Labour in vain: or, What signifies little or nothing Viz. I. The poor man's petitioning at court. II. Expectation of benefit from a covetous man in his life-time. III. The marriage of an old man to a young woman. IV. Endeavours to regulate mens manners by preaching or writing. V. Being a Jacobite. VI. Confining an insolvent debtor. VII. Promise of secrecy in a conspiracy. VIII. An enquiry after a place. Ward, Edward, 1667-1731. 1700 Approx. 60 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 16 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-07 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A67510 Wing W744 ESTC R219389 99830867 99830867 35328 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A67510) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 35328) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1879:07) Labour in vain: or, What signifies little or nothing Viz. I. The poor man's petitioning at court. II. Expectation of benefit from a covetous man in his life-time. III. The marriage of an old man to a young woman. IV. Endeavours to regulate mens manners by preaching or writing. V. Being a Jacobite. VI. Confining an insolvent debtor. VII. Promise of secrecy in a conspiracy. VIII. An enquiry after a place. Ward, Edward, 1667-1731. [2], 29, [1] p. printed, and sold by most booksellers in London and Westminster, London : 1700. Attributed by Wing to Edward Ward. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng 2003-02 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2003-03 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-05 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2003-05 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-06 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Labour in Vain : OR , WHAT SIGNIFIES Little or Nothing . VIZ. I. The Poor Man's Petitioning at Court. II. Expectation of Benefit from a Covetous Man in his Life-time . III. The Marriage of an Old Man to a Young Woman . IV. Endeavours to Regulate Mens Manners by Preaching or Writing . V. Being a Iacobite . VI. Confining an Insolvent Debtor . VII . Promise of Secrecy in a Conspiracy . VIII . An Enquiry after a Place . LONDON Printed , and Sold by most Booksellers in London and Westminster , 1700. A DIALOGUE Between the AUTHOR AND THE PRINTER . Printer . WHat Title do you design to give this Book ? Author . Labour in Vain : Or , What Signifies Little or Nothing . Printer . Then I 'm like to make a very hopeful Bargain this Morning ; and grow Rich like a Jacobite , that would part with his Property , for a Speculative Bubble . Author . Be not angry ; for the same Estimate and Epithet the greatest Divines give to the whole World. Printer . I don 't like their Characters , or Epithets ; f●r I believe there 's a real value in our Coine ; and I know little of their Spiritual Notions , neither will I puzzle my Head about what they tell me I can't rightly Vnderstand . Auth. I could convince you , that you are in the wrong , in being so Indifferent about Enquiring into the Cause , Nature , and Value of Things . Prin. I am , in this point , a Quaker ; and will not by Reason be Convinc'd . Pray , Sir , tell me , am I to Buy a Shop-full of Empty Pastboard-Boxes , or not ? Auth. Sir they are full . Print . Why then do you put over the Door , That the Goods Signify Little , or Nothing ? 'T is a strange sort of Information , to expect to get Customers by . Auth. I had several Reasons that induc'd me to put this Title to my Book ; and not to keep you longer upon the Fret , I will tell you some of them . First , The natural inquisitive Humour that reigns in all Mankind after Novelty ; for no sooner will the Title be Read , or Cry'd , but the Reader , or Hearer , will query what it 's about , conclude it some Maggot or other , and to be satisfi'd , will Buy it ; so you 'll gain by his Curiosity . Then I 've known many dull Books that have sold well , by the help of an Ingenious , or Whimsical Title . Puffe me , Puffe mo , Puffe cannot stay , Colle molle Puff ; the Odness and Maggot of that Cry , has sold the Fellow many a Tart ; for many Persons who only out of Curiosity have peep'd into his Basket , have found something or other that pleas'd them . Besides the Title is a pro po , because the Subjects I write about , tho' they make a great bustle in the World , yet their Conclusions , or Produce , are very Frivolous , Insignificant , and answer not the End design'd . Print . To what purpose did you spend your time in Writing on such Subjects ? And why should I be at the labour of Printing , or charge of Paper ? Auth. Print it by all means ; it may imploy some to add to it , the History of the Printer . Print . What , that my Pains was Labour in Vain , and Charge signify'd Little or Nothing ? I am mightily oblig'd to you for the method you have taken to Expose me to Laughter : But let it prove as it will , if I Buy the Devil , I 'll try to Sell him . But if your Whim ●on't take , I 'll never buy Goods again before I 've look'd over the whole parcel . Labour in Uain : OR , What Signifies Little or Nothing . The Poor Man's Petitioning at Court. HOW Fruitless and Empty the Requests of the Poor have return'd at Court , whether they have been for I●stice or Mercy , is apparent from a Thousand Instan●e● : And one I 'll relate to you , without Peevish 〈◊〉 Reflecting upon any particular Court , for the Pauper's Petition is alike neglected ( by what I 've Seen , Hear'd , or Read ) in every Court. A Gentleman ( fitly Qualifi'd ) who by permission had Purchased an Imploy for Life , under a King , and to his Successors , was , upon a Successor's coming to the Crown ( tho' he had taken Oaths of Allegiance , and done what was requisite , according to Law , for Qualification ) to feed the Avarice , or gratify the wicked Bounty of a certain Person , to whose care the Managery was intrusted , was turn'd out , with only the Madmans humourous Reason , Sic Iub●o , sic Volo . By which unjust ( at least unkind ) usage , he had very little left to maintain himself , Wife , and four Children . At once his Quondam Friends sounded Retreat , Wou'd scarce afford good Words , and mu●h less M●at To see his Face , they 'd never after Care , As if his very Looks Insectious were : Like Careful Bees , to their own Hives they f●ew : As he from Fortune , they from him withdrew ▪ I cannot forbear in this place putting the Epithet Wicked , to that Generous Virtue , Bounty ; since here 't was a powerful Robbery committed upon one Mans Right , to seem Bounteous in a Bequest to another . The depriv'd Man hurt , complain'd with all the respect a Supplicant should use , but his Prayer was answer'd with a Negative . Afterwards he serv'd that King without Pay in His Army abroad ; and upon the death of the Possessor of his Imploy , he again pray'd to be Restor'd ; upon which prayer he had an Order for the next Vacancy ; which when happen'd , a certain Gentleman , who but a short time before had presented the Depriv'd Man to the King , in the Army , and had given it under his Hand , That he had been turn'd out without cause , and that he serv'd as a Volunteer ; gave it again under his Hand , That the poor Petitioners alledging to have serv'd in the Army , was a mistake ; and his last Act ( the former , in good manners , I 'll believe being forgot ) was credited ; so Order and Petition were both dismiss'd , to the Ruine of the Man , and his Family . OBSERVATION . By this true Relation is evident , the little success that is to be expected from the poor unhappy Man's Petitioning against a Man in Power ; for when he pleases , he Blackens and Misrepresents an Underling ; and what a Favourite says , is easily believ'd . Then tell me how the Poor shall find relief , Or gain a Cure for Vndeserved Grief , Their Fate depending on a King's Belief . In such a Case , a Prince is the easiest Man in the World to be Impos'd on , considering the vast multitude of Affairs that Center in His Ordering and Manage , the particular Cognizance of all which , 't is impossible for Him to take ; for upon a kind of Necessity He is oblig'd to have His knowledg of several Affairs from the report that those about Him are pleas'd to make ; and what Man will tell a Story to his own disadvantage ? And who can tell it but the Favorite , whilst the poor Petitioner is debarr'd Access ? Before a Fav'rite , none shall be believ'd And 'gainst the Rich , 't is hard to be Believ'd : In vain you offer up an empty Prayer , Which Fattens not the Courtier , or his Heir ; Something that 's Solid , and of real Good , ( At least for such by Worldlings understood ) Must be presented , if you 'd favour find , Which rarely warms th' Endowments of the Mind ; But to the Fortunate , and Rich are kind . Since Money weighs down Iustice and Desert , The Poor's Desires don't signifie a Fart . Expectations of Benefit from a Covetous Man in his Life-time . QVis Pauper ? Avaras : An admirable and proper Answer to the Question ; because the Covetous Man wanteth that which he hath , as well as that which he hath not , as proves true by the following relation . A Friend of mine ( if a Covetous Man can be so ) of Gentile Extraction , and sutable Educa●i●● , having a competent Estate of four hundred Pounds per Annum , an● a thousand Pounds in Money left him , which Revenue as far exceeded his desire of Living , as it came short of his desire of Acquiring ; for he no sooner had the Possession , but he retrench'd the usual Expences of the Family ; he sav'd Charge , by putting away the Mouths that caus'd it ; and the only Servant that he kept , liv'd almost like a Bear in Greenland , on the Nourishment he had got in the Summer of the Fathers Life time . In short , no Anchorite liv'd more sparing than he , unless it were upon anothers cost , and then 't was a covetous humour made him Eat and Drink like a Glutton and a Drunkard . In all his Actions he was Base ; He would Steal his own Goods , to make his Servant pay for them : By such sordid ways his Wealth was accumulated ; he sold the Mansion-House , because the Purchase-Money would yield a greater profit than the Rent amounted to ; and retir'd from a great House ( not from Plenty and Abundance ) to a less , that he could not Rent out : By such Niggardly Methods , in proc●ss of time , he had heap'd up a very great Treasure . There was a Young hopeful Gentleman , his Nephew , who expected to ●●ap the fruits of his Covetousness , that often came to visit him ; and w●s always Complaisant , sooth'd , and commended every Humour , which I take to be the right way of Pleasing ; for certain ( at least du●ing the time of prevailing Fancy , or Action ) every Man is pleas'd with his own Sentiments , or Doings ; so consequently loves to have them approv'd , and applauded . He gr●●●●i'd the Misers Appetite at his own Expence , his Pantrey and his ●ellar were always ready to gratify his least motion of desire , his C●●ch and Horses attended his occasions ; he baulk'd his own Hu●ou● , neglected his pleasant and facetious Companions , and con●●●● himself to Oblige his Sordid Temper . Tho' it must be confess'd S●●●-interest mov'd him , yet it pleas'd the Wretch , when he advised him to secure his Treasure , that no Rachel , or other , might Steal his God. He Christned his Son of the Iew 's Name , he did , what not ? to Oblige him . He defended him from Robbers at the peril of his own Life : Nay more , He justify'd his base Principles , contrary to his 〈◊〉 : But all the Returns that were paid to these Services , ●e●e Mountain-Promises , whilst in his Cups ; but Molehills , or no ●erformances , when Sober . Afterwards this Obliging Gentleman fell by misfortune into Straits and Necessities , so that his Family wanted convenient Subsistance ; yet the other pitiless , and unconcern'd , return'd no good Nature , no Charity , no grateful Act , for all his generous Obligations ; not so much as even common Humanity would out of Mercy oblige a very Iew to show to a Stranger in Misery . After the Miser had Bought what he had left , for half the value , he forbid him his House , and whenever he met him , he pass'd by him as a Stranger . At last , Intestate , the miserable Rascal Dies ; for the very Thought of disposing of his Riches , would have been as Mortal as a Cannon Shot : So Volens N●lens , what he left , fell to this Gentleman . But I had almost forgot to tell you , That his Jealous Temper ( which must accompany the Covetous , let their Avarice be fix'd on what it will ) made him Bury a great part of his Money and Writings , so that a great deal was lost for want of the knowledge of the Concealments . OBSERVATION . A Covetous Desire is properly applicable to self , for even when I seem to desire the Advantage of another , there is something of self in the matter ; and it must be allow'd that he I wish well , is my Friend ; tho' anothers being my Enemy , only makes him so ; so by my desire , I gratifie my own Inclination in my Friends Advantage , or please my Anger , in my Enemies Disadvantage ; a Covetous Mans Thoughts center in his own Prosit , and what good goes besides him , he counts by Providence wrong apply'd ; then 't is Idle to expect , that he that Covets all , should frustrate his vast Design , by giving me a part ; as Covetousness is a Selfish humour , 't is impossible it should be diffusive . The Misers Wish , is of a vast Extent , And would Engross , beneath the Firmament , All that it likes ; still Covetous , would try To Merchandize with Spirits of the Sky . His Wishes only to Advantage tend , From Self's their Origin , in Self they End ; So cannot be Diffusive to a Friend . In Vain a Favour you expect from such , You may as well expect one from the D — . The Marriage of an Old Man to a Young Woman . THe mutual Disapointments that commonly thwart , and hinder the Happiness expected by the Marriage of an Old Man to a Young Woman , the following Story sets forth : An Ancient Gentleman , whose head Age had Powder'd like a Beau's , who in his Sp●ightly Youth could at Sight answer the Expectations of the most Lascivious Female , as Doctors Commons and Parish-Books could Witness , he had liv'd a Libertine Life , and had never thoughts of Marriage , till he was Three Score and Ten , when he happen'd into the Company of a Beautiful Young Woman , whose Charms , and Behaviour bl●w away the Ashes that covered the Fire that remain'd in the Brands end , so that it made a Faint Blaze , which ( of late unaccustom'd ) warmth made the ( willing to be Deceiv'd ) Senior fancy that there was yet a great Stock of Vigour in his Veins , that would answer the ends of Marriage ; thus when Lechery had left his Tail , and agitated only by Desire , fancy'd mighty Performances in his Lustful Brain , he Courts this Lady for his Bride , who had not the Charms to renue an old Aeson's Age , sensible that his expiring Flame could not long last , he was Impatient of delay ; so by continual Courtship he try'd to watch his Mistress , like a Hawk , into Compliance ; but 't was perswasive Money that made her Consent to endure a Lenten Pennance , in Expectation of an happy Easter after his Death . In short , for filthy Lucre Married him , and submitted herself to his ●eeble Threescore and Ten Years Attempts , after his fluttering all the Wedding Day , they were put to Bed , ( I think that word suitable to his Age ) and after Sack-Posset Eat , and Stocken thrown , the Company withdrew , and left them to themselves . When he fail'd in Performance , she was frustrated in her Expectation , so that their Marriage signified Little or Nothing . OBSERVATION . The Answer I make , to those that will say , Every Body knew this Story before , is , That tho' I pretend to Write Novel's , I don't Novelties , but to dress up something that for one Meal may be Pleasing , and of grateful Gust ; and perhaps some Observation may be made from this Story worthy Self-Application : But tho' the Reader do not , I will , to continue the Method I first Design'd . To Attempt any thing , which nothing but ( almost ) a Miracle can make Successful , is Folly and Madness ; and little less , can move a Man of Threescore Years and Ten to do — to any purpose . An Old Man Marrying a Young Woman , is like laying down a good Joynt of Meat , to an almost Consumed Fire , which will blaze a while , but by the sudden decay , for want of Fuel , will make it but luke Warm : He is counted a Blockhead that pretends to set up a Trade , when he is past Labour , without he takes an able Journeyman ; and I believe in this Case , no Man will willingly admit of a Journeyman to manage his Commodity , and without one ( by effects may be judg'd ) the Marriage will signifie little towards Procreation . Disappointments must happen to the Man from Natural Consequence , notwithstanding the mighty belief of his Abilities . I have known from Powerful Fancy , when a Child has been tyred with Walking , yet Imagining he Rode when he had a Switch between his Legs , would Imitate the Trot and Gallop , for a small while , without complaining ; but presently the weakness and Imbecility of his Feet , made him sensible his Natural Strength ( tho' agitated by Desire ) could not carry him to his desired home : So the Old , whose Vigorous heat is Spent , may imagine if he get a Cock Horse , how furiously he 'll Ride ; but like the tyred Child , his Natural decay will appear . The Man being deceived , by Consequence the Woman must ; and what sad Effects do such Disappointments cause , are Evident from the future carriage of both Man and Woman : He grows Jealous , unwilling another should Feed , tho' he himself can't make use of the Dainties ; then the Poor abused Woman is watch'd , perhaps confin'd , and her whole Life made uneasie . Like a poor Man ( cajoll'd by mighty Promises ) transported to the West-Indies ; when he comes there , finding himself a Slave , to the Beck and Rod of an Imperious Patron , being fast bound by Contract , has no hopes of Liberty , but from the Expiration of time ; such is the Condition of a Young Woman , who flatter'd with the belief of Fond Doting Dalliance , and Plenty , is betray'd into the Slavery of Marriage , with an Old Fellow , she has no hopes of D●liverance from , but by the Expiration of her Disagreeable Husbands Life ; her Youthful heat meeting with the Icy coldness of his Age , causes thunder in the House : Continual Jars forbid all hopes of Peace . When Waves Swol'n high by force of mighty Wind , They fiercely meet , and are in Bat●●c joyn'd ; The frothy Salt , with motion 's set on Fire ; But Wash'd with Native Water , soon expire : So toss'd by Billows of remaining Lust , Which Shuffles up and down the Aged Dust , Salt Sparks are blown into a sudden Flame , But Ages Moisture soon does quench the same . The old Mans boasting Promises in Love , Do little signifie , as Women prove ; 'T is Vapour all , and Limber as my Glove . In Vain the Aged Man hopes to Receive Blessings , which only Spritely Youth can give ; In Vain a Women does expect a Trade , From one whom Stingy Age has Bankrupt made ; Such Disappointments happen to them both , Which makes the Marriage prove of little worth . The Reverse of this Story , which is an Old Woman Marrying to a Young Fellow , is to the full as ridiculous , and signifies as little to a mutual Content . Endeavours to Regulate Mens Manners by Preaching or Writing . THE present Age is not so very Vertuous , but that we may meet with examples in almost every Company and Conversation , that demonstrates the little Efficacy the well design'd Writings and Publick Teaching of Good Men have had , towards Reformation of Manners , and the Practice of Vertue . But not being willing to expose particularly the Insensibility that appears either in my own Life , by not Amending , and Correcting my reprov'd Actions , or in the general Practice of any Fellow-Country-men ; I have pitch'd upon the History of Socrates , so far as it agrees with my Design ; that is , to show how little the good Documents he Taught , signified to the Reform or Benefit of the Athenians , and the Odium they caused from those he endeavour'd to Amend . Socrates , who was Born in a small Village called 〈◊〉 ▪ under the Athenian Jurisdiction ; is commonly called the A●●eni●n , to distinguish him from several others , of that Name , one of which Wrote the History of Argos , another was a Bat●ynia● , &c. This Socrates the Athenian , was taught Philosophy und●r Anaxagoras , he was a Man of great Temperance , of a strong Constitution , one who enquir'd into the Nature of Sublime things , Studied Humanity , Practised and Publickly Preached , to poor and Rich , Vertue and Good Manners ; to be silent , and not to reprove Wicked Men , he counted a Crime against the Gods ; to Discourse of Vertue , he esteem'd as a great Happiness ; and imploying himself almost constantly in instructing of the Citizens , he neglected mightily his private Affairs , so that he was Poor , and told the Athenians , that he ought to be Maintained out of the Prytaneum , or Publick Store-House : That he ought to be Rewarded more then a Victor , for the Conqueror could but make them appear to be Happy , when by his Instructions in Vertue ( if Practised ) they would really be so , not only from present Serenity of Mind , but in Futuro ; for he believed an Immortality of the Soul , and the very day he Died , he imploy'd in Discoursing of , and by Convincive Arguments to his Friends prov'd the Souls Indivisibility , and Consequently Immortality ; he Taught as he Believ'd , that nothing of Evil could happen to a Good Man , his Concerns being taken Care of by the Gods ; but notwithstanding his Eloquent perswasive Speeches upon so Noble a Subject , as Vertue , which for its own Sake , ought to attract Mens Inclinations , and Affections ; the Athenians were so far from Reforming from their Accustom'd Immoralities , that Miletus , Anytus , and others , accused him , as Guilty of a Capital Crime , for Instructing the People in the ways of Vertue , and for Reproving them , when they Acted contrary to Morality and good Manners : They were so Exasperated against him for his Good Endeavours to introduce Honesty and Piety , Inconsistent with their Practice , that without a Confronting Witness , they Condemn'd him to Death ; which Sentence was put in Execution by a Draught of Poyson . By which Barbarous usage , 't is Apparent that all his Te●●hing signified little towards the Reformation of the Lives of ●is Fellow Citizens . OBSERVATION . Tho Licentiousness is more agreeable , and facile to the deprav'd Nature of Mankind ; yet almost every Age hath produc'd a Preaching Experienc'd Solomon , a Socrates , a Plato , or some such Good Men , who have Endeavour'd by Writing and Teaching , back'd with the Inducing Reasons of a present Serenity of Mind , that must upon N●cessity Accompany Vertuous Actions , or the Glorious Prospect of an Unconceivable Reward hereafter ; to perswade Men by Arguments , Conducing to self Interest , ( which in all other Cases is prevailent ) to Practice Piety , Honesty and Civility , yet what poor Crops have the Stony Soil produc'd , every Age against it self is Witness . The Libertinism of an Heathen , I don't so much wonder at , because he has no Thoughts of Futurity to Check his Mad Career ; but that Men who are dayly Taught , and Instructed in Piety , and Morality , and who upon a Self-query , will own that they really Believe to do Good , is for their Advantage , should Act directly contrary to their Belief , is an Extravagant Madness , not to be parallell'd : Is there no Remedy for so Great , and Contagious an Evil to be found ? Yes , an Heathen teaches me one , Trabimur Exemplis Plus Quam Praeceptis ; for if those in Power and Greatness Practised Vertue , the Underlings would Imitate ; if 't were Customary , every one would be in the Fashion : But whilst Vice and Immorality are Countenanc'd by the Great , Orders for keeping the Sabbath , and against Prophanness , are of little Efficacy ; for when the great Fish break the Net , the little ones will go out at the Rent . Tho' arguing for Vertue , and good Manners , is highly to be Commended , yet the little Reformation we find , shows that hitherto it has signified Little or Nothing . He that would bar me of a coming Ioy , And by strict Rules , my Liberty Destroy , In Trammels makes me Pace away my Life , 'Twixt Nature and his Rules is constant strife ; So Irksom , and Vneasie I must be , By Reason of their great Antipathy ; This is the Language of th' Vnthinking Man , Who led by Custom , loves to be Prophane ; And will not change his Road , what e're you Teach , Scarce tho' a Jonah once again should Preach : But still that Monkey , Man , would Imitate , And Virtue Practice , Copy'd from the Great . Examples , wanting Precepts , are but Vain ; And moving Arguments in florid strain , Won't make the Blockish Crow'd from Ill Refrain . Being a Jacobite . ONE , who out of Good Manners , I must stile a Gentleman , because he justly Claims that Title from his Ancestors ; and it must be allow'd him now , even in his Adversity , since his Accounted Crimes of Omission , in not actually complying to the Laws in force , proceed from the Dictates of his Conscience , and not from an Obstinate Spirit of Contradiction ; for tho' this Gentlemans Opinion will not permit him to comply in the Active part , yet out of Submission to the Laws of his Countrey , without refractoriness , he 's Obedient in the Passive . This Gentleman ( as many others ) is at this time term'd a Iacobite , as being the title Customarily used , in Opposition to Williamite ; concluding , that he that is not for me , is against me . Upon the Revolution in the Year 1688 , ( which by Unfathom'd Providence was brought about , so contrary to Rational Appearance , that after Ages will hesitate at the Belief of the Heroick Attempts of the present King , and the Unaccountable Manage of the last ) this Man was turn'd out of several Considerable Imploys , ( or rather he turn'd himself out , for it cannot be expected , that any will be 〈◊〉 ( unless by Power to those that will not serve them ) strip'd of 〈◊〉 In●omes , he for a while handsomly subsisted ; but seeding con●●●ntly upon last Years Crop , without Sowing for another Harvest , ●is Gra●●ry was Empted without hopes of Replenishing , without a Miracle ; Reduc'd , he herded with those of his own Opinion , that by the Benevolence of Fortune were able to relieve him , and did Generously for a time ; but continual Dependence made him sensible of the Bitterness of the Curse : The Undervaluing Slights , the ●y●ing Attendance , often Refusals , beggarly Loans , Reprimands , Advice too late given , all which , with appearing Patience , by force he was oblig●d ( if he would Eat ) to undergo , made him almost distracted in his Thoughts . The impending Misery of want by its near approach , appearing Dreadful and Afrightning , put him upon the St●dious Thoughts , how to subsist for the future . He considered the many reasons drawn from self Interest , and other Powerful 〈◊〉 , for Conforming to the present Government ; the general 〈◊〉 , and Practice of many , whose Learning and Integrity he could 〈◊〉 call in question ( unless he should Contradict his own Experience ) made him bring his Manage into Examination , and his Rational Arguments made him often Waver , and query the Prudence of his Opinion ; so far , that he had some thoughts of Conforming to what the Representatives of the Nation had agreed ; but having so long stood out , he could have no hopes of being received with that favour , so as to be trusted in any considerable Imploy ; either Civil , Military , or Ecclesiastical ; he was too Poor , and of too little Interest , to expect an Honourable Title ; too Illiterate to be made a Dean , too well known to be trusted with the Managing of a Secret in National Affairs ; so he stuck to his old Principals tho' he reap'd no Advantage by them , for Poverty like Ivie twines to the Iacobite , and spoils his Growth ; his Opinion Contradicting in general , to the Sentiments of the greatest part of the Nation , was so far from being any ways Advantagious to him , that it expos'd him to want ; and debar'd him from the hopes of repairing his Ruined Fortunes . OBSERVATION . THIS Story is equally applicable to Iacobite , Williamite , Wigg , Tory , or what other Name of Distinction is given to any Man , who Rows not with the common Stream that the River of his Country runs ; he tugs against the Tide , and makes very little Progress . To oppose the General Sentiments of a Country , is drawing up-hill by choice , and gives just cause for People to call a Man's Judgment in Question , since there is a nearer , and down-hill beaten Path at Hand ; 't is something like going in the Strand , towards the Horse-Guard , on a Sunday in the Evening , when one has the trouble of meeting the Current of the City Gentry , going from the Park ; he that complies not to the Practice of a Nation , , appears like one in a Sad-coloured Coat , bearing Arms amongst the Guard at White-hall , he is star'd at ; and if observ'd by a Superior , will be Punished . Relating to a Man's Compliance , or Non-Compliance , ought to be considered ; whether what required be consonant to Juice , and Self-Preservation , argued Pro and Con , in refference to Spiritual , and Temporal Affairs , the last not contradicting the formers positive Commands . And sure I am , or must appear to be , by rational Men , much Wiser , or more Blockish , than the rest of the Nation , in a General Council consenting , if I oppose , or refuse Conformity to its Agreement . Parallel Examples ought to be search'd for , and the method of Proceedings , that have been commonly taken by others , approv'd by future Allowance to have been Just , and fitting to be done , ought to Guide , and mightily Sway me to concord to such approv'd Precedents ; for if a Man disagrees out of a particular Opinion , or Interest , he , as far as in him lyes , calls the discretion of a great many in Question , and battles a number with his opiniated Reason , from such Proceeding , one can expect no Benefit , or Reputation . No Advantage , because none will trust another ( in any thing of Weight ) that is of a contrary Perswasion ; because 't is reasonable to believe , that every Man is inclinable to act what sutes best to his Fancy , and most conducting to bring to effect his desired Aim : So , instead of serving that Interest by which intr●sted , to gratify his real Sentiments , he 'll betray the secrets to him committed . What is i● Vogue carries a present Reputation , ( than being a Iacobite ) must consequently cause an undervaluing , and so Sig●ify Little , or Nothing . Allow Sentiments offer'd , right , or wrong , If Iudge and Iury too , joyn with rhe Throng ; In Contradiction to the present Thought , My sole Opinion signifieth nought . 'T is ▪ over-rul'd , and I am surely cast , Which proves the fate of Separists at last ; For to oppose tde Torrent of a Stream , Resist a greater Power , is like my Dream , Which fancies mighty Riches , mighty Power , But Poor and Weak , I meet the waking Hour ; With a Probatim est some sadly tell , What once they were , to what they now are fell . Confining an Insolvent Debtor . A Grave Citizen , an Alderman's Fellow , by Losses and Crosses , and GOD knows what , was reduc'd to the necessity of leaving his House , and moving himself and Effects into the Sanctuary for Bankrupts , White-Fryars ; where , for a while he confin'd himself to his Chamber , and when he went out , the Company seasoned to the Place , who were no proud Men , but would quickly be acquainted without Ceremony , made him asham'd , and blush like a young Sinner , the C●rtains undrawn ▪ with care he soon cast up his Books ; and substracting his Debtors from his Creditors , he found a greater Ballance due than he was able to pay ; but willing ( as 't is natural for all Creatures ) to be at Liberty , he summoned his Creditors , and o●fered them ten Shillings for every Pound , reserving for himself but a small Pittance to subsist on , or lay a new Found●tion for fresh Credit : But some ( Iews in Practice ) refus'd a Compliance to any Abatement , and resolved to make Dice of his Bones : Their Cruelty griev'd and afflicted him so much , that his Sorrow and Concern was apparent in his Face ; and being ask'd the Reason , he told that his Creditors Non-compliance was the cause of it ; upon which , a Doctor in the Civil Laws of the Place , took him to Task ; told him his Security there ; brought Examples and Precedents how Tom such an one , and Sir Iohn such an one , had us'd their Creditors , and brought them to Compliance : Unmerciful Rogues ! What ? Refuse to take Ten Shillings in the Pound ? If I might advise you , they should not have above half a Crown ; I intend to give mine but Eighteen Pence ; sure you are not such a Fool to part with all , and suffer your self and Family to want : Such Company , such Examples , such Documents have wash'd away the honest first Intents of many a Man , but it could not flote his ; for he still design'd , to his Power , to satisfy every Body ; but unwilling to be Caged in a closer Prison , he there Liv'd ; and spending upon the main Stock constantly , it wasted so fast , that at his next Proposal to his Creditors , he could offer but Fi●e Shillings , which was also rejected : And some time after not being watchful of his Ways , the Catchpoles siez'd him at the Suit of an old protesting Friend of his , a Neighbour , for whom he woutd sent , hoping Mercy from th●r former intimate Acqunintance ; but the Officers telling him 't would be to no purpose , since that Warrant which they nam'd to him , was but one amongst Twenty they had against him ; so after squeezing him out of Twenty Shillings for Dinner , Ale , and Brandy , they lodged him in the Compter ; where his Fellow-Prisoners flock'd about him , some pulling this way , some that , like Water-men at turn of Ebb at Billinsgate ; all calling for Ga●nish , which clamorous demand never ceased till he had paid it The want of Liberty made him value it more than ever , and desiring next to Life his Liberty ; he with Prayers intreated his Creditors to accept of all that he had , but they refused it , and would not believe that he gave a true or just account , though he offer'd to make Oath of it ; so , by lying there , the poor Man for Ne●essaries consumed , what merciful men would have been contented with , when the Parliament , out of Consideration of the Misery that many ( not able to pay their Debts ) in Prison endured , ordered a Discharge upon such and such Conditions , under the which he was comprehended , and consequently discharged , without paying one Farthing ; whereas , if the Creditors had formerly comply'd , they might have had half their Debts , and the Man his Liberty ; so their consining him prov'd their Detriment . And the like happen to others , when the Insolvent Die in Custody ; for where 't is not to be had , the King must loose his Right . OBSERVATION . SUCH have been the Fate of many Insolvent Debtors ; and such have prov'd the Return to many uncharitable and cruel Creditors ; and I believe all merciful Men will think the last deserv'd it : Expectation to recover Debts by consining an insolvent Man , whereby he is debar'd of opportunity to acquire wherewithal to pay his Debts , is an Aegyptian Proposal , To make Brick without Straw , quod ultra posse , now est esse . 'T is a very good Law in the Signiory of Biscay , that no Native Biscayner shall be Imprisoned for Debt above Forty Eight Hours ; but the Creditor in that time shall have Judgment against whatsoever Effects shall be found to be his , or what afterwards he either by Labour , Art , or otherwise shall acquire , yet upon giving Security , not to depart the Signiory , he shall be discharged out of Custody , to get his Livelihood . I have heard that in Holland no Creditor shall keep in Prison an insolvent Debtor , unless he will maintain him there , with subsistance to preserve his Life : But here in England in this point , we out-do the Dutch in Cruelty , confining People to Starve , contrary to Humanity , Mercy , or Policy . One may as reasonably expect his Dog should catch an Hare , when chain'd to a Post , as a poor Debtor should in a Goal get wherewithall to pay his Debts . Ask ●ut the cruel Man , what he would ●a●e From h●● poor Debtor , to his will a Slave Confin'd in Prison , presently he 'll say My Money , yet acts quite contrary way To gain his end ; for , how can one expect , Where no Cause moves , there should be an Effect . What silly Farmer will confine his Cow From needf●l Herbage , for no hear der Low For Food ; or in reason can he believe , By such Confinement , he shall Milk receive : As silly is the Hope , when you confine A Man Insolvent , for to raise the Coyn. Promise of Secrecy in a Conspiracy . THO' I could produce variety of Instances out of Ancient History suitable to this Subject , yet I have chose one which has come to the knowledge , and is still fresh in the Memory of almost every Englsh Man , to show the little Trust and Confidence that is to be given to the solemn Promises of Secrecy in a Conspiracy , or wicked Design . In the Year 169 several angry discontented Men club'd to the hatching a Plot or Conspiracy for subverting the present Government ; and for the more certainty of effecting it , designed , contrary to Honour , and common Humanity , to take off the present Head , that the Limbs might be in Confusion , wanting an immediate Director for their Motion , so in the hurly burly to have Proclaimed one , who unhappily has too much Proclaimed himself . There i● no need of mentioning their Design at large , or the Progress they had made , every Man knowing the drift of their Conspiracy , and the Conspirators ; so I 'll only take Notice , that after their Plot was laid , the Assassinators agreed on , and Secrecy sworn to , at the Sun-Tavern , and other Places , some of them ( false , first to their Country , then to their Adherents ) discovered the Conspiracy . I wish 't were done out of a repentant Principle , and believing a Promise to do Evil ought not to be kept ; but their covetous siliciting for Rewards induce me to believe , that the Principle of Self-interest was the chief Motive of their Discovery ; but let it proceed from what cause soever , 't is apparent , that the Obligations under which they were engaged , were not of Force to keep the Secret undiscovered , The like Discoveries have been made at Venice , at Rome , at Genoua , and in almost all the the Kingdoms on the Earth ; tho' the greatest Cautions and Securities that Self-preservation , or aspiring Ambition could invent , to tye up the conseiling Tongue , have been made use of ; he that will be a Villain in attempting a great Evil , is not to be trusted ; for 't is probable he will be so in a lesser , especially if he expects to reap advantage by it . OBSERVATION . SELDOM any Resolution is so fix'd , but that apparent benefit , as Self-preservation , or Riches , will alter it , especially when the Resolve is evil , for no Man , though never so much prompted by Ambition , Avarice , Lust or Revenge , but has a Monitor within , which Dictates to him , that his Resolve and Attempt is Evil in it self ; and from what one 's Reason informs to be bad , a Man is easily drawn from Effecting : So we find many Men who dare undaunted , look Death in the Face in a just Cause , will Recant and appear Cowards , when Ill is to be attempted , from whence has proceeded many Discoveries of Plots and Conspiracies , to the Secresie of which , Men have Oblig'd themselves by all the Tyes that are counted Sacred and Binding ; such are to be counted Repentants , because they discover the Design out of an Odium to the Evil. But some , without Considering Good or Evil , in Relation to Futurity , discover the secret Conspiracies with them intrusted , not lor Conscience , but for Lucre sake , others when their first Heat is over , grow Pusilanimous , and confess to save their Lives ; sometimes insinite Wisdom confounds their Councils and Devices , lead them into Errors and Mistakes , and by ways unimaginable , bring to Light the hidden things of Darkness . Whilst a protecting Providence do sway , Whilst Men Inspir'd dictates do obey , Whilst Life has Value , and Reward has Love , Protested Secresie in Ill does prove Of small Validity ; the first will act What 's Consonant to Iustice of a Fact : The Second by Impulsive Power Command , What wo'n't Man do to keep his wasting Sand ▪ And bountiful Reward makes Men betray Their dearest Kin , and Friendship wipes away ▪ Subject to Power , and tempted by a Bait , Too pleasing to deny , of little weight Proves promis'd Privacy ; then why should I Meddle in Plots , in Hopes of Secresie ? The Progress of an Enquirer after Places . THOUGH Disappointments are in some Degree or other , most commonly the Companions that attend and thwart the Hopes and Expectations of all Mankind ; yet have I not observ'd more Disappointments generally to accompany any Attempt , than I have the Endeavours , and Designs , to get into Reputable Places and Employments , as by the Sequel will appear . An Engl●sh Gentleman , who by Hospitality amongst his County Neighbours , had Spent the greatest part of his Estate ; having very little , besides the Mansion Seat of his Family left , seeing himself Slighted by those very Men who had largely tasted of his Bounty , seriously began to Consider , how he sho●ld still Support himself in some Credible Reputation ; and after he had run over several designing Thoughts , and Built Castles in the Air , he at last six'd upon the common Hopes of getting a Place , or Employ at London . To effect which , he presently Sold the remaining part of his Estate ; and to London he came , to put in Practice the Scheme he had Drawn , for raising once again his Fortune . His first Application was , to be sure , to one of the worthy Burgesses that Serv'd for a Neighbouring Corporation , who by the Charms of Bribery , and by Virtue of his strong Drink , had carried the Election Nemine Contradicente ; him he acquainted with his Design , and desir'd his kind Assistance , who presently Promised Fair for Country sake , thô he was an Irishman ; upon his Promise , every Morning he danc'd Attendance , at the Levee of my Dear Ioy ; and when he walk'd , he kept Cringing on his Larboard Quarter , not presuming to go Check by Iowl with one of the Representatives of the Nation ; who had the same Business during the whole Sessions of Parliament , that he had during the Term-time , two Motions a Day , to Westminster and back again ; but finding his Waiting , and the other's Promises , would Signify the same thing , and the Senator being gone to Tanoridge , where the Proverb was on his side , he bethought himself what farther Methods were to be taken ; and luckily finding upon a Coffee-house Table , a Paper Intituled , A Collection for Improvement of Husbandry and Trade , by John Houghton , F. R. S. Wherein he found , that he knew of several that wanted Men so or so Qualified or Recommended , and several that were so and so Qualified and Recommended , that wanted the Imployments which others wanted to have Officiated . At first view he thought this Paper as a Pillow of Light to guide him in the Dark : But upon examining the Inquiries after Places and Imploys , and those that wanted Agents , found they answer'd one another's Occasions , and that there was not one Agent enquired after , but there was the same Place sought for ; so he dispair'd of Success from that , seeing every one's Occasion might be supplied . Though his Sleep , or rather Slumbers , was unquiet and short , occasioned by the concern that hagg'd his Thoughts about his future earthly well Being , yet his lying Awake was more tormenting to him , as much as Impending want had then a more lively Impression , than his drowsy Fancy could Represent ; so trying , as if it were to avoid himself , he arose , slighting Beauish Formality , soon dress'd himself , and went to Man's Coffee-house , where , though 't was early in the Morning , he found Talkative Will , a tall elderly Man , with his own Hair , diverting the Company , sometimes in English , sometimes in French ; in both Languages he told Stories as improbable to be true as all D. O's Narrative . He took upon him the States-man , and told the Company he knew of Funds that would have rais'd Money enough to defray the Charge of the War , without being any pressure to the Subject : He blam'd all that he was pleas'd to think Mismanagement in the Concerns of the Nation ; and then gravely told them , how all might have been prevented , which every Block-head can do , after the Act is past ; and , for the future how he would have things managed ; but Mercy upon us if Affairs were to be ordered by his Managery , ( looking upon his own Conduct ) it may reasonably be believed , they would have been Ten times worse directed . After he had Rail'd at several particular Persons , whose names he did not tell . ( but describ'd them plainer than I do him ) He grumbled at the Bounty bestow'd upon Favorites ; but I suppose his Cozen Harry's Humour then possess'd him , who always Rails when he is Poor ; 〈…〉 a Bounty is in his Pocket , ( which never wears it out ) 〈…〉 as much for Prai●ing , as when Penniless in Railing and Re●●cting . If Variety be pleasing , sure Mr William's Discourse wa● diverting ; for he run over Stories ( as much as the time would allow ) of Men and Women , of all Qualities , all sorts of Countries , Governments , Languages , Horses , Dogs , Cocks , Wine , Snaff , &c. as positively as if he had been an Eye or Ear-witness , had Travell'd them all over , been a Privy-Councellor in every one of them ; a Professor of Languages , own'd , or layed Wagers , Drank , ●asted , or Snuff'd or every sort : But at last took opportunity , though no occasion offered ) to tell how nigh he was Related to , and how he was belov'd and respected by a Dutch Engl●sh Nobleman ; which at last startled my Inquirer from the Confusion the medley of his Discourse had put him into , and brought into his Thought , that this Gentleman's Interest might do him a Kindness . His approaching Necessity having made him confident beyond his natural Temper , he presently enquired the Gentleman's Name and Lodging , and that Day waited upon him , and in short desired his Favour towards helping him to an Imploy sit for a Gentleman , and at the same time promised to be grateful ; Mr. William , who never wants complimental Civility , told him , that he would assist him in what lay in his Power , and mentioned to him several Places that he might endeavour to get ; but knowing none then Vacant , he desired he would meet him on the Morrow , when he would bring a Man ( meaning his Cozen Harry ) whom the Cobweb Laws cannot consine , though in close Confinement ▪ who knew of Forty to be dispos'd of . The next Day , according to appointment , they all met , and Harry cajoll'd my ●●quirer , and fitted his Humour to a T — ; indeed he must be o● a very stingy Temper whom he cann't please , for he is really a very sensible Gentleman . My Inquirer's Desires were made known to him ; and Harry ( who never parts with a Man , but he leaves him a plausible prospect of effecting his Designs ) laid down such Assurances upon Promises made in his Favour , that my Gentleman began to believe at such a Day he might enter into Pay or Sallery ; but before he parted , Harry had nicely examined , though at a distance , how his Stock was , either to Bribe or Purchase , and in a Day or Two was to give my Enquirer a positive Answer ; but I had almost forgot to tell you , that just at parting , Harry bore up to him , and told him , that though he would serve a Gentleman gratis with his Labour , yet there would be Expences ; to defray which , he expected he should bring him Ten Guineas the next Morning . My Enquirer , buoy'd up with hopes , came the next Morning with ready Rhino in his Pocket , had immediately Admittance into a Room spread with old Carpets , that the Man at the Three Roses had refus'd to Stitch Cards on . Presently honest Harry , who like the Hungry Iew , watch'd the falling Manna , came in , and accosted him with , Sir , I 've done your Business , for I was with my Lord last Night , and to serve you , spent my own Interest , so effectually , that I had his Promise on your Behalf : Upon these words the Manna dropt into his Hand , which Harry never kept till the following Day , for fear it should turn Sower : My Enquirer's moving Hand having reach'd Ten , at which number Harry's Allarm stood , it immediately rung a Peal in Division about Places , for half an Hour together , That he that wrote the present State of England in the Year , 1694 , was a Block-head compared to him ; for he has not mentioned a quarter of the Places and Imploys , that Harry nam'd to my Enquirer , and gave him the choice of any of them : He that put an Advertisement for the Sale of Horses , cann't in a Months time name so many Horses to be sold , as he pretended to know Imploys : My Enquirer , amongst the many Texts this Parson Quoted , pitch'd upon Two or Three which serv'd to his liking ; and when Mr. Harry had done talking , he told him , such or such would suit his Education , and agreed with his Humour . Oh , says Harry , those are not as yet Vacant , but they will be perhaps before the Parliament rises ; for they are resolved to suffer very few Members of the House to be in Imploys , wherein any Branch of the Revenue is to be managed ; and since 't is certain some will part with their Places rather than to be turn'd out of the House , your study must be , how to get into one of those they Abdicate ; to effect which , you must try to engrati●te your self with a S — of S — , with Three of the L — of the T — at least : And the thoughtful Gentleman , who , by much Labour of his Brain , hammers out things in a great Perfection , to be known and well recommended to the P — C — ; for some Imploys must be granted in C — : Now , the fittest Man upon Earth to be your Solicitor there , is W. E. who , though he is Foundered in his Feet , has a natural Assurance to tell a Story plausibly to any Nobleman , though 't is seldom mind●d ; he is Old-Dog with the Ladies and Boys , and their constant Solicitor : Besides , he may be , from his own Interest , very serviceable to you ; for I know , the other Day he help'd a Footman to a Place , and took but Half a Crown for his Labour . 'T will also be requisite for you to learn Decimals and Gaug●ng , and make Application to the C — of E — ; Or to the L — of the A — . Or to the C — of the C — But you must not neglect making Application to several particular Persons , who always seem in an hurry , as if they had the whole concerns of the Nation to manage : Amongst which , there is honest Tony , who seldom gives the C — of P — , and E — , much trouble to draw up a Report ; A. R. is not duely Elected . I must beg Pardon , when I say , 't is hard that so understanding a Gentleman ; one that knows how to take all Advantages , should not be in the House , no Man being sitter to caution against Deceits , than the — He has been serviceable to the Nation by the project of packing of Hay ; by the manage of which , Horses Eat less than usual , and their Beliies were taken up , without Belly-cloaths , the smell did their Business , yet Tony had but 3l . a Load , for what cost him 25s . His Principles may be guess'd by his Practice ; and he has declared his Sentiments , how People that would thrive , should manage themselves ; and designs ( if he may be believed ) to instill the same Principle● into his Children ; for he told an honest Gentleman , that if he had a Son , he would advise him to flatter and dissemble with all Mankind ; never to speak Truth but when it was for his Advantage : With this worthy Gent. 't will be necessary to be acquainted , if you have Money to purchase an Imploy under the M — of the H — ; for every one of them that were in his reach , he has either sold , or been a Broker in the matter : You need make no Interest to him by Intercession of Friends ; for he has no respect to Persons , Principles , or Qualities ; but like a late deceased Knight , whose Wit ( by mistake so called ) lay in bold Examinations of Scripture passages ; buffonly rediculing what was beyond his shallow Capacity to understand ) has regard only to the Money , let it come from Williamit● , Iacobite , or Devil : Besides him , there 's another you should be acquainted with , that is a blinking Fellow , a meer pretender to the Law , who could scarce Read ( allowing Breviations ) at the Exchequer Bar : He , by his Pretensions , one would think had the disposal of 40 considerable Places ; indeed he has most of the Gentry at his beck , though 't is a shame to see how poor spirited some of them are , to cringe and creep to him , whom most honest Men avoid ; though there 's a broad mixture in this Man of Knave and Fool , yet he so manages by Tricks and Lyes a certain Person in whose Power 't is to make you one extraordinary ; that a Trial ought to be made of his Interest : And sure , by some of these , with my Assistance , ( which you shall never want , a Man of your Birth , Education , and Ingenuity ) cann't miss of some Imploy or other . Now , Sir , I 've told you what 's to be done , use your endeavour ; and when you have fix'd upon your particular , come again to me , and I ( as Mr. Houghton says ) can help . My Enquirer , with his Head full of this Council , takes leave , resolving to meditate on it , and put it in Practice ; but going down Stairs , he saw a written Paper which Harry's Servant had drop'd ; and being curious , took it up and put it in his Pocket to Read at Leisure ; the first opportunity he had he opened the Paper , and found as follows : Answers , Excuses , and Observations , to be got by heart , and used , as occasion offers , by my Servant Robin . If a Man 〈◊〉 hard early in a Morning , with a Cane in his Hand , believe him a Creditor , and the first tim● answer him , that I am not well , and you dare not Disturb me ; to Countenance which , be sure two or three days in a Month , tye a Rag upon the Knocker of the Door . The Second time , I was sent for about earnest Business , to any busie Nobleman you first think of . Afterwards say for me , as you would have others say for you to whom you Owe Money ; but be sure you ●be not catch'd in a Lie , for People are too apt to believe that Courtiers Servants Lie ; tho' they speak Truth , if their Desi●es be'nt Comply'd with . If it be one that wears a Sword , 't is Ten to One but 't is either some body I am in Combination withall to Cheat another , or that he himself is to be Cheated , him presently admit , for from such , Corn comes to the Mill. If it be one whose Company I have shun'd , ●●nd him to some Tavern or Coffee-house out of the Verge of the Court , where to be sure I never go but on a Sunday . Some part of the Paper had been torn off , but one may be certain , he had learn'd the whole Lesson by the variety of Shams and Excuses he had constantly ready . Bless me , how was my Inquirer Surpriz'd at the Reading it ! and began to conceive that he was fallen into the Hands of a Tongue-Padding , Cheating Courtier ; but finding his Counsel in some measure ought to be followed , he was resolved to make Applications as he was directed . In a short time by Friends or Money , he was little or much Recommended to almost ●ll Fortune's Darlings , that had the Disposal of any Employs ; one or other of them he was almost continually waiting on with the Recommendation of my Lord such an one , Sir such an one ; or honest Mr. such an one ; and every one to whom he was Recommended , like true Courtiers , spoke him fair : One promised the next thing that fell ; another promised to take Care of him ; a Third , out of Kindness , would have him Qualify himself , that upon any Opportunity he might jump in : A Fourth took Money in part ; and a ●ifth invited him to Dinner , which Gentleman it must be said of him , did him more Kindness than all the rest ; for after he had waitt●d half a Year , he found their promises to be only Air ; for when the first had power by a Vacancy , to be sure he said , He was pre-ingaged . The Second's care was to avoid him . The Third Gentleman would not give him Opportunity to Jump , continually Selling Reversions . The Fourth did his Business but in part , for he could never get all his Money again . Thus Shuffled off from one to another , by fair Words and Promises , he spent a great deal of time , and all his Money to no purpose ; meeting with so many Disappointments , and really wanting Necessaries , and reflecting on the Usage he had met withal , and dreading the Poverty he saw approaching , he had fallen into Dispair , but that he had still the Happiness to carry in his Mind , the Thoughts of Futurity , from which he resolv'd as much as possible to be Content ; and to strengthen him in his Acquiessing , and Resignation to a Supreme Will , he often went to Church ; but one day going into St. Martin's , thô early , the Surly Clark refus'd him admittance into a Pew , which so mightily concern'd him , that he went to his Lodging , and whilst the Thought continued , he Wrote the following Verse ▪ To what Extremities am I dr●ven , When Parish-Clarks bar my Converse with Heav'n , As much as in the surly Rascals lye ; Who by the Face , the Pocket do des●ry , And Sine Pence , admittance they deny ! These under Graduate Peters of the Church , Would S●ll to Simon the Heavenly G●● , If to their A●arice and Humour lest ; Perhap ▪ the M●r did my Misfortunes know ; Affraid to Trust me , who●●●●uch did One. Deny'd adm●ttance , ●●st 〈◊〉 , that I s●●●ld pray Blessings , f●r w●●●h they th●●g●t P●n●ver P●y ▪ Having long Rack'd his Brain● , and Spent his Money and Time in Vain , his peery Landlord by a Writ , secur'd him a safe place in the Marshalsea durante Vita , unless a Compassionate Parliament release him by an Act of Grace . Fed up with Hope by such , his Money 's spent , But has no greater Prospect , than is L●nt To needy N●blemen , 〈◊〉 it's return , Who seldom Pay a Debt , but to the Vrn. Place-Brokers to Enquirers still speak Fa● , Blow up a Bubble Globe , which 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 Like Lottery Proj●ctors ●raw a Scheme , H●w Thousands may be got , If , if they Draw the Lot , But Hit , or Miss , there●s P●ofi● s●●ll to them ▪ FINIS .