The sculler rowing from Tiber to Thames with his boate laden with a hotch-potch, or gallimawfry of sonnets, satyres, and epigrams. With an addition of pastorall equiuocques or the complaint of a shepheard. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1612 Approx. 85 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 25 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A13493 STC 23791 ESTC S118270 99853477 99853477 18860 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A13493) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 18860) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1036:20) The sculler rowing from Tiber to Thames with his boate laden with a hotch-potch, or gallimawfry of sonnets, satyres, and epigrams. With an addition of pastorall equiuocques or the complaint of a shepheard. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. [48] p. By E[dward] A[llde] & are to be solde [by Nathaniel Butter] at the Pide-bull neere St. Austins gate, Printed at London : 1612. In verse. With a title-page woodcut. Printer's and bookseller's names from STC. Signatures: A-F⁴. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2000-00 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2001-09 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-06 Kirk Davis Sampled and proofread 2002-06 Kirk Davis Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-07 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE SCVLLER , Rowing from TIBER to THAMES with his Boate laden with a hotch-potch , or Gallimawfry of Sonnets , Satyres , and Epigrams . With an addition of Pastorall Equiuocques or the complaint of a Shepheard . By IOHN TAYLOR . Sum primus homo , Vis ire mecum Remis ? Est mihi proxima ● imbe . Read , and then iudge . Printed at London by E. A. & are to be solde at the Pide-bull neere St. Austins gate . 1612. TO THE RIGHT WORshipfull and worthy fauourer of learning , my singular good Maister , Sir WILLIAM WAAD Knight , Liefetenant of his M ties Tower of London , your poore seruant Iohn Taylor , consecrates this his first Inuentions : wishing You , and Yours , all happines temporall and eternall . S Such is the course of this inconstant life , I In which we mortall creatures draw our breath : R Reason is ruld by Rage , and Peace by Strife , W Wit is a slaue to Will , and Life to Death . I I in these fickle , fleeting , fading times , L Liue and enioy the bounty of your fauors , L Let me I pray' , and my vnworthy rimes , I Intreat your kinde protection of my labors . A As in a storme the Sheepe to shelters runne , M My Muse vnto your Patronage doth flie , W Whereas she hopes all Enuies stormes to shunne , A And liue despight of scandals callumnie . A All my endeauours then shall me perswade , D Dreadles that I through greater streames will wade . Your humble seruant most obesequious IOHN TAYLOR . To the right worshipfull and my euer respected , Mr. IOHN MORAY Esquire . OF all the wonders this vile world includes , I muse how 〈◊〉 such high fauors gaine ! How adulation cunningly deludes Both high and lowe , from Scepter to the Swayne : But yet if thou by flattry couldst obtaine More then the most that is possest by men , Thou canst not tune thy tongue to falshoods straine , Yet with the best canst vse both tongue and pen. Thy sacred learning can both scan and ken The hidden things of Nature , and of Art , T is thou hast raisd me from obliuions den , And made my Muse from obscure sleepe to start . Vnto thy wisdomes censure I commit , This first borne issue of my worthles wit. I T. To my deere respected friend Mr. Beniamin Iohnson . THou canst not dye , for though the stroake of death Depriues the world of thy worst earthly part : Yet when thy corps hath banished thy breath , Thy liuing Muse shall still declare thy Art. The fatall Sisters and the blessed Graces , Were all thy friends at thy natiuity : And in thy minde the Muses tooke their places , Adoring thee with rare capacitie . And all the Worthies of this worthy land , Admires thy wondrous all admired worth , Then how should I that cannot vnderstand Thy worth , thy worthy worthinesse set forth . Yet beare the boldnesse of the honest Sculler , Whose worthlesse praise can fill thy praise no fuller . I. T. To my louing friend IOHN TAYLOR . COuld my vnpractisd Pen aduance thy name , Thou shouldst be seated on the wings of Fame . For from thy toylesome Oare I wonder I , How thy inuention flowes so iocundly ! Not hauing dreamd on faire Pernassus Hill , With fruitfull numbers to inrich thy Quill . Nor hauing washt in that Pegassion Fount , Which lends the wits such nimblenes to mount , VVith tickling rapture , on poetique straines , On Thames the Muses floate that fills thy braines . Thy happy wit producde thy happy rimes , VVhich shall commend thee vnto after times . And worthily enrole thy name mongst those , VVhose Temples are begirt with Lawrell bowes . For , ( sooth to say ) a worke I saw not yet , Lesse helpt with learning and more grac'd with wit. Then spight of Enuy , and Detractions scorne , Though Art thou wantst , thou art a Poet borne : And as a friend for names sake , I le say thus , Nec scombros metuentia , Carmina nec Thus. Henry Taylor . To the one and onely water-Poet and my friend Iohn Taylor . FResh water Soldiers saile in shallow streames , And mile-end Captaines venture not their liues : A braine distempred brings forth idle dreames , And guilded Sheathes haue sildome golden Kniues . And painted faces none but fooles bewitch : Thy Muse is plaine ; but witty , faire , and rich . When thou didst first to Agganippe floate , Without thy knowledge ( as I surely thinke ) The Nayades did swim about thy boate And brought thee brauely , to the Muses brinke . 〈◊〉 Grace , and Nature filling vp thy Fountaine , Thy muse came flowing from Pernassus Mountaine . So long may flowe as is to thee most fit , The boundles Ocean , of a Poets wit. I P. In laudem Authoris . VVIt , Reason Grace , Religion , Nature , Zeale . Wrought all together in thy working braine . And to thy worke did set this certaine 〈◊〉 , Pure is the cullor that will take no staine . What need I praise , the worke it selfe doth praise : In words , in worth , in forme , and matter to , A world of wits are working many waies , But few haue done , that thou dost truly doe : Was neuer Taylor shapt so fit a Coate , Vnto the corps of any earthly creature , As thou 〈◊〉 made for that foule Romish Goate , In true discription of his deuillish nature . Besides , such matter of iudicious wit , With queint 〈◊〉 so fitting euery fancy , As well may proue , who scornes and spights atit , Shall either shew their folly or their franzie . Then let the Popes Bulls roare , bell , booke and candle , In all the Deuills circuit sound thy curse : Whilst thou with truth dost euery try all handle , God blesse thy worke and thou art nere the worse . And while Hells friends their 〈◊〉 foe doe proue thee The Saints on earth , and God in heauen will loue thee . Thy louing friend Nicholas Bretton . VVHen Tybers siluer waues their Chanell leaue , And louely Thames , hir wonted course for sake , Then foule obliuion shall thy name bereaue , Drenching thy glory in her hell-bred lake , But till that time this scourge of Popery : Shall Crowne thy fame with immortallity . Thy friend assured Maximilian Waad . To my louing friend Iohn Taylor . FErris gaue cause of vulgar wonderment , When vnto Bristow in a Boate he went : Another with his Sculler ventered more , That Row'd to Flushing from our English 〈◊〉 . Another did deuise a woodden Whale , Which vnto Callice , did from Douer saile , Another , with his Oares and slender Wherry , From London vnto Antwerpe o're did ferry . Another , maugre fickle fortunes teeth , Rowed hence to Scotland , and ariu'd at Leeth . But thou hast made all these but triuiall things , That from the Tower thy watry Sculler brings To Hellicon : most sacred in account , And so arriued at Pernassus Mount : And backe returndladen with Poets wit , With all the muses hands to witnesse it : Who on their Sculler doth this praise bestowe , Not such another on the Thames doth rowe . Thy louing friend SAMVEL ROWLANDS . To my friend both by water and land IOHN TAYLOR . OFt hast thou traueld for me at thy Oare , But neuer in this kind did'st toyle before . To turne a Poet in this peeuish tyme , Is held as rare as I should write in rime , For one of thy profession , yet thy Art , Surpasseth mine : this serues to paint that part , I meane thy Poetry which in thee lurkes , And not thy sweating skill in water workes . I cannot but commend thy Booke , and say Thou merritst more then common Scullers pay : Then whistle off thy Muse , and giue her scope . That she may soundly cease vpon the Pope : For well I see that he and many more , Are dar'de by her ( which scarce was done before ) Proceed ( good Iohn ) and when th' ast done this worke , Feare not to venter trussing of the Turke . I like thy vaine , I loue thee for those gifts Of Nature in thee , far aboue the shifts That others seeke plodding for what they pen , Wit workes in thee , Learning in other men , Thou natiue language we haue done thee wrong , To say th' art not compleat , wanting the tongue Cald Latine , for heere 's one shall end the strife , That neuer learned Latine word in 's life . Then to conclude , I truly must confesse , Many haue more bene taught , hut learned lesse . Thy assured friend R. B. To my louing friend IOHN TAYLOR . SOme say kinde Iacke thou art a Poet borne , And none by Art ; which thou maist iustly scorne : For if without thy name they had but seene Thy lines , thy lines had artificiall beene . Opinion carries with it such a curse , Although thy name makes not thy verse the worse . If then this worke , variety affords Of Tropes , of Figures , Epethets and words , With no harsh accent , and with iudgement too , I pray what more can Art or Nature doo ? So that in thee thy Genius doth impart , To Artificiall Nature , Naturall Art. Thy old assured friend IO. MORAY . Prologue to the READER . GOod gentle Reader , if I doe transgresse , I know you know , that I did ne're professe , Vntill this time in Print to be a Poet : And now to exercise my wits I show it . View but the intralls of this little Booke , And thou wilt say that I some paines haue tooke : Paines mixt with pleasure , pleasure ioynd with paine , Produc'd this issue of my laboring braine . But now me thinkes I heare some enuious throat , Say I should deale no further then my Boat : And ply my Fare , and leaue my Epigram , Minding , ne sutor vltra 〈◊〉 . To such I answere , Fortune giues her gifts , Some downe she throwes , & some to honor lifts : Mongst whome from me , she hath with held her store And giues me leaue to sweat it at my Oare , And though with labour I my liuing purse , Yet doe I thinke my lines no iot the worse : For gold is gold , though buried vnder mosse , And drosse in golden vessels is but drosse . Iohn Taylor . TO TOM CORIET . VVHat matters for the place I first came from , I am no Duncecomb , Coxecombe , Odcombe Tom Nor am I like a Wooll-packe , cramd with Greeke , Venus in Venice minded to goe seeke : And at my backe returne to write a volume , In memory of my wits Gargantua Colume . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 wits would 〈◊〉 so adore me , Nor like so many 〈◊〉 runne before me : But honest Tom , I enuy not thy state , There 's nothing in thee worthy of my hate : Yet I confesse thou hast an exeellent wit : But that an idle braine doth harbor it . Foole thou it at the Court , I on the Thames , So farwell Odcomb Tom , God blesse King Iames. The Author in his owne defence . THere is a crew of euer carping spirits , Who merrit nothing good , yet hate good merits : 〈◊〉 wrings his Iawes awry , and then cries mew , And that I stole my lines 〈◊〉 plainely shew . Thou addle headed Asse , thy braines are muddy , Thy witles wit , vncapable of studdy , Deemst each inuention barren like to thine , And what thou canst not mend thou wilt repine . Loe thus to wauering Censures torturing Racke , With truth and confidence my Muse doth packe . Let Zoylus and let Momus doe their worst , Let Enuy and Detraction swell and burst : In spight of spight , and 〈◊〉 disdaine , In 〈◊〉 of any carping Critticks braine , Like to a Poast I le runne through thicke and thin , To scourge iniquity and spurreg all sin . You worthy fauorites of wisdomes lore , Onely your fouors doth my Muse implore : If your good stomackes these harsh lines disgest , I careles bid a rush for all the rest . My lines first parents ( be they good or ill ) Was my vnlearned braine , and barren quill . To the whole kennell of Anti-Christs hounds , Priests , friers , monks , and Iesuits , mastiffs , mongrells , Islands , Spanniells , blood-hounds , bobtailetike , or foysting-hound : the Sculler sends greeting . Epigram 1. CVrse , exorcize , with beads , with booke , & bell Poluted shauelings : rage and doe your worst : Vse coniurations till your bellies burst , With many a Nigromanticke mumbling spell , I feare you not , nor all your friends that fell With Lucifer : ye damned dogs that durst Deuise that thundring treason most accurst , Whose like before was neuer hatchd in hell : Halfe men , halfe deuils , who neuer dreamd of good , To you from faire and sweetly sliding Thames , A popomasticke Sculler war proclaimes , As to the suckers of imperiall blood . An Anti-Iesuit Sculler with his pen , Defies your Babell Beast , and all his den . I. T. Epigram 2. ROome , now approaches thy 〈◊〉 , Thy Anti-Christian Kingdome downe must tumble , Like Nimrods proud cloud-pearcing Babilon , Thy hell-hatchd pride , despight thy heart must humble . In scorne of dambd equiuocation , My lines like thunder through thy Regions rumble . Downe in the dust must lye thy painted glory , For now Irowe and write thy tragicke story . Epigram 3. VVHen God had all things out of nothing fram'd , And man had named all things that are nam'd : God shewed to man the way he should behaue him , What ill would dam him , or what good would saue him . All Creatures that the world did then containe , Were all made subiects to mans Lordly raigne . Faire Paradice was princely ADAMS walke , Where God himselfe did often with him talke : At which the Angels , enuious and proud , Striu'd to ascend aboue the highest 〈◊〉 : And with the mighty God to make compare , And of his glory to haue greatest share : Because they saw Gods loue to man so great , They striud to throw their maker from his seat . But he , whose power is All-sufficient , Did headlong hurle them from Heauens battlement : And for with enuious pride they so did swell , They lost Heauens glory for the paines of Hell. In all this time man liuing at his ease , His wife nor he not knowing to displease Their glorious maker , till the sonne of night Full fraught with rage , and poyson bursting spight , Finding alone , our antient Grandam EVE , With false perswasions makes her to beleeue , If she would eat the fruit she was forbidden , She should Gods secrets know , were from her hidden . Supposing all was true , the Serpent told , They both to ADAM straightway did vnfold , This treacherous horrid vile soule-killing treason , And he ambitious , past the bounds of reason , ( To his posterities sole detriment ) Doth to the Woman and the Fiend consent . Yet Adam neuer had the Deuill obayd , Had he not had the woman for his ayd . Loe thus the sex that God made , man to cherish , Was by the Deuill intic'te to cause him perish . Sathan supposing he had wonne the field , ( In making man to his obedience yeeld ) Poore Adam now in corps and minde deiected , From head to foote with shamefull sinne infected : Is now a slaue to sinne , the Deuill , and death , Dreading the danger of th' almighties wrath . From Eden banisht , from Gods presence thrust , And all the earth being for his crime accurst : Opprest with griefe and selfe consuming care , 〈◊〉 at the brim of bottomeles dispaire . Yet God in mercy thinking of his frailty , Though sinnefull man to him had broken fealty ; Did promise he would send his onely Sonne , To satisfy for faults by man misdone . At last he came , in his appoynted time , And on his faultles shoulders tooke our crime : And like a malefactor death he fusferd , And once for all , himselfe himselfe hath offerd . And yet the Deuill will not be satisfide , ( Although the Sonne of God for sinners dide ) But dayly hellish damned enterprises , His ministers and he gainst man deuises , Vnder the shelter of Religions cloake , Seditiously he doth the world prouoke , Gainst God in traytrous maner to rebell , To amplifie his euerlasting hell , Attempting mankinde still by fraud or forcc , His soule from his redeemer to diuorce : And yet not man alone must feele his sting , But he dares venter on our heauenly King , Whose power , though Sathan knowes is euerlasting , Yet after forty dayes and nights long fasting , Thinking him weake , attempts now to inuade him , And with illusions seeking to perswade him : Carries our Sauiour vp vnto a hill , And told him if he would obey his will , In adoration to fall downe before him , He of this worlds great glory would so store him , That he should Lord and Master be of all , If he in reuerence would before him fall . Christ knowing him to be the roote of euill , With God-like power commaunds , auoyd thou deuill : T is writ , thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God , But serue and feare the fury of his rod. Sathan perceiuing all his labour lost , Runnes through the world more swifter then a post : Proclaimes large kingdomes , and a tryple Crowne , To him that in his reuerence would fall downe . Ambitious thirst of sickle fading fame , Did quickely mindes of worldly men inflame : Making them dreame on pleasures transitory , And to esteeme earths pompe aboue heauens glory . This made the Pope , with poysnous pride infusde , T accept those honors Christ before refusde : Now hath he wonne great fame , on this condition , That fore the deuill he fall in base submission : So hauing won this great magnificence , To countermaund the earths circumference : The Idiot World he proudly ouer-swayes , Vnder the name of heauens immortall Kayes , Ore all the Globe he raignes as Lord & King , And to Hells Goate-folde aye doth millions bring Of soules , seduc'd with buzard blinded zeale , From men besotted he doth honor steale . And yet with his effrontit shamles face , Seemes to commaund the Deuill that gaue him place . A haynous fault in my dull vnderstanding , The seruant o're his Lord should be commanding : But yet I thinke t is but for pollicy , More to 〈◊〉 th' infernall monarchy : He seemes to hate the Deuill , he most doth serue , Else would the world from Romes obedience swerue , And leaue the Pope and papists in the lurch , And then might Sathan whistle for a Church . The I le of Brittaine hath perceiu'd their tricks , And in rebellion gainst the Pope she kicks : For whome they haue inuented hell-hatcht plots , Quite to extirp the English and the Scots . I wot not which of Rome or hell roard lowder , But they had like t' haue peperd vs with powder . Yea all estates from Scepter to the Clowne Should topsie turuy all be tumbled downe . Without respect of person , sex , or age , All had their doome , t' abide the Romane rage . But he that by his sacred selfe had sworne , To guard his Church , did laugh them all to scorne : For when those vassels of eternall night , Thought all secure , then God brought all to light , Casting their painted glory in the dust , That any power besides his power doth trust : Leauing their Corps a prey for Crowes and Kites , That brauely so for Signior Sathan fights . But in this matter I le no longer trauell , Least want of water make my Ship to grauell : Knowing theres many wits of farre more worth , That to the life hath limd this treason forth : But I le conclude as I hegan before , Because that Christ would not the Deuill adore , Christ lost this glorious worldly pompous raigne , Which happy losse the haples Pope did gaine . Epigram 4. HOw weakely is that weake Religion grounded , That thinks the Church on Peters corps is sounded ? The spouse of Christ is built on faiths firme rocke , Which not the fury of hells direfull shock , Though all the fiends in troopes doe her assaile , Yet gainst Gods power their force cannot preuaile . Peters confessing Christ Gods true begotten , Is sure the Churches ground , but Peter's rotten . Or else if Peter neuer had had life , Through want of him Christ neuer had had wife . For t is an Article of faith profound , To know St. Peter for the Churches ground . And who denies it shall haue fire and rope , Beleeue me Reader or goe aske the Pope . But yet I muse in what place of this earth , Gods Church did stand before Saint Peters birth ? Epigram 5. WHen as our Sauiour to the Temple went , To tell the message that his father sent : And finding there a rude vnruly tout , That bought and sold : he angry , beat them out , And ouerthrew their tressels and their tables , And made them packe away with all their bables : And further sayd ( what all true hearts beleeues ) This house was made for prayer , no den for theeues . Those marchants thus whipt from their market place , Practisd reuenge gainst Christ for this disgrace . And more , to strength their power , ioynd with the Pop. Who by his lawles lawes hath giuen them scope , That in the Church they still should buy and sell Both God and deuill , Heauen , Purgatory , Hell. Now heere 's the ods , Christ out the Pediars thrust , And stayd himselfe there , preaching what was iust . And for reuenge the hawty Romane Priest , Hath tane the Pedlars in , and thrust out Christ. Epigram 6. IT is a question farre beyond my Logick , How those that haue the Popedome won by Magick , Can be Liefetenants vnto Christ our Sauiour , Being knowne for hell-hounds of most dambd behauiour Then since the deuill hath the Pope created , His Vicar must he be that there him seated : T would make a wiser head then mine to muse , That God should like the man the Deuill doth chuse . Epigram 7. A Prouerb old , where had the Deuill the Fryer ? Where had the Deuill the Frier but where he was ? The Deuill with the Frier , sits in the quire , The Fryer with the Deuill sayes and sings Masse : The Deuill and the Frier are nere asunder , The Fryer to hate the Deuill is more then wonder . Epigram 8. COnferring with a Romish Pharisie , Who voyd of grace 〈◊〉 this heresy , That he the law of God had neuer broken , Nor neuer ill had done , nor ill had spoken . I gaue his Antichristian faith the lye , And told him that for him Christ did not dye . For he did suffer onely for their sinne , Who were insnared in the deuills Iynne . And as for him that neuer had transgrest , T were good to hang him now hee 's at the best . Epigram 9. IT is an Art beyond the worke of Nature , The Pope should be Creator , and a creature : Betwixt the Pope and God there 's one thing od , For though God all things made , the Pope makes God. Epigram 10 REligion's scatter'd into diuers sects , One likes one way for many sound respects , Others like that way , others like another , And what likes t'one , is loathed by the tother . Yet each man deemes his own opinions right , And each gainst other beares inated spight . Amongst the rest the Romane Catholike , Who scornes that his Religion sayle should strike To any , since from it two vertues springs , That they may eat their God , and kill their Kings : By which maine maximes they doe strongly hope , To the worlds Period to vphold the Pope . Epigram 11. IT is no wonder though Romes regall sway , Is by a Shepheard ruld with Lordly fame ; For antient records truly doth display ; How Romulus the Shepheard built the same : And how his brother Remus and himselfe , In Tybers ruthles waues , ydrencht and duckt , When infant misery was all their pelfe , A rauening wolfe , most mother-like they suckt : From whome doth spring as from a flowing gulfe , Romes Priest , and Prince , a Shepheard , and a Wolfe . Epigram 12. TVmulteous thoughts within my breast doth struggle , To thinke how finely popish Priests can iuggle : And make the world beleeue , a wafer Cake Is that Creator that did all things make : Or that the sinne-polluted bald-crownd Priest , With coniurations , can create his Christ , When our beliefe doth plainely testify , He sits at Gods right hand in maiesty , From whence in humane forme he will not come , Till quicke and dead shall all abide his dome , What fooles are they then thinkes the priest & Baker , With impious hands makes their immortall maker . Epigram 13. NOt all the sophistry of Aristotle , Cannot perswade me but the Pope did erre , When he and 's sonne mistooke the poysned bottle , 〈◊〉 error sure what euer they inferre . O' t had bene good then , both for him and 's heire , He had bene halterd fast in Peters Chayre . Epigram 14. THe warlike Emperors before Christ come , Subdude the world , both sea & land to Rome . Then afterwards the Heauens , their Bishops wonne , By preaching truly Gods immortall sonne . Heauen , Earth , and Sea , being taken in the prime , What rests now for the Popes this latter time ? Since of the heauens and earth they loose their part , They will haue hell despight the deuils hart . Epigram 15. CHrists Church in no wayes is the Church of Rome , For Paul sayes , in the latter times should come Apostats that the 〈◊〉 should quite for sake , That lyes and fables should Religion make : Affirming meats and matrimony euill , Which Paul doth call the doctrine of the deuill . Then since the Pope and all his shaueling rout , What Christ commaunds they wilfully thrust out , I with my betters must conclude this doome , The Deuils deere drab must be the Church of Rome . Epigram 16. O Yes , if any man would know a place , Where God himselfe hath neither power nor might , Where as th' almighty neuer shew'd his face : Where words , 〈◊〉 swords can neither talke nor fight , O such a placeles place is Purgatory , Created by the Pope without Gods leaue , To 〈◊〉 his Antichristian glory , And all the world with cunning to deceaue , Where as the Pope hangs , drawes , condemnes , & iudges , Commits , acquits , sets free , or casts in thrall , Whether he thousands sends , on heapes like drudges , For in this no place , he is all in all : And like a mighty three crownd priestly Prince , With threats and bans he so the world bewitches : In sending thither and recalling thence , He gaines himselfe the Deuill and all for ritches . Epigram 17. THe Pope hath charge of heauens immortall keyes , And triple-headed Cerberus obeyes , His triple Crowne , and who so ere he please , He 〈◊〉 to hell for paine , or heauen for ease . He can commaund the Angells and the Fiends , What pleases them for him or for his friends , Like as a dog doth feare a flitch of bacon , So his great name , Heauen , Earth , and Hell hath shaken . Epigram 18. VVHo dares affirme the Popes of Rome are Proud , Amongst the Heretickes himselfe must shroud : Or who dares say they 'r giuen to Auarice , In selling heauen and hell for summes of price ? Or who dares speake such words of trechery , To say the Pope is giuen to Letchery ? Or who is he , dares be so impious , To say his holynes is Enuious ? Or 〈◊〉 , for feare of euerlasting scath , Dares once accuse his holynes of Wrath ? Or who is he that dares once veresy , The Pope doth vse excessiue Gluttony ? Or who dares say that like a droane or moath , Like an vnpreaching Priest he liues by Sloath ? He that against him this dares iustifie , Is a plaine Protestant , and such am I. Epigram 19. MAy it be calld intollerable pride , For man to sit in the Almighties seate ? Or on mens shoulders pompously to ride , To terrifie the World with thundring threate ? To weare a three-pilde Crowne vpon his head ? To haue both Kings and Princes at his becke ? Whose Horse by mighty Potentates is 〈◊〉 , Who proudly footes vpon the Emperors necke ? If trickes like these for pride may be alloud , Then I conclude the Pope must needs be proud . Epigram 20. IF it be couetous for gripple gaine , To sell 〈◊〉 Heauens , the Earth , yea God himselfe , To dispossesse Kings from their lawfull raigne , To cram his coffers with vnlawfull pelfe . To pardon sinnes for money , more then pitty : Nay more , to pardon sinnes that are to come : To maintaine whores , & Stewes in Towne and Citty : Who yearely payes the Pope a countles sum , Who takes great interest , puts great sums to vse , T is couetousnes I thinke without excuse . Epigram 21. IS it not 〈◊〉 sensuall appetite , The 〈◊〉 to make a Strumpet of his Childe ? Or is not Letchery an Epithite , For him that hath his fathers bed defilde ? For him that hath deflourd Virginity ? That hath defilde the Damsell and the Dam 〈◊〉 respect of Consanginity ? That like a Wolfe hath spoyld both Ewe and Lamb ? This may be tearmd incestuous Luxury , And yet his Holynes not wrongd thereby . Epigram 22. HE like a God that gouernes in the world , That 〈◊〉 each mans honor but his owne : He that sedition through the earth hath hurld , Whose Enuie hath great Kingdomes ouer throwne . He that vngraues his foe that 's once intombd , For Enuy that he wrongd him whilst he liu'd , And after death is 〈◊〉 doombd , To be of liueles senceles 〈◊〉 depriu'd . If this be true none will deny I hope , That Enuy is ingrafted in the Pope . Epigram 23. HE whose fierce Wrath with bloody rage doth swell , That takes delight in slaughtring Gods elect : He that is sworne the Champion of Hell , That Wrath and Murder onely doth effect : He whose combustious all deuowring ire , Depopulates and layes whole Empires waste , Whose Wrath like a consuming quenchles fire , Hath blessed peace from Christendome displac'te , If I should need one , 〈◊〉 in wrath and murther , His Holynes commaunds me seeke no further . Epigram 24. WHo dares for Gluttony the Pope accuse , Or gainst voluptuous dyet make's complaints ? His Holynes so many Fasts doth vse , As 〈◊〉 , and fasting dayes , and Eeues of Saints . Yet where Pride , 〈◊〉 , and Auarice are found , Heart gnawing Enuy , and fell murdering Wrath , There rauenous Gluttony must needs abound , Else other vices will be out of breath . For Papists fasts are generally more deare , Then feasts of 〈◊〉 with all their cheare . Epigram 25. THose * Liberall Sciences , in number seauen , Began with Pride , and ends with drowsie Sloath ? Yet Christs commaund vnto th' Apostles giuen , Was * feede my Sheepe that faith in them haue growth . Now I suppose the feeding of Christs flocke , Is truly preaching of his facred word , Which word 's the Key that opes the heauenly Locke , Which * Sword and Word his Holynes doth hoord , Which drawn , cuts his throat and the Deuills both , For feare of which he lets it sleepe in sloath . The beliefe of a Romish Catholike . Epig. 26. I Doe beleeue the holy Pope of Rome , Is Lord of Scriptures , Fathers , Church and all : Of Counsells , of the world , whose dreadfull doome , Can at his pleasure make all rise , or fall . I doe beleeue though God 〈◊〉 the same , That I should worship Images , and Saints : I hope by mine owne workes I Heauen may claime , In tongues vnknowne , I must make prayers and plaints . I doe belieue Christs body made of bread , And may be eaten by Dogs , Cats , 〈◊〉 Mice , Yet is a sacrifice for quicke and dead , And may be bought and sold for rated price . I further doe beleeue the Pope our Lord , Can at his pleasure all my sinnes forgiue . I do beleeue at his commaunding word , Subiects must Kings of liues & lands depriue . Like as the Church belieues so I belieue : By which I hope the heauens I shall atchieue . Epigram 27. LIke as the Vipers birth 's his mothers bane , So the Popes Full , hath bene the Emperors Wane : The Empires Autumne was the popish Spring , And Kings subiection made the Pope a King. Then did his holines become a God , When Princes children like , gan feare his rod. Whilst earthly potentates their owne did hold The Popes then shepheard like did keep their fold . And fore the sacred truth should be orecome , They manfully would suffer martyrdome . But farwell Martyrs now , and welcome Miters , For paineful Preachers now , contentius fighters With blood or gold assends the papall chaire , Vnder the title of St. Peters heire . I thinke if truth were brought vnto a tryall , The Pope is heire to Peter in denyall . But want of penitence proclaimes him base , A Bastard , not of Peters blessed race , Vnles when Christ did call th'Apostle deuill , Hee 's bastard to the good , and heire to th' euill . Epigram 28. ME thinkes I heare a swarme of Romanists , Reuile and curse , with candle booke , and bell : Yea all the poleshorne crew of Antichrists , Condemnes me all without remorse to hell . But I with resolution so doe arme me , Their blessings doe no good , nor cursings harme me . Epigram 29. I That haue rowed from Tyber vnto Thames , Not with a Sculler , but with Scull and Braines : If none will pay my fare , the more their shames , I am not first vnpaid that hath tane paines . Yet I le be bold if payment be delayd , To say and sweare your Sculler is not payd . To his aproued good friend Mr. Robert Branthwayt . DEere friend to thee I owe a countles debt , Which though I euer pay , will nere be payd : T is not base coyne , subiect to cankers fret , If so , in time my debt would be defrayd . But this my debt , I would haue all men knowe , Is loue : the more I pay , the more I owe. I. T , To his well esteemed friend Mr. Maximilian Waad . VVIt , Learning , Honesty , and all good parts , Hath so possest thy body , and thy minde , That curteously thou stealst away mens harts , Yet gainst thy theft there 's neuer none repinde . My heart , that is my greatest worldly pelfe , Shall euer be for thee as for my selfe . I. T. To my friend Mr. William Sherman . THou that in idle adulating words , Canst neuer please the humors of these dayes , That greatest works with smallest speach affords , Whose wit the rules of wisdomes lore obayes . In few words then , I wish that thou maist be , As well belou'd of all men as of me . FINIS . I. T. Epigram 1. ALl you that stedfastly doe fixe your eyes , Vpon this idle issue of my braine , Who voyd of any intricate disguise , Discribes my meaning rusticall and plaine . My Muse like Sisiphus with toylsome trade , Is euer working , yet hath neuer done , Though from the Romish Sea she well gan wade , Yet is her labour as t were new begun . For hauing at the Papists had a fling , Great Brittaines vice , or Vertues now I sing . Epigram 2. THen cause I will not hug my selfe in sinne , First with my selfe I meane for to begin . Confessing that in me there 's nothing good : My vaines are full of sin-poluted blood , Which al my corps infects with hel-borne crimes , Which make my actions lawles like these times , That had I power according to my will , My faults would make compare with any ill . But yet I muse at Poets now adayes , That each mans vice so sharply will dispraise : Like as the Kite doth ore the carrion houer , So their owne faults , with other mens they couer . Cause you shall deeme my iudgement to be iust , Amongst the guilty , I cry guilty first . Epigram 3. GLacus that selfe conceyted critticke foole , Vpon my Epigrams doth looke a scaunt , And bids me put my barren wit to schoole , And I in anger bid the Asse auaunt . For till some better thing by him is pend , I bid him falt not that he cannot mend . Epigram 4. A Skilfull Painter such rare pictures drew , That euery man his workmanship admird : So neere the life , in beauty , forme , and hue , As if dead Art , gainst Nature had conspirde . Painter saies one , thy wife 's a pretty woman , I muse such ill shapt Children thou hast got , Yet makest such Pictures as their like makes no man , I prethee tell the cause of this thy lot ? Quoth he , I paint by day when it is light , And get my Children in the darke at night . Epigram 5. VNlearned Azo , a store of bookes hath bought , Because a learned Scoller hee le be thought : I counseld him that had of bookes such store , To buy Pipes , Lutes , the Violl and Bandore , And then his musicke and his learnings share , Being both alike , with either might compare . Epigram 6. FAire Betrice tucks her coates vp somewhat hie , Her pretty Leg and Foot cause men should spie : Saies one you haue a handsome Leg sweet Ducke , I haue two ( quoth she ) or els I had hard lucke : There 's two indeed , I thinke th' are twinnes ( quoth he ) They are , and are not , honest friend ( quoth she ) Their birth was both at once I dare be sworne , But yet betweene them both a man was borne . Epigram 7. THe way to make a Welch-man thirst for blisse , And say his prayers daily on his knees : Is to perswade him that most certaine t is , The Moone is made of nothing but greene Cheese . And hee le desire of God no greater boone . But place in heauen to feede vpon the Moone . Epigram 8. A Gallant Lasse from out her window saw A gentleman whose nose in length exceeded : Hir boundles will , not lymited by law , Imagin'd he had what she greatly needed . To speake with him she kindly doth entreat , Desiring him to cleare her darke suppose : Supposing euery thing was made compleate , And corespondent equall to his nose . But finding short where she exspected long , She sigh'd , and said , O nose thou didst me wrong . Epigram 9. YOung Sr. Iohn Puck foyst , and his new made madam , Forgetts they were the off-spring of old Adam : I 'm sure t is not for wit , nor man-like fight , His worthles worship late was dubd a knight . Some are made great for wealth , and some for wit , And some for vallour doe attaine to it : And some for neither vallour , witt nor wealth , But stolne opinion , purchase it by stealth . Epigrom 10. ONe tolde me flattry was exilde the state , And pride and lust at Court were out of date , How vertue did from thence all vice pursue , T is newes ( quoth I ) too good for to be true . Epigrum 12. HE that doth beate his braines , and tire his witt , In hope thereby to please the multitude As soone may ride a horse without a bitt , Aboue the Moone , or sunnes high Altitude . Then neither flattery , nor the hope of pelfe , Hath made me write , but for to please my selfe . Epigram 12. ARustick swaine was cleauing of a block , And hum he Cryes at euery pondrous knock , His wife saies , husband wherfore hum you so ? Quoth he it makes the wedge in further goe . When day was don , and drowsie night was come , Being both in bed at play , she bids him hum , Good wife ( quoth he ) entreat me hum no more , For when I hum I cleaue , but now I bore . Epigram 13 , VVHen Caualero Hot-shott goes with Oares , Zoun's Rowe ye Rogs , ye lazy knaues make hast , A noyse of Fidlers , and a brace of whores , At Lambeth stayes for me to breake their fast . He that 's so hott for 's wench ere he come nie her , Being at her once I doubt hee le be a fier . Epigram 14. IT was my chaunce once in my furious moode , To call my neighbours wife an arrant who re , But she most stifly on her credit stood , Swearing that sory I should be therefo re , Her husband vnderstanding of the case , Protested he would sue me for a slander , When straight I prou'd it to his forked face , He was a knaue , a cuckold and a Pander . Oho ( quoth he ) good neighbor say no mo , I know my wife lets out her buggle bo . Epigram 15. THe Law hangs Theeues for their vnlawfull stealing , The Law carts Bawds , for keeping of the dore , The Law doth punish Rogues , for roguish dealing , The Law whips both the Pander and the whore , But yet I muse from whence this Law is growne , Whores must not steale nor yet must vse their owne . Epigram 16. OLd Fabian by extortion and by stealth , Hath got a huge masse of ill gotten wealth , For which he giues God daily thankes and praise , When t was the Deuill that did his fortunes raise . Then since the getting of thy goods were euill , Th' ast reason to be thankfull to the deuill , Who very largely hath increast thy muck , And sent them Miser Midaes golden luck . Then thanke not God for he hath helpt thee least , But thanke the Deuill that hath thy pelfe increast . Epigram 17. VVHat matter i st , how men their dayes do spend , So good report doe on their deaths attend : Though in thy former life thou nere didst good , But mad'st Religion for thy faults a hood , And all blacke sinnes were harbourd in thy breast , And tooke thy Conscience for their natiue nest : Yet at thy buriall for a noble price , Shalt haue a Sermon made , shall hide thy vice . A threed-bare Parson shall thy prayse out-powre , And in the expiration of an howre , Will make the world thy honesty applaud , And to thy passed life become a Baud. Our Christian brother heere lyes dead ( quoth he ) Who was the patterne of true Charity : No Drunkard , Whoremonger , nor no vile swearer , No greedy Vsurer , nor no Rent-rearer . O deare beloued his example take , And thus an end at this time doe I make . Thus Mr. Parson nobly spends his breath , To make a Villaine honest after death . And for one noble , freely he affoords , Much more then twenty shillings-worth of words . Epigram 18. LOrd who would take him for a pippin squire , That 's so bedawb'd with lace and rich attire ? Can the dambd windefalls of base bawdery , Maintaine the slaue in this imbrodery ? No maruaile Vertue 's at so lowe a price , When men knowes better how to thriue by Vice. Epigram 19. ALl Bradoes oathes are new-found eloquence , As though they sprung from learned sapience : He sweares by swift-pac'd Titans fiery Car , By Marses Launce , the fearefull God of warre , By Cupids Bowe , Mercuries charming Rod , By Baccus Diety , that drunken God. By grimfacde Pluto , and Auernus Caues , By Eolus blasts , and Nptunes raging waues , By his sweet Mistris bright translucent eies , All other Oathes his Humour doth despise . Epigram 20. Signeor Serano , to and fro doth range , And at high noone he visits the Exchange : With stately gate the peopled Burse he stalkes , Prying for some acquaintance in those walkes . Which if he spie , note but his strange salute , Marke how hee le spread to shew his broaking sute , When he perhaps that owde this cast apparell , Not a fortnight since at Tyburne fought a quarell . Epigram 21. OLd Grubsons Sonne a stripling of good age , T will make one laugh to see him and his Page , Like to a garded Vrchin walkes the streetes , Looking for reuerence of each one he meetes : Eagles must honour Owles , and Lyons Apes , And wise men worship fooles for farre fetcht shapes . Epigram 22. GReat Captaine Sharke doth wonderfully muse , How he shall spend the day that next ensues : There 's no Play to be plaid but he hath seene , At all the Theaters he oft hath beene : And seene the rise of Clownes , and fall of Kings , Which to his humor no contentment brings . And for he scornes to see a Play past twice : Hee le spend the time with his sweet Cockatrice . Epigram 23. A Compleat Gallant that hath gone as farre , That with his hands from Skies hath pluckt a Starre : And saw bright Phoebus when he did take Coach , And Luna when her Throane she did approach : And talkt with Iupiter and Mercury , With Vulcan and the Queene of Letchery , And saw the net the stumpfoot Blackesmith made , Wherein fell Mars and Venus was betraid , With thousand other sights he saw in Skies : Who dares affirme it that this gallant lyes ? I counsell all that either hate or loue him , Rather beleeue him then to goe disproue him . Epigram 24. DRusus his portion gallantly hath spent , What though ? he did it to a good entent . Vnto a wise man it seemes neuer strange , That men should put their mony to exchange . Nay then I see he was a subtill Fox , What had he for 't I pray ? sweet Sir the Pox. I doe not like his bargaine : why , wherefore ? His mony still wan'd lesse , his pox wax more . He need not now feare wasting of his stocks , Spend what he can he nere shall want the pox . Epigram 25. NEat Master Scapethrift railes against all riet , Commending much a temperate sparing diet : What though he hath bene prodigall and wilde , Those idle fancies now he hath exilde : What though he hath bene frequent with excesse Of Dice , of Drabs , and drowsie Drunkennes , Yet now hee 's changd sir , he is not the man , The case is alterd now from what t was than : The Prologue of his wealth did teach him spend , And t is the Epilogue that makes him mend . Epigram 26. A Greedy Chuffe once being warnd in poste , To make appearance at the Court of Hell : Where grisly Pluto hotly rules the roste : And being summond by the passing Bell , With heapes of Golde he would haue bribed Death , But he disayning bribes , depriu'd his breath , Epigram 27. DOctor Donzago one of wondrous learning , And in Astronomy exceeding cunning : Of things thats past and comming , hee s discerning , His minde on Prophesies is euer running , Of Commets , Meteors , Apparitions , Of Prodigies , and exhalations , Of Planets , natures , and conditions , And of the spheares great calculations , Yet want of one skill , all his cunning smothers , Who lies most with his wife himselfe or others ? Epigram 28. BRaue Bragadocio whome the world would threaten , Was lately with a fagot sticke sore beaten : Wherefore in kindenes now my Muse must weepe , Because his resolution was a sleepe . Epigram 29. WAlking along the streetes the other day , A ragged Soldier crost me on the way ; And though my Purses lyning was but scant , Yet somewhat I bestowd to ease his want . For which he kindely thankt me with his hart , And tooke his leaue and friendiy we did part . When straight mine eyes a Horse and Footcloth spide , Vpon whose backe in pompous state did ride , One , whome I thought was Deputy to Ioue , Yet not this Soldiers wants could pitty moue , But with disdainefull lookes and tearmes of scorne , Commaunds him trauell whether he was borne . T will almost make a puritane to sweare , To see an Asses Horse a Cloake to weare , When Christians must goe naked bare and thinne . Wanting apparrell t'hide their mangled skinne . Vaine world vnto thy Chaos turne agen , 〈◊〉 bruitish beasts are more esteemd then men . Epigram 30. LIefetenant Puffe from Cleaueland is returnd , Where entring of a Breach was sorely burnd : And from Reuenge hee le neuer be perswaded , Till the lowe Countries he hath quite inuaded . When his hot wrath makes Netherlands to smoake , Hee s bound for Deepe in Fraunce , with irefull stroake . But haue a care in these hot warres of Fraunce : Least in a pocky heat you spoyle your Launce . Epigram 31. A Loue-sicke Woer would a Sonnet write , In praise of her that was his hearts delight : Hoping thereby his wished loue to winne , And to attaine it , thus he did begin . Starre of the Earth , and Empresse of my Soule , My Loue and Life , that doth my thoughts controule : Sole Queene of my affections , and desire , That like to Aetna sets my heart on fire . Thy golden Lockes , resembling brightest Amber , Most fit to grace some mighty Monarkes Chamber : Thine eyes ecclipsing Titan in his rysing , Thy Face surpassing Natures best deuising . Thy Lips Euaporates most sweete perfumes , Thy Voyce the Musicke of the Spheares assumes . Perfection wounds more then Loues Shaft and Bowe , Thy red the Rose doth shame , thy white the snowe , Thou Worlds wonder , Natures dearest Iewell , Staine not thy Vertues , with thy being cruell . O thou that art my Soules adored Saint ! Be penetrable to my woes complaint . Thus the poore Bull-finch spends the day in moanes , The night he wasts in deepe heart-gnawing groanes , For a most silthy vgly odious Whore , On whome he spends his substance and his store . Deuising millions of egregious lyes , To raise his Punckes foule feature to the skyes . Epigram 32. LOoke how yon I etchers Legs are worne away With haunting of the Whore-house euery day : He knowes more greasy Panders , Bauds , & Drabs , And eats more Lobsters , Artichockes , and Crabs , Blew roasted Egges , Potatoes , Muskadine , Oysters , and pith that growes i' th Oxes Chine : With many Drugs , Compounds , and Simples store , Which makes him haue a stomacke to a Whore. But one day hee le giue ore , when t is too late , When he stands begging through an iron grate . Epigram 33. LIght fingerd Francis begging in the Iayle , Did chance to see a friend of his passe by , Thinking his lamentations would pre uaile , And that some coyne would from his bounty fly . Those antient friends , one thrall , and tother free , One hungry , lowsy , ragged , and forlorne : The tother fat with prodigallity , Makes him this answere mixt with pride and scorne , What Franck ( quoth he ) art there for Ale and Cake ? Why how the Deuill comes this luckles crosse ? Faith Sir ( quoth Franck ) your Mastership mistakes , For I am heere for stealing of a Horse . Troth I mistooke indeed , and so didst thou , For at this time I haue no mony now . Epigram 34. MOunsieur Luxurio hath bene with a Puncke , Whereby his Worships purse is shrowdly shrunke . And now for pennance of his former ryet , With good Duke Humfry he must take his dyet . Thus with a crosseles purse and meatles maw , 〈◊〉 his case quite past the helpe of Law. Epigram 35. THere chanst to meet together in an Inne , Foure men that thought that lying was no sinne , The 〈◊〉 an old man was in age well enter'd , The next a traueller that farre had venter'd , The third a Poet in prose and verse attir'd , The fourth a Painter for his art admir'd : These foure striued each other to excell , Who should in lying beare away the Bell : The old man said that when he was a boy , To lift nine hundred waight was but a toy , To iump in plaine ground thirty foote at least : Then was accounted but an idle iest . The 〈◊〉 replide that he had seene , The King of Pigmies and the Fairy Queene : And bene where triple-headed Cerberus , Did guard the sulphrus gate of Erebus . The Poet he had bene at Hellicon , And rakte from embers of obliuion , Olde Saturnes downefall , and Ioues royall rysing , With thousaud fictions of his wits deuising . And for the Painter scornes to come behinde , He paints a flying Horse , a golden Hinde . A Sagitary , and a grim wilde man , A two-neckt Eagle , and a cole-blacke swan . Now Reader tell me which of those fower Lyers , Doth best deserue the whetstone of their hyers . Epigram 36. THough Death do Vsurers of life depriue , Yet their extorcions euer shall suruiue . Epigram 37. MIraculos wonders in the Brittish clime , Monsters of Nature , sprung from putred slime . Sampson that puld the Gates of Gaza downe , Nor Libian Hercules whose furious frowne , Would mase strong Giants , tame the Lyons rage , Were not so strong as Gallants of this age : Why you shall see an vpstart Corkebraind Iacke , Will beare fiue hundred Akers at his backe , And walke as stoutly as it were no load , And beare it to each place of his aboad , Men of such strength I iudge it necessary , That none but such should Porters burdens carry . Epigram 38. FOr Gods loue tell what gallant Gull is that , With the great Feather , and the Beauer Hat ? O now I know , his name is Mounsieur Shift , Great Cosin german to Sir Cutbert Theft , All his reuenues still he beares ab out him , Whorehouse , nor Ordinaries neuer are without him . False Dice , sharp Knife , and nimble nimming fingers , Are his sworne Subiects , and his tribute bringers . Thus doth he swagger , sharke , steale , filtch , and quarrell , Vntill the hangmans wardrop keepes his parreli . Epigram 39. A Famous house in poasting hast is built , A gallant Porch with Pillars all beguilt , Braue lofty Chimnies , pitty to defile them , Pray make no fire , for the smoake will soyle them . Epigram 40. A Worthy Knight there is of antient fame , And sweet Sir reuerence men doe call his name : By whose industrious pollicie and wit , There 's many things well tane , were else vnfit , If to a fowle discourse thou hast pretence , Before thy foule words name Sir reuerence . Thy beastly tale most pleasantly will slip , And gaine the praise when thou deserust the Whip . There 's nothing vile that can be done or spoake , But must be couerd with Sir reuerence Cloake . His antient pedegree who euer seekes , Shall finde hee s sprung from mongst the gallant Greekes . Was Aiax Squire , great Champion to God Mars : Pray God Sir Reuerence blesse your Worships ( ) Epigram 41. HVnting is all this Gentlemans delight , Yet out of Towne his Worship neuer rides : He hunts inuisible and out of sight , For in the Citty still his game abides . He hunts no Lyon , Tygre , nor the Bore , Nor Bucke , nor Stagge , nor Hart , nor Hinde , nor Hare , But all his sport 's in hunting of a whore , And in the Chase no trauell he will spare . He hath one Dog for hunting of the Cunny , Worth a whole kennell of your flapmouthd Hounds , He will not part with him for any mony , But yet the Curre will course beyond his bounds . But I aduise him to respect his lot , Least too much heating make him pocky hot . Epigram 42. FAlling a sleepe , and sleeping in a dreame , Downe by the Dale that flowes with Milke & Creame , I saw a Rat vpon an Essex Cheese Dismounted by a Cambrian clad in Freese . To bid his Worship eat I had no need , For like a Serieant he began to feed . Epigram 43. A French and English man at dinner sate , And neither vnderstanding others prate , The Frenchman sayes , mange proface Mounsieure , The Englishman begins to storme and sweare : By all the Deuills , and the Deuills dams , He was not mangie but i th wrists and 〈◊〉 . Epigram 44. A Dead dead bargaine is a quicke quicke wife , A quicke wife lyes ore long vpon ones hands , But for a dead wife that hath lost her life A man may sooner vtter then his lands . This Riddle greatly doth amaze my head , That dead thinges should be quick , and quick things dead . Loe then I le make an outcry wondrous strange , If death doe any wife of life depriue : I le giue her husband coyne to boot and change , And for his dead wife one that is aliue : Besides , I le pay the 〈◊〉 and the feast , And take my wife againe when shee s dtceast . Epigram 45. Omus sits mumming like an 〈◊〉 Elfe , Hates others good nor doth no good himselfe . Epigram 46. REader , if any thing this Booke did cost , Thou needst not deeme thy coyne and labor lost : T will serue thee well Tobacco for to dry , Or when thou talkst with mother Anthony . T will serue for Muckenders for want of 〈◊〉 , So farwell Reader , I remaine thy detter . Satire THou that hast euer bene a rouing Theese , A diuing Cutpurse , or a periurd Slaue , And in all villany hast bene the Chiefe , And with a brasen brow canst iustice braue , That stealst thy pedegree from antient houses , And 〈◊〉 in broaking Sattin euery day : That takst delight in stabbing and Carowses , Not caring how thou letst thy loose life stray . Thou that hast bene a Traytor to thy Prince , A great Arch-villaine to thy natiue soyle , And wouldst by treachery exile from thence , The blessed peace hath bene procurd with toyle . Thou that hast bene a Machiuilian For damned slights , conceits , and pollicy : Thou that hast bene an Antichristian , Or 〈◊〉 with blinded heresy . If any of these vile iniquities , Haue bene the Axioms of thy passed life ; Then view the Roles of old antiquities , And see goods got with falshood , lost with strife . There shalt thou see how Iustice euermore , Hath poyz'd the Ballance , and vpheld the Sword , How Grauitie inspirde with Wisdomes lore , Hath Vertue honord , and foule Vice abhord . How Treason hath bene seuerd lim from lim , How Theft and Murder there haue paid their hire : How those that erst in worldly pompe did swim , Haue soyld their fortunes in disgraces mire . How 〈◊〉 hath forfeited his eares , How 〈◊〉 mounted on the Pillory , How graceles 〈◊〉 , that nothing feares , Doe end their dayes in loathed misery . How Vsury is plagued with the Gowt , How Auarice complayneth of the Stone : How guilty Consciences are still in dout , How Enuy gnawes on Honor to the bone . How Letchery is laden with the pox , How Prodigallity doth end with woe : How Panderisme is headed like an Ox , Because the destinies apoynt it so . How drunkennes is with the dropsie fraught , And made his visage like a fiery Commet , Who being full must leaue the tother draught , Till like a Swine he wallow in his vommet . How dambd hipocrisie with faigned zeale , And outward shew of painted holynes : ( Doth like a Canker eat the publike weale ) All scornefull pride , yet seemes all lowlynes . To thee that readst this , therefore be it knowne , If any of those vices are immurde Within thy heart , not to the World yet showne : If by this reading thou maist be allurde , To turne thy tide of life another way , And to amendment all thy thoughts incline : And to thy rebell will no more obay , But seeke by vertuous actions to combine Fame to thy friends , and terror to thy foe , And say t was friendly counsell told thee so . Satire . THis childish Anticke , doating pie-bald world , Through which the Deuill , all blacke sins hath hurld : Hath hene so long by wickednes prest downe , From the freese Plow-swaine to th' Imperiall Crowne : We haue so long in vice accustomd bin , That nothing that is wicked lookes like sin . The glistring Courtier in his gaudy tire , Scornes with his heeles to know his russet Sire . The pettifogging Lawyer crammes vp Crownes , From hobnayld Boores , and sheepeskin country Clownes The gaping , greedy , gryping Vsurer , The sonne of Hell , and Sathans treasurer : The base 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 sould bribing Broaker , The 〈◊〉 of Mankinde and his Countries choaker . The helhownd whelpe , the shoulder-clapping Serient , That cares not to vndoe the world for Argent . The postknight that will sweare away his soule , Though for the same , the law his eares doe powle . The smoaky black-lungd puft Tobacconist , Whose ioy dothin Tobacco sole consist . The chollericke Gull that 's tangled with a Drab , And in her quarrell will his father stab . The baudy dry boand letcherous Baboone , Would faine repent , hut thinkes it is too soone . The ryming Iygmonger would be a Poet , But that the Rascall hath not wit to show it . The wrinkled Bawd , and dambd Vermillian whore , That buyes and sells the pox t' increase their store . The greasy cauesdropping dore-keeping Pander , That with a Puncke to any man will wander . The conycatching shifter 〈◊〉 most briefe , And when hee s hangd hee le cease to be a thiefe . The 〈◊〉 Drunkard , will carrowse and quaffe , Till like a Hog he tumble in his draffe . Besides , there 's diuers other helborne sinnes : As some great men are wrapt in Misers skinnes , For feare of whose dislike 〈◊〉 hold me still , And not bumbast them with my Ganders quill . Consider with thy selfe good Reader then , That heere thou 〈◊〉 amongst those wicked men , Who on this earthly stage together keepe , Like mag gots in a putrified sheepe . Whose damned dealings blacke confusion brings , By the iust iudgement of the King of Kings . Pastorall Equinocks , or a Shepheards complaint . I That haue trac'd the mountaines vp and downe , And pipte and chanted Songs and pleasant layes : The whilst my flokes haue friskt it on the downe , Now blinded loue my sportiue pleasures layes . I that on greeny grasse could lay me do wne , And sleepe as soundly as on beds of downe . I then was free from loues all wounding blowe , My Ewes and Lambs then merrily could folde : I carde not then which way the winde did blowe , Nor had I cause with griefe my armes to folde , I feard not Winters frost , nor Summers sonne , And then was I a happy mothers sonne . I then could haunt the Market and the Faire , And in a frolicke humor leape and spring : Till she whose beauty did surpasse all faire , Did with her frosty 〈◊〉 nip my Spring . Then I alas , alas vnhappy I , Was made a captiue to her scornefull eie . VVhen loue 's fell shaft within my breast did light , Then did my Cock-horse pleasures all a light , Loues fiery 〈◊〉 ecclipsed all my light , And she vnkinde , weyde all my woes to light . O then my merry dayes away did hie , VVhen I so lowe did dote on one so hie . Her beauty , which did make Loues Queene a Crowe , VVhofe white did shame the Lilly , red the Rose . VVhen Phoebus messenger the Cocke did crowe , Each morne when from hia Antipods he rose . Despight of gates , and barres , and bolts , and lockes , Heed kisse her face , and guild her golden lockes . VVhich makes my rest , like those that restles be , Like one that 's hard pursude , and cannot flye : Or like the busie buzzing humming Bee , Or like the fruitles nought respected Flye . That cuts the subtill ayre so swift and fast , Till in the Spiders web hee 's tangled fast . As blustring Boreas rends the losty Pyne , So her vnkindenes rends and reaues my heart , I weepe , I waile , I sigh , I grone , I pine , I in ward bleed as doth the wounded Hart. She that alone should onely wish me well , Hath drownd my ioyes in sorrowes ioyles well . The 〈◊〉 Tyger , and the sauage Beare , All Beasts and Birds of prey that haunt the wood , In my laments doe seeme some part to beare , But onely She whose feature makes me wood , As barbing Autumne robs the trees of leaues : Her 〈◊〉 scorne me voyd of comfort leaues . No Castle , Fort , no Rampier , or strong Hold , But Loue will enter without Law or Leaue : For where affections force hath taken hold , There lawles loue will such impression 〈◊〉 , That Gods , nor men , nor fier , earth , water , winde , 〈◊〉 Loues straight lawes can neither turne nor wind . Then since 〈◊〉 haples haps falls out so hard , Since all the fates on me their anger powre : Since my laments and moanes cannot be heard , And she on me shewes her commaunding power . What then remaines , but I dissolue in teares , Since her disdaines my heart in pieces teares . Dye then sad heart in sorrowes prison pend , Dye face that 's 〈◊〉 with a deadly dye : 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that in her praise hath Poems pend , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , and Hand , haples and helples dye . 〈◊〉 Serieant Death , that rests and tak'st no bale , 〈◊〉 onely thou must ease my bitter bale . This said , he sighd , and fell into a sownd , That 〈◊〉 the Hills , and Groues , and neigbouring Plaines , The Ecchoes of his groanings seemd to sound , With repercussion of his dying plaines . And where in life he scorned counsell graue , Now in his death he rests him in his graue . Epitaph . HEere lies ingrau'd whose life fell death did sacke , Who to his graue was brought vpon a Beere : For whome let all men euer mourne in Sacke Or else remember him in Ale or 〈◊〉 . He who in life Loues blinded God did lead , Now in his death lies heere as cold as Lead . Sonnet : In trust lies treason . THe fowlest friends assumes the fairest formes , The fairest Fields doth feed the fowlest Toad : The Sea at calm'st most 〈◊〉 is to stormes , In choysest fruit the canker makes aboad . So in the shape of all belieuing trust , Lyes toad inuenomd treason cooched close , Till like a storme his trothles thoughts out burst , Who canker-like had laine in trusts repose . For as the fire within the flint confinde , In deepest Ocean still vnquencht remaines : Euen so the false though truest seeming minde , Despight of truth the treason still retaines . Yet maugre treason trust deserueth trust , And trust suruiues when treason dies accurst . Death with the foure Elements . TWo Infant-twinnes a Sister and a Brother , When out of dores was gone their carefull Sire , And left his babes in keeping with their mother , Who merrily sate singing by the fire . Who hauing fild a 〈◊〉 with water warme , She bathd hen girle ( O ruthles tale to tell ) The whilst she thought the other safe from harme , ( Vnluckily ) into the fire he 〈◊〉 : VVhich she 〈◊〉 lets her daughter drowne , And rashly ran to saue her burning sonne . Which finding dead , she hastily casts downe , And all agast , doth to the water runne : Where seeing tother was depriud of breath , She gainst the earth falls downe and dasnt her braines : Her Husband comes and sees this worke of death , And desperate hangs himselfe to ease his paines . Thus death with all the elements conspire , To reaue mans life , Earth , Water , Aire , and Fire . Epilogue . GOod Reader , if my harshe vnlearned rimes , ( Where with my Muse hath whipt these heedles times ) Hath pleasd thy pallat with their true endeauor : She then will thinke her selfe most fortunate , And shall heere after be importunate . Her selfe in better labors to perseuer . I speake not to those ignorant Iacke = 〈◊〉 , That with their Canker-biting enuious iawes , Will seeme to staine my Muses innocence . But in all humblenes I yeeld to those , Who are detracting Ignorances foes : And loues the labors of each good pretence . Dislike and scorne may chance my Booke to smother , But kinde acceptance brings forth such another . YOu that the Sculler right doth vnderstand , Mees very glad you 'r safely come to land . But if that any inarling manlike Monster , His honest meaning wrongfully misconster : To such 〈◊〉 all despight , he sends this word , From Booke and Boat hee le hurle them ouer boord . I. T. FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A13493-e3260 Math. 16. If the corps of Peter 〈◊〉 the Churches foú dation , as the Papists 〈◊〉 , thē how 〈◊〉 the spouse of our Sauiour haue done if the Apostle Peter had neuer ben borne T is more the I can beleeue that the Deuil hath power to elect ā Officer for God. Being of the Deuils placing or displacing , the Pope must needs bee the Deuils deputy & not 〈◊〉 I my selfe did talk with such a fellow , and if occasion serue I can produce him . T is a 〈◊〉 piece of work for the pot to make the 〈◊〉 ter . If the deuil be true to his 〈◊〉 , these two principle axiomes will to the end of the worlde , helpe the Papists at a dead life . T is reason a Shepheard should rule Rome because a Shepheard did build it : & How Romulus by great reason the Pope shold be of a woluish nature cause a wolfe was nurse to his first 〈◊〉 for Romulus . Thogh al the scriptures doe assure that the corporall presence of Christ is in heaven , from whence hee will not come 〈…〉 , till 〈◊〉 comes to the generall iudgement : yet a 〈◊〉 Priest will dayly take vpon him to command him downe , 〈…〉 iuggle him into the 〈◊〉 , ● a cake or a piece of bread . Alexander the 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 were 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . But if his holynes had 〈◊〉 in 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 hee could not haue 〈◊〉 in such a matter . Heauen , Earth , Sea and land , being all 〈◊〉 before these latter times by the Emperors and the godly Bishop , There remaines only hell for the Pope to make a lawfull claime vnto . That Church that is so oposite to the doctrine of Christ cānot be Christs wife but the deuills vvhore . God made 〈◊〉 , the 〈◊〉 , & the Sea , and all things 〈◊〉 in them : the Pope made Purgatory without Gods Ieaue or know ledge therefore t is no reason that God should 〈◊〉 any thing to do there 〈◊〉 the Popes leaue . His holynes 〈◊〉 ouer all the deuils in this life , but t is but borowed ware , 〈◊〉 they paye him all his old score when he dies , & comes to 〈◊〉 host . Seauen goodly vertues , natu rally 〈◊〉 in his 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . His holynes neuer learned this of Christ , nor yet of 〈◊〉 . If you will know the 〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉 , any ordinary priest can tell you as well as 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 can tell a peny is the price of a pot of ale . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . It is a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , to 〈◊〉 flesh & 〈◊〉 all 〈◊〉 of fish , & other delicates , which they cause to swim in their 〈◊〉 with the strongest wine , which makes 〈◊〉 Holynes & all is crew , to look as leane as so many Brawnes , styed vp against Christ mas . * I meane the 7. deadly sinnes . * His 〈◊〉 knowes if 〈◊〉 should feede 〈◊〉 Sheepe of Christ 〈◊〉 such 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 he 〈◊〉 , they 〈◊〉 soone finde out his 〈◊〉 . * If the Pope should 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 drawne , it weld 〈◊〉 his 〈◊〉 , & his 〈◊〉 . both . I would wishe that this were not so , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 stand long in 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 for 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Authors 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 & 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . I thinke as you thinke , what thinke 〈◊〉 〈◊〉