32044010 288 470


WID-LC
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y4
1901

STAS
HARVARD
COLLEGE
LIBRARY








HE YELLOW WALL PAPER
20





THE
YELLOW WALL PAPER
BY
CHARLOTTE PERKINS STETSON

2486
BOSTON
SMALL, MAYNARD & COMPANY
MÇMI


3-810
810
L
-
Copyright, 1892
By New England Magazine
Corporation
Copyright, 1899
By Small, Maynard & Company
HARVARD
UNIVERSITY
LIBRARY
Rockwell & Churchill Press
Boston, U.S.A.
AL


This story is reprinted from The
New England Magazine of January,
1892, by permission of the publisher,
to whom the thanks of the Author are
due. The cover design is by Mr.
E. B. Bird.
2486


WiD-Le
PS.
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...
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HARVARD
UNIVERSITY
LIBRARY
*..:******


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
scoffs openly at any talk of things not
to be felt and seen and put down in
figures.
John is a physician, and perhaps —.."
(I would not say it to a living soul, of
course, but this is dead paper and a
great relief to my mind). — perhaps
that is one reason I do not get well
faster.
You see, he does not believe I am
sick!
And what can one do?
"If a physician of high standing, and
one's own husband, assures friends and
relatives that there is really nothing
the matter with one but temporary
nervous depression, - a slight hysteri- ,
- cal tendency, — what is one to do?
My brother is also a physician, and


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
also of high standing, and he says the
same thing.
So I take phosphates or phosphites,
– whichever it is, — and tonics, and
journeys, and air, and exercise, and
am absolutely forbidden to "work"
until I am well again. I
Personally I disagree with their
ideas.
Personally I believe that congerial
work, with excitement and change,
would do me good.
But what is one to do?
I did write for a while in spite of
them; but it does exhaust me a good
deal — having to be so sly about it,
or else meet with heavy opposition.
I sometimes fancy that in my con-
dition if I had less opposition and more
IN
RA
•
3


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
society and stimulus — but John says
, the very worst thing I can do is to
think about my condition, and I con-
fess it always makes me feel bad.
So I will let it alone and talk about
the house.
The most beautiful place! It is
quite alone, standing well back from
the road, quite three miles from the
village. It makes me think of English
places that you read about, for there
are hedges and walls and gates that
lock, and lots of separate little houses
for the gardeners and people.
There is a delicious garden! I
never saw such a garden - large and
shady, full of box-bordered paths, and
lined with long grape-covered arbors
with seats under them.


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
There were greenhouses, too, but
they are all broken now.
There was some legal trouble, I
believe, something about the heirs
and co-heirs; anyhow, the place has
been empty for years.
That spoils my ghostliness, I am
afraid; but I don't care — there is
something strange about the house -
I can feel it.
I even said so to John one moon-
light evening, but he said what I felt
was a draught, and shut the window.
I get unreasonably angry with John
sometimes. I'm sure I never used to
be so sensitive. I think it is due to
this nervous condition.
But John says if I feel so I shall
neglect proper self-control ; so I take
T
5


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
pains to control myself, — before him,
at least, - and that makes me very tired..
I don't like our room a bit. I
wanted one downstairs that opened
on the piazza and had roses all over
the window, and such pretty, old-fash-
ioned chintz hangings! but John would
not hear of it.
He said there was only one window
and not room for two beds, and no near
room for him if he took another.
He is very careful and loving, and
hardly lets me stir without special
direction..
I have a schedule prescription for
each hour in the day ; he takes all care
from me, and so I feel basely ungrate-
ful not to value it more.
He said we came here solely on my


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
account, that I was to have perfect rest
and all the air I could get." Your
exercise depends on your strength, my
dear," said he, "and your food some-,
what on your appetite ; but air you can
absorb all the time." So we took the
nursery, at the top of the house.
It is a big, airy room, the whole
floor nearly, with windows that look
all ways, and air and sunshine galore.
It was nursery first and then play-
ground and gymnasium, I should
judge ; for the windows are barred for
little children, and there are rings and
things in the walls.
The paint and paper look as if a
boys' school had used it. It is stripped
off the paper - in great patches all
around the head of my bed, about as far


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
No wonder the children hated it! I
should hate it myself if I had to
live in this room long.
There comes John, and I must put
this away, - he hates to have me
write a word. .


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
-
We have been here two weeks, and
I haven't felt like writing before, since
that first day.
I am sitting by the window now, up
in this atrocious nursery, and there is
nothing to hinder my writing as much
as I please, save lack of strength.
John is away all day, and even some
nights when his cases are serious.
I am glad my case is not serious!
But these nervous troubles are dread-
fully depressing.
John does not know how much I
really suffer. He knows there is no
reason to suffer, and that satisfies him.
Of course it is only nervousness. It .
does weigh on me so not to do my ...!
duty in any way!
I meant to be such a help to John,
10


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
.
such a real rest and comfort, and here
I am a comparative burden already!
Nobody would believe what an effort
it is to do what little I am able - to
dress and entertain, and order things.
It is fortunate Mary is so good
with the baby. Such a dear baby!
And yet I cannot be with him, it
makes me so nervous.
I suppose John never was nervous
in his life. He laughs at me so about
this wall paper!
At first he meant to repaper the
room, but afterwards he said that I
was letting it get the better of me,
and that nothing was worse for a
nervous patient than to give way to
such fancies.
. He said that after the wall paper
Il


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
was changed it would be the heavy
bedstead, and then the barred win-
dows, and then that gate at the head
of the stairs, and so on.
* You know the place is doing you
good,” he said, " and really, dear, I
don't care to renovate the house just ;
for a three months' rental.”
Then do let us go downstairs," I :''
said, " there are such pretty rooms
there.”
Then he took me in his arms and ;
called me a blessed little goose, and
said he would go down cellar if I
wished, and have it whitewashed into
the bargain.
But he is right enough about the .."
beds and windows and things.
It is as airy and comfortable a room
12


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
making a nervous weakness like mine
is sure to lead to all manner of excited
fancies, and that I ought to use my
will and good sense to check the ten-
dency. So I try.
I think sometimes that if I were
only well enough to write a little it
would relieve the press of ideas and
rest me.
But I find I get pretty tired when I
try.
It is so discouraging not to have any
advice and companionship about my
work. When I get really well John
says we will ask Cousin Henry and
Julia down for a long visit ; but he
says he would as soon put fire-works
in my pillow-case as to let me have
those stimulating people about now.
..
.
14


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
.
I wish I could get well faster.
But I must not think about that.
This paper looks to me as if it knew
what a vicious influence it hadi
There is a recurrent spot where the
pattern lolls like a broken neck and
two bulbous eyes stare at you upside-
down.
I got positively angry with the im-
· pertinence of it and the everlasting-
ness. Up and down and sideways they
crawl, and those absurd, unblinking
eyes are everywhere. There is one
place where two breadths didn't match,
and the eyes go all up and down the
line, one a little higher than the other.
! I never saw so much expression in
an inanimate thing before, and we all
know how much expression they have!
:
15
?


:
THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
I used to lie awake as a child and get
more entertainment and terror out of
blank walls and plain furniture than
most children could find in a toy-
store.
I remember what a kindly wink the
knobs of our big old bureau used to
have, and there was one chair that:
always seemed like a strong friend.
I used to feel that if any of the other
things looked too fierce I could always
hop into that chair and be safe..
The furniture in this room is no
worse than inharmonious, however, for
we had to bring it all from downstairs.
I suppose when this was used as a play-
room they had to take the nursery things
out, and no wonder ! I never saw such
ravages as the children have made here.
16


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
The wall paper, as I said before, is
torn off in spots, and it sticketh closer
than a brother, they must have had
perseverance as well as hatred.
Then the floor is scratched and
gouged and splintered, the plaster it-
self is dug out here and there, and this
great heavy bed, which is all we found
in the room, looks as if it had been
through the wars.
But I don't mind it a bit - only the
paper.
There comes John's sister. Such a
dear girl as she is, and so careful of
me! I must not let her find me
writing.
She is a perfect, an enthusiastic
housekeeper, and hopes for no bet-
ter profession. I verily believe she


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
thinks it is the writing which made me
sick!
But I can write when she is out,
and see her a long way off from these
windows.
There is one that commands the '.
road, a lovely, shaded, winding road,
and one that just looks off over the
country. A lovely country, too, full
of great elms and velvet meadows.
This wall paper has a kind of sub-. ...
pattern in a different shade, a particu-
larly irritating one, for you can only
see it in certain lights, and not clearly
then.
But in the places where it isn't
faded, and where the sun is just so,...
I can see a strange, provoking, form-
less sort of figure, that seems to sulk
18


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
Well, the Fourth of July is over!
The people are all gone and I am
tired out. John thought it might do
me. good to see a little company, so
: we just had mother and Nellie and
the children down for a week.
Of course I didn't do a thing.
Jennie sees to everything now.
But it tired me all the same.
• John says if I don't pick up faster
he shall send me to Weir Mitchell
in the fall.
But I don't want to go there at all.
I had a friend who was in his hands
once, and she says he is just like John
and my brother, only more sol
Besides, it is such an undertaking
to go so far."
. I don't feel as if it was worth':;
20


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
while to turn my hand over for any-
thing, and I'm getting dreadfully fretful
and querulous.
I cry at nothing, and cry most of
the time.
Of course I don't when John is
here, or anybody else, but when I
am alone.
And I am alone a good deal just now.
John is kept in town very often by
serious cases, and Jennie is good and
lets me alone when I want her to.
So I walk a little in the garden or
down that lovely lane, sit on the
porch under the roses, and lie down
up here a good deal.
"I'm getting really fond of the room
in spite of the wall paper. Perhaps
because of the wall paper.
21


· THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
I DON'T know why. I should write
this.
I don't want to.
I don't feel able.
And I know John would think it
absurd. But I must say what I feel
and think in some way it is such a
relief!
But the effort is getting to be greater
than the relief.
Half the time now I am awfully lazy,
and lie down ever so much.
John says I mustn't lose my strength,
and has me take cod-liver oil and lots
. of tonics and things, to say nothing of
ale and wine and rare meat.
Dear John! He loves me very
dearly, and hates to have me sick. I
tried to have a real earnest reasonable
25. .


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
talk with him the other day, and tell
him how I wished he would let me go
and make a visit to Cousin Henry and
Julia.
But he said I wasn't able to go, nor
able to stand it after I got there ; and I
did not make out a very good case for
myself, for I was crying before I had
finished.
It is getting to be a great effort for
me to think straight. Just this nervous
weakness, I suppose.
And dear John gathered me up in
his arms, and just carried me upstairs
and laid me on the bed, and sat by
· me and read to me till he tired my
head. .
He said I was his. darling and his
::comfort and all he had, and that I must
. .
26


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
Of course I never mention it to them
any more, - I am too wise, - but I
keep watch of it all the same.
There are things in that paper that
nobody knows but me, or ever will.
Behind that outside pattern the dim
shapes get clearer every day.
It is always the same shape, only
very numerous.
And it is like a woman stooping
down and creeping about behind that
pattern. I don't like it a bit. I won-
der - I begin to think — I wish John
would take me away from here!


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
It is so hard to talk with John about
my case, because he is so wise, and be-
cause he loves me so.
But I tried it last night.
It was moonlight. The moon shines
in all around, just as the sun does.
I hate to see it sometimes, it creeps
so slowly, and always comes in by one
window or another.
John was asleep and I hated to
waken him, so I kept still and watched
the moonlight on that undulating wall
paper till I felt creepy.
The faint figure behind seemed to
shake the pattern, just as if she wanted
to get out.
I got up softly and went to feel
and see if the paper did move, and
when I came back John was awake.-
29


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
in
* What is it, little girl?” he said.
"Don't go walking about like that ,
you'll get cold.”
I thought it was a good time to
talk, so I told him that I really was
not gaining here, and that I wished
he would take me away.
"Why, darling!” said he, "our lease
will be up in three weeks, and I can't
see how to leave before. .
" The repairs are not done at home,
and I cannot possibly leave town just
now. Of course if you were in any
danger I could and would, but you
really are better, dear, whether you
can see it or not. I am a doctor,
,*
Alesh and color, your appetite is better.
I feel really much easier about you."
. 30


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
"I don't weigh a bit more,” said I,
"nor as much ; and my appetite may
be better in the evening, when you
are here, but it is worse in the morn-
ing, when you are away."
"Bless her little heart !” said he
with a big hug; "she shall be as sick as
she pleases. But now let's improve
the shining hours by going to sleep,
and talk about it in the morning.”
" And you won't go away?" I asked
gloomily.
" Why, how can I, dear? It is only
three weeks more and then we will
take a nice little trip of a few days
while Jennie is getting the house
ready. Really, dear, you are better!”
" Better in body, perhaps ” — I be-
gan, and stopped short, for he sat up
31


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
· straight and looked at me with such
a stern, reproachful look that I could
not say another word.
My darling," said he, "I beg of
you, for my sake and for our child's
sake, as well as for your own, that
you will never for one instant let that
idea enter your mind! There is noth-
ing so dangerous, so fascinating, to a
temperament like yours. It is a false
and foolish fancy. Can you not trust
i me as a physician when I tell you so ??.
. So of course I said no more on that
.. score, and we went to sleep before
long. He thought I was asleep first,
but I wasn't, - I lay there for hours
trying to decide whether that front
pattern and the back pattern really
did move together or separately.
32


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
That is, sometimes!
There is one marked peculiarity
about this paper, a thing nobody seems
to notice but myself, and that is that,
it changes as the light changes.
. When the sun shoots in through the
east window - I always watch for that
first long, straight ray - it changes so
quickly that I never can quite believe it.
That is why I watch it always.
By moonlight — the moon shines in
is all night when there is a moon - I
wouldn't know it was the same paper.
At night in any kind of light, in
twilight, candlelight, lamplight, and
worst of all by moonlight, it becomes
bars! The outside pattern, I mean, [
and the woman behind it is as plain)
as can be.
34


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
I didn't realize for a long time what
the thing was that showed behind, -
that dim sub-pattern, — but now I am
quite sure it is a woman.
By daylight she is subdued, quiet. I
fancy it is the pattern that keeps her.so
still. It is so puzzling. It keeps me
quiet by the hour.
I lie down ever so much now. John
says it is good for me, and to sleep all
I can.
Indeed, he started the habit by making
me lie down for an hour after each meal.
It is a very bad habit, I am convinced,
for, you see, I don't sleep.
And that cultivates deceit, for I don't
tell them I'm awake, - oh, no!
The fact is, I am getting a little afraid
of John.
when
35


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
LIFE is very much more exciting now
than it used to be. You see I have
something more to expect, to look for-
ward to, to watch. I really do eat.
better, and am more quiet than I was.
John is so pleased to see me improve !..
He laughed a little the other day, and
said I seemed to be flourishing in spite
of my wall paper.
I turned it off with a laugh. I had
no intention of telling him it was be-
cause of the wall paper - he would
make fun of me. He might even want
to take me away.
I don't want to leave now until I
have found it out. There is a week
more, and I think that will be enough..
.
28


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
I'm feeling ever so much better! I
don't sleep much at night, for it is so
interesting to watch developments; but
I sleep a good deal in the daytime.
In the daytime it is tiresome and per-
plexing.
There are always new shoots on the
fungus, and new shades of yellow all
over it. I cannot keep count of them,
though I have tried conscientiously.
It is the strangest yellow, that wall
paper ! It makes me think of all the
yellow things I ever saw - not beauti-
ful ones like buttercups, but old foul,
bad yellow things.
But there is something else about
that paper--the smell! I noticed it
the moment we came into the room,
but with so much air and sun it was
. 39


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
wake up in the night and find it hang-
ing over me.
It used to disturb me at first. I
thought seriously of burning the house
- to reach the smell.
But now I am used to it. The only
thing I can think of that it is like is the
color of the paper - a yellow smell!
There is a very funny mark on this
wall, low down, near the mopboard. A
streak that runs around the room. It
goes behind every piece of furniture,
except the bed, a long, straight, even
smooch, as if it had been rubbed over
and over.
I wonder how it was done and who
did it, and what they did it for Round
and round and round - round and
round and round - it makes me dizzy!
41


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
so; I think that is why it has so many
heads.
They get through, and then the pat-
tern strangles them off and turns them
upside-down, and makes their eyes
white!
If those heads were covered or taken
off it would not be half so bad.
.
..
43


' THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
I THINK that woman gets out in the
daytime!
And I'll tell you why - privately-
I've seen her!
I can see her out of every one of my
· windows !
It is the same woman, I know, for she
is always creeping, and most women do
not creep by daylight.
I see her in that long shaded lane,
creeping up and down. I see her in
those dark grape arbors, creeping all
around the garden.
I see her on that long road under the
trees, creeping along, and when a car-
riage comes she hides under the black-
berry vines.
I don't blame her a bit. It must be
very humiliating to be caught creeping
by daylight I
44
.
'


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
I always lock the door when I creep
by daylight. I can't do it at night,
for I know John would suspect some-
thing at once.
And John is so queer, now, that I
don't want to irritate him. I wish he
would take another room! Besides, I
don't want anybody to get that woman
out at night but myself.
I often wonder if I could see her out
of all the windows at once.
But, turn as fast as I can, I can only
see out of one at one time.
And though I always see her she
may be able to creep faster than I
can turn!
I have watched her sometimes away
off in the open country, creeping as fast
as a cloud shadow in a high wind.
45


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
HURRAH ! This is the last day, but
it is enough. John is to stay in town
over night, and won't be out until this
evening.
Jennie wanted to sleep with me -
the sly thing I but I told her I should
undoubtedly rest better for a night all
alone.
That was clever, for really I wasn't
alone a bit ! As soon as it was moon-
light, and that poor thing began to crawl
and shake the pattern, I got up and ran >
to help her.
I pulled and she shook, I shook and
she pulled, and before morning we had
peeled off yards of that paper.
A strip about as high as my head
and half around the room.
And then when the sun came and
48


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
I believed I would lie down again and
sleep all I could ; and not to wake me
even for dinner - I would call when I
woke."
. So now she is gone, and the servants
'. are gone, and the things are gone, and
there is nothing left but that great bed-
stead nailed down, with the canvas
mattress we found on it.
We shall sleep downstairs to-night,
and take the boat home to-morrow.
I quite enjoy the room, now it is bare
again.
How those children did tear about
here !
This bedstead is fairly gnawed!
But I must get to work.
I have locked the door and thrown
the key down into the front path.
-
50


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
I don't want to go out, and I don't
want to have anybody come in, till John
comes.
I want to astonish him.
I've got a rope up here that even
Jennie did not find. If that woman
does get out, and tries to get away, I
can tie her!
But I forgot I could not reach far
without anything to stand on I
This bed will not move!
I tried to lift and push it until I was
lame, and then I got so angry I bit off a
little piece at one corner - but it hurt
my teeth.
Then I peeled off all the paper I
sticks horribly and the pattern just en-
joys it ! All those strangled heads
51


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
I suppose I shall have to get back
behind the pattern when it comes night,
and that is hard!
It is so pleasant to be out in this
great room and creep around as I -
please!
I don't want to go outside. I won't,
even if Jennie asks me to.
For outside you have to creep on the
ground, and everything is green instead
of yellow.
But here I can creep smoothly on the
floor, and my shoulder just fits in that
long smooch around the wall, so I can-
not lose my way.
Why, there's John at the door !
It is no use, young man, you can't
open it!
How he does call and pound!
53


THE YELLOW WALL PAPER
"For God's sake, what are you do-
ing?"
I kept on creeping just the same, but
I looked at him over my shoulder.
" I've got out at last,” said I, " in
spite of you and Janel And I've pulled
off most of the paper, so you can't put
me back I”
Now why should that man have
fainted? But he did, and right across
my path by the wall, so that I had to
creep over him every time!











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