Poor Robins Character of France, or, France painted to the life in a brief dialogue of the description of that nation, their manners, customs, complements, language, discourse &c. : as also, an exact character of the city of Paris, of their gentry, peasants, women &c. / by Poor Robin ... Poor Robin. 1666 Approx. 69 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 16 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2006-06 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A55410 Wing P2878 ESTC R8615 13736675 ocm 13736675 101631 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A55410) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 101631) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 847:13) Poor Robins Character of France, or, France painted to the life in a brief dialogue of the description of that nation, their manners, customs, complements, language, discourse &c. : as also, an exact character of the city of Paris, of their gentry, peasants, women &c. / by Poor Robin ... Poor Robin. Winstanley, William, 1628?-1698. 31 p. [s.n.], London : 1666. "Attributable to Winstanley or his imitators"--cf. DNB. Reproduction of original in Huntington Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng France -- Description and travel. France -- Description and travel -- Early works to 1800. Paris (France) -- Description and travel. 2005-08 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2005-08 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2006-01 Emma (Leeson) Huber Sampled and proofread 2006-01 Emma (Leeson) Huber Text and markup reviewed and edited 2006-04 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion POOR ROBIN'S CHARACTER OF FRANCE : OR , FRANCE Painted to the Life . IN A BRIEF DIALOGUE OF THE Description of that Nation , their Manners , Customs , Complements , Language , Discourse , &c. AS ALSO , An exact Character of the City of Paris , of their Gentry , Peasants , Women , &c. By POOR ROBIN , Knight of the Burnt-Island , a Well willer to the French Taylors . London , Printed in the Year 1666. To the Judicious READERS . Gentlemen , I Here present you with a Dish of Dainties , I assure you you no Kickshaws , though drest after the French mode . To describe that people aright , a man must have in him extraordinary of the Mimmick , and therefore I would desire the Reader in the perusal of these Lines , to adde to them something of action ; for it is impossible to personate a French-man aright , unless he with it play the Antick : My request therefore is to all those who shall read this ●ook in Taverns , Ale-houses , or Coffee-houses , to have a special care therein , that I may not be murthered in my own Lines , but to adde to it a graceful shaking of the head , drawing back the legs , and thrusting out the shoulders , and then it will be ala mode France . If all the humors I have writ of them do not suit patt to the Nation the same time you read this , you must impute it to the fickleness of those people , whose inconstancy is such , that let me now write never so real a truth of their Garb or Clothes , though the Author and Printer make all the haste imaginable , they will be in another fashion before the Book can be published , that a Taylor may as well take measure of a Garment for the Moon , as an Author to describe the Habits and Fashions of that People . So now Reader , having told you at the door how you are to behave your self , if you please walk in and see the Show . POOR ROBIN'S CHARACTER OF FRANCE . English-man . GOod morrow , Monsieur . French-man . Tres humble Serviteur , Monsieur . English-man . What makes you stirring so early this morning ? French-man . No ting , but me owe de leetle mony to de Hoastess , and de pocky-hora vill no stay , but send vor de Shargeant , dat scare me worss den de Tiffell ; begar me sooner see de Tiffel den de Shargeant , me be de sush Bird vas vill no sing in de Cage : fish vay sall me take to be safe ? me mus come no near de Hoastess , me goe in de France , den futra vor de Shargeant . English-man . And what Calling do you intend when you come into France ? French-man . Ah , me have de brava Calling in de Varle , me play ode Fidle , me teash a to Dance , O so rare , so rare ! begar London vill de undone when me be in de France : Begar you no ave de autre man in all de Shitty so brave fellow as me selfe ; yet begar me no shuse but run , de pocky Shargeant doe scare a me so . English-man . Indeed a Fidler in France is a man of a very high repute , for I remember about five years ago being in your Countrey at a town not far distant from Orleans , whilest I and the rest of my company ( amongst which was a Fille de Joy of Paris ) were at Dinner , there entred into our Room three of these uncouth fellows , with Flats on their heads like cover'd Dishes , and in such a garb as our Countrey-men use to clothe Poles wherewith to affrighten Crows from eating their Corn , being for the most part pinn'd together , and the rest fastened with here and there a stitch , so that they were a la mode de Tatterdemallion . At the first sight of them I cast one eye on my Cloak , and the other on my Sword , as not knowing what occasion I might have of the one , to desend the other ; for by their insol●nt int●nsion and sa●cy boldness , I could not imagine them to be other than Thieves : but when I took a more strict survey of their Apparrel , I soon alter'd that opinion , and rather guess'd them to be the Excrement of a Prison , though it soon appeared that I was alike deceived in my thoughts , they being neither better nor worse than errant Fidlers . These fellows , though such as we in England should not hold worthy of the Whipping-post , without leave , and without reverence on their parts performed , fell to their work , abusing our ears with such an harsh Lesson , that one of our School-boys playing on the Jews-Trump compared to this , might have been taken for the Musick of the Spheres : but as if this had not been punishment enough unto us , they must needs adde to it one of their Songs , but then how did I bless my self in the remembrance of our Ballad-singers when they Chant the Tunes of In Summer time , and Ch●vy-Chase ! Now though I understood not French perfectly yet by that little I had , and the simpering of the Fille de Joy , I perceived it was Bawdy , yea , such as could not patiently be endured by any but a French-man . French-man . Begar you be de Rouge to speak sush ting of de French-man , no peeple in de varle dat do sing like unto dem ; begar me should by de prate tink dat dis drunk , but dat me no see stagger . English man. But Monsieur , give me leave to proceed in my Story : what to do to be rid of these fellows I knew not , for I knew not how to call them Rogues handsomly in French , and for other Languages they understood none , and to beat them , they were Villains of such an inferior quality , as indeed was not worthy of mine or any honest mans anger ; a knot of Rascals so infinitely below the severity of a Statute , that they would have discredited the Stocks ; and to have hang'd them , as it would have hazarded the reputation of the Gallowes , so it would have been unprofitable to the Executioner , their Clothes being onely fit for the Rag-woman ; it would have puzzled a man in a whole years time to have studied a Vengeance for them which they would not have injured , in the suffering the greatest torment one could inflict on them , being not to hearken to their Ribaldry . But to proceed , after their Song was ended , one of them pulled a Dish out of his pocket , and set it before us , into which we were to cast our Benevolence , which by custom ( you know Monsieur ) is but but onely a Soll from every man ; such a rare Calling it is to be a Fidler in France ! French-man . Begar me be no sush Fidler , me be de Mushishaner , dat play to de Lords , to de Ladies ; me goe brave in de Parrell , me kish de Shamber-maid , me lye wid de Kitchen-Wensh , but if me get her wid Shilde , O Diabolo , vat sall become of me den ? English-man . It is but shifting into another Countrey , you know Fidlers and Beggars are never out of their Sphere . I suppose it is impossible for you to be lowsie you shift so often . French-man . Begar me go to Parry de brav● Shitty in de varle , dis Shitty is no compare wid Parry , no more den de Bushers knife is wid a long Tord . English-man . Indeed Monsieur your Comparison is very suitable , if by your last word you mean Paris , as I suppose you do ; the onely stink of which place being a greater strength unto it , and more powerful to keep out an Enemy , than the Ditches or Bullwarks round about it ; well therefore may it be said to be the strongest Town in Christendom , if we take the word ( strong ) in that sense , as when we say , such a man hath a strong breath ; for otherways it is so weak , that if the stink of the streets keep him not out , there is no assurance to be looked for of the Walls : But that which is most admirable , is , that in such a perpetuated constancy of stinks , there is also such an admirable and distinct variety , that a Chymical Nose after two or three perambulations , would hunt out b●inde-fold , each several street by the smells , as perfectly as another by his eye in a serene Skie at noon day . French man. Par ma foy de tell loud lye , begar Parry is so brava dat no express it , begar be Son of Debastalder to say Parry tinks , when it is sweet as de Rose , and de brava Houses in de varle . English-man . I confess your Houses in Paris are very handsom to the street-ward , but for the Furniture within , they come very much behind ours ; the French men most commonly carrying all their wealth on their back , so that when they are in their best Clothes , they may be said to be in the middle of their Estates , when the poorest Trades man in London hath his Plate to drink in , and is served up with his Pewter-dishes of several sorts , your Artisans of Paris coming so far behinde them , that they would be glad of meat ( could they but reach to the price of it ) although it were in a Wooden Dish . French-man . Begar de Artisan of Parry be de brava fellow , de Engliss Taylor be noting , de make Breech vit vor de Plough-man , 't is not ala mode France : De France Taylor trick de Clown up so rara , make him zhow like de Gentil-man . De Engliss Barber Trim make man like de Goate . English-man . The French Barber trims so as makes a man look like a Monkey , come Monsieur I must help you out with it : You French men are indeed excellent fellows for Toys , very perfect at Tooth-picks , Beard-brushes , and Gentle womens Fans ; but in other more substantial Trades how infinitely short do you come of the English ? Your Cutlers make such abominable and fearful Knives , as would grieve a mans heart to see them , enough almost to make one loathe the Victuals that should be cut by such mis-shapen Instruments . And your Glovers are worse than your Cutlers , for you would imagine by their Gloves , that the hand for which they were made , were cut off by the wrist . And what excellent workmen your Painters are , may be seen by the Signes hanging over each door in Paris for a distinguishment , as with us at London : but so hideously are these made , and so little resembling the thing signified , that if a Hen did not scrape better Pourtraitures on a Dunghil , I would be bound to eat no other meat but of a French paisant womans dressing during life , which would be a torment next to starving ; very convenient therefore is it that they have it printed in Capital Letters under every Sign what it is , for fear the Spectators should take a Cock for a Bull , or a Pigg for a Goss-hawk . French-man . Me can no longra endure to heare Parry de brave Shitty in de varle to be so degraste . English-man . A brave City indeed , and of a strange composition , wherein a man cannot live in the Summer for fear of being poisoned with the stink , nor in the Winter for the like danger of being mired with the dirt . French-man . Begar if de speak so false of Parry de brava Shitty , vat will de den doe of de Countrey ! English-man . For your Countrey , I must confess indeed the soyl thereof is enough plentiful , stored with Corn , Beasts , and Fowls ; but alas , what is that to the poor peasant , who onely beholdeth it with his eyes , seldom or never so much as tasting it with his mouth ; a Capon or Rabbit being almost as unlawful for these miserable Creatures to eat , as it was in the Old Law for any but the Priests to eat Shew-bread . I believe one of your Countrey Taylors has but an ordinary Trade with them , they thinking themselves happy if in their apparel they can but mount to Canvass , for woollen Cloth is beyond the reach of their purse , and he that aspires to Fustain , will not stick to justle for the best place in the Parish , even to that of the Church-warden : For Hats they will be sure to have them , though their Bellies pinch for it , and that it may appear they have them , they alwayes keep them on their heads . I suppose they are great Enemies to Hosiers and Shooe-makers , because they seldom wear any Shooes or Stocking ; , but such as Nature furnishes them withal , unless it be on some principal Holy-day , when they will be sure to go to Church . French-man . Vat dis de speak of de p●isant , begar de paisant be de Clown in all Country , but de France Gentilman is de brave Gentilman in de varle . English-man . What is spoken of your Nation in general , that they are won with a Feather , and lost with a straw , may more particularly be applyed to these your de brave Gentil men , who at fi●st sight will be as familiar with you as your sleep , and follow you as doth your shadow ; but upon the least distaste , for a word speaking they will draw their sword : They are brave fellows at a first On-set , begin an action like thunder , and end it in a smoke , at the first encounter more than men , in the close thereof less than women . They are very Complemental , and full of their Court Cringes , without which none is accounted a Gentil-man . At my first coming to Paris , one of these Monsieurs add essed himself to me , carrying his head as if he had been ridden with a Martingal , then did he draw back his legs , and thrust out his shoulders in such a ridiculous posture , that made my Worship to laugh heartily to see the Ape out-done by the French-man . French-man . Begar me can forbeare no longra , de Rouge , de Rascal , de Jack-napes , compare de France-man ala moda , to de Ape , begar fleesh , blood , speerit , na de Saule can no suffer dis ; par ma foy de thrush Tord in de heart bleed if de speak dis . English-man . Monsieur , not so angry , we know the temper of your Country-men well enough , though you will draw the Sword on the least distaste , a minutes pause sheathes it again , then if a man beats you into better manners you will take it kindly , kiss your hand , and cry Serviteur . I must confess at first when I came to Paris , I did much admire the gallantry of your Nation , thinking no place in the world comparable to it for Nobility and Gentry , until at last one foul mistake rectified my judgement , which was this : There came to visit a Scotch Lord of my acquaintance a French Gallant , who had on him a Sute of Turky Grogram doubled with Taffata , ●●asht after the French fashion , and belayed with Bugle-lace , a Shirt of pure Holland appearing through the openings of his Doublet , which was likewise wrought with curious Needle-work ; the Points at his Waste and Knees ( for so the fashion there then was ) alledged with a Silver-edging ; his Garters , Roses , and Hat-band sutable to his Points ; a Beaver Hat , and a pair of Silk-stockings ; his Cloak also of Turky Grogram cut upon black Taffaty . This man by his Habit I guessed to be no less than a Lord , ( for who would have imagined Aesops Fable to have been a real truth , that the Ass was drest up in the Lyons skin ) and according to the man that I imagined him to be , I gave him the Stile of My Lord at every word . After some discourse , he seeing me to clap a Handkerchief to my cheek , and to make a kinde of a sowre face , asked me what I ailed ? I told him I was very much troubled with the Tooth-ache . Alas , said he , that is a grievous pain , but ca●l on me at my Lodging the next morning , and I shall presently give you ease : I humbly thanked his Lordship for such an immense favor , with the greatest obeysance I could devise ; and the next morning somewhat before the time appointed , sent my servant for a Barber to trim me and make me neat , because I could not tell what occasion I might have of seeing his Lady , or his Daughters . This Messenger chanced to happen on his Lordship , who was no other than a Barber ; but when I saw him come in with his Apron before him , and pulling a Case of Instruments out of his pocket , bless me ! I thought I should have split my self with laughing , had not the consideration of my own folly , of being so obeysant to him the night before , something restrained me . His Lordship , though he guessed the cause of my extraordinary mirth , yet fell to work about me , to the earning of a Quardesou , and indeed he was very dexterous in his Art , and soon made my Chin ala mode ; then would he have proceeded to to the pulling out of my Tooth , but the pain being now something abated , I told his Lordship I would retain it in my head a little longer : wherefore pocketing up his Quardesou , with a low cringing , and less courtesie on my part than before , his Lordship departed . French-man . Begar dat vas brave , de France Barber couzen de Engliss-man , begar me no shuse but laugh till de burss : O de France Barbers be de brave fellows in de varle , but where den did thee goe ven de went from Parry ? English-man . A Friend and I having a great desire to see the Countrey , we took Post-horse , intending for Amiens , but might as good have been mounted on a Post , as on such Jades ; as lean they were as Envy is by the Poets feigned to be , having neither flesh on their bones , nor skin on their flesh , nor hair on their skin ; neither was it so alone , that their bones might be numbred through their skin , but the Spur-galls had made such Casements in their flesh , that an ordinary Farrier might have known what Diseases they were troubled with , by surveying their Entrails . They were very easie to be mounted , and there was no great fear of melting them by over-riding , surely Don Quixot's Rozinante was a horse of State to either of these . Being thus mounted , and galloping a foot pace , in twelve hours we had ridden fourteen miles ; night coming on , and a pretty big Town just before us , we resolved to lodge there , whert enquiring for one of the chief Inns , we were directed to the skelliton of a House , which in England would scarcely have passed for an Ale-house , and yet there it was an Inn , ay , and an honorable one too : Alighting at the door , the Hoast of the house came out unto us , at first sight I took him to be one of the three Fidlers I told you of before , a pitiful ragged , shabby fellow . French-man . Dat is no honest to de grase French Inns , de base Guest dat raile on de Hoast ; begar de French Inns be more good den de Engliss Inns , ver in de French Inns is de brave vine , but in de Engliss Inns is no ting but de Beere English-man . But Monsieur , notwithstanding your Wine , I suppose our ordinary Ale-houses are a story higher praise worthy than your Inns , as may appear by the description of this , and by which you may give a guess at the rest . No sooner were we alighted , but our Hoast ( the ragged fellow I told you of before ) conducted us to a room , somewhat resembling a Charnel-house , being full as dark and as dampish ; on one side whereof was a pretty big hole , which formerly had been a Glass-window , but the Glass being gone it was for the most part stopped up with Pease straw : In this room was the resemblance of three Beds , for by their description you will say it was improper to call them Beds ; the foundation of them was of straw , which not having been shifted in many a year , it was so infinitely thronged together , that the Wooll-packs which our Judge sit on in the Parliament , were melted Butter to them . Upon this lay a large Bag containing a Medley of Flocks and Feathers , but so ill ordered , that they stuck out of the sides like to the knobs of a Crab-tree Cudgel ; the Sheets on those Beds were party per pale , a mean betwixt white and black , and so course , that a Mariner would have disdained to have used them for a Sayl ; the Coverlets were alike answerable to the rest of the Bedding , here a hole , and there a patch , and for Curtains and Valances , my Landlady had disrobed the Beds of them two years before , to make she and the kinde natured Gentleman her Husband , Clothes of them . French-man . Begar if de make Cloase of de Curtans a●d de Vaylance , den de look like de Jack Pudding . English man. Having taken a view of the Furniture of this Room , seeing every thing so nasty , I supposed it was impossible to finde any Victuals there ; and that if our horses were the Pictures of Envy , this place was the Receptacle of Famine : But see how I was mistaken in my thoughts ! for my Hoastess ( whose head was wrapped about with a dirty Dish-clout ) had for our Suppers cut the throat of a Pullet , and tearing it in pieces with her hands , she after that took away Feathers and Skin together , stripping it as we strip Rabbets in England , then clapping it into a Pan , it was soon fryed and set upon the Table ; the Napery belonging to which was suitable to the Bedding , as foul and as dirty , my Landlady being so provident a Creature , she would not have it worn out with often washing . The Napkins were fit companions for the Clothes , which would rather foul ones fingers with whiping on them , than make them clean . French-man . Begar she were de Slu●t dat no w●sh Linnen till de tink , par ma foy de Shade va●●d bin hanged ; bega● me could raile on her out of all de cry . English-man Nay Monsieur , you may as well rail on the rest as on this , for though some few of your Inns be not altogether so wretched , yet is the alteration almost insensible . French-man . Begar de lye dere be brave Inns in France , in Paris , in Roven , &c. one , twa , tre stories high , where de Hoast goe like de Gentilman , and de Hoastess like de Madam . English man. I speak not of your Inns in Paris , nor some other great Cities , but of those in the Countrey , which are generally such as this , and therefore Monsieur , give me leave to go on in my Story . The Meat being on the Board , we fell unto it , hunger making us the better able to digest the Nastiness of the Cookery : After Supper , desirous to go to Bed to refresh our Bodies , weary with riding on those tyred Jades , we called for a Chamberlain , but you might a good have spoken Greek to them , none of them understanding what a Chamberlain was : at last came a fellow with some patches hanging on him , but for the most part open to the skin , who having pulled off our Boats , presently had recourse to the Coverlet to wipe them , and having rubb'd one side a little , left the other part to be finished by us if we would have it ; it was enough for him that he had written the Copy . Thus forced to make a Law of Necessity , we lay till morning , not making extraordinary haste out , lest perchance we might have lost the sight of my Hoastess and her daughters ; they were not very hard to be known , for at the first blush a stranger might swear that they were of a blood , and indeed it had bin great pity had it bin otherwise . Not to honor them with a further Character , let it suffice to know , that their persons kept so excellent a decorum with the house and furniture , that it was great pity they should be parted . French-man Begar me no vill stay if de speak so ; Oh Mordien , we sall shitt me selfe to heare do parte , and den vill they say dere is de shitten French-man . English-man . Well then , Monsieur , to take my leave of this Inn ; being about to depart , we had such a throng about us of those ill-favoured faces , and every one chiming out this Ditty , Pour les Servant , that one might with greater ease have distributed a Dole at a rich mans Funeral , than to give them a penny , their importunity , be you never so hasty , will forestal your Bounty ; yet their ambition is not so high : after all this impudent begging , they expect but a Soll , and he that gives them more out-bids their expectation , and shall be counted a Spend-thrift . French-man . Begar me vill stay no longra , de be sush time taking leave of de Inn , dat de might in dat time have rid fife , sex , sefen mile . English-man . Well then , to proceed : Being mounted , and riding very softly according to the Genius of our horses , at the end of the Town we came to a great Green , and it being then a petty Holy-day , there was assembled on the Green a Miscelany or Gallimaufry of all ages and conditions on purpose to dance . — French-man . Begar me mush speak now : O de dance , de skip , de fidele , par ma foy de brava ting in all de varle . English-man . It seems your Nation does naturally affect it , not onely the poor Peasants , but also the Gallant Monsieurs and Damoseils ; for here were assembled both Youth and Gentry , Age and Poverty , the Rags interwoven with the Silks , and wrinkled Brows interchangeably mingled with fresh Beauties . Those whom age had forced to walk with a staff in the street , here taught their feet to measure out the paces of a Dance , and others that had been long troubled with the Sciatica , though they could not trip it so nimbly , yet would enfo●●● their feet to hobble . Some of them were so ragged , you would have thought that a swift Galliard would almost have shaked them into nakedness , and yet would they venture the loosing of their Clothes for the gaining of a Dance . Nay , those whom either Age or other Infirmity had not permitted to go , yet would be carryed thither in their Chairs , to behold the Pastimes , and tread the measures with their Eyes ; to perswade them to stay at home when they heard the Fidle , was to seek to empty the Sea with a spoon , or to perswade a Lutners Love-Lady to become a Nun. — A work so great , Would make Olympus bearing Atlas sweat . French man. O de brave exercise in de varle , begar no ting is wid it de compare . O de brave shite to heare de Fidele , to see dem dance , to leap , to skip . — O dat me were amongst dem . — English-man . That which to you is so pleasing , soon wearied us , wherefore we took our leaves of them , and proceeded on in our Journey , and about Noon came to another Town somewhat bigger than a Village , and comparable to the worser sort of Market-Towns in England , distant from the place where we lay before , about five miles , ( for we rid very hard , and spared not for Horse-flesh ) here we resolved to bait both our selves and our horses , and to that purpose singled out an Inn where we expected to finde best accommodations , and indeed we thought we had found a great purchase , for there it was our fortune to meet with a Rabbet , larded it was , as all meat is in that Countrey , otherwise it is so lean it would be burnt up ere it could be roasted , it was served up with the feet on , and the reason of the custom thereof in that Country is ( I conceive ) that being a frugal Nation , they would make them go the further . The sight of this Dish gave us great content , but when we came to eat thereof , it proved so tough , that I verily think it was no more than two removes from that Rabbet which was in the Ark ; but though it proved so bad in the eating , the price thereof was good enough , no less than Half a Crown English . My Companion thought it to be very dear , but I adjudged otherwise , for certainly the Grass which fed it was worth more than eight times the money . French-man . Begar some men do tink meat is no good if dat it be no deare , par may foy vould me had it present , me could eat it , vor me is very angry . English-man . Nay Monsieur , if you be so angry that you grow quarrelsom , I shall beat you into better manners . French-man . Begar me no say quarrelsom , me be angry , dat is , me could veede on de Rappit . English-man . O cry you mercy Sir , now I understand ye , I suppose you are better to feed than to fight ; but alas , Rabbets are too dainty meat for French Peasants , for in that rank I must place ye , though now you have got on a borrowed Garb of English Feathers , but when you come amongst your fellows , you must then be glad to do as they do , your Bread of the coursest flour , and so black that it cannot admit of the name of brown , and for drink have recourse to the next Fountain , content onely with so much as is sufficient to keep you from the extremities of Cold and Famine . French-man . Begar be de R●gue to call me Paisant , me be de Gentilman Mushishaner , me be de Compaigne vor de Lord , vor de Madam , me fidele vor de Gentilman , and at de Weddin . English-man . Now you put me in minde of a Wedding , I must tell y● of one that I saw once at Orleans , where at my going into the Town , I met with Mistriss Bride coming from the Church : The day before she had been somewhat of the condition of such as scowre Dripping-pans in Great Mens houses , and went accoutred as those women that in London cry Kitching-stuff about the streets of the City : but now there was a strange metamorphosis in her , you would not believe she was the same woman , she was so tricked up with Scarffs , Rings , Cross-garters , Knots of Ribbonds , &c. that she was a la mode France . Now could the fellow have marryed onely her Clothes , I should have very much applauded his fortune , but it could not be so ( God be merciful to him ) he was also chained to the Wench , much good may it do him with her , and much joy may they have together most peerless Couple . Sing , Hymen , Hym●n , O Hymenae● , O Hymen , Hymen , Hymenaee . I would have a French man marry none but a French woman , for a fitter Match cannot be . French-man . Vat is dat de say ? begar France weemen be de brave weemen in de varle . English-man . Now Monsieur , I shall speak something of what I observed of the women in your Country , and to begin with the Peasants , as being most in number : They are a sort of people which cannot say the least claim to any share of beauty , so that she which with us is reckoned amongst the vulgar , would be amongst them esteemed for a Princess , quite contrary to the women in England , where you have many thatched Cottages that harbour such Beauties , as would tempt Jupiter from his Throne to court them in a golden Showre . Answerable to their Beauty is their Attire , their head being wrapped about with an old Dish clout turned out of service , or the corner of a Table-cloath reserved from washing ; the goodness of their faces tells us that that is sufficient , for why should the back-part of their head be handsomer than the fore-part ? They have no need of Masks , and the Bacon-rined colour of their faces tells us that they were strangers to Bon graces when they were children . As concerning Petticoats , they have all of them such a kinde of Garment , but most of them so short , you would think them cut off at the Placket ; Now when the Parents have worn them till such time as the rottenness of them will save a labor of undressing , they are a nevv cut out and fitted for the children , by vvhich time they have done vvith them , they speed to the dunghil , being scorned to be taken up by the Rag-vvoman . For shooes and stockings they take no great care for , few of them ever had above one pair in all their lives , and vvhich they vvear every day , being very durable . In this degree hath Nature placed them , and the greatest happiness that they do enjoy , is that they are contented vvith the same . French-man . But vat is dis of de Paisant to de France Gentil woman . English-man . Well , next I will speak somthing of the middle sort of women , or such as live in Cities and great Towns , ( for I shall forbear to mention the Court , as being above my sphere ) of these sort of women there is much difference from the Peasants ; but in what ? surely nothing but in attire , otherwise Nature hath not been over prodigal to them for beauty , so that Don Quixot did not so deservedly assume to himself the title of The Knight of the ill favoured face , as they may that of the Damosels of it ; The most comly and best proportioned part about them is their hands , long , white , and slender ; but scarce shall you see one of a hundred , whose wrists , and betwixt their fingers is no● all over-run with a scab like to a leprosie . Their dispositions hold good correspondency with their faces , and suit as well as a Toast and Nutmeg doth with a pot of Ale in the depth of Winter , all which you will swear to be truth , when you once come but to hear them speak ; no better Character being to be gathered of them , then from their prating , which is so tedious and infinite , that you shall sooner want ears than they Tongues ; set but their Tongues once a going , and they are like to a Watch , you need not winde them up above once in twelve hours , for so long will the Thread of their discourse be in spinning , such everlasting Talkers are they all , that they will sooner want breath then words , there being no wayes to silent them , but only to go out of their Companies . But were this only to some of their Familiars , it were the more tolerable , but stranger or acquaintance , all is one , though indeed no man is to them a stranger , for in two houres time you shall have them as familiar , and as merry with you , as if you had been of their acquaintance seven yeares , or bred up in a house together ever since you were born ; Now though I cannot condemn any of them of dishonesty , as having had no such experience of them , yet to an Englishman such sudden affability argues somwhat of a confident boldness , to say no worse . I remember , the first time I came to London , being but a young Novice , scarcely writing Man , passing through Luteners-lane , a Gentlewoman standing at the door accosted me with these words , How do you Sir , I am heartily glad to see you well , how have you done a long time ? Seeing so beautiful a Lady , with black patches on her face , and drest Alamode de France , thus to salute me , I could not chuse but admire ; Madam , said I , do you know me ? alack ( Sir said she ) pray come in and let us discourse together : but notwithstanding her bold invitation away I went , and coming to my Lodging , relating the story , Sir , said one to me , you must have a care of such Creatures , for notwithstanding their brave Garbe , they are no other then common Strumpets . This sudden familiarity of the French-women made me to remember this story . for — French-man . Begar be de Rogue , de shallenge de feeld , compare de French Madam to de Lutener-lane pocky-hora ; begar me no shuse but feight up to de nose in plood ; begar me can no dure dis . English-man . You fight , you sh — think you with high words to daunt me ? do not I know the Nature of your Country men better then so ? how in one thing they very much resemble the De — meekness or submission maketh them insolent , but a little resistance putteth them to their heels , or makes him your Spaniel . French-man . Begar me tink no hurt , though de speak so . Tres humble Serviture Mounsieur . English-man . Then to proceed in my story concerning the French women . They are abundantly full of laughter and toying , and have always in store some lascivious songs , which they refuse not to sing in any company , so that a stranger would think modesty were quite banished the Kingdom , or rather that it had never been there ; and whereas women in other Countrys are most ashamed to discourse of those parts which makes them women . These French Dames will talk of them , even before men , as broadly as a Midwife , or a Barber-Surgeon . So that if that saying be true , that Modesty is the best apparel of a woman , I doubt many of the Female sex in France , must go thinly clad , and a great many of them quite naked . French-man . Begar dere be but some dut be so bad as de peak of . English-man . Truly I saw but little difference amongst them , it is an Epidemical disease , both Maids and Wives , Madams and Damosels , Rich and Poor , alike sick of it , if there were any difference , it was onely in this , that those who were highest in their places and callings , were likewise highest in this lightsom vein of ribaldry . French-man . De speak of de Common hora , but de Fransh Gentilwoman be no sush . English-man . God forbid I should condemne every one of them , though they generally be so , but for them you call Common whores , I must rank them in a degree by themselves ; It was my fortune once to be in the company of two of these Fille de joyes , but never since I first knew mankinde and the world , did I observe so much impudence in the general , as I did in these two ; so audaciously bawdie in their discourse , that even any immodest ear would have abhorred their language , and of such a shameless deportment , that their very behaviour would have frighted lust out of the most incontinent man living , but a Frenchman . In a word , they were Wenches able to have shamed all the Friers with whom they had trafficked , for they would not be cast-a , and could not be caut-a , and so I leave them , for methinks my discourse of them is unsavoury , but he that rakes in filthy puddles , must be sure to meet with nasty stinks . French-man . Begar de hora be over all de varle , dere be de creat many in de London , me go in de Turnbull street , me go in de Neetingale lane me go in de Rosemary lane , me go in de Ra-ra-ratcleefe high way , me go to Damaris Page , me sure doe find pocky-hora , me veele it in my bones . English-man . Ha Mounsieur , have you got a Clap with a French-Fiddle . French-man . Begar me no deny it , me pay Shurgeon one , twa , tree pound var de cure . English-man I commend you Mounsieur , for your ingenuous acknowledgment ; but I having spoken so much of the French-woman , I think it convenient to say somthing of the men , for pity it is they should be parted . French-man . Begar me will listen to dat , me love to heare of de France Gentil-man . English-man . As I said of the women , you might character them out by their discourse , so may I say of the men , you may look into their breasts by their talk , which most commonly runneth upon two wheels , treason and ribaldry . Never in my life did I hear people talk less reverently of their Prince , and as our Nation have been always addicted too much to your Apish fashions , so in our late times , when Rebellion was rampant , had they got too much of your unworthy custom of speaking irreverently of their King ; but I hope that custom is out of use with us now . I wish it were so in France ; where scarce a day passeth without some seditious Pamphlet printed and published , in disgrace of the King , or some of his Courtiers ; the Contents of which Libels they will not spare to speak of in each place where they come ; take them from this , ( which you can hardly do till they have told all ) and then they fall upon their ribaldry , relating stories of their own uncleanness , with a face as confident , as if they had no accidents to please their Hearers more commendable . Never did valiant Captain more glory in the number of the Cities he had taken , then they will do of the several women which they have prostituted . French-man . Par ma foy me no dislike dat , me love to hear talk Bawdy de leetle , me be no shamed of dat , begar it does teekle my ling● to hear dit . English-man . Nay , I know that you are not only good to talk bawdy , but to act bawdily , and to boast of it too , as many of your Countrey-men have done , who having been at London , upon their return , report strange Chimera's of the English modesty ; as what Merchants wives they enjoyed here , and in what familiarity such and such a Lady entertained them at Westminster , when the poor fooles have been cozened with common Prostitutes ; and to this purpose I shall relate you a pretty story . A French Mounsieur coming over full pursed to London , being hot in the Codpiece as many of them are , desired a Cooler , but his ambition soared so high , that common beauties , ( such as those of France ) would not serve his turn ; but he must have a rare one , no lesse then a Phoenix ; and falling in acquaintance with a French Pandar , for a sum of money he promised him the enjoyment of a Lady , who was much famoused for her beauty ; the Mounsieur gladly hearkens thereto , pays his money , and thinks every houre ten , till the prefixed houre come . In the mean space the Pandar goes to a common Prostitute , instructs her in the business , they share the money , and she takes upon her to imitate the Lady ; a Coach is hired , ( for a Cart m●ght have been in danger of shaking her in pieces ) the Pandar and she goes together , who conducts her to the Mounsieur , the French Gentilman courts her alamede , swears he is her servant , and she with a seeming unwillingness at last condescends to his request , but whilest he is busie in his employment , she picks his pocket of his Watch , and threescore pieces of gold , which as soon as she rises from the Bed , is strait conveyed to the Pandar , who all this while guarded the door . Upon the receit of the prize he is gone ; but before the pretty Mob could make an escape , Mounsieur misses his Watch and his money , he stormes and chafes like a mad-man , mistrusts his Mob , but wonders a Lady of her quality , as he took her to be , would do such a thing . Necessity has no Law , she endeavours an escape , gets into the street , but Mounsieur overtakes her there , and layes flat felony to her Ladiship , presently an huburb is made , the Constable comes and carries them both before a Justice , the Frenchman challenges her Ladiship with his money , and she challenges him with a Rape ; the Mob is searcht , but no money found ; Mounsieur is askt again , if he would swear positively she pickt his pocket ; he considers of it , and then says , he was mistake ; but she being known to be a prime Trader in Fleet-yard , was sent to Bri●ewell , and Mounsieur dismist to go to borrow money to go to the Surgeon , of whom now he had great need . French-man . Begar me was serve sush a trick one , me go into de Lutener-lane , de-brave Gentilwoman at de door call me in ; me kiss her , and me do someting else , but when me was gone , me vent to de Ordinary to eat Veetle , ven me come to pay , all me mony vas gone . English-man . And how come you off with the Cook ? French-man . Begar de Cook call me French Rogue , tell me de beat-me , me vas pray him to bè quiet , and me vild leave de tord for his reckoning . English-man . That was a right French trick , to eat up the Cooks meat , and leave him a a tord for his reckoning . French-man . Me do no mean de tord in de belly , me mean de tord dat hang by de side . English-man . Nay Mounsieur , it is pitty you should ever speak any thing but French , your Language being very agreeable to your Natures , which to be spoken with a grace , the head , body , shoulders must all concern in the pronouncing of it , and the many Proverbs wherewith it is furnished , makes it very significant to your Nations humor of scoffing . Indeed it is very full of Courtship , which makes all your people so Complemental : The poorest Cobler in the Village having his Court-cringes , and his Eau beneste de Cour , his Court holy-water , as perfectly as the best Lord of them all . French-man . And vy shoole henot , begar Franceman be de all Gentilman . English-man . And that makes you in your ordinary discourse to bestow the highghest of titles upon those of the lowest condition , and by this reason the Beggar begetteth Mounsieurs and Madams to his sons and daughters , as familiarly as the King. French-man . Begar di● true or me be de hang. English-man . But on what Gibbit Mounsieur would you desire to be hanged on , for I observed in your Country there were several sorts of them , every Haute Justice having his peculiar Gibbit , which were made wonderful methodically , by the criticisme of which you may judge of the quality of him that owneth it ; for the Gibbit of one of the Nobles hath but two pillars , that of the Chastellan three , the Barons four , the Earls six , and the Dukes eight , so exact is your Nation that they observe a Mode even in their Gallowses . French-man . But begar me no love hanging , me shuse to die in de straw , den be hang on de vine Gallowes in all de France . Begar den me mus eat no more quood Mutt , quood Beef , quood Lamb , &c. English-man . Now you speak of Beef , Mutton , and Lamb , give me leave to tell ye some observations I made of your Cookery , and how your Gentlemens tables furnished , which though they come not nigh ours , yet are they beyond comparison above the Paisants . Their Beef they cut out into little chops , so smal , that what goes there for a laudable dish , would be thought here to be a University Commons , now served from the hatch . A loyne of Mutton serve amongst them for three roastings , besides the hazard of making pottage with the Rump . They have likewise store of Fowl , but such as the King found in Scotland , viz. foule napkins , foule table cloaths , &c. but to speak truth , that which they have is sufficient for Nature and a friend , were it not for the strange misteries of the Kitching-wench . Their Cooks are much famed for rare fellows , but their skill consists not in the handling of Beef , Mutton , and such like solid meats , but in the making of puff-pastes , kickshaws , and such fine devices , onely to fill the pallat , but not the belly , and so by consequence would make rare fellows in a Garrison , to cozen the belly , and feed the eye . Now if you can digest the sluttishness of the Cookery of ( which is most abominable at the first fight ) sit down and welcome , where you must say your own Grace , private Graces being there as ordinary as private Masses , and from whence ( perhaps ) they learned them . Grace ended , fall to where you like best , for they observe no order nor method in their eating , and if you expect a to have Carver , you may rise a hungry ; thus are their Tables furnished , and think themselves served in as great state as King Nebuchadnezars . French-man . Vat is dat you say , No be gott no sir . English man. I said Nebuchadnezar , the name is something hard . French-man . Begar so it is ; No , no , no , no be gott no sir . Eng. ne . Fr. ne . Eng. bu . Fr. bu . Eng. chad . Fr. chad Eng. ne . Fr. ne . Eng. zar . Fr. zar . now me have it , Ne-bu-chad-ne-zar , begar me vil carry dis name into me Country var to cure de Tooth-ake . English-man . And why may not that name cure the tooth-ach , as well as many cures which are ascribed to be done by Reliques , of which Reliques I saw divers of them at St Denis , a small town with a great wall , showing like all the world like a Spaniards little face in his great ●uffe , or like a small chop of Mutton in a large dish of Pottage at the th●ee Penny Ordinary , at this Town in the Church of ●● D●nis , is sa●d to be kept one of the naile● Town in the Church of St. Dennis , is said to be kept one of the Nails which fastened our Saviour to the Cross , as also a piece of the Cross it self , though so many parts thereof are shown at several places , that were they all put together , would have broken the back of Symon of Cyrene to have carryed it . Here is also some of the Virgin Maries milk , the Arm of St. Simeon set in a Case of Gold , the Reliques of St. Lewis , and the Head of St. Dennis , with a part of his Body ; of this St. Dennis ( being the Patron of France ) I shall tell you a Story , more than ever you read in the History of the Seven Champions of Christendom , and perhaps as true , which is this : He being to suffer death under the Reign of Domitian the Emperor , for not bowing before the Altar of Mercury , when the Executioner had smitten off his head , he caught it in his arms , and ran with it down the Hill as fast as his legs would carry him ; having run thus half a mile he sat down and rested , and so he did nine times in all , ( you must conceive he was very heavy loaden to carry his head in his arms ) but having ran three miles , he ran himself quite out of breath , for then he fell down and died , over which place was built this Church consecrated to his Memory wherein the aforesaid Reliques are kept . French-man . Begar Sen Dennis was de brave fellow when he live , he cut , he slase , he slay , he feight like de spright ; he vas love Wench named Rossalen , she make him Cuckoll , he weare de horns on his head sefen year ; den came Zhorge on de Hoars-back , and wid his Tord cut dem off at one blow . English-man . Was not St. George of England than a brave man to do so worthy an Act ? French-man . Begar he was de brave Shampion in all de varle , but de France man ; he kill de burn Dragon , but de Seignior Amadis de Gaule be kill de Shyant , one , twa , tre , four story high ; begar den he was brave fellow ; let me see den , dere was Monsieur le Charlemaigne , de Roy Pepin , Monsieur Oliver , Monsieur Rowland , begar de France man be de creat killer of de Shyants in all de varle . English-man . Indeed no Nation in the wo●ld is greater killers of Gyants and multitudes of people than the French ; but how ? why in Romances , wherein there is little danger in fighting ; but for real feats of Arms , alas how far short do they fall in the performance ! How often have they been beaten by the English , with the greatest disadvantage almost that might be ? witness Poicters , Crescy , and Agen-Court Battels , wherein their Armies exceeded ours almost ten to one ; nay , have we not taken their Kingdom from them ? the English King Crowned King of France in France ? where was their Valour then ? Why they were forced to have recourse to a Witch , one Joan of Arc , when France lay as it were expiring out her latest breath . How were they forced to pretend a Message to her from God , to breathe new courage into the hearts of their fanting Soldiers ? and yet when they had wrought all these Forgeries , it was not so much their Courage as our own Divisions , that caused the English expulsion out of France . French-man . Begar though me ha skill to Fidele , me ha no skill in de History , me can no tell if de speak true ; but me mush tink dis , me mush give looser leave to speak . English-man . Nay Monsieur , if you are up with your Proverbs , I must also give you one , which though but a homely one , yet sets out the three Nations , French , English , and the Spaniards to the life . The French man is compared to a Flea , quickly skipping into a Countrey , and as quickly skipping out ; their Valor being like a blaze of fire , makes of a sudden a great show , but is quickly extinguished . The English are like a Lowse , slowly mastering a place , and as slowly driven out again . The Spaniard like to a Crab fish● hardly gaining any thing , but where he enters seldom or neve● again removed . French-man . Begar me leeke dis Proverb well enough of de men , vat is de Pr●●verb of de weemen ? English-man . They say that to the making up of an absolute Woman , the●● is required the parts of a Dutch woman from the Girdle downwards , the parts of a French woman from the Girdle up to the Neck , over which must be placed an English Face , for the greater perfection of all the rest ; for if you come to compare the French Beauries with the English , alas they are not to be named the same day with them , their Faces being as bad a punishment to the Eyes , as their Discourse is a torment to the Eares : And herein may the English glory , that they have the fairest Women , the goodliest Horses , and the best breed of Dogs in all the whole world ; To which we may adde , that as England is said to be A Paradise for women , by reason of their Priviledges , so it may be said to be A Paradise of women , by reason o● their un-marchable Perfections . French-man . Begar de France woman be de hansom woman vor all dat . English-man . For your French women , as their shoulders and backs are so broad that they hold no proportion with their middles , so are they of a very black hair , and swarthy complexion ; and though the Poets do commend Leda for he● black hair , as in that Verse of Ovids , Leda fuit nigris conspicienda comis . yet that blackness reached onely to a kinde of dark brown , not so fearful as this of the French women , who are generally blacker th●n a gracious loveliness can admit : And though black hair do give a lustre to a beautiful Face , as a shadow doth to a Picture , or a Sable bearing to a Field a●gent ; yet what are the French womens Faces concerned in that , which are so far from that thing called Beauty , that when they are adorned with black Patches , they look like rusty Gammons of Bacon stuck with Cloves . French man. Me can no shuse but confess me had rader eat of de Gammon of Baoon , dan kiss de hansom woman in all de v●rle . English-man . Now you talk of kissing , I cannot but much admire that humor of the French women , who though ( as I said before ) they are so light and wanton in their discourse and gestures , yet are so coy of their Lips that they will not admit of a kiss , accounting that woman that is kissed , more than half whored , be her deportment other wayes never so civil ▪ Now , though I must confess I like this their custom very well , it sparing me many an unsavory piece of mannerliness when I was amongst them , yet it was to me a kinde of a strange Riddle , that they should confine all immodesty and lasciviousness to a harmless kiss . But as it is said of the Italian , That he will rather murther a man in private , than speak ill of him openly , so it may be thought of these Damosels , that they will not refuse a mans bed in private , although they deny to kiss him openly . French-man . Begar de tell lye , de France Madam be de Civil Madam dat lives in de whole varle . English-man . Yes Monsieur , I shall tell you of a piece of Civility of one of your Madams , as I was informed by an Acquaintance of mine who was an Eye-witness to it . That being at a Tilting , a Roguish Boy was peeking under a Ladies Coats , a Courtier seeing it , went about to remove him from that sawcy action : but when her Ladyship perceived his intention , she hindred him with this Complement , Laisse Monsieur , laisse les yeux ne sont pas larrons : The boys eyes would steal nothing away . Certainly those who are so w●nton in their discourse and actions abroad , will not stick out of play , when Night and the Curtains may conceal it . French-man . Par ma foy vis is no sush ting , de Frensh be a no soe bad , dey make more conscience den so . English-man . I will not deny but there may be some of them very conscientious , but generally they are most irreverent and irreligious ; great Scoffers , yea in matters of Religion , and at those times when they should be most solid , witness that Gallant who lying on his Death-bed , when he had the Hoast ( so they call the Sacrament of the Lords Supper ) brought to him by a Lubberly Priest , he said , That Christ came to him , as he went into Jerusalem , riding ▪ upon an Ass . Another of them being to receive the Sacrament , when the Priest had with many words perswaded him that the Bread and Wine was the real Body and Blood of Christ , he refused to taste of it , because it was then Fryday . And I was informed by a Gentleman , that at a Mass in the Cordeliers Church in Paris , he saw two French Papists , when the most sacred Mystery of their Faith was celebrating , break out into such a blasphemous and atheistical laughter , that even an Ethnick would have blushed to have heard it . Can we then think these men to be religious , who make a scoff at the Divine Mysteries of our Salvation ? Certainly had a Lutheran done this , some French hot-head or other , would have sent them laughing to Pluto . French-man . Dat is none good to do soe ; me had rather goe to dine den to die , to feede den to feight , dere is no sush haste to goe to de Teiffel , he vill have dem soone enough me varrant ye . Me vill be glad to live so long as de old woman of Parry . English-man . I remember dat old woman very well , who was of such an age , that it is questionable whether she were ever young or no : for , but that I have read the Scriptures , otherwise I should have been apt to have believed that she was one of the first Pieces of the Creation , and that by some mischance or other she had scaped the Flood : Our Countrey-man Tom. Parr the Salopian Wonder , was but an Infant to her ; at the least you could not but have imagined her one of the Reliques of the first Age after the building of Babel , several Ages before the birth of the Wandring Jew ; her face was for all the world like unto that of Sibylla Erythrea in an old Print , or like that of Solomons two Harlets in the Painted Cloth , or like those Statuas on the out-side of Westminster Abbey , which for these six hundred years have been exposed to winde and weather . It is doubtful whether our Arch Poet Ed. Spenser , when he writ his Poem of The Ruines of Time , did not purposely intend it of her ; sure I am it is very appliable in the Title . Now by reason that all her Teeth were out , her Tongue was boundless , and without ceasing would move for six and twenty hours togethet , the fastidious pratler which Horace mentioneth in his Ninth Satyr , was but a Poisne to her . Now whether she be living still , or no , I know not , but if she once come to be speechless , I suppose she is then past all recovery . French-man . Begar she was creat pratler indeed , and so me tink we be , derefore me now make haste , vor my belly de chime Noon , and me mush make haste vor fe●r of de pocky Shargeant . English-man . Well Monsieur , onely one word before you go , and then farewell . There is an old Proverb , that the Emperor of Germany is Rex Regom , the King of Spain is Rex Hominem , the King of France Rex Asinorum , and the King of England Rex Diabalorum . The Emperor of Germany is called Rex Regem , in respect of having so many free Princes under him , who have power of themselves to Coyn Money , raise Soldiers , and other Immunities consenant to Regal Authority . The King of Spain Rex Hominem , for that his Subjects are so constant and faithful in their Allegiance , not questioning what the Prince does , but obeying because he so commands it . The King of France is called Rex Asinorum , because of the Subjects patient bearing of those insupportable Taxes which he sucks out of their sweat and blood . Pride in matters of Sumptuousness , and the Civil Wars which lasted a long time in that Countrey , having occasioned most of the Crown Lands to have been sold or mortgaged , so that the Subject is now onely the Revenue of the Crown . The Kings hand lying so heavy upon them , that it hath almost thrust them into an Egyptian bondage : To recite all those Impositions which this miserable people are afflicted withal , were almost as wretched as the payment of them , I shall briefly instance in some few , and first Gabelle de Sel , or Gabel on Salt , which is an Imposition that no man in the Kingdom ( some few Countries excepted ) can eat any Salt , but he must buy it of the King , and at his price ; but this is not all , for though through poverty many of them could be contented to eat meat ( when they can get it ) without Salt , yet are they forced to take such a quantity of it , or howsoever they will have of them so much money . This Imposition is exacted with such unconscionable rigour , that it is thought to be worth unto the King 3000000 of Crowns yearly . Next is the Taillon , a heavy burthen which lies almost altogether upon the poor Peasant , who are a people of any other the most unfortunate , paying such infinite Rents to their Lords , and such innumerable Taxes to the King , that all their care and extream labour is onely sufficient to pay their Duties , and keep them from the extremities of cold and famine . This Imposition was at first levyed by way of Extraordinary Subsidy , and lay alike heavy upon all , but now it is confined onely to the Peasant ; the greater Towns , the Officers of the Kings House , the Officers of War , the President , Councellors , and Officers of the Courts of Parliament , the Nobility , the Clergy , and the Scholars of the University , being freed from it . Divers Imposts have they besides , as the Soll upon the Liure , which is the twentieth penny of all things bought or sold , onely Corn and Sallets excepted . Imposts upon Wine double and treble , and after all this , the poor Vintner forced to pay the 8th penny of that Wine which he selleth , to the King. Then is there besides Imposts on all sorts of Fruits , Provisions , Wares , and Merchandize , to which we may adde the base and corrupt money in it , being for the most part made of Tin and Brass . Hardly shall you see a Piece of Gold of the French stamp , scarce any but what comes out of Spain , which are very ill proportioned , and which one resembles to a French Cheese , being neither long , nor square , nor round , nor thick , nor thin , nor great , nor little , nor any one of these , but yet all , and yet none of them . These Circumstances considered , we may the clearer see our own felicities , which to express in a word , is to say onely this , That the English Subject is in no circumstance a French man , though we are so blinde as herein not to see our own happiness , but by our often Rebellions have given occasion to that Apellation , that the King of England is Rex Diabalorum . FINIS .