t OA.D, PAk'';; ( c . 
. :Jt .•. 6l.<LC'if' .... , ru., IUwn'!r /I,.~ . 
A'P k "2. 0 S' (!~'1 ~ 

by DANIEL A. LORD, S. J . . . " ~ 





By 

DANIEL A. LORD, S.T. 

THE QUEEN'S W ORK 

3115 S. Grand Blvd. 

ST. LOUIS 18, MO. 



Imprimi potest: 

Peter Brooks , S .J. 

Praep. P rovo Mi sso uria nae 

Nihil obstat: 

Michae l J. Bresnahan 
Censor Librorum 

lmprcmatur : 

Deacfdiffed 

':< Joann es J. Glennon 

Archiepiscopus San cti Ludovici 

Sti. Ludivici, die 31 Martii 191:3 

Ninth printing , March 1948 

This booklet is an enlarged edition of 
the form er P?mphlet of th e same tide 

ANY FI NANCIAL PROFIT made by the Central 
Office of the Sodality will be used for the 
advancement of the Sodality M ovement and 
cause of Catholic Action. 

Copyright 1943 

THE QUEEN'S WORK, In c. 



· THE QUESTIONS THEY ALWAYS ASK 
Introduc~ng the Questioners 

These questions hdve all been asked me during the 
course of retreats. rhey are not personal questions-that is, 
the questioners did not present them to me personally. 

Instead the questions were dropped into a question box 
and were answered in the course of one of the retreat talks. 

So the people who did the asking are Catholic. They 
represent however boys and girls, young men and women , 
adults of various ages, and for the most part people of 
better than ordinary circumstances. 

That is why I was a little surprised to find that every-
where and always the questions were pretty much the same. 
Whether the questioners were men or women, high school. 
college, or university, alumni or alumnae, ,the laity at work 
in the world , the questions fell into easily recognized 
grooves. 

Of course ' there were occasionally the unusual and dif-
ferent questions. These lent an element of surprise and 
suspense to the more routine question-box questions. Some 
of the questions turned out to be rather profound. Some 
were highly personal and individual. A few were intended 
to amuse the answerer or to relieve the solemnity with de-
liberate frivolity . 

None of these unusual questions appear in this little 
booklet. 

I have selected the questions which are plain run of the 
mill. 

I chose them because I felt that there must be a great 
many people who want the answers to them. For if a ques-
tion box proved anything to me-beyond the fact that a 
great many people have a great many problems that they 

3 



want answered-it was that human nature is human nature 
np matter where you find it. 

Not a very profound observation, that. 

Just the same it may reassure a troubled soul to find 
out that other souls are troubled by the very same problem 
that vexes him. 

And despite the number or times that these questions 
have been answered, there are evidently thousands who 
are still posing them as if the questions had never been 
asked before. 

Frankly I confess that the answers given here do not 
pretend to be complete. Indeed I have in many times past 
devoted full~sized booklets to many of the questions which 
I have answered here within a page. You'll pardon a ref~ 
erence to my own booklets. At the end of this booklet I 
have listed pamphlets which cover fully the questions I 
handle briefly and most sketchily here. 

One thing however cannot escape any man who ever 
opens a question box. It is the age~old fact that the over~ 
whelming number of so~called difficulties against faith are 
not against faith at all. They are concerned with morals. 
The good man is already far on his way toward being a 
believing man. The man who finds himself assailed by 
moral problems is likely to think that . his faith is being 
tempted. The virtuous girl usually finds faith extremely 
easy. The temptation that comes to her in a form "tall, 
dark, and handsome" is likely to look like a frightful assault 
upon the truth of the Catholic Church. 

Once a man has lost faith, he is not so likely to be dis~ 
turbed by moral problems. Indeed the man who has stopped 
worrying about his morality has probably brushed off his 
faith-and vice versa. 

So though one comes to recognize that the Ten Com~ 
mandments are a wonderful safeguard for the Apostles' 
Creed , one must also reassure the troubled questioner. Only 
when you stop being tempted fiercely are you likely to need 
to worry. When your faith seems to waver, then is an ex~ 
cellent time for you to examine your moral conscience . When 



vice grows attra ctive, that's a first-rate time to make a strong 
act of faith . 

Needless to say, this booklet is not at all like the book 
that I regard as one of the most important books ever 
written. Years ago Father Bertrand Conway of the Paulist 
Fathers wrote .......... and bless God that he did .......... out of · the 
questions asked him by non-Catholics and by wavering 
Catholics his masterly book "The Question Box." I have 
my own personal gratitude to pay to that book. I have in 
the course of time recommended it to literally thousands . 

This booklet deals with questions asked by Catholics. I 
should be happy though if it served to remind my readers 
that Father Conway's "The Question Box" belongs , not in 
the library, but on the desk of every Catholic who even 
pretends to be educated . 

In the interval here are some questions that have been 
asked me. And here is the way that I have answered them . 

Christmas E ve 
1942 

5 



W hat is the best age at which a man should marry? 

When he is an emotional and a social adult. That means 
when he is able sanely to meet life inside and outside him~ 
self. to handle life with maturity and some measure of self~ 
reliance. 

When is that? 

That depends upon the man . his upbringing. his country. 
the age in which he is living . and many other factors. 

Do you think that young people today are better or worse 
than young people used to be? 

My answer to that is perhaps in the nature of dodging: 
Whatever they actually are . they ought to be better. 

I find it v astly annoying . to say the least . to run into 
these self~confessed historians of morals and customs who 
blurt. "The young people of today are no different from 
w hat young people w ere in the days of Rome or Greece or 
even of Babylon or Assyria or Egypt. They a re neither 
better nor worse. But let's not be hard on them. To the 
older generation the younger generation is always a mystery 
if not actually a menace .. History merely r epeats itself." 

And that I call the sloppiest kind of history . 
Have these supposed historians never heard of the com~ 

ing of Christ and the development of the Christian era? Ar e 
they going to suggest that life in Christian countries today 
(we prescind necessarily from the communists' and the 
nazis' deliberate submerging into paganism) is no different 
from what it was back in the cruel ages before the Savior? 

These happen to be Christian times . If young people 
are not insulted when they are compared with the young 
men and women of pagan. barbarous. and callous pre~ 
Christ days. they should be. 

The hideous things sanctioned then by a heartless . sel~ 
fish . godless or false~god society have been in the main 
abolished. We no longer go down to the market place and 
buy ourselves a cook or ask the selling price of a good 
gardener or an upstairs maid. We do not go to the Yankee 
Stadium to see men slaughter each other or prisoners fed to 
the lions from th e Bronx zoo . We no longer worship ob~ 

6 



scene gods and make a religion of imitating their worst 
vices. We do not believe that a filthy king is really an 
incarnate god. And if a ruler starts to act like a whimsical 
maniac, we in Christian countries can call out the electorate . 

This is a very different world, a Christian world. It is 
a world which has accepted in principle---no matter how 
far short it is in practice---the Ten Commandments and 
soft~ned the brute side of man 's nature with the principles 
and practices of Christ's lovely law. We profit by nineteen 
hundred years of experience with the personality and ex~ 
ample of Christ Himself. The glowing image of Mary has 
had its effect. The saints have not lived in vain. The nations 

, have called themselves Christendom and have built up a code 
that regards the rights of the weak, the reverence due to 
women, the care that must surround childhood. 

So simply to compare our young people with the young 
people of pagan lands and ancient day is ridiculous. Equiv~ 
alently that would be to say, "Our whole modern world is 
expected to be vastly better than the world was in the ages 
before Christ, but we can be content if young ' people are 
merely as good as were the youth of ancient Egypt, Baby~ 
Ion , Rome, and Greece ." 

Yet the answer is still not complete. 
Modern young people should be better than their fathers 

and mothers were in their youth. Whether they actually 
are or are not better, we can leave to their own consciences . 
That they should be better is plain from a few contempor~ 
aneous facts. 

To modern youth has been given the strength of fre~ 
quent communion. 

They have been part of the reopening of the liturgical 
movement , which stresses their royal priesthood. 

They have the invitation to collaboration with the bish ~ 
ops in Catholic Action. 

For them the Catholic~school system has been enorm~ 
ously developed . 

They have, been spared the perils of persecution and its 
rigors . They are the children of a C atholicity that has b een 
permitted to know the peace and freedom of these Unit ed 
States . 

7 



As Americans they have known amazing natural ad~ 
vantages. 

In a word. are we wrong to think of them as the favored 
sons and daughters of God? 

So when I am asked if they are as good as pagans are , 
I want to shout at the absurdity of the question. When I 
compare their opportunities with those of the people even 
twenty. forty. a hundred years ago. I can see their number~ 
less advantages. 

If they are merely as good as the young people of gen~ 
erations ago. that is not good at all. They have a right to 
demand of themselves-as we have a right to expect of 
them-that they should be vastly better. 

How can the Church accept money from eyil men? Why 
doesn't it inyestigate the source of gifts and decline 
them when the giYers haye made their money in ways 
that are not honorable? 

Do you suppose that this is what the pharisee had in mind 
when Magdalen gave Christ the gift of the precious oint~ 
ment? " Just think how she got the money with which she 
bought that perfume! " they may have murmured. in their 
beards. "How can He accept it?" 

If a gift from an evil man bound you or me-or a priest 
or the Church-to partnership in his evil. of course the gift 
could not be accepted. But then it would not be a gift at 
all; it would be a retainer. or a bribe. or an actual salary. 

But if the gift is given outright. why. I wonder. should 
so many modern pharisees think that the gi ft should be 
refused? 

It is possible tha t the evil man is sick of his evil and 
would love to get rid of his ill~gotten goods. How better 
could he dispose of those goods than to the poor, to the 
charitable works of the Church. to God Himself? 

Perhaps. though still bound to his sin. he has a real 
impulse of charity or mercy. Can we refuse him the right 
t o exercise a virtue just because he is guilty of many sins? 

It may be that his gift will give bread to a poor family. 
or education to a poor child. or a beautiful altar to the joy 

8 



of the faithful worshipers. Why not? Would you deprive 
people of happiness or good things by turning away money 
just because you disapproved of the way that the money was 
earned? 

In itself there is nothing more neutral than money. The 
same money can buy flowers for a mother or a tommy gun 
for a murderer , can pay for the cure of a sick child or the 
ruin of innocence, can build a house for God or an abode 
of sin. can be offered in gratitude to the Savior or be used 
to bribe a Federal judge. Money is, as we hear a thousand 
times, merely a medium of exchange. We give something 
to be used for something, but the thing in itself has no value 
outside its use. 

r find it hard to understand why sinners should not be 
allowed to use their money for good, why they must-
because the money was sinfully earned-use their money 
sinfully. Why can they not on occasion be allowed to 
practice virtue? Why can they not be allowed' to give their 
money to noble causes , for selfless, higher ends? And why 
can not a good man or woman be the instrument of the 
better use of money that has been sinfully earned? 

For my own part I do not find sinners notably generous . 
I do not see grafters pouring out their graft money on God . . 
I do not see the keepers of houses of ill-fame using some of 
their receipts to endow orphanages. Usually wealthy sinners 
spend their wealth as they earned it-selfishly. 

But if every time we were given a gift for some important 
religious , eduationaL or charitable purpose we demanded 
from the giver a clean bill of moral health and a record of 
just where the bills had been before they came to us, I'm 
afraid we'd have little time for good works . And isn't the 
attitude of the modern pharisee a little odd: that the doctor 
may take money to cure the grafter's baby and not ask that 
the money first be morally sterilized, and that the priest may 
not take similar money to be used for the good of souls? 

It all sounds a little carping to me. 

Is kissing a sin? 

This is probably the question that is found most fre-
quently in all question boxes. 

9 



The very fact that it is constantly asked indicates a 
s trangely troubled conscience. 

But let's reach our answer by a slightly roundabout 
route. 

A kiss is a sacred a nd lovely symbol used to express a 
deep and beautiful emotion . 

A mother kisses her child . A daughter kisses her father 
to welcome him home from the wars. Husband and wife 
kiss to express their unity of mind and heart. A witness 
in court may kiss the Bible to show his respect for truth. 
A grateful person may be moved to kiss the hand of his 
benefactor. In times past soldiers and knights kissed the 
hilts of their swords because these were the weapons they 
used to defend right. honor . and truth. 

A saint kisses the crucifix. Magdalen covered the feet 
of the Savior with kisses. E xiles have been so glad to see 
their native lands that they have thrown themselves down 
and kissed the ground. A romantic lover kisses the hand 
of his lady or the flower she tosses him . A son will kiss the 
locket that holds the curl of his dead mother's hair. A 
patriot will kiss the flag he lov es. A Catholic kisses the ring 
of a bishop in sign of devotion to the Church ; he may kiss 
the relic of a saint. The priest kisses rever ently the altar 
on which rests the Eucharistic body of the Lord . 

Undoubtedly a kiss is something sacred. dignified . and 
lovely. 

Quite clearly then in itself a kiss is not a sin . If it w er e. 
it would be impossible to explain why kisses can under cir~ 
cumstances like these be beautiful. impressive. dignified . 
sacred. utterly lovely. 

Now a new attitude has developed toward kissing . The 
kiss has become a casual and a careless thing . Too many 
ask . not "How can I k eep my kisses for the moment when 
they will be the symbol of something noble a nd fine?" but 
" How easygoing can I be about kissing? How prodigal 
can I be of my kisses? How fa r ca n I go w ith my ki sses 
before I actually commit sin?" 

And that is no credit to our mod ern mor a lity or customs. 
There is no slightest doubt in the mind of a ny decent 

m an or woman that kissing between unmar rie d peopl e be~ 

10 



comes sinful when passion takes ov er. Any normal person 
is fully aware that under certain circumstances passion was 
meant by nature to take over. The kiss was by God and 
nature intended to make men and women grow passionately 
excited. The kiss is under those conditions the normal and 
natural prelude to physical union . 

So to use a kiss to lead to all of this outside of marriag e 
is most assuredly wrong. 

But it's pretty shabby to measure our conduct entirely 
in terms of sin . 

There is something rather terrifying about modern cus-
toms that carelessly or deliberately go toward the cheapen-
ing of so sacred and lovely a thing as a kiss. 

Let's say that this boy takes this girl out for an ev ening. 
At the end of the ev ening, though he may never see her 
again, he expects her to pay for her entertainment with a 
kiss. ·· Why? 

This girl goes out with the young man she met quit e 
recently . If he didn't try to kiss her at the end of the even-
ing , she hurries to her mirror to see what's wrong with 
herself . r 

This young couple have nothing special to say to each 
other , nothing particularly interesting to do; so they fill in 
the dull interludes with counterfeit love~making . 

Yet this same kiss will later on be expected to signify 
a lot of important things. It will be the symbol of love be-
tween the young man and the girl he asks to marry him 
and to be the mother of his children. It will be the sweet 
sign by which the girl consents . It will be the lovely ex -
pression of a mother's heart yearning over her first-born . 
It will be the last tribute that a son pays to his dying mother . 

Even pagan nations are not this casual and careless 
about the kiss. The Japanese, certainly not of a notably 
high moral standard, regard as undignified , antisocial. and 
obscene the constant kissing manifested in the movies . What 
sort of new standard has made us think so lightly of an 
almost holy symbol? , 

Perhaps what we need is· a new attitude toward this 
whole question. We had better stop measuring our conduct 
merely by the question "When does kissing become sinfuli ' 

11 



A kiss is quite too sacred a thing to be thrown away on 
chance strangers. A girl should not be expected to pay 
with kisses for a hamburger and a coke. A boy should not 
be asked to prove with kisses that he thinks a girl pretty. 

It is human to be careful not to waste precious things. 
We do not squander our money on strangers. The salute 
that we give to the Flag we do not offer to low, base objects. 
Our attitude toward a kiss should fall in line with these 
other attitudes. 

A kiss was meant to be the seal upon a beautiful emotion, 
the promise of lasting love. It should not be the casual 
greeting of strangers, the stopgap when conversation grows 
dull , a cheap counterfeit of the noble , precious coin of true 
and noble love. 

What about "necking" and "petting"? 
I wonder whether our language can offer queerer, cheaper 

words. 
If you stop to look at this pair of words objectively , 

you have a desire to wince. "Necking" and " petting ," like 
their predecessor "spooning," are pretty repulsive words. 
And as nouns or verbs they are even worse . " He 's a heavy 
necker. " ... " She loves to pe t." 

Only the callousness produced by the constant use of 
these words keeps us from shuddering when we hear these 
vulgar expressions. 

God meant men and women to fall in love. Love was 
in His divine plan a prelude to marriage. He hoped that 
His sons and daughters W'buld know within marriage the 
happiness of love, the recompense of passion , and its re~ 
sultant in peace and strength and mutual joy. He hoped 
that from marriage would come those sons and daughters 
who would be the heirs of His eternal kingdom . 

All this was part of a divine scheme to unite men and 
women in the strongest of human emotions-love. To this 
union in love God meant to add His own divine love for 
humanity as He breathed into the body of human conception 
the eternal soul made to His image and likeness. 

But instead of making love something beautiful and dig~ 
nified , men and women , even youngsters , make of it some~ 

12 



thing cheap, furtive , embarrassed , an occasion for shame 
and obscene laughter. For the strong , welding love of a 
man for his wife they substitute-in their own coarse words 
- " necking" and "petting." They don't marry and find 
love and all ' of love's strong conseque.nces. They play 
around with masquerades of love. They become moony 
over this girl ; they get " a fierce crush" on that boy. They 
sit in parked cars and get mushy. They look on love, not 
as something constructive and noble , but as something 
dangerous and probably evil as they ask , "How far can we 
go before we kill the grace of God in our souls?" 

Perhaps never before in all history have men and women 
talked so much about love and known so little of its depths 
and heights and real meaning as they do today. Once upon 
a time men and women prided themselves on loving so 
deeply and truly that life itself was too short for love 's 
complete fulfillm ent. Now they fall in and out of their 
shallow puddles of affection half a dozen times in the cours e 
of a season. Love has become so thinly spread that men 
and women can actually fall in love with several people 
Simultaneously. 

Of course they don ' t really fall in love at all. No wonder 
it's calle.d puppy love and moon love and "carrying a torch" 
and "that way about ... " and "off his head about . . . " and 
any of the dozen other cheap current expressions. 

Yet all the while they run about expressing the signs 
of love in the most slapdash , vulgar fashion. They don't 
wait to fall in love and then express love in noble gestures . 
They make caricatures of love and ply it with all the signs 
due to true love. 

They say "I love you" to so many people and so often 
that the words mean hardly more than "It's a nice day , 
isn ' t it?" They misuse the sacred signs of love so shame~ 
fully that when a person who might have claimed their un~ 
dying love does finally come along they have nothing left 
to give , no emotion left to receive. 

We can with perfect justice feel desperately sorry for 
the youngsters who just in their teens begin to play at love 
by starting to "neck" and " pet. " They become physically 
as coarse , vulgar , and cheap as the ancient drinking cup . 

13 



In no time at all they are shopworn and manhandled and 
picked over. Before they are old enough for true love , they 
are sickened with false love. They are constantly going 
through little convulsions of juvenile emotion that they mis-
take for "the grand passion ." They are in everlasting small 
flutters of excitement over some pretty face or masculine 
muscle, until they aren't able to recognize true affection even 
if they meet it in the brightest light of a May sun. 

They are so constantly playing at love that they never 
ge t a chance to fall in love. 

Poor kids! Later on ope emotion slightly brighter or 
a pparently more durable than the others comes their way . 
They think , "Perhaps this is love. " But what is there new 
about it? They gave their cheap kisses easily and without 
meaning. The precious signs of love have long since be-
come so frayed and tattered for them that they are now 
emotional beggars. They must try to establish on emotions 
th a t for years they have been squandering and tossing 
a round and wasting in utter carelessness that sacred , beau-
tiful. permanent union that God meant to be marriage . They 
enter marriage emotionally exhausted, love-weary , doomed 
to the failure of life's great natural career. 

Not the youngest adolescent needs to be told that impur e 
touches are always sinful. The silliest giggler needs no 
b earded guide to warn him or her that it is sinful to arous e 
on e's passions or to engage in actions that arouse passions 
in others. 

But ar e these the only facts to be considered by decent 
people? 

A provident man does not spend millions on' glass beads . 
A brilliant scholar does not waste his mind on trashy " true 
stories." A great artist does not chalk silly figures on a 
brick alley wall. 

And a wise man and a decent woman do not buy with 
their God-given emotions a cheap evening of "necking " or 
a furtive hour of "petting" or fake love-making or the vul-
ga r imitations of love. They do not throwaway on people , 
they 'll scarcely remember by name a year from now the 
lovely signs by which a man and a woman prove that they 
love each other. 



They do not risk before marriage the whole future of 
their married life by playing around with love, caricaturing 
love, dissipating their emotions, growing cheap and common 
and vulgar in their display of easy affection. 

Men and women who love their own future keep their 
love sound and wholesome and sacred for the time when 
it will play its part in God's plan for the human race. 

Perhaps, they reason, God will give them the glorious 
vocation-as priests or religious-to love Him alone. 

But if marriage is their happy destiny , they mean to 
bring to it · clean emotions, strong unspoiled affections, an 
untarnished love. They will expect no less from their part-
ner who with them will make their entire future life and 
give to God His glorious and immortal sons and daughters. 

How soon do you think a young couple should start to 
"go steady"? 

Oh I'd say about three to six months before they expect 
to marry . 

Youth is the time during which God and nature meant 
us to make our friends, lots of friends. God did not mean 
that we should at that time tie ourselves down exclusively 
to one companion . 

Youth is the period when we have to learn how to get 
along with people, lots of people and lots of kinds of people . 
Hence the mistake of adjusting oneself and one's mind and 
pla~s to the monotonous association with one person . 

During his youth the person who has a wise eye on his 
own future grows in every possible way . · He learns to talk 
to a great variety of people, to make himself agreeable to 
different temperaments. He learns even how to dance with 
those whose steps differ from his o w n , to play cards or to 
take part in sports with those who, because they are dif-
ferent , can help him to be many- sided. 

The young boy and girl who settle down to .. go steady " 
with each other will discover only in the future what a 
crimp they have put in their natural development. 

They learn to talk only to one person. They dance w ell 
only with one person . They need not talk at all if th ey so 

15 



choose. They get none of that many~faceted development 
which comes from contact with various dispositions and 
backgrounds. 

And worse: The boy becomes lazy. He does not need 
to be clever or amusing or socially on his toes to please the 
girl he has collared. She belongs to him, doesn't she? and 
she can take what he hands out. The girl comes to be de~ 
manding, jealous, insistent on her exclusive rights. They 
drift along together at a time of life when they should be 
learning socially how to run. 

And what of the dangers involved in "going steady " 
too early? The two are thrown constantly together, almost 
as if they were soon to be married. Passion and emotion 
may grow between them with constantly developing peril 
and temptation. Or the opposite may happen: They may 
grow emotionally listless toward each other-the most awful 
possible prelude to marriage. 

The high~school boys and girls who "go steady" deserve 
our unstinted pity. Seldbm do they marry the youngsters. 
with whom they "go steady." Often they grow bored with 
one another, and yet they don't know how to break th e: 
bonds that bind them in boredom. 

Anyway what's the rush about " going steady " ? From 
the day they marry they will "go steady" for the rest of 
their lives. Why shouldn 't they use the period of their 
freedom and liberty to be free? Why should they bind 
themselves with responsibilities while they are in their te~ns? 

Happy the young man and woman who keep a wide 
acquaintanceship . . Happy those young people who preserve 
their liberty. The young man does not sulk when the girl 
is nice to another boy. The girl does not claw when the 
boy sees and is attracted by another girl. They are giving 
themselves a chance to develop naturally at a time when 
God and nature meant them to be foot~loose and fancy~free . 
They can improve their social gifts and learn the all~im­
portant art of dealing with a wide range of people. 

Sheer laziness and an unwillingness to act their age 
make young people fall into the slovenly way of "going 
steady" when there is no remote possibility of their marry-
ing. 

16 



Don't let any girl or boy cIa'mp a "Reserved! Hands 
Off!" sign on you. Time enough to "go steady" when the 
young man has placed on the finger of the girl the ring of 
their solemn engagement, or when the young man has said 
for all the years ahead a choked but sincere "I do." 

Do mixed marriages eyer work out? 

The best~informed priest 1 ever knew on the subject said 
~after a lifetime concerned largely with trying to salvage 
wrecked marriages~that the chances against reasonable 
success in a mixed marriage today were about fifty to one. 

All the odds were, he believed, stacked against such a 
marriage. He had become convinced that it was too big a 
risk. No gambler could take it. 

Another priest, who is by no means an extremist or a 
man given to vague and nebulous alarms, said that he 
believed that the day would come when the Catholic Church 
would forbid all mixed marriages, would simply never give 
a dispensation for a mixed marriage. 

Better by far , he argued, that some couples suffer from 
marriage being denied them than that so many couples be 
plunged into marriages that are doomed to be failures . 

1 repeat my own advice, from my own priestly experi~ 
ence with problems of mixed marriages: If you are thinking 
about marrying a non~Catholic , make a sincere Catholic out 
of him or her before you marry; you thereby increase beyond 
measure your chances of success in married life. Otherwise 
I fear for you. 

What do you think of drinking? 

God made the vine and the fruit of the vine. As He sat 
with His disciples, He drank with dignity and deep friend~ 
liness from the unconsecrated cup upon the table. The dis~ 
comfiture of a young bride in Cana led Him by His first 
miracle to turn water into wine for her feast . 

, St. Paul advised the use of a "little wine for thy 
stomach's sake." 

It is worth noting however that the Apostle advised a 
little wine and that he took it for granted that his old friend 

17 



and disciple, to whom he was writing, had reached the 
years when he was likely to be having stomach complaints. 

Few people have been hurt by what they drank in the 
protective wholesomeness of their own homes . There hav e 
been however exceptions even here. But when parents 
serve wine on festive occasions, their children drink with 
relative safety. If to commemorate a birthday dad shakes 
some cocktails and gives a small one to the children, no 
harm is done. 

Then as a person grows older and his powers grow 
wea ker , a little stimulant may serve to make him slightly 
less boresome, less dull. Old people are likely to find th e 
party a bit tiresom e and to doze by the hearth unless they 
have the artificial stimulation of a drink or two. Besides there 
are parties so dull and cc nversations so wearisome that only 
the false glitter of a cocktail shaker keeps the miscalled 
celebrants from screaming in pain or staggering off in a 
drugged coma. 

So drink can have its place . 

In measure it can be an added joy to a family party or 
to a pleasant gathering in a home. It keeps old people from 
remembering for a brief time that they are old. When a 
tired businessman faces a social ordeal which he just isn't 
up to , he may find the strain less rending if he is fortified 
by a cocktail. 

A mature person with a book and a glass of wine near 
his own fireside or in the companionship of congenial friends 
is a social symbol of relaxation and restfulness. Socially 
acceptable is the group of men sitting around beer steins , 
singing far more than drinking, loving the good fellowship 
much more than the mild beverage. 

But drink was intended to be a stimulant for conversa-
tion , not a substitute. It was meant to be an aid to a party, 
not the party itself. Like 'all of God's good gifts, it was to 
be used with dignity and self-mastery by mature men and 
women. Men and women were not supposed to find it a 
trap for their feet, a stutter for their tongues , a cloud for 
their brains, a snare for their souls. 

Time was when men were proud of their ability to 
" hold their drink." They would have been bitterly ashamed 

18 



of themselves if they found out the next · day that they had 
on the strength of a couple of mugs or glasses made fools 
of themselves, passed out of the picture, or slid under the 
table in a lump. 

But a new tradition marks our 'age. Young people are 
positively proud of the fact that liquor makes fools of them, 
that they can't "hold their drink." They brag about how 
drunk they were and the speed with which the liquor threw 
them. 

"Oh boy, was I ever pie~eyed last night! I can't remem~ 
ber anything that happened after ten o'clock." 

"Ohmigosh, what a head I've got this morning! I was 
boiled as an owl last night." 

"After that second highball, honest I can't remember a 
thing." 

"Powerful stuff. A couple of snifters, and I was out lik e 
a light." 

What is there about drunkenness for anything other 
than shame? Physically the drunkards were weaklings. 
Morally they behaved like fools. 

As a matter of cold fact young people have no more 
need for liquor than t4ey have for crutches. They have 
their· own innate vitality to furnish the power for a goo d 
time. When a crowd of them are together, song should b e 
easy, jokes should fly fast , their feet should fairly itch t o 
dance. They're not a lot of old codgers needing an alcoholic 
build~up . Their digestions are not so dulled or their minds 
so jaded that they must be stimulated before they com e 
alive. They have simply none of the excuses which make 
drink understandable in those very elders whom youth re~ 
gards with patronizing pity. 

Quite willingly I concede that drink within their own 
homes is for young people seldom a peril. The same thing 
is true of drink in the well~conducted homes of their family 's 
friends. 

But for young people to drink elsewhere is something 
quite different. There is something particularly sinister 
about a "snort out of a flask" in a parked car; the ancient 
excuse of prohibition no longer makes that understandable. 
Most of the places that sell drink look as dismal, dark, and 

19 



dank as the mouth of hell. The people who frequent them 
seem in large measure to belong right with the bats and 
o ther lower forms of life. 

Why can't drink be associated with family feasts? Right 
now it is linked with . water~front brawls, obscene laughter . 
animal pawing, taverns that are the old saloons with ne w 
names and the old fixtures . sick stomachs . bad breaths . and 
fiery headaches. 

That young man or woman is extremely smart who 
takes the pledge until he or she is twenty~one years old . 
An excellent reason for the taking of that pledge is to aton e 
for the sins committed today by young people under the 
influence of drink and to prove by their strength that young 
people can get along nicely without drink . There is some-
thing splendid in the examples of the young man and woman 
who simply do not drink. They are willing to forego legiti-
mate pleasure for the sake of the good example they give 
to others. 

Young people are wise if they always realize that drink 
for most young people is inflammatory. From the dawn of 
seduction evil men have known that drink lowers a girl's 
resistance and increases their own passions. Get a girl to 
drink , they felt, and the gates of her virtue were at least 
unbarred, if not open . 

So if young people are tempted , as by nature 's arrange-
ment they are during the days of youth , they are wise to 
put aside the added temptations resulting from drink. It is 
an easy way to solve some of their most severe problems. 

When they reach maturity , they should learn to use 
drink wisely~if they think they need or want to drink . It 
can be an aid to social life , a stimulous to high converse , a 
pleasant lubricant for song. a bond of friendship . But to 
drink just to be drinking, to have a cocktail patty just to 
drown the tonsils in alcohol. to use drink to lower one's 
modesty and decent inhibitions or to make evil seem amusing 
~these are indecent, inhuman . and unchristian. 

It's a wise rule always to see that ' drink has a com-
panion . 

Drink with good food is urbane. Drink with good talk 
may be excellent. Drink with a beloved book may be good. 

20 



Drinking alone is dangerous . Drinking with strangers is an 
affront to friendship . 

But always as a Catholic looks upon a glass filled with 
an a lcoholic drink, he should hear the cry of Christ, " I thirst." 
He may then put aside the gla~s in or der to suffer or sa cri-
fice a little w ith the thirsting Christ. He will then certainly 
not add to the torture that men 's drunkenness has caused 
the dying Christ. 

No Catholic ca n escape the misery that has come to the 
world through the abuse of drink. He can then be a source 
of strength to tempted souls. If need be, he will bra vely 
a bstain throughout a lifetime if by his abstaining he can help 
his weaker brothers and sisters to overcome their tempta-
tions and break away from the slavery of drink. 

How can you always do the right thing and y et not seem 
to h.e a prude? 

A prude suggests , by the very sound of the word , a 
person with his lips puckered in disapproval. He or she , 
we may be sure, looks at the world from down a long , 
slightly blue nose. A holier~than~thou look in his eyes makes 
the rest of mankind cringe. He isn 't necessarily good , but 
he is aggressively critical of the evil he finds in others . 

On the other hand a really good person is a most charm-
ing one to know . Often he is marked by a strong instinct to 
mind his own business. He lives happily with God and his 
own soul; he wishes that everyone knew the joy and strength 
of virtue . But he does not go around tapping people on the 
shoulder and asking , like a voice from the tomb, "Brother , 
are you saved?" 

He prays for sinners, but he smiles at them in friendli -
ness. 

He never stretches out a finger to point accusingly , but 
he is more than willing to reach out a hand to help . 

He never raises his voice to scold . When he has a sug-
gestion to make , his voice is gentle a nd kind and tempered 
with affection. 

A saint is a delightful person . A prude is a " pain in 
the neck." 

21 



So you can always be good and yet have people like 
you if you go about it in the right way. You can be holy 
as a saint and still cheerful as a seraph. You can keep the 
Ten Commandments and perhaps keep them better if you 
keep your sense of humor. 

In a phrase make it your life's rule not to go around con-
demning vice but to go about making virtue delightful and 
attractive. 

The plain fact is that people vastly admire a good man 
or woman. They recognize instinctively and from their own 
bitter experience the high courage needed to be consistently 
good. And they admire virtue because virtue is essentially 
admirable. 

Somewhere girls got the crazy idea that to be popular 
you have to be fast and loose. Nothing of the sort. The 
most genuinely popular girls are often those who grant no 
favors carelessly and who demand a high respect from the 
men they honor----and honor is the word----with their com-
pany. 

The young man who can always say, "Thanks; no; I 
don't drink," is not pressed or harassed. It's the fellow who 
takes a drink today and not the next day that bothers 
people with his apparent inconsistency. If his friends know 
he doesn't drink. he can take his ginger ale in peace. If he 
is known to be absolutely absteminous, he may be very wel-
come in a group that drinks. He is perhaps the one who 
sees the others safely home. 

Make virtue attractive, and make yourself attractive along 
with it. 

Good people have a sort of obligation to be smart, at-
tractive, clever, if possible well dressed . It's a shameful 
treason to leave these naturally prepossessing qualities to the 
evil of the world, so that in the worldling's mind goodness 
becomes associated with dullness. It is virtue that is attrac-
tive. Vice needs all the artificial adornments possible to 
hide its ugly , slovenly, stupid , shameful form. 

Naturally people do not like a prude with pursed lips, 
a knitted brow, and a voice just about to croak. "Stop that 
this minute!" That person is caricaturing virtue and making 
goodness despicable. 

22 



· 
But one can· be good with a smile, say no with a cheerful 

shake of the head , sing clearly and happily a clean and 
melodic song, and dance with feet that never lose their right 
to tread the way to the communion rail. 

Saints, canonized and far from the altar , always have 
something of the eternal winsomeness of Christ and Mary. 

Why does the Church bless only the woman at the nuptial 
Mass? . 

By the way, did you ever read that blessing? It is one 
of the most beautiful pieces of rhythmic prose that you are 
likely to meet in a long literary career. 

Now to answer the question. 
At the wedding ceremony, the actual marriage, the 

Church blesses both the husband and the wife. The cere-
mony is for both. The blessing is for both. The sacrament, 
which is the ultimate in blessings, is conferred on both. 

Then during the Mass the Church pauses. In our form 
and according to our custom both the bride and the groom 
come forward. But it is over the head of the bride that the 
priest prays. If you will read the blessing , you will under-
stand why it is for her. 

The Church looks to the woman hopefully. She is the 
fountain of life. Upon her goodness and purity, her fair 
fruitfulness depend that precious future of the human race . 
Oh yes; the part of man is essential and beautiful too . But 
with a sort of wistful tenderness Mother Church stands 
over this future mother and prays upon her all the blesSings 
that will mean peace in the home, happiness for her and 
her husband , strong children, long life in the land. 

It is a kind of special tribute that the Church pays to 
virginity as it stands in the moment of transition on the 
way to wifeliness. It is the high hope with which the Church 
regards the mothers of the race. 

Men and women unite in the production of human life . 

But it is woman's body that must tabernacle life and the 
w oman's arms that must cradle it. The Church seems to 
recognize all this when it pours out its spiritually poetic 
blessing upon the bride . 

23 



How can you handle a situation when things grow rough 
and evil and dangerous? 
The best way to handle any situation is not to let it arise. 

Let's say the young couple are going out for the even-
ing. They have nothing planned. They are just going to 
wander around. She has thought of nothing interesting or 
amusing to talk about. He is merely drifting. 

It is almost inevitable that trouble will come. Because 
they have nothing amusing or interesting to do, they will 
probably stumble upon something vulgar or evil. Because 
she has planned no pleasant subject for their talk, they may 
wander off into the gutters and alleys of speech. 

But let's say that he has planned a delightful and enter-
taining evening. Fine! Trouble is not likely in such a case. 
She has trained herself to talk well and to listen better. 
Excellent! Their conversation will not veer toward the gar-
bage heaps. 

Now that same rule is true of all social life. If one has 
a party and provides, let's say, cocktails and nothing else, 
the something else brought up by the party itself will prob-
ably be trouble. On the other hand when any program. 
however informal, has been set for the evening. no one has 
a chance to get into mischief. The party is not derailed. 

But let's say that trouble does start. What then? 
A real social leader, one sure of himself or herself. can 

soon deflect it. 
The first blue story has been told. He or she cuts in 

with a really amusing and decent story. The third person 
may hesitate to throw the conversation back into the dirt. 

The party grows rough. The leader has a delightful or 
amusing game that is decent as well as entertaining. He 
takes over and swings the party his way. 

Often music is the easiest way to deflect dirt. Lucky the 
person who from a piano bench has learned to dominate 
the course of an evening's fun. Smart the hostess who has 
a good gramophone with a supply of records that make 
possible dancing and entertainment. 

The last way in the world to stop evil may be a threaten-
ing frown , an air of austere disapproval, a how-dare-you-sir 

24 



attitude that tends to provoke the 'evil to further essays int o 
dirt and destruction . The skilled social person learns to ig-
nore a dirty joke as he would cover over the caterpillar that 
the cook carelessly left in the salad. He can swing a group 
from dull dirt to amusing, clean fun. He has a substitute 
ready to offer , whether it be a song, a joke, a game, a stunt. 
a clever remark. 

But all this takes practice, and that require s thinking and 
planning . 

Unfortunately . too many good people only wish they 
could control evil ; they aren't willing enough to do the think-
ing , the planning , and the work necessa ry for leadership in 
any line. 

Do you think that in time the Church will sanction birth 
control? 

What this question seems to be saying is: Artificia l 
birth control is wrong merely because the Church today 
says it's wrong. 

The Church did not write the law against birth control. 
It is a natural law , and it comes from the God of nature . 
Nothing can ever change that law. 

Artificial birth control is w rong for any number of r ea-
sons : 

God Himself in the Old Law branded it as vile. 

God forbade it because it was wrong in itself , with a 
wrongness that nothing can alter. God gave men and 
women a tremendous power, the power of creation. With 
this power He connected the pleasures of love . Love was 
a reward for the difficult work of bearing and rearing chil-
dren. To use then this power of creation merely for the 
pleasure involved and at the same time to thwart conception 
is a terrible evil. It distorts one of the most essential natural 
functions , a function upon which depends the future of the 
human race. And this distortion is brought about merely 
for one's own selfish pleasure. 

Besides this we have learned from bitter experience the 
sad consequences of artificial birth control: 

25 



It saps the future of the race. 
It cuts off mankind at its very fountain and source. 
It makes the birth rate drop so rapidly that nations 

slip down the scale of strength and run the chance of event-
ually eliminating themselves. 

It takes from sins of impurity the restraining fear of 
consequence. 

It destroys happiness in marriage by reducing the 
woman to the le\'el of a mere companion in passion. Divorce 
on a wholesale scale has been one terrible result of birth' 
control. 

It sometimes harms the nervous and physical system . 
For all these reasons and for many others the Church 

insists that men and women must remember the basic law 
of God and nature. 

But by insisting on this, the Church is defending the 
human race, safeguarding human life, protecting the home , 
and keeping women above the level of prostitutes. 

If the future is to be safe, we can thank the Catholic 
Church for fighting the battle of God's law against thos e 
who love pleasure and the easy roads of shirked duty. 

Doesn't the Church make a mistake when it insists that 
parents haye children eyen in poyerty? 

That's another mistaken idea. 

The Church does not insist that parents have children. 

It does not insist on young people's marrying. It does 
not oblige parents to have children. 

A married couple may certainly live in continence if they 
wish and if they so agree. They may for grave and suf-
ficient reasons practice for a time the systematic restraint of 
the Rhythm Theory. 

But the whole argument from poverty is ;~ mistaken ~ne. 
If it were a true reason , then the opposite would also be true: 
Birth controllers would be urging the rich to have as many 
children as possible. Clearly it is the rich rather than the 
poor who are notably childless. 

26 

l~~~ ____ _ 



If poverty is an evil, then it is poverty that should be 
eliminated, not human life. If the advocates of birth control 
were working as hard to eliminate poverty as they are to 
eliminate human beings, we might have a world of justice 
and right distribution. But they are taking the easy road 
of eliminating people. We prefer to eliminate poverty. 

You cannot do evil in order that good may come out of it . 

You cannot eliminate the human race in order to insure 
that the human race won't be poor. 

Why do modern parents ayoid teaching their childr.en 
about sex? 

Sometimes because the parents are shy. Sometimes be-
cause they don't know how to teach it. Sometimes because 
they think their children will be shocked. Sometimes be-
cause they hope that this in struction will be given by the 
priests and the religious. 

It is doubtful whether God and nature ever intended 
formal sex instructions to be given children, even by parents. 
Sex was one of those human , natural things which one 
learned in the atmosphere of the home. 

In most Catholic countries children learn to regard se x 
in that way-as wholesome, natural. related to marriage and 
children, and to be kept free from sin. 

But Puritanism established the tradition that sex is es-
sentially evil. Jansenism and Calvinism seemed to regard 
human nature itself as evil. corrupt, shameful. So people 
became furtive, shy, reticent about sex . They cloaked the 
whole matter in shame and secrecy. 

Catholic parents had better reconstruct their attitude and 
help their children to a sane, wholesome knowledge of sex . 

The pure, clean , natural atmosphere of the home is es-
sential. 

Parents would be wise to get a good Catholic book on 
how to give sex instructions. 

Innocence is not ignorance. Priests and religious are at 
best only substitutes for the parents , who are really the ones 
who should give their children the instruction and guidance . 

27 



We need young people who value purity, who know 
why it is precious and beautiful, and who have become 
aware of their own dignity as potential procreators-with 
God-of the future of the human race. 

How can I know whether I haye a religious vocation? 
There are a great many more people called by God to 

priestly and religious life than have the courage to accept 
the call. 

Sometimes they don 't give themselves a chance to hear 
the call. Sometimes they regard a vocation as something 
amazing, startling, thunderstriking. And all the time if they 
have ' a religious or a priestly call, it is the greatest good luck 
of their lives . The signs of a vocation are clearly before 
the eyes of anyone who cares to see them . 

Here then are the signs, briefly sketched. ' 
First the person must have the necessary qualifications. 

This means health sufficient for the religious life. It implies 
enough education to do the work demanded by the particular 
order. The person must be free from habits of sin. If in 
the past the person had such a habit but has overcome it, 
that past habit need not be an essential bar. It is wise how-
ever to talk this over with one's confessor. 

Very importantly it is not necessary to be outstandingly 
virtuous or to find piety or prayer easy and simple. Novi-
tiates and seminaries are established as places where young 
religious can learn the way of the spiritual life. They will 
study virtue, prayer, and piety there. 

The normal qualifications needed today for religious life 
are those of any good , wholesome young man or woman 
who enjoys life and has a body made healthy by clean living 
and wholesome sports and recreation , a mind trained to 
decent thinking and a fair grasp of truth and the ability to 
get along with people. Naturally the higher the qualifications 
of mind and body and heart, the finer the material they 
bring with them to the religious life. 

Second the future priest or religious should have a super-
natural motive for wanting to become a priest or a religious. 

It is not of course sufficient motive to want to rush into 
seminaries and novitiates in order to be sure of meals, of a 

28 



roof over one's head, of an education, of intellectual life, and 
of pleasant companionship. 

Yet a person may have what may seem a low motive~ 
the fear of hell , let' s say~and be said to have a supernatural 
reason. Many a young man or woman took the first step 
toward high sanctity when he or she r a n into the arms of 
God through sheer fear of losing his or her soul. Other 
supernatural motives are higher in the scale of dignity: the 
desire to be sure of heaven and eternal salvation, the fear of 
offending God amid the temptations of the world, an impulse 
to work for the salvation of others , the desire to become like 
the saints in love of neighbor and closeness to God, a long-
ing for the companionship of Christ, a pure and unselfish 
love of God . 

The third thing necessary is the aspirant's acceptance 
by a religious community or , in the case of the priesthood , 
by a bishop. 

In the amazingly rich providence of God there has grown 
up in the Church the widest variety of priestly and religious 
work. There are communities suited to almost every type of 
taste and talent. The many ingenious schemes for religious 
perfection are remarkably varied. 

Yet as a rule a person thinks of religious life because of 
pleasant association with some definite men or women re-
ligious, or of a priestly life because of admiration for some 
priest. This in itself may be an indication that one would 
fit well into the kind of life led by the person admired and 
respected. It is common sense then that the first thought be 
given to that community. 

With all the seriousness in the world I beg of you to 
think seriously of priestly and religious life. Anyone who 
has even a slight inclination toward such a life is cheating 
himself miserably if he doesn't give the impulse the fullest 
possible consideration. There is no other life comparable to 
religious or priestly life in the happiness offered or the useful 
work made possible. No cowardice, no difficulties, no diffi-
dence about oneself, no shrewd considerations for the futu're 
should be allowed to stand in the way of so glorious an 
opportunity. 

29 



Fortunate indeed is the soul who hears, how ever faintl y, 
the call of Christ. Happy the soul who feels the impulse to 
enter into such happy association with the Virgin Mother. 

Sometimes it takes more courage to accept than one 
naturally possesses. Often one treads to this high life a road 
that is like martyrdom. Within the priestly or religious lif e 
there will be hard and laborious living, days dominated by 
rule, the need to develop high virtue and strong self~mastery. 
But I have often told young people that really the hardest 
part of religious life is the step by which one enters it. From 
that point on Christ, given half a chance, takes over. He 
works day and night with the cooperative and generous soul. 

There is no other life comparable to that spent in happ y 
companionship with the Savior, in work for the kingdom of 
God on earth, in companionship w ith men and women dedi~ 
cated to the love of Christ, in constant opportunity fo,r 
personal worth, Christlike living , godlike achievement. 

HaYe you any adyice to giye people who want to discoyer 
or be 5ur,e of their yocation? 

Yes indeed. 

First they get a regular confessor a nd go to him about 
once every two weeks. They tell him that they have thought 
of the priestly or religious life and that they need help and 
guidance. They explain that they mean to come back and 
that they hope the priest will help them make up their minds . 

Then they go to communion as often as they can and 
pray constantly to God to give them wisdom and courage. 

They continue their regular work and life, whatever it 
may be , but make a definite effort to do this work as well as 
possible. If they have a job, they give it their best abilities. 
If they are studying, they work earnestly. 

They keep up a pleasant and wholesome social life. This 
is important, for future priests and religious seldom are des~ 
tined for hermitages or anchorholds. 

Each night and morning at prayer they remind God of 
their uncertainty and ask for guidance. 

In an amazingly short time they know exactly what God 
wants. 

30 



Then they may need further counsel from their priest 
director and help from God to get the courage to follow 
God's splendid invitation. 

When would you advise a young man to enter the re-
ligious life or the seminary? 

No one can possibly give a blanket answer to that ques~ 
tion. Too many factors enter in. 

The person who sh ould make the decision for the in~ 
dividual is that confessor to whom he ha,s talked and in 
whom he has confidence. 

These days a young man is usually ripe for the novitiate 
when he has completed high school-and a little more. Th e 
same is usually true of preparation for the major seminary. 

A young man with a strong vocation that is under the 
watchful eye of a good confessor may finish college befor e 
he enters the seminary. Often this gives him an experience 
and maturity which are reflected in a richer, more effective 
later life. If however the young man feels that for any of a 
thousand reasons his vocation is slipping, he should honestl y 
tell his confessor and act on the confessor 's advice. 

The voice of the spiritual director is likely to be the voice 
of God in the selection of the right time. 

W hen do you t'!ink a girl should enter the convent? 

Here again the girl should settle this question with her 
regular confesspr or spiritual director. 

It may well be that the maturity we hope for in young 
religious will not be gained by the girl until she has com-
pleted a full high~school course. Weare thinking of course 
of the time element, not of the educational question. In 
addition many a nun is glad that she finished college and 
entered religious life with her degree in her hand. 

But this is largely a matter of the individual girl. All th e 
education '" girl can take with her into religious life is im -
mensely valuable. 

Yet if she feels that she ·,is risking her vocation if she 
stays out and finishes her college education, she should talk 

31 



this matter over with her confessor. He will probably advise 
her to enter promptly. 

In the case of either a boy or a girl however it is often 
risking a vocation to stay out in the world for a few years 
just to earn some money. Literally thousands of vocations 
are lost in this way. The independence that comes with the 
earning of money, the new associations of the business world . 
the formation of connections that are not easy to break make 
later entrance difficult. often impossible. 

The ultimate general answer can be only this : Enter 
when God wants you and circumstances are such that your 
confessor says, " Now is the time ." 

My mother and fath.er do not ' want me to become are· 
ligious. What shall I do? 

(This same question is often asked by young men who 
are thinking of the priesthood.) 

When a mother and a father depend for the actua l es -
sentials of life upon the financial help of a son or a daughter , 
no religious order would think of accepting him or her. Such 
children have a duty to their parents , and they must put 
as ide, however reluctantly, the desire for vocation and fulfill 
their obligation. But there must be a real financial need , not 
merely the desire of parents to live more spaciously or 
actually to retire upon the earnings of their children. 

We must always remember that each · generation lives 
for the generation that follows. It is unfair and unjust for 
parents to thwart out of selfishness the rightful development 
of their children. 

So if parents object to their children's vocations for any 
of a thousand specious, silly, capricious , and selfish reasons , 
they are going far outside their rights. The children should 
talk the matter over with their confessor and follow his 
advice. 

There is something tragic about those parents who get 
between their children and God. For that matter with the 
years one grows to marvel at the temerity of parents who 
get between their children and any of the children's decent 
ambitions or right development. How people dare to play 

32 



God and decide what they think the future of their children 
should be is a little difficult to understand. 

The parents die; and the children live on, often with lives 
twisted and warped by parental selfishness. Parents force 
their children into work for which they are not suited. They 
jockey them into marriages or keep them from marriages on 
the basis of their own whims. They push them into ways of 
life that they walk only with pain and stumbling. 

Of course parents have every possible right to advise and 
suggest. They are obliged to provide all the education they 
can decently afford for their children and give them the fine 
Catholic home which is their right. 

But when children are settling their future careers, and 
when God enters with His highly flattering call, any father 
and mother with faith and a regard for God's rights will 
bow to His will. 

Lucky the parents who are honored with a son called to 
the priesthood or a son or a daughter invited to the religious 
life. Their own reward from God is assured and great. 
Stupid and un~Catholic are the parents who block through 

, selfishness or the lack of spiritual vision the way that opens 
for their son or daughter to altar or cloister. 

They will live to regret their greed or stupidity in the 
unhappiness of their children and their own loss of God's 
blessings. 

God and the future will be generous only to those parents 
who deal generously with their children and with Him. And 
parental happiness and merit are high' indeed when parents 
give their son or daughter to the service of God and the 
salvation of immortal souls. 

Why do you talk constantly either of marriage or of the 
priestly and religious life? Isn't there a third state, 
virginity in the 'World? Can't I rightly d.esire and 
ambition it? 

Yes ; virginity in the world is a third state in life. 

Many a saintly man and woman live and have during the 
course of history lived in that state. Many of them are doing 
heroic things for others. There is for instance the generous 

33 



aunt who lives and works and plans for the children who 
are not her own. There is the fine young son who never 
marries so that he can take care of his parents in their old 
age. There is the person who devotes himself to some special 
career which can be handled more effectively by an unmarried 

. person. 

God will certainly bless those who lead what are un~ 
doubtedly heroic lives. 

The fact is that this kind of life is so heroic that a person 
is not as a rule wise deliberately to plan for and choose it. 
Without the most expert spiritual advice it is unwise to de~ 
cide, "It is my vocation to remain a virgin in the world, with~ 
out marriage, without religious life." For it is a life that 
demands high heroism. 

Around it are none of the greater protections and few of 
the consolations of virginity in the sanctuary or in the 
cloister. Life in this career almost surely grows more lonely 
with the years. Seldom enough do those who profit most by 
the unselfishness of these generous people show a warming 
gratitude and a compensating love. The old people that are 
cared for by such unmarried men and women in the world . 
are full of complaints. The young people reared by these 
selfless men and women respond with thoughtless ingrati~ 
tude, if not with sheer selfishness. 

Normally God asks people to marry or to enter His 
service directly. The third . vocation is often forced upon 
people, who can then .become great saints by accepting their 
careers generously and laboriously. But they are not wise 
to set their faces toward this life out of any reasons other 
than those forced upon them by God or sanctioned by a wise 
director. 

Certainly bachelorhood merely for the sake of more 
spending money and greater freedom from responsibility is 
no noble career. 

Why are priests and sisters so rem.ote from us? Why 
don't they associate more closely wit" us who live in 
the world? Priests and nuns shouldbe"utterly other-
worldly. Why are some of them so much interested 

34 



in the things that belong more properly to us who 
liye in th.e world? 

I place both the questions at the same time because they 
make clear the old cynical statement : "Damned if you do ; 
damned if you don't." I can 't say that the questions are 
very frequent in my experience. A questioning look how-
ever , a glance that says either, " Why don't you?" or "Why 
do you ?" is not so infrequent. 

We withdraw from the world and from the things th a t 
are of the world in order to give ourselves solely to th e 
things that mattered to Christ. We want to belong to God. 
We want to be about our Fatheu's business . 

We return to the world because we are not solitaries in 
the d esert or contemplatives. We must seek souls where 
souls are to be found. We must look for the lost sheep 
w here jt is likely that the sheep are lost. And those plac es 
are not cloistered or usually redolent of in cense . 

So it w ould seem th a t , how ever you look at it, w e 
r eligious a nd priests have a somewhat difficult time pleasing 
the public. (May I with all deference and with no intention 
towards ambitious comparisons say that Christ here had a 
hard time too?) If we abstain too much from human society , 
if we love our sanctuaries and cloisters too much , w e a r e 
subject to criticism. If we seem not to love people enough . 
we are subject to criticism. If we are unworldly , we run th e 
chance of being regarded as a little odd . If we seem slightly 
w orldly, we run the battery of raised eyebrows. 

The fact is that we are set aside, and we are different , 
and we cannot and would not deny it. Weare consecrated 
to God. We belong to an army whose headquarters are in 
another world. and we are involved with interests that are , 
like the interests of Christ . not of this ~orld. W e cannot 
be exactly as others are. 

Yet we must live in the world; we must w ork for the 
world: we must speak the language of the world-to some 
extent; we must know the problems of today, and have our 
hands scratched by the briars (if the sheep are entangled) , 
and splash our habits and cassocks with mud (if the sinner 
has fallen into the gutter). 

35 



Forgive us if. since we are human beings ~ however 
strong in us ~he grace of God~we sometimes love the peace 
of our holy houses. Forgive us if in a zeal that is not always 
supremely wise we have to follow the sinner in ways that 
are dark and along paths that for the time seem not to be 
leading upward . 

What shall I say or do when people tell me that Catholics 
are narrow-minded? 

Perhaps you're just as smart if you smile and admit that 
they probably are narrow-minded. 

Everyone who really believes in something important is 
likely to be narrow-minded about it. Mathematicians are 
unblinkingly narrow-minded about the multiplication tables . 
Doctors are not one bit broad-minded about quacks and the 
witch doctors of the African jungles. Bankers are not at all 
broad-minded about thieves. forgers . and counterfeiters. 

Catholics are as a rule kind and gentle in their dealings 
with non-Catholics. It took the Catholics of Eire to elect 
a Protestant to the presidency of Ireland at the very time 
that the Protestants of Ulster were yelling loudest. "To hell 
with the Pope!" We Catholics do not believe that anything 
is to be gained by our forcing our religion on anyone. We 
do not think that you can beat and dragoon people into be-
lieving in and loving Jesus Christ. 

But when someone suggests to us that Protestantism . 
which is only part of Christ's teachings. is as good as Cath-
olicity. which is the entire sum of His principles and practice. 
he can hardly expect us to be broad-minded. in smiling 
agreement. 

We do not think it liberal or bright to trade Christ's 
seven sacraments for three sacraments. or two. or one. We 
do not intend to swap the rock of Peter for the uncounted 
sands of the disunited churches. We do not consider it a 
good business to barter the infallibility of Christ's represen -
tative for the infallibility of every man who picks up a Bible 
or propounds a personal religion full of contradictions and 
historic naivete. 

If this is narrow-mindedness, then we Catholics are con-
fessedly narrow-minded . And it's a very reassuring state of 

36 



mind in which to be . Christ loved all men . But H e was so 
narrow~minded about truth that He died rather than re~ 
linquish it. And when disciples left Him because he wouldn't 
whittle down His truth, He watched them go a nd made no 
gesture to recall them. 

When ask,ed by a non-Catholic why you belieye that your 
religion is the only true religion, can you answer him 
in a few words? 

A few words is a sma ll wrapping for the vastness of 
Catholic truth . 

Try this however for a partia l answer: 
I believe in the Catholic Church because it is the only 

Church that goes back to Christ and the Apostles. All other 
churches began later, at a date in most cases clearly marked 
in history, too late to connect them w ith the founders of 
Christ's Church. 

I believe in the Catholic Church just because it is 
Catholic. The Greek word Catholicos means complete. The 
Catholic Church teaches completely everything that Christ 
taught, does all that Christ commanded, and rea ches out to 
draw "every creature" into the " one fold ," of which He is 
t he shepherd. 

I believe in the Catholic Church because all that it 
teaches is wonderfully beautiful and consoling . Its truths 
a re exactly what the human heart has wanted to know. It 
gives its members intellectual security and deep happiness. 

I believe in the Catholic Church because never once 
in the course of its history has it made a doctrinal mistake . 
Teaching openly for almost twenty centuries, it has never 
been forced to go back on its teachings and confess, " Now 
that time I was wrong; what I taught has turned out to be 
wrong, and I take it back." There is no other institution in 
a ll history that holds that position . 

I believe in the Catholic Church because, while other 
religions rise , change, fade , disappear , it goes its serene, un~ 
c hanging way. 

I believe in the Catholic Church because it alone is the 
mother of saints . 

37 



I believe in the Catholic Church b eca use it is and has 
been hated by all the "right" people. 

I believe in the Catholic Church because it is the 
Mystical Body of Christ speaking His words, repeating His 
acts , loving what He loved , hating what He hated , carrying 
out His commands until the end of the world. 

But after you have said all this , you will need to do a lot 
of amplifying and illustrating. Of course a n educated Cath-
olic should be prepared to do that too. 

Maya Catholic go to a Protestant church if he goes to 
his own church too? 

No . Christ established one Church, His C hurch . He did 
not establish churches . Certainly He didn't start those 
churches which began centuries after He laid the foundations 
of His Church on Peter the rock . Surely He cannot be ac-
cused of teaching the contradictory things taught by the dis-
sonant a nd disagreeing Protestant sects. 

Christ estab li shed one way in wh ich God was to be 
honored. We do not honor God when we worship Him in 
a way He does not recognize as Hi s Son's. 

So there is one and only one true Chur~h. 

Christ commanded everyone to hear that. Church . He 
prayed that all would enter that Church so that there would 
be "one fold and one shepherd." He asked that we might 
all " be one, as thou , Father, in me , and I in thee ." He did 
not wflnt the Christian world divided into innumerable diver-
gent religions, each going its own human and hesitant way. 

For a Catholic to go to any other church but the Catholic 
Church is first of all a waste of time. If what this other 
church teaches is true, it got that truth from the Catholic 
Church. If what it teaches is not taught in the Catholic 
Church, it is not true. 

For a Catholic to go to any other church is to thwart 
the commands of Christ. When we do this, we help divide 
Christ's flock into separate sheepfolds. We cut up the Mys-
tical Body int<1 warring parts. We split the Church intq 
discordant churches. Surely God does not want this. 

38 



The Catholic Church teaches all that Christ taught, does 
a ll that He commanded, believes all that He gave us to be-
l ieve, preserves all His commandments , and carries on His 
worship of His Father. For a Catholic to go to any other 
-church is to act as if Christ's Church were not sufficient 
a nd His plans for our salvation not enough . 

May we go to non-Catholic churches for weddings and 
funerals? 

Yes-except in those dioceses in which such attendance 
is forbidden. 

Also we may not go if we know that our attendance 
would cause scandal to people seeing a Catholic in a non-
Catholic church. 

But as a rule attendance at a non-Catholic funeral is 
merely an act of friendship , and attendance at a non-Cath-
olic wedding is the taking part in a social function. What is 
forbidden to Catholics is their participation in a false or in-
adequate or incomplete or humanly- instituted worship of 
God. We may attend a non-Catholic funeral to sympathize 
with our friends and honor the dead; we may attend a non-
Catholic wedding to rejoice with them. 

What about the Catholic churches which f.eature bingo 
and games of chance that amount to gambling? 

In some dioceses all these are explicitly forbidden . 
In many cases such activities cause grave scandal to 

others, especially when these games are forbidden by city 
law. 

But sometimes we can wonder just how justified is the 
scandal taken. 

The whole question of gambling really is involved, and 
gambling is not necessarily always wrong. 

Naturally enough it is wrong to g~mble money that one 
cannot afford to lose, or to risk money that is needed for the 
care of one's family. 

Crooked gambling is wrong , not because it is gambling , 
but because it is crooked. 

39 



But where one can afford some slight risk , where one is 
not doing harm to others, where the stakes and the play are 
really part of one 's recreation and social life, gambling is 
not of its very nature evil. 

On a certain occasion when a Protestant minister de~ 
nounced gambling in all forms, he was asked if he believed 
in the Bible. He replied that of course he did. Then he was 
asked where in the Bible all gambling was forbidden. Ap~ 
parently he is still looking for the place. 

It would be wonderful however if all these slightly un~ 
dignified and sometimes scandal~giving forms of money~ 
collecting could be eliminated. That would be easily possible 
were Catholics as generous to their church as they should 
be. If those Catholics who complain of bingo increased their 
contributions to their church , bingo under church auspices 
might easily be foregone. And if people were as ready to put 
their money into the collection basket as they are to risk 
money on charity lotteries , there would be no financial prob-
lem in any Catholic church. 

But perhaps that is a dreamworld , far from reality. 

Why can't Catholics become Masons? 

Masonry is another religion~and a complete one, qC~ 
cording to the Masons. 

I t has its rites of initiation and of burial, its creed , cult , 
and code. It worships God in a form entirely its own. It 
offers to its members a religion which many of them regard 
as complete enough to need no supplementing by another 
church. 

Hence one can no more be a Catholic and a Mason than 
one can be a Catholic and a Jew, a Catholic and a Methodist. 

In many European and Latin~American countries Ma~ 
sonry is frankly and Violently anti~Catholic. Its war on the 
Church has been carried on at times quite openly, at times 
with clever secrecy . 

In America such open hostility is not often the case . 
Catholics and individual Masons live in friendly relationship. 
Even here however Masonry has opposed the parochial 
schools. It regards itself as an international organization 

40 



that rightly takes precedence over the international Catholic 
Church. 

There is something very sad about the Cat!lOlic who gives 
up his religion for the sake of business advantages he gains 
through Masonry. It shows an entirely false sense of value s. 
a complete loss of faith in the eternal rewards of heaven. 

Maya Catholic marry a non-Catholic who has been mar-
ried to and diyorced from another non-Catholic? 
There is only one answer that can be given to this ques~ 

tion and to a thousand others like it that regard marriage: 
Take the entire case to your parish priest . and go over it 
thoroughly with him. 

No one can possibly give an immediate decision on a 
question like the one stated here. Too many circumstances 
affect the validity of marriage. Too many conditions need 
to be explained and studied. 

In general however a Catholic is wise to take it for 
granted that the marriage of non-Catholics is a valid one . 
The normal legislation of the Church so regards it. A Cath~ 
olic is playing the fool if he becomes involved with a formerly 
married non~Catholic on the easy supposition that that first 
Protestant marriage will be put aside as no good. The bets 
are all in favor of the Church's finding the first marriage 
all right. 

Most marriage legislation of the Church regards Cath~ 
olics only. It prefers to think that non~Catholics are rightly 
married. 

So each marriage would have to be studied in detail. 
Are there any elements present that might have affected its 
validity from the start? Force, fear, fraud may have entered 
in. Are the persons baptized Christians or pagans? Could 
the Pauline Privilege be applied? Was the marriage null and 
void from the start? 

Only careful study will make these points clear. In the 
interval the marriage will be regarded by all priests as legal 
and binding. Too many Catholics gaily start out by ques~ 
tioning the marriage of some non-Catholic with whom they 
have fallen in love, only to find in the end that they are in-
volved with a perfectly correctly married person. 

41 



So the wise policy with regard to ail marriages would 
run like this: 

1. They should be regarded as correct marriages until 
the facts have conclusively proved that they are not correct. 
It is ridiculous to build up false hopes on rumors , guesses , 
and legends about what the Church has done in other like 
cases. 

2. The case should promptly be referred to some 
priest who has the time, patience , and knowledge to thresh 
through all the da ta. 

3. In the interval the one who has presented the case 
should reconcile himself to the likelihood of a decision in 
favor of the former marriage. For one marriage found in~ 
valid, a hundred are recognized by the Church as valid , 
lawful, and entirely binding. 

So a Catholic is very smart if he or she does not becom e 
involved emotionally with married people, whatever their 
faith or their lack of it. He or she may as well know that 
the Church will do all it can to establish the first marriage 
as firm and lawful. Only those marriages that are plainl y 
and provably void from the start or that fall under one or 
two of the rare conditions will be set aside. 

I am going 'With a non-Catholic. I hope that I shall con-
y.ert him. What do you think of that? 

By all means convert him-before you marry him. 
If you wait for his conversion until after you are married 

to him , you probably will wait a long, long time. 
If he does not love you enough now to study your reli~ 

gion and learn about the faith that is so important to you , 
he is not likely to bother much about it once you are safely 
his and he knows you cannot escape. 

Of course you must not let him be<;:ome a Catholic just 
to marry you. If that is his sole reason for conversion , h e 
will not hold his faith long after marriage. 

When love grows a little pale, the difficulties of being 
a Catholic are likely to mount and mount. 

Convert him now, sincerely and honestly , by force o f 
your good example and on the strength of what your religion 

42 



has done to make you a splendid person. Then you can 
marry him at a nuptial Mass before God 's altar and start 
y our life with a real union of hearts and minds. 

There is no need to tell anyone who knows modern living 
that a mixed marriage has only an infinitesimally small 
c hance of success these days. 

The odds against happiness in mixed marriage are tre-
mendous. They are not worth the risk of the most ad-
v enturous type of gambler. 

My father is a fine man. He is not a Catholic. I do not 
think I should disturb him by trying to make him 
become a Catholic. 

Any well-instructed Catholic knows that good non-
Catholic men and w omen may belong to the invisible Church . 
If they do, through baptism and a sincere love of God they 
will be saved. . 

Yet it does seem strange that Catholics are not more 
anxious to share-certainly with those they love-the won-
derful advantages that come with membership in the visible 
Church. How strange that Catholics don't worry more 
about their dear ones who are not Catholic. How selfish 
that they do not try to pass on to those dear ones outside 
the faith the graces and certainties of Christ's own Church . 

Let's say that during the course of his life the non-
Catholic has committed even one mortal sin. (After all 
most people do.) What does he do to get rid of it? Many 
non-Catholics have not the slightest idea of repentance or 
supernatural sorrow for sins. They have no . confessional. 
They are not taught about the methods of reviving grace in 
their souls. Yet sin is not forgiven merely because in the 
course of time the sinners forget the sin. It is not forgiven 
merely because a person is a gentleman and embarrassed by 
the cheapness of his conduct. 

So we may well worry about our non-Catholic relatives 
and friends as we wonder what they have done to remove 
sin from their souls. 

Catholics know vividly their own need for strength . 
Again and again they have to call on the power of prayer . 

43 



They have felt the immediate help that comes from the sac-
raments. Yet even with all these aids life remains difficult 
enough and temptation strong and seductive. What do non-
Catholics do, who must struggle along without these things! 
It seems more than a little selfish that we Catholics are posi-
tively reluctant to encourage these non-Catholics to our 
Christ-given sources of strength . 

Only through union with Christ can a person possess 
that supernatural life which makes possible entrance into 
heaven. A person may be a gentleman and a fine, naturally 
good man and yet not possess within himself the life of God, 
which is grace. Yet if he dies without grace, his soul has 
no power to enjoy the beatific vision. Without the life of 
God in his soul he cannot do the godlike things necessary 
to see, know, love, and possess the Trinity. 

Catholics are sometimes quite disconcerted to find out 
how little even good Protestants~and much more, good nat-
ural men~know about God . . . how little thinking they do 
about the next life ... how vague they are about Christ .. . 
how little thought they give to the saving of their own souls . 

More than likely the word disturb in this question is a 
wrong one. 

Catholics don't disturb the non-Catholic by their offering 
him a share in the glorious faith of Christ. On the other 
hand they are often too lazy to bother with the labor of 
conversion. They know their own faith too slightly and 
superficially to be able to express it convincingly to anyone 
else. 

It is selfish to hold back from our dear ones the joy of 
Christmas communion or the peace that follows a good con-
fession. Weare cheating them when we fail to let them 
know and love Our Lady. There is something very cal-
lous about the Catholics who let their relatives die without 
faith, without a sign of sorrow for past sins or any thought 
of the eternity that lies just beyond death. 

Making converts is not easy. It demands of us a fine 
example. It takes time , patience, tact, and prayer. 

Too many Catholics pretend to a gentlemanly or ladylike 
unwillingness to "disturb their relatives and friends," when 
what they really have is a low estimate of their own faith 
and a complete lack of zeal. 

44 



• 

How can I make a conyerl of one of my own family? 

Sometimes this is harder than the converting of a friend 
or a total stranger . Yet it need not be so hard. 

Many a non~Catholic within the bosom of a Catholic 
family is puzzled by the fact that he is never asked to share 
even a portion of the Catholic faith and practice. In fact 
he feels himself barred as an unwanted outsider. 

A fine beginning for conversion is to ask this non~Catholic 
to some notable church event, the Christmas Mass, Holy 
Week services, a sermon by some outstanding priest, an 
attractive novena service. 

Then quite frankly we can hand the non~Catholic a 
Catholic book. The attitude that accompanies the present~ 
ing of the book should not be an aggressive " Here , read 
this and become a Catholic" but "Here's a book that inter~ 
ested me, and I thought you might find it interesting too ." 

As a matter of course we can start inviting our non~ 
Catholic relative to go to church with us. The less this is 
made an event and the more we make it a matter of pleasant. 
friendly association, the better. . 

"We are going to the novena tonight. Do come with us. " 
"Before we go to the movies, we're dropping in for bene ~ 

diction. How about coming along?" 
"We'll be stopping off for Mass on our way to the pic~ 

nic. We'd love to have you come too." 
Catholics often act positively reluctant about sharing 

their religion. Many a Protestant and a non~Catholic find 
us cold and aloof. They feel that we really don't want to 
be bothered with them. We never invite them to our serv~ 
ices. We leave them out of all things Catholic. 

So they are often surprised and usually pleased when we 
invite them in a friendly way. 

In some cases a frank statement of our own interest in 
their conversion is a good idea. 

"Y ou know we never want to bother you about becoming 
a Catholic. That would be something you'd have to decide 
entirely for yourself. But just the same you know how 
happy it would make us if you ever decided to join us in 
the faith." 

45 



A pleasant. cordial invitation of this sort makes a pro-
found impression. 

Beyond all else however the non-Catholics in the house-
hold are impressed by what they see their Catholic relatives 
do. If faith obviously influences their conduct. if they love 
the faith and its practices. if they never miss their essential 
duties. if they never shock the non-Catholic by sharp criti-
cism . of or complaint about the obligations of the faith. if 
they live their faith and enjoy it and get a lot of happi.Q.ess 
and consolation out of it. this is the most powerful argu-
ment and persuasion. 

But even then that personal invitation is important. 

You may get a surprisingly pleasant response to it. 

If God knows what I am going to do, whether I shall be 
sayed or lost, there is nothing that I can do about it. 
My fate is sealed. So why worry? 

Inevitably someone pops up with this question of pre-
destination. It seems to be one of the commonest of diffi-
culties. 

Instead of answering the question directly. let's take an 
example or parallel. 

We are watching the ski jumpers in the city park . A 
jumper comes to the top of the run. poises. and tips his 
skis downward. You and I are certain that the man is 
going to make the slide and the jump at the end of the run. 
He has not done so yet. but from his position and move-
ments we are certain that he intends to do so. Indeed . even 
before our thoughts take very definite form. he lets himself 
go. glides down the packed snow. and hurtles through the 
air in a magnificent leap. 
- Now read this over carefully and follow the line of 
thought: 

We knew that the man was going to make the ski 
jump . 

Actually he did what we knew he would do. 
So we foresaw his actions. and he lived up to our 

forecast. 

46 



But here is the point: We knew he would make the 
ski jump, and we knew this because he was going to make 
the jump. 

He did not make the ski jump because we knew h e 
would make it. 

In other words our foreknowledge in this case de -
pended on what the man would do. He did not jump be-
cause we had foreknowledge of his jumping. We had fore-
knowledge of his jumping because he was going to jump . 

God's foreknowledge of us can be paralleled in some 
way by this. Of course God's vision of the world is much 
more elaborate and hence will not fit into any human com -
parison. But with God everything is now. With Him there 
is no past, present , or future. Everything for Him simply is. 

So looking into history and time, He sees y ou and me 
and all of us. He sees not merely what we have of our own 
free will done in the past; He sees what of 'our own free 
will we shall do in the future . He sees the things that we 
will decide to do . Later on we decide to do those things . 
He forsees because of our future decision. Our future de-
cision was not caused by the fact that He foresees it. 

So God, looking forward, sees that a year from now you 
and I will have the same temptation . He sees you freely 
resisting and me freely yielding. Looking into the future . 
as you and I did in the case of the man on the ski jump . 
He watches us make our decision . He . foresees you freely 
deciding to resist, me freely deciding to sin. But we do not 
make our decision because God foresees it. He foresees it 
because we will make it. 

Looking still further forward into our lives . God sees us 
deciding whether we want to go to heaven or to hell . The' 
time comes, and we make our final decision. That decision 
is. with God's grace or in contempt of it , ours to make. But 
he foresees what we shall freely choose to do . 

H right now you determine, and mean it, "I will end my 
life in heaven ," God sees your decision and is wonderfully 
happy. If somewhere in the world someone is saying . " I 
mean to go to hell. " God sees that too and regrets it. 

But we do not make our decisions because God ha s for e-
seen them. 

47 



God foresees our decisions because we will make them. 

All this may take a lot of thinking, but it grows clearer 
with deeper thought. 

How much faith should I haye in prayer? Should I de-
mand that God giye me my way? Or should I put my 
prayer so yaguely that I leaye it pretty much up to 
God? 

Our Blessed Lord Himself promised, '''Ask, and it shall 
be given you." 

Where prayer is concerned, we may start with the cer-
tainty that no prayer is ever wasted. If we pray with faith 
and sincerity and perseverance, our prayer will most certainly 
be answered. We have Christ's guarantee for that. God 
will give us what we ask. Or if His clear vision sees that 
what we ask is bad for us , He graciously gives us something 
else-and better. 

So in all our prayers we must pray with that understand-
ing. "I want this , God, prOVided you foresee that it would 
not be bad for me." 

God Himself set us the lovely example of prayer made 
perfectly. As He faced His Passion in the .vision of Geth-
semani, human dread and fear shook Him to the depths of 
His soul. So He prayed with all His heart that the awful 
chalice held to His lips be withdrawn. 

Immediately however He added the essential condition: 
"Yet not my will, but thine be done." 

So we can ask from God, and ask generously. 
We can put all our needs, spiritual and temporal. and 

even our half-formed desires before Him. 
Always though for our own safety and to protect our-

selves against a future which we cannot possibly foresee , 
we should put these requests in the subjunctive mood: "If 
they are good for me, dear Lord, let me have them." 

Then God, looking forward to see what the consequences 
of His granting our requests would be, will grant our requests 
or withhold them, His actions depending on whether He sees 
them beneflting us or doing us harm. 

48 



If the thing we ask is not granted, we can safely expect 
the substitute gift-something that turns out to be exactly 
what is for our best interests. 

Luckily for us God is not only a generous Father; He is 
a wise and farseeing protector of His children. 

I haye been in a Catholic school all my life. It seems to 
me that it is time now that I got a chance to go to a 
non-Catholic college. 

On the contrary ; this is precisely the time when you are 
ready to reap the benefits of your Catholic education. Up to 
and through high school one is merely bringing together the 
instruments of education. College is the place where these 
instruments are put to use . You'd make the greatest mistake 
if you laid aside the instruments of Catholic education at the 
very time when you are ready to gather the fullest results 
from the use of them . ' 

The reasons against a Catholic's entering a non~Catholic 
college are many : 

At best the non~Catholic college is indifferent to the 
Catholic faith and pra ctice. 

In most cases the ,professors will regard the Catholic 
religion as silly, obsolete, a matter of no importance, prob~ 
a bly as wrong , harmfuL ridiculous , maybe as positively evil. 

Some of the faculty will be politely indifferent to the 
Catholic religion-and to Christ. 

Some of them will be acutely hostile in such a skillful 
fashion that the brightest student will find himself unpre~ 
pared to meet their arguments or answer the difficulties they 
present. 

A great deal of modern education begins with the 
dogmas that man is an animaL that there is no God, that 
free will is a delusion, that the afterlife is a myth, that morals 
are merely current manners . 

The social life of the campus is un~Catholic , often 
positively pagan in cha racter . The students are in most cases 
ignorant of Catholicity and regard their Catholic fellow 
students with amused curiosity, indifference , contempt, pity. 
dislike. Because of this the number of Catholics permitted 

49 



in most of the fraternities and sororities is placed on a low 
quota. Catholics are barred from many of the swank clubs. 
The Catholic is obliged then to form for future friendships 
'acquaintance with men and women who dislike Catholicity, 
regard Catholics as anachronisms, and politely ignore, clev~ 
erly ridicule, or violently dislike and attack the Catholic 
faith. 

The number of Catholics who lose their faith in non~ 
Catholic colleges is staggeringly large. Even if they do not 
lose it, they have spent four years in a minimum practice of 
their faith and a struggle to maintain some semblance of 
religious life in a totally un~Catholic atmosphere. 

At best those who do keep their faith come out merely 
with their faith unharmed. In no sense has it been advaneed. 
improved, strengthened, and made more intelligent through 
these precious four years. 

In a Catholic college things are entirely different: 

. Christ Himself in the Eucharist dwells on the campus. 

None of the classes or the faculty endanger or at-
tack the faith. 

The professors present the best of secular knowledge 
objectively and honestly. 

The spirit of the classrooms and laboratories is Cath~ 
olic. 

For the first time the full philosophy of Christ is 
presented to the student in its complete form. Catholic re-
ligion becomes adult in its practice. Catholic philosophy 
establishes a firm foundation for future thinking and living. 

The social life is Catholic. Your associates are pre~ 
dominantly Catholic and thus make possible Catholic friend-
ships and associations for your future. You grow to know 
men and women who have the same faith and ideals that 
you have, people who become your friends for your entire 
life. 

The Catholic college or university is the crown of 
Catholic education. It climaxes, completes, and polishes the 
systematic development of the Catholic leader. 

Today prospective collegians can pick anyone of hun~ 
dreds of fine Catholic colleges. They are wise indeed if they 

50 



make a Catholic college their campus home and intellectual 
training ground for the full four years . 

Why should I ask God for anything? Eyerything is de-
cided by God's holy will. So prayer cannot effect 
what God has decreed. 

Prayer cannot, in the human expression, make God 
change His mind. Yes that is correct. God does not decree 
something and then later on listen to a prayer and say, 
"Well we'll change that." 

Our difficulty is in thinking of God always-or too often 
-in merely human terms. Let's take a human example and 
see how it works. 

This particular father is very fond of his son. He is 
constantly trying to think of things that will make him 

. happy. One day he hears the son talking with his mother. 
" Mother, " the boy says , ' 'I'd like to go to college and 

then study to be a doctor. I wonder wh a t dad would say to 
that? " 

" Well ," says the mother, thoughtfully, "I know that 
he'd like to see you go into business with him. But suppos e 
you ask him." 

As a matter of fact the father would like his son to 
enter the business he had been building up . But he says t o 
himself , "If my boy wants to be a doctor enough to come 
to me and ask me, I'll make it possible for him to be a 
doctor ." 

The son comes and asks the father. The father says a 
swift, " God bless you, my son. Be a doctor, and be a good 
one." 

You'll note that the father had made up his mind before 
the son came. He had conditioned his answer however on 
the son's question. "If he comes and asks, I'll say yes." 

A great many things in the future are conditioned in 
that way . God has decreed that IF you pray for this, He 
will give it to you. If you do not pray, He won ' t. Foresee-
ing perfectly the future , He knows whether or not you will 
pray; but His decree will be to grant your request if you a sk 
.. not grant your request if you don't ask. 

S! 



You see. God knows whether or not you will pray. He 
knows that He will answer your prayer in the way that will 
be for your greater happiness. 

So you are pretty smart if you say that prayer. 
God has plans for you. happy plans. if you say that 

prayer. 

What is the Heroic Act? 

It is an act of charity. of splendid. courageous love of-
fered to God and souls by many a fine Catholic. religious 
and lay. 

By this act the Catholic places. usually in the hands of 
the Blessed Virgin. all the merits he may earn on earth. He 
asks that these be used for the souls in purgatory. He offers 
in addition all the Masses and prayers and good works that 
may be offered for him after his death. releasing all these 
too for the souls in purgatory. 

From the time that he makes his act. he does not profit 
by any of the indulgences and good works which might remit 
the temporal punishment due to his own sins. He transfers 
all these to the souls in purgatory. He further agrees to 
remain suffering in purgatory as long as God wishes and the 
guilt on his own soul demands; 

So his purgatory may be very long and painful. 

He takes this chance out of his desire to help others now 
and after his death. 

S hall we know our own in hetlven? 

Indeed we shall. 

That will be one of the great joys of heaven. We shall 
be eternally reunited with those we have known . loved. and 
perhaps lost on earth. 

After all it is the characteristics of the soul which are 
distinctive. and it is the minds and wills of those we love 
which make them most lovable. 

Then when our bodies rise from the grave. the reunion 
will be still more joyous and complete. 

52 



Suppose it is Friday. y' ou order meat in a restaurant; 
and wh.en you begin to ' eat, you remember that it is 
Friday. Are you obliged not to eat the meat? 

If you would go hungry if you did not eat what y ou 
ordered, you may eat your dinner-that is , if you can't 
afford to spend money on another dinner, or if your canceling 
your order would mean a real inconvenience to others . But 
if you are not running the danger of g<;>ing hungry by not 
eating the meat , you shouldn't eat it. 

May one eat until one o'clock in the morning under day-
light-saying time and still go to Holy Communion? 

Yes. 

It is permitted to follow any system of time that exists 
or has been recognized in a particular section of the country . 
So you may follow sun time , or daylight~saving time , which 
is one hour faster than sun time. On sun time midnight is 
twelve o 'clock. On daylight~saving time one o 'clock is st ill 
midnight. 

Take you r choice. 

W hat kind of sin did Adam and EYe commit? l' ye heard 
that it was a sin of impurity. 

It was clearly a sin of disobedience. But then in a way 
a ll sins are sins of disobedience. They are all a refu sa l to 
obey God 's law. 

It is hard to say just where arose the misapprehension 
about our first parents' sin's being one of impurity. Possibly 
that came about through a misunderstanding of the word 
concupiscence. Strictly concupiscence means any desire. 
There was on the part of Adam and Eve a strong desire for 
power, to be like God, to eat the forbidden fruit . So con~ 
cupiscence was involved. 

When human desires become inclined toward evil instead 
of toward good , this state is referred to as the growth of 
concupiscence. 

A great many people though think that all desire is the 
desire of the flesh . Such thinking is not correct, though it is 

53 



possible that that desire is the one -that most vividly impresses 
human beings. 

At any rate there was a confusion, and the desires of 
Adam and Eve became mixed up in people's minds with the 
concupiscence of the flesh. 

Why do we always have an Italian Pope? 

History reveals -that there have been Popes of the widest 
range of nationalities. There have been Popes who were 
Jewish, Greek,_ German, African, Italian, French, one even 
British. 

Within the past centuries the office of Pope has become 
a very technical post. The Pope is ruler of the tiny Vatican 
State. He is in constant communication with the countries 
of the world and their representatives. He must be able to 
handle easily the enormous detail of his office. An untrained , 
inexperienced man might well be lost in this welter of detail 
and this mass of essential and official routine . 

Hence the men best suited for the office are those cardi-
nals who have lived long in the Vatican City and know its 
background, procedure, and complicated detail. 

If a man better suited to handle all this were found 
among those cardinals of other nations , he might easily be 
chosen Pope. Right now the men best trained are the Italian 

• cardinals, who live constantly in the atmpsphere of the 
Vatican. 

But any change of conditions might change entirely our 
idea of the type of man best suited for the office of Holy 
Father. 

Is there anything one can do to make Catholics more 
friendly? 

Yes. Each of us personally can start being more friendly. 
Often friendliness is just a matter of being friendly and 

deserving friendship and showing signs of wanting friend-
ship from others. 

In their defense let us remember that Catholics go to 
church to worship God. They are not inclined to think of 

54 



their church as a social center, as many non-Catholics think 
of their church. 

Beyond that most Catholics are really very social people. 
They lead pleasant home lives. They love good music. They 
enjoy social events and are inclined to be fond of parties. 
They are great for starting and joining societies. If anything , 
they seem to conduct too many societies. For almost any 
kind of excuse they will get together to eat and talk. 

Perhaps however because of their minority status in 
America and because of frequent persecution and the con-
tinued contempt and dislike shown them by certain groups, 
Catholics may tend to withdraw a little into themselves . 
They become distrustful or have an inherited distrust of 
strangers. They cling to those they know and are sure of. 

Maybe if Catholics acquired a little more self-confidence, 
if they were more conscious of their own magnificent cultural 
tradition , if they were prouder of their history and surer of 
their value to the world at large, they might be less shy of 
strangers. even of Catholic strangers. . 

And if they remembered that friendliness is a form of 
charity a nd can be a high supernatural virtue , they might 
practice it more fre ely. 

But friendliness wins friendlines s. 

Perhaps what we need is a Catholic ca mpaign called, 
" Let's Speak to Another Catholic Today." 

I go to confession. I try my best to make a good confes-
sion. Then afterward I am not sure whether or not I 
haye really made a good confession. What shall I do? 

First of all and essential before all a person suffering 
from scruples should get a good confessor. He should trust 
him implicitly and obey all hi s orders without hesitati~n. 

The world is full of scrupulous people : some about things 
in business , some about their duty to their family , some about 
dirt, some about religion . For some a physicia n is needed . 
For some a priest is the best friend . For spi ritual scruples 
the priest is the doctor. 

55 



To him the most implicit obedience should be given. really 
as if one were obeying God . . God will bless that kind of 
obedience. 

It is however a good thing occasionally to realize how 
silly scruples are. 

A person tries to make a good confession. If he sincerely 
tries. he may be perfectly sure that his confession is good . 
For God is far more anxious to forgive sins than we are to 
be freed from them. If a person does his best . God supplies 
all else. 

With time a person should learn to think far less of hi s 
sins than of the mercy and love of God. He should compare 
gratefully the slight and sketchy confession made by the 
prodigal son and the swift forgiveness granted by the father. 
He should remember how eagerly Christ forgave the re-
pentant Peter and the sorrowing Magdalen . 

God loves us . The scrupulous person should put that 
statement directly and keep saying over and over to himself . 
" God loves me; God loves me." 

The mere fact of his anxiety to be in God's grace should 
become proof of his own sincerity. That desire makes a con-
fession heartfelt. It is the surest lien that w e can place on 
God 's forgiveness . 

But in the end it all boils down to this : Get the right 
confessor . trust h im implicitly. and do what he orders. 

Religion is so old-fashioned. 

So what? Food is old-fashioned. as is the old- fashioned 
custom of drinking-anything from water to vintage wine. 

Mothers are a really old-fashioned institution . And is 
there anything very modern about the state or about civ il 
government? 

Poetry is old-fashioned . and so is the art of painting . 
There has always been among people the fashion to sing ; 
and in the spring-ever since the first spring broke over 
Eden-it has been the fashion to dance . Con v ersation be-
tween friends is old-fashioned ... and I cannot think of a 
time in history when people did not gather for parties. 
Games and sports are old- fashioned ; the most primitive 

56 



drawings show the human being madly pursuing some kind 
of inanimate object or hitting it violently with some sort 
of stick. 

Usually however the word old-fashioned implies out of 
date. 

When mother love and the security of home , good din-
ners and pleasant evenings with friends, dancing to an 
orchestra and straining one's energies to make or cheer for 
the winning point are out of date, then religion may be out 
of date too . 

57 





IN D E X 

Abstinence, on Fridays, 53; pledge, 20. 

Act of charity, heroic, 52. 

Adam and Eve and original sin, 53. 

Age at which to marry, 6. 

Aloofness of priests and nuns, 34. 

. Annulment of marriage, 42. 

Apostles and direct succession, 37. 

A.postles' Creed and Ten Commandments , 
4. 

Association with lay people by priests and 
nuns, 34. 

Bachelorhood as a state of life, 33, 34. 

Beatific vision, 44. 

Belief in the Catholic Church , 37. 

Bible, the , and birth control, 25; and 
drink, 17; and gambling, 40; and 
prayer, 48; Protestant attitude to· 
ward, 36; and union in the Church, 
38. 

Bingo and financial support of the 
Church, 39. 

Birth control, and the natural law, 25; 
and continence, 26. 

Blessing of the bride at nuptial Mass, 23 . 

HBlue stories" and Christian standards, 
24. 

Books, Cathol ic, for non-Catholics, 45. 

Bride, blessing of, at nuptial Mass, 23. 

Broadmindedness of Catholics, 36. 

Calvinism and sex , 27. 

Cana, wedding feast of , and drink, 1'7. 

Cardinals and the nationality of the 
Pope, 54. 

nCarrying a Torch," 13. 

Catholic books for non-Catholics, 45. 

Catbolic Action and modern youth, 7. 

Catholicism, non-Catholic colleges hostile 
to , 50; the true religion , 37, 38, 43 . 

Ceremonies, non-Catholic , 38, 39. 

Charity, heroic act of, 52. 

Children, and birth control, 25; the 
Church's teaching about, 26, 27; 
and drink, 17; and duties to par-
ents , 32, 33; and their parents, 25· 
27; and the Rhythm Theory, 26; 
and sex instructions, 27. 

Christ, on the Catholic campus, 49, 50; 
and Church unity, 38; and conver-
sion, 43, 44; and the direct suc-
cession of the Popes, 37; and Papal 
infallibility, 36 ; and prayer, 48; and 

the sacraments, 36; and the saints, 
10, 56; and vocations, 29; and the 
will of God, 48. 

Church, the, and doctrine , 36; finan cial 
suppon of, 8, 39 , 40; and happi-
ness, 37; invisible, 43; Protestant , 
38; reasons for belief in, 36 ; suffi-
ciency of, and the commandments, 
43. 

Colleges, Catholic, 49; and faith, 50; and 
free will, 50; non-Catholic, 49; and 
vocations, 31, 32. 

Commandments , the, and Christian youth , 
7 ; and prudery, 21; safeguards for 
the Apostles' Creed, 4; and the 
sufficiency of the Catholic Church, 
38, 39. 

59 

Communion, and fasting, 53; frequent, 
7; vocations deriving strength from , 
30il; and young people, 6. 

Conception, of the human soul , 12; and 
contraceptives , 25. 

Concupiscence and original sin, 53. 

Conduct, on dates, 9ff; and purity, 21 . 

Confession , and conversions , 44, 45; and 
the prodigal son, 56; scruples in , 
55. 

Confessor, confidence in , 31; and scru-
ples, 55; and vocations, 28ff. 

Continence in marriage, 26. 

Contraceptives, 25. 

Convent, the, and parental objections to, 
32; when to enter, 31. 

Conversion , and confession, 44; and 
Mary, 44; means of, 38; and mixed 
marriages, 43; of non· Catholic par-
e nts and relatives, 43·45. 

Converts and the faith, 45. 

Conway, Father Bertrand, and nThe 
Qu estion Box," 5. 

Creed, Apostles' , and the commandments, 
4. 

uCrushes" and Hpuppy loves," 13. 

Dates , conduct on, 22; and drinking, 17; 
and Hgoing steady," 1'5; and kiss· 
ing, 9 , 10'; and mu s ic, 24 ; planning 
for, 24. 

Direct apostolic success ion in the Church , 
37. 

Dirty stories and Christian standards, 24, 
25. 

Divorce , and birth control , 25, 26; and 
marriage, 41. 

Doctrin e s of the Catholic Church , 36. 



Drinking, and children, 17; on dates, 19; 
and drunkenness , 19; and food, 19; 
at home and outside , 18; and the 
pledge, 20 ; and sacrifice, 21; and 
St. Paul, 17; as a stimulant, 18; 
and temptations to impurity, 20; 
and the wedding feast of Cana, 17; 
and youth, 18 , 1'9. 

Education , Catholic, 49 , 50; duties of 
parents toward, 33; and Masonry, 
40; in the parochial sch ool, 7; as 
preparation for life' and vocations , 
30-32; sex, 27 _ 

Evil, of birth control , 251£; of U"going 
steady," 15 . 

Faith , the, converts to , 45; in Don-
Catholic colleges, 49; and prayer, 
48, 51; and sa lvation, 41. 

Financial support of the Church, 8, 39, 
40_ 

Food and drink , 20. 

Free will, and pre d es tination , 46 ; taught 
in non-Catholic colleges, 49. 

Friendliness of Catholics , 54. 

Funerals, non-Catholic, 39. 

Future , the, and prayer, 51. 

Gambling, and financial support of the 
Church, 8 , 39 ; and scandal , 39. 

nGoing steady," dangers of, 15; and 
effects on marriage, 15. 

Grace, 44 . Ct. Communion , Vocatiolls . 

Habits of sin and vocations, 28. 

Happiness, in the Catholic Church, 37; 
in heaven with friends and re latives, 
52 ; in marriage, 26; in mixed 
marriages, 43ff; of parents whose 
children have religious vocations , 
34; in virtue, 22. 

Heaven, attainment of, 28, 44; happi-
n ess in, 52 ; and predestination, 46. 

Heroic act of charity, 52 . 

Hierarchy in Rome and the nationality 
of the Pope , 54. 

History and young people , 6. 

Holy See and the nationality of the 
Pope, 54_ 

Home, the Catholicity of , 33; and con-
version of non-Catholic relatives, 
43; drink in , 17ff j and sex instruc-
tions, 27. 

Impurity, and drink , 20; and birth con-
trol , 26 ; and improper touches, 14. 
Ct. Condu ct, Dates, Pass ion, Temp. 
tation. 

I ndu lge n ces and th e poor souls , 52 . 

60 

Infallibility of the Pope, 36tf. 

Invisible Church, the , 43 . 

J ansenism and sex, 2 7 _ 

Kissing, on dates , 10; and pagani.sm , 11; 
a sin, 9. 

Latin America and Masonry, 40. 

Liquor, 17 tf . 

Lotteries, as a means of Church support , 
39; and scandal, 39. 

Love, co unterfeit, 11; and mixed mar-
riages, 42, 43 ; and n ecking, 12 ; and 
the powers of creation , 25, 26. 

Magdal en, Mary, and repentance, 10, 56. 

Marriage, after divorce, 41; age for , 6; 
ceremony and bless ing of the bride , 
23; continence in, 26; and tt going 
steady," 15; happiness in , 26, 43ft; 
love in, 13, 41; mixed, and con-
version, 42, 43 ; and the nuptial 
Mass, 23, 43; parental consent to , 
33; and Pauline Privilege, 41 ; and 
vocation, 35. 

Mary, appeal of, 23; and conversions, 
45 ; example for youth, 7; and vo -
cations, 28ff . 

Magdalen, Mary, and repentance. 10 , 56. 

Masonry, and Catholicism , 40; in Latin 
America, 40; and pa!."ochial schools , 
40. 

Maturity, a prerequisite for marriage, 6 . 

Minority of Catholics , 55. 

Mixed marriages, and conversion of non-
Catholic partner, 42, 43; and di· 
vorce, 41'; and happiness , 43ff; a nd 
Pauline Privilege, 41 ; successes and 
failures , 17 . 

Money and the Church , 8 , 39. 

Morals, and faith, 4; non-Catholic col · 
leges' teaching on , 49 , 50. 
Ct. Birth contTo l , Con duct , D '.lles, 

Motherhood foreshadowed at n up tial 
Mass, 23_ 

Music, and planned dates , 24; as a 
wholesome recreation, 2 4. 

Mys tical Body of Christ, and fai th in the 
Church, 38; and non-Catholic reo 
ligious ceremonies, 38. 

Narrowmindedness of Catholics , 36. 

Nationality of the Pope , 54. 

Natural Law , the , and birth control. 25 . 

Necking, 12. 

Non-Catholic , churches. 38, 50 ; conver· 
sions, 36, 42ff ; and free will , 49; 
funerats ~ 39; ho stility to Catholic-



ism, 50; and love, 42; and the 
validity of marriage, 41; and mor· 
tal sin, 43; parents and relatives, 
43ft; and the sacraments, 43, 44; 
and salvation, 43 ; schools, 49; 
weddings, 39. 

Nuptial Mass, 23, 43. 

Old-fashioned religion , 56. 

Original sin and concupiscenoe, 53. 

Paganism, and kissing, 11 j and modern 
youth, 6; in non-Catholic schools, 
49. 

Papal infallibility, 3 6tf. 

Parents, and birth co~trol, 26, 27; and 
children, 32, 33; and children's vo· 
cations, 28ft; and duties of married 
life, 26; and sex instructions, 27_ 

Parochial schools, and Catholic educa-
tion, 7; and Masonry, 40. 

Passion, and drink , 1811; and !!going 
steady," 15; aroused by kissing, 9; 
aroused by necking , 12. 

Passion of · Christ and the will of God, 
48. 

Pauline Privlege, 41. 

Paulist Fathers , the , and "' The Question 
Box," 5. 

Persecution, and youth , 7 j and Catholic 
aloofness, 54. 

UPeuing," 11. Ct. pates, Drink, Passion. 
Philosophy, Catholic , and education, 49, 

50. 

Pledge of abstinence from liquor, 20. 

Poor souls, the, and indulgences, 52 . 

Pope, infallibility of, 36ff ; nationality of, 
54. 

Poverty, and birth control , 26; evil of, 
27; and vocations , 32. 

Prayer, faith in, 48; and grace, 44; and 
the heroic act of charity , 52; and 
predestination. 51; union in, 38; and 
vocations, 31ft . 

Predestination , and free will , 46 , 47; 
and prayer, 51 ; and salvation , 46. 

Priesthood, and parents, 32 , 33; voca-
tion to, 28ff. 

Procreation and love , 12, 25. Ct. Birth 
Control. 

Prodigal son and confession , 56. 

Protestant Church, 38. 

Prudery and the Ten Commandments , 
21. 

Punishment due to sin ) 52. 

Hpuppy love," 13 . 

Purga tory, indulgences. and the heroic 
act, 52. 

61 

Puritanism and sex, 27. 

Purity, and kissing, 9; and necking, 12; 
and prudery, 21. 

ttQuestion Box, The, " 5. 

Religion, and conversions , 36, 431f ; effect 
of, on modern youth, 6; and Mason· 
ry, 40; and mixed marriages, 41; 
old-fashioned, 56; Protestant, 38; in 
schools, 49; true, 39. 

Religious vocations, 31ft; Cf. Vocatious. 

Repentance, and Mary Magdalen , 10, 56; 
~f non-Catholics , 43 ; of Peter , 56; 
and the prodigal son, 56. 

Resurrection of the body, 52 . 

Rhythm Theory, 26. 

Rights in religion, 38ft. 

Sacraments, and Christ , 37; and non-
Catholics, 44; and supernatural life, 
44; and youth, 6 . 

Sacrifice and drink, 19, 20. 

St. Mary Magdalen and repentance, 10, 
56. 

St. Paul and wine , 17. 

St. Peter, and repentance, 56; the ttrock," 
39. 

Saints , in the Catholic Church , 10, 37, 
56; personalities of, 21; and the 
state of virginity, 33, 34. 

Salvation , and Masonry, 40; of non· 
Catholics, 43 ; and predestin ation , 
46; and vocations, 29. 

Sanctity of Christ and Mary, 22. 

Sanctifying grace, 44 . 

Scandal, caused b y' Catholics ' attending 
non·Catholic ceremonies , 39; and 
.parish gambling, 39; Ct. Money 
and the Church. 

School system, Catholic, 7, 40 , 49ff. 
Scruples in the confessional, 55 . 

Sex, and birth control, 251f; evil inter· 
pretation of , 27; and tt g 0 i n g 
steady," 15; instructions, 27 ; and 
necking and petting, 12. 

Sin: Ct. Sex, Dates, Conduct, Drink, 
Birth control. 

Social life , Catholic, 60; in Catholic 
colleges, 54; and drink, 17; and 
music, 24; in non-Catholic colleges, 
49; and temptations to sin , 24; and 
youth, 15 . Ct. Dates. 

Spiritual director, 30ff. Ct. Vocations. 
"~Spooning," 12 . 

Standards, and conduct on dates , 21; 
Christian , and dirty stories, 24 , 25. 

State of life, 27ff. Cf. Vocation s, Mar-
riage, Priesthood. 



Succession, apostolic, in the Church, 37. 

Supernatural life of grace and the sac-
raments, 43, 44. 

Temptations, and drink, 171£; and u go · 
iog steady," 15; and kissing, 9; 
and necking, 12; in social life, 24. 

Ten Commandments, the, 7. C/. Com-
mandments. 

Trinity, the, and the life of God in the 
soul, 44. 

True religion , the , 37. 

Unity of the Catholic Church, 37, 38. 

Validity of marriage, 41, 42 . 

Vatican, the, and nationality of th e Pope, 
54. 

Virginity, saints, and vocations, 33, 34. 

Vision, beatific, 44. 

Virtue, and happiness , 22; and the heroic 
act of charity, 52. 

62 

Vocations , and Christ, 29; and commun-
ion, 30ft; and confessors, 28ft; and 
convents, 31ft; and education, 31ff; 
and habits of sin, 28; happiness in, 
33; marriage as, 35; and Mary, 
28ft; and parents, 28ff; and prayer, 
31ff; preparation for , 15; priestly . 
28tf; and salvation, 29; signs of, 
28tf; and spiritual director, 30ff; 
and virginity, 33, 34. 

Wedding feast of Cana and drink, 17. 

Weddings, Catholic attendance at non-
Catholic, 39. Ct. Marriage. 

Will, free , 46 , 51; of God, and the 
Passion of Christ, 48. 

Wine and Drink, 17ff. Ct. Drinking. 
Worldliness of priests and nuns , 34. 

Youth , and Catholic Action, 7; Catho-
lic education of. 7 , 49; and drink-
ing, 18, 19; and history, 6; and the 
liturgical movement, 7; and Mary, 
7 ; and persecution, 7; and religion , 
6; and the Ten Commandments, 7 . 

.1 



For Full Discussion of Many of the Subiects 
Mentioned in This Booklet 

When We Go to Confession 

Confession Is a Joy? 
About Divorce 

Divorce , a Picture from the Headlines 
The Man We Can't Ign ;> re 

The Best Best Seller 
Who se Country is This? 

The Catholic Church and th e Ne gr o 
Race Riddles 
Why Are Jews Pe rsecuted? 
This Virtue Called Tolerance 
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Prayers Are Always Answ e re d 
Don't Say It! 
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I Can Read Anything! 
Don't Hate Your Job 
Shall I Be a Nun? 
The Call of Christ (Priesthood) 
The Pure of Heart 
Why Be Decent? 

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