Let's build a home! : marriage, the family, the nation


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Yale University Archives



Lefs Bnild a home!

• Marriage

• The Family

• The Fation

by a Trappist



NIHIL OBSTAT:
Fr. M. Mauricius Malloy, O.C.S.O.
Fr. M. Albericus Wulf, O.C.S.O^

Censores

IMPRIMI POTEST:
^ Fredericus M. Dunne, O.C.S.O.

AbhaSy B, M. de Gethsemani
die 15a Augusti, 1942

IMPRIMATUR:
I^J. A. Floersh, D. D.

Archiepiscopus Ludovicopolitanus
• die 25a Julii, 1942

1st Printing 10,000

2nd Printing 10,000
3rd Printing 20,000

COPYRIGHT 1942
by the

ABBEY OF GETHSEMANI, Inc.

DeacTdified



TO

FATHER CARL

Our Lady^s Assumption 1942



Just a Word
“To pervert, both in private and in public

life, the moral sense begot and fostered by
the Church, to lead human society back to the
miserable conception of paganism—after
having almost effaced the last vestige of
Christian wisdom and decency—such is the
dream which too many, alas! seek to realize
today. God grant that their attempts be
fruitless. In keeping with their purpose, the
efforts of the wicked are primarily directed
against the family, for they see clearly that
the corruption they seek to bring upon society
will surely be effected once they succeed in
overturning the foundations upon which the
family is based, since the latter is the nucleus
of civil society. Hence divorce laws are
introduced to put an end to the stability of
marriage. Hence children are forced to follow
an official teaching so often estranged from
religion and ruining the authority of parents
in a matter of the highest importance. Hence
countenance is given to the spread of a
shameful habit of selfish indulgence which
contravenes the laws of nature, strikes a blow
at the human race at its very source and strips
the marriage tie of all its sanctity.” These
words explain the purpose of our little work.
They are taken from a letter of His Holiness,
Pope Benedict XV, to Father Mateo rejoicing
over the abundant fruit the work of the
enthronement of the Sacred Heart in the homes
has borne and exhorting him to persevere in
an “apostolate so successfully begun.”
We must save the home; this is imperative

if we wish to save society. And only a home
founded upon the solid principles of Christian-
ity will serve as a bulwark against the in-
vading forces which threaten our very exist-
ence. To put it briefly, we must go back to
Christ and, to quote again from the above-



mentioned letter, ‘‘to follow Christ is to be
permeated with a lively and constant faith
which not only acts upon the mind and heart,
but likewise governs and directs our conducts*
Christ is the Way back to safety and sanity;
carnality, sensuality and materialism bring us
to destruction and insanity. Which do you
prefer ? The Eternal Wisdom willed to inaug-
urate the work of Redemption in the bosom
of the Holy Family. Today’s world needs
redemption badly, but it will not be redeemed
unless there are genuinely holy families
modeled after the pattern, so simple yet so
sublime, of Nazareth. And it is quite logical,
for the family is the source of life and the
first school of the child. If the fount is
poisoned the nation will certainly perish!
The following considerations should rather

have been entitled “Topics for discussion”
since they are not at all complete and since
they are only intended as starters or provoca-
tives of thought on a subject of paramount
importance: your home.



Divisions
PAGE

Just A Word 4

Opening Scene 7

Prosperity, the Nation, the Home 13

A Word on Marriage 19

Don's Party 23

Let's Build A Home 30

Christ, the Cornerstone 32

Religion and the Home 39

More About Marriage 42

Parenthood: Parents and the Home 45

Lunch Time 57

Your Home and the Commandments 61

A Little Heaven 67

Closing Scene 70.

Conclusion 71



Let^s Build A Home

I. Opening Scene.

“Say, mother can I have the gang over
tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow night? Sure, Don. What's up?”
“Well, I promised to have them over some-

time and I think tomorrow night would be a
good night because they all seem to be so fed
up on running around and not really having
a good time.”

“I thought you had a nice time the other
night.”
“We did, in a way, but it was just cruising

around as one of the fellows puts it—just
purposeless going from here to there.”

“I think I get it. You want a safe port to
cast anchor. Is that it?”
“Something like that, mom. You always

seem to get the idea.”
“Don't forget that I was a youngster once,

and though things are a bit different today
from what they were in my childhood days,
human nature is very much the same.”
“Say mom, that's a concession. Everybody

says that our generation is on the rocks, and
here you practically say that the young people
in your day were about the same as they are
today.”

“Just a minute! Don't go too fast. I said
that human nature is very much the same but
you must admit that times have changed. For
one thing, the speed of everything—including
our lives—has picked up considerably. Back
in the buggy days everything moved along
with proportionate speed: slow and thought-
ful; but today, everything moves along ”

“Speedily and thoughtlessly, I suppose,”
broke in Don. “I admit that you are right in
a way, mother. We do speed along and seem
thoughtless and careless, but you'd be sur-



8 Let’s Build A Home
prised at some of the thinking the fellows are
doing nowadays—even the girls.”

‘‘No reflections on my sex, fellow.”
“0. K. I take it back. But seriously, the

fellows and girls do get down and think every
once in a while. Do you suppose they’re satis-
fied to be drifting along aimlessly and getting
nowhere? They’ve got dreams and ambitions
just like you and dad had and they want to
get somewhere. But, oh, I don’t know. . . .
What’s wrong, mom?”
“As I see it, Don, when you go cruising

around looking for a safe port to cast anchor
you need a compass, a reliable one, and I’m
afraid that many young people haven’t got
such a compass or competent guide or rule
to bring them in safely to port.”
“Will you be just a bit more explicit? I

know what a compass is—learned about it
in the Boy Scouts; and I know what a guide
is. He is used on hunting and mountain climb-
ing expeditions and is supposed to know all
the trails. And when the trail ends, it’s his
job to lead you over the rough and unmarked
places. And rules—they have those in foot-
ball. They tell you what you can do and what
you can’t do and the penalties for infractions.”

“Right. And just what kind of a sea
voyage do you suppose you would have with-
out a compass; or expedition without guides;
or football game without rules?”
“The ship would probably never reach

port, the expedition would get lost and, boy!
what a mess the game would be! It would
probably turn into a free-for-all, especially if
the rivalry was keen.”
“Like between Notre Dame and the Army.

Now life is a voyage, an expedition and a
game. Take away the compass, the guide
and the rules and what happens to your life?”

“I think I get it, mom. A fellow has to have
a guide he can trust, one who has been tried
and found trustworthy; a guide who can cope
with every emergency and who will lead him
on from one conquest to another until he
attains his goal.”



Let’s Build A Home 9

‘‘That’s about it. You do think, don’t you?”
“Now, mother, no digs—I told you we do

think once in a while. Hey! look at the clock.
It’s time for me to get back to classes. I won’t
forget what you told me and I’ll have some
questions ready for you. Be on your guard.”
“Forwarned is forearmed—I’ll be on the

alert. But how about the party?”
“Gosh, I almost forgot about that.”
“You can take over the house and dad and

I will go down to the show.”
“Oh no, mom. We want you and dad to be

here too. I know all the fellows think you’re
swell because you treat them so nice when
they call for me or whenever they drop in.
And dad’s a pal.”
“Nice of you to say that, Don. All right,

we’ll stay home. And I suppose you’ll want
lunch.”

“Well, since you mention it .... a piece of
home-made pie or cake and some sandwiches
wouldn’t go bad.”
“And do you want dad to get something to

drink? Punch or highballs or something?”
“No, thanks. Let’s forget the drinks. It

seems that every place you go nowadays you
have to take a drink, whether you want to or
not. It’s so senseless, especially if you have
no taste for it at all. I like a drink once in
a while but I can’t see this idea of pouring
down one drink after another just for the
effect—just to get a kick out of it. And I
don’t think there is a more disgusting sight
than to see a woman drunk. It’s bad enough
when a man makes an animal out of himself
but when a woman does But I better
rush off. Thanks, mom—don’t forget the
lunch!” And giving his mother a hearty filial
kiss he dashed down to his convertible, which
was waiting to run him over to school.
And mother stood at the window and waved

to her 17 year-old son as he pulled away from
the curb and sped down the street. Yes, she
was proud of him. He was just beginning his
senior year in the Catholic High School and
was doing well. She thanked God that they



10 Let^s Build A Home
had been able to ^ide him safely this far
and whispered a prayer that God might con-
tinue to guide them in guiding this the last
of their sons to the home port, and that Mary,
the Star of the Sea, might light his path over
the tempestuous sea of life.

‘^Lunch,” she mused. '^Something to eat.
These boys are regular beggars, always ‘bum-
ming a handout.’ What will it be? pie, cake,
doughnuts, sandwiches ? I’d better look
through my index ”
“Oh hello, dad. You surprised me.”
“I was just making a couple of business

calls and I thought I’d drop in and see how
you were getting along.”
“Glad you did. I’m just trying to gather

some ideas for a lunch for tomorrow night.”
“What’s coming off tomorrow night?

Club?”
“No. Don is having his gang, as he calls

them, in for the evening and he hinted that
a lunch would be welcome. Any suggestions ?”
“Aw, all youngsters like pie and sandwiches

and maybe we could pop some corn.”
“That’s an idea. Remember when we were

youngsters how corn-popping and taffy-pulling
were favorite indoor sports?”

“I surely do, and it was real fun. I don’t
see why we can’t have those ‘good old days’
today,” he went on, musingly. “To many
today the home is just a place to get meals
and hang your hat, a wayside inn at which to
stop for a rest before starting off again on
the wearying search for pleasure, whereas it
should be the very center of everything. In
those days your whole life pivoted about the
home. You received your early education
there. Your first lessons about God, the
Blessed Mother and the saints were learned
at mother’s knee and as you grew up the home
and home-life had a very definite influence in
the formation of character. And even enter-
tainment. You didn’t go out and buy a good
time—you made it up in your own home:
games, story-telling, candy-making. ... Oh
I don’t have to tell you, mother. You enjoyed



Let’s Build A Home 11

those good times yourself and you know what
an important part your home had in building
you into a tender and devoted Christian
mother and a loyal and faithful wife.”

“That’s a long speech for you, dad, and,
thank you for the compliment. Yes, the home
means everything in the raising of children
and its social influence is invaluable. Re-
member how Father Carl spoke on that a
couple of Sunday ago? and how he called our
attention to the Encyclical of Pope Pius XI
on Christian marriage which stresses the
supreme importance of the unity and indissol-
ubility of Christian wedlock and lays bare the
forces undermining the sanctity of the home?”

“I think that was one of the best sermons
he ever gave. He realizes that the home is the
very foundation of human society. Undermine
the home and you undermine the nation, for a
nation will be very much what its homes are.”
“The truth of that is very evident in our

own day. Look at the number of homes
broken up and then look at the wretched
condition of society. God has never blessed
an age with equal material benefits and yet
there never was more widespread poverty,
misery and distress. Take away the home and
everything seems to go: God, religion, charity,
morality ”

“Or put it the other way: take God away
or put Him out of our lives and the home
goes, and everything noble and worthwhile
goes with it. God must remain supreme in
our homes and in our lives. If God is not
the supreme Ruler and Defender of a home,
no family can hold out against the fierce in-
roads and invasions made upon it today. And
it is we parents, first of all, who must recog-
nize that we are not masters even in our own
home—^we are creatures and subjects of God
and it is to Him that we must render an
account of those entrusted to our care.”

“Yes, and I think that if parents did stop
and realize their responsibility they would be
more zealous to fulfil their duties towards
each other and towards their children. I liked



12 Let’s Build A Home
the way Father Carl likened parents to
stewards into whose hands God has committed
the priceless treasures of human souls—souls
He prized so highly that He came down and
died for them and for which one day He will
demand a strict accounting. That will be a
dread day and especially for parents who have
neglected their duties.”

‘‘Well, mother, we’ve tried our best and we
can only trust in the mercy and goodness of
God towards poor sinners. This matter is so
important that no one can afford to overlook
it—neither parents nor children.”

“Yes, the children have to learn to love the
home, but it is the parents’ responsibility to
make the home the place it should be. Many
people condemn the younger generation but
are they entirely to blame ? Look at the
homes—if you can call them such—that some
of the youngsters come from: no God, no
respect for religion or law, no respect for
each other, quarrels, abuse, drunkenness and
all the rest. How can we expect those children
to be ideal, noble and God-fearing?”
“Oh, even such youngsters can turn out

O. K. if they are caught up by good compan-
ions or other good influences”; said dad, “but
they’ve got two strikes on them when they
come to bat and it’s a tough fight. There
was a young fellow in this morning. He
looked so down-in-the-mouth. After he fin-
ished his business I asked him what was the
matter. Well, it was a story we’ve all heard
quite often lately: broken home, no religion,
no aim in life—just drifting aimlessly. ‘Why
work, why struggle, why be noble when all you
get at the end is a nice headstone?’ he asked.
‘My grandfather was a lucky guy—^he honestly
believed he’d have a chance to make up for
mistakes in another world after he got
through with this one. He worked for some-
thing. But as for me, my parents broke away
from all that; they didn’t take any chances
on a future life, believe me. They’ve taken
all they can out of this one; they don’t even
bother to keep promises. They’ve been



Let’s Build A Home 13

divorced twice. It doesn’t matter much, I
suppose, but if I had a kid, I’d darn well see
that he learned to believe that he was at least
a couple steps above a horse or a cow.’* I
sent him over to see Father Carl. I hate to
see these youngsters, with such potentialities
for the good and noble, going to rot because
they were never brought up by proper parents
in a proper home.”
‘‘You don’t feel any worse about it than I

do. Oh, if parents would only realize that the
home is the first and fundamental training
school for their children and that nothing can
replace the home! The Sisters and Priests
and teachers worthy of the name can do and
are doing much, but they are only supple-
mentary—^the home is the primeval school and
the parents are God-appointed teachers,
especially the mother.”
“This is all very interesting, and I know

I could talk family with you for hours; but if
we want bread on the table I’d better be get-
ting on. If you need anything, call.”

“Bye, dad. Dinner at six. Oh, and on your
way, why not stop in and ask Father Carl to
come over tomorrow night?”

“That’s a splendid idea. He likes the young
people and they all go for him. Bye.”
And while dad is making his calls and

mother is looking over her recipes and Don is
at school let us touch upon the subject of the
conversations we have just listened-in on: the
home, the family and marriage.

II. Prosperity, the Nation, the Home.

We cannot lay too much stress on the im-
portance of the home and the family. Nations
rise and fall with their families. Our own
national history bears witness to this truth.
When did we enjoy the greatest prosperity?
and by prosperity we do not mean material
wealth. The sooner we change our standard

Actual case quoted by Alice Douglas Ke'lley
in her splendid pamphlet, “Boys, Girls, and Stan-
dards."



14 Let’s Build A Home
of values the better off we will be; and the
sooner we learn that we are born to live in
the world and not for the world, the more true
prosperity we will enjoy. Now prosperity
means successful progress and progress, in
turn, means a movement forward, a gradual
betterment, an advancement to a higher stage.
The application becomes clear when we stop
to reflect just where man is supposed to be
going and what his destiny is. If I were
born for this world, to live here for a short
time and then go down to a grave which would
mark the end of everything, I would be quite
willing to agree that prosperity means the
amassing of wealth, the attainment of honor
and position and all the rest that the world
has to offer. But man is born for higher and
nobler things: “Dust thou art, to dust return-
est, was not spoken of the soul.” Man is born
to be a son of God and to share the eternal
inheritance with Christ, his elder Brother. We
repeat: man lives in this world but he is
bound for heaven; and any progress, to be
real progress, must be a forward movement,
must approach him to his goal and final end,
whi^h is God and the possession of eternal
joys. Anything that takes him away from his
goal or hinders that progress is definitely
opposed to prosperity. We can build vast
steel and oil empires, we can put every wheel
in every factory in motion and we can give
everyone at least $30 a week plus ham and
eggs and yet if God does not come into our
considerations our country will not be truly
prosperous—nor will its pseudo-prosperity last
very long. What a fragile thing is material
prosperity! We all heard it crash some years
ago and the experts are still trying to piece
it together. Might we suggest that they call
in—if we may so speak—the divine Artisan
who some seons back called our poor world out
of noting and handed it over to man in good
order: “And God saw that all was good (Gene-
sis 1:25), that all was the way it should be?
He, and He alone, is able to restore sanity and
order to our poor topsy-turvy, insane, material



Let’s Build A Home 15
and pleasure-seeking world; and He will if
we only bow our proud heads and adore the
one true God—if we get down on our knees
and pray!

In the introduction to his excellent work,
‘‘The Holy Ghost,” Father Leen sums up very
compactly the basic ailment of today’s world:
a materialism that drags heaven-bound man
down to earth and crushes him, a materialism
that feeds him on bread which makes hungry
where most it satisfies. He writes: “Now it
looks as if there were about to sweep over
all the civilized peoples of the world, a philos-
ophy which threatens to corrupt utterly the
minds, the hearts, the manners and the morals
of all men. ... It is not merely bodies but
souls that risk being whelmed and drowned in
the destroying waters of this ‘modern deluge’
that, having taken its rise in the near East, is
spreading itself out on every side, East and
West, and carrying disaster in its course.
This evil system of thought degrades man to
a degree to which he was never, hitherto, de-
graded, since the foundation of the world.
Rejecting God, denying all religious, spiritual,
moral and even intellectual values, the philoso-
phy of the Communist menance, with a savage
intensity and a diabolical energy of apostolate,
proclaims that man’s horizons are limited to
this world and consequently that his aspira-
tions should soar no higher than the satisfac-
tion of his material needs. Having wherewithal
to be housed and clothed and fed, having a
sufficiency of bodily comforts, and being pro-
vided with the means to secure a satisfying
measure of sense gratification there is nothing
more to be looked for. Any ideal beyond or
higher than this is folly—is more than folly,
because it becomes a pernicious error militat-
ing against the well-being of the mass

—

Humanity. The fundamental principles of this
philosophy of Communism can be figuratively
and not inaptly compressed into this terse
statement: ‘On bread alone doth man live’—

a

statement which is seen to be a direct chal-



16 Let’s Build A Home
lenge to, as well as a flat contradiction of, the
philosophy of Jesus Christ.”
Man is hungry—very hungry. A recent

writer shows us modern man under the symbol
of a wolf roving hither and thither in the
endless and loveless desert that is Western

Civilization .... a howling human animal
crying for eternity.” Nor will Marx or Stalin
or Hitler satisfy that hunger. Jesus Christ
once said, and He is Truth Itself: ^‘Not in
bread alone doth man live but in every word
that proceedeth from the mouth of God.”
(Matt. 4:4). Man can taste or he can gorge
himself on the food of the flesh but it will
never satisfy, for it is only the food that comes
from the Spirit of God that will still the long-
ings of his heart. Saint Augustine was most
right when he wrote: ^'Thou hast made us for
Thyself, O Lord, and our hearts can find no
rest until they rest in Thee.” The only remedy
for society is a RETURN TO GOD—God must
again be enthroned in our hearts, in our homes,
in our courts, in fine, in our private and public
life. God must reign and we must serve; and
those who do serve will tell you happily that
to serve is to reign.
Now our forefathers founded this nation

upon the solid foundation of a firm belief in
God and an unshakable confidence in His
divine Providence. It was with hearts full of
hope and with God overhead that they sailed
from European ports and, once landed, that
they pushed on into the untamed vastness of
the New World. Many of them were looking for
an asylum where they could worship God in
keeping with their consciences. It was God
they were seeking, and each cabin that went
up was a little temple in which husband and
wife and children joined to praise the God of
all and to call His blessings down upon the
infant nation. The meeting-house was first
of all a house of prayer and then matters of
material welfare were discussed. Like the
early Christians, they invoked the blessings of
God upon their every undertaking. These men
—our fathers—had a true sense of values.



Let’s Build A Home 17

They knew that God must come first and man
second; that the spiritual welfare takes prece-
dence of the material well-being. And it was
in those days that our country prospered

—

spiritually, materially and politically. From a
handful of colonists it grew into a loosely
joined body that could challenge the mighty
British Empire. Their strength lay in God
and they were defending their God-given
rights of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.
We suggest a thoughtful reading of the
Declaration of Independence and the memor-
able address of Patrick Henry, ‘'The War
Inevitable, March, 1775.” It will give an insight
into, and an appreciation of, the deeply re-
ligious spirit of our founders—they recognized
God and did not ostracize Him from their
daily lives, their struggles and successes, or
their politics.
And it is this same spirit upon which the

nation’s homes were founded. God was the
supreme Ruler of each home, over each heart
and hearth—and that is as it should be; and
where God reigned supreme. His Immaculate
Mother was enthroned as Queen. Founded
upon such an unshakable foundation, what
towers of strength the pioneer homes were
and what noble characters they produced! The
best and greatest in our land came from
homes where God’s dominion was recognized
and where religion was not just a Sunday
morning affair but was the very life of the
family. Whenever anything was to be decided,
God was invoked; in times of sickness, trials
and hardships, hearts and eyes were raised to
the Crucifix where they found both strength
and inspiration to carry on bravely and un-
flinchingly. We who enjoy the fruits of the
pioneering hardships of our forefathers cannot
realize the almost insurmountable obstacles
they had to meet and hurdle. It was not the
work of pigmies but of giants which carved
out this our United States from the untamed,
unexplored, unmapped stretches of wilderness
which extended unknown miles to the west.
If their homes had not been cradles of man-



18 Let’s Build A Home
hood and if they had not been inspired by
noble ideals they could never have accom-
plished the task. They found their strength
and ideal in God.
However, we do not wish to imply nor to

give the impression that our nascent country
had the appearance of a vast religious com-
munity where every one was a saint and where
there was nothing to mar the symphony of
praise being offered to God. Unhappily there
were evil men. Pioneer homes were productive
of villains as well as heroes, of Arnolds as
well as Washingtons, of Booths as well as
Lincolns. Who has not read the novels of
Zane Grey whence arises the awe and fear-
inspiring figure of the rustler, the stagecoach-
bandit, the claim-jumper, who, shooting from
the hip, could “bulls-eye” man or beast within
the range of one or two miles? We may
question the marksmanship of these rough
characters but we cannot deny that there
existed men who had dethroned God and had
either placed themselves, gold, furs, cattle, or
land on the pedestal. I wonder if we haven’t
their counterpart today in the racketeer, the
hi-jacker, and in the numberless ^little
CaBsars’ so glorified by the films! And on
the other hand there were the religious
fanatics whose witch-burnings and other
equally condemnable practices led to many
abuses and did more to harm than to further
the cause of religion and national well-being.
Between these extremes there was the good

Christian home which, as we have indicated,
cradled the men to whom we owe our existence
as the land of the free. Free themselves from
the slavery of the lower passions they could
and did hand on freedom to their posterity.
Look into the homes, into the lives of our
nation’s truly great men. There was nothing
there of that selfishness, that avarice, that
greed and lust for power, which characterizes
the lives of many of today’s demagogues.
Lincoln came from a poor wilderness cabin,
but it was a home; and his public life was just
one noble sacrifice for his country—a sacrifice



Let’s Build A Home 19
so tragically consummated by the assassin’s
bullet. He was great, not in the way the
world calls great, but with a greatness that
comes from within—a greatness of soul. Only
a truly great man could write and deliver the
‘'Gettysburg Address” or compose the famous
and well-known letter sent by the martyred
President to Mrs. Bixby. Lincoln is an out-
standing example, but who can number the
multitude of truly great souls formed, reared
and cultivated at the firesides of our truly
Christian homes? Thank God there are still
many such homes today in our land producing
gigantic characters; but no one can deny that
the home as an honored institution has
suffered terrifically under the assaults of
neo-paganism, godlessness and material philos-
ophies. The home must again take its place
as a venerated sanctuary, and the family, as
a most forceful unit for national stability,
peace, happiness and true prosperity, must
be re-established on the solid foundation of
religion. God must again reign over our
hearts and our homes and then He will reign
over our nation—and where He reigns there
we find peace and prosperity and the happi-
ness we are all striving after.

•

III. A Word on Marriage.
Now of all agencies the Catholic Church is

the one which has done the most to foster,
sanctify and to preserve the home and family.
Recognizing the fundamental and essential
need of the Christian family. Pope after Pope
through the long centuries of the Christian
era has from his watchtower in Rome kept
watch over the home and has sounded the
alarm at the approach of danger. But too
often have their alarms fallen on deaf ears.
Like the Divine Master whose spokesmen and
vicegerent they are, the Vicars of Christ
have met coldness and opposition, and have
even had to undergo persecution because of
their noble attempts to save society from its
own folly. Men did not believe Christ, so it is



20 Let’s Build A Home
hardly surprising that they do not believe His
Ambassadors; but it is to their own cost. The
Son of God once said: ‘‘He that heareth you
heareth me; and he that despiseth you,
despiseth me” and “he that believeth not shall
be condemned.” (Luke 10:16; Mark 16:16).
History bears out the truth of these words of
the divine Master—if we need anything to
substantiate the truth of His words. The
tragedy of individual lives, of society, and of
nations is a sad witness to man’s perversity
and persistent pride, for what is more prideful
than to prefer our word and our way to God’s ?

In viev^ of the conditions, needs, errors and
vices affecting the family and society in His
day, our late Holy Father, Pope Pius XI,
published His masterful Encyclical “On
Christian Marriage.” Grieving that a “great
number of men either entirely ignore or shame-
lessly deny the great sanctity of Christian
wedlock or even, relying on the false principles
of a new and utterly perverse morality, too
often trample it under foot,” the Pontiff felt
it his duty to raise his voice “on the nature
and dignity of Christian marriage, on the
advantages and benefits which accrue from it
to the family and to human society itself, on
the errors contrary to this most important
point of the Gospel teaching, on the vices
opposed to conjugal union, and lastly on the
principal remedies to be applied.”
The pages that follow are invaluable. It

would be well for all—Christian and non-
Christian, Catholic and non-Catholic—to pon-
der the basic truths contained therein. A
return to a sane and religious outlook on
marriage is imperative if we wish to save
society and our civilization. One of the most
disastrous scourges that ever swept our
country is the vice of divorce, which destroys
the home. Now the home is the base and
foundation of the state. It follows that we
must stop divorce or ruin the state which
cannot continue to exist if its base is allowed
to crumble and fall. While many people are
divorced and some of them make new homes.



Let’s Build A Home 21

the inevitable trend of divorce is to break up
many more homes than it builds and to reduce
notably the number of children. And when a
home is broken up the parents and children
are separated, and the sweet ties that bind
father and mother to their offspring and to
each other are broken forever—and what hap-
pens to the children ?
We must learn to approach marriage with

a different attitude of mind—^with a religious
attitude, for Christian marriage is a Sacra-
ment of the New Law. Let us repeat—man
is born to live in the world and not for the
world, and thus everything he does should
approach him to his last end: God. Now
marriage is not just an adventure of short
duration—it is a state of life. It is, if we
may put it this way, a vehicle by which hus-
band and wife and the children entrusted to
them go to God. Man and woman bound to-
gether in a sacred union by a generous sur-
render of their persons one to another for
the whole span of life mutually aid each other
in attaining to their last end and in guiding
their children. In the mind of the Divine
Institutor it is something permanent, some-
thing stable and not just a flash of passion.
This union, thoughtfully and seriously entered
into, God blesses with an abundance of grace
and helps to enable the parties to fulfil their
God-given duties. Too often nowadays mar-
riage is entered into without much thought
and, what is more tragic, when the parties
are in such a condition that they cannot think.
What can we hope for from such marriages?
And then there are the marriages contracted
with the thought that ‘Tf we don’t agree, we
can always get a divorce”—and if you have
the price, a divorce is scandalously easy to
obtain in our courts. With such a mind how
can the parties hope for or expect the peace
and happiness they are seeking? and what
kind of a home will they have ?
And how many marriages are not entered

into under the spell of a romantic moon? The
parties suddenly decide to run off to one of



22 Let’s Build A Home
our matrimonial marts and get married.
Without seeking the advice of anyone, without
a thought of the future, without a speck of
reason they plunge into what God intended
to be a permanent union. One of the most
important—in fact, the most important

—

investments a man has to make, he makes with
a fluttering heart instead of with a clear
head and solid reason. The heart must play
some part, we grant, but it should not sup-
plant the reason—supplement, not supplant.
Would you think of investing a fortune in a
certain corporation because they send out
beautiful engraved announcements or because
the president of the concern has a pleasing
personality ? And supposing the company was
sound, you would hardly invest your all with-
out seeking the advice of friends or business
associates. Why invest your life with less
care and consideration? A large percentage
of divorces are traceable to excessive haste.
‘‘A young man takes a sudden fancy to a girl.
It is probably kindled by her complexion, her
contour, or the radiance of her eyes. A whirl-
wind courtship ends in a sudden elopement.
They awake from the honeymoon to discover
that they are as different from one another
as day is from night. The divorce court will
not be idle long.” (O’Brien, “Faith of
Millions.”)

If marriages were entered into with more
leisure and thought there would be no need
for many to lament afterwards: “If I had only
stopped to think! If I had used my head in-
stead of my heart I would have seen how
blind and foolish I was! I would have real-
ized that character, disposition, intelligence,
understanding, sympathy and unselfishness
are the things that count in making for the
happiness of the home and the permanence of
the union, and not the texture and color of
skin, radiance of eyes, contours, athletic
ability and other pleasing but superficial
items.”
No one has yet found a satisfactory substi-

tute for prudence and common sense. In a



Let’s Build A Home 23

matter of this importance the young* people
should exhaust every bit they have and draw
on that of their pastors, their parents, friends
and associates. The words of a ditty, popular
a generation ago, seem very apropos here:
‘‘Will some one kindly tell me.
Will some one let me know.
How I picked a lemon in the garden of love
Where I thought only peaches grow?”

IV. Don’s Party.

With these few thoughts in mind let us go
back to dad and mother who are awaiting the
arrival of Don and his friends. Placing a
vase of flowers, mother looks over at dad
comfortably hidden behind the evening paper.
“They ought to be coming in pretty soon.”
“Oh, it’s early yet. And you know how

long it takes some girls to get ready. Of
course, you were an exception ”

“Now, dad, no remarks.”
“Did you ever hear the story told about the

famous American humorist. Bill Nye?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Well as a young man he called one Sunday

afternoon upon his lady friend to take her for
a buggy ride. He waited in the parlor for
what seemed to him an eternity—probably a
matter of an hour. At last the young lady
appeared, groomed with meticulous nicety.
She had just opened the door to go out to the
waiting surrey when her eyes fell upon the
lean and patient horse. ‘What!’ she ex-
claimed indignantly, ‘do you expect me to ride
behind such a skinny nag?’ ‘But, my dear,’
replied Bill Nye, ‘when I arrived here this
afternoon that was a fat horse’ ”!
And struggling to keep a straight face,

mother rose gallantly to the defence of her
sex when the door broke open and the invaders
invaded.
“Here we are,” announced Don. “Dad and

mother, meet the crowd.”
There followed the usual round of introduc-

tions, hellos, pleased-to-meet-you’s, pleasant-



24 Let’s Build A Home
ries, etc., and under the charge of their hostess
the young ladies were led out to renew lip-
stick and rouge and to see to the other inevit-
able fixings-up that feminine vanity makes
so imperative. The fellows were soon at
home. Pipes and cigarettes were lit and with
the host’s permission, Walt, the ‘professor,’
invaded the library while Don and Jerry tried
out a new arrangement on the fiddle and
piano. Dad had the others cornered and was
repeating his Bill Nye story.
“Well Don, what’s the program?” asked

mother as she entered with her Venuses.
“Oh, we can roll up the rug and dance.

There are some good orchestras on the air
tonight. Of course, that’s just a suggestion.
What do you say, Dick?”

“O. K. wth me. . . .”
“Hey, Don!” broke in the ‘Professor,’ “can

we look through this family album?”
“Sure. I don’t think the folks will object.

Will you, dad?”
“Of course not. Go ahead.”
And who does not like to look through

family albums? They all made a rush for it
and soon, album pedestaled on a hassock, they
were in a huddle over scenes of another day.
.... It was a veritable babel of “Ohs, aws,
how kuaint,” etc., and each change of scene
brought its need of explanation which Don did
his best to supply. There was the old stuc-
coed homestead with its woodshed in the rear,
an institution whose disappearance in favor
of the garage and the oil-burner marked a sad
passing, for it was in the old woodshed that
many valuable lessons were impressed on the
minds—and anatomies—of young America.
Then there were picnic scenes, family groups,
uncles and aunts, wedding pictures and, oh,
how lovely the brides looked in their high-
necked, hooped gowns and how gallant the
grooms with their very stiff collars and flow-
ing moustaches. And here was an old daguer-
reotype of grandma when she was a girl, and
all the rest that a typical album should con-
tain



Let’s Build A Home 25

Dad and mom stood and watched the group
of typical young Americans. Ranging in age
from 16 to 21, they represented that most
important age period during which youth
passes into manhood and womanhood and
strikes out alone to face the world. They
wondered if the youngsters before them, so
engrossed in souvenirs of the past, were pre-
pared to face the future. Like the rest of
young America they danced, they smoked,
kept rather late hours, drank on occasion and
sought entertainment and recreation. Though
young in experience they all had, like other
young people of their age, tasted something
of the emptiness of the philosophy which
taught them to “eat, drink, and be merry, for
tomorrow we die”; they all recognized the
senselessness of a drifting and purposeless
life. They had ambitions—they wanted to get
somewhere and “having fun” wasn’t the goal
in life. No, they were not going “sour” on
life, but they were looking for something
more substantial, something more permanent,
something more reliable than the materialist,
the neo-pagan had to offer. Even though
most of them had been trained up in Christian
homes and grounded in Christian principles
they paused thoughtfully on the threshold of
adult life. There was something more than
curiosity in the “whys” they were asking.
Their parents had taught them that this or
that was “not nice” or positively evil. Now
they wanted to know why, and it was their
right to ask. Not that they had any right to
question authority but they wanted a rule, a
standard to go by when, after they had left
their homes or their parents had died, they
were faced with problems or situations to
solve. Seriously religious and thoughtful Chris-
tian parents could and did give satisfactory
answers; but what about the broad-minded,
the enlightened, the “intelligent” parents ?
What can they tell their children when they
ask, why? In her splendid pamphlet, Alice
Kelly gives their answer to the childrens’ why:
“Here is the world, and here is life. Do what



26 Let’s Build A Home

you can about it. We can tell you our own
experience; we can warn you that some things
are ‘not nice’ that other things are ‘wicked,’
that still others will make you ill—^but we can
give you no good and sufficient reasons why
you should be ‘nice’ nor why you should pre-
serve your health, other than those fallible
ones of social expediency. We have no rule
of life to give you. We believe we have
brought you into a world which has not much
to offer you, and since we have emancipated
ourselves from the ‘old beliefs’ we cannot hold
out to you any hope of anything after this
existence—so you must do the best you can.
We can only scold or weep or agonize or
punish, when you get lost in the fog into
which we ourselves have sent you.” And with
that ‘bon voyage’ they launch their offspring
on the sea of life. Can we be surprised at the
number of shipwrecks ? Even though they
get to “know their way around” at an early
age, is it fair to send them out without a
compass to an unknown destination?

Did you ever watch a ship being fitted out
for an expedition? Nothing is overlooked;
every emergency is provided for. There are
charts, compasses, sextants, sounding instru-
ments and every other instrument of which
there might be a possible need. The captain
or leader of the expedition hopes for the best
but prepares for the worst. Provisions of all
kinds are stored on board—foods, clothing,
medicines and everything that will contribute
to the 'welfare of the crew and the success of
the voyage. Now, can parents be less wise,
less provident, in launching their children on
the adventurous and no less dangerous expe-
dition of life? Can they afford to overlook
any possibility where the successful voyage of
the child is concerned?
And the children are demanding this guid-

ance, this direction from the parents. They
want a rule of life—a rule, a standard, by
which they can live happy and successful
lives. When they get out on the storm-tossed
sea of life, how are they going to conduct



Let^s Build A Home 27

themselves if they have no tried and depend-
able rule to go by? a rule that will care for
every emergency and pull them through the
tight places? Catholic parents have that rule
and those of them who live by it themselves
and hand it on to their children live happily
themselves and make for the success and
happiness of their children. Alice Kelly re-
lates the following: “I had a very dear friend,
mother of a large family, who lived through
the adolescence of her children with undis-
turbed placidity. Her relation with her entire
family was one of the most beautiful things
I have ever known. She said: ‘No, I do not
worry about the children. They go to confes-
sion and Communion regularly and they all
have strong Faith. They cannot be doing
anything wrong^”
And the writer knows a large family of ten

children. Based on the solid foundation of
Faith, that home was a model to imitate. And
as the children reached marriageable age they
married and their homes are reproductions of
the parent home. Religion, mutual respect
and love of parents for each other and for the
children make of these homes little heavens,
little havens of happiness where God and
love reign supreme. And today, the aged
parents, like wise admirals, have retired to a
small home where they live quietly and hap-
pily, contented that they have done their God-
given duties by raising up honorable citizens
for the state and for heaven. They continue
to follow the affairs of their children but with-
out anxiety or fear for they had “fitted’’ them
out wisely for the voyage to the home port.
But to get back to our group. . . . Dad and

mother are brought out of their reverie by
the sound of the door bell. They start for
the door but Don is ahead of them.

“I’ll go; it’s probably Father Carl.” And
opening the door he admitted the cherished
friend of the family—a friend who had ever
been loyal and who had given invaluable aid
in guiding and directing the children. Dad
and mom felt that they could never repay his



28 Let’s Build A Home

kindness. Brought up to respect the Priest
and the Priesthood, they reverenced their
visitor and had always taught their children
the same respect and devotion. They were
waiting for him as he entered.

‘‘Good evening, Father Carl. Welcome to
our home.”
“Good evening. It’s nice to see you again.

Don warned me about this gang ”

And by this time the gang had encircled the
priest and hosts. Most of them knew Father
Carl and loved him. He was soon introduced
to the others.

“Don, take Father’s things. And, Father,
what is your pleasure?”
“Well everything was so quiet when I came

in that I didn’t think the youngsters had
arrived as yet,” answered Father as he set-
tled himself in his favorite arm chair near
the fireplace.

“Now, Father. We can settle down and be
quiet once in a while,” returned Larry. ‘We
were looking through the family album and
imagining just how things were back in those
days.”

“I imagine they must have been rather dull
even in the gay nineties,” broke in Mary Eliza-
beth. “They didn’t have the radio, the talkies,
the automobile, and a lot of other things that
go to make life interesting.”

Father Carl smiled. “That’s true. They
didn’t have as much as we have today but I
think they enjoyed life as much if not more
than we do.”
“That calls for an explanation,” rejoined

Mary Elizabeth.
“Well,” started the Priest as he looked at

the youthful audience literally at his feet

—

some on the floor, others on footstools and
hassocks, “do you vivacious, peppy, full-of-life,
people ever stay in one place or stick to one
thing long enough to enjoy it? You’re rest-
less—always on the go from one place or
thing to another. Isn’t that about it?”



Let’s Build A Home 29

'‘You’re right, Father, but it’s the spirit of
the age—speed, and take pleasure like every-
thing else on the wing.” This from Joe.
"Now tell me, do you find satisfaction in

such a hurried, such a superficial existence?”
"Not real satisfaction,” contributed Walt.

"We may have some fun and get something
of a kick out of it, but it really isn’t satis-
fying.”
"Aw, he’s just an old kill-joy,” cut in Larry

good-naturedly. "He wants everybody to
settle down and be real quiet and read all
the time. That’s why we call him the pro-
fessor.”
"Extremes are always bad,” said the Priest.

"In medio stat virtus.”
"I know what that means,” boasted Don.

"It means that if you think about, dream
about, talk about and eat cream pie all the
time you get sick and tired of it.”

"In other words,” took up the priest, "we
must practice moderation in all things. What
is that saying .... ?”

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull
boy,” spoke up Irene.
"But that works both ways,” defended Walt.

"Some people want to play all the time and
never get down to serious reading.”
"And some people want to read all the time

and never play,” went on Irene. "Whoever
marries you will always know where to find
you. She will just have to look for a book
and ”

"Don’t mind them. Father. It goes on like
that for hours,” explained Don. "They’ll
probably wind up by having you marry them
one of these days.”

"Good! What the world needs today is
good Catholic marriages or, to say the same
thing in another way, good Christian homes
and families.”
"But to get back to this question of run-

ning around and restlessness—what would
you suggest?” asked Paul.



30 Let’s Build A Home
‘‘Moderation for one thing,” replied the

Priest. “Do you think it is necessary to go
out every evening?”

“If you had the kind of home I’ve got, you
wouldn’t care to stay around even one
evening a week,” answered Paul. “You see.
Father, my folks have been divorced and
married a couple times and, well, there’s not
much home left for us kids. We just come
and go more or less as we please and they
don’t worry a whole lot about it. If I hadn’t
met up with Don and his gang I wonder where
I would be drifting by this time.”
“I’m sorry to hear that about your home.

Come over and see me tomorrow and we’ll
have a talk about it. Maybe I can help.”
“But I’m not a Catholic, Father.”
“That’s all right. Drop over any time.”
“Thank you. Father, I will.”

V. Let’s Build A Home.
Noticing that some of his disciples were

getting a bit restless. Father Carl asked Don
to get a large sheet of paper and a crayon.
“We’re going to play a new game,” he an-

nounced. “I want all of you to help me build
a home. I thought of it on the way over—

a

conversation with a young couple about to be
married gave me the idea.”
“Who’s going to get married?” questioned

Alida with typical feminine inquisitiveness.
“Rex and Catherine,” replied the Priest.

“I think you all know them. They’re quite a
popular couple. . . . But to get back to our
game—we’re going to build a home and each
one must contribute his part.”
And spreading out the sheet of paper on

the little table provided by dad, he continued:
“We’ve mentioned family, home, marriage,

divorce, restlessness, study, play, radio, good
old days. ... Now let’s all pool our ideas and
see if we can put up a model home.”

“First of all, before beginning the actual
construction work, what do you do?”
“Get a loan from the Government,” cracked

Larry.



Let’s Build A Home 31

‘‘Go to the foot of the class, young man,”
smiled Father Carl. “And now that we have
successfully negotiated our loan, what is the
next move?”

“Pick out the lot, I suppose,” offered Alida.
“And then what?”
“Clear away stumps, brush or whatever else

may have accumulated and then start dig-
ging,” this from Don.
“Didn’t you forget something?” asked the

Professor.
“Oh, are you here?” bantered Irene. “What

did we forget?”
“How about a plan?”
“Good for you,” exclaimed the Priest.

“What a bunch of builders we are! WeVe
started to dig and haven’t even a plan to go
by.”

“I wonder. Father, if that isn’t the trouble
with our lives—^we either haven’t or don’t
follow a definite plan,” said Jerry quite seri-
ously and thoughtfully.
“That’s just what mother and I were talk-

ing about yesterday,” added Don. “Have you
thought about it any more, mother?”

“Yes, Don, quite a bit and I think Father
will give you your answer as the building
goes on.”
“Of course, we can’t build or live without

a plan,” agreed Father Carl. “It would be
as senseless as to launch a ship without rudder,
compass or destination. It doesn’t take much
to figure out just how successful a voyage
that ship would have ”

“Or how fantastic some of our sky scrapers
would look if they were constructed without
a plan—just haphazard piles of masonry. ...”
“Like the block houses we used to build

when we were kids ”
“That wasn’t so long ago, the way you

act! . . . .”

Remarks and “cracks” piled up and without
dampening their spirit and humor. Father
guided them back to their task of building.
“Now that we all recognize the need of a

plan, let’s get on with our building. Here,



32 Let^s Build A Home
Walt, you’re an artist and an architect. Sketch
the home as we proceed.
'The first thing, as was suggested, is to

pick out our lot. I don’t think anyone would
deliberately choose the slums to locate his
home—usually people look for a quiet and
respectable neighborhood. How about Glen
Oak Addition?”

"0. K. with me. . . .” "too far from town. . .”
etc., etc.

"Aw, let’s not argue about it. Glen Oak
will do. Father. What’s next?”
"We have to clear the ground of stumps

and accumulated rubbish.”
"And did you ever see an empty lot that

didn’t have piles of this or that or bill posters
on it?” observed Joe.
"Now before a young man and maid go

about getting married and forming their home,
what must they get rid of?”
"Bad habits,” offered Marilyn.
"Anything that may pop up later on and

spoil the marriage,” suggested Alida. "Just
like the stumps in the empty lot—if you don’t
get them out, root and all, they may damage
the sewers and plumbing later on.”
"Good. Anything else ?”
"Well I think that if you scrape away self-

ishness you’ve prepared your ground pretty
well for the big step,” summarized Walt.

"Splendid! Selfishness has absolutely no
place in the home. Man and wife must live
for each other and for the children—and the
children for the parents. All must work to-
gether for the good of the home. Such self-
sacrifice is the noblest and most far-reaching
of all virtues. It is just another word for
true love; and without love, what is a home?”

VI. Christ, the Cornerstone.

"If you are satisfied that the ground is
cleared, we’ll get down to digging and laying
the foundation. Now I think you will all admit
that the foundation is the most important part
of the house. What do you suppose would



Let’s Build A Home 33
happen to the Empire State Building if the
foundation was not deep and solid?”

“It would probably be all over Fifth Avenue
by this time,” came in Dick.

“It never would have gone up as high as it
did if they hadn’t sunk a good base in the first
place,” offered Jerry.
“Right. Now our lives are the same. If

they are not solidy ‘foundationed’ they will
never rise—they will be worthless.”

“Didn’t Our Lord say something like that

—

something about a house built on a rock?”
asked Alida.

“Yes, He ended His beautiful sermon on the
mount with that simile. Saint Matthew has
recorded His words for us in the 7th Chapter
of his Gospel ”

“Here it is. Father,” announced Walt and
he proceeded to read: “Every one therefore
that heareth these my words, and doth them,
shall be likened to a wise man that built his
house upon a rock. And the rain fell, and
the floods came, and the winds blew, and they
beat upon that house and it fell not, for it
was founded on a rock. And every one that
heareth these my words, and doth them not,
shall be like a foolish man that built his house
upon the sand, and the rain fell, and the floods
came, and the winds blew, and they beat upon
that house and it fell, and great was the fall
thereof.”

“There’s your foundation,” concluded the
Priest: “And who is the rock?”

“Christ Himself,” answered Irene.
“Good. Walt, there’s the first, the corner-

stone of our foundation.”
And Walt sketched a block and inscribed it:

Christ

“Now then,” continued Father Carl, “Christ
is the Cornerstone of our edifice : He should
and must be the rock upon which our indi-
vidual lives are built and upon which our



34 Let’s Build A Home
homes are founded. After the Last Supper
Our Lord was addressing His Apostles for the
last time and in the course of His remarks He
said of Himself: ‘I am the way and the truth
and the life. No man cometh to the Father
but by me.’ (John 14:6).”
“In other words,” observed Joe, “if we want

to go to heaven we must go through Christ.”
“Right.”
“Then He is the guide, the rule, we are

looking for,” declared Don.
“Right again. Take Christ out of our lives

and out of our world and what would we have ?
Our age is living on borrowed Christianity
now. The only thing noble or decent in the
lives of those who have rejected Christ is
what they have retained of Christianity. Take
that away and what will you have?”
“The paganism towards which we are

drifting at an alarming speed to-day,” re-
sponded Walt.
“How are you going to stop the drift.

Father?” asked Paul. “We’re being pulled
or carried along almost against our will. We
were born into an almost de-Christianized
world and almost imperceptibly we take on
the character of our surroundings.”

“Well now you’ve opened up a big topic for
discussion which I think we had better leave
for some other time. Right now, to answer
you in a word—cling to the rock which is
Christ, follow Him as your Guide and set Him
up as your Model, and you can’t go wrong.

If you cling to Him all the forces of Hell can
not overcome you, for with Him you are a
majority. One of the things that offends
God the most is that we do not put enough
trust in Him. You do not hesitate to trust a
dear friend, a pal, with your life: why not
God? He was Friend enough to die for us;
He came down to save us and to bring us the
force and strength to meet and overcome all
the obstacles along the way of life—^why not
trust Him? Sometimes when faced with the
trials and hardships of life we recoil, we feel
how utterly powerless we are of ourselves to



Let’s Build A Home 35

fight against the overwhelming forces of sin,
injustice and paganism—we feel ourselves
dragged into a whirlpool. It is especially then
that we must reach out and grasp His hand
and we can be sure that He will guide us
surely and safely. Christ came not only to
pay the awful price of our redemption but
also to lead us to God. He is our Model to
imitate and our Guide to trust and follow.”
‘'Now you’re answering my. question,” inter-

rupted Don, “but could you be just a hit more
practical ?”

“Yes, Father. Christ lived some 2000 years
ago and conditions were quite different then
from what they are to-day. How is He our
Model and how can we imitate Him to-day?”
asked Joe.

“If you want to double for a great actor or
actress, what do you do?” asked the Priest.

“Well,” answered Larry, “first of all you
have to know him very well and then you
have to learn to do everything just as he
does.”

“Or, in other words,” took up Father Carl,
“you have to reproduce him; you have to live
him. All right. Now Christ is our Model.
We must study Him and see just how He
acted in the face of the vicissitudes, the trials,
the joys, the disappointments and the various
circumstances of life.”
“Yes, but. Father, we can’t all go out and

preach the Gospel. Fathers and mothers have
to care for their homes and families and we
work and go to school. How can He be our
Model in these things?” asked Mary Elizabeth.
“And, too, Christ never went swimming or

golfing or to dances ”

“And He never drove a car ”
These and other remarks that followed

showed that they were really thinking and
that they were seeking a rule, a guide. Father
Carl reached out his hand:
“Here, Walt, give me that Bible. Now let’s

all page through it together. It’s the most in-
teresting and valuable book we possess and it
contains the answers to all the possible



36 Let’s Build A Home
Vhys’ of our earthly existence. It is a most
consoling friend and, in addition, it is the
greatest love-story ever written, for it is the
story of the love of a merciful and forgiving
God for His fickle people. The Book of Gen-
esis—the first Book of the Bible—begins with
our coming out from God and the Apocalypse

—

the last Book—ends with the coming of Christ
who is to gather us back to God ”

Answering questions and giving a running
commentary on the early Books, the Psalms
and the Book of Wisdom he came to the Gos-
pels. They were very interested to find that
the first and second Chapters of the Book of
Wisdom, written some thousands of years ago,
contained an explanation of the world events
of our own time: in the first Chapter is set
forth God’s benevolence towards man and in
the second there is an analysis of the philoso-
phy of life which man will frame when he
revolts from God. (We suggest a careful
study of these two Chapters.)

‘‘Gosh, I didn’t know the Bible contained
so many interesting things,” confessed Jerry.

“Sure, you can learn a lot and spend many
an enjoyable evening reading the Bible. Not
so long ago it was the custom for the whole
family to gather together each evening to
read the Bible. It had a definite influence on
their lives and made them great men ”

“Good for you, ‘Professor,’ ” approved
Father Carl. “Yes, the Bible and Religion
had a very definite influence on the homes and
families of our ancestors. We should return
to the custom. But to get back to Christ as
our Model. The Gospels contain not only a
life of Our Lord but a picture of Him. If
you want to learn to know Him, just look at
His portrait in the accounts of the sacred
writers. Someone mentioned dances. Well,
it doesn’t mention that Christ ever attended
any but He did go to the wedding feast of
Cana ”

“And that’s where He worked His first
miracle,” put in Larry,



Let’s Build A Home 37
‘‘Yes,” took up the Priest, “at the request

of His thoughtful Mother who sought to save
her hosts from embarrassment He changed
water into wine to add to the cheerfulness of
the feast. Christ was not gloomy. He was
very cheerful, friendly and obliging and we
can suppose that He attended other social
gatherings where by the charm, the dignity
and nobility of His manners, the kindliness
and thoughtfulness of His disposition He ex-
emplified all that a Christian gentleman
should be—and what a lady should be, too, for
the virtues and nobility of Christ’s character
were shared by the most charming of all
women. His own Immaculate Mother Mary.
Now you can attend your social affairs with
this picture of Christ before your minds. It
will inspire you to act as gentlemen and ladies
should and your activities will take on a new
character and give much greater enjoyment.
Not long ago I was deeply moved at a public
dance given by a Catholic young people’s
club. The dance was about to begin when the
president of the club held up his hand for
silence and going on his knees led the Hail
Mary which the other Catholics present and
kneeling answered, unashamed and unembar-
rassed, though there were quite a number of
non-Catholics present.* Of course, you can’t
do that at every social affair but it will illus-
trate what I mean. Take Jesus and Mary
with you when you go out and you can’t go
wrong.”
“Gosh, that’s ideal. Father, and the idea is

swell; but what about all the temptations that
come up when we go out?—and there are
many ...” asked Don.
“Yes, the temptations are many and violent

and it is easy to fall—and you would fall if
Christ didn’t help you. But here again He is
not only our unfailing help but also our
Model, for Christ Himself was tempted in the
desert. Bead Chapter 4 of Saint Matthew and
learn from Christ Himself how to battle and

This actually happened in the ballroom of a
large hotel in one of our large midwestern cities.



38 Let’s Build A Home
conquer temptations. And always remember:
you are not alone in the fight: Christ is always
there and with Him you can do and overcome
all.”

And in answer to the many questions, the
Priest proceeded to show how Christ is the
Model for all in every age and condition of
life, whether hardware merchant, insurance
broker, woodworker, student, factory laborer
or professional man, married or single. All
classes can find their inspiration in Him who
is truly all to all. As a child and growing
boy He is the perfect example of obedience to
parents and lawful superiors. And as a
young man we see Him working in Joseph’s
carpenter shop. At the end of the long and
hard day’s work He finishes His simple meal,
helps Mother Mary and then occasionally seeks
the companionship of some of the other young
men of the village. He did not live an isolated
life but took part in the social affairs, the
recreations and the gatherings of the villagers.
To them. He was the son of Mary and the
carpenter, Joseph, and as such He attended
the Synagogue and associated with those
around Him. He was perfectly human and
humanly perfect. God and Man, He adapted
Himself perfectly to the life conditions sur-
rounding Him and filled perfectly His role of
Son of man. And in all these circumstances
He is a model for us—parents and children
alike. He did not rebel at the injustice of His
fellow men, at the evils of the day, but accepted
them as dispositions of His Father’s will and
with indomitable courage he carried on. When
later on in His public life He is insulted, out-
raged, and made to undergo terrific suffer-
ings, He bears all patiently and resignedly. He
thunders and drives the money changers out
of the Temple when it is a question of His
Father’s honor; and He is moved—even to
tears—when it is a matter of human misery
and suffering. Yes, Jesus is our Model, our
Life. He is the Eock upon which we must
build our lives. Father, mother and child can
all find their guide in Him and a home “foun-



Let’s Build A Home 39
dationed” on the solid and deeply sunk rock of
Christ, will raise high—even to the highest
heavens; and like the Church which is founded
on Christ, the gates of Hell will not prevail
against it.

VII. Religion and the Home.
^‘Now I think we are ready for our second

stone,” continued Father Carl. “Any sug-
gestions?”
“Well Christ is the Cornerstone and we

must base our lives on Him so I suppose His
doctrine would be our second stone,” reasoned
Walt.
“Yes, but give us one word that takes in

all our relation with God and man.”
“Morality,” offered Anne.
“Dogma,” this from Theresa.
“Philosophy,” suggested Don.
“How about calling it religion?” demanded

Joe.
“That’s it—religion,” took up Father Carl.

“We’ll call that our second stone, Walt.”
And Walt added it to the first. . . .

Christ Religion

“Now, what is religion?” asked Father Carl.
“A system of faith and worship,” answered

Irene.

“Belief in God,” contributed Jerry laconic-
ally.

“Here’s a definition I ran across the other
day,” offered Walt. ‘Ht’s the complexus of
our duties and relations to God and to man.”
“That sums it up pretty well; but, strictly

speaking, religion has God for its object.”
“I know. Father, but if you adore God on

Sunday and treat your fellows unjustly the
rest of the week, I don’t think you have much
religion,” commented Dick.
“In other words, religion consists in a be-

lief in and a worship of God and fair treat-
ment of your fellow men. Is that it?”



40 Let’s Build A Home
‘‘Well, when we were going through the

Bible I read that Christ said that the whole
Law and Prophets were included in a double
command to love God and neighbor. That
would be my idea of religion,” said Paul.
From the general discussion that followed

we glean that religion is not only something to
be believed but something to be lived

;
not only

a code of dry beliefs to be taken out on Sunday
morning and put away nicely for the rest of
the week but a definite way of living, of
dealing with God and man. Essentially, re-
ligion is the complexus of our relations and
duties to God, but practically it also includes
or comprises our contacts with our fellow men.
It is, in a word, a composite of faith or belief
and practice.
Man must worship. There is in him an

imperious necessity of worship—a necessity
to practice some religion. Do away with the
true God and man must replace Him with one
of his own invention. Man realizes—and
rightly—^that he is insufficient in himself; he
must have a god: either recognize the true
God or make one. Man is looking for com-
munion with something beyond and above his
individual self, and this search cannot end nor
the longings be satisfied in anything created.
Nothing in nature can or will satisfy the soul
which hungers for God who alone can fill it

—

for God is the food of the soul. We have all
experienced this insufficiency of nature and
the need for God. And when faced with the
towering adversities of life, to whom can we
turn? We can only cry out with the Psalmist:
“Take hold of arms and shield: rise up to
help me. Bring out the sword and shut up the
way against them that persecute me: say to
my soul: I am thy salvation.” (Psalm 34:2-3).
We can be as bold and brazen as we will in

denying His existence—insane, the Psalmist
calls it (Psalm 13)—^but we need God and we
cannot do without religion, which is the way
to God, unless we wish to be miserable here
and hereafter. And unless the home is sus-
tained by a love of and belief in the one true



Let’s Build A Home 41

God, the least wind of adversity, the ‘'huff
and puff” of Satan, will infallibly blow it
down. At best, married life has its many
problems and difficulties; devoid of God and
religion, parents cannot hope to meet and solve
them satisfactorily. And very often, homes,
threatened with wreckage due to some mis-
understanding or some real problem, have been
spared such tragedy by the helps which re-
ligion affords. No one can deny the salutary
effect of religion on the individual with its
logical effects on the home and society. Let
us return to sanity by a return to God and the
faithful practice of religion.
In his pleasing manner. Father Carl had

supplemented the more serious remarks with
stories, relations of experiences, and thus had
aroused and sustained their interest, even
calling from them accounts of experiences,
anecdotes, conversions, etc. However, they
were not a quiet group. They were up and
down, moving about and munching on the fruit
and candies so thoughtfully set about the room
by the hostess. Dad and mother took part in
the discussions but they preferred to remain
in the background and leave the direction in
the capable hands of their revered friend.
The old question of one religion being as

good as another was brought up and discussed.
It was dismissed as being absurb, insane and
illogical. A little thoughtful and sane reason-
ing will demonstrate that. And someone
brought up the accusation that the Catholic
Church is old-fashioned and behind the times.
An accusation which is equally ridiculous for
the Catholic Church is the only social body
that has been able to live through the changing
ages since its divine foundation and to meet
the varying demands of each period. She
alone holds the solution for today’s ills, and
after today’s governments, man-made religions
and other human societies have gone back to
the dust, she will still be solving tomorrow’s
problems, for she is not teaching man-made
doctrine but, with Saint Paul she can say,
“Not I but the Lord. ...” (1 Cor. 7:10).



42 Let’s Build A Home

VIII. More About Marriage.

These discussions on belief in God and re-
ligion as fundamental led quite naturally into
a discussion of one of the basic and crying
problems of our age: marriage, which Father
Carl proposed as the third stone in the foun-
dation.

Christ Religion Marriage

Marriage can be and is one of man's greatest
blessings and joys and yet so terribly often it
turns into tragedy. And why? Because it is
not looked at in the light of the God who insti-
tuted it. It goes without saying that you
cannot have a happy home without a happy
marriage, and you will never have a happy
marriage unless it is approached and gone into
with the proper attitude of mind—and the
modern attitude is not the proper attitude! Let
me suggest again a thorough and thoughtful
reading of the invaluable Encyclical of Pope
Pius XI on the subject where he points out
what marriage is and should be and the
modern evils opposed to it.*
Before the enlightened moderns formijiated

their very convenient theories, Christian
marriage was looked upon as something
sacred—as a holy union which bound the
parties to each other ‘‘until death do us part.”
The words still find place in the ceremony but
do the bride and bridegroom realize what they
are promising? And too: “for better or for
worse.” How bad is “worse?” And how
“worse” does it have to become to serve as an
excuse for severing relations? The writer
knows of a case where the husband was
granted a divorce because his quite-a-bit-
smaller wife kicked his shins. The judge
suggested boxing gloves but, nevertheless,

The America Press, 53 Park Place, New York,
published a splendid translation in 1936 with
questions and references.



Let’s Build A Home 43
granted the divorce. Everything was legal
but we wonder just how the divine Judge
would decide such a case; or rather, how will
He decide it on the last day?
Like many other things that are sacred in

character and should demand reverence,
marriage is considered by many merely as a
means to satisfy the animal in man. Must
everything be sacrificed to the all-devouring
passions? Love, home, family, children, re-
ligion—and yes, even God—must either be
crushed underneath or pushed aside when the
passions demand satisfaction. Poor man! And
when will he be satisfied? When will his
passions be appeased? One, two, three . . . .
how many ‘‘marriages”? Saint Jerome, writing
on the divorce evil in his day, stated that there
was living in Rome a woman who had married
her twenty-third husband, she herself being
his twenty-first wife. Conditions, thank God,
have not become quite so bad to-day, but, will
we soon have to lament with Tertullian that
“divorce is the fruit of marriage?” We know
what happened to the powerful Roman
Empire. As a logical consequence of the riot
of divorce and immorality, of infanticide and
childlessness, which followed the stripping of
marriage of its sacred character, Rome had no
Romans to fight for her and she went down to
her destruction. In an adres’s to the members
of a graduating class at Notre Dame Univer-
sity, the Honorable Joseph Ransdell urged that
we “take this lesson to heart and apply it to
our own times. Simultaneous with the change
in the sacred character of the Roman marriage
came the belief that the marriage tie could be
broken; and once this idea was prevalent, fre-
quent divorce became only a matter of time.
As soon as the seal of religion was removed
from marriage, it became a mere transient
union. . . . The same is true of modem times.
As long as the Catholic view of marriage was
accepted throughout Christian countries, and
its sacramental character acknowledged, di-
vorce was unknown. But when the specious
doctrine that marriage was a civil contract, or



44 Let’s Build A Home
civil status, in which the Church had no con-
cern, was promulgated by the early reformers,
the sanctity and indisolubility of that relation
was denied. . .
The Church has ever considered and will

ever consider marriage as something sacred

—

something beyond the power of any human
law or human perversity. She teaches to-day
as she has always taught, that marriage is a
sacred and permanent union; and in this she
is only respecting and repeating the words of
the divine Master who, replying to the ques-
tion of the Pharisees, ‘Ts it lawful for a man
to put away his wife for every cause?”, said:
‘‘Have ye not read that he who made man
from the beginning made them male and
female? And he said: For this cause shall
a man leave father and mother, and shall
cleave to his wife and they shall be two in one
flesh. Therefore now they are not two but
one flesh. What therefore God hath joined
together, let no man put asunder.” (Matt.
19 : 4-6 ).

In every marriage there are two elements:
the divine and the human. God instituted it
as a Sacrament and formulated the laws
governing it; and man enters into the contract
by a surrender, or rather, by a union of wills
and bodies. Now, on His part, the divine
Lawgiver does not force the wills of the parties
—they are free to enter into the union or not

—

but once they have entered into it they must
abide by His all-wise rulings. Man cannot
without dire and tragic results attempt to
legislate for Almighty God or turn the sacred
bond into a vehicle to serve his perverse
purposes.

Listing the blessings of matrimony as off-
spring, conjugal fidelity and the Sacrament,
Saint Augustine summarizes very succinctly
the purpose and the whole doctrine of
Christian marriage. He is quoted by Pope
Pius in his Encyclical:

“By conjugal fidelity it is provided that
that there should be no carnal intercourse



Let’s Build A Home 45
outside the marriage bond with another
man or woman; with regard to offspring

,

that children should be begotten of love,
tenderly cared for and educated in a re-
ligious atmosphere; finally, in its sacra-
mental aspect, that the marriage bond
should not be broken and that a husband
or wife, if separated, should not be joined
to another even for the sake of offspring.
This we regard as the law of marriage by
which the fruitfulness of nature is adorned
and the evil of incontinence is restrained.”

A thoughtful reading and re-reading of these
words of the holy Doctor will shed a brilliant
light on today’s attitude towards marriage and
will serve as a guide or standard for those
either interested in the problems of marriage
or contemplating the step. Based upon such
a doctrine, the home will rest securely; but,
robbed of its sacred character and considered
only as a means of gratifying the animal or
serving selfish ends, marriage will serve as a
very unstable foundation and the home, totter-
ing from the very beginning, will soon crash.

IX. Parenthood, Parents and the Home.

‘‘Christ, religion, marriage,” read Father
Carl as he surveyed Walter’s plan. “I think
we should have another stone in the foundation
before proceeding to the superstructure. What
will it be?”

“Love,” suggested Irene.
“Yes,” replied the Priest, “but love is really

the basis of marriage, for it is only true love
that will unite the parties, heart and mind,
and inspire each to sacrifice all for the other.
Let us recall that we have our Guide in Christ,
our fundamental base and code of living in
religion and we have the true doctrine on
marriage, now . . . .”
“Father and mother,” broke in Larry.

“Someone must get married and establish a
home and unless a home has a good father
and mother it just isn’t a home.”



46 Let’s Build A Home
‘‘Quite logical, young man,” smiled Father

Carl. “All right, Professor, we’ll call that our
last stone.”
And the Professor obediently drew his last

block. . . .

Christ Religion Marriage Parents

“Now,” took up Father Carl, “if you had
the privilege of choosing your father and
mother, what kind would you select? Or, to
put it in another way, what qualities would
you wish them to possess?”
He was flooded with answers. For the most

part they were fully satisfied with the parents
God had given them and they did not hesitate
to say what they thought of these ultra-modern
parents who were setting the pace for the
youngsters. Their vehement condemnation of
such parents was inspiring and their comments
showed that parents who had “gone modern”
either to suit their own whims or in an attempt
to gain the “admiration” of the young, were
not only not admired but were definitely not
wanted. Thoughtful Walter insisted on the
duty of the parents to realize the dignity of
parenthood and the destiny of those whom God
places in their care.
We cannot insist too much on the importance

of good parents. Some years ago the writer
attended a lecture by a well-known sociologist.
In the course of his address, the speaker stated
that more than 85% of the cases of child de-
linquency were traceable . to bad homes and
negligent parents. We wonder what the per-
centage is today. Just a moment’s reflection
will convince anyone that if parents neglect
their God-given duties and let the children
grow up “wild,” without any moral training,
we cannot hope for much from them in the
future. And what about society? The mosaic
is only worth its component fragments!
Homes do produce noble characters, but,

alas! they also produce criminals. In an ad-



Let’s Build A Home 47
dress to college graduates, Bishop Sheil of
Chicago stressed the importance of the home
as a training school. To illustrate the tragic
consequences of parental neglect, he narrated
the following incident:
‘‘When I was a young priest,” he said, “I

ministered to the religious needs of the prison-
ers at the county jail in Chicago. Early one
wintry morning I was called to accompany a
young prisoner, twenty-three years of age, on
his death march to the gallows. He had com-
mitted a number of robberies that culminated
in the murder of a policeman who sought to
apprehend him. Just before the noose was to
be placed around his neck, he was asked if he
had any final word to say. Looking around
the death chamber, he spied a little group of
relatives who had come to witness the execu-
tion. Pointing his finger at his father, he
cried out: ‘I am about to hang because that
man, my own father, failed to do his duty.
He allowed me to run with hoodlums and
gangsters all hours of the day and night. He
never warned me against their ways, never
told me where it would lead to. Now I die in
disgrace on these gallows because my father
neglected to do his duty. He, rather than I,
should have this noose around his neck. He
is the criminal’.” The story needs no com-
ment. Where is your son going?
As we have indicated on another page, a

right attitude on marriage is indispensable.
Equally indispensable is a realization of the
dignity of parenthood. The primary end of
marriage is the procreation of children

:

parents become for the moment co-sharers with
Almighty God in bringing a human being into
existence. Now, a consideration of man’s
dignity and his destiny should convince parents
of the nobility of their office of parenthood.
Pope Pius XI, speaking of the child as the
first fruit of marriage, goes on to point out
the sublime destiny of man: “How great a
boon of God this is and what a blessing of
matrimony is clear from a consideration of
man’s dignity and of his sublime end, for man



48 Let’s Build A Home
surpasses all other visible creatures by the
superiority of his rational nature alone.
Besides, God wishes men to be born not only
that they should live and fill the earth, but
much more that they may be worshippers of
God, that they may know Him and love Him
and finally enjoy Him forever in Heaven; and
this end, by reason of man being raised by
God in a marvelous way to the supernatural
order, surpasses all that eye hath seen, and
ear heard, and all that hath entered into the
heart of man. . . . But Christian parents must
also understand that they are destined not only
to propagate and preserve the human race on
earth, indeed not only to educate any kind of
worshipers of the true God, but children who
are to become members of the Church of
Christ, to raise up fellow-citizens of the saints,
and members of God’s household, that the
worshipers of God and Our Saviour may daily
increase.”
And besides begetting children, there is

entrusted to the parents a mission hardly less
honorable than that assigned to Joseph and
Mary at Nazareth: the mission of fashioning
youthful hearts and minds according to the
divine Model. Their children, made to the
image and likeness of God and redeemed by
the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ, must be
guided and led, their feet must be safely
placed in the paths of virtue and nobility.
Whether their offspring will reach eternal life
or be plunged into eternal damnation is for the
parents to decide! We say this with reserva-
tion, of course, for the parents cannot be made
responsible for every reprobate—people do go
wrong in spite of splendid parents and fault-
less home training—^but the child is father of
the man and unless the parents see to his early
formation, they cannot expect to dodge the
responsibility for subsequent failure.
The dignity of parenthood is sublime but the

responsibility is immense. Let the parents
weigh it well for one day the Father of all
will ask them how they acquitted themselves
of their God-like duties. Parents may hand



Let’s Build A Home 49
over their task to others—to sisters, priests
and teachers—but nothing can ever substitute
for the home-training a child should receive.
The mother’s knee must be—and so it was
intended by God—the first school. There the
child must learn the noble art of loving God
and man; there he must receive his first
lessons in respect for God, his fellow men and
himself; there must the plastic mind of the
child receive the noble impressions which only
mother-love, mother-instinct and mother-char-
acter can stamp on it. If a child is robbed of
this early training there will be a void in his
life, in his character, that nothing will ever
be able to fill. Father and mother begot the
child—it is their duty to finish the work of
nature by training the young plant that it may
grow into a towering oak and reach even to
the highest heavens.
But in order to fulfil their sublime office

worthily the parents must be what God intends
them to be. There is a saying in Philosophy
which applies very well here: ‘‘Nemo dat quod
non habet: you cannot give what you haven’t
got.” It is but good common sense. How can
parents impart character, virtue, nobility, and
the other qualities that go to make genuine
men and women if they lack these virtues
themselves? If father and mother have no
respect for God and His religion, if they have
no respect for each other, how can they expect
their children to love and respect God and
themselves? If they do not respect the laws
of God and the commonwealth, should they be
surprised if their children turn out anarchists,
with no respect whatsoever for law and order?
or if the children refuse them the respect and
obedience that is due them as parents? And
if the parents fail in their duties towards their
children, have they a right to complain if the
offspring fail in ther duties towards them?
If the parents are unruly, harsh, selfish and
immoral, can they hope that the children will
be noble, generous and virtuous?

It is only when parents are deeply convinced
of the sublimity and responsibility of their



50 Let’s Build A Home

office that they will be the right kind of
parents^—and that conviction must come before
and not after the marriage, for the foundation
of the home is laid on the day of the marriage
and not after the children arrive. The time
to safeguard the home begins on the very first
day. Even before God blesses the union with
a child, the home has been prepared and if its
first development is not right it can only with
difficulty, as it enlarges, grow into the right
kind of a home. And how is the right start
to be made ? Simply by parents supernatural-
izing their lives, by directing all their energies
to attaining the goal of our earthly existence:
eternal life, and by letting the thought that
we are bom to live in the world and not for
the world color all their activities. In a word,
let parents base their lives on a firm belief in
God and on the realization that our only
reason for existing is to glorify God and to
save our souls and those He has placed in our
care. Christ once promised—and His promises
are never broken—that if we seek first the
kingdom of God all things would be given us:
peace, happiness, true joy and eternal life.
And experience shows that it is the parents
who are conscientiously seeking the Kingdom
of God that have true peace and happiness in
spite of trials and hardships and who reign as
king and queen over noble households.
With a view to producing the right kind of

homes, the Church (in her old-fashioned way)
has always insisted on the importance of a
serious and thoughtful courtship. We say
serious and thoughtful to distinguish it from
the modern idea of courtship which is con-
sidered as a time for levity and amusement.
Certainly, the young people should have a
‘‘good time” but that is not the principal
purpose of courtship which is the most
important period in a young person’s life.
It is while “going together” that each must
find out whether the other has the qualities
needed to be a good husband or wife. As
we have indicated on an earlier page, good
looks, athletic ability, etc., are pleasing but:



Let’s Build A Home 51
not essential. Character is what is needed
in a good husband and wife, in the future
father and mother. Has he the character,
the qualities needed to father my children
and to build up a happy home? Would
I choose her to mother my children, to train
and develop them? He’s an excellent golf
player, but what kind of a father and husband
would he make? What about his religion?
Marriage won’t change the character of the
parties suddenly! You will be quite the same
—the same qualities, defects, weaknesses, ten-
dencies—after you say ‘‘I will” as before.
Don’t think that the boy friend .who has no
respect for you during courtship will enthrone
you as queen in his home after marriage. And
if she is fickle and scatter-brained now, and
thinks only of running around, she will be the
same after the ceremony. Dont’ look for
miraculous changes—in spite of ardent prom-
ises ! Living together may and very often does
erase some defects but generally you remain
fundamentally the same after marriage as be-
fore. The time to decide ia before the mar-
riage, not after. And the thoughtful young
people during courtship will be the happy
parents after marriage.
Now what qualities should we demand in

the good father and mother? What qualifies
would you require? Make your own list. It
is not our purpose to detail them in full but
merely to give an indication.

First of all, as we have insisted throughout,
the parents should be deeply religious, and by
that we do not mean that they should make a
parade of their piety or that they should be
continually preaching to their children. This
is not at all necessary and is often very harm-
ful. Let their religion be so much a part of
their character and so influence their actions
that there will be no need of preaching. If
the children see that their parents have a love
and respect for God and practice their religion
faithfully, they will be inspired to love and
obey them. If father and mother have a deep
respect for one another, the children will not



52 Let’s Build A Home
fail to reverence them. If every phase of the
home life is penetrated with a truly Christian
spirit, the children cannot but take on a nobil-
ity of character. Today’s parents must return
to some of the good old-fashioned practices
which had such a definite influence in the
formation of men and women in past decades
—practices simple in themselves but rich in
fruit. For example, there is grace before and
after meals. One of the greatest sins of our
age is ingratitude—ingratitude towards God,
parents and benefactors. Parents themselves
will testify to this. Many children take all
they can from home and fail,—or should we
say, forget—to say ‘‘thank you.” And how
many are there who think of thanking God for
health, sunshine, liberty, friends, success ?
The little practice of grace—^which means
thank you—^before and after meals would do
much to train us in the habit of saying thanks
to God and man. And then there is the Bible
reading we mentioned before. Families used
to gather—some still do,—and the father
would read a chapter or maybe a few verses
and give an explanation which very often
would give rise to very profitable discussions.
Not only did they acquire true knowledge and
wisdom and the answer to the day’s problems
by this practice but they were blessed with an
'increased love for and closeness to the Author
of those chapters: God Himself. It is said
that we take on the character of the books we
read. If we read trash, our minds will soon
resemble a trash heap. While on the other
hand, if we read books with character, our
minds are definitely influenced and ennobled.
And can we find a book with more character
than the Bible ? And we might also recall the
happy practice of night prayers in common,
still found but, alas! only too rare. Immedi-
ately after the evening meal the family joined
voices and hearts in thanking God for the
blessings of another day and begging His
continued protection over their lives and their
homes. How could men help being noble and



Let’s Build A Home 53
virtuous when these and many other little
practices formed a part of their daily lives?
And then, parents should be such as to

attract and enjoy the most intimate confidence
of their children. If they take a sympathetic
interest in their plans and projects and prob-
lems, the childrens’ hearts will always be open
to them. Parents should play and plan with
their offspring. Many parents are too grown-
up. The happiest parents are those who get
down on the floor with junior or Mary and
play train or dolls. And as these youngsters
grow up dad and mother will not be excluded
from their plans, as many parents complain
that they are. Can we blame the children for
seeking recreation and counsel elsewhere if
dad hides grouchily behind the evening paper
and mother, tired from gadding about all day,
has no time to plan and dream with Mary
who is passing through her first stage of
romance? To sum up, parents must be pals
to

^

their children. It is quite natural that
children should turn to their parents when
anything is to be done or decided but if they
meet only a half-hearted or even cold response
they will go elsewhere. It spells tragedy in
many cases when the parents lose the confi-
dence of their children.

If we compare the home to a human body
we can liken the father to the head and the
mother to the heart; and the analogy is quite
fitting. Not that dad had no heart or that
mother has no head, but each fulfils in a
peculiar way the role symbolized by the heart
or head. God’s way is the best and He made
the father to be the head of the family. The
head is not directed by the members of the
body but guides and directs them. But strength
and rule must be tempered with gentleness:
this is the mother’s role as the heart. The
strength of man is required for the protection
and upbuilding of the family but the gentle-
ness of woman is just as necessary to restrain
that strength and to sustain it.
Commenting on the words of the Apostle

St. Paul: ‘‘Let women be subject to their



54 Let’s Build A Home
husbands. . . Pope Pius XI brings out
beautifully the relationship that should exist
between the head and heart of the family

:

‘‘This subjection, however, does not deny
or take away the liberty which fully be-
longs to the woman both in view of her
dignity as a human person, and in view
of her most noble office as wife and
mother and companion; nor does it bid
her obey her husband’s request even if not
in harmony with right reason or with the
dignity due a wife; nor, in fine, does it
imply that the wife should be put on a
level with those persons who in law are
called minors, to whom it is not customary
to allow free exercise of their rights on
account of their lack of mature judgment,
or of their ignorance of human affairs.
But it forbids that exaggerated license
which cares not for the good of the
family; it forbids that in this body which
is the family, the heart be separated from
the head to the great detriment of the
whole body and the proximate danger of
ruin. For if the man is the head, the
woman is the heart, and as he occupies the
chief place in ruling, so she may and
ought to claim for herself the chief place
in love.
Again, this subjection of wife to hus-

band in its degree and manner may vary
according to the different conditions of
persons, place and time; in fact, if the
husband neglects his duty, it falls to the
wife to take his place in directing the
family. But the structure of the family
and its fundamental law established and
confirmed by God, must always and every-
where be maintained intact.
With great wisdom Our predecessor

Leo XIII, of happy memory, in the
Encyclical which we have already men-
tioned on Christian marriages, teaches
with regard to this order to be maintained
between man and wife: “The man is ruler



Let’s Build A Home 55

of the family, and the head of the woman,
but because she is flesh of his flesh and
bone of his bone, let her be subject and
obedient to the man not as a servant but
as a companion, so that nothing be lack-
ing of honor or of dignity in the obedience
she pays. Both in him who rules and in
her who obeys, since each bears the image,
the one of Christ, the other of the Church,
let Divine charity be the constant guide
of their mutual relations.”

Further comment would be superfluous. If the
relationship described above exists between the
parents, the home will be ‘‘Home sweet home.”
Do not think that it is the indulgent parents

who are most loved by their children. The
greatest affection of children goes out to
parents who were loving but firm and who
worked for their welfare regardless of their
whims and caprices. And by firmness is not
meant severity. A father or mother can be
very firm in saying “no” to a son or daughter,
or in disciplining^ them in this way or that,
and at the same time be very loving and kind.
Children do not respect weakling parents who
give in, who prefer passing peace to the last-
ing good of their offspring. Children are like
men: they hate to submit to others but when
they find someone who is really their master,
and especially when it is for their own well-
being, they admire him. Let father and mother
be firm but loving masters in their home and
the children will be happy and loving subjects.
Did we go on, our list would be intermin-

able. I feel sure that the reader will be able
to complete it for himself. There is self-
sacrifice, the basis of true love; consideration
for others; a love of the home and home-life;
an unshakable belief in the supernatural and
in the sublime dignity and destiny of man;
and an intense love of God, and the things of
God. We cannot repeat too often that religion
must be the solid ground upon which we found
our lives and homes. We are destined to go to
God and religion is the way, the only way.



56 Let’s Build A Home

Riches, honors, position, your success and that
of your children will all vanish one day. If
God and religion were not a part of your life
here below, you will face eternity with empty
hands. And parents, what will the divine
Judge say? What will your children say?
Under the able guidance of Father Carl

the discussion went on with much life and
interest—Don is telling how when his older
brothers were just kids dad used to take them
out to the end of 7th Street in the winter time
and go sledding:

‘'He ‘belly-flopped,’ rode end on the tobog-
gan and did just like all the kids. I think you
had more fun than all the youngsters put to-
gether, didn’t you, dad?”

“I don’t know about that, but we surely had
great fun. And I wasn’t the only dad there:
many other fathers took their youngsters out.
And, to get back to our subject, I think that
is a great need today: joint recreation:
parents and children together, sledding, golf-
ing, swimming, camping, studying, planning.
Let them do things together. In that way
they will share happiness as well as ups and
downs and each will benefit by the company
of the other.”

“That’s a splendid idea, but,” protested
someone, “aren’t children or parents to do
anything or to go anywhere without the
others ?”

“Don’t take our host too literally,” pleaded
Father Carl. “It is quite natural that each
has favorite activities, recreations, etc., in
which the other does not take part. Because
dad bowls it does not follow that the whole
family should bowl. But there should be a com-
munity of interests in the family—each should
work for the welfare of the whole and when
anything of serious nature is to be decided
which affects the whole, why not hold a family
council? Too often nowadays young people
get themselves, and very often the whole fam-
ily, involved in some legal affair, some busi-
ness deal, without so much as consulting the



Let’s Build A Home 57

others. I suppose it is the independent spirit
of the age but prudence dictates otherwise.

‘‘And too, there is this question of marriage.
Many enter it without even a thought of con-
sulting parents or brothers and sisters or
someone older than themselves—and very often
with tragic results. Someone has said that
love can be a mild form of insanity. Often-
times I have heard young married people say
that they must have been crazy to marry such
a person. . . . Perhaps they were. When
young people are enamored of each other, they
are in a trance—delightful, maybe, but there
must be an awakening. And then ! They
say love is blind. At least it is not always
clear-sighted. That is why consultation will
do the young lover no harm. . .

X. Lunch Time.

“Come and get it?” broke in Don from the
doorway in spite of his mother’s injunction to
announce lunch like a gentleman. Then
catching himself, he begged in his most polite
way, “Would they please come in to lunch?”
Catching Marilyn by the arm he intoned,
“Here comes the bride” and led the party to
the buffet which mother had literally loaded
with home-made delicacies.
Making sure that Father Carl and dad were

served first—dad protesting that he should
wait for her—mother turned the buffet over
to the youngsters. Hungry hands reached out
and soon the buffet looked like the South
after Sherman had passed through. Noticing
that there were no napkins—it was really
Don’s fault, for mother had told him to put
them out—Larry villainously repeated a story
he had read in the “Reader’s Digest” some
months before.

“It seems,” he narrated, “that at a buffet
supper at Harpo Marx’s home in Hollywood,
guests were inconvenienced to find no nap-
kins. Noticing it, Oscar Levant ‘covered up’
for his friend. ‘Due to the high cost of liv-
ing,’ he announced, ‘there are no napkins—^but



58 Let’s Build A Home
from time to time a woolly dog will pass
among you’.”

The story met with mock disgust, boos, and
other acclamations of appreciation. ‘‘Truly a
prophet is not without honor except in his own
country,” thought Larry. However, Don
caught the hint—could he miss it?—and soon
the guests were supplied with napkins and
apologies.

The conversation became quite general. Don
was telling of the boxing matches he had
attended some evenings before. The main
bout of the evening was between an Italian
and, well, he didn’t know about the other.
There were the usual announcements, instruc-
tions to the fighters and, as the newspapers
put it, “8,000 spectators were on edge.” “And
just as the gong sounded,” went on Don, “the
Italian made a big sign of the Cross and
sprang from his corner. I tell you I was
impressed and from the remarks I heard I
know a lot of other people were too.”*

“Blood will tell every time,” came in Jerry.
“It tells in cattle, in horses and in dogs; and
it tells in people too. If you have been brought
up in the right kind of a home it will show
through your actions. That Italian probably
has a good old pious mother who taught him
to say his prayers and to begin everything,
even a fight, with a sign of the Cross.”

“The early Christians never began anything
without a prayer or the sign of the Cross,”
added Walt. “What Latin words did they
use. Father?”

“The usual form was ‘adjutorium nostrum
in nomine Domini—our help is in the name of
the Lord,’ but there were others. Many
people keep up the custom today.”

“I know dad never starts out with the car
without a sign of the Cross and some little
ejaculation,” offered Joe.

This actually happened in a small city of
Kentucky.



Let’s Build A Home 59
‘^Yes, and it has brought us to our destina-

tion and back safely many times, I am sure,”
finished dad.

‘^That’s something like ‘blessing the hour’,”
said Irene. “I know a little old French lady
who says a Hail Mary when the clock strikes
the hour. She calls it ‘blessing the hour’ and
so dedicates each waking hour to the Queen
of Heaven.”
“That surely is a beautiful custom,” com-

mented mother.
Then everybody began to remember this

little incident or that: how mother pinned
miraculous medals on their swimming suits
before they went out, or made sure they had
their scapulars of Our Lady; how the kids
always made a sign of the Cross before plung-
ing into the “old swimming hole,” etc., etc.

“I admire these customs,” spoke up Paul.
“Why don’t you Catholics keep them up? or,
to be frank, why are you Catholics ashamed
of your religion out in public? You have, to
my mind, the only true faith, a faith that
meets every exigency of life and a faith that
fits in everywhere and,—well, I don’t know,
you seem to back up when it comes to ‘practic-
ally’ practicing your faith. I don’t mean to
be offensive. Father, but I feel I can be frank
here.”
“You are quite right, Paul. Many of our

people do just that. They believe firmly but
hesitate when it comes to the every day prac-
tice of those things distinctly Christian. They
take on the ways of the world readily enough
but. . . .”

“They just don’t live up to their blood,”
finished Alida. “I was out to dinner the other
day with a Catholic young man and before
beginning to eat I signed myself and said
grace, quietly and reservedly. He protested,
saying that you were not supposed to do that
in public. Well, I don’t believe in making a
big show of it, but why should I be ashamed
of my religion? Christ isn’t ashamed of me,
why should I be ashamed of Him? And I told
him too. . . .”



60 Let’s Build A Home
^‘Good for you!” applauded Dick. “My

mother is the same way. She says that people
who know you are Catholic and who see that
you don’t live up to your faith don’t think
much of you as a man and, quite naturally,
look down upon your religion. And on the
other hand, they respect your religion and you
if you are a man of conviction and practice
your faith.”
“And your mother is right,” agreed the

Priest. “Very often just a sign of the Cross
in public is enough to attract a soul to the
Church. A Christian, and more particularly,
a Catholic, is a marked man in his community
and if he is brave in conquering human respect
and even fear, he will do much for the good
of religion. He bears the mark of Christ on
his soul and if he is a real man, all his acts
will bear the same stamp. Paul Claudel has
some beautiful words on this in his meditation
on the sixth station where Veronica wipes the
face of Jesus. It goes something like this:
‘Teach us, 0 woman brave, to conquer human

fear.
To whom Christ is not an image but the truth.
Will come the questioning glance of other men.
He dwells on higher plane; he thinks apart.
Some strange love holds him distant; he is

not the same.
An adult man, he says his beads; he tells his

sins;
Friday he fasts; and with the women goes to

Mass.
Of course, he rouses laughter, yet he irritates.
Let him beware, for on him rests the eye of all.
Let him beware each step. He, sign and

symbol is.
Each Christian, though unfit, is likeness true

of Christ.
The face his soul doth show is reflex small
Of that true Face of God, debased yet glori-

ous.’

And Saint Paul, too, urges the Christians to live
up to the high vocation to which they are called.

“It all goes back to the home and the train-
ing received there. If the children are trained



Let’s Build A Home 61
up in a good atmosphere where God and His
religion are respected and practiced and where
these little observances are a part of the daily
life, they will develop into men and women of
character and conviction and will bear worth-
ily the stamp of Christ.”

“You know, Father,” observed Joe, “many
people really shudder when the word religion
is mentioned, but you make it so sane and
logical. As I get it, it just means living a
good, clean, common-sense life in keeping with
God’s laws. Is that it?”

“Very good,” praised Father. “Yes, it is
just leading our normal life, enjoying the
normal recreations, carrying on our legitimate
business, according to the wishes of God and
for God;—and always with this thought in
mind: I am made for God and Heaven and not
for this earth and hell. A little thinking will
show you how logical Christ is, how safe it is
to follow His way and how much happiness is
to be found in loyalty to the King of kings.”

“It all comes back to Christ, then,” summed
up Don. “He is our Model to imitate, our
Way to follow, and our trusty Guide over the
paths of life.”

“Yes, He is the Rule of life you are looking
for. Follow Him and you will never go wrong.
When you come to a crossroad, when you are
faced with a temptation, a trial, ask Christ:
He will tell you the way. He is a trusty Guide,
having been over the road before. In His 33
years on earth He faced all the ups and downs
we have to face and He knows how to meet
them. Ask Him. He will not only tell you but
He will help you—if you let Him—over the
rough places. . . . And that brings us back to
the house. . . .”

XI. Your Home and the Commandments.

They had all finished lunch by this time
and the girls had helped mother take the
things back to the kitchen. Meanwhile Walter



62 Let’s Build A Home
had finished his sketch. It looked something
like this. ...

Father Carl eyed it with good-natured
criticism, picking out flaws in size propor-
tion, styling, etc. The rest examined it with
even more ‘‘venom.” Poor Walt was crushed.
It was Don who staved off further persecu-
tion by bring the conversation back to
Christ as the Guide of our lives.
“How about finishing our house, Father?”
“All right. Let’s see ... we have our foun-

dation—a very solid one—but it is useless
unless we build upon it, unless we practice
what we believe. Now the framework of our
little house represents our lives, or rather,
those means intended to direct our lives in
accordance with our beliefs. And here is
where we come back to Christ, our Guide.
Jesus not only taught a doctrine. He lived it.
His whole life can be summed up in one word,
obedience—obedience to the will of His
Heavenly Father. And that is just another
way of saying obedience to the laws of God.
“Now the law of God under the Old Testa-

ment can be summed up in the Ten Command-
ments which, in spite of the remark I heard
the other day: that the 20th century had made
a joke of them, retain their full force to-day as



Let’s Build A Home 63

ever. When Christ came and set up the new
dispensation, He summed up the law and the
prophets in a two-fold command of love: love
of God and neighbor. Why not label the up-
rights, in fact, the whole framework of our
little house, the Commandments of God and
of the Church for they regulate our conduct
in accordance with our belief while at the same
time they save and protect us from moral in-
vasion and ruin? Let them act as a protect-
ing wall against the spirit of atheism,
anarchy and so-called liberty so prevalent to-
day. In a word, let the foundation represent
our Dogma, what we believe, and the frame-
work, our moral code: what we are to do.

‘Teople protest that the law of God restrains
them and takes away their liberty. How about
the guard-rails along the highway? Shall we
have them removed since they prevent me from
plunging off into the ditch ? Laws are benefi-
cial guides, not harmful restrictives. The
divine Lawgiver expresses His will in His
commands which He intends as guides to lead
us to Him. All He asks is obedience, and
obedience we owe Him since He is God and
we are men. He the Creator and we the
creatures.

“It’s getting rather late to go into details
on all the Commandments, so let’s single out
one which has a close relation to our little
discussion. What is the fourth Commandment,
Joe?”

“That’s easy. Father. Honor thy father and
thy mother.”

“In other words, obedience, and that seems
to be an extremely difficult assignment for
the 20th century. We have heard so much and
have been taught so much about ‘rugged indi-
vidualism,’ freedom to develop, no restrictions,
etc., etc., that our age seems to have forgotten
the meaning of the word obedience.”
.“Well, Father, you must admit that it is

hard at times to submit your will and judg-
ment to others, even if they are your parents
or legitimate superiors,” defended Anne.



64 Let’s Build A Home
‘‘Oh, granted. Obedience is very hard and

irksome at times but if we have the proper
respect for our parents and superiors and
realize that they command us in the name of
God, the command will take on an entirely
different appearance. And as a rule the com-
mands given are not so terrible. In fact, if we
would only stop to think for a minute we would
see that parents have only the welfare of their
children at heart. I know that when dad or
mother says that you cannot go out with so
and so or that you must do this or that, or
that your dress is too short, you know better,
but, as I say, just stop to think for a minute
and you will realize that dad and mother have
been through it all and that they know pretty
well what they are talking about. Would you
rather have them be indifferent and let you
come and go just as you please, as many
parents do to-day?”
“Gosh, no. Father,” came in Anne again.

“We do think we are pretty big sometimes and
that we know it all, but I guess you are right.
In the long run the folks know what is best.
I know myself that if I had listened to them
I would have been spared some heart-breaks.”
Everyone had something to say on this

question of obedience. In the exchange.
Father brought out that the Church always
insisted on respectful submission of children
to their parents and to the lawful ecclesiastical
and civil authorities. He also showed that the
Fourth Commandment has another side: the
duties of parents towards each other and to
their children. The parents must first of all
love and obey God and lawful authority and
have a mutual respect for each other before
they can expect loving obedience from their
offspring. Husbands are to love their wives
as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25)
and wives are to be subject to their husbands
(Coloss. 3:18) and together they are to bring
up their children in the discipline ad correc-
tion of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). Parents
direct their children in the name of God. Let
them so live and be such that the children



Let’s Build A Home 65
can look up to and respect them as their God-
given guides to eternal happiness.
In this matter, as in all things, Christ is

our Model of obedience. His life at Nazareth
is summed up by Saint Luke in the following
verse: “And He went down with them, and
came to Nazareth, and was subject to them.”
(2:51). When Mary and Joseph asked Him
to do something. He saw the will of His Father
in their requests and when they advised or
counseled anything. He, the Angel of the Great
Council, submitted His judgment to that of
His own creatures. What a sublime example
for us!
And to parents in particular do Mary and

Joseph give a splendid example. To cite but
one instance in each of their lives: When the
Angel Gabriel announced the stupendous fact
that God wished to become incarnate in her
womb, Mary, with incomparable humility,
bowed before the divine will and spoke her
“fiat,” “May it be done unto me according to
thy word.” And when some months later God
sent a messenger to Joseph and told him to
take the Child and His Mother and to flee into
Egypt, the foster-parent of the God-Man did
not speak a word but rising in the middle of
the night left all things and fled with his
precious Charges. Both Mary and Joseph
obeyed because they saw an expression of the
will of God in the words of the Angel. Today,
God speaks to parents by means of the Ten
Commandments, the Commandments of the
Church and her ministers, through legitimate
authority and superiors. Can they claim an
exemption which the Son of God Himself did
not claim? Can they refuse obedience when
Joseph and Mary submitted so humbly and
readily?
Though sublime, the little home of Nazareth

must be reproduced in today’s world by
basing our lives and families upon Christ and
imitating His example. When writing to his
beloved Philippians, the Apostle urged them
to “let this mind be in you which was also in
Christ Jesus . . . (who) emptied Himself



66 Let’s Build A Home
taking the form of a servant .... humbled
Himself, becoming obedient unto .... the
death of the Cross.” (2:5-8). And exhorting
them to like humility and obedience he con-
tinues: ‘'Wherefore, dearly beloved, (as you
have always obeyed) .... with fear and
trembling work out your salvation, for it is
God who worketh in you both to will and
accomplish according to HIS good will. And
do ye all things without murmurings and
hesitations; That you may be blameless and
sincere children of God without reproof, in
the midst of a crooked and perverse genera-
tion; among whom you shine as lights in the
world.” (12-15). And who can deny that o :
generation is "perverse and crooked?” And
it is so precisely because of pride and dis-
obedience. With Lucifer, the world cries to
God: "Nom serviam—I will not serve!” A
reversal is imperative! Obedience is the only
things that will save the world to-day and that
obedience must begin right in the home. And
this brings us back to the beginning of our
little work : the nation takes on the charactei
of the homes. If the Nazarene spirit of
humble obedience to God and to lawful
superiors reigns in the home it cannot but
radiate far and wide and make for a peaceful,
happy and prosperous society. The contrary
is obvious. Eebellious parents—rebelling
against God and His laws—and rebellious
children—revolting against the authority of
parents or guardians—will not make peaceful
and law-abiding citizens. ,Our overcrowded
prisons and the wretched state of society testify
to that. Obedience may be a hard word, but
injustice, crime, war, depression, misery and
suffering are much, very much, harder. Christ
once said: 'My yoke is sweet and my burden is
light. And He is right—ask those who obey!
On the other hand, what price disobedience!
And what has been observed of the Fourth

may be said of all the Commandments, for
they all involve humble submission to the will
of God, hut for our own good! A moment’s
reflection will show how insane it is to refuse



Let’s Build A Home 67
service, since each act of disobedience retires
us further from our end and goes to make life
more miserable. A thing becomes more perfect
as it serves more perfectly the end for which
it was made. So it is with man: the more
perfectly he submits himself to his Creator the
more perfect and happy does he become and
the closer he approaches to his end. Only
humble submission will lead us to God. Today
our lives and homes are being threatened by
the invasion of ‘‘commandmentless” philoso-
phies. We can only be saved by getting be-
hind the protecting wall of God^s will. Now
when an army is confronted with threatening
numbers, it draws closer together. Every unit
feels the need of cooperation. Petty differ-
ences disappear, the authority of officers is
unquestioned, effort is unified, with the result
that frequently the very danger of destruction
is made the occasion of efficiency and victory.
And so with the home. Everything tends to
disrupt and break it up. In the face of this
threat the members of each unit—the family

—

should draw closer together and should co-
operate with the Great Captain is saving the
home. And this salvation will come only if
the officers (parents and superiors) under
the Great Captain obey His orders and in turn
are obeyed by those under them. Peace,
security, order and happiness will be the result
of humble submission to the divine Commander
and that submission must first be found in the
home, for the home cannot hone to face the
invasion successfully without the safeguard''
of religion.

XII. A Little Heaven.
And glancing at his wrist-watch. Father

Carl concluded

:

“That ought to do for the framework. It’s
getting close to my bed-time.”
“Don’t forget the siding and the roof,” re-

minded Alida.
“Why not cover our framework with the

love of God and neighbor? Then we will not



68 Let’s Build A Home
have a veneer but a genuine siding on our
house: everything we do and say will be
clothed in charity,” suggested Walt.

“Splendid idea,” praised the Priest. “I’ll
let you work out the details: windows, doors,
etc. What about the roof?”
Larry was waiting for the question and

came in quickly: “Divine Providence, for God
watches over us always; and what better roof
can we have over our heads than the watchful,
loving solicitude of our Heavenly Father?”
“Very good. Surely a house based on God,

sided with charity and roofed over with His
Providence will not go down in the storm.
And such a house, too, will be a lighthouse in
this stormy world of ours.”
“We have our house now. Father, but how

about the fuimishings?” asked Irene.
“I’m going to let you move in and furnish

it yourselves for, in the words of Edgar A.
Guest, “It takes a heap o’ livin’ in a house t’
make it home. . . .*

“It isn’t the price or style of your furniture,
the loveliness of your curtains and linens or
the up-to-date-ness of your equipment that
makes it home. A poor man’s cottage is more
often a home than the rich man’s mansion and
it is so because God reigns over the cottage
and where God reigns there we find peace and
happiness in spite of poverty and hardships

—

maybe even because of poverty and hardships
for then the cottage resembles more closely the
modest home in Nazareth.
“Father Mateo tells the following story in

connection with the splendid work of the
enthronment of the Sacred Heart as the King
of the home : H was once celebrating the
marriage of two young people who were very
poor, and they asked me to enthrone the King
of Love in

.
the cottage that very day.

‘Promise me,’ I said to them, ‘to treat Jesus
as a Friend, as if you really saw Him. His
Heart will bring you happiness it spite of the
troubles which are sure to come to you.’

Read the whole poem, “Home,” by this author.



Let’s Build A Home 69
** ‘A few years later the young man came and

called for me: ‘My little wife is dying/ he
said. And in fact she was most grievously
ill, but at peace and breathing a sweet and
infinite calm. The only treasure to be seen
in that poor little hut was the picture of the
Heart of Jesus, which I had presented them
with and enthroned on their marriage day.
After hearing her confession I was rather
surprised that in so bitter an hour such a
heavenly peace should reign there; so, wishing
to find out the reason, I said to her: ‘Before
going to heaven, come tell me, my child, have
you been unhappy since your marriage?’ She
opened her eyes wide in great surprise, and,
raising herself up, said to me: ‘What! You
who on our wedding day committed us to the
King Jesus, and brought Him to us to be the
Friend of this little home, you ask me if I
have been unhappy with Him? Never, Father!
not for one second! We have had to suffer,
we have had our struggles also, that is quite
inevitable; but could we be unhappy with
Jesus, the King and Friend of poor people and
especially of this cottage?’ And then, taking
her young husband by the hand she said to
him: ‘And you, what have you to say? Have
you been unhappy? In a broken voice, yet in
words which were almost a canticle of the
soul, he answered: ‘Father, we have had a
hard struggle; such is life but as she has said
to you, wiSh Jesus our Friend, we have seen
happy, oh, so happy! He is the Master, He
comes to take her away; but soon He will
come down for me, and then, up there in
heaven, we shall be united in happiness with
Him, just as we have been happy with Him
in our little home!’*
“The sublimity of this story needs no com-

ment.”
“Gosh, Father, that’s beautiful,” commented

Mary Elizabeth, visibly touched.

Quoted from “Jesus, King of Love,“ by Rev.
Mateo Crawley-Boevey, SS. CC., The National
Center of the Enthronement, Sacred Hearts
Academy, Fairhaven, Mass.



70 Let’s Build A Home
Nor was she the only one who was touched

by this simple but sublime account. And the
Sacred Heart will work the same miracle of
peace and joy in your home if you let Him in,
for He is the God of peace and joy.

^‘Now just to help you along I’ll suggest
the following furnishings which the Christian
home cannot do without: First of all, the
Sacred Heart must be enthroned as the King
and Mary as the Queen of the home. They
must be set up and given the place of honor
in the home and nothing should ever be done
to displease them and nothing should be
undertaken without consulting them. Secondly,
there must be strong but fatherly authority.
Children need direction, correction and even
punishment at times. Thirdly, there must be
a filial respect and loving obedience on the
part of the offspring. And lastly, love for
each other, an intense love. . . .

‘‘That’s putting it very briefly, but I must
be on my way.”
“Aw, Father, it’s early yet,” protested Don.
But Father was not to be dissuaded, and

with a few pleasantries he took leave of the
youngsters. Dad and mother prolonged their
“good-bye” out to his car as was their custom.
When they returned to the house they walked
into a typical old-fashioned home scene.

XIII. Closing Scene.

Alida and Marilyn had, with the help of
Don, dug out a couple of their hostess’ aprons
and were busy cleaning up the dishes,
and Paul, more in the way than anything else,
were “helping.” Paul was telling Don how
very fortunate he was to have such good
parents and such a real home in every sense
of the word. Out in the drawing room, Walt,
chewing on his pipe, was finishing his sketch
while Irene, loyally patient, was thumbing
through the Encyclical on Marriage and was
probably musing how happy she would be after
she had married her bookworm. And quite
caught up by the spirit of the 90’s, Jerry was



Let’s Build A Home 71
banging away on the piano trying to revive
some of the ragtime of the period and then
mellowing into on a bicycle built for
two. ...” No one could doubt that he was
really enjoying himself. Snatches of his
melodies were heard over by the huge fireplace
where Joe and the rest were popping corn and
roasting marshmallows. All in all it was a
happy scene. Every one was having a good
time—and they were making their own enter-
tainment and not roaming about buying it.
Even Mary Elizabeth had forgotten all about
her radio and modern devices and was getting
herself all stuck up with marshmallows roasted
in the old-fashioned way. . . . Dad and
mother smiled. The scene took them back
some years—34 years—^to the family parties
they had known and especially to one evening
when, in front of a log fire, dad had nervously
asked mother to come and build a home with
him. Storms had risen since then and winds
had blown, but their home had stood fast—it
was founded on rock; Jesus was Master and
Mary was Queen.
When the hour grew rather late, the young-

sters were loath to leave their haven of happi-
ness where they had found real enjoyment and
healthy recreation for both mind and body.
However, they were compensated by their
gracious hostess who extended to all a standing
invitation to ‘‘cruise around and drop anchor”
whenever they wished. Good-natured banter-
ings accompanied their “Good-night and
pleasant-dreams”—and we do not doubt that
all had pleasant dreams of a really enjoyable
evening.

Conclusion

We would conclude these homely pages with
an earnest appeal to you to love your home
and to make it the very center of your life.
Rich or poor, you can have a happy home. If
your home is not what it should be, whose
fault is it? Ask yourself this question seri-
ously and then strive to remedy the defects.



72 Let’s Build A Home
Although the home is really formed on the
very first day of married life, it is never too
late. Parents may he aging and the children
grown, but a start can still be made and suc-
cess attained through the good will and honest
cooperation of all. Consult the divine Archi-
tect, for “unless the Lord build the house, they
labor in vain that build it” (Psalm 126:1),
and then build along the plan suggested in the
foregoing pages. We promise you a happy
home. The saddest words ever recorded and,
indeed, the most tragic, are the following taken
from the First Chapter of Saint John’s Gospel
“. . . . He came unto His own and His own
received Him not. . . .” He is knocking at the
door of your heart and of your home. We
plead with you to admit the Divine Caller with
His untold treasures of happiness and peace

—

a joy and peace that only He can give. Bring
Him in and, after having enthroned Him as
King and Mary as Queen, hang up the legend

:

HOME SWEET HOME.



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