350 WYLDER'S HAJVD.
Heaven knows, when I consented to that journey. I did
not comprehend its full purpose, though I knew enough
to have warned me of my danger, and undertook it in
great fear and anguish of mind. Oh! Stanley, you do
not know what it is to feel, as I do, the shame and treach-
ery of my situation; to try to answer the smiles of those
who, at least, once loved me, and to take their hands; to
kiss Dorcas and good Dolly; and feel that all the time I
am a vile imposter, from whom, if they knew me, they
would turn in horror and disgust. Now, Stanley, I can
bear any thing but this baseness — any thing but the life
long practice of perfidy — that, I will not and cannot en-
dure. Dorcas must know the whole truth. That there
is a secret jealously guarded from her she does know —
no woman could fail to perceive that; and there are
few, Stanley, who would not prefer the certainty of
the worst, to the anguish of such relations of mystery and
reserve with a husband. She is clever, she is generous,
and has many noble qualities. She will see what is right,
and do it. Me she may hate, and must despise; but that
were to me more endurable than friendship gained on
false pretences. I repeat, therefore, Stanley, that Dorcas
must know the whole truth. Do not suppose, my poor
brother, that I write from impulse — I have deeply
thought on the subject."
"Deeply," repeated Stanley, with a sneer.
"And the more I reflect, the more am I convinced —
if you will not tell her, Stanley, that/must. But it will
be wiser, and better, terrible as it may be, that the reve-
lation should come from you, whom she has made her hus-
band. Be courageous then, Stanley; you will be happier
when you have disclosed the truth, and released at all
events, one of your victims.
"Your sorrowful and only sister,
"Rachel."