Virtue in the Catholic home : discussion club outline in describing homes in which vocations for the priestly and religious lives are developed, Pope Pius speaks of the father as “strong in faith and manly virtues,” but of “a pure and devoted mother.” 1 Elsewhere: “As the father occupies the chief place in ruling, so the mother may and ought to claim for herself the chief place in love.” 2 It is to be noted, however, that His Holiness speaks of super- natural love, not of the tender maternal love-instinct upon which the supernatural is built. Natural love, which is excellent in it- self, and offers the possibility of untold good, may even at times be a hindrance, when mothers are imprudent and cannot keep the children in truly obedient subjection, refuse what is harmful, punish if necessary, or where they selfishly abuse it and over- emphasize it and make it a wedge of separation from the love of father. This supernatural love is the beginning of all the finer instincts of the children. Its delicacy and tenderness exercise the strong- est appeal. Of it are born, for example, piety, modesty, purity, fear of the Lord, all learned at the mother’s knee. The worthy mother is usually at home with her children all day long. Often she is, for whole days, their only companion. But there is a far deeper mystery to the entire process of education in virtue than mere association. The mother is by nature more closely attached to her children. As in babyhood the child was incapable of taking solid food but was nourished by its mother, so in the early formative years, nature has determined that it 1. Ibid. 2. Pope Pius XI, “On Christian Marriage,” in Five Great Encyclicals, (New York: Paulist Press, 1940), p. 85. 4 Virtue in the Catholic Home is she who must nourish it in virtue. Even in mature and ad- vanced years, the appreciation of these natural facts is only in- tensified. There is no finer instinct in the world than a grown man’s mature love for the mother who bore him, and nourished him, and trained him in virtue. Every human being has a supernatural destiny — to be worked out in time. He must be educated “for what he must be and what he must do here below, in order to attain the sublime end for which he was created.” 1 That education is the result of the combined efforts of both parents. But in its youngest years, the child will be almost exclusively under the mother’s guidance. Her efforts are to produce effects which will have their final reckoning only in eternity. On the morning of her marriage, the priest prays for this holy vocation, which must be entered upon only after serious thought and conscientious preparation. The nuptial blessing, bestowed after the Pater Noster of the Mass, is primarily for the bride. The graces for which the priest implores Almighty God are in preparation for her duties. Among them may be selected: “May she be true and chaste . . . dear to her husband . . . wise . . . long-lived and faithful. . . . May she fortify her weakness with strong discipline ... be grave in demeanor and honored for her modesty . . . well taught in heavenly lore. . . . Let her life be good and sinless ” 2 As the educator and trainer of immature minds entrusted to her by God, the mother’s vocation is difficult. It calls for many qualities that are virtues in themselves. The burden is lightened by the ease of moulding the child’s mind and will. But to train them calls for zeal, painstaking effort, patience in weariness, and the humility that joyfully stoops to the level of the child. It is hard work, and the temptation must come at times to abandon the effort and take life easy. Only the seriousness of the under- taking and the knowledge that it is done for God can sustain the untiring effort demanded. “Let the children be, and do not hinder them from coming to me, for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew, 19: 14) DISCUSSION AIDS 1. Pick out from the above lines the worthiest sentiments for Mother’s Day. 2. Why do most dioceses insist that all Catholic marriages be contract- ed at Mass? 3. For what graces should a girl pray in preparation for her marriage? 1. Pope Pius XI. “On the Christian Education of Youth,” in Five Great Encyclicals, (New York: Paulist Press, 1940)1 P- 39- 2. St. Andrew’s Daily Missal, Nuptial Mass, p. 1928. The English transla- tion of the St. Andrew’s Daily Missal is distributed in this country by the E. M. Lohmann Co., 413 Sibley St., St. Paul, Minn. Virtue in the Catholic Home 5 3. The Children The relationship between the children and their parents is briefly told. The fourth commandment of God expresses it in six words: Honor thy father and thy mother. Obedience, honor, balanced respect, gratitude. They sum up the duties of the child. The father has a beautiful example in St. Joseph, the head of the Holy Family. Mothers strive to imitate Mary of Nazareth. But the Boy Jesus Himself has left a divine example to be copied by sons and daughters. And again, that is recorded briefly by the Evangelists: “And he went down with them and came to Naza- reth, and was subject to them.” (Luke, 2: 51. Gospel of the feast of the Holy Family.) Obedience is of the divine law, for by it parents are believed to hold the place of God Himself in the lives of their children. Numerous other virtues and habits are good and holy, and many observe them with great fruit. But unless sons and daughters progress in intelligent submission, they will not please God nor advance in anything virtuous. God has not called them to great and heroic undertakings, but to the simple and humble perfec- tion of learning from their natural teachers, their parents. Young men and women, still under obedience to their fathers and mothers, often complain today that they are not understood, and that parents do and say things that “get on their nerves.” Certainly parents do and say things that are unpleasant! So does the State. So does the Church. God does the same thing. In fact, it is only because they are doing God’s own will, which has no guarantee of being agreeable, that their commands are found to be unpleasant. Obedience is separately considered in Discussion XI. Honor is shown by the proper respect and deference for parents. It calls for proper address and titles. It makes the boy and girl proud for the world to know their parents, and never to feel the slightest shame or embarrassment at their clothes, their employ- ment, uncultured speech, or anything else except open and manifest sin. Gratitude is an attempt to repay parents for their sacrifices. It is only an attempt, for full payment is impossible. It seeks to show itself by full interest in the home, in all that concerns father and mother, brothers and sisters. Its possessor does not find his principal pleasure among friends acquired outside the home circle. One who is truly grateful to parents is not bored with home life, silent, sullen, irritated by younger brothers and sisters, while amazingly gracious to outsiders. Gratitude prompts pleas- ing companionship, helps to realize the dream of a home that 6 Virtue in the Catholic Home father and mother have worked for, makes for a sympathetic un- derstanding of parents’ wishes. DISCUSSION AIDS 1. Every act of obedience is an act of faith, or of belief that parents hold the place of God in the lives of their children. Is today’s child dis- obedient because he is not strong in faith? 2. Why are parents’ commands often unpleasant? 3. Point out some specific acts of gratitude which will have a beneficial effect on the home. 4. The Family as a Unit With infinite wisdom the Savior of mankind made it His first public duty to sanctify the home. He had already left His own home, and had set about to purify society. He began at society’s source. To be pure, society must be pure in its home life. The stream is not purer than its source. Hence our Lord began by purifying marriage itself. To accomplish the high purpose set for it by nature, and regulated by Divine Providence, the family must normally act as a unit. It is recognized a unit by Church and State, both of which cherish and protect it as the basic unit of all society. “Now there are three necessary societies distinct from one another and yet harmoniously combined by God, into which man is born: two, name- ly the family and civil society, belong to the natural order; the third, the Church, to the supernatural order. In the first place comes the family, instituted directly by God for its purpose, the generation and formation of the offspring; for this reason it has priority of nature and therefore of rights over civil society.” 1 In fulfilling this double purpose, the home becomes a little world in itself, quite self-sufficient in its youngest years. As time goes on, the more that parents and older brothers and sisters can do to focus all attention within the family, the better it is for the children. It is a pleasure to observe parents who have kept apace with their youngsters. They have a deep and abiding interest in everything that the boys and girls do, welcome their friends into the home, consider no happening at school of trivial concern, follow the conversation of even the youngest at table, are interest- ed in their sports, reading matter, games, little ambitions. Every- thing that goes to make up the life of their children concerns them. They bind their children to the home with the strongest bonds of affection and love. It will be noted that here and in subsequent discussions the use of the word “home” is not necessarily meant to restrict the thought to the family residence. The family forms a home as 1. Pope Pius XI, “On the Christian Education of Youth,” in Five Great En- cyclicals, (New York: Paulist Press, 1940), p. 39. Virtue in the Catholic Home 7 here understood when on vacation, visiting, driving in the family car, watching a baseball game. The main idea is that they live together. In many of its actions, the world about it takes the unity of the family for granted. All its members bear one name. They eat, sleep, live under one roof. If anyone wishes to see a member of the family, he logically calls for him at home. They worship together in the family pew. They are a unit. The separation comes with high school days, working outside the home, establishing friendships independently of the family, company keeping, recreation away from the family. These are the years when family spirit is firmly cemented, or broken, and the outcome depends, to a large extent, on youthful training. Family consciousness, leading to intelligent love of family, is to be instilled from earliest childhood. Subsequent considera- tions in the following discussions will show the necessity of a reasoned family pride. With maturer years a duty arises for the family to wield its influence and give a good example as a unit, particularly within the parish. This will be possible only if they have practiced the humbler virtues within the sanctuary of the home. Catholics need a return to the sacredness of the family hearth. The love of family must begin early, and every intelligent effort of both parents must be consecrated to the task. “Home, marriage, love, and children, are still the great heart-words of humanity, and must continue to be so unless civilization is to sink.” Dame Beatrix Lyall. DISCUSSION AIDS 1 . What Gospel stories can you recall to show Christ’s love of the home, and His desire to purify it? 2. What measures can you suggest to be taken by parents to prevent the “separation from the family that comes with high school age?” 3. Try to describe how the family is a unit of the parish. ADDED SUGGESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION 1 . Do you think that the Church’s program of Rural Life in the United States has a direct bearing on the present discussion? Are rural families more united than city families? How? Are the virtues of Catholic life more easily practiced in a rural settlement? Why? 2. Enumerate the various advantages that you can think of that derive from ownership of home, as far as virtuous lives are concerned. It neces- sarily means, for example, continued residence in the same parish. Does that have an effect on purity, charity, religion, temperance, justice, vocation? SUGGESTION FOR PRACTICAL RESOLUTION To be proud to be at Mass with your entire family on Sunday in the parish church, and on that occasion, to pray earnestly for the blessing on the home, and its unity. DISCUSSION II Faith i. What Faith Is Acting under God’s grace, faith is the virtue that causes the mind to give a firm assent to the revealed truths of religion, precisely because they are made known on the authority of God. It is a light that shines on every problem that man faces. If his faith is strong, every feature of his daily life will differ radically from that of his fellow man who has no faith, or little faith. Faith prompts him to gaze on the elevated Host and say: “My Lord and my God.’’ Faith makes him see and serve the same Lord in his children, in the people who walk into his office, his fellow machine workers. It gives Christ the first place in the home. This virtue is the solid foundation on which our whole spiri- tual life is built. Faith makes it possible for us to talk with God in public worship and private prayer. It lies concealed in every act of charity by which we prove ourselves generous with God. It gives meaning to all the other virtues that go to make up life in Christ : hope, obedience, justice, prudence, holy purity, humility. Faith is a gift from God in the sacrament of baptism. It is strengthened particularly when one receives confirmation. From then on, like all other virtues it is strengthened through practice and exercise. Just as it comes from God, it leads back to Him, directly and indirectly, in a thousand ways. Possessing it, men are never satisfied with their efforts to adore God. The man of faith will be found often at the Communion Table, to be nourished with the Bread of Angels, which only the eyes of faith can perceive. In his desire to be one with our Lord, he will be impelled to perform many acts of charity, because he firmly believes that in serving those less fortunate than himself, he is serving Christ. (Matthew, 25:31) After having sinned, he knows no rest until he has regained peace with his God, because his faith makes him realize that God will never despise a contrite and humble heart. (Psalm 50: 18) When the Church teaches, he bows his head in humble sub- mission, because he knows that “He who hears you hears me, and he who despises you despises me.” (Luke, 10:16) For all roads lead to the City of God. All are brightly illumined with the light of faith. Shadows, darkness, blackouts are unknown, for “He who follows me does not walk in the darkness.” (John, 8: 12) Faith’s ideal qualities are firmness and strength. We also Virtue in the Catholic Home 9 pray for a lively faith, or more properly, a life-giving faith. It is amazing today, that despite all the temptations to which men have exposed their faith, they believe as strongly as they do in the things of God. DISCUSSION AIDS 1. Mention some of the practices that have strengthened your faith. What kind of sermons? Reading the Bible? Good books? The example of good companions? Continue the list. 2. The man of strong faith often receives Holy Communion. Can you mention other manifestations of faith than those suggested above? 3. We pray for an increase of faith at the beginning of the rosary. Can you name other examples? 2. Faith Within the Home Today’s students of the Church’s problems stress the necessity of a return to family exercise of faith. Their recommendations include prayer within the home, recited by the entire family. There is a growing insistence on the offering of the Sacrifice of the Mass as families, in the family pew of the parish church. Greater frequency in receiving the sacraments together will knit the family members more intimately than any other power on earth. The home should be cherished as a protection against any grave dangers to one’s faith. Virtue is easily practiced within its circle, and temptations are usually absent altogether, or light- ly cast aside. Serious temptations against faith begin when the young man or woman leaves the family circle (which can be done while still “living at home”). The home must so build up and strengthen faith that it can withstand all temptations. Fellow workers in factory, shop, or store may be the cause of difficulties and doubts. Schoolmates may argue morality and sow the seeds of sin. “Scientific theories” may be advanced which will cause the destruction of high ideals. If baptism and confirmation and the practice of faith have been kept alive in the sanctuary of the home, triumphant victory is assured. When pastors are asked the size of their parishes, they gener- ally indicate the number of families in the parish. This should not be thought of merely as a convenient method of estimating the number of parishioners. Its significance is deeper than that. The whole life of faith centers principally about the altar and the home, and it is in the nature of things for the Church to think in terms of families. Many of the means employed to strengthen faith are neces- sarily connected with the family. Besides prayer and other spiri- tual practices, these will include the diocesan newspaper, and sub- 10 Virtue in the Catholic Home scriptions to religious magazines and books, most of which find their way into the family circle. They are printed to appeal to every member of the family. Religious articles and decorations which help to keep faith alive and vigorous, have their logical place within the home of sincere Catholics. Most of the joys that have real meaning in life are shared in the sanctuary of the home. Sometimes these joys are so intimate as to exclude outsiders. Practically all of them are spiritual in character. Birthdays, or, much better, the anniversaries of bap- tism, confirmation, first Communion, and so on, are sacred to the family circle and occasion some of the happiest moments re- called in later years. Father’s and mother’s wedding anniver- sary is for Catholics either the grateful remembrance of a sacra- ment, or nothing. Christmas, when the Christ Child is welcomed in a special manner into the intimacy of the home, father’s day, day, and mother’s day, bring pleasant memories to all who have learned to love their families. These celebrations are built on faith, and the home is the logical place for their enjoyment. In much the same way, most sorrows affect families as families. However close his friendship, a person not of the family circle feels himself an outsider, almost an intruder, on these occasions. We offer our condolences to bereaved families. We sympathize with them in their afflictions, visit their homes, or write to them, when sorrow has struck the intimate circle of our friends. Charity prompts us to offer our sendees when sickness disturbs the order of the home. Sorrow unites them but it is really faith that stands them in good stead in the hour of trial. The virtue of belief in God, and in His Providence, which is directed to their best in- terests, makes them see God’s hand in all that befalls them. DISCUSSION AIDS 1. Do you automatically think of faulty home training when you hear: “He fell away from the Church.” “She was married at the courthouse.”? 2. About how large is your parish? Have you any idea how many families are in it? 3. If you were writing a letter of condolence to a bereaved family, to whom would you normally address it? 3. Today’s Loss of Faith Statistics on the number of adult conversions in the United States are published yearly. No record is made of the losses to the faith directly suffered by those who fall away from the Church. This would be impossible. Conversions are definite and positive, whereas losses to the Church are usually gradual and negative, and always balanced by the hope that the person will return to his duties. There is no way at all of discovering the total number of those who might have been won to the Church. Virtue in the Catholic Home 11 But this much can definitely be stated: Just as most conversions have some family connection, most losses to the faith are also traceable to the home. While making allowances for those mixed marriages which turn out happily for the faith, the Church has lost more heavily through this cause in the United States than through any other. One authority on the problem went so far as to maintain that all dispensations should be refused in the future. Sad experience shows beyond all doubt that there is definite danger in every mixed marriage. The Church’s prohibition is based on that sad experience. Faith has been lost by the Cath- olic party and the children in many thousands of cases. Even the home of the Catholic party to the mixed marriage suffers. All too often the non-Catholic husband or wife brings the first rift into the Catholic home. It simply is not in the na- ture of things that they be received on equal terms with their brothers- and sisters-in-law, for the very thing that united the family is lacking — the faith. Schools have also been a serious cause of loss of faith. Parents who disobey the command of the Church by sending their children to forbidden schools when they could send them to Catholic schools, or who do not cooperate with the work of the Catholic schools, are inviting disaster for the faith of their children. Undesirable companionship, both within the home when guests are received or when the family visits friends, and par- ticularly outside the family, can also be a serious cause of falling away from the Church. This is constantly to be feared in a nation where more than fifty per cent of the population never cross the threshold of any church as worshippers. It is not too much to state that Catholics have a definite minimum norm to follow: not to welcome or admit to their homes those whom the Church must refuse to accept. There is a general decline in morality throughout the country today. This is as true, in many instances, of Catholic life, as it is of those who are not of the faith. The cause is often to be found in unworthy home life, and in the faulty training of the children. Pope Pius XI indicated what must be expected of parents : “The first natural and necessary element in this environment [the ideal Catholic home] as regards education, is the family, and this precisely because so ordained by the Creator Himself. Accordingly that educa- tion as a rule, will be more effective and lasting which is received in a well-ordered and well-disciplined Christian family; and more efficacious in proportion to the clear and constant good example set, first by the parents, and then by the other members of the household.” 1 i. Pope Pius XI, “On the Christian Education of Youth,” in Five Great Encyclicals, (New York: Paulist Press, 1940), p. 57. 12 Virtue in the Catholic Home Failure in fulfilling this obligation will only increase present ex- treme cause for worry. Indifference and neglect of religion in the home are taking a terrible toll. It is high time to study the whole situation. The Church and our beloved country need a generation of parents humble enough to go down upon their knees and ask guidance from Almighty God in this most serious obligation toward their children. They have tried their own methods, and have failed in all too many instances. Now they must return to His. DISCUSSION AIDS 1. Although baptized a Catholic, Mr. Jones is divorced and “remarried.” He is successful in business and socially prominent. Would you admit him regularly to your home, or invite him and his wife to dinner (they have no children)? 2. Comment briefly on the causes of loss of faith today. Can you men- tion others that originate in the home? 3. About how many children are enrolled in your parish school? How many Catholic children of the parish attend public schools? High schools? 4. Suggestions for Fostering Faith in the Home 1. To pray together as families. The father of the family should always devoutly pronounce the blessing at the table, and direct the common prayer of the home. Most of the prayer can be led and recited by the children. 2. To receive Holy Communion as families, making necessary allowances for grammar school children, who are with their schoolmates in church (which should not be every Sunday: they belong with their parents and the rest of their families much of the time. ) Boys and girls who have been privileged to kneel beside their parents at the Communion table will not readily lose their faith. 3. To decorate the home with the Crucifix, sacred pictures and other objects of devotion, which create an atmosphere of Catholicity. Anyone walking into a Catholic home should recog- nize it immediately for what it is — the cherished dwelling of Catholics. 4. To insist on knowing the companions with whom their children associate, the homes they visit, the books they read. 5. At times, consciously to direct the conversation at table or in the living room to topics dealing with matters of faith. Thus, to speak of the Church’s viewpoint on some problem of the day, to discuss some matter treated in a recently read Cath- olic book or periodical, or the diocesan newspaper, to remark about school work, to refer to a sermon heard, will all serve to make home life a little more Catholic. Virtue in the Catholic Home 13 6. To encourage an increased knowledge of the things of God and His Church — by listening to the Catholic hour on the radio, by “hearing the children’s catechism,” by subscribing to and reading Catholic periodicals and papers. 7. To encourage recreation within the family circle. The money wasted in frivolity could make Catholic homes so attrac- tive that the children would cheerfully find their entire recrea- tion within its embrace. 8. Never to tolerate flippant or irreverent remarks about holy things or persons. The sacraments, priestly and religious voca- tions, the wedded state, the parish church and school, are things that are pleasing in the sight of God, and never to be spoken of lightly. 9. To warn the children, prudently, with regard to lurking dangers, especially in commercialized recreation, objectionable “movies,” the theater, unwise reading, unworthy companions. DISCUSSION AIDS 1 . Mention the decorations that you think best produce a truly Catholic spirit in the home. What pictures? Statues? Other objects of devotion? 2. What are the best sources for the adult Catholic to learn of his faith? 3. Which of the above nine suggestions for fostering the faith appeal most to you? Can you add others? ADDED SUGGESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION 1. A recent (Canadian) parish bulletin announced: “In future there will be no 'Children’s Mass’ at eight o’clock. Children must attend the Sacrifice with their parents or some adult person from their homes.” What do you think of the pastor’s plan? 2. The Catholic faith is one of the most beautiful and powerful forces in the world. Why do you think men have wandered so far from its spirit today? Why is it so persecuted? Do you see a parallel between the per- secution of the faith and the disregard of the sanctity of the home? SUGGESTION FOR PRACTICAL APPLICATION To receite the “act of faith” daily, if possible in the evening with the other members of the family. DISCUSSION III Hope i. What Hope Is Hope plays an important part in every intelligent person’s life. The boy hopes that the weather will be fine for Saturday’s game. His worried mother hopes the children will arrive home safely from their picnic. Father cherishes the hope that his eldest son will follow his own trade or profession. After ten crop failures, farmers in Western Kansas soberly planted their crops with the hope of an abundant harvest. But all these hoped-for things find their fulfilment in natural goals. Supernatural hope unites us intimately with God. It works much as do our natural hopes, but its objects are our eternal sal- vation and the things that lead to it. It is a gift from God, and leads us constantly back to Him. In so doing, it wields a tremendous power in our lives, deeply influencing our whole outlook. Like all other virtues, hope holds the solid and reasonable middle course between two unreasonable extremes. It makes men rely on God’s infinite goodness to obtain pardon when they have sinned. This keeps them from the extreme of despairing of God’s mercy, and from the foolhardy assurance that God will forgive them without their cooperation. In the same way it brings men to depend confidently on God’s grace and help in the difficulties of their state of life. Once they have learned its secret, they are neither timidly fearful of hard- ships and temptations, nor overconfident in relying on their own power. Hope is humble, and places its trust in God’s goodness. It avoids any undue emphasis on natural means of acquiring the things for which it longs: the pardon of sins, the increase of grace, and life everlasting. Hope might be called the virtue of the cheerful and the buoyant. It sustains in trials and hardships. It takes some of the sting out of life’s disappointments. Because of it, privations are borne calmly. Even the hardest things in life, the death of loved ones, life-long afflictions of those who are near and dear, injustices, and things unpleasant generally, are seen in their proper perspec- tive by the person who has learned to place his trust in God. There is an enviable calmness to the man who has learned the lesson of hope. He is at peace with God and man. Hope is the virtue, too, which prevents morbid worry about Virtue in the Catholic Home 15 one’s final reckoning with an all-just Judge. It promises men the means of attaining salvation. Reliance on God’s unfailing goodness burns strong in the breast of the true Christian. Firm belief in the reward of final perseverance as the climax of a life in God’s service is certain to color a man’s whole attitude to- ward life. It is a very positive virtue, and must be built up by every spiritual means which the Divine Wisdom has placed at our dis- posal. We need it today more than ever before, to oppose the influences that tend to draw us away from God. DISCUSSION AIDS 1. The Catholic cannot help comparing himself with those whom St. Paul describes as “having no hope.” It is easy to offer sincere sympathy to a Catholic who has lost a well prepared relative. How would you console a mother whose deceased son belonged to no church? 2. Almost immediately after having sinned, we can (and should) recite the act of hope, and mean every word we utter. How can you account for the great strength of our hope, despite all we have done to lose it? 3. Does the “act of hope” include the petition for final perseverance? 2. Hope in the Catholic Home As with practically all other virtues, hope finds its ideal setting within the solidly Christian family. In the ideal home, father and mother strive from the earliest childhood of the first baby to instill this virtue in all its applications. Long before going to school, the child learns of God and His goodness at its mother’s knee. Those with whom one has shared from babyhood joys and sorrows will be the sharers of our most sacred hopes in maturer years. No one else can enjoy our confidences so unreservedly as those with whom we have played, and worked, and prayed, and shared secrets not known outside the sanctuary of the home. Strangers, acquaintances, or even intimate friends, never are taken into the bosom of the family’s hopes. They are too sacred to be shared with outsiders. The offering of prayers for deceased relatives, a beautiful ex- pression of supernatural hope, built on faith and charity, is a sacred duty with the members of the family. Anniversary and other Masses for the deceased are usually announced in the parish church as “requested by the family.” Many a grown man re- calls today his mother’s frequent reminders to include the family in his prayers, when the children recited their prayers before her. Boys and girls have prayed for years for the conversion to the faith of a non-Catholic father or mother. When spiritual danger lurks, prayers are redoubled in the Catholic home. Should anyone in the family “go wrong,” intense 16 Virtue in the Catholic Home prayer by all the members of the family storm heaven for the erring one. The sacrifices of parents and older brothers and sisters to pro- cure a “good Catholic education” for fortunate younger members are another expression of the virtue of hope. In fact, Catholic America’s school system, a monument to the voluntary offerings of the poor, represent for the greatest part, the sacrifices and the hopes of the Murphys and the Meyers, the Smiths and the Browns of the country. There is much of beauty in the humblest of America’s Catholic homes, much of which it would be gravely sinful to abandon, for it is pleasing in the sight of God. All this is a perfectly natural outgrowth of God’s own design for the family. Mutual help, which is one of the purposes in the marriage contract and sacrament, is to be, first of all, aid in the practice of virtue. Pope Pius XI calls the attention of the Church to this truth in the following words: "... Love is proved by deeds. This outward expression of love in the home demands not only mutual help, but must go further; it must have as its primary purpose that man and wife help each other day by day in forming and perfecting themselves in the interior life, so that through their partnership in life they may advance ever more and more in vir- tue, and above all that they may grow in true love toward God and their neighbor.”! The children share in this sacred character of mutual help in virtue within the home. It is their part in the “great sacrament” mentioned by St. Paul. (Ephesians, 5:32) Toward the end of his encyclical on Christian Marriage, Pope Pius expresses the desire that all Christians: “. . . as members of the great family of Christ . . . may be thoroughly acquainted with sound teaching concerning marriage, so that they may ever be on their guard against the dangers advocated by teachers of error, and most of all that ‘denying ungodliness and worldly desires, they may live soberly and godly in this world, looking for the blessed hope and coming of the glory of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ’.” (Titus, 2: 12-13) 2 DISCUSSION AIDS 1. How often do you think person of means should have Masses offered for deceased relatives? For a departed father? uncle? brother or sister? 2. How is mutual aid, as a purpose of the sacrament of marriage, linked with the virtue of hope? 3. Do parents who send their children to public schools through no necessity of doing so, sin against hope? 3. What Has Been Lost Today These are very trying days. Compared with any period of the history of the Christian era, they are among the most frighten- 1. Pope Pius XI, "On Christian Marriage,” in Five Great Encyclicals, (New York; Paulist Press, 1940) , p. 83. 2. Ibid., p. 1 16. Virtue in the Catholic Home 17 ing. The hand of God rests heavily upon the whole world. Death and destruction, dire want and sickness, war and all the horrors of war, have struck their blows over the face of the earth. Few indeed have not been affected by the general upheaval. God is trying once more, to speak in human terms, to bring us to our senses. He wants to restore to us the appreciation of hope in divine things, and all that that hope will bring with it. He wants to destroy the false standards that have led us away from Him. We have sinned as a race, as a nation, as families, as indivi- duals. We are a generation boastfully forgetful of God’s com- mands. But man cannot forget his God. God does not permit that. He may permit it for a while, but always there comes the rude awakening like the present, for those who will see the light. It is as though God were forcibly directing our attention once more to the things for which He taught us to hope. Married couples closed their eyes to the obligations of their state of life, turned deaf ears to the warnings of the Church. They practiced a sinful “control” of their most sacred natural co- operation with God, the prime purpose of their marriage union. Many refused belief in Christ’s words, “Your Father knows that you need all these things.” (Matthew, 6: 28) Their unbelief and lack of hope, and the presumption on God’s mercy kept heirs of heaven from being born. They deceived themselves with talk of “impossibility” and “better advantages for a smaller number of children.” In many instances even more selfish motives guided their actions. The quest for excitement and artificial pleasure that has done so much to destroy the family spirit has tended to deaden the virtue of hope as well. Hope unites us to God and draws us away from the things that prevent union with Him. The man with supernatural hope hates sin, and wants to give up, to the best of his human ability, all attachment to sin. He knowTs he must avoid occasions of sin, harmful practices, evil company, sinful entertainment. But these, and the things that lead to them, are the very forces that have taken people out of their homes today. On the other hand, the spiritual power that makes them strong, is generally to be found within the family circle. Overemphasis on natural means, and complete dependence on personal efforts to the neglect of the power of the supernatural is one of the most serious faults of modern education. Learning, culture, eloquence, are all splendid. It is only when the student is given the impression “ These are the things that really count” that harm is done. Much of the supernatural part of education must originate in home training. People today must try to re- 18 Virtue in the Catholic Home establish the broken lines of grace between the altar and the home, between their needs and the sacraments and sacramentals. Harmful reading, not sufficiently checked within the home, is another cause of the evil. Unwillingness to bow one’s head to Christ’s sweet yoke and to shoulder the burden of the cross He makes light, keep people from following Him in hope. Much of the yoke, and many of the burdens are found within the family. We have lost something precious. Today’s vocation must be an all-out effort to reestablish in ourselves the solid hope that our religion offers. Most of the effort must be expended within the home. It will mean the humility of abandoning presumption and overconfidence in our own powers. It will mean constant care not to allow despair in any form to enter our lives. It will be the search for the positive and the beautiful. And it will be found again, most frequently, within the Catholic home. DISCUSSION AIDS 1. Do you think that considering today’s world conditions as from God’s hand is common? Are the people whom you know better for the crosses they have to bear? 2. How does modern education tend to destroy hope? 3. Show how the quest for excitement and pleasure affect hope. 4. Suggestions for Encouraging Hope in the Home 1. To provide as complete a Catholic education as possible for every child to prepare for the spiritually difficult days that lie ahead. Only deep motives guarantee the life of faith and charity which the baptismal and confirmation characters demand. Only the well rounded training by all the forces of home, the Church, and the full Catholic system of education can equip the child for the spiritual difficulties of life. 2. To read, occasionally, a chapter or two of the New Testa- ment, or of Thomas a Kempis’ Imitation of Christ1 until one finds a sentence which expresses the hope answering our present need or mood. Such a practice is particularly helpful in the time of trial. Once the reading of such passages aloud is regularly reintro- duced into the family, much that America has lost will have been regained. 3. To learn to sacrifice some material pleasure for the sake of Christ, in order to obtain the forgiveness of sins and an increase 1. The New Testament, or, preferably, the entire Bible, should be found in all Catholic homes, invitingly available for ready reading. The Imitation of Christ, also called The Following of Christ, can be procured very reason- ably at any good bookstore. Care should be taken to obtain a Catholic edition. Virtue in the Catholic Home 19 of grace. To remain at home when outside pleasures call so that one many cherish intimate union with those whose lives are the natural protection of our virtue of hope. 4. To offer encouragement and assistance when any member of the family stands in need, even more especially if the need is spiritual in character. This lesson of mutual help and sympathy must be taught from the earliest dawn of reason. Often enough it is a form of character training forfeited in “restricted” families. 5. To be cheerful and strong in the virtue of hope when other members of the family, or relatives, or close friends suffer adversity. 6. Parents must endeavor to develop as serious an apprecia- tion of hope as possible in the children as a preparation for their life-work and vocation. All too often the choice of a state of life is thought of only in terms of financial success, social position, security, happiness through the gratification of desires. Home training and inspiration must go far beyond these limited bounds, and must prepare the child for “what he must be and what he must do here below, in order to obtain the sublime end for which he was created.” 1 In choosing a life’s work or profession, this will mean first of all to select that work in which they can best please Almighty God. The Choice of a state of life is treated in Dis- cussion XVI. DISCUSSION AIDS 1. Why is Catholic education so important for hope? 2. How is the virtue linked with the choice of a state of life? 3. Mention some specific ways in which you can strengthen your own hope and the hope of others. SUGGESTIONS FOR ADDED DISCUSSION 1. How would you endeavor to explain God’s infinite mercy to one who had sinned gravely and was on the point of despair? What would you suggest that he do to regain hope? 2. What part of the practice of your religion gives you the greatest hope? Does it strike you as impressive that the “act of hope” and the last prayer of the priest’s absolution in confession ask for the same three favors? 3. Father McReavy says in his sermon on hope: “Hope gives a motive and a meaning to all our crosses and trials, for we see them not as stumbling blocks, but as short cuts to our journey’s end, and far from being merely resigned to them, we begin to welcome them. 2 Do you think that is a pic- ture of many Catholic homes? SUGGESTION FOR PRACTICAL RESOLUTION To see to it that each day closes, at least, with the reflective recitation of the act of hope, — if possible, with the entire family. 1. Pope Pius XI, “On the Christian Education of Youth,” in Five Great Encyclicals, (New York: Paulist Press, 1940), p. 39. 2. McReavy, Lawrence Leslie, “Sermon on Hope,” in the Homiletic and Pastoral Review, 40: 1161. DISCUSSION IV The Love of God i. What the Love of God Is • “God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.” (i John, 4: 16) The love of God is a supernatural virtue, a gift bestowed upon us by which we cherish God above all things, simply because He is infinitely good, and worthy of all our love. The above quoted words of St. John make us realize that God is always close to us, and desirous of being united with us. For that very reason He brought us into being. The child in the catechism class learns that “God created me to know Him, and love Him ...” When we consider our many sins, this teaching may seem difficult, but it really is not. The saints loved God in an heroic degree that few of us can succeed in imitating. But in practice, almost every act of an upright life can be made an act of the love of God. For instance, one moment’s reflection in which we desire a deeper share in the Masses being offered throughout the world at this hour is an act of love. We mention that desire in the morn- ing offering, but often we recite the words from memory, without really thinking. Morning prayers are an act of love of God in themselves. Prayers before meals, and especially a word of thanks to God for His benefits and blessings are another act of the love of God. This act of thanksgiving can attain a very high degree if we direct our attention to the Giver rather than to His gifts. An ejacula- tory prayer before an hour’s work offers the whole work to God as an act of love and consecration. The average ejaculatory prayer will hardly consume five seconds of our time. Promptly turning away from temptations, fulfilling our duties of our state in life, little acts of voluntary mortification, a five minutes’ visit to the Blessed Sacrament on the way home from work or shopping, are all acts of love that can easily be developed in the ordinary life. Training ourselves to think of them is the important point. We rightly consider the saints far above us. But we are called to imitate, not them alone, but God Himself. “You therefore are to be perfect, even as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Mat- thew, 5:48) We must ever strive toward this perfection. God helps us constantly by abiding in us, dwelling within us through His grace. Virtue in the Catholic Home 21 It is a life-long work on the part of man, a growth until death stops growth and a new order begins. The man who loves God will always keep on trying to reach perfection, whatever the failures and mishaps he suffers on the way. St. Augustine, who had a really difficult time beginning his love of God, acknowledges humbly that “We are created for Thee, O God, and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee.” This love of God makes us entirely new beings. We are lifted out of our sinful selves, and become one with God. Here is the way Father Tanquerey explains the idea: “It [love] unites to God the whole soul with all its faculties and powers. It unites the mind to God through the esteem conceived for Him and the frequent thought of Him. It unites the will by perfect submission to the Divine Will. It unites the heart by the subordination of all our affections to the Divine Love. It unites our energies by dedicating them all to the service of God and souls.” 1 DISCUSSION AIDS 1. St. Paul’s passage on the love of God (I Corinthians, chapter 13) is considered one of the most beautiful chapters of the world’s literature. What did he mean by concluding “So there abide faith, hope, and charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity”? 2. Is the love of God the most excellent of all the virtues because all virtues are directed by it? 3. Can you recite the act of love? 2. Love of God in the Catholic Home The love of God makes us give ourselves to Him as completely as we can. Our first effort must be obedience to the Divine Will, made known to us in the law of God and the law of the Church. Many questions have been brought to our attention by the Holy See in recent years which focus the interest on the home once more. Suffice it to mention the reestablishment of the Feast of the Holy Family, the model of all Christian homes; Pope Pius XI’s encycli- cal on the Christian Education of Youth, much of which must be imparted within the family circle ; his encyclical letter of Christian marriage. Obedience to these laws of the Holy See can be realized only through love of home and family. If one loves God, he will naturally want to be where he is united to God. If the home is what it should be, nothing will remind us of Him so forcibly, with the exception of the church, which is God’s own special home. “My house is a house of pray- er.” (Luke, 19:46) In its own limited way, the Catholic home should be that, too. Love will draw the soul to seek God’s greater glory in the way that He Himself has indicated He wants to be adored. The wor- 1. Tanquerey, A., The Spiritual Life, (Philadelphia: The Peter Reilly Co., I 93°)» §1219, P- 572. 22 Virtue in the Catholic Home thiest possible celebration of the Sacrifice of the Mass with the parish priest is one of God’s first claims upon us. The ideal of family participation in the Sacrifice is not being realized, par- ticularly in city parishes. Sometimes the ideal is not possible, as when the father of the family works on Sunday and must attend the earliest Mass, or when someone must remain at home to care for infant children. Making allowances for similar excep- tions, many American families are ignoring a spiritual and educa- tional means of the greatest importance. A family is never more united than when kneeling together as a family before the altar for full participation in the Sacrifice of the Mass. Every one of the sacraments has a direct relation to the home. Baptism is an occasion of spiritual joy for the family. Confirma- tion intensifies the gifts of the Holy Ghost which enable the child to enter more fully into the spiritual life of the home. Nothing better indicates true parochial and family spirit than to see father, mother, and children at church of a Saturday evening for con- fession, unless it is to see them nourished by their Divine Savior at the communion table as a family. In extreme unction Jesus comes personally into the home to strengthen, console, and anoint a member of the family for the glory of heaven. The sacrament of marriage, offering actual grace throughout the years is the solid rock upon which Christian families are reared. Although holy orders exceeds the spiritual needs of the individual home, it is God’s chosen means of furnishing the family its spiri- tual assistance, because all help comes to men from God through the priest, and through him we offer all our prayer and sacrifice to God. A divine order is here revealed. In giving us the sacraments, Jesus took care of every spiritual need of man. And the sacra- ments have their logical setting within the family and the parish. This spirit must be kept alive in the home. Sacred pictures will remind the members of duties they are prone to forget. Holy water and other sacramentals are spiritual powers that must protect the home and increase the love of God within it. Fervent family prayer should daily ascend to God’s throne from the lips of every serious Catholic. May God bless and pro- tect our homes, and make them intense centers of His praise and glory! DISCUSSION AIDS 1. How are the pope’s encyclicals made known to the faithful? How did you learn of his encyclical on marriage? 2. How do the sacraments, as means of grace, affect the home? 3. What practical resolutions should be adopted by parents with baby children to increase their family love of God? 23Virtue in the Catholic Home 3. Loss of God’s Love in the Home Since family life is God’s own ideal for fostering His love, the growing modern disregard for home life suggests itself as an ex- planation of much of today’s sinfulness. A simple investigation shows this to be true. Jesus spoke to His disciples, and through them to us all: “If you love me, keep my commandments.” (John, 14: 15) I am the Lord , thy God. Thou shalt not have strange gods be- fore me. — Most false gods are erected outside the home. Arti- ficial and commercialized amusements can be erected into an idol. Dangerous education, at variance with Christian home training and Catholic principles, worships gods of its own. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. — It is only when the home is completely forgotten, and father and mother have ceased to be what God intended them to be that cursing, swearing, or any vile disregard of the Holy Name can occur in the home. Remember that thou keep holy the Sabbath. — The ideal family spirit for observing the Sunday is destroyed if one member fails to go to Mass or if he drives across town to attend a late Mass away from the family and the parish. Breaking away from the family, arrangements to spend the day outside its fold, often mean the end to any effort to “keep the day holy.” Honor thy father and thy mother. — Lack of due respect on the part of the children, disobedience, and brazen “talking back” to parents are finding their way too frequently into Catholic homes — from the outside influences at school, through association with the wrong kind of companions, and so on. Parents, too, are bound by the law of obedience. Forgetfulness of their digni- ty as the head and heart of the family, and their position as repre- sentatives of God who placed the children in their custody, is al- most as common a failure as the disobedience that it has often brought about. Thou shalt not commit adultery. — The shameful vice shuns the brightness, the natural purity and warmth of the family circle. Lustful desires take the person out of the spirit of the home, erect invisible barriers, destroy confidences that were formerly spontaneous. Where lust reigns, family spirit is dead. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods. — Contentment, peace, tranquility are the marks of the home-loving. Their opposites are too often the price paid for a break with one’s family. Only a few points are here indicated. The same principle will be found true when applied to the commandments of the Church. The virtues taught by the Church in its yearly cycle of sacred worship are all petitioned in the name of the entire parish. But examination will reveal that most of them are to be practiced in daily life in the intimacy of the home. 24 Virtue in the Catholic Home This is a principle underlying the whole worship of the Church. From Calvary’s Cross graces stream to us through the society of the Church into our every-day life. Tittle time or thought is necessary to convince one that loss of family spirit breaks the flow of grace. For years the whole teaching power of the Church has warned us of what is wrong : we have lost the sacred character of family spirit. We cannot progress until we return humbly to God’s plan for us. DISCUSSION AIDS 1. Do you remember the commandments of the Church? Can you show how they, too, affect the family ? 2. How are parents bound by the law of obedience? 3. What is wrong with attending a late Mass at a neighboring parish? 4. Suggestions for Increasing the Love of God in the Home 1. To build up, as far as possible, the “love-motive” of spiri- tual life, and to suppress the motive of fear, of “having to do” this or that under the pain of mortal sin. 2. To realize the need of consciously giving good example in the practice of God’s love. Being good is easy when others about one are good. Children who give such example are to be com- mended. Anyone acting otherwise should be corrected firmly but charitably. Parents must feel the weighty responsibility of taking the lead in such good example. 3. To endeavor to regain a more truly Christian appreciation of the Lord’s Day, making it very specially a day cherished by every member of the family. Recreation together, picnics, out- ings, sports in which all can participate or at least share with interest as spectators, family dinners with guests invited, are all to be encouraged. Parents should reluctantly grant permission to spend the day away from the family in doing things that will cause the child to lose sight of its sacred character, and never for anything opposed to God’s law. Besides attending Mass together, some part of the day, at least, should be spent by the whole family in God’s service, as in sacred reading or com- mon prayer. In his encyclical letter on the Christian Education of Youth Pope Pius XI finds serious fault with those militaristic countries “which usurp unreasonably on Sundays the time which should be devoted to religious duties and to family life at home.” l He certain- ly could not logically commend many American families which, despite their great political liberty and the freedom to practice their religion and to live their home life, have retained even less than the Catholics in persecuted countries. 1. Pope Pius XI, "On the Christian Education of Youth," in Five Great Encyclicals, (New York: Paulist Press, 1940), p. 50. Virtue in the Catholic Home 25 4. To encourage little acts of self-sacrifice by every member of the family in procuring sacred objects for the home. A statue or picture of the Blessed Virgin procured by the little acts of self- denial of every child in the family would be an ideal Mother’s Day gift. Sickroom equipment for the administration of the sacraments, crucifixes for the different rooms of the house, holy water fonts, a holy water bottle for the mother or father to bless the children at night, a good family Bible, a nicely framed picture of the Last Supper for the dining room, could all be procured in this manner. No finer spirit of gratitude could be shown than for all the children to arise for early Mass and Holy Communion on their parents’ wedding anniversary. 5. To remind the children of special intentions for which to pray, or the significance of a special feast, for instance as they leave home to attend Mass. Such brief instructions re- main long after childhood has passed, and if given after careful thought and study, can present a fairly complete education in the love of God. 6. To have anniversary and other Masses offered for the de- ceased members of the family, to be participated in, if possible, by all the living members. DISCUSSION AIDS 1. Only a few obvious suggestions are made here. The possibilities are unlimited. What other means do you suggest to increase the love of God by families? 2. What would you tell a twelve-year-old boy as he left the house to serve early Mass? 3. What do you think of a family that dials for some other program during the Catholic hour on Sunday afternoon? ADDED SUGGESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION 1 . Does ownership of home, which will mean dwelling in the same parish, more permanent friendships, and so on, have any bearing on the love of God? Are rural communities more ideally suited for fostering this virtue? 2. What has happened to the beautiful custom of singing together in families? How many of the club members came from families where there was singing together? 3. Can you give a list of books that would foster a love of God in the home? 4. On the occasion of his silver jubilee as a bishop, Pope Pius XII stated, “God wills that husband and wife, in loyal fulfilment of their duties to one another and to the family, should in the home transmit to the next generation the torch of corporeal life, and with it spiritual and moral life, Christian life; that within the family, under the care of their parents, there should grow up men of straight character, of upright behavior, to become valuable, unspoiled members of the human race, manly in good or bad fortune, obedient to those who command them and to God. That is the will of the Creator.” How much of this utterance refers to the love of God? SUGGESTION FOR PRACTICAL RESOLUTION To recite the act of love most devoutly every night. DISCUSSION V Charity Toward One’s Neighbor i. What Charity Is The love of our fellow man is second in importance only to the love of God. We love God for His own sake, because He is what He is, all-wise, infinitely good, merciful. We love the man who lives across the street from us for the sake of Christ. We believe that Christ is in this man, in all others whom we love, and in the vast numbers whom we should love. Charity simply is not charity unless it is directed to Christ, and modelled upon the general lines that Christ set for it. Charity is giving oneself to another in some manner or other. The doctor who gives a part of his professional services to the poor, gives himself primarily because he believes he is serving Christ in the person of the suffering poor. So do persons who offer counsel in doubt, console the sorrowing, give alms to the needy, or find other ways of helping in difficulty. Unless what is offered is first of all oneself, and unless this self is offered to Christ, what is commonly called charity is not charity at all. After the Last Supper, Jesus addressed His apostles: “A new commandment I give you, that you love one another: that as I have loved you, you also love one another. By this will all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John, 13: 34-35) It is important to consider the whole setting in which these words were solemnly pronounced. The Last Supper had just been finished. The Apostles are humbled now, in their role of first communicants. Jesus has spoken to the “Twelve”, whose num- ber has within the hour been reduced to eleven. The thought in these sacred moments before His departure from them is most serious and fundamental. It ends three years’ intimacy, and is to lead to the most difficult trials. It is uttered in a spirit which sheds a divine light on many of the teachings of our Lord’s pub- lic ministry. How difficult a first serious reading makes this commandment sound: “that as I have loved you , you also love one another/” Like our Lord’s love, ours must be universal. He loved all men, dying for all. Like that of Jesus, our love must anticipate the needs of our friends. Our love must be forgiving, as Jesus forgave those who tortured Him and put Him to death. On another occasion, Jesus described this love of neighbor in terms of eternal reward, in words that have struck home their message to every thinking person of every age: Virtue in the Catholic Home 27 “Come, blessed of my Father, take possession of the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry