Divers crabtree lectures Expressing the severall languages that shrews read to their husbands, either at morning, noone, or night. With a pleasant relation of a shrewes Munday, and shrewes Tuesday, and why they were so called. Also a lecture betweene a pedler and his wife in the canting language. With a new tricke to tame a shrew.
         Taylor, John, 1580-1653.
      
       
         
           1639
        
      
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         99848256
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             Divers crabtree lectures Expressing the severall languages that shrews read to their husbands, either at morning, noone, or night. With a pleasant relation of a shrewes Munday, and shrewes Tuesday, and why they were so called. Also a lecture betweene a pedler and his wife in the canting language. With a new tricke to tame a shrew.
             Taylor, John, 1580-1653.
          
           [12], 228 p.
           
             By I. Okes, for Iohn Sweeting, and are to be sold at his shop in Cornehill, neare Popes-head Ally at the signe of the Crowne,
             Printed at London :
             1639.
          
           
             Dedication signed: Mary Make-peace [i.e., John Taylor].
             Woodcut illustration, with caption "Skimmington, and her Husband," on A1v, facing title page.
             Signatures: A⁶ B-K¹² L⁶.
             Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library.
          
        
      
    
     
       
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             Skimmington
             ,
             and
             her
             Husband
             .
          
        
         
         
           Divers
           Crab-tree
           Lectures
           .
        
         
           Expressing
           the
           severall
           Languages
           that
           shrews
           read
           to
           their
           Husbands
           ,
           either
           at
           morning
           ,
           
             Noone
             ,
             or
             Night
          
           .
        
         
           With
           a
           pleasant
           Relation
           of
           Shrewes
           Munday
           ,
           and
           Shrewes
           Tuesday
           ,
           and
           why
           they
           were
           so
           called
           .
        
         
           Also
           a
           Lecture
           betweene
           a
           Pedler
           and
           his
           wife
           in
           the
           Canting
           Language
           .
        
         
           With
           a
           new
           tricke
           to
           tame
           a
           Shrew
           .
        
         
           Printed
           at
           London
           by
           I.
           Okes
           ,
           for
           
             Iohn
             Sweeting
          
           ,
           and
           are
           to
           be
           sold
           at
           his
           shop
           in
           Cornehill
           neare
           Popes-head
           Ally
           at
           the
           signe
           of
           the
           Crowne
           .
           1639.
           
        
      
       
         
         
         
           
             Mary
             Make-peace
          
           ,
           of
           the
           Mannor
           of
           All-well
           ,
           in
           
             Northamptonshire
             ,
             to
             all
             the
             Sisters
             of
             her
             Female
             Society
             ,
             Health
             ,
             Hearts-ease
             ,
             and
             Happinesse
             .
          
        
         
           Sweete
           Sisters
           ,
        
         
           ANd
           fellow
           Spinsters
           ,
           (
           for
           the
           weakest
           of
           us
           is
           no
           worse
           ,
           and
           the
           best
           no
           better
           )
           it
           is
           the
           Character
           under
           which
           all
           our
           Sexe
           is
           comprehended
           ;
           I
           lovingly
           salute
           you
           all
           hoping
           you
           are
           in
           as
           good
           health
           of
           body
           ,
           and
           in
           quiet
           
           of
           minde
           ,
           as
           I
           was
           at
           the
           writing
           hereof
           :
           These
           are
           further
           to
           let
           you
           understand
           ,
           that
           it
           is
           come
           to
           my
           hearing
           ;
           how
           by
           the
           course
           carriage
           of
           some
           amongst
           our
           Sexe
           ;
           others
           ,
           whose
           modesties
           are
           no
           way
           guilty
           of
           the
           like
           misdemeanour
           ,
           are
           not
           privately
           bated
           ,
           but
           (
           even
           in
           Print
           )
           publickly
           branded
           :
           &
           by
           such
           who
           consider
           not
           ,
           that
           as
           there
           was
           a
           
             Maechael
             Helena
          
           ,
           so
           there
           was
           a
           Matron-like
           Hecuba
           ;
           and
           as
           a
           loose
           Lais
           ,
           so
           a
           loyall
           Lucrese
           .
           Nor
           that
           we
           might
           as
           well
           retort
           upon
           them
           ,
           that
           as
           there
           was
           an
           Hercules
           ,
           so
           there
           was
           an
           Herostratus
           ;
           and
           as
           a
           Salemon
           ,
           so
           a
           Sinon
           .
        
         
           But
           all
           this
           is
           to
           little
           or
           no
           purpose
           :
           you
           know
           my
           
           name
           is
           
             Mary
             Make-peace
          
           ,
           and
           have
           alwaies
           studied
           to
           
             make
             peace
          
           betwixt
           both
           Sexes
           :
           Then
           ,
           though
           they
           raile
           at
           us
           ,
           let
           not
           us
           revile
           them
           :
           for
           patience
           must
           prove
           our
           best
           preservative
           :
           For
           as
           the
           Grammer
           rule
           learnedly
           instructeth
           us
           :
           
             Foemineo
             generi
             tri●●untur
             —
             propria
             quae
             maribus
          
           :
           which
           is
           ,
           as
           I
           interpret
           it
           :
           
             Though
             the
             Feminine
             gender
             bee
             troublesome
             ,
             let
             us
             seeke
             to
             please
             proper
             men
             ,
             least
             they
             bring
             us
             downe
             upon
             our
             Maribones
             :
          
           which
           done
           ,
           we
           shal
           prevent
           all
           prejudice
           and
           divert
           all
           disasters
           .
        
         
           I
           confesse
           there
           is
           
             Tabitha
             Turbulent
          
           ,
           of
           a
           terrible
           tongue
           ;
           and
           
             Franke
             Froward
          
           ,
           who
           though
           shee
           bee
           
           given
           more
           to
           pouting
           than
           to
           prating
           ,
           yet
           neither
           of
           them
           I
           hold
           to
           be
           necessary
           :
           
             Betrisse
             Bould-face
          
           doth
           all
           things
           without
           blushing
           :
           And
           
             Ellen
             Ever-heard
          
           makes
           too
           much
           noyse
           amongst
           her
           neighbours
           :
           And
           of
           the
           like
           quality
           and
           condition
           are
           
             Parnell
             Prate
             a
             pace
          
           ,
           and
           
             Rachell
             Raile
             at
             him
             :
             Vrsula
             Vpsefreeze
          
           is
           condemned
           to
           for
           her
           uncivill
           carriage
           ;
           as
           proov'd
           to
           be
           no
           better
           than
           a
           pot
           companion
           :
           As
           for
           
             Hannah
             Hit
             him
             home
          
           ,
           and
           
             Ioaene
             Iowle
             him
             well
          
           ,
           they
           are
           valued
           in
           the
           ranke
           of
           Vixens
           ,
           and
           will
           be
           loud
           by
           no
           allowance
           :
           these
           hnmours
           I
           like
           not
           .
        
         
           Marry
           againe
           ,
           (
           for
           that
           's
           our
           womens
           constant
           phrase
           ,
           
           when
           we
           bury
           our
           husbands
           )
           There
           are
           on
           the
           contrary
           side
           ,
           
             Grace
             grieve
             him
             not
          
           ,
           a
           simple
           and
           good
           soule
           :
           
             Kate
             Kisse-well
          
           no
           cunning
           ,
           but
           a
           conniving
           creature
           :
           
             Luce
             Lye-close
          
           no
           wanton
           ,
           but
           a
           willing
           wench
           :
           
             Dorothy
             Doe-little
          
           not
           to
           be
           caveld
           at
           ,
           because
           so
           cald
           :
           for
           you
           know
           the
           Proverbe
           ,
           so
           said
           ,
           so
           done
           ,
           and
           little
           said
           soone
           amended
           :
           and
           for
           
             Sisly
             Sweet-lips
          
           my
           sister
           ,
           and
           
             Margery
             Quiet
          
           my
           Cousen-german
           :
           if
           all
           the
           rest
           were
           of
           their
           simplicity
           ,
           and
           modesty
           ,
           men
           shonld
           not
           have
           such
           reason
           to
           cavell
           at
           us
           ,
           nor
           wee
           such
           cause
           to
           complaine
           of
           them
           .
           Alas
           ,
           why
           should
           not
           Ivory
           teeth
           bridle
           intemperate
           tongues
           ?
           
           and
           soft
           lippes
           conceale
           fullen
           hearts
           ?
           or
           why
           should
           a
           faire
           face
           bee
           the
           betrayer
           of
           hidden
           faults
           ?
           of
           all
           these
           things
           ,
           as
           a
           Sister
           of
           your
           society
           ,
           I
           thought
           good
           to
           advise
           you
           .
        
         
           
             Given
             at
             our
             Mannor
             of
          
           ALL-VVELL
           .
           
             MARY
             MAKE-PEACE
          
        
      
       
         
         
           The
           Table
           .
        
         
           
             OF
             Shrewes
             Munday
             ,
             &
             shrewes
             Tuesday
             ,
             and
             why
             they
             are
             so
             called
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               1
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             an
             Apothecaries
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             ,
             who
             was
             chosen
             Seavenger
             in
             his
             parish
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               10
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Barbers
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               21.
            
             
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Serieant
             ,
             or
             Catchpoles
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               26
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Country
             Sadlers
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               32
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             an
             Horse-coursers
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               37
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Taylers
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               47
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Poets
             wife
             to
             her
             Husband
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               59
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Farriers
             wife
             to
             her
             Husband
             ,
             and
             a
             neighbour
             a
             Glasiers
             wife
             comming
             to
             mediate
             the
             matter
             ,
             fall
             both
             a
             railing
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               66
            
          
           
             Item
             ,
             for
             the
             Farriers
             dyet
             ,
             which
             he
             
             had
             alwaies
             from
             his
             wife
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               36
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Butchers
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               89
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             shooe-makers
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               96
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Bakers
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               102
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             an
             Inne-keepers
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               109
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Tobacco
             mans
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Locke-smiths
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               128
            
          
           
             Skimmingtons
             Lecture
             to
             her
             Husband
             ,
             which
             is
             the
             errand
             sold.
             
          
           
             
               p.
               132
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             discreet
             and
             modest
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             ,
             who
             was
             an
             Aldermans
             Deputy
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               150
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             an
             Informers
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               162
            
          
           
             A
             Lect.
             of
             a
             Country
             mans
             wife
             ,
             that
             was
             a
             gentlemans
             Baily
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               169
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Brokers
             wife
             to
             her
             Husband
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               177
            
          
           
             A
             Lecture
             betwen
             a
             pedler
             and
             his
             wife
             ,
             in
             the
             Canting
             phrase
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               188
            
          
           
             A
             discourse
             between
             two
             maids
             concerning
             their
             sweet-hearts
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               196
            
          
           
             A
             new
             way
             to
             tame
             a
             shrew
             .
          
           
             
               p.
               210
            
          
        
      
    
     
       
         
         
           A
           Crab-tree
           Lecture
           .
        
         
           
             Of
             shrewes
             Munday
             ,
             and
             Shrewes
             Tuesday
             ,
             and
             why
             they
             were
             so
             called
             .
          
           
             THey
             are
             much
             mistaken
             who
             call
             these
             two
             dayes
             ,
             in
             the
             beginning
             of
             the
             first
             weeke
             of
             Lent
             ,
             Shrove-Munday
             
             and
             Shrove-Tuesday
             ,
             for
             wee
             have
             no
             word
             either
             from
             the
             old
             
               Brittish
               ,
               Danish
            
             ,
             or
             Saxon
             Tongue
             ,
             neither
             from
             any
             other
             intermixed
             language
             significant
             to
             that
             purpose
             ,
             proper
             to
             the
             dayes
             ,
             or
             suiting
             with
             the
             time
             .
             But
             if
             the
             Reader
             desire
             to
             bee
             instructed
             in
             the
             truth
             from
             the
             Originall
             .
             Know
             that
             the
             words
             are
             mis-written
             ,
             and
             mis-sounded
             ,
             and
             mistaken
             ,
             for
             they
             should
             be
             read
             and
             voyc'd
             Shrewes-Munday
             ,
             and
             Shrewes-Tuesday
             ;
             and
             the
             reason
             why
             they
             
             ought
             to
             bee
             so
             ,
             I
             have
             beene
             instructed
             thus
             .
          
           
             It
             is
             by
             ancient
             Custome
             held
             to
             be
             the
             only
             season
             for
             Collops
             and
             Egges
             ,
             Fritters
             ,
             and
             Pancakes
             :
             and
             as
             in
             the
             City
             ,
             so
             both
             in
             the
             Court
             and
             Countrey
             :
             But
             the
             accident
             following
             ,
             which
             I
             am
             now
             to
             relate
             ,
             first
             happened
             in
             the
             Countrey
             .
          
        
         
           
             Of
             a
             Farmers
             Wife
             .
          
           
             AN
             honest
             plaine
             simple
             Farmer
             ,
             on
             this
             leading
             day
             of
             the
             weeke
             ,
             comming
             hungry
             from
             
             the
             Plough
             ,
             found
             his
             Wife
             busily
             making
             Pancakes
             for
             him
             and
             his
             family
             :
             The
             good
             man
             being
             at
             that
             time
             more
             humorous
             than
             needed
             ,
             beganne
             to
             be
             very
             capcious
             at
             every
             thing
             ,
             taking
             unjust
             exceptions
             at
             the
             coursenesse
             of
             the
             flower
             ,
             the
             taste
             of
             the
             Suite
             ,
             the
             thicknesse
             of
             the
             Batter
             ,
             and
             the
             like
             .
             At
             which
             the
             good
             woman
             ,
             though
             shee
             smothered
             it
             outwardly
             ,
             yet
             vexing
             inwardly
             to
             bee
             so
             crost
             and
             troubled
             in
             her
             businesse
             ,
             as
             knowing
             he
             was
             better
             experienced
             in
             the
             
             Plough
             ,
             than
             the
             Panne
             ,
             and
             to
             eate
             Pancakes
             better
             than
             to
             make
             them
             ,
             intreated
             him
             to
             sit
             downe
             and
             be
             patient
             ,
             and
             shee
             would
             presently
             shew
             him
             a
             new
             tricke
             for
             his
             Learning
             .
          
           
             The
             simple
             Novice
             desirous
             of
             novelty
             ,
             beganne
             more
             calmly
             to
             listen
             to
             her
             ,
             and
             asked
             her
             what
             it
             was
             ?
             who
             readily
             answered
             againe
             :
             Sweete
             Husband
             you
             see
             this
             Pancake
             I
             am
             now
             turning
             :
             marke
             it
             well
             :
             now
             take
             this
             platter
             in
             your
             hand
             ,
             and
             goe
             into
             the
             yard
             ,
             bending
             with
             your
             Backe
             
             against
             the
             doore
             ,
             looking
             straight
             forward
             ,
             not
             stirring
             from
             where
             I
             shall
             place
             you
             ,
             and
             when
             it
             is
             ready
             ,
             I
             will
             tosse
             it
             from
             the
             fire
             out
             of
             the
             toppe
             of
             the
             Chimney
             ,
             &
             it
             shall
             fall
             directly
             into
             your
             dish
             ,
             and
             bee
             ready
             at
             the
             watch-word
             when
             I
             shall
             say
             Now.
             
          
           
             The
             silly
             man
             thinking
             shee
             had
             spoke
             seriously
             was
             soone
             perswaded
             ,
             and
             kept
             his
             place
             (
             with
             his
             face
             from
             the
             doore
             )
             stil●
             looking
             upwards
             towards
             the
             toppe
             of
             the
             Chimney
             when
             it
             would
             first
             flye
             out
             ,
             and
             
             after
             fall
             :
             when
             she
             having
             given
             the
             watch-word
             ,
             came
             suddenly
             behinde
             him
             ,
             &
             with
             the
             pan
             and
             all
             clapt
             the
             Pancake
             upon
             his
             head
             ,
             with
             a
             blow
             which
             had
             almost
             strooke
             him
             downe
             :
             and
             to
             excuse
             her selfe
             ,
             said
             thus
             ;
             O
             Husband
             ,
             if
             your
             blocke
             head
             had
             not
             beene
             in
             the
             way
             ,
             the
             Pan-cake
             that
             light
             upon
             your
             pate
             had
             falne
             into
             the
             dish
             :
             and
             I
             fearing
             what
             is
             now
             falne
             out
             ,
             thought
             to
             have
             catcht
             it
             in
             the
             panne
             ,
             if
             you
             had
             faild
             in
             the
             platter
             .
          
           
             At
             which
             words
             the
             
             husband
             rubbing
             his
             Browes
             ,
             well
             basted
             with
             the
             fat
             of
             the
             Panne
             ,
             said
             unto
             her
             ;
             Now
             a
             mischiefe
             take
             thee
             for
             an
             arrant
             Shrew
             :
             this
             wil
             make
             me
             think
             on
             this
             Shrewes
             Munday
             (
             for
             thy
             sake
             )
             whilst
             I
             live
             :
             and
             from
             thence
             ,
             it
             is
             thought
             ,
             the
             day
             had
             its
             first
             denomination
             .
             And
             without
             question
             upon
             the
             like
             accident
             done
             by
             some
             curst
             Shrew
             or
             other
             came
             the
             next
             day
             following
             to
             bee
             cald
             Shrewes
             Tuesday
             ,
             &
             so
             weeping
             Wednesday
             ,
             terrible
             Thursday
             ,
             frowning
             Friday
             ,
             and
             sullen
             
             Saturday
             ,
             especially
             when
             her
             husband
             denyes
             her
             to
             goe
             amongst
             her
             Gossips
             on
             Sunday
             .
          
           
             Hence
             comes
             it
             also
             that
             if
             any
             one
             hath
             crost
             another
             in
             a
             businesse
             ,
             or
             done
             him
             a
             bad
             Office
             ,
             which
             mny
             prove
             to
             his
             dammage
             or
             hinderance
             ,
             the
             phrase
             that
             is
             still
             most
             in
             custome
             ,
             is
             to
             say
             ,
             that
             such
             ,
             or
             such
             a
             man
             ,
             did
             purpose
             ,
             or
             hath
             done
             me
             a
             shrewd
             turne
             .
          
           
             And
             now
             followes
             severall
             Shrewes
             Lectures
             to
             their
             Husbands
             ,
             and
             in
             their
             severall
             professions
             :
             
             First
             of
             an
             Apothecaries
             wife
             to
             her
             Husband
             ,
             because
             he
             deales
             in
             Simples
             ,
             and
             hath
             taken
             upon
             him
             the
             Office
             of
             a
             Scavenger
             .
          
        
         
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             an
             Apothecacaries
             wife
             to
             her
             Husband
             ,
             who
             is
             chosen
             a
             Scavenger
             in
             his
             Parish
             .
          
           
             NOW
             Good-man
             Simpleton
             ,
             we
             shall
             have
             you
             grow
             so
             proud
             now
             you
             have
             got
             
             an
             office
             ,
             that
             you
             thinke
             none
             is
             good
             enough
             to
             bee
             your
             fellow
             :
             I
             had
             thought
             your
             owne
             imployment
             in
             your
             profession
             had
             beene
             trouble
             enough
             to
             you
             ,
             and
             not
             to
             have
             sought
             for
             an
             Office
             ,
             and
             made
             friends
             for
             it
             likewise
             :
             Now
             I
             see
             you
             are
             troubled
             with
             the
             Simples
             ,
             you
             had
             not
             need
             to
             goe
             a
             simpling
             every
             yeare
             as
             you
             doe
             ,
             God
             knowes
             you
             have
             so
             little
             wit
             already
             :
             I
             would
             you
             would
             goe
             the
             next
             time
             &
             get
             some
             Compounds
             to
             furnish
             your
             seife
             with
             ,
             &
             to
             concoct
             your
             Brains
             ,
             
             for
             you
             have
             now
             but
             a
             shallow
             wit
             ,
             and
             are
             glad
             to
             weare
             a
             Sattin
             Cappe
             to
             keepe
             that
             in
             too
             :
             you
             had
             need
             keepe
             home
             ,
             and
             learn
             to
             know
             something
             more
             in
             your
             profession
             ,
             than
             what
             is
             already
             printed
             in
             bookes
             .
             When
             any
             one
             of
             your
             acquaintance
             is
             not
             well
             ,
             and
             desires
             your
             advice
             ,
             then
             you
             can
             prescribe
             them
             nothing
             but
             a
             little
             Stybium
             ;
             then
             when
             another
             comes
             ,
             Stybium
             ;
             this
             is
             all
             you
             can
             doe
             ,
             onely
             a
             little
             Stybium
             .
             Goe
             ,
             thou
             art
             a
             stupified
             Asse
             ,
             and
             knowes
             better
             how
             to
             purge
             thy
             
             Patients
             money
             out
             of
             his
             pocket
             ,
             than
             to
             remove
             any
             disease
             from
             his
             body
             :
             you
             wil
             come
             to
             them
             ,
             and
             aske
             them
             how
             they
             doe
             ,
             this
             is
             all
             ,
             and
             bid
             them
             be
             of
             comfort
             ,
             when
             there
             is
             a
             great
             deale
             of
             danger
             ,
             and
             pretend
             to
             feele
             their
             pulse
             ,
             when
             your
             minde
             is
             to
             filtch
             their
             purse
             .
             I
             would
             there
             were
             a
             meanes
             how
             to
             have
             your
             Braines
             taken
             out
             ,
             and
             braid
             in
             a
             Morter
             ,
             that
             they
             may
             bee
             a
             little
             better
             compounded
             ,
             for
             as
             they
             be
             ,
             thou
             wilt
             never
             be
             able
             to
             discharge
             thy
             brave
             Office
             ,
             asse
             thou
             
             calst
             it
             ,
             of
             a
             Scavenger
             ,
             for
             thou
             canst
             not
             cast
             up
             any
             accompt
             ,
             nor
             reckon
             up
             any
             summe
             above
             twenty
             shillings
             ;
             I
             hope
             thou
             wilt
             lose
             by
             it
             ,
             and
             ever
             after
             be
             jeered
             for
             thy
             folly
             ;
             you
             imagine
             your selfe
             a
             brave
             fellow
             ,
             doe
             you
             not
             ,
             because
             you
             are
             met
             by
             some
             who
             knowes
             you
             ,
             with
             a
             money
             bagge
             in
             the
             one
             hand
             ,
             and
             a
             Rowle
             of
             the
             parishioners
             names
             in
             the
             other
             :
             you
             thinke
             your selfe
             not
             a
             little
             graced
             to
             bee
             called
             to
             this
             preferment
             ,
             because
             you
             would
             be
             taken
             notice
             of
             in
             the
             Parish
             :
             
             and
             now
             you
             have
             got
             a
             great
             many
             of
             Titles
             by
             your
             Office
             ,
             the
             better
             to
             honour
             your
             person
             withall
             ,
             and
             these
             are
             some
             of
             them
             ,
             which
             your
             memory
             cannot
             beare
             :
             first
             you
             are
             Duke
             of
             the
             Dung-Cart
             ,
             then
             Earle
             of
             the
             Channell
             ,
             Lord
             of
             the
             Soyle
             ,
             Vicount
             Rubbish
             ,
             Commander
             of
             the
             Sea-coale
             Ashes
             ,
             and
             Master
             of
             the
             Dung-hill
             ,
             a
             goodly
             company
             are
             they
             not
             :
             It
             is
             no
             marvaile
             indeede
             you
             must
             make
             you
             a
             new
             suite
             of
             Apparrell
             to
             performe
             this
             Office
             in
             ,
             and
             to
             goe
             up
             and
             downe
             the
             
             street
             and
             from
             doore
             to
             doore
             ,
             to
             gather
             your
             money
             in
             ,
             as
             if
             you
             were
             to
             beg
             an
             Almes
             ;
             and
             goe
             twice
             or
             thrice
             before
             you
             can
             be
             paid
             your
             due
             :
             you
             had
             better
             never
             had
             served
             this
             base
             stinking
             office
             ,
             and
             have
             given
             so
             much
             money
             out
             of
             your
             purse
             ,
             because
             you
             loose
             so
             much
             time
             ,
             and
             likewise
             is
             in
             danger
             of
             every
             raskally
             knave
             or
             promouters
             complaint
             to
             one
             Justice
             or
             other
             ,
             if
             a
             little
             durt
             bee
             left
             ,
             unlesse
             you
             give
             them
             a
             Fee
             ,
             as
             you
             often
             have
             done
             to
             hold
             their
             tongues
             ;
             or
             else
             you
             
             will
             bee
             clapped
             by
             the
             heeles
             a
             day
             and
             a
             night
             ,
             and
             this
             is
             all
             the
             good
             you
             will
             get
             by
             your
             great
             Office.
             
          
           
             Husb.
             I
             prethee
             good
             wife
             have
             patience
             ,
             it
             is
             but
             a
             little
             while
             longer
             ;
             I
             have
             served
             it
             hitherto
             with
             commendations
             &
             I
             hope
             I
             shal
             come
             off
             with
             credit
             ,
             though
             it
             be
             a
             little
             time
             lost
             and
             money
             spent
             ,
             I
             will
             get
             it
             up
             againe
             ,
             for
             that
             is
             the
             first
             Office
             that
             every
             man
             must
             serve
             ,
             and
             so
             by
             degrees
             come
             higher
             and
             higher
             ,
             and
             at
             length
             to
             be
             Church-warden
             ,
             and
             
             then
             let
             me
             alone
             to
             helpe
             my selfe
             ,
             for
             all
             my
             losse
             of
             time
             and
             expence
             of
             money
             ;
             I
             will
             then
             beg
             hard
             for
             the
             poore
             ,
             but
             charitie
             begins
             at
             home
             ;
             it
             is
             but
             when
             I
             receive
             money
             from
             the
             others
             that
             collect
             it
             ,
             be
             a
             little
             close
             fisted
             ,
             or
             hold
             it
             betweene
             my
             fingers
             with
             the
             palme
             of
             my
             hand
             down-wards
             ,
             and
             make
             as
             though
             I
             had
             a
             louse
             in
             my
             necke
             ,
             and
             shrug
             a
             little
             of
             one
             side
             ,
             and
             then
             of
             the
             other
             ,
             and
             so
             thrust
             it
             downe
             into
             my
             necke
             where
             I
             have
             a
             list
             of
             cloath
             about
             my
             waste
             that
             it
             cannot
             fall
             
             downe
             or
             drop
             out
             :
             let
             me
             alone
             ,
             I
             will
             be
             cunning
             enough
             for
             them
             I
             will
             warrant
             you
             ,
             and
             though
             thou
             count
             me
             but
             a
             shallow
             brain'd
             ,
             &
             simple
             fellow
             ,
             because
             I
             am
             an
             Apothecarie
             and
             use
             simples
             ;
             yet
             thou
             shall
             know
             I
             am
             not
             such
             an
             ideot
             or
             foole
             to
             loose
             all
             and
             be
             laughed
             at
             too
             ,
             but
             I
             will
             make
             some
             body
             pay
             for
             it
             ;
             and
             so
             good
             wife
             doe
             not
             any
             way
             disparage
             me
             in
             my
             profession
             or
             judgement
             any
             more
             to
             any
             of
             my
             patients
             ;
             and
             though
             some
             of
             our
             owne
             trade
             call
             me
             at
             their
             pleasures
             and
             say
             I
             
             looke
             like
             an
             Asse
             ,
             yet
             I
             am
             not
             one
             ,
             let
             those
             terme
             me
             foolish
             and
             simple
             ,
             if
             I
             fall
             into
             any
             of
             their
             hands
             to
             take
             Physicke
             .
             I
             thinke
             those
             are
             the
             greatest
             simplisians
             that
             use
             Physicke
             most
             ,
             and
             so
             I
             hope
             good
             wife
             I
             have
             given
             you
             satisfaction
             for
             this
             time
             ,
             desiring
             you
             to
             have
             patience
             ,
             in
             saying
             little
             ,
             and
             doing
             no
             more
             ,
             and
             in
             so
             doing
             ,
             we
             shall
             remaine
             alwaies
             friends
             and
             lovers
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Barbars
             wise
             to
             her
             Husband
             .
          
           
             O
             Thou
             base
             Shaver
             ,
             who
             wilt
             not
             suffer
             an
             haire
             to
             grow
             amisse
             in
             another
             ,
             when
             thou
             thy selfe
             livest
             out
             of
             all
             order
             ;
             thou
             that
             pellest
             and
             polest
             the
             Commons
             ,
             and
             boastest
             that
             a
             King
             must
             be
             bare
             to
             thee
             ,
             when
             thou
             art
             forc't
             to
             stand
             ,
             when
             every
             Begger
             sits
             that
             commeth
             under
             thy
             fingers
             :
             thou
             thinkest
             thy
             
             selfe
             a
             trimme
             fellow
             ,
             and
             canst
             trim
             thy selfe
             every
             day
             in
             the
             weeke
             ;
             when
             ,
             upon
             thine
             owne
             knowledge
             ,
             I
             cannot
             be
             trimmed
             once
             in
             a
             fortnight
             :
             nay
             ,
             and
             am
             glad
             of
             that
             too
             ,
             if
             I
             could
             tell
             how
             to
             come
             by
             it
             :
             but
             what
             can
             bee
             expected
             from
             such
             a
             scrape-scull
             as
             thy selfe
             ;
             who
             art
             no
             better
             than
             a
             Nitty
             ,
             nay
             ,
             a
             very
             lousie
             fellow
             ,
             who
             though
             thou
             never
             repentest
             thy selfe
             of
             thine
             owne
             sinnes
             ,
             makest
             every
             man
             that
             sits
             in
             thy
             Chaire
             ,
             to
             put
             on
             white
             Linnen
             ,
             and
             doe
             penance
             :
             For
             thou
             hast
             (
             I
             dare
             
             sweare
             in
             my
             conscience
             )
             more
             base-sonnes
             in
             private
             ,
             than
             Basons
             hanging
             at
             thy
             doore
             in
             publicke
             :
             Nay
             ,
             let
             the
             quietest
             men
             in
             the
             Parish
             (
             I
             might
             say
             the
             Church-Wardens
             themselves
             )
             come
             to
             bee
             trimmed
             at
             thy
             shoppe
             ,
             thou
             keepst
             such
             a
             bawling
             in
             their
             eares
             ,
             that
             (
             if
             the
             Bell-man
             be
             abroad
             )
             the
             whole
             streete
             rings
             on
             't
             :
             but
             when
             any
             businesse
             of
             import
             comes
             ,
             then
             thou
             art
             still
             out
             of
             the
             way
             .
             Where
             wert
             thou
             ,
             you
             Rogue
             ,
             when
             the
             Queane
             your
             Nurse
             was
             to
             bee
             shaven
             ?
             you
             
             must
             bee
             at
             Sea
             (
             a
             poxe
             take
             you
             )
             I
             was
             glad
             to
             play
             the
             Barber
             in
             your
             absence
             ,
             and
             to
             use
             the
             Razor
             my selfe
             ,
             and
             for
             my
             slovenly
             worke
             to
             make
             the
             world
             talke
             of
             mee
             :
             You
             must
             leave
             a
             poore
             bashfull
             boy
             at
             home
             ,
             and
             taught
             him
             onely
             to
             barbe
             the
             beard
             ,
             and
             correct
             the
             haires
             of
             the
             chinne
             ;
             but
             when
             that
             worke
             came
             to
             be
             done
             ,
             he
             was
             as
             farre
             to
             seeke
             ,
             as
             thou
             wert
             to
             bee
             found
             ,
             and
             that
             was
             farre
             enough
             I
             warrant
             you
             :
             I
             was
             glad
             to
             use
             the
             aide
             and
             counsell
             of
             two
             or
             three
             of
             my
             best
             Gossips
             ,
             
             and
             when
             she
             was
             shaven
             ,
             because
             the
             cocke
             was
             dry
             ,
             we
             were
             forc'd
             to
             carrie
             her
             to
             the
             pumpe
             and
             wash
             her
             ,
             and
             there
             had
             beene
             a
             goodly
             sight
             if
             your
             rogue-ship
             had
             beene
             there
             to
             have
             seene
             it
             ;
             you
             went
             to
             sea
             with
             a
             goodly
             haire
             of
             your
             head
             ,
             &
             now
             you
             are
             come
             home
             againe
             as
             bald
             as
             a
             birds-arse
             ,
             and
             what
             excuse
             have
             you
             for
             this
             ?
             when
             any
             man
             taxeth
             thee
             of
             it
             ,
             thou
             biddest
             them
             everie
             night
             looke
             to
             the
             sweeping
             of
             thy
             shop
             ,
             and
             there
             went
             the
             haire
             away
             ,
             and
             is
             this
             a
             sufficient
             
             answer
             for
             thee
             thou
             pole-davies
             ?
          
        
         
           
             A
             Sergeant
             or
             Catchpoles
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             A
             Sergeant
             ?
             I
             would
             I
             had
             married
             with
             a
             Syrreverance
             ,
             when
             I
             matcht
             with
             thee
             ;
             what
             canst
             thou
             doe
             without
             thy
             Yeoman
             ,
             and
             if
             hee
             stand
             not
             to
             thee
             ,
             (
             which
             is
             seldome
             )
             what
             art
             thou
             then
             varlet
             ?
             thou
             art
             the
             Blood-hound
             ,
             and
             hee
             is
             the
             Beagle
             ,
             to
             set
             ,
             and
             watch
             ,
             and
             follow
             ,
             and
             
             lye
             lurking
             in
             secret
             corners
             to
             catch
             poore
             men
             as
             they
             goe
             about
             their
             businesse
             when
             they
             least
             thinke
             of
             it
             ;
             and
             then
             thou
             wilt
             haile
             them
             like
             a
             dog
             through
             the
             street
             ,
             if
             they
             will
             not
             give
             thee
             what
             mony
             thou
             wouldst
             have
             ;
             thou
             dealest
             in
             so
             many
             of
             other
             mens
             cases
             abroad
             ,
             that
             thou
             canst
             say
             little
             or
             nothing
             to
             thine
             own
             (
             thogh
             it
             lie
             never
             so
             ope
             )
             at
             home
             ,
             a
             catch
             pole
             ,
             a
             cutpurse
             ,
             nay
             a
             verie
             caterpillar
             of
             the
             common
             wealth
             ,
             teaching
             bankrupt
             freemen
             to
             sing
             a
             counter-tenor
             in
             woodstreet
             
             and
             the
             Poultry
             ,
             and
             practisest
             pricksong
             in
             the
             Suburbs
             amongst
             thy
             Roisters
             and
             pole-cats
             ;
             I
             confesse
             thou
             art
             a
             shoulder
             clapper
             ,
             but
             thou
             seldome
             clappestwhere
             thou
             shouldest
             clap
             ,
             thou
             pestilent
             pill-garlicke
             ,
             you
             are
             cald
             an
             officer
             (
             with
             a
             vengeance
             )
             I
             pray
             you
             what
             good
             office
             have
             you
             ever
             done
             me
             ,
             unlesse
             to
             keep
             me
             above
             staires
             ,
             whilest
             you
             lodge
             others
             in
             the
             hole
             ,
             and
             that
             is
             a
             curtesie
             with
             a
             curse
             to
             you
             ;
             thou
             pratest
             to
             mee
             of
             the
             paper
             house
             ,
             I
             had
             as
             live
             thou
             hadst
             kist
             me
             
             where
             I
             sat
             on
             Saturday
             ,
             for
             to
             thee
             the
             cheekes
             with
             eies
             ,
             and
             the
             blind
             cheekes
             are
             all
             one
             ,
             and
             so
             thou
             art
             all
             one
             ,
             and
             I
             thinke
             wilt
             never
             bee
             otherwise
             ;
             you
             will
             be
             cald
             a
             young
             man
             too
             ,
             you
             old
             rogue
             ,
             but
             I
             pray
             you
             when
             shall
             I
             see
             any
             of
             your
             youthfull
             tricks
             ?
             not
             in
             hast
             I
             warrant
             you
             ;
             you
             will
             be
             sure
             to
             take
             an
             order
             for
             that
             ;
             and
             if
             I
             should
             die
             to
             morrow
             ,
             you
             know
             where
             to
             have
             your
             second
             wife
             the
             next
             day
             after
             :
             the
             same
             Bell
             that
             tolls
             to
             my
             buriall
             ,
             will
             ring
             out
             to
             you
             second
             
             bridalls
             :
             But
             now
             I
             thinke
             upon
             it
             ,
             I
             le
             spit
             in
             my
             hand
             and
             take
             better
             hold
             ,
             to
             put
             your
             nastie
             worship
             out
             of
             your
             conceit
             ,
             and
             to
             set
             wiseakers
             your
             whoores
             nose
             besides
             the
             cushion
             :
             nay
             it
             shall
             goe
             hard
             but
             I
             will
             be
             before
             hand
             with
             you
             both
             :
             thou
             broughtest
             home
             a
             prisoner
             to
             mee
             last
             weeke
             ,
             a
             young
             Grocer
             that
             had
             newly
             set
             up
             for
             himselfe
             ,
             and
             left
             him
             in
             charge
             with
             me
             ,
             till
             thou
             wentest
             abroad
             to
             talke
             with
             his
             creditors
             ;
             I
             confesse
             I
             kept
             him
             there
             
             close
             prisoner
             ,
             and
             a
             good
             guest
             he
             was
             for
             the
             time
             ,
             for
             hee
             discharged
             the
             whole
             house
             ,
             and
             over
             and
             above
             hee
             paid
             mee
             soundly
             ;
             since
             whose
             departure
             I
             have
             not
             beene
             very
             well
             at
             ease
             ,
             and
             for
             his
             sake
             when
             I
             am
             sicke
             ;
             let
             mee
             have
             Sinnamon
             enough
             ,
             and
             Ginger
             enough
             ,
             and
             Sugar
             ,
             Nutmeg
             ,
             and
             Cloves
             enough
             ;
             but
             I
             shall
             never
             more
             for
             his
             sake
             endure
             any
             Mace
             in
             my
             Cawdle
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             Country
             Sadlers
             wise
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             VVHen
             I
             married
             with
             a
             Sadler
             ,
             I
             would
             I
             had
             married
             with
             a
             Sow-gelder
             ,
             nay
             in
             my
             conscience
             I
             thinke
             I
             should
             have
             had
             the
             better
             match
             of
             the
             two
             ,
             for
             so
             many
             yeeres
             I
             have
             beene
             thy
             wife
             ,
             and
             yet
             this
             Wiseaker
             could
             never
             find
             the
             wit
             to
             set
             the
             saddle
             on
             the
             right
             horse
             :
             now
             my
             pitty
             on
             thee
             thou
             poore
             
             patch-pannell
             ,
             yet
             for
             all
             thy
             pitcherie
             &
             patcherie
             thou
             never
             thinkest
             of
             mending
             the
             patch
             thou
             shouldest
             most
             mind
             ,
             thou
             thinkest
             to
             curbe
             me
             ,
             and
             snaffle
             me
             ,
             to
             bridle
             me
             ,
             and
             to
             feede
             mee
             with
             a
             bit
             and
             a
             knocke
             ,
             but
             I
             wonder
             when
             I
             shall
             find
             a
             good
             stirre-up
             come
             from
             thee
             :
             all
             thy
             care
             is
             to
             see
             other
             folkes
             jades
             made
             fine
             ,
             neat
             ,
             and
             handsome
             ,
             whilst
             thine
             owne
             beast
             at
             home
             can
             neither
             bee
             comb'd
             ,
             rub'd
             ,
             nor
             curried
             ,
             so
             that
             for
             want
             of
             good
             dressing
             shee
             is
             readie
             to
             fall
             into
             the
             disease
             
             of
             the
             scratch
             ,
             which
             makes
             me
             ready
             to
             scorne
             thee
             with
             my
             heeles
             ;
             for
             thou
             art
             never
             like
             to
             come
             so
             neer
             as
             my
             heart
             :
             It
             is
             an
             old
             proverbe
             and
             a
             true
             ,
             who
             goes
             worse
             shod
             than
             the
             Shoomakers
             wife
             ;
             and
             I
             may
             say
             by
             experience
             ,
             who
             useth
             the
             saddle
             lesse
             than
             hee
             that
             owes
             it
             ;
             but
             I
             could
             serve
             thee
             in
             thy
             kind
             ,
             and
             shew
             thee
             a
             trick
             for
             thy
             learning
             ,
             for
             where
             thou
             keepest
             thy
             owne
             saddle-tree
             bare
             ,
             I
             know
             how
             ,
             and
             where
             to
             have
             it
             covered
             with
             plush
             and
             velvet
             ,
             and
             yet
             thou
             neither
             
             the
             wealthier
             nor
             the
             wiser
             ;
             this
             I
             can
             doe
             ,
             and
             this
             I
             will
             doe
             ,
             if
             thou
             shortly
             dost
             not
             mend
             thy
             manners
             :
             but
             thou
             usest
             to
             serve
             me
             ,
             as
             thou
             dost
             thy
             best
             customers
             ,
             when
             thou
             shouldst
             stuffe
             their
             faddles
             with
             good
             Merchātable
             haire
             ,
             thou
             bobst
             them
             off
             with
             the
             coursest
             hey
             bought
             in
             Smithfield
             for
             nine-pence
             a
             trusse
             ,
             but
             that
             's
             a
             thing
             that
             I
             doe
             not
             stand
             so
             much
             upon
             neither
             ;
             what
             care
             I
             how
             thou
             cheatest
             abroad
             ,
             so
             thou
             wouldst
             be
             carefull
             to
             give
             the
             divell
             his
             due
             at
             home
             ;
             nay
             bootlesse
             it
             
             is
             to
             chafe
             ,
             or
             vexe
             ,
             or
             fret
             ,
             or
             fume
             ,
             't
             is
             all
             to
             no
             purpose
             ;
             nor
             trouble
             mee
             in
             my
             tale
             ,
             till
             my
             lecture
             be
             read
             at
             large
             ,
             for
             my
             tongue
             shall
             walke
             till
             my
             breath
             faile
             ,
             and
             after
             some
             little
             pause
             I
             shall
             be
             ready
             to
             begin
             again
             ;
             nor
             doe
             I
             purpose
             to
             give
             over
             till
             mine
             houre
             be
             full
             out
             ;
             nay
             never
             offer
             to
             stop
             thine
             eares
             ,
             but
             if
             thou
             wilt
             needs
             bee
             stopping
             ,
             stop
             where
             thou
             shouldest
             stop
             ,
             for
             thou
             shalt
             never
             stop
             my
             mouth
             whil'st
             thine
             eyes
             are
             open
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             an
             Horse-coursers
             wife
             to
             her
             Husband
             .
          
           
             IT
             is
             a
             Custome
             amongst
             all
             men
             and
             their
             wives
             ,
             though
             they
             never
             agree
             so
             well
             ,
             yet
             at
             some
             time
             or
             other
             their
             slow
             fires
             will
             grow
             into
             combustion
             ,
             and
             as
             the
             fuel
             is
             added
             of
             either
             side
             so
             to
             grow
             to
             a
             great
             incendiary
             ;
             and
             so
             it
             happened
             betwixt
             this
             couple
             :
             An
             old
             Horse-courser
             (
             betwixt
             whom
             and
             a
             knave
             ,
             there
             is
             as
             
             little
             difference
             ,
             as
             betwixt
             him
             that
             I
             named
             last
             and
             a
             Broker
             )
             married
             a
             young
             wife
             ,
             (
             a
             pretty
             modest
             slut
             she
             was
             )
             and
             had
             spleene
             in
             her
             ,
             (
             as
             ill
             women
             have
             )
             but
             never
             shewed
             it
             ,
             and
             like
             a
             flint
             had
             concealed
             fire
             ,
             but
             till
             hee
             with
             his
             steele
             strook
             too
             hard
             upon
             it
             ,
             there
             never
             appeared
             any
             sparkle
             ;
             but
             when
             the
             Tinder
             once
             takes
             ,
             you
             may
             light
             a
             Candle
             for
             any
             merchants
             Lanthorne
             ,
             to
             shew
             al
             the
             street
             over
             :
             and
             so
             it
             fared
             with
             these
             ,
             for
             he
             having
             tempted
             her
             beyond
             all
             patience
             ,
             her
             breast
             swelling
             
             till
             shee
             had
             almost
             burst
             her
             lace
             ,
             she
             fell
             into
             these
             Tearmes
             .
             An
             Horse-courser
             ,
             an
             hang-dogge
             ,
             for
             Hangman
             is
             too
             good
             a
             name
             for
             thee
             ,
             who
             wouldest
             ride
             more
             Gills
             than
             thou
             dost
             Jades
             :
             (
             for
             an
             honest
             wife
             is
             too
             good
             for
             thee
             ,
             or
             any
             of
             thy
             generation
             )
             thou
             for
             thy
             cheating
             in
             horses
             better
             deservest
             to
             bee
             burnt
             in
             Smithfield
             than
             any
             women
             for
             poysoning
             her
             Husband
             :
             but
             the
             Devill
             shall
             poyson
             thee
             before
             I
             wil
             :
             for
             none
             of
             all
             your
             spurre-galling
             Rascalls
             shall
             make
             an
             
             holy
             day
             for
             mee
             :
             But
             I
             perceive
             such
             saddle-nos'd
             ,
             and
             saddle-backt
             Rascals
             ,
             set
             them
             but
             (
             like
             a
             begger
             )
             and
             they
             care
             not
             how
             they
             ride
             to
             the
             Devill
             .
             Thou
             goest
             from
             Hostry
             to
             Hostry
             ,
             but
             it
             will
             be
             long
             enough
             before
             thou
             wilt
             set
             up
             thy
             Nagge
             in
             my
             Stable
             ,
             thou
             wall-ey'd
             wickednesse
             :
             A
             Rogue
             of
             thy
             yeares
             and
             hast
             not
             sow'd
             all
             thy
             wild
             Oates
             yet
             ?
             before
             I
             will
             lead
             this
             life
             with
             thee
             longer
             I
             wil
             eate
             hey
             with
             an
             horse
             ,
             you
             base
             blinkin-soppe
             :
             nay
             more
             ,
             if
             every
             man
             had
             his
             right
             ,
             
             and
             the
             Devill
             his
             due
             ,
             thou
             art
             worthy
             to
             bee
             hanged
             in
             the
             very
             halter
             that
             thou
             leadest
             thine
             horse
             in
             .
          
           
             Gladly
             he
             would
             have
             interrupted
             her
             ,
             and
             beganne
             to
             say
             something
             to
             small
             purpose
             :
             but
             the
             Jacke
             was
             woond
             up
             ,
             and
             downe
             it
             must
             ,
             and
             therefore
             not
             to
             be
             meddled
             with
             till
             it
             was
             ready
             to
             be
             woond
             up
             againe
             :
             For
             she
             had
             vowed
             to
             Doe
             out
             her
             Doe
             ;
             and
             that
             she
             would
             see
             done
             ,
             and
             therfore
             pursu'd
             her
             discourse
             in
             this
             manner
             .
          
           
             Doe
             you
             beginne
             to
             
             kicke
             like
             your
             gald
             horse
             already
             ?
             Nay
             ,
             I
             thought
             I
             should
             set
             you
             beside
             your
             stirrops
             .
             Thou
             hast
             more
             mystery
             in
             thee
             than
             a
             Mountebanke
             ,
             and
             more
             tricks
             than
             a
             Jugler
             ,
             and
             passest
             more
             lame
             &
             poore
             commodities
             ,
             broken
             winded
             Iades
             ,
             than
             either
             of
             them
             with
             their
             hy-passe
             and
             re-passe
             .
             Hast
             thou
             not
             brought
             an
             old
             mare
             into
             the
             Market
             ,
             (
             on
             my
             knowledge
             )
             above
             fifteen
             ,
             and
             laid
             thy
             hand
             upon
             her
             head
             ,
             and
             sworne
             to
             thy
             Chapman
             she
             hath
             beene
             under
             five
             ?
             (
             equivocating
             ,
             and
             meaning
             
             your
             five
             fingers
             )
             and
             what
             was
             this
             better
             than
             cheating
             ?
             nay
             ,
             when
             thou
             hast
             sworne
             a
             nagge
             to
             be
             sound
             of
             winde
             and
             limbe
             ,
             (
             and
             yet
             I
             never
             knew
             thee
             to
             be
             so
             of
             either
             )
             when
             thy
             Customer
             hath
             tooke
             him
             out
             to
             ride
             him
             for
             a
             triall
             ,
             and
             found
             him
             to
             halt
             downe
             right
             ,
             hast
             thou
             out-fac't
             him
             ,
             that
             he
             had
             no
             other
             fault
             ,
             but
             that
             hee
             tooke
             him
             when
             his
             feet
             were
             asleepe
             :
             and
             what
             was
             this
             better
             than
             Conicatching
             ?
             Thou
             art
             a
             very
             cruell
             hearted
             fellow
             ,
             to
             beate
             and
             belabour
             thy
             
             horses
             every
             houre
             in
             the
             day
             with
             a
             broome-staffe
             about
             their
             sides
             ,
             to
             make
             your
             Customers
             beleeve
             they
             are
             full
             of
             mettle
             ,
             when
             it
             is
             for
             feare
             of
             thy
             Cudgell
             they
             stirre
             &
             move
             about
             :
             thou
             hast
             such
             base
             tricks
             in
             thee
             ,
             that
             my
             conscience
             will
             not
             suffer
             thee
             any
             longer
             to
             reigne
             in
             thy
             roguery
             :
             Nay
             more
             ,
             thou
             keepest
             thy
             hackny
             Whoors
             :
             They
             stand
             at
             the
             bottle
             ,
             (
             of
             Sacke
             and
             Clarret
             )
             but
             I
             am
             tide
             up
             to
             racke
             and
             Manger
             ,
             and
             none
             but
             a
             Mangy
             fellow
             would
             offer
             to
             use
             his
             
             wife
             so
             :
             Nay
             ,
             I
             have
             put
             Breeze
             under
             your
             Taile
             ,
             I
             think
             I
             have
             netled
             you
             ,
             my
             tongue
             hath
             but
             ambled
             all
             this
             while
             ,
             or
             at
             least
             gone
             an
             easie
             Trot
             ;
             but
             spurre
             me
             on
             a
             little
             further
             ,
             and
             put
             it
             into
             a
             false
             Gallop
             ,
             and
             then
             come
             upon
             mee
             the
             best
             of
             you
             all
             ,
             Cut
             or
             Long
             Taile
             :
             Thou
             shalt
             not
             sinde
             that
             my
             Tongue
             will
             tire
             within
             a
             Mile
             of
             the
             Towne
             ,
             nor
             my selfe
             neither
             if
             I
             were
             well
             try'd
             .
             But
             for
             mine
             owne
             part
             (
             as
             thy
             Conscience
             can
             witnesse
             )
             I
             am
             neither
             well
             
             litter'd
             ,
             nor
             well
             provender'd
             ,
             nor
             well
             breath'd
             ,
             nor
             well
             rubb'd
             ,
             nor
             well
             curried
             ,
             nor
             indeed
             well
             any
             thing'd
             .
             Thou
             keepe
             thy
             market
             without
             the
             railes
             ?
             thou
             ride
             thy
             horses
             in
             Cuckolds
             pound
             ?
             have
             I
             wrung
             you
             in
             the
             withers
             ?
             have
             I
             rub'd
             you
             on
             the
             gald
             backe
             ?
             have
             I
             in
             the
             stead
             of
             an
             handkerchiefe
             ,
             given
             you
             a
             drench
             for
             your
             glanders
             ?
             Now
             fye
             upon
             thee
             for
             a
             ranke
             Rider
             ,
             thou
             shalt
             finde
             in
             mee
             from
             henceforth
             there
             shall
             be
             more
             in
             't
             than
             to
             get
             up
             and
             ride
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             Taylers
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             MOst
             sure
             my
             father
             was
             frantick
             ,
             and
             my
             mother
             mad
             ,
             and
             both
             of
             them
             out
             of
             their
             wits
             ,
             to
             match
             me
             to
             such
             a
             Mopus
             :
             I
             was
             in
             hope
             they
             had
             married
             me
             to
             a
             man
             ,
             but
             they
             have
             thrust
             mee
             on
             a
             Tayler
             ,
             of
             which
             three
             of
             the
             best
             ,
             can
             scarce
             make
             a
             good
             on
             :
             he
             talks
             of
             nothing
             but
             his
             yard
             ,
             and
             his
             yard
             ,
             and
             
             is
             not
             able
             to
             affoord
             his
             wife
             London
             measure
             ;
             whilst
             thou
             sittest
             crosse-legg'd
             upon
             thy
             boord
             ,
             like
             a
             Hare
             on
             a
             poulterers
             stall
             ,
             I
             am
             faine
             to
             lye
             crossing
             mine
             armes
             in
             my
             bed
             ,
             I
             wish
             thou
             wouldst
             eate
             lesse
             bread
             ,
             and
             take
             more
             drinke
             ,
             and
             then
             there
             were
             some
             hope
             that
             in
             time
             thou
             wouldst
             learne
             to
             winde
             up
             thy
             bottome
             :
             when
             he
             thinks
             to
             doe
             his
             best
             ,
             it
             is
             but
             so
             so
             ,
             and
             he
             cannot
             goe
             thorow
             stitch
             with
             any
             thing
             ;
             I
             thought
             I
             should
             not
             have
             met
             with
             so
             simple
             a
             seaming
             mate
             ,
             or
             so
             purblind
             
             a
             Coxecombe
             that
             cannot
             see
             in
             the
             darke
             to
             find
             the
             eye
             of
             his
             owne
             needle
             which
             any
             other
             could
             doe
             blind
             foulded
             :
             if
             any
             one
             see
             thy
             backe
             they
             may
             know
             by
             thy
             feet
             and
             thy
             legs
             that
             thou
             art
             a
             Taylor
             ,
             a
             Hare
             and
             a
             Taylor
             doth
             much
             agree
             ,
             thou
             sittest
             on
             thy
             shop-boord
             crosse-legged
             ,
             so
             doth
             a
             Hare
             lie
             crosse-legged
             on
             a
             poulterers
             stall
             ;
             doe
             you
             remember
             that
             a
             Nobleman
             gave
             you
             a
             cast
             suite
             ,
             and
             you
             like
             a
             proud
             rascall
             went
             and
             put
             it
             on
             ,
             and
             marched
             to
             the
             Court
             to
             see
             the
             mask
             ,
             
             and
             forgetting
             your selfe
             ,
             put
             your
             hand
             in
             your
             pocket
             to
             pull
             out
             your
             handkerchiefe
             to
             wipe
             your
             face
             ,
             and
             then
             came
             out
             with
             it
             your
             thimble
             ,
             your
             button-moulds
             ,
             and
             your
             bodkin
             ;
             was
             not
             this
             a
             bold
             tricke
             of
             thee
             thou
             lousie
             nitty
             Tayler
             :
             the
             proverbe
             is
             very
             true
             of
             you
             ,
             Tayler
             like
             ,
             poore
             ,
             proud
             ,
             and
             beggerly
             ,
             not
             worth
             my
             Grandames
             groat
             :
             you
             goe
             like
             Gentlemen
             into
             Knights
             hou-houses
             ,
             which
             are
             your
             customers
             ,
             and
             then
             you
             returne
             like
             watchmen
             ,
             with
             your
             bills
             in
             your
             hands
             ;
             
             There
             is
             many
             a
             Sadler
             and
             Body-maker
             beholding
             to
             you
             ,
             for
             you
             furnish
             them
             with
             the
             finest
             cloath
             and
             taffata
             to
             make
             their
             saddles
             and
             their
             bodies
             with
             ,
             which
             you
             steal
             out
             of
             a
             customers
             garment
             ,
             and
             when
             you
             are
             asked
             if
             any
             cloath
             or
             stuffe
             be
             left
             ,
             then
             you
             will
             sweare
             ,
             and
             lye
             ,
             and
             protest
             you
             could
             hardly
             make
             it
             serve
             ,
             and
             that
             you
             had
             not
             an
             inch
             left
             in
             the
             world
             ,
             no
             not
             so
             much
             as
             to
             lap
             about
             your
             finger
             ;
             then
             they
             beleeve
             you
             ,
             when
             you
             have
             it
             in
             your
             hell
             ,
             or
             in
             your
             cutting
             
             house
             which
             devoures
             more
             such
             remnants
             then
             ever
             Wood
             the
             great
             eater
             of
             Kent
             did
             pennie
             loaves
             all
             his
             life
             time
             :
             and
             how
             many
             yards
             of
             silver
             lace
             have
             you
             nimed
             and
             kept
             backe
             by
             your
             stretching
             and
             pulling
             of
             it
             ,
             to
             the
             spoyling
             of
             many
             a
             good
             garment
             ;
             nor
             doe
             you
             allow
             me
             any
             thing
             to
             weare
             but
             what
             you
             filtch
             and
             steale
             off
             other
             folkes
             garments
             ;
             the
             other
             day
             I
             did
             but
             desire
             to
             have
             a
             new
             lace
             to
             put
             upon
             an
             old
             peticoat
             which
             hath
             beene
             twice
             in
             Trig-lane
             ,
             and
             thou
             would
             not
             buy
             
             it
             me
             ,
             nor
             should
             I
             have
             any
             thing
             unlesse
             I
             would
             accept
             of
             that
             small
             remnant
             ,
             as
             you
             cald
             it
             of
             sixe
             or
             eight
             yards
             of
             lace
             ,
             which
             you
             cozened
             our
             Sextons
             wife
             the
             other
             of
             :
             you
             pay
             the
             rent
             of
             the
             house
             by
             this
             unlawfull
             meanes
             ,
             and
             unlesse
             you
             let
             me
             have
             a
             new
             gowne
             ,
             my
             conscience
             will
             not
             suffer
             me
             to
             conceale
             this
             your
             knaverie
             ,
             but
             I
             will
             reveale
             it
             ,
             and
             have
             it
             put
             in
             print
             to
             the
             view
             of
             all
             men
             :
             you
             have
             now
             a
             suite
             on
             your
             backe
             ,
             the
             other
             now
             is
             at
             pawne
             ,
             and
             lies
             in
             lavender
             ,
             and
             though
             
             some
             thinke
             it
             to
             be
             all
             alike
             behind
             as
             it
             is
             before
             ,
             but
             it
             is
             not
             so
             ,
             for
             there
             is
             nothing
             but
             Canvas
             behinde
             ,
             and
             onely
             butter'd
             before
             to
             make
             your
             neighbours
             beleeve
             you
             are
             a
             brave
             fellow
             .
          
           
             
               Hus.
               
            
             
               This
               it
               is
               for
               me
               to
               reveale
               the
               secrets
               of
               my
               trade
               to
               my
               wife
               .
            
          
           
             
               Wif.
               
            
             
               It
               is
               no
               great
               matter
               ,
               you
               are
               a
               haire-braind
               fellow
               ,
               and
               a
               jealous
               coxecombe
               :
               I
               must
               not
               forsooth
               speake
               to
               a
               Customer
               ,
               or
               to
               one
               of
               my
               Lodgers
               ,
               but
               presently
               your
               blood
               is
               up
               ,
               and
               hold
               up
               the
               fist
               ,
               and
               looke
               on
               
               me
               ,
               as
               the
               Divell
               look't
               over
               Lincolne
               ,
               and
               use
               mee
               at
               your
               pleasure
               when
               they
               are
               gone
               ;
               but
               if
               you
               continue
               this
               course
               of
               rough
               dealing
               with
               me
               ,
               &
               will
               not
               let
               mee
               have
               my
               will
               ,
               I
               will
               make
               you
               asham'd
               of
               it
               :
               I
               will
               say
               nothing
               else
               ;
               you
               may
               imagine
               :
               for
               if
               men
               use
               their
               wives
               as
               they
               should
               doe
               ,
               it
               is
               the
               cause
               of
               preserving
               many
               a
               smooth
               brow
               ,
               which
               otherwise
               would
               prove
               rough
               and
               rugged
               ,
               by
               their
               unkinde
               dealing
               with
               them
               :
               and
               what
               you
               get
               of
               mee
               by
               your
               ill
               words
               and
               usage
               
               of
               me
               ,
               you
               shall
               put
               in
               you
               eye
               ,
               and
               see
               ne're
               the
               worse
               .
            
          
           
             Thou
             busiest
             thy self
             in
             gathering
             other
             mens
             rents
             ,
             and
             if
             I
             have
             but
             a
             stich
             in
             my
             side
             thou
             knowst
             not
             how
             to
             take
             it
             up
             :
             Thou
             a
             workeman
             ,
             thou
             a
             very
             botcher
             ;
             and
             such
             I
             shall
             ever
             hold
             thee
             to
             be
             :
             Besides
             ,
             an
             ungratfull
             fellow
             thou
             art
             ;
             for
             though
             thy
             Customers
             pay
             thee
             well
             ,
             yet
             thou
             wilt
             not
             sticke
             to
             sit
             on
             their
             skirts
             ;
             and
             wilt
             strive
             to
             have
             other
             mens
             hose
             well
             lin'd
             ,
             but
             canst
             affoord
             no
             stuffing
             to
             
             thine
             owne
             breeches
             :
             and
             when
             I
             looke
             but
             under
             thy
             Shop-boor'd
             ;
             mee
             thinkes
             it
             is
             a
             very
             hell
             to
             live
             with
             thee
             ,
             and
             Purgatory
             is
             a
             very
             Paradice
             unto
             it
             ;
             and
             yet
             with
             thy
             snippery
             and
             snappery
             thou
             thinkest
             to
             go
             shear
             away
             with
             all
             .
             Thou
             art
             every
             day
             basting
             and
             basting
             ,
             and
             yet
             canst
             affoord
             me
             no
             roast-meate
             all
             the
             weeke
             long
             :
             I
             am
             sure
             thou
             wilt
             not
             allow
             thy
             servants
             their
             bellies
             full
             ,
             but
             pinch
             them
             of
             their
             victualls
             ;
             and
             that
             is
             one
             thing
             that
             makes
             so
             many
             Taylers
             to
             bee
             Theeves
             :
             
             one
             Egge
             must
             serve
             two
             Prentises
             for
             their
             dinner
             ,
             and
             thou
             makest
             them
             eate
             it
             with
             the
             point
             of
             their
             needles
             ,
             because
             they
             should
             not
             eate
             too
             greedily
             to
             choake
             themselves
             .
             Thou
             hittest
             me
             in
             the
             teeth
             ,
             that
             thou
             wilt
             goe
             to
             sea
             and
             leave
             me
             :
             but
             I
             know
             thou
             hast
             not
             the
             heart
             ,
             good-man
             Hop-kennell
             :
             for
             I
             know
             (
             upon
             mine
             owne
             knowledge
             )
             that
             there
             are
             no
             shreds
             of
             Man-hood
             in
             thee
             :
             and
             as
             shee
             was
             thus
             taunting
             him
             ,
             a
             Customer
             came
             in
             by
             chance
             ,
             who
             interrupted
             her
             ,
             and
             
             the
             Clocke
             withal
             strook
             just
             eleven
             ;
             and
             so
             she
             ended
             her
             Lecture
             .
          
        
         
           
             A
             Poets
             Wife
             to
             her
             Husband
             .
          
           
             VVEll
             ,
             I
             will
             be
             short
             howsoever
             sweet
             ;
             &
             as
             thou
             tel'st
             other
             men
             of
             their
             faults
             ,
             so
             I
             will
             not
             sticke
             to
             tell
             thee
             of
             thine
             owne
             errors
             .
             Thou
             an
             Artist
             ?
             thou
             an
             Asse
             ;
             a
             very
             pen-goose
             of
             Pernassus
             ,
             and
             thinking
             thy selfe
             to
             be
             a
             minion
             ,
             art
             
             no
             better
             than
             a
             meere
             mockery
             to
             the
             Muses
             :
             For
             I
             prethee
             what
             hast
             thou
             got
             either
             by
             Helicon
             ,
             or
             Hipocrene
             ?
             scarce
             good
             Cloathes
             to
             thy
             backe
             ,
             whilst
             thou
             studiest
             to
             uncloake
             other
             mens
             knaveries
             ;
             labouring
             to
             make
             thy
             Lines
             goe
             in
             even
             feete
             ,
             and
             canst
             not
             maintaine
             thy
             Legges
             in
             good
             Bootes
             :
             and
             if
             your
             Loggerhead
             shall
             get
             a
             Lawrell
             ,
             what
             then
             ?
             can
             your
             Muse
             feede
             you
             with
             Mutton
             ?
             or
             can
             you
             buy
             your selfe
             Beefe
             with
             the
             leaves
             of
             a
             Bay-Tree
             ?
             
             can
             your
             Rime
             make
             you
             feede
             on
             Rabbets
             ?
             your
             Canzonets
             on
             Capons
             ?
             or
             your
             Poetry
             on
             Partridge
             ?
             I
             must
             confesse
             on
             Wood-cockes
             they
             may
             ,
             if
             you
             could
             finde
             a
             spring
             to
             catch
             them
             .
             You
             get
             nothing
             now
             a
             dayes
             but
             by
             flattery
             and
             dissembling
             ,
             onely
             Wine
             and
             Tobacco
             ,
             by
             keeping
             some
             young
             Novice
             company
             in
             humouring
             him
             ,
             by
             telling
             some
             strange
             stories
             ,
             and
             idle
             fables
             ,
             and
             then
             at
             night
             come
             home
             drunke
             that
             you
             are
             not
             able
             to
             stand
             ,
             with
             
             such
             a
             red
             face
             ,
             that
             if
             your
             eyes
             were
             Matches
             ,
             they
             would
             set
             your
             nose
             on
             fire
             :
             thou
             a
             Poet
             ?
             thou
             a
             Pot-head
             :
             your
             invention
             is
             never
             ripe
             ,
             but
             when
             you
             have
             beene
             a
             potting
             and
             a
             piping
             ,
             and
             then
             you
             have
             but
             a
             flash
             ;
             for
             you
             have
             not
             a
             braine
             to
             keepe
             your
             conceite
             ;
             it
             is
             dead
             as
             soone
             as
             it
             is
             thought
             upon
             :
             thy
             Poetry
             hath
             made
             mee
             almost
             mad
             .
             I
             pray
             you
             what
             hath
             your
             pen
             purchast
             ?
             or
             your
             Goose-quill
             got
             you
             ?
             or
             to
             what
             preferment
             hath
             it
             raised
             you
             ?
             unlesse
             to
             be
             
             the
             Printers
             Packe-horse
             ,
             the
             Stationers
             Iourny-man
             ,
             and
             the
             Players
             Drudge
             :
             I
             the
             Players
             ,
             who
             have
             the
             wit
             to
             keepe
             you
             poore
             ,
             that
             they
             themselves
             may
             pranke
             it
             in
             Plush
             :
             For
             who
             in
             these
             dayes
             can
             know
             a
             Poets
             wife
             from
             a
             Pedlers
             ,
             or
             such
             Iacks
             from
             Gentlemen
             ?
             who
             like
             Hogges
             feede
             upon
             Akhornes
             ,
             and
             never
             cast
             up
             their
             eies
             to
             looke
             towards
             the
             Boughes
             from
             whence
             they
             fall
             .
             I
             have
             found
             it
             by
             observation
             ,
             and
             so
             have
             others
             ,
             that
             the
             first
             stoppe
             to
             beggerie
             ,
             
             is
             to
             write
             to
             the
             Stage
             .
             I
             speake
             not
             of
             all
             ,
             but
             of
             you
             poore
             Poets
             ,
             who
             have
             made
             them
             your
             Idols
             ,
             who
             ought
             rather
             to
             have
             falne
             downe
             and
             worship't
             you
             ,
             who
             have
             put
             Oracles
             into
             their
             mouthes
             ,
             who
             would
             eate
             the
             bread
             out
             of
             yours
             .
             Nay
             ,
             do
             not
             vexe
             to
             bee
             Catechised
             in
             that
             ,
             of
             which
             I
             have
             heard
             thee
             so
             oft
             (
             and
             not
             without
             just
             cause
             )
             complaine
             :
             Further
             shee
             was
             proceeding
             ,
             when
             one
             of
             her
             Neighbours
             called
             
             upon
             her
             to
             goe
             along
             with
             her
             to
             the
             Christning
             of
             a
             Neighbours
             Child
             ;
             so
             that
             shee
             was
             for
             that
             time
             forced
             to
             breake
             off
             on
             the
             suddaine
             :
             At
             which
             her
             Husband
             was
             glad
             to
             bee
             ridde
             of
             her
             clamour
             ;
             and
             I
             not
             forry
             ,
             for
             in
             her
             ending
             so
             suddainely
             ,
             shee
             hath
             saved
             mee
             some
             labour
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Farriers
             Wife
             to
             her
             Husband
             ,
             and
             a
             Glasiers
             Wife
             ,
             comming
             to
             mediate
             the
             matter
             betwixt
             them
             .
          
           
             A
             Farrier
             having
             angred
             his
             wife
             in
             crossing
             her
             untoward
             humour
             ,
             she
             fell
             foule
             upon
             him
             by
             no
             allowance
             ,
             and
             beganne
             with
             him
             as
             followeth
             .
          
           
             Thou
             an
             Horseleich
             ?
             thou
             an
             Hobby-horse
             ,
             
             and
             hast
             more
             diseases
             upon
             thee
             than
             any
             Iade
             that
             comes
             to
             be
             drencht
             at
             thy
             Forge
             :
             for
             thou
             hast
             the
             Webbe
             in
             thy
             eyes
             ,
             the
             Glanders
             in
             thy
             nose
             ,
             the
             Staggers
             in
             thy
             head
             ,
             and
             the
             Botts
             in
             thy
             belly
             :
             thou
             art
             troubled
             moreover
             with
             the
             rotten
             Couch
             in
             thy
             Longs
             ,
             the
             Spring-halt
             in
             thy
             hippes
             ,
             the
             Spary
             in
             thy
             legges
             ,
             the
             Scratches
             in
             thy
             heels
             ,
             and
             indeede
             art
             nothing
             but
             rottennesse
             ,
             and
             diseases
             all
             over
             ;
             and
             what
             comfort
             hath
             a
             likely
             woman
             ,
             as
             I
             am
             ,
             to
             lye
             with
             one
             all
             the
             night
             grunting
             
             like
             an
             Hogge
             ,
             groaning
             like
             an
             Horse
             ,
             coughing
             like
             a
             sheepe
             ,
             and
             spitting
             and
             spawling
             like
             one
             that
             is
             sweated
             on
             the
             Poxe
             (
             God
             blesse
             us
             :
             )
             then
             thou
             criest
             out
             ,
             O
             the
             Gout
             in
             my
             Toes
             ,
             O
             the
             Sciatica
             in
             my
             Thighes
             ;
             insomuch
             ,
             that
             Bedlam
             is
             a
             better
             place
             to
             sleepe
             in
             ,
             than
             our
             Bed
             :
             she
             was
             now
             but
             in
             her
             Prologue
             ,
             when
             in
             comes
             their
             next
             neighbour
             ,
             being
             a
             Glasiers
             wife
             ,
             who
             had
             over-heard
             all
             that
             had
             past
             ,
             and
             perswaded
             her
             to
             be
             patient
             ,
             saying
             .
             Nay
             good
             Neighbour
             ,
             I
             am
             very
             
             sorry
             to
             see
             you
             in
             this
             passion
             ,
             I
             see
             something
             hath
             disquieted
             you
             ,
             I
             pray
             you
             forbeare
             and
             be
             a
             little
             moderate
             in
             your
             language
             to
             your
             Husband
             ,
             it
             doth
             not
             become
             a
             women
             to
             be
             thus
             brawling
             in
             the
             open
             streete
             ,
             and
             disgracing
             of
             her
             Husband
             ,
             it
             will
             be
             a
             meanes
             for
             him
             never
             to
             have
             a
             care
             of
             you
             ,
             but
             rather
             to
             neglect
             his
             calling
             :
             you
             had
             better
             perswade
             him
             by
             faire
             meanes
             ;
             and
             not
             thus
             by
             foule
             ;
             for
             men
             are
             men
             ,
             and
             they
             will
             not
             be
             contrould
             ,
             and
             especially
             in
             the
             open
             shop
             ,
             where
             
             all
             passengers
             to
             see
             you
             ,
             and
             take
             notice
             of
             it
             :
             tell
             him
             of
             his
             faults
             betweene
             your selves
             when
             you
             are
             abed
             together
             ,
             then
             hee
             will
             give
             you
             the
             better
             hearing
             ,
             and
             feeling
             in
             the
             cause
             ,
             which
             this
             way
             will
             ne're
             doe
             ,
             but
             make
             him
             more
             in
             a
             rage
             ,
             and
             e'ne
             carelesse
             of
             his
             businesse
             ;
             and
             shee
             said
             ,
             that
             her
             husband
             was
             an
             honest
             quiet
             man
             ,
             and
             well
             thought
             of
             by
             all
             his
             neighbours
             ,
             and
             shee
             did
             not
             well
             to
             use
             him
             in
             such
             unreverend
             tearmes
             :
             and
             was
             proceeding
             further
             ,
             where
             the
             Farriers
             
             wife
             quickly
             &
             sharply
             cut
             her
             off
             ,
             after
             this
             manner
             ,
             unreverently
             .
          
           
             
               Far.
               Wife
               .
            
             
               Marry
               Syrreverence
               ,
               goodly
               Gossip
               :
               I
               pray
               you
               Mistris
               
                 Gill
                 Flurts
              
               how
               came
               you
               by
               that
               goodly
               word
               ?
               with
               my
               finger
               in
               your
               mouth
               ,
               and
               a
               toy
               at
               the
               end
               of
               it
               :
               Doe
               you
               come
               from
               an
               Ale-house
               bench
               ,
               from
               amongst
               the
               rest
               of
               your
               talking
               Gossips
               to
               tell
               me
               what
               I
               have
               to
               doe
               ;
               get
               you
               home
               ,
               and
               counsaile
               your
               owne
               husband
               ,
               and
               meddle
               not
               with
               mine
               :
               you
               have
               beene
               too
               late
               in
               his
               company
               ,
               have
               you
               
               not
               ?
               that
               is
               it
               which
               makes
               you
               take
               his
               part
               :
               goe
               ,
               you
               are
               a
               sawcy
               Gossip
               ,
               and
               a
               Gill-flurt
               ,
               I
               know
               what
               I
               have
               to
               doe
               with
               mine
               owne
               Husband
               ,
               I
               will
               not
               now
               come
               to
               learne
               of
               you
               :
               I
               hope
               the
               carriage
               of
               my selfe
               is
               well
               knowne
               both
               in
               the
               City
               and
               in
               the
               Parish
               ,
               how
               I
               have
               behaved
               my selfe
               :
               goe
               out
               of
               my
               doores
               ,
               you
               are
               a
               base
               prating
               Gossip
               .
            
          
           
             
               Glas.
               Wife
               .
            
             
               Gossip
               in
               your
               face
               ;
               I
               am
               none
               of
               your
               Gossip
               ,
               though
               I
               am
               one
               of
               your
               neighbours
               ;
               yet
               I
               doe
               scorne
               
               to
               be
               counted
               your
               companion
               :
               an
               honest
               woman
               should
               shew
               her selfe
               to
               be
               so
               ,
               and
               not
               to
               revile
               their
               Husbands
               in
               such
               vile
               speeches
               ,
               enough
               to
               make
               a
               man
               run
               quite
               mad
               .
            
             
               
                 A
                 womans
                 rule
                 should
                 be
                 in
                 such
                 a
                 fashion
                 ,
              
               
                 Onely
                 to
                 guide
                 her
                 household
                 ,
                 and
                 her
                 passion
                 .
              
               
                 And
                 her
                 obedience
                 never
                 out
                 of
                 season
                 ,
              
               
                 So
                 long
                 as
                 either
                 Husband
                 lasts
                 ,
                 or
                 reason
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 Ill
                 fares
                 the
                 haplesse
                 family
                 that
                 showes
              
               
               
                 A
                 Cocke
                 that
                 's
                 silent
                 ,
                 and
                 a
                 Hen
                 that
                 crowes
                 .
              
               
                 I
                 know
                 not
                 which
                 live
                 more
                 unnaturall
                 lives
                 ,
              
               
                 Obedient
                 Husbands
                 ,
                 or
                 commanding
                 Wives
                 .
              
            
          
           
             
               Far.
               Wif.
               
            
             
               How
               now
               ,
               doe
               you
               come
               with
               your
               Ballad
               Rime
               to
               tell
               mee
               what
               I
               have
               to
               doe
               ,
               and
               how
               to
               behave
               my selfe
               to
               my
               husband
               ,
               and
               in
               my
               owne
               house
               ?
               get
               you
               home
               &
               wash
               your
               dishes
               ,
               and
               meddle
               with
               your
               owne
               Husband
               :
               I
               would
               scorne
               to
               have
               done
               as
               you
               did
               ,
               when
               you
               went
               to
               have
               your
               other
               Husband
               
               buried
               ,
               you
               went
               with
               an
               Onion
               in
               your
               Handkerchiefe
               ,
               to
               make
               your
               eyes
               look
               redde
               ,
               and
               to
               cause
               you
               to
               weepe
               ,
               as
               if
               you
               had
               been
               very
               sorry
               for
               his
               losse
               ;
               when
               indeed
               you
               did
               but
               counterfeit
               ,
               and
               make
               the
               world
               beleeve
               how
               you
               lov'd
               him
               ,
               because
               you
               would
               have
               another
               husband
               the
               sooner
               ,
               and
               when
               you
               had
               seen
               him
               laid
               in
               his
               grave
               ,
               then
               when
               you
               came
               home
               ,
               you
               could
               have
               your
               Sacke
               and
               Sugar
               ,
               with
               other
               good
               cheare
               ,
               faying
               ,
               come
               ,
               wee
               women
               must
               live
               by
               the
               
               quicke
               ,
               and
               not
               by
               the
               dead
               .
            
          
           
             
               Glas.
               Wife
               .
            
             
               Come
               ,
               come
               ,
               you
               may
               be
               ashamed
               to
               doe
               as
               you
               doe
               ;
               I
               would
               scorne
               to
               make
               my
               Husband
               stand
               in
               awe
               of
               mee
               ,
               as
               a
               childe
               doth
               of
               a
               rod
               ,
               that
               if
               perchance
               hee
               bee
               three
               or
               foure
               houres
               abroad
               a
               drinking
               in
               company
               ,
               and
               come
               home
               a
               little
               disguised
               ,
               then
               you
               fall
               about
               his
               eares
               ,
               and
               raile
               at
               him
               ,
               that
               it
               is
               a
               shame
               you
               should
               be
               endured
               ;
               and
               if
               he
               were
               not
               a
               very
               patient
               man
               hee
               would
               not
               abide
               the
               life
               that
               he
               doth
               at
               your
               
               hands
               ,
               but
               swaddle
               your
               sides
               ;
               poore
               man
               he
               is
               glad
               to
               hide
               himselfe
               many
               times
               in
               the
               house
               of
               Office
               ,
               till
               your
               rage
               bee
               over
               ;
               and
               one
               time
               ,
               to
               ease
               his
               stomacke
               ,
               he
               was
               glad
               to
               put
               his
               head
               in
               the
               hole
               ,
               because
               you
               should
               not
               heare
               him
               ease
               his
               stomacke
               ,
               and
               then
               could
               not
               get
               his
               head
               out
               againe
               ,
               but
               brought
               the
               seat
               about
               his
               necke
               ,
               like
               a
               ruffe
               band
               .
               Come
               ,
               this
               is
               not
               the
               part
               of
               a
               good
               wife
               to
               discover
               her
               husbands
               follyes
               in
               such
               a
               publicke
               manner
               as
               you
               doe
               :
               it
               rather
               
               hardens
               their
               hearts
               ,
               and
               makes
               them
               a
               great
               deale
               the
               worse
               Husbands
               ,
               and
               causes
               them
               never
               to
               have
               a
               minde
               to
               returne
               home
               ,
               when
               once
               they
               are
               abroad
               ,
               or
               have
               staid
               a
               little
               too
               long
               :
               this
               makes
               them
               ill
               Husbands
               if
               any
               thing
               doth
               .
            
             
               Therfore
               whether
               it
               be
               better
               or
               worse
               ,
            
             
               You
               must
               be
               rul'd
               by
               him
               that
               beares
               the
               purse
               .
            
          
           
             
               Far.
               Wife
               .
            
             
               You
               are
               still
               up
               with
               your
               Rime
               ;
               get
               you
               home
               ,
               and
               teach
               your
               Grandam
               to
               sucke
               Egges
               ;
               I
               will
               not
               bee
               taught
               by
               
               you
               ,
               Gossip
               Pinte-pot
               :
               begone
               I
               say
               ,
               or
               I
               will
               wash
               your
               face
               ,
               now
               your
               tongue
               is
               so
               hot
               .
               Who
               taught
               you
               ,
               I
               wonder
               ,
               to
               meddle
               betwixt
               the
               barke
               and
               the
               tree
               ?
               the
               skinne
               and
               the
               flesh
               ,
               the
               man
               and
               the
               wife
               ?
               When
               the
               other
               replyed
               ,
               now
               Flirt
               in
               thy
               face
               ,
               and
               Gossip
               in
               thy
               guts
               :
               I
               hold
               my selfe
               as
               good
               a
               woman
               as
               thy selfe
               at
               all
               times
               ,
               and
               as
               honest
               as
               the
               skinne
               betwixt
               thy
               browes
               ,
               if
               not
               honester
               .
            
          
           
             Honester
             ,
             Madam
             Malipert
             (
             said
             the
             other
             )
             and
             whence
             Mistris
             Odious
             
             came
             you
             by
             these
             comparisons
             ?
             Hast
             thou
             took
             the
             Glasier
             ,
             thy
             Husbands
             trade
             out
             of
             his
             hand
             ,
             and
             art
             come
             hither
             to
             picke
             Quarrels
             ?
             shee
             replyed
             againe
             :
             now
             Odious
             in
             thy
             throate
             ,
             and
             there
             let
             it
             lie
             till
             I
             take
             it
             out
             againe
             .
             Thou
             calst
             me
             Madam
             Malipert
             ,
             but
             I
             am
             sure
             thou
             art
             
               Pru
               prate
               a
               pace
            
             ,
             and
             so
             thou
             wert
             ever
             since
             I
             first
             knew
             thee
             :
             and
             where
             thou
             twitst
             mee
             with
             my
             Husbands
             Trade
             :
             I
             cannot
             but
             with
             Paine
             speake
             it
             ,
             a
             Glasier
             is
             as
             good
             a
             man
             as
             a
             Farrier
             (
             no
             dispraise
             
             to
             thine
             husband
             )
             every
             moneth
             in
             the
             year
             ,
             every
             weeke
             in
             the
             month
             ,
             every
             day
             in
             the
             weeke
             ,
             and
             every
             houre
             in
             the
             day
             :
             and
             with
             that
             she
             beganne
             to
             bee
             out
             of
             breath
             ,
             which
             gave
             the
             Smithes
             wife
             liberty
             to
             say
             .
             Well
             I
             ever
             took
             thee
             to
             be
             a
             bold
             Bettris
             :
             and
             I
             thee
             for
             a
             sconlding
             Queane
             ,
             saith
             the
             other
             ,
             as
             well
             as
             she
             could
             bring
             it
             out
             :
             and
             so
             from
             words
             they
             fell
             to
             blowes
             ;
             insomuch
             ,
             that
             the
             honest
             Farrier
             was
             glad
             to
             step
             betwixt
             them
             ,
             thinking
             to
             part
             them
             :
             by
             which
             
             occasion
             his
             wife
             seeing
             shee
             could
             not
             come
             at
             the
             other
             to
             have
             her
             wil
             ,
             she
             falls
             about
             her
             Husbands
             eares
             ,
             and
             he
             againe
             at
             her
             ,
             and
             hard
             it
             was
             to
             judge
             betwixt
             them
             who
             was
             likely
             to
             have
             the
             better
             :
             In
             which
             Interim
             the
             Glasiers
             wife
             ranne
             to
             call
             the
             Constable
             ,
             and
             brought
             him
             ,
             desiring
             him
             ,
             least
             there
             should
             be
             man-slaughter
             ,
             or
             woman-slaughter
             committed
             ,
             to
             command
             them
             to
             keepe
             the
             Kings
             Peace
             ,
             and
             to
             part
             them
             :
             but
             he
             ,
             out
             of
             his
             great
             wisedome
             ,
             made
             answer
             :
             
             no
             not
             I
             by
             any
             meanes
             ,
             nor
             any
             one
             for
             mee
             :
             Cursed
             be
             he
             that
             parts
             man
             and
             wife
             :
             and
             therefore
             let
             them
             fight
             on
             and
             spare
             not
             :
             so
             that
             what
             the
             Constable
             would
             not
             doe
             wearinesse
             did
             :
             but
             how
             the
             businesse
             was
             after
             reconcield
             ,
             when
             I
             understand
             more
             ,
             you
             shall
             heare
             further
             .
          
           
             The
             poore
             Farrier
             lived
             this
             life
             seven
             yeares
             together
             ;
             and
             to
             please
             her
             oftentimes
             hee
             was
             forced
             to
             lose
             many
             a
             heate
             at
             the
             Anvill
             to
             to
             come
             at
             her
             call
             to
             kisse
             and
             humour
             her
             :
             
             and
             still
             being
             used
             to
             this
             kinde
             of
             language
             ,
             it
             bred
             in
             him
             that
             custome
             that
             he
             could
             well
             endure
             it
             :
             sometimes
             ,
             onely
             to
             ease
             himselfe
             ,
             &
             his
             minde
             ,
             complaining
             to
             some
             of
             his
             friends
             over
             a
             cup
             of
             Beere
             ,
             telling
             them
             ,
             how
             in
             stead
             of
             Lord
             and
             Master
             ,
             she
             called
             him
             Rogue
             and
             Rafcall
             ,
             and
             was
             ne're
             at
             quiet
             with
             her
             at
             bed
             or
             board
             ;
             only
             when
             she
             was
             abroad
             or
             asleepe
             :
             and
             for
             staying
             now
             a
             little
             longer
             than
             I
             promised
             her
             ,
             said
             he
             ,
             I
             dare
             warrant
             you
             ,
             my
             good
             neighbour
             ,
             
             when
             I
             come
             home
             I
             shall
             have
             a
             dish
             of
             maundring
             Broath
             ,
             thickned
             with
             a
             few
             small
             Reasons
             ,
             kept
             hot
             upon
             a
             chafingdish
             and
             coales
             ,
             so
             that
             when
             I
             come
             in
             ,
             I
             shall
             bee
             constrained
             to
             sup
             it
             up
             scoulding
             hot
             .
          
           
             Neighb
             .
             In
             good
             troth
             neighbour
             you
             have
             your
             hands
             full
             :
             and
             I
             will
             give
             you
             the
             best
             counsaile
             I
             can
             :
             you
             must
             have
             patience
             ,
             and
             endure
             it
             ;
             for
             if
             you
             should
             take
             any
             violent
             course
             against
             her
             ,
             she
             then
             would
             make
             your
             head
             full
             ,
             as
             you
             have
             now
             your
             hands
             full
             .
             For
             
             now
             ,
             as
             you
             confesse
             ,
             you
             being
             forewarned
             of
             her
             doings
             ,
             therefore
             ought
             to
             be
             fore
             armed
             .
          
        
         
           
             The
             Farriers
             Dyet
             which
             he
             used
             to
             expect
             from
             his
             Wife
             when
             he
             used
             to
             come
             home
             late
             .
          
           
             
               TWelve
               sorts
               of
               Cates
               my
               wife
               provides
               ,
            
             
               And
               bates
               me
               not
               a
               dish
               ,
            
             
               Foure
               Flesh
               ,
               foure
               Fruite
               ,
            
             
               The
               other
               foure
               of
               Fish.
               
            
          
           
             
               For
               the
               first
               course
               ,
               shee
               serves
               me
               in
               ,
            
             
               Foure
               birds
               that
               dainty
               are
               ;
            
             
             
               The
               first
               a
               Quale
               ,
               the
               next
               a
               Rale
               ,
            
             
               A
               Bitterne
               ,
               and
               a
               Iarre
               .
            
          
           
             
               My
               appetite
               being
               cloid
               with
               these
               ,
            
             
               With
               fish
               she
               makes
               it
               sharp
               ,
            
             
               She
               serves
               me
               next
               a
               Pout
               ,
               Ill-pies
               ,
            
             
               A
               Gudgeon
               ,
               and
               a
               Carpe
               .
            
          
           
             
               The
               third
               course
               with
               fruit
               she
               served
               in
               ,
            
             
               Welfitted
               for
               the
               season
               ,
            
             
               I
               am
               sure
               a
               Medler
               ,
               Hartichoake
               ,
            
             
               A
               Crab
               and
               a
               small
               reason
               .
            
          
           
             
               What
               Smith
               is
               he
               hath
               such
               a
               wife
               ,
            
             
             
               And
               on
               her
               doth
               not
               doate
               ,
            
             
               Hath
               every
               day
               delicious
               fare
               ,
            
             
               And
               costs
               him
               not
               a
               groat
               .
            
          
           
             Vpon
             my
             word
             and
             credit
             my
             good
             neighbour
             ,
             &
             an
             honest
             farrier
             as
             thou
             art
             ,
             I
             had
             rather
             bee
             at
             some
             three-peny
             Ordinary
             ,
             than
             at
             this
             feast
             of
             variety
             :
             and
             amongst
             all
             this
             choise
             of
             Cheere
             ,
             I
             doe
             marvaile
             you
             had
             no
             Souse
             ,
             nor
             Lambe
             ,
             nor
             Lout
             ,
             nor
             Goose
             ,
             nor
             Woodcocke
             ,
             bitter
             Almonds
             ,
             nor
             choake
             Peares
             .
             Therefore
             to
             say
             no
             more
             ;
             as
             a
             sicke
             man
             is
             
             cured
             of
             his
             disease
             in
             time
             by
             vertue
             of
             a
             medicine
             ,
             so
             a
             patient
             man
             is
             remedied
             of
             his
             tormentor
             in
             time
             by
             death
             of
             his
             wife
             .
          
        
         
           
             A
             Butchers
             Wife
             to
             her
             Husband
             .
          
           
             AN
             honest
             Butcher
             gently
             admonishing
             his
             Wife
             ,
             that
             shee
             neglected
             the
             looking
             to
             her
             Shop
             ,
             and
             every
             day
             went
             to
             a
             Lecture
             ,
             by
             which
             hee
             was
             much
             hindred
             ,
             and
             (
             for
             ought
             
             he
             could
             see
             )
             she
             little
             profited
             :
             the
             woman
             impatient
             to
             bee
             so
             taken
             up
             before
             she
             was
             downe
             ,
             made
             him
             answer
             as
             followeth
             :
             Lectures
             forsooth
             ;
             and
             I
             pray
             you
             doe
             my
             Lectures
             trouble
             you
             ?
             if
             they
             have
             not
             done
             yet
             ,
             they
             shall
             more
             hereafter
             :
             here
             's
             a
             coyle
             with
             a
             greasie
             companion
             indeede
             ,
             with
             whom
             any
             wise
             woman
             (
             but
             such
             a
             foole
             as
             I
             )
             would
             be
             loath
             to
             father
             fingers
             :
             here
             is
             a
             stirre
             with
             Lectures
             ?
             most
             sure
             I
             am
             ,
             I
             can
             be
             no
             sooner
             in
             the
             Church
             ,
             but
             you
             will
             be
             in
             the
             Devills
             
             Chappell
             .
             What
             neede
             I
             looke
             to
             thy
             slaughter-house
             ,
             when
             I
             goe
             everyday
             where
             I
             see
             finne
             knockt
             downe
             like
             an
             Oxe
             ,
             and
             the
             throat
             of
             iniquity
             cut
             like
             a
             Calfe
             ;
             whilst
             thou
             ,
             and
             thy
             Iourny-men
             stay
             at
             home
             ,
             and
             lie
             on
             thy
             shop-boord
             like
             so
             many
             stinking
             livers
             .
             You
             are
             a
             wicked
             Creature
             ,
             you
             cousen
             your
             Customers
             by
             your
             false
             weights
             ,
             and
             blow
             up
             your
             meate
             to
             make
             it
             looke
             faire
             ,
             and
             doe
             not
             kill
             it
             according
             to
             the
             Statute
             ;
             and
             for
             mee
             to
             be
             an
             eye-witnesse
             my
             
             conscience
             will
             not
             suffer
             mee
             :
             therefore
             leave
             questioning
             of
             mee
             where
             I
             have
             beene
             ;
             but
             thou
             wilt
             never
             leave
             prating
             till
             thy
             head
             be
             furnisht
             as
             well
             as
             thine
             Hydes
             ,
             there
             is
             a
             bone
             for
             you
             to
             picke
             :
             But
             it
             will
             bee
             long
             enough
             before
             thou
             wilt
             tickle
             my
             hyde
             ,
             I
             warrant
             thee
             :
             at
             which
             last
             words
             the
             Butcher
             being
             somewhat
             gored
             ,
             hee
             answered
             betwixt
             jest
             and
             earnest
             ,
             and
             said
             ;
             I
             know
             not
             wife
             what
             you
             meane
             by
             the
             harnising
             of
             my
             head
             ,
             but
             of
             one
             thing
             I
             am
             sure
             ,
             when
             I
             in
             the
             
             Spring
             ride
             abroad
             to
             buy
             ware
             ,
             you
             can
             furnish
             your selfe
             in
             Lent
             with
             pricks
             to
             serve
             you
             all
             the
             yeare
             after
             :
             at
             which
             she
             bit
             her
             lippe
             ,
             not
             her
             tongue
             ,
             for
             that
             she
             kept
             still
             in
             motion
             ,
             and
             replied
             :
             well
             ,
             goodmangander-goose
             ,
             some
             of
             my
             Gossips
             shall
             Catechise
             you
             for
             this
             ,
             and
             He
             make
             your
             best
             Joynts
             pay
             for
             't
             ;
             wee
             'le
             neither
             spare
             Necke
             ,
             Shoulder
             ,
             Breast
             ,
             Legge
             ,
             nor
             Loyne
             ;
             there
             are
             no
             stakes
             to
             bee
             sav'd
             by
             us
             ,
             take
             my
             word
             for
             that
             :
             nay
             you
             great
             Calfe
             ;
             
             your
             Sheepes
             eye
             shall
             vexe
             to
             see
             't
             ,
             and
             wee
             'le
             make
             you
             be
             glad
             to
             lick
             your
             lippes
             after
             our
             Lambs-wooll
             :
             wee
             'le
             teach
             you
             to
             be
             so
             hoggish
             to
             an
             Heiser
             of
             the
             first
             horne
             ,
             you
             Cowbooby
             ,
             to
             hit
             me
             in
             the
             teeth
             with
             making
             of
             Prickes
             ?
             hit
             me
             with
             them
             where
             I
             should
             be
             hit
             ,
             you
             foule
             Oxe
             :
             But
             I
             see
             they
             talke
             most
             of
             Robbin-Hood
             ,
             that
             seldomest
             shoote
             in
             his
             Bow
             :
             But
             for
             that
             trick
             alone
             (
             though
             it
             goe
             against
             my
             stomacke
             )
             I
             le
             marre
             that
             which
             
             comes
             next
             to
             my
             making
             ,
             and
             thou
             shalt
             have
             the
             mends
             in
             thine
             owne
             hand
             ,
             like
             a
             Grout-headed
             booby
             as
             thou
             art
             :
             and
             so
             shee
             slung
             away
             in
             a
             heate
             and
             left
             him
             :
             and
             hee
             all
             the
             while
             sought
             about
             for
             his
             Knife
             ,
             thinking
             to
             have
             done
             her
             a
             mischiefe
             ,
             but
             it
             was
             in
             his
             mouth
             ,
             and
             hee
             could
             not
             finde
             it
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             Shoo-makers
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             A
             Shooe-maker
             one
             of
             the
             Gentle
             Craft
             happpened
             to
             have
             a
             Shrew
             to
             his
             wife
             :
             but
             that
             is
             
               Hoc
               commune
               malum
            
             ,
             and
             who
             can
             helpe
             it
             :
             (
             saith
             Gammer
             Morris
             )
             and
             no
             man
             can
             tell
             where
             his
             shooe
             wrings
             him
             ,
             but
             hee
             that
             weares
             it
             :
             now
             this
             woman
             would
             wrangle
             and
             weep
             ,
             scould
             and
             crye
             ,
             and
             yet
             be
             as
             bitter
             as
             the
             best
             of
             
             them
             :
             for
             her
             humour
             was
             to
             put
             finger
             in
             the
             eye
             ,
             and
             say
             ,
             wel
             Husband
             ,
             well
             :
             who
             answered
             her
             againe
             :
             I
             wife
             ,
             so
             I
             have
             heard
             many
             a
             woman
             beginne
             well
             ,
             that
             have
             ended
             ill
             :
             There
             was
             string
             enough
             for
             her
             to
             harpe
             on
             ,
             who
             proceeding
             ,
             said
             ;
             I
             ,
             I
             ,
             it
             is
             my
             end
             that
             thou
             lookest
             for
             ,
             and
             dost
             wish
             an
             ill
             end
             to
             come
             to
             mee
             ,
             but
             I
             am
             not
             gone
             yet
             ;
             it
             is
             now
             but
             Al-hollow
             tide
             ,
             and
             I
             hope
             to
             eate
             some
             Christmas
             Pye
             with
             thee
             :
             looke
             then
             to
             thine
             owne
             taching
             ends
             ,
             for
             't
             is
             
             not
             thy
             hogges
             Brisles
             that
             can
             fright
             me
             to
             my
             grave
             for
             all
             this
             ;
             no
             nor
             for
             thy
             All
             that
             thou
             canst
             doe
             .
             A
             woman
             had
             as
             good
             to
             have
             an
             husband
             of
             Clouts
             .
             I
             would
             I
             had
             married
             with
             a
             Cobler
             ,
             he
             would
             have
             beene
             still
             on
             the
             mending
             hand
             ,
             but
             thou
             art
             every
             day
             worse
             and
             worse
             :
             but
             it
             is
             as
             little
             boote
             for
             me
             to
             tell
             thee
             of
             it
             ,
             as
             for
             thee
             to
             shooe
             the
             goose
             ;
             But
             it
             is
             the
             custome
             of
             all
             thy
             trade
             ,
             to
             use
             your
             poore
             soules
             thus
             :
             and
             there
             's
             a
             neighbour
             of
             thine
             at
             the
             next
             doore
             ,
             
             there
             is
             neither
             barrell
             of
             you
             better
             herring
             :
             you
             take
             no
             more
             pitty
             to
             see
             a
             woman
             weepe
             ,
             than
             to
             see
             a
             Goose
             goe
             barefoot
             :
             but
             for
             mine
             owne
             part
             ,
             though
             thou
             keepest
             mee
             in
             my
             Corkes
             ,
             I
             doe
             not
             meane
             so
             soon
             to
             turne
             up
             my
             heeles
             ,
             nor
             to
             bee
             so
             quickly
             underlaid
             :
             Thou
             shalt
             not
             finde
             that
             Atropos
             sheares
             and
             thy
             cutting
             knife
             are
             all
             one
             :
             Most
             sure
             I
             am
             ,
             thou
             wouldst
             take
             more
             pleasure
             to
             cut
             my
             throat
             ,
             than
             thine
             owne
             thread
             :
             when
             I
             matcht
             with
             thee
             ,
             I
             might
             have
             married
             
             with
             one
             ,
             whom
             thou
             art
             no
             more
             like
             than
             an
             Apple
             is
             like
             to
             an
             Oyster
             ;
             he
             was
             a
             proper
             man
             indeede
             :
             But
             I
             see
             the
             properer
             man
             the
             worse
             luck
             ,
             and
             so
             I
             finde
             it
             to
             my
             cost
             :
             for
             he
             had
             a
             cleane
             Legge
             ,
             and
             a
             handsome
             Foote
             ;
             but
             thou
             hast
             neither
             ,
             a
             very
             shamble-shinne
             ,
             and
             hast
             a
             foote
             of
             the
             slovings
             Last
             :
             But
             I
             hope
             that
             will
             not
             last
             alwayes
             ,
             which
             if
             I
             thought
             ,
             there
             is
             scarce
             any
             way
             that
             I
             would
             find
             to
             tread
             in
             ,
             unlesse
             the
             gate
             that
             leades
             to
             thy
             grave
             .
             Thou
             canst
             vaumpe
             
             old
             Bootes
             ,
             but
             when
             wilt
             thou
             vaumpe
             mee
             ,
             and
             make
             me
             new
             and
             fresh
             againe
             ?
             nay
             ,
             thou
             hast
             thy
             tricks
             and
             turne-overs
             ,
             but
             I
             hope
             thou
             shalt
             not
             turne-over
             me
             in
             haste
             :
             nay
             ,
             thou
             art
             none
             of
             the
             Hastings
             ,
             but
             slow
             enough
             ,
             where
             thou
             shouldest
             be
             sure
             :
             thou
             hast
             an
             high
             minde
             ,
             and
             an
             high
             Insteppe
             ,
             and
             still
             art
             in
             an
             ambition
             to
             waxe
             and
             waxe
             higher
             and
             greater
             ;
             but
             I
             shall
             never
             finde
             it
             whilst
             I
             have
             an
             hole
             in
             my
             skin
             ,
             thou
             leathern'd
             skinne
             Rascall
             .
             More
             she
             would
             have
             said
             ,
             but
             
             shee
             wept
             out
             the
             rest
             ,
             and
             so
             went
             away
             and
             left
             him
             .
          
        
         
           
             A
             Bakers
             Wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             THou
             as
             honest
             a
             man
             as
             lives
             by
             bread
             ?
             thou
             as
             arrant
             a
             thiefe
             as
             steales
             in
             a
             Barne
             ;
             thou
             art
             no
             better
             than
             a
             knave
             in
             graine
             ;
             indeede
             thou
             art
             as
             course
             as
             thy
             Bran
             ,
             and
             I
             the
             flower
             of
             thy
             garden
             ;
             and
             what
             am
             I
             the
             more
             minded
             for
             all
             
             this
             ,
             thou
             hutch
             backt
             fellow
             ?
             who
             for
             thy
             unkindnesse
             to
             me
             ,
             deservedst
             to
             bee
             duckt
             in
             St.
             Clements
             Well
             .
             The
             honest
             man
             desired
             her
             to
             be
             patient
             ,
             and
             to
             hold
             her
             peace
             ,
             lest
             shee
             should
             make
             too
             loud
             a
             noyse
             ,
             and
             so
             trouble
             the
             neighbours
             :
             she
             presently
             made
             him
             answer
             :
             what
             dost
             thou
             thinke
             I
             will
             bee
             meale-mouth'd
             as
             thou
             art
             ?
             and
             hast
             ever
             beene
             since
             I
             first
             knew
             thee
             :
             no
             ,
             I
             le
             see
             thee
             first
             weighed
             in
             thine
             owne
             scales
             ,
             and
             so
             thou
             shalt
             goe
             to
             the
             Devill
             for
             measure
             ;
             
             for
             like
             thy
             bread
             ,
             thou
             wilt
             be
             found
             many
             grains
             too
             light
             .
             When
             thou
             art
             told
             of
             thy
             base
             cheating
             and
             false
             weights
             ,
             then
             thou
             lookest
             like
             an
             Image
             made
             of
             Rye-Dow
             ;
             me-thinkes
             the
             slave
             lookes
             as
             if
             he
             were
             dow-bak't
             ,
             and
             as
             pale
             as
             the
             ashes
             which
             his
             Malkin
             sweepes
             out
             of
             his
             Oven
             ,
             where
             the
             good
             wife
             would
             never
             have
             sought
             her
             daughter
             ,
             but
             that
             shee
             had
             beene
             there
             before
             her selfe
             :
             But
             thou
             hast
             a
             desire
             to
             proclaime
             thine
             owne
             destiny
             ,
             and
             soundest
             an
             Horne
             ever
             before
             
             thou
             art
             ready
             to
             set
             in
             :
             but
             thou
             art
             not
             of
             every
             mans
             minde
             (
             and
             I
             commend
             thee
             for
             it
             )
             for
             there
             is
             many
             a
             one
             that
             weares
             an
             horne
             ,
             and
             is
             loath
             to
             blow
             it
             .
             You
             weare
             a
             cappe
             and
             long
             haire
             ,
             and
             you
             tell
             folkes
             that
             askes
             you
             why
             you
             weare
             your
             haire
             so
             long
             ,
             it
             is
             because
             the
             mould
             of
             your
             head
             was
             not
             well
             closed
             at
             first
             by
             the
             midwife
             ;
             when
             indeede
             it
             is
             ,
             that
             none
             should
             perceive
             that
             you
             have
             lost
             your
             eares
             in
             the
             Pillary
             ,
             for
             cousening
             ,
             and
             making
             light
             bread
             .
             And
             now
             
             good-man
             Baker
             what
             canst
             thou
             bolt
             out
             of
             me
             for
             all
             this
             ?
             My
             greatest
             comfort
             is
             ,
             that
             there
             is
             no
             great
             feare
             of
             thy
             interfearing
             ;
             for
             thy
             crooked
             knees
             meete
             so
             close
             ,
             and
             thy
             skew
             legges
             are
             so
             distant
             one
             from
             another
             ,
             that
             it
             is
             unpossible
             that
             thou
             shouldest
             ever
             gall
             thine
             Ankles
             ,
             and
             yet
             thou
             oftner
             reachest
             them
             than
             thou
             rubbest
             my
             Shinnes
             :
             and
             if
             I
             should
             now
             offer
             to
             play
             at
             In
             and
             In
             ,
             wee
             should
             the
             next
             day
             see
             you
             upon
             the
             Pillery
             looke
             out
             .
             But
             thou
             thinkest
             to
             keepe
             
             me
             like
             a
             Mouse
             in
             thy
             Binne
             ,
             but
             if
             thou
             hopest
             for
             any
             such
             thing
             ,
             thou
             wilt
             finde
             thy
             Cake
             to
             be
             but
             Dowe
             ;
             for
             howsoever
             thou
             makest
             the
             Paste
             ,
             leave
             me
             alone
             to
             take
             order
             to
             lay
             the
             Leven
             ,
             and
             to
             make
             the
             Proverbe
             good
             ;
             Who
             eateth
             worse
             Bread
             than
             the
             Baker
             ?
             What
             doth
             this
             gravell
             you
             ?
             But
             why
             do
             I
             trouble
             my selfe
             to
             an
             unsifted
             ,
             and
             therefore
             an
             unsanctified
             man
             :
             Alas
             ,
             my
             anger
             lasteth
             no
             longer
             than
             one
             of
             his
             Bakers
             Bakings
             ;
             and
             therefore
             for
             the
             present
             
             I
             le
             give
             over
             .
             I
             am
             afraid
             I
             have
             beene
             somewhat
             too
             tedious
             in
             the
             former
             ,
             and
             therefore
             I
             will
             strive
             to
             be
             more
             briefer
             in
             the
             following
             ;
             and
             therefore
             to
             contract
             a
             long
             circumstance
             into
             a
             lesse
             compasse
             ,
             more
             succinct
             and
             compendious
             receive
             them
             thus
             :
             and
             I
             thus
             pursue
             my
             discourse
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             an
             Inne-keepers
             Wife
             to
             her
             Husband
             :
             with
             a
             Tale
             of
             an
             Inne-keeper
             and
             his
             wife
             .
          
           
             VVHy
             husband
             ,
             are
             you
             not
             ashamed
             to
             be
             so
             idle
             and
             sit
             in
             that
             manner
             ,
             with
             your
             hands
             in
             your
             bosome
             ,
             and
             the
             house
             full
             of
             guesse
             ,
             it
             being
             terme
             time
             ,
             you
             may
             be
             asham'd
             of
             it
             ,
             if
             you
             had
             any
             honesty
             in
             you
             ,
             but
             you
             have
             none
             ;
             you
             keep
             a
             company
             of
             cheating
             base
             knaves
             about
             you
             ,
             
             to
             cousen
             your
             guesse
             :
             the
             Tapster
             for
             nicking
             and
             frothing
             his
             Jugges
             ,
             and
             his
             Cans
             ;
             your
             Chamberlaine
             for
             over-reaching
             your
             guesse
             in
             their
             reckonings
             ;
             your
             lazy
             Ostler
             for
             having
             a
             hole
             in
             the
             Manger
             ,
             that
             when
             horses
             have
             their
             Oates
             they
             fall
             through
             into
             a
             convenient
             place
             ;
             and
             keeping
             of
             false
             measures
             ;
             and
             you
             your selfe
             knowes
             of
             all
             this
             ,
             and
             yet
             winke
             at
             it
             ,
             saying
             ,
             come
             ,
             all
             trades
             must
             live
             ;
             and
             so
             there
             is
             nothing
             but
             cousening
             of
             all
             sides
             .
          
           
             
               Husb.
               
            
             
               Wife
               you
               are
               
               very
               hot
               ,
               I
               doe
               thinke
               you
               want
               an
               Hostler
               to
               walke
               you
               ;
               you
               have
               bin
               a
               Gossiping
               ,
               and
               have
               taken
               a
               Cup
               too
               much
               ,
               which
               makes
               you
               talke
               thus
               ;
               doe
               you
               meane
               to
               undoe
               me
               ,
               and
               your selfe
               too
               :
               if
               you
               continue
               on
               this
               course
               of
               railing
               ,
               what
               will
               your
               guesse
               thinke
               ?
               wee
               shall
               by
               this
               meanes
               lose
               all
               our
               Customers
               ,
               and
               make
               mee
               worke
               in
               the
               end
               .
            
          
           
             
               Wife
               .
            
             
               Let
               it
               worke
               ,
               and
               worke
               againe
               ,
               like
               Ginger
               in
               a
               Sowes
               Arse
               ,
               I
               care
               not
               ,
               I
               have
               enough
               for
               one
               ;
               shift
               that
               shift
               
               can
               ,
               I
               will
               not
               be
               questioned
               ,
               and
               hit
               in
               the
               teeth
               with
               my
               Gossips
               ,
               and
               the
               wine
               I
               have
               dranke
               at
               any
               time
               .
            
          
           
             
               
                 The
                 Inne-keepers
                 Song
                 .
              
               
                 He
                 that
                 marries
                 a
                 scold
                 ,
                 a
                 Scold
                 ,
              
               
                 Hee
                 hath
                 most
                 cause
                 to
                 bee
                 merry
                 ;
              
               
                 For
                 when
                 she
                 's
                 in
                 her
                 fits
                 ,
              
               
                 He
                 may
                 cherish
                 his
                 wits
              
               
                 With
                 a
                 cup
                 of
                 old
                 Canary
                 .
              
            
          
           
             
               Now
               followes
               the
               Tale.
            
             
          
           
             A
             lusty
             Inne-keepers
             Wife
             ,
             and
             an
             handsome
             
             Hostesse
             ,
             ready
             to
             give
             her
             guests
             welcome
             at
             all
             seasons
             :
             at
             the
             time
             of
             taking
             in
             of
             Hey
             ,
             having
             a
             young
             able
             fellow
             to
             his
             Ostler
             ,
             the
             good
             man
             of
             the
             Inne
             could
             not
             keepe
             his
             wife
             out
             of
             the
             Hey-loft
             :
             at
             which
             hee
             growing
             somewhat
             jealous
             ,
             (
             and
             not
             altogether
             without
             cause
             )
             demanded
             of
             her
             the
             reason
             why
             she
             was
             more
             of
             late
             delighted
             in
             the
             treading
             of
             the
             Hey
             than
             before
             shee
             had
             ;
             and
             withall
             what
             shee
             did
             make
             there
             ?
             for
             the
             Hey
             was
             troden
             already
             :
             who
             laying
             
             aside
             her
             wonted
             scoulding
             for
             the
             present
             ,
             and
             made
             him
             this
             smiling
             answer
             :
             What
             an
             ignorant
             Coxe-combe
             Husband
             ,
             are
             you
             growne
             of
             late
             ?
             What
             I
             pray
             you
             should
             a
             young
             man
             ,
             and
             a
             young
             woman
             doe
             ,
             when
             they
             are
             together
             in
             an
             Hey-loft
             ?
             Which
             doubtfull
             answer
             put
             him
             into
             a
             worse
             quandary
             ,
             than
             if
             she
             had
             entred
             directly
             with
             him
             into
             a
             quarrell
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             Of
             a
             Tobacco
             mans
             wife
             to
             her
             Husband
             .
          
           
             A
             Tobacco
             woman
             was
             wont
             to
             borrow
             from
             her
             neighbour
             the
             Apothecary
             ,
             the
             name
             of
             Glister
             Pipe
             ,
             and
             tell
             him
             he
             tooke
             his
             Tobacco
             the
             wrong
             way
             ,
             for
             he
             should
             rather
             take
             it
             at
             his
             taile
             than
             at
             his
             mouth
             ,
             for
             it
             was
             the
             best
             medicine
             for
             the
             Wind-cholick
             ,
             and
             compar'd
             him
             to
             a
             smoky
             fellow
             ,
             and
             the
             next
             degree
             
             to
             a
             Chimney-sweeper
             '
             and
             complained
             of
             him
             that
             though
             shee
             all
             the
             day
             long
             kept
             her selfe
             sweete
             and
             cleane
             ,
             yet
             hee
             came
             home
             every
             night
             with
             a
             foule
             and
             stinking
             Pipe
             :
             which
             he
             not
             able
             ,
             or
             at
             least
             not
             willing
             to
             endure
             ,
             cald
             her
             durty
             flut
             ,
             and
             said
             shee
             neither
             knew
             her
             manners
             nor
             duty
             ;
             to
             which
             she
             replyed
             ,
             no
             manners
             with
             a
             mischiefe
             ,
             and
             duty
             in
             the
             Devills
             name
             ;
             you
             Owley-Glasse
             ,
             before
             next
             Iune
             ,
             I
             le
             teach
             you
             to
             light
             your
             Tobacco
             
             with
             nothing
             but
             Iuniper
             .
             And
             had
             not
             a
             Customer
             then
             come
             in
             ,
             shee
             had
             beene
             more
             large
             in
             her
             Lecture
             .
          
        
         
           
             A
             Pewterers
             wife
             and
             a
             Poulterers
             wife
             ,
             prating
             of
             their
             Husbands
             over
             a
             Pint
             of
             Wine
             .
          
           
             TWo
             Gossiping
             women
             the
             one
             wife
             to
             a
             Pewterer
             ,
             the
             other
             a
             Poulterer
             ,
             meeting
             in
             the
             market
             beganne
             to
             renew
             old
             acquaintance
             ,
             &
             after
             many
             an
             
               how
               do
               you
            
             ?
             they
             agreed
             
             to
             joyne
             their
             halfe
             pints
             a
             peece
             and
             to
             goe
             over
             to
             the
             next
             Taverne
             ,
             where
             being
             set
             in
             a
             private
             roome
             ,
             and
             calling
             for
             a
             pint
             of
             Muskadell
             and
             a
             rowle
             ,
             the
             one
             began
             as
             followeth
             ,
             and
             I
             pray
             you
             sister
             (
             for
             so
             we
             cald
             ,
             when
             we
             were
             maid-servants
             in
             an
             house
             together
             )
             how
             doth
             your
             good
             man
             and
             you
             agree
             ?
             For
             mine
             own
             part
             ,
             I
             was
             not
             at
             the
             first
             so
             mad
             to
             bee
             married
             ,
             as
             I
             find
             now
             leasure
             to
             repent
             it
             :
             in
             troth
             replyd
             the
             other
             ,
             and
             I
             find
             my
             case
             and
             yours
             to
             be
             much
             about
             one
             ,
             good
             husbands
             
             are
             thicke
             fowne
             ,
             but
             they
             come
             up
             but
             thinne
             ,
             and
             there
             is
             show
             of
             a
             great
             harvest
             when
             there
             is
             but
             little
             corn
             ,
             and
             that
             I
             have
             found
             to
             my
             cost
             ;
             for
             (
             said
             the
             Pewterers
             wife
             if
             I
             were
             to
             marry
             againe
             twenty
             times
             over
             ,
             I
             would
             never
             have
             an
             hammerman
             whilst
             I
             liv'd
             ,
             nor
             I
             (
             said
             the
             other
             )
             a
             Poulterer
             ,
             hee
             is
             one
             of
             the
             most
             slovinglist
             fellowes
             ,
             and
             deales
             so
             much
             in
             fowle
             ,
             that
             I
             can
             make
             him
             keep
             nothing
             clean
             about
             him
             ,
             nay
             when
             he
             should
             come
             to
             bed
             to
             me
             ,
             me
             thinks
             hee
             smells
             like
             his
             stale
             
             poultry
             ,
             and
             what
             woman
             of
             fashion
             (
             for
             you
             know
             sister
             I
             was
             a
             choice
             peece
             when
             you
             knew
             me
             first
             )
             is
             able
             to
             endure
             it
             ,
             there
             she
             paused
             ,
             and
             then
             the
             other
             began
             ,
             and
             said
             ,
             and
             you
             know
             I
             might
             have
             had
             matches
             ,
             and
             good
             ones
             too
             ,
             before
             I
             met
             with
             this
             Dromedary
             to
             live
             in
             a
             Pewterers
             house
             ,
             where
             there
             is
             such
             rapping
             and
             knocking
             early
             and
             late
             ,
             one
             had
             better
             dwell
             in
             Crooked-lane
             or
             amongst
             the
             Brasiers
             in
             Loath-bery
             ;
             nay
             it
             loathes
             my
             very
             stomack
             to
             think
             on
             it
             ,
             and
             the
             rather
             when
             
             I
             find
             by
             proofe
             ,
             that
             these
             who
             deale
             altogether
             in
             mettall
             ,
             have
             no
             mettall
             at
             all
             in
             them
             ;
             for
             he
             hath
             beene
             this
             two
             yeeres
             and
             upward
             ,
             to
             beate
             out
             a
             boy
             ,
             or
             hammer
             out
             a
             girle
             and
             cannot
             :
             troth
             my
             poultry
             ware
             is
             even
             cookt
             with
             the
             same
             sauce
             (
             saith
             the
             other
             :
             )
             but
             I
             pray
             you
             what
             words
             of
             Art
             have
             you
             for
             him
             when
             he
             angers
             you
             :
             who
             answered
             ,
             because
             hee
             is
             somewhat
             purblind
             ,
             sometimes
             I
             call
             him
             Owle
             ,
             and
             Booby
             ,
             and
             now
             and
             then
             saucer-ey'd
             slave
             and
             platter-fac'd
             rascall
             ,
             aske
             
             him
             if
             the
             great
             baby
             meanes
             still
             to
             bee
             fed
             with
             spoone
             meat
             ,
             and
             the
             like
             ,
             nay
             I
             never
             greatly
             studdy
             for
             his
             words
             ,
             I
             cut
             his
             livery
             out
             of
             the
             next
             cloath
             that
             comes
             to
             hand
             :
             and
             I
             (
             saith
             the
             Poulterers
             wife
             )
             follow
             the
             same
             course
             to
             an
             heire
             ,
             there
             goes
             but
             a
             bare
             paire
             of
             sheeres
             betwixt
             them
             :
             to
             give
             him
             his
             stile
             ,
             I
             need
             goe
             no
             further
             then
             his
             stall
             ;
             for
             if
             he
             vexe
             me
             ,
             I
             call
             him
             Goose
             ,
             and
             Widging
             ,
             and
             Dotrell
             ,
             and
             Woodcock
             ,
             (
             no
             other
             then
             he
             brings
             with
             him
             )
             nay
             if
             he
             moves
             
             me
             much
             (
             as
             that
             which
             angereth
             him
             most
             )
             I
             call
             him
             Capon
             ;
             but
             said
             the
             other
             ,
             never
             Cocke
             of
             the
             game
             I
             warrant
             you
             ;
             to
             which
             was
             replyd
             ,
             no
             I
             will
             see
             him
             in
             the
             pit
             first
             ,
             which
             word
             may
             carry
             a
             double
             meaning
             :
             at
             which
             the
             drawer
             came
             in
             and
             asked
             them
             what
             do
             you
             lack
             ?
             when
             both
             spake
             at
             once
             and
             said
             ,
             either
             of
             us
             a
             good
             husband
             :
             the
             drawer
             made
             answer
             ,
             if
             you
             have
             not
             good
             husbands
             ,
             I
             would
             you
             had
             such
             as
             you
             like
             good
             Gentlewomen
             ;
             God
             a
             mercy
             honest
             drawer
             ,
             for
             that
             word
             I
             
             will
             drinke
             to
             thee
             ,
             and
             thou
             shalt
             pledge
             me
             in
             a
             fresh
             cup
             of
             wine
             ,
             come
             draw
             another
             pint
             of
             the
             same
             Sack
             as
             you
             did
             before
             ;
             nay
             said
             the
             Pewterers
             wife
             ,
             let
             us
             not
             out-runne
             the
             Constable
             ,
             for
             I
             protest
             I
             have
             not
             above
             three
             pence
             in
             my
             purse
             :
             it
             is
             no
             matter
             said
             the
             Poulterers
             wife
             ,
             hang
             money
             it
             is
             not
             that
             I
             stand
             upon
             ,
             the
             next
             customer
             that
             comes
             shall
             pay
             for
             this
             pint
             :
             I
             sister
             ,
             said
             the
             Pewterers
             wife
             you
             have
             money
             at
             will
             ,
             but
             I
             can
             get
             none
             ,
             unlesse
             I
             save
             it
             when
             I
             goe
             to
             market
             ,
             or
             
             at
             such
             times
             when
             my
             husband
             is
             foxed
             ,
             that
             I
             borrow
             a
             shilling
             or
             two
             out
             of
             his
             pocket
             that
             he
             doth
             not
             once
             thinke
             of
             ,
             for
             by
             my
             troth
             ,
             hee
             will
             not
             give
             me
             a
             penny
             extra
             ordinarie
             to
             drinke
             a
             pint
             of
             wine
             with
             a
             friend
             ,
             nor
             have
             I
             any
             way
             to
             get
             any
             money
             but
             what
             I
             have
             told
             you
             ,
             nor
             doe
             I
             stirre
             out
             of
             doores
             from
             one
             weeks
             end
             to
             the
             other
             ,
             unlesse
             to
             market
             and
             so
             backe
             againe
             :
             introth
             said
             the
             Poulterers
             wife
             I
             will
             not
             be
             mewed
             up
             like
             a
             hawke
             ,
             for
             I
             will
             both
             have
             money
             at
             my
             command
             ,
             
             and
             goe
             abroad
             when
             I
             please
             ,
             and
             never
             give
             an
             account
             where
             I
             have
             beene
             ;
             I
             marry
             said
             the
             Pewterers
             wife
             you
             spend
             the
             week
             merrily
             :
             I
             must
             confesse
             I
             do
             ,
             said
             the
             Poulterers
             wife
             ,
             did
             you
             never
             heere
             the
             merry
             saying
             of
             good
             old
             women
             ;
             and
             how
             they
             spend
             the
             week
             about
             :
             no
             indeed
             said
             the
             Pewterers
             wife
             ;
             then
             I
             will
             tell
             you
             ,
             said
             the
             Poulterers
             wife
             how
             ;
             thus
             you
             must
             spend
             the
             weeke
             ,
             and
             every
             day
             in
             the
             week
             .
          
           
             You
             know
             that
             Munday
             is
             Sundayes
             brother
             .
          
           
           
             Tuesday
             is
             such
             another
             .
          
           
             Wednsday
             you
             must
             go
             to
             Church
             and
             pray
             .
          
           
             Thursday
             is
             half
             holi-day
             .
          
           
             On
             Friday
             it
             is
             too
             late
             to
             begin
             to
             spin
             .
          
           
             Then
             Saturday
             is
             halfe
             holi-day
             agen
             .
          
           
             Well
             said
             sister
             ,
             I
             commend
             thee
             for
             thy
             wit
             ,
             heere
             's
             to
             thee
             one
             cup
             of
             Sacke
             the
             more
             for
             this
             merry
             saying
             :
             I
             come
             good
             sister
             ,
             &
             drink
             it
             off
             ,
             it
             will
             make
             you
             have
             a
             light
             hart
             &
             a
             merry
             countenance
             ,
             &
             kind
             hearted
             to
             your
             husband
             :
             and
             so
             they
             cald
             for
             a
             reckoning
             ,
             paid
             ,
             and
             for
             that
             time
             parted
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             Lock-smiths
             wife
             to
             her
             husband
             .
          
           
             A
             Lock-smith
             a
             sturdie
             blunt
             fellow
             ,
             and
             yet
             one
             that
             had
             not
             the
             trick
             to
             tame
             a
             shrew
             ,
             and
             yet
             was
             as
             jealous
             over
             her
             as
             any
             could
             bee
             (
             over
             his
             wife
             )
             that
             was
             tied
             to
             weare
             none
             but
             yellow
             stockings
             ;
             and
             shee
             one
             way
             as
             perverse
             as
             hee
             the
             other
             peevish
             ,
             would
             ordinarily
             call
             him
             Vulcan
             ,
             Cyclops
             and
             the
             like
             ,
             perswading
             him
             he
             halted
             
             though
             hee
             did
             not
             ,
             nay
             would
             not
             spare
             then
             to
             abuse
             him
             when
             hee
             was
             most
             busie
             at
             the
             Forge
             ,
             and
             tell
             him
             he
             was
             as
             teastie
             as
             his
             Tongs
             ,
             headed
             like
             his
             hammer
             ,
             his
             cheekes
             blowne
             up
             like
             his
             bellowes
             ,
             and
             if
             hee
             toucht
             her
             ,
             that
             his
             fingers
             pincht
             like
             his
             pinsers
             ;
             nay
             that
             there
             was
             but
             one
             degree
             remoov'd
             ,
             (
             that
             was
             the
             Collier
             ,
             )
             betwixt
             him
             and
             the
             Divell
             :
             which
             he
             with
             great
             impatience
             enduring
             ,
             lest
             scoulding
             and
             began
             to
             schoole
             her
             as
             followeth
             :
             wife
             't
             is
             not
             your
             tongue
             
             but
             your
             taile
             that
             I
             feare
             ;
             women
             ought
             to
             keepe
             an
             hatch
             before
             the
             doore
             ,
             to
             have
             their
             brests
             bard
             ,
             their
             hearts
             lock't
             ,
             and
             every
             suspicious
             place
             bolted
             ;
             who
             had
             not
             the
             patience
             to
             heare
             him
             any
             further
             ,
             but
             interrupted
             him
             and
             said
             ,
             and
             what
             of
             all
             this
             goodman
             snickup
             ,
             that
             cannot
             set
             the
             doore
             upon
             the
             right
             hinges
             ;
             here
             is
             a
             coyle
             with
             your
             barres
             ,
             your
             bolts
             ,
             and
             your
             locks
             ,
             I
             know
             none
             of
             all
             these
             locks
             thou
             speakest
             of
             ,
             but
             every
             Tapster
             and
             Ostler
             ,
             hath
             as
             good
             a
             key
             ,
             as
             the
             
             best
             Smith
             of
             you
             all
             to
             open
             .
          
           
             
               
                 The
                 Smiths
                 advice
                 to
                 his
                 neighbours
                 .
              
               
                 Hee
                 that
                 hath
                 a
                 good
                 wife
                 ,
                 make
                 much
                 on
                 her
                 ,
              
               
                 Carry
                 her
                 to
                 the
                 Alehouse
                 and
                 bestow
                 nothing
                 on
                 her
                 ,
              
               
                 If
                 she
                 hath
                 any
                 money
                 take
                 it
                 all
                 from
                 her
                 ,
              
               
                 And
                 if
                 she
                 hath
                 none
                 ,
                 fling
                 her
                 upon
                 the
                 fire
                 and
                 burne
                 her
                 .
              
            
          
        
         
           
           
             Skimmingtons
             Lecture
             to
             her
             husband
             which
             is
             the
             errand
             scold
             .
          
           
             VVHat
             not
             a
             word
             this
             morning
             ,
             are
             you
             all
             alike
             ,
             drunke
             and
             sober
             ,
             cannot
             you
             speake
             ,
             or
             have
             you
             lost
             your
             tongue
             ,
             you
             may
             be
             ashamed
             ,
             had
             you
             any
             grace
             in
             you
             at
             all
             ,
             to
             bee
             such
             a
             common
             drunkard
             ,
             a
             pisse-pot
             ,
             a
             beast
             ,
             nay
             worse
             then
             a
             beast
             ,
             for
             they
             can
             tell
             when
             they
             
             have
             sufficient
             ,
             but
             thou
             canst
             not
             tell
             ;
             every
             day
             foxed
             &
             at
             night
             brought
             home
             by
             a
             watchman
             ;
             and
             the
             next
             morning
             you
             are
             then
             a
             little
             crop-sick
             ,
             and
             then
             to
             cure
             your
             squeezy
             stomacke
             ,
             you
             get
             a
             haire
             with
             the
             same
             dog
             ,
             you
             know
             what
             I
             meane
             you
             drunken
             sot
             ,
             a
             cup
             of
             the
             same
             wine
             burnt
             or
             muld
             that
             you
             dranke
             raw
             over
             night
             ,
             this
             you
             call
             Physicke
             and
             say
             it
             is
             good
             and
             wholsome
             once
             a
             month
             ,
             and
             this
             is
             your
             course
             of
             life
             ,
             from
             one
             weeks
             end
             to
             the
             other
             .
             As
             I
             am
             a
             sinner
             I
             am
             ashamed
             
             of
             thee
             thou
             art
             such
             a
             noted
             Taverne
             hunter
             ;
             and
             such
             a
             nasty
             beast
             thou
             makest
             thy selfe
             ,
             that
             I
             even
             loath
             thee
             every
             time
             I
             see
             thee
             in
             that
             pickle
             ;
             fie
             upon
             thee
             I
             could
             spit
             upon
             thee
             if
             it
             were
             not
             for
             shame
             ,
             and
             speech
             of
             people
             ;
             by
             this
             fire
             that
             burnes
             I
             will
             make
             thee
             ashamed
             and
             declare
             thy
             base
             actions
             and
             course
             of
             life
             to
             all
             companies
             wheresoever
             ;
             I
             come
             or
             goe
             :
             thou
             art
             bewitched
             to
             the
             Taverne
             ,
             and
             to
             such
             base
             company
             that
             have
             no
             regard
             or
             care
             of
             their
             wives
             and
             family
             
             at
             home
             .
          
           
             
               Husb.
               
            
             
               Good
               wife
               forbeare
               your
               violent
               and
               raging
               speeches
               ,
               I
               confesse
               I
               am
               in
               a
               fault
               ,
               but
               it
               shall
               be
               so
               no
               more
               ;
               I
               am
               sorry
               for
               it
               ,
               I
               will
               take
               a
               new
               course
               with
               my selfe
               and
               forsake
               all
               ill
               company
               ,
               and
               forsweare
               drinking
               any
               wine
               ,
               if
               you
               will
               be
               but
               patient
               for
               this
               time
               I
               will
               amend
               all
               ;
               I
               pray
               speake
               no
               more
               at
               this
               time
               good
               wife
               .
            
          
           
             
               Wife
               .
            
             
               I
               scorne
               to
               bee
               a
               good
               wife
               to
               such
               a
               perpetuall
               drunkard
               ,
               that
               is
               drunke
               ordinarily
               twice
               a
               a
               day
               ,
               and
               never
               comes
               
               home
               ,
               unlesse
               it
               bee
               to
               sleepe
               ,
               and
               then
               out
               againe
               ,
               and
               bee
               drunke
               within
               two
               or
               three
               houres
               after
               ,
               as
               bad
               as
               you
               were
               before
               :
               I
               would
               you
               had
               but
               a
               looking-glasse
               to
               see
               how
               you
               looke
               now
               you
               have
               been
               a
               foxing
               ;
               or
               that
               you
               would
               remember
               what
               anticke
               and
               apish
               tricks
               you
               play
               ,
               when
               you
               are
               in
               this
               case
               :
               you
               are
               never
               kinde
               to
               mee
               ,
               but
               when
               you
               are
               fudled
               ,
               and
               then
               you
               can
               cogge
               and
               dissemble
               with
               me
               ,
               to
               have
               your
               owne
               will
               or
               what
               you
               want
               :
               when
               your
               head
               
               akes
               the
               next
               morning
               ,
               or
               a
               fart
               wring
               you
               by
               the
               breeceh
               ,
               then
               pray
               hold
               my
               head
               deare
               wife
               :
               then
               you
               are
               sicke
               ,
               and
               must
               have
               a
               Posset
               made
               you
               ;
               but
               instead
               of
               a
               Posset
               ,
               I
               will
               provide
               you
               a
               Crab-tree
               Cudgell
               ;
               and
               if
               that
               will
               not
               doe
               any
               good
               of
               you
               ,
               I
               then
               will
               have
               a
               Rope
               and
               Butter
               ,
               that
               if
               one
               slippe
               ,
               the
               other
               may
               hold
               ;
               it
               is
               an
               ease
               matter
               for
               to
               Lam-baste
               your
               drunken
               hide
               when
               you
               cannot
               stand
               ;
               then
               I
               will
               domineere
               over
               you
               ;
               for
               I
               see
               there
               is
               no
               other
               way
               ,
               
               but
               by
               force
               to
               make
               you
               leave
               this
               veine
               of
               drinking
               drunke
               ;
               therefore
               I
               will
               have
               no
               longer
               patience
               ,
               nor
               talke
               much
               to
               spend
               my
               spirits
               :
               But
               I
               will
               doe
               more
               :
               Come
               sirrah
               ,
               tell
               me
               first
               in
               what
               company
               you
               were
               in
               yesterday
               ,
               from
               nine
               of
               the
               Clocke
               in
               the
               morning
               ,
               till
               twelve
               at
               night
               .
               Then
               secondly
               ,
               tell
               mee
               what
               Taverne
               you
               were
               at
               .
               Then
               thirdly
               what
               Wine
               you
               dranke
               .
               Then
               lastly
               ,
               what
               it
               cost
               you
               all
               the
               day
               in
               expences
               ;
               and
               what
               you
               had
               to
               eate
               ,
               for
               it
               is
               impossible
               you
               could
               
               be
               all
               that
               while
               at
               a
               Taverne
               ,
               and
               eate
               nothing
               .
            
          
           
             
               Hush
               .
            
             
               Nay
               by
               my
               troth
               wife
               ,
               I
               cannot
               call
               to
               minde
               all
               these
               several
               circumstances
               :
               some
               I
               can
               give
               you
               account
               of
               ;
               some
               I
               cannot
               ,
               nor
               will
               not
               .
            
          
           
             
               VVife
               .
            
             
               You
               cannot
               ,
               nor
               you
               will
               not
               .
               Nay
               now
               you
               drunken
               slave
               ,
               I
               have
               taken
               you
               upon
               the
               advantage
               ,
               I
               will
               now
               trye
               whether
               you
               or
               I
               shall
               be
               master
               :
               I
               will
               not
               now
               be
               satisfied
               with
               any
               reason
               ;
               nor
               no
               words
               shall
               prevaile
               ,
               but
               now
               blowes
               shall
               :
               how
               doe
               
                 
              
               
               you
               like
               that
               tell
               me
               :
               nay
               now
               a
               little
               of
               the
               other
               side
               ,
               that
               the
               one
               side
               may
               not
               mocke
               the
               other
               .
            
          
           
             
               Come
               Sirrah
               ,
               you
               are
               a
               Drunkard
               ,
               and
               spend
               all
               your
               money
            
             
               And
               when
               you
               come
               home
               you
               call
               me
               your
               honey
               .
            
             
               But
               all
               shall
               not
               serve
               thee
               ,
               for
               have
               at
               thy
               pate
               ,
            
             
               My
               Ladle
               of
               the
               Crab-tree
               ,
               shall
               teach
               thee
               to
               cogge
               and
               to
               prate
               .
            
          
           
             
               Husband
               .
            
             
               O
               good
               wife
               forbeare
               ,
               I
               will
               be
               very
               ample
               ,
            
             
               And
               to
               all
               ill
               husbands
               I
               le
               
               prove
               an
               example
            
          
           
             
               Wife
               .
            
             
               Well
               doe
               ,
               and
               see
               you
               doe
               so
               ,
               and
               you
               shall
               see
               ,
               I
            
             
               Wee
               'le
               never
               her
               after
               cause
               you
               to
               kneele
               and
               to
               cry
               .
            
          
           
             
               This
               she
               spake
               to
               her
               maid-servant
               ,
               out
               of
               his
               hearing
               .
            
          
           
             Ah
             ,
             hah
             ,
             have
             I
             got
             the
             master
             now
             ?
             I
             will
             hold
             it
             ,
             while
             I
             have
             it
             ,
             and
             bragge
             and
             tell
             my
             other
             neighbours
             wives
             of
             it
             ,
             that
             they
             may
             doe
             the
             like
             to
             their
             Husbands
             ,
             as
             I
             have
             done
             to
             my
             white-liver'd
             ,
             faint-hearted
             husband
             ,
             
             gramarcy
             ,
             this
             stout
             heart
             of
             mine
             :
             and
             I
             doe
             thanke
             the
             Fates
             that
             they
             decreed
             hee
             should
             have
             no
             courage
             in
             him
             at
             this
             time
             that
             I
             tooke
             him
             to
             taske
             :
             for
             had
             he
             but
             offered
             to
             have
             made
             resistance
             ,
             or
             strove
             with
             me
             ,
             he
             might
             have
             very
             easily
             wrung
             this
             Crab-tree
             Ladle
             out
             of
             my
             hands
             ,
             and
             have
             basted
             me
             with
             it
             ,
             as
             I
             have
             done
             him
             :
             I
             see
             it
             is
             good
             sometimes
             to
             put
             on
             a
             bold
             face
             ,
             and
             a
             resolute
             courage
             ,
             though
             in
             a
             desperate
             and
             doubtfull
             action
             :
             For
             who
             
             would
             have
             imagined
             that
             I
             should
             be
             the
             conqueror
             ,
             had
             they
             seene
             thy
             Master
             and
             my selfe
             stand
             together
             :
             now
             the
             Proverbe
             is
             very
             true
             ;
             the
             gray
             mare
             is
             the
             better
             horse
             ;
             for
             indeede
             I
             was
             very
             angry
             ,
             and
             full
             of
             wrath
             ,
             and
             wrath
             is
             commendable
             ,
             when
             the
             occasion
             is
             just
             ,
             as
             it
             was
             now
             on
             my
             side
             ;
             for
             wee
             little
             women
             are
             soone
             hot
             ,
             and
             our
             hearts
             are
             neare
             our
             mouthes
             ,
             and
             speake
             our
             mindes
             ,
             and
             doe
             our
             does
             ,
             and
             then
             we
             have
             done
             ;
             for
             anger
             is
             no
             infirmity
             ,
             nor
             is
             it
             
             to
             bee
             held
             a
             capitall
             Crime
             :
             but
             for
             a
             woman
             to
             persevere
             in
             her
             anger
             ,
             that
             is
             an
             infirmity
             ,
             and
             subject
             to
             the
             censure
             of
             the
             Law.
             This
             Act
             of
             mine
             may
             prove
             advantagious
             to
             mee
             ,
             and
             may
             worke
             much
             upon
             my
             Husbands
             thoughts
             ,
             and
             him
             make
             somewhat
             better
             ,
             then
             ever
             he
             was
             since
             his
             mother
             bound
             his
             head
             :
             for
             he
             findes
             now
             at
             the
             first
             what
             hee
             shall
             trust
             to
             alwaies
             ,
             if
             hee
             once
             crosse
             mee
             in
             my
             intentions
             :
             it
             is
             a
             notable
             good
             thing
             ,
             and
             worth
             your
             observation
             ,
             Hussy
             ,
             
             to
             know
             how
             to
             provide
             a
             remedy
             for
             a
             calamity
             ,
             I
             should
             never
             have
             ridde
             thy
             Master
             from
             that
             course
             of
             ill-husbandry
             ,
             but
             by
             this
             meanes
             :
             and
             I
             must
             still
             threaten
             him
             ,
             and
             keepe
             him
             in
             awe
             ;
             for
             that
             body
             which
             is
             accustomed
             to
             patience
             ,
             or
             to
             his
             kinde
             of
             usage
             ,
             will
             never
             forsake
             any
             place
             for
             paine
             or
             travile
             whatsoever
             .
             I
             have
             heard
             many
             men
             say
             ,
             that
             a
             woman
             and
             a
             Spannell
             ,
             the
             more
             thy
             are
             beaten
             ,
             the
             better
             they
             will
             love
             their
             Masters
             :
             I
             have
             now
             tryed
             conclusions
             ,
             
             and
             have
             once
             crost
             that
             Proverbe
             ;
             and
             will
             try
             whether
             my
             husband
             will
             love
             mee
             the
             better
             yea
             or
             no
             :
             and
             now
             I
             le
             perswade
             him
             ,
             that
             the
             more
             a
             man
             is
             beaten
             ,
             and
             a
             Wall-nut-tree
             ,
             the
             better
             and
             larger
             fruite
             may
             bee
             expected
             from
             the
             one
             ,
             and
             the
             more
             obedience
             and
             love
             from
             the
             other
             :
             for
             doe
             but
             hang
             a
             dogge
             in
             a
             Crabbe-tree
             ,
             and
             hee
             will
             never
             love
             verjuce
             after
             :
             so
             let
             every
             woman
             fall
             upon
             her
             husband
             ,
             not
             onely
             in
             bare
             railing
             words
             ,
             but
             doe
             it
             in
             action
             ,
             and
             say
             it
             on
             to
             
             the
             purpose
             ,
             he
             will
             ever
             after
             bee
             afraid
             of
             comming
             home
             so
             late
             drunk
             ,
             I
             will
             warrant
             you
             :
             a
             woman
             that
             hath
             such
             a
             husband
             ,
             ought
             rather
             to
             be
             a
             Shrew
             than
             a
             sheepe
             :
             for
             when
             they
             finde
             that
             a
             woman
             is
             of
             a
             milde
             disposition
             ,
             and
             will
             not
             talke
             to
             them
             ,
             and
             tell
             them
             of
             their
             faults
             roundly
             ,
             they
             doe
             but
             make
             Asses
             and
             Coxecombes
             of
             them
             ,
             and
             laugh
             at
             them
             behinde
             their
             backs
             ,
             and
             bragge
             to
             their
             companions
             ,
             that
             they
             can
             perswade
             their
             wives
             to
             any
             thing
             ;
             and
             
             tell
             them
             a
             tale
             of
             a
             Tub
             ,
             and
             make
             them
             beleeve
             any
             thing
             as
             they
             say
             to
             bee
             true
             :
             Therefore
             judge
             you
             now
             ,
             Hussy
             ,
             whether
             I
             doe
             not
             deserve
             praise
             for
             this
             daies
             worke
             yea
             or
             no.
             
          
        
         
           
             On
             Skimmingtons
             love
             to
             her
             Neighbours
             .
          
           
             Skimmington
             with
             more
             than
             a
             common
             love
             ,
          
           
             Her
             neighbours
             ease
             ,
             and
             honour
             doth
             promote
             :
          
           
             By
             common
             fame
             this
             case
             we
             plainly
             prove
             .
          
           
             For
             oft
             he
             rides
             ,
             that
             else
             would
             goe
             on
             foote
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             discreet
             and
             modest
             wives
             directions
             to
             her
             husband
             ,
             who
             was
             an
             Aldermans
             Deputy
             ,
             and
             a
             Common-counsell-man
             ,
             for
             keeping
             ill
             company
             .
          
           
             DEare
             and
             loving
             husband
             ,
             I
             have
             long
             time
             beheld
             your
             uncivill
             carriage
             ,
             and
             past
             it
             over
             with
             modesty
             and
             silence
             :
             when
             the
             wine
             hath
             got
             possession
             of
             the
             chiefest
             part
             of
             man
             ,
             I
             meane
             the
             
             braine
             ,
             that
             then
             you
             are
             not
             your
             own
             keeper
             ,
             nor
             have
             power
             neither
             of
             your
             words
             or
             actions
             ;
             I
             know
             very
             well
             ,
             that
             you
             are
             a
             man
             ,
             that
             (
             when
             you
             are
             not
             intoxicated
             )
             is
             sensible
             and
             understanding
             enough
             in
             many
             worldly
             affaires
             ,
             and
             know
             how
             to
             behave
             your selfe
             in
             all
             companies
             whatsoever
             :
             you
             have
             a
             good
             voluable
             tongue
             of
             your
             owne
             ,
             and
             can
             tell
             how
             to
             order
             or
             arbitrate
             any
             difference
             or
             matter
             of
             consequence
             when
             you
             are
             requested
             thereto
             ;
             but
             when
             you
             are
             in
             this
             veine
             of
             drinking
             ,
             
             you
             are
             not
             then
             the
             same
             man
             for
             sobriety
             that
             the
             whole
             City
             and
             parish
             where
             you
             dwell
             takes
             you
             to
             be
             :
             you
             know
             your
             owne
             discretion
             ,
             but
             you
             doe
             not
             know
             your
             owne
             indiscretion
             :
             for
             words
             without
             good
             effects
             ,
             is
             like
             a
             great
             water
             which
             drowneth
             the
             people
             ,
             and
             doth
             it selfe
             no
             profit
             ;
             so
             you
             that
             will
             punish
             others
             for
             being
             drunke
             ,
             and
             make
             them
             pay
             a
             Fee
             to
             the
             poore
             ,
             are
             in
             like
             case
             not
             to
             bee
             borne
             withall
             :
             for
             hee
             that
             passeth
             measure
             in
             drinking
             ;
             is
             no
             more
             master
             of
             his
             
             owne
             thoughts
             ,
             or
             of
             his
             tongue
             ;
             and
             without
             shame
             he
             speaketh
             of
             all
             dishonest
             things
             ,
             and
             such
             as
             are
             unseemely
             :
             and
             in
             this
             case
             a
             man
             becommeth
             a
             Child
             :
             it
             is
             a
             thing
             of
             exceeding
             great
             difficulty
             ,
             for
             a
             man
             to
             conceale
             and
             hide
             his
             owne
             ignorance
             :
             but
             much
             more
             difficult
             it
             is
             for
             a
             man
             to
             conceale
             any
             thing
             when
             hee
             hath
             drunke
             well
             :
             you
             must
             not
             be
             too
             forward
             to
             speake
             in
             the
             Vestry
             when
             you
             have
             bin
             a
             drinking
             store
             of
             wine
             ,
             for
             then
             you
             lispe
             ,
             and
             clip
             the
             Kings
             English
             ;
             
             for
             at
             that
             time
             every
             man
             takes
             notice
             of
             your
             weaknesse
             ,
             for
             then
             you
             make
             that
             little
             member
             your
             tongue
             the
             discoverer
             of
             your
             owne
             folly
             ;
             for
             when
             you
             have
             spoken
             ,
             the
             words
             that
             you
             have
             utter'd
             and
             deliver'd
             ,
             are
             no
             longer
             yours
             ,
             but
             those
             that
             observe
             them
             ;
             nor
             are
             they
             left
             to
             your
             construction
             and
             meaning
             ,
             though
             you
             thinke
             no
             harme
             ,
             but
             to
             their
             interpretation
             that
             heare
             them
             :
             Good
             speeches
             are
             the
             image
             of
             the
             minde
             ;
             therefore
             the
             temperance
             of
             the
             tongue
             and
             
             silence
             ought
             to
             be
             great
             ,
             and
             men
             ought
             to
             use
             and
             imploy
             their
             eares
             oftner
             than
             their
             tongues
             :
             therefore
             my
             good
             husband
             ,
             observe
             but
             this
             ,
             that
             it
             is
             not
             good
             to
             bee
             too
             prompt
             and
             forwards
             in
             speaking
             ,
             unlesse
             you
             be
             called
             to
             it
             :
             my
             reason
             is
             ,
             because
             many
             words
             and
             much
             speech
             ,
             is
             an
             apparant
             signe
             of
             folly
             ;
             for
             neither
             words
             nor
             winde
             will
             fill
             a
             Bushell
             .
             I
             have
             observed
             it
             divers
             times
             ,
             and
             I
             have
             much
             mused
             ,
             that
             when
             you
             have
             drunk
             a
             cup
             of
             strong
             Beere
             in
             the
             morning
             next
             your
             
             heart
             ,
             that
             you
             have
             shaked
             your
             head
             ,
             and
             made
             a
             sowre
             face
             :
             when
             you
             have
             had
             it
             in
             your
             stomacke
             ;
             you
             have
             said
             that
             it
             made
             you
             heart-burn'd
             ,
             and
             it
             is
             nothing
             else
             but
             your
             drinking
             of
             Wine
             that
             doth
             so
             inflame
             your
             stomacke
             ,
             that
             if
             you
             doe
             drinke
             any
             other
             cooler
             liquor
             ,
             then
             it
             qualifies
             the
             former
             heate
             ,
             and
             washes
             and
             cleanses
             the
             slime
             from
             off
             your
             stomacke
             ,
             which
             makes
             it
             as
             it
             were
             raw
             and
             hear-burning
             ,
             so
             that
             nothing
             will
             agree
             with
             your
             stomacke
             ,
             but
             wine
             ;
             and
             I
             have
             noted
             
             it
             ,
             that
             it
             meales
             you
             are
             sicke
             ,
             and
             cannot
             digest
             your
             meate
             ,
             unlesse
             you
             drinke
             some
             wine
             every
             meale
             ,
             and
             this
             is
             nothing
             but
             custome
             and
             ill
             Company
             that
             hath
             brought
             this
             desire
             of
             drinking
             wine
             upon
             you
             .
             At
             any
             time
             when
             you
             are
             in
             this
             case
             ,
             you
             have
             no
             power
             of
             your selfe
             ,
             but
             the
             wine
             makes
             you
             its
             slave
             and
             servant
             ,
             to
             doe
             ,
             and
             worke
             what
             it
             lists
             in
             your
             braine
             :
             it
             may
             perchance
             so
             intoxicate
             your
             sences
             ,
             that
             you
             may
             receive
             such
             an
             injury
             ,
             or
             doe
             such
             an
             accident
             ,
             that
             
             you
             may
             repent
             for
             it
             all
             the
             daies
             of
             your
             life
             :
             when
             you
             have
             drunke
             so
             much
             what
             good
             doth
             it
             you
             ?
             it
             makes
             you
             uncapable
             of
             any
             thing
             ,
             unlesse
             of
             quarrelling
             ,
             and
             gaming
             ;
             and
             too
             much
             Wine
             doth
             provoke
             lust
             ,
             and
             when
             that
             abounds
             ,
             then
             some
             ill
             act
             of
             incontinencie
             followes
             ;
             for
             there
             is
             nothing
             in
             man
             more
             able
             to
             make
             him
             lose
             his
             humanitie
             with
             more
             facilitie
             ,
             than
             by
             his
             tongue
             ,
             and
             too
             much
             Wine
             :
             Wine
             is
             the
             Rats-bane
             of
             our
             land
             ,
             and
             I
             am
             fully
             perswaded
             that
             
             more
             dye
             by
             surfeits
             of
             Wine
             ,
             than
             by
             the
             sword
             ,
             or
             any
             other
             disease
             :
             where
             have
             there
             beene
             more
             hurts
             and
             injuries
             done
             ,
             than
             by
             Wine
             ?
             for
             that
             is
             the
             chiefe
             cause
             and
             ground
             of
             all
             desperate
             attempts
             and
             quarrels
             ,
             for
             when
             the
             Wine
             is
             in
             ,
             the
             wit
             is
             out
             :
             for
             the
             excesse
             of
             Wine
             bringeth
             forth
             three
             sorts
             of
             Grapes
             ,
             the
             first
             of
             pleasure
             ,
             the
             second
             of
             drunkenesse
             ,
             and
             the
             third
             of
             sorrow
             :
             One
             thing
             more
             ,
             my
             sweete-heart
             ,
             and
             I
             have
             done
             ;
             you
             know
             I
             never
             twitted
             you
             in
             the
             
             teeth
             ,
             as
             some
             women
             do
             ,
             the
             next
             day
             ,
             for
             your
             being
             late
             abroad
             ;
             and
             come
             home
             so
             ,
             that
             you
             have
             not
             beene
             able
             to
             helpe
             your selfe
             ;
             and
             have
             forgotten
             the
             next
             morning
             when
             you
             have
             beene
             recovered
             ,
             to
             pay
             the
             tribute
             you
             owne
             to
             mee
             by
             Wedlocke
             :
             I
             have
             beene
             content
             and
             said
             nothing
             ,
             and
             put
             up
             al
             with
             silence
             ,
             for
             silence
             is
             a
             gift
             without
             danger
             or
             perill
             :
             but
             indeede
             husband
             ,
             I
             must
             ingeniously
             confesse
             ,
             I
             have
             paid
             it
             with
             thinking
             :
             I
             have
             read
             ,
             that
             it
             is
             a
             rare
             vertue
             to
             know
             
             how
             ,
             and
             when
             to
             bee
             silent
             :
             I
             never
             repented
             me
             to
             have
             held
             my
             tongue
             ,
             but
             I
             have
             oftentimes
             bin
             sorry
             that
             I
             have
             spoken
             :
             just
             like
             as
             narrow
             mouthed
             vessels
             which
             are
             longest
             in
             filling
             ,
             keepe
             their
             liquor
             the
             better
             :
             so
             are
             womens
             tongues
             that
             are
             slow
             in
             talking
             ,
             get
             the
             most
             credit
             and
             commendations
             :
             for
             all
             ,
             or
             most
             men
             know
             ,
             that
             empty
             vessells
             make
             the
             greatest
             sound
             :
             so
             they
             that
             have
             the
             emptiest
             Scull
             ,
             and
             the
             least
             wit
             ,
             are
             the
             greatest
             bablers
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             an
             Informers
             wife
             to
             her
             Husband
             .
          
           
             SIrrah
             ,
             you
             are
             a
             very
             Rascall
             ,
             I
             will
             set
             you
             out
             to
             the
             ful
             ,
             I
             will
             make
             all
             thy
             friends
             ashamed
             of
             thee
             :
             I
             will
             give
             them
             to
             understand
             ,
             that
             they
             may
             know
             as
             well
             as
             my selfe
             ,
             when
             thou
             hast
             mony
             ,
             and
             when
             thou
             hast
             none
             :
             for
             you
             know
             you
             have
             but
             two
             Cloaks
             ,
             one
             of
             Stuffe
             ,
             the
             other
             of
             Cloth
             ,
             and
             when
             you
             
             have
             one
             at
             home
             ,
             or
             on
             your
             backe
             ,
             the
             other
             is
             commonly
             at
             pawn
             at
             the
             Brokers
             :
             thou
             hast
             no
             mony
             ,
             but
             what
             thou
             gettest
             by
             shirking
             and
             rooking
             when
             men
             are
             drunke
             ;
             or
             else
             thou
             keepest
             stakes
             while
             men
             are
             at
             some
             game
             or
             other
             ,
             and
             then
             the
             whilst
             they
             are
             at
             their
             sport
             thou
             runnest
             quite
             away
             :
             when
             thou
             dost
             weare
             thy
             stuffe
             Cloake
             in
             winter
             ,
             or
             on
             a
             rainy
             day
             ,
             then
             may
             thy
             companions
             know
             thou
             hast
             no
             mony
             ,
             nor
             canst
             redeeme
             thy
             cloth
             Cloak
             :
             then
             in
             the
             Summer
             time
             ,
             
             when
             thou
             dost
             weare
             thy
             Cloth
             Cloake
             ,
             it
             is
             the
             very
             same
             case
             with
             thee
             ;
             in
             Dock
             ,
             out
             Nettle
             ;
             while
             one
             is
             at
             home
             ,
             the
             other
             is
             in
             Lavender
             in
             Long-lane
             .
             Thou
             mightest
             have
             beene
             ashamed
             to
             have
             left
             thy
             honest
             Trade
             and
             profession
             of
             being
             a
             Tailer
             ,
             onely
             to
             live
             idly
             ,
             and
             walke
             up
             and
             downe
             streetes
             and
             turne
             knave
             for
             a
             groat
             a
             day
             :
             I
             will
             imblazon
             you
             name
             for
             you
             ;
             you
             are
             an
             Asse
             ,
             a
             Shirke
             ,
             a
             Rooke
             ,
             a
             Decoy
             ,
             a
             Buffoon
             ,
             a
             white
             Liver'd
             slave
             :
             You
             can
             talke
             and
             domineere
             at
             home
             when
             
             you
             are
             in
             your
             Cups
             ,
             like
             a
             Lion
             ,
             but
             abroad
             amongst
             your
             companions
             you
             seeme
             to
             bee
             as
             meeke
             as
             a
             Lambe
             :
             but
             indeede
             you
             are
             a
             meere
             Sheepes
             head
             ,
             or
             rather
             a
             Rams
             head
             in
             a
             Wolfes
             Skinne
             :
             a
             flye
             youth
             ,
             a
             jeering
             double-lookt
             cōpanion
             :
             thy
             Father
             was
             an
             Animall
             ,
             and
             thy
             mother
             some
             lazy
             droane
             ,
             and
             thou
             thy selfe
             must
             needes
             bee
             of
             Brocklyes
             Breede
             ,
             better
             to
             hang
             than
             to
             feede
             ;
             when
             you
             come
             home
             ,
             you
             sit
             before
             me
             like
             Hum
             Drum
             ,
             or
             like
             the
             Cat
             in
             the
             Cupboord
             ;
             
             and
             when
             you
             are
             abroad
             ,
             and
             almost
             drunk
             ,
             then
             you
             beginne
             to
             shew
             your
             mad
             tricks
             ;
             then
             no
             ground
             will
             hold
             you
             ,
             leaping
             over
             Tables
             and
             stooles
             ,
             or
             any
             thing
             that
             is
             in
             your
             way
             ,
             but
             I
             hope
             you
             will
             one
             day
             breake
             your
             necke
             ;
             and
             if
             you
             do
             so
             ,
             y
             faith
             I
             will
             then
             have
             my
             owne
             will
             ,
             and
             goe
             to
             bed
             Mistresse
             ,
             and
             rise
             againe
             Master
             ;
             the
             next
             husband
             that
             I
             have
             shall
             find
             it
             so
             I
             le
             warrant
             him
             :
             And
             when
             thou
             goest
             to
             be
             buried
             ,
             I
             will
             not
             shed
             a
             teare
             for
             thee
             ,
             thou
             hast
             so
             hardned
             my
             heart
             against
             
             thee
             now
             in
             thy
             life
             time
             :
             I
             doe
             thinke
             in
             my
             conscience
             ,
             my
             heart
             is
             grown
             so
             hard
             as
             thy
             fore-head
             ;
             and
             I
             thinke
             I
             have
             shed
             so
             many
             teares
             by
             thy
             meanes
             ,
             that
             I
             can
             weepe
             no
             more
             ,
             unlesse
             I
             get
             a
             good
             sharpe
             Onion
             in
             my
             handkerchiefe
             ,
             and
             so
             force
             some
             teares
             from
             me
             for
             fashion
             sake
             :
             And
             then
             I
             will
             hire
             some
             poor
             condition'd
             Poet
             or
             other
             to
             make
             an
             Epitaph
             on
             thee
             ,
             as
             they
             have
             done
             on
             some
             of
             thy
             fellowes
             which
             are
             dead
             already
             ,
             as
             thou
             maist
             plainly
             see
             and
             read
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             On
             an
             Informer
             who
             dyed
             for
             want
             of
             imployment
             .
          
           
             
               On
               Munday
               morning
               hee
               with
               sorrow
               dy'd
               ,
            
             
               Because
               on
               Sunday
               no
               abuse
               he
               spy'd
               :
            
             
               For
               thogh
               he
               oft
               took
               bribes
               death
               none
               would
               take
               ,
            
             
               Now
               here
               he
               lies
               ,
               ready
               to
               stinke
               at
               the
               stake
               .
            
          
           
             
               Let
               Tapsters
               rejoyce
               ,
               and
               sing
               merry
               Catches
               ,
            
             
               For
               the
               Informer
               here
               is
               in
               a
               dead
               sleepe
               laid
               :
            
             
               What
               of
               all
               that
               ,
               both
               good
               and
               bad
               have
               matches
               ,
            
             
             
               Though
               he
               be
               gone
               there
               is
               more
               left
               of
               his
               trade
               :
            
             
               It
               was
               but
               a
               mony
               matter
               ,
               so
               it
               is
               still
               ,
            
             
               Twelve
               pence
               a
               quarter
               ,
               use
               what
               pots
               you
               will.
               
            
          
        
         
           
             A
             Lecture
             of
             a
             Country-mans
             wife
             ,
             who
             was
             a
             Gentlemans
             Baily
             in
             the
             Country
             .
          
           
             SIrrah
             ,
             I
             doe
             know
             something
             of
             you
             ,
             that
             now
             I
             will
             tell
             ,
             and
             make
             knowne
             to
             the
             whole
             Country
             ,
             seeing
             you
             have
             
             so
             angred
             me
             ,
             and
             wil
             not
             let
             me
             have
             my
             will
             ,
             I
             will
             not
             forbeare
             to
             speak
             that
             ,
             which
             shal
             make
             you
             loose
             your
             Office
             of
             a
             Baily
             ,
             and
             make
             you
             be
             whipped
             through
             the
             Towne
             at
             a
             horse
             Taile
             :
             you
             understand
             me
             ,
             sirrah
             ,
             you
             Rascall
             ,
             doe
             you
             not
             ?
             Now
             you
             stand
             as
             though
             Butter
             would
             not
             melt
             in
             your
             Mouth
             ,
             and
             give
             never
             a
             word
             :
             I
             will
             so
             nettle
             you
             ,
             that
             you
             had
             better
             wished
             you
             had
             laine
             at
             Nettle-bed
             all
             night
             :
             doe
             you
             remember
             how
             you
             rise
             in
             a
             Summer
             morning
             before
             day
             peepe
             ,
             on
             
             purpose
             to
             intise
             your
             neighbours
             hogges
             into
             your
             liberty
             ,
             by
             carrying
             a
             few
             Beanes
             or
             Pease
             in
             your
             hat
             ,
             and
             but
             letting
             the
             poore
             creatures
             smell
             on
             them
             ,
             they
             presently
             follow
             you
             into
             your
             liberty
             ;
             and
             then
             you
             pound
             them
             ,
             and
             by
             this
             meanes
             you
             get
             your
             fees
             ,
             and
             make
             your selfe
             rich
             .
          
           
             
               Husb.
               
            
             
               I
               prethee
               good
               Wife
               hold
               thy
               peace
               ,
               and
               thou
               shalt
               have
               any
               thing
               that
               thou
               hast
               a
               desire
               unto
               ;
               name
               it
               ,
               and
               here
               is
               money
               to
               pay
               for
               it
               .
            
          
           
             
               Wife
               .
            
             
               Sirrah
               ,
               it
               is
               now
               
               too
               late
               ,
               you
               shall
               not
               thinke
               to
               make
               mee
               hold
               my
               tongue
               ;
               I
               care
               not
               for
               your
               proffers
               now
               :
               I
               will
               make
               the
               whole
               towne
               acquainted
               with
               your
               knavery
               :
               I
               will
               set
               you
               out
               in
               your
               colours
               ;
               for
               you
               live
               by
               bribery
               and
               extortion
               ,
               not
               doing
               your
               Office
               as
               you
               ought
               ,
               and
               according
               to
               the
               oath
               you
               have
               tooke
               ,
               but
               live
               by
               rooking
               ,
               and
               cheating
               ,
               and
               couzning
               of
               poore
               people
               .
            
          
           
             
               Husb.
               
            
             
               I
               prethee
               good
               Doll
               hold
               thy
               peace
               ,
               thou
               hast
               too
               much
               tongue
               ;
               sure
               thou
               wert
               borne
               in
               a
               
               Mill
               ,
               thy
               tongue
               is
               so
               loud
               and
               shrill
               :
               I
               did
               heare
               before
               wee
               were
               marryed
               that
               thou
               wouldest
               prove
               a
               scold
               ,
               and
               that
               you
               had
               ever
               a
               shrewes
               tongue
               in
               your
               mouth
               ,
               but
               I
               would
               never
               beleeve
               it
               ,
               but
               now
               I
               finde
               it
               too
               true
               .
            
          
           
             
               Wife
               .
            
             
               Marry
               ,
               a
               woman
               had
               neede
               to
               have
               two
               tongues
               that
               hath
               such
               a
               husband
               as
               I
               have
               ,
               that
               grumbles
               and
               mumbles
               at
               every
               peny
               I
               lay
               out
               upon
               my selfe
               :
               one
               tongue
               is
               too
               little
               to
               let
               you
               know
               how
               you
               use
               mee
               and
               likewise
               to
               tell
               you
               of
               the
               other
               side
               of
               your
               
               base
               conditions
               ;
               for
               you
               abuse
               the
               whole
               Country
               ,
               and
               the
               Gentleman
               you
               serve
               :
               you
               heard
               I
               was
               a
               shrew
               ,
               I
               had
               better
               bee
               so
               than
               mealy-mouth'd
               ,
               for
               then
               you
               would
               make
               a
               right
               foole
               of
               me
               ,
               a
               meere
               Asse
               ,
               and
               beare
               all
               the
               burthen
               ,
               while
               you
               goe
               up
               and
               downe
               from
               Ale-house
               to
               Ale-house
               ,
               to
               defraud
               your
               Master
               of
               his
               Wesses
               and
               Straies
               ,
               and
               put
               up
               the
               money
               in
               your
               owne
               Pocket
               :
               but
               I
               will
               say
               no
               more
               to
               you
               ,
               but
               I
               le
               goe
               and
               tell
               the
               Major
               of
               the
               Towne
               ,
               and
               hee
               shall
               call
               you
               in
               
               question
               ,
               and
               I
               will
               bear
               witnesse
               against
               thee
               my selfe
               .
            
          
           
             
               Husb.
               
            
             
               When
               I
               was
               a
               Batchellour
               I
               onely
               lookt
               to
               my
               horse
               &
               my
               saddle
               :
            
             
               But
               now
               I
               am
               a
               marriman
               ,
               I
               have
               got
               a
               scould
               ,
               a
               childe
               ,
               and
               a
               Cradle
               .
            
             
               Oh
               ,
               that
               I
               were
               unmarryed
               againe
               :
               some
               men
               get
               good
               wives
               ,
               and
               mony
               to
               boote
               ,
               but
               I
               neither
               got
               money
               ,
               nor
               yet
               a
               good
               wife
               ,
               onely
               discord
               and
               dissention
               ,
               and
               in
               stead
               of
               Lord
               and
               Master
               she
               calls
               me
               rogue
               and
               Rascall
               :
               therefore
               I
               must
               bee
               content
               ,
               and
               
               beare
               my
               crosse
               patiently
               ;
               knowing
               that
               it
               is
               better
               for
               me
               ,
               and
               all
               men
               else
               ,
               to
               overcome
               a
               crosse
               wife
               by
               prudence
               than
               by
               force
               .
               And
               therefore
               let
               no
               man
               when
               he
               seeks
               for
               a
               wife
               ,
               aske
               ,
               What
               hath
               shee
               ,
               but
               what
               is
               shee
               ;
               for
               vertue
               and
               quietnesse
               is
               wealth
               enough
               ,
               and
               better
               than
               riches
               and
               greatnesse
               :
               for
               an
               inequality
               of
               birth
               or
               riches
               ,
               doth
               often
               cause
               strife
               and
               dissention
               .
            
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             Brokers
             wife
             to
             her
             Husband
             .
          
           
             OVt
             tho
             unconscionable
             villaine
             ,
             as
             I
             am
             an
             honest
             woman
             :
             there
             is
             not
             such
             another
             Iew
             in
             the
             City
             of
             Malta
             ;
             thirty
             in
             the
             hundred
             will
             not
             serve
             your
             unsatiable
             covetous
             desire
             ,
             but
             you
             must
             take
             threescore
             at
             the
             least
             ,
             and
             sweare
             you
             can
             hardly
             live
             on
             it
             .
             The
             name
             of
             Broker
             was
             well
             given
             to
             you
             :
             for
             you
             were
             Broak
             before
             you
             set
             
             up
             ;
             and
             Curs
             for
             biting
             so
             hard
             ,
             ever
             since
             you
             set
             up
             :
             Now
             you
             scorne
             to
             bee
             called
             Brokers
             ,
             but
             you
             must
             have
             a
             new
             name
             given
             you
             with
             a
             Murraine
             to
             you
             :
             you
             must
             now
             be
             called
             Fibbers
             ,
             and
             one
             that
             deales
             in
             whole-sale
             :
             You
             take
             no
             pawnes
             you
             say
             ,
             when
             all
             thy
             living
             is
             by
             extortion
             ,
             and
             nothing
             else
             but
             by
             taking
             pledges
             and
             pawnes
             ,
             I
             will
             make
             it
             good
             thou
             art
             a
             Broker
             ,
             though
             thou
             maist
             tearme
             thy selfe
             what
             thou
             pleasest
             :
             thou
             wast
             first
             an
             Adamite
             ,
             thou
             know'st
             what
             I
             meane
             ,
             A
             
             gentleman
             Tayler
             ;
             then
             by
             chance
             you
             eate
             a
             Spider
             ,
             and
             flew
             up
             with
             Iacksons
             hens
             ,
             and
             not
             worth
             a
             groat
             ;
             and
             now
             you
             have
             got
             a
             few
             cloathes
             which
             came
             out
             of
             rogue
             Lane
             ,
             that
             dropt
             out
             of
             the
             hang-mans
             wardrobe
             ,
             that
             what
             with
             selling
             ,
             and
             lending
             upon
             pawnes
             ,
             you
             now
             get
             the
             Divell
             and
             all
             ;
             I
             will
             discover
             your
             villany
             ,
             you
             drunken
             Asse
             you
             :
             I
             will
             make
             you
             staie
             at
             home
             ,
             or
             else
             I
             will
             know
             why
             I
             shall
             not
             :
             You
             lye
             upon
             the
             lurch
             to
             buy
             stolne
             goods
             ,
             and
             receive
             them
             
             into
             your
             house
             at
             midnight
             ,
             and
             then
             bid
             not
             halfe
             the
             worth
             of
             them
             ;
             and
             if
             you
             cannot
             get
             them
             at
             your
             owne
             rate
             or
             price
             ,
             you
             will
             make
             the
             party
             beleeve
             you
             will
             send
             for
             the
             Constable
             ,
             and
             apprehend
             him
             for
             suspition
             of
             Felonie
             ;
             and
             thus
             by
             shirking
             and
             cheating
             you
             get
             your
             estate
             ;
             and
             if
             you
             get
             the
             commodity
             of
             them
             at
             your
             owne
             rate
             ,
             then
             you
             will
             make
             much
             of
             them
             ,
             and
             will
             let
             them
             out
             at
             your
             backe
             doore
             ,
             that
             they
             may
             not
             be
             seen
             .
             Thou
             art
             a
             slave
             of
             the
             
             world
             ,
             and
             I
             wil
             have
             thee
             tost
             in
             a
             Blanket
             ;
             a
             meere
             Caterpiller
             of
             the
             earth
             :
             If
             thou
             tak'st
             a
             gowne
             of
             any
             value
             to
             pawne
             ,
             thou
             wilt
             be
             sure
             to
             geld
             it
             before
             it
             goe
             away
             from
             thee
             :
             If
             it
             be
             a
             Sattin
             Peticoate
             laid
             with
             silver
             or
             gold
             lace
             ,
             thou
             wilt
             picke
             the
             Spangles
             from
             off
             it
             ,
             or
             else
             steale
             a
             breadth
             ,
             or
             at
             the
             least
             halfe
             a
             breadth
             out
             of
             it
             ;
             and
             if
             it
             be
             questioned
             ,
             then
             thou
             wilt
             forsweare
             it
             ,
             and
             lie
             abhominable
             ;
             therfore
             I
             think
             thou
             art
             a
             limbe
             of
             some
             evill
             spirit
             ,
             or
             else
             the
             Divell
             got
             thee
             in
             spight
             ,
             
             and
             brought
             thee
             up
             in
             shame
             ever
             since
             ;
             thou
             hast
             such
             dissembling
             Tricks
             in
             thee
             ,
             no
             man
             hath
             the
             like
             ,
             I
             thinke
             ,
             that
             lives
             .
             Thy
             pedigree
             I
             have
             heard
             of
             ,
             thy
             Grandfather
             was
             a
             Rat-catcher
             ,
             and
             thy
             grandmother
             was
             a
             poore
             old
             woman
             that
             cryed
             Small-coale
             a
             peny
             a
             pecke
             up
             and
             downe
             the
             streete
             :
             and
             I
             doe
             thinke
             thy
             mother
             was
             some
             oister-wife
             ,
             and
             thy
             father
             a
             Chimnie
             sweeper
             ,
             thou
             hast
             such
             base
             conditions
             in
             thee
             ;
             thou
             art
             a
             scoundrell
             ,
             beetell-browd
             ,
             and
             a
             ramme-headed
             
             fellow
             :
             there
             is
             a
             bob
             for
             your
             sirrah
             .
          
           
             
               Husb.
               
            
             
               Good
               wife
               forbeare
               now
               ,
               and
               speake
               no
               more
               at
               this
               time
               ;
               you
               see
               I
               give
               yon
               leave
               to
               say
               any
               thing
               ;
               come
               ,
               let
               thee
               and
               I
               be
               friends
               ,
               let
               me
               kisse
               thee
               .
            
          
           
             
               Wife
               .
            
             
               And
               are
               you
               growne
               so
               kinde
               just
               now
               ?
               if
               you
               must
               needes
               kisse
               ,
               take
               me
               about
               the
               middle
               and
               kisse
               the
               heaviest
               end
               ;
               for
               you
               shall
               kisse
               no
               where
               else
               ;
               when
               you
               are
               drunke
               then
               any
               bodie
               you
               meete
               with
               is
               as
               good
               as
               your
               wife
               ,
               then
               you
               care
               not
               whom
               
               you
               kisse
               and
               imbrace
               :
               Sirrah
               ,
               I
               heare
               you
               are
               a
               Mutton
               monger
               ,
               and
               run
               after
               laced
               Mutton
               ;
               but
               I
               hope
               all
               your
               knavery
               one
               day
               will
               bee
               discovered
               ,
               though
               now
               you
               dance
               in
               a
               net
               :
               if
               you
               doe
               not
               use
               me
               better
               ,
               and
               as
               a
               man
               should
               use
               his
               wife
               ,
               I
               will
               have
               you
               indited
               at
               the
               Sessions
               for
               receiving
               of
               stolne
               goods
               :
               or
               else
               for
               some
               of
               your
               other
               base
               tricks
               ,
               I
               will
               make
               you
               looke
               through
               a
               two
               inch
               boord
               on
               a
               Market
               day
               .
            
          
           
             
               Husb.
               
            
             
               I
               prethee
               Sweet
               heart
               speake
               softly
               ,
               let
               me
               
               have
               no
               more
               of
               these
               words
               ;
               you
               may
               touch
               me
               so
               farre
               ,
               as
               to
               call
               my
               life
               in
               question
               ;
               you
               ought
               not
               to
               reveale
               your
               husbands
               secrets
               in
               any
               case
               ,
               especially
               those
               of
               such
               weight
               as
               this
               is
               :
               If
               I
               have
               bin
               in
               any
               fault
               ,
               I
               will
               labour
               to
               amend
               it
               ,
               and
               it
               shall
               be
               no
               more
               so
               .
            
          
           
             
               Wif.
               
            
             
               Live
               and
               learn
               then
               ,
               and
               at
               last
               be
               hanged
               ,
               and
               forget
               all
               ;
               you
               say
               now
               that
               you
               will
               doe
               no
               more
               of
               these
               base
               actions
               ,
               but
               to
               morrow
               I
               shall
               have
               you
               in
               the
               same
               condition
               againe
               :
               drunke
               all
               day
               at
               the
               Taverne
               ,
               &
               then
               come
               
               home
               like
               a
               hog
               all
               be
               mired
               with
               dirt
               ;
               and
               so
               what
               you
               get
               one
               way
               basely
               ,
               you
               spend
               the
               other
               way
               as
               scurvily
               :
               for
               mony
               gotten
               as
               you
               get
               it
               ,
               never
               will
               thrive
               .
            
          
           
             
               
                 The
                 husbands
                 wish
                 .
              
               
                 Bedlam
                 ,
                 God
                 blesse
                 thee
                 ,
              
               
                 Thou
                 wāts
                 nought
                 but
                 wit
                 ,
              
               
                 Which
                 being
                 got
                 ,
                 from
                 whipping
                 thou
                 art
                 quit
                 .
              
               
                 As
                 for
                 thee
                 Bridewell
                 ,
              
               
                 I
                 cannot
                 much
                 dispraise
                 thee
                 ,
              
               
                 For
                 thou
                 feedest
                 the
                 hungry
                 ,
              
               
                 And
                 dost
                 firke
                 the
                 lazy
                 .
              
               
                 And
                 for
                 thee
                 Newgate
                 ,
                 I
                 can
                 
                 not
                 much
                 complaine
              
               
                 For
                 once
                 a
                 month
                 thou
                 ridst
                 men
                 out
                 of
                 paine
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 But
                 from
                 a
                 wicked
                 womans
                 tongue
                 ,
                 God
                 defend
                 me
                 ,
              
               
                 To
                 Bedlam
                 ,
                 Newgate
                 ,
                 Bridewell
                 rather
                 send
                 me
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 For
                 there
                 in
                 time
                 Wit
                 ,
              
               
                 VVorke
                 ,
                 or
                 Law
                 sets
                 free
                 ,
              
               
                 But
                 from
                 a
                 womans
                 malice
                 ,
                 neither
                 wit
                 ,
                 worke
                 ,
                 nor
              
               
                 Law
                 gives
                 libertie
                 .
              
            
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             Lecture
             between
             a
             Pedler
             and
             his
             wife
             ,
             as
             they
             walked
             on
             the
             high
             way
             .
          
           
             
               1.
               
               Wife
               .
            
             
               HVsband
               ,
               what
               money
               hast
               thou
               in
               thy
               Purse
               ?
            
          
           
             
               2.
               
               Husb.
               
            
             
               Wife
               ,
               I
               have
               but
               a
               shilling
               ,
               two
               groats
               ,
               and
               three
               farthings
               ,
               and
               a
               good
               stocke
               too
               .
            
          
           
             
               3.
               
               Wife
               .
            
             
               You
               had
               twenty
               five
               shillings
               Husband
               ,
               what
               a
               Divell
               is
               become
               of
               it
               ?
            
          
           
             
               4.
               
               Husb.
               
            
             
               O
               wife
               I
               le
               tell
            
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             Cove
             and
             a
             Mort
             Whidling
             together
             as
             they
             budged
             upon
             the
             Pad
             .
          
           
             
               1.
               
               Cove
               .
            
             
               MOrt
               ,
               what
               lower
               hast
               thou
               in
               thy
               Bung
               ?
            
          
           
             
               2.
               
               Cove
               .
            
             
               I
               have
               a
               boord
               ,
               two
               stagges
               ,
               a
               Make
               ,
               and
               onejon
               ,
               and
               a
               rum
               stocke
               too
               .
            
          
           
             
               3.
               
               Cove
               .
            
             
               You
               had
               twenty
               five
               boord
               Cove
               ,
               what
               a
               Ruffin
               is
               budged
               with
               it
               ?
            
          
           
             
               4.
               
               Cove
               .
            
             
               O
               Mort
               ,
               I
               whid
               
               to
               thee
               :
               I
               went
               to
               the
               Ale-house
               ,
               and
               there
               I
               spent
               all
               my
               money
               amongst
               good
               fellowes
               ,
               and
               pretty
               wenches
               .
               But
               how
               shall
               we
               save
               this
               ,
               and
               get
               more
               ?
            
          
           
             
               5.
               
               Wife
               .
            
             
               I
               le
               tell
               thee
               thou
               shallow-braind
               fellow
               ,
               thou
               must
               beg
               at
               Farmers
               doores
               for
               Bread
               and
               Cheese
               ,
               or
               a
               Cup
               of
               small
               Beere
               ,
               or
               a
               Hens
               egge
               ,
               and
               speake
               boldly
               for
               it
               :
               and
               lye
               in
               some
               Barne
               upon
               straw
               all
               night
               ,
               and
               goe
               away
               early
               in
               the
               morning
               :
               And
               rather
               then
               want
               Meate
               ,
               or
               Drinke
               ,
               steales
               Hennes
               ,
               Duckes
               ,
               Geese
               ,
               or
               Capons
               :
               And
               if
               you
               see
               
               to
               thee
               :
               I
               budged
               to
               the
               bowsing
               Ken
               ,
               &
               there
               I
               bowsed
               all
               my
               lower
               amongst
               the
               Beane
               Coves
               ,
               and
               Doxes
               :
               But
               how
               shall
               we
               save
               this
               ,
               &
               get
               more
               ?
            
          
           
             
               5.
               
               Mort.
               
            
             
               I
               le
               tell
               thee
               queere
               Cove
               ,
               thou
               must
               maund
               at
               the
               Gigger
               for
               Pannum
               and
               Casum
               ,
               or
               a
               cheat
               of
               queere
               bowse
               ,
               or
               Kacklen
               Cheate
               ,
               and
               whid
               rumpsie
               ;
               and
               then
               lib
               in
               the
               Strummel
               ,
               al
               the
               darkmans
               ,
               and
               budge
               a
               beake
               in
               the
               light
               mans
               :
               and
               rather
               then
               want
               Rum-peck
               ,
               or
               Beane
               boose
               ,
               mill
               the
               Cacklers
               ,
               coy
               the
               Quack
               ,
               or
               Duds
               :
               and
               if
               you
               tower
               
               any
               sheets
               lie
               upon
               the
               hedge
               ,
               steale
               them
               and
               run
               away
               :
               If
               thou
               want
               mony
               ,
               then
               goe
               to
               the
               next
               market
               or
               faire
               ,
               and
               there
               picke
               a
               Pocke
               ,
               or
               cheate
               some
               Country-man
               ;
               and
               then
               goe
               to
               the
               Alehouse
               ,
               and
               drinke
               merrily
               and
               jovially
               :
               But
               husband
               be
               sure
               you
               save
               me
               some
               money
               when
               you
               are
               at
               the
               Alehouse
               .
            
          
           
             
               Husb.
               
            
             
               But
               doe
               you
               heare
               wife
               :
               what
               if
               I
               should
               bee
               taken
               in
               stealing
               of
               Hennes
               ,
               Ducks
               ,
               Geese
               ,
               or
               Capons
               ,
               or
               Cloathes
               ,
               or
               picking
               a
               Pocket
               ,
               and
               so
               bee
               carried
               to
               prison
               :
               wife
               what
               shall
               I
               then
               say
               ?
            
          
           
           
             any
             states
             lye
             upon
             the
             Cracke
             ,
             mill
             them
             ,
             and
             budge
             a
             beak
             :
             And
             if
             thou
             want
             lower
             ,
             budge
             to
             the
             next
             Vile
             ,
             and
             there
             nip
             a
             Bung
             ,
             or
             cloy
             a
             Culley
             ;
             then
             budge
             to
             the
             bowsing
             Ken
             ,
             and
             boose
             rumsie
             and
             beanely
             :
             but
             Cove
             be
             sure
             thou
             tip
             me
             some
             Lower
             ,
             when
             you
             budge
             backe
             from
             the
             Ken.
             
          
           
             
               6.
               
               Cove
               .
            
             
               But
               sto
               Mort
               :
               what
               if
               I
               should
               bee
               Cloyed
               in
               the
               milling
               of
               Cacklers
               ,
               Quacklers
               ,
               or
               Duds
               ,
               or
               nipping
               a
               Bung
               ,
               and
               so
               be
               cloyed
               ,
               &
               budged
               to
               the
               Naskin
               :
               Mort
               what
               shall
               I
               whid
               then
               ?
            
          
           
             
             
               7.
               
               Wife
               .
            
             
               Peace
               husband
               ,
               peace
               ,
               if
               you
               be
               carried
               to
               prison
               ,
               I
               will
               goe
               to
               our
               companions
               ,
               and
               speake
               to
               them
               for
               some
               mony
               to
               release
               thee
               out
               of
               prison
               :
               and
               then
               we
               'le
               goe
               to
               the
               next
               City
               ,
               where
               we
               may
               steale
               safely
               .
            
          
           
             
               8.
               
               Husb.
               
            
             
               Oh
               thou
               art
               a
               good
               wife
               ,
               and
               speakest
               bravely
               :
               I
               will
               venture
               an
               hanging
               before
               I
               will
               want
               mony
               ,
               meate
               ,
               or
               good
               drinke
               ,
               or
               cloathes
               for
               my
               Wife
               and
               Children
               :
               I
               care
               not
               for
               any
               Constable
               or
               Beadle
               ;
               nor
               doe
               I
               feare
               the
               whipping
               post
               .
            
          
           
             
             
               7.
               
               Mort.
               
            
             
               Sto
               Cove
               ,
               if
               thou
               budge
               to
               the
               Naskin
               ,
               I
               will
               bing
               to
               the
               Coves
               and
               the
               Morts
               ,
               and
               whid
               to
               them
               for
               Lower
               ,
               that
               thou
               maist
               budge
               out
               of
               the
               Naskin
               :
               and
               then
               budge
               into
               the
               Rum-vile
               ,
               where
               the
               Coves
               and
               the
               Morts
               do
               not
               tower
               us
               :
               &
               there
               we
               may
               cloy
               brinsy
               .
            
          
           
             
               8.
               
               Cove
               .
            
             
               As
               thou
               art
               a
               Beane
               Mort
               ,
               and
               whids
               rumpsie
               ,
               I
               will
               venture
               a
               training
               ,
               or
               a
               noosing
               ,
               '
               ere
               I
               will
               want
               Lower
               ,
               peckage
               ,
               beane
               bowse
               ,
               or
               duds
               for
               my
               Morts
               ,
               &
               my
               Kinchins
               .
               I
               doe
               not
               fear
               any
               Harmanbeck
               ,
               or
               Pug
               ,
               nor
               doe
               I
               care
               for
               Cly
               the
               Ierke
               .
            
          
        
         
           
           
             Of
             two
             young
             Virgins
             talking
             of
             their
             Sweet-hearts
             and
             Sueters
             .
          
           
             Two
             pretty
             young
             toward
             Girles
             ,
             newly
             come
             into
             their
             Teenes
             ,
             not
             Sisters
             ,
             but
             Neighbours
             Children
             ,
             and
             of
             acquaintance
             from
             their
             Cradles
             ,
             and
             no
             doubt
             but
             the
             forwardest
             Children
             their
             Father
             had
             :
             being
             one
             day
             invited
             (
             with
             their
             Parents
             )
             to
             a
             Feast
             :
             Dinner
             being
             done
             ,
             and
             
             the
             Guests
             being
             severally
             imployed
             ,
             either
             in
             discourse
             or
             other
             exercise
             of
             game
             or
             drinking
             ,
             they
             two
             retired
             themselves
             from
             the
             rest
             into
             the
             Garden
             ,
             and
             chusing
             out
             a
             private
             (
             but
             pleasant
             )
             walke
             ,
             they
             began
             their
             discourse
             as
             followeth
             :
          
           
             1.
             
             Maid
             .
             And
             I
             pray
             you
             how
             old
             are
             you
             ?
             Lord
             ,
             how
             are
             you
             grown
             of
             late
             since
             the
             last
             Quarter
             !
             Doe
             you
             weare
             no
             Corkes
             ,
             nor
             no
             Polonie-heeles
             ?
             why
             you
             shew
             as
             if
             you
             walk't
             upon
             chippeenes
             ,
             nay
             ,
             you
             grow
             not
             onely
             tall
             ,
             but
             proper
             
             withall
             ,
             so
             that
             me-thinks
             it
             is
             high
             time
             you
             look't
             after
             an
             Husband
             .
             The
             second
             made
             answer
             ,
             Ill
             weeds
             grow
             apace
             ,
             and
             for
             Husbands
             wee
             may
             looke
             long
             enough
             after
             them
             ,
             ere
             they
             will
             cast
             an
             eye
             upon
             us
             ,
             I
             meane
             any
             that
             are
             worth
             the
             having
             .
             But
             what
             a
             foole
             am
             I
             to
             speake
             us
             ,
             in
             the
             Plurall
             number
             ,
             that
             for
             ought
             I
             see
             ,
             shall
             be
             forc't
             to
             continue
             in
             the
             Singular
             whilst
             I
             live
             .
             Indeed
             said
             the
             other
             ,
             
               Ego
               &
               tu
            
             are
             more
             frequent
             than
             Nos
             and
             Vos
             amongst
             us
             Virgins
             :
             we
             may
             say
             ,
             A
             lacke
             
             the
             while
             ,
             for
             wee
             both
             know
             what
             is
             wanting
             ;
             for
             what
             doe
             wee
             all
             this
             while
             but
             loose
             time
             ,
             which
             might
             bee
             better
             imploy'd
             (
             I
             wis
             )
             than
             to
             dreame
             of
             shadows
             ,
             and
             never
             know
             what
             the
             substance
             meanes
             :
             it
             will
             bee
             long
             enough
             ere
             our
             Parents
             will
             provide
             for
             us
             ,
             therefore
             me-thinks
             it
             is
             time
             at
             these
             yeares
             that
             wee
             looke
             out
             for
             our selves
             .
             She
             reply'd
             ,
             and
             truely
             Sister
             I
             am
             of
             your
             minde
             ;
             but
             I
             pray
             you
             ,
             had
             you
             never
             any
             Suiters
             yet
             ?
             Suiters
             (
             answered
             shee
             )
             O
             yes
             ,
             but
             simple
             
             ones
             ,
             Heaven
             knowes
             :
             There
             comes
             to
             mee
             last
             day
             a
             dapper
             Tailer
             ,
             and
             would
             faine
             have
             beene
             doing
             ;
             hee
             would
             have
             tooke
             measure
             of
             mee
             before
             there
             was
             stuffe
             to
             make
             me
             a
             gowne
             ;
             a
             pretty
             little
             Hopper
             me
             thumb
             it
             was
             ,
             but
             I
             quickly
             gave
             him
             his
             answer
             ,
             having
             vow'd
             to
             make
             choice
             of
             a
             Man
             ,
             or
             never
             to
             marry
             .
             And
             then
             there
             was
             a
             sweete
             Youth
             ,
             a
             Comfet-maker
             ,
             that
             came
             to
             court
             me
             with
             a
             paper
             of
             Sugar-plummes
             ,
             but
             him
             I
             could
             not
             relish
             because
             of
             his
             rotten
             Teeth
             .
             And
             
             for
             a
             Scrivener
             ,
             there
             shall
             never
             any
             Indentures
             be
             drawne
             betwixt
             him
             and
             me
             drunke
             nor
             sober
             ,
             for
             in
             all
             his
             Leases
             (
             if
             you
             have
             observ'd
             it
             )
             where
             you
             shall
             once
             read
             
               Alwayes
               provided
            
             ,
             you
             shall
             finde
             at
             the
             least
             twenty
             times
             Notwithstanding
             :
             Nor
             I
             an
             Haberdasher
             of
             small
             wares
             said
             the
             other
             ;
             I
             will
             have
             one
             that
             deales
             by
             whole-sale
             ,
             or
             none
             .
          
           
             Another
             of
             my
             Sweet-hearts
             came
             to
             me
             the
             other
             day
             ,
             and
             said
             ,
             Sweete
             Mistris
             ,
             one
             word
             in
             your
             eare
             :
             Nay
             said
             I
             ,
             speake
             it
             openly
             ,
             I
             am
             not
             affraid
             
             of
             what
             you
             can
             say
             :
             no
             good
             sweet-heart
             said
             he
             ,
             let
             me
             tell
             it
             you
             privately
             ;
             then
             I
             gave
             him
             the
             hearing
             ,
             because
             I
             hoped
             the
             sooner
             to
             be
             rid
             of
             the
             fooles
             company
             :
             and
             what
             was
             it
             ,
             but
             hee
             told
             me
             ,
             he
             would
             tell
             me
             such
             a
             Tale
             in
             my
             eare
             that
             would
             doe
             mee
             good
             at
             the
             heart
             ,
             and
             what
             was
             it
             ,
             but
             of
             an
             old
             passage
             betweene
             Venus
             and
             Adonis
             ,
             and
             that
             was
             all
             he
             did
             :
             onely
             hee
             presented
             me
             with
             a
             Coppy
             of
             Verses
             ,
             and
             many
             Letters
             of
             Complements
             in
             writing
             ,
             which
             I
             tooke
             on
             
             purpose
             to
             laugh
             at
             ,
             and
             withall
             he
             intreated
             me
             to
             accept
             of
             them
             ,
             for
             they
             were
             of
             his
             owne
             invention
             .
             And
             when
             I
             had
             perused
             them
             ,
             I
             remember'd
             that
             I
             had
             read
             them
             in
             Print
             ,
             for
             hee
             stole
             them
             out
             of
             divers
             bookes
             of
             Complements
             on
             my
             knowledge
             ,
             thinking
             thereby
             that
             I
             should
             account
             him
             witty
             ,
             and
             the
             sooner
             to
             get
             my
             love
             :
             but
             I
             sent
             him
             away
             with
             such
             a
             flout
             ,
             that
             I
             think
             he
             will
             scarce
             come
             againe
             this
             Weeke
             :
             for
             in
             troth
             if
             ever
             I
             marry
             ,
             I
             'le
             have
             a
             proper
             man
             ,
             and
             one
             that
             
             I
             can
             fancy
             well
             ,
             or
             else
             I
             will
             never
             consent
             to
             wed
             .
             Introth
             Sister
             ,
             said
             the
             other
             ,
             I
             would
             I
             had
             never
             any
             one
             that
             did
             aske
             mee
             the
             question
             ;
             I
             doe
             think
             I
             was
             borne
             under
             an
             evill
             or
             melancholly
             Planet
             ,
             every
             one
             can
             get
             sweete-hearts
             but
             I
             :
             I
             am
             now
             sixteene
             yeares
             old
             ,
             it
             cost
             me
             a
             Groat
             to
             the
             Knave
             the
             Clarke
             for
             searching
             the
             Booke
             ;
             for
             my
             Father
             told
             mee
             that
             I
             was
             but
             fifteene
             yeares
             old
             ,
             but
             I
             found
             it
             that
             I
             was
             above
             sixteene
             yeares
             ,
             in
             troth
             I
             cannot
             lie
             any
             longer
             alone
             .
             I
             doe
             so
             bite
             the
             
             sheets
             ,
             and
             tosse
             up
             and
             downe
             in
             the
             bed
             like
             a
             Cat
             when
             shee
             is
             pinched
             by
             the
             taile
             .
             I
             have
             heard
             that
             in
             former
             times
             the
             Roman
             Law
             was
             ,
             that
             they
             did
             allow
             that
             a
             Man
             might
             marry
             at
             eighteene
             ,
             and
             a
             Maide
             at
             twelve
             yeares
             of
             age
             ,
             I
             would
             it
             were
             in
             use
             with
             us
             in
             our
             Countrey
             :
             But
             men
             now
             a
             daies
             are
             growne
             faint-hearted
             ,
             and
             dare
             not
             presume
             to
             aske
             the
             question
             ,
             but
             let
             Maids
             alone
             till
             wee
             pine
             ,
             and
             wrong
             our selves
             ,
             and
             make
             our
             moanes
             ,
             for
             women
             are
             not
             perfect
             without
             men
             ,
             
             though
             men
             are
             without
             women
             .
          
           
             Quest.
             But
             sister
             ,
             pray
             tell
             me
             ,
             what
             thinke
             you
             of
             a
             Grocer
             ?
             An.
             That
             as
             Hogges
             are
             frank't
             with
             Pease
             and
             Akornes
             ,
             so
             he
             would
             fat
             mee
             up
             with
             Figges
             and
             Raisons
             .
          
           
             Qu.
             What
             thinke
             you
             of
             a
             Fishmonger
             ?
             A.
             That
             of
             the
             contrary
             hee
             would
             make
             me
             as
             leane
             as
             Lent
             ,
             and
             looke
             all
             the
             yeare
             after
             with
             a
             Good
             Friday-face
             .
             Qu.
             What
             of
             a
             Goldsmith
             ?
             An.
             The
             Gold
             I
             like
             well
             ,
             but
             for
             the
             Smith
             ,
             I
             care
             not
             if
             hee
             were
             packt
             amongst
             the
             
             other
             mettall-men
             .
          
           
             Q.
             What
             then
             of
             a
             Jeweller
             ?
             An.
             Ey
             marry
             now
             you
             speake
             to
             some
             purpose
             ,
             for
             plaine
             dealing
             is
             a
             Jewell
             ,
             howsoever
             many
             a
             one
             that
             useth
             it
             ,
             may
             die
             a
             begger
             .
             Q.
             What
             of
             an
             Upholster
             ?
             A.
             That
             his
             Wife
             ,
             though
             she
             fare
             hard
             ,
             shall
             bee
             sure
             to
             lye
             soft
             ,
             and
             if
             shee
             be
             wise
             ,
             shee
             'l
             finde
             how
             to
             feather
             her
             Nest
             I
             warrant
             her
             .
          
           
             Qu.
             What
             thinke
             you
             of
             a
             Draper
             ?
             An.
             As
             of
             an
             honest
             conscionable
             man
             ,
             for
             they
             allow
             to
             every
             Yard
             the
             over-plus
             of
             London
             measure
             .
             Q.
             What
             
             of
             a
             Silke-man
             ?
             An.
             As
             of
             a
             Silke-worme
             ;
             if
             his
             Wife
             proove
             too
             fine
             for
             his
             finger
             ,
             he
             may
             say
             ,
             he
             hath
             spunne
             a
             faire
             thread
             ,
             and
             so
             he
             turne
             Butterfly
             ,
             and
             shee
             Spinster
             .
             Q.
             What
             of
             a
             Merchant
             ?
             An.
             Of
             Eele-skinnes
             doe
             you
             meane
             ?
             Q.
             No
             ,
             I
             meane
             the
             noble
             Trade
             of
             the
             Merchant
             adventurers
             .
             An.
             When
             hee
             goeth
             a
             wooing
             ,
             God
             send
             him
             good
             shipping
             ,
             and
             that
             his
             Vessell
             leake
             not
             betwixt
             Winde
             and
             Water
             .
             Qu.
             And
             what
             think
             you
             of
             a
             Clarke
             ?
             An.
             How
             ,
             of
             a
             Church
             ?
             Qu.
             No
             ,
             
             nor
             of
             a
             Chappel
             .
             A.
             Then
             I
             guesse
             your
             meaning
             ;
             I
             would
             not
             have
             a
             Clarke
             of
             the
             Chancery
             ,
             because
             he
             might
             trouble
             my
             conscience
             ;
             nor
             a
             Clarke
             of
             the
             Arches
             ,
             for
             he
             would
             rather
             make
             my
             will
             ,
             than
             give
             me
             my
             will
             :
             nor
             a
             Clarke
             of
             the
             Check-her
             ,
             for
             hee
             would
             be
             alwayes
             crossing
             me
             :
             but
             if
             any
             ,
             a
             Clarke
             of
             the
             peaces
             Clarke
             ,
             a
             Clarke
             of
             the
             Rolles
             ,
             or
             of
             the
             Pipe-office
             .
             At
             this
             the
             Guests
             came
             into
             the
             Garden
             ,
             and
             they
             were
             forc't
             to
             breake
             off
             their
             discourse
             .
          
        
         
           
           
             A
             new
             tricke
             to
             tame
             a
             Shrew
             .
          
           
             TWo
             nigh
             neighbours
             ,
             that
             had
             beene
             long
             brothers
             in
             affliction
             ,
             as
             being
             sicke
             of
             one
             disease
             ,
             had
             many
             times
             made
             complaints
             the
             one
             to
             the
             other
             (
             but
             all
             in
             vaine
             )
             of
             the
             churlish
             and
             crabbish
             disposition
             of
             their
             wives
             ,
             what
             Shrewes
             they
             were
             ,
             and
             themselves
             were
             made
             no
             better
             than
             Subjects
             to
             the
             
             Smock
             :
             but
             at
             the
             length
             ,
             one
             of
             them
             having
             the
             better
             Spirit
             ,
             vowed
             to
             himselfe
             that
             he
             would
             never
             give
             over
             the
             combate
             ,
             untill
             he
             had
             got
             the
             Conquest
             ;
             and
             so
             indeede
             it
             happened
             .
             After
             which
             ,
             spying
             his
             friend
             and
             neighbour
             in
             the
             fields
             a
             farre
             off
             ,
             he
             cryed
             unto
             him
             aloud
             ,
             
               Victory
               ,
               victory
            
             :
             the
             other
             not
             knowing
             what
             hee
             meant
             by
             it
             ,
             drew
             neare
             unto
             him
             ,
             and
             demanded
             of
             him
             the
             reason
             of
             that
             joyfull
             acclamation
             ?
             who
             told
             him
             ,
             that
             after
             many
             dangerous
             
             conflicts
             ,
             at
             length
             he
             was
             Conquerour
             :
             and
             Bold-face
             his
             wife
             ,
             was
             compeld
             to
             cease
             all
             claim
             to
             the
             breeches
             :
             which
             his
             friend
             would
             not
             beleeve
             ,
             till
             having
             fac'd
             it
             out
             with
             some
             small
             Oathes
             :
             who
             when
             hee
             had
             both
             heard
             ,
             and
             beleeved
             him
             ,
             he
             was
             desirous
             to
             know
             all
             the
             Circumstance
             :
             then
             he
             proceeded
             thus
             .
          
           
             Comming
             home
             somewhat
             late
             according
             to
             my
             custome
             ,
             my
             minion
             beganne
             to
             mander
             ;
             to
             which
             I
             said
             but
             little
             at
             first
             ;
             but
             note
             what
             
             followed
             after
             .
             When
             presuming
             on
             my
             wonted
             patience
             ,
             the
             Hen
             (
             forsooth
             beganne
             to
             Cackle
             ,
             and
             I
             set
             out
             a
             throate
             to
             crow
             ;
             and
             loud
             I
             was
             indeede
             ,
             and
             shee
             got
             no
             advantage
             on
             me
             that
             way
             :
             and
             not
             knowing
             whether
             I
             was
             in
             jest
             ,
             or
             earnest
             ,
             she
             scornfully
             smild
             upon
             me
             ,
             and
             cald
             me
             old
             Coxecombe
             :
             to
             which
             I
             answered
             ;
             Most
             surely
             if
             I
             have
             a
             Combe
             on
             my
             head
             ,
             I
             have
             Spurs
             on
             my
             heeles
             ;
             and
             still
             as
             shee
             spurd
             me
             a
             question
             ,
             I
             kickt
             her
             an
             answer
             .
          
           
           
             I
             like
             the
             beginning
             well
             (
             saith
             his
             neighbour
             )
             but
             the
             end
             tries
             all
             things
             :
             But
             I
             pray
             you
             tell
             mee
             ;
             did
             you
             not
             learne
             this
             at
             a
             play
             ?
             Who
             replyed
             ,
             a
             play
             ?
             I
             scorne
             it
             ;
             what
             I
             have
             done
             ,
             I
             found
             out
             by
             my
             owne
             practise
             ,
             and
             am
             able
             of
             my selfe
             to
             set
             out
             a
             Grammer
             with
             rules
             to
             prove
             ,
             that
             the
             Gray
             mare
             is
             no
             more
             the
             better
             horse
             .
          
           
             Well
             ,
             when
             she
             beganne
             to
             raile
             ,
             I
             fell
             to
             rage
             ,
             insomuch
             ,
             that
             any
             wise
             man
             would
             have
             thought
             us
             both
             mad
             ;
             and
             then
             
             shee
             said
             I
             was
             drunke
             ;
             but
             shee
             after
             found
             by
             proofe
             ,
             that
             what
             I
             did
             was
             in
             sober
             sadnesse
             ;
             and
             as
             shee
             skreekt
             out
             ,
             so
             still
             shee
             scratcht
             behind
             ,
             where
             I
             am
             sure
             it
             itch't
             not
             ,
             for
             I
             had
             applyed
             too
             much
             Arsmart
             already
             .
             Then
             I
             bade
             her
             come
             to
             bed
             ,
             who
             no
             sooner
             said
             she
             would
             not
             ,
             but
             I
             swore
             shee
             should
             not
             ,
             and
             withall
             lockt
             her
             out
             of
             the
             Chamber
             ,
             and
             there
             she
             lay
             all
             a
             cold
             frosty
             night
             on
             the
             bare
             boords
             ;
             I
             having
             before
             prickt
             her
             posteriours
             ,
             that
             she
             had
             as
             
             good
             to
             have
             laine
             upon
             Thornes
             .
          
           
             Then
             said
             his
             neighbour
             :
             but
             how
             could
             you
             have
             the
             heart
             to
             use
             her
             so
             hardly
             ?
             The
             heart
             (
             quoth
             hee
             )
             marry
             hang
             her
             Brocke
             ;
             being
             over
             shooes
             ,
             I
             car'd
             not
             to
             be
             over
             Bootes
             ;
             and
             once
             wet
             to
             the
             Ankles
             ,
             to
             wade
             up
             to
             the
             Chin
             :
             Vp
             I
             got
             in
             the
             Morning
             ,
             shee
             lay
             along
             in
             my
             way
             grunting
             and
             groaning
             ;
             when
             I
             making
             as
             if
             I
             had
             stumbled
             at
             a
             blocke
             ,
             gave
             her
             a
             sound
             spurnne
             upon
             the
             Buttocks
             ,
             and
             never
             cryed
             her
             mercy
             :
             
             O
             my
             
               what
               doe
               you
               call
               't
            
             ,
             said
             shee
             .
             What
             ailes
             Mistris
             Miniver
             ,
             quoth
             I.
             I
             am
             sicke
             and
             would
             have
             a
             Posser
             ,
             said
             shee
             .
             A
             Posset
             with
             a
             poxe
             to
             you
             ,
             said
             I
             ;
             you
             would
             have
             a
             Cawdle
             made
             of
             Calves
             Egges
             ,
             would
             you
             not
             ?
             Vp
             you
             lazy-bones
             ,
             wee
             shall
             have
             you
             fall
             into
             the
             scurvy
             ,
             and
             then
             there
             is
             no
             cure
             for
             you
             but
             a
             Cudgell
             .
          
           
             Next
             she
             cald
             her
             maid
             to
             fetch
             her
             some
             hot
             water
             :
             then
             I
             stept
             downe
             ,
             and
             finding
             a
             Kettle-full
             seething
             on
             the
             fire
             ,
             fild
             a
             Bowle
             ,
             and
             brought
             it
             
             up
             to
             her
             making
             her
             beleeve
             it
             was
             warme
             for
             her
             stomacke
             ,
             and
             if
             shee
             would
             not
             drinke
             it
             off
             ,
             I
             would
             powre
             it
             downe
             her
             bosome
             :
             That
             done
             ,
             I
             bid
             her
             get
             downe
             the
             staires
             ,
             or
             I
             would
             set
             her
             downe
             with
             her
             head
             first
             ,
             and
             her
             heeles
             after
             .
          
           
             But
             (
             said
             the
             other
             )
             had
             shee
             the
             patience
             to
             endure
             it
             ?
             Who
             answered
             ,
             yes
             ,
             patience
             perforce
             :
             such
             as
             debtors
             have
             ,
             to
             bee
             hurried
             to
             prison
             ,
             or
             theeves
             to
             bee
             drawne
             to
             the
             Gallowes
             :
             I
             had
             never
             begunne
             the
             
             worke
             ,
             but
             that
             I
             meant
             to
             goe
             through
             stich
             with
             it
             ;
             that
             morning
             I
             turnd
             away
             her
             madnesse
             ,
             and
             then
             she
             was
             no
             more
             a
             Mistresse
             ,
             which
             I
             knew
             vext
             her
             not
             a
             little
             ,
             and
             that
             which
             most
             angered
             her
             ,
             seemed
             but
             to
             please
             me
             :
             For
             I
             vow'd
             ,
             since
             shee
             would
             bee
             a
             Divell
             shee
             should
             be
             her
             owne
             drudge
             :
             yes
             ,
             and
             though
             his
             Damme
             said
             against
             it
             .
          
           
             Said
             his
             neighbour
             ,
             said
             shee
             nothing
             all
             this
             while
             ?
             had
             I
             us'd
             my
             wife
             so
             ,
             all
             the
             streete
             should
             have
             wrung
             ,
             as
             
             the
             bells
             of
             it
             ,
             for
             I
             am
             most
             sure
             shee
             hath
             as
             loud
             a
             Clapper
             .
             To
             which
             he
             answered
             ,
             what
             should
             any
             thing
             be
             spoke
             ,
             where
             nothing
             would
             be
             heard
             ?
             and
             that
             she
             knew
             well
             enough
             ;
             for
             I
             had
             drown'd
             her
             Cannon
             with
             my
             Thunder
             :
             But
             shee
             bent
             her
             Browes
             ,
             Glouted
             with
             her
             eyes
             ,
             first
             bit
             her
             lippes
             ,
             and
             then
             her
             Tongue
             ;
             sometimes
             offered
             her
             foote
             ,
             and
             then
             her
             sist
             ,
             but
             durst
             fall
             foule
             with
             neither
             ;
             If
             she
             had
             ,
             I
             threatned
             to
             bind
             her
             hand
             and
             foote
             and
             so
             leave
             her
             .
             Then
             I
             lockt
             
             up
             her
             Gownes
             ,
             least
             she
             should
             gadde
             abroad
             to
             complaine
             to
             her
             Gossips
             ;
             and
             the
             Divell
             a
             Cloth
             did
             I
             leave
             to
             put
             about
             her
             necke
             ,
             but
             a
             Dish-clout
             .
             Sometimes
             I
             set
             her
             to
             spinne
             ,
             till
             shee
             thought
             the
             world
             runne
             upon
             wheeles
             ,
             and
             made
             her
             say
             within
             her selfe
             ,
             (
             as
             shee
             hath
             since
             confest
             )
             I
             have
             spun
             a
             faire
             thread
             ,
             have
             I
             not
             ?
             I
             made
             her
             wash
             till
             shee
             was
             glad
             to
             wring
             her
             hands
             ,
             and
             rubbe
             the
             Pewter
             and
             Brasse
             till
             not
             a
             skellet
             scapt
             a
             scouting
             .
             Then
             I
             would
             find
             
             fault
             with
             every
             thing
             ,
             and
             be
             pleased
             with
             nothing
             :
             nor
             could
             shee
             sweepe
             so
             cleane
             ,
             but
             I
             would
             finde
             a
             sluts
             corner
             :
             nay
             ,
             I
             left
             her
             not
             so
             much
             rule
             ,
             as
             over
             the
             roast
             ,
             and
             the
             weapons
             that
             I
             awed
             her
             with
             ,
             were
             the
             spit
             and
             the
             Jackeline
             ;
             insomuch
             ,
             that
             shee
             beganne
             at
             the
             length
             to
             be
             a
             little
             more
             plyant
             and
             tractable
             ,
             and
             beganne
             to
             change
             her
             perverse
             obstinacy
             ,
             into
             a
             kinde
             of
             peevish
             obedience
             ;
             for
             she
             would
             turn
             her
             frowne
             into
             a
             sowre
             smile
             ,
             and
             in
             the
             stead
             
             of
             a
             double
             ,
             expresse
             a
             doubtfull
             duty
             ,
             (
             syrreveverence
             )
             in
             a
             kind
             of
             a
             jeering
             and
             mockng
             courtesie
             .
          
           
             By
             my
             faith
             ,
             said
             his
             Neighbour
             ,
             I
             should
             be
             glad
             of
             so
             much
             ,
             and
             be
             very
             thankfull
             too
             ;
             but
             I
             can
             compasse
             no
             such
             matter
             ,
             unlesse
             I
             meant
             to
             buy
             it
             with
             stroakes
             :
             No
             (
             said
             the
             Shrew-tamer
             )
             but
             I
             would
             bee
             a
             man
             or
             a
             Mouse
             ;
             a
             
               Caesar
               aut
               nullus
            
             :
             this
             was
             no
             submission
             to
             give
             me
             satisfaction
             ;
             but
             I
             pursu'd
             it
             further
             :
             for
             what
             good
             would
             the
             knee
             without
             
             the
             heart
             have
             done
             mee
             ?
             But
             I
             followed
             the
             scent
             whilst
             it
             was
             hot
             .
             Shee
             could
             not
             come
             at
             a
             shooe
             to
             her
             foote
             ,
             nor
             a
             hat
             to
             her
             head
             ,
             nor
             a
             band
             to
             her
             necke
             ,
             nor
             a
             Coate
             to
             her
             backe
             ;
             so
             that
             she
             was
             in
             a
             perplexity
             to
             be
             ever
             kept
             in
             Prison
             ,
             which
             she
             fearing
             ,
             was
             at
             length
             content
             to
             doe
             any
             thing
             ;
             and
             if
             I
             commanded
             her
             to
             light
             her
             Candles
             at
             the
             wrong
             end
             :
             and
             till
             then
             I
             could
             never
             truly
             crye
             victory
             ,
             and
             boast
             of
             the
             Conquest
             .
             But
             first
             I
             must
             tell
             you
             ,
             I
             suffered
             no
             sleepe
             to
             come
             
             neare
             her
             eyes
             ;
             which
             I
             learnt
             first
             of
             a
             Falkner
             ,
             for
             Hawkes
             are
             tam'd
             by
             watching
             onely
             ,
             and
             that
             will
             make
             any
             Haggard
             come
             to
             hand
             :
             and
             shee
             at
             this
             time
             comes
             as
             gently
             to
             the
             fist
             ,
             as
             any
             Falcon
             of
             them
             all
             ,
             and
             may
             at
             this
             time
             be
             called
             a
             Tassell
             gentle
             .
          
           
             Now
             a
             blessing
             on
             thine
             heart
             said
             his
             Neighbour
             :
             This
             is
             an
             Art
             you
             have
             found
             out
             ,
             worth
             all
             the
             seven
             liberall
             Sciences
             ;
             and
             would
             you
             but
             keepe
             a
             schoole
             ,
             and
             professe
             the
             teaching
             of
             it
             ,
             clappe
             but
             your
             
             Bills
             upon
             posts
             ,
             and
             I
             make
             no
             doubt
             ,
             but
             you
             will
             quickly
             have
             Customers
             out
             of
             all
             Countries
             :
             and
             so
             for
             that
             time
             they
             parted
             .
          
        
         
           
             Certaine
             signes
             to
             know
             a
             Shrew
             by
             .
          
           
             Take
             heede
             of
             a
             sowre
             Lasse
             ,
             whose
             wrinkles
             in
             her
             forehead
             comes
             neare
             her
             eye-browes
             ;
             for
             the
             most
             part
             she
             is
             sullen
             ,
             and
             upon
             my
             life
             will
             prove
             right
             at
             straight
             .
          
           
             Take
             heede
             of
             a
             Hawks
             eye
             ,
             a
             sharpe
             nose
             ,
             and
             an
             eye
             that
             is
             blacke
             and
             
             waterish
             ,
             for
             they
             are
             true
             blew
             .
          
           
             Take
             heede
             of
             a
             Bottle-nose
             ,
             one
             whose
             nose
             turnes
             up
             againe
             like
             a
             Shooing-horne
             :
             for
             if
             she
             doe
             not
             after
             eighteene
             monthes
             tell
             you
             your
             owne
             ,
             then
             blame
             mee
             for
             ever
             after
             for
             an
             ignorant
             married
             man.
             
          
           
             Take
             heed
             of
             one
             ,
             who
             hath
             a
             long
             white
             hand
             ;
             for
             shee
             will
             doe
             no
             huswifry
             ,
             for
             feare
             she
             should
             spoyle
             her
             fine
             fingers
             .
          
           
             I
             am
             of
             Diogines
             opinion
             for
             marriage
             ;
             that
             yong
             men
             may
             not
             marry
             yet
             ,
             old
             men
             not
             at
             all
             :
             for
             I
             
             doe
             wish
             I
             had
             never
             married
             ,
             nor
             beene
             given
             in
             marriage
             :
             And
             for
             advice
             you
             may
             as
             well
             blindefold
             your selfe
             ,
             and
             then
             chuse
             ,
             as
             to
             have
             your
             eye-sight
             and
             be
             deceived
             ,
             for
             the
             proofe
             of
             the
             pudding
             is
             in
             the
             eating
             .
          
           
             FINIS
             :
          
        
      
    
     
       
         
         
         
         
           
             
               Tzijn
               siercke
               beenen
               die
               weelde
               draaghen
               konne
               .