Picturæ loquentes. Or Pictures drawne forth in characters VVith a poeme of a maid. By Wye Saltonstall. Saltonstall, Wye, fl. 1630-1640. 1631 Approx. 79 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 66 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A11388 STC 21645 ESTC S101219 99837036 99837036 1340 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A11388) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 1340) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 975:04) Picturæ loquentes. Or Pictures drawne forth in characters VVith a poeme of a maid. By Wye Saltonstall. Saltonstall, Wye, fl. 1630-1640. [132] p. Printed by Tho. Cotes, and are to be sold by Tho. Slater, at his shop in the Blacke Fryars, London : 1631. Running title reads: Pictures or characters. A1 is blank. Signatures: A-E¹² F⁶. Reproduction of original in the Folger Shakespeare Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. EEBO-TCP is a partnership between the Universities of Michigan and Oxford and the publisher ProQuest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by ProQuest via their Early English Books Online (EEBO) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Characters and characteristics -- Early works to 1800. 2003-05 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2003-05 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2004-11 Andrew Kuster Sampled and proofread 2004-11 Andrew Kuster Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-01 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Picturae Loquentes . OR PICTVRES Drawne forth in CHARACTERS . With a Poeme of a MAID . By WYE SALTONSTALL . Nè Sutor ultra crepidam . LONDON , Printed by Tho. Cotes , and are to be sold by Tho. Slater , at his shop in the Blacke Fryars . 1631. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Suo . C. S. S. P. D. THe eye can judge of no object in the darke : ●●en so these Pictures ●eing hidden in tene●is , could not be dis●rned , untill the Prin●r brought them to light , and set the forth to the view the world . And the●fore as they lived darknesse , and proc●ded from a minde 〈◊〉 of darke thoughts , have given them darke Dedication since for my self I desire to bee ignot● unknowne to other and for you to who I present them , I kno● no fame can redou● unto you by the ●●eane Essayes , which ●ere written Ocium ●agis foventes , quàm stu●entes gloriae , as Sheap●eards play upon their ●aten pipes , to recre●te themselves , not to get credit . However ▪ 〈◊〉 you finde hereafter ●hat these Pictures are ●ot shadowed forth with those lively and exact Lineaments , which are required in a Character , yet I hope you will pardon the Painter , since all I promise is onely this : Vt cum agis nihil , haec legas & ne nihil agas , defendas ; That when you have nothing to doe , if you reade them , they will keepe you from doing nothing . And so I leave them as a testimony of my love , presuming of your kind acceptation . F. tuus . W. S. To the Reader . SInce the Title is the first leafe that cōmeth under censure , some perhaps will dislike the name of Pictures , and say , I have no colour for it ; which I confesse , for these Pictures are not drawne in colours , but in Characters , representing to the eye of the minde divers severall professions , whith if they appeare more obscure than I could wish ; yet I would haue you know , that it is not the nature of a Character to be as smooth as a bull-rush , but to have some fast and loose knots , which the ingenious Reader may easily untye . The first Picture , is the description of a Maide , which Youngmen may reade , and from thence learne to know , that vertue is the truest beauty . The next follow in their order , being set together in ●his little Booke , that in Winter you may reade ●hem ad ignem , by the fire side , and in Summer ad umbram , under some shadie tree , and there with passe away the tedious houres . So hoping of thy favourable censure , knowing that the least judicious are most ready to judge : I expose them to thy view , with Appelles Motto , Ne Sutor ultra crepidam . Lastly , whether you like them , or leave them , yet the Author bids you welcome : Thine as mine , W. S. THE TABLE . THe World. 1. An Old man. 2. A Woman . 3. A Widdow . 4. A true Lover . 5. A Countrey Bride . 6. A Ploughman . 7. A Melancholy man. 8. A young Heire . 9. A Scholler in the Vniversity . 10. A Lawyers Clarke . 11. A Townesman 〈◊〉 Oxford . 12. An Vsurer . 13. A Wandring Rogue . 14. A Waterman . 15. A Shepheard . 16. A Iealous man. 17. A Chamber laine . 18. A Mayde . 19. A Bayley . 20. A petty Countrey Fayre . 21. A Countrey Alehouse . 22. A Horse race . 23. A Farmers Daughter . 24. A Keeper . 25. A Gentlemans house in the Countrey . 26. FINIS . The Author On his Poeme of a MAYDE . SOme jealous braine may here demand in haste , Can this Mayd that 's so vendible be chaste ? That stands t' allure her Lovers on each Stall , Her liberall beauty so expos'd to all ? I answer , not ; Thy selfe , thy selfe deceive ; 'T is in thy choyce to love , to like , or leave : Yet thus much ; Should she prove more light than meet , She could but thus do penance in a sheet . A MAYDE The Argument . FIrst , a nominall definition of the title of Mayde ; with the description of that habituated Innocencie which should be in them that challenge● at appellation , advising the preservation thereof : ● also a moderation in their carriage : First , nega●●vely , that they be not too coy , nor too kinde : Then ●ffirmatively , that they be modest , curteous , con●ant : And lastly , the object , and finall cause of this ●idestie , which though last in action , is first in 〈◊〉 : Marriage . A MAYDE . WHen God this universall world had fram'd , He plac'd the Epitomy of his worke therein , A virgin Man and Woman , both unstaynd ; ●or Adam knew not Eve , till he knew sin . Whence those that live a single life are said , Still to be Mayds , because at first so made . The ●ame of Mayd we take not in that sense , For that which two may lose but neither win , But for a habit of chaste Innocence ; By time and custome introduc'd within : A constant brest which goodnesse doth containe For love of goodnesse , not for feare of fame . And she in whom this habit we doe finde , Comes neerest sure unto her first creation , Whose body pure containes a purer minde ; Whose thoughts ne're fed on ill by speculation : Many are guiltlesse of the active part , Who yet commit the adulteries of the heart . 'T is not enough for to deserve the name Of Mayde , because in act● she is one ; Perhaps potentia wanted to 〈◊〉 blame , Had that beene granted she had then beene none : Or circumstances wanted , not her will , Of time , and place , concurrent to be ill . Thus forced chastitie no praise yet found , There 's no resistanc● where there 's no temptation● Where 's no assault no victory is crownd , She merrits most , where 's most solicitation : Who being tempted , makes her lookes speake no , Cooling unchast desires like winters snow . 'T is no first pleasures of a Maydens bed , Which do at once find out their birth , and death , Which can deserve the name of Maydenhead , Whose lives are like our winter mornings breath ; Thus ridled : A blacke lambe with blue feete , Here I have 't , but yonder now I see 't . The name of Maidenhead to Maids assignd For modesty which should in them shine cleere : A Maid from modesty may be defind , Who rather strives to be so than appe●re , Whose harmlesse thoughts ne're knew yet to begin To frame or shape out any formes of sin . A Maid thus shown , I next would have her warnd How she her modesty do lay at stake , She that 's forewarn'd may likewise be forearm'd , To keepe what none but by exchange can take , And from her modesty ne're to make divorce , Till 〈◊〉 marriage shall the same enforce . For this once lost , who can againe repaire ? Who can call backe the quicke thoughts of the braine ? Or who can make words trusted to the aire , Revert unto their owner backe againe ? So ●he that once to do this hath begun , Can ne're undoe what once she hath undon . She then that knows the worth of this chast habit Should still beware of any rash privation , Since being totall it can ne're admit , Vnto a habit any backe regression : Water once spilt , who can againe recover ? And this once lost , is lost ( they say ( for ever . And if this can't the looser thoughts restraine , Of some to keepe within their Maiden state : Let them cast up their losses with their gaine , They 'le buy repentance at too deere a rate : When one fled moment shall at once begin , And terminate fond pleasure , not their sin . Let her consider last the shame hence got , Which does reflect at once on more than one , And like some murdering peece insteed of shot , Disperses shame on more than her alone : For ill fame still , than good is longer liv'd , And to the Stocke and Familie is deriv'd . And yet 't is hard for woman to deserve , By thought and deed this Maiden appellation : And yet more hard the same still to preserve , Vnlesse by helpe of modest Education ; By this perhaps she may be taught to frame A Maiden carriage , to a Maiden name . 〈◊〉 or Mayds are vessels , and but weake ones too , 〈◊〉 that if goodnesse be not streight instild , They take in pride , and love though steept in Rue : They know no vacuum but must still be fild . ●ood counsels seasoning makes a Virgin last , ●s vessels ever of first liquors taste . At fifteene yeeres some notions gin to lulke , Of generall evill in a Maidens brest , And then the appetite begins to worke , On what the fancy did at first suggest . For Ovid need not in strickt rules have showne , The Art of love , which Maids can learne alone . Those younger yeeres are flexible , their will ●s soone seduc'd to act some fond transgression , And soone consent importun'd once to ill , Like virgins waxe receiving all impression ; Or like some flower which doth in growth proceed , Themselves got up , streight haste to run to seed . Or like unto an early Rose new blowne , Which each hand strives to plucke from off the stem ; So being ripe they are assoone too gone , And shall be sure to be attempted then . If vertues force secure them not , they stand Like the poore Rose obnoxious to each hand ▪ What did availe Acrisius thickest guardes , When Iove did fall downe in a golden showre In Danaes lap ? He past then all those wards , And to deny him then she had no power . With Maids when one way failes another takes , When Lovers like to Proteus change their shapes . 'T is no cold walls , or Nunnery , no false spies That can secure a Maid that 's once inclind To ill : though wacht by jealous Argus eyes , To act her thoughts a time yet will she find : There is no way to keepe a Maid at all , But when herselfe is like a brazen wall : That can repell mens flatteryes though afarre , And make her lookes her liking soone to show , Which like a frost such thoughts as lustfull are , Nips in the blossome ere they ranker grow . Since then the eye , and gesture speake the heart , A Maiden carriage is a Maids chiefe Art. First , she should not be coy , or proud withall , Though she alone were natures Master-peece ; Nor yet shew undeserued scorne to all , And thinke herselfe a second Iasons fleece : Whom none but he that ventures life must please , And like to Iason saile the Graecian Seas . 〈◊〉 by scorne their ruine thus procure , ●●ting their thoughts soare higher than their place , ●●e yet at last stoopt to some vulgar lure , 〈◊〉 so remaind the objects of disgrace : 〈◊〉 scorne doth still this punishment obtaine , ●●eed of pittie to find scorne againe . ●●uld all perfections that do women grace , ●●joying one whereof , makes many proud , ●●all contracted in one Maidens face ; 〈◊〉 should not keepe them maskt up in a cloud , 〈◊〉 let her beauty which makes Lovers pine , ●●●ike the Sunne , on all at once to shine . 〈◊〉 since their lookes at once can cure & wound , 〈◊〉 like Achilles lance , both hurt and heale , ●●ould not have them cruell tyrants found , ●●hen Lovers do for favour once appeale . 〈◊〉 just god Cupid will revenge that wrong , ●hen Lovers are befoold and scornd too long . 〈◊〉 not too coy , so likewise not so kind 〈◊〉 should not be , as straightway to be mov'd ●ith the false gales of every flattering wind , 〈◊〉 give all cause to thinke themselves belov'd : 〈◊〉 love should passive be , so love t' entertaine , 〈◊〉 be belov'd , not loving all againe . For she that scatters out her love 'mongst many , Since love and truth admits of no division , Can ne're be truly said yet to love any ; For love and truth remaine entirely one : Let Maids then give to one their loves and selfe , To be a Monarchy , no Commonwealth . Though good be better'd by community ▪ Yet since that love and Soveraignty do know No partners , but consists in unity : Maids should not let their loves too cōmon grow ●●or't holds in them , though not in matters civill , A common good is but a private evill . For who 'd spend time in such a vaine assault , To gaine her love , who if she yeeld the same , Like some French Castell will assoone revoult , And let another streight the same obtaine ? She should be proofe against the falsest flattery , And ne're to yeeld upon the strongest battery . For as those Virgins from the Sunne alone , Kindle their vestall lamps , and if the same Be once extinct , they can renew't from none Vnhallowed fire but from the Sun againe . So Maids love should be like that sacred fire , And both from one take light , in one expire . Thus by opposing contraries together , Mayds may from hence avoyd each rash extream● , And since that contraries best do show each other , They may from hence draw forth the golden mean By participation : which they shall find I● to be curteous , not too coy ; too kind . And by a wise discretion well should know , Not to be coy to quench all Lovers fires ; Nor yet so kind but that she can too show Scornefull neglect on mens unchast desires : To mixe these passions well should be her care , To cherish chast hopes , make unchast despaire . She may be curteous when that Lovers woe , Yet not seeme easie streight to condescend To her inferior and her equall too , Yet not below her selfe seeme to descend : She must from time and place take chiefe direction , And from the person vary speech and action . Next curteous , chast she should be , not for feare , Truth●telling time her shame at last might show , But 'cause she loves her chastitie so deare , She would not loos 't , though none the losse might know : ●or 't is no thankes to her whom none did woe To be a Mayd : since 't is an act of two . And to remaine so , let them shun such pleasure As doth pervert the mind by strong temptation ; Then let some businesse give their thoughts no leasure ; For I allow not Maids much contemplation , Since they do seldome such a subject find , As may informe , but often hurt the mind . Nor should they reade books which of some fond Lover , The various fortunes and adventures show ; Nor such as natures secrets do discover , Since still desire doth but from knowledge grow : These bookes if that within the brest remaine , One sparke of ill will blow 't into a flame . Nor too indulgent to herselfe become , Since by soft ease , and by too lofty fare , Rebel desires unto their objects runne , And for the raines of reason do not care : For ease instils a secret close desire , And Bacchus helps to kindle Venus fire . And much lesse should shee through a gadding mind , Converse with women whose suspected fame , May her disgrace , since that we often find , Vices elixar turnes us to the same . Ill women oft spoyle Mayds by conversation , And in the patient worke assimilation . Thus she should still be chast , but not enforc'd To keepe this Maiden chastitie for ever , Since 't is but kept for to be lost at last , And like a flower will , if not gatherd wither ▪ For 't is the finall cause of Maidens carriage , To gaine themselves a fit , and timely marriage . They have no way advancement to derive Vnto themselves , but when they match aright , For 't is their marriage must them honour give , They shine but with a mutaticious light : For womens honours , from their husbands come , As Cynthia borrowes lustre from the Sunne . And sure the fittest time love to engage , Is when to youth , time doth discretion bring , For who can love the winter of her age , That ne're enioy'd part of youthfull spring ▪ Let them improve their time then , least at last , The brazen head in them speake , time is past . And since that marriage is a strickt relation , Me thinkes good counsell were not here in vaine , That they be sure to make a good foundation , Since that they cannot play their cast againe : For hence their future good is lost or wonne , And once to erre , is still to be undone . Yet to propound such rules I do not know , By which their choyce herein may never faile , Since he that feares the winde shall never sowe , Nor he yet build , that counsell takes of all . In somethings we can but advise our best , But must commit to fortune all the rest . First , let not then the love of wealth so sway Their minds to match with age , for then they must But sacrifice their youth up as a pray , To feed the Vulture of some beastly iust : And what can be more horrid thought or said , Than aged impotency is unto a Maid ? For though that beauty can make age turne Lover And like Medeas charmes can youth advance , And dead desires againe to life recover , Which streight againe are kild with dalliance : Yet all this fire is but like sparkes that lye Conceald in ashes , lives ▪ and so doth dye . Nor yet to match with some rich suite of cloaths Some outside , being but a man in seeming , That can set forth his love with gracefull oathes ; Protesting that which is not worth beleeving : His love is lust , fruition to obtaine , Which once enioy'd , his love turnes ha●e againe . Nor yet with some young beardlesse Heire to lye , Who like Adonis would some Venus tyre , To prompt his boyish thoughts which stili did flie Her meaning , and could raise but quench no fire , A shadow there of marriage but appeares , When there 's so great disparity of yeares . But let her chuse out one that may but be Her iust immediate Senior , for 't is ever Observ'd that they doe alwaies best agree , Who have both spent their youth & age together . But that they prosper'd who can e're remember , When youthfull May was match't with cold December ? And much lesse should they be enforc't to love , Or swayd to like by some match-making mother ; But where equality of desires do move , First ●et them like , and after paire together : When that his yeeres , her yeeres do equalize , And when their natures both do sympathize . And if she chuse she must too likewise take , Letting her love in one begin and end ; She must be fixt and but one center make , To which the lines of her affection tend : For she must be a subject but to one , Whose being must consist in her alone . If of love she make a deed of gift , And before witnesse do confirme the same , For to revoke it backe she has no shift , Or to reverse her deed thus made againe : Her love thus given to one she can't deny , Since in loves Court no writs of error lye . Her word must here irrevocable stand , More fixt than any Chancery decree , Which as though written by the Eternall hand , Can ne're be alterd by posterity . For let her thinke when once she plights her love , The same is registred streight in heaven above . But such a lover let her still detest , Who 'fore the appointed day of resignation , Would of her modesty be fore-possest , By an old figure of praeoccupation . 'T is lust that hunts thus hotly to obtaine , When true love seekes but love for love againe . For when the Tirian Queene did make her feast , She should not then have let Aeneas tasted Those pleasures which she might have wisely gest , By their enioying would be soone too wasted . For nature can't her actions so suspend , But having once begun , she hasts to end . Let her not then be drawne to make surrender , Of that which doth so sweeten expectation , That Lovers even joy when they remember , The day shall give their hopes full consummation : When she with blushes shall unwilling yeeld , And weakely striving lose at last the field . This day once come , she must then understand , That marriage is a Tenure not at will , But with her heart to one must give her hand , To hold for Terme of life , for good or ill ; The Church affoords but witnesse to this act , Till both the parties seale to this contract . And now 't is time to bid the Bride good-night , Having brought her thither where she now must leave , The thought of father , mother , & delight In one alone , and unto one must cleave ; Tying their loves with such a Gordian knot , None can but death like Alexander cut . FINIS . Picturae Loquentes . OR PICTVRES drawne forth in Characters . 1. The World. IS a Stage , men the Actors , who seldome goe off with an applause , often are hist at . Or it may bee likened to a Scale or Praedicament of Relation , wherin the King is the summum genus , under whom are many subordinate degrees of men , till at last wee descend to the Begger the Infima species of mankind , whose misery cannot be subdivided into any lesser fortune . The world contemns a Scholler , and learning makes a Scholler contemn the world . Arts and Sciences are accounted here meere speculations , terminated onely in the knowledge of their subjects ; and therefore the most study the great volume of the world , and striue to reduce knavery to practise . Poverty is accounted as spreadingly contagious as the Plague , he that is infected with it is shun'd of all men , and his former friends looke upon him as men looke upon Dials with a skew countenance , and so finding him in the afternoone of ●his fortunes , passe by him . Acquaintance is heere chosen with the bravest , not with the wisest : and a good shute makes a man good company . The cheefest goddesse heere ador'd is riches , she might have her Temple as well as Iuno , Minerva , and the rest , but in liew thereof shee takes up every mans heart , and for her sacrifice exacts their first morning thoughts , so that the most universall government is now a Ploutocracy . Friends are onely here but concomitants of felicity , being like the Leaves of Trees which sticke to them close in summer , but fall off from them in winter when they most neede them . To make love the foundation of marriage is contem'd as befitting the Innocency of Arcadian Sheapheards , and therefore now they marry portions and take wifes as things to boote . This perhaps glewes the eldest sister into some foolish family , while the younger perhaps has nothing but naturs talent , which while she puts to use , spoyles all . When men looke for happines here , t is a signe they expect none above , striving to make heaven descend to earth , as though they were loath to take the paines to goe thither . To conclude and not flatter the world , shee is the fooles paradise , the wise mans skorne , the rich mans heaven who is miserably happy , the poore mans hell who is happily miserable , for these two shall hereafter exchange their condition . 2. An Old Man. IS loath to bid the world goodnight , hee knowes the grave is a long sleepe , and therefore would sit up as long as he could . His soule has long dwelt in a ruinous tenement , and yet is so unwilling to leave it that it could be content to sue the body for reparations . He lives now but to be a burthen to his friends , as age is to him , and yet his thoughts are as farre from death as he is nigh it . Howsoever time be a continued motion , yet the Dyall of his age stands still at 50. that 's his age for ten yeeres afterward , and loues such a friend that like a flattering glasse tels him hee seemes far younger . His memory is full of the actions of his youth , which he often historifies to others in tedious tales , and thinks they should please others because himselfe . His discourses are full of parenthesis , and his wordes fall from him as slowly as water from an Alimbeck ; drop by drop . He loves the chimney corner and his chaire which he brags was his grandfathers , from whence he secures the cubboard from the Catts and Dogges , or the milke from running over , and is onely good to build up the architecture of a seacole fyre by applying each circumstant cynder . When his naturall powers are all impotencyes , hee marries a young wench for warmth sake , and when he dyes makes her an estate durante viduitate onely for widdowhood . At talke hee commonly uses some proverbiall verses gathered perhaps from cheese-trenchers or Schola Salerna , which he makes as applyable , as a mountebancks plasters to all purposes , all occasions . He cals often to the Servingman for a cup of Sacke , and to that end stiles him friend ; and wonders much that new wine should not bee put in old ●ottels . Though the proverbe be , once a man and ●wice a child , yet he hopes from his second childhood ●o runne backe into his ●eenes , and so be twice a man too . Lastly , he 's a ●andle burnt to the snuffe , she ruines onely of a man , whose soule 〈◊〉 the salt of his body to keepe it from stincking , and can ●carcely performe that ●oo . 3. A Woman . IS the second part of the little volume of man , and differs from him onely in her errataes , which can't be mended , because shee comes out worst still in the last impression . Though mens desires range after variety , yet they finde no change , since in one woman all are epitomizd ; for nature is a skilfull painter and seldome erres , shee that drew one , drew all . The cheefect object of their creation is procreation , and the continuation of the Species of mankinde ; for when God first gave her to man , he gave her with this blessing , Increase and multiply . She was then call'd a helper , and so shee is still ; for to many she helpes to vndoe them . Shee 's like unto a running Lottery ; a man may draw forty blanks before hee gets one prize . Her apparell is but like a sauce to a good dish , to stirre and provoke the appetite to take a taste of her selfe : Or like an envious curtayne , which our fancy perswades us conceales many rarityes from us , but being once withdrawne failes much in the expectation : Shee may be ty'rd before satiated , and therefore is one of Salomons three things that cry , Give , give , hell , woman , and the grave . For her teares they must be distinguisht , for they are not onely the effects of sorrow , sometimes of deceit , sometimes anger , and can bid them flow in a plentifull manner when shee list . Shee 's full of mutability and like Aprill weather , can laugh and weepe at once . Or shee 's like a stratagem of warre , which admits of no second errors , for to him that marryes a woman ; once to erre is for ever to be undone . If shee have beauty shee growes proud oft at fifteene , begins to looke for suters , and baites them with laying forth her haire , smothing the superficies of her face , and frequents publick meetings that she may the better publish her beauty , which she knowes is a flower will not long last , and therefore desires it may bee soone gathered . Shee is naturally curious and inquisitiue to know all things , but carelesse to conceale any . And hee that commits a secret to her , may as well put water into a sive or cullender , and may looke to have both kept alike . Lastly , shee is but a costly vanity , the folly of wise men , the shell of our generation , more deceitefull than horseflesh ; an instument that may bee easily plaid upon , for it ha's but one stoppe , and yet that makes musicke too . 4. A Widdow . IS like a cold Pye thrust downe to the lower end of the Table , that has had too many fingers in 't , or the last letter of the Greeke Alphabet Omega . To a younger brother shee 's a reversion after three lives● for after the death of three husbands , shee commonly ●elpes to reedifie his rui●ous fortunes againe . If hee be rich , her chamber ●ntertaynes more suters ●●an a Lawyars does clients 〈◊〉 Terme time , and for ●hat purpose keepes a wai●ing Gentlewoman , upon ●hom she pretends to be●tow the dowry of a good ●ducation , but indeed uses ●er as a portall to a great ●oome to give accesse to ●rangers . Shee praises ●uch her former husband , ●or whom while shee ●ournes in her gowne shee ●aughs in her sleeve , to ●hinke how shee shall gull ●er following sutors with this formality of sorrow whiles shee enforces 〈◊〉 customary sigh as a tribute to the memory of her bes● deceased . Hee that marryes her condemnes him selfe perpetually to digg● in a colepit , and insteed o● Rosemary may carry Ru● to the Church , for the Plague followes him . She 's a good Logician , and seldome denies the major often the minor , because shee knowes ther 's small force or validity in 't . Her daughters ( if she have any ) out of the guilty consciousnesse o● her owne youth , are foulded up a nights in her owne chamber for feare of straying , and in the day time mewd up in some inner parler to be objects of a strangers salutation , who is more tyrd to salute them , than a French Cooke that hath many dishes to taste which gives the best relish . Shee must be wooed in a ●onverted order from a maide , for in the one wee must begin from love to end in action , but in the other from action to gaine ●oue . For her apparell 't is much like herself , too much porne , and serves but as a ●ainted cloath to cover a ●otten wall . Her house is ●ell furnished both for or●ament and use , onely herselfe is the worst peece in 't . She condemns much the hasty marriage of mayds , when herselfe thought fifteene too long . Her rings are so many cheates from severall suters , in one of which shee commonly weares a deaths head , but is indeed herselfe a better embleame of mortality for memento mori like a Motto to bee written in her forehead . Lastly shee 's a canceld bond that has beene long before seal'd and delivered , and is now growne out of date . 5. A true Lover . IS one whose Soule hath made choyce of a mistrisse to serve and obey : and this service proceeds not from feare but love , and he loves wer not for her beauty , but ●or her inward vertue , which shines through the coverings of her body , as gold worke shadowed un●er Lawne . His desires are so chast that if he thought enjoying would abate his ●ove , he had rather still love ●han injoy . In his visits hee ●ses a playne eloquence , as ●est becomming the truth of his affections , Telling her that he loves her , and then supplyes the rest with sighs . If she wish for any thing , her wishes are his commands , and he runnes to provide it for her . If his mistrisse bee wrong'd , hee makes his owne sword , the sword of justice to right her , and he thinkes injur't loue the fairest Quarrell ▪ Hee loves her not for wealth or portion , but per se that is , for herselfe , and could bee content to take her as Adam tooke Eve , though shee were naked When shee speakes hee thinkes he heares the Lute of Orpheus , and so stands amaz'd like a wondring statue , till the close of her speech dis-enchants him . If her answer be full of scorne and disdaine , hee retires to some solitary place , breathing forth his complaint to Rocks & Mountaines , where Eccho from her hollow dwelling replyes againe : and when he cryes shee is cruell , Eccho cryes againe shee is cruell too , and so pleases his sad minde by soothing up his sorrowes . Thus her frownes become his frenzy , he knowes not what to doe , fayne hee would doe something , but then he dislikes that something , and so does just no●hing . If he take his Lute , he quarrels with the strings , and cannot please himselfe in tuning it ; when indeede the discord is in his owne thoughts . If at last shee vouchsafe to write to him , hee receives her letter with more adoration than a Sybils leafe , and having bestowed some kisses on the paper , opens it to know the blest contents , and in answering it spends much time , before hee can resolve what to answer . Yet at last love quickens his Invention , and fils his brayne with choyse fancies , while he invokes no other Muse but his mistrisse . Thus he lives like a man tost in Cupids blanket , and yet is so constant to his sufferings , that he could be content to be Loves martir , and dye in the flames of love , onely to have this Epitaph : Heere lyes the true Lover . 6. A Country Bride . IS a Sacrifize to Venus ; led to Church by two young Batchlers . And all the way is pavd with strewings on which shee treads so lightly , that shee hardly bruses a gentle flower , while the maids attend upon her with Rosemary and Ribbons , the ensignes of a wedding . Being come to Church , her marriage knot is soone tyde , and the Ring put on her thumbe , as an embleme of affection , which like a circle should be endlesse . The fidlers now crou'd on , till being come home the mysterious Bride-Cake is broke over their heads , in the remembrance of the ould Romane custome of confarreation ; and afterwards she is plac'd at the upper end of the Table to denoate her Supremacy in houshold matters . Heere she minces it , and is ready to cut her fingers with too much modesty , while the name of Bride makes her simper like a pot that 's ready to run o're , for shee conceits , some strange matters , and could wish the day were shorter though it be at Christmas . Dinner once done they fall to country dances , where the lusty Laddes take the Bride to taske , and all to bepecke the floore with their hobnayles , while they bestirre themselves out of measure , and are onely rewarded with a concluding smack from the brides lips . Thus the Bride is but the maygame of a country village , that fil's the towne with mirth and musicke : Till night comes , and then shee is layd in her husbands armes , where the Curtaines being drawne , wee must leave them , and leave you to thinke out the rest your selfe . 7. A Ploughman . IS the Earths midwife , & helpes to deliver her of her yearely burthen . His labour frees her in part from the curse of the barrennesse , which shee repayes againe with a fruitfull crop . Hee 's the best vsurer , for when he sowes the grayne , hee lookes to have it repayd with the sevenfold Interest . His antiquity is from Abel , the first tiller of the ground , and himselfe goes like an Adamite alwayes in skinne . When he hangs betweene the Ploughstilts , you have his true posture , where hee 's seldome an upright man , for he leanes most to one side . A whole flight of Crowes follow him for their food , and when they fly away they give him ill language . The smell of the earth makes him hungry , for hee brings home an invincible stomach , and nothing holds him tacke but a barley pudding . Hee unyokes with the Sunne , and so comes whisling home his teame , which consists of Horse or Oxen , and his care is to see them meated before himselfe . This done hee 's set to supper , where his meales are not lasting because violent ; for hee eates hard for the time , and when he finds himselfe satisfied , puts up his knife , with a God be praysed . In the winter nights the mending of his whip or shooes find him businesse , and for that purpose buyes hob-nayles at Faires . His greatest pride is a faire bandpoynt , and to weare a posy in his hat snatcht from the maid Ioane . Hee prayes onely for a faire seedetime , and of all dayes will bee sure to keep Plough-munday . If he fall in love , hee 'le be sure to single her out at the next Wake to dance with , and layes such blowes on her lips you may heare the smacke afarre off . If shee reject him , he growes melancholy , and insteed of sighes whistles out his breath ; and if hee have a Riuall , challenges him at footeball . Rainy dayes makes him onely idle , for when he cannot plough yet he goes to the Harrow because 't is an Alehouse . Here he dare lose his two pots at Noddy and spends his hostesse more chalke to reckon it than her gaines are worth . In a word though he have no signe , hee 's the Lands cheefe victualer , a good harvest is ▪ his happinesse , and the last seede hee sowes is his owne bodye which he knowes like his graine , though it seeme to perish , yet shall spring againe . 8. A melancholy Man. IS a full vessell which makes not so great a sound , as those that are more empty and answer to every knocke . His wise parsimony of words shewes more wisedome , than their many , which are oftentimes more than wise . Hee can be merry without expressing it by an ignorant laughter : And if his company screw themselves up to an excessive straine of mirth ; he proves amongst them but like a jarring string to a consort of musicke , and cannot raise himselfe to so high a note of jollity . When other men strive to seeme what they are not , hee alone is what he seemes not , being content in the knowledge of himselfe , and not waying his owne worth in the ballance of other mens opinions . If he walke and see you not , 't is because his mind being busied in some serious contemplation , the common sense has no time to judge of any sensuall object . Hee 's hardly with much invitation drawne to a feast , where every man sits an observer of another mans action , and had rather with Diogenes wash his owne Roots at home , than with Aristippus frequent the Court of Kings . His actions shew no temerity , having beene long before Intentions , and are at last produc'd as the ripe issue of a serious , and deliberate resolution . His speech shewes more matter in 't than words , and like your gold coyne contaynes much worth in a little , when other mens is but like brass-farthings , and expresses little in much . As his apprehensions so his passions , are violent and strong , not enduring on the suddaine any opposition of good counsell , but like a torrent beares downe all before it . If he fall in love , he wooes more by letter than his owne presence , and is not hasty in the desire of fruition . His apparell is playne like himselfe , and shewes the riches of his mind , which contemnes a gaudy outside as the badge of fooles . He goes therefore commonly in blacke , his Hat unbrusht , a hasty gate with a looke fixt on the ground , as though he were looking pins there , when yet his mind is then soaring in some high contemplation ; and is then alwayes most busy , when hee seemes most idle . 9. A young Heire . IS a Gamester at Noddy , one and twenty makes him out , if he have a flush in his hand , expect him shortly to shew it without hiding his cardes . For his fathers Avarice hee runs into the other extreame prodigality ; his hand is of the quality of lightening , which melts his money in his purse , but leaves his purse entirely whole . In all companies though almost his equalls , he arrogates to himselfe supremacy of payment , and like a good Souldier withstands all the shot , letting none disperse among the rest . During his minority hee 's but a companion to Servingmen , who quickly make him proud by buzzing him in the eare with his future inheritance . Next to his father he looks for a secondary respect from the Tenants , and is much affected with the title of young Landlord . His mothers indulgence keepes him still at home , like a b●rd in a cage , so that when he gets forth hee 's soone ensnar'd by any shee fowler and fals downe to her stales straightway . When hee has wit enough to divide Commons , hee 's sent perhaps to Oxford , and having stayd there the dabling of a fresh mans growne , comes home againe , being content rather to eate Suger-plums at home , than taste there of the bitter roote of Learning . From hence hee 's transported to the Inns of Court , and dotes much upon the first chapter of Littletons Tenures concerning feesimple , because his owne estate . His fathers long life is his lingring sicknesse , and wishes to be once able to say the first petition of our Lords prayer , Our father which art in heaven . After his decease , hee takes Armes afresh of the Herauld , and payes for crest , and Motto . Hee walkes now next to the wall with a sweld countenance , and speakes as hautily to his inferiours , as though he had swallowed a Lordship already , and the Steeple stuck in his throate . His knowne estate in the countrey proposes him varieties of matches , and his wealth , not his witt win's him affection . Hee 's now beholding to Poets for lovesonnetts , and the posy of his wedding Ring . Beeing thus fixt in one center , his next ambition is to bee prickt downe Iustice of peace ; now his warrants have more vertue in them than himselfe . Hee 's terrible now to his Tennants , and by his authority can out of his chaire nodde a Beggar to the Stockes . In his discourse his inferiors must now grant him the better , and at his owne table if hee breake a saltlesse jest , all must applaud him . Thus hee lives till time making him grow ould , what was folly in youth now proves dotage , having his desires of his fathers death punisht now at last in the same desires of his heyre , who would gladly give Cloakes for him without mourning , and afterwards bury him in the Sepulchar of his fathers . 10. A Scholler in the Vniversity , MAy bee knowne by a harmelesse innocent looke ; his nose seemes to be raw for want of fyres in winter , and yet has such a quicke sent , that he quickly smells out his chopt mutton commons a farre off . In his freshmanship hee 's full of humility , but afterward ascends the steps of ambition by degrees . He studies so long words of Art , that all his learning at last is but an Art of words . His discourse is alwayes grounded out of Aristotle , in whose 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 hee puts as much confidence as in his Creede . In his letters hee 's often ready to shake the whole frame of the sense to let in some great word , affecting a nonsenticall eloquence before propriety of phrase ; If hee were compeld to salute a Gentlewoman , hee would tremble more than ever hee did in pronouncing his first declamation . Hee often frequents Booke-binders shops , for his unconstant humour of tumbling over many bookes , is like a sicke mans pallat , which desires to taste of every dish but fixes on none . The Vniversity Library is his magazine of learning , where hee 'le be sure to bee seene in his formalityes assoone as hee s graduated ; for the liberty thereof expresses him a Batchelour . He earnestly enquires after the weekely Currantoes , and swallowes downe any newes with great confidence . His cheefest curtesy to strangers , is to shew you his Colledge Buttery , and to skonce himselfe a halfepeny farthing for your ententainement . If you seeme to admire the names of their small divisions , as halfepeny , farthing , and the like , out of a selfe simplicity he straight laughes at your ignorance . And if you contend for priority in going forth , puts you downe with a stale complement . 〈◊〉 est Peregrini . When he makes a journey 't is in the vacation , and then hee canvises a fortnight aforehand amongst his friends for Bootes and Spurres . His purse like the Sea is governd by the Moone , for he has his severall ebbes and tides , according as hee receives his severall exhibitions from his friends . Lastly , hee weares out a great deale of time there to know what kind of Animal he is , contemns every man that is not a Graduate if himselfe be one , and because he professes himselfe a Scholler , goes commonly in blacke , and many times 't is all he has to shew for 't . 11. A Lawyers Clearke . HIs father thought it too chargable to keepe him at Schoole til he could reade Harry Stottle , and therefore preferd him to a man of Law. His maister is his genius , and dictates to him before he sets pen to paper . If he be to make a Bond or Bill , for feare of writing false Latin , he abbreviates the ending and termination of his word with a dash , and so leaves it doubtfull . He sits night the dore to give accesse to strangers , and at their going forth gives them a legge in expectation . His master is a cunning jugler of lands and knowes how to convay them underhand , hee onely coppyes them over againe , and lookes for a fee for expedition . His utmost knowledge is the names of the Courts and their severall offices , and begins after a while like a Pie that his tongue slit , to chatter out some tearmes of Law , with more audacity than knowledge : At a new play hee 'le be sure to be seene in the threepeny Roome , and buyes his pippins before he goes in , because hee can have more for mony . When hee heares some stale jest ( which he best apprehends ) he fils the house with an ignorant laughter . He weares cutfingerd dogskin gloves , for his ease , or the desire of bribes makes his hands grow itchy . In the vacation his master goes into the countrey to keepe Courts , and then hee 's tide to a Cloakebagge and rides after him . He cals himselfe the hand of the Law , and commends the wisedome thereof , in having so many words goe to a bargaine , for that both lengthens them , and makes his fees the larger . Hee would faine read Littleton if he might have a comment on him , otherwise hee 's too obscure , and dotes much on Wests Symboliography for teaching him the forme of an acquittance . In his freshmanship he hunts after cheape venerye , and is in debt to the Cooke , for Eele pyes on fasting dayes , and friday nights . The corruption of him is a weake Atturney , then he trafiques with countrymens businesses , and brings them downe a bill of charges , worse than a Taylers for a suite in the last fashion , and here we leave him , for now hee 's at the highest . 12. A Townesman in Oxford . IS one that hath long liv'd by the well of knowledge , but never sipt at it , for he loves no water in his wine , though it come frō Hellicon . Hee gaynes most by the recentity of freshmen , unto whom he sticks as close as a Horseleech , till hee have suckt out the superfluity of their purses . His wife commonly makes him free by her owne coppy , and in spight of Pembroke Colledge keepes open Broade-gates still . Hee loves not a Scholler in his heart , for he sides against them in any faction though it be but at a match at footeball . His phrase savours somewhat of the university , being fragments glean'd from other mens mouthes , and gives his words such a punctuall stiffe pronunciation , as though they were starcht into his mouth , and durst not come out faster for feare of ruffling . A Scholler had better take up any wares of his wife than of him , for hee 'le bee sure to make them pay for the expectation of their carrier . He takes ill words because he knowes he deserves them , and yeelds the supremacy of the wall to any gowne . If the opinion of his riches chuse him Alderman , he thinkes himselfe as wise as any Romane Senator , after this if he can but call a poore man Rogue , and reade a proclamation , hee may bee thought eligible for Maior . He frequents Sermons at St. Maryes onely to spye out his debters , whom he afterwards haunts at their Colledge , aud troubles with knocking at their Chamber dores , but receives no answer , for hee 's knowne as well there as a Sergeant in the Innes of Court , and alike hated . Hee 's no Logician , and yet sometims concludes a Syllogisme in Bocardo , and is hardly reduc'd from thence . Lastly , hee 's a burre that stickes close to freshmens gownes , a seducer of hopefull wits , & one that strives to wrythe the pliantnesse of youth to all ill actions . 13. An Vsurer . MVst be drawne like to those pictures that have a double aspect , which if you behold one way seemes to be a man , but the otherway a divell . Hee grounds the lawfulnesse of his vsury from the Parable , wherein the servant was not approv'd of , that had not inprov'd his talent , hee 'le be sure therefore not to hide his , but make the best use of it . Hee gets into mens estats as Cutpurses get cloakes in the night , if he can but winde himselfe into a peece of 't , hee 'le bee sure to get it all at last . Or like an Essex ague , will shake whole Lordships into a consumption . His case for heaven is very dangerous , because he sins still with security . Hee 's an excellent Cooke to dresse a young Heire , for hee first pluckes off his feathers , and afterwards serves him up to the world with woodcocke sauce . His Clearke is the Vulcan , that forges the Bonds and Shackels which he imposes on other men . If you come to borrow money of him , if hee feele out your necessity , hee 'le be sure to make you pay for 't , and his first question will bee , what 's your security ? He could finde in his heart to be circumcis'd for a Iew , if he thought he might thrive more by his usury . His pining covetous thoughts eates off his flesh from his body , and as though he bad beene layne in Lime , makes him looke like a living Anatomy . All his life is a goulden dreame , for he dreames of nothing but gould , and this red earth is all the heaven hee expects . To conclude , hee 's one that makes haste to be rich , and therefore can't bee innocent . Like theeves he vndoes men by binding them . And lastly , his estate is raysed out of the ruines of whole families , which first sends him in ill getting it , and afterward his sonne in ill spending it , both to the Devill ; and there I leave them . 14. A wandring Rogue , IS an Individuum Vagtim , a wandring Plannet . He alone contemns fortune , for what shee never gave , shee can never take away from him , The vayles of his apparell is not much worth , for 't is a rapsody of Ragges which at michaelmas begins with the leaves of trees to fall off from him and leave him starke naked . Hee keepes no table , and yet has a great retinue of hangers on , which almost devoure him alive . If hee had wit he might professe himselfe a Lawyer , for he has beene often call'd to the barre , though 't were but to pleade not guilty . Hee thinkes himselfe as auncient a gentleman as the best , and can deduce his pettigree from Adam . Hee professes often fortunetelling by looking in your hand , and yet knowes not his owne for all 't is burnt there . He keepes a catalogue of all Gentlemens houses , but dares not come neare a Iustice of Peaces for feare of his inexorable Mittimus . He stiles himselfe a traveller , and indeed it is thought if he had learning , he might make a good description of England , for hee knowes all the high-wayes , though not at his fingers , yet his toes-end . He 's alwayes accompanied with some durty Doxie , whom hee never marryes , but lyes with under a hedge , and thinkes it a sure contract , because 't is in the sight of heaven . On the highway if hee meete a Travelour unweapon'd , he begges stoutly of him , and so extorts a benevolence rather for feare , than charity . And at last if his heart serve him , hee falls quite from begging to robbing , which he finds more gainefull and ready to preferment , for it advances him to the Gallows , and now hee 's at the highest , where wee leave him to make the world his priest by a confession . 15. A Waterman . IS like a peece of Hebrew spel'd backeward , or the embleame of deceite , for he rowes one way & lookes another . When you come within ken of them , you shall heare a noyse worse than the confusion of Bedlem , and if you goe with a Skuller , the Oares thinke you no Gentleman . Hee carryes many a banquerout over the water , and yet when he set's them ashore makes them Landed men . If you dislike the roughnesse of the water , he warrants you a safe passage , and on that condition , gives you his hand to helpe you into the Boate , and his first question is , where you 'le bee ? Though hee bee ne're sober yet hee 's ner'e drunke , for he lives by water , and is not covetous to get any great estate , for hee 's best contented when hee goes most downe the winde . A fresh water Souldier hee is , and therefore gets to weare some Noblemans badge to secure him from pressing . He knowes all newes , and informes men of the names of noble mens houses toward the Thames . A man would take him for a very busy fellow , for hee has an Oare in every Boate , which though it leake not , yet 't is ever ready to take water . Hee 's so seldome drunke that 't is chalkt up for a miracle , for he goes commonly on the score . Thus he lives and when he dyes , hee 's sure his soule shall passe to the Elisian fields , for if Charon should deny him passage , hee meanes to steale his Boate , and so ferry himselfe over . 16. A Sheapheard . IS a happy man , and yet knowes not of it ; his cheefe unhappinesse consists in not knowing his owne happinesse . In Summer time hee enthrones himselfe on the top of some high Mountaine , from whence his eye is entertayned with variety of Landskips , whilst his sheepe promiscuously chuse out the threepild grasse in the valley . Hee 's the Embleme of a King or Priest , and his sheepe are his Subjects . He uses his dogge as Kings their Lawes , oftner to restra●ne than punish offerees ; for if any of his sheepe chance to transgresse the bounds of their sheepewalke , he whistles out his dogge to fetch them in againe . Hee makes not his stomacke observe any set times of meales , but makes his meales keepe time with his stomacke , and then sits downe on his grassye carpet , instead of tapestry , and what ever his fare be , content furnisheth out his Table . His cheefest ambition is to bee elected the Sheapheards King , which he obtaines not by any corrupt suffrage , but by having the first Lambe yeand that yeare . His profession is one of the ancientest , and is onely younger brother unto husbandry , as Abel was to Kaine . Whatsoever is fabled of Iason , he alone gets the golden fleece without savling for't . To strangers h●e's a living Mercury , & if he be layd , poynts them out their way with his foote , instead of his hand , and his knowledge seldome extends farther than the reach of his eye . His common standing posture is crossleggd , and when he drives his sheepe , his lamenesse makes him keepe equall pace with them . When he marries hee 's no ward to have a match inforc'd upon him , but chuses where hee list amongst the Sheapherdesses , where a mutuall and reciprocall love on both sides clappes up the match without any by-respect of Ioynture . This day the rest of the Swaynes ( having first presented his bride unto him crown'd with a chaplet of flowers ) solemnize with dauncing and singing Roundelaes , wherein the simplicity of their performance gives a peculiar grace to every action . Afterward his care becomes hers , she helpes him to pitch the hurdles , and at night foldes him in her owne armes . Hee 's a good phisitian to his sheepe , and his Tarrbox affords a generall medicine for any outward application . Hee ●ackes nothing but some businesse for his thoughts , for were he a Scholler hee has the best leasure for contemplation that could bee . And lastly as Alexander wisht if he were not Alexander to be Diogenes , so if all knew his happinesse , they would wish to bee Sheapheards . 17. A Ielous Man. HIs care and feares are all to know what would vex him more being once knowne . His passion proceeds from the superfluity of his love , or from the consciousnesse of some deficiency or inability in himselfe . His unwise and ielous fearefullnesse to bee deceived , often teaches her the way to deceive him , and makes her desirous to prove that difference of other men which he so much suspects . Hee dares not invite his friend to his house , for feare hee should salute his wife , which hee esteemes as a Prologue to an ensuing comedye . At ●able hee observes upon whom his wife scatters most favorable lookes ( for hee feares there may bee a dialogue of eyes aswell as ●ongues : ) whom shee of●enest drinks to , whom shee ●omes to , and then his sus●ition comments upon every action . Hee 's witty in ●●venting trialls of his ●ives chastity , and hee ●retendeth verie often journeyes into the Countrey , thereby to make her more secure in his absence , but returnes againe unexpectedly . Sometimes hee attends her in unknowne disguises , urges her with earnest sollicitation , and is so hasty for his hornes that he could bee content to bee his owne Cuckoldmaker . His ielous thoughts are ready to bastardize his Children , and if they bee not in every respect like himselfe , thinkes them not his owne . His feare of being rob'd is worse than the robbery it selfe , a woman being like an untold summe of mony , wherein the honor is ●ot sensible of any small ●hieft . In his thoughts hee ●ommends much the securi●y of the Italian Padlocke , and could willingly put it ●n practise too . His house ●s divided into factions , ●etts every Servant to bee a ●pye over his fellow , and ●ll of them over his wife . ●f she strive to please him , he ●hinkes it 's but to deceive ●im ; if not to please him , ●ee thinkes shee 's better ●leas'd with others . To conclude , hee 's a man pos●est with a mixt passion of ●ove-melancholy , which he more easily entertaines than ●s quit off . His ielousy like ●inegar dryes up his blood ; hence his palenesse . Hee wishes himselfe unmaried , and thinks when he chang'd his batchelour buttons for Rosemary , hee lost the best flower in his garden . Lastly whole numbers may bee made out of fractions , but Ielosy makes an irreparable division of love , which growes worse by continuance . 18. A Chamberlaine . IS the first Squire that gives entertainement to errant strangers . At your first alighting hee straight offers you to see a Chamber , but has got the tricke of tradesmen to show you the worst first . Hee 's as nimble as Hamlets ghost heere and every where , and when he has many guests , stands most upon his pantofl●s , for hee 's then a man of some calling . His gayne consists most in gratuities & retayling of faggotts , wherein hee 's allowd fourteene to the dozen , and what he can over-reckon is his owne gaine . Hee 's Secretary to the Kitching and Tapstry , and payes himselfe his owne fees in adding something to every particular . He takes wages of no man , and yet serves every man. Hee may seeme a base fellow over night , but in the morning you shall find him a man of some reckoning . When you aske what 's to pay , hee comes downe and returnes againe with a generall totall , which if you dislike , hee offers to prove it by an Induction of particular Items . Your Tapster takes great care that your jugges shall ne're be full , and the Chamberlayne that they shall ne're b●e empty , for hee 'le carry them away halfe full . You shall sooner get fresh litter for your hor●e , than cleane sh●et●s for your selfe , for hee has a tricke by wetting them to make them feele damp , and so having smooth'd up the matter , if you dislike them , he straight equivocates , and sweares they were never layne in since they were last wet . When hee 's cald up a mornings , he gapes as though he were Sea-sicke , and afterward like the embleame of deceit , brings fire in one hand and water in the other . If you save the remainder of your meate for breakefast , hee grumbells , for he holds that Tenent , that wee ought not to care for the morrow . Lastly , his life for ease is ●ust about Serving man-like , and commonly runnes the same fortunes , both in their age overtaking beggery ; but I forbeare any farther description since his picture is drawne to the life in every Inne . 19. A Maide . IS a fruite that growes ripe at fifteene , and if she bee not then gathered , falls of her selfe . Till she bee married she thinkes it long , but afterwards she comes shorter of her expectation . I● she keepe a Chambermaide she ly●s , at her bedds feete , and they two say no Pater-nosters , but in the morning tell one another all their wanton dream●s , talke all night long of young men , and will be both sure to fast on St Agnes Night to know who shall bee their first husbands . Her desires grow now impatient of delay , nothing being more tedious than a full ripe maiden-head , which shee lets a Servingman often obtaine by oportunity . When she 's woo'd , like the Lapwing she flyes farthest from her nest ; and because shee can seeme coy in words ; would make you beleeve her thoughts are so too . Shee laughs at those that shoote at Rovers , and make their owne way difficult , when they might sooner hit the marke , and prove themselves better shooters . If she be troubled with night talking , shee confesses all , and her dreames make her blush awake ; when she falls sicke shee 's much affeard to leade Apes in Hell , for she would not willingly dye in Ignorance : she reades now loves historyes as Amadis de Gaule and the Arcadia , & in them courts the shaddow of love till she know the substance , Each morning shee and her glasse helpe to correct the errataes of nature , & comes not out of her Chamber till she be fully drest . Shee learnes many gracefull qualities as dancing and playing , which all propose to themselves no other end but to hasten her marriage . Till which she counts all time as last tarrying , and if her wishes had beene true she had not beene a Maide since shee reacht her teenes first . To conclude , shee 's a fading flower , her wedding night withers her , when she rises againe with an innocent blush , and ne're greeves for her losses . 20. A Baylye ▪ IS the Supervisor of a mannor under the Lord of the Soyle . The Tennants court him to connive at his Masters injuries , but yet underhand hee perswades him to enclose his Common , in hope to have the yeerely letting of it . Though his master bee a Prodigall , yet hee strives to inlarge his waste , for hee informes him of all inchroachments . He trusts his Tablebooke with much of his businesse , and weares a Bre●nors Almanacke in his pocket for the blanks-sake . Hee can cast his face into a buying or bargaining forme , and can soone reduce Pounds , into Markes and Nobles . Hee gives not an account but makes it , and his Arithmetick is onely the rule of falshood ; His addition is by Counters with which hee casts up his Bills , and his skill in Geometry serves him to measure a Roode of hedging , and to know how many pe●ches are contaynd in an Acre . Hee informes his master when Faires happen , where though hee cheate him in buying and selling , yet at night he makes him a faire reckning . Hee has the generall Theory of all husbandry , but his businesse is the direction of other mens labours . His diligence in harvest time is exprest , by being seene often afield with a Forke on his shoulder , and hee cuts grasse alwayes in the change of the Moone . The Tennants hold his masters land in occupation , and hee their wives , and for b●friending them in renewing their Lease , he seales them without witnesse . He knowes how to bounder land , and counts it a haynous offence to remove a merestone . Hee is the apparitour of the Parish , and brings in his presentments against the next court day , with what Iustice the Lord knowes for they are fin'd to them by Amercements . 21. A Petty Countrey Faire . IS the publication of some few Pedlers packs distinguisht into Boothes , which is yet fild with a great confluence of countrey people , who f●ocke thither to buy some triviall necessaries ▪ A farre off it seemes a tumult of white staves , and red petticoates and mu●lers , but when you come nearer they make a fayre shew . The men buy hobnayles and plough-irons , and the woemen houshould trifles , yet such as are for use more than ornament . Your countrey Gentlewomen come thither to buy bonelace , and London gloves , & are onely knowne by a Maske hanging on their cheeke and an Anticke plume of feathers in a Faire , and t' would doe you good to heare them bargaine in their owne dialect . The Inns are this day fild , every man meetes his friend and unlesse they crush a pot they thinke it a dry complement . Heere the young Lads give their Lasses Fairrings , which if shee take with a simpring consent , the next Sunday their banes are bidden . A Balletsinger may be sooner heard heere than seene , for instead of the violl hee sings to the croud . If his Ballet bee of love , the countrey wenches buy it , to get by heart at home , and after sing it over their milkepayles . Gipsies flocke thither , who tell men of losses , and the next time they looke for their purses , they find their words true . At last after much sweate and trampling too and froe , each one carryes home a peece of the Faire , and so it ends . 22. A Countrey Alehouse . IS the center of the Towns good fellowship , or some humble roof't Cottage licens'd to sell Ale. The inward hangings is a painted cloath , with a row of Balletts pasted on it . It smelles onely of smoake and new Wort , and yet the usuall guests thinke it a rare perfume . They drinke noe healths here to Mistresses , but their onely complement is : Here 's to thee neighbour Iobson . They pay here by the polle , for they thinke that many purses makes light shots , as many hands light worke . Their onely game here is Noddy , and that but for a pot of Ale for pastime . 'T is the marri'd mans sanctuary , whither he flyes to avoyde a scoulding wife at home , and thinkes to drench his cares in this Ale lethe . They often make bargaines here , but before they go out , can hardly stand to them . All the postes are Creditors , and the Chalke like an inseparable accident can hardly be wipt of . They drinke here till their mirth and drinke fly out both together , the one in the Chimney and the other in drunken catches , till the streete ring againe , and every pot raises them a note higher . To strangers 't is knowne by the advancement of a May-pole ; and is the onely guest house to Pedlers pilgrimages . L●stly , if there bee two in the Towne , they live in hostile emulation ; and their faction is about brewing the best Ale. 23. A Horse Race . IS a way to let money run away full speed . Amongst the Romanes 't was an Olimpick exercise , and the prize was a Garland , but now they beare the Bell away . 'T is the prodigality of countrey Gentlemen , & the gullery of Londoners ; the one dyets his horse till his purse growes lanck , and the other payes for rash betting . The former would give any thing for a horse of Pegasus Race , or one begot of the wind while the mare turnd her backeside in Boreas mouth . They lay wagers here on their horse heeles , and hope to win it by their running heads . The Riders speake northern howsoever , and though they want many graynes of honest men , yet when they are put into the Scale , they are made weight . The horses are brought hither in their night clothes , and from thence walke downe to the starting post , whence grew the Latine proverbe , a carceribus ad metam . The countrey people have time now to commend white-mayne and Pepper-corne , while the Gentlemen ride up and downe with Bets in their mouthes , crying three to one , till the word Done make it a wager . By this time they are comming up , and the forerunner is receiv'd ovant , with great acclamations of joy , and the hinder man though hee rid booty , yet he shewes that he favour'd nether side by the spur-galling . It being now done , they drop away into the villages , where their tongues run over the race againe , which for that night fills Alehouses with noyse and discourse . 24. A Farmers daughter . IS a pretty peece of Innocence , that 's slow into conceiting love , and had never thought of marriage , but for example sake , when shee saw her youngers goe before her . Shee is handmayd to her mothers huswifery , which by seeing done she makes her owne , and it proves her best portion . Shee 's a Bridemaid to all young couples , where shee weares her Rosemary pinn'd on her Heartside , to shew her affection to Hymens rites ; and if shee see them both abed , shee carries away a strong fancy of the sequell . Shee can sell corne at the next Market , and while shee rides thither on her sacke , her short coats administers a temptation in discovering her Legge . Her corne stands not long for the sellers sake , and shee crosses the Proverbe , for shee measures it out by anothers Bushell . Shee receives her money of her Chapman , and has a kisse given her alwayes to boote . If shee have any thing to buy , the Mercers shops furnishes her , where shee remembers her mothers cōmission to a halfpennerth of sope , and at home makes her account of all . If her father thrive on his farme , the poore neighbours put the mastership upon him , and if shee learne ●o play on Virginalls , 't is thought a Courtlike breeding . For her beauty 't is a durable one , and feares no wind , nor weather , which shewes 't is not behoulding to Art. Shee baytes not her eyes to attract Sutors , but for a husband trusts all to 〈◊〉 Providence ; and at last Cupid in compassion strikes some Farmers sonne in love with her , and then shee brewes and makes her owne Ale and Cakes for the wedding . 25. A Keeper . IS a fellow in greene , that 's led about by a dog in a lyne , and the burthen of his shoulder is a long staffe . He wanders the wilde woods to secure the Game , and is one that 's licensed to be a night walker . If he find any trespassers , halfe a peece puts out halfe his eyes , and a whole one makes him wholy blind . His lodge is a lone house , often fayn'd in historyes to give entertaynment to wandering strangers , and in the fictions of Duells & ravishments , who comes in still to rescue , but a Keeper ? His honest rudenesse makes him a protector of men and maydenheades , for he thinkes the sufferance of such an act would blast the trees and make the leaves looke wan . The horne that affrightes other men , is his best musicke : he knowes the changes of the chase , and when a noted Deere is hunted , he windes his fall , and weepes at it . All the woodnimphs court him , and when hee rushes from them , the bryers seeme to pull him backe againe . He understands no chamber whispring , but drownes the winds with hallowing , and is answered backe in the same Language . Hee knowes the ages of his Deere by casting their hornes , and thinkes a Cuckold most infortunate that his should sticke so close to him . He breakes up a wench as he does a stagge , and having tooke an essay of her , if he finde her fat in the flancke mar●yes her . His Children like the Indians are borne B●wmen , his hounds and they lappe and feede both out of a dish : he loves those that write in the prayse of hunting , and himselfe talkes whole volumes of it . Hee wishes all Noble men were Nimrods , mighty hunters ; for besides their liberality , the bounty o● beasts gives him the shoulder and the Humbles for his fee. Lastly , when he wanders to an Alehouse , he loves no signe but the Robbinhood , because hee was a Forrester : where we leave him , till at night he be forth comming . 26. A Gentlemans House in the Countrey . IS the prime house of some village , and carryes gentility in the front of it . The Tennants round about travell thither in Pilgrimage with their pigge and goose off●●ngs , and their duty increases with the neere expiring of their leases . The Servingm●n are like quarter wayters ; for while some give attendanee at home , the rest are disperst in the Ale-houses . Their master alowes them to make men drinke for his credit , while they sound forth his fame of hospitallity upon the Trumpe●s of blacke Iackes . They envye most their owne coate , for if a Gentleman bring halfe a dozen men with him , they 'le not suffer a man to come off alive , and that expr●sses their Masters welcome . At meales you shall have a scattered troup of dishes , led in by some blacke puddings , and in the Reare some demolish'd pastyes , which are not fallen yet to the Serving-men . Betweene meales there 's bread and Beere for all commers , and for a stranger a napkin , and colde , meate in the buttery may be obtained . All the Roomes smell of Doggs and Haukes , and the Halls beares armes , though it be but a muskit● and two Corsletts . The maides have their severall swee-thearts , which they get by befriending men in their severall offices : As the dayry mayde by a dish of Creame : The Chamber-mayd by her landrye ; and for this the Serving man do● them as good a turne . After which if she knot and prove , she obtaines of her Mistresse a poore Coppihold , and they both turne Tennants to the family ; and are called retayners . The Master of the house is ador'd as a Relique of gentilitye , and if his wife come by some home-match , he dares not let her see London or the Court , for feare she should make his woods pay for 't . Hee observes all times and seasons of the yeare , and his Christmas is the butlers Iubile . To conclude , his house is the seat of hospitality , the poore mans Court of justice , the Curats Sunday ordinary , and the onely exchequer of Charity , where the poore goe away relieved , and cry , God blesse the founder . FINIS .