a most fathomlesse Harlot , and corrupted every man that had any Part in Babel ( the more fooles they ) this Nimrod was the first that ever taught Idolatry , for ( as I have bin told ) you know I cannot read my selfe , before ever the Art of carving or painting was , hee taught the people to adore the fire , which expressed his hot zeale in Idolatry , it was onely their ignorance in arts , that kept them from setting up such a Crosse , as is in Cheap-side : not long after Nimrod succeeded King Astiages : after his decease , Cyrus of Persia received his Kingdome , as you shall read in the first Verse of this Chapter , and according to my Text is living at this present , for , Now the Babylonians had an Idoll , Called Bell. And thus much shall suffice to have bin spoken for the second part of my Text , which is the Nation , Babilonians , now the Babilonians , I will now proceed unto the third , which is their crime , their Idolatry , their Image worship the Divell by this time had instructed them in the Art of making Idols , for so my Text saith , Now the Babylonians had an Idoll . This Idol was made of Brasse without and clay within , a brazen face , and an earthen heart , fil'd with corruption and fraught with abhomination . This word Idoll properly derives it selfe from Idle , which in signification , my attentive Brethren , is sloth , Iazinesse , they wold imploy their times in nothing but making Images . I le warrant you in those dayes a Journeyman Image-Maker might get his halfe crowne a day , doe you but censure then , my deare Assembly , how they flourished in their wickednesse , but , since they had nothing else to doe but to set up Idols , it shall become us to make it the busines of our whole lives to pull them downe : but take this caution with you , when you next attempt the holy destruction of that nest of Idols , Cheap-side Crosse , be not too violent , least you suffer as our Brother did , yet had hee past the Pikes , he had bin living to this day . This Idoll in my Text , was Brasse without , and earth within , a cheape Idoll to those in Cheap-side , for they are Gold without , and lead within . Beloved , Lead was not made to forme Idols with , but for the good of mankind , which is to make Bullets , and Tyle Houses ; your onely way to confound this aforesaid Cheap-side Crosse , is to pull downe to the ground , that old Idoll Charin , and beat downe this with the stones , that wee may have no more cause to say , Now the Babylonians had an I doll called Bell . I am now come to the Denomination of this Idoll , they cald him Bell , for so saith the Text . Now the Babilonians had an Idol . This notorious Babe of Idolatry , who hath to name , Bell , hath his Name derived from that generall enemy to mankind Belze-bub , one whom we all know to bee the Devill ; this Bell was made of brasse , & that is the only reason ( my beloved ) that our Bels be held so much in contempt amongst the Brethren . This Bell according to the text had spent upon him every 10 great Measures of fine Flower , 40 Sheepe , and 6 Vessels of wine : now who devoured this Flower ? Bell , who consumed the 40 Sheepe , but Bell , who dranke the wine , so that there was a generall exaction laid upon each Pint and Quart , but Bell , or A-bell . I have observed that there was never any good in that word where Bell had a share in 't what was Adam Bell , but a hunter , so was Nimrod , who built that ambitious Tower Babel ; I have heard with mine owne eares , those blads which call themselvs Cavaleroes call a Crosse Bard sword Troy Bel. what is a Bel-man but a night walker ( as I apprehend him ) nay doe not your superstitious papists curse the Bretheren with Bell Booke and Candell ; was not that Cardinall an arch Heretick who had to name Bell Armine ; doe not those persecuting papists in Ireland ReBel , yes double and Tre-Bel ; and I hope there will be such an Equall uniformity amongst us who are the select Brethren that no particular man may be sayd to bare the Bel : nor shall any man hereafter be counted a man the sounder for being Bel-Metle , for Bel was Brasse without and Clay within . Now the Babilonians had an Idol called Bell , and there was spent upon him every day 12 measures of fine flower , and 40 sheepe and 6 Vessels of wine , beloved had I been to serve Bell with this banquet I would have made Bels eares ring noone ere he should have had it ; now who doe you conceive should worship this Bell ? noe worse man then Cyrus the King , as you shall find it in the fourth verse ; And Syrus worshipped it and went daily to adore it . And it is thought ( by some Authors ) that this Syrus first made this Bel , if hee did , hee was but a Bel founder ; or at least the first that ever was a Bel-founder . I shall love a Bel-founder the worse for it all dayes of my life ; I could proceed further and would but for feare of the law , who if I should be too zealous , would censure this Lecture to be a Libell , therefore , this shall suffice at this time , next meeting shall perfect the worke begun : repaire to your houses and consider of these sayings , Farewell . FINIS . 
A64213	----	Tailors travels from London to the Isle of VVight, vvith his returne, and occasion of his iourney Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64213 of text R10069 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T520). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 23 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 7 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64213 Wing T520 ESTC R10069 11815303 ocm 11815303 49531 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64213) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 49531) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 552:3) Tailors travels from London to the Isle of VVight, vvith his returne, and occasion of his iourney Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 5-14 p. Printed at the Authors charge ..., [London] : 1648. In verse. Caption titlr. Attributed to John Taylor. cf. BM. Reproduction of original in Cambridge University Library. eng Isle of Wight (England) -- Description and travel -- Early works to 1800. A64213 R10069 (Wing T520). civilwar no Tailors travels, from London, to the Isle of VVight: vvith his returne, and occasion of his iourney. ... Taylor, John 1648 4193 4 0 0 0 0 0 10 C The rate of 10 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-07 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-07 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion TAILORS TRAVELS , from LONDON , TO THE ISLE of WIGHT : VVith his Returne , and occasion of his Iourney . THE occasion why I undertooke this Insulary Journey or Voyage from one Island to another , was for three Respects : First , I had a great importunate desire to see my Gracious Soveraigne afflicted Lord and Master : Secondly , I travelled with an intent to get some Silver in this Iron Age , ( for pleasure and profit should be the reward of honest and harmelesse paines taking . ) Before I began this high and mighty perambulation , I did put forth many Bills to divers and sundry friends , to pay me some small sums of that pretious thing called Money , at my returne ; the purport , purpose , pretence , signification , meaning , or marrow-bone of the Bill , were these following words . When John Taylor hath beene from London to the Isle of Wight , and returned againe , and that at his returne , he doe give or cause to be given to me , a Booke or Pamphlet of true newes and relations of Passages at the Island , and to and fro in his Iourney ; I doe promise to give to him or his assignes , the summe of what I please in Lawfull money of England , provided that the sayd summe be not under 6 pence . NOW at my returne , if all my Customers doe pay me according to the Bill then am I exceedingly deceived ; but if none of them doe pay me , then I am meerely couzened ; and now begins the Story . Printed at the Authors Charge , and are no where to be sold , 1648. THis Pamphlet is not stuft with Triviall Bables , Or vaine prodigious undisgested fables : This is no Mercury ( with scoffs , and jeeres ) To raise debate , and set us by the eares , As if poore England had not yet endur'd Sufficient plagues , but she must be assur'd , By New , New , Newes , of New frights , and new foes , And future mischiefes worse then present woes : I bring no tidings of such consequence , To breed Feares , Jealousies , or give offence , Nor am I fraught with wonders , wounds , and scarres , Or any thing relating to the Warres : It is so writ that no man can accuse Me of detraction , scandall , or abuse ; My lines are all from feare and horror free , And here and there as true as true may be : Yea much more true , I may be bound to sweare Then many Bookes have beene this twice foure yeare , Or any Mercury writ heretofore , Or old Currantoes , in the daies of Yore . Then stroke your heards , or wipe your mouthes ( at least , ) And read , and heare what I have here exprest . THe next succeeding mouth unto September , October was this yeare . ( as I remember ) Without the charge of Proxcy or Atturney , My selfe in proper Person tooke this journey : Two Gentlewomen ( by two Maides attended ) Accompanied me till my travells ended . We tooke one Coach , two Coach-men , and foure horses ; And merrily from London made our courses : We wheel'd the top of th'heavy hill , call'd Holborne , ( Vp which hath been full many a sinfull soule borne , ) And so along we jolted past Saint Gileses , Which place from Brainford , six ( or neere ) seven miles is . To Stanes that night at five a clock we coasted , Where ( at the * Bush ) we had bak'd , boyl'd , and roasted . Bright Sols illustrious Rayes , the day adorning , We past Bagshot and Bawwaw , Friday morning ; That night we lodg'd at the White Hart at Al●on , And had good meate , a table with a salt on : Next morne w' arose , with blushing cheek'd † Aurora ; The wayes were faire but not so faire as Flora : For * Flora was a Goddesse , and a woman , And ( like the high wayes ) was to all men Common : Our Horses , with the Coach , which we went into , Did hurry us amaine through thick and thine to With fiery speede , the foaming bits they champt on , And brought us to the Dolphin at Southampton . There found I friendship more then I expected Or did deserve , so much to be respected : The Gentlewomen both their husbands met there , The Moone was mounted , and the Sun was set there ; And after two houres time , or some such matter We turn'd our Coach t' a boat , and swam by water : My entertainement was good wine and welcome , The cups most kindly unto me pell well come ; Southamptons Governour , much love did show me , He was my old acquaintance , and did know me : He gave me's passe , to passe me to the Island And I tooke boate , and left him on the dry Land ; It was as bright a mooneshine night , I say As ever man saw in a Summers day ; Thus with a fore winde , and faire Cintha's light , In foure houres time we came to the Isle of Wight : We past Cowes Castle , and into the Towne went , Where some short time we wandring up and downe went ; Thus being favow'd by men , windes and weathers , At Cowes I landed , and lodg'd at the Feathers : The Isle of Wight contain'd a Wight of Waigh then , And on that Wight of Waight ; I came to wait then . Long live he blest internall , and externall . And blest be England in his love paternall , To guide and guard him , grace and power supernall , Defend him from all trecherous traps infernall : In imitation of him let us learne all To live so heer that we may live eternall : And thou , whose mercy were can be exhausted , In thy compassion thinke on England wasted : The sword of wrath that 's drawne is justly thine , The Sinnes that made thee draw it forth are mine : Jonas the storme did to himselfe apply ; Let each say so now , each man say t is I. And now my story briefely I le compose , From harsh hard rugged rime , to smooth fac'd prose . And thus have I truly , and merrily told the passages and Relations , how I came to the Royall captiving Isle of Wight . Now it followes requisitely , that I certifie you of some Occurrences , and accidents there . It is to be noted , that the Gentlemen with their wives , having such faire , and speedy passage from Southampton to the Island , that at the Towne called Cowes they had two horses , which they left with their maides with me 'till the morning , for me to bring by land to Newport where His Majesty was : they with their wives tooke a small Boat about midnight , having the tide with them to carry them that Saturday night ( or neare Sunday ) 3 miles up by water to Newport : so they left me . All the fagge end of the Saturday night , and part of Sunday morning , I had the happinesse to be Iohn amongst the Maides , for we honestly lay in 2 beds in one chamber , but I would have no man so mad to imagine that we lay all three both together . Sunday the 22. of October we arose with the Sun , betweene the houres of the careles number of 6 and 7 ( he is carelesse that sets all at 6 and 7 ) we quickly made our selves as fine as could be , in hope to see fine folkes , and fine things at Court , and so we mounted our Polfreys : ( the Hostler of the Princes Armes at Cowes , being hired to be our Guide ) who did ride before one Maid , and my selfe before the other , and so ( by consequence ) both the Maides were behinde us . The Hostler that should have guided me , guided himselfe , Riding before me , and leaving me behinde him sometimes a flight shoot or two ; for he had many advantages of me ; first he had the stronger horse , secondly he had the lighter carriage ( for the Maide behinde him was like Lent , light , leane , and lank ) but my Female Male was like Shrove-Tuesday , fat , fair , plump , well fed , and weighty ; thirdly he had two spurres , and a switch , of all which necessaries I was destitute , and without switch or spurre my horse would not goe . And now a dirty tale I meane to tell : I le show you what befell , and how I fell . My ungodly Guide being much before me , within : mile of Newport , I came to a boggy-quagmire miry , rotten , filthy , dirty , slow , through , over , or into which I must passe ; I not knowing the way , called alowd to the Guide to come back to direct me , which he did ; but I having no switch or spurre ( for correction ) the horse would obey no direction ; so that at last the Guide said there was no danger , but that I might ride through it anywhere . Then I with kicking set my heeles to horse , Advent'ring to ride through it force perforce : My Guides misguiding made me much the bolder The horse fell in , quite plung'd up to the shoulder . I forward fell , and backward fell the Maid , Man , Maide , and horse in curious pickle laid , And never Eare did heare , or Eye did see Such a pair-Royall faire Triplicity . The danger past , we each on other gaping ; Not angry , or well pleas'd , we fell to scraping : Sometimes we fretted , and our lips did bite , And somtimes ( at our selves ) we laught out right . I scrapt my selfe : the Maide , the Hostler drest . The Horse lookt on , uncurried like a beast . Thus we to Newport came in gay attire , Embredred over all with dirt and mire : And thus from Cowes we tumbled in the slowes , Man , Maide , and horse , moil'd like three beastly sowes : 'T was my base guide that put me in this trim , For which abuse I le have about with him : The Divell misleades us all , we plainely see , And that same stinking Hostler misled me . For which : First in a Knaves skinne I will wrap him hot , Which he shall alwaies weare until it rot : My prayer for him shall be this execration , Let him be nasty in his occupation : Oh let kis provender be ever musty , His hay be most distastfull , foule , and dusty : His Pease , and Beanes , and Oates most odious fusty , And 's curry combe ( for want of use ) be rusty : Thus musty , dusty , fusty , rusty , crusty , Shall plague the Knave that was to me untrusty . In Vrine , and Beasts Ordure let him toile : Soile be his trade , yet nere be Lord o th' soile . Let boot haling be most part of his living : Let Guests be sparing to him in their giving : Vnder his Rack let him in tortures lye , And ( in his Manger ) let him stinke and dye : And let the preaching Cobler at Blackwall Be 3 houres prating at his funerall : Let him be grav'd in his owne Element : Let litter , and horse dung be his monument . But leaving risf rasf rime , I le turne my stile , To some more serious businesse in the Isle . Thus having overpast this soule disaster , I went to see my suffring Soveraigne Master : Which sight to me was all my Earthly blisse , He gave me straight his Royall hand to kisse , Which grac'd me much in all the publique sights Of Commons , Gentles , and brave Lords and Knights . His Majesty , with an Heroick and unconquered patience , conquers his unmatchable afflictions , and with Christian constancy , expects a happy deliverance out of all his troubles . His greatest griefe is the calamity of his people , and Kingdomes , and His chiefest endevours ( on earth ) is to settle them in Peace and happinesse ; for which end he is twice every day ( with his meniall servants ) upon his knees , in publique prayers to his God , besides his frequent , and pious cogitations , and ejaculations ; and it is not to be doubted but the prayers , and humble Petitions of His Majesty ( with those of His loyall Subjects ) do ascend to the Throne of Grace , from whence ( by the Almightyes mercy ) strong and firme faith assures him of Peace , pardon , and the fruition of future happinesse . And for infallible Testimonies against all Ignorant , malicious , detracting , mis-believing Heretiques , Schismatiques , and Sectaries to assure those Buzards of incredulity , that the Gracious , favourable , and preserving hand of God is with His Majesty , whereby he hath been a blessed instrument , ( not onely in his former curing the griefe , or disease called the Evill ) but since he came into this Island , He hath cured many , of whom so cured , there are 6 or 7 most remarkable , which I will relate as followeth . 1. At a Towne called Winburne , ( or Wimborne ) in Dorcetshire , there dwels an * Ancient woman , the Wife to a Clothier ( whose name I could not know by enquiry ; ) this Woman had a long time been so lame that she could not goe , and she hearing that the King was lodg'd in Carisbrook Castle in the Isle of Wight , she was perswaded in her minde that His Majesty could cure her , in which beliefe she made towards the Island , and with horse or Cart , or both , or otherwaies , she was brought to Hurst Castle in Hampshire by land , from whence she was carried into a Boat in mens armes , which Boat brought her to Newport , from whence she was carried a mile to Carisbrook , where His Majesty did touch her , and her lamenesse ceased in three dayes space , so that with thankes to God , and prayers for the King , she departed from the Island , and went home 20. miles on foot . This was before the Treaty began , much about the midst of August last . 2. Mistresse Elizabeth Steevens of Durley in Hampshire , came from her borne to Winchester , and from thence to the Island to His Majesty to be cured of the evill , whereof she had been blinde of one Eye 16. daies and could not open her Eye by any meanes , and after the King had touched her , her Eye opened and she saw immediatly , with a clear and perfect sight . This was about the seventh of October . 3. Elizabeth Gage of Southampton ( being 3 yeares of age ) was exceeding lame , and in great paine , she came to his Majesty , and he touched her , whereby ( through Gods blessing ) she was presently cured . 4. Ioane Mathewes , aged 15. yeares , a Braziers Daughter one William Mathewes , dwelling in Newport in the Isle of Wight , she had been long time painefully lame , and had been at the Bathe , and used many medicines in vaine ; she came to the King on Thursday the 19. of October , He toucht her , and she had present ease , and every day shee goes better then other : myselfe saw her and spake with her , and I left her able to go reasonable well . 5. A Souldier in Calshot Castle in Hampshire , had 2. sore issues in his thighes , to which he did frequently apply medicines which eased him , but cured him not : This man went to the Island to His Majesty , who did touch him , and he did after that use his former medicines , which were wont to give him ease , but then the said application did most grievously vex and torment him ; so that he was perswaded to forbeare to use the said Oyles , Emplasters , and Unguents , and then he was suddenly cured . 6. Mistresse Elizabeth Paine of Bristell was blinde , and such a Rhewmatick defluxion did dayly fall from her eyes , which did wet two or three large hancherchiefes every day ; she came to the King on Sunday last , the 5. of this November , His Majesty did touch her eyes , the Rhewme ceased ; so that she went away presently with a cleere and perfect sight ; and two houres after she came to the King againe , and gave him thanks upon her knees ; His Majesty bade her give thanks to God ; so she with giving God praise , and prayers for the King , went from the Island to Bristoll with exceeding joy for her recovery . 7. Margaret Hezden , aged 73. yeares , dwelling in Newport in Chayne lane , was not able to stir but as she was lifted from bed to chaire , and from chaire to bed , touched by His Majesty , and cured , so that with one crutch she did goe about her house , and drew 5 or 6. pots of Ale for me , and my company . These things ( me thinkes ) should move the mindes of some unmannerly Levellers to esteeme his Majesty as one that is not to be ranked or filed with common men . Concerning any Newes of business at the Treaty , there is so much made of it at London , that there is little ( or none at all ) at the Court ; this is certaine , that from the 21. of October , till the first of November , ( being 11. dayes ) there was no debating or treating at all : for Sir Peter Killegr●● was all that time from the Island to the Parliament at Westminster , and till his returne with Orders and Directions , al● things were silent , however the London Mercuries , and Moderate Occurrances did not faile to set forth newes ( o● their owne making ) every weeke . All that I can relate , is , that Sir Peter came to the King on Tuesday night , the last of October , and the next day ( being the quondam All Saints ) His Majesty , with the Commissioners began to Treate , where it was agreed that the Presbyterian Governement in the Church should continue three yeares , that the Booke of Common Prayer should be discontinued , and not used publickly : That no Masse should be tollerated to be sayd in the Kingdomes of England and Ireland , or in the Principallity of Wales : These matters of high consequence being concluded and agreed , there is great hope of speedy restauration of His Majesty to His just Rights , and a blessed peace for the Church , people , and Kingdomes . I came from the Island on Tuesday the 7. of November , and landed at a place called Hell Head , from thence I came 3 miles to Titchfield , on Wednesday I came 4 miles to Wickham , Thursday to Warnford , ( 7. miles ) Fryday I footed it 17. miles to Alton , and to Farnham , Saturday to Guilford , and to Cobham 18. miles , and Sunday 6 miles to Kingston , and on Munday the 13. of November , I came to London 10. Miles . And as I have written , merrily , truely , and impartially ; so I must conclude accordingly without flattery , concerning thu Governour of the Isle of Wight , Colonel Hammand : the plaine truth is , that my selfe ( with many others ) did hate him so much , that he was very seldome or never prayed for ; the reasons and motives which possest most men with this mistaking and misapplyed inveterate mallice , was upon the flying , lying reports , that the Governour had behaved himself most coursly ridged , and barbarously unrespective to His Majesty : The false weekely Pamphlets and Pamphleteers ( being inspired by their Father the Divell ) were not ashamed to publish in print , that the Governour had proceeded so far it , incivility , as to immure or wall His Majesty in a small close roome , under many bolts , bars , grates , locks and keyes , and debarred Him the comforts of His soule , and of the seociety of men ; and further it was often printed ( by severall lying Villaines ) that the sayd Governour Hammond , did strike the King on the face , and gave Him a black eye : These reports being invented by the Devills Imps ( the firebrands of contention ) printed and published by needy , greedy Knaves and Varlets , and believed by too many Fooles and foolish Gotehamists ( amongst which number , I with much simplicity was one ; ) and as by Oath and duty I am bound to serve , love , and honour my Soveraigne Lord and Master ; so ( on the contrary ) my selfe with all true and Loyall Subjects had no cause to be well affected to any man that should dare to affront His Majesty with such transcended base indignities . But to give the world satisfaction of the truth ; it is certaine that all those aspersions and rumours against the Governour , are most odious , scandalous , and malicious lies ; for ( according to the trust reposed in him ) he hath alwayes carried him selfe with such deportment , and humblenesse of dutifull service to His Majesty , that he hath gained much love and favour from his Soveraigne , and such good regard from all knowing men , as belongs to a Gentleman of his place and Quallity . And therefore Reader understand and note , Who ever sayes I lye , he lies in 's throate . Blest Englands joy ( the King ) will come er'e long . Praise God , make Bonefires , swing the Bells , ding dong . And let him never beare a Christians name , Whose trade and pleasure is in blood and slame Of his deare Countrey , and rip , rend , and teare His Mothers Womb , that such a brat did beare . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A64213e-130 I set forth on Thursday the 19. of Octob. We hired the Southamton coach which comes weekly to the Rose neer Holborn Bridge . * The signe of the Bush . † The dawning . * Flora was a beautifull Courtezan in Rome , who gat great treasure by the prostitution of her body , which Wealth she gave to the Common Treasury , for which they did esteeme her a Goddes , and the Goddes of Flowers , and built a Temple to her . * For testimony of the truth of this there is one Iohn Newbery , a Clothworker , who dwels in Newport in the streete called Castle Hole , this man did come over the water with her , and did see her lame , and cured . 
A64215	----	Truth's triumph: or, Old miracles newly revived in the gracious preservation of our soveraigne Lord the King By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64215 of text R222144 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T523). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 13 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64215 Wing T523 ESTC R222144 99833371 99833371 37847 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64215) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 37847) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 2066:8) Truth's triumph: or, Old miracles newly revived in the gracious preservation of our soveraigne Lord the King By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 8 p. by H. Hall] , [Oxford : Printed in the yeare M.DC.XLIII. [1643] In verse. Printer's name from Madan. Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library. eng Charles -- I, -- King of England, 1600-1649 -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. A64215 R222144 (Wing T523). civilwar no Truth's triumph: or, Old miracles newly revived in the gracious preservation of our soveraigne Lord the King. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John 1643 1957 2 0 0 0 0 0 10 C The rate of 10 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-12 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-01 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2002-01 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion TRVTH' 's TRIUMPH : OR , Old Miracles newly revived in the Gracious preservation of our Soveraigne Lord the KING . By IOHN TAYLOR . — Miranda ●anunt , sed vix credenda Poëtae . Printed in the Yeare M.DC.XLIII . TRVTH' 's TRIVMPH , OR , Old Miracles newly revived in the Gracious Preservation of our Soveraigne Lord the KING . GOds glorious , gracious Volume doth relate How ( out of Nothing ) He did All Create : Made man , True , Holy , Iust , who ( fowlely ) fell And God Redeem'd him from sin , death , and hell : His Miracles of Judgment , fearefull , rare , His Miracles of Mercy Mighty are ; Which makes my Muse this Miracle to Sing How graciously God hath preserv'd my King . The Ravens fed Elias in his need , And Hungry Daniel , Abacuck did feed , The Meale and Oyle , did every day encrease In Rich Aboundance , till the Dearth did cease , King David , oftentimes to flee was forc'd , And ( like a Partridge or'e the Mountaines Cours'd , Th' Almighty still being their Great defence Sav'de them from Famine , Sword , and Pestilence , And as these Miracles long Since were done , Yet God hath Lately shewed a Gracious one , Which proves my King th' Adopted son of God , Else he had Ruin'd beene , or downe beene Trod . For when Rebellion had the Land or'espread , And that the foot durst kicke against the Head ; When each Fox had a Hole , each Bird a Nest And He no place his Royall Head to Rest ; Depriv'd of Houses , Castles , Townes and Fortes , Of Shipping , Ammunition , Havens , and Portes , Of Powder , Shot , Guns , Pikes , onely one Sword Was Left him , which is Gods Eternall Word ; Besides all this , his Magazins , his Tower , His Meanes , Rents , Customes , Ravish'd from his power , All his Revenues stopp'd , his Aides all staid , His Freinds , and faithfull Subjects pris'ners laid , Or Banish'd , or undone , both they and theirs Whil'st Povertie's their Portions , and their Heires . His Antient Servants , ( like poore sheepe forlorne ) Despis'd and Look'd on with the Eyes of Scorne , Because they could not , or would not Maintaine Disloyall warre against their Soveraigne . Nay more , His Gracious Queene ( that Royall shee ) Was for Her safety forc'd perforce to flee ; What Wickednesse Could worse be Hatched then When He , that is the onely man of men , And She , the Woman for Her Vertues wonderd , So woefully should be divorc'd and sunderd . He whose Integritie's Admir'd , Approv'd , She who deserves of all to be belov'de , A Blessed fruitfull Mother , and Thereby Her issue may the whole world dignify . He , should my pen presume his praise to write 'T were like a Taper to give Phoebus Light ; She , that in Princely vertues doth excell , In whom the Goddesses and Graces Dwell , In heart Heroicke , like the Thund'rers Bride , Like Citherea , She is Beautifide , Magnanimous , Like Ioves Brave Braine-Borne Girle In State and Minde of Maiesty the pearle . This Matchles Paire , ( with whom none may compare ) By Rude , unruly Rebels sundred were . Their onely faults are , they are both too good For such as have their Goodnes thus withstood . A Milde ●osias will not serve their Turne , But Gracelesse they against his Mildnesse Spurne : A Nero , or an Heliogabalus Were fitter far , for Such as wrong'd him thus . His Blessed Raigne ( from Cruelty exempt ) Requited with disloyall Curst Contempt , Traduc'd in Pulpits , and in printed Lies , Abus'd with needlesse feares , and Jealousies ; Tax'd , he would beare an Arbitrary sway , And turne Religion to the Romish way : In Conventicles , Sermons , Drinking , Walking , Or in discourse , Treason was safest talking . Besides all this ( to all true Subjects Griefe ) His never Broken Word gain'd no Beliefe , His Vowes , and Protestations , firme and Just ( Which I account High Treason to distrust ) All unbeleev'd , Misconstred , wrongly wreasted By false Surmise of men , Disloyall Breasted . No faith was Left'em , doubtfull diffidence , Had Banish'd all Beleife , and confidence ; God and the King , were both us'd in one fashion , The Creed was thrust out of the Congregation : The devill amongst them did such Whimseyes fling , They neither would beleeve God , or the King . For if they thought there were a God indeed , They then would know damnation is decreed In Scripture , for Resisting powers ordayn'd By God , which should be honour'd and maintain'd . It is a Maxime , hath beene alwaies held , The Protestant Religion ne're Rebell'd : Their Doctrine teaches humbly to obey , And , Whatsoever Seperatists can say , It plaine Appeares , they are not Protestants That ( 'gainst their King ) uncivill Warres Advance . Thus did new Englands Sects Strive Impiously , To turne old England to an Anarchy . Thus was my Gracious Leige of all bereft , And ( in the world's opinion ) little left ; Then was he Rich in God , Then had he most , Th' Almighty Rais'd for him a mighty Hoste , Brave Armes , and Armies , in his Cause to fight , And set faithes true Defender in his Right . With Hope , and Confidence hee 's armed still , And humbly waites upon his makers will : With thefe he hath oppos'd false fortunes frownes , With these he hath Recover'd Strength and Townes , With these he hath got mony ( warres strong nerves ) With these Hee 's serv'd because his God he serves . With these his Magnanimity hath won Triumphant Honours , that shall ne're be done . But Beyond Time his fame shall ever last , And he in blest Eternity be plac'd . All praise to thee , Eternall King of Kings , That coveredst Him with thy protections wings With Such Miraculous Grace , that all may see My Soveraignes Safety All Consists in Thee . When as Assiria's King , ( or th' Aramite ) 'Gainst Israel came , with Numbers Infinite , The Man of God ( Elisha ) did disclose The plots and purposes of Israel's foes . In Dothan then the Prophet did Reside , And Aram did a Mighty Host provide , And Seidg'd that Towne , ( with terror much dismaid ) Elishaes Servant also was afraid : Alas Master , How shall we do said He , The Prophet said , feare not , for with us be More then with them ; Then did the Prophet pray His mans Mindes Blindnesse might be tooke away , And presently Such Sight did Him Inspire He saw his Master Compast Rownd with fire , And all the Mountaine full of wondrous forces Of Heavenly Soldiers , Charets , men and Horses . Elishaes Prayer did such favour find That all the Aramites were Strait Strooke Blind And so Captiv'd , their mighty Host did bring Into Samaria , unto Israells King . Againe the Prophet praid unto the Lord , And presently their Sights were all Restor'd , With feare , they saw themselves environd Round , By those , whom they had purpos'd to Confound . Th' Assirians Being in this piteous plight , Quoth Israel's King ( twice ) Father , shall I Smite , The Prophet Answerd , I say Smite them not , Those with the sword whom thou hast Captive Got ; Although they 're foes they 're men , opprest with greif , Give Bread and Water to 'em , for Releife . Then did the King Great preparation make , And ( on his foes did much compassion take , He fed them , and in peace he sent them back Who came to be his Ruin and his Wrack . So , thus th' Almighty pleased his foes to tame , And Arams Bands no more to Israell came . Thus unto Israel was deliverance given , Miraculously by the hand of Heaven . When Ammon Joynd with Moab , and Mount Seir , Good King Iehosophat to overbear With Multitudes of Horse , and men of war , So that all Humane Hope , and Helpe was far . God then a Prophet rais'd who truly said , Stand Still Iehosaphat , be not dismaid , Behold the Lords Salvation , he hath spoak , The feild is thine , thou shalt not strike a stroake . Strait the mistakeing Ammonite ( pell mell ) Together by the Eares with Moab fell , Each , thought the other Iudah's force to be In Bloudy Battaile deadly blows did flee . At last Mount Seir , ( or th' warlike Edomite ) Came in , and on them both , Renew'd the fight ; The slaughter was so Great , that death was Cloyd , And thus Gods foes , themselves , themselves destroyd . Thus whilest they did each other overthrow , The King had victory and strooke no blow . My application of all this , is this , That God that ever was , for ever Is , He sav'd Samaria from the Aramites , And Just Jehosaphat from Ammonites , And from th' Incestuous brood of Moabites , And Esaus Rough-haird seed , the Edomites . The thoughts of Kings are open to his sight , And he doth know , King Charles his heart is right . By Miracles of old 't is Manifest , Th' Almighty hath his wondrous power exprest ; And Sure , the Miracle , God shew'd of late Is Admirable , Loving , Gracious , Great . The Kings own Subjects , His own servants too Payd , and gave Ayd , their Soveraigne to undo : With His own Weapons , Armes , and every thing They , ( in the Kings Name ) warr against the King . Then , in that Low , unworthy exigent The Powerfull hand of the Omnipotent Raised him againe , to beat Rebellion downe , And to regaine againe , ( in peace ) his owne . When ( like to Aram ) our Blind Separatists Have Clear'd their Blear'd Eyes from Erroneous Mists , The Nose-wise Brownist Grauely doth begin To see the foolerie he hath liv'd in , The Anabaptist likewise hath found out How he hath gone the furthest way about . The Papist ( as I hope ) is quite past Hope That England shall be pester'd with the Pope , And every Idle Sect discountenanc'd , And onely Protestants true faith advanc'd . This God by Miracle for us hath don , And England Hath it 's ancient glory Won . Prophetically true , I hope these Lines Of mine will prove , for ( as my Soule divines ) The Lord these things to passe will shortly bring , And God , for ever Blesse and Save the King . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A64215e-100 2 Kings . 6. 8. V. 20. V. 23. 2 Chr. 20. 
A64216	----	John Taylors vvandering, to see the vvonders of the vvest. How he travelled neere 600. miles, from London to the Mount in Cornwall, and beyond the Mount, to the Lands end, and home againe. Dedicated to all his loving friends, and free minded benefactors. In these dangerous dayes for rich men, and miserable times for the poore servants of the late King, (whereof I was one, 45. yeers to his royall father and himself) I thought it needful to take some course to make use of some friends, and devise a painfull way for my subsistence; which was the journey I have past, and this booke heere present; for which purpose I gave out many of these following bills, to which neere 3000. gentlemen and others, have kindly subscribed, to give me a reasonable reward. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64216 of text R203757 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T528). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 37 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 12 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64216 Wing T528 ESTC R203757 99863590 99863590 115800 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64216) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 115800) Images scanned from microfilm: (Thomason Tracts ; 88:E573[12]) John Taylors vvandering, to see the vvonders of the vvest. How he travelled neere 600. miles, from London to the Mount in Cornwall, and beyond the Mount, to the Lands end, and home againe. Dedicated to all his loving friends, and free minded benefactors. In these dangerous dayes for rich men, and miserable times for the poore servants of the late King, (whereof I was one, 45. yeers to his royall father and himself) I thought it needful to take some course to make use of some friends, and devise a painfull way for my subsistence; which was the journey I have past, and this booke heere present; for which purpose I gave out many of these following bills, to which neere 3000. gentlemen and others, have kindly subscribed, to give me a reasonable reward. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 21, [1] p. s.n.], [London : Printed in the yeer 1649. Partly in verse. Place of publication from Wing. Annotation on Thomason copy: "7ber [i.e. September] 12 1649". Reproduction of the original in the British Library. eng England -- Description and travel -- 1601-1700. A64216 R203757 (Wing T528). civilwar no John Taylors vvandering, to see the vvonders of the vvest. How he travelled neere 600. miles, from London to the Mount in Cornwall, and beyo Taylor, John 1649 7263 9 0 0 0 0 0 12 C The rate of 12 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-00 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-08 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-11 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion JOHN TAYLORS VVandering , to see the VVonders of the VVEST . How he travelled neere 600. Miles , from London to the Mount in Cornwall , and beyond the Mount , to the Lands end , and home againe . Dedicated to all his loving Friends , and free minded Benefactors . In these dangerous dayes for Rich men , and miserable times for the Poore Servants of the late King , ( whereof I was one , 45. yeers to his Royall Father and Himself ) I thought it needful to take some course to make use of some friends , and devise a painfull way for my subsistence ; which was the Journey I have past , and this Booke heere present ; for which purpose I gave out many of these following Bills , to which neere 3●00 . Gentlemen and others , have kindly subscribed , to give me a reasonable reward . Printed in the Yeere 1649. TAYLORS Westerne Voyage to the Mount . T Is a mad world ( my masters ) and in sadnes I travail'd madly in these dayes of madnes : Eight yeares a frenzy did this Land molest , The ninth year seem'd to be much like the rest , My selfe ( with age , griefe , wrongs , and wants opprest , With troubles more then patience could digest ) Amongst those Isles , I chose the least and best , Which was to take this journey to the West : And sure it is an Argument most fit , That he who hath a portion of small wit As I have , and good store of friends , 't were sloth And foolery , not to make use of both . My wit was worne thread bare , halfe naked , poore . And I , with it , went wool-gath'ring for more . This long walke ( first and last ) I undertooke On purpose to get money by my Booke : My friends ( I know ) will pay me for my paine . And I will never trouble them againe . Six hundred miles , I ( very neere ) have footed , And all that time was neither sho'd or booted ; But in light buskins I perform'd this traveli O're hill and dale , through dust dirt , flint , and gravell . And now no more words I in vaine will scatter , But come unto the marrow of the matter . My Reader must not her suppose that I Will write a treatise of Geography : Or that I meane to make ex●ct Relations Of Cities , Townes , or Countries scituations ; Such men as those I turne them o're to reade The learned Cambden , or the painefull Speed . And now ( good Reader ) I my muse do tune , I London left , the twenty one of June : To Brainford , Colebrooke , Maidenhead and Henly , I past ( the weather faire , the high wayes cleanely ) To Abington . where foure dayes I remain'd , By friends and kinsfolkes kindely entertain'd : Thankes to my Nephew John , with all the rest , To whom that time I was a costly Guest . AND now me thinkes a little Profe may be relished amongst friends ; I left Abington on Wednesday the 27. of June , and ( for the case of my purse ) I gave 2s . 6d . for the hire of the Skelliton or Anatomy of a Beast to carry me ten miles to Farington ; the thing I was mounted on was neither Horse , Mine , or Gelding , it was all spirit , with very little ( or no flesh . ) It was none of your pursy foggy Jades , and amongst Horsemen it might have past for a Light Horse , too much worke , and too little meate , made him as gaunt as a Greyhound : Thus ( mounted like Don Quixot ) I entred Farington , but worse Guests then I had been there since these troubles ; for the Kings Party burnt one part of the Towne , and the Parliaments fired the rest , so that between them there was a good hansome Market Towne turned into Ashes and Rubbidge : It begins to bud and spring out againe , for heere and there a pritty house peepes up : so that it will in short time be rebuilt , and Phaenix like ( out of it's owne cinders ) be revived and reneued to a more pleasing and beautifull prospect . From Farington I footed it foure miles to Hiworth , ( a Market Towne ) and from thence to Purton seaven miles more , where I lodged , there was nothing remarkable in all that dayes travels ; but that in the morning a Church at a Village called Kingston , ( five miles from Abington having no steeple ; but the Church at Purton ( where I lay all night ) had two steeples : but I was certified that the Minister that had two steeples , had but one Benefice , and he that had none , had two , by which meanes the reckoning was even betwixt them , for what the one had , the other had not . The 28. of Iune , I betook me to my feete an house and halfe before the Sunne could shew his face in Somersetshire , and for one shilling I hired an old drunkard to guide me eight long miles to the Towne of Malmsbury , where all worthy remembrance was , that I found an Ancient Towne , an old Castle , and new Ale ; from thence I hired a Horse for 25. seaven miles , and footed it seaven miles more that day to the famous , renowned , ancient , little pritty City of Bathe , I lodged in the Mayors house : But his Worship was as ignorant as my selfe , for he being a Baker , had let halfe his house to a Victualler : so he sold bread without , and I bought drinke within : The next day I had notice where I was , wherefore I went to his stall or shop window , and told him what I was , and that I was he who came nine yeares agoe from London , to that City with a small Scullers Boate ; Mr. Mayor was pleased to entertaine me most kindely ( with both his hands in his pocket ) and like a man of few words , forbore to say wellcome to Towne ; so wee parting dryly I left him in his shop , Lord Baron of the Browne Loaves , and Master of the Rolls ( in that place : ) but there is no doubt but the man may live a faire age , and dye in his bed , if be escape the unfortunate destiny of Pharoahs Baker . Friday 29. of Iune , I had the luck twice to have not one dry thread about me , ( being wet to the very skin ) and yet my cloathes were as dry as a bone : the reason is , that I was in the Bathe , and my cloathes out . Iune 30. I travelled fifteene miles to the Towne of Wells , where I stayd but little , and found as little matter of observation , but that these holy , prophane days , and blessed execrable Times of troublesome tranquility , have spoyled and defaced one of the goodliest and magnificent Cathedrall Churches in the Christian world : But such pious workes as polution and abusing of Churches , wee neede not goe amongst Turkes for proofes ; for though Peters at Westminster hath scaped reasonable cleanely , yet Pauls in London hath layen out of order , in ord●●e a battenning . The same day I went foure miles further to the ancient Towne of Glastonbury , there I saw the Ruines of an Abby , which was one of the statelyest and most sumptuous structures in England or Europe : there ●●●●aines yet the ruined walls of a Chappell built in memory of Joseph of Arimathea ( who as it is recorded by Authentique Historians ) did first convert this Land from Paganisme to Christianity : And wee have great neede of another good Ioseph to come amongst us , to doe as much for us now . But there is no memoriall of any place where that good old man was buried : the Abby was walled more then a mile about , with a wall of free-stone , as faire as London wall ; it is very probable that King Arthur ( our English Worthy ) was there sepulchred : for there I saw some stones of Marble , of which I placed the broken pieces together ; I read these words in Latin , Hic jacet Guineverus Regins , Vxores , &c. Queene Guinever was Wife to the great Arthur , and she being buried there , it is to be conjectured that his bones were not layd far from her . Mr. Camden , doth quote the Ancient Historian , William of Malmsbury , to write these words following concerning Glastenbury . That it was the first Land of God in England , the first Land of Saints in England , the beginning and fountaine of all Religion in England , the Tombe of Saints , the Mother of Saints , the Church founded and built by the Lords Disciples . I saw a branch or slip of the Hawthorne Tree that did beare . Blossomes every yeare ( when all other Trees were frost-bitten , and seemed dead : ) this Tree onely , on Christmas day , the day of our blessed Saviours Birth ; this Tree did ( in its kinde ) snew its joy in comemoration of the Nativity of the Redeemer of unkinde mankinde : There are all the Inhabitants in the Towne will verifie it , and thousands in England and other Countries will affirme that it is no Fable : The Souldiers being over zealous did cut it downe in pure devotion ; but a Vintner dwelling in the Towne did save a great ship or branch of it , and placed or set it in his Garden , and he with others did tell me that the same doth likewise Bloome on the 25. day of December , yearely ; I saw the sayd branch , and it was ten foote high , greene , and flourishing ; I did take a dead Sprigge from it , wherewith I made two or three Tobacco stoppers , which I brought to London ; my humble thankes to Mr. Brooke , with ( his good Sister ) for they entertained me freely ; so that the Towne of Glastonbury was not one penny the richer for any expences of mine . Monday the second of Iuly , I went to Bridgewater ten miles , where all that was worthy of note was , that neare the Towne , at a stile I had a great disaster ; for a shagge or splinter of the stile tooke hold of my one and onely breeches , and tore them in that extreme unmercifull , unmannerly manner , that for shame and modesties sake I was faine to put them off , and goe breechlesse into the Towne , where I found a botching threepenny Taylor , who did patch me up with such reparations as made me not ashamed to put my breeches on againe , and trot five miles further to a ragged Market Towne called Neather-St●y , where extreame weary , I tooke up my lodging , at a signe and no signe , which formerly was the Rose and Crowne ; but Roses are withered , and Crownes are obscured , as the signe was . Surely that day was a mad , sad , glad , auspicious , unlucky day to me , worse then an Ominous , Childermas , or a dogged byting dog-day ; for the Hostesse was out of Towne , mine Host was very sufficiently drunke , the house most delicately deckt with exquisite artificiall , and naturall sluttery , the roome be sprinckled and strewed with the excrements of Pigs and Children ; the wall and sielings were adorned and hanged with rare Spiders Tapistry , or cobweb Lawne ; the smoake was so palpable and perspicuous , that I could scarce see any thing else , and yet I could scarce see that , it so blinded me with Rheum a signe of weeping ; besides all this , the odorifferous and contagious perfume of that house was able to outvie all the Millainers in Christendome or Somersetshire . I being thus embellished , or encompassed with these most unmatchable varieties ; but to comfort me compleatly , mine Host swing'd off halfe a pot to me , bad me be merry , and asked me if I would have any powdred Beefe and Carrets to supper ; I told him yes , with all my heart ; but I being weary of the house , I went and sate three houres in the street , where mine Host often did visit me with most delightfull and hydropicall non-sense ; at last , 7 of the clock was struck , and I went into the house to see if supper were ready ; but I found small comfort there , for the fire was out , no Beefe to be boyled , mine Host fast asleep , the Maid attending the hogs , and my hungry selfe halfe starv'd with expectation ; I awaked mine Host , and asked him where the Beefe was , he told me that he had none , and desired me to be contented with egges fryed with parsly ; I prayed him to shew me my chamber , which he did ; the chamber was sutable to the rest of the house ; there I stayd till neere 9 a clock , expecting fry'd egges , when mine Host came to me with an empty answer , there were no egges to be had , so at the last I purchased a piece of bread and butter , and to bed , and then began my further torments ; for thinking to take a little rest , I was furiously assualted by an Ethiopian Army of Fleas , and do verily believe that I layd so manfully about me that I made more then 500 mortuus est : they were so wel grown that as I took 'em I gave 'em no quarter , but rub'd 'em between my finger and my thumbe , and they were so plumpe & mellow , that they would squash to pieces like yong boyled pease : But all these troubles I patiently past by , making no more account of them , then of so many Flea-bytings . For my further delight , my chamber-pot seemed to be lined within with crimson plush , or shag'd scarlet bayes , it had scaped a scowring time out of minde , it was fur'd with antiquity , and withall it had a monumentall savour ; and this pisse-pot was another of my best contentments . At last , wearinesse and watching , began to inforce sleep upon me , so that ( in spight of the fleas teeth ) I began to winke , when suddenly , three children began to cry , and for an hours space I was kept waking , which made mee fall to the slaughter againe . The children being hush'd asleep , the game began afresh amongst the dogs , for the cry was up , and the bawling Currs took the word one from the other , all the Towne over ; and the dogs had no sooner done , but the day break appeared , and the hogs began to cry cut for their breakfast : so I arose , and travelled ( almost sleeping ) 10. miles that day ; which was to a Towne called Dunstar , where upon a lofty hill stands a strong Castle , it had then a Garrison in it ; I'must confesse I was free there , From nasty Roomes , that never fels broomes , From excrements , and all bad sents , From childrens bawling , and caterwawling , From grunting of hogs , and barking of dogs , And from byting of Fleas , there I found ease . The fourth of Iuly , I travelled to Exfourd ( so named ) because it stands near the head , or spring of the River Ex , which runs downe fom North to South neere 40 miles to the City of Exeter , and to Exmouth , where it delivers it selfe into the Ocean , and from thence to Brayfourd , ( another Fourd which runs into the River of Ex , as the people told me ; but I finde it not so in the Map , ) that dayes journey was sixteene miles , a teadious weary way for a crazy , old , lame , bad , foundered footman , I am sure I found it so ; for when I came to my lodging I had more minde to eate then to fight , and a better stomack to a bed then a supper . The fifth of Iuly , I walked but seven mi'es to Barnstable , a very fine sweete Towne , so cleane and neate , that in the worse of weather , a man may walke the streets , and never foule shooe or boote ; there I stayd till the next day noone , being well and wellcomely entertained by one Mr. Iohn Downes , who gave me Fidlers fare , meate , drinke and money , for which I heartily thanked him : From thence I past by water five miles to Aplear . Iuly the sixt ( being Friday ) I paced it ten miles to a place named Ferry Crosse , in the Parish of Allington , and the seven day I turned my back upon Devonshire , having gone that day fifteene miles to the first Market Towne in Cornewall ( on the North-side of the County ) named Stratten . Cornewall is the Cornucopia , the compleate and repleate Horne of Abundance for high churlish Hills , and affable courteous people ; they are loving to requite a kindenesse , placable to remit a wrong , and hardy to resort injuries ; the Countrey hath its share of huge stones , mighty Rocks , noble , free , Gentlemen , bountifull housekeepers , strong , and stout men , handsome , beautifull women , and ( for any that I know ) there is not one Cornish Cuckold to be found in the whole County : In briefe they are in most plentifull manner happy in the abundance of right and left hand blessings . It is a wonder that such rugged Mountains do produce such fertility of Corn , and Cattle ; for if the happy dayes and times of peace were once settled . Cornewall might compare with any County in England , for quantity of all necessaries needfull , and quallity of persons . The ninth of Iuly I left Stratten and ambled twenty miles to the Towne of Camelfourd , and to a Village called Blistland , and there I was taken for the man I was not ; for they suspected me to be a bringer of Writs and Processe to serve upon some Gentlemen , and to bring men into trouble : But with much adoe I scaped a beating , by beating into their beliefes that I was was no such creature . Iuly the tenth , I came to Bodman , ( a Market Town ) and from thence the same day to a Village called St. Enedor , a part of which Parish is called Penhall , there at a Smiths house was good lodging , better cheare , and best drinke ; the Smith was lame , his Wife was faire and handsome , where if I could haue acted the part of Mars , there might have been played the Comedy of Vulean and Venus : that dayes travell was eighteen miles . Iuly eleaventh , I progressed to Trure , another Market Towne , which is the Lord Roberts his Land ; there I bought a fish called a Breame for three pence , it would have served foure men ; after dinner I went eight miles further to a Towne called Redruith , in all that dayes travells eighteen miles , I saw nothing strange to me but a few Cornish Dawes ( or Choughs ) with red bills , and legs : They saluted me upon the wing , just in the language of our Jack Dawes about London , Ka , Ka. The twelfth of Iuly , I came within two miles of Saint Michaels Mount , to an ancient house called by the name of Trimineague : it hath been , and is the birth place of Worthy Families , of the Noble name of the Godolphins : The right owner and possessour of it now is Francis Godolphin , Esquire , a Gentleman endowed with Piety , Humanity , Affability and Ability ; he hath a heart charitable , a minde bountifull , and a hand liberall ; he hath ( deservedly ) the cordiall love of all the County , and would have the enjoyments of earthly contentments , if once these discontented times were quieted : Seaven dayes I stayed with him , in which time he was pleased to send a Kinsman of his ( M. Anthony Godolpheny ) with me to see the Mount , which I thus describe . It is about a mile in compasse at the foote , and it rises 700 peces very steepe to the top , it is in forme like a great hay-cock or Reeke , or much like a Mounteere ; on the top or Piram●s of it , is a fine Church called Saint Michaels , the sayd Church is now for no other use but a well stored Magazine with Ammunition , from whence ( for a relique of remembrance ) I brought halfe a yard of Saint Michaels Mounts Monumentall Match : I went to the top of the Church Tower seventy steps higher , and in my comming downe I viewed the Bells ( which were five in number ) being faire and handsome , they cannot be rung , because the crack rope Souldiers have broke all the Bell-ropes , insomuch as for any more ringing there , the Bells being ropelesse , the people are hopelesse . To speake the truth of this so much talked of Famous Mount ; it is lofty , rocky , innaccessible , impregnable not to be taken , or kept , nor worth the taking or keeping : It is a barren stony little wen or wait , that with men , Amunition , and Victualls is able to defend it selfe ; but if it hath not the Sea and Land to friend , there is an Enemy called hunger ( or famine ) that will conquer Mounts and Mountaines : It can do no service to the seaward , for the water is so shallow , that no ship can saile within shot of it , and for Land service the Towne of Market Iew , stands better for defence : The Mount is an Island , and no Island , twice in every 24 houres : for when the Sea is up , Boates must be used to go to it , but upon the ebbe , Troopers may ride to it forty in Ranck : Market Iew is about two flight shoote of it , the Mayor whereof ( one Mr. William Mabb ) caused me to dine with him , for which I returne him a few printed thanks . In the Mount I saw a craggy rugged seat , of Rocky Upholstery , which the old fabulous rumour calls St. Michaels Chayre : and a Well I saw there , which twice in 24 howres is fresh water , and salt water : This Mount had a Garrison within it , which made the Country people to grumble without it ; yet the soldiers are pretty civill : and one Captaine Geary did courteously regard and drink with me at the Maiors house at Market Iew . From thence I returned to Mr. Godolphins , and he did perswade mee to see the Lands end , fourteen miles further ; for which journey on the 16. day of July , he did lend me 2. horses , with his kinsman to ride with me , where ( for his sake ) I was welcome by the way , with a good dinner , at one Mr. Levales house , from whence I rode , and went as far as I could ride , goe , or creepe , for rockes and sea : and there I saw the Island of Silly , with other smaller Islands , which are sayd to be 16. or 17. in number . The mayne Island is held for the Prince , by one Captaine ( or as some say , a Knight ) called Sir Iohn Greenvill ; it is very strong , with a good safe harbour , and as it is reported there , hath a good fleet of ships in it : some doe call it a second Argiere , for there cannot a ship or vessell passe by it , but they doe make out upon them , whereby they have great riches , with all necessaries : it was 8. leagues at least from me , insomuch that I could but onely see it dimly , and 2. ships I perceyved that lay at road ( perdue ) to give notice ( as I conjectured ) of the appearance of any shipping that sayled within their ken : I did cut my name 4. inches deep in a small patch of earth amongst the Rockes , at the Lands end , and I am sure no man can go thither and set his name or foot , halfe a foot before me . The same day I returned to one Mr. Iones his house a mile thence , in the farthest Western Parish of the County of Cornwall , called Sevin ; there I had good entertainment all night , by the Gentlemans and his Wives free welcome , which was out of their owne curteous disposition ; but chiefly for Mr. Godolphins sake , to whom at Trimiweagow I returned , on the 17. of July , where I rested one day : and on the 18. day I tooke my leave , having received 7. dayes hospitality in plenty , with many other curtesies in money and other necessaries which I wanted ; besides hee sent his kinsman with mee to direct mee the way to another Francis Godolphin of Godolphin house . That Gentleman is the chiefe of that noble name ; his house a stately ancient Pallace , and my chear and welcome at dinner , most freely bountifull . After dinner hee walked with me , where ( in my way ) I saw his Mines of Tin , and a house where his workemen were refining and melting of Tin , which is a rich commodity . So at my taking leave of him , hee put ten shillings in my hand , which came to me in an acceptable time . From thence I jog'd 3. miles further , to a house called Clowance in the Parish of Crowen , where dwells one Mr. Iohn Sentabin , he is sonne in Law to the first Godolphin I came to , whose daughter he marryed ( a vertuous and beautifull Gentlewoman ) where I tooke a welcome , a supper and a bed , till the next morning , being Iuly 19. he sent a man with me eight Miles to a sister of his , named Mrs. Gertrude , to her I was so welcome , that after I thought she had been weary of me , she would faine have had me to stay two dayes more , which I ( with thankes refusing ) she lent me a Mare ( and a man to bring her home againe ) which Mare I roade to a Towne called Penny com quick , within a mile of Pendennis Castle , which Castle I looked on a far off , but I durst not attempt to offer to go into it , for feares and jealousies might have mistaken me for a spy ; for at all places of Garison , there is very strict examinations of persons , and at every Townes end , in all the sea Townes of part of Cornewall , Devonshire , Dorsetshire , and every Shine , no traveller could passe without catechizing words : As what is your name , whence came you , where dwell you , whither go you , what is your businesse , and wherefore came you hither ? Now he that cannot answer these particular demands punctually , is to be had before Governours , Captaines , Commanders , Mayors , or Constables , where if a man doe chance to be suffered to passe freely from them , yet it is a hazard of the losse of a Travellers liberty by either their unbeliefe or misp ision , and at the best it is a hinderance to a mans journey and losse of time . These considerations made me doubtfull to presume to looke into Pendennis Castle , or any other Garrison or place of defence : This Castle is seated very high , and it stands very defensive for the famous Haven of Faymouth , ( one of the best Harbours for shipping in the world : ) it was built by King Henry the eight , it is impregnable , and as long as it is well manned , amunitioned , and victualled , it is thought to be invincible , and there 's an end of that poynt . That day I past a Ferry called King Harries Passage , ( but why it is so named few men knowe ) there I lodged at the Ferry mans house , and the next morning being 21 of Iuly , I travelled twelve miles to a fisher Towne called Mevageasie ; that Towne hath in it two Tavernes , and six Ale-houses , to every one of which I went for lodging , and not any one would harbour me , then I fought for a Constable to helpe me , but no Constable was to be found ; the people all wondring at me , as if I had been some strange Beast , or Monster brought out of Affrica ; at which most incivill and barbarous useage , I began to be angry , and I perceiving that no body cared for my anger , I discreetely went into the house where I first demanded lodging ; where the Hostes being very willing to give me the courteous entertainement of Iack Drum , commanded me very kindely to get me out of dores , for there was no roome for me to lodge in . I told her that I would honestly pay for what I tooke , and that if I could not have a bed , yet I was sure of a house over my head , and that I would not out till the morning : with that a yong saucy knave told me that if I would not go out , he would throw me out , at which words my choller grew high , my indignation hot , and my fury fiery , so that I arose from a bench , went to my youth , and dared to the combate ; whereat the Hostesse ( with feare and trembling ) desired me to be quiet , and I should have a bed , at which words my wrath was appeared , and my ire asswaged . But straite wayes another storme seemed to appeare ; for an ancient Gentleman came suddenly out of another Roome ( who had heard all the former friendly passages , ) and hee told mee that I should not lodge there , for though I had sought and not found a Constable , yet I should know that I had found a Justice of Peace before I sought him ; and that he would see me safely lodged : I was somewhat amazed at his words , and answered him , Let him doe his pleasure , for I submitted my selfe to his disposall . To which he replyde , That I should go but halfe a mile with him to his house , which I did , and there his good Wife and he did entertayne me courteously , with such fare and lodging , as might have accommodated any Gentleman of more worth and better quality then one that had been ten times in degree before me : there I stayd the Saturday and all the Sunday , where I found more Protestant Religion in 2. dayes , then I had in 5. yeers before . The Gentlemans name is Mr. Iohn Carew , a Gentleman of noble and ancient descent , and a worthy Iustice of the Peace in those parts . I was certified , that in that little Town of Mevagesey , there are 44. Fisher Boats , which doe fish for Pilchards , that every Boat hath 6. men , and that every 2. Boats have one net between them : they doe call the 2. Boats a Seine ; so there are 22. Seines , and 22. Nets : every Cornish Bushell is in measure 2. Bushels and a halfe of our measure at London : every 2. Boates ( or Seine ) doe spend 250. Bushels of Salt ( Cornish measure ) to salt Pilchards only ; every Seine do use 100. Hogsheads to pickle the sayd Pilchards in yearly . So that this one little Towne , doth spend by Gods blessing , and the meanes of those small fishes , every year , Of Salt , 22 times 350 Cornish Bushells , which is in the number of our Bushells , 14000,350 . Of Hogsheads , or Caske , 2200. Of men for 44 Boats , 6 men for each , 264. These men with their Families ( being many in Number ) are all maintained by Pilchard catching ; but this is not all , for there are other greater ●ownes in the County , which doe every one of them use the same trade of fishing , with more and greater numbers of men , boats , nets , caske , and much more quantity of salt ; some of the other Townes are S. Keverne , Foye , Lee , with others which I cannot recite . This infinite number of Pilchards , being salted and put up in Caske , are bought a mane by the Spanish , French , Datch , Italian , and other Merchants , and by them they are either eaten or fold , and transported to many other people and Nations : And now I hope I have filled my Renders bellies with Pilchards , without cloying or offending their stomack● ; if any one be queasie , or doe feele a wambling in the Gizzard ; let them call for a cup of S●ck , drinke it , and pay for it . The 23 of Iuly , I came to Foye , and to Loo or Low ) twenty miles ; this Towne of Loo , is divided in two parts , or two Townes together , two Mayors , two Churches , two Governours , and more then two Religions ; all that I can say of either of the Looes , is , that there was Souldiers and swordmen , strong Beere and dagger Ale , Land flesh and Sea fish in plenty . On the 24. of Iuly , I turned my back upon Cornewall , and went from Loo to Plimouth in Devonshire , twelve miles : At Plimouth I stayd not two houres , the Towne was too full of suspitions to hold me : There I saw Colonel William Leg , a prisoner in the Towerhouse , or Guild hall , I spake to him ( being on the ore side of the way in a window , and he on the other ) in a low whispering voice that every one might heare what we sayd ; I wished him health and liberty , and so left him in thraldome ; There was two Stationers did make me very welcome for two or three houres ; their names were Thomas Ratcliffe and William Weekes , they gave me smoake and drinke in Plimouth , for which I require them in Paper and Inck at London . That afternoone I left Plimouth , and went foure miles further , to Plimpton , and on the morrow ( being Saint Iames his day ) I hired a horse forty miles to Exeter , where I was two dayes entertained at mine owne cost , with some charges that Burgomasters and Bookesellers underwent : I can say little of Exeter , but that it is a faire sweete City , a goodly Cathedrall Church ( not yet quite spoyled or stabled ) and it had large Suburbs , with long streets , and many fine dwellings till this mad fire of contention turned all to ruines , rubbidge , cinders , Ashes , and fume . Two houres before Phabus appeared in our hemisphere , I was on footback from Exeter to Honiton , the 27. of Iuly , there I had a nights lodging , and dyet of such a homely fashion , as I have no occasion to boast of ; there I hired a Horse ( which proved to be a blinde Mare ) she had two wens as big as clusters of Grapes hung over both her eyes , and five or six wens on her shoulders and flanks , all which beautifull ornaments I could not perceive or see till I had road the beast foure mile , ( for I was mounted before the breake of day ; ) but when I saw the comelynesse of the beast , betweene shame and anger I was almost mad at the Rogue that owned her ; and being neere to a Market Towne called Axmister , I dismounted , and footed eight miles to Broad Winsor in Dersetshire , where I was better horst eight miles further to Evershot , and then I paced on foote eight miles further to the Towne of Sherbourne , that dayes travell was 31 mile . The 31 of Iuly , I went from Sherbourne to Shafisbury , and so to Wilton , and Salisbury , 31 mile : At Wilton I saw the Earle of Pembrokes Magnificent and Sumptuous Building and repairing of such a stately Fabrick , that for strength , beauty , forme , state , glazing , painting , gilding , carving , pollishing , embellishing and adorning : It may be a Pallace for the greatest King in Christendome : the Springs , and Fish-ponds , the Garden , the Walkes , the rare Artificiall Rocks and Fountaines , the Ponds with fish on the house top , the strange figures and fashions of the water workes , the numerous , innumerable varieties of fruits and flowers ; yea all , and every thing that may make an earthly Paradice , is there to be seene , felt , heard , or understood , ( which because I understand not ) I shut up all with this , there is inestimable cost , exquisite Art and Artists , most exceeding good work and workemen , onely one thing ( that is quite out of fashion almost every where ) is used there , which is good and just payment . From Wilton , to Salisbury two miles , there I sleeped out the later end of the whole Moneth of Iuly . I had a desire to go into the Church there ( one of the fairest in England ) but now the playes be downe , there was no sights to be seen without money , which though I could have payd , yet for two Reasons I would not ; the one was because I had oftentimes seene that Church in former times , when Gods Service was sayd there , and the second cause why I would not be guilty of Simony , and with corrupting Mammon enter or intrude into the House of God . The first of August , I footed to Andover , fifteene old miles , and eighteene new ones , ( of the Posts late measuring : ) The next day to Merrell Greene , 24 miles , the third day to Stanes , eighteene miles , and the fourth of August fifteene miles to London : My journey being in all 546 miles , which I went and came in six Weekes , and lay still and rested twelve dayes in severall places on Weeke dayes , besides six Sundayes : But all this was nothing to me , being a youth of threescore and ten , with a lame leg and a halfe , and there is an end of the story . Like to the stone of Sisiphus . I roule From place to place , through weather faire and foule , And yet I every day must wander still To vent my Bookes , and gather friends good will ; I must confesse this worke is frivalowse , And he that ( for it ) daigues to give a lowse , Doth give as much for 't as 't is worth , I know ; Yet meerly merily I this jaunt did goe In imitation of a mighty King . Whose warlike acts , good fellowes often sing , The King of France and twenty thousand men , Went up the Hill , and so came downe agen . So I this travell past , with cost and paine , And ( as I wisely went ) came home againe . FINIS . 
A64219	----	The vvhole life and progresse of Henry Walker the ironmonger first, the manner of his conversation : secondly, the severall offences and scandalous pamphlets the said Walker hath writ, and for which he is now a prisoner in New-Gate : thirdly, the forme of the inditement which is laid against him, by the Kings sergeants at law, and his learned counsell : fourthly, his conviction by the iury : fiftly, his recantation and sorrow for the publicke wrong he hath done His Majesty and the whole kingdome : here are also many remarkable passages concerning the offence, and apprehending the said Henry Walker, with a true relation of his severall escapes and rescues from the hands of justice, &c. / collected and written by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64219 of text R22104 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T530). 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A64219) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 65745) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 252:E154, no 29) The vvhole life and progresse of Henry Walker the ironmonger first, the manner of his conversation : secondly, the severall offences and scandalous pamphlets the said Walker hath writ, and for which he is now a prisoner in New-Gate : thirdly, the forme of the inditement which is laid against him, by the Kings sergeants at law, and his learned counsell : fourthly, his conviction by the iury : fiftly, his recantation and sorrow for the publicke wrong he hath done His Majesty and the whole kingdome : here are also many remarkable passages concerning the offence, and apprehending the said Henry Walker, with a true relation of his severall escapes and rescues from the hands of justice, &c. / collected and written by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [8] p. [s.n.], Printed at London : 1642. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Walker, Henry, -- Ironmonger. A64219 R22104 (Wing T530). civilwar no The vvhole life and progresse of Henry Walker the ironmonger. First, the manner of his conversation. Secondly, the severall offences, and sc Taylor, John 1642 3883 5 0 0 0 0 0 13 C The rate of 13 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-09 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-11 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-11 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE VVhole Life and Progresse of Henry Walker the Ironmonger . First , The manner of his Conversation . Secondly , The severall offences , and scandalous Pampehlets the said Walker hath writ , and for which he is now a Prisoner in New-Gate . Thirdly , The forme of the Inditement which is laid against him , by the Kings Sergeants at Law , and his learned Counsell . Fourthly , His Conviction by the Iury . Fiftly , His Recantation , and sorrow for the publicke wrong he hath done his Majesty and the whole Kingdome . Here are also many remarkable passages concerning the offence , and apprehending the said Henry Walker , with a true Relation of his severall escapes and rescues from the hands of Justice ; &c. Collected and Written by Iohn Taylor . Printed at London 1642. Walkers Recantation , together with his Life and Conversation . IT is too much apparant to this whole Land or Kingdome ( which our Gracious Soveraigne is the Lords , Annoynted over ) what , and how many , and numberlesse Pamphlets , seditious and scandalous Libells , impudent over-bold , impertinent and sawcy Petitions , to the great discontent of his Maiesty , the abuse of the High Court of Parliament , and disorder or cause of the ( too much confusion throughout all his Majesties Dominions have bin disperst . The chiefe or maine stickler in this cause hath bin this Henry Walker , of whom I 〈◊〉 to treate in these ensuing lines ; and first to begin with his beginning ( as far as I know ) The truth is , he was an Apprentice to one Mr. 〈◊〉 , an Iro● monger in Newgate Market ; his time being expired ( I know not how or when ) he did set up that Trade in divers places of this City of London ; but his Trade and 〈◊〉 felt at odds one with the other , so that there was a breach betwixt them , & being there was no 〈◊〉 they parted , & never mean to come together againe : Then he having left selling Grydirens and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a gadding 〈◊〉 walk'd and found out a softer occupation , and 〈◊〉 up a Booke-sellers Shop , fell to Booke-selling ; Hee not having any word of God in his said Shop above the bulke or fize of a Horne-booke . In these troublesome times Mr. Walker set his wits a worke to compose such things as he supposed would vent or be 〈◊〉 , amongst such people as understood them not , loved contention , or were willing to beleeve any thing that tended to rend or shake the 〈◊〉 of either Church or State , and such ( and no other but such ) were all the Pamphlets , which he ( the said Walker composed , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 printed and sold , of which kinds of stuffe it is supposed that he 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 neere 300. severall ones , of which number many 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 bin printed 1500. or a 200. at an Impression . and 〈◊〉 . ( 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 least ) of any one of them , besides some of them have 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 twice or thrice over , so that there hath not bin 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 4. or 500000. of such Pamphlets of his dispersed , by which 〈◊〉 or doings , some hundred 〈◊〉 thred-bare 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Trade of scandalous Writing , and Newes making , and would bee called 〈◊〉 , some halfe a yeare ( or there abouts ) Mr. Walker did set his 〈◊〉 to his worthlesse workes , till at last his name grew odious and contemptiblc , so that his 〈◊〉 would not sell , if people did perceive that they were of his doing . Then hee set out his Rarities , namelesse and shamelesse , in greater numbers than formerly he had done , so that all this Kingdome or Island of Great Brittaine , with the Principallity of Wales and Realme of Ireland , were 〈◊〉 over with Lyes , 〈◊〉 and Lice ; nay these scandalous fooleries ( or knaveries ) were of such Attractive force and power , that they drew at least 500. Vagrants and Vagabonds from all the Shires round about London , and they were all suddainely Metamorphis'd and Transform'd into wandring Booke sellers ; every one of them ( like apt Schollers ) had quickly learn'd the Art to Cry , Will 〈◊〉 buy a new Booke , new●lye come forth . This hath past without controlement to the abuse of Church and State , the scandall of the whole Kingdome , the injury 〈◊〉 this Honourable City ; the raysing of strifes , divisions , and bad 〈◊〉 in many people of weake 〈◊〉 and judgements ; and to the mighty impeachment and detriment of the Worshipfull Brother-hood of the Stationers , who are at great charges in paying all duties and Taxes , and that now ( almost two yeares ) the Bread hath bin eaten out of their mouthes by those 〈◊〉 , commonly called Mercuries and Hawkers . Walker continuing still in this course , cursed course , his ragged Regiment of Tatterdemallions daily vending and dispersing his 〈◊〉 Pamphlets , at last , one night late he was by a Watch in London taken for a Rat and carried to the Counter ; the next day he was brought before the Right Honourable Sir Edmond Wright , ( then Lord Major ) where ( upon some occasions ) was one 〈◊〉 Brown a Stationer , whom Walker desired to speake a good word for him to the L. 〈◊〉 , to whom Browne answered that he would speake . And speake he did to the purpose , for when my L. came to examine Walker what he was , and how he lived , he being not able to give a good account for himselfe , then Browne began to certifie my Lord of Walkers good behaviour in manner and forme following . My Lord ( 〈◊〉 he ) I doe know this Walker to be an arrant Rascall , an 〈◊〉 by his Trade , which though it be a Worshipfull Company , yet it cannot containe him , nor he it ; but he is a base intruder , and a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 into the Trade of the Stationers or Booke-sellers , wherein 〈◊〉 unlawfully doth invent , write , print , and scatter all the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 bables ( or the most part of them ) that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the City and 〈◊〉 , and I doe humbly beseech your Lordship to take some 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 him , in restraining him from doing any more . Upon these words 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Major would have bound Walker to answer at the Sessions , but he 〈◊〉 to desist and returne to his old Trade againe , was dismist , and 〈◊〉 for that time got off . Yet for all the promises Mr. 〈◊〉 walked 〈◊〉 in his callumnious Art and mystery of Libelling , untill at last his old Master 〈◊〉 him a shame , paid him in his owne Coyne thus : He having gotten some notice from some of his 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 scowtes , that his 〈◊〉 intended to come to London , to the Guild-Hall 〈◊〉 next day , which his 〈◊〉 did , and dined at Sir George Garrets Knight , and one of the Sheriffes and Alderman of the City , ( near 〈◊〉 Church ) Walkers invention being mounted upon the Altitude of 〈◊〉 , he plotted and contrived with a Printer , the said night before to write and print a perrillous Petition to his Majesty , and borrowed the 〈◊〉 wives Bible , out of which he tooke his 〈◊〉 out of the first of Kings , Chap , 12. ver. 16 part of the verse ; To your 〈◊〉 O Israel . There was writing and printing all night , and all the next day 〈◊〉 Libels were scattered , and when his Majesty had dined , and had taken Coach to returne to White-Hall , Walker stood watching the Kings comming by amongst the Drapers in Pauls Church-yard , and having 〈◊〉 of his ' Pamphlets in his hand meaning to have delivered it to his Majesty , but could not come at him by reason of the presse of People , insomuch as Walker ( most impudently 〈◊〉 ) threw it over the folkes heads into his Majesties Coach . The Earle of Essex being also in the Coach tooke it up , and kept it till his Majesty came to his Pallace , where 〈◊〉 caused it to be read , and finding it a most seditious thing , the next morning after caused the L. 〈◊〉 Iustice of the Kings Bench to be sent for , who obediently came to his Majesty , to whom the said Pamphlet was delivered , with charge with all diligent speed to send forth Warrants , for the taking of 〈◊〉 and the Printer , in which businesse there was used such vigilant care , that they were both taken that very day and brought before the said L. Chiefe Iustice , and being examined apart , Walker said he wrote it 〈◊〉 , but that he bought it of a young S 〈◊〉 all in 〈◊〉 in Westminster Hall , and that it cost 〈◊〉 two shillings sixe 〈◊〉 , this was Walkers Consession , which he subscribed unto . But afterwards the Printer was examined , and he 〈◊〉 that Walker 〈◊〉 it all with his owne hand , and for the doing of it made use of his Wives Bible , in his house , to which confession the Printer hath also set his hand . My Lord Chiefe Iustice caused both their Mittimusses to be made , whereby they were sent to the Kings Bench in Sonth-warke by two Officers of good place and trust ; in which Prison they remained a 〈◊〉 or neere , untill it was thought meet to remove them from the Kings Bench to Newgate , whereby they might be tryed at the next approaching Sessions , for which purpose they were removed as aforesaid two daies before the Sessions ; 〈◊〉 they taking Boat on the Bank-side were landed at the black Friers , whereby a Rout or rabble of ( little better then ) Rebells , they were violently taken from their Keepers rescued , and so got away that there was no finding of them in many weekes search and enquiry . But all these faire warnings could not make M. Walker give over writing , lying and Libelling , ( selling scurvy base words for good mony ) lodging in by places , holes and Cellars , till one time he was seene to goe into the house of another 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , one Fisher a Barber an Associate of his , but as some would have apprehended him , he made use of his 〈◊〉 , for at that time there was no Officer to be found to take him . From this second escape he 〈◊〉 into St. Martins , whither he was pursued , and where he had a Printers Presse at worke , but being not able to recover that house , he got into an Ale-house called the signe of the Castle , the owner of it ( as I have bin certified ) is one 〈◊〉 White , but from 〈◊〉 he was set free by the disorderly stir and force of some unruly 〈◊〉 Shoomakers ( who surely knew not what they did ) and this was his third escape . The newes of this caused more and more Warrants to be issued out for his 〈◊〉 ; and there was such narrow search made for him that he was 〈◊〉 of all his starting holes , and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 sculke no where secure , so 〈◊〉 he was faine to 〈◊〉 himselfe in the disguise of 〈◊〉 Minister 〈◊〉 a 〈◊〉 Cloak pendant to his 〈◊〉 , a spirituall 〈◊〉 , girt to him with a 〈◊〉 girdle and a Canonicall 〈◊〉 . With this Artificiall borrowed habit ( and some naturall impudence of his owne ) he presumed to mount into the 〈◊〉 , at Saint Mary 〈◊〉 , at 〈◊〉 in Southwark , where 〈◊〉 so handled a 〈◊〉 , and made such a preachment , that what with liking and 〈◊〉 the people were ready to goe together by the 〈◊〉 ; at 〈◊〉 time an Aldermans man ( 〈◊〉 curious to heare what stuff 〈◊〉 would vent ) was abused much , and beaten 〈◊〉 little . All this while his Majesty is justly and highly offended , that no 〈◊〉 is taken for the suppressing of 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , and in two 〈◊〉 at severall times from his Majesty to both the Houses of Parliament , he nominates Walkers Pamphlet of To your 〈◊〉 O 〈◊〉 : and indeed whosoever shall read that Text and consider the 〈◊〉 it did in the 〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉 , the Son of Salomon , in making 10. of the 12. 〈◊〉 to fall from the King to 〈◊〉 the Son of Nebat , ( they being both wicked Kings ) may thinke it 〈◊〉 strange piece of Scripture to be spoken , written , or 〈◊〉 in those 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 so mild and gracious a King , to 〈◊〉 or estrange the hearts of wavering 〈◊〉 from their 〈◊〉 . Well , great 〈◊〉 is made night and day , and 〈◊〉 having a house about 〈◊〉 , he forsakes it , and escapes when it was beset for him , from thence 〈◊〉 got into the Tower liberty 〈◊〉 an Upholsters 〈◊〉 in the 〈◊〉 ; and being heard of , new Warrants being 〈◊〉 for 〈◊〉 , he was 〈◊〉 in the said shop by one that knew him , and that he knew came to take him , wherefore by the helpe of two women there , he violently burst away , running towards the Tower Stayers , 〈◊〉 an Arrest , an Arrest , and so got into a 〈◊〉 , offering any gold or silver to be carried away . Thus 〈◊〉 he in the Boate almost a quarter of an 〈◊〉 ; hundreds or multitudes of people standing on the shore on the 〈◊〉 the Officers not daring to fetch him of the water least they should entrench upon the liberty of tho water Bayliffe , so that some would rescue him ( amongst whom two 〈◊〉 to be 〈◊〉 ) and doe 〈◊〉 to have a reward over the shoulders ; others would have him come on Land and yeeld 〈◊〉 : at last the Officers that were appointed to take him went to Sir Iohn 〈◊〉 Knight , Lieutenant of the Tower , 〈◊〉 crave his Command for taking him . Master Lieutenant presently sent his Clarke to the water side , upon whose comming the 〈◊〉 began to stowe away with 〈◊〉 ; then straite foure paire of 〈◊〉 made after them , who beleagured him on both sides , and with much 〈◊〉 brought him to Land , and into the Tower , where he now remaines , expecting his time of Tryall , and let him escape how he can or may , it is 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that 〈◊〉 hath done more mischiefe by his 〈◊〉 seditions , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Lyes and rayling Libells , then one thousand of his heads are worth . But now to come a little nearer , Henry Walker , who is now to be removed by a Warrant directed to the 〈◊〉 of the Tower , which was on Tuesday last being the fifth of this moneth of Iuly , 〈◊〉 have the body of this 〈◊〉 Walker to be removed to 〈◊〉 , and there at the 〈◊〉 house in the 〈◊〉 to have an Inditement framed and drawne up against 〈◊〉 said 〈◊〉 Walker , for the severall acts which he hath committed in and about London : the true Inditement being made by the advice of the Kings 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and Counsell at 〈◊〉 , was preferred against the said Walker on 〈◊〉 after being the eighth of the 〈◊〉 moneth , which being read openly in the Court , and Walker there present 〈◊〉 the Bar ; pleaded to the said ●●●●●tement not guilty ; and being 〈◊〉 how he would bee tryed , answered , by God and his Country , and withall further d●sired of the honourable Bench ; that he might first have a Coppy of his Inditement . Secondly , that the Iudges who were then present with the rest of the honourable Bench , that they would be pleased to 〈◊〉 him the liberty , in regard he knew not the Law , that he might 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Counsellor of the Law to plead his 〈◊〉 for him ; both which requests were granted to him which was a great favour . 〈◊〉 the Bench asked Walker what time he would require to make his 〈◊〉 then Walker 〈◊〉 but till the next day in the morning to make his defence , which was Friday ; Friday being come about ten of the clock the 〈◊〉 Attu●ney and two 〈◊〉 at Law , 〈◊〉 the Inditement to be read ; which 〈◊〉 done , they 〈◊〉 to shew and did make it plain how odious the matter was , and how it was a 〈◊〉 of a high nature ; first against his Majesty , to make him as it were odious to his people : To your Tents O 〈◊〉 ; as if the King were a Tyrant , bidding as it were every man to take his Sword and 〈◊〉 ; and oppose all Authority whatsoever , obeying no Law but that of their 〈◊〉 humour and will ; what can there be more said , but that 〈◊〉 was 〈◊〉 plaine , but that this Walker did by 〈◊〉 words labour to 〈◊〉 and stir up the Kings Subjects to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , and to cause tumults to 〈◊〉 in this Kingdome , nay in the heart of this Kingdome , in the City of London too ; not onely to teach these words , but to cause them at his owne charge to be printed , and to divulge the same through his Majesties Kingdomes : Nor did this Walker rest himselfe therewith satisfied , but in an 〈◊〉 way , and in a bold manner , as the Kings Majesty passed through the City of London riding in his Coach threw one of them into the very Coach it 〈◊〉 , and in the very face of the King ; what an affront was this ? can any age paralell it , or any Chronicle make mention of the like and in a Civill Common-wealth ; and in a well governed City ; I 〈◊〉 not : nor is this all for this Walker hath invented and writ divers Pamphlets , and other scandalous Bookes , to the great disturbance of his Majesty , and of 〈◊〉 Liege people , a 〈◊〉 sower of division , an upholder of a new 〈◊〉 ; an inventer of a new Doctrine , nay , he is become a 〈◊〉 and a deliverer of this his humour even in the Church , and openly in the Pulpit too , and on the Sunday : drawing after him , and seducing poore ignorant people to the very ruine of their soules , if it were possible . This act of his , it was done with much venome , malice , bitternes , and 〈◊〉 ; 〈◊〉 the time because the King and his Parliament were then at some difference , who did as much as in him lay to set his Majesty and his Subjects together at discord ; it was drawne with cunning , 〈◊〉 at such 〈◊〉 time published , that if envy itself had plotted it , it could not 〈◊〉 come forth in a more dangerous season . He confessed it was his owne worke , & 〈◊〉 by night ; and the next day by him exposed to sale : it was a foule 〈◊〉 , and it was published with an ill intent . Nay what is this 〈◊〉 not , what wrong hee hath done let his owne conscience , his severall Bookes and Pamphlets , which hee hath both written , made , and printed them himselfe witnesse . Well , the Jury heares the information , the severall pleadings , the severall Witnesses that this Walker was the onely framer , inventer , publisher , and disperser of that Booke 〈◊〉 your Tents O 〈◊〉 ; upon which severall Evidences , the Jury withdrawes themselves , ( being 12. honest men and of a good rank and quality ) to consider of the matter ; wch being truely weighed , and a long time debated and scanned , agreed all in one mind , calleth for Henry Walker to the Bar ; who being come to deliver their Verdict they all declared him by the voyce of their Fore-man to be guilty both of the Trespasse and of the misdemenour . He was convicted , 1. For writing of it . 2. For the composing of it . 3. For the publishing of it himselfe at the Printers house , and receiving money for them . Which done he had nothing to say for himselfe , nor his Counsell neither , but onely he did it not with an ill intent to 〈◊〉 any harme . And now he is heartily sorrowfull for it , and begs the Kings mercy , and the charitable censure of all men for his rashnesse & over-hot zeale ; especially of his sacred Majesty , whom he hath most offended ; and for his Majesties clemency to him , he will ever be bound to pray for him ; because his Majesty did give Command that his 〈◊〉 should not be put against him for Treason , but onely for a misdemenor ; wch if it had bin preferred for Treason , it might have bin as well found and have cost him his life , as for this fact of misdemenour ; and so I H. Walker am heartily forry , and desire God , his Majesty , and all his Majesties Subjects to forgive me , and by my example to forsake these private and secret meetings , or rather conventicles ; and so with 〈◊〉 I submit my selfe to the Law ; and the punishments whensoever it shall bee denounced and inflicted upon me . Dated the 12. of Iuly , 1642. FINIS 
A64220	----	The vvonder of a kingdom, dedicated to the iunto at VVestminster rascall reformers, snowie devills, behold the period of your evills ... Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64220 of text R31965 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T531). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 16 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64220 Wing T531 ESTC R31965 12282665 ocm 12282665 58780 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64220) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 58780) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1515:18) The vvonder of a kingdom, dedicated to the iunto at VVestminster rascall reformers, snowie devills, behold the period of your evills ... Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [8] p. s.n.], [London : 1648. Reproduction of original in the Harvard University Library. eng Great Britain -- History -- Civil War, 1642-1649. A64220 R31965 (Wing T531). civilwar no The vvonder of a kingdom, dedicated to the iunto at VVestminster rascall reformers, snowie devills, behold the period of your evills ... Taylor, John 1648 2980 4 0 0 0 0 0 13 C The rate of 13 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-06 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-08 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2002-08 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE WONDER OF A KINGDOME , Dedicated to the Iunto at VVestminster . Rascall Reformers , Snowie Devills , Behold the period of your evills Drawes nigh , ere yet the dogged starre Cease to inflame the Hemisphere You shall tast vengeance , and be sent To hell for ample punishment : Your blew-capt Brethren sweare they 'l be The whips shall yerk your treachery ; Your Navie's gone , your credit 's lost , Those are your foes , once lend you most Your Sumpter horses of the Citie , Cry Pox take this damn'd State-Committee : Your Army moulders , and from all Points of the compasse comes your fall . O strange ! the Ballad-makers dare To say , you Slaves and Traitors are , The Fates are just that made you thus Even to the Rusticks odious : Hobnailes and clouted shooes t' is you Are the brave boyes , the feat must do ; To your inraged fury we Leave Treason and Disloyalty . Printed in the Yeare . 1648. The wonder of a Kingdome . HArk ! how loud the Citizens murmur ! how rigidly the Countreyes complaine ! how deeply the Seamen threaten ! how resolutely the Scots resolve ! how wretchedly Fairfax and his Saints bemoane themselves ! and how desperately the Junto at Westminster ingage , blaspheming their God , and cursing their King ! what denotes all this ? This shewes great Charles not broken by his fall , Nor must be hurried to his Funerall Without resistance , since the peoples eyes Are fixed all upon his second rise , That conscience is not banish'd , law'gone post , That yet Astraea harbours in our coast ; That the Aegyptian States no Goshen have No patent for to shield them from the grave , But must wade to their Babell deep in blood , Which from each quarter swells into a flood : No passage for them to the Holy Land , Because the Red Sea does divided stand , If they would flie , the Sea must be their tomb And bury them in Amphitrites womb ; Providence irresistable hath decreed They shall scape water on the Land to bleed ; This shewes the fumes of bold ambition Makes their soules reele and dash against a stone , The Rocks of Charles his greatnesse splits the Knaves , They sinke , as if in the Agaean weaves : This shewes the City-Asse on whom doth ride , The two most curst co-partners , reason and pride , Is tir'd with eating thistles and would faine Feed at the Royall Manger once againe . This shewes the Seamen now will steere aright , And that the Saints 'gainst Colchester that fight , Of stormes and tempests have their bellies full , Since Lucas sported with a fiery Bull . This shewes the Iunto are assign'd to fall , And dogs shall celebrate their funerall ; This uncouth change , but happy Fate to see , May well the wonder of a Kingdome bee . Those shallow Sciolists , who like Materia prima , comprehend in their minds all variety of impressions , willingly part with their Ideas ; those Nomalists who taught we erred except wee went astray , now preach there can be no tranquility without Order and Discipline : those that had their hands chiefly in the setting up of the Dagon of Presbytery , now put to their whole strength to break it to pieces on the threshold of Ashod : those that were for a Parliament without a King , are now on fire to have a King without a Parliament ; those that worshipped Democracy , now adore Monarchy ; those that toare and rent the Booke of Common Prayer , now grow weary of praying , Ex tempore ; those that tearmed the Surplice the Whore of Babylons smock , now esteem it as the embleme of purity : those that would fly from a May-pole adorned with Garlands as from the droppings of an Alder-tree , now censure their own folly for condemning such indifferent objects ; those that taxed David of heresie for extolling the musick of the Church , now confesse the Organs yeeld a heavenly melody , and inspire the mind with celestiall Rhapsodies , those that formerly esteemed it no lesse then the highest Superstition , to kneel when they received the Sacrament of the Lords Body , now will not deny , but there ought to be reverence given , as well externall as internall : those that divulged it for horrible sinne to bow at the name of their dear Saviour , now will acknowledge , that is no more then is requisite : those that before preach'd it impiety to signe Infants with the seale of the Crosse , and were of opinion that they might baptize them themselves , even in their Chimney-corners , now cry out , that the Crosse is the Christians Badge , and that they have incurred the pains of hell for their horrid prophanation of that holy Sacrament , as even at this present , A Weaver in London , whose name I shall not divulge , because I hope the man ( if desperation do not too much get the upper-hand ) may yet be a faithfull and conformable member of the Church : this man a fiery Zealor of the Anabaptisticall Sect , of great reverence and esteem amongst them as one of their prime Prophets , whether out of a desire of glory , and to be of singular estimation amongst those of his fraternity , or whether the Devill ( which is most probbable ) forced him forwards to do an act which might confirme those erring Sectaries in their erroneous principles , and so to noose them yet faster : however it was , this fellow one night having invited at least 12. or 14. of those of his owne tribe , whom he thought were the most simple , and would the soonest be deluded with a falacy , to a supper , which they celebrated in an upper room , after all his guests were all seated , and began to fall to their meat , suddenly he begun to be in a wonderfull extasie , he writhed his face , roled his eyes , foamed at mouth , and seemed to be as one transported beyond himself to the great terrour & amazement of his simple friends whom he beckned with hands ( seeming ) not able to speak signifying they should kneel down to prayers the credulous coxcombs did so , trembling so extremely that their knees knockt one against another , suddenly beneath them they heard a rumbling terrible noise and withall many fatall shrieks and dreadfull groanes which almost put them beside their w●ts , ( as since they have confest ) their haire stood an end on their heads and they lookt each minute to be swallowed , the noise still continued , when the Weaver seemed a little to recover himselfe , after a while returning to his wanted temper he began to speak comfortably to his aguish brethren , exhorting them not to be daunted , this knowing , that none could come to any evill beneath his roofe , he having no lesse then an whole legion of Angells to wait upon him , and therefore he desired them to sit still ( if it were possible ) untroubled , au● he would presently make a discovery according as God had revealed un - to him : all which his comfortable sayings very little or nothing abated the feare of his quivering brethren , then he proceeded to read a chapter , which he told them was of sufficient efficacy to quell the furie of Devills and Serpents , after that he gave out a Psalme , requesting them to sing after him , which allas they were altogether unable to do , their jawes being almost torne in sunder by the hand of feare , at last after a most solemn invocation he stooped down , & in the name of God made inquirie , what Spirit or Angell of darknesse it was ; that caused that terrible tumult , after which words the noise and yellings greatly increased , and then on the sudden quite taken away , the murmuring sound of a drum was heard , the Weaver still plying his demands , received this answer . That the shade or Ghost of John Reinolds , that worthy man of God was come beneath his roofe , where he met with great opposition by divers damned soules , who inclosed him about with yelling noise whom he had now dissipated , they being the soules of such and such ( naming the party ) who had been greatly opposite against their way , and he was sent to tell him , that there was a great persecution shortly to be expected , against which he ought to arme himselfe , as also to advertize the whole Society , that it was the pleasure of the Lord that they should fight for the maintenance of their religion , which was signified by that drum , the noise whereof he heard ; after this was said , the spirit departed ; the Weaver turning him about to his guests , began to say unto them , brethren , you all see how acceptable my services are in the eyes of the Lord , that he is pleased to signifie his mind so largely unto me , all which you may declare unto our brethren , as you shall have occasion ? And so after some other talk the man departed home , and the next day they declared the wondrous things that had been and heard , which was occasioned thus , the Waver bound one of his Servants , by an oath of secresie never to reveal ( though since he hath broake it ) the stratagem , and with many gifts and faire promises hired him to place himselfe at that houre of the night between the boards , and the sealing , taking with him a cat whose leggs he had tied together with sharp pricks between , who upon his pulling of a string made a strange and horrid noise , with extremity of paine &c. Upon the rumor of this miraculous Revelation , the Weaver grew greatly to be esteemed of amongst those of his Society , till on a time his man betrayed the secret , which yet those pestilent Sectaries seek to hide for their credit sake , this fellow lately confessed of his owne accord , that he hath baptised many children by the fire side , for which his conscience now so much upbraids him , that he remaines distraught , crying out he is damnd , he is damnd , and must go to hell for ever and ever ; I hope the Reader will pardon this large digression , it being so pertinent to our discourse : I say this fellow finds how wretchedly he hath fooled himselfe even unto the brink of hell , and I hope he may yet live to be a penitent convert ; but to our matter , 't is very strange and wonderful to see how of late mens minds are come about , like mill horses ; they have gone round this seaven years , and are now arrived at the same station where first they set out . How fast at first the Hidra Multitude , Who neither are with wit , or sense indew'd ; Ran to their ruine , but let that fault die , And ever perish in a Lethargie : How are the Junto madded for to see Their soone regained love to Loyaltie ! This very thing strikes to their hearts more feare Then thunder in the trembling Indians eare : The people see their error , they not theirs , Since peace and loyalty are their equall fears ; And to speake truth , having primarily placed the cause in Gods Almighty & excellent providence , the Rebels have brought these calamities upon their perjured pates by their own greedy desire of Dominion , by their palpable treachery to his Majesty , and by their trampling upon , and squeezing the purses both of Peers and people to inrich their own paivate coffers , they could not be contented to keep their King in prison , contrary to all Laws both divine and humane , except they also murthered him , they could not be contented to thrust out all those their fellow-Members , that refused to joyn with them in their treasonable , perfidious , disloyal , bloody barbarous and unparallelled undertakings , unlesse they also sequestred their estates to a penny , exposing them to all manner of wants and miseries , yea somtimes to such penury , that they have been compelled to beg their means of life , they esteemed it not sufficient to draw in the people by a State-trick , to gull them into rebellion by faire and specious pretences , & buzzing in their ears false & needlesse jealousies , to the involving of them in a long & bloodie war , unlesse they also put bits in their mouths , & saddles on their backs , & getting astride upon them to ride them to death , they could not be contented to have abrogated all Law and equity , all judgment & justice , unlesse they also introducted all manner of illegall Impositions corrupted all Courts of Iudicature , perverted the course of Justice , & left the people ( in case of never so grievous an outrage ) without hope of any redresse , til the resurrection . It would astonish a man almost beyond belief , to cogitate from what an height those bloody Rebels are falne within the space almost of a month , in so little a time to forfeit what they had got together for the space of 7. years with infinite expence of blood and coine , is very strange & remarkable ; yea such a metamorphosis as could not have been wrought by any humane power , without Gods immediate providence , those that were Masters of a Kingdome some daies since , are now great in nothing but ther feares ; the Navies revolted ( as they call it ) or rather returned to the Allegiance they owe unto their King , that they sink not in that sea of blood in which they swam to their hopes , during the long and cruell warre , now have quite deserted them and wait but an opportunity to shew their teeth , the generallitie of the Kingdome , who for many years lookt upon them as Gods , now behold them as Devills , their brethren who have all along , kept a faire correspondency with them , and joyntly prosecuted the warre , now are come against them with their swords in their hands , resolving to take vengeance upon them as perfiddious Traytors , and trayterous miscreants , the reasons and grounds of this wonderfull change are these . First , when they ( being puft up with pride and over-weening thoughts ) imagined all was their owne by sea , as well as by land , would needs new moddell the Navie , put forth and put in whom they listed , issuing out all orders and signing all their mandates in their owne name ( a villanie never attempted by any but them , not so much as naming his Majesties Person or Power , the Masters Captaines and Marriners of Ships took it in extream dungeon now perceiving their intents were in all things to make themselves a free state , first they murmurred in private after they took sides , and lastly openly declared themselves against the treachery of the Rebells , turned the Skippers boy Rainsbro●ugh their mock admirall on shore set saile for Holand to proffer their service to their true Admiral the Duke of York , protesting to live and die for his Majesty , in which condition they now remaine at present . Secondly , the Citizens of London having a long season like Fooles and Knaves hazzarded their lives and drained their Estates , for defending and usurped greatnesse perceiving now at last that they have but nourished Serpents in their bosomes who vallew them no longer then they may prey upon them , and have left them in the lurch without performance o● the least thing they romised , leaving them open to the outrages of a plundering bloodie Sectarian Army , they resolve no longer to be the protectors of such villanies , but to repent of what they have done restraine their aid for the future , and to pull downe the aspiring Nimrods , from the top of their greatnesse . With them the Kingdome do combine , And all the Ellements do joine : Brave Cittizens stand firme and wee Will soone restore his Majestie . Shall Colchester alone win praise , And shall not London share the baies ? Joyne hands and hearts , to pluck downe those , Are both the Kings , and Kingdomes foes ; And let the after Ages tell We sank these Traytors into hell . Even when with pride their souls did reel Even when they grasped fortunes wheel ; Sink Traytors sink , for in your fall , Our pressures have their funerall . FINIS . 
A64221	----	The world turn'd upside down, or, A briefe description of the ridiculous fashions of these distracted times by T.J., a well-willer to King, Parliament, and kingdom. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64221 of text R8264 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T532). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 11 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64221 Wing T532 ESTC R8264 13730373 ocm 13730373 101608 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64221) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 101608) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 852:34) The world turn'd upside down, or, A briefe description of the ridiculous fashions of these distracted times by T.J., a well-willer to King, Parliament, and kingdom. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [8] p. Printed for John Smith, London : 1647. In verse. Written by John Taylor. Cf. BM. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. eng A64221 R8264 (Wing T532). civilwar no The vvorld turn'd upside down: or, a briefe description of the ridiculous fashions of these distracted times. By T.J. a well-willer to King, [no entry] 1647 1890 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-09 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2001-11 TCP Staff (Michigan) Sampled and proofread 2001-11 TCP Staff (Michigan) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2001-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE World turn'd upside down : OR , A briefe description of the ridiculous Fashions of these distracted Times . By T. I. a well-willer to King , Parliament and Kingdom . London : Printed for Iohn Smith . 1647. The VVorld turned up-side-down . THe Picture that is printed in the front Is like the Kingdom , if you look upon 't : For if you well do note it as it is , It is a Transform'd Metamorphosis . This monstrous Picture plainely doth declare This Land ( quite out of order ) out of square : His breeches on his shoulders do appeare , His doublet on his lower parts doth weare ; His boots and spurs upon his armes and hands , His gloves upon his feet , ( whereon he stands ) The Church o're-turn'd , ( a lamentable show ) The Candlestick above , the light below ; The Cony hunts the Dogge , the Rat the Cat , The Horse doth whip the Cart , ( I pray marke that ) The Wheelbarrow doth drive the man ( oh base ) And Eeles and Gudgeons flie a mighty pace . And sure this is a Monster of strange fashion , That doth surpasse all Ovids Transformation . And this is Englands case this very day , All things are turn'd the clean contrary way ; For now , when as a royall Parliament , ( With King , and Peers , and Commons whole consent ) Have sate above six years , with paines and cares , And charge , to free us from our griefs and feares ; For when many a worthy Lord and Knight , And good Esquire ( for King , and Countreyes Right ) Have spent so much time with great toyle , and heed , All Englands Vicious garden how to weed . So like a Wildernesse 't was over-runne , That though much hath been done ; all is not done . The Devill doth perswade , entice and lurke , And force bad men to set good men aworke . That whilst the Worthies strive to right our wrongs , And give to each man , what to him belongs ; Whil'st they take paines to settle all things heere , An Irish Devill doth madly domineere . From Hells blacke Pit , begirt with Romish Armes , Thousands of Locusts are in Troups and Swarmes , More barbarous then the Heathens , worse then Iewes , Nor Turkes or Tartars would such tortures use , Sure that Religion can no waies bee good , That so inhumanely delights in Blood : Nor doth that Doctrine from the Scriptures spring , For to rebell against God and the King . Nay ( further ) murder , ravish , spoile , deflowre , Burne and lay wast depopulate , devoure , Not sparing Infants at the breast or wombe , ( To die where first they liv'd , their birth , their tombe ) 'T is said no Serpent , Adder , Snake , or Toade , Can live in Ireland or have their aboade : 'T is strange that she those Vipers doth not kill , That gnawes her bowells , and her blood doth spill , Can Irish Earth kill all things venemous , And can shee nurse such Vermin Mischievous : Her owne sonnes Native , worse then strangers borne , They have their Mothers Entrailes rent and torne , Yet still her indulgencie , harbours those , And feeds those Rebells that do breed her woes : God ( in thy mercie ) give her strength and ayd , And courage , make her foes and ours dismay'd , Thou Lord of Hosts , thine owne cause take in hand , Thy foes ( thine Antichristian foes ) withstand ; Defend thy truth , and all our Armies guide ; Our Enemies to scatter and devide . Thus leaving Ireland ( with my hearty prayers ) To Btitaine backe againe my Muse repaires : Where I perceive a Metamorphosis , Is most preposterous , as the Picture is , The world 's turn'd up-side-downe , from bad to worse Quite out of frame , The Cart before the Horse . The Felt-maker , and sawcie stable Groome Will dare to pearch into the Preachers roome ; Each Ignorant , doe of the Spirit boast , And prating fooles brag of the Holy Ghost , When Ignoramus will his Teacher teach , And Sow-gelders and Coblers dare to preach , This shewes , mens wits are monstrously disguis'd , Or that our Countrey is Antipodis'd . When as the Lords Prayer is almost neglected , And all Church . Government is quite rejected , When to avoid a Romish Papists name , A man must be unmannerly , past shame , When he that doth shew reverence , doth offend , And he seemes best , that will not bow or bend , When he that into Gods House doth not come , As to a Stable , or a Tipling Roome , Is counted for a Popish Favorite , And branded so , despis'd , and scorn'd with spite . When he that ( of his waies ) doth conscience make , And in his heart doth world , flesh , seind forsake , Loves God with all his soule ; adores no pelfe , And loves his Neighbour , as he loves himselfe ; This man is rare to finde , yet this rare man Shall have the hatefull name of Puritan : When execrations pierce the firmament , And oathes doe batter 'gainst heavens battlement : When imprecations , and damn'd blasphemies , In sundry cursed volleys , scale the skies , When men more bruitish then the Horse or Mule , Who know not to obey , presume to rule , Thus Church and Common-wealth , and men , all are ( Much like the Picture ) out of frame or square . And if 't were possible our fathers old Should live againe , and tread upon this mould , And see all things confused , overthrowne , They would not know this Countrey for their own . For England hath no likelihood or show Of what it was but seventy years ago ; Religion , manners , life , and shapes of men , Are much unlike the people that were then , Nay , Englands face , and language is estrang'd , That all is Metamorphis'd chop'd , and chang'd , For like as on the Poles the World is whorl'd , So is this Land the Bedlam of the World ; That I amazed , and amated am , To see Great Britain turn'd to Amsterdam , Mens braines and wits ( two simples beat together ) From thence , mix'd and compounded , are sent hither . For Amsterdam is landed ( as I heare ) At Rye , or Hastings , or at Dover Peere , At Harwich , Ipswich , Sandwich , or at Weymouth , And at Portsmouth , Dartmouth , Plymouth , Falmouth , At Yarmouth , and at the Ports of Tinmouth , And Westward unto Bristow , and to Monmouth ; From all these Mouthes , and more , mad sects are sent , Who have Religion all in pieces rent , One would have this , another would have that , And most of them would have they know not what . God give us peace , and ease us of our paine , And send those Sects , from whence they came againe . The Papist and the Schismatique ; both grieves The Church , for shee 's like Christ ( between two Thieves ) I tooke the Covenant twice of late , Where I protested not to innovate . T' avoid all Popish Rite , and to express Obedience to what Englands Church profess , My Loyalty unto my King is bent With duty to the Peeres and Parliament , With Prayers , and my best service for them all , That on them may heavens chiefest blessing fall , That with one heart , as one man , with one mind , ( For Gods great glory ) they may be combinde , And never vary , but go boldly on , To end the good worke which they have begun . This is the Sum ( with ne'er shall be forsooke ) Of what I in the Covenant have tooke , But , for all this , I may be mannerly In Gods House , and be free from Papistrie ; I hope I may put off my hat , and bee Allow'd to kneel , and pray , and bow my knee , When as divine Command bids , onely then I le bow to God , and not to Saints or Men , And from those duties I will never vary , Till death , or order do command contrary . Th' Almighties Name be ever prais'd and blest , That Romish Superstition is supprest , We have no Abbies , Abbots , Friars or Monks , Nor have we Nuns , or Stews allow'd for Punks , We have no Masses , nor no Mas-Priests heere , But some are hang'd , and some are fled for feare . All those that are so bold to stay behind , I wish they may like entertainement find ; Beades , Bables , Relliques , Tapers , Lamps or Lights , We have no superstitious Romish Rites , We seeke our Pardons from our heavenly hope , And not by workes or favour from the Pope ; To Saints we make no prayer or intercession , And unto God alone we make Confession ; We hold no reall Presence in the Bread . And wee doe know King Charles our supreame head ( Beneath God , who hath plac'd him in his Throne ) For other Supreame , we acknowledge none . No purgatory , Image , Wood , or Stone , No Stocke , or carved Blocke , we trust upon , Nor is our Church discretion here so little , As to baptize with creame , with salt and spittle . We have as many Sacraments , as Heaven Ordain'd ; which are but two , and Rome hath seven . We doe not christen Bells , and give them Names Of Simon , Peter , Andrew , Iohn , and Iames ; We use no Pilgrimage , or Holy-water , Nor in an unknowne tongue our prayers scatter ; All these , and many more , in Rome are us'd , Which are by us rejected and refus'd . And yet too many faults , alas remaines , Which are the Churches , and the Kingdomes staines , The Church Tryumphant is most cleare from spots , The poore Church Militant hath still some blots , Here 's all unperfect , something 's still amisse , And nothing's bleft , but in Eternall Blisse . Meane time , till wee amend , and leave our crimes , The Picture is the Emblem of the times . FINIS . 
A64222	----	Taylors arithmetick from one to tvvelve with a sollid discourse betweene yesterday, to-morrow, to-day, & a lover. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64222 of text R38798 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T533A). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 25 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 9 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64222 Wing T533A ESTC R38798 18148784 ocm 18148784 106850 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64222) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 106850) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1132:5) Taylors arithmetick from one to tvvelve with a sollid discourse betweene yesterday, to-morrow, to-day, & a lover. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 16 p. [s.n.], London printed : 1653. Attributed to John Taylor by Wing and NUC pre-1956 imprints. In verse. Imperfect: cropped and stained, with print show-through and loss of print. Reproduction of original in the Huntington Library. eng A64222 R38798 (Wing T533A). civilwar no Taylors arithmetick, from one to tvvelve. With a sollid discourse betweene yesterday, to-morrow, to-day, & a lover. Taylor, John 1653 4206 49 0 0 0 2 0 164 F The rate of 164 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the F category of texts with 100 or more defects per 10,000 words. 2002-10 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-11 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-01 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2003-01 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion TAYLOR●… ARITHMETICK . FROM ONE to TWELVE . WITH A Sollid Discourse BETWEENE YESTERDAY , TO-MORROW , TO-DAY , & A LOVER , LONDON , Printed in the Yeare , 16●● Taylors ARITHMETICK , &c. 0 00 000 0000 00000 000000 IN the first line you nought but Cyphers ●…ee ▪ 10 100 1000 10000 100000 1000000 ▪ But ( adding One ) they more then Cyphers bee : And take that One from them , what are they then ? Just nothing ( Cyphers ) as they were agen . So some who were but Cyphers in estate , One set before them rais'd them to some rate , To tens , to hundreds , thousands , thousands ten , From Cyphers unto millions , mounted men . One rais'd up Numbers , Numbers laid One low ▪ Thus ( with Vicissitude ) goes weale and woe : Now that One 's gone , some are left bare and p●…r , Just nothing , Cyphers , wanting One before ▪ And is it but for One we make this moan ▪ ( Before us now are many more then One ) But One did make me something , then I had Supportance from One to be fed and clad ; But many ( many sins ) a Cypher made me : Just nothing ( nothing ) ten years hath been paid me , Coyne is mans earthly life , life's Nerves and Si●●wes And I should have some from the Crowns Rev●… , For which I 've su'd , a●…d su'd , but have it not ; The fau●…t 's not mine , 't is my unlucky lot . And I might seek again ( if I were mad , ) And have as much as formerly I had ; Were I as free from want as cleare from hate , I would not with an Alderman change state : But cares and wants in Troups assault me thick , Past numbring with my poore ARITHMETICK . Thus upon One a little I have plaid , Zet more of One a little must be said . The Father 's One , One likewise is the Son , The Holy Ghost One , and all three but One . One Faith there is , ( he that hath two hath none ) And in the Firmament One Sun , One Moone . Man hath One soule , one Corps , One head , one brain , One Tongue , One heart , ( some very Knaves have twain ) One Life , ( one span ) if one inch more it be , It stretches to unmeasur'd misery : The World 's but One , and that 's a Cypher round , And nothing but a Cypher 't will be found , All shall lose , All do lose , all have lost , Who shall , doth , hath the false world trusted most . If in Jerusalem One man had bin , That had lov'd God , and striv'd to shun all sin , Th' Almighty on them would compassion take , And spare the City for that One mans sake ; But as the Psalmist truly made his moane , The Lord beheld none doth good , no not ONE . On the number Two . Two Natures the most High , most bl●…st did beare , The Godhead great , the Manhood pure and cleare . Man hath two substances , both soyl'd and ●…oule , A body cloy'd with crimes , a sinfull soule ) He hath Two Eyes to see , Two Eares to heare , Two hands to work , Two legs the rest to beare , He hath Two choices , Life , Death , Good or ill , ( Yet hath no free will to chuse which he will ) Mans will to chuse the good , and ●…un the 〈◊〉 . Two lives , Two deaths , Two temporall , Two eternall , Two wayes from hence , Coelestiall , and Infernall . I could speak more of Two , and more of One , But Three calls for me , and I must be gone . On the number Three . Three is that blessed Trinity , and I Do beg the blessing of that Trinity . Three times the Apostle Paul with Rods was beaten , And Three times suffered Shipwrack , death did threaten , Three are the Graces Theologicall , ( Or Vertues call'd Divine Coelestiall ) Faith is the Creed , and who so holds that fast , Hope ( the Lords Prayer ) Gods gift will crown at last , And Charity obediently presents Her service in the Ten Commandements : Th●…se Three are th' Handmaids of Salvation ; These guide men what to do , or leave undone . On the number Foure . The Foure Evangelists , the Story pen'd Of him who ne're began , and ne're shall end : His low discending , his high Pedigree , His Innocence , wondrous works , and misery ; His suffrings , and his bitter Death and Passion , To free poor sinners from deserv'd Damnation . Foure Vertues Cardinall , Justice , Fortitude , Prudence , and Temperance , these Foure include All mans perfection here , from these proceeds Th' effects of our best thoughts , our words and deeds ▪ Foure quarters of the World , are Asia , With Affrick , Europe , and America ▪ 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 E●…t 〈◊〉 South , and Su●…-set West . Foure seasons round about the yeare doth bring , The Summer , Autumn , Winter , and the Spring . Foure Elements , Fire , Water , Earth are three , And th' Aire ( unseen ) which no man e're did see . Foure Dispositions , Dry , Moist , Hot , and Cold . Foure strange Complexions , ( humerous manifold , ) Intemperate Sanguine , Lazy Phlegmatick , Sad mad Melancholy , rash Cholerick , And various mixtures of those foure Complextions , Possesseth us with contrary affections ; And which of these foure humours are most in us , The same to Vice or Vertue still doth win us ; And were there not worse Knaves then foure i th' Cards , ( I mean no Dukes , or Dons , or Lords , or Lards ) The grieved peoples plaints had not been such , And Englands miseries not halfe so much . Thus having done with Foure , I think it meet , To fall to worke on Five to Fill my sheet . On the number Five . Blest He ( whose Grace and Glory hath no bounds ) For 's Enemies receiv'd Five mortall wounds . Curst he that with both tongue and teeth doth teare That glorious Name , and by those Wounds do sweare , And forsweare too ; those cursed sons of Caine , Do Crucifie Christ every day againe . He that 's the Bread of life , the living Bread , He that Five thousand men with Five loaves fed , He whom Five Virgins wisely waited on , With Oyle in Lamps : Five foolish ones had none . Five Sences in our body he hath plac'd , ●…o Heare , to See , to Smell , to Touch , to Taste ; But all those Senses senslesse men do use ▪ The gracious giver of them to abuse . Men never were more cruell , mercilesse , Never more Pride , or vain voluptuousnesse ▪ Hypocrisie is mask'd in Robes of Zeale , And Avarice preyes on this Nations weale . Blinde fortune in her wisdome thought it fit , To give some all , and many nere a whit : Though times be dangerous for an honest man ; With Gods help I 'le passe through all as I can . And thus my fingers Five do make an end With Five , because on Six I must attend . On the number Six . Six I 'le be briefe with , for my mind I fix , To write more large of Seven and short of Six . Six dayes th' Almighty did preordinate , To be the time the whole world to create : He said but Let there be , and every thing Was made for Man , and he made Man sole King Of all the Creatures , but he quickly fell , He against God rebel'd , all things rebell Against him for 't , he'th lost both Grace , and pl●…ce In Paradice , and all his wretched Race Unto his sinne Originall are Heires , Increas'd still with the actuall sins of theirs . For which the Curse was , Man his bread should eate , With Six daies worke in Seven with toyle and sweat ▪ On the number Seven . Since the Creation still ( from Age to Age ) Seven is a number of most high presage : Amongst all dayes the Seventh was chiefest blest , A resting Sabbath , type of endlesse rest ▪ The Planets ( in their revolutions ) s●…ven . The 7 Starres in the Firmament of Heaven . Pharaoh's 7 ( dream'd leane Kine devour'd 7 fat , And want and plenty Joseph found by that . Yea more than forty times Leviticus Doth in 6 Chapters mention 7 to us . Six times Eliahs man went out in vaine , He went the seventh time , and brought newes of Raine . Seven Priests , 7 times did with 7 trumpets blow , And then fell down the walls of Jericho King David 7 times every day did praise The Lord for 's judgements just , and righteous wayes . Th'Assyrian Naaman ( at the Prophets word ) Did wash himselfe 7 times in Jordans Ford , Because he did the Seers command obey , His loathsome Leprosie was cur'd straightway . The Widdowes 7 sons in the Maccabees , In liv●…s and deaths renown'd for constancies . Pe●●●ions 7 taught by our Lord Supernall , Include 〈◊〉 blessings , temporall and eternall , Christ ( in compassion ) in his Passions grief , Spake 7 sweet words to the believing Thiefe ; Then he who paid our great Redemptions price . Said , this day shalt thou be in Paradice : These 7 words were Celestiall Gileads Balme , Midst storms of death and hell , a blessed calm . One said to Christ , shall I forgive him free , That hath done 7 offences against mee ? The answer was , those that will happy live , Must 7 and seventy times ( and more ) forgive : Thus seven times seventy plainly doth expresse . If man remit , God quits sins numberlesse . Seven Asian Churches in the Revelation , Seven Angells in them to preach mans salvation . Seven golden Candlesticks , with heavenly light , To guide us from the wrong way to the right : These sevens , and many more each man may view , In Gods two Testaments , the Old and New , Man hath seven Ages , first his Infancy , Puerillity , Mans state , Youth , Gravity , Old age , and state decrepit , these seven are From Birth to Buriall our appointed share ; And every seventh yeare we may justly call Our lifes division Clymactericall : And nine times seven , of years are sixty three , Mans dangerous age , and death as oft we see . And ten times seven amounts to seven times ten , Just Davids span the common age of men : Thrice seven years past that time , some may survive , Till griefe and sorrow unto death them drive . Seven are the Sciences , so call'd indeed , Because from them all other Arts proceed . Seven are the deadly sinnes , whose root and stem Grew first in hell , and all sins else from them . Seven were the wisest men ere Gotham had , But England hath seven thousand sevens as mad . Seven Sages ●…nce in Greece renown'd , admir'd For wisdome , ( in these times not much desir'd , ) Rome once had seven wise Masters , they are dead . Seven thousand Knaves and Fools left in their stead ▪ Seven Wonders had the world since it began , But the eighth wonder were a righteous man . Seven Saxon Kings this Kingdome once obey'd , But ne're had peace , till one the Scepter sway'd . Of Sacraments the Roman Church hath seven , H●…re onely two directs the way to heaven . A holy Prophet long ago fore told , Seven Women should upon one man take hold . Which Prophesie is very near fulfil'd . By bloudy wars thousands of men are kill'd . By Sea and Land death doth to men befall , Besides the common way that 's naturall ; Males are in multitudes of life bereft , That one man for seven Womens scarcely left . The Seven Electors at an Emperours choice . Are Seven to make up a prevailing Voice . Seven years Apprentiship the Law ordain'd . Whereby men have their freedoms here obtain'd . On the number Eight . When the old World was drown'd , Eight then surviv'd , And from those Eight the new World was deriv'd . On the number Nine . 'T is plainly and undoubtedly exprest , Nine sorts of people certainly are best . Ingratitude Nine Leapers did defile , Their Leaprosie was not so loathsome Vile . Nine are the Muses and the Poets blisse , They make him sing his minde a Kingdome is ; But in that Kingdom 's not one foot of ground , Or any thing esteem'd if it be found ; The pur-blinde world , and Fortune holds it fit , That Reverend wealth should make a Foole of Wit ; Because each Poet wants a good Mecoenas , I live and lack , and wander like a leane Asse . On the number Ten. The Ten Commandments are the Law Divine . ( To keep those Lawes , good Lord our hearts incline ; ) But from those Ten , should Ten men each pluck one , 'T is to be fear'd that left we should have none . The Atheist ( which the Psalmist foole doth call ) As he believes will have no God at all . Th' Idolater will stock , block , Idols have To save him , though themselves they cannot save . The Roarer that delights to damn and sweare , From the Commandments he the third would teare ▪ The Sabbath-breaker would pluck out the fourth , The fifth with Rebels is of little worth , The sixth the Murtherer would stab and wound , The seventh the hot Adult'rer would confound , The Thiefe would steale the eighth away , and then False witnesse spoyle the ninth : and for the ten , The Wretch that 's coveteous would rend and bite , And pluck the rest in pieces if be might . Thus would these Ten ( this cursed Catalogue ) Each race out one , and spoile the Decalogue . On the number Eleven . Man seems to know ( by Art and study great ) Eleven long steps from th'Earth to Gods blest seat : The first step to the Moone , and secondly , He mounts unto the sphere of Mercury : The third staire he to Venus Orb doth soare : And fourthly , to the Sun make one step more : The fifth to Mars , the sixth to Jupiter : The seventh to Melancholy Saturns sphere : Eighthly to th' fixed stars 〈◊〉 ascends on high : And ninthly to the Primum Mobile ▪ The tenth step to the Heav'n cal'd Christaline : And last where never ending glories shine . Here 's knowledge with mans Ignorance so tainted . He nothing knows , nor with himselfe 's acquainted . On the number Twelve . Twelve Patriarks , Twelve Prophets , and Twelve Tribes , These sacred Twelves the holy Writ describes . Twelve Gates hath heavenly new Jerusalem , Each Gate 's a whole Pearle ( unvalued jem : ) Twelve thousand Furlongs , the Walls are , foure square , And in each square three of those Pearle Gates are . Twelve Angels , Twelve Apostles , Twelve Foundations , That all Believers from all Lands and Nations May enter there , from North , South , East , and West , And there be glorifi'd with endlesse Rest : God grant the Writer , and this Reader may Keep there an everlasting Holy-Day . Those blessed Twelves in Twelve lines I have Pen'd . And thus my poor ARITHMETICK doth END . Too late to call back YESTERDAY : AND To MORROW Comes not Yet . The words fancied in a Dialogue , supposed between a LOVER and the DAY . Lover . HO ▪ Yesterday . Yesterday . Who calls ? Lo. A Lover . Yest . Why ? Lov. Deare Yesterday come back . Yest . Lover , not I. I dare not so transgresse against Times Glasse . Lov. One word — but one word . Yest . Not one , let me pass . Lov. By the Dews that deck'd thy Locks : By thy Heards , and by thy Flocks : By Times oft well-taken Lock : By the Swallow , by the Cock : By the dainty languag'd Lark : By every thing that hates the Dark : good Yesterday come back . By thy faire and lovely face : And by the Sun which gave that grace : Sweet Yesterday come back . Yest . What should I doe ? Lov. I gave my Mistris vows , nay , and tears too ; Bring them all back , for ( O sad truth to say ! ) She seem'd true then , I finde her false to Day . Yest . What 's this to me ? their griefs they past cure find Who ( to give Love Eyes ) strike their Reason blind . Lov. I stain'd thy faire face with a foul sin , bri●… but that then back . Yest . Foole ! hope for no such thing : Go grieve , go weep , and let thy tear-stain'd face Court Mercy , and beget thee new to Grace : For , to repent is ne're too late , all say ; But 't is too late to call back YESTERDAY . Lov. Why then ( my blinded Reason to restore ) I 'le leave to Love , and love to sin no more . To Morrow comes not Yet . Lov. Since then YESTER●…Y is gone , TO MORROVV wing thee , haste come on . To Mor. I must not looke to Day i' th face . Lov. Yet good To Morrow mend thy pace . To Mor. I dare not . Lov , Why ? To Mor. If I too swiftly passe , I presse Times Sand too hard , and break his Glasse . Lov. By my hopes to thee extended : By the fears of men condemned : By the Joyes thou bringst along : By the Griefes that with thee throng : By the promis'd meetings made : By the money thou 't see paid : By their gladness that receive it : By their sadnesse that do leave it : By those sweet Maids languishings : To whose beds thine Evening brings : Kinde Husband , good To Morrow make haste . To Mor. Why ? Lo. Shall I tell thee merrily ? With thee my Lands comes to my hands , and sums of money store ; With thee I 'le Laugh , Caper and Quaffe , and never ●…de a Mistresse more . To Mor. This hastes not me , I must perforce refuse thee : Better not see , then see me and abuse me . Lov. Why then , To Morrow , make a friendly haste , And my wild , rough , old Will , I will new cast : I that To Day am practis'd in the Trade Of sin . I will To Morrow be new made : Therefore to Morrow make haste . To Mor. Thus some say : We are found worse To Morrow then To Day . When Verbalists subdue our easie Trust . We Plough in Sand , and write our hopes in dust : Dissembler cease , swift vowes we soon forget ; Repent To Day , To Morrow comes not Yet . Lo. Why then ( to shun succession of my sorrow ) I 'le be new made To Day , yet mend To Morrow . To Day , while I may . Lov. Well ●…et to Day , Why such grea●… haste ? To Day . To please The longing eyes of the Antipodes . Yesterday ▪ s their Day , in joy and sorrow , And I that am thy Day , I am theirs to-morrow : The round-fac'd wo●…ld is look'd on by us three , ! I pursue yesterday , to-morrow mee . Lov. Yet good To-Day do not so swiftly slide By the Causes this Day tride By thy Beauty ; and by all Thy dainty deckings ; by the fall Of thy sweet fertile showers ; and by Thy againe unclouded eye : By the Birds that sing thy grace , By the Windes that fanne thy face ; By thy foure and twenty steps , By thy minutes active leaps , By my intended goodnesse ; and By times strict observed sand ; Since 't is too late ( as all men say ) To call back gadding yesterday , And since to-morrow comes not yet , To my paine a Period set Being left alone to thee Good to-day stay , be kinde , and pity mee . To-Day . And why ( important Pleader ) should I stay ? Lov. I feel another change , me-thinks , To-Day ; My soules deare Lover calls for me , his choice , And I desire To-Day , to heare his voyce : Inlarge not then my griefes by thy neglect , But let my high cause court thy kind res●…ect . To-Day . This stops not me . farewell . I ●…st away . Lovers call for me past America . Lov. Why then deare Lover of my soule , ( Since I cannot Times controle ) Seek thy sheep , lost in this worlds brackey ●…round , Seek him that doth desire to be found . Christ . Why wood'st thou me ? have sinners hope ●…o speed ? Lov. True Lord , a sinner , yet a broken Reed . Chr. Thy life is spotted , foule , and black as night ; Lov. True Master , but thy life was Virgin-white ; By thy love , my hearts delight , By thy unmatch'd excellence , By thy victorious patience , By thy comely silence , when Thou ( my God ) wer 't scorn'd of men , By that sweet and saving look Thou didst cast back on Peter , book Me in thy mercy ▪ let thy Grace abound , Seek him that doth desire to be found . Chr. Tell me , oh thou for whom I bled , I see A Majesty in thy humility ; And there fore tell me , my lost sheep , be true , And tell me where thou feed'st , a tear or two Will bring thee back ; or if thou 'rt gone astray , I le send a voyce behind thee , that shall say , This is the way walk in 't . Lov. I am not in A Spicy Garden , but a Sea of Sin ; I feed not Lord among the Lillies ; no . I feast with mine own follies : Since 't is so , That yesterday I was lost in this ground , And being not sure to-morrow to be found , Dear Master and good Shepheard mind thy gaines , Finde me to day , ●…d take me for thy paines . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A64222e-110 Mat. 25. Gen. 41. As the 12. 13 , 14 , 15 , 16. 23 25. 1 King. 18 44. Josh 6. Psa. 15. 164. 2 King . 〈◊〉 . 2 Mac. 7. Luk 23. 43. Isai. 4. 1. Mat. 5. Luk 17. Rev. 21. 
A67888	----	The Irish footman's poetry, or, George the rvnner against Henry the walker, in defence of Iohn the Swimmer being a sur-rejoinder to the rejoinder of the rusty ironmonger who endeavored to defile the cleare streames of the water-poet's Helicon / the author George Richardson ... Richardson, George, fl. 1641. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A67888 of text R2346 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing R1383 T471). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 12 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 6 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A67888 Wing R1383 Wing T471 ESTC R2346 11950177 ocm 11950177 51368 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A67888) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 51368) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 516:32 or 546:8) The Irish footman's poetry, or, George the rvnner against Henry the walker, in defence of Iohn the Swimmer being a sur-rejoinder to the rejoinder of the rusty ironmonger who endeavored to defile the cleare streames of the water-poet's Helicon / the author George Richardson ... Richardson, George, fl. 1641. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 9 p. s.n.], [London : 1641. Attributed to George Richardson by Hazlitt. Attributed to John Taylor by Wing. In verse. Item at reel 546:8 identified as Wing R1383 (number cancelled). Reproduction of original in Huntington Library and Cambridge University Library. eng A67888 R2346 (Wing R1383 T471). civilwar no The Irish footman's poetry. Or George the runner, against Henry the walker, in defence of Iohn the Swimmer. Being a sur-rejoinder to the rej Taylor, John 1641 1949 1 0 0 0 0 0 5 B The rate of 5 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-11 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-02 TCP Staff (Oxford) Sampled and proofread 2002-02 TCP Staff (Oxford) Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-03 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE IRISH FOOTMAN'S POETRY . OR GEORGE THE RVNNER , AGAINST HENRY THE WALKER , In defence of Iohn the Swimmer . Being A Sur-rejoinder to the Rejoinder of the rusty Ironmonger , who endeavoured to defile the cleare streames of the Water-Poet's Helicon . The Author GEORGE RICHARDSON , an Hibernian Pedestrian . Printed in the yeare 1641. TO GEORGE RICHARDSON HIS CVRRANT FRIEND IN any part of the Kings Dominions . NO more ( friend George ) shall wee see Thee marching in the Infantr'ie , Now , thou hast gotten greater force , And mounted on the winged Horse , After no charriot thou shalt runne Henceforth , but that of Phaeton . H. F. To GEORGE RICHARDSON the Pedestrian Poet . WHen first thy lines I read , I did admire Them like the learning of Promethean fire ; For he , who knowes thee have so little Art Could thinke that nature should so much impart To raise thee to the height to vindicate Th'Aquatique Poet , from the furious hate Of weavers , tinkers , ( through the nose that whistle ) Ironmongers , and Brethren of the bristle ? Now trust me George , this work deserves such praise , That not to us but unto after dayes 'T will say thou wer`t a Poet of a maw , As great , as thy great namesake of the Law . W. B. To my ingenuous Countryman the Authour . 'T Is stranger you would goe swift pac'd steps forsak And rest a strangers taske to undertake Doubtles you meane to ride hence forth ; this matter , Deserves a horse , if not to ride by water . T. LL. GEORGE RICHARDSON the Authour to the most ingenious aquatique Poet Mr: JOHN TAYLOR . SIr though a stranger to your selfe , your worth Is knowne to me , by what you have set forth ; And though I cannot judge , yet I admire The lively flames of your Phaebean fire ; Which wise-men doe approve , none doe deprave , But such as know not fancy , as this slave ; Rusty , as his old iron , dull , as stone , Or th'anvill , that his ware is wrought upon . Who stupid slave ( by what hee never writ But bought for 's money ) your undoubted wit , Would call in question , Sir , my infant muse ( Seing this slave persist in his abuse ; And knowing , 't would a great dishonour bee For you to match your ingenuity With his notorious folly , ) speedily Did undertake to make a swift reply . Which ( soone as my employment did allow Mee time ) in two houres space , I did run through . Upon the title of Walkers Booke . BEhold the Master peice of Walker's wit , Fancying his friend the Divell here at shit . Who first with malice did inspire his breast , And then his first Bookes matter did suggest . But t' is some silly fiend ( as sure as day ) The same perhaps was made an Asse i' th play Long since , but I 'me deceiv'd , there 's much brave wit I' th play , but Walkers bookes have none of it . What are they fit for then , that onely raile ? Naught , but to wipe his shitten Divels taile . 1. His view of the transformed Divell . VVHat wondrous raptures this our Author here Doth dreame of wine , who hardly ere dranke beere , Or any thing so mighty Horace's Lire Tels us what drinke doth most , what least inspire ? 2. His Pedegree . A Monstrous Birth ! sprong from the sheaves of wheat , Tresh'd out he should have said , for sure the great Father of this brave Sparke some tough blade was , That cudgelled the corne , and slash'd the grasse ; For such his base demeanour speakes him , I Doe not detract from the old family Of Bredsall all this while , nor doe I know Whether he bee extracted thence , or no . Oft 't is of worthy families the fate , To send some Children forth degenerate . But by his manners hee should rather bee Of that Ape Carriers affinity Hight Richard Walker , but call'd Cherry-lickam , Whom with his well taught-beast I saw at Wickam Doing rare trickes , with many a lofty straine For Englands King , but clapt his Arse at Spaine . Told money , which his Master cannot doe ; Yet hee a Walker is , and Wanderer too . But le ts admit our Libeller to bee Sprong from the wheaten Bredsall family , And that the Golden-sheaves that doe belong Vnto that family , this Ironmong-ER Er may justly challenge for his owne , yet hee Hath armes , which better fit his quality . The Armes of his owne atcheivement . A Gridiron passant , on which lies A Libeller doth simbolize A Cart , that doth up Holborne passe , A sable trivet next , wee place In cheif , which you may easily Conceive , doth Tiburne signifie , To seeke a Rope weel 'e not take paines , For worst delinquents hang in Chaines , Then for supporters , there shall stand Two men as true as steele , in hand They rusty Iron forkes shall weild , Thus you may blazonize his sheild . 2. His Disposition . IS it not vaine ? to tax his muse , that writ Of a bad Subject to discover it Vnto the heedles World ; that when they see , The thing attir'd in it's deformity , They then may loath it , that before appear'd Pleasing to them , before the mist was clear'd . Taylor his whore , if rightly understood Deserves much honour , 't was his Countrie 's good That set his muse on worke , the rogue set forth In Spanish , is a Booke of matchlesse worth . Which honest men approve , hee that doth looke Awry on it , is Subject of the Booke . 4. The Encounter . I Know 't is not your custome , to abuse The peoples eares , with fancies of your muse ; For where there 's no invention , straines of wit Can have no birth , were you endu'd with it What monsters you 'd beget alreadi 's knowne By fathering of these are not your owne . But what you publish here , if wee admit To bee your owne , Taylor those workes hath writ , That a just Catalogue of them will fill , More leaves , then you have stained with your quill , Leave then your ostentation , time ne're saw , An Eagle dar'd to combate by a Daw . 5. His Religion . 6. His Hypocrisie . I 'Ve made a scrutinie , but cannot find One word in Taylors Booke shews him inclin'd To Popery , 't is true hee cann't approve Of Brownists , nor the Familists of love , Of Anabaptists , nor of Adamites , Nor those instruct their audience , when the lights Are out , and by their owne example too As well as precept , teach them what to doe ; Though Ir'nmongers or Feltmakers they bee , Or Coblers , or what els fraternity . This being all , 't is straing hee not invites Your spleene , that hath describ'd the Adamites , The Brownists conventicle too that writ , But 't is your envy to brave Taylors wit , Hee onely is accus'd , although they bee Guilty of as much Popery as hee . Your faith I doe not question , nor will make Much matter of argument , what side you take . But Taylor's guilty of Hipocrisie , Because hee did comply with miserie . A powerfull reason ! shame to vent such stuffe Snuffers are sweeter ware , with unquencht snuffe . 7. The Church persecuted by water . A Title ( which doth promise at the least , A copious treatise ) like that pregnant beast , That travell'd with a mountaine , yet brought forth A litle molehill , see the lesser worth ! Of this poore fellow , who can scarce discerne A difference , 'twixt him , did guide the sterne Of the great Barke oth'Church , and him that neere A bigger vessell then an oare did steere . 8. His weakenesse in judgement NOw I doe pitty thee , that dares to tax Anothers judgemen ? when more time 't will aske Then was to teach the Asse to speake , assign'd , To render thy dull wits halfe so refin'd , As the well-tuter'd Ape , that 's Pupill to Thy name-sake Walker ; yet with much adoe Tha'st made an Anagram of thine owne name , And an AEnigma to thou think'st , what fame ? Will not be due to thee ? well thou maist scoren The Dung-hill Pamphlets thou set'st forth t' adorne With th'honoured subscription of the name , That 's grac'd , with such an heavenly Anagram . 9. His horrible lies . ONe Distichon is all the verse ha's writ There 's just as many faults , as lines in it . 10. My sincerity to England . IF you affirme this with sincerity , I m'e confident in it wee doe agree . 11. His humble Petition . VVHat forward impudence is this ? to dare Before those noble Senators to appeare Clad in such ragges ? if ought 'gainst Church or State , Hee hath offended , with an equall hate I shall pursue him , or transgress'd the lawes , And made unto himselfe a guilty cause , Or that it shall appeare , in the least word , Hee hath ●●aduc'd , that lov'd , and honour'd Lord ; But if o' th contrary it shall appeare , His conscience and his judgement , were more clear , And that hee did nor Church , nor State traduce , Nor that most noble Lord ; with least abuse ; Then Caesar-like , when Horace did acquite Himselfe , before him ; then , when 'gainst all right , A base officious Tribune did accuse The harmeles recreation of his muse ; As , that in mistique Hieroglyphickes , hee Had plotted 'gainst the State , some teachery ; Great Caesar gave the Poet , higher place In 's favour , and the Tribune , the disgrace To weare a paire of Asses eares ; so now , When these great Senators , on Taylor's brow Read innocence , his merrit they shall raise , By giving thee the whip , and him the bayes . 12. The Conclusion . ANd now friend Walker this , but to prepare My muse to encounter , if you dare , With a foote-Poet , enter in the sand , You , as you have lost by water may by land . POSTSCRIPT . ALthough in Ireland I was born and bred In Englands Church I nourisht am and fed Therefore let no dull Brownists apprehend That in defence of Popery I contend ; I doe esteeme both Sects as most a curst But of the twayn I thinke the Brownist worst . FINIS . 
A71179	----	Iohn Taylor being yet unhanged sends greeting to Iohn Booker that hanged him lately in a picture, in a traiterous, slanderous, and foolish London pamphlet called A cable-rope double-twisted Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A71179 of text R14479 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T434). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 18 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A71179 Wing T434 ESTC R14479 11921082 ocm 11921082 50967 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A71179) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 50967) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 232:E21, no 19) Iohn Taylor being yet unhanged sends greeting to Iohn Booker that hanged him lately in a picture, in a traiterous, slanderous, and foolish London pamphlet called A cable-rope double-twisted Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 8 p. Printed by L. Lichfield] [Oxford? : 1644. A scurrilous denunciation of Booker and all his works, in Taylor's usual style. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Booker, John, 1603-1667. -- No mercurius aquaticus, but a cable-rope double-twisted for John Taylor. A71179 R14479 (Wing T434). civilwar no Iohn Taylor being yet unhanged, sends greeting, to Iohn Booker that hanged him lately in a picture, in a traiterous, slanderous, and foolish Taylor, John 1644 3427 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. 2005-04 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2005-07 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2005-08 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2005-08 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion IOHN TAYLOR Being yet unhanged , sends greeting , to IOHN BOOKER That hanged him lately in a Picture , in a traiterous , slanderous , and foolish London Pamphlet , called A Cable-Rope double-twisted . Thou Booker hang'st me pictur'd in a Boat , Whereby thou shew'dst thy selfe the Hangman's Groom , The Hangman shall hang thee , and men shall note , That under Tyburne thou shalt have a Tombe : And lowsie Ballad-makers Rimes shall sing , There lies a Rebell , that revil'd his King : Thou hang'st my Picture , but I do foresee , That ( in revenge ) the Hangman shall hang thee . Gallogras Choka Cur dog Weasando Suffocatiorum . Printed in the Yeare , 1644. WEllfare an old Friend in a corner , but I have found an old corner in a Friend , that in these hard times hath sent me a True Loves Knot made of a Cable-Rope double-twisted , and withall hath most Emphatically , Mathematically , Aquatically , and Emblematically hanged me in a Boat at London , and after that ( most strangely and transubstantially ) he sends me a Rope to Oxford . This is Booker's Ass-tronomicall Legerdemain , to hang a man first and send him a Rope afterwards , for the which courtesie I will send him a few small Lines , which he may twist at his leasure , and hang himselfe after at his pleasure . But this preludium is silly simple stuffe , for though it may be suitable to Booker's ridiculous Non-sense railing and reviling , yet it neither becomes me to write , or my Readers to spend time in reading my writings if they were not better seasoned with salt , poudered with pepper , sharpened with vineger , and made fit , and of some acute rellish for the pallates of such capacities , as can make a distinction betwixt A Very Knave , and A merry Knave . Booker , all the world may perceive the implacability and inveteracy of thy malice for thou canst not be contented , to hang me , but thou persistest so uncharitably towards me as not onely to send me a Rope , but to revile me , with the learned Titles of Rogue , Prick-lowse , Pagan , Metropolitan Villain , and such other pretty Sirnames , which he learned from the Fish-wives scoulding Colledge at Billingsgate , and that he should be loath to fowle his fingers to answer any Pamphlet that comes from Oxford , but that through his sides the honour of a Parliament is wounded : to which I answer , that Parliament at this time is a meer Conventicle , or not the shade of a shadow of what it should be , and thou thy selfe dost manifest the imbecility of it , in that it had no other fortifications but such rotten paper-walls as thy sides to defend it from the shot of a Scholars or a Scullars pen ; Sirtha , I would have thee know , that we at Oxford are true Protestant pen-proofe , and the King , Queen , Princes , Peeres , Clergy , Vniversity , Army , Magistrates , and Commons , are slander-proofe , so that neither your rebellious fighting , or reviling writing , can wound , blemish or sully the Majestique lustre of Royalty , in the Soveraigne , or the obedient expression of duty in the Subject . But thou with thy Consorts , May , Wither , Britannicus , the Scout , the Dove , and all the Rabble of lying and reviling Rebells , cannot so much as scratch or touch my reputation , much lesse can they wound either Aulicus or Naworth , and least of all can they batter with Elder-guns and paper-bullets either majesty or loyalty . Prince Rupert ( or Robert ) whom your sawcinesse is pleased to call plain Rupert , as if his Highnesse and your Knaveship were all fellowes at foot-ball , you are so stupified in impudence and unmannerly ignorance , that you give that illustrious Prince , the scandalous , Turkish Titles and Tearmes of Saladine and Saracen , with many other such base expressions : I do hold it a great happinesse to that noble Prince , that he hath worthily deserved to be feared and admired by you and all the rest of your rebellious and Traiterous Factions ; you have some reason to be angry with him , because he hath so often beaten you , ( although he never did any harme to any honest man , true Subject , or Protestant ; yet such a stinckard as John Booker , Thou , that art a thing , that out of thy imperious Clerkship to some Justices of Peace , to foure or five of which thou wast a directing Gizzard , under their wing , a vermin made up of the fag-ends of fellonious cheating , filching , whoring , roguing , man-slaughtering , and murdering Mittimusses ; thy apparrell onely made of the shreads of Warrants , thy diet out of the Scraps of roasted Recognizances , and thy whole life an imitation of Binding over and With-drawing , this hath been thy Trade of old , thou whilom Vnder-Stewards man to one of the Innes of Court , where thou didst fatten and batten with scraps , rumps and kidnies , and scraping of Trenchers , and lately a Guild-hall Publican or Toll-gatherer for the maintenance of damned Rebellion against God and the King . And this Booker , this Thing , this Nothing , this any thing ( except a good thing ) doth flirt poyson , and with stinking calumnies against the sacred Honour of Princes , Religion , piety , and humanity , revile the King , Queen , and all that sincerely love or obey either God or them . If they were a Parliament , which thou so manifestest , they would shew some fruits of a Parliament , in hanging thee , with all thy Brothers ( Knaves and Libellers ) that do make a dayly and weekly Trade to vilifie their Soveraigne , with the Queen and loyall Nobility . There is a Statute unrepealed yet , that makes it no lesse than High Treason , or Treason in the highest degree ; and that Act being still in force , me thinkes , should stop your mouth with a hempen cullisse or Caudle . But your nick-name Parliament doth not onely maintain and retain a scattered Heard of scribling Villaines , but also they do allow most respect , favour , countenance and meanes to him that can lye , raile and slander most : therefore I conclude , if they were a Parliament , the sacred Name and Honour of His Majesty should not be suffered to be abused so transcendently ( beyond all presidents ) but that they would by Law and Parliamentary Authority send yee all to Gregories market , and feed Crowes with your traiterous mischievous Heads , and filthy , treacherous , rebellious , stinking , quartered carcases : therefore no Parliament . But do thou and all the rest of the Generation of Vipers cast never so many of your Traiterous slanders upon his sacred Majesty and his pious sincerity , yet his Royall and Christian constancy is so firme , that you do all justly deserve an universall hanging , in not believing and belying his fixed and ( never to be violated ) true Protestations , His Majesty is so well grounded in His Religion , that He is resolved to maintain , defend , live and die in the Protestant Faith , of which Faith His Father ( of blessed Memory ) and himselfe have been Defenders above fourty yeares , and which Faith you and your Faction have been Defilers almost foure yeares . I wish you had the manners to forbeare taxing His Majesty with Papistry , till such time as you know Him to be no Protestant . Indeed He is in minde and body compacted of such an unyeilding constitution ( which your loyalty may call stubbornesse ) that He will not bend or bow to your new-found Doctrine , so that there is no hope that you will ever be able to make a zealous Brownist , or devout Anabaptist of Him ; therefore I advise you to be quiet , and let him be a Protestant still , for you labour in vain , and it is neither in the power of you , or the Devill your Master , to alter Him from being constant , pious , just , mercifull , &c. Thou railest most delicately , against learning and the Vniversity , which in one word or two I will answer with an old said Saw , Art hath no enemy but ignorance , as for the King , Queen , Peeres , Clergy , Vniversity , Cavaliery , Infantry , &c. Their own worths and virtues are their vindications , so that I will not presume to say thou canst wound their Honours , either through my weak sides , or any wayes else that thy hellish brain can invent , therefore I le let them alone to defend themselves , and turne once more towards thee in mine own defence . As when Christopher Columbus ( an Italian ) first discovered some small part of the ( then unknown ) America , Vespusius ( a Spaniard ) sailing the year after , with the Chart or Card , Compasse , Mappes , and Mariners , that formerly Columbus had used , the said Vespusius discovered more Land , as the golden Peru , and other vast Continents , and at his returne ( being at dinner with Columbus and others ) Vespusius bragged that he had onely found out that new and rich World , at which words the Italian took an Egge in his hand , asking Vespusius , if he could make the Egge stand on one end upon the Table , to which he answered , he could not do it , then the other said that he could do it , and presently he put the Egges end into the Salt , and it stood upright ; then the Spaniard said , that he could do that tricke as well as he , to which the Italian replied , so you could finde America when I have shewn you the way . And much like hast thou Booker answered my Book , called [ No Mercurius Aulicus ] thou hast ( like an Asse ) yoaked thy selfe with my Heifer , for thou hast not the wit to plough without her , you play with your Nody-grammaticall foolery in Anagrammatizing my name , ( as John Tayler , Joyn Halter ) and fillest thy patched Pamphet with questioning and cavilling , at changing [ o ] into [ e ] with such skimble scamble , simple , froathy stuffe , as would serve to give a knowing hide-bound Dog a comfortable stoole or two . But as they are , and the condition they now are in , they have no other way of supportation , but what proceeds from the blacke mouthes of your zealous , Atheisticall , long-winded Preachers ( or Tautologicall prating Lecturers ) with the aide of you and your holy Tribe of accursed Pamphlet mongers ; it is you that with your Spirituall and Temporall damnable Devotions , and infernall practices , that do uphold the usurped Dignity of that Idoll Dagon Senate ; it is you that bring oile to quench the flames of this afflicted Kingdome ; it is you that have bewitched , besotted , and picked the purses of as many as believed you ; it is you ( and your instigations ) that have raised and defended this unparallelld and unnaturall Rebellion ; it is you that ( by Innovations in the Church ) have almost made the glorious Protestant Religion invisible , and ( to cover your Villanies ) with hypocriticall and odious Lyes , you charge the King and his Honourable Counsell with Popery , it is you that defend the New Assembly in their Synodicall Consultations , in framing and forging a new Alcaron , or a Talmud ; it is you that have made Knaves and Fooles believe all this ; it is you that have banished , imprisoned , robbed or murdered as many as would not believe all this , and my hope is to live to see you hanged for all this . Therefore it is no marvaile if they maintain you , for you are the onely props that uphold them , when you give over Lying then their Honour will lie in the dust , and when they fall you will be in danger of sterving ; for as Phocas by the murder of his Master Mauritius ( the Roman Emperour ) gat the Empire to himselfe , but was held in an odious estimation amongst all good men , so that his usurped ill-got estate stood tottering , and his life in dayly hazard ( by the friends of the Assassinated Emperour ) at the same time , the Bishop of Rome ( Boniface ) ambitiously sought to be Chiefe and Vniversall Bishop over all Christian Churches , which pride of his was opposed by all the godly and zealous Bishops in the World : but at last , the Murderer Phocas and the aspiring Pope made a bargain , which was that the Pope should by his dreadfull Thunderbolts of Excommunication affright the People into obedience with the Emperour , so the Emperour ( by force of Armes ) would bestow the Primacy of the whole Earth on the Pope , this match was made , and the most significant application of it is , that by as good right as Phocas reigned , by the like right doth Bookers Parliament rule , and by the same right do those fore-mentioned Villaines and they maintain and defend each other , by Murder , Sacrililedge , Ambition , Treason , Rebellion , and ruine of this ancient , famous , late-flourishing , and now most wretched and miserable England . Our Maremaid Taverne ( thou saist ) is turned Ale-house ( for want of wine ) but if any of the Planets told thee so , tell them they lyed , for there is sufficient of Wine in that House to make all the true Subjects in your Army as drunke as Beasts . Thou taxest Naworth and me with being blinde , that we could not see but mistake , and take Jupiter for Mars , this mistake might be an escape or fault in Printing , and my Book was too small to have an Errata annexed to it . I answer , that Naworth did no more know of the writing or printing of my Book , than thou and thy Comrades do know how or when to be true Protestants or loyall Subjects ; but all the world may perceive thee to be starke blinde in thy understanding , that couldst not know the King from John Taylor , just as when a man casts a stone at a Dogge , the foolish Curre runnes and bites the stone and never mindes the Caster ; why , thou ignorant blinde Buzzard , it was I , yea , it was I alone , without either any or the least assistance from Naworth , Aulicus , or any other that wrote the Book called [ No Mercurius Aulicus ] wherein I told you truly of your mistaking , villanous Prediction ; I tell thee again , thou mis-believing Infidell , it was I that galled and spur-galled thee to the quicke , and thou ( like a blinde Iade ) couldst not see me alone that did it , but thou must fall a snapping and snarling at the King , the Queen , &c. with others , who never had such a thought as to thinke upon so villanous a poysonous Vermin as thou art . Thou shouldst onely have medled with me that mumbled thee ; but 't is the old tricke of your Pulpiteers and Pamphleteers , to draw the more attention , and entice Coxcombs and Knaves to buy your damnable roguish riffe raffe , to mix and blend some slanderous Lyes , and Traiterous Ieeres against our Soveraigne , and his most gracious Government : for it is a Rule amongst you , that if there be no Treason in the Sermon , or Lying Calumniations in the printed Pamphlet , the one will never be liked and rewarded , nor the other be bought and sold . And now Sirtha , I will tell thee of an Anagram of my Name , that describes or emblems my couragious undaunted disposition , as John Taylor , O harty Lion . It may be Ioyn Halter may fall out to thee , and I may be the man that may joyne it , but be of good comfort if the Dog killer do not mistake thee for a dangerous Curre ; then I am resolved to give order to the Hangman for thee . Thou sayest , Thou wilt be silent hereafter , and that to answer AULICUS , NAVVORTH , or my Selfe , were to relieve us . Sir , I know I have put thee to silence , I have ramm'd up thy bawling chaps , for any more medling with me , but thou medlest most mischievously with the Planets , and makest most Traiterous Expositions of them ; the Starres and twelve Signes will reward thy lying sophisticating Calculations , with their malevolent Influences . Also thou recitest ( to a damnable purpose ) the story of Saul , Agag , and the murdering of the Protestants in Ireland , when all men of judgement do know that Ireland durst not rebell as long as the Earle of Strafford's head was upon his shoulders : but those that thirsted his blood , did also thirst for the Rebellion there and here too , and all the murders and outrages in Ireland were occasioned by the Brownists and Anabaptists , which Villaines urged the Papists so violently to infest that Kingdome . Should I answer every Bable , fable , or knavery in thy pestilent Pamphlet , all my truths and refutations would not lye in one poore sheet , to which this my rejoynder is limited , but for a conclusion I will send thee a Medicine , a requitall of the Cordiall thou sentst from London to me . I wish thee not to refuse it , for it will cure Diseases in any Rebell . Recipe Of Sayes good workes two hand-fulls . Legall Protestations anna one Scruple . The Close Committees Loyalty anna one Scruple . Rebells obedience anna one Scruple . Anabaptisticall duty anna two Graines . Brownisticall zeale anna two Graines . Schismaticall holinesse anna two Graines . Sacrilegious sanctity anna two Graines . Hypocrites purity anna two Graines . Whites conscience anna two Graines . Burges his chastity anna two Graines . Case and Sedwickes Divinity one Dramme . Let all these be bound up together in a Holland clowt as bigge as the palme of your hand , and tie it fast with the Line of Communication , let it be watred with the teares of oppressed and distressed Protestants , who are either undone or imprisoned for being true Subjects , then take them and beat them well in the Morter of Common Calamity , with the Pestle of the Publique Faith ; when it is well beaten , mix it with the Braines of Booker , May , Wither , Mercurius Britanicus , Prinne , and two or three hundred Knaves Braines more , it is an approved Medicine for the encrease of Rebellion , for the grumbling in the gizzard , the flux of the Tongue , or the melancholly mubble-fubbles , provided it be taken fasting ( upon a full stomacke ) at five of the clocke in the morning after Dinner Finis . 
A71180	----	Rare physick for the chvrch sick of an ague prescribing excellent and most accurate physick to be given to the church which has been sicke a long time : with the names of every particular disease and the manner how she contracted them and by what meanes as also prescripts to remedy the same : humbly commended to the Parliament, those admirable physicians of the church and state. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A71180 of text R21306 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T500). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 7 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 4 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A71180 Wing T500 ESTC R21306 12119359 ocm 12119359 54417 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A71180) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 54417) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 242:E87, no 10 or 250:E137, no 8) Rare physick for the chvrch sick of an ague prescribing excellent and most accurate physick to be given to the church which has been sicke a long time : with the names of every particular disease and the manner how she contracted them and by what meanes as also prescripts to remedy the same : humbly commended to the Parliament, those admirable physicians of the church and state. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [7] p. Printed for W.T., London : 1642. Thomason Catalogue dates this Jan. 31, 1643. Attributed to John Taylor. cf. BM. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng Church of England -- Controversial literature. A71180 R21306 (Wing T500). civilwar no Rare physick for the church sicx [sic] of an ague prescribing excellent and most accurate physick to be given to the church which has been s Taylor, John 1643 1114 6 0 0 0 0 0 54 D The rate of 54 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the D category of texts with between 35 and 100 defects per 10,000 words. 2005-04 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2005-05 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2005-09 Jonathan Blaney Sampled and proofread 2005-09 Jonathan Blaney Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-10 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion RARE PHYSICK FOR THE CHVRCH SICK OF AN AGUE PRESCRIBING EXCELLENT and most accurate Physick to be given to the Church which has been sicke a long time . With the names of every particular Disease , and the manner how she contracted them , and by what meanes , as also prescripts to remedy the same . Humbly commended to the Parliament , those Admirable physicians of the Church and State . London , printed for W. T. 1642. Rare Physicke for the Church sicke of an Ague . THE languishing Church being extreame sicke of many dangerous diseases , had once began almost to sing its ultimum vale to the World , it was so turbulently distracted by the contentious opinions of some Schismaticall disturbers thereof : And being in this deepe Malady , many in an honest deploration condoled her estate ; yet commiserating her distresse farther , they would not leave her desolate of reliefe and comfort , but did co unitely concurre in one unanimous contribution to elevate and restore her to its former prosperity and pristine health . First then they agreed in a conclusive determination to send for all the Neighbours round to visit and consolate her : The Protestants were first sent for , because they were the next Neighbours to her , who when they beheld apparently her desperate sicknesse , every one endeavoured to adde a salve thereunto ; one would have cast her water , but the two Universities dammed up , and stopped the running thereof , for feare it should runne to Amst●rdam : Another perceiving an obstacle there , laboured to finde out her Disease , supposing her to be sicke of the Mother : A third replyed , that she could scarce attaine to that maturity , since she laboured so lately of a young Suckling : Another answered , that she was abused by one living at the back-side of Brownes barn , who ●ut of his running Hogshead broached such strange and prodigious prophesies to his prick-ear'd Auditors , that it stuck deeply in her Stomack , and from thence she contracted so great a burning Fever , that many Books could not withstand the Flame thereof . They sent secondly to the Round-heads desiring their assistance to help this distorted Church , but they were so greatly imployed at Cheapside-Crosse , that they could spare no time to come to her . The puritans were next sent for , but they were in such hasty preparation for New-England , that their consciences could not suffer them to steale so much time , to comfort the sicke , which they never could endure to doe in their lives . There are many places for severall men appointed , and yet I wonder extreamely , that one should be deficient : There is Newgate appointed for Theeves , Bridewell for idle persons , the Counters for Drunkards , ●●●gate for Debtors , Bedlam for mad men , and Hospitals for lame persons ; yet amongst them all ( I wonder ) there is no place for Fooles , but in their New plantation ( I thinke ) they wil erect an hospital● for Fooles , where they may doe many miraculous deeds of charity , yet I hope some of them will be wise enough to admit themselves there first , because charity begins at home . The Familists were next sent for , but some of the holy Brethren being asleepe , the others were occupied by their wives in a conjunction copulative , and being so zealously imployed , they could not s●ffurate so much time to come . Thus the Church being variously distracted between these Sects , is involved in an irremiable labyrinth of opinions , and hereupon recontracted such desperate diseases , that it still requireth a more auxiliary remedy . The surest way then , that I can conceive herefrom , is to send for the Doctors , who I suppose have more sciential skil to resolve us of her malady , but they with their New Canons are so imployed in the Tower to defend the City , for they would otherwise willingly have come , but only they stumbled on the protestation and the Tower stood in their way , which hindered their voluntary readinesse : But in my opinion it was well they were excluded by so opportune an obstacle , for otherwise ( it is to be feared ) they would have rather brought her former dis●emper to a deepe Consumption , and so consequently she might have layn on her death-bed : but thanks be to the Omnipotent indulgencie of Almighty God , who sent true and skilfull Physitians unto her , to cure her disease ; I meane the Parliament , that illustrious Assembly of both Temporall and Ecclesiasticall Physitians : These as soone as they first perspicuously perceived the dangerousnes of the disease , which by the long negligence of time she had contracted , began first to cast her water , which made so many Flye over the Ocean , that then she did seeme respectively to recover . And after , there was some hopes of preservative health remaining , they thought it most expedient to give her next a sound purge , which made so many impedimen all excrements of papisticall adherents be evacuated from her , that shee began to waxe stronger and stronger : Thus the Church was delivered our of the almost incurable disease of popery and superstition , and so Flourshed a while ; till at length for want of strong suporters she became feeble againe , and by the imaginarie countenancing of too much licentiousnes , she is now sicke of the Staggers , and unlesse she has another purge given her , and that speedily too , to purge her from Brownianisme , necessarily she will fall into the former , or as bad , if not worse ) disease : For as the one swelled too high in popish opinions , and had almost overwhelmed her , so the latter dives so low in Heresie , that it will ( it is supposed ) almost sink her : But the Judicious and physicall knowledge of the parliament will no doubt accurately cure her ; the best way that I can conceive for her recovery is to be let bloud , and then some hopes of reformation may be expected to her great health and prosperity , the Kingdomes happinesse , and the Immortall Glory of those illustrious Physitians of the Parliament . FINIS . 
A81604	----	A dog's elegy, or, Rvpert's tears, for the late defeat given him at Marstonmoore, neer York, by the three renowned generalls; Alexander Earl of Leven, general of the Scottish forces, Fardinando, Lord Fairefax, and the Earle of Manchester generalls of the English Forces in the North. Where his beloved dog, named Boy, was killed by a valiant souldier, who had skill in necromancy. Likewise the strange breed of this shagg'd cavalier, whelp'd of a malignant water-witch; with all his tricks, and feats. Sad Cavaliers, Rupert invites you all that does survive, to his dogs funerall. Close-mourners are the witch, Pope, & devill, that much lament ye'r late befallen evill. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A81604 of text R3732 in the English Short Title Catalog (Thomason E3_17). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 17 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A81604 Wing D1830 Thomason E3_17 ESTC R3732 99872477 99872477 154679 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A81604) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 154679) Images scanned from microfilm: (Thomason Tracts ; 1:E3[17]) A dog's elegy, or, Rvpert's tears, for the late defeat given him at Marstonmoore, neer York, by the three renowned generalls; Alexander Earl of Leven, general of the Scottish forces, Fardinando, Lord Fairefax, and the Earle of Manchester generalls of the English Forces in the North. Where his beloved dog, named Boy, was killed by a valiant souldier, who had skill in necromancy. Likewise the strange breed of this shagg'd cavalier, whelp'd of a malignant water-witch; with all his tricks, and feats. Sad Cavaliers, Rupert invites you all that does survive, to his dogs funerall. Close-mourners are the witch, Pope, & devill, that much lament ye'r late befallen evill. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [8] p. for G. B., Printed at London, : July 27. 1644. Perhaps by John Taylor, the water poet. cf. NUC pre-1956. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. In verse. eng Rupert, -- Prince, Count Palatine, 1619-1682 -- Early works to 1800. Leven, Alexander Leslie, -- Earl of, 1580?-1661 -- Early works to 1800. Fairfax, Ferdinando Fairfax, -- Baron, 1584-1648 -- Early works to 1800. Manchester, Edward Montagu, -- Earl of, 1602-1671 -- Early works to 1800. Royalists -- England -- History -- 17th century -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. A81604 R3732 (Thomason E3_17). civilwar no A dog's elegy, or, Rvpert's tears,: for the late defeat given him at Marstonmoore, neer York, by the three renowned generalls; Alexander Ea Taylor, John 1644 2453 10 0 0 0 0 0 41 D The rate of 41 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the D category of texts with between 35 and 100 defects per 10,000 words. 2008-03 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2008-05 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2008-07 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2008-07 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2008-09 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A DOGS ELEGY , OR RVPERTS TEARS , For the late Defeat given him at Marston-moore , neer York , by the Three Renowned Generalls ; Alexander Earl of Leven , Generall of the Scottish Forces , Fardinando Lord Fairefax , and the Earle of Manchester Generalls of the English Forces in the North . Where his beloved Dog , named BOY , was killed by a Valliant Souldier , who had skill in Necromancy . Likewise the strange breed of this Shagg'd Cavalier , whelp'd of a Malignant Water-witch ; With all his Tricks , and Feats . Sad Cavaliers , Rupert invites you all That doe survive , to his Dogs Funerall . Close-mourners are the Witch , Pope , & devill , That much lament yo'r late befallen evill . Printed at London , for G. B. July 27. 1644. A Dogg's Elegie , OR RVPERTS Tears . LAment poor Caevaliers , cry , howl and yelp For the great losse of your Malignant Whelp , Hee 's dead ! Hee 's dead ? No more alas can he Protect you Dammes , or get Victorie . How sad that Son of Blood did look to hear One tell the death of this shagg'd Cavalier , Hee rav'd , he tore his Perriwigg , and swore , Against the Round-heads that hee 'd ne're fight more : Close couch'd , as in a field of Beanes he lay , Cursing and banning all that live-long day ; Thousands of Devills Ramme me into Hell , Or may I live and die an Infidell , The Day 's quite lost , wee are all confounded , And made a prey to ev'ry paltry Roundhead ; Just Heav'n had so Decreed , as it fell out , The Cavaliers receiv'd a finall Rout. Manchester , Leslie , Fairefax weares the Bay . And Crumwell crown'd chief Victor of the Day ; VVhile thousands weltring in their blood , did lie VVeary of life , and yet afraid to die . But for to tell of this Bl●ck Water-witch , That puppy'd was of a Malignant Bitch , Or Hagge , so cunning in her Art , that shee VValk'd under earth 〈◊〉 in the aire 〈◊〉 flie , Sell windes she could , command the Ebb or Tide , Raise Foggs , give Spells or on the Clowds could ride , For Magick , Sorcery , Charme or Evill , She well , might 〈…〉 to th' Devill . This Witch one night , late , picking banefull Drugs , Meeting grim Brenno , us'd to suck her duggs , In shape of a young stripling Dammy Blade , For Whoredome , Murder , and for Rapine made , For all the world , some say , just such another That used to call Prince Maurice brother : Thus shee Accoasted him , What Forme is this Thou hast assum'd Brenno ? By the Abysse , My blood rebells more powerfull then my Charmes , Till I doe lodge thee in my twined armes . No sooner had shee spake , but a black clowde VVith duskie curtains did them both enshrowde , VVhere was begotten this Malignant Curr , VVho in this Iland hath made all this stirre . Full thrice three yeears within her cursed wombe , He did remaine , ere he to light did come : The long'd for houre is come , most strange to tell , The Furies straight about their businesse fell ; Megera midwife was to this strange Fiend , For whose delivery all the Haggs attend : Thunder and Earth quakes such a noise did make , As if Heavens Axletree in sunder brake , And either Poles , their heads together pash'd , As all againe they had to Chaos dash'd : Then was a noise , as if the Garden Beares , And all the Doggs together by the Eares , And those in Bedlam had inlarged been , And to behold the bayting had come in . About by noon flew the affrighted Owls , And Dogs in corners set them down to howle , Bitches and Wolves these fatall signes among , Brought forth most monstrous , and prodigious young : And from his height , the earth-refreshing Sun , Before his houre his golden beams doth run Farre under us , in doubt his glorious Eye Should be polluted with this Progedy . A trembling fear straight on the people grew , But for what cause there was not one that knew , Th' Destinies , Furyes , Fates , and all hells Crew Came trembling in , and would this Monster view , And long it was not ere there came to light . The most abhorred , and most fearfull sight That ever eye beheld , a birth so strange , That at the view it made their looks to change : VVomen stand off ( quoth one ) and come not neer it , The Devill , if he saw it , sure would fear it , For by it's shape , for ought that I can gather , The Childe is able to affright the Father : 'T was like a Dog , yet there was none did know VVhether it Devill was , or Dog , or no . Scarce twice two yeers past o're , but quickly hee Excell'd his Mother in her VVitcherie , And in his black and gloomy Arts so skill'd , That he even Hell in his subjection held ; Hee could command the Spirits up from below , And binde them strongly , till they let him know All the dread secrets that belong them to , And what those did , with whom they had to doe . This VVizard in his knowledge most profound , Sate on a day the depths of things to sound , For that the VVorld was brought to such a passe , That it well nere in a confusion was , For things set right , ran quickly out of frame , And those awrie , to rare perfection came , And matters in such sort about were brought , That States were puzzl'd almost beyond thought , VVhich made him thinke as he might very well , There were more Devills then he knew in hell . Now for to Act his part he doth beginne , And tempt's the VVorld to all abhorred sinne : To Rome he first resolves his course to steere , And quickly leaps into the Prelates Chaire , Just 'bout the time some think when as Pope Jone VVas head o' the Church , and troubled with the stone , He cur'd her Holinesse , brought her abed , And shew'd the Romish Church her Maiden head : But finding Rome already prone to Vice , To Pride , Vain-glory , Lust and Avarice , To Murder , Rape , Idolatry and more Then he ( though Devill ) ever knew before , For Spaine hee comes , just about Eighty Eight , And there a Fleet he Rigg'd for England streight , There did hee play his Water-prize with Dr●ke , Who with Earth's thunder , made proud Neptune quake ; He taught this Dog to Duck , to swim , and dive , Till scarce a Spaniard he had left alive ; But being vex'd , missing his aime at Sea , He vow'd on Land revenged he would be , But Heav'n which ever did Protect that Queene , Debarr'd his malice , and repell'd his spleene ; Till Jove fetching her hence , gave her a Crowne , More bright , more glorious , and of more renowne , Who Reignes till Time hath date , or Fame hath breath , Queen of true English hearts in life and death . Aurora's gone : Bright Sol is in his Throne , Then dry your eyes , and cease for her to mourne : This Dogge now casts about , tries all his skill , To poyson , stab , or some new way to kill Never yet heard of ; The Master-piece of hell Is now contriv'd that wants a Paralell , The Powder-Plot , that would in one half houre , King , Prince , Peers , Commons , at one blow devower , But then he failed too , the Eye of Heav'n Descri'd the Plot , and Justice with an even Impartiall hand , by the Decree of Jove , Set free our Kingdom , and did them remove , Gave them their just reward , sent them to Hell , Mongst better Devills then themselves and well . Our Dog is masterlesse ; Could he but frame Himself to serve the Fav'rite Buckingham , This cunning , slie , insinuating Elfe , By him would work strange wonders for himself , Then doth he Plot , contrive and cast about ▪ And Hell it self doth search , for to finde out , If any way were left , he vow'd to 〈…〉 Once more to bring this land to 〈…〉 . Now dies that Noble Scot , who 〈…〉 s tell , 'T was thy Ambition made his carcasse swell . Next , Prince Henry — But here my Muse strikes saile , A damp glide through 〈…〉 I know not , unlesse some powerfull Spell Hath charm'd my head into a watery VVell : " Eyes weep out tears , tears weep out eyes in kindnesse , " Since he is dead , how best of all is blindnesse . A Match with Spaine must now be practised , VVhich soon will strike the nayle up to the head : Oh , now it works , which makes his Holinesse , Salute his hopefull Sonne with an Expresse , Answer'd with so much Candor to the Chaire , As if Himself of it did stand in feare . The Match broak off with Spaine , our Noble BOY Is yet to seek , and must finde out a way By Poyson still , how that ( O monstrous ! ) Hee More home may strike at Sacred Majestie , Great Brittains KING , and Europs chiefest glory , Scarce parallel'd in any English Story , Must with White Powder given him in his drinke , Cry out on him that made his Carcasse sinke . O for a Bishop now , Come Little Land , And usher in the Babylonish Baud , This made him Metropolitan , when hee Did move the Duke to goe toth' Ile of Ree , Poore Rochell Ru'd it , where by more then Chance , England was made the scorne of conquer'd France : But heaven by Felton's hand had so decreed , He that shed all this blood , himself should bleed . Now Bishops , Coaps , Caps , Surplices and Crosses , Must needs Religion-o're these fattall Losses : GODS Day must be Profan'd with Sports profane , Laud , White , and Wren , like Tyrant-Kings must Reign : Monopolies impos'd , and none goe free , But those that lou'd the Masse , and Popery . Now Tips of Ears , and burning fiery scarres , VVere all sad Symptoms of insuing VVarres ! That Masse-Book unto Scotland now must trace , Or else a Bloody Sword supplies the place . Now doth that sur-Reverend Piece of Lust , That Madam Pole cat , that was never just , Contrive and Plot , and wrack her whoary scull , Urging her Daughter to make mischief full . Now Strafford's on the dismall Stage : 't is hee Must Act chief part in this red Tragedie : Now Harry Jemin , Bristoll , Digby , Cott. — Must all to work , and see what they can Plot : Now Bleeding Ireland hath by Commission , Brought th' Prot'stants to a sad condition : Two hundred thousand of them lately slaine , The Protestant Religion to maintaine . 'T is time the King now leave his Parliament , Let Digby weare his Crown , and give consent To raise an Army Traytors to protect , And his Great Counsell utterly reject . Now Prince of Robbers , Duke of Plunderland , This Dogs great Master , hath receiv'd command To kill , burne , steale , Ravish , nay , any thing , And in the end to make himself a King . Newcastle next , Capell the Cow stealer , And Hastings alias Rob-Carrier , Hopton , Hurry , Lunsford , that all doe Fight For the true Gospel , and the Subjects Right . On Ashton , Legge , and such as these doe stand The Priviledge of Parliament and Land ! And the Known Laws , that should good men protect , Upheld by Rebells , that good men reiect , O durum hoc ! — Mine eyes burst out to thinke How blinde he is , that can at these things winke . To tell you all the pranks this Dogge hath wrought , That lov'd his Master , and him Bullets brought , VVould but make laughter , in these times of woe , Or how this Curr came by his fatall blow , Look on the Title page , and there behold , The Emblem will all this to you unfold . MORRALL . The VVorld's the VVitch , the Dogge , is the Devill , And men th' Actors , that have wrought this evill . EPILOGUE . He that can't get a peny me to buy , May want a Pound , and a Malignant die . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A81604e-310 P. Ruperts sorrow . His policie . His Army Routed . His Dogs Progeny . The property of Witches . Her Spirit . The dog begotten . Signs of prodigious births . The dogges birth . His cunning . His depth of skill ▪ His first trick . The great Armado . Queen Elizabeth many times miraculously delivered . The Popish Powder-plot . The Dog turns Courtier . Duke of Lenox . Prince Henry . The Popes letter . K. James his death . Canterbury ushers in popery . The I le of Rue voyage . The Declaration for Sports on the Sabbath-day . Mr. Burton , Mr. Prynne , and Dr. Bastwick . Scotlands piety . Queen mother . Traytors , and papists , Whe●ps of the same litter . The Dogs Master . These and Irish Rebells , his Maiesties best Subjects . 
A95527	----	The causes of the diseases and distempers of this kingdom; found by feeling of her pulse, viewing her urine, and casting her water. The remedies are left to the skill and direction of more able and learned physitians. / Written by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A95527 of text R200327 in the English Short Title Catalog (Thomason E305_20). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 27 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 6 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A95527 Wing T437 Thomason E305_20 ESTC R200327 99861130 99861130 113258 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A95527) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 113258) Images scanned from microfilm: (Thomason Tracts ; 50:E305[20]) The causes of the diseases and distempers of this kingdom; found by feeling of her pulse, viewing her urine, and casting her water. The remedies are left to the skill and direction of more able and learned physitians. / Written by John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 10 p. s.n.], [Oxford : Printed, 1645. Place of publication from Wing. Annotation on Thomason copy: "Octob: 22th Oxon". Reproduction of the original in the British Library. eng Great Britain -- History -- Civil War, 1642-1649 -- Causes -- Early works to 1800. A95527 R200327 (Thomason E305_20). civilwar no The causes of the diseases and distempers of this kingdom;: found by feeling of her pulse, viewing her urine, and casting her water. The re Taylor, John 1645 4753 8 0 0 0 0 0 17 C The rate of 17 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2007-02 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2007-03 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2007-04 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2007-04 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2008-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE Causes of the Diseases and Distempers of this KINGDOME , &c. WHen a learned and well experienced Physitian , hath eitherby the Pulse , Vrin , or other Symptomes , found out the cause of the dangerous disease of his Patient , he will know or conjecture what is Cureable or past Cure : And as it is with the Body of Man , so in the Body Politique of the Kingdome , if the causes of our distempers and distractions would or could be knowne , they might with wisedome and judgement be removed and taken away , and then ( by consequence ) the Effects would cease . And though most men are either Fooles or Physitians , ( or a both ) yet few or none hath either found or shewed the causes or reasons of these causelesse and unreasonable disturbances . Amongst the many Thousands of oppressed sufferers in this our afflicted England , my selfe ( though no Phisitian , yet the Son of a Chirurgian ) am one , that hath had a long time of many tryalls and experiments of Waters , and Water-Casting , and I have lately used my poor skill in Casting the Kingdomes Water , and though Phisitians may often faile in their conjectures , yet b Fooles and Children will many times tell the Truth by chance . I have Cast the Waters of Thames , Isis , Seaverue , Wye , Avon , Trent , Humber , Owse , Tweed , Forth , Tay , Spey , Annan , &c. and ( as I guesse ) I have found out the true cause and causes , the needlesse why , the impertinent wherefore , and the accursed unknowne for what , this former flourishing Kingdom is thus Rebelliously infected . And if I could as well Cure , as discover the diseases , my gratious Soveraigne and all his Loyall Subjects and Servants , should quickly have their owne againe in Peace . But because England doth not know well what she ayles , ( though I cannot cure her ) yet I will tell her how it is . The Members of this great Body do complaine of the Head , saying , that from thence their griefe began ; the Head is troubled with too much Akeing , Cares , with extreame overwatchfullnesse for the preservation of the misguiding Members , and the misguided Body ; The Members pretend the defence and maintenance of the knowne Lawes of the Kingdom . The King , ( according to those established knowne Lawes ) desires to Rule , and also requires the lawfull obedience due to His Majesty by those Lawes , and no otherwise . And those at Westminster , cannot but acknowledge , but that they are all Traytors that doe refuse to live in obedience to the King and those knowne Lawes . But the Westminsterians doe call all the Protestants , and all others that are obedient to those knowne Lawes , Malignants , and Popishly-affected ; And without Law , ( and against those Lawes ) they Kill , Imprison , and Sequester all their Lands , Offices , and Estates . And those lawlesse men doe not only commit this outrage against particulars , but even against the whole Body of the Kingdome ; for they have Rob'd it ( violently ) of the maine Pillar , prop , and support of their Lives , Livelihoods and Fortunes , by taking away from them their Elections of their Knights , Citizens , and Burgesses ; for they have turn'd all such out of the House of Commons , as would not joyne with them in this horrid Rebellion , c when as ( they being rightly elected and return'd ) by the Law they cannot put out any , but for some legall Cause , as being outlawed after Rebellion , or for being a Felon , Murtherer or Traytor . But these Traytors at Westminster , are so lawlessely impudent and insolent , that as they dare not ( themselves ) be tried by the knowne Lawes , so they will not permit those whom they falsely accuse to be Malignants , to be tried by those Lawes , but have kept some in Prison more then these three yeares , because they would not commit whoredome with the Beast at Westminster . Tush , these are triviall matters , above the reach of a Scullers d Capacity , 't is knowne Mr Sergeant Wild will say , there are Presidents , that the House of Commons have ( as their wisedomes thought meet and convenient ) put out some Members without any legall Cause shewed . ( the greater their fault in so doing . ) 'T is true , I have heard there was e one ( not many yeares since ) that one was put out for desiring some Ginne or Mousetrappe to catch Puritans , and that is one of your Westminster presidents . By as good reason , because some Theeves and Robbers have not been hang'd , therefore all may lawfully steale and none be hang'd by that president ; or because one of your Members got a Wench with child in his lodging , and was not punished for f it , shall that be made a president for all others to get Bastards , or make Cuckolds ? I doe heartily desire , I might be permitted to joyne Issue with you , you have three Iudges with you , and it may be requisite ( for an accommodation ) that Mr Selden , and Mr Maynard , were made two more ; ( though they love their owne quiet and their wealth too much ) they are knowne to be learned in the Lawes . Those five might be joyn'd to ours here , and every one of us and you , submit to their judgements , according to the knowne Lawes ; And ( by the Lawes ) it will appeare who are Traytors , and who are honest g men . But Mr Sergeant Wild , and learned Mr Miles Corbet , will that is not reason , for they have been inforc'd or necessitated to doe many things contrary to the Law ; the more Knaves and Rebels still . And shall we of the Kings side , say more truly , there is neither Law or Reason to kill or imprison us , to take our Goods , Lands , and Offices from us , for the poore thred-bare and unjust Reason , that you were necessitated . For the Turke doth not cover his Tyranny with Law or Reason , when he takes Goods or Life from a man , for he doth it by will and tyrannicall power , even as you doe now to us , for we doe not know any injury that we have done you , or any faults we have committed against you , but that you make our obedience to the King , and our keeping of the Lawes , our great and Capitall h offences . We are all bound in Loyalty to His Majestie , by the Law of God , by the Lawes of the Land , and by the Law of Nature , as our grand Parent . And for His preservation , and defence to keep you from killing and murthering Him , and all His loyall and faithfull Subjects , we are now necessitated ( according to those knowne Lawes ) to oppose you , that are the opposers of all the Lawes of God and the Kingdome . The causes of your Rebelling , and of the Kingdomes miseries was the great necessity that you were in , and what ( I pray you ) was that great necessity ? i because some Lord ( whom you pleas'd to have ) might not be made Lord Treasurer , another High Admiral , and the Lord Say to be an Earle , and Lord Keeper of the Great Seale ▪ because some might not have the honour to be Ambassadors ▪ one to be Chancellor to the Queene , another Master of the Rolls ; and of the House of Commons , some to be Maisters of Requests , Pym to be Chancellor of the Exchequer , Hambden Cofferer , in a word , some to be Secretaries to the King , Queene and Prince , or Gentlemen of the Bed-chamber to the King or Prince , and all Officers to be put out , and your selves or your Creatures placed in their roomes ; because this could not be granted , then you will have it by violence of Fire and Sword : And this was the great necessity you pretend and speake of . Because these things could not be obtained , you finding the multiplicity ( and simplicity ) of Sectaries , you have made execrable use of their Repugnancie to our Church-Government established by Law ; hoping that by your Cunning fishing in these troubled Waters , to gaine your ends of ambition , profit , malice , and revenge , which doth now appeare to all seeing men , to be the ground of this horrid Rebellious Warre . For first , to beginne with the Church , what can you find there amisse , for Reformation , that you do not first condemne the Apostles themselves , and all the Catholick Church ever since ; for is it possible you can perswade Rationall men , that the Government of the Vniversall Church could be so suddainly changed from the Pr●sbyterian Government ( which you straine to support ) supposed , or seeming to you to be setled by the Apostles ? Is it not meer madnesse to thinke , that the Government so setled of Bishops , should so quickly cast out the Presbytery , and that the said Episcopall Function and dignity hath so continued these 1600 years , and not one Godly Christian in so long time to be found ( no not one of note or Antiquity ) untill k Mr John Knox his time ? But more strange it appears to me , that in all other Reformed places , there is not that warmth , or fire of zeale , to be found anywhere but in Scotland only , that will kill and slay all the English , to make them obey their Kirke ( or rather Querke ) Government , which is to pretend holinesse and brotherly love , to cheat us of our Wealth , quiet , and Peace . I will not meddle or speake of Reformed Churches , God keep them in unity and Tranquillity ; But because I have been in Scotland , and have seen somewhat , but have heard and Read much more , of their Querk and their Ecclesiasticall government , I will say this , that I cannot find any great difference between the Iesuit and them . The Jesuit would have the Pope only , to have all the Spirituall and Temporall powers of the World in him ; And the Presbyterians , would be every one a severall Pope . And this I will say , ( and my opinion hath thousands to agree with it , ) that it is more milde and tolerable , to live under the Spanish Inquisition , then under their Presbyterian Querke Authority and Tyranny , which ( in a word ) hatches Rebellion , seems and seeks sway and domination over their King , with all his Loyall Subjects Lands and Riches , and this is truly , verily , and sincerely their only zeale . They may remember , that the Raigne of Queen Elizabeth and hir Royall favour , with the Ayde of the English Nation , should not ingratefully be forgotten ; it is not many yeares since that they fear'd that the French made Warre in Scotland to settle the Romish Religion there ; ( which they then thought to be an unreasonable proceeding by Strangers ) at which time they had recourse to the Crowne of England for their preservation , ( which then relieved them , ) and I have read in their Service-Book of their Church of Prayers , Thanks , and Vowes , that they would never be against the English Crowne , but spend their lives for the service thereof . And now behold the Perfidious and most abhorr'd ingratitude of these Monsters , their thankfulnesse is exprest in Killing and Ruining us , and taking our Townes from us ; But l Mr Henderson will say that the Scottish Nation ( in thankfulnesse for that good turne ) they come now ( in Gud suith ) to shew their brotherly love , to deliver us from Popery . I must confesse , that in your comming you shew'd a great deale of Affection to us , but you should have been better welcome if you had had so much manners , to have staid 'till the King had sent for you . Besides your care for us is very much to be admired and Respected , that you took our danger of Popery into your gud Considerations , when as neither the King or His Counsell , nor any honest man in the whole Kingdom , neither could , can , or shall perceive any such an alteration or purpose . O but my Lord Lowden , and my Lord Say , and Mr Hambden , perceived it through the Perspective Glasse of their high Wisdome●and they sent for you ; But was your Prayers and Vowes , made to my Lord Say , or Mr Hambden , or for , and to the Crowne of England ; I know you will say it was not to the Crowne , but to the People that you owe your thankfulnesse ( though it may be made good ( by Record ) that that vast expence for your deliverance , was meerly from the Crowne , and then so acknowledged by Record ( as may be proved . ) But the Scriptures are now better understood by my Lord Lowden , and Mr Henderson , for now the People are above the King , for Kings and Emperours are but the Presbyterians m Curredoggs , to keep the Wolfe from their Flock , when they command them ; And therefore ( they say ) they being called into England by the Parliament , they understand ( in their Politique Capacity ) that they are called by the King , when God knowes , the King had too many English Rebells and Traitors to molest Him , His People and Kingdom , so that we had no occasion to send for strange Rebells of another Nation to ruine us n totally . I will say nothing by whose authority the Parliament is called , nor by whose Writ they meet , nor that there was ever any Act or Law made without the Kings Confirmation , these things have been handled & discus'd by more Learned men then my selfe , I will have nothing to doe with things that are so transcendent above my Reach . But I would gladly let you know , we are not Ignorant of your craft and subtilty , in seeming to make those few Members at Westminster to be the Parliament , because you and they have Covenanted to divide the Spoyle and Government of this Kingdom amongst you . For , first you know when you were on your Mattch with your Army , there were three times the number of Lords , wrote unto you from Oxford to disavow your calling in , then there were at Westminster to call you . Besides the promises therein made o you , the which it is not unlikely but you may have cause to repent the not accepting . And for the Members of the Commons House , the World knowes that the Major part were then at Oxford . But you will make walls and Stones to be the Houses of Parliament to serve your ends , even as the Westminster men doe , to cover their Treason and Rebellion , cause and appoint their p Tub-Orators and Pamphletteers , to inform the People that the King makes Warre against His Parliament , when ( in truth ) if they mean the Parliament , by the greater number of the Lords and Commons , the Parliament ( in that sense ) are either with the King or for the King . But the Authors and pursuers of this accursed Warre , are easily perceived and known . The King ( as I told you ) requires the Maintenance of the true Protestant Religion , and of the known Lawes and Liberties of his Subjects , and for these things He is opposed , ( which is flat Treason ) His life sought , and His Subjects and Kingdoms spoyled . But you doe make this Warre because you would inforce the King to abolish Bishops , and take away all Deans and Chapters , and their Lands to be divided between you and your Covenanted Scottish Brethren ; And for your better inabling you to swaye and Domineere over the King and His People , you will and must have the power of the Militia , or else you will kill the King , and all his faithfull Subjects that shall defend Him . I have read the Chronicles of England , wherein I find Commotions , and Rebellions to cause the King to keep His Lawes , but this is the first Rebellion that I ever heard of , that will not only inforce the King to breake His Coronation Oath made to His People , but will either kill Him , or compell Him to breake His Lawes likewise ; so that if the King would have been perjur'd for their pleasure , they would never have Rebelled against him , and indeed if they were not Perjur'd in breaking their Oathes of Allegiance , and infringing all the known Lawes , we had never been thus mischeivously perplexed . And if it be true , that the People doe make Kings , ( as your Apostle q Prinne saies ) therefore they may unmake them if they please : then by the same Rule may we not say , we will have no more Knights , Cittizens , and Burgesses , for doe not the People make them ? yes Verily-truly , and Truly-verily . Therefore advise well of your businesse , that you are so madly troublesome about , if you begin to pull down Kings , I will assure you , we will have no Lords or Gentlemen amongst us ; And in that ( I am sure ) we have the advantage ( in number of People ) there being more Poore then Rich to take our parts ; and we shall have as much Law , and more Reason for our justification , then you have for this Horrid Rebellion . I would faine preserve the wilfull , the obstinate , the mislead , and seduced Londoners , or ( as I may truly say ) my Goatham , quondam friends , I will not yet call you Bedlams ) I hope you may yet recover your crooked and crazed Witts , before all be spent and lost , the which I heartily wish . I know some of you are Learned , I pray you recollect your Readings , and tell me ( if you can ) if you ever found Lawes or Government setled by the Sword ( that so continued ) or Justice , or Right , supprest long without being restored ; And therefore if you doe still continue your disbursements in maintaining this Rebellion , you will have the curse of all England , as your being the causers of all our miseries , and consequently of your own undoing ; for we all know , that if you doe lock up your Purses , that we and you shall have Peace laid at our doores , r By which means , we might have a free Parliament to stop all our Breaches , and build up the Ruines which this unnaturall Warre hath made , without which , we can expect no other but totall confusion and desolation . The Lawes are the Touch , the Test , the rule and guide of all our lives and actions , the Lawes are terrible to none but Theeves , Murtherers , Traytors , and Rebels , every honest man and true Subject dares look the Law in the face boldly without feare ; we dare you to be judged and ttyed by the ſ Lawes , ( as we dare . ) Let no Sword , but the Sword of Iustice , decide the Quarrell , and cut off the offenders . There are but two sorts of Enemies that are the Causers , and continuers of our Calamities , these only are the hinderers and opposers of our Peace . The one Cause is our sinnes , and the other the Rebels ; they are the accursed Amalekites , that disturbes and stops us from our enjoying our happy rest . If we would reforme the one , we should quickly tame the other ; Therefore let all such as are averse to Peace , and delight in Theft and slaughter , know , that though the plundering Achan can filch a Wedge of Gold , yet there are stones to beat out the Braines of such a Theevish knave ; Let the wise Achittofooles , ( or accursed Councellors to this Rebellion set their Houses in order and goe hang themselves . The King is still the King , and ( maugre all the malice of Hell and Hell-hounds ) he is wall'd about with divine providence and protection ; His gratious God , in whom he only trusts , will defend him , and arise and scatter his Enemies ; though you have Rob'd our Royall David of His Militia and Militarie defences , yet there is a Sling in store , that with a peble can make the greatest Goliahes Grovell amongst you . Shamgar , shall not want a Goade , Gedion a Pitcher , and every Loyall Souldier of the Kings , will be a Sampson , to beat your Braines out with your owne Rebellious jaw-bones , that her bloudy Issue ( or Inundation ) may be stopt by Calme and gentle Peace . But if this afflicted Land hath such an unexpected and undeserved happinesse stored up in the eternall Treasurie of gracious Providence , then happy and blessed are those men that are ordain'd to be the Instruments and meanes for a blessed Reconciliation and atonement , thrice happy may they be , and the fruition of blessings Temporall and Eternall be upon them and their Posteritie● ; boast no more of the Spirit , but endeavour to embrace his Spirit , who pronounced the Peace-makers blessed ; and said whose Children they should be called . By which consequently it must follow , that the Peace-breakers are accursed of God , and also may justly be called the Children of their Father the Devill . Leave off Triumphing and glorying in your mischeivous Imaginations , give over Bragging and Vaunting of your Villanous Victories , forbeare to force your Christian Brethren to murther one another in so damnable a Cause as this unfellowed Rebellion . But if you will run further on , and fill up the measure of your Iniquities , with boasting of the successe of your execrable Designes , in the end you shall find , that to boast of wickednesse is a degree beyond wickednesse , and to be Ostentatious in ungodly actions , is the road way to double damnation . Before I conclude , I must propound a Querie , or ask you a question . You have promis'd , that if His Majesty would come and comply with you , that then you will make Him , a more Great , Rich , and glorious King then any of His Predecessors ever were . Now we would fain know , and we doe all desire you to let us understand , how , which way , and by what meanes this Greatnesse , Wealth and Glory may be by you conferr'd upon the King ? if you will doe us the favour as to send us your mind in writing , we will pay the bearer , and if we can perceive any probabiliti●s ▪ that you can performe what you promised , we will be humble suppliants to His Majesty , to accept your kind offer : in the mean time , ( before you make Him so Great and Rich as you talk of ) I think it a very goodstep , to that Greatnesse and State , if you will be pleased to give him his own againe , which you have proditoriously and perfidiously taken , and doe still detain from Him . Thus have I truly shewed the Causes of the Kingdomes griefes , to be at first a Melancholy madnesse , then it was hydropically pult up ( in many places ) with Ambition , Malice , Revenge , Avarice , Sects , Schismes , and Fantasticall Sathanicall Innovations and perturbations . I suppose that nothing can cure her but the Law well applyed ; to which I leave you and our selves , and shut up all with a distick . O haples England ! 't is thy only good , To Purge well , and give over letting Blood . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A95527e-30 a Some men are all these , some both of these , some one of these , and some neither . b Fooles and Children will tell truth . c The Subject is rob'd of his Right , and brought into slavery , when the Knights and Burgesses ( whom they have elected , according to the Lawes ) are expulst out of the House of Commons , contrary to the Law . d Nor would I have you beleeve , that I wrote this Pamphlet , but I doe know my selfe able to scann all your Neckverses ; if you have occasion to use me . e This was one Mr Shepheard ; and I would he had then obtained his desire : or I wish , that either Mouse-traps , or any other snare might catch them , or make them mend their manners . f Sir Edward Askew . g If you had dared to suffer your five famous Members to have been tryed by the Law , we had had no Warres . h Our wealth is also a great part of our faults . i These were the chief causes of the Kingdomes diseases . k A moderne Patriarch , who brought Lay-Elders , and little ruffs in fashion in Scotland . l Another moderne Patriarch , who hath added short haire , & long eares to M Knoxe's Reformation . m A faire and high Presbyterian promotion . n I desire not to be mistaken , for I taxe none but Rebels , either English or Scots , and it is knowne , that there are honest men and knaves in every Nation . o The Lords promised to defend their lawes and liberties from violation and alteration . p Such as Mr ●●st , who over prophecied himselfe in Pigge at my Lord Majors Table , which proved perfume in the afternoone to the Congregation at Saint Martins . q The first Apostle , that ever left his Eares twice for Libelling . r I desire the common people to be no more cousened out of their Estates and Lives . ſ If the lawes might decide the Quarrell , wee should quickly have a Close-Committee of Heads standing on the top of the two Houses . 
A95543	----	The generall complaint of the most oppressed, distressed commons of England. Complaining to, and crying out upon the tyranny of the perpetuall Parliament at Westminster. / Written by one that loves, serves, and honours the King, and also holds the dignity of a parliament in due honourable regard and reverence. Jo. Ta. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A95543 of text R200259 in the English Short Title Catalog (Thomason E300_15). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 18 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A95543 Wing T462 Thomason E300_15 ESTC R200259 99861065 99861065 113193 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A95543) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 113193) Images scanned from microfilm: (Thomason Tracts ; 49:E300[15]) The generall complaint of the most oppressed, distressed commons of England. Complaining to, and crying out upon the tyranny of the perpetuall Parliament at Westminster. / Written by one that loves, serves, and honours the King, and also holds the dignity of a parliament in due honourable regard and reverence. Jo. Ta. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 8 p. By L. Lichfield, [Oxford : 1645] Jo. Ta. = John Taylor. Caption title. Imprint from Wing. Annotation on Thomason copy: "Oxon Sept: 10th 1645". Reproduction of the original in the British Library. eng England and Wales. -- Parliament -- Early works to 1800. Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 1642-1649 -- Early works to 1800. A95543 R200259 (Thomason E300_15). civilwar no The generall complaint of the most oppressed, distressed commons of England.: Complaining to, and crying out upon the tyranny of the perpet Taylor, John 1645 3398 2 0 0 0 0 0 6 B The rate of 6 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. 2007-02 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2007-03 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2007-04 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2007-04 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2008-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE GENERALL COMPLAINT of the most oppressed , distressed COMMONS of ENGLAND . COMPLAINING TO , AND Crying out upon the Tyranny of the perpetuall Parliament at Westminster . Written by one that loves , serves , and Honours the KING , and also holds the Dignity of a Parliament , in due honourable Regard and Reverence . JO . TA. IT is needlesse to demand , from what Shire , County , City , Corporation , Town , Burrough , Village , Hundred , Hamlet , House , Family , Persons or person this Complaint comes , for it were a rare search , and would trouble the braines of all the cunning men , and wisest Mathemagicians , with all the judiciall Astrologers , and Fortune-telling Figure-flingers , to tell us truly where this complaint is not . It is so universall epidemically generall , that whosoever hath not a greivous sence or remorcefull feeling of it , hath a soule stupified , and a conscience benum'd mortally with a dead Palsie . We the most miserable amongst men , do make humble suite to you , who ( next to our sinnes and selves ) are the cause and causers of our miseries , you do best know the nature and condition of our greifes , you had the power , will and skill to wound us , and you have the art and knowledge to make us whole ; you have the secret vertue which is faigned to have been in Achilles his Launce , to hurt and cure . We are sure that the King most graciously eas'd and removed all our greivances , ( or as many as we complaind on ) there was not a monopoly , a tax , toll or tribute left , that was greivous or justly offensive , but they were all either made voyd , or mitigated , neither did his Majesty deny you any thing that you did demand , nor you ever grant him any thing that he requested ; and to our griefes we speak it , it had bin better he had been more sparing of his Royall grants , except you had more . Loyally and gratefully dealt with him , and acknowledg'd them . We need not tell you , that the Protestant Religion is almost cast out of the Kingdom by you . It is impertinent to give you notice how you have us'd the King , so that the meanest of your selves would be loath to be so dealt withall ; How we have been beggard and ruin'd by you , we know ▪ how you have inrich'd your selves by undoing us , you know , and when you will endeavour to seek peace , and cease those mischiefes which we suffer , God knowes . Selfe do , selfe have , is an old English proverb . It is only our own doings that hath undon us , it was our tongues that extold you , it was our voyces that was your advancement , it was our noyses that Elected you to that power , which you have turn'd into intollerable Tyranny , it was we that did rend our throates for a Kimbolton , a Hampden , a Pym , a Martin , a Haslerigge , a Hollis , and a great many more then a good many . It was we that made you Knights and Burgesses for the Shires , Counties , Cities , Townes , Burroughs , Corporations ; and for us , it was our follies to do all this for you , for which it is too too manifest what you have done for us . Thus by our meanes you were rais'd , and by our ruines you are inrich't . The premisses considered , we humbly beseech you to take these few following lines into your serious considerations , and at your pleasure or leisure , confute them if you can . It is a maine point of Romish doctrine , that the Pope cannot erre in matters of Faith , ( which error of theirs is far from our opinions ) but this we are too sure of , that you have all erred in matters of trust . We the Freeholders and Commons of England do lamentably know and feell it ; folly and foolishnesse , are the only opposites to wisdome , and Knowledge hath no enemy but Ignorance , this being confest , we pray you to remember , that our rash folly elected you to be the representative body of the Kingdome , which we did acknowledge you to be ; and we most humbly desire you to consider , that we are the body of the Kingdome represented ; now as a thing representative is but a derivative from that which is the represented , so is your power derived from us , and from us who are but men full of infirmities and errors ; though our voyces had power to give you power , to be a house of Commons in Parliament ; yet from those voyces and folly of ours , we had not power to infuse infallible and inerrable wisedom into you . Wee ( as men ) confident of your integrity , did chuse you as our Proctors and Atturnies , the Kings Majesty , with his best Councell , and we ( the poore Commons ) entrusted you with all we had , but we had no mistrust that you would deceive us of all we had , we trusted you to maintaine our Peace , and not to imbroile us in an universall endlesse bloudy War . We trusted you with our Estates , and you have Rob'd , Plunder'd , and undon us ; we trusted you with our freedomes , and you have loaden us with slavery and bondage , we trusted you with our lives , and by you we are slaughter'd and murther'd every day . We trusted you not with our soules , and yet you with a new Legerdemain doctrine , a jugling kind of Preaching , a pestiferous swarme of Preachers , a Mechanick kennell of illiterate knaves , with the threats and Tyranny that you have used to us , and the execrable Covenants which you have forc'd us to take , we might with as much safety , and lesse hazard , have trusted our soules with Judas , Julian th' Apostate , or the Divell himselfe , as with you , or your Doctrines . Many thousands of Soules , ( loaden with their sinnes ) are Impenitently parted from the Bodies of His Majesties Subjects ( by your seducements and inforcements ) and ( alas ) few of them knew the Cause wherefore they fought , or wherefore they so cruelly kill'd one another . You will say , that you fought for the Protestant Religion , ( that 's a lye ) it is known , that it was never offer'd to be taken from you , and that His Majesty will live and dye in it , and the defence and maintaining of it ; doe you fight against the King , as fearing He would take from us our Lawes and Liberties , in those points we plainly perceive , that He never intended any such wickednesse ? But if He had had any such unkingly and Tyrannicall intention , you have prevented Him , and done it your selves . Doe you fight against Him , and Murther His loving Subjects , for feare that He should bring in Forreigne-Nations to destroy us , ( which thought never entred into His Royall Heart ) but you have done the same , both against His Majesty and us , you have at exceeding Rates and prices ( with our Monies ) bought Rebellious Scots , who have sold themselves to you , and to work wickednesse , no purpose to ruine the King , the Kingdome , you and us , and as the Divell could not overthrow man without the help of the woman , so you could never destroy this Church and State without your Golden temptation of those accursed hirelings , which if you were to fell them againe , at halfe a quarter of the price they cost , it must be at a very deere Market . It is an old saying , that the King of Spaine is a King of Men , because the Spaniards ( as men and Loyall Subjects to him ) doe honour , obey , and serve him . That the French King is a King of Asles , because of the insupportable heavy burthens , Taxes , and slavery which they undergoe and tamely beare . But ( 't is said ) the King of England is a King of Devills , because of their disobedient murmurings , and often Rebellion . For the nature of an English man is , not to know when things are well , which if we would have knowne , things had not now been so bad as they are . Doe you fight against the King to remove some Evill Councellors from him ? we know that you have long fidled upon that string , yet you could never name one of those Counsellors , nor relate any particulars against them , that might so much , as put a scratch , scarre , or spot upon their Integrity , either to His Majesty or the publique good ; all that can be said , either against the King , Queene , Nobility , or any Loyall Royalist , is vented through your learned Conduite Pipe , Mercurius Britanicus , who ( by your especiall favour and Command ) Railes and Reviles , Sheetly , weekly , most wickedly weakly , Cum Privilegio . Thus we perceive , that you pretend to fight for the Protestant Religion , and all the World may see and say , you have made a delicate dainty Directory , new Religion of it . And you have fought for the King , ( and that is most certaine ) you have fought and sought for the King , but it hath been to Catch him , and make him no King . You have fought for our Liberties , and have taken them from us , you have fought for the Gospell , and have spoyl'd the Church , you have fought for our Goods , and yee have em , and you have fought to destroy the Kingdome , and you have done it . What can you doe , or what would you doe more ? and still you persist in these impious Courses , and there is no hope of any end of our sufferings . The many Gulleries , that you have put upon us , would fill a large Volume , if they should be written or Printed ; and because you shall not think us to be fencelesse , or such Block-heads as you would make us , you shall know that we know somewhat . And to lay aside all old Dogge-tricks , how this Rebellion hath been a Brewing more then 60 yeares , we will let you know , that we know many of your State sleights and Policies within these three yeares , &c. You have extorted great Summes of Mony from us , under the pretence of Relieving of Ireland , and with the same Monies , you have maintain'd a bloudy Warre in England , so that whatsoever was Raked from us , for the preservation of one Kingdome , you have imployed for the destruction of three ; for England is cheated , Ireland , defeated , and Scotland is heated in her owne dissentious flames . You have pretended Treaties for Peace , when ( God knowes ) Peace was never in your Thoughts , ( as by your impudent Propositions and demands may appeare ) for if the Turke had made a Conquest here , he could not have devised , or would not have enjoyn'd and tyed the King , and his true Liedge People to harder Conditions , and then ( to salve your Reputations ) you have caused your lying Lecturers , and slanderous Pamphlets to revile the King , and lay all the fault on him for the breaking off of the Treaties , when as you had Consulted , and knew before , that your unreasonable demands , neither would or could be granted . You have abused and mock'd God , with false and forged Thankesgivings , for such Victories as never were , and with your Sophisticated Triumphs of Guns , B●lls , Bonefires , Ballads , Libells , and other Imposture-like expressions , whereby we have been seduc'd and encouraged to give more and more Contributions , and buy our owne utter undoeings , for ( like corrupted and covetous Lawyers ) you would not take so much paines , or doe us the curtesie to begger us Gratis , to ruine us for nothing ; And you would not by any entreaty make us miserable at a cheap rate , or except we gave you our , Monies , almost to the uttermost farthing . Many of your Faction ( like decoy Ducks ) brought in their Plate and Monies at the beginning of this Rebellion , in large proportions to the Gull-Hall of London , whereby thousands of people were gull'd , by deed of guift , ( or deeds of shift ) and new found Loanes , and Contributions , to maintaine your greatnesse , and feed your bottomlesse Avarice , whilest we , and the rest of your new shorne sheep , had no other assurance , but the Ayery pawne of a Confounding Faith , call'd Publique ; and those cheating Decoyes , who first gave , and lent to draw poore Fooles on , Those Knaves had their Plate and Monies privately delivered to them againe , whilest ours was accursedly imployed against the true Religion , a just King , and all His Loyall Protestant Subjects . You have ( to make your Victories seem great ) caused many of your owne Tattard Ensignes , Cornets , or Colours of Foot and Horse , with many Armes , to be privately sent out of the City in an Evening at one Port , and brought in at another Port in the morning in Triumph , making the People beleeve , that those Colours and Armes , were taken from the King at such and such a Battell ; and this trick hath hook'd us into more chargeable and Rebellious Contributions . You have caused thousand of Armes to be bought and brought from Forreigne Nations , and those Armes , you have proclaim'd to be taken at Sea , and that either the King had bought them to make Warre against the Parliament , or that they were sent Him for that purpose , from some Catholique Prince ; and this slight of Hand , hath often jugled away our Monies . You have many times , made Women believe that their slaine Husbands who went forth with you alive , were alive still , in such or such Garrisons of yours , when you knew the same men were killed , and left dead in ditches for Crowes meat , but that His Majesty gratiously caused the dead to be buried , and the maimed and wounded , to be relieved and cured . You have contrived Letters in Private Chambers , and you have subscribed them from Forraigne Kings and States , or from the Queene to the King , or to some other Persons of Worth and Eminency neer His Majesty , which Letters have been as full of forged dangerous consequences , as your wicked braines could thrust or foist into them ; And by some miraculous way , the said Letters have been either intercepted on the Land ( by some vigilant great Commander of yours ) or they have been said to be taken at Sea by your valiant Admirall ; then are those Letters openly Read , and copied out a thousand waies , Printed ten Thousand waies , disperst a Hundred Thousand waies , and believed by Millions of People , by the prateing of your Preachers and Pamphlets , which tricks have cost us some Millions of money , with many thousand of our lives . You have many times taken ( or intercepted ) Letters which have been sent from some of His Majesties Armies , Garrisons , or some other true and Loyall places or Persons , or from the King or Queene , one to another ; and those Letters have been publiquely Read and Printed , but you have new moulded them , you have made your own Constructions and Interpretations on them , and in a word , you have not only the procreating Art , to beget and engender such newes , as you please to have ; but also you are fruitfull in conceiving , and producing such Letters as hath or may be most for your advantage ; as Lately you have used in His Majesties Cabinet , which you took at Naseby , and brake open at Westminster , and made the Letters therein , to speake what you would have them ; But ( maugre all your malice ) the said Letters are as so many Christall Mirrours , wherein His Kingly care , His Christian Piety , His immoveable Constancy , in the service of God , in the Protestant Religion , in the Peace of His Kingdoms , and in the well-fare of His Subjects , all these His Letters doe shew ( in despight of your wrested comparisons , and mingle , mangle jugling alterations ) His Transcendent goodnesse , and most gratious inclination , and Royall Resolution , and withall , your mischievous intentions are plainly manifested , in that you still persist in your wicked courses against so gratious a Soveraigne . But there are more judicious , learned , and grave writers then any of us ( your oppressed Complainants ) whose Pens have better described your playing fast and loose in this kind , to whose better Informations we leave you . We doe most heartily wish , that you were all as weary of being Tyrants , as we are in bearing the insupportable burthens of your Tyranny ; we doe humbly beseech you to be pleased to give over beggering and killing of us , we pray you to suffer us to live and enjoy the Protestant Religion , we desire you to let us feed and subsist upon that little which you have left us ( against your wills ; ) and lastly , we entreat you not to enforce us into a desperate Condition , and make us doe we know not what . His Majesty , as a true Defender of the true Faith , doth with Truth defend that Faith , and He hath most graciously often offered you Peace and Truth , both which you pretend , but you intend neither . Lay down your Armes , that 's the nearest way to a Peace , and leave Lying , and you shall have Truth . If you will not , we would have you know , that we must take a course , that neither our Purses or Persons , shall not long maintaine you and your Rebellious Garrisons , ( who are no other but dens of Theeves ) and as our Tongues did lift you up , and made you able to abuse the King , the Religion , Church , and Kingdome , so our Hands must help to pull , or knock you downe , to recover part of that of which you have bereft us , and to keep about us to Relieve us , that little which yet we have left us . FINIS . 
A95551	----	The Kings Most Excellent Majesties vvelcome to his owne house, truly called the honour of Hampton Court, vvho came thither on the 24. of August, and so consequently hoped and humbly desired to White-Hall. Written by his Majesties most humble servant John Tailor, one of the yeoman of His Maiesties guard. Alius poeta aquatticus. From my house at the Crowne in Globe Lane (alias Phœnix Ally, nere the Globe Taverne in Long Aker. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A95551 of text R201864 in the English Short Title Catalog (Thomason E404_31). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 10 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A95551 Wing T472 Thomason E404_31 ESTC R201864 99862353 99862353 114510 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A95551) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 114510) Images scanned from microfilm: (Thomason Tracts ; 64:E404[31]) The Kings Most Excellent Majesties vvelcome to his owne house, truly called the honour of Hampton Court, vvho came thither on the 24. of August, and so consequently hoped and humbly desired to White-Hall. Written by his Majesties most humble servant John Tailor, one of the yeoman of His Maiesties guard. Alius poeta aquatticus. From my house at the Crowne in Globe Lane (alias Phœnix Ally, nere the Globe Taverne in Long Aker. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [2], 6 p. s.n.], [London : Printed in the yeare. 1647. Place of publication from Wing. In verse. Annotation on Thomason copy: "Aug: 27". Reproduction of the original in the British Library. eng Charles -- I, -- King of England, 1600-1649 -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. Great Britain -- History -- Civil War, 1642-1649 -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. A95551 R201864 (Thomason E404_31). civilwar no The Kings Most Excellent Majesties vvelcome to his owne house,: truly called the honour of Hampton Court, vvho came thither on the 24. of A Taylor, John 1647 1560 4 0 0 0 0 0 26 C The rate of 26 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2007-02 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2007-02 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2007-03 Jonathan Blaney Sampled and proofread 2007-03 Jonathan Blaney Text and markup reviewed and edited 2008-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE KINGS MOST EXCELLENT MAJESTIES VVellcome to his owne House , Truly called the Honour of Hampton COVRT , VVho came thither on the 24. of August , and so consequently hoped and humbly desired to White-Hall . Written by his Majesties most humble servant John Tailor , one of the Yeoman of His MAIESTIES Guard . Alius Poeta Aquatticus . From my House at the Crowne in Globe Lane ( Alias Phaenix Ally , nere the Globe Taverne in Long Aker . Printed in the Yeare . 1647. THE KINGS Most Excellent MAIESTIES , VVellcome to his owne House , Truly called the Honour of Hampton-Court . MOst Gracious ( suffring ) Soveraigne Lord & King Had I a quill pluckd from the Phaenix wing , Or Homers Muse , or Virgills towring stile , ( Thy ten times long wish'd wellcom to compile ) Had I all these great aides , all were to few , Thy Subjects long expected joyes to shew Thy presence hath inspir'd this Muse of mine , More then Apollo and his triple Trine , Hee 's dull braind , and a Poet cannot bee , That wants a Muse ( great King ) and writes of thee . A juster Master servants never had And servants false to man , to bad But as the Eagle never cast his eyes , On abject , objects , vermin , gnatts or flies , So thou not minding injuries , hast still , VVith thine owne goodnes overcome their ill . Ingratefull men tooke cloathing , wages , food , From thee , and have repaid thee ill for good : Which thy Heroicke mind still slighted hath , As most unworthy of thy Royall wrath . Ther 's not a grace , a vertue or an Art , But are in●hroned in thy Princely Heart : Faith and Fame unshaken with the wrongs , Of perjur'd wri●ers and perfidious tongues , Thy 〈◊〉 Hope in thy Majestique Breast That fix'd beliefe , shall be made manifest By Charitie , which thou hast shew'd to those Who are thy cursed causeles mortall foes . VVhereby thy virtues patient constancy , Hath won thee a more glorious victory , Then if ( by conquest ) thy sharpe sword should peirce Through all the Kingdomes of the Universe . Thy Mercy and thy Iustice are the Jems , And richest Jewells in thy Diadems . To summe up all ; 't is truly understood Ther 's nothing may be named just or good But is in thee ingraff'd , and nothing ill Thou sayst or do'st , but 't is against thy will . Thy Master Christ ( the light made thee discerne , And this blest Lesson thou from him didst learne . That he that Loveth , Father , Mother , VVife , Children , earths goods or glory , or his life More then his Saviour ( such a sordid Spirit ) Is most unworthy of his Masters Merrit : This precept thou hast practis'd this thy troath Kept in thy Christian Coronation Oath , Wife , Children , Crowne , and Kingdomes , friends , Life , all Thou hazzard'st either to rise , stand or fall , Thy Love ( Great King ) to thy great King of Kings , By thee hath been pr●●'d above all things , For which he 'le crowne his Gifts in thee , and hee Will crowne thee glorious with Eternitie : Thy Constancie hath trip'd up Fortunes heele , Thy mind ne're minded her Inconstant Wheele : What good , or bad Occurrances effected ; Thy Spirits were ne're errected or dejected ; Not with a stuped Humor stoicall , But with a Christian Mind Majesticall : And with Impregnable strong confidence , Still trusting in the Almighties Providence . Now may wee see that Patience , Clemencie , Religion , and true Magnanimitie , Are Talents lent , whose value doth excell : And all the Proffits their's that use them well . And ( Royall Sir ) Thou hast done well ( no doubt ) Thou hast not wrap'd thy Talent in a Clowte , But so improv'd thy trust , in thy Trustee , That ten fold ten times more thy trust shall bee . And now poore England , hath so many years Bin Plagu'd with causles Jellosies and Feares , Which ( like Blacke clouds ) disperst with wavering wind : Made Wit squint-ey'd , and Vnderstanding blind , Whearby each howre was frighted hence sweet Peace And every moment miseries encrease : But as bright Phebus ( interpos'd by Clowds , Which with a mourning face the earth e'n shrowds ) At last dispells them with his Radient Ray , And makes the dolsome darke , a glad some day . So wee ( mistaken Subjects ) hood-winck over With Ignorance , our sights againe recover , King Charles shines cleare , as Sols Corn scant Beames Hath prov'd our Jeallous Feares wer ●●sse then dreames , Milde Dove-like King brings Peace with th' Ollive Braunch , Whose Love ( like Balsome , Bleeding wounds will staunch Our chearefull faces , shewes our minds ( like Mirrors ) Free from suspitious thoughts , or needlesse Terrors : Hearts over flow'd with Joyes , Thankes up erected To God , who for us hath this good effected : Our joyfull eyes shewes Aprill drops of pleasure , And showrs of Joy fill th' Horizons measure , Th' Almightie hath thy troubles seene and heard , And hath thy upright heart in such regard That ( mauger mischiefe ) His outstretched Arme Hath , doth , and will defend thee still from Harme , Base Shiemei Railes not as he erst hath done , Nor rake-hell Sheba ( Bieri's cursed sonne ) Doth rore and raile with lowd Infernall yell , Or cry out , to your Tents o Israell That Sectaries no more contention Breed But humbly learne to know their Christian Creed , That Iudasses no more Hayle Master say When as they meane their Master to betray . That Reverend Levites of a new hatcht Brood , Make England drunk no more with English Blood . That we may have our Qveene and Prince once more , And use them Kinder then we did of yore . Triumphing trumpetts sownd shall mount toth' starres Hnd not the dreadfull charge of civill warres , Sweet Peace ( we hope shall still the Churlish Drumb , And Murd'ring , Thundring , Guns . Commanded Dumb , Iustice and Mercy both Kisse ( when they meete ) No heavy sad complaining in our streete , No more shall England bath in her owne Gore , Or leading to captivity no more . Sword ( drunk with blood ) shall in their Scabberds rest , No plundering or free quartering shall molest . The painefull farmer , ploughman , or the swaine , And weapons shall give place to gownes againe . The Church resume her rights she had before , The Cleargie to be scandaliz'd no more . Thus each man hopes he shall his right enjoy And all cease one another to destroy . The King shall have his owne againe , and see , His enemies asham'd and odious bee . Upon thy Head still flourish may thy Crowne , And ten times troubled be thy high Renoune That thee and thine in glory here may Raigne , Untill the King of glory come againe : For such as speake peace , and doe warre intend , For any Sinister or privateend . That of tranquillity doe prate and prattle , But wish for war , yet dare not see a Battle , Let all such never claime a Christian Name Whose trade or pleasure in Blood and Flame , Of their deere Country ; to Rippe , Rend and teare , Their Mothers Woombe , which did such Bastards beare . Belike some feare that Peace would drive 'em hence To England New , or th' Isle of Providence : Virginia , Barmoodies , or St. Kitts . Barbadoes , Mevis , or befides their witts : But those that offering to the Altars bring , To raise new warres 'gainst Kingdome Lawes and King , Let them goe West-ward to the Triple tree , And like false Traitours , hang both he and shee . Those Sonnes of Hittits and of Amorites , God doe to them , as to the Midianites , As Heathen Sisera , and as Fabin dyd At Endors Field , ( where Kishowes Brooke doth slyd ) As they became as dunge , so let them be , That to a blessed Peace will not agree , The peace of God , grant us thou God of Peace , Let us cease sinne , thou wil't our sorrowes cease . Let 's frame our lives according to thy word Ang let no Sword be drawne , but Justice Sword , To which ends , thou good God of Consolation , Send happy peace to this afflicted Nation . So wellcome good King Charles to Hampton Court , And God be still thy shield , defence and Fourt . FINIS . 
A95576	----	Rebells anathematized, and anatomized: or A satyricall salutation to the rabble of seditious, pestiferous pulpit-praters, with their brethren the weekly libellers, railers, and revilers, Mercurius Britannicus, with the rest of that sathanicall fraternity. / By John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A95576 of text R200070 in the English Short Title Catalog (Thomason E285_13). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 14 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A95576 Wing T501 Thomason E285_13 ESTC R200070 99860874 99860874 113001 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A95576) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 113001) Images scanned from microfilm: (Thomason Tracts ; 47:E285[13]) Rebells anathematized, and anatomized: or A satyricall salutation to the rabble of seditious, pestiferous pulpit-praters, with their brethren the weekly libellers, railers, and revilers, Mercurius Britannicus, with the rest of that sathanicall fraternity. / By John Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 8 p. [By H. Hall], Oxford, : Anno Domini, 1645. Printer's name from Wing. In verse. "Directed especially against various Parliamentary newspapers"--Madan. Annotation on Thomason copy: "May 25". Reproduction of the original in the British Library. eng Hall, Joseph, 1574-1656 -- Poetry -- Early works to 1800. Newspapers -- England -- Early works to 1800. A95576 R200070 (Thomason E285_13). civilwar no Rebells anathematized, and anatomized: or A satyricall salutation to the rabble of seditious, pestiferous pulpit-praters,: with their breth Taylor, John 1645 2130 19 0 0 0 0 0 89 D The rate of 89 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the D category of texts with between 35 and 100 defects per 10,000 words. 2007-02 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2007-02 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2007-03 Mona Logarbo Sampled and proofread 2007-03 Mona Logarbo Text and markup reviewed and edited 2008-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion REBELLS Anathematized , And Anatomized : OR , A Satyricall Salutation to the Rabble of seditious , pestiferous Pulpit-praters , with their Brethren the Weekly Libellers , Railers , and Revilers , Mercurius Britannicus , with the rest of that Sathanicall Fraternity . By JOHN TAYLOR . OXFORD , Anno Domini , 1645. LO , I the Man , whose stout impartiall quill Dares venture to confront the damned Crew , Knaves who make will their law , and law their will , And from the Presse and Pulpit slanders spew : Such as with seven great Devils are possest , Besides of small ones ( Legions infinite ) Whose fiery Furies doth our Peace molest , And to disturbe us , fight , back-bite , and write . First , Lucifer inspires 'em all with Pride , Next , Sathan gives 'em wrath and dire disdain ; Their malice still Belzebubs power doth guide , And Mammon gives 'em thirst of lawlesse gain ; Belphegor is the god of Gluttony , And Abaddon rules Sloth and Idlenesse , Last , Asmodaeus gives 'em Lechery . And these seven Devils the Rebells do possesse , And these have made them mad , and madly rise Against the Lord of Hosts , and his Anointed , Who by their Preaching and their printed Lyes , Our Church , Lawes , States , and Freedomes have disjointed : Wither that dainty Darling of the Dolts , The Scout , the Scotish Dove , and the Diurnall , These ( like to Gothams Archers ) shoot their bolts , And madly strive the Truth to overturne all ; Bold Booker soares above the nineteenth spheare , And tells us newes of strange prodigious Comets , Portending Treasons , all which once a yeare Most Astrologicall he squirts and vomits . The Scribe that writes the Weekes Intelligence Th' Occurrents , and the flying lying Poste , To do 'em service I le be at expence T' allow them every day a Gravesend Toast . These with the Cobling , Tub , pernicious Preachers , With Prinne and Burton , ( sweet-fac'd crop-ear'd Curres ) These Parliamentall props , these Treason Teachers , Have in three Kingdomes kept most ▪ stinking stirres ; Therefore yee misled Coxcombs all take heed , Believe no more those cursed sonnes of Belial , Their damned Counsels makes poore England bleed , And doth from God and your Alleageance steale yee all . Outragious Mars hath stolne Astreas sword , And wrong ( with down ▪ right blowes ) hath knock'd right down , Whilest universally it is deplor'd , That no man can ( with Justice ) own his own . Mean men to men of meanes you up have mounted , And men of me●es you have to mean men turn'd , The worst of Villaines you have best accounted , God's peace , the King's ▪ and Kingdomes yee have scorn'd ; London and Westminster ye 'ave been the Chaire Of violence , t' Act mischiefes ( by a Law ) Prepare your selves , expect the dismall yeare , Which you or your forefathers never saw . The time will come when all these royall graces , And peacefull offers which you scorn'd and slighted , You shall be glad to beg for , and your faces Full of confusion , pittilesse , despighted : Your Propositions , ( Puppy sitions rather ) Which you to Oxford sawcily did bring , And after that to Vxbridge , men may gather Your meanings to the Kingd●me . Church , and King . You knew before you came , your bold demands Unfit for you to aske , or any Subjects , Or for a King to grant , that understands Himselfe , or loyall Servants , from base Abjects . Your Parliament ( pretended ) coynes pretences , And to pretend Peace ▪ you are still resolv'd , And still run on in treacherous offences , Wherein our miseries are all involv'd . Worse than the Jewes , God's Houses you defile Worse than the Heathen , you your King contemn'd Worse than the Turkes , you Morall good exile Worse than the Sodomites , you friends condemn'd , Worse than the Atheists , you no God will know , Worse than the Libertines , Lawes down you trample , Worse than the Wolves , that can no mercy shew , Worse than the Devill himselfe , ( beyond example ) Pliny , and Gesner , and brave Mandevill , Have wrote of Monsters , and their salvage natures ; But never tongue of man or writers quill Could parallel you for most impious Creatures ; Your bloudy lives makes Neroes life no sin , Your faithlesse zeale makes Julian just and holy , Your loyalties like Roman Cat●line ; Beyond their Crimes all Ages shall extoll yee : You to more cursed cruelty are turn'd Than Idumean , Jew , Turke , Heathen , Roman . If the Sword spare you , you le be hang'd or burn'd , Or sterv'd , or die abhorr'd , pitied by no man . You have been hatching Plots foure yeares and more , Contriving and suborning Forgeries , T' abuse the King ▪ and yet will not give o're To scandall him with Libells and with Lyes . True Parliaments have held the names of Kings Of sacred Dignity , and high esteem , Next under God , above all earthly things , Their Royalties and Honours they did deem ; And in this case , and all that you have done You have declar'd your selves no Parliament ; King , Church , and Kingdome , you have all undone , Or sought their ruine , or their detriment . He were a cunning wise-man that could name One good man , that hath scap'd your tyranny ; Or one whose braine , or hands could mischiefe frame , Whom you have not advanc'd for villany . That poyson-framing Hownd Britannicus , That weekly snarling whelpe of Cerberus , That Microcosme of Morbus Gallicus , That Lernean venom'd Snake of Erebus . The Devill oft doth good , against his will , So you and he doth , for your damn'd despight Proves the King's good , although you wish him ill , And makes his royall splendour shine more bright . Thus may you see , you Impes of impudence ▪ You mighty Gogmagogs of ignorance , You Gulphes of most ridiculous non-sence , Your super-arrogating arrogance , You cannot do the wickednesse yee would , But on your cursed heads it doth returne ; The Devill that teacheth to blaspheme and scold , Cannot protect you from contempt and scorne . Since God's eternall Son was crucifide , No Gracious Prince was ever more abus'd , Than good King Charles , oppos'd , and vilifide , Robb'd , ransack'd , and still wickedly traduc'd . And your almighty favours are extended To those that could revile most , or do worst ; And by usurped power you have defended And arm'd Rebellion , which God hath accurst . A Parliament should cure a Kingdomes griefes , A Parliament should publique wrongs appease ; But you in stead of giving us reliefes , Have made the med'cine worse than the disease , Worse , ten times worse , ten times worse double told ▪ The worst of ills , more bad than bad can be , Our miseries unmeasur'd manifold ▪ And to three Kingdomes spoile you all agree . Upon great Strafford first your fury fell , His blood must temper your untemper'd morter , His head did hinder , you could not rebell To any purpose till he was cut shorter . Nor could you Protestant Religion cast , Or with such ease worke its confusion further , Untill the tenth of January last , You took an Arch-prop from it by foule murther . That Function whereof the Apostles were , Saint Peter and Saint James ▪ and more of them , Records Ecclesiasticall ▪ shewes cleare Of Sees of Antioch , and Jerusalem . And blest Saint Paul , made Bishops , ( as 't was meet ) The one young Timothy , the other Titus ; The one of Ephesus , th' other of Crete ▪ Who by their lives and Doctrines do enlight us , And since for sixteen hundred yeares and more , All Christian Churches , Kingdomes , Lands , and Climates Have been instructed in God's Lawes and lore By Reverend Bishops , Patriarchs , and Primates . Therefore if men would note the aime and scope Of these superbian haughty Independants , Each one would in his Parish be a Pope To whose pipes must the King and all his men dance . Therefore beware , good Countrimen beware , Beware of them , and of a new Presbytery , Beware their Leaven , have especiall care , Let not their mad-brain'd Doctrine all besquitter yee . They seem t' uphold the Protestants good Cause , By murdering those of that Religion chiefe , Bereaving all that Clergy , without Lawes , Of life , goods , libertty , and all reliefe . They feigne to purge Religion sound and sure , By bloody Civill Warre , which will destroy it ; And they will keep it neat , sincere , and pure , So noysome as may totally annoy it . Blinde with rebellious or prepostrous zeale You have possest men with most strange opinions , That Churches ruine is the Churches weale ; And make the King great , ( but without Dominions ) He is your Soveraigne for your safe protection , And you ( like Subjects ) will obey and serve him , Yet you no service owe him , or subjection , And do the worst you can to rob or sterve him . Strife cannot be the ground of true Religion , Your Sects , worse than the Alcaron , or Talmud , ( Like Mah'mets zeale from 's jugling , whispring Pigeon ) Not from the Scriptures Chrystall Fount but all mud . What hath the Kirke of Scotland here to doe ? Must Englands Church to that be now subjected ? We are not conquer'd , or made slaves I troe ▪ Or so unlearn'd , by them to be directed . Our Church with theirs doth neither meddle nor make , Our Lawes to alter theirs do not intrude ; Why then do they presumptuous power thus take , And censure us , as they had us subdude ? Must Oxford and her sister Cambridge both Learne of Saint Andrews , and of Aberdene ? They to be taught of us would both be loath , Yet I am sure there is some ods between . Let Englishmen remember what they are , And call to minde , but what they erst have been , And what they must be , if they not prepare To shun the mischiefes they are compass'd in . You see that our Religion and our Law Our foes would ruinate both root and branch , And captivate ▪ us with a sl●vish awe , Or with our blouds their bloudy thirst would staunch . Upon the Crown , the Royall Paire and Race , Upon the Peeres , the Clergy , Church , and Gentry , Without respect of Person , Time , or Place , To spoile all , they have made a sawcy entry . Yet of that noble Northerne Nation are Thousands and thousands to their Soveraigne true , And such as are not , Let consuming Warre Confound 'em , or the Hangman claime his due . And now you Pulpiteers , and Pamphleterians . I take my leave in your own friendly manner ; And you most high and mighty Westminsterians , Who have ( too long ) displaid rebellions Banner , For your blacke deeds , Heavens vengeance lies in store For Bourchier , Yeomans , Tomkins , Challoner , For Lords , Knights , Gentry , Commons , thousands more , Whom you have murdered by intestine Warre . The worme of conscience shall consume your lives , Hell and damnation shall be your just hire . Your children shall be miscreants , your wives Begger'd , except Repentance swage God's ire ▪ Which that it may do , I most humbly pray , And let our fervent prayers to Heaven ascend , That you may turne , before the last of May ▪ That Englands miseries may have an — END .