characters and elegies. by francis vvortley, knight and baronet. wortley, francis, sir, - . this text is an enriched version of the tcp digital transcription a of text r in the english short title catalog (thomason e _ ). textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. the text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with morphadorner. the annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. this text has not been fully proofread approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. earlyprint project evanston,il, notre dame, in, st. louis, mo a wing w thomason e _ estc r this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (thomason tracts ; :e [ ]) characters and elegies. by francis vvortley, knight and baronet. wortley, francis, sir, - . [ ], p. s.n.], [london : printed in the yeere, m dc xlvi. [ ] place of publication from wing. the roman numeral imprint date is made with turned c's. partly in verse. annotation on thomason copy: "july ". reproduction of the original in the british library. eng characters and characteristics -- early works to . elegiac poetry, english -- th century. a r (thomason e _ ). civilwar no characters and elegies.: by francis vvortley, knight and baronet. wortley, francis, sir d the rate of defects per , words puts this text in the d category of texts with between and defects per , words. - tcp assigned for keying and markup - apex covantage keyed and coded from proquest page images - robyn anspach sampled and proofread - robyn anspach text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion characters and elegies . by francis vvortley , knight and baronet . printed in the yeere , m dc xlvi . to the lovers of honour & poesie . gentlemen , you whose constitutions are even and equall , not over-balanced with earthly and base metall , love honour and gallantry in any man , & virtus in hoste probatur . you who know god made all things by his owne rule of proportion , ( in weight , measure and number : ) you who are friends to that divine , noble , and royall art of poesy , for what is it but well weighed words , made even by that lesbian rule of proportion ? you can best judge of these phancies dedicated to you , as they are meant . the subject of my poetry is noble , and the noblest of gods creatures , man , brave men , loyal men , who have dyed like ionathan and his brothers , either with the king , or in his cause , ( most of them ) the other were worthy a better muse as well as they . this way of service to the memory of the dead wants not presidents worthy our imitations , kings and prophets , and the greatest law-giver , whom i will take for my first president of poetry , even moses , who from gods owne mouth gave the law to his owne people : he composed such a song , as the lambe and angels make use of it , ( apoc. . ) which was his song of deliverance he left composed , and so first sanctified poetry , as christ and his apostles in the new testament by the allegation of the psalmes and prophets , who were both poets and vates . also s. paul sanctified the heathen poets . david , vir secundùm cor dei , that pious prince , that martiall king , that glorious man of god , truly deserved that glorious epithet , princeps poetarum . solomon , the wisest of men , composed his songs and canticles . david in this way of poesy made an {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} for saul and ionathan . and ieremy made the {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} for good iosias . he that goes up to the mountaine of god , shall meet the prophets with musicall raptures . the jewes buryed their dead with great ceremony , and had their praeficaes , women singers , their {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} , their songs of mourning and lamentation , their burning of incense and sweet odours for their kings , and solemn mournings for their princes . they mourned and fasted ( sam. . . and sam. . . ) for their kings , they mourned many dayes , as for moses and ioshua , and so for iosias ; for whom ( as i said ) ieremy made the {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} . the chief mourner at every resting place sung the usuall {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} , or as we call it , the burden of the song ; like that in ier. . . that our eyes may run downe with teares , and our eye-lids gush out with waters . and this they did in hope of resurrection , as well as honour of the dead , for they comforted their friends with places of scripture fullest of comfort , as that of esay . . he will swallow up death in victory , and wipe away all teares : and psal. . . they shall flourish and spring againe as the grasse on the earth . and they called the church-yard , or burying place , beth chaiim , domus viventium , the house of the living . the primitive church used such ceremonies in this way , as would passe for popery amongst us now adayes ▪ though it was in the purest times of the church used , ( so much as it was by mistake abused ) and turned to idolatry . but if that were a just exception against lawfull ceremonies , it may stand as well against doctrine as discipline , for both have beene abused , the one by heretiques , the other by schismatiques , and both ought to be observed , the one in ordine ad esse ecclesiae , the other ad bene esse . so this kind of poesie hath warrant beyond exception , and this ceremony of buryall : he who wanted it amongst the jewes was said to have the buryall of an asse , so ier. . ieconia vvas said to have such a buryall . thus much i have said to satisfie the curious , or rather ignorant concerning poesy , and the honourable mention and memory of the dead : and they who had it not in the primitive church ( if it could be had ) were said to have insepultam sepulturam . as for my characters and translations , they are fruits of phansie , and vvere but as salads are to solid dishes , to sharpen the appetite : so these to my serious studies vvere , or as davids harp , to the melancholy thoughts of my imprisonment . i must acknowledge ( with thanks to god ) i found singular comfort in this way , and this sufferance , and that it set an edge upon my over-tyred and dulled braine , and these phancies vvere the fire vvarmed them . my vvish is , they may be accepted of such as know how to judge , and have so much honour not to misinterpret good meaning , and my zeale to the cause vvherein i suffer . i thanke heaven , god hath supplyed me vvith a large measure of patience and comfort , as pledges of his favour , and so much charity ▪ i wish them rather a right understanding , then any ill ; and such a proportion of inward comfort as may make them as happy in their liberty as i am in prison . let them therefore with charity reade , what they find in this little volume , and such an encouragement may produce to the view of the world , my more serious studies , to which these were but a preparative , and as i said before , a salad to more solid dishes , which i will promise you shall be served up , if this please ; if not , i have not lost my patience , much lesse the comfort of my phancie , ( which none can take from me ) and i can content my selfe with that greek saying , which suits me as well as if it had been made for me , {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} . the motto of my family . amicitias volo , inimicitias sperno . i study my friends , and scorne my causelesse enemies . this is the resolution of your servant , fr. wortley . characters and elegies . charact . i. the character of his royall majestie . my soveraigne is a king , whose vertues make his claim as good to a crown , as his blood and his birth-right doth to this : yet no king in europe can derive his right from more royall , vertuous , and victorious predecessors then he , nor better prove his title in relation to all three , then my master can . what the brittains lost to the saxons , they to the danes , and the norman got from both , is his birth-right , besides the kingdomes of scotland and ireland , and principality of wales , additions to the normans conquest : had he begun his first quinquenium , as he hath spent these last , and drawne that blood abroad which hath been spilt at home ; had he been as quick in justice , as he hath been apt to mercie ; had he brought in the scots into this kingdome , ( as his father did ; ) had they not been called in , my master had been the most powerfull and the most happy king in christendome , but he was born to raigne when the aspects of the planets were malignant , and in unhappy conjunctions or oppositions , in relation to his kingdomes , disposing subjects to innovation in religion , and immoderate desires of libertie , ( as that great master in astrologie , tichobrahi , in his observations upon that fatall comet preceded the germane war , foretold . ) t is true , planets may dispose , but cannot necessitate ; imperant astra sensui , non rationi , nil voluntatem impellunt , for otherwise they should be guilty of our sins , not we . when my master is upon his throne of justice , he is like the tongue of the ballance , and makes the scales stand right and equall betwixt the extreames , mercie and judgement : but god cast into the scale of mercie some grains of his favour , which turn'd the scale , and made him the most mild , pious , and best beloved prince of christendome : yet who can say that ever he feared to doe justice , or spared it , if not over-intreated by such as made too great an advantage of his goodnesse ? it was a saying of seneca's , that parcere omnibus & nullis est aequa crudelitas , but it is greater cruelty to the good to spare all , then to the bad to spare none . seneca sayes , clementia tutum regem in aperto ostendit , for that , he said , begot the love of the people , and i say it should make him raigne in the hearts and affections of his subjects ; but never good king was worse understood , nor more unhappily mistaken . all i can or will say , is , the faults which were laid to his charge in the beginning of his troubles , ( but whispered ) are now thwarted so , that they become {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} , contradictory one to the other , and one of them must fall . at first he was weak , now he is thought too politique ; at first easie , now too stiffe ; at first too peacefull , now too martiall : in a word , i need not write his character , if his history be not wronged ; i cannot make so good an one , as that will prove him : to which i leave him , but with hopes to see him break through this cloud , ( which over-shadowes him ) and shine as bright and gloriously as ever , or more , ( improved by these sad tryalls ) which shall be my prayer for my master , and ought to be of every loving subject for his soveraigne . ii. the character of the queenes majestie . the queene is a lady of illustrious blood and birth , as any of europe , ( except her own daughters ) whose father casts the scale , and gives it them , derived from him , who is really one of the best borne princes of christendome , except his owne son . she was daughter to that mars of france , henry the great , ( truly the greatest france ever had ) as well for royall blood , heroick vertues , as power and dominion . at home few princes were so beloved , abroad none more feared , for his sword was as glorious as his wisdom . her mother was a lady of great blood and wisdome , as appeared by her government of france , ( a people uncapable of {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} , the government of woman ) that must , and wil confesse it self more happy in her regiment , then it hath been ever since ( although victorious ) under the service or command of her two great states men the cardinals , she commanding that in love and obedience , which reason of state hath since conquered in france . the beauty of our queene was as royall and soveraigne as her bloud and vertues , and true parallels , yet concur in the centre . wisdome and constancie are her portion in this world , and her piety bids faire for the next . her wisdome appeares to all admiration , for she hath out-done all agents of her sexe , much more of her quality , in her negotiations , her love adding wings to her spirit , and that strength to her body , to expedite what the most active here or abroad thought improbable , nay impossible to be effected . for her constancie , i wonder at that , more then this , that for a crowne she dare not change her religion , having such a president as her glorious father , ( in all but that ) and yet admire it more , considering her love to the king , and the advantage her wisdome assures the change would bring to their designes , the perfection of the presidents , the one in constancie , the other in change , ladies being more apt to follow the old french , then the new english fashion . if i knew her not wise , as royall and pious as either , i could most admire her favours to those of our nation in france , considering her sufferance , and her husbands here ; yet she is still a sanctuary to her husbands friends , ( a rare president of charitie ) and in all this so cheerfull , she rather encourageth others , then seemes to sinke under such a weight of afflictions , and in this exceeds her selfe as much as her sexe in the other . though i would not have her mutable , yet from my soule i wish her conformable to the king in her religion , which must be the work of heaven ; in the meane time i wish that we were as really charitable , as she is truly pious , that she could see our faith by our good works , that they might as much convince her conscience to change , as reason of state might and does move her reason to that conformitie , and truly binds her to it . in a word , were she thus , i know no nation under heaven so happy as we must then confesse our selves , who have now made our selves ludibrium mundi , the scorne of the world , as much despised abroad , as we lately were glorious : who like esops dog , have forsaken the substance , and snatched at shadowes , and our losse is really as irreparable , as his is fained , if heaven help not . iii. the hopefull prince . as the sea is the centre of the element of water , to which all rivers tend , and in which they emptie their fulnesse : so is my prince the sea of royall vertues , the centre of princely blood , from which we hope springs of vertues , and honor , nay rivers will break forth and inrich the world in future ; as all rayes have a point where they begin , and a centre or point of concourse either directly or by reflex where they meet or terminate , so there is no line or ray of vertue , that meets not in this point of concourse , no point of pietie of honor which we may not petere principia from his royall progenitors , and terminate it in him . fashions follow the humours of the people , and they the dispositions of mens mindes , dispositions are much governed ( in respect of the remote cause ) by the influence and aspects of the stars , and that by the supreame cause of causes : if we looke with the eyes of nature , we may wonder at the times ; if of grace ; wee have deserved the worst wee suffer , by abusing the best blessings wee injoyed . if this hinder not , i know no reason , but wee may looke for happy times , and derive them from these lesser wheeles , moved by the greater . looke on my prince , if you ( martiall spirits ) expect action , and derive him from that boanerges , the sonne of thunder , henry of france , the greatest of that name , nay of her kings : if for peacefull and politique government , looke northward upon king james the solomon of his time , the prince of peace on earth : if you looke to be glorious in forraigne conquests , derive him from william the conqueror ( who began younger then he ) and with happy successe subdued his rebels , joyned with the power of france , and made both henry of france and philip his sonne know , that he meant to be a conqueror : if you looke for glorious action further from home , derive him from the first richard , or the first edward , whose names were as terrible to infidells , as william to the saxons , & as much renowned amongst all christian princes : if nearer home , draw his line from the victorious edwards , the glorious henries : if you would have him subtilly politicke , with lesse respect to soveraign honour , fetch him from the eleventh lewis of france : if more wise and truly valiant , and better skill'd to govern the english , either in the martiall or civill way , or politicke , derive him from him , from whom he derives his right to the crowne , the seaventh henrie : if you would have him pious and patient , and struggle with his stars with prudent magnanimitie : joyned with these vertues , looke upon his royall parents , and pray that like our third henrie , they after these stormes may be as happy in my prince their sonne , our hopes , as he and his queene were in our first edward , in relation to both kingdomes : that after as long a raigne of his royall parents , he may ( as he did ) give law to both kingdomes , and settle the three kingdomes , and leave them in as much glorie , as he did this . iv. a true character of the illustrious james duke of york . the duke of yorke is a prince for his birth may compare with any of europe , ( being my master , his brothers parallel ) and i dare say cannot suffer in the comparison . he ownes his royall father , and is as like him as nature could cast him in so princely a mould : so like he is , we may invert that royall epithet was given his father , jacobissimus carolus , to carolissimus jacobus : and he makes it good . those who know him , know i flatter him not , if i say his disposition ownes his illustrious blood , and his gallantry speaks the languages of his birth . i dare promise his princely brother a gallant second , and as faithfull as he can hope him . as valiant clarence was to our glorious . henry , so shall james be to his victorious brother . had frances mars her glorious . henry seene these blossomes springing from his flower-de-luce , he would have rejoyced as much as so great a king could , to see his dearest daughter , and his so lively character their mother so happy in this blessing , as it repayres or counterballances the sad condition of her present fortune : and he would have righted his interest in them , and have made england know he was their grandfather , ( which the world shall see by their glorious actions . ) it is not novelty , out of our histories to produce examples , that our wisest and most victorious kings and princes have by a supreme power been raised out of the dust , and have erected stately monuments and glorious tropheys upon such sad foundations as ours must build on ; so william triumphed over his rebellious normans , in spite of the power of france , and after over the english : so our second henry , our third , our fourth , and seventh , ( to omit others ) made themselves glorious in spite of suppression and sad tryals , and were ( like gold refined in the fornace ) made more glorious , happy , and wise by their afflictions , for the sweetnesse of changes appeares best in oppositions . he knowes not true happinesse , who hath not felt some adversity . sharp schools make the best scholars . who knowes not the sad effects of warre , cannot value peace . and no prince manages peace so happily , as he who knowes the evil of war , yet knowes how to put on his armes , as well as to lay them aside . in a word , this hardship our hopes have suffered , hath much improved them , and i dare promise to the world happinesse from it , and i hope a share in his , whose title entitles my hope and interest in him , as well as my princely master . v. the character of a noble generall . a noble generall is a man who hath peace with heaven , and forgets not he is to make his accompt to god , as well as man , and therefore dares not doe that he knowes not how to answer to god , in respect of his conscience , nor man in regard of his honour : he knowes he is not fit for command of others , is not master of himselfe , and therefore studyes that first ; yet is not such selfe-lover that he forgets his duty to either god or his prince , it being no question , whether a generall should obey god , or man , he first examines the quarrell before he accepts his commission , and that satisfyed dares dye in it , and that is his rule by which he directs his service . and as the seaman by his compasse stears his course by that card , yet varies his course as he does in his voyage , applying his experience to occasions , yet still with an eye upon his card , he often turnes his eyes inward , and there findes his character of his owne charge : an army of as different humours , and dispositions , as hannibals army was , and desires to governe his way : never one nation was more intire in obedience , never generall more absolute in command , never generall studyed his commission more , never army executed it better . had carthage beene as good a master , as he a servant , he had mastred rome . he cannot be happy in command , that knows not to obey , and by that learnt to command . that prince or state puts an army into a young souldiers charge , its probable may pay as dear for his learning , as he that trusts his fortune in a ship without a pilot : if he speede well he is more beholden to chance , then discretion ; this disadvantage is too great for a wise man to adventure the trust , and an honest man the charge : passions and sensualities are not more obnoxious to the soule in the naturall body , then these are to a generall in relation to the body politique , good servants they are , but dangerous masters : as the senses present objects to the phancie , and that to the intellect , yet still the will commands : so he is not in this without his well-chosen and well-rewarded intelligence and correspondency , nor without his owne jugdement , and his choice councells , yet keepes still the prerogative of his command , not so premptory , as absolute . and as the soule loves every member , yet makes use of it , and communicates liberally to its occasions , as it relates to the body , so he commands not but with as much love , yet indulges not so any member of his body , nor sense , or faculty of his soul , but he prefers the body to any member , and the soul to any sense , and will rather curbe , and suppresse an insolency or presumption in either , then indanger the whole , and knows that is lesse cruelty to the good to spare all , then to the bad to save none . he looks upon his officers as his senses , and his souldiers as his members , yet had rather cut off a finger then be deaf , or lose a hand then his eies . and this care of his is happily requited with a dutiful regard and affection unto his souldiers . and yet he in respect to his officers accompts himself singulis major , and to his army , universis minor . in a word , as god trusts the soule with the charge and command of the body , so is he trusted with his army , and is as loath to hazard that , but feares not : much lesse denies to deliver up his commission , or make his accompt , when called for , by the supream power , and hath alwayes his accompt ready in respect to that supreame commission of gods , or that inferiour of mans , and therefore feares no more to hazard or leave it ( when a just occasion commands it ) then a well satisfyed christian to dye in god and his princes just cause , whose faith hath already crowned his head with glorious martyrdom , and such a generall deserves as well the glory of a rom● triumph , as the martyr his aureola . vi . a true english protestant is one who professeth the doctrine and discipline of the church of england , established first by general councels and synods , and after confirmed by the knowne lawes of the kingdome , and professeth against the contrary . he sticks to the protestation of ausburge , whence he had his name ; he loves the unity of the church so , that he endeavours next her verity in faith , her unity and conformity in discipline with that church , not daring to broach new opinions , nor preach them to disturbe the peace of his aged mother . private interpretations of scripture he approves not , but submits his owne , and maintaines none against the received and approved doctrine of the church , whereof he is a member : he thinks that evangelicall counsel is to be observed , that all things must be done in order and decencie : he conceives the king to be the head of the church , as it is personall , not spirituall , and hath sworne him gods deputy in government , and trusted with the sword , which he must not beare in vaine : he dares not question his authority , who is onely answerable to god , but in his heart honours him as his vice-gerent , and knowes that to resist his power , is to resist him that gave it ; and though the penalty be damnation , yet he feares not that so much as the offence given to god , who gave the power : he confesses an obligation to gods morall lawes , and mans judiciall , and that there must be as well obedience active as passive , to the one , as the other : he knowes christs spirituall kingdome opposeth not the temporall claime and power of kings , but cesar must have his tribute ( the badge of conquest ) as god must have his in the acknowledgment of his protection . he dares call his soveraigne the anointed of god , since god called cyrus a heathen so , not for the holinesse of externall unction , but the internall character of supreame power , and saul a demoniack , a persecutor , a murtherer : so he can make a difference between types and metaphors , the one being in persons , the other in words . he conceives passive obedience alwayes due to the power of the king , where active cannot be performed with a good conscience . he beleeves faith alone cannot , nor doth justifie without works , but both together , the first before god , the second before men . he beleeves god rewards above merit , yet that there is difference in glory , and reward , though all have fulnesse . traditions and ceremonies he reverences , as they are in antiquity , and streame from the springs of originall purity , not to the necessity of doctrine , but discipline . he detests parity in church or in common-wealth , as tending to anarchy , and destroy those it will follow . he thinkes it not fit to pull downe the cantrells of an arche till the key-stone be settled , and then the greater the weight is , the stronger it will be ; he likes the fabrick of the old so well , he thinks the change may be dangerous . he dares not sweare against his conscience , nor vow implicite obedience to occasionall ordinances . he thinks no authority but the same , or a greater then that to whom he hath made a judicial vow , can disanull it . he is loyall for conscience sake to his soveraigne , charitable for gods sake to his neighbour , and dares not doe that unto another , he cannot be content should be done to himselfe ; much lesse rob his soveraigne of his birth-right , or deface gods character ; he thinks dixi vos dii estis belongs supremely to his soveraign , ministerially to his subjects : he dares not distinguish betwixt the king and his person , and thinke the one at westminster , the other in his armie ; and hazard that in the feild to save that at westminster , he likes not that nice distinction forged in the scoole of the jesuits , derived from the devills logicke : his heart thinks no disloyall thought , much lesse dares he speake a word to lessen the reverence due to majestie , not for feare of punishment , but the sinne ; who dares not forsake his soveraigne in his adversity , lest god deny him in his necessity ; who in a dungeon can finde more comfort , then they who commanded him thither . he with joseph finds his keepers wrought by a supreme power to mercy , if not trust , whose cheerfulnesse is a comfort to his fellow-prisoners , and no lesse advantage to himselfe , god making him the instrument of their happinesse in their adversities , and him happy in his gallant cheerfulnesse , and magnanimous patience . in a word , he dares in his princes just quarrell meet death with as much courage , as david met goliah , as daniel went into the lions den , or the three children into the fiery fornace , and in the midst of his tortures , can with as much cheerfulnesse sing his nunc dimitte , as simeon did with his christ in his armes . this is your true cavallier . vii . an antinomian , or anabaptisticall independent is one who wonders that s. paul would refer himselfe ( though for conformities sake ) to a councell , he having an equall share with peter in the division of the circumcision , and the uncircumcision : he cannot endure to heare of councells or synods , and is much troubled that he approves of the altar , and yet well pleased that he refers the minister for his livelihood to it , though he tythes not mint nor anise ( as not approving tythes ) yet he neglects the waightiest matters of the law , and in this agrees with the pharisee . you shall find him pointed in the new testament ( with a vae vobis ) who love the chiefe seats at feasts , and make long prayers in widdowes houses , and lead silly women captive ; he approves not that evangelicall councell , to worke out salvation with feare and trembling , for this toucheth too much upon our obligation to the law ; besides , feare is opposite to faith , and trembling to boldnesse ; he is as bold as blind byard , and scarce will be beholding to christ for his securitie ; he thinks himself of a higher form in the school of gods church , then to submit to the pedagogie of the law morall , iudiciall , or ceremoniall ; he hath found a shorter cut to heaven then the catholicke church ever heard of , and a cheaper , ( faith without workes ) he thinks canonicall obedience a badge of the beast , and subordination to temporall or ecclesiasticall powers , of a forfeiture of the freedome of faith ; an oath he avoides as a snare for his conscience , and is so tender in this kinde , he wisely refuseth the nationall covenant ; if he hath taken the oath of supremacie , or that of allegiance , he hath repented it with more sorrow and detestation then any of his sinnes ; he is confident the spirituall power of christs kingdome here , disingages him of all temporall obligation ; the hornet is not a worse neighbour to the bee , then he is to the presbyterian , and robs his hive as oft both of his honie and bees ; he talkes much of a new began kingdome of christ , set up in the hearts and soules of the saints , which dischargeth him of all secular duty . he is confident , that this is that kingdome of glory here , which shall last a thousand yeeres , and expects no other . he hath heard the last trumpe , which like the voyce of an angel is not heard , but of those to whom it was sent . he is confident christ hath already divided the world into two parts , the goats and the sheep , and they are severed . he thrusts the presbyterian out of the flock , as linsey wolsey was out of the jewish temple . he will not allow a bishop and presbyter to differ in power , but roman-like takes that himselfe as his due , which they could not agree on , and would make a congregationall hierarchie as absolute , as the presbyter a classicall , or the bishop an episcopall . in a word , he hath spun his religion to so fine a thred , that it may more fitly be termed a mysterie then a profession : his charitie is as invisible as his faith , and his hope as his charitie : he is in this indeed to be praised , he is of so publike a spirit , that he would have a community of all things : he can endure no prerogative but that of theirs , ( that of faith ) which gives him a title to all ours : and of so harmlesse an humility he is , he avoweth that we need no fig-leaves to cover nakednesse , crescite & multiplicamini is the first command , and all he sticks to , he would have none baptized but such as can give an account of their faith , but thinks it needlesse to give any either to god or man of their works : he thinks that faith is the forme that gives the esse to the sacraments , but not good works the bene esse to faith , and so either he will goe to heaven without them , or else he thinks that god doth his faith wrong , and his owne promise more . viii . a jesuite is to the moderate papist , as the puritan to the protestant ; for his originall he is descended from ignatius , and begotten in spirituall adultery upon the popes spouse : he was nurst with much care , and educated with as much in the popes schoole , at the austrian charge , better read in the politicks then divinity , though in both learned beyond the common reach . the anabaptist and hee looke severall wayes , yet they are like sampsons foxes tyed together by the tails with fire-brands , and commonly endanger the country that harbours them . the esseni were not more austere in the jewish church , then he in the christian . they agree in this both alike , enemies to cesar . he is to the pope , as the pharisee was to the high-priest , alwayes of his councell , commonly of the quorum : he will compasse as much ground as either to gaine a proselyte : his endeavour is thankfulnesse to the pope for care of his education , and to the austrian for his charges : he requites them both , and becomes an usefull instrument to advance the hierarchie of the one , and the tyrannie of the other . the pharisee was not a greater observer of traditions then he , nor prouder of his philacteree , then he of his order ; he is so well vers'd in questions , that the pharisee did not trouble our saviour more with dilemmaes , then he with dangerous problems doth the catholique church ; none improves an order more then hee , nor is a greater husband of the common stock , which is so great an one , that with his golden key , and his pick-lock , or his scrue of confession , he rules the councels of most princes , and crooks them to his owne ends . though he seemes to deny the world , no man hath a greater share in it ; no man pretends greater piety to god , purity and humility in himselfe , nor charitable equity to man , then he . he dares challenge god to account , and thinks him so great a debtor , that he is able to leave a huge treasure of supererogation to the church , and quit scores with him ; yet in conclusion proves a bankrupt , and owes more then he can ever hope to pay ; and yet so proud , he scornes to compound with his redeemer , or make use of his surety . he thinkes christ did himselfe and his master the pope wrong with his humility , and blames him he made no more use of his legions of angels to establish a temporall monarchy . there is no text troubles him more then peters paying tribute to cesar , {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} , & ter negabis , are farre more easie of digestion , and trouble him lesse to answer . pro te & me he conceives are words of dangerous consequence , and had he been of christs councell , should have beene spared . in a word , he hath gotten more for his master and himselfe , then christ ever challenged , or meant to saint peter , or his successor , either in that hierarchie hee claimes , or the temporall power he usurpes , which he pretends is propter bonum ecclesiae , with which clause or caution , he can absolve any judiciall oath , though sealed with the sacrament , and signed by a legion of cardinalls , as pope paschall did his with henry the emperour ; so he prefers the churches liberties in temporall things before his owne salvation , and the royall signature of the sacrament . ix . the true character of a northerne lady , as she is wife , mother , and sister , is the wife to a husband as intollerably hard as harsh ; yet like the bee , she sucks honey out of this hemlock , and gaines a good stock of honour and happiness out of this misfortune , and lets the world see it is more his then hers . she manages her little deduction out of his fortune so , that by her discreet disbursements he may see the true use of wealth , which he thinkes is rather in possession then use ; so he hath no more comfort of his wealth then the indian mole in the golden mines , if he cast up any it may cost him deare , yet he gaineth not by it , it is for others use , not his owne ; not with any intention to inrich others , but by chance . that the masculine is more worthy then the feminine gender , is a rule we take up in our childhood , and lay downe with our lives ; but she gives lilly the lye , she proves that the theologicall , and cardinall vertues are of the female gender , and {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} and {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} , potestas and potentia , power and ability too ; and concludes ( like a mathematician ) demonstratively . as a chaste wife and happy mother she brought her husband a son , in whose education she shewes her selfe more like a father in her discreet management of his youth in travell , then a tender mother in distrust of gods providence abroad , and doth in this like the wise merchant , who trusts the sea with his bullion and stock , and transacts it where exchange runnes highest , and so ballances his trading by the probability , not certainty of advantage in the returne ; whereas her husband would wrap his talent in a napkin , or hide it in a dung-hill , and breed his sonne no better then himselfe , were not she the better merchant ; yet hers is but a mothers interest , his a fathers ; hers in blood , his in perpetuity . as for the sisters part , she hath out-done all presidents in that more then both the other , it being hard to finde a sister can be so tender a mother to her brothers orphane , that the childe ( were he come to her owne sonnes age ) could scarcely misse his mother , such is her care of it . and that which most commends her , is , she in her noble brothers imprisonment , hath managed his misfortunes with as much or more advantage then her owne , wasting her weak body in those noble services , nay over-witting those engins imployed to ruine her brother . like moses shee stood in the gap betwixt her brother and the parliaments displeasure , nor would give over untill ( like him ) she by her intercession had set him free , and delivered him from the judgements which hung like a cloud over his head . she lost not the least advantage in relation to her brothers honour , fortune or happiness . in a word , she is to her husband a loyall wife , to her sonne a discreetly indulgent mother , to her brother such a sister , as the wisest man would wish his owne , and i mine . mothers , wives , sisters , you who would not erre , steere all your courses by this character . this is no faigned character , but true , my soule could wish it were my sisters due . nor wealth nor titles could inrich our blood so much as this would , could they make it good . x. the politique neuter is an hermaphrodite partaking of two sexes , and as unfruitfull to his prince or country ; a man that dares not professe the religion he was baptized to , nor protest against an innovation , and so no protestant : he reserves his choice for the prevailing partie , and for the present professeth that which they doe : wonders at the distractions in the church , and common-wealth , and in the mean time is more distracted in himselfe : he dares not owne his conscience now , and therefore that will change masters , and turne witnes against him , when he stands most need of it : he would fain serve two masters at once , and please both , but finding our saviours words true , that he must hate the one , and love the other , he resolves to hate him he fears most , and to love neither , not firme to either : he loses the good opinion of both , and so fals betwixt two stools : god calls on him in the old testament with a quere how long he will halt betwixt two opinions , and christ in the new promises him the laodiceans reward : he is so far from trusting gods mercie in martyrdome , that he dares not trust his providence in wants ; he is as much troubled as david at the prosperitie of the wicked , but hath not the patience to goe to gods house with him to enquire of their ends ; he will not beleeve davids experience concerning the children of the righteous , whom he never saw begging their bread ; he had rather leane upon the rotten reeds of his owne policie , then trust the firme rock of gods providence : if he ever professed to be for the king , when his cause prospered , he presently repented it , and purchased the parliaments pardon and protection , and paid at least two yeares purchase for it ; if he be a prisoner , it is with accommodation , and by it he saves the charges of hospitalitie ; yet hopes that moneys thus disburst makes him a martyr , and may be pleaded as well in bar of further assistance to the king , as a privie seale , though it be disburst for the parliaments use ; if for the parliament , you shall never find him without a royall protection , and purchased friendship at oxford , and that sometimes is mistaken , and shewn to the wrong partie , and then he payes for it ; if either partie prevaile , he is in misericordia ; if an accommodation ( for which he prays more heartily then the forgivenesse of his sins ) help not , he hath so long endeavoured to get a dexterous use of his left hand , that he hath almost lost the perfect use of his right , and is become an imperfect perfect ambodexter , or at best so cunning at leger-demaine , that he gets the repute of a notable jugler ; in a word , he dares not seeme what he is , nor be what he seemes , but like luke-warme water having neither heat enough to warme the stomacke , nor being cold enough to coole it , is rejected of both , and spued out as friend to neither . xi . the citie paragon is a woman whose birth was greater then her portion , but her vertues greater then her birth ; who was marryed to a husband whose fortune exceeded his wisdome , yet his fortune in her was greater then his wealth , who manages his fortune so , that she improves his conscience as much as his wealth , and her wit makes him eminent in the city . she loves not ( with the pharisees ) the highest places at feasts , nor salutations in assemblies , knowing envy attends the first , and pride the other . her dresse is more comely then costly , modest then garish ; her visits , like sabboth dayes labours , not frequent , and never without charity , or necessity undertaken : her entertainment to her husbands friends , or her owne , suits both their conditions ; more neat it is then curious ; and is more reall and solid then ceremonious . she desires her children may be so bred , that they may be seasoned in their childhood with those vertues which may make them happy in their age . and knowing examples prevaile more then precepts , she gives them none , but such as she would have them follow . those troubles incident to rich men ( which they call misfortunes ) she makes blessings by her right use of them , knowing it is not the fruition , but right use , that makes us truly rich , nor the losse of wealth can make any so miserable as the abuse of it . if she heare any ill of her neighbour , she had rather suppresse it , then report it ; if any good , she will rather improve it , then enviously diminish it . if any uncertaine evill be reported of any good man or woman , shee breaks it in the egge , and will not give it the reputation of credit , much lesse of report : if any uncertain good , she had rather beleeve it then question it ; so she makes her worst neighbours better , and her good she improves . in bargaines for her husband , she rather makes a wise bargaine then a crafty ; she had rather save then circumvent ; the loves not to hide leven in the lump of her husbands fortune , nor dares trust her stock with laying up what oppression must make good againe . she likes not gilded pills , she knowes they may prove too cathartick . in a word , the state suffers what her husband gaines , that she wanted the power of a greater man , to doe more good , since her will is answerable to the best , and her wisdome not inferiour to her will . you city-dames who imitate court-ladies in their greatest state , learne but the dresse which here you have , you may much cost and labour save : and be esteemed better far , nay honoured more then ladies are . then thank my country which hath lent your city such a president . xii . a sharking committee-man is one trusted with more then he is worth : he is like ezechiels lesser wheele , moved by the greater ▪ if he doe discharge his trust , yet there may be treason in it ; if not , there must be knavery . he reads the turkish history with passion , when he considers the great turks policy to imploy greedy slaves , and the cunningest , in the places of greatest profit , that he may satisfie his people with his justice , and get all that by escheat , which hee had heaped by oppression . hee feares not god so much as the people doe him , who sacrifice to him ( as the indians to the devill ) ne noceat . he hath still in his bosome the horror of two dayes of judgement , the one at westminster , which he fears more then the last when ever it come . the faces of the committee for examinations are more dreadfull to his sense , then the thought of the last day to his ●eared conscience . his antidote is a paramount friend of the quorum , and if he faile him , he is a lost man . no sheriffe was ever quicker with his elegit , then he with his capias for body , goods and lands , which they call a sequestration , though the party may justly plead the statute of this parliament in barre of his oppression , if the priviledge of person , or propriety of goods were as really intended as pretended , yet he fears no futura contingentia but his paramounts favour , in which he hath no more terme then villains have in villanage , ( during pleasure ) that is , dum bene se gesserit in omnibus . he heaps wealth to purchase favour , and gets that to purchase wealth , with which he buyes his heire a command , and in conclusion gets a garrison of ease , where he and his cub may kennell , and like the fox retreats to his hole when he is hunted , this will make his peace ( if well managed ) with either party . in a word , if ever he come to a jury , his countenance will cast him , for that is as full of guilt , as his conscience of horror . he who hath the least skill in phisiognomie , shall finde furcam in fronte , or crucem in facie ; and if any cast his nativity , and will be at the charge of a scheame , you shall finde saturne and mars in conjunction in the house of mercurie , all malignant : yet he a sincere professor , alias , a knave in graine , or a traitor gradibus intensis . xiii . britanicus his pedigree . a fatall prediction of his end . i dare affirme him a jew by descent , and of the tribe of benjamin , lineally descended from the first king of the jewes , even saul , or at best he ownes him and his tribe , in most we reade of them . first , of our english tribes , i conceive his fathers the lowest , and the meanest of that tribe , stocke , or generation , and the worst how bad soever they be : melancholly he is , as appeares by his sullen and dogged wit ; malicious as saul to david , as is evident in his writings ; he wants but sauls javelin to cast at him ; he as little spares the kings friends with his pen , as saul did jonathan his sonne in his reproach ; and would be as free of his javelin as his pen , were his power sutable to his will as ziba did to mephibosheth , so does he by the king , he belies him as much to the world , as he his master to david , and in the day of adversitie is as free of his tongue , as shimei was to his soveraigne , and would be as humble as he , and as forward to meet the king , as he was david , should the king returne in peace . abishaes there cannot want to cut off the dogs head , but david is more mercifull then shimei can be wicked ; may he first consult with the witch of endor , but not worthy of so noble a death as his owne sword , die the death of achitophel for feare of david , then may he be hangd up as the sonnes of saul were against the sunne , or rather as the amalekites who slew isb●sheth , and brought tidings and the tokens of the treason to david ; may his hands and his feet be as sacrifices cut off , and hung up , and so pay for the treasons of his pen and tongue ; may all heads that plot treasons , all tongues that speake them , all pens that write them , be so punisht . if sheba paid his head for his tongues fault , what deserves britanicus to pay for his pen and trumpet ? is there never a wise woman in london ? we have abishaes . xiiii . the phaenix of the court is a ladie whose birth and beautie called her to the court , as fit to attend majestie ; yet her vertues and discretion fixt more honour upon her then either , though admired for the one , as much honoured for the other . though her beautie like hellens might beget a war in competition , yet these command a reverence , as much as those inforce affection : her words hold waight as well as her actions , she waighes them before she utters them , much more her actions which are twice waighed , and give authoritie to others , and are rather admired then imitated , yet ought as well to be imitated as admired : for her companie it is ( if voluntarie ) such as she would be thought to be : her reall devotion is canonicall in relation to order , if occasion fail not , and to her self , yet none more duly observes the assigned houres for gods worship : her frequent attendance on gods service is not enjoyned as a penance , but spontaneous ; not with hope of merit , for that spoils and prejudices even charitie , which is the seasoning of our workes , but lookes upon mercie with humilitie , rather then merit with confidence , for she workes her salvation out of the fire with feare and trembling , yet she wants not a graine of lively faith , nor charitie , the one assuring her soule , the other the world of that happinesse , which neither the subtiltie nor malice of the wicked , or their master can rob her of , nor the world take from her : as for her dresse , she had rather owne any infirmitie , either in colour , shape , or feature , then cover them with an undecent , much lesse an immodest attire , though her judgement even in this be like the royall stamp to bullion , which gives it reputation and denomination , and makes it currant , so doth her approbation any fashion ; in a word , she is honoured of those she reverences , and reverenc'd by those she loves ; she had rather know her self truly wise , then be thought so , yet would not onely be vertuous , but be esteemed so ; she knows there may be envie in the first without cause , and dishonour in the other without reason . come ladies you at deare rates buy the french wash and italian dye : all you who paint they say will trade , here is true beautie will not fade . looke well into this right court glasse , and learne by it your selves to dresse . an elegie vpon the right honourable the earle of lindsey . . great lindsey's falne , yet did not fall by chance , for sparrowes fall not but by providence . what are our sinnes when such as lindsey fall ? one who so often had been generall . one nere deceiv'd our hopes by sea or land , and had been now as glorious in command , had our reserve of horse as bravely stood to their great charge , as lindsey made it good . but they pursue the chase , therefore we may ( and justly too ) say they lost us the day . sure their commission was not left so large , that a reserve without command should charge . for a reserve for safe retreat should stand , and should not stir without expresse command . their zeale to honour , and the kings just cause , might make brave men forget strict martiall lawes . so lindsey fell , as when the phenix lyes in her rich urne , another doth arise even from her ashes : so from lindsey's grave , another phenix ( we ) or lindsey have . a gallant man , and of most noble parts , as great a master of his trade , as hearts ; but the old phenix ( in his martiall heat ) did great gustavus , past his cannon beat : with reverence yet old christian speaks his name , then boasts from danish blood the english came ; wee must acknowledge and confesse t is true , the normans their discent from rollo drew . and rollo was a dane by birth , yet wee thought lindsey ( mongst the danes ) as brave as he : and we beleeve that our young lindsey rather improves his stocke , then borrowes from his father . hic jacet robertus bartu , baro willoughby , dominus de ersby , comes de snidsey , magnus angliae camerarius , apud edghill serenissimi regis caroli {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} , a turmis equitū ( in regis presidiū relictus ) in prelio vulneratus ( etiam ad mortem ) sed non sine victoria cecidit . an elegy upon the right honourable the earle of northampton . i must acknowledge , now i love thee more , ( when thou art not ) then ere i did before . the love wherewith i living loved thee , is changd to honour of thy memory : as rarifi'd ayre turns to the purest fire , so what i lately lov'd , i now admire . many professe , they for the king would die ; thou for his sake , didst offered life deny ; thou wouldst not beg , but martyrdom command , they offered what thou wouldst not understand ; there 's not a hayre , which from thy head was torn , and in despite to loyalty was worn in triumph ; not a wound to thee was given , but they are in the black records of heaven : and when the grand inquest for blood shall come , they must strike tallies for thy martyrdom . how many scotch bawbies , cast in account , would to the talents david left amount ? for if wee reckon , wee cannot go lesse then this proportion , this they must confesse ; they noble loyall blood , i dare be bold , compar'd with theirs , will this proportion hold : what disadvantage hath our cause , since ▪ we become such loosers by a victory ? hic jacet spencer dominus compton , comes northamptontae , progenie nobilis , & conjugio foelix , & filiis utrisque dignus , qui sanguineo regi fidelitatem martyrio obsignivit : nec magno gustavo dissimilis victor in praelio ; juxta stafford , per infortunium cecidit , anno salutis , . an elegy upon the right honourable the earle of kingston . kingston , thy losse was epidemicall ; it was indeed a generall losse to all . i will not name thy ladies interest , childrens , nor servants , theirs were farre the least ; though i dare say thus much , for all the three , th 'ave lost as much as in a friend could be ; no better husband liv'd , nor kinder father , nor nobler master , joyning these together . i speak the losse but as it did relate , to god his church , the king , and to the state : for his religion it was pure and sound , and no man better understood his ground : a protestant he liv'd , a martyr dy'd , professing truth , his truth by death was try'd : this i dare say , the king had none more able nor really loyall at his councell table : of brave resolves , and of a publick spirit , who knew him best , knew he conceald his merit ; discreet he was , and providently wise ; kinde to his friends , and faithfull in advise . no man his countrey better understood , nor was more apt to do it reall good . though he was rich , i dare pronounce him just , no man was more religious in his trust ; nor better understood this kingdomes lawes ; yet he with noble blood durst seal the cause ; nor would great kingston in the cause have dyed , had he not been in conscience satisfyed as well as law . these two hee durst not sever , since god in this cause joynd them both together . hic jacet robertus comes de kingston , ortu nobilis , conjugio nobilior , sed prole nobilissimus . {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} . an elegy upon the right honourable the earle of carnarvan . here lies the highest fancy of our times , who lucian like could sharply scourge our crimes . whose wit mercuriall was , high , and sublime , so near ceration , ' ●wanted only time : for he had all our artists could require to m●ke th'elixar , matter , art , and fire : all three sublimed to as great a heigth as art and nature could ; ( and all set right ) thus near perfection brave carnarvan fell , who left behinde him scarce a paralell . if men shall rise in judgement , then i fear this loyall lord shall condemn many a peere , who more obliged to the king then he , have scarce returnd or thanks or loyalty . hic jacet comes de carnarvan , & baro dormar , mercurio magnus , sed marti major , qui vitam hanc in regis causa , cum armis deposuit , vulnere sed nobili ictus ( heu ) cecidit invictus . an elegy for the princely brothers of the illustrious duke of lenox . stay passer by , and fix thine eye , oh see who here intomb'd doth lye ; three brethren of illustrious birth , loyall as ever breathed on earth : stuarts , and of the noblest blood , but more because they made it good ; i dare pronounce their deaths as loyall as was their births , and actions royall . mistake mee not , it is their dust ▪ ( not they ) the earth hath here in trust . their soules are mounted up farre higher , above the element of fire , and shall unto this dust returne , nay shall this very dust informe , when all this world shall be calcin'd , and in that generall urne refin'd : nay which is more , they shall appeare , more glorious then they ever were : if chymists by their art can show , what vegetives from salt may grow ; and make them in a glasse appeare , in specie , as they growing were . if salt of flowers , their formes can keep , till fire shall cause them from their sleep ; how much more when that trump shall sound , shall fire , and ayre , the sea , and ground , their treasures to their formes restore , more glorious then they were before . if martyrs as the romists say , can merit an aureala ; i dare pronounce these three lie here , deserve those diademns to weare . it is the cause men undertakes , not sufferance , the true martyr makes : the cause is gods , and therefore good , they seal'd this cause , with royall blood : if these to any can be due , why not ( brave brothers ) then to you ? en jacent hic tres heroes illustrissimorum principum lenoxiae , nec non richmundiae ducum filii , & fratres , nec tanto patre , nec fratre ( quamvis regali ) indigni , qui diversi in preliis , sed unanimiter cecidere , qui regi fideles , sanguine nec minus regali , regis causam obsignarunt , & morte verè nobili triumpharunt . an elegy upon my much honourable friend the lord viscount falkland . here beuclark lies , arts monopolist rather , who engrost more then that most painfull father , grea●origen ▪ who so out-vi'd the rest , even all the glorious ▪ fathers of the east . besides he was a compleat courtier too , yet could the souldier in his trade out do ; his noble fancy was indeed so rich , no pen of europe flew a higher pitch : envy it selfe must needs confesse that hee , was mars i' th camp ▪ yet the court mercury . faukland too forward prest in his advance ▪ hoping to beat them from their ordinance : an ill meant shot both to the king , and state , untimely put a period to his date : gods powerfull hand turns that great wheel we know , the lesser moves , so starres work here below ; how else should twinnes so differ in their fate , if starres mans fortune did necessitate ? when heaven does with its punishments begin , it oft makes sinnes the punishment of sinne . we were rebellious unto heaven , 't is reason we should be scourged with the whips of treason . this is not done by fortune , chance , or fate , our sinnes heavens justice doth necessitate . vicecomes de falkland vir regi merito charus , ex intimis ejus conciliis , & fidelitate clarus ; musarum militumque patronus , vir pius & virtute plenus , en jacet hic intempestive sepultus : qui apud praelium juxta nuebery vulneribus transfixus , in regis causa ( rege teste ) ●ecidit invictus , anno domini . an elegy upon the truly honorable sir charles cavendish . vve won thee gainsborough , but with thee lost more then thou wert worth , or all we got before . there noble he●ne , marcham , and beeton fell . ( men whom their armies could not paralell . ) there candish fell , a man whose very name , like ziscus drumme , struck terror where it came . a man whose vertues justified his blood , and prov'd his own of cavendish's as good , as that of bruces , both did run in 's veines , and in his actions , men might read both streynes . who knew him , knew there never lived a creature of a more noble sweet engaging nature ; yet to his daring nothing was a task , should he his courage , not his reason ask : his errour was still where he had command , in action he would have too deep a hand . so by his own example , thought to make the too reserv'd , their cautious feares forsake : and so too farre engag'd brave candish fell , a man whom both the nations lov'd so well : as t' was with homer in the grecian story , both nations claime an interest in his glory ; where ere the sun is by his journeys known , as his companion , there we candish own . hence we derive and prove his title good , the scots derive him from great bruces blood . although the scots in competition are with us for bruces blood , we have our share in him , as well as they : from subjects we , they from their kings derive his pedigree . but as for candish we derive a claime , as just as their 's both in his blood and name . hic jacet carolus cavendish vere miles , gulielmi secundi devoniae comitis filius , & tertii frater , qui sub illustrissimo gulielmo cavendish novi cast● : comitis , nec non marthiniae , equitum cohortium praefectus , insolita magnanimitate equitum rebellantium cohortem caedens , heu cecidit invictus . an elegy upon his noble friends and allies the earle of chesterfields sonnes . brave stanhops you have really made it good , you are discended from true royall blood : few fathers have in this kinde been more crost , but fewer could so gallant sonnes have lost . but th' are not lost , who suffer in this cause , if we respect , or god's , or humane lawes : did christ to caesar tribute money pay ( the badge of conquest ? ) what can subjects say ? would he submit himselfe to caesars law , who was a king ? must not his subjects draw ? you paid your caesars tribute , in such blood , that i dare say , few subjects have so good : you drew your sword for caesar , and you tri'd your fathers right ( which cannot be deni'd . ) who is 't hath done the cause more right , then they ? and none could die more nobly for the way : there are but few to whom the king owes more , ( except the duke ) look through the royall score , then unto you ; he hath lost more then you , three of the royall blood , and you but two . your sonnes have such a stock of honour wonne , they have enrich the blood of huntington : what they had purchas'd , they on yours bestowed , and bravely paid to nature , what they owed . pernobilis philippi chesterfeldiae comitis , & clarissimae conjugis ejus , regali stemate huntingtoniae comitis filiae , filii en jacent hic qui sanguinem sanguine sublimarunt , & morte etiam illustri ditarunt . upon the right worshipfull and my valiant countreyman sir richard hutton knight . divide the world ▪ twixt peace and warre , and these two have a glorious share ; this for them both i le boldly say , there 's none can go a nobler way . what honour can be due to either , must needs be due to both together . the one a judge , of whom we must confesse , his epithet , the iust : the other , his renowned sonne , who hath farre greater justice done , that to his conscience bravely stood , this seal'd his loyalty with blood . our groanes are but like wombes of earth , which labour in a second birth , when all the world shall be calcin'd these shall appear like gold refin'd : our saviour shall his mintage own , stampt with the miter and the crown , for this badge all his saints shall weare , who in this cause have suffered here . hic jacet richardus hutton , miles praenobilis , iustissimique patris ejusdem nominis filius togatus : prior , ban● obiit senectute , famâ foelix , patriae charus , & in pace : marti dicatus alter , regi fidelis ; apud praelium juxta sherburne , in patria propria ; nec minus patriae quam regi charus , in regis causa , bello ( heu sed civili ) cecidit . upon the truly noble and valiant sir bevell greenfield knight . i lov'd thee dearly brother i confesse ; and shall i now begin to love thee lesse ? thy death was truly noble , as thy blood ; had not this beene so , that had made it good . thy grandsire had a noble spanish grave , and to thy name , a stock of honour gave . were our chronology lost , spaine for her glory , will in her annals write thy grandsires story : we must confesse , a gallant man we lost , but let spaine speak , how deare the victory cost . i' have heard the donnes themselves confesse it here , they scarce would buy a navie now so deare . neptunes in 's bounds ▪ near saw a bloodier fight , he never fear'd so much , to loose his right . the proverb was made true , the sea then burn'd , and all the elements , to fire were turn'd ; the fearefull fishes , fled into the deep ; the unweeldy whale then an even course could keep ▪ with the swift dolphin ; they could not endure that horid fight , nor think themselves secure ; neptunes sea-mantle , was turn'd scarlet then , stain'd with the precious blood of dying men . this was thy gransire ; yet we understand , thy noble death as glorious was by land . for thou hast added to thy grandsires blood , and made that better which before was good . hic jacet dominus benellus greenfield , miles , sanguine clarus , deo & regi fidus , ad aras ; amicis & patriae charus , devoniae gloria , perpetuà dignus historiâ . an elegy upon the honourable his noble friend and countreyman sir william evers . brave evers , men were borne to die we know ; how happy wert thou then , who couldst die so , that when thou didst this troublesome life lay down , thou could'st exchange thy helmet for a crown ; and with the ' xchange , couldst so enrich thy blood , to make that better , was before so good ? thy blood was noble , that we knew before ; but all men must confesse that now 't is more : thy loyall death being added makes it mount , as figures enrich cyphers in accompt . if heavenly souls knew ought of earthly blisse , thy happy soule would then rejoyce in this . few who are now with thee in heaven above , have left behind a greater stock of iove : yet you in stock of loyall honour were thought to be richer then in that by farre : what would a soule have more then he'vens joyes there ▪ and such a stock of love and honour here ? when such a life shall such a death precede , we need no prayers ; nor offerings for the dead . hic jacet gulielmus evers , vitâ , sanguine & fidelitate clarus , qui equitum turmacum praefectus apud hessam juxta eborarum in regis causa cecidit : sic martyrii corona meruit aureola , sed certius à nobis aeterna meruit memoria . a remembrance dedicated to his noble friends and allies , sir thomas metham and sir william wentworth , who were slaine at marston moore neare york . since you two durst so bravely die together , my muse dares not presume such friends to sever . i am no stranger to the noble blood ranne in your vaines ; i know few have so good : yet you have gone the chymists subtile way , and have by death improv'd your blood wee say . chymists the noblest vegetives destroy , before they can their quintessence enjoy . your bloods you two have quintessenced now , we to your memories reverence must allow : you have with honour both your lives laid down , and shall be stiled martyrs for the crown ; and in your graves you shall that honour have , which glorious martyrs merit in the grave . an elegy upon the truly noble and valiant sir john smith . hee who a romane citizen could save from being made prisoner , was by law to have a civick crown , which he might justly beare , as a distinction , and at triumphs weare . so thankfull was wise rome in her reward , and to her citizens had such regard : what honour then , what value , and esteeme , was due to him , the eagles could redeeme . our royall standard at edgehill was lost , at least engag'd , so that much blood it cost . yet this brave man , made him who got it know , what duty subjects to that standard owe . have you e're seen a chafed lyon stand , with hunters vext , and gall'd on every hand : whilst all the hunters various wayes contrive , to take this lyon if they can alive : so gall'd , so vext , our noble champion stood , the english earth dy'd with rebellious blood . whilst none within the lists presumes to enter , least he should pay too deare for his adventure . at last resolv'd , he cuts himselfe a way , not through meane troops , but regiments they say : then straight he doth this welcome present bring , this new redeemed prisoner , to the king ; the king doth both himselfe , and service right , he with that sword had serv'd him , made him knight . would this were written in the hearts of kings , both peace and warre , are manag'd by two things ; 't is punishment , and just rewards that are the weights and ballance , both of peace and warre . from noble houses he , and loyall came , marcham he was by blood , and smith by name . but he made better , what before was good , i meane his loyall name , and noble blood . hic jacet dominus johannes smith sanguine satis nobili natus , qui regis insignia ( etiam capta ) regi , sed non sine caede restituit , fidelis in bello ( heu civili ) dolo cecidit circumventus . an elegy for sir henry spilmam knight . vvhilst thou yet livedst ( spilman ) i honoured thee , i reverence now thy sacred memory ; ther 's none i know hath written heretofore , who hath oblig'd this church , and kingdome more . thou hast deriv'd , nay prov'd our church as high , as rome can boast , and giv'n her pride the lie . thou hast the series of her story shown , so hast o're us her hirarchy o'rethrown . i read thy books , and i admire thy soule , thy daring soule that durst proud rome controule : thou with their own authorities , dost prove that which they would , but never shall remove : thou prov'dst that gregories monke found bishops here durst check his pride , who after martyrs were : who held the rites and customes of the fast , which polycarpus durst approve the best . who twice to rome as an officiall came , to fix that feast , which now we must not name : thou'st prov'd our church as glorious as romes , for doctrine , discipline , and martyrdomes . thou'st prov'd to us the mighty power of kings , in calling councells even in spirituall things ; and temporall rights the churches pedigree , her frequent councels even in brittany ; as a choyce piece of evidence a story which we may stile great brittaines chiefest glory , the brittish church , our kings owe this to thee ; shall we not reverence then thy memory ? had'st thou been rome's , thy supererogation , had rais'd a stock of merits for our nation . but thou ' art ours , i joy i live to know i had a friend good men shall reverence so . henricus spilmanus eques auratus hic jacet , cujus solertissimae industriae non minus ecclesia debet , quam respublica brittanorum ; namque saxonum nostrorum mores , concilia , leges , etiam amissa nobis restituit . nec in se magis , quam prole faelix : obiit anno salutis . upon his noble friend colonell slanning . here slanning lies who was the second best , brave greenefields rivall vesper of the west ; as pompey was to caesar , so would he , none should his equall but a caesar bee : for when he heard how bravely greenfield fell , he would not over-live his paralell ; but covetous of as brave a death as he , he crowned his with glorious loyaltie : of all the west the king had no two friends more really his , more glorious in their ends . an elegy for my dear godson and nephew henry morton , sonne to my good brother sir george morton baronet . have you observ'd a cedar wonderous straight ? admired for its freshnesse , youth and heigth ; cut down before it came to its full growth , such the proportions were of this sweet youth : and such his fortune , loyall to the crowne , scarce writing man ( though man enough ) cut down . i must confesse ( brave youth ) thou hast made good my share both in thy name , and loyall blood ; the first i gave thee ( that 's thy name ) the other thy blood , my sister was thy vertuous mother : a mother worthy of so brave a sonne ; if heavenly soules know what on earth is done , her 's would rejoyce , that thou could'st so improve so small a stock of time to purchasse love : and die so rich in that and reputation , thou wert an honour to thy blood and nation . all this in noble morton was ; lies here a name will force from every eye a teare , nay , from the souldiers heart knowes not to weep . yet know he is not dead , he doth but sleep . as souldiers being alarum'd rub their eyes , so when the trump shall blow , morton must rise , not to a battell ( there no more shall be ; ) but to triumphant glorious victory . the crown of glory ( such as martyrs there are crowned with ) shall loyall morton weare . an elegy upon my honoured friends and countreymen the valiant collonels howard , heron , fenwick , lumpton , claverin , and carnaby . first high born howard to heron led the way , fenwick and lampton , both fell on one day : brave claverin's heart was burst with griefe that he , without revenge should their survivor be : the next to these stout carnaby he fell , to make the number a just paralell . six braver men then these the fruitfull north , of martiall spirits , in one age near brought forth : if we may nature check without offence , shee was too prodigall in her expence : six such brave men to be borne in one age and fall so soone must some sad fate presage . had these six liv'd , the king had had no need t' have rais'd the south-parts , to make good the tweede . these six i dare say had secur'd it more , then rome did with her legions heretofore . had claverin liv'd t'have been their generall , h'had more secur'd the north-parts then that wall severus rais'd so high , had it still stood , the presence of these six had been as good : but those same sinnes which cut of these , i feare will make the passes over trent as cleare : our sinnes have brought in strangers heretofore , ( as friends proud conquerours ) and may do once more . an elegy upon the right honourable the countesse of dorset . dorset is dead , even she who could support unenvied power ; and honour in a court : who by a wise king was plac'd there to be , the tutresse of his royall progeny . shee for the mirrour of the court might passe , who ever lookt vertue reflected was . this glasse was wrought and polisht with that skill , that would reflect still truth , but nothing ill ; she by sweet gravity reproved youth , as god does lying , by his stedfast truth ; high close committee proofe her vertues were , a spanish inquisition she could beare . should both the houses joyn , should they advance that powerfull engine cald their ordinance , and rayse a battery , i dare undertake , it scarcely would the least impression make into her honour ; for her vertues were above the proofe of that strange engine farre . no pen is so malignant , will not write , the vertuous lady , was her epithite . hic jacet comitissa dorsetiae , animae , corporis , & fortunae dotibus clara ; marito chara , & mundo : pro liberis provida , nec minus suis benigna , filiis foelix , fama foelici●r , sed fide foelicissima : sic vixit etiam in aula ut aulic●s vivere , principes mori doceat . in this mean grave which scarce appeares , a lady lies , embalmd in teares . that you may know these teares to prize , they were distild from princes eyes . committed to this ladies care , who in the losse had greatest share . poore princes you have lost much more then you could value heretofore . your father stranger to his crowne , scarce to his own deare children knowne : nay , which is worse then this , you are deprived of your mothers care . what loyall heart reads what 's writ here , can chuse but sacrifice a teare ; i must confesse when this i writ , with loyall teares i watered it , to think how glorious i have seen my royall soveraign and his queen ; and to think how some now endeavour these two whom heaven hath joynd , to sever ; t is heavens decree , it must be so , this is our faith , and this we know ; they both are pious , god is just , the cause is his , and there 's my trust . vpon francis quarles . i must confesse that i am one of those admire a fancy more in verse then prose ; yet thou in both workst on my judgement so , i scarce know which to choose , which to let go , as if platonick transmigrations were , the harp of david still me thinks i heare . thy powerfull muse hath so strong influence , vpon my troubled soule , and every sense : for when thou solomons mystick strayns dost sing , thy muse then speaks the language of that king . and when thou undertakst the kings just cause , thy strength is such ; thy reasons binde like lawes . this doth thy reason and thy loyalty prayse , that crowns thy statues with eternall bayes : thy muse hath raisd , a monument for thee , thy prose a pyramid of loyalty . thy memory shall be precious here below , whilst men the use of sacred learning know . thy soule is with thy deare beloved kings , and there with them new halelujahs sings . upon a true contented prisoner . vvhat 's liberty it should be so desir'd ; 't is only when deni'd to men , admir'd : w' are more displeased with the least negative , than pleas'd with all that god to man can give . we are scarcely pleasd with gods great'st blessings , health and liberty , unlesse god give us wealth . a little tooth-ach , a fit of the stone , or gowt , destroys them ; and all these are gone : we are imprisoned in our beds and then , we wish the use of these good things agen . yet whilst we had them , we scarce knew their good , they were heav'ns blessings , but scarce understood . the wretched slave is chaind unto his oare , now prizes that , he valued not before , his liberty ; yet may be in that state , he is more happy then he was of late in all these blessings free men could enjoy ; for their abuse , doth all their use destroy : if want of these a thankfulnesse produce for blessings , which we had not in their use : are we not then more happy in their losse , ( had we all that lucullus did engrosse ? ) 't is then the use , makes happy men , not having of that we use not well , or still are craving more then we have ; be it or more or lesse , a thankfull state is mans true happinesse . imprisonment , admit it neere so close , is to a wise man but his soules repose ; and the lesse roome he hath , his soul 's more free then when she had her wanton liberty . weak eyes cannot endure the glaring light , of the bright sunne ; nor things which are too white . these doe disperse the radii of the eyes , we better can endure the cloudy skies ; were i immur'd so i could see no sunne , my soule her wing'd horses could out-runne : i could with heaven a correspondence keep , as ionas did close prisoner in the deep . the prophet in the dungeon was in heaven , iohn in the isle had all his visions given : men in the deepest pits , see best by farre the sunnes eclipses ; and finde every starre , when sight 's contracted and is more intent ; ( so is mens soules in close imprisonment , ) we then can upwards look on things above , worthy our contemplation and our love : we are not sunne ▪ blin'd with reflections then , of dazling glory , nor depend on men ; these mediums cannot then the soule deceive , it s in a dungeon can more cleere perceive : and lights most welcome ; then the least is more , when thus contracted , then the sunne before . are we not happyest when we least desire , and nothing that 's below the sunne admire ? when w' are united to our god above ( as wives to absent ▪ husbands whom they love ) by our souls union , when our souls on fire inwardly burning with zeale melt in desire . a nunc dimittis , with old simeon sing , and wish each bell we heare , his knell should ring : and yet not weary of our lives , for then imprisonment is a hell on earth to men . i have sometimes seene an indulgent father make his deare child , rods for himselfe to gather , and then his wanton liberty restraine , nay make him fetters of a slender twine , sharply correct him , make him kisse the rod , tries his obedience : and just thus does god with his deare children , ( if well understood ) wise parents know t is for their childrens good . and know we not , god is more wise by far , and more indulgent then our parents are ? art thou injur'd ? yet take thus much from me , who sent thee thither , knowes what 's best for thee . remember job was for a tryall lent to satan ; how he bore his punishment : god crown'd his patience , for he gave him more ( besides the honour ) then he had before . yet if in this thou lovest thy reward , god will not then thy patience regard . nor paines nor patience the true martyr makes , it is the cause the martyr undertakes . martyrs are witnesses of truth to death ; this is but duty , so falls far beneath the weight of the reward : we dare not say that saints can merit an aureola . for we say when man does , what he is able , come to gods scale , he is unprofitable , our haires are numbred by our god we know , he sets them highest , whom he finds placed low . he in the lyons den , did daniel owne , and set upon his head the favourites crown . art thou imprison'd ? looke up thou shalt find , thou hast a strange enlargment in thy mind . th' are more ingaged far , imprisoned thee ; and shall come to accompt , when thou art free . i. scilicet ut fulvum spectatur in ignibus aurum , tempora sic du●o est inspicienda fides . dum juvat , & vultu ridet fortuna secundo , indelibatas cuncta sequuntur opes : vix duo tresve inter , tot restatis amici cetera fortunae , non me turba fuit . illud amicitiae sanctum , & venerabile nomen , re tibi pro vili sub pedibusque jacet . donec eris faelix , multos numerabis amicos , tempora si ●uerint nubila , solus eris . horrea formici tendunt ad mania nunquam , nullus ad amissas ibit amicus opes . mobile sic sequ tur fortunae legitima vulgus , in duris autem , remanentem rebus amicum callebit inviso caesar in hoste probatur . as gold 's unknowne , by fire not purify'd , so friendship by adversity is try'd . whilst we can help , or fortune seemes to smile , friends follow bounty , as the souldiers spoile . scarce two or three of all my crowds remaine : the rest were fortunes rabble , and not mine . that reverend , sacred name of friendship lyes without regard , as things they most despise . whilst thou art happy , thou some friends mayst count , if the time cloud , thy sunne will scarce amount to cyphers : for these friends like ants will runne to better stoicks , when all thy store is done . the giddy people follow fortunes flowes , t is adverse fortune reall friendship shewes . cesar ever in his greatest foe approves this pious friendship , and this vertue loves . ii. de ape . martial . lib. . . inclusa electro . et latet & lucet , phaetontida conditu gutta , ut videatur apis nectare clausa suo . dignum tantorum pretium , tulit ille laborum ; credibile est ipsum sic voluisse mori . hid , yet transparent , in an amber drop , as if inclos'd whilst she did nectar sup , t is like enough , the bee chose so to dye , her paines cast in , might raise her price so high . iii. de formica . martial . lib. . . dum phaetontea formica vagatur in umbra , implicuit tenuem , succina guttu feram . sic modo quae fuit contemptu vita manente , funeribus facta est , jam preciosa suis . the sun-bred ant , being travelling in the shade , an amber drop the slender creature staid . so she , who living , was despis'd of late , being thus embalm'd , becomes a jemme of state . iv. martial . de vipera . flentibus heliadmi ramis , dum vipera serpsit , fluxit in instanti , viperafera gemam . quae dum miratur , pingi se rore teneri , riguit ; obstante factu repente gelu . metetam nobili placeas cleopatra sepulchro , vipera si tumulo nobiliore jacet . a viper creeping up an amber stemme , the weeping heliads turn'd her to a jemme : whilst she admires to find her selfe thus held , she instantly was in that ice congeal'd . why should that rich tombe cleopatra please , since vipers have such noble tombes as these ? v. — o prodiga rerum luxuries , nunquam parvo contenta paratu , sed quaesitorum terrae , pelagique ciborum , ambitiosa fames , & lautae gloria mensae , discite , quam parvo , liceat producere vitam , et quantum natura petit . — non auro myrrhâve bibunt , sed gurgite pure populis satis est , fluviusque ceresque . our prodigall ryot will not be content with mean provisions , caterers must be sent to search both sea and land ; and scarce are able to serve th'ambitious hunger of one table . learne with how small allowance , man may live ; nature doth no such vast allowance give . the people drinke brooke water , cleere , and cold , not perfum'd wines with myrrhe in cups of gold : of wholesome bread , let them but have good store , and cleere brooke water , they desire no more . vi . de archmedis sphera . jupiter in parvo cum cerneret aethera vitro , risit , & ad superos talia dicta dedit : huccine monopolis progressa potentia cura , jam mens in parvo triditur orbe labor . jura poli , rerumque fidem , legemque deorum , ecce syracusus , transtulit arte senex . percurrit totum mentibus signifera annum , et simulatu nova cinthia , mense redit . jamque suum voluens , audax industria mundum , gaudet , & humana sidera mente regit . ergo quid insontem , tonitru , salmonea miror , emula natura , parva repertu manus . jove when in glasse he saw a spheare was made , he smild , and this unto the gods he said ; of man we need to take no further care , they jeere our paynes , they now such artists are : old archimedes undertakes our trade , he in a spheare , hath all heavens motions made . in which a spirit included , seemes to move , the severall orbs , and stars , like those above . a sun runs through the . signs , makes the yeere , cynthia , with all her aspects , doth appeare . the rapid motion men dare undertake , to rule their stars too ; since they heaven can make . why should we vex at salmons guiltles thunder , since emulous man , hath framed a greater wonder ? vii . de remora , piscicula . solus ego actiacum potui retinere carinam , et potui baii rostra tenere duci● semipedalis ego , quis haec corpuscula cr●dat , in ▪ cursu tantas detinuisse naves . cesar for actium bound , even i alone , could stay ; when with his fleet he would be gone . my length but halfe a foote , my body small , how could i stay ships , under sayle so tall ? viii . de flamma perenni inventa in urna apud patavium , qua fracta extincta fuit flamma . plutoni sacrum munus ne attingite fures , ignotum vobis est , hoc , quod in orbe latet . namque elementa gravi clausit , digesta labore , vase sub hoc modico maximus olibius . this sacred gift to pluto i forbid your theeves to touch , ( for t is a secret hid ) with art and paines hath great olibius shut in this small urne , th'unruly elements up . ix . de vicissitudine rerum . pauperies , pacem ; pax , opes ; copia , luxum ; sed luxus bellum , bellaque pauperiem . pauperies turbam causat , turbaque quietem , stant qui deciderent , quique stetere cadunt . captivi capiunt , & qui domuere domantur , jam victi suplex , qui modo victor erat . sic plebae ●ndomitae , sic sunt sua fata tyrannis , sic deus alternas versat in orbe vices . our poverty makes peace ; peace , wealth and ryot ; riot makes war ; war makes us poore and qui et : our wants breed troubles ; after troubles , rest : they fall , who stood ; those lately fell , stand best . the prisoners take those captives , them even now the conqueror late , must to new conquerors bow . so god disposes of all earthly states , kings , and wild commons , take by turnes their fates . x. de ethiope baptizato . ille niger sacris lotus quam exit ab undis , ( nec frustra ) ethiopem nempe lavare fuit . mentem quam niveam , piceae cutis umbra fovebat , jam volet ad nigras sancta columba lares . how white the sun-parcht moor from jordan came to wash the blackmore thus , was not in vaine , so white a soule lives in that pitch-staind cell , the sacred dove in that makes choice to dwell . xi . de quinque panibus , tot mille pascentibus . quis novus agricola , quae nova semina crescit , cum perit , & major fit minuendo ceres . millia tot virum panum sed quinque putasses millia tot panum quinque fuisse virum . who that new seedes , man , or that seede can guesse , which spending , growes , and wasting doth increase , five loaves whereof so many thousands fed , yo'ud think the five were men , the thousands bread . xii . ovidius in ibim . desinit esse prius , contrarius ignibus humor , et tepidus gelidus , flavit ab axe nothus . et ver autumno , brume miscebitur aestas , atque eadem regio vesper , & artus erit . quam mihi sit tecum positis , quae sumpsimus armis . gratia commissis improbe ruptatuis . pax erit haec nobis semper dum vita manebit ▪ cum pecore infirmo , qua solet esse lupis . terra tibi fruges , amnis tibi deneget undas , deneget a●flatus ventus , & aura su●s . nec tibi sol calidus , nec sit tibi lucida phoebe : destituant oc●los , sydera clara tu●s . nec tibi vulcanus , nec se tibi praebeat ●er : nec tibi det tellus , nec tibi pontus iter . exul inops erres , alienaque limina lustres , exiguumque pet●s ore tremente cibum . nec corpus querulo , nec mens vacet aegra dolore , moxque die gravior sit tibi nocte dies . sisque miser semper , nec ●is miserabilis ulli : gaudeat adversis faemina virque tuis . qui mala cum tuleris plurima , plura feras . causaque non desit , desit tibi copia mortis , optatam fugiat vita coacta necem . luctatusque diu cruciatos spiritus artus deserat , & longa torqueat a●te ●ora . my translation transferred in wishes , to him , deserted and betrayed cesars cause , and his comrade in adversity . first fire and water shall to friendship grow , and from the north-pole warm south-winds shall blow , the spring shall change to autumne , snow shall burn , the easterne regions shall to westerne turne sooner then i friendship renew with thee , once my comrade , forsook thy arms and me . such peace shall henceforth betwixt thee and me , as wont betwixt the wolfe and lambe to be . may brooks their waters , earth her fruits deny , nor wind , nor aire , thee with their breath supply ; may not the sun lend heat , nor moone shine cleare ; may never a star by night to thee appeare . may fire and ayre grow concreat as the glasse ; may sea and land refuse to give thee passe . all tatter'd maist thou goe from doore to doore , and beg thy bread amongst the wretched poore . may nere thy soule or body want their griefe ; may dayes give thee no ease , nor nights reliefe . maist thou most wretched be pityed by none ; may they rejoyce , who should thy state bemoane . may all thy evils still increase and grow ; maist thou desire to die , and no meanes know . may thy strong heart strive with thy will to die ; as in the rack maist thou in sicknesse lye . like those that dye by piece-meale , or slow fire , maist thou both feare to die , and death desire . xiii . a paraphrase upon the verses which famianus strada made of the lutanist and philomell in contestation , pag. . jam sol , &c. when past the middle orbe the parching sun had downward nearer our horizon run , a lutenist neare tibers streames had found where the eccho did resound . under a holme a shady bower he made to ease his cares , his severall phancies playd , the philomell no sooner did the musicke hear , but straight wayes she drew neare . the harmlesse syren musicke of the wood hid in a leavy bush , she hearking stood , she ruminates upon the ayers he plaid , and to him answers made . with her shirl voyce doth all his paines requi●● . lost not one note ; but to his play sung right , well pleased to heare her skil , and envy , he tryes his variety . and dares her with his severall notes , runs throw even all the strains his skill could reach unto : a thousand wayes he tryes , she answers all , and for new straynes dares call . he could not touch a string in such a straine , to which she warble and not sung it plaine ; his fingers could not reach to greater choice , then she did with her voyce . the lutenist admir'd her narrow throat could reach so high , or fall to any note : but that which he did thinke in her most strange , she instantly could change . or sharpe , or ●lat , or meane , or quicke , or slow , whar ere he plaid , she the like skill would show : and if he inward did his notes recall , she answer made to all . th'inraged lutenist he blusht for shame , that he could not this weake corrivall tame , if thou canst answer this i 'le breake my lute , and yeild in the dispute . he said no more but aimes at such a height of skill he thought she could not imitate : he shows the utmost cunning of his hand and all he could command . he tryes his strength , his active fingers flye to every string , and stop , now low , now high , and higher yet he multiplyes his skill , then doth his chorus fill . then he expecting stands to try if she his envy late would yeeld the victory , she would not yeeld , but summons all her force though tyred out and hoarse . she strives with various strings the lutes bast chest , the spirit of man , one narrow throat and chest : unequal matches , yet she 's pleasd that she concludes victoriously . her spirit was such , she would not live to heare the lutenist bestow on her a jeere , but broken hearted fell upon the tombe she choose the sweet lutes wombe . the warbling lutes doe yet their triumphs tell , ( with mournfull accents ) of the philomell , and have usurpt the title ever since of harmony the prince . the morall this , by emulation wee may much improve both art , and industry ; though she deserve the name of philomell , yet men must her excell . comparison . coblers are call'd translators , so are we , ( and may be well call'd so ) we so agree : they rip the soale first from the upper leather , then steepe , then stretch , then patch up all together . we rip , we steep , we stretch , and take great paines , they with their fingers worke , we with our braines . they trade in old shooes , as we doe in feet , to make the fancy , and the language meete . we make all smooth ( as they doe ) and take care , what is too short , to patch : too large , to pare : when they have done , then to the club they goe , and spend their gettings , doe not we doe so ? coblers are often poore , yet merrie blades , translators rarely rich , yet cheerefull lads . who thinkes he wants , he is in plentie poore , give me the coblers wealth , i le aske no more . finis . notes, typically marginal, from the original text notes for div a e- ziba of sauls tribe . shimei of sauls tribe ▪ a strange metamorphosis of man, transformed into a vvildernesse deciphered in characters. approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; 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(eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : ) a strange metamorphosis of man, transformed into a vvildernesse deciphered in characters. brathwaite, richard, ?- , attributed name. [ ] p. printed by thomas harper, and are to be sold by lawrence chapman at his shop in holborne, london : . sometimes attributed to richard brathwait. signatures: a⁶ b-i¹² (-a ). the last two leaves are blank. running title reads: characters. reproduction of the original in the henry e. huntington library and art gallery. created by converting tcp files to tei p using tcp tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between and available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the , texts created during phase of the project have been released into the public domain as of january . anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. % (or pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf- unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p , characters represented either as utf- unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng characters and characteristics -- early works to . nature -- early works to . - tcp assigned for keying and markup - spi global keyed and coded from proquest page images - judith siefring sampled and proofread - judith siefring text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion a strange metamorphosis of man , transformed into a vvildernesse . deciphered in characters . london , printed by thomas harper , and are to be sold by lawrence chapman at his shop in holborne . . the preface to the reader . the world is a wildernesse , man apilgrime lost in the desert ; or rather man is the desert , not to be found , but in the wildernesse . a desert who leaving the path of rectitude , hath plunged himselfe into the thicket of worldly appetites ; to seeke him in the citie were in vaine , who leaving ierusalem , entred into the desert the way of iericho . to finde him then , we must leave the citie , and seeke him in the wildernesse . where behold a strange metamorphosis ! wee finde him not in his owne similitude , but like vlissis crew , transformed into the shape of everie thing we meete with . we then take him as we finde him , and deliver you his character in those borrowed shapes , not to put him to the blush . but lest of a wildernesse of things , i make a wildernesse of words , and loose my selfe in my owne wildernesse : or labouring in a maze as pasiphae in a strange metamorphosis of man , transformed into a wildernesse . . the lyon king of beasts is a right tyrant among beasts , nature it seemes hath made him for terror , for when he roares his subiects tremble at his voyce . instead of ermins like hercules hee weares a lyons skinne ; which robe though hee had not on yet would he be knowne by his clawes . he is alwayes seene in his parliament robes , but carries up his owne traine himselfe . he hath an antipathy with the cocke , especially of the game . one reason is , because he sees him commonly with his crowne on his head , while princes commonly are iealous of each other . some say because he presumes to come into his presence booted & spur'd , contrary to the law in court. but i thinke rather because hee meetes with a lyons heart in so weake a body . he is of a generous & noble dispositiō , offend him not , & he is a lambe , touch him never so little , and hee is a lyon right : he is exceeding iealous of his lionesse especially of the parde ; not without good cause , since they often meet by stealth , and he inforced ful sore against his will to father the leopard though a bastard , and none of his . he is so hot of nature that he is never without a burning feaver , but is faine to recover himselfe ; for in his raging fits , no one of his physitians dares approach to feele his pulse . he dreads the fire hee sees without , because he feeles so great a heat within , which euen glowes againe at the windowes of his eyes . his children are no crying puppies , but whelpes rather , that come at last to be roaring boyes ; yet they cannot a letter of the booke , not so much as the christ-crosse row. onely in the greeke alphabet their memorie serues but to carry away the last letter ( 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ) which they will tone foorth with such a throat as no cryer in westminster-hall can put you forth such a one . and no maruell they can reade no better , since they hate the vowels ; the a because it is too childish , the e too feminine , the i stands not with their maiestie , for the o they are too stout to blinch or say oh at any thing , and for the v they hold it rusticitie . if hee chance to flye out at any time or be unruly , whereas mad-men are put into bedlam , rogues into bridwell , beggers into the stocks , night-walkers into the counter , he for his nobilitie is clapt into the tower , where he is never like to come forth , till instead of stripping his collar , he be stript of his skin . . the squirill is that nimble reueller of the forrest who is alwaies set vpon a merrie pin . it is the innocencie of his gentle breast , that makes his heart so light , and the bodie so naturally actiue . he keepes holiday euerie day , and is neuer without his pumps on , to be readie to dance . for he will daunce you beyond measure , and yet be neuer out of his dance . he is verie desperate in his tricks , so that if he chance to fall , he ventures his necke , life , and all . he is no carpet-knight that danceth on strewed tapestries , for he will daunce upon a tree without any musicke , but this in the forrest onely , for in the citie he hath another manner with him , where it is ridiculous to daunce without musicke , and therefore gets him a dauncing schoole with a chime of little bels at least . he is a foure-footed bird that is kept in a cage , not to sing , for hee hath no voice that is worth the hearing , but to dance onely . one would wonder to see him so well breathed who will hold out so long and yet not be tyred , especially considering the diet he uses being commonly nuts , so apt with us to breed obstructions , and the tisicke . with an apple and a nut or two hee will make himselfe not onely an handsome collation but a royall feast . it is verie strange what teeth the thiefe hath , for he wil pare you a wallnut as bigge as his head , much sooner than we an apple , yea and devoure the kernell and all ere you would imagine . he hath a good face , and he knowes it well , & some beautie withall , whereof he is exceeding choice and tender , while hee never goes especially in the sun , but he carries his vmbrella about him , which serves him likewise for a cloake in a showre of raine . hee that should marke him well , would thinke him a puppet made in fashion of a squiril , that by engines were made so to mount up and downe , and that either he had no ioynt at all , or all were nothing else but ioynts , for he moves not his head so much as his whole bodie when hee moves . hee is very neat , for hee washes his face at every bit he eats , & should be a iew in that , but in other things hath no religion in him at all . in a word , i told him to have a good nature with him , and a pretty wit , & though hee seeme to have a cunning head , yet stayed enough from any debauchments . . the bramble is that little great competitour of regall dignitie upon trees , who carried it away from the rest . he is the right agathocles raised from dust to supreme authoritie , to weild the scepter in our wildernesse of plants . the dionisius tyrant of sicilie , who rules rather with the prickie thornes of severitie , than with the roses and sweets of lenitie . had he the muskes of the eglantine to temper his thornes , his empire would be more tolerable . it is a tree indeed without a trunke , a trunke without boughes , boughes fuller of prickes than leaves , of leaves than fruits . he proclaimes his shadow to be a protection to all ; but who is hee would chuse such a harbour to pay for his lodging with a scracht face ? to retaine the maiestie of a prince he hath alwayes a corps-de guard about him , armed with holbe●ts never from his side . he is greedie and having , because tenacious and a notable griper of all who have any thing to do with him : and for his fees ( as he calls them ) he will pull the cloathes from your backe by hooke or crooke . it is a woodden saw full of teeth , which needs no whetting , as being alwayes on edge , but without handles , because not to bee handled , yet yeelds no dust as it goes , like other sawes , but in lieu thereof makes the bloud to follow . he is a schoolemaster right , who is never without a sharpe rod in his hand , and his schollars are certaine blacke boyes that board in his house . he is as good as a sergeant at mace , for if he catch a debter by the cloake as he goes along , he would make him beleeve he were arrested , and looking backe to bee readie to aske at whose suite . howsoever hee is a right catch pole , that will go neare to catch one by the pole indeed . he is no swearer , but will rend and teare like an arrant turk . in fine , being of the familie of the bushes , he is raised to have a place in the moone ; for if it bee true that there is a man in the moone with his dogge , he is not without his bush with him which is our bramble . . the stagge is a stately beast to behold , you would say he were some coriphaeus of the lyons court. he is tall enough of stature of himselfe , but affects a portlinesse so much , that as others helpe themselves with corkes and cheppeens , hee hath his stilts upon his head , to make him seeme much higher then he is . his coat is faire and beautifull , powdered here and there with certaine spots which make a handsome shew , and were it not his owne , would be thought a rich weare , and little inferiour to the martin furrs or the ermins of russia . he hath long and slender legges , like a redshanke , or irish kern , which makes him so tall a footman as he is . he hath foure of them , or else it were impossible so great a bulke could be held up by so weake pillars . hee flies like a parthian archer , with his face turned backwards , not to shoote his enemies , but to shew them a faire paire of heels . before he fights he whets his horne , as a mower doth his sithe , but uses them rather as a pitchforke in harvest to tosse the hounds with , like hey-cocks in the meadowes . hee is much delighted with musicke , i may say much taken with it , for he is often caught of the hunters by that meanes ; as the horse by his teeth is knowne how old he is , if the marke be not out of his mouth ; so hee by his hornes , if he have not cast them in some bush . the heralds call his hornes his thiara or dresse , and say hee is not fully attired till he have them absolute and compleate : this i am sure of , that when they have them not on , they are ashamed , and hide themselves , as maids that are unreadie . hence it is perhaps that tyers and hornes are held synonimas . hee is very constant in his fashion , for he changes his attire but once a yeare , and then never al●ers it a whit . hee beares his yeares very well , as one that takes no care , while all the care and paine is rather had how to take him . when he is hunted by a prince , he is ever after termed a hart. in fine , had he but valour to his strength , and not such wings at his feet , i see not why but for his goodly head hee might make a noble standard in our wildernesse . the golden myne is the basiliske of metals , for the regall crowne he weares upon his head . nature it seems hath layd him out of sight in the bowels of the earth for feare of killing with his lookes . it is either the sulphure it selfe or the boyling froth of hell , and eternall flames , it is the selfe same colour , and the cause of so many damnable actions . it is now through wantonnes made potable , and for its sake wee swallow all things . and if they could , i verily think they would have it respirable , which they do pretty well , when they can breathe and speake of nothing else . he is the orpheus who with his lookes only , without setting his hand to the lyre , enchants and ravishes the most savadge of our wildernesse . he hath a key that opens all locks , will prostitute widdowes , and corrupt virgins . hee will enter into all mens counsels , yea , insinuates himselfe into princes cabinets . it is the sunne that dispels all clouds of melancholy from the heart , and makes one , of a saturne a iupiter , because joviall . hee is capable but of two sinnes , basenesse and levity , which in him are held for mortall . he loves not to bee cut or barbed , nor washed in his trimming , for thereby he loses much of credit and estimation with men . hee is very charitable , for he will waste and spend himselfe and substance to make a sick man well , or to comfort his heart . he hath no good voyce , but a kinde of hoarsenesse with him , which yet is twenty times more gracefull than the best musick the silver makes . hee seemes to have the yellow iaundies , it is but his naturall complexion , which in the eyes of men makes him the more amiable , nor have ever heard him to bee thrust into the pesthouse for his looke : if he looke pale now and then , it is for feare of falling in th● coyners or clipper● hands , his chiefest ene●mies . hee feares no● theeves so much as vsu●rers , while the first giv● him liberty , and let him go currant where he will the other thrust him up in some hole or dun●geon , where hee sees no light . though hee bee heavy in himselfe , yet is hee lighter and fitter for travell than silver is : in fine hee is good if not abused . . the hedgehog is a right vrchin and a peevish elfe , that cannot bee medled with at no hand . he is a whole fort in himselfe , hee the governor , his skin the wals , his prickles the corpes de guard . he is very jealous and suspitious by nature , so that he never takes his rest , till hee have set the watch . he hath a draw-bridge to collect himselfe with at his pleasure , especially when he stands upon his guard , so as it were impossible to make any breach into him . hee is a great enemy to the winds , principally the north and south ; and therefore having but two gates to the city where he keepes his hold , hee hath barricadoes for them both to shut them out . there are two sorts of them , one for land , who never put to sea , the other seafaring men , that never come to land : who as they differ in trade of life , so do their manners : yet both are weather wise alike , and both crafty enough it seemes to provide for themselves . for if the one have his fort , the other his ship to trust to : and if the one keepe out the wind at his doores , the other in a storme will stick to his tackling , and take in stones for his ballice , or if need bee , cleave to an anchor ; and therefore should be politick as they all likely are , who are so . hee is all comb , though not to kemb with , which hath no teeth but to mischiefe with , and therefore is no friend from the teeth outward , while every tooth is a very sting . he is but a milksop yet , and a very suckling , who will hang on the speens of every cow , which therefore makes him cry so like a child . he cannot brag much of his gentry , whose father was a boare , his mother a sow , himselfe a pigge , and all begot under a hedge . if there bee any such place as hoggs norton is , where piggs play on the organs , it is surely with them ; who have such a squeeking cry with their wind instruments . what his flesh is to eat , i know not , but i should think , hee that should eat him whole , were as good have a burre in his throat . they say his flesh is as good and as tender as a rabbet , but this i am sure , their furre is nothing neere so gentle . as the fox hath his hole , so hath he his bush , from whence there is no getting him forth , till he be fired out . hee is no great medler himselfe , nor loves to bee medled with , nor any that is wise , i think , will teyze with him , who knowes how touchy hee is . for my part , if i stumble not on him , i will have nothing to do with him . . the pike is the pirat of the lake , that roves and preyes upon the little fishermen of that sea , who is so covetous and cruell , that he gives no quarter to any ; when hee takes his prize , hee goes not to the shore to make his market , but greedily devoures it himselfe ; yea , is such a cormorant , that hee will not stay the dressing of it . he is called the wolfe of the water , but is indeed a monster of nature ; for the wolfe spares his kinde , but hee will devoure his owne nephewes ere they come to full growth . he is very gallant in apparrell , and seemes to affect to go rather in silver than in gold , wherein he spares for no cost ▪ for his habit is all layd with silver plate downe to the foot in scallop wise . hee is a right man of warre , and is so slender built , and drawes so little water , as hee will land at pleasure , and take his prey where he list , no shallop shall follow where hee will lead . the pikes themselves are the taller ships , the pickerels , of a middle sort , and the iacks , the pinnaces amongst them , which are all armed according to their burden . the the master or pilot sits at the prore , yet hath the rudder so at command , that hee can winde and turne the vessell which way he will , in the twinckling of an eye . he sets up but little sayles , because he would not bee discovered who he is , yea many times no sayle at all , but trusts to the finnes , his oares . the youthfuller sorts of pikes , whom through familiarity they call iacks , are notable laddes indeed , and so their strength and bignesse will fish as their fathers 〈◊〉 . in a word , a man would easily bee mistaken in him in beholding him so handsome and gentle a creature , and never imagin him to bee halfe so ravenous as he is ; but fronti nulla fides . . the rock is the huge and vast whale in the sea of the desert , which spouts his water by the springs that shout from him ; and in the time of tempests , by his open jawes receives the amazed beasts as ionas into his belly , and so shelters them till the storme blow over . hee is so unweildy and stiffe in all his joynts , as he never moves but in earthquakes , and then rocks like himselfe . it is the pallace of the king of beasts , where hee keepes his court , well founded , walled , and vaulted over with a stony roofe ; no windowes there , but the open doores or mouth thereof , unlesse you will say the eyes of every creature there , are the glasse windowes , which being within , doe serve them well enough to see with . he is even as old as the world , and hath seene many centuries of yeeres to passe over his head . hee could speake perhaps of the deluge of noah , as it had been but yesterday , were hee well put to it . this i can tell you , that being so long under water , hee still keeps his breath to the end , as well as at the first , and came forth of the waters as fresh as ever . there is no tortoyse could beare so great a load , yea , if the whole world were laid on his back , he would not shrink an inch under it , unlesse the foundation or center should faile . it is well that god and nature hath made him inanimate , for were he sensible as the beasts of the forrests are , and should but walk therein , hee would shoulder every thing out of his place . hee is nothing so bad as those of the sea are , which lie lurking in wait over head and eares to work mischiefe , while this of the wildernesse is very curteous , and doth many good offices for his neighbours , the inhabitants round about him . he is very valiant , for if he have any quarrels with any , hee will never budge a foot from the place hee is in . in fine , though he be a rock , hee is no scandall of offence to any , but a faire example and pattern to us of constancy and perseverance in vertue and a good life . the goat is a right worcestershire man , bred on mauburne hills , which hee takes for an honour , and therefore stands so much upon his tiptoes . he is high fed , but is but leane , because leaving the fat of the earth , he picks his hungrie salets from the bush tops . he is a very churle , who is never good to any til he be dead , for then you may have his skinne , a good commoditie , nor ever comes to any honour till then , when he hath the priviledge to kisse the best mans hand . if hee come from spaine , he is allied to the chiefest houses there , and derives himselfe from that of the corduas , and will be called by no other name . yet howsoever he is but a sloven in his clothes , which hang so like ragges about him as his knees appeare not . it should seeme of himselfe he hath but an ill breath , who is likely never without his perfumes , and is not so neat as hee should bee . hee is very grave as appeares well by his long beard , but not trim'd after the persian manner , with faire mustacho's , while his haire growes all beneath his chinne ; whereof hee is so proud , that if you take him by it , they all take it for a common affront to the illustrious familie of the goats , and wil either hang downe the head , or make it a quarrell . he glories of i know not what , and despiseth the innocencie of the sheepe for his simplicitie , and wanting the garbe of a compleate gallant as he takes himselfe to be . but the great shepherd as the onely king herald of armes , hath decided alreadie which is the better man , and put him on the left hand . while they are kids they are innocent enough , but being elder grow debauched to all lasciviousnesse . they are very amorous , and therefore their milke is cordiall , for love flows from the heart . he is a notable physitian , but deales by restoratives onely , and therein hath excellent medicines many wayes . he should be curst , who hath so harsh a haire which perhaps is the cause he is never trim'd . he is quicke of hearing , but not so quicke as to heare any good of himselfe , for they all crie out upon him , fie , fie , how he stinks ; which he neither regards , nor yet beleeves ; so good a conceit hee hath of himselfe . he hath an excellent eare , and loves musicke beyond measure , but not out of measure , for that would argue he had no eare . but he hath no nose to smell with , that makes his eares so good , quia pluribus intentus : the fawnes and satyrs take it for a grace to put on his dresse , who are no small ones in this wildernesse . nor hath he lived so ill a life on earth , but hee hath deserved to have his place there in the heavens , as well as the rest , where i leave him . . the eccho is the iris of the eare , as the iris is the eccho of the eyes . she is the true camelion of the aire that changes into every colourable sense . the proteus that transformes her selfe to every shape of words . she is the inamourado of the forrest that will be taken with every ones love , and as narcissus with his own beauty , be enamoured with her owne tongue , and take delight to heare her selfe speake . yea she is a thing or nothing , a ratling gossip , a meere babler , a teller of tales . one that hath no substance in her , but is a meere accident , in that she comes suddenly upon you unlooked for . she is of a strange qualitie , who takes delight to affright the ignorant and simple : will play the hobgoblin , the fairie of the woods , least in sight , or wholly out of sight . though shee bee a talker , and full of her tongue , yet she hath no invention with her , nor can contrive any thing of her owne , for she speakes but by heare-say , onely all shee utters , and that upon trust of another , nor can tell you the author , unlesse he discover it himselfe . she hath no memorie at all , and therefore can remember but the last words shee heares , which she will do very faithfully indeed , and not leave you out a tittle . she hath no certaine tone of her owne , but as she is taught , immediately before which she will exactly imitate , if her master bee present , else not , for shee cannot retaine her lessen long , but must instantly recite it , or else shee is no bodie . she will keepe her key well if she sing , and never misse it , if he that is the rector chori , guides the quire , mistake it not . and when shee sings at anytime ; she sings no distinct part from her fellow , or the rest of the parts ; for she hath no skill at all to compose or set a whit , or to runne descant on a ground , but sings the very same the others do . she dares not stand to any thing she saith , but goes her wayes presently , and never yet durst shew her face . she is a very monster and a prodigie of nature , having no body to speake of , at least as small and slender as the ayre , and yet hath a mouth as wide as the valleyes . she hath no proper tongue of her own , but what she borrowes . if the lyon roare , she roares likewise ; if the heyfer lowe , she lowes as loud ; if the wolfe but howle , she howles for company ; yea rather then stand out , she will bray with the verie asse ; but is never better in her q indeed then when she apes the nightingale especially in their fughes , for then you would thinke them both starke madde , while they follow one another so close at the heeles , and yet can never overtake each other . she is a right woman , that can keepe no counsell , and yet will bee readie to intrude her selfe into everie ones counsell , but as soone as shee hath it , out it goes straight , life or death , all is one to her . she were good to make a player of the stage , for she would take her cues excellently well . she is no ciceronian , nor apt for fluent stiles ; but a lipsian right , and fitter for a briefe manner of speech dialogue wise . all her poetry is chiefly in saphicks or iambicks at most , for she cannot abide the examiter or heroical verse , because too long for her . in fine , though shee bee a common speaker and teller of newes ( as i said ) yet makes she a conscience to devise any of her selfe , and therefore would hardly serve to be the secretarie of false fame , but being once broached , let her alone to blaze it abroad through all the wildernesse . . the lake is dian's glasse , or common mirrour of the rest of nimphs , wherewith they dresse themselves . it is a liquid christall , whose ice the crust thereof makes the perfect christal , while the sands in the bottome as the blacke of the mirrour , makes the foile that causeth the reflection . it is more properly a sea , than the sea it selfe , because indeed a true congregation of waters , so gathered into the stonie cesterne of the rocks . he is no flatterer , but a true tell-troth , for he will shew the stagge his braunchy hornes , the asse his prodigious eares , and discover the satyr to bee a beast as he is by his attire . he is very liberall of his liquids to all the forrest , for let them provide meat elsewhere , and hee will finde them drinke enough : exceedingly blessed of god for this his hospitalitie , for though he have given drinke to all our desert from the time of noe , his store is never a whit the lesse . he is verie patient , who will suffer any reasonable burden to be layed on his backe , and beare it ; willingly , if it sink not of it selfe , or bee not perhaps stirred up and set on by the malitious blasts of the calumnious winds : for thē he wil so lash forth with his waves like so many kicks of the heele , that twentie to one he unhorseth whatsoever is on his backe , unlesse such as through a priviledge of nature are so good horsemen as to keepe the saddle and ride it out in spight of aeolus and him . he is not hot , but yet of that qualitie , that he will beare no coa●es , especially if active and lively . as great as hee is , there is no snake shall creepe in at a lesser hole then he ; and like him where he gets but his head in once , with time enough hee will draw his whole bodie after him . he is free to lend what hee hath , as appeares by the sunne who is alwayes borrowing of his store , which he fetches and drawes with his exhalation , but lookes to be repaide againe with interest . he loves to keepe company with the nobler sort , who are truly generous and better then himselfe , and will beare with them , especially the more airy they be , as come from a higher familie . but for the ignobler multitude , as the earth and earthly things , he contemnes thē , and sets them at his foot . he is so pittifull that hee will communicate himselfe to any that stands in need of him , & will even spend and exhaust himselfe to do them good , being never more troubled then when he findes himselfe so limited that he cannot go forth to help his neighbour . he is cold of constitution , and will congeale through feare with the least frost , and then the very boyes may triumph over him , and even ride upon him at their pleasure . he is stable and constant , and not so fleeting as the sea which hath his ebbes and flowes , while being contented with his owne estate , he lives most happy in his solitude , remaining so private in the wildernesse , where like a true hermite he keepes an exact and endlesse silence in his cell assigned him by nature . . the coalepit is the shop of mulciber , or vulcan's forge , where neptune's trident , iove's thunderbolts , and mars his sword and target were first forged . if pluto's treasury be golden mynes in the bowels of the earth , this is his kitchin , seated in his cellars there , or his coalehouse rather , where hee stores his fuell for his rosts . it is the right downe staire-case that from the face of the earth , leades into his pallaces beneath , whose staires are no more than a wicker basket , and a rope , not to hold , but to hang by rather . it is a chimny , whose tunnell casts no smoake , but damps , yet able to make all the chimnies of the world to smoake . it is the peru of newcastle merchants . the havana where they make their randevouz for their black and sable gold . it is the mare mortuum , or black sea , where they dive for pearles , a pearlelike treasure hidden in the scallop of coale , through its inestimable riches . it seems to bee no other mould than ordinary , a little blacker than the richer sort of our best soyle . if the wildernesse bee sicke or distempered with some melancholy , or choler adust ; it is the opening of the veine to let out that coaly and black stuffe , true melancholy indeed : while the anger is the lancet that pierceth it , the buckets the sawcers which receive the corrupt bloud . hee is very charitable , who hath not only an ardent heat and foruour in himselfe , but is euer ready to communicate the same to others , especially if they approach unto him , and bee but conversant and familiar with him : it being not possible for one to keepe him company for any time , and not enflamed , though of iron , or harder hearted than a very stone . he is a right salamander that lives in the fire , but yet for want of fresh company , will even die in the fire it selfe , and , as all things else , at last bee brought to ashes . the truth is , hee is not a master cooke , but a scullion , and therefore meddles no higher than with making the fire only . he is fitter indeed for the kitchin than the parlour , for his ill complexion he gives to others ; especially ladyes , and the finer sort , who therefore casheere him thence , and shut him out for a rude companion . hee is but of meane and base condition , and hath his extraction from the earth only , both by father and mother , whereas seignior charcoale is of a better descent , and comes perhaps from the loynes of stately ash , oak , or beech. hee is good to approach to , but not too neere , for so hee will anger you , and put you into a heat , but if you keepe your distance with him , hee is a very good companion in the winter . and to tell you truth , hee is a good plaine fellow , and an honest blacksmith , and in the forge will take his liquor as well as his master , if hee take not too much . . the beare is a clumzy fisted fellow come from greenland , who goes in a rugge-gown , for the coldnesse of that climate , which here also hee cannot leave off , out of custome . hee is a true savage , who hath no more civility with him than that place can afford him : by his gate you wold take him to bee a right cripple , who goes on his hands , while his forefeet are much shorter than his hinder . hee is no witch though hee border upon lapland , and bee tied to a stake , for hee burnes not there , though he bee hot , and put into a chafe by the mastive dogs . he is pestilence kind where hee takes , for if hee chance to catch a dog in his armes , hee so hugges him , as hee will even breake his back withall . hee is very licorish , which makes him love hony so much , that costs him many a scratcht face by those peevish elfs who have the keeping of it ; but he cares not , so he may lick his lips after it . what his tallents are otherwise , i know not , but i am sure , hee hath good tallons of his owne that take such hold of one ▪ some call them clawes , but they do him wrong , for he cannot flatter . but i should take them for pawes rather , which will make you pause ere you get out of them . if he be a man of warre , he is a tall one , for hee fights high , and is nothing snugge as the bull is , who fights so low ; but high or low , when he fights , he will be sure to roare full loud with his cannon voyce , if hee bee put to it . hee is very unthrum at every thing he goes about , and brings his work but rawly forth , till with the fyling of the tongue with much adoe , he brings them at last to some perfection . he is a good trencherman , for hee will eat soundly at an other mans cost . but if he be at his own finding , hee will dine you sometimes with duke humphrey , and keepe his chamber like one with never a peny in his purse . they have their seniors with them , it should seem , who have their majorities and minorities amongst them : but fall not out about precedence , because in the heavens there is no strife at all ; the truth is , hee would make at least a good groome in the lyons court , especially the porter there , for his grim looke and the habit hee weares . . the mustard-seed seemes to be a thing of nothing . it is even the dwarfe among the rest of seeds ; and yet is a giant if you deale with him . hee is very snappish , for if you meddle with him , he will strait take you by the nose . he is full of his jests , which are so quick and sharpe , as you will not know how to relish them , for they bite shrewdly . hee hath a strange manner with him , while hee will touch you by the tongue , and tickle you in the nose , and so tyrannize upon you , as he will make you put finger in the eye . he is alone but a common souldier , but if they gather together , and make a muster , there is no hoe with them , especially when they take their liquor well , for then they will assault the stoutest man of the guard . poore iohn were but a poore thing , were it not for him , and a ioule of ling , a fit companion for the best mans table , will blush to appeare without his company , when they will never lin calling for him , where is the mustard ? yea , a surloyn of beefe , as surly as he lookes , after he hath bin well soused in a brinish sea , and come safely off with a powder , and be never so well larded within with fat on his sides , yet if he have not this case of pistols by his side , no man will reguard him . hee is hot and firy of nature , which makes him mount up to the brain , as to his proper element , where he keepes such a bustling , as hee turnes all the liquors thence out of the glasse windowes . he is very saucy wheresoever hee comes to any mans table , for he will take upon him to season every dish , so much sometimes as he mars all , till hee take his sugar with him , for then hee hath no fellow . he is but little in himselfe , but growes to be an oak among the rest of herbs ; upon whose boughes , the chanting birds take pleasure to warble out their descants , and who knows whether to the honour of this miracle of seeds . he feares not the muster master so much , who but layes him forth to take view of them and no more , as the mustard maker , who puts him into bridewell , as it were , to pound in a morter . if he be of the right stamp , and a true tewxbury man , he is a cholericke gentleman , and will beare no coales ; but will himselfe strike any man into a heat that takes him into his roofe ; though indeed he will easily bee pacified againe with a crust of bread , and so long i hold him to bee no such perillous companion . . the goose is the trustie centinel of the romane capitol , whom heliogabolus hated and the romanes honoured so much . she hath but a simple looke with her , but hath a great deale more matter in her , then you would take her to have . yet shee hath no good way to bring up her children , for she still keeps them at home shee is so fond of them ; nor ever sends them abroad to see fashions , whereby they prove to bee arrand guls , and know not how to looke a man in the face . she maintains them handsome enough in apparell , if not too richly for her calling , while they go in plush every day , assoone as they come out of their cradle , but of a colour as makes them to bee right guls indeed . there is no deceit in them , but are honest swizers all , as bred in lucerna lake . they hate the laurell , which is the reason they have no poets amongst them ; so as if there be any that seeme to have a smatch in that generous science , he arrives no higher then the stile of a ballet , wherin they have a reasonable facultie ; especially at a wake , when they assemble themselves together at a towne-greene , for then they sing their ballets , and lay out such throats as the countrey fidlers cannot bee heard . they are good pen-men , though no good clarks , but yet excellent scribes , who copie forth all the books that are . but for the gander hee is so curst , and is so full of teeth , that hee even sputters againe , and hath no good utterance with him , and therefore by all scribes is thrust out for a wrangler , being good for nothing but to sweepe houses , which hee will do very neatly ▪ she is good for bed and boord , for bed while there is no feather-bed or pillow likely without her ; & for the boord , there is no feast if she be not there . she is able to furnish a whole table her selfe ; if pudding , pottage , rost , and baked , make but a feast . she is very hot of nature , which makes her bathe so much , and go barefoot , winter and summer . she is no witch or astrologer to divine by the starres , but yet hath a shrewd guesse of rainie weather being as good as an almanack to some that beleeve in her . she hath a great opinion of her owne stature , especially if she be in company of the rest of her neighbours and fellow ghossips the duckes and the hennes at a harvest-feast : for then if she enter into the hall there , as high and wide as the doore is , she will stoop for feare of breaking her head ; and is so full of tongue the while , as she takes up the whole discourse of the table , which makes her so much noted for it : she hath but a hoarse voyce when she sings forth ; because shee straines it so much , whereas if shee would sing but somewhat lower , her voyce perhaps would be more gratefull ; but as it is , i know not a worse . she lisps not when she speakes , but pronounces her s s very perfectly , in so much as she hisses againe , the reason may be , because her organ-pipe is made in forme of an s. in fine , i could wish there were none that had more malice in them . . the horse is a creature made as it were in waxe . when nature first framed him , she took a secret complacence in her worke . he is even her master-peece in irracionall things , borrowing somewhat of all things to set him forth . for example his slicke bay coat , hee tooke from the chesnut , his necke from the rainbow , which perhaps make him rain so wel ; his maine belike he tooke from pegasus , making him a hobbie to make this a compleat gennet , which main he weares so curld , much after the womens fashions now adayes , this i am sure of , howsoever it becomes them : it sets forth our gennet well , his legges , he borrowed of the hart with his swiftnesse , which makes him a true courser indeed . the starres in his forehead hee fetcht from heaven , which will not be much mist , there being so many . the little head he hath , broad breast , fat buttocke , and thicke tayle , are properly his owne ; for he knew not where to get him better . if you tell him of the hornes he wants to make him most compleat , he scornes the motion , and sets them at his heele . he is well shod especially in the upper leather , for as for his soles , they are much at reparation , and often faine to be removed . nature seemes to have spent an apprentiship of yeares to make you such a one , for it is full seven yeares ere hee comes to this perfection , and be fit for the sadle : for then ( as we ) he seemes to come to the yeares of discretion , when he will shew a kinde of rationall judgement with him , and if you set an expert rider on his backe , you shall see how sensiblie they will talke together as master and scholler . when he shall be no sooner mounted and planted in the seat with the reins in one hand , a switch in the other , and speaking with his spurres in the horses flankes , a language he wel understands , but he shall pronce , curvet , and dance the canaries halfe an houre together in compasse of a bushell , and yet still as he thinkes get some ground , shaking the goodly plume on his head with a comely pride . this will our bucephalus do in the lists . but when hee comes abroad into the fields hee will play the countrey gentleman as truly as before the knight in turnament . if the game be up once , and the hounds in chase , you shall see how he will pricke up his eares streight , & tickle at the sport as much as his rider shall , and laugh so loud , that if there be many of them , they will even drowne the rurall harmony of the dogges . when he travels , of all innes he loves best the signe of the silver bell , because likely there he fares best , especially if hee come the first , and get the prize . he carries his eares upright , nor seldome ever lets them fall till they be cropt off , and after that as in despight will never weare them more . his taile is so essentiall to him , that if he loose it once hee is no longer an horse , but ever stiled a curtall . to conclude , he is a blade of vulcans forging , made for mars of the best metall , and the post of fame to carrie her tidings through the world , who if he knew his own strength would shrewdly put for the monarchie of our wildernesse . . the hawk is a noble bird , and if the eagle be royally descended , and of the bloud , hee is one of the peeres of that monarchy , that would put in for the crown , if that line failed . the truth is , he is a companion for a prince , who will not stick sometimes as a favour to take him by the hand , yea ' that hand which every one strives to kisse , will not disdaine to kisse his foot , and bee his footstoole . he is such a courtier , that a clown will commit you a thousand absurdities in his language , but only to speake of him , much lesse know how to demeane himselfe in his presence , and to give him his dues . he is so punctuall and precise in all things , as he hath a peculiar language , as it were , to himselfe , so as hardly hee hath a feather about him , that hath not his proper appellation . there is a world of distinct families sprung from the ancient stock of the hawkes , while there are no yeomen amongst them , being all daintily bred . the femals , which are the wives with them , do weare the breeches , the males having yeelded up the right of superiority to them , as being the true amazons of that species . they are chast and loyall enough to their mates , nor will easily stain the marriage bed ; but the male is fain to play the cocquain at home to look to the house , while the goodwife her selfe will go to the market to seeke provision , or hunt for the purpose . they go in severall habits , some with long sleeves , they call wings , other shorter , and so are stiled short or long wing'd hawes , according to their habits , but so , as constant ever in the fashion they once take up . they have excellent taylors when need is to mend their cloathes , who will put you peeces so cunningly in , that they shall not be perceived . hoods are a great fashion with them , which terme they keepe common with us ; but for their bootes , they call them gesses , to distinguish them from ours . they are very forgetfull , for being tied so fast by the heeles , they never think of it , but will offer to fly away an hundred times an houre . she hath so curious a pallat of her owne , as she will not trust any cooke to dresse her fowle for her , but will plume and pick it her selfe with an admirable dexterity . if she bee high with too much ease , and grow pursie , shee will physick her selfe , and take a vomit , and thereby come as sound as a bell. she hath a piercing and rowling eye in her head , but no wanton , being so honest : otherwise shee were like enough to have many paramours , who goes so much abroad at her owne pleasure . when she goes a hunting , shee is well attended with many that go with chaines about their necks , by two and two , which they call couples , where they doe nothing but serve her , and put up her game ; yea , the best man in the company will not refuse to toyle and sweat to shew her sport , and of all they take , she is first serv'd . they are somewhat fantasticall , and as their manner is , will take a toy now and then , and go strait beyond seas without a licence , or taking leaue of their friends ere they go , where when they come , or returne againe , they are held as passengers and great travellers , and happy he who can get them into his service : they never stirre no way but the bels ring . they are watcht sometimes , they are so unhappy , especially when they have not sowed all their wilde oats . if they bee once reclaimed from their debauchments , they prove notable convertyts , and very obedient to the cure . . the elephant is a huge colossus or mausoleon of flesh and bloud to bury quicke in , a certain thing they call life , which like an artificiall engine within , gives it a motion , and makes it a kind of a moving pageant in the form of an elephant . he is the vast poliphemus or gogmagog of the wildernesse , but without a clubbe , while his owne bulke is club enough to terrifie withall . it is a hulk at land of such a burden , that when it moves it is hard to say , whether the trees passe by it , or it saile by the trees . he is as the whale amongst beasts that might well have wafted ionas through the desert had it beene his way to ninive . the trojan horse was not so handsome and commodious to lodge the grecian ambuscado , as he had been within his flanks . it is a living house not tyled without , but pentised rather with oakē boords , not thatch'd because he hath no haire on his backe . he hath no manners at all in him , for he will still be leaning on some tree or other , and is so heavie and lubberly , that sometimes the tree will fall , and he lye sprawling on the ground . he is so stiffe in the hammes , as he cannot make you a handsome legge , nor so much as kneele to his own father to aske him blessing . he can yet make shift to dance if he list , but that so unhandsomely , as for shame of other witnesses hee practises by moone-light . hee hath no loftie galiards with him , but all his revelling is with ground tricks , and then especially when hee falls downe flat , as hee often doth . he is very religious , i should say superstitious rather , for they will flocke in sholes to worship the moone at full , and the sunne at his arise . he is a sturdie porter that will carry you a whole tower on his backe , and yet will not sweat you a haire for it . he is a good sword-man , and layes about him in the warres , but cannot weild the two hand-sword nor is any fencer at all for want of a dagger hand toward withall . he is a notable birder too , for he is never without his trunke in his mouth . but no rat-catcher , while every mouse will be ready to take him by the nose , and make him roare like himselfe . they are not fruitfull , for they breed but once in all their life , and then bring forth but one at once : whence it is they have no gavelkin tenour amongst them , the occasion of much strife , but every one is heire apparent to his father , but living as they do three hundred yeares ( as they say ) they are faine to stay long ere they enter into their lands . in a word , he is so intelligent , and hath so good a memorie and judgement with him , that were he not where i finde him amongst beasts in our wildernesse , i should thinke hee were some one of vlisses crew transformed into that shape . . the gnat if you take him as he is indeed , is but a point , but an atome , but a little nothing that flies in the aire : but otherwise is a vaste amphitheater , wherein the divine wisedome takes pleasure to shew his omnipotence . he hath a curious pallet of his owne , which makes him so liquorish of humane bloud , which this little caniball daily and nightly suckes at others costs . there is something doubtlesse in the fornace of the stomacke of this little piece of creature , which causeth such a raging thirst as cannot be satisfied . it is a pleasure to see him swim in the ayre , where he flies without flying , or rather the ayre flies for him , and serves him as a coach to convey him at pleasure . they say he hath wings , but indeed he hath none , for that which is fastened to his backe so , and glued at it were unto his skinne , in forme of wings is no more then aire , and a wind wrought to a stuffe that hath no name , nor all chyna affoords you any such , and that is it , they call his wings . and yet with them he will skimme and vault in the ayre , like a mountebanke upon the stage . he is a notable tilter , and with his launce , will not misse you his adversary , but smite him full on the face , and that so dexterously as you shall not know who did it , being the onely recreation he takes . this is admirable in him , that the speare which is felt by night of such as sleep , cannot bee seene by day by such as wake . hee never puts it in the rest in vaine ; for either he fetches bloud indeed , or leaves some marke of his valour and dexteritie behinde him . he is but a pigmie or dwarfe of himselfe , but being on his stilts , he would make you beleeve he were some body , and so he is indeed , for he is all body and no legges . he hath a voyce notwithstanding like a giant , and if he be disposed to put it in tune , hee sings you a deepe tenour ; and layes out such a throat withall , that shall drowne a quire of better musicke . the harmony they make of many parts is none of the best , the reason is , because they have no treble amongst them , but all trouble and confusion . when they go into the warres among themselves , they keepe no discipline at all , nor march all their troopes in files , but pelmel rush in one upon another , and every one sounds his owne trumpet . when he sings he would make you beleeve he runs division , being no more then a shaking of the bodie , through a foolish tricke hee hath got , to dance when hee sings , or to sing when he dances . when he lists to taste a cup of wine , he hath his wimble to pierce the the vessell that holds his hipocras , which is likewise his quill to sup his possets . he is an excellent chirurgion , who with his lancet will not misse you a veine , though at midnight . he is no good tobacconist , since what hee takes he lets down , which makes him dogge-sicke . being bred in the marshes , hee is much subiect to rewmes and grievous defluxions of the eyes , and therefore cannot abide a smoakie roome , but will immediately avoid it , and bee readie to breake his necke out of the window for haste . they are notorious rebels , for if they rise once , they chiefly ayme at the head , witnesse the frequent ryots they make , especially about our heads and faces . hee is a great whisperer , and teller of tales in our eares , but so as one is never the wiser for them . in fine , they are busie bodies where they have no thankes for their labours . . the mole takes his name from his extraction the mould , being of the ancient familie of adam by the mothers side . he hath no armes at all , though he be so anciently descended , nor any legges that he can garter . for his square shoulders , he is an atlas right , for as he shores up the heavens with his , this beares the earth on his backe . hee is in truth an engener , who is wholly occupied in mines and countermines . hee is a great lord , for he is master of many burrowes , which meeting together with streets and lanes , make up a goodly citie of his owne , which is not paved , because the citizens there go all bare-foot . he is a good ferrier under ground , but bolts no rabbets out , because they are countrey men , and haile-fellowes well met . he hath no eyes that hee can see with , because the sunne shines not in his region , and as for candle-light , he needs it not , because his chiefest trade consists in groping out his worke . the waspes belike doe hire his vaults and cellars to inhabite in , but what rent they pay him , or what tenants they prove , i cannot tell : but i should think he were even as good to forgo his rent quite , as to demand it at their hands . he is the true spirit of the earth , that causeth such earthquakes , as would make a world of ants beleeve that doomes-day were come . he is an outlaw , and a publicke bando set forth against him , with a reward of fiftie maravedes proposed to any , that shall bring him to the lord of the soile either dead or alive . yea there are some braves of purpose set a worke to cut them off , and yet as brave as they are , they dare not set upon them , but creeping by stealth , and armed with many stillettoes at once . but yet for my part , i hold them good swizzers that would live contented in their stoves ; if they would let them alone : for alas ! what would they have them to do . to keepe in alwayes , and never to looke out of doores , were a hard case , while this is all the hurt i see they do . . the peacocke is the paradise among birds , but not the bird of paradise , because not so innocent . hee is the heavenly spheare in feathered things . for if the heavens have one iris , he wil shew you many irises at once . hee is a whole court in himselfe upon s. george his day , where all is nothing else but braverie . or rather is the knight who rides in pompe at his installment , attended with an honorable traine so awfull and obsequious of him as they even tremble at every motion of his body . he is very circumspect , but t is but to see who notes him , and very carefull of his carriage , because he knows he hath many eyes upon him . hee is no mercer of cheape-side who keepes a constant shop at home , but a pedlar rather that carries his packe about him , which he will open every foot , but sells no ware , he sets so great a price upon them . if you looke on them , hee cares for no more ; but if you take off your eye once , he will bee in his dumpes straight , put up his packe , and go his wayes . hee is no goldsmith on the other side , who utters plate and that by weight , but a right ieweller who deales with nothing else but jemmes , a commoditie more light , but yet of greater price . the truth is , rather , he is a true feather-man of blacke friers , but none buies at his shop but giddy heads ; for the estrige is more in request , and puts him by his custome . it is a merry world with him , who alwayes carries his spring about him , where every feather is a rare tulip . when he is disposed hee will keepe state , but it is in the hall onely all for shew , for in the dining roome there is but poore doings , because hee spends all on fine cloathes , and bestowes nothing on his belly . he hath a turret to his palace , where his head stands like a weather-cocke as fickle as it : for it will turne and wind on this side and that side with everie puffe of vanitie . when he hath all his accoutrements about him , you would take him to be a tall ship well rig'd and deckt with streamers top and top gallant , but no merchant man , because no substance in him . he is very spruce and neat , and can abide no sordities at all , and wil make you sport to see how gingerly he wil passe over a heape of dust . he is wise , but t is but in his owne opinion , for hee is such a prodigall that once a yeare he turns bankrupt ; and then shall you heare him cry a myle off as one that had lost all . were it not yet for his pride , hee might be an angel among birds , whereas now he is a lucifer , and altogether as proud as he : which may be the reason he hates the serpent so much ; for proud folkes can never agree together , or else because hee borrowed his head of him , for where you borrow once , you lose your friend and turne enemy . . the batte is a right amphibium ; with the mice , hee is a mouse , with birds , a bird ; complying so with both kindes to insinuate himselfe with either , and by the priviledge so of his double habit , makes an excellent intelligencer for either state. hee loves not the citie , as being , hee thinks , too full of tumults . the country he likes better , and especially the yeomens houses , where he findes his chiefest rost-meat . he is a great student by day , but what hee studies i know not , unlesse it be the blacke art , for hee loves darkenesse , and hates the light : howsoever hee keepes within doores all the day , to what other purpose i know not . hee is no great traveller , for hee loves not to goe farre from the smell of the smoake of that chimnie where hee was bred and borne . hee is a notable good husband , who in an age will not spend you a penny in good fellowship . if he walke abroad at any time , it is towards the evening , where hee will fetch you a turne or two , till he can see no more , and then goes to bed to save candlelight , and perhaps supperlesse too , for i am not privie with his ordinarie diet . when they are infants , and but newly weaned from the breast , they feede them with gnats , a great regalo with them . they are well toothed , for they bite shrewdly , the reason is , because they are not given to fruit , so as it is a rare matter to heare of a barber sent for to them to draw a tooth . he that should see them but even now to walke on the ground like drowned mice , and immediately got up a cocke-horse , not knowing the mistery of their wings , would wonder what upstart fellowes they were , so sodainly prickt up to honours . they see nothing by day , and it seems as little by night , for they will run full upon you , ere they or you bee aware . though hee be no phaeton , because his wings are not of feathers , nor a magus because not borrowed , or any waies counterfeit or helpt by art magicke , yet is he a very impostour , for who would imagine them to be made of leather ? they are most sacrilegious , for they will make no conscience to rob churches , which they do as often as they come where lampes are , for they love oyle beyond measure . there is great aversions betweene them and the ants , the reason therof i could never learn , unles it be for that they are both amphibiums alike , while figulus figulum odit ; since the winged ant is a mungrill between the worme and the flye , as he betweene the bird and the beast . in fine , though hee be a batte , hee is no timber , especially of the plane-tree , which he hates as he hates plaine dealings , which to the vertuous and good is a great jewell . . the mosse is properly the mantle of the wildernesse ; a stuffe that is either tapistrie , valence , velvet , or plush , or rather is all of them , according to the use it is put to . it is ordinarily a winter weare , and then is most in fashion . it is wrought truely not of silke , nor woven with threed or cruell , but is rather a downy stuffe as will never be thred-bare , though it be worne winter & summer , or whole ages . it is commonly betweene an olive colour , and a beazar , curiously mingled in the stuffe ; not died , but naturall , and so good the colours , that they never fade or change the hew . the birds make good use of it , who hang their houses with that dornix , and make it serve for flock beds under their feather beds . the very rocks and stones of the desart are glad sometimes to put on ierkins of that freeze , to defend them from the cold . it is a wooll that if it could spin and hold out a threed as well as ours , it would sell as well as cotsall wooll , and make as good as any kentish cloath . it were excellent to make felts with , as i should thinke as good as any beaver , if wee had but the art to dresse and handle it as it should be . hee will sometimes seeme to perke up to honours , while he gets him on the tops of houses , but i dare say of no pride , but charity to defend them better from the raine and weather when they waxe old . he is no greatfeeder , for he will live in the barren'st places , and sterve the whole wildernesse besides , ere he pinch a whit . hee is never young , or very old , but still keepes the same complexion he had at first , and beares his yeeres excellent well ; a good spring helpes him nothing , nor a hard winter empaires him a whit . he is ever in good state for soule and body no doubt , who seemes to bee so mortified a creature , as to be alwaies ready for the tomb , and yet never comes there , but lives for ever , as one may say , in this very life , enjoying an endlesse rest . he is most constant in himselfe , and hates inconstancie in all others , so as by his will hee will have nothing to doe with any such , as appeares by the saying , that a rowling stone gathers no mosse . to conclude , he hath a good nature with him , and truely loves where he takes . . the ant is a kinde of serpent , a serpendo , not on his belly , as pleading not guilty to that curse , but with his feet , and therfore a footman right . they are great theeves , and live upon rapine , especially in filching of corne , and if they lived in any other well governed common-wealth then theirs , they should be sure to be laid in the iayle for it : but with them all is fish that comes to the net . they haue no king , because they will have none , and that is all the reason they will yeeld for it . they like better of the republiques , then of monarchies , for so they may come happily to shuffle their owne cards themselves . they have no gentry among them , they live like switzers lazing in their stoves or caves under ground . they are true netherlanders indeed , because their country lyes under the ground , and somewhat northerly , because likely they see not the sunne for halfe a yeere together . in stead of embassadors , they have their agents abroad , true agents indeed as full of action . their common-wealth is not governed by the prescripts of solon , or those of lycurgus , whose lawes were civill , but rather by the lawes of their corrupt nature . for though they live now in the time of grace , yet have they no benefit thereof , being atheists all . and if there be any that have any feeling of god , it is but while the judgements of god light on him . they scarcely heed any of his precepts , more then crescite & multiplicamini , which they truely observe to the letter . whence it is their common-wealth is so populous , that if they were not very industrious , they might starve for ought i know . they have no state houses amongst them , because no buildings there but caves in the ground , according to the fashion of that country . the boores will assemble together to betake themselves to severall offices for the publicke good ; some to carry corne to their granaries , where a single grain is accounted a load for a sturdy ant , and he shall brag as much of it , as ours shall do for the carrying halfe a seame of wheat , and if one cannot , two will joyne together , and carry it between them . they go somtimes to the warres , but gaine more by craft then downe right blowes . they have no flying armies , because they are foot all , and have no wings , but they have their running armies , and then it is when they shew their heeles . in fine , they have many enemies , but like the foxe , fare best when they are most curst . . the ivie , whether a tree , or what it is i know not , at least hath great alliance with them , and some affinitie , as having often matched with many of their stockes : but is indeed it selfe a fatall and unlucky family to joyne with , as being the ruine of many of them . hee hath great ambition to linck himselfe with the ancientest houses hee can get into , and so kinde where hee takes , as hee kils with kindnesse . he is a sure friend , for hee never leaves one , till hee hath brought him to the last cast . he shewes himselfe to bee very amorous , as being full of his embraces , but they are trayterous complements . hee reverenceth antiquity much , and will be alwayes in the gravest company . he hath the honour to be joyned with the bayes in poets wreathes , in their laureat acts . he is a right noune adjective , that cannot stand without his substantive ; but yet makes a foule solecisme , that never agrees with him in case , because without ; nor in gender , because of a different kinde ; nor number , because the one is singular , the other plurall , being twenty to one . hee is a very leech , that sucks the bloud out of the veines , and sokes up the sap and humour so , as the party growes old , and will decay in a short time . there are some martialists amongst them , as appeareth by their valour , who are so warlike , as to assault castles , scale the wals , and mount the battlements thereof . there is great contestation between him and the holly , and much part-taking on both sides about precedence , and taking the upper place , which no herald will or can , i thinke , take up . hee is all heart , you would thinke , that makes him so kinde as hee seemes to be , where every leafe is a token thereof ; yet he is indeed a very dissembler , and a right parasite , who can sooth and claw so for his owne ends , using a dumbe eloquence , and expressing with signes and tokens onely , what his tongue , if he had it , would do . . the daw is a pert companion , and a right pedant , because hee goes in blacke , and wants the gravitie that coat requires . he is a linguist because a man of his tongue , but no latinist , because his k is no letter in that alphabet . he is a very spalt , that carries his head so like a shittlecocke , and no marvell , who hath such a shittle braine of his owne . hee will stalke you up and downe as he were some bodie , and so he is , for hee hath a bodie , and that is all . he seemes to be a proud iacke , for what , i know not , unlesse for his buckram jacket , which he takes perhaps to be right satin . he goes very spruce , in his spanish leather boots , but blacke , because suitable he thinkes ; and is so neat , that hee weares gamashes over them , of what colour he cares not , though they be red , for so he shall bee more conspicuous . hee hath none of the dove in him , for though he be simple , he is not innocent , nor is a serpent , because he hath no malice in him , and yet of the two , is more knave than foole . he is very ambitious , who alwayes aymes at the soveraigntie of the highest steeples , which he uses for towres to looke about him : but is base in other things , who for his tabernacle , is content to put his head in a hole . the bels he cares not for a whit , who hath a bell of his owne , which when he list to ring out indeed , they will rattle such a peale , that will even drown the bels of osney . they say he is no gentleman borne , but a yeoman , and therefore is called plaine iacke , but they do him wrong , for he will be very tame & gentle ; while it is onely his much familiaritie with us , that makes him called so : for the truth is , the chaugh , the rookes , and they were all of a familie once ; but now are three distinct houses , giving the bill for armes , but with some difference , whereby the daw appeares to be of the elder house who hath his without any difference at all . in fine , i hold him a good companion , and as the world goes now adayes , an honest knave . . the snake or serpent , is that creature that deceived our first parent eve. for his skin , he is a right panther , but yet hath nothing neare so sweete a breath that ever i could heare of . he seemes to carrie a whole heaven upon his backe , it being so variously distinguished here and there with little speckled clouds , dispersed all over in a s●ren night . hee hath an ill tongue , that cannot speak a good word of any one , and a shrewd wit with his ill tongue , for betweene jest and earnest , hee will sting one to the quicke , and the worst is , they are such cruell jests he breakes , that they even fester where , they light . he is a right forrester , for he never goes without his forked arrow in a readinesse , to shoot and wound whom he list , and is so churlish in his office , as it is but a word and a blow with him ; and is so full of his windings and turnings to this side and that side , as one knows not where to have him . hee is some great malefactour belike , for hee lurkes continually in holes , as if he durst not show his face : but it is indeed to worke some mischiefe when hee sees his time . he is neat in his habit , & when it is a twelve-moneth old , changeth it for a new . hee hath no sleeves to his coat , and yet is streightly put to it , while he gets it off ; but he cares not what paines he takes , so he may be fine , & have a new one . he is esteemed to bee devour , while hee mortifies his body so much , for hee cares not what they do with it , so they spare his head , the better part , where chiefly his soule resides . hee is cold of complexion , but not good of condition , who spits poyson . it is true hee hath an ill name , whereas , were it not for his sting which hath made him to loose his credit so , i see not but for his silver coat and other habiliments he hath , he might bee received into ladies laps , and be hang'd about their neckes instead of a carkanet . . the crab is an apple as well as the rest , though for his sowre condition , he seems to be shut out for an harsh companion . this is the rurall crab onely , whereas the towne crab is of better respect , as more civill , and knowne to bee of a sweeter nature . hee is a right forrester , who is never seene without a greene suite , of so good a colour , as will hardly weare yellow . he is a painter right , not the apprentice that makes no faces , but the master himselfe , who will make you make a face . he is very rich , who hath so good a stocke with him , whereof he is no niggard , that so freely communicates himself to every one , that will but joyne with him , nor shall they ever thrive indeed or fructifie well till then . he would faine turne vintner , and utter wine , cider at least , but t is but verges , and he no more then a plaine chaundler . they should be schollars , for they have great seminaries amongst them , but have no severall classes , that makes them stand so without order , till they ascend to the vniversities , and then as graduats they take degrees , and keepe their ranks , according to their standing . he is a generall man , and will close in with everie man , but 't is for his ends onely to be respected , for of himselfe , hee knowes none will regard him . he is a very hydra , for cut off his head , and he will have three for one , and those much better then the old : or take him for a martialist standing in his file , he is a lame souldier with stumpt armes , wrapped up in searclothes , and this after a hot skirmish , when they are put to it , for then likely they are fetcht off . they are not strong , but yet great bearers ; for they will bring forth many children at a birth , but those so weake , as they never come to any growth . if hee take upon him to make a tart , he will be as good as his word , for you shall be sure to have him tart enough , and so sterne that all the sugred speeches in the world will not qualifie him . though the pippin be held to be the king of apples , yet is the crab of an ancienter family then he ; as he from whence the pippin fetches his chiefe bloud , and derives his family ; while the crab is descended from adams time , from father to sonne , linea recta , without any bastardy or attainder of bloud . he is a right brittaine , and true native of this land , and not a gascoigne come in with the conquerour ; which is the reason they desire to match into his stocke ; wheras the gascoignes of curtisie onely made free denizons , are nothing so regarded for antiquity . he is a very criticke , who sharply censures every thing , but it is no matter while no man regards what hee saith , being knowne to have no iudgement with him . in a word , though he hath lived thus long , he is a man of no experience , nor hath much knowledge in him , which is so much the better . . the ape is a mimick made by nature to play the ape for his owne ends : the truth is , hee is a true buffon , as made for mirth . the sport is when he and his couzin monky meet together , for they are somewhat of kin , but now there having bin so many removes between them , their kindred is so worne out , as they are but quater couzins . hee is a savadge in the wildernesse , and in the city he is every thing . in the wildernesse he contents himselfe with the coat that nature hath dressed him with ; in the city he will be , as occasion serves : he hath notable cheeks of his owne to make a trumpeter , were it not for a great imperfection he hath , that he cannot hold his breath so long from chattering with his teeth . he is a very sloven , yet he never eates without his cut finger-gloves : he hath but an ill-favoured foot , and a worse legge . it is to be feared he is much troubled with the stone , for he is a great sitter . he would make a good horseman , for hee never gaules himselfe . he hath a good wit , but the great agility and dexterity of his fingers is beyond bounds . wheras others have pockets in their slopps likely , he hath his in his chops . he should bee a poet , for he hath a running head of his owne , as appeares by the many pranks he plaies . he is no musician , because he cannot keepe an even stroke ; and which is worse would breake all the strings , were it onely to heare them knap asunder : to conclude , his best trade is a true comedian , to play a zany or pantalon on the stage , which hee will doe very naturally , and to the life indeed . . the owle deare to athens , sacred to minerva , and the muse as it were of nightly lucubrations , is yet to others in the day held to be a prodigy in nature : but portends no more then a massacre of mice . he is ever buckled as it were for a journey ; for hee hath alwaies his riding cloake on , his hood with glasses for his eyes to looke out at , in the spanish fashion . when he perches on a tree , hee sits like a prince , in his chaire of estate , to give audience , which he doth full sore against his will , while every one hath his owne saying , and he without any other reply , faigne to consent with his nod . for he is a man of few words , and when he speakes , hee shewes to have a hollow voyce ; unlesse sometimes when he puts it forth , for then hee squeakes right out , and even screeches againe . hee loves hunting well , and takes great pleasure to hallow to the hounds . but for hawking , he hath no maw to it ; nor will once come neere that sport , for feare hee prove an acteon , and become the subject of the game . for quicknesse of sight , though hee yeeld to the eagle in gazing on the sunne by day , without dazling his eyes , yet hee will chalenge him by moone-light . hee would make a notable watchman at midnight , as needing no other bels alarum then his owne voyce , nor mastiffe dogge then his owne gripe . though most unfit for a centinell in warres , because he cannot change his watch-word , while every one that could but hollow , might passe for him . but i should think him apter for a quiet life to pray his nocturnes in the night , leaving the prime and other houres to the larke , and the rest of the quire of birds , to sing their benedicite omnes volucres coeli , to their common creator . . the snayle is a gentleman every inch of him ; as ancient surely as adams time ; while for armes , hee hath had a house for coat ever since , which he bears to this day . he seemes very stately in the manner of his gate , but hee is not proud . he is cold of complexion , because flegmaticke , which makes him so slow of his pace . hee is a scholler , for he keepes his study , though he have no bookes . he is no accademicke , though a philosopher , because not sociable , but rather a peripateticke , because a walker ; but especially a stoicke , because he carries all whatsoever hee hath on his backe . if hee were confined to his five miles according to the statute , it would trouble him nothing , while hee would travaile where hee list , yet not incurre the forfeiture , or the penalty of the law . he hath indeed a certaine house of his owne , but no setled one , and a faire porch to it , but no doore . hee is a free-holder , and no tenant at will , or for any terme that is lesse then his life . there is no covenant servants amongst them , but are housholders every one . they have no constant cities of their owne , while their houses joyne not one to another , as others doe . though they wander much , and gad abroad , yet they are not included in the statute of rogues . the snayle and the periwincle are much alike , with this difference , that the snayle with paines carries his house on his backe , and the periwincle , house and all , is carried with the waves with ease , as held up by the chinne . in fine , they are at peace with all the world , and have no enimies at all ; and so like the hamburgers , trade and travaile where they please ; unlesse in a time of famine , when perhaps for better food , they come to be snapt up , and made good prize . . the swallow is the little spirit of the ayre , who will bee here , and there , and every where , in the twinckling of an eye . hee loves to dwell in the city for societies sake . his house is built in the manner of the antipodes , in the vulgar opinion ; for as their feet are opposite to ours , of consequence their houses must needs bee turned upside downe ; and so are theirs . they have no windowes , or posterns behind their houses , but all their light , egresse , and regresse , is at the porch only , where they keep watch with their bils , both night and day , for feare of forreigne invasion . their fare is light and easie of digestion , which makes them so active and nimble as they are ; not of worms , for that they hold too grosse and earthly : not of corn , not to put the world to so much cost : nor of flesh , for they cannot indure the flesh pots of egypt . they hawke , hunt , and fish where they list , as being the rangers of the forrests , allowed by nature through the priviledge of their wing . hee must needs fly well , that feeds on flyes , who is so fleet , that hee will stay by the way for no mans pleasure , for hee is alwayes set on the spurre , and , as it were , the post of the eagles court. the difficulty is , he can hardly stay so long in a place , as to take his message ere hee goeth , so tickle he is . they are notable physitians , or chirurgians , which you will , for they will cure you the blinde , as readily with the herb chelidonia , as cause it with their dung . in fine , they are welcome ghests when they come first , because they bring in the summer with them ; and never depart without teares when winter comes . . the oak is the atlas of the forrest trees , for though the pine and cedar have a loftier crest , and beare the head more high , yet not so full a breast , nor with so square a paire of shoulders . before noahs time , it was a good provision for a frugall family . it is even a market of corne and fruit ; and a very prodigy among trees , for whereas some have leaves , and no fruit , some fruit and leaves ; the oak hath both . if iron were to be sought for among trees , it would bee found in the heart of oak . he is a tree more generous than the walnut , while the walnut will endure to be beaten by every boy , and his nuts to bee taken from him : but the oake will not part with his , till hee let them goe of his owne accord : he beares his yeeres beyond measure , for let him alone , and hee will out passe methusalems dayes , and oft times wears out many ages and generations of all his neighbours round about him . the eagle willingly will perch upon no other tree then him . he is no iew , for he loues porke well , who feeds so many at his owne cost . he is very stout , that stands so lustily to all weathers , nor were it good to anger him , for as formicis sua bilis inest , he hath his gall , yet otherwise patient enough ; for if you make him a mill-post , hee wil patiently beare all ; turne him to boards , and he wil humbly lye at your feet , and suffer himselfe to bee trampled on . and which is all that possibly can bee required , hee makes himselfe a very holocaust , while hee is sacrificed in the fire , and turned to ashes . . the dog is a fit groome for a princes chamber , because loyall and trusty . he is a fit companion for a lady , if hee can but creep into her glove , for then shall he bee taken up into her lap ; yea , her bosome too , and haply bee kissed , as a better thing . if hee be a right island , and bee put into the lyons cut , hee is then no more her servant , but her guardian and keeper rather ; at least he will be her gentle man-usher , to lead her in and out . if shee haue no children to play with of her owne , hee is like to be her only sport , without the which shee were no lady . as wee have our vtopia , the dogs have an i le likewise , but not set downe in mercator ; therefore lost perhaps , or not yet discovered . hee is a great harkner after newes , and therefore searches the privy pockets of all the dogs hee meets with , perhaps to understand some tidings from the i le of dogs . they had once a language sure , as well as serpents , but lost their alphabet as well as they ; save s and r , which still they keep . he is a slave by condition , and made for wayting , and not for rule and command ; for hee is most imperious and intolerable , where hee feeles any power and authority in himselfe , a great token of his basenesse . he is not for suits of law , because hee cannot attend a legall course , but will seeke to right himselfe out of hand . hee never makes any set duels , or points any field , for all his valour is shewed in hot bloud ; they are frayes hee makes , not single combats : yet if they be set on by others , and have their seconds , for so they must ; they are tyrants for fiercenesse . they are very cholericke , and great swearers , but their oathes are peculiar to thēselves . in fine , i hold him a good house-keeper , though otherwise of no hospitalitie , that is so readie to shake up folkes that enter in . . the parat is the iew among birds , because he hath no proper language of his owne , that hee can speake , but what he learnes where he is bred and borne . yet india is his proper palestin , that speakes the language he should speake , which because it is so hard , hee hath the lesser difficultie , to frame and accommodate himselfe to our languages in europe . he hath the bignesse of our doves , but nothing neare the candour and simplicity of that bird : for if hee bee a foole , hee is also a knave , being waggish and unhappy enough sometimes . hee is a companion for great personages , & therefore is taken up in court , to bee the princes jester : where he will be very gay in apparell . he weares about his necke a collar not of s s , for that will not be allowed him , but rather a white silke rope , which is the cause belike , the pages so upbraid him for it , in saying , a rope for parat . he loves all nuts , but almonds beyonde measure : so as by his good will , hee will talke of nothing else : when hee awakes , he opens the windowes of his eyes , and begins to stretch himselfe , now one legge , and then another , like a dottrel , then quivering with his wings , and shrinking in his head into his shoulders in manner of an italian shrugge , shake his eares ; and then is he up , for all that day . it is wel he hath such a thick short necke of his owne ; else you would verily beleeve , hee would breake it an hundred times a day , could he peece it together as often : for he will desperately cast himselfe from the upper rope , and dexterously take hold of another beneath with foot or hand , and oftentimes with his very teeth . he is indeed the ape of birds , and with his tongue will counterfeit more london cryes , then any ape shall play tricks . he hath a reasonable wit , and a better memorie , but cannot a word of the book ; for he is all by roat , and will con very well by heart . finally , he is full of his wagers , that if he used the cock-pit , he would be quickly beggered , for hee will lay twenty pound at every word , when he hath not a peny in his purse . . tobacco . is a soveraigne plant of an active spirit , which being set on fire , mounts to the upper region of the braine , and there playes rex : where like a lord of mis-rule , calling the whimsies round about him , they all play revell rout together , and thence like a little sathan , he sends them here and there , as spirits up and downe to work wonders . it is a spice that comes from india , now growne in more request then pepper is ; but will bee sure to pepper them that take it over much . it makes a verie chimney of the body ; else why doe they wash the tonnell so with sacke . he that useth it while hee playes at cards , shall bee sure to have a flush at all times . it is the very incense of vulcan , fumed to his honour in a thurible of cley . it is a meteor , that being set on fire , makes the ignis f●tuus in mens braines ; whereby they cannot finde sometimes the right way out of doores . it is the milke of tellus , which suckles mortals , with as many tears , as earthen pipes . it is immortall in a sort , which lives so in his ashes ; and which after death , is so beneficiall to man. the physitians hold him an empericke , and but that he finds many friends in court , hee had beene exploded from the colledge long since . they would faine put him out of practise , because they say hee is no graduate , nor ever commenced in any act of physicke : but they strive in vaine ; for so long as he is so reasonable in his fees , hee will have more practice , though not so full of gain . in fine , had hee but discourse to set forth himselfe , and the infinite cures he workes , galen and hypocrates might break their vrinals , and carry his after him . . the bay-tree is the lawrel , so deare to apollo , for his daphney's sake ; so priviledged by nature , that even thunder and lightning , are here even taxed of partiality , and will not touch him for respects sake , as a sacred thing . he is a schollar , and studies standing , for i could not finde that ever he sat to his booke : and when we see them stand so thicke together in a knot or cluster , then it is they make their repetitions of the lessons of apollo . he is an enemy to fire , because they both are hote and cholericke by nature . hee is fit for halls and stately roomes , where if there be a wedding kept , or such like feast , he will be sure to take a place more eminent then the rest . he is a notable smell-feast ▪ and is so good a fellow in them , that almost it is no feast without him . he is a great companion with the rosemary , who is as good a gossip in all feasts , as he a trencher-man . hee is made , as it were , all of tongues , so as had he fit organs to them , as teeth and lips , it is like with his eloquence , hee would change the whole world , and make them beleeve and do what he list . of all fish , hee is very much taken with the spitch cock ; for then hee will bee his owne cooke , and dresse it , and make the sawce himselfe . he is fresh and lively , for he is alwayes greene , and beares his yeares wel , for hee will looke you as fresh at sixtie years as at fifteen . he is a man of excellent example , who leaves so good an odour behinde him ; yet he is by religion a pagan ; addicted to the worshipping of the fained gods , and much versed in that theology ; nor is he altogether free from superstition ; for he wil make you beleeve that if you put his leaves but under your pillow , you shall be sure to have true dreames . in fine , there is none without some faults ; but yet take him with all his faults , and in all the world for some things , you shall hardly finde his fellow . . the vine is that creeping worme , which with his liquours fils the head with spirits . it is a lymbecke which distills sweet liquors into those little bottles hanging so in clusters . it is the cloud that holds the showers which falls so plentiously in poets braines . bacchus makes him his bosomed friend , while he tenderly hugges him in his armes . mars makes use of no other squire then him , to put his sword into his hand , which hee readily doth , and works you wonders . he is witty and ingenious , and very learned , because well endowed with sciences , who yearly turnes over many a leafe to good purpose . and though outwardly he shew to bee but a plaine fellow , hee is rich , because he hath his vintage every yeare , which puts many crownes into his purse . he is a good storier in winter , that hath his vaults of wine so under ground : but yet prodigall enough thereof in summer , when like a good fellow , he brings his hogs heads to light . when hee is in his cups hee is verie brisk , and sparkles againe . he is the master scavenger of the citie of mans bodie , and will scowre their gutters excellent well . there are many counterfeits that passe for wine , as cider , perry , and the like ; but are not right , because they derive not from the true ancient stocke of the vines , who are a great family descended from the time of noe : who for armes beare certaine branches , vert , pendent , charged with the leaves of the same , in a yard , instead of a field . hee is not humble , for he cannot abide to be trampled under foot ; and yet is forced to indure it , that costs him his life ; but riseth again to have the honour to be brought to the princes table . . the fox seemes in the senate of the rest of beasts to bee as grave as any of them : but is indeed a slye and crafty merchant . hee is the davus in esops comedies , and the best jests in all those interludes are fathered upon him . hee hath the monopoly of the best blades in his hands ; witnesse his figure ingraven thereon , forbidding all to sell them without his stampe . hee is so crafty a companion , that he will not be drunke , because he will not be overtaken himselfe , but still lyes in wayte to catch others : and therefore when men are overtaken with drinke , they are said to be foxed . hee is a true purveyer , because he provides and takes , not for the king , but for himselfe , upon no price , and therefore is hated and cursed where he comes . hee makes no conscience of any shifts ; & for a goose , or a ducke , or such a matter , it is but a schollers tricke with him to amend his commons with , and so passes it over without any scruple at all , unlesse hee be taken in the manner , and then proues it a hanging matter , which halters the case quite . hee is a great lecturer , but reades to a company of geese onely , when hee will bee sure to bee well paid for his paines , with a good supper , where some one of his auditory are present . hee is very neat in his habit , for he alwaies carries his brush with him , especially when hee rides , for then hee carries it not at his pommell , for that were not fightly , but carries it still at the crupper . he hath a slye looke , and a notable leering eye of his owne ; and so good a mar-kman , as likely hee never misseth his ayme . for his eye , hee would make a notable gunner , but that hee cannot away with a piece , especially if it lie in ambascado , for that puts him quite out of his play . hee cannot abide a packe of dogges , which if he should , would cost him his life . he hath his forts and holes to retire into , where he feares nothing but countermynes to oppose and confront his ; for then hee is brought to a parley with his enemies , and faine to yeeld to hard conditions : in fine , were the world turned honest againe , and all knavery banished thence , it would be found in a foxe skinne . . the primrose is the principall of roses , because the prime and first in her precedence ; as the herbinger of flora , the queene of flowers . shee is the true and proper rose of the wildernesse , where shee is in her element the earth , as fishes in the sea , and fowles in the ayre . shee is the lowly and humble flower , and if shee want the sweet perfumes and civits the other roses have , shee is supplied with a sweeter odour of meekenesse , which they want through the churlish guard about them . shee is very courteous , and disdaines not the lappe of the forrest nymphs that greedily seeke after her , as the primitias of the spring . they make a dainty shew with them , when they sit familiarly together with their handmaids the leaves : but when they take their sister violets into their company , then they make an admirable enamell . shee is a common prostitute to eyes , but no strumper , because thereby she loseth no virginity shee hath , but still remaineth humbly chaste in her mothers lap , till shee bee violently snatcht away , and ravished thence , keeping her integrity still , so long as forced against her will. shee keepes willingly in the wildernesse , to shunne the company of men , but yet is no anchoresse , because no recluse , but a right hermitresse , inhabiting in the deserts . their habit and dressing is sutable to the spring , and the summers approach . in fine , i could wish the primrose were restored to her former state againe ; for then i should hope the golden age wherein shee flourished in times past , would happily returne againe . finis . a table of the contents of each severall character contained in this booke . the lyon. the squirrill . the bramble . the stagge . the golden mine . the hedge-hog . the pike . the rocke . the goat . the eccho . the lake . the cole-pit . the beare . the mustard-seed . the goose. the horse . the hawke . the elephant . the gnat. the mole . the peacocke . the bat. the mosse . the ant. the ivie . the daw. the snake . the crabbe . the ape . the owle . the snaile . the swallow . the oake . the dog. the parrat . tobacco . the bay tree . the vine ▪ the fox . the primrose . finis . characters vpon essaies morall, and diuine written for those good spirits, that will take them in good part, and make vse of them to good purpose. breton, nicholas, ?- ? approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : - (eebo-tcp phase ). a stc estc s this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : or : ) characters vpon essaies morall, and diuine written for those good spirits, that will take them in good part, and make vse of them to good purpose. breton, nicholas, ?- ? [ ] p. printed by edw. griffin, for iohn gwillim, and are to be sold at his shop in britaines-burse, london : . dedication signed: nich: breton. signatures: a-d (-d ). the first leaf and the last leaf are blank. running title reads: charactering of essayes. reproduction of the original in cambridge university library (reel ) and harvard university library (reel ). created by converting tcp files to tei p using tcp tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general 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proquest page images - jonathan blaney sampled and proofread - jonathan blaney text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion characters vpon essaies morall , and diuine , written for those good spirits , that will take them ▪ in good part , and make vse of them to good purpose . london printed by edw. griffin , for iohn gwillim , and are to be sold at his shop in britaines-burse . . to the honorable , and my much worthy honored , truly learned , and iudicious knight , sr francis bacon , his ma ties attourney generall , increase of honor , health , and eternall happinesse . worthy knight , i haue read of many essaies , and a kinde of charactering of them , by such , as when i lookt into the forme , or nature of their writing , i haue beene of the conceit , that they were but imitators of your breaking the ice to their inuentions ; which , how short they fall of your worth , i had rather thinke then speake , though truth neede not blush at her blame : now , for my selfe vnworthy to touch neere the rocke of those diamonds , or to speake in their praise , who so farre exceede the power of my capacitie , vouchsafe me leaue yet , i beseech you , among those apes that would counterfet the actions of men , to play the like part with learning , and as a monkey , that would make a face like a man , and cannot , so to write like a scholler , and am not : and thus not daring to aduenture the print , vnder your patronage , without your fauourable allowance , in the deuoted seruice of my bounden duty , i leaue these poore trauells of my spirit , to the perusing of your pleasing leasure , with the further fruites of my humble affection , to the happie employment of your honorable pleasure . at your seruice in all humblenesse nich : breton . to the reader . read what you list , and vnderstand what you can : characters are not euery mans construction , though they be writ in our mother tongue : and what i haue written , being of no other nature , if they fit not your humor , they may please a better : i make no comparison , because i know you not , but if you will vouchsafe to looke into them , it may bee you may finde something in them ; their natures are diuers , as you may see , if your eyes bee open , and if you can make vse of them to good purpose , your wits may prooue the better : in briefe , fearing the foole will bee put vpon me , for being too busie with matters too farre aboue my vnderstanding , i will leaue my imperfection to pardon , or correction , and my labour to their liking , that will not thinke ill of a well meaning : and so rest your well-willing friend , n.b. who reads this booke with a iudicious eye , will in true iudgment , true discretion try , where words and matter close and sweetly coucht , doe shew how truth , wit , art , and nature toucht . what need more words these characters to praise , they are the true charactering of essaies . i.r. in words of worth , to speake of these essayes let this suffice , the worke it selfe will prayse . c.n. some haue an humor , that to discommend they know themselues , they know not how to mend . other correct , what they doe thinke amisse : while in their owne conceit the error is . but true iudicious wits , and honest mindes , will giue their censure in some better kindes : and say but truth , that cannot be mistooke : wit hath well labour de learning in this booke . r.b. ad authorem . he that shall read thy characters ( nic : breton ) and weigh them well ; must say they are well written . they taste the lampe : much reading , obseruation , art , matter , wit , all worthy commendation . some weaue their lines of such a slender thred , they will not last so long , as to be read . thou hast so spunne , so weau'd ; thy words , thy lines they please vs most being viewd , a hundred times . w.d. in laudem operis . words are the pensils , whereby drawne we sinde the picture of the inward man , the minde . such thoughts , such words ; such words , such is the man. say ; is this spirit a plebeyan ? that like the singing larke doth mount so high , we cannot reach them with an earthly eye . w.p. while i essay to character this booke , and th●se charactered essayes o'relooke : i herein finde few words , great worth involve : a lip●o● stile , terse phrase : and so resolve , that as a stone 's best valu'd , and best prised , when best in knowne : so this , when best revised i.b. wisedome . wisedome is a working grace in the soules of the elect : by whom the spirit is made capable of those secrets , that neither nature , nor reason , is able to comprehend : who , by a powerfull vertue , she hath from the diuine essence , worketh in all things , according to the will of the almighty : and , being , before beginning , shall exceede time , in an eternall proceeding : she is a light , in the intellectuall part , by which reason is led to direct the sences in their due course , and nature is preserued from subiecting her selfe to imperfection : in the creation , shee was of councell with the trinitie , in the pleasing of the deity , in the redemption , the inuenter of mercy , for , the preseruation of the elect , and in the glorification , the treasurer of life , for the reward of the faithfull , who , hauing committed to her care , the cariage of the whole motion , finding the disposition of earth in all the children of her wombe , by such a measure , as she findes fitting their qualitie , she giues them either the grace of nature , or the glory of reason : while being the mother of the graces , shee giues them that holy instruction , that , in the knowledge of the highest loue , thorough the pathes of vertue , makes a passage to heauen : learning hath from her , that knowledge without the which , all knowledge , is meere ignorance : while , onely , in the grace of truth , is seene the glorie of vnderstanding : knowledge hath from her that learning , whereby , she is taught the direction of her loue , in the way of life : vnderstanding hath from her that knowledge , that keepes conceit , alwaies in the spirits comfort : and judgement , from vnderstanding , that rule of iustice , that by the euen waight of impartiality , shewes the hand of heauen in the heart of humanitie : in the heauens , she keepes the angels in their orders , teacheth them the natures of their offices , and emploies them in the seruice of their creator : in the firmament , she walkes among the starres , sets , and keepes them , in their places , courses , and operations , at her pleasure , she ecclipseth the light , and , in a moment , leaues not a clowde in the ●kie : in her thunders , and lightenings she shewes the terror of the highest wrath , and in her temperate calmes , the patience of his mercy : in her frostie winters , she shewes the weaknes of nature , and in her sunny springs , the recouery of her health : in the louers of this world liues no part of her purenesse , but , with her beloued she makes a heauen vpon earth : in the king , she shewes her grace , in his councell her care , and , in his state , her strength : in the souldior , she shewes vertue , the truest valor , in the lawier , truth , the honor of his plea , in the merchant , conscience , the wealth of his soule , and in the church-man charity , the true fruit of his deuotion : she liues in the world , but , not the worlds loue , for the worldes vnworthinesse , is not capable of her worth : shee receiueth mammon , as a gift from his maker , and makes him serue her vse to his glory : she giues honor , grace in bounty , and , manageth wit , by the care of discretion : she shewes the necessity of difference , and , wherein is the happinesse of vnitie : shee puts her labor , to prouidence , her hope , to patience , her life , to her loue , and her loue , to her lord : with whom , as chiefe secretary of his secrets , she writes his will to the world , and as high steward of his courts , she keepes account of all his tenaunts : in sum , so great is her grace in the heauens , as giues her glory aboue the earth , and so , infinite , are her excellencies , in all the course of her action , and , so glorious are the notes of her incomprehensible nature , that , i will thus onely conclude , farre short of her commendation : she is gods loue , and his angells light , his seruants , grace , and his beloueds glory . learning . learning is the life of reason , and the light of nature , where , time , order , and measure , square out the true course of knowledge ; where , discretion , in the temper of passion , brings experience to the best fruite of affection : while , both , the theoricke , and the practicke , labour in the life of iudgement , till , the perfection of art , shew the honor of vnderstanding : she is the keie of knowledge , that vnlocketh the cabinet of conceit , wherein are laide vp the labours of vertue , for the vse of the schollers of wisedome : where euery gratious spirit may finde matter enough worthy of the record of the best memory : she is the nurse of nature , with that milke of reason , that , would make a childe of grace , neuer lie from the dugge : shee is the schoole-mistris of witte , and the gentle gouernor of will , when , the delight of vnderstanding , giues the comfort of study : she is vnpleasing to none that knowes her , and vnprofitable , to none that loues her : she feares not to wet her feete , to wade thorough the waters of comfort , but , comes not neere the seas of iniquitie , where , folly drownes affection , in the delight of vanity : she opens her treasures to the trauailers in vertue , but , keepes them close from the eies of idlenesse : she makes the king gratious , and his councell , iudicious , his clergie , deuout , and , his kingdome , prosperous : she giues honor to vertue , grace , to honor , reward , to labor , and , loue , to truth : she is the messenger of wisedome , to the mindes of the vertuous , and , the way to honor , in the spirits of the gratious : she is the store-house of vnderstanding , where the affection of grace , can not want instruction of goodnesse , while , in the rules of her directions , reason is neuer out of square : she is the exercise of wit , in the application of knowledge , and the preseruer of the vnderstanding , in the practise of memory : in briefe , she makes age honorable , and , youth admirable : the vertuous , wise , and the wise , gracious : hir libraries are infinite , hir lessons without number , hir instruction , without comparison , and hir schollers without equalitie : in briefe , finding it a laborinth , to go through the grounds of hir praise : let this suffice , that in all ages shee hath been , and euer will be , the darling of wisdome , the delight of wit , the study of vertue , and the stay of knowledge . knowledge . knowledge is a collection of vnderstanding , gathered in the grounds of learning , by the instruction of wisdome : shee is the exercise of memory , in the actions of the minde , and the imployer of the senses , in the will of the spirit : shee is the notary of time , and the tryer of truth , and the labour of the spirit in the loue of vertue : shee is the pleasure of wit , and the paradise of reason , where conceit gathereth the sweet of vnderstanding . she is the kings councellor , & the councells grace , youths guarde , and ages glory : it is free from doubts , and feares no danger , while the care of prouidence cuts off the cause of repentance : shee is the enemy of idlenesse , and the maintayner of labour , in the care of credit , and pleasure of profit : shee needs no aduice in the resolution of action , while experience in obseruation , findes perfection infallible : it cleares errors , and cannot be deceiued , corrects impuritie , and will not bee corrupted : shee hath a wide eare , and a close mouth , a pure eye , and a perfect heart : it is begotten by grace , bred by vertue , brought vp by learning , and maintainde by loue : shee conuerseth with the best capacities , and communicates with the soundest iudgments , dwells with the diuinest natures , and loues the most patient dispositions : hir hope is a kind of assurance , hir faith a continuall expectation , hir loue an apprehension of ioy , and hir life the light of eternitie : hir labours are infinite , hir wayes are vnsearcheable , hir graces incomparable , and hir excellencies inexplicable : and therefore , being so little acquainted with hir worth , as makes me blush at my vnworthinesse , to speake in the least of hir praise : i will onely leaue hir aduancement to vertue , hir honour to wisdome , hir grace to truth , and to eternitie ; his glory . practise . practise , is the motion of the spirit , where the sences are all set to worke in their natures , where , in the fittest employment of time , reason maketh the best vse of vnderstanding : shee is the continuance of knowledge in the ease of memory , and , the honor of resolution in the effect of iudgment . shee plants the spring , and reapes the haruest , makes labour sweet , and patience , comfortable : shee hath a foot on the earth , but , an eye at heauen , where the prayer of faith findes the felicitie of the soule : in the fruit of charity , she shewes the nature of devotion , and in the mercy of iustice , the glory of gouernment . shee giues time honour , in the fruit of action , and reason , grace , in the application of knowledge : she takes the height of the sunne , walkes about the world , sounds the depth of the sea , and makes her passage thorough the waters . she is ready for all occasions , attendeth all persons , works with all instruments , and finisheth all actions : shee takes invention for her teacher , makes time , her seruant , method her direction , and place her habitation : shee hath a wakefull eye , and a working braine , which fits the members of the body , to the seruice of the spirit : shee is the physitians agent , and the apothecaries benefactor , the chirurgions wealth , and the patients , patience : shee brings time , to labor , and care , to contentment : learning to knowledge , and vertue to honour : in idlenesse shee hath no pleasure , nor acquaintance with ignorance , but in industry , is her delight , and in vnderstanding , her grace : shee hath a passage thorough all the predicaments , shee hath a hand in all the artes , a property in all professions , and a qualitie in all conditions : in briefe , so many are the varieties of the manners of her proceedings , as makes me fearefull to follow her too farre in obseruation , lest , being neuer able to come neere the height of hir commendation , i be inforced , as i am , to leaue hir wholy to admiration . patience . patience is a kind of heauenly tenure , whereby the soule is held in possession , and a sweet temper in the spirit , which restraineth nature from exceeding reason in passion . hir hand keeps time in his right course , and hir eye pierceth into the depth of vnderstanding : shee attendeth wisdome in all hir works , and proportioneth time , to the necessitie of matter : shee is the poyson of sorrow in the hope of comfort , and the paradise of conceit in the ioy of peace : hir tongue speakes seldome , but to purpose , and hir foot goeth slowly , but surely : shee is the imitator of the incomprehensible in his passage to perfection , and a seruant of his will in the mappe of his workmanship : in confusion , shee hath no operation , while she only ●arieth hir conceit , with the consideration of experience : shee trauailes farre , and is neuer weary ; and giues ouer no worke , but to better a beginning : shee makes the king mercifull , and the subiect loyall , honour gracious , and , wisdome glorious : shee pacifieth wrath , and puts off reuenge , and , in the humilitie of charitie , shewes the nature of grace : shee is beloued of the highest , and imbraced of the wisest , honoured with the worthiest , and graced with the best : shee makes imprisonment , liberty , when the minde goeth thorough the world , and in sicknesse findes health , where death is the way to life : shee is an enemie to passion , and knowes no purgatory ; thinkes fortune a fiction , and builds onely vpon prouidence : shee is the sick-mans salue , and the whole mans preseruer : the wise-mans staffe , and the goodmans guide : in summe , not to wade too farre in hir worthinesse , lest i be drownd in the depth of wonder , i will thus end , in hir endlesse honour : shee is the grace of christ , and the vertue of christianitie , the praise of goodnesse , and the preseruer of the world . loue. love is the life of nature , and the ioy of reason , in the spirit of grace ; where vertue drawing affection , the concord of sense , makes an vnion vnseparable in the diuine apprehension of the ioy of election , it is a rauishment of the soule , in the delight of the spirit : which , being caried aboue it selfe , into inexplicable comfort , feeles that heauenly sicknesse , that is better than the worlds health , when the wisest of men , in the swounding delight of his sacred inspiration , could thus vtter the sweetnesse of his passion : my soule is sicke of loue. it is a healthfull sicknesse in the soule , a pleasing passion in the heart , a contentiue labour in the minde , and a peacefull trouble of the senses : it alters natures in contrarieties , when difficultie is made easie , paine , made a pleasure , pouerty , riches , and imprisonment , liberty : for the content of conceit , which regards not to be an abiect , in being subiect , but to an obiect : it reioyceth in truth , and knowes no inconstancie , it is free from ielousie , and feareth no fortune : it breakes the rule of arithmericke , by confounding of number , where the coniunction of thoughts make one minde in two bodies , where neither figure , nor cipher , can make diuision of vnion : it simpathies with life , and participates with light , when the eye of the minde , sees the ioy of the heart : it is a predominat power , which endures no equalitie , and yet , communicates with reason , in the rules of concord : it breeds safety in a king , and peace , in a kingdome , nations vnitie , and natures gladnesse : it sings in labour , in the ioy of hope , and makes a paradise in reward of desert : it pleads but mercy , in the iustice of the almighty ; and but mutuall amitie , in the nature of humanitie : in summe , hauing no eagles eye , to looke vpon the sunne , and fearing to looke too high , for feare of a chip in mine eye , i will in these few words , speake in praise of this peerelesse vertue : loue is the grace of nature , and the glory of reason , the blessing of god , and the comfort of the world . peace . peace , is a calme in conceit , where the senses take pleasure , in the rest of the spirit : it is natures holy day after reasons labour , and wisdoms musique in the concords of the minde : it is a blessing of grace , a bounty of mercy , a proofe of loue , and , a preseruer of life : it holds no arguments , knowes no quarrells , is an enemie to sedition , and a continuance of amitie : it is the root of plenty , the tree of pleasure , the fruit of loue , and the sweetnesse of life : it is like the still night , where all things are at rest , and the quiet sleep , where dreams are not troublesome : or the resolued point , in the perfection of knowledge , where no cares , nor doubts make controuersies in opinion : it needs no watch , where is no feare of enemy , nor sollicitor of causes , where agreements are concluded : it is the intent of law , and the fruit of iustice : the end of warre , and the beginning of wealth : it is a grace in a court , and a glory in a kingdom , a blessing in a family , and a happinesse in a common-wealth : it fills the rich mans cofers , and feeds the poore mans labour : it is the wise-mans study , and the good-mans ioy : who loue it , are gracious , who make it , are blessed , who keep it are happy , and who breake it , are miserable : it hath no dwelling with idolatry , nor friendship with falshood , for hir life is in truth , and in hir , all is amen . but lest in the iustice of peace , i may rather be reprooued for my ignorance of hir worth , then thought worthy to speake in hir prayse , with this only conclusion , in the commendation of peace , i will draw to an end , and hold my peace : it was a message of ioy at the birth of christ , a song of ioy , at the imbracement of christ , an assurance of ioy , at the death of christ , and shall be the fulnesse of ioy , at the comming of christ. warre . warre is a scourge of the wrath of god , which by famine , fire , or sword , humbleth the spirits of the repentant , tryeth the patience of the faithfull , and hardneth the hearts of the vngodly : it is the misery of time , and the terror of nature , the dispeopling of the earth , and the ruine of hir beauty : hir life , is action , hir food ; bloud , hir honour , valor , and hir ioy , conquest . shee is valors exercise , and honors aduenture , reasons trouble , and peaces enemy : shee is the stout mans loue , and the weake mans feare , the poore mans toile , and the rich mans plague : shee is the armourers benefactor , and the chirurgions agent , the cowards ague , and the desperats ouerthrow : she is the wish of enuy , the plague of them that wish hir , the shipwracke of life , and the agent for death ; the best of hir is , that shee is the seasoner of the body , and the manager of the minde , for the induring of labor , in the resolution of action : shee thunders in the aire , rips vp the earth , cuts thorough the seas , and consumes with the fire : shee is indeed the inuention of malice , the worke of mischiefe , the musique of hell , and the daunce of the deuill : she makes the end of youth vntimely , and of age wretched , the cities sacke , and the countries beggery : shee is the captaines pride , and the captiues sorrow , the throat of bloud , and the graue of flesh : shee is the woe of the world , the punishment of sinne , the passage of danger , and , the messenger of destruction : she is the wise mans warning , and the fooles paiment , the godly mans griefe , and , the wicked mans game : in summe , so many are her woundes , so mortall her cures , so daungerous her course , and , so deuilish her deuises , that , i will wade no further in her riuers of bloud , but , only , thus conclude in her description : she is gods curse , and mans misery , hells practise , and earthes hell. valor . valor is a vertue in the spirit , which keepes the flesh in subiection : resolues without feare , and trauailes without fainting : she vowes no villany , nor , breakes ; her fidelity , she is patient in captiuity , and pittifull in conquest : her gaine is honor , and , desert her meane , fortune her skorne , and folly , her hate : wisedome is her guide , and conquest her grace , clemency , her praise , and humilitie , her glory : she is youthes ornament , and ages honor ; natures blessing , and vertue ; loue : her life is resolution , & her loue , victory , her triumph , truth , and her fame , vertue : her armes are from antiquitie , and , her cote , full of honor , where , the title of grace , hath her herauldry from heauen she makes a walke of warre , and a sport of danger , an ease , of labour , and a lest , of death : she makes famine , but abstinence , want , but , a patience , sickenesse , but a purge , and death , a puffe : she is the mainteiner of ●arre , the generall of an army , ●he terror of an enemy , and the ●ory of a campe : she is the no●lenesse of the minde , and the ●●rength of the body , the li●e of ●ope , and the death of feare ▪ with 〈◊〉 handfull of men , shee ouer●hrowes a multitude , and with a ●daine amazement , she discom●tes a campe : she is the reuenge ●f wrong , and the defence of ●ight , religions champion , and , ●ertues choise : in briefe , let this ●uffice in her commendation : she ●rengthened dauid , and conque●ed goliah , she ouerthrowes her ●nemies , and conquers her selfe . resolution . resolution is the honoure● valor , in the quarrell of ve●tue , for the defence of right , an● redresse of wrong : she , beate● the march , pitcheth the battaile plants the ordinance , and maintaines the fight : her eare is stop● from disswasions , her eie aim●● only at honor , her hand takes the sword of valor , and her heart thinkes of nothing , but victory● shee giues the charge , makes the stand , assaults the fort , and enters the breach : shee breakes the pikes , faceth the shot , dampes the souldior , and defeates the army : shee looseth no time , slippes no occasion , dreads no danger , and , cares for no force ; ●he is valors life , and vertues ●oue , iustice honor , and , mer●ies glorie : shee beates downe castles , fires shippes , wades ●●orough the sea , and walkes ●●orough the world : she makes ●isedome , her guide , and will , ●er seruant , reason , her compa●ion , and honor , her mistris : ●he is a blessing in nature , and a ●eauty , in reason , a grace in in●ention , and , a glory in action : ●he studies no plots , when her ●latforme is set downe , and defers ●o time , when her houre is pre●xed : shee standes vpon no ●elpes , when she knowes her own ●orce , and in the execution of her ●ill , she is a rocke irremoueable : ●he is the kings will , without contradiction , and the iudges ●oome , without exception , the ●chollers profession , without al●eration , and the souldiers honor without comparison : in summ● so many are the groundes of he● grace , and the iust causes of he● commendation , that , leauin● her worth , to the discription 〈◊〉 better wits , i will in these few wordes , conclude my conceit● her . she is the stoutnesse of th● heart , and the strength of th● minde , a gift of god , and , th● glory of the world. honor. honor is a title of grace giuen by the spirit of vertue , to the desert of valor , in th● defence of truth : it is wronged in basenesse , and abused in vn●worthinesse , endangered in wantonnesse , and lost in wickednes● it nourisheth art , and crownet● wit , graceth learning , and glorifieth wisedome : in the herauldry of heauen , it hath the richest cote , being , in nature allied , vnto all the houses of grace , which in the heauen of heauens , attend the king of kings : her escucheon is a heart , in which , in the shield of faith , she beares on the anckor of hope , the helmit of saluation : she quarters with wisedome in the resolution of valor , and in the line of charitie , she is of the house of iustice : her supporters are time , and patience , her mantle , truth , and her crest , christ treading vpon the globe of the world : her imprese , corona mea , christus : in briefe , finding her state so high , that i am not able to climbe vnto the praise of her perfection , i will leaue her royalty to the register of most princely spirits , and in my humble hearts thus only deliuer my opinion of her : she is vertues due , and graces gift , valors wealth , and reasons ioy . truth . truth is the glory of time , and the daughter of eternity : a title of the highest grace , and , a note of a diuine nature : she is the life of religion , the light of loue , the grace of wit , and the crowne of wisedome , she is the beauty of valor , the brightnesse of honor , the blessing of reason , and the ioy of faith : her truth is pure gold , her time , is right pretious , her word is most gratious , and her will , is most glorious : her essence is in god , and , her dwelling with his seruants , her will in his wisedome , and her worke , to his glory : she is honored in loue , and graced in constancie , in patience admired , and in charity , beloued she is the angels worshippe , the virgins fame , the saints blisse , and the martirs crowne : she is the kings greatnesse , and his councels , goodnesse , his subiects peace , and his kingdomes praise : she is the life of learning , and the light of the law , the honor of trade , and the grace of labor : she hath a pure eye , a plaine hand , a piercing wit and a perfect heart : she is wisedomes walke in the way of holinesse , and takes vp her rest , but , in the resolution of goodnes : her tongue neuer trippes , her heart neuer faintes , her hand neuer failes , and her faith , neuer feares : her church is without schisme , her city without fraude , her court , without vanity , and her kingdome , without villany : in summe , so infinite is her excellence , in the construction of all sence , that i will thus only conclude in the wonder of her worth : she is the nature of perfection , in the perfection of nature , where god , in christ , shewes the glory of christianity . time. time is a continuall motion , which from the highest moouer , hath his operation in all the subiects of nature , according to their qualitie , or disposition : he is in proportion , like a circle , wherein , hee walketh with an euen passage , to the point of his prefixed place : hee attendeth none , and yet is a servant to all ; he is best emploied by wisedome , and , most abused , by folly : he carrieth both the sworde and the scepter , for the vse both of iustice , and mercie : he is present in all inuention , and , can not be spared from action : he is the treasury of graces in the memory of the wise , and , bringes them forth to the world , vpon necessity of their vse : he openeth the windowes of heauen , to giue light vnto the earth , and , spreades the cloake of the night to couer the rest of labor : he closeth the eie of nature , and waketh the spirit of reason , he trauelleth thorough the minde , and is visible , but , to the eie of vnderstanding : he is swifter then the winde , and yet , as still , as a stone , pretious in his right vse , but , perilous in the contrarie : he is soone founde of the carefull soule , and quickly mist in the want of his comfort , he is soone lost in the lacke of emploiment , and not to be recouered without a world of endeuour : he is the true mans peace , and the theeues perdition , the good mans blessing , and the wicked mans curse : he is knowne to be , but , his being vnknowne , but only in his being , in a being aboue knowledge : he is a riddle not to be read , but in the circumstance of description , his name , better knowne then his nature , and hee that maketh best vse of him , hath the best vnderstanding so him : he is like the study of the philosophers stone , where , a man may see wonders , and yet short of his expectation : shee is at the inuention of warre , armes the souldier , maintaines the quarrell , and makes the peace : hee is the courtiers play-fellow , and , the souldiers schole-master , the lawyers gaine , and the merchantes , hope : his life , is motion , and his loue action , his honor , patience , and his glory , perfection : he masketh modestie and blusheth virginitie , honoreth humilitie , and graceth , charitie : in summe , finding it a world to walke thorough the wonder of his worth , i will thus briefely deliuer , what i finde truely of him : hee is the agent of the liuing , and the register of the dead , the direction of god , and a great worke-master in the world . death . death is an ordinance of god , for the subiecting of the world , which is limited his time for the correction of pride ; in his substance , he is nothing , being but onely a depriuation , and in his true description , a name without a nature : he is seene , but in a picture : heard , but in a tale : feared , but in a passion : and felt , but in a pinch : he is a terror , but to the wicked , and a skar-crow , but to the foolish : but to the wise , a way of comfort , and to the godly , the gate of life : he is the case of paine , and the end of sorrow , the liberty of the imprisoned , and the ioy of the faithfull : it is both the wound of sinne , and the wages of sinne , the sinners feare , and the sinners doom . he is the sextons agent , and the hangmans reuenue , the rich mans dirge , and the mourners merry-day . hee is a course of time , but vncertaine , till hee come , and welcome but to such , as are weary of their liues : it is a message from the physitian , when the patient is past cure , and if the writ be well made , it is a supra sedeas for all diseases : it is the heauens stroke , and the earths steward , the follower of sicknesse , and the forerunner to hell. in summe , hauing no pleasure to ponder too much of the power of it , i will thus conclude my opinion of it ▪ it is a stinge of sinne , and the terror of the wicked , the crowne of the godly , the staire of vengeance , and a stratagem of the deuill . faith. faith is the hand of the soule , which layeth hold of the promises of christ in the mercy of the almighty : shee hath a bright eye , and a holy eare , a cleare heart , and a sure foot : shee is the strength of hope , the trust of truth , the honour of amitie , and the ioy of loue : shee is rare among the sonnes of men , and hardly found among the daughters of weomen ; but among the sonnes of god , she is a conueyance of their inheritance , and among the daughters of grace , she is the assurance of their portions . hir dwelling is in the church of god , hir conuersation with the saints of god , her delight with the beloued of god , and her life is in the loue of god : shee knowes no falshood , distrusts no truth , breakes no promise , and coines no excuse , but as bright as the sunne , as swift as the winde , as sure as the rocke , and as pure as the gold , she lookes towards heauen , but liues in the world , in the soules of the elect , to the glory of election : she was wounded in paradise , by a dart of the deuill , and healed of her hurt , by the death of christ iesus : shee is the poore mans credit , and the rich mans praise , the wisemans care , and the good mans cognizance . in summe , finding her worth , in words hardly to be expressed , i will in these few words onely deliuer my opinion of her : shee is gods blessing , and mans blisse , reasons comfort , and vertues glory . feare . feare is a fruit of sinne , which droue the first father of our flesh , from the presence of god , and hath bred an imperfection in a number of the worse part of his posteritie : it is the disgrace of nature , the foile of reason , the maime of wit , and the slur of vnderstanding : it is the palsie of the spirit , where the soule wanteth faith , and the badge of a coward , that cannot abide the sight of a sword : it is weaknesse in nature , and a wound in patience , the death of hope , and the entrance into despaire : it is childrens awe , and fooles amazement , a worme in conscience , and a curse to wickednesse . in briefe , it makes the coward stagger , the lyer stammer , the thiefe stumble , and the traitor start : it is a blot in armes , a blur in honour , the shame of a souldier , and the defeat of an army . finis ▪ whimzies: or, a nevv cast of characters brathwaite, richard, ?- . approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : - (eebo-tcp phase ). a stc estc s this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : ) whimzies: or, a nevv cast of characters brathwaite, richard, ?- . [ ], , - , [ ], , [ ] p. printed by f[elix] k[ingston] and are to be sold by ambrose rithirdon at the signe of the bulls-head in pauls church-yard, london : . by richard brathwait. printer's name from stc. the first two leaves and the last leaf are blank. the title page is a cancel with a conjugate blank leaf. variant: with cancellandum title page, with "sold by r. b[ostock?]." in imprint; [ ] p. of preliminaries. "a cater-character, throwne out of a boxe by an experienc'd gamester" has separate pagination, and dated title page with "sold by r.b." in the imprint; register is continuous. variant: imprint has "sold by a.r.". includes index. reproduction of the original in the henry e. huntington library and art gallery. created by converting tcp files to tei p using tcp tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between and available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the , texts created during phase of the project have been released into the public domain as of january . anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. % (or pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf- unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p , characters represented either as utf- unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng characters and characteristics -- early works to . - tcp assigned for keying and markup - apex covantage keyed and coded from proquest page images - olivia bottum sampled and proofread - olivia bottum text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion whimzies : or , a new cast of characters . nova , non nota delectant . london , printed by f. k. and are to be sold by ambrose rithirdon at the signe of the bulls-head in pauls church-yard . . to his mvch honored friend , sir alexander radcliffe , the accomplishment of his noblest wishes . sir , some have i heard affirme , ( but more tarily , i hope , then truly ) that to bee a knight and a scholler , was the mirror of knighthood : howsoever the tenet hold , sure i am , that you are this mirror . being as you are ennobled by des●…ent , so enabled by desert ; a patron to the le●…rned professant , and in all le●…ing a ●…ich proficient . this i●… was , and this onely , which first induc'd me , contrarie to that native di●…position everbred in me , so freely to tender my selfe to the knowledge of you ; and which hath ever since stamped in mee so deepe an impression of you . let others affect your title , while i live to honour your selfe . the generous and free goodnesse of your minde , is my object , than which it is not possible to treate of a more attractive subject . this is to bee incomparably valued above any outward good . let this serve for the prelude , not to delude you , for you are wiser ; but to expresse my selfe really unto you , whose noble s●…ccesse i doe intimately tender . you may bee pleased to remember that at my last entercourse with you , it was my promise upon a precedent purpose to addresse some small memoriall to publike view under your name , in lieu of those many respects which i beare you . which promises , i must ingenuously conf●…sse , ( as in this kinde , so in all others justly grounded ) it hath beene ever my course religiously to observe . for in comming short of performance in what wee promise , argues either a precipitate rashnesse in the promiser , or inconstancie in his resolves , or forgetfulnesse in what he undertakes . it is recommended unto us by authenticke storie , that it was the usuall observation both of a roman emperor , and of an english monarch , never to promise any thing but what they registred and set downe with their owne hands : which rule requireth imitation even of in●…eriours . an expression whereof i have here made in the tender of this alphabeticall gradation of characters , to your generous & ingenious veiw . neither ( indeede ) without a preceeding ground of reason did i make choyse of this subject . for howsoever the argument may seeme much bet : yet in my opinion may it bee much bettered both in style and substance . many characters ( i confesse ) have beene published both in former times , when the ignorance of the age could scarcely render the ambiguitie of the word : as likewise in these more refined times of ours , wherein , as in habit and attyre , so in discourses of this nature , nothing but rarities ( bee they never so light ) can afford delight . but to give them their true and native character , they relished more of aphorisme . than character . for to suite them with their approvedst and retentivest title , what else are characters but stampes or impressures , noting such an especiall place , person , or office ; and leaving such a marke or cognizance upon it , as the conceit may neither taste of too much lightnesse ; nor the cloze of so wittie an observance leave too much bitternesse , nor the whole passage or series incline to too much dulnesse ? truth is , he that should strive in each particular , either for style or subject , to please the various palats of all men , would prove an excellent taylour to fashion this age ; & might in time make a coate for the moone . strong lines have beene inrequest ; but they grew disrelishing , because they smelled too much of the lampe and opinionate singularitie . clinchings likewise were held nimble fl●…shes ; but affect●…tion spoyl'd all , and discovered their levitie . characterisme holds good concurrence , and runn●…s with the smoothest current in this age ; so it bee not wrapp'd up in too much ambiguitie . hee writes best , that affects least ; and effects most . for such as labor too intentively to please themselves , they for most part make it their labour to please none but themselves . this hath beene ever my maxime , that singularitie and affectation are antypodes to iudgem●…nt and discre●…ion . selfe-opinion mak's a mans selfe his owne minion . he is the true embleme of narcissus , and doates more on his owne shadow , then an others substance . but i will not looke too much on these glo-wormes ; they are soiles to the purest paper : leaving their spongie labours to the worst of censure . for these few digested papers , ( wherein you shall too highly prize mee , if at vacant and retyred houres you daigne onely to peruse mee ) i dare confidently avouch , you shall finde me to have preferred the pi●…h before the rinde , and caused the maid to attend upon her mistrisse . my provision was how to furnish the maine building : for other ornaments or imbellishments of art , they tendered themselves ; they were not much sought after . now it resteth that this character or token ( for so the word may import ) of my true zeale , unto your noble selfe , retaine that impression in you , which he retaines that honours you . these are more lasting memorialls than materiall jewels , and to the judicious more imcomparably pretious . the richest cabinet is the minde ; the treasures thereof purer than the oare of any mine . which when wee communicate to our friend , wee make him really ours , wee enfeoffe him in ours ; yea , wee incorporate him in us , and make him individually ours . so may we ever bee , till i surcease to bee clitus-alexandrinus . to the equall reader . characters in this age , may be properly resembled to squibbs or crackers ; they give a cracke and a flash , and so dye : or to passing faire faces , but ill-fauoured ; at which the more we looke , the 〈◊〉 we like . or to raw and ill-drest meat , which procures in the longing appetite a loathing ; being to be egested long before it come to bee digested , or to the growth of mushrom's , who no sooner florish than perish : or to the first flourishes of trees , whose bloomes and blossomes are so tende●… , as they cannot repell the violent distemper of any weather . thus ev●…ry post displaies their post●…re . but here be fruits ( equall reader , for so i would have thee ) of former setting , deeper rooting and longer promising . if thou beest ignorant , here is an a. b. c. for thee , in this table alphabeticall . if solid , here are plenty of passages , moving and materiall . what is wanting then but thy equall acceptance ? in confidence whereof , clitvs will retire , to call forth this iury , which consists of foure and twenty ; but neither so good men nor true as the state would have them . whimzies : or , a new cast of characters . . an almanack-maker is an annuall author , no lesse constant in his m●…thod then ma●…r ; enlarging his yeerely edition with a figure or cipher . he cites as familiarly , as if they were his familiars , euclid , ptolomi●… , ticho-brache , &c. but ▪ beleeve it , many have spoke of robin hood , that never shot in his bow . hee scrapes acquaintance of a fortu●…ate gentleman , one 〈◊〉 , whom he erron●…ously takes for brother of that feigned knight parismus ; whose name hee interprets to bee , bo●…i ominis captatio , whereof he himselfe for his part , was never capable . horizons , hemisphear●…s , horoscopes , apogaeum's , hypogaeum's , perigaeum's , astrolabes , cycles , epicycles are his usuall dialect ; yet i am pe●…swaded they may bee something to eate , for ought he knowes . his frequent repetition of mazzaroth , 〈◊〉 , orion , and the pleiades ▪ proclaime him highly versed in the astrologicall 〈◊〉 of io●… , whom he resembles in a paralell line of poverty , rather than patience . hee ha's the true situation and just proportion of the p●…incipall angles or houses of the heaven or firmament : yet can hardly pay house rent for his ow●…e . forty shillings is his yeerely pension upon every impression : but his vailes are meaner , unlesse he have the art for stolen goods to cast a figure : wherein , trust me , hee h●…'s a prety smattering . he walks in the clouds , and prates as familiarly of the in●…luence of the moone , as if h●…e had b●…ene the man that was in her . hee would make you beleeve he●… had a smacke of poetry , by the verses which hee ●…ixeth above every moneth , but doe not credit him , hee is guiltlesse of that art : onely some stolen shreads he hath ●…aked out from the kenn●…ll of other authors , which most 〈◊〉 hee assumes to himselfe , and makes an additament to his labours . whole summer nights long hee lyes on his backe , as if hee were melldew'd or planet-strucke , gazing on the starrie gallerie : and would make you believe that hee knew the names and markes of all the oxen that draw charles waine . hee talkes much of the . signes , yet i am confident , that one might perswade him that the cardinals hat , or sarazens head were one of them . he keeps a terrible quarter with his iacobs staffe , which he conjectures was first found at iacobs well ; as his erring erra pater informes him : for other cabals hee disclaimes them . the memorable work of co●…veying the n●…w river from ware to london ▪ was the issue of his braine , if you may believe him : yea , he will tell you , the state is much engaged to his notions . he ha'●… some small scruple of physitian in him , and can most empyrically discourse of the s●…ate of your body : but had he st●…re of patients , hee would slaughter more than a pest●…lence . he ha's a little judgement in your chris●… : and which is best season for 〈◊〉 : yet hee knowes not , whether phlebotomie bee a man or a woman . not a high-w●…y m●…n in europe can direct you better in the roade : all which he ha's by instira●…ion , for he scarce ever 〈◊〉 out of smoke o'●…h citie . he ha's excellent observations for planting , plo●…ng , setting , sowing ▪ with other ●…xperimentall rule●… of 〈◊〉 , yet never was master of ●… plough in all his ti●…e . ce●…taine ( but most 〈◊〉 ) g●…erall notions hee 〈◊〉 of t●…e seas●…ns of weathers , which hee express●…th in such strange and unbaptized language , as like the delph●…an sword , it may cut either way . about four a clock at night ( saith he ) which may as soone fall out at foure a clocke i' th morning for ought he know's , there will fall some mizling , drizling drops , with some whistling , rustling windes , &c. all which he findes out of the depth of art. he professeth some skill in palmistry ; wherein trust me , the gip●…ies do farre out-strippe him : poring on the table of your hand , hee fetcheth a deepe sigh , thinking of his owne unfurnish'd table at home , than which none can bee barer . and examining the lines of your table , he alwayes findes his owne to be most ominous . hee shewes himselfe deeply read in antiquitie , by the artlesse draught of his threed-bare chronologie ; and imps his illiterate worke , for want of better s●…uffe , with a trite discourse of weights and measures : most ponderously dividing them into troy and aver depois : where hee findes his owne gold still too light by many graines for either scale . his cage ( or studie if you please ) is hung about with moath-eaten mappes , orbes , globes , perspectives ; with which hee can worke wonders . his shelves for want of authors , are subully inter-woven with spiders ca●…les , which hee makes the stupid vulgar beleeve , are pure elixirs extracted from the influence of the moone . it is the height of his ambition to aspire to the credit of a blanke almanack . ; upon which election hee holds himselfe a 〈◊〉 author . if famous , he seldome dies ; for some ●…iour artist will assume to himselfe his name . but if he die , an other phoenix-like , will bee forth with raked out of his ashes . his death makes him in this infinitely happy ; it is not b●…tter to him in respect of his su●…stance : and in this onely hee expresseth hi●…e a scholer ; he d●…es poore . in a word , this may be his comfort , he leaves his kindred in a settled and composed peace : for they neede not fall by the eares together for his goods . that which he long discoursed of but understood not ( i meane his clymactericall yeare ) ha's now attach'd hi●… : and so ends his perpetuall a●…nack . . a ballad-monger is the ignominious ni●…kname of a penu●…ious poet of ●…hom he partakes in no●…g but in povertie . his straine ( in my opinion ) would sort best with a ●…unerall elegie , for hee writes most pittifully . hee ha's a singular gift of imagination , for hee can descant on a mans exec●… long before his confession . nor comes his invention farre short of his imagination ; for want of truer r●…lations , for a neede he can finde you out a sussex dragon , some sea or inland monster , drawne out by some shoelane man in a go●…nlike feature , to enforce more horror in the beholder . hee ha's an excellent facultie in this ; hee ha's one tune in store that will indifferently serve for any ditty . h●… 〈◊〉 your onely man in request ●…or christmas carols . his workes are lasting-pasted monuments u●…on the insides of country ale-houses , w●… they may 〈◊〉 without expence of a fa●…ing : which makes their thirstie author crie out in this manner , if he have so much latin : quò licuit chartis , nō licet ire mihi . he stands much upon stanza's , which halt and hobble as l●…mely as th●…t one legg'd ca●…tor that sings them : it would doe a mans heart good to see how twinne-like hee and his songman couple . wits of equal size , though more holding vailes befall the voyce . now you shall see them ( if both their stockes aspire to that strength ) droppe into some blinde alehouse , where these two naked uirginians will call for a great potte , a toast , and a pipe . where you may imagine the first and last to be only called for out of an humour ; but the midst out of meere necessitie , to allay hunger . yet to see how they will hug , hooke , and shrugge over these materials in a chimney corner ( o polyhymnia ) it would make the muses wonder ! but now they are parted : and ste●…tor ha's fitted his batillus with a subject : wheron hee vowes to bestow better lines than ever stucke in the garland of good will. by this time with botches and old ends , this balladbard ha's expressed the quintessence of his genius , extracted from the muddie spirit of bottle-ale and froth . but all is one for that ; his ' rinkilo must have it , if he wil●… come to his price , yet before hee have it , it must suffer the presse . by this , n●…ck ballad ha's got him a quarterne of this new impression ; with which hee mounts holborne as merry as a carter ; and takes his stand against some eminent bay-win●…ow ; where he ven●…s his stuffe . hee needs not dance attendance ; for in a trice you shall see him guarded with a ianizarie of cost rmongers , and countr●…y gooselings : while his nipps , i●…s , bungs and ` prina●…o's , of whom he hol●…s in fee , oft-times prevent the lan yer , by diving too deepe into his clients pocket ; while h●…e gives too deepe attention to this wo●…derfull bal●…d . b●…t stale balla●…-newes , like s●…ale fish , when it beginnes to smell of the pa●…yer , are not for queas●…e stomacks . you must therefore imagine , that by this time they are cashier'd the cit●…e and mu●… now ride poast for the countrey : where they are no lesse admir'd than a gyant in a pageant : till at last they grow so common there too , as every poore milk maid can chant and chirpe it under h●…r cow ; which she useth as an harmelesse charme to make her let downe her milke . now therefore you must suppose our facetious ballad-monger , as one nectar-infused with some poetical liquor , re-ascending the horsehoof'd mount , and with a cuppe of sixe ( for his token-pledge will bee taken for no more ) hee presum's to represent unto the world a new conceite , intitled ; a proper new ball●…d , to the tune of bragadeery round . which his chant●…leere sings with varietie of ayres ( having as you may suppose , an ins●…rumētall polyphon in the cra●…e of his nose . ) now he 〈◊〉 a n●…urall base , then a perpet●…all treble , and ends with a countert●…nure . you shall heare him feigne an artfull straine through the nose , purposely to 〈◊〉 uate into the attention of the purer brother-hood : but all in vaine ; they blush at the 〈◊〉 of this knave , and demurely passing by him , call him the lost childe . now , for his author , you must not take him for one of those pregnant criticke suburbane wits , who make worke for the fidlers of the citie . for those are more knaves , than fooles , but these quite contrary . in those you shall finde salt , sense , and verse ; but in these none of all three . what then is ●…o bee expected from so sterile a pernassian , where impudence is his best conductor , ignorance his best instructor , and indigence his best proctor ? shall we then close with him thus ? hee is constant in nothing but in his clothes . he 〈◊〉 casts his slough but against b●…tholomew faire : where hee may ●…asually e●…danger the purchase of a cast suite : else , trust me , hee is no shifter . in a word , ●…et his poo●…e corpes a sheete to s●…rowd them in at his dying , they 〈◊〉 more than his ●…use could ever make him worth while hee was living . . a corranto-coiner . is a state-newes-monger ; and his owne genius is his intelligencer . his mint goes weekely , and he coines monie by it . howsoeuer , the more intelligent merchants doe jeere him , the vulgar doe admire him , holding his novels oracular . and these are usually se●…t for tokens or 〈◊〉 curtsies betwixt city and countrey . hee hol●…s most constantly o●…e fo●…me or me●…hod of disc●…urse . he ●…etaines some militarie words of art , which hee shoot●…s at randome ; no matt●…r where they h●…t , they cannot wound any . he ever leaves some passages doubtfull , as if they were some more intimate secrecies of state , clozing his sentence abruptly , — with heereafter you shall heare more . which words , i conceive , he o●…ely useth as baites , to make the appetite of the reader more eager in his next weeks pursuit for a more satisfying labour . some generall-erring relations he pick●…s up , as crummes or fragments , from a frequented ordinario : of which shreads he shapes a cote to fit any credulous foole that will weare it . you sh●…ll never observe him make any reply in places of publike concourse ; hee ingenuously acknowledges hims●…lfe to bee more bounden to the happinesse of a retentive me●…ory , than eyther ability 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . or pregnancy of conceite . hee carryes his table-booke●…ill ●…ill about with him , but dares not pull it out publikely : yet no sooner is the table drawne , than he turnes notarie ; by which meanes hee recovers the charge of his ordinarie . paules is his walke in winter ; moorfi●…lds in sommer . where the whole discipline , designes , projects , and exploits of the st●…tes , netherlands , poland , switzer , crim chan and all , are within the compasse of one quadrangle walke most judiciously and punctually discovered . but long he must not walke , lest hee make his n●…wes-presse stand . thanks to his good invention , he can collect much out of a very little : no matter thou●…h more experienc'd judgements disprove him ; hee is anonymo●… , & that wil secure h●…m . to make his reports more credible ( or which he and his stationer onely aymes at ) more vendible , in the relation of every occurrent : he renders you the day of the moneth ; and to approve himselfe a scholler , he annexeth these latine parcells , or parcell-gilt sentences , veteri stylo , novo stylo . palisado's , parapets , counterscarfes , forts , fortresses , rampiers , bulwark's are his usual dialect . hee writes as if he would doe some mischiefe ; yet the charge of his shot is but paper . hee will sometimes start i●… his sleepe , as one affrighted with v●…sions ; which i can imp●…te to no other cause but to the terrible skirmishes which h●… discours'd of , in the day time . he ha's now tyed himselfe apprentice to the trade of minting : and must weekly performe his taske , or ( beside the losse w●…ich accrues to himselfe ) he disappoi●…ts a number of no small fooles , whose discourse , discipline , and discretion is drill'd from his state service . these you shall know by their mondai's morning question , a little before exchange time ; stationer have you any newes . which they no sooner purchase than peruse ; and early by next morning ( lest their countrey friend should bee deprived of the benefit of so rich a prize ) they freely vent the substance of it , with some illustrations , if their understanding can furn sh them that way . he would make you beleeve that hee were knowne to some forraine intelligence , but i hold him the wisest man that hath the least faith to beleeve him . for his relations he stands resolute , whether they become approved or evinced for untruths ; which if they bee , hee ha's contr●…cted with his face never to blush for the matter . hee holds especiall concurrence with two philosophicall sects , though hee bee ignora●…t of the t●…nets of either : in the collection of his observations he is pe●…ipateticull , for hee walkes circularly : in the dig●…stion of his relations he is stoicall , and sits regularly . hee ha's an alph●…beticall table of all the chiefe commanders , generals , leaders , provinciall townes , rivers , ports , creekes , with other fitting materials to furnish his imaginary building . whisperings , mu●…trings , & bare suppositions are suffici●…nt grounds for the authoritie of his relat●…ons . it is strange to see with what greedinesse this ayrie chameleon being all lungs and winde , will swallow a receite of newes , as i●… it ●…ere physicall : yea , with ●…at frontlesse insinuation he will scrue himselfe i●…to the acquaintance of some knowing intelligencers , who trying the cask by his hollow sound , do familiarly g●…ll him . i am of opinion , were all his voluminous centuries of fabulo●…s relations compiled , ●…hey ●…ould vye in number with the 〈◊〉 of many fo●…erunning ages . you shall many ti●…es finde in his 〈◊〉 , pasquils ▪ & corranto's miserable di●…ractions ; here a city taken by force , long before it bee besieged ; there a countrey laid wa●…e before ever the enemie ent●…red . he many times tortures his r●…ader with impertinencies : y●…t are these the tolerablest p●…ssages throughout all his discourse . he is the very landskip of our age . he is all ayre ; his eare alwayes open to all r●…ports ; which how incredible soever , must passe for currant , and find vent , purpos●…ly to get him currant money , and delude the vulgar . yet our best comfort is , his chymera's live not long ; a weeke is the longest in the citie , and af●…er their arrivall , little longer in the countrey . which past , they melt like butter , or m●…tch a pipe and so burne . but ind●…ede , most commonly it is the height of their ambition , to aspire to the imployment of stopping mu●…tard-pots , or wrapping up pepper , pouder , s●…aves-aker , &c. which done , they ●…xpire . now for his habit , wapping and longlane will give him his character . hee honours nothing with a more indeered observance , nor hugges ought with more intimacie than antiquitie , which hee expresseth even in his 〈◊〉 . i have knowne some love fish best that smell'd of the panyer ; and the like humour reignes in him , for hee loves that apparell best th●…t ha's a taste o●… the brok●…r . some have held hi●… for a scholler , but trust m●…e such are in a palpable errour , for hee never yet understood so much latine , as to construe gallob●…lgicus . for his librarie , ( his owne continuations excepted ) it consists of very few or no bookes : he holds himselfe highly engaged to his in●… , if it can purchase him victuals , for authors hee never converseth with them , unlesse they walke in p●…les . for his discourse it is ordinari●… : yet hee will make you a terrible repetition of desperate commanders , unheard of exployts ; intermixing with all his owne personall service . but this is not in all companies : for his experience hath sufficiently inform'd him in this principle : that as nothing workes more on the simple than things strange and incredibly rare ; so nothing discovers his weaknesse more among the knowing and judicious , than to insist by way of discourse , on reports above conceite . 〈◊〉 th●…se therefore , hee is as mute as a fish . but now imagine his lampe ( if he be worth one ) to be neer●…ly burnt out ; his inventing genius , wear●…d and surfoote with raunging over so many unk●…owne regions ; and himsel●…e wasted with the ●…ruitlesse expence of much paper , resig●…ing his place of weekly collecti●…ns to an other : whom in hope of some little share , h●…e ha's to his station●…r recommended , while he lives either poorely respected , or dyes mis●…rably ●…uspended . the rest i end with his owne cloze ; next weeke you sh●…ll heare more . a decoy is a brave metall'd blade , as apt to take as to give . h●…s morni●…g preparative is , what sconce shall we build ? though he never bare office in the ward where he lives , he ha's the word of a constable , and can bid stand . he is a witty hypocrit ; for sometimes i●… occasion serve , he can play the civill div●…ll , and cou●…terfeite a demure 〈◊〉 . he will cloze with you in any ●…rgument out of a pregnant-prese●…t conceite : s●… as hee would make one 〈◊〉 he had the eleme●…ts of all learning : bu●… hold him to it , and he will ●…all ●…ff , a●… hee doth in his whole cour●…e ●…rom the practice of goodnesse . to 〈◊〉 his frie●… or rather befriend 〈◊〉 , h●…e will turne true asi●…n knight , and sweare for you most pragmatically . a more affable or sociable companion the world cannot afford you : for hee will mould himselfe to your humour , be it in the quest of busi●…esse or pleasure : your owne shadow cannot bee more attendant , nor more obsequiously observant . his onely desi●…e is but to know where you lodge ( and for want of his high-road revenewes ) hee will bee your incessant visitant . having by this wrought o●… your easie temper , and in your bosome purchased him a friendly harbour : hee pretends occasions abroad ; and complaines his horse is lame , and what injurie the base f●…rrier had done him . this in civility you cannot chuse but take notice of , especialy to so intimate a friend , who ha's so many times vow'd to engage his person for your honour . by this hee mounts your palfrey , and makes for the countrey ; where if he doe not speede himselfe of a fortune by the way ; next friday in smithfield you s●…all finde your demilance in the faire . whom if you should chance to owne , yet were you never a whit neerer your owne : for your sweete-bosome friend will not sticke to face you and sweare you out of him . nay , hee will taxe you of impudence and countenanc'd by some of his own co●…rades , vow revenge for this undigested imputation . now , i●… your discretion will not bee thus outbrav'd no●… baffelt , hee will shew himselfe tru●… sparke of valour , and encounter you where you will or dare . but set up this for your rest , if you adjorne time , you shall as soone meete with your horse as ●…im . but these a●…e but pe●…ty assayes to other of his master-peeces . by th●…s hee hath taken upon him the title of a great heire ; which is seconded by the approvement of his 〈◊〉 f●…ye . all cubs of one lit●…er , and equally fur●…ished ●…or a cheating lecture . this some rich mercer . milliner , or taylour , or some other necessary appendice of a gentleman is presently pos●…est of ; who become humble supplicants for his custome , and by corrupting the groome of his chamb●…r , ( who was corrupt enough already ) purposely cheat●… themselves with expence of some ●…w crownes . along goes ou●… de●…oy ▪ as a●… imaginarie h●…ire , well accoutred and attended , towards his 〈◊〉 of cust●…me . 〈◊〉 , as o●…e borne to more m●…anes than bra●…nes , hee be●…aves himselfe like a very gandergoose , which strengthens his credu●…ous creditors gainefull expectance , hoping to make an essex calfe of him . but his acquaintance begets a good effect in them , for it ever ends with repentance . but these are but his civill citie cheats , for want of employment abroad . for howsoever his name , in its owne proper signification seeme to render him , his profession ha's proclaim'd him an universall 〈◊〉 . publike faires are his revenewes ; and there is nothing which hee keepes better in heart tha●… their time . he ha's his varietie of led suites : and can ( if neede require ) counterfeate the habit of grazier , gallant , or citizen all in one day . with which habits he playes the cunning impostor , and deludes those whose cond●…n hee 〈◊〉 : he had neede bee one of volpon●…'s true-bred cubbes that shall smell him out . private alleyes and by-lanes are his sanctuaryes in the citie : but places of publike frequent in the countrey . h●…e ha's more d●…xes than a gipsie , which hee makes use of , ei●…her for receiving his purchase , or for informing him of a prey . if at any time hee shall bee accused or attached by some simple count●…ey officer : ●…ee affronts him with such biggswolne words of points of reputa●…on ▪ g●…ntile , estimation , detraction , derogation ; as holding all these to be severall titles of his honour , hee not onely releases him , but most humbly complaining , invites him to a dinner ; lest his too rash attach of a gentleman of ●…rship , ( for 〈◊〉 his ignorance holds him ) should bring him in danger . which simplicitie of his our decoy observes , and workes upon it . hee must have his reputation salv'd with some 〈◊〉 album , or hee will not sit downe with this disgrace . which ( to prevent all ensuing harme , taking him bound withall that hee shall stirre up no powerfull friend against him , whereof our cheate pretends a myriad ) this officiall offall applyes , to cure the ulcer of his impostum'd reputation ; and so they part , a foole and a foist . you shall finde him now and then betting with some of his rooking consorts in bowl-alleyes ; where if a young novice come , he stands confident of a purchase . you shall see him presently ( yet with a reserved counterfeit civility ) cloze with him . his owne 〈◊〉 shall not seeme more intimate . but our young mast●…r still goes by weeping-●…rosse ; he leaves as few crummes of comfort in his purse , as haire on his chinne , or wit in his pate . it is above the reach of conceite , to observe him , how understandingly he will converse with a countrey farmer , after hee ha's saluted him at the 〈◊〉 doore . his tale is of a tur●…e , his matter a mattocke , his plea a pl●…ugh . but the catastrophe is a peece of plate , which he ever leaves the country-man in pledge for . to display him by his garbe , or describe him by his garment , were a taske of some difficultie ▪ hee sorts a●…d suites himselfe purposely to foole the world , i●… such varietie . sometimes you shall see him n●…ate and b●…ske , and accoutred bravely : next day , like one at oddes with himselfe , nitty a●… na●…y . which inde●…d , is his tru●… naturall garbe , that best become him : and may bee best preserv'●… in regard of those uncertaine veils which befall him . hee may for most part compare with those brave roman emperours for the manner of his death ; for hee seldome dyes in his bed . hee hopes one day to be advanc'd above the residue of his fellowes , which i conjecture must either bee on the pillorie or the gallowes : where i leave him . . an exchange ▪ man is the peremptorie br●…nch of an intergatorie ; what do 〈◊〉 ? he would make you b●…eve , that hee will furnish you 〈◊〉 ; but such profuse boun●…y 〈◊〉 ●…ot pay scot and lot ; your mony therefore must be your p●…edge , ●…efore you have his ●…inket . it is a wonder to s●…e what var●…ety of knick-k●…acks he ha's in so small a compasse . his quest of i●…quiry is , ●…at is most in request : so as , 〈◊〉 shoppe co●…sists as much of fa●…n as 〈◊〉 ▪ forme as 〈◊〉 . it would make one muse how ●…ver so many g●…w-gawes should finde vent in a wise state ; and yet the l●…bouring invention of the braine is ●…ver teeming and produci●…g so●… eye-temp●…g bab●…e or other , to allure the ne●…fangle passenger . the hurrii●… of a coach is as pleasi●…g me●… to 〈◊〉 in his expe●…tance , ●… th●… last sound before a new-play is to an i●…ching audience . w●…en the simp●…e goe to market , 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 get mony . by 〈◊〉 ●…y l●…dy w●…th he●… d●…apred 〈◊〉 ▪ hav●… as many poakes as 〈◊〉 , are mou●…ted the staires ; a●…d 〈◊〉 now th●… long pe●…patetick gallery ; they a●…e encountred with volleyes of more questions , then they know how to resolve . gladly would this salique traine buy all they see , if their revenues would mount to the price . but they must in civill curtsy leave some few commodities for others . meane time they buy more then they know how to employ . " that is a prety conceited toy ( sayes my ladies gentle woman ) i will buy it whatsoever it cost me : which discreete spe●…ch delivered in the hearing of our exchange-man , it must want no praise , a●…d consequently no p●…ice . h●…e ●…ll usually demand the three 〈◊〉 value for any commod●…ty ; but farre bee it from me to 〈◊〉 him to have the consce●…ce ●…o ●…ake it if they would give it . it is his onely drift without any other policy to make triall of 〈◊〉 judgement : his equall and conscionable moderation is such ( at least hee will pretend so much ) in these trivial●… subjects of gaine , as hee hates to wo●…ke on any ones weaken●…sse , being the expressivest argum●…nt of mercinarie ●…asenesse . but were all that traffick with him as well-li●…'d in pate as purse , wee should finde many emptie shoops b●…fore the next vacation . by this , a new troope of ruffling pl●…m'd myrmidons are arrived ; and these will swoope up all before th●…m ; n●…t so much us a 〈◊〉 ty●…e , be it never so ougly , shall es●…ape their encounter . now out w●…th your lures , baites , and lime-twiggs , my nimble d●…dapper . your harvest is not all the yeare . see how hee s●…ruggs ; and with what downe-right reverence hee entertaines them ! if oaths , civill complements , demure lookes have any hope to prevaile with raw and vnexperienc'd credulity , he is in a notable thriving way : for he ha's set his partridg●… al●…eady ; there is no doubt of ●…pringing them till his n●…t be spread over them : by wh●…ch meanes he ha ▪ s a tricke to catch the old one . s●…lence , and you shall hea●…e his project . the ancient matron which strikes the stroake , and directs her young charge in their merchand●…ze , is by this time as firmely retained by ou●… exchange-man , as ever was lawyer by his client . what great matter is it , though it cost him a muffe , a wrought wastcoate , or some curious border ? hee may pay himselfe in his price : for they are too generous ( so their direc●…sse approve it ) to stand upon tea●…mes . let this suffice ; it is a good market , where all are pleased , and so are these . they joy no lesse in his commodity , than hee in their money . yet are the savages , in my opinion , much more to be approved in their commerce than these . indeed they exchange pretious stuffe for tri●…es : bevers and ermi●…s for knifes , hatchets , kettle-drums and hobby-horses . but this they doe out of their superfluity ; whereas our nicer d●…mes bestow that upon trifles , which might support a needfull family . but the age labours of this epidemicall error ; too universall therefore is the crime to admit of censure . now you must suppose that invention is the exchange-mans most usefull a●…tizan . therefore , for his better returne , he keepes his weekely synodall with his girdler , perfumer , tyre-woman and sempster : who bray their braines in a mortar , to produce some usefull renew , some gainefull issue for their ●…hriving master . never was poore ●…ade more troubled with fashions than these are . by this time , 〈◊〉 something invented ; which , wh●…st it is now in his embrio , re●…ives admittance to his shoppe , and to take the curious passenger , appeares in his full shape . he needs not use any exchange - 〈◊〉 to set it forward ; novelties will ve●…d themselves . a vacation is his vexation ; and a michaelmas tearme the sole hope of his 〈◊〉 . h●… ha's by th●… ti●… , serv'd all offices in hi●… 〈◊〉 ▪ 〈◊〉 now drawes ▪ homeward . 〈◊〉 portion hee had ●…f the world , hee ha's bequeathed to his executors , adm●…istrators , and assignes . the birds are ●…low 〈◊〉 ; his customers gone ; it is hig●… time to shut up shop . . a forrester is a wood-man ; but by all likelyhood hee shall lose that t●…tle , if hee live to another age ; for there will be little or no wood left in all his forrest . hee proves by his w●…ndfals , it is an ill winde that blowes no man profit . his commo●…-weale is his chace , his people deere . though his subjects bee wilde , hee can tame them with a powder . though hee make no porters of them , hee drawes a part of his main●…enance from their 〈◊〉 . ●…he judgement which i●… most requis●…te to a man of his 〈◊〉 , c●…nsists in singling out a go●…d de●…re . hee is an excellent 〈◊〉 - man , and will serve your warrant daintily , if you fee him . hee weares by his side , what hee would not for a world have fixt on his front : though hee have many times deserv'd it , by playing the rascall deere , leaving his owne doe , breaking over his owne pale , and ranging in anothers purlew . but for all that she is impaled , when fitly tappised , she may prove one of swetnams brood , hee act●…s bird , if calysto's egge bee rightly hatched . one would take him for the living signe of robin hood with a forrest bill in his hand . hee ha's a warren to turne co●…e-catcher ; where he erects a place of ex●…cution for his ver●…in . you would thinke him a co●…templative man by his solitarie walkes ; and no question b●…t hee might benefit hi●…selfe mu●…h that way ; but his m●…nde stands not so affected . he weares his mothers livery , and domineeres like a petty king in his owne liberty . hee k●…epes a choyce consort of musicians ; with which hee is not at so much charge as to the value of a lut●…-string . amorous and attractive is his colour , else semele had never so much affected it in her iuppiter . his very habit includes an emble●…e . hee attires himselfe to the colour of the forrest to deceive his game ; and our spirituall enemy attyres himselfe in the colour we most affect and least suspect , to receive his prey . were he a scholl●…r , hee might infinitely improve his knowledge by the objects which hee dayly sees . he i●… as the a●…podes to us ; for our day is his n●…ght , his night our day . he●… is one of l●…tona's se●…vants ; and is so conversant with her , as hee knowes certainely whether the moone be made of greene chees●… or no. hee is a proper man of his hands ; but most couragious when hee is impal'd . yet if his friend come for a peece of flesh , he will not walke that night , but sl●…pe as soundly as a constable . but visit any other his chase , hee will ferret them . he can do miracles with his line-hound ; who by his good education ha's more sophistry than his master . hee were a brave man , had hee the world as hee ha's his dogge in a string . for venison , h●… is generally better provided than the commander of the game : and give the blade his dew , hee is no niggard of his flesh : for hee will c●… large tho●…gs out of anothers leather . if his game thrive not , the cause must bee imputed to a murraine or a stormie winter ; but his generous , if not m●…rcenary bounty , was the occasion rather . his body proclaimes him apt for any employment , but his breeding hath accommodated him better for a pale than a pike , a chace than a campe. for discourse , expect no such matter at his hands ; a very small quantitie of reason will su●…fice the creatures hee converse●…h with . a naturall bluntnesse doth best beseeme him ; for rhetoricke becomes not the woods . if wee bee companions to ostridges , wee shall be sure to savour of the wildernesse . hee knowes whether the poets conc●…te of fa●…nes and s●…lvanes bee true or no ; for th●…y walke in his raunge at wakes and maygames hee 〈◊〉 a brave 〈◊〉 : for our wenches of ●…e greene hold him a marvellous proper man. for the rest of our hobbinols , they retai●…e such an opinion of his valor , they dare scarc●…ly say their sou●…es are their own●… . for his revenew's , be●… they more or lesse , hee makes ●…ven worke at every yeeres end . he ha's no land but leases ; and th●…se will weare out in time . the 〈◊〉 which ●…ost dignifie him , are these ; he can hallow , give a gibbet , wi●…d a horne ▪ cut up a peece of flesh , and laugh at an ignorant animal that takes saime between the frontl●…s . when he is to present some ne●…ghbouring gentleman in his masters n●…me , with a side or a fouch hee ha's an excellent art in improving his venison to the best ; and in aggravat●…ng the d●…fficulties hee suffered before h●…e could come to his purpose ; and whereto tends all this , but to binde a greater curtesie upon the receiver ▪ and to purchase a better reward for hims●…fe ? for memory , hee may vye with x●…xes ; he knowes all his wilde regiment by head . for religion , hee cannot be justly taxed in his tenets , either of 〈◊〉 or error ; for hee is yet to chuse . the lawnd is his templ●… , the bi●…ds his quirresters . his employment for the winter quart●…r is a con●…nuate imposture ; laying spring●… for woodcockes , 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 , &c. his condition of all 〈◊〉 is most mutable ; his 〈◊〉 count●…nance variable ; and his place to many overtures ●…vable . it were necessary there●…ore that hee tooke ●…at fees while he is in office ; that he may have something to build on in his vacancie from s●…rvice . but in this particular he is so well cautioned , as his pr●…decessors lecture hath made him completely armed . if he live till he be old , he incurs th●… th●… ge●…erall fate of an ancient discarded servingman ; clozing the evening of his life with contempt or neglect . those materials or appendices of his place , horne , lease and bill he resignes ( if not pawn'd already ) to his successour ; ●…ho keepes a mig●…ty racket the first q●…arter , but af●…rwards falls off , imitating endym●…on , his predecessors steppes , in conniving at his friends , and compounding with his 〈◊〉 . the greene l●…very , that embleme of frailtie , which h●…e wore living , must now bee the carp●…t t●… cover him dying . out of all hi●… spacious raunge , he ha's rese●…ved so much ground a●… may afford him a grave . more hee n●…edes not , and to bee debarr●…d t●…is , even in humanity he can●…ot . what rests then , but that hee rest after his long walke ? while 〈◊〉 a●…fixe his owne epitaph upon his owne naked monume●…t , to make his memory more perp●…tuate ; defessus sum ambulando . pitty were it then to disquiet him . . a gamester is a merch●…t-venturer , for his stocke ru●…nes alwaies upon hazard . h●…e ha's a perp●…tuall pals●…y in his elbow ; which never leaves shaking till his fortunes bee shaken . hee remembers god more in oaths than orison●… . and if hee pray at any time , it is not premeditate but extemporall . the summe of his devotion consists not in the expression or conf●…ssion of himselfe like a penitent sinner , but that he may come off at next meeting a competent winner . but where findes hee any such in all our collect●… ? h●…e so over-braves and abuseth the poore dice , that if they were his equalls , they would , questionlesse , call him to account for 't . the ordinarie is his oratorie , where h●…e pr●…yes upon the countrey-gull to feede himselfe . hee was a gr●…at heire , and entred the world full-handed ; but falling to game purposely to make him more compleate , his long acre hath past the alienation offi●…e , and made him a stranger to his fathers mansion-house : and now hee is fitter for a gamester than ever hee was ; let fortune doe her worst , his estate cannot be much worse . in his minority , he plaid ever upon disadvantage ; but experience hath now sufficiently inform'd him in his maturity ; though his dice seeme square , he seldome playes so . advantage is his advancement ; wherein if you prevent him and bring him to square , he is ever seconded with sinister fortune . sundrie prety passages and conveiances h●… ha's in his pockets , sleeves , and other private places ●…or his little familiars ; and these furnish him at a dead lift . you feare ●…gging , and to make sure worke , you bring him a box ; but all this will not serve your turne ; hee ha's a bee in a box to sting you . it is his care to creepe into a good suite of cloaths ; lest the ordinarie should barre him by and maine . which having purchased , by translating and accommodating it to the fashion most i●… request , it seemes quarterly new . hee feedes well , howsoever hee fare . hope and feare make his recreation an affliction . hee ha's no time to refresh his mind , being equally divided betwixt hope of g●…ine , and feare of losse . for his losse of patience , it is so familiar with him , as hee holds it no losse . money is of too deare and tender an estimate to let it slippe from him , and hee like a stoicall stocke to say nothing . t●…llus hostilius put feare and palenesse in the number of his gods : and it is pittie ( saith lactantius ) that ever his gods should goe from him . these two are our gamsters furies , which startle him in midst of his iubilee . hee is poore , yet miserably covetous ; envie like ivie , is ever wreathing about his heart : others successe is his eye-sore . hee seldome ha's time to take ayre , unlesse it be to a play ; where if his pockets will give leave , you shall see him aspire to a box : or like the ●…ilent woman , sit demurely upon the stage . where , at the end of every act , while the encurtain'd musique sounds , to give enter-breath to the actors , and more grace to their action , casting his cloake carelesly on his left shoulder , hee enters into some complementall d●…scourse with one of his ordinarie gallants . the argument of their learned conference is this ; where shall we suppe , or how shall we trifle away this night ? where shall we meete to morrow ; or how bestow our selves ? hee takes no course how to live , nor knows any way how to thrive but in this high-bet-path of idlenesse . any other imployment were his torment . it were the wisest part to deale with such lewd and inordinate walkers , time-triflers , standers , sitters in the wayes of idlenesse , and incendiaries to a civill state , as philip of macedon dealt with two of his subjects , in whom there was little hope of grace , or redemption of time : hee made one of them runne out of the countrey , and the other d●…ive him : so his people was rid of both . the longer hee lives , more arguments of his basenesse hee leaves . whom hee consorts with he depraves , and those that beleeve him hee deceives . it were a strange account that hee would make , if he w●…re call'd to 't ; since his first imitation in this profession . surely , hee would expresse himselfe a second marg●…tes , of whom it is said , that h●…e never plowed , nor digged , nor addressed himselfe to ought all his life long that might tend unto goodnesse , being wholly unprofitable to the world. to disswade him then ●…rom this habitu●…te course of perverted liberty , might sceme a fruitlesse taske : ●…or ●…eates must be ●…is revenues or he 〈◊〉 . howbeit to such as are but freshmen , and are not throughly salted with his rudiments , these caut●…ons will not prove altog●…ther uselesse . this complete gallant , which you see every way thus accoutred , is master of nothing but what hee weares ; and that in lavender ere long . hee is famous in nothing but in being the last of his house . he is onely used by the master of the ordinarie , as men use cumminseede , to replenish their culverhouse ; his employment is the draught of customers . have your ●…yes about you , if you play with him : for want of a l●…underer hee can set your ruffe n●…atly by helpe of a glasse behinde you , or a dammaske pummell to discover your gam●… . this he will do so ●…imbly , as you shall scarce know who hurt you . in a word , bee our you●…g novices affected to play ? let them remember plato's golde●… rule : parvum est al●…â luder●… , & non parvum est assuescere : it is no great matter to play at dice , but it is a great error to make dice their dayes-taske . let it be their pastime , not their practice . let them know further , that gamest●…rs are but as rivolets , but the boxe that maine ocean into which they descend . by this time you may suppose our cunning gamester to bee now fallen to his very last stake ; his wit in the waine ; and his fortune in the eb●…e . hee cannot hold out long , for infamie ha's mark't him for a cheat ; and the more generous professants have by this discarded him for a bum-card . hee is out of credit with the ordinarie ; and entertain'd with a scornefull looke by his owne familiars . hee resolves therefore to turne penitentiarie , now when he ha'●… nought el●…e to doe . suppose him then walking l●…ke a second malevolo with a dejected eye , a broad-brim'd hat or'e-pentising his discontented looke , an e●…wreathed arme like a dispassionate lover , a weake yingling spurre guiltlesse of gold , with a wint●…r suite , which must of necessitie suite him all summer ; till drawing n●…re some cookes shop , hee takes occasion to mend his spurre-leather , purposely to a●…lay hi●… hunger with a comfortabl●… savour . happy were hee , if hee , ●…ho in his time had beene so boun●…ifull to the gamesters box●… might now receive any benefit or competent rele●…f from the pooremans boxe : but miserie no so●…ner found him , tha●… pitty left 〈◊〉 : it is high time then for us to l●…ave him . . an hospitall-man is the 〈◊〉 of a greater work ; b●…ing all that is left of a decay●…d g●…ntleman , a maimed souldi●…r , or a discarded servingman . hee is now ta●…ked to th●…t in his age , which hee was little acquainted with in his youth . hee must now betake himselfe to prayer a●…d devotion ; remember the found●…r , benefactors , h●…ad and members of that ●…amous foundation : all which he performes with as much z●…ale , as as actor aster the end of a play , when hee prayes for his majestie , the lords of his most honourable pri●…ie counc●…ll , and all that love the king. he ha's scarce fully ended his orisons , till hee lookes backe at the buttry hatch , to see whether it bee open or no. the sorrow hee conceives for his sinnes ha's made him drie : the proselyte therefore had n●…ede of some refresh●…ent . his gowne and retyred walkes would argue him a s●…holler : but it is not the hood that makes the monke ; hee can bee no such man unlesse hee have it by inspiration . but admit he were , hee is at the best but a lame scholler . a great part of a long winter night is past over by him and the rest of his devout circumcellions in discoursing of what they have beene and seene . while sometimes they fall at variance in the relation and comparison of their actions . but all their differences are soone rinsed downe in lambs-wooll . which done , with a friendly and brotherly regreete one of another , as loving members of one soci●…tie , they betake themselv's to their rest . before the first cocke at the longest awakes o●…r hospitall-man ; ●…or aches and crampes will not suffer his sleepes to be long : which is a great motive to make his prayers more frequent . the morning bell summons him early to his devotions , whereto , howso●…ver his inward man stand affected , his outward is with due reverence addressed . no sooner ha's hee got repast for his soule , than he prepares r●…leefe for his belly . hee cannot endure to chastise it so lo●…g as he may cherish it . austeritie he can embrace , so it restraine him neither in his repast nor rest . for other bodily exercises , hee stands indifferent : for hee findes his body unable to use them . to speake of the condition of his life , hee might conceive an high m●…asure of contemplative sweetnesse in it , if the sunne of hi●… soule ( too long e●…clipsed by the interpos●…ion of earth ) could clearely apprehend it . it is stra●…ge to see with what tendernesse he embrace●…h this life , which in all reaso●… should bee rather by h●…m loathed than lov●…d . his head i●… a recep●…acle of catarrhs , his eyes 〈◊〉 of sluxes and 〈◊〉 , his brest a conduit of rhumatick●… distillations ; the sciatica ha's seazed on his hippes , aches and convulsions racke his backe and reines ; in a word , his whole body is a very magazen of diseases ; and diseases , you k●…ow , are the suburbs of death . yet he hopes to put the hospitall to the charge of another livery gowne , and a whole yeers com●…ons ; whence hee seemes to verifie the proverbe : there is none so desperately old , but he hopes to live one yeere longer . yet for all this , hee ca●… never be 〈◊〉 merry : being injoyned to a taske , which he cannot i●…ure 〈◊〉 to without irksomnesse or 〈◊〉 . for to bring an ●…axter●…o ●…o the exercise of devotion , is ●…o bring an old bird to sing pricksong in a cage . the rules of his house hee observes most punctually ; but for clancular houres of private prayer and devotion , hee absolu●…ely holds them workes of supererogation . his campe is now translated into a cloister ; yet his zeale as much then as now : for a●… hospitall-fire , and too liberall 〈◊〉 ha's cool'd his fervor . he conc●…ives as much delight in discoursi●…g ●…t the g●…te , as 〈◊〉 in 〈◊〉 c●…l ; yet h●… demu●…e 〈◊〉 , ag●…d reve●…ence , an●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 more 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 expect●…ce . ho●…ly in 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 hee 〈◊〉 o●…●…is 〈◊〉 , and guides he ha's to waft him to the port of felicitie ; wherein it were to be wished , that as hee is retentive of the one , so he would not bee unmindefull of the other . there is no provision hee neede take care for , but how to dye , and that he will doe at leasure , when necessity calls him to 't . the world is well changed with him , if he could make right use on 't . in stead of the cold ground for his pallat , armes and alarmes , and volleyes of shot ; he may now lie softly , sleepe sweetly , repose safely , and if hee looke well to the regiment of ●…is soule , discampe securely . feares and foes he may have within him , but neither foes nor feares without him . armour he ha's aswell as before , and that more complete : this is spirituall , that corporall . methinks it should not grieve him to remember hee was a man in his time . that condition is the best , which makes him best . admit he had meanes , yet being a meanes to corrupt his minde , they were better lost than possest . in his summer arbour of prosperiti●… hee was d●…sperately sicke , for hee had no sense of his sinne . sycophants he had to dandle him in the lappe of securitie , and belull him in his sensuall lethargie . these tame beasts are gone ; these summer-swallowes flowne ; the fuell of his loose-expended houres consumed ; the veile which kept him from discovery of himselfe , removed . what remaines now , but that hee alien himselfe from the world , seeing what he had in the world is aliened from him ? his soules-tillage is all the husbandry hee neede intend . this neglected , his case is desperate ; this resp●…cted , all is fortunate . every day then , as his body is nearer e●…rth , let his soule bee nearer heaven . hee feedes but a languishing-lingring life , while hee lives here : it is but a ●…abernacle at the best , so long as he is encloistered ; upon his manumission hence , hee is truly enfranchised . while he had meanes , he might leave an estate to his successour ; and so much meanes hee ha's now , as will cause some hospitall-brother thanke god for his departure . the thirstie earth gapes not more greedily for his corp●…e , than some beadsm●…n or oth●…r doth for his place . he ha's by this got his pasport ; hee ha's ●…id the world a d●…w , by paying n●…ture ●…r de●… : dry eyes att●…nd him ; his 〈◊〉 brothers follow him , a●… bri●…g hi●… to ●…is long home . a shor●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 up hi●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ; more state hee needes not , and lesse hee cannot have . . a iayler is a surly hoast , who entertaines his guests with harsh language , and hard usage . hee will neither allow them what is sufficient for them , nor give them liberty to seeke an other i●…ne . hee is the phy●…itian , and they are his patients ; to whom hee p●…escribes such a strict die●… , that if they would , they cannot surfet . if at any time they grow irregular , hee allayes their distemper 〈◊〉 cold iron . hee receives the first fruits o●… the a●…m svasket , and leaves them the 〈◊〉 . he holds nothing more unprofitable to one of his place than 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 more dissorting than compassion ; so as it little moves him to see his famish'd family in affliction . his mency cannot bee more impious than he is imperious : hee domineeres bravely ; beares himselfe towards his ragged regiment bravingly ; and makes himselfe almner of their poore treasury . hee is in fee with the constables of all the wards to send him night-walkers to be his pay-masters . hee turnes not his key but hee will have his fee of every inmate . if hee would turne them out , hee deserv'd it better ; but hee both stayes and starves them together . if hee provide any cheere for them , it must be whipping-cheere . his ornaments are fetters , boults , and mannacl●…s . these are his bracelets , yingles , and caparisous : thus must his enthralled crickets live ever in an iron age . yet according to a proportionable weight in starling , hee will abate a proportionable weight in iron . hee so doubles and redoubles his wards , as one would thinke he had some infinite treasure ; but hee that should seeke for any such within his precincts , should lose his labour . hee ha's a rough hoarse voice ever menacing fire and faggot : for hee ha's contracted with his tongue never to utter one syllable of comfort : and concludes , that the iayler in the acts , was o●… too milde temper to supply the place of a iayler if his prisoner have revenew's , and desire to breathe the ayre of liberty ; hee m●…y purchase an artificiall daies freedome and a keeper to boot , by his bounty . but his exhibition must be good , otherwise he sleights his quality . for those poore snakes who feed on reversions , a glimpse through the key-hole , or a light through the grate , m●…st be all their prospect . he ha'●… many times troubled and broken sleepes ; and starts out a bed , crying , the prison is broken : so incessant are his feares , so impressive his cares . which to prevent , he redoubles his wards , reburdens his irons ; and if all this will not doe , but that the fury of feare still dogges him : hee fortifies his thoughts against suspition with strength of liquor . which 〈◊〉 him as insensible of feare , if occasion were offered , as he was be●…ore app●…ehensive of feare , ere any 〈◊〉 of suspition was ministred . hence it appeares , that nothing amates him so much as feare of a prisoners escape . for his ●…innes , they never so much as breake hi●… sleep , trouble his head , or 〈◊〉 his minde . when the sessions draw neere , how officio●…sly obsequious he is to any o●… his well-lin'd prisoners ? now hee must 〈◊〉 how to mince his guilt , and 〈◊〉 his owne gaine . he ha's already comp●…unded with him ●…or the summe : the project must be 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 his braine . 〈◊〉 , if it hit , hee ha's vow'd to bee ●…runke that night ; but if it ●…il'd , pu●…posely to be reveng'd of himselfe , he will quench his hydropicke thirst with six shillings beare , and so dye of a male-tympanie . if any of his more happy prisoners be admitted to his clergy , and by helpe of a compassionate prompter , hacke out his necke-verse , hee ha's a cold iron in store if hee be hot , but an hot iron if hee be cold . where there be many irons in the fire , some must coole . if his pulse ( i meane his purse ) bee hot , his fist may cry fizze , but want his impression : but if his pulse be cold , the poore beggarly knave must 〈◊〉 his literall expression . hee heares more ghostly instruction at the ordinaries funerall sermon before an execution , than all the yeare after : y●…t is his attention as farre distant from that sermon as newgate from tyburne . and yet say not but hee is a most constant friend to his convicted inmates , for hee seldome ever leaves them till hee see them hang'd . now some againe will object that hee is a subtile macchiauel , and loves to walke in the cloudes , because he never resolves those with whom hee deales , but fils them full of doubts , and in the end ever leaves them in suspence . but this is a badge of his profession , and consequently pleades exemption . doe you heare yo●… new-gate bird ? how sweetely the pilfring syren sings ! well warbled chuck . the c●…im tartar with the bunch of keyes at his belt will requite thee . thou knowest hee expects a masters share , or no release . one note higher then , as thou hopes for releefe . he ha's collectors too with basons to improve his rents : which consist of vailes and bribes : but hee is more beholden to the later . it is just contrarie with his oeconomie and with others ; the greater his theevish family is , the richer is his fare . hee can doe sometimes very good offices ( if hee please ) by discovery of cacus cave . but it is not the publike which hee must preferre before his particular : annoint him , and he will come on like an oy●…d glove . notable intelligence hee receives dayly from his ancient inmates : who for the good entertainement they have already received , and what they may expect heereafter , pr●…sent him now and then ●…ith a remembrance of their love ; and so they may afford it very good cheape , for it cost them nought . but now what with surfets , colds , fears , frights . supose him dra●…ing neare his goale-delivery . though hee had about him emblemes of mans life dayly ; though hee saw continuall objects of humane misery ; though hee encountred with nothing but specta●…les of infelicity : yet his security imprisoned his understanding , so as hee made no use of them . hee is now roming , hee knowes not whither ; and must of necessity grapple with that which hee scarce ever thought of before this instant of his departure . death ha's entred one ward already ; no churlish affront can possibly amate him ; no humane power repell him . now hee ha's a poore prisoner within him , that suffers more anguish than ever any sicke captive did without him . hee gropes under his head , and hee findes his keyes gone ; he looks inward , and he finds foes many , but friends few or none . cold are those comforts which are in him ; many those discomforts which enthrall him . yet two beame-lines of comfort dart upon him in this houre of terrour ; from him he expects succour who received the penitent thiefe , and converted the layler . . a keeper is an equivocall officer ; for if by a keeper you intend a raunger or forrester , he is a wild-man , or a woodman , as wee have formerly given him his character . if by him you intend a iayler , hee is an iron-monger , whose iron sides will suffer no compassion to enter . if an alehouse-keeper , his house is the divels booth , and himselfe the recetter . if a keeper of horses at livery , he is a knave without a livery ; he will put in your hand a lame palfrey , who will lay your honour in the dust . if a fi●…ld-keeper , hee is a night walker , who though he have store of neare inmates ever about h●…m , they ever backbite him . hee imitates the bellman in his ●…ogge , but wants his bell . if the world doe not bely him , hee will sooner share with a night-catcher than descry him . if a doore-keeper a frequent third day at a taking new play , will make this collector a colloguer . if a shop keeper , deepe oathes , darke shoppes , base wares , false weights have al●…eady proclaim'd him a civill cunning impostor . if a booke-keeper , he may get him frien●…s , if his master bee not all the wiser ; and improve his owne meanes by change of a figure . but leaving these , give me a good house-keeper , who onely of all these merits a deserving character . he preserves that relique of gentry , the honour of hospitality , and will rather fall , than it should faile . he revives the black iack , puts beefe in his pot , makes poore passengers pray for him , his followers to sticke neere him , his countrey to honour him , his friends to love him , his foes to prayse him . hee wonders how any one should bee so voyde of pitty as to leave his smoaklesse house in the countrey , where he ha's his meanes , to riot in the citie , and estrange himselfe to his ●…riends . hee conceives for what end he was borne , and keepes hi●… dayes-account ●…o discharge the old score . hee affects nothing so much as discr●…t and well-tempered bounty ; he admits no injurious thought to lodge within him . how it 〈◊〉 him to see a full table ▪ men to eat●… his meate , 〈◊〉 to feede thos●… m●…n ! hee 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 so low , as to ac●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 w●…th those bas●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , who preferre 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 pub●…●…ate , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 his ●…oy to become a liberal dispencer , and to releeve the needy with the fattest portion of his trencher . competence hee holds the best fortune ; and herein hee strives to confine his owne desires . the sunne of his aymes tends rather to the releefe of others want , than his owne weale ; yea he holds the releefe of their want his supreme weale . the court seldome takes him , but if it doe , he is never taken by it . hee hath set up his rest , that the place which gave him first being , with meanes to support that being , shall receive what with conveniencie hee may bestow while hee lives in it ; with some lasting remembrance of his love when hee departs from it . hee is generally the pooremans friend ▪ and will suffer no oppressor to nes●…le neare him . 〈◊〉 is hee altoge●…her so pre●…ise as to admit of no pl●…asure . wherefore hee keepes horses , hawkes , hounds , or whatsoever the most free and generous dispositions usually affect : yet shal●… not his recreations so seaze on him , as to fore-slow any usefull offices in him . hee divides his day into distinct houres , his houres into devout ta●…kes . his affabilitie ●…ixt with sweetnesse of bounty , his bounty with alacrity , hath so wonne his family , as no earthly state ca●… promise more felicity . it is like a well-rigg'd ship ; every one knowes their peculiar charge or office : their love unto their mast●…r makes it no eye service . his garner is his c●…untryes mag●…zin . if a famine threaten that coast , hi●… provision must bee brought forth , purposely to 〈◊〉 downe the market . his heart bleeds to see a famish'd soule languish ; he will therefore by timely releefe succour him lest hee per●…h . hee sets not his aymes on purchasing : it contents him well to preserve what his ancestors l●… him . hee makes even with the world , as hee would with his owne soule . one principall care counterpoizeth the rest : yea , the more s●…riously to addresse himselfe to this o●…ely one , h●… disvalues all the rest . neither is there o●…ght which conferres more true glorie on these deserving actions , than his disesteeme of worl●…ly praise or popular applause . hee shuts his ea●…e when he heares himselfe approv'd , and rejoyces most within him●…elfe when his deservingest actions are least observed . the begger or distressed traveller , hee holds to be his most 〈◊〉 benefactors , rather than he theirs . he●… holds it better to give than ta●…e ▪ wherefore he acknowledges himselfe their debtor , who petition his almes in this nature . knocke at his gate , and you shall finde it not surely but civilly guarded ; e●…ter his court , and you shall see the poore and needy charitably rewarded ; ascend up higher and steppe into his hall , and you shall read this posie in capitall letters inscribed ; a pilgrimes solace is a christians office . suppose christmas now approaching , the ever-green ivie trimming and adorning the portalls and partcloses of so frequented a building ; the usuall carolls , to observe antiquitie , cheerefully sounding ; and that which is the complement of his inferiour comforts , his neighbours whom he tenders as members of his owne family , joyne with him in this consort of mirth and melody . bu●… see ! t●…e poore mans comfort is now declining with the old yeare ; which fi●…ls their eyes as full of water , as he is of sicknesse through infirmitie of nature . this mirror of hospitality now breathes sh●…rt ; it is to be ●…eared he will breath his last . he may leave an heire to inherit his meanes , but never his minde . well , funerall blacks are now to bee worne aswell inward as outward ; his sonne mournes least , though hee bee at most cost . it is thought erelong , he will mourne in scarlet , for vanitie ha's seaz'd on him already , and got him to forsake his countrey , and forsweare hospitalitie . . a launderer is a linnen barber , and a meere sa●…urnine ; for you shall ever fi●…de her in the sudds . vsed shee clipping asmuch as washing , sh●…e were an egregious counterfeite , and might quickly come within compasse of the statute . shee is an epicene , and of the doubtfull g●…nder : for a l●…nderer may bee asw●…ll a male as a female , by course of nature . but for her , there woul●… be no ●…hifter ; with whom qu●…rterly shee becomes a sharer . shee is in principall request with collegiat vnderbutlers , pu●…ie clarks in innes of cha●…y , with other officers of inferiour qu●…litie ; unlesse higher gra●…uates will deigne to shew her their humility , in progresse time ( being f●…llen into contempt ) shee followes the court ; and consorts familiarly with the black-guard . b●…t shee scornes the motion ( i meane to be so poorely employed ) during the flourishing spring of her youth : for shee ha's good vailes , b●…sides her standing wages : and now and then gets good bits which neither the principall nor seniours know of . her young masters , whom shee serves with all diligence , neede no cocke but her : shee 'll come to their chambers , and wake them early ; and if they have the spirit to rise , may at their pleasure use her helpe to make them ready . shee is a notable witty , ta●…ing titmouse ; and can make twentie sleevelesse ar●… in hope of a good turne . by her frequent recourse and familiar concourse with professours of law , she knowes by this how to put a case : and amongst her ignorant neighbours can argue it when she ha's done . in some byalley is her dwelling generally : where she keepes a quarter , as if shee were she-constable of the ward . if shee demeane herselfe wisely , and pretend onely a car●… of preserving her honesty , shee may come in time to some unexpected advancement . but truth is ( as it fares commonly with the easiest and tractablest natures ) she is of that yeelding temper as she cannot endure to bee long woo'd b●…fore shee bee wonne . her fort may be sackt by paper pellets of promises and assumpsits , if shee be credulous ; or by silver shot of plates and p●…eces , if shee be covetous . whence it is , that in very short time , the dropping fruite of this launderer , becomes like a medlar ; no sooner ripe than rotten ; yea many times rotten before it b●…e ripe . now for the stocke which should support her trade : a very little will set her up , and f●…rre lesse will bring her downe . she will finde friends , if her parts be thereafter . neither shall shee neede much curiositie in her 〈◊〉 : onely she must indent with h●…r brest to bee secret , with her 〈◊〉 to bee silent , and with her 〈◊〉 to bee constant . shee must not tell what shee sees ; dictate on what shee heares ; nor blush at what she enjoyes . shee must bee modestly seeming strange , where shee most affects , a●…d relish nothing more than what shee inwardly rejects . to salve the credit of the punie clerk her young-master , she turnes honest woman , and matcheth herselfe to the houses botcher . the necessitie of the time is such , as these hopefull nuptialls must not stay for a licence , admit they could purchase it . delay breedes danger ; and so pregnant the wench is growne , as shee doubts lest before she be honoured with the style of bride , shee become a mother . but her long experience in law-quirks hath sufficiently inform'd her ; a childe borne within marriage is freed from bastardy , and may inherit all their hereditarie lands , if they had a●…y . she by this ha's aspi●…'d to the purchase of a gowne and a f●…lt : so as shee now wives it , as if shee were head-marsh●…ls wife of the ward . she ha's got a neate guilded book too , to make her neighbours conceite her to bee a scholler : but happy were shee if shee were as guiltlesse of lightn●…sse as of learning : for the cover , shee may handle it , and upon alledging of a text of scripture tosse it , but for the c●…nt ●…ts , as she knowes them not , so she greatly cares not . she now scornes to be so meanly imployed in her owne person , as she ha's formerly beene ; she ha's got her therefore a brace of vnderla●…ndresses to supply her place , performe her charge , and goe through-stitch with her trade . the sweate is theirs ; but the sweete is hers . these must be accomptants weekely of their commings in ; and returne a just particular of all such vailes , profits , or emoluments , as usually or accidentally have any way accrued . shee now stands upon her pantofles forsooth ; and will not wet her hand , lest shee spoyle the graine of her skinne : mistris ioan ha's quite forgot that shee was once iugge . yet shee keepes ●…ome ancient records of her former youthfull profession . when a horse growes old , he loseth the marke in his mouth : but it is not so with her , for shee in her age retaines the marke of the beast in her nose , that is flat . severall waies she ha's to advance her inconstant meanes in severall places : if her continuance in court purchase ●…er the least scruple of esteeme , by petitionarie course she labours her preferment : but her request ●…ust not be great , because her repute is but small . which upon procurement , must suffer many divisions , subdivisions , and subtractions , before she be admitt●…d to a share . if her aboad in the citie , hath poss●…st her mistress●…s with an opinion of her secrecy : shee is made an usefull agent that way . nothing ca●… bee too deare for her : shee becomes a gainefull factor , and though she ●…either doe nor suffer , yet receives shee with both hands from agent and patient . if her residence in any incorporate societie hath got her esteeme , her age r●…ceives for her long service a pencionary recompence : meane time exchange of broomes for old shoes , and other vailes of decayed linnen raise her a maintenance . but like a barbers-ball , with much rinsing and rubbing shee now growes quite wash'd away . she dyes neither very rich nor contemptibly poore ; neither with much love , no●… great hate . so much she hath reserv'd out of all the labours of her life , as will buy some small portion of diet bread , comfits , and burnt claret to welcome in her neighbours now ●…t her departing , of whose cost they never so freely tasted while she was living . a metall-man is nothing lesse than what his name imports . hee ha's a beetle head , and a leaden heele . the embleme of him is exprest in the hollow-chamell voyce of that walking trunkhos'd goblin , any ends of gold or siluer ? the arch-artist in this minerall is the alchymist ; for the rest are all sublunarie unto him , hee onely mercurie sublimate unto them . his stoves , limbecks , and materialls are already provided : his longacres have beene measured out to m●…ke his provisions come in . hee hold●… himselfe nothing inferiour to kelley in art , hee onely wisheth but himselfe like fate . seven yeares are now expired , since his promethean fire received first light ; & yet the philosophers stone may be in sysip●…s pocket , for ought that hee knowes . the●…e is no artist that ha's more 〈◊〉 than he , upon lesse grounds . hee doubts not but before the signe enter aries , hee-shall like another iason , purchase a golden fl●…ece . it is the highest imployment wherein hee ingageth his most intimate friends , to furnish him with sufficiency of brasse , copper , pewter , &c. hee will make the state rich enough , if hee have enough to doe withall . by this , hee thinkes hee sees a corner of the philosophers stone , yet hee cannot discerne the colour . hope of profit bereaves him of sleepe ; but the cost of his art deprives him of profit . it is a wonder to observe what rare crotchets and ●…evices hee retains purposely to guli himselfe ! what choyce structures 〈◊〉 intends to erect out of his pure elixirs ! yea , so farre deluded is hee with the strength of a transported imagination , as one might easily make him beleeve that the reparation of pauls was onely reserv'd to be his master-p●…ece ; and that many of our duke humfreys knights expected when he should perfect it . the flourishing citiewalkes of moorfields , though delightfull , yet not so pretious or beautifull as he will make them . those sallow-coloured el●…s , must be turned into yellow-h●…sperian plants : where every bankerupt merchant may plucke a branch at his pleasure , to resu●…nish his decayed treasure . o the transcendencie of art ! hee lookes backe at the houre of his nativitie , and by a prob●…ble argument of the constellation wherein hee was borne , hee gathers that the crucible of his braine must be the indies of this state. not a morning shines upon him , wherein he expects not before the west receive him , but that his hopes shall enrich him , and those many jeering mountebanks that attend him . every dayes experience , becom●…s now a pretious observance : which makes him thinke hee drawes neare the shore ; and so he doth , for now the ship of his fortune rides at low water . yet i●… he as rich in mountaines of golden conceites and ayrie imaginations as ever hee was : his speculation in time will make him as rich as a new-shorne-sheepe ; but this his wisedom beleeves not . heyday ; what a racket hee keepes ? elevate that tripode ; sublimate that pipkin ; elixate your antimonie ; intenerate your chrysocoll ; accelerate our crucible . quicke , quicke , the mint staies for our metall . let our materials bee infused . our art requires your diligence ; your diligence ample recompence . how much may one houres remissnesse prejudice this consequent businesse ? frustrate the states expectance ? and perpetually estrange the richest discovery that ever age brought forth , from our successours . deare democritus , hold thy sides or they will cracke else ! this diving paracelsian seekes amalthea , but findes amalga . his metalls have more moone than sunne in them . how hee tyres himselfe in a wilde-goose-chase ? as neere he was yesterday as to day , yet poorer to day than yesterday . his art ha●…s arriv'd her secretst port , attain'd her highest pitch . which makes him now convert his speculation into admiration : wondering that this stone s●…ould be so long conceal'd from him . by this time hee encounters with a nimble quackesalver , who forgeth new 〈◊〉 to delude him . hee encourageth 〈◊〉 i●… his attempt , seconds him with his advice and assistance ; purposely to extract out of ●…he decreasing limbecke of his fortunes a monethly allowance . h●…e limits him a time , which expir'd , his hopes are arriv'd : but before the time come , this nimble doctor is flowne . but what more powerfully prevalent than error ? all these rubbes shall not draw him from his byas . he will not desist till he see an end of something ; and so he may quickly , for his fortunes now he a bleeding but now his expence becomes more easie and temperate : for though his device be delicious , yet the ebbe of his fortunes makes him in his disbursements more parcimonious , and in distillations lesse pretious . before the next moneth end , his art hath wrought out the end of his state : so as this alchymist becomes all-a-mist , and theogenes-like ends in smoak●… . a bill must bee now erected , a chymical schedule pasted , where his hopefull utensils were lately reared ; and if any m●…tall'd sparke will spend some crownes in the same science , the pupill may have a tutor : whose judgement and pretious experiments hee may use for boord-wages . now will any one buy a kettle , a caldron , or a limbeck ? how much is the state deceiv'd in this greatmans master-peece ? how his hopes are thawed ? his fortunes distilled ? and his aymes miserably cloz'd ? how this threede-bare philosophe●… shruggs , shifts , and shuf●…les for a cuppe of sixe , whose thirsty desires were once for aurum potabil●… ? few or none compassionate his infelicitie , save onely the metall-men of lo●…hburie , who expected for their grosser metalls ready vent by meanes of his philosophy . his sumptuous fires are now extinguished , the oyle of his lifes lampe consumed , his hopes into impossibilities resolved , and hee in his last scene on earth , to earth returned . . a neuter is an hedg●…hog ; who ha●…h two holes or portalls in his siege ; one toward the south , another toward the north. now when the southern wind blowes , hee stoppes up that hole , and turnes him northward : againe , when the northerne●… ●… winde blowes , hee stoppes up that hole likewise , and turnes him southward . such an vrchin is this neuter , who will suite himselfe with the habit of any profession for lucre . gregorie nazianzen called iuli●…n the apostata a cham●…leon ; fo●… hee could change himselfe into all shapes and colors . such a cha●… is the luke-warme laodicean . what aboundance of zeale hee will pretend among the zealous ? what indifferency among our timists ? how hot he is in palat , but how cold at heart ? hee ha's procur'd a dispensation with his conscience , that hee may the warilier and wiselier run with the tyde . hee holds him a simple christian that will professe publikely . what hee holds to bee orthodoxall privately . it is his art to put the wrongside outward ; and to dazle the eye of the world with faire showes , and golden shadowes . what cringes he will make to a rising favorite ? how he will mould him to his temper ? and scrue himselfe into his knowledge in servilest manner ? his owne shadow cannot bee more inseparably attendant , nor more officiously observant . it is the bent of his studies to dive into his disposition ; and then to apply fuell of his owne provision to feede it . he desires to be nothing lesse than what hee seemes : for hee feares by wearing himselfe too familiarly in the world , hee might in short time weare himselfe out . a formall morall zeale calls him to the church ; where hee ha's one pharisaicall eye to looke up , and an other publican eye to looke downe . for the notes which he gathers , they are either worldlypoliticall , or none at all . he will resolve of nothing definitely without some reservation ; but of all others , what religion he will bee of , must be his last resolution . hee were a wiseman that could catch him in any tenet that hee holds . hee admires the d●…●…ipline of our church ; but is not 〈◊〉 resolved as yet to be a member of her . he grounds his saith on what the bravest , not on what the best hold . preferment is a tender object to his eye ; he affects nought with more fervor ; receives nought with more honor ; forgoes nought with more displeasure . a conscience ( saith he ) i professe ; but yet i would not have it so nicely scrupulous , as to reject opportunitie of profit ; that conscience is too regular , that maks her master a beggar ; he is too stoicall that is wholly for his cell , and nothing for the world. thus hee labours to take off the fire-edge from his conscience , and to coole it ; to the end hee may be l●…sse limited or restrained by it . by which meanes , hee beginnes to bee more secure ; since libertie of conscience tooke from him all grounds of a religious feare . propose now the way , so it direct him to profit , which hee will not tread with delight . one minutes taske in the schoole of vertue tastes of more strictnesse , than iliads of yeeres in the temple of mammon . hee ha's now taken a course with his consci●…ce for quietnesse sake , never to call it to an evening account : that m●…ght trouble his sleepe , and distemper his next dayes projects . he ha●…h enough to doe , that hath to doe wi●…h the world. 〈◊〉 contemplations might hinder his practice that way . whatsoever therefore he 〈◊〉 himse●…fe to be , he hath made a covenant with his heart to cl●…ave to the world , as the remora to the ship : hee ha's conceived such infinite 〈◊〉 in it , as he can relish 〈◊〉 ●…t what savou●… of it . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 therefore are those m●…morials which informe him in this thriving course of godlesse policie : and which hee holds as maximes in each societie . he will seeme to love the church , but live by sacriledge . honour his l●…ra , but creepe c●…nningly into h●…s 〈◊〉 . hold the middle path betwixt baal and b●…thel . heare much , and observe it , speake little that may be obs●…rved ; and lastly remaine in such s●…spence in matters of religion , as to bee as farre from resolving at the day of his death , as the houre of his entering . excell●…nt conclusions , drain'd from a dangerous sconce , but a farre more dangerous soule . what will this puffin come to in time ? long ha's hee walk'd in the clouds ; and hung his conscience in so even a ballance b●…twixt atheisme and religion as one graine would cast him . how s●…rious an instrum●…nt of iustice he will shew himselfe towards recusants , upon 〈◊〉 tou●… th' execution of penall statutes ? againe , how remisse and conniving , if hee perceive no such thing intended ? it is a singular argument of his wisedome not to fish in troubled waters , nor swim against the streame . hee makes that use of religion , which men make of upright shoes ; to weare them with indifferencie on either foote . vpon perusall of antient martyrologies ( but seldome is he so well employ'd ) he wonders at mens constancie , how they could finde in their heart , by insisting on scruples , to deprive themselves of life and liberty . the paines of compiling so large a volume might have beene sav'd , had all those constant professors b●…ene possessed of his spirit . thus hath he liv'd to deceive all the world , and himselfe the most . for hee , who tendered the welfare of no friend ; nor relyed on any vertuous ground ; nor reserv'd one poore minute to meditate of the supreme good ; nor valued ought worthy esteeme , but what the world brought forth ; nor ever en●…ered into consideration of his owne estate ; nor accounted otherwise of reli●…ion , than as a cloake ; nor of christianitie , than as a dreame ; nor of the whole practice of pietie , than of ●…umane policie . behold how his fr●…ends discard him ; hypocrisie arraignes him ; his long belull'd conscienc●… awakes him ; atheisme condemnes him ; and his desperate contempt of veritie hopelesly torments him ! see how this grand polititian hath deluded himselfe ! how this co●…terfeite picture , who was neither masculine nor feminine christian , but a neuter , hath catcht himselfe in his owne ●…rror ! his discourse of heaven , was as of a matter of complement ; his treatie of earth , as of his choicest continent . but now ●…is mouth is fill●…d with gravell ; and that which once che●…r'd him , hath now choaks him . to his outward friends hee walk't in a mist , but to his inward hee c●…uld ●…ot ; by the former as hee was discarded , so by the latter is h●…e discovered . long time hee d●…spenc'd with con●…cience : who 〈◊〉 h●…th vow'd no longer 〈◊〉 . . an ostler is a ●…ottleman ; not a ba●…ber in europe can set a better edge on his razor , than hee can set on horses teeth , to save hi●… provender . the proverbe is ; the masters eye 〈◊〉 his horse ; but the ostlers starves him . now , if you desire to h●…ve your palfrey make quicke dispatch of his provender , m●…ke your ostler his supervisor , and by nimble co●…veyance he will quickly make an empty manger . what a rubbi●…g and scrubbing hee will make in hope of a small reward at cloze of a reckoning ? what humble obeysance may you expect at his hand , when he prostrates himselfe in such low service to the heeles of your horse ? thus labours he by currying your beast , to curry favour with your selfe . hee ha's no litter●…re , ●…hough hee trade something ●…are it . he●… profits out of measure ; his ostrie must not be tide to winchester . if oates seeme deare , hee will tell you how much their price quickned at every quarter last ma●…ket day : and hee ha's one close at his elbow that will second him . hee will justifie it , that no hoast on all the road got his hay so sweetly or seasonably as his master . though th●…re bee ostlers of all countreys , yet generally are they northerne men ; and those you shall finde the simplest , but diligent'st , and consequently the honestest ; for industry and simplicitie are antidotes against knavery . but it is twenty to one , hee will be as neere your co●…ntreyman as hee can informe himselfe , purposely to procure your better respect , and purchase the larger reward . hee will tell you , if hee find you credulous , that your horse hurts at w●…thers , or hee is hoofe-bound ; but referre all unto him , and you shall bee sure to pay both sadl●…r and farrier for nothing . hee can direct you to a pot of the nappiest ale in all the streete , and conduct you too , so the tapster know not . hee ha's sundry petty-officers , as vnder-ostlers , litter-strowers , boot-catchers , to whom little accrues after his deductions . he pro●…esseth some skill in horses , and knowes how to cure diuers maladies with oyle of oates ; but hee will never cure so many as he ha's diseas'd , nor fat so many as he ha's starv'd . to a bare stranger that promiseth but small profit to the stable , hee will be as peremptorie as a beadle . he will feed his horse with delayes and demurres , and cause him stay greater guests leasure . but how officious the snake will bee , where hee smels benefit ? he speakes in his ostrie ( the chiefe seate of his hypparchie ) like a frog in a well , or a cricket in a wall. when guests horses stand at livery , he sleepes very little , fearing lest they should eate too much ; but at bottle , hee is more secure ; howsoever , he ha's a dainty deutifrice that will charme them . hee is a constant stable man ; and herein onely commendable ; consta●…cy in respect of his place , and humilitie in respect of his person , makes him both knowne and k●…avish . he ha's a notable glib veine in vaine discourse : no countrey can you name , but it is in his verge ; his long acquaintance with people of all conditions and countrie●… , is become so mathematically usefull unto him , as he ha's the geographicall m●…ppe of the whole co●…tinent ( so farre as this lland extends ) i●… his illiterate pericranium ; which he vents by way of description , upon every occasion ; and this he makes his weekely stablelecture . he is at very little charge with his 〈◊〉 but for his ●…alse sh●…rt and night-cap ; which he weares as ornaments to his p●…ofession , and in them acts his daily penance : for it is his use to encounter your pal●…ry in a shirt of male , be he male or female . if he rise to any preferment , he may say , gramercy horse ; yet will he hardly confesse so much . he aspires somtimes to tapster , holding it the more beneficiall place ; but howsoever , better for him , for hee may now d●…ke of free cost . long-winter nights watching , and early rising ( for hee must bee either the guests cocke , or they his ) have much foreslow'd his diligence : for now hee will endure a call or two before hee rise . but this is no fault of his , but the diversitie of his occasions : for his desire is naturally to rise early , and to be officious to his guests before they bee stirring , in giving their horses provender , which they may dispatch in a trice , before ever their masters come out of their chambers . when hee finds convenient time and leasure , hee will tosse a pot sociably with his neighbour . but none are so familiar with him as the smith and sadler , whom hee is bound to present ( upon some private composition ) to any gentleman or other , that shall have occasion to use them . if hee may make so much bold with you , hee will send his commends sweetned with a nutmeg , by you to the ostler of your next i●…ne ; & this bege●…s reciprocall courtesies betwixt them , with titles too , which they are wholly guiltlesse off ; as honest boy ; true blade , &c. but these stiles are but given them by their fellow ostlers , whose desertlesse commendations exact as much at their hands . if hee be but indifferently honest ( as i would have no superlative degrees of honesty in that profession ) hee improves the benefit of the in●… above comparison : all desire to harbour where there is an honest ostler . which opinion once purchased , hee retaines for ever ; and by it strengthens him with his masters favour . hee begins now to bee a landed man by meanes of his honesty and usury . if he●… have the grace to stay the good houre , hee may succeed his master , and by matching with his m●…stresse rise to inne-keeper . but this is very rare , for hee is not by halfe so neate a youth as the chamberlaine . long and sore did hee labour in the spring of his youth , before hee came to reape any crop in the 〈◊〉 of his age . hee is now growne resty . p●…ofit is an alluring bai●…e , but it cannot make him doe that which hee did . now hee loves to s●…ort under the manger , and sleepe out his time before his departure : yet he cannot endure that any should succeed him in his place , though hee cannot supply it himself . well , suppose him now drawing on to his last quarter ; some graspes or gripes of mortality hee feeles , which makes him conclude in his owne element ; grasse and hay , we are all mortall . hee could for all this , finde in his heart to live one yeare longer ; to compare his last yeares vailes and this together ; and perchance , redeeme his arrerages too with better measure . but his ostrie is shut up ; the guests gone ; their reckoning paid ; onely a poore guest of his owne stayes yet in her i●…e . and ha's not discharged . but now i see the i●…e dissolved ; the signe of her being fallen to earth , and de●…aced and his inmate lodged , where the great inne-keeper ha's appointed . a post-master is a chequerman : who though hee gallop ●…euer so fast , yet can hee hardly with his post ouertake his ●…ay ; fo●… that is alwaies before hand with him . the first question he askes you , ( for else he ha's none materiall ) where is your commission ? though you know the length of his stage , and price of his miles , yet his post-boy hath horses of all prices : to whom if you bee not liberally minded , looke for no other but to bee lamely mounted . one would verily thinke that hee had some charme in the blast of his horne , for he makes passengers leave their high-road and give way in the midst of winter , to foundred hackneys inevitable danger . hee rides as securely as if hee were in fee with high-way men , before whom hee may whistle as merrily as an emptie . traveller , without lea●…t feare of encounter . our night is his artificiall day , as hee makes it . there is nothing that gives so terrible a report in his eare as a packet of letters , for that postes away at free cost . to save weight hee seldome rides with a band , unlesse it be upon affaires of highest consequence , and then this hopefull sprig holds it no small honour to pride himselfe in the weare of an halter . hee is generally more peremptorie than other guides ; for you may haue them as you two can agree ; and they will usually abate of their demands ; but two pence halfe pennie a mile is his price , and hee will not abate a denere of it through out all his stage . hee will discourse with you most cursorily , touching what hee heare●… of matters of state : and to gaine him more esteeme in the opinion of the ignorant , will not sticke to bely his knowledge . hee is valiant , not by naturall instinct , but by vertue of his commission , which authorizeth him to take way of his betters . hee can retur●…e a surly answer , or resolve a waggish question , and this is wit enough for one of his profession . he is familiarly vers'd with oaths of all natures ; and these hee blusters out as frequently , as if they w●…re his naturall rhetorick . hee quarters out his life into foure cantons , eating , drinking , sleeping and riding ; but the second and last are two principall ones . h●…e trusseth up your port●…antua wi●…h all 〈◊〉 and alacrity , to 〈◊〉 your good opi●…ion , but most of all i●… hope of your bounty . h●…s 〈◊〉 a●…e meerely voluntaries , which ( so prevalent is custome ) hee as constantly expects , as if they were his 〈◊〉 : your liberality makes him register your name ; enroule you amo●…g his benefactors ; and take notice of you upon your retur●…e : yet must you continue your munificence , or former bounties will dive deepe into the lethe of forgetfulnesse . hee will bee your servile servant so long as hee tast●…s of your benevol●…ce ; your pampered lade shall not bee foundred of all foure , your palfrey loosely saddled , or budget carelesly trussed . besides , to expr●…sse a kind of morall remembrance of curtsies received , like a gratefull gnat , he will recommend your bounty to his succeeding post-boy , who will accurately furnish you with a dreami●…g drom●…dary , to accelerate your journey . hee rides altogether up●…n spurre , and no lesse is 〈◊〉 for his dull supporter ; who is ●…s familiarly acquainted with a ●…anterbury , as hee who makes chaucer his author , is with his tale ; and who by sore expe●…ence and spur-ga●…'d dilige●…ce is growne well-neare as intelligible as his m●…ster , in the distance of his stage ; further than which it is impossible to hale him . hee rides most commonly with on●… spurre ; and to him that is so inquisitive , as hee will demand the reason of it , hee can readily shape him this waggish answer ; hee holds two superfluous , for if the one ●…ide of his lad●… goe forward , hee thinkes hee will not leave the other behind . hee becomes in short time an excellent farrier ; which knowledge he attaines out of his owne proper but bitter experience : for his stable is a very shop of all diseases ; glanders , yellowes , fashions , maladers , curbs , scratches , staggers , strangles , ringbones , windgalls , navelgalls , bogspavings , with a myriad more of practicall contingents become his familiar acquaintance . on these hee daily practiseth , but rarely cureth . a packe of dogs he usually keepes , which hee feedes with the provision of his owne stable : for hee that us'd to carry one , in short space becomes carrion . he holds shooes usel●…sse implements , for hee seldome rides a bootl●…sse●…rrand ●…rrand . and now drawing neare the end of his stage , he is neither much wiser nor richer , then when hee first entred the world . his life as it properly resembles a post , ( for it cannot have relation to an apter comparison ) is now very nearely runne out a breath . and yet observe the miserable condition of this horse-fly ! though hee never gained farther experience in the whole course of his life than the practise of some curelesse cures , the distance of his owne stage , to give a windy summons with his horne , and to hoise a pot of ale at the doore , yet nothing is so bitter to him as the remembrance of his dissolution . his life was a labor , his age a pilgrimage , his service servitude . no rest , no repose , poor repast tasted hee on earth : yet preferres hee this labour before a quiet and reposed harbour . many yeares ha's hee spent to small purpose ; his hours are uselesse ; his endeavours fr●…itlesse ; and now after such a quotidian feaver of an hectick●… labour , being fallen from his horse , and out of request ( by a writ of ea●…e ) with that science he becomes wormes provender : for his legac●…es , they are to bee discharged out of arrerages ●…rom the exchequer . . a quest-man is a man of account for this yere : yet of 〈◊〉 such honour i●… new-troy , as he was in old-rome . he never goes withou●… his note-booke , w●…ich . 〈◊〉 ●…ee have so much lati●…e , he 〈◊〉 ●…is vade mecvm . wher●… i●… he ha'●… th●… names of all the 〈◊〉 , middle . sizemen , and 〈◊〉 , wi●…hin his whole ward . and this is all the m●…thod 〈◊〉 is r●…quired in his common-place book . he is a sworne man ; which oa●…h serves an ●…njunction upon his conscience to be honest howsoever , hee must bee brought to accompt for it . the day of his election is ●…ot more ready for him , than h●… fo●… it . hee assumes upon h●…m a parcell of illb●…seeming gravit●…e ; strokes his beard , as if it were the dew-lap of his conce●…te ; fetcheth an imperti●…ent 〈◊〉 , purpo●…ely to pump for more wit ; and co●…cludes with a set punctual gesture , laying his soape-besmeared hand upon his reverend brest : god make me an honest man. whence he most ingenuously implyes , that hee is not as yet , made that man hee should be : but much may be done in time . hee keep●…s an ●…speciall register of all such ●…nmates a●… nestle within his ward : whose povertie must be squeezd to eas●… the richer ; yet sleighted with neglect for their labour . these hee visits qua●…terly , which visitation they ( poore gnats ) may properly tearme a plague ; which in time they recover of , for it leaves not a token . some treasure he hath under his hand , which hee must returne ; hee can convert very little to his owne use , nor defeate the parish of any house rent : for hee ha's as wise men as himselfe in the ward , who now in his lifetime are made his supervisors , to looke to his fingers , that the pretended gravitie or reverence of his person authorize him not to abuse his place . this makes many more unwilling to be so dignified ; because much labour but small profit is to accrue it . yet his wifes pew in the church is a mighty motive : for by this meanes shee becomes exalted according to the dignitie of his office , which with a most supercilious zeale she accepts ; and doub●…s not but some of her neighbours will envie it . this place hath not put on more reverence in him , than state on her . eye but her postures , and you will confesse it . her eye is wandring , wooing observance . her f●…ote most gingerly paced , for more state-reservance . her tougue too civ●…cally mincing , for vulgar attention . meane time , this questman he●… husband , the better to enable him for his place , becomes frequently versed in sundry ancient presidents . he casts his eye behi●…de him , to see wh●…t was done before him : and hee smiles at the simplicitie of his preceeding officers ; and turning to himselfe , most sagely concl●…des : the●…e wanted thy sconce boy . he is now a●…mitted ( by 〈◊〉 of the reverence of his haires ) to the learned counsell of the ward . where he shoots his bolt with the foremost . some orders or parochiall constitutions , hee ha's beene long studying , which he purposeth the next revestrie day to present to the rest of his worshipfull brethren , to the end they may bee put in speedy execution . but l●…ke good purposes , ( the more is the pitty ) they seldome take . after evening prayer time , he descends immediatly into the low gallery , which he with the rest of the wise masters make their consistorie . where ( like good parishioners , studious of the publike good ) they treat of all such abuses as are crept into the body of their ward . while their censures become as ●…ifferent , as their persons ; their voyces as their places . one shewes ●…imselfe a paracelsian , and hee professeth the cure of these maladies by mineralls and incisions ; another a dioscoridan , and he holds them more curable by leniments , emplasters , and unctions ; the third a meere mountebanke florentine , who wraps up his receits in a remnant of rhetoricall bombast , but never returnes one healthfull patient . so long , and as fruitlesse as long , debate they the cause and cure of these ●…normities , till an aged nod or two dissolve their councell : and summon them to a new 〈◊〉 upon expence of halfe pints a peece . where they fall in , till some argument , whereof they are ignorant , make them fall out . all which time our 〈◊〉 scornes to bee silent ; as one desirous rather to speake to no purpose , ●…han not to speake at all . some quaint words hath he got , which he u●…derstands not ; and these he useth upon all occasions . neither are they more ignorantly delivered by him , than they are pittifully ad●…ired by them . it is a strange thing to observe how much he●… is improved since the last yeere : neither is it possible to dive into the reason of it . for ●…ither is there some admirable secret facultie concealed from the judgement of man , in the lining of a furr'd gowne , or else it is to bee wondred at , whence this late-bred sufficiencie of his should proceede . but in this surely h●…e shewes himselfe most wise , in that hee communicates not his knowledge to any but the ignorant : for it is that makes his judgement passe for currant . but his yeere is now upon expiration ; and his account drawing to his preparation . where honestie and 〈◊〉 m●…ete , there cannot chuse but bee a good account . and in him neither can b●…e wanting ; for his b●…ard shewes the one , and his place proves the other . hee cannot now shew himselfe so shallow nor appeare so silly , but hee will retaine the opinion of a deepehead-peece : for hee is now o●…e of the seniours . a very small portion of understandi●…g , and lesse of wit , will serve him to spinne out the remainder of his time . for a cipher in some place stands in more account , than a figure doth in another . what rests now , but that he rest , since his rents are collected , his account perfected , himselfe discharged , and another pew-fellow , equall to him both for worth and wit , by generall vote and voice elected ? . a ruffian is a roring dam without a ruffe . none more valiant than hee in tongue , lesse resolute in heart . he ha's vow'd to bee ill-condition'd in all companies ; and to presse a quarrell rather than misse it . a white-liver'd souldier and a gallant is the fittest patient hee can practise on . one would thinke his very language would fall at ods with it selfe , and out-brave the speaker . he ha's a dangerous eye , not to strike ( for so i meane not ) but to move ones patience to strike him . for a kinde of uncivile contempt doth alwayes attend his looke , as base provoking language accompanies his tongue . hee hath ranked himself with a troope of shallow uncivile shallops , like himselfe : whose chiefest valour consists in braves , scru'd faces , desperate mouchato's , new-minted oaths ; all which moulded together , make a terrible quarter in an ordinarie . he weares more metall on his heele , than in his purse . he triumphs damnably on some stolne favour , bee it lighter than a feather , and threatens mischiefe to him that will not pledge her . but it falls out many times , that he is bastinado'd out of this humour . you shall best distinguish him by a nastie neglectfull carriage , accoutred with disdaine and contempt , so as his very countenance is a letter of challenge to the beholder . those which know him , rather jeere him , than feare him : for they experimentally know , that a pigmey would beat him . and with such ( forasmuch as his shoulders have felt their censure ) hee keepes a faire and civile quarter . his soveraignty is showne highest at may-games , wakes , summerings , and rush-bearings : where it is twentie to one but hee becomes beneficiall b●…ore he part , to the lord of the man our by meanes of ●… bloody nose or a broken pate . hee will now and then for want of a better subject to practise on , squabble with the minstrell , and most heroically break his drone , because the drone cannot rore out his tune . the wenches poore soules , sh●…ke in their skinnes , fearing a mischiefe : and intreat their ●…hearts to give him faire language . all is out a square while hee is there . but th●…se are but his 〈◊〉 pagea●…ts . hee will i●…trude most frontl●…sly into any company ; and advance himsel●…e with the highest at an ordinari●… ; yet many times hee eates farre more than hee can defray ; yea , now and then hee receives where hee should disburse ; a kicke , i meane , from some surly naprie groome , which serves in full discharge of his commons . never crept fardell of worser qualities into more choyce and select companies . but these hee cannot consort with long . for their purses are too strong-string'd , their hearts too well - 〈◊〉 , their hands too truly-metal'd to veile to his b●…senesse . he must be discarded , and with disgrace , if he haste not . suppose him then with his restie regiment dropping out of a three-pennie ordinarie : where the last mans cloake is sure to bee seaz'd on for all the reckoning . but when the cooke eyes it more precisely , and considers how irreparably it is aged , hee will not take it in full satisfaction of his hungry commons , without some other pawne : which for feare of clubbes , they submissively condescend to : by disroabing one of their complices , who may best spare it , of an ancient buff-jerkin ; whose lapps you may imagine , by long use , so beliquor'd and belarded , as they have oyle enough to frie themselves without any other material . yet they cannot pocket up this indignitie with patience : wherefore they vow to be revenged , which for most part , is as basely clozed . next night the●…efore , these nittie ha●…ters intend with strong hand to breake his glass●…indow's , or at dead-time of night to pull downe his signe : and so ends their faire quarrel . to a play they wil hazard to go , though with never a rag of mon●…y : where after the second act , when the d●…ore is weakly guarded , they will make sorcibl●… entrie ; a knock with a cudgell is the worst ; whereat though they grumble , they rest pacified upon their admittance . forthwith , by violent assault and assent , they aspire to the two-pennie roome ; where being furnished with tinder , match , and a portion of decayed barmoodas , they smoake it most terribly , applaud a prophane jeast unmeasurably , and in the end grow distastefully rude to all the companie . at the conclusion of all , they single out their dainty doxes , to clozeup a fruitlesse day with a sinnefull evening . whereto ( truth is ) they repaire , rather for releefe then to releeve : yea , their house of sin becomes oft-times their house of correction : for when they will not pay for what they call for , lais and her laundrie will returne them their payment by assistance of such familiar inmates , as she will make bold to call for . but suppose now this ty●…darian tribe dispersed , out of all civile societies discarded , and with no better entertainment than contempt , wheresoever received . our ruffian ha's left his mates , and they him . povertie ha's now seaz'd on him ; for his braine , it is as barren of a shift , as his backe guiltlesse of a shirt . those iron tooles of his , with which hee affrighted his scar-crowes , hang now in long-lane for a signe of the sword and buckler . his slasht suite , like l●…bels or tart-papers hang peeee meale , estrang'd both from substance and colour . his yingling sp●…rre hath lost his voyce , his head his locke ; yea , his decayed lungs the puff of a r●…rer . the wall now must bee no subject of quarrell ; nor his distended mouch●…to a spectacle of terrour . the extreamest effects of hunger , have taken him off from standing upon points of honour . he would gladly encounter with death if hee durst : but there was such distance betwixt him and the rememberance of it , during the whole progresse of his unfruitfull life , as now it startles him to entertain●… the least thought of death . yet may this bee one of his inferiour comforts , hee leaves nothing behind him , that may bee termed properly his owne , that is worth enjoying . in a word , he cannot be so wearie of the world , as it was long since of him . never was creature lesse usefull or more unfruitfull ; let it content hi●… , that hee hath prevented that contempt by dying , which hee should have i●…curred dayly by living . . a sayler is an otter ; an amphibium that lives both on land and water . hee shewes himselfe above hatches in shape like a male meeremaid , visible to the halfe body . hee stands at his 〈◊〉 , and holds out his hand to you , as if he craved your more acquaintance : where , though hee tell you , that hee is your first man , doe not beleeve him : for his founder zabul●…n was long after adam . hee never shewes himselfe nimbler , nor contests with his fellowes with more active vigour , than in shooting the bridge at a low water . hee will hazard a life in a whirlewind without feare , rather than lose the benefit o●… his fare . the bredth of an inch-boord is betwixt him and drowning , yet he●… sweares and drinks as deepely , as if hee were a fathom from it . his familiarity with death and danger , hath armed him with a kind of dissolute security against any encounter . the sea cannot rore more abroad , than hee within , fire him but with liquor . hee is as watchfull as a crane in a storme , and as secure as a dormo●…se in a calme . in a tempest you shall heare him pray , but so amethodically , as it argues , that hee is seldome vers'd in that practice . feare is the principall motive of his devotion ; yet i am perswaded , for forme sake , he shewes more than hee feeles . hee loves to fish in troubled waters , have an oare in every mans boate , and to breake the tenth commandement in the conclusion of his lukewarmeprayer ; hey , for a rich prize . he●… lives in a tottri●…g state , and he sits himselfe to it . hee is as constant as the moone in his resolves . so hee can have sea-roome , no coast holds it selfe to bee of more firme land. if hee play the sea-sharke , and advance his fortunes by a precious prize : yet to spare his executors that labour , hee intends a course to leave them few ends of gold or silver . hee must feede his valour with the liquid sp●…rit of some piercing elixer : and thus hee ducks and dives out his time like a true didapper . hee makes small or no choice of his pallet ; he can sleepe aswell on a sacke of pumice as a pillow of downe . he was never acquainted much with civilitie : the sea ha'●… taught him other rhetoricke . compassionate himselfe hee could never much , and much lesse another . he ha's condition'd with the sea not to make him sicke : and it is the best of his conceite to jeere at a ●…ueasie stomacke . hee is more active than contemplati●…e , unlesse h●… turne ast●…nomer , and that is only in cases of extremity . he is most constant to his shirt , and other his seldome-wash'd linnen . he ha's been so long acquainted with the surges of the sea , as too long a calme distempers him . he cannot speake low , the sea talkes so lo●…d . his advice is seldome taken in navall affaires ; though his hand be s●…rong , his head-peece is stupid . he is used therefore as a necessary instrument of action : for hee can spinne up a rope like a spider , and downe againe like a lightning . t●…e rope is his roade , and the top-mast his beac●…n . one would think his body were wounded , for hee weares pitch cloath upon it : but that is invulnerable , unlesse a bullet casually finde out a loope-hole , and that quite ripps up his saile-cloath . he partakes much of the chameleon , when hee is mounted the top-mast : where the ayre is his diet-bread . his visage is an unchangeable var●…ish ; neither can winde pierce it , nor sunne parch it . he ever takes worst rest when he goes to bed most sober . hee will domineere furiously in the height of his potation , but hee is quickly cudgell'd out of that humour by the master of the house of correction . hee ha's coasted many countreys , arrived sundry havens , sojourned in flourishing cities , and conversed with various sorts of people : yet call him to account , and you shal find him the unfruitfull'st navigatour that ere you conversed with . deepe drinkers have ever shallow memories : he can remember nothing more precisely , than the great vessel at heidelberg ; affaires of ●…tate are above his sconce . it is his best arithmetick to remember his months pay : and if necessitie urge him not , hee would scarcely thinke on that either . what a starveling hee is in a frosty morning with his seafrocke , which seemes as if it were shrunke from him , and growne too short , but it wil be long enough ere hee get another ? his signe is alwayes in aquarius , unlesse hee bee in his pots , and then it is in aries . hee is of a phlegmatick watry constitution ; very little sanguine , unlesse it bee in a sea-fight ; wherein , though he expect no honour , he expresseth some dying sparkes of valour , in hope to become sharer in a pyraticall treasure . hee hath an invincible stomack , which ostridge-like could well-neare digest iron . he is very seldome subject to surfet , or shorten the dayes of his watry p●…lgrimage with excesse : unlesse it fall out upon rifling of wines , that he endanger his top-saile with an over-charge . he is many times so long on sea , as hee fo●…gets his friends by land. associats hee ha's , and those so constantly cleaving , as one voyce commands all . stares cannot bee more faithfull in their society , than these hanskins in their fraternity . they will brave it valiantly , when they are ranked together , an●… relate their adventures with wonderfull terror . yet these relations ever halt through want of learning , which defect abridgeth the story of their deserving . necessary instruments they a●…e , and agents of maine importance in that hydrarchy wherin they live ; for the walles of their state could not subsist without them : but least usefull they are to themselves , and most needfull of others supportance . they taste of all waters and all weathers : onely the gale of prosperitie seldome breathes on their sailes : neither care they much for any such companion . they ●…epe without feare of loosing what they enjoy ; and in enjoying little , they share in the lesse burden of cares . yet it is much to bee wondred at , that our sayler should have such frequent occasion to erect his eye upward , and retaine such servile dejected thoughts inward . he converseth with the starres , observes their motions , and by them directs his compasse ▪ singular notions derives hee from them , meane time hee is blind to him that made them . he sliceth the depths , and is ignorant of him that confine●… them ; he cutteth the surging swelling waves , and thinks not of him that restraines them ; he coasteth by the shel●…s , and forgets him that secures him . true is that maxime ; custome takes away the apprehension of passion . in the infancy of his pro●…ession , there appeared not a billow before his eyes , which convey'd not a feare unto his heart . numerous perils ha's hee now passed , hourely objects of approaching danger are presented , yet these aswell as those equally sleighted . death he ha's seene in so many shapes , as it cannot amate him , appeare it never so terrible unto him . yet needs must that enemy affright him against whom hee comes , for whom hee was never provided before hee came . well ; suppose him now ●…rawing towards the port , where all mortalitie must land . hee ha's tugg'd long enough upon the maine , he must now gather up his vessels within the haven . he ha's drawne in his sayles and taken adew of the sea : unlesse she shew him so much kindnesse , as to receive him into her briny bosome , and intombe him dying , whom she entertained living : which courtesie if she tender him , the wormes are deceived by him , for hee goes not the way of all flesh , but the way of all fish , whose fry feedes on him , as their foref●…thers fed him . . a traveller is a iourneyman ; but can never bee freeman , till hee bee end●…nized in his owne countrey . hee is troubled with a perpe●…uall migrim ; at sea hee wisheth to bee on land , and on land at sea. hee makes his life a right pilgrimage , for hee finde●… no place to abide in , but only to ●…ojourne in : so as the wandring iew may bee his embleme . the whole world is his inne , where savage beasts aswell as reasonable men are his inmates . hee converseth with all nations , and p●…rtakes of their natures : wh●…rein generally , ●…ice becomes a more attractive object than vertue . whence it is , that hee oftner i●…proves his knowledge , than his 〈◊〉 ; his language , than carriage . hee takes a survey of this universe , in the sites of cities , countries a●…d provinces ; and observes what s●…emes most remarkeable ; meane time hee observes himselfe so sleightly , as o●…e can hardly distinguish the substance from the sh●…dow . now hee is for lanching i●…to the deep●… ; to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 stat●…s ; 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 himselfe all the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…dy age wher●…in 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 out some 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 or other from 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 make his fruitles●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…lued , himselfe 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 his re●…urne mor●… 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 will usually lose 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…lated discourse of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 : and if his memory 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , ●…mpe hi●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , ye●… , n●…w ●…nd 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 absurd 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…cipall subject o●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 upon rare 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…ments , which hee 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 su●…h ●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , as 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 his 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 er●…han ●…han 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 blazons as if he were their herald : styling constantinople the store-house of greece ; paris the regall of france ; venice the eye of italy ; florence the seat of beauty ; rome the lady citty ▪ with her imprese : orbis in vrbe . in which , as in all things els , he is meerely titular . he can mould himselfe to all conditions , fashions & religions . but in all these three hee returnes for most part , far worse than before he went forth . in the first he ha's learn'd to be loose & lascivious ; in the ●…econd , phantastically humorous ; in the third , strangely superstitious . some things hee observes worth remembring , if hee liv'd in an other age : but like an understanding timist , hee holds no concurrence with that fashion , which ag●…ees not with the humour of his nation . having now chang'd his ayre , and with continuance , his h●…ire , but not one of his ●…onditions ; he reviewes his owne cou●…trey with a kind of disdainefull loathing , as if there were nothing in it worthy l●…ving . he disvalues out rarities , disesteemes our beauties , j●…eres at our complement , slights our entertainem●…nt , and clozeth up his u●…seasoned distaste with an interjection of admiration : o the rare objects that i have seene in my dayes ! then hee runnes on in a meere verball circuit of affected discourse , which the ignorant onely admire , and weaker than wome●… affect . meane time , hee introduceth some conceits of his owne , as fashions in r●…quest : whi●…h hee seconds with high approv●…t , being his owne 〈◊〉 . a●…d that hee might represent in himselse this patterne of perfection , and move others to imitate his postures : you may suppose him walking , like one ●…ade up 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ; 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 him , nor 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…ooke ●…o 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , no●… 〈◊〉 ●…composed 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 accoutre him . with ●…hat c●…pt he 〈◊〉 ●… com●… ▪ co●…gie ? and as if it we●… 〈◊〉 , to a man of hi●… pl●… , 〈◊〉 to observe his distance , 〈◊〉 a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 or ●…od ▪ aswell as pace ▪ 〈◊〉 will rectifie that error too , to make those co●…orts with ●…hom hee deignes to converse , or com●…ate himsel●…e ▪ every way acc●…d as himselfe . he●… hol●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 much ingag'd to his o●…ces : so highly hath 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 with him ▪ 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 b●…ught 〈◊〉 ●…o 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . now ▪ should ●…ee 〈◊〉 ●…p 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ▪ 〈◊〉 collect the be●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of his tra●… ▪ 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 expence of his 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ; 〈◊〉 ●…ould 〈◊〉 his 〈◊〉 g●…eat , his 〈◊〉 ●…ts small : his ●…s 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 short of hi●… d●… . hee is 〈◊〉 , ind●…d , in that which this age calls co●…t hee is all for your serv●… serva●… , and titles of lowest observance . hee overcomes his mistresses stomach with this overlarded protest ; he lives not but by her , nor desires to live but for her ; hee plants his love in an equall diameter betweene bellon●… and minerv●… , reason and courage ; yet is hee no lesse barraine of the one , than coole in the other . or else , hee marrieth with his instrument his voyce , matched with an italian canto , and ayr'd with more 〈◊〉 , than hee ha's pence in his budget . this is the vintage of his pilgrimage . he hath traced this th●… of earth , and made himselfe the embleme of what hee is ; much hath hee seene , with many hath hee convers'd , and a full view hath hee taken of this inferiour globe . div●…rsity of soiles , variety of fruits , multiplicity of creatures h●…ve his eyes enjoyed , yet rest not satisfied ; through many coasts and countreyes hath hee travell●…d , yet his experience in those peoples natures little improved ; in sundry citties hath hee sojorned , yet from their knowledge now estranged . merchants of unvalued fortunes hath hee seene splitted , while their factors sported ; ruin'd while they rioted . cur●…izans hee hath observed , their sumptuous state , the fuell of their maintenance , and how their comick scenes ever clozed with tragick catastrophe●…s . forraine savorites hath hee marked , their projects , designes , ●…vents : what faire flourishes their first admittance to their princes p●…esence shewed ; how soone tho●…e fading blossoms of vading glory were nipped . stately and sumptuous statues of victorious champions hath hee eyed , their inscriptions perused , and trampled upon those scattred ashes ( the remaines of a greater worke ) which sometimes were with the b●…eath of fame enlivened . thus great stones are become great mens covers . no distinction betwixt the noble and ignoble , save onely that the higher peer●… is crushed with the heavier pils . high and goodly structures brought to rubbish , and flourishing states to ruine , hath hee noted . and now drawing towards his owne native so●…le ; hee admireth nothing more , than to see hospitality so much honoured abroad , and so contemp●…ible at home . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 househol●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . he goes to the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 knocks , but the court●…a's ●…a's swallow'd vp the hall ; this complete peregrine may sooner breake his nocke thun his fast ; which makes him cry out most passionately , forth of a sensible compassion of his owne necessity : o the 〈◊〉 of hospitality which i have seene ! but by this time , his carier●… through the world hath made him wearie . he ha's a great desire for the benefit of his countrey ( as hee pretends ) to communicate these leane scraps of his starved travailes to the world . publish'd hee would have them ( according to the erata's of his life ) : in folio : but so indigested are his collections , and so illaborate his style , as the stationer shunnes them like a noli me tangere , fearing their sale . well ; though the world will not receive them ; long winter-nights and his neighbours credulous eares shall enter●…aine them . where having told his tale , hee hopes out of the wide circumference of his trav●…iles , to find so much ground as will afford him a grave . . an vndersheriffe . is a master of fence ; and by deputation , the co●…ntenance of of the county wherein hee lives ▪ the kings letters he opens as familiarly , as if they were but neighbourly commends : and bring●… more unwelcome salutes from the prince , to his subject , than he hath thanks for . wai●…es and straies hee impounds in his pocket : for felo●…s goods , hee compounds for them at his owne rate : all which hee doth by vertue of his office , if there bee any vertue extant in it . a terrible pudder hee keepes with his repledges and distresses : the state could hardly subsist without such a grave ▪ censor . hee professeth more execution than judgement . a great portion of his discretion is incorporated in his whi●…e staffe : which is as terrible to a yealous debter , as deaths head to an ●…surer . if hee attemper his office with the balme of con●…ivence , it bindes an ample recompence . next to whetting ones knife at the counter-gate , i hold it the 〈◊〉 assay to affront him ▪ if you would gratifie him , a better turne you cannot doe him , than by turning informer at the sheriffs turne . where , presentments of decayed wayes , but●… , blood-sheds , with other enormities , are no lesse beneficiall to the publike state in their redresse , than to his private stocke upon the distresse . notable cunning terriers hee hath besides , of all sorts and sizes ; some to rouse and raise his game ; others of lighter temper to have it in hot pursuit : the last sort on whom hee principally relyes , being stronger and stiffer , to cloze & grapple with his prey , and bring it downe . thus hee sh●…wes himselfe every way more active than 〈◊〉 . hee is of an excellent memory : for if you cannot remember your debts your selfe , hee will put you in mind of them . his head is many times full of proclam●…tions , which , hee cannot rest , till hee vent . hee would make a strange secretarie , for hee will not sticke to cry at the crosse , what hee heares . hee tenders all serviceable observance to his superiours , a kind of slight acquaintance to his equalls , but a disdainfull contempt to his inferiours . by helpe of some law-presidents , he retaines the elements of that profession , which hee makes singular use of : though he●… bee no sworne att●…rney , hee can accept grat●…ities in lien of fees ; and by meanes of his i●…bred ingenuity , alter the propriety of them . he is much conversant in the statutes : imploying a great part of his time in an usefull exposition , or rather inversion of them . he would gladlybring in profit , and keepe him●…elfe within compasse of statute . this is the the highest pitch of knowledge , which his vocation calls him to : and this hee hopes conference and experience in time will bring him to . authority is his sole subterfuge in all his extremities : which ( by abusing his author ) many times leaves him in his own hand . in the subject of wr●…gs ; he is oftner active than passive . none can justly lay an aspersion on him , which hee hath not some underhand 〈◊〉 to take to . it is his constant te●…et ; so long as the root holds untainted , the inferiour sprigs and si●… may bee supported : but when it growes shaken , the branches must needs suffer . so long as hee holds up his head , his nits may finde harbour : but squeaze him , and and they are starv'd for ever . hee yearely improves his place by some usefull proiect or other , which hee leaves as a memoriall of his love , and argument of his wit to all succeeding professors in that cra●…t . he never serv'd as apprentice to plasterer or mason , and yet hee knowes the craft of da●…bing ; and hee will lay it on before hee suffer disgrace . crimes require curtaines ; spiders their ●…auls . places of office must be unct●…s if vici●…s . but service is no inheritance ; lest therefore in processe of time , either hee should grow wearie of his place , or his place of him ; like a provident pismire , hee beginnes now in his summer , to store up against wi●…ter . fi●… and amercia●…ents must inhaunce his rents and hereditaments : for which he contracts now and then with the clerke of the market , whom he palpably guls , and consequently proves ; all clerkes are not the wisest men . such a parcell of ground buts neer him , and is an eye-sore to him : gladly would he have it , though the owner have neither mind nor neede to sell it . his braines must plot for this purchase ; and his witty genius , after long plodding , hath found a way to supple him . contempts , which this simple snake never dream'd of , must be forth with levied . no interplea nor demurre will serve ; he must timely prevent the occasion , and remove the ground ( which is the ground-●…ork of his disquiet ) from him and his heires for ever , by accepting a low price to purchase his owne peace , and make the vn●…ersheriffe his friend . of two extreams the lesse is to be chosen ; thus s●…rues he himsel●…e i●…to every convenient bargaine . by this time , so important are his affaires at home , as they estrange him from employments abro●…d . his nimble f●…rrets must ●…ow b●…ome pioners for their 〈◊〉 ; ●…ho coupes them , lest they should grow too fat to endure labour . suppose him then , who was once a man in his time , and an experienc'd professant ; one , who had beene acquanted with most ●…rits except holy writ ; served precepts many , but observed few ; retired like a cricket to his oven-mouth : where he warmes himselfe well without , having cold comfort to warme him within . during the whole progresse of his time hee was for gathering , the residue of his dayes hee be●…owes in disposing . hopefull cubbs he hath to conferre his hopelesse state on . no matter ; their ●…arth-resolving fathers fines make them fine ; his amerci●…ents cause them div●… deepe into the mercers booke . now the webbe of his fading fortunes i●…terwoven with the injurious warp of dishonest practices , is to b●… divi●…d 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 i●… sh●…dds and 〈◊〉 . so mu●…h hee 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…d h●…ire , wh●… 〈◊〉 ●…o 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…irst and last of h●… 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to his second ; so much ●…o his ●…rd : with comp●… portio●… , to b●…tter his daughters proportion●… . meane time , ( see the fatall overture of this wisemans providence ! ) he is called to an accompt before his time , ( yet all in due time ) for ar●…erages to the high-sheriffe his master , and abuse of his place . his whole estate will hardly repay the st●… . hee would gladly come off faire , and i cannot blame him : but his pi●…ce road still at harbour till now : an unexpected ●…mpest hath assailed him : and he ●…ust make speedy restitution for all his pillage . hee could dispense well enough with conscience , and gaine by the c●…ntract : but the misery of it is , hee findes himselfe now at last a prisoner and in bonds to the sheriff●… ; whereby hee stands bound to keepe him harmel●…sse ( but well had it beene for his countrey if he had prov'd so : ) which securitie is the argument of his t●…agedie . it w●…e not amisse that hee altered his will , and ( though much against his will ) made his mast●…r his sole exec●…tor . it must bee so : thus by prolling to get all , hee ha's fool d himselfe out of all : o●…ely , hee may goe with more peace to earth , since hee ha's made so cleare account on earth . it were a si●…ne to disq●…iet him , since hee 〈◊〉 his quie●…us est with him . . a wine-soaker is an ingenious engine , that runs on wheeles . if one of the wits , he is a m●…rry cricket , or a muddy criticke ; a wittie waggish brain●…-worme , and can solely hug a pot , as if it were his darling . he is mighty valiant , for he dare be drunke ; and desperate if hee bee challenged , for his weapons are pot-g●…ns . by this time hee hath called the drawers rogues , with much facilitie , yet ( as hee is a true northerne blade ) joyes in their felicitie . and now , for it growes late , he hath had his evening lecture , and trenching home , suppor●…ed by his friendly impress●…r , makes every foote an indenture . hee calls the scavingers wife familia●…ly 〈◊〉 ●…ough 〈◊〉 be as 〈◊〉 as o●… of 〈◊〉 ●…gher 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 , ●…rough 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of , long 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 f●…ll ( if the cell●… 〈◊〉 be open ) and unsealing hi●… eyes , seeing the consorts of iniquitie , cli●…ging close to a pot in the nooke of a chimney , hee ●…owes himselfe thrice blest to have fallen into so sweete and sociable a company . by this , hee falls further ; whence a p●…danticall 〈◊〉 starts up , and askes him ; what sayes th●… pr●…phet ? and he answers ; h●… bade 〈◊〉 go●… seeke my fath●…rs asses , a●…d having found them to 〈◊〉 againe . after him struts up a most thrasonicall thraskite , and askes him ; what saith th●… calydonia●… po●… : and hee answers , that the 〈◊〉 ●…f an asse in the 〈◊〉 of a cella●… , t●… an illiterate gull is a d●…licate 〈◊〉 . he loves sometimes ●…o take the ay●… , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 strong b●…th th●… 〈◊〉 ●…ffords . wh●…re h●…s 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 encounters with a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , w●…ich sa●…kes his ●…all , make●… his 〈◊〉 c●…t 〈◊〉 e●…glish , his supporte●…s 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 thei●… pos●…ures , ●…nd 〈◊〉 da●…gerously . by this time his 〈◊〉 is heard , and ●…ow th●…s val - 〈◊〉 growne 〈◊〉 , ●…uld fig●…t i●… hee k●…w how 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 his sally out a door●… if he●… 〈◊〉 finde it . ye●… he will out●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…o rem●…die , a●…d stalke h●…meward , ●…hough it be la●…e 〈◊〉 ●…he 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 in 〈◊〉 ●…ay , 〈◊〉 he u●…happily ●…ll into ●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , hee tax●…h ●…he 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 la●… do●…res so 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a●… 〈◊〉 time a ●…ight . y●…t 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 if he can 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 i●… som●… bl●…de , alley , hee terribly affrights the passenger if hee meete any : for hee coasts here and there , as if it were saint anthonies fi●…e , or some ignis fatu●…s ; whereas , his cressetflaming nose is the sole incendiary of these chymera's . hee ha's a mightie desire to squabble with the watch ; but the inarticulate motion of his tongue makes those illiterate r●…g-gownes thinke hee speakes heathen greeke . so as their compassion to a stranger , which they gather by his strange language , moves them to commiserate his case ; this gets him a lanthorne and a conducter ; but for his lodging , he is nere a whit the nearer , for he ha's quite forgot his plantation . thus th●…n like hyppocrates twinnes walke these two coupled together , but secure from danger , for a watchmans lanthorne is a drunkards supersedeas . gladly would this frozen centinell returne to his charge , and leave his luggage : but hee clings to him like the barke to the tree ; hee calls this goat-bearded groome his amaryllis , and hee will love her eternally . at last his a●…aryllis ( this officer i mean ) perswades him for want of a bed to take a nappe on a bench till the morning : but he ha's so much wit as to scorne advice , preferring this walke in his gallery ( for so hee tearmes it ) before the repose in his pall●…t . it is a wonder with what extravagancies hee entertaines his conducter : who admires his l●…arning , if he were himselfe . by this , the blinde lanthorne growes surfoot , sleepie , and thirstie ; along therefore with his zame ( like a night-roving lazarell●… ) hee accoasts a taphouse boldly , thumps stoutly , and by vertue of his au●… ●…ters couragiously . 〈◊〉 a dozen quencheth the officious salamanders thirst , ●…nd 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…andring 〈◊〉 t●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ; ●…here hee is left ●…o t●…e 〈◊〉 c●…re , or drawers cure ; p●…r t●…e charge it is his , if hi●… coyn●… 〈◊〉 a●…swere : howsoever , a good 〈◊〉 never sham'd his master . 〈◊〉 ●… word , hee i●… in the evening , what you shall not finde him in the morning . hee takes leave of th●… draw●…r ▪ with a solemn●… salute 〈◊〉 i●…●…e were dyi●…g ; and so he is , for h●…e 〈◊〉 and dropp●…s downe d●…ad at the ●…nd of a reckoning . . a xantippean is a scold in english. the wheele o●… her tongue goes with a perpetuall motion : yet she spits more than she speakes : and never spits but in spite . shee is never lesse at ease , than when she is quiet ; nor better pleased , than when the whole family is displeased . shee makes every place where shee comes , an 〈◊〉 , and rayles it about at her owne proper charge . she is never at quiet but when she is at rest , nor at rest , but when she is sleeping , nor then neither ; for purposely she awakes the house with a terrible fit of snoring . a burre about the moone is not halfe so certaine a presage of a tempest , as her brow is of a storme . l●…urell , hauthorne , and seale-skinne are held preservatives agai●…st th●…nder ; but no ●…ceite can bee found so soveraigne as to still het clamour . she makes such a pattring with her lips , as if she were pos●…st ; and so shee 〈◊〉 , with the spirit of cont●…ntion . she is wormewood in bed , and a chafing-dish at boord . shee cannot possibly take cold , for shee is ever in a heat . shee holds no infirmit●… worse then to be tongue-●…de . she loves a good bit but hates a bridle . it is a wonder shee fell not fowle with the priest , when shee was married . many times since hath she cursed him , but hee feares no worfe . methinks i see the creeping snaile her husband , blesse him , as if there were light ning , when hee comes in her presence . shee ha's either quite forgot his name , or else shee likes it not , which makes her re-baptise him with names of her owne . shee accoasts him with such fresh but furious encounters , as he sneakes away from her like a tr●…ant from his master . hee is never more homely used than at home : so as to comfort his cold stomach , and encourage him all the better against his next encounter , he hath challeng'd a pot of ale to enter lists with him in a single combat . the challenge is entertained , the field pitched , the weapons provided . where , though the pot lose more blood , yet the challenger gets the foile . home hee would goe , if he could goe , but he must f●…st learne to stand before hee goe ▪ and so by holds till hee crawll home . m●…netime , suppose him now 〈◊〉 out his indentures at le●…gth ▪ obse●…ving his recoyles and r●…treits , and spen●…ing halfe the night and more in his short iourney . moone-light he needes not , for hee hath a nose in graine to guide him , which , were his eyes matches , would quickly fire him . but see the strength of imagination ! while his crazie vessell is rowling homeward , a sudden panicke feare suggests to his phantasie ever working , the apparition of a spirit now approaching . betwixt two wayes , perplexed with two mindes , he stands amazed ; feare bids him retire , and desire bids him go on . and so strange hath his resolution wrought with him , as he intends not onely to goe on his way , but to expostulate the case with this imaginarie hoblin that bids him stay ; and thus hee encounters it , having first blessed him , to make him more suc●…ssive in the conquest of it : if tho●… beest a good spirit , thou wilt doe m●…e no harme , such is my affiance ; and if the divell himselfe , thou hast ●…o reason to doe mee harme , for i married thy sister , and claime thy alliance . but this spirit in a sheete , is presently transform'd into some sheepe , so as his feare ( if he had so much apprehension left him ) is to reflect more on his spirit at home , than this in the way : for this was but seemingly visible , whereas that he goes to , will prove personally sensible . hee findes her asleepe , but muttering words of revenge : which upon her awaking ( and long may it bee first ) shee makes shew of , by grinding he●… teeth , b●…ting her fist , and other outward tokens , fully to execute . all this while , hee sleepes soundly without rocking , till an unseasonable correction awake him . now the waspe is raised ; the horn●…t roused . sure hee is to bee caperclawed ; cap a pe , he hath ●…o sence for it . he must beare it off with he●…d and shoulders , and arme himselfe with patience , against all encounters . every looke she darts is a lash to sco●…rge him ; every word she speaks is a wound to g●…ll him . — non vox hominem sona●… , o lea certe ! happy were hee , if the world were rid of him , or hee of her . gladly would hee reclaime her without shame , or disclaime in her his share : but as shee hates ever to admit of the former , so he despaires of the happi●…es to partake of the later . sūdry distract●…d thoughts doe perplexe him ; sometimes hee thinkes verily , that this ill-agremēt betwixt them , proceds either from some ceremonie in his marriage negle●…ted ▪ or some circum●…e or other om●…tted , or that the ba●…es of 〈◊〉 were not dewly published , or sure in some point or other they were not rightly married . so as , gladly would hee ( if the orders of the church would permit it ) bee remarried , to trie for once a conclusion , if hee cou●…d preuent his former disquiet , by an old ma●…riage new solemnized : but his pastor smell●… his drift , and will by no meanes condescend to so irregular a motion : fearing ( by all likelyhood ) th●…t when hee commes to the giving of this woman to this man , he will not take her but leave her in his owne hand . but his indifferencie little troubles her : her onely feare is , that shee cannot picke quarrels enough to baste him : which afflicts her above comparison . if a●…y one reprove her for it , shee twitts them with ignorance , replying , she knowes better than they what is good for him ; and she seconds her assertion with naturall reading . if cudgelling be usefull to the walnut tree , to make it fruitfull , a little correction seasoned with discretion , cannot do amisse to make her husband more dutifull . this causeth him to resolve some times of more violent conclusions : for hee thinkes with himselfe , how desperate sores must have desperate cures . he vowes therefore , to bring her in all disgrace to the cucking-stoole ; and shee vowes againe , to bring him with all contempt to the stoole of repentance . thus , tread he never so softly , this 〈◊〉 will turne againe . there is no humour ( so strangely is she humorous ) can affect her ; no conceit , how pregnant or present soever , delight her ; no company , how affable or sociable soever , content her . shee is apt to interpret what shee heares , evermore to the worst sense . more captious than capable of offence . impatient of any ones prayse . attentive to the report of their disgrace . onely ●…trong in will , which shee counterpoizeth with want of worth . all her neighbours blesse them from her : wishing this quotidian fever of her tongue cur'd with a raz●…r . she hath liv'd to a faire houre ; for wheresoe're she comes , shee may have the roome her selfe . she needes neither contend nor contest for priority of place , nor precedencie at table , nor opinion in argument ; her selfe serves for a whole messe , for her gossips have left her . well for all this , there is a meagre , rawbon'd shrimpe , that dare and will accoast her . he is not one of many words , though she be . but his will is his law ; which none can oppose , much lesse prevent , with price , prayer , power , or policie . her unpeaceable tong●… must now bee bound to good behaviour ; a lasting silence must charme it . this her neighbours heare , that shee is laid speechlesse , ( which assures them she cannot live long : ) to her therefore they repaire , to performe the last office of christian charitie , and commend her ( with all their hearts ) to earth , implying how weary they were of her company . her funerall solemnity is the first day of her husbands iubile : for all the wrongs she did him on earth , she ha's made him sufficient amends now by her death . howbeit , hee , on whom by generall suffrage of the gods , the golden tripode was first bestowed , and to whom our zantipp●… was espoused , held that currish opinion of timon fit to bee exploded ; who wish'd all women suspended , blessing all such fruit , trees , as were so plentifully stored : to whose milder judgement i appeale ; clozing with the poet. curst bee the tree which timon blest , curst be his hatefull vowes , women were made in bowers to hugge . and not to hang on bow●…s . . a yealous neighbour is an e●…ve-dropper . he would make an excellent ratcatcher , for hee is creeping and sneaking in every corner . though hee have no argument whereon to ground his credulous suspicion , his imagination suggests to ▪ him variety of matter , which serves for fewell to feele his distemper . the signe with him is ever in aries , as hee is strongly conceited . the next yeare hee will bee a high-flyer , for hee is this yeare a brancher . hee dare not for an empire goe a hunting , lest his dogges take him for acteon , and so worry him . his blood is foulely infected , which a●…yes him desperately with the yellowes . the bird galgulus hath first ey'd him , which makes him labour of an incurable iaundise . hee would pawne his estate for those two rings of giges and hans carvile , but the latter hee holds fitter for his purpose , though the former might make him an invisible cuckold . hee lookes with a meagre complexion , which discovers his inward infection . hee feeles not a pimpl●… in his forehead , which publisheth not his fat●… . sometimes hee will expostulate his wrongs himselfe , and say ; well ; what remedy ? i am neither the first nor last ; patie●… shall be my plaister . m●…ane time , hee is as patient as a waspe or an hornet . hee will scarce credit his owne eyes , when he sees nothing but actions of modesty : all which he imagins m●…re deceptions of sight ; purposely to gull his ignora●…ce , and guild s●… with a saintly holinesse . he heares all that neighbour neare him , or resort unto him , say , they never saw children liker their father ; and 〈◊〉 ( replies he ) no●… one of them al is like an other . he is a little puritanically affected , the private conventicles hee affects not . hee feedes his humour more with sh●…dowes than substance . travaile hee would to the next market towne , in hope of profit ; but hee turnes backe before hee come halfe way there , to take her napping to his owne discredit . hee is sometimes resolved to proclaime his shame , but hee feares by that meanes , hee shall increase his shame , and adde to the number of her acquaintance . how like a sillie man hee lookes in the presence of his wife and a proper attendant ? wha●… a dejected eye hee casts upon himselfe , and how ●…lous he is of this strangers count'nance ? he feeles , whether his eares go not through his night-cappe ; and if his forehead beginne not to burgen . hee bids his apprentice looke to his foreman , and acquaint him with what hee heares or sees . hee calls the shoomaker impudent knave , for pulling on his wives shooe ; and offering to beate him , wisheth it were his last : and that , as hee is ever working his owne ends , he may have a speedy end . hee exclaimes grievously against her body-maker , and inverting his name , calles him directly baud-maker : he vowes to strip his corporation starke naked , and lash him with whalebone . hee buyes his wives gownes ready made , fearing ( belike ) some false measure from the tayler . in her presence he fetcheth a deepe sigh , semi-brev'd in these words : well ; shee might bee honest , if shee had so much grace ; i have been held a proper man in my time . you shall find him by whole houres together eave-dropping under his lettice , or peeping through a key-hole , purposely to take her napping . never man tooke more paines to adde fresh fuell to his affliction . hee could wish with all his hart , that it were enacted by the whole house of parliament for fornication to bee f●…lony . he hath solemnely vow'd , never to take journey when either the signe is in ari●…s , 〈◊〉 , or capric●… . when the lion banished all hor●…-beasts his court , it was impossible for me ( saith he ) to turne co●…rtier . hee had some smattering in the elements of all learning , but hee ha's forgot all , and now like a tr●… must turne back to his horne-book●… . thus he trifles out his time in the discovery of his owne sh●…me . he hunts all the day long from chamber to chamber : and lest locks or boults might become a supersedeas to shield her dishonor , he resolves to keep open-●…ouse to give more ayre to his larder , though he suffer pillage for his labour . he hath la●…ly created a new officer , who every evening cryes , h●…ng out your la●…thorne and candlelight maids ; the night is darke , and the entrie long ; timely preventions is the life of policy . with his wife sleeping and waking he keepes diapason ; he wakes till shee sleepe , lest she should give him the slip . his sleepes are shor●… and troubled : and when hee awakes , the first thing hee does , is seeking whether shee bee there or no. hee lookes sometimes as if hee were affrighted ; but it is his owne 〈◊〉 that haunts him : yet were his wife all ●…pirit and no substance , he should be lesse affrighted . hee dare not for a world looke himsel●…e ●… ▪ th glasse , lest he should eye his owne 〈◊〉 . he holds that a wife may ●…e her husband o●…e of the strangest 〈◊〉 in europe . he 〈◊〉 he could sustaine nature without sle●…p , that he might take full●…r view of his wives nightwo●…ks . hee is ●…ever lesse drunke with this distemper , th●…n when he is distempered with liquor : and then hee gives best opportunitie , but sees it not . he hath but lately stept into an office , and that one of the lowest in all his ward , yet hee verily thinks that the whole ward holds him for one of the headmen of their parish . store of bisket , w●…fers and c●…eawayes hee bestowes at his childs christning , yet are his cares nothing lessned ; he is perswaded , that he may eate his part of this babe , and never breake his fast . h●…e presents himselfe for a gentleman-ush●…r to his wife , when her humour is for taking the ayre : before whom he walkes most pedantically stoic●…ll , yet with a r●…cting eye , lest some fiend should steale away his proserpina . in a word , his yealous minde , and his two suspicious eyes are the hesperid●…s , his wife the golden grove ; whose fruit is so mellow , as he feares it will fall before the time . it is in vaine to apply any receites to cure his malady ; no vnicornes horne can poss●…bly helpe this poisouous infection . suspition once grounded , and by continuance hardned , can scarcely by force of any argument bee removed . for all this , howsoever it fare with him touching his r●…ll estate , it thrives well with him in his p●…onall ; for hee ha's store o●… cornucopia . he is by this time as weary of the world , as his wife is of him . he would gladly leave it , but there is something hee so dotingly loves in it , as he cannot find in his heart to forgoe it , unlesse along with him he might carry it . he knowes how to dispose of his goods , but not of all his moveables . he doubts another must possesse , what hee enjoyed with so much care : and jeere at his follies , whilest his successour supplies his place . hee would articulate with his wife , if hee had so much hope in her constancy ; or opinion of his owne deserts , to expect from her so much loyalty ; clozing his short-liv'd words with these passionate interbreaths ; nay surely , i shall bee s●…one forgotten . her protests cannot remove from him this conceite ; it were to no purpose therfore for her to promise what hee neither will beleeve , nor shee intends to performe . his eyes now begin to shroud themselves in their lodges . he hath by this disposed of all things that are in his power , even to that vessell of frailtie , his earth-reverting body , which ( according to his mind ) is to be buried in some cell , roach , or vault , and in no open place , lest passengers ( belike ) might stu●…ble on his grave . meate for his funerall pye is shred , some few ceremoniall teares on his funerall pile are shed ; but the wormes are scarce entred his shroud , his corpse-flowers not fully dead , till this yealous earth-worme is forgot , and another more 〈◊〉 , but lesse yealous , mounted his bed . . a zealous brother is a sure stake t●… his sist●…r ; hee sets forth in an amsterdam print his faith and workes in two severall tomes , and in two different volumes ; the fi●…st in folio , the latter in decimo sexto . hee is an antip●…s to all church government ; when shee feasts hee fasts ; when shee fasts ▪ hee feasts ; good-fryday is his shrove-tuesday ; hee commends this notable carnall caveat to his family ; eate flesh upon day●…s 〈◊〉 , it is good against popery : he buyes a blank-almanack , to set downe his conventi●…le houres . breach of promise with the 〈◊〉 , hee holds an indifferent err●…r , but with his sister it is piacular . t●…ere is nothing so farre out of tun●… in his ●…are as church-musicke . he keeps a 〈◊〉 quarter in his sinnefull syn●…dalls , and denounceth an heauie woe upon all wakes , summerings , and rush-bearings : preferri●…g that act , whereby pipers were mad●… 〈◊〉 by act of parliament , before any in all the acts and monuments . his band is a diminitive , but his chol●…r a su●…erlative , if hee bee provok'●… ▪ hee is so 〈◊〉 with i●…spiration , as he holds it a disti●…sting of the spirit to use pr●…meditation . no spirit can affright him so much in any shape , as in the habit of a sirpecloath . hee ever takes the crosse on his left hand , to avoid superstition . hee ha's bountifull benefactours , from whom hee receives weekely presents ; and they know his mind : halfe sacrifices are abhominable ; this faithfull family is his monopoly ; hee ha's ingross'd them to himselfe ; hee feedes on them , while hee feedes them . his frequent preaching leaves him no time to pray in ; he can stand better than he cā 〈◊〉 . hee loves mix●… societies , and hee takes this from the arke , where there was a male and female of every kind . hee avoucheth , that learned lilie most orthodoxally proved the undoubted necessity of matrimony in the presbytery , in his declination of hic & h●…c sacerd●…s . hee holds his mother tongue to be the originall tongue ; and in that only he is constant , for he hath none to change it withall . hee wonders how babel should have such a confused variety of tongues , and hee understand but one . he never reades any author , lest hee should bee held for an apocryphall p●…stor . one would take him for an incessant student by his pale visage and enfeebled body ; but the bent of his studies intends more the practick than theorick . hee is seldome or never constant to those tenets he holds : which proving for most part scarce orthodoxall , doe usually convent him : which makes him grow in great request with the purely-ignorant . hee holds all bonds bearing date at lammasse , michaelmasse , candlemasse , or any masse whatsoever , to be frustrate and of no effect ; but by changing masse into tide , they become of full force and vertue . mattins and u●…spers hee holds two dangerous words ; hee loves not to heare of the●… . he maintaines equality in presbytery ; but if the necessity of time be such , as a superintendent bee requisite , his zealous followers hold none si●…ter to supply that place than hi●…selfe . for the decision of al doubts , difficulties , and differences hee makes a private family his revestry . whatsoever tends to the doctrine of mortification , hee holds for romish : abstinence therefore he avoucheth to be an error newly crept into the church ; but if you put this inter gatorie to him , in what time it crept , this weaklyread depone●…t knoweth not . no season through all the yeere accounts hee more subject to abhomination than bartholomew faire : their drums , hobbihorses , rattles , babies , ie●…trumps , nay pigs●…nd ●…nd all are wholly i●…daicall . the very booths are brothells of iniquity , and distinguished by the stampe of the beast . yet under favour , hee will authorize his sister to eate of that uncleane and irruminating bea●…t , a pig , provided , that this pig bee fat , and that himselfe or some other zealous bro●…her accompanie her : and all this is held for authentick and canonicall . though hee seeme all spirit , yet during his beeing in this tabernacle of clay , he holds it fitting to have a little relish of the flesh . he preferres the union of bodies before the union of minds ; and he holds no unity worse than churchconformity . hee conceives more inveterate hate towards the church of rome , than the temple of mecha : and could finde with all his heart rather to embrace the traditions of the latter , than submit to the discipline of the former . his devotion consists rather in elevation of the eye , than bending of the knee . in his extemporall se●…mons hee is a sonne of thunder , denouncing terror , but seldome hope of favour to the ●…jected si●…ner . this desperate 〈◊〉 hee continues , and holds them till night , and then leaves them children of darkenesse . hee thumps a pulpit pittifully , as if hee were angry ; but if hee be , it is with those onely that come short in their oblations . he baptizeth his children with scripture-names ; wherein onely hee shewes the depth of his reading . yet in these hee mistakes miserably , for want of e●…ymology ; taking aman for amon , diana for dina . he holds one probable tenet constantly ; that there are no walking spirits on earth ; and yet he finds a terrible one at home : which all his divinity cannot conjure . this hath made him sometimes , to have a months mind to go for virginia , to save soules : till hee right wisely considered , how the enterprise was full of perill , and that hee wanted materialls to defray the charge of his travell . of all sects of philosophers , he cannot endure to heare of the academicks ; for he never came amongst them . of all metals , hee hates latin : for hee hath heard how it was sometimes the roman tongue ; and that cannot chuse but be schismaticall . he feares no shot so much as that of the canon ; for it injoynes him to that which he most hates , conformity . hee would beyond sea , but his duck will not swimme over with him : which makes him peremptorily conclude ; shee is better fed than ta●…ght . hee was once in election to have beene a vice-verger in amsterdam , but he wanted an audible voice . howsoever , hee is holden a great rabbi amongst his brethren , whose weakenesse hee strengthens with perillous paradoxes : which when hee comes to explaine , hee as littl●… understands as his amazed hearers . he was pleased sometime to make so bold with affaires of state , church-government , with otherlike subjects farre above his verge , as a late asthma ha's taken him , and restrain'd him to a perpetuall silence . this makes his illiterate brutes to double their pensions for his maintenance ; and to idolize him the more , because taken notice of by the state. and now hee is altogether for his privat lectures ; where he vents such unauthenticke stuffe , as it proves pregnantly from what spirit it comes . hee now takes time to intend controversies , which he secretly commenceth amongst his owne familists , against the communion book and book of common prayer . anthems and versicles he holds papisticall ; sundry other ●…xceptions hee finds no lesse criminall . but these quarrels become conv●…ntuall , and he must answer them . in the end , the contemptiblenesse of his person , with the weakenesse of his fortunes , rid him out a bryers : while now , after so many alterations in matters of religion , he purposeth to have some little bartring with the world , be●…ore he goe out of it , lest his poore progeny curse him that ever he came in it . but truth is , he shewes the necessity of his 〈◊〉 in nothing so much as in w●…nt , which onely makes him out of love with the world , and gives him the true marke of a schol●…r . some he hath to provide for , if hee knew how : but hee must leave them , being abj●…cts through poverty , objects of charity ; yet ha's he no great reason to expect that his broode should partake of those good workes now after his death , which hee could never endure to heare so much as commended all his life . by this our c●…rnelius is become tacitus , since hee dropt into his bathing-tubbe , where hee left his haire , and lost his honour : since which time , he is quite falne off from his zeal●…us br●…threns favour : for the dampe of his life hath so darkened the light of his doctrine , as now for want of audience , hee may save himselfe a labour . thus reft of friends , fortune , health and libertie , hee clozeth his evening lecture with a senselesse lethargie . there is nothing now that troubles him so much in his sicknesse , as that the bells shall ring for him after his death . which to prevent , hee hath taken course with his executour to give the sexto●… nothing ; purposely to put the bel●…rey to ●…ilence ▪ some 〈◊〉 hee hath of his owne , who howle not so much that hee s●…ould leave them , as that nothing is left them . &c is the most notorious knave pickt out of all these : as . if under colour of astrology , he practise the art of necr●…ncy . . if nick ballader contract with bully purser , to get him a base booty from a ninny new●…om'd forth a countrey . . if he abuse forraine states , and gull the reader to cram his belly . . if he sharke where hee hath ●…ngag'd his heart , and prove disloyall to his fraternity . . if hee vent base ware with oaths , and improve his exchange by perjury . . if he ra●…nge without his pale , and make the country fo●…termother to his progeny . . if he professe himselfe honest , and publish himselfe cheate upon discovery . . if o●…r h●…spitall-man pretend but zeale , and prize piety as the miser hospitalitie . . if our i●…yler tyrannize over his ten●…nt ▪ and triumph in his miserie . . if the keeper neglect his soule , and prepare not for her deliverie . . if she wash her skinne , but 〈◊〉 her s●…ule , and so soile her inward beauty . . if he set too high a stamp upon his meta●… , and blanch his alleageance with colour of al●… . . if our 〈◊〉 halt betwixt two , and slight his conscience for worldly policy . . if to save his provender , he set a●… artificial edge on a strangers palfrey . . if hee furnish his poster with a foundred hackney . . if what hee collects in the ward , he convert to himselfe and his meniey . . if hee out-brave his best friends , and slave himselfe to any villany . . if he row without feare to gaine h●…m a f●…re , and hazard a passengers safety . . if hee travaile to novellize himselfe , and not to benefit his country . . if to enrich his retchlesse progeny , he care not much to begger the whole county . . if hee drinke till he rore , and roring uncivilly wrong himselfe ●…nd his company . . if hee scold till shee scare her husband , make him debauch himselfe , and abandon his family . . if hee proclaime himselfe a monster causelesly , and brand his posterity with the odious marke of bastardy . . if his hollow heart display him for a counterfeit , and his painted zeale taxe him of hypocricy . if so or so , know , that such an one is an a perse a for knavery ; whose comick beginning shall cloze his dying act with a tragick catastrophe . so good night to all the foure and twenty . finis . a cater-character , throwne out of a boxe by an experienc'd gamester . — ova prognatus ab uno . . an apparator . . a painter . . a pedler . . a piper . london , imprinted by f. k. and are to be sold by r. b. . dedicated and devoted by clitvs — alexandrinvs , to his no lesse honovred then endeared , sr. alexander radcliffe , knight of the bath . a cater-character , throwne ovt of a boxe by an experienc'd gamester . an apparator is the usher of a gho●…t in a white sh●…ete . he tels you of that , which hee himselfe seldome or never rememberstill , his end , summons . he can most pragmatically discourse of the subject of p●…nnance , but findes no time to apply the use u●…to himselfe . honesty were a maine prejudice to his practise : which makes him hold that acquaintance of most weight , whose conversation is most light . circumspect you must be in your words , howsoever you expresse your selfe in your works : for his eare lyes ever open for advantage : which hee will advance in a publike court , with a frontlesse impudence . his conscience is a delphian sword , and will cut both wayes : yet annoint him ; and you berust him , and consequently charme him for being so glad in the sheath . hee can tell you of a way how to do●… you good , and it is in his hand , so hee be capable of your gold . he ha's a plaister in store for a debauch't credit ; and can mince a pennance with his familiar acquaintance . protests he ha's , and store of them ; he will bee your friend , and your fee shall binde him . he can winke as well as see , and distinguish of your guilt by your guild . this makes him ever goe partiall-guilt , holding it an inseparable appendice to his place , to ayme at his owne particular , and by it procure the peccants peace : his ordinary dialect is the thundring out of canons to the vulgar , whose honest simplicity begets in them wonder : which thawes and resolves it selfe into admiration , to observe the fearefull depth of the man. yet so wise hee is , as one truly conscious of his owne ignorance , hee can cri●…ge low to a knowing presence , and rellish a submissive reproofe for his connivence . he carries still his ephem●…rides ab●…ut with him , which he dayly enlargeth with scandals a●…d defamations . the best report that comes to his eare , is the ill report of his neighbour : which he seemes sorry for ; mea●…e time out of his feigned sorrow , he really discovers his neighbours shame . hee usually takes more strict notice of christenings than burials , and is better vers'd in their filiations , than if he were overseer for the parish . hee might bee truth by his true search , for hee lyes lurking in ev●…ry corner . it were his breaking for the age to bee vertuous ; his vailes are the vices of the time ; which he vowes to ferres , and so turnes conycatcher . a pestilent head-peece hee ha's to blow up suburbane traders : with whom hee trucks , if they feare to bee fruitfull : for others , their sterility hath procured them free licence . hee is the very scourge of the time , and were the time better he would scourge himselfe . revenues are good mens vertues ; but his stocke h●… ▪ s no such dependance : light weights are his subsistence . an ignorant curat is his patient ; whose purpose is the subject of his phlebotomie . bleede hee must , or hee dyes . the neglect of his cure , is the object of his care ; yet cannot this poore curat doe him a greater injury , than labour reformation of this malady . hee domineers bravely in his place , as if it were his chappell of ease : meane time , he is as timerous as the ●…are , lest his clandestnie contracts breede him harme . in a word , he is the safest , that knowes him laest ; but if knowing , he is securest that knowes him best . braves cannot affront , where knowledge hath already arm'd . let him appeare then , in ●…hat portriature or posture he will , he cannot dismay where knowing resolution is forewarn'd of his strength . his reading is his practise ; nor of all others , needes hee any choake ; for want of ready pay is the generation of his subpena . it were great pitty he should want friends , hee is so obsequiously observant unto his owners : yet those that are knowne to him most , are affectionately beholden to him least . he complaines of the iniquitie of the age ; but were it better , hee were worse . he ha's a catalogue of abuses , which hee makes his morning , meridian , and evening orisons . if he can be so happy as to adde to their score , it inhanceth his state : which procures his seldom - 〈◊〉 heire an apparators 〈◊〉 , when he is gone . long time ha's hee beene an instrument of discovery touching abuses of the church : yet none i●…formes of him , whose president is the worst : hee ha's so choakt his accusers with shreads and parcels of broakt civilian latine , as they are gravell'd , and hee in the opinion of the illiterate , graced . by this , hee ha's perform'd his place with generall approbatio●… : and now hee is to bee apparator for himselfe . this hee so much the more feares , as he was the more unprovided for it before it came . it were well for him , that he might finde a proxi , to discharge his place : but his conscience summons him to a personall apparance . bequeath his goods he may , which his executors enjoy ; but the occasion of their joy , is his griefe . l●…ve l●…nger he would , but the world saies he ha'●… liv'd too long . ●…rience hath ta●…ght him so much , as the ripe●…esse of his si●…e hath raised him to that height , as hee can mount no higher . he must of necessity then leave his place to a novice to succeede him : while he , poore man , becomes apparator for himselfe . his summons are given , his shrowde , the remainder of his conniving f●…es , prepared ; his sexton stayes at the holemouth , and will not bouge a foote , till this old fox be ea●…thed . a painter is a face-maker ; and the worst in all his shop is his owne . he can never hold his hand from the table , which proves him a true englishman ; for he cannot leave it when it is well . by a speciall priviledge granted to his art , hee ●…xerciseth martiall law , and hangs and drawes within himselfe : wherein hee observes a legall and lineall method in his forme of ex●…cution : he drawes first , and hangs afterwards . sometimes hee will play the egregious flatterer , and bestow more gracefull beauty on your face , than ever nature gave you , and so gull you . he lookes on you as if hee would looke through you , when h●…e draw●…s you : yet he shewes you a kinde of barber-obeisance , being content to stand ▪ while you sit . he is a partiall artist : he will portray a man of note for nothing ; but b●…ing obscure , a cat of mount sh●…ll receive more curtesie from hi●… pencile , than a nobler creature . he is not intangled much in law ; yet he 〈◊〉 now and then to westminster , where hee practiseth upon grave 〈◊〉 , & makes faces , and this hee liv●…s by . hee will not abate you an hair●… , if he be exquisite ; having none , he will supply the want of that excrement with a curious shadow , and so procure an artfull ornament . he observes small method in the ranking or disposing of his painted creatures : a la●…y and a monkey may stand cheeke by joule one with the other . nothing so much angers him , as to have dirt thrown on his picture ; and yet the m●…terials of it are of no better temper . hee sometimes playes the witty satyrist , and displayes light tweakes in loose roabes ; bu●… draw them out with po●…kes on their h●…ads , he will not , for that would darken his art. hee ha's an a●…tificiall veile for all his d●…formities ; and can make the ugliest hagge ●…nlike her s●…lfe , purpos●…ly to make her like her s●…lfe . his judgement consists not in pul●…e but phy●…nomy . there is nothing hee undertakes , but he ha's some colour for it . he ha's pomatum and other rare confections to allay the inflamation of a cind●…rous face ; and yet a saint antoni●…s fire constantly sparkles in his owne . when hee paints a shoulder of mutton , his teeth water , wishing with all his heart , he could infuse substance into the picture . hee can zeuxeslik●… , though not like ze●…xes ▪ paint grapes , but the fowle that takes them for liv●…ly , deserves 〈◊〉 name . he can accommodate his portraiture with a true garb ; hobs●…n the carrier must have his picture , with his hand in his bag to designe his condition . he make●… the ●…ye of his feature , a light g●…dding creature ; for it reflects on every corner . he miserably abuseth the nine wor●…hies , both in their postures , p●…lfreys and 〈◊〉 : but pres●…ription pleades excuse beyond exception . the nine muses are much misused ; the ●…ree graces ungraciously handl●…d . by all which it appeares , he assumes to himselfe a po●…ticall l●…ence , alb●…it hee never attained to the freedome of that company . he holds a paint●…rs lib●…rtie to b●…e of equall authoritie to the highest profess●…nt of poetry ; but his pencile must vaile to their p●…n . ignorance , which originally hatched this conceit , being retain'd to defend his cause , replyes ▪ the painter knowes not what the 〈◊〉 meane . fantas●…s are his features , and their ●…ffigies the embrio of his braine . whence it is , that ●…ll those ancient heroes become his proteans . neither is hee onely familiar with these : for h●…e will make no lesse bold in missh●…ping the patriarchs , by reserving one beard in store for a whole tribe . hee receives upon trust some chronicle stories , both divine and humane ; which ( p●…esupposing him to bee of eminent employment ) hee makes use of in pageants , chimney-peeces and bay-windowes . but if he bee of no frequent custome , he trudgeth with a trusse of colours on his back downe to the countrey ; where most humbly complaining , hee prostrates his art and industry at the feet of a most vigil●…nt church-warden : by whose wisedome if he be entertained , that the church may be beauti●…ied , and his intolerable art discovered ; he belards the walles with monstrous false english : for which , if at any time hee receive reproofe , hee returnes this answer ; he could paint better , but th●… countrey will not bee at the charge of good english. and if you seriously aske him , where hee had those sentences , hee will with no lesse impudence than prophanenesse tell you , they are foolish conceits of his owne . now and then he is imployed at funerals , which he performes most pi●…ifully . his ●…noyl'd colours fall off like other mourners : his horse-gold displaies the integrity of the artist . if hee be so ambitious , as to fixe his lamentable elegy on the hearse , his leane lines fall so slat , and cloze in such unjoynted cadencies , as they ever redound to his shame . but in these , as they are a spheare too high for his imployment , he is r●…rely vers'd . my lord maiors day is his iubile , if any such inferiou●… artist be admitted to so serious a solemnity : if not , countrey presentments are his preferment ; or else hee bestowes his pencile on an aged peece of decayed canvas in a sooty alehouse , where m●…ther red cap must be set out in her colours . h●…e hee and his barmyhostesse draw both together , but not in like nature ; she in ale , h●…e in ●…yle . but her commoditi●… goes better downe , which he meanes to have his full share of , when his worke is done . if she aspire to the conceite of a signe , and desire to have her birch-pole pull'd downe , hee will supply her with one ; which hee performes so poorely , as none that sees it but would take it for a signe hee was drunke when he made it . a long consultation is had , before they can agree what signe must be rear'd . a meere-m●…ide , sayes shee , for that will sing catches to the youths of the parish . a lyon , sayes he , for that 's the onely signe that he can make . and this he formes so art-lesly , as it requires his expression : this is ●… lion. which old e●…lenor rumming , his tap dame , de●…ies , saying , it should have been a meere-maid . now and then hee turnes rover , and bestowes the height of his art on archers stakes . sundry whimzi●…s hee ha's in his head , but of all others there is none that puzzles him so much as this one : hee ha's a speciall handsome master-peece ( for so he termes her ) and is so jealous of her , a●… when any one inquires for his picture , hee simply mistakes himselfe , and shewes them act●…on . gl●…dly would he cure this in●…red malady with the secret receipt of an it●…lian s●…curitie , could 〈◊〉 a●… contrive it , or his state pro●…ure it . well , so it is , that hee who tooke the d●…aught of others , and liv'd by it , must now leave that trade , for death hath drawne him out to the full body . his chiefe master-artists imprese was this : no day without a line : but now the last line of his life is drawne . if hee dye well , it i●… more than hee did all his life time . his memory seldome survive●… him : being now the image of death , as hee was before a living picture . a pedler is a m●…n of ware. a wandring st●…rre ; o●…e , whose chiefest ●…ommerce is with country wen●…es . the materials of their truck●…ng are of his part , pinnes , ribbons , a●…d laces ; of theirs , cony-skins , lambe-skinnes , and feathers ; for marrow-bones , their honest si●…plicity never knew the operation o●… them . what doe yee l●…cke , is his ordinary intergatory ; yet you may lac●… many things , ere he can supply you . pepper doe ye want , ●…d he will p●…pper it for you ; he ●…ill sell you clots for clov●…s , cou●…se crumm●…s for currans , orpine for saffron , and ●…ompound your pepper with his earth-pouder , to gull you . it were a strange disease , that his fardell cannot cure ; blessed bee his genius ! hee ha's a receit to cure any one from breaking , but himselfe : and this is the least hee do●…bts , for his p●…pouder court is his onely te●…ror . he is no ●…choler , yet turning rope-maker , hee drawes stron●… lines ; which draines more from c●…rdener than philosopher . it is a prety thing to observe how hee carries his trinkilo's about him : which m●…kes the countrey choughs esteeme him a man of prize . a countrey rush-bearing , or morri●…e pastorall , is his festivall : if ever hee aspire to plum ▪ porridge , that i●… the day . here ●…he guga-g●…les gi●…gle it ●…ith his 〈◊〉 nifles : while hee sculkes u●…der a b●…h , and showes his wit never till then , in admiring their follie●… . h●… ha's an obscene vei●…e of ballatry , which m●…kes the wen●…hes of the greene laugh ; and this purchaseth him , upon better acquaintance , a posset or a sillibub . hee is ever removing his tents : and might bee complain'd of for non-residence , if his informer could gaine ought by'●… . the tinker of turvie cannot put him downe at long-staffe : which hee could finde in his heart to employ for high-way receits , if his white liver would give him leave . would you have a true survey of his family , and number them by the pole ? you shall fi●…de them subsist of three heads : himselfe , his truck , and her misset . where the last weares , commonly , the sleakest skinne . hee might bee a good ma●… by the philosophers reason : for every place is his country : and generally least trusted in his owne . his atlantick●… shoulder●… are his supporters : if they faile , his revenues fall . his judgement consists principally in the choice of his ware , and place of their vent . saint martins rings , and counterfeit bracelets are commodities of i●…finite consequence : these will passe for current at a may-pole , and purchase a favor from their may-marian . one would take him for some appendice of a souldier , by his lether , but you shall find as much valour in his hamper . there is nothing so much disheartens him as the report of a pr●…sse : this makes him stirre his stumpes : but if that will not serve , he turnes counterfeit crippl●… , and as one cut off by the stumps , he cants his maimes most me●…hodically : and this practice hee most co●…stantly retaines till the coast be cleare . sometimes he co●…sorts wi●…h his bungs : and these keepe centinell neare his booth , to take notice of a 〈◊〉 prey ; which purchase makes the sile●…t evening in some blind a●…ley , or place of knowne 〈◊〉 , the divider of their prize . he 〈◊〉 a certaine catalogue of al●… the principall faires : where , though he have little to vend , he can find some way or other to bring i●… a booty . he will not sticke to pretend , for want of better supply , an extraordinary skill in physick : and so turnes most impudent dogmaticall quacksalve●… . what transnaturalized elixers will this mercenarie mountebanke produce to delude the vulgar : all which hee findes experiments of usefull consequence , till the whipstock waine him from his practice . it were wonderfull this generall artist should not thrive , having so many irons i' ch fire . yet he findes himselfe in nothing so constant as in matter of estate being for all his endeavour neither worse nor better , but just as hee was at first , a direct beggar . now , should you a●…ke him the reason : hee will tell you , one of his calling cannot bee honest and thrive too . if hee could have faced and outfac'd truth , set a deceitfull glosse on his adulterate w●…res , or dispencd with oaths to beget cu●…tome , his pack had beene a storehouse of rich commodities before this time : but making conscience of his de●…ling , was his maine undoing . thus would hee make you credulously beleeve that he were seaz'd of what he never had , nor shuld he live longer , would ever have . well , something hee would gladly leave the young hamperman , his hopefull heire , whom he fur●…isheth , to expresse his love , for want of better fortunes , with the improved example of his life . he shewes him in a landskip the whole modell of his pedler ▪ p●…grimage , with whom he may to his much benefit securely truck ; and on whose sun ●…licity hee may most usefully worke . he tells him some mysterious secrets , which he never durst till that houre discover , lest they should have prevented him of a naturall death . now hee is to leave the world , and to his successors grie●…e , to leave nothing unto him in all the world . his fathers empty hamper is his sole patrimony . truth is he sh●…wd great improvi●…ence i●… the course of hi●… li●…e , not to leave one poore knot o●… blacke ribbo●… , to display his tr●…de , and beget a few seeming mourner●… . b●…t his comfort is , he dies cn●…ven boord . his ex●…cutor ( if any such minister bee 〈◊〉 ) may thanke god for his wan●… of credit , for it kept him out of debt . well ; now hee is to trace no more the mountaines nor vallies ; this merry mate is now turn'd grave ma●… . his funerall obits are soone solen : nized . next day at the longest , his t●…arefeigning widow cnters new commerce ; and hopes to aspire to a ioynture e●…e shee dye . his sonne , as one retentive of his fathers memento'●… , t●…aceth his pathes ; lives in as honest name and fame as his predecessor did : and that hee might resemble his father in fortune as well as same , hee dyes neither much indebted by reason of credit , nor leaves much owing him by those with whom he traded . and so for altogether have they joyntly shut up their hamper . a piper is a very droane , ever soaking and sucking from others labours . in wakes , and rush-bearings he turnes flat rorer . yet the youths without him can keep no true measure . his head , pipe , and leg hold one consort . he cannot for his hanging fit himselfe to any tune , but his active foote or great toe will keepe time . hee is never sober , but when hee is either sleeping , or piping : for his repast partakes too much of the pot , to keep him sober in his feeding . he is generally more carefull how to get a coate for his pipe than his child . and a ●…ibband hung in his chamber drawes him into an overweening humour and hono●…r of ●…o musicall a savour . hee might bee not altogether improperly charactred , an ill wind that begins to blow upon christ masse eve , and so continues very lowd and blustring all the twelve dayes : or an airy me●…eor composd of flat●…ous ma●…ter , that then appeares and vanisheth to the great peace of the whole family , the thirt●…enth day . his st●…tors voice 〈◊〉 it self to the expression of a largesse upo●… receit of the least benevolence . hee deserves not his wench , that ●…ll not p●…y for her dance . hee is ●… dangerous instrument in the common wealth ; for drawing together routs and riotous assemblies : yet so long as they dance after his pipe , there can bee intended no great perillous project of state . since h●… was enacted rogue by parliament , hee ha's got hold of a shamelesse tunelesse shalme to bee his consort , that the statute might take lesse hold of his single quality . and to grace it the more , he ha's shrowde●… himself with the inco●…porate reverence of a pye-colour'd livery . yet it is to be feared that the snake must ere long , lose his slough ; for either his vailes faile him , or he falls from his vailes . a continued practice of his prosession hath brought him to that perfection , as hee can pipe when hee cannot speake : so as , his c●…anter becomes his interpreter , and performes the thankfull office of a true servant , in speaking for his mute master , who cannot speake for himselfe . hee is oftner out of tune than his pipe ; yet never plaies better voluntari●…s than when he is drunke . in one respect , he may be compared to a downe-right satyrist : he will not stick to play upon his best friends . he infinitely preferres his art before all other mecha●…icks : yet all the meanes of his gettings is but from hand to mouth . the most dissorting comp●…ion for his humor , is the ti●…r for hee is a metall man , which the piper is not : besides , they are so unsociably affected to their liquor ; as it is death to them to drinke to one another ; yet the nooze of the law oft●…imes reconciles them , when it injoynes them to hang both together . hee is of an invincible strong breath , whereof hee leaves usually in the blast of his pipe such a vaporous and vicious steeme , as it would go neare to poyson any creature but a piper . hee suites himselfe to the seasons of the yccre , wherein if his honest neighbour partake of any be●…efit , h●…e expects his musicall share . and to winde him the more in his love , without which hee cannot live , every distinct time must bee accommodated to a severall tune . hee ha'sa straine to inchant the sheepheard in his shearing ; an other for the husbandman in his ●…eaping ; in all which hee ha'sa peculiar priviledge for gleaning . sundry corners hee reserves in his k●…apsack for these neighbourly bounties , which in short time , by prescription , become customarie to him , and all his lineall succcssor●… of the same science , after him . i●… his bonny blouze , or dai●…ty doxie , being commonly a collapsed tinkers wife , or some high way commodity , taken up upon trust , demand of him supply , after these numerous in-comes , hee bids her goe pipe . for his bed , hee leaves it the soonest , and goes to it the latest . hee is injoy●…ed by his place , to rise early , rore highly , and ●…ouze the whole family . so as , his pipe may be properly tearmed the instrumentall cause both of their rising and his owne . he is no constant dweller , and yet he is no shifter . all he reedes , he puts into his pipe : which consisting of three notes , breaks out into a most vociferous syllogisme . he will be heard at ho●…se-races ; where it makes him infinitely proud , if the horse will but vouchsafe to lay his nose to his droane . this so transports him , as it makes him think himself worthy to be recorded in those musicall aires or annals of orpheu●… and arion , who made beasts follow them . which hee doth dayly , for his doxy dogs him . being weary of the country , or shee rather weary of him , hee dives into some suburban or citty-cellar , where hee rores like the divell in a vault . heere hee deepely inhanceth his cellar-rents , if hee had grace to keepe them : but truth is , whatsoever hee draines from the four corners of the city , goes in muddy taplash downe gutter-lane , and so sinks down into p●…ier alley . so he get his morning draught , which ends about midday , at the soonest , hee stands not much upon breakefast : neither indeede will his vailes finde supply both for thirst and hu●…ger . this sauce-●…eam'd porcupi●… , when his veines b●…gin to warme , will b●…e many times monstrously mal●…pert , which purchaseth him a beating with much patience . you may breake his head as good cheape , as any mans in europe . if his prugge aspire to so much stock or so great trust , as to brew to sell ; hee will bee sure to drinke up all the gai●…es . hee will not sticke to runne on score with a score , so h●… may have credit : but when they come for their coine , hee solicits some longer time , and payes them home with a tune : t is merri●… when malt-men meete . but th●…y may pipe small e're they mee●…e with their money . by this , his holy bush is pulled downe , which proclaimes him ba●…kerupt : by which meanes , he may most politickly compound upon i●…fferent tearms with his malt-worms ▪ thus are his fortunes no perpetu●…tie : an ill winde bla●…s them : being commonly , ligh●…ly got amongst nimble heel'd fooles , and lewdly spent amongst heavie headed knaves . his vocatio●… is no peculiar station , but a roving r●…creation . there is no m●…n will more sufficiently sit downe to eat , nor more cheerefully rise up to play than himselfe . to keepe him company , and free him of th●…t , which his leaden conceit is seldome capable of , melancholy , he wisheth no other associate than a iack●…napes , or a iolly 〈◊〉 : wherein it is his highe●…t straine of studie to accommodate his ape with a guarded coate , and so foole his spectators out of their coine . he dies a sound man and merrily , for hee dyes a piper , but no good death , for hee hath played away his time . hee could finde in his heart to pipe longer , but his winde failes him , which makes him play his lastgoodnight . his wealth may appeare by his 〈◊〉 which containes the over worne remains of a motley livery , a decayed pipe-bagge , and halfe a shirt ; all wh●…ch , without his neighbours chari●…y , will scarce amount to the purchase of a sheete . finis . clitvs retire ; waste no more oyle on these , no care can cure a desperate disease : should'st write as much of ev'ry bas●… profession , europe would bee too strait for that impression . meane time , these swaine●… may on the plaines goe breath them , for thou hast left a curious piper with them . clitvs his genethlia vpon the birth-day of his sonne iohn . vagi●…ndo ●…allem intramu●… , suspirando relinquim●…s . with shreekes we live , and with a sigh we die ; thus live we , die we , griefe is ever die . god blesse thee iohn and make thee such a●… one , that i may ioy in calling thee my son. thou art my ninth , and by it i divin●… that thou shalt live to love the * muses nin●… , and live by loving them : for it were fit a younger brother had an elder wit. thou maist be gamester , or what trade thou'ls choose , for much i shall not leave my boy to loose ; and that 's fit'st for a gamest●…r : but bee sure ●… addresse thy care upon thin●… inwardcure . " be honest , and thou canst not want a friend , " neither before thine end , nor in thine end . three things three vovchers for thee undertake , the world , flesh , divel , th●…u must quite for sake ; and so i hope thou wilt : to th' world i show thee , but thy poor fortune 's such , she will not know thee . and for the flesh , ev'n nature must permit that it be given t●… thee , e're thou to it . now for the divel , he ha's so much to doe with roring boyes , hee 'l sl●…ght such babes as tho●… : yet be not too s●…cure , but put him to'●… , for hee 'le play at small game , e're hee sit out . th' e●…crease of thy revenues is but small , looke ●…o thy braines , poore iohn , for that is all . a better legacie i have not for ●…ee , vnlesse thou dye , and i sing di●…ges o're thee : by which i should collect , thou wer 't bu●… lent me , as thou wast neare that time by nature sent mee : b●…ing onely sh●…wne on earth , but to abst●…e from ●…inne on earth , and turne to earth again●… ▪ and so shouldst ●…hou rise high , by vading hence with a sweete smile , in state of innocence . this is my cloze ; " short be thou or long liver , " live well , my boy , " that thou maist live for ever . finis . an alphabeticall table of the characters . an almanack-maker . a ballad-monger . a corranto-coiner . a decoy . an exchange-man . a forrester . a gamester . an hospitall-man . a iayler . a keeper . a launderer . a metall-man . a neuter . an ostler . a post-master . a quest-man . a ruffian . a sailer . a traveller . an vnder-sheriffe . a wine-soaker . a xantippean . a yealous neighbour . a zealous brother . &c. or the egregious'st pimpe of a●… this debauch't order , with a briefe but free cens●…re , of their nature , nurture , and number : closing with the supply of a curiouscountrey-cater-character , to supple the rig●…r of the roughest censor . vpon the errata's . as there ●…ee characters ●…f errors , be●…rrors ●…rrors incident to characters . these , be they literall or materiall , it is in th●…e , reader , to make them veniall . in epist. to reader , lin . . for fo●…r , reade firmer . p. . l. . f. shoope , r. shoppe . p. . l. ●… . f. imitation , r. ●…itiation . p. . l ●… . f. & ▪ r. at . p. . l ▪ . f. as , r. an . p. ▪ l. . f. fail'd , r. ●…aile . p. . l. ▪ f. ●…unne , r. summe . pag. . lin . . for surely , read surly . p. . lin . ▪ for feares no worse , r. fares no ●…se . p. . l. . f. the , r. yet . p. . l for feele , r feed . p. . l ▪ . f. alterations , ●… ▪ altercations . p. ●… . l . f. hee , r. s●…ee . second part. pag. lin . . f. clandestnie , r. cl●…ndestine . in the genethlia , l ▪ . f. die , r. ni●… . notes, typically marginal, from the original text notes for div a -e a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 procul●…●…strts timonia ficus ab h●… , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ramis sacta se●…cta 〈◊〉 . . almanack-maker . . ballad-monger . . corranto-coiner . . decoy . . exchange-man . . forrester . . gamester . . hospitall-man . iayler . . keeper . launderer . . metal-man . . neuter . . ostler . . post-master . . quest-man . . ruffian . . sailer . . traveller . . vndersheriffe . . wine-soaker . . xantippean . . yealous neighbour . . zealous brother . notes for div a -e 〈◊〉 dr●… ▪ ming dro ●…ne pl●… the grand i●…postor ; hi●… m●…rry chante●…●… meer●… inc ban●…r ▪ ca●…sing peopl●… to 〈◊〉 in a r●…ng , as if he bad r●…sd the div●… 〈◊〉 a circl●… . notes for div a -e na●… est xix . feb a●… d●… . . * musa 〈◊〉 , natura nov●…m pul●… pr●…lem exhib●…it , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . notes for div a -e ●…lias 〈◊〉 , ilium ●…orum . the times anatomiz'd, in severall characters. by t.f. ford, thomas, - . this text is an enriched version of the tcp digital transcription a of text r in the english short title catalog (thomason e _ ). textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. the text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with morphadorner. the annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. this text has not been fully proofread approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. earlyprint project evanston,il, notre dame, in, st. louis, mo a wing f thomason e _ estc r this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (thomason tracts ; :e [ ]) the times anatomiz'd, in severall characters. by t.f. ford, thomas, - . [ ] p. printed for w.l., london : anno, m dc xlvii. [ ] t. f. = thomas ford. signatures: a-e¹² (-a¹). reproduction of the original in the british library. eng characters and characteristics -- early works to . a r (thomason e _ ). civilwar no the times anatomiz'd, in severall characters. by t.f.: ford, thomas c the rate of defects per , words puts this text in the c category of texts with between and defects per , words. - tcp assigned for keying and markup - aptara keyed and coded from proquest page images - robyn anspach sampled and proofread - robyn anspach text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion the times anatomiz'd , in severall characters . by t. f. difficile est satyram non scribere . juv. sat. . london , printed for w. l. anno , mdcxlvii . the contents of the severall characters . a good king . rebellion . an honest subject . an hypocriticall convert of the times . a souldier of fortune . a discontented person . an ambitious man . the vulgar . errour . truth . a selfe-seeker . pamphlets . an envious man . true valour . time . a newter . a turn-coat . a moderate man . a corrupt committee-man . a sectary . warre . peace . a drunkard . a novice-preacher . a scandalous preacher . a grave divine . a selfe-conceited man . an inconstant man . religion . death . courteous reader , antonio diel ( a spaniard ) brings in some laughing at an old man , that by reason of his age was a litle fond ; but as hee admonisheth there , ne mireris , mî hospes de hoc sene , nam tota haec civitas dilirium est . certainly to play the foole in this age , when the whole world 's distracted , is not only tolerable , but necessary . david once in wisdome play'd the fool , to deliver himself : and why may not i once play the fool , to deliver my conscience , in a free reproof ? which if ever was , is now necessary , when vice was never more perpotrated nor lesse punished , and so disguis'd and fenc'd is some , that we may say of them as alexander of the scythians , difficilius est invenire , quam vincere : more difficult it is to finde them out then to confute them . it hath been my endeavour to un-mask some , whereby to render them odious , and however you shall finde a heape of chaffe for an handfull of wheat , yet feare i not to professe with that witty epigramatist , invenies paucos hic ut in orbebonos . although vice be almost grown a generall rule ; yet are there some exceptions from it : some who feare not to patronize truth and virtue , though vagabonds . yet am i not ignorant that hereby i have exposed my selfe to the censures of every detracting momus , and carping zoilus , so true is that italian proverb . chi fà un casa in piazza , ô è troppo alta , ô troppo bassà . who builds i' th' way where all go by , shall make his house too low , or high . he that exposeth himselfe to publique view , betrayes himselfe to every ones censure . if apelles will set out his pictures , he shall heare the shoo-maker finde fault with what he understands not . much more may i , who have entered into the lists with so many prevailing enemies , yet have i not aymed at any mans person , but only at the vice : if any one shall apply to himself in particular what i speake in generall , hee will thereby argue himselfe guilty : 't is the gall'd horse that kicks , sayes the proverb . it is our misery that we are miserable , but greater that we are not sensible . gravissimè aegrotat qui se non sen tit aegrotare : is therefore we would return into the right way , we must first know our selves to bee in the wrong : primus sapientiae gradus est falsa intelligere , sayth lactantius : the first step to health is to know our selves to be sick . the whole kingdome hath laboured these five years full , with an uncivill civill warre , one member destroying another , whilst the whole body is indangered . me thinks , i heare , our deare mother england calling to her contending children , like that affectionate mother in the tragoedy , weeping over the malice of her two sons , in these words , or sighs rather , ille te , tu illum times , ego utrumque sed pro utroque : thy brother feares thee , and thou him , i both , but but for the danger of you both . if when scipio had set carthage on fire and saw that the flames thereof soared up to the clouds , although he were an enemy yet tears trickled down his cheeks to behold their ruine , as is testified by an eye-witnesse , and can any one who is a member of the kingdom not be sensible of , and sorrowfull for the distractions thereof ? to see religion of late become a monster with many faces , to see that dove bespeckled with sects and schismes ! si fundamentum tollitur , quid nisi ruina expectatur ? if religion that is the foundation of a kingdom be taken away , what can be expected , but ruine of the whole building ? to see all government contemn'd , and a lawlesse liberty justling out all law , labouring to be introduc'd . but i would say to them as lycurgus did , who being about to reforme and alter the state of sparta , in that consultation , one advised that it should be reduced to an absolute popular equality , lycurgus said unto him , sir , begin it in your own house first . considering these things , and other miseries wayring upon a civill warre . quis temperet à lacrimis ! the embassadours of asia minor comming to antonius , after hee had imposed upon them a double tax , told him plainly , that if hee would have two tributes in one yeare , he must give them two seed-times , and two harvests : but alas ! never was taxes greater , and takings lesse then now , many tributes to be paid , but in many places , neither seed-time nor harvest , and yet as domitian the emperour ( a few dayes before he was killed ) rubbing a wart upon his face , bloud chanced to gush out : he said , utinam ad huc , i w●sh this may be all : so say i , god grant we have not the dregs of that cup yet to drinke off , of which we have hitherto but tasted : for it is observed , three things undid the roman empire ; young heads , private grudges , and private gains . first , young heads , i say of them , being state physitians , but as the proverb is , a young physitian , and a new church-yard , and for private grudges , where is the man that will doe as it is reported of g. naz. who when the church at constantinople began to be divided , as he supposed , by occasion that he possest the see , hee openly sayd , si propter me ista tempestas : if i be the jonas that cause this storme in the state , why , sacrifice me to the fury of the angred diety ? where is now the man that would lay downe his private grudges , rather then engage the kingdom in a publike quarrell ? and for private ends how many be there that long for fighting , because they live by it ? julius caesar was wont to say of men brought excessive low by ryot , or had committed divers crimes , that there was no other remedy for them but civill war . but i 'le conclude with this story . some few moneths before domitian was murthered , there was a crow in the capitoll spake these words plainly , {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} . all shall be well . and one interpreted this prodigie thus , nuper tarptio quae sedit culmine cornix est bene non potuit dicete , dixit erit . the crow that sate on tarpie news to tell , she could not say all is , but sayd , all shall be well . that this fable ( if it be so ) may be turned into truth , and the prophesie into history , in our kingdom , is , and shall be the continuall prayer of thine , t. f. the times anatomiz'd . i. a good king . is the primum mobile of a kingdome , the largenesse of whose orbe moves all the rest in their severall places : the sun , that not onely enlightens the severall planets and lesser stars in a state , but also the whole kingdom depends upon the influence of his good or bad aspect . all the inferiour magistrates and ministers of justice , receive their virtue and power from him , as the moon and stars their light from the sun . a kingdom without a king , is but like a body without a head , like a heaven without a sun , and no wonder if all mischiefes be perpetrated , when the light of israel is put out . needs must the kingdom float in a sea of miseries , that hath lost its pilot , and a miracle is it if it split not on the rock of ruine : he is the vigilant argus , that sees all parts of the kingdome : to oversee the under-seers . the hundred-handed briarius to revenge , and right-wronged innocence . he is a mortall god , on whom the almighty hath stampt his image in a more especiall manner , with power and terrour . the very presence of a king strikes awe into men . how have some traitors been dazled with the splendent rays of majesty , that it hath melted and mollified their iron , stony and obdurate hearts into an humble and meek reluctancy ? the happy reigne of a good king makes the whole kingdome to prosper and flourish , withwealth , peace and plenty . for like the sun , though hée move but in one place at once actually , yet is he virtually present in all and every part of his dominions ; dispensing his sacred influence , as well upon the lowest as the highest . justice hath committed her sword and ballance into his hands . wisdome and power support his throne , and piety is his continuall hand-maid . ii. rebellion . is a poysonous weed growing up in a cōmon-wealth , by the fatnesse of the soyle . it may flourish for a while , but the sword of justice doth in the end cut it down , being whetted by time and divine revenge . it is a true viper , for as the shee-viper biteth off the head of the hee , and thereby conceives with young , & those young prove her own destruction , making their birth her death ; and thus doth rebellion when it hath bitten off the head of government , it proves its own destruction , and will be the end of the beginners thereof ; and not seldom , it is m●de its owne scourge . for though majesty may be eclipsed for a season , yet will it at length breake out againe into its force like the sun in his greatest brightnesse , and dispell those misty fogs and vapours that before had clouded it . whilest the two petty combatants ( in the fable ) strove which should overcome the other , they were both made a prey unto the royall eagle : ambition and discontent are the two main wheels this engine moves on , and because it is so ugly in it selfe , that all men would detest it , it seldome appears but with a borrowed face for the good of the common-wealth , and if it get hold on religion , it flies ( too truly ) like wilde-fire . iii. an honest subject . is one that fears god , honours his king , and meddles not with those that are given to change ; and without question hee that is a good christian will be a good subject . he hath learned so much loyalty from dumb creatures ( taught by natures instinct ) to shelter their wronged head with their whole body , as knowing that their life lies in their head . he hath heard that subjects often are adjectives that cannot stand without , and therefore should not stand against their sovereign : he loves peace : knowing that the sowers of discord will reap destruction , however , in the midst of warre he labours to keepe peace in his own conscience , being content with his own estate , and seeking not to increase it by unlawfull diminishing of others , for hee cannot thinke him an honest man that in publike losses goes away a gainer . hee is so far from exceeding , that he can be content to be lesse then himselfe , accounting it more noble to be like the fruitfull bough , which stoops under a pretious burthen ; then to aime at the eminencie of the fruitlesse height of the pine tree . if his merits have brought him into the way of honour and preferment , they doe not there leave him ; but he herein holds that maxime good , to keepe them by the same means he obteined them : and if he see undeserving men preferred before him , he rather pitties then envies them , as counting it more noble to have deserved preferment then to have it . when the the thrid of his naturall life is run to the appointed end , he leaves this world to enjoy a better , yet leaving behinde him the pretious balme of a good name , which shall preserve his memory more surely to future posterity , then the time-decaying monuments of brasse and marble , which in processe of time do molder away , and their glory obscured in fewer years then some of those sumptuons statues have been erecting . iv. an hypocriticall convert of the times . is a rotten sepulchre , newly painted over with a colour of sanctity . and now none so zealous as he , then whom before there was none so profane , but having drawne a faire glove of profession over his foul hand . hee now weares the livery of the times ; and all his policy is , if he can carry it undiscovered : he is an essence needing a double definition , for he is not what he appears , but like some of the spheres , that besides their generall motion with the others , have a particular one to themselves . like a water-man that looks one way but rows another . but for all his out , he cānot change his inside , so that he differs nothing from an hypocrite , without he is a severe cato , but within a cruell nero , like those dragons in armenia that spit fire , yet have cold bodies : he is a sheep-skin lin'd with fox-fur ; formall precisenesse keeps the doore , whilst profit and profanenesse lodge within , he hangs out religion for a signe , but i take it for a signe he hath no religion , like the planet mercury convertibly , good or bad according to his company : with the religigious , hee is no lesse then a saint , and with the prophane none more loose , but no foe to a false friend : the devill is never so true a devill , as when he is transformed into an angel of light . v. a souldier of fortune . hee is a salamander that lives in the fire of warr . and is commonly a younger brother , for though the elder beare the coat , the younger beares the armes . peace is his greatest enemy , for then he lies ( like a fish out of water ) out of his element . honour and pay are the two main engines that set him on going , hunger and cold march in the same file with him , and plunder brings up the reare . he should be a scholer , for he is alwayes is controversies , bullets are his arguments , and his sword a necessary conclusion . he questiōs not who hath the best cause , but the best treasury . his onely fishing is in troubled waters . his life is action , his food bloud and booty , his honour valour , and his end conquest . he is peaces envie , and wars darling : a horse-fly ingendred of the corruption of a kingdome , when too much plenty hath set men on quarrelling , and then he 's a necessary evill to help let out the superfluous humours , which hee effects by letting them bloud , till the losse of their bloud prove the losse of their lives . but the citizens of athens banished a coffin maker out of the city , because the cause of his mirth , was others sadnesse , and much resembleth a lawyer , whose wealth is increased by others poverty . vi . a discontented person . is a dis-joynted member of the kingdome , one that is falne out with the world , and will not be reconcil'd againe with it , hardly with himselfe . he is always weary of the present times , not because it is bad ; but because it is present . he extols & commends times past , and despairs of ever seeing the like , but is always desiring of changes , like sick folks ; thinking unquietnesse would procure rest . hee continually carries a cloud of discontent in his countenance , whereby you may judge of the storms in his brest . he makes all crosses seem the heavier by his conceiting them greater then they are ; being once thus out of tune himself , all his study is to create discords . hee is an apt subject for rebellion to work on , as hoping thereby to ease his own by increasing others miseries . all his speech is invectives against fortune : and like a froward child , because hee cannot be happy according to to his own will , he will be miserable in spight . vii . an ambitious man . is a merchant of honour , sayling in the venture , and ayming at the cape of preferment , his sayls are fill'd with the wind of hope : but he sometimes meets with a tempest , that casts him away . like a traivailer climing up the alps of honour , on a sudden comes a puff of crosse-wind , that tumbles him into an abysse of misery : but his ambition is to get unto the top , not minding the bottom : desire to rise , hath taken away al fear of falling . he cares not though he creep low , so hee may thereby rise any whit the higher , and still the more he gets , the more he desires to get : for the greater draught of honour , causeth the greater drought . hee is a meer bladder puft up with the wind of hope . many times hee rises high , and then like a rocket in the ayre , breaks , and falls down to the wōderment of all the beholders . envy and pride are his two wings , hee still flutters with , to get above others . and when he is got up , he usually throws down those whom before hee made ( as staires ) the meanes of his rising . he is of a restlesse nature , and counts every stay a losing of time . hee can sayle with any winde , nay , with a cross winde , rather then stand still . hee is a great incendiary , and stirrer of wars , whilst one like pompey , can endure no equall ; another like caesar admit of no superiour . he wishes all things turn'd topsie-turvy , knowing that then , the first will be last , and the last first . viii . the vulgar . is an untamed monster with many heads ; but like roaring cyclops with one eye : attempting things with great clamour , but little judgment : not able to judge of things as they are indeed , but only by outward appearances . and therefore as the sea is mov'd with every puffe of winde , so are they with every breath of their orators . they regard not what is said , but who says it . for let the matter be never so good , if they like not the authour , 't is worth nothing ; on the contrary , let one of theirs vent non-sence , 't is presently cry'd up for gospel , but their love or hatred is ( like a childes ) wonne and lost in an hour . for whom they now extoll to the skies , by and by they 'l cry down , as fast as before they cry'd him up : and if they take head against a man , they run violently like a torrent to overwhelm him , without law , reason , or judgment : making greater clamour , then the frogs in homer , that would not suffer the goddesse pallas to sleep , for their continual croaking . they are ( as wee say of fire and water ) good servants , but , very bad masters . ix . errour . is the ape of truth . a labyrinth wherein mens judgements wander like men led by an ignis fatuus , to their own ruine . it is an enticing syren , that with its deceitfull layes draws men into an ocean of destruction . the cunning mercury , which luls the senses asleep , that so it may captivate the reason and judgement . a darke cloud over-casting with its fogs and mysts , the bright sun of truth , and herein it gains infinite advantages over truth , in that truth is but one , but errour infinite , and every one going masked in the mantle of truth , for did men see errour in its proper colours , they would never entertain it : but every one that maintains any errour ; does it not because it is an errour , but because he conceives it to be the onely truth . again , errour is more pleasing unto men then truth , and therefore errour findes entertainment where truth is shut out of doors . it was the delemma of the philosopher , if i speake to please the people , i shall not tell the truth , and if i tell the truth , i shall not please them , but procure enmity : and therefore it is just , that those that will not have truth for their king , should have errour for their tyrant , to whom their judgements should be captivated and enslaved . x. truth . is the food of the soule . the daughter of time , yet was the daughter before the mother . simple without any mixture ; not needing any artificiall painting , or decking with flowers of rhethorick , but appearing most beautifull when naked and in its proper colours . it is the touch-stone and square whereby to try all opinions and doctrines , the onely anchor whereon all things depend , and the chart whereby we sayle unto eternity . it is a strong castle , which if we defend , will defend us ; for though it may be besieged , it can never be conquered ; but like a pretious minerall , it lyes not on the face of the earth , but inveloped in a multiplicity of errours . it is fitly resembled by the sun ; for first , as there is but one sun , so but one truth , & as the sun enlightens the eyes of the body , so truth the eyes of the soule , and though it may be ecclipsed , it cannot be extinguished ; and so glorious is this heavenly light , that our weake sight is daz'led with the splendour thereof : so that though man be strong enough to desire , but too weake to receive truth , or at least , not to hold it when received . a witty fryer told the people , that truth was like holy water , which all men call for , yet when it came to be cast on them , they would turne aside their faces : they that cry fastest for truth , when it comes to them , runs fastest from it . xi . a self-seeker . is a cunning archer , that looking to the publique service as the marke he onely aymes at , yet squints aside at his own ends , which is the true butt , all the arrows of his endeavours are shot at . no man pretends more for the publique good then he , and yet no man can intend it lesse , and well may he in shew advance that which indeed advanceth him . this is a dangerous crime in men of publique trust , for such leaks make the vessels of the common-wealth to sinke . like that notorious pick-pocket , that whilst ( according to the custome ) every one held up their hands at rehersing the creed , he by a divice had a false hand which hee held up like the rest , whilst his true hand was false in other mens pockets : or as a cunning physitian , that instead of lightning the disease , lightens the purse of his patient , protracting the cure , to prolong his gains . a deceitfull souldier , who under colour of the publique , fights onely for his private cause . xii . pamphlets . are the weekly almanacks , shewing what weather is in the state , which like the doves of aleppo , carry news to every part of the kingdom . they are the silent traytors that affront majesty , and abuse all authority , under the colour of an imprimatur . ubiquitary flyes that have of late so blistred the eares of all men , that they cannot endure any solid truth . the ecchoes whereby , what is done in part of the kingdome , is heard all over . they are like mushromes sprung up in a night , and dead in a day , and such is the greedinesse of mens natures ( in these athenian dayes ) of news , that they will rather feigne then want it . xiii . an envious man . is one that can endure no man to be happy , with , or besides himselfe ; nay , he had rather see himselfe in misery , then his neighbour in prosperity . he had rather goe to hell alone , then to heaven with company , yet is he the greatest foe to himselfe , for whilst he wishes harme to others , it rebounds to himselfe and good men like cammomile , grow the better , for envies treading , it is but as a black ground to set off the luster of their merits : & not seldome whilst envy seeks to wound , it cures , bringing an antidote instead of a poyson . like the mirrour of glasse that reverberated the poyson of the serpent upon her selfe killing her with her own weapon . goodnesse appears with greater lustre through the black cloud of envy . the envious man feasts like flies on others soares , anothers comedy in his tragoedy . he is never merry but at others sadnesse , and their cryes makes the only harmony in his eares . xiv . true valour . is a virtue in the spirit , which keepes the flesh in subjection , for whilst it overthrows its enemies it conquers it selfe , which is the best victory . it resolves without fear , and acts without fainting , not daunted with multitudes of oppositiōs , knowing that the greater the cōflict is , the greater wil be the honor of the conqueror . it is a sweet temper of the soul , not cast down in captivity , nor elated in victory , wisdome is her guide , and resolution her companion . a good cause makes her truly noble , and pittie it is it should have any enemy but errour . xv . time . time is the universall standard , whereby we measure houres , dayes , weeks , moneths , years and ages . a rivulet of time , which proceeded from , and shall end in the ocean of eternity , compared by that great statesman and philosopher of our kingdom , to the nature of a river , which carryeth down to us that which is light and blown up , and sinketh and drowneth that which is solid and weighty . it is the devourer of all things , the great monarch that casteth down some , and raiseth others , with a kinde of omnipotencie and unresistable power , for there is not any thing in the power of man can scotch the ever-circling wheele of time . 't is neither force nor flattery can stop his full career . it is he that opens the windows of heaven to let in day and drawes the curtaines of the night , to secure the sleepe of wearied labor . and so swift is his flight that we cannot discover it , till past . he is alwayes the same , and yet not the same since i said so . the onely subject of honest and lawfull avarice . but whilst i speake of time i lose it , considering that though hee is known to be , yet is his being unknown , for his name is better known then his nature . ( ⸪ ) xvi . a newter . is a very blank , wherein you may write any thing that will make for his profit . hee is a meer bat all the time of war , resolving to lye hid till time and fortune have decided the quarrell ; and then hee 'l be sure to have a bird for the conquerour . fortune is his god , machiavel his priest , time-serving his religion , and his only counsellours are corrantoes : for by those hee guesses which way the winde of fortune blows , and accordingly ( with the hedghog ) hee turns his den . hee is only a spectator of this bloudy tragoedy , and will be sure to reserve his plaudite till the last act. what he shall be he knows not , nor what hee is , yet i hold him an independent ; for whilst hee sides with all , hee 'l be sure to none . like a pair of compasses , the one end of his owne ends stands fast ; while with the other of his speeches he walks the round of every prevailing faction . he is a meer polypus , always of the same colour of the side he meets with , for hee varies his shapes as often as his company ; like an adjective , that varies case and gender with his substantive . hee uses moderation as a fair masque over his foul-face of newtrality : but when hee comes to be unmasqued , hee becomes then as ridiculous to all , as before he was odious . his discourse is the very almanack of the times , for his judgment is as variable as victory . hee is of a very unfit temper to make a zelot of , being neither hot , nor cold , but lukewarme , which is detestable to both . wee may well term him a waveringman , for ( like the waves ) he is moved with the winde of successe . hee would make a very good musician , for hee studies nothing so much as to keepe time : keeping close to the wheel of fortune , which is somtimes broken on by short turnings . striving so long , to bend to all , till hee break himself . and so playing the ambo-dexter , that hee becomes at length ambo-sinister . but i cease to know further what he is , who knows not what hee is in himself . xvii . a turn-coat . is one that will be sure to be of the strongest side , and all his policy is , when the contrary party prevails to tack about , and with a side-winde , to saile with them . for hee is always of the religion of the conquerour ; if the more zealous party get up , then none more zealous then he ; if the lesse severe , then none lesse religious . setting his carriage to the tune of the times , though never so base . the truth is , he absolute soft wax , in which the last impression always puts out the former . he is one that sails with any winde ; that will run with the hare , and hold with the hound . a meer weather-cock , for by him you may easily know which way the winde of successe bloweth : for the times and him are tearms convertible . he will be sure to stand to his friend , no longer then he is able to stand , for like vermin , his flight is a certain token of a falling house hee never declares his judgment but in dubious tearms , leaving himself a liberty to expound them as times shall serve . xviii . a moderate man . is the temperate zone of the times , quallifying the cold of detestible neutrality , and the fiery heat of over-zealous rashnesse . moderation is the ballast of his soul , which keeps him upright . he had rather for a time hide truth in the cave of his heart , then by his weaknesse , or the times wickedness betray both it and himself to the contempt of their adversaries ; as knowing that though truth may be over-laid and buried , yet it will have a resurrection . if he live in such a time ( as ours ) wherein two opposite parties pretend the truth , when but one can have it , hee resolves with himself , not so far to resolve with either , that his credit , but especially t●uths , might receive auy detriment thereby . if truth be manifestly ingag'd against errour , hee then though moderately , yet stoutly holds himself bound to defend it . hee is neither of an hot fiery , nor of a key-cold temper , but of a moderate , between those two extreams , which is the healthfullest , & wil be the longest liv'd . but as neutrality gains much by having moderation for its vizard ; so moderation suffers more by having neutrality for its neighbour , yet may they be easily discerned , for neutrality hath only its own ends for its ayme , but moderation looks only at the truth . again , the neuter is a wandring planet , never setled , but the moderate man is a fixed star . xix . a corrupt committee-man . he is one of the wens of the body politique , that draws the wealth of the common-wealth from its proper use ; to the nourishment of his own base humours . like the horse-leech or the grave , he is never satisfied , but continually trying , give , give ; he is one that under the authority of the state , impoverisheth it . a licens'd cheater , authoriz'd by authority , which gives him a freedome to examine and measure every one but himselfe . like lyca●n , hee devoures men , and turns his office into an office of escheat , making himselfe heire to every mans estate , under colour of the states service . he deals with all that come before him , as the gyant did with his guests , he fits them all to his size , for those that are overgrown in wealth he cuts shorter , and those that plead poverty he stretches longer . for the liberty of the subject hee brings all men into slavery . this upstart ivie will in time eat out the heart of the oake that supports him . hee is a very good chimist , for hee turns all things into gold , the maine engine of the warre , and the pipe that conveys and commands all the treasure of the kingdome , but there 's a crack of selfe ends that hinders it from going to the right end of the kingdoms good . his very name is as terrible to the poore countrey man , as the inquisition , speaking nothing lesse then commitment , for the prison is his rack , and an oath the tormentor ; whereby he makes men prove traitors to themselves worse then ever , by the oath ex officio . his will must be the standard whereto every one must be reduced . the under committees he uses as a spunge , or as the turks doe the jews , which when they have gathered sufficiently , he squeezes , and so the greater thieves rob the lesse , and both the commonwealth . for his religion , if hee have any , it is altogether for liberty of conscience , but whilest hee keeps loose his own , he bindes all other mens . nothing terrifies him so much , as to think of an accompt , 't is therefore his policy to be an evil angel to stir & mud the waters , like the fish sepia , that he may go away un-discerned , like a thief in a crowd . peace is as often in his mouth , as seldome in his heart , for like a corrupt chyrurgion , he lives upon keeping the soare raw : as certaine the poore kingdom must needs be a patient that suffers under such chyrurgions . but how this foundation will stand , that is raised on other mens ruines , and built on others breakings , when the winde of majesty , and the reign of justice shall again descend , who knows ? till then i leave him , if in the meane time his guilty conscience doe not condemn him , and he himselfe save the hangman a labour , by preventing him . xx . a sectary . hee is one that having left the roade of the churches practice , wanders in the labyrinth of sects and schismes , and being of a quick-silver brain , can never be fixed in any till hee become an absolute atheist , for they that once are of all religions , will quickly be of none at all . he cannot endure any government as tying him in an inclosure : for he will not be fed by the wholsome food of his proper minister , but will carve for himselfe , not discerning weeds from herbs , poyson from wholsome meat . for learning hee utterly detests it , and no wonder if they that seek darke corners , hate the light of the sun that would discover them , yet the sun is never the worse nor lesse usefull , because blear eyes cannot endure its light . he is so strict to observe the very words of the scripture ( though he can read never a word of it ) that because the apostles were some of them fisher-men , and paul preached in an upper roome , he thinks him no preacher that is not a mechanick , nor that no church which is not in a chamber . he rails continually against pluralities , and affects nothing so much as to be singular . if he be the ring-leader of a sect , his only care is to worke upon the weaker sex , to deceive simple women , whom , if they follow him , hee supposes their husbands wil come after them . and thus the serpent , the father of heretikes first tempted eve , and then leaving her to tempt her husband . and these all weare christs colours , but fight under the devils banner , which daily multiply by our divisions , these abstractions from the church increase by the distractions in the church , and it will be as easie to knit a rope of sand , as to unite them againe thus dissipated . xxi . of war . war is a tragoedy , that most commonly destroyes the scene whereon 't is acted . an unwelcome guest that devoures his host . the cursed off-spring of two blessed parents , peace and plenty , both which it destroyes and devoures , as pharoes leane kine did the fat ones . peace chains up al furies & mischiefs , which the sword of warre lets loose . war is a wolfe whose pestilēt breath stops the mouth of the laws , whose voyce cannot be heard for the cryes of oppressed people , the effect , and the roaring of cannons , and clashing of armes , the sadder causes . wars griping hand squeezeth and scattereth what good husbandry had raked together in time of peace . time of war is the true iron age , for it converts all into iron , which iron will be master of all mens gold . warre never comes but attended with a train of devouring followers : destruction and that usually goe hand in hand . this generall warre hath so universall a command , that no particular man can have any command of his now . but of all wars , none so uncivill as civill war , other wars kill foes , but this friends , in this , one member rises up against another . if a kingdom divided from others cannot stand , a kingdom divided against it self must needs fall . but the uglinesse of war will appeare better , or rather worse , by viewing the beauty of peace . xxii . of peace . peace is the ligament or seament , that knits and unites the severall members of one kingdom into one body . shee is the mother of plenty and prosperity . the nurse and cherisher of arts and sciences , and what 's worth all , the best means for propagating the gospel , for the spirituall fishers never caught the more for fishing in troubled waters , for such fish ( as mariners say of the litterall fish ) if they see bloud on the net , they will not be caught by any bayes . no this gospel is the gospel of peace , and of the god of peace , and his children the lovers of peace . peace makes those calme dayes wherein the halcyon of honour seats her nest . it is the onely cordiall to revive a fainting kingdom , languishing of the deadly wounds of the keen sword of inraged warre . this one word peace ( as one well observes ) is but a monosylable , yet is it big with a world of happinesse . yet many athenians there be who never went to conclude a peace but in mourning garments . but i feare to speake farther of it , lest i meet with the florentine law , which made it death for any one to name peace . i suppose the miseries of this cruell warre may bee as so many mouthes to cry and call for peace , and therefore i will hold my peace . xxiii . a drunkard . is a meere beast in the shape of a man . a living pipe or conduite , through which the liquour passeth . a great assertor of copernicus his opinion , for he holds that all things go ronnd . he might make a resolute souldier , but that he staggers so often . drukennesse is used in high germany for the index , or touch-stone of a mans nature , for the parents will see men drunk before they marry their daughters unto them , because they will know what kinde of drunkennesse they are subject to ; and according to the good or ill ( if a drunkard can have good ) qualities they judge him convenient or not for their marriages : and indeed there is no passion that a drunkard is subject to , but wine will make him turn traytor to himselfe and discover . it is not for nothing that the word in the originall signifies naked , drunkennesse breakes the veile of secrecie , and renders a man naked to his very enemies , when he is like gryllus ( in plutarch ) who was so transformed by one of circes charmes , that he could not by all ulisses eloquence be induced to depose his hoggish nature , and resume the person of a man . he is not then his own master or his own man , whose senses are fettered with drunkennesse , and yet how he boasts in making himselfe a hogshead , striving to take off his liquour till he be taken of it , and become its captive , and instead of quenching his thirst drownes his soule . and being thus bereaved of his senses , he jumps not an inch from a mad-man . for as there are severall sorts of mad-men , so are there also of drunkards , and every one in his severall humour : some are mad , some merry , some raging drunkards . how many brute beasts will rise up in judgement against the drunkards , who make the sufficing of nature their standard in eating and drinking , which they will not exceed no more then the drunkard exceeds them in his drink ? for there are but two things whereby a man is differenc'd from a beast , ratio & oratio , reason and speech , and the drunkard wants them both . he wants reason like him that stuft a porrage pot with straw to make it the easier pillow . he wants speech also , for as the ephramites were distinguished from the rest of the israelites , by lisping , they could not pronounce the letter ● . thus drunkards ( sayth one wittily ) are distinguished from the kings sober subjects by clipping the coyne of the tongue . but lamentable it is when hee dares to quote scripture examples for proofe of his actions , looking only at the evill of sin , but not at the evill of punishmeut that follows those sins ; let him shew me the example of a saint that sinn'd , and had not also his affliction for it . as the comoedian , who when one objected to him his bringing a deboist fellow upon the stage , thereby giving an evill example to youth : he answerd , 't is true , i brought such an one upon the stage , but i hang'd him before he went off , and so i gave them a good example . ⸪ xxiv . a novice preacher . is a young lapwing , running from his nest of the university , before maturity of time and knowledge have cast the shel of ignorance , which therefore he still carries on his pate . how-ever this kallow bird weary of his mothers tuition , ( when indeed she might better be weary of him ) having hopt out of his nest , must be chirping on every hedge , and will be stragling abroad , never minding the danger of such attempts ; but who so bold as blinde bayard , saith the proverbe ? wee may say of him as of the nitingale , vox & praeterea nil , his greatest commendation is the strength of his lungs , having been but a while like a cypher , in the place of a figure , me thinks , i heare the people saying , to those novices , as the wise to the foolish virgins , ye have not enough for us and your selves too , go yee rather and buy for your selves : for wee beare ye witnesse , that hitherto out of your owne necessities ye have administred unto us . and no wonder , that instead of shining lights , they prove foolish fires to lead their flocks into a maze of errours , in which they wander , not having the clue of learning or judgement to guide them out . they are rather smoake to put out the eyes of the seeing , then like to lend eyes unto the blind . they are meere wels without water , and clouds without rain . his sermons are but the ecchoes of other men , in which his greatest commendation is , that he reads them clerk-like . for his prayers they consist most an end of naught else , save a zealous taking the lords name in vain , in tedious tautologies ▪ which he is as devout in , as a papist would be in dropping his beads . his library consists of a directory , and an ordinance for tithes , and if his estate will reach to it , a concordance . xxv . a scandalous preacher . he is one who by his doctrine sheweth the way to heaven , but by his life , the road to hell . like that ridiculous actor iu smyrna , who pronouncing ô coelum ! pointed down to the ground , of whom polemio in a chafe sayd , this fellow hath spoken false latine with his hand : so does he that preacheth well , and lives ill ; he speakes false divinity with his conversation . his tongue speakes the language of canaan , but his life the language of ashdod . we may say of him as it was of erasmus , his encheridion , that there was more devotion in the booke then the man ; so that there is more learning and religion in the sermon then in the preacher , and what an incongruous thing is it , to see an holy preacher and a wicked man in one and the same person ? whose life is a traytor to that doctrine his tongue both professeth and perswades alleagance to , as if hee thought to goe to heaven some other way then what he teaches the people , soyling the glorious robe of religion , by putting it upon a beastly conversation . he is a meere comoedian in religion , acting goodnesse in voice and gesture onely . his life and doctrine is like the cloud that led the israelites in the wildernes , light on one side , but dark on the other , for no man teaches better then he , and no man lives worse , teaching others what he does not himselfe , like way-posts , directing travailers in their way , but themselves not stirring . xxvi . a grave divine . is a faithfull watchman , going before his flock , holding forth the shining lampe of his doctrine in the lanthorne of a good conversation . hee is a good steward , that hath studyed before hand to lay in sufficient provision for that great charge he hath undertaken . he leapt not from the grammar schoole to the pulpit , but was long in the tyring-house of the university , before he appear'd on the publike theater , where he courted not the mistrisse divinity first , but made his way to her the easier , by first winning the arts , her hand-maids . neither was he hasty to launch forth of that port , till hee was sufficiently ballasted with learning . being lawfully called to the ministry , he first throughly learned the weight thereof , that hee may the better fit his shoulders to beare it , and surely he that is most carefull to know , will be most carefull to performe his duty . his endeavour is to fit his matter to the capacity of his hearers , as desiring rather their profit then his applause . in any controversie he more delights to shew the strength of truth , then his adversaries weaknesse : using soft words , ( as one well ) but hard arguments . he is very circumspect in ordering his own conversation , as knowing that ignorant people learn as much ( if not more ) by their eyes then their eares ; so that his whole life is but one continued lecture , wherein his parishioners may legibly read their duty . and indeed the actions of the minister , are the pole-stars the people steere their course by : therefore it is our ministers care that they may read ( as it were ) all his precepts and exhortations to them in the line of his own life . xxvii . a self-conceited man . is one that looking through the spectacles of self-love on his own worth , which makes every small thing seeme great in his own conceit . like the ape , he hugs the brats of his own brain , and with the crow , thinks his own bird whitest . he looks only upon the flowers of his good actions , but not on the weeds of his imperfections , which , though never so bad , are the best part of his actions . hee looks so on his own beauty , till narcissus-like he is inamoured with himself , being drunken with self-conceit he sees all things double . whatsoever he sayes , he counts like pithagoras his ipse dixit , to his scholars , that must stand for an infalible rule . his opinions are alwayes singular , and had rather erre by himself then hold a common truth . you can tell him nothing that is good in him , but hee knew it too well before . whatsoever opinion he is pleased to grace with approbation , must be the only truth , not because it is ( if it be ) truth , but because he holds it . xxviii . an inconstant man . he is a wandring star , never fixed in any resolution . whatsoever he meant or said , is presently altered , for he meant it not long enough to take impression , his strongest resolutions being rather tack'd then fastned . he is always building and pulling down , striving to out-vey time it selfe in mutability : in the best things continuance is quarrell sufficient , and novelty the highest style of commendation in the meanest . his understanding writes upon his wit , as men write on water , no sooner written , but forgotten . he is a stranger to himselfe , and all his actions so different from another , that one would think it impossible they should all come out of one the sameshop . a piece of clay , tempered with running water , which keeps his wit in a perpetuall motion . he often resolves seldome acts , being rul'd by passion , not reason . he is the best enemy that can be , but the worst friend , for 't is a wonder if his love or hatred , last so long as a wonder . all his purposes are built upon the floting islands of his severall humours : but i le here cast anchor , and leave him to the winde of his own will . xxix . religion . religion in it self is naturally written in the hearts of all men : which will rather be of a false then of no religion . it is the bond betweene god and us , and therefore in our old english called eanfastnes , as the only assurance , and fast anchor-hold of our souls health : and therefore irreligious men cut or dissolve this band , and then no wonder if cutting this cable , they make shipwrack of their souls . though there be many false religions , as many false gods in the world , yet is there but one true religion , as one true and only god , who is the sole object of religion : and all those severall ones , though so far distant frō one another , yet they all meet in this , that they all worship a diety . religion ( like sampson's haire ) is the strength of a kingdom : where that is lost , the kingdom is a true icabod , the glory is departed : and no such way to lose the true religion , as in a crowd of false ones . hee that opens his hand ( or his heart rather ) to contein all will , retein none : true religion is of too pure a nature to admit of any mixture , but alas ! we may too truly say of religion in our times , as erasmus did of the friers cowle in his , that it there was like charity , for it cover'd a multitude of sins , as if there was no such way for men to fight for their own ends , as under the banner of religion . * * xxx . death . death is that universall winde to which all mortals , become wind-fals from the tree of life . sickenesses & sleep , are as pauses and parentheses , in the line of life , but death the full point ; the period ; and ne plus ultra , of the longest . the grisly atropos that cuts in sunder the strongest cord of life , it is that unavoidable debt levied upon all mankind , by force of that statute enacted by god in paradise : and recorded by saint paul , that all must dye . as when one told anaxagoras , the athenians have condemn'd thee to dye , he answered , and nature then . it is that black night , which over-takes , and over-spreads the brightest day of life . the grim serjeant sent from the almighty with an habeas corpus , to arrest every one for that unavoidable debt , due to nature , ever since our first parent broke and turn'd bankerupt . the grave is his prison wherein he keeps them , till the resurrection , the time of their gaol-delivery from it . but to the godly , it is a friendly-fo , which by robbing them of a mortall life , makes them capable of immortality ; and by splitting the vessell of their bodies , upon the rock of death , engulphs their souls into eternity : setting her free from the prison of the body , and endenizing her into heaven . it is their exodus out of the egypt of the world , preparing them to enter into their promised land of the heavenly canaan : or new hierusalem . at this port must weall arrive : whatsoever our voyage be . this is the totall summe of all mankinde . it is the bitter cup our father adam begun , and wee must all pledge it : the inheritance which he purchased , as his wages of sin , and is entayl'd to all his posterity . a deluge which broke in by adams breach of gods commandement that sooner or later will over-flow all mankind . by his rebelling against god , al are become subject to deaths command . what the epigram sayth wittily on the gramarian is true of every man , that being able to decline all other nownes in every case , could decline death in no case . all must fall down at deaths feet , as well the prince as the pesant . he cannot be resisted , nor will he be flatterd . no orator so eloquent , that could perswade death to spare him nor monarch so mighty tha● could resist him . hezekiah , indeed was repriev'd , by god himselfe , for fiften yeares , but he came to it at last . when this wind blowes , and when this rain descends , it irresistably blowes down , and washeth away the clay tenements of our bodies . he is an archer that shooteth , somtimes beyond us hitting our supriours , somtimes short of us , striking our inferiors , somtimes at our right hand , depriving us of our freinds , somtimes at our left hand , taking away our foes : and then at last hits the marke it selfe , and we must tread the same path , that all have , who are gon before us , and all must that shall come after . ( ⸪ ) mors , omnium finis . notes, typically marginal, from the original text notes for div a e- burton of melanc . in ep. sam. . fraus dolus in obscura , eoque in ●nitabilia . plin. paneger , in trajan . owen ep. plin. nat. hist. aug. lactan. dum pacem peto audite inermes . iocasta to her two sons etop●les & polinites . sen. trag. thebais . polybius cited by melancth. chron. fol. p. . sir fr. bacon . apotheg . suet. trā . in vit. domit. ex utraque parte sunt qui pugnare cupiunt , tully suet. tran. ut ante . essayes and characters, ironicall, and instructiue the second impression. with a new satyre in defence of common law and lawyers: mixt with reproofe against their common enemy. with many new characters, & diuers other things added; & euery thing ammended. by iohn stephens the yonger, of lincolnes inne, gent. satyrical essayes characters and others stephens, john, fl. - . approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : - (eebo-tcp phase ). a stc estc s this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : ) essayes and characters, ironicall, and instructiue the second impression. with a new satyre in defence of common law and lawyers: mixt with reproofe against their common enemy. with many new characters, & diuers other things added; & euery thing ammended. by iohn stephens the yonger, of lincolnes inne, gent. satyrical essayes characters and others stephens, john, fl. - . [ ], , - , - p. printed by e: allde for phillip knight, and are to be solde at his shop in chancery lane ouer against the rowles, london : . partly in verse. originally published the same year as: satyrical essayes characters and others. reproduction of the original in the henry e. huntington library and art gallery. created by converting tcp files to tei p using tcp tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between and available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the , texts created during phase of the project have been released into the public domain as of january . anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. % (or pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf- unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p , characters represented either as utf- unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng characters and characteristics -- early works to . - tcp assigned for keying and markup - apex covantage keyed and coded from proquest page images - rina kor sampled and proofread - rina kor text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion essayes and characters . ironicall , and instrvctive . the second impression . with a new satyre in defence of common law and lawyers : mixt with reproofe against their common enemy . with many new characters , & diuers other things added ; & euery thing amended . expedit castigare , maledicere non licet neque iuuat : affert enim maledictum vel malidicenti paenitentiam vel vituperationem : iul : scalig : de subt●…l ▪ by iohn stephens the yonger , of lincolnes inne , gent. london , printed by e : allde for phillip knight , and are to be solde at his shop in chancery lane ouer against the rowles . . to the worthy and worshipfull my honored friend , thomas turnor esquire &c. sir , yov did accept the former impression ; which , as my second thoughts haue taught me , was a most idle creature ; a thing only to be respected in your dispensation . diligence and better knowledge , haue made it a much better volumne : you may peruse it therefore againe i must assure you , without losse of time . if you repent a second reading , let me not be reputed what i am your truly louing i. s. to the reader . thou art i presume wise enough ( whatsoeuer thou art ) not to beleeue me , if i should largely seeme to praise my selfe ; or to reuile iny poore detractor , who is like the stoeworme , venomous , but blinde : continue thy iust vnbeleefe , for dealers in this kinde , be readie to out-braue and couzen thee . nor hast thou reason to allow me more credit then thoso wordlings : for i confesse & am not sorry , thou and i are yet scarce 〈◊〉 : trust me not therefore further then thou maist discreetly ; and then perhaps thou wil●… acknowledge , that if ( before ) this worke was reasonable , it may be now thought vnamendable : howsoeuer if any thinkes i needed helpe to meditate such a trifling labor , i thanke him for his enuious good opinion : for i can not wish to be more well commended . to the namelesse rayler : who hath lenghthened his excellent actor , a most needy caracter following the wife with a peece of * dog-skin witt ; dressed ouer with oyle of sweaty post-horse . vnusquisque turpis & inscius & ventosus , maleuolae ac rudi suae calumniae fretus , alieni nominis ruina , gradum sibi facit ad suam gloriam . sed , — ille per extentum funem mihi posse videtur ire poeta , meum quipectus inaniter angit irritat , mulcet , falsis terrroribus implet vt magus : — you haue ( i know not vpon what acquaintance ) beene bolde with me ; and if i said impudent , your tearme of imitating would excuse me : pre ▪ thee if thou be'st honest , or a scholler , be modest likewise and accuse thy selfe : i would be loath to blame thee and loose my labor , vnlesse i knowe thy nature ; which would perhaps neither thanke me nor amend . nor did i ( as one affected vnto sa●…cie rayling ) admit a friends saytre , but to informe the world that one mans credit should be more esteemed , then the most generally and worthyly contemned baser sort of players : and let discretion teach thee , that all the writers of this age , must * imitate ; though some endeauour it , sonse doe it without a meaning : the last , was mine if any ; hut hetherto i know not any . my comfort is ; i cannot walke into the citty , without being rubbed by some uncleanely person ; much lesse then can my booke trauaile in the worlds compasse , and not be troden vpon by such a rude boistrous knaue as thou : but as , being rubbed i would not willingly rubbe againe ; so was i not willing that my bo●…ke should resist thee ; but rise againe , and scorne thee : for all thy attributes sauour of madnes and of venome . and for their sakes , i giue the poets laughters to thy stumbling and most wit-lesse language . dij te damasippe deaeque ob maledictum mox donēt tonsore ; sed vnde tam bene ne nosti ? postquam omnis restua , ludos ad medios fracta est , aliena negotia curas excussus proprijs . hor : saty : . lib. . marti : lib : . epig : . ad detractorem . allatres licet vsque nos & vsque , et gannitibus improbis laceflas : certum est hanc tibi p●…negare sama●… , olim quam petis in meis libellis , qualiscunque legaris vt per orbem . nam tecur aliquis sciat fuis●…e ? ignotus pereas miser necesse est . non de●…runt tamen hac in vrbe forsan vnus , velduo , tresue , quatuor ve , pellem rodere qui velint cani●…am : nos hac a scab●…e teneamus vngues . to the same detractor . you may barke lowd against vs & prouoke , vs , with il-fauourd snarlings till you choke : yet questionles the world will dare d●…ny , the fame you couet in our poetry : yes though your libels be dispered abroad : for why should any know that such a toad , hath had a being ? thy detested graue , will take thee vnknowne , & a p●…teous k●…aue . yet will this citty l●…nd the willing power of one , of two , of three , perhaps of ●…ower ▪ who will not faile thy currish hide to 〈◊〉 , though i doe thee a mangy●… s●…aue forbea●…e . in eundem . quaenam te mala mens miselle rauide agit praecipitem in meas nugas ? quia deus tibi n●…n bene aduocatus , vecordem parat exitare rixam ? an vt pervenias in ora vulgi ? quid vis ? qualibet esse noius optas ? eris : quandoquidem oratio tua est plena veneni et pestilentiae . catullus . thus much may perswade thie ( reader ) that detractors , nay , detractors in the like kinde of impudence , haue among the best auncients beene a common fortune : and therefore they be not indeed worth a minutes anguish . i. s. a friends inuitation : no flatterers encomion . vvhen many are inuited to a feast , though the inuiter doth not know his guest , and therefore cannot well prouide in hast , one dish so curious , as may please each tast : yet if this host hath such a carefull minde , as that he will , for each mans stomacke , finde a seu'rall meat ; and so prouide with care , good hous-roome , harty welcome , & good fare . shall we condemne his liberall act and loue , if thank-lesse inuitants the same disproue ? some ( peraduenture ) doth one dish there see , which with his nature doth not well agree : some other may perchance dislike the feast , because it is not all what he likes best . and so with diuers censures they doe take , due praise from him who did the banquet make : which may discourage him that doth intend , such carefull cost another time to spend . yet ( worthy author ) let not this dismay thee , to goe forward in that vertuous way thou hast propounded ; nor let that be lost which is so rare . thou art a noble host , and cause thou knowest not the mindes of those , that shall receiue thy feast , thou dost dispose of things so fitly , that all here may finde , diuers prouisions for each readers minde . what if perchance some surfet at thy feast , because they cannot easily digest some vicious quallity , which raignes so rife in vicious minds ( made known by their lewd life ) so rife ; as you the danger haue exprest , that knowing it , they might the vice detest ? pitty their weaknes then , seeing thou dost tell , nothing to poyson humor , but expell . what if some others will thy feast abuse , because it is of seu'rall kindes ? resuse the founders dignitie , because t is knowne mens tastes and palates onely be their owne ? thou mad'st it not for onely one mans sake , but all the worlds , if all of it partake . take resolution therefore to thy minde ; adde winges vnto thy fainting courage ; binde all thy due strength together ; to prouide so rare a banquet ; which may long abide to all mens profit , and the founders praise . he therefore doth inuite the guests that sayes this is a noble feast ; and wisheth this , that he , which of this feast doth iudge amisse may ( if he wants what is in this combin'd ) seeke to atchieue the same , but neuer finde . antho . cro●…yes . of grayes inne gent. to the nameles author of a late character entituled , an excellent actor , following the wise. your bolt so soone shott against my freind this author ▪ is now returned into your scandalous throate ; beaten backe from one too strongly fortifide , for such cholerick distraction to preuaile with : he knowing therefore the manifest disgrace , that might be noted , if he should swagger in the darke with one whom neither he or any man ( as he thinkes ) euer knew ; hath onely lighted a double torch ( fearing least one , were hardly light enough ) to finde the person of such an obscure vagrant : nor must you further looke that he will grace you with incounter , for ( vpon my knowledge ) he was contented to reward you with the poets maxime — istic est thesaurus stultis in lingua sit us vt quaestui habeant male loqui melioribus . this haue you confirmed in your vnlickt character , which like the rats on the banks of nilus , hath only a forepart , and that deformed ; the taile and hinder-parts be 〈◊〉 mu●…de : wherein hoping to mend your credit by anothers losse , you haue presented to the sight of euery honest reader your own ignorance , and malicious folly : these two , your onely darlings , like common prostitutes , haue sett vp a vaulting-schoole in your decayed scull ; and hanged their bills vp to drawe customers : but as they both haue beene the deadly foes to learning , so are they the most beloued minions to petty pamphleters : witnes your ignorant mistaking of approued and authorised actors for counterfeit runagates , or country players , inueighed against by the characterist : as also your derogating from his industruous labour , applauded by the best iudgements . in regard whereof , take this which followes , iras●…i nostro non debes ▪ cerdo libello ars tua , non vita est carmine laesa m●…o . vvas it or enuy , or the hope of coyne , or did thy sister furies thee enioyne with thine infectious breath to dimme the hue of this vnspotted mirror , whose bright view dazells thy feeble eyes ? or is thy sight ( fittest to looke on dunghills ) by true light so much obscured that thou canst not see the sunne at noon-time shine ; vnlesse there be thy cloudy spirits interpos'd ; and so it proues vnfaire whilst thou vnfit to know ? canst thou forswear 't , and thinke thy booke shall help ? or that thy character ( the purblind whelp of a leane bitch ) can licke away these markes from thee and thy maintaining fellow sharkes ? noe , noe : who lookes , if not ( as thou art ) blind , vpon thy excellent actor , may there finde , in ragged cloathes thy pouerty of purse , of minde and credit thy deserued curse : and sweare most credibly that all was penn'd them to protect from shame , who thee defend from want : alas , we know need can excuse the trade of begging , hangmen , or the stewes , and why not common players ? not those men whose soules did keepe in r●…scius , and then left rome to visit vs ; beleeuing here men should and doe excell his action farre : these wee account as much as you ; who try with a rauens voice , to'approue their melody , and mar their happy fame , which few controule . wherfore then do you bark ? could not your foule vntutord muse dwell in the suburbs still ( your witts best subiect ) or your buzzard quill stoope at your wonted carrion game ; but flye to pitch aboue an eagles aery ? detract you cannot ; for thinges simply good , loose not their natures , though they be withstood by deep or baser wits : nay all should say , thinges must be excellent because that they tasted and did distaste : we know the kite affecteth stench , and owles abhor the light : deep witts ( through enuy ) others fame disproue : base witts by kinde doe base thinges onely loue . i 'le then not wonder that the players friend , i meane this hierling can boldly spend his soggy breath to blow away the curse of statute law : alas a wicked purse puts strength into his lungs . i thinke him blind , who cannot see the kings high-way , nor finde one sparke of reason that may make him iudge , betwixt rare beauties and a kitchin-drudge : and yet hee 's blameles : they he not contrould that praise cheape counters and reiect fine gold but rather laught at : fooles and children may before best maskes pre●…erre a puppet play . i must be plaine and will : it is no sinne to turne againe when others doe beginne . w●…r't thou an eagle , yet the harmelesse swan dares to incounter thee who first began to meddle and prouoke : let enuy burst , we can defend our selfe , offend none first . wilt thou then know thy selfe ? for surely yet the little soule thou hast doth poorely sit in her halfe ruin'd cell ; and through thine eyes false spectacles , she louely trueth espyes in faigned shapes : beleeuing it to be such as it seemes to her , who cannot see thinges truely nor her selfe , but proudly blinde iudges thinges base , by basenes of her minde . you are the cuttle-fish whose inky gall spewd into purest waters , turnes them all to the same couler , thinking to escape the searchers eyes , or hide your monstrous shape : such a most busie daw did seeme to dresse my * characters ( vnknowne ) with saucinesse . couldst thou licke homers vomit ; or else theirs whose heauenly raptures blesse our modern yeres and those to come shall blesse ; your name might liue in poets happines , and well suruiue the workes of brasse and marble : but i know you cannot be so bless'd : for those that draw plenty of water from the ocean store empty not it ; yet haue themselues the more , which they may cal their own : but they that take from puddles or dull frog-pits , neuer make themselues nor others happy : all their toyle is like the gleaning of a barren soyle ; both voide of gaine and credit : this apply vnto your selfe , whose witts best treasury lyes in don quixot , amadis de gaule , huon of burdeaux , and those other small slight pamphleters ; vpon whose bruised winges thy feeble muse doth ride , and slowly singes her tuneles dreames : and labours to obtaine , the bawdy treasure of mimnernus braine : whose trauaile was in lust-bred plotts ; and so thou maist excell good homer , who did know nothing but that was honest . i might proue this if i knew thy dealing by the loue thou hast composd ; where men might read thy shame ( thou being disouered ) in the deuills name . and what of that sayst thou ? this i inferre , such as the shadowes such the bodyes are . and sure i thinke ( by thee ) that soules doe passe , from one to another as 〈◊〉 did teach his times : for who can heare you name hackney●… so o●…t but thinkes your essence came out of a stall●…on : or indeed perchaunce , a hackn●…y was thy ▪ whole inheritance . for you perhaps 〈◊〉 that any asse , or stumbling coach-horse your soules lodging was yet from those rotten carkasses might spring , your waspish hornet braines , which buzze and sting to your destruction ; if you aske me why ? when hornets sting they loose their stings & dy : which i desire not ; but would haue t●…ee liue to raile at vertuous acts , and so to giue good vertues lustre : seing enuy still waites on the best deserts to her owne ill . but , for your selfe learne this , let not you●… 〈◊〉 strike at the slint againe , which can withstand your malice without harme , and to your face returne contempt the brand of your disgrace : whilst he doth sit vnmou'd , whose constant mind ( armd against obloquy ) with that weake winde cannot be shaken : for himselfe doth marke , that doggs for custome not for fierenes barke : these any foot-boy kicks and therefore hee passing them by with scorne , doth pitty thee : for being of their nature mute at noone thou da●…st at midnight barke against the moone : where maist thou euer barke , and no man heare but to returne the like : and mayst thou beare with griefe more slanders then thou canst inuent or e're did practise yet or canst preuent . mayst thou be matc●…t with enuy ▪ and defend scorne towards that which all besides commend : and may that scorne so worke vpon thy sence that neither suffering nor impudence may teach the cure : or being ouerworne with hope of cure may merrit greater scorne . if , not too late , let all thy labours bee contemnd by vpright iudgements , and thy fee so hardly earn'd not paid . may thy rude quill be alwaies mercenary , and write still that which no man will reade ; vnlesse to see thine ignorance , and then to laugh at thee . and mayst thou liue to feele this , and then grone because , t is soe , yet cannot helpe : and none may rescue thee , till your checkt conscience cry this this i haue deserued ; then pine and dye . mart : lib : : epig : . et cùm fateri furia iusserit verum prodente clames conscientia , scripsi : i : cocke . an epigram to my friend the author , of his namelesse detractor before mentioned . fastus disdaines thy worke , because not thine , but meerly drawne forth by anothers line : thou imitat'st he saith : well thou mightstone : for thou canst imitated be by none : though i dare take thy word , yea'tis well known ther 's nothing heer but thou maist call thine own . for ( like a common theefe ) the sneaking elfe hath slander●… thee , that he might saue himselfe . aliud epigramma ad authorem delibro suo epulo assimulato . why should'st thou striue or study to vpraise a labour , how to work some welchmens praise ? those that haue iudgement must commend thy skill : regard not then though others say'tis ill : if amongst many they dislike thy feast , a bitt of cheese will helpe them to digest . aliud ad eundem de detractore suo anonymo praedicto . for beare my freind to write against that man a sharpe iambick , who hath wrong'd thy name : thou canst not right thy selfe ; for he hath none : nor can haue , if he be the peoples sonne . geo : greene of lincolns inne gentleman . three satyricall essayes of cowardlinesse . essay . i. feare to resist good vertues common foe , and feare to loose some lucre , which doth by a continued practise ; makes our fate banish ( with single combates ) all the hate , grow : which broad abuses challenge of our spleene . for who in vertues troope was euer seene , who did ( through goodnes ) against passions fight without the publike name of hipocrite ? vaine-glorious , malapert , precise , deuout , be tearmes which threaten those that goe about to stand in opposition of our times with true defiance , or satyricke rimes . cowards they be , branded among the worst , who ( through contempt of atheisme ) neuer durst crowd neere a princes elbow , to suggest smooth t●…les , with glosse , or enuy well addrest . these be the noted cowards of our age , who be not able to inst●…uct the stage with matter of new shamelesse impudence : who cannot almost laugh at innocence ; and purchase high preferment by the wayes , which had beene horrible in nero's dayes . they are the shamefull cowards , who contemne vices of state , or cannot slatter them : who can refuse aduantage ; or deny villanous courses , where they doe ●…spy some little fortune to inrich their chest : though they become vncomfortably blest . wee still account these cowards , who forbeare ( being possess'd with a religious feare ) to slip occasion , when they might erect hornes of disgrace ; or when they doe neglect the violation of a virgins bed with promise to requite her mayden-head . basely low-minded we esteeme that man , who cannot swagger well , ( or if he can ) who doth not with implacable desire , follow reuenge like a consuming fire . extortious rascalls , when they are alone , be think how closely they haue pick'd each bone ; nay with a frolicke humour they will brag , how blanck they left their empty suters bag . which dealings if they did not giue delight ; or not refresh their meetings ; in dispight they would accounted be both weake , vnwise , and like a timorous coward too precise . your handsom-bodied youth ( whose comly ●…ace may challenge all the store of natures grace ) if , when a lustfull lady doth inuite , by some lasciuious trickes his deere delight , if then he doth abhorre such wanton ioy , who is not almost ready to destroy , ciuility with curses , when he heares the tale recited ? blaming much his yeares , or modest weaknes , and with cheeks full blowne each man will wish the case had been his owne . graue holy men , whose habite will imply nothing but honest zeale , or sanctity , nay so vprighteous will their actions seeme , as you their thoughts religion will esteeme . yet these all-sacred-men , who daily giue such ●…owes , would think themselues vnfit to liue if they were artlesse in the slattering vice , euen to deuoure a treble benefice . none ( for her owne sake ) fauours innocence . charity layes a side her conscience , and lookes vpon the sraile commodity of monstrous bargaines with a couetous eye : and now the name of generosity , of noble cariage , or braue dignity ; keepe such a common skirmish in our bloud ; as we direct the measure of thinges good , by that , which reputation of estate , glory of rumour , or the present rate of sauing 〈◊〉 doth best admit . we doe imploy materials of wit , knowledge occasion , labour , dignity , among our spirits of audacity . nor in our gain-full proiects do we care for what is p●…ous , but for what we da●…e . shop-keepers would be thought extreamly dull , worse then a simple or phantastique gull , if when they meet a nouice or a man of good experience , they neither can couzen the buyer with protested loue , nor with perswading fables him remoue . they would be threatned i thinke in despight , among their fellow-cheaters ( who delight as much in crafty tearmes as in the ware ) if they should any circumuention spare . they haue a tricke to whisper once or twise and l●…aue their voice when they abate the price , seeming to tell you they hau●… bargaind so , as they abhor to let the neighbours know ; when stuffe and price doe lesse in worth agree then place and meritts where sweet minions bee . let neuer truth protect me if my witts doe not halfe stagger whilst my fancy sitts reuoluing their most licenc'd couzenage : they make it the whole practise of their age to sell and to deceiue . the fatherles ( who had a little stocke and craftines ) haue by the deuils meanes aduanc'd their state quickly and richly in a twelue yeares date : when true diuines and honest lawyers may , after more study shut their bookes and play : so much more wealthy is it to perswade youth in a seruile then a noble trade . will you bele●…ue me ? they haue secret charmes by which they doe arise to wealth and armes : as deepe magicians with a triple sound raise wind●… spirits vp aboue the ground , so citty tradesmen haue the same deuise to eleuate themselues : stuffe , couller , prise , be made the triple meanes which briefly can t●…ansforme a woodcock to an alderman . but one among the rest ( more wisely bent then to approue the way which others went ) insinuates his thrid with silken lace : both which together gott a mayors place : which did reueal●… him then , to be indeede a thridden fellow in a silken weede . thus doe they prosper , and when worth dispaires breed a slight fortune for consuming heires : and among secrets which they closely learne , they thinke them best which onely they discern : as if whilst they to hell be going on it were some ioy not to be look'd vpon : thinking ( as all men thinke ) that few haue been damned indeed , if they were damnd vnseene esteeming death , and horror , sermon-toyes ; if they doe softly come without much noyse . shall vsury be thought a godlesse gaine : because it helpes men with such little paine . and shall not lazy cheating trades be thought alike vnlawfull , being often bought with little times expence : they doe discharge all their professions faculty at large , if they can walke about their wealthy shopps , in sober gownes and very hansome slopps , now looking on their wiues , then on the ware , casting about betimes how to prepare a place of worship for his infant sonne : else meditating how they may out-runn their neighbors fortune ; or beguile the trust of them who raisd their fortunes from the dust : how they may bankroupt seeme , perhaps they or of a merry voyage : or they drinke , and beat their seruants madly : o●… they sleepe : thinke : or a high valued plentious feast they keepe : or if they thinke how they may busie bee , they doe reuolue their sin-full booke , and see where they may best amend the figures weight , and turne a twenty-sixe to twenty-eight . then tell me some that know , doth common vse a worse or easier gaine then this produce ? i will indeed consent ; vsurious coyne is not with labour taught , how to purloyne , so much as the deceipt of narrow yards . an vsurer much busie time discards which might instruct his knowledge to receiue a much more impious gaine , and more deceiue . he might be busie as our tra ●…esmen bee , to c●…eate or l●…e : till when i must agree their the ●…uish busines which they reckon best , excells the labor of rich interest . but i am largely clamorous , and shall among the titles of inuectiues fall : for now the times corrupted language giues new names to whatsoeuer is or liues not suting with our humors and intent : an honest courage we call impudent : and impudence hath lately tooke the name of thr●…uing wit , which doth obtaine best fame . good humble men , who haue sincerely layd saluation for their hope , we call afraid . but if you will vouchsafe a patient eare , you shall perceiue , men impious haue most feare . essay . ii. many aspiring fellowes you may see , who after they and fortune do●… agree , come ( by briefe windings ) to be men elect ; through priuate means , heauen knows how indirect to flourish quickly and aduance their head , as if they tooke possession from the dead : when all the heralds neuer could deuise , from whence the fathers kindred might arise . though many call them nephew , brothers sonne , ( because a thriftie garment they haue spun ) who ( else ) with publick shame had bin disgrac'd , and all the titles of their loue de●…ac'd : but now they flourish and with honour swell , whose poore beginnings euery groome can tel : as if a newfound whittingtons rare cat come to extoll their birth-rights abou●… that which nature once intended : 〈◊〉 be men who thinke not of a 〈◊〉 yeelding ten : they turne base copp●…r i●…to perfect gold : counterfeit couzening wares be wisely sold. men be perswaded well of prosperous fa●…e , giuing much credite to a crafty pate , but if these cowards durst discouer all , both how they did their high estates install , how they began to make a league with hell , or how they did in damned plots excell , their very liues alone , if they were dead , would make another work for 〈◊〉 . alas they dare not ; these be cowards right , for whose abortiue deedes the blackest night , is neuer blacke enough , nor can 〈◊〉 ; their shame , which lewd posterities ●…eueale , fine hansome outsides who so highly stand on the reputed courage of their hand ; who keepe their pages with such spacious gard : ( scorning to play without a coated card ) who keep a large retinue , or erect buildings ; in which they neuer can expect to dwell , with credit of their famish'd stock ; or to maintaine the vse of one good lock . these notwithstanding to augment their glosse , and tu●…n some braue expences into drosse , will be the seruile debtors to a slaue , who hath no remedy , but to depraue their fortunes with inuectiue impudence , or make petitions to desray expence . and yet these mighty v●…starts cannot dare , to pay a single crosse : except they spare thir pompe ; which giues a lustre in the court , and in the citty makes aboundant sport . spend-thrisis , and gallants likewise ( who haue lands which beare all saffron for their yellow bands ) those which haue onely complement , & whoope in tauernes ; may attend the former troope . those that dare challenge any man of armes , and seeme to beare about them valiant charmes : belching vnciuill enuy , in the face of him that meekely contradicts their grace ; as if they carried vengeance in their iawes , or executions of the statute-lawes . those men if strictly challeng'd , quake with feare contriuing basely how they may forbeare : and ( leauing then a while their pompous pride ) they best bethinke , how they may closely hide their contumacious heads with priuiledge : for when the slat-cap tradesinan doth alledge forfeit of payments ( and because at length his wife , & so the world , doth know his strength ) when he procures a champion to demand the noble answere of his debtors hand : and dares my valiant swaggerer to meet , his lawfull challenge in the open street ; he , rather then he will prouoke the strise , sues by petition to my plaintifes wife : who if she doth not very much forget , takes downe the quarrell , and so payes the debt . another sort of cowards you may see , ( transcending these in a more base degree ) who to pre●…erue aduancement , or vphold their families , ( without expence of gold ) will , in promis●…uous manner , congregate amongst good men , who blockish papisme hate ; nay , they will be attentiue in the church , ( all to avoyd the law , and penall lurch ) they will con-niue at holy arguments , and often beare a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 parliaments : they will agree to co●…stituted lawes , which almost 〈◊〉 to their kin●…dome drawes , ( all notwithst●…nding ) they directly ●…are hope to be sau'd , as 〈◊〉 papists are ; expecting on some opportunity , when they may make a traytrous vnity : for all the truth which can excuse their fate , is , that they finely can equiuocate : a cowards doctrine , full of shameles feare , insuses ioy to their misguided ●…are : and yet no equall iustice them controules , because they haue a curtaine to their soules . corrupted officers , the common cuise of publike law , doe stuffe their gaping purse with wrongfull fees , and grow extreamly fat by their delicious trickes , or lying squat vp to the eares in pleasant alchymie : if these men durst bewray their infamy , and bring their holyest actions into light , the day would runne to a pr●…digious night . new fees created are , and then the match must something take to frame a briefe dispatch : informers be preuented by a feate , which quallifies indeed their boystrous heate , although vniustly : clearkes and other knaues ( who with their gennerous ruffs the court out-braues ) will take a pention , or a quarter fee , to make their friend from information free ; and ( to preuent the mischiefe ) will declare how other bills already doe not spare to certifie the court a day before of that , for which the plaintiff●… doth implore : so false and fained policie doth cracke the crafty meanings that pre-caution lacke : yet still they gape , and say they cannot saue the many pounds which they so freely gaue to purchase ten times more : for they intend onely on priuate meanings to depend . that waking sighted run-away , the hare , ( which is preseru'd by a continuall feare ) cannot ( by this ) protect her innocence , so much as officers their lewd pretence : the fox an auncient hierogliphicke was , in fryers robes to shew the common passe of smooth hypocrisie , and church-mens craft ; but now a formall gowne may serue to wast this badge among our prowling officers , which name and habite rightuously inferres as much compacted villany , as meetes among the stewards of rich countrey lee●…es : both couzen with as great conformity , as if they held some new fraternity : both be so practysd in good uertues scorne , as if atturnies had directly sworne to match the officer , and powle the ●…leece , as if they both consisted of one peece . they both insinuate their sweating paines , their common payment : each ( alike ) constraine●… the hunger-bitten client to disburse , till they haue le●…t his hopes euen with his purse , yet will you dare to say those men exact ? no ; that were brainlesse : they so well compact their polliticke inuentions , that the fault of asking more then due , creepes to the vault of clearks dull ignorance to purchase leaue , when their discouered proiects doe deceiue a substitute in courts may rather take all wrested fees , that glosse may thereby make the steward seeme lesse culpable in vice , when substitutes are taught by his aduice : and if some one their cousenage doth betray , the substitute can easily slinke away . my baudy proctor likewise , who presumes to purge mens purses , for venerall rhumes ; who threatens penance in a ghostly sheete , if clyents ( though they strip f●…om head to feete ) be slacke in payment of extortious coine : this man who studies first how to purloine , before he lookes vpon the ciuill law ; this man , who hath a prompt and ready paw , who loues no innes of court , shutting his cracks and all his rage , vder a nose of wax ; who , when a fornicator lookes awry , that he the least aduantage may espy , he will officiously attend the court , because he smels out the ensuing sport , and when a grieuous sine afflicts the purse of fleshly sinners , to escape the curse , he and the thrifty iudge cau closely share the foule taxation , which with pious care is well intended to correct the sinne , establish bridges which decay within , releiue sicke persons , or amend high-wayes , or some religious chappell , which decayes . but they haue other vses to respect , to buy their ●…iuill garments , or affect the wanton lust of some egregious whoore , to win new credit , to deceiue the poore ; and so deceiue the vnsuspectfull time , for ( else ) they durst not so insatiate clime into the fiery region ; neither dares their habite seeme acquainted with these cares . one thing which makes the brag ciuilian account himselfe to be a better man then any common lawyer , 〈◊〉 , because the latine tongue hath dignifi'd there lawes : and well may proctors loue the latine tongue ; for ( as of olde it hath been truly sung ) men measure goodnesse by the pres●…nt gaine : should proctors then from louing that refraine ? when to their great content and greater ease they can expound their latine as they please : for ( as a fellow lately did agree who knowes their dealing ) when you read or see adpios vs●…s in a proctors notes , the meaning is to buy wiues petticotes . now must i summon parish-hypocrites , who seeme attentiue to coelestiall rites ; who thinke the art of him that well doth liue , is all perform'd , if he example giue , which may become the parish : if he pray aloude in chambers , or deuoutly pay the tribute of plaine dealing vnto all who ( can to their assistance ) iustice call : if in assemblies he can shew good workes , and call offenders , infidels or turkes : he thinkes he hath discharg'd the finall part of a religious or honest heart : though he doth closely keepe a vertuous punke , or though ( on cautious tearmes ) he can be drunk : though in another county , and the name of other agents h●… can schedules frame ; and thinkes himselfe to be a man well blest , though he receiues the sinfull interest : for this eye-seruing-age is quickly gone to all deceit , if we lacke lookers on . these be most valiant cowards , men that dare be boldly impious , and yet basely feare , least common rumour should obserue or thinke they be not still awake , though still they winke . some false physitions lye within the reach of these , who true sincerity impeach , their glasses , glisters , oyles , ingredients ( which hope of lucre oftentimes inuents ) doe carry all ( as if a cowards soule kept in their bosomes ) to the dead mens rowle ; hiding their fearefull practise in the graues : leane death , their operation still out-braues . sometimes their crabbed enuy doth inuent , sometimes they kill with new experiment : for still they erre by custome or by chance , either by malice , or by ignorance : and hauing spent prescriptions to each dramme : he thinkes alas sure i protected am , if now i see our physicke does no good , or seeing i haue suckt his purse and blood , if i can tell his friends there is no hope , or that he must expect deaths fatall scope : then shall i be discharg'd with credits fee , and to condemne more liues , remaine still free . they shift their compasse to auoyd our scorne , hiding their actions from the faire-fac'd morne . but now censorious critticks doe disgrace each worke they know not , with a scuruy face : they banish authors to barbarian lands , and fling true solid matter from their hands , with a disdainfull motto of non sence : although themselues ( excepting impudence ) haue nothing to excuse their vanitie : latinlesse lawlesse rogues , they often be , who hauing past their verdict , will recant : for their maintaining faculty is scant . or ●…f these apish cowards dare defend , the vice of iudgement , brings them to their end . and yet some writers doe deserue the name of cowards likewise : they be growne so tame , with being often handled , often prais'd , as they forget their motion , being rais'd aboue the highest spheres : they thinke it much , more then indeed enough , to haue beene such as they were once accounted : though they sleepe follow their ease , and sluggish silence keepe : nay thogh they wake , & ( which doth poyson thē ) follow those errors which they did condemne . some worthlesse poets also , haue the vice to write their labours as they cast the dice : if ( by addenture ) some strange happy chance , smiles on their borrowed workes of ignorance , they can bewray their theeuish names , and giue notice to all , how they eterniz'd liue . but if ( presuming on their sickly strength ) they write , and doe betray themselues at length : then , oh they came into the publicke presse against their wils ; they dare not then confesse who wrongs the world with such base poetry : nay , their owne eldest sonnes they will deny . all hide their vices . pr●…nters also hide errors escap'd , which makes wise men deride excellent wits , deser●…ing worthy praise , when ( through distinctions lost ) the truth decaies : but among all base writers of this time , i cannot reckon vp more desperate rime , ( which trauailes with a feare so damnable ) as libell-lashing measures : they excell onely in this ; that those be counted best , which the foole-author dares aknowledge least . these are contemptible enough , and yet their lines maske vnder a sictitious wit , when wit ( as hitherto ) was neuer seene truly ingendred by a triuiall spleene . nor can they thus reforme what is impure , seeing men so touch'd , conceiue themselues past cure . wel do these cowards thriue , when hauing blown shame to the peoples eares , they loose their own . briefly , it were a thing preposterous , if rich men , who are nicely couetous , should not be trembling cowards ; when they thinke vpon the ioyfull paines of death they stinke . nothing prouokes me sooner to confesse that athisme is their chiefest happinesse , then to consider how the very best struggle with death , declining to their rest : one plucks away the haires which should reueale his righteous thoughts : another doth conceale the furrowed wrinkles of his tawny skinne : anorher scoures his stumpes , or doth beginne to breake the glasse with foolish extasie , at the reflexe of chap-f●…lne grauitie . can th●…se , with safetie of a quiet minde 〈◊〉 vp themselues with an ambitious winde 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , rumor , lucre , and expence , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…nd good men haue no difference ? 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , i haue some alone , they feed a hundred bellies , i feed one . both van●…sh to o●…liuions caue , vnlesse our very thoughts a liuing soule expresse : w●…ich b●…ing once admitted , no soules can keepe their worst secrets from the face of man. essay . iii. no more , no more : now saith my honest friend be politicke ; or study to commend the time , and timelings , least you doe bestow more copious tearmes then licence dare allow . content thy selfe ( cordatus ) i will blame no reuerend church-men , neither will i name one lewd professor , who polutes the grace of such a formall and respected place : i will not name their liuings , nor their liues , much lesse their bondage to their hansome wiues as if they durst not shew the times disease , because i●…deed they dare not them displease . i will not wrong their holinesse : and why ? in holinesse true zeale you may descry . nor will i taxe church vices , least i wrong the labour which to writing doth belong . for when i haue againe repeated all their vices publicke , and sinnes personall : i shall but reckon the antiquities , of glosse , of ignorance , and simonies : and so repeate things mention'd long before , nay things prefixt vpon each play-house doore . let them ( alas ) continue , or increase , o let them long inioy a quiet peace ; for they already know the mischiefes well : they almost scorne such inwards to expell . and why ? they feare taxation : o strange fate ! they who contemne reproofes , are desperate . we cannot hope such persons will amend , who may ( without controule ) their vice extend . enough , enough , i haue bethought so much concerning cowards , that my selfe am such : i dare not speake my meaning vnder paine of being crost , of being curb'd againe . why crost ? why curb'd ? go aske authoritie why it protects peculiar vanitie ? and it perhaps will answere in defence ; crowes to themselues be perfect innocence . or ( which is more familiar ) 〈◊〉 loues that humor best , which bitterly reproues all states , all faculties besides her owne : she fauours that , and feares it should be knowne , thouhg it be noted ; or with bitter shame , hath purchasd ( e're you write ) an odious name . men thinke their fashions and their faces best , if ( in a flattred humour ) they be blest , to heare men discommend both such and such , not naming theirs ; although they be so much apparant filthy , as no vulgar eye would make a question of deformity : and so superior vices doe ptopound a freedome to their scope , as being sound in selfe conceite , if they can saue their skinne from being printed with a publike sinne ; though ( setting bookes aside ) they doe professe enough to poyson all their names no lesse . see how i breath into the spacious aire , a theame as spacious : can my verse repaire the fruitles errors of men obstinate ; who cannot freely their owne vices hate ? who rather gainefull vices doe condemne , because they cannot purchase gaines by them ? for in their owne offences they reserue such cautions as may closely them preserue . well , sir , admit men labour to be wise , and for themselues do secrets exercise , who shall dare contradict such worthy paines which fosters credit , and ill tearmes restraines ? auant base hipocrite , goe henceforth set vpon thy pillow , thy close cabinet , and sleepe with all the papers in thy hand , which thy most secret counsels may command ; or i with spaniards better shall agree ; or i shall trust a lapwing more then thee . good men dare alwaies haue their thoughts expressd , and to their spightfull haters be confessd . although in lawfull proiects , witt doth teach a priuate way , least others should out-reach . but well , suppose men so directly halt as they doe feare to patronize the fault , shall they not seeke vnpunish'd to remaine , if actions pass'd cannot be cal'd againe ? we daily doe transgresse ; and some perhaps deserue the plagues of lashing after-clap●… : but then , alas ! what satisfaction can , written reproofes be for a vicious man ? you make professions vndergoe contempt , and make the least offence so farre exempt from ciuill vertue , and some new concerts , that you enforce good fellowship to straights . so : haue you done ( deare motley ? ) yes almost ; but stay a little , and behold vncrost , the reason , why we closely doe amis , and why we couer sinne : the reason is to frustrate your inuentions ; which produce , nothing halfe-worthy of a well borne muse ; but triuiall vanities , and time expence , to tell mans weakenes by experience : you might with more applause bestow more pains to grace the mayors triumphs , and the chaines which do attend his lordship to the hall : you might the scottish dignitie miscall : and in some honest , 〈◊〉 , scur●…y rime disgrace or flatter minions of the time : a rustick , sawcy , morall would be rare : to let the people know you do preferre fame and your countries witles loue before ; discretions wealth , and raptures quiet store , you might prouide for cambridge once againe scaenes , which might worthy , like it selfe remaine : and not in tearmes , as needy as the truth , discouer haire-braine fallacies of youth : you might , you might , seuerus , and detest to scourge close dealers who be safely blest : for i can well resolue ; you are the cause why men reserue ( in acts ) a priuate clause : you , and your nice obseruance do restraine men , and their actions both , from being plaine : and yet you call those cowards , who beware as if they were possess'd with childish feare . suruay thy selfe , quicke-sighted formalist , and then discouer that abusiue mist , with which men shelter any private sinne : charity alwayes doth at home beginne . now haue you ended ? then , i answer all by scorning to excuse or hide my fall ; as thou dost vrge , if i transgresse my square , i of relapse , not of reproofe beware : and i beleeue thou likewise wilt amend , if so thou do'st not studiously offend : for that indeed betrayes mens dealings naught , when they doe studie rathe●… to be taught , in subtile mischiefe of a newer mint , then to abiure deceits of common print : for they hate couznage , once intitled olde , because the title shewes it often tolde , and so affoords no lucre ; not because it fauours athisme and corruption drawes . why doe i taxe , why doe i trouble men , or why with noted crimes defile my pen ? the most notorious cowards will betray themselues , and follyes , though i turne away . yes ( which is worth my laughter ) they accuse their closest feares , euen while they doe refuse to let you vnderstand their subtile drifts . they doe discover such avoyding shifts , that you may thence collect some fearfull trick : they studie to appeare so politicke . as , fellons brought before a iustice , each hopes to be sau'd , if others he impeach : and as some indians dealt , being all amaz'd to heare the spanish guns and forces blaz'd ; they bought their safety through a fine deceit : for knowing gold to be the spanish baite , they would protest , that fifty leagues beyond was common plenty of that yellow sand , meaning to turne the fooles another way . and so deale vicious persons : they betray anothers folly , to preserue their owne : obserue , & you shall gather things well knowne . go tell a church-man he hath lost his voyce , or aske him why he doth in strife reioyce : and he will answer ; lawyers do not speake so much to purpose , as the pulpits creake , although they do receiue fees double twice ; which far●…e exceed my single benefice . but you must thinke , diuines resolue on this , to blame-lawmen though nothing were amisse . go tell a scholler he relyes on chance , because he doth affect dull ignorance : and he the worst obiection soone auerts by telling how the times neglect deserts . go tell a maiestrate of morning bribes , and he , to shallow meanes , the same ascribes : but then demand of honour why she failes , in giuing that which euery way auailes to nourish her beloued sonnes ? and she will answere , they profuse , insatiate be . aske shifting russians why they do forget , to hasten payment and discharge their debt , or why they doe sufficient men dislike ? and they will answere , great-ones do the like . go tell a gameller he hath cheated long , or vnto many offred shamefull wrong , and he will answere that himselfe before was often cheated twentie times and more . go aske a drunkard why he followes wine , abuses god , or giues a heathen signe ; and he will quickly answere thy demand , the parson was so drunke he could not stand . go tell a hot-spurre he hath kil'd a man , go aske him how he doth the terrour scan : and he will answere ; a phisitian's free to murther twenty millions ; why not hee ? go tell a fawning wretch he doth relye vpon the slauish vice of flattery : and he will answere . that the best are glad to sollow such indeuours , or as bad . go tell a whore she doth her sexe polute by being such a common prostitute : and she will answere in defence of fame , citizens wiues , and ladies do the same . go tell a trades-man he deceiues the day , refusing light , deluding euery way : and he will answere to auoyd thy curse , go further on , you will be cheated worse . thus cowards all ( not daring to defend the diuers follies which they dare intend ) confesse themselues , and others do elect vices , which none but diuels dare protect . when i pronounce a coward , it implies , malice and spight be cowards qualities : they are inseperate ; and why ? because a vicious coward so exactly knowes himselfe vnable , that he doth decree to haue consorts as impotent as hee : because he may a●…oyd the mighty shocke of mens contempt , rank'd with a greater flocke : whereas perhaps if he were left alone , his basenes onely would be look'd vpon . and therefore it is made the next reply ; others be wicked men as well as i. but harke you sir ( saith one ) you haue forgot , to brand our females with a cowards lot . they be a proper subiect : do not spare them and their couert dealing to declare : they be attyred with inuentiue doubts , and haue as many feares as they haue thoughts : they labour daily , yet they doe suspect , they cannot halfe a hansome face erect : they paint , they powder , they with toyes exceed alas ! they dare not shew themselues indeede . night they doe honour : then they do obtaine that which perhaps the day cals backe againe : they doe intice their husbands to beleiue any thing ( then ) and any thing to giue : they doe intreate , when husbands scarce reply but with a purpose nothing to deny : they nor without aduantage do contend ; nor any cowards odds doe discommend . well , well : admit they do abound with feare , females for nothing else created were . they need not of their weakenesse be asham'd ; when wee should blush to heare the folly nam'd . so , so : but you reproue impediment , and tell vs what the crafty times inuent , as if authority forgat his whip : you may be silent , and surcease to nip : let sage authority proceed by course of law , to punish these without remorse . then you must bid authority respect thinges not accounted euill ; or neglect to punish friend-lesse fee-lesse infamies : and taxe braue mischiefe with seuerer eyes . nay that will neuer be ; for tell the base , and poore offender ( who feeles no disgrace ) he hath offended ; and he dares reply , he tooke his patterne from authority . so shifting be the simple idiots , so shifting base be higher patriots : and must be euer till they do reueale feare to commit , not study to conceale . essay the fourth entituled reproofe . or a defence for common law & lawyers mixt with reproofe against the lawyers common enemy . essay . iiii. my labour i renew : but hauing seene , how ill dispos'd my former truth hath been i grow a little wiser ; and agree to make an essay proue an ironie . then what profession shall i now disgrace ? reproofe is thought to haue no better face then impudence or malice ; and is thought to be a scandall by corruption wrought . t is true a thriuing knowledge hath by some who lack'd such happy wit , been thought a scum ; and , vnder shadow of reproofe , hath beene made an extreame derision to be seene : nay made a publike iniury , to please them , who should punish the contempt ; & squease that shamefull enuy , till it doth remaine , as empty as the rugged authors braine , alas i am too modest and obscure : i shew in darke reproofe what is impure ; and therfore haue beene blamed : but i will now speake with an open zeale ; and disauow the mincing tearmes of caution : if i faile to speake my meaning , let me nere preuaile to speake a righteous thought : and if i misse opinion of a tempered zeale in this , i shall account it glory ; for the thing , needs such a poets vehemence to sing her hat●…d trophe●…es , that will neither care to purchase hate ; nor will his knowledge spare : nay such a poet that will be most glad , in her defence to be accounted mad . in her ? in whose defence ? thine ( sacred law ) thine , whose prouoking ●…arity doth draw my soule vnto thy rescue . thou hast made way through the bloudy and victo●…ious blade of danes and normans , to maintaine thy right : and hast preseru'd thine honour in despight of time and conquest : like religion , thou hast among persecutions gotten through : and when preuailing rage of swor●… and lance threatned thy titles , 〈◊〉 didst 〈◊〉 aduance : nay ( which is miracle ) thy 〈◊〉 haue enforc'd the cruell 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 and thinke them precious . all 〈◊〉 warre which doth not learning and men learned spare , had not the power to demolish thee : nor time , to which the greatest 〈◊〉 be condemned 〈◊〉 : 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , that almost doth all 〈◊〉 arts 〈◊〉 ; nor nice opinion , that doth oft supplant the holy truth , and make the best recant : these ( which haue ruin'd others ) did increase thy natiue glory , and augment thy peace . when strict inuasion ouercame the land ; thou hadst the grace , within thee to command nay to intice the flinty conqueror : he who had strong sufficience to abhorre thy bliss-full knowledge , he was well content to loue thee and obey thy regiment . can it be said a stranger did embrace thine infant worth ; and shall thine aged face be now forgotten ; and derided then by those who call themselues thy country-men ? it is : and vndergoes the shamefull mocke of them who haue ●…onsum'd their idle stocke of witty iesting : it is now the way to keepe a writers credit from decay ; if he can foyst into his fly-blowne stuffe some twenty law-tearmes ; he hath wit enough : the very basest wretch ( who cannot lay matter in two yeares for a ragged play ) will taxe the law with errors most vntrue , and teach the folli●…s which it neuer knew . poore sneaking fellowes who be discontent with euery fashion , art , and argument ( which doth not magnifie their witlesse rimes ) produce the law to proue our wicked times . then ( dearest cambridge , best in my respect ) be these examples fitting to direct thy ripe inuentions ? and to tutor thee who art , if well awak'd , most fit and free to tutor all the world ? is plenties date so much exspir'd that thou must imitate ? what prodigall and riotous expence hath turn'd thee bankroupt ? is thy nobler sence now punish'd for mispending former cost ? or be thy riches by aduenture lost ? hast thou not carefull been to multiply thy precious wealth ? or did the parties dye , or else run mad , on whom thou hast disposd thy honour'd portions ? is thy wealth inclosd where none but worthy men may it behold ? or be thy worthy poets cheapely sold as bondslaues to detraction ? or what then ? hath thy good nature trusted many men and doe they all forget to pay thee now ? some haue enough to spend ; but care not how : and so perhaps thy poets : haue they so ? good poets write whether they will or no and worthily : why therfore do●… not they ? dost thou or nature curse them with delay ? or doth thy bounty turne to poysoned gall ? else art thou growne so couetous withall that thou canst nothing spare but mouldy sauce to welcome and deserue the kings applause ? i wrong thee cambridge with my strict demand : thou keepst those wits within thy plenteous hand who can establish works with easie choise , worthy to be commended by the voice of god and angels : but it hath been tolde ; sound wits are modest ; shallow-braines are bold : and therefore did the law-tearme poet weene , to please a publike eare with priuate spleene . now o the pitty ! that a misconceite o●… some , should all the law and lawyers baite . content your selfe saith ignoramus , i taxe not the law , but lawyers vanity : nor do i taxe good lawyers , but the ranke of those who purchase wealth , and yet are blank ▪ content thy selfe slight ignoramus , i am well acquainted with your pollicy : you in the fencers trick are deeply read ; and off●…ing at the foot you meane the head . as doth a rebell who hath taken armes : he promises to helpe his countries harmes , but hath a meaning to supprise the towne , and make the totall regiment his owne : such was thy meaning ; to disgrace the law vnder a colour'd trick ; and wisely draw that honour to yourselues which followes them . but shall i taxe your meanings , and condemne inuisible designements ? you proclaime your meanings in each tauerne : will you blame those that beleiue you when you do reioyce that lawyers be offended with your noise ? trust me , atender mercy doth inforce me to compassion and a silent course , when any crime , that doth deserue the scourge , is too much tortur'd : i had rather vrge defence for folly , then reproofe ▪ when all insult vpon it ; and so much miscall an easie error , that it gathers strength . i feele me thinkes a happy scorne at length to adde my curses to the vulgar curse , in the most hatefull mischiefe : it is worse to ouer-punish crimes then to commit . i doe abhor to exercise my wi●…t on a most troden theame : and doe account a sleepy caue better then such a mount . me thinks 't is noble and most humane too ; if i forbeare when i might freely doo . and could that spa●…ke of goodnes be in you so much forgotten ; that you durst allow the broad contempt of them , whose happines , all common enuy labours to make lesse ? did it seeme honest , politicke , or wise , humane , or vertuous to you , to deuise so bad a proiect ? and to multiply the times detraction with an open lye ? what will you answer ? what will you compose able to make defence in vearse or p●…ose ? ' troth you had best in some new ballad sing your lib●…ll was bespoken by the king. for no euasion can your wisedome spare ; except the foolish one ; i doe not care . but ignoramus may conceiue that i am ouer-ea●…nest now ; and may reply , things are as they be taken ; and indeed things oft be taken worser then they need : but you and your additions doe expound your hearty tryumphes vnto malice bound : seeking ( as if you had forsworne the law of reason and of reuerence ) to misdrawe that ornament of men ; and to annoy the chiefest iustice and the chiefest ioy that our law doth acknowledge : were it so as the report already seemes to know ; you should affixe vnto your tainted place , eternity of shame and of disgrace . schollers ( you say ) haue found thēselues agrieu'd ▪ was this the fittest way to be relieu'd ? perhaps you doe account it as your griefe because the iudge hath spar'd som scholler theefe ; and so his mercy hath corrupted more : this might excuse , and get amends , before such bold inuectiues : but you doe prolong your strife ; & say your suites haue sufferd wrong . so so : i●…patient arrogance will finde the way to quarrell when her eyes be blinde . for though men conquer a malicious hart and giue no causes to complaine of smart : nay , turne her quickest sences into steele t●…at ( though a cause were giuen ) she might not feele , yet , would she ( rather then be mute ) suggest causes of quarrell out of sleepy rest . nay , 't is a schollers vice and veniall pride to thinke his owne conceit the surer side : if therefore he dislike the lawes intent , we may neglect his tales with merriment ; and pardon what he saith : for euery youth in cambridge s●…emes to vnderstand the truth of logick and philosophy so plaine ; that o●…her truth he holdes in much disdaine : or he bel●…iues the colledges know all , and onely truth approues which they so call . and hearing them dislike the lawyers brood when suites decline , or cases be not good ; he lookes no further then the grudging fame : and is not ready to discerne , but blame . nay rather all become so valiant that they abhorre to be thought ignorant of any truth in law ; because our ile hath call'd it common ; and makes iohn a stile the rustick worde so frequent in our bookes : and therfore with contempt each scholler looks vpon the weighty meanings ; whose pure light hath iron gates to stop their scornfull sight . though they presume their ●…ight can reach the and therfore they proceed in simple iarrs : and then exclaime vpon the lawyers sence starrs : when they doe loose through idle confidence . nay , nay , we need not mar●…el though they blame the lawes proceedings when they loose their game : for though they win & suffer no disgrace , their best opinion of the law is base . but it is possible a poets witt should be so flesh'd in mischiefe to commit rape with an * aged matror ; & despoile her honor'd grauity with impious toile , except his former sinnes haue taught before the way to gett some bastard by a whoore ? i cannot thinke it possible , nor may , till proofe conuert 〈◊〉 thoughts another way : he seemes ( like one in reputation crost ) by desperate meanes to purchase what he lost . perhaps the fabulist can tell vs why this writer took●… a 〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉 : and as the chariot-driuer ask'd his wheele wherfore it creak'd ? which answered ; i do feele the want of that , which stopps a creaking voice : so the lowde ignoramus may reioyce to learne this answer ; and protest with it , he tooke meere sound because he wanted wi●…t : but come thou long-nail'd comick , who dost claw and can●…t not 〈◊〉 the substance of our law ; ( for busie fooles may * blot but cannot sinke through solid stuffe with aqua fortis 〈◊〉 ) let ●…s a while examine your delight and search the wo●…ds where you most deeply bite you bring a large confused heape of noyse , 〈◊〉 , writs , and vocall empty toyes , to proue the lawes discredit ; then you ioyne a lawyers hearty loue to yellow coyne ; and then you snarle against our simple french as if you had beene pepperd wi●…h your wench : and then right harmeles dulman doth inchant the scaene ; with teaching latine how to cant. o most rare subiect and bewitching scaene●… able to make the fattest hearer leane ; if he would truly thinke how little paines do●…h fasten credit vpon lucky s●…raines , when full deseruings proue infortunate : and neither purchase fame , in loue , nor hate . what though a lawyer doth expect his fee ? doth not a lawyer , that same angell see tempting diuines to flatter and belie the dead , which tempted him to falsifie the liuing truth ? resolue me , which of both approches neerest to a ●…ewd vntroth ? i thinke it wo●…ser to commit the sinne that shall not be rebuk'd , and which will winne strength , because vncontrold ; then to protect an error which the court will contradict . and if you talke of learning , they alone can yeeld vs twenty dunces backe for one . then was the lyon wise , which grauely said , asses may blowe the trumpet in our ayde . but you procure the king to laugh enough , i darde not say to like such thredbare stuffe : for he that scornes our common lawe in rage because the tearmes are ouer growne with age may scorn the wrincles which haue smoo-her beene and loue a strumpet with her painted skin . or he may mocke his mothers countenance ; when it growes witherd by continuance : law is the kingdomes mother : she by light : conceiues , and is deliured of mens right : and all her phrases which be * wrincled now . once had a youthfull and a louely brow . but is it lawfull to embase the true and auncient l●…tine , with deuises new ? embase we doe not , but enlarge we may ; where words approu'd wil not our sence conuey . come , come : although you will not vnderstand you shall be taught to grace your natiue land ; with yeelding loue ▪ and honour to defend your countries credit ; which the lawes intend . rich natures worke most absolute and wise doth giue the liberty which you despise : you may obserue how in this earthly globe , she cloathes each creature with a suiting robe : the quiet lambe she doth adorne with wooll and makes the parot fine , a beautious gull : but because strength and durance are within , she cloathes the lyon with a rugged skin : and such an outside doth become the part of a preuailing , and perpetuall art : an art which hath no meaning to respect a mighty person , and the poore neglect : an art which in her habit rude , and plaine , disclaimes to be prouok'd with loue or gaine : and with such art is englands * mother blest , being in all her liuely habit drest : therefore i thinke it wisdome to adorne the law with out-side which may merit scorne : that like a wealthie farmer clad in * frise , she may preserue her treasure in disguise : for being like a glorious dame arraid ; her tempting beauties then were all betraid to multitude of * suiters ; and her loue would more then infinite contentions moue : looke on that foolish thing which many call a beauteous woman ; and behold how all spend their deuotions ▪ sacrifice their braine , engage their liues and credit to maintaine that mappe of coulors : euery man may see her suiters ( though but two ) will disagree about her loue ; nay striuing to be blest each will presume he hath more interest : and will the simplest wretch conceiue that shee , i meane our law and makers dignitie ; she our almighties minion , can display her quicke transparance , and not steale away mens deere affections ? or can she remoue her vaile ; and will not her attracting loue prouoke the wisest men to quarrell ? yes : loue a conceit and firme opinion is ; and knowledge doth beget amasing doubts : t●…en loue with knowledge doth inspire the thoghts to chuse opiniō : knowledge being wide can both maintaine opinion and diuide : so then contentions follow : such would bee the force of law , if euery man could see . admit , she were adornd with costly phrase ; admit all nations did her merits blaze ; and that the sweetest beautie she can take , would neither do●…age nor dissention make ; yet hauing many suiters , she must minde the due respect of all , or proue vnkinde : which would exceed her large , ( but aequal ) dowre if she were courted by more courts then foure . why then be some licentious church-men vext ? why be they suffred to abuse their text ; and make the gospell speake against our law ? when as the text ( which they enforce to gnaw vpon a lawyers credit ) doth concerne their owne reproach ; if they could well discerne . o listen you that haue but common sence and marke with what iniurious violence they doe compell the scripture : i haue knowne cynnicks , to such a spightfull blindnes growne , that , on the silly wordes of balaams asse , they would inferre what slaue a lawyer was . the forraine p●…pist is , against our will , beholding to our law , and must be still : for we and our proceedings vndergoe a fury which the pope and rome should know : the witty students doe endeauour thus , with squibbes and crackers against onely vs , in such abundance ; that their wits be spent e're they confute a popish argument . i cannot guesse what fatall curse incites their fluent enuy , which ( in triumph ) bites : but well assur'd i am , that onely they whose liues , their guilty meaning , doe betray despise a lawyer : when the best diuines scorne to be noted by such daring signes . but others seeme as if their hungry mawes were cramm'd with all corruption of our lawes : and that in chusing of a text , they meane to purge their guts , & make their stomacks clean : ●…or any scriptures peece , like hellebore rumbles within them , and doth bring vp store of cholericke vomit in the lawyers face : whilst i lament their high and sacred place ; and maruaile why the circle cannot charm●… that frantick method ; but be made a farme to sowe and nourish byting nettle seed or slips of 〈◊〉 : rather it indeed is growne the charmed fortresse , to condemne : but cannot iustifie their zeale , nor them . for most of all their vehemence depends , on earthly zeale , and prostituted ends : either they seeke to please themselues and men ; or to displease their enemie ; or then to credit their owne colledge ; or withall to be accounted sharpe and cynicall ; or to be great ; or to discharge their name and place least they incurre a publike shame . the worthy men , whom no such end attaints , shall , if they come to me , become my saints . but god forbid their ends should harden vs , to blame the truth , or proue inc●…edulous : we shall a powerfull doctrine best obey , not thinking why but what they doe display : yet i doe wish them as a slander by , henceforth to learne aright both what and why : least seeming zealous , you doe make withall god as a shadow to your secret gall . it is a thing so common to traduce the lawyer , and besprinckle bitter iuyce ; that i ( before some preacher doth begin ) dare lay a wager , he will raile and win : for i haue often heard such fuming stuffe presented to an audience all in snuffe , that ( trust me ) i haue wondred in my minde , whether he spake before , o●… spake behinde : and so the parson spake ( vnlesse i faile ) who preach'd of tobyes dog , that wagd his tail●… . what ? shall the sacred learning which aff●…ights , and coniures down the most inhumane sprights , be so distracted , with a sudden curse , that it must raise vp spirits , and much worse , and yet from thence proceed things often good , as from the fountaine of most heauenly food : for scorne it selfe and enuy must confesse that many , there excell in worthinesse : if passi●…n sometimes did not zeale condemne , we should account them gods , & worship them . but some in earnest folly ouer proud , most voide of matter , will thus talke aloud : o the most gryping lawyer who doth make dissention vpon earth ; and mony ta●…e on this side , and on that side , a●…d doth loue his gold and money , and dissention ; moue : is not the lawyers wicked , then i say ? and very wicked brethren ? and i pray is it not , shamefull brethren ? fye for shame that lawyers should loue money 〈◊〉 and enfl●…me their hearts with loue of siluer , and so leaue goodnes to turne a lawyer and deceiue ; and then like couetous lawyers — thus he lay out-lawd in breath and knew not what to say . let me demand your purpose : doe you meane to cleanse a dish with dish-clouts more vnclean ? resolue me ( poets ) you that doe bestow , the most abusiue scorne which man dares know , vpon the lawes profession : you that take a patterne by damnations rule to make the lawyer seeme more hatefull ; and beleeue hate merits heauen , which may y● lawyer grieue . i pray resolue me ( poets ) doe you meane , to make that rampant and immodest queane your muse , the lawyers mistres ? and repaire a place infected with vnwholsome ayre ? what ? doth a patient blame physitians skill , because th' apothecary wrongs his bill ? you blame the lawyers gaine , and will not see how offices consume the greater see , for as a pothecaties bills depend on the physitian to surcharge his friend ; so , to surcharge the clyent , offices depend vpon a lawyers busines . resolue me you diuines , whose earnest hate to lawyers , makes you practise a d●…bote , whilst you * declaime against the very sinn●… : i pray resolue me , who hath euer beene so fruitles in extreame reproofe as you ? or after long inu●…ctiues who did kn●…w so small detraction of the common 〈◊〉 ? what ? doe you purpose to amend ou●… life with bitter malice ? can r●…uiling 〈◊〉 make lawyers quiet ? o you do amaze my little braine with wonder : you may please to see how furious windes do moue the seas and make the ocean roare ; when gentle gales adde a faire swiftnes to the marchants sailes : and so doth clamorous rayling worke mens rage when milde reproofe might quicken vertues age . but you , as many doctors do , or , can , seeming to heale the vice , abhorre the man. you doe pretend with phisicke rules to cure the lawes diseases ; which might well indure a potion , ( i confesse ) for you that vrge might well endure a potion , and a purge : b●…t you pretending wisely to display the 〈◊〉 of lawyers cannot 〈◊〉 the way : you know the perfect method to displease ; but neither constitution , nor disease . you thinke a sanguine body , cholericke ; and so your potion makes the lawyer sicke : lawyers be sanguine , liuely , firme and free : no maruaile then your medcines disagree : for god himselfe may this full truth dispearce ; medcines make sound men froward and peruerse . admit ( which euery honest man will say ) that lawyers do , as all professions , lay some part of meaning to increase their state : and do deserue your phisicke , not your hate : is therefore the disease so violent or they so crazy , that with one consent you must apply quicke medcines all the yeere ? the spring & autumne be fit times to cleere a fowle grosse body : then are they so foule that all times must the lawyers art controule ? small phisick knowledge may perswade you thus that things which grow familiar with vs can haue no mightie uertue to preuaile : though taken seldome , they do neuer faile . for neither poyson'd sops , nor opiates can , releiue , or trouble an accustom'd man. nor can reproofe , enforc'd with daily care , make vitious people better then they are . you do pretend our health when you reproue ; and we must thanke you for your holy loue : but will a pained sick-man safely trust the phisicall aduice of him , who must inherit , when the patient is dead ? you churchmen know , ( and cannot be misled ) that you may claime by gift the next estate if our lawes body did giue way to fate . and therefore all the world may well suspect your phisicke sauours of a strange effect . but all your subtile nips and priuie querks doe proue such poore and vn-preuailing ye●…ks , that you prouided haue a mastife dogge ; who runs about because he wants his clogge : but ( thanks to wis●…dome and our bodies might ) the toothles roaring curre can hardly bite : i meane your mastiffe ignoramus now , who tooke his valors breath from only you : and yet that e●…gin of authority , ( which makes the lesser fabricke stop and fly ) might rather be propounded : for conceite and all vpon her lawles pleasure waite . the world appeares most like a puppet-play , wherein the motions , walke , performe and say , nothing but what the master will aduance ; though euery tricke proclaimes dull ignorance . thus greatnes doth preuaile : what remedie ? yes , honour'd lawyers ( whom neglected i may freely place among the soundest men ) be still vndaunted in your worth and then their pittied clamorous malice wil proue hoarce and dumbe ; while you preferre an honest course . vapors be rais'd and exhalations flye when the most seruent sunne appeares in skye : summer and heauenly sun-shine do prouoke ; the noysome fennes to yeeld an vgly smoake . which vpward mounts , but cannot touch the sun although it should aboue the compasse runne : so lawyers glory ( which deseruing paines , knowledge and study haue enrich'd with gaines ) doth moue the sordid breath of baser wits ( as doth the sun preuaile in muddy pits ) to yeeld a stinking vapor , not defile lawyers with madnes , and reuenge more vile . but as the sunne doth readily consume and turne to nothing , the poore vap●…ous fume ; so shall the lawyers bright and purer flame of good example , turne contempt to shame . meane time ( right lawyers ) whom opinion rude h●…th rank'd among the baser multitude ; with admiration i salute your peace , which hath been calme & patient ; while the seas with boystrous fury did assaie to drowne your dearest hopes , and pull your trophys down my riper knowledge and experience of your most often torturd innocence so troubles me , that i in serious sort , could wisely now forsweare to trust report : my thoughts are all to narrow to disclose your manly suffering ; which doth interpose the vildest sharpe reproofe that may be borne : and so confutes them with a noble scorne . o i doe feele a heart aboue my power to saue your merits from the fatall shower of their detracting spight , and to disclowd your vertues lost in the confused crowd of headstrong rumor ; which your foes inuent to nourish their detracting argument . this only comforr i will now propound ; giue loosers leaue to speake : which is the ground of all our foes abusiue speech : for they hauing lost manners and discretion may speake boldly and be blameles though they raile but may their spight increase and matter faile . now care and dulnes do my verse bereaue : and so sweet poetry i take my leaue . my greatest follies are already past ; and after noone i shall haue breath'd my last . of high birth . essay . v. things curiously created , differ as much from thinges begotten , as the first man from birth , and artificiall bodies from mans issue . children therefore may challenge ftom their parents more prerogatiue , then workemanship or mans inuention ; for it participates with vs in being onely , but they in being ours : for thinges begotten be originally our owne , but things created be ours at the second hand continually : else man were two waies excellent , and able to create , as well as to beget , without patterne or example : but onely our issue is our owne absolute ; for man , secluded from the company of men , is by the help of nature fit ( of himselfe ) for infinite generation , though nothing else : whereas truely in matters of science and manuall labour , man , without the helpe of man , doth nothing . so ignorant hee is , and chiefly bound vnto imitation , as hee neuer did nor will , produce that , which depends not on some president : which argues the full necessity of being sociable , and mightily condemns these currish people , who thinke it all-sufficient , if they can once assume the pride , to say , they are not any way indebted ; or that they bee their owne supporters : and thinke it the safest friendship to forget humanity ; neglect acquaintance ; make loue an outward ceremony ; nay scarce so much : and neuer bee offended with a curse so much , as when they must haue mans assistance to restore them . these are vnmindefull why man doth multeply ; why lawfull marriage was inuented : or why god , tkinking it not enough to worke a vnion with hvmanity by the bond of natvre , did also extend affinitie to those of another stocke ; that incest might bee vnacted ; and by the consequent , that man should not engrosse onely the loue of his owne familie ; but seeke loue among other people that hee might learne more knowledge . man therfore thus enabled to produce ; it followes by implication that amongst posterity , some one must haue precedence ; in which , sonnes ( by consent ) haue that immunity of eldest : and hee , according to vsuall speech , is called the heire apparant : which is a name so largely taken , as ( with it ) wee imply any one able to inherit , though not the eldest . but properly it extends to the first begotten , who ( in being first ) supplies the office of a substitute ro discharge that which incumbers the parent ; the office of a valiant warriour likewise , who couets by being first , to take the first charge , giue the first assault , and ( aboue all ) to bee according to his name , truely forward in the high archieuements of honour : so forward , as for any of his ranke to bee before , should bee reputed a miserable basenesse . it is an obserued point of nature ( among the ancients ) that elephants , whē they passe a riuer , knowing by peculiar instinct that their aduersaries ( for the most part ) incoūter them in the rereward , they marshall themselues that the eldest may bee first ready to sustaine the violence : which giues a memorable precept to mans issue , that hee ( if eldest ) ought rather to protect , then to exceede his inferiour kinsfolke ; that , they ( because youngest ) ought rather to submit , where his good counsell may assist , then be malignāt or maintaine faction . this theater of mans life , admits degrees of height , in which the eldest is aboue the others ; and therfore as the centinell , or scout ( in atmies ) is vigilant to foresee aduantage , and so preserue by diligence when courage of the rest is little worth : so should superiours in birth bee as much prouident for the safety of those , in respect of whome they be superior , as to esteeme their birth-right a blessing . it is therefore no safe conclusion , to say hee is the eldest , and so most excellent ; bnt hee is the eldest , and therefore should bee most excellent : for in production of the soule it fares otherwise with a man , then with vnreasonable creatures ; among which there needes no better warrant to signifie courage , then the first breede , which signifies the strength of nature in the parents or breeders . but with man , ( who communicates with a beast onely in giuing outward shape ) it is sufficient for him to challenge in his issue what himselfe bestowes : as for the diuine materials of reason , if sometimes they doe heriditarily succeede to the sonne of a prudent father , wee may from hence conclude , that god more * often dispenses with it , to make man see the true originall , rather then flesh should challenge any part ; or fathers think they bee the sole efficients . for it is nowe made a common argument of the sonnes folly , if the father bee more then commonly wise . and i am very much perswaded , that this ( if nothing else ) may assure the polititian of some supreame disposer who giues warning to his presumption through the plague of a foolish heire ; that hee may ouer-value himselfe at his owne perill : seeing hee hath his owne workmanship before his eyes , to argue against him , and his arrogant couceit . bee it sufficient therfore that cunning nature , which principally and commonly workes out each naturall mans existence by causes well knowne , matter , for me , and * priuation , is not able in things essentiall , to distribute any parricle without diuine prouidence : so the eldest naturally inherites nothing as by peculiar claime , but sencelesse lineaments of body . howsoeuer , most conuenient it is , that euery one by birth ennobled , either by single priority , or priority vnited to noble parentage should seeke to accomplish the part of nature vndone in more then complement , ciuill silence , or common passages ; and make the birth absolute . for man , a sluggish creature , ( prompt enough to decline after satietie ) seemes naturally to be * vnfurnished , that hee might not be vnbusied . so nature hath left much imperfect , to intimate by the vacant absence of some things needfull , that mans labour should make things vsefull . nature affoords timber , but workmanship the structure : the earth produces ore , but art the siluer : nature giues plants , knowledge the vse : among all which she doth require a more ample and lesse supplement , according to the value , raritie or estimation of the thing . for chymicks knowe , the more pretious mettals aske more paines in extraction of the true quintessence , then baser minerals : gold is the seauenth time purified , & then becomes beautifull : besides the qualitie of things more pretious , ought still to bee made answerable to the things value . couragious horses bee managed with curiositie : delicate voyces bee selected to learne harmonies , whilst harsh and strong voyc'd cryers bee ridiculous . diamonds , not glasse , become pure mettall , and rich garments haue much costly appearance . high blouds likewise be the fittest receptacles for high actions ; but if a sackecloth bee embroydred , the adiunct may deserue honor , though the ground-worke be plebe●…an : and men of vp-start parentage may , in respect of braine , take place before nobilitie , though their persons bee odious . our selues and parents , or instructors , be the secondary causes which protract or abreuiate , enrich or impouerish , our owne destinies . for either wee are driuen with fatal obstinacie ; to ouer-take fortune through a selfe-will ; else , by the negligence of education , or being not season'd in minority , our stupid dulnesse giues fortune leaue to ouer take vs through want of prouidence . high birth is so farre from priuiledge to exempt any from these , as it approaches neere to miserie , when shame is vnpreuented ; & makes destinie notorious . i know no difference therefore betwixt the degrees of fortune , if birth alone makes the comparison . for which is more predomināt , if one of obscur●… fortune becomes publike by meritts , returning to his first ranke if he transgresse ; or if one descended nobly , doth but deserue himselfe , and family , through great engagemēts , being ready to descēd below himselfe if hee miscarry : and be as publike in disgrace , as vpstarts in applause ? for this age of innouation is fitter to behold one swimming to a remote shore , thē to consider how happily the inhabitants be there delighted : fitter i mean , to see new actions , & actiue spirits proceeding , then the maintenance of honor proceeded : and fitter to behold one falling from a rock , then from a stumbling mole hill . so that if noble-men aduanced , cōti●…ue so ; & ambitious ge●…try , nay or basenesse , do aspire and thriue , i see no difference : if ruine thre●…tens both , the last transcends in outward happinesse . the best similitude which makes diuersity , reaches but thus farre : i see an embroydred empty purse , and stoope to view it narrowly , because the outside glisters : i spurne a greasie 〈◊〉 before me , and heare the sound of siluer : i take both , keepe both , and will esteem the coyne aboue the empty purse , and yet preferre the outsides a lone not both alike ; because the one is capable and beautious already , the other doth containe already , but can ●…euer be beauteous : no more then vpstarts , though renowned in meritts , can euer t●…ke nobility of birth : beause it will demand successio●… to con●…irme antiquity . so that enobled fortunes ( being an outward beauty ) shal but make me more willing ( as an embroydred purse●… to see their in-sides ; not to enlarge their value : when as perhaps one basely obscure , shall more purchase my reuerence , though lesse attract my labor to discouer him . as for the chiefe ornaments which qualifie great parentage , they should bee such a●… make most in the aduancement of a common wealth : which be the maintenance of publike lawes and iustice ; they being the honor of a common-wealth . and well doth it 〈◊〉 that highnes makes lawes florish . for seeing lawes receiue their liues from the concordance of nobility ; it must ( by good coniecture ) follow , that strength of law ( which is a iust proceeding ) would , through the coūtenance of nobility , receiue more credit & reuerence . but oftentimes aduancement is so ill bestowed , that eitherit makes mens disposition worse ; or nothing better . as wee read of meates dressd among the african kings , ( and namely by mulleasses king of algier , ) which meates were made infinite costly with perfumes , but neither toothsome nor wholsome : and such perfumed peacocks , be worthles men dignified . though sometimes the visible dignity of persons , doth attract sluggish or obstinate beholders with vnanimity or terror . thus ignorant men ( vnacquainted with our state of ques●…ion ) will often wish within themselues , that a dunce or coward may preuaile before the combate , because they incline more to the reputation of his posture , fame , or person , then to his fellowes : which loue doth ( notwithstanding ) sometimes vanish into feare , adoration , or a reverend conceit . the very name of crumwell was able to disseuer insurrections ; so much was hee credited with an opinion of sincere grauitie . and it may almost seeme a positiue truth , that noble and heroycall spirits are at the first sight trusted with mens best opinions : it is needfull therefore that the merits of a noble birth , should be rewarded sooner , ( though they be lesse worthy ) then of a new proficient ▪ because greatnes claimes dutie to their persons as well as to their merits . but there is nothing more allied to faction then for a greatbegotten to preuaile in gouernement before his time ; or to attaine the greatest ●…ignities before he knowes their meaning . such vndeserued honours are of appi●…n noted with a mutinous badge , & a contempt of publike orders : ( for saith he ) when s●…lla was dictator , he confirmed this law to strengthen his diuision , that those who did in his desence partake with him , should be entitled to the state and dignities before their time . to bee a man generally famous , doth oftentimes dispense with comelinesse of personage , and purchaseth full applauded successe in euery dispatch vnder the pattent , of hauing beene generally commended . that many ▪ fold * historian hath ob●… a profitable way which maketh the sonnes of honour famous . 〈◊〉 literarum monum●…nta , ad●…uta militaris 〈◊〉 , aucta senatorum 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 illus●…rem 〈◊〉 . to beautifie and enrich learning , to nou●…ish and help warsknowledge , to multiply and to aduance the power of magistrates , haue made an vpstart ( much more the sonnes of honour ) famous . but if popular fam●… bee not gracious , then ornaments of body , comlinesse , and behauiour , must be concomitant with high-birth to relish their imployments and beget opinion . for single birth , without additions , is no generall to command an armie , or to 〈◊〉 with multitudes : which ( in order of reason ) should be a noble and generous intention because birth is sooner capable of respect only , then base agents . by this caution therefore did the noblest romans apply themselues to take the patronage of plebeians ; accounting it the most honourable entrance , to imploy their efficacie of birth , by the protection of poore clients , or otherwise illiterate citizens : the frequencie of which custome made nobilitie famous . high-birth is reasonably to be commended if it can escape dishonor , though it come short of honor : if it be made no licence for oppression ; althogh it scantly doth releeue oppression . but vices in any kinde fastening vpon authoritie , and great persons be most dangerous : for though they be perswaded to forsake them ; yet certaine sinkes and gutters , ( as in great citties ) be still waiting vpon bloods of honour : followers i meane , who be ready to weare the lord and masters vices for a speciall cognisance or fauour : and so conuey absurdities and humors oftentimes downe from the head into the feete and body . it is an excellent signe of mans participation with diuinitie , to discerne and iudge of nature . this therefore should be the singular part of instruction among noble pupils , and all that would become proficents , to rectifie , allay , and augment nature : which cannot bee by a restraint , but by giuing free libertie to enioy all , that so the worst may bee remoued : for when we say , natura currit , wee must conceiue , nature hath tasted : for ignoti nulla cupido . and by the consequent , whilst wee dote vpon things absent , our inclination is discouered . from hence therefore did ●…hrma know 〈◊〉 lou●…d the image of his satyre , because when hee heard his house was burnt , he asked onely if the sa●…yre were safe : so when wee haue once enioyed , and now lacke our custome , desire will bee manifest . it is not therefore wisdome to correct the natures of any , much lesse of noble ones , by keeping them in covert from the worlds e●…e , vnlesse they bee appoynted for a monasterie for that which wee cannot d●…e , because we know not , wee dare doe freely when wee are acquainted . but nature beeing discouered , by hauing once enioyed , yeares will then easily admit a contrarietie . and as wormewood , rubbed vpon the nipple of a nurses teate , 〈◊〉 the ●…hilde ; so thy detestation , or continuall inuectiue against that vice which thou wouldst abolish in another , makes it vnsauory , sooner then rage or violenc●… . for th●…se be able to make him , not abandon the vice , because he abhorres thee ; and in despight will keepe it , 〈◊〉 eye seruice : whereas 〈◊〉 being ●…ared for its owne sake , ( 〈◊〉 is deforme●… ) th●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of this 〈◊〉 may bee still beloued . vicious men may , without question , bee entertained by princes , and giue much morallitie : prouided alwayes , that apprehensiue natures be neere hand , to make applications . for then as an apes heart ( it selfe being a most timorous creature ) being well applyed , be●… courage in the patient : so cowards , epicures , and blasphemous persons , may ( by good compositions ) produce valiancie , abstinence , and humilitie in princes : but poysons bee a dangerous phisicke , without skilfull professors . it is the happines of some natures to need lesse instruction : and amongst all instructions we must be guided by the natures aptnes some being prouokd most by reading , some by perswasion , some by reproofe , others by company . as in a fence-schoole , some profit by resolution wholy , some by rules , some by disdaine to be offended , some by seeing others . indeed the study to discerne nature in noble persons , should bee equiualent to their owne disquisition of nature in others ; for seeing they ought by superintendence to ouerlooke man , they should be perfect in the character of man : bearing their best librarie about them . but vices punishable in a priuate man , may haue a little tolleration in great persons ; because he ( hauing no such temptations ) hath aduantage in obseruing a strict honest course : it being the neere temtation of bad dealing in euery man , and most especially in great ones to haue a power to commit and to conceale a mischiefe : they may commit much : it will not be denied : and if their wisdomes 〈◊〉 , they may conceale more thē others : the chiefest meanes they haue to conceale , is to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 against the crime they honour : by which means , * seruius sulpitius tribune of the people hauing framed a law that none among the senators should run in debt aboue a thousand drachmaes , thought it a safe licence for himselfe to exceed the quantitie : and therfore was he found in debt , after his death , aboue three hundred myriads ; amounting to three hundred times ten thousand drachmaes . the totall dutie of men greatly-noble is by the laconian * prince deliuered in two precepts ; the knowle●…ge to command the knowledge to submit . they should represent the lyon , who is noted ( aboue all ) to carry a most valiant head , and a maiesticke countenance : imita●…ing the apparant and inuisible potencie of high spirits . besides ( that i may continue this mythologie ) the ●…ecke of a lyon hath no ioynts ; whereby he cannot looke backwards , vnlesse hee turnes his body : neither can princes , without scandall to their integrity , seem one thing , and doe another ; not turne there faces vpon vertue , and yet be fugitiue in their motion . the backe of lyons carries a magnanimous bredth : and all the noble deedes of ancestors , historicall examples of monarchs , with infinite renowned precepts of former ages , make but one broad backe-president , to strengthen the wisedome of princes . the bones of a lyon haue lesse marrow then others ; for lasciuious fuell ●…iminisheth valour . the want ot pith there fore makes oke more durable then eldar ; and contempt of wantonnesse moues princes to a more settled resolution . lyons haue an exquisite propertie to smell out their owne aduantage : for it is reported , the male knowes when the lyonesse hath been adulterous with the panther , by a peculiar sence of smelling : and the wisest part of men worthily descended , is to betray their owne abuses ; for men of this ranck are incident to strong delusions . a lyon sleeps and yet his eies are open : so prouident high statesmen , that possesse much , cannot haue eyes too many , or too watchful : neither may absolute man incurre security . when lyons deuoure , famine doth inforce them ; and when kings take the sword , a zealous appetite , to satisfie forgotten vertue , should prouoke them . neither may generous natures bee nobly offended , except , as by an impulsiue , or sufficient cause , they ouercome ; so by a heroyicke scorne to malice , they can both swallowe and digest the cause with the conquest . howsoeuer it may bee fictitiously reported , that lyons haue ( by a miraculous feeling ) beene defensiue to condemned martyrs ; yet may the obseruatiō affoord thus much morality : that , as a true noble man may by no meanes receiue a more excellent moderation of spirit , and , spur , to greatly-good actions then by a religious feare ; so cannot this bee any way expressed better ( himselfe being so eminent ) then in protection of diuine iustice , & good mens causes . it is admirable ( if true ) to see how generously lyons haue scorned to be base debtors : insomuch that it is memorably reported ; how androcles a vagabond captiue , cured a lyons paw ; in gratification whereof , the lyon afterwards ( when androcles was among the romane spectacles to bee deuoured ) spares , and protects him against a rampant pardall : which carrieth a double precept for generous natures ▪ first , a preseruitiue against ingratitude , where followers haue beene seruiceable ; then a contempt to bee a slauish debtor ( if meanes can auoide it ) especially to base-minded trades men ; who vpon single debts inforce a double ingagement : both of credite and restitution : for if you remaine in their bookes for a commodity , you must remaine likewise in their fauour to auoide scandall , reiterations , and commemora tions among all societies . such is the cōmon treacherous b●…senes of their conditions , though they protest otherwise : which may exhort any noble minde to beleeue this maxime true ; hee hath discharged halfe his reputation among men , that scornes the cr●…dite of a cittizen , or indeede any man. another singular note is fi●…ed vpon this magnanimous beast aboue writtē ; his wrath extends no further then the prouocatiō . and therfore when the arabian souldier , charging a lyon with his speare , was disapointed of the obiect , and ouer-threw himselfe with violence ; the lyon returned , and onely nipping his head little ( for his presumption ) departed quietly . this being confirmed with many famous examples , i may inferre thus much . if it may seeme conuenient or honorable for nobility offended , to punish , not respecting penitent submissiō ( which may without high offences seem tyrannicall ) yet if the punishment exceed the crime , we may confidently accompt it beastial , and worse . againe it is notably remembred , that lyons neuer run away , except they can priuately withdrawe , ( being ouercome with multitude ) into a secure mountaine , or wildernes . and i obserue that it ill becoms a braue resolutiō , to enter himselfe among proiects , from which hee must necessarily recoyle , except he carries a cautelous eie , & true circumspection . lastly , i may conclude this moralized comparison with aesops controuersy betwixt a lyonesse and the fox : the fox cōmends her owne fruitfull generation , seeming to disgrace the lyons single birth : to which this answere doth reioyne : i bring forth one , and yet that one is a lyon : which good allusion may remoue the curse which some would cast vpon nobility , because often their children in nūber be inferiour to common prostitutes : but i am well resolued , that the multitude of children reares vp an obscure family , and bringes an ancient stocke to ruine : for among many base childrens blessings , birth may make variety of fortunes : but among much noble posterity , fortune doth challenge a more vaste partition ; and makes a discontented heire fit for all innouating purposes ; so that one noble remainder of much antiquity , or one true lyon of a family ( if art and nature can be made operatiue ) will be a more safe prop to succession , then the doubtfull variety of children . men obserue it as an infallible rule , that there haue been as many base originals , as there haue beene honorable descents . for , as questionlesse the largest ri uers bee deriued from lowely springs ; so birth and succession haue beene so basely intermingled , so casually interrupted so frequently impaired , and very often attainted ( though with absolution ) that i may well iustifie the first principle , and adde further : that generally , to maintain the noble estate of dead ancestors , requires as much true policy , as to erect a new family . for men may clime better by troublesome , rough , and dangerous passages , then stand tottering vpon the eminent spi●…e . but to exceed the patterne of heroicke ancestry , deserues perpetuall commendations . which purpose cannot prosper well , except they preuent or auoide oppositions : they hauing been the ouer-throw of kingdomes , and flourishing captaines ; because prosperity is waspish , and brooks no competition , nor almost assistance . the * historian therefore saith well : none more deafe to counsell then natures vnthwarted : none more obtemperate to bee counselled , then men destitute . as for that ambitious extasie , which makes men indirectly consult of new addition ; the fable doth condemne it wisely : for like esops dog , they snatch at shadowes , and loose the certainty , who dote vpon such couetous desires . ambition being like amilcars dreame : who at the seige of siracusa was by a dreame perswaded that hee should supp that night in siracusa : which hee interpreting on victories behalfe , would not remoue the seige : at length by an excursion hee was taken prisoner : which verified his dreame : for he did sup in siracusa but , as a captiue : ambition also makes men dreame they shall be safely guarded in their proiects : but they then little dreaming to be guarded otherwise thē princes : doe verifie their dreames by being safely guarded as prisoners . or ambition is like the phrigian riuer historified by fenestella : which water procured frenzy as desertlesse longing after glory begetts a sencelesse dotage . presumption also , and popularitie , be two treacherous cōfederates : the first was neuer good when a kings fauour was the obiect : so long as mines & countermines haue beene the court-deuises . the last will neuer be good : so long as people doe but conduct their fauorites to the scaffold , and cry alas , it is pitty : but who can helpe it ? the first cānot thriue , because offences with kinges out-weigh merits : thē how distracted a thing is it , to preserue aduācement ? security , destroyes men sleeping , while they deserue no punishment , but onely because no reward : and pollicy destroyes men waking : it doth consume our liues in iealousies and multitude of feares : which threaten the most pollitick & highly fauoured . popularity is likewise mortall , because it breeds a surfet of one dish : nothing but fame : serued in ( like turkish rice ) by infinite wayters . and shall wee wonder if it choakes him , when hee deuoures all ▪ besides , history hath tolde vs that there is eminent danger in the refusall of a crowne : meaning ( as i conceiue it ) that states-men may bee thought too much worthy ? and that there is danger in being thought worthy of a kingdome where others haue more tytle . the best loue therfore that can be bestowed vpon the people , or the best friendship that you can receiue from them , is to suffer them in thinges indifferent , or not to shew a currish seuerity : for ( like the hungarian heyducks ) their wrath is prone to mischief , & their amity is worth nothing in a time of peace : so that indeed to flatter with them & not regard them , is a sound proposition : for if coriolanus contemnes their authority , they can abhor his name , & banish his person : or at least banish him from preuailing in publike assistance . my rule for popularity , is , that according to the constitution of the party so affected , it may be nourishment or poyson : if hee be sound in his affections meaning gods honour ; applause & popularity conuerts to his encouragement : if ambitious or selfe-pleasing , it turns to a most harmefull dotage . the safest course ( that i can be acquainted with ) to confirme and preserue dignities with good approuall ; is to bee immutable , honest , and no reported polititian : for the very name containes ( among generall conceits ) much powder-treason , atheisme , curses of inferiors , and condemnations of all , except their close minions . an other thing that doth breifely replenish a noble spirit must be more example , dispatch or quicke perfect motion , then precepts or doctrines : these being the frequent obiect , of painfull artists , the other being a rhetoricall inducement to establish the delight of action : in which nothing drawes greater efficacie , then speedinesse and fortunate euent ; though both these relie much vpon a contriuing faculty , which is begotten by a frequent practise . and therefore it betokens a sluggish feare , and priuate weakenes , when we are loath to enterprise : for a couragious minde gets perfection through quick desire , aboue many mens longer custome : but when appetite failes i perceiue no stomack of nobility . it may seeme somewhat conrrouersiall , whether state-knowledge , or militant resolutions be more gracefull to generositie ; and questionlesse , i conceiue few romane senators , or not any ( except cicero ) were vnsufficient to lead an army , as well as to deliuer an opinion in the councell-chamber : both be so vnseparably annexed , as we may hardly thinke he aduises the common-wealth louingly , who is afraid to iustifie the common-wealths quarrell ; whē himselfe adiudges it lawfull . the pompe or magnificence of mighty persons , may now become a festiuall day better then common policy : for this age doth not so soone conclude the royall minde , as the fantasticke humour , by expence of needlesse brauery ; accompting that rather magnificence , when we expend our owne about the kingdomes glory : which by reflexe produces an apparant loue , and feare toward such actiue spirits . for all men reuerence him truely , who is impartiall , and industrious to aduance equitie , or to confirme goodnesse with goodnesse among all . and howsoeuer the full stomacks of men will hardly suffer them to commend such worthy ones aliue ; yet haue their deaths been alwaies deplorable . wheras polliticke braines with false bottomes , haue found a publique curse , which was before restrained with authority . tacitus giues an excellent praecept touching the report of princes liues when they be dead ; and saith they raild vpon their emperour vitellius being dead , whom being aliue they flattred : and yet presently he doth annex ; the bountie and plaine meaning of vitellius were his ruine : both which may seeme a riddle : for bounty & honest meaning be two preseruatiues for honour : but then he giues a most lawfull reason , because they were not handled with discretion . in a word good ornaments accomplish great persons : and good ornaments are as a sweet oyntment : now if oyntments be powred vpon the feet , the sauour goes vpward into the nostrill ( as diogines noted ) but being rubbed vpon our head the vapour vanishes : and so it often falls out that fruites of knowledge ascend vpwardes from men of base condition to the nostrills of princes : wheras the sauour & profit of their own studies dies before them : but oyntment powred and not rubbed vpon ou●… head runs downe about the garments ; and plenty of knowledge in great per-persons imparts it selfe to others . i dare not become an instructo ; it appertaines to found professours : neither can i reproue ; it may incurre the name of malapert . i labour onely , to proue by a perswading reason ; which is nothing burbare counsell . as for nobility , if it beare the name of legitimate , it will beare a contempt also ( with agesilaus ) to be reproued , when paines may happily discharge their function . neither at any time shall high births aspire to hazardous downfalls , if they esteeme honor as the reward of v●…rtue , no vertue in it selfe . and vertue to men truly noble is most welcome when it is most difficult ; not where necessitie doth make a vertue , but where they can doe otherwise and will not : for i account it a signe much nobler when we neglect vertue because we are compelled , and haue not licence to meet disaduantage ; then if we feare some greater disaduantage by not being vertuous , and ●…o by a compulsion proue vertuous : as i account him a more vertuously sublimed spirit , who hauing little meanes and poore estate exceeds his compasse , only for this reason , because he cannot be abstinent in aboundance , then him who fearing pouerty , discredit or il-name affecteth parsimony . for i suppose it a more safe position to say ; i cannot be the greatest and therefore wil be nothing vertuous , then , i will be a little vertuous in action , but will haue vertuous meaning . of disinheritance . essay . vi. it is more impossible for an vnnatural father to bee a true friend , then for an abused sonne , to be an obedient sonne : because i think it is a sound precept ; that hee whose disposition findes a soone-moued contrariety betwixt himselfe and his vndoubted children , must ( of necessity ) bee a man who refuses all men , except aduantage pleades for them ; seeing he neglects those , for whom nature pleades , if aduantage be absent . the same may be inferred concerning all degenerate kinsfolke , though in a lesse degree . but for the first i haue obserued it generally ; that hee who was apt for disinheritance , hath been a man alwayes of as many affections , as there be faces : and as prompt to refuse any , as to receiue any , if hee might saue by the bargain . howsoeuer sub●…ects be now growne so tyrannicall , that where pretences may accomplish their malice , they cānot thinke there is a god , or , at least , they thinke god fauours their proceedings . for calumnious pretences , and aggrauated trifles haue been the common glosse of parents cruelty in this kinde : their president is vulgar : for tyrants neuer slew without state-alchimy , or multiplicatiō of pretēded treasons : neither may alexander lack occasiō , so long as he had a meaning to kill 〈◊〉 . the hungry woolfe may call the lambe his debtor , but a good stomack is the day of payment , and the prouerbe is well verified : * if thou wouldst beate a dog heere is a staffe . so that although churlish parents pretend iust causes of disinheritance , yet these are quickly found , soone allowed , and as soone amplyfied . from whence you may gather , that no sparke of naturall affection but onely a compulsiue maintenance , keeps the reference betwixt such parents , and such children . for louing nature and affection be tractable , of long forbearance , much pitty , manifest care ; and keep an establisht forme of affability , with which friendes or kinsfolk be vnacquainted : this prouokes an eminent reflexe of loue ; whereas rough carriage begets loue in curres , but a conremptible scorne in noble spirits . in a milk-white table , one blot is more visible , then forty in a browne paper : and in a continued louing vsage , one reproofe is more preuaileable then fifty in a vsuall crabbednes . for common noyses go not beyond our eares ; but a sudden clamor startles the whole man. it is therefore more commendable to follow the extreame of vertue abounding , then defectiue : the first partakes with mediocritie in the nature : but the last is altogether opposite . we may then more safely allow indulgence , then austerity : because it approcheth neerer to true loue . for though indulgence hath made children lofty in behauiour towardes others , yet ( i obserue ) it breeds a true and vndiuorced affection towards the originall cause . it is therefore an excellent rule , for children , to bee any way restrain'd without the parents knowledge , or at least their taking notice : wherby nature cānot grudge against nature , nor yet want reprehension for howsoeuer marcus cato said well : that hee had rather be vnrewarded for doing wel , then vnpunished for offences : yet we haue naturally a secret spleene against the iudge , though wee account him righteous and impartiall . it must be expected then , that children doe knowe a difference betwixt fathers and maisters ; which makes them the more implacable , when they see nature impartiall . from hence sertorius , a politicke captaine , would not himselfe represse the disobedience of his souldiers ; least , howsoeuer they deserued ill , yet his correction might take away their louing duty : which respect made him suffer the enemyes incursions , rather to scourge their insolence , whilst they , out of a hare-brained lunacie desire battaile . and thus the sacred decree of correction may bee kept vnuiolate , and the loue of children vnblemished . for i am vnanswerably perswaded , that parents wrath diminisheth the childes loue , making him seruile or else refractory to the doctrine of thēselues & others ; because they cannot vndertake with delight , so long as frownes and feare be crept into their fancy . but affable parents beget truely affectionate children , who may endure another mans reproofe to mittigate the name of cockney , and yet louingly adore the father because hee was alwayes louing . so then the fathers diligent loue , and a tutors modest instruction , may make a seldome-seene heire affect his fathers life without hypocrisie , and proue a venerable wise man. without which loue apparant , or oftentimes indulgence , i see an eldest sonne , in stead of the fathers blessing , render backe sweating curses . i see another inclining onely to the mother ; and a third , slippe into the disinherited fortune . the comaedian therefore saith well touching a fathers dutie : i ouer-passe expences , i call not euery thing to a strict account ; and that which other sonnes labour to keepe secret , i doe not bitterly condemne in mine , least many things should ●…ee concealed ; for hee that ( through a ●…ugged vsage ) depriues his father ( by false excuses ) of a youthfull error , will soone deceiue others . indeede mistrust makes children disobedient : for i doe make it a most equall question ; whether more men haue deceiued others because they haue beene distrusted ; or whether more men haue distrusted others because they haue beene deceiued ? it is more auailable then , to gouerne by liberalitie , not base compulsion : for he that thus becomes obedient , expects onely till he may wan●… the witnesse of his actions . but the comicall poet saith truly ; patres aequum esse censent nos iam iam a puerisillico nasci senes . now for the danger arising by parents vnkindenesse ( it hauing beene propounded , that want of loue breedes disinheritance ) i will demonstrate , first how horrible , second vnlaw●…ull , and third impossible , disinheritance may be well accounted . the diuorce of mariage is a weighty case , much forbidden , much controuerted ; because mariage it selfe is made a strict vnion ; so farre , as husbands seeme incorporate with their wiues , being both to bee taken as one flesh . but this vnion admits many exceptions ; neither may any thinke their being made one , extends further , then the rhetoricall aggrauation of vnitie ; to insinuate how difficult a thing diuorce will be betwixt two , so narrowly vnited : but children haue a more exquisite property of indiuorceable ; because they really partake with parents by existence : deriuing a particular & true strength of body from the parents body . and therfore it seemes the matter of disinheritance is a thing so odious , as ( being held improbable to be acted among the iewes , or any nation ) no law of scripture contradicts it . indeed rebellious sonnes are by the verdict of diuine iniunction , to suffer death , if they shall strike the parents , or rise vp against them : but for the matter of disinheritance ( which farre transcends the punishment of death ) i haue read no sillable that may giue the tolleration of diuinity . death indeed , cōparatiuely respected , may be thoght the best wages of a rebellious son : for the act includes his full sentēce ; because to smite his parent , is to seek the destruction of his efficient cause : which act keeps within it so much ingratitude , as heauenly iustice can do no lesse then remoue him who seeks to remoue his begetter ; it being an inseperable part of holinesse , to pay offenders with their own coyne . but disinheritance so much exceeds death , as it approches to a continued torment . death is so far from misery , where men expiate offences , as it affoords felicity ▪ because it giues a present satisfaction , and a present hope to enioy a good portion ; if penitence , and a satisfactorie minde be companions . but disinheritance , or abdication , doth not onely enforce death , but makes the circumstance tyrannicall . a violent death is but an abridgement of nature ; but disinheritance doth often bring a violent death , and enlarge the wickednesse of nature . i see no difference betwixt them in the conclusion : for death is an effect cōmonly of disinheritance ; but no death more excludes all humanitie . the case is palpable . i giue directions to a traueller : he arrogantly contemnes my counsell ; which doth so much prouoke me , as ( to amend the matter ) i draw him by compulsion to an apparant ambush ; in which , after many sustained a buses , horrible vexations , and desperate encounters , hee concludes his life with infamie ; or perhaps blasphemy . so , currish and cruell parents , by disinheritance deale euery way answerable to this similitude . the horror of which athisme is the more amplified , by so much as naturall affinitie claimes a more humane president then strangers . banishment or abiuration is tolerable : for it takes originall by publicke decree , superior counsell , and authority of those , from whom i can chalenge nothing but iustice : whereas disinheritance , a nationall banishment ( transcending forraine exile in the cause and manner ) proceeds from priuate occurrences , that cannot reach so high an affliction ; because the nature of it is equall to , nay aboue , publicke iustice . our law hath prouidently dislik'd the dealing : for it appeares by glanuile chiefe iustice in the raigne of henry the second , lib. . cap. . fol. . that if a man had lands descended to him , and ( hauing many sonnes ) desired to bestowe some portion of it on some of the younger ; this could not be accōplished without his elder sons agreement : only for this reason , saith glanutle , that the ●…ather ( who did oftentimes most doa●…e vpon the you●…ger sons ) should not disinherit his eldest . now it may well be esteemed inhumane , when parents punish with rigor , where the lawe condemnes not , because in euery offence highly punishable , the law is open : if that condemnes , the parents loue may a little bee excused , though he doth not excuse his sonnes accu●…ation ; but where himselfe exceedes the lawes rigor , when the law is silent , and becomes accuser , iudge , and executioner , wee may discouer a damnable flintie heart ; apt enough for massacre ; seeing he first playes the tyrant with his owne image . parents therefore cannot argue and say ( except disinheritance ) they haue no remedie for disobedience ; seeing there is no crime that may deserue so great satisfaction , but the law is all-sufficient to render iustice and saue them vnpreiudiced in the aspersion of vnnaturall : which title disinheritance , draws with it inseperate . for if we take a view of those impulsiue causes which breed occasion ; we shall perceiue how accessary parents be to all their childrens vices ; and by the consequent , how culpable they are to punish that so strictly , of which themselues be authors . shall the best man liuing suppose himselfe an author of things simply good , though in the strength of wisdome , religion and thoughts , rectified , he doth performe them ? and shall wee not then say , that , a father is the impotēt cause of error , when hee cannot perform a worke of goodnes in his own-begotten , or why shal any man expect things differing frō his end ? and by the consequent , why shall any man expect vertuous children ? for if the wisest & religious man could be examin'd , i know he would confesse , that either lust or a vain-glory , or both together haue inter-mixt themselues with his most pious end of generation : so that if children haue any goodnes , they cannot thanke their parents as the authors : but if they doe abound with mischiefe they may thanke their parents chiefly . is it not therefore a strict dealing when parents will not recompence an iniury , by a forgiuenes of that corruption which they themselues imparted ? setting aside the position which makes children participate with parents in vices liable to constitution , we may ( without these ) demonstrate , how guilty they are of each notorious crime in children , through a pouertye of rectified education . ●…or as , in naturall productions , nothing is so absurd , from which art cannot extract a deer quintessence ; so among naturall men , and the conditions of humanitie , nothing is so irregular , from which elaborate and true instructiue methode cannot produce a divine excellence . indeed the disquisition of natures is difficult and much politicke labour belongs to the true si●…ting of a peruerse disposition . but questionlesse , the worst natured among all bad men , are , by a true seasoning of minoritie , a wise progresse , or institution of ripe yeares , and an alluring motiue of practises well commended ; they are capable of goodnesse , subdued in mischiefe , and apprehensiue in a sufficient measure . so that we must not ignorantly impute the curse of children to a wrong cause , seeing it is either the curse of the parents ; not to instruct children at all ; not sufficiently ; or not in the true manner . examples are infinite : alc●…hiades may include all . he , a voluptuous and sensuall swaggerer , could neuer be reclaimed by many strong experiments ; till cōming by chance to the philosophicall lecture of socrates , he was sodainely conuerted : such a sympathie there was betwixt this philosophers doctrine , and the disciples attention ; whereas twenty others might perhappes haue beene frustrate in the same conuersion , though their precepts had beene equall , because there is an invisible concordance to make them aequiualent . which manner of instruction , respecting the quality and person , of method and tutors , be matters onely appertaining to the parents charge . now ( if a curse imposed vpon them , be a hinderance to them both , whereby they neither can be prouided of true instructors or instructions ) shall we accuse the childe as an author of the fathers curse , or the fathers curse now being , as an originall of the childes future inconveniences ? this being concluded , we may well inferre , concerning disinheritance , that parents cur'ses bee the onely causes which prouoke it ( seeing they might sometimes , but doe not , and doe not sometimes because they cannot , ingraft goodnes , by their owne ignorance ) and being so they resemble heliogabalus , who hauing procured his friends drunkennes , would cast the miserable wretches among tame beares and lyons , to terrifie them when they awaked . but herein they differ : hee was the voluntary cause of his friends ; parents , the vnaduised cause of their childrens error : in stead of which mitigatiō , hee threw his friends among tame beares & lyons : parents , by disinheritance , throw their issue amōgst rampant wolues . for besides the perplexed infamy , and sorrowfull perturbatiōs of such excluded cast-awayes , what shall wee coniecture touching their desperate resolution ? or how shall wee condemn , if they bee suddenly ouerthrowne by the full necessity of destruction ? seeing their destitute fortune inuites them to imbrace each glistering temptation , and to shake handes with calamity . i cannot ( for mine own part ) comprehend all this without remembrance and pitty of such parents rnines ; seeing they cānot discharge all , before children haue incurred destruction without them . nothing is written which doth not amplifie our instruction ( saith diuinity ) & nothing amongst all is more effectuall then true obseruations , except diuinity . most ingeneous therefore and full of perswasion , may that morality bee , soone collected from insensible creatures : they haue an excellent and singular loue ( each creature in his kinde ) to nourish vp their weake little ones . the hunted lyonesse dryues her whelpes before . the pregnant beare forsakes not her den vntil she be deliuered ; neither doe the whelpes come forth vntill they can escape danger . the snake swallowes her young , if any disaduantage happens . and aboue all , most admirable is natures ingenuity , touching that forraine creature , called su ; which ( being persecuted ) shuts vpp her cubbes in a depending scrip , & so protects them from the huntsman . the multitude of examples would bee tedious . ●…riefly therfore , it is an obserued note among them ; they neuer forsake their infantry till it be able euery way like themselues ) to preuent mischiefe . this may rebuke all hasty-minded parents , who ( notwithstanding the discursiue light of reason ) can cast off meere humanity , and goe beneath a brutish goodnes of nature , not onely to forsake , but to abhorre their issue ; and leaue them destitute , before they bee any way enabled to su staine nature . for children bee indeed thus reiected euer , because they be vnable . might it be so imagined , that our posterity ( like beastial generation ) could , when they bee at full growth , require no houses but the vaile of heauen ; no nourishment but the next pasture ; no cloathing but the robes of nature , no supportation against misery , but instinct , & dulnesse , then parents might forsake and proue vnblameable : but excellency and sweet composure , demaund in vs a more respected fortune . omitting these indifferent allegations , which some may account sophistry , rather then sound precept , because they beleeue nothing but what scripture makes apparant ; nor that can be accepted among them , vnlesse no christian contradicts it ; neither can that which all acknowledge , win oftentimes any more then weake beleefe : it shall bee therefore sufficient to confute this error in question , by the soundest proofe , and then the vnbeliefe of humorists will serue to multiply their condemnations . wee cannot ( where things be left vntouched in scripture ) assume a safer patterne then the most absolute quallities of our maker . first then , that metaphoricall affinitie , of father and son , which himselfe hath pleased to entertaine betwixt himselfe and his elected , may serue to instruct parents ( without question ) in all degrees of duty , and inseparate relation . now all agree vpon this principle , that whomsoeuer god hath once loued , him hee hath loued * euerlastingly . it is impossible therefore , if at any time there hath been amity bttwixt father and sonne , that this ( being obserued ) it should fal away to disinheritāce . for if gods maiestie descend so lowe , as to continue his loue alwaies where he hath begun to loue : shall not imitation hereof be requisite in fathers , who bee commanded to loue their children , and in whom nature exacts more proportion , then in the least degree can be imagined betwixt holinesse and fr●…ilty ? each circumstance appeares so manifest , as i knowe not how sophisters can colourably distinguish . a second instance may confirme this president . god neuer hath forsaken the most wicked reprobates , till they haue voluntarily forsaken him first : the prodigall demanded his portion , left his father , and yet the father willingly accepts him being conuerted . this becomes farre opposite to the practise of our age : so violent is the humor of disinheriting parents , as they forget common charity , & refuse loue with an extreame scorne of reconcilement . as for the pretended causes which commonly prouoke parents , i cannot any way cuniecture , that they be either halfe so infinite , or in the least degree so terrible , as those with which all parents prouoke omnipotence & therfore i cannot well see how such fathers can claime the petition of forgiuenesse , when they cannot forgiue their own issue . the heire of a kingdome entitles himselfe not more iustly to his crowne , then eldest sons do to their homely inheritance . now i obserue , that whersoeuer hath beene a succeeding gouerment , there , weake-braind , ryotous , tyrannicall , and lewd princes , haue been admitted to their dignities without contradiction . and doth not the bloud of common heires answere to a kings priuiledge , in the title of legitimate ? why then shall wee not be prouoked with such iniustice ? if children should receiue no more then they deserue : or if they should claime loues respect , no longer then merits make a full proportion ; how should the liberality of parents , and the prerogatiue of children , appeare ? or what obedience may fathers aske from such children , more then from good apprentices ? 〈◊〉 could intombe his mares , when they purchased credite in the swift races of olimpiades . xanthippus could bewaile his dogges death which had followed his maister from calamina . alexander could erect a citty in the honor of bucephalus , when he had been long defended by him in many battailes . the asse may well ( among the heathen ) be adorned with lillies , violets , and garlands ; when their goddesse , vesta , by an asses voyce , a●…oyded the rape of priapus . if merits therefore should onely challenge the loue of parents , nothing might make a difference betwixt sons and bond slaues : seeing bare humanitye , and the lawe of nations hath accounted the honours of one worthy to bee honoured , nothing but equall and necessarie thankes . nay , in all ages , so bountifull and respectiue hath authority been to true merits , as euen the desertlesse children haue mette with dignitie to remunerate the fathers worthinesse : thus did the athenians bestow great wages , vpon lysimachus , to gratisie the seruice of ar●…stides : and thus the romans preferred the cause of marcus brutus , because his ancestors had tooke the countries quarrell against tyrants . shall fathers then esteeme it such a bad custome to dignifie their owne begotten issue , though desertlesse ; seeing strangers haue done this to congratulate good fathers ? two examples there bee , ancient and moderne ( worth our memory ) that shew the practise of our theam in question ; and affoord singular obseruation . the first is euident , in the raigne of agis a lacedemonian king : in whose principall citty of sparta , the custome had prohibited alienations that preiudice the heire : the custome grew to bee a confirmed law : after continuance there sell a difference betwixt one of the highest magistrates and his eldest sonne : the father was so actually prouoked , that hee exhibites a decree to licence disinheritance ; the decree was established : and afterward ( saith plutarch ) couetousnesse became publicke : for now men had licence to de●… families and es●…ates , which otherwise should haue descended . from hence my obseruation is double . the prime cause of disinheritance was fury : and then the commodity was ranke couetousnesse . lastly , it is apparant by the tower-rowles , that ( during the raigne of edward the fourth ) one thomas burdet an englishmā , being somewhat innocently condemned to death ( about captious tearmes ignorantly vttered ) in his way to death espied his eldest sonne , whom ( before ) hee disinherited : him therfore hee penitently receiued ; and hauing now confessed seriously , that he felt gods wrath vpon him onely to punish that vnnaturall sinne , he humbly beg'd forgiuenesse of god , and of his sonne : the application of such a paenitent remorse is easie . hauing now marshald vp this troope of arguments , which ( i thinke ) are approueable ; some ( questionlesse ) will accoūt them white-liuerd souldiers , drest vp onely with a rhetoricall habite : but censure is no lesse infinite , then oftentimes odious : triall therefore shall discharge the integrity of these ; whilst i proceed briefly to muster one troope more , whose courage is enough animated by their aduersaries weaknes . for if the birth-right ( which intitles an heire ) bee inseperate , then the prerogatiue is also inseperate , for inheritance depends vpon priority , which being vnremoueable ; the benefit should remaine likewise : it being as monstrous for an heire to bee without inheritance , as for a father to be without a childe : relations therfore be so depending , that wee may sooner affirme the sonne and father not to be , then heires and inheritance not to bee correlatiues : and by the consequent as lawfully may wee depriue both of beeing , as we may permit the one without the other . of poetry . essay . vii . poetry is called the worke of * nature : i rather think it a diuine alacrity , entertained by the fitnesse of nature : for if ( in generall ) a cheerefull spirit partakes of a diuine influence ; then this ( being spiritually maintained , with a desire to cōmunicate , and expresse such quickning inuentions ) can bee no other , being the soule of alacrity , then an inuisible diuine worke ; which doth transport nature , whilst nature meruailes at the cause . * philosophy hath diuided our soules faculty ; and makes the intelligent part our principall essence : that cannot perish : poetry depends on that , and a sublime fancy ; they being the helpes of our disposall : or ( to speake truely ) a poet vseth euery function of the soule : depending vpon which , hee must reiect nature ▪ for nature perisheth , the soule cannot . * nature is then the hand-maide ; but an infusiue worthinesse , the soule of poetry . conceiue but this , and nature will disclaime : nature imparts her faculties by generation ; excluding study & custome : a poet neuer is engendred so , further then a naturall logician , therefore hee exceeds nature . * the stoicks made a difference betweene poema and poesis , a poem , and poetry : which difference may well serue to illustate the meritorious honour of true stage-poetry : that onele being the soule and spirit of poesis : other seuerall poems , bee the limbes and weake dependants of that happy mistris : for true representation is the spirtit of fancy ; and fancy is the treasure of apprehension : the nimbly speedines of which , makes a poet ; and that quicke speedinesse , is not in any poem so much apparant , as in a dramaticke turning . est enim poesis significatiuum poema , diuinarum et humanarum rerum imitationem complectens . poesie is a significant poem , containing an imitation of diuine & humane passages : which imitation heer intended , is not in any poem so much verified , as in a naturall play : and neuer was in any nation ( it may bee boldly spoken ) that elegance and nature obserued in play-composures , which is inhaerent generally to our english writers at this day . so that we may inuert the wordes of plautus . — nunc nouae quae prodeunt fabulae multo sunt m●…liores quae nummi nostri : and in nature most equall to these writings , poetick history approaches neerest : consisting in the same degree of fancy ; and an inuention better furnished . wee may obserue a sweet concordance in this mighty fabricke : all things are coupled with an allusiue vnion : life , is a flash of immortality ; sleepe , of death : middle age of summer : arts also , and ages past , haue a similitude with things inferiour , and signifie things future . language is likened to a casket , logicke to an artificers instrument , rhetoricke to a precious colour : and poetry likewise hath a sit resemblance with prophesie : both be an vnutterable rapture ; both bee a boundlesse large capacity : both bee a vniuersall tractate : both be cōfined within a small number : both be discredited with false pretenders : both be dispersed among men ( originally ) obscure : both bee alike neglected : both ( generally ) contemned alike . neither could prophets at all times be furnishd to denounce ; nor can poets bee at all times furnishd to compose . poetry is made the conueyance of amorous delights : and certainly it doth bestow much sweetnesse in apparrelling loue-accents . this only might discouer it for a supreme donatiue , seeing the musicke in heauen is an agreement of soules . ier●…me sauanarola , the monkish phylosopher , makes poetry a part of reasonable philosophy ; maintaining this , against naturall pretenders of poetry : i will not meddle with his arguments , they are elaborate and learned : the truth is euident without serious proofe . verse and rime bee things naturall : for they be onely colour and appearance : but if you value the phrase and the materials after the same proportion , as thinking your conceit able to furnish a poem , you shall indeed perceiue it likewise naturall , that is , naked , vnpolished , nay the scorne of poetry . a quicke contriuing head may vtter laudably , but neuer was a braine so sudden , as to compose well without the president of others in the like kinde : nay , take the most illiterate writers , ( who propound experience and familiar allusions ) they haue a time to meditate , to compare , to dispose . it is with poets and writers , as with kinges and maiestrates : princes accounted wise may liberally incroach on others wealth , and neuer bee accounted tyrants : and poets held iudicious may through lazines orignorance make vse of others witts , whilst the reserued store-house which helpes others , shall be thought an empty stable . quicquid delirant reges plectuntur achiui . this art of poetry cannot proue eminent , vnlesse the writer hath a reioycing heart , an apprehensiue head , and a disclouded fancy . carmina proveniunt amo deducta sereno , saith the poet : verses proceed from a disburthend braine . it is impossible therfore for one deiected by calamitie , or one perplexed with questions of an other science , to get perfection in this free knowledge : i say , perplexed with questions of another science ; because a poet should rather copiously discourse of all , by application to a witty purpose , rather then be exquisite in a particular art , respecting depth of rule , or quidditie . notions , coniectures , and some of the best passages , be more sufficient for him , then a praecise certaintie of rules . sharpe sause procures appetite ; but sharp meats kill the stomacke . and doubtles little griefes be prouocations to reu●…ue ; whereas a multitude of disapointments , weaken poetry : because they doe embase the spirits : now poetry is the quickest part of spirit ; and therefore soone distempred : as quicke edges are soonest blunted . he therefore who propunds excellence , must refuse the multitude of questions , and the * vexation of miseries : both be as clogges and fetters to that aspiring facultie . from hence i may conclude the perfection of this science doth match the straines of right alchymie : it being ( in both ) alike impossible to finde that man who shall directly promise to attaine perfection ; because impediments exceed the means . the nourishment of poetry is good applause : for poems being made to allure and bewitch the reader in a lesson of morall precept , must prosper in their meaning , or be discountenanced : as all professions be , which make mens good opinions the reward of knowledge : and therefore hath england affoorded few men accurate in historicall poems , because opinion hath vouchsafed to ranke her painefull volumes among easie and slight labors : whereas italians haue proued singular proficients in this kinde of inuention ; because ( saith rosinus ) authority hath graced their elegance . so that considering our negligence of historicall poems , it may be well obserued with plautus , in his prologue to casina : ea tempestate 〈◊〉 poetarum fuit qui nunc abierunt in cōmunem locum the reason ( i thinke ) which hath wrought in england such a degenerate value of poems , proceeded ( first ) from the professors ignorance & generall basenesse but secondly from the stubborn grauitie of the best readers ; who scorne to account the best poems profitable workes , because all haue hitherto been accounted slight composures , or at best vnprofitable and we imagine it a weaknesse to recant an error . some haue certainely contemned the worthiest labors euenthrough malicious , despaire of attempting the like worthily . as in * another place i haue thus noted — a poets rapture , kings haue wishd to feele , which some despise because vncapable . howsoeuer , the base opinion which poetry incurs among vs , hath been repaid with iustice : that is , the discredit of our nation : for our vnder-valuing opinion hath depriued the publick of more iudicious workes then be already extant : and so the glory of our nations eminent wit , hath beene eclipsed with forraigners . indeed there bee some easie helpes for poets which artists haue not : i haue reduced them into this number morning , wine , beautie , health , and musicke are the fiue prouoking helps of poetry . these together be as the nourishment , not the body : for it is impossible that these should make a poet ; but onely feed the powers of art and nature : which principally doth commend the temperature of poetry : for as in phisicke so in this , such a food such a blood . these helps therefore hauing a sweetned puritye , doe shew a most sweet compound in the spirit of poems which suckes their quintessence . as for the priuate and sensible benefit ( which any shall conceiue in publishing his labours ) i see none vertuous but this : he may excuse ( by them ) his silent nature ; and be accounted better , as a melancholy poet , then a speechlesse foole . fame and eminence sauour of a fruitlesse ambition ; that will now purchase nothing for poetry by preferment , but an opinion that poetry is his knowledge , and ( it being so ) that he is fit for nothing els : or some perhaps ; nay , the wisest , will bestowe compassion , and say , it is pitty such a pregnant wit should endeuour so idly . these bee the comforts of being famous : let doaters bee ambitious of it . the deepest poets haue neglected verse : i meane the polished forme of verse : but i would sooner loue such workes in prose ; and heartily intreate such writers , euen for their own dispatch-sake , and the readers also , to abandon poetry , except they can avoyd that crabbed stile and forme , which weakens any readers appetite and apprehension . nothing doth so much discouer poetry to be a thing of spirit and quicke substance , as the delight it takes to dwell in flourishing and lusty bloods ; when life and all her attributes do most prouoke nature : and therfore shell you see men , who haue tasted poetry in their youth , and feele a diminution by impediments of age laboring most commonly to renew their age : and most of all quicken nature by the meanes praemised . whereas when poetry is in a full growth the knowne verses may be well applied : shewing it cannot be conceald : quicquid conabor dicere versus ●…rat . and shewing that words will come alone when matter is prouided . verbaque peouisā rē non inuita sequuntur : words freely follow a prouided wit. the relish of poetry is a candied barke : an elegance so sweetned with apt phrase and illustration , as it excludes rough harshnesse , & all mysterie : controuersies and philosophicall questions bee therefore improper arguments for a poeticall tractate : they cannot be expressed with an inticing libertie . similitudes be the fit interpreters of poets : when i affirme this , i doe not approue all similitudes , but such as doe interpret : which they cannot doe , except they be more familiar then the thing interpreted . this condemnes any , who from a depth in learning , shall produce the mathematickes , to illustrate grammer : or shall compare things knowne by repetition to an example in astronomy . poore and prodigall haue been a poets titles : these haue been fixt with a contemptiue meaning , but i imagine they aduance his qualitie : for therefore he neglects wealth , because he feeles within himselfe a iewell which can redeeme his bondage in the worst calamity . freedome of braine and body is a poets musicke : a peaceable fruition doth preserue , and doth reuiue his fancie . indeed the liberty of braine makes a poet : and if that liberty be 〈◊〉 with crosse ●…ortunes of immediate dependance or displeasing casualties , the poet hath no liberty , but only to respect the times occasion . when therefore a reward is moti●…e , it makes the labour like it selfe , seruile . poetry should therefore ( being an impartiall free science ) be vndertaken by the free ●…rosessor ; a man sufficient in estate : such a one as need not vse flattery to win reward ; nor so indite , that things may be dispatched quickly & his wants quickly furnished ; nor so dispatch , that hee may rather make things saleable , through obscoenity or scandals , then approued labour : because while ioyfully they should int●…nd their poems , they bee too much interrupted with a remēbrance of their wants , & be compelled to take a ready course : a course too ready , to be regular : and hor●…ce himselfe hath said it . qui paulum a summo dis●…essit , vergit ad ▪ ●…mum . and poems made to cherish vp the minde being not best are of the basest kinde . these mischiefes follow a mercenarie hope : and therefore be mercenary 〈◊〉 odious : such ( i mean ) as are prouoked by pouerty , & will exact their wages . of discontents . essay viii . pleasure and sorrow bee the obiects of vertue : but discōtents be may thought rather the obiects of pleasure . vertue moderates the folly of pleasure and sorrow : but pleasure so moderated remoues discontents . i reckon discontents among my priuate * sorrowes●…s which amplifie my owne misfortune ; which feele the same ( perhaps ) a greater torment for my friends misery , then my owne : yes , i am better assured of my owne fortitude to contemne sorrowes , then of my friends aptnesse , to relish my counsels ; or of his owne freedome to advise himselfe : and therefore his vexation ( he being my selfe ) afflicts me more iniuriously : because i can ouercome my owne , better then his. i call those properly discontented who are busie thoughted : who , like brainelesse patients , are almost desperate if another giues them poyson ; and yet ( being recouered ) they will aduenture to poyson themselues : for many of this ranke you shall perceiue , who hauing passed the discontents which come by others malice , will ( of their owne accord ) frame new perplexities : they will conceiue thinges otherwise then they be , and so nourish a conceite till they beleeue it reall . it is one of mans extreame ignorant follies that he wil fasten his vexation about casuall dreams , and sleepy conceits ; not meditating whether , and why he wakes . opinion is indeed the mediate cause of discontents ; but then a rectified or false capacitie ( being an immediate cause of rectified or false opinions ) begets a true or idle discontent . i call that idle , which is begotten of an idle fancie : such idle discontents are soone expelled ; they are causelesse melarcholy , begot by alteration , dispersed by alteration : but melancholy , meeting with a reall cause , becomes a setled mischiefe ▪ howsoeuer , nothing ( though most worth our discontent ) can bee said his or my discontent , vnlesse we so conceiue it . for certainly , a carelesse resolution may bee freed from conscience and discontent together : whereas perhaps a nice examining head may so ensnare it selfe with multitude of thoughts , that the confusion may prouoke both : but then a carelesse resolution serues worthily to abate such idle , and such reall discontents . for as in naturall bodies fasting and food destroy and nourish ; so in our daily proiectes , consideratiue thoughts and carelesse negligence fasten and remoue . the brayne of man is like a pocket watch , where within little compasse you may finde great workmanship ▪ and the braines of best-witted men are a curious clocke ; which by the distemprature of one wheele , growes distempered in euery one : and indeed the most curious witts which seeke a reason for euery trifle be a distemperature , or affliction to themselues : still growing lesse like a piramide towards the conclusion of their curiosity in searching . eu●…lides did therfore answere w●…ll , when one would presse him in many nice questions of diuinitye ; cetera quidem nescio , ill●…d scio quòd dij oderunt curiosos . thus much i know the gods detest a curiosity ; the best * philosophers haue left a doubtfull number of mens perturbations , some assigne six , some fiue , some foure some eleuen . they might ( in my conceit ) be all reduced vnto a triple number : including likewise the very causes of all discontent . imagine therefore they proceed first from iealousies of whatkind soeuer ; either in being contemned , neglected , or ambiguous of good successe : then from doubts not to be resolued , either through weaknesse of our vnderstanding , or intricacie of the question , then from an extreame desire , either of things difficult or impossible . to iealousies , and such desires , all are incident ; to doubts and questions , schollers or scholler ▪ like heads onely : these comprehend the summe of all our crosses : of all our sorrowes both in soule & bo●…y : nay , all more narrowly may be reduced to a desire : for when we briefly say , he hath his hearts desire , we do withall in tend , that he is neither troubled with pleasure , griefe , feare , audacity , hope or anger : the six turbulent passions reckned by plato . our passions bee the first causes of our discontents : and all our passions be sutable or vnsutable to nature : the first intice , the last terrifie our wisedome : and therefore both kindes must bee dealt with wisely , but lesse hardly , because one medicine ouercomes both . let neither good nor euill chances take vs vnprouided , and we shall be neuer afflicted : for either wee grow sluggish & careles being pleasd with good , or wholy danted being displeasd with 〈◊〉 chances ▪ let vs therfore sometimes willingly please our selues , and ha●…ing tasted what such pleasure is , let vs returne into the common course of labour : by which meanes , pleasures will not bee ouer-pleasant and attractiue , when afterwards by occasion we shall be again tempted : and being not so effectuall with vs , wee cannot afterwards repent , or be disconsolate because wee did forget our selues . neither will griefes be ouer grieuous , if wee be somtimes sencible of others griefe ; not by a womanish pitty ( for that softens the heart , and makes it ouer sencible , inclining to dispaire ) but by a noble pitty , which sees our owne 〈◊〉 in anothers suffrings , and makes vs worthily abhor●…e to be the cause of such suffrings : for whilst we so pitty the wrōg which others haue committed , wee nourish in our selues a scorne to do the like : these excepted , the saying is true : misereri & sapere vix dijs conceditur . certainly ( amongst all ) perplexed questions be to a labouring head , most troublesome : and lesse blameable was that sound * philosopher , who made the ocean capable of him , because he was not capable of reason for the ebbe and flow ; rather then such as be ashamed to liue , when either needinesse , feare , ignominy , griefe , or disappointments contradict them . it is meere beastial to dye vpon such weake incounters ; which might be all confuted with a heathens knowledge : but then to dye for ignorance may seeme excuseable : for such a life is beastial , where wee are ignorant of reason ; and better is it to bee ignorant of reason how to preuent death , then to preserue life in ignorance : because i hold it highly monstrous , to dishonour the nice fabrick of a mans body with a brutish soule . the truth is , our discontents of any kinde doe mis-informe our iudgement ; no otherwise then a busie knaue , who ( seeing the bad luck of lawful means ) doth bribe the maiestrate : and neuer was a maiestrate more easily bribed , then is a iudgement ( so oppressed ) corrupted we haue no liberty to knowe , much lesse to iudge ; no reason to discourse , much lesse to put a difference no freedome to conceiue , much lesse to vnderstand , when discontents do trouble vs. they interpose our brightest emine●…ce of wisedom no otherwise then clowdes d●…rken the sunnes glory : they keepe a strong possession against our vertue and all good society . the most significant title they can deserue is treache●…ous : for they breed sensibly an inuocation , begetting in vs a preposterous change ; and that cōmonly proceeds from worse to worse : for being more incorporate with them and their mutations , wee challenge lesse freedome in our selues , to helpe our selues . discontents , like an extreame disease , bee of a shifting nature : they delight cōtinually in motion , as men vehemently sicke doe change their beds & chambers . a discontented man does and vndoes , that hee may doe againe : thinking to loose his humor in variety , or by aduenture ( if by nothing else ) among many changes to make one goodone ▪ but this desire of change corrupts our wisedome with a sencible distraction : for sour stomacks vn-acquainted with a new foode refuse it with many raspings . so likewise our vnderstanding oppressd with new & sudden obiects , doth languish and become affrighted : being not able to digest thinges in order . we shall perceiue a threefold mischiefe which goes inseperate with discontents : for they bee ready to seduce our thoughtes our wordes , our actions : wee mis este●…me , mis - condemne , mis ▪ attempt , through discōtented passions . the reason is manifest : for discontent being the cō●…anion of our thoughts , makes them , our wordes and actions , ruled by that ; and so become vnpleasing , like it selfe : therefore doe male contents vnder-value merite in their owne opinion : therefore ( being waspish ) they detract from worthinesse , therefore they dislike or doe condemne bitterly , and therefore , likewise , doe men thus affected , vndertake more venturously thē wisely . so that salust hath obserued well touching the character of cattlines adhaerents , that they were homines quos flagitium , eg●…stas , aut c●…nsciu animus exagitabat . and questionlesse , such men so inwardly bitten with their owne afflictions , can finde no leasure in themselues to keepe affinity with others . good soueraignes therefore , louing parents , honest friends , loyall subiects , wise maisters , haue been no male-contents : for ( being so ) it is impossible that such a troubled fountaine should send forth any thing but off ensiue tumults . there is nothing more doth make our enimies reioyce , then a deiected spirit , and nothing more afflicts our soule then to be sensible of their reioycings ; therefore doth that experienced prophet dauid so often wish for a deliuerance from their triumph ; ●…o often doth hee lament their insultations . infinite are those aduantages , which may be had against men discontented : as namely secrets may be extorted from , and treasons may be infused vnto them : it cannot otherwise bee : for griefe and sorrow sitting most heauy vpon the vitall partes , doe crush & mortifie the spirits ; which failing to conuey a nourishment to the brain , it presently growes light and spungy , fitted to sucke vpp any new matter , and to haue the old squeasd from it . and therefore hath a melan●…holy spirit some prerogatiue in thi●… respect ; be cause his time of discontent is scarce distinguished from his daily carriage ; for night is sooner visible in an open pallace , then a smoky cottage . i may propound of sorrowes , what celsus doth of cole-worts : being halfe sodden ▪ they are laxatiue ; but twise sodden , they are binding : so discontents beeing but slightly apprehended and entertained , may bee a meanes sitting to prepare the way for honest applications , and to purge security : but being suffered long to bo●…le within vs , they doe confirme their owne , and also stoppe the passage of other worse corruptions . of morall and awa●…ening discontents , the wise salomon spe●…kes , when hee resolues positiuely ; anger is better then laughter , for by a sad looke the heart is made better : melior est i●…a risu : quia per tristitiam vultus ▪ co●…rigitur animns delinquentis : and ( without question ) some natures may be likened to the blacke-thornes , that florish best with haile , storme , and tempest : or to the mackerell which cannot bee awakened and brought vpwards , but with thunder . but some fauourites there bee , so much beholding to fortune , that in a whole age they haue scarce learnt the definition of sorrow . in these men the prouerbe is verified ; f●…oles are fortunate ; and yet agreeable with an honest meaning : for those ( i thinke ) are chiefly boūd to fortune , or prouidence rather who cannot through a good simplicity affect dishonest practises , and close dealings : it being consonant with reason , that men ill-befriended with a subtill braine , should be assisted with some higher policy . all that wee suffer , is by our owne or fortunes worke : wee cannot bee too patient with fortunes , too much prouoked with our owne works of sorrow : when fortune punisheth wee haue no remedy , whē our own indiscretiō punisheth , we may afflict our selues the longer with a wise fury , that we may learne to recollect and to awaken our iudgement . some haue a resolute contempt for all aduersities ; but such a valorous scorne may bee ingendred by sottish ignorance , or an vncapable dulnesse , no otherwise then both may be a drunkards motiues in extreme hazard . as for my selfe i neuer felt a sorrow , which i esteemed a 〈◊〉 , vnlesse it gaue no profitable vse , either by making mee more circumspect & prouident ; or acquainting mee beforehand with my destiny . the most honourable dealing with our worst afflictions , is to confute them by a discourse of braine , and so exercise our knowledge , for our owne aduantage , against the ●…oes of knowledge . and doubtlesse there is enough left in nature ( if wee could apprehend ) to comfort all our troubles : when i say thus i meane enough as wel to settle and confirme a soule shak●…n with vncertaine doubts , as to redeeme a wretch laden with the worlds misery : nay if nature affoords matter enough to confute obiections , she must needes yeeld matter also to remoue sorrowes : for euery sorrow of what kinde soeuer , is nothing but an obiection to the minde , which mans weakenesse cannot answere : as the fortune of a shipwrackt man obiects death of pouerty ; the fortune of a man condemned obiects disgrace ; the disapointed mans fortune , obiects vnlucky dealing , and so the rest : all which i purpose at my leasure to recite in method , & to conuince their bitternes : which will vnless ▪ i be deceiued , create men 〈◊〉 to despise affliction . but in the meane time none among the worst crosses shal predominate , if sometimes in a lawfull humour wee doe crosse our selues : and so begin to learne the difficult māner of denving our le●…d inclinations : which cannot well endure a disapointment ; because they couet a sensuall fruition . if any man thinkes these medcines taedious he , may dyogines his remedy in fewer wordes : fortunae confidentiam , naturae legem , perturbationi rationem obijce : make confidence resist fortune , law resist nature and reason discontents . two bookes of characters . the first booke . character . i. an impudent censurer is the torture-monger of wit , ready for executiō before iudgement . nature hath dealt wisely with him in his outeside ; for it is a priuiledge against confutation , and will beget modesty in you to see him out-face : hee is so fronted with striuing to discountenance knowledge , by the contempt of it , as you would thinke him borne to insolence , though indeed it bee habituall and comes by negligence of his company , which rather seeke to laugh an●… continue , then to reforme his v●…nity . a chimney-sweeper may conuerse with him very safely , without the hazard of blushing : and so may any that will contemne his ignorance : buffets will conuince him better then language or reason : that proues him ranke-bestiall , descended from the walking apes ; which on the mountaines seeme carefull inhabitants , but at your approach the formality of m●…n only . the land-theefe , and sea-captaine , be neuer le●…e out of their way , but wi●…er cōmonly about their obiect : they spare to wound poore tr●…uellers but he incounters any thing not worth eye sight . hee will seeme to cleanse bookes of errors : but take him in his true knowledge , and hee cannot doe so much good 〈◊〉 fellow that sweepes gutters . a wise mans minde gouernes his body his minde is onely restrained by a bodily feare : and if you hope to be released of what he dares , you must inforce him to what he dares not ; and then you shall perceiue him to be the comicall braggard , or the lingling spur . lay aside this medicine and he is incurable , for he is so ra●…isht with his own folly , as hee often commends what he misinterprets , and still dispraises ▪ if he scorne the author ) because hee cannot perceiue . to commend therefore and discommend what he conceiues not , is alike tolerable & equall : neither is it to be admired ●…f he dislikes the soundest workes of a good author : for he regardes not the workes and writings of god himselfe : if he did , he would imbrace charity , and so censure lesse . the wilde arabian comprehends him fully : for as the one , so the other , takes tribute and exaction of all passengers , except acquaintance and familiars : if any thing makes him praise-worthy , this must , or nothing : becauses he seemes ( by this means ) morall in friendship and so in some kinde vertuous : but his applause and detraction , are both odious , because abounding through his meere pleasure : and as some ●…luttish people take pleasure in their owne excrements , and relish the pickings of their nose ; so hee , his owne opinion . when al trades perish , he may turne shop-keeper , and deale with ballance : for in weights and measures none is more deceitfull . hee ponders pithy volumes by the dram or scruple , but small errours by the pound . if he takes courage in his humour , hee haunts the authours company , recites the worke , intends it to some third person , and after he hath damnd the thing in question , he refers himselfe to the right owner ; who , if hee be there manifest , must coniure this deuill quickely , or he will seeme honest , & giue satisfaction : but call his life in question , and he betraies his guiltinesse , which then accuses him of false dealing howsoeuer ; yes , though he hath commented rightly ; for he commends ignorantly , and discommends scandalously . so delighting in his humour , he makes his free-hold an inheritance : put it to the hazard , and he will compound for the title . when he misses the censure of bookes , he proues alway the most harmeles , deriding , impudent , and absurd foole in the company : and he takes it for granted still that euery conceite being his owne is most ingenious — let him adde folly and i grant him . charact : ii. a compleate ▪ man is an impregnable tower : and the more batteries he hath vndergone , the better able he is to continue immoueable the time and he are alwaies friends : for he is troubled with no more then he can well imploy ; neither is that lesse , then will euery way discharge his office ; so he neither surfetts with i●…lenesse , nor action . calamities , and court-preferments doe alike moue him , but cannot remoue him : both challenge from him a conuenient vse , no vilde indeauour , either to swell or dispaire . his religion , learning , and behauiour , hold a particular correspondence : he commands the latter , whilst himselfe and both be commanded by the first . he chuses men as good musitians chuse their vialls ; by sound , rather th●…n by the sight : he may well giue his affections leaue to wander ; for ( like a well-mannd hawke ) they bee alwaies within whistling . hee holdes it presumption to knowe , what should be looked , or thought vpon with wonder ; and therfore rather then he will exceed , he can be lesse then himselfe : accounting it more noble to immitate the friutfull bough which stoopes vnder a pretious burthen ; then applaud the tall eminence of a fruitlesse birch-tree : knowing humility is a fitter step to knowledge , then presumption . he seemes willingly to seeke acquaintance with vice and with temptation , meaning to allure it , til , without suspition , he may soone disrobe and disarme it : like the sunne which enters to the most polluted place●… , but is not any thing the more polluted . or hauing laboured to know the strength of follie , he knowes it to be his capti●…e . from hence proceeds his victorie , in that he can preuent mischiefe , and scorne the aduantage of base●…esse . his wit and apprehension ( like the in 〈◊〉 ayre ) will pierce through lesse cranyes then the pores of a mans bodie . his worthinesse to bee rewarded hee may conceale : but his desire to doe nobly , in a better kinde , his actions will not suffer to bee vnknowne : by which the world can iudge hee deserues , and saue him from the scandall of a cunning hypocrite . if merits direct him in the way to honor , they doe not leaue him in the way to honour , but are his best attendants to accompany his whole preferment : for to deserue what hee obtaines , and to deserue no more is s●…uggish ; to deserue after a thing bestowed , is duely thankefull ; but a continued merit stops accusation . he is thankfull for whatsoeuer , hee receiues by the worlds fauour : and hee neglects no profite which the time affoords , by insufficiency to discerne it or to recompence it : for what hee obserues , passeth through the forge of his wisedome , which refines it ; and the file of his practise , which confirmes it as a good patterne : so the interest exceedes the principall , and ( which exceeds all ) praiseth the vsurer . it may seeme strange that a compleate man is a good carpenter : but ( take my meaning as you list ) his actions are directed by the line and square . the name of guilt ( with him ) is vanished vnder the charme of a good conscience : which with his eye-sight saue his taste a labour : for hee knowes what experience can teach , but is not taught by experience . hee is faithfully his owne friend : and accepts the frienship of others for his owne ●…ake ; but imparts his owne for others . when he loues , hee loues first : from hence hee chalenges a double honour : for loue and priority is a two-folde merit . hee lacks nothing to ingender happinesse ; for he can spare nothing that hee enioyes : he enioyes it so honestly and absolutely . and that hee hath already , serues to purchase new contentment . for as he liues , his capacity is enlarged , though before it were sufficient for his other faculties : they be most numerous when himselfe is nothing : for being dead , hee is thoght worthier thē aliue : then he departs to his aduancement . character . iii. a good husband is the second part of a good man : hee challenges no more nor lesse from art or nature , then doth become his faculty , & giue comfort to his wife ; so he doth not ( by striuing to please ) seeme low minded ; nor by ouer-valuing his properties , proue a tyrant . his behauiour and discourse promise no more then hee meanes , and may very well iustifie . hee is not altogether to be chosen by the cōmon weight or standard ; for his best partes are invisible . a good wife shall know him quickly to bee worth her taking : for hee will first know her worthinesse . he is not therefore put to much trouble of being denied twise : for if hee thinkes he can preuaile amisse , preuaile too soone , or not preuaile , because hee is too good ; hee hath the modesty to refuse first : but otherwise , if opinion dares suspect , and so refuse him first , hee may account it happinesse because hee was refused so soone : hauing ( by that meanes ) escaped one who could not discer●…e him . the honor of a good wife makes him no more vnpractised in the patience of a bad , then if hee conuersed with her : so his vertues be familiar , no●… enforced . the misery of a bad wife likewise hath no more enraged him to discredit all women , thē the worthinesse of a good one hath moued him to bee an idolator : so his blessing is , not to augment his curse , or curse his blessing . the highest end of his mariage premeditated , is to resolue how he may desire it without end . hee feeles not the absence of youth by a decay in lust ; but measures the approach of a crooked body by his entyre and straight affection . hee neither deceiues himselfe with a foolish confidence , nor drawes a disaduantage to himselfe , by being distrustfull : for he may bee acquainted with those , to whome hee safely cannot commit his wealth , much lesse his wiues honesty , but hee neuer suspects , before he be past suspition , and euery thing be apparant . hee hath ( notwithstāding ) no friend whom hee dares not make his deputy : but if he hath not knowledge enough , to chuse a friend that may be trusted ; hee hath no reason to trust a woman . hee seekes rather to bee well known then commonly noted : for being known , hee cannot bee mistaken ; but othewise it is very doubtfull . a good husband ( like the pith which runns in the mid'st of a body ) dissuces himselfe aequally to the circumference : imparting aequall care & loue to wife and children : loue and prouidence be the two coūterpanes of a good husband . he hates not her , but h●…rs ; and that with a hope to make her detest herselfe , not bee diuorced from him : for he couets rather to be daily amending her , then make a new hazard , or want resolutiō . hee may dislike therefore his wiues humour ▪ and loue her in the same quantity . hee cannot bee chosen , because a better is absent , for you may find in himselfe the practitioner and pattern . hee cannot therfore be refused , if he bee well known : for being good , hee proues the best and being so , the best husband . character . iiii. a contented man is a faire building in the bottome of a valley : you may discerne nothing about him , vnlesse you approach neere , and nothing in him worth himselfe , vnlesse you doe proceed . there is no land like vnto his owne conscience : that makes him sowe and reape together : for actions bee ( with him ) no sooner thoughts , then they proue comforts , they be so full of innocence . his life therfore is a continuall haruest : his countenance and conuersation promise hope ; they both smile vpon their obiect : neither doth the end faile his purpose : for his expectation was indifferent and equall , according to the meanes . events therefore cannot oppresse him ; for hee propoūded all , before he vndertook some ; and sawe the extreamest point of danger , before hee did imbarque . he medles no further with vncertainties , then losse & lucre be alike in accident : for doubtfull thinges of moment , make men stagger , whilst hope and feare distracts them . if probable & lawfull meanes deceiue him , they cannot trouble him : for he ascribes nothing to himselfe , that is aboue him . when gods determinations doe therfore disappoint ; he neither maruailes , nor mis-interprets . neglected fortunes , and things past , hee leaues behinde ; they cannot keep pace with him . the necessity of thinges absent , hee measures by his meanes : but as for things impossible , hee could neuer beg in to affect them . and in the quest of future proiects , hee neuer doth transgresse the present comfort . hee can with as much selfe-credit be a captiue , as a promoted courtier . dignities may doe him honour , not entice him : pouerty may threaten , & be peremptory , but cannot ouer-come . riches may make his honesty more eminēt , not more exquisite : he cousens the world in his behauiour ; and when hee seemes disconsolate , he is best contented . he is so far from adding malice to any , that he can praise the merits of an enimy ; without grudging . anger and reuenge be two turbulent passions : in him ( therefore ) the first shewes only that he can apprehend : the last , that he can iustly preuent further mischefe . so hee neither doth insult through anger ; nor satisfie his bitternesse by reuenge . repentance , which with some proues melancholly , with him proues a delightfull assurance : for seldome doth hee lament thinges meerely vicious , so much as vertues imperfectly attemped . he vndertakes euery thing with more aduantage , then any ( but himselfe ) can imitate : for being voyd of troublesome vexation , his willing minde makes the way lesse difficult . his policie and close dealing doe not disturbe his time of pleasure , or his quiet dreames : for he can awake with as much delight in day , and sleepe with as much solace in the darke , as either his intimate purpose can awake to euery mans applause ; or he concealed to his owne safetie , and no mans detriment . hee doth not readily incurre anothers rage ; nor doth he raile against himselfe ; for he cannot bee before hand with quarrelsome engagements ; n●…r rashly run into a manyfest error . he doth not therefore ( when all approue him ) miscall himselfe , closely , damned hypocrite , or lewd villaine . he feeles more felicitie in this , that he can forbeare to enioy any thing , rather then let ▪ any thing enioy him ; or rather then he will enioy any thing indirectly . he is not so selfe ▪ subsisting that he scornes to borrow ; so shamelesse , that he borrowes all : nor so alone contented , that others doe not partake in his freedome : or so absolute in freedome , that he becomes not more absolute by the vse of others . he resembles the parish bells ; which keepe the same tune at mariages and funeralls : so a contented man obserues the same musicke of content , either in occ●…sion of ioy or sadnes . he makes more ill meanings good , by good construction , more haplesse euents honest by a lawfull confidence , and more dangerous vndertakings easie , by a calme proceeding , then the contrary . for ( whilst he knowes iealousie as a fearefull , eating , and distastfull vice ) hee cannot suspect without the cautions of why , whom , how , where and when . briefly , being contented , he is content to be happy ; and being so , hee thriues best when hee thinkes best : he does more then he vndoes . he wins more often then he saues : & , like the caspian sea , remaines the same vnchangeable . charact . v. a good emperour is the second sauiour to christianity , and a direct center of his peoples loue : his greatnesse extends , rather to posterity , then is confident of pedigree . he may be counselled or confirmed , but his election remaines peculiar . his obiect therefore ( to discerne ) may be infinite , or extra●…agant ; but paterns ( to imitate ) must be supernal ; for he acknowledges but one supremacy and in that remembers a succession : which makes him leaue mans precepts vnto frailty , view honor as as thing mediate , himselfe immediately next to his creator , and doth onely know his high commission a determinable power , not know and murmure . he doth afflict ( like lightning ) neuer but when he is resisted . he lackes nothing of diuinitie , but time in his prerogatiue , the want of which takes away eternitie : so all the honour which relates to him for gods sake , conueighes it selfe to god for his owne . his feare doth vanish into loue or anger ; for he may embrace or conquer , but cannot submit . he preserues many whom he might destroy ; but he destroyes none whom he should preserue : for ( like a medicine ) he doth not naturally draw blood . his royall bounty is as well prompt to take with honour , as to giue with liberty . and as he can deserue nothing because on him depends euery thing : so is he not by any man to be deserued , because vnto him euery man owes his whole inheritance . if therefore he doth forgiue where subiects doe condemne ; or chuse when multitudes abandon ; he doth but manifest his free desires , and show affinity betwixt himselfe & holines , which rayses from the d●…ng hil to the commanding fortune and from the most obscure disdaine of vulgar thoughts vnto the state of happinesse . nay oftentimes this secret in publick offices proues true , that men without the ayd of birth , and glory of famous merit , lack only so good an entrance , but haue commonly a better ending : or at least , striue more to attaine what others presume vppon . the euent therefore makes his large prerogatiue true wisedome , which may be mis-interpreted weaknesse . the lyon , a king of beasts , is recouered in sicknesse , by eating an ape ; and a good king by deuouring flatterers . he is the same briefly to his kingdome , that * marius was among the tigurines : all perishes without him . charact : vi. a worthy poet is the purest essence of a worthy man : he is confident of nature in nothing but the forme , and an ingenious fitnesse to conceiue the matter . so he approues nature as the motiue , not the foundatiō or structure of his worthinesse . his workes doe every way pronounce both nourishment , delight , and admiration to the readers soule : which makes him neither rough , effeminate , nor windy : for by a sweet contemperature of tune and ditty , hee entices others to goodnesse ; and shewes himselfe perfect in the lesson . hee neuer writes vpon a full stomacke , and an empty head ; or a full head , and an emptie stomacke . for he cannot make so diuine a receptacle , stoope to the fordid folly of gal or enuy , without strength : or strength of braine stoop , and debase it selfe with hunting out the bodies succour . he is not so impartiall as to condemne euery new fashion , or taxe idle circumstance ; nor so easie as to allow vices , and account them generous humours . so he neither seekes to enlarge his credit of bitternesse , by a snarling seueritie ; nor to augment his substance by insinuating courtship . he hath more debtors in knowledge among the present writers , then creditors among the ancient poets . hee is possessed with an innocent liberty , which excludes him from the slauish labour and meanes of setting a glosse vpon fraile commodities . whatsoeuer therfore proceeds from him , proceedes without a meaning to supply the worth , when the worke is ended ; by the addition of preparatiue verses at the beginning ; or the dispersed hire of acquaintance to extoll things indifferent : neither does he passionatly affect high patronage , or any , further then he may giue freely ; and so receiue backe honest thankes . the dangerous name and the contempt of poets , sprung from their multitude of corruptions , proues no disaduantage or terrour to him : for such be his antidotes that hee can walke vntouched , euen through the worst infection . and indeed that mountebanks preparing oyle which kept his hands vnscalded , was a toy of nothing to this poets rarity of discretion , which so prepares his minde , that he can bathe it in the strains of burning lust , fury , malice , or despight , and yet be neuer scalded , or endangerd by them . he only among men is neerest infinite : for in the * scenicall composures , of a tragedy or comodie he shewes the best resemblance of his high creator : turning his quicke passions , and witty humors to replenish and ouercome , into matter and forme as infinite , as gods pleasure to diversifie mankinde . he is no miserable selfe-louer , nor no vnbounded prodigall : for he can cōmunicate himselfe wisely to avoyd dull reseruednesse , but not make euery thought common , to maintaine his market . it must be imputed to his perfect eye-sight , that he can see error , and auoy de it without the hazard of a new one : as in poems , so in proiects , by an easie coniecture . hee cannot flatter , nor be flattered : if hee giues desert , he giues no more ; and leaues hyperbole in such am a ter of importance : as for himselfe , he is so well knowne vnto himselfe , that neither publicke fame , nor yet his own conceite , can make him ouervalued in himselfe . hee is an enemy to athiests ; for he is no fatist nor naturalist : hee therefore excludes lucke and rime , from the acceptance of his poems ; scorning to acknowledge the one as an efficient , the other as an essence , of his muses fauour . hee paies backe all his imitation with interest ; 〈◊〉 his authors ( if reuiued ) would confesse their chiefe credit w●…s to be such a patterne : otherwise ( for the most part ) he proues himselfe the patterne , and the proiect in hand : siluer onely and sound mettall comprehends his nature : rubbing , motion , land customary vsage , makes the brightnesse of both more eminent . no meruaile though he be immortall , seeing he conuerts poyson into nourishment ; euen the worst obiects and societies to a worthy vse . when he is lastly silent ( for he cannot die ) hee findes a monument prepared at others cost and remembrance , whilst his former actions bee a liuing epitaph . charact : ii. an honest lawyer . is a precious diamond set in pure gold , or one truly honest , and a compleate lawyer : the one giues glory to the other ; and being diuided , they be lesse valuable . diuinity , and corrected nature , make him habituall in the first , but studious labor , and a discursiue braine make him equall , if not absolute , in the last ▪ he knowes law to be the mris . of man , and yet he makes honesty the mris of the law. the first therforemay exceed the last ; but the last neuer hath predominance in him , without the other . he is too diuine to be tempted with feare , fauor , minerals , or possessions ; and too diuine not to be tempted with perfect knowledge , and a pittifull complaint : he hath as much leasure to dispute with conscience , in the most busie terme , as in the deadest vaction : and he is alwaies more diligent to maintaine wronged pouerty , then attentiue to allow iniurious greatnesse : he can as freely refuse a prodigall , or enforced bounty , as hee can accept or demand due recompence : he resorts , to london with a more full braine , then empty bags , and ( at his returne ) he purses vp more full comfort , then yellow coine . he cannot be so consident as to persist in error ; nor so ignorant as to erre by weaknes : when therefore ( through an aboundance ) some knowledge is confounded , his errour onely proues a doubtful question ; and serues to reduce scattred remna●…ts into method . the multitude of contentions ma●…e not him reioyce in the number , but in the difficulty ; that truth may appeare manifest to our progeny . he railes not against the vices of his profession , but makes his profession commendable by his owne practise of vertue : his clients disease of being suspended , touches him like his owne sicknes ; hee dares not giue a dangerous purgation to dispatch him , nor by negligence and delay , let the eui●…l grow inward & incorporate , to strengthen it selfe , or consume the patient . he is therefore exquisite in preseruatiues against the consumption ; though perhaps he may faile in restoratiues ●…o support weakenesse . he may wel bee a president to the best physitians ; for he vndertakes no cure when he perceiues it inclining to be desperate : nay rather he is a true subiect , that feares and scornes to meddle with counterseit peeces , further then to resolue being askd ( as goldsmiths are ) whether they will endure the test. so hee makes the cause , & not his client , the obiect of his labour . if he haue fauour enough to make truth be currant , he looks no further : which he needs not to patch businesse ; nor would he willingly persue it : if truth were not often discountenanced . he doth therfore at a iudges death lament the death of his learning not his owne priuate lucre : he can ride the circuit , and scorne to be circular . he hath no leasure to protract time or saue his clients opinion with iests premeditated , or windy inferences : his modesty was neuer below his courage in a good cause , nor his courage inclining to impucence , though he were still honored with a prosperous euent . he owes so much worship to desert & innocence , that he can as faithfully applaud sufficient worth , as not insult ouer , or exclaime against dull ignorance . he is miraculously preserued against incantations : the strongest spell cannot charme him silent , nor the most tēpting spirit prouoke him to a vaine pleading . he dares know & professe in spight of potency ; hee dares be rich and honest in despight of custome : and if he doth not grow from a good man , to a reuerend title , hee scornes to bee a traytor and blame tyranny which ouerslips deseuings ; but he descends below his owne vnworthinesse . briefly , he is a precious vessell ; he indures the rest and the defiance of time : hee is a sound commodity which neuer failes the customer : and doth hartily confesse that whosoeuer swarues from this patterne , swarues from honesty , though hee be deepely learned : howsoeuer , he thinks a lawyer deepely learned cannot chuse but bee honest ; except multitude of clients oppresse him . charact . viii . a detractor is his owne priuate foe , and the worlds professed enemy : hee is indeed an obstinate heretick , and if you will conuert him , you must a new create him likewise : hee is of the mahametan sect which hath despised all religious arts & sciences , except the confusion of all : so he approues continually the worst thinges among many good , & cōdemnes that which is iudiciously commended : to read therfore and refuse , makes vp the best part of his iudgement . he hath an* impediment in his language proceeding from his heart ; which makes him that he cannot speak well of any man. his fiue sences haue a mortall combat with all obiects , that afford sence , or any thing vpon which they fasten : his eye could neuer yet behold a woman fair enough , or honest enough , on whom he might bestow the sincere part of his affection : but he marries one to beget an equall society of froward children : his eare was neuer well contented with a delicious tune , for the left is onely open , and that onely apt to conceiue discords , through a customary habit ; which hath reiected all , & therefore will : for that he once hath , and is againe minded to discredit worthinesse , giues him both reason & encouragement to continue spightfull : but ( to our comfort be it spoken ) his enuy ends cōmonly with himselfe , or at most , indeauors not otherwise then a nasty passenger , to rub against , and defile faire outsides , because himselfe is loathsome : hee stopps his nose if a perfume approach , but can well indure a stinking draft , or kennell , and embrace the sauour : his palate hath no relish except hee may discommend his dyet , and yet hee consumes all to the very fragments : hee touches or takes vp nothing which is not blasted by him with a naturall dislike ; or at least hee will vtter the manifest forme of discontent . you must beleeue him sick or cloy'd with sweet meats : for his iudgement being out of tast , he cānot relish . his tongue , the herald of his imagination , is a busie officer , and will ( without questiō ) challenge the same reward of him , that it doth of women , for it dispatcheth the same seruice , and deserues therfore ( proportionably alike ) to be called the maine property of each : hee is not inferiour also to a woman in malice ; for she is that way limited to some persons , though vndeterminable in spight : but hee transcends ; accounting it his pompe to bee infinitely licentious towards all . hee railes against the state , and speakes treasons confidently to himselfe alone , expecting an euent of his desires : nay , sometimes hee is taken ( through the licence of his tongue , & a little sufferance of the company ) in peremptory speeches that bring to his answere : neither will he hearken to reformation , till hee lackes his eares : hee is not ( if a church-man ) ashamed to quarrell , first with his patron , and openly disclaim against the poor value of his benefice : if , a common humorist , hee will diminish the worth likewise of a guift , before the giuers face ; & lookes to the disconueniences , not the commodity , hee getts by possession : if he commends any man ( which is a great wonder ) hee presently after will recite the speciall fauour & bounties he hath receiued by him . a slight arithmetician may cast vp the totall summe of his character : and by substraction ( being the body of his soule ) may finde him vnder the value of an honest mā , aboue halfe in halfe : for hee lackes charity , and so comes short of a good christian : and therefore is an egregious coward because he scornes to iustifie , except hee railes against the dead ; thither he hastens being vnworthy to liue longer : and as dyogenes hath long since resolued , hee is the worst among wilde beastes , none excepted . charact . ix . an humorist is the scorne of vnderstanding , the traytor to reason , or the vanity of a better man : bloud-letting , a good whip , honest company , or reasonable instructions might ( at the first ) recouer him . but if hee continues among laughing spirits one quarter , the disease will growe inward , and then the cure growes desperate . if his humour be heriditary , hee is more familiar with it , and makes it the principall vertue of his family : if imitation breeds a habite , he makes it the pledge of sworne brother-hood , or at least the fauour of new acquaintance : hee neuer is infected single , or with one humour onely ; for either he is now admitted to the seuerall orders ; or hee is prompt enough to subscribe generally when occasion peeps . you must not dare to discommend , or call in question , his behauiour seriously with his companions ; for though you cānot call the humor lawfull , it is sufficient if you can call it his humour . you may iustly forbeare to restraine him ; for if hee be truely adopted , he thinkes it an especiall part to be respectlesse . tobacco is a good whetstone for his property : hee doth seldome therefore forget to prouoke his constitution this way : and ( by being insariate ) he knowes well his humour may escape the search of reason , by vertue of the mist. he hath from his cradle bin swadled vp , with much obstinate & peremptory affectation : it being indeed cōmonly the character of his ripest age , to support that freely in his man-hood , which was forbidden in the spark of his minority : hee neuer slips oportunity with deliberation ; hee is therefore prompt enough to begin , and the reason of his act is enough , though onely that hee hath begun ; because humour is the motiue . there is nothing within the compasse of thought so triuiall , so absurd , and monstrous , which his vanity will not auerre to be ponderous , decent , & naturall . neither will hee abhor to iustifie them by his owne practise , against all opposers . he trauailes vp and downe like tom of bedlam , vnder the title of mad rascali , witty rogue , or notable mad slaue : and these attributes bee a more effectuall oratory to applaud his humour , then a direct cōmendation . he will not sometimes ( vpon small discontinuance ) vouchsafe to acknowledge , or ( at least ) know , his familiar friendes , without much impertinence and interrogatories of their name , or habitation : whilst another time , hee dares aduenture his knowledge , & salutations vpon meer aliens . hee is very much distracted , and yet i wonder how the frenzy should bee dangerous ; for hee neuer breaks his braine about the study of reason or inuention : seeing his humor is the priuiledge of both : it is therfore sufficient for him to bee extreame melancholly , and most ignorant of the cause or obiect ; and suddenly to bee vnmeasurably frollick without prouocation : whilst he is onely beholding to a brainlesse temperature in discharge of his credit . he will conuerse freely with seruing-men and souldiers within . houres ; & presently when the ague hath once seized him , hee proues tyrannicall and insolent towards the silly vermin . he neuer brake a vow in his whole life , or brake vowes continually : for eyther they haue not suited with his varietie , to bee intended , or hee hath intended to keepe them no longer then might agree with his body which , ebbes and flowes when hee growes old , and past voyce , hee learnes forraigne languages : as if when he had dined , he would deuoure the dishes . in a word hee is a chiefe commander of new actions , but no commander of himselfe ; being in his best brauerie but a turkish slaue , euer subiect to desire and appetite : according to their paterne , he is himselfe to himselfe praise-worthy , or elegant ; but to worthinesse it selfe , odious . character . x. a weake-brain'd gull is a needelesse ornament : and yet an ornament to make wiser men more accounted . some call him a petulant neat youth ; i rather thinke him a glasse bottle in a gilded case : that is , a fayre outside with a braine easily broken . hee takes the vpper hand of a foole , nay of a wise man also ; and in opinion is as good as a courtier . according to platoes definition hee is no man. plato defined a man to be a two-legd creature , hauing broade talents without feathers ; but this aboue named gull weares feather enough to hide a helmet . his education hath bin ( from a child ) tenderly fearefull ; and the mother remaines still afraide of his fortunes , least his politick wisedome should hazard them too farre : whilst his fortunes hazard his wisedom . he hath beene alwayes a yong master , and yoked his eares first to insinuation , vnder some oylie tong'd seruant , or flattering tutor . hee continues loue no longer then hee finds a fellow consenting to his vaine-glory : the dislike of which sooner then any thing makes him to be cholericke , to resolue and fight perhaps : but otherwise to know hee hath rich kindred , and to deriue a pedegree ; satisfie his valor , learning , proficience in estate or credit with meere contemplation . so much indeede doth hee hang vppon the pillars of his gentrie , as it shall therefore be the first preparatiue of his acquaintance to salute , and aske what countrey-man your father is , of what house : or hee will enquire his demesnes onely ( of some neighbour : ) and if your body be hansome , your cloathes proportionable , your parents wealthy ; he hath purchased an euerlasting friend in the beginning . a round oath is valour enough , a foolish dittie art enough , and good fellowshippe honesty enough . he should be bought vp in italy ( among the butchers ) for an english calfe : because hee carries his whole prise and value about him . the truth is , hee scornes to bee a searcher , and thinkes it enough for his taylor to meddle with linings . but in the circumstāce of making your cloathes , the price of your beauer and silke stockins , your purpose to trauaile , or of your long absence ; the spanish inqnisition cannot be so vnmercifull . hee is contented richly , nay absolutely , to be taken onely for a harmlesse man. suppose he hath now left the vniuersitie , and bringes a little dreame of logicke from the colledge ; being ariued at london , hee stickes a feather in his hat ; and it is all one as if he had fastened it in his head : for his braine , from that day foreward becomes broken . the generositie and noble carriage of ●…is discourse , is to run desperatly into the name of some couragious gallant knight , or some 〈◊〉 in fauour : if their alliance ●…o his family can be detected he ●…iues way with an apparant re●…ish . the wisest action that euer 〈◊〉 atempted , was to spare much 〈◊〉 in discourse by fingering ●…is beard or bandstrings : and if ●…e bestowes much on tobacco ●…e cannot be blamed much : for ●…t hath many times freed him from the discredit of a non plus . he is very well fitted for all societies , if his outside be sutable ; further thē which he neuer connersed with himselfe effectually . nor can i wonder , though hee payes deerely , and preserues cloaths delitiously ; seeing those alone are the maintenance of his whole worth ; and therefore you shal perceiue him more furiously ●…ngaged about the rending of his doublet , or a little lace , then a magnanimous box , or a bastinado : and he will enter into a tauerne at the foreside , though hee might goe a neerer way , onely to discouer his gold lace and scarlet . if his bands & cuffs be sun-burnt they wil not much mis-become him : for hee thinkes himselfe an vnlucky asse , if a painted beauty doth not shine vpon him . he is ambitiously giuen to bee promoted , either by some embassage to divulge his pedigree , & learne fashions , or by entertainment of some chiefe noble-mē to discouer his bounty : but his worst ambition is to salute the next coach or foot-cloth : and hee thinkes verily that the prize of a florishing salutation winns more credit then his beauer . he will hang out at the tauerne window as commonly as the signe ; that hee may see naked brests and veluet linings passe along ; & wrap their graces in his fancy till the next sunns-rising . hee shifts his familiars by the suruey of prospect , and externals ; but his directions proceed from the prouerbe of like to like , rathet then physiognomy . hee is credulous & con●…ident : the lesse certainty he hath of a report , the more publicke hee is , and peremptory . hee cōmits the best part of his vnderstanding to a talkati●…e barber : with whome he is the more frequent ; because he thinks to haue a curle-pate , is to haue a visible wit. he studies a new fashion by the six months together : and reades albertus magnus , or aristatles problemes in english , with admiration . hee would bee phisicall , and iustly ; for not to preserue his folly in health , were to deceiue the world of his pattern : but being merry for disgestion , his laughter is exorbitant causelesse , endlesse , & like himselfe : but fooles of his owne fashion praise him , for a witty gentleman , or a gentlemanly fellow . his safest course will be to marry : nothing makes him so sencible as a wife , good or bad ; till then , the further hee flies from his caracter , hee becomes it the more naturally . charact : xi . a ranke obseruer is his owne comoedy , and his own audience : for whatsoeuer he frames by experience , hee applaudes by custome : but being out of his element , he is an eele in a sand bag ; for hee , wanting the humor of his wrested obseruance , falles away into ignorant silence . hee is arrogant in his knowledge so far , as hee ( thinks ) to study men , will excuse him from the labour of reading , and yet furnish him with absolute rarities , fit for all fashions , all discourses . he is a very promis cuous fellow ; and from thence proceeds the vice which makes him without difference , cōprehend ponderous & triuiall passages vnder the same degree of value or estimation . for whatsoeuer becomes his politicke vent , becomes his vnderstanding . when hee doth therefore fill vp the vessell of his conceits , he hath regard to such things as may bee vttered with most aduātage , either of money among the players , or reput●…tiō among the general gallants of our cittie . he takes account of all hu mours , and through the practise of a contempt to all , he partakes in al : for he vses what he derides vnder the priuiledge of scorne , and so makes it familiar . so the largest benefite which others reape , by contemning the vice in himselfe , arises beyond his purpose or intention : for he extends to others no further then agrees with his owne greedy constitution ; meaning to credit or enrich himselfe , not amend others : by which meanes all his goodnesse is accidentall . he doth ( notwithstanding ) in some poynts resemble vertue ; but in the worst manner . for being impartiall , he playes the tyrant ; and sels the vices of his dearest friends to discouery , by playes or pamphlets , but is content that they should still reserue them to their future infamy : so he becomes sooner excluded oftentimes from society , then his flattering shifts can readily repaire . flattery and insinuation be indeed the number of his thriuing moral vertues , through which ( vnder a pretence of faire meaning ) he takes occasion to betray the marrow of mans variety : and this affoords fuell for his bitter derision . his table-bookes be a chiefe adiunct , and the most significant embleme of his owne quallity , that man may beare about him : for the wiping out of olde notes giue way to new : and he likewise , to try a new dispositiō , will finally forsake an ancient friends loue : because hee consists of new enterprises . he makes the best he can of witty turnings ; and therfore hee spares conceits worth naming in company , to make a further benifit . if you desire to know a man of this profession ; you must a while obserue him , and he will presently shew himselfe after two meetings : for he will then talke ( as it were ) by a chatechisme of discourse : keeping a certain forme of lāguage as if he durst not go beyond the circle . his capacity is appehensiue in a strange measure : if hee were lesse capable , he might be more commended . for hee i●…croches often vpon admittance ( where thinges be well deliuered ) to multiply his obseruation & he will verifie things , through a scandalous 〈◊〉 , as if they were now committed . if hee conuerts to a deseruing quality , hee will propound the credit of a good meaning no stipend for his vain discoueries . till thē , he must indure to be suspected , or odious , whilst hee whispers closely among free companiōs : neither must he hope to amend this age or himselfe ; because hee neuer intended the first , and the last he forgets ( though he intended it ) through vain-glory as beeing transported with this pride onely , that he hath obserued , and can obserue againe . briefly hee resembles a foolish patient , who takes a costiue pill to loosen his body : for whilst he meanes to purge himself by obseruing other humors , he practises them by a shadow of mockage , and so becomes a more fast corruption : if he doth not therfore feele the disease , hee dies hid●… bound . charact . xii . a simple polititian is a purblind fox , that pretends machiauell should be his sire : but he proues a mungrell : he was taken from schoole before he had learned true latine ; and therefore in triuiall things only , he partakes with craftinesse ; because hee lacks true breeding , and true bringing vp . hee labours commonly for opinion where hee is so well known that opinion woulde persecute him , without labour : he thinkes religion deceiues most vnsuspected and therefore hee first seemes to bee a zealous christian. the church is a principall parte of his deuotion ; and to be a frequēt auditor , or outwardly attentiue is a sure defence ( hee thinkes ) a gainst capitall errour . hee is openly kinde-hearted ; cries god forbid . amen , christ be his comfort . but rather then he will seeme apuritune , with indifferent companions , hee can breake an obscene iest , be wanton , sociable or any thing till hee conuerse with a presitian by whome hee hopes to saue : thē his eyes roule vpward , his hands are eleuated , commiserating tearmes be multiplid , with sighes innumerable : then hee rayles against the wicked , whome a little before hee heartily saluted . and after some paraphrase vppon the verse of such an euangelist , apostle , or prophet , hee dismisses the puritan , that he may laugh heartily . he is therefore much like a bookesellers shoppe on bartholomew day at london ; the stalls of which are so adornd with bibles and prayer-bookes , that almost nothing is left within , but heathen knowledge . his minde and memorie put on the same vizard of greatnesse , which makes him so much incline to the posture of weighty labors , that he giues no attention to things openly recited , though they actually possesse him . to bee imployed therefore for a noble-man , is ( to him ) an infinite trouble , and begets imployment with all acquaintance to discouer it : so the bare meanes to make men think hee is much entertained , costs a time equall to his occurrents . being to bee visited ( though by sure clients ) he hath the roome of attendance , the art of delay , and a visage that seems pittifully interrupted . if he rides to dispatch , the horses be early sadled and brought into the foreside , that neighbours may obserue , when after fiue or six houres expectation , hee comes like one that was detained by vrgent importunacies . if the company be pleased to laugh at his inhaerent folly ; he doth by and by assure you ; giue mee a sudden iest or nothing ; some vse your printed iest , i cannot endure it . his best materials to worke vpon , bee time , and place ; which if they affoord circumstance to let yon vnderstand his new purchase , his new buildings , the great marriage of his children , or entertainment of high personages , or bountie towards an hospitall , it comes freely and fitly , if openly . when occasions trouble him a little , he loues to trouble himselfe extreamly ; and thinkes it a poynt of reaching pollicie , to reproue or amend that formally , which hath beene allowed by singular good iudgments . if hee dares ( with priuiledge of the hearers ignorance ) disparage worth in any , hee takes leaue of the occasion , and his own policie . this he takes in honour of his courtship to shew hee can be ambitious ; and build on others ruines : but this proclaymes him a starued cannib●…ll ; who , through the famin of desert , supplies worthinesse with his owne excrement of detraction . his desire and audacitie are at open strife ; when hee would hut dares not commend himselfe , by correcting anothers facultie : then with a strained laughter , and a willing palsie in his head , hee seemes to 〈◊〉 somwhat is vnsetled ; or he makes his elbow signifie . that somthing wants his finger . his complements are at libertie his friendship lies locked vp in prison ; the key whereof he hath lost willingly . for if you call him friend before he hath wrested the aduantage of an enemy , hee leaues you destitute , but more happy then you beleeue . if hee can seeme to forget your countenance , hee intends that you must thinke him deuoted to thinges aboue you , or that his braine labours : and vppon this ground he walkes when hee neglects your salutations , or takes no notice of your person . briefly , he is a man of this daies profit ; he respects nothing without double interest , and that by compulsion . hee is a weake foe , a weaker friend , or the generall shadow of a wiser man. charact xiii . a spend-thrift is a man eu●…r needy , neuer satisfied , but ready to borrow more then hee may be trusted with : the question of him will bee , whether his learning ( if he hath any ) doth out ballance his braine , & so becomes a burthen ; or whether both be crept into his outward sences : certainely his intellectuals of wit , and wisdome , may bee manifest , but are ( like the seauen starrs ) seldome seen together ; they mutually succeed as hauing vow'd to gouerne by course : whilst wit raignes , excesse , and ryot hath the vpper hand : but when hee recollects himselfe , he is wholy metamorphosed ; wit giues place , and his extreme of wisedom , disclaimes the smile of a merry countenance . his only ioy is to domineere , bee often saluted , & haue many creditors : his lordships lye among the drawers , tobacco-men , brokers , and panders : but aduersity makes him leaue company , & fal●… to house-keeping , and then his seruants be vanished into sergeants . i dare protest doctor anthony will not make aurum potabile like a spend-thrift : the truth is , a spend-thrift can dissolue a monarchy of gold if hee had it . his onely flatterers bee conceite & fancy , which charge memory the steward , to bring no accompts in till they be casheerd ; which cannot bee whilst imitation is his captaine , or credite his corporall . he wooes creditors , as gentlemē a faire sempstres : he will promise much and mean nothing : for he distributes his words as cōmonly do printers . he dreams of being lord chiefe iustice , or at least being eminent , though hee liues dissolutely ; and hath no saint but fortune . he is , and euer will be a quarter behind with frugality ; in which volume he cannot bee perfect , because the book is imperfect : for hee still rendes out the beginning of his lesson ; being not able to begin a thrifty course . his heauen vpon earth is a faire mistresse ; and though his means be large , yet his principall sorrow is the lacke of maintenance . hee is scarce any part of a christian till hee goes to prison : and then perhaps hee enters into religion : if he doth not , i am sure hee is dead in law and turnes cloister-man . the misery of his sence is an old mā , and his fathers life troubles him not a little : almanackes therefore which foretell the death of age , bee very acceptable . the hurly burly of his braine is infinite , & he scarcely knomes what hee may freely make an election of . hee is most truly like a broken lace , or seame-rent cloake ; ready to bee taken hold of , as he walkes along , by euery ctooked naile & tenter-hook . his worst bawd is too good a nature , which makes him incident to false applauses , and carue his soule out among his familiars : hee hath multitudes of deere acquaintāce , but his deerest frends are ready to stabbe him : for either those whom hee accompts so , bee men of fashion ; or those who bee indeed so , desire his death , because they see no amendment . hee is in great request , & much enquired ; being like a dangerous booke still about to bee called in : for hee is no sooner out of one prison but he is called into another . hee scornes to acknowledge his debts , but as things of duty , with which mechanickes are ( as he thinkes ) bound to vphold high birth and gentry : but the end proues otherwise . his downefall therfore is not admired , because hee was euer falling ; and his bare excuse , makes experience the shadowe . briefly , hee may seem a treacherous friend ; for hee deales dishonestly with all that challenge intrest in him ; they bee his creditors : and yet hee deales more louingly with them , then with himselfe ; for when he paies them , he punisheth himselfe : if he cannot pay , hee is punished more then they ; and punished enough , because hee cannot pay : for then hee consumes . charact : xiiii . a ubiquitary is a iourney-man of all trades , but no sauer because no ●…etter-vp : hee would be an epitome of arts , & all things , but is indeed nothing lesse then himselfe : if an itchy taylor gaue him not his making , hee had ( i thinke ) perpetually been vnmade : for if hee scrat●…h his head , the body cals him ; if the body , then his elbow ; if his elbow , then again the body ; if the body , then the head itches : so neuer quiet , neuer constant , still doing , still about to doe the same , remaines my dooer doing nothing . the worst of dog-dayes was his birth-day when fleas abonnded , which ( from his cradle ) haue so bitten him , as till his death he must be tickled . the worme of giddinesse hath crept into his priuate purposes : euery houre , almost , giues him a new being , or , at least , the purpose to bee an other thing then hee is . so that i might almost say of him as * scaliger saith of locus ; that he is quodammodo ens , quodammodo nō ens . if a coūtry life inuites him hee yeelds : the court requests him , hee yeelds likewise : but then disgrace averts him to his study ; a library is gottē : by this time loue hath struck him , & he adores the saint : but then some play declames against this loue ; hee quickly is perswaded , & followes poetry . thus my vagabond of vanity is from post to pillar transported , because hee trauels without a perfect licē●…e . you shall soone discern him by his arguments and reasons ; they ( for the principalls ) flow from one fountaine of ignotance : for all his proofe depends vpon i thinke so , euery man saith so all dislike it : his very conuersation is infectious , but neuer frustrate : for eyrher you must follow him , and that way you must looke to be a looser : or he will follow you , & then resolue that your intention thriues but badly . no obiect , no societie , season , thought , or language , comes amisse , or vnexpected : his pollicie therefore seekes to be rather frequent then effectuall ; to run about the world daily , then trauell seriously ; to see a multitude , before societie ; and gesse at much , rather then know a little . in his discourse he daunces all trades , and flies from field to thicket , as being hunted by an ignis fatuus . talke of academies and hee tels you court-newes : search into the estate of a question , and he tels you what new booke is extant . if you discourse he still desires the conclusion ; and is attentiue rather to the sequell , then careful to vnderstand the premisses . in his behauiour he would seeme french , italian , spanish , or any thing , so he may seeme vn-vulgar ; accounting it barbarous not to contemne his owne nation , or the common good , because hee loues to bee more valued by seeming singularly pretious : his diuerse habit onely discouers him to be true english : and to bee weary of the place , colours his employment : to liue ( with him ) is all vanitie ; and that life alone his deerest happinesse : his death therefore may bee some-what doubtfull , because with it hee hath no beeing . character . x. a gamester is fortunes vassaile , temptations anuile , or an * out-landish text , which may be soone transtated into cheaters english : he affects gaming from a schoole-boy ; and superstitiously fore-thinks how his minde giues him . the elements of fire , earth , and aire , be with him alike predominant ; he is inflamed with rage , melancholy with thoughts , iouiall with fortune : but hee neuer weeps in sorrow or repentance : when he looses little , you must know he looses much , for hee loues that any man should coniecture he is able : but though his lucke be infinite to win aboundance , yet can he seldome haue the lucke to purchase . if he quarrels , you may protest hee looses , and he must scramble or be b●…aton ere hee can bee quiet : if he make peace you must meet him in the winning way ; and then you might more safely swagger with him : he loues his owne aduantage well enough to be a lawyer , but would make a most preposterous iudge . the seauen deadly sinnes sleep in his pocket ; and hee neuer drawes money but the noise awakes them . pride , lechery , sloth , and gluttony , be his sabboth sinnes , which ( out of gettings ) he employes on festiuals , and sundayes . blaspemy and murther play the drawers with him , and bring the fearefull reckoning of his losses ; and in steed of vsury , theft plaies the scriuener to furnish him with money : he can both fast , and watch , and yet is farre enough from being a true penitent : for curses following , doe discouer why the rest was intended . let him be sunne-burnt and ill-fauourd , yet he hath this priuiledge , that if he scornes quarrelling and false dice , he shall be thought a faire gamester . fortune makes him her most silly states-man : shee holds him by the chinne a while , but ere he can recouer what he onely wishes , he sinkes incontinent , and worthily , for losse and gaine alike encourage him , but neuer satissie . neither cares he to be thought an insatiable fellow : for when he hath in any mans opinion , fild his belly , his bones , are most busie . if he plaies vpon ticket , he knowes you are but a simple fellow not able to exact , though hee resolues to pay nothing ; so he did neuer purchase , if not this way , except he borrowes ; and that extends farre enough to make him thy debtor at his own pleasure . if he be perished , his restauratiō is too feminine , thogh not degenerate ; for seeing he was ruind vnder the goddesse fortune , he may well claime the portion of a rich widdow . if neither shee , nor any shee-creature else be gratious , let him vnpittied proue a cheater , for he thrust himselfe to exile , & went to willing bondage . charact : xvi . a nouice is one still ready to aske the way , yet farre from finding it , though you doe direct him : he is indeed a simple thing of one and twenty , that dares safely be a pupill to any tutor . or take him naturally for a familiar kinde of spaniell , that may be readily taken vp , and stolne away from himselfe , or his best resolutions . he is euer haunted with a blushing weakenesse , and is as willing to embrace any , as not to bee distastfull vnto any : he trusts any mans opinion before his owne , and will commit his life to him that can insinuate : you get acquaintance with him by a bare salutation ; drinke to him with a new complement , and you haue purchased his entire loue , till hee bee cheated . the name of country-man , or ciuill carriage , vnlockes his cabinet of intentions , till you extract the very quintessence . good fortunes tickle him without measure ; and he findes no reason to moderate his ioy , till he shewes the way for others to disapoint him ; and being disapointed he is quiet . he cannot chuse but be exceeding credulous , for he confutes nothing further then his eye-sight , or common sense extends . draw him to the paradise of taking all in good part ; or teach him to apprehend the worst things well , by screwing in a meere conceit of your generosity , & he will thrust the ward-shippe of his credit , lands , or body , to your patronage ; so you may take reliefe , and tender marriage though his father held not in knights seruice . if you misdoubt he should perceiue you , or if you thinke it difficult to deceiue him ; compare his title with his index , or both together with his stuffe contained , and you may soone discerne him : for eyther vnexpectedly he doth betray himself , or false fire will discharge him : with much a doe , desiring to get a mistrisse , hee proues some whores idolater ; and he feeles naturally for the haruest of his chin before seede time . being a little boulstred vp with sweete heresies of subtill language , and musicall tauernes , he suddenly beginnes ( except some charitable hand reclaimes him ) to mistake tobacco for a precious hearbe : and oftentimes i thinke it cures his raw humour , by operation of the price , without the physicke . you may easilie also driue him to mistake brown paper for littletons tenures ; canuas , and red herrings , for his fathers hopp bagges and lent prouision . i need not say hee will be valorous ; for parasites & gony-catchers know , he oftentimes can see he hath been cheated , & yet his modesty will not suffer him to inforce satisfactiō . he is the cōmon stocke of roaring ▪ boyes and sharkes , to remedy their wants : a bigg protestariō makes him ye old to any man of outside that will borrow , as soon as ten theiues with swords and pistols : so that hee is good for nothing but to blunten a cheaters pollicy ; because he is catcht with so little paines taking . a spiders thred will catch him : an easie charme will strip him naked . hee will much wonder at a triuiall event , and thinkes it witch-craft to foresee disaduantage . as for the world , religion , or naturall causes , he can enquire of them , but difficultly beleiue reason : in the shutting vp therefore of his folly hee doth confesse the character , & leaues it to succession . charact . xvii . an epicure is the picture of some-body , or a man of two sences : the eye & the palate : for his smelling property is stuffed with the vapours of a full stomacke ; his hands are the instruments of his mouth , no sences ; and the belly hath no ●…ares , but a trusse to support it : he is his owne taylor , & thinks directly that more expences belong to the linings , then to the outside . hee will grow frends with any man , that serues his stomacke : if he reads the fable in aesop how the members conspir'd against the belly ; he growes empty with conceite of it ; and in reuenge ( i thinke ) makes the belly conspire against the members . he cannot stirre in businesse without a coach , or a litter ; and then hee is suddenly interrupted , if the clocke strikes eleuen . hee is ( whatsoeuer some thinke ) a good physition for his owne body ; for hee still riseth from the table with an appetite ; and is soone ready for another meale of dainties . if hee bee a lawyer , the best meates will soonest corrupt his carkasse , and his conscience : for he feeds immoderately , and will doe much for a brace of pheasants . if hee bee a diuine , he preaches all charity , and discōmends gentlemen extreamely , because they leaue house-keeping . he thinks his bed the best study , and therfore speakes well in the praise of stretching meditations . he accounts cookery a delicate science , and preferres the knowledge of confectionary receipts ; to which purpose nothing passes through the throat , till he takes particular notice of the ingredients . he is troubled much to thinke , how hee may most readily shorten his life , & not perceiue the reason : therefore hee reuolues continually , what may bee most conuenient for the taste , and hurtfull for the stomacke . he inuites himselfe to much prouender by accident of visitation ; though hee comes with a resolued policy : but hee scornes blushing , like a cōmon smell-feast ; & vpon true reason : for modest bloud ( being clarified and pure ) cannot finde way , through inch-deepe fatt , when it is call'd to answere . hee prouokes many solemne meetings , vnder the title of hospitality , whē hee makes himselfe ( by these meanes ) fitter for an hospitall . hee is contented to bestow broken meate among poore folkes , but no money : for he loues not to depart with that , in which himselfe hath been no taster . he is the noted foe of famine , and yet hee is daily imployed about the procreation of a dearth : for the value of nothing is beyond his ability , if hee hath present money , though no more then enough to discharge the present commodity ; or credite to make men trust vpon executors . hee hath heightned the price of out-landish-fruits , & hath purchased the generall name to our countrey of sweet-mouth'd english-men . marrow-pyes , potato-rootes , eringoes , and a cup of sacke bee his chiefest restoratiues , and comfortable phisicke : hee makes no dinner without a second course . he is ouer ruled more by his teeth , then his appetite : for when they growe weary , he leaues feeding , & falls to drinking : which argues ( vnlesse i mistake ) a larger capacity of stomacke then vnderstanding . but hee doth or should tremble , to see meate stuft with parsely ; because it represents a coarse laid out for buriall . he keeps a high point of statelinesse in carriage ; for hee delights rather in a subtill ●…latterer , or secretary , that giues good elbowe attendance , then to heare himselfe discourse , or any who neglects to feed his humour ; either with commendations , or vailing reuerence to his high fortunes , or with licentious fables , and derisions of his opposites . if dinner bee ended , and you desire to conuerse with him , you must tarry till he be awake : for his vast chaire , a downy couch , and chiefly a fine capable seat in the church , that may confront the preacher , are three easie & common receptacles for his full stomack . none resembles death in sleepe so fitly , yet none makes lesse morall . for indeede his sleeps are full of stinke and rottennes ▪ and so secure , that they rather proue death it selfe , then a remembrance . it is * reported how cambletes the gluttonous king of lydia deuoured in a ●…reame his wife while she lay sleeping together in the same bed ; and finding her hand betweene his teeth when he awaked , he slew himselfe fearing dishonour : which story is intended ( i thinke ) an epicures morall : for in his idle dreaming life , he will deuour a wiues portion , & when he hath consumed all to fragments he wakens : and ( fearing discredit ) dyes vnto the world by liuing obscurely or pines away in sorrow . briefly , being true english , hee will abhorre thirst , & hunger , because he scornes a * spaniard , and his properties . charact : xviii . a churle is the superflaity of solemne behauiour : and was intended for an allay to fifty light iouiall constitutions ; but * nature being then otherwise employed , hee was ( against her will ) made a monstrous lump of humanity ; through the negligence of her hand-maids : good nutriment , and education : or the malice of her enemies , sorrowes and a●…frightment . hee is the vnsociable sonne of saturne , that lookes strangely at the face of man , as if he were another thing then himselfe . hee thinkes , to be familiar is to betray himselfe ; and that the world might plentifully be inhabited , by him onely , and a couple of drudges . if you be ciuill , he saith you are phantasticke ; and friendly language he termes slattery . his learning and aduise be a company of miserable prouerbs much of this making ; a foole & his money is soone parted : wise enough to keepe his owne : store is no sore : light gaines make a heauy purse : bring not a noble to ninepence : he speakes of sparing as if he fitted himselfe to beg in a grate and pray passengers to spare their charitable almes : and hee doth readily consent to the prisoners when they beg in that language . you may offend your selfe and him , lesse , if you kill him right out , then if you discourse with him halfe an houre . no estate , no aduancement , can remoue his humour : for he doth not liue ( whilst he liues not discontented ) but sleeps , or coūterfeits . he thinkes salutations were ordained to beguile , or betray ; hee loues not therefore to salute , or be saluted . he will refuse gifts , that come from reconciled foes and thinkes an iniurie can neuer be forgotten . on equall termes likewise , he is hartily vnwilling to receiue , except ( in glory ) he can ouer-value his deserts , by thinking he hath deserued tenne times more . a selfe-respect , and a disdaine of others , be his nourishing vices : so he chuses rather to loose a bargaine , then to become a debtor ; for he holds it more honour and pollicy to steale , then to be beholding . if you enquire his health , or the times newes , hee dares protest you are an impertinent , or a shallow companion . he may be called barbarons by the same reason that * barbary was calld barbarie : for hee doth alwaies murmur . other mens triumph is his sorrow , other mens sorrow his trumph : for in his conscience he hath reioyced neuer , if not in the mis-fortuns of some , or all . the least aduersity makes him thinke vpon a halter : and if you perswade him to patience , by remembring others crosses , or the necessity of trouble in this life , he will be worse madded with your councell then with his affliction . his councells and instructions , makes him shew , most like a chimney set on fire ; consisting of ranke ▪ sootie choler : which doth enflame and harden whomsoeuer he deales with ; not warme nor molifie with comforts and perswasions : it is better to perish , then to craue his helpe ▪ for he limits himselfe only to negatiues . his entertainments be , a fierce dogge to bid you welcome , a currish voice to confirme it , and the way is open for a fare-well . the first two be apparant , the latter he intends : so doth he embrace acquaintance or neighbours ; but impotent people he threatens in another kinde , with whippe , stocks , & beadle , they onely be his familiars & defenders . his dog , and hee , are the onely good fellowes , and his dogge proues the better man , by being more tractable . he will preuent you in a commodity , and giue more ; as also , hee dares discredit any thing , or any , not with a meaning to commend his own , but to endammage others . hee will bee shauen all waies to the best helpe of a deformity : and though his actions will soone verifie the character , yet he will more mis-shape nature by ill-fauoured linnen , a greasie felt , & garments made for the purpose ; as if hee meant to discouer himselfe by the fore-head , least hee should not bee knowne quickly . hee is vnsatisfied vpon the smallest wrong , and will rather take the lawes assignement , though a trifle , then be content with large composition : yet none doth more grumble against the law-professors . hee listens to the death of great personages , as a butchers dogge to the oxes slaughter ; reioycing to be glutted with his entrailes , or vices , seeing hee is not bettred by his body of worth , the best food . it ●…attens him to heare a prodigalls consumption , though hee partakes nothing in the bootie . if you fasten a guift vpon him , his thankes bee liberall ( though he doth not requite ) if hee doth not brand you with an insinuating title : yet in extremity of his humour hee is so farre ( as he thinkes ) from being vncharitable , as hee makes the charity of coūsell , purse , or 〈◊〉 , things that would 〈◊〉 ●…ittle thanke for his labour : and so he practises them vnder the ranke of such things as doe not concern him : he saith therefore , meddle with me , when i meddle with you . so that if shame prouokes his wealth to inuite strangers , hee hath no bountiful meaning , but a resolution to liue by broken meate long after : which doth not sauour well , except it bee mouldy : that , and himselfe therefore , should be spent sooner ; otherwise they grow visibly odious , but himselfe more odious then that . charact . xix . an athiest is no reasonable man : for hee will sooner embrace a superficiall col●… 〈◊〉 in things of moment , the●… 〈◊〉 into direct causes : as for obuious & common accidents , he neuer lookes vpon them so much with reason as vpon matters of course . in all he doth desire , hee is little better then a beast ; fore-casting onely to make a good temporall successe , & satisfie himselfe by his owne proiects : & he is therfore no reasonable man , because no religious man : for heathens and barbarians haue from the beginning been worshippers of somwhat . there needes no better directiō to know there is a god ; then to knowe that an atheist is gods enemy . if thou canst seeme to bee familiar with him , & enter into the extremities of ill fortune , or begin to speake of great mens funerals , or honest mens persecutions , hee will instātly discouer what he beleiues ; being bolde enough to speake plainly ( if thou canst apprehēd ) that vertue , innocence , & crafty dealing are alike rewarded : that wicked and religious men haue no differēce but the name : that wronges may lawfully ( if without danger apparant ) bee repelled with worse wronges : and that therfore it argues basenesse of spirit , to contemne any preferment of aduantage : that expectation of other , wh●…re ioy is already present , were dotage , or madnesse ; and that honesty , which exceeds common forme , is singularity . from which arguments you may draw the cōclusion . if hee reserues these precepts among strangers , his practise will verifie the pattern . take this for a foundation , euery atheist is a self-pleasing epicure though they be not cōuertible . if he inclines more to epicurisme then policy ; this watch-word will be frequent in his cups , hoc est vivere , hoc est vivere . but you may still obserue , that hee contends to wash away all care with company , discourse & laughter , as if he knew his vsurious creditor ( a guilty conscience ) waited to expostulate with him at an aduantage . one therfore of this proportiō , is more liable to the law , but lesse dangerous to the common-wealth . hee bringes most villany that feeles the disease inward ; and confutes his owne obiections with salacious doctrine . he liues much about the fountaine of iniquity , and therfore he must propoud that those streames of custome be tolerable , or leaue his profession . hee hath a naturall flourish for super-natural accidents . he turnes diuinity into colourable inuentions of philosophy . hee knowes euery thing vnder the name of a naturall body : hee beleeues nature to be an inuisible power , which intended generation for corruption , and corruption for generation . hee distinguishes bodies into simple and compound , and makes creation a vulgar proiect obedient to the harmony of elements . then , if hee knowes the meaning of homogenea , & hetrogenea , of corpus imperfecté mixtū , and perfecté mixtū , hee remaines largely satisfied . as for the causes of terrible events , hee apprehends the power of exhalations , meteors , comets , & the antiperistasis : which very names are able to forbid all further inquisition . hee goes not therefore beyond himselfe & such as him●…elfe , for an authority : and hee esteemes it more conuenient to thinke there is a reason in nature , then to trouble his brain with finding another , when it exceeds his positions . he neuer was taken for a friend in society , neither can he bestow loue , because he cannot aduenture his person ; life being his whole faelicity . if at any time therefore he intended loue , he intended likewise a physitian ; & him , no furtherthen agreed with his own hum dum radicale : which must also be vnderstood , if himselfe were no physitian . he is alwaies cōfident beyond reformation . hee dies with hope be tweene his iawes , and therefore one may think him no desperate sla●…e : but such hope deceiues him , because hee hopes to liue longer . so that like a candles end burning in the socket , he goes out stinking , with delay , and many faintings . charact . xx. a lyar is the falsest diall in the parish : whilst memory the sexton , who should keep language his clocke in order , lyes drunken in security , the cōmon a●…e house . arithmeticke is in him a naturall vice ; or at least the difficult parts of the science : for he can both substract and multiply with more ease then speake true english : he may as well be a tradesman of any sort by his profession , as a knight of the post , or a man-pleaser . he should ( by his qualities ) bee a good gamester ; for the one is iust in league with a voluntary ignorance , or an inforced knowledge , as much as the other : hee neuer offends this way , but he offends double ; for hee cannot with credit , or knowledge of the art military , think it sufficient to defend with bare affirmance , and the walls of circumuention , except his cannon-othes be ready planted and discharged . hee is not guilty of his own vice alone ; for ●…eldome doth he avouch that , which his confederate wil not iustifie : and therfore he prouides adherents for security ; but in his owne single opinion hee doth match copernicus . his common misery is well knowne , it persecutes him with diuine iustice , for all his truths extraordinary , winne no beleife ; because false-hoods are so frequent . he takes it for granted , that hee can grace or disgrace any man at his pleasure : & if inuention or his eloquence were able , hee could not want his purpose . it were gods due iustice if he should run mad ; for he deuides his meaning and his word ; and so distracts himselfe . any ad●…ātage accruing to himselfe prouokes his faculty ; though somtimes a friends loue entices him to strange aduentures . if neither the first nor second bee opportune , hee so labors onely to beget wonderfull narrations . he is ready enough to ouer-value himselfe , his friends , and his commodity : accounting it a politick straine to sett an excellent ●…aire glosse on all ; that hee may purchase the reputation of a large estate : which seemes to argue an innocent vpright course , not fearing tyrāny : but indeed he doth ( from hence ) deceiue the world and dye a beggar , through the fore-going of estimation . let him liue about great persons and his best discourses will be lye-blowne with tales of honour : but turne him to pasture a little into spaine or italy , and he will purge himselfe ( in england ) of twenty times more then he receiued . hee ●…els no wonder without some preparatiue : as namely , he admits before-hand what may be : or he begins thus : you may thinke it is a lie : or , it will seeme strange , but i protest before god , it is very true ▪ but if he be one that maintaines ordinaries & publick meetings in delight of new relations ; he speaks altogether vpon credible report ; and you shall be the third man partakes of the nouelty : for he hath alwaies talked with one , that was an eye-witnesse : if hee were not himselfe the agent or beholder . sometimes he delights to be a * glorious fellow ; and then no letters be conueyd from italy or france ; and no disgraces or aduancements bee meditated in the court without his knowledge . he may at his election be admitted into the colledge of iesuits : but he loues not to forsake his country , though he boasts of travailes ; and yet he is a meere fugi●…iue . he was originally intended for a rhetorician ; and lackes onely a little instruction : for hee is more conuersant with tropes the●… fi●… ; and yet the figure of repetition , is his owne naturall . attention makes thee very much culpable in his reports : beliefe makes thee apt to erre in the same kinde . he is more confident ( if he could be vncased ) in the rare exployts of rosac●…ere , and delphoebo , amadis de gaule , or parismus , then the most holy text of scripture . it is an aequall difficulty to discerne his truth and vntruth : for he is nothing but falshhood , yet contrary to falshood , and contrary to truth : hauing more conueyances then a bawdy-house , or a suspected victualler . the truth is , there is no truth in him : let him tell me , that himselfe lyes , and i will nor beleeue him . if he should striue for antiquity , no english generation can compare with him : and yet he needes no herald , for he deriues his pedigree immedatly from the deuill . charact : xxi . a drunkard . is in opinion a good fellow , in practise a liuing conduit . his vices are like errata in the latter end of a false coppie : they point the way to vertue by setting downe the contrary . hee is at all points armed for a knight errant , and cald vpon for aduentures , euery way as full of hazard . this makes him enter boldly into the lyons , or the greene dragons caue ; into the white beares iawes , the mermaids closets , the sunnes palace ; nay , more , into the deuills chamber of presence . and for his trauailes let the , globe witnesse ; through euery corner of which , he hath or can walke at his pleasure . freedome hee challenges , & therefore scornes to be a tedious customer , till by enforcement , hee drinkes vpon record ; otherwise he shiftes his watring place ; either to auoid his lowse the bayliffe ▪ ; or to renew his fountaine : the last onely pleades for his commendation , because hee proceedes still from worse to better : which discommends him most , because it nourishes his facultie . the torment of his eye-sight is a frothy tapster , or a sluggish drawer with a deceitfull pot . the plagues of his palat be good wines , where he cannot purchase , nor be trusted : or a tauerne well furnished , that ioynes to the prison doore : they vexe him , as a feast vexes the famished , in a strong castle : or a lambe the starued foxe , when mastiff●…s be awake . he neuer disallowes religion for putting l●…nt in the almanacke : for tobacco , a rasher , and red herrings , his instruments of relish , are at al times perhibited . there is some affinity betwixt him and a chamelion : he ●…eeds vpon ayre ; for he doth care his word familiarly . he hath a cheape course of breake-fasts , to auoide dinners ; which at his pleasure he can spare , through morning antidotes ▪ the inquisition of these he studies , and looses by the knowledge . he indifferently concludes , & beginnes quarrels : that quality neither much blames nor praises him . hee cannot run fast enough to proue a good foot-man : for ale and beere ( the heauiest element next earth ) will ouertake him . oportunity he embraces , but in a bad sense : for he is rather studious to follow any mans calling then his owne . his nose the most innocent , beares the corruption of his other senses folly : from it may bee gathered the embleme of one falsely soandald : for it not offending , is colourably punished . it serues therefore for nothing but such an embleme , except to proue the owners great innocence , by how much it is the greater : his eminent seeming vertues be his peculiar vices : for his casting vp expences , and his wisedome ouer ihe pot , be his vnthriftinesse and folly . sacke and strong liquours hardens him in his custome ; according to the nature of a bricke : as if he were ambitious to be red earth , like adam . he proues the philosophers opinion of man , better then any ; for he is animal calidissimum and humidissimum the hottest and the moystest creature . hee were vtterly base , if vnable to defend his habite : you shall therefore know him by his arguments . if he inclines to scholler-ship , they be these : first , to abandon melancholy ; for care , hee saith , kils a cat : then to auoide mischieuous thoughts ; for hee that drinkes well , sleepes well , and hee that sleepes well thinkes no har●…e : hee may be thought a fit trauailer in difficult iournies , for he cannot misse the way ; no more then a blinde man misses a picture . his teeth be strongest , because least employed : hence you may take the embleme of one truly miserable ; who abounds in profites , vnprofitable to himselfe . a beggar , and hee are both of one stocke , but the beggar claimes antiquity : the beggar begs that he may drink , and hath his meaning : the other drinkes that he may beg , and shall haue the true meaning shortly . in the degree of beggars it is thought he will turne dummerer , he practises already , and is for that purpose many times taken speechlesse . if he goes out in the morning a libertine or a man lately manu-misd from liquor , he returnes at night a prisoner , if he doth returne : for he cannot returne safely without his keeper : otherwise , he conuer●…s suddenly from flesh to fish , and diues into the mud , or swims in his owne water . these together may proue fasting-dayes to be his naturall season . whilst he is waking , he purges all secrets ; least i therefore by keeping him awake longer , should erre in the same kinde , i haue now cast him into a dead sleepe . charact : xxii . a begging scholler is an artificiall vagabond : hee tooke his first degree ( as may be imagined ) in the vniuersity : but he neuer thinks himselfe a full graduate ; till by cosmographicall science , hee surueys the degrees of longitude , and latitude , belonging to most of our famous cittyes in england : so hee becomes practitioner in the mathematicks , though hee pretends diuinity by order of cōmencement , which might bee a safe licence among diuers ; if the statute vouchsafed not to take notice of his roguery . he hath from the first houre of his matriculation inherited the name of sharke , by way of a generall dependance in the colledge : but being perhaps expulsed , or departing in a hungry humour , hee trauels with a prompt memory , in stead of other knowledge ; and aboue all things hee is wise enough for himselfe , to remember his wants . he neuer looked into diuinity beyond the meaning of two sermons ; and vpon those hee hath insisted so often , that he feeles no neede of another library . he still pretends ( like some single phisitiā ) the cure of one disease , that is , the colde of charity , and therefore ( his charitable aduise being ended ) a bill of receipt followes for the ingredients : but the disease may bee thought to grow more desperate through the mistaken cure ; because the medicine is applyed vnfitly . his helpe extends farre and neere to fugitiue raga-muffins , vnder the signe of impotent soldiers , or wandring abraham-men : but his helpe proues the maintenance of their function , because it proues his owne , by occasion : for being receiued as a secretary to the counsell of vagrants , hee conceales much idle property , in aduantage of himselfe and country-men , not of the common-wealth . if you would priuately know him ; you must know likewise , the iourney to his friends hath beene tediously vndertaken ; & whilst he bringes his money in question , you must know hee beggs for an answere , and so betrayes the doubt of sufficiency : howsoeuer ( in publicke ) hee insinuates a depriuation ; by being too sufficient . being admitted ( for hospitality sake ) to receiue lodging ; he hath a slight of hand , or cleanly conueiance , which threaten siluer spoones ; and leaues a desperate sorrow among all the houshold seruants , because hee departed so soone . in the space of a naturall day he seldom trauailes further then to the next ale house ; that so by degrees he may approach to a great market vpon the sabaoth . he paies for what he takes continually , one way or other : for being no customer , hee cannot be trusted , except in case of necessity ; and then hee payes them experience to beware of such as he another time . hee hath learning to propound the apostles president for trauailes , but conscience little enough to looke any further . if his family be not portable , it comes in the rereward , & awaits his returne to the rende-vouze : if otherwise he be attended with neither wife , nor maid-seruant ; he makes vse of both , as he finds himselfe able : he is sometime inducted by a simple patron , to some more simple vicarage ; but his tythes and credit concluding in haruest , he takes his flight with the swallow : he cannot therefore thriue among the promoted begging schollers , because he hath no continuance . the second booke of characters . character . i. a iaylor is the beggars body-lowse , which liues vpon the bloud and carcase of them which can worst spare any : hee proceeds commonly from such a one , as could not gouern himselfe , to gouerne others imperiously : hee cannot thinke of a place , more sutable with the safe practise of his villany : no , not among the roarers , or the company of quack-saluers . a thiefe , and a murtherer , bee the names which make him iron madde , whiles himself proues the more exquisite offender : and if formerly hee hath bin infamous among all , it proues felicity with him now to insult ouer some , and growes the more implacable . at his first induction , hee begins ( like all new officers ) to reforme methodically : hee may very well seem a boūtifull host , for he detaines his customers whether they will or not but his boūty retireth , when he looseth aduantage . hee is a true alchymist : no dreamer in that sciēce : no , not the best proficient hath thriu'd better in his proiections : he doth indeed more wisely ( by vertue of his stone-walls , without the philosophers stone ) conuert rusty lrō into perfect siluer : he makes men beleeue , that the poore captiues shall worke in daily labour to get a liuing : whiles his coniecture is verified in their nightly labor , by working through the enclosure ; or being idle they get liuings too many . and by this meanes he makes a difference betwixt picking & stealing : for whomsoeuer he with-holds from stealing hee suffers to vse picking freely . if he perceiues an open obiect of increase , he will himselfe worke the meanes of disorder by plentifull liquor , that so a large fine may redeeme the quarrell : to which purpose he doth sophisticate his fuming beere , to breed a skirmish the sooner : and then the dungeon is a dreadfull word , vntill a competent bribe pacifie his humor . hee lookes as carnestly and as often vpon the palmes of hands as if hee could tell mens fortunes : and the truth is he can giue a shroad coniecture by that speculation . nothing makes him so merry as a harsh mittimu●… , and a potent captiue : they come like an inscription with a fat goose against new-yeares-tide : but baile sounds a sorrowfull retrait : as if the inferiour theife should loose a booty by composition : and yet he will take his wiues suretiship for the more extent of liberty , because he knowes her perfect in the secrets of that alchymie . crueltyes are deriued from himselfe into his whole family . hee is a circumspect companion , and still dreames of an escape : and of a breaking forth he may well dreame , hauing so many putrified sores in one body : but seldome do any escape in his debt , though at their breaking out , they be a weeke behinde : for aboue one weeke he neuer trusts ; and not so long , vnlesse the former aduantage will recompence a fortnights arrerages . he hath as great a gift in changing mens dispositions as pouerty and courtship : for he can make them beg that otherwise are ashamed to begge . briefly , he is in a manner , the deuils huntsman , who keepes those beagles either for castigation , because they were not cunning enough , else for amendment of the chace . for if he sends them forth , they proue graduates , when they escape the gallowes . as for himselfe , you may either meet him in the midst of carrowses among his customers , or riding post in mellancholy , to re-imparke his wilde runnagates . charact . ii. an informer is a protected cheater , or a knaue in authoritic , licenced by authority : he sprang from the corruption of other mens dishonesty ; and meetes none so intricately vitious , but he can match the patterne : which makes him free of all trades by the statu●…e : for this giues him a freedome to seruey all besides himselfe . he is a fellow as much beholding to his fiue senses , as to his intellectuals : he can diuersly imploy all his senses about diuerse obiects ; but commonly they are all occupied about one or two chiefly : the winding vp of a ●…acke is better then musicke to his eates in lent : the steame of a roasted ioynt attracts his nostrils vnsatiably : the sight of a shoulder of mutton then feeds his stomacke ; but the taste and feeling of it , prouokes him to a dreadfull insultation . he is worse then an otter-hound for a diue-dopping ale-house-keeper : and hunts him out vnreasonably from his element of liquor ; and yet he may seeme reasonable honest , for he hearkens readily to a composition . but whilst he consents to saue men harmelesse ( vpon tearmes indifferent ) he makes open way for another of his coate to incroach vpon the like premises . so that he seemes to be the darling of some welch pedigree : for he conspires with his owne profession , and makes a triumph of the least aduantage , in the very same manner . let him be a tytle-sifter & he will examine lands as if they had committed high treason : but then he will be daunted though he weares a double night-cap in reading the due fortune of his predicessours empson and dudley ; except his iudgement serues him to mistake the chronicle . the lesser foxe workes vpon simple creatures ; and the base informer vpon poore mens fortunes . he promiseth restauration to a forbidden ale-house with an exchequer licence to vexe the lustices : whilst hee takes forty shillings , three pound , or vpward for a single subpoena , to defend the liquor-man , who incurres new charges by trusting in the apparant cousenage . he takes away the relation betwixt a lawyer and his client ; and makes it generally extend to the clearks in offices ; vnder whose safegard hee hath his licence seal'd to trauaile : a foot-post & hee differ in the discharge of their packet , and the payment : for the informer is content to tarry the next tearme ( perhaps ) till a iudgement . his profession affoords practisers both great and small ; both bucke-hounds and harriers : the essence of both is inquisition . but the first is a more thriuing and ancient stocke of hatred : for he is a kinde of antiquarie : the last is seldome medling with men much aboue him : howsoeuer , sometimes hee is casually the scourge of an ignorant iustice. charact : iii. a base mercenary poet is the most faithfull obsequious seruant of him that giues most : he subscribes his definition to all dedicatory epistles . if mother-wit raisd him to be a writer , hee shewes himselfe a dutiful childe and beggs poems in defence of nature : neither can he choose but betray himselfe to be a cosset , by his odde frisking matter , and his apish titles : which may perswade any reasonable man , that hee studyes more to make faces , then a decent carriage . if hee haue learnt lillies grammer , and a peece of ouids metamorphosis , he thinkes it time to ask his patrons blessing with some worke that sauours very much of the authors meaning , and two or three latine sentences . if hee hath seene the vniuersity , and forsaken it againe , because he felt no deserts which might challenge a benefactor : then hee calles euery man ( besides his patron ) a despiser of learning , and he is wonderfull angry with the world ; but a brace of angels will pacifie his humour . if hee bee an expulsed graduate , hee hath beene conuersant so long with rules of art , that hee can expresse nothing without the art of begging , or publick sale : but commonly hee is some swimming-headed clark , who after he hath spent much time in idle sōnets , is driuen to seeke the tune of siluer , to make vp the consort . necessity and couetous hire , bribe his inuention , but cannot corrupt his conscience : for though he vndertakes more thē hee is able , yet hee concludes within expectation of others that knowe him , and so hee deceiues himselfe only . gold and siluer onely doe not make him a hyerling ; but enuy , malice , and the meanes to be made famous : among which means , the chiefe bee libells , scandala magnatum , petty treasons , and imprisonments . hee will neuer for feite his day to necessity , if hee writes by obligation ; which happens diuers times when hee is the scriuener and the debtor : for the tide of one pamphlet being vented at his elbowes , with leaning vpon tauerne-tables ; hee tyes himselfe to certain limites ; within which precincts he borrowes much , translates much , coynes much , conuerting all to his proiect : and if matter failes , hee flyes vpon the lawyer , or disgraces an enemy . hee may dissemble with the world for he dissembles with himselfe : striuing to conceiue well of errors , though his conscience tells him they bee grosse errors : and when hee heares his play hissed , hee would rather thinke bottle-ale is opening ( though in the midst of winter ) then thinke his ignorance deserues it . his apologies discouer his shifting cou●…enage : for hee attributes the vices of his quil to the ages infirmity ; which endures nothing but amorous delightes , close bawdry , or mirthfull iests : as if the ignorance of any age could hinder a wise mans propositions . he makes poems that consist onely of verse and rime in stead of excellent cōposures , with the same confidence that ignorant painters make a broad face and a flat-cap to signifie king harry the eight : confoun●…ing ( like a bad logician ) the ●…orme and the dimention . hee is a fraded fellow , though he seems a scholler : but is neuer free of the company , or accepted , till hee hath drunk out his apprentise-hood among the graund masters : and then with an vniuocall consent , hee may commend his wares , turne them into the fashion , dresse ouer his olde pamphlets , and not be any way disgrac'd among them . if his owne guilty iudgement cannot approue his owne poems : hee thinks his fortune good enough to make his reader approue , or dispence with follies : and vpon that hope hee dares often publish , and is as often laught at : but he hath wit enough to serue the whole citty , if hee makes the lord maiors pageants . he presumes much vppon absolute good meanings , though the text be palpable : and yet where hee commends himselfe best , he is not refractory , for he still promises amendment , or some more voluminous worke , to gratifie his benefactors ; but hee could neuer liue long enough to finish his miracles . many haue beene accounted traytors who haue conspired lesse against the king then he : for he layes plots in wrighting to make the king loose his time , if hee vouchsafe to see them acted . but hee is much indebted to the fauour of ladies , or at least seemes to haue been gratiously rewarded . if he affects this humour , hee extolls their singular iudgement before hee meddles with his matter in question : and so selles himselfe to the worldes opinion . if his handes bee no more actiue then his head , hee is guiltie of many a good scribes idlenesse , by making that legible , which ( before transcription ) might haue bin tollerable folly . if you be therfore an honest , or generous patron , suffer him not to bee printed . charact . iiii. a common player is a slow payer , seldom a purchaser , neuer a puritan . the statute hath done wisely to acknowledg him a rogue * errant , for his chiefe essence is , * a daily counterseit : he hath beene familiar so long with out-sides , that he professes himselfe , ( being vnknowne ) to be an apparant gentleman . but his thinne felt , and his silke stockings , or his foule linnen , and faire doublet , doe ( in him ) bodily reueale the broker : so beeing not sutable , hee proues a motley : his mind obseruing the same fashion of his body : both consist of parcells and remnants : but his minde hath commonly the newer fashion , and the newer stuffe : hee would not else hearken so passionately after new tunes , new trickes , new devises : these together apparrell his braine and vnderstanding , whilst he takes the materialls vpon trust , and is himself the taylor to take measure of his soules liking . hee doth coniccture somewhat strongly , but dares not commend a playes goodnes , till he hath either spoken , or heard the epilogue : neither dares he entitle good things good , vnless●… hee be 〈◊〉 on by the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…hen hee sait●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 with a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 cant or persist 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 hee pretends to haue a royall master or mistresse , his wages and dependance proue him to be the * seruant of the people . when he doth hold conference vpon the stage ; and should looke directly in his fellows face ; hee turnes about his voice into the assembly for applause-sake , like a trumpeter in the fields , that shifts places to get an eccho . the cautions of his iudging humor ( if hee dares vndertake it ) be a certaine number of sawsie rude iests against the common lawyer ; hansome conceits against the fine courtiers ; delicate quirkes against the rich cuckolda cittizen ; shadowed glaunce for good innocent ladies & gentlewomen ; with a nipping scoffe for some honest iustice , who hath imprisoned him : or some thriftie trades-man , who hath allowed him no credit : alwayes remembred , his obiect is , a new play , or a play newly reuiued . other poems he admits , as good-fellowes take tobacco , or ignorant burgesses giue a voyce , for company sake ; as thinges that neither maintaine , no●… be against him . to be a player , is to haue a mithridate against the pestilence : for players cannot tarry where the plague raignes ; and therfore they be seldome infected . he can seeme no lesse then one in honour , or at least one mounted ; for vnto miseries which persecute such , he is most incident . hence it proceeds , that in the prosperous fortune of a play frequented , he proues immoderate , and falles into a drunkards paradise , till it be last no longer . otherwise when aduersities come , they come together : for lent and shrouetuesday be not farre asunder , then he is deiected daily and weekely : his blessings be neither lame nor monstrous ; they goe vpon foure legges , but mooue slowly , and make as great a distance between their steppes , as between the foure tearmes . reproofe is ill bestowed vppon him ; it cannot alter his conditions : he hath bin so accustomed to the scorne and laughter of his audience , that hee cannot bee ashamed of himselfe : for hee dares laugh in the middest of a serious conference , without blushing . if hee marries , hee mistakes the woman for the boy in womans attire , by not respecting a difference in the mischiefe : but so long as he liues vnmarried , hee mistakes the boy , or a whore for the woman ; by courtin●… the first on the stage , or visiting the second at her deuotions . when hee is most commendable , you must confesse there is no truth in him : for his best action is but an imitation of truth , and nullum simile est idem . it may be imagined i abuse his carriage , and hee perhaps may suddenly bee thought faire-conditioned : for he playes aboue boord . take him at the best , he is but a shifting com panion ; for hee liues effectually by putting on , and putting off . if his profession were single , hee would thinke himselfe a simple fellow , as hee doth all professions besides his owne : his own therefore is compounded of all natures , all humours , all professions . hee is politick also to perceiue the common-wealth doubts of his licence , and therefore in spight of parliaments or statute 〈◊〉 hee incorporates himselfe 〈◊〉 the title of a brotherhood . painting & fine cloths may not by the same reason be called abusiue , that players may not be called rogues : * for they bee chiefe ornaments of his maiesties reuell●… . i need not multiplie his character ; for boyes and euery one , wil no sooner see men of this facultie walke along , but they wil ( vnasked ) informe you what hee is by the vulgar title . yet in the generall number of them , many may deserue a wise mans commendation : and therefore did i prefix an epithite of common , to distinguish the base and artlesse appendants of our citty companies , which often times start away into rusticall wanderers and then ( like proteus ) start backe againe into the citty number . charact : v. a warrener is an earthly minded man : hee pluckes his liuing from the earths bowels : and therefore is his minde most conuersant about that element : he liues in a little arcenall or watch-tower , being well prouided with engines & artilery : with which ( like another tyrant ) he doth encounter the enemies of his inhabitants ; that hee may engrosse them all the more entirely : and yet in some respects he is a good gouernour , for he delights more in the death of one enemy , then sixe subiects : the reason is apparant : for one foe is able to destroy twentie of his vassailes ; and so his gaines be preuented : therefore a polecat and he , are at continuall variance : yet he is charitable and mercifull , for if the pole-cat turns ferret & obeys him , none agree better : hee doth waiue much spoyle by his mid-night watches , and yet he owes no lord ▪ ship : the truth is , tumblers , nets , and other trafficke do escheate to him , although the owner be liuing . he verifies the prouerb of plenty : the more he hath , the more he would haue : for though his owne ground be full of breeders , yet he cannot forbeare to haue his hand in priuate warrens . hee is much , and most perplexed , because pales and hedges will not keepe his cattell in compasse : if he cannot therefore compound with the neighbours adiacent , he hath a tricke to affright those that transgresse their limites , by scattering murthered captiues ( as pole-cats , and weasels ) in their places of refuge : and this is a deepe quillet in the profession : besides this he hath little knowledge of moment , except the science of making trappes : or circumuention of innocent dogs to feed vermine . the chiefe petition of his prayer , is for blacke frosts , sunne-shine weather , & calme midnights : vnder protection of the last , he walkes fearelesse , with a pike staffe , to exercise the liberty of that season among other mens backsides : where he hath many night-spels , to the hazard of much pullen , and indeed all things thieue able ; if he doth not play the valiant foot-man , and take tribute of passengers : neither is he worthy to be such a dealer with nets and cony chatching if he could not intrap the kings subiects : i make no question therefore that he is worthy of his profession : howsoeuer sometimes he is catcht in a pitfall of liquor by his companions : whilst they perhaps being poulterers , proue tyrannicall substitutes , and rob his possessions : but in reuenge , hee doth often encroach vpon the poul terers likewise with a drunken bargaine . charact . vi. a huntsman is the lieutenant of dogs , and foe to haruest : he is proudly willing to gouerne ; and because he findes himselfe vnsufficient to deale with men wisely , he commands dogs ; which fawne vpon the master and snarle at strangers . he is froli●…ke in a faire morning fit for his pleasure ; and alike reioyceth with the virginians , to see the rising sunne : he doth worship it , as they ; but worships his game more then they : and in some things almost as barbarous . a sluggard he contemnes , and thinkes the resting time might be shortned ; which makes him rise with day , obserue the same pace , & proue full as happy ; if the day be happie . the names of foxe , hare , and bucke , be all tracting sillables ; sufficient to furnish fifteen meales with long discourse in the aduentures of each . foxe drawes in his exploits done against cubbes , bitch ▪ foxes , otters , and badgers : hare , brings out his encounters , plat-formes engines , fortifications , & night-worke done against leueret , cony , wilde-cat : rabbet , weasell , and pole-cat : then bucke , the captaine of all , prouokes him ( not without strong passion ) to remember hart , hinde , stagge , roe , pricket , fa●…ne , and fallow deere . hee vses a dogged forme of gouernment , which might be ( without shame ) kept in humantie ; and yet he is vnwilling to be gouerned with the same reason : either by being satisfied with pleasure , or content with ill fortune . hee hath the discipline to marshall dogs , and sutably ; when a wise herald would rather meruaile , how he should distinguish their coats , birth , and gentry . hee carries about him in his mouth the very soule of ouids bodies , metamorphosed into trees , rockes , and waters : for when he pleases , they shall eccho and distinctly answere ; and when he pleases , be extreamely silent . there is little danger in him towards the common-wealth : for his worst intelligence comes from shepheards or woodmen ; and that onely threatens the destruction of hares ; a wel-knowne dry meate . the spring and he are still at variance : in mockage therfore , and reuenge together of that season , he weares her liuery in winter . little consultations please him best ; but the best directions hee doth loue and followe ; they are his dogs : if he cannot preuaile therefore , his lucke must be blamed ; for hee takes a speedy course . hee cannot be lesse then a conquerour from the beginning , though he wants the boote ; for he pursues the flight . his man-hood is a crooked sworde with a saw backe ; but the badge of his generous valour is a horn to giue notice . battery & blowing vp , hee loues not : to vndermine is his stratageme . his physicke teaches him not to drinke sweating ; in amends whereof , he liquors himselfe to a heate , vpon coole bloud : if hee delights ( at least ) to emulate his dog in a hot nose . if a kennell of hounds passant take away his attention & company from church ; doe not blame his deuo●…ion ; for in them consists the nature of it , and his knowledge . his frailties are , that he is apt to mistake any dog worth the stealing , & neuer take notice of the collar . hee dreames of a ha●…e formed , a fox kenneld , a bucke lodged , or a hart in harbor and if his fancy would bee moderate , his actions might be full of pleasure . charact . vii . a falkoner is the egge of an ordinary goosewoman , hatcht vp amōgst hawkes and spaniels . hee hath in his minority conuersed with kest rils , and young hobbies ; but growing vp hee begins to handle the lure , & look a fawlcon in the face . all his learning makes him but a new linguist ; for to haue studied & practised the termes of hawkes dictionary , is enough to excuse his wit , manners , and humanity . hee hath too many trades to thriue ; and yet if he had fewer , he wold thriue lesse : he neede not be enuied therefore , for a monopoly , though hee be barber surgeon , physitian , and apothecary , before he commences hawk leech : for though he exercise all these , and the art of bow-strings together , his patients be compelled to pay him no further , then they are able . hawkes are his obiect , that is , his knowledge , admiration , labour , and all : they be indeed his idoll , or mistresse , be they male or female : to them hee consecrates his amorous ditties , which be no sooner framed then hallowed : nor should he doubt to ouercome the fairest , seeing hee reclaimes such haggards ; and courts euery one with a peculiar dialect . that he is truly affected to his sweet-hart in her fether ▪ bed , appeares by the sequele ; himselfe is sensible of the same misery : for they bee both mewed vp together : but hee still chuses the worst pennance ; by chusing rather an ale ▪ house , or a cellar , for his moulting place , then the hawkes mew . hee cannot bee thought lesse then a spie , & that a dangerous one : for his espials are , that hee may see the fall of what hee persecutes : and so the wood-cocks perish : if they doe not , his art is suspended . he is a right busie-body , who intermeddles so much with others affaires , that he forgets his own : hee would not else correct his hawkes wildnesse ; and be so ready to trample downe the standing corne ; or make way through enclosures : that argues him to be rebellious & vulgar ; one apt to striue for liberty . his man-hood i dare not signifie , it remaines doubtfull vpon equall tearmes , because , seldom tried with any thing but wild-fowle : and then hee performes , water-seruice ; perhaps sea-seruice ; but both , in some sowle manner : by land he serues , on horse or foote ; on both , to destroy partrige , or pheasant . you may truely call him an extream bad husband if he lyes in a flocbed ; because hee meddles so much with fowles & doth not feather his nest . there is no hope of his rising , though hee doth excell ; for he rather seekes to make others ambitious of rising , then himselfe : and therefore though hee frames winges with daeda●…us , he thereby makes his hawke onely fitt to aspire : yet if any shall ( by coniecture ) take a flight from paules steeple ; hee will ( i suppose ) as soone as any : for hee proues wiser already in the art of winges then blad●…d . i had rather ( in the mean time ) take his worde then his oath ; for when he speakes without an oath , hee is not troubled with the passion of his curres , or haggards ; and therfore cannot so well excuse it , if hee breakes his promise . as for religion , shee is a bird of too high a wing ; his hawkes cānot reach it , and therefore not hee . and if hee flies to heauen , it is a better flight , then any hee hath commended : there , i meddle not with him ; thither hee must carry himselfe : for i can neither condemne , nor saue him . charact . viii . a farmer is a concealed commodity : his worth or value is not fully known till he be halfe rotten : and then hee is worth nothing . he hath religiō enough to say , god blesse his maiesty ; god send peace , and faire weather : so that one may gleane haruest out of him to be his time of happines : but the tith sheafe goes against his conscience ; for hee had rather spend the value vpon his rea●…ers and plough-men , then bestow any thing to the maintenance of a parson . hee is sufficiently booke-read , nay a profound doctor , if ●…ee can search into the diseases of cattell and to foretell rain by tokens , makes him a miraculous astronomer . to speake good english is more then hee much regards ; and for him not to contemne all arts and languages , were to condemne his own education . the pride of his house keeping is a messe of creame , a pigge , or a green-goose : and if his seruants can vncontrowled finde the high-way to the cup-boord , it winnes the name of a bountifull yeoman . doubtles hee would murmur against the * tribunes law ; by which none might occupy more then fiue hūdred acres : for hee murmurs against himselfe , because hee cannot purchase more . to purchase armes ( if he aemulates gentry ) sets vpon him like an ague : it breakes his sleepe , takes away his stomack , & hee can neuer be quiet till the herald hath giuen him the harrowes , the cuckowe , or some ridiculous embleme for his armory . the bringing vp , and marriage of his eldest son ; is an ambition which afflicts him so soon as the boy is borne , and the hope to see his sonne superior , or placed aboue him , driues him to dote vpō the boy in his cradle . to petuse the statutes , and preferre them before the bible , makes him purchase the credit of a shrewd fellow : and then hee bringes all aduersaries to composition . if at length he can discouer himselfe in large legacies beyond expectation , hee hath his desire . meane time , hee makes the preuention of a dearth his title , to bee thought a good common-wealths man. and therefore he preserues a chandelors trea sure of bacon , linkes and puddings in the chimney corner . hee is quickly and contentedly put into the fashiō , if his clothes be made against whitsontide , or christmas day : and then outwardly he contemnes appearance : hee cannot therefore choose but hate a * spaniard likewise ; and ( hee thinkes ) that hatred onely , makes him a loyall subiect : for beneuolence & subsidies bee more vnseasonable to him , then his quarters rent . briefly , being a good house-keeper , hee is an honest man : and so , he thinkes of no rising higher , but rising early in the morning ; and being vp , hee hath no end of motion ▪ but wanders in his woods & pastures so continually , that when hee sleepes , or sitts , ( i thinke ) hee wanders also . after this , hee turnes into his element , by being too ventrous hot , and colde : then he is fit for nothing but a checkered graue : howsoeuer some may thinke him conuenient to make an euerlasting bridge ; because his best foundation hath beene perhaps ) vpon wool-packes . charact . ix . an hostesse is ( if beautifull ) the abatement of reckonings , or the second course : if a widow , she is the iourneys end of a weather-beaten traueller : if ordinary , shee is the seruant and the mistresse ; but in generall , shee is a receiuer to all professions , and acquainted by experience with cookery , or sluttery . bring inuited to her owne prouisions , shee prepares the w●…y to mi●…tigate her prises , either by exclayming vpon the hard times , or insinua ting the sublime price of mutton . shee must bee pardoned , though shee depart before supper is ended ; for she is modestly ashamd to heare her sinfull reckonings . she professes the kitchin , but takes place in the chamber : and hauing interrupted the guest with a cup of heartily welcome , shee signifies his sorrow , thogh it be manifest silence shee excuses the attendance by varietie of guests ; and blaming the maid-seruants , shee commends her self for the sole agent and you must conceiue amisse of the shambles , or butter-market vpon her honesty . her chiefest knowledge is to distinguish vppon the trades of our belly ; and though she condemnes a taylor for lengthening his bill with bumbast , stiffening , silke and buttons ; yet shee furnishes her own in the same kind , with wine ▪ bread , sallets and cheese ; and though shee seldome abate the price of reckonings , yet she can giue a morsell of her own into the bargaine , if that may satisfy . she chuses seruants also that wil giue the best content : and that shee insinuates though shee vn doe●… a traueller . shee may abhorre drunkennesse ; but in her own house conceales it , and re ceiues the aduantage : neyther dares she reproue her husbands thirstie humor , least shee should loose her freedome ; when hee resignes his power to lazinesse , by which hee was ingendred . her husbands sloth makes her imployed proudly ; being heartily ambitious of labour , if shee can boast well , that her paynes alone keepe her husband & his familie . she keeepes open house & therefore she thinkes a porter as much impertinent as laces to her placket . if her self be spunge and corke , shee hath a daughter or a chaumber maide of luy . these and shee together make the best of a bad bargaine , and therefore shee asfoords no penny-worth which is not the best that can suddenly be bought for money . she seldome inuites cost-free : for shee determines to bee paid commonly . if therefore she doth inuite , she is a rare woman ; neither hath she any thing else to pleade raritie . brieflie , shee is at●…ing of cleane linnen that is the warrant of her cleanlinesse : she makes the welcome of a new , the farewell of an olde traueller . she hcarkens ioyfully to the numerons footing of horses and hauing with a quick accent twise called the chamberlaine , she is now busie about dressing supper . charct : xxii . a tapster is an infernall : the belzebub of a sellor , and the very motion of a double iugge . hee was engendred by a drunkards appetite and vrine . for nothing but his desire to fill and emptie , hath bred a tapster . hee is of a barmy disposition apt to cleaue , and therfore hee seekes to be familiar at first sight ; but in stead of friendship he retains the names of customers : only betwixt brewers men and him , there passes hungry and thirstie loue ; consisting of hollaud cheese & rowles in recompence of bottle-ale , and strong beere . you may call him swinish , for hee beares cheife sway among the hog sheads : and claimes authority among them to * ●…emoue and preferre . drawers and hee liue at variance ; for hee thinkes the grape a disparagement to malt ; and therefore he incounters wine euen with the smallest beere hee hath , to affright the fortitude of sacke , & claret : but ( which betrayes his stratagems ) he gladly makes the vintuers vessell his vassaile and renegad●… . nay rather he farmes diogenes his tenement ; and , fearing he should bee dispossessed ( i thinke ) hee puts in a valorous tenant that will beate the mad cinicks braynes out if hee dares incounter . his riches are single , they consist of single money : his profession double , it consists of double beere : but then his faculties are againe so single , that if he leaues the sellar , hee must begge 〈◊〉 : for ignorance and lazine ●…t haue bin his education . meane time hee is kept from robbery by exchange of single peeces : and yet he disables himselfe in exchang vnlesse hee expects nothing by delay . he feeles the same sorrow to heare you discommend his liquor , that hee doth to see you depart . * it goes against his conscience to see the cup stand quietly ; and against his stomack to see you preferre mutton before powdred-beefe . he is a prettier fellow of his handes then any of the guarde : for giue him leaue to draw apace , and hee will strike down twelue gards . he hath an ambitious memorie which cannot deceiue him , because hee hath taught it to deceiue others : for his aboundance of memory , and his meaning to get ●… stocke , labour to get a super●●uous two-pence in the reckoning . he would make an asse of kelly if he were liuing : kelly wrought vpon somewhat ; but this fellow makes money of meere nothing : for hee gets by froth , and emptinesse . his brain swarmes with a tempest of bottle reckonings ; which makes him carelesse of hats : least hee should breed an impostume , by inclosing their multitude ; else hee is afraide least the hot and moyst reckonings he carries in his head , shoulde dissolue his felt , and therefore he goes vncouered ; else to shew hee reuerences the cellar and weeke-dayes , more then the church or sabboth ; for then onely hee playes the turke , and puts on : else ( which is indeed the reason ) he knowes all commers claime his dutie , and therefore he walks bare headed to saue a labour . he attributes the scant measure of his iugge , to the cellars dark nesse , and his sauing nature ; but rather then he will iustifie both , he hath a certaine slight or hand to fill the first 〈◊〉 , and so a voyds inquisition . all his conscience is , that he dares not cast away gods good creatures ; and therfore he preserues the droppings to make a compound he is an ignoble wret●…h : do what you can , hee will couson you with his can. of his prayers and religion , i neither finde any thing , nor will i leaue any thing , written . but i belieue strongly , that in stead of praying , he wishes to heare men desirous of collops & egges , or red herrings . and therfore i thinke he should thriue best in a sea voyage ; because he commends the relish of meats seasoned exceedingly . his bladder is more capable then his greasie pouch ; and more immoderately widened . he hath nothing to commend his literature , but brachigraphy , or the science of short writing , which hee practises vpon the barrels head , or behinde the doore : the meaning whereof he expounds , but doth not discouer the rules . if he dares defend his function in winter , he must prouide an orator : for he speakes coldly for himselfe , as being troubled with a common hoarsnesse to betray his vigilance . briefly , you must imagine him a light fellow , and like the corke , which swimmes with moysture , is supported with liquor , and tyed about the bottle or iugges neck : there , or neere about that , you may finde him personally . charact . xi . a lawyers simple clarke is his masters right hand , if hee bee not left-handed : or the second dresser of sheep-skinnes : one that can extract more from the parchment , then the husbandman from ▪ the fleece . he is a weake grammar●…an ; for he beginnes to peirce , before he can construe well : witnesse the chamber-maide . neither can you discommend him : for his best education hath beene at a dull writing-schoole . hee doth gladly imitate gentlemen in their garments ; they allure the wenches , and may ( perhaps ) prouoke his mistresse : but then hee must bee a customer to cookes shoppes , and lowe ordinaries , or visit the broaker , to bespeake silke stockinges , without which he thinkes gentry doth much degenerate . hauing done thus ( if his cloake did not reueale him by instinct ) he might passe suddenly for a gentleman presuming on which , & his plausible discourse , he dares attempt a mistresse : but if hee chooses worthily , he feeles himselfe worthily contemned , because he woes with bawdery in text ; and with iests , or speeches stolne from playes , or from the common-helping arcadia . hee may be reasonably commaunded by his maister in attendance : but if hee rides with a cloake bagge , he thinkes himselfe disgraced behinde his backe . hee may bragge of the vniuersitie , and that hee hath commenced ; yet hee can hardly tell you by learning the * first vse of parchment ; though it concernes him neerely ; for being once in a colledge , and now a clearke , it seemes plaine that he was an arrant rakehell . howsoeuer , he is otherwise a peaceable companion : for as hee continually makes agreement , so himselfe sits quietly , by his embleme of meeknesse , the sheeps-skinnes ; except the itch troubles him . you can make no question that he is prouided to dispatch readily ; for hee hath his businesse at his fingers end . he may pretend scholership : but all that is nothing vnlesse you compare it with a iugglers , and then hee may seeme cunning : for hee doth exceed a iuggler in the slight of hand : being able by his cleanly conneyance , to remoue the possession of lands forty miles distant . he trembles therefore alike with all handicrafts , ( though he most valerons ) to thinke if he should offer violence in the court : for vpon his palmes & fingers depend his in-comes . he is no vain disputant : this knowledge is positiue ingrossd , and so vpon record . selfe-conceit in workes , he refuses : for hee labours about nothing which is not iustifiable by presidents , either of west , his maister or a teacher . in the cōpasse of which three he tyes his approbation of witt so narrowly , that i cannot blame him if hee condemnes this character , for ( vpon my knowledge ) hee can finde no such thing in the presidents . then hee doth not seeme to delight in a retired life : for hee sits alwaies in the most outward roome of his maisters chamber . he may be very much tēpted to pick & pilser ; for legit vt clericus cannot be applied to any man so fitly . he is not ashamed of what he doth : for hee regards not to haue a finger , but a whole hand in the busines . to which purpose you may see his name subscribed in court , after sealed and deliuered . hee doth relye vpon his maisters practise , large indentures , and a deske to write vpon . he can shew little or no signe of humil●…ty like his degraded lodging in the trūckle-bed ; which hazzards many s●…eabites , and the violent ayre of his maisters feet . westminster likewise doth not altogether not concerne him : hee hath a motion thither , and a motion there : thither hee moues by way of iniunction from his maister : there hee moues in the cōmon place of breake-fasts , for reliefe of his stomacke ; and if hee can match his breake-fast and dinner without grudging of his stomack , he hath his desire . he is a follower : for he weares a liuery , but no seruant , for hee payes his owne wages . if he bee drunken you must say hee staggers , to auoide aequiuocation : for when he is sober hee makes indentures . seruing himselfe , hee serues god by occasion : for whilst hee loues his gaine , a●…d serues his desire of getting , hee hates idlenesse . if his maister thriues , hee cannot doe amisse ; for hee leades the way , and still rides before . hee is the sophister , or soliciter to an atturney ; & from himselfe hee proceedes to an atturney : that is his commencement . so that a clearke in thesi , is an atturney in hypothesi . charact . xii . a pettifogging a●…turny is a fellow at your commaund for ten groates , and hath no inheritance , but a knauish forme o●… vnderstanding . hee is extreamely graced if he talke with two vel●…et cloak'd clients in fiue tearmes : and desires to salute great lawyers , in view to purchase reputation . he is indeed the vpshot of a proud ignorant clarke , and retaines his learning from paenall statutes , or an english little : on . he doth multiplie businesse , as a tinker multiplies worke , with mending : and in a michaelmas tearme , hee will seeme more bus●…e about offices , then a ●…lea at midnight in the midst of summer . he is a better commoditie to himselfe then stockfish ( being well beaten . ) his chiefe inuention is how hee may take brib●…s from both parties , & please both fashionably : how he may cousen his friends to all aduantage , and giue the glosse of good dealing : if his wickednesse thriues well , hee proues a te●…rible asse in a lions skin : but whilst he out dares any man and forgets himselfe to be a buzzard , his considence deceiues him : hee keeepes a tro●…ting pace to signify imploymēt . chancery lane is his loome : for in the tearme he runnes nimbly from one end to the other like a shuttle to weaue mischiefe . subpaenaes , executions and all writs of quarrell be his bondslaues . hee doth naturally exclaime vpon poets and players ; they are too inquisitiue about his cousonage . hee commends diuinitie ; but makes the professors simple men when they submit to his mercy : hee still preferres the authority of a statute where it makes for his purpose ( though mistaken ) before god and a good conscience . his religion is the kings continually : and he would willingly come to church on sundaies if hee had ended his declarations . he is in●…atiatly giuen to get by any man hee deales with ; so much , that he will scarse borrow ten shillings , vnlesse he may get ten pence . his chiefe pride is to be haue himselfe better then he is able , and chiefely in deliuering of his charge at cou●…tleetes : where hee assumes much peremptorie state , and knowes the audience cannot appreh end where hee stole his lesson : and then though his minde bee not in the dishes , it is in the k●…tchin . there is such a neere vnion betwixt him and fees , that if ignorance hath made him spare a deceite in ouer-burthening his client , hee thinkes hee hath not done as he should doe , and that hee deserues miserably to bee laught at . his highest ambition is an innes of court , an old rich vviddow , and the stewardship of l●…etes , and still he hopes to be the first of his name : he loues lit tle manners but where he hopes to saue , and there he playes the ●…ychophant . hee had rather eate still then wipe his mouth : rather ( i meane ) see●…e meanes to multiplie , then to repent his olde couse age . hee thinkes nature may iustifie his dealing though he proues somewhat bold with his kindred ; & therfore hee will couzen his own brother before any man. his almes bee oulde shooes for broomes : one for another : for without receiuing he neuer giues . his discourse is commonly attended with a sc●…re facias , and he is ashamed in his heart when he heares of a cunninger knaue then himselfe . briefly , hee is indeed a meere atturney , sit for all turnes that any way enrich his cofer : for he hath ●…nauery enough to cosen the people , but wit enough to deceiue the gallowes . howsoeuer being too busy about his common baite of lucre ( thinking to snap at the diuels glow-worme , ( he is catched in his common noose , the pillory , from whence he is deliuered : but the hunts-man markes him for an old breeder . i might heere accuse some excellen●… atturneys ( though they be good patterns of their countreys knowledge ) because they ●…could not in my former impression take this character without scandall to themselues and honesty : and yet i pardon their mistaking : because it is no discredit for a good atturney to be no good logitian . charact . xiii . a crafty scriuener is the curse of mans crafty dealing : hee is a curious workeman , and may be free of the lock-smithes : for full of instruments hee is , and engines : and makes manacles for any mans wearing aboue twenty one. his first ambition commonly is to ioyne forces , and make vp his defects of pollicy , and custome by partaking in anothers proiects : then doth hee readily aspire to frequented places , a conuenient shop , the notice of his neighbours , and so engrosse credit , or some text widdow , by the nouerint of his grogrengowne : a cōmon strumpet neuer fawned so much on a young h●…ire , as hee with flattery obferues the vsurer , and with nice dutifull care to preserue him , makes his rotten hide , the chiefe indentures that containe his title . obligations bee his best prayers : for hee cannot tie god to performe conditions , or put in suertyship . his friendship hath a counter-maund of being too honest ; which hee wil obey , rather then not saue by the bargaine . hee is the safest man from danger in the ped●…gree of rapines ; for first , the gallant liues by sale and countrey tenants ; the citizen by the gallant ; the scriuener and the deuill vpon both , or all : so neitherliues by losse with the gallant , nor vpon trust , with the citizen : his condemnatiō is a knot of seales and their impression : the first discouer to him a conformed vnity ; yet none hath more hand in the procuring of variance . the last d●…scouers a tractable nature , which giues & takes impression of the ●…irst ( that is to giue ) he knowes no meaning but when he giues the print of his fist , that it may sticke by elder brothers a whole age : of the last ( that is to take impression ) he knowes none but a wrong meaning : for the best seale that imprints loue in him , is onely the kings picture ; and that loue continues no longer then he beholds it . his quills and instruments betoken peace : you cannot therefore expect more valour in him , then to win ground by the aduantage of weake prodigalls , and such as runne away from thristinesse : they be most importunate with him : with them he preuailes most : to them he sels his extortious nature at the highest value , because they be most willing to make it their peny-worth . is it possible hee should escape damnation , when his whole trust and dealing is in great security ? hee will suspend his neerest familiars , and not absolutely resolue them what he is able to doe ; in hope to purchase a supper or some prouoking remtmbrance : and if hee be brought to testifie against his vsurer , he will counterfeit his knowledge , worse then a commō bawd that is questiond by an officer about whoores . i know not how he should be trusted in his dealing : for when he promises to do much for a spēd-thrifts bribe , hee writes against him soon after , by making that bond , which he knowes will be forfeited . his memory is his own ; another cannot safely trust it , in reckoning the day of payment : for he reckons what he can saue , by renewing the hazard of a second forfeit , not your los●…e by the first : and so he ouer-reaches you , by ouer-reaching the time , when you trust his memory : if you trust him therefore you may feele the forfeite , and pay largely for an acquittance . he may perhaps helpe a friend in aduersitie , but he will be damnd first ; by helping more for profit sake then friendship . his learning iumps iust with , or falls sometimes short of an atturnies ; being onely able to repeate the asore-said forme to thousand purposes : so all his mystery indeed is nothing to encrease his art , but his policy , or plaine knauery : and that being serued in , to the worlds banquet , represents a large foxes head , and a little sheep-skinne in diuers dishes . it is the totall of his creed , that nothing should be iustified , or called lawfull , which hath not hand and seale : that makes him exercise hand and seale , as the warrant for deuises of his head and soule . he neuer rayses the spi rit of a prodigall by charmes , but he together rayses the spirit of māmon a citizen ; and then this potent coniurer bindes them both fast in a quadrangle . hee will seeme to know the statute and common law ; but commonly the construction failes him ( for he lookes to his owne aduantage ) except the law hath practised vpon his hearing , to teach the comment when he mistakes the law. hauing at length beene a long auditor to the sweet lecture o●… vsury , hee loues the matter so well , that he becomes proficient , graduate , and professour in the science : but after generall profession he approches quickely to his center ( from whence he sprung ) nothing . charact . xiiii . a wrangling welch client is a good iourney-man , if not a good foot-man ▪ he is the onely friend of ●…awyers ( i●… they be welch begotte●… ) and still sollicites them for a iudgement . but we may credibly thinke he will entertaine english lawyers likewise ; for he makes the contention of wales exceed the wranglings of norfolke already . his valour is , that he can by no meanes carry coales ; and is euer therefore fittest for an action of the case . when hee expresseth ( as oftentimes hee doth ) bountie to out-braue his aduer●…ary before his counsell , then doth he rather and indeed expresse a spightfull arrogance ; manifesting that he beleeues himselfe to be a kinsman of cadwallader , though he deriues his pedegree from the dust of ninetynine generations : and he thinkes himselfe ennobled by the conceit of owen tudor as much as if they had beene brothers children . when hee visits offices he will drawe such a number of purses ( if his aduersary be present ) that you may thinke he hath cutt or found a douzen in or betwixt wales & westminster . his pride lies wrapt vp in a clout betweene his legges , or in a pocket in the armehole : from thence hee drawes his angels to feed his lawyer , though himselfe sleepe supperlesse . ( howsoeuer ) hee is content to be his owne cooke ; and though his dyet be slender , yet his money and victuals lie within a clowtes thicknesse : which might excuse him from a beggerly want of food , but rather detects him of a beggarly pride . it is impossible he should eate much : for the least prouocation makes him so froward ; that you may verily thinke hee hath eaten her pelly full of wasps and salamanders , euery houre in the day . but he saues many meales in cheesemongers shops ; by tasting often : and when he hath disliked all , hee contents himselfe with a parcel of two peniworth at the cha●…delors . he makes the tearme his time of pilgrimage , and offices at law , the shrine where hee offers vp his douotion : which ( after he hath ended his voyage ) amounts to voluntary pennance ; for he travailes bare-foote . though he bee long in trauaile and tarries late , yet nothing can be recouered by default of apparance : for invndations be his perpetuall affidauit : and he sweares 〈◊〉 was ouerflowed with a witnes ; when all the country about complaind of drynes . the profit which he giues to english law yers , he giues generally to the lawes profession : that proceeds from his language , which to the credit of innes of court , and lawe french , he vtters harshly , with great amazement of beholders . his body is so proportioned to his minde , and his clothes to his body , that you cannot finde a fitter modele of enuy in the most beautifull worke of spencer : for as 〈◊〉 pines away her c●…rcasse when another thriues , so cannot she be cloathed better then ( as a welch clyent is ) with spoiles of innocence ; erise ; or cotton . the best thing about him worth commendation is , that he cannot long dissemble his cariage and malice ; for he goes without a cloake continually . a peece of parchment and a seale throughly paid for , sat●…sfies him presently in stead of iudgement ; but otherwise he spends his faith vpon the hope of costs : and if he dies before execution , he scarce hopes to be saued . many of the nation were offended lately with this character , which nothing doth concerne them ; if they had saued their fury , they might haue beene thought wiser-men . charact . xiiii . a plaine country bridegroome is the finest fellow in the parish ; and hee that misinterprets my definition , deserues no rosemary nor rose-water : he neuer was maister of a feast before ; that makes him hazard much new complement : but if his owne maister bee absent , the feast is full of displeasure ; except in his latter dayes he grew rebellious . he shewes neere affinity betwixt mariage and hanging : and to that purpose , he prouides a great nosegay , and shakes hands with euery one he meets , as if he were now preparing for a condemned mans voyage . although he points out his brauery with ribbands , yet he hath no vaine-glory ; for he contemnes fine cloathes with dropping pottage in his bosome . the inuitation of guests , prouision of meate , getting of children , and his nuptiall garments , haue kept his braine long in trauaile ; if they were not arguments of his wooing oratory . he inuites by rule within distance , where he hopes to preuaile ; not without some paraphrase vpon his meaning . but ( howsoeuer ) he seemes generous : for nothing troubles him , or takes away his stomacke more , then default of company : yet in his prouision he had ra●…her take away your stomacke then fill your belly . as for his children if he begets aboue three , he may beget for gods sake to store the parish . and yet his rayment ( for the time ) must shew much varietie , the taylor likewise must be a vexation to him , or his cloathes would neuer sit hansomely : but ( aboue all ) a bridle in his mouth would serue better then a pickadell ; for if you restraine him from his obiects , & the engine of his necke , you put him into the pillory . he hath long forecast with his sweet-hart in some odde corner of the milke-house , how he may goe the sparingest way to worke when he marryes : and he hath only that meanes to make her beleeue he is a frugall good husband ▪ but though he meditates a twelue month , he cannot finde wisedome to spare halfe a yard , in the length , of his faire troublesome cloake . he must sauour of gallantry a little ; though he perfume the table with rose-cake ; or appropriate bone-lace , and couentry-hlew . he hath heraldy enough to place euery man by his armes : but his qualitie smels rancke with running vp and downe to giue a heartily welcome : blame him not though he proue preposterous : for his inclination was perhaps alwayes good , bu●… his behauiour now begins : which is notwithstanding ( he thinkes ) well discharged if when he dances , the heeles of his shooes play the galliard . charact : xvi . a plaine countrey bride is the beginning of the world : or an old booke with a new title : a quarters wages before hād and the title of a countrey dame be the two adamants of her affection . shee rises with a purpose to be extreamely sober : this begets silence , which giues her a repletion of aire without ventage : and that takes away her appetite . shee seemes therfore commendably sober vnto all : but she driues the parson out of patience with her modestie , vnlesse he haue interest , or be inuited : she inclines to statelinesse , though ignorant of the meaning : her interpretor , taster , caruer , and sewer , be therfore accidentall : and yet without these , she were an image to the assembly : all the good ornaments that she hath to grace her when she is married ; be the seuerall tunes of ballades & songs besides halfe a douzen tales and prouerbs , with as many tales & rid●…les ; and guilt rases of ginger rosemary and ribbands be her best magnificence . she wil therfore bestow a liuery , thoug she receiues back wages : behauiour sticks to her like a disease ; necessitie brings it , neither can shee take pleasure in the custome : & therfore importunacie with re petition , enforce her to dumbe signes : otherwise you must not expect an answere . she is a curteous creature : nothing proceedes from her without a curtesie . when the wedding dinner is ended , she hath a liberty from that day forward , to talke of weaning calues and fatting poultrie among the housewiues to her lifes end . she hath no rarity worth obseruance , if her gloues be not miraculous and singular : those bee the trophy of some forlorne sutor , who contents himselfe with a large offering , or this glorious sentence , that she should haue bin his bed-fellow . her best commendation is to be kist often : this onely proceeds from her without interruption . she may to some seeme very raw in carriage : but this becomes noted through the feare of disclosing it . she takes it by tradition from her fellow gossips , that she must weepe showres vpon her marriage day : though by the vertue of mustard and onions , if shee cannot naturally dissemble : but good simplicity hath not taught her the courte-inuention , to squeake loude enough on her marriage night likewise : so shee hath little or nothing to confirme her honesty : besides that which plaine innocency affords . now like a quiet creature she wishes to loose her garters quickly , that she may loose her maiden-head likewise . and now she is layd . charact . xvii . my mistresse is a magicke glasse : in which you may discerne va●…ities of the world , her selfe , and other women . she is a most intricate female text ; and though her workes bee common , yet you may longer and with lesse perfection study her meaning then the common law : for she is ready to giue a new , before you haue learned the olde lesson . shee hath a multitude of seruants and suffers all to bee before hand in their wages that they may still continue seruiceable . she may be truely said afayre one ; for like some faire of a dayes length her beautie spreads at morning and vanishes at night . the truth is i first began to looke vppon her , because shee said shee loued a poet well , and was in part a poetresse : for which good quality i might haue loued her likewise but she was onely good at long hexameters , or a long and a short euen for varietie-sake ; which came so full vppon ouids amorous veine , that i despised her meaning . you may well trust her that she will proue fruitfull : for she is a vessell made for burthen ; and is therefore light in cariage . her affection toward sweete meates haue made her like a sugar chest apt to take fire . she had her education vnder a great countes ; and if she could leaue the courtship shee learnt whē she was a waiter , she might quickly proue a reasonable good womā . her body is ( i presume ) of gods making : & yet i cānot tell , for many parts therof she made her selfe . her head is in effect , her whole body and attire : for from thence , and the deuises there ingendred , proceedes her blushing modesty , her innocent white teeth , her gawdy gownes , her powdred hayre , her yellow bands , her farthingales , and false diamonds . all these together , and a quicke fansie commend her function : for fidlers and painters bee full of crotchets . shee is well acquainted with games , and is so farre confident they be lawfull , that shee makes no more conscience to couzzen you , then to handle a paire of cards . she is alway loose-bodied ; conserue of sloes cannot binde her . you need not make the question whether she can sing ; for visitation will teach you , that she can scarce leaue singing . and as for dauncing , she wil aske the question of you . she hath the trick of courtship not to bee spoken with ; to take phisicke , and to let her mountebancke bee the best ingredient . she hath at idle houres handled phisicke points her selfe : and if any man aduentures on her receipts , hee will hardly scape a scowring . she is better then greshams almanacke to foretell seasons : when she complaines of head-ach , it signifies faire weather : for then she is meditating to deceiue some honest gull : and when she complaines downewards , of the winde collicke , it signifies an vncleane season . suspecting that a fresh suiter hath or may bee ill informd of her conditions , she will protest before-hand that she was once troubled with a sixe moneths timpany . her wit is dainty because seldome : and whatsoeuer is wanting in the present delicacie of conceit , she makes good by rehersal of stolne witty answers , euen to the seauenth edition . she purposes to trauell shortly : but her meaning is to returne with some french commodity ; and she will rather fetch it , though she may be furnished at home , because shee loues the cheapest ware , and the out-landish fashion . she doth ambitiously bragge of the respect shee found among my lords followers ; and ( so hoping to perswade by credit of her education ) shee giues any man a gentle warning to refuse her . her generosity extends thus farre ; to bestow loue , and looke for neither thankes nor requitall : because a marmoset and little dog are ignorant of both . these excepted , she neuer loued truly . her morall vertues be a subtill thrift , and a thriuing simplicity . but whilst she makes the best construction of a matter , she would make likewise a thousand pound ioyncture of her behauiour only , and courtcariage . this bargaine is open for any man , who thinkes not the peny-worth doubtfull . and yet i must confesse freely she hath more goodnes about her little finger , then i haue about my whole body : i meane her diamond . her best religion is to teach a parret the lords prayer ; but the ten commandements be a new matter : so that petitions be more plausible with her , then instructions at her owne request therefore i giue this to her looking-glasse . charct : xviii . a gossip is a windie instrument ; a paire of bellowes , or indeed two : for without her fellow , she is nothing . these labour ioyntly as at an alchymists furnace , onely to beget vapours : she receiues and sends backe breath with advantage ; that is , her function . her end is to kindle ; that is , to warme , or burne : she can do both . and being quiet , or not in contention , she is without her calling ; that is , her company . her knowledge is her speech ; the motiue , her tongue ; and the reason her tongue also : but the subiect of her conference is the neighbours wife , and her husband ; or the neighbours wife and husband both . the modesty that i could euer obserue in her dealing , is thus much only : she must be twise intreated among strangers , before she takes downe a whole glasse . she is the mirth of marriages , and publicke meetings : but her naturall season comes in with a minc'd pye , at christmas ; when all may attend with leasure . she carries her bladder in her braine ; that , is full ; her braine in her tongues end ; that she empties : it was washed downe thither with pintes of muscadine ; and being there , she looses it like vrine , to ease her kidneyes : which would otherwise melt with anger , if she might not speake freely . being once a seruant , she then learnt to runne , or goe apace ; that shee might tarry and take , or giue intelligence by the way . she aemulates a lawyer in riding the circuite , and therefore she keepes a circuit , in , or out of her owne liberties : striuing to be both one of the iudges , iury & false witnesses : for she loues , to be vniuersall . she contemplates within , that she may practise abroad , and then she spewes vp secrets as if they were mixd with stibium : her reasons be colour ; that she dawbes on euery fable : her truth is , to make truths and tales conuertibles : tales be her substance , her conceit , her vengeance , reconcilements , and discourse . not one woman in the parish shall commonly be accounted honest without her licence : which must be purchasd by consenting to her motions . she makes euery new inhabitant pay the tribute of an inuitation , before she speakes well of him , or calls him neighbor : and by the vertue of a speciall mouth-glew , she cleaues readily to all acquaintance . to talke of cookerie , or cleanlinesse , & to taxe others , is her best and onely commendation . her lungs be euerlasting : she cannot be shortwinded : i●… those would perish , she might be recouered . she is a like dangerous with the poxe , to the towne where she inhabites : and being pledged , or admitted among the females she infects more easily . if she railes against whoredome , it sauours not of deuotion ; for she is onely married , to escape the like scandall ; from the doore outward . she is more fugitiue then a swallow : there is no hold to be taken of her in her owne house : a venison pasty will drawe her all ouer the parish : nay her nostrill is so quicke , that she will discouer it though it be mutton , within a miles compasse ; and vexe all the neighbors with her impudence if she be not inuited . the buriall of a second husband giues her the title of experience ; but when she hath out-liued three , she takes authority and experience both ( as a souldier that hath passed the pikes of three set battailes ) for granted . her commendable antiquitie reaches not aboue fiftie ; for growing old , she growes odious to her selfe first : and to preuent the losse of company ; ( hauing liued vainly ) she commences hostesse : that alone preserues her humour . a mungrill print would b●…st expresse her character : for she is indeed a mungrel woman or the worst part of both sexes , bound vp in one volume : seeing she corrupts the best by the vse of them . charact . xix . an old woman is one that hath seene the day : and is commonly ten yeares younger , or ten years elder by her owne confession , then the people know she is : if she desires to be youthfull accounted , you may call her mistres , widow , or the like : but otherwise old mother , grandam , and such names that seale antiquitie : the first she takes well , if childlesse : the last neuer well , but when shee can speake wonders to grand-children of the third generation . if they please her , she hath old harry soueraignes , that saw no sunne in fiftie yeares , to giue away on her death bed . if shee bee not toothlesse , her teeth eate more then they chaw : for i presume they are hollow . she loues the vpper end of the table , and professes much skill in cookery : shee thinkes it also some felicitie to giue attendance about sick persons : but is the common foe to all physitians . in agues , aches , cough , and tissickes , she confidently will vndertake to cure by prescription : if her selfe bee vntainted . as for diseases which shee knowes not , she dares proceed to dragon-water , holy-thistles , worme-wood drinkes , and clisters , without the helpe of galen , or hyppocrates . if she blushes at the sunne rising , her colour changes not till bed time : and some times though she drinkes down her break-fast , by dinner time her teeth be grown , and she wil seeme to chew the cud . shee lusts abundantly toward young women , that shee may talke as dame regent ; or fall into discourse of childbirth and midwiues . she may as safely walke amongst contagious leapers , as into the kitchin ; and smels infection , or perfume with the same nostrill . she hath perpetually the pride of being too cleanl●…e or the adherent vice of being too sluttish . she affects behauiour in the brood of youth , and will divulge her secrets of superstition to any that wil be attentiue . she hath with many complaints of aches in her hippes bought an almanack to know change of weather . enuy is to her an inseparable twinne , and though it be offensiue commonly to few , yet doth it oftentimes consume her selfe , and starue away her memory . charact . xx. a witch is the deuils hostesse : hee takes house-roome and diet of her ; and yet shee payes the reckoning : guilty thoughts and a particular malice to some one person makes her conceiue a detestatiō of all : her policy of sequestration , to auoide iealousie of neighbours , detects her enuious spirit : for the melancholy darknes of her low cottage , is a mayne coniecture of infernals : her name alone ( being once mounted ) makes discourse enough for the whole parish : if not for all hamlets within six miles of the market . she receiues wages in her owne coyne : for she becomes as well the obiect of euery mans malice , as the fountaine of malice towards euery man. the torments therefore of hot iron , and mercilesse scratching nayles , be long thought vppon , and much threatned ( by the females ) before attempted . meane time she tolerates defiance thorough the wrathfull spittle of matrons , in stead of fuell , or maintenance to her damnable intentions : shee is therfore the ignorant cause of many witches besides her selfe : for ceremonious auoidance brings the true title to many , although they hartily scorne the name of witches . her actions may well seeme to betray her high birth and pedegree : for shee doth quickly apprehend a wrong before it bee mentioned ▪ and ( like a great family ▪ takes no satisfactiō which doth not infinitely counterua●…le the abuse : children therefore cannot smile vpon her without the hazard of a perpetuall wry mouth : a very noble-mans request may be denied more safely then her petitions for butter-milke and small beere : and a great ladies , or queenes name may be lesse doubtfully derided her prayers & amen , be a charm and a curse : her contemplations and soules delight bee other mens mischiefe : her portion & sutors be her soule , and a succubus : her highest adorations bee yew trees , dampish church-yards , and a fayre moone-light : her best preseruatiues be odde numbers , and mightie tetragramaton : these prouocations to her lust with deuills , breedes her contempt of man ; whilst she ( like one sprung from the antipodes ) enioyes her best noone about midnight : and to make the comparison holde , is trodden vnder foote by a publicke and generall hatred ; shee is nothing , if not a pythagorean ; for she maintaines the transmigration of spirits : these doe vphold the market of bargaine and sale among them ; which affoords all sorts of cattell at a cheaper rate then bankes his horse , and better instructed : but ( like a prodigall ) she is out-reached , by thinking earnest is a payment ; because the day is protracted . her affections be besotted in affection of her science ▪ she would not else delight in toades , mice , or spinning cats without deuersity : it is probable she was begotten by some mounte-banke , or wording poet , for she consists of as many fearefull sounds without science , and vtters them to as many delusiue purposes : she is a cunning statuary : and frames many idols these she doth worship no otherwise then with greedy scorne : and yet she is a deepe idolater . implication is enough with her ; to bespeake any mans picture , without his entreaty : for if it appeares that he can prouoke her , it implyes likewise that he desires to be remembred by her ; and images be a certaine memoriall . shee seldome liues long enough to attaine the mysterie of oyntments , herbs , charmes , or incantations perfectly : for age is most incident to this corruption , and destiny preuents her . but howsoeuer shee bee past childebearing , yet shee giues sucke till the latest minute of fi●…escore and vpwards . if she out liues hempe ; a wooden halter is strong enough : vnlesse she saues a labour . but god forbid that age , simplicity , and froward accusations should be a witches tryall . charact . xxi . a pandar is the scab of a common-wealth : surfeits raise him to a blister ; necessity , and want of good surgeons , make him a mattery sore ; whilst time and tobacco brings him to be a dry scale . he is commonly the vpshot of a yonger brother , who lackes honestie and inheritance ; or the remainder of a ●…rodigall , who hath lost them and himselfe . his etymologie is pawne-dare : which intimates , hee dares pawne his soule to damnation ; or his stolne parcels to the brokers . or you may call pandar , quasi pinne the dore . bawdy songs and he came both in together , for he is no generous companion except he can sing , and also compose stinking ditties . he hath beene a great hunter vp & downe in his daies , and therefore ( it is no wonder ) if towards a decay he become warrener . arts he studies not ; neither wishes any but rhetoricke to catch maiden-heads . he is the deuils country-man or indeed acquaintance : therefore in the deuils absence hee proues his deputie ; and welcomes customers with fire-workes : a pipe of tobacco , & a h●…t q●…eane . he is a corrup●… 〈◊〉 : ●…or he hath made 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 deriuation of body . 〈◊〉 vsher-like attendance on publike whores hath made coaches frequent ; to distingush them & priuate ones . his valour is expressed in blacke patches ( much about roaring boyes humour ) but playsters , which expresse him more ventrous , hee conceales . he wishes to be the first teacher of a nouice : and ( being so admitted his tutor ) hee first teaches him to beware of adultery and theft , by bringing him into danger of both , before he deserues it . and with those two vices he doth first accuse him , because himselfe is best acquainted with those two . he may truely boast if he returnes from warre , that hee returnes wounded to the bones ; for he was wounded so before he went. if he be married , hee hath diuorced himselfe , because his wife was honest , & so means to continue : or ( being dishonest ) because she was odiously deformed , not worthy to entice others ▪ in the vacation time he teach●…s his whores the knowledge of false dice & cheating , by way of recreation ; or he trauailes to get money with his monsters at sturbridge faire . his greed is a matter of three articles , and them he beleeues actually : first , that there is no god : secondly , that all women , and more especially that all citizens wiues , bee , or would bee , common , or peculiar whores : and lastly , that all things are lawfull , which can escape the lawes danger : good examples therefore preuaile with him , as showers among the stones they make him more slipperie & studious to deceiue the people : for the more people be seasond with good examples , the more ready he is to intrappe them ; not to imitate . his fellowships be retired , and within dores : for being abroad , he is a sober lumpe of villany ; delighting vnsociably ( like a cut-purse , & for the same reason ) rather in multitudes then ciuill numbers . the ●…awd and hee , are chiefe cōfederats : with whom together , ( as occasion happens ) the constable hath standing wages to be an assistant ; euery way as dangerous as the other two . bowling allies , di●…ing-howses , and tobacco shops , be the temples , which he and his fraternitie of roarers , haue erected to mercury and fortune : in the two first , he doth acknowledge their deity : in the last he offers smoaking incense to them both , in recompence of booty gotten by chance and cheating . if the gallowes be disappointed of his desteny ; they can blame nothing but his tender bones , which could not brooke so long a iourney ; or a whores quarell , whilst wine was his leader . honest men are afraid of him and knaues and whores bee suspicious of him ; for he is an euill spirit ▪ hee was neuer generally commended but when hee went to hanging ; then hee was commended ( doubtlesse ) for a propperman : for euery fellow withan entire doublet is called propper man when hee rides to tiburne . charact . xxii . a friend is one of the waightiest sillables ( god excepted ) that english or any language doth afford . he is neerer to me then marriage , or naturall kindred of the same bloud ; because loue without kindred or ceremony , is more to be admired ; and by the consequent more precious . marriage and kindred goes oftentimes no further then the name or body : but friendship is annexed with vnanimity . my friend therfore is either disposed ( as i am ) well : or well disposed to make me better . his multitude of acquaintance doth not extenuate his loue , nor deuide his affectiō . his lower fortunes be not distasted , not dissembled , nor swolne bigger then they bee . he must not be imployed in trifles and continually , like a seruant ; nor with expectation , like a sonne : for an absolute friend will finish ( when importance calles ) before he can be requested . he therefore among all , confutes the saying of * wares profferd : for what a friend giues freely , either to preuent request , or to 〈◊〉 a modest silence ) inchāts 〈◊〉 party . hee is much dearer , then my leggs and armes , for he is my body and my soule together . his honour is true loue : which being so , hee loues because he will not , & not because he cannot alter : that man cannot alter , who cannot with honesty disclaime affection ; as being tyed with dotage or fauour●… aboue merrit and requitall : but friends will not : which signifies that their loue depends vpon approbation of the naked man. a friend therfore must be freely chosen not painfully created : for iealousies and feares intrude when fauours be not mutuall ; if fauours bee the first beginning . he is manifest to me , whilst inuisible to the world : and is indeed much about the making of this character ; little in worth and little pleasing at the first sight . hee is able and willing , to councell , to perform . a second meeting thinkes him fitt ; a second tryall knowes him a fit friend . the meere imagination of a friends loue is an inchanted armor : my heart is impenetrable whilst i weare the comfort : for whether i suruiue or dye , my friend pre-serues me . time nor anger can dissolue his amity : for either he submits and i pardon , or i submit & he pardons . hee is like a true christian , that vndertakes & suffers for christs sake as a freind for his freinds sake with equall ioy , both credit and discredit , rest and trauaile . being once had , a freind is full enough , and true a needles epithite : for i am his , he mine : and being so , we are one to another the best or no freinds . it is foolish paganisme to worship the suns rising , which doth regard al alike with his idolaters : and it is crazy dotage for any to honour that freind , who prostitutes his fauour to the * worlds liking . a perfect freind , thinkes freindship his felicity : without which estimation , the neerest freindship , is but a sociable custome : for man hath neuer made an action perfect , vnlesse he drew felicitie from his actions nature . charact . xxiii . a sicke machiauell pollititian is a baked meate for the deuill ; and a dinner of dainties for phisitians : the villany which makes him fit for the deuils banquet , is close and priuate : but his bountie to preuaile with phisicke is prodigall . he is in securitie a * contingent gull ; in death a possible confusion : for sicknes lookes for him , before he looked for it ; vnlesse he poysons himselfe : therefore he is taken vnprouided ; so , proues a gull : and vpon deaths approach , he feeles a tumult within himselfe because he looked no sooner . he thinkes vpon his lifes proceedings , either with careles infidelitie , or sorrow to be interrupted : and he fi●…des no shifting pollicy to answere his lowd conscience , but only this , * ar●… d●…luditur arte : meaning that it was lawfull for him to cousen the world , which otherwise would haue consend him . religious i cannot call him ; * sacer i may call him iustly : for hee among the romans was entitled sacer , who by the people was generally condemned ; a●…d such is the generall fortune of a pollitician , when he growes sicke and toward a conclusion . in health he was like the nimph echo mentioned in outds fables : for he was alway deeply in loue with his owne pollicy ; but pollicie * despising to be his safegard against sicknes , he turnes ( as echo did ) into noyse : for none is spoken of , so much as a pollitician neere his death . it is deliuered , that the * romans chose no senatour till he had worne his age by likelyhood past the meaning and sence of pleasure : destiny hath taken the same order with a pollitician : for he is neuer admitted to his infernal dignity , til he grows decrepit ; and almost weary of himselfe . but i admire how poyson should molest him : because he & poysō haue bene the most assured friends and familiars . the faculties of his soule are much indebted to the deuill : for he hath borrowed many darke inuentions from his patterne : and therefore like a bankro●…t he dares not walke abroad out of his body ; least he should be arrested by the deuils officers . he may be truly likend to the couetous man ; who scornes to be accounted poore , and is vnwilling to be accounted rich : a pollititian likewise will not , in sicknes nor in health seeme careles of religion , as if he wanted piety ; nor scrupulous in conuersation , as if he dealt only with puritans . when he was lusty and in perfect health , his agents were like the tinkers dog , which carries his maisters budget and knowes no meaning of the tooles : but when he falls sicke he makes euery messenger know his griefe . as * cleomines interpreted the fire which brake from iunoes image , so may we interpret a pollititians sicknes : if it proceeds from his heads deuises , as when he counterfeits to worke some subtlety , then we may looke that he will prevaile and recouer : but when his paines proceed really from the hart , we may then imagine that he can goe no farther . he makes me think of many gamesters ; who play cunningly while they can loose little ; but when they hazard a round purchase , they proue arrant bunglers : and so the pollitician is a most accurate gamester whilst hee doth only hazard some reparable fortune , but now he ventures the maine happines , life , he quailes and growes faint-hearted . in health he presumes to be so much a man , that he will gouerne monarchyes and men : but being ( as i haue superscribed him ) sicke , he shewes himselfe a little childe , which cryes most when it is vndressing , and made ready for the cradle . his pollicyes were of a fine thrid , quicke and liuely : sicknes therefore lumpish , agrees worse with him , then durty weather and silke stockings . you may perceiue when honest men dissemble , easily : for they will seeme distracted and will stammer in conference : because they feele their meaning and their speech diuided ; which pulls them two contrary wayes at once : but a curious politician dissembles more intricately : because he will not listen to his hearts meaning , when he shadowes hate or piety with appearance : and therfore we are much beholding to his extreame sicknesse : for then hee is so farre from coulouring his anguish , that he discouers many more faintings then he needs . death and sicknes makes him differ from a vegetable : for as a vegetable consists of salt , sulphur and mercury ; so likewise a politician excells in three like properties : wit , sudden execution , and enuy : but this makes the difference : a vegetable yeelds the qualities , when it selfe perishes : a politician , when he is best in health . no maruell though he be danted when hee remembers the next world , though in a staggering beleefe : for by the warrant of potions , gloues , sallets , priuy stubbs , and false accusers , he hath sent so many thither before him , that hee may iustly feare they will sue an appeale against him . sicknes and importunacy to recouer health layes him open to a double mischief ; death and dishonor of manhood : for he tha●… craues helpe where helpe cannot be afforded , suffers a double grie●…e ; want and dispaire : as hee that walkes vnder a narrowe pent-house to shield himselfe from raine , f●…eles a double shower ; droppings from heauen , and euesdropps . a politician holds that opinion of aduancement which the * roman south-sayers held of the north-side : he thinkes it fortunate because it is aboue the vulgar : and therefore is he most vnwilling to decline , because death makes * aequality . howsoeuer it is vnto him a greater sorrow to meditate the way of death , then to be dead ; for being dead he looks for no disquiet . but after death his name growes old with being odious , like that infortunate * valerian , whose age was long , but taedious and disgracefull . charact : xxiiii . a page is an abridgement of greater charges , sprung from the destruction of hospitality and surloignes . he had neede be wel garded : for he is too little to defend himselfe : and yet hee hath proued himselfe a tall champion ; for he and a footeman haue driuen away many valiant bucklers , and blew-coates . when hee serues a master , it may be the title of his function to bee squire of the body , for he waites neere about his person , and carries his weapons : being little hee is my ladies iewell : therefore shee thinkes him pretious ; and finds no faulte with him but because he lacks weight : which is often times the weake reason why my lady liues honest . though hee bee little , hee hath a reasonable soule : but i can see little difference betwixt him and a mounkey : they both serue to passe away time ; and almost in the same manner : being either to be whipped or handled , or to be looked vpon . it seemes to me that his parents doubted of his long life ; and therefore they take a course betimes that hee may know the world before hee dies , and learn experience while he liues : for before he grows to a yards length , he hath wickednede enough taught him , to damne a thrise bigger body with out originall sinne . he and a wench differ most in apparel he hath power to entise : for hee takes by gift a lease for yeers of cupids diety ▪ which ha●…h continuance no longer then he is vnder growth . among all of what condition and degree soeuer , he will be drunke most early and betimes in the morning : for he learnes to stagger at twelue and to bee dead drunke at fifteene : which is , to be drunke almost by fiue a clock in the morning : for fifteene yeeres of age , is three quarters past foure ; reckoning foure yeeres to an houre from the natiuity . hee belongs most commonly to the man ; but hee is the womans play-fellow . hee is much about the bignesse of hercules his foote ; the impression whereof ( according to herodotus ) amounted to two cubits length : but whereas the same author saith that the great region of exampei afforded little worth noting besides hercules , his foote , i may protest it afforded nothing in comparison of a page : for that being a region of two thousand miles compas , had onely an impression of two cubits : but a page in the little compasse of two cubits , hath a whole worlde of roguery : which hee may perhappes iustifie according to his oath because he cannot well discerne that his oath is better broken then kept : & so does nothing against his conscience . he smells after the waighting-gentlewoman , as fancy my ladies dog , after the great spaniell-bitch : he proffers sayre , but can doe little to the purpose . hee speakes bawdy freely as if it were his mother tongue : but he cannot bee so bad as his word . and thus by meere chaunce with a little dash i haue drawne the picture of a pigmey . i thinke it the most vnprofitable , inhumane , and wretched basenesse , to multiply the least afflictiō ; much more to triumph in a great mans sorrow : if therfore thou didst expect some sawcynesse , like to the late elegies , vnder this title , repent thy folly before thou makest it knowne . charact . xxv . an honest shepheard is a man that well verifies the latine peece , qui bene latuit bene vixit : hee liues well that liues retired : for hee is alwayes thought the most innocent because hee is least publicke : and certainely i cannot well resolue you whether his sheepe or hee be more innocent . giue him fat●…e lambes , and faire weather and he knowes no happines beyond them . he shewes most fitly among all professions , that * nature is contented with a little for the sweete fountaine is his fayrest alehouse ; the sunny ban●…e his best chāber . adam had neuer lesse need of neighbors frēdship ; nor was at any time troubled with neighbors enuy lesse then hee : the next groaue or thicket will defend him from a shower : and if they be not so fauourable , his homely pallace is not farre distant . he proues quietnes to be best contentment , and that there is no quietnes like a cer taine rest . his flock affords him his whole rayment , outside and linings , cloath and leather : and in stead of much costly linnen , his little garden yeelds hemp enough to make his lockrum shirts : which doe preserue his body sweetend against courtitch and poxes , as a scare-cloath sweetens carcasles . hee giues the iust epitome of a contented man : for he is neither daunted with lightning and thunder , nor ouer ioyed with spring-time & haruest . his duly life is a delight full worke , whatsoeuer the worke be ; whether to mend his garments , cure a diseased sheep , instruct his dogge , or change pastures : and these be pleasant actions , because voluntary , patient not interrupted . he comprehends the true patterne of a moderate wise man : for as a shepheard so a moderate man hath the supremacy ouer his thoughts and passions : neither hath he any affection of so wilde a nature , but he can bring it into good order , with an easie whistle . the worst temptation of his idlenesse teaches him no further mischiefe , then to loue entirely some nut-brown milke-maid , or hunt the squirrell , or make his cosset wanton . hee may turne many rare esteemed phisitians into shame and blushing : for whereas they with infinite compounds and fayre promises , doe carry men to death , the f●…rthest way about ; he with a few simples preserues himselfe and familie , to the most lengthned sufferance of nature . tarre and honey be his mithridates and syrups ; the which together with a christmas caroll , desend his desolate life from cares and melancholy . with little knowledg and a simple saith , he purifies ●…is honest soule , in the same manner as he can wash his body in an obscure fountaine , better then in the wide ocean . when hee seemes lazy and void of action , i dare approue his harmles negligence , rather then many approued mens diligence . breifely he is the perfect allegory of a most blessed gouernor : and he that wil pursue the tropes inuention , may make this character a volume . charact : xxvi . a taylors man is a coniunction copulatiue : he makes things hang together ; & when his master seperates , he reconciles . a man would thinke he might bee trusted ; for hee goes thorough stitch with businesse . he sits brooding like a goose vpon the shop boord , and hatches parcells out of peeces . he will be any mans sumpter-horse , between six and eight in the morning : and hee lookes for twelue pence , or a tester to bring men acquainted with their owne cloathes . he loues bread by custome ; for it is a part of his trade to bee a binder hee thinkes it no sinne to second his maister : and therfore when his maister hath done stealing , hee begins . he doth or may resolue by vertue of his indentures to feele a two-folde itch , though his indenture specifies faire vsage and cleane linnen : and he holds it lawfull to shrugg vpon the shop-boord , but rather then hee will wriggle before gentlemen , he dares be bitten to the marrow . the basilisk and eagle cannot match his eye-sight : for hee can looke through buffe , or three-piled veluet , but with his needles eye . hee will stoope to your very breeches to doe you good , though you disgrace him vtterly . he carryes alwaies about him the picture of * horaces crow : but hee perceiues no such matter : he weares his apparrell by leaue of the peoples ignorance : for if euery customer could challenge his owne remnant , hee would be stript naked . he needs not vse the corn cutter ; for the slip-shoe fauours him . call his theft in question , and hee condemnes himselfe : for he pleads auncient custome ; whereas antiquity punish'd * close theeuery of that kinde , with a double payne . hee hath little or nothing to plead christianity and courage , but sitting crosse-leg'd : which property makes him reuerēce the knight semplars , and thinke that his profession hath beene of the same order hee hath no more courage then will serue to commend his owne workman-ship : and you may know as well whē a blackamore is dead , as when hee dissembles by the countenance . he deceiues freely , with small discredit , and lesse shame ; as some phisitians that bee noble-mens panders : it is incident to the profession , and past finding out . hee neede not wonder why the ●…owse should trouble his , more , then other trades : for his garments haue more seames then two or three sutes together . or you may think it reason , that he should be bittē outwardly with lice , because hee scornes to be bitten inwardly with conscience . little familiarity serues to make him ( as likewise all clownish trades-men ) your aequall , without the heralds pitty . tearing off his apparell , is the least wrong you can offer him : for hee hath his mends in his own hand . he can shew nothing to proue himselfe worth the name of man ; but his denomination of a taylors man : which argues most against him ; and proues him to bee a cowards coward : for being a seruant , hee must feare his maister , who feares all men of spirit . a paire of sheeres and a pressing iron , are his cheife goods and purchase . you may sooner make his thimble holde water , without stopping , then his fancy keepe one fashion . breifly he consists of shreds and remnants ; yet oftentimes there goes but a paire of sheeres betwixt him and a gentleman : for many gentlemen consist of out-side , in which the taylors man takes part . charact . xxvii . a fidler is , when he playes well a delight only for them who haue their hearing : but is , when he playes ill , a delight only for them who haue not their hearing ; and is alwaies a trouble to himselfe , because he heares too much : his head is wider then his braine , by so much as a carriers boot is wider then his leg ; much about halfe in halfe . hee may best endure to fall groueling in a puddle : for it is part of his profession to be a scraper . he is like the nomades , a wanderer from his child-hood : there is no certainty of his abiding : he cannot be bound prentise ; for iourny-man-like hee trauailes from place to place , seeking to be set on worke before he hath learnt his trade . being suddenly entertained without agreement , he is suddenly turnd out of dores , without giuing offence . he doth enquire out gentlemens names and lodgings as if he purposed to lye in waite for an arrest : and the truth proues little otherwise : for he doth arrest men by their ears though they haue beene in the pillory . he hath his morning , his mid-day , and his euening deuotion : wherein praying for others he findes his owne blessing . his company stand like the foremen of a iury , to giue in their verdict ; and he doth alwaies make two or three shillings be cast ; or as much as you please to giue him . he is not worth a fiddle-sticke without nimble fingers ; and they be the surest good quality to make him suspected . hope of imployment driues him vp to london : and he thinkes that an vnlucky day in terme , which is not a day of hearing . he bids god giue your worship good morrow , in the most dolefull and scuruy fashion ; that his musicke may relish the better . a new song and a base-viall makes him . he deceiues with his commodity worse then a tobacco-man : for he will vtter peg of ramsey , and the maske of lincolnes inne , both for one prise . it is not materiall how soundly , but how long he hath laid time asleepe : for that is indeed his faculty ; to be a temporall inchanter . he is a defended night-walker : and vnder priuiledge of musicke takes occasion to disquiet men , who had rather sleepe , then heare him . disquiet is not all the danger he brings with him : for he can send his little spirit of musick vpon a ladder of lute-strings , into your priuate chamber : and enforce you to picke your own pockets that he may depart contented . he disproues the rule in logicke ; quod efficit tale magis est tale : the workman is more excel-cellent then his worke : for he hath wit enough to tune his viall though his wits are alwaies vntunable . fidlers may haue the same conceit , which * scipio had among the romans : the former scipio increasd romes power : the last , romes luxury : and fidlers at first were instruments of the warres ; but now of ryot . hee lookes more to be commended by the companies ignorance then his good musicke , & more by their bounty then by their ignorance . his braines are ( like the mackerell ) a drie meate ; and and therefore they must be butterd with songs and ballads , or they bee worth nothing : the tunes warme his head , and keep it boyling : he doth apprehend tunes ( as the beadle apprehends beggars ) when they be vagrant : that they may worke together in the bridewell of his noddle , to maintaine themselues and him . the tippets of his eare be noynted with an invisible oyle of custome ; which serues to catch tunes as birdlime catches flyes ; and , being taken , one catches another . he dares intrude by vertue of his profes●…i on , not of his vocation : for hee comes without calling : but he will neither proue a delight nor trouble to any man against his will : and therefore he beginns thus ; will it please you to haue any musicke ? if that musicke rather please you , call for the fiddler himselfe . charact . xxviii . an executioner is a husbandman ; belonging to that great lordship of the world a prison . hee goes to cart commonly with vs , in these quarters ; and sometimes to harrowes with a hurdle . hee hath lawful reason to be lazy : for his haruest and seede time are at other mens appointment : malefactors are his graine ; which sowes it selfe in mischief ; while hee sleepes and dreames of no such matter : the sherife his landlord appointes the time of reaping : the ground about the gallowes is his garden plot : from whence he gathers . hemp , flax and woollen dressed ready to his hand . vpon that fruitful bowgh the gallowes , he doth ingraft his medlars : when he gathers them he contents himselfe only with parings : for knowing that their inwards be good for nothing til they be rotten , hee buries them in the ground , that they may ●…ipen & wax mellow : but he cannot looke to enioy them : for they be neuer fully ripe vntil the resurrection . the blood of ●…arles and barons , are as a fruitfull rayne to him : for it betokens & begets his plenty . with saplesse worme-eaten trunkes of ●…ereticks , he makes a bonefire ; to signifie gods gratious deliuerance of our king and kingdom , from the like danger : and when the peoples heads ( like to the tops of trees ) are ouer laden with sowre fruite , hee prunes their head ▪ branches in the pillory . but when he pares away the top close to the trunke and body , it must be intended that the body and soule will flourish better within a while after . vilaines turne hangmenn , as serpents turne dragons : a * serpent eats a serpent , before it is made adragon : and a villaine hangs a villaine before he may be called hangman . he doth obserue state in his action : for his place of presence is exceeding well hanged . the taylor cannot cousen him : his wardtobe affords choyse of garments . he resembles the gouernment of a notable tyrant ▪ he lookes to the bringing vp of his fauourites , and helpes to their bringing downe : he hath many dependant followers : for ( as the prouerb saith ) hangman leades the dance : but he behaues himselfe towardes them like a cruell master : for when they haue once shewed him a slippery trick , he puls their cloath ouer their eares , & turnes them out of seruice . hee is one of the most dangerous ignorant people ( except the maior and aldermen ) that keepes about corporations : there is no dealing with him vnder the prise of a broken ioynt ▪ you may well thinke his weapons are vnmercyfull ; for his hangers are a deadly torment . he can dispatch and execute past amendment : but the meaning of aduise he knows no●… for who can tell mee of a hangman that giues counsell ? he was neuer so much in loue with his trade as when the man preferd tyburne before burmuda : and i am halfe perswaded that if hee had but a balladmakers poetry , he would sooner make an epitaph for that freind to the gallowes , then any prince in christendom : till he turnes poet he may be thus furnished . here lies a wretch so louing to the rope , he chose it rather then bermudas hope : i blush to thinke the fellow heere remaines , he was soworthy to be hangd in chaynes . a postscript . the presse hath , in stead of pressing faults to death , begotten many faults in spight of all my diligence : it shall be therefore the weakest part of thy iudgement ( reader ) to discerne the superfluity and defect of points , words , or letters . and for the few latine quotations added in this last copie , it is left altogether to thy discretion , to thinke i meant to acknowledge euery part of allusions : and to distinguish this from the learning which lyes , in mother-tongue translations : but beware of trusting the margents ; for they bee shamefully corrupted by the printers negligence . turne ouer to the sixt impression of s. thomas ouerburyes wife ; and you may find the mad-dogs foame specified in my title sheet . finis . notes, typically marginal, from the original text notes for div a -e * ingenium nempe quòd olet can●…os mores , et constat de pelle sine corpore . i meane a wit which smells of the curr , and hath no body but a skin . * i doe not meane the vitious imitation that prouokes horace to this reprehension . quod si pallerem casu biberent exangue cuminum , o ●…mitatores ser vum pecu●… , vt m●…hi sape bilem , sape i●… cum vestri mouere tumultus . lib. epist. . notes for div a -e plautus in poenul . mart. lib e●…i . * i am heere enforced to claime characters following the wife : viz : the t●…nker , the apparatour , and almanack-maker , that i may signify the ridiculous and bold dealing of an vnknowne bot●…her : but i neede make no question what he is : for his hackney similitudes discouer him to be the rayler aboue mentioned whosoeuer that rayler be . notes for div a -e * the common law * tru●…h may be blamed but cannot be shamed . * malta 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 i●…m cecidere , caden●…o ; que nunc sunt in honore vocabula , sivolet v●…us . hor : de arte poe . * the common lawe . * 〈◊〉 quisqu●… 〈◊〉 erat a natur●… , vberiùs etiam a doctrina , 〈◊〉 , ●…ò magis refug●…ebat a legum 〈◊〉 , qui vipribus et spin●…s interclusus tenebatur . bod●…n : praefati : * or students * si cille cyn●…cus 〈◊〉 carp●…bat homines ●…ui pro ●…ona 〈◊〉 sacia 〈◊〉 , ●…t 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 contra samtatem 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 : lib. . . pliny . 〈◊〉 philost●…o . * nothing so much argues a supreame and infin●…te gouerment of of thinges , as the diuerse euent which followes from the same meanes and industry . nihil dat quod non habet , 〈◊〉 non habet 〈◊〉 nam s●… habu●…sset daret . his pollicies are not his owne : for hee would then impart thē haeriditarily to his issue . * priuatio est 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…acuum 〈◊〉 principium ●…otus : scal : . exerc. * partes homines sumus non homines . scal : de sub . 〈◊〉 maximus . rosinus . lib : . angelius : lib. . c : . * rosinus . * ages●…aus . * plutarch . valerius 〈◊〉 . fenest : lib : de sacer : rom●…e : ●… . tacius . plutarch in vita a●… at v●… labor et industria 〈◊〉 culpā , &c. ●…heophrastus . * facile est invenire baculum quo cedas canem . terentius . in ●…aeauton . * 〈◊〉 de libe●…tate he m●… : pag●… . 〈◊〉 quando semell access●… runt ad 〈◊〉 sanctorum d●…ficere 〈◊〉 dem aliqu●… do poss●…nsed 〈◊〉 totaliter & sin a ●…er . 〈◊〉 meas nemo ●…cte manu me●… . ioh. . * dictae sunt res naturales quae cunque naturae ordine fieren●… ; cum divinitus , insita vi qua subsistunt aptae sunt ad agendū vel pa●…endum : verro lib : . * aristotle . * omnis apollo in vniuersa natura suam pulsat citharam . seal : . exerc. * poema ( vta●…t possidonius ) est dict●…o numerosa , certa mensu●…a constans . atque prosae orationis speciem excedens : poesis est sig●… poema , diuinarum et humana : &c. laerti : lib : . de vit●… philoso : . * carmina secessum scribentis et otia quoe runt . our trist. . * cynthia's●…euenge ●…euenge . * sorrow may be admitted in behalfe of publick calamities which cannot bee so well tearmed a discontent . * plato galen . cicero . d. ihom. * aristotle . 〈◊〉 : lib : . . notes for div a -e * luc ▪ florus lib●… ●… . cap. . fol. . actum erat nisi marius ille saeculo contiguesset * duo apud romanos 〈◊〉 genera , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . lib. . de legibus . 〈◊〉 , & 〈◊〉 : 〈◊〉 autem sunt dicti a greco 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 quod significat vmb●…ā nam in vmb●…a sicbant & ing●…nij 〈◊〉 exercitaban●…ur . rosin●… lib. cap. . ig●…orance . spight . disdame . enuy. detractor 〈◊〉 inter 〈◊〉 blan●… nor 〈◊〉 bestias famelicas . * locus enrin est ens , quia est aliquid alicui●…s . ; est autem non ens , q●…ia ens contin●…tur ibi . exerc ▪ . . scalig : * lidi primi omniun in venerunt ludos t●…sseras & sub atty rege 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 primo qui 〈◊〉 est eo nomine : 〈◊〉 fa mē decipiehant hi popul●… in vicē ludend●… & edendo , 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . . 〈◊〉 . * atheneus lib. . cap. . * lib ▪ de 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , asserit quam - pri●…úm esse ●…il panos & frigoris & tamis patientes . * natura intendit optimum . terrores & melancholica perturbatio , partum ter●…enum , reddit iohan : gassanio de g●…gant . * 〈◊〉 was o called of an arabi●… word barbar ; which signifies to murmur , because the peoples 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a murmu●…ing to the first 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . * isti con●…●…dam 〈◊〉 glo●…ia vbi 〈◊〉 hai●… in t ●…oph●…r : lib : eth●… : cha●… : in●… o●… : qui memorat 〈◊〉 era●… ab 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 quae 〈◊〉 vix 〈◊〉 obu●… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . libertinus est manumistus servus . ●…x donati comment : ter●…nti : * e●…ratum in the last 〈◊〉 * king agesilaus teaches the resp●…ct due to comm●…n players in h●…s and were 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 cor : & thinking himself not graced enough by the kings no tice , as the king passed along , doth saw●…ily interrupt him thus ; doth not your ace know me ? 〈◊〉 said the king , thou art ca 〈◊〉 the pl●…yer . * iuxta plautinum illud 〈◊〉 : quin 〈◊〉 conductior sum quam tragaedi aut comici . * i would haue the 〈◊〉 pedant goe study ●…ogicke . * aurelius victor de vir : illust : fo . 〈◊〉 grachus tribunus plebis , leg ē tolit , ne quis quingenta p●…us habere t●…ugera . * lib . in ●…urop : tractatu . quo hisp●…norum dignitas en●…teat m●…gis , illi in app●…ratu & vestimentis omnia ponunt . * that which agrees with a couetuous ma●…s gaine , agrees with his conscience , ther●… what 〈◊〉 against 〈◊〉 ●…rofit , go●…s ag●…inst his conscience . * iuxta horatianum illud in epod . . deus haec fortasse benigna reducet in sedem vice . castig●…ndus est hic bon●…i commentarius , qui delucidat hasce partiunculas quasi digressi●…am consolation●…m : at quám sapi●… nunc 〈◊〉 it 〈◊〉 enim hic ost sensus . deut sic prouidebit fortaise 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 illa idest dolia im●…leta vinode quibus nunc 〈◊〉 est loqut , quasi de recentioribus , reducanturi●… locum buius vetust●… 〈◊〉 , ●…ressi amico meo con●…ule : et sic potius opinor intelligendus est ●…lle locu●… . * strabo : ●…ib . ●… . ●…talus rex mysiae ●…bliotheeam pergam●… oppleuit ducētum mille generibus librorum : in forum autem vsum pelles ouinae comparatae fuerū●… ; q●…ae adhuc ob 〈◊〉 t●…ntummodo causam vocantur pergamens . hee being ready to disturbe or not disturbe their customers , a●… they shall instruct him it a me dijament , tardo amico nihil est quiequam iniquius . plau. in 〈◊〉 . act . * profferd ware stinks * inuendibili merci oportot vl●…ro emptorem adducere : proba meix facile emptorem reperit . ib●…dem . * popular men cannot be perfect freinds . 〈◊〉 seu beatitudo est perfect ▪ 〈◊〉 bon●…m huma●… actio●… : ethi●… . * contingē ▪ dicitur quod est , & poterat non esse : possibile , quod non est & potest esse . mol : lib. . fol. * arte hon●…st a bene●…iceat 〈◊〉 in-honest ā 〈◊〉 ▪ which being prou●…d by many 〈◊〉 deuises ●…s also ma●… in the most no●… table st●…ry reckond by 〈◊〉 . p●…r 〈◊〉 de mag●… natur : of 〈◊〉 fol. 〈◊〉 . ●…estus : quivis homo 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 appel●… 〈◊〉 . * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ver●… in sonum 〈◊〉 ▪ * 〈◊〉 ▪ lib. . c. . * herodot●… lib. . era : . . si ex capite simulacri flāma 〈◊〉 ●…ore vt vrbem ab 〈◊〉 cap●…ret , c●… veró epec●…ore fulgur extiterit id omne fuisse con●…ectum quod deus 〈◊〉 ●…ici vo●… * ●…us lae●…us so . pars orbis septentrionalis prospera putatur ob altitudinem * mors sceptra ligonibus oequat . hor : carm ▪ lib. . * rufus f●…stus in breui ar●…o fol. captus autē valerianus in dedecore seruitutis consenuits * 〈◊〉 hercules ostendunt petrae 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 sim●…le ▪ 〈◊〉 ubitali magnitudine : uxta 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 : lib . 〈◊〉 . s. . * natura paucis con●… . * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 : ●… 〈◊〉 iuas repetitum vene●… olim , grex auium p●…umas , mo●…eat 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 da a colo●…bus . * 〈◊〉 furrunt tem 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●…ra 〈◊〉 : ma 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 nec in ●…ndestum , e●… con●… qui 〈◊〉 ●…urtum non manifestum duplionem lui●…o . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 : apud 〈◊〉 : ●… diogines calls a bad mu●…itiā the mo●…nings cocke ; because al that heare him , rise , & leaue him . i ae●…t . lib. . ●…ol . . * potentiae romanoru prior 〈◊〉 viam aperuit , luxuriae posterior aperuit : paterculus lib. . * serpens n●…serpentem com ederitnon fit draco , rich. flecknoe's ænigmatical characters being rather a new work, than new impression of the old. flecknoe, richard, d. ? approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : - (eebo-tcp phase ). a wing f estc r ocm this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : ) rich. flecknoe's ænigmatical characters being rather a new work, than new impression of the old. flecknoe, richard, d. ? [ ], p. printed by r. wood, for the author, london : . reproduction of original in huntington library. created by converting tcp files to tei p using tcp tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between and available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the , texts created during phase of the project have been released into the public domain as of january . anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. % (or pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf- unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p , characters represented either as utf- unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng characters and characteristics. - tcp assigned for keying and markup - spi global keyed and coded from proquest page images - rina kor sampled and proofread - rina kor text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion r. rich. flecknoe's aenigmatical characters . being rather a new work , then new impression of the old . london , printed by r. wood , for the author , in the year . aenigmaticall characters . the character of a character ▪ it gives you the hint of discourse , but discourses not ; and is that in mass , which you may wire-draw to infinite . 't is more seneca then cicero , and speaks rather the language of oracles then orators ; every line a sentence , and every two a period . it sayes not all , but all that it sayes is good , and like an air in musick , is full of closes , or still driving to'rds a close . 't is all matter and to the matter , and has nothing of superfluous or circumlocution . 't is that in all writings which delighteth most , and the shame of voluminous authors , that when men have read whole volumns over , they shud think that onely worthy to be born away . 't is a journey where yo● see the end from the beginning , and pass it over without weariness . 't is a market where you have fruit and flowers ready gathered , without climbing or going amongst thorns for them . in fine , 't is the quintessence of speech , and that which the french call the point o● spirit , because it penetrateth most : and in point of praise or dispraise that may be said of it , which was said of brutus , quicquid vult valdè vult : whatsoever it does it does thorowly . character . of an excellent actor . he is a delightful proteus , changing and transforming himself into what shapes he please . he puts off himself with his clothes , and never assumes himself agen ( not so much as in the tyring-house ) till the play be done . there is as much difference betwixt him and a common actor , as betwixt a ballad-singer and an excellent musician ; t'one onely mouthing it , whilst t'other artfully varies and modulates his voice ; knowing all his graces even to how much breath he is to give to every syllable . he has all the parts of an excellent orator , ( animating his words with speaking , and speech with action ) his auditors being never more delighted then when he speaks ▪ nor more sorry then when he holds his peace . yet even thên he is an excellent actor still , not falling in his part when he has done his speech , but with his looks and gesture maintaining it still unto the heighth : imagining age quod agis onely spoke to him ; so as whosoever calls him a player does him wrong , no man being less idle , nor more imploy'd then he ; his whole life being nothing else but action , with onely this difference from other men ; that as what is a play to them is his business , so what is their business is but a play to him . character . of an importunate visitant . he is the onely persecuter of ladies , and after the ten , they hold him the greatest persecution . he visits them in their chambers a nights ( when they are going to bed ) and a mornings e're they are up : nor can they be quiet in their clossets for him . no excuse of business , sleep , nor taking physick , nor that ye are gone abroad ( though you your self shud tell him so ) can keep him out ; no nor a guard of switz at door can do 't , for he 'l enter like a witch by the chimney , or like a spirit , the doo●s and windows shut ; and t' were a miracle beyond the irish friers skill , to exorcise , and cast him out . and if he be thus troublesome at home , much more does he trouble them abroad , ( where he thinks he has more liberty ) for wheresoever you go , he follows you like your shadow , and crouds himself into your coach whether you will or no. at church he is your distraction , at feasts and recreations he mars your mirth , and every where he is your sickness and disease ; so as a physician who could finde out a remedy against the gout and him , wod be richer then mayern . many have been invented but none wod serve . ill usage nor ill words won't do 't , and the keeping handsom gentlewomen and chamber-maids but redoubles the access . onely one remedy has been lately found out at bruxelles , and practis'd on marigny , which if well applied , 't is thought will rid you of him . character . of an eager disputant . he has scollarship enough ( like an ignorant conjurer ) to raise doubts , but not to lay them ; and comes from breaking priscians head to breaking your● . he thinks 't is brave to have his speech ( like dametus armor ) compos'd of several pieces of greek and latine , when indeed 't is onely cloathing eloquence in motley . he seeks contention more then truth , and you cannot do him a greater displeasure then to be of his opinion . he has too much passion to have any reason for what he sayes , and heats and grows red hot presently , with thunder in his voice and lightning in his eyes : impatient of contradiction , and contradicting every one ; so as faith that remove● mountains , can never remove him from his opinion . from question of things he comes to question of names , and from thence to misnaming them , so as by degrees at last he quite loses himself , and the state of the question too . and such as these they are who have so rent the church with their hot disputations , and made the breach so wide , as that which at first like north and south , was onely divided by an individual line , becomes at last the whole heavens distant , by their indiscreet going to the extremity of either pole. character . of a dutch waggoner . he converses so much with beasts as he is become one himself , with onely this difference , that he is a beast paramount ; and to see him mounted on his fore horse like a drill , you 'd take him for a cart-centaure , or beast two stories high . nay , to his very understanding he is one ; he understanding nothing above the elevation of his pole : and let them talk of the papists what they will , there is none speaks the language of the beast but he . they were much out of their way , who feign'd a waggoner in heaven , when with far more reason they might have feign'd one in hell : for he is more churlish then charon , and more exacting money for his fare . besides , his waggon is just like hell , where people are crouded together in perp●tual torment , whilst he layes about him like a fury with his whip . onely in this he is like phebus , or the charioter of heaven , in that he alwayes brings night with him to his journeys end . nor has t'other ( for all his twelve houses ) so many inns as he , to bait at on the way . besides , he is more inexorable then the sun ; for ioshua with calling to him once , could make him stay , which you can never do hîm , though you should call your heart out for 't . in fine , he is a very tyrant when he gets you in his waggon once , and sets as many impositions on his passengers ; amongst the rest he has one tax call'd drink-guelt , which he levies on the first four places in his waggon ; and were you forty he promises unto you all . now whether this be a flemish or holland waggoner , there lies the riddle ; onely thîs looks bigger and keeps more state , as one who may be one of myn heer 's in time , whilest t'other will never be but one of the rascal rout . character . of an ordinary french laquey . he is as mischievous all the year , as a london prentice on shrove-tuseday ; and is devillish valiant with his rapier on , but a poor divel when it is off : and you may beat him ( especially his master ) as far as cent corps de baston comes to at any time . what colour soever his livery is of , he wears mourning linnen still , and he and the dog lie together , and are correlatives . he swears and lies naturally , but steals nothing , onely all that he can lay hands on , and ( if you lay not hands on him the sooner ) runs away with it when he has done . though for running it is the worst quality he has , in lieu of which he vaults up behinde the coach as nimbly , and with as great facility , as an ape or tumbler behinde his master . for his soul he has so little care of it , as he is alwayes giving it to the devil ; and has so little care of his body too , as he is alwayes running to the burdello , till at last one running mars another , and he 's laid up in an hospital , and there 's an end of him . character . of a gamestress . made at bruxelles . some say she was born with cards in her hands , others that she will dye so ; but certainly 't is all her life , and whether she sleeps or wakes , she thinks of nothing else . she speaks the language of the game she playes at , better then ▪ the language of the countrey where she was born , and can less endure a solecisme in thât , then thîs . she knows no judge but the groom porter , nor law , but onely the law o' th' game ; in which she is so expert as they appeal to her , as from subordinate judges to the supremer ones . she loves winter more then summer , because it affords more gamesters ; and christmas more then any other time , because there is more gaming thên . she gives more willingly to the butlers , then poor folks box ; and is never more religious , then when she prayes that she may win . she imagines she is at play even when she is at church , and takes her beads for counters , her prayer book for cards , and thinks she 's shuffling when she turns o're the leaves . and she would play like nero with the town on fire ; or like archimaedes when t' were a sacking , rather then interrupt her game . in fine , 't is all her life , and as she lives so she will dye ; when she hopes to go to the gamesters paradice , and there play per omnia saecula saeculorum . character . of a fine nice city dame. she is one your cockneys call a beauty , because like a sick turkey she looks a little blewish about the gills , and has a faint white complexion of the colour of fletten milk . she has no advantage of a brown countrey lass , but onely that her complexion is the unwholesomer of the two , and her skin apter to break forth in scabs . she is so dough-bake't , and her complexion so raw , as those who have any minde to her , must have the green sickness , or be half cannibals at least . her blood is all whey , which she clarifies with physick still , whence instead of children she brings forth nothing but curds and green cheeses . she is alwayes complaining she knowes not wherefore , and would fain be sick if she knew of what ; giving that physician more who findes her out a disease , then others would do thôse who cured them of one . she longs still whether she be with childe or no , and her chiefest longing is after every new fashion ; which she must have presently , or there starts up a new disease ; and her husband gives it her , finding by dear experience , the mercers book far less chargeable then the pothecaries or physicians : so betwixt her being sick and well , he is never quiet with her , nor will she ever be sô until she be in her grave . character . of a curious glutton . the total sum of his life is in his bill of fare , and he thinks all solomons wisdom consisted in nothing else , ( he knew the nature of all fish , beasts and fowl , and herbs , trees and plants so well . ) he counts the italian the onely wise nation for faring so deliciously as they do , and calling a wise man huom de buon gusto , or one that has a good taste of things . he undertakes to tell you not onely what you should eat and drink , but also how you shud eat and drink it too ; and is ready to snatch his ruffs and goodwits out of your mouth , when he sees you swallow them greedily and ravenously ; and is mad if you drink not his verdea or frontinack as chickens do their water , with often lifting up your eyes to heaven . for the rest he is of a good nature and quiet disposition , hating all disputes , since there is no dispute of tastes ; and for disputes of religion , so they allow but of eating and drinking , he is indifferent for any one . his chiefest religion consists in keeping a calendar of the moneths and dayes when several meats come in season , which he observes as devoutly as the roman catholicks do their calendar of saints . in fine , he thinks of nothing else as long as he lives , and when he dyes , onely regrets that funeral feasts are quite left off , else he should have the pleasure of one feast more ( in imagination at least ) even after death ; which he can't indure to hear of , onely because they say , there is no eating nor drinking in the other world . character . of a gallant french monsieur . made at paris . behold this gallant hermophrodite , in the chamber more effeminate then woman , and in the field more masculine then man. it is he who has so improv'd gallantry , as it signifies not onely bravery in clothes , but in language , manners , and behaviour too . he rises a morning , and having spent some two or three hours in dressing himself , goes afterwards to the church of gallantry , where instead of his prayer book , out goes his tortoise combe , whilst the little whisper to his mistris supplies the place of jaculatory prayers ; and for one pater noster he sayes to god , he sayes ten miserere's to her . mass done , he waits upon her to her coach , then home where he dines ; so as he makes his body serve his spirits , and not his spirits his body . after dinner he dresses himselfe agen for the tour a la mode , where he falutes with good grace , and has the jolly rencounters on the way : then to the ball , where he utters such douceurs and delicate conceits , as 't is a very banquet for ladies ears . thus having his diarium , you have the whole course of his life , till he be old , if some duel or disease do not interrupt it whilst he is young . character . of a dairy . made in bedfordshire , anno . thou that of milk the name dost bear , and bourn's of water flowing thêre ; and dost me with thy name invite , of low and humble things to write : thy dairy and thy pastures fat , i 'le onely chuse to celebrate ; let others celebrate the while thy parks , and woods , and stately pile : such high things ask a higher strain , more low befits my lowly vain . in thy so rich and fertile ground , there so much plenty does abound , you 'd think fair amalthea's horn from fruitful archileos torn , some god did from next river tear , and with like bounty plac't it here . from t●is rich source , that milk does come , which when the cow does bring it home , as bees do honey to the hive , in cheese and butter they contrive : and shud ( as anciently ) some fairy nightly come and haunt the dairy , and but see how neat 't is kept , the shelves so clean , the floor so swept , money shud in their shooes be laid , instead of pinching of the maid . how happy shud we mortals be ? did all example take from thee : where all th' oppression ●hat there is , is onely in their making cheese ; and where there 's no p●rcussion , but onely to make butter come . idolat'ry that in ancient time was their religion , as their crime , with some excuse we might allow , had they alone ador'd the cow , ( from which such plenteous good does come ) and let their other beasts alone . from that comes butter , milk and cheese , and whey , and curds so white from these ▪ as t' wod the milkie way appear , shud god● look down and see us here , as we behold the galaxy , in looking upwards to the sky . and now if any curious are , to know why th' are more white and fair , then ever milk or curds were yet , that from their ladies hands they get ; so fair and white , we well may say , nothing 's more white and pure then they . character . of absence . to the lady — written at bruxelles in french. absence is the abscinthe or bitterness o● love , that weans us from the delightful pres●nce of those we love ; 't is the night and winter of amity : when our sun being set , or retir'd into another hemisphere , we are sad , and restlesly long for its return ; and if death be nothing else , but onely a separation of soul and body ▪ absence certainly wo'd be worse and more grievous then death it self ; since it separates the soul even from the soul , but that fortior quàm mors dilectio ; a● love ha's power over death , so time and place ha's no power over love. 't is the touch-stone and trial of our loves ; and when in presence of those we love , we are all eyes to look on them ; and in absence , all thought to think on them ▪ 'tis a sign our love is perfect and true indeed , ( as when ●he painter ha's no more need to look on the original , 't is a sign the picture is fully finished ) yet love is such 〈◊〉 ●ne , as without retouching it often on the original , the species and colours of it are apt to fade and vanish ; and though sometimes 't is necessary to be absent from those we love , ( that they may imagine they cannot live without us ) yet we are never to be so long away , a● to let them know they can indeed . however madam ▪ i shud be loath to put it to the trial , or to be put to the nece●●ity . character . of the same lady . never was curious beauty more wary of sun or winde , nor frugal bravery of contracting spot or stain , then she of the least breath of rumour , and preserving her fame and hono●r untainted and unblemished ▪ never doing any thing , without first examining , what will th● people say ? nor s●irring a foot ▪ without first carefully looking where she tr●ads ; by which wise care and cir●umspection of hers , she clearly shews , that hôwever rumour be apt enough to spea● ill , yet 't is but living well , and we need not care what it says ▪ and however foul and dirty the world i● ▪ yet we may walk clean enough , and but carefully pick out our way . this makes her so ad●ir'd and reveren●'d , as vertue 's self ( cu'd it be seen by mortall eyes ) cu'd not be more reverenc't nor admi●'d ▪ and this makes them propose her as a noble pattern for all her fairer sex to imitate ; who lives so , as no ermin can be purer , nor angel in mortal flesh live more spiritually then she , who of all women living ha's onely found out the way of stopping rumour 's mouth , and silencing calumny and detraction . character . du tour a la mode . c'est une assemble ou les dam●● sont pa●●é●●our le bal , & ou le● 〈…〉 dan●●nt un ballet . cest un 〈◊〉 ou 〈◊〉 esta●e que la meil●i●e marthandiz● , en reservant l● reste 〈◊〉 ●arriere bou●ique● ▪ cest un ieu de● carte● ou ●ou● 〈◊〉 valets sont os●a●te● ; ●est une 〈◊〉 ●ien beng●● , ou l●un ne ti●e que des coups ● o●●●lades , & ou les promiers a●ant fait leui desc●arge ilz s'en vont pour donner place au● autres . c'est un ciel qui a deux monue●●ens contrairs , ou il y a d●s esto●ll●s de routes grandeurs , & ou il y a des commettes entre le rest ▪ cest un triumphe ou les vaincus aussi bien que les vainqueurs vont en chariot . cest une medaille de la vanité du monde , & vicissitude des mondains , avec cet inscription , sic transit gloria mundi ▪ & sur ●e ●envers , chaque un en son tour . en fin c'est là ou l'on roule doucement dans le monde ▪ & 〈◊〉 on pouroit ●insi alle● en paradis , on ser●it aussi heureux qu' elie. the same in english ▪ the to●●r a la ●●ode is an assembly , where the ladies are drest for the ball , and the hor●es dance the ballet ; 't is a fair or market ▪ where they install all thei● best commodities , and keep the rest behinde in the ware-house : 't is a game at cards , where all the valets are discarded . 't is a well order'd battle , where they shoot nothing but glances ; and where the first rank discharging , give place to those who follow . 't is a heaven or firmament ▪ with two contrary motions , where there are stars of several magnitudes , and where there are some commets too : 't is a triumph , where the conquered as well as the conquerours ride in chariot : 't is a meddal of the vanity of the world , and vicissitude of worldly things ; with this inscription on t'one side , sic trans●t gloria mundi , and every one in his turn on t'other . in fine , 't is thêre where people ride pleasantly and easily in the world ; and if they could go to heaven sô , they would be as happy as elias . character . of a ladies little dog. he is native of bolonia , though of no great house thêre , and is his ladies favourite , and the envy of all her gallants , for his lying with her anights , and kissing her by day ; and they suspect him of frigidity , that he 's no more mov'd with it ; certainly he is so cold , the chimney-corner can scarce keep him warm , where he lies in his pannier , like diogenes in his tub ; and you would take him for a cynick , by his barking at every one . by his collar you would think him of some military order , ( as there are carpet knights enow , who wod willingly like him , be never out of ladies laps ) but that he ha's no fellow for littleness , all other dogs seeming mastives compar'd to him ; and he wo'd scarce pass for ône amongst the pignies , though in homers battle betwixt the frogs and mice , he might have serv'd for mounting the cavalry , if he had not been marr'd in the mannaging , hê ( what betwix● carrying in the arms at home , and coach abroad ) having legs more for ornament then use : whence he ha's much to answer for idleness , but for that he cares as little as others do , and others as little as he , so they may have like him , their heaven in this world ; and have a velvet cushion for couch , walk on turkey carpets like the grand signior , and be fed as daintily a● the infant● or king of spain , whilst he can't wag his tail for any thing ▪ but he ha's it presently . character . of a bold abusive wit. he talks madly , dash , dash● , without any fear at all , and cares not how he bespatters others or defiles himself● ; nor ceases he till h 'as run himself quite out of breath ; when no wonder if to fools he seems to get start of those who carefully pick out their way ▪ and are as fearful of abusing others as themselves : he ha's the buffoon's priviledge , to say or do any thing without exceptions ; and 〈◊〉 call a jealous man , cuckold ; a childe of doubtful birth , bastard ▪ and a lady of suspected honour , whore ; whilst they onely laugh at it ; and all schollars are pedants with him , and physicians quacks ; when the being angry at it , were the avowing it . in ladies chambers he is rude , and tumbles the bed , and towzes t●e● , drest up unto the height , to the hazzard of a bed-staff thrown at his head , or rap o'●e the fingers with the busk , ( and that is all . ) onely he is worse then the buffoon in this , that th●y study to delight , hê onely to offend ; thêy to make you merry , hê onely to make you mad ; giving that for reason of his incivility , because it troubles you ( forsooth ) which wod make any civil man cease troubling you : so he wear● his wit as bravo's do their swords ▪ onely to mischief and offend others , not as gentlemen , to defend themselves ; and 't is crime in him , what is ornament in them ; he being onely a wit at that , at which a good wit is onely a fool. and thus he continues , till he meets with some or other as cho●serick as he is abusive , when afeard of a beating , he goes away and sayes , they understand not iest , when indeed 't is rather he . character . of a modern casuist . he is your onely conscience-monger , and frames it wide or strait , as he lists himself ▪ he leaves no vsury , whilst he makes all vsur●rs ; and takes away the sins of the world , but makes more sinners then there were before . he has his several wards for several sins , as equivocation against lying , and secret recompensation against theft , so rectifying the conscience , as he can set it right agen at any time : he can make any thing good with a distinction , and marre it again with another ; especially , he has particular cases for princes , in confidence of which shud they offer to go to heaven , st. peter 't is thought wod hardly allow of thêm , ( as scholastical querks invented since his time . ) amongst the rest , he is so partial to his own countrey vices , as drunkennes with the dutch is almost no vice at all , nor fornication with the spaniard ; mean time the ignorance of what he writes makes people more vertuous then the reading it ; his writings being nothing else but a rapsody of all vices in general , whence , consequently by reading them particular person● must needs know more vices then they did before ; and for him himself , for all his nice distinctions , woe be to him , if when he comes to dye , he meets with some such ignorant devil as that lawyer did , who c'ud not make him understand him for his heart , but he wod needs carry him away to hell whether he would or no. character . of an anabaptist , or fifth-monarchy man. when in the lords prayer he sayes , thy kingdom come , he equivocates and means his own , looking upon magistrates bu● as usurpers of his right , he is a saint turn'd inside outwards , or all sanctity without , and non● within ; his congregation , however they boast the spirit , are all in querpo ▪ and they use no other cloak but onely hypocrisie ▪ 't is question whether he more hates th● church for ceremoni●s , or ceremonies for the church ; but for him he is more familiar with the lord , then to stand on ceremonies with him ; he tho●i●g him at every word ▪ and speaking with less reverence to him , then any clown does to hi● landlord ▪ he so hates a gentleman , as he can't endure god shud b● serv'd like one : mean time down go the churches , and whitehall shud follow too , might they but have their wills ; a barn ( like savages ) serving them instead both of church and palace , they counting any place good enough to preach in ; and any place indeed is good enough for their preaching , who teach nothing but sedition and infatuation ; and whilst others with their sermons people heaven , they with thêirs onely people bedlam and the common goal . he calls mirth prophaneness , melancholly godliness , obedience luke-warmness , and faction zeal , making as unchristian work with that , a● with baptizing their children ; and calls himself pure , lik● him , who over head and ears in dirt , boasted that he had never a spot on him ▪ so he thank● god with the pharisee , that he is not like o●her men , and in that he sayes true , for he is fa● worse then they . character . of a dutch frow ▪ made in holland . she is nea● and cleanly in her house , but not in he●self , and so frugal in the kitchin , that if there be any grease , kitchi●-stuff , or candles ends , 't is sure to go to pot ; there is no entring any of her other rooms , without first putting off your shooes , as if 't were holy ground ; and y 'ad better spit in her face then spit in 't , whilst you are there ; her tongs and fire-shovel , with all the res● of her chimney-implements , serve more for ornament then use ; and you may assoon ge● her to set fire on the house , as make a fire in any chimney besides the kitchin one ; for her own chimney , 't is under her coats in her lul●pot , with which she so bemackerels he● thighs , as you 'd take her for a maremaid , half fish , half flesh , by which unnatural heat she brings forth nothing but zooterkins : sh● never travels without her basket full of provan● , or half stivers worth of shrimps or nuts , with cracking and nibbling of which ( besides her tatling ) she entertains her self upon the way , and when she comes home , puts up every thing in a press , her band , and huke , and self too when she goes to bed . she housewives every thing so well , as not a se●m of her gloves , but she has dern'd over twe●ty times at least ; and she 's so great an enemy to superfluity ; as he● handkerchief wod scarce make a plaister for her nose . there goes alwayes some branch●-velvet , or tuff-taffity to the stomacher of he● holiday gown , and the silver chain , with all its appendi●es , muft on on sundayes , or she 'l go to the lumbard for it . in fine , she keeps the house or shop all day , and at night her husband and she drink lovingly together , till they are maudlin-drunk , and then they go to bed together , and s●eep like pigs . character . of a strange disposition . he is rather made of oak then willow , and will sooner break , then bow . he counts stooping baseness , and except thât civil respect which is due unto their place and titles , he cannot flatter or fawn on any man ; but like their mirours , the same countenance they shew him , he shew● them agen ▪ and excepting hi● prince , who can sovereignly dispose of his body ; and god , who can dispose of his soul and body both , he cares for offending no body , who ●hall first have offended him ; and none ever lookt so high on him , but he 'd get a persp●ctive , or he 'd look as high as they : this gets him many enemies , and hinders him from getting many friends ; for every one wod be comply'd with all , and he has not complacency for every one ; nor can he help it , for 't is his nature , and we can as easily change our outward form and features , as our inward ●ind and disposition , ( after by long accustoming 't is past into nature once ) and his friends like it well enough in him , as knowing , that of such wood your best friends are made ; nor was there ever flatterer of that disposition . character . of a stage-critick . he goes to playes onely to finde fault thêre , and if he findes none , he makes them , ( like your flesh-flyes , who not onely leave sound places , to light on sores , but are such venomous ones , as they even make sound places , ●ore , with their flye-blowing them . ) in the coffee-house he is of the peace and quorum , and gravely sitting on the bench thêre , ( like justice clack ) condemns first and examines afterwards ; but every where else , he i● out of commission , & as ridiculous as t'other is on the stage , ( they holding him for a iudge without iudgement , and author without authority . ) he is an heretick in poetry , ( or fanatick , which is worse ) and is quite fallen from the faith of his fore-fathers , who believ'd in the poets infallibility ; and so fletcher made the play , it was enough with them : but if fletcher were alive now , or any man living writ like him , he 's resolv'd to condemn him whosoe're he be , who praifes the dead onely to dispraise the living . mean time , he spends his ●udgement so fast on others , as he leaves none for himself at length , and having all his wit from playes , ●pends it all in censuring them ; so as 't is no longer ▪ judgement but madness in him , beyond the cure of bedlam or helibor . — but why do i trouble my self with describing him in prose , when 't is done already in verse , in answer to a certain lampoon ▪ made against ▪ playes and poets , entituled , a sessions of apollo . the answer . a sessions not of apollo but bacchus , was lately held in a coffee or sack-house , where all wod needs be poets dramatick ▪ though none understood nor the theory nor practick ▪ and these forsooth with their little or no wits , wod sit in iudgement of playes and of poets . is 't now enouf that playes on the stage have so long born the brunt of fanatical rage , whilst out of the pulpit , as out of the cannon , th●ave thunder'd such vollies of railings upon 'um ; but such as these in a tavern must sit , and arraign and condemn the playes and the wit ? how ti●es are chang'd ! in our fore-fathers dayes , onely those who had wit were iudges of playes ; but every one now is a censurer grown ▪ and who more forward then those who have none ? but to conclude with our grave tavern-benchers , compos'd of riotous gamesters and wenchers , of half-witted jeerers , and hectoring fighters , vnless they give over their censuring the writers , they 'l shortly repent it , when at their next sessions their names shall be told as well as professions ; and they so describ'd , as people shall say , when they see but their faces , behold these are they . character . of a complementer . he is a certain cringing thing , that stoops iust like a tumbler when he vaults through hoops ; or daw or magpye , when at fruit it pecks alternately their tails above their beeks . he is the rack of conversation , that sets every ones joynts a stretching , and had been banisht sparta ▪ infalliby , for adding so many superfluous words unto the dialect . he is a puritan in manners , as others are in religion , and troubles you more with his long preambles , then t'other with his long graces ; and in thîs is less conscionable then thêy , in using ceremonies too , to make it more troublesome . the french has a good etymology or derivation of his name , and ●ayes , that a complementer is but an acomply menteur , or an accomplisht lyar ; and they say trûe , for complementing is but a new way of lying , not directly , but by circumlocution ; and truth has alwayes been out of fashion , since ît came în . 't is a new language added to those of babel , and has brought a greater confusion into the world ; for those were invented for better explaining and declaring of the minde , but thîs for hiding and concealing it . 't is the court cypher , that is sometimes to be understood contra , or by contraries ; sometimes praeter , or besides , but never literally , and in the genuine sence . in fine , 't is the language of flattery , irony , or hypo●risie , wholly unknown to our honest ancestours , nor shall we be ever so honest as they were , till we have quite left it off . character . of a make-bate , or sower of dissention . she is a tatling gossip , and one of the devils day-labourers , that sowes his tares for him , or seed of dissention . she tells you this and this such an one said of you , when you may be sure , 't is either wholly false or never wholly true , ( she having either wholly invented it , or added so much to it , as makes it an a●rant lye. ) she goes a fishing for secrets , and tells you those of others , onely to hook yours out of you , baiting men as they do fishes , one with another still . she chuses the softest breasts , as easiest to be corrupted , and those ( like an insinuating worm ) she wriggles her self into , till she has quite corrupted them ; the oyl with which she supples them , is flattery ; and that which she chiefly flatters , is others vices ; for vertues , she shud be sorry that they had any , lest they shud be too vertuous for her company . in fine , they talk of serpents so venomous , as they infect and poyson with their very breaths ; but if ever any's breaths were venomous , 't is hers , ( who wod set man and wife at dissention the first day of their marriage , and childe and parents the last day of their lives ) nor will innocence ever be safe , or conversation innocent , till such as she be banisht humane society , ( the bane of all societies where they come ) and if i could afford them being any where , it shud be onely with ariosto's discord amongst mine enemies ; mean time 't shall be my prayer , god bless my friends from them . character . of a chamber-maid . a chamber-maid by a certain figure signifies no maid at all ; as homo pictus , or a painted man does no man. she differs from the waiting-gentlewoman , as single roses do from double ones , and is a maid of one coat onely , whilst t'other has many ; yet there is more provocation in her single petticoat and wastecoat , ( as coming nigher querpo ) then t'other has in all her gowns and petticoats . she is like a nettle , handle her gently , and she 's angry , but towze her soundly , and she takes it patiently ; onely she is coy and disdainful to the servingmen , telling them , she is for their betters ; and so she is indeed , for a gentleman may do any thing with her , in a civil way . above all , she is very serviceable to her master when her lady lies in , who takes order to marry her the sooner for it . in fine , if she be a right chamber-maid , and of the game indeed , say what you will , or do what you will unto her , she 'l be sure to be a maid still , till she be married : when , let her husband look if she be one or no , for others have often lookt and found her none . character . of troublesome kindness . when he meets you , he asks you with a great deal of joy , whether you be there or no ? and though you have never so much business , makes you stay . he shakes you by the hand , till h 'as shak't it out of joynt , and tells you twenty times , he 's glad to see you well ; and if he embrace you , and get you in the hug , y 'ad as good fall into the hands of a cornish wrestler . he is troublesome at table , with bidding you heartily welcome , and often drinking unto you , whilst he winks upon you without knowing wherefore himself , and carves you , and makes you eat whether you will or no. he asks you so often how you do ? as he makes you doubt whether you be well or no ; and when you are not indeed , he is more troublesome yet , with his how d'ye's ? and pray be well , &c. he ha's a receipt for every disease , and twenty at least for an ague , all one as good as another ; and so pesters you with them , as you would give as much to be rid of his visits , as y' are forc't to give the physician for his . in fine , he is so troublesome , as y' are forc't to put it in your letanies , to be deliver'd from him , and all will scarcely do . character . of your town-talkers . made anno . your town-talkers are a company in town , who make a trade of talking of every thing ; and they are such excellent embroiderers of lyes , as any ground will serve their turn , ( nay , most commonly they 'l do 't without any ground at all . ) they deal more by conjecture then almanack-makers ; and will venture the repute of liars twenty times , for thât of prophet once . they wish more for ill news , then ingrossers of corn do for dear years ; and are sorry with caligula , when no publick calamity happens in their times . they hunt with full cry , and run faster away with a rumour , then a pack of northern hounds with a full scent ; and their chiefest game is who , and who ! they make more marriages then iustices of peace ; and for weddings , ( now the arches are down ) they are the onely bawdy court. instead of the star-chamber they censure every one , and judging of others by themselves ; no wonder they judge ill of every thing . their talking is their disease , and they speak ill , because they know not to speak well . 't is the malignity of their nature , and we must have patience with it , as thêy must ; if making bold sometimes with us in the countrey , we this once make as bold with them in town . character . of a shrewd old catholick gentlewoman . she goes to confession , and leaves off all her old shrewishness to begin anew ; and when she ha's sufficiently thumb'd over her hours and rosary , thinks she ha's priviledge to be as shrewish as she was before . she chides others with the same zeal as she prayes ; and beats her breasts at mass , and maids afterwards with the same fervour and devotion . she thinks spiritual vices nothing , so long as she abstains from carnal ones ; and whilst she makes a mortal sin of eating flesh on fridayes , or eggs in lent , makes no scruple of rash judgement , and condemning others without a cause . her devotion in the chappel chiefly consists in saying over a great many prayers , and out of it , in making a caudle for the goodman , which he eats as devoutly , and prays for benefactors . in fine , she 's alwayes chiding , and would have every one perfecter then her self ; and looks so much to others faults , as sh 'as no leasure to look unto her own ; whence she turns away her maids so fast , as she scarcely knows her own family ; and you shall come twice into the house , but never twice into the same house agen . character . of a common acquaintance . he wearies out his bosome with embracing every one , and dirties his palm with shaking them by the hand . like a spanniel , he fawns upon every one he meets , and will needs know them whether they will or no. if they but look on him , he smiles on them ; and but smile on him , and the acquaintance straight is made . he picks acquaintance out of every face he ha's but seen once before , and calls every one he ha's but seen twice , a friend . after which follows kindred and affinity , he having more couzens then your common curtizans , or will summers had ; and they are much as near a kin as patch and he . mean time , he glories in the store of them , and thinks himself rich , never considering , that one findes enow of such acquaintances every day in che streets , whilst procul & de ultimis sinibus terrae , a friend is a cabinet-piece indeed , and one we should go to the end of the world to seek : betwixt whom and such common acquaintance there is as much difference , as betwixt diamonds and pebble stones : and he ought to be asham'd , that every ordinary carver shu'd be more choice of the wood he makes his statua's of , then he of the men whereof he makes his friends ; ône being too hard and knotty to work upon , t'other too light and spungy , and worth nothing when they are wrought . non ex omni ligno sit mercurio , one makes not friends out of every sort of wood. character . of one who falsely styles himself collonel not to be souldier he was made collonel at first , and to 'scape fighting , ha's continued so ever since ; whence he is a superlative without a positive ; or like a hovel , all roof , without foundation . he drunk formerly when he shu'd be fighting , and now talks onely of fighting in his drink , whence his sword can so little boast of its blood , as all its gentility lies in the hilt and belt ; and it derives its honour more from the scabbard then the blade . to avoid fighting , he brags how often he ha's fought , and how many he ha's kill'd ▪ and some believe him , because they cu'd never see any he had fought withall alive : but others say , that of all men living they wo'd chuse to be kill'd by him , for so they shu'd be sure to be still alive . yet he 'l quarrel , or wrangle with you , ( which is half quarrelling at least ) and let him alone , and he 'l threaten to fight w' ye too ; such as he being of the nature of nettle● , handle them gently , and they prick you ; but roughly , and you break the point● of them . after which ( as before ) he was the fools valiant man , so he becomes the valiant mans fool ▪ and every one laughs at him , when he goes away offended , saying , he cares no more for others , then they for him : and if so , he is the happiest man alive ; for i know none lives freer from care then he . character . of the patrons lives . to the lord — anno . my noble lord , if you wo'd know both how to ●ive , and live well too , but onely your a●●ention give , i●le tell you how ●he patrons live . first of all , they never ●are nor for clock nor calendar ; next they ne're desire to know ho● affairs o' th' world do go : above all , they ne're resort to the busie hall nor court ; where poor men do nothing else , but trouble others and themselves : all the business they look after . onely is their sport and laughter , with a friend and chearful cup merrily to dine and sup● ; hear good musick , s●e a play , thus they pass the time away : doing no harm to a●y man , rather all the good they can . so 'twixt saint a●d sinner here . equally their course they steer , till thi● voyage over-past , they arriv● to th' po●t at last ; where those after death arrive , who so ●armless were alive : and i ●hink , as th' world now goes . th'a●e not worst of livers those . if you like the living thus , come , my lord , and live with us . character . of a miserable old gentlewoman . her word is , pitty any thing shu'd be lost ; but others say , pitty any thing shu'd be sav'd as she saves it ; for she hoards up candles ends , and scrapes up grease , being so rich in kitchin-stuff , as her very cloathes are nothing else , excepting her old brancht velvet gown , ( as thin as a groat , with the figures all worn out ) which she keeps onely for sundayes and holydayes ; never wondring that the jews cu'd wear their clothes forty years together in the desart , since she ha's worn her petticoat as long ; and her stomacher is a piece of venerable antiquity , deriv'd from the velvet of queen maries gown . for her prayer-book , it was a relique of her grandmothers , till first grown greazy , and after falling into the dripping-pan , the dog and cat fell out about it , and eat it up , since when she prayes without book , with a god help you when they ask her any thing , for which the beggars curse her , but the sneezers thank her , ( as expecting nothing else of her . ) you enter her house with no less honour , then you would one the witches kept their sabot in ; for she fits like one in the chimney-corner , purring like a melancholly cat , and mumping like an old ape . when she wo'd shew you good countenance , and when she'd regal you indeed , she sends up for a bottle of sack , ( as everlasting as the widows cruse of oyl ) that ha's serv'd this twelve-moneth all strangers that come to house ; with a box of marmalade so old and dry , as the flyes have quite given it over , in despair of extracting any more sweetness out of it : which together with her other niggardliness and sordidness makes me forswear the house , with resolution never to come there agen . character . of an excellent companion . he is the life and spirit of the company , and sparkling liquor , whilst others are but dregs and lees . he is never dry nor pumping , but alw●yes full and flowing ; every thing affording him matter of merriment ; and for a need he can extract it out of nothing too . he differs from the buffoon , as an excellent comedy does from the farse ; and is all wit , t'other onely ▪ foolery . he is neither scurrulous nor prophane , but a good man as well as a good companion ; and so far a good fellow , to take a chearful cup or two , ( for wine 's a good whetter of a fine edg'd wit , so with too much they whet it not quite away ) and though to men of business he seems to confer but little to the seriouser part of life ; yet he whets the knife of the serious man , and makes them more apt for business afterwards , ( as musick makes them apter for devotion ) and those who are displeas'd with his mirth , are just like saul displeas'd with davids musick , possest with ●ome melancholly devil , or other , which onely such as he can cast out ; for which they send for him farther , then they did for dr. butler , and every one loves and cherishes him , he being the darling of all the nobler sort , the favourite of kings , and companion for any prince . character . of one who zany's the good companion . he is a wit of an under region , like iack pudding , grosly imitating on the lower rope what t'other does neatly on the higher , onely for the laughter of the vulgar sort , whilst the better and wiser can scarcely smile at him . he is a buffoon , not a wit , and in a tavern is onely ●n hi● element , ( the bedlam of wits , where men are rather mad then merry , and where there 's onely noise instead of mirth ▪ ) he ha's nothing but old ●tories to make you laugh , ( long since laught thred-●ate ) or some stale jeast or other , ( broken twenty times before ) at which if you laugh not , you put him out of countenance , and marre the faces , which onely were his own before . in fine , he is onely a wit at the second hand , or a frippery of it , just as long lane is , compar'd unto cheapside , and rather a channel of other wits , then a fountain of his own ; his w●t being rather the hogsheads then his own heads ; savouring more of heidelberge then helicon , and he rather a drunken then a good companion . character . of one who imitates the good companion another way . made in the . he is one , who now the stage is down , acts the paras●tes part at table , and since taylors death none can play mosca so well as he . he is all for those who have best wine and fare , even to be of the same religion with them too ; and though he be specially devoted to the patron , he praises the cook , shakes the butler by the hand , and is familiar with all the rest of the servingmen ; calling one father , another son , as they are of age or office in the house . his mimick gesture , together with his buffoon faces , is all his mirth , excepting an old story or two , which you grow weary of presently , and then he must change his bank , or change his style , and fall to plain flattery , ( which is his chiefest ●alent ) with which he infects persons , and marrs those who are taken with him ; as plutarch well observes those do , who fish with sophistical baits , which catch fish sooner , ( 't is true saith he ) but renders them nothing worth when they are caught . character . of a grave formal sir. he declaims when he speaks like a grammar schoolmaster , and keeps his gravity even in spitting , whilst it serves him for distinguishing his periods . he walks like a piece of dutch clock-work mov'd with wiers , and looks like an image carried in procession . he thinks them all ignorant , who admire not all he sayes and does ; and the age declining towards barbarisme amain , that they do not i●itate all his words and actions . he holds the onely observation of him a sufficient breeding for young gentlemen , far beyond the court and univ●rsi●y ▪ and when they hav● but travel'd over his good parts once , they need ( not travel farther to fra●●● nor i●aly . he inveighs against the vanity of the time with greater vanity ▪ and shews when he ha's the commodity of anothers purse , how vain he wo●d be , had he the commodity of his own . he complains of fortune , that like water she bears up light things , and lets the more mighty sink , ( meaning himself with all his gravity ) and is malecontent , that he is not rewarded according to his deserts ; when 〈…〉 d●serts , he onely deserves to be laught at , and that is all . in fine , he 's a compound of a formal pedant , an affected traveller , and plautu● miles gloriosus altogether ; though he thinks himself tans marte quam mercurio without compare , whilst i can finde nothing to admire in him , but onely that he can admire himself so much . character . of an all-admirable person . all that is sweet and ravishing is in her looks , with a chearfulness 't is joy to behold , and a perpetual sun-shine , without any clouds at all , joyn'd with so much noble vertue , and attractive sweetness , as she draws youto a certain distance from her , and there suspends you betwixt love & reverence , none ever daring to approach her nigher , nor having power to go farther off : so as that beauty which in 〈◊〉 dayes of ethnicisine , had excited to idolatry , now excites onely to devotion ; sufficient to fill the place where she is with votive tables , and to work miracles , whilst she 's the greatest miracle her self ; and so all surprizing , as a disease but half so taking as her eyes , wo'd be epidemical , and depopulate all the world . then she 's so courteous and obliging , as the sun and air are not more diffusively good then she ; and her speech and behaviour so gentle and affable , as you may talk of magick , but there 's none charms but she . in a word , her gentleness is so great , as 't is enough to tame the fiercest lions , and civilize the most barbarous savages ; and if there be any fierceness or savageness in the world , 't is onely where she is not , and because she can't be every where . in fine , her beauty , vertue , and obligingness is so great , as heaven seems to have made her as she is , onely to make beauty more vertuous , and vertue more beautiful , by ●oyning them together with so much sweetness and gentleness . character . of a suspicious person . she torments her self and others , by putting every thing on the rack of doubt , and wresting all unto suspicion ; mean time she makes them rather confess what she 'd have them , then what is true indeed . as all things seem yellow to those infected with the iaundies , so all things seem of the colour of her suspicions . she affixes an ill sense still unto your words , and an ill meaning to all your actions , and like french poast horses , goes on with her suspicions , who when they stumble once , never leave till they be down . like snow-balls ; she revolves slight offences in her minde , till sh' as made mighty injuries of them at last , and her surmizes are alwayes wiser then the truth , when both for her own sake and theirs , her friends could wish they were but as wise at least . she explicates others words and actions , as hereticks do scripture , in the dark and mystick sense , when the literal is obvious and clear enough ; and there 's as little hopes of converting t'one as t'other from their erroneous opinions . so whilst her minde is just like the winters sun , that exhales more vapours then it can dissipate agen ; she both loses her self in the mists she makes , and loses her friends , by mistaking them for her enemies . character . of a talkative lady . there is no coming into her company , under pain of a dayes head-ache , and a ringing in the ears a fortnight after ; and whosoever hears her , wishes that either she were dumb , or they were deaf . to hear her talk , you would wonder at her matter , and at her talk when you heard her matter ; but considering both together , you would admire at neither , but onely exclaim with him who plum'd the nightingale , vox est , & praeterea nihil , she is a voice , and nothing else ; for 't is onely a noise she makes , and the labour not of her brain but tongue , and you would wonder how that holds out so long , but for thât it moves with as great facility , as leafs shaken with the winde , ( give it but breath enough , and it will ne're lye still ) or rather indeed as atomes move ●'th ' air ; for it is quite unhung , and depends neither on nerve nor imagination . there being as much difference betwixt a voluble tongue and hers , as betwixt an excellent vaulter , who artfully moves him●elf , and one who precipitates himself without any art at all . all the wonder is , how she makes so different ends hold together , whilst ●he speaks onely thrums , ( much like the composition of a taylors cushion , all of shreads ) but for that she cares not , all her care is for ●ome body to hear her talk , ( which shortly she must be forc't to hire , ( fôr 't is too great a pain to do gratis ) mean time a machin with so constant a motion as her tongue , would be far better then a murmuring fountain to make one sleep ; and sh● wants onely the faculty of talking in her sleep her self , to make the perpetual motion with her clack . character . of a taciturne person . he is the contrary extremity , and knows as little to speak , as t'other to hold his peace . friar bacons head was a talkative one to his , and there is nothing so dull and phlegmatick , as his discourse . you might have patience to tend a still as well , that drops but once a quarter , and the counting a dutch clock and his words , were an exercise much alike . the wheels of his tongue like those of a rusty jack , must be perpetually oyl'd , or else th' are at a stand ; and he is just like pharatius picture , all curtain , and whosoever thinks there is ought under it , like zeuxes are deceiv'd . yet such vailed shrines as he , in cloysters are counted very oracles , where ●ilence is in precept and veneration , and where their wisedom is the folly of the world ; and be they their wise men , they shall be my fools still , who admire none for being alwayes silent , nor more admire their silence , then that of a tree or plant ; who shall ne're count impotency perfection , but rather when the power of speaking never proceeds to act , shall suspect there 's somewhat in it more then want of will. onely for this once , ( since they will needs have it so ) i will believe there is somewhat in him , 'cause i co'd never yet see any thing come out of him . character . of a table-disputant . disputation is onely for the school , and who disputes too much out of it , shu'd be sent to school agen . of all places , 't is least proper for the table , where their discourse shu'd be like their fare , easie and of light digestion , and not too hard nor difficult . such love to hear themselves talk , and if they would hear more , and talk less , they wo'd be wiser then they are . the contrary extremity to these are your too easie assenters to all you say , who let discourse fall too soon , as t'other holds it up too long . the mean betwixt both , is to continue discourse with a handsome reparty or two , and never to pass beyond the third reply . mean time , the wise avoid disputing with them , as they do quarrelling with hectors , ( there being no repu●ation to be got by either ) and 't is with disputing just as 't is with quarrelling , where some are so foolish to draw quarrels upon themselves , others so wise to avoid them , which those best may do , without any loss of reputation , who have sufficiently declar'd on other occasions , that 't is rather discretion then weakness in them , and want of will then ability , that they avoid them now . for my part , of all surfeits , i hold that of talking the worst , and conclude with balzac , that whosoever thinks with a long-winded discourse , or raising his voice a tone or two higher then mine , to carry it , he shall have his opinion and mine too , rather then i le contend with him . character . of a flaunders devote . made at antwerp . she is so pure and nice , as when she comes but where men are , she takes the winde of them , for fear of being got with childe , ( as spanish gynnets are ) and brushes her self when she goes away agen , for fear of a spice of fornication , ever since she understood that man is but made of dust . she wears her eyes like spectacles on her nose , and looks as soberly and demurely as cows in bongraces . she dares not scratch , ( though it itch never so furious ) for fear of transgressing the rules of modesty ; and a fly is as safe on her nose , or a flea in her bosome , as a thief in sanctuary . she defies the world with all its vanities , and for the devil , knows all his tricks so well , as that devil must rise betimes that couzens her . as for the flesh , she not onely mortifies it in her self , but in her hotch-pot too , giving it such an allay of carrots and turnips , as there 's no danger of its insurrection . she holds her confessor , and the patron of his order for the greatest saints ; and salutes all the rest , even to the dog of the house , with a beati qui habitant . by the colour of her petti-coat you may easily perceive what order she 's addicted to ; and as your maremaids are half fish , half flesh , so she 's religious below the girdle , and secular above . of her faith there is no doubt , and for her good works , you may have a pattern of them when you please , for she is commonly the best bone-lace-maker in all the parish , though her principal trade be making of scruples ; of which she makes more in a day , then her confessors can undo in ten ; for which , though i wo'd not be hîm , yet i co●d wish my soul with hers at any time , but onely on ladies eves , and other particular dayes of devotion , when she fasts and prayes , and disciplines most intollerably . character . of a green-sickness girle . she is like a mouse in a holland cheese , her house and diet all the same ; whence the more she spends in it , the worse house she keeps ; the walls being her constant diet , of which she eats so long , till she fulfill the old proverb at last , the weakest goes to the walls ; for which shu'd they accuse her of burglary , she has this commodity that she could never be starv'd in prison : nay , whilst some eat themselves into prison , she by the estridges help might eat her self out agen . she is a great benefactrix to masons , who where they finde her , are sure to finde work enouf : and she ha's a great devotion to the church walls too , where she might sooner eat 〈◊〉 the ten commandments , by breaking her fast , then break the commandments of the church by eating . no nunnery wo'd hold her , but she●d break . inclosure presently , though for the rest she 'd pass them all for strictness of diet ; and though she eat white meat , wo●d put down the ●innums and carthusians . by her complexion 〈◊〉 seems rather made of marble or c●alk , 〈◊〉 that red earth adam was made of ▪ and though she be so meagre a soyle , ▪ as she grows never the fatter by it , yet one knows not what a good husband-man may do , which they say she wants extreamly : but fe● wo'd take a wife with so much ●ll housewifery , a● if she holds on as she begins , she wo'd soon eat her husband out of house and home ; onely a mille● might venture on her with all faults , she being much of his complexion ; and for her diet ▪ the eating of meal wo'd be at others charges ▪ and the walls of his winde●ill are not compriz'd in her bill of fare . character . of liberty . ▪ f●ee as i was 〈◊〉 i●le li●● , so shu'd every wi●e m●n do ▪ on●ly ●ools they 〈◊〉 , who give 〈◊〉 freedo●●● 〈◊〉 i ●now not who . . if my weak●ess can●ot saye it , b●t t' must ●o , ( ●ha● e're it cost ) 〈◊〉 mor● str●●●● the● i shall have it , can make goo● what i have los● . . s●ill fome e●c●llen●y shu'd be more i'●h ' master then the slave ; whi●h in ●ther's till i s●e , none ●y liberty shall have . . nor i●'t exc'llency enouf , time or chance can marre or make ▪ but t' must be more lasting stuff , shall from me my freedom take . . i for fortune nothing ●are , bea●t●e's 〈◊〉 a glittering 〈◊〉 , wh● without so g●●rio●● are , ●ave no m●re th●● i within . ● . those to who●● 〈…〉 away , that w●i●h non● 〈…〉 , shall ●e made of b●tter clay , ●nd have 〈◊〉 soul● th●n 〈◊〉 character . of a very widdow . she shoots off husbands as fast as boyes do pellets out of pot-guns , and one discharg'd , all her care is to charge agen . she is as curious of her mourning dress , as if she rather courted a nêw husband , then mourned for the ôld ; and her glass and woman have more ado with putting on her veil and peak ▪ then formely ( in the dayes of revelling ) with putting on her masking cloathes . before company she makes lament●ble moan , and squeezes out a tear or two ; but when she 's alone with her woman , she laughs at it , and all their discourse is , who is the properest man ? and who would make the best husband , &c. she counts her self widdowed , not for her bosome , but her bed , ( wisely making difference betwixt a husband and a friend ) and procures to have that warm still , when her husband is scarcely cold ; whom she so soon forgets , as she never makes mention of any former husband , but onely as a spur to the latter , with god be with him , he wo'd have done thus and thus ; and if he do not so too , is as ready to bid god be with him . in fine , she onely marries for a good dowery , and when she ha's that , she cares not how soon she is rid of you ; so as were i to marry her , one of the conditions of the marriage shu'd be , that she shu'd be a widdow no more , or beshrew me i 'de none of her . character . of a mendicant irish priest. made at antwerp . he goes over seas in trouses ; and there turns beggar before he turns student ; and learns the art of craving before any other art : by which he brings all the town where he lives into contribution for his maintenance , one giving him victuals , another cloathes , even to the devout honest cobler , who gives him the mending of his brougs or shooe● . if they be many of them , they beg some old house or other , ( which they call a colledge ) and there live together like so many beggars in a barn ▪ and to stir up the peoples charity and compassion towards them , they tell them lamentable stories of ireland , and st. patricks purgatory , ( which they believe the sooner , because they look like so many poor souls come out of it themselves . ) having thus provided for his other necessities , he begs his learning , and having got a few scraps of latine together , is made priest ; when li●e a ragged colt , he changes his coat for a cassock , so old and thread-bare , as t' ha●● neither lining nor outside , and you wo'd doubt where ever t' were new or no. then by recommendation to some under sacristan , he gets to say dirges , by which and the candles ends , he picks up a pretty living , and is as sure as the beggars of the parish to be at every dole and funeral . after this , if he get a chappel of some twenty nobles a year , or to be under pater to some monastery of nuns , he thinks himself a bishop and very patriarch ; and if he chance to come to any higher promotion , he is so glorious , as all this is forgot , and in short time himself too . character . of an irresolu●e person . made anno . he hovers in his choice just like an empty ballance without any weight of judgement to incline him to either scale . every ●hing he thinks on , is matter of deliberation ▪ an● he does nothing read●ly , but what he thinks not on ; so as discourse , that helps others out of labyrin●●s , is a labyrinth to him ; and he of all creatures living wo'd be far wiser , if he had none at all . he begins nothing without consideration , and when he begins to consider once , never makes an end . he ha's some dull daemon in him cryes do not , do not still , when he is going to do anything , which he obeys as a divine revelation ; and he playes at shall i , shall i so long , till opportunity of doing it be past ; and then ( as he committed the faul● ) he repents at leasure . he still mislikes the present choice of things , as scoggin did the tree he was to be hang'd on , and is enemy to resolution ; or rather , as resolution were enemy to him , he is afeard of it , as often as he comes ●nto it . he could never bet at cocking no● horse race yet , because the battle or race was alwayes done before he cu'd resolve which side to take ; and he is onely happy in this , that his irresolution hitherto ha's hindred him from marrying and entring into bonds . and 't is not the least part of his happiness , to be so long in chusing his religion , ( if he be yet to chuse ) amongst so many sects as we have now adayes , though 't is suppos'd he is a quaker , by his wavering disposition ; and if he ●e , the next news you hear from him will be from b●dlam . character . of a changeable disposition . her life is a perpetual contradiction , she would and she would not , and make ready the coach , yet let it alone too drive to such a place , yet do not n●ither , is her ordinary dialect . she differs from the irresolute , in that they are alwayes beginning , and she never makes an end ; and she writes and blots out again , whilst he 's deliberating what to write . one being endless à parte ante , t'other à parte post ; one being a resty , t'other a restless pain . so you can tell what to make of t'ones negative and how two negatives make an affirmative ; but of her yea and nay together you know not what to make , but onely that she knows not what to make of it her self . her thoughts and imaginations differ from others , as grotesque figures do from natural ; and from grotesque , in that these have some design in them , but thêy have none ; for she 'l call in all haste for one , and have nothing to say to them when they come ; and long and dye for somewhat , which when she ha's , she instantly throws away , never looking towards the end , but onely the beginning of things , nor standing still in her choice , but whirling perpetually about ; so as those who are of one minde to day , and another to morrow , are constant , compar'd to her , and saturns revolution , compar'd unto the moons . for you know not where to have her a moment ; and whosoever would hit her thoughts , must shoot flying and flye themselves , whosoever would follow them . character . of a petty politick . if you would deceive him , tell him truth , and believe what he sayes , if you would deceive your self . he goes ever vizzarded , and you can never know his true face , but may alwayes know 't is false . he cares 〈◊〉 in whose light ▪ he stands , so he may see , nor whose e●i●ice he ruines , so he may build his own ▪ so as they look on him not as a man , but as some ravenous beast , homo homini lup●● , that does all the harm and mischief he can to others ; by which he ha's got so ill a name ▪ as he is half hang'd already , and no body ( that knows him ) but wishes him wholly sô : and this fine reputation he ha's got by his petty pol●●y , that is nothing else but wisedom distempered into cra●t , far worse then lying , ●or that makes onely the tongue false , but thîs the heart too ; and ha's a far worse effect , for that makes them not believe his words , but thîs , that they will not believe his deeds ; so as shu'd they see him do the best action in the world , they wo'd imagine he did it with some ill intent , and out of petty policy , which is nothing else but treachery in fight , per●id●ousness in friendship , couzenage in gaming , and deceit in bargaining ; and whosoever uses it , in plain english is a knave , though the qualifying term be a politician . character . of a good honest catholick he is that ve●us israelita , or true israelite , in whom there is no deceit ; and you may as safely take his word , as anothers bond or oath ; he had rather suffer then do wrong at any time ; and is so scrupulous , as he may oft deceive himself , but never you . he does as he sayes , and sayes as he thinks , and means well and hone●t●y in every thing ; and to see his innocency and honest simplicity , you 'd think the golden age were return'd again . he counts conversation b●●wixt man and man , his second religion ▪ and for his first , betwixt god and himself , you 'd take him for one of the primitive christians ; and the primitive church were again reviv'd in him , where the name of dishonesty was wholly unheard of amongst them ; and the thing it self amongst the idea's of things unknown ▪ a vertuè as rare as the phenix now adayes ; when amongst such variety of sects , there are far more saints then honest men ; when amongst the boast of christian vertues , they have forgotten all moral ones ; and when for pure scarcity of honesty , he 's counted an honest man , who is not altogether a knave . character . of a degenerate nobleman . made anno . he is a certain silly thing , who now he ha's no voice in parliament , scarcely knows what to say . he ha's made the name of lord onely a mock-name , more ridiculous then the name of lord of misrule in ancient times ; and they shun him , as they do lord have mercy upon us , upon doors : and this plague he has brought upon himself , by foolishly imagining he shu'd be any thing , when those were nothing who made him all he is . as if the stars shu'd conspire to deprive the sun of light , or streams to dry up the fountain whence they flow'd : when no wonder if every glow-worm or farthing candle out-shines them now ; or that their greatness shu'd be at so low an ebb , as every one boldly strides over them , who durst not a●proach so nigh as their brinks before . so they just●e him now in the streets , who was wont before like manderins , to make whole streets to give him way ▪ and no body takes notice of him , unless some one in scorn points at him ( perhaps ) and sayes , there goes a lord ▪ and this is all the priviledge of peerage they have now ; besides the having every base fellow without commission to search their house , every tradesman cite them before their worships at next shire-towns , and every common serjeant drag them away to prison , where ●hey lye in the dungeon or common goal : and this fine prerogative they have got , who would needs pluck down the king , onely to be promoted to the kings bench themselves . character . of one that is truly noble . made at antwerp , anno . he is a nobleman indeed , t'other onely in name and title ; and his titles become him , and seem onely made for him , whilst t'other appears in them like dwarf● in g●an●● cloathing . he blazons his arms by v●rtues , not by colours ; and his pedigree ▪ which is boast with t'other , is onely chron●cle to him ▪ he does praise wort●y things himself , well knowing the p●aise of his ancestors are none of his ; and suffers them to get the start of him in nothing but priority of time. mean while he holds courtesie so man● a part of nobility , as he imagines that nobleman does ●ut disguise himself , and puts on peasants cloathing , who is discourteous . above all , he holds loyalty so essential to nobility , as he imagines he who is disloyal once , not onely degrades himself , but all his posterity of their nobility . of his liberality . i say nothing , but onely imagine how liberal he wo'd be i● he had it nôw , when no worthy person co'd want it whilst he had any thing . to conclude , his minde is erect , what ever his fortunes be ; and the poverty of the time can no wayes deject him , who like an ancient ruine , stands great whilst he stands , and wo'd fall great , however low he fell . character . of an uncertain nature . she is the anomula of her sex , not to be compriz'd in any general rule , nor can any particular one be given of her . she is a sea without a north-star , and so full of shift●ng sands , as there is no sailing by compass with ●er , nor venturing with●ut the plummet st●●l in hand ; and you may spell hebre● backwa●d● and decipher th● hardest characters , b●t there is no spell●●g nor de●iphering h●r . one benefit she ha's by it , that flattery can nev●● sinde her out ▪ for now she likes a thing , and presently dislikes i● ; now she 's of one opinion , and presently of another ; so as you may go twice into her company , and not twice into the same company ; and when she is in good or bad humour , you must go to a cunning woman to know , for she 's not cunning woman enouf to know her self . in fine , she is a very chamelion or proteus in disposition , changing fashions of minde ofner then the french does fashions o' th' body ; and did she change but shapes as often , there 's none would know her : and the reason of all is ( perhaps ) because she does not know her self . character . of a dull countrey gentleman . he comes up to town to get a wife , and when he is there he knowes not what to ●ay , for he is the mute of the company where he comes , and onely playes a part in the dumb show . or if he say any thing , he labours for it like a pump , and presently his spirits sink down agen and leave him dry . he sits nodding in company like a sleepy person over-watcht ; and rowse him with a question , and he stares on you just like one newly wake● out of sleep . he looks with his mouth , and thinks you would sell him a bargain when you ask him any thing , ( and 't is impossible to ask him any thing he understands ) yet when he is alone , he and his man iohn have many a dry discourse about wiving ; and his man give● him as many cautions about good husbandry , which he is apt to follow , being so miserable , as he grudges at coach-hire , trembles at the name of hide park , mulberry garden , and the new exchange ; and never bestows any thing on his mistris above a bottle of ale , or pound of cherries when they are at cheapest : so that unless he be rich , it may be long enough before he get a wife ; and if he bê , a hundred to one but some wife or other gets him , and afterwards make an ass , if not an oxe of him . character . of a school-boy . his parents may well say of him , as another did of their son , that they had pray'd sor a boy so long , as they fear'd he woul● prove one all his life ; to which much confers their breeding in grammer-schools , where they learn nothing but lying and loytering , and converse so much with boyes , as they are quite marr'd for ever becoming men. he ha's nothing so ready as his hat at his fingers ends , which he twirles about in mighty agony , when he is out of his lesson , and knows not what to say ; and ask him any question , and he looks about , as if he were seeking for an answer ; and when he answers you , scrapes such another leg , as iack of the clock-house , when he goes about to strike . he speaks in the tone he repeats his lesson in , so fast as if his tongue were running away with it ; and so loud , as if all the company were deaf ; and out of his lesson knows not what to say . of his manners i say nothing , for he ha's none at all ; nor is there any hope he will ever learn ; whose head is so doaz'd with knocking , and breech hardened with whipping , as he ha's neither fear nor wit. so as had i a son whom i lov'd indeed , i 'de rather send him to parish-garden , to learn such tricks as the ape does there , rather then such tricks as they learn at school . i mean not by thîs now your publick grammer schools , those fountains of learning , whose clear streams flow into the vniversities , but those dirty puddles , where children are rather defil'd then imbued with learning ; whilst they learn nothing but to read scripture , and then misinterpret it ; from which foul sink so many fanaticks , like so many ta●poles : have entred into the world . character . of your fanatick reformers . they complain of the old reformation , that they pluckt not down churches and cathedrals , as well as abbies , and think they were not zealous enough , to leave so many cross-styles to stumble the brethren , and cross-wayes , to make them erre and stray from righteousness ; and for the signs in the city , cry out against them , as the abomination of abominations , to see so many popes-heads , so many triple-crowns , bishops miters , and cardinals caps , with friars and nuns , beads , agnus dei's , and the like , which makes london look like a very babylon : whereas had they their will ▪ a bird shu'd not flye in the air with its wings across , a ship with its cross-yard sail upon the sea , nor prophane taylor sit cross-legg'd on his shop-board , or have cross-bottom to winde his thread upon . as for the signs , they have pretty well begun their reformation already , changing the sign of the salutation of the angel and our lady , into the souldier and ci●izen , and the katherine wheel into the cat and wheel ; so as there onely wants their making the dragon to kill st. george , and the devil to tweak st. dunstan by the nose , to make the reformation compleat . such ridiculous work they make of their reformation , and so zealous they are against all mirth and iollity ▪ as they would pluck down the sign of the cat and fiddle too , if it durst but play so loud as they might hear it . character . of a french dancing-master in london . a french dancing-master or baladin , thinks himself a very paladin of france , when h'a● left off being vsher , and is a master once . he ha's the regimin of the ladies legs , and is the sole pedagogue of their feet , teaching them the french language , as well as the french pace , as coupez , passez , levez &c. , ( which they understand as perfectly as english ) he fetches them up in their courant with a hei courage ! as a carter does his horses with a whip ; and makes as many antick gestures the while , as a bowler does when his bowl 's a trundling . he makes a pilgrimage every year to paris to learn new dances , and distributes at his return his branles , gavots and sarabands amongst his schollars , as pilgrims do the relicks of the shrine where they have been ; speaking as reverently of monsieur provost the while , as thêy do of the saint whose shrine they have visited . there was a long contention betwixt the french taylor and him , in point of gentility , till by montague's means the french dancing-master carry'd it . in fine , he lives a merry life and a long ; for his dancing-days are never done , whilst he makes all dance after his fiddle , and he is a brave fellow all the year ; but on a ball or grand ballet night without compare . character . of a school of young gentlewomen . to shew how far they are remov'd from court-breeding , their schools most commonly are erected in some countrey village nigh the town , where to save charges , they have the worst masters as can be got for love or money , learning to quaver instead of singing , hop instead of dancing , and rumble the virginals , scratch the lute , and rake the g●itar , instead of playing neatly and handsomely . as for their languages , a mag pie in a moneth would learn to chatter more then they do in a year . and for their behaviour , it is nothing else but a low courtzie , with a bridling cast of their chin to fetch it up agen . and lastly , for their work , ( in which they chiefly glory ) there are frequent examplars of it , how some one or other makes such work with them , as the stitches of it can never be pickt out agen without the midwives help . mean time i will not say their reverend mistris is a bawd , ( who thinks her self another deborah for government ) but certainly she is little less , to give admittance to such vermin into their burroughs , ( under the name of couzens ) who when their heads are in once , all their body naturally follows ; no sweet-meat nor comfit-makers shop being more haunted in hot weather with wasps and flies , then these schools be , with all the wilde gallants about the town . character . of a lady of excellent conversation . you would imagine all the muses and graces were in her when she speaks ; her conversation both for words , matter , and manner of delivery , is so charming , pleasant , and delightful , even to the tone and accent of her voice , which is so sweet and harmonious , as 't is more musick to hear her speak , then others sing . discourse , which is a tyranny with others , is a commonwealth with her , ( where every ones opinions are free ) and she is so easie company , as 't is pleasure to be in it , whilst ( like uneasie garments ) you are not in others without pain . she never contradicts any , but onely blushes when they speak impertinently , ( a greater reprehension ( to those who understand blushes ) then can be exprest in words ) and ha's too much reason to use pa●sion , ( the arms of falshood ) to defend the truth ▪ but having deliver'd her opinion , if yôu yield not , shê does , rather then contend with you , and leaves you the shame of the victory , when with more honour you might have been overcome . she does not rashly take up argument , nor abruptly lay it down agen , but handsomely assumes it , delightful continues it , and like an air in musick , just comes unto the close , when the ear expects it . in fine , her conversation is ●ar more chearful then theirs , who laugh more , and smile less ; true joy being a chearful thing , and as far different from light and giggling mirth , as elemental fire from squibs and cracker ; so as promethian-like , she inspires all who converse with her with noble flame and spirit ; it being virtue to know her , wisdom to converse with her , refinest breeding to observe her , and a species of the joy and happiness of t'other life , to enjoy the happiness of her conversation in this . character . of a young enamourist having left the school , and school-boyes toyes , next toy he gets is a mistris , whom he courts with legs and faces , out of ovid , or some of your modern poets ▪ and he talks of phoebus and cupid , and of so many gods and goddesses , as you 'd take him for some pagan never converted to christianity . he sighs like a dry pump , or broken winded bellows ; and to hear him , you●d never wonder at lapland witches selling winde so cheap . there is nothing so cold , as to hear him talk of flames ▪ nor so dull , as to hear him talk of cupids darts ; and you 'd forswear love , to hear but how he makes it . mean time , his mistris lets him know , that 't is in love as 't is in war , which declar'd once , y' are to expect nothing but hostility ; and knows 't is with lovers , as 't is with anglers , who feed fishes till they are caught ; but caught once , feed on them ; so 't is long e're she bite at the bait , unless he be rich , and then she nibbles a little to draw him on , else she jears him to death , as they rhyme rats in ireland , and he dyes a quaker in love at last , ( of all sects the most ridiculous ) the subject of some lamentable ballad , that tells you how he is gone to the elizian fields , when'tis onely by moor fields , ( perhaps ) where they are buried amongst the mad men and quakers , and there 's an end of them . character . of a precieuse ; or , artificial beauty . she uses ●he trewel instead of the pencil , and paints so palpably , as if she sought not colour to hide it , but rather to publish it . she is as dextrous at the fan , as a butcher at the fly-flap , and ha's as much need to keep the flyes from her face , as he from his meat . she goes a sowling for gallant 's , and now makes springes for them of her hair , now pit-falls of her breasts , and now lime-twigs of her looks ; and more glories in the multiplicity of them , then a lawyer of his clients , or physician of his patients . mean time , who treat her , may intreat any thing of her ; and he who ha's the coach , may carry her any where : she thinking the point of honour to consist more in reputation of beauty , then fame ; and of being fair , then good . so passes she the spring-tide , and summer of her bea●ty , merrily , till growing tow●rds autumn with her , more arts are necessary to repair the defects of beauty , and decayes of age ; no old cottage ever needing more reparations then she , nor more arts to maintain it : she now complaining sh 'as got a cold , or sleeps not well a nights , that her ill looks may be imputed unto that accident ; now seeking dark corners to shew her warpt complexion in , as couzening citizens do to shew their counterfeited ▪ ware ▪ until at last , when none of these miserable shifts will serve , she pretends to wisdom when her folly will hold out no longer ; and courts the reputation of good , when she can have no longer thât of fair. character . of a natural beauty . made at cobham , anno . whether a chearful air does rise , and elevate her fairer eyes ; or else a pensive heaviness her lovely eye-lids does depress , ever the same becoming grace accompanies her eyes and face : ever you'd think that habit best , in which her count'nance last was drest . poor beauties ! whom a blush or glance can sometimes make look fair by chance ; or curious dress , or artful car● , can make seem fairer then they are : give me the eyes , give me the face , to which no art can adde a grace ; give me the looks , no garb nor dress can ever make more fair , or less . character . of a novice of the — 's order . he is a young lover , and his order is his mistris , that to try his constancy , makes a fool of him ; the more doz'd and bemoapt he is , the better still , 't is a sign he is right , and ha's a true vocation ; and if he have any wit or judgement of his own , they cry out on him for a very reprobate . he hates all women-kinde , and calls a petticoat leviathan , and a smock ( but innocently blanching on a hedge ) asteroth , or the foul devil of fornication . he walks with his eyes as fixed in his head , as a dead hares in a poulterers shop , and crumples up himself like a hog-louse , for fear of ●ffusion . he makes as many stops as he goes , as an old rusty jack , and windes up himself as often to rectifie his intention . he sayes his our fathers as devoutly as others their our father ; and counts the patron of his order the greatest saint in heaven . he is no more mov'd then a statua at a chiding or reprehension , and is as peart and brisk after a good discipline , as an ape after a whipping . he breaks glasses , and thinks to make all whole agen , with a deo gratias , which is the word when he does any thing ( as he does every thing ) untowardly . in fine , his novitiat passes just like an enchantment with him , and he 's in ex●asie all the while , till tow'rds the end he recovers by degrees , and the charm expir'd , he becomes like other men . character . of a wicked debaucht person . his minde is a room all hung with a●etins pictures , and he is practising a pace to design after them , and de facto ha's coppied out most of them already . he is not capable how any one can be chaste , and when he cannot sin in act , he does it in imagination : every thing with him is incensive unto lust , and shew him but so much smock as would scarce make tinder , and he is all afire with it presently . his words are able to defile the ears , and corrupt the manners of any one that hears him ; and there is no such dirty habitation , nor unwholesom air , then that wherein he breathes . he is so little asham'd of his vices , as he glories in them , and shu'd be sorry an● asham'd that any one shu'd be more vicious then he . he knows no crying sins but his own bastards , nor cryes for any himself , but thos● which send him to the surgeons every spring and fall , ( when his sweats are more for his own then adams sins ) and if he lose a nose ( or so ) in the service , he as much glories in it , as a souldier in wounds he has receiv'd in the wars ; and shews that one may be as impudent in being noseless as frontless at any time . to give you his character in brief , he laughs at conscience and religion , his god is his lust , and he believes there is no devil but onely a handsome wench : he thinks hell onely a good winter parlour , heaven onely a pleasant summer seat ; and for the narrow way thither , knows no other , but onely the high-way to maidenhead . character . of an english papist ass. king iames ( of happy memory ) was wont to say , that the papist was his honest ass , he might lay what load he would upon him , and he would bear it patiently ; but the presbyterea● was such a skittish iade , as he kickt and winc't at the least load laid on him . certainly if persecution be not the nighest way to heaven , he goes the farthest way about ; for every one persecutes him , and he bears the burthen of every one : nor will they allow him the priviledge of balaams ass , to speak when he is beaten , but like horace's , he must onely be patient , and shak● his ears . mean time , he bears the faults of every one ; and as * one said wittily , they rail at popery , when the land is almost lost in presbytery ; and cry out fire , fire , in noahs flood . and though the wiser sort perceive their cunning in 't , to finde fault first , when they are faulty themselves , yet the ignoront are cheated with it , who still think those most faulty , who are most cryed out upon , and take the poor ass for some terrible monster of the sea of rome , ( as the major of huntington did a colt for a sturgeon ) whilst others know , he is a good honest ass , who never fail'd his master in time of need , as most of those who rail on him have done . in fine , all i will say of him is this , he is a scrupulous ass , he is a patient ass , and your french ass would never bear half so much , not of the pop● himself . character . of a physician . by sin sickness first entred into the world , and by sickness death and the physician ▪ behold how some derive his pedigree . others say , that as laws beget abuses , and lawyers processes , so physicians do sicknesses and maladies . certain 't is , he and death are but couzen germans once ●emov'd , and both of the same trade and occupation of killing men , however ( by corruption of the judge ) the physician 'scapes , and death is condemned for it . another reason why physician never yet held up his hand at the bar for killing patient , is because the crowners quest finde it self-murder in those who take physick of them . they do more harm then good in the world ( certainly ) for all his saying , that did not physicians kill men so fast as they do , the world wo'd be too full of them ; and who say we must honour physicians for n●cessity , mean onely that they are necessary evils , against whom david prayed infallibly , when he desir'd to be deliver'd from his necessities . and for my part , as 't is said , necessity has no law , so i could wish it had no physicians too , for so we shu'd have no diseases , or at least be rid of thêm , the greatest disease of all . but all this now is to be understood not of our english , but the physicians here , who with their six penny ' fees have skill accordingly ; whilst ours with their golden fees have golden skill , and therefore we honour them : whilst here your poor ▪ signieur doctore , is alwayes beaten , and made the ridiculous subject of every farse . character . of an english merchant , resident in forreign parts . made anno . during his travels in the levant . he is one who goes abroad with a stock of honour as well as money to traffick with , and makes a brave return of either . he is a master and not a slave to wealth , and such a master , as puts it onely to noblest us●s , ( neither sticking at trivial expence nor gain . ) he anticipates not poverty , for fear of being poor , ( like those who kill themselves for fear of death ) nor accelerates it with vain glory of appearing rich , ( like those who guild over ruinous palaces ) but whilst he neither starves the channel with penuriousness , nor exhausts the spring with prodigality , ha's the art to keep the stream still running , and the fount still full ; so as look in his ware-house , and you finde him a wealthy merchant , in all the rest of his house a noble gentleman , and he onely follows his profit on writing dayes , and on all other days his pleasure , &c. so as we may truly say in these dead times , there are none live but he ; who whilst your landed men are outed of all they have , as long as the sea is open , is sure of his coming in . to conclude he is the honour of his nation abroad ; and his nation shu'd be most ungrateful , shu'd it not alwayes honour him . but now you must understand , i speak of such an one , as either live● where they pretend to the universal monarchy at thîs day , or else where they had it in former times ; and not of those penurious ones , who live in your colder climates nigher home , betwixt whom and him there is as much difference , as betwixt them and your scotch pedlars . character . of a timerous disposition . made anno . he is onely for facile and easie things ▪ and if you employ him not in what he is good for , he is good for nothing . he is a● unfit for dangerous negotiations , as a london wher●y for an east india voyage , and dares not offend the present authority for his life . he is not cavalier enough , to understand your gallantry of dying ; nor divine , nor philosoph●r enough , to know what good he can do wh●n he is dead . like the slavish americans , he offers as much incense to those who may harm him , as those who can do him good . mean time , sacrificing more out of fear then love , he is but half an idolater at least . whence in times of trouble and persecution , he pretends not so much to merit as excuse ; and though he be far from a rubrick saint himself , yet at least he honours those who are ; and hopes to be saved by others merits , though not his own , amongst the common sort of christians ; who when any storms of persecution rise , will be sure , which way soever the winde does blow , to keep on the windy side of danger still . character . of a petty french l●tenist in england . made anno . he is a fellow , who with ill cloathes , and worse meen comes over into england , and there sets up a court of judicatur● , arraigning our mu●ick , instruments , and musicians here , for not being a la mode de france ; and almost the hands too , for not being mangie about the wrists like his . especially , he cannot away with the double neck , and twelve ranks of strings upon the lute , ( though far more easie and commodious ) because it is not of their invention . if his fingers be so weak , they can scarce crawle over a lute , then to play gently and softly is the mode , & doucement is the word ; and if they be so gouty and chilblain'd , as they rake the strings worse then if they were grated on with a ragged staff , then strong and lusty is the mode , and fort and gallyard is the word agen . if you like not his play , he tells you he ha's at least the new method of paris , and that he teaches a ravir & ●on pareille ; and for his pieces , ( though rak't out of gualtiers dunghil , or collected from the privy-house of desaut ) he keeps them as precious reliques , and gives out such for new , as were made before the avignon , or the popes coming there . in fine , he is the mountebank of himself , and though he ha's nothing to commend him besides himself , and the being french , ( for which reason you may commend the pox as we●l ) yet your english are so foolish to admir● him ; nor will it ever be otherwise , till some such zealous patriot rise up against them , as he , who hearing them talk of the f●e●ch pox ▪ bid them call it the english , with a pox to them , for we had as good as the french ha● any . character . of an english inne . made anno . an english inne is a house of so ancient standing , as 't is ready to fall down agen ; onely its sign-poast is new , and in that consists its greatest gallantry . within 't is a great machin of four wheels , ostler , cook , tapster , and chamberlain , with mine hoast and hoastis , the main springs that move all the rest . being entred , they all fall to couzening you in their severall vocations ; the ostler your horses , the rest you ; the cook with meat so tough and raw roasted as spite of your teeth y' are forc't to leave it to the house , the tapster in so miscounting his stone iuggs , as you may as well count the stoneage as them ; then the chamberlain uses such couzenage with his faggots , as the fire it self can scarcely bring to light . for your chamber , it seems the press-yard by the pillars of the bed , with a teastern so heavy , as if it fall on you , lord have mercy upon you , and for more exquisite torment and lingring pain ; you have a heavy tapestry for coverlet , in summer kills you with heat , and in winter with cold as well as weight ; with a feather-bed , whose feathers ( as if you flounc't into the water ) part on either side , and leave you in the midst to sink unto the bottom . for mine hoast and hoas●is , who were wont to be good fellows in the dayes of jollity , their humours are spoild in this time of godliness an● stumm'd sack and religion ha's quite mar●d their mirth ; onely mine hoast will make a shift still to b● half drunk every day , and on market dayes out-right , when he is wonderous kinde : and his kindeness chiefly consists in a pin● of sack to the master , and a double iug unto the servingman , alwayes in order to the reckoning , which as a warning-piece being discharged once , there follows a whole volley of welcomes , like small shot discharg'd on every side , and you are discharged too . character . of a chymerical poet. made in africk . with his monstrous simile's and hyperbole's he is like a painter , who makes onely chimera's and grotesque work , whilst others figures are natural , and to the life ; by seeking out new wayes , he mistakes the way to helicon , and loses himself by going out of the common road. he is like statius on his great horse , now on the top , now on the bottom of parnassus , and ha's not art enough to keep him to a constant pace . his conceits come across from him , and stick by the way ; and his many parenthesis's are but like the boggling of resty jades , when they can't or wo'nt advance . his muse is none of the nine , but a mungril or by-blow of parnassus ; and her beauty , is rather sophistical then natural . he offers at learning and philosophy , as pullen and stubble-geese offer to flye , and presently come fluttering down agen . his high-sounding words and verses are but like empty tunns or hogs-heads , which make the greater sound the emptier they are . a long while some admi●'d him , because they understood him not , and for the same reason he admir'd himself : but now they have ' found out the cheat , 't is thought ica●us fate will be his , who for flying too high , came to be drowned at last ▪ and he had sunk long since , had not some like bladders b●lovd him up ; which support now failing him , he will sink faster then heavy bodies fall unto the center . character . of a too ordinary courtier . made at lisbon in portugal . besides his own , he ha's the iesters office too , and by ●t a double priviledge , to say what he list , and not to be whipt for 't when h 'as done . he is a perpetual libel ; in the court , of others ; and to others , of the court : and they repeat but his bold speeches , when they would speak ill of it . his railing differs as much from raillery , as butchers playing at cudgels does from gentlemens playing at foyles ; and he 's worse then aretin , who demanded why he spoke not ill of god , ( since he spoke ill of every one ) answered , porche no i' cognosco , because i know him not , ( for he speaks ill as well of those he knows not , as those he knows ) and if bashfulness and modesty be a vertue in the countrey , but a vice in court , 't is the onely vice he is free from ; for he is never from about the prince , nor ever without some suit to beg of him ▪ so as a fawning spanniel with this motto , quid me ●ultis dare ? or what will you give me , wo'd be the right embleme of him . though he g●t● more then h● deserves , yet he is alwayes complaining , and thinks he gets not so much as he deserves ; when had he his deserts , he shu'd be banished the court , since if it be a heaven or firmament where the prince is the sun , and other courtiers bright stars of severall magnitudes , he is a dark cloud that obscures all the rest , and the court wo'd shine far brighter , were he away . character . of one who troubles her self with everything . her minde is just like their stomacks , who convert , all the nourishment they take , unto di●eases , ; for every thing is matter of trouble with her , and not contented with her own , she troubles her self with those of others too , and will go a thousand miles out of her way to seek it , if she finde none nigher hand . she is perpetually haunted with a panick fear of , oh what will become of us ! &c. and the stories of apparitions in the air , and prognosticks of extraordinary accidents to happen in the year . ( when perhaps 't is nothing but the extraordinary gingle of numbers ) makes her almost out of her wits agen . she troubles her self besides with conditionary thoughts of things that ne're were , nor are , nor are like to be ▪ and for her own business , she makes such work of it , as what betwixt doing and undoing it , like penelope's web , she never makes an end , ( nor can any else for her at last , she so intangles it ) and all this onely for want of knowing how much care and thought she is to bestow on things . whence bestowing all she ha's on every thing , as long as there 's a world , or she is in the world , her care must needs be infinite and immense . to conclude , her minde seems nothing else but an hospital of sick and diseased thoughts ; so throng'd and pester'd with 'um , as there 's no room for any healthy ones . whence her preposterous lodging , all her care and solicitude within doors , and her comfort all without ; she is so unfortunate , to have the one still at hand when she needs it least ; and t'other still to seek , when she ha's most need of it . character . of one who troubles himself with nothing . he thanks god for giving him such a minde , as he neither cares for what he cannot have , nor scarce for any thing others can deprive him of . he places all his contentment within himself , and suffers nothing without to trouble him . he counts it folly to grieve and sorrow for any thing but our sins , since grief and sorrow can remedy nothing else . he loves easie company as he does easie garments , and throws off either when they pain and trouble him . he so loves his liberty , as he won't be slave to any , much less to his own passions , ( to have his minde free at least , and not still carry his master along with him . ) even in friendship he takes the more delightful part , and leaves the more troublesome of adieus and condoling , and the like , and so hates to be in debt , as he loves not to be too much oblig'd by any one . he avoids all high wayes of the vulgar , and by-wayes in religion , not to erre in faith nor opinion ; and strives so to live in this life , as he may have no fear of the other when he comes to dye . to enjoy its pleasures more purely , he willingly relinquishes all the honours and profit of this world ; living neither in the higher region of the air , where storms and tempests are ingendred ; nor in the lower , where they are most subject to them ; but in the middle , where all is quiet and tranquile . so lives he in this world , as if he were out of it , enjoying all its innocent pleasures , and for the rest — they have most pleasure who enjoy them least . character . of a iovial old nobleman . under whatsoever constellation he was born , he is all iovial , when others are saturnine ; and no man was ever more beholding then he to nature , who even in old age ha's given him the spirit and vigour of youth ; and is so feard he shu'd be ever wholly old , as she gives him a youthful minde in an aged body still . he is the scharamacchio of court and state , and is a statesman and courtier travesty , doing more business with trifling , then others with their seriousness ; and his grimaces are more worth then all their gravity ; for whilst they by laying open siege , but allarum men , and put them on their defence , he by intelligence with the humours of every one , suddenly enters their bosoms , and takes them by surprize . he knows sô , how to multiply himself , as he is all to all , and all to every one ; especially amongst the ladies he ha's kindred and affinity with every one ; and he 'l call an old lady of four-score , wife or daughter ; and a young one of fourteen , mother or grandmother , ( onely to be more merry and facetious ) he comes in singing , & goes out dancing still ; so as 't is impossible to be melancholly where he is ; and even heraclitus in his company cu'd not without laughter pass o're this vale of tears . in fine , he is the democratis of the age , and whilst others act tragedies or trage-comedies on the theatre of the world , he onely acts farses and comedies whilst he lives ; and when he dyes , they shu'd onely write benè per acta fabula , he play'd his part well , on his tomb for epitaph . character . of an old lady , who lookt ill upon him , under the name of misa . made anno . now what a devil , misa , makes thee with such eyes behold me still ? 'cause from thee time thy good looks takes , must i needs the●efore have thy ill ? i prethee misa don'● behol● me thus , as if i were thy foe , for howsoever thou art old , i am not time that made thee so . and rather then to quarrel with me , as if t' were i had done thee wrong , go quarre● with thy age i prethee , whose fault 't is thou hast liv'd so long . howe're for me thou well mayest spare thy anger , and thy frowns may ●●ase ; who for thy good looks little care , do's for thy bad ones care much less . character . another on the same . let a●tumn paint her withered leaves , and winter dye his snowy hair ; yet he 's a fool that not perce●ves , that both but counterfeited are . so whilst you 'l needs look young again , and still seem fair unto our sight ; misa , your labour 's all in vain , like his , wo'd wash ●he ethiope white . nature by art is b●tter made , whilst art ha'● ground for what it does ▪ but when the gr●und-work's once decay'd , all art but ●ore deformed shows . who lookt w●ll in king james his reign , and i●●ing charles his old appear'd , will hard●y now look young again , when ●h ' commonwealth has got a beard . then misa , follow my advice , and leaving off thy bootless care , stri●e rather to win hearts then eyes , and to appear more good then fair. character . of a valiant man. he is only a man ; your coward , but a tame and rash , a wilde and savage beast . his courage is still the same , and drink cannot make him more valiant , nor danger less . his sword is not alwayes out , like childrens daggers , but he is as feard to enter into quarrels , as he is fearless when he is in them once . he is never in passion , and knows no degree beyond clear courage , being alwayes valiant , but never furious . he holds boast ( the cowards valour ) and cruelty ( the beasts ) unworthy a valiant man ; and is onely coward in this , that he dares not do an unhandsome action . he is neither quarrelsome nor querulous , nor forwards in harming , nor too fearful in being harm'd ; but his sword in war , is the same as justice's ballance is in peace . the more fierce he is in the field , the more g●ntle he is in the chamber ; and he is not all out-side , like those souldiers who are nothing but buff and feather , but he ha's the inside of a souldier , with the outside of a courtier ; and is as gallant amongst the ladies , as in the face of an enemy : they well therefore joyned mars and venus together , for t'one is too harsh and rough , t'other too soft and effeminate ; both together make the best composition of a valiant man. character . of mrs stuart . stuart a royal name ●hat springs from race of calidonian kings ; whose compositio● and fair frame addes honour to tha● royal name : what praises can i worthy finde , to celebrate thy form a●d minde ? the greatest power that is ●n earth , is given to princes by their birth ; but ther●'s no pow'r in earth ●or heaven more great then what 's to bea●ty given ▪ thâ● makes not onely men relent ▪ when unto rage and fury bent ; b●● lions 〈◊〉 , and tygers milde , all f●erceness from ●heir breasts exil'd . such wonders ye● could ne're be don● by bea●tie's force and pow'r alo●e , without ●he pow'r and force to boot of excelle●t goodness adde● to 't . for just as d●amonds we behold more ●rightly shine whe● set in gold : so beauty shines far brighter yet , i● vertue and in goodness set . continue then but what you are , so admirably good and fair ; let pri●ces by t●eir birth-rights sway , you 'l have a pow'r as great as they . i represent this lady op●nly , and without enigma , since her beauty is so bright , and vertue 's so transp●rent , as they cannot be shaddow'd nor over-clouded ; and with her conclude th●se characters , since i cannot con●lude them with a fairer subject . finis . notes, typically marginal, from the original text notes for div a -e * the assembly man , pag. . micro-cosmographie, or, a peece of the world discovered in essayes and characters. earle, john, ?- . approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : - (eebo-tcp phase ). a stc . estc s ocm this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. 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review (qc) and xml conversion micro-cosmographie . or , a peece of the world discovered ; in essayes and characters . london , printed by william stansby for edward blount . . to the reader gentile or gentle . i haue ( for once ) aduentur'd to playe the mid-wifes part , helping to bring forth these infants into the world , which the father would haue smoothered : who hauing left them lapt vp in loose sheets , as soon as his fancy was deliuered of them ; written especially for his priuate recreation , to passe away the time in the country , and by the forcible request of friends drawne from him ; yet passing seuerally from hand to hand in written copies , grew at length to be a prety number in a little volume : and among so many sundry dispersed trans●cripts , some very imperfect and surreptitious had like to haue past the presse , if the author had not vsed speedy meanes of preuention : when , perceiuing the hazard hee ran to be wrong'd , was vnwillingly willing to let them passe as now they appeare to the world. if any faults haue escap'd the presse , ( as few bookes can bee printed without ) impose them not on the author i intreat thee ; but rather impute them to mine and the printers ouersight , who seriously promise on the re-impression hereof by greater care and diligence , for this our former default , to make thee ample satisfaction . in the mean while , i remaine thine , ed : blovnt . a table of contents . a childe . . a young raw preacher . . a graue diuine . . a meere dull physitian . . an alderman . . a discontented man. . an antiquary . . a younger brother . . a formall man. . a church-papist . a selfe-conceied man. ▪ a tauerne . ▪ a reseru'd man. ▪ a sharke . ▪ a carier . ▪ an old colledge pu●ler . ▪ an vpstart knight . ▪ an idle gallant . ▪ a constable . ▪ a downe-right scholler ▪ a player . ▪ a detractor . ▪ a young gentleman o● the vniuersity . ▪ a pot-poet . . a cooke . . a forward man. . a baker . . a plaine country fellow . . a young-man . . the common singing-men . . a pretender to learning . . a shop-keeper . . a handsome hostesse . . a blunt man. . a criticke . . a sergeant . . a weake man. ▪ a tobacco seller . ▪ a plausible man. ▪ the world 's wise man ▪ a bowle-alley . ▪ a surgeon . ▪ a shee-precise hypocrite . ▪ a contemplatiue man ▪ an aturney . ▪ a sceptick in religion . ▪ a partiall man. ▪ a trumpeter . ▪ a vulgar-spirited man ▪ a ploddding student . . pauls walke . . an vniuersity dun. . a stayed man. . finis . micro-cosmographic . or , a piece of the world characteriz'd . . a childe . is a man in a small letter , yet the best copie of adam before hee tasted of eue , or the apple ; and hee is happy whose small practice in the world can only write this character . hee is nature● fresh picture newly drawne in oyle , which time , and much handling , dimmes and defaces . his soule is yet a white paper vnscribled with obseruations of the world , wherewith at length it becomes a blurr'd note-booke . he is purely happy , because he knowes no euill , nor hath made meanes by sinne to be acquainted with misery . hee arriues not at the mischiefe of being wise , nor endures euils to come by fore seeing them . he kisses and loues all , and when the smart of the rod is past , smiles on his beater . nature and his parents alike dandle him , ●nd tice him on with a bait of sugar , to a draught of worme-wood . hee playes ●et , like a young prentice ●he first day , and is not ●ome to his taske of melancholly . his hardest labour is his tongue , as if he were loath to vse so deceitfull an organ ; and hee ●s best company with it when he can but prattle . wee laugh at his foolish ●ports , but his game is our ●arnest : and his drums , ●attles and hobby-horses , ●ut the emblems , & mock●ng of mans businesse . his ●ther hath writ him as his ●wne little story , wherein hee reades those day e●● his life that hee cannot ●●●member ; and sighes to 〈◊〉 what innocence he has 〈◊〉 liu'd . the elder he growe● hee is a stayer lower fro● god ; and like his first f●●ther mnch worse in 〈◊〉 ●●eeches . he is the chr●●stians example , and the o●●mans relapse : the o●●●mitates his purenesse , an● the other fals into his si●●plicitie . could he put 〈◊〉 his body with his litt●● coate , he had got eternit● without a burthen , and 〈◊〉 chang'd but one heaue● for another . . a young rawe . preacher . ●s a bird not yet fledg'd , 〈◊〉 that hath hopt out of his ●est to bee chirping on a ●edge , and will bee strag●ng abroad at what perill 〈◊〉 euer . his backwardnesse 〈◊〉 the vniuersitie hath set ●im thus forward ; for had ●e not truanted there , hee ●ad not beene so hastie a ●iuine . his small standing ●nd time hath made him a ●roficient onely in bold●esse , out of which and his ●able-booke he is furnisht ●or a preacher . his col●ections of studie are the ●otes of sermons , which taken vp at s. maries , 〈◊〉 vtters in the country . a 〈◊〉 if he write brachigraphy ● his stocke is so much th● better . his writing is mor● then his reading ; for he● reads onely what hee get● without booke . thus accomplisht he comes dow● to his friends , and his fir●● salutation is grace & peac● out of the pulpit . his prayer is conceited , and no ma● remembers his colledg● more at large . the pace o● his sermon is a ful career● and he runnes wildly 〈◊〉 hill and dale till the clock● stop him . the labour of i● is chiefly in his lungs . an● the onely thing hee ha●● made of it himselfe , is the faces . he takes on against the pope without mercy , and ha's a iest still in lauender for bellarmine . his action is all passion , and his speech interiections : hee ha's an excellent faculty in bemoaning the people , and spits with a very good grace . hee will not draw ●his handkercher out of his place , nor blow his nose without discretion . his commendation is , that hee neuer looks vpon booke , and indeed , he was neuer vs'd to it . hee preaches but once a yeare , though twice on sunday : for the stuffe is still the same , only dressing a little alter'd . h● has more trickes with an● sermon , then a tailer with an old cloake , to turn● it , and piece it , and at las● quite disguise it with a new preface . if he haue wade● further in his profession and would shew reading of his own , his authors a●● postils , and his schoole diuinitie a ca●echisme . hi● fashion and demure ha●bit gets him in with som● town-precisian , and mak● him a guest on fryda● nights . you shall know him by his narrow velue cape , and serge facing , an● his ruffe , next his haire , th● shortest thing about hi● the cōpanion of his walke is some zealous tradesman , whom he astonisheth with strange points , which they both vnderstand alike . his friends and much painefulnesse may preferre him to thirtie pounds a yeare , and this means , to a chamber-maide : with whom wee leaue him now in the bonds of wedlocke . next sunday you shal haue him againe . . a graue diuine . is one that knowes the burden of his calling , and hath studied to make his shoulders sufficient : for which he hath not beene hasty to launch forth of his port the vniuersity , hut expected the ballast of learning , and the winde of opportunity . diuinity is not the beginning but the end of his studies , to which hee takes the ordinary stayre , and makes the arts his way . he counts it not profanenesse to bee polisht with humane reading , or to smooth his way by aristotle to schoole-diuinity . he ha's sounded both religions and anchord in the best , and is a protestant out of iudgement , not faction , not because his country , but his reason is on this side . the ministry is his choyce , not refuge , and yet the pulpit not his itch , but feare . his discourse there is substance , not all rhetorique , and he vtters more things then words . his speech is not help't with enforc'd action , but the matter acts it selfe . hee shoots all his meditations at one butt : and beats vpon his text , not the cushion , making his hearers not the pulpit groane . in citing of popish errors , he cuts them with arguments , not cudgels them with barren inu●ctiues : and labours more to shew the truth of his cause then the spleene . his sermon is limited by the method , not the houre-glasse ; and his deuotion goes along with him out of the pulpit . hee comes not vp thrice a weeke because he would not bee idle , nor talkes three houres together , because hee would not talke nothing : but his tongue preaches at fit times ; and his conuersation is the euery dayes exercise . in matters of ceremonie hee is not ceremonious , but thinkes hee owes that reuerence to the church to bow his iudgement to it , and make more conscience of schisme , then a surplesse . hee esteemes the churches hirarchie , as the churches glory , and how-euer wee iarre with rome , would not haue our confusion distinguish vs. in symoniacall purchases he thinks his soule goes in the bargaine , and is loath to come by promition so deare . yet his worth at the length aduances him , and the price of his owne merit buyes him a liuing . he is no base grater of his tythes , and will not wrangle for the odde egge . the lawyer is the onely man he hinders , he is spited for taking vp quarrels . hee is a maine pillar of our church , though not yet deane nor canon , and his life our religions best apologie : his death is his last sermon , where in the pulpit of his bed hee instructs men to dye by his example . . a meere dull physitian . his practice is some businesse at bed-sides , and his speculation an vrinall . hee is distinguish● from an empericke by a round veluet cap , and doctors gowne , yet no man takes degrees more superfluously , for he is doctor howsoeuer . he is sworne to gale● and hypocrates , as vniuersity men to their statutes , though they neuer saw them , and his discourse is all aphorismes , though his reading be onely alexis of piemont , or the regiment of health . the best cure hee ha's done is vpon his own purse , which from a leane sicklinesse he hath made lusty , and in flesh . his learning consists much in reckoning vp the hard names of diseases , and the superscriptions of gally-pots in his apothecaries shoppe , which are rank't in his shelues , and the doctors memory . if he haue been but a by-stander at some desperate recouerie , hee is slander'd with it , though hee be guiltlesse ; and this breeds his reputation , and that his practice ; for his skill is meerely opinion . of all odors he likes best the smell of vrine , and holds vespatians rule , that no gaine is vnsauorie . if you send this once to him , you must resolue to be sick howsoeuer , for he will neuer leaue examining your water till he haue shak● it into a disease . then followes a writ to his drugger in a strange tongue , which hee vnderstands though he cannot conster . if he see you himselfe , his presence is the worst visitation : for if hee cannot heale your sicknesse , he will be sure to helpe it . he translates his apothecaries shop into your chamber , and the verie windowes and benches must take physicke . he tels you your maladie in greeke , though it be but a cold , or head-ach : which by good endeauor and diligence hee may bring to some moment indeed ; his most vnfaithfull act is , that hee leaues a man gasping , and his pretence is , death and he haue a quarrell , and must not meete ; but his feare is , least the carcasse should bleed . anatomies and other spectacles of mortality haue hardened him , and hee 's no more struck with a funerall then a graue-maker . noblemen vse him for a director of their stomacks , and ladies for wantonnesse , especially if hee bee a proper man. if he be single , he is in league with his shee-apothecary , and because it is the physitian , the husband is patient . if he haue leasure to be idle ( that is to study ) he ha's a smatch at alcumy , and is sicke of the pilosophers stone , a disease vncurable , but by an abundant phlebotomy of the purse . his two main opposites are a mountebanke , and a good woman , and he neuer shewes his learning so much as in an inuectiue against them , and their boxes . in conclusion he is a sucking consumption , and a very brother to the wormes , for they are both ingendred out of mans corruption . . an alderman . hee is venerable in his gowne , more in his beard , wherewith hee sets not foorth so much his owne , as the face of a citie . you must looke on him as one of the towne-gates , and consider him not as a body , but a corporation . his eminencie aboue others hath made him a man of worship , for hee had neuer beene prefer'd , but that hee was worth thousands . hee ouer-sees the common-wealth , as his shop , and it is an argument of his policie , that he has thriuen by his craft . hee is a rigorous magistrate in his ward : yet his scale of iustice is suspected , least it bee like the ballances in his ware-house . a ponderous man he is , and substantial : for his weight is commonly extraordinarie , and in his preferment nothing rises so much as his bellie . his head is of no great depth , yet well furnisht , when it is in coniunction with his brethren , may bring foorth a citie apothegme , or some such sage matter . hee is one that will not hastily runne into error , for hee treds with great deliberation , & his iudgment consists much in his pace . his discourse is commonly the annals of his maioralty , and what good gouerment there was in the dayes of his gold chaine : though his doore-posts were the onely things that suffered reformation : hee seemes not sincerely religious , especially on solemne daies ; for he comes oft to church to make a shew . he is the highest stayre of his profession and an example to his trade , what in time they may come to . hee makes very much of his authority ; but more of his sattin doublet ; which , though of good yeares , bears its age very well , and looks fresh euery sunday ; but his scarlet gowne is a monument , and lasts from generation to generation . . a discontented man. is one that is falne out with the world , and will bee reuengd ' on himselfe . fortune ha's deny'd him in something , and hee now takes pet , and will be miserable in spite . the roote of his disease is a selfe-humouring pride , and an accustom'd tendernesse , not to bee cro●t in his fancy ▪ and the occasions com●monly one of these three ▪ a hard father , a peeuish wench , or his ambition thwarted . hee considered not the nature of the world till he felt it , and all blowes fall on him heauier , because they light not first on his expectation . he has now forgone all but his pride , and is yet vaine glorious in the ostentation of his melancholy . his composure of himselfe is a studied carelesnesse with his armes a crosse , and a neglected hanging of his head and cloake , and he is as great an enemie to an hat-band , as fortune . he quarrels at the time , and vp-starts , and sighs at the neglect of men of parts , that is , such as himselfe . his life is a perpetuall satyre , and hee is still girding the ages vanity ; when this very anger shewes he too much esteemes it . hee is much displeas'd to see men merry , and wonders what they can find to laugh at . hee neuer drawes his own lips higher then a smile , and frownes wrinckle him before fortie . hee at the last fals into that deadly melancholy to bee a bitter hater of men , and is the most apt companion for any mischiefe . hee is the sparke that kindles the common-wealth , and the bellowes himselfe to blow it : and if he turn any thing , it is commonly one of these , either friar , traitor , or mad-man . . an antiquary . he is a man strangely thrifty of time past , & an enemy indeed to his maw , whence hee fetche● out many things when they are now all rotten and stinking . hee is one tha● hath that vnnaturall disease to bee enamour'd o● old age , and wrinckles , and loues all things ( as dutchmen doe cheese ) the better for being mouldy and worme-eaten . he is of our religion , because we say it is most ancient ; and yet a broken statue would almost make him an idolater . a great admirer he is of the rust of old monuments , and reades onely those charactars , where time hath eaten out the letters . hee will goe you forty miles to see a saints well , or ruin'd abbey : and if there be but a crosse or stone foot-stoole in the way , hee 'l be considering it so long , till he forget his iourney . his estate consists much in shekels , and roman coynes , and he hath more pictures of caesar , then iames or elizabeth ▪ beggers coozen him with musty things which they haue rak't from dunghils , and he preserues their rags for precious reliques . he loues no library , but where there are more spiders volums then authors , and lookes with great admiration on the antique worke of cob-webs . printed bookes he contemnes , as a nouetly of this latter age ; but a manu-script the pores on euerlastingly , especially if the couer be all moth-eaten , and the dust make a parenthesis betweene euerie sillable . he would giue all the bookes in his studie ( which are rarities all ) for one of the old romane binding , or sixe lines of tully in his owne hand . his chamber is hung commonly with strange beasts skins , and is a kind of charnel-house of bones extraordinarie , and his discourse vpon them , if you will heare him shall last longer . his verie atyre is that which is the eldest out of fashion , and you may picke a criticism out of his breeches . he neuer lookes vpon him self til he is gray-hair'd , and then he is pleased with his owne antiquity . his graue do●s not fright him , for he ha's been vs'd to sepulchers , and hee likes death the better , because it gathers him to his fathers . . younger brother . his elder brother was the esau , that came out first and left him like iacob at his heeles . his father ha's done with him , as phararh to the children of israel , that would haue them make brick , and giue them no straw , so he taskes him to bee a gentleman , and leaues him nothing to maintaine it . the pride of his house has vndone him , which the elder knighthood must sustaine , and his beggery that knighthood . his birth and bringing vp will not suffer him to descend to the meanes to get wealth : but he stands at the mercy of the world , and which is worse of his brother . he is something better then the seruing-men ; yet they more saucy with him , then hee bold with the master , who beholds him with a countenance of sterne awe , and checks him oftner then his liueries . his brothers old suites and hee are much alike in request , and cast off now and then one to the other . nature hath furnisht him with a little more wit vpon compassion ; for it is like to be his best reuenew . if his annuity stretch so farre he is sent to the vniuersity , and with great heart-burning takes vpon him the ministry ; as a profession hee is condemn'd , to by his ill fortune . other take a more crooked path , yet the kings high-way , where at length their vizzard is pluck't off , and they strike faire for tiburne : but their brothers pride , not loue , gets them a pardon . his last refuge is the low-countries , where rags and lice are no scandall , where hee liues a poore gentleman of a company , and dies without a shirt . the onely thing that may better his fortunes , is an art hee ha's to make a gentlewoman , wherewith hee baits now and then some rich widow , that is hungry after his blood . he is commonly discontented , and desperate , and the forme of his exclamation is , that churle my brother . he loues not his country for this vnnatural custome , and would haue long since reuolted to the spaniard , but for kent onely which he holds in admiration . . a meere formall man. is somewhat more then the shape of a man ; for he has his length , breadth , and colour . when you haue seene his outside , you haue lookt through him , and need imploy your discouery no farther . his reason is meerly example , and his action is not guided by his vnderstanding , but he sees other men doe thus , and he followes them . he is a negatiue , for we cannot call him a wise man , but not a foole ; nor an honest man , but not a knaue ; nor a protestant , but not a papist . the chiefe burden of his brain is the carriage of his body , and the setting of his face in a good frame : which hee performes the better , because hee is not disiointed with other meditations . his religion is a good quiet subiect , and he prayes , as he sweares , in the phrase of the land. he is a faire guest , and a faire inuiter , and can excuse his good cheere in the accustomed apologie . hee ha's some faculty in mangling of a rabbet , and the distribution of his morsell to a neighbour trencher . hee apprehends a iest by seeing men smile , and laughes orderly himselfe , when it comes to his turne . his discourse is the newes that hee hath gathered in his walke , and for other matters his discretion is , that he will only what hee can , that is , say nothing . his life is like one that runnes to the minster-walke , to take a turne , or two , and so passes . he hath staid in the world to fill a number ; and when he is gone , there wants one , and there 's an end . . a church-papist . is one that parts his religion betwixt his conscience and his purse , and comes to church not to serue god , but the king. the face of the law makes him weare the maske of the gospel , which he vses not as a meanes to saue his soule , but charges . he loues popery well , but is loath to lose by it , and though he be somthing scar'd with the buls of rome , yet they are farre off , and he is strucke with more terror at the apparitor . once a moneth he presents himselfe at the church , to keepe off the church warden , & brings in his body to saue his bayle . he kneels with the congregation , but prayes by himselfe , and asks god forgiuenesse for comming thither . if he be forc'd to stay out a sermon , he puts his hat ouer his eyes , and frowns out the houre , and when hee comes home , thinkes to make amends for this fault by abusing the preacher . his maine policy is to shift off the communion , for which he is neuer vnfurnish't of a quarrell , and will be sure to be out of charity at easter ; and indeed lies not , for hee ha's a quarrell to the sacrament . he would make a bad martyr , and good trauellor , for his conscience is so large , he could neuer wander out of it , and in constantinople would be circumcis'd with a reseruation . his wife is more zealous , and therfore more costly , and he bates her in tyres , what she stands him in religion . but we leaue him hatching plots against the state , and expecting spinola . . a selfe conceited man. is one that knowes himselfe so well that he does not know himselfe . two excellent well-dones haue vndone him ; and hee is guilty , that first commended him to madnesse . he is now become to his owne booke , which he poares on continually , yet like a truant-reader skips ouer the harsh places and surueyes onely that which is pleasant . in the speculation of his owne good parts , his eyes like a drunkards see all double , and his fancy like an old mans spectacles , make a great letter in a small print . he imagines euery place where hee comes his theater , and not a looke stirring , but his spectator ; and conceiues mens thoughts to be very idle , that is , busie about him . his walke is still in the fashion of a march , and like his opinion vnaccompanyed , with his eyes most fixt vpon his owne person , or on others with reflection to himselfe . if he haue done any thing that ha's past with applause , he is alwayes re-acting it alone , and conceits the extasie his hearers were in at euery period . his discourse is all positions , and definitiue decrees , with thus it must be , and thus it is , and hee will not humble his authority to proue it . his tenent is alwayes singular , and aloofe from the vulgar as he can , from which you must not hope to wrest him . hee ha's an excellent humor , for an heretique , and in these dayes made the first arminian . he prefers ramus before aristotle , & paracelsus before galen , and whosoeuer with most paradox is commended , & lipsius his hopping stile , before either tully or quintilian . he much pities the world , that ha's no more in sight in his parts , when he is too well discouered , euen to this very thoght . a flatterer is a dunce to him , for he can tell him nothing but what hee knowes before , and yet he loues him to , because he is like himselfe . men are mercifull to him , and let him alone , for if he be once driuen from his humor , he is like two inward friends fallen out ; his own bitter enemy , and discontent presently makes a murther . in summe , he is a bladder blown vp with wind , which the least flaw crushes to nothing . . a tauerne . is a degree , or ( if you will ) a paire of stayres aboue an alehouse , where men are drunke with more credit and apologie . if the vintners nose be at dore , it is a signe sufficient , but the absence of this is supplyed by the iuie-bush . the rooms are ill breath'd , like the drinkers that haue been washt wel ouer night , and are smelt too fasting next morning ; not furnisht with beds apt to be defil'd , but more necessary implements , stooles , table , and a chamber-pot . it is a broacher of more newes then hogs-heads , & more iests then newes , which are sukt vp heere by some spungie braine , and from thence squeazed into a comedy . men come here to make merry , but indeed make a noise , and this musicke aboue is answered with the clinking below . the drawers are the ciuilest people in it , men of good bringing vp , and howsoeuer we esteeme of them , none can boast more iustly of their high calling . t is the best theater of natures , where they are truely acted , not plaid , and the busines as in the rest of the world vp and downe , to wit , from the bottome of the seller to the great chamber . a melancholy man would finde heere matter to worke vpon , to see heads as brittle as glasses , and ofter broken . men come hither to quarrell , and come hither to be made friends , and if plutarch will lend me his simile , it is euen telephus his sword that makes wounds , and cures them . it is the common cōsumption of the afternoone , and the murderer , or maker away of a rainy day . it is the torrid zone that scorches the face , and tobacco the gun-powder that blowes it vp . much harme would be done , if the charitable vintener had not water readie for these flames . a house of sinne you may call it but not a house of darknesse for the candles are neuer out , and it is like those countries farre in the north , where it is as cleare at mid-night as at mid-day . after a long sitting , it becomes like a street in a dashing showre , where the spouts are flushing aboue , and the conduits running below , while the iordans like swelling riuers ouerflow their bankes . to giue you the totall reckoning of it . it is the busie mans recreation , the idle mans businesse , the melancholy mans sanctuary , the strangers welcome , the innes a court mans entertainment , the schollers kindnesse , and the citizens curtesie . it is the studie of sparkling wits , and a cup of canary their book , where we leaue them . . a too idly reseru'd man. is one that is a foole with discretion : or a strange piece of politician , that manages the state of himselfe , his actions are his priuie counsell , wherein no man must partake beside . he speakes vnder rule and prescription , and dare not shew his teeth without machiauell . he conuerses with his neighbours as he would in spaine , and feares an inquisitiue man as much as the inquisition . hee suspects all questions for examinations , and thinks you would pick something out of him , and auoids you : his brest is lik a gentlewomans closet , which locks vp euerie toye and trifle , or some bragging mounte-banke , that makes euerie stinking thing a secret . he deliuers you common matters with great coniuration . of silence , and whispers you in the eare acts of parliament . you may as soone wrest a tooth from him as a paper , and whatsoeuer he reads is letters . he dares not talke of great men for feare of bad comments , and he knowes not how his words may bee misapplyed . aske his opinion and he tels you his doubt : and hee neuer heares any thing more astonishtly then what he knowes before . his words are like the cards at primiuiste , where . is . and . . for they neuer signifie what they sound ; but if he tell you he wil do a thing , it is as much as if hee swore he would not . he is one indeed that takes all men to be craftier then they are , and puts himselfe to a great deale of affliction to hinder their plots , and designes where they meane freely . hee ha's beene long a riddle himselfe , but at last finds oedipusses ; for his ouer-acted dissimulation discouers him , and men doe with him as they would with hebrew letters , spell him backwards , and read him . . a sharke . is one whome all other meanes haue fayl'd , and hee now liues of himselfe . he is some needy casheir'd fellow , whom the world has oft flung off , yet still claspes againe , and is like one a drowning , fastens vpon any thing that 's next at hand , amongst other of his shipwrackes hee has happyly lost shame , and this want supplies him . no man puts his braine to more vse then hee , for his life is a dayly inuention , and each meale a new stratagem . hee has an excellent memorie for his acquaintance , though there past but how doe you betwixt them seuen yeeres agoe , it shall suffice for an imbrace , and that for money . he offers you a pottle of sacke out of his ioy to see you , and in requitall of this courtesie , you can doe no lesse then pay for it . he is fumbling with his purse-strings , as a schoole-boy with his points , when hee is going to bee whipt , till the master wearie with long stay , forgiues him . when the reckoning is payd , he sayes it must not bee so , it is strait pacified , and cryes what remedie . his borrowings are like subsidies , each man a shilling or two , as he can well dispend , which they lend him ▪ not with the hope to be repayd , but that he will come no more . he holds a strange tyranny ouer men , for he is their debtor , and they feare him as a creditor . he is proud of any imployment , though it bee but to carry commendations , which he will be sure to deliuer at eleuen of the clocke . they in curtesie bid him stay , & he in manners cannot deny them . if he find but a good looke to assure his welcom , he becomes their halfe boorder , and haunts the threshhold so long , till he forces good natures to the necessity of a quarrell . publique iuuitations hee will not wrong with his absence , and is the best witnesse of the sheriffes hospitality . men shun him at length as they would doe an infection , and he is neuer crost in his way , if there be but a lane to escape him . he ha's done with the age as his clothes to him , hung on as long as he could , and at last drops off . . a carrier . is his own hackneyman for hee lets himselfe out to trauel as well as his horses . hee is the ordinarie embassadour betweene friend and friend , and brings rich presents to the one , but neuer returnes any backe againe . he is no vnletter'd man , though in shew simple , for questionlesse , hee has much in his budget , which hee can vtter too in fit time and place ; he is the vault in gloster church , that conueyes whispers at a distance ; for hee takes the sound out of your mouth at yorke , and makes it bee heard as farre as london . hee is the young students ioy and expectation , and their most accepted guest , to whom they lend a willing hand to discharge him of his burthen . his first greeting is , your friends are well ; then in a piece of gold deliuers their blessi●g . you would thinke him a churlish blunt fellow , but they find in him many tokens of humanitie . he is a great afflicter of the high-way , and beates them out of mesure , which iniury is somtimes reuengd by the purse-taker ; & then the voyage miscaries . no mandomineers more in his inne , nor cals his host vnreuerently with more presumption , and this arrogance proceeds out of the strength of his horses . he forgets not his load where he takes his ease , for he is drunke commonly before he goes to bed . he is like the prodigall child , still packing away , and still returning againe . but let him passe . . an old colledge butler . is none of the worst students in the house , for he keeps the set houres at his booke more duly then any . his authority is great ouer mens good names , which hee charges many times with shrewd aspersions , which they hardly wipe off without payment . his boxe and counters proue him to bee a man of reckoning ; yet he is stricter in his accounts then a vsurer , and deliuers not a farthing without writing . he doubles the pains of gallobelgicus , for his bookes goe out once a quarter , and they are much in the same nature , briefe notes and summes of affaires , and are out of request as soone . his commings in are like a taylors from the shreds of bread , the chippings , and remnants of the broken crust : excepting his vailes from the barrell , which poore folkes buy for their hogs , but drinke themselues . he diuides a halfe-peny loafe with more subtilty then kekerman , and sub-diuides the a primo ortum so nicely , that a stomacke of great capacity can hardly apprehend it . hee is a very sober man considering his manifold temptations of drinke and strangers , and if hee be ouer-seene , t is within his owne liberties , and no man ought to take exceptions . he is neuer so well pleas'd with his place , as when a gentleman is beholding to him for shewing him the buttery , whom hee greets with a cup of single beere and slyst manchet , and tels him t is the fashion of the colledge . hee domineers ouer fresh-men when they first come to the hatch , and puzzles them with strange language of cues , and cees , and some broken latine which he ha's learnt at his bin. his faculties extraordinary , is the warming of a paire of cards , and telling out a doozen of counters for post and paire , and no man is more methodicall in these businesses . thus hee spends his age , till the ●appe of it is runne out , and then a fresh one is set abroach . . an vp-start countrey knight . his honour was somewhat preposterous , for hee bare the kings sword before he had armes to wield it ; yet being once laid ore the shoulder with a knighthood , he finds the herauld his friend . his father was a man of good stocke , though but a tanner , or vsurer ; hee purchast the land , and his son the title . he ha's do●t off the name of a clowne , but the looke not so easie , and his face beares still a relish of churne-milke . hee is garded with more gold lace then all the gentlemen o' th country , yet his body makes his clothes stil out of fashion . his house-keeping is seene much in the distinct families of dogges , and seruing-men attendant on their kennels , and the deepenesse of their throats is the depth of his discourse . a hauke he esteemes the true burthen of nobility , and is exceeding ambitious to seeme delighted in the sport , and haue his fist glou'd with his iesses . a iustice of peace hee is to domineere in his parish , and doe his neighbour wrong with more right . and very scandalous he is in his authority , for no sinne almost which hee will not commit . hee will be drunke with his hunters for company , and staine his gentility with droppings of ale. he is fearfull of being sheriffe of the shire by instinct , and dreads the size-weeeke as much as the prisoner . in summe , he is but a clod of his owne earth , or his land is the dunghill , and he the cocke that crowes ouer it . and commonly his race is quickly runne , and his childrens children , though they scape hanging , returne to the place from whence they came . . a gallant . is one that was born and shapt for his cloathes : and if adam had not falne , had liu'd to no purpose . hee gratulates therefore the first sinne , and fig-leaues that were an occasion of brauery . his first care is his dresse , the nex● his bodie , and in the vniting of these two lies his soule and its faculties . he obserues london trulier then the termers , and his businesse is the street : the stage , the court , and those places where a proper man is best showne . if hee be qualified in gaming extraordinary , he is so much the more gentile and compleate , and hee learnes the best oathes for the purpose . these are a great part of his discourse , & he is as curious in their newnesse as the fashion . his other talke is ladies and such pretty things , or some iest at a play. his pick-tooth beares a great part in his discourse , so does his body ; the vpper parts whereof are as starcht as his linnen , and perchance vse the same laundresse . hee has learnt to ruffle his face from his boote , and takes great delight in his walke to heare his spurs gingle . though his life passe somewhat slidingly , yet he seemes very carefull of the time , for hee is still drawing his watch out of his poket , and spends part of his houres in numbring them . he is one neuer serious but with his taylor , when hee is in conspiracie for the next deuice . he is furnisht his iests , as some wanderer with sermons , some three for all congregations , one especially against the scholler , a man to him much ridiculous , whome hee knowes by no other definition , but a silly fellow in blacke . he is a kind of walking mercers shop , and shewes you one stuffe to day , and another tomorrow ; an ornament to the roomes he comes in , as the faire bed and hangings be ; and is meerely ratable accordingly , fiftie or an hundred pound as his suit is . his maine ambition is to get a knight-hood , and then an olde ladie , which if he be happy in , he fils the stage and a coach so much longer . otherwise , himselfe and his cloathes grow stale together , and he is buried commonly ere hee dies in the gaole , or the country . . a constable . is a vice-roy in the street , and no man stands more vpon 't that he is the kings officer . his iurisdiction extends to the next stocks , where he ha's commission for the heeles onely , and sets the rest of the body at liberty . hee is a scar-crow to that alehouse , where he drinkes not his mornings draught , and apprehends a drunkard for not standing in the kings name . beggers feare him more then the iustice , and as much as the whip-stocke , whom hee deliuers ouer to his subordinate magistrates , the bride-wel-man , and the beadle . hee is a great stickler in the tumults of double iugges , and venters his head by his place , which is broke many times to keep whole the peace . he is neuer so much in his maiesty as in his night-watch , where hee sits in his chayre of state , a shop-stall , and inuiron'd with a guard of halberts , examines all passengers . he is a very carefull man in his office , but if hee stay vp after midnight , you shall take him napping . . a downe right sholler . is one that has much learning in the ore , vnwrought and vntryde , which time and experience fashions and refines . he is good mettall in the inside , though rough & vnscour'd without , and therefore hated of the courtier , that is quite contrarie . the time has got a veine of making him ridiculous , and men laugh at him by tradition , and no vnluckie absurdity , but is put vpon his profession , and done like a scholler . but his fault is onely this , that his mind is somewhat much taken vp with his mind , and his thoughts not loaden with any carriage besides . hee has not put on the quaint garbe of the age , which is now become a mans totall . he has not humbled his meditations to the industrie of complement , not afflicted his braine in an elaborate legge . his body is not set vpon nice pinnes , to bee turning and flexible for euery motion , but his scrape is homely , and his nod worse . he cannot kisse his hand and cry madame , nor talke idly enough to beare her company . his smacking of a gentle-woman is somewhat too sauory , and he mistakes her nose for her lippe . a very woodcock would puzzle him in caruing , and hee wants the logicke of a capon . he has not the glib faculty of sliding ouer a tale , but his words come squeamishly out of his mouth , and the laughter commonly before the iest . he names this word colledge too often , and his discourse beats too much on the vniuersity . the perplexity of mannerlinesse will not let him feed , and he is sharpe set at an argument when hee should cut his meate . he is discarded for a gamester at all games but one and thirty , and at tables he reaches not beyond doublets . his fingers are not long and drawn out to handle a fiddle , but his fist is clunch't with the habite of disputing . he ascends a horse somwhat sinisterly , though not on the left side , and they both goe iogging in griefe together . he is exceedingly censur'd by the innes a court men , for that hainous vice being out of fashion . hee cannot speake to a dogge in his owne dialect , and vnderstands greeke better then the language of a falconer . hee has beene vsed to a darke roome , and darke clothes , and his eyes dazzle at a sattin doublet . the hermitage of his study , has made him somwhat vncouth in the world , and men make him worse by staring on him . thus is he silly and ridiculous , and it continues with him for some quarter of a yeare , out of the vniuersitie . but practise him a little in men , and brush him ore with good companie , and hee shall out-ballance those glisterers as much as a solid substance do's a feather , or gold gold-lace . . a player . he knows the right vse of the world , where in he comes to play a part and so away . his life is not idle for it is all action , and no man need be more wary in his doings , for the eyes of all men are vpon him . his profession ha's in it a kind of contradiction , for none is more dislik'd , and yet none more applauded ; and he ha's this misfortude of some scholler , too much wit makes him a foole . he is like our painting gentle-women , seldome in his owne face , seldomer in his cloathes , and he pleases , the better hee counterfeits , except onely when he is disguis'd with straw for gold lace . hee do's not only personate on the stage , but sometime in the street , for he is mask'd still in the habit of a gentleman . his parts find him oathes and good words , which he keeps for his vse and discourse , and makes shew with them of a fashionable companion . he is tragicall on the stage , but rampant in the tyring-house , and sweares oathes there which he neuer con'd . the waiting women spectators are ouer-eares in loue with him , and ladies send for him to act in their chambers . your innes of court men were vndone but for him , hee is their chiefe guest and imployment , and the sole busines that makes them afternoones men ; the poet only is his tyrant , and he is bound to make his friends friend drunk at his charges . shroue-tuesday hee feares as much as the baudes , and lent is more damage to him then the butcher . he was neuer so much discredited as in one act , & that was of parliament , which giues hostlers priuiledge before him , for which hee abhors it more then a corrupt iudge . but to giue him his due , one wel-furnisht actor has enough in him for fiue common gentlemen , and if he haue a good body for sixe , and for resolution , hee shall challenge any cato , for it has beene his practise to die brauely . . a detractor . is one of a more cunning and actiue enuy , wherewith he gnaws not foolishly himselfe , but throwes it abroad and would haue it blister others . he is commonly some weake parted fellow , and worse minded , yet is strangely ambitious to match others , not by mounting their worth , but bringing them down with his tongue to his owne poorenesse . hee is indeed like the red dragon that pursued the woman , for when hee cannot ouer-reach another , hee opens his mouth and throwes a flood after to drowne him . you cannot anger him worse then to do well , and hee hates you more bitterly for this , then if you had cheated him of his patrimony with your owne discredit . he is alwayes slighting the generall opinion , and wondring why such and such men should bee applauded . commend a good diuine , hee cryes postilling , a philologer pedantrie , a poet ryming , a schoole man dull wrangling , a sharpe conceite , boy-ishnesse ; an honest man pla●sibilitie . hee comes to publique things not to learne , but to catch , and if there bee but one soloecisme , that 's all he carries away . hee lookes on all things with a prepared sowrenesse , and is still furnisht with a pish before hand , or some musty prouerbe that dis-relishes all things whatsoeuer . if feare of the company make him second a commendation , it is like a law-writ , alwaies with a clause and exception , or to smooth his way to some greater scandall . hee will grant you somthing , and bate more ; and this bating shal in conclusion take away all hee granted . his speech concludes still with an oh but , and i coud wish one thing amended ; and this one thing shal be enough to deface all his former commendations . hee will bee very inward with a man to fish some bad out of him , and make his slanders hereafter more authenticke , when it is said a friend reported it . he will inueigle you to naughtinesse to get your good name into his clutches , and make you drunk to shew you reeling . he passes the more plausibly because all men haue a smatch of his humour , and it is thought freenes which is malice . if he can say nothing of a man , hee will seeme to speak riddles , as if he could tell strange stories if he would : and when he has rackt his inuention to the vttermost , hee ends : but i wish him well , and therfore must hold my peace . he is alwayes listning and enquiring after men , and suffers not a cloake to passe by him vn-examin'd . in briefe , hee is one that has lost all good himselfe , and is loth to find it in another . . a meere young gen-man of the vniuersitie . is one that comes there to weare a gown , and to say hereafter , he has beene at the vniuersitie . his father sent him thither , because hee heard there were the best fencing and dancing-schooles , from these he has his education , from his tutor the ouer-sight . the first element of his knowledge is to be shewne the colledges , and initiated in a tauerne by the way , which hereafter hee wil learne of himselfe . the two markes of his senioritie , is the bare veluet of his gowne , and his proficiencie at tennis , where when hee can once play a set , he is a fresh-man no more . his studie has commonly handsome shelues , his bookes near silke strings , which he shewes to his fathers man , and is loth to vntye or take downe for feare of misplacing . vpon foule dayes for recreation hee retyres thither , and looks ouer the prety booke his tutor reades to him , which is commonly some short historie , or a piece of euphormio ; for which his tutor giues him money to spend next day . his maine loytering is at the library , where he studies armes and bookes of honour , and turnes a gentleman-critick in pedigrees . of all things he endures not to bee mistaken for a scholler , and hates a black suit though it be of sattin . his companion is ordinarily some stale fellow , that ha's beene notorious for an ingle to gold hatbands , whom he admires at first , afterward scornes . if hee haue spirit or wit , he may light of better company , and may learne some flashes of wit , which may doe him knights seruice in the country hereafter . but hee is now gon to the inns of court , where he studies to forget what hee learn'd before , his acquaintance and the fashion . . a pot-poet . is the dreggs of wit ; yet mingled with good drink mae haue some relish . his inspirations are more reall then others ; for they doe but faine a god , but he has his by him . his verses run like the tap , and his inuention as the barrell , ebs and flowes at the mercy of the spiggot . in thin drinke hee aspires not aboue a ballad , but a cup of sacke inflames him , and sets his muse and nose a fire together . the presse is his mint , and stamps him now and then a sixe pence or two in reward of the baser coyne his pamphlet . his workes woul● 〈◊〉 sell for three halfe-pence , though they are giuen oft for three shillings , but for the prety title that allures the country gentleman : and for which the printer maintaines him in ale a fortnight . his verses are like his clothes , miserable cento's and patches , yet their pace is not altogether so hobbling as an almanacks . the death of a great man or the burning of a house furnish him with an argument , and the nine muses are out strait in mourning gownes , and melpomine cryes fire , fire . his other poems are but briefs in rime , and like the poore greekes collections to redeeme from captiuity . he is a man now much imploy'd in commendations of our nauy , and a bitter inueigher against the spaniard . his frequent'st workes goe out in single sheets , and are chanted from market to market , to a vile tune , and a worse throat , whilst the poore country wench melts like her butter to heare them . and these are the stories of some men of tyburne , or a strange monster out of germany : or sitting in a baudy-house ; hee writes gods iudgements . hee ends at last in some obscure painted cloth , to which himselfe made the verses , and his life like a canne too full spils vpon the bench . he leaues twenty shillings on the score , which my hostesse looses . . a cooke . the kitchin is his hel , and hee the diuell in it , where his meate aud he frye together . his reuennues are showr'd downe from the fat of the land , and he enter-lards his own grease among to helpe the drippings . colericke hee is , not by nature so much as his art , & it is a shrewd temptation that the chopping knife is so neare . his weapons ofter offensiue , are a messe of hot broth , and scalding water , and woe be to him that comes in his way . in the kitchin he wil domineere , and rule the roste , in spight of his master , and curses is the very dialect of his calling . his labour is meere blustring and furie , and his speech like that of sailors in a storme , a thousand businesses at once , yet in all this tumult hee do's not loue cumbustion , but will be the first man that shall goe and quench it . hee is neuer good christian till a hizzing pot of ale has slak't him , like water cast on a fire-brand , & for that time he is tame and disposest . his cunning is not small in architecture , for he builds strange fabricks in paste , towres and castles , which are offered to the assault of valiant teeth , and like darius his pallace , in one banquet demolisht . hee is a pittilesse murderer of innocents , and hee mangles poore foules with vnheard of tortures , and it is thought the martyrs persecutions were deuised from hence , sure we are st. lawrence his gridiron came out of his kitchin. his best facultie is at the dresser , where he seemes to haue great skill in the tactickes , ranging his dishes in order militarie , and placing with great discretion in the fore-front meates more strong and hardy and the more cold and cowardly in the reare , as quaking tarts , and quiueri●g custards , and such milke-sop dishes which scape many times the fury of the encounter . but now the second course is gone vp , and hee downe into the sellar , where hee drinkes and sleepes till foure a clocke in the afternoone , and then returnes againe to his regiment . . a forward bold man. is a lusty fellow in a crowd , that 's beholding more to his elbow then his legges , for he do's not goe but thrusts well . hee is a good shuffler in the world , wherin he is so oft putting forth , that at length he puts on . he can doe something , but dare doe much more , and is like a desperate soldier , who will assault any thing where he is sure not to enter . he is not so well-opinion'd of himselfe , as industrious to make other ; and thinks no vice so preiudiciall as blushing . hee is still citing for himselfe , that a candle should not be hid vnder a bushell , and for his part , he will be sure not to hide his , thogh his candle be but a snuffe or rush-candle . these few good parts hee has , he is no niggard in displaying , and is like some needy flanting gold-smith , no thing in the inner roome , but all on the ●np-boord : if he be a scholler , he ha's commonly stept into the pulpit before a degree ; yet into that too before he deseru'd it . he neuer deferres s. maries beyond his regencie , and his next sermon is at pruls crosse , and that printed . he loues publike things alife : and for any solemne entertainment he will find a mouth , find a speech who will. hee is greedy of great acquaintance and many , and thinkes it no small aduancement to rise to bee knowne . his talke at the table is like beniamins messe , fiue times to his part , and no argument shuts him out for a quarrellour . of all disgraces he indures not to be non-plust , and had rather flye for sanctuary to non-sense , which few can descry , then to nothing which all . his boldnesse is beholding to other mens modestie , which rescues him many times from a bafflle ; yet his face is good armour , and hee is dasht out of any thing sooner then countenance . grosser conceites are puzzel'd in him for a rare man , and wiser men , though they know him , take him for their pleasure , or as they would doe a sculler for being next at hand . thus preferment at last stumbles on him because hee is still in the way . his companions that flouted him before , now enuie him , when they see him come readie for scarlet , whilst themselues lye mustie in their old clothes and colledges . . a baker . no man verifies the prouerbe more , that it is an almes-deed to punish him : for his penalty is a dole , and do's the beggers as much good as their dinner . he abhors therefore workes of charitie , and thinkes his bread cast away when it is giuen to the poore . he loues not iustice neither , for the weigh-scales sake , and hates the clarke of the market as his executioner : yet hee findes mercy in his offences , and his basket onely is sent to prison . marry a pillory is his deadly enemy , and he neuer heares well after . . a plaine country fellow . is one that manures his ground wel , but lets himselfe lie fallow and vntil'd . hee has reason enough to doe his businesse , and not enough to be idle or melancholy . hee seemes to haue the iudgement of nabuchadnezar for his conuersation is among beasts , and his tallons none of the shortest , only he eates not grasse , because he loues not sallets . his hand guids the plough , and the plough his thoughts , and his ditch and land●marke is the very mound of his meditations . he expostulates with his oxen very vnderstandingly , and speakes gee and ree better then english . his mind is not much distracted with obiects , but if a good fat cowe come in his way , he stands dumbe and astonisht , and though his haste be neuer so great , will fixe here halfe an houres contemplation . his habitation is some poore thatcht roofe , distinguisht from his barn , by the loope-holes that let out smoak , which the raine had long since washt thorow , but for the double seeling of bacon on the inside , which has hung ther from his grandsires time , and is yet to make rashers for posterity . his dinner is his other worke , for he sweats at it as much as at his labour ; he is a terrible fastner on a piece of beefe , and you may hope to staue the guard off sooner . his religion is a part of his copy-hold , which hee takes from his land-lord , and referres it wholly to his discretion . yet if hee giue him leaue , he is a good christian to his power ( that is ) comes to church in his best clothes , and sits there with his neighbours , where he is capable onely of two praiers , for raine , and faire weather . hee apprehends gods blessings onely in a good yeere , or a fat pasture , and neuer praises him bu● on good ground . sunday he esteemes a day to make merrie in , and thinkes a bag-pipe as essentiall to it , as euening prayer , where hee walkes very solemnly after seruice with his hands coupled behind him , and censures the dauncing of his parish . his complement with his neighbour is a good thumpe on the backe ; and his salutation commonly some blunt curse . hee thinkes nothing to bee vices but pride and ill-husbandrie , from which hee wil grauely disswade youth and has some thriftie hob-nayle prouerbes to clout his discourse . hee is a niggard all the weeke except onely market-day , where if his corne sell well , hee thinkes he may be drunke with a good conscience . his feete neuer stinke so vnbecommingly as when hee trots after a lawyer in west-minster●hall , and euen cleaues the ground with hard scraping , in beseeching his worship to take his money . hee is sensible of no calamitie but the burning of a stacke of corne , or the ouer-flowing of a medow , and thinkes noahs flood the greatest plague that euer was , not because it drowned the world , but spoyl'd the grasse . for death hee is neuer troubled , and if hee get in but his haruest before , let it come when it wil he cares not . . a young-man . hee is now out of natures protection , though not yet able to guide himselfe . but left loose to the world , and fortune , from which the weaknesse of his childhood preseru'd him : and now his strength exposes him . hee is indeed iust of age to be miserable , yet in his owne conceit first begins to be happy ; and hee is happier in this imagination , and his misery not felt is lesse . he sees yet but the outside of the world and men , and conceiues them according to their appearing glister , and out of this ignorance beleeues them . he pursues all vanities for happinesse , and enioyes them best in this fancy . his reason serues not to curbe but vnderstand his appetite , and prosecute the motions thereof with a more eager earnestnes . himselfe is his owne temptation , and needs not satan ; and the world will come hereafter . hee leaues repentance for gray hayres , and performes it in being couetous . hee is mingled with the vices of the age as the fashion and custome , ●ith which hee longs to bee acquainted ; and sinnes to better his vnderstanding . he conceiues his youth as the season of his lust , and the houre wherein hee ought to bee bad : and because he would not lose his time , spends it . he distasts religion as a sad thing , and is sixe yeeres elder for a thought of heauen . hee scornes and feares , and yet hopes for old age , but dare not imagine it with wrincles . hee loues and hates with the same inflamation : and when the heate is ouer is coole alike to friends and enemies . his friendship is seldome so stedfast but that lust , drinke , or anger may ouerturne it . he offers you his blood to day in kindnesse , and is readie to take yours to morrow . he do's seldome any thing which hee wishes not to doe againe , and is onely wise after a misfortune . hee suffers much for his knowledge , and a great deale of folly it is makes him a wise man. hee is free from manie vices , by being not grown to the performance , and is onely more vertuous out of weaknesse . euerie action is his danger , and euery man his ambush . hee is a shippe without pilot or tackling , and only good fortune may steere him . if he scape this age , hee ha's scap't a tempest , and may liue to be a man. . the common singing-men in cathedrall churches . are a bad society , and yet a company of good fellowes , that roare deep in the quire , deeper in the tauerne . they are the eight parts of speech which goe to the syntaxis of seruice , and are distinguish't by their noyses much like bels , for they make not a consort but a peale . their pastime or recreation is prayers , their exrecise drinking , yet herein so religiously addicted that they serue god oftest when they are drunke . their humanity is a legge to the residencer , their learning a chapter , for they learne it commonly before they read it , yet the old hebrew names are little beholding to them , for they mis-call them worse then one another . though they neuer expound the scripture , they handle it much , and pollute the gospel with two things , their conuersation , and their thumbes . vpon worky-dayes they behaue themselues at prayers as at their pots , for they swallow them downe in an instant . their gownes are lac'd cōmonly with streamings of ale , the superfluites of cups , or throat aboue measure . their skill in melody makes them the better companions abroad , and their anthemes abler to sing catches . long-liu'd for the most part they are not , especially the base , they ouer-flow their banke so oft to drowne the organs . briefly , if they escape arresting , they dye constantly in gods seruice ; and to take their death with more patience , they haue wine and cakes at their funerall : and now they keepe the church a great deale better , and helpe to fill it with their bones as before with their noise . . a pretender to learning . is one that would make others more fooles then himselfe ; for though hee know nothing , he would not haue the world know so much . he conceits nothing in learning but the opinion , which he seekes to purchase without it , though hee might with lesse labour cure is ignorance , then hide it . he is indeed a kind of scholler-mountebank , and his art , our delusion . he is trickt out in all the accoutrements of learning , and at the first encounter none passes better . he is oftner in his study , then at his booke , and you cannot pleasure him better , then to deprehend him . yet he heares you not til the third knocke , and then comes out very angry , as interrupted . you find him in his slippers , and a pen in his eare , in which formality he was asleep . his table is spred wide with some classicke folio , which is as constant to it as the carpet , and hath laid open in the same page this halfe yeare . his candle is alwayes a longer sitter vp then himselfe , and the boast of his window at midnight . he walkes much alone in the posture of meditation , and ha's a booke still before his face in the fields . his pocket is seldome without a greeke testament , or hebrew bible , which hee opens only in the church , and that when some stander by lookes ouer . he has his sentences for company , some scatterings of seneca and tacitus , which are good vpon all occasions . if hee read any thing in the morning , it comes vp all at dinner : and as long as that lasts , the discourse is his . he is a great plagiarie of tauerne-wit : and comes to sermons onely that he may talke of austin . his parcels are the meere scrapings frō company , yet he complains at parting what time he has lost . he is wondrously capricious to seem a iudgement , and listens with a soure attention , to what he vnderstands not : he talkes much of scaliger and causabone , and the iesuites , and prefers some vnheard-of dutch name before them all . he has verses to bring in vpon these and these hints , and it shall goe hard but he will wind in his opportunity . he is criticall in a language hee cannot conster , and speaks seldome vnder arminius in diuinity . his businesse and retirement and caller away is his study , and he protests no delight to it comparable . hee is a great nomen-clator of authors , which hee has read in generall in the catalogue , and in particular in the title , and goes seldome so farre as the dedication . hee neuer talkes of any thing , but learning , and learnes all from talking . three incounters with the same men pumpe him , and then hee onely puts in , or grauely sayes no thing . he has taken paines to be an asse , though not to be a scholler , and is at length discouered and laught at . . a shop-keeper . his shop is his wel stuft booke , and himselfe the title-page of it , or index . hee vtters much to all men , though he sels but to a few , and intreates for his owne necessities by asking others what they lacke . no man speakes more and no more , for his words are like his wares , twentie of one sort , and he goes ouer them alike to all commers . he is an arrogant commender of his owne things ; for whatsoeuer hee shewes you , is the best in the towne , though the worst in his shop . his conscience was a thing , that would haue layde vpon his hands , and he was forc't to put it off : and makes great vse of honestie to professe vpon . hee tels you lyes by rote , and not minding , as the phrase to sell in , and the language hee spent most of his yeeres to learne . he neuer speakes so truely , as when hee sayes hee would vse you as his brother , for hee would abuse his brother ; & in his shop , thinkes it lawfull . his religion is much in the nature of his customers , and indeed the pander to it : and by a misinterpreted sense of scripture makes a gaine of his godlinesse . hee is your slaue while you pay him ready money , but if hee once be-friend you , your tyrant , and you had better deserue his hate then his trust . . a handsome hostesse . is the fairer commendation of an inne , aboue the faire signe or faire lodgings . she is the loadstone that attracts men of iron , gallants and roarers , where they cleaue sometimes long , and are not easily got off . her lips are your wel-come , and your entertainement her companie , which is put into the reckoning too , and is the dearest parcell in it ▪ no citizens wife is demurer then shee at the first greeting , nor drawes in her mouth with a chaster simper , but you may be more familiar without distaste , and shee do's not startle at baudrie . she is the confusion of a pottle of sacke more then would haue beene spent els-where , and her little iugs are accepted , to haue her kisse excuse them . shee may be an honest woman , but is not beleeu'd so in her parish , and no man is a greater in fidel in it then her husband . . a blunt man. is one whose wit is better pointed then his behauiour , and that course , and impollisht not out of ignorance so much as humour . he is a great enemy to the fine gentleman , and these things of complement , and hates ceremonie in conuersation , as the puritan in religion . hee distinguishes not betwixt faire and double-dealing , and suspects all smoothnesse for the dresse of knauerie . hee starts at the encounter of a salutation , as an assault , and beseeches you in choller to forbeare your courtesie . hee loues not any thing in discourse that comes before the purpose , and is alwaies suspicious of a preface . himselfe fals rudely still on his matter without any circumstance , except hee vse an old prouerbe for an introduction . he sweares olde out of date innocent othes , as by the masse , by our ladie , and such like ; and though there bee lords present , hee cryes my masters . hee is exceedingly in loue with his humour , which makes him alwayes professe and proclaime it , and you must take what he sayes patiently , because he is a plaine man. his nature is his excuse still and other mens tyrant for hee must speake his mind , and that is his worst , and craues your perdon most iniuriously for not pardoning you . his iests best become him , because they come from him rudely and vnaffected : and hee has the lucke commonly to haue them famous . hee is one that will doe more then he will speake , and yet speake more then hee will heare : for though hee loue to touch others , hee is teachy himselfe , and seldome to his own abuses replyes but with his fists . hee is as squeazie of his commendations as his courtesie , and his good word is like an elogie in a satyre . hee is generally better fauour'd then hee fauours , as being commonly well expounded in his bitternesse , and no man speaks treason more securely . hee chides great men with most boldnesse , and is counted for it an honest fellow . hee is grumbling much in the behalfe of the common-wealth , and is in prison oft for it with credit . hee is generally honest , but more generally thought so , and his downe-rightnesse credits him , as a man not wel bended and crookned to the times . in conclusion , hee is not easily bad , in whom this qualitie is nature , but the counterfeit is most dangerous since he is disguis'd in a humour , that professes not to disguise . . a criticke . is one that has speld ouer a great many of bookes , and his obseruation is the orthographie . hee is the surgeon of old authors , and heales the wounds of dust and ignorance . he conuerses much in fragments and desunt multa's , and if he piece it vp with two lines , he is more proud of that booke then the authour . hee runnes ouer all sciences to peruse their syntaxis , and thinkes all learning compris'd in writing latine . hee tastes styles , as some discreeter palats doe wine ; and tels you which is genuine , which sophisticate and bastard . his owne phrase is a miscellanie of old words , deceas'd long before the caesars , and entoomb'd by varro , and the modern'st man hee followes is plautus . hee writes omneis at length , and quidquid , and his gerund is most inconformable . hee is a trouble troublesome vexer of the dead , which after so long sparing must rise vp to the iudgement of his castigations . he is one that makes all bookes sell dearer , whilst he swels them into folio's with his comments . . a sergeant or catch-pole . is one of gods iudgement ; and which our roarers doe onely conceiue terrible . hee is the properest shape wherein they fancie satan ; for hee is at most but an arrester , and hell a dungeon . hee is the creditors hawke , wherewith they seaze vpon flying birds , and fetch them againe in his tallons . he is the period of young gentlemen , or their full stop , for when hee meetes with them they can goe no farther . his ambush is a shop-stall , or close lane , and his assault is cowardly at your backe . hee respites you in no place but a tauerne , where hee sels his minutes dearer then a clocke-maker . the common way to runne from him , is through him , which is often attempted and atchieued , and no man is ofter beaten out of chatitie . hee is one makes the streete more dangerous then the high-wayes , and men goe better prouided in their walkes then their iourney . hee is the first handsell of the young rapiers of the templers , and they are as proud of his repulse , as an hungarian of killing a turke . he is a moueable prison , and his hands two manacles hard to be fil'd off . he is an occasioner of di●loyal thoughts in the common-wealth , for he makes men hate the kings name worse then the deuils . . a weake man. is one whom nature huddled vp in hast , and left his best part vnfinish't . the rest of him is growne to bee a man , onely his braine stayes behind . hee is a man that ha's not improou'd his first rudiments , nor attain'd any proficiencie by his stay in the world : but wee may speake of him yet as when hee was in the budde a good harmelesse nature , a well meaning mind , if hee could order his intentions . it is his misery that hee now most wants a tutor , and is too old to haue one . hee is two steps aboue a foole , and a great many mo below a wise-man : yet the foole is oft giuen him , and by those whom he esteems most . some tokens of him are . he loues men better vpon relation then experience : for he is exceedingly enamour'd of strangers , and none quicklier a weary of his friend . hee charges you at first meeting with all his secrets , and on better acquaintance growes more reseru'd . indeed he is one that mistakes much his abusers for friends , and his friends for enemies , and hee apprehends your hate in nothing so much , as in good counsell . one that is flexible with any thing but reason , and then only peruerse ; & you may better intice then perswade him . a seruant to euery tale and flatterer , & whom the last man still works ouer . a great affecter of wits and such pretinesses ; and his company is costly to him , for he seldom ha's it but inuited . his friendship commonly is begun in a supper and lost in lending money . the tanerne is a dangerous place to him , for to drinke and to be drunke , is with him all one , and his braine is sooner quenchd then his thirst . he is drawn into naughtines with company , but suffers alone , and the bastard commonly laid to his charge . one that will bee patiently abus'd , and take exceptions a moneth after when he vnderstands it , and then not endeare him more then by coozening him , and it is a temptation to those that would not . one discouerable in all sillinesses to all men but himselfe , & you may take any mans knowledge of him better then his owne . hee will promise the same thing to twentie , and rather then denie one breake with all . one that ha's no power o're himselfe , o're his businesse , o're his friends : but a prey and pitie to all : and if his fortunes once sinke , men quickly crie alas , and forget him . . a tobacco-seller . is the onely man that finds good in it which others brag of , but doe not ; for it is meate , drinke , and clothes to him . no man opens his ware with greater seriousnesse , or challenges your iudgement more in the approbation . his shop is the randeuous of spitting , where men dialogue with their noses , and their communication is smoke . it is the place onely where spaine is commended and prefer'd before england it selfe . he should be well experienc'd in the world : for he ha's daily tryall of mens nostrils , and none is better acquainted with humors . hee is the piecing commonly of some other trade , which is bawd to his tobacco , and that to his wife , which is the flame that followes this smoke . . a plausible man. is one that would faine run an eeuen path in the world , and iutt against no man. his endeuour is not to offend , and his ayme the generall opinion . his conuersation is a kind of continued complement , and his life a practise of manners . the relation hee beares to others , a kind of fashionable respect , not friendship , but friendlines , which is equall to all and 〈…〉 and his kindnesses seldome exceed courtesies . hee loues not deeper mutualities , because hee would not take sides , nor hazard himselfe on displeasures , which he principally auoids . at your first acquaintance with him he is exceeding kind and friendly , and at your twentieth meeting after but friendly still . he has an excellent command ouer his patience and tongue , especially the last , which hee accommodates alwayes to the times and persons , and speakes seldome what is sincere , but what is ciuill . he is one that vses al companies , drinkes all healths , and is reasonable coole in all religions . he can listen to a foolish discourse with an applausiue attention , and conceale his laughter at non-sense . silly men much honour and esteeme him , because by his faire reasoning with them as with men of vnderstanding , he puts them into an erroneous opinion of them selues , and makes them forwarder heereafter to their owne discouerie . he is one rather well thought on then belou'd , and that loue hee ha's is more of whole companies together then any one in particular . men gratifie him notwithstanding with a good report , and what euer vices he ha's besides , yet hauing no enemies , he is sure to be an honest fellow . . the worlds wise man. is an able and sufficient wicked man , it is a proofe of his sufficiency that hee is not called wicked , but wise . a man wholy determin'd in himselfe and his owne ends , and his instruments herein any thing that will doe it . his friends are a part of his engines , and as they serue this worke , vs'd or laid by . indeed hee knowes not this thing of friend , but if hee giue you the name , it is a signe he ha's a plot on you . neuer more actiue in his businesses , then when they are mixt with some harme to others : and t is his best play in this game to strike off and lie in the place . sucsessfull commonly in these vndertakings , because he passes smoothly those rubs which others stumble at , as conscience and the like : and gratulates himselfe much in this aduantage : oathes and falshood he counts the neerest way , and loues not by any meanes to goe about . hee has many fine quips at this folly of plaine dealing , but his tush is greatest at religion , yet hee vses this too , and vertue , and good words , but is lesse dangerously a diuel then a saint . he ascribes all honestie to an vnpractis'dnesse in the world : and conscience a thing meerely for children . hee scornes all that are so silly to trust him , and onely not scornes his enemie ; especially if as bad as himselfe : he feares him as a man well arm'd , and prouided , but sets boldly on good natures , as the most vanquishable . one that seriously admires those worst princes , as sforza , borgia , and richard the third : and cals matters of deepe villany things of difficultie . to whom murders are but resolute acts , and treason a businesse of great consequence . one whom two or three countries make vp to this compleatnesse , and he ha's traueld for the purpose . his deepest indearment is a communication of mischiefe , and then onely you haue him fast . his conclusion is commonly one of these two , either a great man , or hang'd . . a bowle alley . is the place where there are three things throwne away beside bowls , to wit , time , money and curses , and the last ten for one . the best sport in it is the gamesters , and he enioyes it that lookes on and bets not . it is the schoole of wrangling , and worse then the schooles , for men will cauill heere for an haires breadth , and make a stirre where a straw would end the controuersie . no anticke , screwes mens bodies into such strange flexures , and you would think them senslesse , to speak sense to to their bowle , and put their trust in intreaties for a good cast . the betters are the factious noise of the alley , or the gamesters beadsmen that pray for them . they are somewhat like those that are cheated by great men , for they lose their mony & must say nothing . it is the best discouery of humors , especially in the losers , where you haue fine variety of impatience , whilst some fret , some raile , some sweare , and others more ridiculously comfort themselues with philosophy . to giue you the morall of it ; it is the em●leme of the world , or the worlds ambition : where most are short , or ouer , or wide or wrong-byas'r , and some few iustle in to the mistris fortune . and it is here as in the court , where the nearest are most spighted , and all blowes aym'd at the toucher . . a surgeon . is one that has some businesse about his building or little house of man , whereof nature is as it were the tyler , and hee the playsterer . it is ofter out of reparations , then an old parsonage , and then he is set on worke to patch it againe . hee deales most with broken commodities , as a broken head , or a mangled face , and his gaines are very ill got , for he liues by the hurts of the common-wealth . he differs from a physitian as a sore do's from a disease , or the sicke from those that are not whole , the one distempers you within , the other blisters you without . he complaines of the decay of valour in these daies , and sighes for that slashing age of sword and buckler ; and thinkes the law against duels , was made meerly to wound his vocation . hee had beene long since vndone , if the charitie of the stewes had not relieued him , from whom he ha's his tribute as duely as the pope , or a wind-fall sometimes from a tauerne , if a quart pot hit right . the rarenesse of his custome maks him pittilesse when it comes : and he holds a patient longer then our courts a cause . hee tels you what danger you had beene in if he had staide but a minute longer , and though it bee but a prickt finger , hee makes of it much matter . he is a reareasonable cleanely man , considering the scabs hee ha's to deale with , & your finest ladies now and then are beholding to him for their best dressings . hee curses old gentlewomen , and their charity that maks his trade their almes : but his enuie is neuer stir'd so much as when gentlemen goe ouer to sight vpon calice sands , whome hee wishes drown'd ere they come there , rather then the french shall get his custome . . a shee-precise . hypocrite . is one in whom good women suffer , and haue their truth mis-interpreted by her folly . she is one , she knows not what her selfe if you aske her , but shee is indeed one that ha's taken a toy at the fashion of religion , and is enamour'd of the newfangle . see is a nonconformist in a close stomacher and ruffe of geneua print , and her puritie consists much in her linnen . shee ha's heard of the rag of rome , and thinkes it a very sluttish religion , and rayles at the whore of babylon for a very naughty woman . shee ha's left her virginity as a relique of popery , and marries in her tribe without a ring . her deuotion at the church is much in the turning vp of her eye , and turning downe the lease in her booke when shee heares nam'd chapter and verse . when she comes home , shee commends the sermon for the scripture , and two houres . she loues preaching better then praying , and of preachers lecturers , and thinkes the weeke-dayes exercise farre more edifying then the sundaies . her oftest gossippings are sabaoth-dayes iourneyes , where ( though an enemy to superstition ) shee will goe in pilgrimage fiue mile to a silenc'd minister , when there is a better sermon in her owne parish . shee doubts of the virgin marie's saluation , and dare not saint her , but knowes her own place in heauen as perfectly , as the pew shee ha's a key to . shee is so taken vp with faith , shee ha's no roome for charity , and vnderstands no good workes , but what are wrought on the sampler . she accounts nothing vices but superstition , and an oath , and thinkes adultery a lesse sinne , then to sweare by my truely . shee rayles at other women by the names of iezabel and dalilah : and calls her owne daughters rebecka and abigail , and not anne but hannah . she suffers them not to learne on the virginalls , because of their affinity with the organs , but is reconcil'd to the bells for the chymes sake , since they were reform'd to the tune of a psalme . she ouer flowes so with the bible , that she spils it vpon euery occasion , and wil not cudgell her maides without scripture . it is a question whether shee is more troubled with the diuell or the diuell with her : shee is alwayes challenging and daring him , and her weapons are spels no lesse potent then different , as being the sage sentences of some of her owne sectaries . no thing angers her so much as that woemen cannot preach , and in this point onely thinkes the brownist erroneous : but what shee cannot at the church , shee do's at the table , where she prattles more then any against sense , and antichrist , till a capon wing silence her . shee expounds the priests of baal reading ministers , and thinkes the saluation of that parish as desperate as the turkes . shee is a maine derider to her capacitie of those that are not her preachers , and censures all sermons but bad ones . if her husband be a tradsman , shee helpes him to customers , how soeuer to good cheere , and they are a most faithfull couple at these meetings , for they neuer faile . her conscience is like others lust neuer satisfied , and you might better answere scotus then her scruples . shee is one that thinkes shee performes all her duty to god in hearing , and shewes the fruits of it in talking . shee is more fiery against the may-pole then her husband , and thinkes he might doe a phinehas his act to break the pate of the fiddler . she is an euerlasting argument ; but i am weary of her . . a contemplatiue man. is a scholler in this great vniuersity the world ; and the same his booke and study . hee cloysters not his meditations in the narrow darknesse of a roome , but sends them abroad with his eyes , and his braine trauels with his feete . he looks vpon man from a high tower , and sees him trulyer at this distance in his infirmities and poorenesse . he scornes to mixe himselfe in mens actions ; as he would to act vpon a stage ; but sits aloft on the scaffold a censuring spectator . nature admits him as a partaker of her sports , and asks his approbation as it were of her owne workes , and variety . hee comes not in company , because hee would not be solitary , but findes discourse enough with himselfe , and his owne thoughts are his excellent play-fellowes . he lookes not vpon a thing as a yawning stranger at nouelties ; but his search is more mysterious and inward , and hee spels heauen out of earth . he knits his obseruations together , and makes a ladder of them all to climbe to god. he is free from vice , because he has no occasion to imploy it , and is aboue those ends that make men wicked . he ha's learnt all can heere be taught him , and comes now to heauen to see more . . an aturney . his ancient beginning was a blue coat , since a liuery , and his hatching vnder a lawer ; whence though but pen-feather'd , hee hath now nested for himselfe , and with his horded pence purchast an office . two deskes , and a quire of pader set him vp , where he now sits in state for all commers . we can-call him no great anthor , yet he writes very much , and with the infamy of the court is maintain'd in his libels . hee ha's some smatch of a scholler , and yet vses latine very hardly , and le●t it should accuse him , cuts it off in the midst , and will not let it speake , out . he is contrary to great men , maintained by his followers , that is his poore country clients , that worship him more then their landlord , and be there neuer such churles , he lookes for their curtesie . he first racks them soundly himselfe , and then deliuers them to the lawier for execution . his looks are very solicitous importing much hast and dispatch , he is neuer without his hanfull of businesse , that is , of paper . his skin becomes at last as dry as his parchment and his face as intricate as the most winding cause . he talkes statutes as fiercely , as if he had mooted seuen yeers in the inns of court ; when all his skill is stucke in his girdle , or in his office window . strife and wrangling haue made him rich , and he is thankfull to his benefactor , and nourishes it . if he liue in a country village , he makes all his neighbours good subiects ; for there shall be nothing done but what there is law for . his businesse giues him not leaue to thinke of his conscience , and when the time , or terme of his life is going out , for doomes-day he is secure ; for he hopes he has a tricke to reuerse iudgement . . a scepticke in religion . is one that hangs in the ballance with all sorts of opinions , whereof not one but stirres him and none swayes him . a man guiltier of credulity then he is taken to bee ; for it is out of his beleefe of euery thing , that hee fully beleeues nothing . each religion scarres him from it's contrary : none perswades him to it selfe . hee would be wholy a christian , but that he is something of an atheist , and wholy an atheist , but that hee is partly a christian ; and a perfect heretick , but that there are so many to distract him . he finds reason in all opinions , truth in none : indeed the least reason perplexes him , and the best will not satisfie him . he is at most a confus'd and wild christian , not specializ'd , by any forme , but capable of all . he vses the lands religion , because it is next him , yet he sees not why hee may not take the other , but he chuses ●his , not as better , but because there is not a pin to choose . he finds doubts and sernples better then resolues them , and is alwayes too hard for himselfe . his learning is too much for his brayne ; and his iudgment too little for his learning , and his oueropinion of both spoyls all pity it was his mischance of being a scholler ; for it do's only distract and irregulate him & the world by him . he hammers much in generall vpon our opinions vncertainety , and the possibility of erring makes him not venture on what is true . he is troubled at this naturalnesse of religion to countries , that protestantisme should bee borne so in england and popery abroad , and that fortune and the starres should so much share in it . he likes not this connexion of the common-weale , and diuinity , and feares it may be an arch-practice of state. in our differences with rome he is strangely vnfix't , and a new man euery new day , as his last discourse-books meditations transport him . hee could like the gray haires of poperie , did not some dotages there stagger him ; hee would come to vs sooner , but our new name affrights him . he is taken with their miracles but doubts an imposture ; hee conceiues of our doctrine better ; but it seemes too empty and naked . he cannot driue into his fancy the circumscription of truth to our corner , and is as hardly perswaded to thinke their old legends true . he approues wel of our faith , and more of their workes , and is sometimes much affected at the zeale of amsterdam . his conscience interposes it selfe betwixt duellers , and whillst it would part both , is by both wounded . he will somtimes propend much to vs vpon the reading a good writer , and at bellarmine recoyles as farre backe againe ; and the fathers iustle him from one side to another now sosinaas and vorstius afr●sh torture him , and he agrees with none worse then himselfe . he puts his foot into heresies tenderly as a cat in the water , and pulls it out againe , and still something vnanswer'd delayes him yet he beares away some parcell of each , and you may sooner picke all religions out of him then one , he cannot thinke so many wise men should be in error , nor so many honest men out of the way and his wounder is dubled , when he sees these oppose one annother . he hates authority as the tyrant of reason , and you cannot anger him worse then with a fathers dixit , and yet that many are not perswaded with reason , shall authorize his doubt . in summe , his whole life is a question , and his saluation a greater , which death onely concludes , and then he is resolu'd . . a partiall man. is the opposite extreame to a defamer , for the one speakes ill falsly , and the other well , and both slander the truth . he is one that is still weighing men in the scale of comparisons , and puts his affection in the one ballance , and that swayes . his friend alwayes shall doe best , and you shall rarely heare good of his enemy . hee considers first the man , and then the thing , and restraines all merit to what they deserue of him . commendations hee esteemes not the debt of worth , but the requitall of kindnesse : and if you aske his reason , shewes his interest , and tels you how much he is beholding to that man. hee is one that ties his iudgement to the wheele of fortune , and they determine giddily both alike . he preferres england before other countries , because he was borne there , and oxford before other vniuersities , because hee was brought vp there , and the best scholler there , is one of his owne colledge and the best schooler there is one of his friends . hee is a great fauourer of great persons , and his argument is still that which should bee antecedent , as he is in high place , therefore vertuous , he is prefer'd , therefore worthy . neuer aske his opinion , for you shall heare but his faction , and he is indifferent in nothing but conscience . men esteeme him for this a zealous affectionate , but they mistake him many times , for hee does it but to bee esteemed so . of all men hee is worst to write an historie , for hee will praise a seianus or tiberius , and for some pettie respect of his all posteritie shall bee cosen'd . . a trumpeter . is the elephant with the great trunke , for hee eates nothing but what comes through this way . his profession is not so worthy as to occasion insolence , and yet no man so much puft vp . his face is as brazen as his trumpet , and ( which is worse ) as a fidlers , from whom hee differeth onely in this , that his impudence is dearer . the sea of drinke , and much wind make a storme perpetually in his cheeks , and his looke is like his noyse , blustering and tempestuous . hee wa's whilome the sound of warre , but now of peace ; yet as terrible as euer , for wheresoere hee comes they are sure to pay for 't . he is the common attendant of glittering folkes , whether in the court or stage , where he is alwaies the prologues prologue . he is somewhat in the nature of a hogshed shrillest when he is empty ; when his belly is full hee is quiet enough . no man proues life more to bee a blast , or himselfe a bubble , and he is like a counterfeit bankrupt , thriues best when he is blowne vp . . a vulgar-spirited man. is one of the heard of world. one that followes meerely the common crye , and makes it louder by one . a man that loues none but who are publikely affected , and he will not be wiser then the rest of the towne . that neuer ownes a friend after an ill name , or some generall imputation though he knowes it most vnworthy . that opposes to reason , thus men say , and thus most doe , and thus the world goes , and thinkes this enough to poyse the other . that worships men in place , and those onely , and thinkes all a great man speakes oracles . much taken with my lords i●st , and repeats you it all to a sillable . one that iustifies nothing out of fashion , nor any opinion out of the applauded way . that thinkes certainly all spaniards and iesuites very villaines , and is still cursing the pope and spynola . one that thinkes the grauest cassocke the best scholler : and the best clothes the finest man. that is taken onely with broad and obscoene wit , and hisses any thing too deepe for him . that cries chaucer for his money aboue all our english poets , because the voice ha's gone so , and hee ha's read none . that is much rauisht with such a noble-mans courtesie , and would venture his life for him , because he put off his hat. one that is formost still to kisse the kings hand , and cries god blesse his maiestie loudest . that rayles on all men condemn'd and out of fauour , and the first that sayes away with the traytors : yet struck with much ruth at executions , and for pittie to see a man die , could kill the hang-man . that comes to london to see it , and the pretty things in it , and the chiefe cause of his iourney the beares : that measures the happinesse of the kingdome , by the cheapnesse of corne ; and conceiues no harme of state , but il trading . within this compasse too , come those that are too much wedg'd into the world , and haue no lifting thoughts aboue those things that call to thriue , to doe well , and preferment onely the grace of god. that ayme all studies at this marke , & shew you poore schollers as an example to take heed by . that thinke the prison and want , a iudgement for some sin , and neuer like well hereafter of a iayle-bird . that know no other content but wealth , brauery , and the towne-pleasures ; that thinke all else but idle speculation , and the philosophers , mad-men : in short , men that are carried away with all outwardnesses , shews , appearances , the streame , the people ; for there is no man of worth but has a piece of singularity , and scornes something . . a herald . is the spawne , or indeed but the resultancie of nobility , and to the making of him went not a generation , but a genealogie . his trade is honour , and hee sells it , and giues armes himselfe , though hee be no gentleman . his bribes are like those of a corrupt iudge , for they are the prices of blood . he seemes very rich in discourse , for he tels you of whole fields of gold and siluer , or & argent , worth much in french , but in english nothing . he is a great diuer in the streames or issues of gentrie , and not a by-channell of bastard escapes him , yet he dos with them like some shamelesse queane , fathers more children on them , then euer they begot . his trafficks is a kind of pedlery ware , scutchions , and pennons and little daggers , and lyons , such as children esteeme and gentlemen : but his peni-worths are rampant , for you may buy three whole brawns cheaper , then three boars heads of him painted . hee was somtimes the terrible coat of mars , but is now for more mercifull battels in the tilt-yard , where whosoeuer is victorious , the spoiles are his . hee is an art in england , but in wales nature , where they are borne with heraldry in their mouthes , and each name is a pedegree . . a plodding student . is a kind of alchymist or , persecurer of nature , that would change the dull lead of his brain into finer mettle with successe , many times as vnprosperous , or at least not quitting the cost , to wit , of his owne oyle and candles . he ha's a strange forc't appetite to learning , and to atchieue it brings nothing but patience and a body . his studie is not great but continuall , and consists much in the sitting vp till after midnight in a rug-gowne , and a night-cap to the vanquishing perhaps of some sixe lines : yet what hee ha's , he ha's perfect , for he reads it so long to vnderstand it , till he gets it without booke . hee may with much industry make a breach into logicke , and ariue at some ability in an argument : but for politer studies hee dare not skirmish with them , and for poetry accounts it impregnable . his inuention is no more then the finding out of his papers , and his few gleanings there , and his disposition of them is as iust as the book-binders , a setting or glewing of them together . hee is a great discomforter of young students , by telling them what trauell it ha's cost him , and how often his braine turn'd at philosophy , and makes others feare studying as a cause of duncery . hee is a man much giuen to apothegms which serue him for wit , and seldome breakes any iest , but which belong'd to some lacedemonian or romane in lycosthenes . he is like a dull cariers horse , that will go a whole weeke together but neuer out of a foot-pace : and hee that sets forth on the saturday shall ouertake him . . pauls walke . is the lands epitome , or you may call it the lesser ile of great brittaine . it is more then this , the whole worlds map , which you may here discerne in it's perfect'st motion iustling and turning . it is a heape of stones and men , with a vast confusion of languages , and were the steeple not sanctifyed nothing liker babel . the noyse in it is like that of bees , a strange humming or buzze , mixt of walking , tongues , and feet : it is a kind of still roare or loud whisper . it is the great exchange of all discourse , & no busines whatsoeuer but is here stirring and a foot . it is the synod of all pates politicke , ioynted and laid together in most serious posture , and they are not halfe so busie at the parliament . it is the anticke of tailes to tailes , and backes to backes , and for vizards you need goe no further then faces . it is the market of young lecturers , whom you may cheapen here at all rates and sizes . it is the generall mint of all famous lies , which are here like the legends of popery , first coyn'd & stampt in the church . all inuentions are emptyed here , and not few pockets . the best signe of a temple in it is , that it is the theeues sanctuary , which robbe more safely in the croud , then a wildernesse , whilst euery searcher is a bush to hide them . it is the other expence of the day , after playes , tauerne , and a baudy-house , and men haue still some oathes left to sweare here . it is the eares brothell , and satisfies their lust , and ytch . the visitants are all men without exceptions , but the principall inhabitants and possessors , are stale knights , and captaines out of seruice , men of long rapiers , and breeches , which after all turne merchants here , and trafficke for newes . some make it a preface to their dinner , and trauell for a stomacke : but thriftier men make it their ordinarie : and boord here verie cheape . of all such places it is least haunted with hobgoblins , for if a ghost would walke more , hee could not . . a vniuersitie dunne . is a gentlemans follower cheaply purchas'd , for his own money ha's hyred him . hee is an inferiour creditour of some ten shillings or downwards , contracted for horse-hire , or perchance for drinke , to weake to bee put in suite . and he arrests your modesty . hee is now very expensiue of his time , for hee will waite vpon your staires a whole afternoone , and dance attendance with more patience then a gentleman-vsher . hee is a sore beleaguerer of chambers , and assaults them sometimes with furious knockes : yet finds strong resistance commonly , and is kept out . hee is a great complayner of schollers loytering , for hee is sure neuer to find them within , and yet hee is the chiefe cause many times that makes them studie . he grumbles at the in gratitude of men , that shunne him for his kindnesse , but indeed it is his owne fault , for hee is too great an vpbrayder . no man put them more to their braine then hee : and by shifting him off they learne to shift in the world . some choose their roomes a purpose to auoide his surprizals , and thinke the best commoditie in them his prospect . hee is like a reiected acquaintance , hunts those that care not for his company , and hee knowes it well enough ; and yet will not keepe away . the sole place to supply him is the butterie , where hee takes grieuous vse vpon your name , and hee is one much wrought with good beere and rhetoricke . he is a man of most vnfortunate voyages , and no gallant walkes the streets to lesse purpose . . a stayed man. is a man. one that ha's taken order with himselfe , and set a rule to those lawlesnesses within him . whose life is distinct and in method , and his actions as it were cast vp before . not loos'd into the worlds vanities , but gathered vp and contracted in his station . not scatter'd into many pieces of businesses , but that one course he takes , goes thorough with . a man firme and standing in his purposes , nor heau'd off with each wind and passion . that squares his expence to his coffers , and makes the totall first , and then the items . one that thinkes what hee does , and does what he sayes , and forsees what he may doe , before he purposes . one whose ( if i can ) is more then anothers assurance , and his doubtfull tale before some mens protestations . that is confident of nothing in futurity , yet his coniectures oft true prophecies . that makes a pause still betwixt his ●are and beleefe , and is not too hasty to say after others : one whose tongue is strung vp like a clocke till the time , and then strikes , and sayes much when hee talkes little . that can see the truth betwixt two wranglers , and sees them agree euen in that they fall out vpon . that speakes no rebellion in a brauery , or talkes bigge from the spirit of sacke . a man coole and temperate in his passions , not easily betraid by his choller : that vies not oath with oath , nor heat with heat : but replies calmly to an angry man , and is too hard for him too . that can come fairely off from captaines companies , and neither drink nor quarrell . one whom no ill hunting fends home discontented , and makes him sweare at his dogs and family . one not hasty to pursue the new fashion , nor yet affectedly true to his old round breeches . but grauely handsome , & to his place , which suites him better then his tailor . actiue in the world without disquiet , and carefull without miserie : yet neither ingu●●● in his pleasures , nor a seeker of businesse , but ha's his houres for both . a man that seldome laughes violently , but his mirth is a cheerefull looke . of a compos'd end setled countenance , not set , nor much alterable with sadnesse or ioy . he affects nothing so wholy , that hee must bee a miserable man when he loses it : but forethinks what will come hereafter , and spares fortune his thanks and curses . one that loues his credit , not this word reputation ; yet can saue both without a duell : whose entertainments to greater men are respectfull not complementary , and to his friends plaine not rude . a good husband , father , master : that is without doting , pampring , familiarity . a man well poys'd in all humours , in whom nature shwed most geometry , and hee ha's not spoyl'd the worke . a man of more wisedome then wittinesse , and braine then fancy ; and abler to any thing then to make verses . finis . characterismi: or, lentons leasures expressed in essayes and characters, neuer before written on. by f.l. gent. lenton, francis, fl. - . approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : - (eebo-tcp phase ). a stc estc s this keyboarded and 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(eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : ) characterismi: or, lentons leasures expressed in essayes and characters, neuer before written on. by f.l. gent. lenton, francis, fl. - . [ ] p. printed by i[ohn] b[eale] for roger michell, london : . dedication signed: fra. lenton. printer's name from stc. signatures: a b-g¹² h⁴. the first two leaves and the last leaf are blank. running title reads: characters. reproduction of the original in the henry e. huntington library and art gallery. created by converting tcp files to tei p using tcp tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between and available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the , texts created during phase of the project have been released into the public domain as of january . anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. % (or pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf- unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p , characters represented either as utf- unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng characters and characteristics -- early works to . - tcp assigned for keying and markup - apex covantage keyed and coded from proquest page images - judith siefring sampled and proofread - judith siefring text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion characterismi : or , lentons leasvres . expressed in essayes and characters , neuer before written on . by f. l. gent. dum viuo , video errorem in humanis , terrorem in libris . london , printed by i. b. for roger michell . . to the right honorable , oliver , lord s t iohn , baron of bletsoe . right noble , amidst the rest of your sports and pleasures i haue presumed to interpose this small volumne of characters vpon certaine subiects , as yet neuer wrote vpon . to which assumption i was led , not by any affectation or conceit , of my selfe , or of these , but from the true knowledge of that innate worth and noblenesse in you , of which the world so much takes notice , that it iustifies me to be no parasite , in that my tongue and heart agrees with that generall fame which is neuer blazed without desert . after some more violent exercise of body ( which though through the pleasure thereof is not felt till ended ) some wearinesse may accurre . these may perhaps minister occasion of mirth to the minde , and giue digestion to your former delights : your honors acceptance of it shall rightly characterize your curtesie ; and your reading it , re-ingage mee to amplifie it with more , and more merry . and though these goe forth in the reare , they may ( if not too much mangled in the combat with criticks ) returne in the front with victory ; which i leaue to the fortune of the day , & your honours fauour , which i shall study to deserue , whilst i liue to be your honors most oblig'd , fra. lenton . to his most lou'd friend m r francis lenton . if loue , not learning may my lines preferre , to front , not grace thy well writ character ; or if a willing minde may plead th' excuse of my vnable , more vnworthy muse ; then take me with thee frank , i meane as well as he , whose lines but few can parallell . and th●… my approbation cannot adde least lustre to thy booke , or make 't be had in more esteeme : or free it from the mew of simon simple , or the senselesse crew : who finding more new characters , will aske , what 's he dares vndertake ▪ so blunt a taske . then master criticke comes , and seemes to snarle , saying this worke onely becomes an earle . yet this i know , thine are so witty , merry , as would haue bin allow'd by ouerberry , had he e're seene 'em : boldly then goe on , well to enlarge , what thou hast well begun . for in despight of blacke-mouth'd calumny thy lines shall li●…e vnto posterity : and after-times may with delightfull pleasures find sportiue mirth in reading lentons leasure●… . thi●…e 〈◊〉 , io●…n 〈◊〉 . the contents . a state politician . a gallant courtier . a young barrister . a commissary . a parasite or flatterer . an vxorious man. a country widdow . a chambermaid . a broke●… citizen . a bawd. a pander . a darling ▪ a lawyers clarke . a farmer tenant . a double benefic'd parson . a schoole-master . a countrey alewife . an aldermans daughter . a prodigall . an vsurer . a broker . a bragadotio . a sempster . a prostitute or whore. a gamester . an host. a common drunkard . an elder brother . a●…●…nnes a court gentleman . a low country souldier . a gentleman-vsher . a cuckold . an informer . a bachelour . an vndershriefe . a drawer . a good husband . a constant man. a iealous man. a desperate man. a true friend . characters . . a state politician , is a great man deepely read in the mysteries of iniquity ; who being wel grounded in the theoricke , assumes the practique as an effect of the cause : one , whose much study hath cald him to more care then conscience , that whatsoeuer by power and proiect he atchieues and accumulates to himselfe , his pretence is still for the good of the common-weale : for the safety whereof he watcheth as a foxe for his prey . forraigne estates are as familiar with him as his owne , for the knowledge whereof he spends much , and gets more . the vulgar honour him more for fear then loue , and either barke , or are silent , as his distance is from them . their popular applause hee esteemes not , but laughes at their enuy in his higher spheare , soaring aboue their capacities by the sides of princes , and seriously contemplating how to carry himselfe in the next charge , being neuer troubled with any alteration , hauing his seuerall postures for all ; for his grauity , his lookes , and his language are neere allide , this austere , that seuere ; for his habit , hee is all ouer furr'd , but seldome or neuer foxt , except at a coronation . in a word , he climes vp with much cost , staggers there with many cares , and commonly falls with more feares , and those that neuer durst libell him , liuing , dare cowardly throw one of iuuenals stones at his graue . . a gallant courtier , is the outside of a statesmā a little more gaily trimd vp , and as he is ●…epleat with internall indowments , so this is compleat with externall complement . hee is a man so courteous , that hee cannot deny you any thing , and so carelesse after his grant , that he will performe nothing . one whom your taylor is much bound to for his new fashion ( which is his prime study ) and he reciprocally for his taylors faith , ( which neuer goes without works ) both which concurre together till the day of account , and then he is deferr'd till doomesday , or else presently paid with a priuilege . hee hath more deuices vpon a new doublet , than ouid had verses , and those as geometricall , as his naturall . he spares for no cost whilest he may be credited ; and when that failes , he fals vpon some full-mouth'd lady , whose marke hath beene long out ; where he stil preyes but seld , or neuer praies for ought but her death . hee is composed onely of two elemens , ayre and fire , leuity and choler , hauing the predominance , wanting water and earth , humidity and solidity , and holds nothing more ignoble than the defect of formality . his barber and his beard doe hold a faire and euen correspondency , and agree aswell as his head with its perriwig , of which , how carefull he is , the doffing his beauer wi●…l discouer , euen from ludgate hill ( if he dares come so nye it ) to chairing crosse , his more secure walke . his congees are so common , that few care for them , and his bodye's most lowly , when his mind 's most lofty : cupid is his key , venus his deuotion , and mercury his messenger , whilst he cornutes lame vulcan : you may smell him before you see him , and see him long enough before you know him . hee is oftentimes his his owne admirer , and thinks himselfe the onely obiect of others , whilst they thinke him their abiect . in briefe , his tongue and his heart are most commonly as great strangers , as his hands and his actions , or his large promises & lame performances . . a young barrester , is one call'd too ▪ t by reading , though he neuer read for 't , and hath tane his leaue of littleton before he was wel acquainted with him . at his first entrance he hath a very good conscience , and therefore loues the chancery better than the common-law , aswell for the effect of the one , as the defect of the other ; where he liues by perpetuall motion ( as not yet ripened , for those more harsh and ambiguous demurres and arguments ) and subsists by the same , till by stratagem in law , he hath surprised some aldermans daughter , by putting the case rightly , who through the greenenesse of her youth and face , is horne mad for a man of his profession . his very calling writes him esquire , though his scutchion sometimes cannot speak him gentleman , except by way of admittance . hee is very open-handed till his fee hath clutcht it , and then he 's open mouth'd , and will be sure to speake more than toth' purpose , whilest his silly client reioyceth as much in the very tone of his tongue , as the substance of his talke , be-being both ●…quall to his capacity . his clients are his soule , and when they faile , he expires , onely here 's the difference , hee prouides not for his soule , but his soule for him ▪ hee 'll speake more in a moment , than do in a month , and warrant your cause according to his reading ; till your hearings proue his holidayes , and your trials his experience . his ambition is to climbe to the ●…eat of iustice , but is loth to be blinde in the place , lest hee should not see those pictures his soule takes pleasure in , but in the meane time , hee is striuing to be put in commission , where perhaps you may see him the next quarter-sessions . . a commissary , is a man much giuen to libels , or rather libels to him , and ( which is much ) is priuiledg'd to receiue them , and proues a gainer by the hand . hee trades much in will and inuentory ( the relicks of the dead ) which he files with much felicity , and howeuer the executour ●…peeds , hee is still of the taking hand : he lookes not so much to the performance of the will , as the payment of his fees , and visits the wife of the next vicarage . hee hath many foule cases layd open before him , and hee as soundly canuasses them ; by the which he acquires a faire purse , and a foule conscience . basterdy and bawdery are his chiefe rents , and incontinency and whoredome his farmers ; and ( which is strange ) he liues by that , for which all men dye , ( sinne. ) hee hath many visitations , which hee beares very patiently , in regard of the sweet cordials accrewing therby . he is your hasty youths , and and yonger scollers oracle , who daily worship him for his speedy licence , that they may both presently enter into their pulpits , and he into their purses . hee is one that shall excommunicate you , ipso facto , for fiue shillings , and absolue you immediately , ex officio , for three shillings foure pence . in briefe , he is the bishops mouth , the bawds eare , the sinners absolution , the whores purgatory , the diocesan mountebanke , the church-wardens terror , the parsonages friend , and the parsons superuisor , with whose wife i now leaue him till the next visitation . . a parasite or flatterer , is salomons abiect , debar'd euery wise mans table , not so much for his gluttony , as his glozing . he is ingendred by pride , hatcht vp by arrogance , and perpetually fostred by fooles ( the anuils on which hee still beates ) who by reason of their insensibility obserues not his insinuation , but are presently puft vp with those peacockestayles he stickes in their foreheads . greatnesse neuer goes without this applausiue puppet , and goodnesse neuer can abide him , there being a kinde of antipathy between them . his tongue is in the eare of euery affectator , and then neuer further from his owne heart . folly and popularity are his prime obiects , and he is still present where they predominate . he cannot be truely generous , for he is a slaue to others mens humours , a thing contrary to a true birth , or a true heart . his greatest pride is , that he onely thinkes other men beleeue him : his greatest pleasure that hee can laugh at them in 's sleeue ; and his greatest profit is picking of thankes : hee hath more wit then wisedome , and more garru●… , then grace . he is a great obseruer of mens fancy that hee ma●…●…it his lyre to that tune . all men in the ●…nd hate him , and hee goes out like a snuffe . his conscience accuses him that hee hath praisd men more then god , and consequently got praise of neither ; which hath so deiected him , that hee drops off like a greene apple in a great winde , and by his bruse growes rotten at core , and so cozens the next costardmonger . an vxorious man , is one who hath left all the world for a woman , and all women for a thing called a wife , with which idole , he is so effeminately bewitcht , that hee forgets his annuall worship at ierusulem , and is tied vp with a golden calfe at home . this dalilah is his deuotion , this ruler his religion , this eue , the onely edge to his appetite , and he will tast any fruit she tempts him to , ( though sower graps ) this man is neuer his owne man , but in thought , for his actions intended , are either diuerted and writhed by her simple will , or els wholly violated and broken by her supposed wisedome ; he can be no good common wealths man , he is so confinde to her cannopy , nor a good church man , he is so tyde to her cannons , nor a wise man , to be vanquisht with her willfullnes : hee thinks himselfe as safe in her sauours as adam in his first forme , and hopes to merit olympus , by making a goddesse of diana ; the which hee is assured by his faith in her faire promises , and his obedience to her sacred oracles : in fine , hee is good for nothing but to multiply mankinde , and consequently , sinne , and ( which is fittest for him ) not when he purposeth , but when shee pleseth . he cares for no body but her , nor any body at all for him ; so that he may liue quietly without company , and dye in his owne folly without a funerall . . a country widdow . is a broken ribbe of adam , turned loose into the world againe , and is searching for a new bonesetter , and newly polishing her selfe for a second edition , or more faire impression . shee hath lately beene somewhat mortified in memory of her deceased , but hath suddenly gathered vp her crummes , and giuen her selfe out a brace of hundreds more then ere his estate was worth , besides his debts and legacies , wheras her validity proportionable can scarce absolue those . she carrieth her selfe smooth , demute , and familiar , yet at a certaine distance , lest too much familiarity should breed contempt , and then she may cough long enough for one to court her . if shee be young she is capable of copulation , and the sooner caught in that coniunctiue ceremony ; if past her prime , the more libidinous , subtile , and dangerous , hauing a double wil , the one from her deceased , the other from her widdowhood , by the last of which you may perhaps buy a pigge in a poke ; if shee be wealthy , all your comfort is , she is her owne woman , and not subiect to the auaricious counsell of peeuish parents , who care not though the girle cuckold him , so the carle be scraping . she is an obiect to many , and it 's well if but one light on her . she hath already tasted of mandraks , and likes the fruits so well , that shee longs to graft more i●…ps vpon that stocke . she is now trim'd vp for the next faire , where if you can bargaine for her , you may ride her home with a twinde thread , and then make the best of an ill bargaine . . a chambermaid , hath her proper denomination from the place where s●…e is most conuersant and couchant ( the chamber ) and is the carefull polisher thereof , the obsequious pinner of her lady , and the true louer of her taylor , euer since the curious cutting of her last wastecoate , who ( with his goose ) hath made such impression in her , that her ladies closet is thereby impouerisht , and her marmelet melted in his mischieuous mouth . the beds and she are a kinde of relatiues , where by reason of her neere alliance and familiarity , shee catcheth manya fal ( to which she is subiect ) but is seldome hurt by it in regard of their softnesse . shee is the instrumentall cause of her ladies curiosity , and pride , the originall as also the secret and soft shutter of the portall , when her lady would be priuate . sowing and starching is her prime occupation , and the close-stoole her greatest slauery . shee is a creature commonly very courteous , and may proue an honest woman , if she be not puft vp in the place . she is the patient endurer of her ladies peeuishnesse , which perhaps may purchase her a paire of old silke stockings , which she prouidently layes vp till the next summer , & then dernes them for the wedding day . watching and warming of cloathes in a short time wrinckles her , and the blossome once blasted the fruit faileth . the best shee can acquire is but master of the maydes , and the worst that can befall her is but footing of stockings . . a broken citizen , is one whose hornes are growne so great that hee is asham'd they should be seene , and is therefore glad the gates a●…e wide enough to giue way to his passage , of which he takes his vale for a certaine season to some finister sanctuary ; where hee lyes at racke and manger , whilest his too credulous creditors are gnawing their thumbes . by his subtill carriage hee wrought himselfe into their credit , of set purpose , shortly to bee out of their company ; which , with acute language hee hath at last accomplisht ; and now they may go look this bush-lane needle in a bottle of hay . hee absents himselfe so cunningly , that they shal not so much as heare of him , till they haue spent their galls , and then by degrees he giues way to their inquiry with a letter from ireland , or some place farre remote , whilest , ( though disguis'd ) hee is at the next tauerne to them ; obseruing how like so many kites they lay wayt for the chicken in the wood-pile . hee hath beene a man of a large tongue , & short haire , which two haue beene great helpes to his game . hee is a man now so well lyn'd with the coyne acquired by his former impostures , that hee is in a quandary whether to giue them a desired composition of twelue pence i' th pound , or to abiure the city for euer . his conscience ( as false as the light he once deceiu'd by ) tells him , they that lost it may spare it , and hee that winnes ought may weare it , whilst hee spends it worse than hee got it , and must certainly pay for it , he knowes not how soone . hee now discouers the secrets of silly tradesmen , and l●…ughs at his sleight in his higher spheare . hee hath now admitted himselfe amongst the multitude of man-slayers , and feeds them for feare , and his owne folly for fashion . milford lane , and ram-alley are his castles , ca●…heerd captaines , his companions ; souldiers his ●…onductors ; and serjeants and bayliff●… , his perpetuall dreame and terror ; and in that little ease i 'll leaue him , till hee hath spent that he hath stolne , and then his last refuge is ludgate , where his doleful voyce giues more delight than pitty to his repining creditors . . an old bawd , is a menstruous beast , engendred of diuers most filthy excrements , by the stench of whose breath the ayre is so infected , that her presence is an ineuitable contagion , her eyes more poysonous than the basilisk ; her nose ( if any ) most pestilently pocky , her tongue more subtile than the hyena , who stil howles in some fained voyce for the deuouring of innocents , one who hath damnably destroyed her own soule , and is diuelli●…hly deuising the destruction of others . shee is the mother of impudency , the dungeon of diseases , the daughter of lust , and the most obscene sister of scurrilous and lasciuious delights . an excellent astronomer , for by the ratling of her bones shee can discouer the alteration of the weather ; fooles haue fatted her vp to the day of slaughter , and knaues are ready to cut her throat for it . marshals , beadles , and constables are her continual terrour , whom by much siluer , shee perswades to silence ; silly maids , vntam'd youths , and sullen wiues are her cheefe marchandizes , and she sells sinne on both hands at a high rate . adulterate beauties , and counterfeit complexions , are her alluring baits to deceiue the simple , and all 's fish that comes to net with her ; all the credite shee hath got by her abomination , is carting without cōmiseration & casting of loathsome things at her defiled carkasse . diseases at last dry vp her marrow , and ●…rottennesse so shiuers her , that shee drops asunder on a sudden , and wretchedly dyes without pitty ; for whom , a christian buriall is too courteous . . a pander , is the spaniel of a bawd , who fetcheth and carrieth at her pleasure , and is the most seruile slaue of basenes . for halfe a crowne he will be your seruant all day , and for the whole cut your throat at night . his lookes are commonly silly and dei●…cted but you will finde his heart deceitfull , and his actions damnable . hee will fawne vpon those hee feares , and roughly misuse those he can master . he liues at all distances and postures , one while tapster , or tobacco seller , otherwise strumphusle●… ; now brother , then cozen , sometimes master of the house ; yet all this while , rogue , theefe , and pimpe . hee is impudency it selfe , for if the officer approcheth , he sweareth and forsweareth , is the case shall require . hee is much subiect to kicking ▪ and is often basted , together with his bawd. he walkes in perpetuall darknesse , and is still in danger of the watch , and cannot be otherwise than the abortiue issue of some adulteresse , his nature is so consonant to theirs . he is spu'd out of all honest company , and fostred with none but fornicators . he liues thus till bridewell hath possest his bitches , and the pox possest him . and then with a meagre countenance , and creeping threed-bare cloke , hee creepes from bawd to bawd for a crust to comfort his crazy carkasse , and at last in his owne ordure , most desperately and distractedly dyes in a ditch , a graue already digged for him . . a countrey girle or darling , is a raw , young , and greene maid , newly arriued at the hauen of discretion , and yet farre from the port thereof , one that thinkes more than she speaks , speaks more than she vnderstands , and vnderstands more than shee dares expresse . shee is prankt vp like a peacocke by her doting parents , and is the precious pearle of her mothers pride , for the crow thinks his owne bird the fairest , and they thinke their goose a swan . she is a babby trimd vp for euery feast and faire , where the plough-drag salutes her with two kisses , two penny-worth of peares , and a two-penny red ribbon , which hath so rauisht the girle , that shee gads after him with much greedinesse , and presently puts finger i' th eye for his absence . shee is very to vardly and tractable , the cause that her father so feares his horse-keeper , lest hee should steale her and his horse together . shee is one whom no desert can gaine , nor gentry obtaine , except he can first plough with that heiffer , and then hee may finde out the riddle , for she is falne in loue with an acrestaffe , and longs to handle it . shee is her fathers hope , and her mothers happinesse , the paragon of that progeny , though the coursest in that countrey . if they dare trust her , she is sent to bee sold at the next market , together with her basket of butter , where at the crosse her ●…impring will scarce giue her leaue to tell the price on 't . and thus i leaue her still longing for something that her friends like not , and in that onely consists her wisdome , that she will please her fancy sooner than her friends . . a lawyers clarke , is a spruce youth somewhat aboue the degree of a scriuener , much conuersant amongst sheets & skins , subiects he works vpon much , & is a kind of a iugler , who by slight of hand , will suddenly make a cleanly conueyance of your estate , that you shall not afterwards need to study how you may prodigally spend it ; and he will so contriue it by president , that he will make you an example whilest you liue . hee is one who will doe more with a gray goose wing , than euer robin hood could doe , and is very dangerous , if once hee puts his hand too 't . foure pence a sheet hath furnisht him with a new suit , and he somtimes executes the place of a gentleman-vsher vpon his mistris . hee is a man generally of no solidity , except by his much costiuenes with continuall sitting , yet a man of great study , insomuch it hath so stupified him , that he lookes for his pen when it stickes in 's ●…are . littleton is too obscure for his capacity ; and not one amongst forty of them can reade law french. he is commonly a good fellow , and loues to gaine no more than hee meanes to spend . hee hath a peece of iudas his office , ( the carriage of the bagge , ) which were it full of peeces , as it is of papers , hee might chance to shew his master a tricke for 't . hee aspiers sometimes to his masters daughter , but being stau'd off there , hee choppes vpon the chambermaid , and there stickes fast . he hath lookt for preferment till age hath dimm'd his eye-sight , and is now endeuouring to goe clarke of a band in the next voluntary voyage ; which if hee speed , the leagre so belouzeth him , that hee returneth with much humility , and poorely prostrates himselfe for a halfe-penny a sheet . he is a meere clarke without any other quality , and hath seldome any commendation , but hee writes a faire hand . . a carle , or farmer tenant , is a kinde of a mole , perpetually deluing in the earth for his dinner ; and is of as great iudgement as aesops cocke , esteeming his corne more then precious stones . he is a fellow of a very great stomacke , which his landlord can quaile , sooner then his poore dinner pacifie . and is somewhat of the nature of a hogge , looking still downward wh●…st hee chawes and gathers the acornes , not knowing the tree whence they fell : and seldome looks vp , but for a shower . he is the wretched modell of our forefathers misery , and that which was adams curse , is his calling ▪ sorrow , the sweat of his face , and a barren field , are ▪ his wrackt rents and reuenewes , and a griping landlord his intollerable griefe . yet hee riseth early with the larke , and whistles ( as hee thinkes ) to the tune shee sings , when his broken notes demonstrate nothing but musicke for a horse , and according to that whistle is his singing of psalmes ( the cause of so much discord in the countrey quire. ) when hee tils the earth , he tallowes it with his owne grease , and endures it the better for the dunging of his ground . his haruest is his greatest happines , which is more welcome to him then the sabbath , and in reaping time hee wisheth none , lest he should loose more in that one day , then get in the other sixe : for though he acknowledgeth godlinesse to be great gaine , yet his greatest is his graine . he is the soyle on which all citizens and idle folke feede , the very drudge and doghorse of the world , one that dares not eate the fruit of his labour lest his rent should fall short , and he be turn'd forth of his toylesome vineyard . his hands are his lands , his pleasures reall paines , his crops carking cares ; his food , the bread o●… sorrow , his cloathes the skinnes of his outworne cattell , and taglocks of his trauell his whole life a continuall toyle , and his worke an endlesse ▪ warfare . his greatest comfort is his lawfull calling , and his moyling in the earth , a meanes of his mortification . euery clodde he turnes ouer is the emb●…me of his misery . and his colter and ●…hare the emblemes of his graue , the which hee is alwayes digging . . a double benefic't parson , is a master of arts or crafts , who by fauour and coyne , hath caught a degree a yeere too soone , and now lyes for all the liuings he can lay hold of . hee hath already rung his bels for two parsonages , and not sufficiently prefer'd by those , is putting in for a prebend or two to make himselfe more compleat in his taffeta tippet , and more curious cassacke . simony and he are correlatiues , and that which hee obtaines by simony , he retaines by subtilty . his degrees giue him a doctor ( tho a very dunce ) and his deuice is now for the next deanery , to which musicke , money must be the master of the organs , if hee meanes to sing in that quire. hee hath two pulpits and one sermon , which he preacheth at both his parishes at his primer induction , and then a couple of silly curates read out the rest of his incumbency for the twentieth part of his parsonages . hee is one who hath the cure of others soules , and yet ( by his account ) cares not for his owne ; and ( the more 's the pitty ) is clad with the fleece , without feeding the flocke . his pulpets and he are so falne out , that they bate one another , and 't were no matter if he had falne out of them long agoe . his greatest study is how hee may wracke his tythes to a higher rate , and then feed at ease like a boare in a frank. he 's very fearefull of another parliament , lest one of his liuings should fall short of his reckoning . he hath fisht ●…ill hee hath fild his bagge , then sits downe to fil's belly , and lends little or naught to the distressed . hee is one whom god hath falne out with for his too little teaching , and his neighbours for too much tything : he will sooner conuert the gleabe into a pasture then a soule to his master , & is of this opinion , that if hee hires one , his duty is perform'd . he is the cause●… of so many poore schollers , and his ouer ▪ bidding , the debarring of the●… gifts , or forestaller of their markets : and yet he is so 〈◊〉 inclin'd , that hee curseth 〈◊〉 laity who possesse impropri●…tions , and is now grown so sat with pleasure & pride , that nothing will satisfie him but a bishopricke , or a graue ; in the last of which , he is daily wisht , that some man of more deserts , might climbe to that place hee so seldome came neere , ( the pulpit . ) . a young schoolmaster , is a new commenc'd bachelour , who hath suckt so long at the paps of his nurse , ( the vniuersity ) that shee hath almost pin'd him : and therefore his fortunes denying him the degree of master , in a resolution leaues his nurse to rocke the cradle her selfe , and boldly aduentures into the broad world , ( like a lapwing with it's shell o' th crowne ) with lilly in 's head , and ramus in 's hand , where in some ▪ small village hee first excrciseth the art of a pedagogue , for instruction of infants . two pence a week , by the rurals , is proffered him at his first entrance , for the literature of little primmer boyes , and foure pence a weeke for accidences , besides his sundayes dinner , by turne , together with the plaine gifts of some of their plainer mothers ; by the which , hee atchieueth to the annuall pension of ten pound sterling . he is one still exercising the rod of correction , and the greatest part of his reuenue , is the fees of tender mothers for sparing his rod , and hating their children . he doth all things in order , for hee hath now taken orders , and beginnes to peepe into a pulpit ▪ with a pocket-sermon ; and as that takes , is either animated or discourag'd , to proceed to a vicarage . hee is one commonly of more desert than respect , and often , for his good parts , surpasseth their lazy parson . if he scapes a free-schoole , he may light vpon a free holders daughter , and her loue may procure him a library . a lecture read to her may enlarge his patrimony , and a licence confirme . hope and patience are his props , and his perswasion is still , that the seuen liberall sciences wil notsee him want . a free-schoole lecture or vicarage is his next ayme , and if all these faile , a scholler , by his industry , may soone bee fit for any thing . . a countrey alewise , is a subtill creature , who seeming to bee clad with simplicity , and to be as plain as her poorer petticote , by her short courtsies and rurall carriage , will draw till both you and her barrell be both dry together ; and may be term'd the water-worke of iniquity , or the vnctious engine of sophisticate and adulterate ale. tossing of iugs , pots , and cans are her ioy , and the froth the best part of her gaine . the assise of bread and beare is as hateful to her as a promoter , and yet all is not well except he be in with her ; and ( which is worse ) she is forced to make the disners drunke once a month to conceale her cunning . shee is the receptacle for all commers , and whatsoeuer be the company , their coyne shall bee alike to her . her purse fils as their bellies , but empties not so soone , for it seldome exonerats its selfe till the maulster appeares , and then farwell forty-pence . misreckoning and shee are sworne sisters , and her owne daughter is forc'd to lie for 't . drunkennesse and quarrellings are her daily ▪ guests , and mischiefs , oft-times , the murtherer of her signe ; and then the barrels are ill entreated for their so liberall contribution . forlorn swaggerers are her greatest sorrow , for they 'll score against her will , and then wip't out with a wet singer . shee hath fill'd her purse by forfeiting her recognizance , ( which the clarke of the peace will empty with his ●…ees . ) as drunkards encrease , so doth her tipping ; and the tap and she are tost vp together . she loues tinkers and ped●…ers for their true payment ●…f her , and hates nothing more than a puritan , or a parson that perswades from drinking . shee is annually forced to purchase a new licence , that her launted liquor may runne more warrantable . oathes , idlenesse , and infinite absurdities are begotten and fostered at her alebench , and poore ale-knights wiues and children doe perpetually curse her . . an aldermans daughter , is the peeuish spawne of a peremptory citizen ; now ready at the point of preferment , and is highted vp for that purpose , and is the purer mettle of the miser her father ; who , not long since , descended from the loynes of some lubbardly farmer , and is now by giddy fortune surd all ouer , and in the vanity of his spirit lookes asconce if you misse the title of master alderman . this peacocke , his daughter , is one of the painted pageans of the city , who dares not look vpon her splea foot for crushing the sets of her ruffe with her chinne , and weares her coat the longer to conceale them , yet ( such is her pride ) cannot forbeare the holding them vp for her silk stockings sake . she is grown to that height , that she scornes to know her fathers courser kindred ; nay more , longs so for honour , ( the idoll of fooles ) that she disdaines a bird of her owne feather ( a cockney ) though a foolish knight ; and ambitiously ( through the conception of her coyne ) aspires to the court , and thinks a lord little enough for her . and though she be crooked both in mind and body , yet confidently mainetaines , that gold makes all things strait , for which she knowes her father hath not str●…tch'd his conscience in vaine . she is the prettiest . parrat her mother h●…h hatoh'd , and in her discourse ( which is neuer solid ) will speake non-sense with much celerity ▪ and wil passe by it without blushing , or notice of it . she with the french-hood her mother , doe pace with much pompe and equipage to the spittle , to the rehearsall sermons , where she retaines only two senses , a wandring eye , and a liquorish pallate ; seeing of strange obiects , and tasting of sweet-meats , with which , ●…er pu●…'d handkerche is repleat . her mind is much set vpon court masques , the cause of her sleighting the city , where sometimes shee hath participated of such curious cates , that the pleasure of thē will not yet out of her pallate , which makes her in pensiue sort sollicite her parents to giue her her owne choyce ; and howeuer , shee will be a lady , though shee lose all for 't . if her mother once call her madam , she is made for euer , for it is the heighth of her-ambition to bee the top of her kindred , lest her betters should take place of her . her title , and attire are her onely idols , with which she is hurried in a coach with six horses , to the heighth of her pride , ( which must haue a fall ) and then perhaps she may be left with a litter . . a prodigall , is a profuse fellow puft vp with affectation , and nusled in the same by vaineglory ( the finall end his smaller wit and thinner skull aymes at ) towards which all his vntoward actions tend . hee deemes all his equals , his inferiours , especially those he most accompanies , amongst which hee thinkes himselfe the best man for paying all the reckoning , which they incontinētly without grudging grant him , lest their very offer should prouoke him to indignation , at least to oaths , to which he is very apt . he is neuer in loue with mony but when he wants it , and when he hath it , he sleights it . he is one of a very yeelding nature , insomuch , that if you praise ought of his that he affects , he presently bestowes it on you , scorning to be so base as to stand a begging . nothing troubles his soule so much as to be last in a new fashion , or the least in company when hee is so accoutred . his carriage is very courteous , yet somewhat quil●…ed with singularity ( the secret pride of prodigals , ) fooles are his admirers , and knaues his soothers , whilst hee forgets himselfe to remember them , and neuer thinks of shutting the stable-doore till the steed be stolne . his greatest bragge is , hee hates co●…etousnesse , not dreaming how in the meane time he imbraceth the contrary extreame vice . hee spends with such confusion , that his supposed friends and associates doe willingly forget his courtesies , and is of such sublimity of spirit , that he neuer lookes so low as hogs , til he eats husks with them , and then the trough proues his touchstone . all men behold him with an ( alas ! t is pitty ) whilst few or none supply his pouerty which pursues him like an armed man. he is at last o'retane like a butterfly in a storm , & left by all those that seem'd to loue him , and ( me thinks ) in anguish of spirit ●… heare him crosse the proueth and say , better is a penny in one's purse , than a courtly friend . . an vsurer , is an old fox clad in a lambskinne , who hath preyd so long abroad , that hee hath feather'd his nest for his time , and now sits close in his denne , and feedes securely vpon his former stealths . and though the prouerbe saith , ill gotten goods neuer prosper , yet it tailes with him , for his golden tree florisheth and croppe increaseth what weather soeuer comes . and if old time lends him but yeeres and dayes still , hee cares not , though hee giue time to others , as if he had it to spare . gold and siluer are his idols or images , which he hides as close as rachel did her fathers ; he keepes them prisoners vnder locke and key , till bils and bonds giue security for their safe returne , with another petty impersonall idoll , cald interest . his greatest mistery is the particular knowledge of each petitioners estate , who solicite him for money , which by secret intelligence hee knew better sometimes then the borrowers themselues , which if hee feares , hee fals off till they finde security to fill vp his mouth . his perpetuall meditation is vpon the future dayes of payment , which he punctually obserues , hoping the missing of a day may make a forfeiture , and hauing law for 't , let conscience goe to the diuel . he is grown very subtill in his trade , prying into the possessions of young heires , whose parents by debts and legacies haue impouerisht , & if he can but catch them in a calfe-skin , he is cocke-sure ; for by such mortgages , his mony so eats , that thereby hee soone atchieues fee-simple , for by many such calfe-skins , he is able to cloathe himselfe in sables . he seldome furnisheth men at the first entreaty , though the security be sufficient , but will procrastinate you for a weeks intermission , pretending in the meane time to borrow it for you ; which borrowing , attracts brokage ( the yonger brat of vsury . in his trade aboue all others , you must both pray and pay , and yet nere haue thankes for your custome : commonly hee dares scarce eate of his abundance for diminishing the stocke ; and but for cold , would goe naked , to saue cost : his very habit wil discouer him from top to toe , and his leaner chaps , his pinched carkasse . he is still counting his chickins before they are hatcht , whilst his owne day of account befals him vnawares . hee neuer sang the fifteenth psalme with a true heart , which troubles his conscience on his death-bed , and may iustly make him feare hee hath lost more treasure then ere he traded for . . a broker , is a forlorne , or bankrupt tradesman , who hath diued into diuers sorts of mercatory deceits , and findes none so sweete as this mischieuous mystery of brokery , ( the blacke art of dishonesty . ) hee is the receptacle for theeuery , and a vent for much villany . there is a reciprocall kindnesse betwixt him and a rogue , and wer 't not for filshing , his trade would faile . rather than not be trading , hee will descend to petty larceny , or any knauery to gaine a penny . pawns are his perpetuall practice , for which ( of what kind soeuer ) hee neuer lends aboue halfe the value , setting a peremptory day for their redemption , with six pence for the bill , and interest treble the statute in the hundred , vpon their redemption , which he seldome feares , for hee knowes the parties to be no such pay-masters . hee workes much vpon pouerty and necessity , and by his vnlawfull interest , oft-times eates out the price of that they were full sorry to part with . he confidently walkes by his old remnants , for all commers , sitting at the receit of all ill custome . coozeners are a great part of his customers , and cut-purses his coadiut●…rs . his chiefest knauery is the alteration of the property , that the discription of the deceiued , may not find out the deceit . hee is a backe friend to the citty , the scum of tradesmen , a sosterer of theft , and a palpable staine of the suburbs . long-lane , & london-wall may yet embrace him , ( to the great wrong of newgate ) ●…ll some further law reforme it , for the receiuer is as bad as the theefe , and the enticing cause of stealth , of which many accuse him ; and if he be so impudent as to deny it , tiburne may shortly proue it , which dispatcheth many more deseruing . . a thraso or braggadotia , is a boysterous fellow in a buffe-coat , swelling like ●…olus , in windy words , whose tongue is still applauding himselfe , and detracting from others ; and by grim lookes and sterne language idolizeth his owne igno minious actions . one that makes all his frayes with his vnctious tongue , and then is forc'd sometimes ( vn willingly ) to maintaine and defend them by his timerous hands , or to auoid them by her treacherous feet . his valor is daring and affrighting words , which hee foameth out with such a forced fury , that you would thinke him in earnest , and so hee would be , saue that his heart giues his tongue the lye , which it as obediently puts vp , as hee will your blowes ; for hold but his fained choller vp to its feeble height , and begin but where hee ends , and hee 'll quake like an asp●…n leafe , or grow so flegmaticke and coole , that ●…e will take your kickes for courtesies , and your corrections , for good mis-constructions , yet by this rough way hee often carries the conquest amongst cowards , whose smallest satisfaction , vpon any cause of duell , he suddenly entertains with inward ioy , lest persisting in his peremptorinesse , he should force them but to offer defence , of which he is is very fearefull . and if contrary to his intent , hee chanceth by his austerity , to incurre a quarrell ( of which he is very cautelous ) it 's enough to put him into a quartaine ague , and his temerity is suddenly turn'd to timidity ▪ that little valour which hee hath , i must needs confesse is true , because it 's link'd with discretion ; for , i 'le warrant you , hee 'll strike none ●…ut those he knowes will not resist : hee is a schoole-boy well learnt in this , that hee knows who he can master . in briefe , he is one that would be valiant , but for beating ; and being beaten , esteemes himselfe the better man , in that hee aduentur'd it . and may be compar'd to a tempest , that blusters a while , and is suddenly silent ; or to a blazing candle , that flutters till it extinguisheth , and then stands there stinking . . a sempster shopkeeper , is a feminine creature , furnisht with the finest ware , making her greatest gaine of sindon , or fine linnen ; transforming it into seuerall shapes for that purpose , and may bee call'd the needle-worke purle of prettinesse . shee is very neatly spruc'd vp , and placed in the frontispice of her shop , of purpose , ( by her curious habit ) to allure some custome , which still encraseth and decreaseth as her beauty is in the full , or the wane . shee hath a pretty faculty in presenting herselfe to the view of passengers , by her roling eyes , glancing through the hangings of tiffany and cobweb-lawne , that the trauellers are suddenly surprized , and cannot but looke backe , though but to view babbies in her face , and in affection to her comelinesse , must needs cheapen her commodity , where they are wrapt into a bargaine by her beauty , and doe kisse the nurse for the childs sake , which shee kindely accepts , and desires them as they like that , she may haue more of their custome . in her trade ●…ee is much troubled with stitches ; amongst which , backe-stitch is the most ordinary , easie , and pleasant to her ; and if you cannot bargaine for her ruffes in her ●…op , shee will fit you with ch●…ce at your chamber , so you pa●… her well for her paines : she is well acquainted with hemming too , which sometimes makes her leaue her needle to drinke a cup of canary , to breake her stitch ; nor is shee ignorant of cutworke and pursewo●…k but hath her particular patt●…rnes for them too . her smile , in asking what you lacke , will force you to want somewhat ( though but a paire of sockes ) and by your buying of them , shee may draw you to a shirt , and warm it for you too the next morning . she is the patterne of cleanlinesse , the barbary button of brauery , an exchanger or citty barterer , who cannot want custome so long as her ware 's good . she loues not those that lye naked to saue linnen , and hopes to grow fat by coyning new fashions . and thus i leaue her stitching till her thread be cut , that some younger of her faculty may trade in her turne . . a prostitute or common wh●…re , is a creature in the forme and shape of our mother eue , but of farre more impudency , for as eue desired to hide her nakednesse , this couets to discouer it , making a trade of lust , and a pastime of incontinence . a painted ●…esabell peeping out at her polluted windowes , with a nod or beckon to allure the simple ; and shamelesly saluting those she ne're saw ; and may be compar'd to a iakes , which euery rogue vseth for necessity , and then abhorres it . she is the very compendium and abstract of al basenesse , nor is there any abomination to which she is vnapt . she is hell it selfe whilst she liues vpon earth , and her fire burnes as hot as etna ; to whose flames none can approach without either scorching or consuming . and , ( which is inexcusable and inexpiable ) she makes a calling of accursed copulation , and iustifies it lawfull for her liuelihood . shee is both menstruous and mercenary : lust and murther are her professions , and she cares not who knowes it . her veynes are fill'd with seuerall sorts of poysons , which swell till they burst out into some loathsome excrement ; and then , all that know her , hate her ; and all that lusted after her , now loath her . as shee is an actor of any mischiefe , so , at last , shee becomes the embleme of most extreme misery , who with halfe a nose , and one eye , is making her fa●…all end , and is happy if her torment end here . . an ordinary gamester , is one that hath vsed many tricks and deuices to picke vp a base liuing , but finds no deceit so faire , quaint ▪ and gentil●…'as this slight o●… hand , this nimble god mercury , this cunning trip of a dye . hee is neuer idle , nor euer well imployed , for he is still thinking , plotting , and deuising to find out some foole to coozen . he is more couetous than any vsurer , for he desires but his principal with certaine interest , but this youth cries , haue at all ; and is perpetually shuffling and cutting for aduantage . he is somewhat too prodigall of other mens purses , especially in his habit ▪ which is commonly nea●… , if not braue and gallant ; for his cloathes are his greatest stocke , of which he ought to ●…aue foure sui●…s , two to weare , and two to pawne . the first makes him fit for his betters society ; the second , for supply to his game , if he chāce to be spent : yet hee is very seldome b●… on the gaining hand , especially when hee me●…ts with some profuse yong pre●…tice , or some yo●…g innes a court man that hath lately receiued his quarteridge , for by these deuices hee diues into the pockets of the dissolute , and as he gets it from fooles , so he spends it on queanes . cursing , swearing , and quarrellings , are his nocturnall attendants , which arise from choller , and the losse of coyne , mixed with want of sleepe . hee preposterously alters the course of nature , as he alters the cards ; sleeps all day , and playes all night , onely hee will spare some time to eat and drinke drunk vpon a lucky hand , so that he hath no leasure to pray , except to blind fortune . he neuer thinks on his sinnes , till he hath lost all his substance , and then ( if he hath but grace a little to pause on them ) they flocke so fast from his memory to his mind , that hee cannot endure their grim looks , and therfore chops them and his dice together into his box , and cries , hang sorrow , care will kill a cat. he is one that seldome thriues in his by-path to his end , but his goddesse fortune , at last , playes the whore with him , and leaues himin his greatest extremity : and when hee hath neither to pawne ▪ nor ●…ll , hee is forc'd to borrow twelue pence to pay for his ordinary , and sometimes lyes a weeke together at the mercy of the ordinary . hée ebbes and flowes as the tyde , and nothing makeshim hope any good of himselfe , but his daily change , which perhaps may put him in mind of his last , that death may not catch him dicing , at hazzard , no●… time ( whom he hath much abused ) in fury breake his houre glasse , and so iustly by catastrophe coozen him without care , that hath cheated so many without ▪ conscience . . an host , is most commonly a corpulent fellow , so puft vp with the vnctious element of ale , that his wicket is not wide enough for his passage , and therefore his gates are daily open , lest they should preiudice his guts . his chiefest liuelihood is by the commings in of others , and not of his owne . he is as greedy of guests , as the diuell of soules , and as loath to part with them ; which makes him so often goe gaping to the gate , with a tapster or oastler in 's mouth , gaping for new guests . his thread-bare salutation is alwayes welcome gentlemen , which very words doe winde in the tapster , and consequently a frothy lugge ; and it 's ten to one , but ere you haue ended that , hee is entred into some strange tale , perhaps collected out of his last nights dreame , and as true too , for herein consists his best faculty , in ministring cause of mirth and newes to his weary and welcome trauellers , ( things to which he knowes mans nature is much addicted , ) for he reads more men than bookes , and should be wise , but that his head 's too little for his body : yet if he catch your horse in arrerages , you 'll find him cunning enough , for hee 'll raise his crest so hye , that he 'll make the doore too little for him . he is a great husband in his drinking , for hee is neuer drunk at his own cost , which makes my ostesse beare with the bestowers the better , and perhaps may require them with a nights lodging for 't in a time of need . he cannot subsist without company , tho ●…e be cuckold for 't , and is neuer melancholly but when gallants passe by his gates without tarrying , or tarry till he is forc'd to trust them ; and then he mournes i' th chine for a moneth after . his greatest trouble is , that physicians tell him , hee is subiect to the dropsie , which he will not beleeue til he sees it , and then hee and his purse are purged together of some of their sinister and superfluous gaine . drunkennesse and gluttony are his best guests , of which hee is both entertainer & partaker ; & grows fat by profusenes , & rich by riotous reuellings ; which tho it somtimes disturbs the peace of his little common-wealth , yet the payment of the reckoning workes his pacification , with an ( all 's well that ends well . ) his trade cannot faile so long as men haue mouthes and mony , which he knowes will be till both his lease and hee expire . he is a man of little or no faith , the cause hee doubts his saluation , yet bezils vp and downe , till hee waddles into his winding-sheet , and then goes a iourny he knowes not whether ; and it is wel for him , if at the end of his trauell , hee findes an inne not worse than his owne . . a common drunkard , is a reasonable beast , and a sensitiue man : a strange monster , halfe man , halfe beast , swimming in the ocean of bacchus , and like the whale belching and foming out of his mouth and nostrils abundance of that frothy and vnsauoury element he so lately ingurgitated and swallowed , to the amazement of those smaller fishes that flocke together about him , and is drowned in his owne orbe . one whose essential parts are so obscured ▪ his sense so dulled , his eyes so dazeled , his face so distorted , his countenance so deformed , his ●…oynts so enfeebled , and his whole body and minde so transformed , that hee is become the childe of folly , the derision of the world , and is led like the oxe to the slaughter , as his owne executioner ; yet in all this , his head beares the greater sway , and his feet are not swift to do mischiefe . hi ▪ belly is his god , the which hee ouer-cloyes with drink-offerings , and he is alwayes indebted to my os●…esse , and his belly to him , but he neuer to that , so long as his purse , credit , or shame can make euen with it . he is one that either spues himselfe out , or giues occasion to be spurnd out of all ciuill company . apt to any thing he can stand to execute , ( except vertue ) a meere stranger to him . noddy is his vsuall game , and for ale too ; till hee growes so stupified , that he nods his no●…e vpon the noddy b●…ord , and in reuenge strikes his opposite for the wrong offered , and there the game ends , and fray begins , and then cals for drinke to drinke himselfe friends with them , which friendly cup giues occasion of a second quarrell . hee is the mault-worme of the common-wealth , that suckes in the ioyce of the poore laborer , and leaues his owne family so dry , that they are either parch't with famine , or burnt with thirst . in briefe , hee is the off ▪ scumme of the kingdome , and fit for nought but to set in the front of some vaine and voluntary voyage , lest he should ●…unne away in the rere , and rob his owne parish for euer after . . an elder brother , is oft-times the heire of fortune , and folly , both together , and will still maintaine the prouerbe , fortuna fauet fatuos : and as hee is heire , so is he often executor to his fathers ill-husbandry , which somtimes gripes him so , that it grindes his estate into a smaller quantity , to the diminishing of the mannor , with the appurtenances . hee is so incumbred with such a letany of legacies for the smaller infants , that his wit is almost confounded with the very catalogue of their names , if not wholly distracted in the discharge of their portions ; for his braine generally is but shallow , and consequently is soone empty , & as soone runs ouer . he is not giuen to trauell ( the ambition of sharper wits ) for he is in perpetuall trauell at home , whose staidnesse his low-country brother takes aduantage of , by strong stratagems and designes of war , till ( besides his legacy ) hee hath angled himselfe into coyne enough to purchase him a company , which hee dissolues into dutch ale , and dries it vp with more dul tobacco . his lady with her coach , haue run themselues out of their way , her out of wits , and him out of his money , to vpold her fancy , and the new fashion both together , till the mercer for his money gathers into his estate by morgage ; which , he is as wel able to redeeme , as to build pauls , or rule his wife . his ambition is still to raise his house , though he sels his land , and liue vpon the lease at the rate of the purchase . hee sometimes hath wit or wealth enough to bee made a iustice for the peace , where his lookes bewray his learning , and hee neuer speakes but to some or no purpose . the fates in mercy made such for the releefe of younger mercuries ; and they make the best liuing and worst vse on 't . and thus i leaue him , that often leaues many behinde him to the tyranny of fortune , whilest hee is studying his pedigree . . a yong innes a court gentleman . is an infant , newly crept from the cradle of learning , to the court of liberty , from logicke to law ( both grounded on reason ) from his tutor to the touchstone of wits , where he is now admitted amongst the braue imps of the kingdome , to grow pillars of their countrey . hee is his owne man now , and left to the view of faire vertue , and foule vice , the last of which layes ●…iege to his tender walls , and often makes a shrewd battery , if not quite scales it . he is one that for the most part forgets his errand , and studies poetry instead of perkins . his greatest care now , is how to carry himselfe according to the dancing art , and holds it a greater disgrace to be nonsuit with a lady , than nonplus in the law. he tramples vpon the termes oft , and holds it a base language , about which to busie his more high and transcendent thoghts . when hee aspires once to be a reueller , he then reueales himselfe to the full , and when he should bee mooting in the hall , he is perhaps mounting in the chamber , as if his father had onely sent him to cut capers , and turne in the ayre till his braines bee adled , and makes things meerely for ornament , matters of speciall vse . his recreations and loose expence of time , are his only studies ( as plaies , dancing , fencing , tauerns , tobacco , ) and dalliance , ( which if it be with time , is irreuocable ) and are the alluring baits of ill disposed extrauagants . he is roaring when hee should be reading , and feasting when he should be fasting , for his friday-night supper doth vsually equalize his weekely commons , and it 's to bee scared , he will exceed two meales in the weeke besides , with lac't mutton , for whosoe're payes for his commons , hee 'll fall aboord . he is a youth very apt to bee wrought vpon at his first entrance , and there are fishers of purpose for such young fry . he atchiues much experience before he arriues at the barre , and then ( if euer ) begins to study , when ( for his time ) he should begin to plead . amorous sonnets , warbled to the vyall , are his coelestiall harmony , and if you put a case betweene , you make a great discord . hee loues sense better than reason , and consequently not so fit to make a lawyer . wherefore i could wish his friends to cause him to retire , before hee bee too farre spent , and to marry him before he be starke mad , or a worse mischeefe ( if possible ) befall him . . a low-countrey common souldier , is an idle fellow , as weary of his owne country , as that is of him , and lest hee should be prest some worser voyage , goes voluntary thither to auoyd it . one that hath tired al his friends here , and is now transported thither to trouble the boares there , where hee is now admitted amongst a multitude of mischieuous fellowes , to learne all his postures ; the first of which , is to double his dutch canne till his tongue doubles betweene his teeth , and then to fall out till hee bee beaten into a stomacke . and when that small quantity of coyne hee carried with him , is exhausted , hee simply settles himselfe to foure shillings for eight dayes , which he pol●…tikely powres down his gullet in a day , and then liues by virginian vapour a weeke after , till his stomacke so wambles , that hee is forc'd to lumber his vpper garment to supply his guts , reseruing still the embleme of a souldier ( his sword ) and a plimmouth cloake , otherwise call'd a b●…ttoone . by this time hee is well entred , and will madly strike vpon the least occasion , which his schoole-fellows perceiuing , grow as mild now , as heretofore they were malapert ; and will rather intreat him to drinke away his choller or belt , than force him to the field . hee is now growne to that height of valour , that he runs ouer a dutch froken , or else fals fowle vpon her , to the endangering of her firkin of butter , and more solid cheese , with no small effusion of teares from her fatter ale-tub . these , with many other postures hee hath atchieued too by stratagem , and thinkes himselfe a serjeant maior in these designes . as for his pike & musket he seldome troubles thē , except sometimes vpon meere compulsion to fill vp a company . halfe a yeere hath so qualified him , that for want of supply , he begges for a furlow , and then legs with it , till hee arriues at his owne shore , with two hempteere napkins pind together at his shoulders for a shirt , or else none at all . thus hauing spent his spirits , he pensiuely creepes home with many creepers about him : where , hauing gathred vp his crums , tels such lowd stories of the leagers he lay in , and discourses so superficially of the discipline of warre , that hee amazeth some countrey traine-captaine , insomuch that hee courteously takes him to the alehouse , and giues him a colours for 't , which he gratefully accepts , and vowes hereafter rather to bee hang'd in his owne countrey , than to be abus'd by belgicke counterbuffes . and though he hath not yet left his swearing , yet he hates lying p●…r deiu abominably . and hath gaind so much wit there , that hee thinkes the name of a souldier makes a man valiant , rather than valour makes him a souldier , which hee hath already forsworne . . a gentleman-vsher , is a spruce fellow , belonging to a gay lady , whose foot-step , in times of yore , his lady followed , for hee went before . but now hee is growne so familiar with her , that they goe arme in arme , the cause sometimes that he slights the gentlewoman , and yet , vpon better aduice , pleaseth her againe in secret . hee is a man whose goings and standings ought to bee vpright , except his lady be crooked , and then ▪ t is no matter though hee stoope a little to please her humour . his greatest vexation is going vpon sleeuelesse arrands , to know whether some lady slept well last night , or how her physick work'd i' th morning , things that sauour not well with him ; the reason that oft-times hee goes but to the next tauerne , and then very discreetly brings her home a tale of a tubbe . hee is still forc'd to stand bare , which would vrge him to impatience , but for the hope of being couered , or rather the delight ●…ee takes in shewing his new crisp't hayre , which his barber hath caus'd to stand like a print hedge , in equall proportion . he hath one commendation amongst the rest , ( a neat caruer ) and will quaintly administer a trencher in due season . his wages is not much , except his quality exceedes , but his vailes are great ; insomuch that he totally possesseth the gentlewoman , and commands the chambermaid to starch him into the bargaine . the smallnesse of his legs bewrayes his profession , and feeds much vpon veale to encrease his calfe . his greatest ease i●… hee may lye long in bed , and when hee 's vp , may call for his breakfast , and goe without it . a twelue-moneth hath almost worne out his habit , which his annuall pension will scarcely supply . yet if h●…s lady likes the carriage of him , shee increaseth his annuity . and though shee saues it out o' th kitchin , she 'l fill vp her closet . . a cuckold , is a harmlesse horned creature , but they ●…ng not in his eies as your wittals doe ▪ the reason of his honesty and th' others knauery . he confidently gleans after the reapers , not thinking of stealing , and kindely embraceth the leauings of his neighbors , and is aswell satisfied as if he had the first cut , verifying the old prouerbe , that the eye sees not , the heart greeues not . hee is very indulgent to his spouse , giuing her her own way in al things , lest she should take it ; knowing that women are most apt to forbidden fruit . there is a speciall sympathy , by instinct , betwixt him and his co●…uall or cuckolder , for he alwaies loues him best , his wife likes best ( a speciall token of a patient and true husband . ) hee neuer greeues at his keeping of other mens children , for hee is very charitable that way ; and ( being f●…d with blinde reale ) loues them aswell as if they were his owne . hee palpably possesseth his place in his pew , without the least conceit of pointing at him , and welcomes him to dinner that is i' th dish before him , which his wife passeth by without blushing , praying the gentleman to be his owne caruer , whilst the silly man ne're dreames of her intent , after his decease , or his then departure . he liues a very contented lif●… , and is not troubled with iealousie ( the torment of the mind ) but takes all in good part , so shee bee pleased . hee spends his time thus till hee becomes one of the head-broughs of his parish , and holds his veluet hornes as high as the best of them , he minds his owne affaires more than his wiues actions ; and if he dyes not a pricket , hee may liue to bee an old stagge , a very lordly beast . . an informer , is a spye or knaue errant , that peepes into the breaches of penall statutes , not for loue to the common-wealth , as his owne lucre , amongst which asissa panis & ceruitiae , th' assize of bread and beere are his greatest reuenues , for winking at small faults , and coozening the king and subiects both at once : for though the pretence of his profession be for the fulfilling of the statutes , yet his roguish mystery aymes at his owne ends . he transformes himselfe into seuerall shapes to auoyd suspition of inne-holders , and inwardly ioyes at the sight of a blacke pot or iugge , knowing that their sale by sealed quarts , spoyles his market , and abates his mercinary coozenage . as he is an ▪ informer , so hee should be a reformer , but for his quarterly fees ▪ from tap-houses , for conniuance ; which fees , are the cause of so much froth in the tapster , to recouer that againe of which he was cheated . hee sneakes like a serieant into euery corner to take aduantage , and drinkes vp mens drinke and makes them pay for it . as hee loues no man , so he is hated of all , and is very neere hell when hee is drunke in the celler . hee is the scum of rascality , and the abuser of the king and his exchequer both together ; yet he seldome thriues in his impostures , in regard of his greater sharers , whose vassall and slaue hee is . all men behold him with indignation , and point him out knaue in euery parish , which he willingly puts vp , in hope , one day , to auenge himselfe vpon their purses . his gaine is extortion , which may in time pul both his eares from his head , or dig him a graue vnder the gallowes , which he hath already deserued . . a bachelour , is one that carries a great burthen about him , concupiscence ; to which hee is either giuen ouer , or in perpetuall combate betwixt the flesh and the spirit ; he is neuer quiet in his mind , for he is continually choosing , and commonly as soone dislikes his owne choyce : a great point of folly in him to bee prouok't to any thing either by opinion or purblind passion . he is one whose honesty cannot shelter him from suspition , and imputation of his next neighbour , by reason of his supposed vigour . hee dreames away his best time , and sowes his seed in other mens gardens , ( which they reape and are no gainers by it ) whilest hee hath scarce any left to sowe in his owne . hee thinkes himselfe happy in that hee hath none to care for but himselfe , whilest he cares not at all for his nobler selfe , his soule , and dyes without a vine to his house side , or an oliue plant to his table ; so that posterity shall not behold any of his progeny . hee courts each handsome obiect , his veines being full of venus , and his heart of cupids darts , which in short time so sting him , that happily ere long , he salutes hymen , and proues an honest man : for the obtaining whereof in his former estate he was farre out of his way , except made an eunuch , and consequently been hated by the softer sex for euer after . . an vndershriefe , is an actiue fellow , begot by the statute for a yeere , and then his name extinguisheth , though he be sharer in anothers , the next yeere after . hee is the feare and terror of all debtors , as also the free entertainer of the creditour , who daily sollicites him with coyne , to be expeditious in his catching , which hee discreetly entertaines with protestation of performance , whilest a fee on the contrary forceth him to neglect , knowing that thogh delaies proue dangerous , yet all makes for his aduantage in the end . he is the birth , life , and death of the law . the birth is the first processe ; the life the execution , and the death the stopping the breath of the execution ; by giuing notice to those that neuer requite him with nothing . hee is one subiect to much danger , and ought to haue both wit and valour , the one to defend his purse , the other his carkasse , lest the exchequer cut the one , and the countrey rebel the other . he vnderstands more than the high sheriffe his master , and may well , for he buyes his wit of him ( which is euer the best ) and sells it againe at a treble valew , prouing a great gainer , if his quietus est doth not too much gripe him . he is outwardly respected more for feare than loue , and as little esteemed when hee is out of his office , which will be next michaelmas terme , and then you may trade with him for ten groats ( an attournyes see ) his collaterall profession . . a drawer . is one deepely read in the mysteries of the celler , diuing into the secrets of hogsheads , and is much conuersant in the mingling of his ware. hee is of such celerity , that hee ascends the staires in a moment , and descends them as suddenly , especially when hee is throwne downe . he is one that trusts all commers ( for he onely cryes score it ) but hee trusts them no further than he sees them , and when their braines and bellies are full , hee lookes they should empty their purses . hee is subiect to many ill words , which he as patiently beares , as they are like to doe his blowes , if they want the reckoning . hee should bee very wise by the continuall sight of so many seuerall humours , and would be so , but for the sumigation of the celler , which eleuates his wits , and makes them fly so high , that they sometimes catch a fall . he is alwayes a good fellow , and loues a gentleman , for that hee is sometimes one himselfe . he drinks the best drinke which breeds the best blood , the cause hee commonly loues a wench , for hee is a man of great trading . i cannot tell whether his master serues him , or he his master , but i am sure they cannot wel liue asunder . hee is now casting about for some merchants credite , to set vp for himselfe , that his wife may keepe the barre , to attract custome , and he leaue his iourney worke , and become as free to her , as shee may bee to others . . a good husband , is a man who steeres all his course in a right line , and weighes all his actions in an equall ballance ; a very good mathematician , for hee is alwayes within his compasse , but neuer runs circle so long as to make himselfe giddy . hee cuts out euery thing into a geometricall proportion to his rule and est●… ; nor doth his sense too much ouer-rule his reason . hee drinkes onely for thirst , and eats only for hunger , knowing superfluity to be the heyre of prodigality , and liberality the daughter of good husbandry , and medium betwixt two extremes . he is the sole happinesse of a good wife , and the torment o●… a waster . his children neuer liue to haue cause to curse him , nor his feruants to accuse him for their want of wages . he seriously viewes the folly of profusenesse , and is inwardly sorry to see the fall of any . he is not so niggardly as to grutch himselfe or his friend a good meale , but tasts freely ( though temperately ) of that god hath lent him , and thinkes himselfe no loser by lending a little to the needy . his moderate diet giues him longer dayes , and his care in his calling frees him frō idlenesse ( the bait of his greatest enemy ) for in doing nothing men learne to doe ill . he loues not stolne waters , ( though ne're so sweet ) but is satisfied with the breasts of his owne bedfellow . hee educates his children in a religious way , knowing that grace cannot want goods . and thus hee passeth his pilgrimage with a peacefull conscience , and leaues the world with all good mens applause , so that his name dyes not with his nature . his tything in his life time was so true and conscionable , that the parson preacheth his funeral praise , and perhaps giues him gratis his buriall in the chancell . . a constant man , is one who hath limitted his passions , and set certaine bounds to his affections , louing still in his course to hold the bridle firme in his hand , lest carelesly letting the reines loose , hee either stumbles dangerously , or fals very foule . his actions are solid , not phantastike , and he is very wary of promising anything that he either thinks or knowes hee cannot performe ; for hee still casts beyond chance , knowing a possibility , and seeing a probability before hee passeth his protestation . hee is one that keeps his mind within him , the reason why he thinks and speakes both together , without any iarre betweene his tongue and his heart . his word is as good as his bond , and his conscience the best debtor . his loue ( if possible ) is without lust or iealousie , fixed on vertue , where it stands firme as a rock . truth hath bound vp his temp les and discretion hath so knic the knot , that hee seldome makes his choyce so bad as to refuse it , his word so large as to reuoke it , or his time so short as to peece it with delayes at its period . hee must needs bee very patient too , else his constancy could not continue , for impatiency breaks the fence of hope and stability , and lets in despaire and leuity , a couple of wilde cattel that may spoyle a wel growne field . the wife that possesseth him is happy , for there is sure hold of his word . shee findes him at his appointed howre , which debarres her of many fears , and she ne're eats her meat cold , by staying for his comming . hee hath wealth enough , if he hath but this one vertue , for all men beleeue him , and dare trust him . time and experience haue wrought him into euery mans good opinion , and he stands vnmoued in all his dealings . he hates a lyar as a theefe , and is the greatest friend where he once pro●…esseth . the world is now growne so wilde , that few men are of his minde , and fewer women , the cause of so many cuckolds , periur'd persons , and dying louers . . a iealous man , is one so strangely and strongly possest with the yellow iaundis , that he thinks all things of yellow colour , which mistake proceeds from the defect of the eye , not the obiect . he is one whose mind is in a continuall labyri●…th , the further it goes , the further perplexed ; the more it looks , the more tormented , and yet sees nothing but by imagination , which foolish fancy lyes so heauy in his forehead , that he takes it for a horne , though it bee but a pimple i' th' flesh . hee consumes ▪ himselfe and his wiues reputation both together , by his too oftē cause les suspitiō , and thinks a kisse ( tho before him ) a sufficient cause of diuorce . he is the scoffe of his neighbors , and the bait that causeth many to nibble in iest , that hee might vex in good earnest . he commonly dreames of his wife though neuer so broad awake , and would keepe her in a chest but for feare of picking the locke , which sets the greater edge to her appetite , and the greater madnesse to his misbeleafe . his braines are in perpetuall agitation , and in his phantasie ( being a kind of frenzy ) sees so many loose passages in her , and lasciuious embraces by his supposed corriuals , that hee 's starke mad at last with melancholy musing . he liues in hell vpon earth , and is so besotted , that he cannot see when hee is well . hee is so farre gone in his disease , that all physicians haue giuen him ouer , knowing there is but one medicine ( amongst all ) to cure him of this malady ; which is , to see that really acted which hee so sted fastly supposed ; which ( no doubt ) will shortly bee effected , to the full recouery of the coxcombe , and the manifestation of his error in 's forehead , ( an ornament fit for him . ) . a desperate man , is one who hath forgot , god , the world , the diuel ▪ his neighbor and himselfe , and runs with precipitation into any danger . all his actions are violent , and therefore cannot bee permanent . he is a man of no faith at all , the reason he can apprehend no mercy from his maker , but all iustice. he still goes with cain's feare about him , that euery man will kill him , whilst hee himselfe makes a trade of murthering ; not fearce touch't for 't till his fatall , and then it fals so heauy , 〈◊〉 he cannot beare it . he is a man of no staidnesse , for he leaues a rocke to build vpon the sand. some thinner sculs thinke him valiant , because he dares stab , or doe any sudden mischiefe : but the schooles deny it , approuing valour to bee mixt with discretion ( which a desperate man altogether wants , ) besides , valour is a vertue springing from fortitude , but rashnesse a vice arising from passion . he is one no way fit for any place , either in church or common-weale , for he that cannot guide himselfe , is most vnfit to gouerne others . hee is a man of small or no hope , for hee is left to himselfe , and then scarce a man. hee doth all things without premeditation , the reason why so many disasters attend the end of his actions , which hee commonly feeles before he sees . all that know him shun his society , not so much for feare of him , as the law , knowing that his fury will force them to some further inconuenience . hee is setled and vested in this villany , and takes a pride to be talked of for his treachery , and is still glorying in his owne shame . new-gate or a worse place , wil shortly take possession of him , if he mend not his manners , for a gracelesse man is good for nought but a gallowes . finis . 〈◊〉 . a true friend , is a fountaine that cannot bee drawne dry , but alwayes affords some fresh and sweet waters to him , whose necessities and extremities enforce him to fetch it . hee is a mans second selfe , as deere as a good wife , more deere than a brother , else the wisest king had beene mistaken : but our times iustifie his prouerbe true , which hee knew before . he is solamen in miserijs , a copartner in distresses with you , and inwardly ( not fainedly ) beare halfe the burthen . loue and amity hath so knit him to you , that 't is a question whether you be two or one , reciprocally answering each other in affection , and are equally sensible of each others defects or disturbances . hee is no meteor or comet , no nine dayes wonder , or wandring planet , but a fixed starre , by whose operatiue influence , his needy is nourished . for hee is not compos'd of words , but actions , alwayes ready at a dead lift , to draw dun out of the myre . not onely a bare counsellor to goodnesse , and so leaue you without meanes of prosecution ( the niggardly wisedome of these times ) but an assister in the way , and goes on the first mile with you for company , and lookes after you in the rest of your iourney , if he doth not trauell throughout the same . hee neuer aymes , at any of his owne ends in doing courtesies , but doth them freely and quickly ; not drow●…ding his good deeds in the dull performance ; for , qui citò dat , bis dat ; he that giues timely , giues twice ▪ he 's a certaine perpetuity ▪ that cannot be lost by non-payment of rent , and ought to bee loued aboue fee ▪ simple . he is the pillar of constancy , & the very touchstone of truth . one that lookes vpon men with the eye of religion , and is not ●…ounded in the eare with worldly applause for it . hypocrisie and vaine-glory are as farre from his heart , as the contrary poles are from each other , for his right hand shall not know what his left hand doth . hee is ( in these iron dayes ) rara auis in terra ; a blacke swan , or a white crow , as rare as the phoenix , and such a precious iewell as the indies cannot a●…ord his his parallell . he is most happy that hath him , and i aduise him to make much of him , for hee hath great fortune indeed , if he findes a second . finis . cures for the itch characters. epigrams. epitaphs. by h.p. parrot, henry. approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : - (eebo-tcp phase ). a stc estc s this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : ) cures for the itch characters. epigrams. epitaphs. by h.p. parrot, henry. [ ] p. printed [by j. haviland and m. flesher] for thomas iones, at the signe of the blacke rauen in the strand, london : . h.p. = henry parrot. printers' names from stc. "characters" has separate title page and register. "epigrams" has caption title and begins new register with signature b. "epitaphs" has caption title; register is continuous. apparently flesher printed the "characters" only, and this section may be a reissue--stc. signatures: a⁴ a-b ² b-e f¹² g. imperfect; leaf a of the first quire is lacking. reproduction of the original in the bodleian library. created by converting tcp files to tei p using tcp tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic 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markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion cvres for the itch . characters . epigrams . epitaphs . by h. p. scalpat qui tangitur . london , printed for thomas iones , at the signe of the blacke rauen in the strand . . to the courteous reader . it is now almost two yeares expired when ( liuing in the country that long vacation ) i wrote these epigrams , and epitaphs adioining , which then , nor since i would consent ( nor was it fit indeed they should bee published ) till now on times more prosperous opportunity . these characters besides ( though first here mentioned ) were now of later times by me composed , which not so fully perfected , as was meant , i did not thinke should haue past the presse . if any thing howeuer may proue acceptable , i shal a little seem more glad , being so much lesse discredited by these vaine houres of mine mis-spent , which should haue beene ( you will say ) on better exercises . you cannot possibly dislike the one , more then i willing would reforme the other . si tantum detur mihi libera potestas & occasio : meane while submitting to your fauourable censures , i humbly rest , yours to be commanded , h. p. to the criticke-seeming censurer . thou maist be curteous for ought i know , without the least of carping or deprauing , let thy wits excellence or worths best estimate be what it will : marry sir , then might it be askt me why i should thou thee , or any gentleman of those indowments , my answer briefly ( though not worth the answering ) is , that thy betters haue much more endured , and daily doe accept without exceptions . but to the businesse , here 's a new booke , or rather new brood ( as a man may call it ) of some vnusuall odde inuentions , hastily hatcht without obseruance of time , rule , or reckoning , and therfore little know i yet what may become of them ; nor dare i promise more on their behalfes , then that they either may starue through pouerty , or desperately lye vpon the parish for want of shelter , so farre vnlikely will it be ( i know ) to finde the owners or fathers out , who questionlesse will quite disclaim them to be their bastards though nere so iumpe a like in qualities as can or may be possibly required . but to leaue metaphors , i know i shall bee fowly censured , and that by none so much , as those , that are or haue beene of mine own acquaintaine , i mean not such as are iudicious ( whom i loue and reuerence ) but other sort of prouder vpstarts that would bee wiser then their ancestors , because a little bolstered vp since their forgetfull base beginnings . i should but vex my selfe , and ill detaine you with the report of things so friuolous , which ceasing so much as but to thinke vpon , if any man shall question me ; quorsum haec inania scripsi , t is ten to one i answer not directy , more then thus , that what 's done and past cannot bee recald : therefore in briefe , without least complements ( as i said before ) whatsoeuer to others may proue distastfull , shall vnto me be twice as odious , and there 's an end . characters . by h. p. london , printed for tho : iones . characters . a ballad-maker is a kinde of owle or batt that flyeth in the night , and dares not his deformities should appeare by day : hee 's one that from first shamelesse desperate become of late to bee more impudent ▪ sets this last rest vp for his latest refuge . his primum mobile of ragged ancestry sprang from the patchings of some paltry poet ; whence learning how to rime vnreasonably , makes this the maine-mast of his occupation . his choisest plots or grounds to worke vpon , are drawn most commonly from theeues and murderers , or such notorious malefactors , as puts him in great hope to purchase forty pence . his highest ambition he aymes at , is , to be intituled , the times intelligencer , or nuncius of newes at the second hand . the punckes late ballad of the new bridewell was his cheife master-peece that purchast him perhaps a coblers paire of boots ouer & aboue his vsuall bargaining hee spends most past of his time in 's bed , partly for sauing charge of botching , but chiefly deuising what were best to write on , when no one cals on him for what 's to pay : omnia mea mecum , &c. may very rightly be verified in him that hath no riches more then what he weares , and comes to him commonlie by deed of gift . the alewife is inforst to trust him weekely , and that without all hope of hauing ought vnlesse some pallad chance to be compos'd vpon some dismall or dolefull accident as may be sung to the tune of welladay . if any thing happen to helpe besides , it must accrew from the next sessions ▪ prouided there be some to trauel westward , on whom he is to make that recantation as if himselfe were the theame hee writes on . no massacre or murder comes to him amisse , but brings sufficient matter for inuention . wherein he shewes himselfe so nimble , that if any witch bee by chance condemned , hee 'l haue a ballad out in print before such time as she goes to tyburne : wherein all her confession and the manner of her death shall be described by way of prophesie , witnesse the famous witch of edmonton , condemned at new-gate about foure yeares past . no printer deales with him that loues his credit , but must be thereunto induc'd for want of worke , and then the presse begins to sweat when monstrous newes comes trundling in the way ; his greatest volume done in folio is to bee purchast but for two brasse tokens , which either you may please to light tobacco w th or sacrifice to a-iax for purgation . in briefe , the summe of all his practices is but to shift him sometime in cleane linnen , that he appeare not louzie to posteritie , and so i leaue him . a tapster is another mephostophilus , or visible spirit , that 's dayly diuing into vauts and cellars ; the custome of whose clamor is to cry anon , and restlesse post him to and from the spiggot : hee s one whose races first deriuatiue grew from the dregs but of some brewers dray-man , who for his liquors larger vtterance bindes him apprentice to an inkeeper , where quickly learning to chalke two for one , as also how to fill with nicke and froth , becomes a drawer for the deuills owne drinking . hee s a sworne wellcomer of all sorts of drunkards that sit and call for 't at their costs and perills . his cullionship oft-times becomes a creditor that either must be forst to trust his betters , or cheat his master if they pay not for it . your puncke or oyster-wench ( excepted onely ) may score it at all times vpon bare trust , which hee s contented to take out in drudgery . your country tapsters are of other kinde , sworne often brothers vnto ostlers , and so consenting to each others secrets , as that to robberies they oft proue accessories . hee nere could teach himselfe more how to pray then that salt meat be euer in request , and may not want stale beere to serue his customers , which must not so much quench as kindle thirst : and to that knauish end the brewer and he well know that rosin is a good ingredient . hee s naturally addicted to a blew tuckt apron with a blacke pouch thereto appendant , the chiefest ensigne of his occupation . his greatest prouidence ( caring else for nought ) is to haue store of of bottles gainst the spring , which standing in their ranks like muskateires , may soone discharge vpon the word giue fire : nothing affrights him like the brewers clarke whose comming with his tallies proues more terrible then is a sergeant to a younger brother . if once he come to draw but for himselfe , or may be trusted for some halfe a brewing , there 's not a peasant on the earth so proud . hence he aspiring , hopes to get a wife ( no matter of what calling or condition ) that soon may purchase him a house for victualling : his last of ladders steppe proues then an host : and further comes to bee a common baile for such as are his daily benefactors , that vse to drinke and call in by the dozens . in briefe , had he but wit to his vnworthinesse , hee would become more knaue then could bee corrigible , and so continue till his last of breathing . a drunkard is a liquid publike notorie , thath makes indentures without clause or couenant . one whom stout cariage hath so lowly humbled as hee no more lookes into others risings then would least downefalls should be seene in him . hee s no concealer of long harbourd secrets , but thereof soone dischargeth himselfe , and hardly can bee held to proue a traitor . he oft-times seemes a man much penitent , witnesse the foremarkes of the cloathes he weares , being the teares both of the tankard and himself together . he scornes on thother side your pale fac't enuy or any thing that 's done in hugger-mugger , but will haue perfect collour for what he deales in . hee s a most hardy and approued souldier that takes a nappe as soundly on the boards , or ( for a need in wide and open fields , ) as on your softest beds of downe , not dreaming least of cushion , cap or pillow : he sleepes not long in malice or reuenge , but meerly will forget those wrongs next morning which could not be endur'd the night before . hee s an vndoubted good astronomer that watcheth often more by night then day , and bids the morning starre good morow before the larke or least of light appeare . moreouer he assumes himselfe a trauellor of farthest regions with th' antipodes , where it is night with them being day with vs. he still maintaines the old dutch prouerb , that strongest liquor cureth all diseases : no best of physicke careth he a fig for , no doctors deales with , or apothecarie , so well hath nature and due custome taught him to purge at all times without pill or potion . he troubles not himselfe with state affaires which would disturbe him of his liberty , but loues to doffe it without care securely : hee s ne're so valerous as when 's cups are mustering daring thē to fight with pompey or great otho , and drinke carowses to the queene of sparta ▪ the baker is of all men least beholding to him , that for expence of halfe a peece in liquor vtters him not one farthing worth of bread . the vintner is his gardian ouerseer , that keepes him oft-times till the reckoning be cast vp , and rather craues his roome then 's company . if you will speake with him in sober sadnesse , your comming must bee early in a morning , he being soon after gone to drink a match . porters & watchmen are his home conductors , that either picke his pockets by the way , or will be sure of something ere they leaue him . if in his drunken rage he kills a man , hee s the next day not onely sorry for it , but must be hang'd for further satisfaction being sober : and there 's the cloze of it . a rectified young man is a pretious diamond , or rare orient pearle richly set in gold : it s that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . so true a louer of learning and goodnesse as proueth him a patterne to posteritie . his generall obseruance had of others vertues , confirmes all absolute in him without reproofe : hee suckt not ouer-much his mothers milk , nor was hee weaned long before his time , you need not question ought his parentage , which cannot but approue that saying verified , such as the tree is , such must be the fruit . his modest gesture shewes him what he is , without beholding to the booke of heraldie . he loueth manners better farre then money , and not affecting turbulent promotions , chooseth a quiet life his best of happinesse . hee s ne're so idle as in company , and not so busied as by being alone ; his thoughts are seldome set on had-i-wist of businesse rash or inconsiderate , but with aduice directeth all his action : hee suites himselfe with such associates as are coherent with his disposition , neither too loftie or ambitious , nor basely minded , and yet truly generous ; his garments are not shap't so to the fashion , as comelinesse in him becommeth them ; hee s not too lavish nor penurious , not ouer silent or contentious ; but moderate , twixt both , without extreames . the church and sermons are his chiefe delights , which makes him mortified ere his time of mariage : his solace sometimes next to diuinity , may bee to looke on honest poetry , which makes him of best schollers best respected : hee accounts that sinne , which sauours not of truth , or from a conscience that 's the least corrupted . his setled thoughts and constant resolutions will not bee soone remoued vpon perswasiōs of things that may be not the same they seem . the loue of goodnesse keepes him still in hope of that which may in processe bring perfection . all that he aymes at is a good report of such a vertuous life and conuersation as may record him vnto after ages ; his latest thoughts of long deliberating may bee in time to match with such a wife as shall adde honor to his former credit , and set vp so his rest in that felicity which may assure him rest eternally . a young nouices new yonger wife is a codling in iuly that comes not to be ripe before september , howeuer sooner pluckt for wantonnes more then of taste or rellish it affordeth . it s the same thing in her minoritie which we call a woman , who no sooner entring into the yeare of teene , but then begins to bloome and burnish much like the strawberry the first fruit that 's gathered . time hath not taught her yet the dues of matrimony : but well shee woteth , and hath often heard it , the summe or portion which her father giues her , ( besides the legacy her grandsire left her ) is able keepe two maids at least . she scorneth now the thought but of a rod , hauing that safegard which shall stand twixt her and it for such defence . shee seekes imprimis how to sute her selfe as may accommodate with the times and fashions , therefore makes choice of such a taylor as best can tell how to put her to charges . the next is , what best likes her ap●etite that hath beene queazy from her infancy , and feareth much her new come kitchin mayde will neuer please her in the buying or dressing . shee knowes not how to chide her man without laughing , hauing beene so childishly familiar with seruants before her mariage . the most shee wanteth , are those tearmes to gossip it , being thereto nere accompanied with her mother , and that which grieues her , is not to haue beene at womans labour , no not so much as her eldest sisters , not knowing how soone shee may ( vnexpert ) bee thereto occasioned : her shoomaker vexeth her beyond the rest , who maketh her foot seeme so vnfashionable or ouer-pinching as is not possible to be endured . if her new husband grant not what she asketh him , twenty to one but she falls a weeping , or will not arise the next day to dinner . shee hates that woman of what sort soeuer , that weares a beaner or a ruffe so curious as may compare with hers for comelinesse . no neighbor suffers shee to approach her bedchamber ; not that it lyes so sluttish and vnhandsome , as for she hath not yet a casting-bottle , & a wrought cushion-cloath which still her husband forgets to buy her . her care is next to haue her picture drawne , could shee but meet that cunning painter who drew my lady being great with child . her chiefest solace is to sit at door , and that on sundayes commonly after euensong , when being in her best and handsomest habit , she may bee gazed on like a may-game . she longs a moneth before she proues with childe , that so ouercloyd with choisest dainties , shee hath now a foolish minde to feed on spratts . there 's nothing could content or pacifie her after the cat had kild her sparrow , vntill she had a parraquito bought her , which lik't her not a moneth till shee was weary of . her second choice shee hopes , shall proue a gentleman . if this content her not which now she hath , or things fadge otherwise then are expected , let them thanke her father for it , that made the match , and there 's an end . a common fidler is an ineuitable squeaking slaue of time , one that intrudes into any company vnder pretext of that old motto , wil't please you gentlemen to heare any musicke ; hee s such a mercenarie rascal as makes a man induced to expence , & payes more for his eare then for his mouth ; he neuer draws in anger , but for profit : and that most cōmonly of meat , drinke and money : onely in darke mornings may it fall out otherwise ; that 's forst to stand in doubtful expectation , and strike vp cheerfully at all aduentures , and perhaps in a showre of raine which dampes his sheepes guts . the most he aymeth at is after feasts and weddings , where he may be sure to fill his pockets , howere hee saile of further coynes reward . the next to that , is after fayres and feastings , where hee presumeth it is impossible hee should meet with all repulses . his most ambition is after songs and clothes , with so much money as will buy new fidles-strings . an old blew coat at the second turning sets vp his treble in the highest straine , that titles then himselfe some lords retayner . his totall meanes amounts but to fiue markes , which he hath miseraby beene scraping all his life-time , and cannot purchase yet a cloake for holy daies . if any man chance to breake his instrument , hee bringeth straight his action of the case being his fidle case is without action ; his best of profit comes most times from drunkards , and such as are lasciuiously inclin'd , whom hee prouoketh with more lewd temptation , should he be blind , and after vse his trade , it must assume howere a larger priuiledge , onely dyes a rogue by the statute , and there 's his vltimum . a broker is a refractorie kinde of devill on earth , meerly compos'd without a conscience , and deales in onely such things desperate as either come by way of relaps , or otherwise happen at the second hand ; hee 's as it were the sincke or common shore to all , or most of those commodities , which for necessity haue forst beene morgaged , or forfeited meerely without redemption . his first originall of base beginning grew from the corruption of some cut-throat vsurer , who matcheth many times his younger daughter with the first issue male of such a syre . the horse-courser and hee are scarce distinguished which of the twaine proues the truest lurcher for buying cheapest and selling dearest , only the one bids , see what you lacke , whiles the other cheats you with vnknown diseases . his greatest profit comes most times from theeues , and much is benefited by bawdes and bānkroutes ; onely the hangman holds him to hard bargaines , that 's forst to buy or barter at his pleasure : honesty and hee are euer vnreciprocall , and stand more remote to either , then hounsditch from longlane ; or tyburne almost from turnbullstreet . the darkest shop makes his gaines the cleerer , which he obscures with sundry properties for such case prouided . hee 's seldome seene abroad vnlesse at out-cryes , where hee forestalles all sorts of buyers on that old watch-word of no man better . he makes it thirteen moneths to euery yeare , when any come to pay him interest , and takes the forfeit but of one dayes failing him . there 's nothing terrifies him like a monopolie , thinking some presently are come to beg him for his quadruble extorting vsurie : hee liues not commonly full out his time , for that his master mammon can no longer spare him , nor makes hee any will to vexe his conscience with giuing or bequeathing that so suddenly , which hath beene scrap'd vp with so long extremity . and therefore , to keepe decorum , he dyeth detestable . in briefe , no sooner is the caitiffe coffined ( which is the most can bee afforded him ) but downe so soone falls all his moueables , as there 's no mention left of such a miscreant . a iouiall good fellow is such a kinde frolicke coxcombrian , as scorning least the guilt of couetuousnes , may easily be drawn to dye a begger . hee s one whose parents scrap'd vp by the ounce , that he spēds & spatters by the pound . the name of vsury is to him so odious as rather then be toucht with taking interest , hee le sooner be content to lose the principall . the saying of old is verified in him . what pity t is he hath it not : and again , hee s no mans foe but his owne . the fountaine of good fellowship consists in him , that rather then to part with boone companie will freely condiscend to stay til midnight , spending as much as the house dares trust him . hee s none of those that takes care for to morrow , but bids in such case things bee as they may . the taylor makes his cloathes at all aduentures , that being so scittish and fantasticall , will not stand still whiles hee 's taking measure . nothing distasts him more then breach of promise , as not to meet in such a place in fishstreet , all businesse and occasions set apart . giue him but least of warning ouer-night , and hee s yours next day wholly to command . there cannot bee a greater iniury to his inuincible resolution as but to tender least towards the reckoning , which hee hath vow'd and sworne will see discharged , and for my part may hee neuer guilty be of periury . hee seldome weares out any thing he buyes , but giues or lends it oft without returne , and that 's it makes the laundresse lose his linnen . hee s bound for any man will but intreat him , and neuer thinks out till the time 's expired . his most of care is how to grow more lean , that hath so long been puft vs with canary , as there 's no helpe out but hee must take physicke . these sitting , long at supper kills his disgesture , and with his taking so much tobacco the very kitchin-maid begins to loath him . his manner was of late to ryde & take the ayre , but now hath sold his horse to saue that charge : besides , hee hath so oft beene bidden godfather , as now must pausing first bethinke himselfe . the last that followes ( being the hell of all ) are those vndreamt of scuruy executions haue layd in the poultry compter ; wher wee leaue him . a humorist is he that harbours those conceits within him , which nothing better then a cudgell can beat out ; hee s of so different oppos'd opinion ▪ as would appropriate himselfe peculiar beyond the tract of vulgar dispositions ; custome creates in him that habite which now is growne to such a height , as may bee term'd another nature . giue him the reines , hee 'le gallop out of breath , or do but checke or crosse him nere so little , and you may cary him aswell to bedlam ; hee 's of that quaint society and behauiour , as not enduring to stay long in company , leaues you abruptly , without taking leaue : he finds not halfe so soone the cause of quarrell , as thereto proues occasioned without a cause . the more you seeke or offer to intreat him , the more inexorable he shewes himselfe , and yeelds no reason , but his rascall humor ; his manner is to sing sometimes at meat , because he would not be thought melancholly for want of money , and doth that which commonly hee 's most forbidden ; his outward cariage makes him much obserued , either fantasticall and most peruerse , or so demurely casting downe his head as if he were to study the blacke art. he cannot endure a long grace , he loues not to eat of any thing that 's caru'd vnto him , nor can endure to sit long at dinner , but must haue needs tobacco spite of company . the want of money makes him then most mad , especially being denyed longer trust at the ordinarie . he challengeth any man into the field that shall refuse to pledge his mistresse health , although he meanes to be first drunke . he flings a trencher forthwith at the face of him or them shall offer any musicke , bidding them pack away for roguish fidlers . his obstinacies heat growne more implacable , dares call that woman whore that 's not his mother . his maine of actions are without example , nor wil be perswaded by prescription of wisest , most , or worthiest whatsoeuer . keepe him in darknesse eight and forty houres without releife of food , or sustenance , you somewhat may perhaps asswage his humour , but neuer shall reclaime him if you would hang him . a malepart yong vpstart is a mushrom grown within compasse but of one nights breeding , and may be likened to that painted butterfly that flitters but a month in summer , and staies not long at whatsoere he lights on ; hee s that first rare and forwardest fruit you cal a ieniting , which ripes and rots soone both together : much differing from your lasting-apple-iohn . his thoughts are alwayes vpon presentactions , not looking least on what is past , and scornes to thinke any thing to come . much bashfulnesse in him is long since vanished , and now hath boldnes made him more then impudent . he meerly hath forgot his kennell of-spring , and will no more bee pestred with intrusions of them that worthier might contemn his cōpany ; his mothers cockering made him first a wanton , since when , conceited with his owne perfections , becomes more malepert then vnreprouable . time nere could teach him how to keepe decorum being so lately spun as t' were and wouen , not stretcht as vpon the tenter-hooks , so little trial hath he had of waterings as ten to one , but hee le shrink him in wetting : the tailor much hath holpe him in the making , adding to his ioynes that onward luster as therby would be thought another absolon : hee s strong perswaded euery wench is in loue with him , especially hauing on his best apparell ; and wanteth no addition but a beard . all that he aymes at is to bee arrogant , not caring for best counsell or aduice . last , he desires but money & good cloathes , let other matters happen as they may , and there 's the period of his resolution . a scold is a much more heard of ▪ then least desired to bee seene or knowne she-kinde of serpent ; the venom'd sting of whose poysonous tongue , worse then the biting of a scorpion , proues more infectious farre then can be cured ; shee s of all other creatures most vntameablest , and couets more the last word in scoulding , then doth a combater the last stroke for victorie . she lowdest lifts it standing at her door , bidding w th exclamation flat defiance to any one sayes blackes her eye . she dares appeare before any iustice , nor is least daunted with the sight of counstable , nor at worst threatnings of a cuckingstoole . there 's nothing mads or moues her more to outrage , then but the very naming of a wispe , or if you sing or whistle when she is scoulding . if any in the interim chance to come within her reach , twenty to one she scratcheth him by the face : or doe but offer to hold her hands , shee l presently begin to cry out murder . there 's nothing pacifies her , but a cup of sacke , which taking in full measure of digestion , shee presently forgets all wrongs that 's done her and thereupon falls streight a weeping : doe but intreat her with faire words , or flatter her , she then confesseth all her imperfections , and layes the guilt vpon the whore her mayd . her manner is to talke much in her sleepe what wrongs she hath indured of that rogue her husband whose hap may be in time to dye a martyr , and so i leaue them . a good wife is a world of happines , that brings with it a kingdome in conceit , and makes a perfect adiunct in societie ; shee s such a comfort as exceeds content , and proues so precious as cānot be paralleld , yea more inestimable then may be valued . shee s any good mans better second selfe , the very mirror of true constant modesty , the carefull huswife of frugalitie , and dearest obiect of mans hearts felicitie . she commands with mildnesse , rules with discretion , liues in repute , and ordereth all things that are good or necessarie ; shee s her husbands solace , her houses ornament , her childrens succor , and her seruants comfort . shee s ( to be briefe ) the eye of warinesse , the tongue of silence , the hand of labour , and the hart of loue : her voice is musicke , her countenance meeknesse ; her minde vertuous , and her soule gratious . shee s a blessing giuen from god to man , a sweet companion in his affliction , and ioynt copartner vpon all occasions ; shee s ( to conclude ) earths chiefest paragon , and will bee when shee dyes heauens dearest creature . a selfe conceited parcell-witty-old dotard . he pretendeth not only to be quondam learned , but also in present a graue scribling clerke : and when hee discribeth himselfe , hee dareth to adde the title of the ablest writer in europe , though he haue nothinks hee deserues more then others can giue him , or himselfe desires . he carieth a philosophycall grauity and austerity , affecting chiefly the garbe of diogenes , whom he imitates as well in high conceit as low estate , and therfore hates nothing more then the name of elemosinary or beadesman , though charity be his onely freehold . no strappado will make him confesse what title he hath to the meat he eats , for which he pleads the merit of the man , and holds that to bee his owne because hee eates it . though both yeares and affectation breed in him a graue looke , yet is hee not so gray as greasie , especially when his sattin dublet hath borne the affronts of all weathers for , or . moneths , and then it is so varnished that no drop of raine will sticke vpon it . so austere he is , that he will alienate his bed to lye vpon the ground , and so thrifty that he will weare his stockings re'nuersed , the feet of them raced or cooped and aduanced in cheife to the knee for the seruice they haue done him in the hoofe , and at last he honorably entombes them in the dunghill . hee so defieth the curiosity of the times , that he will rather be knowne by blacke linnen then by blew starch , and so abhorreth the shreds of old indentures , that hee will not suffer his taylor to take measure of him , to whom he giueth in charge only one prouiso that his dublet doe not pinch him in the crop , and so hinder his nutrition which is the chiefe faculty he takes care of . he is of those sublimated speculations that hee can better expresse his thoughts by his brow then his tongue , and can giue no more account of his meditations , then the sybills could of their prophesies when the madde fit was ouer . he will voluntarily tell of his old trauels , what respect hee hath found among great men , what preferments he hath run through , or might haue had , but will not be cald to account by demanding questions , especially if they tend to examine of what profession he is . hee hath some remaines of quondam learning , which like old ruines of time , others delight to behold , among whom hee loues to bee abused in iest , lest he should be contemned in earnest , he thinks no reproach greater , then when he hath been baffled to confesse who hurt him ; and therfore then sweares he remembers nothing . if any of his aquaintance aske him whether he hold himselfe to bee wit-wrackt , hee plainly answers that hee hath not so much wit as to iudge of his own wits , but saith , that hee strongly suspecteth himselfe , and that not without cause : the treble string of his fancy being so weake that it will crack with the weight of a new hat ; which therfore he the oftener putteth off vpon pretence of punctuall courtesie , which he affecteth so complementally as if he had held a trencher at the table of cardinall st. george at rome . his chiefe exercise is stretching his old calues in long walkes , whither he knowes not , nor cares , so he may seeme contemplatiue by walking alone if you meet him : and aske whither he goes , he saith , his iourney lyes as the gadd-fly bites him . in winter hee will often walke in cuerpo , in the snow or raine , sollacing himselfe with the hope of faire weather , and otherwhile within doores : his best imployment and posture is to lye vpon chushions against a fire basting himselfe til his complexion smel like newgate or the inside of a clownes eele-skin sheath , or of an old extinguisher . in summer his greatest worke within doores is to doe execution vpon fleas by set number ten being his stint ( according to the number of his blankets ) which to exceede he counteth murder : and without doores to enterlace his walkes with stations or rather sessions vnder hedges among his brethren mendicants , whose company he is so loath to leaue , that he commeth home short to halfe meales , and then eates poste to ouertake his company . if the whimsey take him to see westminster , for businesse he hath none , hee would the rather weare out sixe pence in shooe-leather , by trudging about , then spend two pence with a skuller to strike ouer the gayner way . though the world owe him much for his ancient deserts , yet will hee liuing nor dead owe the world any thing , and therefore that no man may pull his executor by the sleeue , he compounds before hand for the charges of his buriall . no man can tell how to take measure of him for a monument , otherwise ( in imitation of his owne prouidence ) i would before hand haue made an epitaph on him , for which though i should deserue thankes some , yet i expect none , well knowing that hee repayeth no thankes for any courtesie , but rather expects as much from euery donor , for his owne acceptation of the last benefit . and so i leaue him to others admiration . finis . epigrams . aegrotans , nolens . could bond the scrivener find no time to come to sr. iohn opus , but on 's physick day , when he should take a purge ? hang him base scum , is that a time when men their debts should pay ? goe tell the scoundrell from sr iohn agen his worship leaues off purging none knows when . ferendo fortior . galla twice maried , is become much stronger ; and in her labours like to hold out longer , who by this new match makes the prouerb full , she that hath borne a calfe , beares now a bull. foelix donec . while turnus feasted , not a guest durst faile him but being arested , not a guest durst bail him . fiat necesse . sextus hath sold his coach and horses foure , which needs must vnto need be thoght th' induction for of expence there prou'd none other power , besides , t' was that first drew him to destruction . verbum , summis . young lelio left but sixpence in aduance , that was to feast it at the golden fleece : comes to the bar with brauing countenance , saying , sirra drawer , canst thou change a peece ? or — since for siluer we are not so strong , scor't vp : i le send it by my man - tom long. verbosus scabiosus . marcus would needs maintain , store was no sore that had his fingers fraught with scabs great store to whom ( quoth one ) this proues you sir a lyer , for too much store makes you a scuruy squire . sublata causa , &c. why studies siluester no more the lawes ? tisthoght duck-lane has tane away the cause peccans errans . monseur patricius is to venice gone , what to do there think you ? faith look vpon the walls and buildings : not for any feare , vnlesse you 'll vrge't t' was to saue hanging here . filia grammaticalis . no more need pontus pawne his gown or cloak his wiues best linnen , or her wedding ring ; vnlesse the deuill hath still the same forespoake , as an ordain'd ineuitable thing . for why ? his daughter , past her moods and tenses ▪ ( comming to possum ) payes for all expences . grauida , intacta . bindo still beats his maids beyond excesse , all but this last and late-come little besse , of whom it 's wondred much how bindo delt ▪ that she with child , his waight yet neuer felt . equitans-ambulans . why wears wat one boot vp , another down ? cause th'ones to ride whiles th' other staies in towne . dubius decipiens . ianus must iesting still equiuocate , which he alludes as doubtfull termes of art , being a custome he hath got of late , but to the devill he beares an honest heart . armatus , animosus . when lanus lights by chāce vpon some cheat , and hath his pockets lin'd with least of chink his stomacke then endures no common meat , or possibly digests your sodden drinke , till forst againe remoue towards the fields , finds no such victuals as his alehouse yeelds . deridens deridendus . if lollus leaue not those his flowts and frumps , which haue so oft been worn euen to the stumps . let it not vex him if reuenge be such , that others play vpon his wife as much . calvus incastus . not chaste nor secret calvus ? well take heed thou proue not last a bald-pate knaue indeed . pulchra quae vtilia . mercutio maruels what men meane , to buy so many bookes of such diuersity ; when almanacks ( saith he ) yeelds all the sense of times best profit , and experience . facies , forum . pvt case penelope be poore descended , where find you such another more compares for comelinesse , or is the like befriended , with knights and gallants that bespeak her wares ? shew me that sempster if you ere haue seene her , hath had like takings for a young-beginner . charum diuersorium . creta lets lodgings , but at such a rate as may maintaine mal , su , bess , dol , and kate , whom purposely she keeps in such a plight , as may content best commers in at night . verba vana . pru could content you , as fit time affords , but to deale plain , she 'l not be paid with words . inaequale connubium . paulus is wedded to a wench , as pretty as he himselfe is generous and witty : but here 's the ods , she 'll trade , so will not he , and that 's it makes them so much disagree . meretrix moesta . parnel complaines not halfe so much of wants , as spitefull dealings late in publike knowne , by bridewell beadles : slaues and sycophants , that durst so vex her , vsing but her owne ; when thousands more haue trod awry the shoo , alas poore whore , what would you haue her doe ? maritus mitior . kind kester carying kate his wife behind him , to post-salute her would oft backwards wind him : whereby the cockscombe might be thought more kind , that he before should kisse her so behind . visumignotum . that cambro's wife's with child , her belly shows it , but who was 't got it ? pray ask those that knows it peccans culpans . how bitter spake sir tristram th' other day , to george his mā that wēt ( he thought ) aftray alledging , no such obiects could so wooe him : true , for he has the gowt , his drab comes to him . signa supersunt . priscus giues out he hence to prague is gone , vpon a wager of aduentrous chance : but priscus lurkes ( more shame to think vpon ) with kate his old comrague in petty france : yet of his trauels meanes at large relate , at least is sure to bring certificate . femina fumus . sil for his wiues sake much tobacco sels , that still employes her selfe in nothing else : for though the smoak yeelds neere so bad a smother men loathing yet the one , may loue the other . serio at non . dol with much dalliance must and wil dispense , dealing on matters deeper consequence . invita senectus . old dromo bids adieu to day delights . growne much decrepid ; fitter far for nights : who forst must now his worne out limbs retire , and volens-nolens feed but on desire . ebria fragilior . who sayes carina liues incontinent , or proues the least to such a busines bent : because she lodgings lets to gentlemen that may be iesting with her now and then ? be it defiance to his very face , shall touch carina in such kind of case . indeed if drunke a man will question that , a woman then may doe she knowes not what . duplex dubium . sislie's with child she 's sure , but knowes not whether by her late husband , or this man , or neither . birlady wench th'adst need both doubt and feare , for twixt them both the businesse did appeare . idonius capistro . brutus denies his birth and parentage , growne vp a gallant iust at hanging age . debita desperata . qvestus hath tane vp more this last vacation , in mercers shops , then all his meanes amounts who being askt to pay , and in what fashion , all he can say , is , put it in accompts . chara coniux . nicholas that purchast for his new wife nan a little dog , a squirrell , and a fan , contents her not , but must haue ( seinvito ) a muffe , a munky , and a parakito : which to defray , the foole perforce is drawne , although he lay the siluer spoone to pawne . breuius dulcius . dacus endures not any long discourse , which his impatience would too much inforce the end or cloze aymes he at , good or ill , all but the tauerne and his taylors bill . luxuria praecipua . kit cares not though his trechery be knowne , so you 'll but let his letchery alone . nesutor vltra . gorgonius brags what wonders he would doe , were but his purse halfe answerable to his noble thoughts : pish , prethee foole it lesse , and follow on the trade thou dost professe . mouens mobilis . what art thou like ( my lidea ) or whereto shall i compare thee , as i faine would do : vnto a swan ? a lilly ? or a rose ? no , lidea scornes to be compar'd to those : i le tell thee lidea ( so thou wilt not frowne ) iust to an houre-glasse that 's still vp and downe . egenus poeta . tassus writes verses vpon great mens praise , and in that exercise spends most his dayes : for whom you 'll aske ? that would be vnderstood . faith for whos'ere giues money to buy food . ius , iniuria . crassus of lands holds lawfull now possession : true , got by law , but lost by much oppression . fortior , formidabilis . qvimetuit odit , doth the prouerb goe . which might of caius carefull be debated , if any durst but tell the caitiffe so : pish hang him he 'll be fear'd , though nere so hated . chara , vilis . priscilla sprung from pitch of highest top , scorning your proud late gallants to conuerse with , now lowly keeps a poore tobacco shop , for foot-boyes , grooms , & cullions to cōmerse with but you must note she 's poore and grown in yeares , as by the rules of ragged times appeares . aegrotants fortior . cantus our cobler being lately sicke , one meeting him , desir'd to vnderstand the cause of his disease : quoth he , a cricke hath pain'd me , but am now o' th mending hand . eques solis . bernard for boots with london coblers barters , which stād in stead of stockins , shoos , & garters obligatus alligatus . day break , and break of day , all one should be , but t is not so with ferdinand we see : who chancing thus of late to break his day , was all the cause why he in ludgate lay . deteriora malis . dicke truly swore he was not drunke this week , chalkt not one penny vpon any score , playd not a game at tables , bowles , or gleek , no not a foot stept from his chamber doore : long of that scuruy laundresse , so to deale , as hauing but one shirt , she that must steale . viatores infoelitiores . scruto that skilfull-seeming man in arts , and traueller , twice all those countries bin in , would any creature iudge one of his parts so lowsie should become for want of linnen ? dolor intimus . not hauk , nor hound ▪ nor horse , those letters hhh but ache it selfe t is brutus bones attaches . propriora meliora . mechus that meanes to pocket vp no wrongs , but money , and what else to him belongs , may pocket vp these rimes , and be no foole , they nearer him concerne then a-iax stoole . pignus secretum . mistris mordina whispered in mine eare , about a businesse she was loath to vtter , vnlesse to silence it i first would sweare , and therewithall in some assurance put her . t was but to lend her so much , like a noddy , for which she ventrous would haue pawnd her body viuis viuens . proud dorothea take it not in scorn , th' art like a biere that on mens backs is born ; only this difference thou maist inforce , the biere beares those are dead , thou the quicke corse . additio perditio . from mal but merry , men but mirth deriue , for trix t is makes her proue demonstratiue . fallacior cautior . darcas hath dealt on promises so oft as she 'll no more the cunningst cozener close with , till it appeare there be a licence brought , witnesse the fourth big belly that she goes with . rosa , spina . admit fardella for her face and feature be so vnparalleld esteem'd a creature , she 's yet for all those attributes no more then an attractiue fine wel-fauour'd — : and that too many can too feeling tell , since she too lately lodg'd in clarkenwell . splendida spoliis . clim clad of late in petticoats of wollen , is now with silks & sattins grown more sullen , who being askt how such might purchas'd be , faith onely for the taking vp ( quoth she . ) plagis mitior . katherine that grew so curst and fit for no man , with beating soone became a gentle-woman . aspirans desperans . better vnknighted ( had sir giles first thought it ) thē thus proue bankrupt who so dearly bought it , but that his old blacke gillian ere she dy'd must needs forsooth in hast be ladifi'd . iuvenis tonsus . that petrus proues so bald , and yet so yong , what one who sees him may but wonder at it , knowing how late his haire was thick and long : tut , come , t is quickly question'd whence he got it , not by the barbers rasor , nor his knife , but very neere , t' was by the barbers wife . antiqua ignota . ienkin must needs proue gentleman , and why ? by ancient rules fetcht from antiquity : true ; if so ancient as we doe not know , ienkins gentility must needs be so . ocreatus esuriens . of ben that braues it in white boots , it 's mutterd he feeds at home on carret roots vnbutterd . pecunia praevalens . hand off sir sauce-box : think you mrs phips allowes such lobs as you to touch her lips ? but then it s question'd further , if you bring her some legem pone , that 's another thing sir. mortua , mutata . svrdus this point will still insist vpon , though ioane his wife and he hate one another ; yet ought they howsoere be both as one , for that such matters maried men should smother : vntill she dead shall with the devill remaine , then must they be no longer one but twaine . esuriens avidus . let kitchin kate proue nere so foule or common all 's one to clogo , if she be a woman : who standing least on fashions finicall , falls to his businesse like a naturall . par , pari . sir miles his mens heads breaks for ought amiss , but then t is quid pro quo ; his maids break his . emens cogens . why blame you iaques of so iust a deed , as to prouide for matters necessary ? he did not buy his breeches without need , for true it was , he could no longer tary . pristina obliuiscens . pretus aspir'd to office , thinkes no more on those abhorred country carts and plowes , no not vpon the best of weeds he wore but th' other day : his place more worth allowes . what cares he who repines , or be agrieu'd , things are not now as when andrea liu'd . conscientia testis . what makes anthonio deeme himselfe vndone , be'ng quest'ned since his office first begun : but that a conscience tels him , quae sumuntur tam male parta , male dilabuntur . genitoris nesciens . tom askes no fathers blessing , if you note him , and wiser he vnlesse he knew who got him . non aquila muscas , &c. a bucksome lady of the last edition , woo'd by her seruingman , his suit denies , bidding him know ( with humble more submission ) that soaring eagles scorne to catch at flyes . credenti satis . young gallatea matcht with old st iohn , a goodly , sweet , and louely babe hath brought him , which makes so many muse so much vpon , that for these twelue yeeres haue vnable thought him surely there 's then some other supportation , or meerly must be done by inspiration . credens suadens . mad iealous mopsus , a man seene in arts , was told by one , his wife had worthy parts , to which he more outragious makes reply , how should this rascall such her parts desery ? spectatores deteriores . grace scornes to grieue at worst disgrace that 's told her , since t is her grace more graceless grooms behold her . nuda veritas . a question seem'd of late to be propounded , why lewes his loyns with lether were begirt the answer may you guesse might soon be grounded from naked truth , which was , he had no shirt . notus ignotus . behold yond grashopper clad all in greene , hat , cloake , and sute alike : for loue sake stop till he may more perspicuously be seene : pox hang him gull , has tane a coblers shop : and now remembring such a foist that rambles , his mother keeps a tripehouse neer the shambles ▪ clament perditores . ianus hath studied long to break a iest vpon these rimes , he doth so much detest , and can you blame him ? well he may be chiding , that hath so oft-times spur-galld bin with riding . dicta praedicta . battus breaks iests on any thing that 's spoken , prouided alwayes they before are broken . vxor imperans . grand sulmo sweares he 'll not commanded be by any mortall of what ere degree , and yet his little nan that scornes to aske it , makes the great lubber stoop and pin the basket . daemonum certamen . a broaker and an vsurer contended , which in 's profession was the most befriended and for experience , more to haue it tride , a scriuener must the difference decide : to whom quoth he , you like the fox and cub , one shall be mammon , th' other belzebub . verbum sat . proximius from his heart protesteth it , without long phrase or tedious repetition , he would more knaue become had he more wit , so that the case needs no more exposition . volens nolens . wil with prouiso wils you testifie , has made his will , but hath no wil to die . dulce quod vtile . who writes for stationers in any vaine , that brings not therwith present store of gain , let it of matters whatsoere containe , is sure to haue but labour for his paine . ictus sapit . when lucius came of late vnto the place where lidea was , with whō in times of yore he some hot dealings had : with fearfull face steps him in hast aside behind the doore , and being askt wherefore he came no nyer , oh sirs ( quoth he ) the burnt child dreads the fire . mutuans dissimulans . dick craftie borrowes to no other end , but for he will not ought to others lend , that else might aske him : t is some wisdome dick how ere accounted but a knauish tricke . ignota condonata . hodge wold you knew how honest he is grown onely desires excuse for scapes vnknowne . haedera vinum . claudus the vintner for his wiues sake sels great store of wine , and all prouision else : which to her guests she dearly doth afford , and yet contents them both at bed and board . vindictum muliebre . stoop foul-mouth'd malcus , & be whipt a while art not asham'd to call thy mistris whoore ? and wilt not such presumption reconcile , but vex her with thy vilenesse more and more ? well : looke she hire not them shall in the darke pay thee in priuate with a publike marke . vidua aurata . gallus hath got a widdow wondrous old , the reason is , he woo'd her for her gold : knowing her maids are young , and serue for hire , which is as much as gallus doth desire . coacta fiducia . perfidious milo liues on trust : t is true ; of them would hang him could they it eschew parcus prodigus . how comes it calvus liuing long by vse , should now in 's latter dayes proue so profuse ? oh sir , he got it in the times of euill , and now as franke affords it to the deuill . posteriora chariora . kit meeting kate , cals mouingly to mind , he had not kist her these three months or more and therefore hop't the long remaine behind might now be had , as kept for him in store : yes , ( answers kate ) may that your stomacke ease , as much behind at all times as you please . foelix infoelicibus . what makes menalchas to become so proud ? nothing that seems by honest course allow'd then must it needs be vice did him aduance , and onely happy is but by mischance . varietas , iniquitas . mat will not marry : true , cause ty'd to none , he may haue wēches new , whē th' old are gone quid fatuis ? daltus demands to whom i durst commend , or would deuise to dedicate my book , being for epigrams so poorely penn'd : my answer must be , prethee ( dolt ) goe look . signum saltem . marke yet how mopsus at my verses mewes , see how againe his rotten teeth he shewes : o let him ( if you loue me ) flout his fill , he knowes how to distinguish bad from ill : and though not trained vp in schooles hath been , yet keepes of bookes a cart-load to be seene . indicans-amans . that lambo loues good liquor , who denies it , or will the least in such defence oppose ; but then you 'll yeeld i hope , he deerly buyes it , witnesse the colour of his ruby nose . ebrius oblitus . fvcus was foxt last night , but t is conceal'd , and would not for his office t' were reueal'd . omnia pariter . ralph reades a line or two , and then cries mew , deeming all else according to those few : thou mightst haue thought , ( & prov'd a wiser lad ) ( as ioan her puddings boght ) some good , some bad nil magnis invidia . how comes it caius liues so en●ved at ? cause started vp ( you 'l say ) to such estate , and but so little learn'd . well , what of that , hath he not therefore a more reaching pate ? yes , and may truly tell them that repine , caius made haycocks whiles the sunne did shine . vt cecidit surgit . now martha married is , she 'll braue it out , though ne're so needy knowne to all about . and reason good she rise once in her life , that fell so oft before she was a wife . tacens cogitans . who calls rebecca whore , shall doe her wrong ▪ cannot he heare and see , and hold his tongue anguis in herba . what makes young brutus keepe his bed so long , not being sick ? pish , come you doe him wrong , to iudge so rashly : t is a deeper cure then doctors deale with , which he must endure . iactans timens . fell foughten furio swaggers , swels , and sweares , he 'll pull the stoutst and proudest by the eares : but finding some vnlookt-for opposite , seemes to admire what humour should incite that which he neere so much as dreamt : who he ? not for a world ( sir ) in the least degree . votum violatum . votus had vow'd he would doe nothing els but what necessity perforce compels : and yet so drunke was next day wondred at : tell me , is there necessity in that ? propria communis . pru proues a faire , but not a proper woman , true , for how can she proper be that 's commō ? sonans , non soluens . t was much that mat in musick so excelling , beyond report of skill by most mens telling , should amongst all those driblets not defraid , leaue the poore pudding-wife so long vnpaid . mercator scortator . deny 't not ( lalus ) th' art a secret letcher , and with thy trull hast oft bin seen to sport it hiring some laundresse or old nurse to fetch her vnto thy garden-house : tut nere retort it : not all the wares contain'd within thy shop , can halfe the mouthes of thine accusers stop . hortus improbus . gvido his garden-house towards the fields , little for pleasure , least for profit yeelds : and yet to leaue 't twill not his liking sort with , though but sometimes he begger-wenches sport with . verbera verbis . cocus pays debts w th words , & blows , & threats for those that trust him not , he soundly beats . rectius peius . wat went not well the ready way to worke , that lost all 's coyne at ticktack th' other day , ( hauing worse chance then ere had iew or turke , ) and yet went wat the ready way to play . fortunae obediendum . strange t was that ciuis thoght so wōdrous witty , so curious , quaint , and complementall nice , not to be paralleld throughout the citie for exquisite behauiour and aduice , should yet for all those choice perfections rare , proue himselfe bankrout ere he was aware . incertam mendacium . septimius brags he hoarded hath in store of bags of mony well neere halfe a score . t is sure of that vncertaine quantitie , as without question a most certaine lye . profunda scientia . sal can by science deep profunditie force you cry fough : ieronimo goe by . aequalis concensus . caecus and 's choyce , for change no time defers both separate , yet consenting each to eyther , he mayds for his turne takes , she men for hers , and so they iump , though seldome ioyne together . volenti satis . old cambrios wife being newly brought abed ( as luck would haue it ) of a goodly boy , the hopefull issue of her mayden-head , and onely iewell of the fathers ioy : one standing by her , prais'd her husbands skill , yes , true quoth she , the man did his good will. incognita suadeant . anna protests she nere had childe but one , and that by him contracted , should haue bin her husband had he liv'd : but dead and gone she scornes be questiond by your proudst of kin . nupta dignior . mal hath the mastery of her husband got . true ; much the sooner , cause she loues him not . optare frustra . there cannot proue to claudius such a curse , as still to finde in 's heart , and not in 's purse : but what the destinies will haue decreed , must be ( saith claudius ) wer 't to hang for need . subito sentiens . rogerus tells me vpon first of sight , these rymes of mine too sudden are compos'd who would haue thoght the fool had iumpt so right or could so sudden haue the same disclos'd ? yes why not ( pray ) so sudden in his speeches , as he late suddenly beraid his breeches ? a cunabilis orta . amie hath got an itch twice twelue yeares old , caught at the first she felt it from her mother , who if a man would hang her cannot hold , so neare they iump for filching like to other . formosa fragilis . besse wins all outward praise can set her forth , but closely trades : then what 's all praises worth ? fama infamia . wat hath of women won a wondrous name , how mean you ? wōdrous in the worser sense ? yes for hee wooes them with that wondrous shame in all his actions worth sr reuerence . nomine , non re . grace i confesse it , hath a comely face , good hand and foot as answerable to it : but what 's all this , except she had more grace ? oh you will say , t is want that makes her doe it . true , want of grace indeed , the more her shame , gracelesse by nature : onely grace by name . indigens occultans . why should the world and will so disagree , that he so closely sculks , and no man sees . i cannot ghesse the cause , vnlesse it be long of long-lane , and want of wonted sees . vt parta perdita . marcellus proues a man of double meanes , first rais'd by drunkards , thē vndone by queans fronte facies . svsan defies the slaue sayes black 's her eye , and may she on the matter , for t is gray : but su's a trull the towne can testifie , and will be whiles she liues who ere sayes nay . visum , manifestum . servus esteem'd his mistris passing chaste , and reason then had servus so t' esteeme her : but servus since the businesse gins distaste , and is perswaded he did much misdeeme her . for what he sees , besides so often told it , makes him for truth beleeue she cannot hold it . nouerint vniuersi . iack scorns be iealous , shold you nere so moue him come to his house els any man and proue him : worthy sayes iacke cornuted will despayre , that knowes his wiues true cariage to a hayre . vnus , duplex . dol brought abed seem'd to her husband loth he should bid godfathers and fathers both . tenebris ignotus . secretus walking in vnknowne disguise , by no meanes can endure the candlelight , not that it proues offensiue to his eyes , but loues vnknowne to drab it late at night . morans festinans . qvintinius questionlesse was quite belyed , that on the scores reported so did runne , when as ( the businesse plainly verified ) it proues a yeare since most of them begun . so that it must a paradox bewray thus fast to run and yet so still to stay . leuis facilis . tas bin a prouerb old , that work proues light which in performance most of hands can doe but t is to luce alluded not aright , that makes light worke and puts no hand thereto . vestitus peritus . clitus goes oft-times clad in sutes of scarlet , that else no colour had to play the varlet . somnus decipiens . dod sweetly dreamt this other night had found in gold and silver neere an hundred pound , but waking felt he was with fleas sore bitten , and further smelt he had his shirt be — suum cuique . a strange contention being lately had , which kind of musicke was the sweetst & best ; some prais'd the sprightly sound , and some the sad , some like the violls ; and among the rest , some in the bagpipes commendation spoke , ( quoth one stood by ) giue me a pipe of smoke . stabilis domina . what need bernardus feare of being bang'd by that old master , knowing wel his dame who cares not greatly if the hog were hang'd , stands twixt them both thogh he nere so to blame castus stultus . rvth matcht w th ralph must haue his maidenhead at lest is sure to bring the foole to bed . vtcunque generosandum . fie on thee fabius , one of thy faire meanes and found a bed with filthy oyster queanes ? han gt , if thine appetite must needs so hunger , thou mightst haue prou'd more generous a munger . fronte differentia . hodge th' art an honest troian , so is hugh , which equall seemes to giue no place to you , nay rich besides th' art hodg , and so is hugh , then where 's the difference pray twixt him & you ? harke , th' art a cuckold hodg , so is not hugh , and there 's the very oddes twixt him and you . quater insaniuimus . franciscus feasts it foure times euery yeare , vpon the getting of his quarters fees , which bounteously he spends as doth appeare , and three months after feeds on bread and cheese . laetior notior . silus seemes sad though there 's no cause wherfor for being mery would proue foole much more . emptum permanens . what need had gregory more to vnderstand , thē should concern him to subscribe his had so long 's his grandsires plow at first had wrought it and his dads money now so dearly bought it . imperans impotens . mvch had montanus need be wise , and fearing in case of conscience what 's fit to doe , that iustice giues for peace and good abearing , and nere yet learn'd the rules belongs thereto . yes ; has the statutes and those precedents which mens obiections many a one preuents . alit credulitas . galfridus well preoccupates betimes , i tax not him in any of my rimes : and wiser he to liue without suspition , are there not drunkards more of his condition ? nasus indicans . dacus with surgeons deales , but what of that ? tax him who will , he 'll beare a nose that 's flat . ingeniosa , lasciua . kate ( i confesse it ) hath a ready wit , but such a fault as much confoundeth it : for as she 's iesting when the fit comes on her , so suffers she men iest too much vpon her . pulchra periculosa . who sees sabinas outside but will say , she 's most exceeding modest , yong & fair , for nought those paintings doe her looks bewray , or is discern'd her eye-browes want of haire : much lesse describes her alablaster skin , how rotten and corrupt she is within . surgens prostrata . ask lettice where she lyes ; she 'll say in towne , but ( lettice ) whereabouts ? faith vp and down true : i beleeu 't , for since thou knewst the towne , thy dealings euer haue beene vp and downe . agilis inculpabilis . priss dares pronounce her actions yet in prime , cannot approue her bawd before her time . socius ad scaelera . a health sayes lucas to his loues bright eye , which not to pledge were much indignity , you cannot doe him greater courtesie , then to be drunke and damn'd for company . quis ego , &c. rvfus in rage the pots flings downe the staires , and threats to pull the drawer by the eares , for giuing such attendance : slaue sayes he where 's thine obseruance : ha ? must such as we be no more waited on ? go ; bring to pay , and keepe my rapier till i come this way . pudet sui . what made braue brusus shift his dwelling place where he so seem'd to flourish but of late : harke in your eare : he dares not show his face , since he was burd'ned so for stealing plate . secreta necessitas . what makes f.g. weare still one paire of hose . ask banks the broker ; he the busi●es knows . dirigens diabolus . who sees proud lucius mounted thus aloft , but may admire how much the times haue wrought only this mischiefe certain still remains , whiles lucius rides , the deuill directs the raynes . novus ortus , &c. frō cart to court on cockhorse caius vaūts him in that aspiring pomp as doth surpasse , but here 's the plaguie spite , his kindred haunts him , and tels the kitchin-groomes whose son he was : but what shold that ( proud caius ) need dismay thee when better then thy selfe thou seest obey thee ? ignotus sibi . fastidius finds it , nimis vltra posse , how to distinguish of teipsum nosce : i doe not maruell much it should be so , for why the coxcomb will himselfe not know . vt pluma persona . why weares laurentius such a lofty fether ? because he 's proud & foolish both together . audax mendax . nanus would proue an epigrammatist , who vaunting much on termes of had-i-wist , said ( vncontroull'd ) he more then i had wrote : but i as bold , gaue him the lye in 's throat . spernendura vulgus . what tell ye me of epigrammicke toyes , ( sayes signior sotus ) fitter stuffe for boyes : so much he 's vext at any mans inuention , which to his vnderstanding makes no mention : who would be mou'd with those so poore disgraces grown from such grooms , not spitting in their faces inexorabilis vxor . ben cowardly to blame ▪ his wife beseeches she would but hold her hands , & take the breeches who scorning least his words to think vpon , the more he begs , the more she layes him on . postrema pessima . cacus in 's cunning nere so prov'd o're-retcht , as now at last , who must be halterstretcht . moriturus ante paraturus . sil cannot sleepe at nights , and wote you why ? not that he meditates on least good action , but onely knowing that the slaue must dye , who to the world hath made no satisfaction . tandem diabolo . tell me maximius , ( prethee ) why dost liue , still to enioy this earthly habitation ? and nere cast vp th' account which thou must giue for such thy wealths abusiue vsurpation ? what doe thy doctors longer seeke to saue thee , but for thy money till the deuill must haue thee . nil pocula . dicke in a day can purchase more with 's pen , then iane his wife by all those gentlemen that drink tobacco in his house at large , but that ( sayes dicke ) will not the rent discharge . vt vixit morietur . qvintus to make his will be'ng late requested , refusde it , saying , he would die detested . dedicus durabile . had dru but drunk been vaine t 'had prou'd to write out being a subiect of so poore a strain , but dru berayd himselfe , there grew the spite out such as he ne're could since make cleane againe . pestis ineuitabilis . zfut say , could saltus more then pawn his sword to ralph the cobler for those russet shooes ; and yet the scoundrell would not take his word , but must you see his reputation lose ? nor was it that which halfe so much had shamde him , had not the rascall fore his mistresse namde him . obligatio terribilis . mat that stood musing on the scriueners band thought with himselfe dooms day was ne're at hand , till entring on discourse of further reason knew then the times compeld him out of season . carne carnifici . hvgo for venison hot , the side or hanch , ventures his necke assone as for a wench . timidus astutus . see how submissiue faunus greets his foe , with cap and knee ; would you the reason know he hath so oft been knockt , as now he feares , there 's no euasion for his asses eares . expertus mendicus . t is much that nath , who can so well indite , can so exactly play vpon the lute , can so familiarly both talke and write , and can in latine pro et con dispute , should yet for all those cans of skill so deere . not able purchase him one can of beere . al●a , vina , &c. if signeor gallus by his weekely gaine , could house , & horse , & hauke , & hound maintaine how should he now become so poore a scabb , surely by dice , or drinke , or doll that drabb . magnus minimis . dacus hath beene in 's dayes a man of note , onely for wenching , nothing else i wote . mutata casualia . young lanus loues to haunt such ordinarie where he hath most been heretofore vnknown that on his backe he some old cloak may cary there to exchange for better then his owne . elatus humilis . why asks sir lewes where mrs lucresse lyes ? or wherefore she so oft her lodging shifts , but that he would be leud ? let it suffice , your men ( sir lewes ) too much perceiue your drifts : who still are told ( how ere your greatnes swaggers ) that you too bold haue bin to blame with beggers . debitum triennium . good cause had gluto for himselfe to say , shall not these glories last but for a day ? whose weeds which at st georges feast he wore , haue not these three years scapt the mercers score . ecce signum . would any man make question phil's not faire , let him but look else on her yellow hayre . constans , implacabilis . pray vrge not romulus to take a wife , that hath so vow'd it , you 'll but vex him more , therefore desist , and moue him not to strife , that is ( you see ) so constant to his — videremur tamen . cresus would seem to haue his conscience clear from touch or blemish of the worlds suspition but tell me ( cresus ) how can that appeare , when all that see thee know thy lewd condition , how true a villaine from thine infancy thou hast beene , art , and so intendst to die . vere & hyeme . oft haue i studied and much wondred what makes franke ( so feeding ) look so lean withall ; pox , now i thinke on t , t is no more but that old griefe you wote of comes at spring and fall . brevius gratius . bvt that to write thus briefly i propos'd , ( clos'd thou hadst beene ( francus ) more at large dis - communia vilia . call parnel punck , albeit the cause you show not , or instance therto do alledg not any . thus answers she , pray tell me what i know not , for this too oft times hath been told by many . veritas nuda . rachel translated in her ruffe of yellow , to change that habit swears she 'le not endure it though ne're so flouted by each filthy fellow , not that her gettings can so well procure it : but to speake freely gainst all taunts and checks , rachel indeed hath no more ruffes then necks . non redimens egens . ioane to redeeme the times perforce is drawne , but cannot yet redeeme her rags from pawne : which is the cause her gaines no more arises , but must needs yeeld to such poore petty prizes . intus occultum . sve cannot soundly be to loue allured , true , till in time she of the p. be cured . facies ignota . why should not rubin rich apparell weare , that 's left more mony then an asse can bear ▪ can any guesse him by his outward guise , but that he may be generous and wise ? sciens nesciens . cosmus by custome taunts each man , and yet can nought of reason skan , how can that be , when who knowes least knowes he should wise be that will ieast : then thus , no further i allow , that cosmus knowes , but knowes not how . histrio-poeta . tvrnus hath got an itch in poetry , and for that cause haunts players company , as cast-off-chambermaids conuert to drabs , so may his itch in time break out to scabs . capax incopabilis . produs in 's office proues no cunning scribe , yet hath he cunning learnt to take a bribe . certa dissimulans . mounsier pieros wife trades all in french , and coyly simpring cryes pardona moy . as who should thinke shee s sure no common wēch but a most true dissembler par mafoy . sperans vtcumque pru that by mariage ment herselfe t' aduance , is now compeld by that vnlucky chance , left by her lord who no amends would make , to match thus as you see for fashion sake . but time she doubts not will ere long procure it , ( as were she laid once ) thinke you shee le endure it ? ignis et aqua . trollus tobacco vowes will ne're forsake , nor wenching , carelesse wch for cost's the greater th' one for a cooler forst ( sayes ) needs must take , th' other appeares ( it seems ) too sore a heater . multorum nullus . rose in her reckoning hath so ouer gone it , as whō to name she now no more thinks on it . vt corvus ovum . parvus that pettilogger term'd to be , not getting in a tearme an honest fee , picks that dependance gratis from his daughter , which she affords him by a trick that 's taught her . expertus certus . grunto would proue a scurvy divinator , able of times fore-seeing dangers tell : who hauing beene an ancient fornicator , with that too late infectious feeling nell , is now resolv'd past help of cordiall food , no doctors skill will henceforth doe him good . astutus vrbanus . pond paid not lesse then twenty to the pound , that late thrice bankrout was . how may that be ? yes , by a cunning fraud , no more was found to giue , but seuen to each . the more knaue he . dubium indubitatum say parnels children proue not one like th' other , the best is yet shee 's sure th 'ad all one mother . vivens mortuis . what makes yong brutus bear so high his head and on the sudden gallant it so braue ? pray vnderstand sir's father's newly dead , who hath so long beene wisht for laid in 's graue ▪ inexorabilis inops . braue captaine medon can no more endure to liue in england , then to brooke the lye : pox of perswasions , can they him allure from furthest parts , where he must liue and dye ? vrge it no more i tell you , t will but grieue him , for here no longer may his friends relieue him . necessi●●ti obediendum . bettrice defies him basest of condition , durst least but crosse her humors disposition ▪ and that the hold-my-staffe her husband knowes , who spaniell-like stoopes still at her dispose . clamans asinus . who sayes tom tipstaffe is no man of calling , can any cryer at sessions be more bauling ? vivens pictura . lincus the painter limms vnto the life , all sorts of features , sauing ioane his wife ▪ of whom ( saith lincus ) it s not questioned , why she so liuing , should be limbd : but dead . sapiens natura . should planus know more terms or trickes of art , then have beene still observ'd by imitation , bred as you see him bluntly , for his part , according to the home-spun country fashion : yet by your leaue , although vnlearn'd in schoole , planus may passe for no such common — notum , frustra . rvfus i le ryme vpon thee whiles i liue , and yet no notice to thy neighbours giue ; that can decypher thee in other fashion then shall my penn by ryming make relation . periens spernens . ask not why priss no more with plumes adorns it , shee 's grown so poore a — sir as she scornes it . dupliciter parta . mark but how vpstart yong mercutio iets it : wold not a man much wōder how he gets it ? faith by no cunning or inuentions fraud . his mother 's partly broker , partly b — veritas coacta . young prodigus to blame rebuk'd his page , because his tarying had so long been such . who boldly told the truth spite of his rage : which was , the broker would not lend so much . wherein had prodigus beene more aduis'd , the standers by had not so much surmis'd . spe deterior . see how the fates gainst spruso had compacted , that to so rich a wife , but new contracted , must meet so iump that scuruy execution , which since hath prov'd his vtter dissolution . sero revocabile . if turnus now were free as erst from matching , he nere would subiect be to wiues for scratching . coactus fur . marke for a word mistaking of but stand , that shold in stead therof haue said good morrow hath ( past all helpe ) bin twice burnt in the hand , lōg of such will not lēd when mark wold borrow . tunica sempiterna . kit cannot yet his mourning cloake giue ore , which he procur'd the last great funerall : and swore so long since he would weare no more , on best intreats or tearmes conditionall . pish , come you might those flowting iests for beare , knowing he hath no other cloake to weare . perfidus odiosus . how durst iustinius of his mistresse blab , that he hath seen or known she plaid the drab worthy to fast , or pine through penury , could fare so well , and needs must roast-meat cry . certus furtis . clem would be prais'd for constancy in dealing , a constant theefe ( t is true ) onely for stealing . sperando periens . hodg hyr'd him such a house , at such a rent , as might gainst mariage much his state augment but lingring fates did so his hopes preuent , as hodg perforce must flye , for all was spent . vxor evertens . what cause hath phaedra ( sayes she ) so to feare the poore aspersions of the viler sort , admit her husband late a bankrout were , must she disparag'd be by such report ? yes certaine ( phaedra ) for that halfe cheap-side knowes you procur'd it by your whorish pride . sitiens dissimulans . dod drinks not but at meals , & why d' ye think ? not that he sparing is or loath to pay , but meerly and indeed for want of chink , which is the cause makes dod goe dry away . domina praedominans . ill may radulphus boast of rule or riches , that lets his wife rule him , & weare the breeches . inexpectatum datum . what should leane trocus with fat tom contēd which to the flesh might least addicted be , who growne so grosse may thus himselfe defend , he seekes for that which freely's giuen to thee . pergens pendens . ralph grown outragious , railes vpon my rimes , which by no meanes his malice can endure , but cals them scums , and riff-raffes of the times ; ( onely to keep his poysnous tongue in vre ) doe ralph , deuise what worse thou canst intend , that done , goe hang thy selfe , and there 's an end . parcus profusus . old doting claudus that rich miser knowne , made drunk one night , and iumbling but with ioane , was forst not onely to discharge the shot , but keepe the bastard which the gull nere got . calce ornatus . why weares young iockie such a jinling spur ? oh sir , he deales with iades that wil not stur asinus transmarinas . promus the puritaine no longer feares the worst of menacing his asses eares : for spite ( saith he ) of threats or epigram , t is but remouing hence to amsterdam . casus mutatus . how dare you talke of tassus whence he sprung admit perhaps descended from the dung , who knowes not , or might know , what 's then was than , tassus is now ( you see ) another man , able the proudest of those lads controule , that whilome durst affront him cheeke by ioule . proficiat , &c. if iealous cosmus will be such a child , as causelesse needs assume these lines vnto him , i can but shew my selfe true reconcil'd , or els must wish that they much good may do him . instabilis stans . mat being drunken much his anger wreakes on 's wife ; but stands to nothing that he speaks reus sine re . why shold poor humphry walking but to 〈◊〉 with collins daughter be condemned so , as to be said was closely taken napping , who did but kisse her , and so let her goe . tunc tua res agitur . a iealous merchant , that a sailer met , askt him the reason why he meant to marry , knowing what ill their absence might beget , that long at sea constrained are to tarry . sir ( quoth the sailor ) make you that so strange ? it s done the time while you but walk th' exchange . fortiferendum . say prethee ( lusco ) where didst lodge last night ? hark in thine eare , ( haue i not hit it right . ) come come , confesse . better then thou or i haue on the hay-loft oft beene forst to lye . ignotus asinus . nanus at noddy least in any sort desires to play , but loues to see the sport . vltimum capistrum . bartellus bragging how he liu'd by 's wit , and nere was yet for least offence committed , is now past hope , there 's nought can him acquit , but must at last be needs for tiburne fitted . alius , altior . would you with caius offer now confer in such familiar sort as heretofore ? and not obserue he 's growne an officer , that lookes for adoration ten times more ? tut , what of pedegree , or turpe domo , t is not so now you see ; nam ecce homo . filius matris . what lets thee ( ionathan ) thou shouldst not be as honest as thy father ? say , was he so great a wencher ? sure i take it not , and yet he ambling , might thy mother trot . silons simplex . will would seeme wise , & many words let pass , speaking but little cause he 's such an — videat taceat . drusus not deignes the least of retrospect on these rude rimes , he doth so much reiect whether more strange i know not , or vnkind , but drusus feares he here himselfe doth find . infundo cineres . strāge was it ( mun ) thy mother broght forth thee mongst all her children so deform'd a creature , for how indeed can it but wondred be , that she so faire , thou shouldst be of that feature : the reason may be thus ( if not too grosse ) there was no mettall left besides the drosse . bonum pro male . parnel in publike questioning my name , sayes in her anger she has done with me : but i le not be reueng'd so much for shame , to tell the world what i haue done with thee . empta nostra . madam la foy weares not those locks for nought ask at the shop else where the same she bought vt caput crimina . of thee sir miles too much cannot be said , for medling with black besse the kitchin maid no more those dealings are discernd of late , then is that periwig vpon thy pate . dubiens decipiens . why should young lelio think i loue him not , or with the least of iealousie suppose , these rymes of mine so rude and mis-begot , should like strong mustard take him by the nose : sure there 's some matter in 't which makes him doubt , he such a stinckard should be so smelt out . vtcunque superbus . proud celso knowes since his aspiring state , that those who fear him most , do most him hate yet scornes to take it least for counter-checke , though change hereafter chance to break his neck . principia sordida . bassus of lands good store , and leases , farmes , whose mother milkpails bore ere he bore armes experto credendum . how durst capritius call his wedlock whore , but that he speakes it plus quam per narratum , nam ipso teste : what require you more , vnlesse you 'ld haue it magis approbatum . tandem vlciscatur . how durst you call in question mistris maud , because her name a little was disgrac'd ? put case her mother prov'd a kind of b. must that conclude her ere the more vnchast ? wel , luck ( she doubts not ) but may one day lend her to find that flat-cap out which shall defend her . vt freta , fortuna . ask dacus how his luck at dicing goes , like to the tide ( saith he ) it ebbs and flowes ; then i suppose the same cannot be good , for all men knows t is longer ebbe then flood . pecunia praevalens . tell tom of platoes worth , or aristotles ? hang 't , giue him wealth enough , let wit stop botles ortus indicans . deriue thy pedegre . ( hugh ) nere so high from great cadwallider , or brutus sonne , thou canst not blaze it from true heraldry , but wilt a bastard proue when all is done . admiretur vulgus . magus a man of artificiall trade , most confident beleeues , and will auerre , these epigrams of mine are meant and made by persons knowne , in each particuler : come ( magus ) thou hast borne a iealous head ere since thy wife was found with one a bed . eadem cupiens . maria meanes to match with such a mome , as shall not tax her in the least behauour , neither for matters past , nor what 's to come : prouided , y' are a queane ( mal ) by your fauour . porcis proclivis . priscilla proues to pigs flesh much inclin'd , doubtlesse descended from some hoggish kind . debitum consuetum . tib scornes be taxt for dearnesse in her trade , that takes for hire but as your hackney iade , prouided you depart ere candle-light , or pay her double , if you stay all night . vestigia matris . that tom'sin's turn'd true trul who would beleeue or to those outward looks least credit giue , that not attaind to yet full fourteene yeeres , so duly drabs it , drinkes , and don●●neers ; acting her mothers steps , as on a stage , who had a bastard iust about that age . patientia inimica . pru that had patience to haue borne with any , and lou'd plain dealing , witness al that knows her is now vndone , by braving one to many : so that you see plaine-dealing ouer-throwes her . vt cornua crines . mat will maintain , that horns and hory haires come by haphazard , much more thē by yeres inuita chasta . mildred from mariage meanes her selfe abiure ; for certaine reasons she 's asham'd to speake , and which remedilesse she cannot cure , lesse able hold but needs perforce must i — verbum sat . be prouder still ( young spruso ) spite of foes ; what ? pull thy selfe already by the nose ? as if some fatall oracle foretold , thou hast too long beene malepertly bold : well : take it then , and thankfull goe thy way , thou knowst well ( spruso ) what i worse could say eques solis . sir sol can dance , and turne , and stoutly eat , but cannot foole halfe well to earne his meat , plead almes ( sir sol ) where thou maist get a dinner or starue thy selfe , thou canst not look more thinner trahens officina . sardinios wife tobacco sells for fashion , but keepes a house of other occupation . facile responsum . lvscus that lately so much brawne did eate , was told by him that gaue it ; you friend mine know you what longeth to such kind of meat ? yes ( sir ) quoth he , a cup of muscadine . stolidus stolidior . a booke of epigrams , and made by me ? it s some sweet stuffe , dares william warrant ye who nere least meddles or will haue to doe with what opinion leads him not vnto : but william seem'd not well to vnderstand , when 's wife was purchas'd at the second hand . patiens armatus . egidius will proue patient spite of fortune , let worst of chāce him nere so much importune he 'll be the same in losing as in winning , a patient c — from the first beginning . tandem manifestum . kath'rine that hid those candles out of sight , might well conceiue they 'll come at length to light . veritas subverta . lvke that a man on horse-backe met but late , would simply seeme thus to equiuocate , and strōg maintain gainst who cōtend should dare t was meerly but a taylor and a mare . haec fabula non . acteon-like keepes hounds to hunt , not to be puld downe as acteon was : that were a businesse would appeare too blunt , by poets fain'd , but nere seene come to passe : th' one of diana ancient stories tell , th' other of anne his wife is knowne too well . canis ad vomitum . lampus that left his lowzy occupation , and liues now ( as you see ) in other fashion : must yet resume his natures former habit , which either vseth to be drunk , or drab it . ebria , prostrata . francke at first motion no mans face endures , but being drunke , she 's then for euer yours . stabilis fiducia . qvintus will needs be knowne a man of trust that stands vpon his credit firme and iust . indeed i oft haue heard the chandler talke , how firme his credit stands vpon the chalke . empta poenitentia . iacke to his iug in feeling passion swore , he would approue her a polluted — whose tempting outward looks , & borrowed locks , and inwardly defil'd , giuen him the — thou ly'st ( quoth iug ) t was what thy mony bought how deare so ere thou paidst , i gaue thee nought . non omnibus dormiens . say mal be but a chambermaid , what then ? must she proue packhorse for all kind of men ? yes more then time they think her as their owne : alas her cariage hath beene too well knowne . fragilis , lubrica . sib much disdaines the world should find her slip , but ( sib ) t is knowne who had you on the hip . satis optasse . old limpus faine would liue & see good daies , fully attain'd to threescore yeares and ten , who though from wenching much his strength decayes yet has he will as well as youngest men . sublimis prostratus . mounseur lorenzo since his office lost , wherein of late he liu'd a great comander , walkes discontented like the angry ghost of proud tarquinius , or pope alexander : whom fates enuying should so domineere , haue flung downe headlong with a full carere . quae data , nostra . brutus cōplain'd his wife did nought him bring or since her mariage gaue him any thing : to whom ( quoth she ) y' are much to blame to braul , bring i not boyes without your helpe at all ? citò benè . sir iohn at mattins prayes he might dispatch , who by true promise is to bowle a match . nocte latent mendae . that susans ruffes and cuffes should so much cost , hauing but two poore lockram smockes at most , it s much admir'd ; but that the one in sight , obscures the other best by candle-light . caeca ad scaelera . nisa that from her window glaunst her eyes , saw mopsus come as fast as foot could trot : for ioy whereof , vpon her bed she lyes , ( as who should thinke she slept and saw him not ) t was strange ( me thought ) vnlesse she meant herein her eyes should not be open to her sinne . tandem solutus . ask swaggering sulmo why no debts he 'll pay , his answer is , things must be as they may : let bils or nouerints sink ( saith he ) or swim , h'ell not his laundresse pay : but she payd him . infirmis animosus . pontus by no meanes from his coyne departs , zfut will ye haue of men more then their harts ? vxor superior . whē nau finds nicholas drunk she straight cornutes him , nor from her scolding in an houre can cease : but if nick call her punk her words confutes him , so that the cockscomb's forst to hold his peace . antonius philosophus . old clerco sues for pension of the state , for it he pleads the wit he sometime had , who though he haue a flawed riuen pate , yet will not i ( as others ) call him mad , nor pull his beard , nor vse him like a sot , this is the onely cause he loues me not . longius pro lucro . goe follow lucius a far off thy lord , what thogh thy place be not to speak a word yet for a silent pander proud maist be , his lordship deignes to make that vse of thee . equus peritior . gill by his gelding drowning scap't perforce , who reason had to say , gramarcy horse . primus vel proximus . dick's not in town when 's wife is broght in bed but might no doubt be when she first was sped vsus natura . tristram tobacco takes in 's bed till noone , then rising dines , drinks drunk , & fals to dice , sweares he 'll not budge till all be lost or won : sees next a play , or kate his cockatrice : sups at some bawdy house , and panders meets , that picks his pockets , as he 's homewards led : cals thē a thousand rogues : reels throgh the streets , drinks more tobacco , spues , and goes to bed . diues-scurra . dru dares good men depraue because he 's rich , whether more fool or knaue i know not w th . sat fuisse . thogh steel for strēgth hath lōg since spent his prime yet was a man of mettall in his time . mutatus , alius . young signior spruso scorning late conuerse with men of vulgar trade , or meane commerse , scorning to lodge but on a bed of downe , scorning your innes of common country towne , scorning but on best delicates to feed , yea scorning almost , any thing indeed : now poore and prostitute , you may beleeue him , in wood-street cōpter , scorns no alms you 'l giue him edens vomens . cacus that sups so duely at the rose , casts vp the reckning truly ere he goes . citius soluendum . trocus his tenants will no more pay rent , till for their wiues he first giue them content : it 's reason trocus without coyne disbursing , get them with child and nere allow for nursing ? suumcuique . hang 't tell not me quoth pontus what i owe , nor what i spend , nor what i meane to pay , so little cares he what the vulgar know , or can reueale : things must be as they may , let slanes infer the worst they can vpon 't , his dol's his dol and there 's the humor on 't . infirmis experientia . old strato stands vpon his tackling stout , he can as well as erst he could hold out : to whom quoth ioane his wife , men laugh that win , t is knowne you cannot halfe so well hold in . magnus statura . lvscus for largenesse of his limbs and bone , at grasse time next growes vp to twenty one , in zoylum . zoylus , i heare you take my rimes in snuffe , cry fie , 't is ribaldry , or some such stuffe : but zoylus know , i scorne to deale with you . he writes foule stuffe , that treats of your base crew . cupiens culpare , nescit . dorus disdaines these epigrams i make , saying they sauor not of ought that 's in them : nay , which is more then that , hee 'll vndertake they are but stinking-stuffe ere you begin them : and yet before ( quoth he ) they sauour'd not : see how the buzzard talkes he knowes not what . vera filia patris . why striues yong galatea for the wall ? if needs you 'll know the cause ( qd . one ) you shall : her father was a mason , and they say it makes her ladiship leane much that way . sero sapimus . lvke that on latine lately scorn'd to looke , wold now read english might he haue his book iactans pediculosus . matho from sea hath such a purchase brought , as is not frequent , or of each man bought . which to divulgate matho proues not nice . nothing else ( damne him ) but outlandish lice . adnioniti foeliciores . matura weary of the country life , complains her husband nere to london brought her ▪ that hath this twelue month prou'd his honest wife and not consented scarce to one that fought her . but bids him roundly herewith looke vnto 't be he a tinker , next that comes shall doe 't . tonsores pauperiores . cvtbert admires how lawyers get so much , and that his commings in should not be such , who hath beene knowne a poler and a shauer these forty yeares , yet nere could proue a sauer . ferendo feruens . mvch moues not mal , but let the quean be mou'd hee 'l find she 's hot that hath her next approu'd . fatales poetae . witches & poets coimbrace like fate reputed base , bare , poore , vnfortunate , in these respects i may my selfe intrude , among the poets thickest multitude . materia pro forma . lvcina hath a loue whose name is goose , a proper lad , well borne , and wondrous spruce , she likes the man , but cannot brooke his name . if that be all ( sweet lucr ) you are to blame , the man you may commit into your hands , for why the babes he gets may proue all swans . admonita peior . priss dares thus plainely to the world appeale , since women that deale plaine are balladizd , shee le with the world no longer plainly deale , or mongst plaine dealing people be comprizd . triamala . the whore , tobacco and strong waters meet , like three grand plagues almost in euery street . vsus promptos facit . raechel at first would raile vpon her man , that scarce at first could bear himself before her : nor almost which way looke or hold her fan , but now ( thanks fortune ) finely can come o're her . secreta nobis . tassus from temple-stayres by water goes to westminster , and backe to temple rowes : belike he loues not trot too much the street , or surbait on the stones his tender feet : tut come , there 's something in 't must not be known but sir , beleeue 't , the debt is not his owne . plus canis ictus amat . creta that closely could her secrets couer , fain'd to be iealous of her loathed spouse ; which he beleeu'd ( god wot ) & more did loue her presuming , london not her like allowes . well , goe thy wayes ( thought i ) hold on thy trade , th art euen the truest he whom god nere made . laudes cum labe . caius commends his mistris many wayes , to be the mirror of admired praise : wer 't not for two foule reasons that ensue , shee 's sometimes drunke , and playes the w. nequicquam verba . will wooes his wench with words of eloquence , praying he might her corps enthalamize : and of his loue impart that influence , which with her liking best may simpathize . she , who regardlesse at his speech doth spurne , saith ; t is not words of art must serue her turne . tandem possimus . zanthus was zealous bent , but could not please his lady mistresse , he so long had serued : nor by his best attendance once , but ease or stay his stomacke , if he should haue starued . till forst with famine , found her in that snare , which since to silence zanthus takes his share . viuit et edat . when gluto goes to dine at th' ordinarie , to stay his stomack eates a crust & drinks : then calls for victuals , sweares he cannot tary , which till it comes , a moneth each minute thinks : then sits him downe , and takes the highest place , puts salt on 's trencher , cuts a loafe in twaine , and nere remembers ought of saying grace , the sight of meat so captiuates his braine : whereto he lurching , so about him layes , as must suffice him for at least two dayes . patientia vindicta . cvcullus euermore will cary sway ouer his wife in strangers company : and on her lips his loathed fingers lay , which patient she puts vp in policy : but with herselfe resolu'd in secret vowes , to pay him next day soundly on the browes . caelat sua crimina sanctis . cvrta hath now no coulour or inuasion , to meet or frolicke as time late permitted , because her husband barres vp all occasion , that for such pleasures and aduantage fitted : keepes her from going to her childe at nurse , denyes accesse vnto her garden-house : for which she giues him many a bitter curse , and sweares , she not esteemes his threats a louse . the best escape her cunning can deuise , is once a weeke to blacke-fryers exercise . curanda praesentia . lettice that late was so resolu'd to marry , on more aduice wil now this twelue month tary how should she sooner else indeed dispose of the yong bastard where withall she goes . mutuans meretrix . when dol wants money she desires to borrow no more then ( damne her ) shee le repay tomorrow citius matura . madge at fifteen a mayd ? should men abhor her she vows & swears it , t were but fitting for her perditum tempus . vincent hath wrung the wooll of his inuention , and cannot find least liquid substance left , that to succeeding hopes makes further mention , so barren are his braines of sense bereft : and which is worse , t was to haue paid the score for meat and drinke he to so many owes , that henceforth vows to credit him no more : then how to shift full little vincent knowes : but must despairing , raile vpon the muses , that of his time hath made no better vses . vxor fortier . will by the wars would seeme a dominierer , but an his wife hath bin the ancient-bearer merxconcelata . codrus at christmas casts vp his accounts , what he hath clearly got the yeere before , but neuer notes what 's wiues receipts amounts , which valued would arise to ten times more . indeed his wares in open shop were sold , whiles she scarce hers in priuate durst vnfold . how much might men commend the worth of those , that well could pen their epigrams in prose , for many rimes roue oft so far from reason , as but of times consisting are , not season . ad momum . maist thou nere read my lines , or hear them read , or see them ( momus ) for i wish thee dead . coacta ferenda . these rimes you see , vnknown , compos'd , conceall'd , had nere by me beene showne , disclos'd , reueald , much lesse at latter lammas past in print , had not some secret reason since beene in 't : which volens nolens caus'd me afterwards shuffle againe , and deale about the cards . epitaphs . on m. thomas fitton , and his wife winifred . on fat tom fitton , and his leane wife win , may thus be written , here lyes thick and thin . on a faire young maid . behold here time inters , who would not spare those cornly corps of hers , which worms must share on edward alcocke . cause of the dead nought must be said but good t is well for ned that nought be vnderstood . on iohn garret . gone is iohn garret , who to all mens thinking , for loue to claret , kil'd himself with drinking . on mistris bonner . whiles mrs . bonner , dressing was her head , death stole vpon her , & so strook her dead . on thom. cromwell . here lyes tom. cromwell , did much mony spend louing a bom well to his latest end . on gregory the drawer . greg. laid in 's graue , who cā but deep deplore it that so much liquor gaue , & scorn'd to score it on kate hill. here lies a maid whom men call'd katherin hil that true was said , dy'd much against her wil. on a poore fidler . dead was that fidler found the fifth of iune , whose thē sweet musicks foūd wēt out of tune . on a rich tanner . here buried now you see our brother tanner , whose skin must curried be in other manner . on a gardner . those fragrant roses on thy coffin spred , thy corps incloses with thee ( liuing ) dead . on a gallant . who cloth of tissue wore , here flat doth lye , hauing no issue , more then that in 's thigh . on a cobler . see how pale death , which no man may withstand , hath stopt his breath was on the mending hand . on a ioyner . lo here from strife rests honest iohn our ioyner , who all his life was neuer knowne purloener . on a player . he that on stages oft-times iesting plaid , to after ages hath now earnest payd , on a proud rich man. he that so proud late liu'd , and spar'd no cost in lockram shroud lies buried in the frost . on a traueller . who traueld oft from countries east and west , still gaining nought , now rich at length doth rest . on iohn west . here lyes iohn west , who wearied with a wife , for quiet rest , desir'd to end his life . on george rust. rvst laid in dust , see how his son is rais'd , that liu'd on trust till now , the lord be praisd . on old ralph . old ralph bereft of this life transitory , the world hath left , which made him wondrous sory . on a porter . thou from a porters trade ( bearing ) we see , hast other porters made by bearing thee . on a waterman . here sleeps will slater , who by deaths command , hath left the water , to possesse the land . on a great personage . lo here 's his greatnesse laid , which whiles it stood was seldome seen or said did any good . on a taylor . cruell was atropos to cut his threds , made garments fit for those , now turn'd to shreds . on dol prowt . here lyes dol prowt , whose dayes ( left death should wrong her , ) were so worne out , as she could liue no longer . on stephen spooner . death hath time borrowed of our neighbour spooner , whose wife much sorrowed that he dy'd no sooner . on iohn long. here sleeps i. long , who liu'd till newyears tide full fourscore strong , but then fell sick & dy'd . on a bellowes maker . who so much breath to others daily sold , for want of breath , no longer life can hold . on a welchman . who liuing least espy'd his life should leese , by meere mathegglin dy'd and tosted cheese on a tobacconist . who much tobacco puft more then his part , with smoake his lungs had stuft , but had no heart . on old iohn a tree . let all men passing by behold and see , here low doth buryed lye , old iohn a tree . on a mad man. he now in sadnesse layd is in his graue , that late with madnesse did so raile and raue . on a iugler . he that so skilfull could play fast and loose , kild himselfe wilfull , eating so much goose. on mal keeme . death it should seeme with doome too much oredeeming , hath tane mal keeme before her time of teeming . on mistris bab. death playd the scab , that had so soon enthrald fine mistris bab , not knocking ere it cald . on a sluggard . somnus that slept his fill in time of need , prayes you accept the will as for the deed . in samuelem . sam of a surfet dy'd : thought rich to be , but how you 'ld proue that tride , pray ask not me on iohn cooling , a player . death hath too soon remou'd from vs io. cooling that was so well belou'd , and liu'd by fooling . in thomam speed. mad wenches bewaile you , for dead is tom speed was nere wont to faile you at all times of need . in walterum moone . here lyes wat moone , that great tobacconist , who dy'd too soone for lacke of had i wist . in mechum io. cartir . death meant to play the box on thee iohn cartir that from a sturdy oxe hath made a martyr . in lodovicum . sir lewes that went from london to lead a country life , hath made himself quite vndone by burying of his wife in radulphum . ralph bids adue to pleasures good or ill , but tels you true t is much against his will. in dorotheam rich. here resteth yong dol rich , that dainty drab , who troubled long with itch , dy'd of the scab on iohn batts the brewer . bold spitefull fates that in the pit durst tumble courteous iohn batts , that brewd good ale of bumble . on christopher fowler . let all say what they can , t is known kit fowler was held an honest mā , thogh no good bowler on iohn frend. how ere by luck orethrown , t is like iack frend was no mans foe but 's own , and ther 's an end . in meipsum . good neighbours if ye marke , my turne comes next on , who liuing long a clarke , must dye a sexton . in latronem . he that so stout was knowne made others stand himselfe hath quite orethrown without command . in io. owin . with fame more famous shall thy fame nere dead , cause thee outlasting liue eternized . in eundem . those shortest sharpest lines best wit could mētiō , were short cōpar'd to thy more sharpe inuentiō . in eundem . well had these words bin added to thy herse , what ere thou spak'st ( like ouid ) was a verse in d. wake durum opulentum . wake with long watching is at length laid sleeping , for losse of whom there needs but little weeping , that nere was lou'd or knowne for good house keeping . on a young man newly maried . the world and thou art quickly gone about , that but new entring in art entred out . on a late made lady . ill lucke to liue no longer ladifi'd , who that day twelue-month wedded , that day dy'd on a merchant . who frō accounts & recknings nere could rest at length hath summ'd vp his quietus est . on a lawyer . here lyes a lawyer freed from strifes and iarres of kings-bench , chācery , or exchequer bars . on a potter . he that on clay his chiefest trust repos'd , is now in clay , in stead of dust inclos'd . on a captaine . who late in wars did dread no foes in field , now free of scars , his life in peace doth yield . on sir patricke an irishman . death on sir patricke playd an irish part , that at 's own weapon stabd him to the hart ▪ on a rich feeder . sirogites merito cuinam laus propria detur , here lyes the man was late a capon-eater . on a rich baker . ovr baker's dead , and layd in earth , who liu'd by bread in time of dearth . on an vsurer ▪ that all those goods and riches scrap't together shold w th himself depart , & knows not whither . on a wrestler . death to this wrestler giues a cunning fall , that tript his heeles , and takes no hold at all . on dick hawks . dick seem'd of death so wondrous discontented , as more of breath then any thing repented . on a tinker . who ( liuing ) many a hole had tinkling stopt , now ( dead ) into a hole is stincking popt . on a miller . death without warning waxt as bold as briefe , kild two in one , a miller and a thiefe . on a butler . vngentle death with spitefull spade to digge it for dicke , so quicke and nimble at the spiggit . on a cooke . death through the pastry peeping in disguise , took poor tom cook from making of his pies . on a cutpurse . death hath that cut-purse seiz'd on at alhallowes who by good hap hath so escap't the gallowes . on a scriuener . may all men by these presents testifie , a lurching scriuener here fast boūd doth lye on a saylor drowned . thou that on haddocks many one hast fed , may haddocks feed vpon thee now th' art dead on a poet. here lies that poet , buried in the night , whose purse , mē know it , was exceeding light vt tibi lecta placent , mea sic mihi scripta placebunt : indicio servit gratia nostra tuo . abjicis ista ferus ? moritur mea musa dolendo : accipis ista libens ? illa quod optat habet . finis . characters of vertues and vices in two bookes: by ios. hall. hall, joseph, - . approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : - (eebo-tcp phase ). a stc estc s this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : , : ) characters of vertues and vices in two bookes: by ios. hall. hall, joseph, - . [ ], p. printed by melch. bradwood for eleazar edgar and samuel macham, and are to be sold at the sign of the bul-head in pauls church-yard, london : anno . the first leaf is blank except for signature-mark "a"; the last leaf is blank except for marginal rules and page numbers. each book has separate title page; pagination and register are continuous. this edition has "ios. hall" on the general title page; c v line has "sauior". identified as stc a on umi microfilm reel . reproductions of the originals in the henry e. huntington library and art gallery and the folger shakespeare library. appears at reel (henry e. huntington library and art gallery copy) and at reel (folger shakespeare library copy). created by converting tcp files to tei p using tcp tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between and available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the , texts created during phase of the project have been released into the public domain as of january . anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. % (or pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf- unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p , characters represented either as utf- unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng characters and characteristics -- early works to . virtue -- early works to . vice -- early works to . - tcp assigned for keying and markup - spi global keyed and coded from proquest page images - emma (leeson) huber sampled and proofread - emma (leeson) huber text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion characters of vertves and vices : in two bookes : by ios . hall . london , printed by melch. bradwood for eleazar edgar and samuel macham , and are to be sold at the sign of the bul-head in pauls church-yard . anno . to the right honorable my singvlar good lords , edward lord denny baron of waltham , and iames lord haie his right noble and worthy sonne in lavv , i. h. hvmbly dedicates his labor , devoteth himselfe , wisheth all happinesse . a premonition of the title and vse of characters . reader , the diuines of the olde heathens were their morall philosophers : these receiued the acts of an inbred law , in the sinai of nature , and deliuered them with manie expositions to the multitude : these were the ouerseers of maners , correctors of vices , directors of liues , doctors of vertue , which yet taught their people the body of their naturall diuinitie , not after one maner ; while some spent themselues in deepe discourses of humane felicitie and the way to it in common ; others thought best to applie the generall precepts of goodnesse or decencie , to particular conditions and persons : a third sort in a mean course betwixt the two other , and compounded of them both , bestowed their time in drawing out the true lineaments of euery vertue and vice , so liuely , that who saw the medals , might know the face : which art they significantly termed charactery . their papers were so many tables , their writings so many speaking pictures , or liuing images , whereby the ruder multitude might euen by their sense learne to know vertue , and discerne what to detest . i am deceiued if any course could be more likely to preuaile ; for heerein the grosse conceit is led on with pleasure , and informed while it feeles nothing but delight : and if pictures haue beene accounted the books of idiots , beholde heere the benefit of an image without the offence . it is no shame for vs to learne wit of heathens , neither is it materiall , in whose schoole we take out a good lesson : yea , it is more shame not to follow their good , than not to leade them better . as one therefore that in worthy examples hold imitation better than inuention , i have trod in their paths , but with an higher & wider step ; and out of their tablets haue drawen these larger portraitures of both sorts . more might be sayd , i denie not of euery vertue , of euery vice : i desired not to say all , but enough . if thou do but read or like these , i haue spent good houres ill ; but if thou shalt hence abiure those vices , which before thou thoughtest not ill-fauoured , or fall in loue with any of these goodly faces of vertue ; or shalt hence finde where thou hast anie little touch of these euils , to cleere thy selfe , or where any defect in these graces to supply it , neither of vs shall need to repent of our labor . the svmme of the whole . first booke . the prooeme . pag. character of wisdome . of honestie . of faith. of humilitie . of valor . of patience . of true-friendship . of true-nobilitie . of the good magistrate . second booke . the prooeme . character of the hypocrite . of the busie-bodie . of the superstitious . of the profane . of the male-content . of the inconstant . of the flatterer . of the slothfull . of the couetous . of the vain-glorious . of the presumptuous . of the distrustfull . of the ambitious . of the vnthrift . of the enuious . the first booke . characterismes of vertues . london , printed by m. b. for eleazer edgar , and s. macham . the prooeme . vertve is not loued enough , because shee is not seene ; and vice loseth much detestation , because her vglinesse is secret . certainly , my lords , there are so many beauties , and so many graces in the face of goodnesse , that no eye can possibly see it without affection , without rauishment ; and the visage of euil is so monstrous , through loathsome deformities , that if her louers were not ignorant , they would be mad with disdaine and astonishment . what need we more than to discouer these two to the world ? this worke shall saue the labour of exhorting , and dissuasion . i haue heere done it as i could , following that ancient master of moralitie , who thought this the fittest taske for the ninetie and ninth yeere of his age , and the profitablest monument that he could leaue for a fare-well to his grecians . loe heere then vertue and vice strip't naked to the open view , and despoiled , one of her rags , the other of her ornaments , and nothing left them but bare presence to plead for affection : see now whether shall finde more suiters . and if still the vaine mindes of leaud men shall dote vpon their olde mistresse , it will appeare to be , not because she is not foule , but for that they are blind , and bewitched . and first behold the goodly features of wisdome , an amiable vertue and worthy to leade this stage ; which as she extends her selfe to all the following graces , so amongst the rest is for her largenesse most conspicuous . character of the wise man. there is nothing that he desires not to know , but most and first himselfe ; and-not so much his owne strength , as his weaknesses ; neither is his knowledge reduced to discourse , but practise . he is a skilfull logician not by nature , so much as vse ; his working minde doth nothing all his time but make syllogismes , & draw out conclusions ; euery thing that he sees & heares serues for one of the premises : with these he cares first to informe himselfe , then to direct others . both his eyes are neuer at once from home , but one keeps house while the other roues abroad for intelligence . in materiall and weighty points he abides not his minde suspended in vncertainties ; but hates doubting where he may , where he should be resolute : and first hee makes sure worke for his soule ; accounting it no safetie to be vnsetled in the foreknowledge of his finall estate . the best is first regarded ; and vaine is that regard which endeth not in securitie . euery care hath his iust order ; neither is there any one either neglected or mis-placed . he is seldome ouerseene with credulity ; for knowing the falsenesse of the world , he hath learn'd to trust himselfe alwaies ; others so farre , as he may not be dammaged by their disappointment . he seeks his quietnesse in secrecy , and is wont both to hide himselfe in retirednesse , and his tongue in himselfe . he loues to be gessed at , not knowen ; and to see the world vnseen ; and when hee is forced into the light , shewes by his actions that his obscuritie was neither from affectation nor weaknesse . his purposes are neither so variable as may argue inconstancy ; nor obstinately vnchangeable , but framed according to his after-wits , or the strength of new occasions . he is both an apt scholar and an excellent master ; for both euerie thing hee sees informes him , and his minde inriched with plentifull obseruation can giue the best precepts . his free discourse runnes backe to the ages past , and recouers euents out of memory , and then preuenteth tyme in flying forward to future things ; and comparing one with the other can giue a verdict well-neere propheticall : wherein his coniectures are better than anothers iudgements . his passions are so many good seruants , which stand in a diligent attendance ready to be commanded by reason , by religion ; and if at any time forgetting their duty they be mis-carried to rebell , hee can first conceale their mutiny ; then suppresse it . in all his iust and worthy designes he is neuer at a losse , but hath so proiected all his courses , that a second begins where the first failed ; and fetcheth strength from that which succeeded not . there be wrongs which he will not see ; neither doth he alwayes looke that way which hee meaneth ; nor take notice of his secret smarts , when they come from great ones . in good turnes he loues not to owe more than he must ; in euill to owe and not pay . iust censures hee deserues not , for hee liues without the compasse of an aduersarie ; vniust he contemneth , and had rather suffer false infamie to die alone , than lay hands vpon it in an open violence . he confineth himselfe in the circle of his own affaires , and lists not to thrust his finger into a needlesse fire . he stands like a center vnmoued , while the circumference of his estate is drawen aboue , beneath , about him . finally , his wit hath cost him much , and he can both keepe , and value , and imploy it . he is his owne lawyer ; the treasurie of knowledge , the oracle of counsell ; blinde in no mans cause , best-sighted in his owne . the characterisme of an honest man. he looks not to what hee might doe , but what hee should ; iustice is his first guide , the second law of his actions is expedience . he had rather complaine than offend , & hates sinne more for the indignitie of it , than the danger : his simple vprightnesse workes in him that confidence , which oft-times wrongs him , and giues aduantage to the subtle , when he rather pities their faithlesnes , than repents of his credulitie : he hath but one heart , and that lies open to sight ; and were it not for discretion , hee neuer thinks ought , whereof he would auoid a witnesse : his word is his parchment , and his yea his oath , which he will not violate for feare , or for losse . the mishaps of following euents may cause him to blame his prouidence , can neuer cause him to eat his promise : neither sayth he , this i saw not ; but this i sayd . when he is made his friends executour , hee defrayes debts , payes legacies , and scorneth to gaine by orphans , or to ransack graues ; and therefore will be true to a dead friend , because he sees him not . all his dealings are square , & aboue the boord : he bewrayes the fault of what he selles , and restores the ouerseene gaine of a false reckoning . he esteemes a bribe venomous , tho it come guilded ouer with the colour of gratuitie . his cheeks are neuer stained with the blushes of recantation ; neither doth his tongue falter to make good a lie with the secret glosses of double or reserued senses ; and when his name is traduced , his innocencie beares him out with courage : then , lo , hee goes on the plaine way of truth , and will either triumph in his integritie , or suffer with it . his conscience ouer-rules his prouidence : so as in all things , good or ill , he respects the nature of the actions , not the sequell . if he see what he must do , let god see what shall follow . he neuer loadeth himselfe with burdens aboue his strength , beyond his will ; and once bound , what he can he will do ; neither doth he will but what he can do . his eare is the sanctuary of his absent friends name , of his present friends secret ; neither of them can mis-carry in his trust . hee remembers the wrongs of his youth , and repayes them with that vsury which he himselfe would not take . he would rather want than borow , and begge than not pay : his faire conditions are without dissembling ; and hee loues actions aboue words . finally , hee hates falshood worse than death : he is a faithfull client of truth ; no mans enemie ; and , it is a question , whether more another mans friend , or his owne ; and if there were no heauen , yet he would be vertuous . the characterism of the faithfull man. his eyes haue no other obiects , but absent & inuisible ; which they see so cleerly , as that to them sense is blind : that which is present they see not ; if i may not rather say , that what is past or future is present to them . heerin he exceeds all others , that to him nothing is impossible , nothing difficult , whether to beare , or vndertake . he walkes euery day with his maker , and talkes with him familiarly , and liues euer in heauen , and sees all earthly things beneath him : when he goes in , to conuerse with god , he weares not his owne clothes , but takes them still out of the rich wardrobe of his redeemer , and then dare boldly prease in , and challenge a blessing . the celestiall spirits do not scorne his company , yea his seruice . he deales in these worldly affaires as a stranger , and hath his heart euer at home : without a written warrant he dare doe nothing , and with it , any thing . his warre is perpetuall , without truce , without intermission ; and his victorie certaine : hee meets with the infernall powers , and tramples them vnder feet . the shield that he euer beares before him , can neither be missed , nor pierced : if his hand be wounded , yet his heart is safe : he is often tripped , seldome foiled ; and if somtimes foiled , neuer vanquished . hee hath white hands , and a cleane soule , fit to lodge god in , all the roomes wherof are set apart for his holinesse : iniquitie hath oft called at the doore , and craued entertainment , but with a repulse : or if sin of force will be his tenant ; his lord hee can not . his faults are few , and those he hath , god will not see . he is allied so high , that he dare call god father , his sauior brother , heauen his patrimonie , and thinks it no presumption to trust to the attendance of angels . his vnderstanding is inlightened with the beames of diuine truth ; god hath acquainted him with his will ; and what hee knowes hee dare confesse : there is not more loue in his heart , than libertie in his tongue . if torments stand betwixt him and christ , if death , he contemnes them ; and if his owne parents lie in his way to god , his holy carelesnesse makes them his footsteps . his experiments haue drawen forth rules of confidence , which hee dares oppose against all the feares of distrust ; wherein hee thinkes it safe to charge god with what he hath done ; with what hee hath promised : examples are his proofes ; and instances his demonstrations . what hath god giuen which hee can not giue ? what haue others suffered which hee may not be enabled to indure ? is he threatned banishment ? there hee sees the deare euangelist in pathmos cutting in pieces : hee sees esay vnder the saw . drowning ? hee sees ionas diuing into the liuing gulfe . burning ? he sees the three children in the hote walke of the furnace . deuouring ? hee sees daniel in the sealed den amids his terrible companions . stoning ? hee sees the first martyr vnder his heape of many graue-stones . heading ? loe there the baptists necke bleeding in herodias platter . he emulates their paine , their strength , their glorie . hee wearies not himselfe with cares ; for hee knowes hee liues not of his owne cost : not idlely omitting meanes , but not vsing them with diffidence . in the midst of ill rumors and amazements his countenance changeth not ; for hee knowes both whom hee hath trusted , & whither death can lead him . he is not so sure he shall die , as that hee shall be restored ; and out-faceth his death with his resurrection . finally , hee is rich in workes , busie in obedience , cheerefull and vnmooued in expectation ; better with euils , in common opinion miserable , but in true iudgement more than a man. of the humble man. he is a friendly enemy to himselfe : for tho hee be not out of his owne fauor , no man sets so low a value of his worth as himselfe , not out of ignorance , or carelesnesse , but of a voluntary and meeke deiectednesse . hee admires euery thing in another , whiles the same or better in himselfe he thinks not vnworthily contemned : his eies are full of his owne wants , and others perfections . he loues rather to giue , than take honour , not in a fashion of complementall courtesie , but in simplicitie of his iudgement ; neither doth hee fret at those , on whom hee forceth precedencie , as one that hoped their modestie would haue refused ; but holdes his minde vnfainedly below his place , and is readie to go lower ( if need be ) without discontentment : when hee hath but his due , hee magnifieth courtesie , and disclaimes his deserts . hee can be more ashamed of honor , than grieued with contempt ; because hee thinkes that causelesse , this deserued . his face , his carriage , his habit , sauor of lowlinesse without affectation , and yet he is much vnder that he seemeth . his words are few & soft , neuer either peremptory or censorious ; because he thinks both ech man more wise , and none more faulty than himselfe : and when hee approcheth to the throne of god , he is so taken vp with the diuine greatnesse , that in his owne eyes he is either vile or nothing . places of publique charge are faine to sue to him , and hale him out of his chosen obscuritie ; which he holds off , not cunningly to cause importunitie , but sincerely in the conscience of his defects . hee frequenteth not the stages of common resorts , and then alone thinks himselfe in his naturall element , when he is shrowded within his owne walles . hee is euer iealous ouer himselfe , and still suspecteth that which others applaud . there is no better obiect of beneficence , for what hee receiues , hee ascribes meerly to the bountie of the giuer ; nothing to merit . he emulates no man in any thing but goodnesse , and that with more desire , than hope to ouertake , no man is so contented with his little , and so patient vnder miseries , because he knowes the greatest euils are below his sins , and the least fauours aboue his deseruings . hee walks euer in awe , and dare not but subiect euery word & action to an hie and iust censure . he is a lowly valley sweetly planted , and well watered ; the proud mans earth , whereon he trampleth ; but secretly full of wealthie mines , more worth than he that walks ouer them ; a rich stone set in lead ; and lastly , a true temple of god built with a low roofe . the character of a valiant man. hee vndertakes without rashnesse , and performes without fearer● he seeks not for dangers ; but when they find him , he beares them ouer with courage , with successe . he hath oft times lookt death in the face , and passed by it with a smile , & when hee sees he must yeeld , doth at once welcome and contemne it . he forecasts the worst of all euents , & incounters them before they come in a secret and mentall warre ; and if the suddennesse of an inexpected euill haue surprized his thoughts , & infected his cheekes with palenesse ; he hath no sooner digested it in his conceit , than he gathers vp himselfe , and insults ouer mischiefe . he is the maister of himselfe , and subdues his passions to reason ; and by this inward victorie workes his owne peace . he is afrayd of nothing but the displeasure of the highest , and runnes away from nothing but sinne : he lookes not on his hands but his cause ; not how strong he is , but how innocent : and where goodnesse is his warrant , he may be ouer-maistered , he can not be foiled . the sword is to him the last of all trials , which he drawes forth still as defendant , not as challenger , with a willing kinde of vnwillingnesse : no man can better manage it , with more safety , with more fauor : he had rather haue his blood seene than his backe ; and disdaines life vpon base conditions . no man is more milde to a relenting or vanquish't aduersarie , or more hates to set his foot on a carcase . he had rather smother an iniurie than reuenge himselfe of the impotent : and i know not whether more detests cowardlinesse or crueltie . he talks little , and brags lesse ; and loues rather the silent language of the hand ; to be seene than heard . he lies euer close within himselfe , armed with wise resolution , and will not be discouered but by death or danger . he is neither prodigall of blood to mis-spend it idlely , nor niggardly to grudge it when either god calles for it , or his countrey ; neither is hee more liberall of his owne life , than of others . his power is limited by his will , and he holds it the noblest reuenge , that he might hurt and doth not . hee commands without tyrannie & imperiousnesse , obeies without seruilitie , and changes not his minde with his estate . the height of his spirits ouer-looks all casualties , and his boldnesse proceeds neither from ignorance nor senselesnesse : but first he values euils , and then despises them : he is so ballanced with wisdome , that he floats steddilie in the midst of all tempests . deliberate in his purposes , firme in resolution , bolde in enterprising , vnwearied in atchieuing , and howsoeuer happy in successe : and if euer he be ouercome , his heart yeelds last . the patient man. the patient man is made of a mettall , not so hard as flexible : his shoulders are large , fit for a load of iniuries ; which he beares not out of basenesse and cowardlinesse , because he dare not reuenge , but out of christian fortitude , because he may not : hee hath so conquered himself , that wrongs can not conquer him ; & heerin alone findes , that victorie consists in yeelding . hee is aboue nature , while hee seemes below himselfe . the vilest creature knowes how to turne againe ; but to command himselfe not to resist being vrged is more than heroicall . his constructions are ouer full or charitie and fauor ; either this wrong was not done , or not with intent of wrong , or if that , vpon mis-information ; or if none of these , rashnesse ( tho a fault ) shall serue for an excuse . himselfe craues the offenders pardon , before his confession ; and a slight answer contents where the offended desires to forgiue . hee is gods best witnesse , and when hee stands before the barre for trueth , his tongue is calmly free , his forhead firme , and hee with erect and setled countenance heares his vniust sentence , and reioyces in it . the iailers that attend him are to him his pages of honour ; his dungeon the lower part of the vault of heauen ; his racke or wheele the staires of his ascent to glorie : he challengeth his executioners , and incounters the fiercest paines with strength of resolution ; and while he suffers , the beholders pitse him , the tormentours complaine of wearinesse , and both of them wonder . no anguish can maister him , whether by violence or by lingring . he accounts expectation no punishment , and can abide to haue his hopes adiourned till a new day . good lawes serue for his protection , not for his reuenge ; and his own power , to auoid indignities , not to returne them . his hopes are so strong , that they can insult ouer the greatest discouragements ; and his apprehensions so deep , that when he hath once fastened , hee sooner leaueth his life than his hold . neither time nor peruersnesse can make him cast off his charitable endeuors , and despaire of preuailing ; but in spight of all crosses , and all denials , he redoubleth his beneficiall offers of loue . hee trieth the sea after many ship-wracks , and beates still at that doore which hee neuer saw opened . contrarietie of euents doth but exercise , not dismay him ; and when crosses afflict him , he sees a diuine hand inuisibly striking with these sensible scourges : against which hee dares not rebell , not murmure . hence all things befall him alike ; and hee goes with the same minde to the shambles and to the folde . his recreations are calme and gentle ; and not more full of relaxation than void of fury . this man onely can turne necessitie into vertue , and put euill to good vse . hee is the surest friend , the latest and easiest enemie , the greatest conqueror , and so much more happy than others , by how much hee could abide to be more miserable . the true friend . his affections are both vnited and diuided ; vnited to him he loueth ; diuided betwixt another and himselfe ; and his one heart is so parted , that whiles hee hath some , his friend hath all . his choice is led by vertue , or by the best of vertues , religion ; not by gaine , not by pleasure ; yet not without respect of equall condition , of disposition not vnlike ; which once made admits of no change , except hee whom hee loueth be changed quite from himselfe , nor that suddenly , but after long expectation . extremity doth but fasten him , whiles he like a well-wrought vault lies the stronger by how much more weight hee beares . when necessitie calles him to it , he can be a seruant to his equall , with the same will wherewith he can command his inferior ; and tho he rise to honor , forgets not his familiarity , nor suffers inequalitie of estate to worke strangenesse of countenance ; on the other side , he lifts vp his friend to aduancement , with a willing hand , without out enuie , without dissimulation . when his mate is dead , he accounts himselfe but halfe aliue ; then his loue not dissolued by death deriues it selfe to those orphans which neuer knew the price of their father ; they become the heires of his affection , and the burden of his cares . he embraces a free communitie of all things , saue those which either honesty reserues proper , or nature ; and hates to enioy that which would do his friend more good : his charitie serues to cloake noted infirmities , not by vntruth , not by flattery , but by discreet secrecie ; neither is hee more fauourable in concealement , than round in his priuate reprehensions ; and when anothers simple fidelitie shewes it selfe in his reproofe , he loues his monitor so much the more by how much more he smarteth . his bosome is his friends closet , where he may safely lay vp his cōplaints , his doubts , his cares , and looke how he leaues , so he findes them ; saue for some addition of seasonable counsell for redresse . if some vnhappy suggestion shall either disioint his affection , or breake it , it soone knits againe , and growes the stronger by that stresse . he is so sensible of anothers iniuries , that when his friend is stricken hee cries out , and equally smarteth vntouched , as one affected not sympathy , but with a reall feeling of paine : and in what mischiefe may be preuented he interposeth his aid , and offers to redeeme his friend with himselfe ; no houre can be vnseasonable , no businesse difficult , nor paine grieuous in condition of his ease : and what either doth or suffereth , he neither cares nor desires to haue knowen ; lest he should seem to look for thanks . if hee can therefore steale the performance of a good office vnseene , the conscience of his faithfulnesse heerein is so much sweeter as it is more secret . in fauours done his memorie is fraile , in benefits receiued eternall : hee scorneth either to regard recompence , or not to offer it . he is the comfort of miseries , the guide of difficulties , the ioy of life , the treasure of earth ; and no other than a good angell clothed in flesh . of the truly-noble . he stands not vpon what he borrowed of his ancestours , but thinks he must worke out his owne honor : and if he can not reach the vertue of them that gaue him outward glory by inheritance , he is more abashed of his impotencie , than transported with a great name . greatnesse doth not make him scornfull and imperious , but rather like the fixed starres , the higher he is , the lesse he desires to seeme . neither cares he so much for pompe and frothie ostentation , as for the solid truth of noblenesse . courtesie and sweet affabilitie can be no more seuered from him , than life from his soule ; not out of a base and seruile popularitie , and desire of ambitious insinuation ; but of a natiue gentlenesse of disposition , and true value of himselfe . his hand is open and bounteous , yet not so , as that he should rather respect his glorie , than his estate ; wherein his wisdome can distinguish betwixt parasites and friends , betwixt changing of fauors and expending them . he scorneth to make his height a priuilege of loosenesse , but accounts his titles vaine , if hee be inferior to others in goodnesse : and thinks hee should be more strict , the more eminent he is ; because hee is more obserued , and now his offences are become exemplar . there is no vertue that hee holds vnfit for ornament , for vse ; nor any vice which he condemnes not as fordid , and a fit companion of basenesse ; and whereof he doth not more hate the blemish , than affect the pleasure . he so studies as one that knowes ignorance can neither purchase honour , nor wield it ; and that knowledge must both guide and grace him . his exercises are from his childhood ingenuous , manly , decent , and such as tend still to wit , valor , actiuitie : and if ( as seldome ) he descend to disports of chance , his games shall neuer make him either pale with feare , or hote with desire of gaine . hee doth not so vse his followers , as if he thought they were made for nothing but his seruitude ; whose felicitie were onlie to bee commanded and please : wearing them to the backe , and then either finding or framing excuses to discard them emptie ; but vpon all opportunities lets them feele the sweetnesse of their owne seruiceablenesse and his bountie . silence in officious seruice is the best oratorie to plead for his respect : all diligence is but lent to him , none lost . his wealth stands in receiuing , his honour in giuing : hee cares not either how many holde of his goodnesse , or to how few hee is beholden : and if hee haue cast away fauours , he hates either to vpbraid them to his enemie , or to challenge restitution . none can be more pitifull to the distressed , or more prone to succour ; and then most , where is least meanes to solicit , least possibilitie of requitall . he is equally addressed to warre & peace ; and knowes not more how to command others , than how to be his countries seruant in both . he is more carefull to giue true honor to his maker , than to receiue ciuill honour from men . hee knowes that this seruice is free and noble , and euer loaded with sincere glorie ; and how vaine it is to hunt after applause from the world , till he be sure of him that moldeth all hearts , and powreth contempt on princes ; and shortly , so demeanes himselfe , as one that accounts the bodie of nobilitie to consist in blood , the soule in the eminence of vertue . of the good magistrate . he is the faithfull deputie of his maker , whose obedience is the rule whereby he ruleth : his brest is the ocean whereinto all the cares of priuate men emptie themselues ; which as hee receiues without complaint and ouerflowing , so he sends them forth againe by a wise conueyance in the streames of iustice : his doores , his eares are euer open to suters ; and not who comes first speeds well , but whose cause is best . his nights , his meales are short and interrupted ; all which hee beares well , because hee knowes himselfe made for a publique seruant of peace and iustice . hee sits quietly at the sterne , & commands one to the top-saile , another to the maine , a third to the plummet , a fourth to the anchor , as hee sees the need of their course and weather requires ; and doth no lesse by his tongue , than all the mariners with their hands . on the bench he is another from himselfe at home ; now all priuate respects of blood , alliance , amitie are forgotten ; and if his own sonne come vnder triall , hee knowes him not : pitie , which in all others is woont to bee the best praise of humanitie , & the fruit of christian loue , is by him throwen ouer the barre for corruption : as for fauour the false aduocate of the gracious , he allowes him not to appeare in the court ; there only causes are heard speake , not persons : eloquence is then only not discouraged , when she serues for a client of truth : meere narrations are allowed in this oratory , not proemes , not excursions , not glosses : truth must strip herselfe , and come in naked to his barre , without false bodies , or colours , without disguises : a bribe in his closet , or a letter on the bench , or the whispering and winks of a great neighbour are answered with an angry and courageous repulse . displeasure , reuenge , recompense stand on both sides the bench , but he scornes to turne his eye towards them ; looking only right forward at equitie , which stands full before him . his sentence is euer deliberate and guided with ripe wisdome , yet his hand is slower than his tongue ; but when he is vrged by occasion either to doome or execution , he shewes how much hee hateth mercifull iniustice : neither can his resolution or act be reuersed with partiall importunitie . his forhead is rugged and seuere , able to discountenance villanie , yet his words are more awfull than his brow , and his hand than his wordes . i know not whether he be more feared or loued , both affections are so sweetly contempered in all hearts . the good feare him louingly , the middle sort loue him fearefully , and only the wicked man feares him slauishly without loue . he hates to pay priuate wrongs with the aduantage of his office , and if euer he be partiall it is to his enemy . he is not more sage in his gowne than valorous in armes , and increaseth in the rigor of his discipline as the times in danger . his sword hath neither rusted for want of vse , nor surfeteth of blood , but after many threats is vnsheathed , as the dreadfull instrument of diuine reuenge . he is the guard of good lawes , the refuge of innocencie , the comet of the guiltie , the pay-maister of good deserts , the champian of iustice ; the patron of peace , the tutor of the church , the father of his countrey , and as it were another god vpon earth . the second booke . characterismes of vices . london , printed by m. b. for eleazar edgar , and s. macham . the prooeme . i haue shewed you many faire vertues : i speak not for them , if their sight can not command affection , let them lose it . they shall please yet better , after you haue troubled your eyes a little with the view of deformities ; and by how much more they please , so much more odious , and like themselues , shall these deformities appeare . this light contraries giue to ech other , in the midst of their enmitie , that one makes the other seeme more good , or ill . perhaps in some of these ( which thing i do at once feare , and hate ) my stile shall seeme to some lesse graue , more satyricall ; if you finde me not without cause iealous , let it please you to impute it to the nature of those vices , which will not be otherwise handled . the fashions of some euils are besides the odiousnesse , ridiculous ; which to repeat , is to seeme bitterlie merrie . i abhorre to make sport with wickednesse , and forbid any laughter heere , but of disdaine . hypocrisie shall lead this ring ; woorthily , i thinke , because both she commeth neerest to vertue , and is the woorst of vices . the hypocrite . an hypocrite is the worst kinde of plaier , by so much as he acts the better part ; which hath alwayes two faces , oft times two hearts : that can compose his forhead to sadnesse and grauitie , while hee bids his heart be wanton and carelesse within , and ( in the meane time ) laughs within himselfe , to think how smoothly he hath couzened the beholder . in whose silent face are written the characters of religion , which his tongue & gestures pronounce , but his hands recant . that hath a cleane face and garment , with a soule soule ; whose mouth belies his heart , and his fingers belie his mouth . walking early vp into the citie , he turnes into the great church , and salutes one of the pillars on one knee , worshipping that god which at home hee cares not for ; while his eye is fixed on some window , on some passenger , and his heart knowes not whither his lips go . hee rises , and looking about with admiration , complaines of our frozen charitie , commends the ancient . at church hee will euer sit where hee may bee seene best , and in the midst of the sermon pulles out his tables in haste , as if he feared to leese that note ; when hee writes either his forgotten errand , or nothing : then he turnes his bible with a noise , to seeke an omitted quotation ; and folds the lease , as if hee had found it ; and askes aloud the name of the preacher , and repeats it , whom hee publikelie salutes , thanks , praises , inuites , entertaines with tedious good counsell , with good discourse , if it had come from an honester mouth . hee can commaund teares , when hee speaks of his youth , indeed because it is past , not because it was sinfull : himselfe is now better , but the times are worse . all other sinnes hee reckons vp with detestation , while hee loues and hides his darling in his bosome . all his speech returnes to himselfe , and euery occurrent drawes in a storie to his owne praise . when he should giue , he looks about him , and sayes who sees me ? no almes , no prayers fall from him without a witnesse ; belike lest god should denie , that hee hath receiued them : and when hee hath done ( lest the world should not know it ) his owne mouth is his trumpet to proclame it . with the superfluitie of his vsurie , hee builds an hospitall , and harbors them whom his extortion hath spoiled ; so while hee makes many beggers , he keeps some . hee turneth all gnats into camels , and cares not to vndoe the world for a circumstance . flesh on a friday is more abomination to him than his neighbours bed : hee abhorres more not to vncouer at the name of iesus , than to sweare by the name of god. when a rimer reads his poeme to him , he begges a copie , and perswades the presse ; there is nothing that hee dislikes in presence , that in absence hee censures not . he comes to the sicke bed of his stepmother , & weeps , when hee secretly feares her recouerie . he greets his friend in the street with so cleere a countenance , so fast a closure , that the other thinks hee reades his heart in his face ; and shakes hands with an indefinite inuitation of when will you come ? and when his backe is turned , ioyes that he is so well rid of a guest : yet if that guest visit him vnseared , hee counterfeits a smiling welcome , and excuses his chere , when closely he frownes on his wife for too much . he shewes well , and sayes well ; and himselfe is the worst thing he hath . in briefe , hee is the strangers saint , the neighbors disease , the blotte of goodnesse ; a rotten sticke in a darke night , a poppie in a corne field , an ill tempered candle with a great snuffe , that in going out smelles ill ; an angell abroad , a diuell at home ; and worse when an angell , than when a diuell . the characterism of the busie-bodie . his estate is too narrow for his minde , and therefore hee is faine to make himselfe roome in others affaires ; yet euer in pretence of loue . no newes can stir but by his doore ; neither can he know that , which hee must not tell : what euerie man ventures in guiana voyage , & what they gained he knowes to a haire . whether holland will haue peace hee knowes , and on what conditions ; and with what successe is familiar to him ere it bee concluded . no post can passe him without a question , and rather than he will leese the newes , he rides backe with him to appose him of tidings ; and then to the next man hee meets , hee supplies the wants of his hasty intelligence , and makes vp a perfect tale ; wherewith he so haunteth the patient auditor that after many excuses , hee is faine to indure rather the censure of his maners in running away , than the tediousnesse of an impertinent discourse . his speech is oft broken off with a succession of long parentheses , which he euer vowes to fill vp ere the conclusion , and perhaps would effect it , if the others eare were as vnweariable as his tongue . if hee see but two men talke and reade a letter in the street , hee runnes to them , and asks if he may not be partner of that secret relation ; and if they denie it , hee offers to tell , since hee may not heare , woonders : and then falles vpon the report of the scotish mine , or of the great fish taken vp at linne , or of the freezing of the thames ; and after many thanks and dismissions is hardly intreated silence . hee vndertakes as much as he performes little : this man will thrust himselfe forward to be the guide of the way hee knowes not ; and calles at his neighbors window , & asks why his seruants are not at worke . the market hath no commoditie which hee prizeth not , and which the next table shall not heare recited . his tongue like the taile of sampsons foxes carries fire-brand , and is enough to set the whole field of the world on a flame . himselfe beginnes table-talke of his neighbour at anothers boord ; to whom he beares the first newes , and adiures him to conceale the reporter : whose cholericke answer he returnes to his first host , inlarged with a second edition : so , as it vses to be done in the fight of vnwilling mastiues , hee claps ech on the side apart , and prouokes them to an eager conflict . there can no act passe without his comment , which is euer far-fetch't , rash , suspicious , delatorie . his eares are long , and his eyes quicke , but most of all to imperfections , which as he easily sees , so he increases with intermedling . hee harbours another mans seruant , and amiddes his entertainment asks what fare is vsuall at home , what houres are kept , what talke passeth their meales , what his masters disposition is , what his gouernment , what his guests ? and when hee hath by curious inquiries extracted all the iuice and spirit of hoped intelligence , turnes him off whence he came , and works on a new . hee hates constancie as an ear-then dulnesse , vnfit for men of spirit : and loues to change his worke and his place ; neither yet can hee bee so soone wearie of any place , as euerie place is wearie of him ; for as hee sets himselfe on worke , so others pay him with hatred ; and looke how manie maisters hee hath , so manie enemies : neither is it possible that anie should not hate him , but who know him not . so then hee labours without thanks , talkes without credit , liues without loue , dies without teares , without pitie ; saue that some say it was pitie he died no sooner . the superstitious . svperstition is godlesse religion , deuout impietie . the superstitious is fond in obseruation , seruile in feare , he worships god but as he lifts : he giues god what he asks not , more than he askes ; and all but what he should giue ; and makes more sinnes than the ten commandements . this man dares not stirre foorth till his brest be crossed , and his face sprinckled : if but an hare crosse him the way , he returnes ; or if his iourney began vnawares on the dismall day ; or if hee stumbled at the threshold . if he see a snake vnkilled , hee feares a mischiefe ; if the salt fall towards him , hee lookes pale and red , and is not quiet till one of the waiters haue powred wine on his lappe ; and when hee neeseth , thinks them not his friends that vncouer not . in the morning he listens whether the crow crieth eeuen or odde , and by that token presages of the weather . if hee heare but a rauen croke from the next roofe , hee makes his will , or if a bittour flie ouer his head by night : but if his troubled fancie shall second his thoughts with the dreame of a faire garden , or greene rushes , or the salutation of a dead friend , hee takes leaue of the world , and sayes he can not liue . hee will neuer set to sea but on a sunday ; neither euer goes without an erra pater in his pocket . saint pauls day and saint swithunes with the twelue are his oracles ; which he dares beleeue against the almanacke . when hee lies sicke on his death-bed , no sinne troubles him so much as that he did once eat flesh on a friday , no repentance can expiate that ; the rest need none . there is no dreame of his without an interpretation , without a prediction ; and if the euent answer not his exposition , hee expounds it according to the euent . euery darke groaue and pictured wall strikes him with an awfull but carnall deuotion . olde wiues and starres are his counsellers ; his night-spell is his guard , and charmes his physitians . he weares paracelsian characters for the tooth-ache , and a little hallowed wax is his antidote for all euils . this man is strangely credulous , and calles impossible things , miraculous : if hee heare that some sacred blocke speakes , moues , weepes , smiles , his bare foot carrie him thither with an offering ; and if a danger misse him in the way , his saint hath the thanks . some wayes he will not go , & some he dares not ; either there are bugs , or hee faineth them ; euery lanterne is a ghost , & euery noise is of chaines . he knowes not why , but his custome is to goe a little about , and to leaue the crosse stil on the right hand . one euent is enough to make a rule ; out of these rules he concludes fashions proper to himselfe ; and nothing can turne him out of his owne course . if he haue done his taske hee is safe , it matters not with what affection . finally , if god would let him be the caruer of his owne obedience , hee could not haue a better subiect , as he is he can not haue a worse . characterisme of the profane . the superstitious hath too manie gods , the prophane man hath none at all , vnlesse perhaps himselfe bee his owne deitie , and the world his heauen . to matter of religion his heart is a piece of dead flesh , without feeling of loue , of feare , of care , or of paine from the deafe stroakes of a reuenging conscience . custome of sinne hath wrought this senslesnesse , which now hath beene so long entertained that it pleades prescription , and knowes not to be altered . this is no sudden euill : we are borne sinfull , but haue made our selues prophane ; through manie degrees wee climbe to this height of impietie . at first hee sinned , and cared not ; now hee sinneth , and knoweth not . appetite is his lord , and reason his seruant , and religion his drudge . sense is the rule of his beleefe ; and if pietie may be an aduantage , he can at once counterfeit and deride it . when ought succeedeth to him hee sacrifices to his nets , and thanks either his fortune or his wit ; and will rather make a false god , than acknowledge the true : if contrary , he cries out of destiny , & blames him to whom hee will not bee beholden . his conscience would faine speake with him , but he will not heare it ; sets the day , but hee disappoints it ; and when it cries loud for audience , hee drownes the noise with good fellowship . he neuer names god but in his oathes ; neuer thinks of him but in extremity ; & then he knowes not how to thinke of him , because he beginnes but then . he quarrels for the hard conditions of his pleasure , for his future damnation ; and from himselfe layes all the fault vpon his maker ; and from his decree fetcheth excuses of his wickednesse . the ineuitable necessity of gods counsell makes him desperately carelesse : so with good food he poisons himselfe . goodnesse is his minstrell ; neither is anie mirth so cordiall to him as his sport with gods fooles . euerie vertue hath his slander , and his iest to laugh it out of fashion : euery vice his colour . his vsuallest theme is the boast of his yoong sinnes , which he can still ioy in , tho he can not commit ; and ( if it may bee ) his speech makes him woorse than hee is . hee can not thinke of death with patience , without terrour , which he therefore feares worse than hell , because this he is sure of , the other hee but doubts of . hee comes to church as to the theater , sauing that not so willinglie , for companie , for custome , for recreation , perhaps for sleepe ; or to feed his eyes or his eares : as for his soule hee cares no more than if hee had none . he loues none but himselfe , and that not enough to seeke his true good ; neither cares hee on whom hee treads , that he may rise . his life is full of licence , and his practise of outrage . he is hated of god as much as hee hateth goodnesse , and differs little from a diuell , but that he hath a body . the characterism of the male-content . he is neither well full nor fasting ; and tho he abound with cōplaints , yet nothing dislikes him but the present : for what hee condemned while it was , once past hee magnifies , and striues to recall it out of the iawes of time. what hee hath hee seeth not , his eyes are so taken vp with what he wants ; and what hee sees hee cares not for , because hee cares so much for that which is not . when his friend carues him the best morsell , hee murmures that it is an happie feast wherein each one may cut for himselfe . when a present is sent him , he asks is this all ? and what no better ? and so accepts it as if hee would haue his friend know how much he is bound to him for vouchsafing to receiue it . it is hard to enterteine him with a proportionable gift . if nothing , he cries out of vnthankfulnesse ; if little , that hee is basely regarded ; if much , hee exclames of flatterie , and expectation of a large requital . euery blessing hath somwhat to disparage & distaste it : children bring cares , single life is wilde and solitarie ; eminency is enuious , retirednesse obscure ; fasting painfull , satietie vnweldie ; religion nicely seuere , libertie is lawlesse ; wealth burdensome , mediocrity contemptible : euerie thing faulteth either in too much or too little . this man is euer headstrong , and selfe-willed , neither is he alwayes tied to esteeme or pronounce according to reason ; some things he must dislike hee knowes not wherefore , but hee likes them not : and other where rather than not censure , he will accuse a man of vertue . euerie thing hee medleth with , hee either findeth imperfect , or maketh so : neither is there anie thing that soundeth so harsh in his eare as the commendation of another ; whereto yet perhaps he fashionably and coldly assenteth , but with such an after-clause of exception , as doth more than marre his former allowance : and if hee list not to giue a verball disgrace , yet hee shakes his head and smiles , as if his silence should say , i could and will not . and when himselfe is praised without excesse , hee complaines that such imperfect kindnesse hath not done him right . if but an vnseasonable shower crosse his recreation , he is ready to fall out with heauen , and thinkes hee is wronged if god will not take his times when to raine , when to shine . hee is a slaue to enuie , and loseth flesh with fretting , not so much at his owne infelicitie , as at others good ; neither hath he leasure to ioy in his owne blessings whilest another prospereth . faine would he see some mutinies , but dare not raise them ; and suffers his lawlesse tongue to walke thorow the dangerous paths of conceited alterations , but so as in good maners hee had rather thrust euery man before him when it comes to acting . nothing but feare keeps him from conspiracies , and no man is more cruell when hee is not manicled with danger . he speaks nothing but satyres , and libels , and lodgeth no guests in his heart but rebels . the inconstant and hee agree well in their felicity , which both place in change : but heerein they differ ; the inconstant man affects that which will be , the male-content commonly that which was . finally , he is a querulous curre , whom no horse can passe by without barking at ; yea , in the deepe silence of night the very moone-shine openeth his clamorous mouth : he is the wheele of a well-couched fire-worke that flies out on all sides , not without scorching it selfe . euery eare was long agoe wearie of him , and he is now almost wearie of himselfe . giue him but a little respite , and he will die alone ; of no other death , than others welfare . the vnconstant . the inconstant man treads vpō a mouing earth , and keeps no pace . his proceedings are euer headdie and peremptorie ; for hee hath not the patience to consult with reason , but determines meerelie vpon fancie . no man is so hot in the pursute of what hee liketh ; no man sooner wearie . he is fiery in his passions , which yet are not more violent than momentanie : it is a woonder if his loue or hatred last so many dayes as a wonder . his heart is the inne of all good motions , wherein if they lodge for a night it is well ; by morning they are gone and take no leaue , and if they come that way againe they are entertained as guests , not as friends . at first like another ecebolius he loued simple trueth , thence diuerting his eyes hee fell in loue with idolatrie ; those heathenish shrines had neuer any more doting and besotted client , and now of late hee is leapt from rome to munster , and is growen to giddie anabaptisme : what he will be next , as yet he knoweth not ; but ere hee haue wintred his opinion , it will be manifest . hee is good to make an enemie of ; ill for a friend ; because as there is no trust in his affection , so no rancour in his displeasure . the multitude of his changed purposes brings with it forgetfulnesse ; and not of others more than of himselfe . he sayes , sweares , renounces , because what hee promised hee meant not long enough to make an impression . heerin alone he is good for a common-wealth , that hee sets manie on worke , with building , ruining , altering ; and makes more businesse than time it selfe ; neither is hee a greater enemie to thrift , than to idlenesse . proprietie is to him enough cause of dislike ; each thing pleases him better that is not his owne . euen in the best things long continuance is a iust quarrell ; manna it selfe growes tedious with age , and noueltie is the highest stile of commendation to the meanest offers : neither doth he in books and fashions aske how good , but how new . varietie carries him away with delight , and no vniforme pleasure can be without an irksome fulnesse . hee is so transformable into all opinions , maners , qualities , that he seemes rather made immediatly of the first matter than of well tempered elements ; and therefore is in possibilitie any thing , or euerie thing ; nothing in present substance . finally , he is seruile in imitation , waxey to persuasions , wittie to wrong himselfe , a guest in his owne house , an ape of others , and in a word , any thing rather than himselfe . the flatterer . flatterie is nothing but false friendship , fawning hypocrisie , dishonest ciuilitie , base merchandize of words , a plausible discord of the heart and lips . the flatterer is bleare-eyed to ill , and can not see vices ; and his tongue walks euen in one tracke of vniust praises ; and can no more tell how to discommend , than to speake true . his speeches are full of wondring interiections ; and all his titles are superlatiue , & both of them seldome euer but in presence . his base minde is well matched with a mercenarie tongue , which is a willing slaue to another mans eare ; neither regardeth hee how true , but how pleasing . his art is nothing but delightfull cozenage , whose rules are smoothing and garded with periurie ; whose scope is to make men fooles , in teaching them to ouer-value themselues ; and to tickle his friends to death . this man is a porter of all good tales , and mends them in the carriage : one of fames best friends , and his owne ; that helps to furnish her with those rumors , that may aduantage himselfe . conscience hath no greater aduersarie ; for when shee is about to play her iust part , of accusation ; he stops her mouth with good termes , and well-neere strangleth her with shifts . like that subtle fish he turnes himselfe into the colour of euery stone , for a booty . in himselfe hee is nothing , but what pleaseth his great-one , whose vertues he can not more extoll , than imitate his imperfections , that hee may thinke his worst gracefull . let him say it is hote , hee wipes his forhead , and vnbraceth himselfe ; if cold , he shiuers , & calles for a warmer garment . when he walks with his friend hee sweares to him , that no manels is looked at ; no man talked of ; and that whomsoeuer hee vouchsafes to looke on & nod to , is graced enough : that he knoweth not his owne woorth , lest hee should be too happie ; and when he tells what others say in his praise , he interrupts himselfe modestlie , and dares not speake the rest : so his concealement is more insinuating than his speech . he hangs vpon the lips which hee admireth , as if they could let fall nothing but oracles , and finds occasion to cite some approoued sentence vnder the name he honoureth ; and when ought is nobly spoken , both his hands are little enough to blesse him . sometimes euen in absence hee extolleth his patron , where hee may presume of safe conueiance to his cares ; and in presence so whispereth his commendation , to a common friend , that it may not be vnheard where he meant it . he hath salues for euery sore , to hide them , not to heale them ; complexion for euery face : sin hath not any more artificiall broker or more impudent band . there is no vice , that hath not from him his colour , his allurement ; and his best seruice is either to further guiltinesse , or smother it . if hee grant euill things inexpedient , or crimes errors , he hath yeelded much ; either thy estate giues priuilege of libertie , or thy youth ; or if neither , what if it be ill , yet it is pleasant ? honesty to him is nice singularitie , repentance superstitious melancholie , grauitie dulnesse , and all vertue an innocent conceit of the base-minded . in short , he is the moth of liberall mens coats , the eare-wig of the mightie , the bane of courts , a friend and a slaue to the trencher , and good for nothing but to be a factor for the diuell . the slothfull . he is a religious man , and weares the time in his cloister ; and as the cloake of his doing nothing , pleads contemplation ; yet is hee no whit the leaner for his thoughts , no whit learneder . he takes no lesse care how to spend time , than others how to gaine by the expense ; and when businesse importunes him , is more troubled to forethinke what he must doe , than another to effect it . summer is out of his fauour for nothing but long dayes , that make no haste to their eeuen . hee loues still to haue the sun witnesse of his rising ; and lies long more for lothnesse to dresse him , than will to sleepe : and after some streaking and yawning calles for dinner , vnwashed ; which hauing digested with a sleepe in his chaire , he walks forth to the bench in the market-place , and looks for companions : whomsoeuer he meets , he stayes with idle questions , and lingring discourse ; how the dayes are longthened , how kindly the weather is , how false the clocke , how forward the spring , and ends euer with what shall we doe ? it pleases him no lesse to hinder others , than not to worke himselfe . when all the people are gone from church , hee is left sleeping in his seat alone . hee enters bonds , and forfeits them by forgetting the day ; and asks his neighbour when his owne field was fallowed , whether the next peece of ground belong not to himselfe . his care is either none , or too late : when winter is come , after some sharpe visitations , hee looks on his pile of wood , and asks how much was cropped the last spring . necessitie driues him to euerie action , and what hee can not auoid , he will yet defer . euery change troubles him , although to the better ; and his dulnesse counterfeits a kinde of contentment . when he is warned on a iurie , hee had rather pay the mulct , than appeare . all but that which nature will not permit , he doth by a deputie , and counts it troublesome to doe nothing , but to doe any thing , yet more . he is wittie in nothing but framing excuses to sit still , which if the occasion yeeld not , he coineth with ease . there is no worke that is not either dangerous , or thanklesse , and whereof he foresees not the inconuenience and gainlesnesse before he enters ; which if it be verified in euent , his next idlenesse hath found a reason to patronize it . he had rather freeze than fetch wood , and chuses rather to steale than worke ; to begge than take paines to steale , and in many things to want than begge . hee is so loth to leaue his neighbors fire , that he is faine to walke home in the darke ; and if he be not lookt to , weares out the night in the chimney-corner ; or if not that , lies downe in his clothes to saue two labors . he eats , and prayes himselfe asleepe ; and dreames of no other torment but worke . this man is a standing poole , and can not chuse but gather corruption : hee is descried amongst a thousand neighbours by a drie and nastie hand , that still sauors of the sheet ; a beard vncut , vnkembed ; an eye and eare yellow with their excretions ; a coat shaken on , ragged , vnbrush't ; by linnen and face striuing whether shall excell in vncleanlinesse . for bodie hee hath a swollen legge , a duskie and swinish eye , a blowen cheeke , a drawling tongue , an heauie foot , and is nothing but a ●older earth molded with standing water . to conclude , is a man in nothing but in speech and shape . the couetous . hee is a seruaunt to himselfe , yea to his seruant ; and doth base homage to that which should be the worst drudge . a liuelesse peece of earth is his master , yea his god , which hee shrines in his coffer , and to which hee sacrifices his heart . euery face of his coine is a new image , which hee adores with the highest veneration ; yet takes vpon him to be protector of that he worshippeth : which hee feares to keepe , and abhors to lose : not daring to trust either any other god , or his own . like a true chymist hee turnes euerie thing into siluer , both what hee should eat , and what he should weare ; and that hee keepes to looke on , not to vse . when hee returnes from his field , he asks , not without much rage , what became of the loose crust in his cup-boord , and who hath rioted amongst his leekes ? he neuer eats good meale , but on his neighbors trencher ; and there hee makes amends to his complaining stomacke for his former and future fasts . he bids his neighbours to dinner , and when they haue done , sends in a trencher for the shot . once in a yeere perhaps , hee giues himselfe leaue to feast ; and for the time thinks no man more lauish ; wherein hee lists not to fetch his dishes from farre ; nor will bee beholden to the shambles ; his owne prouision shall furnish his boord with an insensible cost ; and when his guests are parted , talkes how much euery man deuoured , and how many cups were emptied , and feeds his familie with the moldie remnants a moneth after . if his seruant breake but an earthen dish for want of light , hee abates it out of his quarters wages . he chips his bread , & sends it backe to exchange for staler . he lets money , and selles time for a price ; and will not be importuned either to preuent or defer his day ; and in the meane time looks for secret gratuities , besides the main interest ; which he selles and returnes into the stocke . he breeds of money to the third generation ; neither hath it sooner any being , than he sets it to beget more . in all things hee affects secrecie and proprietie : hee grudgeth his neighbor the water of his well : and next to stealing hee hates borrowing . in his short and vnquiet sleepes hee dreames of theeues , & runnes to the doore , and names more men than he hath . the least sheafe he euer culles out for tithe ; and to rob god holdes it the best pastime , the cleerest gaine . this man cries out aboue other ; of the prodigalitie of our times , and telles of the thrift of our forefathers : how that great prince thought himselfe royally attired , when he bestowed thirteen shillings & foure pence on halfe a sute : how one wedding gown serued our grandmothers , till they exchanged it for a winding sheet ; and praises plainnesse , not for lesse sinne , but for lesse cost . for himselfe hee is still knowen by his fore-fathers coat , which he meanes with his blessing to bequeath to the many descents of his heires . he neither would be poore , nor be accounted rich . no man complaines so much of want to auoid a subsidie ; no man is so importunate in begging , so cruell in exaction ; and when hee most complaines of want , hee feares that which he complaines to haue . no way is indirect to wealth ; whether of fraud or violence : gaine is his godlinesse ; which if conscience go about to preiudice , and grow troublesom by exclaming against , he is condemned for a common barretor . like another ahab hee is sicke of the next field , and thinks he is ill seated , while he dwelles by neighbours . shortly , his neighbors doe not much more hate him , than he himselfe . he cares not ( for no great aduantage ) to lose his friend , pine his bodie , damne his soule ; and would dispach himselfe when corne falles , but that he is loth to cast away money on a cord . the vaine-glorious . all his humour rises vp into the froth of ostentation ; which if it once settle , falles downe into a narrow roome . if the excesse be in the vnderstanding part , all his wit is in print ; the presse hath left his head emptie ; yea not only what he had , but what hee could borrow without leaue . if his glorie be in his deuotion , he giues not an almes but on record ; and if he haue once done wel , god heares of it often ; for vpon euery vnkindnesse he is ready to vpbraid him with his merits . ouer and aboue his owne discharge hee hath some satisfactions to spare for the common treasure . hee can fulfill the law with ease , and earne god with superfluitie . if hee haue bestowed but a little sum in the glazing , pauing , parieting of gods house , you shall finde it in the church-window . or if a more gallant humour possesse him , hee weares all his land on his backe , and walking hie , lookes ouer his left shoulder , to see if the point of his rapier follow him with a grace . hee is proud of another mans horse ; and well mounted thinks euery man wrongs him , that looks not at him . a bare head in the street , doth him more good than a meales meat . hee sweares bigge at an ordinarie , and talkes of the court with a sharpe accent ; neither vouchsafes to name any not honorable , nor those without some terme of familiaritie ; and likes well to see the hearer looke vpon him amazedly , as if he said , how happy is this man that is so great with great ones ! vnder pretence of seeking for a scroll of newes , hee drawes out an handful of letters endorsed with his owne stile , to the height ; and halfe reading euery title , passes ouer the latter part , with a murmur ; not without signifying , what lord sent this , what great ladie the other ; and for what sutes ; the last paper ( as it happens ) is his newes from his honourable friend in the french court. in the midst of dinner , his lacquay comes sweating in , with a sealed note from his creditour , who now threatens a speedie arrest , and whispers the ill newes in his masters eare , when hee aloud names a counseller of state , and professes to know the imployment . the same messenger he calles with an imperious nod , and after expostulation , where he hath left his fellowes , in his eare sends him for some new spur-leathers or stockings by this time footed ; and when he is gone halfe the roome , recalles him , and sayth aloud , it is no matter , let the greater bagge alone till i come ; and yet againe calling him closer , whispers ( so that all the table may heare ) that if his crimson sute be readie against the day , the rest need no haste . he picks his teeth when his stomacke is emptie , and calles for pheasants at a common inne . you shall finde him prizing the richert iewels , and fairest horses , when his purse yeelds not money enough for earnest he thrusts himselfe into the prease , before some great ladies ; and loues to be seene neere the head of a great traine . his talke is how many mourners hee furnish't with gownes at his fathers funerals , how manie messes ; how rich his coat is , and how ancient , how great his alliance ; what challenges hee hath made and answered ; what exploits he did at cales or nieuport : and when hee hath commended others buildings , furnitures , sutes , compares them with his owne . when he hath vndertaken to be the broker for some rich diamond , he weares it , and pulling off his gloue to stroke vp his haire , thinks no eye should haue any other obiect . entertaining his friend , he chides his cooke for no better cheere , and names the dishes he meant , and wants . to conclude , hee is euer on the stage , and acts still a glorious part abroad , when no man carries a baser heart , no man is more so . did and carelesse at home . hee is a spanish souldier on an italian theater ; a bladder full of winde , a skin full of words , a fooles wonder , and a wise-mans foole . the presumptuous . presumption is nothing but hope out of his wits , an high house vpon weake pillars . the presumptuous man loues to attempt great things , only because they are hard and rare : his actions are bolde , and venturous , and more full of hazard than vse . he hoiseth saile in a tempest , & sayth neuer any of his ancestours were drowned : he goes into an infected house , and sayes the plague dares not seaze on noble blood : he runnes on high battlements , gallops downe steepe hilles , rides ouer narrow bridges , walks on weake ice , and neuer thinks , what if i fall ? but , what if i runne ouer and fall not ? he is a confident alchymist , and braggeth , that the wombe of his furnace hath conceiued a burden that will do all the world good ; which yet hee desires secretly borne , for feare of his owne bondage : in the mean time , his grasse breaks ; yet he vpon better luting , layes wagers of the successe , and promiseth wedges before-hand to his friend . he saith , i will sinne , and be sory , and escape ; either god will not see , or not be angrie , or not punish it ; or remit the measure . if i doe well , he is iust to reward ; if ill , he is mercifull to forgiue . thus his praises wrong god no lesse than his offence ; and hurt himselfe no lesse than they wrong god. any patterne is enough to incourage him : shew him the way where any foot hath trod , hee dares follow , altho hee see no steps returning ; what if a thousand haue attempted , and miscarried ; if but one haue preuailed , it sufficeth . he suggests to himself false hopes of neuer too late ; as if hee could command either time or repentance : and dare deferre the expectation of mercy till betwixt the bridge and the water . giue him but where to set his foot , and hee will remoue the earth . he foreknowes the mutations of states , the euents of warre , the temper of the seasons ; either his olde prophecie telles it him , or his starres . yea , hee is no stranger to the records of gods secret counsell , but he turnes them ouer , and copies them out at pleasure . i know not whether in all his enterprises hee shew lesse feare , or wisdome : no man promises himselfe more , no man more beleeues himselfe . i will go and sell , and returne and purchase , and spend and leaue my sonnes such estates ; all which if it succeed , he thanks himselfe ; if not , he blames not himselfe . his purposes are measured , not by his abilitie , but his will , and his actions by his purposes . lastly , he is euer credulous in assent , rash in vndertaking , peremptorie in resoluing , witlesse in proceeding , and in his ending miserable ; which is neuer other , than either the laughter of the wise , or the pitie of fooles . the distrustfull . the distrustfull man hath his heart in his eyes , or in his hand ; nothing is sure to him but what he sees , what hee handles : hee is either very simple , or very false ; and therefore beleeues not others , because he knowes how little himselfe is worthy of beleefe . in spirituall things , either god must leaue a pawne with him , or seeke some other creditour . all absent things and vnusuall , haue no other , but a conditionall entertainment : they are strange , if true . if he see two neighbours whisper in his presence , he bids them speake out , and charges them to say no more than they can iustify . when he hath committed a message to his seruant , he sends a second after him , to listen how it is deliuered . he is his owne secretarie , and of his own counsell , for what he hath , for what hee purposeth : and when he telles ouer his bagges , looks thorow the key-hole , to see if hee haue any hidden witnesse , and askes aloud , who is there ? when no man heares him . he borrowes money when hee needs not , for feare lest others should borrow of him . hee is euer timorous , and cowardly ; and asks euery mans errand at the doore , ere he opens . after his first sleepe , he starts vp , and askes if the furthest gate were barred , and out of a fearefull sweat calles vp his seruant , and bolts the dore after him ; and then studies whether it were better to lie still and beleeue , or rise and see . neither is his heart fuller of feares , than his head of strange proiects , and far-fetcht constructions ; what meanes the state , thinke you , in such an action , and whether tends this course : learne of mee ( if you know not ) the waies of deepe policies are secret , and full of vnknowen windings ; that is their act , this will be their issue : so casting beyond the moone , he makes wise and iust proceedings suspected . in all his predictions , and imaginations , hee euer lights vpon the worst ; not what is most likely will fall out , but what is most ill . there is nothing that he takes not with the left hand ; no text which his glosse corrupts not . wordes , oaths , parchments , seales , are but broken reeds ; these shall neuer deceiue him ; he loues no paiments but reall . if but one in an age haue miscarried , by a rare casualtie , he misdoubts the same euent . if but a tile fallen from an hie roofe haue brained a passenger , or the breaking of a coach-wheele haue indangered the burden ; hee sweares hee will keepe home ; or take him to his horse . hee dares not come to church , for feare of the croud ; nor spare the sabbaths labour for feare of the want ; nor come neere the parliament house , because it should haue beene blowen vp ; what might haue beene , affects him as much as what will be . argue , vow , protest , sweare , he heares thee , and beleeues himselfe . hee is a scepticke , and dare hardly giue credit to his senses which hee hath often arraigned of false intelligence . hee so liues , as if he thought all the world were theeues , and were not sure whether himselfe were one : hee is vncharitable in his censures , vnquiet in his feares ; bad enough alwaies , but in his owne opinion much woorse than he is . the characterism of the ambitious . ambition is a proud couetousnes , a dry thirst of honor , the longing disease of reason , an aspiring , and gallant madnesse . the ambitious climes vp high and perillous staires , and neuer cares how to come downe ; the desire of rising hath swallowed vp his feare of a fall . hauing once cleaued ( like a burre ) to some great mans coat , he resolues not to be shaken off with any small indignities , and finding his holde thorowly fast , casts how to insinuate yet neerer ; and therefore , hee is busie and seruile in his indeuours to please , and all his officious respects turn home to himselfe . he can be at once a slaue to command , an intelligencer to informe , a parasite to sooth and flatter , a champian to defend , an executioner to reuenge ; any thing for an aduantage of fauour . he hath proiected a plot to rise , and woe be to the friend that stands in his way : hee still haunteth the court , and his vnquiet spirit haunteth him ; which hauing fetch 't him from the secure peace of his countrey-rest , sets him new and impossible taskes ; & after many disappointments incourages him to trie the same sea in spight of his shipwracks ; and promises better successe . a small hope giues him heart against great difficulties , and drawes on new expense , new seruilitie ; perswading him ( like foolish boyes ) to shoot away a second shaft , that he may finde the first . he yeeldeth , and now secure of the issue , applauds him selfe in that honour , which hee still affecteth , still misseth ; and for the last of all trials , will rather bribe for a troublesome preferment , than returne void of a title . but now when hee finds himselfe desperately crossed , and at once spoiled both of aduancement and hope , both of fruition and possibilitie , all his desire is turned into rage , his thirst is now onely of reuenge ; his tongue sounds of nothing but detraction & slander : now the place he sought for is base , his riuall vnworthie , his aduersarie iniurious , officers corrupt , court infectious ; and how well is he that may be his owne man , his owne master ; that may liue safely in a meane distance , at pleasure , free from staruing , free from burning . but if his designes speed well ; ere hee bee warme in that seat , his minde is possessed of an higher . what he hath is but a degree to what he would haue : now he scorneth what hee formerly aspired to ; his successe doth not giue him so much contentment , as prouocation ; neither can he be at rest , so long as he hath one , either to ouerlook , or to match , or to emulate him . when his countrey-friend comes to visit him , hee carries him vp to the awfull presence ; and now in his sight crouding neerer to the chaire of state , desires to bee lookt on , desires to be spoken to , by the greatest , and studies how to offer an occasion , lest hee should seeme vnknowen , vnregarded ; and if any gesture of the least grace fall happilie vpon him , he looks backe vpon his friend , lest hee should carelesly let it passe , without a note : and what hee wanteth in sense , he supplies in historie . his disposition is neuer but shamefully vnthankfull ; for vnlesse he haue all , he hath nothing . it must be a large draught , whereof he will not say , that those few droppes do not slake , but inflame him : so still hee thinks himselfe the worse for small fauours . his wit so contriues the likely plots of his promotion , as if hee would steale it away without gods knowledge , besides his will ; neither doth he euer looke vp , and consult in his forecasts , with the supreme moderator of all things ; as one that thinks honor is ruled by fortune , and that heauen medleth not with the disposing of these earthly lots : and therefore it is iust with that wise god to defeat his fairest hopes , and to bring him to a losse in the hotest of his chace ; and to cause honour to flie away so much the faster , by how much it is more egerly pursued . finally , he is an importunate sutor , a corrupt client , a violent vndertaker , a smooth factor , but vntrusty , a restlesse master of his owne ; a bladder puft vp with the winde of hope , and selfe-loue . hee is in the common body as a mole in the earth , euer vnquietly casting ; and in one word is nothing but a confused heape of enuie , pride , couetousnesse . the vnthrift . he ranges beyond his pale , and liues without compasse . his expence is measured not by abilitie , but will. his pleasures are immoderate , and not honest . a wanton eye , a lickerous tongue , a gamesome hand haue impouerisht him . the vulgar sort call him bountifull , and applaud him while he spends , and recompence him with wishes when he giues , with pitie when he wants : neither can it be denied that he raught true liberalitie , but ouer-went it . no man could haue liued more laudably , if when he was at the best , he had stayed there . while he is present none of the wealthier guests may pay ought to the shot , without much vehemencie , without danger of vnkindnesse . vse hath made it vnpleasant to him , not to spend . he is in all things more ambitious of the title of good fellowship than of wisdome . when he looks into the wealthie chest of his father , his conceit suggests that it cannot be emptied ; and while hee takes out some deale euery day , hee perceiues not any diminution ; and when the heape is sensiblie abated , yet still flatters himselfe with enough : one hand couzens the other , and the bellie deceiues both : he doth not so much bestow benefits , as scatter them . true merit doth not cary them , but smoothnesse of adulation : his senses are too much his guides , and his purueyors ; and appetite is his steward . he is an impotent seruant to his lusts ; and knowes not to gouerne either his minde or his purse . improuidence is euer the companion of vnthriftinesse . this man can not looke beyond the present , & neither thinks , nor cares what shall be ; much lesse suspects what may be : and while he lauishes out his substance in superfluities , thinks hee onely knowes what the world is woorth , and that others ouerprize it . hee feeles pouertie before he sees it , neuer complaines till hee be pinched with wants ; neuer spares till the bottome , when it is too late either to spend or recouer . hee is euerie mans friend saue his owne , and then wrongs himselfe most , when he courteth himselfe with most kindnesse . hee vies time with the slothfull , and it is an hard match , whether chases away good houres to worse purpose ; the one by doing nothing , the other by idle pastime . hee hath so dilated himselfe with the beames of prosperitie , that he lies open to all dangers , and cannot gather vp himselfe , on iust warning , to auoid a mischiefe . hee were good for an almner , ill for a steward . finally , he is the liuing tombe of his fore-fathers , of his posteritie , and when he hath swallowed both , is more emptie than before he deuoured them . the enuious . hee feeds on others euils , & hath no disease but his neighbors welfare : whatsoeuer god do for him , he can not be happie with companie ; and if hee were put to chuse , whether hee would rather haue equals in a common felicitie , or superiors in miserie , hee would demurre vpon the election . his eye casts out too much , and neuer returnes home , but to make comparisons with anothers good . he is an ill prizer of forraine commoditie ; worse of his own : for , that , he rates too hie , this vnder value . you shall haue him euer inquiring into the estates of his equals and betters ; wherein he is not more desirous to heare all , than loth to heare any thing ouer-good : and if iust report relate ought better than he would , he redoubles the question , as being hard to beleeue what hee likes not ; and hopes yet , if that be auerred againe to his griefe , that there is somewhat concealed in the relation , which if it were knowen , would argue the commended partie miserable , and blemish him with secret shame . hee is readie to quarrell with god , because the next field is fairer growen ; and angerly calculates his cost , and time , and tillage . whom hee dares not openly backbite , nor wound with a direct censure , he strikes smoothly with an ouer-cold praise ; and when hee sees that hee must either maliciously oppugne the the iust praise of another ( which were vnsafe ) or approoue it by assent , he yeeldeth ; but showes withall that his meanes were such , both by nature , and education , that he could not without much neglect , be lesse commendable : so his happinesse shall be made the colour of detraction . when an wholsome law is propounded , he crosseth it , either by open , or close opposition ; not for any incommoditie or inexpedience , but because it proceeded from any mouth , besides his owne ; and it must be a cause rarely plausible , that will not admit some probable contradiction . when his equall should rise to honor , he striues against it vnseene ; and rather with much cost suborneth great aduersaries ; and when hee sees his resistance vaine , he can giue an hollow gratulation in presence ; but in secret , disparages that aduancement ; either the man is vnfit for the place , or the place for the man ; or if fit , yet lesse gainfull , or more common than opinion ; whereto he ads , that himselfe might haue had the same dignitie vpon better termes , and refused it . hee is wittie in deuising suggestions to bring his riuall out of loue , into suspicion . if he be curteous , he is seditiously popular ; if bountifull , he bindes ouer his clients to a faction ; if succesfull in war , hee is dangerous in peace ; if wealthie , hee laies vp for a day ; if powerfull , nothing wants but opportunitie of rebellion . his submission is ambitious hypocrisie , his religion , politike insinuation ; no action is safe from a iealous construction . when hee receiues an ill report of him whom hee emulates ; hee saith , fame is partiall , and is wont to blanch mischiefs ; and pleaseth himselfe with hope to finde it worse ; and if ill-will haue dispersed any more spightful narration , hee layes holde on that , against all witnesses ; and brocheth that rumor for trust , because worst : and when he sees him perfectly miserable , he can at once pitie him , and reioyce . what himselfe can not doe , others shall not : he hath gained well , if hee haue hindred the successe of what he would haue done , and could not . he conceales his best skill , not so as it may not be knowen that he knowes it , but so as it may not be learned ; because he would haue the world misse him . he attained to a soueraigne medicine by the secret legacie of a dying empericke , whereof he will leaue no heire , lest the praise should be diuided . finally , he is an enemie to gods fauors , if they fall beside himselfe ; the best nurse of ill fame ; a man of the worst diet ; for he consumes himselfe , and delights in pining ; a thorne-hedge couered with nettles ; a peeuish interpreter of good things , and no other then a leane and pale carcase quickened with a feend . characters of vertue and vice described in the persons of the wise-man, the valiant man ... attempted in verse from a treatise of the reverend joseph hall, late lord bishop of exeter / by n. tate. tate, nahum, - . approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : - (eebo-tcp phase ). a wing h estc r ocm this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : ) characters of vertue and vice described in the persons of the wise-man, the valiant man ... attempted in verse from a treatise of the reverend joseph hall, late lord bishop of exeter / by n. tate. tate, nahum, - . hall, joseph, - . characters of vertues and vices. [ ], p. printed for francis saunders ..., london : . reproduction of original in duke university library. bishop hall's "characters of vertues and vices" was published in . tate here paraphrases of hall's "characters". created by converting tcp files to tei p using tcp tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between and available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the , texts created during phase of the project have been released into the public domain as of january . anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. % (or pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf- unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p , characters represented either as utf- unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng characters and characteristics. virtue -- early works to . vice -- early works to . - tcp assigned for keying and markup - spi global keyed and coded from proquest page images - tcp staff (michigan) sampled and proofread - john latta text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion characters of vertue and vice . describ'd in the persons of the wise-man , the valiant man , the truly noble , the patient man , the true friend , the hypocrite , the superstitious , the profane , the busy-body , the envious . attempted in verse from a treatise of the reverend ioseph hall , late lord bishop of exeter . by n. tate . london , printed for francis saunders , at the blue-anchor , in the lower walk of the new-exchange , . preface . the representing of vertue and vice in their respective beauties and deformities , is the genuine task of poetry : the true and proper themes of panegyrick and satyr . the giving precepts of morality was originally the employment of the muses , and establish'd their first reputation . few poets have excell'd who merited not the character ascrib'd by horace to homer : qui quid sit pulchrum , quid turpe , quid utile , quid non , pleniùs ac meliùs chrysippo & crantore dicit . it was for useful prescriptions of politie and private life , that orpheus and amphion were celebrated , and the faculty it self reputed sacred : sic honor & nomen divinis vatibus atque carminibus venit . if the virgil's and horace's of our age could have been prevail'd with to have adorn'd the following subjects , it had sav'd my imperfect performance . but i could not refuse the temptation , when it was propos'd to me to proceed upon the hints and groundwork of a treatise written by the ingenious and learned d r hall , bishop of exeter ; by which means my reader would be secure of good sense in the version . if i have added no grains , i hope that , at least , i have lost nothing of the oar in melting it down . the character of some vices will naturally run into humour , requiring instances and expressions that are familiar , and sermoni propiora . in a word , i am sufficiently sensible of my imperfections in this essay , but comfort my self with the hopes that abler performers may be incited , in meer compassion , to rescue such worthy subjects from so ill hands . the man of wisdom . the man that 's wise to know all things aspires , but first the knowledge of himself desires : how far the compass of his strength can go ; but his own weakness studdies most to know . he reasons more by practice than by rule ; his logick's learnt in observation 's school . taught by experience truly to reflect , can first himself and then his friends direct . he ne'er suspends but in a doubtful case ; ne'er doubts where resolution should take place . of ev'ry needful thing just care do's take , but most concern'd for his immortal stake . without that scope counts fruitless each endeavour , nor would be happy once , if not for ever . himself best knowing best himself can trust , others so far as he has prov'd them just. the world may him deceive but ne'er abuse , who trusts no more than he can bear to lose . while close retirement is to him a skreen , himself looks through and sees the world , unseen : yet shews , when forc'd the day-light to abide , prudence , not affectation , made him hide . does never , causeless , from his purpose range , when reason calls , he never fears to change. while th' ablest master he 's allow'd to be , no scholar more dispos'd to learn than he. from ev'ry thing instruction he can draw , and from him each instruction is a law. to ages past his nimble thoughts can climb , in things to come prevent the speed of time. unborn events by past events forestall , and in conjecture be prophetical . his passions he ne'er suffers to rebel , or hastens their first mutiny to quell . by honour's light in all his projects sails , and boards a second when a former fails . makes disappointment but improve his skill , and fetches strength from what succeeded ill . some wrongs he sees not but with silent art , dissembles wounds too pow'rful foes impart . loves to owe less in good turns than he may , for bad wou'd be in debt and never pay . censures , unjust or just , alike to him ; those he deserves not , these he can contemn . slights scandal , lays no violent hands on blame , gives slander scope till it expire with shame . his joy no fears , his hope knows no despairs , safe in the circle of his own affairs . from others strife he timely do's retire , nor thrusts his hand into a needless fire . he best the purchase of his wit can tell , and how to value , keep and use it well . himself his own best lawyer , and his skill , his readiest and most faithful oracle . consulted , he 's in no man's business blind , but in his own of more than eagle-kind . the valiant man. bold without rashness , without fury , warm : he long consults , but do's with speed perform . he seeks not dangers : when on him they press , he bears 'em down with courage and success . arm'd death enthron'd on slaughter he can spy , march on , and with a scornful smile pass by . forecasts the worst events , and in his thought , before one stroke exchang'd , the battle 's fought . if unexpected ills his heart surprize , one minute to disperse 'em will suffice : with instant sally he prevents the blow , and turns amazement back upon the foe . ne'er seen to fly , but from some foul offence , and fears no strength below omnipotence . peace he wou'd chuse , and when the sword he draws , he looks not on his hand but on his cause . nor weighs what succors wait to take his part , how strong his arm , but innocent his heart . o'erpower'd may fall , with numbers vanquisht be , and leave the foe to blush at victory . call'd out by honour to some bold attacque , his hearts blood may be seen , but ne'er his back . on base conditions he disdains to live , and what he asks , would to the vanquish'd give . ne'er known the blood of innocents to shed , on carcases , or suppliant foes to tread ; he 'll rather stifle wrongs he might resent , than take revenge upon the impotent . nor can determine which he 'd rather be , of cowardice impeach'd , or cruelty . his sparing words no room for boast affords , his readiest language is , his hand and sword. by action heard , whose never-ceasing force , keeps every talker furnish'd with discourse . not idlely prodigal of life or blood , but sparing neither for his countrey 's good . while fate does noble means of life supply , he lives ; but those refus'd , can bravely dye . his pow'r ( to which his reason still gives laws , ) it 's right confest , the exercise withdraws . thinks he does then the greatest triumph gain , when he can hurt , yet from revenge abstain . without servility he can obey , and in command no tyranny display . he courts not fortune's smiles , nor fears her hate , nor can she change his mind with his estate . that his high spirit still o'erlooks mischance , springs not from senselesness nor ignorance ; but th' utmost pow'r of fate computing first , he knows her strength , and bids her do her worst . in purpose cool , in resolution fir'd , in enterprizes , daring and untir'd ; glorious , though not successful in design , and when o'ercome , his heart does last resign . the truly noble . advantages of ancestry and birth , he counts but fortune's gift , and borrow'd worth : what he atchieves he only calls renown , and honour purchas'd by himself , his own. if short his glory's estimate be found of what his noble ancestors had crown'd , the bright inheritance but proves his shame ; not rais'd , but burthen'd by descended fame . no greatness makes him scorn or pride express , still higher rais'd he still wou'd seem the less . life from his soul as soon divorc'd may be , as from his manners native courtesy : which for no servile or ambitious end of popular applause he does extend , but from the genuine sweetness of his frame , and noble justice to himself and fame . his hand is open , yet his glory still is govern'd by his fortune not his will. and wisely bounteous can distinguish right , betwixt a friend and fawning parasite . most men their favours sell , exchange , or lend , he only does his kindnesses expend . he wou'd no licence from his greatness gain , and without goodness counts his titles vain . from pow'r no priv'lege claims to be unjust , nor makes prerogative a bawd to lust ; conscience and honour both his actions bind , by eminence to stricter laws confin'd . each vertue has it's ornament and use in his just notion , and no vice excuse . he no man guilty makes to make him great , and ev'n his creatures with respect can treat . oblige , yet not on liberty intrude , or turn dependance into servitude . he seeks no forg'd pretence , without reward an old and worn-out servant to discard : their duty , faith , and diligence to bind the sweetness of his service makes 'em find . for him , no vassals can their toil repent , their industry's not lost , but only lent. the difference 'twixt his wealth and honour , is , that , in receiving stands , in giving , this. he 'll be oblig'd to few ; but does not care how large the number that his favours share . asks who wants most , not who can best repay ; and ne'er repines at favours cast away . can constancy in all estates express , himself a-like to peace and war address . then , most his countreys servant he is found , when she to his command has set no bound . more pleas'd true worship to his god to give , than civil honours from mankind receive . for fame , relies not on the world's applause , but what from heav'n it 's approbation draws . of true nobility conceives this sense , the blood its body only to dispense ; the soul derives from vertue 's eminence . descended honours he reputes to cease , unless his nobler deeds the tale encrease , that glory does admit no careless heir , and not t' improve the stock is to impair . the patient man. the patient man has so much strength attain'd , and o'er himself so large a conquest gain'd , that safe from foreign wrongs he does remain ; they came too late to conquer him again . boldly to suffer , is his valour 's test , he 's most victorious when he 's most opprest . while under mountain-loads himself he rears , of more than humane courage he appears , and is , if rightly we his sufferings scan , 'bove nature rais'd while he seems less than man. his love and charity are ever bent to construe all things with a fair intent . to small and doubtful injuries he 's blind , gross wrongs he 'll think not done , or not design'd ; not meant , or not to him ; if both appear , from malice still his injuries he 'll clear ; he 'll say mis-information caus'd th' offence , and when it cannot bear so mild a sense , call 't rash , and with the hasty fault dispense . patient he is , but yet not tame or base : he wants not courage but abounds in grace . to take revenge for harms , as man he dares ; resents as man , but as a christian spares . he 's god's best witness , and before the bar for truths fair sake , undaunted can appear ; hear unconcern'd the false accuser's voice , receive , and in his unjust doom rejoice . a prison is his palace , and to him pages of honour all his jaylors seem , the dungeon his retiring room he counts , and to the rack as to a throne he mounts ; his torturers worst cruelty disdains , suffers his own , and baffles all their pains . just pity the beholders does inspire , unpitying and remorseless foes , admire . his hopes to no discouragements can yield , they still advance , or keep at least the field . where once the path of kindness he has trod , no obstacles can make him quit the road. if no impression his first favours make , he still redoubles till he wins the stake . can after shipwrack try the sea , and beat at the deaf door he ne'er saw open'd yet . different events alike to him befal , he sees the hand of providence in all. when that protects , he pays his grateful vows , and when it strikes , to just correction bows . can vertue from necessity produce , and with strange , art put evil to good use. in conquest does beyond the warriour go , the surest friend , the latest easiest foe : than others so much happier does appear , as he can more and worse mis-fortunes bear . the true friend . united , yet divided is his breast ; half by himself , all by his friend possest . his choice by sympathy of souls is bred , by worth and vertue , not by int'rest led . he pays affection 'cause the debt is just , and loves because he ought , because he must . contracts with caution , and considers long , but once agreed , no bargain is more strong . he chuses so as he may ne'er complain , like one that never meant to chuse again . and e'er his love can vary one degree , his friend quite alter'd from himself must be : let just occasion his submission move , a servant to his equal he can prove . to serve him condescends with greater joy , than his inferiour's service to employ . advanc'd to pow'r his friendship still is found in it's old garb , familiar , plain , and sound . for his friend's sake with honours he complies , yields to be great to help his friend to rise . his friend expir'd , his self 's but half alive , his friendship only do's his friend survive . death to his love no dissolution brings , it but divides the stream to sundry springs . for now the tender orphans , left too young to know their father's worth , to him belong ; adopted his , the burden of his cares , his heart 's near kin , and his affections heirs . he 's so much stricter , and more nicely just , for having lost the witness of his trust. where honesty or nature can comply , he grants a frank and full community . to friendship 's entrance leaves an open field without reserves , but what were sin to yield . no longer can enjoy that thing whose use he thinks would more to his friend 's good conduce . his charity does still a cloak provide of secrecy , his friend's defects to hide . much by concealment from the publick view , by close reproof more proves his friendship true . and when the watchful kindness of his friend finds just occasion him to reprehend , he thanks his frank chastiser on that score , more loves him as he makes him smart the more . to him as to the closet of his cares , with doubts , complaints , his wellcome friend repairs ; unburdens there the secrets of his mind , leaves all lock'd up , and as he leaves may find . let grief at once his friend and him surround , his sense still quickest for his friend is found ; bleeds in his own , but smarts in his friend's wound . no hour's unseasonable , no pains displease , no cost can grievous seem to give him ease . no envious lookers on can baulk his zeal , but what he does he rather wou'd conceal , best pleas'd when a good office he can steal . favours receiv'd , in memory's book he sets , what he bestow's as zealously forgets . he 's sorrow's comfort , difficulty's guide , the joy of life , earth's treasure , and its pride ; an angel cloath'd in flesh , and near to god ally'd . the end of the characters on vertue . the hypocrite . the hypocrite to sadness can convert his looks , while mirth is rev'lling in his heart , then jugler-like with pleasure does retreat , to think how smoothly he has pass'd the cheat. how with false stamps of vertue on his face , the miscreant passes for a babe of grace . with early patience waits at the church door , and e'er half enter'd he salutes the floor , but still observing with a transvers'd eye , what passenger does his devotion spy . if cognizance to take he none perceives , ftets inward , and at his lost labour grieves . looks round with admiration on the crowd ; of frozen charity complains aloud . takes care to have his pew plac'd best in sight , in hast plucks forth his tables as to write some sermon-note , mean while does only scrawl , forgotten errands there , or nought at all : then with a noise whisks his boss'd bible o'er , where he for some quotation seems to pore ; and glancing from one chapter to a next , folds down the leaf as he had found the text. enquires the preacher's name , stays last i' th' church , to con him thanks , and waits him to the porch . when of his youth he speaks , his tears flow fast ; not for his youth's sins , but because 't is past. his lesser vices frankly are confest , all but the reigning belial of his breast . gives publick alms , and those but when he must , nor without witness god himself will trust . with usuries , superfluity he gilds extortion , and an hospital he builds . and thinks th' injustice largely is repaid , to keep ten beggars for ten thousand made . from flesh on friday with a greater dread he does abstain than from his neighbour's bed. to swear by god's name rather will allow , than at the name of jesus not to bow. to him when fustian poet reads his stuff , he begs a copy , cryes 't is censure-proof . finds nothing that 's amiss while th' authour stays , and nothing , when the fop's withdrawn , to praise . by his step-mothers sick-bed he can weep , wish her sound rest , that is , eternal sleep . i' th' street he greets his friend with chearful eyes , and hugging close , when will you come ? he cries . but curses him in 's heart if he complies . small fare affords , yet ev'n that small does grutch , close-frowning on his wife , that 't is so much . for what he seems and says , he well might pass , himself 's the very worst thing that he has . his neighbours nuissance , and the strangers saint ; or in a word , his character to paint , angel abroad , at home a spirit evil , and when an angel worse than when a devil . the superstitious . what monster , superstition , is like thee , thou godless zeal , devout impiety . the superstitious wight is folly's heir , fond in observance , servile in his fear . he worships god but as he lists ; in what is not requir'd , he 'll supererogate . give more , give all , except what god demands , and makes more duties than the ten commands . till cross'd and sprinkl'd dares not stir abroad , comes back if but a hare run thwart his road. if he but trips at door , or on his way , but recollects it was no lucky day of setting out , ( though all 's estate depend ) turns back in sight of his long journey 's end. if salt fall tow'rds him he looks pale and red , stares as the house were tumbling on his head. nor can recover breath till that mis-hap be purg'd by shedding wine into his lap. if he but sneeze , his eyes around he sends , thinks them who don 't uncover , not his friends . to judge the weather walks betimes abroad , and hearks if even the crow cry , or odd. if but a raven croak in dead of night , he makes his will as he had heard a spright . or if a dream shall in his brains ferment , a garden , or departed friend present ; his senses are into confusion hurl'd , bespeaks his coffin , and takes leave o' th' world. on such days only he 'll set out by water , nor for the world without his erra pater . st. paul's day for his oracle does take , and swythin's is his surest almanack . no sin afflicts him on his dying bed , but having once of flesh on friday fed . he thinks the rest can no repentance need , and no repentance can for that succeed . his dreams , for sure predictions must avail , and if th' event his exposition fail ; his wits are then on new solutions bent , and he expounds according to th' event . old wives and stars are all his councellors , for recipe's 'gainst sickness , charms he wears ; for tooth-ach paracelsian characters . impossibilities the credulous elf calls miracles , and streins to cheat himself . let him but hear that in a distant soil , some sacred block does speak , move , weep , or smile ; he bare-foot hies his off'ring there to pay , and if a danger miss him in the way ; if he but scape the muting of a crow , the timber-saint a miracle did show . some roads he baulks , for goblins there he feigns , each lanthorn's will o' th' wisp , and ev'ry noise of chains . his custom ( for what cause he ne'er cou'd know ) is , with some little compass still to go ; here to pass nimbly , there to make a stand , and ever leave the cross on his right hand . his method has no reason ; yet no force threats nor entreaties make him change his course . if he have thum'd his beads , and pray'd his tale , he 's safe enough ; it matters not for zeal . and lastly , with respect to heav'n , might he the carver of his own obedience be , god never cou'd a better servant have , but , as he is , has no perverser slave . the profane . in mad extreams the superstitious own too many gods , but the profane has none : unless himself his deity he make , and for his fanci'd heaven , the world does take . he breaths and moves , but to religion dead , all sense of fear , of love , or care is fled . his heart without impression does remain , tir'd conscience there repeats her strokes in vain . custom of sin this senselessness has wrought , inur'd , and to the anvils hardness brought . long rooted vice admits of no redress , he pleads prescription now for wickedness . ( by slow ascents these impious heights we gain , are sinful born , but make our selves profane : ) through carelessness his vicious course begins , he sins at last , and knows not that he sins . reason too late her counsel wou'd afford ; she 's now his slave , and appetite his lord. sense is his only creed ; if so it chance , that piety his int'rest may advance ; a cloak of sanctity he can provide , and what he counterfeits at once deride . does sacrifice to 's nets : when projects hit , he either thanks his fortune , or his wit ; but providence must nought have there to do , he 'll rather make false gods than own the true. when ought miscarries , destinies to blame , on heav'ns unkindness he does then exclaim . reviles the pow'r , to whose indulgent sway he wou'd not be beholden if he may . oft-times his conscience fain with him wou'd speak , he sets the day , but does th' appointment break . and when aloud she does for audience cry , he drowns the noise with rev'ling company . god's name does never but in oaths express , and never thinks of him but in distress : and then his thoughts in dark confusion sink , cause he but then begins of him to think . his maker he 'll accuse himself to free , and charges all his guilt on god's decree . ingratefully thinks his condition hard , to be from pleasures poyson'd sweets debarr'd . does goodness , minstrel-like , for sport bring forth , and sacred things are still his choicest mirth . to mimickry turns grace , and vertue 's rules , and best diverted with religion's fools . a slander for each vertue can invent , and in false colours ev'ry vice present . he boasts of his young sins , and past offence , with cold remembrance feeds his impotence . enormous crimes the libertine has wrought , ambitious , yet more wicked to be thought . a lewder than himself can grieve to see , and in damnation grudge precedency . hell does in him less fear than death create , as being sure of this , and doubting that . to th' church as to a theater resort , for custom , company , for sleep , or sport. self-love is all he ever understood , nor that enough to seek his own true good. he breaks through gratitude and friendship 's ties , nor cares on whom he treads , so he may rise . his life does one licentious practice seem , and ev'ry vice its centre has in him. god's hatred , and his curse ; a mass of evil , in body only diff'ring from a devil . the busy-body . his own estate 's too narrow for his mind , and room in other men's affairs he 'll find . in friend and strangers business he will move , and ever with the same pretence of love. no news can pass his door , and , good or ill , he cannot know the thing he does not tell . he knows the rates of traffique to a hair , what forces the confederates can prepare , how swedeland , and how denmark will declare . though trav'ling on affairs of life and death , he 'll stop the post , and talk him out of breath . and if his humour , or his hast refuse , ride back with him , and piece-meal catch the news . and if through speed th' intelligence does fail , his wit supplies , and makes a perfect tale. then woe to the next man that he comes near , blow , rain , or lighten , he must stay to hear ; and hear him out , while in a tedious round , the listner and himself he does confound . disjointedly each sentence does express , with long successions of parentheses . retrencht , to let his stream of matter run , but vows to fill 'em up e'er he has done . if two together in the street he views discoursing closely , he concludes strange news . but if a letter be produc'd , he 's charm'd , and of the secret begs to be inform'd . deny'd , it serves his turn almost as well , if him of wonders they 'll permit to tell . then with a scotish mine he does begin , of a whole shoal of whales come up at linn . thank him , a thousand times your thanks repeat , all 's one , his tongue it 's larum must compleat . you 'll name no undertaking which he 'll baulk , but all concludes , where it commenc'd , in talk. he 'll teach another what himself ne'er knew , and be a guide in ways he ne'er pass'd through . look in at 's neighbour's window , and demand the reason why his servants idle stand . call'd to another's table , 't is his way to slander some third person , and convey the tale to him that 's wrong'd , whom having sworn to secrecy , with speed he does return to his first host , and this dark practice ply , till both are set on fire they know not why . his ears are quick , and no less quick his eyes , to imperfections these , and those to lyes . he stops another's servant , takes him in , treats him , and does his master's health begin ; thence slily falls to ask of his affairs , what sort of company t' his house repairs ; what is their usual fare , and what discourse passes at meals . thus does th' extorter force ; but , soon as drein'd , the guest his leave must take , and room for fresh intelligencers make . this man thinks constancy a dull disgrace , and still is shifting of his work and place ; but of no place can half so weary seem , or half so soon , as is the place of him. in each acquaintance he has got a foe , for not to hate him you must him not know . he toils unthank'd , he talks without belief , living has no man's love , dead , no man's grief ; unless by chance the last defect's supply'd , and some may grieve that he no sooner dy'd . the envious . the envious feeds upon his neighbours ills , and no disease , but others wellfare , feels . god's benefits perversly does destroy ; with company no blessing can enjoy . wou'd rather have superiours in distress , than equals in a common happiness . he 's an ill prizer of his neighbour's store , and yet , his own computing , he errs more : on neither the just value will bestow , for , that he rates too high , and this too low. he asks in what repute his equals live ; about his betters more inquisitive . if just report his envious search defeat , in closer terms his question he 'll repeat . and when his spight can fasten on no flaw , his snakes turn back his own rank heart to gnaw . with god he quarrels , if his neighbour's field with better tillage , fairer grain does yield . for one chance-blight he murmurs and inveys , for ten successive crops no thanks repays . whom openly he dares not to traduce , with short or over-praise he will abuse . allows his rival all things but his right , and most in commendation shews his spight . if courteous his competitor appear , he 's then inveigling , crafty , popular . if bountiful , a faction is design'd , to which with bribes he does his clients bind . and if in war his rival has success , he 's so much more a dang'rous man in peace . by industry in wealth , or power grown strong , he 's hoarding up of means for future wrong . thus does the envious man distort and force true worth , and turn each vertue to a curse . in his religion policy still lurks , and by submission his ambition works . no law , that had the publick good enclos'd , can pass , because by him not first propos'd . not his own int'rest for that time he weighs , but suffers , to defraud another's praise . if evil of his rival , fame report , he cryes she 's partial , and of truth comes short . what prejudice relates , as being worst , in his recital he still mentions first : knowing that gentler truth too slowly treads , and that the first ill rumour farthest spreads . he 'll stab i' th' dark , and then with pitying voice bemoan the fate that makes his heart rejoice . of his ill deeds his nature is the cause , the good he acts is only for applause . and that which cannot to his share befal to do , he still takes care no other shall . of his best skill he just enough will show , to let the world perceive what he does know ; his med'cine's sov'raign use he will reveal , the art to make 't , does ev'n in death conceal ; pleas'd that he can a prize from mankind steal . god's blessings , if beside himself they fall , his curses prove , and make him burst with gall. yet after all there 's none can grudge the elf his diet , for the miscreant eats himself . to turn a devil he waits but his life's end , till then a carcase quicken'd by a fiend . finis . the life of alexander the great , written in latin by quintus curtius , translated into english by several hands , and now dedicated to the queen . by n. tate . the house of correction: or, certayne satyricall epigrams. written by i.h. gent. together with a few characters, called par pari: or, like to like, quoth the deuill to the collier house of correction. i. h. approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : - (eebo-tcp phase ). a stc estc s this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : ) the house of correction: or, certayne satyricall epigrams. written by i.h. gent. together with a few characters, called par pari: or, like to like, quoth the deuill to the collier house of correction. i. h. heath, john, fellow of new college, oxford, attributed name. [ ] p. : ill. printed by bernard alsop, for richard redmer, and are to be sold at his shoppe at the west end of saint pauls church, london : . sometimes attributed to john heath. partly in verse. signatures: a-c d⁴. 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no. the world shall see thee first ; and seeing , know whether thou merit'st prayse : none shall haue cause to be condem'd of folly in the applause . of thy harsh lines , the worst that can be thought is this , that none would write , they were so naught . alas , poore booke , hunt not thou after prayse , nor dare to stretch thy hand vnto the bayes vpon a poets head : let it suffice to thee and me , the world doth vs despise . for 't is a mad world , and it turnes on hinges , whilst some a birding goe , and set their springes for to catch woodcocks . others sting and bite like wasps and mastiffs , and doe take delight to quarrell with their shaddowes , nay , themselues , and their owne broode . sure these are spitefull ●●●es . 〈◊〉 at all writers striue to haue a l●rke : meddle not with them , lest thou get a yerke : and yet their venamous breath ( as on a glasse ) no sooner lighteth , but away doth passe . then feare them not . the wise , which know thee best , will entertayne thee , as a welcome ghest ; prayse that 's prayse-worthy , winke at faults but small , like thy conceits , and prayse thy vayne withall . yet be not proude , though thou their prayse dost gayne , remembring what is writ is writ in vayne . t is for a better pen then mine to say by god 't is good , and if you lik's you may . epigrams . ¶ lectori . my epigrams , like to a wandring guest , or tattard souldier , that 's but lately prest , your fauour craues , to grant a passe vnto them , a greater kindnesse you can neuer doe them . bibens his bountie . bibens , to shew his liberalitie , made lusus drunke . a noble qualitie , and much esteemed , which bibens fayne would proue , to be the signe of his familiar loue . lusus , beware , thou 'lt finde him in the end familier deuill , no familier friend . i● ducum . dvcus keepes house : and it with reason stands that he keepe house , that sold away his lands ¶ omne simile non est idem . together as we walkt , a friend of mine mistook a painted maddame for a signe , that in a window stood ; but i acquainted , told him , it was no woodden signe was painted , but maddam ( — . ) yea true , sayd he , yet 't is a signe of little modestie . gr●●e pondus . what tell you vs that milo bore a bull ! is that so strange ? yon silke & siluer gull beareth a countrey church vpon his backe . the lighter bull made milo's shoulders ake : a steeple on his head , and at his heeles a ring of bells , and yet nor stoopes nor reeles . on a shoemaker . what bootes it thee to follow such a trade that 's alwayes vnderfoote and vnderlayde ? on fuscus his valour . fvscus the bragart being , in field to fight , protesting of his valour ouernight , shaking his sword , he swore , now by this hand . i le fight and kill so long as i can stand . the field was pitcht : and now begins the fray ; and fuscus now begins to runne away , nor euer stints his course , vntill by flight he had outrunne the danger of the fight . the combat ended , fuscus he was wanting , and found ere long , where he for feare stood panting . and thus they mockt him ; you swore by your hand , you 'ld fight and kill so long as you could stand . 't is true ( sayd one , ) but pray doe fuscus right ; for fuscus neyther stood to kill nor fight . ad rinaldum amic . see , see , rinaldus ! prethee who is that that weares you great greene fether in his hat , like to some tilter ? sure it is some knight , whose wits being greene , his head must needs be light . in lusiam . lvsia , who scornes all others imitations , cannot abide to be out-gone in fashions : she sayes , she cannot haue a hat or ruffe . a gowne , a pettycoate , a band , or cuffe , but that these citizens ( whom she doth hate ) will get into 't , at nere so deare a rate : but lusia now doth such a fashion follow , whose hayre is flax , and band as saffron yellow , that there 's no citizen , what ere she be , can be transformed so like an owle as she . in lincum . lincus the draper , for his more auayle , dams vp his lights to set his ware to sayle ; and counts it ( in his art ) a misterie to gayne by lying , oaths , and flatterie : but take this rule , if lincus his lights stoppe , deeme you his conscience darker then his shoppe . destruit aedificat mutat quadrata rotundis . a man there was ( which here shall not be nam'd ) that with great cost a wondrous building fram'd ; but as the building rose , the builders purse did pine in substance , ( builders common curse . ) it cost him many a pound : but that 's no matter . slightly being built , the building gan to tatter : and by mischance , downe falls of it a part . the workmen ( they being glad with all their heart come to their master , thereof to complayne , and askt his leaue to ●ayse it vp agayne . nay soft ( quoth he ) it is a question whether more may fall downe ; let 's set vp all together . canutus reformation . canutus now will be no more a ranger , but marryed liue , and lye at rack and manger . so meanes not shee . well , if she goe to grasse , hee 'll prooue an oxe , that was before an asse . on a maydens thoyse . a parent to his childe this counsell gaue , quoth he , my girle , two suiters thou must haue , the one is yong and faire , vertuous & wise , of worthiest stocke , and rarest qualities : the other different , both in age and nature , n●yther so fit , nor yet so sweete a creature ; yet be resolued , and make that suiter blest whom in thy loue thou thinkst the worthi●st ? straight she replyes , since choyce is left to mee , nature commands , that age with age agree , vertue and loue compell my heart thereto to loue the youngman ; and in truth i doe . why , but ( sayd he ) be not mistaken than , conceiue , the elder is the better man. how so , quoth she ! it's a paradox to mee , how being the woorse , he can the better bee ? in pigmeum . little pigmeus weares his mistris gloue , her ring , and feather , ( fauours of her loue . ) who could but laugh , to see the little dwarfe grace out himselfe with her imbrodered scarfe ? 't is strange , yet true , her gloue , ring , scarfe and fan , makes him ( vnhansome ) a wel fauoured man. flemminius sickenesse . flemminius nere was sicke ; yet was it sed flemminius he was sicke , yea , sicke and dead : his friends lamented , shedding many a teare : at length it came vnto flemminius care , who thus ●aue answer ; neuer let them feare it , the newes is ill , yet am i glad to heare it . in oblitum . i wondred much ( as i had wondrous reason ) oblitus should , within so short a season , forsake , forget his old and ancient friend , for whom he oft had vow'd his life to spend : i was not altred much , but so was hee , from low estate , to higher dignitie , yet knew i him ; hath he forgotten me ? preferment then hath spoyld his memorie : yet this i know , 't is but his paltry pelfe . he knowes me well ; but he forgets himselfe . lucus iourney . lvcus that trauel'd with an hundred pound , was rob'd , and left wel beaten , and fast bound : but when to share their prize they had begun , no miracle was wrought , yet he vndone . nimis amor. two friends ( that had not met a long time since ) together supt : but at their parting thence , tom swore hee 'd haue kit home : but all in vayne . kit swore as fast hee 'd haue tom backe agayne . in kindnesse thus they striue , and striuing goe from home to home : nor could they end it so ; but too and fro , walking through many a streete : it now being late , the constable they meete . he gaue command ; his bil-men quickly staid them , and took thē thence , & in the compter laid them . and thus by fortune was a meanes prouided to end the strife , which could not be decided : all which was well , but that that fell out worse ; they saued their oath , but could not saue their purse . in priscus commendations of his mistris . priscus commends his mistres for a girle , whose lips are rubies , & whose teeth are pearle . they neede prooue so , or else it will be found he payes too deare , they cost him many a pound : vltra posse non est esse . how should rattillo lose his purse last night , and . shillings in it ? was 't not by slight ? why ? he came in no crowd . what , did hee play ? no. hee 's no gamester . did he no debts pay ? nor fee no lawyers ? neyther . was he not drunk ? neyther . nor did bestow it on his punke ? why , then the question 's this ; if none of these , how should he lose what he had not to leese ? in rufum . as rufus prays'd his beauer hat of late , one that stood by ( striking him o're the pate ) sayd it was felt . rufus would not beleeue it . he stroke againe , till rufus did conceiue it . so darke was the conceit , that out of doubt , he nere had found , had he not felt it out . in cornutum . why should cornutus wife lie in the strand , and hee , poore silly man , lye in the citie ? belike the shop was not sufficient man'd . to part the head and members yet 't is pittie : but what cares she for head ; i hope she scornes were he seauen heads , shee 'd crowne him with ten hornes . richards mourning . when his old master buried was with cost , dick had a mourning cloke , but it was lost . the corse to churchward goes , ech takes his turne , but dick took none : for richard could not mourne . yes , that he did ; the company he forsooke , and mourn'd not in , but mourned for his cloke . flaccu's payment . flaccus came to a tauerne , there to dine , cal'd for good store of meat , great store of wine , the reckoning brought , flaccus sayes not a word , nor drawes his purse ; but out he drawes his sword : some say he proffer'd wrong ; but how thinke you ? he drew vpon the drawer , pay'd his due . he owed him the reckoning but of late : hath he not scored , and payd him on the pate ? on iustice her entertaynment . ivstice came downe from heauen of late to be a perfect iudge , without partialitie : but when that iustice to the bench was come , the bench it was so full she had no roome ; so backe she tooke her flight vnto the heauens , and left the world againe at sixe and seauens . iustice her reward . ivstice fledde vp to heauen , some say was blinde : why so is many a iustice left behinde : but iustice being blinde , the cause regarded , r●spected none nor neuer was rewarded . so say not all , some of the bench agrees , that iustice kept a clarke to take her fees . in briscum . his father being dead , briscus was told , and found ere long where was his fathers gold , all angels rich , but poorely clad in leather . briscus tooke pitty on them , and straight hither sends some for sattin , other some for tissue , gloues , scarfes , hats , hangers : but now marke the issue , they all being freed , did all consent together , and took their flight , poor briscus knows not whither , which he lamēts , blaming those former kings , who made a law , he might not clippe their wings . in ledaem . because i 'me black & swarfe , leda doth scorn me , and if i marry her , she vowes shee 'l horne me : but leda , know ( i speak 't not in disgrace ) your red and white is but a pybauld face . enigma . as often as i please it changeth forme . it is no coward , though it doe no harme : t is neuer hurt , nor euer doth it feede , t is nothing worth , yet nothing doth it neede . swiftly it runnes , yet neuer maketh sound , and once being lost , againe 't is neuer found . 't is a fit seruant for a gentleman , and a true patterne for a seruingman . 't is borne a gyant , liues a dwarfe , and nigh vnto its death , a gyant doth it dye . ad bonos socios . old women told vs tales long time agoe , of robbin goodfellow , what he would doe , who now they say is gone : but yet wee finde , there 's many of his name are left behinde . in pratum iur : cons. i asked pratus what was his profession ? he savd a lawyer , who by h●s discretion , could right and wrong , according to the law , to cherrish vertue , and keepe vice in awe : i know it contrary , and full of ire , setti●g his awe aside , i call'd him lier . on captaine drake his voyage . some thinke it true , whilst other some do doubt , whether capt. drak● compast the world about . some say he did it in the deuils name , and none ere since could doe the like againe : but these are al deceiued , why should they doubt it ? they know each yeere there 's some that goe about it . ad amicam . i i am the happiest ere inioy'd a loue , u. you are the first did euer constant proue : ly . lye down my wandring thoughts , thē take your rest , an . an blessed once , continue euer blest . answere . na . na , he that shall : tour affections grutch , yl . ill be his fortune , since my prayer is such : u. you loue me now , let not affections seuer , i. i loue you now , and i shall loue you euer . will 's error . will sayes his wife 's so fat , she scarce can go : but she as nimbly answeres , faith sir , no. alas , good will , thou art mistaken quite , for all men know that she is wondrous light . spinus his choyce . spinus would wed , but he would haue a wench that hath all tongues , italian , spanish , french , but i diswade him ; for if she hath any , she hath enough ; if two , sh 'as two too many . to mr. richard moore , one of the masters of the chancery , on his name . for to be rich and hard , or hard and rich , is not thy nature , though thy name be such : for to be rich 't is hard , but thou hast store of riches , honour , yet of vertue more : which vertue , honour , riches now adayes being hard to get , more great must be thy prayse , so i , and all that know thee , doe agree , the more 's the pittie there 's no more like thee . to the bookeseller . nay , feare not bookeseller , this booke will sell : for be it good , as thou know'st very well , all will goe buy it ; but say it be ill , all will goe by it too : thus thou sei'st still . vulcans marriage . vvlcan and venus were together wedded : but mars charg'd in , & vulcans venus bedded . what thogh the smith were black , & she were white , she might haue ask't him leaue , for leaue is light : why so is she , what then ? why then she scornes but to make vp the waight with vulcan's hornes . in borachium . borachio sayd , wine made his head too light , and therfore would not drinke it : yet last night carowsing healths , so heauy was his head , he fell asleepe , and there was left for dead : within a while he wak't , and found for right , the wine had made his purse , not head , too light . in dominam membrosam . madam membrosa had to me a suite , to set forth her good parts : and thus i 'le do 't : setting a side thy iudgement , and thy wit , ( which though but little is ) for thee more fit : first , of rare complexion thou hast store , and when 't is gone , ' knowst well where to haue more . then , for thy hayre , ( nay , thinke not i doe flatter ) it cost thee to the tire man , no small matter . fingers like spiders clawes ; nay , not so thicke , and yet to picke a pocket farre more quicke . thou a small foote , nor a short heele do'st lacke , which makes thee fall so often on thy backe . as for thy other parts ( which i know least ) thou get'st thy liuing by ; sure those are best . theeues falling out , true men come by their goods . two cheating mates , whose only trade was shift , to chea●e a countrey fellow was their drift : the place being fi● , they quarrel'd , and fell out , and needes at buffets they would haue a bout : the honest man slept in to part the fray ; but they in bustling , nim'd his purse away : which after missing , he ( poore man ) laments , and that he parted them , greatly repents : but they being parted , part what they had got , and laughed a maine at the poore simple sot , swearing , the ancient prouerbe they had crost , since they fell out , and he his goods had lost . on the sixe cases . no. nanta was nominated for a whore , gin. for that she had bin ginitiue before : da. notice hereof was to the iustice giuen , acc. who her accused , that she had loosely liuen ; vo. but she cry'd mercy , and her fault vpript ' , abl. and so was tane away , and soundly whipt . her case was ill : yet will the question be , being thus declin'd , in what a case was she ? ad lectorem . is 't possible that thou my booke hast bought , that sayd'st 't was nothing worth ! why was it naught ? read it again , perchance thy wit was dul , thou mayst finde something at the second pull : indeed at first thou naught didst vnderstand , for shame get something at the second hand . on luce's maintenance . hee that takes paines shall get , the prouerbe go●s ; but luce takes pleasure , yet doth nothing lose . poore labouring porters , with much toyle & sweat , scarce get sufficient victuals for to eate : but if that luce at any time doth lacke , she with her belly can maintayne her backe . peters trouble . peter is troubled with a froward wife , whose curstnesse makes him wearie of his life : the simple fellow , ( with her rayling crost ) hath often wish't that she her tongue had lost . alas ( poore peter ) sure thy case is ill , when shee 'le nor lose her tongue , nor keepe it still . parnels comfort . parnell , being taken in the very act , was sent vnto bride-well , for such her fact : but be contented , parnell , cease to mourne , th' art at the wheele of fortune , make it turne . in duellum . stratus and stremon went to field to fight , stratus was slayne , and stremon taken streight ; he being condem'd , was saued : yet by this strife , the one , his liuing ; th' other lost his life . in bachum & venèrem . bachus and venus well accord together : and whither bachus goes , venus goes thither : bachus backs venus ; venus for his paine , pleasureth bachus on her backe againe . on venter the merchant . venter the merchant is runne madde , they say , on the report his ships are cast away . what , did he venter with his goods his wits , that he is falne into these franticke fits ? then , peraduenture , it may well be found , the sea his goods , and he his wits hath drown'd . to the gentlewomen painters . appelles , famous for the art of painting , vnto whose worke there naught but life was wāting ; had he cōpar'd , or held with you the strife , he had not wonne , yours comes so neere the life : your portractures you make to speake and goe , appelles workmanship could nere doe so . tempora mutantur & nos mutamur in illis . to be a whore-master , in former time , was by our fathers counted a base crime : how much the world 's worse then it was before , each gallant makes his mistris of his whore. ad iur : cons. words wisely set are worth much gold , so were we by our ancient fathers told , and so we doe beleeue : experience then doth teach vs , lawyers are the wisest men . tom's bargaine . tom should haue payd ten shillings for a sword but would not take it on the cutlers word ; he bid him try 't , he did , at the first stroke it prou'd not worth a point , the point was broke . to mistris e. s. let but thy beautious eyes looke on this line , to see , as in thy glasse , thy beautie shine , which beauty nature gaue thee to disgrace our latter artists , who make vp a face of seeming beautie , for to blinde such eyes , as with pigmalion them doe idolize . should i not praise , what i praise-worthy see , i should doe wrong to nature and to thee : yet , whilst i speake thee faire , so short i come of thy perfection , that i 'me deem'd by some to light the shining sunne : yet from my hand receiue this graine vnto thy heape of sand . epitaph . stay , doe not passe ! here fixe your eyes vpon a virgins obsequies ! pay tribute to a troubled heart , t' is but a teare before you part : and what are teares ? they are but streames of sorrow , which , like frightfull dreames , disturbe your sences - yet i craue no other sacrifice to haue : but if you passe , and let fall none , y' are harder then this marble stone . your loue is colder , and your eyes as senselesse of my miseries . on my venture in sir walter rawleigh's voiage . i being perswaded ( not by reason led ) for gold vnto gwyan aduentured ; great were our hopes of good successe ; for none expected lesse to gaine then fiue for one : but following fate ( she fickle ) thither led , where neyther they of gold nor siluer sped : but , poore , distrest , homeward returne againe , mony , liues , labour , all was spent in vaine . the hopefull necke of their designe was broke ; for all their gold was vanish't into smoke . thus i lost all ; wherefore it is a signe the found no mine of gold , yet gold of mine . a data fata sequtus . the motto on sir walter rawghlie's armes . in costum . costus his custome stole ; but by the way the wayters met him , and his goods did stay : he it denyes , and proffers those to bring , should proue it was no vnaccustomed thing . he meant to steale . if so ? why should they choose such customes , rather to finde then loose . on smithfield . t' was faire at smithfield once , but once a yeere ; at bartholmetide : but now the cities care hath mad● it fayre at all times , paued it round . t' is twentie shillings better by the pound . nor haue they much bestowed their cost amisse , since there 's no soile so plentifull as this ; heere 's hay in great abundance , heads of cattell ; as horses , oxen , hither come to battle : yet what is strangest , it nere needeth dressing . here is the horne of plentie . vulcans blessing . epitaph on a foote-man . this nimble foote-man ran away from death ; and here he rested , being out of breath . here death him ouertooke , made him his slaue , and sent him of an arrant to his graue . censures on the voyage to gwyana . svndry oppinions abroad are spred , why the gwyanians no better sped ; some say , they were preuented out of spayne , others , because some did returne agayne : some say , 't was sicknesse : others , their abode so long ere they put from the english rode. some say , their general 's absence : but the most say , captaine kemish death , when he was lost , all was ouerthrowne , he onely was to doe it , and that sir walter came but rawly to it . on a scriuener . i told a scriuener of his briberie , his broking , forging , cheating , knauery , he sayd , he heard me not ; so 't may appeare , how could he heare , that had no eares to heare ? ad templum pro bonis . haile to this holy place , this ancient seate , where iustice , ioyn'd with wisedome doth intreat of right & wrong , & reads her sacred lawes , more for deuotions sake , then for applause . this is the place chosen to be the helme , where iustice sits , to steare about the realme . both law and equitie , hence iustice driues the charriot of fayre peace , and leades in gyues , wrong , and oppression , throughout the land , whilst peace and plentie ride ioyn'd hand in hand . this is astrea's temple , which is greac't with many a golden vessell , which are plac't in places eminent . those astrea blesse ; and blessing , make their number numberlesse . de templo in malos . saint peters and s. pauls are in disgrace : the middle temple , that ●… the onely place , whither both citie and the countrey come , as to the temple of ierusalem , to heare the law , and many a iew to proffer ; as many an angell . none must come to offer a widdowes mite : for how should liue the scribes , but by false profits , and by double bribes ? doues are brought hither to be bought and sold , and countrey clyants bring their bags of gold hither to change both friends , and foes , & strangers are vs'd alike , for these are money changers . this is a sanctuary that is free for all but sarjants ; yet we doe agree , there 's many good , and graue , whom these things greeues , wer 't not for them , 't were but a denne of theeues . sextus purchase . it may be true ( for sextus in it stands , ) that he hath purchased great store of lands : but 't is conceald : yea marry , so 't may be , for i am sure 't was neuer knowne to me . what if he lyes ? why , then the question 's , whether the truth and lands bee both conceal'd together . yea , that they are : for if the truth were knowne , the lands would soone be found , but few or none . mirabilie visu . when old penochio came first to towne , and saw the coaches rūning vp & down , staring vpon them long , he hoopt alowd : the people thronging round him made a crowd , and askt him , what he meant ? quoth he i hooted because before i nere saw women booted . on the lotteries . some doe condemne our late great lotteries , and say they were but tricks and fopperies for to get money : this is all the thanke they giue the founders ; yet all were not blanke . one myracle it wrought , say what they can , it made a tayler for to be a man. currit mercator ad indos . some fondly thinke our great east-india trade hath all our other merchants beggars made ; and that they carry men , and money store , to kill our marriners , and make vs poore . these are confuted all , and held as vaine , in eighteene moneths they now returne againe : returne a gaine said i ? nay , but a losse , if they lose men and money , but for drosse . on the high spring tide at the shewes at the palsgraue's wedding . the sea fled in , willing to see this sport , that to the neighbouring lands she might report their valiant prowesse , and each glyding flood , came rowling in ; & each streame would haue stood for to particip●te these warlike shewes , so that the thames could hardly them enclose : for some , to be spectators of the sight , got vp vpon the bancks to see them fight . on iustice ballance . some doe paint iustice sitting in her state , with scales & ballance to giue each his waight : surely her scales are euen , so thinke i , and that the beame hangs not in iustice eye . old siluium . siluius by simmony a liuing got , and he liu'd well vpon it . 'pray why not ? for he the poore did pill , the rich did lurch , and so became a piller of the church . de perochia beatae mariae de arcubus . an archer , bragging , sayd , he well did know how to bring any man vnto his bow : yet , when he put his knowledge into vse , hee hardly could say bo vnto a goose. ex abundantia cordis es loquitur . the mouth speaks frō the abundance of the heart , so were we taught : but they haue found an art , lately at westminster , which is farre woorse , most mouthes speake from th' abundance of the purse . ad lectorem candidum . my booke arraign'd for causes criminall , must dye a death which is vnnaturall : a iury ignorant haue past vpon it , and found it guiltie : so there is throwne on it many contemptuous speeches , insomuch as i appeale to you , whose wisedome's such as errs not , and craue iudgement from your breath , whether it shall be burnt or prest to death . certaine characters , called par pari . or , like to like , quoth the deuill to the collier . — ego nec studium sine diuite verna , nec rude quod prosit video ingenium ; alterius sic altera poscit opem res . hor. de art. po. london , printed by bernard alsop , for richard redmer , and are to be sold at his shoppe at the west end of saint pauls church . . certaine characters , called par pari : or , like to like , quoth the diuell to the collier . a pirat is an excellent bow-man . who from his childe-hood being much bent to rouing , is in time become a cunning shooter , and thereby hath wonne many a prize . if you purpose to out-goe him , you must betake you to your flight : but if once he boord you , your game is lost . adam bell and his archers gaue him first example to bee an out-law ; and because in times past he hath beene a beneficiall souldier to the english , hee is sent vnto the marshalsey ; for whose sake , there is a stake or two set vp at wapping , for him , or any of his companions to make vse of . a drunkard is a master of defence , who dares challenge any dutchman or german . he takes no felicitie at the single , but dares any man at the double . he is but too to cruell : for oftentimes hee seekes the bloud of the grape ; ye● hath he in many a duel bin ●eft for dead , when his friends , taking of him vp , haue f●und his crowne crackt . once he had almost lost his eyes , insomuch as he was led home to his lodging . and if at any time he be not able to stand , he may be well excused , because he hath got a cut in the leg . many times haue i seene him so stonied , he had not the power 〈◊〉 speake ; yet w●ll he justle any man in the streete , and very manfully fal vpon all fewer at a time . if ●erchance he meetes with a constable , hee prepares for the encounter , and betakes him to his word . a meere gallant is one that playes at noddy . one & twentie ends his game ; for the like number ended his nonnage , and made him flush , which if perchance he be , expect him to shew it very openly : but if there come a sequ●ns , you shall haue him keepe close . for feare of a payre of knaues , you we●e best to looke to his d●aung , lest that hee shuffle with you but of all things , take neede how you fall out about scoring ; for hee is knowne to bee a g●eat cutter . if it bee you fortune 〈◊〉 get to twentie , it is impossible for you to loose the gam● , because you are sure to haue a noddi● in hand . a curtezan is a musi●ian . who from her youth being brought vp to pricksong , hath lost no time , but is become a woman of note . she learnt it of the nightingale , and in imitati●n of he● sleepes , alwaies against a prickle . she sings sometimes in paris ▪ but they are not much respected , because they are growne common ; yet neuer was she put downe by any but onely in the closing , and the reason , as some say , is because she fals oftē too flat , she steales away your cares with her voice , and in the meane time hath many crotchets in her head how to straine courtesie with your purse . a large and a long shee is well affected with ; but a briefe or a sembriefe , nothing pleaseth her . of all instruments she loues not the recorder because it makes her too melancholy . shee hath playd at many a marriage , yet neuer could affect the bride-well , although shee hath beene paid largely for her paine . imitating the ancient poets , she sings her poems in cars , and the people being much delighted therewith , for the maintainance of her voyce , haue bestowed many an egge vpon her , which oftentimes haue proued as rotten as her selfe . faine would she haue beene a quarrister at pauls , but that she loues not to stand in a surplisse : yet many times she repayres thither , especially vnto the lower end of the middle i le . she is neuer out of the moods but when she meetes with a be●dle or constable , and then shee begins to quarter , because shee feareth to sing a counter tenor . if you have a desire to heare her , eyther shee is gone to lambeth to take the ayre ; or else you shall meete her at the next tauerne with her conserts . a gull traueller is the ball at tennis , who , by reason of the later racket in france , hath left it , and now hath tooke vp his place of residence in the court of england . after his passage hither , hee held vs with a long discourse of the seuerall hazzards he had bin driuen into : how he was tost from this place to that place , hauing not a few times past vnder the line . neither forgot hee his rare exploy●s done in the field , in the late banding of faction : nor what grea● seruices hee had beene proffered so his g●od parts in court : but because he lyeth for his v●●tage , which in him in a fault , it is fit he be whipt out of the court. a swaggerer is one that playe● at ruffe , from whence hee tooke the denomination of a ruffin . take heede how you deale with him , for he is much giuen to packing ; and at play his vsuall oath is renounce me . he cares but for one good suite at a time : and the foure orders of knaues are his most familier companions . let no wenches trust him , for hee is neuer well but when he is taking vp their coates , who for his sawcinesse is oftentimes sent to the stocks , where euery one is glad to finde h●m . a broking scriuener is a barbersurgion . who in his apprenticehood being brought vp to the art of poleing , is now made free of the shauers . he hath his shop fully furnisht with most rare and cunning instruments . his chiefe customers consists of vsurers and mad-men , which mad-men he so hampers , keeping them fast bound , that in sixe moneths many of them recouer their wits againe . he begins to haue some practise in phisicke ; 〈◊〉 , ●f any young gentleman be troubled wi●h a looseness , he can giue him a bynding potion ▪ and againe , if he be bound , he can minister vnto him a purging pill , that shall fetch an extraordinarie quantitie of yellow stuffe from him . he neuer mist of his cunning but once , when looking into the market-place through a window , he lost one of his eares , and neuer since could be cured . a gamester at irish is a merchant aduenturer . the dice are his ships , the men are his goods , which lye in seuerall parts to to bee brought home in safetie . in the returne , many times , his goods are taken by pyrats , who lye in waite for them : but if in the pursuite hee can but safely bring ●hem ore the barre , he cares not a point for them . if ●he weather be so tempestious , that hee be constrained to lye at hull , ten to one but the ships are cast away . when he comes to make vp his accompts , hee beares away as much of his goods as he can possible ▪ for then is he compelled to breake , which is a great bi●● to his credite : and his aduersaries imediately enter their actions , and attache his goods : so are they carried backe againe to the bilbowes , where they lye wind-bound vntiil such time as he hath spent most part of his estate . when his aduersaries hauing got their will of him , more of constraint thē pity , release him . an amorist is a painter . who paints foorth his passions in blacke and white , and carries his mistris colours in his hat. he hath made her picture in a sonnet , & doth idolize her like pigmalion . if you make any comparisons with her , he will draw , although he be beate● blacke and blew in the quarrell hee is so obseruatiue , that he will not omit her shaddow , and accounts it the heig●t of his happinesse when hee can frame his demeanour to please her . the vtmost end of his studie . is but to attaine to the secrets of the arte of l●●ming , wherein being vnskilfull , hee sometimes layes his colours on a false ground , whereby they fading he himselfe is disgraced . lectoribus . friends these are like to like , my iudgmēt's such , the deuill to the collier sayd as much . — vitani denique culpam , non laudem merui . hor. de art. po. finis . the art how to know men originally written by the sieur de la chambre ... ; rendred into english by john davies ... art de connoistre les hommes. english la chambre, marin cureau de, - . approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : - (eebo-tcp phase ). a wing l estc r ocm this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : ) the art how to know men originally written by the sieur de la chambre ... ; rendred into english by john davies ... art de connoistre les hommes. english la chambre, marin cureau de, - . davies, john, - . [ ], , [ ] p. printed by t.r. for thomas dring ..., london : . translation of: l'art de connoistre les hommes. added engraved t.p. "licensed, march , / . roger l'estrange" some pages are stained and p. , , , and have faded print; p. - are torn in the filmed copy. pages - and - photographed from huntington library copy and inserted at the end. reproduction of original in harvard university libraries. created by converting tcp files to tei p using tcp tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between and available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the , texts created during phase of the project have been released into the public domain as of january . anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. % (or pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf- unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p , characters represented either as utf- unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng physiognomy -- early works to . characters and characteristics. - tcp assigned for keying and markup - spi global keyed and coded from proquest page images - emma (leeson) huber sampled and proofread - emma (leeson) huber text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion the art how to know men. the art how to know men. originally written , by the sieur de la chambre , counsellour to his majesty of france , and physician in ordinary . rendred into english by john davies of kidwelly . licensed , march . / . roger l'estrange . london , printed by t.r. for thomas dring at the george in fleetstreet , neer cliffords-inn . m. dc . lxv . to the right honourable charles earl of carlisle , vicount hovvard of morpeth , baron dacre of gilsland , lord lieutenant of westmerland and cumberland , and one of his majesties most honourable privy-council . my lord , if the present your lordship here receives be consider'd only according to its bulk , i must , no doubt , lie open to the reproach of offering so mean a sacrifice , at the shrine of so noble a name . but if the excellency of the subject treated of be put into the other scale , with this allowance , that whatever is offer'd derives its merit from the sincerity and devotion of the offerer , i may more rationally hope the acceptance , than fear the rejection of it . your lordship will find , in this small treatise , the frontispiece , or first draught , of the boldest design that , haply , was ●ver undertaken in the empire of learning , to wit , the art how to know men ; an art , comprehending what ever contributes to the discovery of their most secret inclinations , the motions of their souls , their vertues and their vices ; an art , which , if well studied , will bring to those who shall attain it , answerably to their several qualifications , the greatest satisfaction and advantages imaginable . for what greater can any one man frame to himself , than those , which accrue from his knowledge of another , even though they move in the meanest station of affairs ? but if those are so considerable , how much more must they be , which are made by persons entrusted with the management of embassies , and the most important transactions of crowns and scepters , and consequently , oblig'd to treat with people of different tempers and climates ? in these last it suffices not , to be guided by those common observations and characters of men , which are obvious to the populace , and commonly mask'd and disguiz'd ; but the grand secret is , to penetrate into the closets , and insinuate into the very bosoms , of princes and favourites . and this consideration it was , which the more inclin'd me , to make a particular dedication of this labour of mine to your lordships patronage . for whom could i expect more favourable to the art how to know men , than one , who had so lately satisfy'd the world , how well he had studied it before ? from whom could that art look for a kinder reception , than from one who had shewn himself so much a master of it , in carrying on a negotiation , which led him , from the most , to the least-civiliz'd extremities of christendom ? your lordship might here expect i should give some account of my author , the advancer of this so excellent and beneficial an art ; but i refer what i have to say of him to another place , concluding here , after i have begg'd your lordship's pardon for the rudeness of this address , with an assurance , that it is made with the greatest respects and submissions , and , consequently , that i am , right honourable , your lordship 's most humble , and most obedient servant , j. davies . an accompt of the author , taken out of the history of the french academy , printed at london , in the year m. dc . lvii . pag. . the author of that history , being to give an accompt of the first setling and advancement of the academy , to that time , thought fit , towards the end of his work , to set down a catalogue of the members of it , of which number our author being one , i find this said of him , being the sixth nam'd in the catalogue . marin cvreav de la chambre , counsellor to the king in his councils , and his physician in ordinary , born at mans. his works in print are , new conjectures about digestion . new conjectures concerning the causes of light ; the overflowing of the nile ; and the love of inclination . the characters of the passions , in two volumes . a treatise of the understanding of beasts . new observations and conjectures about the rainbow . if he perfect what he hath begun , we shall have a continuation of the characters of the passions ; a treatise of man's beauty ; another , of the nature and dispositions of nations , and the art how to know men. he hath translated into french , the eight books of aristotle's physicks , which are not printed ; and he gives us hopes , ere long , of a commentary on the aphorisms of hippocrates , which he calls usus aphorismorum ; his design is , after he hath set down hippocrates's meaning in each aphorism , to apply it to other subjects , and shew all the vses which may be made of it . thus farr the author of the history . it is very probable , that , not only those pieces here mention'd of his , but also divers others are since printed , in several languages . of which we shall forbear to give any further , since we cannot give an exact , accompt . to the very worthy translator of this exquisite piece , the art how to know men. there are various kinds of knowledg that belong to man , the chiefest of all is , to know his creator ; the second , to know himself ; the third , to know his fellow-creatures , especially , for man to know man. touching the first , 't is so sublime , and transcendent a speculation , that , though the greatest theorists have scru'd up their wits to the highest pin , yet , the further they soar'd , the more they were at a loss ; for there is no finite intellect can frame a quidditative apprehension of god ; there may be negative conceptions of him , as to think he is immense , infinite , immortal , &c. or there may be relative expressions of him , as when we call him creator , king , and conservator of all things , &c. or , he may be describ'd by an accumulation of epithets , as almighty , mercifull , just , and by the abstracts thereof , &c. but for a comprehensive quiddity of his essence , it cannot fal under the capacity of any created power ; in so much that the dedication inscrib'd upon the greek altar , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , to the vnknown god , may , in a sane sense , carry with it a holy kind of admiration and modesty , rather than ignorance . concerning the second , it was the motto , which the greatest philosopher fix'd upon the portal of his school , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , know thy self ; and one would think that every one is near enough to attain this knowledg , yet 't is observ'd , that not one physician among twenty , will venture to minister himself physick , when he is dangerously sick ; and touching the mind , every man commonly looks upon himself through a magnifying-glass , so that he cannot behold his true proportion . touching the last , viz. for knowing our fellow-creatures , we have been near upon six thousand years in study of it , yet , if what we know all this while were cast in to counterballance with what we know not , 't is thought the scale of ignorance would outweigh that of knowledg . but for man to know man , which is the subject of this treatise , it is an art as full of incertitude as any ; the lineaments of the face , and lines of the hands , are not streight enough to lead us unto it , though vultus be index animi , though the eyes be as the casements of the soul , yet , many times they prove false glasses ; though ( as the turk believes ) every man's fate and fancy be written in his forehead , yet the letters are so obscure , that we cannot read them ; and the poet tells us fronti nulla fid es . — indeed , the probablest way to get this art , is by conversation , and discourse , according to the italian proverb , a roma ti viddi , a venetia ti conobbi , i saw thee at rome , i knew thee at venice ; which made the philosopher say to a man who had a promising face of wisdom , i thought thee wise , till i heard thee speak . this sagacious and sharp-sighted author , hath gone very farr in this art , as appears in this discourse , and in other acute notions that i have read of his , which shew him to be full of pensees desliees : moreover , i had the good hap , and occasion to know him , and converse with him in paris ; and truly i believe , he may well be ranked among the philosophers of the vpper house which this age affords ; therefore sir , besides your great ingenuity , you discover also much judgment in the election of your authors , who are much oblig'd to you , for your exact fidelity in rendring them ; and consequently , it may well be said , that you have attain'd the art of knowing men , by penetrating the true sence , and every souls of those authors you deal withall . jam . howel . the preface . wherein is treated of the excellency of the art how to know men , and of the author's design . it was a groundless complaint of him , who wish'd nature had plac'd a window before mens hearts , that their thoughts and secret designs might be seen . there was , i say , no reason for that complaint , not only , in regard those are not things which fall under the senses , and that though the eyes saw the very bottom , and all the windings & turnings of the heart , yet could they not observe any thing therein , from whence they might derive the least knowledge of it : but also , in as much as nature hath made other provision for this discovery , and found out more certain means to make it , then would have been that strange openness , which momus imagin'd to himself . for she hath not only bestow'd on man voice and tongue , to be the interpreters of his thoughts ; but out of a certain distrust she conceiv'd , that he might abuse them , she hath contriv'd a language in his forehead and eyes , to give the others the lye , in case they should not prove faithful . in a word , she hath expos'd his soul , to be observ'd on the out-side , so that there is no necessity of any window , to see his motions , inclinations , and habits , since they are apparent in his face , and are there written in such visible and manifest characters . from these characters , it is our design to frame the greatest and most advantageous work , that haply was ever undertaken ; a work , wherein the noblest and most necessary discoveries of knowledg , which man can arrive unto , are contained ; in fine , a work , wherein may be found the secret and perfection of wisdom and humane prudence . these great promises will be thought the more attainable , when it shall be known , that what we undertake is the art how to know men , an art whereby every man is taught to know himself , wherein consists the highest point of wisdom ; and withall to know others , which is the master-piece of prudence . the secret of wisdom consists in this , that a man knows what he is himself , what he may do , and what he ought to do ; and that of prudence , in knowing also what others are , what they may do , and what they are desirous to do . can any knowledg be more delightful or more profitable then these ? and may not he , who hath acquir'd them , justly pretend to the acquisition of the greatest advantages of this life . now the art of knowing man teaches all these things : for though it seems to have no other end , then to discover the inclinations , the motions of the soul , the vertues & vices , which are observable in others ; yet does it , with the same labour , teach every one to find them out in himself , and to deduce more rational and more impartial judgments thereof , then if he first considered them in his own person . for it is most certain , that we cannot by our selves come to a perfect knowledge of our selves : and our souls may , in that respect , be compar'd to our faces , inasmuch as the former , as well as the latter , can only view themselvs in mirrours . if she attempts the beholding of herself , the trouble she is at in that self-reflection distracts and wearies her , and self-love corrupts , and poysons , all the judgments she makes of her-self . for instance , a person transported with anger cannot make any just judgment of his passion , which , how furious soever it may be , still thinks that all the reason and justice is of its side . a covetous person thinks his most sordid cares the effects of prudence and necessity . in a word , all our inclinations and habits please and humour us , all our passions seem rational to us . who therefore could be sensible of them , much less condemn them , having the recommendation of pleasure , & being maintain'd by an appearance of reason , which are the two greatest corrupters of our sentiments ? to apprehend therefore their imperfections , it is requisite we saw them in another , that being a glass which flatters not ; and though those we make use of do represent such images as are immediately blotted out of the memory , the case is not the same with this , which makes constant and permanent draughts , the remembrance whereof is not easily lost . in fine , it is a thing out of all dispute , that there is no better way for a man to come to the knowledg of himself , then by studying that knowledg in others . thus is it then , that the art , weteach , is able to bring a man to the knowledg of himself . but inasmuch as there are two kinds thereof , one physical and natural , which examines the composition of man , the nature of the soul's faculties , and the admirable oeconomy observable in their functions ; the other , moral , which relates to morality , and makes a discovery of the inclinations , passions , and vices : it must be acknowledg'd that it undertakes not to give an account of the former , to the utmost extent it is capable of , but leaves the absolute and exact disquisition thereof , to medicine and philosophy . but being oblig'd to make the strictest examination of things relating to manners , it is impossible , but that , enquiring into their causes , and the manner whereby they are framed in the soul , there falls within its design the noblest and most intricate part of physick or natural philosophy , and , treating of the conformation of parts , the temperaments spirits , humours , inclinations , passions , and habits , it should not discover what is most secret , in body and soul. nay , i have this further to affirm , that by all these discoveries of knowledg , it elevates the spirit of man , to the soveraign creator of the vniverse . for , acquainting it with the infinite miracles remarkable in man , it insensibly inclines him to glorify the author of so many wonders , and , by that means , directs him to the end , whereto he is design'd . for should he consider only the structure of man's body , how can he forbear being ravished with astonishment , to see the order and symmetry of all the springs and ressorts , from which this admirable machine derives its motion ? and the unimitable art which is concealed therein , would it not discover to him the hand that was employed about it , and the understanding and design of the great master , whose work it is ? but if he would raise his thoughts yet a little higher , and make a privy-search into the secrets of the soul , to find out , there , the manner whereby she comes to the knowledge of things , how she moves , and how many several motions she assigns her-self ; what excess of ravishment would not the knowledge of so many miraculous operations cause in him ? what sentiments would he not have of the goodness and wisdom of god , who hath lodg'd so many vertues , in so small a space , and not only epitomiz'd all the creatures in man , but would also make in him an abbreviation of himself ? for , not to enter into any discourse of our ineffable mysteries , & keep within the bounds of nature , the inclination he hath infus'd into him towards all sorts of good things , the light , wherewith he hath illuminated him , in order to the knowledge of all things , are they not the effusions of his infinite goodness and wisdom ? but what is yet more astonishing , hath he not enclos'd within the spirit of man , which hath its limits and boundaries , the whole extent and infinity of his power ? and by a miracle which is hardly conceivable , hath he not invested him with a power of creating all things as himself ? for if the understanding produces , and , in a manner , creates the images and representations of those things which it knows , it must needs follow , since it hath the power to know them all , that it also , according to its manner , creates them all , and consequently that it is the creator of a new world , or at least the copist , or after-drawer of all the works of god. it must be so , inasmuch as when it thinks on the sun , it cannot do so without making , at the same time , another sun in it self . by the same rule it makes also starrs , heaven , elements , in a word , whatsoever is in the vniverse . but if god hath wrought one miracle by bestowing an infinite power on a limited thing he hath also done another , in joyning greatness and power , with misery and weakness . for it is certain , that of all the creatures , there is not any subject to such a multitude of miseries and infirmities as man : nay , these are rais●d even out of his advantages , and if he had not that pregnancy of wit , and the delicate composure of body which he hath , he would not be so unfortunate and miserable , as he is . so that it may be said , by instancing him alone , we may decide that famous probleme , which hath been so often propos'd , to wit , what thing is that in the world , which is , at the same time , both the greatest and least ? he therefore is only to contemplate himself who would enter into the knowledg he ought to have of the divinity , and there he will find eternal subjects of the praises , and respects , and thanksgivings , which he is oblig●d to render upon all occasions , and at all times ▪ these are the high lessons which may be learn'd by the art how to know men. but when it shall be advanc'd to those , whereby it would discover the inclinations , manners and designs of others , there will be a necessity of making this general acknowledgment , that it is the surest guide can be taken for a man's conduct in civil life , and that he who shall make use of it , will avoid thousands of dangers and inconveniences , into which , from time to time , he runs the hazard of falling . there need no reasons to prove a thing so clear , since it is certain that if the art is able to perform what it promises , there are few actions wherein it is not necessary ; as for instance , the education of children , the choice of servants , friends , company , and most others , which cannot be well done without it . it shews the opportunities , and favourable conjunctures of time , wherein a man ought to act or speak a thing , and teaches him the manner , how he ought to do it . and if it be requisite to suggest an advice , to inspire a passion , or design , it knows all the passages , through which they are to be derived into the soul. in fine , if we may rely on the advice of the wise-man , who forbids our conversing with an angry or envious person , and going into the company of the wicked ; what can rescue us from those unhappy accidents , but the art we treat of ? for the account commonly given of man is deceitful , if a man go only according to the reputation they have ; and dangerous , if their acquaintance be gotten by conversation : but that , which our art promises , is only without fraud or hazard . yet is it not to be imagin'd , as some at first sight are apt to do , that this art is no other then physiognomy , and that its power reaches no further , then to make a discovery of the present inclinations , and thence draw some light conjectures , in relation to vertues and vices . for , besides that it does all this , as well as the other , but with greater exactness , as shall be seen hereafter ; it goes much further , since it promises to shew , what were , or will be , the inclinations and passions , past and to come , the strength and weakness of mens minds , the dispositions they have to certain arts and sciences , the habits they have acquir'd : and what is most important , it teaches the way , to discover secret designs , private actions , and the unknown authors of known actions . in a word , there is no dissimulation so deep , into which it does not penetrate , and which , in all likelihood , it will not deprive of the best part of those veils , under which it lurks . now , forasmuch as all these things may be reduc'd to four principal heads , to wit , the inclinations , the motions of the sovl , vertves & vices , it is oblig'd , ere we pass any further , to tell us in the first place , what inclination is , what are the causes of it , and how it is framed in the soul. . how the soul is mov'd , nay how and why it causes the heart and spirits to move in the passions : in fine , . wherein vertue and vice consist , and what is the number of the species of both , whereof it may make its judgment . besides , since it ought to denote the excesses and defects of all things , and shew those that are , and are not , consonant to the nature of man in general , but also to the different sexes , ages , nations , and kinds of life ; it is necessary , above all things , that it give us a modell , and idaea of that perfection , which is consonant to the nature of man , that it may be the rule and measure of all the good and evil , which may happen to every one in particular . for it is certain , that the excess and defect cannot be known , without a praevious knowledg of the perfection , from which both decline and recede ; and , to judge of the distance of the extremities , a man ought to know the mean to which they relate . having made an examination of all these things , we are further to be shewn , what means it uses , to perform what it promises ; what signs it ought to employ therein , and what is their nature , strength , and weakness . it is also to tell us , what vse it makes of the rules of physiognomy , and whether chiromancy and metoposcopy are serviceable to its design , whereof we ought to have a general draught or platform . these are the praeliminaries , which serve for an introduction to the whole science , and are contained in this part , which shall be divided into two books ; the former whereof shall treat of the matters , which are the object of the art how to know men , to wit , the inclinations , motions of the soul , vertues and vices : the second shall examin the means , whereby it ought to discover all these things . the art how to know men. the first book . chap. i. an idaea of the natural perfection of man. every thing is perfect to which there is nothing wanting , and which hath whatsoever is necessary for the accomplishment of its nature . it is therefore requisite , that man , who consists of body and soul , should , to be absolutely perfect , have whatever is necessary for the accomplishment and perfection of these two parts . now the natural perfection of the soul consists in its having all the faculties and powers , which are necessary , in order to the performing of those functions , whereto she is design'd . the perfection of the body consists in the dispositions , which those faculties require therein , to serve for organs to their functions . but since some of the faculties are nobler then others , and that in the order of things , unequal , the more excellent are the rule of the others ; it follows , that the understanding , which is the noblest faculty in man ; should be the rule and measure of all those that are inferiour to it , and that these last should be so dispos'd , as that , as much as possibly , they may be conformable to that superiour faculty , to the end they should not obstruct the actions it ought to do . so that the understanding , being of its own nature indifferent and indeterminate , in order to the judgment it is to make of all things , and consequently , that it is all things , in potentia , that is , potentially , as not being determined to any one in particular , it is requisite , that the faculties subordinate to it , should , as much as may be , comply with that indifference . which indifference since they cannot have in the same degree of perfection as the understanding , in regard they are material , and consequently determinate , they ought nevertheless to have it so far , as they are capable thereof . now all the indifference they are capable of is reduc'd to that which consists in a mediocrity , for the mean is less determinate then the extremities , as being indifferent , in respect to both . those faculties therefore which consist of the mean or mediocrity , are more conformable to the understanding then those , in the excess , or defect . but forasmuch as the instruments ought to be proportioned to the powers , by which they are employ'd , it follows that the conformation of the parts and the temperament , which are the instruments of the soul's faculties , should have the same mediocrity as they have . so that the parts ought to be neither too big nor too little , nor the qualities , whereof the temperament consists , be predominant one over another , but all ought to be in a just aequilibrium and mediocrity . article . that only man hath the sense of touching in perfection . and that this is according to the design of nature , may be deduc'd hence , that she hath bestow'd this perfect temperament only on man ; for there is alwaies some excess in that of other creatures , one being too hot , or too cold , another too dry , or too moist . but in man all these qualities are united in a just moderation ; and therefore the senses , which follow this temperament , as the touching , and tasting , which is a kind of touching , as aristotle affirmes , are more perfect in him , then in any other animal . for these senses , and especially the touching , require an exact temperature in their organs ; it being requisite , that what ought to judg should be in the mean , that it may judg without any pre-occupation . now as there are two sorts of means one , consisting in the absolute privation of the objects , and the other , in their equal participation , only the touch judges by this latter . for all the others are destitute or depriv'd of the qualities whereof they judg ; as the ey , which judges of colours , ought to be without any colour . but in regard the touching judges of the first qualities , whereof its organ cannot be depriv'd , it is requisite , for its more perfect knowledg thereof , that it should have them united in a just mediocrity , that it may judg of their extremities , which it hath not , and of their moderation , by not assigning any excess therein . but howere it be , nature hath no other motive in enduing man with this perfect temperature , then to make conformable to the noblest faculty of the soul , the general instrument of its functions , and to place it in the mean , that it might be less determinate , and that it , as well as the faculty , should have all the indifference , whereof it is capable , which was not necessary for other animals , all whose faculties are determinated . art. . all in man should be in a mediocrity . from this truth , thus establish'd , there may be drawn a consequence , which confirms what we have said , concerning the mediocrity , which ought to be in the powers of the soul , not only in those which are subalternate , but also in the superiour , such as are , the understanding and the will. for since the temperament moderates all the faculties , rendring them more or less strong , according to the degrees it hath , and that if it be hot , for instance , it strengthens the imagination , and weakens the judgment ; and that , on the contrary , if it be cold , it assists the judgment , and injures the imagination , and so of the rest : it follows , that , if there be an equality requir'd , to render the man perfect , it is also requisite , that all the faculties of the soul should participate of that equality , and that they should observe the same moderation , which is in the temperament . so that the natural perfection of man , requires not an excessive vivacity of imagination , nor an over-circumspect judgment , nor a too happy memory : nay , it cannot bear with these sublime spirits , which are alwaies fixt on the contemplation of things high and difficult , not only upon this account , that , having design'd man for society , it expects , he should equally apply himself to contemplation and action ; but principally , in regard that it is impossible , the body should have its natural perfection , when it hath the dispositions requisite to sublimity of spirit . for the body must needs be weak , when the spirit is too strong , as the over-great strength of body lessens and weakens the spirits , as we shall shew more at large hereafter . the case is the same with all the other faculties ; for if the appetite be too apt to move , if the senses too subtile , if the concoctive virtue , the evacuative , or retentive , be too strong , they are so many defects and irregularities : they should all be proportionate to the equality of the temperament , which does not admit of these vicious perfections . art. . that all the faculties ought to be in a mean. and that this is true , even in those faculties , which are spiritual , may be deduced hence , that the action and the power ought to be conformable one to the other , in as much as the action is only a progress , and effusion of the active power . if therefore actions cannot be perfect but so far as they are moderate , it is necessary , that the faculties should derive their perfection from their moderation . but it is a receiv'd maxim in morality , that actions , to be virtuous , ought to be in a mediocrity , and consequently , the faculties , from which they proceed , should also be in the same mediocrity . now the first spring of this mediocrity is the indifference , which is natural to the rational soul : for since the action is conformable to the power , the actions should be as indifferent as the other is , and though it be determined by the action it does , yet does it nevertheless preserve its indifference , by the mediocrity , which the action receives from it . the reason is , that what is in the mean is indifferent , in respect of the extremities , and that what is in the extremity is less indifferent , and more determinated , then what is in the mean , as we have shewn already . and thence proceeds the necessity there is , of moderating the passions . for though , in other animals , they are the more perfect , the greater and stronger they are , and that the more fearful a hare is , and the more cruel a tigre , the more perfect is each of them in its kind : yet is not so in those of man , in as much as they ought to be in a mean , between excess and defect , that they may be the more conformable to the indifference of the superiour part . art. . that all natural inclinations are defects . i conceive it will be no hard matter to apprehend , and subscribe unto all these truths , because they are maintain'd by reason and experience . but there is yet another may be deduc'd from the same principles , which i question not will be thought very strange , though it be no less certain . it is this , that , though there be some inclinations which are good in themselves , and deserve commendation , such as those men have for the virtues ; yet are they defects , and alter the natural perfection which is conformable to humane nature . and certainly , this will occur upon common observation and experience , that those who have from their birth , some excellent virtues , have had them attended by greater vices , for a man must needs fall into defects and imperfections , so far as he is at a distance from perfection . now the perfection of man is , to be indifferent , and , not determinated to any particular virtue , he should be capable of all . for the virtues that come along with the birth are not real virtues , they are only the initiatios of them , or rather , they are but inclinations which a man hath for them . in a word , they are bounds and limits , confining the capacity of the soul , which is universal , to a particular habit . the soul , of its own nature , is not determinated , and ought to be capable of all humane actions ; and , as it may know all things , so is it requisite , that the appetite , which follows her knowledg , should have also the freedom to incline it self to all things . and this universal capacity is at the same time an effect of the spirituality of her nature , and the cause of the liberty she hath : for if she were material , she would be determinated , and if she were not indifferent , she should not be free . the inclinations therefore , which man may have , though they might be for the most excellent virtues , are imperfections ; he ought not to have any for any one in particular , but for all together . and this is that , which the angel of the scholes hath so judiciously deliver'd , when he affirm'd , that there is no animal , but hath some inclination , to a passion conformable to his nature ; but that man only is the mean of all , and that it is requisite , he should be equally susceptible thereof , in as much as he is , of his own nature , indifferent and indeterminate . to conclude , since the temperament and the conformation of the parts are the two principal causes of natural inclinations , as we shall shew hereafter , and that they make the soul incline to those actions which are conformable to them , it is not to be doubted , but that the mediocrity , and the mean , which they ought to be guided by in man , does also invest the soul with an equal bent towards both the extremities . art. . that every species hath its proper temperament . but it is to be observed , that in the distribution of the temperament , made by nature to animals , she hath in the first place considered their species , and hath appointed every one , that which was most convenient for it . for example ; she hath assign'd a hot and dry temperament for the species of the lion ; a hot and moist , for that of a horse ; a cold and dry for that of an asse , and so all the rest . but , as she hath been careful of the conservation of these species , and , to that end , hath bestow'd on them the two sexes , which were to receive different qualities , she hath been oblig'd to divide this first temperament , and to give one part of it to the male , and the other to the female . for though , in the species of the lyon , the male and female are hot and dry , yet is it certain that the female is such , in a lower degree then the male , and the same thing is to be said of all the rest . it is therefore to be granted , that the just and equal temperament , we have spoken of before , is that which is most convenient to humane nature . but in as much as it was also requisite , that the man and woman should have different qualities , that just temperament was divided between them , and without straying too much from that perfect temperature , the man hath receiv'd a little more heat and drought , and the woman a little more cold and moisture . and this is the true interpretation that ●●e must give to the fable of androgyne , when plato saies , that man and woman at the beginning made up but one body , which was of a round figure ; that they were afterwards divided into two , and that the love they have one for the other , is onely the desire they have to be re-united , and a means of their perpetuation . for , this first union of man and woman , is nothing else but humane nature comprehending both sexes , and having , for its body , that just temperament , which may be compar'd to a round figure , whereof all the parts are equal and uniform . but in the distinction , which was made of this nature , into two sexes , that temperament was divided into two parts , and thence were fram'd two bodies , unlike one to the other , in respect of the different qualities , which they receiv'd in order to the conservation of the species . art. . why sexes were bestow'd on animals , and why the male is hot and dry , and the female cold and moist . the bestowing of sexes on animals , was onely in order to generation , and where there is no generation to be made , there are no sexes , as in angels . but in regard this action , as all others whatsoever , stands in need of two principal causes , to wit , the efficient & the material , there was a necessity , that every species of animals should be divided into two sexes , to execute the function of these two causes . and that is also the reason there are but two sexes , for as much as ●hese two causes are sufficient for any action whatsoever . but whereas there is not any vertue or power , which stands not in need of certain dispositions , to execute the function , whereto it is design'd , and that among the corporeal dispositions , the first qualities are most efficacious and most necessary ; it must follow , that heat and drought , as being the most active , should be bestow'd on the sex which executes the function of the efficient cause , and that cold and moisture , as being the most passive , should be most observable in that sex , which represents the material cause . and this is the original reason , why man is hot and dry , and woman cold and moist , for that man hath the vertues and qualities of the efficient cause , and the woman those of the passive cause . for , though there be some dispute among the philosophers , concerning the function of the female in the business of generation , and that it is maintain'd by some , that she is concurrent to the production of the animal , as well as the male ; yet not thinking it necessary to produce the reasons and experiences which destroy that opinion , this at least is certain , that if the said assertion should be granted , it must be acknowledg'd , that the active vertue , which the female may have , is much weaker in it , and that the passive cause is the more predominant . which is enough to prove , that the passive qualities are also the more prevalent in the same work . and certainly , to make this truth the more clear , we need onely consider the natural constitution of the woman . for her weakness , as to body ; a smaller conformation of the parts ; the fearfulness , which is natural to her ; the delicacy & softness of the skin and flesh , and the many humours wherewith she abounds , are infallible demonstrations of the cold and moist temperament she is of . art. . wherein the beauty of sexes consists . that there are two sorts of general effects 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . it being therefore granted , that the temperament of man is hot and dry , and that of the woman cold and moist , we are now to consider , what dispositions these temperaments raise in the soul , and what constitution the whole body receivs from them . for , the perfection and beauty of each sex consists on these two things , for as much as the intellectual beauty which ought to be in them , is nothing else than a combination or concurrence of all the faculties which are necessary to them , for the execution of those functions , whereto they are design'd ; and that the corporeal beauty is also nothing else , than a concourse and compliance of all the dispositions which these faculties require in the parts , to become organs subservient to their functions . for that part is beautifull , which hath the largeness , figure , and all the other dispositions , necessary for the performance of the action it ought to do : and if all these are not in it , or that it have any dispositions which are not requisite , it must needs appear ugly and deformed . howere it be , we are here to observe one thing , which is very considerable in this matter , and in all the effects of nature , which is , that there are two kinds of these effects , some wrought for a certain end , which nature proposes to her self ; others wrought out of pure necessity , so as that nature had not any design in the working of them . that a man should have hair on the chin , the eye-lids , and eye brows , is for some particular end , which nature proposes to her self , wherein she never fails of her purpose , she disposing the matter of the hair , and directing it her self into those parts . but , that he should have any on his breast , is not an effect proceeding from the design of nature , for if it were , all men would have some there , and therefore , abundance of matter is onely the cause thereof , it being the property of that , to make us way where ever it can . this is also most evidently apparent in the passions ; for that a man ▪ transported with anger , should keep a stirr ; that he should threaten ; that he should strike ; all these are actions whereby he pretends to revenge himself , which is the end of that passion . but that his countenance should be enflam'd ; that his forehead should be wrinckled ; that his words should fall from him with certain interruptions ; these are effects wrought by necessity , so as that the soul had no design in the production of them , in regard they do not contribute to the revenge , whereto she is inclin'd . art. . that there are some faculties and inclinations , which it is nature's design to bestow on the sexes , others not . upon these grounds , we may affirm , that there are some faculties and inclinations , which nature hath , out of a formal design , bestow'd on the several sexes : such as are the faculties of the soul considered in themselves , and in their origin , excluding all modification by the temperament , as the rational , the sensitive , the vegetative faculties , and consequently the inclinations , which accompany them ; for every animal power leaves in the appetite , an inclination to perform its proper actions . but as to the powers and inclinations which proceed from the temperament , as the strength or weakness of those first faculties , the inclination to confidence or fearfulness , to liberality or avarice , &c. nature hath not any design to bestow them on either sex , in as much as the natural perfection of the humane species do's not admit of any in particular , as oblig'd to be equally capable of all , by reason of its being indeterminate and indifferent , as we have shewn before . it is therefore out of pure necessity that they are raised in the soul , and by the connexion and unavoidable consequence there is between the effects and their causes . true it is indeed , that nature hath propos'd to her self to bestow on man , besides the faculties convenient for his species ▪ those also which are proper to his sex , to wit , the active vertue in order to generation , and heat and drought to serve as instruments to that vertue , as she hath bestow'd on the woman the passive power , and cold and moisture , to perform the function of the material cause . but all the inclinations consequent to those qualities , as confidence or fearfulness , liberality or avarice , &c. are onely dispositions fram'd in the soul , without her knowedge , and beside , or against her intention . it must be confess'd they are natural , because they are by accident in the order of nature , and follow the causes which depend on the matter . nay , they are allow'd to be perfections , and if they should be wanting , there would be a defect , in as much as the causes , from which they proceed , necessarily require that consequence and concatenation which is between them . for , a man who should not be couragious , or a woman who should not be timorous , would be guilty of the same imperfection , as a lion that should be fearfull , and a hare that should be couragious . art. . that there are some parts fram'd by nature out of design , others not . the same thing may be said of the conformation of the parts ; for nature hath , in her idaeas , that figure which is most convenient to every species , and which she would bestow on every individual , were she not prevented by the particular causes , such as is the temperament . and though she gives each sex a different structure of body , yet does she , as much as lies in her power , always preserve the character of the figure , which is proper to the species . for , though the conformation of the woman's parts be different from that of the man's , yet is there a greater resemblance between her and man , than any other animal whatsoever . now , it is certain , there are some parts which are proper to each sex , and such as nature hath a design to frame after such and such a fashion ; as those that serve for organs to perform the functions , whereto each of them is ordered : but for the rest , as height of stature , largeness of head , a square figure of the face , &c. which are to be observ'd in man , or lowness of stature , littleness of head , and roundness of face , &c. which are proper to the woman , all this variety , i say , proceeds not from the design of nature , but pure necessity , consequently to the temperament , which is proper to either , though it contributes to the perfection and beauty of the body , for the reasons we have given already . sect . . wherein the perfection of the male consists . art. . of the inclinations proper to man. this presuppos'd , we now come to observe the inclinations , consequent to the temperament of man. nature hath made him hot and dry , for the end we have already assign'd , but according to the proportion of his being hot , he must necessarily be strong , and consequently thereto , that he should be naturally couragious , desirous of fame , magnanimous , sincere , liberal , mercifull , just , gratefull ; and consequent to his being dry , he should be resolv'd , constant , patient , modest , faithfull , judicious . the reasons of all these effects are easily found . for , as the soul makes use of these qualities , knows what she is able to perform by their means , and is inclin'd to the actions conformable to their vertue : so upon he● being sensible of the heat , which is the principle of strength and courage , she takes a confidence in her self ; and , upon that , she would command , she courageously undertakes , and slights small dangers : and being courageous , she is forward , free , and without artifice . she is also liberal , not onely upon this account , that it is the property of heat to dilate it self , but also for this reason , that the confidence she hath of her self , takes away the apprehension of wanting those things that shall be necessary for her . she easily pardons , because she thinks she cannot be injur'd : she is just , because she desires little , as being satisfy'd with her self ; in fine , she is gratefull , because she is just and liberal . on the other side , as drought obliges things to keep within their bounds , and hinders them from spreading and dispersing themselves ; so she accommodates her self to this vertue , and is fortify'd within her self , not easily changing the resolutions she hath taken , patiently enduring the inconveniences which happen to her , constantly endeavouring to perform the promises she hath made , and not suffering her self to be carried away with the vanity of those honours , which she deserves not . in a word , drought contributes to the purity of the spirits , and checks the impetuous sallies of the imagination , allowing the time , required by the understanding , for the consideration of things , whence proceed prudence and soundness of judgment art. . that the temperament of man is hot and dry in the first degree . but it is her to be observed , that all these natural vertues are not consistent with these two qualities if they be excessive . for , if the heat be too great , instead of courage , it will raise temerity ; the desire of fame will be chang'd into pride ; magnanimity , into insolence ; liberality , into prodegality ; justice , into severity ; clemency , into induigence ; and gratitude into ostentation and vanity . in like manner , if drought be predominant , the constancy of the soul degenerates into obstinacy , harshness , insensibility , austerity . the perfection therefore of the temperament convenient to man , in respect of his sex , should come as near as may be to the exact temperature , proper to humane nature , as we have shewn ; and so it may be affirm'd , that it ought not to be hot and dry , but in the first degree , whatever goes beyond it leading to excess and imperfection . the reason this , that nature , which always endeavours to give the several sexes the temperament convenient to the species , recedes no further from that ▪ temperament , than is necessary for the disposing of them into the order of those causes , whereof they are to perform the function . whence it may be inferr'd , that the least degree of heat and drought which man may have beyond the exact temperature , is sufficient to give him the vertue and efficacy of the efficient cause . the same thing is to be advanc'd , concerning the conformation of the parts ; for there is one conformation which is convenient to the species , and is a mean between those which are proper to the several sexes . for , as all things should aim at a certain mediocrity in humane nature , for the reasons before alledged ; so ought the conformation of the body to be in the mean , between the excess and defect , which may be found therein . but , in regard the temperament qualifies the formative vertue , and forces it to give the parts that greatness and figure which are proper for them , it was requisite , that those of man should be answerable to the two qualities , which were to be predominant in him , and that they should be larger , not onely than those of the woman , but also than those which were design'd to the humane species . art. . a model of man's figure . aristotle hath design'd the figure of man according to that of the lion , as if there were no other animal , in which the form of the male sex were more perfect , and that it ought to be the model , according to which that of man should be represented . but , not to urge that man is the most perfect of all animals , and consequently , that he ought to be the measure of the rest , the lion is more proper to frame an idaea of the strength , than of the perfection of the sex , for as much as that quality requires more heat and drought than is necessary to the male sex. and accordingly the lion is one of the least fruitfull creatures of any , and consequently hath not always the vertue and efficacy , convenient for that sex : besides that his temperament recedes too much from the mediocrity most befitting humane nature , and , whoever shall compare it to that of man , which is hot and dry but in the first degree , will find that the lion's reaches to the third . add to this , that the atra bilis , or black choler is predominant in the lion , as also in a strong and robust man ; and ▪ therefore they have both large mouths , a harsh and thick hair , the forehead sull of folds and contractions , between the eye-brows , the extremities large and tough , the flesh hard and musculous , the voice bigg , and resounding , as it were , out of the throat , the gate grave , with a certain weighing from one side to the other ; all which are the significations of an excessive heat and drought , as we shall shew elsewhere . and it is probable , that aristotle did not , in that place , consider man simply , according to the vertue of his sex , but according to the quality which was most considerable in the opinions of men , to wit , heroick fortitude , which is the source of valour , which hath the prerogative of commanding , and for which men always reserv'd the greatest honours , and the noblest rewards . accordingly , when he proposes the panther for the idaea of the female sex , it is easily perceiv'd , that his consideration runs more upon the strength of the sexes , than their natural perfection , since that is a creature , which is indeed very stout and couragious , but hath not the docility , the fearfulness , and other qualities proper to the woman art. . of the figure of man's parts . but for our parts , who follow not the opinions of men , but the designs and orders of nature , we cannot represent a figure of man convenient to his sex , but according to a draught of those qualities , which are natural to him , with reference to the comparison to be made between them and those of the woman , there being not among animals , any that hath a greater resemblance to the man , than she. we are therefore to affirm , that as to his stature , it is of a greater height , and more unbounded than that of the woman . that his head is bigger . that his hair is stronger , and inclining to a certain curle towards the extremities . that his forehead is less round , less smooth , and almost of a square figure . that his eye-brows are bigger and stronger . that his eyes are more lively . that the nose , descending in a streight line from the forehead , is somewhat bigger at the extremity . that the nostrils are a little more open . that the mouth is larger . the lips thinner . the voice bigger . the chin less round . and the whole face inclining to a square figure . the neck should be thicker . the shoulders and breast larger and stronger . the buttocks and thighs less fleshy . all the junctures more free . the extremities larger and stronger . the flesh harder and more musculous . the meen more majestick . the carriage and deportment of the body more noble . the gate more sprightly and vigorous . art. . the reasons of the figure of man's parts . now , whosoever shall seriously consider the whole business of this conformation of the parts , shall find , that it proceeds from the moderation of the two aforesaid qualities , as we have shewn . for height of stature , greatness of the head and mouth , the openness of the nostrills , the thickness of the neck , the largeness and breadth of the shoulders and , b●east , the sprightliness of the eies , the bigness of the voice , the freedom and activity of the junctures , the majesty and nobleness of the meen , carriage and gate , are the effects of heat , which dilates the parts , and renders the motion of them more active and more vigorous . on the other side , the harshness of the hair , the hardness of the flesh , the solidity of the junctures , the ruggedness of the forehead , and its figure less round , the thinness of the lips , the more obtuse figure of the chin , and that of the whole face inclining to a square , are the effects of drought , which hardens the parts , and resists the motions of the humours , not permitting them to assume the round figure , which is proper and natural to them , as we shall hereafter take occasion to shew more particularly . art. . that the figure of the parts denotes the inclinations . but what calls upon our further observation in all these parts , is , that they have a certain rapport to and dependency on the faculties and inclinations , which the sex bestowes on the soul , so that they serve for markes and signs to discover them : whether it proceeds hence , that they are the instruments of those powers , and that the knowledg of the instrument discovers the cause , to which it is subservient ; or that both the inclinations and signs proceed from the temperament , as their common principle , and that the conformation of the parts bewraying the temperament , the temperament afterwards bewrayes the inclination and faculties , whereof it is the cause . accordingly the largeness of the breast and shoulders , the nimbleness and strength of the junctures , the openness of the nostrills , and the greatness , or wideness of the mouth are markes of courage . a thick neck , the flesh hard and musculous , the extremities large , are signs of strength , as well of body as soul. the square forehead , the nose somewhat big , the lips thin , the chin somewhat large , denote magnanimity , and greatness of courage . the stature high and streight , the ey-brows elevated , a majestick gate , and sprightly eies , signify glory , or a desire of fame . the forehead and face of a square figure , and the head of a convenient bigness , are marks of wisedom , constancy and justice ; and so of the rest , as we shall further shew in its proper place . whence it may be affirmed , that , of all the parts , which make up the male beauty , or which is beseeming a man , there is not any but denotes an inclination to some particular virtue . thus have we discover'd wherein consists the natural perfection of a man , as well in reference to the powers of the soul , as to the conformation of the body , which is convenient for his sex. sect . iii. shewing wherein consists the natural perfection of the woman . we come now to the examination of the woman's perfection . but what a difficult , what a dangerous enterprise do we undertake ! since it cannot be attempted without engaging against the greatest and most formidable power in the world . for , to make short work of it , we must unthrone that beauty , which commands kings and monarchs , which forces obedience from philosophers , and which hath caused the greatest alterations , that ever happen'd upon earth . from that high pitch of glory and perfection , whereto it is now advanc'd , it must be pull'd down , and degraded into the order of vicious things , and we are to shew , that all those attractions , and charming graces , wherewith she is adorned , is nothing but a deceitful mask , hiding an infinit number of defects and imperfections . 't is neither better nor worse ; for if there be any certainty in humane ratiocination ; if the principles , which nature hath scatter'd into our souls , in order to the discovery of truth , have any thing of solidity , it will necessarily follow , that there is not any one of all the parts , requisite to the framing of the woman's beauty , but is the mark of an inclination to some vice. but what ? is there any necessity we should discover things , which nature hath made it so much her business to conceal ? why should we be so forward to condemn those , who innocently force the adorations and respects of all the world ? this onely we have to allege , that our case is much like that of a judge , who , out of his obligation to justice , is fo●c'd to pass sentence against his friend . who can forbear falling in love with beauty ? but who is it also that can oppose truth ▪ which is stronger than beauty ? it is truth then that forces us to condemn that beauty , and to pass judgment against her , which , though severe , is yet just and necessary . for , if it may be deduc'd , that it is onely a fair appearance , which hides an infinite multitude of defects , and so farr from being the flower of goodness ( as it hath been sometimes flatter'd ) that we may as well affirme it to be the ba●k , which covers the vices of nature ; it is impossible , but it must abate much of the pride , whereby it is attended , and somwhat raise their spirits , who adore it with so much slavery . but all consider'd , it is possible , we may represent the mischief greater then it is , and we are ready to acknowledge as much . for we speak onely of the inclinations , that is , the first seeds of the soul's affections which may be smother'd and weeded out , before they have fully taken root . and to speak more precisely , the inclination is onely a secret weight , which gives the soul a bent to certain actions , and which is easily balanc'd by some other advantages , such as may be example , education , and contrary habits . as to which , we must make this acknowledgment , for the honour of the women , that these means have a greater influence over them , then over the men , and that commonly , we find the practice of the vertues more exemplary and exact in this sex , than in the other . with this precaution , we may presume to affirm , upon the principle we have laid down , that the woman is cold and moist , in order to the end , which nature hath proposed to her self , and that from her being cold , it follows , she should be weak , and consequently fearfull , pusillanimous , jealous , distrustfull , crafty , apt to dissemble , flatter , lie , easily offended , revengefull , cruel in her revenge , vnjust , covetous , vngratefull , superstitious . and from her being moist , it follows that she should be vnconstant , light , vnfaithfull , impatient , easily perswaded , compassionate , talkative . art. . the reasons of these incilinations . the reasons of all these inclinations are evident and necessary . for since heat is the principle of strength , courage and confidence ; cold , on the other side , must be the principle of weakness , lowness of spirit , and fearfulness . and from these three proceed all the rest , which are the attendants of a cold temperament : for distrust and jealousie are the issue of weakness and fear ; whence it is , that strong and couragious men are neither distrustfull , nor apt to suspect . artifice & craft are also the attendants of weakness , in as much as they supply the want of strength ; and we find most of those creatures which are weak , to be more cunning than the others ; on the contrary , all of great bulk are not malicious , in regard commonly strength goes along with bulk . dissimulation follows artifice and distrust , as flattery and lying follow dissimulation . besides , weakness , in as much as it is expos'd to all manner of injuries , is easily offended ; and thence it comes , that she is revengefull , for that revenge , which hath no other end than to prevent the continuance of the injury , is commonly found in those who are weak ; and therefore old people , children , and sick persons , are more testy and angry than others . but a woman's revenge is cruel ; for as much as cruelty proceeds from weakness and fear ; for a generous person is satisfy'd with the victory , whereas a coward having his enemy at mercy , revenges himself to the utmost extremity , out of a fear he may recover himself , and retort the revenge upon him . superstition follows from the same spring ; for weakness , being ever more fearfull than it should be , imagines heaven hard to be pleas'd , and that all endeavours are to be used to gain its favour . nor does avarice proceed from any other principle ; for the fear of falling nto want , raises a desire of preserving what one hath , and acquiring what one hath not ; whence it comes , that old men , and persons addicted to melancholy , are inclin'd to this vice . now , it is impossible that these desires should be without injustice , or that they sh●uld easily admit of gratitude , and acknowledgments . on the other side , the soul , complying with the nature of humidity , which is , as it were , its organ , and which is unconstant , changeable and susceptible of all the impressions may be given it , is also apt to receive an inclination to the vices which are correspondent to those qualities ; such as are lightness , inconstancy , impatience , unfaithfulness , and loquacity , which are the effects of fickleness ; as credulity and compassion are the consequences of a weak resistance , and the easie impression , which things make upon her . art. . that the inclinations of the woman are not defects . but whereas the inclinations may be either strong or weak and the vices , whereto they are inclin'd , may have several degrees , it is certain , that those which are consonant to the woman , with reference to the perfection of her sex , are the weakest that may be , in regard her temperament recedes very little from the just temperature , as we have shewn . so that the fearfulness , distrust , avarice , and the rest , are , in her , in the lowest and weakest degree they can be . nay , there are some of them , which , in that condition , may pass for so many natural vertues . for distrust and dissimulation may deserve the name of prudence ; a moderate avarice , may fall under the notion of frugality ; a light superstition may pass for piety ; moderate revenge may assume the name of justice ; and that timidity , which begets shame-fastness , is the greatest ornament and commendation of the woman , and the bridle which is most likely to give her a check , in the bent she might have to all the greatest vices . but it is also to be inferr'd , that , when the coldness and moisture exceed the degree of that moderation , all the inclinations we have mentioned , are proportionably heightned , and become as vicious as their names imply them to be . moreover , those inclinations , which go under the name of vices , are not , to speak exactly , so many defects , but rather , on the contrary , so many natural perfections , as being correspondent and conformable to the feminine sex. for , as it is no imperfection in a hare to be fearfull , nor in a tygre , to be cruel , for as much as their natures require those qualities in them ; so can it not be said , that timidity , distrust , inconstancy , &c. are defects or imperfections in a woman , in regard they are natural to her sex , which would be defective , if it were depriv'd thereof . yet is it to be granted , that , comparing them with the inclinations of man , they seem to be vicious ; but the comparison which is made between diverse things , may not be the rule and measure of their natural perfection , in as much as it transferrs to one subject what appertains to the other , and there is not any thing , wherein some excess or defect may not be found , when it is so compar'd . accordingly , the strength of a man , compared to that of a lion , is weakness ; and all the inclinations , which are insur'd into him , upon the account of his sex , though they seem vertuous , are nevertheless defects , in respect of the humane species , which ougth to be indifferent , as we have shewn elsewhere . nay , mediocrity it self , which is so perfect in reference to things humane is a defect , as admitting any comparison between them and the supernatural and divine . the inclinations then , which the woman derives from her sex , whatever they may be in themselves , are to be accounted perfections , when they are confin'd within the moderation , correspondent to the first degree of cold and moisture , of which temperament she ought to be . if they exceed it , they are defects , declining from the perfection requisite in her sex ; and the excess of that temperament causes no less deformity in the soul , than it does in all the parts of the body . art. . that the inclinations of man are defects in the woman . but what ? is it impossible that a woman should be of the same temperament as a man , and consequently that she may have the same inclinations , and be couragious , magnanimous , liberal , &c. as we experimentally find many of them , who have all those qualities ? it must be acknowledg'd ; but what is a perfection in one subject , may be a defect in another : as for instance , courage in a lion , is a vertue , in a hare , a vice ; and so what is a perfection in the man , is a default , and imperfection in the woman , because it makes her recede from the natural perfection of her sex. and if these inclinations proceed not from instruction , education , example , or some rational habit , they are indeed such qualities as seem vertuous , but have withall the attendance of farr greater vices . and those women , who are born with that confidence and audacity , which are proper onely to man , are commonly rash , impudent , unthrifty , &c. there being a necessity , that whatever recedes from perfection , should fall into defects ; and the greater the recession is , so much the more remarkable are the vices . whence it proceeds , that no body wonders so much to see a woman very fearfull , very covetous , and very light and unconstant , as to find her couragious , prodigal , obstinate ; in regard these last qualities proceed from a temperament which is absolutely opposite to that of the woman , whereas the former are consonant to that which is proper to her , though it exceeds the moderation it should have . in like manner , to be cowardly , penurious , fickle-minded , are farr greater imperfections in a man , than if he were hare-brain'd , prodigal , self-will'd , in as much as the latter are the effects of the hot and dry temperament , proper to him ; the former of the cold and moist , which is perfectly contrary to him . art. . wherein the beauty of the woman consists . we come now to examine the conformation of the parts , which is consequent to the temperament of the woman , and to consider , wherein the beauty , which is proper and natural to her , consists . in the first place , as to her stature , she is lower , and smaller than the man. the head is less and rounder , and the whole face inclining to the same figure . she hath a great quantity of hair , and that very long , small , and soft to the touch. her forehead is even , smooth , higher , and rounder towards the temples . the eye-brows are slender , soft , at a little distance one from the other , and gently twining about the eyes . the eyes are large , black , betraying a certain mildness and modesty . the nose , of a middle size , descending in a streight line upon the lips , and gently inclining to a roundness towards the extremity . the nostrils narrow , and not opening much . the cheeks round . the mouth little . the lips red , somewhat bigg , or plump , not shutting close together , nor moving , unless it be when she speaks or laughs . the teeth are small , white , and orderly dispos'd . the chin should be round , smooth , not admitting the appearance of the least hair . the ears little , soft , and of a convenient compass . the neck round , somewhat long , small , smooth , and even all about the upper part of the breast plump , and fleshy ; and the breast it self , or dugg , firm , and somewhat hard , round , and of a middle-size . the shoulders little , and close . the back streight , and weak . the thighs round , and fleshy . the knees round , and so as there be not in them the appearance of any juncture . the feet little , round , and fleshy . the arms short , and of a proportionable roundness . the hands long , little , and fleshy . the fingers long , small , and round . the skin , in all parts , soft delicate , and of an exquisite whiteness , save onely in those places , which admit a mixture of carnation , as in the cheeks , the chin , and the ears . lastly , weakness ought to appear in her voice , and all her motions ; bashfulness and a reserv'd modesty in her countenance , her gestures , carriage , and behaviour . art. . the causes assign'd of this figuration of parts in the woman . of all these parts , the little , short , and slender , are the effects of the cold temperament , which confines the matter , and hinders it from spreading and dilating it self . the fleshy and soft parts are the productions of the moisture , for they denote abundance of flegmatick bloud . but of the round , some have their dependance on the cold , others on the moisture : for they either proceed from the fat , which fills the vacant places of the muscles , as in the arms , cheeks , thighs ; or from the cold , which contracts the figure of the parts , and presses them of all sides ; whereas the heat , always spreading it self forward , causes unevenness & angles , which prevent the roundness of them . hence it comes that the forehead and face of the man are of a square figure , and those who are inclin'd to melancholy , have corners of the forehead ending in a sharp point , and long faces , contrary to the ●legmatick , who have them almost of a round figure . the mildness , modesty , and the bashfulness which appear in the countenance and actions of the woman , are also effects of the cold , which abates the courage , and checks , or remits the motion of the parts . to the same principle is also to be attributed the smalness and weakness of the voice , by contracting the throat , in which it is framed , and weakning the vital faculty . but all these things fall more particularly under consideration ▪ in the treatise of beauty ; it shall suffice here to observe in the main ▪ that the natural conformation of the woman follows the temperament of cold and moist , in that degree , which nature hath prescrib'd for the perfection of her sex. art. . that all these parts denote the inclinations which are proper to the woman . our next work must be , to shew , that all these parts have a dertain ce●ation to the qualities of the mind , whereof we have given an account ; that they are the signs which discover them , how secret soever they may be ; and lastly , that , of all the figures and lineaments which contribute to the beauty of the woman , there is not any one but denotes a vicious inclination . we need produce no other proof of this truth than the natural weakness , which is remarkable in the ●ody of the woman , and the conformation of all her parts , whereof there is not any one , but is the effect , either of the coldness of her temperament , or the moisture predominant in her , as we have shewn already . for , since the weakness of the body , and of natural heat , is ever attended by an inclination to fearfulness , distrust , avarice , &c. and that the superabundance of moisture accompanying it , causes softness of nature , effeminacy , inconstancy , and fickleness , &c. it follows , that she hath not any part , which does not discover some one of the inclinations before-mentioned . but , for the further clearing up of a proposition that seems so strange , we must fall into a more particular consideration of things , and make it appear , by those rules of physiognomy , which aristotle , and other great persons among the antients , have left us , that there is no truth so well establish'd as this . aristotle hath given us this observation , that a little face is a sign of pusillanimity , and lowness of spirit . by that character , he designs those who are not abe to bear good or bad fortune , who , upon the least smile of prosperity , become insolent ; upon the least frown of adversity , are utterly cast down and discourag'd ; who entertain the least delay or denial , as a great misfortune ; a small negligence for a great injury ; continually complaining , distrustfull of all they have to do with , full of suspence in the taking of any resolution , &c. as we shall shew more at large , when we come to the particular characters of this vice . the round face denotes maliciousness , and an easie inclination to anger . the narrow forehead is an argument of a fickle and incorrigible disposition . the round forehead is a sign of testiness , and weakness of mind . the high forehead , and very smooth , signifies flattery and dis●imulation . black eyes denote fearfulness ; the large eye argues inconstancy . thick and soft lips are marks of loquacity , an over-busie enquiry into the affairs of other people , and a negligence of their own . some affirm , that they are the significators of avarice and lying ; which two vices are commonly observable in the moors , whose lips are of that making . the little mouth is a sign of weakness and lying . the round chin denotes envie . the long and small neck denotes a timorous disposition , and a person inclin'd to loquacity . when the upper part of the breast is smooth and fleshy , it is an argument of credulity , and weakness of judgment . the shoulders little and close together , are signs of avarice . when the thighs , feet and hands are fleshy , the back streight and weak , the hands little , all these are signs of a soft and effeminate constitution , that is , they denote a delicate and voluptuous person , one who is not able to endure any hardship , or pains-taking , to whom the slightest inconveniences are insupportable , and one that impatiently bears the want of the least pleasures and enjoyments of life . art. . wherein perfect beauty consists . this is all the account we have to give of the beauty as well of the man as the woman . there remains yet onely one difficulty , which , no doubt , will occurr to all those who shall read this discourse , and may , if not resolv'd , bring the truth we have established , into some dispute : it is this , that the beauty , whereof we have given a description , is proper and correspondent onely to our climats , and not to be accommodated to others : for there is no countrey but admits a diversity of judgments and opinions , concerning this point ; nay , there are some nations that are so much at a distance from the sentiments we have of beauty , that they account beautifull , such persons , as in our apprehensions , are little remov'd from deformity it self . if the case stand thus , how can any one frame to himself a certain and determinate idaea of beauty , which is so indeterminate , and full of diversity , and restrain , to the designs of nature , a thing which seems wholly to depend on the opinions of men ? nay , it being suppos'd , that it is a natural perfection , what judge shall be able to decide , which is the most perfect and accomplish'd , since every people and nation , will imagine , it hath good grounds to bestow the prize on that which is proper to it self ? we answer then , that reason onely is that soveraign judg of all nations , who is able to pronounce a final sentence , in a business so nice , and prosecuted with so much partiality . yet is it not paricular reason that shall have this prerogative , but the general reason , which is grounded on common notions , and principles not admitting of any dispute . this reason it is which teaches us , that the body is the instrument of the soul , and the greater number of faculties and different powers this latter hath , so much the greater diversity of parts must the former have , to be employ'd as the organs thereof : for the instrument ought to be proportionate , both to the cause by which it is used , and to the action which it is , by its means , to perform . and whereas every power hath some , action proper thereto , it is accordingly requisite , that it should have an instrument , particular to it self , that is , such as may have the consistence and figure proper to that very action . for , if the saw had not the hardness and figure which are convenient for it , 't would not be of any use to the workman , who hath any thing to do with it . now , when an instrument hath the qualities and dispositions requisite in order to the performance of its action , we may affirm it hath its perfection , in regard there is nothing wanting to it . moreover , it is certain , that in every order of things , there is but one onely perfection , in as much as there is but one principal end , whereto every one is design'd , and perfection consists in the end . whence it may be inferr'd , that every power of the soul hath but one perfection , and that the instrument , whereof it makes use , can also have but one . so that beauty , which is the perfection of the parts , and consists in the just conformation they ought to have , can be but onely one , and that all those , which have not that conformation , have not the exact and perfect beauty , which is consonant to the nature of man. now , the question is , to know , wherein this perfect and compleat beauty is to be found . to do that , let us proceed according to the principles which we have laid down before , and affirm , that the natural perfection of man's body consists in the mediocrity , or aequilibrium of the temperament , and the conformation of the parts , for the reasons we have already alledged ; and that the sexes , which could not retain it , by reason of the different qualities it was requisite they should have , recede but very little from it . for it follows thence , that the climate wherein perfect beauty is to be found , is that which is least opposite to that mediocrity , and which , by its exact temperature , preserves it , and alters it not . now , it is out of all dispute , that those countries , where the elevation is about fourty five degrees , are the most temperate , as being in the midst of all the extremities , and consequently , if we are to search after perfect beauty , in one place rather than another , 't is in those countries , and the parts adjacent , that it may be found . i know there are some countries so scituated , where it is not to be met with , as in those parts of china and america , which are under the same degree . but we are not here to consider onely the position of the heavens ; we must also examine the nature of the soil , the origine , policy and government of the inhabitants . for that of china is too moist , by reason of the many lakes and rivers that are thereabouts : and that which is in america is too cold , by reason of the woods and mountains , as new-france is . add to this , that there are some nations , which are seated in very temperate places , but are not the original inhabitants of them , and yet have preserved the conformation which they receiv'd from their first habitations . in fine , these nations are barbarous , and destitute of policy , and it is not to be doubted , but that the disorders and imperfections of the soul are communicated to the body , and , in time , alter its temperament , and many times distort its figure . so that we are not to look after true beauty out of europe , and that , of the countries , comprehended within this part of the world , france is the likeliest seat of it , as being scituated just in the midst of the extremities of hot and cold , dry and moist ; in a word , of south and north. thence it is , that we have taken our model of the beauty which is convenient for man and woman . 't is true , we have made but a rude draught ▪ or rather but drawn the first lines of it ; but we shall fully finish , and give it its absolute perfection , in the treatise we have puposely design'd for so noble a subject . chap. ii. of the inclinations . sect . . of the nature of inclination . to understand what is meant by inclination , methinks there needs no more than to consider the very word it self , for it sufficiently discovers , either that it is a motion causing the soul to incline or berd her self towards some object , or that it is a disposition to move towards it , since it cannot be imagin'd , that a thing may have a bent , or to bow it self , towards some place or part , without suffering any motion . now , whereas it may be said that a man is inclined to choler , without being stirr'd or mov'd thereby , and without feeling the effects of it , the consequence is , that inclination is not a motion , and that it is onely a disposition to move . but , in regard there are some dispositions transient , and others that are constant and permanent , and that it is commonly said , a man is inclin'd to a passion , when he is only dispos'd thereto , by some extraordinary accident ; it is expected , that the inclination should be a constant disposition , by process of time deeply rooted in the soul. moreover , since it makes the soul bend towards certain objects , it is requisite , they should have the appearance of good , for she is never bent towards that which is evil ; on the contrary , she eschews it . and though those objects may , in effect , be evil , yet is it necessary , that , to her , they should seem to be good , to raise in her the bent and inclination she hath towards them . so , a person inclin'd to choler , finds a pleasure in revenging himself ; and accordingly , all the passions , how troublesome soever they may be , give a certain satisfaction to nature , who , by them , provides for her own preservation . for , though it be the judgment of reason , that the passion is evil , yet the sensitive part of the soul finds in it a certain content , as in an action advantageous to it , in order to the end she proposes to her self . art. . the object of the inclination . the objects of the inclination are of two kinds , things and actions , for a man hath an inclination for persons , books , pictures , &c. there may also be an inclination to passions , vertues and vices . but there is this difference , that it may be said people are inclin'd to actions , but it is not in like manner said of things ; for though it may be said of one , that he hath an inclination for a certain person , yet it is not said that he is inclin'd to that person . whence it may be easily apprehended , that there are two kinds of inclination in general , one justly and properly so called , the other improperly and figuratively . that kind which communicates its form and name to the subject wherein it is , ought to pass for the proper and true inclination , whereas the other is rather the effect of the inclination , then the inclination it self ; since it is the very motion , which the appetite suffers , in loving and desiring something , and the other kind of inclination is not the motion , but the disposition to move . so that , when it is said of some body , that he hath an inclination for such a person , it is meant of the friendship he hath towards him , or the disposition he hath to love him . this is the true inclination , the other onely the effect of this . art. . the distinction of inclinations . having nothing to say here of that kind of inclination which is improperly so called , we shall speak onely of that which truly deserves that name . of this also there are two kinds ; one natural , and proceeding from nature ; the osher acquir'd , and proceeding from habit and custom . there are some men naturally inclin'd to love , anger , justice , &c. others acquire an inclination to vertues , vices , and passions , whereto they were not naturally inclin'd . art. . the seat of the inclinations . but the kinds before mentioned reside in the soul as their true and proper seat . for besides that , of the inclinations , some are wholly spiritual , as those which arts and sciences leave in the mind , others are corporeal ; as for example , the ease and facility , wherewith a trades-man works , when he hath good tools ; for this facility is not in the tools , though it proceeds from them . in like manner , the inclination which a man hath to be angry , is not in the organs , though it proceeds from the constitution of the organs ; in as much as the disposition , which a thing hath to move , as well as the motion , whereby it is afterwards agitated , ought to be in the thing it self , and not in the causes , from which it receives that disposition and motion . it follows therefore , since it is the soul which ought to move , that the disposition to move should be in the soul. from hence it may be easily inferr'd , that the appetite is the seat of the inclinations , in regard that is the onely part of the soul , which may be moved . and whereas there are three sorts of appetite , the will , the sensitive appetite , and the natural appetite , each of them hath such inclinations as are suitable and conformable thereto : that is to say , the spiritual are in the will , as those which arts and sciences leave in the mind ; the sensible are in the sensitive appetite , as those which a man hath to the passions of the sensitive soul ; and those which are purely corporeal make their aboad in the natural appetite , such as are those which nature hath for certain motions of the humours in diseases , and for all the actions , for which the organs are design'd . for , even before the parts are in a capacity and condition to act , the soul hath an inclination to the functions , which they ought to perform . whence it comes , that a young ramm runs his head against things before his horns are in sight ; a young wild boar will offer to bite , before his tusks are grown out ; and birds endeavour to flie , though though they are not fully fledg'd . yet are we to make this observation by the way , that the inclinations of one appetite are many times communicated to another : for the inclination a man hath to passions is at last entertain'd into the will , and those of the natural appetite commonly spread themselves into the sensitive , as the examples we have alledged sufficiently evince . art. . how inclination is to be defin'd . from all these considerations , me thinks it were no hard matter to frame an exact definition of inclination , which may be this . inclination is a certain disposition deeply rooted in the appetite , which receives from it a bent towards certain objects acceptable thereto . but to speak more significantly , we are to acknowledge that these metaphorical kinds of expression are not proper to define things , and the words of bending , or bowing , or weighing , whereby inclination is commonly defin'd , cannot be properly said of any thing , but bodies , and are not to be attributed to the soul. let us endeavour then to find out some other expedient , to clear up this matter , and to look after some other notions and terms , which may be more proper to the thing , now under our examination . art. . whence proceeds the disposition , wherein the inclination consists . out of all controversie then it is , that the appetite hath certain motions , whereto it is commonly more inclin'd then to others , and it may be said , that it hath a disposition to perform them , and that the said disposition consists in the facility , which it meets with , in the performance of them . the question then is , to know , whence it receives this disposition and facility : for it cannot proceed from the weight , scituation , figure , or any other circumstances of that kind , which cause , in bodies , a disposition and facility to move themselves . to discover this secret , it is to be laid down as granted , that the inclination is a disposition , and a fixt and permanent facility , that happens to the appetite ; and consequently it is necessary , that the cause which produces it , should also be durable and permanent . now all the causes of that order which may be imagin'd , as to the present enquiry , are reducible either to the disposition of the organ of the appetite , or to the habit , which it may have acquired , or to the images which are preserv'd in the memory , and frame the knowledge precedent to its motion : for these things onely are permanent , and may cause that disposition and constant facility , wherein the inclination consists . it might then be affirmed , that , if the spirits are the organs , and immediate seat of the appetite , as we shall have occasion to shew hereafter , it must follow , that according as they are more subtile or more gross , they are the more or the less ●asily mov'd , and that the appetite , which moves along with them , receives its motion with greater slowness or activity . and that hence it proceeds , there are some constitutions which are so changeable , love with so much facility , and desire things with so much earnestness ; and on the contrary , there are others , whose souls are so heavie , that it is almost impossible to stirr them , and prosecute the attainment of their desires with a lethargick supinity and negligence . but this reason is not general for all the inclinations ; for , besides that there are some which proceed from the instinct , and have no dependance on the qualities of the spirits , there are some also in the will , which is not engag'd to any organ ; nay , we acknowledge , that there are such even in angels , in whom it is out of all dispute , that neither that cause , nor any other corporeal disposition , can have any place . the same thing is to be said concerning the habit , which the appetite may have contracted , since the habit is a quality acquired by many act●ons , and that there are some natural inclinations , which are derived from the very birth . if these things be as they are laid down , there remain only the images , preserv'd in the memory , which may be the general and immediate cause of this disposition and facility , wherein the inclination consists . art. . how the motions of the appetite are wrought . to understand how this is done , we are to observe , that the appetite , what order soever it be of , is a blind power , which , of it self , hath not any knowledge , but suffers it self to be guided by another faculty , that hath the priviledge of discerning , whether the things are good or evil , and afterwards to command the appetite , to move conformably to the judgment it hath pass'd of them . this faculty is called the practick vnderstanding , in the superiour part ; and in the sensitive , it hath the name of the estimative faculty . and there is not any motion wrought in these two parts of the soul , which is not preceded by the judgment of one of these two faculties . the said faculties have also this further property , that they do not pass their judgment according to the nature of the things , but according to the sentiment they have of them . for it somtimes happens , that those things may be profitable , which they judge evil , and , on the contrary , those may be evil , which , according to their judgment , seem good . nor is this to be wondred at at all , in as much as good and evil are of things relative , which yet are not known to be such , but according to the comparison made by the soul between them ; things which have no particular species to smite the senses , as all sensible qualities have ; and which are not known , but onely by the images which these faculties frame of themselves , without borrowing of them elsewhere . whence it comes , that it is said in the scholes , the knowledge of them is attain'd , per species non sensatas . in a word , what is good to one , is not such to another , nay , one and the same person thinks that delightfull to him now , which , a little before , he had thought troublesome ; whence it may be easily seen , that good and evil depend on the opinion conceiv'd thereof . to find out now whence the opinion may derive this knowledge , and what obliges it to judg that things are good or evil , is a busines that requires a more particular consideration , than to be fully determin'd here . let it then suffice , that we give this satisfaction at present , that it is the instinct , experience , & the true or false ratiocination which it makes of things . for , upon the knowledge it hath of the temperament , and the parts organically subservient thereto ; upon that which it receives from the conceit of its own strength or weakness ; and lastly , upon that , which proceeds from the defect or abundance wherein it is it judges , that the things are conformable , or contrary to it , advantageous or hurtfull , in a word , good , or bad . art. . of the judgments of the said faculties . as soon then as either of these two faculties hath thus fram'd to it self an idaea of good and evil , it ordinarily makes two judgments ; according to the former whereof , it is convinc'd , that the good ought to be persu'd , and the evil avoided , and this is that which is simply called practick . by the second , it effectually commands the appetite to persue , or to avoid ▪ and accordingly it is called in the schools actually pratick , practice practicum . thereupon the appetite moves , commanding the motive vertue , which is in the members to perform the motions necessary , either to attain the good , or avoid the evil. all these actions are performed consequently , and commonly wrought in a moment ; but sometimes they are also distinct and separate , and that especially in man. for the understanding may know a thing to be good , yet without judging that it ought to be persu'd ; and many times it judges that a thing is to be persu'd , and yet does not order the will to do it . nay , it often happens , that , after all these judgments , the will , which is at liberty , follows not those orders , and may remain immovable , or make a contrary motion . but in other animals , the practick judgment , and the motion of the appetite , cannot be separated , and as soon as the estimative faculty hath known a thing to be good , there is a necessity , that , in the same moment , it should judge , and command the appetite to persue it ; and this latter punctually obeys , and never fails moving , conformably to those judgments . there remains then onely the command , which the appetite lays on the motive vertue of the members , that may be suspended . for we commonly find , that a beast desires some thing , which it dares not take , by reason of the awe it is in . in which case , the appetite moves and frames the desire , but it proceeds no further , suspending the concurrent action of the members . however it be then , it may be easily inferr'd , from all we have already delivered , not onely , that the appetite moves conformably to the practick judgment , that is to say , that its motions are strong or weak , according as the estimative faculty does strongly or weakly command it to perform them ; but also , that the practick judgment answers the notion which the estimavite faculty hath fram'd to it self of the good or evil , and that the command is more or less pressing , according to the imagination it frames to it self of higher or lower degrees of goodness or evil in the things . for a greater good requires a more imperious command then a lesser , and such a command raises a passion so much the more violent . art. . that the images which are in the memory , are the causes of inclination . now , if the motions of the appetite have this dependance on the judgments of the estimative faculty , it must follow , that the dispositions , which make it inclinable to those motions , should also have some relation to the said judgments . yet shall not this relation be to those , which the estimative faculty frames to it self when it knows ; for they are transient , and the inclination is a permanent disposition ; but it shall be to those , which are preserv'd in the memory , as we said before . of these , there are two kinds ; for they are either natural , or accidental . the natural consist in the images which nature imprints in the souls of animals at their coming into the world , and this is that which is called instinct , as we have shewn in our treatise , concerning the knowledge of animals . the acquired or accidental consist also in the images , which remain in the memory , after the action of the estimative faculty . under this name i comprehend also the practick understanding . now , as these two sorts of images serve for models to the estimative faculty , in order to the framing of its judgments , according as they shall be more expressive , and have a greater representation of the goodness or evil of the objects ; so will they be more proper to raise , in the estimative faculty , such commands as shall be more pressing , and in the appetite , greater motions . in the mean time , it is certain , that the natural are perfectly representative , in as much as they are of nature's own framing , in order to the conservation of the animal , and that they are the more deeply graven in the soul , to the end they might not be blotted out . but the acquired are but superficial , and if they be not often renewed , they are so lost or weakned , that they cannot make a perfect representation of things . 't is true , there are certain objects , which upon the first sight make so strong an impression in the soul , that the species thereof are preserv'd a long time in the memory , and that the first apprehension , which is had of them , hath as great an influence upon him , as many several apprehensions often reiterated would have , upon some other occasion . hence it comes , that the first sight of a very beautifull person , many times , raises a love which continues many years . upon this account , it is said commonly in the schools , that there are certain acts , which , alone , and upon the first performance of them , may produce habits . but otherwise , that is , those onely excepted , there is a necessity , that the images , which the soul frames , and continues in the memory , should be often renew'd , and , as it were , receive a second touch , by several subsequent reflections , that they may be perfectly expressive and representative . for as often as ever the soul makes an apprehension , or a commemoration of some object , so often does she frame an image thereof to her self ; in regard that , by apprehending or remembring , she acts , and that she can have no other action , then the production of images ; which images , joyn'd with those that are in the memory , render them stronger , and more lively , much after the same manner , as the colours , which are often touched over ; as we have shewn in the place before alledged . art. . that the disposition and facility of the appetite 's motion proceeds from the same images . these images therefore which are in the memory , and are accordingly perfectly expressive , are those , from which , the disposition and facility , which the appetite hath to motion toward certain objects , does proceed . and certainly , it may be affirm'd , that the soul , which finds her self stored with these images , and sees her self in a condition to produce the apprehensions necessary to her , is raised up to a certain confidence in her self ; and , without any reflection of hers thereupon , she is sensible of her own strength and courage . and as a man who hath a vigorons body , much wealth , or is of noble extraction , assumes a confidence in himself , and is at all times in a condition to undertake things conformably to his power , though he thinks not of it : in like manner , the soul does the same , when she hath the images in a readiness , in order to the making of her judgments ; she hath all her faculties in a disposition fit to act ; and , when she is in action , it may be easily perceiv'd she was prepar'd thereto . and thence it will not be hard to judge , that the instinct , the temperament , the habits , &c. cause the inclinations , because all these things presuppose images perfectly expressive . for those of the instinct are strong and deep , as we have already shewn ; those of the habits ought to be often reiterated : and the temperament , the conformation of the parts , kind of life , &c. which the soul knows , and is sensible of , have the same effect on the images , as the habit. whence it may be inferr'd , that , in all these the images are perfectly representative , the appetite is in a condition to move , as soon as the practick understanding , or the estimative faculty , shall present them to it . and here does consist the facility which it hath to be inclin'd thereto , as the inclination consists in that facility , as we have already affirmed . these things thus laid down , we may define the inclination , by proper notions and terms , thus : the inclination is a permanent disposition , and a facility , attain'd by a long progress of time , which the appetite hath to move towards certain objects , which are acceptable and delightfull thereto . sect . . what are the causes of the inclinations . art. . the several distinctions of the said causes . thus farr have we discoursed concerning the nature , object , and seat of the inclinations ; we now come to an examination of the causes thereof . for , though we have already spoken of the principal cause , and that which is the immediate source of them , to wit , the images , which are preserv'd in the memory , yet are there yet remaining some others , which , albeit not so nearly adjacent to the inclination , are nevertheless , in a certain degree , necessary thereto ; nay , they are such , as , being better known , and more manifest , will accordingly give a greater light to a thing so obscure as this is . besides therefore that secret and immediate cause we have treated of before , there are two other kinds , to wit , next causes and remote , and both of them are either natural , or moral . of the natural , the next are , the instinct , the temperament , and the conformation of the parts . the remote are , the starrs , the climate , difference of age , of sustenance , and indispositions of the body . the moral are , nobleness , or meanness , of extraction , riches and poverty , power and subjection , good and bad fortune , and kind of life , which comprehends arts , sciences , habits , and counsels , examples , punishments , and rewards . for all these things raise particular inclinations , by disposing the soul , to judge , whether the things are good , and givng her a bent towards them . we are now to consider how this is done . art. . that the instinct is one of the causes of the inclinations . as to the instinct , there is no doubt , but that it must be numbred among the said causes , when it shall be found , that it consists in the images , which have their birth with the animal , in order to its apprehension of those things , which are necessary for its conservation , and whereof he cannot come to the knowledg by the senses . for as these images are perfectly expressive , as being perfectly present to the soul ; so , upon all occasions , they are the sollicitours and remembrancers of the estimative faculty , that it would propose them to the appetite , and raise , in that , as we said before , the inclination it hath to the action , which they command should be done . thus is it , that the soul apprehends , and is inclin'd to the functions , whereto she is design'd , and to a search after most of those things , which are necessary for her . for thence proceeds the inclination which birds have to flie , fish to swim , men to discourse ; and which all living creatures have , to seek out the sustenance and remedies , which they know are naturally fit and profitable for them . art. . that the temperament is one of the causes of the inclinations . as concerning the temperament , it is unanimously acknowledged by all , to be the most general , and most eminent cause of the inclinations ; that , according to that quality of the humours which is predominant in the body , men are inclin'd to such and such passions , that such as are subject to melancholy are naturally sad , and ingenious ; the cholerick , active and angry ; the sanguine , jovial and affable ; the flegmatick , stupid and slothful . as to climates , there are some , in which men are more ingenious , and more civiliz'd ; in others , more dull and savage , according to the quality of the air they breath , and which produces that effect , by the impression it makes upon the temperament . lastly , that the very animals themselves are fearful , or venturous , docile or untractable , proportionably to the coldness or heat , the thickness or subtility of their blood . the reason , for which the temperament is the cause of all these effects , is deduced from the secret knowledge which the soul hath of the instruments whereof she makes use in her actions ; for being so neerly united or joyned to them , she knows the weakness or strength thereof , and consequently is soon satisfi'd what she may , and what she may not do by their means . now though this knowledge be secret , yet does it not proceed from the instinct , for the instinct is a clear and distinct knowledge , which is bestow'd only on the species , and consequently ought to be common to all the individuals that are under it , whereas this knowledge is different in every one of them , and is withall obscure and confused . for the soul hath but a confused knowledge of choler : and thence it comes , that she represents it to her self in dreams , by certain images , which do not absolutely resemble it , but have only a certain conformity to it , such as are those of fire , fighting , bright colours , &c. she does the same thing in melancholy , which she figures to her self by spectres , obscurity , and inextricable disturbances ; and so proportionably of the others , as we shall press more particularly in the treatise of the temperaments . now this knowledge , how confus'd soever it may be , is sufficient to instruct the soul , how far she may be able to act , or not to act , by the assistance of these humours . for it teaches her , by the experience she makes of it ever and anon , that choler is an active and unconstant humour , and that it may be serviceable to her , in assaulting , fighting with , and destroying whatever injures her : that , on the contrary , melancholy is not easily stirr'd , troublesome , and opposite to the principles of life ; and so of the rest . and upon this knowledge , the estimative faculty frames its judgment , conformably to the effects produced by these humours , which it keeps in the memory , and every foot , refreshes by new apprehensions , by that means rendring them perfectly representative , and capable of producing the inclinati●ns , which we commonly observe therein . art. . that the conformation of the parts is a cause of the inclination . as to the conformation of the parts , i do not think any body doubts , but that it is a certain sign of many inclinations , in as much as it is observable , that , without any art , but only , by the bare inspection of the lineaments of the face , the humour and thoughts of some persons may be , in some measure , discovered ; that those men , in whom there is a certain resemblance to certain other animals , are inclinable to the same passions as they are ; that such as deal in horses , and huntsmen , consult it very exactly , that they may thereby judge of the docility and tractability of horses and dogs ; and lastly , that it is come into a proverb , affirming , that those are not to be trusted , who are guilty of any strange default or miscarriage of nature . but i am further to add , that this conformation of the parts is not only the sign , but is also the cause of those inclinations , for it gives the soul a bent to certain actions , as the temperament doth . yet is it not to be said , that the conformation is the effect of the temperament , and consequently , that it does not denote the inclinations upon any other ground , then that it denotes the temperament , which is the true cause thereof , and not it . for though this may be true , in many occasions , and that it is certain also , that ordinarily the parts are lengthned , contracted , and assume several figures , according to the quality of the predominant humour ; yet does it very often happen , that the conformation agrees not with the temperament , and that , for instance , a cold complexion may be consistent with a conformation , which seems to denote heat . accordingly the heart and brain are sometimes too great or too little in the same temperament ; which must needs cause a notable difference in the passions , over which those two parts have any power . add to this , how many cholerick persons are there who have thick and short noses ; and how many subject to melancholy have them long and sharp , contrary to the nature of those humours ? who would affirm , that all the tartars and all the chineses are of the same temperament , because all the former have large faces , and that the latter are all flat-nos'd ? are there not some creatures of different species , that have the same temperament , and yet the figure of their parts is wholy different ? to be short , it is not the temperament which penetrates the veines and arteries which makes the articulation of the bones , divides the fingers ; and builds up that admirable structure of the parts of every animal . but it is the formative vertue is the architect , which the soul imployes to build up a body , such as may be fit to perform the actions , whereto it is designed ; and whereas this vertue alwaies endeavours to make the animal it frames , like unto that which produces it , if this latter have parts of such a largness and figure the aforesaid vertue , which bears the character of it , alwaies frames the like , if it be not obstructed . it is true , that many times the temperament opposes its design , and hinders the parts from receiving that figure , which the formative vertue had design'd to give them : but many times also , it does not oppose , but leaves it to act , according to the measures it hath taken . hence it comes , that the imagination of women with child causes it to change the figure of the embryo's parts , so as that the temperament makes no opposition : thus the stars imprint on the body such marks as are not correspondent to the natural complexion thereof , &c. art. . how figure acts . all this presuppos'd , the next question is , to know , how figure , which is a barren quality , and does not act at all , may cause inclinations . nor is it to be imagin'd ▪ that it produces them by an active vertue : for the temperament it self , though it have that vertue , yet does not employ it upon the soul , which is not susceptible of material qualities : there being not any thing , that can really either warm or cool the soul . so that both the temperament and conformation of the parts , are only occasional causes and motives , which excite her to the performance of her actions . when she hath taken cognizance of the heat which is predominant in the body ; she frames her judgements conformably to the effects , which she is able to produce , and afterwards disposes her self to set the organs on work , according to the design she hath taken . the same thing is to be said of figure , she knows which is , which is not proper for certain functions , she afterwards makes her judgment of them , and lastly sollicits the appetite to move conformably to the resolution she hath taken . now as there are some figures , which are fit for the motion of natural bodies ; others , opposite thereto ; so is it certain , that every organicall function hath a certain figure , that is suitable to it , and without which it cannot be otherwise then imperfectly performed . thence it comes , that every part , nay every species of living creature , hath a different figure , because the functions of it are different . and as the body , which should have been square , and was consequently design'd for rest , receives a property and aptitude to motion , when it is reduc'd to a round figure ; in like manner , when any one of the organical parts , which should have been of such a figure , receives some other , it is deprived of the disposition it had for the function , for which it was design'd , and acquires that which hath some correspondence with the extraordinary figure it hath receiv'd . the case is the same , as when an artisan makes use of an instrument , which is not convenient and fit for the design he had propos'd to himself ; for instead of doing what he intended , he does the quite contrary ; he cuts off that which he should have bored , he makes uneven , what he should have smooth'd , and whereas his design was to cast the statue of a man , he does that of a lyon , if the mold he makes use of be such as may represent that creature . such is the procedure of the soul , when she hath such organs as have not the natural figure they ought to have . for there is nothing more certain , then that man , as well as all other animals , hath a proper and peculiar figure , design'd by nature to every one of his parts . and therefore as the soul hath an inclination to perform the actions , which are proper to the organs , she ought to have , so must it needs follow , that that inclination will be chang'd , when the organ is chang'd . but there remains yet a difficulty which seems nor easily resolvable . it is this , that the soul knows , by the instinct , the action , which the organs ought to perform , when they have the conformation proper and natural to them . on the contrary , this cannot be said , when the organ hath not the figure it ought to have , because the instinct gives her not the apprehension of the action , which is not proper to her , since it is a particular default , and that the instinct is a general apprehension bestow'd on the whole species . to rid our hands of this difficulty , we are to observe , that the figure of the parts is the effect of the formative vertue , and that the said vertue follows the temperament , or the impression , and image it hath receiv'd from the animal engendring . if it follow the temperament , the figure is not the cause of the inclination , it is only the sign of it , in regard the temperament is the true cause thereof , and in that case , the soul knows the action of the part by means of the temperament , as we have said before . but if it follow the impression , or the image of the animal which engenders , the formative vertue is the cause of the inclination , inasmuch as it is a faculty , which brings along with it , not only the character of the parts of the animal engendring , but also the disposition which it had to act conformably to their figure . and this is so unquestionable , that , many times , the child betrayes the same inclinations as his parents had done before him , though he do not resemble them , the temperament having opposed the figure of the parts , yet not had strength enough to deface the disposition to the inclination , which they had . now it is certain , that it is only the formative vertue which brings the character of these inclinations , there being not any thing which the animal engendring communicates to that which is engendred , but only that vertue , as several modern experiences have made apparent . now as the formative vertue , which is in the organs of the animal engendring , moves with those organs , so it acquires the same bent , and the same disposition to move , which those organs have ; so that , coming to frame another animal , it carries along with it that very same disposition , which it hath acquir'd , and communicates it thereto . and whereas this disposition is as it were a weight , continually pressing and solliciting the soul to move ; the soul sensible of that sollicitation , at last frames the judgment conformable to the impression she hath receiv'd from it , and afterwards derives it to the appetite , which entertains the same bent : and this bent is the true inclination , in regard the inclination cannot be any where but in the appetite . art. . how inclinations are produc'd by the remote causes . thus far have we discours'd of the natural and next causes of the inclinations . as to the remote , they are all in a manner reducible to the temperament . for the stars , the climate , age , aliment , and the indispositions of body , have no other influence on the inclinations , then what is caus'd by the alteration they make in the temperament . true it is , there are some diseases , which alter them , by destroying the conformation of the parts , as a man , who is maim'd in the hand or leg , looses the inclination he had to play on the lute , or dance . as concerning the moral causes , they dispose the estimative faculty to make its judgments , according to the apprehension it receives from them , of the strength or weakness they have : as nobleness of birth , wealth , good fortune , raise in men an inclination to ambition , pride , and courage , in regard they are perswaded , by the power they derive from them , that they deserve honours , and that there is not any thing , which they may not attempt ; whereas , on the contrary , the inclinations arising from meanness of birth , poverty , and ill fortune , are opposite to the other . all the rest , as course of life , arts , sciences , vertues , and vices , are grounded on custome , which renders things easie and agreeable , upon the recommendation of the profit or pleasure , that may be reaped thereby . for all this being frequently represented to the estimative faculty , it makes favourable judgments thereof , which are preserv'd in the memory , and at last cause the appetite to incline , as we have shewn elswhere . but we must not in this place omit one advertisement , which is absolutely necessary in reference to the subject we treat of . it is this , that , when we speak of the temperament , we do not understand only ▪ by that word , the conjunction and mixture of the first qualities , but our meaning is , to add thereto the second qualities . and therefore we do not speak only of the hot , cold , dry , or moist temperament , but also of the sanguine , cholerick , plegmatick , and melancholick temperament , in regard the humours , which give the denominations to these temperaments , comprehend these two sorts of qualities . but , of all the second qualities , there are not any so considerable , in reference to the inclinations , as subtilty and grossness , for every humour may be either subtile or gross , and a subtile melancholy is more different from a gross , then it is from choler . accordingly , the effects of it are promptitude , inconstancy , anger , as they are of choler ; whereas the productions of the gross melancholy are slothfulness , stupidity , obstinacy . and it is upon this particular , that medicine hath not sufficiently explicated it self , in the division of the temperaments ; for it hath set down but nine , one temperate , and the other eight in excess , which might have been multiplied , by addition of subtilty and grossness , and by the interchangeable mixtures , which may be assign'd in men ; as the cholerick-sanguine ; the melancholick-sanguine , &c. as we shall shew more exactly in the treatise of the temperaments . art. . of the nature of aversion . thus have we given an account of all we could discover in a business , which haply is the most obscure , and most abstruse , of any relating to animals . i must , for my part , ingenuously confess , that i never met with any thing , more hard to conceive , then the nature of the inclination , the manner after which it is fram'd in the soul , and how it causes the appetite to move . but if i have perform'd what i aim'd at in this disquisition , i may say , that i have made two discoveries for one ; for the reasons i have used to clear up these difficulties , may also serve for those that may occur in the knowledge of aversion , and are in all respects like unto them . accordingly the tearm aversion is not here taken for that motion of the appetite , which frames hatred , but only for a disposition and facility that it hath to assume that motion , the account we have to give of this , as to our meaning thereby , being the same we have already given of the word inclination . suitably to this explication , we are to affirm , that as the inclinations are either natural or acquired , so are there the same divisions of aversion . the appetite also is the seat of both . all the same causes , whether natural , or moral , or next , or remote , act therein after the same manner , and equally dispose the soul to move . all the difference is , that they have contrary objects , and that they alwaies tend to contrary motions . for the inclination looks only after things agreeable , and gives the soul a bent towards them ; but aversion is for those that are unpleasant , and disposes the appetite to avoid them . so that it may be thus defin'd , aversion is a permanent disposition , and a facility attain'd by a long progress of time , which the appetite hath to recede from certain objects , which are disagreeable thereto . there is no necessity of any further explication , how the soul comes to attain and contract this facility ; for whatever we have said concerning that which is in the inclination is common to both . chap. iii. of the motions of the soul. sect . i. that the soul moves . all people talk of the motions of the soul ; 't is generally said , that she is inclin'd towards the good , and avoids evil ; that she grows resolute , or is discourag'd , at the meeting of difficulties ; and there is no language but hath certain terms , whereby to express the agitations she gives her self : so that it is a thing manifest , and such as ought not to be admitted into dispute , that the soul can move , and that she effectually hath such motions as are proper and peculiar to her . and certainly , as it is to be granted , that she ought to know the things that are good and evil , and that this knowledge were of no advantage , nay would be prejudicial to her , if she had not the means to enjoy the good , and shun the evil ; in like manner , is it necessary , that , with the said knowledge , she should have the vertue of moving , that so she may approach the good , and recede from the evil , which she knows . art. . what part of the soul moves . for this reason therefore hath the soul two principal flaculties ; one , in reference to her knowledge , the other , to her motion ; which faculties are in all the orders of the soul . for in the intellectual soul , the vnderstanding knows , and the will moves ; in the sensitive , the imagination supplies the place of the knowing faculty , and the sensitive appetite frames the motions : and in the natural , there is also a certain vertue , which , after its manner , knows what is good or bad for it ; and an appetite which causes all the motions that we observe therein . art. . that the motions of the soul are not metaphorical . the greatest difficulty of all , is , to know , of what nature these motions are , and whether the soul does effectually move , or that this is a figurative manner of speaking , representing the actions of the soul , according to a certain conformity , which may be between them and the motions of the body . for my part , i am fully satisfy'd as to the question , and therefore affirm , ( though contrary to the tenents of all philosophy and the schools , maintaining that they are only metaphorical motions ) that they are true and real motions , whereby the soul changes place , and puts her self into diverse situations . art. . that the rational soul hath a real motion , as the angels have . to establish therefore this doctrine , which must serve to explicate the nature of the passions , we are , in the first place , to consider the motions of the rational soul. for if it can be shewn , that , being wholy spiritual , as she is , she nevertheless moves , it will be a great presumption for the others , which are fasten'd and chain'd to matter . now to do this would be no hard task , could we but comply so far with theology , as to grant that angels really move , that they pass from one place to another , that they dilate and contract themselves , taking up a greater or lesser space . for this verity presuppos'd , it may be inferr'd , that the rational soul , which is of the same nature with them , ought to have the same advantage . but what , is not the soul dilated when a child grows bigger ? is she not contracted , and restrain'd into a less space , when some members are cut off ? and when one dies , does she not depart out of the body , and remove into some other place ? which , if it is not to be doubted , that she is susceptible of a reall motion , since that in all these , there is a change of situation and place , as in the angels . and certainly it cannot well enter into a man's imagination , that being noble , as she is , she should be depriv'd of a vertue , which is common to all things created . for there is not any body , but hath the power to move it self , either by the weight or lightness it hath ; all things having life grow and diminish ; all animals move of themselves ; and if , to all this , we add the motion of angelical substances , it is not probable , the soul should be the only thing in the universe , that hath not any motion , and should , of its own nature , be immovable . art. . that the motions of the will are reall motions . i imagine to my self there are few persons will oppose this kind of motion , but they will haply object , that it is not in this the knot of the difficulty consists ; and that the question is , to know , whether the internal motions of the will , as love , hate , &c. are of the same kind with the forementioned . to make our way into this deep and subtile part of philosophy , we are to presuppose , that all the intellectual substances , which are created , have certain bounds and limits , in regard immensity is one of the incommunicable attributes of the creator . now , that which hath limits , must of necessity have extension , and that extension ought to have parts ; for a man cannot conceive limits without extension , nor any extension without parts , at least virtual and assignab e , as they are called in the schools . true it is indeed , that this extension , and these parts , are of another kind then those of bodies ; for they are spiritual , indivisible , and may be penetrated , without being subject to any place , whereby they should be limitted or confin'd : wheras those of bodies are material , divisible , and impenetrable , and really take up place , which limits and contains them . upon this ground we may affirm , that the rational soul hath extension , and the parts that are proper to substances separated from matter , that is to say , such as are spiritual , indivisible and penetrable , and that , by their means , she takes up some certain space , wherein she is . if the soul moves then , as we have shewn she does , as being movable in all its substance , it is in her power , not onely to pass from one part to another , and take up another space , then that which she had before ; but she may also , without changing the place , or part where she is , cause her parts to move in her self , after the same manner , as the water , contain'd in a vessel , may be agitated in its parts , without changing its place . for since she hath parts , and that those parts are movable , as her self , she may move such as she pleases , and as she thinks fit . and thence it is consequent , that one appetite may be moved , while the other rests , or suffers a contrary motion ; as it is said , that an angel may have some parts that move , while others rest . when therefore the soul changes place , she makes that kind of motion , which is called transient , which is like that which the angels make , when they remove from one place to another . but when she changes not , and is onely mov'd within her self , she makes the interiour motions of the will : for , according as she either sends forth , or calls in her parts within her self ; according as she dilates or contracts them , she frames all the passions , as we shall shew hereafter . and certainly the soul may , with just grounds , be compar'd to a great abyss , which , without exceeding its bounds , suffers all the motion , which the tempest can raise therein : one while it is violently forc'd against the banks , and then immediately to recede again ; another , it seems to be forc'd out of its profundities , and then again to enter into them ; but how impetuous soever the tempest be , the other never exceeds its bounds . the case is much the same with the will , when it makes after the good , or shuns the evil , it makes place for it self ; if it go forward , or retreat , it neither gains nor loses any thing of the space , which it took up , in so much that it may be said , that it is already where it would go , and that it still continues in the same place whence it went. for , in fine , we must necessarily acknowledge , that there are in this vast and profound power many , and those different , parts , which like waves follow one in the neck of the other , and keep in motion the current , into which it suffers it self to be carried away . when one is advanc'd to the highest pitch , another that follows takes its place , which it as soon resigns to another , and so successively , till such time as the soul gives over moving ! true it is , that the agitation , which the will raises in the spirits , and humours , makes its motion last much longer then it intended it should : for when they are gross and dense , the impetuosity , which they have receiv'd , cannot be so soon calm'd , as when they are rare and subtile , and the soul suffers her self to be carried away by the motion , whereby they are agitated . thus is it , that the passions continue longer in men then children : for these latter pass in a moment from joy to sadness , nay , when they give over laughing , we see the lines and lineaments of the precedent laughter immediately vanished : whereas in men , they pass away slowly , and leave in the face , for the space of some minutes , the impression they have made therein . for all this difference proceeds hence , that the spirits of children are more delicate and subtile , and consequently , as all other things of the like nature , do not long retain the violence of the motion , which is imprinted in them , and that those of men , being more gross , preserve them a long time . how ere it be , according to the principle we have laid down , it may be easily conceiv'd how the soul is mov'd in the passions , and the mind remains much more satisfy'd with this manner of acting , which is conformable to that of corporeal motions , then when it is affirm'd , that there are no real motions in the soul , and that they are onely metaphorical , for , if by that word , it be not understood , that they are not absolutely like the motions of the body , the thing it self remains as obscure as it was before . art. . the objections made against the motions of the soul considered . i know very well , what objections aristotle made against plato , who maintain'd , as we do , that the soul really moves i have also look'd on those , which the schools have added unto aristole . but there is but one answer to be made to them all which , is this , that taking away the motion of the soul , they take away that of angels , upon which the same inconveniences , which are attributed to the other , must necessarily fall , though , that angels do move , be a truth , not to be brought into dispute . it is argu'd further , that whatsoever moves ought to take up some places , and , as place , to have quantity ; that the soul hath no quantity , since she is indivisible , and wholly in every part of the body , and consequently that she cannot move . moreover , it is requisite that in all motion , what moves should be different from that which is moved ; and that the soul , which is simple and indivisible , cannot have things separate and different , and consequently , that it is impossible she should move . but do's not al this reflect on the angels as well as on the soul , who , notwithstanding these reasons , are yet granted to move of themselves ? but when all is done , these maximes are proper onely to corporeal motions , and not to those of spiritual substances , as we learn in the metaphysicks . what might be objected of greatest weight , is , that motion is , of its own nature , successive , and that succession implies time , wherereas most part of the souls motions are instantaneous , that is , made in an instant . but we have shewn in our treatise , of light , that there are real motions of those taht are momentany ; that those of light , and those of angels , which after they have been contracted , resume their former dilation or extent , are so wrought ; and consequently , that the motions of the will , being eminent , are of that order , since it is a thing affirm'd by many eminent philosophers , that those motions of immaterial substances , which are transient , are made in an instant . it is therefore a thing to be maintain'd as manifest , that the rational soul moves ; that , being a limited substance , she hath some extension , without which , we cannot conceive any limits ; that the said extension cannot be without parts , and that those parts are movable , as well as the whole ; that accordingly she may move within her self , by moving her parts , and that thence proceed all the interiour motions of the will. art. . the motions of the appetites . now , if this be true of the rational soul , which is spiritual , it will be much more easily comprehended to be so in the others , which are fastened to matter , and there will be no question made , but that they are susceptible of the same motions , in as much as motion belongs principally to things material . accordingly therefore , the sensitive and natural appetites , suffer the same agitations as the will , when it loves , when it hates , &c. and these motions are interiour and immanent , and are fram'd in a moment ▪ as those of the will. but what ? wil some body say , if these two appetites are chain'd to matter , there is a necessity the matter should move along with them ; and how can matter move in an instant ? it may be said in the first place , that we are not to imagine the matter , whereto the appetite is chain'd , to be gross and weighty , as most of the parts of the body are , but it is requisite that the power have a subject proportionable to it self , and that the appetite , which is the most movable part of the soul , should have a subject the most movable of any . thus , though the appetite have its seat in the heart , yet it is not to be inferr'd , that the whole heart is its first and principal seat . no , that seat is the spirits , and that moist heat , which is the source of life , and ever in motion , as hippocrates affirms . so that it is not to be admir'd , the matter whereto it is fastned , should so easily and so readily follow the agitation , which it gives it self . secondly , it is to be noted , that matter doth not always hinder things from moving in an instant , in regard there are massie bodies , that do move so . for it is not to be doubted , but that a weighty body , sustain'd in the air , makes some effort to descend , that it presses upon the hand that stays it there , and that a man feels every moment the impulsion which it makes therein , which impulsion is , no doubt , a real motion . moreover , light , which is a material quality , and requires a subject to support it , does nevertheless move in an instant , as we have shewn in its proper place . now , these two examples do not onely make it manifest , that material things are mov'd instantaneously ; but they also give us a certain apprehension of the manner , whereby the appetite moves the soul , and whereby it moves it self in the body . for it may be said , that it is like a weight , which thrusts the soul to that whereto it would have her to go . and it moves in the heart , as light does in a transparent body ; that is , it enters into it ; it comes out of it ; it dilates it self in it ; it also contracts it self ; yet so as the diaphanous body hath no sense of all those motions , though it be the subject , whereto the light is annexed . the case is the same with the appetite which , though fastened to its subject , may dilate it self in joy , contract it self in grief , issue out of , and return into , it self in love and hatred , and all , so as that the body suffers nothing of all these motions . true it is , that the heart and spirits are agitated and stirr'd in great passions ; but , not to urge that they are effects which follow and come after the emotion of the soul , it is to be observ'd , that there are some passions , which continue in the appetite , without making any impression on those parts . and this may suffice , to shew , that the appetite may move , so as that the body be not chang'd thereby . sect . . how good and evil move the appetite . but in order to a more exact knowledge of all these motions , we are yet to find out , what it is that engages and excites the appetite to make them , which is one of the most abstruse things , of any in the nature of the soul , and the most hard to be conceiv'd , according to the maximes of the schools , for , though it be out of all controversie , that good and evil are the onely objects , which cause all the motions of the appetite , yet is it not easie , to express the manner , how it is done , since good and evil make no impression on the soul , otherwise then by the images , which the knowing faculties frame thereof , of , and that those images have not any other vertue , then to represent . for , if that representation be not subservient to the knowledge of things , it will not be any way usefull to the appetite , which is a blind power , and , as it is affirmed , not capable of any knowledge . i am content that the practick vnderstanding , and the estimative faculty should judge , whether things are good or evil ; that they should present them to the appetite , and command it to move , in order either to its union with them , or recession from them . but how does the appetite see ? how does it know , when it neither sees nor knows any thing but those images , those judgments and commands being fram'd in the said faculties ? what is it that teaches the appetite , that it ought , at that time , to move after such or such a manner , in order to its union with the good , and , after another manner , to recede from the evil , when it knows not whether the good or evil have been presented to the soul ? all these difficulties are the brood of two principles , which some have brought into the schools . one is , that the images , which are fram'd in the soul , depart not out of the faculty , whereby they are produced : the other , that the appetite , of what order soever it be , hath no● any knowledge . and upon these two foundations , they imagin'd that this inference must necessarily be built , that the faculties act one after another , by a certain sympathy there is between them , or by the direction of the soul , in the substance , unto which they are reunited . now , we shall elsewhere make it appear , that these two means cannot be maintain'd ; and therefore some other must be found , to take away the difficulties proposed , without destroying those principles . we must then subscribe unto , as certain , that the image , idaea , and conceit , which the knowing faculty frames , goes not out of it ; and that the appetite , of what order soever it be , hath not any animal knowledge , which it may frame by images , as the understanding and imagination . but it is as certain also , that the image , which the understanding and the imagination frame , produces another ▪ which is spread into all the parts of the soul ; and that the appetite hath a natural knowledge , which is common to all things , by which knowledge they know what is good , what evil , for them , as also the actions whereto they are desig'nd . art. . how knowledge is wrought . to make an absolute establishment of this doctrine , it is to be presuppos'd , that knowledge is an action , and that , without doubt , the noblest of all those that are performed in nature , and that the soul acts and does something , when she knows . now , in regard we cannot make any other conceit of knowledge , then as the representation of things , which is made in the soul , it follows , that the soul , which acts , while she knows the things , must her self make this representation , that is , frame the pourtraiture and image of the things . for there is no other action then that , that the soul can do in knowing , and so to know , signifies as much as to frame the image of the objects , as we have shewn at large in our treatise , of the knowledge of animals . now , whereas there are several faculties that know , it is requisite , for the reasons by us before alledged , that every one of them frame its image . for my part , who acknowledge but three principal ones in the sensitive soul , to wit the sense , the imagination , and the estimative faculty , and two in the intellectuall , to wit , the speculative understanding and the practick , i must accordingly allow , that there may be framed but five sorts of images in general . and though they all represent the same thing , yet are they different one from another , not onely by reason of the subtilty which they acquire by so many different examinations , but also by that of the several circumstances , which each of the faculties add thereto . for the external sense frames its image , according to the model of the sensible species , which come from without , and represents the object , with the circumstances of time , place , &c. as a whole , whereof it distinguishes not the parts . from this first image , the imagination afterwards produces , that which is proper to it ; but it distinguishes the circumstances , and the parts of the object ; it separates , or unites them ; and so frames its judgments , which may be called , in some sort , speculative , because the animal makes no advantage of them , in order to action , but onely in order to knowledge . then the estimative faculty makes its image , according to the model of that of the senses and imagination ; but it adds thereto the notions of good and evil , which it also unites , and which it separates , that so it may make the practick judgment , which is to move the sensitive appetite . but if , after all this , there be a necessity , that the understanding should take cognizance of the same object , according to all the precedent material images , it also frames its own , which is wholly spiritual , which it separates from all material accidents , and whereof it considers all the parts , and the relations it may have , uniting , or dividing them , in order to the making of speculative propositions : and then it adds thereto , the notions of conformity , or contrariety , goodness or evil , from which it frames the practick judgment , which excites the will and sensitive appetite . all this would require a longe , elucidation ; but it would not be proper for this place ; and therefore let it suffice , that we have given an account , in general , of the progress made , in the business of knowledge . art. . that the images are multiply'd . but however the case may stand , this image , so framed as before shewn , of what order soever it may be , is a quality , which , after it is once produced , is multiply'd , and diffused into the parts of the soul , as was said before . for , since there is not any sensible quality , which hath not the vertue of multiplying it self , and diffusing it se ; lf into the air , and other bodies susceptible thereof , as may be observ'd in light , colour , sound , scent , &c. it is not likely , that this , which is the noblest of all , as being the term and effect of the most perfect action of all , should be depriv'd of an advantage , common to all the rest . besides , were it not for this multiplication , it would be impossible , to give any reason , for most things that happen in animals . for example , we should not be able to comprehend , how the formative faculty does sometimes change the order , which nature hath prescrib'd it , in the conformation of the parts , to follow the designs which the imagination proposes to it , without judging whether it ought to participate of the images , which the latter hath framed , since there is so great a resemblance between its work and the imagination . and as these images cannot get out of the imagination , so is it necessary , they should produce others like themselves , which should descend to the lower part of the soul , to design to her the figure which it is then giving to the organs . moreover , if the memory be a power , different from the imagination , it is necessary , that all the species , which it hath in keeping , should be of this nature , and the effects , and , as it were , the copies of those first images , which were produced by knowledge , and which can no more pass from one power to another , then any of all the other accidents . in fine , there will be no ground to make any doubt of this truth , if it may be shewn , that after the ●mages of the imagination are blotted out , there are still found some remainders thereof in the other powers , and subsist there a long time , after the others are lost . now , besides that the proof of it is clear in the memory , which so preserves its images , is prejudic'd by a too intentive application of spirit , and grows less faithfull , when the imagination would relieve it . it may be also drawn , from those marks , which mothers give their children , during their being with child ; from that kind of reminiscency which remains in the fingers of a lutinist , even after he hath forgotten the lessons he could have play'd ; and from those deep impressions and inclinations , which certain objects leave in the appetite and will. for it is impossible all this should happen , as it does , but that there must remain some character of these first images , which the understanding or imagination frame , and are preserv'd in those other faculties , a long time after the former are vanished . yet it is not to be imagin'd , that the faculties , into which thsee images are diffus'd , should be of the rank of the knowing faculties , because they have the instruments of knowledge , for we have shewn in the place alledg'd , that a faculty cannot know , but it must withall produce in it self the images of the things . so that these , not producing the images which they have , and onely receiving them , as an effect of the first image , fram'd by the imagination , they cannot know it by a clear and perfect knowledge , but onely , according to that which is competent to all natural things , which , if we may use an odd kind expression , know without knowing , what is conformable or contrary to them . thus is it , that the magnetick vertue , which is communicated to iron , makes it know , and sensible of , the presence of the load-stone , and afterwards excites it to move , and make towards it . when therefore there is an image fram'd , in any one of the knowing faculties , it is , as it were , a light , which is multiply'd , and diffuses it self into all parts of the soul susceptible thereof our meaning is , that that which is spiritual is communicated to the spirial faculties , and that which is material , to the corporeal faculties , and both kinds act therein according to the nature of the faculty , into which they are entertain'd . for , if it be movable , as the appetite , that image moves : if it hath no action , as the memory , it produces nothing , but is onely preserv'd in it : if it be alterative , as the formative vertue , it serves for a model for the alteration , which it causes in the members ; and so of the rest . the case is the same with it , as with that magnetick vertue we spoke of before , which , though equally communicated to all bodies , does not equally act upon them ; it alters and moves the load-stone , iron , and glaz'd tiles , yet without causing any alteration or motion in all the rest if it be so , it will be no hard matter to affirm , how the appetite , blind as it is , may know good and evil , and move conformably to the nature of either . for since the im●ge , which the estimative faculty , or practick vnderstanding , hath fram'd thereof ; is multiply'd , and diffus'd through all the parts of the soul ; the appetite receives it , feels it , and afterwards moves , as it ought , in order to its union with the good , or recession from the evil , to its assaulting , or opposing of it , according to the instruction receiv'd from the instinct , and the knowledge which all natural things have , either to be united to that which is conformable , or to avoid and resist that which is contrary to them . sect . . what are motions of the soul. to resume the discourse we have interrupted , we say further , that , of what kind soever the motions of the ●ppetite are , whether real , or metaphorical , they are those which frame the passions of the soul. for though the schools have restrained that name , to the motions of the sensitive appetite , either by reason of the violence they do reason , or that the body sensibly suffers thereby ; yet , if we consider the agitation , which the soul endures , we shall find , that not onely that which is made in the will , but also that in the natural appetite , is like that , which the sensitive appetite suffers . for the will loves and hates , rejoyces and is sad , as well a● the other : and there are in the natural appetite , such motions as are answerable to those others , since nature seeks that , which is behovefull , and shuns what is prejudicial to it , is satisfy'd , or troubled , at the occurrence thereof , is heightned or discourag'd , as we shall shew more particularly hereafter . and as to the violence which the sensitive passions do reason , and the alteration they cause in the body , they are the effects which they produce , yet enter not into their essence , but are common to all the motions of the appetite , of what order soever it be , and do not always accompany the emotions of the sensitive appetite . accordingly , as the appetite is the principle of all corporeal motions , so is it requisite , that it should be moved , before any part of the body can be ; and consequently the agitation of the spirits , which is observ'd in the passions , and causes all the changes , that happen in the body , is not wrought , till after the soul is moved . moreover , the motions of the will are , many times , contrary to reason , as well as those of the sensitive appetite , and in the most spiritual passions , such as ambition , envie , &c. it alters the body , as well as the other . nay , it may be affirmed , that , in the motions of the natural appetite , the body sometimes endures a greater alterat●on , then in those of the sensitive appetite , as it appears in a fever , which is the choler of the natural faculty . to be short , neither doth that violence , nor that alteration always follow the emotions of the sensitive appetite . of these , there are some conformable to reason ; there are some that remain in the soul , and do not descend to the corporeal faculties , as being raised up and dispers'd so of a sudden , that they have not the time to spread themselves into them . whereto may be added , that angels are susceptible of love , hatred , joy , sadness , &c. as theology teacheth . whence it may be inferr'd , that there is no ground , for the taking away of the name of passions , from the motions of the will and natural appetite , and consequently , it may be affirm'd , that all the motions of every appetite are passions , since the agitation , which the soul endures thereby , is equal in them all , and that the end , which she proposeth to her self therein , is , as to them , also alike : for by them all she is agitated and mov'd , either towards the enjoyment of good , or the eschewing of evil. true it is , that these motions are called by divers names , according as they are more or less vehement . for , as we call those winds which are more then ordinarily violent , by the name of storms and tempests ; so , when the passions are great and extraordinary , they are called perturbations . and certainly , it may , with some ground , be affirm'd , that the passions are , as it were , the winds of the soul. for , as the air , which continues in a constant calmness and tranquility , is unwholesom ; and yet is purify'd by moderate winds , but if they are too violent , they raise tempests in it : in like manner , the soul , which is not stirr'd by any passion , must needs be heavie , and of an unhealthy constitution ; and therefore it is requisite , it should be moderately agitated , that it may be the more pure and more susceptible of vertue . but if it happen that the passions become too violent , they raise in her such tempests , as disturb reason , confound the humours , and alter the whole constitution of the body . sect . . of the number of the passions . the art how to know men , having promised to discover the motions of the soul , we now come to examine , how many ways it may be mov'd , and what number there may be of the passions , whereby it may be so mov'd . in order to the prosecution of that design , it is to be presupposed , that every appetite hath two parts , the concupiscible , and the irascible ; by the former , it persues good , and shuns evil ; by the latter , it either opposes , or complies with , the difficulties , which present themselves . for , as the universe consists , and is full of things contrary and opposite one to another ; so is there not any thing can continue in it , without meeting with enemies , which assault and endeavour to destroy it . so that it was the work of the providence of nature , to bestow on every thing , not onely the vertues , which were necessary for the execution of its ordinary , and , as it were , domestick functions , but also those , which should secure it against the attempts of others , and prevent the violences which it might be exposed to abroad . upon this account it is , that all things have some qualities , conducing to the preservation of their being ; and others , enabling them to oppose what is contrary thereto ; and that the animals , wherein these vertues are more distinct , have bestow'd on them two different appetites ; the concupiscible , to seek out what is convenient for them , and avoid what is hurtfull ; and the irascible , to resist evil , to ingage against , and destroy it , if there be a necessity . in fine , the irascible is that part of the soul , which governs the forces of the animal , and manages them , according as the evil seems to require a weak or powerfull resistance . now , these two parts of the appetite may move either together , or distinctly : for , in grief , onely the co●cupiscible part is mov'd ; in courage , onely the irascible ; but in anger , both are mov'd at the same time , in as much as anger is a combination of grief and courage . when they move distinctly , they frame simple passions ; when they move together , they make mixt passions . art. . what the simple passions , and how many there are . the schools set down eleven simple passions ; i● the concupiscible appetite , six ; to wit , love , hate , desire , aversion , pleasure and grief : and in the irascible , five to wit , hope , despair , confidence , or audacity , fear , and anger . but we are to observe , that , in this division , constancy is forgotten , which is a real passion , and serves for matter to the vertue of constancy , patience , and perseverance , obstinacy and hardness ; of heart ; as also , that among the simple pasions , anger and hope are numbred , which , no doubt , are mixt passions ; the former , consisting of grief and courage ; and hope being framed of desire and constancy . moreover , aversion is propos'd , as a passion distinct from hate , though it be the same thing . nay indeed , desire ought not to have been put into the number , as being a species of love , and having not any motion , different from that of the other . art. . that there aro but eight simple passions . having therefore taken off these four passions ▪ and establish'd constancy in their stead , there remain but eight simple passions ; four in the concupiscible appetite , to wit love , hate , pleasure and grief ; and four more in the irascible ; that is to say , audacity , fear , constancy , and consternation , under which despaire is comprehended , art. . why there are but eight simple passions . this is the natural division of the passions , as being grounded on the several kinds of motions , whereby the soul is stirr'd : for since the passions are the motions of the soul , it is according to the diversity of the motions , that the passions ought principally to be distingish'd . it is also easie to be comprehended , by the consideration of the motions , which the spirits suffer in the passions ; for being like those of the soul , which communicates to them the agitation that she endures , it is manifest , after how many fashions soever the spirits are moved , so many several waies is the soul also moved . now the spirits are susceptible of four motions , which are common to all natural bodies , and are the first and simplest of all motions ; to wit , those of ascent , descent , rarefaction , and condensation . for when they issue out of the heart , to spread themselves into the exteriour parts , the motion is from the centre to the circumference , and that is , to ascend ; and when they make their retreat into the heart , 't is the contrary motion , from the circumference to the centre , that is , descent : they are rarified , when they spread and are dilated ; and lastly , they are condens'd , when they are contracted in themselves . the appetite suffers proportionably the same motions ; for though it changes not place , as they do , and that its motions are interiour and immanent , yet does it nevertheless cause those parts to move , which are in the extension of the soul ; so that , one while , it forces them to issue out ; another , it makes them retreat in again ; one while , it dilates ; another , it contracts them , when therefore chese four motions are made in the concupiscible appetite , they frame the four first passions , of that appetite , to wit , love , hate , pleasure and grief . for the soul does as it were issue out of her self in love ; she retires into her self in hate ; she dilates her self in pleasure , and she contracts her self in grief . but when the same motions are made in the irascible appetite , which is that part , which hath a respect to the difficulties that encompass good and evil , they frame the four first passions of that appetite , to wit , audacity , fear , constancy , and consternation . for in audacity , the soul issues out , as in love , in fear , she retires , as in hate , in constancy , she contracts her self , and is confirmed , as in grief ; and in consternation , she dilates herself , and is enlarged , as in joy. so that there is a resemblance , between the motions of both appetites , and they differ only in reference to the power , whereby they are excited , and the end , which the soul proposes to herself therein . for , in love , the soul issues out of her self in order to the embracing of the good she persues ; but in audacity , she issues out of her self , to engage the evil she would oppose ; and so of the rest , as we shall shew more particularly in the discourse of every passion , and as may be observ'd in the several definitions we shall give of them , in the subsequent article . art . the definitions of the simple passions . there are therefore , according to the precedent deduction , four simple passions in the concupiscible appetite ; to wit , love , which is a motion of the appetite , whereby the soul is inclin'd towards the good , in order to its union thereto . hate , which is a motion of the appetite , whereby the soul separates her self , and recedes from the evil. pleasure , which is a motion of the appetite , whereby the soul is dilated , and spreads her self into the good , in order to her more absolute possession thereof . grief , which is a motion of the appetite , whereby the soul contracts her self , to shun the evil that presses upon her . the four other passions , which belong to the irascible appetite , are , constancy , which is a motion of the appetite , whereby the soul is fortifi'd , and grows resolute , in order to the resistance of those evils which set upon her . consternation , which is a motion of the appetite , whereby the soul is weakned , and gives way to the violence of the evil. audacity , which is a motion of the appetite , whereby the soul violently bestirs her self against the evil , to overcome it . fear , which is a motion of the appetite , whereby the soul retreats , and with a certain precipitation , shuns the evil , which she perceives coming upon her . art. . the definitions of the mixt passions . as concerning the mixt passions , which are made up of the simple , and are framed , when both the appetites are moved at the same time , the most considerable of them are these : . hope . . arrogance . . impudence . . emulation . . anger . . repentance . . shame . . jealousie . . compassion . . envy . . agony . hope is a mixture of the desire of the good , and the constancy a man expresses , in opposing the difficulties , whereby it is encompassed . arrogance proceeds from self love , and the audacity a man hath to surpass others . impudence is fram'd of the pleasure and confidence a man hath to do unhansome things . emulation is a mixture of grief which a man is apt to be subject to , that he is not master of those perfections , of which he imagines another to be , and the hope of being able to acquire them . anger consists of the grief , which a man endures for an injury receiv'd , and the audacity he hath to retort it . repentance proceeds from the grief , which a man conceives for the evil he hath committed , attended by a detestation of it ; which may be termed a kind of audacity , as we shall shew in its proper place . shame proceeds from a mixture of grief , and fear of infamy . jealousie is a confusion of love , hate , fear and despair . compassion consists of the grief , which other mens misfortunes raise in us , and a fear lest we our selves may fall into the like inconveniences . envy , is a mixture of grief , and a certain despair of coming to the enjoyment of that good , which we see happens to others . agony is a mixture of grief , fear , and audacity . art. . the natural order of the passions . the order , which all these passions ought , naturally , to observe among themselves ; requires that the simple should be rank'd before the mixt , since these last are but so many compositions of the others ; as also that the passions of the concupiscible part should have precedence of those of the irascible , in regard the concupiscible appetite , being employed about the simple consideration of good and evil , and the irascible considering the same with the difficulties whereby they are encompass'd , the said difficulties are only subsequent circumstances . but if we compare them , according to their particular kinds , love and hate ought to have precedence of all the rest . for there is not any one of those , which have the good for their object , but it is preceded , and accompany'd by love , as all those that have evil for their object are the same , by hate . accordingly , he , who is sensible of the evil , or opposes it , who engages against it , or shuns it , does infallibly hate it : in like manner , love is the first motion which the appetite makes towards the good as hate is the first it makes , in reference to evil. but what love and hate are in respect of all the passions , the same is constancy , and consternation , in respect of all the passions of the irascible appetite , whether they be simple , or mixt . for it is requisite , that the soul should be fortify'd , in audacity , hope , arrogance , impudence , emulation , anger and repentance : on the contrary , in fear , shame , jealousie , compassion and envy , it is expected she should be enlarged , or admit of some relaxation . love also hath the precedence of hate , because good ought naturally to have it of evil , as the form precedes privation . pleasure should also go before grief , in as much as the former proceeds from the presence of the good , the latter , from the presence of evil. the same thing is to be affirm'd proportionably of constancy and audacity , in reference to consternation and fear . and according to these rules , the mixt passions ought to be ranked , as we have done it : for hope ought to be the first , because it consists of love and constancy , which are the first passions of both the appetites . arrogance hath the next place , as being a mixture of love and audacity ; and so of the rest . art . that there are three orders of the passions . now all these passions , as well the simple as the mixt , are of three orders , or classes ; for they are framed , either in the will , or in the sensitive appetite , or the natural appetite , each whereof hath its distinct concupiscible and irascible parts . but there is nevertheless this difference between them , that those parts are more distinct , and more compleat in the will , then they are in the sensitive appetite , and more perfect yet in this latter , then in the natural appetite . for there are some , especially of the mixt passions , which can hardly be observ'd in the sensitive appetite , and in case they be fram'd therein , they are ( if we may use that expression ) but shadows and rude images of those , which are rais'd in the will. accordingly , though anger , hope , arrogance , jealousie , emulation , and envy are apparent in beasts , yet are all the rest but trick'd and rudely drawn ▪ and therefore it is not easie , to make , in them , any observation of shame , impudence , compassion , and remorse , though they may discover certain obscure lines and tracks thereof . but all , even the simple passions themselves , are so obscure in the natural appetite , that never any body yet gave them the name of passions , though they be really such , and ought to be so called , as we said before . we are however to observe , that those passions which belong to the irascible appetite , are more apparent in the natural appetite then the others : for it is certain , that nature opposes evils , that she engages against them , that sometimes she is discourag'd , and quits the field , and there is not any thing so common in medicine , as to say , that she is stirr'd and provoked ; nay , we have shewn elswhere , that a fever is the anger of the natural faculty , so that it is not to be doubted , but that audacity and anger , constancy , and consternation , are framed in that inferiour part of the soul. but as to those of the concupiscible appetite , they are not so manifest in it ; neither are love , hate , pleasure and grief , to be observ'd in it so sensibly as the others : and yet there is a necessity they should be framed therein . for it is not to be imagined , that the evil can be shunn'd , unless it be first hated , since hate is the first motion , which evil excites in the appetite . neither can anger be without grief , since it is part thereof . so that the natural appetite is susceptible of hate and grief , and consequently of love and pleasure , since they are contraries compatible to the same subject . moreover , if nature knows and shuns what is hurtful to her , it is requisite that she should also know and pursue that which is good for her ; and this cannot be done unless she have a love to it , since love is the first motion fram'd by the appetite , in order to the pursuit of good : and as the presence of evil procureth grief to her so is it necessary , that the presence of good should cause pleasure to her . but , as we said before , these passions are so weak and obscure , that the senses cannot easily take notice of them ; and indeed they are not easily discoverable , otherwise then by reason and discourse . the cause of this diversity proceeds not only hence , that these appetites are more inclin'd to motion , one then another . for the will , being disengag'd from matter , moves more easily then the sensitive appetite , and this more easily then the natural , in regard it hath , for its subject , a more subtile matter , and consequently more inclinable to motion then it . but it proceeds also from the more or less perfect knowledge , which directs them . for as the understanding knows more perfectly , and more things , then the imagination , so does it withall inspire the will with a greater variety of motions , then the other does ; and this latter also , having a greater and more exact knowledge , then the natural faculty , does accordingly frame more passions in the sensitive appetite than there are in the natural appetite . sect . . how the passions of one appetite are communicated to another . there is yet another thing to be considered , which is of very great importance , to wit , that the passions , framed in either of the three appetites , are ordinarily communicated from one to another ; so that those of the will descend into the sensitive appetite , and the natural appetite , as theirs do ascend into the will. for it is certain , that the will does many times suffer it self to be transported with the love , pleasure , and grief , by which the sensitive appetite is stirr'd , in the same manner as love , and the gladness and sadness of the mind spread themselves into the body , and cause conformable emotions therein . but the difficulty is , to know how this communication is wrought . for it might seem , since things material can have no action upon the spiritual , that neither sensible goods nor sensible evils can touch the spirit ; nor consequenly , be acceptable or delightful objects thereto . on the other side , though the understanding may heighten the phantasmes of the imagination , and render them spiritual , yet is it not in the power of the imagination , to change the idaea's of the understanding , which are spiritual , into corporeal phantasms : consequent whereto it is , that the goods and evils of the mind cannot touch the sensitive soul , nor raise any passion therein . to answer these reasons , and resolve this great difficulty , we might affirm , with the schools , that there is a sympathy between the faculties of the soul , and that they are so strictly combin'd together , that it is impossible , one should not have a sentiment of what passes in the other ; or haply , that , being all reunited in the substance of the soul , which is the centre and principle thereof , and , as it were , the main wheel , which keeps them all in their several motions ; it is the soul her self that causes them to act , one after another , conformably to the actions that are to be done . so that , for example , the appetite moves , after the knowledge of imagination , and the members move after the emotion of the appetite , in regard there is a certain sympathy betwixt these faculties , or that the soul excites them , and disposes them to act in that order . this being so , it would be no hard matter to tell how the passions of one appetite pass into another , in as much as these powers acting one after another , according to the sympathy there is between them ▪ or by the particular direction of the soul , it is necessary , not onely that the soul should move , after she hath been enlightned by the understanding , but it is also requisite , that the sensitive appetite should stirr after her ; in the same manner as we apprehend , that the will is oblig'd to move , as soon as the imagination hath excited some motion in the sensitive appetite . but to deal ingenuously , we must acknowledge , that these opinions do not fully satisfie the mind . for , besides that the word sympathy is one of those tearms that serve to elude difficulties , and flatter our ignorance ; it may be farther press'd , that if , by it onely , the rational soul and the sensitive communicate their passions to each other , it will be requisite , that there should not be any passion in the latter , which does not ascend into the will , and that all kinds of sadness should be attended by grief , and in like manner all grief by sadness . but this is not true ; since they are onely the greatest sadnesses whereof the body hath any resentment , and that light griefs reach not the mind , and cast it not into sadness . besides , this sympathy does not exclude that manner of acting , which is natural to the faculties : it is an order establish'd by nature , that the sensitive appetite should be enlightned by the ●magination , and that the imagination should take cognizance onely of things sensible . how comes it then to pass , that it should know the object of a spiritual passion ? on the other side , how are we to conceive , that the understanding and will , which are spiritual powers , suffer themselves to be mov'd by corporeal objects ? and how can grief , for example , be said to excite sadness in the mind , what sympathy soever may be imagin'd between these powers ? in fine , sympathy does always presuppose some knowledge ; for the iron ought to feel the presence of the load-stone , that it may move towards it . and consequently it is requisite , that every appetite should know the judgment of the faculty , which enlightens it ; whereas , in the mean time , the appetite is a blind-power , and such as hath not any knowledge . again , if it be said , that it is the substance of the soul which sets these faculties in action , which yet cannot be done without her having a knowledge of the order they ought to observe in their actions , and a particular cognizance of the manner , after which the appetite ought to move in every passion ; it will follow , that the soul ought to have in her self the knowledge of an infinity of things , and that she should know them by her own proper substance , without the assistance of any faculty ; an excellency not to be found in any created being , and to be attributed onely to divine nature . let us therefore endeavour to find out some other plausible means , whereby the body & soul may be said to communicate one to the other , the good and evil they resent . to do that , we are to observe , that the mind , which is the noblest , and most excellent part of man , is also , as it were , king of that little monarchy , taking notice of whatsoever passes therein , that is worth the consideration , and having a particular care of the body , as being the instrument of most of its actions , and , together with it , making up a whole , in the subsistence and preservation whereof it is no less concern'd , then in its own . in so much that it is not to be admir'd , that it should have a certain sentiment of the good or evil things which happen to the other , and that it should frame the same passions , which they raise in the sensitive appetite . and this is no hard matter for it to do , in as much as it sees the phantasms , which the imgination hath made thereof , upon which , it frames its idaeas and judgments , and afterwards presents them to the will. by this means is it then , that the passions of the body are ordinarily communicated to the mind . but the case is not the same with those of the mind , in reference to the body , in as much as it is not by knowledge that the understanding communicates them to the sensitive soul , for the reason by us before alledged ; but it is immediately done by the motion , which the will imprints in the sensitive appetite . for there is no inconvenience in affirming , that the will moves the appetite , because motion is common as well to things spiritual as corporeal ; but in maintaining , that the thoughts of the understanding are communicated to the imagination , there is , in regard spiritual things cannot ever become corporeal . to clear up this proposition a little further , we are to observe , that the will hath an immediate command & superintendency , over all the parts of the soul and body , which are moved voluntarily . for it is in its power to move the members , without any interposition of the sensitive appetite ; it being unlikely , for example , that , in a resolution which the understanding hath made to stretch forth the hand , it should be requisite , that that motion be made by the directions of the sensitive soul , which hath not any apprehension of the object , or the motive of that action . now , if it hath this power over the members , with much more reason shall it have the same over the appetite , which being nearer , and more apt to move , then they are , ought accordingly to be the more subject thereto ; and consequently , the will may stirr it , and imprint in it the same motions which it hath given it self . hence it also follows , that all those things which are in motion , as well the corporeal as the spiritual , produce , in those others whereto they are apply'd , a certain motive quality , which may be called impetuosity , and that is , as it were , an impression and communication of their motion . for , it is by this communication , that the bodies , which are forced or darted , continue the motion they have receiv'd from the hand , though they be at a distance from it . by the same communication is it also , that angels do enforce bodies , & chase away evil spirits , in regard they have not any vertue or means to act really and physically on things , other then the motion they imprint in them . this being certain , it follows , that the will , which moves , should imprint its motion in the sensitive appetite , and that it should stirr , yet so , as that the latter stand not in need of any precedent knowledge of the imagination . for , though it be true , that the sensitive appetite cannot move , but it must receive a previous illumination from that faculty , yet is this to be understood onely when it moves of it self , and suffers no violence , by any other strange cause , as it is here . now , as the will imprints in this appetite the emotion it gives it self ; in like manner , when this latter is stirr'd , it communicates its motion to the will , in regard that , whatsoever moves may imprint its motion on the things which are near it , if they do not oppose it either by the weight , or some contrary motion . for the will and appetite do many times oppose one the other , by their contrary agitations ; nor do the members , and other bodies , always obey them , by reason of their weight , which is stronger then the motion imprinted in them by the will and appetite . all that may be said hereupon , amounts onely to this , that , in this case , the motions of the will and appetite would not be vital actions , which cannot be forc'd , nor proceed from without , but ought to issue from the ground of that power , by wh●ch they are performed . but it may be answer'd , that the will and appetite , having receiv'd that external motion , move themselves , and produce their own , proper , immanent and vital actions , after the same manner , that a man , who is thrust forward , moves afterwards and goes of himself ; or as he who is forc'd to do something against his will : for his will is immediately shaken , by the violence that had been done him ; but at last it consents thereto , and moves it self , in order to the performance of the action . so that those external motions which the appetite and will reciprocally give and receive , one from the other , are not real passions , while those powers move not of themselves . but as there are some springs , or resorts , which immediately move upon the least touch ; in like manner , these faculties have such an aptitude to motion , that as soon as ever they have received the impression one from another , they are stirr'd , & produce real passions . not but that it happens very often , they are shaken , yet do not move themselves ; and no doubt , when the will , which would not be transported with any passion of the sensitive appetite , does nevertheless feel a sweet violence , which gives her a certain bent towards it , it may be said , that the will then suffers the impression of the motion , which it receives from the appetite ; but not that it does stirr , or that any emotion can be attributed thereto . now the difference there is between the passions , which are thus excited , consists in this , that the understanding hath an immediate sight of the object , whereby the sensitive appetite hath been moved ; but the imagination , which cannot know the object of the will , observing the motion excited by this latter in the appetite , frames to it self an object and motive conformable to that motion , and so renders the passion compleat , just as it does in dreams , in that kind of love which proceeds purely from inclination , and in those passions , which musick inspires , as we have said elswhere . for we have shewn , that , when the soul observes , in the appetite or spirits , some motion , which is proper to passion , though she be ignorant of the object , which raises that motion , frames to her self another of it , which is proportionable to that passion . hence it comes to pass , that a man , who falls asleep upon his anger , represents to himself , in his dreams , enemies and fighting , in regard the disturbance rais'd in the spirits is observ'd by the imagination , which afterwards frames to its self objects , conformable to that motion . the same thing may be said of musick , and the forementioned love of inclination ; for both of these imprint in the spirits such motions , as being like those of the passions , cause the soul , which takes notice of them , to represent to her self such objects , as are proper to those passions , and so to frame the passions themselves . however it be , this is deducible hence , that when the imagination hath felt the emotion excited by the will in the appetite , it frames to its self such an object , as is requisite , for the producing of that passion . but it is an uncertain , and confused object , which does not precisely determine it ; and therefore it many times happens , that in such a case , a man cannot give any reason why he is sad or merry , and though he be sensible of the good or evil , yet can he not specifie which it is . sect . . what is the seat and first subject of the appetite . by all we have hitherto said , it is sufficiently apparent , that the appetite is the first subject of the passions , because they are motions , and that the appetite is the only part of the soul , which moves . but as the soul is the form of the body , and the faculties have certain proper organs , wherein they reside , and where they act , we are now to examine , what part of the body it is , which serves for a seat to the appetite , and where it frames its first motions ; for this examination is necessary to our design , since we shall be ever and anon oblig'd , to speak of the place , whence the passions have their first rise . we are then in the first place to suppose , that the faculties of the soul are inseparable from its substance , and that whereever she is , they also are . but in regard that , of these , there are some , which stand in need of organs , in order to action , though they are in all places where the soul is , yet they act only in their own organs . those faculties which are spiritual , being not confin'd to matter , do not stand in need of organs , and consequently , they are , and act , in all places , where the soul is , as the understanding and will. for though the actions of the understanding are more apparent in the head , and those of the will , in the heart , then they are any where else , yet is it not to be conceiv'd , that these two parts are the organs thereof ; but , because the faculties , subservient to them , are in those places , and that we commonly attribute , to those high powers , the actions of those faculties which are subservient thereto , as we attribute to the prince , what is done by his ministers . but the case is otherwise in the corporeal faculties , for it is requisite , that they should be restrain'd to some part of the body , which serves them for a subject , and instrument , in order to the performance of their functions . and it is out of all doubt , that the sensitive and natural appetites are of that order ; but there is a great dispute among philosophers , to know , which is the proper seat of either of them . art. . what is the seat of the sensitive appetite . as to the sensitive appetite , we find by experience , that , in any passion whatsoever , the heart is troubled and mov'd , and that there are very few , how secret soever they may be , which may not be discover'd , by the beating of the arteries . the ordinary manner of speaking , nay indeed religion it self , will have it , that this part should not only be a source of all the passions , which cause any alteration in the body , but also , of all the affections and motions of the soul ; so that we may affirm it to be the seat , subject , and principal organ of the sensitive appetite . but we see further , that in insects and serpents , the parts , after separation from the heart , discover sense and motion , when they are touch'd . nay some have observ'd , that , in the more perfect animals , the members move for a certain time , after this part hath been taken away from them . and we are assur'd , by our late observations , that , before the formation of the heart and brain , there is motion and sentiment in the embryo . to be short , hunger and thirst are two sensitive appetites , and it is generally acknowledg'd , that the mouth of the stomach , and not the heart , is the real subject thereof . nay , there is no sensible part can be so slightly wounded , as not to move at the same instant , and yet it cannot be said , that the heart is the cause of that motion . and therefore , it seems probable , that the appetite ought to be whereever there is sentiment , since the sense enlightens the appetite , and that the latter cannot move without it . and thence some have imagin'd , that the brain , which is the principle of sentiment , and the organ of the imagination , should also have the same relation to the sensitive appetite . from all these observations it may be concluded , that there are two kinds of sensitive appetite ; one , which is general and common , regarding the conservation of the whole animal , such as is that which frames the ordinary passions of love , hate , &c. the other , particular and proper to every part . the first , no doubt , is plac'd in the heart , which is the spring of life , and the centre , from which do proceed all the powers , whereby the animal is govern'd . the second hath its seat in every part , as hunger and thirst , in the stomach . but considering further , that these two appetites are of one and the same nature , having the same motions , the same objects , and the same end , and that they differ one from the other , but as homogenial parts of the same whole , it is accordingly requisite , that they should have one subject , which ought also to be of the same nature ; and consequently , it is necessary , that there should be in the heart , and in every part , some organ , which may be common , in order to its being the chief subject of that faculty , which is common to them . to discover this , we are to remember , and reflect on what we said before , to wit , that all the powers of the soul are inseparable from her substance , and that , nevertheless , they do not act whereever she is , but only in certain parts . now , this cannot proceed from any thing , but the particular disposition , which those parts have , to be assistant to their actions , whether they be more proper to receive the impression of the objects , as for instance the eye , which ought to be transparent , that it might give passage to light , and the visible species , and so of the other senses ; or that they are more proper to execute the motion , which the soul ought to make ; as the muscles are the instruments of voluntary motions , in regard they consist of tendons and flesh , which are capable of contraction , without which these motions cannot be made . this presuppos'd , as a truth not to be brought into dispute , it is requisite , that the part , wherein the appetite hath its immediate residence , should be proper to the action it ought to do ; and whereas there is no other action then motion , it is also necessary , that the said part should have the dispositions proper to motion . now there is not any disposition more proper to motion then levity and rarity , and consequently , it is requisite , that the organ , and first subject of the appetite , should be of a rare and light matter , and that it should be present in all those places , where all the motions of the appetite are made . so that there not being any part , whereto this may be attributed , but only the spirits , it follows , that the appetite hath its residence in them , as its first and chiefest subject . but in regard there are two kinds of spirits in general , those that are fixt and restrain'd to some part , which are the first bonds , whereby the soul and body are joyned together ▪ and those , which are errant and unconfin'd , which distribute to all the members , the heat particularly assign'd them by the heart : it is requisite , that they should be the fixt spirits , that have the prerogative , of being the first subject of the appetite , for it is the part the most apt to motion , of any that enter into the composition of the members ; one that hath a durable and permanent consistence , as the appetite , and is without dispute animate ; it being certain , that the faculties of the soul cannot be in a subject , which is not animate . for it is not to be imagin'd , that the errant spirits , which are not only depriv'd of soul , and life , as it is commonly held , but also have not any durable subsistence , no more then the flame , which assoon as lighted is thence-forward continually decaying , can support a faculty of the soul , which is fixt and permanent , as the appetite is . whence it may be concluded , that the heart is indeed the seat of the generall appetite , but it is , by reason of the fixt spirits , which enter into its composition ; and the case is the same of every member , in reference to the particular appetite . art. . the seat of the naturall appetite . all that we have said of the sensitive appetite may be apply'd to the naturall appetite . for of this also there are two kinds ; one generall , which hath a care of the whole body , and is accordingly plac'd in the heart ; and this is the same with that which disperses the spirits and humours into all the parts , which shakes them in fevers , and makes the crises , and such like motions , which regard the whole body . the other is particular , and hath its seat in every part ; it attracts what is good for it , it drives away what is hurtfull , it causes the contraction of the fibres , the convulsion of the nerves , &c. but whereas the sensitive appetite is not plac'd in the heart and other parts , but upon the accompt of the fixt spirits , which enter into their composition , the case is the same with the naturall appetite ; they are also the same spirits , which serve it for a first subject , and first organ , upon the same grounds as they are so of the other . for since that part is the most apt to motion , of any of the vegetative soul , it should accordingly have a subject , furnished with the dispositions proper to make its motions , and there are not any other then these spirits , as we said before . i question not but some will make this objection against what hath been deliver'd , that diverse faculties require diverse organs , and that these two appetites , being different , not only in the species , but also in the genus , as belonging to several orders of the soul , cannot have for their subject the same spirits . but it is easily answer'd , since we have experience on our side , and opposite to these maximes : for the same animal spirits dispose of sentiment and motion ; the same substance of the brain becomes the subject of all the superiour powers of the sensitive soul ; and the flesh , as simple as it is , hath both the sensitive and vegetative vertue . but after all , the motion of the sensitive appetite is not different from that of the naturall appetite , as to the nature and species of motion ; it is made after the same manner in both , and all the diversity found therein is accidental , and not relating to the motion . for it proceeds only from the cause and condition of the object that moves it , which are things not relating to the motion . in the one , it is the sensitive faculty , that moves for the sensible good or evil ; in the other , the natural faculty moves , for the natural good or evil : but both move after the same manner , and frame the same passions ; as we have shewn , and consequently , there is not any inconvenience , that these two powers should have the same subject , in order to the same action . we have not any thing to add hereto , save that , according as the parts have a greater or lesser portion of these fixt spirits , they have proportionably one or the other appetite more strong and vigorous . as also , that the general appetite and particular appetite , do many times assist one the other , and many times also they act distinctly . but we shall ever and anon have occasion to hint at these matters , when we come to treat of the passions in particular . art. . how the passions are compleated . now to put a period to that which appertains to the general discourse of the passions we are to consider all the passes in the body , after the emotion of the soul , and the fixt spirits . for though the nature of every passion consists in this emotion , yet may it be said , that it is not compleat , if there be not joyn'd thereto the agitation , which the heart endures , and the alteration which is occasion'd in the whole body . we are therefore to observe , that , after the soul hath been mov'd , the heart and vital spirits follow her motion ; and if she would execute without , what she hath propos'd in her self , she at last causes the muscles to move , in the passions of the will and sensitive appetite , and the fibres , in those of the natural appetite ; in regard the muscles are the instruments of voluntary motion , as the fibres are of that which is made by the natural appetite . but how these motions are made , we shall treat more at large in the ensuing chapter . chap. iv. of the motion of the heart , and spirits , in the passions . the motion of the heart is made for the spirits , and that of the spirits , for the whole body . for the heart is mov'd in order to the production and conservation of the spirits , and these are also moved , for the communication of the vital heat to all the parts , to bring into them the aliment , whereby they are to be nourish'd , and to transport the humours from one place to another , as the soul thinks it necessary ; as it happens in the passions , as also in crises , and upon other occasions . that this may be the better comprehended , it is requisite , that we ascend to a higher disquisition of things , and since there is so much spoken of the spirits , our next examination must be , to find out , what they are , of what matter they are compos'd , and how they are framed . and indeed , it may be affirm'd , that neither philosophy nor medicine have sufficiently explain'd themselves , upon this subject , and the difficulties they have left therein give every man the liberty , to propose his conjectures , in order to the clearing up of a thing so obscure , and so intricate . art. . of the nature of the spirits . without engaging our selves upon an exact disquisition of the elements , whereof bodies are compos'd , it is a thing both certain , and sensibly acknowledg'd , that there are three sorts of parts , which enter into the composition of all mixt bodies . of those parts some are subtile , active and volatile ; others gross , passive , and heavy ; and the third are moist , as being design'd to joyn together those two so opposite extreams . for they have somewhat of the subtilty of the first , and of the grossness of the others ; and when these are resolved , the whole mixt body is destroy'd , in regard they are the cement , whereby all the parts are united together . those subtile parts are called spirits ; inasmuch as they have so little matter , and so much activity , that they seem not fit to be ranked among bodies ; and while they are united with the others , they serve for principal organs to the forms , as being the most active parts ; and they are as it were the bond , which keeps them within the body . the reason whereof is , that nature , which ever joyns the extreams by a certain mean , that hath some rapport thereto , employs the subtile parts , which have little of matter , to joyn and unite the forms , which have not any , to the grosser parts , that have much . true it is , that they may be separated , and yet be afterwards conserv'd , as we find by experience , in distillations ; for so it is , that the spirit of wine , sulphur , &c. is extracted . and being so extracted , though they lose the use they had when they were united to their natural forms , yet do they not lose any thing of their substance , or subtilty . art. . of the matter of the spirits . now as plants are nourish'd by the juices which they draw out of the earth , so have these juices their subtile and spirituous parts , as well as all the other mixt bodies : which parts , not being lost , as we said before , pass into the animals , which feed on those plants as those of the animals pass into such , as they become nourishment to . so that it is not to be doubted but that the blood is full of these subtile essences , which the natural heat afterwards digests and refines in the veins , to be made the instruments of the soul : and that they are the matter us'd by nature to frame , and entertain the vital spirits ; since subtile things are to be made of those which are of the same nature with them . art. . how the spirits are framed . but to find out the secret of all this oeconomy , we are to represent to our selves , that the blood , which is in the hollow vein , enters into the right ventricle of the heart , where it is warm'd , by the heat and motion of that part , which is the hottest of any about the body . after its being warm'd there , it issues out boyling and reeking , and enters into the lungs , where it meets with the air , attracted in by respiration , which by its coolness thickens the fumes , which it exhales from all parts , which fumes are no other then the spirituous parts , wherewith it is fill'd , and which , upon the accession of the least heat , are separated and evaporated . so that nature does , in this , what commonly happens in the distilling of aqua-vitae , in which work , there is cold water cast about the recipient , as it were , to gather together , and reduce into a body the spirits of the wine , then chang'd into vapour , and to promote their passage along with the others . thence it comes , that the vein , which carries this reeking blood into the lungs , is as big as an artery , as it were to prevent the dissipation , which might be made thereof , before it be so cooled . on the contrary , the artery which receives it , after it hath been cool'd , is as small as any vein ; there being not then any fear of dissipation . and it is not unlikely , that this is the reason , why that artery hath but two valvula , whereas the other vessels which enter into the heart have three . for as these valvulae , whatever some others may be pleased to say , were made only to prevent the impetuosity of the blood , which is to enter into the heart , and afterwards to come out of it ; so was there not any necessity that the veiny artery should have so many obstacles , to retain the impetuosity of the blood it carries , in regard it must needs have left much thereof , after it hath been cool'd , and temperated , by the air , which is in the lungs . but however it be , hence proceeds the indispensable necessity of respiration ; for if those parts of the blood , which are so reduc'd into fumes , should not be condens'd , and reassume a kind of body , they would be immediately dissipated : and whereas this must be the matter of the spirits , as being the most subtile , and most pure portion thereof , there would not be made any new generation , if nature had not found out a means to condense these vapours , by the coolness of the air , which is continually attracted by the lungs . thence it comes , that there is no possibility of continuing long without respiration , in regard that , all parts of the body standing in need of the continuall influence of the spirits , it is requisite , the heart should continually repair them , and that cannot be done without respiration , for the reason we gave before . art . an objection against the precedent doctrine answered . i know well enough that the common doctrine would have the air to enter into the composition of the spirits , and that natural heat , nay indeed fire it self , stands in need of air to moderate th●m , as not being able to conserve themselves without it ; and that this is the reason why respiration is necessary , in regard it conducts air to the heart , and moderates the excessive heat thereof . but we are taught by anatomical observations , that there is not any vessel , which conducts the air into that part , and that the veiny artery , which was heretofore conceiv'd to serve for that use , is alwaies full of blood , and does undoubtedly convey , to the heart , all that which is entered into the lungs . besides , it may be urged , that fishes have their vital spirits , though there be not any air , which may contribute to their production . true it is , they have the motion of the gills , as also of the holes , at which they sprout out the water , and that is answerable to that of the lungs , and causes the same effect , with the water , which they ever and anon attract , as the lungs do , with the air they respire . yet is there not any thing to be deduc'd hence , which may imply my not being of opinion , that the air respir'd , which is all full of these spirituous parts exhal'd by all bodies , do not furnish the vitall spirits , with some portion of themselves , which being mixt therewith passes and insinuates it self into the heart and arteries , through the pores of the vessels . hence it comes , that animals are sensible of the qualities of the air , which they respire ; and hippocrates affirms , that the most sudden nourishment is wrought by odors . but this is a thing happens by chance , and is not to be admitted into the design of nature and as to the cooling or refreshment , which is caused by the air , it is not intended to moderate the excess of the heat ; but for the reason given by us before , which is common to fire and the spirits : for the coldness of the air condenses the exhalations which should be enflam'd , it gathers them together , and hinders their rarefaction and dispersion . and therefore , when it is very cold , the fire is the more violent and scorching , in regard the matter of the flame suffers a greater contraction ; and the light of the sun diminishes the heat of the fire , in regard it rarifies and disperses the exhalation , which feeds it . not but that the air does moderate the heat of the heart , when it is violent ; but that is not the main end , at which nature aims ; it is only a slender service , and convenience , which she derives , by the by , from her principal design . but howere it be , this is certain , that after the blood , which came out of the right ventricle , hath travers'd the lungs , it is discharged into the left , where , it may be said , it is return'd into the furnace , and is stirr'd and agitated afresh , and where it s more subtile parts are so refin'd , that they acquire all the dispositions , necessary to spirits , to make them vital , and then they are endu'd with the form and vertue thereof , and assume the place and function of those , which have been distributed to the parts . art. . why the heart moves . from what hath been deliver'd , it may be inferr'd , that the motion of the heart serves for the generation of spirits ; but that that should be the principal motive , which oblig'd nature to give it that motion , is what cannot be easily affirm'd . for , in a word , all animals have those sorts of spirits , but all have not that motion ; so that this may be stood upon , that it is not absolutely necessary to their generation . for my part , i am of opinion , that , in this , nature had a greater regard to the conservation of the spirits , then to their production for whereas chings are conserv'd by that which is conformable and natural thereto , and that motion is natural to the spirits , which are of a fiery nature , and proportion'd to the element of the stars , as aristotle speaks ; it is accordingly requisite , that they should be in perpetual motion , as those bodies are . and in effect , we cannot stop the motion of fire without quenching it , and all those things , which hinder the spirits from moving , as narcoticks , and fulness , deprave them , and destroy the animal . it therefore concern'd the providence of nature to find out some artifice , whereby the vital spirits should be continually stirr'd , to the end they might be conserv'd by that which is most proper and natural to them . and there could not be a more commodious way found , then the motion of the heart and arteries , which ever and anon excites and awakens the spirits , which are intermix'd with the blood . for that humour being gross and heavy , there would have been some danger of its smothering them by its weight , if that miraculous ressort , which gives a continual motion to the arterial blood , should not hinder that disorder . hence it comes , that the arteries alwayes accompany the greater veins , that their agitation might excite the spi●its , which are mixt with the blood ; the lesser veins standing not in need of that attendance , by reason of the small quantity of humour which they contain , as such as is not capable of hindring their motion . and in those animals , which have no blood , that motion is neither so sensible nor so necessary , in regard the humours there are more subtile , and for the most part are only serosities , which are in a more easie subjection to the spirits . it was therefore the principal intention of nature , to bestow motion on the heart , in order to the conservation of the spirits ; yet with this precaution , that it hinder not , but that she may employ it to other uses . for , as a frugal and provident housewife , she makes that which is necessary to her main design , to be subservient also to other conveniences , which , were it not for that , she might have been without : upon this account is it , that she employes the motion of the heart , to subtilize the matter of the spirits , to force away the impurities that are therein , to moderate the heat thereof , which might become excessive , and to force the spirits to the extremities of the arteries , so to disperse the heat and vital vertue into all parts . now of all these employments there are certain advantages , yet are they not absolutely necessary , since all this is done in many animals , without any motion of the heart . art. . that the spirits are moved for three ends . to resume our discourse of the motion of the spirits , we said before , that it was design'd for the communication of the vital heat to all the parts , to convey into them the blood , whereby they are to be nourish'd , and to translate the humours from one place to another , as it happens in the passions , in crises , and upon such other occasions . as to the first it will be no hard matter to prove it ; for it is generally acknowledg'd , and sense and reason teach us , that all the heat and vigour of the parts proceeds from the vital spirits , which are produced by the heart , and as soon as this influence ceases , they become cold and languishing . art. . that the spirits convey the blood into the parts . but for the conveyance of the blood into the several parts , there are not any philosophers that have made it the employment of the spirits , but it is generally attributed by them , either to the impulsion which it receives from the beating of the heart , or to some attractive vertue , which draws it forth into every part . it is therefore requisite we make it appear , that these opinions cannot be maintain'd , and that it is the proper work of the spirits , to dispose it into the veins . for there is a necessity , that it should be either forc'd out , or attracted , or convey'd ; so that when it shall have been shewn , that there is not any thing whereby it is either forc'd out , or attracted , it will follow , that there must be something to convey it , and that only the spirits can be capable of the employment . most of those , who maintain the circulation of the blood , do not admit of the spirits , at least as bodies distinct from the blood , and affi●m , that it is not mov'd in the veins , but only by the impulsion which it receives from the beating of the heart , and that it admits not of any motion , but that which proceeds from the effort of that part . we shall not make it our business to oppose this circulation , and , though it be accompany'd with great difficulties , yet may it nevertheless be affirmed that it is true , and that it is effectually wrought , though haply not after the same manner , as is held by the maintainers thereof . it is sufficient , for the prosecution of our design , to shew , that the beating of the heart is not the cause of the blood's motion , especially that which comes into the veins . for , that done , it will be easie to make it appear , that they are only the spirits , which can transport it to the places whither it goes , and consequenlty , that they are bodies distinct from the humours , which follow the motions of the soul , and not that of the heart , and may be mov'd by an agitation different from that of the latter . art. . the heating of the heart forces not the blood into all the parts . it being suppos'd then , as the patrons of this opinion would have it , that the heart , by a certain compression , or contraction of it self , drives out , into the arteries , the blood , which it hath receiv'd into its ventricles , and that , by the violence of that motion , it forces it even to their extremities , so to make its passage into the small veins which are near them , and thence into the hollow vein , and at last to the heart , whence it afterwards passes back again into the arteries , and then into the veins , perpetually running out of one into another , by a continuall circulation : this , i say , being s●ppos'd , it might be said , that there is some probability , that this impulsion , which it receives from the heart , may cause it to flow along into the arteries , but it can never be conceiv'd , how this impulsion should be continu'd even into the veins , after that its force hath been check'd and broken , by so many windings , and so many obstructions which the blood must needs meet with in its way . what! it shall open the mo●ths of the vessels ; it shall force its passage through the fleshy parts , as they pretend ; it shall surmount the impressions which the air and other external causes every moment make in the parts ; and after all this , by vertue of that first impulsion , it shall reascend to the heart with the same agility that it descended thence ? but this is a thing cannot enter into a man's imagination . i am content , that , as it passes through the small vessels , the compression it suffers therein may continue the impetuosity of its motion ; but that it should be so when it flows into the greater veins , and the spaciousness of their channels gives it more liberty , is a thing which cannot be affirm'd , without a defiance of experience and reason ; and there is a necessity , it should have the same fate , as rivers and torrents , which , flowing out of a narrow into a broad channel , abate much of the impetuosity of their course . and certainly , if the beating of the heart and arteries causes the blood to be thus moved , nature hath forgot her self extreamly , that she gave not the same agitation to the veins , especially those in the lower parts , where the blood is more gross and heavy , and hath so great a way to get up to the heart . for there it is , that the cause and instruments of this miraculous transportation ought to be the more powerful , having a greater and heavier weight to conduct , nay indeed to force upward , then is the arterial blood , which is more subtile , more susceptible of motion , and , at that time , only descends downwards . it may then be conceiv'd , that those , who first advanc'd this opinion , never consider'd , that fluid bodies cannot long conserve the vertue and impulsion , if it be not extreamly strong , and that that which is made in the heart is too weak , to maintain the motion of the blood in so long a course , and through so many obstacles ; that if it were forc'd out , as they pretend , it would so much swell the veins , that they would alwayes seem full and stretch'd out , especially when it should be forc'd to ascend : and , in fine , that , opening the veins , it should issue out by certain sallies and reiterations , as that which comes out of the arteries , since it is the same impulsion that makes both move , and that we find in water-engines , that the water alwayes flows proportionably to the violent shocks it received at the entrance of its channell . but why should there be imagin'd in the veins a motion of the blood , different , not only from that which is made in the bones , into the depth whereof it penetrates , in order to their nourishment , but also from that which conveys the sap of plants to all their parts ? for this sap , and the blood , we speak of , is the last aliment , whereby they are sustein'd , and therefore it is but one and the same faculty , that hath the direction and conveyance thereof ; and nature , who loves uniformity in all her operations , will not easily change this , since it may , and ought to be performed , after the same manner . moreover , if the impulsion be the only cause of the motion of the blood , it must be also the same of all the natural motions , whereby it is agitated . and yet that transportation of the humours , which nature makes in crises , and the regularity punctually observ'd by her , when she conveys them from one place to another , depends on another principle . for the violence done in the heart , ought to be equally communicated to all the vessels , and cannot determine the blood to flow towards one part rather then another . how shall it then cause it to ascend to the left nostril , in inflammations of the spleen , rather then to the right ? shall it be also the impulsion that shall force choler to the intestines , in fluxes without inflammation ? and convey the serosities to the skin , in critical sweats ? for all these sorts of motions proceed from nature , and are made , or at least begun in the veins , though the beating and impulsion of the heart and arteries contribute nothing thereto . to conclude , since nature multiplies not the ways of acting , in those operations , which are of the same kind it is necessary , that she cause the blood to ascend by the same vertue , whereby she causes the chylus to do so , making it to pass out of the intestines into the vessels , and afterwards conducting it , to those places , where it is necessary . now , i do not think there is any body will affirm , that the beating of the heart contributes ought to this motion , as having no communication with the intestines , at least so great as to force the chylus upwards ; and consequently , it may be said , that the blood is no more mov'd then it , by that impulsion . we must therefore find out some other cause then that , whereto we may referr not only the ordinary transportation of the blood , and all its other motions , which , though they seem extraordinary , are nevertheless natural thereto , as those which happen in the passions ; but also those of the chylus , and the other humours which are mov'd in the body . now after we have throughly examin'd all the ressorts and instruments which nature may make use of , to that purpose , it will be found , that she cannot employ any other then the spirits . art. . that the blood is not attracted by the fibres . we shall not here bring any thing upon the stage , concerning attraction , though it were the only means , whereby the antients were of opinion , that the motion of the blood was to be wrought , inasmuch as it is an imaginary motion , which opposes reason and experience . nor indeed can it be conceiv'd to be done but two wayes , to wit , either by some boay , which , touching the blood , brings and draws it to it , or by some magnetick vertue , which may be in the parts , and spreading it self into the vessels , seizes on , and drags it towards them , much after the same manner , as the quality of the loadstone draws iron , and causes it to approach it . and these two wayes of attraction have bred two opinions , which ever since the birth of medicine , even to the present age , have been follow'd by some or other . for some have imagin'd that the streight fibres ; which enter into the structure of the veins , had the power of attraction , and that it was by their means the blood was convey'd to the several parts . but they never consider'd , that when some body is to attract a fluid and slippery thing , there is a necessity it should touch it , that it should seize on it , and retain it in all its parts ; otherwise those which shall be at liberty will escape , and will not be attracted . of this we have an experiment , when we would take any liquor with our hand ; for those parts which shall not be comprehended within the hand will get away and not be gather'd in with the rest . now it is certain that the fibres touch only the superficies of the humour which is in the vein , and so whatsoever is in the bottome of the vessel will slip away , notwithstanding all their endeavour to retain it . to this we may add , that the fibres have no other way of attraction , then by straining and compressing the veins ; and if so , then would the senses perceive something of that motion , as they do of that of the intestines , which is made after that manner . whence it follows , that , since we do not see any sign thereof , how strong soever that contraction and compression of the veins might be , for the making of that motion , there is just ground to imagine , that it is not made after that manner . but what absolutely decides this question , is , that the aliment of plants is convey'd by their channels after the same manner , and by the same vertue as the blood may be in animals , and yet their fibres suffer no such contraction as is imagin'd in the veins . it is requisite therefore , that we find out some other means , whereby the moisture , which nourishes them , may ascend into the branches , and withall such as may be found also in animals , to convey the blood into all the parts . i add further , that the bones attract ( as the common expression hath it ) their nourish●●nt , without any assistance of the fibres , and that sometimes the blood is so violently mov'd in the passions , that this pretended motion of the fibres cannot be any way answerable to that swiftness , as being made but slowly , and by successive contractions , which require much time , in so long a transportation and conveyance , as that of the blood is . art. . that the blood is not attracted by any magnetick vertue . as to the other opinion , which admits a magnetick vertue , though it hath been more generally receiv'd , yet is it not confirm'd by any other reason then the weakness of the precedent , and the impossibility it imagin'd to it self , of finding any other means then these two to make the blood flow into the veins . so that it is maintain'd only upon the accompt of certain examples and instances , as that of the loadstone , which draws iron to it , and those of some purgative medicines , which attrract the humours , and some others of the like kind . but this is a very weak proof , and such as the very ground thereof is of little certainty ; since we pretend to make it apparent , that neither the loadstone , nor purgatives , nor any other thing whatsoever , have any attractive vertue . but whether it be maintainable or not , the patrons of this opinion ought to suppose , as they have done , that this vertue is in every particular part , since there is not any but does , as they affirm , attract blood for its nourishment . the case being thus laid down , they may be asked , whether all parts have this vertue equally or not ? for if it be equal in all , there being superiour and inferiour parts , it is impossible the blood should march up into the superiour parts , in regard the inferiour have as powerful an attraction as the other ; there being no reason , why they should follow the impression of the one rather then that of the other . on the other side , if there be any parts have this vertue in a higher degree then others , they will attract all the blood to themselves , and that just distribution , which ought to be made thereof all over the body , will never be perfected and compleated , since it must needs be obstructed , where that magnetick vertue is most vigorous . for , to explain it by the example , it must be done in the same manner , as is observ'd in the iron , which being plac'd near several loadstones will alwayes make towards that which is most attractive . besides , if it be true , that the influence of natural vertues is performed by direct lines . how is it to be imagin'd , that the attractive vertue shall observe that regularity in the innumerable turnings and windings of the veins and arteries ? what intermixture , or , to say better , what confusion will there not be in the vessels , wherein every part will spread its magnetick vertue ? to conclude , if the conformity of substance be the ground-work of this attraction , as is affirm'd by the maintainers of the foresaid opinion , how is it to be conceiv'd , that the blood , which is alter'd and corrupted , shall be able to flow into the veins ? by what means shall the mineral waters , which admit not coction , and are incapable of receiving the form of blood , be able to pass wholly pure into the vessels ? what conformity or sympathy can we imagine between all these substances , which are so different among themselves , and the liver , or the heart , or any other part , which attracts them to it self ? and lastly , why should the blood ever go out of the body , since that quality attracts it inwards , and that it should be like the powder of steel , which the loadstone holds fast and suffers not to fall ? art. . that there are not any attractive vertues . but i shall proceed further , and affirm , that it is an errour to imagine , there are , in nature , any of these attractive vertues ; she acknowledges not any other then that which is wrought by the motion of the body , and so all those things which are said to be attracted by these qualities , are mov'd by another kind of motion , then that of attraction . and indeed , who can easily conceive , that a simple quality should be able so of a sudden , and so powerfully to offer violence , to things solid and weighty ? what motion can have an incorporeal vertue , to go , and find out , and bring away massy bodies ? how is it to be apprehended , that , contrary to all other qualities , which advance forward , this only should return back ? would there not be a necessity , that , while it brings back the bodies , which it draws after it , it should quit the space where it found them , which yet continues still full of the same quality ? true it is , and must be acknowledg'd , that the loadstone hath a magnetick vertue , which it diffuses out of it self . but this vertue is not attractive , it only causes in the iron a certain feeling of its presence , and thereupon , the iron makes towards it of it self , as it is in like manner inclin'd towards the iron . for if they be both set on the water , so as that they may freely swim on it , they will approach one another , if they be of equal force ; and if the iron be the more weighty , or that it be stopp'd , the loadstone only will move towards it . so that it is clear they draw one another no otherwise , then as it is said the sun draws the vapours , which , by reason of their lightness , ascend of themselves , after they have felt the heat . art. . that there is not any attractive vertue in purgative medicines . nor is it by attraction that purgative medicaments do operate . for , of these , these are some , which cause vomiting , being apply'd to the soals of the feet , and other inferiour parts ; then which there cannot be a more certain argument of their not attracting the humours , since that , instead of obliging them to come to themselves , they cause them to make a contrary motion . besides , the purgative vertue , being a natural faculty , should attract the humours which are conformable and consonant to it self , in what subject soever they are found ; whereas , far from that , it attracts them not at all in bodies which are weak or depriv'd of life . and indeed those , who have more exactly examin'd the manner how purgation is wrought , have shewn , that purgatives have no other vertue then that of dissolving and separating the humours , as the rennet does the parts of the milk ; and that the separation being made . nature , being incens'd thereat , expels and drives them out ; so that the evacuation thereof is wrought , not by attraction , but impulsion . art. . that grief and heat are not attractive . there are yet others who affirm , that grief and heat are attractive ; but they are only the spirits , which nature sends with the blood , into the parts , for their support and assistance : and this is no true attraction , no more then that which is made by a vacuum . for a privation , which , in effect , is nothing , cannot have any vertue . but in this case , the bodies put themselves forward , to prevent a disorder , which nature cannot bear withall . there are not therefore any attractive vertues , and consequently , we are not to look for any in animals , in order to the causing of any conveyance of the blood into the veins . but there remains this yet to be urg'd , to the particular in dispute , that it is true , the blood is not attracted , but that it moves of it self , as does the iron , which is sensible of the magnetick vertue of the loadstone , and that having in like manner a certain feeling of the sympathetical vertue , inspir'd by the parts , it is , of it self , inclin'd towards them . it must be acknowledg'd this expedient would do pretty well , if this sympathetical vertue could be well establish'd . but how shall we imagine it can subsist in such different subjects , as plants and animals are , or members of a different constitution and temperament , such as are those of sound and unsound or diseas'd parts ? nay , though it should be granted in them , what allyance can there be imagin'd between that vertue , and the blood , which is often alter'd or corrupted ; between it , and the mineral waters which are drunk ; in fine , between it , and the poisons , which are dispers'd all over the body ? nay , when all is done , neither this means , nor any of the others that have been propos'd , doth satisfie the regularity which nature observes in the motions of the blood , nor most of the agitations it suffers in the passions of the soul ; nor yet the transportation of the chylus and other humours , which is wrought in the body : so that there is a necessity of having recourse to the spirits , as the general cause of all these effects . and certainly , whereas the blood moves not of it self , and that whatsoever is mov'd by another must be either forc'd , or attracted , or inclin'd ; neither impulsion nor attraction having any place here , it is accordingly necessary , that some body , which hath the vertue of moving it self , should combine with it , and convey it whereever it goes . now , since we know that the spirits are the chief instrmments of the soul , sent by nature to all the parts , to dispose them to action , mixt by her with the blood to render it fluid , and which she insinuates even into the humours against nature , as well to concoct , as force them away ; there is no question to be made , of their being the transporters of the moisture which is in the vessels , since they are beforehand in them to keep them fluid , and that there are not any other substances , which may be mixt with them , to convey them to the places , whereto they ought to go ▪ and consequently , that they are bodies most susceptible of motion , which , being animated , or immediately mov'd by the soul , are the only instruments that can move the blood , in all the differences of situation , which we observe therein . art. . that the blood is convey'd to the parts only by the spirits . from what hath been deliver'd , it is apparent , that in the ordinary course of the blood , the spirits are the only instruments , which cause it to ascend without trouble , descend without precipitation , and direct and convey it into all the parts , nay even to the depth of the bones , for their nourishment . by the same spirits it is diversly stirr'd in the passions , according to the different designs , which the soul proposes to her self ; they convey it to the wounded parts to relieve them , and confine it to an exact observance of that rectitude and regularity which is remarkable in all its motions . in a word , nature is the principle and source of all these operations , and that nature is no other then the soul and her faculties , all which stand in need of organs , in order to their action , and can have no other then the spirits , whereto all these effects may be referred . they are therefore intermixt with the blood ; and as the air , being stirr'd , carries along with it the vapours that are got into it ; or as the exhalations of the earth raise up the matters that are join'd with them ; so the spirits , having receiv'd the motion and direction of the soul , carry away the blood and humours to all those places which they have orders to convey them . for it is not to be doubted , but that an oeconomy so just , and so regular in the variety of its operations , is guided and govern'd by some power which hath a preheminence above the elementary , vertues , and participates of that secret intelligence , which god hath been pleas'd to entrust the soul withall , for the conservation of the animal . it is therefore she alone that causes the spirits to move , and gives them orders for the conduct of the humours . sect . of the animation of the spirits . the difficulty now remaining is , to know , how the soul causes the spirits to move ; whether it be , as instruments , separated from the body , or as organs , animated by her . in a word , the question is , to know whether they are animated or not . the common opinion is for the negative , and maintains , that they are only distinct instruments , which communicate the vertue of the soul to the parts , and are themselves guided by the direction they receive from her , as the arrow , which is shot by the archer , and flies towards the mark , at which he took his aim . but if we consider this direction a little more narrowly , as also the manner whereby it may be made , we shall find all this to amount to no more then fair words , which do not explain the thing , but leave in the mind a thousand difficulties inducing it to affirm the contrary . now , if this motion and direction ought to be given to the spirits , as to distinct instruments , it is necessary it should be done in the heart , which is the place where they have their birth , and from which they derive all their force and vertue . nay , it is further requisite , that the whole mass of spirits , which issue thence , should receive the same impression , in asmuch as they are not divided one from the other . if it be so , this question will arise , how it comes to pass , that some of them go to one place rather then another ? as also these others , how comes it , that in one passion they are directed to the forehead , as in love ? how in another to the eyes , as in anger ? how in others , to the lower part of the cheeks , and the ears , as in shame ? how happens there a greater confluence of them on the ind●spos'd parts , then on those which are sound and well ? for as in the springs , the impetuosity of the water is equally communicated , to all the channels or rivulets , and that the art of the designer cannot make the water flow into one rather then another , if they be all equally open ; so can it not be conceiv'd , that the spirits should rather go to one part then another , since the several branches of the arteries , through which they are to flow , are all equally open . moreover , he who shall consider , how that , in anger , they choose out the venome , which is in the veins , that it may be convey'd to the teeth of animals ; how that in diseases , they discern the humours , from which they have proceeded , to the end they might be forc'd out ; will easily find , that there is not any direction of the soul , which can satisfie all these effects , and there is requisite a vital knowledge and discernment , such as cannot proceed from any other then an animated instrument . for if any should affirm , that the soul makes this discernment and choice , there will follow a necessity , that she should be mixt with those humours , that so she may be able to separate them , and they will be forc'd to acknowledge , that the soul is in those humours , which will be a far greater inconvenience then to maintain the animation of the spirits . now , we have already shewn , that it is by their means these motions are wrought . we may adde further , that the direction of things forc'd or thrust forward does only regulate their motion towards the mark , whereto they are to tend ; it does not diminish ought of the impetuosity which hath been imprinted on them and it is necessary their motion should persist to the end , with all the force the mover hath given them . and yet the spirits go many times to other places , then those whereto the soul had ordered them to repair , when they receiv'd her first impulsion ; and sometimes , in their course , they move more vigorously , or more faintly , then the impetuosity they had receiv'd might require . for example , in shame , they have order to spread the blood over the whole face , as it were to cover and conceal the soul from the infamy ready to fall on her : and yet they cast themselves on the extremities of the eares , and the lower part of the cheeks , contrary to her first design . many times they begin a crisis of sweats , which they end by urins , and some times they grow faint and retreat , in the conflict wherein nature had engag'd them . it may be more closely urg'd , that the soul does not only cause the spirits to advance , but she also makes them retreat ; she dilates them , and contracts them . and if so , what shall this pretended direction do upon all these occasions ? how shall it cause them to rally about the heart , when they have straggled from it ? there must then be suppos'd some attractive vertue , whose work it shall be to seize on them at the extremities of the body , and bring them back to their first rendezvous . but we have made it clear , that this vertue is but an imaginary one , and that , however the case stands , there must be some subject to convey it to the place , where it ought to do its operation ; which is not to be imagin'd . there is yet a greater difficulty , in assigning the manner , how the soul is able to dilate and contract them , when they are at some distance from the heart . for there is not in nature any impulsion or direction whereby these motions may be communicated . there is is only heat and cold that can do it ; and whereas these qualities require a considerable time , for the performance of their action , it follows that they cannot be causes of that dilatation and contraction of the spirits , which are wrought of a sudden . adde to this , that there is a necessity , the soul should send these qualities into the vessels , to produce that effect ; and that in fear , for example , she should cause cold to rise , to make a contraction of the spirits ; which can neither be said , nor imagin'd , without absurdity . for if the cold be discover'd in some passions , it is not a cause of the contraction of the spirits , but the effect of it . in fine , it is generally acknowledg'd , by all the great masters of medicine , that the vital , sensitive , and motive faculties are convey'd to the parts by the spirits . and experience confirms this truth , in asmuch as life , motion , and sentiment cease in them , when they have not a free passage into them . how can this be done , unless they be animate ? for the faculties of the soul are not separated from her . some indeed have maintain'd , that they convey'd not the faculties , but only a certain quality , which put them into the exercise , and without which they could not act . but they do not make it out , of what nature that quality is , and there is no great probability , that one single quality should relate to so many different faculties and functions . but how ere it be , the greatest philosophers , who have examin'd these matters to the bottome , have found themselves so much at a loss , to give a reason of the motion of the spirits , according to the common opinion ; have ingenuously acknowledg'd , that it is one of the hardest things to comprehend of any in nature ; and all they have said thereof hath neither satisfy'd themselves , nor those who would have follow'd their sentiments . what inconvenience then is there , in maintaining , that the spirits are animate , since that position takes away the difficulties which arise in others , and that there is a necessity , the organs , which act with so much discernment , and move in all situations , and perform so many different actions , should have in themselves a principle of life ? art . objections answered . all this presuppos'd , there remain yet two things which hold the mind in suspence , and keep it from giving an absolute consent to this truth . one is , that there is no likelihood , that bodies , which are in perpetual motion , and disperse themselves every moment , can be animate . the other , that life , which ought to be common to all the parts , cannot be found in those that are separated from their whole ; and that the spirits are of that rank , as having not any union or continuity with the solid parts . as to the former , it is not certain , that they alwaies disperse themselves , so suddenly as is affirm'd ▪ those spirits , which conduct the blood through the veins , are conserv'd a long time , and make the same circulation as the other doth ; and it is frequently observ'd , that after they have apply'd themselves to some part , and there acted , according to the orders of the soul , they fall back , and return to their source . but be it granted that they should so disperse themselves , why may they not be nevertheless animate ? the long continuance is not a disposition necessary to life , and there are some parts , as the softest pieces of the flesh , which , in a short time after they have been animated , may be resolv'd and dispers'd by a violent heat . as soon as the spirits have acquir'd the dispositions necessary for their being instruments of the soul , she insinuates her self among them , and animates them . when they are dispers'd , or have lost the continuity which they ought to have with their principle , she leaves them , after the same manner , as she does other parts that are separated from the body . but what ! can the soul animate such a simple and homogenious body as the spirits are ? why not , since she animates the radical moisture , the flesh , the fibres , and all the other similar parts ? when it is said , that the soul requires an organical body , it is meant of the whole body , which she is to animate , and not of its parts , which ought to be simple . nay , indeed there was a necessity , that , as most of these parts are fixt and solid , so there should be some apt to motion and subtile , to perform the severall functions , for which it is design'd ; and since the soul is alwaies in action , it was requisite she had an organ that should continually move . art. . the union between the spirits and the parts . as concerning the union there is between the spirits and the other parts , there is no doubt to be made of it , since the least interruption that happens therein causes an immediate cessation of the actions of life . for hence proceed faintings and swoundings , and syncopes , in the excess of joy and grief , the spirits being forc'd with such impetuosity , that they lose the continuity , which they ought to have with the heart . hence also proceed apoplexies , by the interception of the veins , as hippocrates speaks , the matters which are therein contained obstructing the fluxion of the spirits , and interrupting the union which was between them and the others . but with what can they be united so as to participate of the union which is common to the whole body ? it is no doubt with the spirituous parts , which enter into the composition of the heart : it is with the fixt spirits , which are of the same nature with them . and 't is possible this may be the end for which the beating of the heart serves . for by the agitation it gives them , it makes them penetrate one into another , it binds , and soders , and cements them together , if we may use such expressions of things so subtile . art. . how the foresaid union is consistent with the intermixture of the spirits , with the blood and humours . all that is now left to give occasion of doubt , is , that the spirits are intermixt with the blood and humours , and that it is a hard matter to comprehend , how , in this intermixture , they can conserve the union which ought to be between them . but to take away this , we are only to represent to our selves the light which passes through the clouds , for it hath certain beams , which cannot pass through them , and those that make their way through , appear at certain distances one from another , yet so as that not any one of them loses the continuity which it hath with the luminous body . or , not to go out of the order of bodies , the case is the same , as in those exhalations , which are intermixt with the air ; they have several lines which are diffus'd of all sides , but those lines have commonly a continuity with the matter , from which the exhalation proceeds . the same thing is to be imagin'd in the spirits ; for they issue out of the heart as a mass of beams and spirituous lines , which scatter themselves on all sides , and penetrate into the humours , yet without any division from their principle and this is the more easily imagin'd , in that , besides the difficulty which things of the same nature find to be separated one from the other , the soul , who knows , that this interpretation of the spirits must cause a cessation of all actions , does all that lies in her power to pr●vent it . but whether the spirits be animate or not , certain it is that they move , and that it is the soul which gives them their motion . for though it may be said that they derive their agitations in the passions from the heart , by reason it opens , shuts , dilates and contracts it self , as they do , and that it is most likely , that it , being the principle both of life and the spirits themselves , should also be the same principle of a●l their motions : yet we know by experience , that there are many passions rais'd in the soul , so as that there can be no change observ'd in the beating of the heart and arteries , though no doubt but the spirits are therein agitated . and indeed they are bodies so light , and susceptible of motion , that the least agitation of the soul must needs stirr them . which thing cannot be said of the heart , which is massy and heavy of it self , and hath a function so necessary to life , that it ought not , without great necessity , or a great effort , to interrupt or disturb it . in light passions therefore the spirits only are agitated and stirr'd ; but when they become strong , not only the spirits , but the heart also follows the emotion and disturbance of the soul. sect . . why the heart and spirits move in the passions . but what end does the soul propose to her self in all these motions ? what advantages can she receive thereby ? it is not to be doubted , but that as she hath a design to be united to the good , and to shun or oppose the evil , so does she imploy these organs to attain those ends , and believes , that the motions she puts them upon are absolutely necessary thereto . and it is true , there are some which produce the effect she expects from them ; but there are also some , that contribute nothing to the obtaining of her desires . for example , when , in anger , the spirits separate the venome and the choler , and convey them into the teeth and tusks of animals , it is certain , they are so many offensive arms fit to assault and destroy the enemy . when , in love , and joy , the spirits stirr the purest and gentlest part of the blood , that is conformable to the condition the soul is in , which then requires only agreeable objects , & would not be disturbed by the agitation of choler and melancholy , which are troublesome and malignant humours . and so it may be affirm'd , that , in all the other passions , the spirits are put upon such motions as are conducible to the designs of the soul , as we shall make it appear , when we come to discourse of every one of them in particular . but , for one of this nature , there are a thousand others which are no way advantageous , and which rather serve to discover the precipitation and blindness the soul is in , then to obtain what she proposes to her self . for , that the heart opens and dilates it self in love and joy , that it shuts and contracts it self in fear and sadness : that the spirits should diffuse themselves , and issue out in the former , and that they should retreat and draw up together , in the latter ; all this contributes nothing towards the attainment of her end . i know , her persuasion is , that opening the heart , she makes a freer passage for the good to enter in ; that , shutting it , she excludes the evil ; that , commanding the spirits to march out , she imagines , that she comes neerer the objects , and ordering them to retreat to the heart , she is at so much the greater distance from them . but the troth on 't is , that neither good nor evil enter into the heart ; and the motion of the spirits causes not a greater or a lesser distance between the soul and them , then there was before . for , it being acknowledg'd , that she is spread over the whole body , she is already where the spirits conduct her , and quits not those places , from which they endeavour to remove her . yet are we not much to wonder at the errour she falls into upon those occasions ; for having not an exact knowledge of all things that concern her , she is surpris'd , by the unexpected arrival of the good and evil , which present themselves to her , and in the distraction they put her into , she does all that lies in her power , she bestirs her self , and sets her organs in motion , according to the aim she takes ; and , among many things which contribute to her design , she does an hundred others , that are of no advantage thereto , nay may be prejudicial . in the actions which are ordinary to her , and have been ascrib'd her by nature , she is very seldom deceived ; for she regularly commands the spirits into the parts , to inspire them with vital heat , to supply them with the blood whereby they are to be nourish'd , to make the evacuations which are necessary ; it being the instinct which guids her , and justly appoints her what she ought to do . but when this assistance fails her , she does as a man who punctually executes what he finds in his instructions , but is extreamly at a loss , when he is to do something which he finds not in his papers . he then regulates himself , according to what he had done before upon the like occasions , and being in hast , he hazards the success of the affair , which sometimes comes to a good period , but most commonly happens otherwise then the man had imagin'd , the case is the same with the soul , when good and evil surprise her . for she , not finding , in the instructions of the instinct , what she ought to do , upon such occasions , proceeds according to her ordinary manner of action ; she causes the spirits to advance forwards or retreat , as she is wont to do , in the necessary actions of life ; and considering the precipitation she is in , and the little knowledg she hath , she has neither the time nor discernment , to see whether they will be advantageous or disadvantageous to her design . sect . . what faculty it is that moves the spirits . it is therefore manifest , that the soul causes the spirits to move , to the end they should communicate the vital heat to all the parts , that they should supply them with the blood , whereby they are to be nourish'd , and that they should transport the humours from one place to another , when she thinks it necessary , as it happens in the passions , in crises , and others . the question now is , to know , what part of the soul gives them their motions , whether the vegetative or the sensitive ? as to the distribution of the vital heat , and aliment , as also , for the transportation of the humours in diseases , it is most certain , that the vegetative soul is the principle of all these actions . but the difficulty still remains , concerning the motions of the spirits in passions . for , on the one side , it seems , that the sensitive soul ought to move them , since she it is that excites the passions , that they move in effect , with a respect to the sensible good and evil , and that they propose to themselves the same end as she does . on the other side , the motions of the sensitive soul are voluntary , and may , or may not , be made , at the pleasure of the animal , as may be seen in the motion of the members . in the mean time , that which the spirits suffer is necessarily made , and the soul can neither excite nor hinder it , when she pleases . so that it seems , that belongs to the jurisdiction of the vegetative soul , and that in the association there is between the faculties , and the mutual assistance they give each other , this latter is joyn'd with the sensitive , to promote its possession of the good , or recession from the evil , which presents it self to her . notwithstanding these last reasons , whereto it is no hard matter to answer , we must stick to the former , which prove , that it is the sensitive soul that causes the spirits to move in the passions . true it is , that the motions of the vegetative are many times joyn'd with hers , as we find by experience , in extraordinary griefs : but it is , when the good and evil are considerable , and make so deep an impression , that they force their way quite to her : for when they are light , she is not mov'd thereat , and leaves the sensitive part to act alone , which yet fails not to stir the spirits . in effect , they are the general organs of all the functions of the soul , and all the faculties , what order soever they are of , equally employ them in their service . they are serviceable as to life , sentiment , motion , nay reason it self , and in the highest meditations , they are stirr'd , as well as in natural actions . they are like an instrument , whereof divers artizans make use , in several works . for as the same pair of compasses , wherewith a mason hath taken his measures , serves the geometrician , to draw his figures ; and the astronomer , to measure the heavens and the stars . so the spirits , which have serv'd the natural faculty , for the meanest actions of life , are employ'd , by the sensitive soul , in the animal functions , and the understanding it self makes use of them , in operations of the highest consequence . but what ! their motion is not free in the passions , as it might seem it ought to be , if the sensitive appetite were director thereof , as it is of voluntary motions . it matters not , since even the animal spirits , which flow through the nerves , to make those motions , and no doubt are mov'd by the sensitive appetite , have not their motion more free , then that which is made in the veins and arteries . the necessity of motion is many times found in the sensitive faculty , as well as in the natural ; and though the muscles be the organs of free motion , yet we find , that respiration , which is wrought by their means , is necessary ; that the motion of the heart , which is as it were a composure of several muscles , and receives a nerve from the brain , to give it sentiment and motion , is not to be ranked among those that are voluntary . nay the will it self , notwithstanding that soveraign liberty which it hath , is not free in its first sallies , and what time soever it may take to consider of the good and evil , yet is it not in its power , to hate the good , and love the evil. whence then proceeds this diversity ? doubtless from the instinct , which is a law that forces the soul to do what it commands for the welfare of the animal . it is this law that guids all the actions of the natural faculty , that assigns the sensitive soul the motions which she ought to make , not only those that are not to be balked , as those of the heart and lungs , and those of the animal spirits ; but also all those that are done casually , wherein the knowledge of the senses is of no advantage . for though the motion of the spirits in the passions be not made precisely by it , yet does the soul cause them to do it , according to the coppy which the instinct gives her upon other occasions , as we have shewn elswhere . art. . of what kind the motion of the heart and spirits is in the other passions . thus far as to what concerns the motion of the heart and spirits in the passions of the sensitive appetite ; we now come to examine , whether it be performed after the manner , in those of the will and natural appetite . we may in the first place affirm , that there are many passions rais'd in the will , so as that neither the heart , nor spirits are thereby stirr'd , in regard it is a spiritual faculty , which may act of it self without the assistance of any organ . but it is to be observ'd , that they must be very slight ones ; for when they come to be of any force , they fail not both of them to be mov'd thereby , as well as in the passions of the sensitive appetite . not but that the will , consider'd in it self , might be able alone , to excite the most violent passions , as we know it does in angels . but in man , in whom there is an union between the corporeal and spiritual faculties , it is impossible , but that one must assist and relieve the other , when any considerable good or evil presents it self to either of them . which happens either hence , that there is a necessary communication of their motions one to the other , as we have declared ; or that the soul , upon such occasions ; is distrustful of her own strength , and would rally together all the forces she hath . thence it comes , that she thinks it not enough to move the sensitive appetite , in extraordinary griefs , to shun the evil that presses hard upon her , but she also excites sadness , in the superiour part , in order to the same design : and as if all that were not sufficient , she many times raises a fever in the natural faculty , to force away and destroy that enemy . as to the passions of that inferiour part of the soul , there is not any one , wherein the spirits are not stirr'd ▪ but it is requisite , they should be violent ere they can move the heart . for the case is not the same in them , as in those of the other appetites , which , though ever so much inclining to mediocrity , are nevertheless capable of altering her motion . accordingly , we find , that , in wounds and swellings , the spirits have their recourse thither , with a certain impetuosity , yet so as there happens not any change in the beating of the heart and arteries ; and there are considerable evacuations made in crises , without any alteration in those motions . but , in a fever , which is the choler of the natural appetite , in the consternation , which nature is sometimes subject to , in malignant diseases , and in the agonies immediately preceding death , there may be observ'd a remarkable alteration in the pulse . the reason of this difference proceeds from the nature of the vegetative faculty , which is more material , and consequently more heavy , then the sensitive . for as a slothful person engages himself only in those things , that are most easily done , and never undertakes the more difficult , but when he is thereto constrain'd by necessity : so that faculty , which is mov'd with some trouble , thinks it enough , in the lighter passions to stirr the spirits , because they are easily mov'd ; but it attempts not therein the moving of the heart , by reason that is an engine stirr'd with greater difficulty , unless it be when the evil seems considerable , and that it thinks it requisite to imploy all its organs , and all its force , towards the resistance thereof . sect . . how the soul causes the body to move . but we are not yet come to the most difficult point of any , in this whole matter , to wit , how the soul gives motion to the heart and spirits , and , to express it in a word , how she causes all the parts to move . for it is hard enough to conceive how a thing , which hath no body , is able to move a body , and yet much more , to imagine , that , what is it self immoveable , as it may be thought the soul is , can cause the members of the animal to move . it is indeed easily seen , that they move , by the means of the muscles , and that the muscles act by the contraction of the fibres , which enter into their composition . but the question is , how the soul causes that contraction of the fibres . let not any one think to urge here , that the appetite commands the motive vertue , which is in the members , and that the said vertue executes what commands it hath received from the other . these are but words , which , instead of clearing up the thing , render it more obscure and hard to be comprehended : and he who shall narrowly consider the nature of that command , and the manner how it may be made by the appetite , as also , that , whereby it ought to be receiv'd by the motive vertue , will be no further instructed in what we enquite after , then he was before , and shall not find how the fibres meet together and are contracted . to express our selves therefore clearly , and in few words , in order to the clearing up of these difficulties , we affirm , that all the parts are mov'd , in regard the soul , between whom and them there is a strict union , moves her self , and that she forces them to follow the same motion which she hath given herself : so that the fibres are contracted , because the soul , by whom they are animated , closes and reinforces her self first , and afterwards causes them to contract . the same thing is to be said of the spirits for when they go from one place to another , when they dilate or contract themselves in the passions , it is the soul that gives them these motions , consequently to her giving of them to her self . this will not be hard to conceive , it we reflect on what was said in the fourth chapter of this work , where we have shewn , that the soul was movable in all her substance , and , having a proper extension she had also some parts , which she might move as she pleas'd . for , this presuppos'd , it is certain , that being united with the members , it is impossible she should give her self any motion , but she must also give the like to them . but it may be said , that , if the case stands thus , there is no necessity , the animal spirits should flow into the muscles , to cause them to move , in asmuch as the soul , being wholy in every part , hath no need that those spirits should convey into it that vertue , which it is already possess'd of . we have already touch'd at this difficulty , which hath put all the scholes into so much distraction . for some would have the animal spirits carry the motive faculty along with them ; and others affirm , that what they do so carry with them , is only a certain quality , which is not animal , and serves only for a disposition , to set the motive faculty , residing in the parts , upon action . but the maintainers of both these opinions are , no doubt , mistaken , though it were only in this , that they suppose , as they do , the spirits not to be animate ; the former , in that they assign animal vertues to bodies , which they conceive have no life ; the latter , in that they advance an imaginary quality , whereof they make no explication , and which leaves the thing as doubtful at is was before . we must therefore affirm , that the animal spirits do not convey the motive vertue to the parts , but that the command of the estimative faculty does it , without which there can no motion be made . that this may be the better understood , we are to remember , what hath been delivered in the precedent discourses ; to wit , that the appetite moves not but upon the command of the estimative faculty , which orders what things are to be done ; that the said command consists in the image , or idaea which that faculty frames in it self ; and that after such an image hath been therein produced , it is multiplicable and diffusive , as a light , into all the parts of the soul. now it is by the spirits that this communication is wrought . for , as corporeal actions are done by means of the organs that are proper thereto , so knowledge ought to be made in the brain , in which are all the organs necessary for that action . and whereas the parts , which ought to execute what the estimative faculty commands , are remote from it , there is a necessity , the soul should have certain ministers , whose work it is , to carry about the resolutions she hath taken in her privy-councel , without which , as in a well-govern'd commonwealth , nothing either ought or can be done . and this is the proper imployment of the animal spirits , which communicate the orders and decrees of the estimative faculty to the parts , which , upon receipt thereof , move , as we said before . chap v. of the vertues and vices , whereof the art how to know men may judge . since the art how to kn●w men pretends to the discovery of vertues , and vices , how secret soever they may be , it may be also expected from it , that it would acquaint us , what vertues and vices are thereby meant ; and withall , whether it hath that prerogative as to all in general , or only as to some of them . in order to the prosecution of that design , it ought to make an enumeration thereof , that it nay afterwards give us a particular account of those which are within its jurisdiction , and falls under its cognizance . but before we come to that , this is to be premis'd , as of necessary knowledge , that the vertues and vices are certain habits , fram'd in the soul , by several moral actions , which , often reiterated , leave in her an inclination and facility to do the like . art. . what moral actions are . for the clearing up of this doctrine , we are to observe , that our souls may do two kinds of actions , whereof some are necessary the others free . the former are called in the scholes the actions of man ; and those which are free , humane actions , in regard they are proper to man , as he is rational , he only , of all animals , having liberty . there are some who confound the latter with the moral actions , which have a reference to good and evil manners , which deserve praise or dispraise , reward or punishment . but if among the free actions , there are such as may be called indifferent , which are neither good nor bad , as many philosophers are of opinion , it is necessary there should be some difference between humane actions and moral actions , and that the former should be as it were the genus of the latter ; so as that all moral actions may be humane , in regard they are free , and that all humane actions may not be moral , in regard there be some , which are neither good nor bad . art. . what right reason is . but howere the case stand , as to the distinction of actions , it is to be noted , that the moral are good or bad , according to their conformity or contrariety to right reason . now right reason is a just knowledge of the end and means , which man ought to have , to arrive to his perfection . and his perfection consists in two points ; that of the understanding , to know the truth , and that of the will , to attain the soveraign good , for which he is design'd . in a word , it is said , that art is a habit of the understanding , causing a man to operate according to right reason ; and that vertue is a habit of the will , which makes a man act according to right reason . so that there is one right reason for the understanding , and another for the will ; one , leading to truth ; the other , tending to good. this right reason , or knowledge , proceeds either from god , or from nature , or from ratiocination . for god makes men to know what he desires they should do ; and that knowledge is the soveraign rule of our thoughts and actions . nature also does inspire men with a general knowledge , which is as it were the first guide she gives us , to conduct our mind whither it ought to go . under this knowledge do fall the common notions , which contribute to the attainment of the speculative sciences ; as also those natural laws , whereby our manners are regulated . in fine , ratiocination , assisted by these first apprehensions and experience , hath found out rules for arts and sciences , civil laws , for the maintenance of society among men , and maxims , for the conduct of every one in particular : and he , who acts according to any one of these lights , acts according to right reason . but to keep as close as may be to our subject , we are , from all we have said , to conclude , that moral actions are conformable to right reason , when they are regulated either by divine law , or by natural and civil laws , or by the ratiocination of moral philosophy . art. . why the vertues are in the mean. now , among the many rules , which this part of philosophy does furnish us withall , there is one that hath an influence almost over the whole matter whereof we treat . this is , that the actions of the will and sensitive appetite , and the vertues themselves , which they produce , ought to consist in a mediocrity , not inclining to either excess or defect . hence it is that vertue alwaies keeps the mean between two vices , which are opposite one to the other . and though there are some , which seem to be exempted out of this rule , as for example , justice and charity , and some others ; yet is there a certain mediocrity which even those ought to observe , as we are taught by the scholes . the reason upon which this mediocrity is grounded is hard enough to be found . for that which is commonly alledged , to wit , that the conformity of actions to right reason , consists in this , that there is neither more nor less in the actions , then ought to be , and that the disconformity observable therein proceeds from the addition of some thing or some circumstance , which is not suitable thereto , or the substraction of those that are ; and that this addition and substraction makes the excess and defect of the actions : this reason , i say , presupposes what is in the question ; for it may be ask'd why these things and these circumstances are or are not suitable thereto ; and a man may maintain which side he pleases . i conceive it therefore much more pertinent , to affirm , that the mediocrity of actions is grounded on the indifference , which is proper and natural to the soul. for an action being nothing but a progression , and as it were an efflux or effusion of the active power , ought accordingly to be conformable to that power ; and consequently the humane soul being indifferent and indeterminate , in regard that , in power , she is all things , it is requisite that her actions should be so too : and thence does proceed , not only the liberty she hath to do them , or not do them , but also the mediocrity , which she gives them , when they are done by her . for though she be then determin'd by the action , whereto she applies herself , yet does she therein preserve her indifference by the mediocrity , wherein she disposes it , in asmuch as what is in the midst is indifferent , as to the extremities , and what is in the extremity , is more determin'd then what is in the midst . hence it comes , that the motions of the sensitive appetite , which , in all other animals , are the more perfect , the more they are inclin'd to the excess and defect which is natural thereto , ought to be moderate in man , in regard that he being subject to reason , it is requisite they should be conformable thereto as we said before . those moral actions therefore , which are dispos'd according to tha● mediocrity , which is prescribed by right reason , are good and commendable , and those that are chargable with any excess or defect , are evil , and destitute of moral honesty and cannot pretend to commendation . they are called vertuous and vicious , yet so as that they do not communicate that denomination to the persons , by whom they are done . for a man is not called vertuous or vicious , upon his doing of a good or bad action ; but , to gain that name , it is requisite , he should do many , and that he should acquire the habit thereof ; in asmuch as he he cannot be so called , but upon his having of vertue or vice , which , as we said before , are habits . art . of the seat of moral habits . but where shall we find these habits , and in what part of the soul are they framed ? the difficulty lyes not , in reference to the understanding , nor the will , in regard it is necessary that the habits should have their rise in those faculties , whereby the actions are done , since the actions produce the habits . and there is no doubt to be made , but that those moral actions , which ought to be done with liberty and election , proceed from the understanding and the will , which are free powers , and consequently , that vertues and vices are in those faculties , as in their true and proper subject . the question then is only in reference to the sensitive appetite , to wit , whether it be capable of vertues and vices , since it is such a faculty as is not free , nor can take cognizance of right reason , which is the rule of all moral actions ? and what breeds the difficulty as to this point , is , that the sensitive appetite is subject to the superiour faculties , and that its motions enter into vertuous or vicious actions , according as it moderates them , or permits them to be chargeable with excess or defect . so that if these motions , often reiterated , do leave therein an inclination and facility to do the like , it shall be a habit , which , as it seems , can be no other then a vertue or vice. and thus the sensitive appetite shall be sussceptible of either of them , as well as the will. now it is certain , that there are habits fram'd in the sensitive appetite , as may be deduced from the instruction given to beasts , as also from the facility , wherewith our appetite is inclin'd to certain actions after it hath done them several times . to this may be added , that , being a power , which is not determinated to one peculiar manner of acting , and hath its motions sometimes stronger , sometimes weaker , towards the same object , it is impossible , but that it should be capable of some habits , and that the actions , it often reiterates , should leave in it the same facility , which all the other faculties , acting after the same manner , are acknowledg'd to have . to rid our hands of these doubts , we are to lay it down as a certain ground , that the habits , which beasts acquire , cannot be ranked among vertues and vices , and consequently , that the sensitive appetite of man , which is of the same order with that of beasts , is not , of it self , capable of having any other habits then they are . but if it be further considered , that in moral actions , the will ever acts along with it , there is fram'd , at the same time , one habit in the will , and another in the sensitive appetite . the former is really vertuous or vicious ; the latter , indifferent , as being neither good nor bad . and in regard they are not distinguish'd , there is attributed to the sensitive appetite what belongs only to the will. so that all may be said of these last habits , amounts only to this , that they serve for matter and body to the vertues and vices , whereof the form and essence is in the will ; and that the vertues , which are in the will , are living and animate vertues , and the productions of them are , merit , esteem and praise , whereas those of the sensitive appetite are ( if we may be permited so to express our selves ) but ●ude draughts and pictures , without life and soul , having not the vigour to produce any of those things , unless it be when they are accompany'd by the other . for , when any person is naturally inclin'd to temperance , he may acquire the habit thereof , but it shall not be a vertue , deserving either praise or reward , if the will do not contribute somewhat thereto . nay it is further requisite , that the will be illuminated by right reason , otherwise the habit , which it shall have contracted , shall be of the same order with those of the sensitive appetite . whereto this may be added , that the said habit shall be vicious , since it is conceiv'd , the will hath not made the advantages it ougth of the illumination , whereby it should have been guided . it is not sufficient that it should do good actions , but requisite that it should do them well . and thence comes it to be commonly said , that vertue consists rather in adverbs , then adjectives , and that to deserve the name of just , it is not only expected , that the things be just , but also that they be justly done . now in order to their being so done , there is a necessity of having knowledge , of making choice of the means & circumstances ; in a word , of following the directions of right reason , which are actions , whereto the sensitive faculty cannot attain , unless it be indirectly . for it is to be observ'd , that right reason being a knowledge , fram'd by intellectual images , cannot have any connexion or reference to the sensitive appetite , and cannot excite it to motion , in regard it is not susceptible of those kinds of images , as the will , upon the accompt of its spirituality , is . but when this latter hath been thereby illuminated , it moves , and afterwards imprints its motion on the sensitive appetite , which implicitely suffers it self to be carried away whithersoever it is driven . so that if it happen , that its motions then prove conformable to right reason the appetite is not the cause thereof ▪ but it is the will which forces it : & its procedure may be compar'd to the motions of a clock , which ow all their measures and regularity to the art , which is in the mind of the maker . art. . that there are four powers which may be regulated by right reason . but after what manner soever the sensitive appetite be moved , certain it is , that it may be regulated by right reason , either directly or indirectly , and consequently , it may be affirmed , that , since it is twofold , and hath its concupiscible and irascible parts , there are , in man , four powers , which ought to be regulated by right reason , to wit , the understanding , the will , and these two appetites . and as vertue is the settled and constant rule of right reason , so is it requisite , that every one of these powers should have its particular vertue , as well to guide , as prevent it from falling into evil , which is against right reason . thus there shall be four general vertues ; to wit , prudence , for the conduct of the understanding ; justice , to direct the actions of the the will ; temperance , to regulate the passions of the concupiscible appetite ; and fortitude , for the regulation of those of the irascible ; whether these or any of them be rais'd in the sensitive appetite , or in the will. for the will hath two sorts of actions , whereof some are referrable to the good and evil of the person who acts , and these have appropriated to themselves the name of passions ; and the others relate to the good and evil which may be done to others , and these are simply called actions or operations , that is , just and unjust actions . to these four vertues are referr'd not only all those others , which are as it were species of them , but also the vices , which are opposite thereto . we shall therefore divide the ensuing discourse into four parts , or sections , in each whereof we shall treat of one of these vertues , of all the several species of it , and lastly of the vices contrary thereto . sect . . of prvdence . prudence and synderisis , or remorse of conscience , are two habits of the understanding , whereby moral actions are regulated . but they are different in this particular , that the synderesis prescribes to all the vertues the end which they ought to have ; and prudence treats only of the means whereof they ought to make use , in order to their arrival thereto . now , all the employment which the latter hath in this business may be reduc'd to three general actions ; the first whereof is to find out the means ; the second , to make choice of that which is best ; and the third , to prescribe : and this is properly to deliberate , or consult ; to judge , or conclude ; to enjoyn , or prescribe . and these things are so different one from the other , that , many times , there are some men fit for one of them , who are not for the others . some will propose all the expedients imaginable in a business , and yet will not be able to judge , which is the best ; and another will do his work well enough as to that , but will come short of the ingenuity to put it in execution . this difference proceeds from the defect of some one of the intellectual faculties , which hath not the dispositions requisite to produce those actions . for , to deliberate well , a man should have a vivacity of spirit to find out expedients ; and docility , to understand and follow good counsels . to judge well , a man must dive into the bottom , and unravel the intricacy of affairs , which requires a smartness of apprehension and soundness of judgment ; and to see , at a distance , the successes , which things may have , and that is perspicacity , or foresight . to enjoyn well , he must examine all the circumstances of the actions , and that is circumspection ; he must consider the inconveniences and obstructions , which may happen ; and that is precaution . in fine , all three make their advantages of ratiocination and memory ; for nothing is to be said without reason , and that , which is grounded on experience , is the most certain . but in regard it is not sufficient to have consulted well , judged well , and enjoy'd well , if things be not speedily put in execution , we must add , to all these qualities , diligence , which is the final perfection and accomplishment of prudence . moreover , if these actions be apply'd to the conduct of a mans person , family , the countrey wherein he lives , or that of warre , they spread into those particular species of prudence , which are called monastical , oeconomical , political and military . and these are the true species of prudence , the rest may rather be called the integral parts thereof . now though it be commonly affirm'd , that vertue lies between two vicious extremities , yet is it not easie to set them down here . for there are some , whereto there cannot any thing be opposite , but the defect , as for example , memory . nay there are some , which have for their contraries the same vices that are opposite to others . he therefore , who is endu'd with a vivacity of spirit , hath for his extreams the extravagant person and the stupid . he who is docile , the credulous , and the obstinate . he who is judicious hath the same extreams as the ingenious . the fore-seeing or perspicacious person hath the distrustful and the stupid . the circumspect hath the inconsiderate and the negligent . the well-advis'd hath the subtle and the simple , he who hath a good memory hath , for opposite , only him that hath a bad one ; as also he who hath the experience of things , only him who hath it not . the diligent hath the precipitate and the sloathful . these are the vertues and vices which have some relation to prudence , according to the distribution which moral philosophy hath made thereof , and which the art we treat of promises to discover . but it considers them not as they lie in that division , nor under the same names . for it makes no difference between the circumspect , the perspicacious , and the well-advis'd person . and whatever appertains to ingenuity , judgment , and memory , it comprehends under the name of fortunate birth , which ought to bring along with it vivacity of spirit , soundness or strength of judgment , and goodness of memory ; it being requisite that he who is called 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , well , or fortunately born , should have all these qualities together . true it is , that it particularly examines those who have only one of these endowments , as we shall shew anon . now the reason why this our art does not alwaies follow the order of moral philosophy , is , that all its knowledge is grounded upon signs , and that there are not such for all these habits , so exactly distinguish'd . for there being some of them , which are diversify'd only by certain external circumstances they give not any precise marks , whereby they may be distinguish'd one from the other , it being sufficient , that the principle , on which they depend , should be known . and when it shall be known that a man is judicious , it will be easie to conclude , that he is well advis'd , circumspect , and provident , which are the effects of judgment , which considers both present and future circumstances . the order therefore , which our art shall observe in this matter , stands thus : a person well or fortunately born hath for his opposites the extravagant . the stupid . the ingenious , and the judicious , have the same opposites . he who hath a good memory him who hath none . the wise or considerate person the heedless . the sottish . the prudent or well-advis'd the crafty or subtle . the simple . the docile . the credulous . the obstinate . the diligent . the over-hasty . the sloathfull . sect . of jvstice . jvstice is a vertue which renders every one what belongs to him . for , as we are not born of our selves , nor only for our selves , so must we be oblig'd to those , from whom we derive our being , and also to those , for whose sake we have receiv'd it . and therefore both these have a certain right over us , and we ought , in justice , to render them that which belongs to them . as therefore there are two causes , to whom we are oblig'd for our being , god and our parents , so is it requisite there should be two kinds of justice , whereby we ought to render what we ow them , and these are religion and piety . now , in regard we are born in order to society , and that society is consider'd as a whole , whereof every one makes a part , it is accordingly requisite , that every one should have that reference to society it self , and all those , who contribute to the composition thereof , which ought to be between the part and the whole , and all the parts taken together : otherwise the connexion and order , which ought to be therein , would be wanting , and there will be nothing but disorder and confusion . whence it comes , that the common concernment , and that of every one in particular , oblige us to render them , what we ow them , upon this relation and union . that justice , which regards the publick concernment , is called policy , whereby we render to the community , what we ow it . as to that which concerns particular persons , there being some who are design'd to govern and command , either upon the account of their dignity , or by reason of the excellence they have , the justice we ow them is , obedience and respect in all others we are to consider what we may ow them upon a rigorous account of justice , or meerly upon a pure moral obligation . the former consists in distributive and commutative justice ; of the other , there are six species ; to wit , friendship and gratitude ; affability and truth ; fidelity and liberality ; whereof the two first are answerable to the heart ; the two subsequent , to the words ; and the two last to actions ; whatsoever we ow being to be derived from the heart , words , and effects . thus it is that our art makes use of these maxims . in the first place it considers the honest , just , or upright person , under whom is particularly comprehended whatsoever appertains to politicall , commutative , and distributive justice . and to the just person it opposes the simple and mischievous ; but it examines not the simple person upon the same account , as he makes one of the extreams of prudence . in the next place comes religion , which we call piety , for now that word is reduc'd to the business of religion : and the justice we ow to our parents is comprehended under goodness . the opposites to piety , are the superstitious , and the impious person . as to obedience , it does not assign any markes of it , since those of docility may serve instead thereof . respect may also have a certain reference to prudence , or the other species of justice : for he who does not pay the respect he ows , is either foolish or proud . so that it places the friend in the third classis , to whom it opposes the flatterer and the enemy . next follows the grateful person , who hath , for his opposite , onely the ungrateful . the affable comes in the first rank , who hath for opposites , the cajoler and the rustick . in the sixt , comes the tell-troth , or sincere person , who hath for his opposite the lyar. but in regard lying may be referr'd to words , actions , a mans own affairs , and anothers ; thence it comes that there are five kinds of lyars , the vain person , the dissembler , the arrogant , the hypocrite , and the evil-speaker . then follows fidelity , whereto there cannot any excess be opposed , but only the defect , which is perfidiousness . in fine , the last of all is the liberal person , who hath for opposites the prodigal and the covetous . but in regard compassion and clemency come somewhat neer liberality , the former relieving those that are in want , and the other remitting the punishment which was due , our art adds the merciful and the charitable , to the former whereof there is but one opposite , to wit , the unmerciful ; and of clemency , the excessive vice is indulgency , or fondness , and the defective , cruelty . magnificence hath also some relation to liberality ; for it seems to be a sumptuous and excelling liberality ; and that hath for its opposites , superfluous expence , and misership . these , reduc'd into the order observ'd in the precedent section , will stand thus . the honest and just person hath for oppositor the simple . the vnjust , or mischievous person . the pious , or devout the superstitious . the impious . the friend the flatterer . the enemy . the grateful person the vngrateful . the affable the cajoller . the rustick . the tell-troth the lyar in words the vain person . the dissembler . the evil-speaker . in actions the arrogant . the hypocrite . the faithful person the perfidious . the liberal the prodigal . the covetous . the magnificent the superfluously expensive . the miser . the compassionate the vnmerciful , or vncompassionate . the clement the indulgent . the cruel . sect . . of temperance . the perfection of every power consists in the force of its action , so that the passions , how violent soever they may be , are so many perfections , respect being had to the appetite , whereby they are produc'd . but in regard the appetite was bestow'd on the animal , for its conservation , and that , in man , it ought to be subject to the superiour faculties , the actions of it should not be defective , since perfection consists in the force of the action ; nor should they on the other side be excessive , because they would destroy health , and disturb the noblest actions of the soul. and therefore it is requisite , they should be moderate , that so they may be conformable to reason ; for , to be conformable to reason , amounts to no more , then to be convenient for man , that is , for his nature . nay , those very passions , which are excited in the will , ought to admit the same temperament or moderation : for though they cannot alwaies cause an alteration in the health , yet may they find the soul work about objects , which ought not to move her , or keep her too long engag'd about such as are not bad . thence it comes , that over-earnestness of study is vicious , in regard it employes the spirit too much in contemplation , and diverts it from that activity , and those lawful cares of life , which justly pretend to a share in the actions of man. howere it be , all the passions are regulated by two vertues , those of the concupiscible appetite by temperance , and those of the irascible , by fortitude . as for temperance , there are but two kinds of passions about which it is employ'd , and which constitute the species thereof , to wit , pleasure and desire . for though love be the first , and most powerful of them all , yet is it impossible to make any conceit or apprehension thereof , otherwise then as it is inclin'd to some good , which is either present or absent . if it be present , it causes pleasure ; if it be absent , it frames desire : so that love is , as it were , involv'd and confin'd within these two passions , and that vertue , whose business it is to moderate them , does also at the same time regulate the passion of love. nay if things be narrowly examin'd , we shall find , that pleasure comprehends the two others , and that , in effect , temperance hath no other design then to moderate the pleasures , derivable from the goods of the soul the body , ●ot external things . but in regard , that , of these goods , there are some , which are consider'd rather as absent then present , and others on the contrary : accordingly , desire is more manifest in some , and pleasure ●n others , and therefore we have though to separate them . for there are three things in generall , wherein our desire may be vicious , to wit , knowledge , wealth and honours : and there are two others which contribute to immoderate pleasures , that is , the senses , and divertisements . as to knowledge there being some things evil and unprofitable which may be learnt , and that too much or too little time may be spent about such as are good and profitable , the vertue which regulates our desires in the pursuit thereof may be called study , or a commendable curiosity . for wealth , if we regard the disposall , which is to be made thereof to others , the vertue employ'd to that purpose is called liberality , and belongs to justice : but if it be desired for a mans private use , the vertue which moderates the cares , which a man takes in the acquisition and use thereof , is called frugality . the desire of honour is regulated by humility , modesty , and magnanimity . humility keeps a man from falling too low in the pursuit thereof ; magnanimity , from attempting things too high ; and modesty moderates the desires a man may have for meaner honours . pleasure does principally regard the senses , especially those of the tasting and touching , in asmuch as the irregularity of those two is most prejudicial to health , and the functions of the understanding . the pleasure of eating and drinking is moderated by sobriety , and chastity gives a check to the enjoyments of the flesh . now whereas there is a necessity of divertisement , for the relaxation of mind and body , and for the recruiting of them with new forces , and that some abuse may be made of the pleasure found therein ; there is a particular vertue design'd for the regulation of them , to wit , eutrapelii , whereof there are several species , according to the diversity of the objects , wherein diversion may be found ; such as are conversation , gaming , musick , hunting , walking , and others , whereto there have not yet any names been given , unless it be to that which moderates the pleasure taken in raillery . the art how to know men is not , as to this particular , more exact then moral philosophy , which hath not been able to make a discovery of all the species of temperance . for there are many passions of the concupiscible appetite , whereto it hath not assign'd particular vertues , for their regulation , as for example , hatred , aversion , and sadness . nay it hath not express'd all the differences of desires and pleasure 〈◊〉 wherein here may be some failing , as well as in what concerns the use of the superiour ●enses , since the same excesses which happen in the tasting and touching , do also occur in the sight , hearing , and smelling . but as moral philosophy hath , by the general tearm of temperance , made provision for all the particular vertues requisite for that purpose : so our art hath assum'd the freedom , to comprehend , under moderation , all that concerns the ordering and direction of these passions . we therefore place the moderate person between the voluptuous , and the insensible . the studious is comprehended under the curious , the extreams whereof are , the over-curious and the negligent . the frugal person lies between the same opposite vices as the liberal ; those two being distinguish'd only by the different ends which they have in the disposal of wealth . the humble , the modest & the magnanimous , have in a manner the same extreams . there be only the proud and the ambitious which are different . that modesty ▪ which consists in the gesture , is confounded with the character of the wise , or discreet person : that which relates to cloaths is called handsomness , which hath for opposites the gawdy , and the slovenly . but our art considers not that vertue , which is only in the external part , as being easily perceiv'd of it self . the sober person is attended by two vices , both which are in the excess , and hath not any defect at all . the rest may be seen by the ensuing table . the moderate person hath for opposites the voluptuous . the insensible . the curious the over-inquisitive . the negligent . the frugal the prodigal . the covetous . the humble the proud. the abject . the magnanimous the presumptuous . the pusillanimous . the modest the ambitious . the over-bashful . the sober or temperate the glutton . the drunkard . the chast the vnchast . the impotent . the cheerful the ridiculous . the austere . to these may be added the excessive gamster . the excessive huntsman sect . . of fortitvde . fortitvde moderates the passions of the irascible appetite ; for this is the vertue , which regulates the soul , upon the occurrence of things troublesome and difficult . now , though there be three kinds of passion in this appetite , to wit , hope , audacity , and anger , yet are the two latter the more violent , and the least tractable ; so that this vertue is more apparent , in anger and audacity , then it is in hope . and whereas audacity relates to dangers , and particularly that which is most to be fear'd of any , to wit , death ; thence it proceeds , that most of the philosophers assign this vertue to moderate that passion alone . but following the order we have propos'd to our selves , it is to be extended to all those passions . nevertheless ; before we come to treat of the species of it , this observation is to be premis'd , to wit , that there are three sorts of fortitude , that of the body , that of the mind , and that of the appetite . the first is purely natural ; the last is acquir'd by study and reason ; the other is partly natural , partly acquir'd , all these three have two principal functions , which are , to assault or set upon , and oppose . now as anger is the strongest , and most ordinary passion of this appetite , meekness is accordingly put in the first place , as being the vertue , by which this passion is moderated . there are several species of audacity , according to the several objects which oblige it to attack or oppose . for , in attacking the evil , if it be done in arms , it makes valour ; in all other cases , it is audacity , or confidence . but if it slight and contemn great dangers , it is tearmed magnanimity , or greatness of courage . on the contrary , in opposing , it is constancy and patience . as concerning hope , it is regulated by patience and perseverance . the latter hath a respect to the delay , the former considers all the other difficulties , which may occur in the expectation of good. according to this order , our art ought in the first place to examine the strength and weakness of the body and mind ; then speak of meekness , which hath for its opposites , anger and insensibility , and so of the rest , as may be seen in the ensuing table . a person of a strong constitution of body hath but one contrary , which is the weak of body a strong constitution of mind hath also but one , which is weakness of mind the meek or courteous the angry . the insensible . the valiant the rash . the coward . the bold the impudent . the timorous . the magnanimous the presumptuous the pusillanimous . the constant the vnconstant . the obstinate . the patient the impatient . the stupid . the perseverant the self-will'd . the faint-hearted . the end of the first book . the art how to know men. the second book . chap. i. of the means whereby men may be known . having , in the precedent book , explicated the nature of the inclinations , the motions of the soul , and the habits , which the art how to know men pretends it self able to discover ; our design call upon us now , to an examination of the means , whereby this knowledge is to be attain'd . now , whereas it is impossible to come to the knowledge of things obscure , otherwise then by that of those which are already known to us , there is a necessity , that if there be an art , whereby may be taught what lies hid in men , it ought to make use of some manifest and known means , between which and the things it would know , there should be such a rapport and connexion , as that some certain consequences might be drawn from the one to the other . and whereas there is not any rapport of this nature , other then what is between the cause and its effect , or the effect and its cause , or between one effect and another , upon this account that both of them proceed from the same source , it follows , that there are three means whereof this art may make use , to arrive at the end , which it proposes to it self , and that it may discover a secret effect , by the cause which is known to it , or an obscure cause by a manifest effect , and an unknown effect by another which is evident . and these means are called signs , because they denote , signifie , and design the things that are obscure . thus , when we know a man to be of a temperament subject to melancholy , it may be said , that he hath an inclination to sadness , in asmuch as that temperament is the cause of such an inclination ; and then the cause is the sign of the effect . on the contrary , by the natural inclination which some man may have to sadness , it is presum'd , that he is of a melancholick temperament ; and in that case , the effect is the sign of the cause . in fine , by the timorousness , which may be observ'd in both these persons , it may be judg'd that they are dissemblers , in regard that both timorousness and dissimulation proceed from the weakness which attends the melancholick temperament , and then it is , that the effect is sign of an effect . now , since causes and effects serve for signs to the art we treat of , the next thing to be known is , what these causes and effects are . art. . what causes they are which serve for signs . it is not to be doubted but that the causes , which contribute to the discovery of men , must be such as have an influence over man , and are in him ; that is , such as cause some alteration in the body and soul , and promote and change the actions of both . of these there are two orders ; some are internal , some external . the internal causes are the faculties of the soul , the temperament , the conformation of the parts , age , nobleness or meanness of birth , the habits , as well intellectual , as moral , and the passions . the external are parents , the celestial bodies , the climate , the seasons , aliment , prosperous or adverse fortune , example , advice , punishments , and rewards . for all these causes make different impressions upon man , and according to the strength they have , they produce in him different effects , and dispose him to such and such actions . so that every faculty of the soul , every temperament , every age , every several kind of birth , hath its proper actions , its particular dispositions , its inclinations , and aversions . parents do many times derive to their children those qualities of body and mind , which are natural to themselves ; the climate , health and sickness , course of life , prosperity and adversity , good and bad example ; in fine , the different aspects of the celestial bodies cause an alteration in the body and soul , imprinting in them divers qualities , and making them inclinable to certain actions . art. . what the effects are which serve for signs . the effects which proceed from these causes are also of two kinds ; for some are corporeal ; others , spiritual . the spiritual are the qualities of the mind ; the inclinations , the habits , all the actions and motions of the soul : for , that they have been numbred among the causes , was in consideration of the effects which they produce ; as here they are ranked among the effects ▪ by reason of the causes from which they proceed . for instance , the inclination which a man hath to anger , is the cause of the anger ; but it is also the effect of the cholerick temperament , which gives birth to that inclination the corporeal effects consist in the bulk of the figure of the parts ▪ in the first and second qualities , in the air of the countenance , in the carriage and motion of the body , as we shall shew more particularly hereafter . so that upon cognizance taken of these causes , and a knowledge of the power they have , some judgment may be made of their present or future effects ; and on the other side , upon an observation of the effects , and a knowledge of that whereto they ought to be referred , the present or past causes may be ghess'd at . thus are they signs one of the other , and the art how to know men , hath a priviledge to make its advantage of them , in order to the performance of what it promises . but in regard all these signs create not an equal knowledge of the things whereto they are referr'd , & that some of them denote the same with more certainty then others , it is requisite there should be a careful examination taken of their strength and weakness , since that is the chiefest and most solid ground of this art. chap. . of the strength and weakness of signs . art . what judgment is made by the causes . generally speaking , the judgment which is made by the causes , is more uncertain then that which is made by the effects , in regard that from the knowledge of the cause of some thing , it does not follow , that it should produce the effect it is imagin'd to do , by reason of divers obstructions , which may happen in the production thereof : but when an effect is seen , it must of necessity be , that the cause did precede . thence it comes , that the knowledge which is had of the temperaments , by the marks they leave upon the body , is more certain then that which is had of the inclinations by the temperament , in asmuch as these marks are the effects of the temperament , and that the temperament is the cause of the inclinations . art. . of the next causes . moreover the causes are of two kinds ; some are termed the next causes , others are remote . from the former , a more certaine judgment may be deduced , in regard they have a stricter connexion with their effects . accordingly , the knowledge which is had of the temperament , better discovers the inclinations , then any thing that can be inferr'd from birth , age , or the climate , &c. but there is not any cause , from which there may be a more certaine judgment deduc'd of a mans actions , then the habit : for he who shall know one to be a just person , will be the more apt to affirm , that upon such or such an occasion , he will do an act of justice . into this rank may also be reduced the passions themselves , in reference to those others which are wont to accompany them ; for the passions never march alone , and there is not any of them but produces some others which either appear with it , or follow it very closely . thus arrogance , impatience , indiscretion , accompany anger ; and therefore he who knows a man to be sometimes transported with the latter , may affirm that he is apt to fall into the others . and this observation is so considerable , that it makes way for the noblest rule of all physiognomy , whereof aristotle is the author , and which he calls syllogistick ; and of which we shall have occasion to speak hereafter . the qualities or endowments of the mind do also give a certain judgment of the good & bad productions , which shall proceed from them . and it may be affirmed , that when some man shall conceive himself oblig'd , out of the bent of his own inclination , to embrace some opinion , or to speak to some business , he will judge and discourse of it , answerable to the opinion the world hath of his capacity and endowments . art. . of the remote causes . as to the remote causes , if there were so great certainty in astrology as some imagine to themselves , no question but the judgments , which might be made upon consideration of the celestial bodies , would be the most certain of any . but we do not acknowledge so great a power in those bodies , as is attributed to them , and we can grant them , at most , but some small advantage over the climate , which gives some ground to judge of the inclinations , upon the accompt of the temperament , whereof it is a remote cause as well as they . age and sickness may be put in the some rank . but good and bad fortune , nobleness or meanness of birth , examples ( under which i comprehend counsels , advice , rewards , and punishments ) afford but very doubtful conjectures . lastly , the seasons and aliment make the most uncertain judgments of any . art. . what judgment that is which is made by the effects . as to what concerns the discovery which may be of the causes by the effects , we are to presuppose the distinction we have already made thereof , that is , that of these latter , there are some spiritual , some corporeal . for , generally speaking , the judgment which is made by the corporeal , is more certain then that deduc'd from the spiritual , in as much as the former immediately proceed from the temperament , and the conformation of the parts , which are the next causes of the inclinations ; or they ( viz the effects ) proceed from the passion it self , which produces them on the body , when the soul is stirr'd thereby . and as to the spiritual , which are the qualities or endowments of the mind , the inclinations , the actions and motions of the soul , and the habits ; as there are many several causes , whereby each of them may be produc'd , so the judgment made thereof is the more indeterminate and uncertain . for the passion may be caus'd by divers objects , by the weakness of the mind , by the inclination , &c. in like manner , the inclination may be the product of the instinct , to the temperament , and of custome . the habits also have diverse principles as well as the qualities of the mind , so that it is no easie matter precisely to assigne the cause , from which each of these effects proceeds . now , since there may be a more exact knowledge deduced from the corporeal effects , and that it is of them only that physiognomy makes use , in order to the discovery of the inclinations , it concerns us to engage upon a more careful examination of them , and to see what their number may be , what the causes thereof are , and what strength and weakness they have , that so we may judge , not only of the inclinations , as physiognomy does , but also of the qualities of the mind , the passions and habits , which the art how to know men pretends it self able to discover by them . chap. iii. of the natural signs . in the first place , we are here to presuppose , that there are two kinds of effects , or signs , which are imprinted on the body . of these , one is the natural , which proceeds from the constitution of the body , and the other elementary causes : the other , the astrological , which proceeds from the stars or celestial bodies , whereof metoposcopy and chiromancy make use . we shall hereafter examine , whether there be any certainty in those sciences , and whether the signs , upon which they have fram'd their rules , may contribute any knowledge of the inclinations , the passions , and the habits , as they pretend to do . as to the natural signs , aristotle hath reduc'd them to nine heads or articles , which are these : . the motion of the body , as the cate , the gesture , and carriage of it . . beauty , and deformity . . colour . . the air of the countenance , . the quality of the skin . . the voice . . the fleshiness of the body . . the figure & of the parts . . the largness of the parts . all these signs proceed from internal or external causes . and this distinction is so necessary , that it makes in a manner , the whole difference there is between those which are advantageous and those that are otherwise , as we shall make appear . the internal causes are , the conformation of the parts , the temperament and the motive vertue ; the external are all those things , which come from without , and work some alteration in the body . thus a man may go slowly , either out of his natural inclination , or out of design , or through weakness , beauty and deformity proceed from nature , artifice , or accident . the colour ought to be consonant to the temperament ; but the air , and such other things may alter it . the air of the countenance , and the voice , the skin , and the fleshiness of the parts , may receive alteration upon the same account . in fine , the figure of the parts ●s either natural or accidental , for a man may become crooked , and crump-shoulder'd , either by a fluxion , or by a fall , or by nature . true it is , that , of these signs , some are not so easily changed by the external causes , as the figure , the air of the countenance , and motion ; but the colour , the skin , and the voice , do easily receive the impressions thereof . but it being suppos'd , as it is certain , that the internal causes are those which produce the most certain signs , we make this further observation , that the figure and largness of the parts proceed from the conformation ; the temperament gives the colour , the quality of the skin , and the fleshiness of the parts ; the particular kind of gate , and the other motions proceed from the motive vertue : but beauty , the voice , & the air of the countenance proceed from all these three causes joyned together . for beauty consisting in a symmetry , and just proportion of the members , as to colour and grace , the proportion proceeds from the conformation ; colour , from the temperament ; and the grace , from motion . the voice is answerable to the conformation of the organs , their temperament , and the motion of the muscles . in fine , the air of the countenance , and the carriage of the body , have their principal dependence on the motion : for in the disturbance of the passions , the air , which accompanies them , is nothing else then a certain proportion of the parts , resulting from the diverse motions they make in pursuit of good and evil , which moves the appetite . but that disturbance of the passion being calm'd , and taken away , the air , which remains fix'd on the countenance , relates to the conformation and the temperament , as may be observ'd in those , who naturally have the same constitution and disposition of the parts , with those , which the passion is wont to cause . art. . of the difference of signs . of the signs before-mentioned some are common , others proper . the common signs are not determinated to any one quality , but may signifie many ; on the contrary , the proper are determinated only to one . moreover , there are some signs , which , in a manner , never change , as the conformation ; all the rest may be chang'd . and among these last , some are stable and permanent , others are transient , and continue but a short time . thus those which proceed from age and the climate , are stable ; but such as proceed from sickness and the passions , are of small continuance . from these distinctions , something may be deduc'd , which may contribute to the discovery of the strength and weakness of the signs ; for those which proceed from external causes do not denote any thing certain . and of those which the internal causes have produc'd , the stable are significators of permanent inclinations ; the others may possibly denote the present passions , but not the natural inclinations , unless it be by accident , as aristotle speaks . besides , the signs which are the least easily chang'd by the external causes , are the most certain ; such as are the figure , the air of the countenance , and motion ; but the colour , the skin , the fleshiness of the parts , and the voice , are consequently the less certain . whereto this may be added , that the common signs do not signifie any thing certain , unless there be some proper sign , whereby they should be determinated . art. . of the means assign'd by aristotle to discover the efficacy of signs . aristotle proposes another maxim , to find out the efficacy and certitude of signs . for he affirms , that , such as are observable in the principal , and most excellent parts , are accordingly the most certain , and that , among those , the head is the most considerable ; but , in that , the eyes challenge the preheminence , the forehead hath the next place , and then the face , comprehending all that is below the eyes . next to the head , are accounted the breast and shoulders ; in the third place come the arms and legs ; the belly is the last of all , and the least considerable . but this rule seems somewhat disconsonant to the maxims of aristotle , nay indeed to reason it self . for he , who assigns the heart for the principle of all actions , as being that part , wherein he affirms the passions to be framed , should have bestow'd the first and most excellent place on the breast , and not on the head , and have maintain'd , that the most certain signs of the inclinations and passions are derivable from that part , which encompasses the place , where they have their first birth . but it is to be observed , that aristotle does not there pass his judgment , of the excellency of the parts , as a philosopher or physician would do ; he considers them only upon this reflection , that the passions are more discoverable in those , then others . and accordingly , he places the arms and leggs before the belly , though they be much less excellent and less considerable , as to the essence and nature of the animal . now it is certain , that there is not any part , wherein the passions are sooner , and more apparently observable , then they are in the head : as we shall shew more particularly in the next article . art. . that the passions are most apparent in the head. the first reason we shall give for the more remarkable manifestation of the passions in the head , is this , that they are not fram'd without the use of the senses , from which is derived the first knowledge of those things , that move the passions , and that all of them , touching only excepted , are placed in the head. add to this , that the estimative faculty , whose work it is to conceive the things which are good and bad , and gives the first shock to the appetite , is in the brain ; and that the strength and weakness of mind , which have also a dependence on the same part , hath a great influence over the inclinations and passions . for it is certain , that children , sick persons , and women are ordinarily enclin'd to anger , out of pure weakness of mind , as having not that heat of blood and heart , which is requisite for a disposition to that passion . but the principal reason hereof proceeds from the impression , which the passions make on that part . for as the soul hath no other design in the motions of the appetite , then to bring the animal to the enjoyment of that good , which she conceives necessary thereto , and to remove the evil , whereby it may be injur'd ; so , to compass her desires , she employs all the parts , that are under her jurisdiction , and causes them to move answerably to the intention she hath . now , of these , some being more susceptible of motion then others , they accordingly make a speedier discovery of the agitation wherein she is , and the progress she makes therein : for there are several degrees in every passion in the first place , there is the emotion , or first stirring , of the appetite , which does not issue out of the soul , as being an immanent action : then the heart and spirits are stirr'd , as being the chief organs of the sensitive appetite ; and , if the passion increase , the eyes , the forehead , and the other parts of the head , are shaken : but if it still advance , and come to execution , and that the soul would really arrive at the enjoyment of the good , and shun the evil , she moves the parts design'd for that purpose ▪ till at last , she puts the whole body into motion , if she be not prevented . so that it is to be hence observ'd , that the heart and spirits are those parts of the body , which are first moved in the passions . but the motion of the heart is not sensible , as that of the spirits , which is immediately to be seen in the countenance , in regard they carry the blood along with them , the sudden arrival or departure whereof alters , in a moment , the colour and figure of the face ; which alteration happens not to the other parts , and that for two reasons . one is , because the spirits make their recourse to the face more abundantly then to any of the other parts , upon this account , that the senses are lodg'd therein , which stand in need of spacious channels , whereby the spirits may flow thither in greater quantities , and with more ease . the other is , that the skin of the face is of a particular constitution , which is not to be found in any of the other parts . for all elswhere , unless it be in the palms of the hands , or the soals of the feet , the skin may be separated from the flesh : but in the face , they are both so united together , that they cannot be separated one from the other , without tearing and rending it . whence it comes that the colour , which proceeds from the motion and quality of the blood , is more manifest there , then in all the rest of the body ; and this also so much the more , for that the skin there is very thin and delicate ; which is not to be found in the hands and feet . so that , it being shewn , that the passions do principally and more easily change the colour of the face , then that of any of the other parts , it is to be maintain'd as certain , that , in such a case , it must be the place where they appear soonest and most evidently . moreover , whereas the soul , being stirr'd , moves , not onely the heart , the spirits , and humours , but also those parts , which move voluntarily ; it is not to be question'd , but that those which are most apt to motion are the first stirr'd by her , though their motion contribute but very little to the execution of her design . for , to what end serves the wrinkling of the forehead , the lifting up of the eye-brows , and the widening of the nostrils in the passion of anger ; or , in bashfulness , the casting down of the eyes , blushing , and being out of countenance ? and yet it is not to be doubted , but that all these motions proceed from the disturbance caus'd by the passion in the soul , and whereby she is hurried , to make use of whatever stands in her way , though it be no advantage to her , as we said before . since therefore that , of the parts , there are not any so susceptible of motion , nor so suddenly betray their resentment of the passions , as those which are in the head , aristotle had reason to assign it the first place , as to what concerns physiognomical signs ; and to dispose the eyes in the most excellent place therein , then to bring in the forehead , and so consequently the others , for the reasons we have alledged . art . that the inclinations are most apparent in the head. it might be said , that all this discourse does indeed demonstrate the appearance of the passions more remarkably in the face , then any where else ; but that the same thing is not to be concluded as to the inclinations , and that all this alteration , and all these motions , which are consequent to the agitation of the soul , are only transient signs , incapable of denoting permanent disposition , such as are those of the inclinations and habits . but we conceive it no inconsiderable advancement to have shewn , that the characters of the passions are principally apparent in that part of the body , since that , according to the rule of conformity , whereof we shall speak hereafter , those who naturally have the same air , which the passion causes , are inclinable to the same passion . however it may happen , if the temperament , the conformation of the parts , and the motive vertue , be the causes of permanent signs , it is consequently certain , that there are not any parts , wherein the formative vertue acts more efficaciously , then it does in the head , by reason of the excellency of its operations , and its organs ; no parts , wherein the temperament can be more easily discover'd , by reason of the particular constitution , which the skin is of ; in fine , no parts , wherein the motive vertue is stronger , and more free in its motions , since there it is in its proper seat and vigour . to these reasons , this may be added , that the great variety of the organs , which are in the head , supplies us with a greater number of signs , then any other part whatsoever , and that , audacity and fear taken away , as also some others which have dependance on them , there is not any passion that leaves its marks on the parts , whereby the heart is encompass'd . so that , without any further difficulty , we may allow the head the preheminence , as to what concerns the signs observable in physiognomy . art. . that the inclinations are discoverable by the arms and leggs . it may seem deducible from these last reasons , that we are willing to allow the second rank to the arms and leggs , and admit them to be the places , from which , next to the head , there may be drawn such signs , as may pretend to most certainty , and whereof there are a greater number ; and consequently , that the breast is not so considerable as they are . and indeed , if the air of the face , the behaviour , and motion , be more certain signs then the figure , as aristotle , in these words seems to affirm , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , placing the figure after the motions , it is certain , that they are much more apparent in the gesture and gate , then in the breast , where it may be thought there is only the figure to be consider'd . but we are here to call to mind , what we have said elsewhere , to wit , that the passions may be consider'd in their first stirring , and in their execution , and that the execution is not alwaies consequent to the stirring and emotion . now the arms and legs are the principal organs in order to the execution of what the appetite commands , and the heart is the principle and source of the emotion . so that the marks which this latter gives are more universal , and more certain , then those of the others , it being affirmed , that the heart is alwaies mov'd in the passions , and that every passion comes not to execution . i add further , that the breast and shoulders have also their particular carriage and motion , as well as the arms ; besides , that the motion of the arms , and the manner of going , may be chang'd by custom , whereas the same thing cannot be said of the figure of the breast , which alwaies denotes the temperament of the heart , and consequently , the inclinations . and as for aristotle , we are to affirm , that he does not make any comparison between the air of the countenance , and motion , and figure ; but he compares these three together with the other signs , as , for example , the colour , the voice , the quality of the skin , and the fleshy parts , which no doubt are much less certain then the former , as we said elsewhere . so that it is to be maintain'd , as manifest , that the most excellent place , from which the most remarkable signs of physiognomy are to be drawn , is the head ; the next to that , the parts which enclose the heart ; the third , the arms and leggs ; and the last , the belly . for though this last hath some right to dispute the precedence with the arms , by reason of the many signs found therein , especially as to what concerns the temperament ; yet it is most certain , that modesty does not easily permit that part to be consider'd , whence it must needs follow , that the signs are so much the less manifest ; whereto may be added this also , that they do not principally denote the operations of the sensitive soul , but only of the vegetative , and that it is only by accident , that it makes any signification of the other . art. . from what places the signs are taken . the most considerable places , from which the signs are to be taken , are , as aristotle affirms , those 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , in quibus sapientiae multae apparentia fit ; which assertion may be explicated two ways . the former , that the parts where wisdom and modesty ought to be most apparent , are those which discover the most certain marks of the inclinations . so that the air of the countenance , and the carriage or deportment of the body , making the principal discovery of wisdom in a man , it is accordingly from those places , that we are to derive the most assured signs of physiognomy . for , as prudence brings along with it a general disposition to all the other vertues ; so , on the other side , imprudence invests a man with a susceptibility of all sorts of vices and imperfections . so that the places , where those two qualities are most remarkable , must of necessity furnish us with the signs of all the other inclinations . the second explication of that assertion , and , in my judgment , the better , is , that the external parts , whereof the soul seems to stand most in need , and wherein she imploys the more art and conduct , whether as to the framing of them , or keeping them after they are fram'd , are those from which we are to extract the most certain signs of the inclinations . the reason , this , that the soul , making a fuller discovery of her self , and , in some sort , more manifestly producing her self in those parts , than in the others , may in them also make a greater discovery of her inclinations . now , it is generally acknowledg'd , that there are not any , wherein her cares , her conduct , and her industry are more apparent , than in the eyes , and in the other parts of the head ; in regard that all the senses , nay , reason it self , are lodg'd therein ; and , next to them , in the breast , upon this account , that it comprehends the source of life , and that the appetite hath its residence there ; and lastly , in the arms and leggs , as being the instruments of voluntary motion , which , next to sentiment , is the noblest quality of the animal . from the precedent discourse , it is easily seen , that there cannot be an assured judgment made of the soul's inclinations , otherwise than by the proper and permanent signs , and that these are commonly drawn from the figure , the air of the countenance , the motions , and the fleshy parts of the body . so that among the signs propos'd by aristotle , the figure , and air of the countenance have the first place . then follows the motion , in as much as the animal does not move , but answerably to the motion of the appetite ; and so it is easie to judge , of what quality the appetite is , by motion , which is one of its effects . the fleshy parts of the body have the third place , in regard they denote the matter , whereof the body consists : now , every matter requires its particular form , and so , by the qualities of the matter , the qualities of the form may be known . the skin and hair come next , in as much as they are certain discoveries of the fleshiness . in fine , colour and the voice bring up the rear , and have the last place , in regard they may be easily alter'd , especially the voice , which is chang'd in a moment , by the passions , by the least fluxion , and by an hundred other such accidents . chap. iv. of the rules , which physiognomy hath fram'd upon the natural signs , in order to the discovery of the inclinations . as all the signs , whereof we have treated , taken distinctly one from the other , afford us not a very certain judgment of what we would deduce from them ; and that it is requisite , there should be a concurrence of several of them , to make a perfect denotation of what we would discover therby ; so physiognomy hath reduc'd them into divers classes , wherein are comprehended all those which have any relation to the same end and signification . and the number of these classes is drawn from four rapports and resemblances , which may be between men & other things ; it being conceivable , that one man may have some resemblance to another , who shall be mov'd by some passion , or to men of another climate , or to women , or to brutes . now , upon these four resemblances , physiognomy hath made four general rules , which , besides that they promote its particular design , do further discover the initials of that science , and the improvements it hath made , in several times and ages . art. . of the progress of physiognomy . i conceive then , it may be laid down as a thing not question'd , that physiognomy had its beginnings and advancements , as the other sciences had , which have not of a sudden , and , as it were , at the first start , nor yet in the same age , attain'd the perfection and accomplishment , which time and after-experiences have brought them to . and it is very probable , that the first observations made thereof , were taken from the effects , which the passions produce in the countenance ; and that it having been observ'd , that a man transported with anger , or cast down by sadness , had his countenance in such or such a posture , some observant person inferr'd the likelihood there was , that those who naturally had their countenances so , were accordingly inclin'd to the same passions . for this manner of judging of the inclinations is more consonant to common sence , and the most easie to be observ'd . afterwards there was taken into consideration the resemblance which may be between men , and other animals , and a judgment was made of the conformity of their inclinations , by the resemblance there was between them . then was there notice taken of that which is between the sexes ; and , at last , that between men of different climates . for it is certain , that the sexes , in each species , have the figure of the body and the inclinations different , as well as men of different climates ; and that if there be a resemblance , as to figure , between any two of them , there ought to be also the same , as to their inclinations . art. . that the syllogistical rule was added by aristotle . thus far went the antient physiognomy . to these observations aristotle hath since added the rule which he calls syllogistical . now , though the rules which the antient professors of physiognomy made use of were not bad , yet were they not certain enough , to establish a science upon them , in regard they did not employ them all in their judgments , nay , indeed us'd them not as they should have done , and that they wanted the syllogistical rule , without which , the other are defective . and thence it came , that aristotle found fault with them , and hath shewn , by solid reasons , that there was no certainty in their science . art. . the defect of the first rule of physiognomy . for , as to what concerns the first means , which they call apparent conformity or resemblance , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , they minded not , that there are many contrary inclinations , which cause the same constitution of countenance , as , for instance , fortitude , and impudence . besides , the air of countenance is chang'd in a moment , according as the soul is mov'd ; and so a man naturally sad , may express a certain cheerfulness in his countenance , upon the occurrence of some agreeable object . in fine , this rule is very imperfect , and confin'd the study of physiognomy to too narrow limits . art. . the defectiveness of the second rule . the second rule , which they draw from the resemblance there may be , between man and other animals , is yet more doubtfull , especially considering the manner , how they made use of it . for there is not any man , as aristotle affirms , who hath an absolute resemblance with any other animal whatsoever , but onely in some particular part ; and there is ground to doubt , whether any one part is capable of creating a judgment of an inclination , proper to the whole species . secondly , it is to be considered , that there are few signs proper and peculiar to any one species , and that there be many common ones ; and therefore the resemblance which is made between a man and some other animal , by the common signs , will be defective , and signifie nothing , since it may be also made to another different species . nay , if the resemblance be made by signs proper to such a species , there will still be reason to question , whether those signs do determinately denote such an inclination , since it is to be conceiv'd , every animal hath several others . thus the figure , proper to a tygre , is , to have a very spacious mouth , short ears , and the skin spotted ; but this cannot design a particular inclination , in regard that being a strong , cruel , and indocible creature , it cannot be determined to which of these qualities that figure may have any correspondence . and therefore the antient physiognomists , could not , by this rule , make any judgment of the inclinations , whether they made use of those signs , which are common , or those which are proper to the animals . art. . how aristotle makes use of the second rule . it will be said , that , by this reason , aristotle destroys as well his own doctrine , as that of the antients , it being found , that , in other places , he makes use of this very maxime , that such , or such a figure denotes such , or such an inclination , and that this is applicable to lions , eagles , ravens , &c. it is true , that aristotle , in appearance , makes use of the same rule , but it is after another manner then the old physiognomists had done . for these consider'd not the marks and signs of animals ; and thereupon they concluded , that he who resembled them in that , had the same inclinations , as were found in the souls of those animals . on the contrary , aristotle considers not the signs as proper to the animals , but as proper to the inclinations ; which having not been observ'd by baldus , occasion'd that great person to fall into a manifest contradiction . and accordingly , he afterwards teaches , how that observation is to be made , and affirms , that we ought to consider several persons who have the same natural habit , such as may be , for example , fortitude , and mark , in what particular sign they agree : and it shall be found , that their resemblance will be in these particulars , in having the mouth large , and the extremities thick and strong . then you are to make your reflection on those creatures , which are known to be naturally strong , as lions , bulls , eagles , and tigres , and finding that all these kinds of animals have those parts after the same manner , it will be very probably judg'd , that they are the marks of strength or fortitude . but this is not yet sufficient , it is further requisite , that we examine , whether there may not be some other creatures , which , though they be strong , yet have not those marks : for if there be not , the sign is certain , otherwise , some doubt may be made of it . and the same course is to be taken , in order to the discovery of all the other inclinations . but after what manner soever we may make use of this rule , yet is it not of extent enough , to perform what may be made out by physiognomy , in regard there are but very few creatures , whereof we can have the knowledge of their particular inclinations , and the figure of the parts correspondent to those inclinations . so that it it is then only to be accounted certain , when it is confirmed by the others , and particularly by the syllogistical rule , which supplies the defect of these four . art. . what the syllogistical rule is . now , this syllogistical rule denotes the present inclinations and passions , in a way contrary to the others , in as much as it does not require proper signs , but , from an inclination and a passion known by those marks , it deduces the discovery of another , which hath not any . and this rule is grounded on the connexion there is , between the inclinations , the habits , and the passions . for one being the effect of the other , it may be judged , that a man hath an inclination to such a passion or habit , though there be not any sign proper thereto , and which may make any discovery of it , as being onely known , that the man hath that which is the cause of this . thus having once known , that a man is timorous , it may be said , that he hath a natural inclination to avarice , and consequently that he is a miser ; that he is guilty of artifices and dissimulation ; that his fearfulness causes him to speak with a certain mildness and submission ; that it renders him distrustfull , apt to suspect , hard of belief , a bad friend , &c. thus aristotle gives an example of this kind of judgment , affirming , that , if a man be subject to anger , and of small stature , he is envious . but i conceive there is an errour in the text , and that instead of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , which signifies little , it should be read 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , which is as much as froward , humoursome , and one who is not pleased at any thing , as we shall shew in its proper place . as to the other four rules , those which are taken from the air of the countenance , and the resemblance there may be between the sexes , are the most certain , and the most generally acknowledg'd . for there is hardly any sign but may be referr'd to them , as aristotle affirms ; 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . that of the climates is more generall then the other , which is taken from the resemblance of animals : but it is not so certain , in regard that all those who are of the same climate , are not of the same temperament , and have not the same conformation of parts ; and therefore this is no necessary consequence , that because a man is born in greece , he must be vain , unconstant , and a lyar : and so of the rest . chap. v. after what manner the art how to know men , makes use of the rules of physiognomy . art. . how the said art makes use of the first rule of that science . thus have we given an account of the means which physiognomy makes use of , in order to the discovery of the inclinations , and which the art we teach ought also to employ , in prosecution of the same design . but besides that there are some others besides those , and that it hath many more things to discover than the other , it will not propose its rules nakedly , as physiognomy hath done , but establish the grounds thereof , before they be reduced into practice . when therefore the first rule tells us , that those , who naturally have the same air , and the same characters attending the motion of a passion , are inclin'd to the same passion ; it is to be noted , that the ground on which this rule is establish'd , is the knowledge of the characters of the passions . for , it were to no purpose , to affirm , that he , who naturally hath the characters of anger , is inclin'd to anger , if it be not known , what the characters of anger are . this art therefore pretends to draw a pourtraiture of every passion in particular , to design the air and figure it gives to all the parts of the body , and all the motions it excites in the soul. for , besides what it will contribute to the design the art hath to make known the passions , which cannot remain secret after so many indicia given thereof ; it will also , by that means , declare those which are consequent one to another , and between which there is a connexion , the ground of the syllogistical rule ; and by degrees , make that rule conduce to the discovery of the passions . it must therefore divide the treatise of the characters , into two and twenty chapters , whereof the first eleven shall treat of the simple passions , comprehending among them desire , laughter , and weeping ; and the other eleven shall treat of the mixt passions , according to the order we have set down before . art. . how it makes use of the second rule . as to the second rule , which teaches , that those men , who have some parts resembling those of some other creatures , have the same inclinations with those creatures ; it is to be examin'd , what creatures those are , which may give a ground for this rule . for all are not fit to be admitted into that predicament , either in regard that sufficient observations have not been made of them , or that they are at too great a distance from the nature of man , as insects , serpents , fishes , &c. aristotle therefore in his physiognomy hath pitch'd upon twenty seven , to wit , fifteen four-footed beasts , and seaven volatiles . the former are the lion , the panther , the horse , the hart , the ox , the ass , the dog , the wolf , the swine , the goat , the sheep , the ape , the fox , the cat , and the frog . the other are , the eagle , the hawk , the cock , the raven , the quail , sea-fowl , and small birds . others have added to these , the owl , and the ostrich . it is therefore requisite , there should be so many chapters design'd , wherein must be treated , of the natures of these animals , and especially of those parts of them , whereto those of men may have any resemblance , and of the inclinations they denote . art. . how the said art makes use of the third rule . as to the third rule , which shews , that he , who hath any semblance to men of some other climate , hath the same inclinations as they have ▪ this is grounded on the figure of the body , and such inclinations of the soul , as that climate causes . but in asmuch as the climate is to be consider'd , not only by the position of the heavens , but also by the nature of the soil , by the scituation , by the winds reigning there , it is requisite in the first place to treat of that constitution of the body , and the inclinations , which a hot , dry , cold , or moist climate may cause ; and afterwards of those , which may proceed from a moist , or dry , fruitful or barren soil . in the third place , of that which is consequent to the scituation , as it is oriental or occidental ; high , or low ; maritime , or mediterranean . in fine , what contribution may be made thereto by the several winds , east , west , north and south . thence it must descend to the figure and manners of those nations , which depend partly on these causes , partly on the original of the people themselves , whereof they still retain some tincture , as also on the good or ill fortune which hath attended them , and causes them to change their former discipline , and their antient course of life . this treatise must needs be long , and will require great pains to bring it to a period . for , besides that there must be some reason given of the particular figure of every people , and its inclinations , which is a thing very hard to do , it must also give an account of the laws , which are proper thereto , in regard that the law , as plato sayes , is the finding out of truth ; all sorts of laws being not convenient for all manner of nations , but only such as are conformable to their natural dispositions ; and he who hath lighted on that conformity and correspondence , hath met with truth . but howere it may be , this discourse is to be divided into so many chapters , as there are climates , and those subdivided again into so many sections , as there be nations inhabiting each of them . art. . how the said art makes use of the fourth rule . the fourth rule teaches us , that those men who have any thing in their countenances approaching the beauty of women , have the same inclinations as they have , and on the contrary . this is grounded on the beauty , which is peculiarly answerable to either sex , as also upon the inclinations , which are natural to each of them . it is therefore requisite , there should be a discourse concerning beauty , and that it should be divided into two treatises ; whereof the former shall shew how all the parts ought to be made which frame the beauty of man , and the inclinations attending it . and the other is to give a particular account of the parts whereof the beauty of the woman consists , and the inclinations correspondent to her sex. all this shall be treated in fifty chapters , there being no less then twenty five parts in each sex , whereby they are represented as differing one from the other ; the colour and proportion , which ought to be between them , being comprehended therein . art. . why the art how to know men treats of the temperaments . but in regard these two last rules are principally grounded on the temperament , before we come to the examination of them , it is requisite there should be a previous treatise of the temperaments , and a discovery made of the inclinations , which each of them causes in the soul , and the figure it gives to the parts of the body . and this is to be done in fifty two chapters , wherof the first sixteen shal treat of the temperaments which are conformable to the whole body ; and the other thirtysix , of those of the nobler parts . for there are some principal temperaments correspondent to the four humours , when they are only predominant , to wit , the sanguine , the cholerick , the melancholick , and the flegmatick ; then each of these hath some one of the other humours predominant under it , as the cholerick-sanguine , the melancholick-sanguine , &c. and that makes up the number of sixteen . in fine , every noble part is either temperate , or hot , cold , dry , or moist ; or is hot and moist , hot and dry , cold and moist , cold and dry . so that there being four noble parts , and each of those having nine differences of temperaments , all put together , make up two and fifty kinds of temperaments which must be known , in order to a judgment of the inclinations . art. . that there are other rules besides those of physiognomy , whereby the inclinations may be discover'd . thus is it , that the art how to know men makes use of the rules of physiognomy , for the discovery of the inclinations , and how , upon small foundations , it designs the greatest superstructure , whereof science ever attempted the carrying on . but it does not think that sufficient , as having added thereto some other means whereof physiognomy makes no advantage . for , besides that it makes the very effects of the inclinations to contribute to the discovery of them , to wit , the desire of doing the actions , and the pleasure there is in doing them often ; it being a thing out of all dispute , that if a person be observ'd to be often desirous to do the same thing , or that he does it many times with a certain pleasure , it is a certain sign of the inclination he hath thereto . besides this , i say , it very advantageously makes use of the remote causes , whereof we have made mention before ; for though the judgments , which may be deduced from them , be not absolutely certain , yet do they either fortifie or weaken those , which proceed from the next causes , which are , as we said , the instinct , the temperament , and the conformation of the parts . accordingly , if a man be of such a temperament and conformation , as may be proper for courageous actions , and that he be withall a person well descended , that he be young , fortunate , and rich ; that he have some military imployment , and that he be of a warlike nation , it is certain , that the judgement which may be made of his being inclin'd to courageous actions shall be more creditable , then if those circumstances did not occur . but if with that fortunate constitution , he be of a mean extraction , if he be poor and unfortunate , and stricken in years , if he be of a profession that abates his courage , and keeps it down ; if he be of a climate over-hot , or over-moist , the inclination which nature hath bestow'd on him to courageous actions shall be much weakned by these causes , how remote soever they may be , and the judgment to be made thereof ought to be the more reserv'd . it is therefore necessary that there should be a previous knowledge of the inclinations , which these causes produce , that they should be compar'd together , and that it be examin'd how far they fortifie or weaken the others . whence it comes , that , having treated of the inclinations of the inhabitants in general , it must discourse of those of children , young persons , perfect men , and old men . thence it must descend to the moral causes , which are in number seventeen ; to wit , nobleness and meanness of birth , wealth and poverty , soveraignty and subjection , prosperity and adversity , and the course of life , to wit , the art milita●y , medicine , musick , hunting , dancing , philosophy , mathematicks , the study of the laws , oratory and poetry , observing the inclinations and manners which accompany each of these professions : so that this will be the work of one and twenty chapters . and after all these disquisitions , it may well be confident , that it is able to discover , not only the present inclinations , but also those which are past , and those which may yet be to come , through the change , which either hath been , or shall be made , in the temperament and the moral causes . chap. vi. how the actions and motions of the soul are known . the next work of our art how to know men must be , to shew how the actions and motions of the soul are to be known , we mean not those which are evident and manifest ; for it were ridiculous to give rules , to find out , whether a man be in anger , when he is seen transported with the fury , which that passion inspires ; or whether he be sad , when he complains , and laments , and seems to be over-whelm'd with affliction . but in regard there are some passions , which are to be foreseen before they are framed ; and that of those which are so , there are some that are not produc'd to any great height , as hatred : that some of them are theatrical and feigned , as those of flatterers ; nay , that there are some cloak'd with contrary appearances , as when a man would have it thought he loves another person , though he hates him ; when one makes shew of a certain joy , when he hath much ado to smother his grief ; in fine , designs closely carried on , secret actions , the unknown authors of known actions : all these things , i say , are the main subject of the art we speak of , and the rules it gives for the knowledge of them . and no doubt but there are such rules , since there is not any thing considerable fram'd in the mind , which may not be discover'd by the countenance , by a mans words , by the effects , and some circumstances , from which there may certain , or , at least , very probable conjectures be deduc'd . art . that there are two kinds of actions . be it observed then , that there are , generally speaking , two kinds of actions ; some simple and plain , and such as they appear to be ; others , deceitful , and cloak'd with dissimulation . all the difficulty to be overcome in the former , is , to discover the end for which they are done . for , in every action , there is alwaies the apparent and manifest motion , which is the matter , and as it were the body of the action ; and the intention , which is the form ; and ▪ as it were ; the soul of the action , and that is ever obscure and hidden . thus when there is a necessity of fighting against the enemies of the state , the act of fighting is the matter of the action , and is evident ; but the end and intention of it is a secret , in regard it is not known , whether it be for honour , or advantage , whether it be done out of force or by example , &c. there will be therefore a particular chapter for discovery of the ends and intentions of the actions . art. . of dissimulation . as concerning the other actions , which are cloak'd and cover'd with dissimulation , the discovery of them is much more difficult , for that difficulty occurs not only in the body of the action , but also in the end of it , which is shrowded in divers pretences . and among actions , the external may be disguis'd under contrary appearances ; and the internal , which are the thoughts and the passions , may be easily dissembled . besides , dissimulation insinuates it self into the words , the countenance , and the effects , whether it makes its advantage of them distinctly , or altogether , as we shall shew more at large in the treatise of dissimulation . now the means , whereby the art , we teach , pretends to the discovery of it , are twelve in number . the first is , to examine the dissimulation by it self , and to see whether there be any likelihood or probability , the thing should be as it is pretended ; whether the countenance of the dissembler belyes his words , and whether the effects are consonant , or contrary one to another . the second , to oblige him who hath been caught in it , to discover it himself by fair words and persuasions . . to oblige him to it by punishments . . by rewards . . by present punishments or rewards . . by a threatning of future punishments , and promises of future rewards . . by importunity . . by wine and good-fellowship . . by a consideration of the person who acts , as whether he be of a timorous or confident disposition , whether he have the reputation of being sincere , or be a noted dissembler , whether he be an inferiour person who speaks , &c. . by a like consideration of the person against whom the dissimulation is acted , as whether he be one who is dreaded , whether a prince , master , &c. . there is yet a further way of discovering the dissimulation , by a sudden motion of some passion , which breaks forth , and betrayes what is in the soul , such as may be that of anger . . the same discovery may be made by a sudden sally of joy. and upon all these several means , there are certain particular rules , which shall be explicated in so many chapters . art. . how actions may be foreseen . but we now come to examine , whether there be any rules , whereby the actions of the mind , and the passions of the soul , may be foreseen , before they are fram'd ; and whether it may be affirm'd , that , upon such or such an occasion , a man will have rational apprehensions , if he should chance to be transported with anger , or fall into fear , &c. as to the actions of the mind , as they must be necessarily conformable to the strength or weakness of the faculties , whereby they are produc'd ; so is it certain , that a man , who shall have the organs , subservient to those faculties , well or ill dispos'd , shall have good or bad productions of the mind , and that it may be assur'd , that , when he shall be oblig'd to the reception of some sentiment , or to speak of some affair , he will judge and speak of it , according to the capacity , which the world was persuaded he had , as we have said elsewhere . the habit and inclination do the like ; for if it be known a man is just , magnificent , valiant , &c. it will be undoubtedly said , that , when any occasion shall present it self , his sentiments will be consonant to the vertue and inclination he hath . art . how the passions may be foreseen . but as to the passions , there cannot so certain a judgment be made of them , and it may only probably be said , that a man will be transported with anger , and suffer himself to be carry'd away with vanity , or some other passion , in regard that reason and the study of philosophy may keep him in , and correct the dispositions which he might have to those passions . nay , there is this further consideration to be made , in reference to these motions , that they are two-fold , primary , and secondary . the primary or first motions hurry us away like torrents , and , as it is commonly said , come not within the jurisdiction of reason . the others are not so impetuous , and admit of some time to consider them ; and therefore they may be the more easily check'd . but they are withall more hardly discoverable , in as much as they are more easily corrected ; whereas the judgment , which may be made of the former , is more certain , it being very hard , that the habit should be so perfect , as that it might divert nature from those first assaults , and break that strong connexion , which is between the inclination and the action . we are to make this further observation , that , of the passions , there are some may be called the principal and predominant , & others , which are only the companions & attendants of the former . when a man is angry , his predominant passion is anger , as being that which hath possess'd it self of all his soul , and whereto are referred all the other passions , which are framed afterwards , as arrogance , insolence , obstinacy , &c. in like manner , sadness , or grief is the predominant passion in him who is afflicted ; but fear , languor , sloath , superstition , are its attendant passions in fine , there is not any one of them , which , when it is fram'd in the soul , does not call some others to its assistance and relief ; so that , the predominant passion once known , there 's no doubt but the others are wayting on it . but in regard the connexion there is between them , may be stronger or weaker , and that there are some , whereof the consequence is as it were necessary , and others , wherein it is only contingent , ( for languor , or dejection of spirit , and sloath , are in a manner necessarily attendant on sadness ; but superstition does not alwaies follow it . ) whence it may be thence inferr'd , that the knowledge had of the former is more certain , and that of the contingent , doubtful . let us therefore conclude , that there are two waies , principally , whereby future passions may be foreseen , to wit , the inclination , and the connexion there is between the passions . whereto may be added , the strength or weakness of his mind , who is to resent it , and the greatness of the good or evil , which is to happen to him . for if it be known , that a man is to receive a great injury , and that he be a person of a weak spirit , some will not stick to affirm , that he will be overcome by the passion of anger . art. . whether contingent actions may be foreseen . it will peradventure be objected against us , that there is not any certain knowledge of things to come , which are contingent , in regard they may equally either happen or not happen : otherwise , if a certain judgment could be made thereof , they would not be contingent . the answer to this objection , which is made against all the sciences of divination , is this , that there are two sorts of contingents , some , which have a natural and regulated cause , whereby , according to the common order of things , they ought to be produced . others have no regular cause , but a fortuitous or free , as those things that happen by hazzard , or the election of the will. those last are purely contingent , and cannot be determinately known any way whatsoever . but the former are not purely contingent , and the knowledge had of them may be certain in the sequel of things , as not differing from that of things necessary , save only in this , that their causes may be prevented from producing their effects . the actions and passions of the soul are of that kind , in as much as there is a connexion between them and the faculties , the inclinations and the habits : for they are effects , which , by ordinary consequence , depend on those causes ; and though some of these effects be free , yet are they not absolutely such , when they proceed from the said causes , and that these concurr with the freer cause , such as is the will. chap. vii . how the habits may be known . art. i. of the discovery of the moral habits . in order to our satisfaction , whether the habits are discoverable or not , we are to remember , that there are two kinds of them , the intellectual , and the moral , and that these latter are more easily known then the intellectual . for it is more easie to judge whether a man be just or temperate , then whether he be a physician or mathematician . the reason , given of this difference , is , that the intellectual habits make not any impression on the body , and consequently leave no sensible mark , whereby they might be known . but i do not conceive this reason solid enough , in regard the moral habits do not also make any manifest impression on the body , no more then the intellectual . it is therefore more to our purpose to affirm , that the moral habits are more certainly known , because the moral inclinations are determinated to certain passions , which , often reiterated , produce habits . and whereas there are few who resist their inclinations , by reason of the difficulty and trouble it is to change them , and that every one commonly does what is most easie and delightfull to him : it thence proceeds , that the knowledge had of the inclinations , which is well grounded , and certain , enables us to make a more probable judgment of the habits , whereby they are attended . art. . how the intellectual habits may be known . but the case is otherwise in the intellectual habits , in regard the understanding is not determinated to any one art or science , rather than another . and though that , of these , some have a greater conformity to the imagination , then they have to the judgment or memory , yet the great number there is of them leaves the mind , which cannot be naturally determinated to one more then another , in a certain indifference . for it may be said , that a man is fit for poetry , painting , or musick , by reason of his having a strong imagination , and not the like for medicine , policy , and the other sciences , which require a greater portion of judgment . yet can it not be affirm'd , that he is effectually a poet , a painter , or a musician , in regard the inclination he hath to the functions of the imagination renders him equally fit for either of them . whereas on the contrary , the moral inclinations are determinated to certain passions , and those passions to particular habits . whence it may be affirm'd , from the knowledge had of the inclinations , that a man is endu'd with such a vertue , or subject to such a vice ; and it seldom happens that one is mistaken in those judgments , for the reasons alledged . there is therefore a discovery made of vertues and vices , by the means of the inclinations which are known ; and it is the onely expedient that physiognomy makes use of . but our art hath some other , from which a greater certainty may be derived . of these , the first is , to know the end of the actions , which consists in a free , perfect , and absolute election ; for he who acts by the direction of that , must necessarily act by vertue of some habit . secondly , the excess and defect of the passions , in reference to the objects ; for he who is often angry , and that in a higher degree then he ought , must infallibly be adjudg'd to have the habit of anger . thirdly , the perseverance which any person is found guilty of , in any passion . lastly , the effects , which the vertues and vices produce in the soul and body . and these frame the characters of the vertues and vices , which are to be described , according to the order we have set down before . chap. viii . of astrological signs . besides the natural signs , whereof we have already treated , there are yet others , which are called astrological signs , in regard it is pretended , that the body receives the impressions of them from the starrs and celestial configurations . these consist , for the most part , in certain lines , which are principally to be observ'd in the fore-head , and the hands , and are imagin'd , to be the effects of the planets predominant over those parts . from some observations which have been made thereof , there are two arts fram'd , metoposcopy , and chiromancy , or palmistry ; the former whereof considers the signs which the starrs have imprinted in the forehead , and the other , those imprinted in the hands . it is our work to examine , whether there be any truth in either of them : for if any knowledge of the inclinations and the motions of the soul may be deduced from them , as they boast there may , the art we teach ought not to slight them ; nay , 't is requisite it should accept of their assistance , since they are engag'd in the same design , and that nothing is to be omitted , which many contribute to the discovery of a thing , so intricate as the heart of man is . but if they have not any thing of certainty , and that they are onely the recreations , or , possibly , dreams and reveries , which the spirit of man imagines to it self , either by way of delight , or through mistake , our art ought to discard them as vain , superfluous , and superstitious sciences , not worthy to be admitted into the society of those of nature , or to busie the thoughts of any man that pretends ever so little to ratiocination . let us therefore begin with chiromancy , for it is better known then metoposcopy , and seems to have more evident principles , which may be more easily established , nay , such as , if they prove true , will serve for a ground-work to the other . yet shall i not put my self to the trouble of any other discourse thereof , then what shall be contain'd in two letters , which i have already communicated to the publick , since they are pieces , which make up part of the design of this work , and which the impatience of a friend prevail'd with me to take off from the rest , to satisfy his curiosity . i shall not now abate so much as the civilities i thought myself oblig'd to render him , nor yet the precautions wherwith i would have secur'd myself against my readers . for , though that contributes nothing to my design , yet will it afford those some diversion who shall take the pains to read it , and give them the same pleasure , which is sometimes deriv'd from the sight of a strange ornament , or some antique mode , unexpectedly brought upon the stage . the first letter to monsievr b.d.m. upon the principles of chiromancy . sir , when you press me to put into writing the discourse we had together concerning chiromancy , and endeavour to perswade me , that it were an injury to the publick , to deprive it of the arguments you heard me make upon that subject , i reflect on the intreaty which socrates's friends sometime made to him , that he would suffer his picture to be taken , and the confusion he conceiv'd hereat , after he had satisfy'd their desires . for before that was done , there was no great notice taken of the defects which nature had imprinted in his face , and people began not to heed them , and withall , to reproach him therewith , till after they were represented upon the cloath . the same thing , no doubt , will happen to me , when i shall put into writing the discourses , whereof you assure me , that you were not displeas'd at the recital . they will come to you with this disadvantage now , that they are not attended with that grace of novelty which they had then ; they will not he accompany'd with the pleasure of walking , and the conversation which then rendred them agreeable ; and appearing before the eyes , whose judgment is much more severe then that of the ears , the defects there may be in them will soon be observ'd , and give me the shame and regret of having obey'd you . nay , what must be my doom , when i shall have other judges then your self , from whose friendship i derive a confidence of some favour , and whose curiosity for these kinds of sciences may abate somewhat of your severity ? and what reception can i expect , when i shall find the more ingenious part of the world prepossess'd with this opinion , that they are vain studies , and all their principles , all their promises , delusive and imaginary ? but , maugre all these hazzards , wherein you engage me , i am resolv'd to endeavor the satisfaction of your desires , and reduce , to a more serious examination , the things which i entertain'd you with only by way of divertisement . for if upon this second trial you shall make of them , you shall find them of good alloy , i shall not question , but they both may , and ought to go for current , in the commerce of learning . and certainly , if there be any thing rational in the conjectures i have made , nay , if they do but raise the distrust of a truth not yet fully known , it is just the publick should participate thereof , for the excitation of those who make it their business to search after the miracles which god hath been pleas'd to shut up in man , to make a greater discovery of this in particular , and to add thereto their observations , which may possibly compleat what i have only begun . for how poor & low an esteem soever we may have for chiromancy , yet may philosophy find in it some things not unworthy her highest and noblest contemplations . she thinks it no disparagement to her , to descend to the most obscure arts , to clear up their principles ; and as the light of the sun fastens it self on the most impure things , yet is not corrupted thereby , and from them draws those vapours , which it raises up into the highest regions of the air : so philosophy , without any derogation from her dignity , condescends even to the lowest effects of art & nature , and thence derives such discoveries as she does not think unworthy a place among her most sublime speculations . and no doubt , though i do not pretend my self one of those , by whom she should execute so great designs ; i may however think , that i have met with something , which may not be unworthy of her cares , and such as should not only satisfie their curiosity who are lovers of chiromancy , but also be advantageous to physick . for if i can make good this principle , that every noble part of the body hath a certain place in the hand which is appropriated to it , and with which it hath a particvlar connexion and sympathy , besides that , it will make very much for that disposition of the planets , which the said science hath appropriated to the same places , and upon which it lays the main foundation of all its rules , there may be strong presumptions deduc'd thence , to conclude , that the good or bad disposition of the principles of life may be discover'd in the hand ; and that between the other parts of the body , there are as well as in this , certain resemblances and sympathies , which depend not on either the distribution of the vessels ▪ or their structure , but on a secret influence , which contributes to their union and association . and this will be no inconsiderable secret , in order to the opening of the veins , and the application of remedies , in certain places , as we shall shew hereafter . my work therefore , in this place , shall be to make good the said great principle . for to descend to the particular rules of that science , and to give the reasons thereof , as you have heard me do of some of them ; besides , that it were a disrespect to the severity of philosophy , for a man to amuse himself about things , which , for the most part , are either false or uncertain , as being not confirm'd by just observations , would be too great a flattery of their simplicity , who give them more credit then they deserve , and a mis-expence of that precious time , which other employments challenge . but to prevent your complaint of this abatement , i shall add to the discourse , wherewith i formerly entertain'd you , the reasons which rais'd in me the first suspicion , that there might be some truth in chiromancy ▪ and that the grounds of it might be more certain , then many do imagine . and i doubt not but these reasons of mine will , in like manner , prevail wi●h all those who shall consider them without prejudice , in as much as the very same thing , which should have brought it into suspicion , and deterr'd those who were inclin'd to the study of it , plead for it , and invite to the knowledge thereof . to make this out , it is to be observ'd , that the first and principal ground of chiromancy , is the disposition of the planets , which it hath diversly placed in the hand : for it hath put jupiter in the fore-finger , called also index ; saturn , on the middle-finger ; the sun , on the ring-finger ; mercury , on the little-finger ; venus , on the thumb ; mars , on the palm of the hand ; and the moon , on the lower part of it . this foundation , i say , which inverts the natural order of the planets , and consequently , seems rather to be the effect of the extravagance of the first inventors of this science , then of any reason they might have to rank them after that manner , is so far from bringing it into any mistrust of falsity , that , in my judgment , it is one of those things which have brought into question the truth there may be in it . for there is a kind of necessity , that the mind of man , which is so much in love with proportion , and which , where-ever it can bring it in , never fails of adorning and enriching its imaginations therewith , should not without cause have omitted it here , and that it hath been constrained , by the certainty of the experiences it hath made , to change the order of the planets , which it hath so exactly observ'd in metoposcopy , and in a thousand other occurrences , wherein it hath had the freedom , to make application thereof . and no doubt , had it been a pure imag●nation , it had been more easie and more rational to have plac'd saturn on the fore-finger , jupiter on the middle , mars on the next , the sun on the little finger , and so to have follow'd the order , which those planets observe among themselves , then to transpose them , as they now are . or , if there had been a necessity of this transposition , me-thinks it would have been more pertinent , to have the greatest finger govern'd by the greatest of those celestial bodies , or to have assign'd it that which is more apt to motion , then the ring finger is , which is both less , and less active . so that there is a great probability , that so extraordinary a disposal of the planets is not the production of their pure fancies , who first spent their endeavours in that science , but rather of the necessity , which oblig'd them to follow the reasons and experiences , whereby they discover'd that truth . but the observation which aristotle hath given us , in his history of animals , adds much to this suspicion . for , in that incomparable work , wherein it may be said , that nature hath discover'd and explicated her self , he affirms , that there are , in the hand , certain lines , which , according as they are long or short , denote the length or shortness of man's life . and this being one of the first rules of chiromancy , it is to be presum'd , that that science was not unknown to him , and that so great a person would not have shuffled into a history , which was to be one of the noblest draughts of nature , a doubtfull thing , and such as he was not confident of the truth of . and that , if it be certain , as experience hath since confirm'd , there is no rational person , but will conclude , that the hand ought to have a stricter connexion with the principles of life , then any of the other external parts , wherein there are no such marks to be found ; that those marks are certain effects which should make a discovery of the good or bad disposition of the principles , from which they proceed ; and , in a word , that there are in that part such miracles , as are not yet fully known , and that if the knowledge thereof could be attain'd , there would haply be acquir'd that which chiromancy does so much pretend to . add to this , that he who shall take notice , that the lines , which are in the hands , are different in all men ; that in the self-same person , they are chang'd at certain periods of time , and that all this diversity cannot proceed from any internal cause , to us yet known , will , in all likelihood , be forc'd to acknowledge , that all those characters are the effects of some secret , influence by which they are imprinted in that particular part ; and that , nothing being superfluously done in nature , they have their particular use , and do denote , if not any thing else , at least this , to wit , the alteration , which happens in the principles , whereby they are produc'd . for to make these impressions relate to the articulations , and the motions of the hand , as some have done , is a thing which cannot be maintain'd ; since the articulations are equal in all men , who nevertheless have all their lines unequal ; that there are many hands , wherein there is not any articulation at all , as in the space which lies between the joints of the fingers : that children newly born , who have their hands shut all after the same manner , without making in a manner any motion , have nevertheless many lines , which are different in every one of them : that those who exercise the same art , and consequently ought , as neer as may be , to use the same motions , have them nevertheless as different , as if they were of contrary professions : that , in the self-same person , they are chang'd , though there be not any change in his course of life : and lastly , that in the forehead , where there is not any articulation , and which part all men move after the sa●● manner , there are also such lines , wherein may be observ'd the same diversity , as in those of the hand . we may further add to these considerations the great antiquity of the science of chiromancy , which must needs have been studied before aristotle's time , in as much as what he sayes , of the lines of the hand , is one of its observations and rules ; the work it hath found so many learned men , who search'd into the secrets of it , and have honour'd it by their writings : and lastly , the admirable judgments which have been made according to its maximes . for it is a thing comes not much short of astonishment , that , of forty and five persons whom cocles had foreseen , by his art , to be subject to dye violent deaths , cardan observ's , that there were but two of them living in his time , to whom that misfortune had not hapned . but to come to a free acknowledgement of the truth , all these , as we have already observ'd , are but so many slight suspicions , which conclude not for the certainty of this science . for as to the order of the planets , which it hath chang'd , it gives a great presumption , that it hath not been done without some reason : but the question remains still undecided , to wit , whether it be true , that those celestial bodies have any kind of power or influence over the hand , and whether any one of them have some particular place assign'd it therein ? the authority of aristotle may also be question'd , and all this diversity of lines may proceed from other causes , and have other uses , different from those appropriated thereto by chiromancy . moreover , how ancient soever that science may be , it makes not much for its certainty , since there are ancient errours , whereby all the precedent ages have been abused : and though many great wits have thought it not unworthy their study , yet have there been , in all times , some , who have employ'd their endeavors about curiosities , as vain , as possibly this may be . in fine , all the testimonies and examples , which are commonly produc'd , in defence of it , can pretend to no more weight and validity , then those brought for geomancy , onomancy , and other arts of divination , all which are imaginary and superstitious , and yet neither want patrons to protect them , nor fail of success in the judgments , which are made by them . on the other side , neither do all these reasons absolutely condemn it , and make not any otherwise against it , then in that they render it doubtful , leaving the inquisitive person in an uncertainty , what he ought to believe , and continuing him in the desire of being satisfi'd therein . now the only means to attain that satisfaction , is to examine the principles of it , and to see whether there be any reasons , whereby they may be maintain'd . for if any of them be certain , and well grounded , there is not , in my judgment , any rational person , who joyning the precedent suspitions with the truth of these principles , but will acknowledge , that if the science , which hath been built thereupon , is not arriv'd to the highest degree of certainty , it may come to it in time , by the diligent and exact observations , which are yet to be added thereto : and that if it cannot promise as much as astrology pretends it should discover by the stars , which it hath plac'd in the hand , it may at least judge of the good or bad disposition of the interiour parts , between which and it there is an undeniable sympathy , and , by that means , conduce very much to the conservation and continuance of health , and the curing of diseases . for when it shall be confin'd within these limits , and quit all other pretences , it will still be a very considerable science , and such as , for the excellency of its discoveries , and the advantage may be made thereof , might be worthy the curiosity of the severest philosophers , and all those who make it their business to enquire into the wonderful things of nature . these are the considerations which i had , before i fell to examin the principle before-mentioned , which is the main foundation , on which the disposal of the planets , into several parts of the hand , is built , and in a manner , the only source , from which , all the judgments which chiromancy can promise , are deduced . the method i have observ'd therein , is , according to the subsequent articles , to shew , . that , of situations , some are more noble then others . . that the nobler situations are design'd for the more excellent parts , and that the excellency of the parts is deduc'd from the advantage they bring along with them . . what advantages may be deduced from the hands . . that the right hand is more noble then the left. . that motion begins on the right side . . that the hands have the greatest portion of the natural heat . . that the hands have a greater communication with the nobler parts . . that some secret vertues are convey'd from the nobler parts into the hands . . that nature does not confound the vertues , and consequently . that the vertues of the nobler parts are not receiv'd into the same places of the h●nd . . that there is a sympathy between the liver and the fore-finger . . that there is a sympathy between the heart and the ring-finger . . that there is a like sympathy between the spleen and the middle-finger . . that there is a sympathy between all the interiour parts and the other parts of the hand . . that the face is an epitome of all the exteriour parts . . that there is a mutual sympathy between all the parts ; and , . that the distribution of the veins made by hippocrates , for the discovery of that sympathy , was not understood either by aristotle or galen . . whence proceeds the regularity which nature observes in her evacuations . . that the planets have a certain predodominancy over the several parts of the hand . . that the planets have also a predominacy over the interiour parts . . that the moon hath such a predominancy over the brain . . that the sun hath the like predominancy over the heart . . that the other planets have the government of the other interiour parts . . that the principles establish'd regulate many doubtful things in chiromancy . art. . that , of situations , some are more noble then others . that we may therefore give a solid beginning to this disquisition , it is to be observ'd , that there are three orders of situation , wherein all the parts of animals , the heart only excepted , are placed ; to wit , above and beneath , right and left , before and behind . but these are not all equal as to their origine and dignity , and there is a diversity of perfection , not only among them , but also between the tearms and differences , whereof they consist . for before and behind are more noble then right and left , and these last , more noble then above and beneath ; but further , before is more noble then behind , right , then left ; and above , then beneath . the reason of this diversity proceeds , in the first place , hence , that these three orders of situation , are answerable to the three dimensions , observable in every natural body , to wit , length , bredth , and depth , as these last are answerable to the three kinds of quantity , which are admitted in every mathematical body , to wit , line , superficies , and solid . for the line makes the length , and the length produces above and beneath : from the superficies comes bredth , and from this last right and left ; and the solid body produces depth , as depth does before and behind . now as the line is more simple , and , by nature , precedent to the superficies , and this last to the solid body ; in like manner length naturally precedes bredth , and this last , profundity . accordingly the order of situation of above and beneath is more simple , and previous to that of right and left , as this last is , in respect of before and behind . so that nature alwaies making her progress , from those things , which are in a lower , to such as are in a higher degree of perfection , it follows , not only that the line and length , are less perfect then solidity and profundity ; but also ▪ that the same diversity is found in the orders of situation , which are answerable to every one of them : and that consequently , that of before and behind is the most noble ; that of right and left , next ; and that of above and beneath least of all , as being the first , and simplest of all . in effect , we see that all these things have been distributed to bodies , according to the excellence they severally ought to have . for those which have life do in the first place grow in length , and as they advance towards perfection , they acquire bredth and profundity . plants have indeed the situation of above and beneath , but are destitute of right and left , before and behind : only living creatures are endued with these last differences ; nay , there are some of these , which have them not all , that being a priviledge reserv'd for those , which have the parts better distinguish'd , and whose motions are more regular . yet is it to be affirm'd from what hath been said , that all these kinds of situation may not be found in purely-natural bodies , but they are uncertain and accidental ; as not having any principle , whereby they are limited and determined , and it is only by way of reference to things animate , that they are admitted to be in them . for what is the above and the before of a pillar , may as well be the beneath and the behind of it , and he who is on the right hand of it , may be placed on the left , yet without any change of place . but the case is not the same in things living and animate , wherein all the differences of situation , which the parts have , are unchangeable , as being fix'd and determinated , by the vertues and operations of the soul . and thus far of the kinds of situation , compar'd among themselves . but he who shall think fit to consider the tearms and differences , whereof each of them consists , will further find , that there is still some one of them more noble then another , in as much as one is the principle of another , and that the principle is more excellent then that which depends on it . for the above is the principle of the beneath , the right of the left , and the before of the behind . and indeed the beginning is a kind of principle , and the beginning of the three principal operations of the soul is wrought in these three differences of situation . for nutrition begins by the above , motion by the right , and sentiment by the before . and accordingly the mouth , which is the first receptacle of the aliment , from whence it is afterwards distributed all over the body , makes the above in all animals , as the root makes it in all plants . whence it comes , that the latin tongue calls those roots which are deepest in the earth , high . and it is commonly said , that man is a tree inverted , not upon this accompt , that his hair , which hath some resemblance to the roots , is above , and those below ; but because he hath his mouth directly opposite to that of trees : for it is not to be doubted , but that the root is the mouth of plants , since it is by that they receive their nourishment , and that it is thence convey'd to all the other parts . the sentiment also begins by the before ; for , the sense of touching only excepted , which it was requisite should be spread over all the parts of the animal , all the other senses are placed before , in regard it must have been the imployment of the senses , to conduct and regulate motion , which is alwaies made forward , and begins on the right side , as we shall shew hereafter . whence it follows , that the above , the right , and the before are the principles of the others , and that they are consequently more noble then they . art . that the nobler situations are design'd for the more excellent parts ; and that the excellency of the parts is deduc'd , from the advantage they bring along with them . now nature alwaies keeps to this maxime , that she disposes the most excellent things , into those places , which are most noble , as it may be observ'd in the order , wherein she hath put all the principal parts of the universe ; and consequently , it is requisite , that , in man , who is the epitome , and abbreviation , of the world the parts should be ranked conformably to their dignity ; and that it may be affirmed , not onl● that the most excellent are in the noblest situation but also , that those , which are in the noblest situation , are therefore the most excellent . for , it follows thence , that the hands , being plac'd in the upper part are more excellent then the feet , which are in the lower ; and the hand which is on the right side is more excellent , then that on the left . but whereas the excellency of the parts is deduc'd from the advantages they bring to the animal , we are to examine , in order to the prosecution of our design , what use the hands may serve for , wherein they are more serviceable then the feet , and what advantage the right hath over the left. art. . what advantages may be deduced from the hands . in the first place , it is certain , that all animals , which consist of blood , and , for that reason , have the denomination of perfect creatures , have been furnish'd with four organs , to facilitate their motion , from one place to another ; which organs are answerable to the four first differences of situation before-mentioned , to wit , above , beneath , right and left. for there have not been any instruments , which might be conceiv'd answerable to the two last , to wit , before and behind , there being not any perfect animal , which naturally moves backward , and the other organs being sufficient to carry on the motion , which is made forwards , as experience hath made apparent . this truth is evident , in all kinds of perfect creatures , since that most of the terrestrial have four feet ; volatiles have two feet and two wings ; the fishes have four finns , and serpents make four different folds or twinings . and all these parts are so absolutely necessary , in order to the progressive motion , which is natural to them , that if they wanted any one of them , it could not be performed without some trouble . for the volatiles are not able to fly when their legs are broken ; nor can the fish swim when they have lost any of their finns ; nor ●an the serpents crawl , it those parts of their bodies be cut off , which make the last twinings of their motion . from what hath been said , it may be concluded , that the hands , being of the same rank with instruments , which are design'd for progressive motion , do serve to promote that of man , and that if he were depriv'd thereof , he would not perform that motion with so much ease . for we find , that a man cannot run without much trouble , when his hands are bound ; as also that he shuts his fist when he goes to jump , and , in his ordinary gate , the arm still falls back , when the legg on the same side is put forward . to this may be added , that , in infancy , they do the office of feet ; that when one is fallen , he cannot well get up without them ; and that if one be to climb up , or come down some steepy places , they are no less serviceable then the legs . all which are evident signs , that these parts contribute much to the progressive motion of man. but whereas nature discovers a great frugality in all she does , and makes all the advantages she can of them , she does not content her self with this first imployment she hath impos'd upon the hands ; but she hath design'd them for so many other uses , as it is impossible to give a particular account of them all . so that thence came the necessity of making a comparison between them and the understanding , and affirming , that , as this latter is the form of forms , as having them all in its power ; in like manner , the hand is the instrument of instruments , as comprehending alone the vertue of all the rest . for it is by the hands that a man receives and retains those things which are necessary and delightful to him : by them it is , that he defends himself , and overcomes those things , that are hurtful and prejudicial to him . in a word , they are the principal agents , in the compassing of all arts , and the general utensils , employ'd by the mind , to bring to light the noblest , and most advantageous ●nventions . and no doubt , man derives so great an advantage from them , over all other animals , that if it cannot be affirm'd , as it was by that antient philosopher ; that he is wise , because he hath hands , this at least may be inferr'd , that he seems wise , because he hath hands . this premis'd , it is not to be admir'd the hands should be disposed into the upper part of man , as the more honourable place , and that nature should design their situation as neer as she could to the seat of reason and the senses , between them and which , there is so great a correspondence and connexion . art. . that the right hand is more noble than the left. but though nature hath plac'd the hands in the same rank , as to situation , yet are they not equal in point of esteem with her , in as much as she treats the right hard as the elder , and the first in dignity . for , if those things , which are most active , are consequently most excellent , and most considerable , it follows , that the right hand , being stronger , and more nimble then the lest , should also be more excellent then it . now , that it hath more strength and agility , is the consequence of its having more heat , which is the source of those qualities . and its having more heat , is again the consequence , not only of its being sited on the same side as the right ventricle of the heart , where the bloud is more hot and suming ; not onely of its being neer the liver , which is the spring of bloud ; not onely because the veins of all the parts on the right side are larger , as hippocrates affirms ; but also , by reason of its being plac'd on the right side , where motion hath its first beginning . for , as the spirits are the principal organs of all the actions of the body , and are by nature most abundantly sent , to those places , where they ought to be strongest and have most employment ; so is it not to be doubted ( since it is requisite , motion should begin on the right side , and that all the preparations necessary thereto , and the principal effort it requires , should be made in that part ) but that a greater quantity of spirits make their recourse thither , chafe , and fortifie it , by the heat they carry along with them , and by the secret influences of the vital principles , which they communicate thereto . thence it comes , that even those parts , which do not contribute any thing to motion , and are on that side , have a resentment of that force and vigour which was design'd for that sole action onely . for the right eye is stronger and surer then the left ; and the certitude of the sight , which is made by both together , absolutely depends on the former . all the organs subservient to generation , which are on that side , are apt to frame males , and those which are on the left , females . and , generally speaking , diseases commonly assault the parts on the left side , as such as , having least heat , are consequently the weakest . art. . that motion begins on the right side . now , that motion naturally begins on the right side , is a truth which cannot admit of any dispute , if we but take into our consideration , what passes in all animals . for those which have four feet do always begin to go by setting the right fore-foot foremost ; and others , which have but two , ever raise up the right foot first . burthens are better carried on the left shoulder then on the right , in regard it is requisite the principle of motion should be fre● and dis-engag'd : and painters never forget , in their pictures , when drawn to the full length , to dispose them into such a posture , as that the left legg stands foremost , as it is commonly seen in those that are standing , whereby the right is put into an aptitude to move , when they would go from the place where they are . nay , there are some creatures , which , having not been able , by reason of their figure , to receive the two differences of right and left , as the purple-fish , and all the others which have their shells after the form of a snail , have not nevertheless been depriv'd of that of right ; in regard that , it being necessary they should move , it was accordingly necessary , that they should have the principle of motion . all these truths therefore being thus establish'd , to wit , that there are some places and parts in the body , more or less noble ; that the more noble are design'd for the reception of the more excellent parts ; that the excellency of the parts is deriv'd from the advantage they bring along with them ; and consequently , that the hands , which , for the many several services they do , are plac'd in the upper part , as being the noblest place , ought to have the precedence , in point of excellency , of the feet . in the next place , it will be our business to shew , that the hands receive a more considerable assistance and relief , from the principles of life , and that all the nobler parts do communicate a greater vertue to them , then to any other whatsoever . art. . that the hands have the greatest portion of natural heat . to make good this assertion , we are , in the first place , to observe , that nature hath a greater care and tenderness for those parts , which are the more excellent ; that , ordinarily , she frames them first ; and that she uses more art in the making of them , and more providence in the conservation of them , then she does in others . this is apparent , in the order she observes in their first conformation : for , next the heart and brain , whereof she first makes a draught ; the eyes , which , without dispute , are the most delicate and noblest organs , appear before all the other parts , nay , indeed before there is any designation of the liver , the spleen , and the reins . the mouth , in all animals , is also one of the first parts that are framed next to the eyes : then may be seen the organs of progressive motion , and , after them , may be observ'd the liver , the spleen , and the other internal parts ; as the last and most exact observations of anatomy have discover'd . moreover , we find ▪ that the upper parts are soonest finish'd , and that , in children , they are bigger and stronger then the lower ; whence it comes , that they have all the same proportion , as is in the stature of dwarfs ; and that it is with some difficulty they are brought to go , in regard their leggs are too short , and too weak . now , it is certain , that all the care , which nature takes , whether in the framing of them first , or in promoting their perfection , depends on the natural heat , whereof she communicates a greater abundance to them . for that is the general instrument of all her actions , and the real subjunct , wherein all her faculties reside . so that , if there be any parts which are framed before others , it proceeds hence , that they must first have had their portions of that heat , which is always most pure , and efficacious in its source ; and if they are brought to perfection before the others , it must be attributed to this , that it is done by a particular application of that quality , acting there more powerfully then in any other part , and being , for that reason , continually supply'd by the influence of the spirits , which augment and fortifie it . whence it must follow , that the hands , which are framed before so many other parts , and are sooner advanced to perfection and accomplishment , then the feet , have accordingly had a more advantageous distribution of the natural heat , and a larger proportion of the spirits , then the other . art. . that there is a greater communication between the hands and the nobler parts . but if we would consider these parts , when they are arriv'd to a more perfect state , and in a time , when they are able to execute the principal functions , whereto they are design'd , we shall certainly find , that the heart , the liver , and the brain , do communicate to them a greater portion of vertue , then they do to any of the other parts . for , not to mention the actions of the natural and sensitive life , which are common to them , with the parts afore-mentioned , progressive motion is particularly reserv'd for them . so that , to perform that action , wherein there is more difficulty , and more strength requir'd , it is but just there should come to them a greater relief , and a stronger influence , from those principal members , then may be necessary for the other actions of life . it is accordingly requisite , that they should have more bloud , more heat , and more spirits ; more bloud , to render their consistence the more firm ; more vital heat , that they may be inspir'd with greater force , and a greater abundance of the animal spirits , to convey into them not onely sentiment , but also the motive faculty . for , without these conditions , those organs are of no advantage , and no motion can be made . in a word , since instruments are not instruments , but correspondently to the vertue they derive from the cause , whereby they are employ'd , it is necessary that those parts , which are the instruments of motion , s●●●●d accordingly receive , from the principles of motion , that vertue , whereby they are put in action . and thence it also follows , that they should have that vertue in a higher degree then others ; they should have more spirits , whereby it might be convey'd into them ; and consequently , there is a greater correspondence between them , and the nobler parts ; which are the sources of those spirits , and that vertue . this reason indeed is common to the hands and feet , that is , comparatively to the other parts ; but if we consider the great advantage , with the situation of the upper part hath over that of the lower , as also the excellency of the parts , which are placed in the former , and the particular care which nature takes , of them , as we have shewn already ; it will be apparent , that , in the said distribution of spirits and vertues , the hands have had the best share , and consequently , that there is a greater correspondence between them and the nobler parts , then there is between these last and the feet , or any other member whatsoever . art. . that some secret vertues are convey'd from the nobler parts into the hands . but besides this communication and correspondence , which there is betweeen the hands and the nobler parts , by means of the veins , arteries , and nerves , there are yet others more secret , such as have more obscure ways and passages , and yet much more clearly discover the truth we search after . for , if it be certain , that the lines of the hand denote the length and shortness of life , according as they are long or short of themselves , as aristotle and experience have taught us ; it is necessary , not onely that there should be a greater rapport , and a stronger connexion between it and the principles of life , then there is between them and all the other parts , where those marks are not to be found : but it is further necessary , that the nobler parts , which are the sources , wherein those principles are comprehended , should communicate to it some secret influence which must have no reference to the ordinary and manifest vertues it receives from them ; in as much as neither the bloud , nor the spirits , nor the heat , nor the motion , which they distribute and disperse into it , do not contribute ought to the making of the lines therein longer or shorter , or denoting the length or shortness of man's life . art. . that nature does not confound the vertues . this secret sympathy , which is between the hand and the nobler parts , being presupposed , at least , till such time as we shall have prov'd it more at large , by more full and particular observations , we shall lay it down , as a most certain principle , that nature does not confound the vertues , especially the formal and specifick , so there be ever so little opposition between them , and that she always distinguishes them , as much as lies in her power . for , not to bring on the stage the oaximes of astrologie , which hath divided the heavens into so many planets and starrs , into so many signs and houses , differing one from another in point of vertue ; there is not any order of things in the universe wherein this truth is not observable . for example , in perfect animals , the qualities necessary to generation have been divided between the two sexes ; in each of those , the faculties conducing to the government of life , have every one of them its particular seat ; and all the senses have their proper organs and distinct functions . nay , let us examine plants , minerals , and stones , and we shall find the same distinction ▪ and , not to descend to the particulars which might be instanced , we need only direct our observation to the load-stone , where it is so obvious to the sense , that , without blindness , or stupidity , it cannot be doubted of . for , in an homogenial body , the composition whereof is equal every where , and wherein it seems that all the parts should have one and the same power ; yet is it observ'd , that , of those parts , there are some , whereto the magnetick qualities have been particularly distributed , and that there are two poles , wherein they have been distinctly placed . and if what some persons of late pretend that they have made it their discovery , be true , to wit , that there is a fixt meridian in the said stone , it is requisite , that all the others should also be fixt , and consequently , they have each of them a different inclination . so true is it , that nature loves to distinguish the vertues , and so averse is she to the intermixture and confusion of them . and indeed , if she did not exactly proceed , according to this order , things would be done many times contrary to her design , one quality would destroy another , and the effects would not be answerable to their causes , nor to the end , whereto they are design'd . art. . that the vertues of the nobler parts are not receiv'd into the same places of the hand . if the case stand thus , and it be granted , that there are some particular vertues communicated from the nobler parts to the hand , it is requisite that they should not be confounded together , nor receiv'd into the same part of it ; and consequently , it is necessary , that there should be one place assign'd for that of the liver , another for that of the heart , and so of all the rest . but the main difficulty is , to find out , which those particular places and parts are , whereinto those influences are receiv'd . for though chiromancy assures us , that there is a sympathy between the fore-finger and the liver , between the middle-finger and the spleen , between the ring-finger and the heart , &c. yet does it not produce any convincing proof of this truth ; and as for the experiences it advances , for the confirmation thereof , they still leave those unsatisfy'd , who allow nothing to be granted , but what is back'd with sound reasons , and are look'd upon by them as so many reveries and extravagances of man's curiosity . but certainly , he who could make good this sympathy , by other observations , then those which may be deduc'd from chiromancy , and such as should be built upon medicine , or some other part of natural philosophy , might justly make it his boast , that he had discover'd the mysterie of this science , and that he had found out the onely ground , upon which the truth of all celestial configurations is supported for my part , i do not pretend that i can produce all those , which might be necessary , to make an absolute proof thereof ; yet dare i affirm , that i have some , which may , as it were , lay the foundations of such an eviction , and are such , as , having demonstrated some part of it , will leave an invincible presumption for the rest , and a hope , that it may be accomplish'd , after there hath been a carefull observation made of what happens to this admirable organ . art. . that there is a sympathy between the liver and the fore-finger . the first observation then , which we have to propose , is , to shew the communication and sympathy which is between the liver , and the finger , commonly called by the latines , index . it is deduc'd from medicine , which teaches us , that the leprozie hath its source and principal seat in the liver , and that one of the first signs it gives , whereby it may be discover'd , appears in that finger . for when all the muscles of the hand , and indeed , of all the body , are full and succulent , those which are subservient to the motion of that finger wither and dry up , especially that which is in the thenar , that is , in the space between the said finger and the thumb , where all that is fleshy is consum'd , and there remains onely the skin and the fibres , which lye flat to the bone . now this could not happen thus , if there were not some analogie , and secret correspondence , between the liver and that part , since it is one of the first that is sensible of the alteration which is wrought in its substance : it being a thing may be confidently affirm'd , that there is not any disease , which so much corrupts the nature of the liver , and destroys , not only its vertue , but also its substance , as this does ; which , upon that accompt , is called the universal cancer of the liver , and the whole mass of bloud . galen , no doubt , was ignorant of this sympathy , as being a thing which pure ratiocination could never have discover'd , when , to be inform'd thereof , it was requisite it should be reveal'd to him in a dream . for he relates , that , being troubled with a violent pain , which put him into a fright of being troubled with an imposthume in the liver , he had an advice in his sleep , to open the artery which runs along that finger , and that the said remedy immediately appeas'd the pain , whereto he had been subject a long time before . which is a manifest sign , that there is a particular communication between those two parts , and a certain secret friendship and combination , whereby they are united together . art. . that there is a sympathy between the heart and the ring-finger . the second observation shall be , to shew , that there is sympathy between the heart and the fourth finger , which , in regard rings are worn on it , is commonly called the ring-finger . for it is a thing cannot be reflected on without something of wonder , that , when the gout falls into the hands , that finger is the last which it fastens upon : and levinus relates , that , in all those whom he met with troubled with that disease , the fourth finger of the left hand , that is , the ring-finger , was ever free from it , while all the others were extremly subject to pains and inflammations . now , whereas the parts make a stronger or weaker resistance against diseases , according to the greater or lesser force they have , and that their force depends on the greater or lesser degree of natural heat which is in them , it must needs be inferr'd , that that finger must have more of it then any of the others , since it makes a greater resistance against the evil , then they do . and whereas the distribution of the natural heat proceeds either from the first conformation of the parts , or from the influence communicated to them by the principle of heat ; and that there is no probability , the said finger , having the same structure and composition with the rest , should have a greater portion then they of that fixt and original heat , whereof there is a distribution made at the birth ; it must needs follow , that the divident it hath thereof should proceed from the influence , which the principle of heat sends it in greater abundance then to any of the rest ; and consequently , that there is a greater communication , a greater dependence and connexion , between it and the heart which , without all dispute , is the principle of that heat , then there can be between the heart and all the other fingers put together . nor was antiquity wholly ignorant of this sympathy , in as much as history informs us , that the antient physicians were of opinion , that this finger had a certain cordial vertue , as making use of it exclusively to all the rest , in the mixture of those medicaments , whereof they made their antidotes . and thence it came that they gave it the denomination of the medical finger , which it still keeps in the latine tongue , that this is one of the reasons why rings have been ever since worn on it ; and that many apply thereto remedies for the weaknesses of the heart , as levinus affirms , that he had often made experience , as also for the curing of intermittent fevers , as some do still , with good success nor is it of late onely , that some have made it their business , to find out the cause of this intelligence and relation between these two parts . for some , as appion , in anlus gellius , have affirmed , that there was a nerve which , proceeding from the heart , ended at the said finger ; others , that that connexion was wrought by an artery , and that it is manifestly perceiv'd to beat in women during the time of their travel , as also in those , who are wearied with over-working , and in all the diseases , which assault the heart . but , though this last opinion be the more probable , yet doth it not absolutely take away the difficulty , in as much as the other fingers have each of them an artery at well as this , which artery proceeds from the same branch , and the same source as that of the other does . whereto it may be added , that it is not necessary there should be manifest conduits for the conveyance of these vertues , nature her self , as hippocrates affirms , making secret paths and ways , for the passage , not onely of her own faculties , but also for that of the humours themselves , which she would rid her self of . art. . that there is a like sympathy between the spleen and the middle-finger . i might add for a third observation , to discover the sympathy there is between the spleen and the long or middle-finger , the miraculous effects , which the opening of the salvatella produces in diseases of the spleen . for that vein passing commonly between the middle-finger , and the ring-finger , as hippocrates affirms , or between the latter and the little-finger , but sending some branch to the middle-finger ; it may , with much probability , be imagin'd , that the vertue of the spleen is convey'd by the said vein to that finger , and that the ring-finger being wholly taken up with the influence of the heart , cannot entertain that of the spleen , if it be true , that the vertues are not confounded , as we have shewn elsewhere . and indeed , what ever some late practicers of physick may say , experience , back'd by the authority of the first masters of that science , is of more force then all the reasons can be alledged by them . for , besides that it is a thing of dangerous consequence , for any one to think to make all the rules of medicine subject to ratiocination , which is many times weak and deceitful , and to discard the sentiments of the ancient professors of that art , who were more exact observers of things , then those who have come after them ; this , i say , not urg'd , i can truly and safely affirm , that , having caus'd this vein to be opened in quartan agues , above sixty times , it never fail'd , after the preparations necessary thereto , either quite to take away the fever , or abate much of the violence of it , and made the fits more easily supportable . let them not therefore argue any thing from the distribution , nor yet from the largness of the vessels : for as one and the same boal of a tree hath several branches , which have not the same vertue , and that , of these , some bear flowers , or fruits , others nothing at all ; in like manner , though all the veins of the arm and hand proceed from the same trunk , yet have they not the same employments , and they are only so many channels , through which the several faculties may flow . so that the faculty which proceeds from the spleen , may pass wholy in the salvatella , without dispersing it self into the other veins ; which may be imagin'd done , after the same manner , as it is , that the parts disburthen themselves only on those , which are particularly attributed and affected to them , though they have a connexion with some others , by their vessels and situation ; and hence it is that the several transportations of the humours , and the changes which diseases make from one place to another , do proceed , as we shall shew more at large hereafter . as to the largeness of the veins , which makes the evacuations of them more advantageous then are those of such as are less , it is a thing out of all dispute , when the question is of diminishing somewhat of the universal fulness of the body : but for what concerns the discharging of some part , it is observ'd , that , many times , the lesser veins , provided they be neer it , and that there be some secret communication between them , do it more safely and more effectually then the greater . in fine , since it is an opinion , without prescription of time , that the opening of the vein hath prov'd successful in diseases of the spleen , as may be seen in the writings of hippocrates , galen , and all the arabians , it is not likely it should be approv'd by such eminent persons , and that it should continue in repute for so many ages , through which it hath descended to us , had it not been supported and confirm'd by experience , in as much as there is not any reason , which might have given ground to that persuasion . and if it be by this way , that this remedy came to be known , there is no necessity we should reduce it to the examination of reasons , no more then we do the purgative faculties , and all the other specifick vertues , whereof medicine is full . to return therefore to the proof , which this discourse interrupted ; we said , that some advantage might be made of this observation , to confirm the sympathy there is between the spleen and the middle finger . but if particular instances might serve for proofs to general maxims , i dare affirm , that i have one , which wonderfully makes good this sympathy . for i know a person , who , being subject to the diseases of the spleen , is never troubled therewith , but the middle finger of the left hand becomes cold , benumm'd , and of a wan colour , as if it were depriv'd of life . to this we may add the story related by hippocrates , in the fourth book of popular diseases , of the woman , whose hypochondriae were so extended , and the respiration so obstructed , to whom there happen'd the eleventh day a fluxion and inflammation in that very finger , which gave her some ease for a certain time , though afterwards , the violence of the fever , and the imposthume , which bred in her entrails , occasion'd her death . for it may be conjectur'd thence , that some part of the humour , which was in the spleen , was disburthen'd into that finger , as being a part , between it and which there was a communication and correspondence , and that the said disburthening procur'd it some ease ; but with this further observation , that , it being not possible , that the whole cause of the indisposition should be contain'd in so narrow a place , the remainder occasion'd the imposthume , whereof she died . however , to deal ingenuously , we must confess , that these are only conjectures , not fit to enter into competition with the precedent observations , which seem to have demonstrated the truth we are enquiring after . art. . that there is a sympathy between all the interiour parts , and the other parts of the hand . what hath been said in the precedent articles is so evictive , that it were to be wish'd , we had as good proofs , to make a distinct discovery of the rest of the sympathies , which are between the other interiour parts , and some other places in the hand . but , to excuse the negligence of not looking after them , it may with much probability be affirmed , that , since those of the heart and liver are certain and unquestionable , it must necessarily follow , that the others should be so too , though they are not apparent to us ; and that not only the brain , and the other parts , which have publick and principal functions , as well as the heart and liver ; but also that the spleen , the stomach , the lungs , the kidneys , and possibly some other parts , should have each of them , in the hand , their proper and affected place , between which and them there is a certain correspondence and complyance . art. . that the face is the epitome of all the exteriour parts . it may therefore be brought in as a proof of that secret intelligence , which is between some parts and others , and for the honour of that we now treat of , that the hand and face are as it were an abstract of all the parts of the body . for the latter is an epitome of all the exteriour members , there being not any part of it , but hath its particular and manifest resemblance to some one of them ; as the former , in like manner is , of all the interiour parts , as having not any place , between ▪ which and some one of them there is not a secret connexion and sympathy . and no doubt , this is one of the principal reasons , that these two parts have had so peculiar a constitution of the skin , which , though all elsewhere , it be separated from the muscles , is , in these , so joyn'd , that it is impossible to separate the one from the other : it being nature's pleasure , who hath design'd these parts for mirrours , wherein all the others were to be represented , that the flesh should be joyn'd to the skin , that the impression it receives from the nerves , veins , and arteries , which are spread through it , should be more easily communicated , and be more suddenly apparent without . which thing may also be observ'd in the soles of the feet , which , in some sort , participate of the same advantages with the hands , and upon the said advantages there is another science establish'd , called podomancy , which promises the same things as chiromancy , but not with so good success , for the reasons we shall give elsewhere . art. . that there is a mutual sympathy between all the parts . nor is it only between the exteriour and manifest parts , that this association and mutual correspondence is found , there is yet another more general sympathy , which was known by hippocrates , and such , as he made it his ground of that ingenious division of the veins , which he hath made in his book of the bones . for that transcendent wit , having consider'd the several transportations of the humours , and the changes of diseases , so often made from some certain parts to others , hath design'd the veins whereby they might be made , and which accordingly were to be opened , in order to the preventing thereof . and , that such an order might be observ'd in that procedure as should take away the confusion thereof , he hath laid down several heads , or as it were articles , at which he would begin the distribution of those vessels ; for he hath plac'd the first in the heart ; the second , in the reins ; the third , in the liver ; the fourth , in the eyes ; and the fift in the head ; from whence he draws four pair of veins , which are afterwards spread into divers places . art. . that the distribution of the veins made by hippocrates , for the discovery of the said sympathy , was not understood either by aristotle , or galen . from what is abovesaid , it is not to be inferr'd , that hippocrates was of opinion , that those were the first sources , from which the veins derive their origine , as aristotle , galen , and in a manner all their followers have impos'd upon him , since he could not be ignorant , that all of them have their root in the liver , whence they are distributed into all the parts of the body , in order to the conveyance of their nourishment into them ; as he afterwards makes it appear in the distribution he hath made of the liver-vein , and whereof he hath given a further account in the second book of popular diseases : but it was only to denote the correspondence there is between those five parts and the rest , & the diseases and symptomes which they mutually communicate . accordingly , when he saies , that the left eye receives a vein from the right , and the latter another from the left , it is not to be taken literally , as if those veins did really derive their origine from those places ; but it is to shew , that the indispositions of one eye are communicated to the other , as if they had veins , whereby they might be directly convey'd . true indeed it is , that this communication is wrought by the interposition of the veins , and that these veins do also proceed from some common branch ; but that is at such a distance from the eyes , that it cannot be precisely affirm'd , there is any intercourse of veins between them , upon any other account then that of the sympathy there is between them . and this is so certain , that , many times , hippocrates considers not the continuity of the veins , in the distribution he makes thereof , since he shews , that the head and lungs hold a correspondence with the spleen , though the veins of the spleen are not united , nor continuous with those of the aforesaid parts ; in as much as it is sufficient , in order to the correspondence , whereof he speaks , that there should be some kind of communication between those veins , by some means or other , as we shall shew hereafter . but to make a more particular discovery of the secret and advantage of this admirable distribution , it is requisite we should examin some articles of it . for when he tells us , that , from these four pair of veins , which issue from the head , there is one which hath two branches , which falling from the temples descend into the lungs , whereof one passes from the right side to the left , and spreads into the spleen and left kidney ; and the other passes from the left side , and goes into the liver and right kidney ; and afterwards both those branches end at the hemorrhoidal veins : does he not thereby teach us not only why the opening of the hemorrhoidal veins is good for those , who are troubled with pains in the reins , plurifies , and inflammations of the lungs ; but also why the suppression of them causes the dropsie and the phthisick ? for , though there be other places , where it should seem , that the reflux of the blood , which they contain , might be made ; yet the correspondence there is between them , and the liver and lungs , is the only reason why it is not made elsewhere . and questionless , those branches , which , descending from them , pass from the right side to the left , and from the left to the right , acquaint us with the cause , which hath been sought after to so little purpose ; to wit , why the imposthumes and swellings , which happen from the upper part to the lower , are not alwayes on the same side , where the source of the disease is observ'd , but sometimes on the right , sometimes on the left ; whereas those which happen from the lower part to the upper , are alwayes consonant to the regularity of the part , where the seat of the indisposition is : for , without this distribution of the veins , it is impossible to give a reason for all these accidents . nay further , without the said distribution , it would not be known why there is so great a correspondence between the breast and the genitals , that the cough ceases , when those are swell'd ; that the swelling is asswag'd , when the cough follows ; nay , that the swellings of the veins which happens to them , correct the defects , that make the voice small or hoarse . in a word , this is the only secret , to discover the wayes , which nature observes in her transportation of the humours , from one part to another , and for the discerning of the veins , which are to be opened in every particular indisposition . for , though they have all the same root ; though divers of them have common branches , which should equally distribute unto them the blood and humours , which they contain ; yet the correspondence and friendship there is between the parts , prevails with nature , to force them rather by one vein then another , and she , making choice of that which is most convenient for her purpose , meddles not with the others , which are near it , and proceed from the self-same origine . and this is evidently remarkable in the sympathy , whereof we have heretofore given such pressing examples . for , in all probability , it is by the veins and arteries , that the secret vertue , which is communicated from the heart and liver to certain fingers , is convey'd into them ; and yet all those ; which are in the hand , are not employ'd in that conveyance , and though they proceed from the same branch , yet is there not any more then one , whereby the vertue of the heart , and another , whereby that of the liver , is convey'd . otherwise , there would be no determinate place for the reception of their influence , and all the fingers of the hand , which have veins and arteries , would receive it equally ; the contrary whereof we find by experience . accordingly , to say the truth , all these vessels are only channels and conduit-pipes , which cannot , no more then those of springs or fountains , give any motion to the humours : but they are the spirits only , which convey and force them , to those places , where they are ordered to go . and as the correspondence , there is between the members , is carry'd on and improv'd by means of these spirits ; so is it not to be doubted , but that the blood , wherewith they are intermix'd , marches along with them , from one part to another , and , consequently , occasions that miraculous harmony of the veins , observ'd by hippocrates . for no doubt that harmony was the ground , upon which he and the ancient masters of medicine have , in the same member , observ'd veins that held a certain correspondence with several parts , as , in the arm , the head-vein , the liver-vein , and the spleen-vein , which they alwayes punctually opened , in the particular indispositions of those parts , slighting , or at least not minding , the weak reasons , which the inspection of bodies , and the affectation of novelty have since brought into vogue . art. . whence proceeds the regularity which nature observes in her evacuations . and certainly , if a recourse be not had to this direction of the spirits , it would be impossible to give an account of the regularity , which nature observes in her motions , when they are absolutely at her disposal , and which medicine imitates in the evacuations prescrib'd by it . for when , in inflammations of the liver , the right ear becomes red ; when ulcers rise in the right hand and right foot ; when blood issues out at the nostrill of the same side ; or when there happen imposthumes and swellings in the right ear ; and , on the contrary , when all the same accidents are observable on the left side , in inflammations of the spleen ; when , i say , medicine prescribes phlebotomy on the same side that the disease is ; and teaches us withall , that all the evacuations made on the opposite side , are dangerous , in case they are made of themselves , or naturally , or to no purpose , if done by art. what other reason can be assign'd for this regularity , at least such as may be satisfactory to the mind , then that alledged by us ? for what is said of the streight fibres which enter into the composition of the vessels , whereby some are of opinion , that the humours are attracted , is , to give it no worse tearm , impertinent : since they are incapable of making any such attraction , as we have shewn elsewhere ; since they are found equally on all sides of the vessel , and consequently cannot determine , or direct the motion of the humours to one rather then another : since there are not alwayes fibres to promote that regularity , in as much as from the spleen to the left nostril , there cannot be any at all , the veins of the nose proceeding from the hollow vein , between which and the spleen there is no connexion ; and , in fine , since the humours which are without the vessels , nay the very vapours , and the most simple qualities are communicated from one part to another , after the same manner , so as that the fibres act not at all upon those occurrences , they , in case there were any , not contributing any thing to the transportation of the vapours and qualities . moreover , if any shall affirm , that this may be done by those secret conduits that are in some parts of the flesh , and ascend from the lower parts to the upper , yet so , as that those which are of one side have no communication with those of the other , we answer , that it is a pure imagination without any likelihood of truth , in as much as , most commonly , these evacuations are wrought by the veins ; and that it is requisite , the humours , which flow through those secret conduit-pipes , should enter into the veins , where it must be asserted there are not any passages ; nay further , that there should be some conduits cross the body , since the humours sometimes pass from the right side to the left , sometimes from before to behind , and most commonly from the centre to the circumference . but , all consider'd , reflecting on either of these opinions , we cannot find , why there should be so much danger , when the regularity is not observ'd in the evacuations of the humours . but it being supposed , that the said evacuations are wrought by the direction of the spirits , it is easily concluded to be necessary , that nature must needs be extremely oppress'd , when she follows not the order which had been prescrib'd her , and when she gets out of her ordinary road , to shun the enemy that presses upon her . for it is to be attributed to this very reason , that the motions she makes in sharp fevers upon even days are always dangerous ; in as much as it is an argument of the violence she suffers , and the disorder into which the violence of the disease forces her , when it makes her forget the odd days on which she ought to engage against the choler , which is the cause of those diseases . but however the case stands , we may confidently affirm , that the regularity we speak of , without all doubt , proceeds from the spirits , which conduct the humours all over one half of the body , and dispose them not at all into the other , unless there be some great obstruction for , nature hath so great a tenderness for the conservation of things living and animate , that she hath , in a manner , divided them all into two parts , out of this design , that if it happened one suffered any alteration , the other might secure it self from it , and so , in it self , preserve the nature of the whole . now , this division is real and manifest in some subjects , as in the seeds and kernels of some plants , all which consist of two portions , which may be separated one from the other ; as also in all those members of the animal that are double . in others it is obscure , and not observable in an actual separation of the parts , but onely in those operations which shew , that they have each of them their distinct jurisdiction and different concernments ; such as is that whereof we speak , which distinguishes the whole body into two halfs , whereof one is on the right , the other , on the left . of the same kind is also that which may be observed in the members that are single , as the brain , tongue , nose , &c. where we many times see one half , which is assaulted by some disease , the other free from it , though there be not any separation between them . if then it be true , that nature , to preserve one half of the body , charges the other with all the disorder that happens thereto , and permits not the humours , wherewith it is troubled , to exceed her limits , and , by that means , to fasten on the other , it is not to be doubted , but that the spirits , which are her first and principal organs , do serve her in that enterprize , and that the transportation of the humours , from one place to another , is their charge , but onely so farr as she hath given them order to do . and if , to compass this transportation , there be any necessity of making use of the veins that are on the o●her s●de , yet does not that make them forget nature's d●s●gn , and the commands they had received from her ; and so they onely pass along , if i may so express it , the borders of their neighbours , to get to the place whereto they are directed . thus , for example , when , to disburthen the spleen of the humours whereby it is incommodated , there happens a bleeding of the nose by the left nostril , it is absolutely necessary , that they should go out of the spleen-veins into the hollow-vein , which is on the right side . but the spirits can conduct them in such manner , as , at last , to make them return all along the same line , and within that half of the body , wherein the spleen is . but this is to enter too farr into the secrets of medicine ; it shall therefore suffice , at the present , to affirm , that the communication there is between the veins , according to the distribution made thereof by hippocrates , proceeds from the spirits , which convey the humors from one to another , consonantly to the relation and correspondence which there is between the parts , or according to the regularity they observe among themselves . art. . that the starrs , or planets , have a certain predominancy over the several parts of the hand . to return to the sympathy there is between the interiour members , and the several parts of the hand , i am of opinion , that the reasons alledg'd by us for the maintaining thereof , if they do not absolutely convince the most obstinate , will , at least , leave in their mind some doubt of the truth thereof . and i make no question , but that chiromancy ought to be satisfy'd therewith , since that having been hitherto unknown to it , they make good ▪ the chiefest of its foundations ; as also that it will be easie for the said science , to establish thereupon the maximes of astrologie , which ought to furnish it with most of its rules , and secure its preatest promises . for , if it be once granted , that the interiour parts are govern'd by the planets , and that they receive , from those celestial bodies , some particular influence , as astrologie teaches ; it must of necessity follow , that the vertue which is deriv'd from those parts to the hand should be accompanied by that which the planets communicate to them ; and that , for example , if the heart communicates its influence to some finger , the planet , under whose government the heart is , should also derive his to the same place : it being not probable , that the influence of the planet should make a halt at the heart , while this last communicates to the hand that which is proper and natural to it ; in as much as , the truth of the celestial influences being granted , it must be affirm'd , that those two vertues are combin'd into one , which is the onely essential disposition , and the specifick property of each part . now , it is a conclusion of astrologie , confirm'd by its principles and observations , that the liver is govern'd by jupiter , the spleen by saturn , the heart by the sun , and so of the rest : whereof the consequence is , that the fore-finger should be accordingly govern'd by jupiter ; the middle-finger , by saturn ; the ring-finger , by the sun , &c. in regard there is a correspondence and sympathy between those principal parts and the said fingers , and that the former communicates to the latter the vertue they have in themselves . all which consider'd , we are not any longer to think it much , that chiromancy hath chang'd the order of the planets in the hand ; nor yet ask , why it should place jupiter on the fore-finger , and the sun on the ring-finger , rather then on any other part , in as much as the nature of the heart , and liver , and the sympathy there is between them and those fingers , hath assign'd it those places to be , as it were , particular houses , which the said planets have in the hand , as they have in the heavens such as are peculiar to them . these things thus laid down , the whole difficulty is reduced to this point , viz to know , whether those starrs do really govern the principal parts of the body , and communicate unto them some secret vertue , which might be cause of the good or bad disposition they have ? but , for any man to think to drive on this question as farr as it might go , and to examine al the consequences and circumstances thereof , with the severity , which philosophy requires in these matters ; besides that it would bring into doubt those truths which astrologie places in the rank of things already judg'd , and such as its most irreconcileable enemies are , for the most part , forc'd to acknowledge ; it would require a discourse which should exceed the limits of our design , nay , indeed contradict the method wherewith all sciences would be treated . for this admits not , that all those things which occurr therein should be brought into dispute ; it particularly declares against the censuring of those principles ▪ upon which they are establish'd , and would have all those , which are deduced from the conclusions of the superiour sciences , how doubtfull soever they may be , to be receiv'd with the same priviledge , as the maximes and common notions of the mathematicks may challenge . it is therefore sufficient for chiromancy , that natural philosophy maintains its first foundations ; and so whatsoever it afterwards receives from astrologie , ought to be allow'd , or at least the disquisition thereof left in suspence , till the ground of astrologie it self shall have been examined . art. . that the planets have a predominancy over the interiour parts . to remove therefore , in some measure , the distrust which some may have , that the conclusions which chiromancy derives from astrologie for principles , are wholly imaginary , and contrary to truth , we are now to make it appear , by some observations not admittable into dispute , that some parts of the body , are under the particular direction and government of certain planets . nor will this be any hard matter to do , as to some of them . and though we should reject the experiences , which astrologie might furnish us with upon this occasion , and that , upon such a rejection , we should not have others convincing enough to make an absolute proof of this truth ; yet would the former lay down a great presumption for the ascertainment of the rest , and leave a very wel-grounded conjecture for us to imagine , that every member is governed by one of those starrs , and that the principle which astrologie had made thereof , in order to the furtherance of chiromancy , is not ill establish'd . art. . that the moon hath such a predominancy over the brain . let us then begin with the brain , and affirm , that it is a thing out of all controversie , that the moon hath a secret superintendency over that part , and that it is more apparently sensible of its power , then any of the other parts . for it swells and abates ; it increases and diminishes , proportionably to the increase or decrease of that planet . thence it comes , that the science of medicine , upon a certain knowledge of these changes , takes a care , that , when trepanning is prescrib'd , it should be perform'd with the greater precaution in the full of the moon ; in regard the physicians know , that , then , the brain is also in its full , and that causing the membranes , which encompass it , to come neerer the bone , it exposes them to the danger of being the more easily touched by the instrument . but there cannot be a greater demonstration of the connexion and sympathy , which there is between the moon and the brain , then that the diseases of that part have their intensions and remissions , according to the course of that planet . for , of these ●ndispositions , there are some do so regularly follow her motions , that they may be the ephemerides , or prognostications thereof : nay , though she be under the horizon , and that the person subject to those indispositions endeavour , by all ways imaginable , to secure themselves against her influences ; yet does not all this hinder but that the breaking out of a fluxion , which comes precisely at the time appointed , in the change of her quarters , will cause them to be selt , though they be not seen either in the heavens or the almanacks . moreover , do not the fits of the epilepsie or falling-sickness ordinarily follow the motions of that planet ? are there not some kinds of distractions , and extravagances which are called lunaeies ? nay , to descend even to horses , are they not subject to diseases in the head , known by a name not much differing from the forementioned , purely upon this account , that both of them follow the motion of the moon ? in a word , is it not a thing generally acknowledg'd , that the beams of that planet cause stubborn distempers , and discolour the countenance , if one be a long time expos'd thereto , especially if the party be asleep ? now all these things cannot be referr'd to any other cause then the influences thereof , in as much as most of them are many times observable , when she is under the earth , and that , granted to be there , neither her light , nor the magnetick vertue attributed to her , can have any action upon us . nor is there any doubt made of the truth of these secret qualities , especially after the observations , which have been made of an infinite number of effects they produce ; and , among others , of the ●bbing and flowing of the sea , which , without all dispute , follows the motion of the moon , beginning alwaies when she appears either above our horizon , or that of the antipodes , and being in her greatest force , when she is come to their meridian or ours . for if it can be shewn , as it would be easie for us to do , would this place admit of a discourse so long as should be requisite thereto ; if , i say , it can be demonstrated , that the flowing of the sea cannot proceed from the motion of the earth , nor from the light of the stars , nor from any magnetick vertue , nor by the impulsion of the moon , nor by the rarefaction caus'd in the water by heat , there remain only the influences of this planet , to be the cause of that miraculous motion , and no doubt to be also the like cause of all the accidents before-mentioned . art. . that the sun hath the like predominancy over the heart . now , if it be acknowledg'd , that the said celestial body ( the moon ) hath the influences we have mentioned , and that it is by them it hath the direction and government of one of the principal parts of the body , there is no question to be made , but that the sun , which hath the supremacy , and is , as it were , the father of all the other planets , should have such as are more powerful ; and that he , whose concurrence is requisite for the generation of all things , hath rese●v'd to himself the first and noblest part of animals , that he might have the conduct thereof , and communicate his vertues thereto . no doubt but it must be so , and therefore it may be affirm'd , that he hath made choice of the heart for his throne , and the place of his exaltation : and that , as he is in the heavens , in the midst of all the stars , so is he plac'd in the midst of all the members of the body , which are govern'd by the planets . thence is it , that he dilates his vertue into all the parts of the little world ; and if , in his course , he comes to suffer some mal●gnant aspect , that member is sensible of it , and sympathizes with the disorders of its soveraign . upon this discovery hath it been observ'd , that those , who are sick , suffer an extraordinary weakness in eclipses of the sun , nay , that those , who are of a more delicate complexion , do sensibly resent in themselvs the effect of that constellation . to this may be added that the vital faculty becomes languishing and weak , during the time of the solstices and the aequinoxes , and , when ever any malignant stars rise with him , that hippocrates hath forbidden the making use of any remedy , till ten daies are past . but we must not omit to bring , in this place , an observation , which that incomparable person hath left behind him in his book of dreams , whereby may be discover'd , not only the sympathy there is between the heart and the sun , but also that which is between the moon and the stars , and the other parts of the body . for having suppos'd , that the sun hath a relation to the middle of the body , the moon to the cavities that are in it , and the stars to the external parts , he affirms , that if those celestial bodies appear in the dream with the purity , and according to that regularity of motion , which is natural to them , it is a signification of perfect health , and that there is not any thing in the body , but is consonant to the rule and order , which nature requires . but if the party dreaming seems to see any of the planets dimm'd , or disappearing , or obstructed in its course , it is a sign of some indisposition to happen in those parts , between which and those bodies there is a sympathy and correspondence . for if those disorders happen in the stars , the indisposition will be in the constitution and habit of the body ; if in the moon , it will be in the cavities ; but if it be in the sun , it will be so much the more violent , and more hard to be cured , as such as engages against the principles of life : it being not to be imagin'd , that the middle , he speaks of , can be understood of any thing , but the vital parts , which comprehend the heart , and the parts about it . now , if this be true , as reason and experience hath since frequently confirm'd it , we are to conclude thence , that since , in dreams , the imagination frames all those images of the sun , to represent to its self the good or ill disposition of the heart , it is necessary , that it should have some ground to joyn together two things , which are so different among themselves , and that it should find , in the said part of the body , certain solar qualities , which may serve for a model for the figures and representations it makes of that star. and , in a word , it is requisite , that the particular influences , which the heart receives from the sun , should be the originals , according to which , the soul ▪ in sleep , draws all those admirable copies . if the case were otherwise , why should she not as well make them for some other member ? and why , in the inflammation of the liver , for example , where the heat is at that time greater , then in any other part of the body , should she not make to herself a representation of that star , which is the source of all the heat in the world , as well as she does in the least alterations of the heart ? certainly , there are , in this part , some vertues , so strange and so conceal'd , that it is impossible to make any reference thereof to the elements . for that it should many times defie the flames , so as not to be consum'd thereby ; that it should not grow softer by boyling , if the auricles be not taken away ; that some kinds of fishes cannot be boyl'd , if the heart be left within them ; these , i say , are effects so particular thereto , and whereof it is so hard to give any reason , by the manifest qualities , that there is some ground to presume , that those which it hath are of a higher order , and referrible , as aristotle affirms , to the element of the starrs . now , if the influence which the heart receives from the sun is the cause , that the dreams do , by the images of that planet , represent the diverse dispositions , wherein the heart is ; it is requisite , the case should be the same , as to the moon and stars , in reference to the cavities of the body , and the exteriour parts . and thence , no doubt , it proceeds , that astrology hath dispos'd , under the direction of the moon , the brain , the breast , the intestines , the bladder , and the matrix , which are the most considerable cavities of the body ; as also that it hath divided all the exteriour parts among the signs of the zodiack , grounding it self , at first , on this doctrine of hippocrates , whereto it hath since added its own experiences . art. . that the other planets have the government of the other interiour parts . these reasons thus laid down , there is no difficulty to be made , but that the other planets have also their particular influences , and , as well as the two already mentioned , have the government of certain parts of the body . but philosophy hath been so negligent in preserving the observations thereof , that , those , which astrology furnishes us withall , being excepted , we have not any from which may be deduced the direction of jupiter over the liver , that of saturn over the spleen , &c. unless we may be admitted to bring into that rank , the marks and moles which are found naturally imprinted on those parts . for it is an observation grounded on experience , that he , at whose birth saturn hath the predominancy , hath commonly one of those marks upon the region of the spleen ; if it be jupiter , he hath it upon that of the liver ; if venus , the mark is to be seen on the privy parts , and the party hath another between the ey-brows . upon which observation , dares phrygius , in the pourtraiture he made of the beautiful helene , affirms , that she had one between the ey-brows , which cornelius nepos hath neatly express'd , in these two excellent verses : parva superciliis nubes interflua raris audaci maculâ tenues discriminat artus . but i do not account these observations full enough , nor so sufficiently confirm'd by experience , as that a certain proof , of what we pretend to , may be deduced from them . in the mean time , till there be a more exact disquisition made thereof , we shall not stick to affirm , that the sun and moon , which , without all dispute , have a predominancy over the heart and brain , may well secure the presumption we have , to imagine , that the other planets have a certain empire over the members , which astrology hath made subject thereto . and consequently , we may conclude , that the principle which chiromancy derives from it , is not without some ground , and that it may make good a great part of the promises it makes . art. . that the principles establish'd regulate many doubtful things in chiromancy . these are then the reasons , upon which , i conceiv'd , that some establishment might be made . this further advantage may be made of them , that they may serve to regulate many things , whereof there is some controversie in the practick part of chiromancy , and to discover the causes of many effects observ'd therein . for there are some , who affirm , that it is not only requisite to make an inspection into the hands , but that it is also necessary to look upon the feet ; that the left hand ought to be the more consider'd in women , and those whose nativities happen in the night ; and the right , in men , and those who are born in the day . but the advantage which the hands have over the feet , clearly shews , that the inspection of the latter is to little purpose , and that the artist may find out in the hands , whatever can be expected from this kind of knowledge . moreover , the right hand being more noble then the left , in all sexes , at what time soever the querent be born , ought to be more exactly consider'd , then the latter , especially as to what concerns the heart , liver , and brain , between which and it there is a greater communication . but , on the other side , the left hath the preheminence , as to what concerns the spleen , and the other parts , which are on the same side , by reason of the power which regularity hath upon those occasions . in fine , what we have said before concerning length , bredth and profundity , furnishes us with the causes of the diversity which is observ'd in the lines : for those which are simple shew that the vertue is weak , length being the first essay it m●kes ; those which are ●ros●'d discover a greater strength in it , as having extended it self into bredth , and that it does its utmost in those which are deep . but i forget my self , and consider not , that i insensibly enter into a particular disquisition of those things , which it was my design to have balk'd . ●●y , i am to fear , i have express'd my self too ●reely in the general , and that i betray a certain acknowledgment , by the certainty i find therein , that ● have the same persuasion for the particular . but i am far from entertaining any such though● . tr●e it is , i lay the foundations of a science , which seem ●o me solid enough , but i find not materials to compleat the edifice . for most of those rules and prec●pts , wherewith some would have carried on the superstructure , are not sufficiently establish'd ; the experiences , by which they are maintain'd are not fully verified and confirm'd ; and there is ●quinte a new supply of observations , made with all ●he caution and exactness necessary , to give it the ●orm and solid●ty , which art and science require but from whom are these to be expected , since those , who might be thought able to make them , will not busie themselves about it ? and when may they be expected , since there are so many to be made ; and that there is so much difficulty in the making of them wel but if it shall happen , that any will venture their endeavours herein , and shall attempt it with a confidence of being able to overcome the charge and difficulties of so great a design , i am to tell them , that , in my judgment , they will be extreamly oblig'd to you , sir , for having engag'd me , to promote their work , and assigning them the foundations , on which they are to build ; and you are to acknowledge withall my complyance with your desires . for if you consider my ordinary imployments and studies , you will find , that i have done them some violence , to humour your inclinations , and that i could not give you a greater demonstration of the friendship and respects i have for you , then by exposing my self to censure , to satisfie your curiosity . i am not to fear yours because i am confident it will be favourable to me ; but i dread that of the publick , from whom no favour is to be expected , and whose judgments are very severe , and , many times , unjust . it is your business therefore to prevent my appearance before that severe tribunal , if you are not sufficiently confident , that i shall escape the punishment of temerarious writers ; and consequently , hazzard not , at least without great precaution , the little esteem good fortune hath been pleased to favour me with in the world , and for the security and preservation whereof , i conceive you oblig'd to concern yourself , since you know how much i am , sir , your , &c. the second letter to monsievr b.d.m. upon the principles of metoposcopy . sir , i know not whether i ought to complain of your curiosity , which requires of me things that are so difficult , or lay the fault on the complyance i have for you , which will not suffer me to deny you any thing , within the reach of my performance . when you would have me to establish the principles of metoposcopy , upon physical observations , as i have done those of chiromancy , you consider not , that you engage me in an attempt , which ca dan , achillinus , and the conciliator durst not undertake ; and when i comply with your commands , i also reflect not , that i expose my self to the censure of all those , who shall see this discourse , and , no doubt , will blame me for bestowing my time in the examination of things so vain , and so much cry'd down , and , by my conjectures , confirming those in their errour , who give too much credit thereto . but since i have not so much command of my self as to balk the satisfaction of your desires , let me beg your care of my reputation , and entreat you , to acquaint those , to whom you shall communicate this piece , with the judgment , which , you know , i make of these kinds of sciences . for though i find some grounds , whereby their principles may be maintain'd , nay am of a persuasion , that if such perfect observations might be made , as were necessary to give them rules , there might be framed an art thereof , which would be very advantageous and delightful : yet does not this hinder my being of opinion , that all those , which we find in books , are not only false , but also temerarious , and that those who make use of them , justly deserve the contempt , which wisdom hath for things of that nature , and are no less justly subject to those punishments , whereto religion hath alwaies condemn'd them . with this precaution , i shall dilate my discourse upon this subject , according to the ensuing heads or articles , and shew ; . that metoposcopy hath the same principles with chiromancy . . what part of the face are governed by the planets . . that not only the forehead , but also the other parts of the face are to be considered in metoposcopy . . that the sun and moon have the government of the eyes . . that venus hath the government of the nose . . that there is a correspondence between all the marks of the face , and others , in other parts of the body . . whence the lines of the forehead proceed . . what particular planet hath the government of the forehead . . that jupiter hath the government of the cheeks . . that mercury hath the like government of the ears . . and lastly , that mars hath the government of the lips. art. . that metoposcopy hath the same principles with chiromancy . we are therefore , in the first place , to affirm , that the same principle , upon which chiromancy is establish'd , serves also for a ground to metoposcopy , in as much as all the promises of this latter science are grounded on the government and direction , which the planets have over certain parts of the face , as they have over those of the hand . so that if the said principle be found well establish'd , in order to chiromancy , there is no question to be made , but it makes as well for metoposcopy . nay , it may be affirm'd , that the general reasons , whereof the former hath made use , are more pressing and decisive in the latter ; and if they give presumptions and apparences of some truth in the one in the other they seem to give assurance and certainty . for , if it be once granted , that the planets have a certain direction and government over the nobler parts , and that they inspire their good or bad qualities into them ; that there is also a certain secret correspondence between the said parts , and some members , whereto they communicate the good and bad dispositions , which they may have ; and that for the same reason , the same star , which hath the government of some noble part , governs also that , between which and the other there is a correspondence and sympathy , as we have already shewn in the precedent discourse : if , i say ▪ this be true in chiromancy , it should be much more certain in metoposcopy ; since it may be inferr'd , that , so far as the face hath the preheminence before the hands , so the direction of the planets , and the sympathy of the nobler parts should be proportionably stronger and more efficacious in that part , then they are in any of the rest . for certainly , there is not any likelihood , that the heart , the brain , the liver , and the other principal parts , should have any particular vertue , to be communicated to certain parts of the hand , as the experiences we have produc'd do make evident , and not make some participation thereof , to that , which is the most excellent of all , and as it were the epitome of the whole man , and the mirrour , wherein all the dispositions of body and soul are represented and observ'd . we need not bring any reasons , or proofs , to demonstrate the truth of these advantages ; they are too evident , and too well known , to leave any place for doubt ; there needs no eyes , to make a greater apprehension thereof then words can express : nay , there reeds no more then common sence , to conclude , that , if there be any influences communicated by the nobler parts and the stars to the exteriour parts , the face ought to have a better and greater share of them then any other part whatsoever . art . what parts of the face are govern'd by the planets . all those grounds and consequences being presuppos'd , we now come to examine , what parts of the face those are , between which and the noble parts and the stars ▪ there is a certain sympathy . for , as this sympathy is grounded upon the formal and specifick vertues , and that nature confounds not those vertues as we have shewn elsewhere ; so it is requisite , that there should be some place in the face , answerable to the heart and the sun ; another , to the ●iver , and jupiter ; some other , to the spleen , and saturn , and so of the rest ; and that every one of them should receive the vertues and influences , which are proper both to the noble part , between which and it there is a sympathy , and the planet , under whose direction it is the vulgar metoposco●y takes notice of no other places , where these impressions should be made , then the forehead , which the professors of it have divided into seven parts , in order to the placing of the seven planets therein . so that they have assign'd the first and highest place to saturn ; the second , to jupiter ; the third to mars ; the fourth , to the sun ; the fifth , which is above the left eye-brow , to venus : that which is above the right , to mercury ; and they lodge the moon between those two . and when these places are mark'd with any lines , they denote the power of that starr , which is appropriated thereto . but i fear me , this orderly , and regular disposal of the planets is a product of man's wit and invention , which affects a kind of proportion and symmetry in all things , and imagin'd , that those celestial bodies ought to be placed in the face , with a respect to the same order which they observe in the heavens . chiromancy hath done much better , when slighting that proportion , it chang'd the order of the planets , and plac'd them in the hand , after a quite different situation . for , from thence it hath been with some reason concluded , that there were some experiences , which had oblig'd it to rank them as it hath done , and to recede from that method , which the imagination so industriously observes , in all its operations , wherein it ●●ver wants references and resemblances , to establish its dreams and visions . now , what makes me to imagine the falling of metoposcopy into the said errour , is this , that there are many , who have not approv'd the situation , which some others have assign'd to those planets , as having dispos'd venus into the place of the sun , and transferr'd the sun and moon over the two eye-brows , and set mercury betwixt them . and all this was done , upon an imagination they had , that it was more pertinent , to place the two great luminaries over the ey-brows , in order to their having a superintendency over the eyes , which are the clearest and most luminous parts of the whole face . but this observance of proportion , though it seems sufficiently well imagin'd , is not a rule for the conduct and guidance of nature . she proposes to her self such ends and means as are more solid , then any of these vain chimera's ; and those , who are desirous to enter into the knowledge of her secrets , do not make a stand at these appearances , but search after reasons , grounded upon certain , and well-establish'd , experiences . moreover , the acquaintance i had with a person admirable in the study of this art , gives me a rational encouragement , to doubt of all these kinds of orderings and rankings of the planets . for he put saturn in the place , where the sun was plac'd by some , and venus by others . and whereas that is the most remarkable part of any in the forehead , and how scarce soever the lines may be in that part , yet there never fails to be one there ; he conceiv'd ▪ that the line of saturn was proper and natural to the forehead , and that all the others were accidental , and , as it were , scatter'd up and down there , onely to denote the aspects , which that planet hath to the others . & that , upon a bare inspection of the face , he exactly discover'd the disposition of the planets , as it was at the minute of the nativity . in the mean time , he made such certain judgments upon these grounds , and i my self-have made such strange ones , upon the rules i receiv'd from him , that they have created in me a persuasion , not onely that there is a true science of metoposcopy ▪ which is not so vain and deceitfull as some might be apt to imagine ; but also that that which is commonly found in books , and whereof such as are addicted to that study ordinarily make use , is grounded on such false principles and rules , as cannot attain the knowledge , which may justly be expected , from an art so miraculous , and of so great advantage . but when all is done , what place soever be assign'd to those starrs , the question still remains , to know , whether there are any physical experiences and observations whereby it may be maintain'd ? for , if we must referr our selves to those of the science it self , it might produce an infinite number , and i conceive my self able to establish the systeme i spoke of before , by those i have seen made by others , and those i have often made my self . but , in as much as the testimony a man gives of himself is not legal , and may be suspected ; accordingly , it is not just to believe that which metoposcopy might give on its own behalf , and there is not any art , how vain or superstitious soever , but may be establish'd by its own observations . let us thefore try , whether we can elsewhere find out such reasons and proofs , as may settle the grounds of this art , and give , at least , some presumption of the truth there may be in it . art. . that not only the forehead , but also the other parts of the face are to be considered in metoposcopy . but , before we come to the examination of the aforesaid point , it is requisite , we should undeceive those , who are of opinion , that the forehead is the onely part of the face , from which metoposcopy deduces the signs and marks , which it makes use of ; for it is certain , that all the others do contribute somewhat thereto , as well as it . and indeed , it is not to be imagin'd ▪ that , it being granted , there is a certain secret intelligence between the starrs and noble parts of the body , and the exteriour parts thereof , in the face , the said correspondence and sympathy should be between them and the forehead onely ; and that the eyes , the nose , and the mouth , which are such considerable parts , and which nature frames and conserves with so much care and tenderness , should not have any communication with them . and thence it comes , that those astrologers , who have apply'd themselves to this science , have made every part of the face subject to some particular planet . for , not to mention the forehead , wherein , as we said before , they have plac'd them all , they have consign'd the right eye to the sun ; the left to the moon ; the nose to venus ; the ears to mercury ; the cheeks to jupiter ; and the lips to mars ; and according to the constitution of those parts , they have laid down rules whereby to judge of the good or bad disposition of those starrs , and of the effects they might work upon the persons . so that those rules and judgments being under the jurisdiction of metoposcopy , there 's no doubt to be made , but that it makes its use and advantage of all the parts of the face , and that it is a gross errour , to imagine , that it hath nothing to consider , but the forehead . this presuppos'd we now come to examine the reasons , whereby the situation , which every planet hath of each of those parts , may be establish'd and confirm'd . art. . that the sun and moon have the government of the eyes . in the first place then , if it be observ'd that all the passions are to be discern'd in the eyes , and that the heart and brain are the sources out of which they proceed , it will be easily judg'd , according to the principle laid down by us , to wit , that those noble parts of the body , which receive some influence from the starrs , communicate it to the members , between which and them there is any correspondence and sympathy ; it will be concluded , i say , that , since the heart and brain are govern'd by the sun and moon , as we have shewn elsewhere , it must of necessity follow , that they should derive to the eyes , the vertues which they have received from those planets . moreover , it is an observation confirm'd by abundance of experiences , that those , who are born , during the time of eclipses , are commonly weak-sighted , as if those two great luminaries , which may be called the eyes of the heavens , communicated their defect to the eyes of the body , between which and them , there is a certain connexion and correspondence . nor is there any reason it should be here laid to our charge , that , contrary to the protestation we have made , we borrow this proof from astrologie ; for it is altogether natural , as all those which medicine and agriculture deduce from lunations , and the rising of the greater starrs : it is not maintain'd by the doubtfull calculations of astrologers , and do not affirm , as they do , that the sun and moon , being in unfortunate places , produce that effect ; in as much as that supposes the distinction of the celestial houses , and the aspects , which belong purely to the judicial part of that science . and i make no doubt , but that , upon these rules , was made that admirable prognostication , which hippocrates gives an account of in his prorrheticks , where he says , that a physician being sent for in a mortal disease , affirm'd the sick party would not dye of it , but that he should lose both his eyes . for since that incomparable person , who knew more of the prognostick part of physick , then all those who have come after him , ingenuously acknowledges , that he knew not the secret of making such predictions ; it is very probable , that this was made by the rules of metoposcopy , according to the principle laid down by us . but what ! it may seem deducible from what we have said , that both the eyes are equally under the direction and government of the two great luminaries , whereas , in the mean time , metoposcopy would have the right eye to belong privatively to the sun , and the left to the moon . it will be no hard matter to solve this difficulty , if it be remembred , what we have said in the discourse of chiromancy ; to wit , that there are two kinds of influences , which all the parts receive from the noble parts ; the one common and general ; the other , particular and specifick . according to the former , there is a correspondence between the eyes and the heart , and brain , by means of the vital heat , and the sensitive vertue , which they receive from them ; and , in this respect , it may be truly affirm'd , that the sun and moon , who have the government of these two principal parts , have accordingly a general direction over both the eyes . but if we consider the sympathy and particular association , which is between the members among themselves , a truth we have demonstrated both by experience , and the doctrine of hi●pocrates , it will be found , that there is some reason to believe , that the heart and brain may have a stricter connexion with one ey then with the other ; and consequently , that one of them may be under the particular direction of the sun ; and the other , under that of the moon . now , whereas the right eye is in a nobler situation then the left ; in regard it is stronger , and more exact in its action , then the other , and that it onely causes the stedfastness and regularity of the sight as we shall shew anone ; there is no doubt to be made , but that it is accordingly governed by the noblest and most powerful planet . but that the right eye it stronger then the left , is a thing so certain , that it needs no proof . for , not to urge that all the parts on the right side are stronger than those on the other , nor yet , that the right eye is less subject to diseases then the other , and , when the fore-runners of death dissolve and destroy the vertue of the parts , this eye conserves its own , sometime after the left is quite ▪ extinguish'd ; it must , upon this further account , be stronger then the other , that it is more exact in its action . and this is an evident sign of its being more exact , that the regularity of the full and compleat sight , which is made with both eyes , depends onely on the right . hence it comes , that when a man looks with both eyes on any object whatsoever , and comes afterwards to shut the left eye , the object will appear to him in the same situation , and upon the same ●ine , as he had observ'd it , with both eyes . but , if he shuts the right eye , the object will appear no longer upon the same line , and seems to have chang'd its situation : which is a certain argument , that the regularity of the compleat sight proceeds from the right eye , since the line upon which it sees the objects , is the same with that , whereby both eyes are directed . art. . that venus hath the government of the nose . as concerning the proof we have , that the nose is under the particular direction of venus , it is so convincing , that the most obstinate cannot doubt of it , it being still presuppos'd , that there is any part of mans body under the government of some planet or other . for , according to the concurrent testimonies of all astrologers , which are also confirm'd by the common manner of speaking in all the nobler languages , venus hath the oversight of generation , and the parts necessary thereto . now it is out of all controversie , that there is a correspondence and sympathy , between them and the nose ; and consequently , 't is requisite , that it should receive the same influence , which that planet communicates to them , and that it should be under the same empire as they are subject to . i conceive there is not any person so ignorant , as not to know somewhat of the correspondence we spoke of , since it is come even into proverbs : but all haply are not acquainted with one thing which evidently demonstrates it , and is this , that the natural marks or moles , which are upon the nose , inferr and denote others about those parts , dispos'd in the same situation , or at least such as is , in some measure , answerable to that they are in , upon the other . art. . that there is a correspondence between all the marks of the face , and others in other parts of the body . and certainly it is a thing worthy admiration , and such as , in my judgment , is not sufficiently taken into consideration , that there is not any of those natural marks upon the face , but there is another upon some certain and determinate part of the body , particularly answerable thereto . for if there chance to be one upon the forehead , there will be another upon the breast ; and accordingly as the former shall be in the midst of the forehead , or in the upper or lower part thereof , on the one side or the other , that upon the breast shall have the same differences of situation . if there be one upon the ey-brows , the correspondent mark shall be upon the shoulders ; if upon the nose , the other shall be about the parts we spoke of in the precedent article ; if on the cheeks , the other shall be on the thighs ; if on the ears , the other shall be on the arms , and so of the rest . it is certainly impossible for a man to consider the miraculous references of these correspondent marks , and not take occasion thence , to reflect on the infinite wisdom of god , who reducing all things to unity , that they may be the more confo●mable to himself , after he had made an abridgment of all the world in man , thought fit to make an epitome of man in his own face . for it cannot be affirm'd , that this correspondence , whereof we speak , is simply in those marks , since they are all fram'd of one and the same matter , and consequently , they cannot have any more reference to one then to another : but it must of necessity be in the parts themselves , and that the association there is between them should be the cause , that one cannot have a mark imprinted on it , but the correspondent member must at the same time undergo the same impression . accordingly we find , besides the secret concurrence they may have together , a sensible and manifest rapport and resemblance in their situation and structure . for the breast , which is that part of the body , below the head , which is most bony and most flat before , is exactly answerable to the forehead , which hath the same qualities . the parts necessary to generation are in the midst of the body , with a certain prominency , as the nose is in the midst of the face . the thighs , which are very fleshy , and sideling , have a reference to the cheeks , which have the same situation . the ey-brow is answerable to the shoulders by reason of the eminency remarkable in both ; the ear , to the arm , as being both on the sides , and as it were our of play ; and so of the rest . yet is it not to be inferr'd hence , that this resemblance is the true source of the said sympathy ; no , it is not sufficiently adjusted , and exact enough , to produce effects so like ; and it is necessary , that there should be some more secret tye and connexion , whereby these parts might be so associated among themselves as they are , and which may be the principal cause of that miraculous harmony which is found among them , whereof these natural characters are the irreproachable witnesses . art. . whence the lines of the forehead proceed . the forehead is , no doubt , that part of the face , wherein metoposcopy finds most work to busie it self about , and where it meets with the greatest number of those signs , upon which it makes its judgments , which are therefore the more certain , in regard there is a greater diversity of the said marks , and that they are the more apparent in that part then in any other . and this is also the reason , why it hath taken the name it bears from that part , as such as it looks upon as the most considerable and most necessary . for certainly , he who shall make it his business to observe , that in so narrow a space , which should naturally be smooth and eaven , there is fram'd so great a variety of lines , points , and irregular figures ; that of these , some start out , as it were , of a sudden , and others vanish , and are blotted out ; that some are more deep , others more superficial ; some shorter , some longer ; some pale , and others in a manner betraying a certain colour ; that there are not any two men in the world , in whom they are alike ; and lastly , that all this diversity of lines may be observ'd in the same person ; he , i say , who shall take a particular notice of all these things , will have just occasion to believe , that there is in the forehead some secret which is not known to men , and that the impressions made therein have nobler and higher causes then any that are in animals . and indeed , upon examination , it will be found , that all the reasons which may be alleged for this diversity of lines , cannot be deduc'd , but either from motion , which gives a certain fold or wrinkle to the skin where it hath been often accustomed to be made , as it happens in the joynts ; or from drought , which causes a contraction of the skin and wrinkles , as may be seen in fruits , that have been long kept , and in the furrows and wrinkles which old age spreads into all the parts . but there is no probability , that the lines of the forehead should be the effects of the motion which it is wont to suffer , since they are different in all men , who nevertheless move that part after the same manner . for all persons have the same manner of dilating and contracting the forehead ; every one hath the same muscles purposely design'd for those motions ; and nature inspires into every one the same motives , upon which they ought to be made . some may haply affirm , that the consistency of the skin is the cause of that diversity , and according to its being more thin or thick , the folds are more or less easily made in it . but are there not abundance of persons , who have the same constitution of skin , wherein yet there is not any line like one the others ? are there not some , whose skin is very delicate and thin , wherein there is not any to be seen ? and are there not also those , who have it thick , which yet is full of them ? nor can it be maintain'd , on the other side , that drought is the cause of these lines , since it may be observ'd , that some children of a sanguine constitution , have more of them then some decrepid old men ; and that it is found they are not alike in old people , though , 't is possible , the drought may have been equal . besides , i would fain know , it being suppos'd that this quality should be the cause of these impressions , whence it comes , that young people , who have wrinkles in their foreheads , have not any in the other parts ? and why those which old age imprints on the other parts of the skin , are alike in all men , and are not so in the forehead . yet it is not to be inferr'd , but that motion and drought contribute very much thereto , but with this caution , that they do not occasion the first draughts of them , and only promote their sooner , or more remarkable appearance . there is some other cause , which draws the first design of them , and , as a master-builder , takes the first measures thereof , and begins the structure ; which is afterwards compleated , by the contributory labours of other workmen . for , to be short , all the lines are design'd on the forehead , even from the very birth , though they do not immediately appear there , but discover themselves after a certain time , sometimes sooner , sometimes later ; sometimes they are deeper , sometimes more shallow and superficial , according to the efficacy of the cause , whereby they are imprinted , and consonantly to the nature of the temperament of every particular person , and the motions of the forehead whereto he is accustomed . since it is not to be doubted , but that a man often transported with anger , or such a one as is of a froward peevish disposition , is wont to bend or knit his brows , that is , to frown , and by that means causes certain folds in the forehead , which contraction makes the lines drawn therein to appear sooner , and more remarkably , then they would have done otherwise . since then it is to be inferr'd , from what hath been deliver'd , that the first impression of these lines is not to be attributed to any cause assignable within the body , we must endeavour to find one without it ; and whereas there are undeniable proofs , that there are certain planets , which have the government and direction of some particular members , wherein they produce such effects , as cannot proceed from any thing else ; it must be concluded thence , that the lines of the forehead are of that rank , and that they cannot be imprinted there , but by some one of those celestial bodies , under whose government that part is . there are therefore two things to be taken into our present examination ▪ the one , what planets they are , which have the government of the forehead : the other , what reasons and experiences there are , whereby the said direction may be confirm'd . art. . what particular planet hath the government of the forehead . as to the former question , there is some difficulty in it , by reason of the several opinions of those , who have written of that science . for some of them do make the forehead subject to one particular planet ; others are persuaded , that all of them have a certain government of it . but these latter are not agreed among themselves , as to the situation of them in it , as we said elsewhere . had they brought any proofs to make good what they advance , 't were rational we should submit to their decisions : but having not produc'd any , we are left at liberty to make our own choice , and , after so many experiences , as we have seen confirm'd upon other principles , we may reject these , and stand to such as are maintain'd upon better grounds . we conceive it therefore more probable , that the forehead should be g●vern'd by one particular planet , rather then by all together , in as much as all the other parts of the face , which are more noble , and of greater advantage then that , have each of them but one of those stars , whereto they are subject . for if there be a correspondence and sympathy between the parts of the body , and that those between which there is such a correspondence are govern'd by the same planets , it being suppos'd that all the planets have some government of the forehead , it must follow , that every part of the forehead , wherein any planet is placed , should correspond with the other members , over wich the same planet governs : and whereas the moles , dispers'd up and down several parts of the body , are the certain marks of that sympathy , it will be accordingly requisite , that those , which happen in the forehead , should denote others on all the members govern'd by those stars . now , it is clear , that they have not any correspondence , but with those on the breast ; and consequently the forehead must be subject only to that planet , which commands the breast . and whereas those two , viz. the forehead and breast are the most bony parts of the whole body , and that all the bones are under the direction of saturn , as we are taught by astrology , it follows , that the said planet hath its particular seat in the forehead . but if that be not granted , this at least will be very probable , that if there be any place more noble then another in the said part , it must be that wherein the said star acts most powerfully , and in which it imprints the lines , which are the effects and marks of its power . and in that case , the line which is directly in the midst of the forehead belongs to saturn , since the middle is as it were the centre and principle of the extremities . from this ratiocination , it may be deduc'd , that the systeme of the physiognomist i spoke of before , is better grounded , then that of the ordinary metoposcopy , and that besides the line of saturn , which is in the midst of the forehead , and that which seems to be most proper and natural thereto , all the others serve only to denote the rapports and aspects , which there might be , between saturn , and the other planets . but how ever the case stands , he attributed , to the said planet , those lines , after a manner different from that which is commonly us'd . for he assign'd to mercury that which is immediately under that of saturn , and that above it , to mars ; the next to venus , and the uppermost to jupiter ; and , on the lowest , which are just over the eye-brows , he placed the sun and moon . and according to the constitution which each of them had , he judg'd of the aspects , between saturn and those planets , in the horoscope , which proceeding prov'd consonant to the calculation of judiciary astrologie . so that , according to his judgment , all those lines belong'd as much , or more , to saturn , then to those other planets , and depriv'd him not of the absolute government he ought to have of the forehead . upon which account i cannot forbear affirming , that the said person had so exact a knowledge of this art that he found in it certain rules , whereby to discover the day and hour of the nativity ; and that i my self , having made use thereof , fail'd not above ten times at the most , in an hundred judgments , that i made of it . now , if the science may arrive to that pitch , there is hardly any one but will conclude , that it will be able to make good its promises , in the discovery of things less obscure and abstruse , such as are the dispositions of the noble parts , the inclinations and manners of men. but to produce any other reasons of all these particulars , then the experiences which the art it self hath thereof , is a thing not in the power of philosophy , which , it seems , hath been negligent in making such philosophical observations as might have rendred the truth thereof more manifest . let it not however be accounted an inconsiderable assistance , that she hath given us some light , to discover , that some parts of the face are under the direction of certain planets . let us now see , whether she will help us , to shew , that jupiter hath the government of the cheeks . art. that jupiter hath the government of the cheeks . nor will it be any hard matter for our said directress , philosophy , to satisfy us , that jupiter hath the goverment of the cheeks , if it be true , that the liver is under his jurisdiction . for , as those parts are the most fleshie , and most sanguine of any about the face , and such , as wherein the alterations of the liver and bloud are soonest and most evidently apparent ; so is there not any doubt to be made of it , but that they are under the same direction , as the other . besides that , the moles , which are seen on the cheeks , denote others on the thighs , which have a correspondency to the cheeks , and are govern'd by the sign sagittary , wherein is the house of jupiter . for we have shewn in the precedent discourse of chiromancy , that the astrologers have learn'd of hippocrates , to distribute the veins to all the exteriour parts of man's body , according to the correspondence , and sympathy , there is between the said parts . art. . that mercury hath the like government over the ears . there is some difficulty to know , whether mercury hath the government of the lips , as some affirm , or whether mars hath the conduct thereof . but there is a greater probability , that the ears are the parts govern'd by mercury , in regard the moles , to be seen on them , have others , correspondent to them , on the arms , between which and them there is a sympathy . now , it is a thing generally acknowledg'd in astrology , that mercury hath the government of the arms , and that the sign gemini , wherein he hath establish'd his principal house and his exaltation , does also govern those parts . art. . that mars hath the government of the lips. moreover , there is correspondence between the lips and the belly , and the moles to be seen on the former denote others on the latter , which is under the direction of mars . add to this , that the lips are ulcerated in tertian fevers , which no doubt proceed from choler , which is under the government of that planet . and this is an observation , which deserves to be exactly consider'd in this place . for this ulceration being critical , and in a manner proper to those kinds of fevers , it must needs be inferr'd , that there is a particular sympathy between the lips , and the humour , which is the source of the disease , and that thence proceeds its fastning on that part , rather then any other whatsoever . i am , sir , your most humble , and most affectionate servant , la. chambre . chap. ix . what judgment is to be made of chiromancy and metoposcopy . what we have deliver'd in the two precedent discourses is all we can say upon a subject which hath not yet come under the examination of philosophy . for though there have been some great wits , who have addicted themselves very much to the study of chiromancy and metoposcopy , yet is there not any one of them , that hath taken the pains to produce the least reason , to maintain the principles thereof . not that i am absolutely of opinion , that those , which i have made use of , are such as may satisfie either the expectation which some may have conceiv'd thereof , or yet the severity which philosophy observes in these matters . to give them their just desert , they are only conjectures and light presumptions , but with this encouragement , that we must expect to run some hazard in the disquisition of natural things , since there are so few of them , wherein demonstrations and convincing proofs can find any place . for , what advantages soever we may have in order to the discovery of man , we shall find it still a work of so much delicacy , and wherein there are so many several pieces to be consider'd , that the number of those we are ignorant of , very much exceeds that of those which we know . and whereas he is in effect a little world , it may accordingly be affirm'd , that we are as little acquainted with the things which are abbreviated in him , as those whereof the great world consists , which are wholy conceal'd from our knowledge . the head is , no doubt , the epitome of the whole heaven ; it hath its constellations and intelligences as well as the other . but if we observe the stars , their situation and their motion , and yet not know what their nature is , nor why they are so dispos'd ; the same thing may be said of all the parts of the face . for , not to speak any thing of the figure of those , which are the most considerable , the lines that are in the forehead , and about the eyes ; the strokes and features which are of each side of the nose , and those that compass the mouth , and a hundred other lineaments , which diversifie that part , and make it unlike in all men ; all this , i say , is easily discover'd , and as easily imagin'd , that nature hath not done it without some design . but the manner , after which she does it , and the end , whereto she designs it , are not yet fully known : for the observations which have been made upon that account , have made but a weak discovery thereof , the number of them being not considerable enough , nor they made with that strictness and exactness they ought to have been . nay , most of those that are found in books are temerarious , and force the science beyond its just limits . for it must be granted , that the greatest jurisdicton , that metoposcopy and chiromancy can have , reaches no further , then to judge of the dispositions of the body , and the natural inclinations of the soul , and that , if they pretend to the confidence of judicial astrology , which would fain bring free and contingent actions under its jurisdiction , they deserve the same contempt , and are lyable to those punishments , which religion hath alwaies condemn'd the other to . but if they keep within the limits we have assign'd them , it must be acknowledg'd , that there are some general reasons very favourable to them , and such as evidently shew , that there may be some truth in them . for it cannot be doubted , in the first place , but that the stars act by vertues , which are different from light , in as much as all the effects which they produce cannot be attributed only to that quality , and that there is a necessity of having a recourse to to the influences , to give a reason of the flowing of the sea , and some diseases , which , without all dispute , follow the motion of the moon . secondly , it is as certain , that there are some parts of mans body , over which those stars have a particular government , and that since the heart and brain are of that order , in respect of the sun and moon , it is an invincible presumption , that the other noble parts are govern'd by the other planets . and lastly , that there is a connexion and correspondence between those parts , and some of the exteriour , whereto they ought to communicate the vertues and qualities , which they have received from the stars . now , from these general maxims , it follows , that there is a correspondence and sympathy between all the parts of the face and hand , and the interiour parts of the body , and the planets , whereby they are governed ; and consequently , that there is a possibility of discovering the dispositions by those latter , and , consequently to that , the inclinations , which accompany them , by the experience which hath been made of the nature and power which those starrs have . i know well enough , that the enemies of astrologie laugh at the particular vertues commonly attributed to them : but there is a certain mediocrity to be observ'd , between those , who deprive them of all , and those , who allow them too much . for no man should be so farr self-will'd , as quite to destroy their influences , for the reason alleged by us ; nor , on the other side , so credulous , as to grant them all those vertues , which the vanity of the judicial part of the science is so liberal as to give them . though there be in it a thousand frivolous and ridiculous suppositions ; yet may there be also derived from it some rational observations , which require a sincere acknowledgment . when it is taken into consideration , what agriculture , the art of navigation , and medicine affirm , of the rising and setting of the starrs ; when it is seen , that the horoscope gives so exact a description of the stature , the temperament , and the humour of those whose nativities are examin'd ; would it not be an insupportable obstinacy , or rather a blindness of mind , out of pure willfulness , to contest against the vertue of the starrs , upon which those judgments are made , and , without any reason , to oppose such experiences as have been observ'd an infinite number of times . for my part , i am so distrustfull of the strength of humane understanding , and i find there are so few things in nature , into which 't is able to penetrate , that , if religion had not declar'd free actions to be exempted from all subjection to the power of the starrs , i durst not , upon the pure ratiocination of philosophy ▪ affirm the contrary . what! we are ignorant of that which we ought to know best ? nay , we are yet to learn what it is to think , and know not how we think , and yet we shall have the temerity to regulate the power and influences of the greatest , and most admirable bodies that are in the world , and to presume that those are deceiv'd , who allow them more then we imagine they have ? it speaks therefore greater prudence and moderation , to comply with the common opinion , which attributes , to those bodies , the direction and government of the principal parts of man's body , as being such as is confirm'd , by the many observations and experiences , which have been made thereof . but it must be done with this precaution however , that we suffer not our selves to be abus'd , by the consequences which may be deduc'd from this truth . for we must so look on it , as not to extend much beyond the principles and grounds of chiromancy and metoposcopy ; in as much as particular rules , which have been built thereon , are either false , or uncertain . and indeed , it may confidently be affirm'd , that those rules which pretend to judge of free and contingent actions , are absurd and criminal ; and that those others , which are limited , and levell'd onely to the discovery of corporeal dispositions ▪ are doubtful , as being not sufficiently confirm'd , by just and exact observations . it were therefore to be wish'd that some persons had apply'd themselves more seriously , then hath yet been done by any , to this curious disquisition , in as much as it would possibly have furnished us with a fuller knowledge of that miraculous harmony which is observable among the parts of man's body , and g●ve the occasion of its being sometime call'd 〈◊〉 mi●acle of miracles . nay , it may be further presum'd that the science of medicine , might have deriv'd some light , and assistance from it , in order to a more exact discovery of the dispositions of the interiour parts , and the making of more certain judgments of the success of diseases . and lastly , the art how to know men would also have made considerable advantages of such a disquisition , and would have inserted among its own rules , such as those kinds of sciences should have supply'd it withall : but with this caution on the other side , as not to permit those other things , which are not onely uncertain , and , upon their ill-groundedness unmaintainable , but also cry'd down as vain and superstitious , to creep into a design so serious , and so solidly grounded , as that it pretends to . so that , instead of going so farr to find out the signs , which may discover the inclinations , the motions of the soul , vertues and vices , this contents it self with those , which are nearer hand , and more manifest , and such as may be deducible from sublunary causes . sect . . of the several parts which compleat the art how to know men. the said art then makes account to comprehend all the knowledge it may give , and the several discoveries it is to make , in nine general treatises ; whereof , the first shall contain the characters of the passions , in two and twenty chapters . the second , the character of vertues and vices , in an hundred chapters . the third , the temperaments , in two and fifty chapters . the fourth , the nature of those living creatures , which contribute any way to the physiognomy , in twenty nine chapters . the fifth shall treat of the beauty of man and woman , in fifty chapters . the sixth , of the morality of several nations , according to the climates , in sixty chapters . the seventh , of the inclinations , proceeding from age , fortune , course of life , &c. in twenty chapters . the eighth , of dissimulation , and the ways how it may be discovered . the ninth , and last , shall set in order all the signs which shall be deduc'd from these great sources ; shall shew , as it were , at the first sight , those , which ought to discover every inclination in particular , every motion of the soul , every vertue , and every vice , and so compleat and give its utmost perfection to the art how to know men. chap. x. what qualities are requisite in that person , who would apply himself to the art how to know men. if antiquity had reason to say , that the case is the same with sciences , as with seeds , and plants , which never bring forth any thing , if they meet not with a soil fit for them ; it is certain , that there is not any , wherein that truth may be more evident , then in those sciences , which pretend to divination , as being such as will become barren and of no advantage , if they meet not , in their minds who are desirous to make use of them , with the dispositions which are necessary thereto . thence it is , that ptolemy tells us , that it is not sufficient to know the rules and maxims of them , and that if the student have not the particular genius , which those sciences require , he will never be able to make a rational judgment . so that before he exercise himself in the art how to know men , he ought to know , what that particular genius is , whereof he stands in need , as also the qualities he should be master of , to make his advantage of that familiarity . i shall not make the business more difficult then it is , nor bring in hither all the other sciences , to keep this art of ours company . i might say , that medicine and moral philosophy are particularly requisite thereto ; that treating of climat● , and the natures of several animals , it cannot well be without geography , and natural philosophy ; that treating further of the proportions and figure of parts , it it might seem not well able to do it , without arithmetick and geometry ; and , in fine , that its judgments being grounded on a continual ratiocination , and one of its rules deriving its name from syllogism , it were requisite , that he , who would apply himself thereto , should be an excellent logician . and no doubt , to proceed further in this consideration , we may affirm , that there is not any science , but may be made serviceable to this . but there is no necessity , that a man should go and consult hippocrates , aristotle , euclid , and ptolemy to become a proficient therein , and balking all those studies , that of the present work will , in my judgment , be sufficient to learn it , and to make an advantageous use thereof . but for this latter , i require in him , who would exercise himself therein , two things , which i cannot absolutely teach him . one shall promote the good use he may make of this science ; and the other shall prevent his abusing of it ; as shall be deduc'd in the two next ensuing articles . art. . of the genius requisite , or in order to the exercise of this art. of those two things , the former is the particular genius we spoke of , under which denomination , i comprehend all the endowments and qualities , requisite to this art : for i dissent from those who derive it from the starrs . it is a fantastick imagination of the astrologers , to assign to every man two genius's ; one to have the presidence of life , and is such as proceeds from the disposition of the heavens , at the time of the nativity ; the other , to preside over the profession , which the party is afterwards to follow , and that does not proceed from the general constitution of the heavens , as the former , but from the particular disposition of some certain starrs , to which they assign the direction of the art , and profession , which a man is to exercise , ; and these they affirm to be mars , venus , and mercury , in the first , seventh , or tenth house . and this is that they call the ascendent , of whose influence this genius is the effect ; this is that which the platonists keep so much stirr about , and whose acquaintance and familiarity they so earnestly endeavour to acquire . but these are no better then ridiculous and dangerous visions , which insinuate a certain false representation of those truths taught us by theology , and such as faith and philosophy do justly condemn . for my part , i am of opinion , that we may say , of this genius , what hippocrates says of the good fortune of the physician , that this latter proceeds not from any occult cause , which produces its effects without him , and contrary to his expectation , but is absolutely the effect of his abilities , and conduct ; and , in a word , that his prudence makes his own good fortune , and his patient's . for , without question , the case is the same with the genius , which is necessary for the art we treat of . it is not some invisible daemon , that illuminates the mind , by secret lights and guides , and directs it , in particular discoveries of this science : but it is a just and exact application of its rules , or rather that prudence , which , putting the general maximes in use , fitly applies them to particular subjects . now , this prudence proceeds partly from the nativity , and party from study and exercise . from the nativity do proceed the natural qualities and endowments of the mind , requisite for the exercise of a habit. this is properly the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of the greeks , whichich we may call good or fortunate discent , whereof , as plato affirms , there are three kinds ; one , proper to sciences ; another , to manners ; and the last , to arts , such as is that , which the art how to know men does require . art. . of the natural qualities which are requisite for the exercise of this art. the natural qualities of the mind , necessary in order to the exercise of this art , are strength of imagination , and soundness of judgment . for , though memory be also requisite therein , in regard there is a necessity of remembring many precepts , a great number of signs , and the connexion and correspondence of many things , whereof this art is full ; yet is it certain , that the greatest burthen lies upon the imagination and the judgment . for a man must , of a sudden , frame to himself several images ; he must observe divers conformable and disconformable signs , and afterwards make a comparison between the one and the other , to distinguish the stronger from the weaker ; in which operation , it is out of all doubt , that the understanding and the judgment are more put to it , than the memory , which hath made its provision long before , whereas the others are hastily set on work , and not allow'd the leisure to prepare themselves for it . but to these natural qualities there are yet two other things to be added , method , and exercise : for the latter brings a man to a certain facility of judging well , which cannot be acquir'd by any other means , and creates a kind of confidence , which may be interpreted an enthusiasm and divine distraction or fury in these sciences . art. . of the method , necessary in order to the exercise of this art. the method we spoke of , consists in certain general rules , which are to be observ'd in order to the making of a more infallible judgment . we shall here set down those we conceive the most considerable . the first is , that our artist ought very-carefully to examine the signs , which proceed from the external causes , which of them are transient , and which are common , and not to make any judgment by them . the second ▪ one single sign is not to be thought sufficient to make a judgment of the inclinations and habits ; but it is requisite there should be more . for it is imprudence , as aristotle affirms , to give credit to one single mark : 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . the third . when there happen to be contrary signs , it is requisite a particular observation be made of the stronger , and the judgment is to proceed according to them . now , we have given an account of the strength and weakness of signs , in the second chapter of this second book . the fourth . our artist is , above all things , to consider the temperament of the person , whose humour he would discover , and use it as a rule whereby he is to measure all the other signs . for , being the present and inseparable instrument of the soul , it fortifies , or weakens , the other signs , proportionably to its conformity or opposition thereto . the fifth . it is further requisite , that he strictly examine the strength or weakness of the party's mind ; for both these have a great influence over the passions and habits , in as much as most of the passions are rais'd in the soul , for want of knowing the causes thereof . it is possible one may conceive himself injur'd , when there is not any injury done him ; and some other may be seiz'd by an apprehension , who hath no cause to fear . so that upon such occasions , weakness of mind is the cause of those emotions , as , on the other side , soundness of judgment smother them . the sixth . whereas it is possible , that vicious inclinations may be reform'd by study , and bad education may alter & corrupt the good , it concerns the artist to add , as much as may be , the moral marks , to the natural , and endeavour to discover by the words and actions of the person , whose humour he would be acquainted with , whether he follows his inclinations , or hath reform'd them . art. . of the moderation of spirit , indispensibly requisite in the study of this art. now , whereas all these rules , and all these observations , are very hard to be reduc'd to practice , it must be laid down as a thing certain , that it is very easie to make many temerarious judgments thereby , and to abuse this art , if great care be not taken . therefore among all the qualities , requisite in the person , who is desirous to study it , i wish him particularly moderation of spirit , that he may not be partial or praecipitate in his judgments , and , above all things , not to make any to the disadvantage of others , but in the secret closet of his own heart , so as that neither his tongue , nor their ears may be witnesses thereof . otherwise religion and prudence would not permit the exercise of this noble science , and , in stead of being necessary and serviceable to society , it would become its greatest enemy . finis . the table . the first book . chap. i. an idaea of the natural perfection of man page art . . that only man hath the sense of touching in perfection . . all in man should be in a mediocrity . that all the faculties ought to be in a mean . that all natural inclinations are defects . that every species hath its proper temperament . why sexes were bestowed on animals , and why the male is hot and dry , and the female cold and moist . wherein the beauty of sexes consists . that there are two sorts of natural effects , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . . that there are some faculties and inclinations , which it is natures design to bestow on the sexes , others not . that there are some parts fram'd by nature out of design , others not sect . . wherein the perfection of the male consists p. art . . of the inclinations proper to man ib. . that the temperament of man is hot and dry in the first degree . a model of man's figure . of the figure of man's parts . the reasons of the figure of man's parts . that the figure of the parts denotes the inclinations . sect . . shewing wherein consists the natural perfection of the woman art . . the reasons of these inclinations . that the inclinations of the woman are not defects . that the inclinations of man are defects in the woman . wherein the beauty of the woman consists . the causes assign'd of this figuration of parts in the woman . that all these parts denote the inclinations which are proper to the woman . wherein perfect beauty consists . chap. ii. of the inclinations . sect . . of the nature of inclination . p. art. . the object of the inclination . the distinction of the inclinations . the seat of the inclinations . how inclination is to be defin'd . whence proceeds the disposition , wherein the inclination consists . how the motions of the appetite are wrought . of the judgments of the said faculties . that the images which are in the memory , the causes of inclination . that the disposition & facility of the appetites motion proceeds from the same images sect . . what are the causes of the inclinations art. . the several distinctions of the said causes ibid. . that the instinct is one of the causes of the inclinations . that the temperament is one of the causes of the inclinations . that the conformation of the parts is a cause of the inclination . how figure acts . how inclinations are produc'd by the remote causes . of the nature of aversion chap. iii. of the motions of the soul sect . . that the soul moves . ibid. art. . what part of the soul moves . that the motions of the soul are not metaphorical ibid. . that the rational soul hath a real motion , as the angels have . that the motions of the will are real motions . that objections made against the motions of the soul considered . the motions of the appetites sect . . how good and evil move the appetite art. . how knowledge is wrought . that the images are multiply'd sect . . what are motions of the soul sect . . of the number of the passions art. . what the simple passions , and how many there are . that there are but eight simple passions . why there are but eight simple passions ibid. . the definitions of the simple passions . the definitions of the mixt passions . the natural order of the passions . that there are three orders of the passions sect . . how the passions of one appetite are communicated to the another sect . . what is the seat and first subject of the appetite art. . what is the seat of the sensitive appetite . the seat of the natural appetite . how the passions are compleated chap. iv. of the motion of the heart , and spirits , in the passions art. . of the nature of the spirits . of the matter of the spirits . how the spirits are framed ibid. . an objection against the precedent doctrine answered . why the heart moves . that the spirits are moved for three ends . that the spirits convey the blood into the parts . the beating of the heart forces not the blood into all the parts . that the blood is not attracted by the fibres . that the blood is not atttracted by any magnetick vertue . that there are not any attractive vertues . that there is not any attractive vertue in purgative medicines . that grief and heat are not attractive . that the blood is convey'd to the parts only by the spirits sect . . of the animation of the spirits art. . objections answered . the union between the spirits and the parts . how the foresaid union is consistent with the intermixture of the spirits , with the blood and humours sect . . why the heart and spirits move in the passions sect . . what faculty it is that moves the spirits art. . of what kind the motion of the heart and spirits is in the other passions sect . . how the soul causes the body to move chap. v. of the vertues and vices , whereof the art how to know men may judge art. . what moral actions are . what right reason is . why the vertues are in the mean . of the seat of moral habits . that there are four powers which may be regulated by right reason sect . . of prvdence sect . . of jvstice sect . . of temperance sect . . of fortitvde the second book . chap. i. of the means whereby men may be known art. . what causes they are which serve for signs . what the effects are which serve for signs chap. ii. of the strength and weakness of signs art. . what judgment is made of the causes ibid. . of the next causes . of the remote causes . what judgment that is which is made by the effects chap. iii. of the natural signs art. . of the difference of signs . of the means assign'd by aristotle to discover the efficacy of signs . that the passions are most apparent in the head . that the inclinations are most apparent in the head . that the inclinations are discoverable by the arms and leggs . from what places the signs are taken chap. iv. of the rules , which physiognomy hath fram'd upon the natural signs , in order to the discovery of the inclinations art. . of the progress of physiognomy . that the syllogistical rule was added by aristotle . the defects of the first rule of physiognomy ibid. . the defectiveness of the second rule . how aristotle makes use of the second rule . what the syllogistical rule is chap. v. after what manner the art how to know men ; makes use of the rules of physiognomy art. . how the said art makes use of the first rule of that science . how it makes use of the second rule . how the said art makes use of the third rule . how the said art makes use of the fourth rule . why the art how to know men treats of the temperaments . that there are other rules besides those of physiognomy , whereby the inclinations may be discover'd chap. vi. how the actions and motions of the soul are known art. . that there are two kinds of actions . of dissimulation . how actions may be foreseen . how the passions may be foreseen . whether contingent actions may be foreseen chap. vii . how the habits may be known art. . of the discovery of the moral habits ib. . how the intellectual habits may be known chap. viii . of astrological signs the first letter to monsieur b.d.m. upon the principles of chiromancy art. . that , of situations , some are more noble then others . that the nobler situations are design'd for the more excellent parts ; and that the excellency of the parts is deduc'd , from the advantage they bring along with them . what advantages may be deduced from the hands . that the right hand is more noble than the left . that motion begins on the right side . that the hands have the greatest portion of natural heat . that there is a greater communication between the hands and the nobler parts . that some secret vertues are convey'd from the nobler parts into the hands . that nature does not confound the vertues . that the vertues of the nobler parts are not receiv'd into the same places of the hand . that there is a sympathy between the liver and the fore-finger . that there is a sympathy between the heart and the ring finger . that there is a like sympathy between the spleen and the middle-finger . that there is a sympathy between all the interiour parts , and the other parts of the hand . that the face is the epitome of all the exteriour parts . that there is a mutual sympathy between all the parts . that the distribution of the veins made by hippocrates , for the discovery of the said sympathy , was not understood either by aristotle , or galen . whence proceeds the regularity which nature observes in her evacuations . that the stars , or planets , have a certain predominancy over the several parts of the hand . that the planets have a predominancy over the interiour parts . that the moon hath such a predominancy over the brain . that the sun hath the like predominancy over the heart . that the other planets have the government of the other interiour parts . that the principles establish'd regulate many doubtful things in chiromancy the second letter to monsieur b.d.m. upon the principles of metoposcopy art. . that metoposcopy hath the same principles with chiromancy . what parts of the face are govern'd by the planets . that not only the forehead , but also the other parts of the face are to be considered in metoposcopy . that the sun and moon have the government of the eyes . that venus hath the government of the nose . that there is a correspondence between all the marks of the face , and others in other parts of the body . . whence the lines of the forehead proceed . . what particular planet hath the government of the forehead . . that jupiter hath the government of the cheeks . that mercury hath the like government over the ears . . that mars hath the government of the lips ibid. chap. ix . what judgment is to be made of chiromancy & metoposcopy sect . . of the several parts which compleat the art how to know men chap. x. what qualities are requisite in that person , who would apply himself to the art how to know men . of the genius requisite , or in order to the exercise of this art . of the natural qualities which are requisite for the exercise of this art . of the method , necessary in order to the exercise of this art . of the moderation of spirit , indispensibly requisite in the study of this art finis . enigmaticall characters, all taken to the life from severall persons, humours, & dispositions by rich. fleckno. flecknoe, richard, d. ? this text is an enriched version of the tcp digital transcription a of text r in the 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(eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : ) enigmaticall characters, all taken to the life from severall persons, humours, & dispositions by rich. fleckno. flecknoe, richard, d. ? [ ], [i.e. ], [ ] p. s.n.], [london : . place of publication from wing. reproduction of original in huntington library. eng characters and characteristics. a r (wing f ). civilwar no enigmaticall characters, all taken to the life, from severall persons, humours, & dispositions. by rich. fleckno. flecknoe, richard b the rate of defects per , words puts this text in the b category of texts with fewer than defects per , words. - tcp assigned for keying and markup - aptara keyed and coded from proquest page images - rina kor sampled and proofread - rina kor text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion enigmaticall characters , all taken to the life , from severall persons , humours , & dispositions . by rich. fleckno . anno dom. m. d.c.lviii . to her highnesse beatrix dutchesse of loreine . madame , to whom should i dedicate these characters but only to your highnesse , from whom i 've tane all the most noble and excellent ; besides madam , i ow not only to your highness the delicious leasure i had in writing them . but if i seem to surpass mediocrity , and approach somewhat nigh perfection , that madame , i ow unto you highness too , mediocrity in perfection being never where you are ; nor can one think of any thing but excellent beholding you ; owing this work then to your highnes by so many names ; permit me i beseech you , madam , withall humility to offer it at your feet , together with my self , with the protestation of being all my life , madame , your highnesses most humble most obliged and most devoted , rich. fleckno . to the curious reader . t is you 'l dull reader , and preoccupated judgment ; not your curious and those have judgements of their own , whom i apprehend in publishing these characters , made lately , with all the advantages and helps , noblest , company , divertisments , and accommodation could afford , to quicken the wit , heighten the fancy , and delight the mind , whose main designe is ( as you 'l perceive ) to honour nobility , praise vertue , tax vice , laugh at folly , and pitty ignorance . and what wouldst thou give for the key now of these characters ? but prithie do'nt break the lock , with tampering to pick it open . to prevent which violence , know that for all the more noble ones , the persons i intend by them are easily to be known ( they being so extraordinary rare , they are almost singular in their kinde ) but for the other , it will be harder to know , whom i mean in particular , though easier in generall , they being so numerous and ordinary , as each one in their own knowledges , and imagination may find out a key for them though a hundred to one , not the same i intended in making them . judge freely then , so thou expose not me to the envy of it , nor obligation to answer for 't if thou judge amiss ; and as thou desirest to have a favourable character made of thee , give a favourable one , of these characters of mine . to his worthy friend mr. richard fleckno upon his characters . fleckno , thy characters are so full of wit and fancy , as each word is throng'd with it , each line 's a volume , and who reads would swear , whole libraries were in each character : nor arrows in a quiver struck , nor yet lights in the starry skies are thicker set , nor quils upon the armed porcépine , than wit and fancy in this work of thine . w. newcastle . to the same , on the same characters . fleckno , who reads thy characters will finde , that they not onely entertain the minde , but with the minde , even every sence has part , being like rich cordials to rejoyce the heart , or moved aire that musick does excite , with numerous sounds to give the eare delight , or oderiferous essences that gaine a gentle passage to refresh the brain ; whilest they with such variety are drest , as every pallat findes a plenteous feast : and th' sighing lover does refuse to look on 's mistresse eyes , when he beholds thy book . w. newcastle . enigmaticall characters . character . of a lady of excellent conversation , you would not onely imagine all the muses , but all the graces were in her too , whilest for matter , words , & manner she is all that is delightfull in conversation ; her matter not stale and studied , but resent and occasional ; not stiff , but ductile and pliable to the company ; high not soaring , familiar not low , profound not obscure ; and the more sublime the more intelligible and conspicuous . her words not too scanty , nor too wide , but just fitted to her matter , not intricately involving , but clearly unfolding and explicating the notions of her minde . in manner , majestique , not imperious , conversation that 's a tyranny , with others being a common-wealth with her , where every ones discourse and opinions are free ; she never contradicting , but when any speak impertinently , only blushing for them , and saying no more : ( a greater reprehension to those , who understand blushing , than can be exprest in words , ) having too much reason to call passion to her ayde , and disdaining to use force and violence ( the ordinary arms of falshood ) to defend the truth , so if you yeeld not , she does rather than contend , leaving you the shame of a victory , when with more honour , you might have yeelded and been overcome : nor does she rashly take up argument , and abruptly lay it down again ; but handsomely assume it ; delightfully continue it , and like an aire in musick , just then , when the ear expects , it comes unto a close : all in her being sweet , delightfull and harmonious , even to the very tone and accent of her voice , it being more musick to hear her speak than others sing . then shee s withall so easie company , and far from all constraint , as t is pleasure to be in it : whilest others like uneasie garments , you cannot stir in without pain ; which renders her conversation far chearfuller then theirs who laugh more but smile lesse , spending more spirits with straining for an houres mirth than they can recover in a moneth again ; which renders them so unequall company , whilest she is alwayes equall and the same . true joy being a constant serious thing ; as far different from light and gigling mirth , as elementall fire from squibs and crackers ; whence she prometheus-like inspire all who converse with her , with noble flame and spirit , none ever departing from her company but wiser and far better than they came . it being vertue to know her , wisdome to converse with her , refinest breeding to observe her , joy to behold her , and a species of the beatitude of t' other life , onely to enjoy her coversation in this . character . of one that is the foyle of good conversation . he is t' others antipodes , & of a quite contrary hemisphear : his matter or some stale common-places , like cold meat grown nauseous with often repetition ; or else some new whimsies of his own , like french quelques choses , with no substance at all in them : his words or low , and creeping ( the very reptils of a language ) or so affectedly high and ramping , as if eloquence stalkt and went on stilts : his manner every wayes ungratefull , in a tone harsh and untunable ; with tempests in his mouth , and lightning in his eyes , whilest he strains his voice to speak loudest in the company , and heats and grows red-hot presently , by force of argument : impatient of contradiction , and contradicting every one ; so obstinate in his opinion , as faith that removes mountains , can never remove him from 't : whence he frieghts all from his conversation ; their words ( just as in an enemies country , in garrison , daring not to stir out for fear of a surprize ) t is a tyranny then to converse with him , none but slaves and parasites would endure ( content to swallow his words whilest they feed on him ) whose enduring it , makes him so intolerable to all besides , so as the wise avoid his company ( just as they would savage beasts tam'd , who unlesse you sooth and humour them are apt on every light occasion to start and break out to their native savagnes ) not always to be in feaver of such an accident , and sick of his conversation ; has neither wit for discourse , breeding for civility , understanding to know it , nor patience to learn ; but by pride , obstinancy and presumption is forfeited to perpetuall folly and ignorance . character . of an excellent companion . he is the life and spirit of the company , that pines and droops without him , animating all with chearfulness , and is like sparkling liquor to your dull companion , that 's only dregs and lees ; his presence chases melancholly , as the suns does clouds , and t is impossible to be sad in his company ; he differs from the buffoon , as an excellent comedy do's from the farse , being pure wit , tother but foolery : he is never dry nor pumping , but alwayes full and flowing ; his returns and reparties so quick , opposite and gentile , t is pleasure to observe , how handsomely he acquits himself ; mean time he is neither scurrulous nor profane , but a good man as well as a good companion ; and so far a good fellow too , as hee 'le take a chearfull glasse or two ( your fine edged knives alwayes needing the whet-stone most ) whilest taking too many , is like whetting the edge quite away : he is the onely exorcist for the melancholly devill of the times ; and i imagine him just like david playing to saul , and they just like saul persecuting him : he seeming to your men of businesse to confer but little to the seriouser part of life ; yet he whets the knife of the serious man , and is to businesse as musick to devotion , apting and disposing the mind to it afterwards , tho for the present delightfully , diverting it . in fine , he ows much of his good humour to his complexion , but much more to his company ( alwayes the best and noblest ) so he may be poor , but never want , or if he do , it is the fault of the times , and none of his , of which when he meets with a favourable conjunction , he is most commonly the artisan of his own fortune , making himself ( with a little industry ) afar better than others are born unto , being the darling of all your great ones , and nobler sort , the favourite of kings , and companion for any prince . character . of one that zanys the good companion . he is a wit of an under region , grosly imitating on the lower roap , what t' other do's neatly on the higher ; and is only for the laughter of the vulgar ; whilest your wiser and better sort can scarcely smile at him : he talks nothing but kennel-raked stuff , and his discourse is rather like fruit tane up rotten from the ground , than freshly gathered from the tree . he is so far from a courtly wit , as his breeding seems only to have been i' th' suburbs ; or at best , he seems onely graduated good companion in a tavern ( the bedlam of wits ) where men are mad rather than merry ; here one breaking a jest on the drawer , or a candestick : there an other repeating the old end of a play , or some bawdy song ; this speaking bilke , that non-sense , whilest all with loud houting and laughter confound the fidlers noise , who may well be call'd a noise indeed , for no musick can be heard for them ; so whilest he utters nothing but old stories , long since laught thrid-bare , or some stale jest broken twenty times before : his mirth compared with theirs , new and at first-hand , is just like brokers ware in comparison with mercers , or long-lane compar'd unto cheap-side : his wit being rather the hogs-heads than his own , favourring more of heidelberg than of hellicon , and he rather a drunken than a good companion . character . of one that imitates the good companion another way . he is on , who now the stage is down acts the parasites part at table ; and since tailors death , none can play mosco's part so well as he : he is alwayes for him who has best wine & fare ( body & soul and all ) and sooths and humours them , even to be of the same opinion and religion with them ( right or wrong , ) mean time although he be specially devoted to the patron ; he praises the cook , shakes the butler by the hand , and is familiar with all the waiters and serving-men ; calling one father , adopting another son , as they are of age , or office in the house ; though he be as pernitious in a family , as moaths , cankers , or poyson , to mettle , cloaths , or health ; corrupting his patrons manners to render them more like his own , and impoisoning their ears with calumnying other men , only to ingrosse them wholly to himself : mean time he is so ill natured , as to serve his end he will fawn on his deadliest enemies ; and those once served abuse his dearest friends ; equally treacherous both to friend and enemie ; for the rest , although with the ignorant , he passe for a good companion , t is no pure wit he utters , but only a mingly of clenches , quibbles , and such half-witted stuff he ( at best ) being rather a pump of others jests , conceits , and storys , than a fountain of his own ; so he is presently draw dry ( after a meal or two ) when his mirth failing and waxing stale he is forced to fall to plain flattery , or they grow weary of him strait , as of dead wine , pottage cold , or meat served up to the table , more than once . character . of an irresolute person . he hovers in his choice , like an empty ballance with no waight of judgement to incline him to either scale ; he dodges with those he meets , nor he can ever resolve which way to let them passe : every thing he thinks on , is matter of deliberation , and he does nothing readily , but what he thinks not on : discourse that helps others out of laborinths , is a laborinth to him ; and he of all creatures would be far wiser , if he had none at all : he begins nothing without deliberation ; and when he begins to deliberate , never makes an end . has some dull demon cryes , do not , do not still , when hee 's on point of doing any thing , which he obeys as a divine revelation : he plays at shall i , shall i ? so long , till opertunity be past , and then as he did the fault , repents at leasure . he is enemy to resolution , or rather as resolution were enemy to him , his heart fails him ; and like a coward he turns back presently , at sight of it : he still misliking the present choice of things as scoggan did his tree to hang on : he could never bet at cocking nor hors-race yet , because the battaile or race was alwayes done or he could delibrat which side to take , & he is only happy in this , that his irresolution hinders him from marrying and entring into bonds : nor i st ( perhaps ) the least part of his happinesse to be as long in choosing his religion now , amongst so many new sects , that sprout up every day ; though t is thought he is a quaker ; and if he be superstitious withall , he is in for his wits , and next news you hear from him will be from bedlam . character . of a fantastique lady . her life is a perpetuall contradiction , she would and she would not , and make ready the coach , yet let it alone too ; drive to such a place , yet do not neither , is her ordinary dialect : she differs from the irresolute , in that he is alwayes beginning , and she never makes an end ; she writes and blots out again , whilest he deliberates what to write : t'on being a resty , tother a restless pain : so you can tell what to make of ton's negative , and how two negatives make an affimative ; but of her i and no together , you know not what to make , but only that she knows not what to make of it her self . her head is just like a mill , or squirrels cage , and her minde the squirrel that turns and whirls it round , and her imagination differs from others , as your grotesque figures do from naturall and from grotesque ; in that these have some design in them , but her imagination has none : she never looking towards the end , but onely the beginning of things ; or if she does , forgets or disapproves it strait : for she will call in all hast for one , and have nothing to say to him when he is come ; and long ( nay dye ) for some toy or trifle , which having once , she grows weary of presently , and throws away . in fine , who are of one minde to day , and another tomorrow , are constant to her , and saturns revolution compared unto the moons ; for you know not where to have her a moment , and whosoever would hit her thoughts must shoot flying ; and fly themselves whosoever would follow her character . of a green-sicknesse girle . she is like a mouse in a holland cheese , her house and diet all the same : whence the more she spends in her house , the worse house she keeps , the walls being both her kitchen and larder too , of which she eats so long , as she fulfills the old proverb at last , the weakest go to the walls : for which should they accuse her of buglary , she has this commodity , she could never be starv'd in prison , but whilest some eat themselves into prison , she ( by the estridge help ) might eat her self out again : she is a great benefactrix to masons , who wher they find her are sure to finde work enough , and her zeale is so great , she has a minde to the church-walls too , where she might sooner eat up all the ten commandments , by breaking her fast , than break the commandments of the church : no nunnery would hold her , but shee 'd break inclosure presently , though for strictnesse of dyet , ( however she eat whitmeat ) shee 'd put down any minume or carthusian ; for a peck of oats would serve her a week at least , whence you are not to wonder if in questioning her you finde her somewhat meal-mouthed in answering you . by her complexion , she seems rather made of chalk or marle , than that red earth adam was made of ; though she be so meager a soile , she grows never the fatter by it ; yet one knows not what a good husbandman may do , for they say , a good husband would remedy all ; but he must take her on credit then , both for beauty and good housewivery ; few else would venture on her complexion , and such a quality , as if she hold on as she begins , she soon would eat her husband out of house and home : onely a millar would take her with all faults , she being much of his complexion , and for her diet t would be at others charge , rather than his own ; neither are the walls of his wind-mil comprized in her bill of fare . character . of a talkative lady . her tongue runs round like a wheele one spoak after another , there is no end of it : she makes more noice and jangling than the bels on the fifth of november , or a coronation day ; such a wife for moroso had far surpast all the variety of noices invented for tormenting him ; and would make a husband wish that either she were dumb , or he were deaf : you would wonder at her matter to hear her talk , and would admire her talk , when you heard her matter ; but considering both together , would admire : nor wonder at neither , but onely exclaim with him , who plum'd the nightingal , she is a voice and nothing else , for t is nothing but noice she makes , and t is the labour of her tongue not brain ; whence you would only wonder how that holds out , but for that it moves with as great facility , as leaves wag when they are shaken with the winde ( give her tongue breath , and it will never lie still ) or rather indeed as atomes move its aire , for t is quite unhung , and neither depends on nerve nor imagination ; there being as much difference betwixt a voluble tongue and hers , as betwixt an excellent vaulter moves artfully , and one who art-lesly precipitates himself : all the wonder is , whilest she speaks onely thrums , how she makes so many different ends hold together ( the composition of a taylors cushion , all of shreds , being nothing to the wonder of it ) but for that she cares not ; all her care being onely for some to hear her talk ( whom she must hire shortly , none certainly else would undergo the noice and vexation ) mean time an engine with so constant a motion as her tongue would be far better than any murmuring fountain , or purling brook to make one sleep , and she wants onely the faculty of talking in her sleep herself , to make the perpetuall motion with her tongue . character . of a taciturne person . he is the contrary extremity , and knows as little to speak as t'other to hold her peace . fryer bacons brazed head was a talkative one to his ; and there is nothing so phlegmatique as his discourse ; you might have patience as well to tend a still , that drops but once a quarter , as to attend his speech ; the counting whose words , and a dutch clock is an excercise much alike : the wheels of his tongue , are like those of a rusty jack , that ever an anon ( for want of oyling ) are at a stand . he is like pharasius picture , all curtain , and who think there 's ought else under it , like zeuxes are deceived ; yet such vailed shrines as he , are counted very oracles in cloisters now where silence is in precept and veneration : whose profession t is to be rather good religious , than good companions ; and whose wisdome is the folly of the world ; and be they their wisemen , they shall be my fools still , who no more admire silence in them than in vegitatives : nor shall ever accoumpt impotency , perfection ; rather when the power of well speaking never proceeds to act ; i shall think there wants ability more than will ; and that somewhat still in the main spring is amiss , when the clock neer strikes ; onely for this once ( since they will needs have it so ) i will believe there 's somewhat in him , cause as yet i could never perceive any thing come out of him . character . of a dutch waggoner . he converses so much with beasts as he 's become one himself , with only this difference , that he is a beast paramount ; and to see him mounted on his forehorse like a dril , you 'd take him for a beast two stories high , nay to his very understanding he is one ; he understanding nothing above the elevation of his pole ; and let them talk of the papists what they will , there is none speaks the language of the beast but he : they were mightily out , who fain'd a waggoner in heaven , when with far more reason they might have fained one in hell : for besides he is more churlish than charon , his waggon is more like hell , where people are crowded together in perpetuall pain ; and he like a fury layes about him with his whip , only in this he is like phebus or the charioter of the day , that he always bring night with him to his journeyes end . for the rest ; t'others horses eats not so oft as his , nor ( for all his twelve houses ) has he so many innes to bait at , and drink at on the way : besides he is more inexorable then the sun for ioshua , with calling to him once could make him stay , which call your heart out , you can never make him do . in a word , he dos nothing well , but whip his horses , and you can do nothing better than whip him again ; for he is saucy and malepert , and as rude as the canvase he wears ; being a very tyrant when he gets you in his waggon once , setting a tax or imposition on passengers , call'd drink-gelt , which he leavies on the first foure places of his waggon , and were ye forty , he promises to you all : now whether this be a holland or flemish waggoner , there lies the riddle , betwixt whom there 's this onely difference , that your hollander looks bigger and keeps more gravity , as one that may be one of myn heer 's in time , whilest t'other will never be but one of the rascall rout . character . of a huge overvaluer of himself . he affects a certain corpulency in al his actions , makes them rather appear inflate and swoln than great and solide , with a singularity renders him more noted than notable : his wit is rather boisterous than strong , and has more in it of polypheme than of the heroe . he is rather of extravagant than extraordinary parts ; and looses himself by going out of the common road ; mistaking the point of honour so , as while t is more honourable to beat the world at its own weapon , he is still inventing new : he makes a faction for folly , whilest he would needs seem wiser than he is , and proves that saying true , nullum magnum ingenium &c. that there 's no great wit without some mixture of folly , &c. onely gaining this reputation ( at last ) with all his bustling , that he were a wiseman indeed , who were but all that he would seem to be . in fine he is so unlucky in all his professions both of the courtier , scholler and the politique , to have his speculations too high , his state policy in the ayre , his complements to the skies , and his schollarship above the moon . princes not understand t'on , ladies not reaching t'other ; nor can the university with all its mathmaticall instruments take tothers height . like too high prized ware then , he lyes on his own hand still ; nor will he ever off , till either he be so wise to bate of it , or meet with such fools , who will over give as much as he overvalues it : nor availes that excuse which some would make for him : how in great figures , falling not under one prospect of the eye ; t is hardest still observing proportion : for why does he strive then to make himself so great , and seek rather excuse for errour than not to err at all ? the lady — then without rivall may admire him still , and he maybe mr — wiseman , but none of mine . character . of an ordinary french laquey . he is as mischeivous all the year as a london prentise on shrovetuesday , and is devillish valiant with his rapier on , but is a poor devill when that is off , and you may beat him part in hand , and part on credit , as you please , whilest he is so rigorous an accomptant , as if you promise him , cent coups de baston : he looks you should not bate him one ▪ he wears mourning linnen whatsoever colour his livery 's off , and he and the dog are alwayes correlatives : he swears and lyes naturally , but steals nothing , only what he can lay hands on ; and if you lay not hands on him the sooner , he runs away when he has done ; though for running t is the worst quality he has , in lieu of which he vault up behind the coach , with as great facility as an ape or tumbler behind his master : for the rest he does nothing more willingly than pimp for you , when if he can hedge in any common for himself , he counts it clear gain , and himself a free commoner ; he having in that his masters leavings , as in all things else ; whilest he that had his , would be finely sauc'd indeed . i say nothing of the dice he has , which however false , do break no squares with him , nor of the cards , in his pocket ( though it be all the prayer book he has ) onely to come to his other qualities : he paints excellent well foure fingers and a thumb , on privy-houses , and flying dildos upon wals , with buts at which they are shot ; no saints mind being so elevate in devotion to paradis as his to the bourdell , to which he runs so often as at last one running mars an other , when he is laid up in some hospitall , and there 's and end of him . character . of a suspitious person . she is her own tormentor and others too , putting her minde and them to torture of her suspitions ; nor by confession nor denyall is there any getting off of them : she suspects every thing , and if you whisper , she thinks t is some harm of her . if you speak loud , she interprets it in the worser sense ; if you look on her , she thinks t is to spy some fault in her ; and if you look not on her , she interprets it a neglect of her : mean time , she goes on with her suspitions , like french post-horses , who when they stumble once , neer cease till they are down : she revolving slight offences in her minde so long , till she makes mighty injuries of them at the last . her surmises being alwayes wiser than the truth ; whilest her freinds ( both for their own sakes and hers ) wish them but as wise at least , and that she had either lesse wit , or not so great an opinion of it as she has ; she imagining she understands the full meaning of every half word , and mystery of every look , when there is none at all : so to every thing simply said , she affixes a double meaning strait , counting it ironia when any praise her , malevolence when they praise her not , flattery when you are of her opinion , and voluntary contradiction if you hold the contrary : explicating others words and actions still as hereticks do scripture in the dark and mystick sense , when the litterall is clear and manifest enough , and you may as well convert t'one as t'other from their opinions : so whilest her minde is just like the winters sun , exhaling more clouds than it can discipate again , she both looses herself in the mist she makes , and looses her friends by mistaking them for her enemies . of raillerie . there is as much difference betwixt raillerie and satyrs , iesting and ieering , &c. as betwixt gallantry and clownishnesse ; or betwixt a gentle accost and rude assault . and if i would habit them in their several properties , i would cloath satyr in hair-cloath , jeering in home spun-stuff , jesting in motley , and raillerie in silk . it being a gentle exercise of wit and witty harmlesse calumny , speaks ill of you by contraries ; and the reverse or tother side of complement , as far beneath as that above reality . there 's nothing in it of abusive , and only as much in it of handsome invective and reproach as may well be owned without a blush : publishing those praises of you without shame , which flattery would make you ashamed to hear . it differs from gybing as gentle smiles from scornfull laughter , and from rayling as gentlemens playing at foyls , from butchers and clowns playing at cudgels . t is nothing bitter , but a poignant sauce of wit , for curious pallats , not for your vulgar tasts . and as barriers , iusts and tournment a sport onely for your nobler sort ; somewhat resembling earnest , and which indeed , none should use , but those who know to make a sport of it : your northern nations being most commonly unhappy in this , that when their wits fall short , they piece it out with choller , and the blunter their wits are , the sharper are their weapons still . in fine , t is a plant grows more naturally in your southern regions , and seldome farther north than paris yet : whence whilest the french would have transplanted it with their others fashions into england , like those who first brought in tobacco , they had but the curses of the common people for their pains ; they understanding railing far better than raillerie : much of the nature of those beasts who cannot play , but they must fall to scratching and biting strait , wherefore till they understand it better , ' i le say no more of it , but leave it as a riddle to them still amongst the rest . character . of one who troubles her self with every thing . her mind is just like their stomacks , who convert all they eat into diseases ; for every thing is matter of trouble with her , and shee s perpetually haunted with a panick fear , and lord , lord ! what shall i doe ? what will become of us ? not contented with her own cares she troubles her self with those of others , and gos more than a thousand mile to seek them out , being as much troubled for the king of china's losse of his kingdome , as for our late kings loosing his . in which she shews much charity , but ill ordered , a good naturall but sickly and infirm , and a great stock of pitty and compassion but ill husbanded and managed : nay she troubles her self with conditionary thoughts of things that neer were , nor are , nor are like to be : and if others businesses so trouble her , imagine but how she is troubled with her own , of which when she has any , what betwixt doing and undoing it ; like penelopes webb , she never makes an end ; nor can any else for her at last , she so intangles it . and all this through ignorance of how much thought and care she is to bestow on things , whence bestowing all she has on every thing , ( as long as there is a world , and she is in the world ) her care and trouble must needs be infinite and immense : so as in fine ) her minde seems onely an hospital of sickly thoughts ; being so thronged with them , there 's hardly room for any healthy one : whence through her proposterous lodging all her care within doors , and her comfort all without , she is so unfortunate to have the one still at hand , when she needs it least ; and tother still to seek , when she stands in most need of it . character . of one who troubles himself with nothing . he suffers none but gay and pleasant thoughts to enter his imagination , putting the rest off till to morrow still ; saying , to day is too soon : and then quite dismising them , saying ; it is too late : he is so great a master in the art of consolation , as he who when he casually lost his eyes , comforted himself , that there was so much saved in candle light , was but a bungler at it , compared to him . he accounts nothing in this world his own , whence hee 's never afflicted for the losse of any thing ; and for the world it self , count it but as a pilgrimage , and himself a pilgrime , that has no other busness in it , but onely to pass through it unto the next : to which since all wayes equally conduce ; he laveers not by sea , but ever sailes before the winde , and makes for the next port , be it where it will ; and by land , knows all his easiest passages , and all his turnings to avoid uneasie ones , whilest to beguile the tediousnesse of the way , he has still choice of the best company ; and at relay : so passes he this vale of miseries ; so easily he scarcely feels its miseries ; neither contracting so much wealth , nor guiltinesse , in living , as may make him apprehend to leave tone behinde him , in this world when he dies , nor finde the punishment of t'other in the next . mean time , that neither the revolution of things , nor inconstancy of persons , may transport , or trouble him ; he has no tie to any thing , nor person , beautie , riches nor honours having never yet the power to make him quit his liberty , nor has the world chains strong enough to make him slave ; he wondring as much at courtiers , as at gally-slaves ; and for those who for a little profit sell their liberties , whilest they call it fishing for a golden fish , he calls it angling with a golden-hook : so the spendor of a pallace ▪ and obscurity of a cottage equally takes his eyes , nor sees he any thing ; in the riches of the one to envie , nor in the others povertie to pitty , more than the means that tone has more than tother ; to make friends and to oblige . thus having provided against all trouble without himself , that nothing within himself may trouble him : ( holding still the mean betwixt idlenesse and too great imploy ) he cultivates his minde , rather like a garden than a feild , delightfully not laboriously ; with studies may rather render it gay and cheerfull , than mellancholly and sad : shunning all by-wayes of doctrine , to avoid errour , and all high-wayes of the vulgar to avoid ignorance and viciousnesse ; nor puts he his minde so on the rack of hope to extend them farther than to possible and easie things ; which failing his expectation , he is no more troubled than at seeing iuglars play fast and loose . lastly , not to live stranger nor enemy to himself , he first makes compact with 's genius , to lead him to no ill , and then follows it , whatsoever it leads him too , doing just by it as by his horse , which he is not still putting upon new wayes , but onely spurs when it goes on slowly in the old : so constituting his pleasure rather in content than voluptuousnesse , and in nothing fruition , may lessen and destroy , or that may be rendred impotent by age : he can never be without pleasure in himself , nor can any thing out of himself ever molest and trouble him : nor is this a happinesse to be attained too , but by long accustumance , and by doing by our minde , just as we do with our bodies . in time of pestilence , that is , by carefullv avoiding all commerce with those are sick , else being once infected , all councell is in vain ; and you may as well bid one that is sick be well , as one that 's sad and grieved be merry and comforted . character . of a chamber-maid . a chamber-maid is as suspitious a name for a maid , as a grammar schollar for a great schollar , or a schoolmaster for a great master , &c. she differs from the waiting-woman onely as single roses do from double ones ; and is a maid of one coat , whilest your waiting-gentlewoman has many ; for the rest , she is the gentler of the two , when she fals into gentle handling ; marry the rude serving-man she cannot endure , telling him shee 's for his betters , &c. she is the moresubject to towsing , lesse danger there is of rumpling her , ( an advantage she has of the gentlewoman for all she is so fine ) there being more provocation too in her single peticoat ( so nigh querpo ) than in all tothers silken gowns . mean while her words and actions are to be understood by contraries , and when she schreeks and crys fie away , lay by there &c. you must understand they are interjections of encouragement , not prohibition , as when she hids her self i th' dark or fains to sleep , t is only that you should groap her out and take her napping , &c. onely there 's a certain thing call'd sweet-heart , and a certain thing call'd matrimony that spoils the sport , and makes her shie and cautious ; for any thing else there may be sport enough , and nothing e'r the worse : for she may be a chamber-maid still , though not a maid ; and if she be right and of the game indeed , whatsoever they say unto her , and whatsoever they do unto her too , shee 'le be sure to be a maid still till she be married , when let her husband look where she be a maid or no ; for others they have look't often enough and found her none . character . of a noblemans chaplain . all ministers are men of the lord , but this is the lords gentleman ; distinguisht by his taffity scarff , his fring'd gloves , bandstrings , and linnen more à la mode ; his cheifest faculty is in saying grace : when by the elevation of his eyes , you may easily guesse at the temperature o th' clymat , or whether his patrons devotion be hot or cold , ( and respectively the meat is the contrary , ) having said grace , he takes tithes of all , as belonging to the clergy , only the small tythes of fruit , his patron debars him off , ( if he sit at his table ) he and his fellow salt together , being both taken away with the voider ; when rising with trencher in hand ( just like one playing at buz ) he makes a canonicall leg de cu ' & be● , and is silenst during pleasure , & converted into a grave cup-board or chimny piece : if he fail of the lower end of his patrons board , he claims the higher end of the stewards ; where he reprehends no vice , but too many hands in the dish at once , under the name of gurmandizing , he being more beholding to his short commons in the university , for a good stomack ; then for his learning ( which is nothing with him ) or his preaching either ▪ ( which is not worth the speaking of ) whilest he hunge there by the beck like barnacles in scotland , till he flew away a brand goose at the last . he takes the mentioning of sr. roger indudgion , with all the apurtenances and apendixes of cunny-tails , and mrs. abigals , though he makes love in godly manner to the chamber-maid , or waiting-gentlewoman ( when his lord has done with her ) by whose favour with my lady if he gets the super intendancy of the family , he vexes the servants intolerably with his talking of collegiall discipline , and the statutes of the vniversitie , with orthodox nose prying into every thing , and if he hedge in the tutoring of my young master in to boot , he makes him an errant dunce , and fit onely for the vniversity . character . of an impertinent governant . she is a fit abigail for sr. roger there , and makes as good a governant for my young lady , as he a governour for my young lord : her wits ( like an old stokin unravelling ) are at an end at every turn ; and had she the governance of a whole school , she would run mad infallibly , though she have the spirit in her of twenty school-mistresses , looking with her pigs-eyes so narrowly to her charge ; you cannot approach her , but like a hen with one chicken , she clocks and bristles up her feathers presently , keeping such a fidel-fadle and tatling , as you would judge her fitter to teach parrots talk , or apes their tricks , than for the charge she has : for the rest of her behaviour and discourse : it speaks her of your under form of breeding right ; her quips and scornfull answers , strongly favouring of the cittizen , as goodly , goodly , great ones ! how say ye by that now ? &c. and but anger her , and you 'le see that with onely one weeks board at billingsgate she would have scowlded curiously . in fine , she is perpetually busied about nothing , and her whole imployment is either in making , or else finding faults ; displeased with every thing , 'cause she knows not what shee 'd have ; with which impertinency she so d●zes and bemops the poor lady , as she learns nothing at all of her , but only to unlearn all she did well , to do it ill . as for her other qualities of curious handling the bodkin and needle ( at which every school-girle and chamber-maid is as good as she ) i say nothing 'cause they are not worth the speaking off , only that by the tree , you may know the fruit ; i le give you the character of the school where she was bred . character . of a school of young gentlewomen . to shew how many degrees they are removed from , court breeding their schools most commonly are erected in some country village nigh the town , where to save charges ( like that country parish that would not go to cost of true orthography in painting the ten commandments ) they have the worst masters can be got , for love or money ; learning to quaver instead of singing , hop instead of dancing , and rake the ghitar , rumble the virginals , and scratch and thrumb the lute , instead of playing neatly and handsomely . and for their languages a magpy in a moneth would chatter more , than they learn in a year : nor are their manners and behaviour much better , both so unfashionable and rude , ( or ramping and hoiting , or mincing and bridling it , as their reverend mistresse is libertine or precise ; ) as their unlearning them costs their parents ( commonly ) more than their learning did . as for their work ( which they most glory in ) you have frequent examplers of it , how some one or other ( ordinarily ) makes such work with them , as the stitches can never be pickt out again , without the mid-wives help : no sweet-meat shops being ever so haunted with wasps and flys as these schools by all the wild-youth about the town . mean time , i 'le not say their grave mistresse is a bawd ( who thinks her self a very debora for government ) but certainly her simplicity is little lesse ; first , gives admittance , then opportunity to such vermine as these into their bouroughs , who when they get their heads in once , all the body naturally follows . to conclude , they learn nothing there befitting gentlewomen , but onely to be so gentle at last , as commonly they run away with the first serving-man or younger brother makes love unto them : when their parents finde ( to their cost ) that all their cost was cast away , and their husbands after a while find too , how to that old saying of choosing a horse in smithfield , and a serving-man in pauls ; you might well add the choosing a wife out of one of these schools , and you shall be fitted all alike . character . of a novice . he is just like a young lover , and his order is his mistresse , who makes a fool of him , whilest he idolatrizes it more than your french inamourists do their phillis's and cloris's , and don quixots love to dulcinea was nothing so extravagant . the more doz'd and be mopt he is , the better still ; t is a sign he 's right , and has a true vocation : and if he have any wit and judgment of his own , they cry out on him for a very reprobate : for the rest , he hates all woman-kinde and calls a petticoat , leviathan ; and a smock but innocently blanching on a hedge : afteroth or the fowl devil of fornication ; he walks with his eyes alwayes fixt upon the ground , and crumples up like a hog-lowse for fear of effusion : he makes as many stops as an old rusty iack , and winds up himself , as oft to rectifie his intention , he says his , our fathers as devoutly as others their our father , and counts all damn'd who are not freinds of his order , as an infallable signe of predestination , the being devoted to it , and the patron thereof : he is as lively after a discipline as an ape , newly whipt , and is no more moved then a statua at a reprehension or reproach . infine his novitiat passes with him , just like an enchantment , whilest he is so stund and astonisht as he knows not what to doe ; onely towards the end he comes to himself again , recovering by degrees ; and the charme once expired becomes like other men . character . of a fille devote , or a ghostly daughter . she is a degree farther from the cloister , and nigher the world than a beguine ; to recompence which , she is more exemplar in her manners and behaviour , walking the streets like an image carried in procession , without stirring hand or eye , wearing her eyes just like spectacles on her nose , and not daring to scratch though it itch never so furiously for fear of transgressing the rules of modesty : whence a fly is as safe on her nose , as a thief in sanctuary , and a flea as t' had pasport may travell where it please : returned home she is so neat , she puts all her cloaths up i th' presse ( almost her self too ) brushing her carefully for fear of a spice of fornication ever since she understood , man was but dust : for the world , she desies it with all its pompts and vanities ( and t is almost all the vanitie she has ) and for the devill , she knows ' all his slights and tricks so well , as that devill must rise betimes that couzens her ; as for the flesh she mortifies not onely her own , but that of her hoch-pot too , giving it so strong allay of carrots and turnips , there is no danger of it insurrection . mean time , she holds her confessor and the patron of his order for the greatest saints , and salutes all the rest , even to the dog of the house with a beati qui inhabitant , whilest of her faith , there is no doubt , and for her good works , you may have a pattern of them when you please ; for she is commonly the best bone-lace-maker in all the parish , though her principall trade be making scruples of every thing ( if that be not her confessarius work more than hers ) to conclude , i could wish my soul with hers , at any time , but not my body beshrew me ) especially on lady eves and other dayes of devotion , when she fasts , wears hair , and disciplines it most intolerably . character . of an immitable widdow . she is a tree thunder-strook , the more sacred , the more unfortunate ; who had long since been dead , when death bereaved her of her better part , but for those living branches engrafted on her stock ( for and in whom ( more than for and in her self ) she lives : she has a quite different computation from other widdows , counting from her husbands life , in tother world , not from his death in this ; nor from his mortality , but his immortality , which every day augmenting by consequence her memory of him , every day augments : whence to shew she mourns not for custom , but for the dead , and eternally , not by the year ; she hangs her appertement all freshly in black at the years end , when other widdows would be unhanging theirs : it s not changing colour sufficiently , declaring that t is dyed in grain : for the rest , she on a second marriages but as a kinde of adultry . incontinence makes necessary and custome lawfull , so far below noble woman , as her high thoughts disdain ever to descend into 't : or at best accounts it but a kinde of theft , or robbing of the dead ; and for hers should hold it a kinde of sacriledge or stealing from the saints in heaven : nay , she counts your widdows marry so soon again , but a kind of murtheresses , killing their first husband out-right , when th're but half dead once ; whilest hers long as she lives ( indespight of death ) can never wholly dye , on half of him ( at least ) surviving still in her . character . of a more imitable widdow . she shoots off husbands as fast as boys pellets out of pot-guns ; and one discharg'd , all her care is to charge again : she is as curious in her mourning dresse , as if she rather courted a new husband than mourned for the old ; and her glass and woman have more ado with putting on her vaile and peak than ( i' th' dayes of revelling ) with putting on her masking cloaths ; nor are these any other in effect she only making an injurd joy under an outward grief ; her vaile fitly serving her to hide her laughter in publique ; as her dark chamber in private , for the rest , she hides all under her widdow-hood : before company yet she makes sorrowfull faces , and squeezes out a tear or two , but alone with her woman she laughs at it ; and all their discourse is , who is the proper'st man , and who would make the best husband , &c. she counts her self widdow'd not for her bosome but her bed ( making difference still betwixt a husband and a friend ) and therefore procures to have that alwayes warm , when her husband is scarcely cold ; whom she presently forgets , never making mention of a former husband , but only as a spur unto the latter , with a god be with him , he would have done thus and thus ; and if they don't so too , is as ready to bid god be with them : so as 't is onely a good dowry and the itch o th' taile that makes her marry again , which satisfied once , she cares not how soon shee s rid of you ; or unsatiat , one suffices not , but she still longs for more : wherefore were i to marry her , i 'de be sure , one condition o th' marriage should be , she should be no more a widdow , or ( beshrew shrew me ) i 'de have none of her . character . of a fifth-monarchy man . he equivocates when he sayes , thy kingdome come , meaning his own ; and i th' mean time , looks upon all magistrates as usurpers of his right : he is a saint , turn'd inside outward , or all sanctity without and none within : his congregation is all in querpo , though they boast the spirit , and they care for no cloak but hypocrisie : t is question whether he more hates the church for ceremonies , or ceremonies for the church ; certainly , he is more familiar with the lord , than to stand on ceremonies with him any more ; and he so hates a gentleman , as he can't endure god should be served like one . mean time , down goes the churches , and white-hall should follow too , might he but have his will : a barn as well as a church or palace , serving them , ( like savages ) both for their spiritual and temporall monarchy : he counting any place good enough to preach in ; and any place indeed is good good enough for his preaching , who teaches nothing but sedition and infatuation , whence whilest others with their sermons people heaven , he peoples bedlam or the common iaile ; calling mirth , prophanes ; melancholly , godlines ; obedience luke-warmnesse ; and faction , zeale : making altogether as unchristian work with baptizing them , as he dos with children . in fine , other sects run low , but he 's upon the lees , calling himself onely pure , like him who being all o're defiled with dirt , brag'd that he had never a spot on him ; so he thanks god with the pharisee that he is not like other men , and in that he sayes true , for he is far worse than they : as for his fift-monarchy , he may expect it when all the world is mad , till when he must give all the world leave to believe that he is so ▪ he is the onely persecutor of ladies , and they may as well be quit of their shaddows as of him , he follows them without any regard of time and place , visiting them a mornings e'r they are up , and scarcely gives them leave a nights to go to bed : whence they compare him with every thing that 's troublesome , and comparisons ( you know ) are odious : he is their vexation in their chambers , their distraction in the church , nor can they scarce be private and at ease for him ▪ in their clossets , or on their close-stools , and when they take coach , they must have a guard of swiz at the boot , or else hee 'le enter whether they will or no . but what do i talk of a guard ? when like a spright he penetrates any place , and is as good as a canon , or petard to force his entrance : whence he becomes so fearfull to every one , as they fright children with only saying he comes ; and old folks who weary out others are a weary of his company : whence he is in every ones letanys , with deliver us good lord : and they pray against him as against the plague , he being far the more incurable malady of the two ; and he who knew a remedy against the gout and him , would soon be richer than mayern , which makes them study it , and many remedies have bin thought upon : some having assayed to make him blush , but that they finde is impossisible ; others have invented severall excuses , but none would serve the turn , not so much as that of business , sleeping , nor taking physick , &c. ill looks , nor ill words wont do 't , and for that way of diversion , som ladies have found out of late , of keeping handsome gentlewomen & chambermaids , they find it afterwards but redoubles of access , what drives him soonest away , is their threatning to put him him to charges of suppers and collations , but that he puts off too , with his wonted impudence ; onely one , who hath travelled many countries , and learned many rare receipts , of late has found out a way , to quarrell him out of their companys ; and to perfect the cure , add but a good beating to 't , and t is thought , he will never dare to return again . character . of a french dancing-master in england . a french dancer or balladin , thinks himself a palladin of france , when he cōmences master and ceases to be vsher once : betwixt whom and the french taylor there has been long contention who should be most modish and liker a gentleman ; till the dauncing master carried it clearly away at last , and but for his pochet might sometimes pass for one ; for he is the onely master of the revels now , and makes all dance after his fiddle . he has the regimen of your ladies legs , ( nay little montague pretended higher yet ) and is the sole pedagogue of the feet , teaching them not onely the french pace but the french language too , as coupéz , passéz , levéz , &c. which they understand as perfectly as english . he fetches you up in your dance with a hei courage , as your carter does his horses with a whip ; and is so cholerick sometimes , as he is beaten for his pains , and taught to know that he is far better at his feet than hands ▪ he gos a pilgrimage to paris every year , and distributes his new branles gavots and sarabands , like precious reliques amongst his schollars at his return , speaking as reverently , and with as great devotion of monseour provost as your pilgrims do of the saints , of the shrines they have visited : in fine , he lives a merry life and a long ; for his dancing dayes are never done , and he is a brave fellow all the year , but on a bal or grand-ballet night without compare : onely , i 'de councell him to hide his kit when he goes abroad , or if the saints spy it , t is but pretending its strings are made of the guts of the beast , and that they play at the wedding of anti-christ with the whore of babylon ; to breake it like your english-fiddles about the fiddlers ears , 'gainst whom their persecution is so great , as t' would even extend it self to the sign of the cat and fiddle too , if it durst play but so loud as to be heard by them . character . of your town-talkers . your town talkers are a company in town , who make a trade of talking of every thing ; they work journey work , and are excellent embroiderers of lyes ; any ground will serve them and t is ordinary with them to add o's and cyphers to set it the better off . they deal more by conjecture ▪ than almanack makers , and are such expert chymists , they can extract certainty out of likelihood at any time . they wish more for ill news , than ingrossers of corn for dear years ; and are sorry with caligula , when no publique calamity happens in their time . they would be glad the dearest friend they had should be hanged , only to afford them news ; and when they have any , are as pregnant with it , as spanish gynets are with aire . they hunt with full cry , and run faster away with a rumour , than a pack of northern hounds do with a full scent . their chiefest game is who , and who ? and they make more marriages , than iustices o th' peace . as for weddings now the arches are down , they are the onely bawdy court , making adamites of all the young people in the town ; and instead of the star-chamber , they censure every one : they 'le venture the repute of lyars twenty times , for that of prophets once , and make such hast as they prevent times bringing truth to light . in fine , t is naturall to them , to speak ill of every one , amongst the rest , making bold sometimes with us in the country , they are not to take it ill , if this once we make as bold with them in town . character . of a horrible wicked and deboished person . he is all over guilty , whilst others are but parcell guilt , his words , actions , cogitations and all ; his mind is a room all hung with aritin● pictures , and the contemplation of them is all his devotion . he is so excellent a chymist as he can extract bawdry out of any thing : and makes cato speak it , nay salomon and david too : he neer sees woman , but he lusts her , strips her naked , and enjoys her strait in imagination ; when he fathers the children of it upon himself , nor thinks he it dishonour to bely the honour of any one . every thing with him , is incentive unto lust ; and every woman devill , enough to tempt him to 't ; silk-gowns and wastcoteirs all alike , he playing at women , just as he does at cards , where every suit in their turns is turnd up trump ; he watches wenches just as tumblers do rabbets , ready still to throw himself corps perdu after them ; whence he has more diseases than an hospital of which he lies in every spring and fall , when his sweat is a curse of his own , not adams sin : mean time , his word is a merry life and a short , and i know not how merry t is , but i 'me sure t is short enough ; he consuming just like a candle on both ends , betwixt wine and women , without which he holds there is no pleasure in this world , and for the other he would fain be atheist , and believe there is none at all ; whilest his manners and ignorance supply his want of faith : for he lives like one , and knows no soul he has , repents more the omitting an evill action , than any saint would the committing it : his discourse is all oaths , and his oaths are all his prayers ( he never but in them remembring god : ) he laughs at heaven , and imagines hell only , a pretty winter parlour , thinks godlinesse and religion but folly and hypocrisie ; and finally for the narrow way to paradise , knows no other , but the common road to maiden-head . character . of a valiant man . he is onely a man , your coward and rash , being but tame and savage beasts ; his courage is still the same , and drink cannot make him more valiant , nor danger lesse ; his valour is enough to leaven whole armies , and he is an army him self worth an army of other men : his sword is not alwayes out like childrens daggers , but he is alwayes last in beginning quarrels , though first in ending them : he holds honour ( though delicate as chrystall ) yet not so slight and brittle to be broak and crackt with every touch ; therefore ( though most wary of it ) is not querilous nor punctilious ; he is never troubled with passion , as knowing no degree , beyond clear courage , and is alwayes valiant but never furious . he is the more gentle i th' chamber , more feirce he 's in the field ; holding boast ( the cowards valour ) and cruelty ( the beasts ) unworthy a valiant man : he is only coward in this , that he dares not do an unhandsome action . in fine , he can onely be overcome by discourtesie , and has but one deffect ; he cannot talk much , to recompence which he dos the more . character . of a proud one . she has as much in her of the antient counteship as would have serv'd six of queen elizabeths countesses with their coachmen and footmen bare , their cup-bearer serving them on the knee ; and women waiting about their canopy of state ; yet is she neither countesse nor lady neither , but onely of pleasure , and at courtesie of the country . she looks high , and speaks in a majestick tone , like one playing the queens part at the bull , and is ready to say , blesse ye my good people all , as often as she passes by any company ; she adding only disobligingnes to her dishonor , whilest she would be thought more honourable by disobligingnesse ; and is but like those tradesmen , who when they have custome enough , grow proud and to disdainfull , and must be sued for their ware , whilest those who want it , are forced to sue to you : to hide and plaister it the better , she has two countefeit vizzards , her painting and her modesty ; both which she puts of a nights , when she lies with her own face , though not with her own husband ; she pretending by her stately carriage ( it seems ) the honour of foundresse o th' order of undisparag'd concubines , nor gets she any thing else by her statelinesse ; but onely , when soever there is a parliament of curtesans , she shall be taken not for one of the commons , but the house of lords . character . of an all-admirable person . beauty alone is too secular a theam for praise and vertue too monasticall an one ; together they make an excellent conjuction , so they are accompanied with goodnesse and obligingnesse ; disobliging beauty else repelling as fast as it attracts ( and loosing all its graces by infusing them into vessels disobligingness makes bottomlesse ) neither is vertue ever so honoured , when its goodnesse is contracted in it self , as when t is diffusively good to all : to speak separatly than of all these perfections , which she has jointly to admiration : for her beauty all you call sweet and ravishing is in her face ; a cheerfulnesse t is joy for to behold , and a perpetuall sun-shine without any clouds at all , joyn'd with such attractive vertue , as she draws all to a certain distance , and there detains and suspends them , with reverence and admiration ; none ever daring to approach her nigher , nor having power to go farther off ; whence that beauty , which in the dayes of ethnicisme , had excited to idolatry ; now only excites to piety and devotion ; sufficient alone to fill the place with votius tables , and even in picture to work miracles ; she being still the greater miracle herself , and so all surprizing as a disease , but as taking as her eyes , would be epidemical , and soon depopulate all the world . then shee 's so obliging , civill , and courteous , as obligingnesse , civility , and courtesie seem to be born with her , and it is feared will dye and be buried with her in the same grave when she dyes ; her speech and behaviour being all so gentle , sweet and affable , as you may talke of magick , but there is none charms but she ; nor has complacency and observance more ready at a beck ; she ( to the shame and confusion of the proud and imperious ) doing more with one gentle intreaty than they with all their loud iterated commands . whence she alone with her sweetness and gentlenesse , would tame fierce lions , and civilize barbarousest savages ; and if there be any feircenesse and savagenesse in the world , t is onely where she is not , and because she cannot be every where : whence heaven seems onely to have made her so beautifull , to make vertue more lovely in her , the one serving to adorn the other ; as her noble obligingnesse and goodnesse does for the ornament of both . character . of a gallant warriour . he is a lover , and the warre is his mistresse , whom he courts so nobly as not onely she , but all are enamour'd on him : all his thoughts are on her , and all his ambition is to deserve her favours , and declare himself worthy of her ; he doing that in effect , which others onely talk off ; hazzard and expose his life for his mistresse , as often as brave action cals him to 't : mean time , compare him but with your other fine gallants of the town , and you 'le see what little pittifull things they 'le seem compared to him ( just as puppets in comparison with men ) he i th' head of an army , with brave feircenesse in the field ; they with little meens and countenances , leading a dance at home ; they slickt with pomatum , all patcht and powdred ; he all covered ore with dust and sweat , the powder of the canon frizling her hair , and every patch hiding or shewing some noble wound ; they finally proud of the favour of some knot or ribban ( their mistresse dog has honour to wear as well as they ) he gloriously returning home with victory , a favour onely greatest , heroes are honoured with : after all which , more to encrease their shames , and his glory he beats them at their own weapons too ( to shew himself every wayes a conquerour ) and provs the gallanter courtier , as far surpassing them in the gentle arts of peace , as in the noble ones of war : with good reason they feigned venus then enamoured of mars ; onely i wonder they fabled him born of immortall race , since in my conceit the fable had been much handsomer , had they feigned ( like our mars's here ) his noble actions onely immortalizing him . character . of a miserable old gentlewoman . her word is , pitty any thing should be lost , whilest others say , pittie any thing should be saved , as she saves it ; for she hoards up candles ends , and scapes up greace ; being so rich in kitchin-stuff , as her very cloaths are become part of it ; excepting her brancht-velvet-gown , ( thin as an old groat with the figures all worn out ) which she keeps more carefully for sundayes and holy-dayes ; nor wonders she at the iews wearing their cloths in the desart forty years , for she has a petty-coat she has worn as long ; her stomacher being a piece of venerable antiquity , derived from the velvet of queen mary's gown ; and her prayer book was a relique of her grand-mothers , till falling into the dripping-pan ( by simpathy ) the dog and cat fell out about it , and at last agreed to pray on it : since when for want of a book , her ordinary prayer ( without book ) is a god help ye without alms , for which the beggars curse her as fast ; onely your sneezers thank her , because they expect no more from her ; for her house , you enter it with the same horrour as you 'de do one , the witches kept their sabot in ; she sitting purring in the chimney-corner like a melancholly cat , mumping like an old ape when she saluteth you ; and when shee'de regale you indeed , sends for a bottle of sack from her closet ( as everlasting as the widdows cruch of oyle ) has served this twelve months all strangers that come to house , together with a box of mermelate so dry , as the flyes have given 't over long since , in dispaire of extracting any more sweetnesse out of it . in fine , to tell you all the sordid poverty of her house , i should never make an end : wherefore to conclude , her coffers are only rich ( whilst she is poore ) where she hoard up all her old spurroials and harry angels , with her deaths head and gymal rings , for whosoever she means to make her heir , which i 'm sure sha'nt be me , i laugh at her so much . character . of a ladies little dog . he is native of bolonia , though of no great house ( as t is imagined ) yet he is his ladies favourite , and the envy of her gallants , for his lying with her a night , whilest he innocently snugs and ne'er thinks of his happiness , and kisses her a days , without imagining any harm ; for which they suspect him of frigidity , and certainly he is so cold as the chimney-corner can scarce keep him warm ; where he lies in his panier ( like diogenes in his tub ) snarling and barking at every on comes in ; whence he 's imagined to be one of his cinick sect , yet all caresse and make much of him , for his ladies sake , and that proverbs together , love me , and love my dog . mean time , his chiefest bravery consists in his chollar , which you would take for the chollar of some order ( of which there are carpet knights enough , who would gladly like him be never out of lady's laps ) but that he has no fellow for littleness , all other dogs seeming gyants unto him ; and he would scarce passe for a mastiff amongst the pigmies : though in homers battaile betwixt the frogs and mice , he would have served rarely well , for mounting the caval'ry , and have put the infantry terribly to rout : but that he was spoil'd in the managing ; he ( what betwixt carrying in the arms at home , and coach abroad ) having legs more for ornament than use : whence he has ( certainly ) much to answer for idleness , but for that he cares not , who never thinks on death ( though his life may well be compared unto a span , his body being no more ) nor cares he for what becomes of dogs in the other world , he enjoying all his heaven and felicity in this ; having a velvet cushion for his couch ; walking on turkey carpets like the grand seignior , being fed as daintily as the infanta or the king of spain ; nor can he wag his taile for any thing , but he has it strait . character . of your ladies coronel . not to be souldier , he was made coronel at first , and to scape fighting , h'as remaind so ever since ; whence he 's a superlative without a positive , or like a hovell all rouff without foundation ; you may call him souldier yet in extraordinary , as they do courtiers who ordinarily have nothing to do at court , no more than he in the feild ere since he brought the name of coronel to town , as some did formerly to the suburbs that of lievtenant or captain . mean time , i know not whether the ladies made him coronel , but i am sure they have marr'd him for ever being one ; he caring more for their simpring , than either for grinning honour dead , or smiling on alive : so there is more danger of his over complementing , than over coming an enemy ; and for his sword , it can so little boast its bloud , as all its gentility lies in the hilt and belt ; and it derives its honour more from the scabboard than the blade , notwithstanding ( though i will not absolutely say , he is a souldier in his heart ) certainly in his words he is a famous one , and for such he passes with my ladies gentlewoman , who for the title of coronels wife is content to marry him : when shee 's call'd madam and puts hard for lady too , fathering far more children on him in peace , than ever he made fatherlesse in war . character . of a school-boy . one may well say of him , as another did of his son , that his mother had prayed so long for a boy , as he feared he would prove a boy all his life , to which nothing more confers than their breeding in grammer schools , where they study boyes so long , they are marr'd for ever studying men : comming thence so rude as in compare with those bred at home , they are like ragged colts of the commons , compar'd with stable-breed ; he has nothing so ready , as his hat at his fingers ends ; which he twirls about in mighty agony ; when he is out and knows not what to say , and if you question him , he looks another way , as if he sought an answer in the seeling , or the floore , and scraps you just such a leg in answering you , as iack o th' clock-house going ( about to strike ) mean while he speaks i th' same tone he recites his lesson in , as fast as a horse running away with his rider , and as loud as all the company were deaf : ever and annon putting his nose in 's cap , and sneering when he is out of countenance : for his learning t is all capping verses , and faggotting poets looser lines , which fall from him as disorderly as faggot-sticks , when the band is broak ; of his manners i say nothing , for he has none at all ; nor is there any hope he will ever learn ; his head being so doz'd with knocking , & breech hardned with whipping , as h'as neither fear nor wit . judge then what hope his parents have of him , and what comfort in his schooling , where he has learnt so many miching and sneaking tricks , as had i a son , i lov'd , i 'de send him to paris-garden , as they do apes to learn tricks there , rather than such tricks as they commonly learn at school . character . of one that shall be namelesse . he is the onely famous ruffin of the time , and is so exemplary vitious , as in beating their children , they bid them take warning by such an on : his vices are heavy enough to weigh down a side , whence antiently had he bin to have fought , they would have desired him , not to pray that the gods might not have known that he was there : he drunk formerly , when he should be fighting , and now talks only of fighting in his drink ; whence he is rather scandalous than dangerous , and they persecute him more for his words than actions ; he cryes out on others not suffering like himself ; like the fox , who having lost his own taile , would needs perswade all others out of their ; nor is it zeal but envy in him , like your boyes , who cry a whip coach-man , when they cannot get up themselves : mean time , he fathers his decay'd fortune on the wars , when t is well known , t was rather caused by his engagements with women , than with men : and were his creditors books well examined , you should finde his name there long before the muster master could shew it you in his ; which remaining uncanceld still , he thinks to do it by wit instead of money ; and to break his creditors by breaking jests on them ; but they are too wise to be witty now a days , and he too foolish not to remember how the times are so chang'd , as those who formerly for jesting , might have begged others estates , may now for jesting chance to loose their own , mean while , more prisons contend for him , than cities antiently for homer , on the gates of one of them , you may well write his epitaph , for t is like to be his sepulcher . character . of a pretty sweet innocence . her innocence is the pure white garment that she wore in baptism , which in others looses glosse , and is quickly sullyed ; but in her holds colour , and conserve its candor still , t is no witlesse , but guiltlesse innocence , such as was our first parents in paradise , of which had they been but as wary & tenacious , they had not lost it so easiely , nor had paradise been lost so soon : she knows no harm , and therefore dos , nor imagines none , her ignorance being a far better and surer guard , for her innocence than others knowledges . she hates vice almost as much by nature as by grace ; nor is there any more beholding to both than she : she is virtue's white-paper , whilest others are onely blotted , or course blotting paper at the best ; and is onely fit to write heavens dictates on . her inocent stole being of the same stuff & piece , your angels are made off , which could she conserve like them , but unblemisht and unspotted she might go to heaven in it without translation , which her noble birth and breeding promises for her in her infancy ; nor is there any doubt , but her high honour and virtuous mind , will fully perform when she comes to age all that they have promised . character . of a scrupulous honour . never was curious beauty more nice nor shie of sun and winde ; nor frugall bravery of contracting spot or stain , than she of conserving her fame and honour pure and unblemished : having such care of its integrity , she dares not trust rumour with it , she fearfully apprehends like some fierce mastiff , rending and tearing every thing it fastens its teeth upon ; this makes her walk so warily for fear of awakening it , so far she is from irritating it , to bark or bite : mean time she strictly examins all her words and actions on this nice interrogatory , what will the people say ? nor moves she apace without first considering where she sets her foot ; by which prudent conduct of hers , she clearly demonstrats , that howsoever foul and dirty the world is , t is but picking out ones way , and they may walk clean enough . and all this she dos purely from the principals of high honour and noble virtue , without affectation or hypocrisie ; and the care shee'as of the pretious odor of her fame , never expos'd ( she knows ) to the subtle theft of publique aire without some detrement , whence no ermine is purer , nor angel cloathed in flesh could be more carefull of preserving its innocence ; nor vertues self could it be seen with mortall eys , could ever gain more love nor reverence than she , who of all women alive , has onely the true receipt of stopping rumours mouth , of silencing calumny and detraction , and purchasing th' esteem and admiration of all . character . of a fleerer . of all wrinckles in the face ( next to those of comely age ) give me a hearty laughter , or a frown at least , concealing nothing of dissimulation , but for your fleering , t is alwayes the counterfeit vizard of the false , the descembler , and the treacherous ( and if it proceed from simplicity t is as bad on t'other side ) to adde the more to its deformity , it has somewhat in it too of the wrinkles of an ape , makes it look more ridiculously and scurvely ; t is a screw'd face onely made to insinuate into your breast , a warpt on , declaring there's no trust to it ; having as many double rinds in it , as a bulbus root ; you may annihilate it as soon as peel it out of all of them . 'thas nothing in it of the physiognomy of an honest man ; open and cheerfull with eyes more smiling than the mouth : in smoothnes not wrinckles , unfolding the habit of the minde , whilest this is a iudas face , with what will you give me for motto to its treacherous smile , or at the worst a scotch presbyterian face , faining friendship and pretending zeal only to cozen you , with all its actions fawning and language flattery ; and if i would paint a greek sinon it should be just with such another physiognomy , red hair , flat nose and gogle eyes , with crouching posture , and fleering countenance , trust them who 's list for me . character . of a make-bate . she is a tattling gossip that goes a fishing or groaping for secrets , and tickles you under the gills , till she catches hold of you ; onely the politique eele escapes her hand , and wrigles himself out again : she tels you others secrets , onely to hook yours out of you , and baits men as they do fishes one with another still . she is as industrious as a bee , in flying about , and sucking every flowre ; onely she has the spiders quality of making poison instead of honey of it . for she has all her species of arithmetique , multiplication , addition , and detraction too , onely at numeration she is alwayes out , making every thing more or lesse than t is indeed ; whilst they blame flatterers for wanting their sicut erat to their gloria ; she wants both her gloria and sicut erat too . in fine , you have diverse serpents so venemous , as they infect and poison with their very breaths ; but none have breathes more infectious nor poisonous than she , who would set man and wife at dissention the first day of their marriage , and children and parents the last day of their lives ; nor will innocence ever be safe , nor conversation innocent , till such as she be banisht humane society ; the bane of all societies where they come ; and if i could afford them being anywhere with ariosto's discord , it should be onely amongst mine enemies : mean time , t is my prayer , god blesse my friends from them . charactere . du tour a la mode . c'est une assemble ou les dames sont pareéz pour le bal , et ou les cheuaux dancent un ballet . c'est un marché ou l'on n' estale que la meilleure marchandice , en reservant le reste dans l' arriere boutique . c'est une blanque des visages ou pour un bon , on en rencontre cent mauuais . c'est une battaile bien rengée , ou le baggage est derrier , ou ceux sont seulement a couvert des ●●●ips d'oeillades , qui sont au fond du carrose , e●●u les primiers ayant fait leur discharge ilz s'en retirent pour donner place aux autres . c'est un festin ou ceux qui vont en carrose sont ●●siz a table , et ceux qui sont par terre les regardent , et devorent des yeux . c'est l' eglise 〈◊〉 la gallantrie ou il y a de la bigotterie aussi ●ien qu' aillieurs , et ou , on va plus par curiosité que par devotion . c'est un ciel qui a deu● monuemens contrairs , ou il y a des estoille de toutes grandeurs , et ou les dames fardées , et de reputation sont des commettes . c'est un ieu des cartes ou tous les valets sont escartez . c'est un triomphe ou les vaincus aussz bien que les vainqueurs vont en chariot . c'est une medaille de la vanité du monde et vicissitude des mondains , anex ces inscriptions sic transit gloria mundi , et chácun en son tour : en fin c'est là ou l'on roule doucement dedans le monde , & si l'on pouuoit ainsi aller en paradis , on seroit aussi heureux qu' elie. character . of a changeable disposition . sure the moon had great predominancy in her birth , there 's such a perpetuall ebb and flow of humour in her ; so as you may go twise into her company , and not twise into the same company : she is a sea without north star , and so full of shifting sands , as there is no sayling by compasse with her , nor without the plumet still in hand : she is all in the extremities without medium ; and now 't is stormy , now sun-shine with her : now shee 's merry , now exceeding sad ; now fond , now froward ; now infinitly obligeing , & as disobliging now again . whence who observe her humour are tyred out and become giddy strait , and shee 's only safe in it , in that flattery knows not where to finde her out : mean time , she falls often out with you , and no wonder , for she falls out with her self as oft ; and now affirms a thing , & strait gives her self the lye ; now does a thing , and presently is displeased at it ; ascenting or contradicting , as shee 's either in good or bad humour and disposition ; and when that is , you must go to a cunning woman to know , for shee 's not cunning woman enough to know her self ; her humour being so marr'd by too much humouring . in fine , she 's a very camelion or proteus in disposition , changing fashions of minde oftner than the french does fashions of body ; and did she change shapes as often as she does minds , none would know her , and the reason of all this is ( perhaps ) only because she dos not know her self . character . of a physition . by sin , sicknesse first entred into the world ; and by sicknesse , death and the physitian . behold , how some derive his pedegree ; others say , that as lawyers ingender processes and laws abuses , so physitians do maladyes . certain t is , he and death are but cozen germains once removed , and both of the same trade and occupation of killing men ; though the physitian escapes ( by money and corruption of the iudge ) and poore death onely is condemn'd for it . an others reason why never physitian yet held up his hand at bar for killing patient , is , because the crowners quest have found it self-murder in those who take physick of them . certainly , they do more harm and good ( for all his saying , that did not physitians kill men so fast , the world would be so full of them , as ther'd be no living one by another ) for with their purging they but fill the world with ordurs ; and for one stool they give a man , they give him twenty pains , diseases , and molestations ; who say that we must honour physitians for necessity : mean onely , that they are necessary evills , against whom david pray'd ( infallibly ) when he desired to be delivered from his necessities ; mean time , as t is said , necessity has no law , so would it could be said , that necessity had no physitian too . but this now , is no ways to be understood by our english physitians , but onely those of other nations , who with their six penny fees , have skill accordingly , whilest ours in with their golden fees have golden skill . character . of the authors idea , or of a character . it gives you the hint of discourse , but discourses not ; and is that in mass and in got , you may coyn and wyer-draw to infinite ; t is more senica than cicero , and speaks rather the language of oracles than orators : every line a sentence , & every two a period . it sayes not all , but all it sayes is good , and like an aire in musick is either full of clozes , or still driving towards a close : t is no long-winded exercise of spirit , but a forcible one , and therefore soonest out of breath ; t is all matter , and to the matter , and has nothing of superfluity , nothing of circumlocution ; so little comporting with mediocrity , as it or extols to heaven , or depresses unto hell ; having no mid ' place for purgatory left . t is that in every sort of writing delighteth most , and though the treatise be gold , it is the jewell still , which the authour of characters , like your lapidary produces single , whilest others goldsmith - like inchass them in their works . t is a portraiture , not onely o th' body , but the soul and minde ; whence it not onely delights but teaches and moves withall , and is a sermon as well as picture to every one . in fine , t is a short voiage , the writer holds out with equall force , still comming fresh unto his journeys end , whilest in long ones , they commonly tire and falter on their way : and to the reader t is a garden , not journey , or a feast , where by reason of the subjects variety , he is never cloyed , but at each character , as at a new service , falls too with fresh appetite . character . of a dull-fellow . he is the mute of the company , and only plays a part in the dumb shew ; or if he say any thing like a pump , he labours for it , and presently his spirits sink down again , and leave him dry . he sits nodding in company , like a sleepy person overwatcht ; and rouse him with a question , and he stares on you , like one newly awaked out of sleep : he looks with his mouth , and thinks you would sell him a bargain , and ask him any thing , and t is impossible to aske him any thing he understands . he may thank god then for making him when he did , for they make no more such dunces now a dayes ; so the species when he dyes is like to be extinct in him : when if he be sav'd , it must be contrary to the proceeding of our sessions's , and rather by his ignorance than by his book . and if he be bookish with all , he is yet the greater dunce , being just like a narrow neckt bottle , hastily turnd down-ward , upon surprize you can get nothing out of him , and onely premeditation can save him from being begg'd : whence like a dull horse , let him go on his pace , and he advances somewhat , but spur him and through diffidence of his strength , his wit fails and tongue shuffles , falters , trips , stumbles and falls flat down at last , never arriving to a period . so goes he on plodding his dunstable high-way , till he becomes a famous schollar at the last : of such wood ( or rather blocks ) they commonly now adayes making most of their great doctors in the vniversity . character . of a bold abusive wit . he talks madly , dash , dash without any fear at all , and never cares how he bes●●●ters others , or defiles himself ; nor ceases he till he has quite run himself out of breath ; when no wonder , if to fools he seem to get the start of those , who wisely pick out their way , and are as fearfull of abusing others as themselves : he has the buffoons priviledge of saying and doing any thing without exceptions , and he will call a jealous man cuckold , a childe of doubtfull birth bastard , and a lady of suspected honour whore , and they but laugh at it ; and all schollars are pedants & physitians , quaks with him , when to be angry at it is the avowing it . then in ladies chambers , he will tumble beds , and towse your ladies drest up unto the height , to the hazzard of a bed-staff thrown at his head , or rap o're the fingers with a busk , and that is all ; onely in this , he is far worse than the buffoon , since they study to delight , this onely to offend ; they to make merry , but this onely to make you mad , whence wo be t' ye if he discovers any imperfection or fault in you , for he never finds a breach , but he makes a hole of it , nor a hole but he tugs at it so long till he tear it quite ; giving yt for reason of his incivility , because ( forsooth ) it troubles you ) which would make any civil man cease troubling you . so he wears his wit , as bravo's do their swords , to mischief and offend others , not as gentlemen to defend themselves : and t is crime in him , what is ornament in others ; he being onely a wit at that , at which a good wit only is a fool . especially , he triumphs over your modest man ; and when he meets with a simple body , passes for a wit , but a wit indeed makes a simplician of him ; so goes he persecuting others till some one or other at last , ( as chollerick as he is abusive ) cudgell him for his pains , when he goes grumbling away in mighty choler , saying , they understand not iest , when indeed t is rather he . character . of troublesome kindnesse . his kindnesse is as troublesome as others ceremonies , and his stroakings as painfull as others stroaks ; he asks ye with a great deal of joy when he sees ye , whether you be there or no ? and shakes you by the hand till has shak't it out of joint , telling you twenty times , he is glad to see you well ; and if he embrace you , and get you in the hug , you had as good fall into the hands of a cornish wrastler : he asks you so often how you do ? as he makes you doubt whether you be well or no , when indeed t is rather his disease than yours : he is troublesome at table with bidding you heartily welcome , and often drinking to you ; and being a little tippled he kisses man , woman and childe , and out gos all his secrets whispered in your ear : ( the shaking by the hand still , in all his kindnesses entring as a necessary ingredient ) but above all he is most troublesome when you are sick , with his how d'yees ? and pray be well , so as you would give as much to be rid of his visits , as you are forc't to give the physitian for his : neither are you at quiet when he is absent , but still he writes unto you , and his letters are fill'd with commendations , till they run over the margent ; and he be forced to end with my paper will give me leave to write no more . in fine , his kindnesse is rather that of children than of a freind ; rather out of weaknesse than judgment ; more luscious than sweet , clearly demonstrating that one may far sooner be cloid with such slight junkets than with more solid food . character . of a iansenist . a iansenist is a new name for an heretick , & the first heretick that ever was catholick : let us imagine then ( to please the mollenists ) your iansenists condemned for hereticks at rome , by the pope ex cathedra , with all his cardinals , and the iesuits making bonfires for joy . then more to increase their joy and bonfires ; let us imagine them again burnt for french hugonots in spain , the jesuits ( of their wonted charity ) assisting them to the fire , and exhorting them to die penitent ; which they refuse ( like obstinate hereticks as they are ) accusing the iesuits violent wrestling their propositions to heresie , which were catholick enough before , telling them they take their measures of catholick or heretick , as they are contrary , or according to their dogmas and principalls ; and for their condemnation , say that they are rather unfortunate then criminal , and that oftentimes the sentence may be just , and yet the person condemned innocent . after which return we to france , and imagine the horrible bustle that is there : the gallicane church , not admitting their ipse dixit , so easily and absolutely without distinction as the rest do in spain and italy &c. but there the iansenists struggle with the molinists still , and write divers pernicious books against them , amongst the rest , one lately entitled the provincials , making a terrible combustion ( confuted by the hangman , who publickly burned it . ) they springing up as fast as hydras every day , whilest the iesuits quell them as fast , like hercules with his club ; for which finally they triumph , representing father arnoult with all the ring-leaders of the iansenists blown up like crackers in a puppet play , and all their followers at noyce and hubbub of it , running away like frighted dogs with bottles of excommunication at their tailes , with all the jesuits scholars houting after them , and all those of different religions in other nations , making their sport at it , notwithstanding all which , iansenius may be a very honest man . character . of a certain nobleman his dignity at home , is double the same stile abroad , and mind and person answerable to his dignity : his titles become him as they were made for him , and he shews greater the higher he is in place : he blazons his arms by vertues not colours , and his pedigree that 's but boast with others , is but chronicle with him : he remembers his ancestors more to their praise than his own ; and suffers them to get the start of him in nothing but priority of time : he is great not swoln , high not lofty , humble not stouping , raising his inferiours up to him , without abasing himself to them , ( this being an act of weaknesse , that of power ) in fine , he swels not with speaking big , but is courteous and affable to all , holding courtesie so main an ornament of nobility , as that nobleman ( he imagines ) disguises but himself , and puts on pesants cloathing , who is discourteous ; above all he holds loyalty so essentiall to a nobleman , as who proves disloyall once ( he imagines ) not onely degrades himself , but even his posterity of their nobility . character . of an other . he is merry and facetious ▪ dispatching more business with dallying and tryfling , than others with all their plodding and seriousnes ; and his grimaces are worth all their supercilious gravity : he is your only universall courtier , belov'd of all , and no wonder for he has kindred and alliance with every one , calling one father , an other son ; one mother , another wife ; giving the younger , the ageder title still ; and the old the younger , to be more facetious , and endear himself the more : he has nothing in him of saturnin and tetricall , but is all pleasant and joviall , wiping from old age , all the blemishes and imputations cast upon 't by time ; and smoothing all the wrinkles of the mind , which commonly accompany the wrinkles of the face ; nature being so fearfull he should ever grow wholly old : as it gives him a youthfull minde in an aged body still ; so whilest he enters singing , and goes out dancing in all companies where he comes , he chases melancholly so far away , as it can never return so long as hee 's in place . character . of a naturall beauty . whether a chearfull aire does rise , and elevate her fairer eyes ; or a pensive heavinesse : her lovely eye-lids does depresse , still the same becoming grace accompanyes her eyes and face ; still you 'de think that habit best , in which her count'nance last was drest . poore beauties ! whom a blush or glance can sometimes make look faire by chance , or curious dresse , or artfull care , can make seem fairer than they are , give me the eyes , give me the face , to which no art can add a grace : give me the looks , no garbe nor dresse , can ever make more faire or lesse . finis . apendex . of an artificiall beauty . an artificial beauty , lives poorly by shifting and borrowing , whilest your naturall one , is rich and lives on its own revenues : she is a living picture of her self , of which she is onely the priming cloath , or rather a loame wall plaistered and dawbed ore ; for she imploys the trowell rather than pencill , and her painting is so palpable , as if she sought not colour to hide it , but rather to publish it : she is always complaining now of a cold , now that she sleeps not well a nights , that you may impute her ill looks unto that accident : she is more troubled with her mouches or flyes , than a gald horse in summer , now giving this a remove , now a dab with the finger , as if she were killing that ; and ever and annon her glasse gos out , to see if nothing needs reparation , it being so fragile a tenement , as the very sun and aire decays it , whence she is so fearfull of every breath , that we may well say of her , that her colluctation is against the spirits of the aire : mean time , she is as dexterous at the fan as a butcher at the fly-flap , or fencer on my lord mayors-day , at the two handed sword : & but imagine how aprehensive she must be of the fire of the other world , when she apprehends so much the fire of this : to which she dares not approach , nor so much as laugh for fear of warping her complexion , so it alters her humour , as well as her feature , and renders her so diffident of her self , as she is still seeking out dark corners , to vent her false and counterfeit visage , as false coyners and cousening tradesmen to put off their false money and counterfeit merchandise : shee having onely this advantage by it , that no shame can make her blush , nor sicknesse pale . if it be an advantage to become wholly shamelesse , and have a face , any sick bodys may be as fair as hers . character . of a petty-politick . petty-policie , is onely wisdome distemperd into craft , and who use it may well be stil'd crafty , but never wise . t is to policy of state , as pedling to merchanding ; or rather as mous-traps and tinder-boxes to archimedes glasses of fyring navies , and caesars machins of expugning towns ; never great spirit used it , nor great action was done by it yet , and all the advantage it has , it rather steals than gains . it pieces not out the lyons skin with the foxes taile , but is all fox skin , and even stincks again . it ever walks vizzarded , & you can never know its true face , but may alwayes know that it is false : like the gordian knot it amuses and puzzles you , and may be cut far sooner than untyed : mean time who use it , may well be stil'd politiques in decimo sexto , and are to state-politicians , as apes to men , more full of tricks and quirks than they , and nothing else ; or like your lesser wheels , which seem to whirle faster about than great ones , though their progresse be far lesse ; in fine , t is treachery in fight , perfidiousnes in love , cousenage in gaming , deceit in bargaining ; and whosoever uses it in plain english is knave , though the qualifying terms be a politician . of a hom-bred country-gentleman . his cloaths are more gawdy than fashionable , and his face more out of fashion than his cloaths : he knows not how to look in company ▪ and is shameface'd , and yet impudent ; either at arms end with you , or in your bosome presently : and spaniel-like stroak him , and he leaps into your lap , if not , he snarls and offers to bite at you . his chiefest discourse is of his hawks and hounds , and he will tell ladies what a fine horse he has : he is never at so high a flow of talk , as after a horse-race , and then it ebs by degrees untill the next again : he drinks , and t is gentleman like when he is drunk with wine , but he 's such a clown , as he 'le be drunk with beer ; when he fumes and vapours it most fearfully . for wenching t is the innocent'st vice he has , for hee 's too miserable to go the charges of silk-gowns , and wastecotiers for fear of trapanning he dare not venture on : mean time , his man iohn and he have many a dry dialogue about his marriage , and he waits on ladies with fear and trembling , at the horrible charges and expences they may put him too , being never willingly at more than a bottle of ale or a pound of cheries at a time ; and for hide-park , spring-garden , and the new exchange , he abhors the very name of them , so unlesse he have a good estate ; t is long enough erre he get a wife in town , and if he have , twenty to one , but some wife at last gets him , whom he posts down as soon as may be , preaches good housewifery unto her , has some new religion preached unto him , with which he edifies and gets children apace , and becomes a very cormudgion in the country . character . of a common acquaintance . he wears out his bosome with embrasing every one , and dirties his palm with shaking them by the hand ; like a spaniel he fawns upon every one he meets , and will needs know you whether you will or no ; he smiles on you , if you but look on him , and smile on him , and the acquaintance strait is made : his familiarity like engins of great swinges clasps easily , but without much violence can't be unclaspt again : he picks acquaintance out of every face he has but seen once before , and cals every one he has but seen twice a friend ; after which follows kindred and affinity ( he having more couzens than will summers had , and they are much as neer a kin , as pach and he . in fine , his plurality of acquaintance is but a seraglio , or wild concubinage , whilest your friend onely marries himself to one , and the apetite of them is a disease in him , much like that of the wolf , which makes him eat and ravine up every one , not knowing how of all surfeits that of acquaintance is the worst , and they make themselves by it so common cheap , and contemptible , as any man that 's wise , had as lieve be the hundreth man in an intaile , as the fiftieth man in their acquaintances . character . of a young envoy . if you would deceive him tell him truth , and believe what he sayes if you would deceive your self ; for he thinks he has publique faith enough , without needing any particular of his own : he is as intoxicate with his instructions , as a scotch presbyterian with reading the apocalyps , and makes mists and misteries of state of every thing ; he thinks he onely understands the politick wheels within , whilest the rest like dull gazers onely behold the dials hand without , for want of experience to know , what to keep secret and what not , he makes a secret of every thing , and not to be catcht , lies still upon the catch : so till he grow up to a greater state-engin : he is but a politique mouse-trap yet : at the receit of good news , he wearies out himself and horses with giving advice of it ; but at bad he is husht , and he and his horses rest ; onely his brain labours how to extinuate it ; deny it , or turn the ill report upon the enemy , till the shame and and novelty be over , which quaintly done , he gets more reputation , by lying than ever any got by telling truth : so returns he at last with reputation of a great minister making religion serve to state , & state to all destructive purposes , when his salvation may well be dispaired of , or finding his conduct of affairs traduc'd at his return : in midst of the disgraces of fortune and the court , he may chance be sav'd at last , and dye repentant , with this saying , of woolsey in his mouth , that had he served god but half as faithfully as he did his prince , he had never come to that . of a degenerate lord . he is a certain seely thing , who since he had no voice in parliament , scarcely knows what to say : he has made the name of lord a mock name now , and almost as ridiculous as that of lord of misrule was in antient times , and they shun him as they do , lord have mercy upon us , upon doores ; and that deservedly ; for he has brought a plague upon himself , in imagining he should be any thing , whilest they were nothing , who made him all he is . as if the stars should conspire to deprive the sun of light , or streams to dry up the fountain , whence they flow'd ; when who would pitty them to see every farthing candle , or glow-worm out shine the one , and tothers swoln greatness at so low an ebb , as those boldly stride over it now , who before even trembled at the approach of it : mean time he sneaks in his title , like one in a stoln cloak , afraid to be seen in it : and none takes notice of him now , unlesse some one in scorn perhaps points at him , and sayes , there goes a lord , or jostles him a purpose , who was wont in former times like mandarious , to make whole streets retyre to give him way : all the priviledge of such peers as these , being onely to have every base fellow without commission search their house , every tradesman cite them before their worships at next shire town , and the common serjeant drag them away to prison , where they are honorably lodg'd in the dungeon , whilest every rug-gown and apron-man , has priviledge to be coacht thither , and lodg'd in the rules or master-sides : and this fine prerogative they have got , would needs pluck down the king , ( forsooth ) onely to be promoted to the kings bench themselves . character . of a high-spirited man . his minde is a thought higher than any other mans , and has influence even on his body , and elevates that with all ; whence he walks on terrasses , rather than on the ground , and should more scorn to be seen in plebean company , than in plebean cloathing ; nor can any look so high , but he'el borrow galileas optique , or he'el look as high as they ; and a look , a squint is a fascination , makes him look a squint as far the other way : he is like a glasse that renders every one , the same countenance as they give him , and except god and his prince , can soveraignly dispose of soul and body , he cares for offending none , who first offendeth him . he is more angry with himself than you when you answer not his salutation , and next time he meets ye be sure he 'le not answer yours : being as impatient when you undervalue him , as a proud city dame , when you underbid her ware : and sooner stir'd up to disdain by a neglect than any cholerick man to anger by offence ; so t is hard putting an affront on him , but they shal seem to have received one who offered it : yet he 's more singular than proud , and though he knows his degrees of persons , knows himself so well withall , as he will converse with no subject but on equall terms , counts none greater that has a lesser minde than he : loves nobility not for their titles , but their persons , and can onely smile on princes ; as for the rest , he is civill and courteous , and that is all . character . of a proud ●●ne she has as much in her of the antient counteship as would have served six of queen elizabeths countesses , with their coach-men and foot-men bare , their cup-bearer , serving them on the knee , and women waiting about their canopy of state : yet is she nor countesse , nor lady neither ; but onely of pleasure , and at courtesie of the country : she looks high and speaks in a majestique tone , like one playing the queens part at the bull , and is ready to say , blesse ye my good people all , as often as she passes by any company ; though she stirs no more when they do her reverence than than if she had wish't , would i might never stir , and t' were a curse laid on her ; she paints to hide her age , and to hide her painting dares not laugh , whence she has two counterfeit vizzards to put off a nights ; her painting and modesty , when she lies with her own face , though not with her own husband : mean time , her froid mine or stately demeanour , is variously censured , some saying t is for want of wit , others that she spends so many spirits a nights , it makes her the more dull a dayes : some that she 's founding an order of undisparaged concubines , and t is the modest habit they are to be cloathed in : others again , that shee 's like your tradse-women , who when they have custome enough , are proud and disdainfull , and must be sued too for their ware : whilest those who want it are forc'd to sue to you . in fine , all accord in this , that she is more coy than becomes any honest woman , and all shee 's like to get , by her pride and statelinesse , is that whensoever there is a parliament of courtesans , she should not be for the commons , but the house of lords . character . of a low spirited man . he is low born , and never seeks to raise himself higher than his birth ; nor is this content or humility in him , but sloath and basenes : his soul lives in a cellar ; and all his words and actions , even to his very apparell favours of under breeding . the senciblest displeasure you can do him is to his body ; and he is more troubled at losse of money , than reputation : he slinks in company , and playes at boe peep behinde the rest , being such a friend of obscurity ; as you cannot do him a greater displeasure , than to take no notice of him in company : like the sensible tree he contracts and shrinks up himself at every little touch , and looks on him ; and you daunt him , and strike his eys inward strait ; and his words congeale in his mouth through fear , and want breath still to finish a period : his language too is as low as the rest ; whilest he cals a valiant man a kill-cow , a jest , a frump , and urge him to make hast , and he will tell ye , he is none of the hastings'es : for the rest , he speaks of every thing in the superlative , shewing the littlenesse of his minde , by counting all thing so great : so lives he , thinking , saying , and doing nothing , but mean things , in mean company and mean condition all his life , having neither virtue nor vice enough to raise himself above the common sort ; whence where you left him at his birth , there you finde him at his death , without making any progresse in the world at all : so many years having rather past over him , than he past over so many years , being onely able to render this accompt , when he comes to die , that he was just as long a dying as he did live . character . of a petty french lutenist in england . he is a fellow who coms into england with an ill meen , and thred-bare cloaths , and there presently sets up a court of judicature , arraigning both musick , instruments , and musicians , for not being a la mode de france ; the twelve ranks of strings o th' lute , the double neck , the lessons , the method of ●laying , and almost the hands too , for not being mangy about the wrists like his : he belies great masters ; and teaches but his own imperfections : and if his fingers be so weak , they can scarce crawle o're a lute , then to play gently and softly is the mode , and doucement is the word : and if so gouty and child-blaind , as he rakes the strings worse than if they were grated on by a ragged staff : then fort and gallyard is the word , and strong and lusty is the mode agen ; and if you like not his play , he tels ye at least , that he has the only new method of paris , and that he teaches a ravir and non pareille , and for his lessons ( which he has rakt out of gualtiers dung-hill , or collected from the privy-house of defaut ) he keeps them as precious reliques , giving such out for new , as were made before the avignon , or the popes coming there : he is fawning where he is a stranger , and saucy where he is familiar , having ever some vice to teach besides his art : in fine , he is the mountebank of himself , and though he have nothing at all considerable to commend him , besides his own praises , and his being french ( for which reason one may commend the pox as well ) yet there is such a charm in this word , a la mode , and the english are so besotted with it , as the first frenchman has their money , who proffers to teach it them ; nor will this ever be remedied , till some such zealous patriot step up , as he who hearing them talk of the french pox , bid them call it the english with a pox , swearing we had as good of our own , as the french had any . character . of a flatterer . he is a mid sort of animal betwixt man and beast ; with the manners of beast , under the resemblance of a man : nay he is a compound of all base vilde beasts together , a dog in fawning , an ape in imitating , a fox in faining and dissembling , and an asse in suffering and bearing every thing : he is so base as he makes not only servitude his daily food , but even the ordures of those he serves : and is worse than those who sell themselves unto the gally's , for they yet perform the offices of men , and have their minds free though their bodies thrale : but he inslaves both mind and body too ; and can neither look with the assurance , nor speak with the confidence of a free-born man : making a vilder merchandise the whilest , then he who sold vrine , or the pallace smoak , for he for slight benefits sels his own injuries , & to live a slave sells the dignity of an honest man ; neither do they make better merchandise , who purchase him , who whilst he sooths their humours , corrupts their manners , and flatters them into vice : being so infectious , as even to render those he flatters archflatterers of themselvs , with his vild arts like those who angle with intoxicating baits , catching them sooner ( t is true ) but rendring them nothing worth when they are caught : we may conclude then the prayer of him who of all wilde beasts desired to be delivered from a tyrant , and of all tame , from a flatterer , with this curse on the flatterer , that he may never live but under tyrants , it being but just , that they should suffer the pain and penalty of their being such , who make them so . character . of a faire and virtuous lady . she is the honour of her sex and that to beauty , as beauty is to others all grace and ornament , her virtue like a charm rendering her beauty invulnerable against malicious tongues ; and that which in others is fragile and of glasse , so malleable in her as it can neither be broke nor crackt , whence she onely has priviledge freely to dresse her self , without suspition of harm ; and enjoy all lawfull pleasures without danger of unlawfull ones ; whilst all is suspicious and dangerous in others : to conclude then , as antiently your semi gods in marrying with mortals communicated to them their divinity , so her beauty by the marriage of sacred virtue is consecrate and rendred all celestiall and divine ; those titles which others incuriously usurp , onely of right appertaining unto her , who becomes more venerable by age and imortall by death it self , her virtue having raised her above time and mortallity . character . of a quarrelsome coxcomb . he differs as much from a valiant man , as a wrangling sophister from a great schollar , or dull rumbling thunder in a cloud , from your quick on , that breaketh forth in storms ; he is ready to give you the lye before you speak , and then contradicts you what so ere you say , when to avoid fighting , he tells you how often he has fought , and how many he has kil'd , and some believe him , because indeed they could never see any alive , whom he had fought withall , though others are of a contrary opinion , saying , of all men living , they would choose to be kil'ld by him , for so they should be sure to be still alive : he speaks all sword , rapier , & poynard , & understands nothing but cudgell and bastinado , which he so richly merits , as besides canes none but would rather want wood to burn , than for so necessary use as beating him , when he is quite strait , for though he be his anger 's slave , fear masters it : and t is just like a nettle , handle it gently and it pricks you , but roughly and you break the point of it , after which , as before he was the fools valiant man , he becomes the valiant mans fool , and by degrees every ones , when once they find him out ; yet retains he somewhat of his former nature still , a dull grumbling and wrangling , ( that is , half quarrelling ) which makes him when he is offended in any company , go muttering away , saying , he cares no more for them than they care for him : which if so , he is the happiest man alive , for i know none lives freer from care than he . character . of a complementer . your complementer is a french familly , that came not in with the conquest , but the corruption of england , unknown unto our honest ancestors , who did as they said , and spoke as they meant ; he is the rack of conversation , and sets every ones joints a stretching : and in france he derives his pedegree from an accomply menteur or an accomplisht lyer : for complement is worse than equivocation , since that has alwayes some mentall reservation or lurking hole for truth , but this has none . t is the language of hyperboly , and sometimes of irony ; t is the language of the court , where meaning walks for pomp and shew , with a long train of words ; and that the courtier uses , to bob of suiters , or bob for those they are suiters too : in a word , t is the language of the idle for to delight the vain , and but a speaking ceremony , as ceremony is but a dumb complement ; whence our new reformers hate it so much perhaps , as they have chang'd the stile into as much defect of civility , as tother was in the excesse , they being faln now upon such a vain of clownishness ( or i may say ) not bluntnesse , but churlishnesse , not of plain dealing , but of plain divillishness , as if they hold on as they begin , pray god we do not wish for our complimenting dayes again , as far the better extremity of the two . character . of a young enamourist . he 's one who as soon as he has quited his school-boyes toyes , next toy he gets is a mrs when t' would make you forswear love to see how ridiculously he makes it , and to hear him talk of gods and goddesses , you would take him for some pagan never converted to christianity . there is nothing so cold as to hear him talk of flames , nor so dull as his discoursing of cupids darts , and to hear him sigh like a dry pump , or broken winded bellows ; you would neer wonder at lapland witches affording winds so cheap . of all servants he is the necessariest and easiest to content and feed , for he is his mrs. squire , dispenser , laquey or messenger , but above all her fool , to which he is bound , by the proverb ; t is impossible to love and to be wise : mean time , you may feed him cheaper than a chamelion , for a good look serves him a week at least , and he is prouder of holding his mrs. busque or fan , than a school boy with a scepter in his hand , playing the emperors part i th school ; to keep him to which , his mrs. lets him know that t is with love as t is with war , which once declared you are to expect nothing but hostility ; and knows her self , that t is with lovers as t is with anglers , who feed the fish ere they are caught , but caught once feed on them : whence she bites not greedily at the bait , but craftily tolls him on with hopes , & like rope makers gos backwards still , the better to advance her work , and draw him on , mean while he follows her so long , till either he wax weary and ceases his persuit , or catches her tripping , and then fals down on her , when fastening her in the marriage nooz , he carries her away , and either turns kind cuckold , and keeps open house for all , or jealous coxcomb and shuts his doores against every one . catologue . of a lady of excellent conversatition , . of one that is the foyle of good conversation , . of an excellent companion , . of one that zanys the good companion , . of one that imitates the good companion another way , . of an irresolute person , . of a fantastique lady , . of a green-sickness girle , . of a talkative lady , . of a taciturn person , . of a dutch waggoner , . of a huge over-valuer of himself , . of an ordinary french laquey , . of a suspicious person , . of raillerie , . of one who troubles her self with every thing , . of one who troubles himself with nothing , . of a chamber-maid , . of a noblemans chaplaine , . of an impertinent governant , . of a school of young gentlewomen , . of a novice , . of a fille devote , . of an inimitable widdow , . of a more imitable widdow , . of a fift monarchy man , of an importunate visitant , . of a french dauncing master in england , . of your town talkers , . of a horrible wicked and deboished person , . of a valiant man , . of a all-admirable person , . . of a gallant warriour , . of a miserable old gentlewoman , . of a ladies little dogg , . of your ladies colonel . of a school boy . . of one that shall be namelesse , . of a pretty sweet innocence ▪ . of a scrupulous honour ▪ . of a fleerer . . of a make-bate . . du tour à la mode . of a changable disposition , . of a physitian . of the authors idea or of a character . of a dull fellow . of a bold abusive wit . of a troublesome kindnesse . of a iansenist . of a certain nobleman . of another . of a natural beauty . of a artificial beauty . of a petty politique . of a hombred country gentleman . of a common acquaintance . of a young envoy . of a degenerate lord . . of a high spirited man . of a proud one . . of a low spirited man . of a petty french lutenist . of a flatterer . of a faire and virtuous lady . . of a quarrelsome coxcombe . of a complementer . . of a young enamorist . finis . satyrical essayes characters and others. or accurate and quick descriptions, fitted to the life of their subiects. iohn stephens stephens, john, fl. - . approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; 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(eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : ) satyrical essayes characters and others. or accurate and quick descriptions, fitted to the life of their subiects. iohn stephens stephens, john, fl. - . [ ], , - , [ ] p. printed by nicholas okes, and are to be sold by roger barnes, at his shop in saint dunstanes church-yard, london : . partly in verse. the first leaf is blank. reproduction of the original in the henry e. huntington library and art gallery. created by converting tcp files to tei p using tcp tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between and available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the , texts created during phase of the project have been released into the public domain as of january . anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. % (or pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf- unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p , characters represented either as utf- unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng characters and characteristics -- early works to . - tcp assigned for keying and markup - spi global keyed and coded from proquest page images - olivia bottum sampled and proofread - olivia bottum text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion satyrical essayes characters and others . or accurate and quick descriptions , fitted to the life of their subiects . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 theophras . aspice & he●●s● sorte aliquid decoctius audis . mile vapora●● ector mihi serueat aure : luuen . plagosas minime plagtarius . iohn stephens . london , printed by nicholas okes , and are to be sold by roger barnes , at his shop in saint dunstanes church-yard . . to the worthy and worshipfull , my honored friend , mr. thomas tvrner esquire , &c. sir , yovr approbation of some parcels , hath entitled you to all : and your alone worthinesse hath deserued all . if i entreate your kindest iudgement , that is your impartiall , to suruey this ; i shall but rather furnish out a briefe epistle , then instruct your knowledge : which is already ( i dare say ) resolued , that the impartiall censure is the best , if soundest : of which you are prouided well to censure this . and if i tell you that instructions likewise may be heere admitted ; though such as may confirme and not prouoke your detestation of basenesse ; imagine that i meane no otherwise : nay , if i tell you further , that some things heere included may modestly endure the name of knowledge ; you shall but take the promise of my owne iudgement to encourage yours in the pervsall , by way of hazarding my whole credite : and so absolue me from the thought of arrogance . i wrong your patience and worth , by preparation of your way to reade and iudge . you are sufficient for me : and able to conceiue , that all becomes your owne , as i would be , being your truely affectionate i.s. to the people . my epistles haue no fortune to purifie mens apprehension , much lesse to new create , or to increase their iudgements : be therefore suddenly perswaded to reclaime thy censure hauing viewed this , or be perpetually haunted with thy double mischiefe , impudence and dulnesse . take this along , and i haue done speedily . things bee heere censured so tractable , as if they and thou disclaime acquaintance , thou must immediately be taken for one affected to tyrannicall or clownish ignorance : be then thy owne reader ; thou needst not my comment : nor do i request thy fauourable constraction . yet , if thou canst beleeue that perfect sense and meanings be not onely tied to publick fauourites , thou needst not bee ashamed to iustifie both mee and mine : if ( otherwise ) thou canst not relish ; blame thy selfe onely , at thy owne perill . the contents . three essayes of cowardlinesse . essay . of high-birth . essay . of disinheritance . essay . of poetry . essay . of discontents . two bookes of characters . the first booke . charact. . an impudent censurer . charact. . a compleat man. charact. . a good husband , charact. . a contented man. charact. . a good emperour . charact. . a worthy poet. charact. . an honest lawyer . charact. . a detractor . charact. . an humorist . charact. . a coxcombe . charact. . a ranke obseruer . charact. . a parish-polititian . charact. . a spend-thrift . charact. . a vbiquitarie . charact. . a gamester . charact. . a novice . charact. . an epicure . charact. . a churle . charact. . an athiest . charact. . a lyar. charact. . a drunkard . charact. . a begging scholler . the second booke . charact. . a iaylor . charact. . an informer . charact. . a base mercenary poet. charact. . a common player . charact. . a warrener . charact. . a huntsman . charact. . a fawlconer . charact. . a farmer . charact. . an hostesse . charact. . a tapster . charact. . a lawyers clarke . charact. . a meere atturney . charact. . a craftie scriuener . charact. . a welsh client . charact. . a countrey bride-groome . charact. . a countrey bride . charact. . my mistresse . charact. . a gossip . charact. . an old woman . charact. . a witch . charact. . a pandar . a caution . be once advisd , and thou shalt never take a mercenarie , though a famous man , to proue the labours , which thy muses make ; each line although he doth directly scan . directly ? no ; he cannot so survay , except with resolution to persist : but , if a while you do forbeare to pay , his resolutions he doth all vntwist : and ( like a crafty lawyer ) though he frame a formall iudgement to recover cost , yet brings a writ of error in the same : so ( by himselfe ) his iudgements worth is lost . doth he not then his credit much deface ? no : that you would beleeue , he doth beseech ( if so his iudgement takes no common place ) his meaning held no concord with his speech . doth he recover credit then , or saue opinion kept perhaps aboue desert ? impossible : for like a cheating knaue , protested faith to shame he doth convert . friends oft be sparing : poets of the towne , value their iudgement , high aboue the rate : both may devise to bring the censure downe , yet both can never change a volumes fate . then rather let this worke commended be by those ( vnknowne ) who know capacitie : so shall each sentence that they do rehearse , prefixe a iust and laudatory verse . a friends inuitation : no flatterers encomion . when many are inuited to a feast , thogh the inuiter doth not know his guest and therefore cannot well provide in hast , one dish so curious , as may please each tast : yet if this host hath such a carefull minde , as that he will , for each mans stomacke , finde a seu●rall meat ; and so provide with care , good hous-roome , hearty welcom , & good fare : shall we condemne his liberall act and loue , if thanklesse invitants the same disproue ? some ( peraduenture ) doth one dish there see , which with his nature doth not well agree : some other may perchance dislike the feast , because it is not all what he likes best . and so with diuers censures they do take due praise frō him who did the bāquet make : which may discourage him that doth intend such careful cost another time to spend . yet ( worthy author ) let not this dismay thee , to goe forward in that vertuous way thou hast propounded ; nor let that be lost which is so rare . thou art a noble host , and 'cause thou knowest not the minds of those that shall receiue thy feast , thou dost dispose of things so fitly , that all here may finde diuers provisions for each readers minde . what if perchance some surfet at thy feast , because they cannot easily disgest some vicious quality , which reignes so rife in vicious minds ( made known by their lewd so rife ; as you the dāger haue exprest , ( life ) that knowing it , they might the vice detest ? pitty their weaknes then , seeing thou dost tel nothing to poyson humor , but expell . what if some others will thy feast abuse , because it is of seu'rall kindes ? refuse the founders dignitie , because ti● knowne mens tastes and palates onely be their owne ? thou mad'st it not for onely one mans sake , but all the worlds , if all of it partake . take resolution therefore to thy mind ; adde wings vnto thy fainting courage ; bind all thy due strength together ; to provide so rare a banquet ; which may long abide to all mens profit , and the founders praise . he therefore doth invite the guests that sayes this is a noble feast ; and wisheth this , that he , which of this feast doth iudge amisse may ( if he wants what is in this combin'd ) seeke to atchieue the same , but never finde , antho . croftes . satyricall essayes , characters and others . three satyricall essayes of cowardlinesse . essay . i. feare to resist good vertues common foe , and seare to loose some lucre , which doth grow by a continued practise ; makes our fate banish ( with single combates ) all the hate , which broad abuses challenge of our spleene . for who in vertues troope was euer seene , that did couragiously with mischiefes fight without the publicke name of hipocrite ? vaine-glorious , malapert , precise , deuout , be tearmes which threaten those that go about to stand in opposition of our times with true defiance , or satyrickeri●es . cowards they be , branded among the worst , who ( through contempt of atheisme ) neuer durst crowd neere a great-mans elbow , to suggest smooth tales with glosse , or enuy well addrest . these be the noted cowards of our age ; who be not able to instruct the stage with matter of new shamelesse impudence : who cannot almost laugh at innocence ; and purchase high preferment by the waies , which had bene horrible in nero's dayes . they are the shamefull cowards , who contemne vices of state , or cannot ●l●tter them ; who can refuse aduantage ; or deny villanous courses , if they can esp●e some little purchase to inrich their ch●st , though they become vncomfortably blest . wee still account those cowards , who forbeare ( being possess'd with a religious feare ) to slip occasion , when they might erect hornes on a trades-mans noddle , or neglect the violation of a virgins bed with promise to require her maiden-head . basely low-minded we esteeme that man , who cannot swagger well , or ( if he can ) who doth not with implacable desire , follow reuenge with a consuming fire . extortious rascals , when they are alone , bethinke how closely they haue pick'd each bone ; nay with a frolicke humour they will brag , how blancke they left their empty clients bag . which dealings if they did not giue delight ; or not refresh their meetings ; in despight they would accounted be both weake , vnwise , and like a timorous coward too precise . your handsome-bodied youth ( whose comely face may challenge all the store of natures grace ) if , when a lustfull lady doth inuite , by some lasciuious tricke● his deere delight , if then he doth abhorre such wanton ioy ; whose is not almost ready to destroy , ciuility with curses , when he heares the tale recited ? blaming much his yeares , or modest weaknesse , and with cheeks ful-blown each man will wish the case had beene his own . graue holy men , whose habite will imply nothing but honest zeale , or sanctity , nay so vprighteous will their actions seeme , as you their thoughts religion will esteeme . yet these all-sacred men , who daily giue such vowes , wold think themselues vnfit to liue , if they were artlesse in the flattering vice , euen as it were a daily sacrifice : children deceiue their parents with expence : charity layes aside her conscience , and lookes vpon the fraile commodity of monstrous bargaines with a couetous eye : and now the name of generosity , of noble cariage , or braue dignity ; keepe such a common ●kirmish in our bloud ; as we direct the measure of things good , by that , which reputation of estate , glory of rumor , or the present rate of sauing pollicy doth best admit . we do employ materials of wit , knowledge , occasion , labour , dignity , among our spirits of audacity , nor in our gainefull proiects do we care for what is pious , but for what we dare : good humble men , who haue sincerely layd saluation for their hope , we call afraid . but if you will vouchsafe a patient eare , you shall perceiue , men impious haue most feare . essay . ii. many aspiring fellowes you may see , who , after they and fortune doe agree , come ( by briefe windings ) to be men elect ; through priuate means , heauen knows how indirect . to flourish quickly and aduance their head , as if they tooke possessions from the dead : when all the heralds neuer could deuise , from whence the fathers kindred might arise . though many cal them nephew , brothers son ( because a thriftie garment they haue spun ) who ( else ) with publick shame had bin disgrac'd , and all the titles of their loue defac'd : but now they flourish , and with worship swell , whose poore beginnings euery groome can tell . as if a new-found whittingtons rare cat came to extoll their birth-rights aboue that which nature once intended : these be men who thinke not of a hundred yeelding ten : they turne base copper into perfect gold : counterfeit couzning wa●es bewis●ly sold. men be perswaded well of prosperous fate , giuing much credite to a crasty pa●e , but if these cowards durst discouer all , both how they did their high estates install , how they began to make a league with hell , or how they did in damned plots excell , their very liues alone , if they were dead , would make an other work for hollingshead . alas they dare not ; these be cowards right , for whose abortiue d●eas the blackest night is neuer black enough , nor can conceale their shame , which lewd posterities reueale . fine hansome outsides who so highly stand on the reputed courage of their hand : who keepe their pages with such spacious gard ( scorning to play without a coated-card ) who keepe a large retinue , or erect buildings ; in which they neuer can expect to dwell , with credit of their famish'd slocke ; or to maintaine the vse of one good lock . these notwithstanding to augment their glosse , and turne some braue expences into drosse , will be the seruile debtors to a slaue , ( who hath no remedie , but to depraue their fortunes with inuectiue impudence , or make petitions to defray expence ) and yet these mighty vpstarts cannot dare , to pay a single crosse : except they spare their pompe ; which giues a lustre in the court , and in the citty makes aboundant sport . spend-thrifts , & gallants likewise ( who haue lands which beare all saffron for their yellow bands ) those which haue onely complement , and whoope in tauernes ; may attend the former troope . those that dare challenge any man of armes , and seeme to bear● about them valtant charmes ; belching vnciuill enuy , in the face of him that meekely contradicts their grace ; as if they carryed vengeance in their iawes , or executions of the statute-law●s . those men if stricktly challeng'd , quake with feare , contriuing basely how they may forbeare : and ( leauing then a while their pompous pride ) they best bethinke , how they may closely hide their contumacious heads with priuiledge : for when the flat-cap tradesman doth alle age forfeit of payments ( and because at length his wife , & so the world , doth know his strength ) when he procures a champion to demand the noble answere of his debtors hand : and dares my valiant swaggerer to meet , his lawfull chalenge in the open street ; he , rather then he will prouoke the strife , sues by petition to my plaintifes wise : who , if she doth not very much forget , takes downe the quarrell , and so pa●es the debt . another sort of cowards you may see , ( transcending these in a more base degree ) who to preserue aduancement , or vphold their families , ( without expence of gold ) will , in promiscuous manner , congregate amongst good men , who blockish papisme hate ; nay , they will be attentiue in the church , ( all to auoyd the law , and penall lurch ) they will con-niue at holy arguments , and often beare a sway in parliaments : they will agree to constituted lawes , which almost ruine to their kingdome drawes , ( all notwithstanding ) they directly dare hope to be sau'd , as other papists are ; expecting on some opportunitie , when they may make a traitrous vnitie : for all the truth which can excuse their fate , is , that they finely can equiuocate : a cowards doctrine , full of shamelesse feare , infuses ioy to their misguided eare , and yet no equall iustice them controules , because they haue a curtaine to their soules ; corrupted officers , the common curse of publicke law , who stuffe their gaping purse with wrongfull fees , and grow extreamely fat by their delitious trickes , or lying squat vp to the cares in pleasant alchymie , if these men durst bewray their infamie , and bring their holiest actions into light , the day would runne to a prodigious night . n●w fees created are , and then the match m●st something take to frame a briefe dispatch : i●formers be preuented by a feate , which q●alifies indeed their boysterous heate , although vniustly : clearkes and other knaues ( who w th their generous ruffs the court outbraues ) will take a pention , or a quarter fee , to make their friend from information free ; and ( to preuent the mischiefe ) will declare how other billes already do not spare to certifie the court a day before of that , for which the plaintiffe doth implore : so false and fained reuolutions cracke the craftie meanings that pre-caution lacke : yet still they gape , and say they cannot saue the many pounds which th●y so freely gaue to purchase ten times more for they intend onely on priuate meanings to depend . before i speake , let no good law●e● bl●me my loue to him , though i bad vices name . another sort of law-professors come within this catalogue to craue a roome : they who depend vpon a iudges looke more then the poynts of littleton , or brooke , they who procure a great mans happy smile , by coaches , colts , and other courses vile : who keepe one speciall court , and blind-sold wise tread ( mill-horse like ) the circuit of assise : they who be fitter to maintaine the sport , of christmasse reuels at an inne of court : fitter to feed delitious ladies eares , or flattringly remoue their patrons feares : fitter to follow the forgotten trades , or make a reading of the knaue of spades : to make a libell , or neate ruffes allow ; and sometimes very fit to driue the plow . fitter then to exceed the true degrees of merites , and conuert meere voice to fees . these men ( it makes me laugh ) they still contend to choose a long-liu'd patron for their friend ; but if his destin'd length becomes too short to make the time of long vacations sport , then all my fauourites be vanish't farre , and almost tremble to approach the barre . then they perceiue , life ( vpon which they gnaw ) is more vncertaine then their common law : they trauaile home againe by weeping crosse , and bring the law much credit with their losse . but if they dare , vntouch'd , remaine still free , another patron dares corrupted be : else like egregious cowards , they withdraw , hiding themselues , and the abuse of law. i see a lawyer , who hath spent his time at innes of court in some excessiue crime ; but being once aduanc'd to view the barre , he brings all bird-lime , and polluting tarre , with which he so defiles the laws pure sence , that each man will account it impudence . if a good simple client entertaines this mercenary varlet , and explaines , how he hath purchas'd a conuenient field , lordship , or mannor , which may easly yeeld a large reuenue , that affoords full cost , whereby he saues himselfe , and nothing's lost : the greedy lawyer doth begin to pray he will repriue his answere till a day ; intending he perceiues poynts difficult , through which the crafty seller may insult . meanetime he visites some old broking knaue , and ( with a sight of angels ) ties the slaue , through nice propounded articles to swimme , and get his clients bargaine euen for him . then will he basely flatter , and pretend the seller was my worshipfull deere friend , who recollecting how commodious the bargaine was for me ( so couetous ) did kindly offer me the peny-worth in which ( before ) i wanted putting forth . vngratious were it to impute disease to any men of knowledge , or to these , with a pernicious meaning to contemne the most respectfull honest law , or them : when therefore i the name of lawyer vse , or ( any way ) the title do accuse , imagine , i , as doe the vulgar clownes , call those men lawyers , who haue lawyers gownes : reseruing to my selfe a purer sence , which saith a lawyer is all innocence ; a lawyer truly taken ; which implies one who doth art and reason exercise , both which , and equitie do him sustaine ; who truly doth the name of lawyer gaine . that waking sighted run-away , the hare , ( which is pres●ru'd by a continuall feare ) cannot ( by this ) protect her innocence , so much as officers their lewd pretence : the fox an ancient hierogliphicke was , in fri●rs robes to shew the common passe of smooth hypocrisie , and church-mens craft ; but now a formall gowne may serue to waft this badge among our prowling officers , which name and habite rightuously inferres as much compacted villanie , as meetes among the stewards of rich countrey leetes : both couzen with as great conformitie , as if they held some new fraternitie : both be so practis'd in good vertues scorne , as if atturnies had directly sworne to match the officer , and powle the flecee , as if they both consisted of one peece . they both insinuate their sweating paines , their common paiment : each ( alike ) constraines the hunger-bitten client to disburse , till they haue left his hopes euen with his purse . yet will you dare to say those men exact ? no ; that were brainlesse : they so well compact their polliticke inuentions , that the fault of asking more then due , creepes to the vault of clerkes dull ignorance to purchase leaue , when their discouered proiect● d● deceiue a substitute in courts may rather take all wrested fees , that glosse may thereby make the steward seeme lesse culpable in vice , when substitutes are taught by his aduice : and if some one their cousenage doth betray , the substitute can easily slinke away . my baudy proctor likewise , who presumes to purge mens purses ▪ for vene●eall rhumes ; who th●●atens pena●ce in agh●stly sh●ete , if clie●ts ( though they s●rip from head to feete ) be sla●k● in paiment of extortious coine : this man who studies first how to purloine , before he lookes vpon the ciuill law ; this man , who hath a prompt and ready paw , who loues no innes of court , shutting his crackes and all his rage , vnder a nose of wax ; who , when a fornicato● lookes awry , that he the least aduantage may espy , he will ●ff●●iously attend the court , because he ●●●els out the ensuing sport , and when a grieuous fi●e afflicts the purse of ●●●shly sinners , to esc●pe the curse , he and the thriftie iudge can closely share the foul● taxation , which with pious c●re is well intended to correct the sinne , establish bridges which decay within , reli●ue sicke persons , or amend high-wayes , or some religious chappell , which decayes . but they haue other vses to respect , to buy their ciu●ll garments , or affect the wanton lust of some egregious whoore , to winne new credit , to deceiue the poore ; and so deceiue the vnsuspectfull time , for ( else ) he durst not so insatiate clime into the fiery region ; neither dares his habite seeme acquainted with these cares . now must i summon parish-hypocrites , who seeme attentiue to coelestiall rites , who thinke the art of him that well doth liue , is all perform'd , if he example giue , which may become the parish : if he pray aloud in chambers , or deuoutly pay the tribute of true dealing vnto all who ( can to their ass●stance ) iustice call . if in assemblies he can shew good workes , and call offendors , infidels or turkes : he thinkes he hath discharg'd the finall part of a religious or honest heart : though he doth closely keepe a vertuous punke , or though ( on cautious t●arms ) he● can be drunk : though in another county , and the name of other agents he can schedules fram● ; and thinkes himselfe to be a man well blest , though he receiues the sinfull interest : for this eye-seruing-age is quickly gone to all deceit if we lacke lookers on . these be most valiant cowards , men that dare be boldly impious , and y●t basely feare , least common rumour should obserue or thinke they be not still awake , though still they winke . some false physitians lye within the reach of these , who true sinceritie impeach , their glasses , glisters , oyles , ingredients ( which hope of lucre oftentimes inuents ) do carry all ( as if a cowards soule kept in their bosomes ) to the dead mans rowle ; hiding their fearefull practice in the graues : leane death , their operation still out-braues . sometimes their crabbed enuy doth inuent , sometimes they kil with new experiment : for still they er●e by custome , or by chance , ei●her by malice , or by ignorance : and ( hauing spent prescriptions to each dram ) he thinkes alas sure i protected am , if now i see our physicke does no good , or seeing i haue suckt his purse and blood , if i can tell his friends there is no hope , or that he must expect deaths fatall scope : then shall i be discharg'd with credits fee , and to condemne more liues , remaine still free . they shift their compasse to auoyd our scorne , hiding their actions from the faire-fac'd morne . now my censorious criticks who disgrace each worke they know not , with a scuruy face , who banish authors to barbarian lands , and sling true solid matter from their hands , with a disdainfull motto of nonsence : although themselues ( excepting impudence ) haue nothing to excuse their vanitie : latinle●se lawlesse rogues , they often be , who hauing past their verdict , will recant : for their maintaining facultie is scant . or if these apish cowards dare defend , the vice of iudgment , brings them to their end . and yet some writers doe deserue the name of cowards likewise : they be growne so tame with being often handled , often praisd , as they forget their motion , being raisd aboue the highest spheares : they thinke it much , more then indeed enough , to haue beene such as they were once accounted : though they sleepe , follow their ease , and sluggish silence keepe : nay thogh they wake , & ( which doth po●son thē ) f●llow the errors which they did condemne . some worthlesse poets also , haue the vice to write their labours as they cast at di●e : if ( by aduenture ) some strange happy chance , smiles on their borrowed workes of ignorance , they can bewray their the●uish names , and giue notice to all , how they eterni●'d liue . but if ( presuming on their sickly strength ) they write , and do betray their selues at length : then , oh they came into the publicke presse against their wils ; they dare not then con●esse who wrongs the world with such base poetry : nay , their owne eldest sonnes they will deny . all hide their vices . printers also hide errors escap'd , w●ich makes wise men deride excellent wits , deseruing worthy praise , whē ( through distinctions lest ) the truth decaies : but among all base writers of the time , i cannot reckon vp more desperate rime , ( which trauailes with a feare so damnable ) as libell-lashing measures : they excell onely in this ; that these be counted best , which the soole-author dares acknowledge least . these are contemptible enough , and yet their lines maske vnder a fictitious wit , when wit ( as hitherto ) was neuer seene truly ingendred by a tr●uiall spleene . nor can they thus reforme what is impure , seing men so touch'd , conceiue thēselues past cure . wel do these cowards thriue , when hauing blown shame to the peoples eares , they loose their own . briefly , it were a thing preposterous , if rich men , who are nicely co●etous , shold not be trembling cowards ; when they think vpon the ioyfull paines of death , they stinke . nothing prouokes me sooner to confesse that atheisme is their chiefest happinesse , then to consider how the very best struggle with death , declining to their rest : one pluckes away the haires which should reueale his righteous thoughts : another doth conceale the furrowed wrinkles of his tawny skinne : another scoures his stumpes , or doth beginne to breake the glasse with foolish extasie , at the reflexe of chap-f●lne grauitie . can these , with safetie of a quiet minde puffe vp themselues with an ambitious winde of riches , rumor , lucre , and expence , whiles kings and good men haue no difference ? they haue abundance , i haue some alone , they feed a hundred bellies , i feed one . both vanish to obliuions caue , vnlesse our very thoughts a liuing soule expresse : which being once admitted , no soules can keepe their worst secrets from the face of man. essay . iii. no more : no more : now saith my honest friend , be politicke ; or study to commend the time , and timelings , least you doe bestow more copious tearmes then licence dare allow . content thy selfe ( cordatus ) i will blame no reuerend church-man , neither will i name one lewd professor , who pollutes the grace of such a formall and respected place : i will not name their liuings , nor their liues , much ●esse their bondage to their hansom wiues : as if they durst not shew the times disease , because indeed they dare not them displease . i will not wrong their holinesse : and why ? in holinesse true zeale you may descry . nor will i taxe church-vices , least i wrong the labour which to writing doth belong . for when i haue againe repeated all their vices publicke , and sinnes personall : i shall but reckon the antiquities , of glosse , of ignorance , and simonies : and so repeate things mention'd long before , nay things prefixt vpon each play-house doore . let them ( alasse ) continue , or increase , o let them long enioy a qui●t peace ; for they already know the mischiefes well , they almost scorne such inwards to expell . and why ? they feare taxation : ò strange fate ! they who contemne reproofes , are desperate . we cannot hope such persons will amend , who may ( without controule ) their vice extend . enough , enough , i haue bethought so much concerning cowards , that my selfe am such : i dare not speake my meaning vnder paine of being crost , of being curb'd againe . why crost ? why curb'd ? go aske authoritie why it protects peculiar vanitie ? and it perhaps will answere in de●ence ; c●owes to themselues beperfect innocence . or ( which is more familiar ) enuy loues that humor best , which bitterly reproues all states , all faculties besides her owne : she fauours that , and feares it should be knowne , though it be noted ; or with publicke shame , hath purchasd ( 〈◊〉 you write ) an odious name . men thinke their fashions and their faces best if ( in a flattred humor ) they be blest , to heare men discommend both such and such , not naming theirs ; although they be so much apparant filthy , as no vulgar eye would make a question of deformity : and so superior vices doe propound a freedome to their scope , as being sound in selfe-conceite , if they can saue their skinne from being printed with a publicke s●nne ; though ( setting bookes aside ) they do ●rofesse , enough to poyson all their names no l●sse . see how i breath into the spacious aire , a theame as spacious : can my v●rse repaire the fruitlesse errors of men obstinate ; who cannot freely their owne vices hate ? who rather gainefull vices do cond●mne , because they cannot purchase gaines by them ? for in their owne offences they reserue such cautions as may closely them preserue . well , sir , admit men labour to be wise , and for themselues do secrets exercise , who shall dare contradict such worthy paines which fosters credit , and ill termes restraines ? avant base hipocrite , go henceforth set vpon thy pillow , thy close cabinet , and sleepe with all the papers in thy hand , which thy most secret counsels may command ; or i with spaniards better shall agree ; or i shall trust a lapwing more then thee . good men dare iustifye , euen touching all the essence of their thoughts originall : touching themselues , their meanings they may saue , least they their good successe of meanes depraue . but well , suppose men so directly halt as they do feare to patronize the fault , shall they not seeke vnpunish'd to remaine , if actions pass'd cannot be cal'd againe ? we daily do transgresse ; and some perhaps deserue the plagues of lashing after-claps : but then , alas ! what satisfaction can , written reproofes be for a vicious man ? you make professions vndergoe contempt , and make the least offence so farre exempt from ciuill vertue , and some new conceits , that you enforce good fellowship to straights . so : haue you done ( deere motley ? ) yes almost ; but stay a little , and behold vncrost , the reason , why we do so closely deale , and why we couer vice : i can r●ueale , to frustrate your inuentions which produce nothing halfe-worthy of a well-borne muse , but triuiall vanities , and deepe expence , to tell mans weakenesse by experience : you might with more applause bestow more pains to grace the mayors triumphs , and the chaines which do attend his lordship to the hall : you might expound things termed mysticall : or might in better phrase compose a song , to shew his highnes staid at cambridge long ; and not in tearmes , as hasty as the truth , discouer haire-braine fallacies of youth : you might , you might , seuerus , and detest to scourge close dealers who be safely blest : for i can well resolue you are the cause , why men reserue ( in acts ) a priuate clause : you , and your nice obseruance do restraine men , and their actions both , from being plaine : and yet you call those cowards , who beware as if they were possess'd with childish feare . suruay thy selfe , quicke-sighted formalist , and then discouer that abusiue mist , with which men shelter any priuate sinne : charity alwaies doth at home beginne . now haue you ended ? then , i answere all by scorning to excuse or hide my fall as thou dost vrge : if i transgresse my square , i of relapse , not of reproofe beware : and i beleeue thou likewise wilt amend , if so thou do'st not labour to offend : for that ind●ed betrayes mens dealing naught , when they do study rather to be taught , in subtle mischiefe of a newer mint , then to abiure deceits of ancient print : for they hate couznage , once intitled old , because the title shewes it often told , and so affoords no lucre ; not because it fauours atheisme and corruption drawes . why do i taxe , why do i trouble men , or why with noted crimes defile my pen ? the most notorious cowards will betray themselues , and follies , though i turne away . yes ( which is worth my laughter ) they accuse their closest feares , euen while they do refuse to let you vnderstand their subtile drifts , they do discouer such auoiding shifts , that you may thence collect some fearefull trick , they study to appeare so pollitick . as , fellons brought before a iustice , each hopes to bee sau'd , if others he impeach : and as some indians dealt , being al-amaz'd to heare the spanish guns and forces blaz'd ; they bought their safety through a fine deceit : for knowing gold to be the spanish baite , they would protest , that fifty leagues beyond was common plenty of that yellow sand ; meaning to turne the fooles another way . and so deale vicious persons : they betray anothers folly , to preserue their owne : obserue , and you shall gather things wel known . go tell a church man he hath lost his voyce , or aske him why he doth in strife reioyce : and he will answer ; lawyers do not speake so much to purpose , as the pulpits creake , althogh they do receiue fees doubled twice ; which far exceed my single benefice . go tell a lawyer he relyes on chance , because he doth affect dull ignorance : and he the worst obiection soone auerts by telling how the times neglect deserts . go tell a magistrate of morning bribes , and he , to shallow meanes , the same ascribes : but then demand of honour why she failes , in giuing that which euery way auailes to nourish her beloued sonnes ? and shee will answere , they profuse , insatiate be . aske shifting russians why they do forget , to hasten payment and discharge their debt , or why they do sufficient men dislike ? and they will answere , great-ones do the like . go tell a gamester he hath cheated long , or vnto many offred shamefull wrong , and he will answere , that himselfe before was often cheated twenty times and more . go aske a drunkard why he followes wine , abuses god , or giues a heathen signe ; and he will quickly answere thy demand , the parson was so drunk he could not stand . go tell a hot-spurre he hath kil'd a man , go aske him how he doth the terrour scan : and he will answere ; a physitian 's free to murther twenty millions ; why not hee ? go tell a fawning wretch he doth relye vpon the slauish vice of flattery : and he will answere , that the best are glad to follow such indeuours , or as bad . go tell a whore she doth her sexe pollute , by being such a common prostitute : and shee will answere in defence of fame , citizens wiues , and ladies do the same . go tell a trades-man he deceiues the day , refusing light , deluding euery way : and he will answere to auoyd thy curse , go further on , you will be cheated worse . thus cowards all ( not daring to defend the diuers follies which they dare intend ) confesse themselues , and others do elect vices , which none but diuels dare protect . when i pronounce a coward , it implies , malice and spight be cowards qualities : they are inseparate , and why ? because a vicious coward so exactly knowes himselfe vnable , that he doth decree to haue consorts as impotent as h●e ; because he may auoyd the mighty shocke of mens contempt , rank'd with a greater flocke ; whereas perhaps if he were lest alone , his basenesse onely would be look'd vpon . but harke you sir ( saith one ) you haue forgot to brand our female ; with a cowards lot . they be a proper subiect : do not spare them and their couert dealing to declare : they be attired with inuentiue doubts , and haue as many feares as they haue thoughts : they labour daily , yet they do suspect , they cannot halfe a hansome face erect : they paint , they pow●er , they with toies exced , alas ! they dare not shew themselues indeed . night they do honour : then they do obtaine that which perhaps the day cals backe againe : they do intice their husbands to beleeue any thing ( then ) and any thing to giue : they do entreate , when husbands scarce replye but with a purpose nothing to deny : they not without adu●n●age do contend ; nor any cowards oddes do discommend . well , 〈◊〉 : admit they do abound with feare , females for nothing else created were . they need not of t●eir weakenesse be asham'd ; but men should blush to heare the folly namd . you do discouer mens impediments , and tell vs what the crasty age inuents . as if authority forgat his whip : you may be silent , and surcease to nip . let sage authority proceed by course of law , to punish these without remorse . then you must bid authority respect things not accounted euill ; or neglect to punish friend-lesse fee-lesse infamies , and taxe braue mischiefe with seuerer eyes . nay that will neuer be ; for tell the base , and poore offendor ( who feeles no disgrace ) he hath offended ; and he dares reply , he tooke his patterne from authority . so shifting be the simple idiots , so shifting base be higher patriots : and must be euer till they do reueale feare to commit , not study to conceale . of high birth . essay . iiii. things curiously made , differ as much from things begotten , as earth from liuing men , and artificiall bodies from mans issue . children therefore may challenge from their parents more prerogatiue , then workmanship or mans inuention ; for it participates with vs in being onely , but they in being ours : for things begottē be originally our own , but things created be ours at the second hand continually : else man were two waies excellent , and able to create , as well as to beget , without patterne or example , whereas truely in matters of science and manuall labour , man , without the helpe of man , doth nothing . so ignorant hee is , and chiefely bound vnto imitation , as hee neuer did , nor will , produce that , which depends not on some president : onely our issue is our owne absolute ; for man , secluded from the company of men , is by the helpe of nature fit ( of himselfe ) for infinite generation , though nothing else : which argues the full necessity of being sociable , and mightily condemnes those currish people , who thinke it all-sufficient , if they can once assume the pride , to say , they are not any way indebted ; or that they bee their owne supporters : and thinke it the safest friendship to forget humanity , neglect acquaintance , make loue an outward ceremony , nay scarce so much : and neuer bee offended with a curse so much , as when they must haue mans assistance to restore them . these are vnmindefull why man doth multiply , why lawfull marriage was inuented : or why god , thinking it not enough to worke a vnion with hvmanity by the bond of natvre , did also extend affinitie to those of an other stocke ; that incest might be vnacted ; and by the consequent , that man should not engrosse onely the loue of his owne familie . man therefore thus enabled to produce ; it followes by implication that amongst posterity some one must haue precedence ; in which , sonnes ( by consent ) haue that immunity of eldest : and hee , according to vsuall speech , is called the heire apparant : which is a name so largely taken , as ( with it ) wee imply any one able to inherit , though not the eldest . but properly it extends to the first begotten , who ( in being first ) supplies the office of a substitute to discharge that which incumbers the parent ; the office of a valiant warriour likewise , who couets by being first , to take the first charge , giue the first assault , and ( aboue all ) to bee according to his name , truely forward in the high atchieuements of honour : so forward , as for any of his ranke to bee before , should bee thought a miserable basenesse . it is an obserued point of nature ( among the ancients ) that elephants , when they trauaile by troupes , knowing by a peculiar instinct that their aduersaries ( for the most part ) incounter them in the rereward , they marshall themselues that the eldest may bee first ready to sustaine the violence ; which giues a memorable precept to mans issue , that hee ( if eldest ) ought rather to protect , then cauill with his inferiour relatiues ; that they ( because yongest ) ought rather to submit , where his good counsell may assist , then be malignant or maintaine faction . this theater of mans life , admits degrees of height , in which the eldest is aboue the others ; and therefore as the centinell , or scout ( in armies ) is vigilant to foresee aduantage , and so preserue by diligence when courage of the rest is little worth : so should superiours in birth bee as much prouident for the safety of those , in respect of whom they be superior , as to esteeme their birth-right a blessing . it is therefore no safe conclusion , to say hee is the eldest , and so most excellent ; but hee is the eldest , and therefore should bee most excellent : for in production of the soule it fares otherwise with a man , then with vnreasonable creatures ; among which there needes no better warrant to signifie courage , then the first breede , which signifies the strength of nature in the parents or breeders . but with man , ( who communicates with beasts onely in forme ) it is onely sufficient for him to challenge in his issue what himselfe bestowes : as for the diuine materials of reason , if sometimes they doe hereditarily succeede to the sonne of a prudent father , wee may from hence conclude , that god more often dispenses with it , to make man see the true originall , rather then flesh should challenge any part ; or fathers thinke they bee the sole efficients . for it is now made a common argument of the sonnes folly , if the father bee more then commonly wise . and i am very much perswaded , that this ( if nothing else ) may assure the polititian of some supreame disposer , who giues warning to his presumptuous folly through the plague of a foolish heire ; that hee may ouer-value himselfe at his owne perill : seeing he hath often his owne workemanship before his eyes , to argue against him , and his arrogant conceit . bee it sufficient therefore that cunning natur● , which principally and commonly works out each naturall mans existence by causes well known , matter , forme , and priuation , is not able in things essentiall , to distribute any particle without diuine prouidence : so the eldest naturally inherites nothing as by peculiar claime , but senselesse lineaments of body . howsoeuer , most conuenient it is , that euery one by birth ennobled , either by single prioritie , or prioritie vnited to noble parentage , should seeke to accomplish the part of nature vndone in more then complement , ciuill silence , or common passages ; and make the birth absolute . for man , a sluggish creature , ( prompt enough to decline after satietie ) seemes naturally to be vnfurnished , that hee might not be vnoccupied . so nature hath left much imperfect , to intimate by the vacant absence of some things needfull , that mans labour should make things vsefull . nature affoords timber , but workmanship the structure : the earth produces ore , but art the siluer : nature giues plants , knowledge the vse : among all which shee doth require a more ample and lesse supplement , according to the value , raritie or estimation of the thing . for chymicks know , the more pretious mettals aske more paines in extraction of the true quintessence , then baser minerals : gold is the seuenth time purified , and then becomes beautifull : besides the qualitie of things more pretious , ought still to bee equiualent with their pretious subiect . couragious horses bee managed with curiositie : delicate voyces bee selected to learne harmonies , whilst harsh and strong voyc'd cryers bee ridiculous . diamonds , not glasse , become pure mettall , and rich garments haue much costly appearance . high blouds likewise be the fittest receptacles for high actions ; but if a sackecloth bee embroydred , the adiunct may deserue honor , thogh the ground-worke be plebeian : and men of vp-start parentage may , in respect of braine , take place before nobilitie , though their persons bee odious . our selues and parents , or instructors , be the secondary causes which protract or abbreuiate , enrich or impouerish , our owne destinies . for either wee are driven with fatall obstinacie , to ouer-take fortune ; else , by the negligence of education , or being not season'd in minority , our stupid dulnesse giues fortune leaue to ouer-take vs. high birth is so farre from priuiledge to exempt any from these , as it approches neere to miserie , when shame is vnpreuented ; and makes destinie notorious . i know no difference therefore betwixt the degrees of fortune , if birth alone makes the comparison . for which is more predominant , if one of obscure fortune becomes publicke by merits , remaining still the same if he transgresse ; or if one descended nobly , doth but deserue himselfe , and family , through great engagements , being ready to descend below himselfe if he miscarry , and be as publicke in disgrace , as vpstarts in applause ? for this age of innouation is fitter to behold one swimming to a remote shore , then to reuolue how happily the inhabitants be there delighted : fitter to see new actions , & actiue spirits proceeding , then the maintenance of honour proceeded : and fitter to behold one falling from a rocke , then from a stumbling mole-hill . so that if noble-men aduanced , continue so ; and ambitious gentry , nay or basenesse , do aspire and thriue , i see no difference : if ruine threatens both , the last transcends in outward happinesse . the best similitude which makes diuersitie , reaches but thus farre : i see an embroydred emptie purse , and stoope to view it narrowly , because the out-side glisters : i spurne a powch before me , and heare the sound of siluer ; i take both , keepe both , and will esteeme the coyne aboue the emptie purse , and yet preferre the outsides alone not both alike ; because the one is capable and beauteous already , the other doth containe already , but can neuer be beauteous : no more then vpstarts , though renowned in merits , can euer take nobilitie of birth ; because it will demand succession to confirme antiquitie . so that ennobled fortunes ( being an outward beauty ) shall but make me more willing ( as an embroidred purse ) to see their in-sides , not enlarge their value : when as perhaps one basely obscure , shall more purchase my reverence , though lesse attract my labour to discouer him . as for the chiefe ornaments which qualifie great parentage , they should bee such as make most in the aduancement of a common-wealth . for when lawes receiue their body from the concordance of nobilitie ; it must ( by good coniecture ) follow , that the life or motion of them ( which is an equal prosecution of iustice ) would , through the countenance of nobilitie , receiue more credit and reuerence . for the visible dignitie of persons , doth atract sluggish or obstinate beholders , with vnanimitie or terror . thus ignorant men ( vnacquainted with our state of question ) will often wish within themselues , that a dunce or coward may preuaile before the combate , because they incline more to the estimation of his carriage , fame , or feature , then to the others : which loue doth ( notwithstanding ) sometimes vanish into feare , adoration , or a reuerend conceit . the very name of crumwell was able to disseuer insurrections ; so much was hee credited with an opinion of sincere grauitie . to bee a man likewise generally famous , doth oftentimes dispense with comelinesse of personage , and purchaseth full applauded successe in euery dispatch vnder the pattent of hauing beene generally commended , but if popular fame bee not gracious , the ornaments of body , comlinesse , and behauiour , must bee assistant to high birth , in publicke atchieuements of honour , to make a prosperous beginning . for single birth , without additions , is no generall to command an armie , or to preuaile with multitudes : which ( by the order of reason ) should bee a noble and generous intention , because birth is sooner capable of respect only then base agents . by this caution therefore did the noblest romanes apply themselues to take the patronage of plebeians ; accounting it the most honourable entrance , to exercise their efficacie of birth , by the protection of poore clients , or otherwise illiterate citizens : the frequencie of which custome made nobilitie famous . it is the excellent signe of mans participation with diuinitie , to discerne and iudge of nature . this therefore should bee the singular part of instruction among noble pupils , and all that would become proficients , to certifie , allay , and augment nature : which cannot bee by a restraint , but by giving free libertie to enioy all , that so the worst may bee remoued ; else by a * colourable restraint of that which formerly was permitted . for when wee say , natura recurrit , wee must conceiue , nature hath tasted : for ignoti nulla cupido . and by the consequent , whilst wee dote vpon things absent , our inclination is discouered . from hence therefore did phrina know praxitelus loued the image of his satyre , because when hee heard his house was burnt , hee asked onely if the satyre were safe : so when wee haue once enioyed , and now lacke our custome , desire will bee manifest . it is not therfore wisdome to correct the natures of children , by keeping them in couert from the worlds eye , vnlesse they bee appoynted for a monasterie . for that which wee cannot doe , because we know not , wee dare doe freely when wee are acquainted . but nature beeing discouered , by hauing once enioyed , yeares will then easily admit a contrarietie . and as wormewood , rubbed vpon the nipple of a nurses teate , weanes the childe ; so thy detestation , or continuall inuectiue against that vice which thou wouldst abolish in the childes nature , remooues it sooner then stripe , or furious choller towardes the childe himselfe . for these bee able to make him , not abandon the vice , because hee abhorres thee ; and in despight will keepe it , notwithstanding eye-seruice : whereas folly being hated for its owne sake , ( because it is deformed ) the expounder of this deformitie may bee still beloued . vicious men may , without question , bee entertained by princes , & giue much morality : prouided alwayes , that apprehensiue natures be neere hand , to make applications . for then as the apes heart ( it selfe beeing a most timorous creature ) being well applyed , begetts courage in the patient : so cowards , epicures , and blasphemous persons , may ( by good compositions ) produce valiancie , abstinence , and humilitie in princes : but poysons bee a dangerous physicke , without skilfull professors . the study to discerne nature in noble persons , should bee equivalent to their owne disquisition of nature in others ; for seeing they ought by superintendence to ouer-looke man , they should bee perfect in the character of man , bearing their best librarie about them . they should represent the lyon , who is noted ( aboue all ) to carry a most valiant head , and a maiesticke countenance ; intimating the apparant and invisible potencie of high spirits . besides ( that i may continue this mythologie ) the necke of a lyon hath no ioyntes ; whereby he cannot looke backwards , vnlesse hee turnes his body ; neither can princes , without scandall to their courage , and bountie , turne their head onely vpon the foe that makes pursuite , with a meaning to runne away faster , and not regaine their title , or recall gifts with an intention to vpbrayd , except they turne themselues to encounter , or their iust rage to inflict a deserued ruine . the back of lyons carries a magnanimous bredth : and all the noble deeds of ancestors , historicall examples of monarchs , with infinite renowned precepts of former ages , make but one broad backe president , to strengthen the wisedome of princes . the bones of a lyon haue lesse marrow then others ; for lasciuious suell diminisheth valour . the want of pith therefore makes oke more durable then elda ; and a contempt of wantonnesse prouokes princes to an vnmoueable subsistence . lyons haue an exquisite propertie to smell out their owne aduantage : for it is reported , the male knowes when the lionesse hath beene adulterous with the panther , by a peculiar sense of smelling : and the wisest part of men worthily descended , is to betray their owne abuses ; for men of this ranck are incident to strong delusions . a lyon sleepes and yet his eies are open : so prouident high statesmen , that possesse much , cannot haue eyes too many , or too watchfull : neither may absolute man incurre security . when lyons deuoure , famine doth inforce them ; and when kings take the sword , a zealous appetite , to satisfie forgotten vertue , should prouoke them . neither may generous natures bee nobly offended , except , as by an impulsiue , or sufficient cause , they ouercome . so by a heroyicke scorne to malice , they can both swallow and digest the cause with the conquest . howsoeuer it may bee fictitiously reported , that lyons haue ( by a miraculous motion ) beene defensiue to condemned martyrs ; yet may the obseruation affoord thus much morality : that , as a true noble man may by no meanes receiue a more excellent moderation of spirit , and spur , to greatly-good actions , then by a religious feare ; so cannot this bee any way expressed better ( himselfe being so eminent ) then in perfection of diuine iustice , and good mens causes . it is admirable ( if true ) to see how generously lyons haue scorned to be base debtors : insomuch that it is memorably reported , androcles a vagabond captiue , cured a lyons paw ; in gratification whereof , the lyon afterwards ( when androcles was among the romane spectacles to bee deuoured ) spares , and protects him against a rampant pardall : which carryeth a double precept for generous natures ' : first , a preseruatiue against ingratitude , where followers haue bene seruiceable ; then a contempt to be a slauish debtor ( if meanes can auoide it ) especially to base-minded trades-men ; who vpon single debts inforce a double ingagement : both of credite and restitution : for if you remaine in their bookes for a commodity , you must remaine likewise in their fauour to auoide scandall , reiterations , and commemorations among all societies . such is the common treacherous basenesse of their conditions , though they protest otherwise ; which may exhort any noble minde to beleeue this maxime true ; hee hath discharged halfe his reputation among men , that scornes the credite of a cittizen , or ind●ed any man. an other singular note is fixed vpon this magnanimous beast aboue written ; his wrath extends no further then the prouocation . and therefore when the arabian souldier , charging a lyon with his speare , was disappointed of the obiect , and ouer-threw himselfe with violence ; the lyon returned , & onely nipping his head a little ( for his presumption ) departed quietly . this being confirmed with many famous examples , i may infer thus much . if it may seeme conuenient or honorable for nobility offended , to punish , not respecting penitent submission ( which may without high offences seeme tyrannicall ) yet if the punishment exceed the crime , wee may confidently accompt it bestial , & worse . again it is notably remembred , that lyons neuer run away , except they can priuately withdraw , ( being ouercome with multitude ) into a secure mountaine , or wildernesse . and i obserue that it ill becomes a braue resolution , to enter himselfe among proiects , from which he must necessarily recoile , except hee carries a cautelous eie , and true circumspection . lastly , i may conclude this moralized comparison , with aesops controuersie betwixt a lyonesse and the fox : the foxe commends her owne fruitfull generation , seeming to disgrace the lyons single birth , to which this answer doth reioyne : i bring forth one , & yet that one is a lyon : which good allusiō may remoue the curse which some would cast vpon nobility , because often their children in number be inferiour to common prostitutes : but i am peremptorily resolued , that the multiplicity of children reares vp an obscure family , and brings an ancient stocke to ruine : for among many base childrens blessings , birth may make variety of fortunes : but among much noble posterity , fortune doth challenge a more vaste partition ; and makes a discontented heire fit for all innouating enterprises ; so that one noble remainder of much antiquity , or one true lyon of a family ( if art and nature can be made operatiue ) will be a more safe prop to succession , then the doubtfull variety of children . i obserue it as an infa●lible rule , that there haue beene as many base originals , as their haue beene honorable descents in nobility . for , as questionlesse the largest riuers bee deriued from lowly springs ; so birth and succession haue beene so basely intermingled , so casually interrupted , so frequently impaired , and very often attainted ( though with absolution ) that i may well iustifie the first principle , and adde further , that generally , to maintaine the noble estate of dead ancestors , requires as much true policy , as to erect a new family : and to exceed the patterne of heroicke ancestry , deserues perpetuall commendations . which purpose cannot prosper well , except we preuent or auoid oppositions , rather then purchase new addition . for men may clime better by troublesome , rough , and dangerous passages , then stand tottering vpon the eminent spire : and therfore hath contentious dealing beene the ouer-throw of kingdomes , and flourishing captaines ; because prosperity is waspish , & brookes no competition , nor almost assistance . the historian therfore saith well : none more deafe to counsell then natures vnthwarted ; none more obtemperate to bee counselled , then men destitute . as for the ambitious extasie of noble spirits , which makes them indirectly consult vpon new addition ; the fable doth condemne them perspicuously : for like aesops dogge , they snatch at shadowes , and loose the certainty , who dote vpon such couetous desires . presumption also , and popularitie , be two treacherous confederates : the first was neuer good when a kings fauour is the obiect ; so long as mines and countermines haue beene the court-deuises . the last will neuer be good ; so long as people do but conduct their fauorites to the scaffold , and cry alas , it is pitty ; but who can helpe it ? the first cannot thriue , because offences with kings outweigh merits : as also the iealous còceit of safety , is a multitude of feares , and they threaten the most highly fauoured : the last is mortall , because hee surfets of one dish ; nothing but fame : serued in ( like turkish rice ) by infinite waiters . and shall wee wonder if it choakes him , when he deuoures all ? the best loue therefore that can be bestowed vpon the people , or the best friendship that you can receiue from them , is to suffer them in things indifferent , or not to shew a currish seuerity : for ( like the hungarian heyduckes ) their wrath is prone to mischiefe , and their amity is worth nothing : so that indeed to flatter with them , and not regard them , is a sound proposition : for if coriolanus contemnes their authority , they can abhorre his name , and banish his person : or at least banish him from preuailing in publicke assistance . the safest course ( that i can be acquainted with ) to confirme and perfectly retaine noble dignities with good approuall ; is to be immutable honest , and no reported polititian : for the very name containes ( among generall opinions ) much powder-treason , atheisme , curses of inferiours , and condemnations of all , except their close minions . an other thing that doth briefely replenish a noble spirit , must be more example , dispatch , or quick perfect motion , then precepts or doctrines : these being the dull laborious obiect , of melancholy artists ; the other being a rhetoricall inducement to establish the delight of action : in which nothing drawes greater efficacie , then speedinesse and fortunate euent ; though both these relie much vpon a contriuing faculty , which is begotten by a frequent practise . and therefore it betokens a sluggish feare , and priuate weakenesse , when wee loath to enterprise : for couragious mindes acquire hability ( through custome ) equall to desire : but when the appetite failes i perceiue no stomack of nobility . it may seeme somewhat controuersiall , whether state-knowledge , or militant resolutions be more gracefull to generosity : and , questionlesse , i conceiue few romane senators , or not any ( except cicero ) was vnsufficient to lead an army , as well as to deliuer his opinion in the councell-chamber : both be so vnseparably annexed , as wee may hardly thinke he aduises the common-wealth louingly , who is afraid to iustifie the common-wealths quarrell ; when himselfe adiudges it lawfull . as for the outward pompe or magnific●nce of mighty persons , it may become a festiuall day better then common pollicy : for this age doth not so soone adiudge the royall minde , as the fantasticke humour , by expence of needlesse brauery ; accompting that rather magnificence , when we expend our own about the kingdomes glory : which by reflexe produces an apparant loue , and feare toward such actiue spirits . for all men reuerence him truely , who is impartiall , and industrious to aduance equity , or to confirme goodnesse with goodnesse among a l. and howsoeuer the full stomackes of men will hardly suffer them to commend such worthy ones aliue ; yet haue their deaths beene alwaies deplorable . whereas polliticke braines with false bottomes , haue found a publique curse , which was before restrained with authority . i dare not become an instructor , it appertaines to deepe professours : neither can i reproue , it may incurre the name of malapert : i labour onely , to proue by demonstratiue reasons , which is bare counsell . as for nobility , if it beare the name of legitimate , it will beare a contempt also ( with agesilaus ) to be reproued , when paines may happily discharge their function . neither at any time shall high births aspire to hazardous downefals , if they esteeme honor as the reward of vertue , no vertue in it selfe . of disinheritance . essay . v. it is more impossible for an vnnaturall father to bee a true friend , then for an abused sonne , to be an obedient sonne : because i thinke it is an irrepugnable precept . that he who from a diuelish disposition findes a soone-moued contrariety betwixt himselfe and his vndoubted children , must ( of necessity ) bee a man who refuses all men , except aduantage pleades for them ; seeing he neglects those , for whom nature pleades , if aduantage bee absent . the same may be inferred concerning all degenerate kinsfolke , though in a lesse degree . but for the first i haue obserued it generally ; that he who was apt for disinheritance , hath bene a man alwaies of as many affections , as there be faces : and as prompt to refuse any , as to receiue any , if hee might saue by the bargain . howsoeuer subiects be now grown so tyrannical , that where pretences may accōplish their malice , they cannot thinke there is a god , or , at least , they think god fauours their proceedings . for calumnious pretences , and aggrauated trisles haue bene the common glosse of parents cruelty in this kind : their president is vulgar , for tyrants neuer slew without state-alchimy , or multiplication of pretended treasons ; neither may alexander lack occasion , so long as he had a meaning to kill antisten●s . the hungry woolfe may call the lamb his debtor , but a good stomack is the day of payment and the prouerbe is well verified : if thou wouldst beate a dog heere is a staffe . so that although churlish parents pretend iust causes of disinheritance , yet these are quickly found , soone allowed , & as soon amplyfied . frō whence you may gather , that no sparke of naturall affection , but only a compulsiue maintenance , keeps the reference betwixt such parents , and such children . for louing nature and affection be flexible , of long forbearance , much pitty , manifest care ; & keepe an establisht forme of affability , with which friends or kinsfolk be vnacquainted : this prouokes an eminent reflexe of loue ; whereas rough carriage begets loue in curres , but a contēptible scorne in noble spirits . it is therefore more commendable to follow the extreame of vertue abounding , then defectiue : the first partakes with mediocritie in the nature ; but the last is altogether opposite . we may more safely therefore allow indulgence , then austerity ; because it approcheth neerer to true loue . for though indulgence hath made children loftie in behauiour towards others , yet ( i obserue ) it breeds a true and vndiuorced affection towards the originall cause . it is therefore an excellent rule , for children , to receiue instruction of strangers ; and by the consequent , to bee any way restrain'd without the parents knowledge , or at least their taking notice : whereby nature cannot grudge against nature , nor yet want reprehension . for howsoeuer marcus cato said well , that he had rather vnrewarded for doing well , then vnpunished for offences : yet we haue naturally a secret spleene against the iudge , though wee account him righteous and impartiall . it must bee expected then , that children doe know a difference betwixt fathers and maisters ; which makes them the more implacable , when they see nature impartiall . from hence sertorius , a politicke captaine , would not himselfe represse the impudence of his souldiers ; least , howsoeuer they deserued ill , yet his correction might take away their louing dutie : which respect made him suffer the enemies incursions , rather to scourge their insolence , whilst they , out of a hare-brained lunasie desired battaile . and thus the sacred decree of correction may bee kept vnviolate , and the loue of children vnblemished . for i am vnanswerably perswaded , that parents wrath diminisheth the childes loue , making him seruile , or else refractorie to the doctrine of themselues and others ; because they cannot vndertake with delight , so long as frownes and feare bee crept into their fancie . but affable parents beget truely affectionate children , who may endure another mans reproofe to mitigate the name of cosset , and yet louingly adore the father because hee was alwayes louing . so then the fathers diligent loue , and a tutors modest instruction , may make a seldome-seene heire affect his fathers life without hypocrisie , and proue a venerable wise man. without which loue apparant , or oftentimes indulgence , i see an eldest sonne , instead of the fathers blessing , render backe sweating curses . i see another inclining onely to the mother ; and a third , slippe into his disinherited fortune . the comaedian therefore saith ingenuously touching a fathers dutie : i ouer-passe expences , i call not euery thing to a strict account ; and that which other sonnes labour to keepe secret , i do not bitterly condemne in mine , lest many things should bee concealed ; for hee that ( through a rugged vsage ) depriues his father ( by false excuses ) of youthfull accidents , will soone deceiue others . it is more availeable then , to governe by liberalitie , not base compulsion : for hee that thus becomes obedient , expects onely till hee may want the witnesse of his actions . now for the dangerous effect of parents changeable loue ( it having beene propounded , that want of loue breedes disinheritance ) i will demonstrate , how horrible , vnlawful , & impossible disinheritance maybe iudiciously accounted . the diuorce of mariage is a weighty case , much forbidden , much controverted ; because marriage it selfe is made a strict vnion , so farre as husbands seeme incorporate with their wiues , being both to bee taken as one flesh . but this vnion admits many exceptions ; neither may any thinke their being made one , extends further , then the rhetoricall aggravation of vnitie , to insinuate how difficult a thing diuorce will be betwixt two , so narrowly vnited : but children haue a more exquisite property of indiuorceable , because they really partake with parents by existence ; deriving a particular & true strength of body from the parents abilitie . and therefore it seemes the matter of disinheritance is a thing so odious , as ( being held improbable to be acted among the iewes , or any nation ) no law of scripture contradicts it . indeed rebellious sonnes are by the verdict of divine iniunction , to suffer death , if they shall strike the parents , or rise vp against them : but for the matter of disinheritance ( which farre transcends the punishment of death , as shall appeare ) i haue read no sillable which may giue the toleration of divinitie . death indeed , comparatiuely respected , may bee thought the best wages of a rebellious sonne : for the act includes his full sentence ; because to smite his parent , is to seeke the destruction of his efficient cause : which act keepes within it so much ingratitude , as heauenly iustice can doe no lesse then remoue him , who durst remoue his begetter ; it beeing an inseparable part of holinesse , to pay offenders with their owne coyne . but disinheritance so much exceeds death , as it approches to a continued torment . death is so fa●re from misery , wh●re men expiate offences , as it rather affoords felicity , because it giues a present satisfaction , and a present hope to enioy a good portion ; if penitence , and a satisfactory mind be companions . but disinheriritance , or abdication , doth not onely enforce death , but makes the circumstance tyrannicall . a violent death is but an abridgement of nature ; but disinheritance doth often bring a violent death , and enlarge the wickednesse of nature . i see no difference betwixt them in the conclusion : for death is an effect commonly of disinheritance ; but no death more excludes all humanitie . the case is palpable . i giue directions to a traveller : hee arrogantly contemnes my counsell ; which doth so much provoke mee , as ( to amend the matter ) i draw him by compulsion to an apparant ambush : in which , after many sustained abuses , horrible vexations , and desperate incounters , hee concludes his life with infamie ; or perhaps blasphemy . so , currish and cruell parents , by disinheritance deales every way answerable to this similitude . the hor●or of which barbarisme is the more amplified , by so much as naturall affinitie claimes a more humane president then strangers . banishment or abiuration is tolerable : for it takes originall by publicke decree , superior counsell , and authority of those , from whom i can chalenge nothing but iustice ; wheras disinheritance , a national banishment ( transcending forraine exile in the cause and manner ) proceedes from priuate occurrences , which cannot reach so high an affliction ; because the nature of it is equall to , nay aboue publicke iustice . now it may well bee esteemed humane , when parents punish with rigor , where the law condemnes not ; because in every offence highly punishable , the law is open : if that condemnes , the parents loue may a little bee excused , though hee doth not excuse his sonnes accusation ; but where himselfe exceedes the lawes rigor , when the law is silent , and becomes accuser , iudge , and executioner , wee may discouer a damnable flintie heart ; apt enough for massacre ; seeing hee first plaies the tyrant with his owne image . parents therefore cannot argue and say ( except disinheritance ) they haue no remedie for disobedience ; seeing there is no crime which may deserue so great satisfaction , but the law is all-sufficient to render iustice , and saue them vnpreiudiced in the aspersion of vnnaturall : which the title disinheritance drawes with it inseparate . for if wee take a view of those impulsiue causes which breede occasion , wee shall perceiue how accessary parents bee to all their childrens vices ; and by the consequent , how culpable they are to punish that so strictly , of which themselues bee authors . setting aside the position which makes the children participate with parents in vices liable to constitution , wee may ( without these ) demonstrate , how guiltie they are of each notorious crime in children , through a deficiencie of rectified education . for as , in naturall productions , nothing is so absurd , from which art cannot extract a deere quintessence ; so among naturall men , and the conditions of humanitie , nothing is so irregular , from which industrious and true instructiue methode cannot produce a divine excellence . indeed the disquisition of natures is difficult , and much iudicious labour belongs to the true sifting of a perverse disposition . but questionlesse , the worst natured among all badde men , are , by a true seasoning of minoritie , a wise progresse , or institution of ripe yeares , and an ingenious confirmation of practises well deserued ; they are capable of goodnesse , subdued in mischiefe , and apprehensiue in a sufficient measure . so that we must not ignorantly impute the curse of children to a wrong cause , seeing it is either the curse of the parents ; first , not to instruct children at all . secondly , not to instruct them sufficiently . thirdly , not in the true manner . examples are infinite : alcibiades may include all . hee , a voluptuous and sensuall swaggerer , could neuer bee reclaimed by many strong experiments ; till comming by chaunce to the philosophicall lecture of socrates , hee was suddenly converted : such a sympathie there was betwixt this philosophers doctrine , and the disciples attention ; whereas twenty others might perhappes haue beene frustrate in the same conuersion , though their precepts had beene equall ; because there is an invisible concordance to make them aequiualent . which manner of instruction , respecting the qualitie and person , of method and tutors , bee matters onely appertaining to the parents charge . now ( if a curse imposed vpon them , bee a hinderance to the perfection of both , whereby they neither can be prouided of true instructors or instructions ) shall wee accuse the childe as an efficient of the fathers curse , or the fathers curse now existent , as an originall of the childs future inconueniences ? this being necessarily concluded , wee may well inferre , concerning disinheritance , that parents curses beeing the onely causes which may prouoke this irreligious act ( seeing they might sometimes , but doe not , and doe not sometimes because they cannot , though it be possible , ingraft goodnesse ) by their owne ignorance ; wee may inferre , ( and that most iustly ) that they resemble heliogabalus , who being the cause of his friendes drunkennesse , would cast the miserable wretches amongst tame beares and lyons , to terrifie them when they awaked . but herein they differ : hee was the voluntarie cause of his friendes ; parents , the vnadvised cause of their childrens errour : in stead of which hee threw his friendes among tame beares and lyons ; parents , by disinheritance , throw their issue amongst rampant wolues . for besides the perplexed imfamie , and sorrowfull perturbations of such excluded castawayes ; what shal we coniecture touching their desperate resolution ? or how shall wee condemne , if they bee mercilessely ouerthrowne by the impulsiue necessity of destruction ? seeing their destitute fortune inuites them to embrace each glistering temptation , and to shake hands with calamity . i cannot ( for mine owne part ) comprehend all this without remembrance and pitty of such parents ruines ; seeing they cannot discharge all , before children haue incurred destruction without them . nothing is written which doth not amplifie our instruction ( saith diuinity ) and nothing amongst all is more effectuall then true observations , except divinitie . most ingenious therefore and full of perswasion , may that morality bee , soone collected from insensible creatures , they haue an excellent and singular loue ( each creature in his kind ) to nourish vp their weake little ones . the hunted lionesse driues her whelpes before . the pregnant beare forsakes not her den vntill she be deliuered ; neither do the whelpes come forrh vntill they can escape danger . the snake swallowes her yong , if any disaduantage happens . and aboue all , most admirable is natures ingenuity , touching that forraine creature , called by the name of su ; which ( being persecuted ) shuts vp her cubbes in a depending scrip , and so protects them from the huntsman . the multitude of examples would be tedious . briefly therefore , it is a generall note among them ; they neuer forsake their infantry till it be able euery way ( like themselues ) to preuent mischiefe . this may rebuke all cruell-minded parents , who ( notwithstanding the discursiue light of reason ) can cast off meere humanity , and goe beneath a brutish goodnesse of nature , not onely to forsake , but to abhorre their issue ; and leaue them destitute , before they be any way enabled to sustaine nature . for children bee indeed thus reiected euer , because they be vnable . omitting these indifferent allegations , which some may account sophistry , rather then sound doctrine ; because they beleeue nothing but what scripture makes apparant ; nor that can be accepted among them , vnlesse no christian contradicts it ; neither can that which all acknowledge , winne oftentimes any more then outward beleefe . it shall bee therefore sufficient to confute this errour in question , by the soundest proofe ; and then the vnbeliefe of hypocrites will serue to multiply their condemnations . wee cannot ( where things bee left vntouched in scripture ) assume a safer patterne then the omnipotent properties of our creator . first then , that metaphoricall affinitie , of father and sonne , which himselfe hath pleased to entertaine betwixt himselfe and the elected , may serue to instruct parents ( without controuersie ) in all degrees of duty , and inseparate relation . now all agree vpon this principle , that whomsoeuer god hath once loued , him hee hath loued euerlastingly . it is impossible therefore , if at any time there hath bene amity betwixt father and sonne , that ( this being obserued ) it should fall away to disinheritance . for if gods maiestie descend so low , as to continue his loue alwaies where hee hath begunne to loue : shall not imitation hereof be requisite in fathers , who be commanded to loue their children , and in whom nature exacts more proportionate equality , then in the least degree can be imagined betwixt holinesse and frailty ? each circumstance appeares so manifest , as i know not how sophisters can colourably distinguish . a second instance may confirme this president . god neuer hath forsaken the most wicked reprobates , till they haue voluntarily forsaken him first : the prodigall demanded his portion , left his father , and yet the father willingly accepts him being conuerted . this becomes farre opposite to the practise of our age : so peremptory is the humor of disinheriting-parents , as they forget common charity , and refuse loue with an implacable contempt of reconcilement . as for the pretended causes which commonly prouoke parents , i cannot any way coniecture , that they be either halfe so infinite , or in the least degree so terrible , as those with which all parents prouoke omnipotence : & therfore i cannot well see how such fathers can claime the petition of forgiuenesse , when they cannot forgiue their owne issue . the heire of a kingdome entitles himselfe not more iustly to his crowne , then eldest sonnes do to their homely inheritance . now i obserue , that wheresoeuer hath been a successory regiment , there , weake-braind , ryotous , tyrannicall , and lewd princes , haue been admitted to their dignities without contradiction . and doth not the bloud of common heires answere to a kings priuiledge , in the title of legitimate ? why then shall wee protect such vniust partialitie ? if children should receiue no more thē they deserue : or if they shold claime interest of loue , no longer then merits make a full proportion ; how should the liberality of parents , and the prerogatiue of children , appeare ? or what thankes and filiall loue may fathers expect from such children , more then from good apprentices ? cimon could intombe his mares , when they purchased credite in the swift races of olimpiades . xanthippus could bewaile his dogges death which had followed his maister from calamina . alexander could erect a citty in the honor of bucephalus , when hee had long bene defended by him in the dangerous attempts of many fortunate battailes . the asse may well ( among the heathen ) be adorned with lillies , violets , and garlands ; when their goddesse , vesta , by an asses voyce , auoyded the rape of priapus . if merits therefore should onely challenge the loue of parents , nothing might make a difference betwixt sonnes and bond-slaues : seeing bare humanity , and the law of nations hath accounted the honours of one worthy to be honored , nothing but equall and necessary thankes . nay , in all ages , so bountifull and respectiue hath authority beene to true merites , as euen the desertlesse children haue met with dignitie to remunerate the fathers worthinesse : thus did the athenians bestow great wages vpon lysimachus , to gratifie the seruice of aristides : and thus the romans preferred the cause of marcus brutus , because his ancestors had tooke the countries quarrell against tyrants . shall fathers then esteeme it such irregular custome to dignifie their owne begotten issue , though desertlesse ; seeing strangers haue done this to congratulate good fathers ? two examples there bee antient and moderne ( worth our memory ) that shew the practise of our theame in question ; and affoords singular obseruation . the first is euident , in the raigne of agis a lacedemonian king : in whose principall citie of sparta , the custome had prohibited alienations that preiudice the heire : the custome grew to bee a confirmed law : after continuance , there fell a difference betwixt one of the highest magistrates and his eldest sonne : the father was so actually prouoked , that hee exhibites a decree to licence disinheritance ; the decree was established : and afterward ( saith plutarch ) couetousnesse became publick . from hence my obseruation is double . first , the originall cause of disinheritance was fury : secondly , the commodity was ranke couetousnesse . lastly , it is apparant by the tower-rowles , that ( during the raigne of edward the fourth ) one thomas burdet an englishman , being somewhat innocently condemned to death ( about captions tearmes ignorantly vttered ) in his way to death espied his eldest sonne , whom ( before ) hee disinherited : him therefore hee penitently receiued ; and hauing now confessed seriously , that hee felt gods wrath vpon him onely to punish that vnnaturall sinne : hee humbly beg'd forgiuenesse of god , and of his sonne : the application of such a paenitent remorse is easy . hauing now marshald vp this troope of arguments , which ( i thinke ) are approueable ; some ( questionlesse ) will account them white-liuerd souldiers , drest vp onely with a rhetoricall habite : but censure is no lesse infinite , then oftentimes odious : tryall therefore shall discharge the integrity of these ; whilst i proceed briefly to muster one troope more ; whose courage is enough animated by their aduersaries weaknes ; if not impossibility of appearance . for if the birth-right ( which intitles an heire ) be inseparate , then the prerogatiue is also inseparate ; for inheritance depends vpon priority ; which being vnremoueable ; the adiunct essentiall cannot perish without the subiect . relations therefore be so congruous , that we may sooner affirme the sonne and father not to be , then heires and inheritance not to bee correlatiues : and by the consequent as lawfully may wee depriue both of beeing ; as we may permit the one without the other . ( : * : . : * : . : * : ) ( *** ) essay . vi. of poetry . poetry is called the worke of nature : i rather thinke it a diuine alacrity , entertained by the fitnesse of nature : for if ( in generall ) a cheerefull spirit partakes of a diuine influence ; then this ( being spiritually maintained , with a desire to communicate , and expresse such quickning inventions ) can bee no other , being the soule of alacrity , then an inuisible diuine worke ; which doth transport nature ; whilst nature meruailes at the cause . * philosophie hath diuided our soules faculty ; and makes the intelligent part our principall essence ; that cannot perish : poetry depends on that , and a sublime fancie ; they being the helpes of our dispofall : or ( to speake truely ) a poet vseth euery function of the soule : depending vpon which , hee must reiect nature : for nature perisheth ; the soule cannot . nature is then the hand-maide ; but an infusiue worthinesse , the soule of poetry . conceiue but this , and nature will disclaime : nature imparts her faculties by generation ; excluding study and custome : a poet neuer is engendred so , further then a naturall logician , therefore he exceeds nature . we may obserue a sweete concordance in this mighty fabricke : all things are coupled with an allusiue vnion : life , is a flash of immortality ; sleepe , of death : middle age of summer : arts also , and ages past , haue a similitude with things inferiour , and signifie things future . language is likened to a casket , logicke to an artificers instrument ; rhetoricke to a pretious colour ; and poetry likewise hath a fit resemblance with prophecy : both bee an vnutterable rapture ; both bee a boundlesse large capacitie : both bee a vniversall tractate : both bee confined within a small number : both bee discredited with false pretenders : both bee dispersed among men ( originally ) obscure : both bee alike neglected : both ( generally ) contemned alike . poetry is made the conveyance of amorous delights : and certainely it doth bestow much sweetnesse in apparrelling loue-accents . this onely might discover it for a supreme donatiue ; seeing the musicke in heaven is an agreement of soules . ierome savanarola , the monkish phylosopher , makes poetry a part of reasonable philosophy ; maintaining this , against naturall pretenders of poetry : i will not meddle with his arguments , they are elaborate and learned : the truth is evident without serious proofe . verse and rime bee things naturall : for they be onely colour and appearance : but if you value the phrase and the materials after the same proportion ; as thinking your conceit able to furnish a poeme ; you shall indeed perceiue it likewise naturall ; that is , naked , vnpolished , nay the scorne of poetry . a quicke contriving head may vtter laudably ; but never was a braine so sudden , as to compose well without the president of others in the like kinde : nay , take the most illiterate writers , ( who propound experience and familiar allusions ) they haue a time to meditate , to compare , to dispose . this art of poetry cannot proue eminent , vnlesse the writer hath a reioycing heart , an apprehensiue head , and a disclouded memory . it is impossible therefore for one deiected by calamity , or one perplexed with questions of another science , to get perfection in this free knowledge : i say , perplexed with questions of another science ; because a poet should rather copiously discourse of all , by application to a witty purpose , rather then be exquisite in a particular art , respecting depth of rule , or quidditie . notions , coniectures , and some of the best passages , be more sufficient for him , then a praecise certaintie of rules . he therfore who propounds excellence , must refuse the multitude of questions , and the vexation of miseries : both bee as clogges and fetters to that aspiring facultie . from hence i may conclude the perfection of this science doth match the straines of right alch●mie : it being ( in both ) alike impossible to find that man who shall directly promise to attaine perfection ; because impediments exceede the meanes . the nourishment of poetry is good applause : for poems being made to allure and bewitch the reader in a lesson of moral precept , must prosper in their meaning , or be discountenanced : as all professions be , which make mens good opinions the reward of knowledge : and therefore hath england affoorded few men accurate in poetry , because opinion hath vouchsafed to ranke her among triviall labours , and recreatiue vanities : whereas the italians haue proved singular proficients ; because ( saith rosinus ) authority hath graced their elegance . the reason ( i thinke ) which hath wrought in england such a degenerate value of poems , proceeded ( first ) from the the professors ignorance & generall basenesse : but secondly from the stubborn gravity of the best readers ; who scorne to account the best poems profitable works , because all haue hitherto bin accounted slight composures , or at best vnprofitable . and we imagine it a weaknesse to recant an error . some haue certainely contemned the worthiest labors even throgh malicious despaire of attempting the like worthily . howsoever , the base opinion which poetry incurs among vs , hath bin repaid with iustice : that is , the discredit of our nation : for our vnder-valuing opinion hath deprived the publicke of more iudicious workes then bee already extant : and so the glory of our nations eminent wit , hath beene eclipsed with forraigners . as for the private and sensible benefit ( which any shal conceiue in publishing his labours ) i see none vertuous but this : he may excuse ( by them ) his silent nature ; and bee accounted better , as a melancholy poet , then a speechlesse foole . fame and eminence savour of a fruitlesse ambition ; that will now purchase nothing for poetry by preferment , but an opinion that poetry is his knowledge , and ( it being so ) that he is fit for nothing else : or some perhaps ; nay , the wisest , will bestow compassion , and say , it is pitty such a pregnant wit should e●d●uour so idly . these bee the comforts of beeing famous : let doetrs be ambitious of it . the deepest poets haue neglected verse , i meane the polished forme of verse : but i would sooner loue such workes in prose ; and heartily intreate such writers , even for their own dispatch-sake , and the readers also , to abandon poetry , except they can avoyd that crabbed stile and forme , which weakens any readers appetite and apprehension . the relish of poetry is a candied barke : an elegance so sweetned with apt phrase and illustration , as it excludes rough harshnesse , and all mystery : controversies and phylosophicall questions bee therefore improper arguments for a poeticall tractate : they cannot be expressed with an inticing libertie . similitudes be the fit interpreters of poets : when i affirme this , i doe not approue all similitudes , but such as doe interprete : which they cannot do , except they be more familiar then the thing interpreted . this condemnes any , who from a depth in learning , shall produce the mathematickes , to illustrate grammer : or shall compare things knowne by repetition to an example in astronomy . poore and prodigall haue been a poets titles : these haue been fixt with a contemptiue meaning : but i imagine they advance his qualitie : for therefore he neglects wealth , because he feeles in himselfe a iewell which can redeeme his bondage in adversitie . freedome of braine and body is a poets musicke : peace and health preserue , and do reviue his fancie . when therefore a reward is motiue , it makes the labour like it selfe , servile . poetry should therefore ( being an impartiall free science ) be vndertaken by the free professor ; a man sufficient in estate : such a one as need not vse flattery to win reward ; nor so indite , that things may be dispatched quickly , and his wants quickly furnished ; nor so dispatch , that hee may rather make things saleable , through obscoenitie or scandals , then approved labour . these mischiefes follow a mercenarie hope : and therefore be mercenarie poets odious : such ( i meane ) as are provoked by poverty , and will exact their wages . essay vii . of discontents . pleasure and sorrow bee the obiects of vertue : but discontents may be thoght rather the obiects of pleasure . vertue moderates the folly of pleasure & sorrow : but pleasure so moderated , remoues discontents . i reckon discontēts among my private * sorrowes ; which amplifie my owne mis-fortune ; which feele the same ( perhaps ) a greater torment for my friends misery , then my owne : yes , i am better assured of my owne fortitude to contemne sorrowes , then of my friends aptnesse , to relish my counsels ; or of his owne freedome to advise himselfe : and therefore his vexation ( he being my selfe ) afflicts me more iniuriously : because i can overcome my owne , better then his. i call those properly d●scontēted , who are busiethoughted : who , like brainelesse patients , are almost desperate if another giues them poyson ; and yet ( being recovered ) they will adventure to poyson themselues : for many of this ranke you shall perceiue , who having passed the discontents which come by others malice , will ( of their owne accord ) frame new perplexities : they will conceiue things otherwise then they be , and so nourish a conceit till they beleeue it reall . opinion is indeed the mediate cause of discontents ; but then a rectified or false capacitie ( being an immediate cause of rectified or false opinions ) begets a true or idle discontent . i call that idle , which is begotten by an idle fancie : such idle discontents are soone expelled ; they are a causelesse melancholy , begot by alteration , dispersed by alteration : but melancholy , meeting with a reall cause , becomes a setled mischiefe . howsoever , nothing ( though most worth our discontent ) can bee said his or my discontent , vnlesse wee so conceiue it . for certainly , a carelesse resolution may be freed from conscience and discontent together : wheras perhaps a nice examining head may so ensnare it selfe with multitude of thoughts , that the confusion may prouoke both : but then a carelesse resolution serues worthily to abate such idle , and such reall discontents . for as in naturall bodies fasting and food destroy & nourish ; so in our daily proiects , cōsideratiue thoughts and carelesse negligence fasten & remoue . the best * philosophers haue left a doubtfull number of mens perturbations ; some assigne sixe , some fiue , some foure , some eleven . they might ( in my conceit ) be all reduced vnto a triple number : including likewise the very causes of all discontent . imagine therefore they proceed first from iealousies of what kind soever ; either in being contemned , neglected , or ambiguous of good successe : then from doubts not to be resolued , either through weaknesse of our vnderstanding , or intricacie of the question , then from an extreame desire , either of things difficult or impossible . to iealousies , and such desires , all are incident ; to doubts and questions , schollers , or scholler-like heads onely : these comprehend the summe of all our crosses : of all our sorrowes both in soule and body : nay , all more narrowly may be reduced to a desire : for when we briefly say , he hath his desire , we must withall intend , that he is neither troubled with pleasure , griefe , feare , audacity , hope or anger : the sixe turbulent passions reckoned by plato . certainly ( amongst all ) perplexed questions be to a labouring head , most troublesome : and lesse blameable was that found * philosopher , who made the ocean capable of him , because he was not capable of reason for the ebbe and flow ; rather then such as be ashamed to liue , when either needinesse , feare , ignominy , griefe , or disappoyntments contradict them . it is meere bestiall to dye vpon such weake incounters ; which might be all confuted with a heathens knowledge : but then to dye for ignorance may seeme excuseable : for such a liue is bestiall , where we are ignorant of reason ; and better is it to be ignorant of reason how to prevent death , then to preserue life in ignorance . the truth is , our discontents of any kinde do mis-informe our iudgement ; no otherwise then a busie knaue , who ( seeing the bad luck of lawfull meanes ) doth bribe the magistrate and neuer was a magistrate more easily bribed , then is a iudgement ( so oppressed ) corrupted . wee haue no liberty to know , much lesse to iudge ; no reason to discourse , much lesse to put a difference , no freedome to conceiue , much lesse to vnderstand , when discontents do trouble vs. they interpose our brightest eminence of wisedome ; no otherwise then clowdes darken the sunnes glory : they keepe a strong possession against our vertue & all good society . the most significant title they can deserue is trecherous : for they breed sensibly an innovation ; begetting in vs a preposterous change ; & that commonly proceeds from worse to worse : for being more incorporate with them & their mutatiōs , we challenge lesse freedom in our selues , to help our selues . discontents , like an extreme disease , be of a shifting nature : they delight continually in motion ; as men vehemently sicke doe change their beds & chambers . a discontented man does and vndoes , that he may doe againe : thinking to loose his humour in variety ; or by aduenture ( if by nothing else ) among many changes to make one good one . but this desire of change corrupts our honesty . we shal perceiue a three-fold mischiefe which goes inseparate with discontents : for they bee ready to seduce our thoughts , our words , our actions : we mis - esteeme , mis - condemne , mis - attempt , through discontented passions . the reason is manifest : for discontent being the companion of our thoughts , makes them , our words and actions ruled by that ; and so become vnpleasing , like it selfe : therefore doe male contents vnder-value merite in their owne opinion ; therefore ( being waspish ) they detract from worthinesse ; therefore they dislike or doe condemne bitterly ; and therefore , likewise , do men thus affected , vndertake more venturously then wisely . so that salust hath obserued well touching the character of catilines adhaerents ; that they were homines quos flagitium , egestas , aut conscius animus exagitabat . and , questionlesse , such men so inwardly bitten with their owne afflictions , can finde no leasure in themselues to keepe affinity with others : good soueraignes therefore , louing parents , honest friends , loyall subiects , wise maisters , haue bene no male-contents : for ( being so ) it is impossible that such a troubled fountaine should send forth any thing but offensiue tumults . there is nothing more doth make our enemies reioyce , then a deiected spirit ; and nothing more afflicts our soule then to be sensible of their reioycings ; therefore doth that experienced prophet dauid so often wish for a deliuerance from their triumph ; so often doth he lament their insultations . infinite are those aduantages , which may be had against men discontented : and therefore hath a melancholy spirit some prerogatiue in this respect ; because his time of discontent is scarce distinguished from his daily carriage ; for night is sooner visible in an open pallace , then a smoky cottage . i may propound of these , what celsus doth of cole-worts : being halfe sodden , they are laxatiue ; but twice sodden , they are binding : so discontents beeing but slightly apprehended and entertained , may bee a meanes sitting to prepare the way for honest applications , and to purge security : but being suffered long to boyle within vs , they do confirme their owne ; and also stoppe the passage of other worse corruptions . of morall and awakening discontents , the wise salomon speakes ; when hee resolues positiuely ; anger is better then laughter , for by a sad looke the heart is made better : melior est ira risu : quia per tristitiam vultus , corrigitur animus delinquentis : some fauourites there bee , so much beholding to fortune , that in a whole age they haue scarce learnt the definition of sorrow . in these men the prouerbe is verified ; fooles are fortunate ; and yet agreeable with an honest meaning : for those ( i thinke ) are chiefly bound to fortune , or prouidence rather , who cannot through a good simplicity affect dishonest practises , and close dealings : it being consonant with reason , that men ill-befriended with a subtle braine , should bee assisted with some higher policie . all that wee suffer , is by our owne or fortvnes worke : wee cannot bee too patient with fortunes , too much prouoked with our owne workes of sorow : when fortune punisheth , wee haue no remedy ; when our owne indiscretion punisheth , we may afflict our selues the longer with a wise fury , that wee may learne to recollect and to awaken our iudgement . some haue a resolute contempt for all aduersities ; but such a valorous scorne may be ingendred by a sottish ignorance , or an vncapable dulnesse ; no otherwise then both may be a drunkards motiues in extreme hazard . as for my selfe ; i neuer felt a sorrow , which i esteemed a discontent , vnlesse it gaue no profitable vse ; either by making mee more circumspect and prouident ; or acquainting me before-hand with my destiny . the most honourable dealing with our worst afflictions , is to confute them by a discourse of braine , and so exercise our knowledge , for our owne aduantage , against the foes of knowledge . but none among the worst crosses shall indeed predominate , if sometimes in a lawfull humour wee doe crosse our selues . two bookes of characters . the first booke . character . i. an impudent censurer is the torture-monger of wit , ready for execution before iudgement . nature hath dealt wisely with him in his outside ; for it is a priuiledge against confutation , and will beget modesty in you to see him out-face : he is so fronted with striuing to discountenance knowledge , by the contempt of it , as you would thinke him borne to insolence , though indeed it bee habituall and comes by negligence of his company , which rather seeke to laugh and continue , then to reforme his vanity . a chimney-sweeper may conuerse with him very safely , without the hazard of blushing ; and so may any that will contemne his ignorance : buffets will conuince him better then language or reason : that proues him ranke-bestiall , descended from the walking ape ; which on the mountaines seeme carefull inhabitants , but at your approach , the formality of man onely . the land-theefe , and sea-captaine , be neuer lesse out of their way ; but wiser commonly about their obiect : they spare to wound poore trauellers , but he incounters any thing not worth eye-sight . a wise mans minde gouernes his body , his minde is onely restrained by a bodily feare : and if you hope to be released of what he dares , you must inforce him to what he dares not ; and then you shall perceiue him to be the comicall braggard , or the gingling spur . lay aside this medicine and he is incurable ; for hee is so rauisht with his owne folly , as hee often commends what he misinterprets , and still dispraises ( if he scorne the author ) because hee cannot perceiue . to commend therfore and discommend what he conceiues not , is alike tolerable and equall . the wilde arabian comprehends him fully ; for as the one , so the other , takes tribute and exaction of all passengers , except acquaintance and familiars : if any thing makes him praise-worthy , this must , or nothing ; because he seemes ( by this means ) morall in frendship ; and so in some kind vertuous : but his applause and detraction , are both odious , because abounding through his meere pleasure . when all trades perish , he may turne shop keeper , and deale with ballance ; for in weights and measures none is more deceitfull . hee ponders pithy volumes by the dram or scruple , but small errours by the pound . if he takes courage in his humour , he haunts the authours company , recites the worke , intends it to some third person , and after he hath damnd the thing in question , hee refers himselfe to the right owner ; who , if hee be there manifest , must coniure this deuill quickely , or he will seeme honest , and craue satisfaction : but call his life in question , and he betraies his guiltinesse , which then accuses him of false dealing howsoeuer ; yes , though he hath commented rightly ; for he commends ignorantly , and discommends scandalously . for delighting in his humour , he makes his free-hold an inheritance : put it to the hazard , and he will compound for the title . charact : ii. a compleate man is an impregnable tower : and the more batteries he hath vndergone , the better able he is to continue immoueable . the time & he are alwaies friends : for he is troubled with no more then hee can well employ ; neither is that lesse , then will euery way discharge his office ; so he neither surfets with idlenesse , nor action . calamities , & court-prefermēts do alike moue him , but cannot remoue him : both challenge from him a conuenient vse , no vilde indeuour , either to swell or dispaire . his religion , learning , and behauiour , hold a particular correspondence : he commands the latter , whilst himselfe and both be commanded by the first . hee holds it presumption to know , what should be looked , or thought vpon with wonder ; and therefore rather then he will exceed , hee can be lesse then himselfe : accounting it more noble to imitate the fruitfull bough which stoopes vnder a pretious burthen ; then applaud the tall eminence of a fruitlesse birch-tree : knowing humility is a fitter step to knowledge , then presumption . he smiles vpon vice and temptation first , seeming to allure it , till , without suspicion , hee may soone disrobe and disarme it : for hauing laboured to know the strength of follie , he knowes it to be his captiue . from hence proceeds his victorie , in that he can preuent mischiefe , and scorne the advantage of basenesse . his worthinesse to bee rewarded hee may conceale : but his desire to doe nobly , in a better kinde , his actions will not suffer to bee vnknowne ; by which the world can iudge he deserues , and saue him from the scandall of a cunning hypocrite . if merites direct him in the way to honor , they do not leaue him in the way to honour ; but are his best attendants to accompany his whole preferment : for to deserue what hee obtaines , and to deserue no more , is sluggish ; to deserue after a thing bestowed , is duely thankefull ; but a continued merit stops accusation . whatsoeuer he borrowes of the world , is by himselfe paid back with double interest : for what hee obserues , passeth through the forge of his wisedome , which refines it ; and the file of his practise , which confirmes it as a good patterne : so the interest exceeds the principall , and ( which exceeds all ) praiseth the vsurer . the name of guilt ( with him ) is vanished vnder the charme of a good conscience : which with his eye-sight saue his tast a labor : for he knows what experience can teach , but is not taught by experience . hee is faithfully his owne friend : and accepts the friendship of others for his owne sake ; but imparts his owne for others . when he loues , hee loues first : from hence hee chalenges a double honour : for loue and prioritie is a two-fold merit . hee lackes nothing to ingender happinesse ; for he can spare nothing that he enioyes ; he enioyes it so honestly : and that hee hath already , serues to purchase new contentment . for as he liues , his capacitie is enlarged , though before it were sufficient for his other faculties : they be most numerous when himselfe is nothing : for being dead , hee is thought worthier then aliue : then hee departs to his aduancement . character . iii. a good husband is the second part of a good man : hee chalenges no more nor lesse from art or nature , then doth become his facultie , and giue comfort to his wife ; so he doth not ( by striuing to please ) seeme low minded ; nor by ouer-valuing his properties , proue a tyrant . his behauiour and discourse promise no more then he meanes , and may very well iustifie . hee is not altogether to bee chosen by the common weight , or standard ; for his best parts be invisible . a good wife shal know him quickly to bee worth her taking : for h●e enquires out her worthinesse first . he is not therefore put to much trouble of being denied twice : for if hee thinkes he can prevaile amisse , prevaile too soone , or not prevaile , because hee is too good ; hee hath the modesty to refuse first : but otherwise , if opinion dares susspect , and so refuse him first , hee may account it happinesse , because he was refused so soone : hauing ( by that meanes ) escaped one who could not discerne him . the honor of a good wife makes him no more vnpractised in the patience of a bad , then if hee conversed with her : so his vertues be habituall , not enforced . the misery of a bad wife likewise hath no more ●nraged him to discredit all , then the worthinesse of a good one hath moued him to bee an idolater : so his blessing is , not to augment his curse , or curse his blessing . the highest end of his marriage premeditated , is to resolue how he may desire it without end . hee feeles not the absence of youth by a decay in lust ; but measures the approach of a crooked body by his entire affection . hee neither deceiues himselfe with a foolish confidence , nor drawes a disadvantage to himselfe , by being distrustfull : for he may bee acquainted with those , to whom hee cannot safely commit his wealth , much lesse his wiues honesty ; but hee never suspects , before he be past suspition , and every thing be apparant . hee hath ( notwithstanding ) no friend whom hee dares make his deputie . hee seekes rather to bee well knowne , then commonly noted : for beeing knowne , hee cannot bee mistaken ; but otherwise it is very doubtfull . hee hates not her , but hers ; and that with a hope to make her detest herselfe , not bee divorced from him : for hee couets rather to bee daily amending her , then make a new hazard , or want resolution . hee may dislike therefore his wiues humour , and loue her in the same quantitie . hee cannot bee chosen , because a better is absent : for hee is himselfe , the president & the paterne . he cannot therefore be refused , if he be well known : for being good , hee proues the best , and beeing so , the best husband . character . iiii. a contented man is a faire building in the bottome of a valley : you can discerne nothing about him , vnlesse you approach neere , and nothing in him worth himselfe , vnlesse you doe proceed . there is no land like vnto his owne conscience : that makes him sow and reape together : for actions bee ( with him ) no sooner thoughts , then they proue comforts , they bee so full of innocence . his life therfore is a continuall haruest : his countenance and conuersation promise hope ; they both smile vpon their obiect : neither doth the end faile his purpose : for his expectation was indifferent and equall , according to the meanes . events therefore cannot oppresse him ; for he propounded all , before he vndertooke some ; and saw the extreamest poynt of danger , before he did imbarke . he medles no further with vncertainties , then losse and lucre be alike in accident : for doubtfull things of moment , make men stagger ; whilst hope and feare distracts them . if probable and lawfull meanes deceiue him , they cannot trouble him : for he ascribes nothing to himselfe , that is aboue him . when gods determinations doe therefore disappoynt ; hee neither maruailes , nor mis-interprets . neglected fortunes , and things past , hee leaues behinde ; they cannot keepe pace with him . the necessity of things absent , he measures by his meanes : but as for things impossible , hee could neuer begin to affect them . and in the quest of future proiects , hee neuer doth transgresse the pesent comfort . hee can with as much selfe-credit bee a captiue , as a promoted courtier . dignities may do him honour , not entice him : povertie may threaten , and be peremptory , but cannot ouer-come . riches may make his honesty more eminent , not more exquisite . hee is so far from adding malice to any , that he can praise the merits of an enemy . anger and revenge bee two turbulent passions : in him ( therefore ) the first shewes onely that hee can apprehend : the last , that he can iustly prevent further mischiefe . so he neither doth insult through anger ; nor satisfie his bitternesse by revenge . repentance , which with some proues melancholly , with him proues a delightfull assurance : for seldome doth hee lament things meerely vicious , so much as vertues imperfectly attempted . hee vndertakes every thing with more advantage , then any ( but himselfe ) can imitate : for beeing voyd of troublesome vexation , his willing minde makes the way lesse difficult . his policie and close dealing doe not disturbe his time of pleasure , or his quiet dreames : for he can awake with as much delight in day , and sleepe with as much solace in the darke , as either his intimate purpose can awake to every mans applause ; or bee concealed to his owne safetie , and no mans detriment . hee doth not readily incurre anothers rage ; nor doth hee raile against himselfe ; for he cannot bee before hand with quarrelsome engagements ; nor rashly run into a manifest error . he doth not therefore ( when all approue him ) miscall himselfe , closely , damned hypocrite , or lewd villaine . he feeles more felicitie in this , that he can forbeare to enioy any thing , rather then let any thing enioy him ; or rather then hee will enioy any thing indirectly . he is not so selfe-subsisting that hee scornes to borrow ; so shamelesse , that hee borrowes all : nor so alone contented , that others doe not partake in his freedome : or so absolute in freedome , that hee becomes not more absolute by the vse of others . hee makes more ill mea●ings good , by good constru●tion , more haplesse events honest by a lawfull confidence , and more dangerous vndertakings easie , by a calme proceeding , then the contrary . for ( whilst hee knowes iealousie as a fearefull , eating , and distastfull vice ) hee cannot suspect without the cautions of why , whom , how , where and when . briefly , beeing contented , hee is content to be happy : and being so , he thriues best when hee thinkes best : he does more then he vndoes . he wins more often then he saues : and , like the caspian sea , remaines the same vnchangeable . charact . v. a good emperour is the second sauiour to christianity , and a direct center of his peoples loue : his greatnesse extends rather to posterity , then is confident of pedigree . he may be counselled or confirmed , but his election remaines peculiar . his obiect therefore ( to discerne ) may be infinite , or extravagant ; but paterns ( to imitate ) must be supernal ; for he acknowledges but one supremacy , and in that remembers a succession : which makes him leaue mans precepts vnto frailty , view honor as a thing mediate , himselfe immediatly next to his creator , and doth onely know his high commission a determinable power , not know and murmure . he lackes nothing of divinitie , but time in his prerogatiue , the want of which takes away eternitie : so all the honour which relates to him for gods sake , conueighes it selfe to god for his owne . his feare doth vanish into loue or anger ; for he may embrace or conquer , but cannot submit . his royall bounty is as well prompt to take with honour , as to giue with liberty . and as hee can deserue nothing because on him depēds every thing : so is he not by any man to be deserued , because vnto him every man owes his whole inheritance . if therfore hee doth giue where subiects docōdemne ; or chuse when multitudes abandon ; he doth but manifest his free desires , and shew affinity betwixt himselfe & holines : which raises from the dunghill to the scepter ; and from the most obscure disdain of vulgar thoughts vnto the state of happinesse . nay oftentimes this secret in publicke office , proues true ; that men without the aid of birth , and glory of famous merit , lack only so good an entrance , but haue commonly a better ending : or at least , striue more to attaine what others presume vppon . the event therefore makes his large prerogatiue true wisedome , which may bee mis-interpreted weaknesse . the lyon , a king of beasts , is recouered in sicknesse , by eating an ape ; and a good king by devouring flatterers . charac. vi. a worthy poet is the purest essence of a worthy man : he is confident of nature in nothing but the form , and an ingenious fitnesse to conceiue the matter . so he approues nature as the motiue , not the foundation or structure of his worthinesse . his workes doe every way pronounce both nourishment , delight , and admiration to the readers soule : which makes him neither rough , effeminate , nor windy : for by a sweet contemperament of tune and ditty , hee entices others to goodnesse ; and shewes himselfe perfect in the lesson . hee never writes vpon a full stomacke , and an empty head ; or a full head , and an emptie stomacke . for he cannot make so diuine a receptacle stoope to the sordid folly of gall or enuy , without strength : or strength of braine stoope , and debase it selfe with hunting out the bodies succour . hee is not so impartiall as to condemne every new fashion , or taxe idle circumstance ; nor so easie as to allow vices , and account them generous humours . so hee neither seekes to enlarge his credit of bitternesse , by a snarling severitie ; nor to augment his substance by insinuating courtshippe . hee hath more debttors in knowledge among the present writers , then creditors among the ancient poets . hee is possessed with an innocent libertie , which excludes him from the slavish labour and meanes of setting a glosse vppon fraile commodities . whatsoever therefore proceeds from him , proceedes without a meaning to supply the worth , when the worke is ended ; by the addition of preparatiue verses at the beginning ; or the dispersed hire of acquaintance to extoll things indifferent . he does not therefore passionatly affect high patronage , or any further then hee may giue freely ; and so receiue back honest thankes . the dangerous name and the contempt of poets , sprung from their multitude of corruptions , proues no disaduantage or terrour to him : for such be his antidotes that he can walke vntouched , euen through the worst infection . he is no miserable selfe-louer , nor no vnbounded prodigall : for he can communicate himselfe wisely to auoide dull reseruednesse , but not make euery thought common , to maintaine his market . it must be imputed to his perfect eye-sight , that he can see error , and auoide it without the hazard of a new one : as in poems , so in proiects , by an easie coniecture . hee cannot flatter , nor bee flattered : if hee giues desert , hee giues no more ; and leaues hyperbole in such a matter of importance : as for himselfe , he is so well knowne vnto himselfe , that neither publicke fame , nor yet his owne conceite , can make him ouervalued in himselfe . hee is an enemy to atheists ; for he is no fatist nor naturalist : hee therefore excludes lucke and rime , from the acceptance of his poems ; scorning to acknowledge the one as an efficient , the other as an essence , of his muses fauour . hee paies back all his imitation with interest ; whilst his authors ( if reuiued ) would confesse their chiefe credit was to bee such a patterne : otherwise ( for the most part ) he proues himselfe the patterne , and the proiect in hand : siluer onely and sound mettall comprehends his nature : rubbing , motion , and customary vsage , makes the brightnesse of both more eminent . no meruaile though he be immortall , seeing he conuerts poyson into nourishment ; euen the worst obiects and societies to a worthy vse . when he is lastly silent ( for he cannot die ) hee findes a monument prepared at others cost and remembrance , whilst his former actions bee a liuing epitaph . charact . vii . an honest lawyer is a precious diamond set in pure gold , or one truely honest , and a compleate lawyer : the one giues glory to the other ; and being diuided , they be lesse valuable . diuinity , and a corrected nature , make him habituall in the first ; but studious labor , & a discursiue braine make him equal , if not absolute , in the last : he knows law to be the mris of man , & yet hee makes honesty the mris of law. the first therefore may exceed the last ; but the last neuer hath predomināce in him , without the other . he is too diuine to be tempted with feare , fauor , minerals , or possessions ; and too diuine not to be tempted with perfect knowledge , & a pittifull cōplaint : he hath as much leasure to conferre with conscience , in the most busy terme , as in the deadest vacation : and he is alwaies more diligent to maintain wronged pouerty , then attentiue to allow iniurious greatnesse : hee can as freely refuse a prodigall , or enforced bounty , as hee can accept or demand due recompence : he resorts to london with a more full braine , then empty bags , and ( at his returne ) he purses vp more full comfort , then yellow coine . he cannot bee so cōfident as to persist in error ; nor so ignorāt as to erre by weaknes : when therefore ( through an aboundance ) some knowledge is confounded ; his errour onely proues a doubtfull question ; and serues to reduce scattered remnants into methode . the multitude of contentions make not him reioice in the number , but in the difficulty ; that truth may appeare manifest to our progeny . he railes not against the vices of his profession , but makes his profession commendable by his owne practise of vertue : his clients disease of being suspēded touches him like his own sicknes ; hee dares not giue a dangerous purgation to dispatch him , nor by negligence and delay , let the euill grow inward and incorporate ; to strengthen it selfe , or consume the patient . he is therefore exquisit in preseruatiues against the consumption ; though perhaps he may faile in restoratiues to support weakenesse . hee may well bee a president to the best physitians ; for he vndertakes no cure when he perceiues it inclining to bee desperate : so hee makes the cause , and not his client , the obiect of his labour . if hee hath fauour enough to make truth be currant , he lookes no further : which he needs not to patch businesse ; nor would he willingly pursue it ; if truth were not often discountenanced . hee doth therefore at a iudges death lament the death of his learning , not his owne priuate lucre : hee can ride the circuit , and scorne to be circular . he hath no leasure to protract time or saue his clients opinion with iests premeditated , or windy inferences : his modesty was neuer below his courage in a good cause ; nor his courage inclining to impudence , though hee were still honored with a prosperous euent . he owes so much worship to desert and innocence , that hee can as faithfully applaud sufficient worth , as not insult ouer , or exclaime against dull ignorance . he is miraculously preserued against incantations : the strongest spell cannot charme him silent , nor the most tempting spirit prouoke him to a vaine pleading . he dares know , and professe in spight of potency ; he dares be rich and honest in despight of custome : and if he doth not grow from a good man , to a reuerend title , hee scornes to bee a traytor and blame tyranny ; but he descends below his owne vnworthinesse . briefly , he is a pretious vessell , he indures the rest , and the defiance of time : hee is a sound commodity which neuer failes the customer : and doth heartily confesse that whosoeuer swarues from this patterne , swarues from honesty , though he be deepely learned : howsoeuer , he thinkes a lawyer deepely learned cannot chuse but be honest ; except multitude of clients oppresse him . charact . viii . a detractor is his owne priuate foe , and the worlds professed enemy : he is indeed an obstinate heretick , and if you will conuert him , you must anew create him likewise : he is of the mahumetā sect which hath despised all religious arts , and sciences , except the confusion of all ; so he approues continually the worst things among many good , and condemnes that which is iudiciously commended : to read therefore and refuse , makes vp the best part of his iudgement . his fiue senses haue a mortall combat with all obiects , that afford sense , or any thing vpon which they fasten : his eye could neuer yet behold a woman faire enough , or honest enough , on whom he might bestow the sincere part of his affection : but he marries one to beget an equall society of froward children : his eare was neuer well contented with a delicious tune , for the left is onely open , and that onely apt to conceiue discords through a customary habit ; which hath reiected all , and therefore will : for that he once hath , and is againe minded to oppose worthinesse , giues him both reason and encouragement to continue spightfull : but ( to our comfort be it spoken ) his enuy ends commonly with himselfe , or at most , indeuours no otherwise then a nasty passenger , to rubbe against , and defile faire outsides , because himselfe is loathsome : hee stops his nose if a perfume approch , but can well endure a stinking draft , or kennell , and embrace the sauour : his palate hath no relish except hee may discommend his dyet , and yet hee consumes all to the very fragments : hee touches or takes vp nothing which is not blasted by him with a naturall defiance ; or at least hee will vtter the manifest forme of discontent . his tongue , the herald of his imagination , is a busie officer , and will ( without question ) challenge the same reward of him , that it doth of women ; for it dispatcheth the same seruice , and deserues therefore ( proportionably alike ) to bee called the maine property of each : hee is not inferiour also to a woman in malice ; for shee is that way limited , though vndeterminable : but hee transcends ; accounting it his pompe to be infinitely licentious towards all . hee railes against the sate , and speakes treasons confidently to himselfe alone , expecting an euent of his desires : nay , sometimes he is taken ( through the licence of his tongue , and a litle sufferance of the company ) in peremptory speeches that bring him to his answere : neither will he hearken to reformation , till he lackes his cares : hee is not ( if a church-man ) ashamed to quarrell , first with his patron , and openly disclaime against the poore value of his benefice : if , a common humorist , hee will diminish the worth likewise of a gift , before the giuers face ; and lookes to the disconueniences , not the cōmodity , he receiues by possession . a slight arithmetician may cast vp the totall sum of his character : & by substraction ( being the body of his soule ) may find him vnder the value of an honest man , aboue halfe in halfe : for he lacks charity , and so comes short six degrees of a good christian : and therfore is an egregious coward because he scornes to iustifie , except hee railes against the dead ; thither he hastens being vnworthy to liue longer . charact . ix . an humorist is the shadow of vnderstanding , the traitor to reason , or the vanity of a better man : bloud-letting , a good whip , honest company , or reasonable instructions might ( at the first ) recouer him . but if he continues among laughing spirits one quarter , the disease will grow inward , and then the cure growes desperate . if his humour bee hereditary , hee is more familiar with it , and makes it the principall vertue of his family : if imitation breedes a habite , hee makes it the pledge of sworne brother-hood , or at least the fauour of new acquaintance : he neuer is infected single , or with one onely ; for either he is now admitted to the seuerall orders ; or hee is prompt enough to subscribe generally when occasion peeps . you must not dare to discommend , or call in question , his behauiour seriously with his companions ; for thogh you cannot cal the humor lawfull , it is sufficient if you can cal it his humor . you may iustly forbeare to restraine him ; for if he be truely adopted , he thinkes it an especiall part to be respectlesse . tobacco is a good whetstone for his property ; hee doth seldome therefore forget to prouoke his constitution this way : & ( by being insatiate ) he knowes well his humor may escape the search of reason , by vertue of the mist. he hath from his cradle bin swadled vp , with much obstinate and peremptory affectation : it being indeed cōmonly the character of his ripest age , to support that freely in his man-hood , which was forbidden in the spark of his minority : hee neuer slips opportunity with deliberation ; hee is therefore prompt enough to begin ; and the reason of his act is enough , though onely that he hath begun , because humor is the motiue . there is nothing within the compasse of thought so triuiall , so absurd , and monstrous , which his vanity will not auerre to be ponderous , decent , and naturall . neither will he abhor to iustifie them by his owne practise , against all opposers . he trauailes vp and downe like tom of bedlem , vnder the title of mad rascall , witty rogue , or notable mad sla●e , and these attributes be a more effectuall oratory to applaud his humour , then a direct cōmendation . he will not sometimes ( vpō smal discontinuance ) vouchsafe to acknowledge , or ( at least ) know , his familiar friends , without much impertinence and interrogatories of their name , or habitation ; whilst another time , hee dares aduenture his knowledge , & salutations vpon meere aliens . hee is very much distracted , and yet i wonder how the frenzy should be dangerous ; for he neuer breaks his braine about the study of reason or inuention : seeing his humour is the priuiledge of both : it is therfore sufficiēt for him to be extreme melācholy , & be most ignorant of the cause or obiect ; and suddenly to be vnmeasurably frolick without prouocation : whilst hee is onely beholding to a brainlesse temperature in discharge of his credit . he will converse freely with serving-men & souldiers within . houres ; & presently when the ague hath once seized him , he proues tyrannicall and insolent towards the silly vermin . he never brake a vow in his whole life , or brake vowes continually : for either they haue not suted with his variety , to be intended , or hee hath intended to obserue them no longer then might agree with his body , which ebbes and flowes . when hee growes old , and past voyce , he learns forraigne languages : as if , when he had dined , hee should devoure the sauce . in a word , he is a chiefe commander of actions , but no command●r of himselfe ; being in his best brauery but a turkish slaue , ever subiect to desire and appetite : according to their paterne , hee is himselfe to himselfe praise-worthy , or elegant ; but to worthinesse it selfe , odious . charac. x. a. coxcombe is a needlesse ornament : hee takes the vpper hand of a foole , and of a wise man also ; and in opinion is as good as a courtier . his education hath beene ( from a childe ) tenderly fearefull ; and the mother remains still afraid of his fortunes , least his politicke wisedome should hazard them too farre : whilst his fortunes hazard his wisedome . hee hath beene alwayes a yong master , and yoked his eares first to insinuation , vnder some oylie-tong'd seruant , or flattering tutor . to know he hath rich kindred , and to deriue a pedigree ; satisfie his valour , learning , proficience in estate or credit with meere contemplation . so much indeed doth he hang vpon the pillars of his gentry . as it shall therefore be the first preparatiue of his acquaintance to salute , and aske what countrey-man your father is , of what house : or he will enquire his demesnes onely ( of some neighbour : ) and if your body be hansome , your cloathes proportionable , your parents wealthy ; he hath purchased an everlasting friend . a round oath is valour enough , a foolish dittie art enough , and good fellowship honesty enough . the truth is , he scornes to bee a searcher , and thinkes it enough for his taylor to medle with linings . but in the circumstance of making your cloathes , the price of your beaver and silke stockins , your purpose to travaile , or of your long absence ; the spanish inquisition cannot be so vnmercifull . he is contented richly , nay absolutely , to be taken onely for a harmlesse man. the generositie and noble carriage of his discourse , is to run desperately into the name of some couragious gallant knight , or some baron in favour : if their alliance to his family can be detected , he giues way with an apparant relish . he is very well fitted for all societies , if his out-side be sutable ; further then which he never conversed with himselfe effectually . nor can i wonder , though he payes deerely , and preserues cloathes delitiously ; seeing those alone are the maintenance of his whole worth ; and therefore you shall perceiue him more furiously engaged about the rending of his doublet , or a little lace , then a magnanimous box , or a bastinado . he is ambitiously giuen to be promoted , either by some embassage to divulge his pedigree , and learne fashions , or by entertainment of some chiefe noble men to discover his bountie ; and ( withall ) his stipendious affection . hee shifts his familiars by the survey of prospect , and the externals ; but his directions proceed from the proverbe of like to like , rather then physiognomy . hee is credulous and confident : the lesse certainty hee hath of a report , the more publicke hee is , and peremptory . hee commits the best part of his vnderstanding to a talkatiue barber : with whom he is the more frequent ; because he thinks , to haue a curle pate , is to haue a visible wit. he would be physicall , and iustly ; for not to preserue his folly in health , were to deceiue the world of his paterne : but being merry for disgestion , his laughter is exorbitant , causelesse , endlesse , and like himselfe . his safest course will bee to marry : nothing makes him so sensible as a wise , good or badde ; till then , the further he flies from his character , he becomes it the more naturally . *** charac. xi . a ranke obseruer is his owne comoedy , and his own audience : for whatsoeuer hee frames by experience , hee applauds by custome : but being out of his element , he is an eele in a sand-bagge ; for he , wanting the humor of his wrested observance , falles away into ignorant silence . hee is arrogant in his knowledge so far , as he ( thinks ) to study men , will excuse him from the labour of reading , and yet furnish him with absolute rarities , fit for all fashions , all discourses . he is a very promiscuous fellow ; and from thence proceeds the vice which makes him without difference , comprehend ponderous and triviall passages vnder the same degree of value or estimation . for whatsoever becomes his politicke vent , becomes his vnderstanding . when he doth therefore fill vp the vessell of his conceits , he hath regard to such things as may bee vttered with most advantage , either of money among the plaiers , or reputation among the generall gallants of our cittie . he takes account of all humours , and through the practise of a contempt to all , he partakes in all : for hee vses what he derides , vnder the priviledge of scorne , and so makes it familiar . so the largest benefit which others reape by contemning the vice in himselfe , arises beyond his purpose or intention : for he extends to others no further then agrees with his owne greedy constitution , meaning to credit , or enrich himselfe ; not amend others : by which meanes all his goodnesse is accidentall . he doth ( notwithstanding ) in some poynts resemble vertue ; but in the worst manner . for being impartiall , he playes the tyrant ; and sels the vices of his deerest friends to discoverie , by playes or pamphlets , but is content that they should stil reserue them to their future infamie : so hee becomes sooner excluded oftentimes from society , then his flattring shifts can readily repaire . flattery and insinuation be indeed the number of his thriving morall vertues , through which ( vnder a pretence of faire meaning ) he takes occasion to betray the marrow of mans varietie : and this affoords fuell for his bitter derision . his table-bookes be a chiefe adiunct , and the most significant embleme of his owne qualitie , that man may beare about him : for the wiping out of old notes giue way to new : and he likewise , to try a new disposition , will finally forsake an ancient friends loue ; because he consists of new enterprises . his capacity is apprehensiue in a strange measure : if he were lesse capable , he might be more commended . for hee incroaches often vpon admittance ( where things be well delivered ) to multiply his obseruation : and yet hee will verifie the thing , as if it were now committed . if hee converts to a deserving qualitie , hee will propound the credit of a good meaning no stipend for his vaine discoueries . till then , he must intreate to be suspected , or odious , whilst he whispers closely among free companions : neither must he hope to amend the age , or himselfe ; because he never intended the first ; and the last he forgets ( though he intended it ) through vaine glory ; as being transported with his pride onely , that he hath observed , and can obserue againe . briefly , he resembles a foolish patient , who takes a costiue pill to loosen his body : for whilst hee meanes to purge himselfe by observing other humors , hee practises them by a shadow of mockage , and so becomes a more fast corruption : if he doth not therefore feele the disease , hee dies hide-bound . ( *** ) charact : xii . a parish polititian is machiavels mungrell puppy ; taken from schoole before he hath learned true latine ; and therfore in triviall things onely , hee partakes with the sire ; because he lackes true breeding , and true bringing vp . hee labours commonly for opinion where he is so well knowne , that opinion would persecute him , without labour : he thinkes religion deceiues most vnsuspected ; and therefore hee seemes to be a zealous christian. the church is a principall part of his devotion ; and to bee a frequent auditor , or outwardly attentiue , is a sure defence ( hee thinkes ) against capitall errour . hee is openly kinde-hearted ; cries god forbid , amen , christ bee his comfort . but rather then hee will seeme a puritan , with indifferent companions , hee can breake an obscoene iest , bee wanton , sociable , or any thing , till hee converse with a precisian by whom he hopes to saue : then the eyes roule vpward , the hands be elevated , commiserating tearmes bee multiplied , with sighes innumerable : then hee railes against the wicked , whom a little before hee heartilie saluted . and after some paraphrase vpon the verse of such an evangelist , apostle , or prophet , hee dismisses the puritan , that himselfe may laugh in a corner . his minde and memorie put on the same vizard of greatnesse , which makes him so much incline to the posture of weighty labours , that he giues no attention to things openly recited , though they actually possesse him . to be imploid therefore for a noble man , is ( to him ) an infinite trouble , and begets imployment with all acquaintance to discover it : so the bare meanes to make men think hee is much entertained , costs a time equall to his occurrents . being to bee visited ( though by sure clients ) he hath the roome of attendance , the art of delay , and a visage that seemes pittifully interrupted . if he rides to dispatch , the horses be early sadled , and brought to the doore , that neighbours may obserue ; when , after fiue or sixe houres expectation , hee comes like one that was detained by vrgent importunacies . his best materials to worke vpon , bee time , and place ; which , if they affoord circumstance to let you vnderstand his new purchase , his new buildings , the great marriage of his children , or entertainement of high personages , or bountie towards the hospitall , it comes freely and fitly , if openly . when occasions trouble him a little , he loues to trouble himselfe extreamly ; and thinkes it a poynt of ●eaching policie , to reproue or amend that formally , which hath beene allowed by singular good iugdements . if hee dares ( with priviledge of the hearers ignorance ) disparage worth in any , hee takes leaue of the occasion , and his owne policie . this he takes in honor of his courtship to shew he can bee ambitious , and build on others ruines : but this proclaimes him a starved cannibal ; who , through the famine of desert , feeds his worthinesse with his owne excrement of detraction . his desire and audacitie be at open strife . when he would , but dares not commend himselfe , by correcting anothers facultie : then with a straind laughter , and a willing palsie in his head , he seemes to discover somwhat is vnsetled ; or he makes his elbow signifie , that somthing wants his finger . his complements be at liberty , his friendship lies locked vp in prison ; the key whereof he hath lost willingly . for if you call him friend before hee hath wrested the advantage of an enemy , hee leaues you destitute , but more happy then you beleeue . if hee can seeme to forget your countenance , hee intends that you must thinke him deuoted to things aboue you , or that his braine labours : and vpon this ground he walkes when he neglects your salutations , or takes no notice of your person . briefly , he is a man of this daies profit ; he expects nothing without double interest , and that by compulsion . hee is a weake foe , a weaker friend , or the generall shadow of a wiser man. charac. xiii . a spend-thrift is a man euer needy , neuer satisfied , but ready to borrow more then he may be trust-à with : the question of him will be , whether his learning doth out-ballance his braine , and so becomes a burthen ; or whether both bee crept into his outward senses : certainely his intellectuals of wit , and wisedome , be manifest , but are ( like the seuen starres ) seldome seene together ; they mutually succeed , as hauing vow'd to gouerne by course : whilst wit reignes , excesse , and royot haue the vpper hand : but when he recollects himselfe , hee is wholy metamorphosed ; wit giues place , and his extreme of wisedome , disclaimes the smile of a merrie countenance . his onely ioy is to domineere , be often saluted , and haue many creditors : his lordships lie among the drawers , tobacco-men , brokers , and panders : but aduersity makes him leaue company , and fall to house-keeping , and then his seruants be vanished into sergeants . his onely flatterers bee conceite and fancy , which charge memory his steward , to bring in no accompts till they bee casheerd ; which cannot bee whilst imitation is his captain , or credit his corporall . hee dreames of being lord chiefe iustice , or at least being eminent , though hee liues dissolutely ; and hath no saint but fortune . hee is , and euer will be a quarter behind with frugality ; in which volume he cannot be perfect , because the booke is imperfect : for he still rendes out the beginning of his lesson . his heauen vpon farth , is a faire mistresse ; and though his meanes be l●rge , yet his principall sorrow is the lacke of maintenance . the misery of his sense is an old man , and his fathers life troubles him not a little : almanackes therefore which foretell the death of age , be very acceptable . the hurly burly of his braine is infinite , and he scarcely knowes what hee may freely make an election of . his worst bawd is too good a nature , which makes him incident to false applauses , and carue his soule out among his famil●ars : hee hath multitudes of deere acquaintance , but his deerest friends are ready to stabbe him . for either those whom hee accompts so , be men of fashion ; or those who be indeed so , desire his death , because they see no amendment . he scornes to acknowledge his debts , but as things of duety , with which mechanicks are ( as he thinkes ) bound to vphold high birth and gentry : but the end proues otherwise . his downefall therefore is not admired , because hee was euer falling ; and his bare excuse , makes experience the shadow . briefly , he may seeme a treacherous friend ; for he deales dishonestly with all that challenge interest in him ; they be his creditors : and yet hee deales more louingly with them , then with himselfe ; for when he paies them , he punisheth himselfe : if he cannot pay , hee is punished more then they ; and punished enough , because he cannot pay : for then he consumes . charact . xiiii . a vbiquitarie is a iourney-man of all trades , but no sauer because no s●tter vp : he would be an epitome of artes , and all things , but is indeed nothing lesse then himselfe : if an itchy tailor gaue him not his making , he had ( i thinke ) perpetually beene vnmade : for if he scratch his head , the body cals him ; if the body , then the elbow ; if his elbow , then againe the body ; if the body , then the head itches : so neuer quiet , neuer constant , still doing , stil about to do the same , remaines my doer doing nothing . the worst of dog-daies was his birth-day when fleas abounded , which ( ●rom his cradle ) haue so bitten him , as till his death he must be tickled . the worme of giddinesse hath crept into his priuate purposes : euery houre , almost , giues him a new being , or , at least , the purpose to be an other thing then he is . if a coūtry l●fe inuites him he yeelds : the court request him , he yeelds likewise : but then disgrace auerts him to his study ; a library is gotten : by this time loue hath strucke him , and hee adores the saint : but then some play declaimes against this loue ; hee quickly is perswaded , and followes poetry . thus my vagabond of vanity is from post to pillar transport● , because hee trauels without a perfect licēce . you shall soone discerne him by his arguments and reasons ; they ( for the principals ) flow from one fountaine of ignorance : for all his proofe depends vpon i thinke so ; euery man saith so : all dislike it : his very conuersation is infectious , but neuer frustrate : for either you must follow him , and that way you must looke to be a looser : or he will follow you , and then resolue that your intētiō thriues but badly . no obiect , no society , season , thought , or language , comes amisse , or vnexpected , his pollicy therefore seekes to be rather frequent then effectuall ; to run about the world daily , then trauell seriously ; to see a multitude , before society ; and gesse at much , rather then know a little . in his discourse hee daunces all trades ; and flies from field to thicket , as being hunted by an ignis fatuus . talke of academies , and hee tels you court-newes ; canuase the state of your question , and hee tels you what new booke is extant . if you discourse , hee still desires the conclusion ; and is attentiue rather to the sequele , then carefull to vnderstand the premisses . in his behauiour hee would seeme french , italian , spanish , or any thing , so he may seeme vn-vulgar ; accounting it barbarous not to contemne his owne nation , or the common good ; because he loues to bee more valued by seeming singularly pretious : his habite onely discouers him to be true english : and to be weary of the place , colours his emploiment : to liiie ( with him ) is all vanity , and that life alone his deerest happinesse : his death therefore may bee somewhat doubtfull , because with it hee hath no beeing . charac. xv. a gamester is fortunes vassaile , temptations anuile , or an out-landish text which may soone be translated into cheaters english : he affects gaming from a schoole-boy ; and superstitiously fore-thinkes how his minde giues him . the elements of fire , earth , and aire , be with him alike predominant ; he i● in●●●med with rage , melancholy with thoughts , iouiall with fortune ; but hee neuer we●●●● in sorrow or repentance : when he looses little , you must ●now he looses much , for hee loues tha● any man should coniecture he is able : and though his luck be infinite to win aboundance , yet could hee neuer haue the luck to purchase . if he quarrel● you may protest hee looses , ●nd he must scr●mble or be bea●e●●re hee can bee quiet : if hee make peace you must meet him ●n the winning way , and then you might more safely swagger with him : he loues his owne aduantage well enough to bee a lawyer , but would make a most preposterous iudge : the seuen deadly sinnes sleepe in his pocket , and he neuer drawes money but the noise awakes them . pride , lechery , drunkennesse , and gluttony , bee his sabboth sinnes , which ( out of gettings ) he employes on festiuals , and sundaies . blasphemy and murther play the drawers with him , and bring the fearefull reckoning of his losses ; and insteed of vsury , theft plaies the scriuener to furnish him with money : he can both fast , and watch , and yet is farre enough from being a true penitent ; for curses following , do discouer why the rest was intended . fortune makes him her most silly states-man : shee holds him by the chinne a while , but ere hee can recouer what he onely wishes , hee sinkes incontinent , and worthily ; for losse and gaine alike encourage him , but neuer satisfie . if he plaies vpon ticket , hee knowes you are but a simple fellow not able to exact , though he resolues to pay nothing ; so he did neuer purchase , if not this way , except he borrowes ; and that extends farre enough to make him the debtor at his owne pleasure . if he be perished , his restauration is to famine , though not degenerate ; for seeing he was ruind vnder the goddesse fortune , he may well claime the portion of a rich widdow . if neither shee , nor any shee-creature else be gratious ; let him vnpittied proue a cheater , for he thrust himselfe to exile , and went to willing bondage . charact . xvi . a nouice is one still ready to aske the way , yet farre from finding it , though you do direct him : he is indeed a simple thing of one and twenty , that dares safely be a pupill to any tutor . or take him naturally for a familiar kind of spaniell , that may be readily taken vp , and stolne away from himselfe , or his best resolutions . hee is euer haunted with a blushing weakenesse , and is as willing to embrace any , as not to be distastfull vnto any : he trusts any mans opinion before his owne , and will commit his life to him that can insinuate ; you get acquaintance with him by a bare salutation ; drinke to him with a new complement , and you haue purchased his entire loue , till hee bee cheated . the name of country-man , or ciuill carriage , vnlockes his cabinet of intentions , till you extract the very quintessence . he cannot chuse but be exceeding credulous , for he confutes nothing further then his eye-sight , or common sense extends . draw him to the paradise of taking all in good part ; or teach him to apprehend the worst things well , by screwing in a meere conceit of your generosity , and he wilthrust the ward-ship of his credit , lands , or body , to your patronage : so you may take reliefe , and tender marriage , though his father held not in knights seruice . if you misdoubt he should perceiue you , or if you thinke it difficult to deceiue him ; compare his title with his index , o● both together with his stuffe contained , and you may soone discerne him : for either vnexpectedly he doth betray himselfe ; or false fire doth discharge him . being a little boulstred vp with sweete heresies of subtill language , and musicall tauernes , he suddenly beginnes ( except some charitable hand reclaimes him ) to mistake tobacco for a precious hearbe ; and oftentimes i thinke it cures his raw humour , by operation of the price , without the physicke . you may easily also driue him to mistake brown paper for littletons tenures ; canuas , and red herrings , for his fathers hoppe-bagges and lent prouision . i need not say hee will be valorous ; for parasites and cony-catchers know , he oftentimes can see hee hath beene cheated , and yet his modesty will not suffer him to enforce satisfaction . hee will much wonder at a triuiall euent , and thinkes it witch-craft to foresee disaduantage . as for the world , religion , or naturall causes , he can enquire of them , but difficultly beleeue reason : in the shutting vp therfore of his folly he doth confesse the character , and leaues it to succession . charac. xvii . an epicure is the picture of some-body , or a man of two senses : the eye and the palate : for his smelling propertie is stuffed with the vapours of a full stomacke ; his hands the instruments of his mouth , no senses ; and the belly hath no cares , but a trusse to support it : he is his owne taylor , and thinkes directly that more expences belong to the linings , then to the out-side . he cannot stirre in businesse without a coach , or a litter ; and then he is suddenly interrupted , if the clocke strikes eleven . hee is ( whatsoever some think ) a good physitian for his owne body ; for he still riseth from the table with an appetite , and is soone re●dy for another meale of dainties . if hee bee a lawyer , the b●●t meates will soonest corrupt his carkasse , and his conscience : for he feeds immode●●tely , and will doe much for ● brace of pheasants . if he bee a divine , he preaches all charity , and discommends gentlemen extreamely , because they leaue house-keeping . he thinkes his bed the best study , and therefore speakes wel in the praise of stretching meditations . he accounts cookery a delicate science , and preferres the knowledge of confectionary receipts ; to which purpose nothing passes through the throate , till he takes particular notice of the ingredients . he is troubled much to thinke , how he may most readily shorten his life , and not perceiue the reason : therefore he revolues continually , what may be most convenient for the tast , and hurtfull for the stomake . he invites himselfe to much provender by accident of visitation ; though hee comes with a resolved policie : and hee provokes many solemne meetings , vnder the title of hospitalitie , when hee makes himselfe ( by these meanes ) fitter for an hospitall . hee is contented to bestow broken meate among poore folkes , but no money : for he loues not to depart with that , in which himselfe hath beene no taster . he is the noted foe of famine , and yet he is daily imploied about the procreation of a dearth : for the value of nothing is beyond his abilitie , if he hath present money , though no more then enough to discharge the present commoditie ; or credite to make men trust vpon executors . hee hath heightned the price of out-landish-fruits , and hath purchased the generall name to our countrey of sweet-mouth'd english-men . marrow-pies , potato-rootes , eringoes , and a cup of sacke be his chiefest restoratiues , and comfortable physicke : he makes no dinner without a second course . he is over-ruled more by his teeth , then his appetite : for when they grow weary , he leaues feeding , and falles to drinking : which argues ( vnlesse i mistake ) a larger capacity of stomack then vnderstanding . he keeps a principall poynt of statelinesse in carriage ; for he delights rather in a subtill flatterer , or secretary , that giues good el-bow attendance , then to heare himselfe discourse , or any who neglects to feed his humor ; either with commendations , or voiling reverence to his high fortunes , or with licentious fables , and derisions of his opposites . if dinner bee ended , and you desire to converse with him , you must tarry till he be awake : for his vast chaire , a downy couch , and chiefly a fine capable seat in the church , that may confront the preacher , or be situate behinde some pillar , are three easie and common receptacles for his full stomack . none resembles death so fitly , yet none makes lesse morall : his sleepe therefore which proues him rotten and stinking aliue , proues rather death it selfe , then a remembrance . briefly , being true english , hee will abhorre thirst , and hunger , because hee scornes a spaniard and his properties . charact . xviii . a churle is the sup●rfluity of solemne behauiour : and was intended for an allay to fif●y light louiall constitutions ; but * nature being then otherwise employed , hee was ( against her will ) made a monstrous lump of humanity ; through the negligence of her hand-maids , or the malice of her enemies bad education and nutriment . hee is the vnsociable sonne of saturne , that lookes strangely at the face of man , as if hee were another thing then himselfe . he thinkes , to be familiar is to betray himselfe ; and that the world might plentifully be inhabited , by him onely , and a couple of drudges . if you be ciuill , he saith you are phantastick ; and friendly language he termes flattery . no estate , no aduancement , can remoue his humour : for hee doth not liue ( whilst he liues not discontented ) but sleepes , or counterfeits . he thinkes salutations were ordained to beguile , or betray ; hee loues not therefore to salute , or be saluted . hee will refuse gifts , that come from reconciled foes , and thinkes an iniury can neuer be forgotten . on equall termes likewise , he is heartily vnwilling to receiue , except ( in glory ) he can ouer-value his deserts , by thinking he hath deserued tenne times more . a selfe-respect , and a disdaine of others , be his nourishing vices : so he chuses rather to loose a bargaine , then to become a debtor ; for he holds it more honour and pollicy to steale , then to be beholding . if you enquire his health , or the times newes , hee dares protest you are an impertinent , or a shallow companion . other mens triumph is his sorrow , other mens sorrow his triumph : for in his conscience he hath reioyced never , if not in mis-fortunes of some , or all . his owne adversitie quickens him to reioyce at others misery . he cannot therefore bee saved , seeing he admits company as a delight , in nothing but desolation : and then , not their company , but their passion . his entertainments be , a fierce dogge to bid you welcome , a currish voyce to confirme it , and the way is open for a fare-well . the two first be apparant , the latter hee intends : so doth he embrace acquaintance or neighbours ; but impotent people he threatens in another kinde with whippe , stockes , and beadle , they onely be his familiars and defenders . his dogge , and hee , are the onely good fellowes ; and his dogge proues the better man , by being more tractable . he will prevent you in a commoditie , and giue more ; as also , hee dares discredit any thing , or any , not with a meaning to commend his owne , but to endammage others . he will bee shaven all wayes to the best helpe of a deformitie : and though his actions will soone verifie the character , yet he will more mis-shape nature by ill-favoured linnen , a greasie felt , and garments made for the purpose ; as if hee meant to discover himselfe by the fore-head , least hee should not be knowne quickly . he is satisfied vpon the smallest wrong , and will rather take the lawes assignment , though a trifle , then be content with large composition : yet none doth more grumble against the law-professors . he listens to the death of great personages , as a butchers dogge to the oxes slaughter ; reioycing to be glutted with his entrailes , or vices , seeing hee is not bettred by his body of worth , the best food . it fattens him to heare a prodigalls consumption , though hee partakes nothing in the ●ootie . if you fasten a gift vpon him , his thankes bee liberall , though he doth not requite : if hee doth not brand you with an insinuating title ; yet in extremitie of his passion he is so farre ( as hee thinkes ) from being vncharitable , as he makes the charitie of counsell , purse , or assistance , things that would giue little thanke for his labour : and so he practises them vnder the ranke of such things as doe not concerne him : he saith therefore , meddle with me , when i meddle with you . so that if shame provokes his wealth to invite strangers , he hath no bountifull meaning , but a resolution to liue by broken meate long after , which doth not savour well , except it be mouldy : that , and himselfe therefore , should be spent sooner ; otherwise they grow visibly odious , but himselfe more odious then that . charac. xix . an atheist is no reasonable man : for hee will sooner embrace a superficiall colour in things of momēt , then search into direct causes : as for obvious and common accidents , he never looks vpon them so much with reason , as vpon matters of course . in subtilties he is bestiall ; for hee admits no more then event ; and he is therfore no reasonable man , because no religious man. for heathens and barbarians haue from the beginning beene worshippers of somwhat . if thou canst seeme to bee familiar with him , and enter into the extremities of ill fortune , or begin to speake of great mens funerals , or honest mens persecutions , hee will instantly discover what he beleeues , being bold enough to speak plainly ( if thou canst apprehend ) that vertue , innocence , and craftie dealing be alike rewarded : that wicked and religious men haue no difference but the name : that wrongs may lawfully ( if without danger apparant ) bee repelled with worse wrongs : and that therefore it argues basenesse of spirit , to contemne any opportunity of advantage : that expectation of other , where ioy is already present , were dotage , or madnesse ; and that honesty , which exceeds common forme , is singularity . from which arguments you may draw the conclusion . if he reserues these precepts among strangers , his practise will verifie the paterne . take this for a foundation , euery atheist is an epicure , though the one is not controvettible . if he inclines more to epicurisme then policie ; this watch-word will be frequent in his cups , hoc est vivere , hoc est vivere . but you may stil obserue , that he cōtends to wash away all care with company , discourse & laughter , as if he knew his vsurious creditor ( a guiltie conscience ) waited to expostulate with him at an advantage . one therefore of this proportion , is more liable to the law , but lesse dangerous to the common-wealth . hee brings most villany that feeles the disease inward ; and confutes his own obiectiōs with falacious doctrines . he liues much about the fountain of iniquitie , and therfore he must propound that those streames of custome be tolerable , or leaue his profession . he hath a natural flourish for super-naturall accidents . he turnes diuinity into colorable inuentions of philosophy . he knows every thing vnder the name of a naturall body : hee beleeues nature to be an invisible power , which intended generation for corruption , and corruption for generation . he distinguishes bodies into simple and compound , and makes creation a vulgar proiect obedient to the harmony of elements . then , if he knowes the meaning of homogenea , and hetrogenea , of corpus imperfctè mixtū , and perfectè mixtū , he remaines largely satisfied . as for the causes of terrible events , he apprehends the power of exhalations , meteors , comets , & the antiperistasis : which very names are able to forbid all further inquisition . he goes not therfore beyond himselfe for his authority : and he esteemes it more convenient to think there is a reason in nature , then to trouble his braine with miracles , when they exceed his positions . hee never was taken for a friend in society , neither can he bestow loue , because cause hee cannot adventure his person . if at any time hee intended loue , he intended likewise a physitian ; and him , no further then agreed with his owne humidum radicale : which must also be vnderstood , if himselfe were no physitian . he is alwayes consident beyond reformation . hee dies with hope betweene his iawes , and therefore one may thinke him no desperate slaue ; but such hope deceiues him , because he hopes to liue longer . charact . xx. a lyar is a tame foxe ; hunted vp and down , often for pleasure , often against his will. arithmetick is in him a natural vice , or at least the principall parts of the science : for he can both substract & multiply with more ease then speake true english : he may as well be a trades-man of any sort by his professiō , ●s a knight of the post , or a man-pleaser . he should ( by his qualities ) be a good gamester ; for the one is iust in league with a voluntary ignorance , or any inforced knowledge , as much as the other : hee neuer offends this way , but he offends double ; for he cannot with credit , or knowledge of the art military , thinke it sufficient to defend with bare affirmance , & the wals of circūuention , except his cannōothes be ready planted and discharged . he is not guilty of his own vice alone ; for seldom doth he auouch it , which his confederate wil not iustifie : & therfore he prouides adherents for security : his cōmō misery is wel known , it persecuts him with diuine iustice for all his truth'is extraordinarie , winne no beleife ; because no false-hoods are so frequent . any aduantage accruing to himselfe prouokes his faculty ; though sometimes a friends loue intices him to strange aduentures . if neither the first nor second bee opportune , he so labours onely to beget wonderfull narrations . hee is ready enough to ouer-value himselfe , his friends , and his commodity : accounting it a pollitick straine to set an excellent faire glosse on all ; that hee may purchase the reputation of a large estate : which seemes to argue an innocent vpright course , not fearing tyranny : but indeed he doth ( from hence ) deceiue the world and die a beggar , through the foregoing estimation . hee tels no wonder , without some preparatiue : as namely , he admits before hand what may be : or he begins thus : you may thinke it is a lie : or , it will seeme strange , but i protest before god , it is very true : or the like : but if hee bee one that maintaines ordinaries and publick meetings ; he speakes altogether vpon credible report ; and you shall be the third man partakes of the nouelty : for hee hath alwaies talked with one , that was an eye-witnesse : if hee were not himselfe the agent or beholder . he may at his electition be admitted into the colledge of iesuites , but hee loues not to forsake his country , though he boasts of trauailes ; and yet he is a meere fugitiue . he was originally intended for a rhetorician ; and lackes onely a little instruction : for hee is more conuersant with tropes then figures ; and yet the figure of repetition , is his owne naturall . attention makes thee very much culpable in his reports : beliefe makes thee apt to erre in the same kind . he is more confident ( if hee could be vncased ) in the rare exploits of rosaclere , and delphoebo , amadis de gaule , or parismus , then the most holy text of scripture . if hee should striue for antiquity , no english generation can compare with him : and yet hee needes no herald , for hee deriues his pedigree immediately from the deuill . charact : xxi . a drunkard is in opinion a good fellow , in practice a liuing conduit . hee is at all points armed for a knight errant , and cald vpon for aduentures , euery way as full of hazard . this makes him enter boldly into the lyons , or the greene dragons caue ; into the white beares iawes , the mermaids closets , the sunnes palace ; nay , more into the deuils chamber of presence . and for his trauailes let the globe witnesse ; through euery corner of which , he hath or can walke at his pleasure . freedome hee challenges , and therefore scornes to be a tedious customer , till by enforcement , hee drinkes vpon record : otherwise he shifts his watring place ; either to auoid his lowse , the baylife ; or to renew his fountaine : the last onely pleades for his commendation , because hee proceedes still from worse to better : which discommends him most , because it nourishes his facultie . the torment of his eye-sight is a frothy tapster , or a sluggish drawer with a deceitfull po● . the plagues of his palat be good wines , where he cannot purchase , nor be trusted : or a taverne well furnished , that ioynes to the prison doore : they vexe him , as a feast vexes the famished , in a strong castle : or a lambe the starued foxe , when mas●ifes be awake . he never disallowes religion for putting lent in the almanack : for tobacco , a rasher , and red herrings , his instruments of relish , bee at all times perhibited . hee hath a cheape course of breake-fasts , to auoide dinners ; which at his pleasure he can spare , through morning antidotes : the inquisition of these he studies , and looses by the knowledge . hee indifferently concludes , and beginnes quarrels : that quality neither much blames nor praises him . opportunity hee embraces , but in a bad sense : for he is rather studious to follow any mans calling then his owne . his nose the most innocent , beares the corruption of his other senses folly ; from it may bee gathered the embleme of one falsely scandald : for it not offending , is ●olourably punished . it serues therefore for nothing but such an embleme , except to proue the owners great innocence , by how much it is the greater : his eminent seeming vertues be his peculiar vices : for his casting vp expences , and his wisedome ouer the pot , be his vnthriftinesse , and folly : hee were vtterly base , if vnable to defend his habite : you shall therefore know him by his arguments . if hee inclines to scholler-ship , they be these : first , to abandon melancholy ; for care , hee faith , kils a cat : then to auoide mischieuous thoughts ; for hee that drinkes well , sleepes well , and hee that sleeps well thinks no harme : the weaknes of which may be soone confuted , because he staggers in the argument . his teeth be strongest , because least employed . hence you ●ay take the embleme of one truely miserable ; who abounds in profites , which he doth not vse . a beggar , and he are both of one stock , but the beggar claimes antiquity : the beggar did drinke that he might beg , & hath his meaning : the other drinkes that he may beg , & shal haue the true mening shortly . in the degree of beggars it is thought he wil turne dummerer ; he practises already , & is for that purpose many times taken speechlesse . if he goes out in the morning a libertine or free-man , he returns at night a prisoner , if he doth return : for he cannot returne safely without his keeper : otherwise , he converts suddenly frō flesh to fish , & diues into the mud , or swims in his own water . these together proue fasting-nights to be his naturall season . whilst he is waking , he purges all secrets ; least i therefore by keeping him awake longer , should erre in the same kinde , i haue now cast him into a dead sleepe . charac. xxii . a begging scholler is an artificiall vagabond : hee tooke his first degree ( as wee may imagine ) in the vniuersity : but he neuer thinkes himselfe a full graduate ; till by cosmographicall science , he suruey the degrees of longitude , and latitude , belonging to most of our famous citties in england : so he becomes practitioner in the mathematickes , though hee pretends diuinity by order of commencement , which might bee a safe licence among diuers ; if the statute vouchsafed not to take notice of his roguery . he hath from the first houre of his matriculation inherited the name of sharke , by way of a generall dependance in the colledge : but being perhaps expulsed , or departing in a hungry humor , he trauels with a prompt memory , insteed of other knowledge ; and aboue all things he is wise enough for himselfe , to remember his wants . hee neuer looked into diuinity beyond the meaning of two sermons ; and vpon those he hath insisted so often , that he feeles no need of another library : he still pretends ( like some single physitian ) the cure of one disease , that is , the cold of charity , and therefore ( his charitable aduise being ended ) a bill of receipt followes for the ingredients : but the disease may be thought to grow more desperate through the mistaken cure ; because the medicine is applied vnfitly . his helpe extends farre and neere to fugitiue raga-muffians , vnder the signe of impotent souldiers , or wandring abraham-men ; but his helpe proues the maintenance of their function , because it proues his owne , by occasion : for being receiued as a secretary to the counsell of vagrants , hee conceals much idle property , in aduantage of himselfe and country-men , not of the common-wealth . if you would priuately know him ; you must know likewise , the iourney to his friends hath beene tediously vndertaken ; and whilst hee brings his mony in question , you must know he begges for an answere , and so betrayes the doubt of sufficiency : howsoeuer ( in publick ) he insinuates a depriuation ; by being too sufficient . being admitted ( for hospitality sake ) to receiue lodging ; he hath a slight of hand , or cleanely conueiance , which threaten siluer spoones ; and leaues a desperate sorrow among all the houshold seruants , because he departed so soone . in the space of a naturall day he seldome trauailes further then to the next ale-house ; that so by degrees he may approach to a great market vpon the sabboth . he paies for what he takes continually , one way or other : for being no customer , he cannot bee trusted , except in case of necessity ; and then he paies them experience to beware of such as he another time . he hath learning to propound the apostles president for trauailes , but conscience litle enough to look any further . if his family be not portable , it comes in the rereward , and awaites his returne to the rendevouze : if otherwise he be attēded with neither wife , nor maide-seruant ; he makes vse of both , as hee finds himselfe able : hee is sometime inducted by a simple patron , to some more simple vicarage ; but his tithes and credit concluding in haruest , he takes his slight with the swallow : he cannot therefore thriue among the promoted begging schollers , because hee hath no continuance . ( *** ) ( ⸫ ) the second booke of characters . charact . i. a iaylor is the beggars body-lowse , which liues vpon the bloud and carcase of thē which can worst spare any : he proceeds commonly from such a one , as could not gouerne himselfe , to gouerne others imperiously : he cannot thinke of a place , more sutable with the safe practise of his villany : no , not among the roarers , or the company of quack-saluers : a thiefe , & a murtherer , be the names which make him iron mad , whiles himselfe proues the more exquisite offender : and if formerly he hath bin infamous among al , it proues felicity with him now to insult over some , & growes the more implacable . at his first inductiō , he begins ( like al new officers ) to reform methodically : neither doth he spare to diuulge ( with oftentation ) the marrow of his deerest policies : he may very wel seeme a bountiful host , for he detaines his customers whether they will or no : but his bounty retireth , whē he looseth aduantage . he is a true alchymist , no dreamer in that science : nor the best proficient hath thriu'd better in his proiections : he doth indeed familiarly ( by vertue of his stone-wals , without the philosphers stone ) cōuert rusty iron into perfect siluer : he makes men beleeue , that the poore captiues shall work in daily labor to get a liuing : whiles his coniecture is verified in their nightly labor , by working throgh the enclosure ; or being idle they get liuings too many : if he perceiues an opē obiect of increase , he wil himselfe work the meanes of disorder by plētiful liquor , that so a large fine may redeeme the quarrell : to which purpose he doth sophisticate his fuming beere , to breed a skirmish the sooner : & then the dungeon is a dreadfull word , vntill a cōpetent bribe pacify his humor . nothing makes him so merry as a harsh mittimus , & a potēt captiue : they come like an inscriptiō with a fat goose against new-yeares-tide : but baile sounds a sorrowfull retrait : as if the inferiour thiefe should loose a booty by composition : and yet he will take his wiues suretiship for the more extent of liberty , because hee knowes her perfect in the instructions of that alchymie . hee is a circumspect companion , and still dreames of an escape : and of a breaking forth hee may well dreame , having so many putrified sores in one body ; but seldome do any escape in his debt , though at their breaking out , they be a weeke behinde : for aboue one weeke he never trusts ; and not so long , vnlesse the former aduantage wil recompence a fortnights arrerages . briefly , hee is in a manner the diuels huntsman , who keepes those beagles either for castigation , because they were not cunning enough , else for amendment of the chace . for if he sends them forth , they proue graduates , when they escape the gallowes . as for himselfe , you may either meet him in the midst of carrowses among his customers , or riding post in melancholy , to re-imparke his wilde runnagates . charac. ii. an informer is a protected cheater , or a knaue in authoritie , licenced by authority : he sprang from the corruption of other mens dishonesty ; and meetes none so intricately vitious , but hee can match the paterne : which makes him free of all trades by the statute : for this giues him a freedome to survey all besides himselfe . he is a fellow as much beholding to his fiue senses , as to his intellectuals : he can diversly imploy all his senses about diverse obiects ; but commonly they are all occupied about one or two chiefly : the winding vp of a iack is better then musicke to his cares in lent : the steame of a roasted ioynt attracts his nostrils vnsatiably : the sight of a shoulder of mutton then feeds his stomacke ; but the taste and feeling of it , provokes him to a dreadfull insultation . he is worse then an otter-hound for a diue-dopping ale-house-keeper : and hunts him out vnreasonably from his element of liquor ; and yet he may seeme reasonable honest , for he hearkens readily to a composition . but whilst he consents to saue men harmlesse ( vpon tearmes indifferent ) he makes open way for another of his coat to incroach vpon the like premises . victuallers therefore find no relaxation by his oath or assistance ; though they shold meet with more trouble , if he did not assist them . arbitremēts be besides his calling : but if he be held sit to be an arbibitrator , he will haue a sure hand in the businesse . for if he be trusted to keepe the pledge of their reconcilement , the pledge must be his , whilst they are reconciled at their own peril . he comes alwaies with a serious countenāce to deiected ale-men , and promiseth restauration with an exchequer licence to vex the iustices : whilst hee takes forty shillings , three pound , or vpward for a single sub-poena , to defend the liquor-man ; who incurres new charges by trusting in the apparant cousenage . he takes away the relation betwixt a lawyer and his client ; and makes it generally extend to the clearkes in offices ; vnder whose safegard hee hath his licence seal'd to travaile : a foot-post and he differ in the discharge of their packet , and the payment : for the informer is content to tarry the next tearme ( perhappes ) till a iudgement . his profession affoords practisers both great and small ; both bucke-hounds and harriers : the essence of both is inquisitiō . but the first is a more thriving and ancient stocke of hatred : for he is a kinde of antiquarie : the last is seldome medling with men much aboue him : howsoever , sometimes he is casually the scourge of an ignorant iustice. charac. iii. abase mercenary poet is the most faithfull obsequious seruant of him that giues most : he subscribes his definition to all dedicatory epistles . if mother-wit raisd him to be a writer , he shewes himselfe a dutifull childe , and begges poems in defence of nature : neither can hee choose but betray himselfe to be a cosset , by his odde frisking matter , and his apish titles : which may perswade any reasonable man , that he studies more to make faces , then a decent carriage . if he haue learnt lillies grammer , and a peece of ouids metamorphosis , he thinkes it time to aske his patrons blessing with some worke that savours very much of the authors meaning , and two or three latine sentences . if he hath seene the vniversity , and forsaken it againe , because he felt no deserts which might chalenge a benefactor : then he calles every man ( besides his patron ) a despiser of learning , and he is wonderfull angry with the world ; but a brace of angels will pacifie his humour . if hee be an expulsed graduate , hee hath beene conversant so long with rules of art , that hee can expresse nothing without the art of begging , or publicke sale : but commonly hee is some swimming-headed clarke , who after he hath spent much time in idle sonners , is driven to seeke the tune of silver , to make vp his consort . necessity and covetous hire , bribe his invention , but cannot corrupt his conscience : for though hee vndertakes more then hee is able , yet hee concludes within expectation of others that know him , and so hee deceiues himselfe onely . hee will never forfeite his day to necessitie , if hee writes by obligation ; but hee never payes backe the principall to his authour : which happens divers times when hee is the scriuener and the debtor : for the tide of one pamphlet beeing vented at his elbowes , with leaning vpon taverne-tables ; hee tyes himselfe to certaine limites ; within which precinctes hee borrowes much , translates much , coynes much , converting all to his proiect : and if matter failes , hee flyes vpon the lawyer , or flatters his obiect : but hee never becomes so excellent , that the creditor of his invention , may thinke it a dignitie to haue had such a debtor : and therefore hee payes backe nothing . his apologies discover his shifting cousenage : for he attributes the vices of his quill to the ages infirmitie ; which endures nothing but amorous delights , close bawdry , or mirthfull studied iests : as if the ignorance of any age could hinder a wise mans propositions . hee is a traded fellow , though hee seemes a scholler : but is never free of the company , or accepted , till hee hath drunke out his apprentise-hood among the grand masters , and then with an vnivocall consent , hee may commend his wares , turne them into the fashion , and dresse over his old pamphlets , to incroach vpon the buyer . he presumes much vpon absolute good meanings , though the text bee palpable : and yet where hee commends himselfe best , hee is not refractorie : for hee still promises amendment , or some more voluminous worke , to gratifie his benefactors ; but hee could never liue long enough to finish his miracles . but hee is much indebted to the favour of ladies , or at least seemes to haue been graciously rewarded : if he affects this humour , hee extolls their singular iudgement before he meddles with his matter in question : and so selles himselfe fictitiously to the worlds opinion . if his handes bee no more actiue then his head , hee is guiltie of many a good scribes idlenesse , by making that legible , which ( before trans-scription ) might haue been tolerable folly . if you be therefore an honest , or generous patron , suffer him not to bee printed . charac. iiii. a common player is a slow payer , seldome a purchaser , never a puritan . the statute hath done wisely to acknowledge him a rogue : for his chiefe essence is , a dayly counterfeite : hee hath been familiar so long with out-sides , that hee professes himselfe , ( beeing vnknowne ) to bee an apparant gentleman . but his thinne felt , and his silke stockings , or his foule linnen , and faire doublet , doe ( in him ) bodily reveale the broaker : so beeing not sutable , hee proues a motley : his minde obseruing the same fashion of his body : both consist of parcells and remnants : but his minde hath commonly the newer fashion , and the newer stuffe : hee would not else hearken so passionatly after new tunes , new trickes , new devises : these together apparrell his braine and vnderstanding , whilest hee takes the materialls vpon trust , and is himselfe the taylor to take measure of his soules liking . if hee cannot beleeue , hee doth coniecture strongly ; but dares not resolue vpon particulars , till he hath either spoken , or heard the epilogue ; vnlesse he be prevented : neither dares hee entitle good things good , vnlesse hee bee heartned on by the multitude : till then , hee saith faintly what hee thinkes , with a willing purpose to recant or persist : so howsoever he pretends to haue a royall master , or mistresse , his wages and dependance proue him to bee the servant of the people . the cautions of his iudging humour ( if hee dares vndertake it ) bee a certaine number of lying iests against the common lawyer ; hansome conceits against the fine courtiers ; delicate quirkes against the rich cuckold a cittizen ; shadowed glaunces for good innocent ladies and gentlewomen ; with a nipping scoffe for some honest iustice , who hath once imprisoned him : or some thriftie trades-man , who hath allowed him no credit : alwayes remembred , his obiect is , a new play , or a play newly revived . other poems hee admits , as good fellowes take tobacco , or ignorant burgesses giue a voyce , for company sake ; as things that neither maintaine , nor bee against him . hee can seeme no lesse then one in honour , or at least one mounted : for vnto miseries which persecute such , hee is most incident . hence it proceedes , that in the prosperous fortune of a play frequented , hee proues immoderate , and falles into a drunkards paradise , till it be last no longer . otherwise when adversities come , they come together : for lent and shroue-tuesday bee not farre asunder : then hee is deiected daily and weekely : his blessings be neither lame nor monstrous ; they goe vpon foure legges ; but moue slowly ; and make as great a distance betweene their steppes , as betweene the foure tearmes . if he marries , hee mistakes the woman for the boy in womans attire , by not respecting a difference in the mischiefe . but so long as hee liues vnmarried , he mistakes the boy , or a whore for the woman ; by courting the first on the stage , or visiting the second at her devotions . take him at the best , he is but a shifting companion ; for he liues effectually by putting on , and putting off . if his profession were single , hee would thinke himselfe a simple fellow , as hee doth all professions besides his owne : his owne therefore is compounded of all natures , all humours , all professions . hee is politick enough to perceiue the common-wealths doubts of his licence , and therefore in spight of parliaments or statutes he incorporates himselfe by the title of a brother-hood . i need not multiply his character ; for boyes and euery one , will no sooner see men of this faculty walke along , but they will ( vnasked ) informe you what hee is by the vulgar denomination . charac. v. a warrener is an earthly minded man : hee plucks his liuing frō the earths bowels : and therfore is his mind most conuersant about that element : he liues in a little arcenall or watch-tower , being well prouided with engines and artilery : with which ( like another tyrant ) he doth encounter the enemies of his inhabitants ; that he may engrosse them all the more entirely : and yet in some respects he is a good gouernour , for he delights more in the death of an enemy , then six subiects : the reason is apparant , for one foe is able to destroy twenty of his vassailes ; and so his gaines be preuented : therefore a pole-cat and he be at continuall variance : yet he is charitable and mercifull , for if the pole-cat turne ferret and obey him , none agree better : hee doth waive much spoile by his mid-night watches , and yet he owes no lord-ship : the truth is , tumblers , nets , and other traffick do escheate to him , although the owner be liuing . he verifies the prouerbe of plenty , as the more he hath , the more he doth desire : for though his owne ground be full of breeders , yet he cannot forbeare to haue his hand in priuate warrens . hee is much , and most perplexed , because pales and hedges will not keepe his cattell in compasse : if he cannot therefore compound with the neighbours adiacent , he hath a trick to affright those that transgresse their limites , by scattering murtherd captiues ( as pole-cats , and weasels ) in their places of refuge : and this is a deepe quillet in the profession : besides this , he hath little knowledge of moment , except the science of making trappes : or circumuention of innocent dogs to feed vermine : the chiefe petition of his prayer , is for blacke frosts , sunne-shine weather , and calme mid-nights : vnder the protection of the last , he walkes fearelesse , with a pike-staffe , to exercise the liberty of that season among other mens backesides : where he hath many night-spels , to the hazard of much pullen , and indeed all things thieue-able ; if he doth not play the valiant foot-man , and take tribute of passengers : neither is he worthy to be such a dealer with nets and cony-catchings , if he could not intrap the kings subiects . i make no question therfore that he is worthy of his profession : howsoeuer sometimes he is catcht in a pitfal of liquor by his companions : whilst they perhaps being poulterers , proue tyrannicall substitutes , and rob his possessions : but in reuenge , hee doth often encroach vpon the poulterers likewise with a drunken bargaine . charac. vi. a huntsman is the leiutenant of dogs , and foe to haruest : he is frolick in a faire morning fit for his pleasure ; and alike reioyceth with the virginians , to see the rising sun : he doth worship it as they ; but worships his game more then they : and is in some things almost as barbarous . a sluggard he contemnes , & thinks the resting time might be shortned ; which makes him rise with day , obserue the same pace , and proue full as happy ; if the day be happy . the names of foxe , hare , and bucke , be all attracting sillables ; sufficient to furnish fifteene meales with long discourse in the aduentures of each . foxe , drawes in his exploits done against cubbes , bitch-foxes , otters , and badgers : hare , brings out his encounters , plat-formes , engines , fortifications , and night-worke done against leueret , cony , wilde-cat , rabbet , weasell , and pole-cat : then bucke , the captaine of all , prouokes him ( not without strong passion ) to remēber hart , hind , stagge , doe , pricket , fawne , and fallow deere . he vses a dogged forme of gouernement , which might bee ( without shame ) kept in humanity ; and yet he is vnwilling to be gouerned with the same reason : either by being satisfied with pleasure , or content with ill fortune . hee hath the discipline to marshall dogs , and sutably ; when a wise herald would rather meruaile , how he should distinguish their coates , birth , and gentry . hee carries about him in his mouth the very soule of ouids bodies , metamorphosed into trees , rockes , and waters : for when he pleases , they shall eccho and distinctly answere ; and when he pleases , be extreamely silent . there is little danger in him towards the common wealth : for his worst intelligence comes from shepheards or woodmen ; and that onely threatens the destruction of hares ; a well-knowne dry meate . the spring and he are still at variance ; in mockage therefore , and reuenge together of that season , he weares her liuery in winter . little consultations please him best ; but the best directions he doth loue and follow , they are his dogs : if hee cannot preuaile therefore , his lucke must be blamed ; for he takes a speedy course . he cannot be lesse then a conquerour from the beginning , though he wants the booty ; for he pursues the flight . his man-hood is a crooked sword with a saw backe ; but the badge of his generous valour is a horne to giue notice . battery and blowing vp , hee loues not : to vndermine is his stratageme . his physick teaches him not to drinke sweating ; in amends whereof , he liquors himselfe to a heate , vpon coole bloud ; if hee delights ( at least ) to emulate his dog in a hot nose . if a kennell of hounds passant take away his attention and company from church ; do not blame his deuotion ; for in them consists the nature of it , and his knowledge . his frailties are , that he is apt to mistake any dog worth the stealing , and neuer take notice of the collar . hee dreames of a hare sitting , a foxe earthed , or the bucke couchant : and if his fancy would be moderate , his actions might be full of pleasure . charact . vii . a falkoner is the egge of a tame pullet , hatcht vp among the hawkes and spaniels . hee hath in his minority conuersed with kestrils , and yong hobbies ; but growing vp he begins to handle the sure , & look a fawlcō in the face . all his learning makes him but a new linguist ; for to haue studied and practised the termes of hawkes dictionary , is enough to excuse his wit , manners , and humanity . he hath too many trades to thriue ; and yet if hee had fewer , hee would thriue lesse : hee need not bee enuied therfore , for a monopolie , though he be barber-surgeon , physitian , and apothecary , before he commences hawk-leech : for though he exercise all these , and the art of bow-strings together , his patients be compelled to pay him no further , then they bee able . hawkes be his obiect , that is , his knowledge , admiration , labour , and all : they be indeed his idoll , or mistresse , be they male or female : to them he consecrates his amorous ditties , which be no sooner framed then hallowed : nor should he doubt to ouercome the fairest , seeing he reclaimes such haggards ; and courts euery one with a peculiar dialect . that he is truely affected to his sweet-heart in her fether-bed , appeares by the sequele ; himselfe being sensible of the same misery : for they be both mewed vp together : but he still chuses the worst pennance ; by chusing rather an ale-house , or a cellar , for his moulting place , then the hawkes mew . he cannot bee thought lesse then a spie , and that a dangerous one : for his espials are , that hee may see the fall of what he persecutes : and so the wood-cocks perish : if they do not , his art is suspended . he is a right busy-body , who intermeddles so much with others affaires , that he forgets his own . he would not else correct his hawkes wildnesse ; and be so ready to trample downe the standing corne ; or make way through enclosures : that argues him to be rebellious , & vulgar ; one apt to striue for liberty . his man-hood i dare not signifie , it remaines doubtfull vpon equall tearmes , because , seldome tried with any thing but wild-fowle : and then he performes water-seruice ; perhaps sea-seruice ; but both in some fowle manner : by land he serues , on horse or foot ; on both , to destroy partrige , or pheasant . there is no hope of his rising , though he doth excell ; for he rather seekes to make others ambitious of rising , then himselfe : and therefore though he frames wings with daedalus , he therby makes his hawke onely ambitious : yet if any shall ( by coniecture ) take a flight from paules steeple ; hee will ( i suppose ) as soone as any . i had rather ( in the meane time ) take his word then his oath ; for when he speakes without an oath , he is not troubled with the passion of his curres , or haggards ; and therefore cannot so well excuse it , if he breakes his promise . as for religion , she is a bird of too high a wing ; his hawkes cannot reach it , and therefore not hee : and if hee flies to heauen , it is a better flight , then any hee hath commemended : there , i meddle not with him ; thither he must carry himselfe : for i can neither condemne , nor saue him . charact . viii . a farmer is a concealed commodity : his worth or value is not fully knowne till he be halfe rotten , and then he is worth nothing : he hath religion enough to say , god blesse his maiesty ; god send peace , and faire weather ; so that one may picke haruest out of him to be his time of happines : but the tith-sheafe goes against his conscience ; for he had rather spend the value vpon his reapers and plough-men , then bestow any thing to the maintenance of a parson . hee is sufficiently booke-read , nay a profound doctor , if he can search into the diseases of cattell : and to fore-tell raine by tokens , makes him a miraculous astronomer . to speake good english is more then he much regards ; and for him not to contemne all arts and languages , were to condemne his owne education . the pride of his house-keeping is a messe of creame , a pig , or a greene goose , and if his seruants can vncontrowled finde the high-way to the cup boord , it winnes the name of a bountifull yeoman . to purchase armes ( if he aemulates gentry ) sets vpon him like an ague : it breakes his sleepe , takes away his stomacke , and he can neuer be quiet till the herald hath giuen him the harrowes , the cuckow , or some ridiculous embleme for his armory . the bringing vp , and mariage of his eldest sonne , is an ambition which afflicts him so soone as the boy is borne , and the hope to see his sonne superior , or placed aboue him , driues him to dote vpon the boy in his cradle : to peruse the statutes and preferre them before the bible , makes him purchase the credit of a shrewd fellow , and then he brings all aduersaries to composition ; and if at length he can discouer himselfe in large legacies beyond expectation , he hath his desire . meane time , he makes the preuention of a dearth his title , to be thought a good common-wealths man : and therefore hee preserues a a chandelors treasure of bacon , linkes and puddings in the chimney corner . hee is quickely and contentedly put into the fashion , if his cloathes bee made against whitsontide or christmas day : and then outwardly hee contemnes appearance : he cannot therefore choose but hate a spaniard likewise ; and ( hee thinkes ) that hatred onely , makes him a loyall subiect : for benevolence and subsidies be more vnseasonable to him , then his quarters rent . briefly , being a good house-keeper , hee is an honest man ; and so , hee thinkes of no rising higher , but rising early in the morning ; and beeing vp , hee hath no end of motion , but wanders in his woods and pastures so effectually , that when he sleepes , or sits , hee wanders likewise . after this , he turns into his elemēt , by being too ventrous hot , & cold : then he is fit for nothing but a checkered graue : howsoever some may think him convenient to make an everlasting lasting bridge ; because his best foundation hath been ( perhaps ) vpon wool-packes . charac. ix . an hostesse is ( if beautifull ) the abatement of reckonings , or the second course : if a widow , shee is the iourneyes end of a wether-beabeaten traveller : if ordinary , she is the seruant & the mistris ; but in generall , she is a receiver to all professions , and acquainted by experience with cookery , or sluttery . being invited to her owne provisions , shee prepares the way to mitigate her prises , either by exclaiming vpon the hard times , or insinuating the sublime price of mutton . she must be pardoned , though she depart before supper is ended , or approch when supper is ended ; for shee is modestly ashamed to heare her sinfull reckonings . she professes the kitchin , but takes place in the chamber : and having interrupted the guest with a cup of heartily welcome , she signifies his sorrow , though it bee manifest silence ; shee excuses the attendance by variety of guests ; and blaming the maid-servants , she commends herselfe for the sole agent : and you must conceiue amisse of the shambles , or butter-market vpon her honesty . her chiefest knowledge is to distinguish vpon the trades of our belly ; and though shee condemnes a taylor for strengthening his bill with bumbast , stiffening , silke and buttons ; yet shee furnishes her owne in the same kinde , with wine , bread , sallets , and cheese ; and though she seldome abate the price of reckonings , yet she can giue a morsell of her owne into the bargaine ; if that may satisfie . she may abhorre drunkennesse ; but in her owne house conceales it , and receiues the advantage : neither dares she reproue her husbands thirstie humor , least she should loose her libertie ; when hee resignes his power to lazinesse , by which hee was ingendred . her husbands sloth make her imployed proudly ; being heartily ambitious of labour , if shee can boast well , that her paines alone keepe her husband and his family : if her selfe be spunge and corke , she hath a daughter , or a chamber-maid of ivy. these and she together make the best of a bad bargaine ; and therefore shee affoords no peny-worth which is not the best that can suddenly be bought for money . she seldome invites cost-free : for she determines to be paid commonly . if therefore she doth invite , she is a rare woman ; neither hath she any thing else to plead raritie . briefly , shee is a thing of cleane linnen , that is the warrant of her cleanlinesse : she makes the welcome of a new , the farewell of an old traveller . she hearkens ioyfully to the numerous footing of horses ; and having , with a quicke accent twise called the chamberlaine , she is now busie about dressing supper . charact . x. a tapster . is an infernall : the belzebub of a sellar , and the very motion of a double iugge . hee was ingendred by a drunkards appetite and vrine : for nothing but his desire to fill and emptie , hath bred a tapster . he striues to be familiar at first sight ; but instead of friendship hee retaines the names of customers : onely betwixt brewers men and him , there passes hungry and thirstie loue ; consisting of holland-cheese & rowles in recompence of bottle-ale , and strong beere . drawers and hee liue at variance ; for he thinkes the grape a disparragement to malt ; and therefore hee incounters wine even with the smallest beere he hath , to affright the fortitude of sacke and claret with extremitie : but ( which betrayes his stratagems ) he gladly makes the vintners vessell his vassaile and renegado . his riches are single , they consist of single money ; his profession double , it consists of double beere : but then his faculties are againe so single , that if he leaues the cellar , hee must begge or steale : for ignorance and lazinesse haue beene his education . meane time he is kept from robbery by exchange of single peeces : and yet hee disables himselfe in exchange , vnlesse hee expects nothing by delay . he feeles the same sorrow to heare you discommend his liquor , that hee doth to see you depart . * it goes against his conscience to see the cup stand quietly ; and against his stomack to see you preferre mutton before powdred beefe . he hath an ambitious memory , which cannot deceiue him , because hee hath taught it to deceiue others : for his aboundance of memory , and his meaning to get a stocke , labour to beget a superfluous two-pence in the reckoning . his braine swarmes with a tempest of bottle-reckonings ; which makes him carelesse of hats , least hee should breed an impostume , by inclosing their multitude , else he is afraid least the hot and moyst reckonings he carries in his head , should dissolue his felt ; and therfor che goes vncovered : else to shew he reverences the cellar & weeke-dayes , more then the church or sabboth ; for then onely hee playes the turke , and puts on else ( which is indeed the reason ) he knowes all commers claime his dutie , and therfore he walkes bare-headed to saue a labour . he attributes the scant measure of his iugge to the cellars darkenesse , and his saving nature ; but rather then he will iustifie both , he hath a certaine slight of hand to fill the first glasse , and so avoyds inquisition . all his conscience is , that he dares not cast away gods good creatures ; and therefore he preserues the droppings to make a compound . of his prayers and religion , i neither finde any thing , nor will i leaue any thing written . but i beleeue strongly , that in stead of praying , he wishes to heare men desirous of collops and egges , or red herrings . and therefore i thinke he should thriue best in a sea voyage ; because hee commends the relish of meates seasoned exceedingly . he hath nothing to commend his literature , but brachigraphy , or the science of short writing , which hee practises vpon the barrels head , or behind the doore : the meaning whereof hee propounds , but doth not discover the rules . if he dares defend his function in winter , he must provide an orator : for he speakes coldly for himselfe , as being troubled with a common hoarsenesse , to betray his vigilance . briefly , you must imagine him a light fellow , and like the c●rke , which swimmes with moysture , is supported with liquor , and tied about the bottle or iugges neck : there , or neere about that , you may finde him personally . charac. xi . a lawyers clarke is his masters right hand , except hee writes with his left : or the second dresser of sheep-skinnes : one that can extract more from the parchment , then the husband-man from the fleece . he is a weake grammarian ; for hee beginnes to peirce , before he can construc well : witnesse the chamber-maid . neither can you discommend him : for his best education hath beene at a dull writing-schoole . hee doth gladly imitate gentlemen in their garments ; they allure the wenches , and may ( perhaps ) provoke his mistresse : but then hee must bee a customer to cookes shoppes , and low ordinaries , or visite the broaker , to be-speake silke stockings ; without which hee thinkes gentry doth much degenerate ▪ presuming on which , and his plausible discourse , he dares attempt a mistresse : but if hee chooses worthily , hee feeles himselfe worthily contemned , because hee woes with bawdery in text ; and with iests , or speeches stolne from playes , or from the common-helping arcadia . hee may bee reasonably commaunded by his maister in attendance : but if he rides with a cloake-bagge , hee thinkes himselfe disgraced behinde his backe . howsoever , hee is otherwise a peaceable companion : for as hee continually makes agreement , so himselfe sits quietly , by his owne embleme of meeknesse , the sheeps-skinne ; except the itch troubles him . you can make no question that he is not ignorant to dispatch readily ; for he hath his businesse at his fingers end . hee may pretend schollership , but all that is nothing to a iugglers , who exceedes in the slight of hand ; which is the art of both . hee trembles therefore alike with all handicrafts , ( though he be most valorous ) to thinke he should dare strike in the court : for vpon his palmes and fingers depend his in-comes . hee is no vaine disputant ; his knowledge is positiue ingrossed , and so vpon record . selfe-conceit in labours , hee refuses : for hee labours about nothing which is not iustifiable by presidents ; either of west , his master , or a teacher . his poetry is meere naturall , if he hath any ; that costs him no labour : in carriage , and the rest , hee barely imitates ; that labour is worth nothing . hee is not ashamed of what he doth : for hee regards not to haue a finger , but a whole hand in the businesse . to which purpose you may see his name subscribed in court , after sealed and delivered . hee doth relye vpon his masters practise , large indentures , and a deske to write vpon . westminster likewise doth not altogether not concerne him : hee hath a motion thither , and a motion there : thither hee moues by way of iniunction from his master : there he moues in the common place of breake-fasts , for reliefe of his stomacke ; and if hee can match his breake fast and dinner without grudging of his stomacke , hee hath his desire . hee is a follower : for he weares a livery ; but no seruant , for hee payes his owne wages . serving himselfe , he serues god by occasion : for whilst hee loues his gaine , and serues his desire of getting , hee hates idlenesse . if his master thriues , hee cannot doe amisse ; for hee leades the way , and still rides before ; but if hee incline to the consumption of state , hee needes a master that can thriue in that practise also , to recover him . hee is the sophister , or solliciter to an atturney ; and from himselfe hee proceedes to an atturney : that is his commencement . ( *** ) charact . xii . a meere atturney is a fellow at your command for ten groates , and hath no inheritance , but a knavish forme of vnderstanding . hee is extreamly graced if he talke with two velvet-cloak'd clients in fiue tearmes ; and desires to salute great lawyers in view to purchase reputation . he is indeed the vpshot of a lawyers clarke , and retailes his learning from poenall statutes , or an english littleton . he is a better commoditie to himselfe then stockefish ( being wel beaten ) his chiefe inventiō is how he may take bribes from both parties , & please both fashionably : how he may cousen his friends to all advantage , and giue the glosse of good dealing : if his wickednesse thriues well , he proues a terrible asse in a lyons skin : but whilst he out-dares the eagle , and forgets himselfe to be a kastrell , his confidence deceiues him : his pen and inke-horne is a speciall propertie ; he weares it pendant , to expresse his dependance : sub-paenaes , executions , and all writs of quarrell be his bond slaues . he doth naturally exclaime vpon poets and players ; they are too inquisitiue about his cousonage . he commends diuinity ; but makes the professors simple men when they submit to his mercy : he still preferres the authority of a statute where it makes for his purpose ( though mistaken ) before god and a good conscience . his religion is the kings continually : and he would willingly come to c●urch on sundaies if he had ended his declarations : his chiefe pride is to behaue himselfe better then he is able , and chiefely in deliuering of his charge at court-leetes , where he assumes much peremptory state , and knowes the audience cannot distinguish where hee stole his lesson : and then though his minde be not in the dishes , it is in the k●tchin . his highest ambition is an innes of court , an old rich widdow , and the steward-ship of leetes , and still hee hopes to be first of his name : hee loues little manners but where he hopes to saue , and there he plaies the sycophant . he had rather eate still then wipe his mouth : his almes bee old s●ooes for broomes , one for another ; for without receiuing he neuer giues . his discourse is commonly attended with a scire facias , and he is ashamed in his heatt when he heares of a cunninger knaue then himselfe . briefly , indeed hee is a meere atturney , fit for all turnes that any way enrich his cofer : for he hath knauery enough to cosen the people , but wit enough to deceiue the gallowes . howsoeuer being too busy about his common baite of lucre ( thinking to snappe at the diuels glow worme ) he is catched in his common noose , the pillorie ; from whence he is deliuered : but the hunts-man markes him for for an old breeder . charac. xiii . a crafty scriuener is the curse of mans crafty dealing , a curious workeman , and may be free of the locke-smithes , for full of instruments hee is , and engines : and makes manacles for any mans wearing aboue twenty one. his first ambition commonly is to ioyne forces , and make vp his defects of policy , and custome by partaking in anothers proiects : then doth hee readily aspire to frequented places , a conuenient shop , the notice of his neighbours , and to engrosse credit , or some text widdow , by the nouerint of his grogren gowne : a common strumpet neuer fawned so much on yong heire , as hee with flattery obserues the vsurer , and with nice dutifull care to preserue him , makes his rotten hide , the chiefe indentures that containe his title . obligations be his best prayers ; for hee cannot tie god to performe conditions , or put in fuertyship : his friendship hath a counter mand of being too honest ; which hee will obey , rather then not saue by the bargaine . hee is the safest man from danger in the pedigree of rapines ; for first , the gallant liues by sale and country tenants ; the cittizen by the gallant ; the scriuener and the deuill vpon both , or all : so neither liues by losse with the gallant , nor vpon trust , with the citizen : his condemnation is a knot of seales and their impression : the first discouer to him a conformed vnity ; yet none hath more hand in the procuring of variance . the last discouers a tractable nature , which giues and takes impression . of the first ( that is to giue ) he knowes no meaning but when he giues the print of his fist , that it may sticke by elder brothers a whole age : of the last ( that is to take impression ) hee knowes none but a wrong meaning : for the best seale that imprints loue in him , is onely the kings picture ; and that loue continues no longer then he beholds it . his quils and instruments betoken peace : you cannot therefore expect more valour in him , then to win ground by the aduantage of weake prodigals , and such as runne away from thriftinesse : they be most importunate with him : with them hee preuailes most : to them he sels his extortious nature at the highest value , because they be most willing to make it their peny-worth . his memory is his owne ; another cannot safely trust it in reckoning the day of payment : for he reckons what he can saue , by renewing the hazard of a second forfeit , not your losse by the first : and so he ouer-reaches you , by ouer-reaching the time , when you trust his memory : which ( like an old ridden iade ) lookes not to the iourneies end but to the baiting place , though he goes further then the iournies end : if you trust him therefore you may feele the forfeite , and pay largely for an acquittance . his learning iumps iust with , or fals sometimes short of an atturnies ; being onely able to repeate the afore-said forme to thousand purposes : so all his mistery is indeed nothing to encrease his art , but his policy , or plaine knauery : and that , being serued in , to the worlds banquet , represents a large foxes head , and a little sheepe-skinne in diuers dishes . it is the totall of his creed , that nothing should bee iustified , or called lawful , which hath not hand and seale : that makes him exercise hand and seale , as the warrant for deuises of his head and soule . he neuer rayses the spirit of a prodigall by charmes , but he together rayses the spirit of mammon a citizen , and then this potent coniurer binds them both fast in a quadrangle . hee will seeme to know the statute and common law ; but the construction failes commonly ( for he looks to his owne aduantage ) except the law hath practised vpon his hearing , to teach the comment when he mistakes the law. hauing at length beene a long auditor to the sweete lecture of vsury , hee loues the matter so well , that he becomes proficient , graduate , and professour in the science : but after generall profession hee approaches quickely to his center ( from whence hee sprung ) nothing . charac. xiiii . a welch client is a good iourney-man , if not a good foot-man : he is the onely friend of lawyers ( if they be welch begotten ) and still sollicites them for a iudgement . his valour is , that hee can by no meanes carry coales ; and is therefore euer fittest for an action of the case . when hee expresseth ( as hee thinkes ) his bounty to out braue his aduersary before his counsell , then doth hee rather and indeed expresse a waspish nature : the which together with variety of purses , be the best maintenance , if not commencement , of his action . his pride lies wrapt vp in a clout betweene his legges , or in a pocket in the arme-hole : from thence hee drawes his angels to feed his lawyer , though himselfe sleepe supper-lesse . ( howsoeuer ) hee is content to bee his owne cooke ; and though his dyet bee slender , yet his mony and victuals lie within a clowtes thickenesse , to proue him able : this might excuse him from a beggarly want of food , but rather detects him of a beggarly thrift . hee makes the tearme his time of pilgrimage , and offices at law , the shrine where hee offers vp his deuotion : which ( after hee hath ended his voyage ) amounts to voluntary pennance ; for hee trauailes bare foote . though hee bee long in trauaile and tarries late , yet nothing can be recouered by default of apparance : for invndations be his perpetuall affidavit ; and they alone are able to wash away all costs . the profit which hee giues to english lawyers , hee giues generally to the lawes profession : that proceeds from his language , which to the credite of innes of court , and law-french , he vtters harshly , to the great amazement of beholders . a peece of parchment and a seale throughly paid for , satisfies him presently in steed of iudgement ; but otherwise he spends his faith vpon the hope of costs : and if hee dies before execution , he scarce hopes to be saued . charact . xv. a country bridegroome is the finest fellow in the parish ; and hee that misinterprets my definition , deserues no rosemary nor rose-water : hee neuer was maister of a feast before , that makes him hazard much new complement : but if his owne maister bee absent , the feast is full of displeasure ; except in his latter dayes he grew rebellious ; and then he must remoue away to his wiues country ; except his fortunes be peremptory . although he points out his brauery with ribbands , yet he hath no vaine-glory ; for he contemnes fine cloathes with dropping pottage in his bosome . the inuitation of guests , prouision of meate , getting of children , and his nuptiall garments , haue kept his braine long in trauaile ; if they were not arguments of his wooing oratory . his inuitations are single , his prouisions double , his expected children seldome more then treble ; but his garments at least quadruple . hee inuites by rule within in distance , where hee hopes to preuaile ; not without some paraphrase vpon his meaning . but ( howsoeuer ) hee seemes generous : for nothing troubles him , or takes away his stomacke more , then default of company : yet in his prouision hee had rather take away your stomacke then fill your belly . as for his children if he begets aboue three , hee may beget for gods sake to store the parish . and yet his rayment ( for the time ) must shew much variety . the taylor likewise must bee a vexation to him , or his cloathes would neuer sit hansomely : but ( aboue all ) a bridle in his mouth would serue better then a pickadell ; for if you restraine him from his obiects , and the engine of his necke , you put him into the pillory . hee must sauour of gallantry a little ; though he perfume the table with rose-cake ; or appropriate bone-lace , and couentry-blew . hee hath heraldry enough to place euery man by his armes : but his quality smels rancke with running vp and downe to giue a heartily welcome : blame him not though hee proue preposterous : for his inclination was perhaps alwayes good , but his behauiour now begins : which is notwithstanding ( hee thinkes ) well discharged if when he dances , the heeles of his shooes play the galliard . ( *** ) ( ⸪ ) charact . xvi . a country bride . is the beginning of the world : or an old booke with a new title : a quarters wages before hand , and the title of a country dame bee the two adaments of her affection . she rises with a resolution to be extremely sober : this begets silence , which giues her a repletion of aire without ventage : and that takes away her appetite . shee seemes therefore commendably sober vnto all : but she driues the parson out of patience with her modesty , vnlesse he haue interest or be inuited : she inclines to statelines , thogh ignorant of the meaning : her interpretor , taster , caruer , and sewer , be theresore accidentall ; and yet without these , she were an image to the assembly . rosemary and ribbands be her best magnificence . she will therefore bestow a livery , though she receiues backe wages : behauiour stickes to her like a disease ; necessity brings it ; neither can she take pleasure in the custome : and therefore importunacie with repetition , enforce her to dumbe signes : otherwise you must not looke for an answere . she is a courteous creature : nothing proceedes from her without a courtesie : shee hath no ornament worth observance , if her gloues be not miraculous and singular . those be the trophy of some forlorne sutor , who contents himselfe with a large offring , or this glorious sentence , that she should haue beene his bed-fellow . her best commendation is to be kist often : this onely proceeds from her without interruption . she may to some , seeme very raw in cariage , but this becomes noted through the feare of discovering it . no question is to bee made of her maiden-head : yet if she weepes , a question may arise ; as whether she doth still desire to keepe it ? but the answere take : away the doubt of loosing it : for neither can she repent her match before tryal , nor the losse of chastitie , seing she matcht for that purpose : but these are nothing to preserue her honesty : for she cannot also cunningly proceed ; but like a quiet creature , wishes to loose her garters quickly , that shee may loose her maiden-head likewise . and now she is layd . charac. xvii . my mistresse is my perspectiue glasse , through which i view the worlds vanity : she hath fiue seruants beside my selfe : and me ( that i may stil continue dutifull ) she suffers to be before hand with my wages : but i that know her coyne is counterfeit , suspect shee is a witch , and charmes the taker , or it would not else be so currant : the truth is , i first began to look vpon her , because she said she loved a poet well , and was in part a poetresse : for which good qualitie i might haue loved her likewise ; but she was onely good at long hexameters , or a long and a short , even for variety sake ; which came so full vpon ouids amorous veine , that i despised her meaning . she had her education vnder a great countesse ; and if she could leaue the courtship she learnt when she was a waiter , she might quickly proue a reasonable good woman . her body is ( i presume ) of gods making ; and yet i cannot tell , for many parts therof she made herselfe . her head is in effect her whole body and attire : for from thence , and the devises there ingendred , proceeds her blushing modesty , her innocent white teeth , her gawdy gownes , her powdred haire , her yellow bands , her farthingals , and false diamonds . all these together , and a quicke fansie commend her function : for fidlers and painters be full of crotchets . i haue heard her also wish for new hands : but those she hath , will serue conveniently among them that know her properties : you need not make the question whether she can sing ; for visitation will teach you , that she can scarce leaue singing . and as for dauncing , she will aske the question of you . she hath the tricke of courtship , not to bee spoken with ; to take physicke , and to let her mountebancke bee the best ingredient . her wit is dainty , because seldome : and whatsoever is wanting in the present delicacie of conceit , shee makes good by rehearsall of stolne wittie answeres , even to the seventh addition . she purposes to travell shortly , when as her voyage will onely returne with some french commoditie ; and shee will rather fetch it , though shee may be furnished at home , because shee loues the cheapest ware , and the outlandish fashion . her generositie extends thus farre ; to bestow loue , and looke for neither thankes nor requital ; because a marmoset and little dogge bee ignorant of both . these excepted , she never loved truely . her morall vertues be a subtill thrift , and a thriving simplicitie . but whilst she makes the best construction of a matter , she would make likewise a thousand pound ioyncture of her behaviour onely , and court-carriage . this bargaine is open for any man , who thinks not the peny-worth doubtfull . her best religion is to teach a parret the lords prayer ; but the ten commandements be a new matter : so that petitions be more plausible with her , then iniunctions : at her owne request therefore i giue this to her looking-glasse . charac. xviii . a gossip is a windie instrument ; a paire of hellowes , or indeed two : for without her fellow , she is nothing . these labour ioyntly as at an alchymists furnace , onely to beget vapours : she receiues and sends backe breath with advantage ; that is her function . her end is to kindle ; that is , to warm , or burne : she can do both . and being quiet , or not in contention , shee is without her calling ; that is , her company . her knowledge is her speech ; the motiue , her tongue ; and the reason her tongue also : but the subiect of her eloquence is the neighbours wife , and her husband ; or the neighbours wife and husband both . shee is the mirth of marriages , and publicke meetings : but her naturall season comes in with a minc'd pye , at christmas ; when all may attend with leasure . shee carries her bladder in her braine , that is full ; her braine in her tongues end , that shee empties . it was washed down thither with pints of muscadine ; and being there , shee looses it like vrine , ( but in publicke ) to ease her kidneyes : which would otherwise melt with anger , because she cannot be heard ; or consume with malice , because she was prevented . being once a servant , shee then learnt to runne , or goe apace ; that she might tarry and take , or giue intelligence by the way . shee aemulates a lawyer in riding the circuite , and therefore she keepes a circuit in , or out of her own liberties : striuing to be both one of the iudges , iury and false witnesses : that is her freedome onely , to censure . shee contemplates within , that she may practise abroad ; that makes her reveale secrets . her meaning is colour , that shee dawbes on every fable ; but in her selfe abhorres it . her truth is , to make truths and tales convertibles : tales be her substance , her conceit , her vengeance , reconcilements , and discourse . to talke of cookerie , or cleanlinesse , and to taxe others , is her best and onely commendation . to talke of what she is ignorant , yeelds her credit and presumption ; to taxe , giues a tribute to her owne praise by implication ; and begets her empire . her lungs be everlasting : she cannot bee short winded : if those would perish , she might bee recovered . shee is alike dangerous with the poxe , to the town where she inhabites : and being pledged , or admitted among the fem●les , she infects more easily . if she railes against whoredome , it favours not of devotion ; for she is onely married , to escape the like scandall ; from the doore outward . the buriall of a second husband giues her the title of experience ; but when shee hath out-lived three , she takes authoritie and experience both ( as a souldier that hath passed the pikes of three set battailes ) for granted . her commendable antiquitie reaches not aboue fiftie ; for growing old , she growes odious to her selfe first : and to prevent the losse of company ; ( having lived vainly ) she commences hostesse : that alone preserues her humour . a mungrill print would best expresse her character : for she is indeed a mungrell woman , or the worst part of both sexes , bound vp in one volume : seing she corrupts the best by the vse of them . charac. xix . an old woman is one that hath seene the day : and is commonly ten yeares yonger , or ten years elder by her own confession , then the people know she is : if she desires to be youthfull accounted , you may call her mistres , widow , or the like ; but otherwise old mother , grandame , and such names that do seale antiquitie : the first she takes well , if childlesse : the last never well , but when shee can speake wonders to grand-children of the third generation . if they please her , she hath old harry soueraignes , that saw no sun in fiftie yeares , to giue away on her death-bed . she loues the vpper end of the table , and professes much skill in cookery : she thinks it also some felicitie to giue attendance about sicke persons : but is the cōmon foe to all physitians . in agues , aches , coughes and tissickes , she confidently will vndertake to cure by prescription : if her selfe be vntainted . as for diseases which she knowes not , shee dares proceed to dragon-water , holy thistles , worme-wood-drinkes , and clister s , without the helpe of galen , or hippocrates : if she blushes at the sunnes rising , her colour changes not till bed-time : and somtimes though she drinkes downe her break-fast , by dinner time her teeth be grown , & she wil seeme to chew the cud . she may as safely walke amongst contagious lepers , as into the kitchin , and smels infection , or perfume with the same nostrill . she hath perpetually the pride of being too cleanly , or the adherent vice of being too sluttish . she affects behaviour in the brood of youth , and will divulge her secrets of superstition to any that will be attentiue . envy is to her a iust parable twinne , and though it be offensiue commonly to few , yet doth it oftentimes consume her selfe , and starue away her memory . charac. xx. a witch is the diuels hostesse : he takes house-roome and dyet of her ; and yet she paies the reckoning : guilty thoughts , and a particular malice of some one person , makes her conceiue detestation of all : her policy of sequestration , to avoid iealousie of neighbours , detects her envious spirit : for the melancholy darknesse of her low cottage is a maine coniecture of infernals : her name alone ( being once mounted ) makes discourse enough for the whole parish : if not for all hamlets within sixe miles of the market . she receiues wages in her owne coine : for she becomes as well the obiect of every mans malice , as the fountaine of malice towards every man. the torments therefore of hot iron , and mercilesse scratching nails , be long thought vpon , and much threatned ( by the females ) before attempted . meane time shee tolerates defiance through the wrathfull spittle of matrons , in stead of fuell , or maintenance to her damnable intentions : she is therefore the ignorant cause of many witches besides her selfe : for ceremonious avoidāce brings the true title to many , although they hartily scorne the name of witches . her actions may wel seeme to betray her high birth and pedigree : for she doth quickly apprehend a wrong before it be mentioned : and ( like a great family ) takes no satisfaction which doth not infinitely countervaile the abuse : children therefore cannot smile vpon her without the hazard of a perpetuall wry-mouth : a very noble-mans request may be denied more safely then her petitions for small beere : and a great ladies , or queenes name may be lesse doubtfully derided . her prayers and amen , be a charme & a curse : her contemplations and soules-delight be other mens mischiefe : her portion and suters be her soule , and a succubus : her highest adorations be yew-trees , dampish church-yards , & a faire moone-light : her best preservatiues be odde numbers , and mightie tetragrammaton : these provocatiues to her lust with divels , breedes her contempt of man ; whilst she ( like one sprung from the antipodes ) enioyes her best noone about midnight : and ( to make the comparison hold ) is troden vnder foot by a publicke & general hatred : she is nothing , if not a pythagorean ; for she maintaines the transmigration of spirits : these doe vphold the market of bargain & sale among them ; which affoords all sorts of cattell at a cheaper rate then bankes his horse , and better instructed : but ( like a prodigall ) she is out-reached , by thinking earnest is a payment ; because the day is protracted . her affections be besotted in affectation of her science ; shee would not else delight in toades , mice , or spinning cats without diuersity : it is probable she was begotten by some mounte-bank , or wording poet , for she consists of as many fearefull sounds without s●ience , and vtters them to as many delusiue purposes : shee is a cunning statuary : and frames many idols : these she doth worship no otherwise then with greedy scorne : and yet she is a deepe idolater : implication is enough with her , to bespeake any mans picture , without his entreaty : for if it appeares that he can prouoke her , it implyes likewise that he desires to be remembred by her ; and images be a certaine memoriall . shee seldome liues long enough to attaine the mysterie of oyntments , herbs , charmes , or incantations perfectly : for age is most incident to this corruption , and destiny preuents her . but howsoeuer she be past child-bearing , yet she giues sucke till the latest minute of fiue-score and vpwards . if she out-liues hempe , a wooden halter is strong enough : vnlesse she saues a labour . charact . xxi . a pandar is the scab of a common-wealth : surfets raise him to a blister ; necessity , and want of good surgeons , make him a mattery sore ; whilst time and tobacco brings him to a dry scale . he is commonly the vpshot of a yonger brother , who lackes honestie and inheritance ; or the remainder of a prodigall , who hath lost them and himselfe . his etymologie is pawne-dare : which intimates ; hee dares pawne his soule to damnation , or his stolne parcels to the brokers . bawdy songs and he came both in together ; for he is no generous companion except he can sing , and also compose stinking ditties . he hath bene a great hunter vp and downe in his daies , and therefore ( it is no wonder ) if towards a decay he become warrener . he is the deuils country-man or indeed acquaintance : therefore in the deuils absence hee proues his deputy ; and welcomes customers with fire-workes : a pipe of tobacco , and a hot queane . his vsher-like attendance on publike whores hath made coaches frequent ; to distinguish them and priuate ones . his valour is expressed in blacke patches ( much about roaring boyes humour ) but playsters , which expresse him more ventrous , hee conceales . he wishes to be the first teacher of a nouice : and ( being so admitted his tutor ) hee first teaches him to beware of adultery and theft , by making him guilty before he hath offended : with which two vices hee doth first accuse him , because himselfe is best acquainted with those two . if he be married , hee hath diuorced himselfe , because his wife was honest , & so meanes to continue : or ( beeing dishonest ) because shee was odiously deformed , not worthy to entice others . his creed is a matter of three articles , and them he beleeues actually : first , that there is no god : secondly , that all women , and more especially that all citizens wiues , bee , or would bee , common , or peculiar whores : & lastly , that all things are lawfull , which can escape the lawes danger : good examples therefore preuaile with him , as showers among the stones : they make him more studious to deceiue passengers : not to produce imitation in him , nor to beget fertility in them . his fellowships be retired , and within dores : for being abroad , he is a sober lumpe of villany ; delighting vnsociably ( like a cut-purse , and for the same reason ) rather in multitudes then ciuill numbers . the bawd and hee , are chiefe confederates : with whom ( together , as occasion happens ) the constable hath standing wages to be an assistant ; euery way as * dangerous as the other two . bowling-allies , dicing-houses , and tobacco shopes , be the temples , which hee , and his fraternity of rorers , haue erected to mercury and fortune : in the two first he doth acknowledge their deity ; in the last hee offers smoking incense to them both ; in recompence of booty gotten by chance and cheating . if the gallowes be disappointed of his destiny , they can blame nothing but his tender bones , which could not brooke so long a iourney ; or a whores quarrell , whilst wine was his leader . finis . notes, typically marginal, from the original text notes for div a -e pliny . a●l●anus . philo●tr● . nihil dat quod non babet , ergo non babet : nam si babuisset daret . his pollicies are not his owne : for he would then impart them haereditarily to his issue . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 * this poli●y ●n●rap●● 〈…〉 it ●hew 〈…〉 and so in 〈◊〉 easily preuented . gellius . gesar . plutarch . theophrastus . * aristotle . * sorrow may bee ●dmitted in behalfe of p●blic ▪ calamitie● which can not bee s● well tearmed discontents . * plato . gilen . cicero . d. thom. * aristotle . notes for div a -e * na●●r ●●ntendit op●●mum . notes for div a -e liuing lice . * that which aagrees with a couetous mans gain , agrees with his conscience ; therfore what goes against his profit , goes against his conscience * hee being ready to disturbe or not disturbe their customers , as they shall instruct him . a trve description of the pot-companion poet who is the founder of all the base and libellous pamphlets lately spread abroad : also a character of the seil-bole cook. earle, john, ?- . this text is an enriched version of the tcp digital transcription a of text r in the english short title catalog (wing e ). textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. the text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with morphadorner. the annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. this text has not been fully proofread approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. earlyprint project evanston,il, notre dame, in, st. louis, mo a wing e estc r ocm this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; :e , no ) a trve description of the pot-companion poet who is the founder of all the base and libellous pamphlets lately spread abroad : also a character of the seil-bole cook. earle, john, ?- . [ ] p. printed for r. w., london : . reproduction of original in thomason collection, british library. eng characters and characteristics. great britain -- social life and customs. a r (wing e ). civilwar no a true description of the pot-companion poet: who is the founder of all the base and libellous pamphlets lately spread abroad. also, a chara earle, john c the rate of defects per , words puts this text in the c category of texts with between and defects per , words. - tcp assigned for keying and markup - spi global keyed and coded from proquest page images - olivia bottum sampled and proofread - spi global rekeyed and resubmitted - andrew kuster sampled and proofread - andrew kuster text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion a trve description of the pot-companion poet : who is the founder of all the base and libellous pamphlets lately spread abroad . also ▪ a character of the swil-bole cook . london , printed for r. w. . a trve description of the pot-companion poet . the pot-companion poet is the dregs of wit , yet mingled with good drink , may have some relish , his inspirations are more reall then others , for they do but feign a god , but he has his by him , his verses run like the tap , and his inventions as the barrell , ebbs and flowes at the mercy of the spiggot , in thin drink he aspires not above a ballad , but a cup of sack inflames him , and sets his muse and nose a fire together ; the presse is his mint , and stamps him now and then a six-pence or two , in regard of the baser coyn his pamphlet , his works would scarce sell for three halfe pence , though they are oftentimes given for three shillings , but only for the prety title that allures the country gentlemen , and for which the printer maintains him in ale a whole fortnight , his verses are like his cloaths , miserable centos and patches ; yet their pace is not altogether so hobling as an almanack . the death of a great man , or the burning of a house doth furnish him with an argument , and the . muses are out straight in mourning gowns , and melpomine cryes fire , fire ; his other poems are but brief in ryme , and like the poor greeks collections , to redeem him from captivity ; he is a man now much imployed in commendations of our navie , and a bitter inveigher against the spanyard ; his frequents works go out in single sheets , and are fomed in every part of the city , and then chanted from market to market , to a vile tune , and a worse throat , while the poor countrey wench melts like her butter to hear them , and these are the stories of sam men of tyburn , or some strange monster , or a notorious lye out of germanie , or sitting in a baudy-house : he writes gods judgments , and ends at the last in some obscure painted cloth , to which himself made the verses , and his life is like a can too full , spills upon the bench . but in conclusion , leaves twenty shillings on the score , which my hostesse must lose . a character of the swill-bole cooke . the kitchin is his hell , and he the divell in it ; where his meat and he fryes together , his revenues are showr'd down from the fat of the land , and he interlards his own grease among it to helpe the dripping , cholerick he is , not by nature so much as by art ; and it is a shred temptation , his chopping-knife lyes so neer him ; his offensive weapons are a messe of hot broth , or scalding water : and wo be to him that comes in his way . in the kitchin he domineers and rules the rost , in spight of who says nay , and curses is the very dialect of his calling ; his labour is meer blustering and fury , and his speech like that of saylors in a storm , a thousand businesses at once , yet in all this tumult he does not love combustion , but will be the first man that will go and quench it ; he is never good christian till a hissing pot of ale hath shakt him like water cast on a fire-brand , and for that time he is tame and dispossest , his cunning is not smale in architecture ; for he builds strange fabricks in paste , towers , and castles , which are offered to the assault of valiant teeth , and like darius his palace , in one banquet demolisht . he is a pittilesse murder of innocents , and mangles poor souls with unheard of tortures , and it is thought the martyrs persecution were devised from hence ? sure , we are st. laurence his grid-iron , came out of his kitchin ; his best faculty is at the dresser , where he seems to have great skill in the tracticks , ranging his dishes in order military , and placing with great discretion in the fore-front meats more strange and hardy , and the more cold and cowardly in the rear ; as quaking tarts , and quavering custards , and such milksop dishes , which scape many times the fury of the encounter . but now the second course is gone up , and he down into the cellar , where he drinks and sleeps till four a clock in the afternoon , and then returns again to his regiment . finis . picturæ loquentes. or pictures drawne forth in characters vvith a poeme of a maid. by wye saltonstall. saltonstall, wye, fl. - . approx. kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from -bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : - (eebo-tcp phase ). a stc estc s this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons . universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : ) picturæ loquentes. or pictures drawne forth in characters vvith a poeme of a maid. by wye saltonstall. saltonstall, wye, fl. - . [ ] p. printed by tho. cotes, and are to be sold by tho. slater, at his shop in the blacke fryars, london : . running title reads: pictures or characters. a is blank. signatures: a-e¹² f⁶. reproduction of original in the folger shakespeare library. created by converting tcp files to tei p using tcp tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between and available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the , texts created during phase of the project have been released into the public domain as of january . anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. % (or pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf- unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p , characters represented either as utf- unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng characters and characteristics -- early works to . - tcp assigned for keying and markup - aptara keyed and coded from proquest page images - andrew kuster sampled and proofread - andrew kuster text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion picturae loquentes . or pictvres drawne forth in characters . with a poeme of a maid . by wye saltonstall . nè sutor ultra crepidam . london , printed by tho. cotes , and are to be sold by tho. slater , at his shop in the blacke fryars . . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 suo . c. s. s. p. d. the eye can judge of no object in the darke : ●●en so these pictures ●eing hidden in tene●is , could not be dis●rned , untill the prin●r brought them to light , and set the forth to the view the world . and the●fore as they lived darknesse , and proc●ded from a minde 〈◊〉 of darke thoughts , have given them darke dedication since for my self i desire to bee ignot● unknowne to other and for you to who i present them , i kno● no fame can redou● unto you by the ●●eane essayes , which ●ere written ocium ●agis foventes , quàm stu●entes gloriae , as sheap●eards play upon their ●aten pipes , to recre●te themselves , not to get credit . however ▪ 〈◊〉 you finde hereafter ●hat these pictures are ●ot shadowed forth with those lively and exact lineaments , which are required in a character , yet i hope you will pardon the painter , since all i promise is onely this : vt cum agis nihil , haec legas & ne nihil agas , defendas ; that when you have nothing to doe , if you reade them , they will keepe you from doing nothing . and so i leave them as a testimony of my love , presuming of your kind acceptation . f. tuus . w. s. to the reader . since the title is the first leafe that cōmeth under censure , some perhaps will dislike the name of pictures , and say , i have no colour for it ; which i confesse , for these pictures are not drawne in colours , but in characters , representing to the eye of the minde divers severall professions , whith if they appeare more obscure than i could wish ; yet i would haue you know , that it is not the nature of a character to be as smooth as a bull-rush , but to have some fast and loose knots , which the ingenious reader may easily untye . the first picture , is the description of a maide , which youngmen may reade , and from thence learne to know , that vertue is the truest beauty . the next follow in their order , being set together in ●his little booke , that in winter you may reade ●hem ad ignem , by the fire side , and in summer ad umbram , under some shadie tree , and there with passe away the tedious houres . so hoping of thy favourable censure , knowing that the least judicious are most ready to judge : i expose them to thy view , with appelles motto , ne sutor ultra crepidam . lastly , whether you like them , or leave them , yet the author bids you welcome : thine as mine , w. s. the table . the world. . an old man. . a woman . . a widdow . . a true lover . . a countrey bride . . a ploughman . . a melancholy man. . a young heire . . a scholler in the vniversity . . a lawyers clarke . . a townesman 〈◊〉 oxford . . an vsurer . . a wandring rogue . . a waterman . . a shepheard . . a iealous man. . a chamber laine . . a mayde . . a bayley . . a petty countrey fayre . . a countrey alehouse . . a horse race . . a farmers daughter . . a keeper . . a gentlemans house in the countrey . . finis . the author on his poeme of a mayde . some jealous braine may here demand in haste , can this mayd that 's so vendible be chaste ? that stands t' allure her lovers on each stall , her liberall beauty so expos'd to all ? i answer , not ; thy selfe , thy selfe deceive ; 't is in thy choyce to love , to like , or leave : yet thus much ; should she prove more light than meet , she could but thus do penance in a sheet . a mayde the argument . first , a nominall definition of the title of mayde ; with the description of that habituated innocencie which should be in them that challenge● at appellation , advising the preservation thereof : ● also a moderation in their carriage : first , nega●●vely , that they be not too coy , nor too kinde : then ●ffirmatively , that they be modest , curteous , con●ant : and lastly , the object , and finall cause of this ●idestie , which though last in action , is first in 〈◊〉 : marriage . a mayde . when god this universall world had fram'd , he plac'd the epitomy of his worke therein , a virgin man and woman , both unstaynd ; ●or adam knew not eve , till he knew sin . whence those that live a single life are said , still to be mayds , because at first so made . the ●ame of mayd we take not in that sense , for that which two may lose but neither win , but for a habit of chaste innocence ; by time and custome introduc'd within : a constant brest which goodnesse doth containe for love of goodnesse , not for feare of fame . and she in whom this habit we doe finde , comes neerest sure unto her first creation , whose body pure containes a purer minde ; whose thoughts ne're fed on ill by speculation : many are guiltlesse of the active part , who yet commit the adulteries of the heart . 't is not enough for to deserve the name of mayde , because in act● she is one ; perhaps potentia wanted to 〈◊〉 blame , had that beene granted she had then beene none : or circumstances wanted , not her will , of time , and place , concurrent to be ill . thus forced chastitie no praise yet found , there 's no resistanc● where there 's no temptation● where 's no assault no victory is crownd , she merrits most , where 's most solicitation : who being tempted , makes her lookes speake no , cooling unchast desires like winters snow . 't is no first pleasures of a maydens bed , which do at once find out their birth , and death , which can deserve the name of maydenhead , whose lives are like our winter mornings breath ; thus ridled : a blacke lambe with blue feete , here i have 't , but yonder now i see 't . the name of maidenhead to maids assignd for modesty which should in them shine cleere : a maid from modesty may be defind , who rather strives to be so than appe●re , whose harmlesse thoughts ne're knew yet to begin to frame or shape out any formes of sin . a maid thus shown , i next would have her warnd how she her modesty do lay at stake , she that 's forewarn'd may likewise be forearm'd , to keepe what none but by exchange can take , and from her modesty ne're to make divorce , till 〈◊〉 marriage shall the same enforce . for this once lost , who can againe repaire ? who can call backe the quicke thoughts of the braine ? or who can make words trusted to the aire , revert unto their owner backe againe ? so ●he that once to do this hath begun , can ne're undoe what once she hath undon . she then that knows the worth of this chast habit should still beware of any rash privation , since being totall it can ne're admit , vnto a habit any backe regression : water once spilt , who can againe recover ? and this once lost , is lost ( they say ( for ever . and if this can't the looser thoughts restraine , of some to keepe within their maiden state : let them cast up their losses with their gaine , they 'le buy repentance at too deere a rate : when one fled moment shall at once begin , and terminate fond pleasure , not their sin . let her consider last the shame hence got , which does reflect at once on more than one , and like some murdering peece insteed of shot , disperses shame on more than her alone : for ill fame still , than good is longer liv'd , and to the stocke and familie is deriv'd . and yet 't is hard for woman to deserve , by thought and deed this maiden appellation : and yet more hard the same still to preserve , vnlesse by helpe of modest education ; by this perhaps she may be taught to frame a maiden carriage , to a maiden name . 〈◊〉 or mayds are vessels , and but weake ones too , 〈◊〉 that if goodnesse be not streight instild , they take in pride , and love though steept in rue : they know no vacuum but must still be fild . ●ood counsels seasoning makes a virgin last , ●s vessels ever of first liquors taste . at fifteene yeeres some notions gin to lulke , of generall evill in a maidens brest , and then the appetite begins to worke , on what the fancy did at first suggest . for ovid need not in strickt rules have showne , the art of love , which maids can learne alone . those younger yeeres are flexible , their will ●s soone seduc'd to act some fond transgression , and soone consent importun'd once to ill , like virgins waxe receiving all impression ; or like some flower which doth in growth proceed , themselves got up , streight haste to run to seed . or like unto an early rose new blowne , which each hand strives to plucke from off the stem ; so being ripe they are assoone too gone , and shall be sure to be attempted then . if vertues force secure them not , they stand like the poore rose obnoxious to each hand ▪ what did availe acrisius thickest guardes , when iove did fall downe in a golden showre in danaes lap ? he past then all those wards , and to deny him then she had no power . with maids when one way failes another takes , when lovers like to proteus change their shapes . 't is no cold walls , or nunnery , no false spies that can secure a maid that 's once inclind to ill : though wacht by jealous argus eyes , to act her thoughts a time yet will she find : there is no way to keepe a maid at all , but when herselfe is like a brazen wall : that can repell mens flatteryes though afarre , and make her lookes her liking soone to show , which like a frost such thoughts as lustfull are , nips in the blossome ere they ranker grow . since then the eye , and gesture speake the heart , a maiden carriage is a maids chiefe art. first , she should not be coy , or proud withall , though she alone were natures master-peece ; nor yet shew undeserued scorne to all , and thinke herselfe a second iasons fleece : whom none but he that ventures life must please , and like to iason saile the graecian seas . 〈◊〉 by scorne their ruine thus procure , ●●ting their thoughts soare higher than their place , ●●e yet at last stoopt to some vulgar lure , 〈◊〉 so remaind the objects of disgrace : 〈◊〉 scorne doth still this punishment obtaine , ●●eed of pittie to find scorne againe . ●●uld all perfections that do women grace , ●●joying one whereof , makes many proud , ●●all contracted in one maidens face ; 〈◊〉 should not keepe them maskt up in a cloud , 〈◊〉 let her beauty which makes lovers pine , ●●●ike the sunne , on all at once to shine . 〈◊〉 since their lookes at once can cure & wound , 〈◊〉 like achilles lance , both hurt and heale , ●●ould not have them cruell tyrants found , ●●hen lovers do for favour once appeale . 〈◊〉 just god cupid will revenge that wrong , ●hen lovers are befoold and scornd too long . 〈◊〉 not too coy , so likewise not so kind 〈◊〉 should not be , as straightway to be mov'd ●ith the false gales of every flattering wind , 〈◊〉 give all cause to thinke themselves belov'd : 〈◊〉 love should passive be , so love t' entertaine , 〈◊〉 be belov'd , not loving all againe . for she that scatters out her love 'mongst many , since love and truth admits of no division , can ne're be truly said yet to love any ; for love and truth remaine entirely one : let maids then give to one their loves and selfe , to be a monarchy , no commonwealth . though good be better'd by community ▪ yet since that love and soveraignty do know no partners , but consists in unity : maids should not let their loves too cōmon grow ●●or't holds in them , though not in matters civill , a common good is but a private evill . for who 'd spend time in such a vaine assault , to gaine her love , who if she yeeld the same , like some french castell will assoone revoult , and let another streight the same obtaine ? she should be proofe against the falsest flattery , and ne're to yeeld upon the strongest battery . for as those virgins from the sunne alone , kindle their vestall lamps , and if the same be once extinct , they can renew't from none vnhallowed fire but from the sun againe . so maids love should be like that sacred fire , and both from one take light , in one expire . thus by opposing contraries together , mayds may from hence avoyd each rash extream● , and since that contraries best do show each other , they may from hence draw forth the golden mean by participation : which they shall find i● to be curteous , not too coy ; too kind . and by a wise discretion well should know , not to be coy to quench all lovers fires ; nor yet so kind but that she can too show scornefull neglect on mens unchast desires : to mixe these passions well should be her care , to cherish chast hopes , make unchast despaire . she may be curteous when that lovers woe , yet not seeme easie streight to condescend to her inferior and her equall too , yet not below her selfe seeme to descend : she must from time and place take chiefe direction , and from the person vary speech and action . next curteous , chast she should be , not for feare , truth●telling time her shame at last might show , but 'cause she loves her chastitie so deare , she would not loos 't , though none the losse might know : ●or 't is no thankes to her whom none did woe to be a mayd : since 't is an act of two . and to remaine so , let them shun such pleasure as doth pervert the mind by strong temptation ; then let some businesse give their thoughts no leasure ; for i allow not maids much contemplation , since they do seldome such a subject find , as may informe , but often hurt the mind . nor should they reade books which of some fond lover , the various fortunes and adventures show ; nor such as natures secrets do discover , since still desire doth but from knowledge grow : these bookes if that within the brest remaine , one sparke of ill will blow 't into a flame . nor too indulgent to herselfe become , since by soft ease , and by too lofty fare , rebel desires unto their objects runne , and for the raines of reason do not care : for ease instils a secret close desire , and bacchus helps to kindle venus fire . and much lesse should shee through a gadding mind , converse with women whose suspected fame , may her disgrace , since that we often find , vices elixar turnes us to the same . ill women oft spoyle mayds by conversation , and in the patient worke assimilation . thus she should still be chast , but not enforc'd to keepe this maiden chastitie for ever , since 't is but kept for to be lost at last , and like a flower will , if not gatherd wither ▪ for 't is the finall cause of maidens carriage , to gaine themselves a fit , and timely marriage . they have no way advancement to derive vnto themselves , but when they match aright , for 't is their marriage must them honour give , they shine but with a mutaticious light : for womens honours , from their husbands come , as cynthia borrowes lustre from the sunne . and sure the fittest time love to engage , is when to youth , time doth discretion bring , for who can love the winter of her age , that ne're enioy'd part of youthfull spring ▪ let them improve their time then , least at last , the brazen head in them speake , time is past . and since that marriage is a strickt relation , me thinkes good counsell were not here in vaine , that they be sure to make a good foundation , since that they cannot play their cast againe : for hence their future good is lost or wonne , and once to erre , is still to be undone . yet to propound such rules i do not know , by which their choyce herein may never faile , since he that feares the winde shall never sowe , nor he yet build , that counsell takes of all . in somethings we can but advise our best , but must commit to fortune all the rest . first , let not then the love of wealth so sway their minds to match with age , for then they must but sacrifice their youth up as a pray , to feed the vulture of some beastly iust : and what can be more horrid thought or said , than aged impotency is unto a maid ? for though that beauty can make age turne lover and like medeas charmes can youth advance , and dead desires againe to life recover , which streight againe are kild with dalliance : yet all this fire is but like sparkes that lye conceald in ashes , lives ▪ and so doth dye . nor yet to match with some rich suite of cloaths some outside , being but a man in seeming , that can set forth his love with gracefull oathes ; protesting that which is not worth beleeving : his love is lust , fruition to obtaine , which once enioy'd , his love turnes ha●e againe . nor yet with some young beardlesse heire to lye , who like adonis would some venus tyre , to prompt his boyish thoughts which stili did flie her meaning , and could raise but quench no fire , a shadow there of marriage but appeares , when there 's so great disparity of yeares . but let her chuse out one that may but be her iust immediate senior , for 't is ever observ'd that they doe alwaies best agree , who have both spent their youth & age together . but that they prosper'd who can e're remember , when youthfull may was match't with cold december ? and much lesse should they be enforc't to love , or swayd to like by some match-making mother ; but where equality of desires do move , first ●et them like , and after paire together : when that his yeeres , her yeeres do equalize , and when their natures both do sympathize . and if she chuse she must too likewise take , letting her love in one begin and end ; she must be fixt and but one center make , to which the lines of her affection tend : for she must be a subject but to one , whose being must consist in her alone . if of love she make a deed of gift , and before witnesse do confirme the same , for to revoke it backe she has no shift , or to reverse her deed thus made againe : her love thus given to one she can't deny , since in loves court no writs of error lye . her word must here irrevocable stand , more fixt than any chancery decree , which as though written by the eternall hand , can ne're be alterd by posterity . for let her thinke when once she plights her love , the same is registred streight in heaven above . but such a lover let her still detest , who 'fore the appointed day of resignation , would of her modesty be fore-possest , by an old figure of praeoccupation . 't is lust that hunts thus hotly to obtaine , when true love seekes but love for love againe . for when the tirian queene did make her feast , she should not then have let aeneas tasted those pleasures which she might have wisely gest , by their enioying would be soone too wasted . for nature can't her actions so suspend , but having once begun , she hasts to end . let her not then be drawne to make surrender , of that which doth so sweeten expectation , that lovers even joy when they remember , the day shall give their hopes full consummation : when she with blushes shall unwilling yeeld , and weakely striving lose at last the field . this day once come , she must then understand , that marriage is a tenure not at will , but with her heart to one must give her hand , to hold for terme of life , for good or ill ; the church affoords but witnesse to this act , till both the parties seale to this contract . and now 't is time to bid the bride good-night , having brought her thither where she now must leave , the thought of father , mother , & delight in one alone , and unto one must cleave ; tying their loves with such a gordian knot , none can but death like alexander cut . finis . picturae loquentes . or pictvres drawne forth in characters . . the world. is a stage , men the actors , who seldome goe off with an applause , often are hist at . or it may bee likened to a scale or praedicament of relation , wherin the king is the summum genus , under whom are many subordinate degrees of men , till at last wee descend to the begger the infima species of mankind , whose misery cannot be subdivided into any lesser fortune . the world contemns a scholler , and learning makes a scholler contemn the world . arts and sciences are accounted here meere speculations , terminated onely in the knowledge of their subjects ; and therefore the most study the great volume of the world , and striue to reduce knavery to practise . poverty is accounted as spreadingly contagious as the plague , he that is infected with it is shun'd of all men , and his former friends looke upon him as men looke upon dials with a skew countenance , and so finding him in the afternoone of ●his fortunes , passe by him . acquaintance is heere chosen with the bravest , not with the wisest : and a good shute makes a man good company . the cheefest goddesse heere ador'd is riches , she might have her temple as well as iuno , minerva , and the rest , but in liew thereof shee takes up every mans heart , and for her sacrifice exacts their first morning thoughts , so that the most universall government is now a ploutocracy . friends are onely here but concomitants of felicity , being like the leaves of trees which sticke to them close in summer , but fall off from them in winter when they most neede them . to make love the foundation of marriage is contem'd as befitting the innocency of arcadian sheapheards , and therefore now they marry portions and take wifes as things to boote . this perhaps glewes the eldest sister into some foolish family , while the younger perhaps has nothing but naturs talent , which while she puts to use , spoyles all . when men looke for happines here , t is a signe they expect none above , striving to make heaven descend to earth , as though they were loath to take the paines to goe thither . to conclude and not flatter the world , shee is the fooles paradise , the wise mans skorne , the rich mans heaven who is miserably happy , the poore mans hell who is happily miserable , for these two shall hereafter exchange their condition . . an old man. is loath to bid the world goodnight , hee knowes the grave is a long sleepe , and therefore would sit up as long as he could . his soule has long dwelt in a ruinous tenement , and yet is so unwilling to leave it that it could be content to sue the body for reparations . he lives now but to be a burthen to his friends , as age is to him , and yet his thoughts are as farre from death as he is nigh it . howsoever time be a continued motion , yet the dyall of his age stands still at . that 's his age for ten yeeres afterward , and loues such a friend that like a flattering glasse tels him hee seemes far younger . his memory is full of the actions of his youth , which he often historifies to others in tedious tales , and thinks they should please others because himselfe . his discourses are full of parenthesis , and his wordes fall from him as slowly as water from an alimbeck ; drop by drop . he loves the chimney corner and his chaire which he brags was his grandfathers , from whence he secures the cubboard from the catts and dogges , or the milke from running over , and is onely good to build up the architecture of a seacole fyre by applying each circumstant cynder . when his naturall powers are all impotencyes , hee marries a young wench for warmth sake , and when he dyes makes her an estate durante viduitate onely for widdowhood . at talke hee commonly uses some proverbiall verses gathered perhaps from cheese-trenchers or schola salerna , which he makes as applyable , as a mountebancks plasters to all purposes , all occasions . he cals often to the servingman for a cup of sacke , and to that end stiles him friend ; and wonders much that new wine should not bee put in old ●ottels . though the proverbe be , once a man and ●wice a child , yet he hopes from his second childhood ●o runne backe into his ●eenes , and so be twice a man too . lastly , he 's a ●andle burnt to the snuffe , she ruines onely of a man , whose soule 〈◊〉 the salt of his body to keepe it from stincking , and can ●carcely performe that ●oo . . a woman . is the second part of the little volume of man , and differs from him onely in her errataes , which can't be mended , because shee comes out worst still in the last impression . though mens desires range after variety , yet they finde no change , since in one woman all are epitomizd ; for nature is a skilfull painter and seldome erres , shee that drew one , drew all . the cheefect object of their creation is procreation , and the continuation of the species of mankinde ; for when god first gave her to man , he gave her with this blessing , increase and multiply . she was then call'd a helper , and so shee is still ; for to many she helpes to vndoe them . shee 's like unto a running lottery ; a man may draw forty blanks before hee gets one prize . her apparell is but like a sauce to a good dish , to stirre and provoke the appetite to take a taste of her selfe : or like an envious curtayne , which our fancy perswades us conceales many rarityes from us , but being once withdrawne failes much in the expectation : shee may be ty'rd before satiated , and therefore is one of salomons three things that cry , give , give , hell , woman , and the grave . for her teares they must be distinguisht , for they are not onely the effects of sorrow , sometimes of deceit , sometimes anger , and can bid them flow in a plentifull manner when shee list . shee 's full of mutability and like aprill weather , can laugh and weepe at once . or shee 's like a stratagem of warre , which admits of no second errors , for to him that marryes a woman ; once to erre is for ever to be undone . if shee have beauty shee growes proud oft at fifteene , begins to looke for suters , and baites them with laying forth her haire , smothing the superficies of her face , and frequents publick meetings that she may the better publish her beauty , which she knowes is a flower will not long last , and therefore desires it may bee soone gathered . shee is naturally curious and inquisitiue to know all things , but carelesse to conceale any . and hee that commits a secret to her , may as well put water into a sive or cullender , and may looke to have both kept alike . lastly , shee is but a costly vanity , the folly of wise men , the shell of our generation , more deceitefull than horseflesh ; an instument that may bee easily plaid upon , for it ha's but one stoppe , and yet that makes musicke too . . a widdow . is like a cold pye thrust downe to the lower end of the table , that has had too many fingers in 't , or the last letter of the greeke alphabet omega . to a younger brother shee 's a reversion after three lives● for after the death of three husbands , shee commonly ●elpes to reedifie his rui●ous fortunes againe . if hee be rich , her chamber ●ntertaynes more suters ●●an a lawyars does clients 〈◊〉 terme time , and for ●hat purpose keepes a wai●ing gentlewoman , upon ●hom she pretends to be●tow the dowry of a good ●ducation , but indeed uses ●er as a portall to a great ●oome to give accesse to ●rangers . shee praises ●uch her former husband , ●or whom while shee ●ournes in her gowne shee ●aughs in her sleeve , to ●hinke how shee shall gull ●er following sutors with this formality of sorrow whiles shee enforces 〈◊〉 customary sigh as a tribute to the memory of her bes● deceased . hee that marryes her condemnes him selfe perpetually to digg● in a colepit , and insteed o● rosemary may carry ru● to the church , for the plague followes him . she 's a good logician , and seldome denies the major often the minor , because shee knowes ther 's small force or validity in 't . her daughters ( if she have any ) out of the guilty consciousnesse o● her owne youth , are foulded up a nights in her owne chamber for feare of straying , and in the day time mewd up in some inner parler to be objects of a strangers salutation , who is more tyrd to salute them , than a french cooke that hath many dishes to taste which gives the best relish . shee must be wooed in a ●onverted order from a maide , for in the one wee must begin from love to end in action , but in the other from action to gaine ●oue . for her apparell 't is much like herself , too much porne , and serves but as a ●ainted cloath to cover a ●otten wall . her house is ●ell furnished both for or●ament and use , onely herselfe is the worst peece in 't . she condemns much the hasty marriage of mayds , when herselfe thought fifteene too long . her rings are so many cheates from severall suters , in one of which shee commonly weares a deaths head , but is indeed herselfe a better embleame of mortality for memento mori like a motto to bee written in her forehead . lastly shee 's a canceld bond that has beene long before seal'd and delivered , and is now growne out of date . . a true lover . is one whose soule hath made choyce of a mistrisse to serve and obey : and this service proceeds not from feare but love , and he loves wer not for her beauty , but ●or her inward vertue , which shines through the coverings of her body , as gold worke shadowed un●er lawne . his desires are so chast that if he thought enjoying would abate his ●ove , he had rather still love ●han injoy . in his visits hee ●ses a playne eloquence , as ●est becomming the truth of his affections , telling her that he loves her , and then supplyes the rest with sighs . if she wish for any thing , her wishes are his commands , and he runnes to provide it for her . if his mistrisse bee wrong'd , hee makes his owne sword , the sword of justice to right her , and he thinkes injur't loue the fairest quarrell ▪ hee loves her not for wealth or portion , but per se that is , for herselfe , and could bee content to take her as adam tooke eve , though shee were naked when shee speakes hee thinkes he heares the lute of orpheus , and so stands amaz'd like a wondring statue , till the close of her speech dis-enchants him . if her answer be full of scorne and disdaine , hee retires to some solitary place , breathing forth his complaint to rocks & mountaines , where eccho from her hollow dwelling replyes againe : and when he cryes shee is cruell , eccho cryes againe shee is cruell too , and so pleases his sad minde by soothing up his sorrowes . thus her frownes become his frenzy , he knowes not what to doe , fayne hee would doe something , but then he dislikes that something , and so does just no●hing . if he take his lute , he quarrels with the strings , and cannot please himselfe in tuning it ; when indeede the discord is in his owne thoughts . if at last shee vouchsafe to write to him , hee receives her letter with more adoration than a sybils leafe , and having bestowed some kisses on the paper , opens it to know the blest contents , and in answering it spends much time , before hee can resolve what to answer . yet at last love quickens his invention , and fils his brayne with choyse fancies , while he invokes no other muse but his mistrisse . thus he lives like a man tost in cupids blanket , and yet is so constant to his sufferings , that he could be content to be loves martir , and dye in the flames of love , onely to have this epitaph : heere lyes the true lover . . a country bride . is a sacrifize to venus ; led to church by two young batchlers . and all the way is pavd with strewings on which shee treads so lightly , that shee hardly bruses a gentle flower , while the maids attend upon her with rosemary and ribbons , the ensignes of a wedding . being come to church , her marriage knot is soone tyde , and the ring put on her thumbe , as an embleme of affection , which like a circle should be endlesse . the fidlers now crou'd on , till being come home the mysterious bride-cake is broke over their heads , in the remembrance of the ould romane custome of confarreation ; and afterwards she is plac'd at the upper end of the table to denoate her supremacy in houshold matters . heere she minces it , and is ready to cut her fingers with too much modesty , while the name of bride makes her simper like a pot that 's ready to run o're , for shee conceits , some strange matters , and could wish the day were shorter though it be at christmas . dinner once done they fall to country dances , where the lusty laddes take the bride to taske , and all to bepecke the floore with their hobnayles , while they bestirre themselves out of measure , and are onely rewarded with a concluding smack from the brides lips . thus the bride is but the maygame of a country village , that fil's the towne with mirth and musicke : till night comes , and then shee is layd in her husbands armes , where the curtaines being drawne , wee must leave them , and leave you to thinke out the rest your selfe . . a ploughman . is the earths midwife , & helpes to deliver her of her yearely burthen . his labour frees her in part from the curse of the barrennesse , which shee repayes againe with a fruitfull crop . hee 's the best vsurer , for when he sowes the grayne , hee lookes to have it repayd with the sevenfold interest . his antiquity is from abel , the first tiller of the ground , and himselfe goes like an adamite alwayes in skinne . when he hangs betweene the ploughstilts , you have his true posture , where hee 's seldome an upright man , for he leanes most to one side . a whole flight of crowes follow him for their food , and when they fly away they give him ill language . the smell of the earth makes him hungry , for hee brings home an invincible stomach , and nothing holds him tacke but a barley pudding . hee unyokes with the sunne , and so comes whisling home his teame , which consists of horse or oxen , and his care is to see them meated before himselfe . this done hee 's set to supper , where his meales are not lasting because violent ; for hee eates hard for the time , and when he finds himselfe satisfied , puts up his knife , with a god be praysed . in the winter nights the mending of his whip or shooes find him businesse , and for that purpose buyes hob-nayles at faires . his greatest pride is a faire bandpoynt , and to weare a posy in his hat snatcht from the maid ioane . hee prayes onely for a faire seedetime , and of all dayes will bee sure to keep plough-munday . if he fall in love , hee 'le be sure to single her out at the next wake to dance with , and layes such blowes on her lips you may heare the smacke afarre off . if shee reject him , he growes melancholy , and insteed of sighes whistles out his breath ; and if hee have a riuall , challenges him at footeball . rainy dayes makes him onely idle , for when he cannot plough yet he goes to the harrow because 't is an alehouse . here he dare lose his two pots at noddy and spends his hostesse more chalke to reckon it than her gaines are worth . in a word though he have no signe , hee 's the lands cheefe victualer , a good harvest is ▪ his happinesse , and the last seede hee sowes is his owne bodye which he knowes like his graine , though it seeme to perish , yet shall spring againe . . a melancholy man. is a full vessell which makes not so great a sound , as those that are more empty and answer to every knocke . his wise parsimony of words shewes more wisedome , than their many , which are oftentimes more than wise . hee can be merry without expressing it by an ignorant laughter : and if his company screw themselves up to an excessive straine of mirth ; he proves amongst them but like a jarring string to a consort of musicke , and cannot raise himselfe to so high a note of jollity . when other men strive to seeme what they are not , hee alone is what he seemes not , being content in the knowledge of himselfe , and not waying his owne worth in the ballance of other mens opinions . if he walke and see you not , 't is because his mind being busied in some serious contemplation , the common sense has no time to judge of any sensuall object . hee 's hardly with much invitation drawne to a feast , where every man sits an observer of another mans action , and had rather with diogenes wash his owne roots at home , than with aristippus frequent the court of kings . his actions shew no temerity , having beene long before intentions , and are at last produc'd as the ripe issue of a serious , and deliberate resolution . his speech shewes more matter in 't than words , and like your gold coyne contaynes much worth in a little , when other mens is but like brass-farthings , and expresses little in much . as his apprehensions so his passions , are violent and strong , not enduring on the suddaine any opposition of good counsell , but like a torrent beares downe all before it . if he fall in love , he wooes more by letter than his owne presence , and is not hasty in the desire of fruition . his apparell is playne like himselfe , and shewes the riches of his mind , which contemnes a gaudy outside as the badge of fooles . he goes therefore commonly in blacke , his hat unbrusht , a hasty gate with a looke fixt on the ground , as though he were looking pins there , when yet his mind is then soaring in some high contemplation ; and is then alwayes most busy , when hee seemes most idle . . a young heire . is a gamester at noddy , one and twenty makes him out , if he have a flush in his hand , expect him shortly to shew it without hiding his cardes . for his fathers avarice hee runs into the other extreame prodigality ; his hand is of the quality of lightening , which melts his money in his purse , but leaves his purse entirely whole . in all companies though almost his equalls , he arrogates to himselfe supremacy of payment , and like a good souldier withstands all the shot , letting none disperse among the rest . during his minority hee 's but a companion to servingmen , who quickly make him proud by buzzing him in the eare with his future inheritance . next to his father he looks for a secondary respect from the tenants , and is much affected with the title of young landlord . his mothers indulgence keepes him still at home , like a b●rd in a cage , so that when he gets forth hee 's soone ensnar'd by any shee fowler and fals downe to her stales straightway . when hee has wit enough to divide commons , hee 's sent perhaps to oxford , and having stayd there the dabling of a fresh mans growne , comes home againe , being content rather to eate suger-plums at home , than taste there of the bitter roote of learning . from hence hee 's transported to the inns of court , and dotes much upon the first chapter of littletons tenures concerning feesimple , because his owne estate . his fathers long life is his lingring sicknesse , and wishes to be once able to say the first petition of our lords prayer , our father which art in heaven . after his decease , hee takes armes afresh of the herauld , and payes for crest , and motto . hee walkes now next to the wall with a sweld countenance , and speakes as hautily to his inferiours , as though he had swallowed a lordship already , and the steeple stuck in his throate . his knowne estate in the countrey proposes him varieties of matches , and his wealth , not his witt win's him affection . hee 's now beholding to poets for lovesonnetts , and the posy of his wedding ring . beeing thus fixt in one center , his next ambition is to bee prickt downe iustice of peace ; now his warrants have more vertue in them than himselfe . hee 's terrible now to his tennants , and by his authority can out of his chaire nodde a beggar to the stockes . in his discourse his inferiors must now grant him the better , and at his owne table if hee breake a saltlesse jest , all must applaud him . thus hee lives till time making him grow ould , what was folly in youth now proves dotage , having his desires of his fathers death punisht now at last in the same desires of his heyre , who would gladly give cloakes for him without mourning , and afterwards bury him in the sepulchar of his fathers . . a scholler in the vniversity , may bee knowne by a harmelesse innocent looke ; his nose seemes to be raw for want of fyres in winter , and yet has such a quicke sent , that he quickly smells out his chopt mutton commons a farre off . in his freshmanship hee 's full of humility , but afterward ascends the steps of ambition by degrees . he studies so long words of art , that all his learning at last is but an art of words . his discourse is alwayes grounded out of aristotle , in whose 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 hee puts as much confidence as in his creede . in his letters hee 's often ready to shake the whole frame of the sense to let in some great word , affecting a nonsenticall eloquence before propriety of phrase ; if hee were compeld to salute a gentlewoman , hee would tremble more than ever hee did in pronouncing his first declamation . hee often frequents booke-binders shops , for his unconstant humour of tumbling over many bookes , is like a sicke mans pallat , which desires to taste of every dish but fixes on none . the vniversity library is his magazine of learning , where hee 'le be sure to bee seene in his formalityes assoone as hee s graduated ; for the liberty thereof expresses him a batchelour . he earnestly enquires after the weekely currantoes , and swallowes downe any newes with great confidence . his cheefest curtesy to strangers , is to shew you his colledge buttery , and to skonce himselfe a halfepeny farthing for your ententainement . if you seeme to admire the names of their small divisions , as halfepeny , farthing , and the like , out of a selfe simplicity he straight laughes at your ignorance . and if you contend for priority in going forth , puts you downe with a stale complement . 〈◊〉 est peregrini . when he makes a journey 't is in the vacation , and then hee canvises a fortnight aforehand amongst his friends for bootes and spurres . his purse like the sea is governd by the moone , for he has his severall ebbes and tides , according as hee receives his severall exhibitions from his friends . lastly , hee weares out a great deale of time there to know what kind of animal he is , contemns every man that is not a graduate if himselfe be one , and because he professes himselfe a scholler , goes commonly in blacke , and many times 't is all he has to shew for 't . . a lawyers clearke . his father thought it too chargable to keepe him at schoole til he could reade harry stottle , and therefore preferd him to a man of law. his maister is his genius , and dictates to him before he sets pen to paper . if he be to make a bond or bill , for feare of writing false latin , he abbreviates the ending and termination of his word with a dash , and so leaves it doubtfull . he sits night the dore to give accesse to strangers , and at their going forth gives them a legge in expectation . his master is a cunning jugler of lands and knowes how to convay them underhand , hee onely coppyes them over againe , and lookes for a fee for expedition . his utmost knowledge is the names of the courts and their severall offices , and begins after a while like a pie that his tongue slit , to chatter out some tearmes of law , with more audacity than knowledge : at a new play hee 'le be sure to be seene in the threepeny roome , and buyes his pippins before he goes in , because hee can have more for mony . when hee heares some stale jest ( which he best apprehends ) he fils the house with an ignorant laughter . he weares cutfingerd dogskin gloves , for his ease , or the desire of bribes makes his hands grow itchy . in the vacation his master goes into the countrey to keepe courts , and then hee 's tide to a cloakebagge and rides after him . he cals himselfe the hand of the law , and commends the wisedome thereof , in having so many words goe to a bargaine , for that both lengthens them , and makes his fees the larger . hee would faine read littleton if he might have a comment on him , otherwise hee 's too obscure , and dotes much on wests symboliography for teaching him the forme of an acquittance . in his freshmanship he hunts after cheape venerye , and is in debt to the cooke , for eele pyes on fasting dayes , and friday nights . the corruption of him is a weake atturney , then he trafiques with countrymens businesses , and brings them downe a bill of charges , worse than a taylers for a suite in the last fashion , and here we leave him , for now hee 's at the highest . . a townesman in oxford . is one that hath long liv'd by the well of knowledge , but never sipt at it , for he loves no water in his wine , though it come frō hellicon . hee gaynes most by the recentity of freshmen , unto whom he sticks as close as a horseleech , till hee have suckt out the superfluity of their purses . his wife commonly makes him free by her owne coppy , and in spight of pembroke colledge keepes open broade-gates still . hee loves not a scholler in his heart , for he sides against them in any faction though it be but at a match at footeball . his phrase savours somewhat of the university , being fragments glean'd from other mens mouthes , and gives his words such a punctuall stiffe pronunciation , as though they were starcht into his mouth , and durst not come out faster for feare of ruffling . a scholler had better take up any wares of his wife than of him , for hee 'le bee sure to make them pay for the expectation of their carrier . he takes ill words because he knowes he deserves them , and yeelds the supremacy of the wall to any gowne . if the opinion of his riches chuse him alderman , he thinkes himselfe as wise as any romane senator , after this if he can but call a poore man rogue , and reade a proclamation , hee may bee thought eligible for maior . he frequents sermons at st. maryes onely to spye out his debters , whom he afterwards haunts at their colledge , aud troubles with knocking at their chamber dores , but receives no answer , for hee 's knowne as well there as a sergeant in the innes of court , and alike hated . hee 's no logician , and yet sometims concludes a syllogisme in bocardo , and is hardly reduc'd from thence . lastly , hee 's a burre that stickes close to freshmens gownes , a seducer of hopefull wits , & one that strives to wrythe the pliantnesse of youth to all ill actions . . an vsurer . mvst be drawne like to those pictures that have a double aspect , which if you behold one way seemes to be a man , but the otherway a divell . hee grounds the lawfulnesse of his vsury from the parable , wherein the servant was not approv'd of , that had not inprov'd his talent , hee 'le be sure therefore not to hide his , but make the best use of it . hee gets into mens estats as cutpurses get cloakes in the night , if he can but winde himselfe into a peece of 't , hee 'le bee sure to get it all at last . or like an essex ague , will shake whole lordships into a consumption . his case for heaven is very dangerous , because he sins still with security . hee 's an excellent cooke to dresse a young heire , for hee first pluckes off his feathers , and afterwards serves him up to the world with woodcocke sauce . his clearke is the vulcan , that forges the bonds and shackels which he imposes on other men . if you come to borrow money of him , if hee feele out your necessity , hee 'le be sure to make you pay for 't , and his first question will bee , what 's your security ? he could finde in his heart to be circumcis'd for a iew , if he thought he might thrive more by his usury . his pining covetous thoughts eates off his flesh from his body , and as though he bad beene layne in lime , makes him looke like a living anatomy . all his life is a goulden dreame , for he dreames of nothing but gould , and this red earth is all the heaven hee expects . to conclude , hee 's one that makes haste to be rich , and therefore can't bee innocent . like theeves he vndoes men by binding them . and lastly , his estate is raysed out of the ruines of whole families , which first sends him in ill getting it , and afterward his sonne in ill spending it , both to the devill ; and there i leave them . . a wandring rogue , is an individuum vagtim , a wandring plannet . he alone contemns fortune , for what shee never gave , shee can never take away from him , the vayles of his apparell is not much worth , for 't is a rapsody of ragges which at michaelmas begins with the leaves of trees to fall off from him and leave him starke naked . hee keepes no table , and yet has a great retinue of hangers on , which almost devoure him alive . if hee had wit he might professe himselfe a lawyer , for he has beene often call'd to the barre , though 't were but to pleade not guilty . hee thinkes himselfe as auncient a gentleman as the best , and can deduce his pettigree from adam . hee professes often fortunetelling by looking in your hand , and yet knowes not his owne for all 't is burnt there . he keepes a catalogue of all gentlemens houses , but dares not come neare a iustice of peaces for feare of his inexorable mittimus . he stiles himselfe a traveller , and indeed it is thought if he had learning , he might make a good description of england , for hee knowes all the high-wayes , though not at his fingers , yet his toes-end . he 's alwayes accompanied with some durty doxie , whom hee never marryes , but lyes with under a hedge , and thinkes it a sure contract , because 't is in the sight of heaven . on the highway if hee meete a travelour unweapon'd , he begges stoutly of him , and so extorts a benevolence rather for feare , than charity . and at last if his heart serve him , hee falls quite from begging to robbing , which he finds more gainefull and ready to preferment , for it advances him to the gallows , and now hee 's at the highest , where wee leave him to make the world his priest by a confession . . a waterman . is like a peece of hebrew spel'd backeward , or the embleame of deceite , for he rowes one way & lookes another . when you come within ken of them , you shall heare a noyse worse than the confusion of bedlem , and if you goe with a skuller , the oares thinke you no gentleman . hee carryes many a banquerout over the water , and yet when he set's them ashore makes them landed men . if you dislike the roughnesse of the water , he warrants you a safe passage , and on that condition , gives you his hand to helpe you into the boate , and his first question is , where you 'le bee ? though hee bee ne're sober yet hee 's ner'e drunke , for he lives by water , and is not covetous to get any great estate , for hee 's best contented when hee goes most downe the winde . a fresh water souldier hee is , and therefore gets to weare some noblemans badge to secure him from pressing . he knowes all newes , and informes men of the names of noble mens houses toward the thames . a man would take him for a very busy fellow , for hee has an oare in every boate , which though it leake not , yet 't is ever ready to take water . hee 's so seldome drunke that 't is chalkt up for a miracle , for he goes commonly on the score . thus he lives and when he dyes , hee 's sure his soule shall passe to the elisian fields , for if charon should deny him passage , hee meanes to steale his boate , and so ferry himselfe over . . a sheapheard . is a happy man , and yet knowes not of it ; his cheefe unhappinesse consists in not knowing his owne happinesse . in summer time hee enthrones himselfe on the top of some high mountaine , from whence his eye is entertayned with variety of landskips , whilst his sheepe promiscuously chuse out the threepild grasse in the valley . hee 's the embleme of a king or priest , and his sheepe are his subjects . he uses his dogge as kings their lawes , oftner to restra●ne than punish offerees ; for if any of his sheepe chance to transgresse the bounds of their sheepewalke , he whistles out his dogge to fetch them in againe . hee makes not his stomacke observe any set times of meales , but makes his meales keepe time with his stomacke , and then sits downe on his grassye carpet , instead of tapestry , and what ever his fare be , content furnisheth out his table . his cheefest ambition is to bee elected the sheapheards king , which he obtaines not by any corrupt suffrage , but by having the first lambe yeand that yeare . his profession is one of the ancientest , and is onely younger brother unto husbandry , as abel was to kaine . whatsoever is fabled of iason , he alone gets the golden fleece without savling for't . to strangers h●e's a living mercury , & if he be layd , poynts them out their way with his foote , instead of his hand , and his knowledge seldome extends farther than the reach of his eye . his common standing posture is crossleggd , and when he drives his sheepe , his lamenesse makes him keepe equall pace with them . when he marries hee 's no ward to have a match inforc'd upon him , but chuses where hee list amongst the sheapherdesses , where a mutuall and reciprocall love on both sides clappes up the match without any by-respect of ioynture . this day the rest of the swaynes ( having first presented his bride unto him crown'd with a chaplet of flowers ) solemnize with dauncing and singing roundelaes , wherein the simplicity of their performance gives a peculiar grace to every action . afterward his care becomes hers , she helpes him to pitch the hurdles , and at night foldes him in her owne armes . hee 's a good phisitian to his sheepe , and his tarrbox affords a generall medicine for any outward application . hee ●ackes nothing but some businesse for his thoughts , for were he a scholler hee has the best leasure for contemplation that could bee . and lastly as alexander wisht if he were not alexander to be diogenes , so if all knew his happinesse , they would wish to bee sheapheards . . a ielous man. his care and feares are all to know what would vex him more being once knowne . his passion proceeds from the superfluity of his love , or from the consciousnesse of some deficiency or inability in himselfe . his unwise and ielous fearefullnesse to bee deceived , often teaches her the way to deceive him , and makes her desirous to prove that difference of other men which he so much suspects . hee dares not invite his friend to his house , for feare hee should salute his wife , which hee esteemes as a prologue to an ensuing comedye . at ●able hee observes upon whom his wife scatters most favorable lookes ( for hee feares there may bee a dialogue of eyes aswell as ●ongues : ) whom shee of●enest drinks to , whom shee ●omes to , and then his sus●ition comments upon every action . hee 's witty in ●●venting trialls of his ●ives chastity , and hee ●retendeth verie often journeyes into the countrey , thereby to make her more secure in his absence , but returnes againe unexpectedly . sometimes hee attends her in unknowne disguises , urges her with earnest sollicitation , and is so hasty for his hornes that he could bee content to bee his owne cuckoldmaker . his ielous thoughts are ready to bastardize his children , and if they bee not in every respect like himselfe , thinkes them not his owne . his feare of being rob'd is worse than the robbery it selfe , a woman being like an untold summe of mony , wherein the honor is ●ot sensible of any small ●hieft . in his thoughts hee ●ommends much the securi●y of the italian padlocke , and could willingly put it ●n practise too . his house ●s divided into factions , ●etts every servant to bee a ●pye over his fellow , and ●ll of them over his wife . ●f she strive to please him , he ●hinkes it 's but to deceive ●im ; if not to please him , ●ee thinkes shee 's better ●leas'd with others . to conclude , hee 's a man pos●est with a mixt passion of ●ove-melancholy , which he more easily entertaines than ●s quit off . his ielousy like ●inegar dryes up his blood ; hence his palenesse . hee wishes himselfe unmaried , and thinks when he chang'd his batchelour buttons for rosemary , hee lost the best flower in his garden . lastly whole numbers may bee made out of fractions , but ielosy makes an irreparable division of love , which growes worse by continuance . . a chamberlaine . is the first squire that gives entertainement to errant strangers . at your first alighting hee straight offers you to see a chamber , but has got the tricke of tradesmen to show you the worst first . hee 's as nimble as hamlets ghost heere and every where , and when he has many guests , stands most upon his pantofl●s , for hee 's then a man of some calling . his gayne consists most in gratuities & retayling of faggotts , wherein hee 's allowd fourteene to the dozen , and what he can over-reckon is his owne gaine . hee 's secretary to the kitching and tapstry , and payes himselfe his owne fees in adding something to every particular . he takes wages of no man , and yet serves every man. hee may seeme a base fellow over night , but in the morning you shall find him a man of some reckoning . when you aske what 's to pay , hee comes downe and returnes againe with a generall totall , which if you dislike , hee offers to prove it by an induction of particular items . your tapster takes great care that your jugges shall ne're be full , and the chamberlayne that they shall ne're b●e empty , for hee 'le carry them away halfe full . you shall sooner get fresh litter for your hor●e , than cleane sh●et●s for your selfe , for hee has a tricke by wetting them to make them feele damp , and so having smooth'd up the matter , if you dislike them , he straight equivocates , and sweares they were never layne in since they were last wet . when hee 's cald up a mornings , he gapes as though he were sea-sicke , and afterward like the embleame of deceit , brings fire in one hand and water in the other . if you save the remainder of your meate for breakefast , hee grumbells , for he holds that tenent , that wee ought not to care for the morrow . lastly , his life for ease is ●ust about serving man-like , and commonly runnes the same fortunes , both in their age overtaking beggery ; but i forbeare any farther description since his picture is drawne to the life in every inne . . a maide . is a fruite that growes ripe at fifteene , and if she bee not then gathered , falls of her selfe . till she bee married she thinkes it long , but afterwards she comes shorter of her expectation . i● she keepe a chambermaide she ly●s , at her bedds feete , and they two say no pater-nosters , but in the morning tell one another all their wanton dream●s , talke all night long of young men , and will be both sure to fast on st agnes night to know who shall bee their first husbands . her desires grow now impatient of delay , nothing being more tedious than a full ripe maiden-head , which shee lets a servingman often obtaine by oportunity . when she 's woo'd , like the lapwing she flyes farthest from her nest ; and because shee can seeme coy in words ; would make you beleeve her thoughts are so too . shee laughs at those that shoote at rovers , and make their owne way difficult , when they might sooner hit the marke , and prove themselves better shooters . if she be troubled with night talking , shee confesses all , and her dreames make her blush awake ; when she falls sicke shee 's much affeard to leade apes in hell , for she would not willingly dye in ignorance : she reades now loves historyes as amadis de gaule and the arcadia , & in them courts the shaddow of love till she know the substance , each morning shee and her glasse helpe to correct the errataes of nature , & comes not out of her chamber till she be fully drest . shee learnes many gracefull qualities as dancing and playing , which all propose to themselves no other end but to hasten her marriage . till which she counts all time as last tarrying , and if her wishes had beene true she had not beene a maide since shee reacht her teenes first . to conclude , shee 's a fading flower , her wedding night withers her , when she rises againe with an innocent blush , and ne're greeves for her losses . . a baylye ▪ is the supervisor of a mannor under the lord of the soyle . the tennants court him to connive at his masters injuries , but yet underhand hee perswades him to enclose his common , in hope to have the yeerely letting of it . though his master bee a prodigall , yet hee strives to inlarge his waste , for hee informes him of all inchroachments . he trusts his tablebooke with much of his businesse , and weares a bre●nors almanacke in his pocket for the blanks-sake . hee can cast his face into a buying or bargaining forme , and can soone reduce pounds , into markes and nobles . hee gives not an account but makes it , and his arithmetick is onely the rule of falshood ; his addition is by counters with which hee casts up his bills , and his skill in geometry serves him to measure a roode of hedging , and to know how many pe●ches are contaynd in an acre . hee informes his master when faires happen , where though hee cheate him in buying and selling , yet at night he makes him a faire reckning . hee has the generall theory of all husbandry , but his businesse is the direction of other mens labours . his diligence in harvest time is exprest , by being seene often afield with a forke on his shoulder , and hee cuts grasse alwayes in the change of the moone . the tennants hold his masters land in occupation , and hee their wives , and for b●friending them in renewing their lease , he seales them without witnesse . he knowes how to bounder land , and counts it a haynous offence to remove a merestone . hee is the apparitour of the parish , and brings in his presentments against the next court day , with what iustice the lord knowes for they are fin'd to them by amercements . . a petty countrey faire . is the publication of some few pedlers packs distinguisht into boothes , which is yet fild with a great confluence of countrey people , who f●ocke thither to buy some triviall necessaries ▪ a farre off it seemes a tumult of white staves , and red petticoates and mu●lers , but when you come nearer they make a fayre shew . the men buy hobnayles and plough-irons , and the woemen houshould trifles , yet such as are for use more than ornament . your countrey gentlewomen come thither to buy bonelace , and london gloves , & are onely knowne by a maske hanging on their cheeke and an anticke plume of feathers in a faire , and t' would doe you good to heare them bargaine in their owne dialect . the inns are this day fild , every man meetes his friend and unlesse they crush a pot they thinke it a dry complement . heere the young lads give their lasses fairrings , which if shee take with a simpring consent , the next sunday their banes are bidden . a balletsinger may be sooner heard heere than seene , for instead of the violl hee sings to the croud . if his ballet bee of love , the countrey wenches buy it , to get by heart at home , and after sing it over their milkepayles . gipsies flocke thither , who tell men of losses , and the next time they looke for their purses , they find their words true . at last after much sweate and trampling too and froe , each one carryes home a peece of the faire , and so it ends . . a countrey alehouse . is the center of the towns good fellowship , or some humble roof't cottage licens'd to sell ale. the inward hangings is a painted cloath , with a row of balletts pasted on it . it smelles onely of smoake and new wort , and yet the usuall guests thinke it a rare perfume . they drinke noe healths here to mistresses , but their onely complement is : here 's to thee neighbour iobson . they pay here by the polle , for they thinke that many purses makes light shots , as many hands light worke . their onely game here is noddy , and that but for a pot of ale for pastime . 't is the marri'd mans sanctuary , whither he flyes to avoyde a scoulding wife at home , and thinkes to drench his cares in this ale lethe . they often make bargaines here , but before they go out , can hardly stand to them . all the postes are creditors , and the chalke like an inseparable accident can hardly be wipt of . they drinke here till their mirth and drinke fly out both together , the one in the chimney and the other in drunken catches , till the streete ring againe , and every pot raises them a note higher . to strangers 't is knowne by the advancement of a may-pole ; and is the onely guest house to pedlers pilgrimages . l●stly , if there bee two in the towne , they live in hostile emulation ; and their faction is about brewing the best ale. . a horse race . is a way to let money run away full speed . amongst the romanes 't was an olimpick exercise , and the prize was a garland , but now they beare the bell away . 't is the prodigality of countrey gentlemen , & the gullery of londoners ; the one dyets his horse till his purse growes lanck , and the other payes for rash betting . the former would give any thing for a horse of pegasus race , or one begot of the wind while the mare turnd her backeside in boreas mouth . they lay wagers here on their horse heeles , and hope to win it by their running heads . the riders speake northern howsoever , and though they want many graynes of honest men , yet when they are put into the scale , they are made weight . the horses are brought hither in their night clothes , and from thence walke downe to the starting post , whence grew the latine proverbe , a carceribus ad metam . the countrey people have time now to commend white-mayne and pepper-corne , while the gentlemen ride up and downe with bets in their mouthes , crying three to one , till the word done make it a wager . by this time they are comming up , and the forerunner is receiv'd ovant , with great acclamations of joy , and the hinder man though hee rid booty , yet he shewes that he favour'd nether side by the spur-galling . it being now done , they drop away into the villages , where their tongues run over the race againe , which for that night fills alehouses with noyse and discourse . . a farmers daughter . is a pretty peece of innocence , that 's slow into conceiting love , and had never thought of marriage , but for example sake , when shee saw her youngers goe before her . shee is handmayd to her mothers huswifery , which by seeing done she makes her owne , and it proves her best portion . shee 's a bridemaid to all young couples , where shee weares her rosemary pinn'd on her heartside , to shew her affection to hymens rites ; and if shee see them both abed , shee carries away a strong fancy of the sequell . shee can sell corne at the next market , and while shee rides thither on her sacke , her short coats administers a temptation in discovering her legge . her corne stands not long for the sellers sake , and shee crosses the proverbe , for shee measures it out by anothers bushell . shee receives her money of her chapman , and has a kisse given her alwayes to boote . if shee have any thing to buy , the mercers shops furnishes her , where shee remembers her mothers cōmission to a halfpennerth of sope , and at home makes her account of all . if her father thrive on his farme , the poore neighbours put the mastership upon him , and if shee learne ●o play on virginalls , 't is thought a courtlike breeding . for her beauty 't is a durable one , and feares no wind , nor weather , which shewes 't is not behoulding to art. shee baytes not her eyes to attract sutors , but for a husband trusts all to 〈◊〉 providence ; and at last cupid in compassion strikes some farmers sonne in love with her , and then shee brewes and makes her owne ale and cakes for the wedding . . a keeper . is a fellow in greene , that 's led about by a dog in a lyne , and the burthen of his shoulder is a long staffe . he wanders the wilde woods to secure the game , and is one that 's licensed to be a night walker . if he find any trespassers , halfe a peece puts out halfe his eyes , and a whole one makes him wholy blind . his lodge is a lone house , often fayn'd in historyes to give entertaynment to wandering strangers , and in the fictions of duells & ravishments , who comes in still to rescue , but a keeper ? his honest rudenesse makes him a protector of men and maydenheades , for he thinkes the sufferance of such an act would blast the trees and make the leaves looke wan . the horne that affrightes other men , is his best musicke : he knowes the changes of the chase , and when a noted deere is hunted , he windes his fall , and weepes at it . all the woodnimphs court him , and when hee rushes from them , the bryers seeme to pull him backe againe . he understands no chamber whispring , but drownes the winds with hallowing , and is answered backe in the same language . hee knowes the ages of his deere by casting their hornes , and thinkes a cuckold most infortunate that his should sticke so close to him . he breakes up a wench as he does a stagge , and having tooke an essay of her , if he finde her fat in the flancke mar●yes her . his children like the indians are borne b●wmen , his hounds and they lappe and feede both out of a dish : he loves those that write in the prayse of hunting , and himselfe talkes whole volumes of it . hee wishes all noble men were nimrods , mighty hunters ; for besides their liberality , the bounty o● beasts gives him the shoulder and the humbles for his fee. lastly , when he wanders to an alehouse , he loves no signe but the robbinhood , because hee was a forrester : where we leave him , till at night he be forth comming . . a gentlemans house in the countrey . is the prime house of some village , and carryes gentility in the front of it . the tennants round about travell thither in pilgrimage with their pigge and goose off●●ngs , and their duty increases with the neere expiring of their leases . the servingm●n are like quarter wayters ; for while some give attendanee at home , the rest are disperst in the ale-houses . their master alowes them to make men drinke for his credit , while they sound forth his fame of hospitallity upon the trumpe●s of blacke iackes . they envye most their owne coate , for if a gentleman bring halfe a dozen men with him , they 'le not suffer a man to come off alive , and that expr●sses their masters welcome . at meales you shall have a scattered troup of dishes , led in by some blacke puddings , and in the reare some demolish'd pastyes , which are not fallen yet to the serving-men . betweene meales there 's bread and beere for all commers , and for a stranger a napkin , and colde , meate in the buttery may be obtained . all the roomes smell of doggs and haukes , and the halls beares armes , though it be but a muskit● and two corsletts . the maides have their severall swee-thearts , which they get by befriending men in their severall offices : as the dayry mayde by a dish of creame : the chamber-mayd by her landrye ; and for this the serving man do● them as good a turne . after which if she knot and prove , she obtaines of her mistresse a poore coppihold , and they both turne tennants to the family ; and are called retayners . the master of the house is ador'd as a relique of gentilitye , and if his wife come by some home-match , he dares not let her see london or the court , for feare she should make his woods pay for 't . hee observes all times and seasons of the yeare , and his christmas is the butlers iubile . to conclude , his house is the seat of hospitality , the poore mans court of justice , the curats sunday ordinary , and the onely exchequer of charity , where the poore goe away relieved , and cry , god blesse the founder . finis . the good and the badde, or descriptions of the vvorthies, and vnworthies of this age where the best may see their graces, and the worst discerne their basenesse. breton, nicholas, ?- ? 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(eebo-tcp ; phase , no. a ) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set ) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, - ; : ) the good and the badde, or descriptions of the vvorthies, and vnworthies of this age where the best may see their graces, and the worst discerne their basenesse. breton, nicholas, ?- ? [ ] p. printed by george purslowe for iohn budge, and are to be sold at the great south-dore of paules, and at brittaines bursse, london : . dedication signed: nicholas breton. signatures: a-f⁴. the first leaf is blank. running title reads: descriptions of the worthies, and vnworthies of this age. reproduction of the original in cambridge university library. created by converting tcp files to tei p using tcp tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between and available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the , texts created during phase of the project have been released into the public domain as of january . anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. % (or pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf- unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p , characters represented either as utf- unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng characters and characteristics -- early works to . - tcp assigned for keying and markup - apex covantage keyed and coded from proquest page images - andrew kuster sampled and proofread - andrew kuster text and markup reviewed and edited - pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion the good and the badde , or descriptions of the worthies , and vnworthies of this age. where the best may see their graces , and the worst discerne their basenesse . london , printed by george purslowe for iohn budge , and are to be sold at the great south-dore of paules , and at brittaines bursse . . to the right vvorshipfvll and vvorthy , sir gilbert houghton , of houghton knight , the noble fauourer of all vertuous spirits : the highest power of heauen grant the blessing of all happinesse to his worthy hearts desire . vvorthy knight : the worthinesse of this subiect , in which is set downe , the difference of light and darkenesse , in the nature of honour and disgrace , to the deseruers of either , hath made me ( vpon the note of the noblenesse of your spirit ) like the eagle , still looking towards the sunne ; to present to your patience , the patronage of this little treatise , of the vvorthies and vnworthies of this age : wherein , i hope , you will finde some things to your content , nothing to the contrary : which leauing to the acceptance of your good fauour , with my further seruice to your command : i humbly rest , your vvorships deuoted , to be commanded , nicholas breton . to the reader . i am sure that if you read thorough this booke , you will finde your description in one place or other : if among the worthies , holde you where you are , and change not your carde for a worse : if among the other , mend that is amisse and all will be well . i name you not , for i know you not ; but , i will wish the best , because the worst is too bad : i hope there will no body be angry , except it be , with himselfe for some-what that hee findes out of order , if it bee so , the hope is the greater , the bad will be no worse : yet the world being at such a passe , that liuing creatures are scarcely knowne from pictures till they moue , nor wise-men from fooles till they speake , nor arteists from bunglers , till they worke ; i will onely wish the worthy their worth , and the contrary , what may mend their condition ; and for my selfe but pardon for my presumption , in writing vpon the natures of more worth then i am worthy to write of , and fauourable acceptation of no worthy intention of reprehension , by the least thought of malicious disposition . so leauing my booke to your best like , with my better labours to the like effect : in hope to finde you among the worthies : i rest , at your command , if worthy , n. b. the good and the badde : or , descriptions of the worthies , and vnworthies of this age. a worthy king . a worthy king is a figure of god , in the nature of gouernment : he is the chiefe of men , and the churches champion , natures honour , and earths maiesty : is the director of law , and the strength of the same , the sword of iustice and the scepter of mercy , the glasse of grace , and the eye of honour , the terror of treason , and the life of loyalty . his commaund is general , and his power absolute , his frowne a death , and his fauour a life , his charge is his subiects , his care their safety , his pleasure their peace , and his ioy their loue : he is not to be paraleld , because he is without equalitie , and the prerogatiue of his crowne must not be contradicted : hee is the lords anointed , and therefore must not be touched , and the head of a publique body , and therefore must be preserued : he is a scourge of sinne , and a blessing of grace , gods vicegerent ouer his people , and vnder him supreme gouernour , his safety must bee his councels care , his health , his subiects prayer , his pleasure , his peeres comfort ; and his content , his kingdomes gladnesse : his presence must be reuerenced , his person attended , his court adorned , and his state maintained ; his bosome must not be searched , his will not disobeyed , his wants not vnsupplied , nor his place vnregarded . in summe , he is more then a man , though not a god , and next vnder god to be honoured aboue man. an vnworthy king. an vnworthy king , is the vsurper of power , where tyranny in authority loseth the glory of maiesty , while the feare of terror frighteth loue from obedience : for when the lyon plaies the wolfe , the lambe dies with the ewe . hee is a messenger of worth to be the scourge of sinne , or the triall of patience , in the hearts of the religious : he is a warrant of woe , in the execution of his fury , and in his best temper , a doubt of grace : hee is a dispeopler of his kingdome , and a prey to his enemies , an vndelightfull friend , and a tormentor of himselfe : he knowes no god , but makes an idoll of nature , and vseth reason but to the ruine of sense : his care is but his will , his pleasure but his ease , his exercise but sinne ; and his delight but vnhumane : his heauen is his pleasure , and his golde is his god : his presence is terrible , his countenance horrible , his words vncomfortable , and his actions intolerable . in summe , he is the foyle of a crowne , the disgrace of a court , the trouble of a councell , and the plague of a kingdome . a worthy queene . a worthy queene is the figure of a king , who vnder god in his grace , hath a great power ouer his people : she is the chiefe of women , the beauty of her court , and the grace of her sexe in the royalty of her spirit : she is like the moone , that giueth light among the starres , and but vnto the sunne , giues none place in her brightnesse : she is the pure diamond vpon the kings finger , and the orient pearle vnprizeable in his eye , the ioy of the court in the comfort of the king , and the wealth of the kingdome in the fruit of her loue : shee is reasons honour , in natures grace , and wisedomes loue in vertues beautie . in summe , she is the handmaid of god , and the kings second selfe , and in his grace , the beauty of a kingdome . a worthy prince . a worthy prince is the hope of a kingdom , the richest iewell in a kings crowne , and the fairest flowre in the queenes garden : hee is the ioy of nature in the hope of honour , and the loue of wisedome , in the life of worthinesse : in the secret carriage of his hearts intention , til his dissignes come to action , he is a dumbe shew to the worlds imagination : in his wisedome hee startles the spirits of expectation in his valour , he subiects the hearts of ambition in his vertue , hee winnes the loue of the noblest , and in his bounty bindes the seruice of the most sufficient : he is the crystall glasse , where nature may see her comfort ; and the booke of reason , where vertue may reade her honour : hee is the morning-starre , that hath light from the sunne , and the blessed fruit of the tree of earths paradise : hee is the studie of the wise in the state of honour , and in the subiect of learning , the history of admiration . in summe , he is in the note of wisdome , the aime of honour , and in the honour of vertue the hope of a kingdome . an vnworthy prince . an vnworthy prince is the feare of a kingdome , when will and power carrie pride in impatience , in the close cariage of ambitious intention , he is like a fearefull dreame to a troubled spirit : in his passionate humours he frighteth the hearts of the prudent , in the delight of vanities hee loseth the loue of the wise , and in the misery of auarice is serued onely with the needy : he is like a little mist , before the rising of the sunne , which , the more it growes , the lesse good it doth : hee is the kings griefe , and the queenes sorrowe , the courts trouble , and the kingdomes curse . in summe , he is the seede of vnhappinesse , the fruit of vngodlinesse , the taste of bitternesse , and the digestion of heauinesse . a worthie priuie counceller . a worthy priuie counceller is the pillar of a realme , in whose wisedome and care , vnder god , and the king , stands the safety of a kingdome : he is the watch-towre to giue warning of the enemy , and a hand of prouision for the preseruation of the state : hee is an oracle in the kings eare , and a sword in the kings hand , an euen weight in the ballance of iustice , and a light of grace in the loue of truth : he is an eye of care in the course of lawe , a heart of loue in his seruice to his soueraigne , a mind of honour in the order of his seruice , and a braine of inuention for the good of the common-wealth : his place is powerfull , while his seruice is faithfull , and his honour due in the desert of his employment . in summe , hee is as a fixed planet mong the starres of the firmament , which through the cloudes in the ayre , shewes the nature of his light . an vnworthie counceller . an vnworthy counceller is the hurt of a king , and the danger of a state , when the weaknes of iudgement may commit an error , or the lacke of care may giue way to vnhappinesse : he is a wicked charme in the kings eare , a sword of terror in the aduice of tyranny : his power is perillous in the partiality of will , and his heart full of hollownesse in the protestation of loue : hypocrisie is the couer of his counterfaite religion , and traiterous inuētion is the agent of his ambition : he is the cloud of darknesse , that threatneth foule weather ; and if it growe to a storme , it is fearefull where it falls : hee is an enemy to god in the hate of grace , and worthie of death in disloyalty to his soueraigne . in summe , he is an vnfit person for the place of a counceller , and an vnworthy subiect to looke a king in the face . a noble man. a noble man is a marke of honour , where the eye of wisedome in the obseruation of desert sees the fruit of grace : hee is the orient pearle that reason polisheth for the beauty of nature , and the diamond sparke where diuine grace giues vertue honour : he is the note-booke of morall discipline , where the conceit of care may finde the true courtier : he is the nurse of hospitality , the reliefe of necessitie , the loue of charity , and the life of bounty : hee is learnings grace , and valours fame , wisedomes fruit , and kindnesse loue : hee is the true falcon that feedes on no carrion , the true horse that will bee no hackney , the true dolphin that feares not the whale , and the true man of god , that feares not the diuell . in summe , he is the darling of nature , in reasons philosophy ; the load-starre of light in loues astronomie , the rauishing sweet in the musique of honour , and the golden number in graces arithmeticke . an vnnoble man. an vnnoble man is the griefe of reason , when the title of honour is put vpon the subiect of disgrace ; when , either the imperfection of wit , or the folly of will shewes an vnfitnesse in nature for the vertue of aduancement : he is the eye of basenesse , and spirit of grossenesse , and in the demeane of rudenesse the skorne of noblenesse : he is a suspicion of a right generation in the nature of his disposition , and a miserable plague to a feminine patience : wisedome knowes him not , learning bred him not , vertue loues him not , and honour fits him not : prodigality or auarice are the notes of his inclination , and folly or mischiefe are the fruits of his inuention . in summe , he is the shame of his name , the disgrace of his place , the blot of his title , and the ruine of his house . a worthie bishop . a worthy bishop is an ambassadour from god vnto man , in the midst of warre to make a treaty of peace ; who , with a generall pardon vpon confession of sinne , vpon the fruit of repentance , giues assurance of comfort : hee brings tidings from heauen , of happinesse to the world , where the patience of mercie calls nature to grace : hee is the siluer trumpet in the musicke of loue , where faith hath a life that neuer failes the beloued : hee is the director of life in the lawes of god , and the chirurgion of the soule , in launcing the sores of sinne , the terror of the reprobate , in pronouncing their damnation ; and the ioy of the faithfull , in the assurance of their saluation . in summe , hee is in the nature of grace , worthy of honour , and in the message of life , worthy of loue : a continuall agent betwixt god and man , in the preaching of his word , and prayer for his people . an vnworthy bishop . an vnworthy bishop is the disgrace of learning , when the want of reading , or the abuse of vnderstanding , in the speech of error may beget idolatry . he is gods enemy , in the hurt of his people , and his owne woe , in abuse of the word of god : he is the shadow of a candle , that giues no light ; or , if it be any , it is but to leade into darkenesse : the sheepe are vnhappy , that liue in his fold , when they shall either starue , or feede on ill ground : hee breeds a warre in the wits of his audience , when his life is contrary to the nature of his instruction : hee liues in a roome , where he troubles a world , and in the shadow of a saint , is little better then a deuill ; hee makes religion a cloake of sinne , and with counterfeit humility , couereth incomparable pride . hee robs the rich , to relieue the poore , and makes fooles of the wise , with the imagination of his worth : hee is all for the church , but , nothing for god , and for the ease of nature , loseth the ioy of reason . in summe , he is the picture of hypocrisie , the spirit of heresie ; a wound in the church , and a woe in the world. a worthy iudge . a iudge is a doome , whose breath is mortall vpon the breach of law , where criminall offences must bee cut off from a common-wealth : hee is a sword of iustice in the hand of a king ; and , an eye of wisedome in the walke of a kingdome : his study is a square for the keeping of proportion , betwixt command , and obedience , that the king may keepe his crowne on his head , and the subiect his head on his shoulders . hee is feared but of the foolish , and cursed but of the wicked ; but , of the wise honoured , and of the gracious beloued : hee is a surueier of rights , and reuenger of wrongs , and in the iudgement of truth , the honor of iustice. in summe , his word is law , his power grace , his labour peace , and his desert honour . an vnworthy iudge . an vnworthy iudge is the griefe of iustice in the error of iudgement , when , through ignorance , or will , the death of innocency lies vpon the breath of opinion : hee is the disgrace of law , in the desert of knowledge , and the plague of power , in the misery of oppression : he is more morall , then diuine , in the nature of policy , and more iudicious , then iust , in the carriage of his conceit : his charity is cold , when partiality is resolued , when the doome of life lies on the verdict of a iury , with a sterne looke , hee frighteth an offender , and giues little comfort to a poore mans cause . the golden weight ouerwaies his grace ; when angels play the diuels in the hearts of his people . in summe , where christ is preached , hee hath no place in his church ; and in this kingdome , out of doubt , god will not suffer any such diuell to beare sway . a worthie knight . a worthy knight is a spirit of proofe , in the aduancement of vertue , by the desert of honour , in the eye of maiestie : in the field hee giues courage to his souldiers , in the court , grace to his followers , in the cittie , reputation to his person , and in the country honour to his house . his sword and his horse make his way to his house , and his armor of best proofe is an vndaunted spirit ; the musicke of his delight , is the trumpet and the drumme , and the paradise of his eye , is an army defeated , the reliefe of the oppressed , makes his conquest honourable , and the pardon of the submissiue makes him famous in mercy : hee is in nature milde , and in spirit stout , in reason iudicious , and in all , honourable . in summe , hee is a yeomans commander , & a gentlemans superiour , a noble mans companion , and a princes worthy fauourite . an vnworthy knight . an vnworthy knight is the defect of nature , in the title of honour , when to maintaine valor , his spurres haue no rowels , nor his sword a point ; his apparell is of proofe , that may weare like his armour , or like an olde ensigne , that hath his honour in ragges . it may be he is the taylors trouble in fitting an ill shape , or a mercers wonder , in wearing of silke ; in the court he stands for a cipher , and among ladies like an owle among birds : hee is worshipt onely for his wealth , and if hee be of the first head , hee shall be valued by his wit , when if his pride goe beyond his purse , his title will be a trouble to him . in summe , hee is the child of folly , and the man of gotham , the blind man of pride , and the foole of imagination : but in the court of honour , are no such apes , and i hope that this kingdome will breed no such asses . a worthy gentleman . a worthy gentleman , is a branch of the tree of honour , whose fruites are the actions of vertue , as pleasing to the eye of iudgement , as tastefull to the spirit of vnderstanding : whatsoeuer hee doth , it is not forced , except it bee euill , which either through ignorance vnwittingly ; or , through compulsion vnwillingly , he fals vpon , hee in nature kinde , in demeanour courteous , in alleageance loyall , and in religion zealous , in seruice faithfull , and in reward bountifull : hee is made of no baggage stuffe , nor , for the wearing of base people ; but is wouen by the spirit of wisedome , to adorne the court of honour . his apparell is more comely then costly , and his diet more wholsome then excessiue , his exercise more healthfull then painefull , and his study more for knowledge then pride ; his loue not wanton , nor common , his gifts not niggardly , nor prodigall : and his carriage neither apish , nor sullen . in summe , he is an approuer of his pedigree , by the noblenesse of his passage , and , in the course of his life , an example to his posterity . an vnworthy gentleman . an vnworthy gentleman is the scoffe of wit , and the scorne of honour , where more wealth then wit is worshipt of simplicity : who spends more in idlenesse , then would maintaine thrift , or hides more in misery , then might purchase honour : whose delights are vanities , and whose pleasures fopperies , whose studies fables , and , whose exercise , worse then follies : his conuersation is base and his conference ridiculous , his affections vngracious , and his actions . ignominious . his apparell out of fashion , and his diet out of order , his cariage out of square , and , his company out of request . in summe , he is like a mungrell dogge with a veluet coller , a cart-horse with a golden saddle , a buzzard kite with a fawlcons bels , or a baboune with a pied ierkin . a worthy lawyer . a worthy lawyer is the studient of knowledge , how to bring controuersies into a conclusion of peace , and out of ignorance to gaine vnderstanding : hee diuides time into vses , and cases into constructions : hee layes open obscurities , and is praysed for the speech of truth , and in the court of conscience pleads much in forma pauperis , for small fees : he is a meane for the preseruation of titles , and the holding of possessions , and a great instrument of peace in the iudgement of impartiality : hee is the clyents hope , in his cases pleading , and his hearts comfort in a happy issue : hee is the finder out of tricks in the craft of ill conscience , and the ioy of the distressed in the reliefe of iustice. in summe , hee is a maker of peace , among the spirits of contention , & a continuer of quiet , in the execution of the law. an vnworthy lawyer . an vnlearned and vnworthily called a lawyer , is the figure of a foot-post , who carries letters , but knowes not what is in them , only can read the superscriptions , to direct them to their right owners . so trudgeth this simple clarke , that can scarce read a case when it is written , with his hand-full of papers , from one court to another , and from one counsellors chamber to another , when by his good payment , for his paines , hee will bee so sawcy , as to call himselfe a sollicitor : but what a taking are poore clients in , when this too much trusted cunning companion , better read in pierce plowman , then in ploydon , and in the play of richard the third , then in the pleas of edward the fourth ; perswades them all is sure , when hee is sure of all ? and in what a misery are the poore men , when , vpon a nihil dicit , because indeede , this poore fellow , nihil potest dicere , they are in danger of an execution , before they know wherefore they are condemned : but , i wish all such more wicked then witty , vnlearned in the law and abusers of the same , to looke a little better into their consciences , and to leaue their crafty courses , lest when the law indeede laies them open , in steade of carrying papers in their hands , they weare not papers on their heads , and in stead of giuing eare to their clients causes , or rather eies into their purses , they haue nere an eare left to heare withal , nor good eie to see withall ; or at least honest face to looke out withall : but as the grashoppers of egypt , bee counted the caterpillers of england , and not the foxe that stole the goose , but the great foxe that stole the farme , from the gander . a worthy souldier . a worthy souldier is the childe of valour , who was borne for the seruice of necessitie , and to beare the ensigne of honour , in the actions of worth : he is the dyer of the earth with blood , and the ruine of the erections of pride : hee is the watch of wit , in the aduantage of time , and the executioner of wrath vpon the wilfull offender : he disputes questions with the point of a sword , and preferres death to indignities : hee is a lyon to ambition , and a lambe to submission : hee hath hope fast by the hand , and treads vpon the head of feare . hee is the kings champion , and the kingdomes guard , peaces preseruer , and rebellions terror : he makes the horse trample at the sound of a trumpet , and leades on to a battaile , as if hee were going to a break-fast ; hee knowes not the nature of cowardise , for his rest is set vp vpon resolution : his strongest fortification is his mind , which beates off the assaults of idle humors , and his life is the passage of danger , where , an vndaunted spirit stoopes to no fortune ; with his armes hee wins his armes , and by his desert in the field , his honour in the court. in summe , in the truest man-hood hee is the true man : and in the creation of honour , a most worthy creature . an vntrained souldier . an vntrained souldier is like a young hound , that when the first falls to hunt , he knowes not how to lay his nose to the earth : who hauing his name but in a booke , and marched twise about a market place , when he comes to a piece of seruice , knowes not how to bestowe himselfe : he marches as if he were at plough , carries his pike like a pike-staffe , and his sword before him , for feare of losing from his side : if he be a shot , he will be rather ready to say a grace ouer his peece , and so to discharge his hands of it , then to learne how to discharge it with a grace : he puts on his armour ouer his eares , like a waste-coate , and weares his murrian like a night-cap ; when he is quartered in the field , he looks for his bed , and when he sees his prouant , he is readie to crie for his victuals ; and ere hee knowe well where he is , wish heartily hee were at home againe , with hanging downe his head , as if his heart were in his hose : sleepe till a drumme , or a deadly bullet awake him , and so carrie himselfe in all companies , that till martiall discipline haue seasoned his vnderstanding , he is like a cipher among figures , an owle among birds , a wise man among fooles , and a shadow among men . a worthy physician . a worthy physician is the enemy of sicknesse , in purging nature from corruption : his action is most in feeling of pulses , and his discourses chiefely of the natures of diseases : he is a great searcher out of simples , and accordingly makes his composition : hee perswades abstinence , and patience , for the benefit of health , while purgeing and bleeding are the chiefe courses of his counsaile : the apothecarie , and the chirurgeon are his two chiefe attendants , with whom conferring vpon time , growes temperate in his cures : surfets , and wantonnesse are great agents for his imploiment , when by the secret of his skill , out of others weaknes hee gathers his owne strength . in summe , hee is a necessary member for an vnnecessary malady , to find a disease and to cure the diseased . an vnworthy physician . an vnlearned , and so vnworthy physician , is a kinde of horse-leech , whose cure is most in drawing of bloud , and a desperate purge , either to cure , or kill , as it hits ; his discourse is most of the cures that hee hath done , and them afarre off : and not a receipt vnder a hundreth pounds , though it be not worth three halfe-pence : vpon the market day he is much haunted with vrinals , where if he finde any thing ( though he knowe nothing ) yet hee will say some-what , which if it hit to some purpose , with a fewe fustian words , hee will seeme a piece of strange stuffe : hee is neuer without old merry tales , and stale iests to make olde folkes laugh , and cumfits , or plummes in his pocket , to please little children : yea , and he will be talking of complexions , though he know nothing of their dispositions : and if his medicine doe a feate , he is a made man among fooles : but being wholly vnlearned , and oft-times vnhonest , let me thus briefly describe him : he is a plaine kinde of mountebanke , and a true quackesaluer , a danger for the sicke to deale withall , and a dizard in the world to talke withall . a worthy marchant . a worthy marchant is the heire of aduenture , whose hopes hang much vpon winde : vpon a wodden horse he rides through the world , and in a merry gale , makes a path through the seas : he is a discouerer of countries , and a finder out of commodities , resolute in his attempts , and royall in his expences : he is the life of traffick , and the maintainer of trade , the sailers master , and the souldiers friend ; hee is the exercise of the exchange , the honor of credit , the obseruation of time , and the vnderstanding of thrift : his studie is number , his care his accounts , his comfort his conscience , and his wealth his good name : he feares not silla , and sayles close by caribdis , and hauing beaten out a storme , rides at rest in a harbour : by his sea gaine , he makes his land-purchase , and by the knowledge of trade , findes the key of treasure : out of his trauailes , he makes his discourses , and from his eye-obseruations , brings the moddels of architectures ; he plants the earth with forraine fruits , and knowes at home what is good abroad : he is neat in apparell , modest in demeanure , dainty in dyet , and ciuill in his carriage . in summe , hee is the pillar of a city , the enricher of a country , the furnisher of a court , and the worthy seruant of a king. an vnworthy marchant . an vnworthy merchant is a kinde of pedler , who ( with the helpe of a broker ) gets more by his wit , then by his honestie : hee doth sometime vse to giue out money to gamesters , bee paide in post , vpon a hand at dice : sometime , he gaines more by bawbles , then better stuffes , and rather then faile , wil aduenture a false oath for a fraudulent gaine ; hee deales with no whole sale , but all his honesty is at one word : as for wares and weights he knows how to hold the ballance , and for his conscience , he is not ignorant what to do with it : his trauaile is most by land , for he fears to be too busie with the water , and whatsoeuer his ware be , hee will be sure of his money : the most of his wealth is in a packe of trifles , and for his honesty , i dare not passe my word for him ; if he be rich , t is tenne to one of his pride , and if he be poore , he breakes without his fast . in summe , hee is the disgrace of a marchant , the dishonour of a citty , the discredit of his parish , and the dislike of all . a good man. a good man is an image of god , lord ouer all his creatures , and created only for his seruice : he is made capable of reason , to know the properties of nature , and by the inspiration of grace , to know things supernaturall : he hath a face alwaies to looke vpward , and a soule that giues life to all the sences , hee liues in the world as a stranger , while heauen is the home of his spirit : his life is but the labour of sence ; and his death , the way to his rest : his study is the word of truth , and his delight is in the lawe of loue : his prouision is but to serue necessity , and his care the exercise of charitie : he is more conuersant with the diuine prophets , then the worlds profits , and makes the ioy of his soule in the tidings of his saluation : he is wise in the best wit , and wealthy in the richest treasure : his hope is but the comfort of mercy , and his feare but the hurt of sinne : pride is the hate of his soule , and patience the worker of his peace , his guide is the wisedome of grace , and his trauaile but to the heauenly ierusalem . in summe , hee is the elect of god , the blessing of grace , the seede of loue , and the fruite of life . an atheist , or most badde man. an atheist is a figure of desperation , who dare do any thing euen to his soules damnation : he is in nature a dogge , in wit an asse , in passion a bedlam , and in action a diuell : hee makes sinne a iest , grace an humour , truth a fable , and peace a cowardice : his horse is his pride , his sword is his castle , his apparell his riches , and his punke his paradise : hee makes robberie his purchase , lechery his solace , mirth his exercise , and drunkennesse his glory : hee is the daunger of society , the loue of vanitie , the hate of charitie , and the shame of humanitie : hee is gods enemie , his parents griefe , his countries plague , and his owne confusion ; hee spoiles that is necessarie , and spends that is needlesse ; he spightes at the gracious , and spurnes at the godly : the tauerne is his palace , & his belly is his god , a whore is his mistris , and the diuell is his master : oathes are his graces , wounds his badges ; shifts are his practices , and beggery his paiments : hee knowes not god , nor thinkes of heauen , but walkes thorow the world , as a diuell towards hell : vertue knowes him not , honesty findes him not , wisedome loues him not , and honour regards him not : hee is but the cutlers friend , and the chirurgeons agent , the thiefes companion , and the hangmans benefactor : he was begotten vntimely , and borne vnhappily , liues vngraciously , and dies vnchristianly : hee is of no religion , nor good fashion , hardly good complexion , & most vile in condition . in summe , hee is a monster among men , a iewe among christians , a foole among wisemen , and a diuell among saints . a wise man. a wise man , is a clocke that neuer strikes but at his houre , or rather like a diall , that being set right with the sunne , keepes his true course in his compasse . so the heart of a wise man , set in the course of vertue by the spirit of grace , runnes the course of life , in the compasse of eternall comfort : hee measureth time , and tempreth nature , imployeth reason , and commandeth sense : hee hath a deafe eare to the charmer , a close mouth to the slaunderer , an open hand to charity , and an humble mind to piety : obseruation and experience are his reasons labours , and patience with conscience are the lines of his loues measure , contemplation , and meditation are his spirits exercise , and god and his word are the ioy of his soule : hee knowes not the pride of prosperity , nor the misery of aduersitie , but takes the one as the day , the other as the night : hee knowes no fortune , but builds all vpon prouidence , and through the hope of faith , hath a fayre ayme at heauen : his words are weighed with iudgement , and , his actions are the examples of honour : hee is fit for the seat of authority , and deserues the reuerence of subiection : hee is precious in the counsell of a king , and mighty in the sway of a kingdome . in summe , hee is gods seruant , and the worlds master , a stranger vpon earth , and a citizen in heauen . a foole. a foole is the abortiue of wit , where nature had more power then reason , in bringing forth the fruit of imperfection , his actions are most in extremes , and the scope of his braine is but ignorance : onely nature hath taught him to feede , and vse , to labour without knowledge : hee is a kind of shadow of a better substance , or , like the vision of a dreame , that yeelds nothing awake : he is commonly knowne by one of two speciall names , deriued from their qualities , as , from wilfull willfoole , and hodge from hodge-podge ; all meates are alike , all are one to a foole : his exercises are commonly diuided into foure parts , eating and drinking , sleeping and laughing : foure things are his chiefe loues : a bawble , and a bell , a coxecombe , and a pide-coate : hee was begotten in vnhappinesse , borne to no goodnes , liues but in beastlinesse , and dies but in forgetfulnesse . in summe , he is the shame of nature , the trouble of wit , the charge of charity , and the losse of liberality . an honest man. an honest man is like a plaine coate , which , without welt or gard , keepeth the body from winde and weather , and being well made , fits him best that weares it ; and where the stuffe is more regarded then the fashion , there is not much adoe in the putting of it on : so , the mind of an honest man without tricks or complements , keepes the credit of a good conscience from the scandal of the world , and the worme of iniquity : which , being wrought , by the worke-man of heauen , fits him best that weares it to his seruice : and , where vertue is more esteemed then vanity , it is put on , and worne with that ease , that shewes the excellency of the workeman : his study is vertue , his word truth , his life the passage of patience , and his death the rest of his spirit : his trauaile is a pilgrimage , his way is plainnesse , his pleasure peace , and his delight is loue : his care is his conscience , his wealth is his credit , his charge is his charity , and his content is his kingdome . in summe , hee is a diamond among iewels , a phaenix among birds , an vnicorne among beasts , and a saint among men . a knaue . a knaue is the scumme of wit , and the scorne of reason , the hate of wisedome , and the dishonour of humanity : he is the danger of society , and the hurt of amity , the infection of youth , and the corruption of age : he is a traytor to affiance , and abuse to imployment , and a rule of villany , in a plot of mischiefe : hee hath a cats eye , and a beares paw , a sirens tongue , and a serpents sting : his words are lies , his oaths periuries , his studies subtilties , and his practices villanies , his wealth is his wit , his honour is his wealth , his glory is his gaine , and his god is his gold : he is no mans friend , and his owne enemy , cursed on earth , and banished from heauen : hee was begotten vngraciously , borne vntimely , liues dishonestly , and dies shamefully : his heart is a puddle of poyson , his tongue a sting of iniquity , his braine a distiller of deceit , and his conscience a compasse of hell. in summe , hee is a dogge in disposition , a foxe in wit , a wolfe in his prey , and a diuell in his pride . an vsurer . an vsurer is a figure of misery , who hath made himselfe a slaue to his money : his eye is clos'd from pitty , and his hand from charity , his eare from compassion , and his heart from piety : while hee liues , hee is the hate of a christian , and , when he dies , hee goes with horror to hell : his study is sparing , and his care is getting , his feare is wanting , and his death is loosing : his diet is either fasting , or poore fare , his cloathing the hang-mans wordrobe , his house the receptacle of theeuery , and his musick the chinking of his money : hee is a kind of canker , that with the teeth of interest , eates the hearts of the poore , and a venimous fly , that sucks out the blood of any flesh that hee lights on . in summe , hee is a seruant of drosse , a slaue to misery , an agent for hell , and a diuell in the world. a beggar . a beggar is the childe of idlenesse , whose life is a resolution of ease , his trauaile is most in the high-wayes , and his randevows is commonly in an ale-house : his study is to counterfeit impotency , and his practice , to cozen simplicity of charity , the iuice of the malt is the licour of his life , and at bed , and at boord a louse is his companion : hee feares no such enemy , as a constable , and , beeing acquainted with the stocks , must visite them , as hee goes by them : hee is a drone that feedes vpon the labours of the bee , and vnhappily begotten , that is borne for no goodnesse ; his staffe and his scrippe are his walking furniture , and what hee lackes in meat , hee will haue out in drinke : he is a kinde of caterpiller that spoiles much good fruite , and an vnprofitable creature to liue in a common-wealth : hee is seldome handsome , and often noysome , alwaies troublesome , and neuer welcome : hee prayes for all , and preyes vpon all , begins with blessing , but ends often with cursing : if hee haue a licence , hee shewes it with a grace , but if hee haue none , hee is submissiue to the ground : sometime he is a thiefe , but , alwaies a rogue , and in the nature of his profession , the shame of humanity . in sum , hee is commonly begot in a bush , borne in a barne , liues in a high-way , and dyes in a ditch . a virgin. a virgin is the beauty of nature , where the spirit gracious makes the creature glorious : she is the loue of vertue , the honour of reason , the grace of youth , and the comfort of age : her studie is holinesse , her exercise goodnesse , her grace humility , and her loue is charity : her countenance is modesty ; her speech is truth , her wealth grace , and her fame constancy : her vertue continence , her labour patience , her dyet abstinence , and her care conscience : her conuersation heauenly , her meditations angel-like , her prayers deuout , and her hopes diuine : her parents ioy , her kindreds honour , her countreys fame , and her owne felicity : she is the blessed of the highest , the praise of the worthiest , the loue of the noblest , and the neerest to the best : shee is of creatures the rarest , of women the chiefest , of nature the purest , and of wisedome the choysest . her life is a pilgrimage , her death but a passage , her description a wonder , and her name an honour . in summe , shee is the daughter of glory , the mother of grace , the sister of loue , and the beloued of life . a wanton woman . a wanton woman is the figure of imperfection , in nature , an ape , in quality , a wagtaile , in countenance , a witch , and in condition , a kinde of diuell : her beck is a net , her word a charme , her looke an illusion , and her companie a confusion : her life is the play of idlenesse , her diet the excesse of dainties , her loue the change of vanities , and her exercise the inuention of follies : her pleasures are fansies , her studies fashions , her delight colours , and her wealth her cloathes : her care is to deceiue , her comfort her company , her house is vanity , and her bed is ruine , her discourses are fables , her vowes , dissimulations , her conceits subtilties , and her contents varieties : she would she knowes not what , and spends she cares not what , she spoiles she sees not what , and doth shee thinks not what : she is youths plague , and ages purgatory , times abuse , and reasons trouble . in summe , shee is a spice of madnesse , a sparke of mischiefe , a tutch of poyson , and a feare of destruction . a quiet woman . a quiet woman is like a still winde , which neither chils the body , nor blowes dust in the face : her patience is a vertue that winnes the heart of loue , and her wisedome makes her will well worthy regarde : she feares god , and flyeth sinne , sheweth kindnesse and loueth peace : her tongue is tied to discretion , and her heart is the harbor of goodnesse : shee is acomfort of calamity , and in prosperity a companion , a physician in sicknesse , and a musician in helpe : her wayes are the walke toward heauen , and her guide is the grace of the almighty : she is her husbands downe-bed , where his heart lyes at rest , and her childrens glasse in the notes of her grace , her seruants honour in the keeping of her house , and her neighbours example in the notes of a good nature : she skorns fortune , and loues vertue , and out of thrift gathereth charity : she is a turtle in her loue , a lambe in her meekenesse , a saint in her heart , and an angell in her soule . in summe , shee is a iewell vnprizeable , and a ioy vnspeakable , a comfort in nature incomparable , and a wife in the world vnmatchable . an vnquiet woman . an vnquiet woman is the misery of man , whose demeanure is not to be described , but in extremities : her voice is the skrieching of an owle , her eye the poison of a cockatrice , her hand the clawe of a crocadile , and her heart a cabinet of horrour : she is the griefe of nature , the wound of wit , the trouble of reason , and the abuse of time : her pride is vnsupportable , her anger vnquenchable , her will vnsatiable , and her malice vnmatchable : she feares no colours , she cares for no counsaile , she spares no persons , nor respects any time ; her command is must , her reason will , her resolution shall , and her satisfaction so : she looks at no lawe , and thinkes of no lord , admits no commaund , and keepes no good order : she is a crosse , but not of christ , and a word , but not of grace , a creature , but not of wisedome , and a seruant , but not of god. in summe , she is the seede of trouble , the fruit of trauaile , the taste of bitternesse , and the digestion of death . a good wife . a good wife is a world of wealth , where iust cause of content makes a kingdome in conceit : she is the eye of warinesse , the tongue of silence , the hand of labour , and the heart of loue : a companion of kindnesse , a mistris of passion , an exercise of patience , and an example of experience : she is the kitchin physician , the chamber comfort , the halls care , and the parlours grace : she is the dairies neatnesse , the brue-house wholsomnesse , the garners prouision , and the gardens plantation : her voice is musicke , her countenance meekenesse , her minde vertuous , and her soule gracious : she is her husbands iewell , her childrens ioy , her neighbors loue , and her seruants honour ; she is pouerties praier , and charities praise , religions loue , and deuotions zeale : she is a care of necessity , and a course of thrift , a booke of huswifery , and a mirror of modestie . in summe , she is gods blessing , and mans happinesse , earths honour , and heauens creature . an effeminate foole. an effeminate foole is the figure of a baby ; he loues nothing but gay , to look in a glasse , to keepe among wenches , and , to play with trifles : to feed on sweet meats , and to be daunced in laps , to be imbraced in armes , and to be kissed on the cheeke : to talke idlely , to looke demurely , to goe nicely , and to laugh continually : to be his mistresse seruant , and her mayds master , his fathers loue , and his mothers none-child ; to play on a fiddle , and sing a loue-song , to weare sweet gloues , and looke on fine things : to make purposes , and write verses , deuise riddles , and tell lies : to follow plaies , and study daunces , to heare newes , and buy trifles : to sigh for loue , and weepe for kindnesse , and mourne for company , and bee sicke for fashion : to ride in a coach , and gallop a hackney , to watch all night , and sleepe out the morning : to lie on a bed , and take tobacco , and to send his page of an idle message to his mistresse : to go vppon gigges , to haue his ruffes set in print , to picke his teeth , and play with a puppet . in summe , hee is a man-childe , and a womans man , a gaze of folly , and wisedomes griefe . a parasite . a parisite is the image of iniquity , who for the gaine of drosse , is deuoted to all villanie : he is a kinde of thiefe , in committing of burglarie , when hee breakes into houses with his tongue , and pickes pockets with his flatterie : his face is brazed that he cannot blush , and his hands are limed to catch holde what hee can light on : his tongue is a bell ( but not of the church , except it be the diuels ) to call his parish to his seruice : hee is sometime a pander to carry messages of ill meetings , and perhaps hath some eloquence to perswade sweetnesse in sinne : he is like a dogge at a doore , while the diuels dance in the chamber , or like a spider in the house top , that liues on the poison belowe : hee is the hate of honesty , and the abuse of beauty , the spoile of youth , and the misery of age. in summe , he is a danger in a court , a cheater in a citie , a iester in the countrey , and a iacke-an-apes in all . a bawde . a bawde is a kinde of woman-beast , who hauing lost the honour of her virginity in her youth , meanes to goe to hell in her age : she is dangerous among young people , for feare of the infection of the falling sicknesse , and not to teach children to spel , lest she learne them too soone to put together : shee is partly a surgeon , but most for the the allaying of swellings in the lower parts , and hath commonly a charme to coniure the diuell into hell : shee grieues at nothing more , then at disability to sinne , and is neuer so merry , as when she is perswaded to be young : she feares nothing more then the cart , and cares for nothing but ease , and loues a cup of sacke and a pot of ale , almost as well as the hope of her saluation : shee is much subiect to sore eyes , and ill teeth , with sitting vp late , and feeding on sweete things : she is a gossip at a childe-birth , where , her mirth is a bawdy tale ; and a matrone in an hospitall , to see young wenches well set to worke . in summe , shee is the loathsomenesse of nature , the hate of vertue , the spoile of wealth , and the ruine of mayden-heads . a drunkard . a drunkard is a nowne adiectiue , for he cannot stand alone by himselfe ; yet in his greatest we aknesse , a great trier of strength , whether health or sicknesse will haue the vpper hand in a surfet : he is a spectacle of deformitie , and a shame of humanity , a viewe of sinne , and a griefe of nature : he is the anoiance of modesty , and the trouble of ciuility , the spoile of wealth , and the spight of reason : he is only the bruers agent , and the ale-house benefactor , the beggers companion , and the constables trouble : he is his wifes woe , his childrens sorrow , his neighbours scoffe , and his owne shame . in summe , hee is a tubbe of swill , a spirit of sleepe , a picture of a beast , and a monster of a man. a coward . a coward is the childe of feare , hee was begotten in colde bloud , when nature had much adoe to make vp a creature like a man : his life is a kinde of sicknesse , which breeds a kinde of palsey in the ioynts , and his death the terror of his conscience , with the extreme weakenesse of his faith : hee loues peace as his life , for he feares a sword in his soule : if he cut his finger , hee looketh presently for the signe , and if his head ake , he is ready to make his will : a report of a cannon strikes him flat on his face , and a clap of thunder makes him a strange metamorphosis : rather then he will fight , he will be beaten , and if his legges will helpe him , he will put his armes to no trouble : he makes loue commonly with his purse , and brags most of his mayden-head , he will not marry but into a quiet family , and not too faire a wife , to auoide quarrels : if his wife frowne vpon him , he sighes , and if shee giue him an vnkinde word , he weepes : hee loues not the hornes of a bull , nor the pawes of a beare : and if a dogge barke , he will not come neere the house : if hee be rich , he is afraide of theeues , and if he be poore he will be slaue to a begger . in summe , hee is the shame of man-hood , the disgrace of nature , the skorne of reason , and the hate of honour . an honest poore man. an honest poore man is the proofe of miserie , where patience is put to the trial of her strength to endure griefe without passion , in staruing with concealed necessity , or standing in the aduentures of charitie : if he be married , want rings in his eares , and woe watreth his eyes : if single , he droopeth with the shame of beggery , or dyes with the passion of penurie : of the rich , he is shunned like infection , and of the poore learnes but a heart-breaking profession : his bed is the earth , and the heauen is his canapy , the sunne is his summers comfort , and the moone is his winter candle : his sighes are the notes of his musick , and his song is like the swanne before her death : his study , his patience , and his exercise prayer ; his dyet , the herbes of the earth , and his drinke , the water of the riuer : his trauell is the walke of the woful , and his horse bayard of ten-toes : his apparell but the clothing of nakednesse , and his wealth but the hope of heauen : he is a stranger in the world , for no man craues his acquaintance , & his funerall is without ceremony , when there is no mourning for the misse of him : yet may he be in the state of election , and in the life of loue , and more rich in grace , then the greatest of the world. in sum , he is the griefe of nature , the sorrow of reason , the pittie of wisedome , and the charge of charity . a iust man. a iust man is the child of truth , begotten by vertue and kindnesse , when nature in the temper of the spirit , made euen the ballance of indifferency : his eye is cleere from blindnesse , and his hand from bribery , his will from wilfulnesse , and his heart from wickednesse : his word and deed are all one , his life shewes the nature of his loue , his care is the charge of his conscience , and his comfort , the assurance of his saluation : in the seat of iustice , he is the grace of the lawe , and in the iudgement of right , the honour of reason : he feares not the power of authority to equall iustice with mercie , and ioyes but in the iudgement of grace , to see the execution of iustice : his iudgement is worthy of honour , and his wisedome is gracious in truth : his honour is famous in vertue , and his vertue is precious in example . in summe , he is a spirit of vnderstanding , a braine of knowledge , a heart of wisedome , and a soule of blessednesse . a repentant sinner . a repentant sinner is the child of grace , who being borne for the seruice of god , makes no reckoning of the mastershippe of the world , yet , doth he glorifie god in the beholding of his creatures , and in giuing praise to his holy name , in the admiration of his work-manship : he is much of the nature of an angell , who being sent into the world but to do the will of his master , is euer longing to bee at home with his fellowes : he desires nothing but that is necessary , and delighteth in nothing that is transitory , but contemplates more then hee can conceiue , and meditates onely vpon the word of the almighty ; his senses are the tyrers of his spirit , while , in the course of nature , his soule can find no rest : he shakes off the ragges of sinne , and is cloathed with the robe of vertue : he puts off adam , and puts on christ : his heart is the anuile of truth , where the braine of his wisedome beates the thoughts of his minde , till they be fit for the seruice of his maker : his labour is the trauaile of loue , by the rule of grace to find the high-way to heauen : his feare is greater then his loue of the world , and his loue is greater then his feare of god. in summe , he is in the election of loue , in the booke of life , an angell incarnate , and a blessed creature . a reprobate . a reprobate is the childe of sinne , who being borne for the seruice of the deuill , cares not what villany he does in the world : his wit is alwaies in a maze , for his courses are euer out of order , and while his will stands for his wisedome , the best that fals out of him , is a foole : hee betrayes the trust of the simple , and sucks out the blood of the innocent . his breath is the fume of blasphemy , and his tongue the fire-brand of hell : his desires are the destruction of the vertuous , and his delights are the traps to damnation : hee bathes in the bloud of murther , and sups vp the broth of iniquity : he frighteth the eyes of the godly , & disturbeth the hearts of the religious : he marreth the wits of the wise , and is hatefull to the soules of the gracious . in summe , he is an inhumane creature , a fearefull companion , a man-monster , and a diuell incarnate . an old man. an old man is the declaration of time , in the defect of nature , and the imperfection of sense in the vse of reason : he is in the obseruation of time , a kalender of experience , but in the power of action , he is a blanke among lots : he is the subiect of weakenesse , the agent of sicknesse , the displeasure of life , and the forerunner of death : hee is twise a child , and halfe a man , a liuing picture , and a dying creature : he is a blowne bladder , that is onely stuffed with winde , and a withered tree , that hath lost the sappe of the roote : or an old lute with strings all broken , or a ruined castle that is ready to fall : hee is the eye-sore of youth , and the iest of loue , and in the fulnesse of infirmitie , the mirror of misery . yet , in the honour of wisedome , he may be gracious in grauity , and in the gouernment of iustice , deserue the honour of reuerence : yea , his words may be notes for the vse of reason , and his actions examples for the imitation of discretion . in summe , in whatsoeuer estate , he is but as the snuffe of a candle , that pinke it neuer so long , it will out at last . a young man. a young man is the spring of time , when nature in her pride shewes her beauty to the world : he is the delight of the eye , and the study of the minde , the labour of instruction , and the pupil of reason : his wit is in making or marring , his wealth in gaining or losing , his honour in aduancing or declining , and his life in abridging or increasing : he is a bloome , that either is blasted in the bud , or growes to a good fruit , or a bird that dies in the nest , or liues to make vse of her wings : hee is a colt that must haue a bridle , ere hee bee well managed , and a faulcon that must be well man'd , or hee will neuer be reclaimde : hee is the darling of nature , and the charge of reason , the exercise of patience , and the hope of charity : his exercise is either study or action , and his study either knowledge or pleasure : his disposition giues a great note of his generation , and yet , his breeding may eyther better or worse him , though to wish a black-moore white , bee the losse of labour , and what is bred in the bone , will neuer out of the flesh . in summe , till experience haue seasoned his vnderstanding , hee is rather a childe then a man , a prey of flattery , or a praise of prouidence , in the way of grace , to proue a saint , or in the way of sinne , to grow a deuill . a holy man. a holy man is the chiefest creature in the workemanship of the world : he is the highest in the election of loue , and the neerest to the image of the humane nature of his maker : hee is serued of all the creatures in the earth , and created but for the seruice of his creator : hee is capable of the course of nature , and by the rule of obseruation , finds the art of reason ; his senses are but seruants to his spirit , which is guided by a power aboue himselfe : his time is onely knowne to the eye of the almighty , and what hee is in his most greatnesse , is as nothing , but in his mercy : he makes law by the direction of life , and liues but in the mercy of loue : he treads vpō the face of the earth , til in the same substāce he be trod vpon , though his soule that gaue life to his senses , liue in heauen , till the resurrection of his flesh : hee hath an eye to looke vpward towards grace , while labour is onely the punishment of sinne : his faith is the hand of his soule , which layeth hold on the promise of mercy : his patience , the tenure of the possession of his soule , his charity , the rule of his life , and his hope , the anchor of his saluation : his study is the state of obedience , and his exercise the continuance of prayer ; his life but a passage to a better , and his death , the rest of his labours : his heart is a watch to his eye , his wit , a doore to his mouth , his soule , a guard to his spirit , and his limmes , but labourers for his body . in summe , hee is rauisht with diuine loue , hatefull to the nature of sinne , troubled with the vanities of the world , and longing for his ioy but in heauen . finis .