London and the countrey carbonadoed and quartred into seuerall characters. By D. Lupton Lupton, Donald, d. 1676. 1632 Approx. 86 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 79 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2005-03 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A06473 STC 16944 ESTC S108946 99844598 99844598 9427 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A06473) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 9427) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 847:08) London and the countrey carbonadoed and quartred into seuerall characters. By D. Lupton Lupton, Donald, d. 1676. [16], 143, [1] p. Printed by Nicholas Okes, London : 1632. The first leaf is blank. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng England -- Social life and customs -- Early works to 1800. London (England) -- Description and travel -- Early works to 1800. 2003-03 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2003-04 Apex CoVantage Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2004-11 Ben Griffin Sampled and proofread 2004-11 Ben Griffin Text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-01 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion TO THE RIGHT Honorable Lord , the Lord GORING , Baron of Hurster-point , and Mr. of the Horse to the Queenes Highnes . Right Honorable : YOur Brothers real worth shewed to mee in the Warres abroad , imboldned me to present this new borne babe to your Protection , not doubting but to finde the same Reality of worth in your Selfe in the Court at home , as I found in Him in forraigne Leagers : The Subiect is new & Merry , the fitter eyther for Court or Field . It was conceiued and perfected in ten daves space ; and how desires tuition vnder your Lordship . It is the Emblem of my affection , and so hopes to be lou'd & lik'd the better & sooner ; it is the first , but not perhaps to bee the last . I had thought to haue presented it vnto your Lordship , before this time in Print , as I did in the Manuscript , had not eyther some maleuolent spirit , or enuious Planet crost me in my designes . I wish that it may bee esteem'd nere the worse , though from so meane a hand , and so vnworthy a person as my self . Lend it a fauourable sm●le to comfort and cherish it , and it shal be the highth of my desires ; thus presenting my selfe , it , and what is , or shall be mine , to your Honor. I humbly take my leaue . your Honors Obliged : D. Lupton . To the Reader . IF Courteous , I loue thee ; if otherwise , I feare not , deale by me , as thou wouldest haue others doe to thy selfe : if the matter prooue as pleasant , as the Subiect is New , I doubt not thy approbation : 't is one comfort , thou canst not say , I am the first Foole in Print , nor as I thinke , shall bee the last . Friends perswasions preuaile much , had they not , I had not showed my self in this kinde : I am in Presse , do not ouer-presse me with preiudicate Opinions . I desire thy smile and benigne aspect ; yet feare not much thy frown . If thou sayest , 't is idle , know it came not into the World to worke much ; Like it and Loue it if thou Please , leaue it is thou wilt ; t is all I say , if thou Louest mee , and my Childe , I loue thee , and Thine as thou art mine . D. Lupton . In Commendation of the Author . TAke in good part what here I offer , T is my maiden louing proffer ; I wonder at thy strange deuice , That thus thou shouldst Charactize : And how alone that thou shouldst finde , These two new Subiects to thy minde . Braue Ouerbury , Earle , nay none Found out this Plot but thou alone . But most of all , I wonder yet , How in ten dates thou finish'd it , The Mirth , the Wit , the Stile , the phrase , All giue thee a sufficient praise . Hee that thy Booke shall buy and read , Shall finde I 'ue spoken truth indeed . Thine Iohn Barker . To his louing Friend , D. Lupton . FEare not Momus , though hee Carpe , Nor Zoylus though hee snarle or Barke ; Mirth is the Subiect of thy Booke , Citty and Country here may looke , Wonder at thee , and praise thy paine , That labour'd hast Sans hope of gaine ? Thy Wit and Learning I Commend , To thee Applause , I freely lend : The wise will like , I wish the rest To spare their Censure , it is best : They le hurt themselues with their owne tong , Their Snarling can do thee no wrong . Per Samuel Perkings , Philomath . The Table . OF London . 1. The Tower. 2. St. Paules Church . 3. The Bridge . 4. Of the Thames . 5. Exchanges Old and New. 6. Cheapeside . 7. Innes of Court , and Chancery . 8. Smithfield 9. Bridewell . 10. Ludgate and Counters . 11. Newgate . 12. Turnebull-streete . 13. Hounsditch and Long-lane . 14. Charter-house . 15. Christs-hospitall . 16. Paris-Garden . 17. Artillery Garden . 18. Bedlam . 19. Play-houses . 20. Fencing-Schooles . 21. Dancing-schooles . 22. Fisher-woemen . 23. Scauengers and Goldefinders . 24. OF the Countrey . 1. Hospitality . 2. Enclosures . 3. Tenants by Lease . 4. Tenants at will. 5. Country Schoole masters 6. Country Vshers . 7. Country Chaplaines . 8. Ale-houses . 9. Apparators . 10. Constables . 11. 〈◊〉 or weekely Newes . 12. London and the Countrey Carbonadoed and Quartred into seuerall Characters . SHE is growne so Great , I am almost affraide to meddle with Her ; She 's certainely ● great World , there are so many little worlds in Her : She is the great Bee-hiue of Christendome , I am sure of England : Shee swarmes foure times in a yeare , with people of al Ages , Natures , Sexes , Callings : Decay of Trade , the Pestiletice , and a long Vacation , are threescar-Crowes to her ; Shee seemes to be a Glutton , for shee desires alwayes to bee Full : She may pray for the Establishing of Churches , for at the first view , they are Her chiefest Grace : she seemes contrary to al other things , for the older she is , the newer and more beautifull . Her Citizens should loue one another , for they are ioyn'd together ; onely this seemes to make them differ ; they liue one aboue another : most commonly he that is accounted richest liues worst . I am sure I may call her a gally-mophrey of al Sciences , Arts , & Trades : She may be sayd to bee alwayes with childe , for shee ●owes greater euery day then other ; she is a Mother well stored with daughters , ●t none equall to Her for ●reatnesse , Beauty , wealth : she is somewhat politicke , ●r she inlarges her bounds ●ceedingly , in giuing way 〈◊〉 make Cities of Common ●ardens ; and it 's thought ●r greatnes doth dimi●sh her Beauty . Certaine● shee is no Puritaine , for ●er buildings are now Conformitant ; nor shee 〈◊〉 no Separatist , for they ●re vnited together : shee ●ath a very great desire t is ●ought to bee good , for she is alwayes mending : she may be called a great Book faire Printed , Cum Priuilegio Regis : She is the Country-mans Laborinth , he can find many things in it , but many times looseth himselfe ; he thinkes Her to bee bigger then Heauen , for there are but 12. Caelestiall signes there , and he knowes them all very wel , but here are thousands that he wonders at : well , she is a glory to her Prince , a common gaine to her Inhabitants , a wonder to Strangers , an Head to the Kingdome , the nursery of Sciences , and ● wish her to bee as Good 〈◊〉 Great . 2. The Tower. FOwre things make it to be remarkeable . Ma● , Antiquity , Scituation , Strength , an head fitting so great a body , a Royall residence hath graced it : it stands principally , now for Defence , Offence , and punishment of Offenders . Anger it , and you shall heare it thunder farther then you can see it . Time seemes to bee a little angry with her , for shee striue to ruine her beauty , ●ere it not supported by 〈◊〉 hand of Maiesty . Gold ●nd Siluer the 〈◊〉 of our Land receiue their a● lowed formes from hence● A Coronation day is brau● ly exemplified here . It i● faithfull , for what is put i● here is surely safe : they tha● are within need not muc● feare , for they are sure t● be kept well , I cannot say● they shall presently be● forth comming . The me● that keepe it are no slug● gards , but are very ready for they Watch and War● continually . I wish it may be my prospectiue for pleasure , but not my abode by compulsion , I had rather bee an honest poore man without it , then otherwise neuer so Great , and 〈◊〉 in it : I thinke it to be 〈◊〉 Changling , for shee still ●epes the old fashion , It ●ay bee sayd to bee the Schoole of Morall Philosophy , for it ciuilizes Lyons and other Wild beasts : the Officers ought to bee faithfull Stewards , for they are much trusted , they had ●eed be wise , for they doe ●ot onely keepe themselues but others too . Those that are in it are reserud , still , and well stayed men : those that keepe it , are well payd , for it keepes them : Those that come to see it , rather ●dmire at euery thing 〈◊〉 ●eight any obiect . It is th●●ublick Megazine for warlick● prouision , it doth seeme terrible to those that doe offend her Prince , for her owne part she hath taken Allegiance , and withall Loyalty intends to keepe it . This Land hath affoorded this place many brethren , strong fortified Castles ; but through rebellion , through times malice , and the frownes of Princes , they cannot bee knowne almost but by their ruines , this kept her obedience to her Rulers , and so escaped as yet destruction . To conclude shee is the glory & strength both of City and Kingdome . 3. Of S. Paules Church . OH Domus Antiquae , a fit obiect for pitty , for Charity ; further Reported of then knowne , it is a compleat Body , for it hath the ●hree dimensions of Longi●ude , Latitude , and Profundity , and as an excellent O●er-plus famous for height . It was a maine poynt of Wisedome to ground Her ●ppon Faith , for Shee is the more likely to stand ●ure : the great Crosse in the middle , certainly hath bin , and is yet ominous to this Churches Reparation . S. Paul called the Church , the pillar of Truth , and surely had they not beene sound , they had fallen before thi● time . The Head of this Church hath beene twice troubled with aburning Feuer , and so the City to keep it from a third danger , let it stand without an head . I can but admire the Charity of former times , to Build such famous temples , when as these Ages cannot finde Repaire to them , but then the World was all Church , and now the Church is all World : then Charity went before , and exceeded Preaching ; now there is much Preaching , nay more the● euer , yet lesse Charity ; o● fore-Fathers aduanc'd the Church , and kept their Land : These times loose their Lands , and yet decay the Churches : I honor Antiquity so much the more , because it so much loued the Church . There is more Reason to suspect the precise Puritaine deuoyd of Charity , then the simple Ignorant fraught withgood Workes . I thinke truly in this one point , the ends of their Actions were for good , and what they aimed at was Gods glory , & their owne happines . They builded Temples , but our degenerating Age can say ▪ Come , let vs take them into our hands and possesse them : Amongst many others , this cannot be sayd to bee the Rarest , though the greatest . Puritaines are blowne out of the Church with the loud voice of the Organs , their zealous Spirits cannot indure the Musicke , nor the multitude of the Surplices ; because they are Relickes , ( they say , ) of Romes Superstition . Here is that famous place for Ser mons , not by this Sect frequented , because of the Title , the Crosse. The middle I le is much frequented at noone with a Company of Hungarians , not walking so much for Recreation , a● neede ; ( and if any of these meete with a yonker , that hath his pockets well lined with siluer , they will relate to him the meaning of Tycho Brache , or the North-Star : and neuer leaue flattring him in his own words and sticke as close to him , as a Bur vppon a Trauailers cloake ; and neuer leaue him til he and they haue saluted the greene Dragon , or the Swanne behind the Shambles , where I leaue them . ) Well , there is some hope of Restoring this Church to its former glory ; the great summes of money bequeathed , are some probabilitles , & the charity of some good men already , in cloathing and Repayring the inside , is a great incouragement ; and there is a speech that the Houses that are about it , must be puld down , for Paules Church is old enough to stand alone . Here are prayers often , but sinister suspition doubts more formall then zealous ; they should not be worldly , because al Church-men ; there are none dumbe , for they can speake loud enough . I leaue it and them , wishing all might be amended . 4. The Bridge . IT is almost Arts wonde● , for strength , length , beauty , widenesse , height : It may be sayd to be Polypus , because it is so well furnished with legges : Euery Mouth is foure times filled in eight and forty houres , and then as a Child it is still , but as soone as they be empty , like a Lyon it roares , and is wondrous Impatient : It is made of Iron , Wood , and Stone , and therefore it is a wondrous hardy Fellow . It hath changd the forme , but as few doe now a dayes , from worse to better : certainely it is full of Patience , because it beares so much , and continually : It 's no Prison , for any one goes through it : It is something addicted to pride , for many a Great man goes vnder it ; and yet it seemes something humble too , for the poorest Peasant tread vpon it : It hath more Wonders then Arches , the houses here built are wondrous strong , yet they neyther stand on Land or Water : It is some praeiudice to the Water-mans gaines ; many goe ouer here , which otherwise should row or sayle : It helpes many a Pennilesse Purse to passe the water without danger or charges : nothing afrights it more , then Spring-tides or violent inundations : It is chargeable to keep , for it must be continually Repayred : it is the onely chiefe crosser of the water , his Arches out-face the water , and like Iudges in the Parliament are plac'd vpon woole sackes : one that liues heere neede not buy strong Water , for heere is enough for nothing : it seemes to hinder the Water-bearers profit , for the Inhabitants easily supply their Wants by Buckets : He is a setled fellow , and a maine vpholder of houses ; hee is meanely plac'd , for there are diuerse aboue him , and many vnder him , & his houses may wel bee called None-such , for there is none like them , and to conclude , he pertakes of two Elements , his nether parts are all for Water , his vpper for Land ; in a word , it is without Compare , being a dainty streete , and a strong and most stately Bridge . 5. Thames . THis is a long , broad , slippery Fellow ; Rest hee affects not , for he is alwaies in motion : he seemes something like a Carrier , for he is stil eyther going or comming , and once in sixe or eight houres , salutes the Sea his Mother , and then brings Tydings from her : He followes the disposition of the VVind , if that be Rough , so is the VVater ; if that calme , so is this : and hee loues it , because when the VVinde is at highest , then the VVater will best show her strength and anger : it is altogether vnsteedy , for it commonly is sliding away . Mans vnconstant state , and Vncertayne frayle condition , is truely Resembled by this , alwayes either ebbing or flowing , beeing in a trice high and low : he will not be a Martyre , for he will turne , but neuer burne : Resolution is absolutely his Guide and Counsellour , for he will run his course ; hee cannot be sayd to be a Wel or Spring without Water , for he is puteus in exhaustus . Merchandize hee likes and loues ; and therefore sends forth Ships of Trafficke to most parts of the Earth : his Subiects and I●habitants line by oppresion like hard Land-lords at Land , the greater rule & many times deuoure the lesse : the City is wondrousl● beholden to it , for shee is furnished with almost all necess●ries by it : He is wondrously crost , hee is the maintainer of a great company of Water-men ; he is a great 〈◊〉 , for he works as much in the night as the day . Hee is led by an vnconstant Guide , the Moone : he is cleane contrary to Smithfield , because that is all for Flesh , but this for Fish ; his inhabitants are different from those vpon Land , for they are most without legges : Fisher-men seeme to off●r him much wrong , for th●y rob him of many of his Subiects ; he is seldome without company , but in the night , o●●ough weather : H● meets the Sun but followes the Moone : ●e seemes to complaine a● the Bridge , because it hath intruded into his bowels , and that makes him Roare at that place : to speake truth of him , he is the priuiledg'd place , for Fish and Shippes ▪ the glory and wealth of the City , the high way to the Sea , the br●nger in of wealth and Strangers , and his busines is all for water , yet hee deales much with the Land too : he is a little Sea , and a great Riuer . 6. Exchanges Old and Neu● THe one of these came from Antwerpe , the other from a Stable ; the one was Dutch , yet made Denison ; the other was not lo at the beginning , but did Exchange his name and nature . The Merchants are men generally of good habite , their words are vsually better then their Consciences ; their Discourse ordinarily begins in Water , but ends in Wine : the frequenting of the Walkes twice a day , and a careles laughter , argues that they are sound : if they visit not once a day , t is suspected they are cracking , or broken : their Countenance is ordinarily shap'd by their successe at Sea , eyther merry , sad , or desperat : they are like ships at sea , top and top gallant this day , to morrow sincking : the ●ea is a Tennis-court , their State● are Bals , the Winde is the Racket , and doth strike many for lost vnder Line , and many in the hazard : They may seeme to bee acquainted with Athens , for they all desire Newes : Some of them do keepe two brittle Vessels , their Shippes and their Wiues : the latter is lesse ballast , and that makes them so light : the Merchants Respect the former most , for if that sinke or be ouer-throwne , they fal , but the fall of the latter , is oftentimes the aduancing of their heads : Conscience is sold here for nought ; because it is as old Sermons , a dead Commodity : they wil dissemble with , and cozen one another , though all the Kings that euer were ●nce the Conquest , ouerlooked them . Here are vsually more Coaches attendant , then at Church-doores : The Merchants should keepe their Wiues from visiting the vpper Roomes too often , least they tire their purses by attyring themselues . Rough Seas , Rockes , and Pyrats , treacherous Factors , and leaking ships affright them : they are strange polititians , for they bring Turkey and Spaine into London , & carry London thither . Ladies surely loue them , for they haue that which is good for them , Farre fe●cht , & dear● bought : they may proou● stable men , but they must first leaue the Exchange . It is a great House full of goods ; though it be almost in the middle of the Citty , yet it Stands by the Sea. There 's many Gentle-women come hither , that to helpe their faces and Complexions , breakes their husbands backs , who play foule in the Countrey with their Land , to be faire ; and play false in the City : the place to conclude , is thought to bee a great Formal●st , and an hazardable Temporizer , and is like a beautifull Woman , absolutely good , if not too common . 7. Cheapeside . T Is thought the Way through this streete is not good , because so broad , and so many go in it ; yet though it be broad , it 's very streight , because without any turnings : it is suspected here are not many sufficient able men , because they would sell all : and but little honesty , for they show all , and some think , more some time then their owne : they are very affable , for they 'le speak to most that passe by : they care not how few be● in the streets , so their shop● bee full : they that bring them money , seeme to bvsed worst , for they are sure to pay soundly : their Bookes of accounts are not like to their estates ; for the latter are best without , but the other with long crosses ▪ there are a great company of honest men in this place , if all bee gold that glisters : their parcell-gilt plate is thought to Resemble them selu●s , most of them haue better faces , then hearts ; their monies and coines are vsed as prisoners at Sea , kept vnder hatches . One would thinke them to bee good men , for they deale with the purest and best mettals , & euery one striues to work best , and stout too , for they get much by knocking , & especially by leaning on their Elbowes . Puritans doe hold it for a fine streete , but something addicted to Popery , for adorning the Crosse too much . The inhabitants seeme not ●o affect the Standard ; the Kings and Queenes would bee offended with , and punish them , knew they how these batter their faces on their coynes . Some of their Wiues would bee ill priso●ers , for they cannot in●re to be shut vp ; and as bad Nunnes , the life is so solitary : there are many vertuous and honest Women , some truly so , others are so for want of opportunity ▪ they hold that a harsh place of Scripture , That women must be no goers or gadders abroad in going to a lecture many vse to visite a Tauern : the young attendant must want his eyes , and change his tongue , according as hi● mistresse shal direct , though many times they do mistake the place , yet they will remember the time an houre and halfe , to auoyd suspition . Some of the men are cunning Landerers of plat● and get much by washing that plate they handle , and it hath come from some of them , like a man from the Brokers that hath casheer'd his cloake , a great deale the lighter . Well , if all the men be Rich and true , and the women all faire and honest , then Cheapeside shall stand by Charing-Crosse for a wonder , and I wil make no more Characters . But I proceede . 8. Innes of Court , and Chancery . THese were builded for Profit , Grace , Pleasure , Iustice : the buildings grace City , the Men grace the Buildings , Iustice & Learning grace the Men : These places furnish our Land with Law : Here Nobility , Learning , Law , Gentrey , haue their Residence ; here are Students and Professors ; here are Students that will not be Professors ▪ here are Professors & Students : here are Professors yet not Students ; & here bee some that are neyther Students nor Professors : Many hold , that for an excellent Custome , in the Temple , immunity , from danger of Serieants or such like proling Vermine . Some liue here for profite , others for Grace , some for pleasure , some for all , yet most for profite and pleasure : They that meane to liue by Law , desire not so much the Theory as the Practicke part : though many here follows the Law , yet all keep it not , but some transgresse : They are the Seminaries of Iudge ment and Iustice ; hee that is most expert in the Law , is the most fitting for publicke imployment , and the Magistracy ; these cause Caesar to haue his due , and giue the Subiect his Right : that Land is likely to flourish where Religion and Iustice are honour'd and practis'd : take away Iustice , and Religion wil halt ; remooue Religion , and Iustice will degenerate into tyranny ; let Moses and Aaron Rule , and our Israel will prosper : these places Moralize , Ciuilize the younger , aduance the Learned : their Founders intended the stablishing of Peace , and confirming of Religion : many things that begin with blows , & would end in blood , are by these Professors mediated , and Christian agreement made ▪ their number , Vnity , great imployment , makes the● admired , to conclude , the● are Rich Megazines for Law , store-houses for policy , Bulwarkes of Equity , let them euer flourish , as long as they are Deo , Regi , Patria ; for God , their King and Country . 9. Smithfield . YOu may haue a faire prospect of this square Fellow , as you passe from the streights of Pie Corner ; this place is wel stored with good harbours for Passengers to put into for flesh & drinke , and fish it is admirable ; but fish harbour appeares now but two dayes in seauen aboue water : here thrice in a week one may see more beasts then men . Butchers that haue money make this their Hauen , or Rendeuouz : Men that are downe-fled , and better fed then taught , may see many like themselues , boght here for the slaughter : Butchers surely cannot indure Cuckolds , because they kill so many horn'd beasts . Some I suppose , may bee sayd to buy themselues , such as trafficke for Calues : though the place besquare , yet here is much cheating in it : here Land-pirates vse to sel that which is none of their own : heere comes many Horses , ( like Frenchmen ) rotten in the ioynts , which by tricks are made to leape , though they can scarse go ; he that lights vpon a Horse in this place , from an olde Horse-courser , sound both in wind and limbe , may light of an honest Wife in the Stews : here 's many an olde Ia●e , that trots hard for 't , that vses his legs sore against his will , for he had rather haue a Stable then a Market , or a Race : I am perswaded that this place was paued without the consent of the Horse-courses company : this place affords those leather blacke-coates , which run so fast vppon Wheeles , they shake many a young Heire out of his stocke and meanes : the men that liue here , may be said to be wel fed , for here 's meat enough ; this place 〈◊〉 what Rich Countrey England is ▪ and how well it breedes Beasts , a man that considers their number and greatnes and how soone Consumed ▪ may thinke there are a World of mouthes , or else that Englishmen are great eaters . Well , I will speake this of Smithfield , it is the greatest , fairest , richest , squarest market place of this great City or Kingdome . 10. Bridewell . HEre comes many that haue beene at many a Dance , but neuer affected the Bride-Well ; heere 's a Pallace strangly Metamorphosed into a prison : in the outward Court were Carts not for the Husband-man , but for those that haue vsed the vnlawfull game of Venery ; it seemes to be contrary to nature , to make those draw which were made to beare , a strange inuention to haue such a new punishment , for such an old sinne . Me thinkes the house complaines , Oh quam a dispari Domino : It may be sayd of it , that it hath beene Eminent , Great , and Maiesticall , so much may bee sayde of it yet , that the Court is where it was : It should maintaine Vertue , for it punishes vice , they are seuere Gouernors , for they are most vpon correction : when men haue here done their work , they are sure of their wages , a whip : they are temperate here , for they eate not ouer much ; for their drinke , if all were to follow their course , it would make Male cheape , for it's water . It may be sayd of this , as of the Palatinate , would it was restor'd In statu qu● prius : some say there are many idle persons in it ; strange ! yet work so hard : It ' is thought there 's scarse a true fellow in it , for they all lye hard : there 's none can say hee workes for nothing , for they are all s●e of payment . It 's the only Remembrancer of Aegypts slauery , they haue task●maisters to holde them to their worke : their whippemaister is like a Countrey Pedagouge , they many times whippe better , then himselfe , and both take a pride in their office , they inflict that vppon others , which they deserue themselues : they that come out of it neede not feare Purgatory , for it's thought to be a place of more ease . This is a two fold comfort vnto them , that they may once come out , and then they can scarce light of an harder maister , or a worse seruice : they may be Papists , for they fast often , haue their bodies afflicted , are shut vp from the World , seeme wondrous penitent , onely they pray not so often . I leaue the place , wishing they may come out , amend , and neuer more come into it . 11. Ludgate and Counters . I Le ioyne all these together , because their natures are not much diferent , some of the Officers make the places worse then they would be , if a man cannot by monies or good security pay his debts , yet hee may l●e for them here ▪ the Prisoners are like Apprentices , desire hartily to bee Freemen : Certainly , they haue beene men of great credite , for they haue beene much trusted : they hate three persons , an extream Creditor , a cunning Lawyer , and a biting Serieant : these three are all fishers of men , the Creditor ownes the Net , the Lawyer places and spreads it , the Serieant ●als and drawes it to a purse : the Serieant seemes to bee most of trust , for hee hath the Whole businesse put into his hands , and if he can , concludes it : the Lawyer next to him , for hee is trusted with the Bonds : the Creditor himselfe is of least note , for he will not be seene in his owne busines : yet the Creditor is Lord of the Game , the Lawyer is his Hunsman , the Serieant his blood Hound , the Yeoman his Beagle , and the Debtor is the wild Hare ; if hee be taken , most commonly hee is tamed in one of these M●ses : a Serieant is worst when most imploied , & a Lawyer when most trusted , the Cre ditor when without pitty , and the Debtor when prodigality and ill courses haue procured this Cage . The Attourney and Serieant may be termed Hang-men , they procure and serue so many Executions : These places are fullest when men break their bonds , & make forfeitures ; they may bee called Dens , the Serieant Lyons , and the Debtor the Prey . It is a● ancient Gate , yet not affected by Citizens , though a closet for safety . For the Counters , they teach wandrings Nitingals the way vnto their Nests , and learne them to sing the Counter-Tenor : the Counters seeme very courteous , for they will open almost at any houre in the night , they would not haue men lye in the streets : wel , they are places that are too full , the more pitty that men eyther haue not better Estates , Consciences , or manners , to pay their Debts , & li●e vprightly and orderly . 12. Newgate . IT may well answere to the name , and thanke the City for her care and charges : It is now well fac'd and heāded , Charity helps much to a decayed Estate : but that Saint Pauls is a Church , and so to beare no anger or grudge , it would enuy the prosperity of the Gates , and be angry with the Citizens for not thinking vppon her old age and pouerty . Newgate is generally a place of safety , and few comes hither , but by merit : the captiues are men that once would not , now must liue within compasse , they should be men of worth , for the Keeper will not , dare not loose one of them . When they are forsaken euery where , then this place takes them in , for feare their heeles should bee as quicke as their Hands haue beene : Hee layes them in irons , that he may be the surer of them : they are , or may be supposed to be sound men , for they seldome break out : as long as they stay heere , they cannot be sayd to bee vnstayd fellowes or Vagrants , for they are sure of a place of stay : they are quicke-sighted , for they can see through iron grates : some of them seeme to be Eminent men , for they are highly aduanced ; they are like Fish , haue a long time nibled away the baite , but are now caught : Certainly they are no Libertines , and are conuicted of Free will : they are vncharitable , for they seldome loue their Keeper ; they haue the power of life and death in their owne hands , and put many to be prest to death . By seeking others goods they procur'd their owne hurt . They liued without any thought of Iudgement , now it is the onely thing they feate : They hold a Triangle to be a dangerous Figure . Of all places they hold Holborne-hill an vnfortunate place to ride vp . It seemes they goe that way vnwillingly , for they are drawne : They cannot misse their way to their Iourneys end , they are so guarded and guided . Lice seeme to bee their most constant Companions , for they 'le hang with them for company : It seemes these men were not made for Examples , for at their Confession they wish all men not to follow their courses : and most are easily perswaded , for ther 's very few dare do as they haue done . Well , I passe from them , thus much you may bee sure of , once a Moneth you may heare , know , and see if you please ; whether they liue , or dye 13. Turnebull-streete . IT is in an ill name , and therefore halfe-hang'd : here may bee some Probability of Honesty , little or no demonstration , especially a Priory . Heere are Lasses that seeme to hate Enclosures , for they would lay all open , they may seeme good Subiects , for they loue standing or lying for the Common : They hold it was a good Age , when Woemen practis'd Astronomy . They seeme to bee P●ritans , for they loue priuate Conuenticles : They are not altogether vnpractif'd in the Law , for they know and loue Feelings : The Aspect here is the Conjunction , and they hold a noune Substantiue , a Preposition , an Interiection & Coniunction the best parts of speech . They haue learn'd thus far in their Ac●idences , that femin● ludificantur viros . They seeme to bee no whit addicted to pride , for they desire to be below : they loue not Lent , because they delight more in flesh : they seeme to bee well-wishers to Lawyers , and to the Citie , for they loue Terme-times , and pray against the decay of trading . Their chiefest desire is to bee well mann'd , they keepe open houses : It is hazardable to trust them because they are much addicted to Lying : They affect a Cannoneire well , because hee will force a breach , and enter the passage . They Ioue not to wrastle , they had rather take a fall , then giue one . When this Streete was builded , surely Mars and Venus were in a Coniunction . Here are very few men , but they are well arm'd : Nay the Woemen haue receiued presse-money , & haue performed the Seruice : woemen though the colder vessels by Nature , yet these are the hotter by Art : they may bee thought to be great Schollers , for they pertake of all the liberall Sciences , for Grammar they know the Syntax●s , and the Figure cal'd Apollo P. For Logic● they haue skill in the Antepraedicaments & the Fall●cies ; for Musicke they a● not affected with Vnisons ▪ but are skilfull in Chroches and quauers , & loue Ela● because the highest Note and makes them squeake for Retoricke , they kno● the Metonomia adiuncti , and Apostrophe ; for Arethmeticke , the loue addition , and deuision ; for Astronomy , they know the motion of Venus , and are obseruers of Mars ; for their skil in Geography , they know the Tropickes and the Torrid Zone , and ●o being thus experienc'd in these Sciences , they are much frequented and sought too . I wish all in this Streete to take heed of their Cellars , least they fire first , and to lay their Trading downe , or else it will lay them downe . 14. Hounsditch and Long-lane . THese two are twinnes , they haue both set vp one Profession ; they will buy a mans Suite out of his hands , but it shal be hang'd or prest for 't . A man that comes here as a stranger would think that there had beene some great death of men and woemen , here abouts he sees so many suites & no men for them . Here are Suites enough for all the Lawyers in London to deale withall : the Inhabitants are men of many outsides , their faults are not seene easily , because they haue so many cloakes for them : they should be well affected to the Romane Church , for they keepe , & lay vp old Reliques : They are beholden to the Hangman , for he furnishes their Shops : And most of their Creditors wish that they may furnish his three corner'd shop , which often comes to p●sse ; and as many say , the oftner the better : Broke Currs they are in two respects , most of them were broke before they set vp , & Currs for biting so sore euer since they set vp : his shop is a Hell , he the Diuell in 't , & torments poore soules : the Iayler & Broker are Birds of a feather , the one Imprisons the Body , the other the Cloaths , both make men pay deare for their lodging : The Broker seemes somwhat the kinder , for he layes the cloaths in Lauender : he is much of a Seruing mans nature , liues much vpon the Reuersion of cast cloathes : the Seruing-man hath them the cheaper , but the other keepes them the better , they many times do make a bargaine : Hee loues those birds best , that oftnest cast their Feathers : to conclude , he is no Tradsman , if the whole bunch of them be weighed , you shal not scarse finde a dramme of honesty , for a pound of craft . 15. Charter-house . THis place is wel described by three thinges , Magnificence , Munificence , and Religious gouernment : Magnificence is the ●erminus a quo , good Orders the Terminus mediari , Munificence and Charity the Terminus ad quem : the first showes the wealth of both Founder and Establisher : the second showes the ●eanes to make the good thing done , durable : the third demonstrates his in●ent that thus Establisht it : had it beene great without good gouernment , it had long ere this time come to ruine : or had it bin great & yet deuoyd of Charity , it would haue bin laught at & derided ; but now Charity showes it is well gouerned , and the good Gouernment keeps it firme , and make● it famous : Souldiers and Schollers , I thinke , beginne their loue here , that they continue hereafter firme & solide , by liuing together ▪ callings both honorable , & here bountifully maintayned : It is a Reliefe for decaied Gentlemen , old Souldiers , and auncient Seruingmen : t is to bee pittied , that such Religious , Charitable houses , increase not in number : this one place hath sent many a famous member to the Vniuersities , and not a few to the Warres : I wil not censure as some do , that many places are heere sold for monies , nay the reuersions also : I le rather ex●ort the Gouernors to discharge a good conscience , ( and not to suffer their men , or any other whom they affect , to get thirty or forty pounds for the promise of the next vacant place for a youth to come in , ) and to obserue their first Institutions ; and those that so suppose , I wish them that they speake not that with their mouthes , which they know not in their hearts . The deede of this man that so ordered this House , is much spoken of , and commended : but there 's none ( except onely one ) that as yet , hath eyther striuen to equall or imitate that , and I feare neuer will : there 's many that will not doe any such good Workes , and giue out that they smell something of Popery , and therfore not to be imitated : well , I durst warrant thus much , let the Ouer-seers liue Religiously , gouerne Ciuily , auoid Bribery , keep their Cannons directly , and this House shall stand to vpbraid this Iron Age , and see many brought to beggery for prodigality , when they shall be satisfied , and haue enough : Well , this is my opinion of it , that the Founder is happy , and so are all his Children that liue here ; if they degenerate not , and ●rne from fearing God , obeying their Prince , and from liuing in loue amongst themselues . 16. Christs-hospitall . THe former place and this are much of one nature , yet some difference there is ; Charter-house is the younger for time , but exceedes for reuenews : It was erected by one , this by many Citizens . Christs-hospitall is principally for Childrens education , that are fatherlesse and motherlesse , the other for Mens and Childrens too . The former is for any , as well as Citizens , the latter not , that onely , it is for Children ; seemes to be conformable to Christs will , Suffer little Children to come vnto mee : None that are in this place can be sayd to bee without portions , for they haue Education : the Cities Charity is the lesse , for shee Relicues but her owne . It 's a good means to empty their streetes of young beggars , and fatherlesse Children : She doth no more then the Lawes of the Land seeme to enioyne , to keepe those that were borne within her : it 's a good policy to p● them young to this place , because they may learne Vertue before Vice : And ordinarily , if youth be wel seasoned , it is the more hopefull to be good in age . The City doth deserue very great commendation for this action , because it 's rare to see so great a Company ioyne together , for the good of the poore , and last out . You may easily know the Children that belong vnto this place , by their Azure liueries , and their Sable head-peeces : This House may be termed the Childrens Common-wealth , and to speak truth , it 's well gouerned by good Lawes , I wish the City not to be proud for her Charity , nor to be weary of wel doing ; and the Hospitall to remember their Benefactors , and the Children to liue and learne well , for feare of Correction . 17. Paris-Garden . THis may better bee termed a foule Denne then a faire Garden . It 's pitty so good a piece of ground is no better imploied : Heere are cruell Beasts in it , and as badly vs'd ; heere are foule beasts come to it , and as bad or worse keepe it , they are fitter for a Wildernesse then a City : idle base persons ( most commonly ) that want imployment , or else will not be otherwise imploy'd , frequent this place ; and that money which was got basely here , to maintaine as bad as themselues , or spent lewdly ; here come few that either regard their credit , or losse of time : the swaggering Roarer , the cunning Cheater , the rotten Bawd , the swearing Drunkard , and the bloudy Butcher haue their Rendeuouz here , and are of chiefe place and respect . There are as many ciuil religious men here , as thei 're Saints in Hell. Here these are made to fight by Art , which would agree by Nature : They thriue most when the poore beasts fight oftenest : their imployment is all vpon quarrels as vnlawfull , as vnseemely , they cause the Beasts first to fight , and then they put in first to part them : It 's pitty such beastly Fellowes should bee so well maintain'd , they torment poore creatures , & make a gaines and game of it . The Beasts come forth with as ill a will , as Beares to the stake . A Beare-ward and an Atturney are not much vnlike , the Atturney seemes the more cruell , for these baite but Beasts ; but these men , their Clients : The Beareward striues to recouer the hurts of his Beasts , but the Atturney regards not the dammages of any , and they both follow the Trade for profit . Well , I leaue the place , and when I intend to spend an houre , or two , to see an Asse and an Ape , to losse and charges , I may perhaps come hither : But as long as I can haue any imployment elsewhere , I will not come to see such a great Company so ill occupied , in so bad a place . 18. Artillery . THis place is the Cities Campe , and Mars his Schoole : Here are foure braue Flowers in this Garden , Manhood , Courage , Actiuity , Armes . The vse and expert skill of Warre may be seene here in peace : Decency , Nimblenesse , Skill , Vniforme order , and Experience , the fiue qualifications gracing Military Discipline , are vsually here to be view'd . In their exercising how many little bodies may you see , that by their proportionable motion make a great body ? and that suddenly alterede into any Forme : Here are braue Martiall Blades , that at three words , and three motions will giue fire : here are more armes then heads or feete : Yet when one moues , like Wheeles in a Iacke they all moue . They are men that must not encroach into one anothers ground , but as they are com manders , so they must keep distance ; & they seeme not affect Confusions , for they all striue to keepe order : ●is no maruell why Souldiers desire so to fight , for they are alwayes in Diuisions . You may know by their Marchinge where euer either the best Gentleman , or the ancienest Souldier is plac'd , for hee is euer in the Right before , or Left behinde : They are strange men ; for in tenne yards space of ground they can all turne their faces about : there 's thought to bee no steadinesse in them , for like Fortunes wheele , they many times suddenly alter & turne : they are generally men of good Order and Ranke , they then are at compleatest view , when their length and breadth agree , ten euery way . They are most dislik'd , when they are either out , or off their Files . They vse to put their worst Peices in the middest . They seeme to bee suddenly angry , for one word moues them all . Obedience and Silence they must practise , to doe as they are commanded , and to harken vnto their charge . A good Souldier must be like a true Maide , seene but not heard : Hee 's more for actions then words . The City did well to prouide Mars a Garden , as well as Venus an House . No question , but when these meete , they will be at push of Pike , and often discharge . Before I leaue this honourable place , I may speake this of it : that 's excellent the oftner vs'd , the best when 't is fullest , and most Eminent Wisedome , Courage , Experience , Policy , bee the foure Coronels ; and the foure Regiments consist of Patience , Obedience , Valour , and Constancy ; and their Colours Deo , Regi , Gregi , Legi , for God , their King , Law , and Countrey , flourishing all in the field of Honor and Victory . 19. Bedlam . HEere liue many , that are cal'd men , but seldome at home , for they are gone out of themselues : Nature hath bin a Steppemother to some , and misery and crosses haue caused this strange change in others : they seeme to liue here , eyther to rectifie Nature , or forget Miseries : they are put to Learne that Lesson which many , nay all that will be happy , must learne to know , and be acquainted with themselues : this House would bee too little , if all that are beside themselues should be put in here : it seemes strange that any one shold recouer here , the cryings , screechings , roarings , brawlings , shaking of chaines , swearings , frettings , chaffings , are so many , so hideous , so great , that they are more able to driue a man that hath his witts , rather out of them , then to helpe one that neuer had them , or hath lost them , to finde them againe . A Drunkard is madde for the present , but a Madde man is drunke alwayes . You shall scarce finde a place that hath so many men & woemen so strangely altered either from what they once were , or should haue beene : The men are al like a Shippe that either wants a Sterne , or a Steresman , or Ballast ; they are all Heteroclites from Nature , either hauing too much Wildnesse , or being defectiue in Iudgment . Here Art striues to mend or cure Natures imperfections and defects . Certainely , hee that keepes the House may be sayd to liue among wilde Creatures : It 's thought many are kept here , not so much in hope of recouery , as to keepe them from further and more desperate Inconueniences . Their Faculties and Powers of their Soules and Bodies being by an ill cause vitiated and depraued , or defectiue . The men may be said to be faire Instruments of Musicke , but either they want strings , or else though beeing strung are out of tune , or otherwise want an expert Artist to order them : Many liue here that know not where they are , or how they got in , neuer thinke of getting out : there 's many that are so well or ill in their wits , that they can say they haue bin out of them , & gaine much by dissembling in this kind : desperate 〈◊〉 that dare make a mocke of iudgment : well , if the Diuell was not so strong to delude , & men so easily to be drawne , this house would stand empty , and for my part , I am sorry it hath any in it . 20. Play-houses . TIme , Place , Subiect , Actors , and Cloathes , either make or marr a play : the Prologue and Epilogue are like to an Host and Hostesse , one bidding their Guests welcome , the other bidding them farwell : the Actors are like Seruingmen , that bring in the Sceanes and Acts as their Meate , which are lik'd or dislik'd , according to euery mans iudgment , the neatest drest , and fairest deliuered , doth please most . They are as crafty with an old play , as Bauds with olde faces ; the one puts one a new fresh colour , the other a new face and Name : they practise a strange Order , for most commonly the wisest man is the Foole : They are much beholden to Schollers that are out of meanes , for they sell them ware the cheapest : they haue no great reason to loue Puritans , for they hold their Calling vnlawfull . New Playes and new Cloathes , many times help bad actions : they pray the Company that 's in , to heare them patiently , yet they would not suffer them to come in without payment : they say as Schollers now vse to say , there are so many , that one Fox could find in his heart to eate his fellow : A player often changes , now he acts a Monarch , tomorrow a Beggar : now a Souldier , next a Taylor : their speech is loud , but neuer extempore , he seldome speaks his own minde , or in his own name : when men are heere , and when at Church , they are of contrary mindes , there they thinke the time too long , but heere too short : most commonly when the play is done , you shal haue a ligge or dance of al trads , they mean to put their legs to it , as well as their tongs : they make men wonder when they haue done , for they all clappe their hands . Sometimes they flye into the Countrey ; but t is a suspicion , that they are either poore , or want cloaths , or else Company , or a new Play : Or do as some wandring Sermonists , make one Sermon trauaile and serue twenty Churches . All their care is to be like Apes , to immitate and expresse other mens actions in their own persons : they loue not the company of Geese or Serpents , because of their hissing : they are many times lowzy , it 's strange , and yet shift so often : As an Ale-house in the Country is beholden to a wilde Schoolemaster , so an whoore-house to some of these , for they both spend all they get . Well , I like them well , if when they Act vice they will leaue it , and when vertue , they will follow . I speake no more of them , but when I please , I will come and see them . 21. Fencing-Schooles . HEere 's many a man comes hither , which had rather work then play , though very few can hit these men , yet any one may know where to haue them , vpon his guard : his Schollers seeme to bee strangely taught , for they do nothing but play ; his care seemes to be good , for he learnes men to keepe their bodies in safety . Vsually they that set vp this Science haue bin some Low-countrey Souldier , who to keep himselfe honest from further inconueniences , as also to maintayne himselfe , thought vp on this course , and practise it : the worst part of his Science is , hee learnes men to falsifie : hee is glad to see any Nouice that reads his Orders with his hat on , for then he hopes for a forfeiture ; there are many blows giuen and taken , yet little or no blood spilt , the more he beates , the better man he is held to be , he will make many daunce about his Schoole , as a Beare about a stake . A little touch vpon your elbow , is commonly his first acquaintance and salutation : he hath his Discourse ordinarily of single Combates , and then will show you his Wounds , and cause you to heare his oaths which are his familiar Retoricke : He is for the most part a potter and piper and if he be well in age or not , you may know by the sanguine complexion of his nose , and the number of pearles that are vsually about it , accompanied with Rubies and Saphires , show that hee is some Ieweller . His Schoole is an introduction to blowes , and hee makes many mans head to ●ee the pillow of his Cudgell : one must not trust to his lookes , for he lookes at one place , and strikes at another : you must bee sure to keepe him off , for hee is most dangerous when neerest to you : hee seldome strikes downe right , but either back● - wards or forwards : He that loues fighting in earnest , let him goe to the Wars ; he that loues to fight in iest , let him come hither . 22. Dancing-schooles . THey seeme to be places Consecrated , for they that vse to practise heere , put off their shoes , & dance single-sol'd ; they are not exceeding men , for they teach and delight in Measures : they seeme to be men of spare dyet , for they liue vpon Capers : their trade is not chargeable to beginne withal , for one treble violl sets it vp : they should bee good players at Cards , for for they teach men to Cut and shuffle wel : their schollers armes are like pinion'd Prisoners , not to reach too or aboue their heads : their heeles seem to hinder their preferment , & that makes them to rise vppon their roes : whatsoeuer their actions bee , they must carry their bodies vpright : The Schollers are like Courtiers , full of Cringes : And their Master seemes to bee a man of great Respect , for they all salute him with hat in hand , and knees to the ground : the number of fiue is the dauncing A , B , C , both Maister and Schollers seeme to loue Newes , for they both consist much of Currantoes : their eyes must not see what their feet do , they must when they Daunce , be like men that haue the French disease , stiffe in the Hammes ; they are guided by the Musicke , and therefore should be merry men . What they may seeme to intend , is that they hope to dance before Gentlewomen : But in the next Iigge you shall bee sure to haue them turne like Globes all round . They like a Fiddle better then a Drumme , and hold Venus to bee a more auspicious Planet then Mars . When they are in the Schooles they are Antickes , when they are out , I thinke you will iudge as I doe , they loue the Faeminine gender more then the Masculine : Generally , these Schooles learne men to begin merrily , leaue off sighing , and therefore they are players of Tragedies , not Comedies ; I thinke hee that seldome dances , liues well ; but he that neuer , liues best . When I intend to shew my bodies strength , and my mindes weakenesse , I will bee one of their Proficients : I had rather haue my body not dance here , for feare my Soule should not like the Musicke : Giue me that place whereall is Musicke , but no Dancing . 23. Fisher-woemen . THese Crying , Wandring , and Trauailing Creatures carry their shops on their heads , and their Store-house is ordinarily . Bilings gate or the Bridge-foote , and their habitation Turnagaine-lane , they set vp euery morning their Trade afresh . They are easily set vp and furnish't , get something , and spend it Iouially and merrily : Fiue shillings a Basket , and a good cry , is a large stocke for one of them . They are merriest when all their Ware is gone : in the morning they delight to haue their shop ful , at Euen they desire to haue it empty : their Shoppe's but little , some two yards compasse , yet it holds all sorts of Fish , or Hearbs , or Roots , Strawberries , Apples , or Plums , Cowcumbers , and such like ware : Nay , it is not destitute some times of Nutts , and Orenges , a●d Lemmons . They are fre● in all places , and pay nothing for shop-rent , but onely finde repaires to it . If they drinke ou● their whole Stocke , it 's but pawning a Petticoate in Long - 〈◊〉 or themselues in Turnebull-streete for to set vp againe . They change euery day almost , for Shee that was this day for Fish , may bee to morrow for Fruit ; next day for Hearbs , another for Roots : so that you must heare them cry before you know what they are furnisht withall , when they hau● done their Faire , they meet in mirth , singing , dancing , & in the middle as a Parenthesis , they vse scolding , but they doe vse to take & put vp words , & end not till either their money or wit , or credit bee cleane spent out . Well , when in an euening they are not merry in an drinking-house , it is suspected they haue had bad returne , or else haue payd some old score , or else they are banke-rupts : they are creatures soone vp , & soone downe . 24. Scauengers and Goldfinders . THese two keep al clean , the one the streetes , the other the backe-sides , but they are seldom clean them selues , the one like the hang man doth his worke all by day , the other like a theife , doeth their's in the night : the Gold-finders hold the sense of smelling the least of vse , and do not much care for touching the businesse they haue in hand , they both carry their burdens out into the ●ieldes , yet sometimes the Tha●es carries away their loads : they are something like the Trade of the Barbars , for both doe rid away superfluous excrements The Barbers profession is held chiefe , because that deales with the head and face , but these with the excrements of the posteriorums . The Barbers trade & these haue both very strong smels , but the Gold-finders is the greatest for strength , the others is safest & sweetest : the Barber vseth washing when hee hath done , to cleanse all , and so do these : the Barber vseth a looking glass , that men may see how he hath done his work , and these vse a candle : they are all necessary in the City : as our faces would bee foule without the Barber , so our streets without the Scauenger , and our back-sides with out the Gold-finder : The Scauenger seemes not to be so great an Officer , as the Gold-finder , for he deales with the excrements chiefly of Beasts , but this latter of his owne Species : well , had they beene sweeter fellowes I would haue stood longer on them , but they may answer , they keepe all cleane , and do that worke which scarse any one but themselues would meddle withall . The Country Carbonadoed and Quartred into Characters . 1. Of the Countrey . THis is the Circumference of London : It is the Embleme of the City in Folio , and the City of it in Decimo sexto : the Country iustifies that Verse to be true , that Anglia , Mons , Pons , Fons , Ecclesia , Faemina , Luna . It doth now of late begin to complaine that the Citty offers her wrong in harboring her chiefe members of Nobility , and Gentry : her Gentry for the most part of late are growne wondrously vndutifull that will scarse otherwise then vpon compulsion , come and liue with their mother & maintayner : Shee allowes these more meanes a great deale , then shee did their Grandfathers ; yet these young Storkes flye from her ; the other alwayes liu'd with her , and lou'd her : she doth much suspect their Faith & Loue towards her , because she being as beautifull , as bountifull , as healthy , and as rich , as euer , should be thus fleighted of her yonger sonnes , yet three times or foure in a yeare , perhaps they will vouchsafe their mother their presence , but it is to be suspected , that either a publicke proclamation , or a violent plague , or to gather vp their rackerents moouethem from the City , or else the pleasure of Hawkin or Hunting , or perhaps it is to show his new Madame some pritty London bird , the credit of his fathers house , but his owne discredite to let it stand for Iack-daws to domineere in : well , this Country is the Map of the world , the bea● ty of Lands , and may wel be cal'd the rich Dyamond gloriously Plac'd ●t may be emblem'd by these 9. particulars , a faire great Church , a learned Colledge , a strong rich ship , a beautifull Woman , a golden fleece , a delightfull spring , a great mountaine , a faire bridge , & a goodly m●n , to conclude , it is the life of the City , & the store-house of al Christendome , for peace , War , Wealth , or Religion : they that will know more , must eyther trauayle to see , or reade the desription of it by Geographers . 2. Hospitality . THis true noble hearted fellow is to be dignified and honor'd , wheresoeuer he keeps house : It 's thought that pride , puritans , coache● and couetousnesse hath caused him to leaue our Land : there are sixe vpstart tricks come vp in great Houses of late which he cannot brook Peeping windowes for the Ladies to view what doings there are in the Hall , a Buttry hatch that 's kept lockt , cleane Tables , & a French Cooke in the Kitching , a Porter that lo●kes the gates in dinner time , the decay of Blacke-iackes in the Cellar , and blew coates in the Hall : he alwayes kept his greatnesse by his Charity : he loued three things , an open Cellar , a full Hall , and a sweating Cooke : he alwayes prouided for three dinners , one for himselfe , another for his Seruants , the third for the poore : any one may know where hee kept house , other by the Chimnies smoak , by the freedom at gate , by want of whirligige Iackes in the Kitchin , by the fire in the Hall , or by the full furnish'd tables ▪ he affects not London , Lent , Lackaies , or Bailifes , there are foure sorts that pray for him , the poore , the passenger , his Tenants , and Seruants : hee is one that will not hou●d vp all , nor lauishly spend all , he neyther rackes or rakes his Neighbours , they are sure of his Company at Church as wel as at home , and giues his bounty as wel to the Preacher , as to others whom hee loues for his good life and doctrine ●hee had his wine came to him by full Buts , but this Age keepes her Wine-Celler in little bottles . Lusty able men well maintayned were his delight , with whom he would be familiar : his Tenants knew when they saw him , for he kept the olde fashion , good , commendable , plaine : the poore about him wore him vppon their backes ; but now since his death , Land-lords weare and wast their Tenants vppon their backes in French , or Spanish fashions . Well , wee can say that once such a charitable Practitioner there was , but now hee 's dead , to the griefe of all England : And t is shroudly suspected that hee will neuer rise againe in our Climate . 3. Enclosures . THe Land-lords that inclose their Villages , are affraid that either the Townc , or the Land would runne away , or rebell against them . Therefore they b●leaguer it with deep Trenches and Thorn-roots for Palliz●does : they could not make th●ir Trenches so easily , if all wer●●ue within : But the person he is like a false Canoniere , that came by his place by Simoniacke meanes , and perhaps is sworne , either not to molest the enemie at all : or else if hee doth giue fire , either to shoote ouer , or short , or vpon the side , neuer direct : or else he is poore , couetous , hopes to haue some crackt chamber-mayde , or some by preferment , and so giues leaue to the exacting Landlord to doe as hee pleases . In this businesse the Landlord he is as Lord-general , the Person is as his Horse that he rides , galls , spurres on , and curuetts with as h● pleases : turnes him and rules him any way , by a golden Bit , a strong hand , and ticking Spurres . The Bayliffe is his Intelligencer , which if hee was either strapt , or hang'd outright it was no great matter for his newes . The Surueyor is his Quartermaster , which goes like a Beare with a Chaine at his side , his two or three of the Parishoners , who walke with him , and helpe him to vndoe themselues . The poore of the Parish and other places are his chiefe Pioneres , who like mouldy Worps cast vp e●rth ▪ the Parish hee eyther winnes by Composition , or famishes by length of time , or batters downe by force of his lawlesse Engines : Most of the Inhabitants are miserably pillaged and vndone , he loues to see the bounds of his boundlesse desires ; hee is like the Diuell , for they both compasse the earth about : Enclosures make fat Beasts , & leane poore people ; there are three annoyancers of his Flocke , the Scab , Thieues , and a long Rotte : Husband-men hee loues not , fot he maintaines a few sheph●ards with their Curres . Hee holds those that plough the land cr●ell oppressors , for they wound it hee thinkes too much , & therefore he intends to lay it downe to rest : Well , this I say of him , that when hee keepes a good house constantly , surely the World will not last long : There 's many one that prayes for the end of the one , and I wish it may bee so . 4. Tenants by Lease . THere compasse ordinarily is three Prentishippes in length , one and twenty yeares . Once in halfe a yeare they must bee sure to prepare for payment . New-yeares day must not passe ouer without a presentation of a gift : If the Land-lord bee either rich , good , religious , or charitable , hee feasts their bodies ere Christmas runne away . If they see the Ladies or Gentlewomen , or my Ladies Parrat , Babone , or Monkey , you may know what their talke is of with wonder when they come home againe : many fill their Tenants bodies once , but empty their purses all the yeare long . They take it for no small grace , when the Groome , or the Vnder-cooke , or some such great Officer conuay them to the Buttry to drinke , they haue done Knights ●eruice , if they haue drunke to the ●ppermost Gentlewoman : And it 's a maruaile if they they stand not vp to performe this point of Seruice , or else blush a quarter of an houre after ; they ●eeme merry , for most eate simpering : They dare not dislike any meate , nor scarce venter vpon a dish that hath not lost the best face or piece before it come thither , many of them Suppe better at home , then they Dine here : It 's their owne folly . Hee seemes to bee a Courtier compleate , that hath the witte or the face to call for Beere at the Table : their Land-lord fetches their Charges out of them ere halfe the yeare passe , by getting them to fetch Coale , Wood , or Stone , or other burthens to his House . The Land-lord , Bayly , and other Informers are so cunning , that the Tenants shall but liue to keep Life and Soule together , if through Pouerty and hard Rents they forfeit not their Leases . You may know where they liue ordinarily , for Leases runne now with this clause vsually i● them , they must not let or sell away their right to another . Well , he that hath a good Land-lord , a firme Lease , and good ground , prayes for his owne life , and Landlords ▪ and wishes hee had had a longer time in his Lease . 5. Tenants at will. THese are Continuers onely vpon their Maisters pleasure ▪ their owne behauiour , or ability . They are men that will take short warning a quarter of a yeare , they are like poore Curats in the Countrey that stand at the old Parsons Liber●m arbitrium . They must study how to please before they speake ; when they are discharged , they are like Souldiers casheir'd , both want a place of stay or preferment , as they depart suddenly , so they are sure to pay extremly : they are not vnlike courtiers , for they often change places : their Land-Lords loue to bee vppon a sure ground with them , for vsually they 'le haue their Rents before hand , if they come not to bee censured for inmates they may abide the longer , they must alwaies bring security where they intend to stay : London is one of the freest places for their aboad , without questioning them what they are , for if they pay for their lodging and other charges , they neede not remooue : they are like vnto Seruants gone vppon a discharge , and they should reckon their places of abode , no h●ritage : If they be imploy'd in worke , and if they will stay at it , they are then most likely to hold their house the longer : they are a degre aboue a beggar , and one vnder a Tenant by Lease : many of them will not stay too long in a place , lest they should being ▪ ill , be too wel known : vppon their iournies many prooue true Carriers , for they beare their goods , Children and some houshold st●ffe : wel , they are Tenants at wil , but whither good or bad , you that would know must aske their Land-lord or them . I wish that yet they may come to be Snailes , haue an house of their owne , ouer their heads . Winter 's the worst quarter to them to shift in . 6. Countrey Schoolemaisters . IF they be well Gound & Bearded , they haue two good Apologies ready made ; but they are beholden to the Taylor and Barber for both : if they can p●ouide for two pottles of Wine against the next Lectu●e-day , the Schoole being voyde , there are great hopes of preferment : if he gets the place , his care next must be for the demeanure of his Countenance ; hee lookes ouer his Schollers with as great and graue a countenance , ( as the Emperour ouer his Army : ) He wil not at first be ouer-busie to examine his V●her , for feare hee should prooue as many Curats , better Schollers then the chiefe master . As he sits in his seate , hee must with a grace turne his Muc●atoes vp ; his Scepter lyes not farre from him , the Rod : He vses Marshall law most , and the day of execution ordinarily is the Friday : at ●ixe a clocke his army all beginne to march ; at eleauen they keepe Rendeuouz , and at fiue or sixe at night , they take vp their quarters : There are many set in Authority to teach youth , which neuer had much learning themselues ; therefore if hee cannot teach them , yet his lookes and correction shal affright them : But there are some who deserue the place by their worth , and wisdome , who stayd with their Mother the Vniuersity , vntill Learning , Discretion , and Iudgement had ripened them , for the well managing of a Schoole : these I loue , respect , and wish that they may haue good means eyther here , or somewhere else : These come from the Sea of Learning , well furnished with rich prizes of Knowledge , and excellent qualities , ballasted they are wel with gra●ity and iudgement , well ster'd by Rel●gion & a good conscience ; and these abi●ities make them the onely fit men to gouerne and instruct tender age ; he learnes the Cradle to 〈◊〉 seueral languages & ●its them for places of publicke note : being thus qualified , 't is pitty hee should eyther want meanes or imployment . 7. Country Vshers . THEY are vnder the Head-maister , equall with the chiefe Schollers , and aboue the lesser boyes : hee is likely to stay two yeares before hee can furnish himselfe with a good cloake : They are like vnto Lapwings run away from the Vniuersity , their Nest , w●th their shels on their heads . Metriculation was an hard terme for him to vnderstand : and if he proceeded it was in Tenebris : the Chancellors Seale and Lycense for the place , is a great grace to him : At a Sermon you shall see him writing , but if the diuision of the Text be expressed in Latine termes , then hee could not eyther heare , or not vnderstand , and só oftentimes looses the diuision of the Text : it 's no small credite for him to sit at the neather end of the Table with the Ministers ; he seldome speaks there amongst them , vnlesse like a nouice he be first asked , and then hee expresses his weaknesse boldly : he goes very far , if he dare stay to drinke a cup of Ale when one houre is past : His discourse ordinarily is of his exployts when he went to Schoole : hee hath learn'd enough in the Vniuersity , if hee knowes the Figures , and can Repeate the Logicall Moods : vsually he makes his Sillogismes in Baralipton , if hee can make any : Hee holds Greeke for a Heathen language , and therefore neuer intends to learne it : for Lati●e , his blacke cloathes are sufficient proofes to the Country-fellowes , that he is wel furnisht : For Hebrew it would pose him hard to make a difference in writing betwixt Hebraeus and Ebrius ; in a word , he is but a great Schoole boy with a little Beard and blackecloathes , and knowes better how to whippe a Scholler then learne him : if hee had beene fit for any thing in the Vniuersity , hee had not left her so soone : Yet I confesse there are some that deserue better preferment then this , yet accept of it ; but its pitty that Virtu● and Learning are so slightly regarded , and that so rich a iewell should bee no better plac'd . 8. Country Chaplaines . THey must do as Marygolds , immitate their Master , as these do the Sun : they are men of Grace before and after Dinner and Supper ; they are men that seeme desirous of preferment , for they rise before their Lord and Maister : their habite is neate , cleanly , if not too curious it s wel . In a well gouern'd house , they performe praier twice a day , to be commended for , because it showes and teaches Zeale , Godlinesse . Their Sermons are not long , but generally good & pithy ▪ their Lords Respect and fauour , makes the Seruants to Respect and loue them ; graue modesty and Learning , with an affable carriage , winnes them regard and Reuerence : the more priuate their persons be , the mo●e publicke their prayse : Their Studies generally are their best Closets , and their Books their best Counsellors : Such as these deserue to bee made o● ▪ but there are others of the same profession , yet much different in Nature , who striue to satisfie and please , euen by smothering , counter●etting , or immitating , their Maisters faults , and loue the strong Beere Cellar , or a Wine-tauerne more then their Studies : whose ambition is to bee conuersant with the Gentle woemen , and now and then to let an oath slippe with a grace ; whose acquaintance and familiarity is most with the Butler , and their care to slippe to an Ale-house vnseene , with the Seruants . Their allowance is good if it bee 20. Marke , and their Dyet . If they bee Married they must be more obsequious and industrious to please , if they come ●ingle , it 's a thousand to one but they either bee in Loue or Married before they goe away : I honour both Lord and Chaplaine , when they are Godly , and Religious ; but I dislike , when either the Lord will not bee told of his faults , or the Chaplaine will not , or dare not : I loue the life when Zeale , Learning and Grauity are the gifts of the Preacher . But I dislike it , when by respects Conniuency or Ignorance with Pride keepe the Chappell . If they be wise , they will keepe close , till they haue the Aduouson of a Liuing , the better they are liked of their Master , and the more store he hath of Liuings , they haue the more hopes of a presentation . It 's a great Vertue in their Patrone if hee doe not geld it , or lessen it before they handle it . 9. Ale-houses . IF these houses haue a Boxe-Bush , or an old Post , it is enough to show their Profeshion . But if they bee graced with a Signe compleat , it 's a signe of good custome : In these houses you shall see the History of Iudeth , Susan●a , Daniel in the Lyons Den , or Diues & Laz●rus paint●d vpon the Wall ▪ It may bee reckoned a wonder to see , or find the house empty , for either the Parson , Churchwarde● , or Clark , or all ; are doing some Church or Court-businesse vsually in this place . They thriue best where there are fewest ; It is the Host's chiefest pride to bee speaking of such a Gentleman , or such a Gallant that was here , and will bee againe ere long : Hot weather and Thunder , and want of company are the Host●sses griefe , for then her Ale sowres : Your drinke vsually is very young , two daies olde : her chiefest wealth is seene , if she can haue one brewing 〈◊〉 another : if ei●her the Hostesse , or her D●ughter , or Maide will kisse handsomely at parting , it is a good shooing-Horne or Bird-lime to draw the Company thither againe the sooner . Shee must bee Courteous to all , though not by Nature , yet by her Profession ; for shee must entertaine all , good and bad ; Tag , and Rag ; Cut , and Long-tayle : Shee suspects Tinkers and poore Souldiers most , not that they will not drinke soundly , but that they will not pay lustily . Shee must keepe touch with three sorts of men , that is ; the Malt-man , the Baker , and the Iustices Clarkes . Shee is merry , and halfe made , vpon Shroue-tuesday , May-daies , Feast-dayes , and Morrice dances : A good Ring of Bells in the Parish helpes her to many a Tester , she prayes the Parson may not be a Puritan : a Bag-piper , and a Puppet-play brings her in Birds that are flush , shee defies a Wine-tauerne as an vpstart outlandish fellow , and suspects the Wine to bee poysoned . Her Ale , if new , lookes like a misty Morning , all thicke ; well , if her Ale bee strong , her reckoning right , her house cleane , her fire good , her face faire , and the Towne great or rich ; shee shall seldome or neuersit without Chirping Birds to beare her Company , and at the next Churching or Christning , shee is sure to be ridd of two or three dozen of Cakes and Ale by Gossiping Neighbours . 10. Apparators . SPirituall busines is their Profession , but Carnall matters are their gaine and reuenewes . The sinnes of the Laity holds them vp , Ember-weekes , Visitations and Court-dayes shew their Calling and Imployment , then shall you see them as quicke as Bees in a Sommer day : Surrogates , the Arch-deacon , and the Chancellor , they dare not offend : they liue vpon Intelligence ; they haue much businesse with the Church-wardens and Sides-men , they ride well furnish't with Citations , and sometime Excommunications : They are glad if they can heare of any one that teaches Schoole , or read Prayers in that Diocesse without a speciall Licence , they are to Peccant Wenches , as bad Scar-crowes , as Bailiffes be to desperate Debtors . The Curate must reade Prayers on Wednesdayes and Fridayes formaliter , sub paena of a further Charge : they are sworne to their Office before admitted , but being admitted , oftentimes they dispense with the Oath : sometimes they haue eyes , and are tongue-tyed ; sometimes they haue tongues , and are blind : But without Fees they will see too much , and speake more ; and fetch men into their Courts with a Coram nomine . Yet though they doe much abuse their office , they make many affraide to sinne , either for feare o● shame , punishment , or charges : Whatsoeuer shift a man or woman make for monies , yet they are sure to pay for their faultes here . And if hee bee any thing in Age , th●n in the Court hee weares a furr'd Gowne , and ordinarily cryes Peace , peace there , when in his heart he means no such matter . 〈◊〉 are like a company of stragling Sheepe , or vnruly Goates , for they will neuer agree , or bee vnder one Shephard . Most commonly when they go to the Visitation , they Ride on poore Iades , and their accoutrements an old Saddle , one Stirrope , a Spur without a Rowell , a blacke boxe , and an Office Seale : if the Wench that 's in fault , want monies to pay her Fees , they 'le take their penny-worths in flesh : Well , their Office is none of the best , and yet is it oftentimes too good for the Maister . When all Wenches prooue Honest , they may begge , but as long as Venus Rules , they will bee sure to finde imployment . 11. Constables . THere names imply that they should be constant and able for the discharge of their Office : They haue the command of foure places of note , the Stockes , the Cage , the Whipping post , and the Cucking-stoole : they appoynt & command the Watch-men with their rusty Bils to walke Circuit ; and doe also send hue and cryes af●er Male ▪ factors . They are much imployed in foure occasions ; at Musters , at pressing foorth of Souldiers , at quarter Sessions , and Assizes : their Office many times make them proud and crafty : if they bee angry with a poore man , hee is sure to be prefer'd vpon the next Seruice : The Ale houses had best hold correspondency with them : they are Bug-beares to them that wander without a Passe . Poore Souldiers are now and then helpt to a Lodging by their meanes : They 'le visit an Ale-house vnder colour of Search , but their desire is to get Beere of the Company , and then if they be but meane men , they Master them ; and they answere them , Come pay , with this vsuall Phrase , yo● ●re not the men wee ▪ 〈◊〉 for ; and demand of the Hostesse if shee haue 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 in her h●uing got their de●re , they 〈◊〉 with this Comple●ent ▪ 〈◊〉 if 〈◊〉 businesse 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , we would 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 we must 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 pl●ces vp● 〈◊〉 , it is ▪ 〈◊〉 ▪ 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 King ▪ and so 〈◊〉 with the 〈◊〉 of the hone● Com●ny , & laughter 〈◊〉 them● . It 's a 〈◊〉 to one if they 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ▪ but they will 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Bills 〈◊〉 sixe● ▪ and 〈◊〉 downe layd 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 such matter ; a fine tricke to get money by their place . They should seeme to bee either very poore , or couetous , or crafty men ; for they put their Charges alw●ies vpon the Parish : If an accompt happen to bee among the Pari●hioners when such a thing , or such a thing was done ; they 'le answere , in the same yeare , o● there abouts , I was Constable , in thinking thereby to set forth their owne Credit . I lea●e them , wishing them to bee good in their Offic● , it is not long they h●ue to stay in it . 12. Currant●es ●r ●eekly Newes . THese commonly begin with Vienna and end wi●h Antwerpt : The Spanish & French affaires must not be left out : The three names that grace their Letters , are the Sweds , Tillies , or Imperialists : ordinarily they haue as many Leyes as Lines , they vse to lye ( as weather-beaten Souldiers ) vpon a Booke-bi●ders stall , they are new and old in si●e dayes : they are busie fellows , for they meddle with other mens Affaires : No Pope , Emp●rour , or King , but must bee touched by their pen : Nay they vse to interline some great exploit at Sea betwixt the Hollander and D●nkerker , or else betwixt the Hollander and Spaniard , at the Cape or the straights of Magellan , and vsually they conclude with this Phrase , The Admirall or Vice-Admirall of our side , gaue a ●road side to the vtter ouer throw of the Spaniard , with so many men hurt , such a Rich prize taken , such a Ship sunke , or fired : Being faithfully translated out of the Dutch coppy , with the first and second Part , like Ballads . And these are all conceites ordinarily , which their owne idle braine , or busie fancies , vpon the blockes in Paules , or in their Chambers inuented : They haue vsed this trade so long , that now euery one can say , it s euen as true as a Currantoe , meaning that it 's all false . Now Swedens and the Emperors War in Germany , is their Store-house , with how 〈◊〉 , Hamburgh , Leipsich , Breame , and the other Hans-Townes affect the Kings Maiesties procee-●dings : If a Towne be Beleagured , or taken , then they neuer take care , but how they may send thei● Leyes fast enough , and far enough : Well , they are politicke , not to be descried , for they are asham'd to put their names to their Books . If they write good Newes of our side , it is seldome true ; but if it be bad , it 's alwayes almost too true . I wish them eyther to write not at all , or lesse , or more true ; the best newes is when we heare no Newes . FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A06473-e30 Lieutenant Coronell Goring . Notes for div A06473-e1010 The lash . Lice . Syon Col ledg ner● CripleGat● .