The dead tearme. Or, VVestminsters complaint for long vacations and short termes Written in manner of a dialogue betweene the two cityes London and Westminster. The contentes of this discourse is in the page following. By T. Dekker. Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632. 1608 Approx. 109 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 28 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2003-05 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). A20054 STC 6496 ESTC S105243 99840972 99840972 5522 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A20054) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 5522) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 880:24) The dead tearme. Or, VVestminsters complaint for long vacations and short termes Written in manner of a dialogue betweene the two cityes London and Westminster. The contentes of this discourse is in the page following. By T. Dekker. Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632. [54] p. Printed [by W. Jaggard] and are to be sold by Iohn Hodgets at his house in Pauls Churchyard, London : 1608. Printer's name from STC. Signatures: A-G⁴ (-G4). Reproduction of the original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. Gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. 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Copies of the texts have been issued variously as SGML (TCP schema; ASCII text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable XML (TCP schema; characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless XML (TEI P5, characters represented either as UTF-8 Unicode or TEI g elements). Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng London (England) -- Social life and customs. Westminster (London, England) -- Social life and customs. 2002-12 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2003-01 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2003-02 Olivia Bottum Sampled and proofread 2003-02 Olivia Bottum Text and markup reviewed and edited 2003-04 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion The Principall matters contayned in this discourse . A Short Encomiasticke speech in praise of Charing-crosse . The sinnes of Westminster . The sinnes of London . The Buildings of Westminster and London . The Names of all the Kings and Queenes that lie buried in Westminster . Westminsters complaint . Vacations and Tearmes compared . A paradox in praise of going to Law. A paradox in praise of a Pen. Londons answere to Westminster . Paules steeples Complaint . The walkes of Paules described . The Stewes on the Banke-side , and the Suburbe-houses of iniquity at 〈…〉 compared together . A paradox in 〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉 . An Inuectiue against 〈◊〉 . The Originall of London . A description of 〈◊〉 bridge-Fayre . A merrie lest of two London Porters performed there , about burying of a Londo●●● . To the very Woorthy , Learned , Iuditious , and Noble Gentleman , Syr Iohn Harrington Knight . SIR , the Loue ( which your immortall Ariosto tels to the world ) that you really beare to Diuine , ( but now Poore and Contemned ) Poesie , hath a long time made me an Honorer of those bright ascending Vertues in you , which those Holy and Pure Flames of Her haue kindled in your bosome . Happy you are by Birth , Happy , by your bringing vp , but most happy in that the Muses were your Nurses , to whome you haue beene so tender , that they make you an Elder sonne and Heyre of their Goodliest Possessions . So that your Loue to Them , hath drawne from Others , an Honourable Loue and Regarde of you . The Path which True Noblenesse had wont ( and ought ) to tread , lyes directly before you : you haue beene euer , and are now in the way , which emboldens me to presume , that as our Greatest Commanders will not disdaine to instruct euen Fresh-water souldiers in the Schoole-poynts of war , so ( out of your Noble disposition ) you will vouchsafe to viewe the labours of so dull a Pen , as This that writes , vnto you . Two Citties haue I summoned to a Parley , and of their great Enter-view haue I chosen you to be Arbiter . It is Boldnes in me , I confesse , but it is the Boldnes , of my Loue , referring which ( and my selfe ) to your worthy Censure , I Rest. Deuoted to you in all seruice , Thomas Dekker . Westminsters speech to London . O Thou goodliest Queene , euen ouer the greatest Citties ! How glad am I ( O London ) that wee two are met together ? For now will I poure my sorrows into thy bosome . Thou art Reuerend for thy Age , ( as béeing now , two thousand seauen hundred and fouretéene yeares old , which is more then my selfe , am , by a thousand , six hundred and foure yeares ) for I am but one thousand , one hundred , and tenne yeares of age . ) Thou art Grandam almost to this whole Kingdome : A blessed Mother thou art , for no lesse then one hundred and thréescore Emperours , Kinges , and Queens , hast thou borne in thy Wombe . Healthfull thou art of body , it appeareth by thy strength in holding out so long ; pure thou art of complexion ; It is séene by thy Chéekes , the Roofes of them are nothing wythered : Rich thou art in the treasure of all thinges , witnesse the number of Nations , that for thy substaunce , are thy dayly suitors : stored are thy breastes with wisedome , and the glory thereof shines in the gouernment of thy Rulers . Thou art full of pollicy , great with experience , renowned for Learning ; Thou art full of loue full of pitty , full of piety : yea , thou art ( O Noblest Daughter of Brutus ) my Eldest Sister ; thou rather ( if our descents bee well looked into ) art my Mother . Unto whom therefore can my condolements better come than to thée . Upon whose lap shall I lay my aking temples if not vpon thine ? One eye of Heauen lookes downe vpon vs both ; one and the same handfull of earth , serues vs both to dwell vppon : The teares that fall from both our eyes , make vp one Riuer , and that Riuer serues againe for both our bodyes to bath in . Since therefore wee are partners in all other thinges , why should wee not be Sharers in our mothers affliction ! Thou standest silent , I sée at these my spéeches , as beeing driuen into wonder , why I ( that haue alwayes kept company with the proudest , and beene euer Iocond ) should now sinke downe into any kinde of complayninges . But to kéepe thée ( O my best and fayrest Neighbour ) from tormenting thy selfe with thinking on the causes of this my grieuing : let mée tell thée ( thou Nurse to many thousandes of people ) that I doe not pine , to see that Auncient and oldest * Sonne of mine , with his Limbes broken to péeces , ( as if hee were a Male-factor , and hadde beene tortured on the Germaine Whéele : ) his Reuerend Head cut off by the cruelty of Time ; The Ribbes of his body bruizes ; His Armes lop't away ; His backe ( that euen grew crooked with age ) almoust cleft in sunder : yea , and the ground ( on which hee hath dwelt so many * hundreds of yeeres ) ready to bee pulled from vnder his feete , so that with gréefe his very heart séemes to be broken . I confesse ( thou brauest of Citties ) that this Graund-Childe of mine , hath beene the tallest and hardiest of all the Sonnes of my body : for thou knowest it aswell as I , that hee hath borne himselfe valiantly , ( and without shrinking ) in many a storme . Many a tempest hath beene flung from Heauen to shake him , yet still hath hee kept his owne footing . Many astounding blow hath he taken on his head , yet for a long time did he beare them without réeling . So well beloued hath hee beene amongst the Kinges and Princes of this Nation , that they would almost neuer passe , to these Royall Pallaces where I inhabit , and neuer repayre to their Houses of Parliaments , or to their places of Kingly Tryumphes , but they would of purpose take their way by him : yea , so greatly hath hee in times past beene helde in honour , that the knees of common people hath beene bowed before him , and the bare heades of the greatest Prelates héertofore haue shewed to him a kinde of reuerence . Yet it is not for his sake ( O farre renowed Troynouant ) that my Soule liues in sorrow : albeit , I see him now laughed at ●nd contemned . Neither am I afflicted by beholding the vnrulynesse of those Children that are vnder my kéeping . It were a madnesse in mee to trette at theyr wickednesse , because no sorrow of mine can amend it . I know it , and am ashamed to tell thée , that Drunkennesse reeles euery day vp and down my streetes . Fellowes there are that follow mee , who in déepe bowles shall drowne the Dutchman , and make him lie vnder the Table . At his owne weapon of Vpsie freeze will they dare him , and beat him with wine-pots till hée be dead drunke . Out swagger they will besides ( being armed with that French weapon ) a whole Fayre full of Butchers and Tinkers , who commonly are the greatest Fighters , and most profound swearers . As for that sin that is after serued in dinner , and after Supper : or rather that sinne that is vp night and day , and can see aswell in darkenesse as in Lights that Monster with two bellies , ( Lechery I meenne ) doe what I can , no whips are able to make it leape out of my Iurisdiction . More Mayden-heades I verily beléeue are cut off vpon my owne feather-beds ( in one year ) than are heads of Cattell cut off in ( in two ) amongst the Butchers that serue my families . But I feare ( O London ) that by dwelling so near thée thou hast infe●ted my houses with these two plagues , that now run ouer all the Kingdome : for all the world knowes that euen thy shop-kéepers and poorest Tradesmen lay by their owne occupations , and fall to these . Other sinnes lies gnawing ( like diseases ) at my heart , for Pride sits at the doores of the rich : Enuy goes vp and downe with the Begger , féeding vpon Snakes . Rents are layde vpon the racke ( euen my own sight ) and by my own Children that I haue borne , whilst Conscience goes like a foole in pyed colours , the skin of her body hanging so loose , that like an Oxford Gloue , thou wouldst swear there wer a false skin within her . Couerousnes hath got a hundred handes , and all ●●●se hands do nothing but tye knots on her Purse-strings , but Prodigality hauing but two handes , vndoes those knottes faster , than the other can tie them . O thou Darling of Great Brittaine , thy Princes call thée Their Treasurer and thou art so . But more peeces of Siluer and Gold passe not through thy fingers , then oathes from the mouthes of my inhabitants . Thou art held to be ( O London ) the lowdest swearer in the kingdome , because ( some say ) thou hast whole shoppes and Ware-houses filled vvith oathes yet I feare , I haue those about me that for filthy mouthing wil put thée down , for I am haunted with some that are called Knights onely for their swearing . Ranckely doe these and other stinking wéedes grow vp in my walkes , and in my Gardens , the sauours of them are Pestilent to my Nosthrils , and are able to kill me , yet much good wholesome fruits do I féed vpon , that are to my life a preseruation . So , that for the aches that these diseases bréed in my bones I doe not languish neyther . Thou knowest and I confesse it , ( for if I should not , the whole world would swear it ) that thou possessest the more , but I the more goodly buildings : thy hauses are contryued for thrist and profitable vses , mine for state and pleasure : thou dwe lest vnder plaine roofes , I within royall Pallaces : euery roome that thou lodgest in , is but called a Chamber , and euery Chamber I sleepe in , is a Kinges Court : In thine Armes lie the sonnes of England to suck wealth , but in my lap sit the Princes of England to be Crowned , In my bosome doe they slumber whilest they liue , and when they dye , they desire to bee buried betwéene my breasts . To testifie this , all the annoyted kinges and Queenes , ( except one , who receiued his Crowne at Glocester ) with all the Wiues of those kinges , that haue raigned heere since that Norman Conqueror , would if they were now liuing speake on my side in that behalfe , for the full number of 21. Kinges and two Quéens ( being a payre of Sisters ) haue receiued the glorious Titles of Maiestie , and were seen the very first day of their sitting on the English throne onely at my hands , and in my presence , of which that conquerour , and Matilda ( his wife ) had the honour to begin , for till hys time , other places wer made happy by that dignity , as Kingston , &c. which then were farre aboue me , but now can no way be my equall . To proue how much the Rulers of this Monarchy haue loued mee euen on their Death-beds , their bodies which they haue ( as their richest Legacies ) bequethed to my kéeping , are royall witnesses . I can shew thee ( O thou Noblest of thy Nation ) the bones not onely of most of those kinges before-named , but of some that liued here long before them . But because the Graue is the vtter destroyer of al beauty , yea and so defaceth the lookes and the bodies euen of the goodliest princes , that men abhorre to behold them : also for that it is helde an acte most impious , and full of Sacriledge to offer violence to the deade , I will onely giue thee the names of all those Kinges , Queenes , and Princes Royal bloud , that now lay their heads on my knées & must sléepe there till that day , when all that rest in graues , shal be summoned to awaken . Of these , was Sybert ( King of the East - Saxons ) the first , with his wife Aethelsoda . Sybert gaue me my first being in the world , and at his departure from the worlde , did I giue his body an euerlasting habitation . Next vnto him did I lay Harold ( Sir-named Hare-foot ) King of the West Saxons . Then Edward the Confessor , vppon whome king William bestowed a shryne of Syluer and Golde . And then these . Aegytha , wife to that Conquerour . Matilda , wife to Henry the first , and daughter to Malcoline king of Scots . Henry 3. who builded a great part of that my famous Temple , and whose Sepulcher was adorned with precious stones of Iasper , fetched by his sonne Edwarde the 1. out of France . Eleanor , wife to that Henry . Edmund second Sonne to that Henrie , the first Earle of Lancaster , Darby , and Liecester , wyth Auelyne ( hys Wife ) who was Daughter and heyre to the Earle of Albemarle . Besides him , all the Children of the sayde Henry the 3. and of Edward , 1. ( being nine in number . ) Edward the first , who offered to the Shryne of Edward the Confessor , the Chaire of Marble , wherein the kinges of Scotland had wont to be crowned , and in which the king that first made England and Scotlande one Monarchy , was now lately inthronized . Eleanor wife to that Edward 1. and Daughter to Ferdinando king of Castyle . In memory of whose death , so many stately Crosses ( as Mon●umentes of his loue to her ) were erected in all those places where her body was set downe , when it was sent to bee lodged with mee . Eleanor , Countesse of Barre , Daughter of Edwarde the first , Edward 3. and Phillip of Henalt ( his wife . ) Wiliam of Windsore and Blanch ( his Sister ) children to Edward the third . Thomas of Wood-stock , sonne likewise to that Edward , Iohn of Eltham , ( Earle of Cornewall ) sonne to Edward the second . Richard 2. that vnfortunate king with Anne his Wife , Daughter of Vinceslaus king of Bohem , which Anne brought vp the fashion for women to ride in side Saddles , which till her time rode as men . Then that Guttorum Mastix , the scourge of the French , Henry 5. to doe honor to whose victorious and dreaded name , Katherine his wife , and daughter to the King of France , caused an Image ( to the portraiture of hir husbande ) to bee made of Massy Siluer , all gilded ouer , which was layde vpon his Monument : but Couetousnes , not suffering euen hallowed places , and the shrines of the dead to bee frée from hir griping talents , the head of that Image , which was al of Massy siluer , is now broke off , & the plates that couered the body stoln , and conueyed away . That royall Quéene and Bedfellow of his , Lady Katherine , was with mee likewise layd to rest , but after , beeing taken vp , ( without any wrong meant to the body ) it nowe lyes vnburied in a poore Coffin of bordes and with the least touch falleth into ashes . Adde to these , Anne the wife of Richard the third . Margaret Countesse of Richmond and Darby , mother to Henry the 7. Anne of Cl●ue , wife to Henry the 8. Henry 7. and Elizabeth his wife , do in mine armes likewise take their euerlasting sleeps : so does Elizabeth daughter to those most happy Princes . So doth Margaret daughter to Edward 4. So doth Edward the 6. Sonne to that famous prince , Henry 8. So doth Mary whose name serues her only as a Monument . And lastly so doth Elizabeth , daughter to that great wariour , who if shee had no Monnument at all consecrated to memory , yet were her name sufficient to eternize her Sacred worth , and the wonder of her 44. years gouernement . Thus ( besides other personages of great byrth , too many in number for me to recite and too tedious for thée to heare ) am I compassed about with the dead bodies of 42 , Kings , Quéenes , and the sons and daughters of Kings & Quéens , the remembrance of whom is able to turn me which sorrow into Marble , but that their statues & sumptuous monuments , do shine in my Temples , and worke such astonishment in the eyes ( euen of straungers ) that I estéeme that hurt of mine , the best part of my glory . Besides all these gallant obiects . The swifte-footed Thamesis , daunseth all the day long , ( in wanton Water-ringes ) before mee , shee transformes her Christall body into a thousand shapes to delight mee : Sometimes does shee chaunge her selfe into * a Girdle of Siluer , and then doe I weare it about my middle . Sometimes lookes shee like an Amazon , ( along curled hayre hanging loosely about her shoulders ) and then dooes shee fight with the windes , and her combates are discharged with excellent grace . Anon shall you beholde her lymbes stretcht out to an infinite , but comely length , ) and then ( O my worthyest Sister ) doe we two grow proude , and take her for a Ryuer whilest shee continues in that shape , thou knowest what delicate turnings and windinges shee does make euen at our féete : thy habitations stande then like a rich Embrodery about the skirts of an imperial garment , but my buildinges shew like so many Castles , raised by Enchantment , where faire Ladies locke vppe their beauties , whilst knights aduenturers come armed thether with loyalty , challenging them for their loues : yea in such goodly , & in so artificial an order are my Turrets and Towers errected , that the Sun ( at his rising ) makes mee beléeue they are Rockes of Burnisht Siluer , & with his blushing vpon them ( at his going downe ) I haue a thousande times sworne they were so many hils of Gold. Bee thou nowe an indifferent Iudge ( O London , thou fayrest Daughter of Europe ) if I , beeing accustomed to this fulnesse of dignitie , and this variety of pleasures , haue not good cause to languishe when I am depriued of them all . The more princely are my guests , the more insufferable , and more to be pittied are my passions , spent for their absence . Well was it for thée ( thou Metropolis of the world ) that the honours , the Habits , the Tryumphes , the gifts of Kinges , and the Reuennewes that belong to my Royaltyes , are not made Thine : thou swellest in thy heart enough already , but then wouldst thou haue bin too proud and insolent . How therefore can I choose but buffet my owne chéekes through the anguish of my Soule ? Teare my owne hayre to sée my selfe distressed ? and euen drinke mine own hart-bloud in teares , to looke on my present miserie ? Listen to me : for now ( O my déerest Play-fellow ) shalt thou heare the very true tunes of my most iust bewaylings . Those throwes of sorowe come vppon mee foure times euery yéere , but at one time more , ( and with more paines ) then at all the rest . For in the height and lustiest pride of Summer , when euery little Uillage hath her Bathilers & her Damosels tripping deftly about May-pols : when Medowes are full of Hay-makers : when the fieldes vpon the workidaies are full of Ha●●estars singing , and the towngréenes vpon Hollydayes , trodden downe by the Youthes of the Par●● dancing : when thou ( O thou beautifull , but bewitching Citty ) by the wantonnesse of thine eye , and the Musicke of thy voyce allurest people from all the corners of the Land to throng in heapes , at thy Fayres and thy Theators ; Then , ( euen then ) sit I like a Widdow in the middest of my mourning : then doe my buildings shew like infected lodgings , from which the Inhabitants are fledde ▪ then are my chambers empty , and my common paths vntrodden : then doe I not looke like thy next neighbour , but like a creature forlor●e , and vtterly forsaken . Were it not that my state is vphold by fiue great Pillers , ( the chiefe of them being so hie , that Kinges and Princes sit on the top of it ) I should euen loose my name , and the memory of mée would be buryed in the earth , that now beares me vp . That first and Capitall * Columne ( on which leanes all my strength ) is a Pyramides , whose point reaches vppe to the Starres : whilest that stands in mine eye , I behold a * Maiesty , equall to Ioues : I sée a * Vine , whose braunches shall spread so farre , and so hie , that one day they shall couer Kingdomes . I see likewise a * Table , at which sit none , but Those , whose heads grow white onely with the Cares of a Kingdom : I sée a Row of * Lords too , whose flourishing doth dignify the place vppon which they grow , and whose shady boughes beate backe , and kéepe off from the people the violent heate of Tyrrany and oppression : Besides all these , do I behold a goodly Fountain , * large , cleare , strongly , and curiously built , out of which come a thousand pipes , ( some greater then the rest ) thorough whome a swéete water flowes , that giues life vnto the Soule . And last of all ( so full is my happinesse ) in stead of earthly Creatures , I see none but * Goddesses . But ( woe is me ) when this great Piller is remooued from my sight , then ( casting vp mine eye ) me thinks I looke vpon nothing but my owne Ruines . Nay , that calamitie of mine doth euen stretch to thée ; for thou thy selfe , for all thy loftinesse and boasting , dooest at that time droope , and hauge the head . But note how the Rulers of this Land haue loued mee ; though they giue mee woundes , they giue mee Balme to cure them : though the Sunne goe from me , yet am I comforted with the brighnesse of the Stars . The Law ( which lyes in , at euery Uacation ) is brought to bed in foure seuerall months of the yeare , and deliuered of foure * Sonnes . Those Sonnes inuite me to foure kingly Feasts ; they kéep their Tournes ; and their Returnes , are so many seuerall Seruices . They are the Foure Elements that gouerne ▪ and giue life to my body ; yea , so déere doe I make them vnto me , that I account of them , as of Foure Golden Ages . Whilest any of these foure abide in my Company , I am more Iocond then a Woman in the embracements of her Louer . My Chéekes looke then red , with a high and lusty colour , for I wash them in Wines : my heart is merry , for I nourish it with gladnesse . Then doe my Tenants sléepe soundly , ( for they drinke soundly : ) Then dare they talke any thing for they haue Lawe on their sides ; Then are they content to take crackt Crownes , though at another time they would stabbe him that should but hitte theyr eare . Vintners are then as busie as Bees are in Hiues , for as Bées flye from one Flower to another to sucke out Hony , so doth the Drawers leape from one Hogshead to another to let out Wines . In euery roome are the Pottle Pottes working , to bring in gaines to their Maister , as the other labor , to bring forth wax for their hiues . The strings are in the tailes , and that is at the end of their Cups , when they come to a barre for the Reckoning : The Drones are those that drinke that which should doe others good , yet hurt themselues by it , taking too much of it . Neither do Tauernes alone fall into this profitable and healthfull sweating Sicknesse : but all other Trades , Occupations , Misteries , and Professions , do row vp & down this Spring-tide streame of businesse ; and such good Draughts haue they , that all is Fish that comes into their Net. Yea , in the open streetes is such walking , such talking , such running , such riding , such clapping too of windowes , such rapping af Chamber doores , such crying out for drink , such buying vp of meate , and such calling vppon Shottes , that at euery such time , I verily beléeue I dwell in a Towne of Warre . For euery morning do the men of law march to the Hall , as it were to the fielde : The Counsellore are the Leaders , Atturnies and Clarkes , are petty Commaunders , and Officers of the band : the trayned old Weather-beaten Souldiers , are those that haue followed the Law a long time , and haue vndoone themselues by brabblinges . The raw , fresh-water-Souldiers , are such as entered but yesterday into the action . In which March of theirs , if you fall but in amongst the Rankes , you will by and by suppose your selfe in the Low-Countries ; for as the Souldiers ( there ) so these ( here ) talk of nothing but Stratagems and poyntes of War. Some threaten to ouerthrow their aduersaries , vpon assaults and Battryes : Some ( as if an enemy were to be blown vp in a Towne ) sweare to driue them out of their houses by way of Eiectments : Others , as if they came to the sacking of a Citty , cry out vpon nothing but Attachments , both of goodes and body . And as among Soaldiers , some delight in bloud more then others , so amongst these , some take a pryde in crueltie more then others , and labour onely to haue their Enemies in Execution . At the length , they come into the fielde , ( that is to say , to the Barre ) where they must trie the quarrell by Arbiterment of wordes in stead of swords : for there either the one side or other is ouerthrown : There stand the Pikemen ( that is to say , such as haue had long sutes ) and being wearyed , care not almost which end goes forward , because they are at a stand , The Bill-men hard by them , but they for the most part are euer complayning . And thus ( thou Minion of so many Kinges ) doth this stirring vp and downe of my body , stirre vppe my bloud , and kéepes mee sound : this peopling of my stréets , makes me to be crowned with the title , dignity , and liberties of a Cittie , ( for what are Citties if they be not peopled : ) this Phisick ( so long as I take it ) preserues my body in health : But because I am compelled sometimes to giue it ouer , ( which is commonly in Haruest , and now a little at the beginning of the fall of the lease , ( for this part of the yeare doth most trouble mee ) I féele the state of my body weake , and subiect to infirmities . For alasse there are certaine Canker-Wormes ( called Uacations ) that destroy the Trées of my Inhabitants , so soone as euer they beare any fruite . These Uacations are to mine owne body , like long and wasting consumptions , they are more grieuous to my remembrance , then the comming on of a tedious night to a man tormented with sicknes : or then marriages delaied , to them that lie sighing for the delights thereof . The vnwholesome breath of Autumne , who is so full of diseases , that his very blowing vppon trées , makes theyr leaus to fal off ( as the French Razor shaues off the haire of many of thy Suburbians , ) euen that , and all the foure Maister-windes that kéepe such a blustring in the world , do not more scatter the dust of the Earth , then the cold blastes of foure Uacations , doe blow abroad the wealth that before I haue gotten together . In the Tearme times euery day to me is a day of feasting , but euery Uacation starues me with ill dyet , for all the daies of them are to me nothing but fasting daies . Yea , the Dog-dayes are not halfe so vnwholesome , so pestilent & so perilous to the bodyes of men , as those are to mee . The Tearmes are my flowings , the Uacations my ebbinges . So that ( if I were sure the world would not hold mee for a miserable and couetous wretch ) I could euen wish , that these battayles of the law , were fighting all the yeare long . It were as much glory , fame , and preferment for mee to haue it so , as it is for the Low countries , to be all the year vp in armes . And tell me I pray , ( thou prouident Mistris ouer so many families ) tell mee in thine opinion , if it were not fit to haue all these foure Riuers of the law , run into one stream , without any stoppings or turnings . For , do but consider what voyage a man is to make when he sayes , I must goe to Law : It is a Voyage , but short and easie to finish , if you méete with an honest and skilfull Pilot , that knowes the right puttings in , the watering places , and the Hauens , and can auoyd the Rockes , Gulfes , Créekes , & quick-sands that lie cleane out of the way , and yet many a thousand do desperately runne themselues on ground , and suffer Shipwracke vppon them . But on the contrary part , if a Man sets out carelesly , not taking the Counsell of men experienced in those Seas , though he be neuer so well furnished , neuer so well manned , neuer so strong in heart , neuer so able to brooke stormes and tempests ; yet let him bee sure to be tossed from coast to Coast , to bee driuen forward with one prosperous gale to day , and to be blown thrée times further backward with a boistrous breath to morrow : to haue his Soule afflicted with cares , and his heart eaten vppe with frettinges , and in the end to finde ( to his cost ) that he had beene better to haue vndertaken a Voyage to the East and West Indyes : and sooner hadde he made his returne home . So that to hoyst vppe Sayles in this Ocean of Controuersies , and to méete with a fortunate and faire Ariuall , is as much honor , as to go to Ierusalem , and safely to come back againe . The Law is vnto vs , as the heauens are ouer our heads : of their owne Nature they are cléere , gentle , and readie to doe good to man : they giue light to his eyes , comfortable Ayre to his Spirits , warmth to reuiue him , coolenesse to refresh him . But if they bee troubled by brablings and vnruly mindes , and be put from their owne smooth and euen by as , then doe they plague the world with stormes : Then doth Thunder shake the Rich mans building , lightning burnes vp the poore mans Corne , Haile-stones beat down the fruites of the earth , and all Creatures that are within reach of their fury , tremble , and hide their heads at the horrour . The very phrase of Going to Law , shewes the greatnes , Maiesty , and state of Law : for the Law comes to no man , but he is eyther driuen , or else so busie of himselfe , that he goes to it . The Law sléepes continually , vnlesse shee bee wakened by the wronges of men oppressed , or by the turbulency of those that will not let her rest : for the first sort of which people , she hath a payre of Balance , wherein shee wieghes their Innocence , and the Iniuries of others ▪ forcing one to make good the hurts of the other . Against the second , she drawes a sword , with which shee both strikes them that break hir peace , and defends thē that are threatned to be struck wrongfully . He that Goe , therfore to Law , goes before a personage , whose browes are vnwrinckled , yet full of Iudgement ; whose eyes are not wandring , yet turning to both sides ; whose lips are sildome opened , yet what they pronounce is iust ; whose countenāce is austere , yet setled in vprightnesse ; whose hands are open to all , yet neuer filled with bribes ; whose heart lies hidden , yet frée from corruption . And what man would not desire to bee hourly conuersant with so excellent , and so composed a creature . He that is vp to the eares in Law , is vp to the eares in experience ; He cannot choose but bee a good Subiect , bycause he kéepes the Statutes and ordinances of his Country : he cannot choose but proue a worthy souldier , because he is still in action : he must of necessity be both honest and pittifull , for hee measureth other mens cases by his owne . Law : why it makes a man watchfull , for he that meddles with it , is sure neuer to sléepe ? It keeps him from the Irish mans disease , ( Lazynes : ) from the Dutch-mans weakenesse ( in not Bearing drinke : ) from the Italians euill spirit that haunts him , ( Lust ) for hee s so busied with so many Actions of the Case , that hee can haue no leysure nor stomacke , to the Case of Actions : It preserues him from the French falling sicknesse , yet no Stoues in Mosco●y can put a man into more violent sweates . And last of all , it kéepes him out of the English-mans su●●rites , for his wayting at his Counsels Chamber so runs in his head , that he scarcely allowes himselfe a time to dine or sup in . O what an excellent Husband doth this going to Law make a man ? He giues ouer gaming presently vppon it ? He shakes off al commany that drew him to expences , and in euery Uacation is so prouident , that with the Ant hee layes vp Money then , to let it flye amongest Councellors , and Atturnies in the Tearme-time ? what an able and lusty bodie doth he get by it , that followes it hard ? No Carryer is able to take more paynes : no Porter beares more . It makes a man to be well giuen , for he prayes ( euen as hee ambles vp and downe the stréetes : ) It makes him to be beloued amongst Lawyers Clarks , and to be feared amongst his owne neigbours , ( two properties which euery King desires from the hearts of his Subiects ( Loue and Feare . ) If men should not goe to Lawe one with another , the Courtier would walke vp and down ( Ietting ) by the Mercers doore , and wearing his Silkes vnder his nose , which now he dare not doe . Thy Cittizens ( O thou the Best and onely Huswife of this Iland ) if Suites were not tryed , some would scarce kéepe a good Sute on their backs , Solicitors might likewise goe beg , and Scriueners goe starue themselues . Had not the people of this large Kingdome faine to so many priuate quarrels , about blowes giuen ; To so many intricate bargains , about buying and selling of Lands ; To so many Cozenages of wicked Executors , in vndoing Orphans and Heires , and so many starting holes , Crannies , Creuises , windings , wrestlings , rackings , Circumgirations , & Circumuentions , to abuse the beautiful body of the Law , and to make it grow crooked , which of it selfe is comly & vpright . And had not the Law prouided cures for these sores of a common-wealth , & whips to punish such villains , Thou ( O princely Mother of many Citties ) shouldst neuer haue had so many gallant , Sumptuous , & rare Nurseries for young Students , erected full in thine eye , which stand before thy buildinges , as Gates to Kinges Pallaces , and are the onely honor for entrances into thée . Had not the Inhabitants of this Empyre warred so in law from time to time , one with another , shee coulde not haue boasted of so many Graue , wise , and Learned Iudges . Of so many Discréet , Sage , and reuerend Iustices , Of so many carefull , prudent , and honourable Maiestrates . By meanes of this , is the Gentry of the Land increased , ( for Studyes are Trées that bring forth aduancement ) by meanes of this , the multitude is helde in Obedience , for lawes are bridles , to curbe those that are head-strong . What a rare inuention therefore was pen and Incke , out of whom ( as streames from a Fountaine , flow all these wonders ? How much beholden are men to his witte , that out of a poore Goose-quill was the first deuiser of so strange an Instrument as a Pen , which carries in it such power , such Conquest , such terror , such comfort , and such authority , that euen the greatest Subiects in kingdomes are glad somtimes to be beholden to it , and as often to tremble whē it is but held vp against them . For a Pen in a princes hand commaunds with as ample force as his Scepter , with it doeth he giue Pardons for life , or the heauy doom of death . It bestowes honours and preferments , and like a Trumpet proclaimes a kinges Liberality . Yea , of such Uertue is that worke which a princes hand doth with it , that Actes of Parliament cannot giue a stronger confirmation . In the hande of a Iudge , it is as dreadfull as his voyce , for it either saues or condemnes , pronounceth freedome or imprisonment . In the handes of a Spirituall finger , it sets downe notes of Musicke , which to heare the very Angels leape for ioy in heauen , and deliuereth forth such Diuine Oracles , that out of them , mortals finde meanes to climbe vp to eternity . Lastly , in the hand of a good Lawyer , a Pen is the common sword of Iustice , and doth as much in the quarrell of the poore man as of the rich : with it , doth he help those that are beaten downe by oppression , and liftes them vp by supplications : but they that are trespassers against the sacred Orders of equity , doeth hee with that Axe onely leade into Execution . In the handes of badde and vncon●●ionable Lawyers , Pens are forkes of yron , vpon which poore Clients are tossed from one to another , till they bléede to death : yea the nebs of them are like the Beakes of Vu●tures , ( who so they may glutie their appetite with flesh ) care not from whose backes they teare it . How many thousandes ( with that little Engyne alone ) do raise vp houses to their posterity , whilest the Ignorant prodigall , drownes all the Acres of his Auncestors in the bottome of a Wine-seller , or buries them al in the belly of a Harlot ? How many fly higher , and spread a more Noble wing with that one feather , then those Butter-flies do , that stare vp and downe in the eyes of a kingdome , with all the painted feathers of their riotous pride . Is it not pitty then ( O thou wisest Censurer of worldly matters . ) Is it not great pitty , that an Instrument of so musicall a sound , of such excellent rarity and perfection , should at any time lie dumbe and vntouched , and not rather be played vpon , euen from the beginning of the Suns early progresse to his ending , and without intermission ? It is , It is , and I know for all thy silence thou subscribest in thought to this my opinion . Thus haue I made thée a witnes of my lamentings , the teares of mine eyes haue in their falling down , dropt vpon thine owne cheekes : I haue opened vnto thée my Bowels , and thou séest what consumptions hang vpon me , to make me pyne to nothing , Be thou now ( O thou Bryde woorthy the loue euen of the greatest king . ) Be thou and the whole worlde my witnesses , if I descend into these complaynings without iust inforcement . I haue heere , and there ( in this story of my fortunes , ) reckoned vppe some part of my owne worth , and my owne ▪ inioyinges , least swimming altogether , or too long in the streame of my sorrowes , I shoulde vtterly quicke haue sunke , and so drowne my honour , by forgetting that I am a Citty . Counsell mee therefore now , ( O thou Charitable Releeuer and Receiuer of distressed Strangers ) how I way either make this burden of my affliction lye more lightly on my shoulders , or else how my shoulders may bear it with a commendable patience . Londons aunswere to Westminster . AT these wordes , ( The Mother of the twelue Companies , ) once or twice shaking her aged but reuerend head , on the top of which stood ( as the Crowne of her honour ) a heape of lofty Temples and Pynnacles , to the number of one hundered and nine ) thus grauelie began . That I haue summoned vppe more yeares , and therefore more care than thou hast ( O beloued of all our Englysh Princes ) the Chronicles of Tyme , ( who sets downe al Occurrents ) can testifie . I dare boast , that Experience hath with her owne finger written her Histories on my fore-head , for I haue had Negotiation with all the Nations that be in the world . I haue séene the growings vppe , and the withering of many Empyres : the obseruation of forraigne Countryes hath bin my studdy , whylest the polliticke and stayed gouernment of my owne hath béene my glory . So carefull haue I béene , and so Iealous of my own estate , ( séeing Cittyes greater than my selfe , to lye as lowe nowe as their firste Foundation ) that I haue Printed downe theyr mutabilities and their greatest miseries in the midst and depth of my palmes , because they should be euer in mine eye as Cautionary prospects . So that it shall well become thee , ( neyther néedest thou be ashamed ) to borrow aduice from me that am thine Elder , and so beaten to the affayres of the world . Counsell is the cheapest gift that one Friend can bestow vpon another , yet if it be well husbanded , the Interest of no Golde nor Siluer , can amount to halfe the value of it . Giue me leaue therefore to speake ( O thou Courtly Paramour ) and to speake my minde boldly , for albeit thou art the Fauourite of Greatnesse , & standest Gracious ▪ ( as theyr Minions ) in the eyes of our princes , yet will I be no slaue to my owne thoughtes ( like a Parasite ) to flatter thée in euils , wherein I shall finde thee woorthy of reprehension . If I spy any blemishes on thy body , I will lay euen my finger vpon them ( not to haue them hidden but discouered ) and whatsoeuer I doe or say , take it not thou , as done in scorne or in thy dishonour , but as out of the office , of integrity , zeale , & hawty affection of an honest friend . For wee two haue reason to assist one another with all the faculties and powers that are within vs , sithence , no calamitie can fall vpon the one , but the other must receiue many bruises by it . Noble thou art of byrth , as my selfe am , for from two seueral kings had we both our beings . Noble is thy bringing vppe as is thy raising to high fortunes . Such therefore as thou arte , woulde I haue thée still to beare thy selfe , and not to be deiected into vulgar , low , & earthlie prostitutions , for any threatninges or any blowes of insulting Fortune . Well did it become the greatnes of thy place , thy state and calling , not to be throwne downe into a womanish softnes , for that aged and reuerend ( but * wry-necked ) sonne of thine , whose woorthinesse thou hast sufficientlie proclaimed . Miseries that fall vpon vs by our owne wilfulnes , or by others Tyranny , are to be grieued at , because wee suffer iniustly : But stroakes that are ineuitable , are to be receaued , yea , to bee met and stood vnder with a most constant and resolued fortitude . His downefall , though it séeme great , yet is it not to be lamented , but to be borne , because he fell not vpon a dishonorable Graue ; But into such a one , as by the frailety of Time , Nature , and destiny , was preordayned for him . His end was not like the end of Traytors , who are cut off in the pride of their bloud and youth , or as the end of Citties , that reuolt from the obedience of their Soueraignes , and haue their Obloquies growing vp still , euē in their Ashes : But he threw himselfe vppon the earth , séeing the hand of extreame age ( which must pull downe at last the whole frame of this Worlde ) lay so hardly , and so heauily vppon him . Had his Ruine béene wrought by those terrible thunder-Clappes of ciuill Warre , when ( in the raigne of King Stephen ) all the Realme was in a flaming combustion of discord , kindled by Maud the Empresse , in the quarrell of Duke Henry ( her Son , ) Or had he béen condemned in that mad Parliament held at Oxford , when the Barons of this Land ( within fewe monthes after ) first forced their King ( Henry of that name the third ) to take my Tower for his Sanctuary , and after tooke him prysoner with his Sonne , and many of his Nobility , at the battaile at Lewes . Or had he béene brought to slauery and confusion , as I my selfe ( for all my strength of friendes and my owne greatnesse ) was likely to haue béene in two seuerall rebellions : The one in the raigne of Richard the second , by Essex men , who beheaded all men of Law , destroyed the Records and Monaments of Learning ; tyrranized ouer Straungers , and threatned to lead me and my Inhabitantes into Captiuit● , and so bring vpon me vtter disolation . The other in those tempestuous and variable tossinges of that vertuous , but wretched King Henry the sixt , in the handes of Fortune , when a fire of commotion was kindled by Kentish-men ▪ whose flames euen beganne to burne in my owne bosome . Or had that Sonne of thine perished betwéene the rage of those two great Families , ( the Yorkists and Lancastrians , ) that was nourished so many yéers together , with the liues , honors , and ouerthrowes of so many Princes of the bloud Royall , and with the fall of so many Subiects , that in one bat●aile were discomfited on both sides , 35111. Persons , then if thou hadst not lamented for him , I should worthily haue blamed thee , then would I my selfe haue borne a par● in thy sorrow . A better , and not so blacke a fate hath weighted vppon That Mirror of antiquity belonging to thee , than ( euer since the first ra●sing ) hath falne vpon the Goodliest , the Greatest , the Highest , and most Hallowed * Monument of mine . His miseries haue béene so many , and the top of his calamities is clymbed vp to such a height , that I should do his sorrows wrong , to set thē to the tune of my voyce , whō no notes but his owne are able to sing them foorth . Lift vp therefore thy heauy head ( O thou that art maintayned by the Pillers of the Church ) and though thou hast a leaden countenance , of which may be gathered the true and full weight of that which lyes vppon thée to presse thée downe , yet with a voyce ( lower then theirs that are daily Singers of heauenly songs in thy hearing , ) ring thou forth the Allar●● of those passionate heart-breaking vlulations , which ( like the ruptures of Thunder ) force a continuall passage through thy bosome . Bee thou attenti●e likewise ( thou Nurser vp of all our English Nobility ) and as I haue lent an erected and serious eare to those Complaints which thou powrest forth in behalfe of thy Sonne , So be thou ( I coniure thée ) a silent and obseruing Auditor of these Lamentations , which I sée are already striuing to make way through the lips of this afflicted Child of mine . Marke him well , for now he begins . Paules Steeples complaint . WHerein ? O wherein haue I ( ●he most infortunate of all this Kingdome ) offended so highly , that thus often , and with such dreadfull blowes , I shold be smote by the hand of heauen ? So cruelly haue I béene strucke that euen fire ( to my thinking ) hath ●las●en out at mine eye : and such ●éepe woundes haue I receiued on my head , that instead of teares , my vary batilements haue dropt downe , and in their falling haue scalded my chéekes , as if they had béene shewers of molten Lead . Doth this hot Uengeance fly ( as if it were with the swiftest winges of Lightning ) from aboue , to se●ze vpon me , for my owne sinnes , or for his , that first beganne to set me vppe ? But alasse : How ingratef●ll am I , to haue of my Patron so vnrighteous , and so godlesse a remembraunce ? Ethelbert ( King of Kent ) was my Founder : out of the dust of the earth did he raise mée ; out of the hard Rock was I fashioned to a beautifull shape , and by him consecrated to a most holy and religious vse : For Ethelbert ( that good King ) was the first that gaue entertainment to Augustine , Melitus , Iustus , and Iohn : who by Saint Gregory were sent hither to preach the Misteries Diuine : The deuotion of which men , like foure streames , caused the Christian Fayth to fly into this land , and that princely father of moe , was the first whom they conuerted . In aduauncement of Religion , and to make it spread higher , did hee set mee into the earth , planted mée , and hadde a reuerend care to haue mee grow vppe in state and beauty . It cannot be therefore , that so good and meritoryous a worke in him , should be so ill rewarded . No , no , it is not for his sake , that I haue béene punnished , but eyther for my owne or some others wicked deseruing . Howsoeuer it be , or in whom-soeuer the fault lyes , on mée are the plagues inflicted , on my head are heaped the disgraces and dishonours , mine is the smart , mine is the Sorrow . And though the eyes of euery Straunger , and of euery starting Passenger be cast vp vppon mee , all of them wondering at , but none pittying my misfortune , because to them it appeares sleight , or else it appeares to them nothing at all , yet let mee stand before a Iuditious , cleéere , and impartiall Censor , and the condition of the most wretched will not séeme so miserable and base as mine . When the Hawthorne and Low Bryer are cut downe , the spoyle of them is not regarded , for it moones not any : But when the Prince of the Forrest ( the mighty and sacred Oake ) hath the Axe layed to his roote , at euery blow that is giuen , the very woods send out Grones . Small Cottages beeing on fire , are quickly either quenched , or if not quenched , the wound that a Common-wealth receiues by them is easily cured : But when a body ( so noble ; So antient , so comely for Stature , so reuerenced for State , so richly adorned , so full of beauty , of strength , of Ceremonies : so followes , so kneeled vnto , and almost so adored as my selfe am , and euer haue béene daily ) is defaced by flames , and shaken into dust by the wrath of the breath Almighty . The very sight of this is able to bréede Earthquakes in Citties that behold it . And euen from such a height , such a happinesse , and such an honor am I fallen . My head was aduanced with the loftiest in the Kingdome , and so tender a care had the heauens ouer it , that it was taken vp and layde in the bosome of the Clouds . My aking browes rested themselues vpon the Christall Chariot of the Moone , and the Crowne of my head ( when I stoode on Tiptoe and stretched my body to the length , ) touched that Celestiall roofe , embossed all ouer with studs of golde , I did not onely ouer-looke the proudest buildinges in thée ( O thou Land-lady to so many thousands of houses ) with those also that are the inheritance of her thy next neybour : But mine eye at euery opening hadde the greatest part of the kingdome as a prospect . The Marriner then called mee his Sea-marke , for to him I stood as a Watch-tower to guide him safely to our English shore . No sooner did the Traueller by land sée me , but his heart leaped for ioy , and the wearisomnesse of his way seemed to go from him , because he knew he was in sight of the most goodly Cittie which he loued . But how often hath this glory of mine bin Ec●lipsed , and at such times when it was in the fulnes ? whether my own ambition ( in aspyring too high ) or whether the Iustice of those aboue mee in punnishing my pride , were the cause of my Fall ▪ I know not . But sure I am , that my head hath beene often laid to the blocke , and many blowes giuen to strike it off . The first blow was * giuen me when I had stood vntaynted , and vnblemished 477. years after the beginning of my foundation , for I was raised , and intituled to the name & hono●r of a Temple . about the yeare after the Incarnation 61● . And in the yeare of Redemption , 1087. was I , ( with a great parte of thy body ( O thou Best of Citties ) consumed in Fyre . But I was in a shorte time healed of those hurts , by Mauritius * ( thy Byshop ) who to defend me from after-burnings , mounted me vpon Arches & gaue me ribs of stone , which was fetched from Cane in Normandy . Frée from the mallice ( at least from the strokes ) of ruinating T●me and the enuious * blasts of Fortune ▪ did I continu● full 357. yeares together after this first blowe , but in Anno 1444. heauen smote me with lightning , yet did I presently recouer , and held vppe my heade loftier then before , * for in Anno 1462. did my body carry in heigth 52● . foot , the stone worke being 260. foot and the Spire as many . In length was I 720. foot , and in bredth 130. At the same time , did I weare on the Crowne of my head ( as it hadde bin a Crest vnto it ) a Cocke or Eagle , which beeing inconstant was ( I thinke ) destroyed for turning about with euery winde : It carryed in weight fort● poundes ▪ being of copper gilded ouer : the length from the bil to the taile four foote , the breadth ouer the wings , three foote , and a halfe , the crosse ( from the bole to the Eagle ) fifteene foote , and sixe ynches of a size , the length thereof ouer-thwarte , was fiue foote , and ten ynches . The compasse of the bole nine foote and one ynch : of which crosse ( which stood aboue my head as a rich Diadem ) the inner part was Oke , the next couer was lead , and a third ( vppon that ) of copper , which with the bole and Eagle being of Copper also ) were al gilded ouer . In this magnificence was I arrayed , thus was I with Marble Towers and Pynnacles crowned : the wonder of the world was I counted in the iudgement of all eyes that beheld mee , and the onely marke that enuie of forraigne kingdomes shot at , who did but heare of my Greatnes . But ( alacke ) how momentary is all earthly happinesse ? Howe fading is our painted Glory ? Many yeares were not numbred , but behold in Anno ▪ 1561. the hand of Heauen was once more filled with vengeance , which in clouds of fire , was there throwne vpon my head● , so that in lesse than the space of foure houres , I that was the Mirrhor of the world ( for beauty ) was made the miserablest creature in the worlde by my deformity . Yet did that woorthy and my euer to be honoured Mistris bestow vpon me in Gold 1000. Markes to make good my losses , and gaue ( besides ) warrant for a 1000. loades of Timber , to repayre my ruines : Thy Cittizens likewise ( O my dearest mother ) and the Cleargy of the Lande , were euen Prodigall of theyr pursses to set me vp againe . Some good was done vnto mee , and much good lefte vndone . This last blow was to mee fatall and deadly , for now , am I both headlesse , and honourlesse : my shoulders ●●ing daily troden vpon in scorne , branded with markes and Letters , and scoared vppon with the points of kniues and B●dkins , which howsoeuer the ignorant laugh at , those that are wise know they are Characters of my infamy , yea to so low a ●●●te am I brought , that madmen and fooles , & euery ydle companion lay wagers in mockery , onely to abuse mee . Some ( séeing me so patient to endure Crowes and Dawes ) pecking at my ribs , haue driuen tame Partridges ouer my bosome , others euen riding ouer me , and Capring vpon my backe , as if they had bin curvetting on the horse , which in despight they brought to Trample vpon me . Who therefore that did but eyther knowe or hath but heard of my former prosperity , would not gréeue to sée mée fallen into this basenes , and most contemptible bondage , but I haue deserued ( I confesse ) I haue most iustly deserued to haue these afflictions , these dishonours , and these open punnishmentes layde vppon mee , albeit they were tenne times numbred ouer and ouer . For whereas I was at first consecrated to a misticall & religious purpose ( the Ceremonies of which are daily obserued in the better part of me , for my hart is euen to this hower an Altar vpon which are offred the sacrifices of holy prayers for mens Sinnes ) yet are some limbes of my venerable bodie abused , and put to prophane , horrid and seruile customes , no maruell though my head rotte , when the bodie is so f●l of diseases : no maruell if the Diuine Executioner cut mee off by the shoulders , when in my bosom is so much horrible and close Treason practised against the King of the whole world . For albeit though I neuer yet came downe all my stayres , to bee Occuler witnesse-bearer of what I Speake , and what is ( sometimes spoake openly , and sometimes spoke in priuate ) committed in my Walkes , yet dooeth the daily sounde and Eccho of much knauish villany strike vp into mine eare . What whispering is there In Terme times , how by some slight to cheat the poore country Clients of his full purse that is stucke vnder his girdle ? What plots are layde to furnish young gallants with readie money which is shared afterwards at a Tauern ) therby to disfurnish him of his patrimony ? what buying vp of oaths , out of the hands of knightes of the Post , who for a few shillings doe daily sell their soules ? What layinge of heads is there together and ●●●ting of the brains , still and anon , as it growes towardes eleuen of the clocke , ( euen amongst those that wear guilt Rapiers by their sides ) where for that noone they may shift from Duke Humfrey , & bee furnished with a Dinner at some meaner mans Table ? What damnable bargaines of vnmercifull Brokery , & of vnmeasurable Usury are there clapt vp ? What swearing is there : yea , what swaggering , what facing and out-fasing ? What shuffling , what shouldering , what Iustling , what Ieering , what byting of Thumbs to beget quarels , what holding vppe of fingers to remember drunken méetings , what brauing with Feathers , what bearding with Mustachoes , what casting open of cloakes to publish new clothes , what muffling in cloaks to hyde broken Elbows , so that when I heare such trampling vp and downe , such spetting , such ●●lking , and such humming , ( euery mans lippes making a noise , yet not a word to be vnderstoode , ) I verily beléeue that I am the Tower of Babell newly to be builded vp , but presentlie despaire of euer béeing finished , because there is in me such a confusion of languages . For at one time , in one and the same ranke , yea , foote by foote , and elbow by elbow , shall you sée walking , the Knight , the Gull , the Gallant , the vpstart , the Gentleman , the Clowne , the Captaine , the Appel-squire , the Lawyer , the Usurer , the Cittizen , the Bankerou● , the Scholler , the Begger , the Doctor , the Ideot , the Ruffian , the Cheater , the Puritan , the Cut-throat , the Hye-men , the Low men , the True-man , and the Thiefe : of all trades & professions some , of all Countryes some ; And thus dooth my middle Isle shew like the Mediterranean Sea , in which as well the Merchant hoysts vp sayles to purchace wealth honestly , as the Rouer to light vpon prize vniu●●ly . Thus am I like a common Mart where all Commodities ( both the good and the bad ) are to be bought and solde . Thus whilest deuotion kneeles at her prayers , doth prophanation walke vnder her nose in contempt of Religion . But my lamentations are scattered with the winds , my sighes are lost in the Ayre , and I my selfe not thought worthy to stand high in the loue of those that are borne and nourished by mee . An end therefore doe I make heare of this my mourning . The Steeple of S. Paule abruptly thus breaketh off , because he felt himselfe not so well as he could wish ; The Lady of Citties ( who is gouerned by the wisedome of 24. graue Senators , all those 24. submitting themselues to the authority onely of One , thereby teaching examples of Obedience ) did thus breake silence , and renew her spéech : Tell me now ( O Westminster ) which of Vs two , haue greatest cause to complaine for the misfortune of our sons ; yet thou and I are not indifferent Iudges in this case , because it is our owne particuler : let vs therefore leaue the censure of it to the Arbite●ment of the world ; and whilest the Controuersie is in deciding , bee not thou offended with me , if now a litle I take vpon me the office of a Mother , & fall into a gentle reprehension of thée . I remember , that when thou haddest layd abroad the Ruines of thy Sonne , and yet on the top of them haddest builded vp his honors , which to doe , did in thée seeme glorious ; thou diddest then presently beginne to rip open the adulterous Wombe of those sinnes that are euery day begotten vnder thy roofes : the very naming of which , though it be odious to heauen and earth : yet diddest thou séeme to haue so little feeling of thine owne infamy , that thou diddest laugh at thy dishonor , and wert it not sory for those euilles which thou thy selfe confessest , aboundantly swarme within thée . O how palpable is thy blindnesse ! How grosse thine ignoraunce , in running into this errour ! What vpholdeth Kingdomes but gouernement ? What subuerteth licentiousnesse and disorder ? Uices in a common-wealth are as diseases in a body , if quickly they be not cured , they suddenly kill . They are Weedes in the fayrest Garden , if eare they take roote , you pull them not vp : they spoyle the wholesome Hea●hes and Flowers , and turne the Ground into a Wildernesse . There is no destruction so fearefull to a Citty , as that destruction which a Citty brings vpon it selfe : and neuer is it more néere a fall , then when it maketh much of those sins , which like Snakes lie in the bosome of it , and sucke out the bloud . All those Cankers of a State , that lye gnawing to eate thee vppe ; All those sensuall streames , that ●ow about thy body , and labour to drowne it in impieties , flowe in thy Ueynes , but as little Riuolets , but in mine they excéede all boundes , and swell vppe to an Ocean . And that the very least of them vndermineth and shaketh my strongest buildings . What abhomination reigneth in thée , which is not in me doubled ? If Pride ride vp and downe in thy Coa●hes , She is all the fore-noone at her Glasse in my priu●●e chambers , and in the after no●ne sits like a prosti●uted Harlot , tempting Passengers to the ●talles of my Inhabitantes . If Usurers ( who are Christiā Iews ) dwell in thy stréets ; I haue both Vsurers and B●okers , ( who are the English Deuils ) opening shopp●s in mine . Doost thou bring vppe Swearers , I can sweare thée downe ? Art thou Quarrelsome ? I thirst after bloud ? Is there any one in thée that scoffes at Religion ? Many there are in mee that sweare there is no Religion . As for that Monster with many heades , that Beast , ( both Male and Female ) I meane Letchery , it is within my Freedome more ma●e of , then Island Dogges are amongest Cittizens ●liues : and when it gets out of my fréedome , it is then like the place where it desires to lurk● in , for then it lyes out of the cricuite of all ciuill Liberty . In the troublesome reigne of King Stephen , there were shewed at one muster twenty thousand armed Horsemen , and thréescore thousand Footemen , all which number were Cittizens that liued within my walles : But I verily beléeue , that in this peaceable reigne of our Princes in these dayes , if a true muster were taken , there would be found almost as many Strumpets as would bee able to dare the Turke , ( with all his Concubines ) into the fielde , or to ouer-ranne all the Lowe Countries , and to spoyle the enemy , were he neuer so strong or desperate , if it came to handy● gripes . Beastes in their Act of generation vse not more community : sauage people that know not their Maker , breake not more the limites of Modesty : Common Inglers , Fidlers , and Players , doe no : more basely prostitute themselues to the pelasures of euery two-penny drunken Plebeian , than doe those Quadrantariae Me●etrices , the Mercenary Hackneies that stand at racke and manger within my suburbes . As Buls and Beares are for small pieces of Siluer to be bayted , so are these . As at common Outropes , when housholds-stuffe is to bee sold , they cry Who giues more . So stand these vppon their thresholdes , not crying Who giues more , ( only ) but Who giues any thing . But that it stands not with the Maiesty of our state , nor with the Lawes of our Religion , It were as good , nay better , to giue fréedom and liberties to the setting vp of a cōmon Stewes , as heretofore on the Banck ( opposite to thée and me on the farther side of the Thames ) it hath béene vsed . In those dayes Orders were established to kéepe this Sin within certaine boundes , but now it breakes beyond all limits . It was then enacted by a parliament ( at which thou y● hast had thy voyce in so many Parliaments wert present ) that the Bordello or common Stewes on the Bancke-side , should obserue these constitutions . First , no Stew-holder , or his wife was to compell any single Woman to stay with them against her will , but to giue her leaue to come and go at her pleasure . Secondly , that no Stew-holder should keepe any Woman to b●ard , but shee to b●●rd abroad , or where shée lysted . Thirdly , to take for a Courtezan● * Chamber not aboue 14. pence by the wéeke . Fourthly , not to kéepe open doores * vpon Holy-dayes . Fiftly , not to kéepe any single woman in his house on the Holy-dayes , but the Bailiffe to sée them voyded out of the Lordship . Sixtly , that no single woman should be detayned in any such house against her wil , hauing an intent to forsake that course of life . Seauenthly , that no Stew-ho●der was to giue entertainment to any Woman of any order in Religion , or to any mans wife . Eyghtly , that no Courtezan was to receiue hire of any man to lye with him , but she was to lye all night with him till the next morning . Ninthly , that no man was to be drawne by violence , or be inticed by any impudent and whorish allurements into any Stew-house . Tenthly , that euery Brothely or Stew-house was to bee searched wéekely by Constables , and other Officers . Lastly , That no Stew-holder should lodge in hys house any Woman that had the daungerous infirmity of burning , &c. These ( amongst others ) with penalties and punishments vppon the breath of any one of them , were the ordinances of these times , but nowe ( thankes to the negligence of this age ) though sharper Lawes doe threaten to strike , this sinne , yet they do but threaten , for they seldom strike , or if they strike , it is with the backe of the sworde of Iustice . The setting vp of a Whore-house , is now as common as the setting vp of a Trade : yea , and it goes vnder that name . A stocke of two beds and foure wenches is able to put a Lady Pandaresse into present practise , and to bring them into reasonable doings . In these shoppes ( of the worlde , the flesh and the deuill ) soules are set to sale , and bodies sent to shipwracke : men and women as familiarly goe into a chamber to damne one another on a Feather-hedde , as into a Tauerne to bee merrie with wine . But for al this it goes vnder the name of The sweet sin , and of all , they are counted Wenches of the old Religion , and for all their dancings in Tauernes , ryots in Suppers , and ruffling in Taffities , yet A cloyster of such Nunnes standes like a Spittle , for euery house in it is more infectious then that which hath a Redde Crosse ouer the dore . Such as Smithfield is to horses , such is a House of these Sisters to women : It is as fatal to thē , It is as infamous ▪ The Bawds Pettie Bawds , and Panders are the Horse-coursers that bring Iades into the market : wher they swear they are frée from diseases , whē they haue more hanging on their bones then are in a French Army ; and that they are but Coltes of halfe a years running , when they haue scarse a sounde tooth in their heades . There shall you find beastes of all ages , of all Colours , of all prices , of all paces , yet most of them gyuen to false gallops : hardly among twenty one that is good , for euery one that proues so , a hundred continue bad . Such is the quality of Smithfield Nags , such the property of Suburbe Curtizans . In briefe , their beginning is brauery , their end beggery , their life is detestable , & death ( for the most part ) damnable . Since therfore so dangerous a Serpent shootes his ranckling stinges into both our bosomes , let vs not ( as desperate of our owne estates ) open our brests to receiue them , and so be guilty to our own destruction , but rather prouide vs of Armor to resist the malice of her poyson , for be assured ( O thou that art still ready , and still most woorthy to entertaine forraygne Princes and Embassador● ) that so long as this double dealing-diuell , ( Lechery ) walks vp and down in our houses , Vengeance will neuer be driuen from our doores . A litle more must I yet chyde thée ( O thou Minion , now to Two mighty Nations ) for I begin to growe Iealious of thee , that thou séekest to rob mee of my best , my most worthy , most Princely , and my most desired Louer , to enioy him solely to thy selfe : else wherefore dost thou repine that either I , or any other of our Sister-citties , should be made happy by his company ? It shewes that thy heart is stufte with a rancke and boyling e●uie , thou gréeuest that any should prosper but thy selfe . It condemnes thee of ambition , ( which ●nne thou thinkest becomes thée , because thou art a Courtier ) It condemnes thée of Couetousnes , a vyce , than which none more vi●y blemisheth a noble mind , ( such as all Nations that haue bin thy Guests , haue neuer supposed to shine in thée . ) I esteeme my selfe the most Fortunate of all my neighbour Citties in this large kingdome , if That Royall Maister of vs both ( nay of vs all ) doe but vouchsafe to passe by mee , or but so much as to cast hys eie vpon me , and dost thou cry out Thou art vndone , when after his embracings of thée so many whole moneths ( oftentimes ) together , after his bestowing so many dignities , and so much wealth vpon thée : yea , and when hee giues thée his Royall word , not to be absent from thée long ? cannot this content thée , and satisfie the flame of thy desyres , but that thou must wish to haue him fonde ouer thée , and that the beams of his most princely and frée affection , shuld haue all their points méete in thy bosome , as their onelie fixed Obiect ? for shame desire it not , for this immoderate appetite of thine is to the dishonour and hurt of al the Citties r●and about thee . Bridle therfore these passions of thy soule , which otherwise will make thée turne wild , and win them by gentle meanes to come in , and subiect themselues to the laws of Reason . If the moyst handed Isis , shold send all her melted Siluer to that insearchable and vnknowne Treasury of Neptune , ( into which all Riuers pay their custome ) and shoulde neuer haue an profitable Returne of it , how soone would she grow poore ? Or if the Sea-god , ( out of a prodigal and flowing humor ) should do nothing but ●our his gifts into the lappe of that his Christ all bosom daughter , how soone would her swimming too hie in riches , make her forget her selfe ? and in that pride of swelling , worke the subuersion both of thée and me ? we should lye drowned in her greatnes , as other partes of the land would bee ouerwhelmed in thyne , if thou haddest what thou desirest and couetest . But thou séest the Sunne neuer tarries in one poynt of heauen alone , his remoo●ing from place to place , shewes his Soueraignty , and makes him better welcome thither , where hee hath beene the longest absent , and euen so of kinges . A Cittizen of 〈◊〉 ( to his immortall memory ) dyd in one day , feast at his Table Foure Kings ( Viz ) Edwarde the third ( king of England ) Iohn King of France , Dauid le Bruce . king of ●●ots , and the king of Cyprus , and now of late ( imitating that example ) did another of my Praeters , feast ( tho not foure kinges ) one equal in power ▪ in Maiesty and in Dominion , to all th●se 4. ( euen the Heyre and present Inheritor of 4. mighty Empires our soueraign Lord & maist ▪ Iames the 6. To looke but backe vpon which happy daies ( because I haue seene but few of thē ) makes my hart beate against my ribbes for ioy : I am proud euen in the remembraunce of them , and to the intent they may neuer be forgotten , those yeares and months that brought forth this honor vnto me , shall be Chronicled in the midst● of my bosome in Charecters of Gold. Thus do I comfort my selfe by repeating ouer the blessings bestowed vpon me by a few of our Princes , but how many of them haue feasted , banqueted and reuealed with thée ▪ And yet wouldst thou barre any of them from taking hys pleasures abroad , but onely in thy presence . Thou arte proude , and takest vpon thée to stretch forth too imperious a hand . Thou art contented to receiue in the Golden Haruest , but loath to bee shaken with the breath of Autumne . Thou likest it well to haue a Summer all the yeare , but dost not consider , that Winter is as wholesome for thy body . This shewes thy indiscretion , thy improuidence , and indulgence of thy selfe , to bee pampred like an Epicure . Thou art gréedy as the Sea , and wouldest deuoure all thinges , but wouldst part from nothing : thou art catching as ●●re , so thy self mayst be fed , thou carest not who perish . Uncharitable are thy wishes , immodest are thy longings , and most vnconscionable are thy aspyrings , and most vnneighborly are thy fore-stallings . That which thou wouldest haue done , is not ( I graunt ) against all Law , but it is with All Law , for thou desirest to haue men go to Law all the yeare long , which wish of thine is as dishonest as if it were to haue continuall warres , and continuall wars are continual Slaueries : It is as if thou shouldest wish to haue an euerlasting thunder , for what are pleadinges of causes , but noise without ceasing . Thou sayest the foure Tearmes are vnto thée as foure great Feasts , yet doost thou in bitternes of thy sorrow , cry out vpon foure Vacations : wherein thou behauest thy selfe all one , as if thou shouldest complain , because thou art not euery houre féeding . If foure Tearmes should be without tearme and neuer come to an end , those feastes which they incite thée to , would be to their incurable surfeits , and so consequently thy destruction . If the sounde of Lawyers tongues were but one whole twelue month in thine eare , thou thy selfe wouldst euen loath it , tho it were vnto thee neuer so delicate Musicke . Nothing increaseth in vs as a delight in any pleasure , but to haue that pleasure taken away for a time . But that the night offends vs with darknes , we should grow weary of the day . So that foure Vacations ( if thou canst rightly make vse of them ) may be vnto thée as 4. seueral saw●es , to sharpen thy stomacke against those great feasts , are serued vp to thy Tables . So goe to Law ( I confesse ) is necessary in a Republike ; So is it to haue a Plague , for thereby the Superfluo●s numbers of people , which otherwise ( if they increased ) would deuo●ure one another , are swept away : So is it to haue War , for the Sword cuts off those idle branches that steale away the Sap from the profitable boughes of a Kingdome . But to haue a Warre without end , or a Plague without mercy , is the vndoing of a Realme , and so would it be ▪ if men were euer in brablings . The 4. Vacations are like so many Soundings of Retreat after 4. Battailes ; in which breathing-times men renew their courages , their forces , and their manners of fight : where ( else ) the Pleader ( neuer giuing ouer ) would grow too rich , and so bee enuied , and the clyent euer spending , would be made a Beager , and so gather into faction . Uaine therefore , idle , sencelesse , shapelesse , and of no validity are those Encomiasticke honors , with which thy rhetoricall cunning hath fethered a Pen so , gaily . An Idoll hast thou made of it , whereas in the true nature it is a pyneon puld from the left wing of the deuill . A Pen ! The inuention of that , and of Incke hath brought as many curses into the world , as that damnable Witch-craft of the Fryer , who tore open the bowels of Hell , to find those murdering engines of mankind , Guns and Powder . Both these are alike in quality , in mischiefe : yea , and almost in fashion ; The Pen is the Piece that shootes , Inck is the powder that carries , and Wordes are the Bullets that kill . The one doth onely destroy men in time of warre , the other consumes men , both in warre and peace . The one batters downe Castles , the other barters them away . Cedant Arma Togae , let G●ns therefore giue place to Gownes , for the Pen is the more dangerous weapon to run vpon . Why then doost thou , nay , howe canst thou without blushing defend a cause so notoriously badde ? How darest thou hang a Trée so barren of goodnesse , and so rancke of poyson at the roote , with so many Garlandes of prayses ? Canst thou find in thy heart to write Ealogies in honour of that deadly double pointed Engine , that hath béen the confusion of so many thousands ? Then let wreathes of Lawrell Crowne their Temples , that shall sing the dishonorable Acts of those Swords , which basely haue béen inbrued in the bowels of their owne Countrey : for in what other tryumphes ( then in the afflictions of men ) are these warlike Instruments of writing imployed ? One dash of a Pen hath often beene the downefall of a man and his posterity . By help of this , Wiues practise to abuse their Husbands , by the Witch-craft of Amorous passions , ( which are coniurd out of a Goose-quill , ) Louers intice young wenches to folly . This is that which spreads abroad , and sowes the Séedes of Schismes and Heresies . This is that , which marres all Learning , and makes it contemptible , by making it common . It is the Weapon of a Foole , and oftentimes his braynes drop out of the end of it in stead of Incke . It is a sharpe G●ade that prickes our young Gentry to beggery , for in lesse than a quarter of an hower , ( with a Pen ) doe they betray all the Landes and liuings purchased by their progenitors , into the hands of Brokers , Scriueners , and Usurers . What forten hand hath euer béen working in the forge of Treason ( for the deuastation of this Kingdome , for the extirpation of the Religion in it , or for the murdering of our Princes ) But Pennes ( like Hammers on an Anuile ) haue continually béene beating out the plottes , and conueying them hither to bee made smooth , and to passe currant . What Libilles against Princes , against Péeres , against the State , or against our Magistrates , were euer ( like pricking Thornes ) thrust into the sides of this Empire , to make it bléed , of which a Pen was not guilty ? This , by leauing a word vnpoynted , was the death of Edward the second : with this , holding it but in his hand , did Richard the second giue away all the royalties belonging to a Crowne , and blotted out his owne name for euer any more to be found written with the name of a King. In conclusion , the Tragedie of so many of our Ancient Nobility , were neuer acted on Scaffo●des , but a Pen was chiefe Actor in their deaths and downefals . So then you may perceiue , that this Rauens bill draweth bloud where it once fastneth : The Iawes of a Toade ( sweating & foaming out poyson ) are not more dangerous than a Pen being filled with that banefull and venomous mixture of Gall and Copporas . Accursed therefore be that * Bird , out of whose wing , so pestilent and so malitious an enemie to humane creatures is taken : offensiue to the stomacke , be for euer the meat of it , and apt to engender mortall surfeits , sithence so small a part of it ( as a Quill , ) hath bred from the beginning , and ( til the dissolution of this Vniuersall Frame ) will be the cause of so much distemperature in the body of the Worlde . Which mischiefe that worthy Romaine Captain , who ( about the eight yéere of the raigne of Cassibelan , Brother to King Lud ( my first Founder and 54 yéeres before the King , both of Heauen and earth , sent his Sonue to dwell amongst men ) entred this Land , conquered it , & made it tributary to the people of Rome , wisely looking into , and obseruing , that Princes , Rulers , and Great personages , must of necessity ( being bound thereto by the ceremony of their birth , or by their place in the state ) yéeld sometime to that , which otherwise that noblenes of their owne bloud would abhor , did often wish that he could not know how to handle a Pen. And that Mirror of her Sexe , both for magnanimity of minde , inuinciblenesse of Spirit , and ( which is to her the greatest part of her ●ame ) for the closing vppe of so long a raigne , with so full and so grieuous a period , that Goddesse vpon earth whilest she liued , that our Good Mistris ( Eliza ) when shee was to signe any warrant for the death of any Péere , would passionately ( yet with a Spirit equal to Cea●ars ) say thus , Would to God wee had neuer beene taught how to write . And thus ( O thou that sittest crowned like an Empresse ) withall our riches and fairest Monuments haue I discharged the Office of a faithfull surueior , by telling thée what part of thy goodly body is builded too high , wherein my Counsell is that thou shouldest a little plucke downe thy Pryde And in what other part thou stan●est too low , where I could wish thée to raise it vp to a more noble Eminence . I haue likewise pointed with my finger , at al those Cracks , disioyntings , Flawes , and Flyings out , which if they bee not repayred , are able in time to shake into dust a Citty greater then thy selfe : And ( in my Reall loue to thée ) haue I scored such plaine markes vpon thy hidden Ruines , which ( like Treacherous Seruants ) receiue in stormes ( for euer to vnd● thée ) that if in any fit season , thou vnderprop them , and take down whatsoeuer is amisse , thou shalt in this thy old age growe strong and lusty againe , and with an easie Rest saue thy selfe from Falling . With a frée and vn-mercenary voyce , haue I pleaded for thy good , by discouering what is ill in thée : so that my Lectures of Reprehention may serue as wholesom Councell . Thou canst not blame me for opening thy woundes , and searching them to the quick , sithence thou séest I spare not mine owne . My pils perhaps may séeme a little bitter in going downe , but in the working thou shalt finde them as comfortable as Restoratiues . Take courage therefore to thee , and like a Prince that can commaund his owne affections ( which is the Noblest Soueraignty , be bold not onely to strike off those sicke and infected parts , about the body of the Weale-publicke , whych threaten daunger to those that are sounde , but also applie thou the same sharp medicines , which I haue ministred to thée , if hereafter ( as I often féele my self ) thou perceiuest me ready or subiect to fall into loathsome diseases . We are now both of vs as Buildings belonging to one Land lorde , so closely ioyned together in league , that the world thinkes it a thing impossible , by any violence , vnlesse we fall to ciuill discention within our selues , euer to be seperated : our handes as if it were at a marriage , are plighted one to another our bodies are still embracing , as if they were Twinnes : wee are growne so like and euerie day doe more and more so resemble each other that many who neuer knew vs before , woulde sweare that we were all One. Sithence then we are held to be so , let vs neuer bee taken to be otherwise . But as sisters do , if the one féel sorrow let the other mourne , if the one bee lifted vp to honors , let not the other repine . And as stringes to an instrument , tho we render seuerall soundes , yet let both our soundes close vp in swéet concordant Musicke . Arme thy selfe therefore ( with Mee ) to maintaine that Vnion , without whych Realmes are builded vpon sande , and On whych they are stronger then if they stood vpon Rockes . And because al Citties were bound in common ciuility , in pollicie , and in honour to maintaine their Names , their Callings , their Priuiledges , and those Ancient houses that Spring out of them , I wil in thy presence Annatomize my selfe , euen from head to foot , thou shalt know euery limbe of me , and into how many parts my bodie is deuided . My birth , may bringing vp , and my rising shall bee as manifest to thy vnderstanding as to mine , because by the wilfull ignorance of those that ought of duety to preserue my credit , my good name is oftentimes and in many places abused & taken from me . Neither would I haue thée account mee insolent , vain-glorious , or ambitious , in erecting these Trophyes of Fame to my selfe , with mine owne handes : for vpon them shall neither be ingrauen the Actes of my sumptuous Builders , ( whych would be too great an ostentation ) nor the battels which my Citizens haue oftentimes fought and won in defence of my liberties , which ( more to my glory ) might be rehearsed by others . But passing ouer the Names of some ( which to repeate would be to me an euerlasting renown ) . As to boast ( which lawfully & without the blot of arrogance I could doe ) that Constantine the Emperor y● builded Constantinople , drew his breath from my bosome , or that Maud the Empresse , did honour to me as to the mother that gaue her life , or that King Henry ( son to Henry 2 , ) was begotten in my womb , which Hen●y at the age of 7. years was maried to Marg. ( the French kings daughter ) being not two years old , & afterwards with her in the life time of his father , were crownd at Winch. But burying this glory of mine ( to be forgotten ) in the Graues where these my children lye ( now consumed to nothing ) I will onely content my selfe ( & it is but a poore ambition ) to tell thée how I came to be called a Citty . By what Names London from time to time hath bin called , and how it came to bee diuided into Wardes . OBserue me therfore ( O my most ingenious Pupill and scorne not to cal me thy Tutor ) for I must heere and there speake of some matters , that I was an Eye-witnesse to , long before thou hadst any being . Kn● thē ( because time ) who alters all things , may perhaps heereafter as hee hath done already , giue me some other new vpstart name ) that Brute from whom I tooke my byrth , after had broght me ( as thou séest to this day I abide ) close to the Ryuer of Thames , did there bestow a Name on me , & called me Troynouant or Trinouant , and sometimes Trinobant , to reuiue ( in me ) the memory of that Citty which was turned into Cinders , and that for all the spight of those Gods who hated it , there should be a new Troy which was my selfe . That was the style by which I was knowne , for the space of more than one thousand years , and then Lud chalenging me as his owne , tooke away none of my dignities , but as women marryed to great persons , loose theyr old names , so did I mine being wedded to that king , and ( after himselfe ) was crowned with the Title of Laire-lud , that is to say , the Citty of Lud or Ludstone , vpon whych some nations cald me London●ū or Longidinū , & Laodinū , others Lundayne , the Saxons Londonceaster , and London-bridge . The Spaniardes Londra , the French Londres , and nowe in these dayes the people of our owne countrey , London . In my Infant● rising was I but of base and meane estimation amongest other Citties , and was scarcelie knowne for all I was the Daughter of a king . But Ludde lifted mee vppe to high honours and greate aduauncementes , for hee set a Corronet of Towers vppon my heade , and although it were not beautifull for Ornament , yet made he for me a Gyrdle , strong for defence , which being made of Turffe and other such stuffe , trenched rounde about , serued in the Nature of a Wall or Rampyre , to keepe and defende off the assaulting enemies . Afterwardes the Romaynes beeing the Lordes of the whole Kingdome , and so consequently of mee , insteede of throwing mee into seruile Slauery , raysed mee vppe to high dignity and honour , and whereas I trembled wyth feare to ha●e my buildinges flaming about mine eares , they adorned my body , and apparrelled it rounde about with stone , for til the arriuall of that warlike and industrious Nation on our shores , the Brittons dwelt in Townes as basely builded , as those now of the wild Irish. After I was thus fashioned and refined into the ciuill and beautifull shape of a Citty , I began to be courted , and to be the onely Minio● of the Land , the Romaines fought in my quarrell ▪ the Brittons heaped vpon me honours , the Saxons ( that draue out them ) bound Garlands of victorye about my forehead . But these being beaten from my company by the Danes , I was by them spoyled of all my Ornamentes , and prostituted as a strumpet to the lust of ciuill discord , In heate of which the Normans came in rescue , chased hence that Danes recouered the whole Empyre , and reduced it into one Monarchy . From that day haue I euer since flourished , euer since haue I swelled vp in greatnes , euer since haue I bin loued of our kings , because euer since haue to our kinges bin loyall . In which prosperous growing vp of mine , all my boughes and my branches , haue more and more in stead of bearing fruit , bin replenished with multitudes of peoples , whose numbers increasing , it was thoght fit ( in policy ) that they should be quartered like Souldiers into hands , the better to bring them into order . According therfore to the Romans custome of Citties , was I diuided into certaine Signories , all of them notwithstanding , like so many streames to one Head , acknowledging a priority and subiection , to One , Greater than the rest , and who sith aboue them , those Diuisions or Partages are called Wardes , or Aldermanries , being 26 in number , which are ciuilly guarded and wisely prouided , for by 24. Aldermen , in whom is represented the dignity of Romaine Senatours , and of Two Sheriffes , who personate ( in theyr Offices and places ) the Romane Consuls . Then is there a Subdiuision , for these Greater Cantles 〈◊〉 againe 〈◊〉 into lesse , being called Parishes , which 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 number 〈◊〉 which are vnto 〈…〉 within 〈…〉 : so 〈…〉 with buildings , so furnishes with 〈…〉 people● with wealthy Cittizens , 〈◊〉 so 〈◊〉 , wisely , and peaceably gouerned . Thost things are a●well knowne to thée , 〈◊〉 to my selfe , which 〈…〉 I am willing to repeate 〈◊〉 , because that both of vs calling to minde , the greatnesse of our byrthes , and casting our eyes on the state and flourishing glory , wherein we haue alwayes carryed our selues , our misfortunes may be the more pittyed ( at the hands of for●en Citties , who may fall into the like ) séeing the present condition , in which wee nowe stand . For ( alacke ! ) What auayles it vs to beast of our former strength , of our beauties , of our honours , of our possessions , or of the Ri●h●● wherein we flow , when that wee cannot inioy our healthes , which is worth all these ; Sicknesse hath dwelt a long time in thy Chambers , she doth now walks still in a ●hostly and formidable shape vppe and downe my stréets . Shee ( with her Ill Company ) infe●teth my Sonnes and Dau●hters , and leades them dayly into such daungers , that ( in hundreds at a time ) doe they loose theyr liues . Fiue yéeres hath shee beene a troublesome Guest vnto me ; I receiued her at first , ( though I loued not her Company ) yet I giue her good entertainement , and patiently endu●ed her insulting oust mee and mine , because I knew shée was a Messenger sent from aboue . But woe to mee ( infortunate Citty ! ) Woe vnto vs both ( O my distressed Neighbour , ) shall wee neuer shake handes with her and part ? Shall our faire bodies neuer re●●uer of this Disease , which so often and often hath run all 〈◊〉 them , and doth nowe againe beginne to bee as a plague vnto vs ? Howsoeuer ( out of the fashion of Confe●●●es , or out of a pride to shew my wit ) I haue checkt thée for de●ecting thy Spirits for any stroakes of calamity , yet beléeue me , the care that I haue of my Children , whom I sée drooping , Conquers the height of my minde , subdues my Nature , 〈…〉 me ( with sorrow ) almost the gra●●ling on the ground . ●ead vnto vs both , are 〈…〉 dayes , whilest this pestilent vapour hanges ouer our heades : Dead are our pleasures , for wée do now take delight in nothing but in mourning : Dead are 〈◊〉 houres of leysure , and those which are full of 〈…〉 the Lawe it selfe , ( of whose presence wee both are glad , because we gayne by her , and because she● eue● bringes vs good and merry Company to chéere our heartes ) will sitte heauily in thy Courts of Iustice , nay , I feare shee will bee vnwilling ( séeing vs so subiect to diseases ) to sit there at all . Many a sad & black Tearme hath bin séen walking in thy Hall , ( like a Mourner ) and I perceiue by thy lookes , thou art now in feare to bee troubled with the like ▪ I cannot blame thee , neither will I chide thée , for I purpose to be as great with griefe as thy selfe . Neyther if that Blacke and Ominous day so happen and fall vpon vs , shall I wonder ▪ For I cannot see , how the Diuine Vengeance should bee driuen back , since so many bold darings are giuen , forcing it to breake through the gates of heauen . The shaking of the Rodde is not thought of , the stripes mooue vs not , the very drawing of bloud , is by some but made a mockery : to proue it I will recite vnto thee ( though to fell it , my buildinges will shake at the very horrour of the same ) A story of death , both true and new . And this it is . One ( vppon whom I had but lately bestowed the T●le and Dignity of a Cittizen ) of whome I had good hope ▪ cause I found him woorthy him to bee aduanced , taking his last leaue of mee ( as since it hath faine out ) departed to that quarter of the Land , to which from all other partes men in multitudes repayre , to sucke the swéetenesse of honest gaynes , and so to increase theyr wealth . It is a place , where ( is a large fielde ) a Citty as it were is in a fel●e dayes builded vppe , and so quickely raysed , as if it had beene done by Enchantment , and in as few daies is it afterwardes pulled down , no memory remayning of it , nor Monnument to shewe that there it stoode : though whilst the earth beareth it vppe , there be Fayre streetes , so filled with people , that they séeme to bee paued euen with the féete of men : whilest on eyther side , shops are so furnished and set forth with all rich and necessary commodities , that many comming thyther , haue taken that place for my selfe , and haue not stucke to call it by the name of Little London , so like do they sweare it hath been vnto me , both in face and fashion of body . Thither went this young Sonne of mine , and there mistaking the place , for me , layed downe his head , as thinking it had béene my bosome , but neuer lifted it vp againe . A token had hee sent from heauen , by which hee was bidden to make hast thither , hee obeyed the bringer of it , and in pawne of his soule that was gone at the iourney , left hee his cold body behind . To kéepe which safe , Two followes were hyred to hide it in the earth , they did so , vsing the body , as Souldiers do Townes which are taken , they risted it , of all that belonged vnto it , and what al men else were affraid to touch or come néere , did they ( being armed with the desire of mony ) nimbly , and Iocundly packe vppe , intending at theyr comming home to share it . No sooner had they dispatched their deadly busines , but those that had Authoritie of the place , and who made much of these two Sharkers before , when they stoode in néede of their helpe , make nowe as much hast as they can , to ridde them out of theyr company : Away therefore like Pedlers from the ende of a Fayre , so doe they send them away ●rudging . The Town looked euen sick so long as they were in it ▪ It was a killing to any Countrey ▪ fellowe to haue looked vppon them , if hee had but heard what parts in this black Tragedy of death they had played . And both of them being Porters , were taken by reason of their white Frocks , for two Ghosts walking in white Shirts : to haue drunk with these Pot-toffers hadde beene no way but one , to haue solde any drinke to them , had béene for a Tapster to haue drunke his last : nay , whosoeuer did but spy them 12. store off , or were but told that two such Rauens ( who preied vppon a dead body ) flew that way , cryed presently out , Lord haue mercy vppon vs , clapping their hard handes on their Country breastes , and looking more pale then the shéete in which the man was buryed . But the best was these Parine●s ( that dealt in such a a dead commodity ) were borne to beare , & tooke all thing● patiently . But ambling on their way towards their 〈…〉 , ( which is vnder my wing ) where they kn●we they sh●●ld finde better entertainement , their mindes were troubled ; and their téeth watered , at the remembraunce of not onely Money , but also of apparell , and other luggage which was left in the Bed chamber where the sicke man 〈…〉 which they perswaded themselues no man ( vppon payne of life ) vnlesse it were They two , 〈…〉 . They shrugged as they went , 〈…〉 backe , would they stand stone - 〈◊〉 , for their 〈…〉 ●●zzing about seuerall plottes 〈…〉 . But the powder of 〈…〉 take 〈…〉 and 〈…〉 speak nothing to help them in this 〈…〉 should they 〈…〉 itched to lay hold vpon the prize , but all the 〈…〉 in the 〈◊〉 . At length one of them hauing a more plaugy pate than his 〈◊〉 , swore 〈…〉 with sicknes , and with the 〈…〉 if he got not the bayt that he nibled at , 〈…〉 himselfe with the 〈◊〉 ) 〈…〉 for it : but if he w●nt away 〈…〉 in Cambridge 〈…〉 , The other scratched at this , and grind , instéed of gyuing applaud it , which 〈…〉 . Then 〈…〉 ( n●●re Cambridge ) 〈…〉 following 〈…〉 héed of the man , hée s 〈…〉 vp and downe ) 〈…〉 sought to stop him . At length he came to the house where the deade man had bin 〈…〉 be driuen , that was his Inne , there he would lie , that was his Bedlam , and there or no where must his mad tricks be plaid . In the end , the feare of further daunger to flowe from him ( as being thought to haue the plague ) and the authority of those that could command , made this vnruly guest be let into the same house , where entring , none durst kéep him company , but the Byrd of his own feather , and that was the sport which hee looked for : In no other chamber must he be lodged , but onely that where , al the dead mans 〈…〉 FINIS . Notes, typically marginal, from the original text Notes for div A20054-e650 Brute builded London , he conquered this I le in A●● 1108. yeares before Christ. Sybert King of the East Saxons , builded Westminster ● he raigned in An. 596. after Christ. 160. Kinges in Brittaine since Brute . * Charing-Crosse . * 316. yeeres since Charing Cross. vvas bui●ded by Ed : 1 , Anno. Ch●● . 1291. An Encomion of Charing Crosse. The sinnes of Westminster● . Drunkennesse Quartelling . Lechery . Pride . Enuy. Extortion . Auarice Vathriftines . Swearing : Knights of the Posl . The building of Westminster and London compared . 21 Kings and two Queenes besides the wiues of those Kinges haue bin crowned at Westminst . William conquerour , and his Wife the first that were crowned in Westminster . Kings buryed in Westmin . 42 Kings and Queenes and the Children of Kinges buried in West . * High water . Rough water . Ebbing water for then shee runs into the Sea , where hir length cannot be measured . Westminsters complaint . Bartholmewtide . The long vacation before Michelmas Tearme . The Court & 4. Tearmes * The Court. * The King. * The Queen and her P●ogeny . * The Counsell . * The Nobility . * The Clergy * The Ladyes of the Court. * The foure Tearmes . The good that the terms bring to westminster . How busie Westminster is in a tearme time . Going to law compared to going to war. They that haue had long sutes are like Pike-men , Chancery-mē like Bill-men . The hurt that vacations doe to Westminster . Praise of the Law. Paradox in prayse of going to law . A Paradox in praise of a Pen. It giues charters to citties , binds leagues of Ammitie with forraign Nations . Notes for div A20054-e4260 109. parishes in London . * Charing Crosse. Warres of the Barons in K. Stephens raigne . Mad parliament at Oxford held by the Barons in 23. of Henry the third . Rebellion in Essex by Wa●●yk● . Rebellion in Ke●●● lack Cade . Dissention of the two Families , Lancaster and Yorke . Battaile on Palm sunday . * Pauls steeple London speaking to Pauls steeple . Notes for div A20054-e4970 The first bringers of the fayth into this Land. * pauls church builded about the year after Christ 610 , & about 477. yeares after was consumed by fire 1087 in the time of Willi● Conqueror . * Mauritius repayred it & new built it of stone . * 1444 in the raign of Henry 6 , Burnt with lightning . * The description of the Steeple when it was at the H●i●th , & of the body of the church as it is now 1561 in the raigne of Q : Elizabeth fyred by lightning 4. of Iu : Q. Elizabeth gaue 1000 marks in gold to reedifie the Ch●rch 8 Partridges on the top of Powles in an . 1597 A horse there likewise in An. 1600. The quyre in which is diuine service twice euerie day in the yeare . The bodie of the Church serues onely for walkes The walks in Paules 24. Aldermes L : Mayor . Londons speech to westminster continued . Cities soonest destroy themselues . The sinnes of London . First Pride Vsury Brokery Periury Murder Atheisme Lechery Orders for the Stewes . Our suburb Bawdes keepe ordinaries for all commers * The price of sin is raysed , & so are the rents . * Noctes atque does now . Officers now haue siluer eies and canot see . Few Turne-coates in houses of this Religion . Aswell Pu●itane as Protestant are welcome . Now they work like Bakers night and day . Now they vse plaine dealing They are searched daily . ●amque vrit flaminant dull●s . King Iames. The Thames who takes the name from Thame & Isi● Hen. Pichard v●●ner , maior in An. 30 , of Edward 3. Sir Iohn wat 's Clothwerker Lord Mayor now this present yea , 1607 A paradox in praise of Vacations . Inuectiue against a Pen. The wordes were these , E●u●rdam nec●le●e nolite 〈◊〉 bonu●● est . * A Goose. Iulius Caesar , 54. yeeres before Christ , conquered Brittaine . Constantine the Emperor Mawd the Empresse , and Henry son to Henry 2 born in London . Notes for div A20054-e8880 The Names of London . Lud made a wall about London of Turfe &c , but the Romain● cause● it to be made of stone . The seuerall Nations that conquered this land frō time to time How London cam to be deuided into Wards . Londons cōplaint about the Plague . A description of Sturbridge fayre . The death of a young man a linnen Draper dwelling in Friday-street . The two Porters of London .