The seuen deadly sinnes of London drawne in seuen seuerall coaches, through the seuen seuerall gates of the citie bringing the plague with them. Opus septem dierum. Tho: Dekker. Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632. 1606 Approx. 204 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 55 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A20082 STC 6522 ESTC S105270 99840999 99840999 5555 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A20082) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 5555) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 881:10) The seuen deadly sinnes of London drawne in seuen seuerall coaches, through the seuen seuerall gates of the citie bringing the plague with them. Opus septem dierum. Tho: Dekker. Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632. [14], 40, 31-37, [1] p. Printed by E[dward] A[llde and S. Stafford] for Nathaniel Butter, and are to be solde at his shop neere Saint Austens gate, At London : 1606. The title page is in four settings, all in red and black: (1) title has "deadlie sinns"; (2) with Good Shepherd device; (3) with device of a lion's head atop a shield; (4) with an ornament with female head and laurel leaves at top, dated 1598. There are some minor variations in imprints. "Allde app[arently]. pr[inted]. at least piA3,4 (dedic[ation]. and to Reader); Stafford pr[inted]. at least A-C (induction and beginning of text)"--STC. 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London (England) -- Social life and customs -- Early works to 1800. 2002-11 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2002-12 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-01 Judith Siefring Sampled and proofread 2003-01 Judith Siefring Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion THE Seuen deadly Sinnes of London : Drawne in seuen seuerall Coaches , Through the seuen seuerall Gates of the Citie Bringing the Plague with them . Opus septem Dierum . Tho : Dekker . At London Printed by E.A. for Nathaniel Butter , and are to bee sold at his shop neere Saint Austens gate . 1606. Reader , IT is as ordinarie a custome ( for vs that are Bookish ) to haue about with thee , after wee haue done with a Patron , as for Schollers ( in the noble Science ) to play at the woodden Rapier and Dagger at the ende of a Maisters prize . In doing which we know not vpon what Speeding points wee runne , for you ( that are Readers ) are the most despe●ate and fowlest players in the world , you will strike when a mans backe is toward you , and kill him ( if you ●ould for shame ) when he lies vnder your feete . You are able ( if you haue the tokens of deadly Ignorance , and Boldnes at one time vpon you ) to breede more infection on in Pauls Church-yard , then all the bodies that were buried there in the Plague-time , if they had beene left still aboue ground . You stand somtimes at a Stationers stal , looking scuruily ( like Mules champing vpon Thistles ) on the face of a new Booke bee it neuer so worthy : & goe ( as il fauouredly ) mewing away : But what get you by it ? The Booke-seller euer after when you passe by , pinnes on your backes the badge of fooles to make you be laught to scorne , or of sillie Carpers to make you be pitted : Comadus Gesner neuer writ of the nature of such strange beasts as you are : for where as we call you Lectores , Readers , you turne your selues into Lictores , Executioners , & tormenters . I wold not haue him that writes better than I , to Reade this , nor him that cannot doe so well , to Raile , or if hee cannot chuse but Raile , let him doe it to my face : otherwise ●me being absent ) it is done cowardly : for Leonem mortuum mordent etiam Catuli : Cats dare scratch Lions by the face when they lie dead , and none but Colliers will threaten a Lord Maior when they are farre enough from the Cittie . I haue laide no blockes in thy way : if thou findest Strawes , ( Vade , vale , ) caue ne titubes . The names of the Actors in this old Enterlude of Iniquitie . 1 Politike Bankeruptisme . 2 Lying . 3 Candle-light . 4 Sloth . 5 Apishnesse . 6 Shauing . 7 Crueltie . Seuen may easily play this , but not without a Diuell . The Induction to the Booke . I Finde it written in that Booke where no vntruthes can be read : in that Booke whose leaues shall out-last sheetes of brasse , and whose lynes leade to eternity : yea euen in that Booke that was pend by the best Author of the best wisedome , allowed by a Deity , licensed by the Omnipotent , and published ( in all Languages to all Nations ) by the greatest , truest , and onely Diuine , thus I find it written , that for Sinne , Angels were throwne out of heauen ; for Sinne , the first man that euer was made , was made an outcast : he was driuen ouf of his liuing that was left vnto him by his Creator : It was a goodlier liuing , than the Inheritance of Princes : he lost Paradice by it ( he lost his house of pleasure : ) hee lost Eden by it , a Garden , where Winter could neuer haue nipt him with cold , nor Summer haue scorcht him with heate . He had there all fruits growing to delight his taste , all flowers flourishing to allure his eye , all Birds singing to content his eare ; he had more than he could desire : yet because he desired more than was fit for him , he lost all . For Sinne , all those buildings which that great Worke-master of the world had in sixe dayes raysed , were swallowed at the first by waters , and shall at last be consumed in fire . How many families hath this Leuiathan deuoured ? how many Cities ? how many Kingdoms ? Let vs a while leaue Kingdomes , and enter into Citties . Sodom and Gomorrah were burnt to the ground with brinstone that dropt in flakes from heauen : a hot and dreadfull vengeance . Ierusalem hath not a stone left vpon another of her first glorious foundation : a heauy and fearefull downefall . Ierusalem , that was Gods owne dwelling house ; the Schoole where those Hebrew Lectures , which he himselfe read , were taught ; the very Nursery where the Prince of Heauen was brought vp ; that Ierusalem , whose Rulers were Princes , & whose Citizens were like the sonnes of Kings : whose Temples were paued with gold , and whose houses stood like rowes of tall Cedars ; that Ierusalem is now a dezert ; It is vnhallowed , and vnt● odden : no Monument is left to shew it was a Citty , but only the memoriall of the Iewes hard-hartednes , in making away their Sauiour : It is now a place for barbarous Turks , and poore despised Grecians ; it is rather now ( for the abominations committed in it ) no place at all . Let vs hoyst vp more Sayles , and lanch into other Seas , till wee come in ken of our owne Countrey . Antwerp ( the eldest daughter of Brabant ) hath falne in her pride , the Citties of rich Burgundy in theyr greatnes . Those seuenteene Dutch Virgins of Belgia , ( that had Kingdomes to theyr dowries , and were worthy to be courted by Nations ) are now no more Virgins : the Souldier hath deflowred them , and robd them of theyr Mayden honor : Warre hath still vse of their noble bodyes , and discouereth theyr nakednes like prostituted Strumpets . Famine hath dryed vp the fresh bloud in theyr cheekes , whilst the Pestilence digd vp theyr Fields , and turned them into Graues . Neither haue these punishments bin layd vpon them onely ; for bloud hath bin also drawne of their very next neighbours . France lyes yet panting vnder the blowes which her owne Children haue giuen her . Thirty yeeres together suffred she her bowels to be torne out by those that were bred within them : She was full of Princes , and saw them all lye mangled at her feete : She was full of people , and saw in one night a hundred thousand massacred in her streetes : her Kings were eaten vp by Ciuill warres , and her Subiects by fire and famine . O gallant Monarchy , what hard fate hadst thou , that when none were left to conquer thee , thou shouldst triumph ouer thy selfe ! Thou hast Wynes flowing in thy veynes : but thou madest thy selfe druncke with thine owne bloud . The English , the Dutch , and the Spanish , stoode aloofe and gaue ayme , whilst thou shotst arrowes vpright , that fell vpon thine owne head , and wounded thee to death . Wouldst thou ( and the rest ) know the reason , why your bones haue bin bruzed with rods of Iron ? It was , because you haue risen in Arch-rebellion against the Supremest Soueraigne : You haue bin Traytors to your Lord , the King of heauen and earth , and haue armed your selues to fight against the Holy Land. Can the father of the world measure out his loue so vnequally , that one people ( like to a mans yongest child ) should be more made of than all the rest , being more vnruly than the rest ? O London , thou art great in glory , and enuied for thy greatnes : thy Towers , thy Temples , and thy Pinnacles stand vpon thy head like borders of fine gold , thy waters like frindges of siluer hang at the hemmes of thy garments . Thou art the goodliest of thy neighbors , but the prowdest ; the welthiest , but the most wanton . Thou hast all things in thee to make thee fairest , and all things in thee to make thee foulest : for thou art attir'de like a Bride , drawing all that looke vpon thee , to be in loue with thee , but there is much harlot in thine eyes . Thou sitst in thy Gates heated with Wines , and in thy Chambers with lust . What miseries haue of late ouertaken thee ? yet ( like a foole that laughs when hee is putting on fetters ) thou hast bin merry in height of thy misfortunes . She ( that for almost halfe a hundred of yeeres ) of thy Nurse became thy Mother , and layd thee in her bosome , whose head was full of cares for thee , whilst thine slept vpon softer pillowes than downe . She that wore thee alwayes on her brest as the richest Iewell in her kingdome , who had continually her eye vpon thee , and her heart with thee : whose chaste hand clothed thy Rulers in Scarlet , and thy Inhabitants in roabes of peace : euen she was taken from thee , when thou wert most in feare to lose her : when thou didst tremble ( as at an earth-quake ) to thinke that bloud should runne in thy Channels , that the Canon should make away through thy Portcullises , and fire rifle thy wealthy houses , then , euen then wert thou left full of teares , and becamst an Orphan . But behold , thou hadst not sat many howres on the banks of sorrow , but thou hadst a louing Father that adopted thee to be his owne : thy mourning turnd presently to gladnes , thy terrors into triumphs . Yet , lest this fulnesse of ioy should beget in thee a wantonnes , and to try how wisely thou couldst take vp affliction , Sicknes was sent to breathe her vnholsome ayres into thy nosthrils , so that thou , that wert before the only Gallant and Minion of the world , hadst in a short time more diseases ( then a common Harlot hath ) hanging vpon thee ; thou suddenly becamst the by-talke of neighbors , the scorne and contempt of Nations . Heere could I make thee weepe thy selfe away into waters , by calling back those sad and dismall houres , wherein thou consumedst almost to nothing with shrikes and lamentations , in that * Wonderfull yeere , when these miserable calamities entred in at thy Gates , slaying 30000. and more as thou heldst them in thine armes , but they are fresh in thy memory , and the story of them ( but halfe read ouer ) would strike so coldly to thy heart , and lay such heauy sorrow vpon mine ( Namque animus meminisse horret , luctuque refugit ) that I will not be thine and my owne tormentor with the memory of them . How quickly notwithstanding didst thou forget that beating ? The wrath of him that smot thee , was no sooner ( in meere pitty of thy stripes ) appeased , but howrely ( againe ) thou wert in the company of euill doers , euen before thou couldst finde leysure to aske him forgiuenes . Euer since that time hath hee winckt at thy errors , and suffred thee ( though now thou art growne old , and lookest very ancient ) to goe on still in the follyes of thy youth : he hath ten-fold restor'de thy lost sonnes and daughters , and such sweete , liuely , fresh colours hath hee put vpon thy cheekes , that Kings haue come to behold thee , and Princes to delight their eyes with thy bewty . None of all these fauours ( for all this ) can draw thee from thy wickednes : Graces haue powrd downe out of heauen vpon thee , and thou art rich in all things , sauing in goodnes : So that now once againe hath he gone about ( and but gone about ) to call thee to the dreadfull Barre of his Iudgement . And no maruaile : for whereas other Citties ( as glorious as thy selfe , ) and other people ( as deare vnto him as thine ) haue in his indignation bin quite taken from the face of the earth , for some one peculiar Sinne , what hope hast thou to grow vp still in the pride of thy strength , gallantnes and health , hauing seuen deadly and detestable sinnes lying night by night by thy lasciuious sides ? O thou beawtifullest daughter of two vnited Monarchies ! from thy womb receiued I my being , frō thy brests my nourishment ; yet giue me leaue to tell thee , that thou hast seuen Diuels within thee , and till they be cleane cast out , the Arrowes of Pestilence will fall vpon thee by day , and the hand of the Inuader strike thee by night . The Sunne will shine , but not be a comfort to thee , and the Moone looke pale with anger , whē she giues thee light . Thy Louers will disdayne to court thee : thy Temples will no more send out Diuine oracles : Iustice will take her flight , and dwell else-where ; and that Desolation , which now for three yeeres together hath houered round about thee , will at last enter , and turne thy Gardens of pleasure , into Church-yards ; thy Fields that seru'd thee for walks , into Golgotha ; and thy hye built houses , into heapes of dead mens Sculs . I call him to witnes , who is all Truth , I call the Cittizens of heauen to witnes , who are all spotlesse , that I slander thee not , in saying thou nourishest seuen Serpents at thy brests , that will destroy thee : let all thy Magistrates and thy officers speake for me : let Strangers that haue but seene thy behauiour , be my Iudges : let all that are gathered vnder thy wings , and those that sleepe in thy bosome , giue their verdict vpon me ; yea , try me ( as thy brabblings are ) by all thy Petit and Graund Iurors , and if I belye thee , let my Country ( when I expire ) deny me her common blessing , Buriall , Lift vp therefore thy head ( thou Mother of so many people : ) awaken out of thy dead and dangerous slumbers , and with a full and fearelesse eye behold those seuen Monsters , that with extended iawes gape to swallow vp thy memory : for I will into so large a field single euery one of them , that thou and all the world shall see their vglinesse , for by seeing them , thou mayst auoyd them , and by auoyding them , be the happiest and most renowned of Citties . Politick Bankruptisme , Or , The first dayes Triumph of the first Sinne. IT is a custome in all Countries , when great personages are to be entertained , to haue great preparation made for them : and because London disdaines to come short of any City , either in Magnificence , State , or expences vpon such an occasion , solemne order was set downe , and seuen seuerall solemne dayes were appointed to receiue these seuen Potentates : for they carry the names of Princes on the earth , and wheresoe're they inhabit , in a short time are they Lords of great Dominions . The first dayes Triumphs were spent in méeting and conducting Politick Bankruptisme into the Fréedome : to receiue whom , the Master , the Kéepers , and all the Prisoners of Ludgate in their best clothes stood most officiously readie : for at that Gate , his Deadlinesse challenges a kind of prerogatiue by the Custome of the Citie , and there loues he most to be let in . The thing they stood vpon , was a Scaffold erected for the purpose , stuck round about with a few gréene boughes ( like an Alehouse booth at a Fayre ) and couered with two or thrée thréed-bare Carpets ( for prisoners haue no better ) to hide the vnhandsomnes of the Carpenters worke : the boughes with the very strong breath that was prest out of the vulgar , withered , & like Autumnian leaues dropt to the ground , which made the Broken Gentleman to hasten his progresse the more , and the rather , because Lud and his two sonnes stood in a very cold place , waiting for his comming . Being vnder the gate , there stood one arm'd with an extemporall speech , to giue him the onset of his welcome : It was not ( I would you should well know ) the Clarke of a country parish , or the Schoolemaster of a corporate towne , the euery yéere has a saying to Master Maior , but it was a bird pickt out of purpose ( amongst the Ludgathians ) that had the basest and lowdest voice , and was able in a Terme time , for a throat , to giue any prisoner great ods for the bor at the grate : this Organ-pipe was ●unde to rore for the rest , who with a hye sound & glib deliuery , made an Encomiastick Paradoxicall Oration in praise of a prison , prouing , that captiuity was the only blessing that could happen ●o man , and that a Politick Bankrupt ( because he makes himselfe for euer by his owne wit ) is able to liue in any common wealth , and deserues to go vp the ladder of promotion , whē fiue hundred shallowp●ted feollwes shall be turnd off . The poore Orator hauing made vp his mouth , Bankruptisme gaue him very good words , & a handful or two of thanks , vowing he would euer liue in his debt . At which , all the prisoners rending the ayre with shouts , the key was turnd , & vp ( in state ) was he led into king Luds house of Bondage , to suruey the building , and to take possession of the lodgings ; where he no sooner en●red , but a ●usty peale of welcomes was shot out of Kannes in stead of Canons , and though the powder was excéeding wet , yet off they went thick and thréefold . The day was proclaymed Holiday in all the wardes ; euery prisoner swore if he would stay amongst them , they would take no order about their debts , because they would lye by it too ; and for that purpose swa●md about him like Bées about Comfit-makers , and were drunke , according to all the learned rules of Drunkennes , as Vpsy-Freeze , Cra●bo , Parmizant , &c. the pimples of this ranck and full-humord ioy rising thus in their faces , because they all knew , that though he himselfe was broken , the linings of his bags were whole ; & though he had no conscience ( but a crackt one ) yet he had crownes that were ●ound . None of all these ●ookes could fasten him to them : he was ( like their clocks ) to strike in more places than one , & though he knew many Citizens hated him , and that if he were encountred by some of them , it might cost him déere , yet vnder so good a protection did he go ( as he said ) because he owed no ill will euen to those that most sought his vndoing ; and therefore tooke his leaue of the house , with promise , to be with them , or send to thē once euery quarter at the least . So that now , by his wise instructions , if a Puny were there amongst them , he might learne more cases , and more quiddits in law within seuen dayes , that he does at his Inne in fourtéene moneths . The Politician béeing thus got into the City , caries himself to discreetly , that he steales into the hearts of many : In words , is he circumspect : in lookes , graue : in attire , ciuill : in diet , temperate : in company affable ; in his affaires serious : and so cunningly dooes he lay on these colours , that in the end he is welcome to , and familiar with the best . So that now , there is not any one of all the twelue Companies , in which ( at one time or other ) there are not those that haue forsaken their owne Hall , to be frée of his : yea some of your best Shop-kéepers hath he entited to shut themselues vp from the cares and busines of the world , to liue a priuate life ; nay , there is not any great and famous Streete in the City , wherein there hath not ( or now doth not ) dwell , some one , or other , that hold the points of his Religion . For you must vnderstand , that the Politick Bankrupt is a Harpy that lookes smoothly , a Hyena that enchants subtilly , a Mermaid that sings swéetly , and a Cameleon , that can put himselfe into all colours . Sometimes hée 's a Puritane , he sweares by nothing but Indéede , or rather does not sweare at al● , and wrapping his crafty Serpents body in the cloake of Religion , he does those acts that would become none but a Diuell . Sometimes hee 's a Protestant , and deales iustly with all men , till he sée his time , but in the end he turnes Turke . Because you shall beléeue me , I will giue you his length by the Scale , and Anatomize his body from head to foote . Héere it is . Whether he be a Tradesman , or a Marchant , when he first sets himselfe vp , and séekes to get the world into his hands , ( yet not to go out of the City ) or first talks of Countries he neuer saw ( vpon the Change ) he will be sure to kéepe his dayes of payments more truly , then Lawyers kéepe their Termes , or than Executors kéepe the last lawes that the dead inioyned them to , which euen Infidels themselues will not violate : his hand goes to his head , to his meanest customer , ( to expresse his humilitie ; ) he is vp earlier then a Sarieant , and downe later then a Constable , to proclaime his thrift . By such artificiall whéeles as these , he winds himselfe vp into the height of rich mens fauors , till he grow rich himselfe , and when he sées that they dare build vpon his credit , knowing the ground to be good , he takes vpon him the condition of an Asse , to any man that will loade him with gold ; and vseth his credit like a Ship freighted with all sorts of Merchandize by ventrous Pilots : for after he hath gotten into his hands so much of other mens goods or money , as will fill him to the vpper deck , away he sayles with it , and politickly runnes himselfe on ground , to make the world beléeue he had sufferd shipwrack . Then flyes he out like an Irish rebell , and kéepes aloofe , hiding his head , when he cannot hide his shame : and though he haue fethers on his back puld frō sundry birds , yet to himselfe is he more wretched , then the Cuckoo in winter , that dares not be séene . The troupes of honest Citizens ( his creditors ) with whom he hath broken league and hath thus defyed , muster themselues together , and proclaime open warre : their bands consist of tall Yeomen , that serue on foot , cōmanded by certaine Sarieants of their bands , who for leading of men , are knowne to be of more experiēce th●n the best Low-countrey Captaines . In Ambuscado do these lye day & night , to cut off this enemy to the City , if he dare but come downe . But the politick Bankrupt barricadoing his Sconce with double locks , treble dores , inuincible bolts , and pieces of ●imber 4. or 5. storyes hye , victuals himselfe for a moneth or so ; and then in the dead of night , marches vp higher into the country with bag and baggage : parlies then are summond ; compositions off●ed ; a truce is sometimes taken for 3. or 4. yéeres ; or ( which is more common ) a dishonorable peace ( séeing no other remedy ) is on both sides concluded , he ( like the States ) being the only gayner by such ciuill warres , whilst the Citizen that is the lender , is the loser : Nam crimine ab vno disce omnes , looke how much he snatches from one mans ●hea●e , hée gleanes from euery one , if they bée a hundred . The victory being thus gotten by basenes & trechery , back comes he marching with spred colours againe to the City ; aduances in the open stréete as he did before ; se●s the goods of his neighbor before his face without blushing : he iets vp and downe in silks wouen out of other mens stocke , féeds deliciously vpō other mēs purses , rides on his ten pound Geldings , in other mens saddles , & is now a new man made out of wax , that 's to say , out of those bonds , whose seales he most dishonestly hath canceld . O veluet-garded Theeues ! O yea-and-by-nay Cheaters ! O ciuill , ô Graue and Right Worshipfull Couzeners ! What a wretchednes is it , by such steps to clime to a counterfetted happines ? So to be made for euer , is to be vtterly vndone for euer : So for a man to saue himselfe , is to venture his own damnation ; like those that laboring by all meanes to escape shipwrack , do afterwards desperatly ●rown themselues . But alas ! how rotten at the bottom are buildings thus raised ! How soone do such leases grow out of date ! The Third House to them is neuer heard of . What slaues then doth mony ( so pur●hast ) make of those , who by such wayes thinke to find out perfect fréedome ? But they are most truly miserable in midst of their ioyes : for their neighbors scorne them , Strangers poynt at them , good men neglect them , the rich man will no more trust them , the begger in his rage vpbrayde● them . Yet if this were all , this all were nothing . O thou that on thy pillow ( lyke a Spider in his ●oome ) weauest mischeuous nets , beating thy braynes , how by casting downe others , to rayse vp thy selfe ! Thou Politick Bankrupt , poore rich man , thou ill-painted foole , when thou art to lye in thy last Inne ( thy loathsome graue ) how heauy a loade will thy wealth bée to thy weake corrupted Conscience ! those heapes of Siluer , in telling of which thou hast worne out thy fingers ends , will be a passing bell , ●olling in thine ●are , and calling thée to a fearefull Audit. Thou canst not dispose of thy riches , but the naming of euery parcell will strike to thy heart , worse then the pangs of thy departure : thy last will , at the last day , will be an Inditement to cast thée ; for thou art guilty of offending those two lawes ( enacted in the vpper House of heauen ) which directly forbid thee to steale , or to couet thy neighbors goods . But this is not all neither : for thou lyest on thy bed of death , and art not carde for : thou goest out of the world , and art not lamented : thou art put into the last linnen y● euer thou shalt weare , ( thy winding-shéete ) with reproch , and art sent into thy Graue with curses : he that makes thy Funerall Sermon , dares not speake well of thée , because he is asham'd to belye the dead : and vpon so hate full a fyle doest thou hang the records of thy life , that euen when the wormes haue pickt thée to the bare bones , those that goe ouer thee , will set vpon thée no Epitaph but this , Here lyes a knaue . Alack ! this is not the worst neither : thy Wife being in the heate of her youth , in the pride of her beawty , and in all the brauery of a rich London Widow , flyes from her nest ( where she was thus fledg'd before her time ) the City , to shake off the imputation of a Bankrupts Wife , and perhaps marries with some Gallāt : thy bags then are emptied , to hold him vp in riots : those hundreds , which thou subtilly tookst vp vpon thy bonds , do sinfully serue him to pay Tauerne bills , and what by knauery thou got●t ●rom honest men , is as villanously spent vpon Pandars and Whores : thy Widow being thus brought to a low ebbe , grows desperat : curses her birth , her life , her fortunes , yea perhaps curses thée , when thou art in thy euerlasting sléepe , her conscience perswading strongly , that she is punished from aboue , for thy faults : and being poore , friendlesse , comfortlesse , she findes no meanes to raise her selfe , but by Falling , and therfore growes to be a common womā . Doth not the thought of this torment thée ? She liues basely by the abuse of that body , to maintaine which in costly garments , thou didst wrong to thine owne soule : nay more to afflict thée , thy children are ready to beg their bread in that very place , where the father hath sat at his dore in purple , and at his boord like Diues , surfeting on those dishes which were earnd by the sweat of other mens browes . The infortunate Marchant , whose estate is swallowed vp by the mercilesse Seas , and the prouident Trades-man , whom riotous Seruants at home , or hard-hearted debters abroad vndermine and euerthrow , blotting them with the name of Bankrupts , deserue to be pitied and relieued , when thou that hast cozend euen thine owne Brother of his Birth-right , art laught at , and not remembred , but in scorne , when thou art plagued in thy Generation . Be wise therefore , you Graue , and wealthy Cittizens ; play with these Whales of the Sea , till you escape them that are deuourers of your Merchants ; hunt these English Wolues to death , and rid the land of them : for these are the Rats that eate vp the prouision of the people : these are the Grashoppers of Egypt , that spoyle the Corne-fields of the Husband-man and the rich mans Uineyards : they will haue poore Naboths piece of ground from him , though they eate a piece of his heart for it . These are indéede ( and none but these ) the Forreners that liue without the fréedome of your City , better than you within it ; they liue without the freedome of honestly , of conscience , and of christianitie . Ten dicing-houses cheate not yong Gentlemen of so much mony in a years , as these do you in a moneth . The théefe that dyes at Tyburne for a robbery , is not halfe so dangerous a wéede in a Common-wealth , as the Politick Bankrupt , I would there were a Derick to hang vp him too . The Russians haue an excellent custome : they beate them on the shinnes , that haue mony , and will not pay their debts ; if that law were w●ll cudgeld from thence into England , Barbar-Surgeons might in a few yéeres build vp a Hall for their Company , larger then Powles , only with the cure of Bankrupt broken-shinnes . I would faine sée a prize set vp , that the welfed Usurer , and the politick Bankrupt might rayle one against another for it : ô , it would heget a riming Comedy . The Challenge of the Germayne against all the Masters of the Noble Science , would not bring in a quarter of the money : for there is not halfe so much loue betweene the Iron and the Loadestone , as there is mortall hate betwéene those two Furies . The Usurer liues by the lechery of mony , and is Bawd to his owne bags , taking a fée , that they may ingender . The Politick Bankrupt liues by the gelding of bags of Siluer . The Usurer puts out a hundred poūd to bréede , and lets it run in a good pasture ( that 's to say , in the lands that are mortgag'd for it ) till it grow great with Foale , and bring forth ten pound more . But the Politick Bankrupt playes the Alchimist , and hauing taken a hundred pound to multiply it , he kéepes a puffing and a blowing , as if he would fetch the Philosophers stone out of it , yet melts your hundred pound so l●ng in his Crusibles , till at length to either melt it cleane away , or ( at the least ) makes him that lends it thinke good , if euery hundred bring him home ●iue , with Principall and Interest . You may behold now in this Perspectiue piece which I haue drawne before you , how deadly and dangerous an enemy to the State this Politick Bankrupusme hath bin , & still is : It hath bin long enough in the Citty , and for anything I sée , makes no great haste to get out . His triumphs haue bin great , his entertainement rich and magnificent . He purposes to lye héere as Lucifers Legiar : let him therefore alone in his lodging ( in what part of the Citty soeuer it be ) tossed and turmoyled with godlesse slumbers , and let vs take vp a standing néere some other Gate , to behold the Entrance of the Second Sinne : but before you go , looke vpō the Chariot that this First is drawne in , and take speciall note of all his Attendants . The habit , the qualities and complexion of this Embassador sent from Hell , are set downe before . He rides in a Chariot drawne vpon three whéeles , that run fastest away , when they beare the greatest loades . The bewty of the Chariot is all in-layd work , cunningly & artificially wrought , but yet so strangely , and of so many seuerall-fashiond pieces , ( none like another ) that a sound wit would mis●rust they had bin stolne from sundry worke-men . By this prowd Counterfet ran two Pages ; on the left side Conscience , raggedly attirde , ill-fac'd , ill-coloured , and misshapen in body . On the right side runs Beggery , who if he out-liue him , goes to serue his children . Hipocrisy driues the Chariot , hauing a couple of fat well-coloured and lusty Coach-horses to the eye , cald Couetousnes and Cosenage , but full of diseases , & rotten about the heart . Behind him follow a crowd of Trades-men , and Merchants , euery one of them holding either a Shop-booke , or an Obligation in his hand , their seruants , wiues and children strawing the way before him with curses , but he carelesly runnes ouer the one , and out-rides the other ; at the tayle of whom ( like the Pioners of an Army ) march troopewise , and without any Drum struck vp , because the Leader can abide no noyse , a company of old expert Sarieants , bold Yeomen , hungry Baylifs , and other braue Martiall men , who because ( like the Switzers ) they are well payd , are still in Action , and oftentimes haue the enemy in execution ; following the héeles of this Citty-Conqueror , so close , not for any loue they owe him , but only ( as all those that follow great men do ) to get mony by him . We will leaue them lying in Ambush , or holding their Courts of Gard , and take a muster of our next Regiment . The seuen deadly 2. Lying . Or , The second dayes Triumph . WHen it came to the eares of the Sinfull Synagogue , how the rich Iew of London , ( Barabbas Bankruptisme ) their brother , was receyued into the Citty , and what a lus●y Reueler he was become , the rest of the same Progeny ( being 6. in number ) vowd to ryde thither in their greatest State , and that euery one should challenge to himselfe ( if be could enter ) a seuerall day of Tryumph ; for so he might doe by their owne Customes . Another therefore of the Broode , being presently aptly accon●●red , and armed Cap-a-pe , with all furniture fit for such an Inuader , sets forward the very next morning , and arriu'de at one of the Gates , before any Porters eyes were vnglewd . To knocke , hee thought it no policy , because such fellowes are commonly most churlish , when they are most intreated , and are key-cold in their comming downe to Strangers , except they be brybed : to stay there with such ● confusion of faces round about him , till light should betray him , might call his Arriuall , being strange and hidden , into question ; besides , he durst not send any Spy he had , to listen what newes went amongst the people , and whether any preparation were made for him , or that they did expect his approche , because indéede there was not any one of the Damned Crewe that followed his tayle , whom he durst trust for a true word . He resolues therefore to make his entrance , not by the sword , but by some sleyght , what storme or fayre weather soeuer should happen : And for that purpose , taking asunder his Charriot , ( for it stood altogether like a Germane clock , or an English , Iack or Turne-spit , vpon skrewes and vices ) he scatters his Troope vpon the fields and hye-way , into small companies , as if they had bene Irish beggers ; till at last espying certayne Colliers with Carts most sinfully loaden , for the Citty , and behind them certayne light Country Horse-women ryding to the Markets , hée mingled his Footemen carelesly , amongst these , and by this Stratagem of Coales , brauely thorow Moore-gate , got within the walles ; where marching not like a plodding Grasyer with his Droues before him , but like a Citty-Captayne , with a Company ( as pert as Taylours at a wedding ) close at his héeles , because nowe they knewe they were out of feare ) hée musters together all the Hackneymen and Horse-courses in and about Colman-streete . No sooner had these Sonnes and Heyres vnto Horse-shooes , got him into their eyes , but they wept for ioy to behold him ; yet in the ende , putting vp their teares into bottles of Hay , which they held vnder their armes , and wyping their slubberd chéekes with wispes of cleane Strawe , ( prouyded for the nonce ) they harnessed the Grand Signiors Caroach , mounted his Cauallery vpon Curtals , and so sent him most pompously ( like a new elected Dutch Burgomaster ) into the Citty . He was lookt vpon strangely by all whom he met , for at the first , few or none knew him , few followed him , few bid him welcome : But after hée had spent héere a very little péece of time , after it was voyc'd that Monsieur Mendax came to dwell amongst them , and had brought with him all sorts of politick falshood and lying , what a number of Men , Women and Children fell presently in loue with him ! There was of euery Trade in the City , and of euery profession some , that instantly were dealers with him : For you must note , that in a State so multitudinous , where so many flocks of people must be fed , it is impossible to haue some Trades to stand , if they should not Lye. How quickly after the Art of Lying was once publiquely profest , were false Weights and false Measures inuented ! and they haue since done as much hurt to the inhabitants of Cities , as the inuention of Gunnes hath done to their walles : for though a Lye haue but short legs ( like a Dwarfes ) yet it goes farre in a little time , Et crescit eundo , and at last prooues a tall fellow : the reason is , that Truth had euer but one Father , but Lyes are a thousand mens Bastards , and are begotten euery where . Looke vp then ( Thou thy Countryes Darling , ) and behold what a diuelish Inmate thou hast intertained . The Genealogy of Truth is well knowne , for she was borne in Heauen , and dwels in Heauen : Falshood then and Lying must of necessity come out of that hot Country of Hell , from the line of Diuels : for those two are as opposite , as day and darkenes . What an vngracious Generation wilt thou mingle with thine , if thou draw not this from thée : What a number of vnhappy and cursed childrē will be left vpō thy hand ? for Lying is Father to Falshood , and Grandsire to Periury : Frawd ( with two faces ) is his Daughter , a very Monster : Treason ( with haires like Snakes ) is his kinseman ; a very Fury ! how art thou inclos'd with danger ? The Lye first deceiues thée , and to shoote the deceit off cleanly , an oath ( like an Arrow ) is drawne to the head , and that hits the marke . If a Lye , after it is molded , be not smooth enough , there is no instrumēt to burnish it , but an oath : Swearing giues it cullor , & a bright complexion . So that Oathes are Crutches , vpon which Lyes ( like lame soldiers ) go , & néede no other pasport . Little oathes are able to beare vp great lyes : but great Lyes are able to beate downe great Families : For oathes are wounds that a man stabs into himselfe , yea , they are burning words that consume those who kindle them . What fooles then are thy Buyers and Sellers to be abused by such hell-hounds ? Swearing and Forswearing put into their hands perhaps the gaines of a little Siluer , but like those pieces which Iudas receiued , they are their destruction . Welth so gotten , is like a trée set in the depth of winter , it prospers not . But is it possible ( Thou leader of so great a Kingdome ) that heretofore so many bonfires of mens bodies should be made before thée in the good quarrell of Trueth ? and that now thou shouldst take part wish her enemy ? Haue so many Triple-pointed darts of Treason bin shot at the heads of thy Princes , because they would not take Truth out of thy Temples , and art thou now in League with false Witches the would kill thée ? Thou art no Traueler , the habit of Lying therefore will not become thée , cast it off . He that giues a soldier the Lye , lookes to receiue the stab : but what danger does he run vpon , that giues a whole City the Lye ? yet must I venture to giue it thée . Let me tell thée then , that Thou doest Lye with Pride , and though thou art not so gawdy , yet are thou more costly in attiring thy selfe than the Court , because Pride is the Queene of Sinnes , thou hast chosen her to be thy Concubine , and hast begotten many base Sonnes and Daughters vpon her body , as Vainglory , Curiosity , Disobedience , Opinion , Disdaine , &c. Pride , by thy Lying with her , is growne impudent : She is now a common Harlot , and euery one hath vse of her body . The Taylor calls her his Lemman , he hath often got her great with child of Phantasticallity and Fashions , who no sooner came into the world , but the fairest Wiues of thy Tennants snatcht them vp into their armes , layd them in their laps and to their brests , and after they had plaid with them their pleasure , into the country were those two children ( of the Taylors ) sent to be nurst vp , so that they liue sometimes there , but euer and anon with thée . Thou doest likewise Lye with Vsury : how often hast thou bin found in bed with her ! How often hath she bin openly disgraced at the Crosse for a Strumpet ! yet still doest thou kéepe her company , and art not ashamed of it , because you commit Sinne together , euen in those houses that haue paynted posts standing at the Gates . What vngodly brats and kindred hath she brought thée ? for vpon Vsury hast thou begotten Extortion , ( a strong , but an vnmannerly child , ) Hardnes of heart , a very murderer , and Bad Conscience , who is so vnruly , that he séemes to be sent vnto thée , to be thy euerlasting paine . Then hath she Sonnes in law , and they are all Scriueners : those Scriueners haue base sonnes , and they are all common Brokers ; those Brokers likewise send a number into the world , & they are all Common Theeues . All of these may easily giue Armes : for they fetch their discent from hell , where are as many Gentlemen , as in any one place , in any kingdome . Thou doost lye with sundrie others , and committest strange whoredomes , which by vse and boldnesse growe so common , that they seeme to be no whoredomes at all , Yet thine owne abhominations would not appeare so vilely , but that thou makest thy buildings a Brothelry to others : for thou sufferest Religion to lye with Hipocrisie : Charity to lye with Ostentation : Friendship to lye with Hollow-heartednes : the Churle to lye with Simony : Iustice to lye with Bribery , and last of all , Conscience to lye with euerie one . So that now shee is full of diseases : But thou knowest the medicine for al these Feauers that shake thée : be therfore to thy selfe thine owne Phisitian , and by strong Pilles purge away this second infection that is breeding vpon thee , before it strike to the heart . Falshood and Lying thus haue had their day , and like Almanackes of the last yeare , are now gon out : let vs follow them a step or two farther to see how they ride , and then ( if we can ) leaue them , for I perceiue it growes late , because Candle-light ( who is next to enter vpō the stage ) is making himself ready to act his Comicall Scenes . The Chariot then that Lying is drawne in , is made al of whetstones ; Wantonnes and euil custome are his Horses : a Foole is the Coachman that driues them : a couple of swearing Fencers sometimes leade the Horses by the reynes , and sometimes flourish before them to make roome . Worshipfully is this Lord of Limbo attended , for Knights thīselues follow close at his heeles ; Mary they are not Post and Poyre-Knightes but one of the Post. Amongst whose traine is shuffled in a company of scambling ignorant Petti-foggars , leane Knaues and hungrie , for they liue vpon nothing but the scraps of the Law , and heere and there ( like a Prune in White-broth , is stucke a spruice but a meer● prating vnpractised Lawyer● Clarke all in blacke . At the tayle of all ( when this goodly Pageant is passed by ) ollow a crowde of euerie trade some , amongst whome least we be smothered , and bee taken to bee of the same list , let vs strike downe my way . Nam● 〈◊〉 Vulgus . ● . Candle-light . OR , The Nocturnall Tryumph . O Candle-light : and art thou one of the Cursed Crew ? hast thou bin set at the Table of Princes , & Noble men ? haue all su●es of peop●e ●oone reuerence vnto thee and stood b●re 〈…〉 ●ey haue seene thee ? haue Theeues , Traytors , and Murderers been affraide to come in thy presence , because they knewe thee iust , and that thou wouldest discouer them ? And act thou now a harborer of all kindes of Vices ? nay , doost thou play the capitall Vice thy selfe ? Hast thou had so many learned Lectures read before thee , & is the light of thy Vnderstanding now cleane put out , and haue so many profound schollers profited by thee ? hast thou doone such good to Vniuersities , beene such a guide to the Lame , and seene the dooing of so many good workes , yet doest thou now looke dimly , and with a dull eye vpon al Goodnes ? What comfort haue sickmen taken ( in weary and irkesome nights ) but onely in thee ? thou hast been their Phisition and Apothecary , and when the rellish of nothing could please them , the very shadow of thee hath beene to them a restoritiue Consolation . The Nurse hath stilled her way ward Infant , shewing it but to thee : What gladnes hast thou put into Mariners bosomes , when thou hast met them on the Sea ? What Ioy into the faint and benighted Trauailer when he has met thee on the land ? How many poore Handy-craftes men by Thee haue earned the best part of their liuing ? And art thou now become a Companion for Drunkards , for ●eachers , and for prodigalles ? Art thou turnd Reprobate ? thou wilt burne for it in hell , And so odious is this thy Apostacy , and hiding thy self frō the light of the truth , the at thy death & going out of the world , euen they y● loue thée best , wil tread thee vnder their feete : yea I that haue thus plaid the Herrald , & proclaimd thy good parts , wil now play the Cryer and cal thee into open count , to arraigne thee for thy misdemeanors . Let the world therefore vnderstand , that this Tallowfacde Gentleman ( cald Candle-light ) so soone as euer the Sunne was gon out of sight , and that darkenes like a thief out of a hedge crept vpon the earth , sweate till hee dropt agen , with bustling to come into the Cittie . For hauing no more but one onely eye ) and that ster●er●● with drinking & sitting vp late ) he was ashamed to be seene by day , knowing he should be laught to scorne , and hoo●ed at . He makes his entrance therefore at Aldersgate of set purpose , for though the streete be faire and spatious , yet few lightes in mistie euenings , vsing there to thrust out their goldē heads he thought that the aptest circle for him to be raised in , because ●here his Glittering would make greatest show . What expectation was there of his cōming ? setting aside the 〈◊〉 , there is not more triumphing on Midsommer night . No sooner was he aduaunced vp into the moste famous Streetes , but a number of shops for ioy beganne to shut in : Mercers ●olde vp their silkes and Ueluets : the Goldsmithes drew backe their Plate , & all the Citty lookt like a priuate Play-house , when the windowes are clapt downe , as 〈◊〉 some Nocturnal , or dismall Tragedy were presently to be acted before all the Trades-men . But Caualiero Candle-light came for no such solemnitie : No he had other Crackers in hand to which hee watcht but his houre to giue fire ▪ Sc●rce was his entrance blown abroad , but the Banckrupt , the Fello● , and all that owed any mony , and for feare of arrests , or Iustices warrants , had like so many Snayles kept their houses ouer their heads al the day before , began now to creep out of their shel● , & so stalke vp & down the streets as vprightly , & with as proud a gate as if they meant to knock against the starres with the crownes of their heads . The damask coated Cittizen , that sat in his sh●p both fo●●noone and afternoone , and lookt more sowerly on his poore neighbore , th●n if he had drunke a quart of Uineger at a draught , sneakes out of his owne doores , and slips into a Tauerne , where either alone , or with some other that battles their money together , they so plye themselues with penny pots , which ( like small-shot ) goe off , powring into their fat paunches , that at length th●y haue not an eye to see withall , nor a good legge to stand vpon . In which pickle if anye of them happen to be iustled downe by a post ( that in spite of them will take the wall ) and so reeles them into the kennell , who takes them vp or leades them home ? who has them to bed , and with a pillow smothes this stealing so of good liquor , but that brazen-face Candle-light ? Nay more , hee intices their verie Prentices to make their desperate sallyes out , & quicke retyres in ( contrarie to the Oath of their Indentures ) which are seauen yeares a swearing , onely for their Pintes , and away . Tush , this is nothing : yong shopkeepers that haue but newly ventured vpon the pikes of marriage , who are euery houre shewing their wares to their Customers , plying their businesse harder all day then Vulcan does his Anuile , and seeme better husbands than Fidlers that scrape for a poore liuing both day and night , yet euen these if they can but get Candle-light , to sit vp all night with them in any house of Reckning ( that 's to say in a Tauerne ) they fall roundly to play the London prize , and that 's at three seuerall weapons , Drinking , Dauncing , & Dicing , Their wiues lying all that time in their beds sighing like widowes , which is lamentable : the giddie-braind husbāds wasting the portions they had with them , which lost once , they are ( like Maiden-heades ) neuer recouerable . Or which is worse , this going a Bat-fowling a nights , beeing noted by some wise yong-man or other , that knowes how to handle such cases , the hush is beaten for them at home , whilest they catch the bird abraode , but what bird is it ? the Woodcocke . Neuer did any Cittie pocket vp such wrong at the hands of one , ouer whom she is so iealous , and so tender , that in Winter nights if he be but missing , and hide himselfe in the darke , I know not how many Beadles are sent vp and downe the streetes to crie him : yet you see , there is more cause she should send out to curse him For what Uillanies are not abroad so long as Candle-light is stirring ? The Seruing-man dare then walke with his wench : the Priuate Puncke ( otherwise called one that boords in London ) who like a Pigeon sits billing all day within doores , and feares to steppe ouer the thresholde , does then walke the round till midnight , after she hath beene swaggering amongst pottle pots and Uintners boyes . Nay , the sober Perpetuana suited Puritane , that dares not ( so much as by Moone-light ) come neere the Suburb-shadow of a house , where they set stewed Prunes befor you , raps as boldly at the hatch , when he knowes Candle-light is within , as if he were a new chosen Constable . When al doores are lockt vp , when no eyes are open , when birds sit silent in bushes , and beasts lie sleeping vnder hedges , when no creature can be smelt to be vp but they that may be smelt euery night a streets length ere you come at them , euen then doth this Ignis fatuus ( Candle-light ) walke like a Fire-drake into sundrie corners . If you will not beleeue this , shoote but your eye through the Iron grates into the Cellers of Uintners , there you shall see him hold his necke in a Iin , made of a clift hoope-sticke , to throttle him from telling tales , whilest they most abhominably iumble together all the papisticall drinkes that are brought from beyond-sea : the poore wines are rackt and made to confesse anie thing : the Spanish & the French meeting both in the bottome of the Cellar , conspire together in their cups , to lay the Englishman ( if he euercome into their company ) vnder the boord . To be short , such strange mad musick doe they play vpon their Sacke-buttes , that if Candle-light beeing ouer come with the steeme of newe sweete Wines , when they are at worke , shoulde not tell them t is time to goe to bedde , they would make all the Hogges-heads that vse to come to the house , to dannce the Cannaries till they reeld againe . When the Grape-mongers and hee are parted , hee walkes vp and downe the streetes squiring olde Midwiues to anie house , ( ●e●e s●cretly ) where any Bastards ●re to be brought into the worlde . From them , ( about the houre when Spirits wal●e , and Cats goe a gossipping ) hee visits the W●tch where creeping into the Beadles Cothouse ( which handes betweene his legges , that are lapt rounde about with peeces of Rugge , as if he had newe strucke of Sh●ckles ) and seeing the Watch-men to nodde at him , hee 〈◊〉 himselfe presently , ( knowing the token ) vnder the slapp● 〈…〉 and teaches them ( by instinct ) howe to st 〈…〉 into their heades , because hee sees all their Cloakes cannot one good nappe vppon them and vppon his warrant snort they so lowde , that to those Night walkers ( whose wittes are vp so late ) it serues as a Watch-worde so keepe out of the teach of their ●rowne 〈◊〉 : by which meanes they neuer come to aunswere the matter b●●ore maister Constable , and the Benc● vppon which his men ( t●at shoulde watch ) doe sitte : In that the Coun●e●s are cheated of Prisoners , to the great ●amm●ge o● these that shoulde haue their mornings draught out of the Garnish . O Candle-light , Candle-light ! to howe manie costly Sacke-posse●s ▪ and rea●s Banquets hast thou beene musted by Prentices and 〈◊〉 - maiden● ? When the Bell-man for anger to spie ( such a Purloyner of Cittizens goods ) so many , hath bounced 〈◊〉 the doore like a madde man , At which ( as if Robin Good-fellow had beene coniur'd vp amongst them the We●ches haue , falne into the handes of the Greene-sicknesse , and the yong fellowes into colde Agues , with verie feare least their maister ( like olde Ieronimo and Isabella his wife after him ) starting out of his naked bed should came downe ( with a Weapon in his hande ) and this in his mouth : What outcryes pull vs from our naked bedde ? Who calles ? &c. as the Players can tell you . O Candle-light , howe hast thou stuncke then , when they haue popt thee out of their compayne : howe hast thou taken it in snuffe , when thou hast beene smelt out especially the maister of the house exclayming , that by day that deede of darknesse had not beene . One Uennie more with thee , and then I haue done . How many lips haue beene worne out with kissing at she street doore , or in that entry ( in a winking blind euening ? ) how many odde matches and vneuen mariages haue been made there betwéene young Prentises and there maisters daughters , whilest thou ( O Candle-light ) hast stood watching at the staires h●ade , that none could come stealing downe by thee , but they must bee seene ? It appeares by these articles put in agaynst thee , that thou art partly a Bawd to diuerse loose sinnes , and partly a Coozener : for if any in the Cittie haue badde wares lying deade vppon their handes , thou art better than Aqua vitae to fetch life into them , and to sende them packing . Thou shalt therefore bee taken out of thy proude Chariot , and bee carted : yet first will wee see what workmanship , and what stoffe it is made of , to the intent that if it bee not daungerous for a Cittie to keepe anie Relique belonging to such a crooked Saint , It may bee hung vp as a monument to shewe with what dishonour thou wert driuen out of so noble a lodging , to deface whose buildings thou hast béene so enuious , that when thou hast beene left alone by any thing that woulde take fire , thou hast burnt to the ground many of her goodlyest houses . Candle lights Ceath is made all of Hor●e , shauen as thin as Changel●●yes ate . It is drawne ( with ease ) by two Rats : the Coachman is a Chaundler who so s●ears wi●h yea●king them , that he drops tallowe , and t●at f●eors them as prouend●r : yet a●e the lashes that hee giues the squeaking Vermine more deadly to them then al the Rats-bane in Buckle●sb●rie . Painefulnesse and Studdy are his two Lac●ey●s and run by him : Darknesse , Conspiracy , Opportunitie , Stratagems and Feare , are his attend●nts : hee 's sued vnto by Diggars in Mines , Grauers , Schollers , Mariners , Nurses , Drunkards , Vnthriftes and shrote Husbands : hee destroyes that which feedes him , & therefore Ingratitude comes behinde all this , driuing them before her . The next Diuel that is to be commaunded vp , is a very lazie one , and will be long in rising : let vs therefore vnbinde this , and fall to other Charmes . 4. Sloth : OR The fourth dayes Tryumph . MAn ( doubtlesse ) was not created to bee an idle fellow , for then he should bee Gods Vagabond : he was made for other purpose then to be euer eating as swine : euer sleeping as Dormise : euer dumb as fishes in the Sea , or euer prating to no purpose , as Birdes of the ayre : he was not set in this Vniuersall Orchard to stand still as a Tree and so to bee cut downe , but to be cut downe if he should stand still . And to haue him remember this , he carries certaine Watches with Larums about him , that are euer striking : for all the Enginous Wheeles of the Soule are continually going : though the body lye neuer so fast bownde in Slumbers , the imagination runnes too and fro , the phantasie flyes round about , the vitall Spirits walke vp and downe , yea the very pulses shew actiuitie , and their hammers are still beating , so that euen in his very dreames it is whispered in his eare that hee must bee dooing something . If hee had not these prompters at his elbowe , yet euerie member of his body ( if it could speake would chide him ) if they were put to no vse , cōsidering what noble workmanship is bestowed vpon them . For man no sooner gets vpon his legges , but they are made so that either hee may run or goe : when he is weary , they can giue him ●ase by stāding still , if he will not stand , the Knees le●ue like Hindges to bow vp and downe , and to let him kneele His armes haue artificiall cordes and stringes , which shorten or flye ●ut to their length at pleasure : They winde about the bodye like a siluer Girdle , and being held out before , are weapōs to defend it : at the end of the armes , are two beautiful Mathematicall Instruments , with fiue seuerall motions in each of them , and thirtie other mouing Engines , by which they stirre both . His head likewise standes vppon three Skrewes , the one is directly forward to teach him Prouidence , the other two are on eather side one , to arme him with Circumspection : How busie are both the eyes , to keepe d●nger from him euerie way . But admit hée had none of these Wonderfull Volumes to reade ouer , yet hee sees the clowdes alwaies working : the waters euer labouring : the earth continuallye bringing foorth : he sees the Sunne haue a hye co●our with taking paines for the day . The Moone pale and sickly , with sitting vp for the night : the Stars mustring their armyes together to guard the Moone . ●ll of them , and all that is in the world , seruing as Schoolemaisters , & the world it selfe as an Academ to bring vp man in knowledge , and to put him still into action . How then dares this nastie , and loathsome sin of Sloth venture into a Ci●ie amongst so many people ? who doth he hope wil giue him entertainmēt ? what lodging ( thinks he ) can be tame vp , where he & his ●eauy-headed cōpany may take their afternoones nay soundly ? for in euery stréet , carts and Coaches make such a thundring as if the world ranne vpon wheeles : at euerie corner , men , women , and children meete in such shoales , that postes are sette vp of purpose to strengthen the houses , least with iustling one another they should shoulder them downe . Besides , hammers are beating in one place , Tube hooping in another , Pots clincking in a third , water-tankards running at tilt in a fourth : heere are Porters sweating vnder burdens , there Marchants-men bearing bags of money , Chapmen ( as if they were at Leape-frog ) skippe out of one shop into another : Tradesmen ( as if they were daūcing Galliards ( are iusly ) at Legges and neuer stand still : all are as busie as countrie Atturneyes at an Assises : how then can Idlenes thinke to inhabit heere ? Yet the Worshipfull Sir , ( that leades a Gentlemans life , and dooth nothing ) though he comes but slowly on ( as if hee trodde a French March ) yet hee comes and with a great trayne at his tayle , as if the countrie had brought vp some Fellon to one of our Gayles , So is hee connaide by nine or tenne drowsie Malt-men , that lye nodding ouer their Sackes , and euen a moste sléepie and still Triumph begins his entrance at Bishopsgate . An armie of substantiall Housholders ( moste of them liuing by the hardnesse of the hand ) came in Battaile array , with spred Banners , bearing the Armes of their seuerall occupations to meete this Cowardly Generall and to beate him backe . But hee sommoning a parlee , hammered out such a strong Oration in praise of Ease ▪ that they all strucke vp their Drums , flung vp their Round-Cappes , ( and as if it had beene another William the Conqueror came marching in with him ) and lodged him in the quietest streete in the Cittie , for so his Lazinesse requested . Hee then presently gaue licenses to all the Uintners , to keepe open house , and to emptye their Hogsheades to all commers , who did so , dying their grates into a drunkards blush ( to make them knowne from the Grates of a prison ) least customers should re●le away from them , and hanging out new bushes , that if men at their going out , could not sée the signe , yet they might not loose themselues in the bush . He likewise gaue order that dicing-houses , and bowling alleyes should be erected , wherupon a number of poore handy crafts-men , that before wrought night and day , made stocks to thēselues of ten groates , & crowns a peece , and what by Betting , Lurches , Rubbers and such tricks , they neuer tooke care for a good daies worke afterwards . For as Letchery is patron of al your Suburb Colledges , and sets vp Vaulting-houses , and Daunsing-Schooles : and as Drunkennesse when it least can stand , does best hold vp Alehouses , So Sloth is a founder of the Almes-houses first mentioned , & is a good Benefactor to these last . The Players prayed for his comming , they lost nothing by it , the comming in of tenne Embassadors was neuer so sweete to them , as this our sinne was : their houses smoakt euerye after noone with Stinkards , who were so glewed together in crowdes with the Steames of strong breath , that when they came foorth , their faces lookt as if they had beene perboylde : And this Comicall Tearme-time they hoped for , at the least all the summer , because t is giuen out that Sloth himselfe will come , and sit in the two-pennie galleries amongst the Gentlemen , and see their Knaueries and their pastimes . But alas ! if these were the sorest diseases ( Thou noblest City of the now-noblest Nation ) that Idlenes does infect thee with : thou hast Phisick sufficient in thy selfe , to purge thy bodie of them . No , no , hee is not slothfull , that is onelye lazie , that onelye wastes his good houres , and his Siluer in Luxury , & licentious ease , or that onely ( like a standing water ) does nothing , but gather corruption : no , hee is the true Slothfull man that does no good . And how many would crie Guilty vnto thee , if this were there Inditement ? Thy Maiestrate● ( that when they see thee most in danger ) put vp the swordes that Iustice hath guided , to their loynes , & flie into the conntrie , leauing thee destitute of their Counsell , they would crie guilty , they are slothfull . Thy Phisitions , that feari●g to die by that which they liue , ( sicknes ) doe most vnkindely leaue thee when y●●rt ready to lye vpon thy death bed , They are slothful , They would crie Guilty . Thy great men , and such as haue been thy Rulers ▪ that being taken out of poore Cradles , & nursed vp by thee , haue fild their Cofers with golde , and their names with honour , yet afterwards growing weary of thee , ( like Mules hauing suckt their dammes ) most ingratefully haue they stolne from thee , spending those blessings which were thine , vpon those that no way deserue them , Are not These Slothfull ? They would crie guiltye . There is yet one more , whome I would not heare to Cry Guilty , because ( of al● others ) I would not haue them slothfull . O you that speake the language of Angels , and should indeed be Angels amōgst vs , you that haue offices aboue those of Kinges , that haue warrāt to cōmaund Princes , & controle them , if they doe amisse : you that are Stewards ouer the Kings house of heauen , and lye heere as Embassadors about the greatest State-matters in the world : what a dishonour were it to your places , if it should bee knowne that you are Sloathfull ? you are sworne labourers , to worke in a Uineyard , which if you dresse not carefully , if you cut it not artificially , if you vnderprop it not wisely whē you see it laden , if you gather not the fruites in it , when they bee ripe , but suffer them to drop downe , and bee eaten vp by Swine . O what a deere account are you to make him that must giue you your hire ? you are the Beames of the Sun that must ripen the Grapes of the Uine , & if you shine not cleerely , he will eclipse you for euer : your tongues are the instruments y● must cut off rancke & idle Sprigs , to make the bearing-braunches to spred , and vnlesse you keep them sharpe and be euer pruning with them , he will cast you by , and you shall be eaten vp with rust . The Church is a garden and you must weede it : it is a Fountaine , & you must keepe it cleere : it is her Husbands Iewell , and you must pollish it : it is his best belooued , and you must keepe her chast . Many Merchants hath this Cittie to her Sonnes , of al which you are the most noble , you trafficke onely for mens Soules , sending them to the Land of Promise , and to the heauenly Ierusalem , and receiuing from thence ( in Exchange ) the ritchest Commoditie in the world , your owne saluation . O therefore bee not you Slothfull : for if being chosen Pilots , you Sleepe , and so sticke vpon Reckes , you hazard your owne shipwracke more then theirs that venture with you . What a number of Colours are here grounded , to paint out Sloth in his vglines , and to make him loathed , whilst he ( yawning , and his Chin knocking nods into his brest ) regardes not the whips of the moste crabbish Satyristes . Let vs therfore looke vpon his Horse-litter that hee rides in , and so leaue him . A couple of vnshodde Asses carry it betweene them , it is all fluttishly euergrowne with Mosse on the out-side , and on the inside quilted through out with downe pillowes : Sleepe and Plenty leade the Fore-Asse ; a pursie double chind Laena , riding by on a Sump●er-horse with prouāder at his mouth , & she is the Litter-Driuer : shee keepes two Pages , & those are an Irish Beggar on the one side , & One that sayes he has been a Soldier on the other side . His attendants are Sicknes , Want , Ignorāce , Infamy , Bōdage , Palenes , Blockishnes and Carelesnes . The Retayners that wear his cloth are Anglers , Dumb Ministers Players , Exchange-Wenches , Gamsters , Panders , Whores and Fidlers . Apishnesse : OR The fift dayes Triumph . SLoth was not so slow in his march , when hee entred the Citie , but Apishnesse ( that was to take his turne next ) was as quick . Do you not know him ? It cannot be read in any Chronicle , that he was euer with Henrie the eight at Bulloigne or at the winning of Turwin & Turnay : for ( not to belle the sweete Gentleman , ) he was neither in the shell then , no nor then when Paules-steeple and the Weathercocke were on fire ; by which markes ( without looking in his mouth ) you may safely sweare , that hee s but yong , for hee s a feirse , dapper fellow , more light headed then a Musitian : as phantastically attyred as a Court Ieaster : wanton in discourse : lasciuious in behauiour : iocond in good companie : nice in his trencher , and yet he feedes verie hungerly on scraps of songs : be drinkes in a Glasse well , but vilely in a deepe French-bowle : yet much about the year● when Monsieur came in , was hee begotten , betweene a French Tayler , and an English Court-Seamster . This Signior Ioculento ( as the diuell would haue it ) comes prawncing in at Cripplegate , and he may well doe it , for indeede all the parts hee playes are but cou'd speeches stolne from others , whose voices and actions hee counterfestes : but so lamely , that all the Cripples in tenne Spittle-houses , sh●we not more halting . The Grauer Browes were bent against him , and by the awfull Charmes of Reuerend Authoritie , would haue sent him downe from whence he came , for they knew howe smooth soeuer his lookes were , there was a diuell in his bosome : But hee hauing the stronger faction on his side , set them in a Mutenie , Saeu●que animis ignobile vulgus , the manie headed Monster fought as it had beene against Saint George , won the gate , and then with showtes was the Gaueston of the Time , brought in . But who brought him in ? None but ●ichmens sonnes that were left wel● , and had more money giuen by will , then they had wit how to bestow it : none but Prentises almost out of their yéers , and all the Tailors , Haberdashers , and Embroderers that could be got for loue or money , for these were prest secretly to the seruice , by the yong and wanton dames of the Citie , because they would not be seene to shewe their loue to him themselues . Man is Gods Ape , and an Ape is Zani to a man , doing ouer those trickes ( especially if they be knauish ) which hee sees done before him : so that Apishnesse is nothing but counterfetting or imitation : and this flower when it first came into the Citie , had a prettie scent , and a delightfull colour , hath bene let to run so high , that it is now feeded , and where it fals there rises vp a stinking weede . For as man is Gods Ape , striuing to make artificiall flowers , birdes , &c. like to the naturall : So for the same reason are women , Mens Shee Apes , for they will not bee behind them the bredth of a Taylors yard ( which is nothing to speake of ) in anie new-fangled vpstart fashion . If men get vp French standing collers , women will haue the French standing coller too ●● Dublets with little thick skirts , ( so sh●rt that none are able to sit vpon them . ) womens foreparts are thicke skirted too : by sur●etting vpon which kinde of phantasticall Apishnesse in a short time , they fall into the disease of pride : Pride is infectious , and breedes prodigalitie : Prodigalitie after it has runne a little , closes vp and ●ester● , and then turnes to Beggerie . Wittie was that Painter therefore , that when hee had limned one of euery Nation in th●●r proper attyres , and beeing at his wittes endes howe to drawe an Englishman : At the last ( to giue him a quipp● for his follie in apparell ) drewe him starke naked , with Sheeres in his hand , and cloth on his arme , because mans could cut out his fashions but himselfe . For an English-mans suite is ●ke a traitors bodie that hath beene hanged , drawne , and quart , red , and is set vp in se●erall places : his Co●peece is in Denmarke , the collor of his Duble a●d the belly in France : the wing and narrow sleeue in ●taly : the short tras●● hangs ouer a Dutch Botchers stall in Vtrich : his huge stoppes speakes Spanish : Polonia giues him the Bootes : the blocke for his heade alters faster then the Feltmaker can fit●e him , and thereupon we are called in scorne Blockheades . And thus we that mocke euerie . Nation , for keeping one fashion , yet steale patches from euerie one of them , to peece out our pride , are now laughing-stocks to them , because their cut so scuruily becomes vs : This sinne of Apishnesse ▪ whether it bee in apparell ▪ or in diet , is not of such long life as his fellowes , and for seeing none but women and fooles keepe him companie , the one wil be ashamed of him when they begin to haue wrinckles , the other when they feele their purses light . The Magistrate , the wealthy commoner ▪ and the auncient Cittizen , disdaine to come neare him : wee were best therefore , take note of such things as are aboute him , least on a suddaine hee slip out of sight . Apishnesse ri●es in a Chariot made of nothing but cages , in which are all the strangest out-landish Birds that can be gotten : the Cages are slucke full of Parats feathers : the Coach-man is an Italian Mownti-banck who driues a ●awne and a Lambe , for they drawe this Gew-g●w in Winter , when such beasts are r●rest to be had : In Sommer , it goes alone by the motion of wheeles : two Pages in light coloured suites , embrodered full of Butterflies , with wings ●●at slutter vp with the winde , run by him , the one being a dauncing boy the other a T●●●bler : His attend●nts are Folly ▪ Laughter , Inconstancie , Riot , Nicenesse , and Vainglorie : when his Court remoues hee is folowed by Tobacconists , Shittlecock-makers , Feather-makers , Cob-web-lawne-weauers , Perfumers , young Countrie Gentlemen , and Fooles . In whose Ship whilest they all are sayling , let vs obserue what other abuses the Verdimotes Inquest doe present on the lande , albeit they bee neuer reformed , till a second Chaos is to bee refined . In the meane time , In nouafert Animus . Shauing : OR The sixt dayes Triumph . HOw ? Shauing ! Me thinkes Barbers should crie to their Customers winck hard and come running out of their shoppes into the open streetes , throwing all their Suddes out of their learned Latin Basons into my face for presuming to name the Mysterie of Shauing in so vil●anous a companie as these seuen are . Is that Trade ( say they ) that for so many yeares hath beene held vp by so many heades , and has out-hearded the stowtest in England to their faces , Is that Trade , that because it is euermore Trimming the Citie , hath beene for many yéers past made vp into a Societie , and ●a●e their Guild , and their Priuiledges with as much freedome as the best , must that nowe bee counted a sinne ( 〈◊〉 and one of the Deadly sinnes ) of the Cittie ? No , no● be not angry with me , ( O you that bandie away none but sweete washing Balles , and cast none other then Rose-waters for any mans pleasure ) for there is Shauing within the walles of this Great Metropolis , which you neuer ●reamed of : A shauing that takes not only away the rebellious h●ltes , but brings the flesh with it too : and if that cannot suffice , the very bones must follow . If therfore you , and Fiue companies greater then yours , should chuse a Colonel to lead you against this mightie Tamburlaine , you are too weake to make him Retire , and if you should come to a battell , you would loose the day . For behold what Troopes forsake the Standard of the Citie , and flie to him : neither are they base & commōn souldiers , but euen those that haue borne armes a long time . Be silent therfore , and be patient : and since there is no remedie but that ▪ ( this combatant that is so cunning at the sharp ) wil come in , mark in what triumphant and proud manner , he is marshalled through Newgate : At which Bulwarke ( & none other ) did he ( in policy ) desire to shew himself . First , because he knew if the Citie should play with him as they did with Wiat , Newgate held a nūber , that though they were false to all the world , would be true to him . Couragiouously therfore does he enter : All of them that had once serued vnder his colors ( and were now to suffer for the Truth , which they had abused ) leaping vp to the Iron lattaces , to beholde their General , & making such a ratling with shaking their chaines for ●oy , as if Cerberus had bin come frō hell to liue and die amongst them . Shauing is now lodged in the heart of the Citie , but by whom ? and at whose charges ? Mary at a common purse , to which many are tributaries , & therfore no maruell if he be feasted royally . The first that paid their mony towards it , are cruel and couetous Land-lords , who for the building vp of a Chimny , which stands them not aboue 30. s. and for whiting the wals of a tenement , which is searce worth the daubing raise the rent presently ( as if it were new put into the Subsidy book , assessing it at 3. li. a yéer more then euer it went for before : fi●thy wide-mouthd bandogs they are , that for a quarters rent will pull out their ministers throte , if he were their tenāt : And ( though it turn to the vtter vndoing of a man ) being rubd with quicksiluer , which they loue because they haue mangyconsciences , they will let to a drunken Flemming a house ouer his own coūtry-mans head , thinking hee s safe enough from the thunderbolts of their wiues & children , and from curses , and the very vengeance of heauen , if he get by the bargaine but so many Angels as will couer the crowne of his head . The next that laide downe his share , was no Sharer among the Players , but a shauer of yong Gentlemen , before euer a haire dare peepe out of their chinnes : and these are Vsurers : who for a little money , and a greate deale of trash : ( as Fire-shouels , browne-paper , motley cloake-bags , &c. bring yong Nouices into a ●ooles Paradice till they haue sealed the Morgage of their landes , and then like Pedlers , goe they ( or some Familiar spirit for them ra●zde by the Vsurer ) vp and downe to cry Commodities ) which scarce yeeld the third part of the sum for which they take them vp . There are like wise other Barbers , who are so well customed , that they shaue a whole Citie sometymes in three dayes , and they doe it ( as Bankes his horse did his tricks ) onely by the eye , and the eare : For if they either see no Magistrate comming towardes them ▪ ( as being called back by the Common-weale for more serious imployments ) or doe but heare that hee lyes sicke , vpon whom the health of a Cittie is put in haza●d : they presently ( like Prentises vpon Shroue-tuesday ) take the lawe into their owne handes , and doe what they list . And this Legion consists of Market-folkes , Bakers , Brewers , all that weigh their Consciences in Scales . And lastly , of the two degrees of Colliers , viz. those of Char-coles , and those of Newcastle . Then haue you the Shauing of Fatherlesse children , and of widowes , and that 's done by Executors , The Shauing of poore Clients especially by the Atturneyes Clearkes of your Courts , and that 's done by writing their Billes of costs vpon Cheuerell . The Shauing of prisoners by extortion , first , taken by their kéepers , for a prison is builded on such ranke and fertil ground , that if poore wretches sow it with hand-fulles of small debts when they come in if thery lie thee but a while to see the comming vp of them : the charges of the house will bee treble the demaund of the Creditor . Then haue you Brokers that shaue poor men by most iewish interest : marry the diuils trimme them so soone as they haue washed ▪ others . I wil not tell how Uintners shaue their Guestes with a little peece of Paper not aboue three fingers broade ; for their roomes are like Barbars Chaires : Men come into them willingly to bee Shauen . Onely ( which is worst ) bee it knowne ●o thee ( O thou Queene of Cities ) thy Inhabitants Shaue their Consciences so close , that in the ende they growe baloe , and bring foorth no goodnesse . Wee haue beene quicke ( you see ) in Trimming this Cutter of Queene Hith , because t is his propertie to handle others so , let vs bee as nymble in praysing his Houshold-stuffe : The best part of which is his Chariot , richly adorned , It is drawen by foure beasts : the 2. formost are a Wolfe ( which will eate till he be readie to burst ) and hee is Coach-fellow to a she-Bea●e , who is cruell euen to women great with childe : behinde them are a couple of Blood-houndes : the Coach-man is an Informer . Two Pettifoggers that haue beene turned ouer the barre , a●e his Lackies : his Houshold seruants are Wit ( who is his Steward ) Audacitie : Shifting : Inexorabilitie : and Disq●ietnesse of mind : The Meanie are ( besides some person , before named ) skeldring soldiers , and begging schel●ces . Crueltie : OR The seuenth and last dayes Triumph . WHat a weeke of sinfull Reueling hath heere bin with these six p●oud Lords of Miscu●e ? to which of your Hundred parishes ( O you Citizens ) haue not some one of these ( if not all ) remoued their Courts , and feasted you with them ? your Percuilises are not strong inough to keepe them out by day your Watchmen are too sleepy to spie their ●●ealing in by night . There is yet another to enter , as great in power as his fellowes , as subtill , as full of mischiefe : If I shoulde name him to you , you would laugh mee to scorne , because you cannot bee perswaded that such a one should euer bee suffered to liue within the freedome : yet if I name him not to you , you may in time , by him ( as by the rest ) bee vndone . It is Crueltie , O strange ! mee thinkes London should start vp out of her sollid foundation , and in anger bee ready to fall vppon him , and grinde him to dust that durst say , shee is possest with such a deuill . Cruelty ! the verie sound of it shewes that it is no English word : it is a Fury sent out of hel , not to inhabit within such beautifull walles , but amongst Turkes and Tarta●s . The other sixe Monsters transforme themselues into Amiable shapes , and set golden , inticing Charmes to winne men to their Circaean loue , they haue Angelical faces to allure , and bewitching tongues to inchaunt : But Cruelty is a hag , horred in forme , terrible in voice , formidable in threates , A tyrant in his very lockes , and a murderer in all his actions . How then comm●th it to passe that heere he seekes entertainment ? For what Cittie in the world , does more drie vp the teares of the Widdowe , and giues more warmth to the fatherlesse then this ancient and reuerend Grandam of Citties ? Where hath the Orphan ( that is to receiue great portions ) lesse cause to mourne the losse o● Parents ? He findes foure and twentie graue Senators to bee his Fathers instead of one : the Cittie it selfe to bee his Mother : her Officers to bee his Seruants , who see that hee want nothing : her lawes to suffer none to doe him wrong : and though he be neuer so simple in wit , or ●o ●ender in yeares , shee lookes as warily to that welth which is left him , as to the Apple of her owne eye . Where haue the Leaper and the Lunatick Surgery , and Phisicke so good cheape as heere ? their payment is onely than●es : large Hospitalls are erected ( of purpose to make them lodgings ) and the rent is most easie , onely their prayers : yet for all this that Charitie hath her Armes full of children , & that ●ender brested Compassion is still in one street or other dooing good workes : off from the Hindges are one of the 7. Gates readie to bee lifted , to make roome for this Giant : the Whiflers of your inferior and Chiefe companies cleere the wayes before him , men of all trades with shoutes & acclamations followed in thrōges behinde him , yea euen the siluer-bearded , & seuearest lookt cittizēs haue giuen him welcomes in their Parlors . There are in Lond & within the buildings , that roūd about touch her sides , & stand within her reach , Thirteene strong houses of sorrow , where the prisoner hath his heart wasting away sometimes a whole prentiship of yeres in cares . They are most of them built of Fréestone , but none are frée within thē : cold are their imbracemēts : vnwholsom is their chear●● dispaireful their lodgings , vncōfortable their s●ocieties , miserable their inhabitants : O what a deale of wretchednes can make shift to lye in a little roome ! ●f those 13 houses were built al together , how rich wold Griefe be , hauing such large inclosures ? Doth cruelty challēge a fréemans roome in the City because of these places : no , the politicke body of the Republike wold be infected , if such houses as these were not maintained , to keep vp those that are vnsound . Claimes he then an inheritance here , because you haue whipping postes in your streete● for the Uagabond ? the Stocks and the cage for the vnruely beggar ? or because you haue Carts for the Bawde and the Harlot , and Beadles for the Lecher ? neither . Or is it because so many mōthly Sessions are held ? so many men , women and Children cald to a reconing at the Bar of death for their liues ? and so many lamentable hempen Tragedies acted at Tiburne ? nor for this : Iustice should haue wrong , to haue it so reported . No ( you Inhabitants of this little world of people ) Crueltie is a large Tree & you all stand vnder it : you are cruel in compelling your children ( for wealth ) to goe into loathed beds , for therby you make them bond-slaues : what ploughman is so foolish to yoake young hecfars & old bullocks together ? yet such is your husbandry . In fitting your Coaches with horses , you are very curious to haue them ( so neere as you cā , both of a colour , both of a height , of an age , of proportion , and will you bee carelesse in coupling your Children ? he into whose bosome threescore winters haue thrust their frozen fingars , if hee be rich ( though his breath bee rancker then a Muck-hill , his bodye more drye than Mummi , and his minde more lame than Ignorance if selfe ) shall haue offered vnto him ( but it is offered as a sacrifice ) the tender bossome of a Uirgin , vpon whose fore-head was neuer written sixteene yeares : if she refuse this liuing death ( for lesse than a death it cannot be vnto her ) She is threatned to bee left an out-cast , cursd for disobedience , raild at daily , and reuylde howerlye : to saue herselfe from which basenes , She desprately runnes into a bondage , and goes to Church to be married , as if she went to be buried . But what glorye atcheiue you in these conquests ? you doe wrong to Time , inforcing May to embrace December : you dishonour Age , in bringing it into scorne for insufficiency , into a loathing for dotage , into all mens laughter for iealousie . You make your Daughters looke wrinckled with sorrowes , before they be olde , & your sonnes by riot , to be beggars in midst of their youth . Hence comes it , the murders are often contriued , & as often acted : our countrie is woful in fresh examples Hence ●omes it , that the Courtiers giues you an open scoffe , the clown a secret mock , the Cittizen that dwels at your threshald , a ieery frūp : Hence it is , that if you goe by water in the calmest day , you are driuen by some fatall storme into the vnlucky & dangerous hauen betwéene Greenewich & London . You haue another cruelty in keeping men in prison so long , til sicknes & death deal mildely with them , and ( in despite of al tyranny ) baile them out of all executions . When you see a poore wretch that to keep life in a loathed body hath not a house left to couer his head from the tempestes , nor a bed ( but the common bedde which our Mother the earth allowes him ) for his cares to sleepe vppon , when you haue ( by keeping or locking him vp , robd him of all meanes to get , what seeke you to haue him loose but his life ? The miserable prisoner is ready to famish , yet that cānot mooue you , the more miserable wife is readye to runne mad with dispaire , yet that cannot melt you● the moste of all miserable , his Children lye crying at your dores , yet nothin● can awakenin you compassion : if his debts be heauie , the greater and more glorious is your pitt● to worke his freedome , if they be light , the sharper is the Vengeance that will be heaped vpon your heades for your hardnes of hea●t . Wee are moste like to God that made vs , when 〈…〉 one to another , and doe moste looke like th● Di●ell that would destroy vs , when wee are one another st●rme 〈◊〉 If any haue so much flint growing about his bosome , that he will needes make D●ce of mens bones . I would the●e were a lawe to compell him to make drinking bowles of their Sculs too : and that euerie miserable debter that so dyes , might be buried at his Creditors doore , that when hée strides ouer him he might thinke he still rises vp ( like the Ghost in Ieronimo ) crying Reuenge . Crueltie hath yet another part to play , it is acted ( like the old Morralls at Maningtree ) by Trades-men , marrye seuerall companies in the Cittie haue it in study , and they are neuer perfect in it , till the end of seauen yeares at least , at which time , they come off with it roundly . And this it is : When your seruants haue made themselues bondmen to inioy your fruitefull hand-maides , that 's to lay , to haue an honest and thriuing Art to liue by : when they haue fared hardly with you by Indenture , & like your Beasts which carry you haue patiently borne al labours , and all wrongs you could lay vpon them . When you haue gathered the blossomes of their youth , and reaped the fruites of their strength , And that you can no longer ( for shame ) hold them in Captiuitie , but that by the lawes of your Country and of conscience you must vndoe their fetters , Then , euen then doe you hang moste weightes at their heeles , to make them sincke downe for euer : when you are bound to send them into the world to liue , you send them into the world to beg : they seru'd you seuen yéeres to pick vp a poore liuing , and therein you are iust , for you will be sure it shall be a poore liuing indéede they shall pick vp : for what do the rich cubs ? like foxes they lay their heats together in conspiracy , burying their leaden consciences vnder the earth , to the intent that all waters that are wholesome in taste , and haue the swéetnes of gaine in going downe , may he drawne through them only , being the great pipes of their Company , because they sée t is the custome of the Citty , to haue all waters that come thither , conueyed by such large vessels , and they will not breake the customes of the Citty . When they haue the fullnesse of welth to the brim , that it runs ouer , they scarce will suffer their poore Seruant to take that which runs at waste , nor to gather vp the wind-fals , when all the great trées , as if they grew in the garden of the Hesperides , are laden with golden apples : no , they would not haue them gleane the scattered eares of corne , though they themselues cary away the full sheafes : as if Trades that were ordaind to be Communities , had lost their first priuiledges , and were now turnd to Monopolyes . But remember ( ô you Rich men ) that your Seruants are your adopted Children , they are naturalized into your bloud , and if you hurt theirs , you are guilty of letting out your owne , than which , what Cruelty can be greater ? What Gallenist or Paracelsian in the world , by all his water-casting , and minerall extractions , would iudge , that this fairest-fa●●●e daughter of Brute , ( and good daughter to King Lud , who gaue her her name ) should haue so much corruption in her body ? vnlesse ( that béeing now two thousand and seuen hundred yéeres old ) extreme age should fill her full of diseases ! Who durst not haue sworne for her , that of all loathsome sinnes that euer bred within her , she had neuer toucht the sinne of cruelty ? It had wont to be a Spanish Sicknes , and hang long ( incurably ) vpon the body of their Inquisition ; or else a French disease , running all ouer that Kingdome in a Massacre ; but that it had infected the English , especially the people of this now once-againe New-reard-Troy , it was beyond beliefe . But is she cléerely purg'd of it by those pills that haue before bin giuen her ? Is she now sound ? Are there no dregs of this thick and pestilenciall poyson , eating still through her bowels ? Yes : the vgliest Serpent hath not vncurld himselfe . She hath sharper and more black inuenomed stings within her , than yet haue bin shot forth . There is a Cruelty within thée ( faire Troynouant ) worse and more barbarous then all the rest , because it is halfe against thy owne selfe , and halfe against thy Dead Sonnes and Daughters . Against thy dead children wert thou cruell in that dreadfull , horrid , and Tragicall yeere , when 30000. of them ( struck with plagues from heauen ) dropt downe in winding-shéets at thy feet . Thou didst then take away all Ceremonies due vnto them , and haledst them rudely to their last beds ( like drunkards ) without the dead mans musick ( his Bell. ) Alack , this was nothing : but thou tumbledst them into their euerlasting lodgings ( ten in one heape , and twenty in another ) as if all the roomes vpō earth had ●in full . The gallant and the begger lay together ; the scholler and the carter in one bed : the husband saw his wife , and his deadly enemy whom he hated , within a paire of sheetes . Sad & vnséemely are such Funeralls : So felons that are cu● downe from the trée of shame and dishonor , are couered in the earth : So souldiers , after a mercilesse battaile , receiue vnhansome buriall . But suppose the Pestiferous Deluge should againe drowne this little world of thine , and that thou must be compeld to breake open those caues of horror and gastlinesse , so hide more of thy dead houshold in them , what rotten st●nches , and contagious damps would strike vp into thy nosthrils ? thou couldst not lift vp thy head into the aire , for that ( with her condensed sinnes ) would stifle thée ; thou couldst not dine into the waters , for that they being teinted by the ayre , would poison thée . Art thou now not cruell against thy selfe , in not prouiding ( before the land-waters of Affliction come downe againe vpon thée ) more and more conuenient Cabins to lay those in , that are to goe into such farre countries , who neuer looke to come back againe ? If thou shouldst deny it , the Graues when they open , will be witnesses against thée . Nay , thou hast yet Another Cruelty gnawing in thy bosome ; for what hope is there that thou shouldst haue pitty ouer others , when thou art vnmercifull to thy selfe ! Looke ouer thy walls into thy Orchards and Gardens , and thou shalt sée thy seruants and apprentises sent out cunningly by their Masters at noone day vpon deadly errands , when they perceiue that the Armed Man hath struck them , yea euen whē they sée they haue tokens deliuered them from heauen to hasten thither , then send they them forth to walke vpon their graues , and to gather the flowers thēselues that shall stick their own Herse . And this thy Inhabitants do , because they are loth & ashamd to haue a writing ouer their dores , to tell that God hath bin there , they had rather all their enemies in the world should put them to trouble , then that he should visit them . Looke againe ouer thy walls into thy Fields , and thou shalt heare poore and forsaken wretches lye groaning in ditches , and traualling to seeke out Death vpon thy common hye wayes . Hauing found him , he there throwes downe their infected carcases , towards which , all that passe by , looke , but ( till common shame , and common necessity compell● none st●p in to giue them buriall . Thou setst vp pos●s to whip them when they are aliue : Set vp an Hospitall to comfort them being sick , or purchase ground for them to dwell in when they be well , and that is , when they be dead . Is it not now hye time to so●nd a Retreate , after so terrible a battaile fought betwéene the seuen Electors of the Low Internall Countryes , and one little City ? What armyes come marching along with them ? What bloudy ●●●lors do they spread ? What ●rtillery do they mount to batter the walls ? How valiant are their seuen Generalls ? How expert ? How full of fortune to conquer ? Yet nothing sooner ouerthrowes them , than to bid them battaile fi●st , and to giue them defiance . Who can deny● now , but that Sinne ( like the seuen-headed Nylus ) hath ouerflowed thy banks and thy buildings ( o thou glory of Great Brittaine ) and made thée fertile ( for many yéeres together ) in all kindes of Vices ? Volga , that hath fifty streames falling one into another , neuer ranne with ●o swift and vnreststable a current as these Black-waters do , to bring vpon thee an Inundation . If thou ( as thou hast done ) knéelest to worship this Beast with Seuen Crowned Heads , and the Whore that sits vpon it , the fall of thée ( that hast out-stood so many Citties ) will be greater then that of Babylon . She is now gotten within thy walls ; she rides vp and downe thy stréetes , making thee drunke out of her cup , and marking thée in the forhead with pestilence for her owne . She causes Violls of wrath to be powred vpon thee , and goes in triump● away , when she sées thée falling . If thou wilt be safe therefore and recouer health rise vp in Armes against her , and driue her ( and the Monster that beares her ) out at thy Gates . Thou seest how prowdly and impetuously sixe of these Centaures ( that are halfe man , halfe beast , and halfe diuell ) come thundring alongst thy Habitations , and what rabbles they bring at their heeles ; take now but note of the last , and marke how the seuenth rides : for if thou findest but the least worthy quality in any one of them to make thee loue him , I will write a Retractation of what is inucyd against them before , and pollish such an Apology in their defence , that thou shal● be enamored of them all . The body and face of this Tyrannous Commander , that leades thus the Reareward , are already drawne : his Chariot is tramed all of ragged Flint so artificially bestowed , that as it runnes , they strike one another , and beate out fire that is able to consume Citties : the wheeles are many , and swift : the Spokes of the wheeles , are the Shin-bones of wretches that haue bin eaten by misery out of prison . A couple of vnruly , fierce , and vntamed Tygers ( cal● Murder and Rashnes ) drew the Char●ot : Ignorance holds the reynes of the one , and Obduration of the other : Selfe-will is the Coach-man . In the vpper end of the Coach , sits Cruelty alone , vpon a bench made of dead mens sculls . All the way that he rides , he sucks the hearts of widdowes and father-lesse children . He kéepes neither foote-men nor Pages , for none will stay long with him . He hath onely one attendant that euer followes him , called Repentance , but the Beast that drawes him , runnes away with his good Lord and Master so fast before , that Repentance being lame ( and therefore slow ) t is alwayes very late ere he comes to him . It is to be feared , that Cruelty is of great authority where he is knowne , for few or none dare stand against him : Law only now and then beards him , and stayes him , in contempt of those that so terribly gallop before him : but out of the Lawes hands , if he can but snatch a sheathed sword ( as oftentimes hée does ) presently hée whip● it out , smiting and wounding with it euery one that giues him the least crosse word . He comes into the Citty , commonly at All-gate , beeing drawne that way by the smell of bloud about the Barres , ( for by his good will he drinks no other liquour : ) but when hee findes it to be the bloud of Beasts ( amongst the Butchers ) and not of men , he flyes like lightning along the Causey in a madnes , threatning to ouer-runne all whom he méetes : but spying the Brokers of Hownsditch shuffling themselues so long together ( like a false paire of Cards ) till the Knaues be vppermost , onely to doe homage to him , he stops , kissing all their chéekes , calling them all his déerest Sonnes ; and bestowing a damnable deale of his blessing vpon them , they cry , Roome for Cruelty , and are the onely men that bring him into the Citty : To follow whom vp and downe so farre as they meane to goe with him , — Dii me terrent , & Iupiter hostis . FINIS . Tho. Dekker . Warres . THe purple whip of vengeance , ( the Plague hauing beaten many thousands of mē , women , & children to death , and still marking the people of this Cittie , ( euery weeke ) by hundreds for the graue , is the onely cause , that al her Inhabitance walke vp & downe like mourners at some great soleme funeral , the Citie her selfe being the Chiefe mourners . The poyson of this Lingering infection , strikes so déepe into all mens harts , that their cheekes ( like cowardly Souldiers ) haue lost their colours ? their eyes , ( as if they were in debt , and durst not looke abroad , ) doe scarce péepe out of their heads ; and their tongues ( like phisitions ill payd ) giue but cold comfort . By the power of their Pestilent Charmes , all mercy méetings are cut off . All frolick assemblyes dissolued , and in their circles are raised vp , the Blacke , Sullen and Dogged spirits of Sadnesse , of Melancholy , and so ( consequently ) of Mischiefe . Mirth is departed , and lyes dead & buryed in mens bosomes , Laughter dares not looke a man in the face ; Iests are ( like Musicke to the Deafe , not regarded : Pleasure it selfe finds now no pleasure , but in Seghing , and Bewailing the Miseries of the Time. For ( alack ) what string is there ( now ) to bée played vpon whose tench can make vs merry ? Play-houses , stand ( like Tauernes , that haue cast out their Maisters ) the dores locked vp , the Flagges ( like their Bushes ) taken down , or rather like Houses lately infected , from whence the affrited dwellers are fled , in hope to liue better in the Country . The Players themselues did neuer worke till now , there Comodies are all turned to Tragedies , there Tragedies to Nocturnals , and the best of them all are weary of playing in those Nocturnall Tragedies . Thinke you to delight your selues by kéeping company with our Poets ? Proh Dolor ! their Muses are more Sullen then old Monkeys , now that mony is not stirring , they neuer Plead chéerfully , but in their Tearme times , when the Two-peny Clients , and Peny Stinkards swarme together to héere the Stagerites : Playing vocations are Diseases now as common and as hurtful to them , as the Fowle Euill to a Northen Man , or the Pox to a French man. O Pittifull Poetry , what a lamentable prentiship hast thou serued , and ( which is the greatest spite ) canst not yet be made Free ! no , no , there is no good doings in these dayes but amongst Lawyers , amongst Vintners , in Bawdy houses and at Pimlico . There is all the Musick , ( that is of any reckning ) there all the méetings , there all the mirth , and there all the mony . To walke euery day into the fields is wearisome ; to drink vp the day and night in a Tauerne , loathsome : to bée euer ryding vpon that Beast with two Heades , Letchery ) most damnable , and yet to be euer idle , is as detestable . What merry Gale shall wée then wish for ? vnles it bée to Ferry ouer the Hellespont , and to crosse from Sestus to Abidus , that is to say , from London to the Beare Garden ? The company of the Beares hold together still ; they play their Tragi-Comaedies as liuely as euer they did : The pide Bul héere kéepes a tossing and a roaring , when the Red Bull dares not stir . Into this I le of Dogs did I therefore transport my selfe , after I had made tryall of all other pastimes . No sooner was I entred but the very noyse of the place put me in mind of Hel : the beare ( dragd to the stake ) shewed like a black rugged soule , that was Damned , and newly committed to the infernall Charle , the Dogges like so many Diuels , inflicting torments vpon it . But when I called to mind , that al their tugging together was but to make sport to the beholders , I held a better and not so damnable an opinion of their beastly doings : for the Beares , or the Buls fighting with the dogs , was a liuely represētation ( me thought ) of poore men going to lawe with the rich and mightie . The dogs ( in whom I figured the poore creatures ) and fitly may I doe so , because when they stand at the dore of Diues , they haue nothing ( if they haue thē but bare bones throwne vnto them , might now & then pinch the great ones , & perhaps vex them a little by drawing a few drops of blood from them : but in the end , they commonly were crushed , & either were carried away with ribs broken , or their skins torne & hanging about their eares , or else ( how great so euer their hearts were at the first encounter ) they ( stood at the last ) whining and barking at their strong Aduersaries , when they durst . not , or could not bite them . At length a blinde Beare was tyed to the stake , and in stead of baiting him with dogges , a company of creatures that had the shapes of men , & faces of christians ( being either Colliers , Carters , or watermen ) tooke the office of Beadles vpon them , and whipt monsieur Hunkes , till the blood ran downe his old shoulders : It was some sport to sée Innocence triumph ouer Tyranny , by beholding those vnnecessary tormentors go away with scratchd hands , or torne legs from a poore Beast , arm'd onely by nature to defend himselfe against Violence : yet me thought this whipping of the blinde Beare , moued as much pittie in my breast towards him , as y● leading of poore starued wretches to the whipping posts in London ( when they had more néede to be reléeued with foode ) ought to moue the hearts of Cittizens , though it be the fashion now to laugh at the punishment . The last Chorus that came in , was an old Ape drest vp in a coate of changeable cullers ( on horsebacke ) and he rode his circuit with a couple of curres muzled , that like two footemen ran on each side of his old Apes face , euer and anon leaping vp towards him and making a villanous noise with their chappes , as if they had had some great suites to his Apishnes , and that he by the haste he made had no leisure to heare such base and bashfull Petitioners . The hunny that I sucked out of this weede , was this : That by séeing these , I called to minde the infortunate cōdition of Soldiers ▪ and old seruitors , who when the stormes of troubles are blowne ouer , being curbd of meanes ▪ and so burying that courage and worth that is in their bosoms , are compeld ( by the vilenesse of the tune ) to follow y● heeles of Asles with gay trappings , not daring so much as once to open their lips in reprehension of those apish beastly and ridiculous vices , vpon whose monstrous backes they are carried vp and downe the world , and they are flattered onely for their greatnes , whilst those of merit liue in a slauish subiection vnder them . No pleasure thus , nor any place being able to giue perfect contentment to the minde : I left swimming in those common sensuall streames , wherein the world hath béene so often in danger of béeing drowned , and waded onely in those cleare brookes , whose waters had their currents from the springs of learning . I spent my howres in reading of Histories , and for the laying out of a little time , receiued larger interest then the greatest vsurers doe for their money . By looking on those perspectiue glasses . I beheld kingdomes and people a farre off , came acquainted with their manners , their pollicies , their gouernement , their risings , and their downefalles : was present at their battailes , and ( without danger to my selfe ) vnlesse it were in gréeuing to sée States so ouerthrowne by the mutabilitie of Fortune , I saw those Empires vtterly brought to subuersion , which had béene terrours and triumphers ouer all the nations vppon earth . The backe of Time which was next to mine eie , ( because he was gone from me ) was written full of Tragicall wonders : but the hinder part of his reuerend head was bare and made bald by mens abusing it , O Histories ! you soueraigne balmes to the bodyes of the dead , that preserue them more fresh then if they were aliue , kéepe the fames of Princes from perishing , when marble monuments cannot not saue their bones from being rotten , you faithfull entelligensers , betwéene Kingdomes and Kingdomes , your truest councellors to Kings , euen in their greatest dangers ! Hast thou an ambition to be equall to Princes ! read such bookes as are the Chronicles of Ages , gone before thée : there maiest thou finde lines drawre ( if vertue be thy guide ) to make thee paralell with the greatest Monarch : wouldest thou be aboue him ▪ there is the scale of him ascending Huntst thou after glory ? marke in those pathes how others haue run , and follow thou in the same course . Art thou sicke in minde ? ( and so to be diseased , is to be sicke euen to the death ) there shalt thou finde physicke to cure thée . Art thou sad ? where is swéeter musicke then in reading ? Art thou poore ? open those closets , and inualuable treasures are powred into thy hands . Whilest I dwelt vpon the contemplation of this happinesse , the dreames of Infants were not more harmelesse then my thoughts were , nor the slumbers of a conscience that hath no sting to kéepe it waking more delicate then the musicke which I found in reading ; but the swéetest flower hath his withering , and euery pleasure his ending . This full Sea had a quicke fall , and the day that was warme and bright in the morning , had frosts and gloomy darknesse to spoile the beauty of it ere it grew to be noone : for on a suddaine all the aire was filled with noise , as if heauen had bin angry , and chid the earth for her Villanies , people rush headlong together , like torrents running into the sea , full of fury in shew , but loosing the effect of doing violence ▪ because they know not how to do it , their rage and madnesse burning in them like fire in wet straw , it made a great stinking smoake , but had no flame . Wildnesse and afrightment were ill fauouredly drawne in euery face , as if they had all come from acting some fresh murder , and that at euery step they were pursued , Arme was cryed , and swords were drawne , but either they had no hearts to strike , or no hands , for ( like so many S. Georges on horse-backe ) they threatned , but gaue not a blow , euery one fearing to smite first , least the rest should make that an occasion to kill him for beginning the quarrell . But at the last drummes were heard to thunder , and trumpets to sound alarums , murmure ran vp & downe euery streete , and confusion did beate at the gates of euery City , men met together , and ran in heards like Deere frighted , or rather like Beares chased , or else séeking for prey . But what wild beasts ( thinke you ) were these that thus kept such a roaring ? it was a people sauage and desperate , a nation patchd vp ( like a beggers cloake of the worst péeces ) that could be gathered out of all nations and put into one . They were more scattered then the Iewes , and more hated ; more beggerly then the Irish , and more vnciuill ; more hardy then the Switzers , and more brutish : giuen to drinke , more then the Dutch , to pride more then the French , to irreligion more then the Italian . They were like the Dunkirkes , a mingle mangle of countries , a confusion of languages , yet all vnderstanding one another . Such as the people were , such was the Princesse whom they followed , she had all their conditions , & they all hers , séeming to be made for no other purpose then to gouerne them , because none else could be bad inough to be their gouernour . They obeyed her not for loue , nor feare , but made her onely great amongst them , because it was their will to haue it so , she ( amongst a number of vices , that reigned in her ) hauing onely this vertue of a Prince , not to see her people take wrong . Into armes therfore as well for her owne chastity ▪ as defence of her subiects doth she determine to put her selfe presently . A faithful & serious inquisition made I to vnderstād the cause of this suddaine and vniversall vprore , and by true intelligence ( from persons of either side ) found that the quarrell was old , the enmity mortall , the enemies puissant and fierce , many leagues had béene made , and all were broken , no conditious of peace would now be looked vpon , open warre must be the the sword to stricke open wrong . The fires ( kindled by Guizian Leagues ) set not France in hotter combustions then these are likely to proue , if the flames in time be not wisely quenched . The showers of bloud which once rained downe vpon the heads of the two kingly families in England , neuer drowned more people , not that braue Romane tragedy acted in our time , at the battel of Neuport , not the siege of Bommell , where heads flew from sholders faster then bullets from the Cannon . No , nor all those late acts of warre and death , commenced by Hispaniolized Netherlanders , able to make vp a Chronicle to hold all the world reading : did euer giue rumour cause to speak so much as the battailes of these two mighty enemies ( so mortally falling out ) will force her to proclaime abroade , vnlesse they grow to a reconcilement , to which , by the coniecture of all strangers , that haue trauailed into both their dominions , and know the hot and ambitious spirits of the quarrellers , they cannot easily be drawne : for no one paire of scales being able to hold two Kings at one time : and this law being ingrauen on the very inside of euery Kings crowne ( because it is the wedding ring of his Empire to which hée is the Bride-groome ) that , Nulla fides socijs Regni ▪ omnisque potestas , Impatiens Consortis erit . At the sterne of a kingdome , two Pilots must not sit , nor principality endure a partner , and againe , that Non capit Regnum duos , A Kingdome is heauen , and loues not two suns shining in it . How is it possible , or how agréeable to the politick grounds of state , that two such potentates should be vnited in firme friendship , sithence their quarrel is deriued from an equall claime of soueraignety . Ouer Citties is there ambition to bée Superiours , yet not together but alone . and not onely ouer London ( the great Metropolis of England ) but also ouer Paris in the kingdom of Fraunce ; ouer Ciuil , and Madril in Spaine ; ouer Rome in Italy : Francfurt and Colin in high Germany : Antwerp in Brabant , Elsinor in Denmarke , Prage in Bohemia ; Craconia in Poland : Belgrad in Hungary , and so ouer all the other Capitall Citties , that bewtifies the greatest Kingdomes of Europe . For Signority in these doe they contend . Haue you not a longing desire , to know the names of the generals that are to commaund these expected armies ; and from what countries they come ? what forces march with them ? and what warlike Stratagems they stand vpon ? I haue a little before roughly drawne the picture of one of them ; the Princesse her selfe being barbarous , néedy , of great power by reason of her people , but far vnable to kéepe them in pay , or in order , they themselues ( how valiant soeuer they bée ) being likewise all together , vntrained and indisciplinable , yet full of courage , and desire to set vpon the Enemy . Whose Army though it consist not of such multitudes , ( number being oftentimes the confusions of battailes ) yet is the Empresse , vnder whose collours they fight , full of riches ( which are the sinews of Warre ) of great commaund , feared and loued , yea adored as a Diety , of a Maiesticall presence of incomparable bewty . Such a one , that euen the very sight of her is a Charme strong enough to make mē venture their liues in the quarrell of her right . Kings are to her beholden , for she often sends them suplies , and therefore pay they homage vnto her . Her Captaines are pollitik & fight rather vpon aduantages , then vpon equality , her soldiers braue & resolute , hardly drawne to venture into dangres , but when they are in , a thousand Stratagems vse they to saue themselues : what they get they kéepe , which is one of the noblest points belonging to a souldier , for it is more hard to vse a victory wel after it is gotten , then it is to get it . The name of this latter Princesse , is the renowned Empres Argurion ( Mony ) The name of the former , is that warlike Virago famd ouer all the earth , for her hardines , called Pouerty . Now to the intent that the whole world ( as an indifferent Iudge may arbitrate the wrongs done by betwéene these two states , & by that meanes find out which of them both come into the field with vniust armes : you shal vnderstand the Pouerty being sundry waies déeply indebted to the kingdome of Money , as hauing beene from time to time relieued by her ▪ and not being well able to maintaine herselfe in her owne dominions , but that Money hath sent her in prouision , it had béene neither policy , neither could it stand with her honour , that Pouerty should first breake the league , neither indéede hath she , but hath euer had a de●ire to be in amity rather with the excellent Princesse , then with any other Monarch whatsoeuer . But the golden mines of the west & east Indies , ( ouer which the other Empresse is sole Soueraigne , swelling vp her bosome with pride , couetousnesse , and ambition , as they doe her coffers with treasure , made her to disdaine the miserable poore Quéene , & in that height of scorne , to hate the holding of any confederacy with her , that she on the soddaine , ( most treacherously and most tyrannously ) laboured by all possible courses , not onely to driue the subiects of Pouerty from hauing commerce in any of her rich & so populous Cities , but also wrought ( by the cruelty of her own ministers , and those about her ) to roote the name , not onely of that infortunate and deiected Princesse , from the earth , but euen to banish all her people to wander into desarts , & to perish , she cared not how or where . Hereupon strict proclamation went thundring , vp and downe her dominions , charging her wealthy subiects , not to negotiate any longer with these beggers , that flocke dayly to her kingdome , strong guards were planted at euery gate , to barre their entrance into Cities , whipping-postes and other terrible engines , were aduaunced in euery street to send thē home bléeding new , if they were takē wandring ( like shéep broken out of leane pastures into fat ) out of their owne liberties , Constables were chosen of purpose that had Marble in their hearts , thornes in their tonges , and flint-stones like pearles ) in their eies , and none cou●d be admitted into the office of a Beadle , vnles he brought a certificate from Paris Garden , that he had béene a Beare-ward , and could play the Bandog brauely in baiting poore Christians at a stake , better then curres ( there ) baite the Bull , or then Butchers Mastiues , when they worry one another . These peales of small shot , thus terribly going off , the poore Hungarians ( with their pennilesse Princesse ) did not onely not shew a fowle paire of héeles , to flye to saue themselues ( as it was to be feared they would haue done , like cowardly peasants ) but rather they grew desperate , and sticking closly , ( like Prentises vpon Shrouetwuesday one to another , they vowed ( come death ) , come diuels ) to stand against whole bands of browne rusty bille-men , though for their labours they were sure to be knockt downe like Oxen for the slaughter ; but a number of ●ack-strawes being amongst them , and opening whole Cades of councell in a cause so dangerous , they were all turned to dry powder , took fire of resolution , and so went off with this thundring noise , that they would dy like men , though they were but poore knaues , and counted the stinkards and scum of the world : and yet as rash as they were they would not run headlong vpon the mouth of the Canon ▪ No , but like snailes pulling in the hornes of their fury , they hid their heades for a time , either ( like spies to watch for aduantages , or to try if this rotten whéele of Fortune would turne , and that the broken world could mend , but all the waters of chastity and goodnesse being poisoned , of which they both thirsted , & hoped to drinke : and all the wayes to come to the presence of Money , at whose féete they would haue fallen , and complained of their wrongs , being likewise cut off , & none of their thréed-bare company , vpon paine of death , daring to stand within ten miles of her Court gates , for feare they should either lift them off the hinges and steale them quite away , ( being all of beaten gold ) or else cunningly in the night time , should file off handfuls ( like pin-dust , thereby to enrich themselues , she being their vowed enemie . It was therefore by a generall voice concluded , that they would all put themselues into armes , and for that purpose went in swarmes to the Court of Pouerty , ( their good Lady and mistresse ) and neuer gaue ouer balling in their eares , till shee had sworne by her crowne , though she had scarce two shillings in her purse , that open warre should presently be proclaimed against that arrogant haughty , ambitious Tyrant Money . Hereupon pouerty summoned her councel for war , together they came , and being set , shée at large laide open what wrongs and dishonors her enemy had done to her & her subiects , withal declaring how willing her poore people were to venture their liues in her quarrell , and that their very fingers itched to be doing with the rich chuffes , and Usurers , and others that were seruants , or rather slaues to Money , adding moreouer , that a number of her enemies subiects too wel known by the name of Banck-rupts ( being a great and auncient family in her greatest City ) haue of late gotten other mens goods into their hands , spending them basely and villanously in prisons , colouring this their politicke theft , by giuing out , that they are subiects to Pouerty , albeit they were neuer suffered to harbour in her dominions . To cleare herselfe of these , and such like imputations and dishonorable scandals , as also to let Money know , that she hath more right to those townes & Cities to which she pretendeth sole claime then Money hath her selfe , and that like a Prince , though her coffers be not so full , nor he● forces so able , she purposeth to defend her owne title , & not to loose one foote of that which was left to herby her Ancestors , all of them comming out of old & ancient houses , it is therefore her resolution , to send defiance to her insolent enemy , and to that end ( for their aide and Aduice , hath she thos called them before her . Her councellors applauded the courage of their Princesse , and ( being first brought on their knées ) g●ue her reasons to goe forward in so iust a warre . All of them for the most part being glad , that the Golden age should now come amongst them , and proudly reioycing that they should bid battaile to so rich an enemy as Money and her 〈◊〉 to haue about with whom , they haue for a long time had both a desire , and waited for aduantage to picke a quarrell . Those that were at this time of Pouerties counsel , were then well beaten to the world ▪ all of them great 〈◊〉 , such as had seene many countries : As hardy as they were wise , i● shall not be amisse in this place , to draw the liuelie pictures of them , because if any of their owne countrimen happen to behold them their report may cō●irme the trueth of all that is h●re related . Their names are these : Councellors to Pouerty . Discontent . Hunger . Sloth . Industry . Despaire . Carelesnesse . Repining . Beggery . Miserie . DIscontent had a graue coun●enance , somewhat inclining to melancholie , temperate of spéech , and sparing in diet , not caring either for pleasures , or gréedy of honours : but ( as a man that is wearie of the world for the impieties in it ) wishing rather to die then to liue . One thing was noted in him more then in any other Courtier , that in all his life time , hee had neuer béene a teuellor , nor euer courted Lady , he séem'd indifferent whether the warres went forward or not : yet inwardly more gréeued at the wrongs of his Prince , then at any iniuries that could be done to himselfe . Despaire and Carelesnesse were brothers , & in great fauour with Pouety ( their Princess● ) she neuer was well but when one of them was in her company , yet the wiser sort thought that they did much mischéefe to the State. Despaire was not bel●ued by reason of his crueltie : for if hee got any man into his hands , hee hung him vp presentlie . Hunger was one of the best commanders for warre , that was in all the Land : a man of almost an inuincible stomack , hée had euerthrowne many armies , & sped most fortunately at the besieging of a Towne or Cittie , where continually he vseth to behaue himselfe so valiantly that no stone w●ll ( of what height or strength whatsoeuer ) is able to hold him out : yet is hee not accounted so ●ound a common wealths man as some of the rest , for that it is imagined , hee loues the enemy better then his owne country , & if occasion were offered , would rather fly to Money then serue Pouerty ( his Soueraigne . ) A great transporter of corne he hath beene from time to time : for which cause the people hate him in their hearts , and d ee now and then openly cry out against him with such clamor● , that he hath béene glad to stop their mouthes . The onely good that he doth , and indéede the only cause for which the kingdome loues him , is that when hee leads men on in any hot piece of seruice , they get such stomacks by séeing ho●● brauely he laies about him , that they neuer come off stil they be satisfied , 〈◊〉 béeing as good to them as meate and ●rinke . Sloth , by reason that he is troubled with the gout , bu●ies himselfe little with State matters , he hath lyen bed-●id for many yéeres , and gréeues that any stir should be made in the common wealth he was neuer either ●ilter or trauellor , his body being weake and subiect to diseases , which made him vnapt for both . Repining w●s the onely man , that whetted on both his Prince and her subiects to go forward in these warres : for he could by no means abide either Money or her followers , it fretted him more to sée any of them prosper , then if himselfe had fallen into the lowest misfortune . He dealt altogether in Monopolies : for which the people gaue him many bitter curses , and those ( I thinke ) kéepe his body so leane . Industry , was a goodly personage , a faithfull friend to his Prince , and a father to his country , a great Lawyer , & a déepe scholler , stout in warre , and prouident in peace . Pouerty ( whom he serued ) did often say , that two such councellors ( as Industry ) were able vpon their shoulders onely to support any State in the world . In deare yeeres , when the Land had beene ready to sterue , hath he reléeued it , and turned dearth into plenty : his head is euer full of cares , not for himselfe so much as for the people , whom hee loues and tenders as déerely as if they were his kindred : yet stand they not so well affected to him , because he compelles them to take paines , when t is their naturall inclination ( like Drones ) to liue basely , and to féede upon the bread that the sweat of other mens browes doe earne . A good States man he is , and a louer of peace , séeking rather to draw Money to be stil in league with Pouerty , then to haue them thus at defiance one against another . Beggery , and Miserie , are so well knowne to vs , I shall not néede to draw their faces . These councellors , after many arguments , weighed out to prooue the necessity either of warre or peace ▪ at the last concluded vpon the former . The drumme was therefore struck vp , to ●ry what voluntaries would offer themselues : but few uoluntaries ( or none at all ) came in . Then went forth a uery streight command , to presse not onely all masterlesse men , but all others of what condition or profession soeuer , that liued vnder the subiection of Pouerty . The Captaines Lieftenants , Corporals , Serieants , and the companies that were casheard and cast , vpon concluding of the late league in the low Countries , hearing of these new wa●res , threw vp their old weather-beaten hattes with torne fethers in them , fetcht capers aboue ground , danced , swere , drunke tobacko , and Dutch béere , and after they had fallen on their knées cursing for halfe an howre together , all truces , leagues , confederacies , & combinations of peace , they bitterly cryed out vpon the proud and tyranous gouernement of Money : some of them damning themselues to the pit of hell , if euer they could but finger her , they would see an vtter confusion and end of her : because for her sake , and vpon her golden promises they had ventured their liues , spent their blood , lost legs and armes , had béene pinched with cold parched with heate ▪ fed vpon cabbage , vpon rootes , & vpon Christmas day ( in stead of minched pyes ) had no better chéere then prouant ( mouldy Holland chéfe , and course browne bread ) not a rag to their backes , yes , rags more thē they cared for : but not thrée sti●ers among fiue of them . They therefore uowed to serue Pouerty , to liue and dye with her , and with all their forces to set vpon Money , who had made them slaues to the world , not rewarding thē to their merit : and thereupon striking vp their drum , and spreading their tottered cullors which hung full of honour , because it was full of holes , and was indéede no bigger , nay scarce so big , as the flagge of a Play-house , away they came ( troopewise ) with bag and baggage marching , and were receiued ( as old soldiers should be ) at the hands of Pouerty , she sweating by her birth , and the fame of her Ancestors ( who were well knowne farre and néere ) that she would neuer forsake their company , but sticke to them euen to the death . The businesse thus successefully thriuing at the first , gaue encouragement to all to haue it set forward , so that precepts were forthwith directed to the Hals of euery Company , who albeit they had furnished the Queene of siluer and gold ( Mony ) with certaine voluntary hands of sound approued souldiers : Yet ( because they themselues , that were old growne okes , cared not how many paltry low bushes that nestled vnder their shadowes were cut downe ) they prest ten times more of euery trade , to fight vnder the banner of Pouerty , than those were that went to serue her enemy . Yet was it a long time ere the Handicrafts men could be mustred together : for Carelessenes ( one of the former councellours ) whose ambition consisted in popular greatnesse , and had stolne the hearts of the common people , gaue them a pr●uy inck●●ng of the presse before it ca●●●orth , and wished them to shut for themselues , by being dispersed , ●or a time abroad , whose counsel they following , threw by their tooles , neglected their trades fled from their shops , and spent both their gettings and their goods in common bowling-allies , dicing houses and alehouses . But proclamation being made , That vpon paine of death they should all ( by such an howre ) be ready to come into the field , and fight for Pouerty ( their soueraigne Lady and mistres . ) It is incredible to be spoken , what infinite multitudes of all occupations , ( some yong , some old , were in a short time assembled together . Schollers hearing of this , fled from the Uniuersities , and made such hast to be in pay with Pouerty ( whom they had knowne a long time ) that some of them had scarce put shoes to their seete : The Queene bestowed very good words vppon them , because Schollers had alwayes béene fauored by her progenitors , and ( vpon her bare command ) they tooke such place vnder her in the Army , as was sutable to their professions . Young Gentlemen , that neither durst walke vp and downe the Citty , for feare of Rauens and Rites , that houered to catch them in their tallons , and could get no entertainement in the court of Money , because they were yonger brothers , and condemned by the verduict of Silkemen and Mercers to be most Desperate fellowes : yet were they all wellcome to Pouerty . These yonger Brothers were appointed to stand Insans perdus ( or the Forlorne hope ) because though they had little to loose but their liues : yet they should wi●ne honour , nay perhaps knighthood , which in these dayes are better then lands : is fat widdewes can be but drawne to nibble at that worshipfull ba●te . And for that purpose did a goodly troupe of knights put them selues ( as knights errant ) into Armes , in defence of the innocent wronged Lady , ( Pouerty ) which Cheualiers , though they durst not ( as some ill-tongd people gaue out ) shew their heads in the Cittie : yet were they appointed Masters of the field , and had the charge of the most resolute troopes that were to scale the Cittie ( If the enemie should cowardly happen to fly thether ) and to ransacke all the Mercers and Gold-smiths shops , not so much to set frée the silkes , veluets , plate and iewels imprisond most cruelly in them , as to vndoe the old Cittizens , & then to marry their yong wiues , and so to raise them vp to honour in their most knightly posteritie . A regiment of old seruingmen were sworne the guard to Pouerties person , of whom there was great hope , that they would both stand stifly to her in any danger , and if the maine battailes did euer ioyne , would be the onely Canonéeres to breake their ranckes , because they had such excellent skill in charging and discharging of the great Bombard . There came in some seuen thousand Banckrouts , offering their seruice to the distressed and wronged Princesse , who gaue them thankes for their loue : yet was she fearefull to trust them , because a number in her owne army exclaimed vpon them , as the ranckest villaines in a common wealth , and that they had vndone them , their wiues and children : But the dangers wherein they now all stoode , requiring rather hands to punish the wrongs done by an enemie , then to rip vp old wounds of their owne . Those seuen thousand had the ordering of all fire-workes , Mines , and countermines , as béeing the onely rare fellowes for damnable and spéedy blowing vp of men in any assault . The vanguard béeing filled vp thus with their troopes before named , a stoute company of honest Housholders , ( whose seruants like Acteons dogs , had with whoring , dicing ▪ and drinking eaten vp their Masters ) came brauely vp in the Reare : their wings consisted of schoolemasters , husbandmen , fencers , Knights of the Poste , and such like , who had all vowed by the crosse of their swords , and by the honour of a souldier to die at Pouerties féete . It was in the middle of a Terme , when the fire of these ciuill broiles first began to kindle : but Law hauing with many hard words on both sides taken vp a number of brabling matters , and for her healths sake beeing rid into the country , whereby a great crew of her followers , that were not able with bag and baggage to march after her in that progresse ) were ready to giue vp their cloakes , ( the summer was so hot for them ) and because all their practise was but to set people together by the eares , a number of them therfore vpon their bare knées , begd that they might serue Pouertie in her warres , whereupon certaine broken-héeld , gowtie-legd , durty-hamd pettifoggers , with some lack-latine prowling pennurious country Attorneys , were promoted to be Clarkes of Bands , Pandors , Pimpes , and Apple-squires came thicke and thréefold , and had the leading of the Pioners , because they had déepest skill in digging of Trenches . The victualers to the Camp , were a company of double-chind polt-footed , stincking-breathd Bauds , who with pewter bottles of Aqua vitae at their girdles , rings with deaths heads on their fore fingers , and old stitchd hats , out of fashion on their heads , came along with the bag & baggage , and were ready if any poore soldier fainted , to put life into him againe by a sip from their bottles , and to lift vp his spirits . The whole Army being thus leuyed , Pouerty was found to be one hundred thousand strong in the field , whom martialling in the best order of warre , they marched forward with full resolution , either to take Money and her subiects prisoners , or else neuer to come out of the field , so long as they & Pouertie ( their mistresse and powrefull commander ) could be able to hold life and soule together . The Preparation , strength , and stratagems of the second Armie . NO treason was euer so secretly contriued , so cunningly carried , nor so resolutely attempted : but either in the very growing vp it hath beene discouered , or the head of it cut off , where it was at point to come to the full ripenesse . The workes of Princes are great , and require many hands to finish them , and a number of engines cannot be set , going so closely , that no eare shall heare them : Ioue may talke in his big voice of thunder as soone and not be vnderstoode , as a kingdome may call vp her owne subiects with the yron tongue of warre , and not awaken those people that are her neighbours . The eies of a true State do neuer sléepe , Princes are quickest of hearing , the blowes that forraine enemies giue , are broken for the most part : because the weapon is alwaies séene and put by , otherwise they would cut déepe , and draw blood , where ( by such preuention ) they scarce giue bruises . This mercilesse tyrant therefore ( Pouerty ) could not kindle such fires of vprores , and ciuill mischiefes , but that the flames ( like burning beacons ) armed her enemies with safetie , euen as they put them into feare . Her ragged troopes were more apt to betray themselues and their procéedings , then polliticke to betray the foe into any danger . With swift wings therefore did the newes of this inuasion fly abroad into all countries , and at last alighted before that glorious and most adored Empresse ( Money ) whom néerest it concerned , because all the arrowes of their enuie and intended malice were shot at her bosome . The drom of warre beate in her eare , not in the dead of night , when her glories and beauties were darkened and eclipsed , but when she was seated in the throne of all her pleasures ( which a whole world was rifled and trauailed ouer to maintaine in height and fulnesse ) when her pallate surfeited on the variety of dishes and delicacy of féeding , when her body shone brighter then the sunne it selfe , who ( in his lusty heate begot her ) strucke an amazement into those that beh●ld her , by the splendor of those maiesticall roabes which she wore : when musicke went into her eare in ten thousand seuerall shapes , when her walkes were perfumed , her sports varied euery hower , when her chéekes were dimpled with laughters at her iesters her Parasites , her Pandors , and all the rest of those seruile soothing Apes , that in pide colours waite vpon and shew trickes to sate the appetite of that Lord of flesh and bloud , the blacke Prince of the world , her husband . Then , euen then , in the full sea of all these iollities , pompes , and whorish ceremonies , the onely bewitchers of mankinde , came sayling in , the newes of a suddaine insurrection , and an vnexpected inuasion , by that common , fatall , and barbarous spoiler of so many kingdoms , infamous amongst al nations by that beggerly name of Pouerty . These newes ( vpon the first arriuall ) did no more moue the great Indian Empresse ( Money ) then the bleating of a shéepe terrifies the king of forrests ( the Lyon. ) Money was rich , strong in friends , held league with Princes , had whole countries at her becke , nations were her slaues , no people but did loue her . On the contrary side , Pouerty ( her enemy ) had small reuenues , fewer friends , a world of followers , but none of any reckoning , except a few Philosophers , Alchemists , &c. She held many townes , and was obeyed in most kingdomes , but how ? as théeues are obeyed by true men , for feare , and because they cannot otherwise choose , her owne strength therefore being so good , and her enemies fuller of spite then of power , she onely laughed at the thunder of her threates , and resolued that her pleasure should spread larger sailes . But her councell being prouident , carefull , and iealous of their owne estates , wisely considering the dangers that a weake enemy ( being desperate , and hauing little to loose ) may put the best fortefied kingdome to , & the most valiant nation did in the end , with one consent fall on their knées , most humbly intreating thier Soueraigne Mistresse to giue ouer her reuellings , maskes , and other Court-pleasures for a time , and that aswell for the safety of her owne royall person ( to take héede of them : for many plots were now , and had oftentimes bin laid ) as also for themselues , whose liues and liberties wholly depended on her , either to leuy present forces , which should méete this beggerly Monarch in the field , and so vtterly to driue her out of the kingdome , or else to giue the rich men of her Empire leaue to make strict and seuere lawes to take away the liues of that wretched & scattered people that follow Pouerty in these commotions , wheresoeuer or whensoeuer they take them medling in any of her wealthy dominions . These words brake forth with such lighning , that Money stampd for very anger , that so base an enemy should put her subiects into feare . Their vigilance awaked her , and like a good Prince that would loose her life rather then her subiects should perish , she began ( with the Eagle ) to shake her royall wings , and to be rouz'd out of her late golden slumbers , & securities , that lay vpon her like enchantments . To their requests she yéelded , and thereupon to fortifie her kingdome against all the shot of Villany & Vengeance , shee summoned those of her councell together , whom shee know to be most faithfull and most seruiceable in a busines of this nature , state & importance . Her councellors names were these . Councellors to Money . Couetousnesse . Parsimony . Deceipt . Prouidence . Monopoly . Violence . Vsury . Couetousnesse was an old wretched leane fac'd fellow , that seldome sléep'd : for his eyes ( though they were great , and suncke at least two inches into his head ) neuer stood still , but rolled vp and downe , expressing a very enuious longing gréedinesse to enioy euery thing that they looked vpon . He neuer pared his nailes , and being often asked the reason why , he alwaies answered , that he saued them for his heire , for béeing cut off , after hée himselfe was dead , they might be put to sundry good thrifty purposes , as to make hornes ( being thinly scraped ) for a Scriueners lanthorne to write by a nights , or to nocke arrowes , &c. Hée kept not so much as a Barber , but shaued his owne head and beard himselfe , and when it came to wey a pound , hée sold it to a Frenchman to stuffe tennis balles . Money ( his Soueraigne ) cared not so much for him , as he did for her , she could make him do any vile office how base soeuer ; but because he was saucy , and would often checke her for taking her pleasures , séeking to restraine her of her liberties , she hated him , and was neuer more merry then when one brought her newes once that Couetousnesse lay a dying . Yet was he well beloued af the best Citizens , and neuer rode through the city but he was staid , and feasted by many Aldermen , and wealthy Commoners , few Courtiers loued him heartily , but onely made vse of him , because he was great , and could do much with Money ( their empresse . ) Prouidence was but of meane birth , the ladder by which he climbd to such high fortunes , as to be a councellor to Money , being made by himselfe , much giuen to study , yet no great scholler , as desiring rather to be frée of the City , then to serue a long thréed-bare Prentiship in the Uniuersities . He is rarely séene in Minerals , and distillations , and will draw Aurum potabile , or fetch quick-siluer out of horse-dung , he will grow rich , and be in time the head warden of a company , though he were left by his friends but thrée shillings thrée pence stocke to set vp , such another he was as Whittington , a very cat shall raise him if he be set vpon● , He is the best that writes Almanackes in these times , and where the rest write whole Calenders of lies for bar● forty shillings a yéere , ( seruingmens wages ) he foreséeing what will happen , buies vp all the commodities of one or two Countries at one bargaine , when he knowes they will bee déere , and so makes vp his owne mouth , and for it , gets much fauour at the hands of Couetousnesse his elder brother . Parsimonie is kinsman to those two that go before , he is not vp yet : for he vseth to lie a bed till afternoone , onely to saue dinners , when he rises ( which will be presently ) the motion shall be shewen and interpreted to you . Monopoly is a very good man where he takes , that is to say , 9. maner of waies . Deceipt lookes a little a squint , yet is of déeper reach then any of the rest : for he doth oftentimes fetch ouer Couetousnesse himselfe . He is great in Lawyers bookes , and tradesmen not onely loue him , but their yongest wiues , thinke themselues highly happy , if at a running at Tilt , at a maske or a play at Court , or so ( as he oftē doth ) he will but voutchsafe to place them ( and the sports done ) he commonly sends them home lighted . He hath more followers then the 12. Péeres of France , he studies Machiauell , and hath a french face . Violence hath borne many great offices , and Money hath done much for him . He purchaseth lands daily : but looseth : mens hearts , some of the richer sort follow him & loue him : yet he cannot go thorough the stréetes , but the common people curse him , hee reades Law as men reade Hebrew ( backward ) and neuer makes one Lawe , but he breaks two . Of all men , he cannot abide a Iustice of Peace , yet oftentimes is hee séene at the Sessions : many of his Ancestors haue béene Traytors , and by that meanes were still cut off before they were old men , the Nobilitie hate him , he is a méere martiall man. Vsurie was the first that euer taught Money to commit incest with Gold and Siluer , her néerest kinsmen Brokers are now their Baudes , and kéepe the dores till the letchery of ten in the hundred be sated : he hath made many a man , but how ? to be damned , he is a great housekéeper , for thousands in the Cittie liue vpon him ▪ and would hang themselues but for his sauing them . There is no more conscience in him then in Tauerne faggots , yet yong gentlemen pray for him daily that he may be fetched quick to hell . He is an insatiable féeder : for a Scriuener and he will eate vp foure men at a breakefast , and picke them to the bare bones . He loues not a Preacher , because hee frights him out of his wits : for he neuer heares any of them talke to him but he thinkes himselfe damned . He hath no skill in Arithmeticke , but onely in the rule of Interest . He is the Diuels Tole-taker , and when he dies , lies buried with his ancestors in the widest vault of hell . These were the councellors whom Money assembled together , to consult vpon hers and their owne safeties , from the base assaults of their wild and desperate enemy : who being solemnely set in their due places and the Quéene of Riches her selfe beeing aduanced vp into her imperial chaire , Parsimonie ( who by this time was gotten vp and ready ) tooke vpon him to be speaker for all the rest . This Parsimonie is a nasty batcheller of fourescore , one that neuer went trussed ( to preuent hanging ) to which end he will not be at charges of a paire of garters ( though they were but woollen lists ) for feare of temptation , his breches once were veluet , when his great grandfather wore them , and thrée-piled , but the pox of any pile can be seene there now , vnlesse betwéene the clifts of his buttocks , to saue a pennie , hee will damne halfe his soule , hee weares cloathes long , and will sooner alter his religion ten times , then his doublet once , his hatte is like his head , of the old blocke , he buies no gloues but of a groat a paire , and hauing worne them two daies hee quarrels with the poore Glouer that they are too wide , or too ill stitched , & by base scolding and lorldly words gets his money againe , and the wearing of so much leather for nothing . He will be knowne by a paire of white pumpes some 16. or 20. yeares , onely by repairing their decaied complection with a péece of chalke . This whining Parsimonie ( that for a supper of 16. pence will budge & slip his necke out of the coller from his owne father ) and that vowes neuer to marry , because he will not spend so much as may kéepe a childe , stood vp so well as he could stand with his crinckling hammes , and knowing that it was high time for him to be stirre his ●tumps , thus shot his bolt after much stammering , coughing and hemming , silence béeing first cryed , which accordingly was giuen him . The Oration which Parsimonie made before his Empresse . O Sacred Money ! Queene of Kingdomes , Mistres ouer the mines of Gold and Siluer , Regent of the whole world : Goddesse of Courtiers , Patronesse of Schollers , Protectresse of Souldiers , Fortresse of Cittizens , & the onely comfort to Saylors . Me seemeth good and fit , ( brightest-facde Lady ) sithence that bold and saucie begger , with her pennurious sunne-burnt troopes , armed onely with short troncheons vnder their arme-pits , and most commonly walking in thred-bare Plimoth cloakes , haue made their impudent and contagious insurrection , that you ( at whose feete lie Crownes to tread vpon ) being Queene Mother of the west and east Indies , do presently giue ouer your needlesse expences and open houshkeeping in the Country , where your swarming enemies lye in ambushes to attach you vpon the least issuing forth , and betake your selfe to the close safetie of the Cittie , where your seame-rent and white bitten foes dare not ( within gun-shot approch , to be further sure of which , and least any spies should be sent to looke into the strength and wealth of that your principall and most secure fortresse , we haue ordeined that through euery ward ( for your happie safetie , and their vtter terrifying ) there be erected one sound , sufficient , and well painted whipping poste , the very sight of which wil not only scarre them , worse then the scowting face of a Serieant being seen peeping through a red lettice , frights a yong gallant , but also in time driue the whole band of Tatterdemalions from poste to piller . Dixi. No sooner was Dixi sounded , but the maine points of this Parsimonions oration , came backe againe like an eccho from all the rest of the voices there present . All their breath blew one way , all their councels were directed and went only by this compasse . Money weighing ( in the vpright scales of her iudgement ) their wise and thirsty opinions , found them not halfe a graine too light , and therefore very royally y●elded to whatsoeuer they consulted vpon , whereupon sodaine order was giuen , and all speedy preparation made for the entertainment and receiuing of Money into the Citie , whose presence all the Cittizens day and night thirsted to behold . To set downe all the deuices , the intended merriments , the sh●wes , the ceremonies , the diligence of workemen for standings and scaffoldings , the inexplicable ioy of Poets , who did nothing but pen encomious Gratulatorie to bid her welcome , drinking healths in rich malago to the honour of her , and their mistresses , ( the nine Muses ) and on the other side , to point to the life , the seuerall glad faces , gestures and action of the players , who had pined for her absence a long and tedious vacation : or to t 〈◊〉 what dressing vp of howses there were , by all the neate dames and Ladies within the fréedome , what starching of ruffes , what poaking , wha● stiffning of falles , what painting of chéekes & lips , as if they had béene y● two leaued gates of a new chosē Alderman , are able ( if they were set down at large ) to adde a third volume to our English Chronicles . Time at length turned vp his Glasse , and the Holliday ( so gapingly looked for ( was come . Diuisum imperium cum Ioue , Nummus habet , had Ioue béen hidden to dinner to the Guyld hall on Simon and Iudes day , he could not haue had more welcomes giuen him then Money had . Oh! with what iocund hearts did the Cittizens receiue her ? The Mercers swore by their maydenhead , that all their polliticke pent-houses should bee clothed in cloth of siluer , & so they were . The silkemen guarded their very posts with gold lace , and thereupon euer since , the fashion of larding suites with so much lace is come vp : But aboue all , the Company of the Goldsmiths receiued her with the greatest honour , and she againe to pay their loues home , did as much or more honour them : for they spread all their stalles with gréene cotten , and so adorned their shoppes , that they looked like a spring garden , in which grew flowers of gold , set in such order , & comely equipage , it would haue rauished any poore mans eie to behold them . Here ( in the very midst of the rowe ) she allighted from her Chariot , staid a prety space , & enriched both the shopkéepers and their wiues with her presence , cheapning of 2. or 3. of them some of their fairest iewels , the beautie of their faces béeing of farre richer value then the costliest iewels there , and more worth ( beeing rightly estimated ) then the best stone in the whole rowe , and by this her staying at their stalles , heaped on their heads this grace besides . All her chosen Courtiers came hereby acquainted with their delicate wiues , and euer after their husbands had of them perpetuall custome . At last mounting againe into her Chariot she rode on : being as richly attended as her selfe was glorious , Desert and Learning ran by her side as her footemē , Bounty guided the horses that drew her , Lust , Epicurisme , Pride , and Follie , were 4. Querries of the Stable , and had much adoe to leade a goodly-coloured fatte beast called Sensualitie , that ( for more state ) went emptie by , Money neuer riding on the backe of that spotted Panther , but onely for speede and to ride away . Beautie , Honestie , Youth and Pleasure , came in a Caroach behinde her , as her wayting women . Old Age ( her Treasurer ) rode bare-headed before her : Thrift carried the priuie purse : Riot ( a smooth-fac'd Ganimed ) slept in her lap , whose chéeke she would so often ki●●e , that he grew proud and carelesse of her fauours . What a world it was to see men ( whose backe bones were almost growne compasse , because their eies should still be fixed vppon their graues ) running more gréedily after her , then after Physitions , to take off those diseases that hang most spitefully vpon Age. Some ran out of the Church to sée her , with greater deuotion following her all the way that she went , then the former deitie they worshipped . Young men did onely cast a glaunce at her , and staid not long in her ●●ght , other women pleased them better , if they we●e young Courtiers , they had their Mistresses , if Merchants men , their maisters maides , that go fine by weight and measure , imitating in darke corners , their maisters profession : if Seruingmen , the waiting wenches doe commonly fit them a peniworth , in this state Magnificence and royalty this Empresse arriues in the very heart of the City , a strong guard being planted about her , Trenches , Bulwarkes and Fortifications ( inuincible as walles of Iron ) being cast , raised vp , and manned against the assaults of her tottred enemies , who brake like so many wilde Irish , and are left without the Citie ▪ onely to rub their backes against the walles . Presently ( for more defence ) were all the gates shut , the Porcullises let downe , double lockes put to making , thicke barres to hammering , and all the subtilties which the wit of man could possibly find out , were put in practise to kéepe Money safe within the City . To second which prouident courses proclamations went presently forth to banish all those that were like to be of Pouerties company , for feare they should reuolt in time of most néede , wherupon many thousands , with bagge and baggage , were compelled to leaue the citie , and cling onely to the Suburbs . In whose roomes Money entertaines rich strangers of al nations , hauing those ( that should be ) these she puts into office , and traines them vp for Soldiers , to be néerest about her , because shee sées they come well prouided and armed out of forraine countries : and therefore dares trust their diligence against those her halfe-shirted enemies , the rather because they cannot abide to sée a begger amongst them , especially if he be of their owne nation . The fires of this dissention growing hotter and hotter on both sides , were more likely to flame more fiercely then to be quenched by the aproach of Pouerty and her ragged regiments , who by her scoutes vnderstanding that the golden Idoll ( which so many fooles knéele to ) was carryed and kept close within the walles of the City , being as the Pollodium was to Troy , thither she marches with all spéed , but perceiuing all places of entrance barred vp , she pitcheth her tents round about the Suburbs , planteth her artilery against the walles , leuelleth her great ordnance vpon the very wickets of the City gates , and by the sound of trumpet , did often summon Money to appeare in her likenesse , and not to hide her proud & cowardly head . Parlies were nine or ten times called on the Forreners part that dwelt without , but no answere returned from those that slept within the Frée-dome . Which scornefull disdaine being taken in snuffe by the poore snakes ( who already began to shiuer with cold ) Pouertie , ( their Ringleader ) quickned the chilnesse of ther frozen spirits , by the heate of a braue resolution newly kindled in her owne bloud : for calling Scatter-good her owne Herald , that still rides before her , when any tempest of warre is towards , him she chargeth vpon his life and allegiance , to go to the walles , and boldly to throw in her name , a proud defiance in the very face of Money , telling her , that for the safety of liues ( which ly in the ballance of warre ) she desires that two onely may arbitrate the quarrell in a Monarchy , and that therefore Pouerty challengeth Money to leaue the City if she dare , and hand to hand to grapple with her . Scatter-good ( because he was knowne to be an Herald ) was admitted to haue a sight of Money , and vpon first presenting himselfe , very stoutly deliuered his Ladies defiance . Money was no●ed to change colour , and to looke excéeding pale , all the while the challenge was breathing forth , either for very anger , or extreame feare , but those that knew her qualities swore it was with anger , and the conclusion iustified their oath , for on a soddaine shaking her golden tresses with a maiesticall brauery , she defied that base defiance in regard the sender was of slauish and beggerly condition . Her selfe being high-borne , of bloud royall , of Noble discent , the other a penurious fugitiue , a méere canting Mort , traytor to all kingdomes , corrupter to all learning , & mother of none but such as are ●urdensome to euery Common-wealth . They both standing therefore vpon so vnequall bases , Money may by the law of Armes , refuse the combat , and in plaine tearmes did so , disdaining to defile her glorious hands vpon so wretched and infamous an enemy , but with a full oath swore and vowed to weary Pouerty and all her lank-bellied army , by driuing them quite from the gates of the City , or else to hold her and them play within so long , till she and her suncke-eyed company , famish and dye vnder the walles . And for that purpose , albeit she her selfe swim in pleasures and in plenty , and though the earth opens her wombe liberally , powring forth her blessing to all thankfull creatures , yet will she ( onely to vndo them and punish their carkases with pennury and famine , send her precepts into euery shire , to all rich Farmers , Land-lords , and Graziers , that they ( by exprrsse commandement from her and her Lords , vpon their allegiance and loue they owe to Money , and as they are her slaues , vas●●iles and subiects , cause hard times to be made , onely to pinch the poore Hungarians , and to disable their sallow facd Empresse from once approaching the walles . These words she vttred with indignation , and high colour in her chéekes , and hauing eased the greatnesse of her wrath , commanded the messenger away : yet ere he went ( to shew that a true Prince when he wrastleth hardest with his owne passions , should be carefull still of his renowne , fame and honours , she bestowed a golden chaine on Scatter-good , which Pouerty tooke from him , as scorning to sée any fauours ( giuen by her enemy ) worne by any of her subiects , especially her housholde seruants . Scarce was the Herald turnd out at the Citty gates , but the glorious mother of Plenty , checking her owne great spirit , for giuing her enemy so much cause to triumph ouer her as to proclaime her a coward , was halfe mad with rage at her owne folly , and in that heate of bloud , charged her droms to strike vp , her colours to be spread , her armies to be put in array , and the gates of the City to be set wide open for ( in a brauado ) she vowed to issue forth , and bid battaile to the beggerly Tartarians that beleagerd her . But her councel ( wiser then so ) kept her in perforce , doubling the guards about her , and inchaunting her eare with all the bewitched tunes of musicke to cast her into a slumber till these stormes in her were at quiet , which if they had not done , but had pitched the field , as she once determined , it is ▪ by many probabilities ) thought , that Pouerty had had a great hand ouer her , and would haue put her to the worst . They therefore locked her vp , as it were by Iron force , compelling her against her frée-borne nature and condition , to be directed by them , and to lye close for a time , till noble aduantage should call her into action : and making present vse of her owne former spéeches , a common councell was called : where by the generall head it was ordered that Hard-heartednesse should haue the keyes of the City in kéeping , his office and charge being , not to suffer Money to goe out of the gates , though she her selfe in proper person commanded it , and was further ordained that precepts should presently be drawne , into all Shires , Countries and Cities . The tenor of which precepts followeth . By the Queene of Gold and Siluer . TO all and Singular our Shires , Countries , Cities , Corporations , Townes , Villages Hamblets , &c. by what name or title soeuer , to whom these presents shall come , and to all you our obedient Subiects , Slaues and Vassailes , commonly stiled by the names of Money-mongers , viz. rich Farmers , yong Land-lords , Engrossers , Graziers , Forestallers , Hucksters Haglers , &c. with all the residue of our industrious , hearty & louing people , in all or any of these our shires or places formerly recited , either now resident , or at any time or times hereafter to be resident , greeting . These are to will and require you vpon especial and expresse commandement deliuered in our owne person , and as you will answere the contrary at your vtmost perrils . First that you ( the said rich Farmers ) by your best power , meanes , sleights , pollicies , by-waies , and thrifty endeuours , cast all the nets you can , to get all manner of graine that growes within your reach , and being so gotten to aduance , raise , and heighthen the prices of them , worke vpon the least inch of aduantage , make vse of all seasons , hot , cold , wet , dry , foule or faire , in one rainy weeke your wheate may swell from foure shillings the bushell , to six shillings , seuen shillings , nay eight shillings . Sweepe whole markets before you , as you passe through one towne , if you finde the corne ( like mens consciences , and womens honesties ) low-prized , & sell the same in other townes when the price is enhanced . Let the times be deere , though the grounds be fruitfull , and the Markets kept empty though your barnes ( like Cormorants bellies ) breake their butten-holes , and rather then any of Pouerties soldiers , who now range vp and downe the kingdome , besieging our Cities , & threatning the confusion , spoile and dishonour both of you and vs , should haue bread to relieue them . I charge you all vpon your allegiance , to hoord vp your corne till it be musty , and then bring it forth to infect these needy Barbarians , that the rot , scuruy , or some other infectious pestilent disease , may ●un through the most part of their enfeebled army : Ori● I , who may command , may perswade you , let mice and rats rather bee feast●d by you , and fare well in your garners , then the least and weakest amongst Pouerties starued infantery , should get but one mout●full , let them leape at crusts , it shall be sport enough for vs and our wealthy subiects about vs , to laugh at them whilest they nibble at the baite , and yet be choaked with the hooke . Next , we will and command , that you the young Land-lords , who haue cause to go dancing to Church after your old rotten fathers funerals , with all might & main stretch your rents , til the heart strings of those that dwell in them be ready to cracke in sunder . Racke your poore neighbours , call in old leases , and turne out old tenants , those which your forefathers haue suffered quietly to enioy their liuings , and thereby to raise fat commodities to themselues , and begger families : Change you their coppy , cancell their old euidences , race out all workes of charity , vndoe them in a minute , that haue stood the stormes of many an Age , make the most of your riches , and the least of such poore snakes . When you let your land , carry many e●es in your head , looke into euery acre , into euery bush , euery ditch , euery turfe , wey euery blade of grasse to the full , that those who take it , may saue nothing by it , no not so much as shall keepe a black-bird , or a sparrow , turne forty pence an acre , into forty shillings , and laugh at the simplicity of your forefathers , make bitter iests vpon your dead Gaffers , now you are made gentlemen of the first head , though it be by their digging in muck-hils , & in your Queanes company pittie the capacity of the kerzy stockingd VVhoresons , for not hauing so much wit to raise profit as you their sonnes haue , nor had euer the meanes to spend it so fast . Thirdly our high pleasure is , that all you Engrosers of what name soeuer , buy vp the prime and pride of all commodities , that done , keepe them in your hands , to cause a dearth , and in the time of deerenes , marke them with what price you list . First and principally , I charge you , as you loue me , and for my only sake , who haue euer beene good Lady to you all , that in times of plenty you transport your corne , butter , cheese and all needfull commoditiess into other countries , of purpose to famish and impouerish these hated whining wretches , that lye vpon the hands of your Owne . Hire ware-houses , Vaults vnder ground , and cellers in the City , and in them imprison all necessary prouision for the belly , till the long nailes of famine breake open the dores , but suffer not you those treasured victuals , to haue their free liberties till you may make what prey you please of the buyers and cheapners . At which time I will prepare a certaine people that shall giue you your owne asking , and buy vp all you bring by the great , who shall afterwards sell it deerer then it was bought , by three parts , of purpose to choake this starueling scallion-eaters , whose breath is stinking in my nosthrils , and able to infect a quarter of the world . The people whom thus I promise to haue in a readines ▪ are well knowne what they are , some call them Huksters or Haglers , but they are to me as honest Purueyers and Takers , and these politicke smooth faced Harpyes , shall out of a dearth raise a second deerenesse . These and such like omitting my precepts , to Bakers , whose vpright dealing is not now to be weied , no , nor stood vpon , are the effects of my pleasure , which on your allegiance to me your Empresse , I strictly command you to obserue and put in practise . No sooner was this precept drawne , but it went post into the country , no sooner was it read there ▪ but the world was new moulded , yet some say it neuer looked with a more ill-fauoured face . The Farmers clapt their hands , 〈◊〉 went vp and downe shrugging their shoulders , Land-lords set all the Scriueners in the country to worke to draw leases , conueiances , defeisances , and I know not what , in thrée market daies , dearth was made Clearke of the maket , the rich Curmudgeons made as though they were sorry , but the poore Husbandman looked heauily , his wife wrang her hands his children pined , his hyndes grumbled , his leane ouer-wrought Iades bit on the bridle . They , who were in fauour with Money , and were on her si●e sp●d wel enough but Pouerties people were driuen to the wal , or rather downe into the kennell : for corne skipt from foure to ten shillings a bushell , from ten to twelue shillings , stones of boose began to be pretious , and for their price had beene w●●re in rings but that the stone cutter spoiled them in the grinding . Mutten grew to be doere , two crownes a buttocke of pee●● , and halfe a crowne a wholesome breast of mutton , euery thing ( to say truth ) riz , except desert and honesty , & they could and nothing to rise by . Pouerty was somewhat grieued , ( but little dismayed ) at these tyranous , Godlesse and base procéedings of her enemy , because she herselfe and most of her army , haue béene old Sernitors to the warres , and béen familiarly acquainted with Emptinesse and Necessity , casting therefore all her troopes into seuerall rings , she went from one to one , and in the middest of each , councelled them all not to be disheartened , but with her to endure what miseries soeuer , sithente she would venture formost and fardest in any danger that could come vpon them . She told them by way of encouragement , that where as Money ( their daring enemy ) brags that she is the daughter to the Sun , and Quéene of both the Indies . It is not so : for she is but of base birth bred , and begotten onely of the earth , whom she cannot deny to be her mother : and albeit it cannot be gainsayed , but that by her gripping of riches into her hands , she is owner of many faire buildings , parkes , forrests , &c. Yet doth she oftentimes so farre forget her high birth , ( whereof shee vainly boasteth and those beauties of which a company of old Misers , Churles , & penny-fathers are with dotage enamoured , that now and then ( like a base common harlot ) she will lye with a Cobler , a Car-man , a Collier , nay with the Diuels owne sonne and heire , a very damned broker , with these will she ly whole yeares together , they shall handle her , embrace her , abuse her and vse her body after any villainous manner to satisfie their insatiable lust , whereas on the contrary part , quoth she , I that am your leader , famous ouer all the world , by my name and stile of Pouerty , vnder whose enfignes , full of rents , as tokens of seruice and honour , you are all now come to fight , am well known to be a Princesse , neither so dangerous nor so base as Money shewes herselfe to be . Money makes all seruice done to her a very bondage in them that do it : those whom she fanours most , are her onely slaues ; but Pouerty giues all her subiects liberty to range whither they list , to speake what they list , and to do what they list , her easist impositions are burdens , but the burdens which I throw vpon any , grow light by being bor●e . Who hath béene the Foundresse of Hospitals but I ? who hath brought vp Charity but I ? am not I the mother of Almes-doedes , and the onely nurse of Deuotion ? do not I inspire Poets with those sacred raptures that bind men , how dull and brutish soeuer , to listen to their powerfull charmes , and so to become regular ? doe not I sharpen their inuention , and put life into their verse ? And whereas Money vaunts and beares her head high , by reason of her glorious and gallant troops that attend her , you all know , and the whole world can witnes with you , that Kings , Lords , Knights , Gentlemen , Aldermen , with infinite others that were her deerest and wantonnest minions , haue vtterly forsaken her and her lasciuious pleasures , onely to liue with Pouerty ( your Quéene ) though now she be a little deiected in the eye of the world , though not in her owne worth . Thus she spake , and her spéeches kindled such fi●es of resolution in the hearts of her soldiers , that the Allarum was strucke vp , Ordnance planted for Batterie , sealing Ladders made ready , and all the instruments of terrour and death put in tune , which were set to be played vpon at the assault of a Cittie . They that kept their dennes like Foxes in their holes , slept not , hearing such thundring : but armed themselues with as braue resolution to defend , as the other had to inuade . It was excellent musicke ( considering how many discords there were ) to heare how euery particular regiment in Pouerties Camp , threatned to plague the Gold-finches of the Cittie , and to pluck their feathers , if euer they made a breach . Taylors swore to tickle the Mercers , & measure out their Sattins & velvets without a yard before their faces , when the prowdest of them all should not dare to say Bo to a Taylors Goose. Shoomakers , had a spite to none but the rich Curriers , and swore with their very awle , to flea off their skins ( and the Tanners ) ouer their eares , like old d●ad rabbets . Euery souldier prickt downe one Goldsmiths name or another , or else the signe in stead of the name , as the Goate , the Vnicorne , the Bull , the Hart. &c. swearing damnable oathes to pisse in nothing but siluer , in méers scorne , because he had oftentimes walked by a stall , when his teeth hath watred at the golden bits lying there : yet could not so much as licke his lips after them . There was one little dwarfish Cobler with a bald pate , and a nose indented like a scotch saddle , who tooke bread and salt , and praid God it might be his last , if he ran not ouer all the fine dames that withstoode him , in blacke reuenge that hee neuer had their custome in his shop , because it could neuer be found out or séene , that any of them did euer treade her shooe awry . And thus as they without shot their terrible threatnings into the aire , so did those within , laugh to thinke how they should domineere ouer the shake-rags , if the warres might but cease . All this while were trenches cast vp of a great height by the Poldauies to saue them from shot of the walles , whilst Pouerties Pioners had digd at least a quarter of a mile vnder the earth , and the mine with gun powder to blow vp one quarter of the Cittie : But this béeing quickly descryed , was as spéedily preuented by a countermine , so that all that labour tooke not such fire as was expected : yet went the Artillerie off on both sides , wilde fire flew from one to another , like squibs when Doctor Faustus goes to the diuell , arrowes flew faster then they did at a catte in a basket , whē Prince Arthur , or the Duke of Shordich strucke vp the drumme in the field , many bullets were spent , but no breach into Monies quarters could be made : they that fought vnder her cullers were very wary , polliticke strong , and valiant , yet would they not venture forth but on great aduantages , because they had somthing to loose , but Pouerties wild Bandetti , were desperate , carelesse of danger , gréedy of spoile , and durst haue torne the diuell out of his skinne to haue had their willes of Money , but Night ( like a surly constable ) commanding them to depart in peace , and to put vp their tooles . This assault ( which was the first ) gaue ouer , euery Captaine retyring to his place , the Desperueines ( on Pouerties side ) comming off at this time with the most losse . Few attempts were after made to any purpose : onely certain yong prodigall Heires , who ( as voluntaries ) maintained themselues in seruice vnder Money , were appointed to be light-horsemen for discouery of the enemies forces ( as she lay incamped ) who now and then in a few light skirmishes had the honour to issue forth , and to set vpon the Assailants that beleagured the Cittie : but Pouertie still draue them either in to their owne shame , or else had them in execution ( euen in despight of the Cittie forces ) and put them euer to the worst . The Gold-beaters ( who knew themselues on a sure ground within the walles ) lingred of purpose , and would neuer bring it to a battaile , onely to wearie the aduersarie , whom they meant to vndoe by delay , because she could not hold out long for want of victuals . They within cared not though ten thousand diuels amongst them , so Money ( their mistresse ) whom they worshipped as a God , would not leaue their company , and the rascoll Déere that ( without the walles ) were euery howre hunted out of breath , vowed to eate vp one another , before they would raise the Seige , and be hanged vp like Dogs ( at the C●ttie gates ) for they were now accounted no better then dogs , but they would haue their peniworths out of Money for a number of wrōgs which by her meanes they had endured , when she hath seene them and their children ready to starue , yet scornd to reléeue their necessities . Thus both their stomacks beeing great , and aswell the defendants as the assailents resolutely confirmed to sta●d vpon their guard , and to stay the vtmost of any miserie that could waite vppon a lingring warre ▪ behold the rich-plumde estridges , who had most fethers on their backes , and least cause to murmure , began to mutinie amongst themselues , the imprisoning of Money ( their sole soueraigne ) so close within stony battlements , did not shew well : they were loyal● subiects to her & would free both her & themselues , vnlesse she might vse her sports and princ●ly pleasures as she had wont Mercers had their shops musty , and their silkes moldie for want of customers , Goldsmiths had t●eir plate hid in cellors , where it lay most richly , but looked more pittifully and with worse cullour , then prisoners lying in the hole . Haberdashers had more hats then they could finde heads to weare them , if they had béene such arrant blockes themselues to haue giuen their wares away , trades had no doings , all the men were out of heart by beeing kept in , and all the women ready to be spoyled for want of walking to th●ir Gardens : Euerie one spent & spent , but who tasted the sweetenes ? In stead of selling their wares , they plyed nothing now but getting of children , and scowring of péeces . In stead of what doe you lacke ? was heard Arme , Arme , Arme. This géere was to be looked into , and therefore they desi●ed their gratious Empresse ( Money ) not to lye lasing thus in a chamber , but either that she would be more stirring , that they ( her Subiects might haue better stirrings too , and ( opening the Cittie gates ) to fight it out brauely , or else they vowed there were at least ten thousand ( whose names stood now in her Muster booke ) that shortly if this world lasted , would shut vp their dores , shew her a faire paire of héeles , and from her fly into the hands of Pouertie their enemie . Upon the necke of this , came likewise a supplication from certaine troopes of Uintners without the Barres , Inkéepers , common Uictuallers and such like , who plaid y● iackes on both sides , and were indéede Neuters , a linsey-wolsey people , that tooke no part , but stood indifferent betwéene Money , and Pouerty , the tenor of which petition presents it selfe thus to the world . The pittifull Petition of Vintners , Victuallers , Inkeepers , &c. without the Barres : To the great Empresse of old mens harts , and yong mens pleasures , yclipped Money . HVmbly sueth to you● currant Excellency , your vncustom'd drooping Suppliants , the Vintners , and Innekeepers , and others of the Ale-draperie , that are bard out of the Cittie : Whereas through the extreame deadnesse of time and terme , we all run backward in our condition , hauing great rents to pay , and greater scores , which will neuer bee paid , guests now being glad if they can make vs take chalke for cheese , our wines lying dead vpon our hands , and complaining for want of good doings : we our selues making many signes to passengers , but few comming at vs , and hanging vp new bushes , yet hauing onely beggers hansell , trimming our roomes for no better men then Barbers and Taylors , a rapier scarce beeing seene in a veluet scabert within 40. yards of our precincts . — Quis talia fando , Myrmidonum , Dolopumi●e , aut duri miles Vlissi Temperet a lach●imis ! O Neither the Mermaide , no● the Dolphin , not he at mile-end greene , can when he list be in good temper when he lackes his mistres ( that is to say Money . ) May it therefore please thee ( O thou pay-mistresse to all the fidlers that should haunt our howses , if thou wouldest put them in tune ) to send ( at least ) some of thy Harpers to sound their nine-penie musicke in our eares , but we rather humbly beg it , that thou wouldest enrich vs with thy Angellike-presence , be no longer percullized vp in the Citie , visit the subburbes , against thy comming all her cawseies shall be paued & made euen , how broken soeuer her conscience be left and vnmended . Our houses stand emptie , as if the plague were in them , onely for want of thee , our Drawers cannot be drawne to any goodnesse , nor our Hostlers to deale honestly with horse or man , onely by reason of thee : Issue therefore forth amongst good fellows , that will sooner fight for thee , then those snudges & miserable cormorants that now feede vpon thee . This lamentable supplication ( together with the feare of a mutiny amongst her soldiers ) so wrought with the Empresse , that ( cleane against the perswasion of her councell ) she determined to leaue the Cittie , and to march into the field : hereupon her Army Royall was set in order , to the intent she might take a full view of all her Colonels , Generals , Captaines and men of warre . She went from squadron to squadron , not so much delighting her owne eies with beholding so many thousands ready to fight in her defence , as they were gréedy to enioy her presence , which with braue encouragement lifted vp the deadest spirit , all swore to follow her , none to leaue her , or if any did , a curse was laid vpon him to die a begger . The first regiment consisted of Courtiers , some of them being Lords ( who came very well prouided ) some Knights , ( but most of the valiant knights that were true soldiers indéed , serued in the other armie ( Councellors at Law gaue directions where to encampe , what ground was best to defend themselues and annoy the foe , by what trickes and stratagems to circumuent her , how to leade the Troopes on , how to come off , and by plaine demonstration shewed how easie it was to put Pouertie to her shifts , and to haue her & her troopes in execution , if Money would be pleased to say the word , and for that purpose they made orations to set the armies together by the eares , which accordingly tooke effect , Attorneys were very busie , and serued as Clarkes to the Bandes , running vp and downe from one rancke to another expressing a kinde of puzled and dizzie distraction in all their businesses . But that which made the best shew of all , was a lane of Brokers , who handled their Pieces passing well , & were old dog at a marke , they had skill in any weapon , Musket , Caliuer , Petronel , Harguibusse , a Crock , Pollax , Holbert , Browne-hill , Pike , Dimilance , sword , Bow and arrowes , nothing came amisse to them , and which was most strange they fought by the Booke , at a breach none so forward as they , they had beene at the ransacking of many a house , and would vndertake to vndoe all the troopes that were led by Pouertie . These Brokers were armed with thrumd cappes , ( but they should haue had Murrions ) and those they wore to keepe their wits from taking cold : for they had all diuellish heads , and were suited in sparke of veluet Iackets with out sleeues , tuft taffatie bréeches , close to them like Irish Stroozes , Sattin doublets with sagging bellies , as if ●agpuddins had bumbasted them , and huge dutch Aldermens sleeues , armed strongly with back péeces of canuas , dugeon daggers instead of Pistols hanging by their sides , fine p●●d silke stockens on their legs , tyed vp smoothly with caddis garters , all which had béene taken as spoiles from the other Armie . The Inuader vnderstanding that the quarrell would be decided in a pitcht field , and that crackt crownes would be both giuen and taken on either side , grew excéeding ioyfull : and therefore calling for Sharker ( one of her boldest & wittiest Heralds ) him she sent to Money , to know where the Rendeuous should be made for both armies to meete in , and what péece of ground should be best famous to posterities by their battaile . Money tooke aduice vpon this , most of her old beaten Captaines , laboured earnestly to haue it at Bagshot , but all the gallants cryed baw waw at him that named Bagshot , so that for a quarter of an hower , none could be heard to speake , there was such a Baw wawing . The Herald Sharker , in name of his Mistresse , who sent him , requested it might be at beggers bush . But euery soldier swore that was a lowzy place , and so for a day or two , it rested vncertaine and vndetermined . In which Interim , a murmuring went vp and downe that not onely Pouerty had maintained this terrible Siege against the City , but that Dearth also , Famine and the Plague , were lately ioyned with the same Army , besides many strange and incurable diseases were crept into the camp , that followed Money : for Ryot her minion , was almost spent , and lay in a consumption . A hundred in a company were drowned in one night in French bowles : fiue times as many more were tormented with a terrible gnawing about their consciences . All the Usurers in the Army had hung themselues in chaines , within lesse then three howers , and all the Brokers , being their Bastards , went crying vp and downe , The Diuell , the Diuell , and thereupon because they should not disquiet the rest of the Soldiers , they were fetched away . These and such other vnexpected mischifes , put Money into many feares , doubts and distractions , so that she inwardly wished that these vnlucky warres had either neuer béene begun , or else that they were well ended ▪ by the conclusion , if it might be , of some honourable peace . And as these stormes of misery fell upon Money and her troopes , so was the army of Pouerty plagued as much , or more on the other side : nothing could be heard amongst the Souldiers but cries , complaints , cursings , blasphemies , Oathes , and ten thousand other blacke and damned spirits , which euer hawnted them and their Generall herselfe . Want pinched them in the day , and wildnesse and rage kept them waking and raueing all the night . Their soules were desperate , their bodies consumed , they were weary of their liues , yet compelled to liue for furder miseries , and nothing did comfort them but a foolish hope they had to be reuenged vpon Money . So that so many plagues , so many diseases , so many troubles and inconueniencies following both the armies ( by meanes of the tedious Siege ) a perpetuall truce , league and confederacy was confirmed by Money and Pouerty , and the councellors on either part : that in euery Kingdome , euery Shire , and euery City , the one should haue as much to doe as the other : that Pouerties subiects should be euer in a redinesse ( as the Switzers are for pay ) to fight for Money , if she craued their aid , & that Money againe should help them whensoeuer they did néede : and that sithence they were two Nations so mighty and so mingled together , and so dispersed into all parts of the world , that it was impossible to seuer them . A 〈…〉 presently enacted , that Fortune should no longer bee blinde , but that all the Doctors and Surgeons should by waters , and other 〈◊〉 helpe her to eies , that she might see those vpon whom shee bestowes her blessings , because fooles are serued at her doale with riches , which they know not how to vse , & wise men are sent away like beggers from a misers gate with empty wallets . The Armies hereupon brake vp , the Siege raised , the Citty gates set wide open . Shop keepers fel●●● their old , What doe you lacke : The rich men feast one another ( as they were w●nt ) and the poore were kept poore 〈◊〉 in pollicy , because they should doe no more hurt . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A20082-e360 〈◊〉 Eliza●eth● death . King Iames his Coronation . * A Booke so called , written by the Author , describing the horror of the Plague in 1602 , when there dyed 30578. of that disease . King of England , and Christierne King of Denmarke . Notes for div A20082-e700 The maner how Bank●uptisme is entertained , and at what Gate . Solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris . Misery makes men cunning . His qualities . His disguises . His policy . Against forced Mariages . Against cruell Creditors . Against vnconsionable Maisters . 2700 and odde yee●es since London was first builded by B●ute . Against want of places for Buriall in extremity of sicknes . 1602. Against want of prouision for those that dye in the fields . The Conclusion . Notes for div A20082-e7440 The miseres that a Plague brings to Men. Play-houses stand empty . Poets walke in me●ancholy . Ne● dant proceres ●eque histriones . Ignauum corrumpunt otia corpus . The Beares are hardly put downe . Paris garden an Image of hell . Poore men cōtending with rich men , are as dog● fighting with Beares . Innocence punished . No slaue like the soothing vp of fooles in their vices . Nulla est sincera ●ai●●ta● . Excellence of Histories . Et quae mox imitêre legas . Discitur hinc nullos mer●tis obsifiere casus . Discitur hinc quantum pau● Pertas sobre● possit . A Commotion . O quantum cogit egestus VVhat vices are companions ( for the most part ) with pouerty . The quarrel betweene money and pouerty . Diuitis hoc viti●●● e●t auri . Ciuell wa●res of Fraunce . Diuision of the two Houses . Low country warres . The chiefe Cities of Christendome . The Princes that raise these warres . Pouerty & her Army . Mony and her Army . Auri sacra ●ames quid non mortalia cog●s Pectora . Poore men fall not first out with the rich , but the rich with them . Rich men hate poore men . The poore may begge . O nosiri infami● 〈◊〉 . Onites Diomedi● Equi Eusidis ●ra . Clementes . Sors vbi pe●●i●● ri●um sub pedibus timor est . Qui nil potest sperare desperet nihil . Money hard to be spoken with . Open warre . Pouerties speech to her councell . The villany of Bank-routes . Dum ciuitas erit , pauperes er unt . Pouertie brings any man on his knees . Discontent described . A●●●ic●●●ga●dereget . Despaire . Hunger . Sloth . Repining . Industry . Beggery . Misery . A presse for soldier● to serue Pouerty . Low country soldiers come from thence to fight vnder Pouerty here . Hals of euery company furnish men on both sides . Carelesnesse Learning held ●n contempt . Yonger brothers . Old Seruingmen the gaurd to Pouerty . Banckrowtes come to Pourty but as spies . Masters vndon by seruants , serue in the Rareward . Poore Attorneys . Pandors euer poore . Baudes seldom rich . Notes for div A20082-e11580 The life of a sensuall man. Riches make men cowards . Councellors to Money . Couetousnesse Couetous men are slaues to that which is a slaue to them . Prouidence . Parsimonie . Monopoly . Deceipt hath many great friends in the Cittie . Violence . Might ouercomes right . Nullum violentum perpetuum . Vsurie . A Broker is an V●●●ers Baude . Parsimony . Praises of Money . 〈…〉 mana 〈…〉 . paren● . Money entertayned into the Citty . And by whom● Mercers . Silkemen . Goldsmiths . Hee is wise enough that hath wealth enough . Any thing to be had for money . Old men most greedy of mony when money & they are vpon pa●ting for euer . Some for money will sell religion . Riches are yong mens Har●ots . How carefull rich men are of their wealth . Strangers . Pouerty layes siege to the City . Rich men are deafe , and cannot heare poore mens cries . Scatter good ●ent to mony . They that haue nothing en●y 〈◊〉 that are wealthy . Money giues men courage . How scarcity of victuals gro●●● in the Land. Couetousnesse of ●●ch Farmers makes the country poore , and the people to pine . How corne riseth in prise , & maketh deere the markets . Cruelty of Land-lords in ●acking of 〈◊〉 is the vndoing of many ●ousholders . How 〈◊〉 & chee●e grow deere . Hagglers . Bakers . Euery man pin ▪ 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 . Pouerty comforteth her followers . Paupertatemque ferendo , ●ffe●ere le●em nec iniqua mente ferendo . Et laris et sundi paupertas mapulet a●dax vt versus face . em . No trade loues one another . The Citty besi●ged . Tutum carpit inanis Iter Prodigall heirs meete soonest with Pouerty . Dead termes & times that are cold in doings pinch the rich as well as ●he poore . A supplication from the inhabitants of the Suburbs . Mony takes a view of all her army . Lords , Knights , Lawyers . Aturnies . Brokers come well armde . Famine and the plague come along with Pouerty to besiege the City . Nulla salus b●ll● pacem to poscimus omnes . A Truce . The Siege is raised .