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MY WEDDING DAY





MY WEDDING DAY

By

LOUIS LaRAVOIRE MORROW
Bishop of Krishnagar

"For this cause a man shall leave his father and
mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall

become one flesh. Therefore now they are no
longer two, but one flesh."

{Mark 10:7-8)

MY MISSION HOUSE
1324 Fifty-second Street

Kenosha, Wisconsin



ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

The author wishes to make grateful acknowledgements
to Right Reverend Monsignor Edward G. Murray, D.D.,
Rector of St. John's Seminary, Brighton, Massachusetts,

for kindly and painstakingly reviewing this pamphlet.

In festivitate Sanctae Familiae Jesu, Mariae, Joseph,

die X Januarii 1949

Copyright, 1949

by

LOUIS LaRAVOIRE MORROW

International Copyright under

International Copyright Union.

All rights reserved under Pan-

American Copyright Convention.

Printed in the United States of America-



FOREWORD

The purpose of this booklet is to help Catholics realize
the beauty and significance of the ceremonies connected
with the sacrament of matrimony, so that those who
receive the sacrament may have a deeper knowledge of
its meaning, “in Christ and the Church."

May those who use this pamphlet realize the meaning
and duties of marriage, and blessed by God, fulfill His
purposes for the sacrament, to the end of their days.
It is indeed most sad that in our country broken mar-
riages are becoming more and more common

;
this is due

to unions without the blessings of God. Divorce; which
in 1900 broke 8% of the marriages in the United States,
has crept on and on steadily to undermine family life,
and now threatens more than 20%. At least one out of
every five marriages ends in divorce.

This booklet is divided into three parts: the first part

is an instruction on marriage; the second part consists
of the rite for the administration of the sacrament of
matrimony; and the third part is composed of the
Nuptial Mass and Benediction. The appendix contains
useful suggestions for the wedding march, the complete
ritual for the silver or golden wedding anniversary,
form to be used for mixed marriages and relative prom-
ises, questionnaire for the canonical examination, and
souvenir and certificate of marriage. With this booklet,
those contemplating marriage will have a helpful and
handy manual-and-devotion book to use, not only be-
fore, but on the very day of their wedding, and later,
for their wedding anniversaries.

•b Bishop Morrow

Feast of the Espousals of Mary and Joseph,
January 23, 1949.



CONTENTS

Part I. Instruction on Marriage Page

Courtship 1

Engagement 3

Church laws on marriage 4

Civil and non-Catholic marriage 6

The banns of matrimony 7

The state of grace 9

Marriage with a non-Catholic 9

Marriage with bad Catholics and public sinners . 14

Marriage between close relatives 16

Marriage in the Eastern Rites 16

Forbidden times 17

Impediments 18

Dispensations 21

Canonical Examination . . . . . .21

The marriage ceremony 25

Offerings 28

Christian Marriage 29

Divorce 30

Annulment; separation 31

iv



Mutual duties of the married 32

Matrimony and Birth Control; abortion 33

Duties of the Married as Parents 36

Part II. Ritual for the Celebration of

Matrimony 38

Instruction before marriage 38

The form of marriage 41

Blessing of the ring (or rings) 43

Part III. Ritual for the Nuptial Mass 47

A bridegroom’s prayer 70

A bride’s prayer 71

Appendix.

The Wedding March and Recession 72

Blessing for the silver or the golden wedding
anniversary 74

Hymn of Thanksgiving 77

Form to be used for mixed marriages 82

Form of promises for the non-Catholic 85

Form of promises for the Catholic 85

Questionnaire for the Canonical Examination ... 86
$

Souvenir of our Wedding Day 96

Certificate of Marriage 98

v



The Espousals of Joseph and Mary



MY WEDDING DAY
PART I

INSTRUCTION ON MATRIMONY

What is Matrimony?

Matrimony is the sacrament that unites a Christian
man and woman in lawful marriage. God instituted
matrimony in the Garden of Eden, when He created
Adam and Eve. He said: “Wherefore a man shall leave
father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they

shall be two in one flesh’ ’ (Gen. 2:24). Before the com-

ing of Christ, matrimony was a sacred contract , but not

a sacrament. Our Lord raised matrimony to the dignity
of a sacrament. In doing this, God has made a natural
relation a means of grace for Christians.

Courtship

What is the purpose of courtship?

Courtship is a time of preparation for marriage, the

time of choosing a life partner. It requires prudence

and wisdom.

Boys and girls should not indulge in courtship, but
devote their time to their studies and to things proper

to their age. It is only when young people have reached
the proper age and are so situated as to be able to bear

the responsibilities of the married state that courtship

should engage their attention.

Then the young man and the young woman may seek
each other’s company, in order to find out whether,

after knowing each other’s character, they would like

to take each other as companions for life.

Courtship should be conducted without secrecy. A
secret courtship is open to suspicion. And young
women should beware of the young man who strives to
keep the courtship a secret.

l



2 My Wedding Day

It is perfectly proper for a young man to pay his
attentions to several young women at the same time,
and for a young woman to receive such attentions from
several young men at the same time. This is precisely
because courtship is the time for choosing, to determine
which person will make the most suitable companion
for life.

What should guide the choice during courtship?

One should make sure that the person chosen is a
practical Catholic, and possesses the character heeded
to make a good companion and helper in life. The
person chosen should have the mental and spiritual
qualifications necessary for permanent partnership, and
a disposition in harmony with the prospective partner's.

If young people will remember that marriage is for
life

t
they will exercise greater prudence in courtship.

With that prudence, by the grace of God, a man can
surely find a partner of whom it can be said: “She is a
help like to himself, and a pillar of rest” (Ecclus. 36:26).

It is wrong and foolish to look for beauty, riches, or
honors alone, for these pass away quickly, and may be
lost on the wedding day itself. One should chiefly seek
a beautiful soul, for such a soul is pleasing to God and
will be faithful to the responsibilities of married life;
character grounded on religion does not pass away.

How long should courtship last?

The length of the period of courtship should be be-
tween six months and two years, no longer. A shorter
period would be “rushing,” and under ordinary circum-
stances would not give the parties enough time to know
each other,. A longer period would be wasteful of time
and money, and might lead to serious temptations. ' If
after two years a young man or a young woman still
cannot docide, the safest course to follow is to break
off the courtship.



Matrimony—Instruction 3

Engagement

What is engagement?

Engagement is a mutual promise of marriage. It
implies marriage at an early date. It presupposes an
understanding of the duties of the married state, and
sufficient means to support it.

Young people should not be in too great a hurry to
get married. “Marry in haste, and repent at leisure.”
Before deciding to become engaged, they should consult
their parents, and be guided by their advice.

The engagement may be entered into by a contract
in writing signed by both parties, with either the parish
priest or the bishop, or by two others, as witnesses.
Such a formal engagement has the security of a civil
contract. Although there is no necessity for this for-

mality before marriage, it may be desirable, especially
in cases where hasty alliances are feared.

How long should the time of engagement last?

It should not last longer than a few months. As soon
as the promise to marry each other is made, a definite
date should be decided upon for the marriage. The
engagement is only preparatory to marriage, to give
time for the necessary arrangements.

During both the courtship and the engagement, no
undue familiarities should be permitted; respect for
each other’s virtue before the marriage is a pledge of a
happy and chaste married life.

Those who are engaged should frankly reveal to each
other, before the intended marriage takes place, their
financial status, social relations, and matters pertaining
to health. Thus they prevent future misunderstand-
ings, quarrels and misery.



4 My Wedding Day

During the interval between the engagement and the
marriage, the couple should consider seriously the step

they are about to take, and make a good preparation
for their wedded life, frequently imploring God’s
blessing.

As the engagement should not be hastily entered
into, so it should not be rashly broken. Still, if after

the engagement either party becomes seriously con-
vinced that the marriage would be a mistake, it should
be broken off. Human respect or other similar consid-
erations should not be allowed to jeopardize future

happiness.

Church Laws on Marriage

Has the Catholic Church authority to make laws
on marriage?

The Catholic Church received authority from Jesus
Christ its Founder to regulate and administer the
sacraments, of which matrimony is one.

The chief laws of the Church on marriage are:

l The marriage ceremony must take place in the
presence of an authorized Catholic priest and two wit-
nesses, after three publications of the banns.

2. The contracting parties must be in the state of
grace.

3 Catholics may not marry non-Catholics.

4 No marriage may take place between very near
relatives; in the United States, second cousins or those
more closely related may not marry.

5 No solemnity may accompany the celebration of
marriage held during the penitential seasons of Advent
and Lent.



( See pages 21 -23 and 86-9o)

The Canonical Examination



6 My Wedding Day

-

Civil .and Non-Catholic Marriage

In whose presence do the laws of the Church
require a Catholic to be married?

The laws of the Church require a Catholic to be
married in the presence of the parish priest, or of the
bishop of the diocese, or a priest delegated by either
of them, and before two witnesses.

The only exceptions are (a) in ca.se of danger of death,
should it not be possible to get a priest, marriage can
be contracted by Catholics before two witnesses; and
(b) even when there is no danger of death, the same
may be done if it is certain that no priest can be had
within a month. In these cases however the contract
should be put in writing, signed, and given the priest
or bishop when he comes.

May Catholics marry before a civil official?

Catholics who go through the form of marriage be-
fore a civil official, such as a judge, a justice of the peace,
a squire, or any clerk of court, are not married. They
have merely made a civil contract which before God is
not only invalid but sinful. Therefore, if they live to-
gether as man and wife, they are living in sin against
the Sixth and Ninth Commandments. Their legal
contract may save them from jail, but it will not save
them from hell.

Even if Catholics go through the form of a civil
marriage with the intention of not living together before
they have been properly married in Church, they
nevertheless commit a grave sin. If there is any need
of some binding contract before the actual marriage
ceremony, the thing to do is not to go to the justice' of
the peace, but to sign a formal engagement before a
priest or bishop or two witnesses. Such an engagement
has the force of a civil contract. But on no account



Matrimony—Instruction 7

may even such a formal engagement sanctioned by the
Church be regarded as equivalent to marriage.

Catholics should, however, obey the state laws on
marriage, such as those having to do with licenses,
blood tests, registration, etc., as long as these laws do
not contradict the laws of God and His Church.

May Catholics marry before a non-Catholic
minister

?

If Catholics attempt to marry before a non-Catholic
minister, they not only commit sin, but they are ex-
communicated from the Church for recognizing a false
religion. They are not married and are excluded from
the sacraments, may not be godparents for baptism
and confirmation, and may not receive Christian burial.
Their excommunication lasts until they are absolved
from censure by authority of the bishop. Then they
should go to confession and get properly married before
a Catholic priest, if they are to live as husband and wife.

The Banns of Matrimony

What are the banns?

Banns are a public proclamation of an intended
marriage, made at the principal Mass on three success-
ive Sundays or holy days, in the church or churches
to which the bride and groom belong. If either party
after reaching marriageable age, has lived for six or
more months away from the community in which the
marriage is to be celebrated, the bishop may require
the publication of the banns also in the other place or
places.

The purpose of the banns is to ascertain whether any
impediment to the lawful union exists. Anyone knowing
of any impediment is obliged in conscience to make it
known to the priest; otherwise he is guilty of sin.

The banns must be published before the marriage;
and this takes two full weeks. They are published for



( See pages 16 and 88, 90, 93, 95)

Table of Relationships



Matrimony—Instruction 9

the benefit and protection of the contracting parties,
not to shame them.

The State of Grace

Should the parties to a marriage be in the state
of grace?

The parties to a marriage should be in the state of
grace; that is, they should be free from mortal sin.

Since matrimony is a sacrament of the living, it would
be a sacrilege for them to marry while in the state of
mortal sin. They should therefore make a good con-
fession— It is recommended, on account of the impor-
tance of the occasion, that they make a general con-
fession—the day before their marriage. Moreover, they
should receive Holy Communion during the Nuptial
Mass, to implore God’s blessing on their union.

Those who have not yet received the sacrament of
confirmation should do so, if it is at all possible, before
the marriage ceremony.

Marriage with a non-Catholic

What is a mixed marriage?

A mixed marriage is one contracted between a
Catholic and a non-Catholic, whether baptized or not.
The Church strongly disapproves the marriage of
Catholics with non-Catholics, because its long experi-
ence has shown that such unions are rarely happy, and
because of the danger that the offspring of such unions
may grow up without proper religious instruction and
lose their faith.

How can there be perfect accord in a family where
one is a Catholic and the other is a non-Catholic? The
Catholic has strict duties which he is bound to perform.
He must go to Mass on Sundays and holydays; while



The State of Grace
(See page 9)

Matrimony should be prepared for by a very good
Confession.



Matrimony—Instruction 11

the non-Catholic may go to his own church and want
the children to go along or may conceivably lie abed,
with evident amusement at the Catholic’s beliefs. The
Catholic must fast and abstain on certain days, while
the non-Catholic may possibly say, “Why not just
prepare meat for all and be done with it?” The Catholic
must go to confession and Holy Communion, while the
non-Catholic may think such practices “slavery” if not
“idiocy.” The non-Catholic may believe the veneration
of saints to be idolatry. His church may permit him
divorce; and it is not impossible to have him divorce
his Catholic wife and marry another, while the Catholic
must consider herself married to him while he still lives.

In addition, what kind of a home life would such a
union between a Catholic and a non-Catholic offer their
children? Would children be likely to think religion of
any importance when even their parents are not in
agreement on one? Frequently, to avoid disputes and
heartaches, neither parent speaks of religion at all;

religious practices become taboo, and the family ends
by having no religion whatsoever.

To show her disapproval of mixed marriages, the
Church has strict laws regulating them. Canon 1064
provides: The bishops and other pastors of souls shall:

1. Deter the faithful from contracting mixed marriages as
much as they can;

2. If they cannot prevent them, they shall take the greatest
possible care that such marriages are celebrated according to the
laws of God and the Church;

3. After such a marriage has been contracted, either in their
own territory or outside of it, they shall watch over the faithful
fulfillment of the promises made;



The Wedding Party

(See page 25)

Ladies and girls in the wedding party should he modestly
dressed. All those in the church should keep due silence
and reverence.



Matrimony—Instruction 13

4- In assisting at such marriages they shall follow the regula-

tions governing other marriages, but shall not publish the banns.

All sacred rites are prohibited. If, however, greater evils should

be foreseen from this prohibition, the bishop or vicar general
may permit one or the other of the usual ecclesiastical' ceremonies,
always exclusive of the Nuptial Mass.

What does the Church require when it does grant
permission for a Catholic to marry a non-
Catholic

?

The Church first requires (Canon 1061) the non-
Catholic party to sign a formal written promise:

1) not to endanger the faith of the Catholic party;

2) to have all the children of the union brought up

in the Catholic faith, even in the case of the death of

the Catholic party. (See page 85 for the formula to he

signed by the non- Catholic party.)

Moreover, the Catholic is bound prudently to pro-
cure the conversion of the non-Catholic party (Canon

1062). When permission fora mixed marriage is granted,
the marriage can be contracted only before a Catholic

priest and two witnesses (Canon 1063).

Unless there is a special dispensation from the bishop

for serious reasons, a mixed marriage is not celebrated

in the church, but in the parish house or in some other

decent place approved by the bishop. 'The priest is

forbidden to say the Nuptial Mass, or to use any vest-

ments or blessings whatsoever—not even the ring is
blessed (Canon 1102). What a contrast to the beautiful
ceremonies of a blessed Catholic marriage! (See page 82

for the formula to he used in assisting at mixed marriages.)



14 My Wedding Day

Marriage with Bad Catholics and Public Sinners

Who are considered bad Catholics and public
sinners?

Bad Catholics and public sinners are those persons
who, although baptized in the Catholic Church and not
formally affiliated to any other, nevertheless do not
practice their religion, and persistently disobey the
Church in a public manner.

As examples, we may cite Catholics who are Free-
masons, members of secret societies subversive of re-
ligion and government, supporters of societies forbidden
by the Church, persons living in public concubinage, etc.

What is the attitude of the Church with regard
to the marriage of Catholics with such per-
sons as above described?

The Church disapproves the marriage of Catholics
with indifferentists and public sinners, such as Free-
masons, etc. (Canons 1065 and 1066.) Before such a
marriage can take place, permission must be secured
from the bishop. This permission is not granted unless
there is a certainty that the children will be brought up
in the Catholic faith, and that there is no danger that
the Catholic party will be hindered in the practice of

his or her religion.

The Church shows its disapproval of such marriages
by not permitting the ceremony to take place in the
church, and by forbidding the Nuptial Mass, vest-
ments, blessings, etc., exactly as for a mixed marriage

(see previous section). The formula used for such mar-
riages is the same formula (see page 82) as that used in
assisting at a mixed marriage, unless the bad Catholic
is converted before the marriage.



(See pages 25 and 41-4%)

The Form of Marriage



16 My Wedding Day

Marriage Between Close Relatives

Why does the Church forbid the marriage of
close relatives?

The Church forbids the marriage of close relatives,
such as nieces and nephews, first and second cousins, in
order to enforce the respect due to blood relationship,
and to increase the number of families bound together
in friendship, and thus promote union among men. The
prohibition also tends to prevent the birth of physically
and mentally defective children, often found to be the
result of such marriages.

Marriage in the Eastern Rites

Are Catholics belonging to the Eastern Rites
subject to a special legislation in regard to
marriage?

Yes, they are. Before May 2, 1949, each Eastern
Rite had its own particular legislation sanctioned by
the Holy See, but since this date Catholics belonging
to the various Eastern Rites are subject to the 131
canons or rules given by Pope Pius XII in his “Motu
Proprio” dated February 22nd, 1949.

The principal rulings are:

1 Catholics should be married in the Rite to which
they belong.

2 # When Catholics of different Rites are married, the
marriage ceremony is performed by the pastor of the
man, unless the man, having his residence in an Easter
Rite region, consents that the marriage may be per-
formed with the rite of the bride and by her parish
priest

( Canon 88, §5 of the Discipline on Marriage for
the Oriental Church).

3 The children of parents belonging to different
Rites should be baptized in the Rite of their father and
belong to his Rite.

4 The woman marrying a man of another Rite may



Matrimony—Instruction 17

adopt the Rite of her husband, and after his death
return to her former Rite, if she so wishes.

5. The man, when marrying a woman of another
Rite, and his children, cannot change Rite, unless for a
serious reason and such a change is authorized by the
Holy See.

6. Where there are no parish priests of the Rite to
which a prospective groom or bride live, the local
Catholic parish should be consulted. With proper
authorization he may perform the marriage.

7. Matrimonial impediments of consanguinity and
spiritual relationship in the Eastern Rites are different
from those in the Latin Rite. There are some other
regulations different. The respective parish priests or
bishops should be consulted, and if necessary, apply for
a dispensation.

In the case of a Catholic marrying a member of a
dissident oriental church (a Latin Rite Catholic desiring
to marry a Greek Orthodox not in union with Rome),
this case should be regarded as a Catholic wishing to
marry a baptized non-Catholic. A dispensation for a
mixed marriage should be obtained. If converted, the
party belonging to the “dissident” Rite should join the
Catholic Rite which corresponds to that of the dissi-
dent church in which he was baptized. However, if
the converted party earnestly wishes to adopt a dif-
ferent Rite, he may be permitted to do so at the time
of his conversion into the Church. This change is
marked down in the parish records.

Forbidden Times

What are the forbidden times for marriage
solemnities?

The forbidden times, or “closed seasons” for marriage
solemnities are: (a) from the first Sunday of Advent till
Christmas Day, inclusive; and (b) from Ash Wednesday
to Easter Sunday inclusive. This means that during
those two penitential seasons it is forbidden to have the



18 My Wedding Day

Nuptial Mass and Blessing, without special dispensa-
tion. Even where a dispensation is granted, it is only
under the understanding that no pompous celebrations
and worldly festivities will follow.

It is an error to think that the Church forbids the
contracting of marriage on any day of the year. It
merely forbids ostentation, out of respect for the peni-
tential seasons. Good Catholics avoid marriage during
the closed seasons, from a desire to be united with the
spirit of the Church, and to marry at a time when they
may have a Nuptial Mass with the Nuptial Blessing,
and receive communion.

Impediments

What is meant by impediments to matrimony?

Impediments are obstacles to the validity or lawful-
ness of a marriage. In safeguarding the sacrament of
matrimony, the Church declares that certain circum-
stances tend to lessen, or actually destroy, the sacred
nature of the sacrament. These obstacles are called
“impediments,” obstructing as they do the original
sanctity of the sacrament. The Church has been moved
by various reasons to declare these impediments. In
some cases, the circumstances are incompatible with the
sacrament and contract of matrimony. In other cases,
the general welfare of society, or the protection of the

marriage bond, is the reason.

Thefe are two kinds of impediments to matrimony:
(a) Diriment (also called annulling or nullifying) im-
pediments render an attempted marriage altogether
null and void, invalid. Dispensations are only rarely
granted for diriment impediments. Should an attempt
at marriage be made without dispensation, there is no
marriage. It must be noticed that even when the
impediment exists only on one side, the marriage is
rendered illicit or invalid. Such an invalid marriage
must be either declared null, or the impediment removed
by a dispensation, and the marriage performed validly.



Confirming the Act

(See page b'£) %

The mutual consent having been duly expressed, the .
Priest bids the couple join hands and blesses them with
holy water.



20 My Wedding Day

If a marriage is declared null, the contracting parties are
free to marry other partners, if they so wish.

(b) Prohibitive (also called impedient or hinder-
ing) impedimeiits render a marriage unlawful, illicit,
but do not affect the validity. In this case the couple
are married, though unlawfully. If a marriage is con-
tracted with a prohibitive impediment without dispen-
sation, the marriage although illicit, is valid. The
parties commit a sin, if they concealed the impediment,
and must confess it.

Which are the chief diriment impediments

?

The chief diriment impediments are: physical in-
capacity for marriage, an existing marriage, coercion,
lack of age, close blood relationship, close affinity, holy
orders or solemn vows, public decency, disparity of
worship, marital infidelity with conspiracy, spiritual
relationship, and legal relationship.

A married person cannot contract another marriage
while the other party is living, even if they are sepa-
rated. A forced marriage is not valid. Boys under
sixteen and girls under fourteen cannot enter into mar-
riage. Second cousins, and those of closer relationship,
cannot be married. A man cannot marry his sister-in-
law or the sister of a supposed wife. Men who have
received major orders, and religious who have taken a
solemn vow of chastity, cannot contract a valid mar-
riage. A Catholic cannot marry an unbaptized person.
Godchildren may not marry their godparents, nor may
anyone marry the one who baptized him. A person
cannot marry the child he or she legally adopts.

Which are the chief prohibitive impediments?

The chief prohibitive impediments are: simple vows,
apostasy from the Catholic Church, mixed religion, and
forbidden times. Simple vows of virginity, chastity, or
celibacy, a vow to enter a religious order or to become
a priest; and marriage to baptized non-Catholics or
Catholic apostates are such impediments.



Matrimony—Instruction 21

Dispensations

What is a matrimonial dispensation?
A matrimonial dispensation is the relaxation in a

particular case of an impediment prohibiting or annull-
ing a marriage. When impediments exist, the Church
either completely forbids the administration of the
sacrament, or requires special assurances that the
dangers are reduced as far as possible; in this latter
case, a matrimonial “dispensation” is granted. It may
be granted: (a) in favor of a contemplated marriage or
(b) to legitimize one already contracted.

The Church has power to grant dispensations from
its own laws, and uses this power when there is a suffi-
ciently grave reason. The bishop and the parish priest
have authority to investigate each case, to see whether
there is reason for granting a dispensation. -And in
order to discourage unnecessary seeking after dispensa-
tions, an alms is required according to the petitioner’s
means. These alms help to defray the expenses of the
ecclesiastical tribunal established to safeguard marriage.
The poor are granted dispensations without charge.

Can the Church grant dispensations from all
impediments?

The Church cannot grant dispensations from im-
pediments that arise from divine or natural laws. For
instance, no dispensation can ever be given to allow a
father and daughter, or a brother and sister to be
married, or to permit a married person to contract
another marriage unless his first partner is dead.

Canonical Examination

What should a couple do who have decided to
get married?

A couple who have decided to get married should
separately appear, with their baptismal certificates,
before the parish priest of the bride, for the canonical



"•""’""I

The Wedding Ring

(See pages 4$-M)

The wedding ring is blessed
,
and should always be worn

,

as a symbol of a holy union.



Matrimony—Instruction 23

examination. This should be done about a month be-
fore the projected marriage, in order to allow time for
the calling of the banns. Ordinarily the marriage cere-
mony is not performed till three days after the last pub-
lication of the banns.

At the canonical examination, with hand on the
Gospels, the contracting party swears that he is telling
the truth. The main questions asked by the pastor
concern dispositions for the reception of the sacrament
of matrimony: the baptism, first communion, and
confirmation of the party questioned, and matrimonial
impediments. After the canonical examination, the
paper containing the main facts is signed by the party
examined. (See pages 86-95).

Should there be any impediments, an application for
a dispensation should be made. Should there be an im-
pediment impossible of being given dispensation, the
marriage cannot take place.

The canonical examination makes sure that the con-
tracting parties are free to contract marriage, that they
know what they are doing, and that they do it of their
own free will. In this way Mother Church shows her
solicitude for her children; every possible precaution is
taken in order that all may enter the state of matrimony
fully prepared and safeguarded.

After the canonical examination the marriage license
should be secured and other requirements of the state
complied with, such as blood tests, etc.

Where should the ceremony take place?

The marriage ceremony should take place ordinarily
in the parish church of the bride. With the permission
of the parish priest of the bride, the marriage may take
place in some other Catholic Church. Marriage should
not be celebrated in a private house, unless one party
is 'in danger of death.

At what time of day should the marriage cere-
mony he held?

Usually the marriage ceremony should be held in the



The Nuptial Blessing

(See pages 60-66)

After the Pater Noster, the Priest faces the couple
and reads the Nuptial Blessing.



Matrimony—Instruction 25

morning, with a Nuptial Mass at which the bride and
groom receive Holy Communion.

The Marriage Ceremony

The rite for the celebration of matrimony is in com-
plete form in the .second part of this pamphlet.

In what part of the ceremony is the Sacrament
of matrimony administered?

The part of the ceremony in which the sacrament of
matrimony is administered is the act by which the
parties give themselves to each other by expressing
their mutual free consent to take each other as husband
and wife (See pages 41-4%)

-

After this mutual consent is
expressed, even if something interrupts the rest of the
ceremonies, the man and woman are*validly married.
Without this mutual consent, there is no marriage.

The ministers of the sacrament are the contracting
parties themselves, the groom and bride. The priest
is the official witness authorized by the Church to be
present and bless the union in the presence of two other
Catholic witnesses.

On account of the dignity of the sacrament of matri-
mony and the sacredness of the Church where it takes
place, special care should be taken that the bride, the
witnesses, maid of honor, bridesmaids, and other at-
tendants should be dressed in keeping with Christian
modesty.

What music may be played or sung before the
wedding ceremony, at the Nuptial Mass, or
after the Mass?

Before the ceremony, at the Nuptial Mass, and after-
wards only sacred music and hymns should be rendered.
It is wrong in a church marriage to have secular songs
rendered, such as love songs, however full of sentiment.
A church is a place for prayer to God, not for speaking
to each other, however devoted the couple may be.



Receiving Holy Communion

( See pages (if)-67)

The newly-married pair should receive Holy Commun-
ion at their Nuptial Mass, in thanksgiving, and to ask
Our Lord to bless their married life.



Matrimony—Instruction 27

The place for such songs as “Will you be true, Dear?”
“O Promise Me,” etc., is the home, after the ceremony,
not the church. Secular music in church is an abuse
which is strictly forbidden by Chufch law.

Another abuse which should be curbed is that of
taking pictures. It is natural for a newly-wedded
pan* to wish for a remembrance of the occasion, and to
have pictures taken of the ceremony. But the photog-
raphy should be done in a quiet and dignified manner.
It is highly improper for photographers with a quantity

of apparatus to install themselves in the middle of the

aisle and in the sanctuary, and with the rapid lighting
of flares take photographs in such a way as to distract
and utterly spoil the dignity of the occasion. It is also
wrong for the couple and their attendants to stand with
their backs turned towards Our Lord in the Blessed
Sacrament while a photograph is taken. Such actions
in a church are disrespectful to Our Lord truly present
there; people should treat a wedding not as a time to
gossip and comment, but a time to pray.

Should the marriage ceremony be followed by
the Nuptial Mass?

The marriage ceremony should certainly be followed
by the Nuptial Mass; if this is not possible, at least the
Mass should be said later at a time when the couple is
present to receive the blessing. How many blessings the
couple would miss were they to discard the Nuptial
Mass! In that Mass—which can only be said for those
being married in union with the Church, and only for
the first marriage of the woman—God’s holy Church
pleads in behalf of the contracting parties, imploring

His blessings on them at the beginning of their married
life. In the Mass Christ as the* sacrificial Victim offers
Himself for the happiness of the newly-wedded pair.



28 My Wedding Day

Should the couple receive Holy Communion?

It would be folly and ingratitude on the part of those
who receive the Sacrament of Matrimony not to receive
also the Holy Eucharist. Would they not welcome Jesus
into their home if He visited them on the day of their
wedding? Why then should they not be eager to wel-
come Him into their very hearts? They will need His
guidance continuously during their married life; let them
receive Him on the /day that He especially wills to bless
them, that they may profit as much as possible from
the generosity of His Love.

Offerings

What offerings should be made to the Priest for
the marriage ceremony?

Each diocese has a schedule of usual offerings for
marriage; in all ordinary cases this schedule should be

observed in all the parishes of the diocese.

People of small means make a modest offering and
the very poor are excused from any offering.

For those who wish special altar decorations, there
may be extra expenses, and arrangements in advance
are made with the pastor. The offerings on such occa-
sions are for the maintenance of the clergy.

There is surely a lack of proportion when Catholics
spend extravagantly in pompous celebrations surround-
ing a wedding: dinners, dances, photographers, decora-
tions, gifts, trips, and ignore the opportunity to show
gratitude to the source of spiritual aid. How fitting it
would be for prosperous Catholics to give more than
the customary offering, out of the generosity of their
hearts, in thanksgiving for the joyful occasion of their

wedding day!



Matrimony—Instruction 29

Christian Marriage

How should we regard Christian marriage?

We should regard Christian marriage as a holy state
pleasing to God. Our Lord instituted special sacraments
for two states of life: the priesthood and matrimony.
From this fact we may understand how important He
considered these states. By the sacrament of matri-
mony He grants the contracting parties grace to enter
into partnership with God and with each other in the
propagation of the human race and in that exalted
function to bear the difficulties of the married state and
to sanctify their common life for His glory and the
salvation of their souls and the souls of their children.

What is meant by the unity of Christian
marriage?

Christian marriage is a union between only one man
and one woman; this is what we call the unity of mar-
riage. In the beginning when God created Adam and
gave him Eve as his helpmate, Adam exclaimed: “ This
now is bone of my bones , and flesh of my flesh . . . Where-
fore a man shall leave father and mother

,
and shall cleave

to his wife; and they shall be two in one flesh” (Gen.
2:23, 24).

In the course of time men failed to observe the unity
of marriage because the primitive revelation after the
Fall had come to them obscured. Our Lord, when He
came, restored marriage to its original unity. He said:
uHave you not read that the Creator

,
from the beginning

,

made them male and female
,
and said, ‘ For this cause a

man shall leave his father and mother
,
and cleave to his

wife
,
and the two shall become one flesh'? Therefore now

they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God
has joined together, let no man put asunder. . . . Moses, by
reason of the hardness of your heart, permitted you to put
away your wives', but it was not so from the beginning

”

(Matt. 19:4-8).

St. Paul compares matrimony to the mystical union



30 My Wedding Day

of Christ and His Church. As Christ is one, and the
Church is one, so is marriage between only one man
and one woman.

Divorce

What is divorce

?

Divorce is a legal separation of married persons; as
generally understood today, it is a complete severance
of the marriage bond, giving the parties the right to
marry other persons.

But when Christ came into the world, He renewed
all things. He restored marriage to its original dignity,
and declared it thence-forward as in the beginning in-
dissoluble and inviolable.

Christ definitely and strictly forbade the breaking of
the marriage bond. Nobody can misinterpret His
meaning:

“
Everyone who puts away his wife and marries

another commits adultery ; and he who marries a woman
who has been put away from her husband commits adul-
tery'

1 (Luke 10:18).
'

Our Lord lifted marriage from the natural to the
supernatural level, making of it a holy sacrament. And
this consummated sacramental marriage can never be
dissolved, except by the death of one of the parties.
Divorce—breaking the marriage bond, with the right
to remarry—is never permitted. Christ said: u Whoever
puts away his wife and marries another commits adultery
against her ; and if the wife puts away her husband and
marries another

,
she commits adultery" (Mark 10:11-12).

These words of Our Lord can mean nothing else but
that the marriage bond cannot be broken. Consum-
mated Christian marriage cannot be broken except by
the death of one of the parties.

The Church cannot and will not tamper with the
laws of God. Canon 1118 says: “A valid Christian
marriage, which has been consummated, cannot be
dissolved by any human authority, or for any reason
except by death.”



Matrimony—Instruction 31

The state that sanctions divorce commits slow sui-
cide; the most shallow observer can.see how divorce can
and will annihilate a nation relentlessly. Several
countries at first granted divorce on very strict grounds;
but gradually the cancer grew, and today these same
nations grant divorce for the most flimsy excuses, really
to be had for the mere asking. It is stated on good
authority that on the basis of present statistics, there
will be in the United States in 1985 one divorce for
every two marriages. Marriage and its burdens appear
unbearable when the courts are ever ready to offer an
escape. And marriage, degenerated to a temporary con-
tract, is entered into carelessly and thoughtlessly, for
there is always the expedient of divorce. What a
travesty of a sacrament!

Divorce is the source of moral corruption. It is ever
accompanied by birth control and a declining birth rate.
When a couple enter matrimony with the belief in its
insecurity, and the thought of a possible—and even
probable—divorce, they are not inclined to complicate
matters by the presence of children.

Annulment; Separation

Is not annulment divorce?

Annulment is certainly not divorce. When the
Church declares a marriage null, it merely states that
there never was a marriage, that the contract was
invalid from the beginning, on account of certain cir-
cumstances unknown to the priest at the time of the
ceremony. Annulment is not divorce—not the breaking
of the marriage bond—for it is the authentic decision
that the bond never existed.

When a marriage has been annulled by the Church
the parties may marry whomsoever they please, since
an annulment places them in the position of those who
were never married.



32 My Wedding Day

May a married couple live separately?

A married couple, for very grave reasons, such as
unfaithfulness, threats on the life of either, heresy, etc.,
may live separately, with the sanction of the bishop;
but in no case may either spouse marry again during
the lifetime of the other. This is called a separation.

The need of separation will seldom arise when both
husband and wife are good practical Catholics who seri-
ously considered the responsibilities of matrimony be-
fore embarking upon it, and who did so with prayer and
the blessings of the Church. For they will be given
ample grace to fulfill their duties and live a happy
married life, in the joy of their children, “in Christ and
in the Church.” For who has trusted in God and found
Him deaf to supplication?

Mutual Duties of the Married

What are the mutual duties of married persons?

Husband and wife should love each other, help each
other live chaste Christian lives, and bear patiently the
burdens of the married state. They must comfort and
support each other in the activities of their common
life, in the fulfillment of their duties, individual as well

as mutual, in all important matters, both spiritual and
material. “Now they are no longer two, but one flesh”
(Matt. 19:6).

They must remember that all marital relations must
be in accord with natural and divine law, in the “faith-
fulness of chastity. ° Their affection should not be
purely human, but holy and supernatural, in accord-
ance with the purpose of their state, which was insti-
tuted by God.

il
For we are the children of saints , and

we must not he joined together like heathens who know not
Godn (Tobias 8:5).

The husband should lovejiis wife as Christ loves the
Church, with a holy and supernatural love. The wife



Matrimony—Instruction 33

should love and obey her husband as the head of the
family. St. Paul says:

“
Let wives be subject to their

husbands as to the Lord
,
because a husband is head of the

wife, just as Christ is head of the Church” (Eph. V,23). In
explaining the meaning of this passage, our Holy Father
Pope Pius XI in his Encyclical on Christian Marriage
says:

“This subjection does not deny or take away the
liberty which fully belongs to the wflman both in view
of her dignity as a human person, and in view of her
most noble office as wife and mother and companion;
nor does it bid her obey her husband’s every request
even if not in harmony with right reason or with the
dignity due to her as a wife. . . . But it forbids that
exaggerated liberty which cares not for the good of the
family; it forbids that in this body which is the family,
the heart be separated from the head to the great detri-
ment of the whole body and the proximate danger of
ruin. For if the man is the head , the woman is the heart ,
and as he occupies the chief place in ruling

,
so she may

and ought to claim for herself the chief place in love”

Husband and wife owe each other fidelity. They
ought very carefully to avoid even the appearance of
unfaithfulness, for where jealousy is awakened conjugal
felicity ends. They should bear with each other’s faults
and infirmities, and not impair the happiness of their
home life by dissensions. They should always live to-
gether, helping each other in illness, poverty, and other
hardships of life, remembering that they have taken
each other “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health, till death.”

Matrimony and Birth Control; Abortion

What is the chief purpose of matrimony

?

The first purpose of God in instituting matrimony
was to populate the earth, and raise up souls who would
fill heaven with saints. To Adam and Eve He said:
“ Increase and multiply and fill the earth” (Gen. 1:28).



34 My Wedding Day

Is birth control forbidden by divine law?

Artificial birth control is forbidden by both the nat-
ural and the divine law, for it contravenes the primary
purpose of marriage, and prostitutes it for evil ends.
Since the primary purpose of marriage is to bring chil-
dren into the world, any attempt to frustrate this
purpose while making use of its means is intrinsically
evil, immoral, and necessarily a grievous sin.

God severely punishes even in this life those who
practice artificial birth control; it results in sterility,

vice, weakness of the will, ruined health, and broken
homes. We read in Holy Scripture of one who practiced
“birth control":

“
Therefore the Lord slew Onan, because

he did a detestable thing” (Gen. 38:10). One who tries to
circumvent God cannot escape punishment, either in
this life or in the next.

The only licit way of preventing birth and limiting
the number of children is by not using the marital
rights. The Church, speaking in the name of God,
severely and positively condemns any other ways. If a
couple, upon contracting matrimony, agree not to have
children, although intending to use the marital rights,
their marriage is null, invalid, no marriage.

The practice of birth control will, if carried out to its
inevitable conclusion, some day, as a sardonic writer
comments, “give over the country to the animals.” In
the United States the birth rate is steadily going down;
one-seventh of our couples are childless. It is estimated
that by 1960 the population will remain stationary for
some time, and then decline.

Is direct abortion evil?

Direct abortion is evil, a grave sin, contrary to the
law of God. It is equivalent to murder. When the fetus
is intentionally removed from the mother’s womb be-
fore it is able to lead a separate life, even if this were
done in the very earliest period of pregnancy, direct
abortion is committed. Those guilty of direct abortion,
or those who cooperate either physically or morally,
incur excommunication.



—

Duties of Parents

(See pages 36-37)

Parents should take care of their children in soul and
body. As early as possible children should be taught
about God. They should be sent to Catholic schools

,
when-

ever available. Children should neither be spoiled nor

harshly treated.



36 My Wedding Day

Direct abortion cannot be permitted even to save the
mother’s life. If the fetus or baby is purposely killed
because by not doing so the mother might die, direct
abortion is committed.

What is indirect abortion?
Indirect abortion occurs when, although not intended,

the death of the fetus or child follows some operation
or other treatment performed on the mother. Such
treatments and operations are permitted only when it
is certain that both mother and child would otherwise
die; in such cases the child must receive Baptism. In
order to be certain of circumstances, a conscientious
Catholic physician should be consulted.

Duties of the Married as Parents
»

What are the duties of the married as parents?

It is the grave obligation of parents to care for their
children and to bring them up in the love and fear of
God. Thus they should provide for their children in
both soul and body: look after their religious and moral
training, their bodily needs, their education, manners,
etc. Children are a gift of God; they are His creatures,
and are only given in trust to their parents, in order to
be trained in His holy service. It should be the aim of
good parents to be able to say before God’s judgment
seat:

“
Those whom thou hast given me I guarded; and

not one of them perished” (John 17:12).

In Matrimony a man and his wife take part in the
work of the Creator, giving life to a deathless soul. If
the married would ponder this fact, they surely would
not neglect their duties towards their children, to “rear
them in the discipline and admonition of the Lord”
(Eph. 6:4).

“
’Tis education forms the common mind,

just as the twig is bent, the tree’s inclined” (Pope,
Moral Essays). Even wild beasts take the utmost care
of their young; but certain modern parents in their
pursuit of pleasures neglect the proper upbringing of
their offspring.



Matrimony—Instruction 37

The care of the children devolves in great part on the
mother, although the father should not neglect his
share. Both should exercise personal supervision over
their children; God did not place the care of children
in the hands of servants, blit of parents.

It is false love for children to indulge them in their
whims, for it spoils their character. Children who are
not corrected while young will grow up self-willed and
disobedient. However, parents should be careful not
to punish their children too often or too harshly, or
their children will grow up afraid of them, and probably
of everybody and everything else.

The place of education for Catholic children is a
Catholic school when it is possible. At all times both
parents should give their children good example, for
‘actions speak louder than words. Some parents are at
great pains to amass wealth to bequeath to their chil-
dren, but pay hardly any attention to their proper up-
bringing. The best legacy parents can leave their
children is the love of God.



PART II

The Ritual for the Celebration of Matrimony

The ceremonies used in the celebration of matrimony
are taken from the Roman Ritual.
The priest officiating vests in surplice and white stole,

and for greater solemnity, in a white cope; if the Nuptial
Mass is to follow, he wears an alb stole and the chasuble,
instead of a surplice. The priest is accompanied by an
acolyte bearing the Ritual and holy water, and another
acolyte bearing on a tray a wedding ring, or rings, if
the groom also will have a ring blessed, should there be
no ring bearer.
The wedding party should be punctual, so as not to

delay other ceremonies scheduled to take place in the
church.

The Ritual does not say in what part of the church
the ceremony should be celebrated; our present custom,
however, is to have it at the foot of the altar. The
groom is placed at the right of the bride, with the two
witnesses next to them.

Facing the bridal pair, the priest explains to them,
as commanded, the fruits and effects of the sacrament
they are about to receive, in the following or similar
words

:

Instructions Before Marriage

My dear friends, you are about to enter intox
a union which is most sacred and most

serious. It is most sacred, as having been in-
stituted by God Himself, and raised to the
dignity of a sacrament by Our Lord Jesus
Christ. You who are about to enter into this
holy bond of matrimony should consider that
it is the state of life you have voluntarily
chosen to attain the salvation of your souls;
you should remember the unity and per-
petuity with which the Creator endowed this

38



The Ceremony 39

holy bond. Of the husband and wife Our
Lord Himself says: “And they two shall be in
one flesh. What , therefore , God hath joined
together

,
let no man put asunder There is no

human power that can dissolve your marriage,
no court of appeal to which to apply for a
divorce.

Consider well the ends for which you un-
dertake this holy union. The first end of
matrimony is to cooperate with God in raising
up children for heaven: children who will be
the heirs, not so much of your earthly pos-
sessions, as of your faith and virtue. Matri-
mony was also instituted so that you may
help each other in the hardships of life. And
to accomplish these ends, you must guard
mutual fidelity, and rest the security of your
wedded life upon the great principle of self-
sacrifice. Be faithful in the voluntary and
complete surrender of your individual lives in
the interest of that deeper and wider life
which you are to have in common. Be gen-
erous: in proportion as you love each other
deeply, your sacrifices will be made easy;
perfect love can make any sacrifice a joy. God
so loved the world that He gave Himself for
our salvation. Nor will God be wanting to
your needs: He pledges you the life-long sup-
port of His graces in the holy sacrament
which you are now going to receive, taking
each other for better or for worse, for richer
or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until
death.



My Wedding Day40

Christian marriage has been raised to the
dignity of a sacrament, a symbol of the union
between Christ and His Church; love each
other, then, as Christ loves His Church. So
the husband must look upon his wife as a
companion, not a servant; he must occupy
himself in honest labor to support his family,
as well as to avoid idleness, which is the
beginning of many evils. So the wife must be
as an enclosed garden, a model of virtue, a
comfort and a help to her husband. Let both
live in Christian charity and understanding,
giving good example to their children, and in
all things subjecting themselves humbly to
God.

Remember that some day you will have to
give an account of your lives, and the lives of
all who are confided to your care, before the
throne of the Most High. Take care, then, to
teach those under you the holy fear of God.
Be holy, and teach those under you to be
holy, for God our Father is holy. May Our
Lord grant you a chaste wedded life, bless you
with holy children, and give you eternal bliss:
He Who with the Father and the Holy Ghost
liveth and reigneth God, world without end.
Amen.

The priest then addresses himself to the contracting
parties and the witnesses

,
saying:

If you are aware of any impediment, on
account of which this marriage cannot, or



The Ceremony 41

should not, be contracted—if there is between
you any impediment of consanguinity, or
affinity, or spiritual relationship, or public

honesty; if one of you is bound by a vow of
chastity, or religion, or is betrothed or mar-
ried to another person: finally, if there is
between you any other impediment—if there
is any such impediment whatsoever, I require
and command you to manifest it. If any of
you here present is aware of any impediment
to this marriage, I likewise command that he
make it known.

The Form of Marriage

After a pausef if no impediment is indicatedf the priest
turns to the bridegroom and asks:

wilt thou take here present, for thy
lawful wife, according to the rite of our holy
Mother, the Church?

Bridegroom: I w^*

The priest then turns to the bride and asks

:

wilt thou take here present, for thy
lawful husband, according to the rite of our
holy Mother, the Church?

Bride: 1 will.

The consent of one is not sufficient; it must be expressed
in some sensible sign by both. Having obtained this mutual
consent

,
the priest bids the contracting parties join their



42 My Wedding Day

right hands. In places where it is customary
,
the man and

woman pledge themselves each to the other as follows
,
re-

peating these words after the priest.

The man says:

I, N. N., take thee, N. N., for my lawful wife,
to have and to hold, from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health, until death do us
part.

The woman says:

I, N. N., take thee, N. N., for my lawful
husband, to have and to hold, from this day
forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for

poorer, in sickness and
do us part.

Then the priest says:

J7go conj ungo vos in
matrimonium {and

making over both the
sign of the cross , adds:)

In nomine Patris
et Filii, et Spiritus

Sancti. Amen.

in health, until death

J
join you together

x
in marriage, {and

making over both the
sign of the cross , adds:)

In the name of the
Father and of the
Son, and of the Holy
Ghost. Amen.

The priest then sprinkles the couple with holy water.
This done

,
he turns toward the altar and blesses the

wedding ring (or rings).



The Ceremony 43

Blessing of the Ring (or Rings)

^djutorium nostrum
in nomine Domini.

Qur help is in the
name of the Lord.

R. Qui fecit coelum
et terrain.

R. Who made
heaven and earth.

V. Domine, exaudi
orationem meam.

R. Et clamor meus
ad te veniat.

V. Dominus vobis-
cum.

R. Et cum spiritu tuo.

%

Oremus •

Benedic, Domine,
annulum hunc (am
nulos .hos) quern
(quos) nos in tuo
nomine benedicimus:
ut, quae eum gesta-
verit, (qui eos gestrn
verint)

,
fidelitatem ln-

tegram suo sponso
tenens, (sibi invicem
tenentes), in pace et
voluntate tua perma-
neat (permaneant)

,

atque in mutua cari-

V. Lord , hear my
prayer.

R. And let my cry
come unto Thee.

V. The Lord be with
you.

R. And with thy
spirit.

Let us Pray

Bless, O Lord, this
ring (these rings),

which we + bless in
Thy name, that she
who is (they who are)
to wear it (them),

keeping true faith un-

to her husband (each

other), may abide in
Thy peace and obedi-
ence to Thy will, and
ever live in mutual



44 My Wedding Day

tate semper vivat (vi-
vant). Per Christum
Dominum nostrum.
R Amen.

love. Through Christ
our Lord.

R- Amen.

The priest sprinkles holy water on the wedding ring
{rings). Receiving the bride's ring from the hand of the
priest, the bridegroom places it on the third finger of the
left hand of the bride, saying:

\X7"ith this ring I thee wed, and I pledge
unto thee my fidelity.

Then the priest says:

Jn nomine Patris, 4-x
et Filii, et Spiritus

Sancti. Amen.

Jn the name of the
Father 4* and of the

Son, and of the Holy
Ghost. Amen.

This done, the priest adds:

V. Confirma hoc,
Deus, quod operatus
es in nobis.

R- A templo sancto
tuo, quod est in Jeru-
salem.

V
. Kyrie eleison.

R. Christe eleison.

V. Kyrie eleison.

V. Preserve, O God,
what Thou hast
wrought in us.

R* From out Thy
holy temple which is
in Jerusalem.

V. Lord, have mercy.

R- Christ, have
mercy.

V. Lord, have mercy.



The Ceremony 45

Pater noster
(se

-

creto usque ad)

V. Et ne nos inducas
in tentationem.

R. Sed libera nos a
malo.

V. Salvos fac servos
tuos.

R. Deiis meus, sper-
antes in te.

V. Mitteeis, Domine,
auxilium de sancto.

R. Et de Sion tuere
eos.

V. Esto eis, Domine,
turris fortitudinis.

R. A facie inimici.

V. Domine, exaudi
orationem meam.
R. Et clamor meus
ad te veniat.

V. Dominus vobis-
cum.

R. Et cum spiritu
tuo.

Our Father {silent-
ly).

V. And lead us not
into temptation.

R. But deliver us
from evil.

V. Save Thy servants.

R. Who put their
trust in Thee, my
God.

V. Send them help
from the holy place.

R. And from Sion
come to their defense.

V. Be Thou to them,
Lord, a tower of

strength.

R. Against the face of
the enemy.

V. Lord, hear my
prayer.

R. And let my cry
come unto Thee.

V. The Lord be with
you.

R. And with thy
spirit.

Let us PrayOremus



46 My Wedding Day

Respice, quaesu-
mus, Domine, super
hos famulos tuos: et
institutes tuis, quibus
propagationem hu-
mani generis ordinas-
ti, bemgnus assiste;
ut, qui te auctore jun-
guntur, te auxiliante

serventur. Per Chris-
tum Dominum nos-
trum. Amen.

Look down, we be-
seech Thee, O Lord,
upon these Thy ser-
vants, and graciously
safeguard Thy ordi-
nances whereby Thou
hast provided for the
propagation of man-
kind

;
that those who

are joined together by
Thine authority may
be preserved by Thy
help. Through Christ
our Lord. Amen.

Then follows the Nuptial Mass, Pro Sponso et Sponsa,
during which the solemn Nuptial Blessing is given, un-
less for some reason the Mass is transferred to another
day, or omitted on account of the woman’s being a
widow and having received the Blessing at her first
marriage.

The priest puts on the maniple and starts the Nuptial
Mass, Pro Sponso et Sponsa

,
beginning with Deus

Israel. If the Nuptial Blessing is given on a Sunday,
holyday of obligation, double of the first or second class,
Vigil of Christmas, the Epiphany or Pentecost, or within
the privileged Octaves of Epiphany, Easter, Pentecost
or Corpus Christi, Ash Wednesday, Holy Week or All
Souls, the Mass of the day is said, with the Gloria and
Credo

,
if it is prescribed, and with the commemoration

of the Nuptial Mass under the same conclusion as the
Mass of the day, the prayers Propitiare and Deus qui
potestate

,
the Blessing Deus Abraham

,
and whate'vcr

else pertains to the Nuptial Mass.

If such be the custom, lighted candles may be placed
on candlesticks before the newly-married couple and
their witnesses.



Part III

THE MASS PRO SPONSO ET SPONSA

Prayer Before Mass

Before the priest begins Mass, the following may be said:

O Lord God, we are Thy unworthy servants. Helpus to be attentive and to pray with all our hearts
during this holy Mass.

We offer this Mass:

First, for Thy honor and glory, that all may know
and love Thee;

Second, to thank Thee for all Thou hast done for us
and especially for having made us partakers of this
holy sacrament;

Third, to implore Thy blessings on our union, that
we may ever love and serve Thee and be to each other
all that is well pleasing to Thee.

Holy Mother Mary, help us pray during this Mass
that God may shower His blessings upon us.

The Beginning of Mass

Make the sign of the cross with the priest:

I
n the name of the Father, 4* and of the Son and of
the Holy Ghost. Amen.

I adore Thee, O my God, and I firmly believe that
the Mass at which I am going to assist is the Sacrifice
of the Body and Blood of Thy Son Jesus Christ, my
Saviour. O grant that I may assist at it with thejatten-
tion, reverence and devotion due to such a holy mystery.

47



48 My Wedding Day

Give me those sentiments I should have had on Mount
Calvary, if I had been a witness of that bloody Sacrifice.

Lord Jesus Christ, in union with Thee, we offer this
holy Mass to implore Thy graces for ourselves and for
our home.

0 blessed Virgin, and all ye Saints and Angels, inter-
cede and pray for us. And may the almighty and
merciful God grant us pardon and peace.

When the priest goes up to the Altar, say.:

Lord Jesus Christ, help us to know Thee better and
to love Thee more.

The Introit

The priest now goes to the Missal which is at the right or Epistle
side.

pvEUS Israel conjungatU vos: et ipse sit vobis-
cum, qui misertus est
duobus unicis: et nunc,
Domine, fac eos plenius
benedicere te.

Ps. 127. Bead omnes
qui timent Dominum:
qui ambulant in viis ejus.

V. Gloria Patri, et
Filio, et Spiritui Sancto.

R. Sicut erat in prin-
cipio, et nunc, et semper,
et in saecula saeculorum.
Amen.

May the God of Israeljoin you together,
and may He be with you,
Who took pity on two
only children ( Tab VIII,
19): and now, O Lord,
make them bless thee more
fully.

Ps. 127. Blessed are all
they that fear the Lord:
that walk in his ways.

V. Glory be to the
Father, and to the Son,
and to the Holy Ghost.

R. As it was in the be-
ginning, is now, and ever
shall be, world without
end. Amen.



The Nuptial Mass

*1

49

The Kyrie and the Gloria

The priest goes to the center of the Altar and says aloud : “Kyrie
Eleison etc., and then the Gloria, if it is permitted by the rubrics.

J^yrie eleison.

Kyrie eleison.

Kyrie eleison.

Christe eleison.

Christe eleison.

Christe eleison.

Kyrie eleison.

Kyrie eleison.

Kyrie eleison.

The priest, then kisses the altar and turning to the people, says:

Dominus vobiscum. (The Lord be with you.)

The server answers for us: Et cum spiritu tuo (And
with thy spirit.)

The Collect and the Epistle

The priest goes again to the right or Epistle side, and reads the
Collect and the Epistle.

Oremus

T^xaudi nos, omnipotens
et misericors Deus: ut,

quod nostro ministratur
officio, tua benedictione

potius impleatur. Per
Dominum nostrum Jesum
Christum Ffiium tuum,
qui tecum vivit et regnat
in unitate Spiritus sancti

Let us Pray

TTEAR us, almighty and
J“L merciful God, that
what is done by our
ministry may be abun-
dantly fulfilled with Thy
blessing. Through Jesus
Christ Thy Son our Lord,
who liveth and reigneth
with Thee in the unity of

J^ord, have mercy.

Lord, have mercy.

Lord, have mercy.

Christ, have mercy.

Christ, have mercy.

Christ, have mercy.

Lord, have mercy.

Lord, have mercy.

Lord, have mercy.



50 My Wedding Day

Dcus. Per omnia saccula
saeculorum. R. Amen.

{Lectio Epistolae beati

Pauli Apostoli ad Ephe-
sios

}
c. 5.)

T^ratres: Mulieres viris
suissubditaesint, sicut

Domino: quoniam vir
caput est mulieris, sicut
Christus caput est Eccle-
siae: ipse salvator corporis
ejus. Sed sicut Ecclesia
subjecta est Christo, ita
et mulieres viris suis
in omnibus. Viri, diligite
uxores vestras, sicut et
Christus dilexit Eccle-
siam, et seipsum tradidit
pro ea, ut illam san-
ctificaret, mundans
lavacro aquae in verbo
vitae, ut exhiberet ipse
sibi gloriosam Ecclesiam,
non habentem maculam,
aut rugam, aut aliquid
hujusmodi, sed ut sit
sancta et immaculata.
Ita et viri debent diligere
uxores suas, ut corpora
sua. Qui suam uxorem
diligit, seipsum diligit.
Nemo enim unquam car-
nem suam odio habuit:
sed nutrit, et fovet earn,
sicut et Christus Eccle-
siam: quia membra sumus
corporis ejus, de carne

the Holy Ghost, one God.
For ever and ever.
R. Amen.

Lesson from the Epistle

of St. Paul the Apostle to
the Ephesians

,
c. 5.

T)rethren: Let women^ be subject to their
husbands, as to the Lord:
for the husband is the head
of the wife, as Christ is the
head of the Church. He is
the savior of His body.
Therefore, as the Church
is subject to Christ, so
also let the wives be to
their husbands in all
things. Husbands, love
your wives, as Christ also
loved the Church, and de-
livered Himself up for it;
that He might sanctify it,
cleaning it by the laver of
water in the word of life;
that He might present it to
Himself a glorious Church,
not having spot, or wrinkle,
or any such thing, but
that it should be holy and
without blemish. So also
ought men to love their
wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife,
loveth himself. For no
man ever hated his own
flesh, but nourisheth and
cherisheth it

;
as also Christ

doth the Church: because



The Nuptial Mass 51

ejus, et de ossibus ejus.
Propter hoc relinquet
homo patrem, et ma-
trem suam, et adhaerebit
uxori suae: et erunt duo
in carne una. Sacra-
mentum hoc magnum est;
ego autem dico in Christo,
et in Ecclesia. Verum-
tamen et vos singuli,
unUsquisque uxorem
suam sicut seipsum dili-
gat: uxor autem timeat
virum suum.

Graduale. Ps. 127

Uxor tua sicut vitisabundans in lateribus
domus tuae.

V. Fflii tui sicut nove-
Uae olivarum in circuitu
mensae tuae. Alleluia,
alleluia. Ps, 19. Mittat
vobis Dominus auxilium
de sancto: et de Sion
tueatur vos. Alleluia.

After Septuagesima, instead
following Tract is said:

Tractus. Ps. 127

Tj' cce sic benedicetur
^omnis homo, qui
timet Dominum. V. Bene-
dicat tibi Dominus ex
Sion: et videas bona
Jerusalem omnibus diebus
vitae tuae. V. Et videas

we are members of His
body, of His fiesh, and of
His bones. For this cause
shall a man leave his
father and mother, and
shall cleave to his wife;
and they shall be two in
one flesh. This is a great
sacrament; but I speak in
Christ and in the Church.
Nevertheless, let every
one of you in particular
love his wife as himself,

and let the wife fear her
husband.

Gradual. Ps. 127

Thy wife shall be as afruitful vine on the
walls of thy house.

V. Thy children as olive
plants round about thy
table. Alleluia, alleluia.

Ps.19. May the Lord send
you help from the sanctu-
ary, and defend you out of
Sion. Alleluia.

the Alleluia and its Verse, the

Tract. Ps. 127

Behold thus shall theman be blessed that
feareth the Lord. V. May
the Lord bless thee out of
Sion

;
and maycst th.ou see

the good things of Jerusa-
lem all the days of thy life.



52 My Wedding Day

filios filiorum tuorum: pax
super Israel.

In Paschal Time the Gradual
following is said:

Alleluia, alleluia,
f/

5 19. M i ttat vobis
ominus auxilium de

sancto: et de Sion tueatur
vos. Alleluia, y p

^

Benedicat vobis Dominus
ex Sion, qui fecit coelum et
terrain. Alleluia.

And mayest thou see
tHy children’s children:
peace upon Israel.

is omitted, and in its place the

Alleluia, alleluia, y
Ps. 19. May the Lord send
you nelp from the sanctu-
ary, and defend you out of
Sion. Alleluia y ps mj,
May the Lord out of Sion
bless you; He that made
heaven and earth. Alleluia.

The Gospel

The Missal is carried to the left or Gospel side of the altar. We
make the sign of the cross on our forehead to show that we believe
what Jesus Christ has taught us, On our lips to show we will never
speak against it,. Off our breast to show we love it and will do as
He bids us.

(.Sequentia sancti Evan-
gelii secundum Matthaeum

,

c. 19.)

I
N illo tempore: Accesse-
runt ad Jesum Phari-

saei tentantes eum, et
dicentes: Si licet homini
dimittere uxorem suam,
quacumque ex causa?
Qui respondens, ait eis:
Non legistis quia qui fecit
hominem ab initio, mas-
culum et feminam fecit
eos? et dixit: Propter
hoc dimittet homo patrem
et matrem, et adhaerebit
uxori suae, et erunt duo

( Continuation of the holy
Gospel according to St.
Matthew

,
c. 19.)

At that time: The Pha-risees came to Jesus,
tempting Him and saying:
Is it lawful for a man to
put away his wife for
any cause? Who answer-
ing, said to them: Have
ye not read, that He who
made man from the begin-
ning, made them male and
female? and He said: For
this cause shall a man leave
father and mother, and
shall cleave to his wife, and



The Nuptial Mass 53

in carne una. Itaque jam
non sunt duo, sed una
caro. Quod ergo Deus
conjunxit, homo non
separet.

they two shall be in one
flesh. Therefore now they
are not two, but one flesh.
What therefore God hath
joined together, let no man
put asunder.

After the Gospel, the priest kisses the attar again and turning to
the people, says:

Dominus vobiscum (The Lord be with you).

The .server, answers for us: ^t cum spiritu tuo (And
with thy spirit).

The Offertory

The first principal part of the Mass.

TN te speravi, Domine:
-* dixi: Tu es Deus meus:
in manibus tuis tempora
mea.

I
N Thee, O Lord, have I
hoped: I said Thou art

my God; my times are in
Thy hands.

The priest now takes the veil off the chalice, and holds lip with
both hands the paten on which lies the host—the bread which is
to be changed into the Body of Owr Lord. He then poufs wine

—

and adds in a few drops of water—which will be changed info the
Blood of Christ—into the chalice and offers it to God as he did
with the host.

A CCEPT, O heavenly Father, this unspotted host, and
the chalice which the Priest offers up to Thee, and

which will soon become the Body and Blood of our
Saviour. I offer it to Thy Divine Majesty for my in-
numerable sins and offenses.

And in union with this offering, O my God, I offer
Thee my heart though unworthy; change it, and make
it like unto the sacred Heart of Jesus, meek and humble,
and full of love for Thee and my neighbor.

I also offer up to Thee whatever I shall do or suffer
today and all my life. I wish to do all things, and
suffer all things for the love of my Saviour, who offered
Himself for me in a bloody manner on the cross, and
offers Himself anew in an unbloody manner in this
holy Mass.



54 My Wedding Day

The Lavabo

The priest washes his hands to show how pure we ought to be
when we come near our Blessed Lord.

T avabo inter innocen-
tes manus meas: et

circumdabo altare tuum,
Domine.

Ut audiam vocem
laudis: et enarrem uni-
versa mirabilia tua.

Domine, dilexi decorem
domus tuae: et locum
habitations gloriae tuae.

Ne perdas cum impiis,
Deus, animam meam: et
cum viris sanguinum
vitam meam.

In quorum manibus
iniquitates sunt: dextera
eorum repleta est mune-
ribus.

Ego autem in inno- N

centia mea ingressus sum:
redime me, et miserere
mei.

Pes meus stetit in
directo; in ecclesiis bene-
dicam te, Domine.

Gloria Patri, et Filio, et
Spiritui Sancto.

Sicut erat ill principio

et nunc, et semper, et in
saecula saeculorum . Amen

.

T will wash my hands
among the innocent:

and I will compass Thine
altar, O Lord.
That I may hear the

voice of Thy praise: and
tell of all Thy wondrous
works.

O Lord, I have loved
beauty of Thy house: and
the place where Thy glory
dwelleth.

Destroy not my soul
with the wicked, O God:
nor my life with men of
blood.

In whose hands are in-
iquities: their right hand
is filled with gifts.

But I have walked in
mine innocence: redeem
me, and have mercy on me.

My foot hath stood in
the straight way: in the
churches I will bless Thee,
O Lord.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the
Holy Ghost.

As it was in the begin-
ning, is now, and ever
shall be, world without
end. Amen.



The Nuptial Mass 55
* *

Then, bowing a little at the middle of the altar, with his hands

joined above it, the priest says:

OUSCIPE, sancta Trinitas,

hanc oblationem quam
tibi offerimus ob memori-

am passionisv resurrection is
et ascension is Jesu Christi

Domini nostri, et in
honorem beatae Mariae
semper Virginis, et beati

Joann is Baptistao, et
sanctorum Apostolorum
Petri et Pauli, et istorum,

et omnium sanctorum;
ut illis proffeiat ad
honorem, nobis autem ad
salutem; et illi pro nobis

intercedere dignentur in

coelis, quorum memoriam
agimus in t err is. Per
eumdem Christum Domi-
num nostrum. Amen.

J^eceive, 0 Holy Trin-
V

ity, this offering which

we make to Thee, in re-
membrance of the Passion,
Resurrection, and Ascen-

sion of our Lord Jesus

Christ, and in honour of

blessed Mary ever Virgin,
of blessed John the Bap-

tist, of the holy apostles

Peter and Paul, of these

and of all the saints: that

it may avail to their hon-
our and our salvation : and

may they vouchsafe to
intercede for us in heaven,

whose memory we cele-
brate on earth. Through

the same Christ our Lord.

Amen.

Orate Fratres

This means: “Brethren, pray.’’ The priest turns to the people
and asks them to pray with him.

^Arate, fratres, ut meum
ac vestrum sacrifi-

cium acceptabile fiat apud
Deum Patrem omnipoten-
tcm.

T) rethren, pray that my
sacrifice and yours

may be acceptable to God
the Father almighty.



56 My Wedding Day

The server answers:

R- Suscipiat Dominus
sacrificium de manibus
tuis ad laudem et gloriam

nominis sui, ad utilitatem

quoquenostram, totiusque

Ecclesiae suae sanctae.

R- May the Lord re-
ceive the sacrifice at thy

hands, to the praise and

glory of His name, to our

benefit, and to that of all

His holy Church.

The Secret Prayers

Ouscipe, quaesumus,
^ Domine, pro sacra
connubii lege munus ob-
latum: et cujus largitor es

operis, esto dispositor. Per

Dominum nostrum Jesum
Christum Filium tuum,
qui tecum vivit et regnat

in unitate Spiritus sancti

Deus. Per omnia saecula

saeculorum. R- Amen.

Receive, we beseechthee, O Lord, the
offering we make to Thee
on behalf of the holy bond
of wedlock; and even as
this institution is the gift
of Thy bounty, do Thou
so dispose of it according
to Thy will. Through
Jesus Christ Thy Son our
Lord, who liveth and
reigneth with Thee in the
unity of the Holy Ghost,
one God. For ever and
ever. R- Amen.

The Preface

With hands extended, the priest reads the Preface.

(Reflection)

Tndeed, it is but meet and just that we make such
* offerings to God, and that we praise and glorify His
name, for He i's the only God; He is the Holy One who
deserves all praise and glory. And as we are but poor
wretched sinners who can never praise such a God as
we should do, let us unite ourselves with all the Angels
and Saints, who humbly adore Him; let us join our



The Nuptial Mass 57

voices with them and cry out from the bottom of our

heart. ( The hell rings three times.)

We say the same words the Angels sing in Heaven:

Oanctus, sanctus, sanc-
tus Dominus Deus

sabaoth. Pleni sunt coeli

et terra gloria tua:
Hosanna in excelsis.
Benedictus qui venit in

nomine Domini: Hosanna
in excelsis.

TToly, holy, holy, Lord

God of hosts. Heaven
and earth are full of Thy
glory. Hosanna in the
highest. Blessed is He
that cometh in the name
of the Lord. Hosanna in
the highest.

THE CANON OF THE MASS

The most solemn part of Mass is near

All is still around the altar now and the priest prays in a low
voice. Many Angels have come down from Heaven, and are waiting
to adore their God.

Prayer for the Living

l^ow the moment is drawing near when Thou, O my
Lord, wilt come down from heaven and dwell in

our midst. Cleanse, therefore, our hearts, purify and
bless them, that we may become worthy of Thy most
holy presence. Bless and protect our Holy Church;

pour forth Thy benediction on our Holy Father, the
Pope, on our bishop, on our pastor and on all the faith-

ful. Accept this Sacrifice in thanksgiving for all the

benefits which I have received from Thee; in satisfaction

for my sins; for obtaining Thy holy grace, especially for
a happy wedded life. Grant us Thy blessing, spiritual
and temporal, O Lord God.



58 My Wedding Day

But it is not only Thy blessing I desire; no, it is
Thyself, O Jesus. Thou art coming; the gates of heaven
open; the great God is about to come on the altar.

The Consecration

The second principal part of the Mass.

The priest takes the bread in his hands and says the very words
Our Lord said at the Last Supper: “THIS IS MY BODY,” and
at once the bread is changed into the Body of Jesus Christ. The
Priest bends his knee to adore Our Lord really present, and then
holds up the Sacred Host for people to adore, places it on the altar
and genuflects again. The bell rings three times.

LOOK FOR A MOMENT ON THE SACRED HOST, saying
reverently:

"My Lord and My God!”
Then bow down and adore.

TTAiL, Sacred Host, Victim of Love, Eternal King!

Hail, precious Body of the Incarnate Son of God!
Bless, preserve, and sanctify our souls, that we may
never be separated from Thee. I believe in Thee, I hope

in Thee, I love Thee
;
to Thee be honor, praise, and glory

forever and ever. Have mercy on me, according to
Thy great mercy. Amen.

The priest takes the chalice in his hands and says over the wine
the very words Our Lord said at the Last Supper: “THIS IS
MY BLOOD.” The wine is immediately changed into the Blood
of Jesus Christ. The chalice like the Host is lifted up for the
people to adore. The bell rings again three times.

LOOK FOR A MOMENT AT THE CHALICE, in which
is the Precious Blood of Jesus, then bow down and adore, saying
reverently:

"My Jesus, mercy!”

TTAiL, Sacred Blood, flowing from the wounds of

Jesus Christ to wash away the sins of the world!

Wash my heart clean of all defilement, that I may be



The Nuptial Mass 59

pleasing to Thee, and be made worthy of Thy promises,
0 Jesus, only-begotten Son of God, full of grace and
truth. Cleanse and purify me; live, Jesus, in me, and
make me live in Thee. Amen.

After the Consecration

Jesus is now on the altar. He is there for us, to hear us tell
Him what we want and to help us. He has said: “Ask and you
shall receive.” Think what things you want for your new state of
life and ask Him for them. Offer yourself to Jesus, and be united
with Him. Then pray to the Eternal Father.

Eternal Father, here is Thy beloved Son on this
altar. I offer Him to Thee, as my most precious

gift. But since I never wish to be separated from Him,
accept also, with Him, the gift of myself: all that I
am and have—my mind, my body, my heart, and my
soul, and this my beloved spouse whom Thou hast
given me. Bless my offerings in union with Thy Divine
Son, and grant that I may be faithful to my vows, for
the love of Thee.

Prayer for the Dead

Eternal Father, looking down upon the unspotted
Sacrifice of Thy own divine Son, Who cries out to

Thee for mercy, have mercy on the poor souls who are
yet suffering in purgatory; and in particular on the souls
of N. N.

;
and on those of our deceased parents, relations,

benefactors, neighbors, etc.
;
likewise on such as I have

in any way injured, or to whom I have been the occasion
of sin, or who have injured me.

And also to us, poor miserable sinners, grant the
same, 0 Lord; judge us not according to our sins, but
according to Thy infinite mercy by which we hope to
obtain pardon of them, and Thy holy grace. We ask it



60 My Wedding Day

of Thee in the name of. Him Who is here on the altar,
and who liveth and reigneth with Thee forever and ever.

The Pater Noster

The priest now raises his voice and says Our Lord’s Prayer.

J>ater noster, qui es in

coelis, sanctificetur

nomen tuum: adveniat
regnum tuum: fiat vo-
luntas tua, sicut in coelo

et in terra. Panem nos-

trum quotidianum da
nobis hodie; et dimitte

nobis debita nostra, sicut

et nos dimittimus debi-

toribus nostris: et ne nos

inducas in tentationem.

R. Sed libera nos a
malo.

^^UR Father, who art in
heaven, hallowed be

Thy name: Thy kingdom

come
;
Thy will be done on

earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily

bread: and forgive us our

trespasses, as we forgive

those who trespass against

us; and lead us not into

temptation.

R. But deliver us from

evil.

After the Pater Noster, the priest interrupts the usual sequence

of the Mass, and, turning to the bridal couple who kneel before
the altar, confers the Nuptial Blessing upon them, with the follow-

ing prayers:

Oremus

J)ropitiare, D 6 m i n e,
supplicationibus nostris,

et institutis tuis, quibus

Let us Pray

jgE favorable, O Lord,
unto our humble

prayers, and graciously



The Nuptial Mass 61

propagationem humani
generis ordinasti benfgnus

assfste: ut, quod te auctore

jungitur, te auxiliante

servetur. Per Dominum
nostrum Jesum Christum

Fflium tuuin, qui tecum

vivit et regnat in unitate

Spfritus sancti Deus. Per

omnia saecula saeculorum.
R* Amen.

Oremus

J^eus, qui potestate vir-
tutis tuae de nihilo

cuncta fecisti: qui dis-

positis uni versi tatis

exordiis, ho mini, ad
imaginem Dei facto, ideo

inseparabile mulferis

adjutorium condidfsti,
ut femmeo corpori de virfli
dares carne principium,

docens quod ex uno
placuissct institui, num-
quam licere disjungi:
Deus, qui tarn cxcellenti

mysterio conjugalem
copulam consecrasti, ut
Christi ct Ecclesiae sacra-

mentum praesignares in
foedere nuptiarum: Deus,

per quern mulicr jungitur

safeguard Thine ordi-
nances, which Thou hast
ordained for the increase
of mankind: that what is
now united by Thy au-
thority may be preserved
by Thy help. Through
Jesus Christ Thy Son our
Lord, who liveth and
reigneth with Thee in the*
unity of the Holy Ghost,
one God, forever ancf ever.

R* Amen.

Let us Pray

God, who out of noth-
ing didst create all

things by the might of
Thy power; who after
having set in order the be-

ginnings of the universe

and made man to the
image of God brought into
existence woman to be his
inseparable helpmate in

such manner that from
the flesh of the man Thou
mightest give a beginning

to the body of woman thus
teaching that what was
united in its origin should

never be allowed to be put

asunder; O God, Who hast
made marriage sacred by
a significance so sublime

that in the nuptial con-



62 My Wedding Day

viro, ct societas principa-

liter ordinata, ca bcnedic-

tione donatur, quae sola
nec per originalis peccati
poenam, nec per diluvii
est ablata sententiam:
respice propitius super
hanc famulam tuam, quae
maritali jungenda con-
sortio, tua se expetit pro-

tectione munfri: sit in ea

jugum dilectionis, et pacis:
fidelis et casta nubat in
Christo, imitatrixque
sanctarum permaneat
feminarum: sit amabilis
viro suo, ut Rachel:
sapiens, ut Rebecca:
longaeva et fidelis, ut
Sara: nihil in ea ex actibus

suis ille auctor praevarica-

tionis usurpet: nexa fidei,

mandatisque permaneat:
uni thoro

j
uncta, contactus

illicitos fugiat: muniat in-
firmitatem suam robore
disciplinae: sit verecundia

gravis, pudore venerabili^,

doctrinis coelestibus
erudita: sit foecunda in

sobole, sit probata et in-

nocens: et ad beatorum
requiem, atque ad
coelestia regna perveniat:

et videant ambo filios
filiorum suorum, usque in

tertiam et quartam gener-

tract Thou wast pleased
to foreshadow the mystical
union of Christ and the
Church; O God by Whom
husband and wife are made
one, and human society is
essentially ordained and
endowed with a unique
blessing which was with-
drawn neither by the pun-
ishment of original sin

nor of the flood; look

with favor upon this Thy
handmaid who now, upon
entering the holy state of

marriage, humbly seeks
the help of Thy protection.
May her yoke be one of
affection and peace; spot-
less and true be her mar-
ried life in Christ; may she
follow always the saintly

models of her sex ; may
she be dear to her hus-

band as Rachel was; wise
as Rebecca; long-lived and
faithful as Sara; may the
author of man's downfall
have no place in her
through deeds of his
prompting; may she ad-
here in all things to the

rule of faith and the pre-
cepts of Thy law; loyal' to
her plighted troth, may
she abhor all unlawful ad-

vances; may she gain



The Nuptial Mass 63

ationem, et ad optatam

perveniant senectutem.

Per Dominum nostrum
Jesum Christum Filium
tuum, qui tecum vivit et

regnat in unitate Spiritus

sancti Deus. Per omnia

saecula saeculorum.

R. Amen.

strength from the practice

of virtue; may her de-
meanor befit her state, and

her modesty inspire re-

spect
;
may she be enriched

in the knowledge of hea-

venly truth, favored with

offspring, upright ancf in-

corruptible; may she come
at last to the peace of the

blessed and the glory of

heaven above. And may
they both see their chil-

dren’s children unto the

third and the fourth gen-

eration, and come at
length to a happy old age:
Through Jesus Christ thy

Son our Lord, who liveth
and reigneth with Thee in

the unity of the Holy
Ghost, one God, forever

and ever. R. Amen.

The priest then turns to the altar and says:

J
IHERA nos, quacsumus

Domine, ab 'omnibus

malis praeteritis, prae-

sentibus, et futuris, et

intercedente bcata et
gloriosa semper Virgine

D™
L hee,

eliveu us, we beseech
O Lord, from

all evils, past, present, and

to come; and by the inter-

cession of the blessed and

glorious Mary ever virgin,



64 My Wedding Day

Dei genitrice Maria, cum
beatis Apostolis tuis Petro

ct Paulo, atque Andrea, et

omnibus sanctis, da pro-

pitius pacem in diebus
nostris: ut ope misericor-

diae tuae adjuti, et a

pefccato simus semper
liberi, et ab omni pertur-

batione securi.

Per Dominum nostrum
Jesum Christum Filium
tuum, qui tecum vivit et

regnat in unitate Spiritus

sancti Deus. Per omnia

saecula saeculorum.

r Amen.

Mother of God, together

with Thy blessed apostles
Peter and Paul, and
Andrew, and all the saints,

mercifully grant peace in

our days: that through the

help of Thy mercy we may
always be free from sin,

and safe from all trouble.

Through Jesus Christ

Thy Son our Lord, Who
liveth and reigneth with

Thee in the unity of the

Holy Ghost, one God,

forever and ever.

r Amen.

The Agnus Dei

The priest bows down and strikes his breast, saying:

A gnus Dei, qui tollis
peccata m u n d i,

miserere nobis.

Agnus Dei, qui tollis
peccata mundi, miserere

nobis.

Agnus Dei, qui tollis
peccata mundi, dona nobis

pacem.

J^amb of God, Who tak-
est away the sins of

the world, have mercy on

us.

Lamb of God, Who tak-
est away the sins of the
world, have mercy on us.

Lamb of God, Who tak-
est away the sins of the
world, grant us peace.



The Nuptial Mass 65

Lord Jesus Christ, Who art here present, I adore
Thee with a lively faith. All my hope is in Thee;

and I love Thee above all things.

Come, O Lord, to me, and heal my sinful soul. Feed
me, for I am hungry; strengthen me, for I am weak;
sanctify me, and deliver me from all sins, and make me
always obedient to Thy Commandments. Let me never
be separated from Thee, 0 my Saviour, but let me
always be united with Thee now and forever.

The Priest’s Communion

The third principal part of the Mass.

The bell rings. We say three times with the priest:

“T ord, I am not worthy that Thou shouldst enter
under my roof; say but the word and my soul

shall be healed.”

The priest bows down and consumes first the Sacred Host, then
the Precious Blood in the chalice. Unite yourself with the priest,
with an ardent desire to receive Our Lord.

Now prepare yourself by acts of faith, hope, love, and contrition
to receive Jesus Christ, Son of God Himself, in Holy Communion.
Beg Him for blessings on you and your spouse, graces for your life
that is beginning. Offer up your Holy Communion for a happy
and blessed wedded life.

The priest turns and makes the sign of the cross over the people,
after which he holds the Blessed Sacrament before them, saying:

T>ehold the Lamb of God, behold Him Who taketh^ away the sins of the world.
Domine, non sum dig-

nus ut intres sub tectum
meum; sed tantum die
verbo et sanabitur anima
mea.

Lord, I am not worthy
that Thou shouldst enter
under my roof

;
say but the

word and my soul shall
be healed (three times).



66 My Wedding Day

The priest gives Holy Communion to the newly wedded pair,
saying for each:

May the Body of our Lord Jesus Christ preserve thy
soul unto life everlasting. Amen.

Excite yourself to love and fervor. Jesus comes as your Wedding
Guest, ask what you will of Him, and He will grant it. Say:

Anima Christi

S
oul of Christ, sanctify me;
Body of Christ, save me;

Blood of Christ, inebriate me;
Water from the side of Christ, wash me;
Passion of Christ, strengthen me;
0 good Jesus, hear me;
Within Thy wounds hide me;
Suffer me not to be separated from Thee;
From the malicious enemy, defend me;
In the hour of my death call me;
And bid me come to Thee,
That with Thy saints, I may praise Thee:
For ever and ever. Amen.

O Jesus, I believe that I have received Thy Flesh toeat and Thy Blood to drink, because Thou hast
said it, and Thy word is true. O my God, my Creator,
I adore Thee because from Thy hands I came and with
Thee I am to be happy forever. I am but dust and
ashes, and yet Thou hast come to me, and my poor
heart may speak to Thee. Sweet Jesus, I love Thee;
I love Thee with all my heart. Thou knowesl that I
love Thee and wish to love Thee daily more and more.
I am sorry for all my sins; wash them away in Thy
most Precious Blood.

My good Jesus, I thank Thee with all my heart for
coming to me. I thank Thee for this my beloved spouse
whom Thou hast given me. How good, how kind Thou
art to me, sweet Jesus!



The Nuptial Mass 67

Jesus, receive my poor offering; Thou hast given
Thyself to me, and now let me give myself to Thee:

I give Thee my body, that it may be chaste and pure.

I give Thee my soul, that it may be free from sin.

I give Thee my heart, that it may always love Thee.

I give Thee every breath that I shall breathe, and
especially my last. And 0 my Jesus, I give Thee myself
united with my beloved spouse, that, one in Thee and
for Thee, we may be Thine in life and in death, till at
last we join the holy Angels and Saints to glorify Thee
forever.

0 Jesus, have mercy on us and bless us. Grant us a
happy wedded life, guarding mutual fidelity, and zeal-
ous for each other’s good and the good of all committed
to our care. Be with us, always, 0 Lord, and we shall
want nothing.

Most Holy Virgin, Mother of my God and Saviour,
recommend all these my petitions to your Son. 0 all
ye Angels and Saints of God, unite your prayers with
mine; be ever mindful of us, and obtain from Him, that
with you we may bless Him and love Him forever.
Amen.

COMMUNIO

~pccE sic benedicetur

omnis homo, qui timet

Dominum; et vfdeas filios
filLorum tuorum

:
pax super

Israel.

The Communion

Behold, thus shall everyman be blessed that
feareth the Lord; and
mayest thou see thy chil-
dren’s children: peace up-
on Israel.



68 My Wedding Day

POSTCOMMUNIO

Q
uaesumus ommpotens
,Deus: instituta pro-

videntiae tuae pio favore

comitare: ut quos legitima
societate connectis, lon-

gaeva pace custodias. Per
Dominum nostrum Jesum
Christum Filium tuum,
qui tecum vivit et regnat
in unitate Spiritus sancti

Deus. Per omnia saecula
saeculorum. R. Amen.

Postcommunion

TA7E beseech Thee, al-
mighty God, to ac-

company thy providential
ordinances with Thy gra-
cious favour; that Thou
mayest keep in lasting
peace those whom Thou
dost join in lawful union.

Through Jesus Christ Thy
Son our Lord, Who liveth
and reigneth with Thee in
the unity of the Holy
Ghost, one God, forever
and ever. R- Amen.

Having said Benedicamus Domino, or, if the rubrics require it,
lie missa est, the priest, before blessing the people, turns towards
the bridegroom and bride and says:

pvEUS Abraham, Deus^
Isaac, et Deus Jacob

sit vobiscum: et ipse
adimpleat benedictionem
suam in vobis: ut videatis
filios filiorum vestrorum
usque ad tertiam et
quartam generationem,
et postea vitam aeternam
habeatis sine fine: adju-

vante Domino nostro Jesu
Christo, qui cum Patre et
Spiritu sancto vivit et
regnat Deus, per omnia
saecula saeculorum.
R- Amen.

TVTAY the God of Abra-
ham, the God of

Isaac, and the God of
Jacob be with you, and
may He fulfill his blessing
in you: that you may see
your children’s children
even to the third and
fourth generation and
afterwards possess life
everlasting, by the assist-
ance of our Lord Jesus
Christ Who, with the
Father and the Holy
Ghost, liveth and reigneth
God, world without end.
R- Amen.



The Nuptial Mass 69

The priest then sprinkles the spouses with holy water, gives the
blessing, and concludes with the Gospel of St. John, unless the
rubrics ordain otherwise. After the last Gospel, he may read the
following exhortation, or say a few words of congratulations.

Exhortation After the Ceremony

Now that you are united in the holy bonds
of matrimony, offer thanksgiving to God for
the graces bestowed upon you. Those graces
will be inexhaustible, ever strengthening you
in the discharge of duties and responsibilities
imposed by the married state, ever inspiring
you to make of such duties and responsibilities
an unexcelled privilege.

So live together, as “two in one flesh”, that
each day you can make of your wedded life a
beautiful offering to God. That offering will
bring down more heavenly gifts for you, and
will be a pledge of your everlasting union
before the throne of the Most High.

Therefore I exhort you to guard mutual love
and fidelity, always remembering the words
of the Apostle: “Be subject to one another in
the fear of Christ. Let wives be subject to
their husbands as to the Lord; because a
husband is head of the wife, just as Christ is
head of the Church . . . Husbands, love your
wives, just as Christ also loved the Church,
and delivered Himself up for her ... in order



70 My Wedding Day

that He might present to Himself the Church
in all her glory” (Eph. 5:21-27).

(Turning to the bridegroom, the priest says:)

God gives you a companion, not a servant.
Love her, as Christ loves His Church.

Then looking at both, he may add:

Receive my heartfelt congratulations. May
God bless you on this beautiful day of your
wedding.

The priest leaves the sanctuary and enters the sacristy. If the
marriage has not been previously registered, the bride and groom
and their witnesses enter the sacristy for this purpose, which com-
pletes the ceremony. For the recessional procession, see page 73.

A Bridegroom’s Prayer

gracious Father, Maker and Preserver of heaven
and earth, Who in the beginning didst institute

matrimony, thereby foreshadowing the mystical union

of the Church with our Saviour Jesus Christ, Who in
the time of His ministry upon earth, didst honor matri-

mony with His first miracle; enable me, I pray Thee,
by Thy grace to live in holiness and purity with the
wife whom Thou hast given me. Mortify in me all
violence of earthly passion, all selfishness and incon-

siderateness, that I may love her as Christ loved His
Church, cherish and comfort her as my own body, and



The Nuptial Mass 71

have as great care for her happiness as for my own.
Grant that we may live in peace, without contention;
in unity, without discord. And give us, 0 Lord, a
competence of estate, to maintain ourselves and our

family according to that rank and calling wherein Thou
hast placed us, without excess of vainglory, in single-

ness and purity of heart. Grant this for the sake of

Jesus Christ, to Whom with Thee and the Holy Ghost,
be all honor and glory, now and forever. Amen.

A Bride’s Prayer

merciful Lord God, who in the beginning didst
take Eve out of Adam and didst give her to him

as a helpmate; give me grace to live worthy of the
honorable estate of matrimony to which Thou hast
called me, that I may love my husband with a pure and
chaste love, acknowledging him as my head, and truly
reverencing and obeying him in all good things; that

thereby I may please him, and live with him in all
Christian quietness. Keep me from all worldliness and
vanity. Help me, 0 Lord, that I may, under him,
prudently and discreetly govern our household. Let

no fault of mine be to him the occasion of sin; enable
me to soothe him in perplexity, to cheer him in diffi-
culty, to refresh him in weariness, and as far as may be,
to advise him in doubt. Grant that our perfect union
here may be the beginning of the still more perfect and
blissful union hereafter in Thy kingdom; and this I
pray, through Jesus Christ our Lord, to Whom with
Thee and the Holy Ghost be all honor and glory, now
and forever. Amen.



APPENDIX

THE WEDDING MARCH and RECESSION
The wedding march or procession is not an essential part of the

marriage ceremony. The gathering of guests may easily be limited
or entirely suppressed if a quiet celebration is desired. It is option-

al to have more or less ushers, bridesmaids, flower girls, ring bear-
er and pages.

The wedding procession is not a secular spectacle. All those tak-
ing part in a wedding should remember that they are in the presence
of the Most Blessed Sacrament in the tabernacle, and therefore
should behave properly as in the house of God.

Before making any arrangements on these points for the mar-
riage, the parish priest should be consulted. Not in all the churches
are there the same customs.

A rehearsal of the wedding ceremony is most helpful to determine
the position of each member of the bridal party in the procession
and the ceremony in the church.

The usual practice is for the party to line up at the vestibule or
church door in the following order: 1) the ushers, two by two;
2) the bridesmaids, two by two; 3) the maid of honor, alone; 4)
the flower girls, two by two; 5) the ring bearer; 6) the bride, on the
arm of her father or nearest male relative; and 7) the pages, if any,
holding the bride’s veil or train.

The following sketch shows the position of the bridal party dur-
ing the wedding procession:

Formation of the Wedding Procession

72



The Wedding March and Recession 73

The bridegroom accompanied by the best man, usually waiting
in the sacristy, approaches from the epistole side in front of the altar
rail at a pace that will enable him to meet the bride at the sanctuary
gate and proceed to their places in the sanctuary.

The following sketch shows the position of the bridal party
before the altar, during the marriage ceremony and Holy Mass:

Recession

At the end of the Nuptial Mass and usually after the priest con-
gratulates the new couple, the organ begins the recessional, and
the procession goes out in reversed order, that is, 1) the bride and
groom; 2) the maid of honor, alone; 3) the bridesmaids, two by two;
4) the ushers, two by two; 5) the bride’s parents; and 6) the groom’s
parents.



74 My Wedding Day

BLESSING FOR THE SILVER OR THE
GOLDEN WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

Mother Church is very liberal in her liturgy about marriage,
since those contracting it are or have been themselves the ministers
of the sacrament. If it should be their wish, on the occasion of the
silver or golden jubilee we believe there is no objection to have
some sort of procession when entering and leaving the church,
provided that proper behavior is observed in the house of God, and
that there be no diocesan regulations against it.

Before the Mass of Thanksgiving for the 25th or 50th wedding
anniversary, the priest goes to the married pair at the foot of the
altar. He then may read the following exhortation, or make a short
sermon, urging the couple to give thanks for all the graces and bene-
fits received during their married life, and to continue in the love
and fear of the Lord.

Exhortation for the Silver (Golden) Jubilee

My dear friends: Twenty-five (fifty) years ago you
bound yourselves by a most solemn pledge before the
altar of God. By that sacrament of matrimony you
accepted duties and responsibilities; but you also
received graces from the Most High, with the blessings
of our Holy Mother Church. I am sure that those graces
have been for you an inexhaustible fount, strengthening
you in the discharge of your duties and responsibilities,
and inspiring you to form out of your obligations an
unexampled privilege.

In the long period of time that has passed, you must
have received numberless joys; and very likely you must
also have felt sorrows. For man’s life on earth is often
bright, but at times dark clouds obscure the sky. Today
is one of your days of joy, for God accords you ,the
exceptional privilege of celebrating the silver (golden)
anniversary of your wedding. Let gratitude fill your
hearts; offer praise and thanksgiving to God, for all the
benefits He has granted you during your married life,



The Silver or Golden Anniversary 75

for all the happiness, and even for all the trials and pains
that must have drawn you closer to Him.

In the presence of God you are now renewing the
solemn promises you made on your wedding day; and
you are receiving the blessings of our Holy Mother
Church for the years that still remain. In those re-
maining years it is for you to continue in the love and
fear of God, so that, ever striving to know and fulfill
His wishes, you may both find eternal life together, in
Him.

After the exhortation, the priest bids the couple to join hands,

and gives them the blessing, saying:

T)ENEDICTIO Dei
omnipotentis, Patris,

et Filii + et Spiritus
Sancti, descendat super

vos et maneat semper
vobiscum. Amen.

ATAY the blessing of
Almighty God,

Father, Son, and Holy

Ghost descend upon you

and remain with you for-

ever. Amen.

The priest then recites the following:

Ant. T'cce sic benedice-
tur homo qui

timet Dominum.

Psalmus 127. Beatus,
quicumque times Domi-
num, * qui ambulas in
viis ejus!

Nam laborem manuum
tuarum manducabis, *

beatus eris et bene tibi
erit.

Uxor tua sicut vitis fru-
ctifera * in penatralibus
domus tuae,

Ant. toehold, thus shall" the man be
blessed that feareth the
Lord.

Psalm 127. Blessed art
thou who fearest the Lord
who walkest in His ways.

For thou shalt eat the
fruit of the labours of thy
hands: blessed shalt thou
be, and it shall be well
with thee.

Thy wife shall be as a
fruitful vine, in the inner
recesses of thy house.



76 My Wedding Day

filii tui ut surculi oli-

varurii * circa mensam
tuam.

Ecce sic benedicitur
viro,*qui timet Dominum!

Benedicat tibi Dominus
ex Sion, * ut videas pros-
peritatem Jerusalem om-
nibus diebus vitae tuae;

ut videas filios filiorum
tuorum: * pax super Lsrael!

Gloria Patri, et Filio, *

et Spiritui Sancto.

Sicut erat in principio,

et nunc, et semper, * et in
saecula saeculorum. Amen.

Ant. Ecce sic benedi-
cetur homo qui timet Do-
minum.

When the couple have knelt at
bear Mass, the priest continues:

V. Domine, exaudi ora-
tionem mean.

R. Et clamor meus ad
tc veniat.

V. Dominus vobiscum.

R. Et cum spiritu tuo.

Thy children shall be as
olive shoots around thy
table.

Behold, thus shall the
man be blessed that fear-
eth the Lord:

May the Lord bless thee
out of Sion : that thou
mayest see the good things
of Jerusalem all the days
of thy life.

That thou mayest see
thy children’s children,
peace upon Israel.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son, and to the
Holy Ghost.

As it was in the ^begin-
ning, is now, and ever shall
be, world without end.
Amen.

Ant. Behold, thus shall
the man be blessed that
feareth the Lord.

the prie-dieux where they are to

V. O Lord, hear my
prayer.

R. And let my cry come
unto Thee.

V. The Lord be with
you.

R. And with thy spirit.



77The Silver or Golden Anniversary

Oremus

/^vmnipotens sempiterne
Dcus, respice propitius

super hos famulos tuos,

ad tempi um sanctum
* tuum pro gratiarum
actione laetos accedentes,

et praesta, up post hanc
vitam ad aeternae beati-
tudinis gaudia, (cum prole
sua,) pervenire mereantur.

Per Dominum nostrum
Jesum Christum Filium
tuum qui tecum vivit
et re gnat in unitate
Spiritus Sancti Deus. Per

omnia saecula saeculorum.
Amen.

Let us Pray

A lmighty and everlast-
ing God, look down

in Thy mercy upon these
Thy servants who have
joyously come to Thy
temple to make their
thanksgiving to Thee!
and grant that after this
life they may, (with their
children), attain to the

unending bliss of heaven.
Through our Lord Jesus
Christ, Thy Son, who
liveth and reigneth with
Thee in the unity of the
Holy Ghost, God, world
without end. Amen.

The priest then sprinkles the couple with holy water, and begins
Mass, which should be the Votive Mass of the Blessed Virgin, if
the rubrics so permit. At the end of Mass the Te Deum with its
prayer is recited or sung, in thanksgiving, and thus ends the cere-
mony.

HYMN OF THANKSGIVING
Te Deum

Te Deum laudamus:* teDominum confitemur.
Te aeternum Patrem*

omnis terra veneratur.

Tibi omnes Angeli;*
tibi coeli et universae
potestates.

WE praise Thee, O God

;

we acknowledge
Thee to be the Lord.

Thee, the Father
everlasting, all the earth
doth worship.

To Thee all the Angels,
to Thee the heavens, and
all the powers,



78 My Wedding Day

Tibi Cherubim et
Seraphim* incessabili voce
proclamant:

Sanctus, Sanctus,
Sanctus,* Dominus Deus
Sabaoth.

Pleni sunt coeli et terra*
majestatis gloriae tuae.

Te gloriosus* Aposto-
lorum chorus;

Te Prophet arum*
laudabilis numerus;

Te Martyrum candi-
date* laudat exercitus.

Te per orbem terrarum*
sancta confitetur Ecclesia:

Patrem* immensae
majestatis;

Venerandum tuum
v e r u m,* e t unicum
Filium;

Sanctum quoque* Para-
clitum Spiritum.

T u Rex gloriae,*
Christe.

Tu Patris* sempitcrnus
es Filius.

Tu ad liberandum
suscepturus hominem,*

To Thee the Cherubim
and Seraphim cry out
with ceaseless voice.

Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord
God of hosts.

Full are the heavens
and the earth of the
majesty of Thy glory.

The glorious choir of
the Apostles praises Thee;

The admirable company
of the Prophets praises
Thee;

The white-robed army
of Martyrs praises Thee.

Thee, the holy Church
throughout the world doth
proclaim:

The Father of infinite
Majesty;

Thine adorable, true,
and only Son

;

Also the Holy Ghost,
the Comforter.

Thou, O Christ, art the
King of Glory.

Thou art the everlast-
ing Son of the Father.

Thou, having taken
upon Thee to deliver



79The Silver or Golden Anniversary

non horruisti Virginis
uterum.

T u d e v i c t o mortis
aculeo,* aperuisti ereden-
tibus regna coelorum.

Tu ad dexteram Dei
sedes* in gloria Patris.

Judex crederis* esse
venturus.

Te ergo quaesumus,
tuis famulissubveni,* quos
pretioso sanguine rede-
misti.

Aeterna fac cum
Sanctis tuis* in gloria
numerari.

Salvum fac populum
tuum, Domine,*etbenedic
haereditati tuae.

Et rege eos* et extolle
illos usque in aeternum.

Per singulos dies* bene-
dicimus te.

Et laudamus nomen
tuum in saeculum,* et in
saeculum saeculi.

Dignare, Domine, die
isto* sine peccato nos
custodire.

Miserere nostri, Domi-
ne,* miserere nostri.

man, didst not disdain
the Virgin's womb.

Thou, having overcome
the sting of death, hast
opened to believers the
kingdom of heaven.

Thou sittest at the right
hand of God, in the glory
of the Father.

Thou, we believe, art
the Judge to,- come.

We beseech Thee, there-
fore, to help Thy servants,
whom Thou hast redeemed
with Thy Precious Blood.

Make them to be
numbered with Thy
Saints in glory everlasting.

() Lord, save Thy
people, and bless Thine
inheritance.

And govern them, and
exalt them forever.

Day by day we bless
Thee.

And we praise Thy
Name forever; yea, for
ever and ever.

Vouchsafe, O Lord,
this day, to keep us with-
out sin.

Have mercy on us, O
Lord; have mercy on us.



80 My Wedding Day

Fiat misericordia tua,
Do mine, super nos*
quemadmodum speravi-
mus in te.

In te, Domine, speravi:*
non confundar in aeter-
num.

V. Benedictus es, Dom-
inc, Deus patrum nostro-
rum.

R. Et laudabilis, et
gloriosus in saecula.

V. Benedicamus Patrem
et Filium, cum Sancto
Spiritu.

V. Laudemus et super-
exaltemus eum in saecula.

V. Benedictus es,
Domine Deus, in firma-
mento coeli.

R. Et laudabilis, et
gloriosus, et superexalta-
tus in saecula.

V. B e n e d i c, a n i m a
mea, Dominum.

R. Et noli oblivisci
omnes retributiones ejus.

V . Domine, e x a u d i
orationem mean.

R. Et clamor meus ad
te veniat.

Let Thy mercy, O
Lord, be upon us; as we
have trusted in Thee.

In Thee, O Lord, have
I trusted; let me not be
confounded in eternity.

V. Blessed art Thou,
O Lord, the God of our
fathers.

R. And worthy to be
praised, and glorified for-
ever.

V. Let us bless the
Father and the Son, with
the Holy Ghost.

R. Let us praise and
magnify Him forever.

V. Blessed art Thou,
£) Lord, in the firmament
of heaven.

R. And worthy to be
praised, and glorified, and
exalted forever.

V. Bless the Lord, O
my soul.

R. And forget not all
His benefits.

V. O Lord, hear my
prayer.

R. And let my cry come
unto Thee.



The Silver or Golden Anniversary 81

V. Dominus vobiscum.

R. Et cum spiritu tuo.

Oremus

pvEUS, cujus misericor-^ diae non est numerus,
et bonitatis infinitus est

thesaurus: piissimae
majestati tuae pro collatis

*donis gratias agimus,
tuam semper clementian
exorantes; ut qui peten-

tibus postulata concedis,

eosdem non deserens, ad
praemia futura disponas.

Per Dominum nostrum
Jesum Christum Filium
tuum qui tecum vivit et
regnat in unitate Spiritus

Sancti Deus. Per omnia
saecula saeculorum.

Amen.

V. The Lord be with
you.

R. And with thy Spirit.

Let us Pray

/^V God, of Whose^ mercies there is no
number, and the treasure
of Whose goodness is in-
finite; we give thanks to
Thy most gracious Maj-
esty for the gifts Thou
hast bestowed upon us,
evermore beseeching Thy
clemency; that as Thou
grantest the petitions of

those that ask Thee, Thou
wilt never forsake them,

but wilt prepare them for
the rewards to come.

Through our Lord
Jesus Christ, Thy Son,
Who liveth and reigneth
with Thee in the unity
of the Holy Ghost, God,
world without end.
Amen.

N. B .— This celebration of the Wedding Anniversary
is to be used only for validly married Catholics who are
living a good Christian life.



FORM
TO BE USED FOR MIXED MARRIAGES

(The same form is to be used in marriages between
Catholics and indifferentists and public sinners, such
as Freemasons, etc.)

Unless with a special permission from the bishop, granted for
serious reasons, mixed marriages may not be celebrated in the
church, but in some part of the parish house or in some other con-
venient place. The parish priest, after having obtained of the
Ordinary the dispensation from the impediment of “mixtae re-
ligionis,” or “disparity of cult” and having complied with all the
requirements of canon law, may proceed with the celebration of
the marriage in the following form.

Exhortation Before the Marriage Ceremony

My friends: I hope that you have given serious con-
sideration to this step which you are about to take. I
trust that you have deliberated on the significance of
this contract which you now propose to make before
God. It is not of a temporary nature, because the bonds
of matrimony are indissoluble as long as both contract-
ing parties are alive. Our Lord Himself said, “ What
therefore God has joined together

,
let no man put asunder

”

(Matt. 19:6). This is the divine law.

By the marriage contract, you are accepting from
the hand of God Himself certain duties and responsi-
bilities. Be ever mindful of them, ever solicitous in the
discharge of your obligations towards each other and
towards those who may be committed to your care.
Some day you will have to render an exact account to
Almighty God.

In the state of life which you are choosing, you will
need vision and perseverance, wisdom and strength.
Days of trial are bound to come, when you will require

82



Mixed Marriages 83

all the faith of a true Christian in order to continue in
the security of a happy union. Implore, therefore, the
blessings of God on your wedded life. Those blessings
will be security for your happiness on earth as well as
in the life to come. Without God’s grace, all hopes will
only end as empty dreams, and the gold of expectation
will only turn to tinsel. For God alone is the Source of
all courage, and wisdom, and power.

Love each other, my dear friends, and live in the fear
of God.

The priest, without putting on any sacred vestment or ornament,
addresses the bridegroom:

N. N.
t wilt thou take N. N. here present, for thy

lawful wife?

Bridegroom

:

I will.

Then the priest asks the bride in the same manner:

N. N.
} wilt thou take N. N. here present, for thy

lawful husband?

Bride: I will.

The priest bids the couple join their right hands, and pledge
their faith to one another, after the following fbrm:

Bridegroom: I, N. N. t take thee, N. N. t for my lawful
wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for
better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and
in health, until death do us part.

Bride: I, N. N. } take thee, N. N., for my lawful hus-
band, to have and to hold from this day forward, for



84 My Wedding Day

better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and
in health, until death do us part.

The priest then says:

By the authority committed to me, I pronounce you
united in the bonds of matrimony.

Lastly the bridegroom places the ring on the third finger

of the bride's left hand , saying:

With this ring I thee wed, and I plight unto thee
my troth.

This ceremony finished, the priest may say a few words of
advice to the couple, as he thinks best, or read the following ex-

hortation:

Exhortation After the Ceremony

My friends: You are now united in the holy bonds of
matrimony. May you ever keep in mind the singular
holiness of the state of life which you have chosen,

in order that you may be steadfast in the loyal ob-
servance of your manifold obligations. Preserve mutual

love and fidelity, always striving to have understanding

prevail. “ For we are the children of saints: and we must

not be joined together like heathens that know not God
”

(Tobias 8:5). Be truly “two in one flesh", of one heart
and soul, in order that you may receive plentiful bless-
ings from God. If you are firm in the belief that He
is a merciful Father Who is always near to help you,
you will win over all difficulties. Then the happiness
that will be yours on earth will be a promise of ever-

lasting bliss in heaven.



FORM OF PROMISES FOR NON-CATHOLIC
I,N.N

:
. , .. ,

the undersigned non-Catholic, desiring to contract mar-
riage with N.N., ,
the Catholic party named in this application, before a
Catholic priest, duly authorized by a special dispensa-
tion from the bishop of

,

hereby promise in the presence of the undersigned
witnesses:

(1) That all children of either sex born of this mar-
riage shall be baptized and educated in the
Catholic religion.

(2) That I will neither hinder nor obstruct in any
manner whatsoever the Catholic party in the
exercise of the Catholic religion.

(3) That in the solemnization of my marriage there
shall be only the Catholic ceremony.

(Signature of non-Catholic.)

FORM OF PROMISES FOR CATHOLIC
I, N.N.

m

the undersigned Catholic party, hereby promise in the
presence of the undersigned witnesses:

(1) That all children of either sex born of my mar-
riage to N.N. ,
shall be baptized and educated in the Catholic
religion.

(2) That in the solemnization of my marriage there
shall be only the Catholic ceremony.

(Signature of Catholic;)

We, the undersigned hereby declare that we witnessed
the signatures of the above mentioned contracting
parties in their presence and in the presence of each
other, on this .day of the month of 19

(Signature of priest.)

(Signature of witness.)

85



QUESTIONNAIRE ON THE STATE OF
LIBERTY OF THE CONTRACTING

PARTIES

For the Canonical Examination

A. The Bridegroom

(The parties must be interrogated separately

The priest will propose the questions and write the
answers.)

The prospective bridegroom is to be reminded of
the sacred character and binding force of an oath
and then asked to take the following oath:

“I solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing
but the truth in answer to all the questions that shall
be proposed to me, so help me God.”

What is your full name?

When and where were you born? —.— —
What is your address?

How long have you lived at that address?
Have you lived in any other parish for six months or
more since you were fourteen years old and if so in what
parishes and for how long a time in each one?

What is ynnr fathpr’s namp?

His rpliginn?

What is your mother’s name?
Hpr rpliginn?

What is your religion?

86



If non-Catholic, indicate particular denomina-

tion

Were you baptized? *—When?_ —
Where?! :

Have you proof of baptism? (a) Check whether

proof was obtained by certificate ,

or by competent witnesses

(b) If not baptized, check whether person is a

Jew , or a Mohammedan ,
Neither .

Catholics are to be asked:

Did you receive First Communion?

When and where?

Did you receive Confirmation?

When and where?

When and where did you receive religious instruction?

Arrange for instructions before marriage if neces-
sary. Remind person to go to Confession and
receive Holy Communion before marriage.
Have you ever been married before?-

How often?

1 .

To Whom? When?

Where? 1 Priest, Minister or Civil Magistrate?

2.

To Whom? When?

Where? Priest, Minister or Civil Magistrate?

87



Proof of death of former spouse or of nullity of
former marriage must be obtained. Check
whether or not there is present the impediment

of crime

Are you related to your intended .wife by blood?

By marriage?

If a relationship exists please indicate the precise
degree by use of the genealogical tree at bottom
of page 90.

Are you aware of any physical defect that will prevent
you from fulfilling the marital duties of a husband?

Have you ever been treated by a neurologist or psychia-

trist or suffered any mental disturbance?

If so, how often? *

When ?

Are you marrying freely, i.e., free from compulsion or
pressure exerted by any person or circumstance?

Is your intended wife marrying freely?

Investigate and check if any of the following im-
pediments are present:

(a) Sacred Order

(b) Vow in Religion —.—.

—

(c) Spiritual Relationship * —.—„

—

(d) Legal Relationship —.—*—

—

(e) Public Propriety —
88



Explain the nature and essential obligations of
Christian marriage and then ask:

(a) Do you intend to enter a permanent marriage,
i.e., a marriage that cannot be dissolved by di-
vorce or any other way except by death?

(b) Do you intend to be faithful to your wife always?

(c) Do you intend to fulfill with the primary purpose
of marriage in the begetting of children, God

willing?, „

(d) Does your intended wife accept and propose to

fulfill these obligations?

(e) Do you know that the use of methods or means to
frustrate the purpose of marital relations is

sinful?

(f) Have you or your prospective wife the intention
of denying to the other the right to true marital
relations and the natural consequences thereof?

(g)

Have you or your prospective wife made any
conditions or reservations concerning marriage

or marital relations?—

Did you ever make a private or public vow?

What was the precise nature of the vow?

Are you a member of the Masonic Order? . . .
,

Knights of Pythias?
,
Odd Fellows?

any condemned or atheistic society? . _
89



If either party has not yet completed his twenty
first year ask:

Do your parents consent to your marriage
(If not, consult canon 1034.)

When do you intend to be married?

Are the witnesses to the marriage to be Catholics?

Have you fulfilled the license and other civil require-

ments ? : i

Do you now swear to the truth of the above answers?

GENEALOGICAL TREE
(give names if possible)

Consanguinity or Affinity

1° N ...
Stipes.

1° N
2° N 2° N
3° N 3° N_

Explanation

Signature of Bridegroom

Signature of Priest

Date-

90



The Bride

(The parties must be interrogated separately.

The priest will propose the questions and write the
answers.)

The prospective bride is to be reminded of the
sacred character and binding force of an oath and
then asked to take the following oath:

“I solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing
but the truth in answer to all the questions that shall
be proposed to me, so help me God.”

What is your full name?

When and where were you born?

What is your address?

How long have you lived at that address?
Have you lived in any other parish for six months or
more since you were twelve years old and if so in what
parishes and for how long a time in each one?

What is your father’s name? I

His religion?

What is your mother’s name?

Her religion?

What is your religion?

If non-Catholic, indicate particular denomina-

tion

Were you baptized?— When?

Where?

91



Have you proof of baptism? (a) Check whether

proof was obtained by certificate ,

or by competent witnesses
:

j

(b) If not baptized, cheek whether person is a

Jew , or a Mohammedan ,

Neither .

Catholics are to be asked:

Did you receive First Communion?

When and where?

Did you receive Confirmation?

When and where?

When and where did you receive religious instruction?

Arrange for instructions before marriage if neces-
sary. Remind person to go to Confession and
receive Holy Communion before marriage.

Have you ever been married before?

How often?—

1

To Whom? When?

t

Where? Priest, Minister or Civil Magistrate?

To Whom? When?

Where? Priest, Minister or Civil Magistrate?

92



Proof of death of former spouse or of nullity of
former marriage must be obtained. Check
whether or not there is present the impediment

of crime

Are you related to your intended husband by blood?

By marriage?

If a relationship exists please indicate the precise
degree by use of the genealogical tree at bottom
of page 95.

Are you aware of any physical defect that will prevent

you from fulfilling the marital duties of a wife?

Have you ever been treated by a neurologist or pshycia-

trist or suffered any mental disturbance?

If so, how often?

When ?

Are you marrying freely, i.e., free from compulsion or
pressure exerted by any person or circumstance?

Is your intended husband marrying freely?

Investigate and check if any of the following im-
pediments are present:

(a) Vow in Religion

(b) Spiritual Relationship *

(c) Legal Relationship

(d) Public Propriety

93



Explain the nature and essential obligations of
Christian marriage and then ask:

(a) Do you intend to enter a permanent marriage,
i.e., a marriage that cannot be dissolved by di-
vorce or any other way except by death?

(b) Do you intend to be faithful to your husband
always ?

(c) Do you intend to fulfill the primary purpose of
marriage in the begetting of children, God will-

ing? £

(d) Does your intended husband accept and propose

to fulfill these obligations?

(e) Do you know that the use of methods or means to
frustrate the purpose of marital relations is

sinful?

(f) Have you or your prospective husband the inten-
tion of denying to the other the right to true
marital relations and the natural consequences

thereof ?

(g) Have you or your prospective husband made any
conditions or reservations concerning marriage

or marital relations?

Did you ever make a private or public vow?

What was the precise nature of the vow?

Are you a member of any condemned or atheistic

society ?

If either party has not yet completed his twenty

-

first year ask:

Do your parents consent to your marriage
(If not, consult canon 1034.)



When do you intend to be married?

Are the witnesses to the marriage to be Catholics?

Have you fulfilled the license and other civil require-

ments?—

—

Do you now swear to the truth of the above answers?

GENEALOGICAL TREE
(give names if possible)

Consanguinity or Affinity

1° N
2° N
3° N

Explanation

Stipes.
1° N_

2° N.

3° N.

Signature of Bride

Signature of Priest

Date

The Priest will record the following:

1

.

Date and place of marriage

2. Dispensations granted

3. Delegation asked for or given :

4. Permission asked for or given

5. Date of notice sent to parishes of baptism

95



H>oubemr
of Our Wedding Day

Church of —

Date — :

—

Hour

A utographs

The Priest *— —.

The Bridegroom

The Bride

Best Man

Maid of Honor

Witnesses

96



Ushers.

Bridesmaids.

Flower Girl_

Ring Bearer-

Train Bearer.

97



Certificate of JWarrtage

®[)te Certifies ®bat

were united in

Holj> jWatrimonp

According to the Rite of the Roman Catholic Church

and in Conformity with the Laws of the State of_

at

In

Church,

on the,

day of 19

The Rev officiating

as appears from the Marriage Register of this Church.

Witnesses

Issued by :

Date

Quod ergo Deus conjuxit, homo non separet
(Matt. 19:6).

What therefore God has joined together, let no
man put asunder (Matt. 19:6).

U8



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Publications

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and School

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a

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OTHER BOOKS AND PAMPHLETS IN PREPARATION

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Order from your Favorite Book Store

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OR FROM

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1324 Fifty-Second Street • Kenosha, Wis.



NOTES



NOTES



NOTES



NOTES



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NOTES