Moreau Integration Paper #3 Moreau FYE Integration #3 A Work in Progress I. How It Started When I first read the prompt for this integration paper, I would be lying if I didn’t say I was extremely discouraged. It didn’t help that I was looking over the assignment the weekend before midterms which I had spent studying, crying, and studying some more in Hesburgh library. Yes, Hesburgh—the very same man whose documentary we watched, who changed the world, and was the epitome of the person we are all trying to be. And what had I accomplished in his library you might ask? 24 hours of studying that, if I was lucky, MIGHT earn me a B on an orgo exam. Safe to say, I felt extremely pathetic and questioned my entire existence and life’s purpose. The paper continued to loom over my head for the rest of the week (yes, in part due to the fact that I had pushed it off to study some more for, yet again, that same orgo exam). I lied in bed thinking about what my eulogy might consist of if I had died that day, and I think it would go a little like this: Corinne. Daughter and friend. 2002-2022. To nineteen years of chickening out, stressing, and studying. “Hmmm. That’s a little short,” you might think. Yeah, that’s what I thought too. But when it comes down to it, THAT’S PROBABLY BECAUSE I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING. I DIDN’T EVEN GET INTO THE UNIVERSITY I SPENT ALL OF HIGH SCHOOL WORKING SO HARD TO GET IN TO. I can’t even get myself to go to the gym once a week for crying out loud! I know that economic, athletic, and political achievements aren’t everything. In fact, when I think of a life well lived, I think more of all the relationships I am lucky to have. I do my best to be supportive of my friends and family, the same way that they’ve always been there for me. But, I still think it’s important to highlight other means of success as well to emphasize why I feel that time is running out and why I should be spending a much smaller portion of my time on things that shouldn’t mean as much to me as they do (i.e. school). At the end of the day, there is so much more that I could do for those that I love, and my time would be better spent doing so. Our Moreau conversations have greatly shifted my view on life and have inspired me to be the absolute best version of myself. II. How It’s Going So, how am I going to do this? Well, obviously it’s easier said than done, but based on all of the reflection I’ve done these past few weeks and the sources we’ve investigated, I’ve identified a few areas of my life that I would like to improve: First, I asked myself the question Sister Aletheia encourages everyone to ask themselves on the daily: memento mori? “Memento mori is: Where am I headed, where do I want to end up?” (“The Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die” by Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week Three). My memento mori is family and friends. Even if I’m stuck with the most boring job imaginable, I know I would be happy as long as I am surrounded by my friends and family. These relationships mean so much to me; they have provided me with so much support and happiness, and I know I would be nowhere without them today. When I asked my Mom what she sees as my greatest desire in life, she responded with “your family and friends” (Discernment Conversation Activity - Moreau FYE Week Five). Relationships have always been my memento mori, and they are an area of my life I will never stop valuing. In a follow up question during my discernment conversation, my Mom said that I’ve been at my very best while at college. She says it's because I’ve been under less stress. Stress and anxiety is always something I’ve struggled with, and one of the largest areas I hope to work on as I try to achieve a life well lived. Sometimes I worry that it’s going to start affecting my relationships, especially my new ones at school since it’s usually where I feel the most stressed. I don’t want to scare anyone off. According to Pico Iyer, the World Health Organization (WHO) is concerned with the levels of stress around the world and their effects on people’s lives. He is quoted saying, “Such developments are saving American corporations three hundred billion dollars a year; more important, they’re a form of preemptive medicine at a time when the World Health Organization has been widely quoted as stating that ‘stress will be the health epidemic of the twenty-first century’” (“Why We Need to Slow Down Our Lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week One). The developments he is referring to are studies that show rest and relaxation are key to lowering stress levels. I feel that a productive way for me to incorporate rest and relaxation into my life is through journaling. This New Year, I’ve tried to start a short journaling routine. Of course, whenever I get stressed, that’s the first thing to go even though it might be the most important to maintain in times like those. Some prompts I’ve found especially worthy of reflecting upon are those that consist of what questions. “Why questions can draw us to our limitations; what questions help us see our potential” (“The Right Way to Be Introspective (Yes, There’s a Wrong Way)” by Tasha Eurich - Moreau FYE Week Six). When facing a particularly stressful situation, reflecting on what is at the root of my stress rather than all of the reasons why I need to be stressed has been the most productive at helping me calm down and move forward to a life well lived. For example, sometimes I journal to the questions: What am I grateful for? What is causing me the most worry? What do I want to achieve today? Of course, when deliberating your outlook on life, a question that’s bound to come up is what are you planning to do careerwise? Thinking of a career does stress me out a little (surprise, surprise). I am confident that medical school is not the right environment for me, but with a biology degree, I’m stuck on what else I can do. I know that biology is a subject I love, so I am trying to maintain a more open mindset regarding the future. The Center for Career Development is helping me do so: “Contrary to popular belief, deciding on a major does not determine the rest of your life,” (“Navigating Your Career Journey - Moreau First Year Experience” by the Center https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yZ7hqvx-u4EuW2nlK-fRbWFiurQm1mZv_KpoeeiN4So/edit https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yZ7hqvx-u4EuW2nlK-fRbWFiurQm1mZv_KpoeeiN4So/edit https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ for Career Development - Moreau FYE Week Four). It’s definitely reassuring to hear that my career is not defined by my major. I still have time to make decisions, I still have time to investigate many opportunities, and I still have time to figure out my vocation. To live a life well lived, I think another area I need to grow in is self-love. “Close both eyes; see with the other one. Then, we are no longer saddled by the burden of our persistent judgements, our ceaseless withholding, our constant exclusion. Our sphere has widened, and we find ourselves, quite unexpectedly, in a new, expansive location, in a place of endless acceptance and infinite love” (Tattoos for the Heart by Father Gregory Joseph Boyle - Moreau FYE Week Seven). We all make mistakes and we all have bad days. Just because I think I was awkward in a situation, or I didn’t say something exactly right in a conversation, I can’t beat myself up over every little thing I do wrong. It’s exhausting and completely counterproductive to a life well lived. Father Hesburgh wasn’t concerned with how others perceived him. “He did a lot of things that people would have thought as not particularly priestly, he was entrepreneurial” (Hesburgh by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley - Moreau FYE Week Two). Father Hesburgh focused on his agenda. He did what he believed was right without worrying what other people would think. I know to become the person that I want to be, I need to adopt this same mentality. III. How It Ended With these areas of improvement in mind, I hope I can make changes and shape my life to live in a way that earns a eulogy as follows: Corinne was always an avid Disney fan—a proud Disney adult through and through—so I thought it would be best to memorialize her life and our memories through the Disney characters she embodied best. Those that knew her well knew that Corinne’s favorite character was Mike Wazowski. She always claimed that, in actuality, they were the same person. Like Mike, she was short, a terrible singer, and a great friend. Though she liked to give her best friends a hard time, you knew that it was always out of a place of love. She liked to joke, and if she joked with you, you knew she truly cared. Like Mike Wazowski, she was there for you through thick and thin. Though she might not break as many company policies for you (she was always afraid of authority, wasn’t she?), she would offer all of the support that she could. And speaking of a fear of authority, Corinne truly embodied the character Fear from Inside Out. Skittish and stressed, her mind was all over the place—we all know Fear was in control of her mood panel. But while she saw her fear as a weakness that inhibited her, I saw it as a strength. Even though everything scared her—and I truly mean everything: test taking, introducing herself, driving—she did it all anyway. She once told me that the first time she does anything new, even something as simple as parking on a different street, she would get so stressed she thought she might cry. But she did it every time anyway, even if she had to do it while pushing https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/40291/files/523827?module_item_id=167955#:~:text=Download%20_Tattoos%20on%20the%20Heart_%20%2D%20Chapter%208_%20Jurisdiction%20(1).pdf https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 through tears. I found that that made her brave, empathetic, and a better friend to those during their moments of vulnerability. She never judged someone for what they were stressed about or what they were scared of. You could talk to her about anything. And how could I possibly conclude this without comparing her to one of the Disney princesses. If Corinne were any of the princesses, she would have to be Anna from Frozen. Not the leader like her sister Elsa, or the charming optimist friend like Olaf, but the determined and hardworking best friend who never gave up on those she loved. Those who ever had the pleasure of working with Corinne would know that her work ethic was unsurpassable. She never submitted anything until she was proud of what she had created. Though she might not try as many new things or get involved in an array of activities, she would support her friends along every step of their journey while she worked hard at the few things in her life. Like Anna, her family and friends came first and everyone could count on her to see them through hard times. But as much as Corinne loved Disney, there is no character who can embody her spirit wholly. Her friends and family always came first. She was extremely empathetic and supportive. She could make you feel better after any hard day. She was a delight to be around. She is someone I am very grateful touched my life.