A preter-plvperfect spick and span new nocturnall, or Mercuries weekly night-newes wherein the publique faith is published and the banquet of Oxford mice described. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A64195 of text R690 in the English Short Title Catalog (Wing T498). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 39 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 11 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A64195 Wing T498 ESTC R690 12075582 ocm 12075582 53561 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A64195) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 53561) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 239:E65, no 1) A preter-plvperfect spick and span new nocturnall, or Mercuries weekly night-newes wherein the publique faith is published and the banquet of Oxford mice described. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 20 p. s.n., [S.l. : 1643] A humorous imitation of the diurnals which began now to imitate Mercurius Aulicus, the Royalist Oxford weekly paper. Caption title. "Written at London by I.T."-p. 20. I.T. is John Taylor. cf. Wells, Henry W. Three centuries of drama. Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library. eng English periodicals -- Anecdotes A64195 R690 (Wing T498). civilwar no A preter-pluperfect, spick and span new nocturnall, or Mercuries weekly night-newes; wherein the publique faith is published, and the banque Taylor, John 1643 7196 8 0 0 0 0 0 11 C The rate of 11 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2002-07 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-09 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-10 Jennifer Kietzman Sampled and proofread 2002-10 Jennifer Kietzman Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-12 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion A PRETER-PLVPERFECT , Spick and Span New NOCTURNALL , or Mercuries Weekly Night-Newes ; wherein the Publique Faith is published , and the Banquet of Oxford Mice described . Saturday night . I Would have the Reader to understand that Night-worke and Day-worke is not all one , and as our London Diurnals ( although the Writers of them have Day-light to see to write truly , yet for all that they do often stumble into most grosse errours , which some are so bold as to call very Lyes : therefore my selfe that am fain to grope in the darke , ( or at the best in the Moon shine ) I hope , if I chance to ramble a little at one side now and then , it may be imputed to the darknes of the Times wherein it was written , and that want of eye-sight caused over-sight ; and whereas we begin our Diurnals on Mondayes , and Oxford Newes begins on Sundayes , I must be contrary to them both , and begin on Saturday-night , as followeth ; This Night ( without any vain flourishing , lying , or Whartoning ) there happened a very strange accident at Oxford , where near the upper end of the Butchers Row , within a quoytes cast of Carfax , there dwels one George Chambers a Stationer or Bookseller , who since these distracted Troubles hath bought and sold many Pamphlets of divers and contrary subjects ; some of them being of His Majesties part , and printed at Yorke , and at Oxford ; many of them were of the Parliament partie , and printed at London , so that there remained unsold in the said Shop of such sorts ( as were stale and past sale ) to the number of 160 , or thereabouts ; these small Trifles were laid one upon another confusedly ( like a pack of Cardes shuffled together ) so these Books were intermingled together , friends and foes , Truthes and Lyes , all in a heape , one amongst another , tied in a bundle with a packthred , the Owner intending to have every sort of them bound by themselves afterwards . All these Divisions being thus accorded with a cord , ( or parcell of Hempe , which will end all Divisions ) were laid upon a shelfe in the Shop ; to which Trusse , Fardle , Magazine , Masse , or Chaos of Confusion , an Armie of Mice came ( on the Saturday Night ) a Book-haling , where they valiantly assaulted this Bulwarke of Bookes , playing the Pioners part so valiantly , that with tooth and naile they entered the papyreall Suburbs , and never left undermining till they had made way , tyrannically tearing through the Territories of that Babel , gnawing and eating their passage with their sharpe fanges , ( as Hannibal did eate his way through the Alpes with Vineger ) many of them being almost choak'd with eating of three Words , onely Cavalier , Malignant , and Delinquent , the Frogges of Aegypt never had such a Banquet in Pharaohs Court , it would trouble Vitellius his Purveyers , Heliogabalus his Clerke of the Kitchin , or Sardanapalus his Master Cook to have made the Bill of fare , provided the acates , or drest the Diet , the severall Dishes were as followeth . ( I pray you pardon me if I erre in the manner of the service , for ( it was night and no order was kept in the eating ) but to the Diet , of which were all these severall Dishes following . These valiant Vermin fell first upon some famous Volumes , namely Plain English , the Observator , Mercurius Civicus , the Continuation , Sir Iohn Raies eight Speeches , Master Prin's 19th and last Volume , Master Speakers Parallel between a Parliament and Wife , Serjeant Wildes Argument for a new Great Seal , Sir Simon Dewes his Revelation , Master Callamie his purgation of perjurie , M. Marshall his Letter ( written to himselfe and devised by himselfe ) M. Pym's deliverance from the dangerous Plague plaister , ( which indeed was by his own device taken from a gall'd Horse backe ) after that the Mice began to nibble at Sir Benjamin Rudiard's Speeches , but finding them luke-warme ( too cold for the King , and too hot for the Parliament ) they left them , and fell to Anticavalerisme , then they fell to feed upon Queres , Mistakes , Feares , Iealousies , Malignancies , Doubts , Orders , Ordinances , Votes ; these they assaulted , and quickly made spoil of . Then there were many printed Bookes , wherein His Majestie had Declared His Gracious intention to all His loving Subjects , as Expressions , Declarations , Exhortations , Admonitions , Protestations , Imprecations , Proclamations , Demonstrations , and of all these the Mice would not eat one bit , but couragiously they fell upon Remonstrances , Letters , Messages , Passages , Treaties , Animadversions , Exprobrations , Exclamations , Objections , Questions , Answers , Replies , Replications , Reduplications , Quadruplications , Detractions , Distractions , Rebellions , Intelligences , Observations , Decrees , Orders , Lyes , Libels , Diurnals , Execrations , Resolves , Proofes , Disproofes , Extravagancies , Delinquencies , Cases , Causes , Clauses , Articles , ( all this while they touched not any Book or Paper that concerned the King , or wherein any thing was exprest either for His Majesties Service or Honour ) Then afresh they fall to 't again , gnawing and knabbling , Briefes , Breviates , Approbations , Amplifications , Transcriptions , Massacres , Petitions , Repetitions , Declamations , Supplications , Reservations , Degradations , Iustifications , Manifestations , Declarations , Molestations , Condemnations , Advertisements , Remembrances , Pamphlets , Sermons , Seditions , Fights , Battailes , Skirmishes , Suspicions , Submissions , Triumphs , Firings , Plunderings , Advices , Intelligences , Newes , Expositions , Propositions , Impositions , Transpositions , Acquisitions , Depositions , Suppositions , Compositions , Inquisitions , Commissions , and the Devill and all ; some Bookes also of Irish Rebellion were devoured as they had been Shamroys . Amongst which these remarkable Passages , there was one invective railing Pamphlet ( written by a namelesse Authour ) against Crosses , and any Signes , Figures , or Remembrances of any manner of Crosse whatsoever ; upon which crosselesse , untoward , overthwart Book the Mice fell in such curious manner that they gnawed it some foure inches down the backe , and as much on the foldings of the head , just into the perfect forme of a Crosse , almost as even as if it had been cut with a knife , which is a prediction that the very Vermin will rise against these villanous scandalous Pamphlet-mongers , and knabble their damnable Inventions , some all to tatters , and some into the formes and fashions of such laudable Figures , which they have railed against . These were the varieties of Dainties that were spoiled , devoured , sacked and ruinated at this banquetting Battail ; amongst which Viands three of Master Pym's Speeches were mistaken by the Mice to be kissing Comfits , Marmalad , and Suckets , ( for in sent and taste they were as sweet as Sugar Carrion ) but though they were delicious in the palate , it was found ( by wofull experience , that no Rats-bane could be more poysonous , nor any venome more banefull in operation , which is an emblem that though Mice are common pilfering Thieves , and do maintain their straggling Common-wealth onely by stealing , yet when they grow so audaciously impudent that they dare to feed upon Treason ( though it have a pleasant smacke ) yet it choaked them , and proved their bane , for many of them died , and it is certain most of them are destinated or bewitched like Traitors to be catch'd in a Trap , or fall into the clawes of the Cat , as Conspiratours , and wicked treacherous Rebels will drop into the Hangmans budget : but the Day begins to dawn , therefore I le give over till soon at Night : yet one thing more which was almost forgotten , there were two of Tailors Bookes in the bundle which the Mice touched not , the one was intituled New Preachers , New , and the other was a sweet well favoured Sermon upon Tobias and his Dog . Sunday Night . THis Night was very zealously consumed by the Brethren and holy Sisters , till between twelve and one of the clocke : amongst the Flocke there was a devout Gentlewoman ( one Mistris Fumpkins a Porters Wife in Pudding Lane ) who made a short Repetition of almost foure houres , upon Master Woodcockes Lecture the New-English Teacher at Laurence Church , at Laurence Lane end near Guild-hall , quasi All guile , where true Lye , very Lye , she did exceeding Lye , lay open Lye , how zealous Lye , fervent Lye , ardent Lye , and perswasive Lye , he had encouraged his Auditours , vehement Lye , to continue constant Lye , obstinate Lye , rebellious Lye , she said the Gentleman did sweat out most delicate Doctrine , and that he laboured like a Thrasher , and belaboured the Pulpit and Cushion extreme Lye , telling them that if they had not given Money or Plate towards the Cause , or laboured with the Shovell , Spade , or Barrow , for the raising of the Defensive ( most Offensive ) Workes and Fortifications to keep out the Armie of Protestants , Malignants , and Cavaliers , if they had done neither of these good Actions , they were not in the state of Grace ▪ or if they had not or would not hazard their Estates and Lives , to oppose , cast down , destroy , extirpe , and depose all kingly Government , all Church Order , and decencie , all Lawes and Authoritie , all obedience and loyaltie , all Christianitie , humanitie , and civill societie , that if they had not put any , or all of these vertues in practise there was small hope of any goodnesse in them , or any happinesse to befall them . When this good woman had finished her godly Repetition , there was wine in bottles , & cheare in bowles brought in , which the whole Assemblie fell upon religiously , consuming all in the way of Edification . The rest of the Night was spent with great diligence and studie , in devising who and where to break open and rifle the Houses of such as are doomed or condemned as Malignants , the purchase so gotten ( whether it be Money or Goods to be sold ) the High and Mightie , Magnificent Quartermain , the great Plunder-master Generall . His Fee is three pence in the pound , for all the pillage so lawfully taken , and it was affirmed , that at that rate his Vailes amounted to fifteen pounds in one day . Thus hath he raised his Trades from one degree to another , from a Brewers Clerke to a Preacher in a Mault-floore , and from a preacher to a most valiant Brownisticano , Plunderissimo , Generalissimo . Munday Night . ON Monday Night , about six of the clocke in the morning , the Sun being two houres high , there were Letters ( with some words in 'em ) directed from a trusty hand in Oxford to one Cut-beard a Barber in scalding Alley , one of which Letters contained briefly that the Cavaliers are in mightie distresse , and the Colledges in much want : but you must understand withall , that they want neither meat , manners , Ammunition , or courage ; and yet their case is lamentable , for since the taking of the sawcy Town of Teuxbury by the Parliament Forces , Mustard hath been at a greater price than Biefe at Oxford ; also their miserie is to be pittied ( if they were not Malignants , Delinquents , and true Subjects to the King ) for if there chance to come into the Market three hundred or more of Salmonds in a day , besides other fish and flesh in abundance , yet their poor & wretched estate is such , that it would grieve any tender heart to see what shiftes they are fain to make to get vineger so that it is manifest that our happinesse doth exceed the Malignant partie in all places , for we have a great deale more sawce than meat , and more meat by halfe than manners . This Night it was Ordered , that no Butter-women should come to the Citie with any Butter marked , printed , or molded with any formes of Crosses , upon pain that all the said Crosses should be demolished and melted , for the use of Cookes and Schul-boyes , & such like contemptible destructions ; for it was wisely taken into consideration that such Crosses were as dangerous and papisticall , as the Crosse in Cheapside , or the Crosses upon the ends of Saint Paul his Church , or any other Crosses whatsoever , they being by the judgements of the wise and opinions of the Godly held to be markes of the Beast , Roman badges , superstitious , Antichristian , idolatrous and abominable , onely such Crosses are allowed and beloved as are upon any manner of money , whether it be Papist or Protestant Princes Coine , the matter is indifferent . It is to be conjectured , that all the Crosse wayes in England must be made round , & that no Tailer shall dare to sit Crosse-legged upon pain of being plundered , for sitting superstitiously , and his Hell raked and ransacked of all his true and lawfully begotten Reliques and Remnants . Tuesday Night . THis Night three hundred Dragooners brought two old seditious and wicked Ministers out of Gloucestershire ; It is said they durst not onely presume to pray for the King openly , but also with all vehemencie exhorted the people to obey , love and honour Him , according to the rules and commands of Gods Word and the Lawes of the Land ; they were likewise taxed and accused for most wicked seducers of their Auditours to sue and seek for peace , and to be constant in the protestant Religion ; and further , they denied to give any money to raise or maintain War against His Majestie and the Orthodox Doctrine established : also it was proved against them , that they perswade many others to the like loyaltie and obedience : one of them was so bold as to preach against Rebellion , and cited some Authours for what he said , he quoted Casaubon , and Casaubon quoted Suetonius , that it was recorded that Brutus , Cassius , Cymba , Cas●a , and the rest of the Conspiratours against Caesar did all kill themselves with their own weapons which they wounded Caesar withall : upon this he made application to these Times , and perswaded the people to take heed , and never to dare to lift up their hands against their Soveraigne , for fear of the like or worse judgement to fall upon them . For which rebellious and distastfull kinde of Teaching they were committed to severall prisons , there to lodge amongst their Fellowes , whilest their Cattle must be seised , their Benefices suspended ; it is much hoped that Master Green the Feltmaker near Bridewell , or Gunne the preaching Cooper hard by the Bear-garden , or Carbrain the Anabaptist Dier on the backe side , shall have their places : their Families turned out of doores , their Houses rifled and ransacked , and their Goods carried to Plunderers Hall , there to be sold for the supportation and furthering of the good Cause , and themselves ( for examples and terrour of others to remain in Gaole till such times as they have learned better manners . It was also Voted this Night , that no man or woman should be capable to receive , have , hold , or keep , either goods , lands , meat , drinke , apparell , or any manner of necessaries whatsoever , except the said parties shall have the gaining & possessions of the said necessaries , either by the meanes of credit , ready money , love , or by the new made true and lawfull way of stealing and plundering . Moreover the said Tuesday Night the Garrison at Wallingford ( being all Carosists , Royalists , and Cavaliers , are in such distresse that Radishes and Onions are exceeding scarce , and ( to their further griefe ) Oranges and Limmons are dearer to them than to us , so that all manner of meates are like to be in good request amongst them , their best and only sawces are stomacke , pepper and salt . Also this Night was brought from Brainsford to Queenhithe that the Malignant partie did oppose his Excellencie , and that they would shew themselves the Benignant partie , for the service of God , their King , Countrey , and the Protestant Religion , and that we the true Anabaptisticall , Brownisticall , and zealous Reformers shall be as opposite to the Truth as the Truth is to us , which was Voted . Also this Night , there were papers found with some scriblings written by no bodie , wherein our London new Bulworkes , Rampires , Trenches and Workes were abused with nick-names , as they called our Fortifications but Twentyfications , and our Bul-workes , Cow-workes , because the women made them , but they said , the men were onely for the Ram-peire . It was also Voted that ( by reason of Feares and Jealousies that the Cavaliers would come and plunder the Citie ) in policie the people should be all plundered by the Parliament Forces , so that if the Cavaliers do chance to come , they shall finde nothing to take away , for we have a purpose to consume all by this kinde of stratagem of robbing one another . Wednesday Night . THis Night there were Pamphlets scattered , one of them was concerning Squares and Rounds , the Authour of Square-dealing was one Homo Quadratus , the other was Non Angulus Rotundus , wherein some worthy Citizens of Oxford were both taxed and vindicated , namely , T. Gol. Iacke of all Trades , W. G. a diligent zealous brother in warning and meeting at holy Conventicles , with many others meritorious brethren and sisters , who have forsaken Oxford , and their King , Religion , and Alleageance , who now suffer worthily for their holy Rebellion , as the Book of Homo Quadratus , doth most abusively and truly deliver and lay open . Also there came from the Presse A New Learned Weake Description of Weekly Newes ; it was so acute that it did cut and curry the Cavaliers , in such fearfull fashion , that a deafe man would rejoyce to hear it , this Volume of one sheet was called Mercurius Civicus , the Authour never wrote before that time , and died in his first Week of his Travels ; it is said by the Malignants , that he was most unfortunately choaked with seventeen neat and palpable Lyes , which he had carefully invented , and incerted in the said Book for the credit of our Armie , he is worse than dead , for his reputation is buried with this Epitaph , Here Mercurius Civicus lyes in his throat ; for we are resolved to believe any thing that makes for the advancing of our Cause , and likewise we suppresse and politiquely give no credit to such Newes or Losses as do make against us ; in briefe , we have lost a profitable Member by the death of this painfull Authour , but hang him , it is reported , that he is alive again , or the Devill in his likenesse ; however , it is to be conjectured , that he that was so nimble to abuse and tell the Malignant partieso roundly in one week , no doubt but if he had lived longer he would have bang'd them backe and side , beyond all beliefe and credit . It it ( almost ) certain , that Bruno Combertus the High and Mightie Emperour of Aethiopia , and Quoba Cond●na Pheodorwich the puissant King of the large Territories of the invincible and invisible Utopia , it is said , that they are both in our Narrow Seas with a thousand shippes , gallies , sloopes , and other Vessels for the War , they have brought two thousand Tunnes of Gold , Silver , pretious stones , and some Hangings , they are come to aid us against the Rebels that obey the King , they have brought five thousand Pieces of wooden Ordnance , powder more than can be counted , or to be spoken of , and shot beyond reckoning , with all other necessaries for War or Peace , they were feasted bravely aboord our Admirall ; and they will be ready to give Battail at Brumingham , as soon as ever the waters are high enough to bring the shippes thither . Newes came this Night , that the Authour of a seditious Pamphlet was taken at Lewis in Sussex , It was a Book wherein was declared the goodnesse and happinesse of the King , that ( beyond all example or record ) in 15 yeares Raigne had not any Nobleman , Gentleman , or any Subject that arose against him in any way of opposition or Rebellion , so that the Sword of Justice had no occasion to be drawn to cut of Treason ( a blessing unparallel'd in this Kingdom or any other for so long time ) till now ; & the Book said further , that when Augustus Caesar raigned , our Saviour was borne , and that the Emperour was Monarch of all the discovered Kingdomes of the World , and that Peace was then over the face of the whole Earth , which whole Earth Augustus commanded to be taxed , Luke 2.1 . Shortly after there was raised a Rebellion in Spain , ( by an Armie of Thieves ) under the command of one Crocotus ( a mad , hare-brain'd , desperate , ambitious fellow ) This Crocotus with his crew troubled Caesar , and committed many outrages upon peaceable people ; and to suppresse the Rebellion the Emperour caused Proclamations to be set forth , that whosoever could vanquish the Rebels , or take their Generall Crocotus and bring him alive or dead , should have twenty five thousand Crownes for his service , and pardon withall for any former faults committed : as soon as Crocotus heard of this Proclamation , he began to fear that some of his own Souldiers would cut his throat , or surprise and deliver him to Caesar , for so great a reward as was proclaimed ; upon which consideration , he wisely disguised himselfe , ran away from his Armie , and fell at Caesars feet , claiming the benefit of the Proclamation , for he had brought Crocotus alive , and so revealed himselfe , and was received into grace and favour , mending his manners contrary to all expectation . The application of this storie was , that it was desired that every offender would imitate Crocotus . Thursday Night . THis Night much Time was spent in drinke , smoake , and talke , at the Signe of the Man in the Moon without Dowgate ; where after some halfe a score rouses , every one began to talke of that which they had nothing to do withall , amongst the rest one ignorant fellow was bold to aske what manner of thing the Publique Faith is , and what the reason is that it is laid to pawn for Money every where , but ( that which made him most wonder was ) wherefore any one man would be so mad as to adventure to lend any thing upon it , ( except upon especiall good and lawfull grounded Reasons ) therefore he desired to be satisfied ●●wne● , his kinde of Publique Faith is , and how farre 〈◊〉 powe● 〈◊〉 it may extend . To which most sawcy and treacherous 〈…〉 lea●ed and worthy Welwisher to the Lowest Uppermost House replied , as followeth : My small Friend ( quoth he ) I will tell thee briefly what this new Publique Faith is , it is called Publique because it is common to all , and hath communitie in all , and to take away , waste , and consume all ; it is Generall , Catholique , and Universall , not peculiar to any man , particular not private to any person , there is no man hath any proprietie in it , more than he hath in his goods and lands ( as at this time the case is ) so that it is neither Thine nor Mine , but every mans ; it hath absolute power to borrow money , and to force unbelieving people to be exceeding desperate Creditours ; and whosoever is so wickedly minded as to presume to deny or delay what the Publique Faith demands , such refractory persons must be robb'd ( of all they have sometimes ) some have been so bold as to call it plundering , but instead of the word stealing , there is a pretty nickname given to it , called Seasing ; for this strange Faith hath that invisibilitie in it , not onely to tolerate Thiefts and Rapines , but to allow Burglaries , Fellonies , Murders , Rebellions , ( and some parcels of Treasons ) to be no breach of Lawes , and to lay all unruly persons in prison as will not be contented quietly ( without grumbling ) to be rifled and undone . It hath likewise power ( with the fame extorted or stolne goods or monies taken ) to raise War ▪ to transforme Colliers into Captaines , Broken Merchants to Colonells , trade fallen Tapsters into Tyrannicall Rodomontadoes , and these brave Man-divells shall be the Leaders of such Troops of unresistable , unconquerable Mirmidones that shall inforce all men to the obedience of the Publike faith . This Faith , is neither Protestant , Lutheran , Calvinist , Papist , or any kinde of Christian Faith , The Turke hath no faith to follow it , or the Moores to follow it , it is a faith that is full of workes , ( whereby it is notoriously meritorius ) and commonly it doth no harme to bad men ( for it leaves them to the judgement of another world ) it onely by afflictions tries the vertuous strength of their patience , as do desire peace , and to be obedient to their Sovereigne , and would willingly live quietly in such manner as God and the Lawes of this Kingdome ( grounded and derived on and from Gods Word ) hath established for the government and tranquilitie both of Church and State , such men as these , and none else but such as these are opprest , rifled , ransacked , imprisoned , masacred , and beggered by the mightie meanes of the Publique Faith : for it all the Goales in England were searched ( I mean such Goales as are under the high and mightie command of the Publique Faith ) all those that lie in those Gaoles are laid there by that Faiths command for no other faults , but for being true Protestants and loyall Subjects to their Soveraigne , on the contrary there is not any Anabaptist , Brownist , Schismaticke , Seperatist , or Rebell in any trouble or prison under the command of the Publique Faith . And whereas ( of it selfe ) it hath not power , except by direction of legal Statutes & Ordinances , joyned ( and protected ) by regal power and Authorietie , yet it assumes , ( or presumes to take to it selfe , and make of it selfe what Power it list , either regal or legal , what shal most advance the selfe will of it selfe : it is so potent , as it can maintain it selfe in magnificent pompe , by forcible borrowing , and withall it is so just as to pay double ( with emptie promises ) it can turne Orthodox prayer and preaching into pedlary prating , also Libels , Lyurnals , and scandalous railing Pamphlets are not onely tolerated by the Publique Faith , but all and ( worse than all this ) hath been countenanced and encouraged by exalting the insulting swarme of mechanicke or trencher Pulpiteers , that what betwixt the medley of their seditious gallimaufrey hotch-potch doctrine , and the meer froathie inventions compiled and dispersed in great Volumes for pence a piece ; it is most certain , that God hath not escaped blasphemie , or the King calumnie , the people unspeakable miserie , the estate obloquie , and the whole Kingdome infamie , to the most contemptible scorne of all Nations . The Publique Faith can frame and devise Navies of shippes , Armies of men and amunition , and Letters and Messages from the Kings of Denmarke , France , and Spain , ( of which Letters those Kings never knew , and those Shippes , Armies , and Armes are invisible , or like Castles in the ayre ) this Faith can also invent supposed Battailes , Fights , and triumphant Victories , where never stroke was strook or blow given , and it can command Bels to be rung , Bonefires to be inflamed , and publique Thankesgiving in Churches , and proclaim it selfe victorious , when it is most miserably and bravely beaten , and that it killed seven hundred with the losse of two men and one boy , and halfe a Horse , whereby the credulous seduced people have their giddy braines tost to and fro , from Jealousies to Feares , from Feares to Hopes , and from Hopes to lend and give Money as if they were mad , and in so laying out their Money , they deservedly purchase their miserie . Moreover , this Faith cannot be perswaded by any meanes to endure or abide a King , especially if he be a good one , or will not be such an one as this Faith would make him , but if he do but claime his right , or stand upon lawfull termes for his Royall and just Priviledge and Prerogative ; if he be so unruly , that he will not be ruled by this Publique Faith , he must then be robb'd and plundered of all that ever he hath , or at least of as much as this Faith can lay hold on , for it hath power with the Kings Amunition , Armes , Shippes , Money , Revenue , Townes , Houses , Castles , or any thing that is the Kings , in the Kings name to shoot bullets against the King , and fight against the King , for the preservation and service of the King . Thus the Publique Faith hath surpassed Pharaoh's Magicians in Legerdemain , it hath trasform'd our Land into the Isle of Guls temporally , and old England into New England spiritually . It hath made mens wealths and alleageance , crimes and causes , of their losse of estates and lives ; it hath put down all Spirituall Courts , so that there is no punishment for the sweet sin of Lecherie , whereby Fornication , Adulterie , Bigamie , Poligamie , and Incest with brasen uncontrolled fronts , make whores , knaves , cuckolds , bawdes , bastards , thieves , and beggars by the hundreds , so that if this world lasts and this geer go forward , we shall have Plato's Common-wealth here , and concerning our wives , we shall all turne to be Nicholaitans ; by which brave unbridled Libertie , Hey down derry Downing , Roome for an Hackney Presbyterean , that whilest his wife lay sicke , got the Nurse and the Maidservant both with childe , but some satisfaction was made , for the Wife died , he married the Nurse , concerning the other plumpe Girle , some course was taken , but all 's one for that , the Parish is big enough to keep both the Cow and the Calfe . Thus can the Publique Faith taxe a reverend Clergie with corrupted Simonie , and yet it selfe can make money of all things , it can turne Obedience into Rebellion , and Loyaltie into Treason , it can molest a good King , disturbe and ruinate Kingdomes , and in conclusion to wear it selfe so thred-bare , that all the Cloath-workers in England will never be able to set a new nap upon it . Thus have I declared the almightie and omnipotent sway of the Publique Faith , yet I have not related any things concerning particulars , but onely touch'd at the generall Heads of the potencie , power , actions , force , and vertues of it , the Day breakes , and our Authour writes nothing but Nightworkes ( or Deeds of Darkenesse ) so , Good morrow my Masters . Friday Night . THis Night lamentable Newes was brought that Prince Ruperts Troopes did most unmercifully plunder a poor old woman within foure miles of South-East Wickham , the case was pitifull as it was related , that the woman kept a blinde , smoakie , drie Alehouse , neare the High-way , and that two Tinkers had been there and dranke all her Ale the day before the Armie marched that way , but the next day the Souldiers being on their march demanding drinke for their money , the old woman told them , that she had none left , but the Souldiers being offended , in a revenging manner , entered her house , and plundered it of all the water which she had provided to brew withall , but took nothing at all from her besides , but the poor distressed Ale-wife cried out , and wrung her hands , saying , she was undone , she was undone , utterly undone , at which instant the Prince comming by , and hearing the deplorable noyse of the woman , demanded what was the cause that made her crie out so extremely , she answered , that the Souldiers had been the breaking of her , by depriving her of the benefit of two Trades at once , videlicet , a Brewer and an Ale-wife , by drinking up all her water , whereupon his Highnesse threw her an Angell , and rode away laughing at her miserie : some say that Boy the Dog of War wagged his taile merrily in a jeering manner at the womans calamitie ; and this was the most extraordinary outrage that the Prince or his Armie committed at that or any other time , for the Malignants say it is no robberie to plunder Rebels . But now be amazed , astonished , and possest with wonder and admiration , and if ever we had cause to be beside our selves , out of our wits , or starke mad with joy , now is the time ; there was this Night brought to light the most horrible , terrible , detestable , cruell Plot that ever was contriv'd since the dayes of Achitophel , the Sicilian Even-song comes short of it , the Massacre of Paris comes not neare it , the Spanish intended Invasion was a toy to it , and the Powder Plot was but a blast or puffe in comparison of it ; but I hold my Reader too long before I come to the unpurposed purpose , or marrow of the matter , which was as followeth : This Night our watchfull Centinels , closely and carefully examined all that came neare them , and if any were so sawcie as to say they were for God and the King , there was a a strict Order for them , for being dangerous persons to the State , about nine of the clocke , or two houres before or behinde : a tall fellow disguised , with a water tankard on his shoulder , stopt with a clout , as the manner is , which he had filled at the Conduit , as he said , falsly , for it was proved afterwards to be wilde-fire-water , this audatious Herostratus knowing where a Souldier stood with his Musket , which Souldier had a pound of Powder in a paper loose in his pocket , which the Villain having notice of , he suddenly stepped to him , and plucked out the stopple of his Tankard , whereat the water gushed forth with such violence that it fired the Powder , and blew the Souldier from the Standard in Cheape over the houses into Milkestreet , as farre as Saint What d'ye call hims Church , where the learned Master Case teaches , the wicked wretch was taken with his watery Engine , and upon examination he confest , that he and seventy nine more of his fellowes were hired by the Malignant partie to fire the Citie in eleven score and twelve places with this new-found stratagem of Water-tankards , for the which Plot the Traitour was committed to Waltham house neare Bedlam , and it is thought that publique Thankesgiving must be given for this great Deliverance . This Night also there came Newes of two strange disasters which happened at Saint Albans , the the one was of one Iohn Robotham Esquire , whom the Malignants do call Justice Ignorance , this worthy Squire to expresse his Loyaltie did oppresse all such as any way did love or honour the King , for which purpose his Clerke and himselfe did drive a great Trade in buying and selling of Mittimusses , Warrans , Bindings over , Withdrawings of Recognisance , Commitments , Releasings , Fees , Plunderings , and gentle Rewards , by which meanes he got a wicked deale of money ; this mightie bottomelesse Justice Robotham did for the service of His Majestie take away all the Armes and Amunition that any of His Majesties Friends had , and with the same Armour and Armes so plundered , he armed the Rebels , and yet all that was done by him was done for the Kings service ; amongst the rest of the Armes he had an head-piece of his own which he took great pride in , for it was light , bright , white , and ( at the least Elder-gun proofe ) it was his great Grandfathers Morion ( a Murrein on 't ) at the siege of Southampton in Cumberland , indeed there was a privie search made for it , ( for the very house of office was examined ) but no finding could be found , and because there were so many Wenches with childe in the Town , [ Mistris Justice ] Master Justice Ignorant's Wife protested by her Halliday and Womanhood that she had rather have lost his Cod-piece than his Head-piece . Also there was one Thomas Sadler who had formerly been a fractur'd Linnen-Draper , retired to a Countrey conversation , his Lawn transform'd into Land , his Holand metamorphosed into Zeal-And himselfe quite devoured by invisible uncharitable Devotion ; to expresse the ardencie , fervencie , vehemencie , and furiositie of his love to the observation of Church Orders , upon a Fast-day he went into his Barne where he congregated his own people and some others , there being a great Bucking-tub brought into the Barne , the said Tub having two holes which a cole-staffe was to be put through upon occasion , through which holes a rope was fastened , and Master Sadler being in the Tub , the rope was cast over a beame , wherewith he commanded himselfe to be hoised up , that he might make his preachment , where after nine Psalmes , and a stretch'd out five quarters prayer , he began and proceeded with singular and single Doctrine to perswade his Audience to be loyall in Rebellion , and obedient in opposing all Law and Order , which Godlesse instructions the Assemblie did not onely give large eares unto , but also edified beyond measure thereby ; at last he being suddenly inspired and transported with a fierie Enthumiasmicall rapture , he began to denounce destruction and confusion against the Cavaliers , and with his violent expressions , and agilitie of action , in stamping the word Damnation hard under his foot , he thumped out the bottome of his hanging Pulpit , ( whereby his foundation was as bottomlesse as Hell , of his Doctrine ) and withall fell down in the threshing floor , where he lay a good while in a tranuce ; some say he was bruised , but the wisest of his Audience do believe that he was in private contemplation with the Spirit . And thus upon the Fast-day was this admirable piece of faste and loose . It was much disputed in the House what the true meaning of the word Malignant is ( that is so often repeated in Print , and Pulpit ) one said , it was derived from two Latine words , Malè lignum , an evill wood , a crooked , knottie , sappie , unserviceable timber , good onely to make Gallouses . FINIS . Written at London by I. T. for those that will reade , and are to be bought where they are to be sold .