Donated by the Grand Rapzds Publzc L1brary The May G Quzgley Collectzon of Chzldren s Literature December 2001 The Umverslty of Mlchlgan-Dearbom Mardxg1an Llbrary Q \ ‘ _ X _ __ 1; ': ///E __¢__\ _ _\ i_ _' Z P 5 '" /1/\ So soon as we got into the street, we met the Turtle and the Pelican, walking arm-in-arm, and each smoking a cigarette.— Wallypugland. Page 151. ADVENTURES m WALLYPUG-LAND BY G. E. FARROW AUTHOR or “ THE WALLYPUG or wuv,‘ “'r1~n: WALLYPUG IN LONDON," ETC. WITH FIFTY-SIX ILLUSTRATIONS BY ALAN WRIGHT A. L.-BURT COMPANY, PUBLISHERS, 52-58 DUANE STREET, NEW YoRK. - ‘ . - ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUG~LAND 10 _ PREFACE. never was a Wallypug, and it was all just a pack of nonsense”; that “ Girlie never went to Why at all, and that in fact there was no such place in’ existence ” ? I can only regretfully admit that, sooner or later as we grow up to be men and women, there are bound to be many fond illusions which are one by one ruthlessly dispelled, and that many of the dreams and thoughts which, in our younger days,‘ we cherish most dearly, the hard, matter-of-fact world will always persist in describing as f‘ a pack of nonsense.” However, for many of us fortu- nately, this tiresome time has not yet arrived, and for the present we will refuse to give up our poor dear Wallypug—for whom I declare I have as great an affection and regard, as the most enthusiastic of my young readers. You will see that in the following story I have described my own experiences during a recent visit to the remarkable land over which His Maj- PREFACE. 11 esty reigns as a “kind of king, and I maytell you that, amongst all of the extraordinary crea- tures that Imet there, there was not one who ex- pressed the slightest doubt as to the reality of what was happening ;while for my own part, I should as soon think of doubting the existence of the fairies themselves, as of the simple, kind- hearted, little Wallypug. There now ! I hope that I have given quite a clear and lucid explanation, and one which will prevent you from being made unhappy by any doubts which may arise in your mind as to the possibility, or probability, of this story. Please don’t forget to write to me again during the coming year. Believing me to be as ever, Your afiectionate Friend, G. E. FARROW. _ <4- {'7' _ CONTENTS. Anvnurnmcs IN VVALLYPUGLAND. CHAR PAGE I. How I Went to Why . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 II. A Strange Welcome . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 III. A Terrible Night . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 IV. Late for Breakfast. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 V. The Trial . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62 VI. His Majesty is Deposed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74 VII. Foiled . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 83 VIII. The Little Blue People . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94 IX. The Wallypug Recovers his Crown . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 X. The Home of Ho-Lor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 116 XI. The Why and \Ver-Har-Wei Railway . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131 XII. Back Again at Why . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 145 XIII. A New State of Affairs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 155 XIV. “ Good for the Complexion " . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 165 XV. " Wallypug’s Blush Limited ” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 175 XVI. “ Au Revoir” . . . . . . . . . . . . - . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 187 THE BLUE DWARFS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _ . . . . .. 197 _ \ ' ' . ' _ All /We CHAPTER I. HoVV I WENT TO WHY. FoR some time past I have been the guest of his "- "°B°'"- Majesty the Wal- lypug at his palace in the mysterious king- dom of Why—a country so remarkable that even now I am only just beginning to get used to my strange surroundings and stranger neighbors. Imagine, if you can, a place where all of the animals not only talk, but take an 13 now 1 WENT TO WHY. 15 She takes a very active interest in Parliament ary affairs, and is a strong supporter of woman's wrongs. “ Every woman has her wrongs,” she declares, “ and if she hasn’t she ought to have.” You will naturally wish to know how I reached this strange country, and will, no doubt, be sur- prised when I tell you how the journey was accomplished. One morning a few weeks since, I received a letter from his Majesty the Wallypug asking me to visit him at his palace at VVhy, in order to as- sist him in establishing some of our social customs and methods of government, which he had so greatly admired during his visit to England, and which he was desirous of imitating in his own land. A little packet was enclosed in the letter, bearing the words, “ The shortest way to Why. This side up with anzvietg/.” “ Well,” I thought, “ I suppose they mean ‘ This side up with care,’ ” 16 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. and was proceeding very carefully to open the packet when a gust of wind rushed in at the win- dow, and blowing open the paper wrapper, scat- tered the contents—a little white powder—in all directions. Some particles flew up into my eyes, and caused them to smart so violently that I was obliged to close them for some time till the pain had gone, and when I opened them again, what do you think? I was no longer in my study at home, but out on a kind of heath in the brilliant sunshine, and apparently miles from a house of any kind. A finger-post stood a little way in front of me, and I could see that three roads met just here. Anxiously I hurried up to the post to see where I was. One arm pointed, “ To No- where.” “ And I certainly don’t want to go there,” I thought ; the other one was inscribed, “To Somewhere,” which was decidedly a little << better, but the third one said, To Everywhere Else.” “And, good gracious me,” I thought, i HOW I WENT TO WHY. 17 “that’s not much use, for I don’t know in the least now which of the last two roads to take.” “-r1=nr’s nor nwcu usz.‘ I was puzzling my brain as to what was the best thing to be done, when I happened to look down the road leading to “ Nowhere,” and saw a curious- 3 18 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. looking little person running towards me. He had an enormous head, and apparently his arms and legs were attached to it, for I could see no trace of a body. He was flourishing something in his hand as he ran along, and as soon as he came closer I discovered that it was his card which he handed to me with a polite bow and an exten- sive smile, as soon as he got near enough to do so. “ MR. NOBODY, N0. 1 NONES U CH-STREET, NOWHERE,” is what I read. The little man was still smiling and bowing, so I held out my hand and said : “ How do you do, sir ? I am very pleased to make your acquaintance. Perhaps you can be good enough to tell me-—” The little man nodded violently. “ To tell me where I am,” I continued. HOW 1 WENT TO WHY. 91 continued, jerking his head in the direction in which Mr. Nobody had disappeared. “ Nothing,” I replied. “ Very well, then, what was it ? ” he asked. “ What do you mean?” said I. “ Why, stupid, you said Nobody and nothing, didn’t you, and as two negatives make an affirm- ative that means he must have said something.” “ I’m afraid I don’t quite understand,” I said. “ Ignorant ostrich ! ” remarked the crow con- temptuously. “ ” Look here, I cried, getting very indignant, “I will not be spoken to like that by a mere bird!” “ Oh, really! Who do you think you are, pray, you ridiculous biped ? Where’s your hat ?” I was too indignant to answer, and though I should have liked to have asked the name of the place I was at, I determined not to hold any fur- ther conversation with the insolent bird, and 22 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. walked away in the direction of “Somewhere,” pursued by the sound of mocking laughter from the crow. “ WHER.E's YOUR HAT ?“ I had not gone far, however, before I perceived a curious kind of carriage coming towards me. It was a sort of rickshaw, and was drawn by a kangaroo, who was jerking it along behind him. A large ape sat inside, hugging a carpet bag, and holding on to the dashboard with his toes. HOW I VVENT TO \VHY. 23 “ Let’s pass him with withering contempt,” I heard one of them say. “ All right,” was the reply. “ Drive on.” “I say, Man,” called out the Ape, as they passed, “we’re not taking the slightest notice of you.” “ Oh, aren’t you? Well, I’m sure I don’t care,” I replied rather’ crossly. The Kangaroo stopped and stared at me in amazement, and the Ape got out of the rick- shaw and came towards me, looking very indig- nant. “ Do you know who I am ?” he asked, striking an attitude. “No, I don’t,” I replied, “and what’s more, I don’t care.” “But I’m a person of consequence,” he gasped. l “You are only an ape or a monkey,” I said firmly. 24 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. “Oh! I can clearly see that you don’t know me,” remarked the Ape pityingly. “ I’in Oom Hi.” . “ Indeed,” I said unconcernedly. “ I am afraid I’ve never heard of you.” “Never heard of Oom Hi,” cried the Ape. “Why, I am the inventor of Broncho.” “What’s that?” I asked. “Good gracious! what ignorance,” said the Ape; “ here, go and fetch my bag,” he whispered to the Kangaroo, who ran back to the rickshaw and returned with the carpet bag. “ This,” continued Oom Hi, taking out a bottle, “is the article; it is called ‘ Broncho,’ and is ex- cellent for coughs, colds, and affections of the throat; you will notice that each bottle bears a label stating that the mixture is prepared accord~ ing to my own formula, and bears my signature ; none other is genuine without it. The Wallypug, when he returned from England and heard that I /// /. . .__ _~- 1‘, “ft‘ \,\~ , "> '\ / ‘7...’ , W‘’ //;. . , — \ (l!_"_’a * \ :37‘ .s\§ V 1‘ '=_-' _ 1*‘_ _,“‘C‘-. . _ _ \,~ / . lgilg/¢////\I ,‘l' "There," continued Oom-Hi, taking out the bottle, “is the article; it is called 'Broncho.”’—-Page 24. Wwllupualand. 26 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. “ His Majesty ; he—he—he,. that’s good,” laughed the Kangaroo. “ Do you call the Wally- pug ‘ his Majesty’ ?” he asked. “ Of course,” I replied, “ he is a king, isn’t he 3 ” “ A kind of king,” corrected Oom Hi. “ You don’t catch us calling him ‘ your Majesty,’ I can tell you though, one animal is as good as another here, and if anything, a little better. If you are going to Why, we may as well go back with you, and give you a lift in the rickshaw.” “ You’re very kind,” I said, gratefully. “ Not at all, not at all; jump in,” said Oom Hi. “ Hold on a moment,” said the Kangaroo. “ It’s his turn to pull, you know.” “ Of course, of course,” said the, Ape, getting into the vehicle ; “ put him in the shafts !” “What do you mean Z” I expostulated. “Your turn to pull the rickshaw, you know; HOW I WENT TO WHY. 27 we always take turns, and as I have been drag- ging it for some time it’s your turn now.” “ But I’m not going to pull that thing with you two animals in it. I never heard of such a thing,” I declared. “Who are you calling an animal?” demanded the Kangaroo, sulkily. “ You’re one yourself, aren’t you ? ” “ Well, I suppose I am,” I admitted. “ But I’m not going to draw that thing, all the same.” “ Oh, get in, get in ;. don’t make a fuss. I sup- pose I shall have to take a turn myself,” said Oom Hi, grasping the handles, and the Kangaroo and myself having taken our seats we were soon trav- eling down the road. The Kangaroo turned out to be a very pleasant companion after all, and when he found out that I came from England told me all about his brother, who was a profes- sional boxer, and had been to London and made his fortune as the Boxing Kangaroo. He was 23 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. quite delighted when I told him that I had seen notices of his performance in the papers. We soon came in sight of a walled city, which Oom Hi, turning around, informed me was Why. And on reaching the gate he gave the rickshaw in charge of an old turtle, who came waddling up, and each of the animals taking one of my arms, I was led in triumph through the city gates to the Wallypug’s palace, several creatures, includ- ing a motherly-looking goose and a little gosling, taking a lively interest in my progress, while a giraffe in a very high collar craned his neck through a port-hole to try and get a glimpse of us as we passed under the portcullis. Mmm U CHAPTER 11. 12 A STRANGE WEL- CoME. E soon reached the Wallypug’s pal- ace, which stood in a large park in the center of the city of Why. I had G00, B", been very inter- ested in noticing the curious architecture in the streets as we passed along, but was scarcely pre- pared to find the palace such a very remarkable place. It was a long, low, rambling build- ing, built in a most singular style, with all 29 A STRANGE WELCOME. 31 the way in, it was nothing more or less thana huge jam-pot, with a very large label on it marked “ Strawberry Jam,” while above it were the words, “ When is a door not a door ?” “ When is a door not a door ?” I repeated, vaguely conscious of having heard the question before. “ Ha—ha—ha,” laughed a mocking voice at the bottom of the steps, and looking down I saw an enormous Cockatoo with a Paisley shawl over her shoulders and walking with the aid of acrutched stick. “ Sold again, were you ? Serve you right,”she cried. “ When is a door not a door ? Pooh ! fancy not knowing that old chestnut. Why ! when it’s a jar, of course, stupid. Bah!” “ It’s a very absurd practical joke, that’s all that I can say,” I remarked, crossly, walking down the steps again. “ Perhaps you can tell me how I am going to get into this remarkable place.” _ 32 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. “ Humph ! Perhaps I can and perhaps I won’t,” said the Cockatoo. “ I dare say it’s a better place than you came from, anyhow. You’re not the first man that has come down here with his su- perior airs and graces, grumbling and finding fault with this, that, and the other; but we’ll soon take the conceit out of you, I can tell you. Where’s your hat ? ” This was the second creature that had asked me this question, and really they threw so much scorn and contempt into the inquiry that one would imagine that it was a most disgraceful offense to be without a head covering. I thought the most dignified thing to do under the circumstances was to take no ‘further notice of the bird, and was quietly walking away when the Cockatoo screamed out again, “Where’s your hat? Where’s your hat 3 Where’s your hat?” each time louder and louder, till the last inquiry ended in a perfect shriek. A STRANGE WELCOME. 33 “ Don’t be so ridiculous,” I cried. “ I’ve left it at home, if you must know.” “ Down with the hatters !” screamed the Cock- atoo irrelevantly, “ Down with the Wallypug! Down with men without hats ! Down with every- body and everything!” and the wretched bird danced about like a demented fury. At the sound of all this commotion a number of windows in the upper stories of the palace were thrown open, and curious heads were popped out to see what was the matter. Among them and immediately over my head, I noticed the Doctor- in-Law. “ Oh ! it’s you, is it, kicking up all this fuss?” he remarked as soon as he recognized me. “ Well, really!” I replied, “ I think you might have the politeness to say ‘ How do you do ? ’ considering that it is some months since we met.” “ Oh, do you indeed ?” said the Doctor-in-Law, 3 . 34 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. contemptuously. “ Well, supposing I don’t care one way or another. Where’s your hat ? ” / // ,M// /I,/////,,./4n/» ,4/Av/fl 11,1111 , /11/4’ ‘_§\Q~I I 1 \ u DOWN WITH ram DOCTOR-IN-LAW." Before I could answer the Cockatoo had screamed out “Down with the Doctor-in- Law!” and the irate little man had replied by HJN €§:s. é .’.l?‘¢-5 n‘- Q‘! \|1 1 ,. " "- \‘Il 3 ,_ ' \ / v» \__ e ~11-|l’W_”.°. . . ‘ll \. i \ i ‘fly!’ H ' i ‘ ° “All: n. "I saw his Majesty. the'\Vallypng himself, running across the lawn towards me, with both hands stretched out in wel- \ \'\ /r, ' 1 r I'- come. "--Page 35. ""aIlyv“9l9 - ’ -~ . -.-~ 119:! »' . _ Q! ,_. _ . ‘ '_\.;.:‘-> ,_ '- - ‘. .-“ll-F ' ';""“‘: ‘ / I_!" -!’)"*i"/" ,4 '”‘m‘||g,\fl1!flIIl'U - -"' 6 <' THE PEL_CAN WAS SNORING VIOLENTLY. I succeeded in unfastening. An ancient-looking turtle with a white apron was busily cleaning the steps, and started violently as I made my appearance at the door. “Bless my shell and fins!” he muttered; “ what’s the creature wandering about this time of the morning for ; they’ll be getting up in the 52 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. 1 middle of the night next. Just mind where you’re treading, please!” he called out. “The steps have been cleaned, and I don’t want to have to do them all over again.” I managed to get down without doing much damage, and then remarked pleasantly: “ Good morning ; have \you——” “ No, I haven’t,” interrupted the Turtle snap- pishly ; “ and what’s more, I don’t want to.” “ What do you mean ? ” I inquired, in sur- prise. “ Soap ! ” was the reply. “ I don’t understand you,” I exclaimed. “ You’re an advertisement for somebody’s soap, aren’t you ? ” asked the Turtle. “Certainly not,” I replied, indignantly. “Your first remark sounded very much like it,” said the Turtle suspiciously. “ ‘ Good morn- ing, have you used—-—’ ” “ I wasn’t going to say that at all,” I inter- LATE FOR BREAKFAST. 53 rupted. “ I was merely going to ask if you could oblige me with a 1ight.” “ Oh, that’s another thing entirely,” said the Turtle, handing me some matches from his waist- coat pocket, and accepting a cigarette in return. “ But really we have got so sick of those adver- tisement catchwords since the Doctor-in-Law re- turned from London with agencies for all sorts of things, that we hate the very sound of them. We are continually being told to ‘ Call a spade a spade,’which will be ‘ grateful and comforting ’ to ‘ an ox in a teacup ’ who is ‘ worth a guinea a box,’ and who ‘ won’t be happy till he gets it.’ ” “ It must be very trying,” I murmured sym- pathetically. “ Oh, it is,” remarked the Turtle. “ Well,” he continued in a business-like tone, “ I’m sorry you can’t stop—good morning.” “ I didn’t say anything about going,” I ejacu- lated. 54 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND, “ Oh, didn’t you? Well, I did then,” said the Turtle emphatically. Move on, please ! ” “ You’re very rude,” I remarked. “ Think so ? ” said the Turtle pleasantly. “ That’s all right then—good-by,” and he flopped ._l';~, . ’ THE TURTLE FLOPPED DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND RESUMED HIS SCBUBBING. down on his knees and resumed his scrubbing. There was nothing for me to do but to walk on, and seeing a quaint-looking old rose garden in the distance, I decided to go over and explore. I was walking slowly along the path leading to a J LATE FOR BREAKFAST. i 55 it, when I heard a curious clattering noise be- hind me, and turning around I beheld the Trou- badour, still in his armor, dragging a large standard rosebush along the ground. “ As if it were not enough,” he grumbled, “ to be maltreated as I am every night, without hav- ing all this trouble every morning. I declare it is enough to make you throw stones at your grandfather.” “What’s the matter?” I ventured to ask of the little man. “ Matter ? ” was the reply. Why, these wretched rosebushes, they will get out their beds at night, and wander about. I happened to leave the gate open last night, and this one got out, and goodness knows where he would have been by this time if I hadn’t caught him mean- dering about near the Palace.” “ Why ! I’ve never heard of sucha thing as a rosebush walking about,” I exclaimed in surprise. 56 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. “Never heard of a-—. Absurd !” declared the Troubadour, incredulously. “ Of course they do. That’s what you have hedges and fences around the gardens for, isn’t it ? Why, you can’t have been in a garden at night- “E>II‘ time, or you wouldn’t talk such nonsense. All the plants are al- lowed to leave their beds at mid- night. They are expected to be g back again by daylight, though, ..,,,_,,,,,,,,,,,, and not go wandering about goodness knows where like this beauty,” and he shook the rosebush violently. “In you go,” he continued, digging ahole with the point of his mailed foot, and sticking the rose- bush into it. “ Hullo!” he exclaimed, going up to another one, at the foot of which were some broken twigs and crumpled leaves. ‘ ‘ You’ve been fighting, have you? I say, it’s really too bad!” 58 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAN D. pair of tongs, it’s more than I bargained for. Look out ! Here comes the Wallypug,” he con- tinued. Sure enough his Majesty was walking down the path, attended by A. Fish, Esq., who was wearing a cap and gown and carrying a huge book. “Ah! good -morning-—good morning,” cried his Majesty, hurrying towards me. “ I’d no idea you were out and about so earlyi. I’m just hav- ing my usual morning lesson.” “Yes,” said A. Fish, Esq., smiling, and offer- ing me a fin. “Ever sidse I god rid of by cold I’ve been teaching the Wallypug elocutiod. We have ad ’our every bordig before breakfast, ad he’s geddig on spledidly.” “ I’m sure his Majesty is to be congratulated on having so admirable an instructor,” I re- marked, politely, if not very truthfully. “Thags,” said A. Fish, Esq., looking very 60 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. quickly as possible, taking three or four wriggling steps, and then giving a funny little hop with his tail, till, puffing and out of breath, we arrived at the palace just as the bell stopped ringing. His Majesty hastily rearranged his disordered crown, and led the way into the dining hall. A turtle carrying a large dish just inside the door whispered warningly to the Wallypug as we entered, “Look out ! You’re going to catch it,” and hurried away. A good many creatures were seated at the table which ran down the center of the room, and at the head of which his Majesty’s Sister-in-Law presided, with a steaming urn before her. The Doctor-in-Law occupied a seat near by, and I heard him remark : “They are two minutes late, madame. I hope you are not going to overlook it,” to which the lady replied, grimly, “You leave that to me.” LATE FOR BREAKFAST. 61 “ Sit there,” she remarked coldly, motioning me to a vacant seat, and the Wallypug and A. Fish, Esq. , subsided into the two other unoccupied chairs on the other S1(16 of the table. CHAPTER V. THE TRIAL. FoR a moment nobody spoke. The Wallypug sat back in a huddled heap in his chair, looking up into Madame’s face with a scared expression. A. Fish unconcernedly began to eat some steam- ing porridge from a plate in front of him—and I sat still and waited events. A band of musicians in the gallery at the end of the hall were playing somewhat discordantly, till Madame turned around and called out in an angry voice : “ Just stop that noise, will you? I can’t hear myself speak.” The musicians immediately left ofl' playing with the exception of an old hippopotamus, play- 62 THE TRIAL. 63 ing a brass instrument, who being deaf, and very near-sighted, had neither heard what had been gjlllr “ sror THAT NOISE I " said nor observed that the others had stopped. VVith his eyes fixed on the music stand in front 64 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAN D. of him, he kept up a long discordant tootling on his own account, gravely beating time with his head and one foot. His Majesty’s Sister-in-Law turned around furi- ously once or twice, and then seeing that the creature did not leave off, she threw a tea-cup at his head, and followed it up with the sugar basin. The latter hit him, and hastily dropping his instrument, he looked over the top of his spec- tacles in surprise. Perceiving that the others had left ofi playing, he apparently realized what had happened, and meekly murmuring, “I beg your pardon,” he leaned forward with one foot up to his ear, to hear what was going on. “ I’m waiting to know what you have to say for yourselves,” resumed Madame, addressing the Wallypug and myself. “The traid was late, add there was a fog od THE TRIAL. 65 the lide,” explained A. Fish, Esq., mendaciously, with his mouth full of hot porridge. “A likely story !” said the good lady sarcas- tically. “ A very convenient excuse, I must say ; but that train’s- been late too many times re- cently to suit me. I don’t believe a Word of what you are saying.” “If I might venture a suggestion,” said the Doctor-in-Law, sweetly, “ I would advise that they should all be mulcted in heavy fines, and I will willingly undertake the collection of the money for a trifling consideration.” “ It’s too serious a matter for a fine,” said the Madame severely. “ What do you mean by it ?” she demanded, glaring at me furiously. “Well, I’m sure we are all very sorry,” I re- marked, “ but I really do not see that being two minutes late for breakfast is such a dreadful afiair after all.” “ Oh ! you don’t, don’t you ?” said the Sister- 5 66 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. in-Law, working herself up into a terrible state of excitement ; “ Well, I do, then. Do you sup- pose that you are going to do just as you please here? Do you think that I am going to allow myself to be brow-beaten and imposed upon by a mere man———” “ Who hasn’t a hat to his back,” interposed the Doctor-in-Law, spitefully. “Hold your tongue,” said the Sister-in-Law. “ I’m dealing with him now. Do you suppose,” she went on, “ that I am to be openly defied by a ridiculous Wallypug and a person with a cold in his head ? ” “I’b sure I havn’d,” declared A. Fish, Esq., indignantly. “By code’s beed cured this last bunth or bore.” “ Humph, sounds like it, doesn’t it?” said the lady, tauntingly. “However, we’ll soon settle this matter. We’ll have a public meeting, and see who’s to be master, you or I.” THE TRIAL. 67 “ Hooray, public meeting ! Public meeting !” shouted all the creatures excitedly. “ Yes, and at once,” said the Sister-in-Law impressively, getting up and leaving the table, regardless of the fact that scarcely anybody had as yet had any breakfast. The rest of the creatures followed her out of \ the room. ~ » When they had quite disappeared and the Wallypug, A. Fish, Esq., and myself were left alone, I thought that we might as well help our- selves to some breakfast. So I poured out some of the cofl'ee, which we found excellent, and had just succeeded in persuading his Majesty to try a little bread and butter, when some crocodiles appeared at the door and announced : “You are commanded to attend the trial at once.” “ What trial ? ” I asked. “Your own,” was the reply. “ You and the 68 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. Wallypug are to be tried for ‘ Contempt of Sister- in-Law,’ and A. Fish, Esq., is subpoenaed as a- witness.” “Oh, dear! Oh, dear!” said the poor Wally- pug, wringing his hands. “I know what that means. Whatever shall we do ?” _ “Dever bide, old chap. I do the best I cad to get you off,” said A. Fish, Esq. “ Cub alog, it will odly bake badders worse to de- lay.” ' ' ~ - ~ ‘ i ' So we allowed ourselves to be taken in charge by the crocodiles, and led to the Public Hall, his Majesty and myself being loaded with chains. I _ i - We found the Sister-in-Law and the Doctor-in- Law seated at the judges’ bench when we entered. The Sister-in-Law wore a judge’s red robe, and a long, flowing wig under her usual head-dress, and the Doctor-in-Law was provided with a slate, pencil, and sponge. THE TRIAL. 69 We were conducted to a kind of dock on one side of the bench, and on the other side appeared what afterwards transpired to be the witness box. The body of the hall was crowded with animals, craning their necks to catch a glimpse of us. ‘ ‘ Silence in court,” screamed out a gaily-dressed ostrich, and the trial began. “ We’ll take the man crea- “SMME IN COURT,“ ture first,” said the Sister-in- ‘°“"““’ “E °“““°“' Law, regarding me contemptuously. “ Now then, speak up ! What have you got to say for yourself ? ” “ There appears to be—” I began. “Silence in court,” shouted the ostrich, who was evidently an official. “Surely I may be allowed to explain,” I pro- tested. 70 ADVENTURES IN VVALLYPUGLAND. “ Silence in court,” shouted the bird again. I gave it up and remained silent. “Call the first witness,” remarked the Sister-in-Law im- patiently, and the Turtle, whom I had seen clean- ing the steps in the morning, walked briskly up into the witness-box. i “ Well, Turtle, what do you know about this man ? ” was the first question. “So please your Importance, I was cleaning my steps very early this morning, when the pris- oner opened the door in a stealthy manner and crept out very quietly. ‘Ho !’ thinks I, ‘this ’ere man’s up to no good,’ and so I keeps him in conversation a little while, but his language— oh !-—and what with one thing and another and noticing that he hadn’t a hat, I told him he had better move on. I saw him walk over to the rose garden and afterwards join the Wallypug and Mr. Fish. I think that’s all, except—ahem—that I missed a small piece of soap.” THE TRIAL. 71 “Soap?” said the Doctor-in-Law, elevating his eyebrows. “This is important—er—er—— what kind of soap ? ” l “Yellow,” said the Turtle. “ Fourpence a pound.” ‘ “ Hum ! ” said the Doctor-in-Law, “ very mys- terious, but not at all surprising from what I know of this person—call the next witness.” The next witness was the Cockatoo, who scrambled into the box in a great fluster. “He’s a story-teller, and a pickpocket, and a. backbiter, and a fibber, and a bottle-washer,” she screamed excitedly, “ and a heartless deceiver, and an organ-grinder, so there !” And she danced out of the witness-box again excitedly, muttering, “Down with him, down with him, the wretch,” all the way back to her seat. “Ah, that will about settle him, I fancy,” re- marked the Doctor-in-Law, putting down some figures on his slate and counting them up. 72 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLA.ND. “ What are you doing ? ” demanded the Sister- in-Law. “Summing up,” was the reply. “ The judges always sum up in England, you know; that’s thirty-two pounds he owes. Shall I collect it?” “ Wait a minute till I pass the sentence,” said the Sister-in-Law. “Prisoner at the bar,” she continued, “you have since your arrival here been given every latitude.” “And longitude,” interrupted the Doctor-in- Law. “ And have taken advantage of the fact to dis- obey the laws of the land in every possible way. You have heard the evidence against you, and I may say more clear proof could not have been given. It appears that you are a thoroughly worthless character, and it is with great pleasure I order you to be imprisoned in the deepest THE TRIAL 73 dungeon beneath the castle moat, and fined thirty-two pounds and costs.” _ Then pointing to me tragically, she called out, “ Officers ! take away that Bauble ! ” And I was immediately seized by two of the crocodiles, pre- paratory to being taken below. CHAPTER VI. ms MAJESTY IS nnrosnn. “ STOP a minute!” cried Madame, as I was being led away. “ We may as well settle the Wallypug’s affair at the same time and get rid of them both at once. Put the creature into the dock.” His Majesty was hustled forward, looking very nervous and white, as he stood trembling at the bar, while Madame regarded him fiercely. “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” she de- manded. “Ye-e-s!” stammered his Majesty, though what the poor little fellow had to be ashamed of was more than I could tell. 74 HIS MAJESTY IS DEPOSED. 75 “I should think so, indeed,” commented the lady. f‘ Now then, call the first witness.” The first witness was A. Fish, Esq., who coughed importantly as he stepped up into the box with a jaunty air. “ Let’s see, What’s your name?” asked the Doctor-in-Law, with a super- cilious stare. Now, this was absurd, for, of course, he knew as well as I did what the Fish’s name was; but as I heard him whisper to Madame, the judges in England always pretend not to know anything, and he was doing the same. “By dabe is A. Fish, you doe thadt well edough,” was the answer. _ “Don’t be impertinent, or I shall commit you for contempt,” said the Doctor-in-Law, severely. “ Now then—ah—you are a reptile of some sort, I believe, are you not?” “ Certainly dot ! ” was indignant reply. “ Oh ! I thought you were. Er—what do you do for a living I” 76 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. “ I’b a teacher of elocutiod add a lecturer,” said A. Fish, Esq., importantly. "> xi “Oh ! indeed. Teacher of elocution, are you? And how many pupils have you, pray ?” “ Well, ad presend I’ve odly wud,” replied A. Fish, Esq., “ and that the Wallypug.” “ Oh ! the Wallypug’s a pupil of yours, is he ? I suppose you find him very stupid, don’t you ?” “Doe, I don’t l” said A. Fish, Esq., loyally. “ He’s a very clever pupil, ad he’s gettig od splen- didly with his recitig.” “Oh! is he, indeed; and what do you teach him, may I ask ? ” “ I’ve taught hib ‘ Twinkle, twinkle, little star,’ ad ‘ Billy’s dead ad gone to glory,’ ad several other things frob Shakespeare.” “ Shakespeare ? hum— ha — Shakespeare Cl I seem to have heard the name before. Who is he ? ” “ A great poet, born in England in 1564, m’lud,” explained one of the Crocodiles. HIS MAJESTY IS DEPOSED. 77 “ Really ! He must be getting quite an old man by now,” said the Doctor-in-Law, vaguely. “He’s dead,” said A. Fish, Esq., solemnly. “ Dear me ! poor fellow ! what did he die of ? ” “ Don’t ask such a lot of silly questions,” inter- rupted the Sister-in-Law, impatiently; “get on with the business. What has A. Fish to say on behalf of the Wallypug ? that is the question.” “ He’s gettig od very dicely with his recitig,” insisted A. Fish, Esq. “ He was repeatig a speech from Richard III. to us this bordig whed the breakfast bell rang, ad that’s why we were late at table.” “ Oh l that’s the reason, is it *5” said the Sister- in-Law. “ Bah ! I’ve no patience with a man at his time of life repeating poetry. Positively childish, I call it. What was the rubbish ?” she demanded, turning to the Wallypug. “ A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse,” began his Majesty, feebly. 73 ADVENTURES m WALLYPUGLAND. “ What ! ” shrieked the Sister-in-Law, starting up from her seat. “Say that again ! ” “ ‘A-a horse, a horse, my-my kingdom for a horse,’ ” stammered the Wallypug, nervously. ‘f Traitor ! Monster! ” cried the Sister-in-Law furiously. “ Hear him ! ” she screamed. “He actually has the efirontery to tell us to our faces that he is willing to sell the whole of this kingdom for a horse. Oh! it is too much ! the heartless creature! Oh-h !” and the lady sank back and gasped hysterically. At this there was a terrible uproar in the court—the animals stood' up on the seats, frantically gesticulating and crying : “ Traitor ! ” “Down with the Wallypug ! ” “Off with his head !” “ Banish him !” “ Send him to jail ! ” while above all could be heard the Cock- atoo screaming: “I told you so. I told you so! Down with the Wallypug ! Off with his crown ! Dance on his sceptre, and kick his orb round the town.” HIS MAJESTY IS DEPOSED. 79 The poor Wallypug threw himself on his knees (( 7 and called out imploringly, It s all a mistake,” and I tried in vain to make myself heard above the uproar. V“ ' Q. / -I -"‘<'O -. \ *’ " _ _59-b- *.l. H ‘ \_}' 1 “TRAlTORl MONSTERI“ “err WITH H_S HEAD l " The whole assembly seemed to have taken leave of their senses, and for a few moments the utmost confusion prevailed. The creatures nearest to the Wallypug seemed as though they would tear him to pieces in their fury, and if it had not been for 80 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. his jailers, the Crocodiles, I am convinced they would have done him some injury. “This is outrageous,” I managed to shout at last. l “ You are making all this disturbance for nothing. What the Wallypug said was merely a quotation from one of Shakespeare’s plays.” “Oh, it’s all very well to try and blame it on to poor Shakespeare, when you know very well he’s dead and can’t defend himself,” was Madame’s reply. “That’s your artfulness. I’ve no doubt you are quite as bad as the Wallypug himself, and probably put him up to it.” “ Yes. Down with him ! Down with the hat- less traitor ! ” screamed the Cockatoo. And despite our protests the Wallypug and myself were loaded with chains and marched off by the Crocodiles, his Majesty having first been robbed of_his crown, sceptre, and orb, and other insignia of Royalty by the Doctor-in-Law, who hadn’t a kind word to say for his old sovereign, HIS MAJESTY IS DEPOSED. 81 and who seemed positively to rejoice at his Maj- esty’s downfall. I was highly indignant with his heartless ingratitude, but could do positively nothing, while all of my protests were drowned §- 9 THE WALLYPUG WAS LOADED WITH CHAINS AND MARCHED OFF BY THE CROCODILEB. in the babel of sounds made by the furious crea- tures in the body of the court. After being taken from the dock I was marched ofi in one direction and his Majesty in another, and the last view I had of the Wallypug was that 6 82 DVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. of the poor little fellow being limply dragged along by two Crocodiles in the direction of the dungeons. I was conducted to the top room of a tower, in an unfrequented part of the palace, and there left to my reflections, without any one to speak to for the remainder of the day. Towards the evening I heard some shouting at the bottom of the tower, and looking out as well as I could through the barred window, I saw the Doctor-in-Law rushing about with a packet of newspapers under one arm—and heard him call- ing out, in a loud voice, “ Special edition ! Arrest of the Wallypug ! Shocking discovery! The Wallypu g a traitor ! Sister-in-Law prostrate with excitement ! The Hatless Man implicated ! ” He was doing a roaring trade, as nearly everybody was buying papers of him, and excited groups of animals were standing about eagerly discussing what was-evidently the cause of a tremendous sensation in the kingdom of Why. ‘W ‘ll °>#_\ // ~4>»F.>T\,“;**- RR} /v_r .‘,§$r 2-— 4$fl’Pu ".- - °(/Q 5x;-\- “I saw the Doctor-in-Law rushing about with a packet of der one arm calling out in aloud voice, ‘Special land. newspapers un . edition! Arrest of the Wallypug!’ "—Page 82. Wall:/Ml9 __- s U I CHAPTER VII. FoILED ! I STooD at the barred window for some time, watching the Doctor-in-Law rushing about with his papers, and then started back as a huge and disreputable-looking black Crow settled on the stone ledge outside. I soon recognized him as being the bird who had behaved so impertinently to me on my first arrival at Why. “ Well !” he exclaimed, squeezing himself through the iron bars, and staring at me over the tops of his spectacles. “ You have got your- self into a pretty muddle now, I must say. I should think you are thoroughly ashamed of your- self, aren’t you ?” 83 84, ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. “ Indeed, I’m not,” I replied. “ I’m not con- scious of having done anything to be ashamed of, and as for that trial, why it was a mere farce, and perfectly absurd,” and I laughed heartily at the recollection of it. “H’m! I’m glad you find it so amusing,” re- marked the bird sententiously. “You won’t be so lighthearted about it to-morrow if they treat you as the papers say they purpose doing.” “Why,'what do they intend to do then?” I exclaimed, my curiosity thoroughly aroused. “ Execute you,” said the Crow solemnly. “ And serve you jolly well right, too.” “What nonsense !” I cried, “ they can’t exe- cute me for doing nothing.” “ Oh, you think so, do you ? Didn’t you insti- gate the Wallypug to become a traitor, and sell the kingdom for the sake of a horse?” said the Crow, referring to his paper. “ Certainly not ! ” I cried emphatically. FOILED z 85 “ Well, they say you did, anyhow,” said the Crow, “ and they intend to chop ofi your head and the Wallypug’s too. It won’t matter you not having a hat then,” he continued grimly. “ But you don’t mean it, surely !” I exclaimed. “ They certainly can’t be so ridiculous as to treat the affair seriously.” “Well, you see,” said the bird, “ things with- out doubt look very black against you. In the first place what did you want to come here at all for ?” “ I’m sure I wish I hadn’t,” I remarked. “ Just so ! So does every one else,” said the Crow rudely. “ Then, when you did come, you were without a hat, which is in itself a very sus- picious circumstance. ” “ Why ?” I interrupted. “ Respectable people don’t go gadding about without hats,” said the bird contemptuously, turning up his beak. “ And then, the first morn- 86 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. ing after your arrival you must needs go prowl- ing about the grounds before any one else was up‘)? " 4;: 4 "“‘i i *4»-- 2 wt? Z ' 2 - 2%: 1:‘ w/ P - r‘ “wan mm YOU some T0 LEAVE mu IN YOUR w1u.?" ‘ “What are you going to leave me in your will ?” he continued insinuatingly. “ Nothing at all,” I declared. “ And besides, I’m not going to make a will. I don let them kill me without a good struggle, I can ’t intend to tell you.” . FOILED 2 87 “H’m, you might as well let me have your watch and chain. It will only go to the Doctor- in-Law if you don’t. He is sure to want to grab everything. I expect he will want to seize the throne when the Wallypug is executed. I saw him just now trying on the crown, and smirking and capering about in front of the looking-glass.” “The Doctor-in-Law is an odious little mon- ster,” I exclaimed. “ Oh, very well,” cried the Crow, wriggling through the bars, “ I’ll just go and tell him what you say. I’ve no doubt he will be delighted to hear your opinion of him—and perhaps it will in- duce him to add something to your punishment. I hope so, I’m sure—ha—ha !” And the wretched ill-omened bird flew away laughing derisively. I could not help feeling rather uncomfortable at the turn which events had taken, for there was no knowing to what lengths the extraor- “mu _ “ ‘gr e you there?” cried A. Fish, Esq. “Yes; what is it?" I VVallypu gland. —Page 89. ‘ ‘Ar asked. av- _ J roman 1 39 “ Proposed to the curate, and so all those slippers will be wasted. Don’t you think we had better—” But I rang off and stopped the connection, for I felt sure that the communication was not in- tended for me. Presently there was another ring at the bell, and this time I found myself connected with the exchange. I knew that it was the exchange, because they were all quarreling so. “ It was all your fault ! ” “ No it wasn’t.” “Yes it was.” “ Well, you know A. Fish, Esq., is 13,57 9—so there.” “ Yes, and he wanted to be connected with the West Tower in the Palace.” “ Connect me with 13,579, please,” I called. And a moment or two afterwards I heard a well-known voice sounding through the instru- ment, and I knew that A. Fish, Esq., was at the other end. “ Are you there ?” he cried. 90 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. “Yes ; what is it ? ” I asked. “There isn’t a biddit to spare,” he gasped; “lift up the loose stode dear the fireplace, ad you will find a secret staircase leadig to the dudgeod, where the Wallypug is ibprisod ; hurry for your life, he has discovered a way of escape.” I dropped the receiver, and flew to the fireplace. Yes, sure enough, there was the loose stone that A. Fish, Esq., had spoken of, and having raised it with some difiiculty I found a narrow spiral staircase beneath, leading down into mysterious depths. I plunged into the darkness, and after walking round and round, and down and down, for a con- siderable time I saw a faint light at the other end. I hurried forward as quickly as I could, and found myself in a dimly-lighted dungeon. The Wally- pug was here alone, and was busily cramming everything he could lay his hands on into an enormous carpet-bag. FOILED. 91 “Thank goodness, you have come ! ” he ex- claimed, in a terrible fluster, when he saw me. “ I was afraid you would be'too late. We must escape at once if we would save our necks. Fortu- nately, I have just remembered that this dun- geon is connected with the shute which the late Wallypug had constructed between here and Ling Choo, in China, which is on the other side of the world—it is enormously long and very steep, but quite safe—we must use it in order to get away. We are to be executed in the morning if we stay here, so I am informed; therefore, we must lose no time. I have just finished packing up. Ah ! What’s that ? ” he exclaimed, listening intently. “ Quick ! they are coming !” he cried, as sounds were heard in the passage outside the dungeon door; and touchingaspring, an enormous open- ing appeared in the wall. His Majesty gave me asudden push, which sent me sprawling on to a 92 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. l'n and jumping down smooth and very steep inc 1 e, 1 a ' into the unknown. himself, we slid rapid y aw y by the cri P \§\ \ \~ \ \ 2 Z SHUTE. WE BLID RAPIDLY DOW'N THE That we were only just in time was evidenced es of rage and disappoin ursued us from the dungeon, as the Doctor-in- tment which roman. 93 Law and the other creatures saw us escape from their clutches, and we could hear the Cockatoo’s shrill cries grow fainter and fainter as we sped swiftly down the shute towards Ling Choo CHAPTER VIII. THE LITTLE BLUE PEOPLE. DoWN, and down, and down we flew, quicker and quicker each moment. The shute was as smooth as glass, and grew steeper than ever as we descended. His Majesty was a little way be- hind me, but the terrific rate at which we were traveling made it impossible for us to hold any conversation. Once or twice Ishouted out some- thing to him, but receiving no reply I soon gave that up. The attitude in which I was slipping down the shute was a most uncomfortable one, but after a considerable time I managed to turn over on to my back, and eventually to twist around, till, at any rate, I was traveling feet fore- most, which was some slight consolation, although 94 THE LITTLE BLUE PEOPLE. " 95 I naturally I was dreadfully concerned as to what was to be our fate at the other end of our journey. “ Slipping along at this rate,” I thought, “ we shall probably be smashed to a jelly when we do arrive at the bottom. At any rate I shall, for the Wallypug and the carpet-bag are bound to de- scend upon my devoted head.” By and by I began to grow very hungry, and then came another dismal thought. Supposing this extraordinary trip continued for any length of time, how should we get on for food ? We seemed to be traveling through a kind of tunnel, with very smooth walls on either side. The Wallypug had said that we were bound for China, and that that country was on the other side of the world. If so, then we were in for a pretty long journey. I twisted my head around, and tried to get a glimpse of his Majesty, who was only a few yards above me. I could see that he was struggling to get something out of the 95 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. carpet-bag, and a few minutes afterwards a little packet of sandwiches came whizzing past my head. I managed to catch it as it fell upon the SEE HE WAS STRUGGLING T0 GET SOMETHIN I COULD G OUT OF THE CARPET-BAG. highly-polished boards by stretching out one leg just in time to prevent it from slipping too far. The sandwiches were very good, and I enjoyed them immensely, and for a few moments almost forgot our strange surroundings. I was soon, THE LITTLE BLUE PEOPLE. 97 E however, recalled to a sense of our condition by the fact that we suddenly emerged from the tun- nel into broad daylight, the shute apparently de- scending the steep sides of a high mountain. As soon as my eyes became accustomed to the light I noticed, to my great surprise, that everything in this new country was of a deep rich blue color. The rocks on the mountain side, the strange- looking trees, and even the birds—of which I could see several flying about—were all of the same unusual tint. I had hardly noticed this fact, as we flew down the side of the mountain, when I felt myself sud- denly pulled up with a jerk, and lifted high into the air in a most unaccountable manner, and when, after a moment or two, I recovered from the shock, I found that both the Wallypug and myself were suspended from a line at the end of two long fishing-rods which were fastened into a quaint little bridge crossing the shute. ‘ 7 98 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. There we hung, dangling and bobbing about inifront of each other in the most ridiculous way, the dear Wallypug still clinging to his carpet-bag with one hand, while in the other he clutched a half-eaten sandwich. I shall never forget his Majesty’s surprised expression when he found himself hanging up the air in this unexpected way. “Like being a bird, isn’t it ?” he remarked when at last he found a voice. “ H’m, not much,” I replied. “I feel more like a fish at the end of this line. I wish some one would come and help us ofl:'. There’s a hook, or something, sticking into my shoulder, and it hurts no end.” You see there was evidently something at the end of the lines which had caught into our clothes, and the hook, or whatever it was, just touched my shoulder. It did not hurt very much, but just enough to make me feel un- comfortable. “ I wonder where we are,” said the Wallypug, #1, ‘E II L”! l //// ‘iv ~\'€I \_\__ hi I ‘J ' in 6 _ *___"_mk_v__va’_M§ K _ ."_L__I 5% _ \ {_v _ H ‘ “ K _ g > I \ h__ \_ ‘V ‘ ooking about be sure. ” allypugkmd. Hwww mm, Hg am Wm we wf '_ u ,&m MO By Wm mm ‘W3 MM nW “I wo him. Page 98. THE LITTLE BLUE PEOPLE. 99 looking about him. “ Whata funny color every- thing is, to be sure.” “ Yes, isn’t it ?” I replied. And truly it was a most remarkable scene. There was a curious little kind of temple in the distance and a number of most extraordinary-looking trees; and these, and the grass, and, in fact, everything that could be seen, were of a bright blue tint. “ I know what those trees are called,” said the Wallypug, pointing to some remarkable looking ones, with a lot of large blue globes on the branches instead of leaves. “ What ? ” I asked. “ Gombobble trees,” said his Majesty. “ I’ve seen pictures of them before.” “ Where ? ” I asked, more for the sake of some- thing to say than for anything else. “ On our willow-pattern plates at home,” said his Majesty. “ There were those and the wiggle- woggely trees, you know.” 1()() ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. “ I wonder,” he continued speculatively, “if by any chance we are there.” “ What do you mean ? ” I asked. “I wonder if this is the place which is shown on the willow-pattern plates,” said his Majesty. Before I could reply we heard an excited excla- mation from the bank, and turning around as well as we could we saw two curious little blue people dressed in flowing blue costumes. “Oh !” they exclaimed, when they saw us, throwing up their hands in a comical little way, (( 7 we ve caught something. What funny things! What are they ?” “ I wonder if they bite,” cried the shorter of the two. “Do you bite, you funny things, you?” cried the other, shaking her head at us. “ N o, of course not,” said the Wallypug. “ Help us to get down, will you, please?” “ Not yet,” said both of the little blue creatures, CHAPTER IX. THE WALLYPUG RECOVERS HIS onown. HIS Majesty and myself stared at each other in dismay. Our position was growing more and more uncomfortable every moment, and, added to this, I had a growing impression that the rods to which we were attached would sooner or later break with our weight. “ Well ! I do think that they might have helped us off the hooks, at any rate,” grumbled his Majesty, discontentedly. “So do I,” I rejoined, and was about to add something else when my attention was attracted to the peculiar behavior of the two blue birds which we had previously noticed circling about over our heads. 103 104 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. l They were wheeling round and round in a most eccentric manner, and as they drew closer we could see that they were as singular in appear- ance as they were in their manner. “ Why, they’ve got ever so many wings !” cried his Majesty in surprise. “ Go away l ” he shouted, as one of them fluttered past his face. The birds, however, were not to be got rid of so easily, and, uttering shrill little cries, they hovered about over his Majesty’s head, every now and then making a vicious dart at the sandwich which he still held in one hand. “ Oh ! take them away !—take them away !” he shouted, dropping his carpet-bag in alarm, and evi- dently forgetting that I was as incapable as he was of driving them off. “ Throw your sandwich away !” I shouted ; “ it’s that they are after, I believe.” His Majesty did so, and we soon had the satis- I‘ THE WALLYPUG RECOVERS HIS CROWN. 105 faction of seeing the birds squabbling over it on the bank at the side of the shute. / l *4. “ so AWAY I " SHOUTED HIS MAJESTY. “ Fortunate I tied my bag to the string of my cloak, wasn’t it ?” remarked the Wallypug, when they had gone. “ I should have lost it else. Oh, 106 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. look ! What’s that coming down the shute ? ” he cried, as something suddenly came rolling and bounding down the steep incline. “ O—o—o—h ! ” he continued delightedly, as it stopped, caught in the mouth of the carpet-bag which, attached to the cord of his Majesty’s cloak, dangled down the shute. “ Why, it’s my crown ! They must have thought that I wanted it, and sent it down after me. How very kind of them. Wasn’t it ? ” I had my own opinions on the subject, and held my peace, for I felt quite sure that it was not through any intentional kindness that the crown had found its way to its proper owner. His Majesty very carefully drew up the carpet- bag with its precious burden, and soon had the in- tense satisfaction of putting the crown of Why on his royal head once more. “ Oh ! ” he cried with a little sigh of satisfaction, “ it does seem nice to have it on again. I’m afraid THE WALLY PUG RECOVERS HIS CROWN. 107 that I should soon have 1 caught a cold in my head, like A. Fish, Esq., if I had gone without it ,3 much longer. ll" (pl “ Gracious !” he cried, §r"'//I&l_. pointing excitedly to- wards the top of the |_ shute, “ there’s some- 1., \'\ thing else coming down l Why it’s the Doctor-in- Law and Madame. Oh ! —and the Cockatoo-—and -—the Rabbit and the Mole. Bless me! if the whole of Why isn’t com- ing along.” It was quite true; at- tached to a strong rope a long line of creatures /'1 ,‘ ‘.1 - '¢€ WIS ll § 3‘ llqiiq, \ _ ) ‘n \ v l‘ ‘ \'. \. -1 :1 . lil A LONG LINE OF CREATURES WAS COfiNG DOWN THE SHUTTE- 108 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. was coming down the shute, the Doctor-in-Law leading thehway. He soon caught sight of us dangling at the end of our rods, and calling out “Halt!” in a loud voice, he pulled at the rope as a sign that they were to stop. This signal was passed along by the others, and the Cockatoo, who was attached to the rope in a very uncomfortable manner, gave a loud “ squ-a-a-k ” as the sudden jerk caused it to tighten about her neck. The signal, however, managed somehow to reach those at the other end, for the procession suddenly came to a standstill. “ Oh, there you are then ! ” called out the Doc- tor-in-Law in a severe voice. “ Thought you had escaped us, I suppose.” The Cockatoo, in a voice choking with rage, and the tightened rope, shrieked out, “ Down with the traitors !” while the Rabbit passed the word along, “ It’s all right. We’ve found them.” 110 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. at us, by means of the bridge. The rope, how- ever, by which he was attached to the Sister-in- Law was not sufficiently long to enable him to do this, and while he was unfastening it there was a sudden cry in the direction of the tunnel, and a moment afterwards, screaming, kicking, and struggling, the whole party rapidly disappeared down the shute. The rope had given way ! “He, he, he! Ha, ha!” laughed his Majesty, as the huddled mass vanished in the distance. “ What a lark! Oh what a muddle they will be in when they reach the bottom.” l I tried to imagine what would be the result, and came to the conclusion that, uncomfortable as I was in my present position,’ I would rather be where I was than attached to the rope with the others. In the meantime the little blue people, their curiosity evidently aroused by the noise, were THE WALLYPUG RECOVERS HIS CROWN. 111 hurrying towards us as quickly as possible, bring- ing with them a very stout blue person, who was waddling along, being alternately pushed and pulled by the others in their eagerness to reach us. “ See, there they are ! ” cried the little lady whose name we afterwards found out was Gra- Shus. “Oh my ! Aren’t they a funny color?” “ Shall we get them down ?” asked the other, whose name was Mi-Hy. I The little fat man regarded us critically, and said nothing for a moment or two, then he nodded his head violently. “ You’re sure you won’t bite?” said Mi-Hy, looking up into my face. “ N o, of course not. Don’t be silly,” I replied. Thereupon, after a great deal of pulling and pushing on the part of Mi-Hyland Gra-Shus, the rods to which we were attached were swung around, and the Wallypug and myself alighted, one on either side of the bank. 112 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. His Majesty smoothed his rumpled garments, and, adjusting his crown to a more becoming angle, positively swaggered across the bridge to where the three little blue people stood in a line to receive us. “ This is Ho-Lor,” said Mi-Hy, pushing the little fat man forward, while Gra-Shus bashfully hid behind the ample folds of his gorgeous blue skirts. “ How do you do ? ” asked his Majesty gra- ciously. “ Do what ?” asked Ho-Lor, smilingly. “I mean, how are you ?” explained the Wally- pug. “You mean what am I, I suppose?” said the little man, putting on a puzzled expression. “ N o, I don’t,” said the Wallypug. “I mean just what I say—How are you ?” “ But I don’t understand,” replied Ho-Lor. “How am I what ‘Q ” “ His Majesty the Wallypug of Why,” I ex- ~' .°‘0:.°\-»2 .2 3* "' :. --- ._ - :0- Mm 1|‘! _ll///[Ulla Q i £'\“\~g§ His Majesty swaggered across the bridge to where the three little blue people stood in a line to receive us. —Page 112. Wall;/pugland. THE WALLYPUG RECOVERS HIS CROWN. 113 plained, “wishes to say, that he hopes you are quite well.” “ Oh ! I beg your pardon” said Ho-Lor. “ How very stupid of me. But you know, the fact is, we get such a lot of foreigners down here, and they do ask such funny questions. A French- man we caught the other day actually asked me how I carried myself. Wasn’t it rude of hi1n—- considering my weight too ?” “You’re a Wallypug, too, aren’t you?” asked Gra-Shus, looking smilingly up into my face. “ Oh, no ! ” I replied ; “ I am only his Majesty’s guest.” “His Majesty ! Do you mean that?” said Mi- Hy, pointing to the Wallypug. The Wallypug drew himself up with an air of offended dignity. “I am not a ‘that’; I’m a kind of a king,” he explained, in a tone of remonstrance. “ g)-ooh !” exclaimed the little blue people, fall- 114 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. ing down on their knees and bowing their fore- heads to the ground, with their hands stretched out before them. “ Pray forgive us, Majestuous “PRAY ronorvm vs,“ mxcnuman THE BLUE PEOPLE Wallypug, we thought you were only an ordinary person. You see we’ve never caught a king be- fore. Oh ! don’t chop our heads off, will you ? ” THE WALLYPUG RECOVERS HIS CROWN. 115 “ Of course not,” said his Majesty, kindly. “But kings always chop ofi people’s heads, don’t they ?” cried the little people, anxiously. “Oh dear no,” said the Wallypug. “Get up; or you’ll spoil your clothes. Could - we have a cup of tea, please? We are rather fatigued with our long journey.” The little blue people immediately jumped up and led the way to where behind a clump of curious blue trees the quaintest little boat you could possibly imagine was moored against the bank. A blue lake stretched as far as the eye could reach, and a number of little islands were dotted about it. On one, a little larger than the rest, a quaint little blue pagoda could be seen. CHAPTER X. THE HOME on H0-LOR. “I LIVE over there,” said Ho-Lor with pride, pointing to the island with the pagoda on it. “Mi-Hy shall row us across, and Gra-Shus shall make us some tea.” “ Oh! yes,” said Grashus clapping her hands. “And we’ll show Mr. Majesty Wallypug our beautiful pet dog—won’t we ? ” It was impossible not to be interested in these quaint and simple-minded little folk, and after we had all stepped into the little boat and Mi-Hy had pushed off, his Majesty was soon chatting affably with Ho-Lor, who explained that he was a mandarin of the Blue Button, and ninety-eighth- cousin-twice-removed to the Emperor of China. 116 THE HOME or HO-LOR. 117 We soon reached the opposite bank, and his Majesty having been ceremoniously assisted out of the boat, we ascended a slight hill, and soon found ourselves before Ho-Lor’s residence. To our great surprise we found that it exactly re- sembled the building so familiar to all who have seen a willow-pattern plate. The tall pillars at the portico, the quaintly- shaped curly roofs, the little zig-zag fence run- ning along the path, and the curious trees, all seemed to be old friends—while two little islands, one of which was connected to the mainland by a quaint bridge, completed the picture. ' The two birds, which had by this time finished squabbling about the sandwich, were billing and cooing over our heads, and the sight of them seemed suddenly to convince us of‘ the identity of the spot. l “Why, this must be the land of the Willow- pattern plate,” cried his Majesty excitedly. 118 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. “Yes, it is,” admitted Ho-Lor. “Don’t you think it is a very pretty spot ?” “ Charming,” declared the Wallypug ; “ I have often wanted to come here.” “ The real name of the place,” said Ho-Lor, “is Wer-har-wei, and it is a portion of China; but come, you must see our little dog; I can hear that Mi-Hy has gone to fetch him.” “His name is Kis-Smee,” said Gra-Shus, “and he is such a dear old thing. We’ve had him ever since he was a puppy.” There was a sound of barking, and a confused clattering of chains, which told of a dog being unloosed. A moment afterwards there came bounding out of the house the most extraordinary- looking creature that I have ever beheld. It was a very fat and atrociously hideous ani- mal, bearing but slight resemblance to a dog. Its enormous mouth wore a perpetual grin, and was decorated at the corners with curious little scal- -ifi -§;)|:‘au I17?“ ‘M “.0. 1, -0- ‘I0 5 I I)-0 Wit 5 o <~ ‘v. "M Z//4§ .‘I_‘I/J, \’\ .. 1'4"" U |‘di-ii‘|\l.||/ it i 4( Come along, good dog! come and speak to the pretty Wallypugs.”—Page 119. WalluP“9l¢md- THE HOME or HO-LOR. 119 lops. It was bandy-legged, and its hinder legs were much longer than the front ones. Added to this, the skin on its haunches was wrinkled up into curious kind of rosettes, while its tail was really all sorts of shapes. This beautiful creature came careering down the steps, dragging Mi-Hy with him, and was hailed with delight by Gra-Shus, who cried in endearing tones: “Come along, good dog! Come and speak to the pretty Wallypugs. Good Kis-Smee. Good dog, then!” His Majesty clutched my arm nervously, and retreating behind the carpet-bag, regarded Kis- Smee with a certain amount of suspicion, while I must confess to having experienced a slight feel- ing of uneasiness myself. For if Kis-Smee took it into his ugly head to object to us, there was no knowing what might be the result. There was no occasion for alarm, however, for 120 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. Kis-Smee turned out to be one of the mildest and best-behaved of dogs. He made great friends with the Wallypug at once, and clumsily gamboled, or, as his Majesty explained it, “ flumped,” about him in the most friendly manner. “ He doesn’t take to strangers as a rule,” said Ho-Lor, “ but he certainly seems to have taken a fancy to you.” i “ He is a beautiful creature,” said his Majesty, politely patting the huge animal a little nerv- ously. “ Oh l I don’t know about that,” remarked Ho-Lor, looking very pleased nevertheless. “ He is of a very rare breed, though.” “ What kind of dog do you call him ?” I inquired. “ He’s a smirkler dog,” replied Ho-Lor proudly. “ A what ? ” I exclaimed. THE HOME OF HO-LOR. 121 if A smirkler. He smirkles for mivlets you know,” was the reply. “ Good gracious. What are they ?” cried the Wallypug. (( Mivlets ? ” asked Ho-Lor. “EE Is A BEAUTIFUL C'R.l!A'1‘URE," SAID HIS mumsrv. His Majesty nodded. (4 (( Why young mivs, of course.” But what are mivs?” asked his Majesty curiously. ‘( Things that are smirkled for,” replied Ho- 122 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. Lor promptly. “ But come. I see that Gra- Shus has prepared some tea for us." We entered the little blue temple and were each presented with a little blue rug, upon which we sat cross-legged, as we observed that Mi-Hy and Ho-Lor were doing. Gra-Shus served us in blue cups what tasted like delicious tea, but which looked exactly like blue ink. No sooner had we taken a few sips than I noticed that the Wally- pug was slowly turning a light blue color, while at the same moment he stared at me fixedly a moment, and then exclaimed : “Why, what a funny color you are ! ” I looked at my hands, and found them a rich blue shade. “ We look like the Oxford and Cambridge boat race, don’t we?” he continued : “ I’m so glad that I’m Cambridge !” I did not at all approve of the change, for although we did not look so very remarkable in 124 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. finished our tea Mi-Hy brought around the little blue boat again, and we went for a row_ on the ornamental lake. Somehow or another Kis-Smee was left behind, and although the Wallypug suggested putting -///\ /‘I // WE WENT FOR A ROW ON THE ORNAMENTAL LAKE. back for him, it was finally decided, however, not to do so. “ Perhaps he will smirkle a mivlet while we are away,” said Ho-Lor. And I confidently hoped that he might do so, for I was as curious as was the Wallypug to know what the term meant. THE HOME or H0-LOR. 125 Just then we passed a curious little blue island with one tiny house on it, standing in the midst of some curious trees and strangely-shaped rocks. “ Let’s go ashore and fish,” suddenly suggested Mi-Hy. “ Oh ! yes, do,” cried the Wallypug. “ I love fishing ; but I’m never allowed to do so in my own land.” “ Why not ?” inquired Ho-Lor. “ The fishes object,” replied his Majesty, sadly ; “ they say that it gives them the tooth- ache.” i “ How absurd of them,” said Ho-Lor, sym- pathetically. “ Yes ; isn’t it perfectly ridiculous ?” replied his Majesty ; “ for they really haven’t any teeth, you know.” By this time the boat had reached the shore, and we all scrambled out and assisted Ho-Lor up the steep rocks. . 126 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. From within the little blue house Mi-Hy brought some rods and lines, and we began to fish. There was no bait of any kind, but this Ho-Lor explained was not necessary. Under the circumstances I was not surprised to find that we did not get a bite for a consider- able time. - At last, however, the Wallypug announced with a delighted shout, “ I’ve got one ! ” and we all ran over to see what it was. Slowly his Majesty wound up his line, while Mi-Hy hung over the rocks with a landing net. “ I’ve got it!” he shouted. “ Oh, what a beauty !” and diving his hand into the net, he drew out--—what do you think? An empty ink- bottle! I couldn’t help laughing at his Majesty’s disappointed face, but Ho-Lor seemed positively to think that it was acatch worth having. “ It’s in capital condition,” he exclaimed, examining THE HOME or HO-LOR. 127 it critically, “ and has. a beautifully-shaped neck.” “ But it’s only an old ink bottle,” objected the poor Wallypug. “ What else did you expect to catch, I should like to know ?” said Mi-Hy. “ Some people are never satisfied. Many a time I have fished here a whole day and only caught a piece of blotting paper or a pen-wiper.” “What funny things to catch !” exclaimed the Wallypug. “ They are very appropriate things to get from a lake of ink,” said Ho-Lor rather huffily. “ Oh ! I’m sure I beg your pardon, I had no idea it was real ink,” said his Majesty, apologet- ically. “ I don’t think we had better fish any longer,” he said putting away his rod. “ I hoped to have caught some real fish, you know.” “ Never heard of them. What are they?” asked Ho-Lor. 128 ADVENTURES IN WVALLYPUGLAND. “ Why, things with scales, you know,” ex- claimed the Wallypug. “ Oh, you mean weighing machines,” said Mi-Hy. “ No l no ! I mean—” “ Hark ! what’s that?” said Ho-Lor, putting his hand to his ear. “ Come on ! That’s Kis-Smee barking. I expect he has smirkled a mivlet. Come along, hurry up, or we shall be too late.” We hurriedly launched the little boat, and were soon on our way across the little lake. The sound of furious barking, mingled with a strangely familiar voice, came from behind Ho-Lor’s house, and hurrying forward we came suddenly upon a remarkable sight. Kis-Smee was prancing madly round a gom- bobble tree to the lower branches of which A. Fish, Esq., was clinging in an agony of fright. @“§@\$ fies-s ¢.&"’a~\k “’ ll-El. 2/hr 1' ll! ,‘I . ‘A— Kis-Smee was prancing madly round a gombobble tree to the lower branches of which A. Fish, Esq., was clinging in an agony of fright.—Page 128. W¢ll1/P149l<1fld- 130 ADVENTURES IN WVALLYPUGLAND. Kis-Smee off as we approached. “ Keep hib of$. Take hib away! ” “ It’s all right,” said his Majesty, reassuringly, “ he won’t bite you now that we are here.” Indeed, directly the dog discovered that A. Fish, Esq., was a friend of the Wallypug’s, he went up to him, and grinning in an absurd way, held out a paw to be shaken, which favor, how- ever, was declined by A. Fish, Esq., who evidently regarded these overtures with a certain amount of suspicion, and looked greatly relieved when Ho-Lor and Mi-Hy, seeing that we were engaged with a friend, considerately left us to ourselves, and took Kis-Smee away with them. CHAPTER XI. THE WHY AND WER-HAR-WEI RAILWAY. “ FANCY seeing you!” cried his Majesty, as we sat down beside the Fish under the gombobble tree. “How ever did you get here? And what’s the news at Why ? ” “ Oh, thad’s a log story,” said A. Fish, Esq., and proceeded to tell us how that after we had escaped from Why, by means of the shute, there had been a great commotion in the place, and the Doctor-in-Law was furious. He declared that we should not slip through his hands in this way, and had a long conversation with the Sister-in- Law and the others as to the best way of affect- ing our capture. Finally they decided to attach 131 - 132 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. themselves to a long rope, and come down the shute in pursuit of us. A. Fish, Esq., made the excuse that his cold was too bad to permit him to join the party, and waited till they had got a good way down, and then cut the rope. He thought that this would be the best way of being of serv- ice to us. And so it was, of course, for good- ness only knows where our pursuers were by this time. A little while after he had cut the rope A. Fish, Esq., came across the Crow, who told him that he had been informed by two dufl"er birds (which was the name of the curious blue birds which we had noticed) that we were here at Wer-har-wei, and had immediately set about to discover the best way to get here. He went in the first place to the station-master at Why, and found him, as usual, engaged in squabbling with the porter. THE WHY AND WER-HAR-WEI RAILWAY. 133 They were arguing as to whether a certain sig- nal should be up or down. The station-master declared that the signal should always be up on the up line and down on \ LB USIJLL THE STATION-MASTER WAS SQUABBLING WITH THE PORTER. the down line. This the porter would not agree to, so it was at last decided to put one up and one down and leave them so, and then the engine- drivers could do as they pleased about going on or stopping. 134 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. When they had quite settled this dispute, A. Fish, Esq., had asked them if there were any trains running between Why and this place, and at first they had said no ; but presently the porter remembered that there was a certain train which started on some days and went no one knew where. N o one was ever known to travel by it, and the engine-driver, who was an old salamander by the name of Mike, was deaf and dumb, and could neither read nor write, so that they had never been able to find out from him where his train went to. It had some letters on it which corre- sponded with those on the station-master’s collar, but no one had ever been able to discover what they meant. They were popularly supposed to stand for Weary Waiting and Horribly VVobbly Railway, the initials on the station-master’s collar being W.W.H.W.R., but A. Fish, Esq., had by a brilliant inspiration come to the conclusion THE WHY AND WER-HAR—WEI RAILWAY. 135 I I that they stood for Why and Wer-har-wei Rail- way, and when the train, which consisted of only one carriage and the engine, came into the station, he jumped in, to the intense surprise of Mike, who had never had a passenger before, and who in his agitation recklessly put two shovelfuls of coal into the furnace, and, giving a frantic “toot” on the whistle, started off at full speed. “ It was a dreadful journey,” said A. Fish, Esq., “ ad I dever had so bedy ups and dowds id all by life.” We didn’t quite understand what he meant by this at the moment, but a little later on we dis- covered the reason to our cost. After an eventful journey, A. Fish, Esq., had arrived at this place, and had found on alighting from the train that no one was to be seen, and he was just about to kick at the door of Ho-Lor’s house when Kis-Smee came bounding out. Poor A. Fish, Esq., had been terribly alarmed, and had 136 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. made for the nearest tree, and was vainly trying to climb up into it when we made our appearance. “ If I were you,” he advised, “ I should cer- taidly cub back to Why at odce, for the people all seeb to be rejoiced thad Madame and the Doctor- id-Law have gode away, ad I think thad they would willingly forgive you for having said, ‘ Ad horse ! ad horse ! by kigdob for ad horse !’ ” After talking the matter over for a few minutes we decided that perhaps it would be the best thing to do, and as the little blue station was only just at the back of Ho-Lor’s house we thought that perhaps by hurrying we should catch the same train back to Why by which A. Fish, Esq., had come. So we set out to try and find the little blue people, to bid them “ good-by,” and thank them for their hospitality. We found them at the station sitting beside Mike, to whom it appeared they were in the habit of being very kind on his occasional visits. THE WHY AND WER-HAR—WEI RAILWAY. 137 They seemed quite sorry to hear that we were leaving them so soon, and insisted upon making the Wallypug a present of Kis-Smee, andiof stuff- ing into my pocket an enormous gombobble as a souvenir of my visit. Then there was just time to look at the “train” before we started. I must say that of all crazy, ramshackle afiairs it was quite the worst that I had ever seen. To begin with, the wheels were all sorts of shapes, and not one of them was quite round. There was only one compartment, and that had no windows in it. And the engine ! Well, it was something like Pufiing Billy, only a little worse. There was no room for Kis-Smee in the carriage, so we were obliged to chain him up on the roof, evidently much to his disgust. I must confess to acertain feeling of uneasiness when, having taken our seats, the engine gave a snort, and puffing out a volume of dense black smoke and smuts, started us on our journey. 138 ADVENTURES IN VVALLYPUGLAND. By reason of the odd shape of our wheels and the unevenness of the rails the carriage pitched and tossed about like a ship at sea, and our pas- sage over a little wooden viaduct, where on either side the little blue people stood waving their adieux with quaint little flags, was, I am con- vinced, attended with considerable danger. It was really a dreadful journey. The carriage pitched backward and forward, and rolled from side to side with every revolution of the wheels, while poor Kis-Smee, on the top, kept slipping about in the most painful manner. His Maj esty’s carpet-bag, which had not been securely fastened to the top of the carriage, slipped ofl' soon after we started, and though we rang the bell violently Mike refused to stop, and it was lost forever. “Fortunately there was not much in it l” his Majesty gasped between the jerks which the irregular motion of the train occasioned. “ Only a tooth-brush and small cake of soap.” I5 X p ~J 1,‘ _Z D __ 4 i\-an "‘*“.i ALl WRIGHT __I_ 5 fl —\_-_-- --'-""' The carriage pitched backward and rolled from side to side. —Pa.ge 138. - ' Wwllymugland ' u 0 / 'i* -_ _ — _Q—_ ‘ - 140 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. “ Why ! I thought you were deaf and dumb,” I cried. “ Och—that’s all gammon sure—~oi can talk all roight, and hear all roight too when it suits me purpose. Well, now, ye see when the dog fell off the roof he upset me coal-scuttle, and never a bit of coal is there left. Would ye be good enough, kind gentlemen, to go back and pick some up oflf the line, it’s only about a moile and a half back.” The engine, it appeared, could not be reversed, and, as there was no chance of getting a supply anywhere else, nothing remained but for his Majesty and myself to go back with the coal-scut- tleand pick some of the spilt coal up. Kis-Smee bounded delightedly at our side ; but we did not take A. Fish, Esq., with us, as he com- plained of a pain in his tail, and we feared that the long walk might make it worse. “ I shall amuse byself while you are away by THE WHY AND WER—HAR—WEI RAILWAY. 141 giving Bike ad elocutiod lessod,” he said, as we left him. But Mike, who was undoing his bundle prepar- atory to having some dinner, did not look very enthusiastic over the project, and I am almost certain I heard him mutter, “ Not if I know it,” as we were walking away. We found the coal, as we expected, beside the line, after we had walked a little over a mile, and his Majesty and myself picked it up, and packing it in the scuttle, took turns in carrying it back to the train again. We had nearly arrived at the spot where the train was waiting for us, when his Majesty noticed some curious flowers growing in a little copse beside the line, and we put down our coal- scuttle and went to gather them. While we were doing so, however, we heard a wild shout, and looking up beheld an enormously tall and thin man running towards us, gesticulatin g violently. 142 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. He was waving some wire and leather dog muzzles in one hand. \ ' s fie‘-2.3‘ ' \/HERE s You». MUZZLE ' \+_;_;.~ 2 Ml! qlgua G Z? ' | M'- ¢' \ 2);} 1¢€ s THE TALL THIN MAN WAS WAVING SOME MUZZLES. CC Where’s his muzzle ? ” he deman ded, pointing to Kis-Smee. “ Can’t you see the dog is mad and must be muzzled immediately? ” THE WHY AND WER—HAR—WEI RAILWAY. 14,3 “I’m sure he’s not,” cried the Wallypug, in- dignantly, and patting Kis-Smee’s head. “ He is,” declared the man. “All dogs are mad, and I insist upon them being muzzled.” “Very well,” I interposed. “You had better try and put a muzzle on this one yourself.” “ Oh ! I’ll soon do that,” cried the man, select- ing a large muzzle from the collection which he carried with him. “ Come here, sir ! Good dog, then.” . Kis-Smee growled, and grinning more than ever made a dart at the man, who dropped his muzzles and fled, screaming, “Mad dog! Mad dog ! ” at the top of his voice. His Majesty and myself, laughing heartily at his discomfiture, hurried back to the train with- out meeting with any further adventures. A. Fish, Esq., and Mike seemed to be rather cool towards each other, I thought, and I heard afterwards that they had not got on at all well CHAPTER XII. BACK AGAIN AT WHY. Kls-SMEE was overjoyed to get out of the train, and eagerly strained at the chain which his Majesty had aflixed to his collar, in his endeavor to get through the barrier. The porter, however, who pretended not to know us, demanded our tickets. “It’s all riglit,” said his Majesty, smilingly. “ I’m the Wallypug, you know.” “Nonsense,” said the porter. “The Wally- pug was ugly enough, goodness knows, but he hadn’t a blue face like you; besides, Wallypug or no Wallypug, you don’t get through here with- out a ticket, I can tell you.” Here was a pretty pickle. We had not thought Io 145 146 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. in the least about tickets, and in fact had no idea that any would be required. “I certainly shan’t let you pass the barrier without,” said the porter, in answer to our ex- planations. “ But what are we to do ?” asked the Wally- pug. “ Can’t we pay at this end ? ” “ Certainly not. My instructions are to de- mand a ticket of every one passing this barrier, and unless you give me one you cannot go through.” “ But I tell you we haven’t any. Can’t you tell us what to do?” “ Go back for them, I should say,” said the porter, yawning unconcernedly. “ Now then, one thing or another. Are you going to give me the tickets or not ? ” “ How caii we give them to you if we haven’t any ?” demanded the Wallypug. The porter slammed the door to impatiently, and went a BACK AGAIN AT WHY. 147 \ little way up the platform, turning around to call out warningly, “ If we find any suspicious-look- ing characters hanging about the station prem- ises we shoot them.” THE PORTER DEMANDED OUR TICKETS. “ What nonsense!” cried the Wallypug, rat- tling and kicking the gate. “ We can’t stop here all day. Let’s call the station-master. Hi! hi! station-master! ” he shouted. 143 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. No one answered for a few minutes, but eventually a door some little distance up the platform opened, and the old station-master made his appearance, puffing and blowing, and followed by the . porter, carrying a huge blunder- buss. “ Now then, what’s all this noise about ?” he demanded. “ We want to get out, if you please,” said the Wallypug. “Where are your tickets,” demanded the sta- tion-master. i “ We are very sorry,” I began in explanation. “ Hold your tongue, and speak when you are spoken to,” interrupted the station-master. “ Where are your tickets?” “They haven’t any,” explained the porter officiously. “ They are trying to defraud the company.” “H’m, funny-looking lot of people, too,” re- BACK AGAIN AT WHY. 153 Oom-Hi turned it into a patent meat extract, and called it Vimbril, and it killed ever so many people.” “ Indeed l” exclaimed the Wallypug, anxiously. “ Any one I know ? ” “ Madame and a few other folk,” was the reply ; “ and the Doctor-in-Law is not expected to re.- cover.” “Good gracious! Why, we thought them at the other end of the world. However did they get back to Why again ?” “Oh, they sent us a cablegram when they got to China, and we let down an enormously long rope and pulled them up the shute again, you know. But it was a very long journey, and they had nothing to eat on the way. So as soon as we hauled them up we gave them eacha large dose of Vimbril. Madame expired at once,” he added, with a sob. The tears were streaming down the Turtle’s 154, ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. / nose as he sympathetically joined in the Pelican’s weeping. “ What about the Doctor-in-Law ? ” inquired his Majesty, solicitously. “ Oh, he has a very strong constitution, you k_now, and he may pull through. We’ve got him back at the palace in his old quarters.” “Poor fellow ! Poor fellow ! ” said the Wally- pug, sympathetically. “ Let’s go and see what we can do for him.” I thought this very kind of his Majesty, consid- ering all he had sufiered through the Doctor-in- Law’s ingratitude ; but the good-hearted little fellow was full of sympathy, and hurried towards the palace with all speed. . CHAPTER XIII. A NEW sTATE oF AFFAIRS. “OH my! Good gracious me!” exclaimed a voice as we approached the entrance to the palace and looking up we beheld the Cockatoo perched on a window-sill. “ Just look at these creatures. What a color. Why, why,” she exclaimed, peering at us closely, “ I’m bothered if it isn’t the Wallypug and the Hatless Man, and the great Mr. A. Fish, Esq. Where have you been? VVhat did you come back for? What do you want?” she screamed. “ It’s dud of your busidess,” replied A. Fish, Esq., shortly. “ Oh! isn’t it,” said the Cockatoo furiously. “ I’ll soon show you whether it’s none of my busi- 155 156 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. ness or not. To begin with, the Wallypug and the headless traitor ”— " Do you mean me ? ” I interrupted, “ because I am not headless yet, you know.” “wnrr A 001.03 I " mxouman -rm; cocxxroo. “Headless, or hatless, it’s all the same,” said the Cockatoo, “ you might as well run about with- out your head for all the good it is to you, ” she added insolently. “Well you two are escaped A 1. A N 2'1-Ni We found the Doctor-in-Law looking very weak and ill but ml} ’////l\‘ 7/ />'/'7 11/ 1/, 11/1 \ w 7 ?"$'\‘" b \l\~‘ he recognized us all and held out his hand to th W ll ’ e a ypug.—- Page 158. Wallypugland. _ ' l 1' _ __ ‘[60 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. and which I am happy to say has already an enormous circulation in Why. It is very cheap (four copies for a penny), and contains an enor- mous amount of totally unreliable information ; besides which there is a page devoted to domestic matters, highly interesting to ladies, and includes receipts for artistically furnishing your house with old tea chests and soap boxes, painted with enamel and draped with art muslin ; there are also several poems weekly on the subject of ‘Baby’s Little Socks,’ which are immensely popular with some people, here is one of them,” he cried, turning to the back page of his paper, a copy of which he had with him. “ Oh! the baby’s little socks, Darling baby’s little socks ; When the kettle’s softly steaming, When the firelight's glow is gleaming, ‘ And I’m sitting idly dreaming, Whisper gently, ‘baby's socks.’ “ Oh the darling little socks ; Baby’s babg/’s little socks ; A NEW sTATE or AFFAIRS. 161 Toys that baby fingers scatter, Little feet that pitter-patter, Tittle tongues—but there—no matter, Let’s get back to baby’s socks.” “ There,” he concluded triumphantly, “what do you think of that ?” “ Well, I don’t wish to be rude,” I remarked, “ but I certainly think it’s the greatest rubbish I’ve ever heard in all my life. “ Rubbish ! ” he exclaimed, “ Why all the ladies who read the Daily Whyer think it beautiful. I have to get the same gentleman to write verses like that nearly every day.” “ Do you mean to tell me,” I replied, “ that a man writes such twaddle as that.” “ Oh ! you’re jealous, that’s what’s the matter with you. A man write them ? of course he does.” “ And do you pay him for these precious con- tributions,” I exclaimed in surprise. “ I promise to pay him ever so much a year,” :1 162 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. said the Crow, “ but—er—ahem—I have a very bad memory. I have several contributors whom I pay on the same system, it’s a very cheap way,” he sniflfled. “ I’ve copied it from a contem- porary.” ' “Well, we’re very busy just dow,” said A. Fish, Esq., “ would you bind telling us your busidess ad goig, because_we wandt to ged to work agaid.” “ Oh ! to tell you the truth,” said the Crow, “ I wanted to know if the Wallypug would let me print an interview with him in to-morrow’s paper. You have just returned from Wer-har- wei, I believe, haven’t ycu ; I was sitting on the signal post at the station just now and saw you arrive. I think my readers would be very inter- ested in hearing your impressions of the coun- try.” I took his Majesty aside and pointed out to him that very possibly an interview with him appear- A NEW STATE OF AFEAIRS. 163 ing in the paper would have a good effect on his people, and he could use it as a means of adver- tising the reforms he intended making in the gov- ernment of the land ; and his Majesty agreeing with me on the point, he seated himself comfort- ably in his own particular chair, and the Crow, perching on the back of another, the interview began. “ Let’s see,” said the Crow, making a great spluttering with his pen, which was cross-nibbed and broken. “ When were you born ?” “ Well, really,” said his Majesty, “ I, er—was so young at the time that I scarcely remember.” “Oh, well, I’ll put it down as Y. D. 987 ; that will do as well as any other date.” “ Why Y. D. ?” I inquired, curiously. “ Year of disgrace,” was the prompt reply. “ Bless me ! this must be a Post Office pen,” he went on, as the pen scattered the ink about in all directions. “ They are always bad, you know.” 164 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. / Then, having asked the VVal1ypug no end of questions, not only about our journey, but on all sorts of private matters also, the wretched-look- ing bird gathered up his papers, which were cov- ? ”%>a \’ } “ THIS mwsr BE A rosr omucm PEN,” sun ram cnow. ered with unintelligible blots and scratches and scattered in all parts of the room, and, tucking them under his wing, departed, to have the mat- ter set up in print. CHAPTER XIV. “Goon FoR THE coMPLEx1oN.” THE Crow had scarcely left the room when there was another knock, and without waiting for a reply the Cockatoo burst into the room in a fine fluster. She was followed by the Kangaroo and Oom Hi. . “ Look at them ! Loolc at them!” she blurted out, “did you ever see such objects in all your life. What a color !” “Hm ! Eggshell blue,” said the Kangaroo, examining the Wallypug critically. “Very extraordinary tint. Never seen a face that shade before.” _ “ The other one is worse,” declared the Cock- atoo, pointing at me derisively. “ I alwiyég knew 1. 166 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. he was something disreputable. I believe,” she added, sinking her voice into a hoarse whisper, “I believe he has let himself out as an advertise- ment for Stephen’s Blue-black Ink, or Ricket’s Paris Blue. What depravity. Down with him ! Duck him in the pond ! Scrub him with sandpaper! Boil him!” and so she went on. “ What’s all this bother about?” I exclaimed. “ Don’t you see that his Majesty is engaged. If you don’t immediately go about your business I will have you put out of the room.” “ Oh l will you indeed,” exclaimed the Cockatoo excitedly, “ I should like to see you attempt it. It strikes me that you are the one that will be put out. We can stand a good deal down here, but a hatless object with a blue face. Ough !” “ Here, come and do your duty,” she shouted, going to the door, and the two Crocodiles entered and caught hold of me roughly by the collar. _ L él) ‘i____ _ i /____ _ / _y _ F ,2? /W /J Z? M///' I /// Lg CV /y / ;///// Z I _ 17/, 2 “ You’re putting “Ough! ough!" spluttered his Majesty. do-o-n't! Stop! I say, do leave it all in my eyes. Oh, ach! Wallypugland. ofi'. ”—Page 167. “GOOD FOR THE COMPLEXION.” 167 “Bring them out into the courtyard,” shouted the infuriated bird, and before I could protest I was bundled unceremoniously out of the house by the Crocodiles, the Kangaroo and Oom Hi follow- ing with the Wallypug. “Now then,” said the Cockatoo, stopping be- fore a large tub of water which stood on the ground, “ see what soap and water will do.” The Kangaroo rummaged about and discovered a small hard piece of yellow soap, and Oom Hi brought forth a good sized sponge, and together they gave the poor little Wallypug such a scrub- bing as I should think he had never had before in all his life. “ Ough ! ough ll” spluttered his Majesty. “ You’re putting it all in my eyes. Oh, ach ! do-o-on’t ! Stop ! I say, do leave off. Ough !” The poor little fellow was nearly choked. Oom Hi sponged the soap away and the Cocka- too stared critically at the poor Wallypug, who 170 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. spread out to dry, and with strict injunctions not to move till he was told. The last view that I had of his Majesty was of . J ".'~ . ' ‘a ' '34 I, Uzflfiflfir wn I’ _ >3 ‘N R33, HIS MAJESTY IN THE STOCKS. the poor little fellow, utterly worn out with his exertions, meekly sitting in the stocks and falling into an uneasy slumber, from which, however, he “ GOOD FOR THE COMPLEXION.” 171 was frequently awakened by the bees and flies, which, attracted by the sticky stuflf on his face and hands, flocked around him as though he were a pot of jam. “ We might keep this as a curiosity,” said the Cockatoo, turning her attention to me next. “ Put in a cage with a large label, ‘ Blue-faced and hatless man, Dangerous !’ he ought to be an attraction to our menagerie. I think that’s what we’ll do with him,” and despite my struggles and protests I was ignominiously marched off by the Crocodiles, who continued to make rude and per- sonal remarks about my appearance all the way to the dungeon, where it appeared I was to spend my time till a cage could be prepared for me. Of course I was terribly indignant at my treat- ment, but was absolutely powerless to prevent it And the only thing that I could do when the Crocodiles had left me alone, after a few parting 17 2 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. n jeers, was to consider the best way of effecting my escape. I was pondering seriously upon this question, ‘D the MADE RUDE AND PERSONAL REMARKS ABOUT MY APPEARANCE. when suddenly I remembered the Gombobble with which the little blue people had'presented me when I left VVer-har-wei. Taking it from my pocket I idly wondered if it were good to eat “GOOD FOR THE COMPLEXION.” 173 or not. It felt soft and looked something like a huge blue orange or a melon ; getting out my penknife I plunged it in and cut the fruit open. Inside was a white juicy pulp ‘which looked very tempting, so trusting to its being good to eat I took a bite. It was delicious ! I took another bite, and then, happening to look at my hands, I discovered to my great delight that they were regaining their proper color. “ Come, this is better,” I cried, tackling a third piece ; and then suddenly remembering the poor Wallypug, I carefully cut the Gombobble in half and put part of it asideifor his Majesty, and was just about to eat another little piece my- self, when, happening to look up, I caught sight of Mr. Nobody from Nowhere, squeezing through the bars of my dungeon window. He was as smiling and happy as ever, and 174 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. made me an elaborate bow with an elegant flourish, and then looked so very knowing that I felt sure that he had something important to communicate. 176 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. Mr. Nobody nodded again very energetically, and I could see that he knew all about it. More- over he wrote on his paper, “ Poor Wallypug ! ” and looked most sympathetic. “ Would you like to help him ? ” I inquired. The little man nodded again, and seemed quite delighted at the prospect. Handing him the half of the Crombobble which I had reserved for his Majesty, I said, “ Take this to the Wallypug immediately and, if he is quite alone, tell him to eat it all, and on no account to tell any one how he became possessed of it.” “Mr. Nobody nodded to show that he under- stood, and, taking the piece of Gombobble, he squeezed through the bars of my cell, and was soon running off in the direction of the stocks. I awaited his return with some anxiety, and was delighted to see when he did come back, that his face was beaming with delight. “WALLYPUG’S BLUSH LIMITED.” 177 “ His Majesty has regained his complexion, and ii \'l III I 1*! \ ./ l is very grateful to you,” he wrote hurriedly, clapping his hands and capering about. I2 178 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. “ Now go and tell Oom Hi and the Kangaroo, and if they come to the conclusion that his Majesty’s complexion has been restored through using the stuff they call ‘ Wallypug’s Blush,’ don’t say anything to the contrary ; it will put them into a good temper and perhaps make them kinder to his Majesty.” Mr. Nobody seemed quite to understand and hurried off again. He did not come back, but about half an hour afterwards there was a noise at the door of my cell, and after a great deal of fumbling at the lock, Oom Hi and the Kangaroo entered. ' Oom Hi carried a basin and the Kangaroo a bottle of Vimbril, or Wallypug’s Blush, as it was now called. They looked very amiable, and after some kind remarks about the weather Oom Hi cleared his throat and said in a sort of apologetic voice : , , l “WALLYPUG'S BLUSH LIMITED.” 179 “Er, we didn’t mean to be too severe, you know, and what We have done has been all for the best. You will be pleased to hear that my sass §\.. OOM HI CARRIED A BASIN, AND THE KANGAROO A BOTTLE OF VIIIBR_L. invaluable preparation, ‘ Wallypug’s Blush,’ has proved perfectly satisfactory, and his Majesty the Wallypug is a living testimony to its worth. His beautiful complexion has entirely returned, and I 180 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. have no doubt if we could persuade you to use it too it would be equally successful in your case. You will try it, won’t you ?” he pleaded earnestly. “ Of course if my complexion, such as it is, is restored, I shall be released from here?” I haz- arded. “Oh! certainly,” said both animals at once, and so after surreptitiously devouring the re- mainder of the Gombobble, I permitted the creatures to smear my face over with their precious rubbish on the distinct understanding that I should be allowed to have a good wash afterwards. The Gombobble acted perfectly, and the animals were delighted when they saw the result, as they of course put it down to the effect of their “ Wal- lypug’s Blush.” “Go and fetch the Cockatoo,” said Oom Hi, “ she shall judge for herself.” —“WALLYPUG’S BLUSH LIMITED.” 185 I am about to become a director, and am to be paid several thousands more for persuading the Cockatoo to join the board too.” “But,” I objected, “ what do you claim that ‘ Wallypug’s Blush’ does ?” “ Oh, it restores people with blue complexions to their natural color, you know.” “ But surely there will be a very limited sale,” I said ; “ there cannot be very many people with blue faces, you know.” “ Oh, of course, you must try and spoil every- thing with your absurd objections,” said the Cockatoo crossly. “Yes, I really don’t see that your contention has much weight,” said the Doctor-in-Law. “Provided it is only advertised enough, the public willnbuy any rubbish, whether it does what it professes to do or not. And we shall simply call it ‘Wallypug’s Blush for the complexion,’ you know ; besides, even if it doesn’t answer, we 186 ADVENTURES m WALLYPUGLAND. can turn it into something else, Boot Polish or Hair Wash, you know.” And so seeing them so busily and enthusias- tically engaged in the business of drawing up the prospectus, we said good-night and retired to our POOIDS. CHAPTER XVI. “ AU REvoIR.” THE next morning all was excitement at the palace. The news of our return had spread abroad, and in the morning copy of the Daily Whyer, which his Majesty found on the breakfast-table when we went down, a full and, I must say, sur- prisingly accurate account of the interview ap- peared, together with the information that his Majesty would attend Parliament in state in the afternoon, and that an address from the throne would be read, in which certain changes in the Government would be suggested. There was also a paragraph about A. Fish, Esquire’s, lecture upon the “Unreasonableness of Misunderstand- 187 188 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. ability,” which the editor advised everybody to try and hear. His Majesty was in quite a fluster, and we spent several hours in preparing an elaborate written speech which he was to read out in the afternoon ; and then, having settled this and other matters to our satisfaction, we took Kis-Smee out for a little walk just before luncheon. One of the first persons we met was the Croco- dile at the Lodge. \He looked once or twice at his Majesty, as if in doubt, and then at Kis-Smee. On seeing the latter his eyes sparkled, and he came up and spoke at once. “ Hullo, Wallypug !” he began unceremoni- ously. i His Majesty bowed, alittle distantly I thought. “ What a fine fat dog ! ” exclaimed the Croc- odile, pointing to Kis-Smee. “Is he for sale ? ” “ Certainly not,” said the Wallypug. The Crocodile sighed. “ Just my luck,” he “AU REVOIR." 139 remarked, “I love dogs and I should so enjoy taking this one home to tea with me. Perhaps you will let him visit me sometimes. What’s his name ?” “on! REALLY, WALLYPUG, THIS is so sunnmn.” “ Kis-Smee,” said his Majesty. “ Oh ! really Wallypug, this is so sudden,” said the Crocodile, smirking, “ I’d no idea you were so affectionate. I’m so bashful, too. I couldn’t really think of kissing you in public.” 190 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. “ N o, no ! ” explained his Majesty hastily—~ “ Kis-Smee is the dog’s name ; you asked me what his name was, you know.” “ Oh !” said the Crocodile, looking greatly dis- appointed. “ I misunderstood you. Very sorry, I’m sure. Well, what are you going to do now? ” His Majesty told him of the meeting in the afternoon, and the Crocodile promised to come. “ That is,” he added, “if I may bring my in- valid with me.” _ “ Who is that ?” asked the Wallypug. “ Oh! a very feeble old joke I’ve got staying with me,” said the Crocodile. “ I could bring him in the perambulator, you know—the one I used to wheel the weak cup of tea about in—he’s such a nice old man.” “ What is he, did you say ?” asked his Majesty. “ An old joke,” repeated the Crocodile, “ his name is Joe Miller, and he eats nothing but chest- nuts, and even they have to be very ancient be- “AU REVOIR." 191 , I fore he can digest them. Oh ! he’s a character, ‘I can tell you. Make you die of laughing the first time you meet him; but as he always says the same thing over and over again—for hours and hours, he is rather trying at times. However, I will bring him along, and you can judge for your- self.” We left the Crocodile then and went back to luncheon—_after which we set out for the House of Words. We found that quite a lot of Creatures were waiting in the lobby for the doors to open. There was the Doctor-in-Law, telling a funny story to the Pig, for which he afterwards made a charge of one pound nineteen and elevenpence, describing it as Professional Attendance—and wording the bill as follows : To One pig, one guinea (guinea-pig), . £1 1 0 “ Laugh and grow fat,” one joke, O 6 8 £1 19 11 192 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. And to the Mole, who happened to overhear the joke, he made another charge ; but the Mole got out of paying for it on the plea that he couldn’t see it; but whether he meant the bill or the joke I could never find out, Moles are notoriously blind. Oom-Hi was there and the Turtle too, and A. Fish, Esq. , listened, open-mouthed, while they dis- cussed the state of afiairs. The Cockatoo, irrepressible as ever, held forth on the subject of Socialism to an interested audi- ence, consisting of the Crocodile and the Rabbit. While the Crow filled in a few spare moments by interviewing the Pelican. The Creatures stood aside very politely to allow his Majesty and my- self to enter, Kis-Smee growling ominously at the Cockatoo, who screamed, “ Down with domestic animals,” as he passed. This remark of hers gave offense to the Pig also, who demanded to know if she was referring to him. \\ Oom-Hi was there and the Turtle too, and A. Fish, Esq., listened, open-mouthed, while they discussed the state of af- fairs.—Page 192. Wa"1lP"9l<1"d- “AU REVOIR.” 193 “ Of course not,” replied the Cockatoo ; “ you’re not a domestic animal, are you ?” “ Sure an I am that same in me own counthry,” said the Pig, who was evidently of Irish descent. “ Och down with the dirthy landlords thin,” screamed the Cockatoo, which caused the Pig to laugh and put him in a good temper again. “ I couldn’t bring the old joke along after all,” whispered the Crocodile to me, as we squeezed through the door ; “ he is more feeble than ever.” “ How’s Kis-Smee ? ” “ Quite well, I think, thank you,” I replied. “ Isn’t he delightfully fat,” whispered the Croc- odile, smacking his lips. “ About three nice large mouthfuls, I should say,” he concluded mysteriously, winking one eye at me. I haven’t the remotest idea what he meant, and besides I hadn’t time to think about it then, for the meeting was about to commence. - We all found seats, and A. Fish, Esq., being Is 194 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. called upon to open the proceedings, he commenced his learned treatise upon the “ Unreasonableness of Misunderstandability.” What it was all about I haven’t the remotest idea, for what with his extraordinary way of talk- ing, and the continual interruptions of the ani- mals, who would keep shouting, “ Hear ! hear !” “ Question !” “ Withdraw l” “ Order ! order! ” etc., at all kinds of odd moments, I could not hear a word that was being said. Moreover, the hall was unaccountably hot and stufly, and for some time I had the greatest difficulty in keeping awake; and at last my head sank down and I dozed off, awaking at intervals when the Cocka- too was unusually energetic ; but at last even her voice was silenced, and I remember no more till I awoke with a start, and found myself, to my great dismay, back again in my own study in London. . I have addressed several letters to “ His Maj- “ AU REVOIR.” 195 esty the Wallypug, The Royal Palace, Why,” as I am very anxious to know how affairs are going on there ; but I am sorry to say they have always been returned through the post, marked in blue pencil, “Not known. Insufiicient address.” THE BLUE DWARFS : AN ADVENTURE IN THURINGEN. “ And then on the top of the Caldon Low There was no one left but me.” l MARY HOWITT. “ I LIKED the blue dwarfs the best—far, far the best of anything,” said Olive. “ ‘ The blue dwarfs! ”’ repeated Rex. “What do you mean ? Why can’t you say what you mean plainly ? Girls have such a stupid way of talking ! ” “ What can be plainer than the blue dwarfs .9 ” said Olive rather snappishly, though, it must be allowed, with some reason. “We were talking about the things we liked best at the china place. 197 THE BLUE DWARFS. 201 about. Do you know, I think it’s a little, just a very little frightening? Don’t you, Olive ?” “ No, of course I don’t,” said Olive, and, to do her justice, her rather sharp answer was meant as much to reassure her little brother as to ex- press any feeling of impatience. Rex was quite a little fellow, only eight, and Olive, who was nearly twelve, remembered that when she was as little as that, she used sometimes to feel fright- ened about things which she now couldn’t see anything the least frightening in. And she re- membered how once or twice some of her big cousins had laughed at her, and amused them- selves by telling her all sorts of nonsense, which still seemed terrible to her when she was alone in her room in the dark at night. “Of course there’s nothing frightening in it,” she said. “ It would be rather a funny idea, I think. Of course it can’t be, you know, Rex. There are no dwarfs, and gnomes, and fairies now.” 204 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. ular summer tourists from other countries, who prefer going where they are more sure of finding the comforts and luxuries they are ac- customed to at home. But it was by no means out-of-the-way in the sense of being dull or deserted. It is a very busy part of the world indeed. You would be amazed if I were to tell you some of the beautiful things that are made in these bare homely little German cottages. For all about in the neighborhood there are great manufactories and warehouses for china and glass, and many other things; and some parts of the work are done by the people at home in their own houses. The morning of the day of which I am telling you had been spent by the children and their friends in visiting a very large china manufactory, and their heads were full of the pretty and wonderful things they had seen. And now they were waiting in the best parlor of the village inn while their uncle arranged THE BLUE D\VARFS. 205 about a carriage to take them all on to the small town where they were to stay a few days. Their aunt was tired, and was resting a little on the sofa, and they had planted themselves on the broad window-sill, and were looking out with amusement at all that passed. “What have you been chattering about all this time?” said their aunt, suddenly looking up. “ I think I must have been asleep a little, but I have heard your voices going on like two birds twittering.” “Have we disturbed you, Auntie?” asked Olive, with concern. ' “Oh no, not a bit; but come here and tell me what you have been talking about.” Instantly Rex’s mind went back to the dwarfs. “ Auntie,” he said seriously, “ perhaps you can tell me better than Olive can. Are there really countries of dwarfs, and are they a kind of fairies, Auntie ? ” 208 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. sort of a carriage they were to go on in-—u/as it an ox-cart ; oh, mightn’t they for once go in an ox-cart? and might he—oh, might he sit beside the driver in front ? His uncle laughed and replied to his questions, but Olive stayed beside the sofa, staring gravely at her aunt. ’ “Auntie,” she said, “you’re not in earnest, are you, about there being really a country of dwarfs?” Olive was twelve. Perhaps you will think her very silly to have imagined for a moment that her aunt’s joke could be anything but a joke, espe- cially as she had been so sensible about not let- ting Rex get anything into his head which could frighten him. But I am not sure that she was so very silly after all. She had read in her geog- raphy about the Lapps and Finns, the tiny little men of the north, whom one might very well describe as dwarfs; there might be dwarfs in THE BLUE DWARFS. Q1 3 please, Uncle, is?!” when her aunt looked up and said lazily—- “ Oh, my dear child, do be quiet ! Can‘t you go to sleep yourself a little ! We shall have more than enough of the forest before we are out of it ?” Which ofiended Olive so much that she relapsed into silence. Auntie was a truer prophet than she knew; for when they got to the little hamlet in the wood, where they were to rest, something proved to be wrong with one of the horse’s shoes; so wrong, indeed, that after a prolonged examination, at which all the inhabitants turned out to assist, it was decided that the horse must be re-shod before he could go any farther ; and this made it impos- sible for the party who had come in the carriage to go any farther either. For the nearest smithy was two miles off ; the horse must be led there and back by the driver, which would take at least two, if not three, hours. It was now past THE BLUE DWARFS. 217 So the three set off, leaving Olive to her own devices. She waited till they were out of sight, then she made her preparations. “ I’d better take my purse,” she said to her- self, “in case I meet the dwarfs. Auntie told me to be very polite, and perhaps they would like some of these tiny pieces ; they just look as if they were meant for them.” So she chose out a few one-pfennig copper coins, which are much smaller than our farthings, and one or two silver pieces, worth about twopence-halfpenny each, still smaller. Then she put in her pocket half a slice of the brown bread they had had with their cofiee, and arming herself, more for appearance’- sake than anything else, with her parasol and the book she had with her in her traveling bag, she set off on her solitary ramble. It was still hot—though the forest trees made a pleasant shade. Olive walked some way, farther and farther, as far as she could make out, into the 218 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. heart of the forest, but in her inexperience she took no sort of care to notice the way she went, or to make for herself any kind of landmarks. She just wandered on and on, tempted first by some mysterious little path, and then by another, her mind full of the idea of the discoveries she was perhaps about to make. Now and then a squirrel darted across from one tree to another, disappear- ing among the branches almost before Olive could be sure she had seen it, or some wild wood birds, less familiar to the little foreigner, would startle her with a shrill, strange note. There were here and there lovely flowers growing among the moss, and more than once she heard the sound of not far off trickling water. It was all strangely beautiful, and she would greatly have enjoyed and admired it had not her mind been so full of the queer fascinating idea of the blue dwarfs. At last—she had wandered about for some time—-Olive began to feel tired. THE BLUE DWARFS. 219 “l may as well sit down a little,” she thought ; “ I have lots of time to get back. This seems the very heart of the forest. They are just as likely to be seen here as anywhere else.” So Olive ensconced herself in a comfortable corner, her back against the root of a tree, which seemed hollowed out on purpose to serve as an armchair. She thought at first she would read a little, but the light was already slightly wan- ing, and the tree shadows made it still fainter. Besides, Olive had plenty to think of—she did not require any amusement. Queer little noises now and then made themselves heard—once or twice it really sounded as if small feet were pat- tering along, or as if shrill little voices were laugh- ing in the distance ; and with each sound, Olive’s heart beat faster with excitement—not with fear. “ If I sit very still,” she thought, “ who knows what I may see? Of course, it would be much 220 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. nicer and prettier if the dwarfs were quite tiny— not like the little man we saw in the street at that place—I forget the name—for he was not pretty at all-—but like the blue dwarfs at the manufac- tory. But that, I suppose, is impossible, for they wouldbe really like fairies. But they might be something between : not so big as the little man, and yet bigger than the blue dwarfs.” And then Olive grew a little confused in trying to settle in her mind how big, or how small rather, it was possible or impossible for a nation of dwarfs to be. She thought it over till she hardly seemed sure what she was trying to decide. She kept saying to herself, “Any way, they could not but be a good deal bigger than my thumb! What does that mean? Perhaps it means more in Ger- man measures than in English, perhaps?" But what was that that suddenly hit her on the nose! Olive looked up, a very little inclined to be ofiended; it is not a pleasant thing to be hit THE BLUE DWARFS. 29,3 Olive sat still and looked at them. Somehow she did not feel surprised. “How big are they ?” she said to herself. “ Bigger than my thumb ? Oh yes, a good deal. I should think they are about "as tall as my arm would be if it was standing on the ground. I should think they would come up above my knee. I should like to stand up and measure, but per- haps it is better for me not to speak to them till they speak to me.” She had not long to wait. In another moment two little blue figures separated themselves from the crowd, and made their way up to her. But when they were close to her feet they igave a sud- den jump in the air, and came down, not on their feet, but on their heads ! And then again some of her aunt’s words came back to her, “If they should ask you to stand on your head, for in- stance.” “ Dear me,” thought Olive, “ how did Auntie 224 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. _ know so much about them? But I do hope they won’t ask me to stand on my head.” Her fears were somewhat relieved when the dwarfs gave another spring and came down this time in a respectable manner on their feet. Then, with a good many bows and flourishes, they began a speech. i “We are afraid,” said the first. “ That the fir-cones,” said the second. “ Were rather underdone,” finished up the first. Olive really did not know what to say. She was dreadfully afraid that it would seem so very rude of her not even to have tasted the cones. But naturally she had not had the slightest idea that they had been intended for her to eat. “I am very sorry,” she said, “Mni, sir ! my lord! I beg your pardon. I don’t quite know what I should call you.” THE BLUE DWARFS. 227 to come very much if it isn’t too far ; but I am afraid I couldn’t eat any supper. Indeed, I’m not hungry.” And then a bright thought struck her. “ See here,” she went on, drawing the half slice of bread out of her pocket, “I had to put this in my pocket, for I couldn’t finish it at our afternoon coffee.” The two dwarfs came close and examined the piece of bread with the greatest attention. They pinched and smelt it, and one of them put out his queer little pointed tongue and licked it. “ Not good ! ” he said, looking up at Olive and rolling about his eyes in a very queer way. “I don’t know,” said Olive; “I don’t think it can be bad. ‘It is the regular bread of the country. I should have thought you would be accustomed to it, as you live here.” The two dwarfs took no notice of what she said, but suddenly turned round, and standing with their backs to Olive called out shrilly, THE BLUE DWARFS. 229 seemed to put itself on, and Olive felt very happy and triumphant as she said to herself, “Now I’m really going to have some adventures.” The dwarfs marched—no! one cannot call it marching, for they had about a dozen different ways of proceeding~they moved on, and Olive in the middle, her blue cloak floating majesti- cally on her shoulders. No one spoke a word. It grew darker and darker among the trees, but Olive did not feel frightened. On they went, till at last she saw twinkling before them a very small but bright blue light. It looked scarcely larger than the lamp of a glow-worm, but it shone out very distinct in the darkness. Immedi- ately they saw it the dwarfs set up a shout, and as it died away, to Olive’s surprise, they began to sing. And what do you think they sang? Olive at first could hardly believe her ears as they listened to the thoroughly English song of “ Home, sweet Home.” And the queerest thing 230 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. was that they sang it very prettily, and that it sounded exactly like her aunt’s voice ! And though they were walking close beside her, their voices when they left ofii' singing did not so much seem to stop as to move off, to die away into the distance, which struck Olive as very odd. They had now arrived at the trunk of a large tree, half way up which hung the little lamp—at least Olive supposed it must be a lamp—from which came the bright blue light. “ Here we are,” said one of the dwarfs, she did not see which, “ at the entrance to our village.” And thereupon all the dwarfs began climbing up the tree, swarming about it like a hive of bees, till they got some way up, when one after an- other they suddenly disappeared. Olive could see all they did by the blue light. She was be- ginning to wonder if she would be left standing there alone, when a shout made her look up, and she saw two dwarfs standing 0ii a branch hold- THE BLUE DWARFS. 233 that she was to walk up the village street to see all there was to be seen. So on she marched, her blue cloak floating about her, so that sometimes it reached the roofs of the houses on each side at the same time. Olive felt herself rather clumsy. Her feet, which in general she was accustomed to consider rather neat, and by no means too large for her age, seemed such great awkward things. If she had put one of them in at the window of a dwarf house, it would have knocked everything out of its place. _ , “ Dear me ! ” thought Olive, “ I had no idea I could seem clumsy l I feel like a great plowman. I wish I were not so big.” “ Yes,” said a voice beside her, “ it has its dis- advantages ;” and Olive, looking down to see who spoke—she had to look down for everything ~—caught sight of one of the two dwarfs with whom she had first spoken. She felt a little THE BLUE DWARFS. 237 “I did not know I was so hungry,” thought Olive ; “ but I do hope it isn’t fir-cones.” “Yes,” said the dwarf ; “ they’ll be better done this time.” Then he gave a sort of sharp, sudden cry or whistle, and immediately all the dwarfs of the village appeared as if by magic, and began hurrying into the house, but as soon as they were in the middle of the passage they fell back at each side, leaving a clear space in the middle. “For you,” said the first dwarf, bowing po- litely. “Do you always have supper here altogether like that ? ” said Olive. “ How funny l ” “Not at all,” said the dwarf; “it’s a table d’hote. Be so good as to take your place.” Olive bent her head cautiously in preparation for passing through the door, when again the same. sharp cry startled her, and lifting her head THE BLUE DWARFS. 241 could feel sure of, and after two or three more vain efforts Olive fairly gave up, and, sinking down on the ground, again burst into tears. “ If I but had a mariner’s compass,” she thought, her fancy wandering ofi to all the stories of lost people she had ever heard of. Then she further reflected that a compass would do her very little good if it was too dark to see it, and still more as she had not the slightest idea whether her road lay north, south, east, or west. “If the stars were out !” was her next idea ; but then, I am ashamed to say, Olive’s ideas of astronomy were limited. She courd have perhaps recognized the Plow and the Pole star, but she could not remember which way they pointed. Besides, she did not feel quite sure that in Thii- ringen one would see the same stars as in England or Paris; and, after all, as there were none vis- ible, it was no good puzzling about it, only if they 6h-ad been there it would not have seemed so I THE BLUE DWARFS. 245 words “verirrt,” “ armes Kind,” which she knew meant “ lost ” and “ poor child.” Then he went on to tell that he too was on his way from the same village to somewhere ; that he came by the Woods, because it was shorter, and lifting high his lan- tern, gave Olive to understand that he could now show her the way. So off she set under his guidance, and, only fancy ! a walk of not more than ten minutes brought them to the little inn ! Olive’s wander- ings and straying had, after all, drawn her very near her friends if she had known it. Poor Auntie and Rex were running about in front of the house in great distress. Uncle and the land- lord and the coachman had set off with lanterns, and the landlady was trying to persuade Auntie that there was not really anything to be afraid of ; neither bears, nor wolves, nor evilly-disposed people about: the little young lady had, doubt- less, fallen asleep in the wood with the heat and Q46 ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. fatigue of the day ; which, as you know, was a very good guess, though the landlady little im- agined what queer places and people Olive had been visiting in her sleep. -i The dwarf was a well-known person there- abouts, and a very harmless, kindly little man. A present of a couple of marks sent him off to his cottage near by very happy indeed, and when Uncle returned a few minutes later to see if the wanderer had been heard of, you can imagine how thankful he was to find her. It was not so very late after all, not above half-past ten o’clock, but a thunderstorm which came on not long after explained the unusual darkness of the cloud- covered sky. “ What a good thing you were safe before the storm came on ! ” said Auntie, with a shudder at the thought of the dangers her darling had es- caped. “ I will take care never again to carry my jokes too far,” she resolved, when Olive had A. L. BURT"s BOoKs rob Yotmo i=-sorts. 3 BOOKS FOR GIRLS. Sue and I. By Mas. O’RE1LLY. 12mo, cloth, illus- trated. price 75 cents. “A thoroughly delightful book. lull of sound wisdom s_ well as tun."— Athonizum. The Princess and the Goblin. A Fairy Story. By Gsoiws MACDUNALD. 12mo. cloth, iilusu-and, price I5 cents. "if n child once begins this book, it will get so deeply interested in lf. that when bedtime comes it will altogether forget the moral, and will weary its purvnts with iniportunitics for just a few minutes more to 866 how everything euds."—§aturday Review. 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