The splendor of good manners THE SPLEND[OR OF GOOD MANNERS THE SPLENDOR OF GOOD MANNERS Prepared by a Committee of Sisters of The Third Order of St. Francis of the Perpetual Adoration under the direction of His Excellency, the Most Rev. Alexander J. McGavick, D. D. for the Youth of the Diocese of La Crosse FOREWORD The Splendor of Good Manners should help to make smoother and therefore easier the road to success, in life for all who devote to it careful reading and practice it unfailingly. In those who would propagate the Christ-life by good example it will be such an ornament to the Christ-way of living that even on their human side Christlike acts will have a grace and beauty that will make them all the more agreeable and instructive to others. It will therefore be an aid to success for everyone in either the secular or spiritual sphere, whether serving man or God. V I expect to donate a copy of The Splendor of Good Manners each year to the Seniors in all diocesan and parish high schools of the diocese of La Crosse, and with each copy I send in advance to all such students the assurance of my good wishes for their success in this life and in eternity. May I ask the favor of even one brief prayer for those who in time to come may profit by this book. I express my gratitude to the Sisters of St. Rose Convent by whom it was prepared. Sincerely in Christ, fy Bishop of La Crosse Feast of Chair of St. Peter, 1944 First edition, 1944—5,000 Second edition, 1946—5,000 TABLE OF CONTENTS Good Manners in Church - - - - Good Manners at Home - . - - Good Manners at Table - - - _ Good Manners at School - - - . Good Manners at Wodk - - . . Good Manners in Dress and Grooming Good Manners at Recreation - - - Good Manners in Public Places Good Manners in Contacts - - . Miscellaneous Good Manners - - - Good Morals and Good Manners / >,' iV ' 'V:- ' . ’-i - . ,*artner to the dance floor and also off the floor. She should refrain from applauding the orchestra. Don’t monopolize any section of the floor or isolate your partner and your- dance. The gentle- 53 self from the crowd. The gentleman should assume all responsibility for bumping into another couple and apologize by saying, “I’m sorry,” or , “I beg your pardon.” Everyone joins in the Grand March. The lady takes her escort’s arm. Grand marches should never be too slow or too long. If a gentleman has taken a young lady to a dance, she has the first and last dances with him. If there are refreshments, they go together and usually have the dance together before and after. Both are free to dance with any or all of the group, provided an in- troduction is made; but the gentleriian will always see to it that she is never without a partner. SEE THAT THE CHAPERONS ARE HAVING A GOOD TIME, TOO. They are your guests, who are willing to favor you with their protection and help. They are not to be treated as policewomen. It is well to ask both men and women to chaperon, so that they can dance and enjoy themselves. Cultured people take pride in an attractive and grace- ful posture on the dance floor. Self-respecting persons avoid the cheek-to-cheek, head-nestling-on-the-shoulder, or vine-clinging positions, not merely to escape public censure, but especially to avoid the occasion of sin. The world is wi’ong only because individuals are wrong. Never should a couple sit in a car or ih some secluded spot during a dance. If you are tired dancing, visit with your chaperon. Chewing gum or eating candy oh the dance floor indicates a lack of refinement. Eat a good meal before you go, so that you will be able to wait until time for refreshments. 54 I Acting as though you had lost the power of speech or closing the eyes while dancing is taboo. Do not cheapen yourself by dancing with persons of question- able character. Your conduct at a public dance must be more reserved than at a private dance where you are well known to everyone. However, even here never lose sight of the dignity which is yours as a Catholic. Be loyal to the Royal in you. AT THE CLOSE OF A DANCE, the man asks the lady where she wishes to be seated. He thanks her, to which she may reply, “I enjoyed it, too.” If he wishes, he may visit with her until the next dance. DO NOT FEEL THAT IT IS ALWAYS NECES- SARY TO EAT after a public social event. However, if you do, a lady should show some regard for her escort’s pocket- book. He should mean more to her than his wealth. It does not require much time to build up a reputation of being a “gold digger.” A lady will be moderate in her demands. EXPRESS APPRECIA- TION TO THE HOST AND HOSTESS. Thank them for inviting you and assure them you had a good time. The mother -is always the hostess, although the young people act as hosts and hostesses. 55 Young people should go directly home from social events. On arriving, the escort stays only long enough to see the lady safely into the house. She is perfectly capable of going in without first being kissed. He thanks her for going with him; she assures him she has had a good time; and with a pleasant and quiet “Good night” both go their way. It is a beautiful custom in some homes for young people to talk over with parents the happenings of the evening before retiring. A Few Signposts for Dating WHEN A LADY IS INVITED OUT BY A GENTLE- MAN, she is his guest and expects to be treated as such. Though she is able to open doors and seat her- self at table without assistance, she gives him oppor- tunity to perform these little acts of chivalry for her. They are ceremonies of sociability which mark him as a knight. He likes to perform them if her person- ality is worthy of such attentions. The knight will be proud of his lady, and vice versa, if each does the right thing in the right way. “Graciousness grows in the great.” If the evening is to be spent together, the general rules of Christian courtesy will safeguard the moral and social integrity of each. She will be modest in all things, and he will champion that modesty under all circumstances. Both will have courage to defy what might offend God or society. Double-dating with relatives or friends lessens the worry of occasions of sin. It also assures more fun—clean fun. 56 When riding, the gentleman will assist his lady into the car and out of it. During the drive observe all traffic laws. Conversation is considered a clever game, and here is one place where players are put to a test. Be interested in each other’s interests. Talk about worth-while topics. Have no regrets at the end of the evening. Parking on a side road or in an out-of-the-way place puts you in an occasion of danger. If you are tired of driving and have no place to go, spend the rest of the evening with the folks. KNIGHTHOOD’S CHIEF DUTY IS PRO'TEC'nON. If the street or lobby is crowded, a lady may slip her hand through her escort’s arm. He makes a mistake by taking hers, except when giving her assistance. Whether he walks on her right or left depends on from which side she needs the most protection. Avoid that helpful clutching grip; The modem miss won’t fall or trip. A lady should complete her toilet before her escort arrives. It is not only bad form but evidence of lack of charm to be continually admiring herself in her mirror or rearranging her hair or make-up. The gentleman may begin to wonder what her natural face must be to need such constant attention. A man talks less about beauty, charm, and cleverness; but he ex- pects more. DO NOT SAY OR DO ANYTHING THAT WOULD WOUND EACH OTHER’S FEELINGS. No man likes his lady to flirt with other men to attract their atten- 57 tion. He considers such conduct cheap. The most typical meaning of the word “cheapness” is exemplified in the girl who puts no value on herself. She shows no reserve mentally, morally, or physically. She confides most personal and intimate details of her life to strangers. She exacts no courtes3^ and doesn’t mind being nudged, pushed, or shoved. And, having no sense of personal value, she is willing to be kissed and petted and is dangerously frivolous. Such do not de- serve the name Christian. A clean, cultured, Christian lady will be popular without seeking popularity. Ex- cellence is alone imperishable ; bad manners and vulgar behavior will eventually be shunned. The question often arises, “How far may a girl run after a man,” The answer is, “Run ? Not a step.” But she may invite him to any party; or she may ask a new acquaintance to visit her. Keeping within the bounds of common sense, she may invite him to write to her, or accompany her to a theater for which she has two tickets. It isn’t so much what she does as how she does it. Catholics should be cai’eful to date Catholics. Thej’ will remember that a pure, wholesome courtship is the surest guarantee of a happy married life, founded on mutual reverence. The Church is wise in her admoni- tions; follow them. Driving “DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU.” This -motto should guide drivers of automobiles at all times. Traffic regulations 58 are made for peace and harmony. Founded on safety and decency, they serve to remind Christians to re- spect the rights of others. DRIVERS, KEEP BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL and at least one eye on the road. Speeding simply risks lives. Observe all traffic laws and warning signs. Using the slogan, “It’s all right if I don’t get caught,” has ruined many lives and caused bitter regrets. Pas- sengers must refrain from “back-seat driving.” Avoid anything that would distract the driver’s attention from the wheel. Preferred seats are the one in front and the outside ones in the rear. Give these to guests and elders. The host or hostess should consult the guest’s preference as to having windows opened or closed; but the guest should not open or close them without permission of the host. Guests on a motor trip should take as little baggage as possible. Gentlemen always open and close the doors and assist ladies into and out of the car. Young ladies will assist older women. Too many per- sons should not be crowded into a car. Girls should never be expected to sit on boys’ laps. “NECKING AND PE'TTING” are dangerously im- moral and often bring about spiritual disaster. Be- sides, too many physical accidents are caused by un- controlled conduct of this nature. Catholics should shun such behavior in themselves and show disgiist when they witness it in others. Your open acknowl- edgment of higher ideals will draw others to follow you. God will be pleased, and you will be happy be- cause sin has . been forestalled. 59 DO NOT TAKE ANY MORE THAN YOUR SHARE OF THE ROAD OR PARKING SPACE. Be consider- ate of another’s eyesight and dim your lights when meeting another car. Blow your horn as a warning when necessary, but don’t be childishly rude by tooting it when there is a tie-up in traffic. It is futile to scream out an abuse to pedestrians and other motorists. Reserve singing the latest song hits for the high- ways bounded by woods and open fields. Rowdy be- havior can become criminal conduct. When motoring through the streets at night, be considerate of those who may have retired. Gaines “GAMES,” said Benjamin Franklin, “LUBRICATE THE MIND.” They smooth social relations, too. De- prive the world of its amusements—^golf and tennis, cards and balls, conversation, even—and little remains for sociability. No one takes games too seriously. A good player knows how to win modestly and to lose with grace. Keep your mind on the game and not on your feelings. Be enthusiastic in your loyalty to your own team, but recognize and applaud an opponent’s good play, too. Booing is always taboo. Realize the tnie meaning of “fair play.” A cheat, w^hether in checkers, cards, or athletics, will gradually be shunned. WHEN THE GAME ENDS, part as friends. If you or your side wins, all the better; but don’t boast over the victory. If you lose, accept the defeat with dignity. Shouting about unfairaess only attracts attention. 60 Impressions made by a noisy few reflect on the school or group you represent. Let your opponents feel they have given you a good time. “TO ERR IS HUMAN,” and even referees may make a mistake. Usually they are competent and fair, and it doesn’t make any difference to them who wins the game. Your criticism and booing do not change the score; they only label you a “poor sport.” If you are on the team, keep in mind that co-operation is all im- portant. Besides being disloyal, it is “cheap” to play to the grand- stand. Shouting, “Can’t you take it?” to a dis- abled player is entirely uncalled for. A cheer should be given the un- fortunate, no matter to what team he belongs. GET BEHIND THE CHEER LEADERS AND GIVE THEM YOUR FULL SUPPORT. Catholic groups will never use “shady” words or phrases in their cheers or show approval when hearing them, lady as a flirt. Giggling, waving, or doing anything to attract the attention of that handsome stranger brands a young Avoid all forms of social osteopathy; such as, rib- nudging and back-slapping, while waiting for the game to begin or during the play. Self-restraint gives you that cultured poise so desirable in all group activities. Fidgeting, humming, foot-tapping, boisterous laugh- ter, violent arguing, all come from a lack of self- restraint. Be interested in the game you are playing or stay out of it. The half-hearted player who is forever ask- ing, “Oh, is it my turn?”- is an annoyance. THE COURTSY OF HAVING THE FIRST TURN IS GIVEN TO YOUR GUEST. Men allow ladies to take turns ahead of them when this does not conflict with the rules. A lady should not expect special privileges or to be provided with equipment merely because of her sex. , Don’t be a “sponger.” If you can’t afford to go to all the events you would like or have all the delicacies your appetite craves, do without them. Abstinence and self-denial are strength for your soul. 62 GOOD MANNERS IN PUBLIC PLACES Of courtesy it is much less Than courage of heart and holiness; Yet in my walks it seems to me That the grace of God is in courtesy.—Belloc MANNERS PORTRAY PERSONALITY. Good man- ners in public places are the courteous expression of thoughtfulness for others. The truly polite person will be unselfish in thought, word, and action. The self-centered individual finds courtesy difficult. He is bored and uneasy in public. There is as much grace needed for receiving courtesy as for extending it. Show that you sincerely appreciate anything done for your convenience in public places. TWO GENERAL RULES FOR CONDUCT IN PUB Lie PLACES are : Be considerate of others ; and never do anything that would make you unpleasantly conspicuous. Everything you do to another is done to Christ. He Himself has said, “As long as you did it to one of these ,my least brethren, you did it to Me.” All people you meet in public places should be considered in the category of His “brethren.” It is not Christian to treat anyone as inferior. Courtesy is not to be re- served for those who can do a favor in return. Courtesy is catholic; it embraces everyone—housemaids, store clerks, depot agents, telephone operators, waiters, traf- 63 fic officers, newsboys, hired hands, bus drivers, soldiers, sailors, marines, sti^t cleaners; in fact, all public workers. If circumstances are not to your taste or convenience, put up with them. Angrj', vociferous protests in public are ill-mannered and unchristian. Ti-ain HAVE ALL PREPARATIONS AND RESERVA- TIONS MADE AHEAD OF TIME. Realize that public places are for the use of the public in general and not for a few people. Difficulties, unkindness, and loss of temper will thus be avoided. Railroad stations are a conspicuous example of this sort of abuse. Keep in line at the ticket window. Be courteous when asking for information and gratefully acknowledge the serv- ice. Avoid boisterousness or loud complaining if the train is not on time. The dignified person does not parade about to attract attention. Remember that your baggage should be neat, trim- looking, and representative of yourself. The smart thing is to cany the smallest possible amount. BE CONTINUALLY CONSCIOUS OF OTHERS. There is perhaps no other place where people have so many opportunities for practicing unselfishness and “bearing with one another.” Good judgment and common sense are your best guides in the matter of making acquaintances. Young people should be waiy bf older persons who suddenly show too much interest in them. If spoken to, be 64 polite ; but never enter into a long conversation or give your name and address to a chance acquaintance. Pay your own way and ask information only from uni- formed attendants. Do not feel obliged to entertain those seated with you. Take reading material along and amuse yourself. IF YOU MUST EAT LUNCH IN THE COACH, do it as unobtrusively as possible. Do not take along strong-scented food, the odor of which permeates the entire coach. Avoid eating too frequently. Do not abuse the use of lavatory accommodations in j^our efforts to appear fresh and attractive. When others are waiting to use the mirror or to wash, make it your business to finish as quickly as possible. In return for the free use of these conveniences, everyone ought to be willing to properly dispose of used toweling. Leave the washbowl in a presentable condition. The lavatory should not be used for smoking. IF YOU MUST SMOKE, be considerate of others about you. Avoid smoking in the coach if possible. IF YOU USE A SLEEPER, tip the porter 25 cents a night. The dining-car waiter is tipped ten per cent of your bill. Be courteous to those who serve you and give tips for any extra service. Buses—Streetcars THE SPIRIT OF CHIVALRY is noticeably lacking in travel today. Buses and streetcars offer specific examples. You dare to be different. Do not rush to get on a car or bus ahead of women and old i)eople. Stand aside and let those who are infirm or older pre- 65 cede you. If a lady is accompanied by a man, she enters first. He assists her, at the step and, if she is his guest, pays her fare. On leaving, he alights first in order to assist her. Any inquiries about transfers, routes, or destinations should be made by him. It is just as true today as it was in Sir Galahad’s time that respectful men and boys will not sit in the pres- ence of ladies who are standing. However, it is rather discouraging for a gentleman to have a lady silently take his politely vacated seat with an air of, “Well, it’s about time somebody remembered I’m a lady!” A pleasant smile and a sincere “Thank you” should be his rewafd. IT IS RUDE AND SELFISH TO PUSH OR RUSH FOR A SEAT. Always rise to give your seat to a priest, a religious, or an older person. Cripples or a mother carrying a child always deserve this courtesy. Do this as quietly and tactfully as possible; then move away, so as to relieve the person of any embarrassment. This rule applies to ladies as well as gentlemen when the car is crowded. The seat nearest the window is the preferred one. A gentleman gives it to his lady, and a younger person to an elder. When you are standing, step aside for those who are moving toward the door. NEVER CHEW GUM OR EAT ANYTHING IN A STREETCAR OR BUS. Observe strictly the “No smoking” rule. Spitting on the floor is not only bad manners but also contrary to health laws. It is rude to read the newspaper over anyone’s shoul- der. Buy your own paper or hope your neighbor will ^ leave his copy when he gets off the car. 66 CHEERY GREETINGS AND A PLEASANT SMILE will create a friendly atmosphere even in a public con- veyance. Strive for a helpful attitude rather than that of insisting on your rights. Respect the worker with rough hands and greasy clothes. He is one of Christ’s brethren, who labors so that you may enjoy life’s goods. The keynote of courtesy in public is unobtrusiveness. Loud talking and boisterous laughing will make you conspicuous. Moderate your voice to suit the environ- ment. Avoid using names in conversations. The world is a small place, and strange coincidences often happen. Shun gossip as you would a plague. A Christ- like character “speaks no scandal, no, nor listens to it.” Street PEOPLE WHO NEVER SEE YOU EXCEPT ON THE STREET, FORM THEIR OPINION OF YOUR CONDUCT AS THEY SEE IT THERE. Gentlemen always raise their hats to dignitaries and ladies. In a spirit of reverence, greet all priests and religious. Pleasantly greet friends and ac- quaintances, giving their name: “Good morning, Mrs. Brown.” If a gentleman wishes to speak to a lady, he offers to accompany her a short distance. , Lounging on street corners, be- ing boisterous before pool halls, or in any way drawing attention to yourself makes you offensive. A lady or gentlernan will not be lioisy 67 on the street; neither will he call out to an acquaint- ance. Thoughtless hilarity may disturb an entire neighborhood. Respect the rights of others. Running on the street or walking three or four abreast is impolite. Keep to the right of the sidewalk, especially when meeting others. Do not push or jostle in a crowd. Notice the traffic signals and observe them. Even in small towns it is unsafe to cross the street in the middle of the block. Do not cross diagonally at a street intersection. Stop, look, and listen before crossing. A LADY DOES NOT TAKE HER ESCORT’S ARM when walking on a street unless there is some reason for doing so. A gentleman never actually takes his lady’s arm, but he may lightly support her elbow when crossing a street. He should offer to carry her um- brella, book, or packages. This courtesy need not be offered if the gentleman is a priest or an officer. Unsightly bundles should be avoided. A GENTLEMAN USUALLY TAKES THE CURB SIDE when walking with a lady. If for any reason, she needs protection from the other side, he will walk there instead. If the gentleman wishes to change sides, he steps behind her. When he walks with two ladies, his place is on the outside^ not 68 between them. A lady with two men walks between them. Be considerate of older or disabled people. Assist them across the street, give them information, and be generally helpful. CIVIC PRIDE SHOULD PROMPT YOU NOT TO THROW REFUSE ON THE SIDEWALK. Candy wrappers, handbills, bits of paper, and other waste material should be thrown into refuse cans or carried into the house to be burned. Shopping SHOPPERS COME IN CONTACT WITH A VARIED PUBLIC. Have consideration for the comfort and safety of others. A revolving door becomes a real danger when heedless persons are in a hurry. Take your time and your turn. The thoughtless and crude elbow their way up to the counters or into the elevator. Do not snatch merchandise from the hands of others. Attempting to force your way in a moving line of customers is offensive and dangerous. Stopping to chat in a congested aisle causes considerable annoy- ance. Keep command of your temper when you are annoyed. Practice the golden rule, and things will adjust themselves. Window shopping should never obstruct the free movement of the crowd. Those who smoke while shopping are a real menace. Great losses in stores have resulted from the careless stupidity of such smokers. Respect the rights, the feelings, and the property of your neighbor. Carry an umbrella so as not to inconvenience those you meet. When using the umbrella, do not allow the 69 drippings to fall on others. Crouching under a low- held umbrella and pushing into the crowd ruffles tempers. IT IS COWARDLY TO ABUSE A CLERK. She is defenseless. Employers demand that she be courteous. When relations are amicable, you are more likely to be well sei*ved. A clerk likes to wait upon a pleasant customer. Don’t expect the clerk to display all the goods for your benefit, especially if they do not suit your puiTJOse. Never leave while she is searching for something about which you have inquired. Leave with a “Thank 3'ou,” even if j'ou did' not find what you wanted. Making scenes is ill-mannered. Complain to the floor manager, if necessary, and jmu will receive fair treatment. Don’t insist on pulling down “ceiling prices.” Buy according to j'our means. Cany your parcels gracefully so that others maj' pass you with safety’. Restaui'ant IT IS IMPORTANT THAT EVERYONE BECOME ACQUAINTED WI'TH CORRECT PROCEDURE IN PUBLIC EATING PLACES. Not all these places are proper for ladies. Gentlemen should be mindful of this. If there is no waiter, the gentleman leads the way to the table. He pulls out the chair and helps the lady remove her wraps. They may be laid over the back of her chair. She never removes her hat. He hangs 70 his coat and hat on a rack near the table, unless they have been checked at the door. He never takes his hat to the table. Parcels may be placed on the lap or on the floor, unless there is an empty chair. Handker chiefs should be kept off the table. If the waiter does not hand the lady a menu card, her escort should. Everyone should know that a la carte (a la kart) orders (separate items from the card) cost more than the table d’hote (ta-b’l dote’) meal (the regular dinner at a set price) . Ladies should not order a dinner if they have been invited to have a luncheon or a snack. Exceeding the limit ©f the average al- lowance usually leads to the lessening of invita- tions. If she is not sure of her escort’s means, a lady will ask him to order for her or order some- jUj thing inexpensive. Even \1 y if he is wealthy, she will ^ be moderate. Gentlemen are wise to give tentative suggestions ; she should take the hint. He gives the orders to the waitress. When two ladies are dining together, each gives her own order unless one is acting as hostess. The same rule holds for men. BE COURTEOUS TO THE WAITRESS. She can- not retaliate without being in danger of losing her position. She may be more refined than you. You may have more money; she, more manners. It is proper to tip the waitress at least ten per cent of the 71 amount of your bill. If you want extra service from her, politely call her. Do not try to get her attention by whistling or tapping on a glass. Comments on the food ought to be confined to ap- proval. Do not ask for things not on the menu. Never be ashamed to admit that it is a day of fast or abstinence. MASTER GOOD TABLE MANNERS AND USE THEM ALWAYS. Customs in localities vary in regard to details, but there is no diversity of opinion on fundamentals. Choose the foods you know how to handle. Conversation should be cheerful and natural. Gossip or personal affairs should be avoided. A newspaper should not be read unless one is alone. Never arrange the hair or adjust clothing at table. Ladies will keep the mirror and compact in their purses. The well-mannered person will never use a toothpick except in private. When you enter or leave a restaurant and chance to see acquaintances, do not stop at their table. You force them to ask you to sit with them. Even if asked to join, decline unless they insist. Should someone stop to speak to you while you are seated, the gentleman rises, placing his napkin on the table unless the speaker be an equal. Ladies do not rise unless approached by a much older lady. The visit should be brief, unless the visitors are asked to be seated. DO NOT MAKE THE RESTAURANT A SMOKER. A pall of tobacco smoke afflicts the lungs and makes the food tasteless. Be moderate. If you feel that 72 smoking annoys others at table, avoid it entirely. Be- fore lighting a cigarette, it is expected that you ask • your companion, “Do you object to my smoking?” Never put ashes on the dishes; ask for a tray. Mistakes are easily made, so it is correct to look over a bill before paying it. Notice if you are to pay the waitress or the cashier at the door. On leaving, the gentleman will help his lady with her coat. She precedes him in going out while he holds the door. Library A TASTE FOR GOOD BOOKS will bring untold pleasure in later years. Be guided in the choice of books. The best minds of all times are at your disposal and ready for your companionship through their books. Learn the rules of the library and observe them. Polite and accurate applications for books make the librarian’s work easier. Never remove a book from the library unless you have had it checked out by the librai'ian. Common justice demands this. Be sure to return it to the library in time; in fact, return the book to the library before it is due if you have finished read^ ing it. Others may be waiting to get pleasure from the same book. 73 Should you have a book that is overdue, pay the usual library fine promptly. A fine is a fair demand of any library. Should you lose or ruin a book, you are obliged to pay for it. A QUIET ATMOSPHERE should prevail in the library. Cease talking immediately upon entering. Walk noiselessly. Libraries should be used for reading or study. Do not lounge in any part. Going there to visit with friends will disturb others. The only recre- ation that should be had in a library is that which comes from quiet reading. It is against all rules of good manners to eat candy or anything else in a library. Remember that any book that is taken out in your name is your responsibility. For this reason do not loan a book to another. It is better for you to return the book to the library and let your friend draw it on his own card. But in any case, as long as the book is out in your name, you are responsible for it. Never lay an open book face downward on the table. Do not use a pencil or any such thick article for a book- mark. This ruins the binding. Avoid turning down the edge of a page to mark your place. Use a flat bookmark. It is far better to lose your place in a book than to injure it through the use of improper book- marks. Never leave a library book, or any book of your own, lying around, much less out of doors. Never place a book on top of a radiator. Heat dries out the binding and ruins the book. 74 Large, heavy books should not be held in the hands ; they should be laid on the table while you are using them. Otherwise the binding is loosened. Do not leave books that you have been reading on the chairs in the library. Librarians prefer that you leave them on the table. IT IS SHEER VANDALISM TO TEAR A PAGE OUT OF A BOOK, no matter how important the ref- erence may be to you. To steal a book is a sin. It is always wrong to deface or to mar a book in any way. DO NOT GET THE HABIT OF BORROWING BOOKS FROM OTHERS. Should a friend loan you one from his private collection, be absolutely certain that you return it promptly. People who do not return books they have borrowed are a plague to thousands of book lovers. ; MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERS should be re- placed in their proper place in the magazine racks. It is very unfair to others and opposed to library rules to take magazines or newspapers out of the library. Should you bring your own personal copy of a news- paper to the library to read, be sure that you fold it up and take it with you when you leave. After reading a newspaper in the library or anywhere else, always turn the pages back to their proper order and neatly fold the paper. Some people leave unfolded papers lying around. Courtesy demands that the paper or magazine be left in the proper order for the next reader. Do not throw or leave any waste paper on the floor or on the tables. Quietly crumple the paper and put it into your pocket or into the wastebasket. Should 75 you see paper on the floor, pick it up. Help to keep the library neat. When you rise from your chair, be sure to place it back in the proper place against the table. Show appreciation for services given you. Leave quietly. ii!^ 76 GOOD MANNERS IN CONTACTS Introductions LEARN THE FOLLOWING PRINCIPLES THAT GOVERN INTRODUCTIONS; then even an ambassa- dor will not cause you to lose your poise. Both persons are to be introduced; one is being introduced to the other. The older or more important person is addressed first. The woman or girl is addressed first when a man is being presented. (Note exception below.) THE WELL-BRED WILL USE THESE FORMS IN INTRODUCING. Informal: “May I introduce Miss Smith.” “I w'ould like to have you meet Robert Walker.” “Mrs. Smith, Mr. Jones.” “Miss Brown, this is Mr. Gold.” Formal: “May I present Senator Walsh.” This form is reserved for presentation to persons in high positions, as the President of the United States. A PERSON OF GRACE WILL AVOID THESE IN- CORRECT FORMS OF INTRODUCTION: “Miss Smith, shake hands with Mr. Blade,” or “Meet Mr. Lord.” Do not make an introduction com- pulsory. ' 77 “Miss Edgar, meet my friend, Ted Right.” This implies that the other person is not your friend. “Mr. Murry, I want to make you acquainted with Mrs. Fossum.” This is too long and awkward. Jealously regard these properties of precedence in introductions: A gentleman is introduced to a lady: “Miss Brown, this is Mr. Gold.” Exceptions to this rule are: clergy, older persons, royal personages, and per- sons of high rank ; in which case the form is reversed': “Your Excellency, Bishop McGavick, may I present Miss Jones.” Introduce a young person to an older person: “Mrs. Smith, Mary Miles.” A single woman is presented to a married woman: “Mrs. Thompson, I would like to have you meet Miss Lind.” Introduce a person of lower rank to a person of higher rank: “Major Bond, Ensign Willington.” In- troduce everyone (except high dignitaries) to your mother: “Mother, this is Elaine Ross.” At school, this order is reversed, because the teachers serve as 78 hostesses to visiting parents. “Mr. Rund, our gym intructor, this is my mother.” Introduce your mother or friend to a Sister : “Sister Mary, my mother.” YOUR RESPONSE TO INTRODUCTIONS should be colored by poise and cordiality : “How do you do.” This is not said with a rising inflection; it is not meant as a question. “How do you do, Mr. Cummings.” Repeating the name gives the nice touch of an alert mind. “I have heard Tom speak of you often,” or, “I’ve been wanting to meet you,” or, “I am very glad to know you.” Use these forms if you are sincerely glad to meet the person. These expressions are taboo: “Pleased to meet you.” You can’t be so sure at the first meeting. “Charmed.” This carries an air of affectation and insincerity. THE MATTER OF STANDING AND OF SHAK- ING HANDS. A man always stands for an introduction. A woman remains seated when being introduced to a man, unless he is an elder or a distinguished person. A younger woman stands when introduced to an older woman. A man always shakes hands with another man upon introduction. A woman may, or may not, shake hands as she chooses. However, if a hand be proffered, in all courtesy she should not refuse it. Personality is expressed in a handshake. Use a pleasant grip that will create a favorable impression; then, begin a pleasant conversation. Ease off your introduction with such courteous remarks as: “I hope I will meet you again,” “I enjoyed meeting you.” The response may be: “Thank you,” or “It was mutual.” The above remarks are superfluous for brief, casual introductions. Telephone Calls YOUR VOICE IS ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS TO CONSIDER in a telephone conversation. Speak slowly and politely, not too softly or too loud. These are correct forms for answering: “This is Wilton, 0872.” “Milton’s residence.” “Milton’s residence, Mary speaking.” “Mary Milton speaking,” or merely your name, “Mary Milton.” If the call comes for one of the members of the family, answer: “He is here; I will call him.” Or say, “I’m sorry, he is not here. May I take the message or your number?” In business calls, answer the phone according to the instruction of your employer. Some correct business forms are: “Station WKBH. Good morning.” “Good afternoon. Singer Sewing Machine Service Center.” “A. W. Miles Law Firm, Miss Smith speaking.” WHIEN CALUNG, do not demand, “Who is this?” Ask for the person to whom you wish to speak. The 80 telephone is not the place for jokes or gossip. Don’t annoy your family by being coy and endlessly giggly over the phone. Girls should not call boys except in real necessity. Besides cheapening the girl, it places the boy in an uncomfortable position. Be discreet in the time you call. An interrupted meal or disturbed slumber is annoying to others. The person who makes the call is the one to close it. When using the phone, consider not only the person at the other end of the wire, but also the desire and needs of your household. That means no monopoly. Courtesy to the operator is always in order. “Please’" and “Thank you” are always in place. Letter Writing ' 'raERE IS GREAT JOY IN HAVING THE POST- MAN BRING A LETTER ADDRESSED TO YOU. Yet, letter writing is a two-way traffic. You must reciprocate. Correspondence is becoming a lost art in these days of the handy telephone and the “Why not wire ?” campaign. A CERTAIN MARK OF A THOUGHTFUL, DE- VOTED PERSONALITY IS A LETTER. Since your personality is revealed in your writing, always attempt to write a charming letter. You say it is hard to write a letter? Do not settle down and begin compos- 81 ing a foiinal composition. That is not a letter. That is not the way you talk. Letter writing is conversa- tion on paper to one who is absent. Be simple and un- affected. Imagine that the person to whom you are writing is sitting before you. Even put your pet ex- pressions in your letter; then it will sound like you. This, of course, does not mean that you ai’e to be indiscreet or careless in your writing. The spoken word is easily forgotten, but the written word is more permanent. Never make a statement in writing that you would not like published under your name. MUST LETTERS. There are certain types of cor- respondence that are required among cultured people. These include: Thank you let- ters for gifts received, for favors granted, for apprecia- tion of sympathy expressed. Bread-and-butter letters for hospitality that has been re- ceived. Acceptance or regret letters that allow no procras- tination, for the convenience of the host. Congratulation letters at time of weddings, births, successes, promotions, championships, anniver- saries. Introductory letters from one acquaintance to another. Letters to the sick. Letters to service men. Letters to parents, weekly, when you are away from home. Letters to elders who have been good to you — teachers, confessors, coaches. Besides these social requirements, there are busi- ness “musts”: replies to questions asked; gratitude for 82 help given; acknowledgment of gratuitous goods re- ceived; reservations and appointments; notation of business begun or bills paid; adjustments to satisfy complaints. APPEARANCE. Use good quality stationery for your correspondence. White is preferable. Should you desire individuality, don’t resort to gaudily colored, freakish paper. Rather have your monogram or ad- dress on the first page. Keep straight, clean-cut mar- gins on both sides of the paper and one inch from the bottom. Friendly letters are written in one’s own hand. If lengthy, however, typewritten friendly let- ters have become acceptable. In either case, be sure the letter has an attractive legible appearance. Never omit the heading. Do not use abbreviations. Write out the lesser numerals—as, two, nine, ten—in the body of the letter. LETTER PROPER. Informal salutation to a friend: Dear Robert, Dearest Mary. Formal salutation to an acquaintance : My dear Mr. Smith. Business form for inside address and salutation: Crown Canning Company 372 Madison Street Chicago, Illinois ’ Informal close: Lovingly yours. Devotedly yours. Af- fectionately yours. Formal close: Sincerely yours. Yours with best wishes. Business close: Yours truly. Sincerely yours. Very truly yours. For a high digni- tary or religious: Respectfully yours, BUSINESS LETTERS. You write a business letter for a purpose. A business letter must always be neatly 83 and carefully prepared. Be brief, to the point, and definite. If you are seeking information that will benefit you, enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope or clip a loose stamp to the letter. Never sign a letter with Mr., Mrs., or Miss. A married woman indicates her position in this way: Very truly yours, Mary Jones Smith (Mrs. Robert Smith) Do not use hackneyed expressions; as “Thanking you in advance,” “Hoping to be favored with a prompt reply, I am ...” Be direct. “I hope I shall hear from you soon.” In sending order letters, quote the catalog and num- ber, as well as the description of the article wanted. State whether you are enclosing a remittance or want the goods sent “collect.” Note that in orders, “Please send me” is preferable to the outmoded “Kindly send me.” Two extremes to be avoided in letters of application are the cocksure, know-it-all type and the timid apolo- getic type. Be confident, natural, and sincere. Avoid trite expressions and show that you can think for your- self. A letter reeking with mistakes in English and spelling and worn-out expressions suggests a careless worker. In your letters, indicate your eagerness to be of use. It is well to give references ; but secure the permission of the person whose name is being given for reference. Specify in your last paragraph that you can come for 84 an interview at any time. Give both your address and telephone number. Letter Forms CARDINAL Address on envelope: His Eminence William Cardinal O’Connell Salutation: Your Eminence: Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to be with profound respect Your Eminence’s most humble servant, ARCHBISHOP Address on envelope: The Most Reverend Samuel A. Stritch, D.D. Salutation; Your Excellency : Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to be with profound respect Your Excellency’s most obedi- ent servant, BISHOP Address on envelope: The Most Reverend Alex- ander J. McGavick, D.D. Salutation; Your Excellency: Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to be Your Excellency’s humble servant, ABBOT •Address on envelope: The Right Reverend Dom Alcuin Deutsch, O.S.B. Salutation : Father Abbot or My Lord : Conclusion of letter : I am. Right Reverend Abbot, Your devoted servant. 85 MONSIGNOR Address on envelope: The Rt. Rev. Msgr. Peter Pape Salutation: Right Reverend and dear Monsignor: Conclusion of letter: I am, Right Reverend Mon- signor, Sincerely yours, RELIGIOUS-ORDER PRIEST Address on envelope: The Rev. Eugene N. Mc- Guigan, C.S.Sp. Salutation: Dear Reverend Father: Conclusion of letter: I am, Reverend Father, Benedictine and Cistercian Monks and Canons Regular are called “Father,” but addressed as “Dom,” thus: The Reverend Dom Joseph Kreut- er, O.S.B. SECULAR PRIEST Address on envelope: The Rev. Leroy Keegan Salutation: Dear Reverend Father: Reverend and dear Father: Conclusion of letter: Respectfully yours, BROTHER Adress on envelope : Brother Francis Greimer, S.M. Salutation: Dear Brother Francis: Conclusion of letter: Respectfully yours, SUPERIOR OF AN ORDER OF SISTERS Address on envelope: Mother M. Gertrude Salutation: Dear Mother Superior: Conclusion of letter: Respectfully yours, SISTER Addi’ess on envelope: Sister Mary Agnes Salutation: Dear Sister Mary Agnes: Conclusion of letter: Respectfully yours. THE PRESIDENT Address on envelope: The President, Washing- ton, D. C. Salutation: Mr. President: or. Sir: Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to remain. Most respectfully yours, THE VICE-PRESIDENT Address on envelope: The Vice-President, Wash- ington, D. C. Salutation: Mr. Vice-Presdent : or. Sir: or. My dear Mr. Vice-President: Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to remain Most respectfully yours, GOVERNOR Address on envelope: His Excellency, the Gover- nor, Madison, Wisconsin, or. The Honorable Walter S. Goodland, Governor of Wisconsin Salutation: Sir: or. Dear Sir: Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to remain Yours faithfully, U. S. (or State) SENATOR Address on envelope: The Honorable Robert M. LaFollette, Senator from Wisconsin, Washing- ton, D. C. Salutation: Sir: or. My dear Sir: Conclusion of letter: I have the honor to remain Your very truly, CONGRESSMAN (also Member of a State Legislature) Address on envelope: The Honorable William H. Stevenson, House of Representatives, Washing- ton, D. C. Salutation: Sir: or. My dear Sir: Conclusion of letter: Believe me. Yours very truly. 87 MAYOR Address on envelope: His Honor, the Mayor, City Hall, La Crosse, Wisconsin Salutation: Sir: or. Dear Sir: Conclusion of letter: Believe me. Very truly yours, GENERAL in Military Service Address on envelope : General D. H. MacArthur Salutation: Sir: My dear Sir: Dear Sir: My dear General MacArthur : Conclusion of letter: Yours sincerely, ADMIRAL in Naval Service Address on envelope: Admiral William D. Leahy Salutation: Sir: My dear Sir: Dear Sir: My dear Admiral Leahy: Conclusion of letter: Yours sincerely. In official correspondence between officers of the service, the ordinary ceremonial beginnings and end- ings are omitted, and a purely military or naval form is substituted. . J A wife never shares her husband’s official titles. The wife of every American is Mrs.—“The President and Mrs. Roosevelt.’’ “Doctor and Mrs. Smith.’’ Interviews WHEN POSSIBLE, REQUEST AN APPOINT- MENT FOR AN INTERVIEW. It is better to include a letter of recommendation with your written applica- tion rather than present it in a personal call. Caution should be observed in asking for letters of recommenda- tion. You may speak with your teacher, principal, or fonner employers about your intention of applying for 88 certain work. If they wish to commit themselves, they will offer to recommend you. WHEN YOU CALL ON YOUR PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYER, be sure that your clothes are clean, neat, and well pressed. Do not - appear cheap by gaudy dressing, or slovenly by careless dressing, but have the businesslike appearance of being carefully and choicely groomed. A GENTLEMAN REMOVES HIS HAT AS HE EN- TERS THE OFFICE. Be sure that you are not loaded with bundles or even have a newspaper in your hand. Stand until your employer recognizes you and indi- cates that you are to be seated. Let the employer lead in the conversation, lest you talk yourself out of a position. Answer his questions trathfully. Have the self-confidence that comes from the recognition of your ability. Then you will not fail because of overconfidence or of apologetic inferiority. Be calm and natural and careful not to drag out the interview. You, rather than the employer, should rise for dis- missal. Thank him for the time he has given for the interview, and be as pleasant as you were when you arrived, even if you did not get the position. Repeat your gratitude in a brief note the day after the interview. State again your qualifications and the reasons you have for believing you should be selected for the position. Public Meetings LEADING THE MEETING. If you are an officer, study human nature so that you will be able to get all 89 members to participate beneficially without inflicting pain on anj^one. When conducting a meeting, start promptly, no mat- ter how few are present. If you plan your meeting beforehand and follow parliamentary law, you will avoid unintelligent thinking and slipshod methods. Unless the constitution of your organization specifies otherwise, follow the accepted order of business given by Roberts : 1. Call to order. 2. Reading of minutes and their approval. 3. Reports. 4. Unfinished business. 5. New business. 6. Adjournment. If a program is presented, it follows the business meeting. In small groups, a roll call of members is often included after the call to order. Speak clearly and distinctly so the members will have no difficulty in understanding you. See that the speakers chosen and the projects pro- posed are in accord with the needs of the organization. In discussions, be guided by the fundamental prin- ciples of parliamentary law—justice and charity. Be careful to observe the eight definite steps for procedure in handling a motion: 1. Member rises and addresses chair. 2. Chair recognizes member by saying his name or nodding. 3. Member states his motion. 90 4. Chairman asks for second if one is not offered voluntarily. 5. Chairman states motion. 6. Chairman asks for discussion if it is a debat- able motion. 7. When discussion ceases, chairman restates mo- tion and asks for vote. 8. Chairman asks for result of vote and declares that the motion has passed or failed. ATTENDING THE MEETING. Do not disturb others by coming late. Be in your place when the meeting begins. Pay courteous attention to the chairman. Never show you are bored during the meeting. Avoid com- menting in whispers to your neighbor, chewing gum, or disturbing others in any way. Before you rise to discuss a question or make a mo- tion, use the following mental check: Are my remarks in order? Have they already been stated? Is the proposition worth stating? When you stand for discussion, speak loud enough for all to hear. If you are not the main speaker, say what you have to say briefly. Do not be selfish when casting your vote. Think first of the organization, not of your personal advantage. If you have something worth-while to say, stand up and say it. Don’t join the poor member group who say nothing at a meeting but become voluble after- wards. You will benefit from an organization in the measure of your participation in its activities. 91 MISCELLANEOUS GOOD MANNERS MAINTAIN THE GREAT- EST RESPECT AND LOVE FOR YOUR COUNTRY. When the national anthem is played or when the flag passes by, stand at atten- tion. A man in military uniform gives the salute; a man in civilian clothes re- moves his hat with his right hand, which he holds over his heart. A hatless man and a woman place the right hand over the heart, or just stand erect with arms straight at the side. When the flag is carried in procession with other flags, it should be on the marching right (the flag’s own right) or in the front of center. When the flag is hung against a wall, it should be flat with the union uppermost and to the flag’s own right (the left of the spectator) . The national flag is never lowered or dipped as a salute. The flag should not be used for advertising or as part of a costume. It should never be draped over automobiles, tables, and chairs, or festooned or gathered into a rosette. 92 A GENTLEMAN TIPS HIS HAT WHEN: 1. He passes a church. 2. He meets a priest or a religious. 3. A gentleman with him speaks to a woman acquaintance. 4. A lady with him speaks to an acquaintance. 5. He speaks to a lady, even if she is a stranger asking for directions. 6. He meets a lady and when they part. 7. He has an occasion to speak to a lady, if it be nothing more than “Madam, is this your pack- age?” Also, when she thanks him for having recovered her package. HE REMOVES HIS HAT WHEN: 1. He enters a church. 2. He enters his own home or another’s^ 3. He speaks to his mother or any lady. 4. He enters a room where women are (excluding office buildings, stores, depots). 93 5. He enters an elevator in a hotel, club, or apart- ment house. Elevators in office buildings and stores are regarded as a continuation of halls, and hats may be kept on. Calls and Calling Cards CALLING CARDS ARE USUALLY ENGRAVED. Having one’s address on them is optional. A man’s title may be abbreviated, but his name is spelled out in full. A young lady’s name is spelled out in full. Young ladies of sixteen may begin to use the title “Miss” on their cards. General card-leaving is going out of fashion. It is still correct, however, to leave cards before asking a stranger to accept your hospitality. A man should leave his card after being entertained or invited to a dinner dance, or any social function by a lady. Usually one leaves one’s card after a first call and within a few days after a first invitation, whether accepted or not. Send cards with wedding presents, flowers for a funeral, or with flowers for a debutante. A card may also be sent to notify a change of address. Sending your card with flowers to a sick friend is laudable. The kind of call determines its length. Fifteen to twenty minutes is proper for a formal call. “At home” calls may last from thirty minutes to one hour. Inform- al calls may extend from ten minutes to two hours, depending on company and circumstances. The time to call should be considered. Between three and five in the afternoon is proper. Formal calls 94 may be made between three-thirty and four-thirty. Men and business women may call on Sundays or after the dinner hour in the evening. A visit of condolence should be paid at once to a friend after a death in the immediate family. A lady writes a note of sympathy to a gentleman instead of making a call. A visit of congratulations is paid to a new mother, and a gift is presented to the baby. If a relative announces his engagement, you must go to see his fiancee. To visit the sick is more than just good manners ; it is one of the works of mercy. Do not prolong your visit to a sickroom. Observe the “No visitors” sign if there is one. It is a direct slight not to return a first call within ten days. , RESPECT PUBLIC PROPERTY. Writing on the walls of public buildings, marring pictures and statues, picking flowers in parks, are violations of this respect. A GIFT IS A TOKEN OF ESTEEM. You can ex- press this on paper if you are unable to do so with an object. Gentlemen should not give lady friends per- sonal gifts unless they are engaged. Flowers and candy are appropriate. Do not give gifts more expen- sive than you can afford. Ladies should never give presents to men to encourage this attention. A box of her homemade candy or some article which fits in with her friend’s hobby or special interest is proper. 95 GOOD MORALS AND GOOD MANNERS GOOD MORALS ARE ALWAYS GOOD MANNERS ; bad morals can never be good manners. Christ and His Blessed Mother had perfect manners. They are your models; imitate them and you will be refined and good. Always remember that you are a child of God and an heir of heaven ; that you were made by God to know Him, love Him, and serve Him in this life, and by this means to save your soul. BEWARE OF BAD COMPANIONS; THEY WILL RUIN YOU. In speaking of evil associates, Christ Himself said through His apostle St. Paul : “Evil com- panionships corrupt good morals” (1 Cor. 15, 33). Your companions are of the wrong kind if you are less good because of your association with them. General Robert E. Lee was known to all for his good) manners. May you always remem'ber the advice which he gave to his son: “Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or keep one.” SIN IS AN ACT OF DISLOYALTY TO CHRIST, an act of surrender to His enemy, the devil. Always be loyal to our Lord and to His service. There is some- 96 thing very attractive about virtue. There never was, and there never will be, a substitute for goodness ; you must have the real article. BE PURE IN THOUGHT, WORD, AND DEED if you would be a lady or a gentleman after the heart of Christ. The clean of heart are dear to God. Of them He said: “Oh, how beautiful is the chaste generation with gloiy. For the memory thereof is immortal, be- cause it is known both with God and men. ... It tri- umpheth crowned forever, winning the reward of un- defiled conflicts” (Wisdom 4, 1-2). KEEP YOUR MIND CLEAN, and your words and deeds will be pure. Improper magazines, pictures, and shows have ruined the souls of many through the im- pure thoughts they have caused. At times improper thoughts will come to your mind against your will. Never entertain them or dwell upon them, but say a short prayer and turn your thoughts to other things; keep yourself busy with work and wholesome play. God condemns impurity of thought : “Evil thoughts are an abomination to the Lord” (Proverbs 11, 26). NEVER SAY A WORD OR TELL A STORY that will stain your soul or the souls of your companions. There is nothing manly about a dirty story or sugges- tive remark ; on the contrary, improper conversation marks a person as improper company for any decent Catholic. Listen to these words: “Pure words, most beautiful, shall be confirmed by Him” (Proverbs 15, 26) . “He that loveth cleanness of heart, for the grace of his lips shall have the king for his friend” (Pro- verbs 22, 11). 97 NOTHING MORE BECOMES A CHRISTLIKE PER- SONAUTY THAN PURITY OF ACTION. At all times and in all places, whether alone or with others, be clean and chaste. Gentlemen should remember that ladies in their company are to be protected. Never by the slightest word, suggestion, or action make them less modest or less good. May you always prove true to the ideals that you have been taught bj’’ your Alma Mater; may you always be a “knight without reproach,” and a lady without stain. You are a child of Mary. Through frequent prayer to her, and through frequent reception of Him in the Blessed Sacrament, and through your co-operation with grace, you will always be a worthy member of Christ’s Mystical Body. The Church will be proud of you; Mary will bless you; Christ will reward you, for He said: “Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 1, 8). Brave and chivalrous like the knight. Sir Gareth, in Tennyson’s Idylls of the King, may you live and die with his ideals: Man am I grown, a man’s work must I do; Follow the deer? Follow Christ the King; live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King — Else, wherefore born? Pray that Christ the Gentleman and Mary the Lady, through Christ, will give you strength to be gentle, courage to be kind, and thouhtfulness to express Chris- tian charity in terms of good mannei's. 98 BIBLIOGRAPHY Allen, Betty and Briggs, Michell Pirie. Behave Your- self! Philadelphia; J. B. Lippincott Company, 1937. Bailey, Beth. Meal Planning and Table Service. Peoria : The Manual Arts Press, 1938. Bliss, Walton B. Personality and School. Chicago: Allyn and Bacon, 1938. Bowdern, William S., S.J. Good Manners. Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin: Campion. Boykin, Eleanor. This Way Please. New York: Mac- millan, 1940. Faculty of the South Philadelphia High School for Girls. Everyday Manners for American Boys and Girls. New York; Macmillan, 1934. Gardner, Horace J., and Farren, Patricia. Courtesy Book. Philadelphia: J. B. Lippincott Company, 1937. Goodrich, Lawrence B. Living with Others. Chicago : American Book Company, 1939. Greer, Carlotta C. Your Home and You. Chicago: Allyn and Bacon, 1942. Lansing, Florence. The Builder. Chicago : Bruce Pub- lishing Company, 1936. Lord, Daniel A., S.J. Pardon My Manners. St. Louis : The Queen’s Work, 1935. Lord, Daniel A., S.J. Youth Says: These Are Good Manners. St .Louis: The Queen’s Work, 1939. 99 McLean, Beth Bailey. Good Manners. Peoria: The Manual Arts Press, 1934. National Catholic Almanac. Paterson, New Jersey: St. Anthony’s Guild, 1943. Post, Emily. Etiquette. New York: Funk & Wagnalls Company, 1942. Rooney, Richard L., S.J. Christ, You and Routine. St. Louis: The Queen’s Work, 1941. Rooney, Richard L., S.J. Courtesy in Christ: St. Louis: The Queen’s Work, 1941. Sister James Stanislaus. Manner and Good Manners. Chicago: Benziger Brothers, 1929. Sister Mary St. Remi, B.V.M. A Study Club Outline on the Development of Charm and Personality. Ypsilanti: University Lithoprinters, 1942. Sister Mary Virgina, B.V.M. Enriching Your Life. Chicago: Follett Publishing Company, 1936. Wilson, Margery. The Woman You Want to Be. Phila- delphia: J. B. Lippincott Company, 1942. 100 INDEX Anniversaries, 15 Appearance, 9, 36, 44, 47 Artichokes, 30 Bathroom, 14 Belloc, 63 Booing, 61 Books, 73 Bread, 27 Buses, 65 Business letters, 83 Butter, 27 Calls, 94-96 Cards, calling, 94-96 Celery, 27 Chaperons, 54 "Cheapness," 58 Cheese, 28 Church, good manners in, 9-12 Cleanliness, 45 Cocktail, 25 Coffee, 31 Confession, 12 Contacts, 77-91 Correspondence, 81-88 Country, respect for, 92 Dances, 51-56 Dating, 56-59 DaVinci, 44 Dessert, 26 Dinner, 20 Formal, 20 At home, 21 Dress, 44-48 Appropriateness in, 44 Business, 47 Evening, 47 School, 46 Simplicity in, 45 Style and color, 45 Driving, 58 Eating, 55, 65, 66, 71 Fingerbowl, 32 Fish, 28 Flag, 92 Fork, 22 Fowl, 28 Franklin, Benjamin, on games, 60 Fruit, 30 Pits and seeds, 29 Games, 60-62 Gifts, 95 Gloves, 46 Grace at meals 21 Gratitude, 55, 63, 69, 71, 89 Hall, Florence, on conversation, 52 Hats, 46 When to tip, 92 When to remove, 93 Holy Communion, 11 Holy Mass, 10 Home, good manners in, 13-18 Honesty, 42 Interviews, 88 Introductions, 77-80 101 Knife, 22 Leadership, 42 Letter forms, 85-89 Letter writing, 81-89 Application, 84 Business, 83 Lettuce, 30 Library, 73-76 Lobster, 29 Loyalty, 14-38-41 Mass, Holy, 10 Meats, 28 Modesty, 56 Morals, good, 96-98 Morning prayer, 13 Napkin, 21 "Necking and petting," 59 Newman, Cardinal, 10, 52 Occupation, choice of, 40 Olives, 27 Parliamentary procedure, 90 Parties, 51-56 Passing, food, 24 Pits and seeds, 29 Potatoes, 29 Prayer, 10, 13 Public meetings, 90-91 Public places, good manners in, 63-76 Punctuality, 10, 19, 37, 41, 50 Purity, 96-98 Radio, 17 Radishes, 27 Recreation, good manners at, 49-62 Driving, 59 Games, 60-62 Parties and dances, 51 Theater, 49 Restaurant, 70-73 Saint Paul, on dress, 48 Salutation, correct, 85-88 Salute, flag, 92 School, good manners at, 36-39 Seating, 15, 20, 49, 70 Self-restrait, 51, 62 Servants, consideration for 18 Shakespeare, on voice, 52 Shopping, 69 Sign of the Cross, 9 Smoking, 65, 69, 72 Soup, 25 Spoon, 22 Street, 67-69 Street cars, 65-66 Table manners, 19-35 At home, 21-32 Miscelaneous, 32-35 In restaurant, 70 Teachers, 39 Telephone, 17-80 Tennyson, Alfred, on following Christ, 98 Theater, 49-51 Tips, 65 Train, 64 Unselfishness, 13, 63, 66, 69, 75 Voice, 49, 64, 67, 80 Work, good manners at, 40-43 SPICER a BUSCHMAN, INC. PRINTERS LA CROSSE, WIS. 102 Price 50c Order copies from Publications Department St. Rose Convent La Crosse, Wisconsin