Moreau First Year Experience Integration 1 Megan McIntyre Comment by Michael Comuniello: @mmcinty3@nd.edu -- Megan, thank you so much for sharing a rough draft of your integration assignment with me. For the most part, it is VERY well done. I'll have some questions and comments for you to further reflect on after you submit your final draft. For now, I've just made comments specific to the technical aspects of your integration reflection. Most notably, I believe there are a few instances where you could more directly tie in your own experience, stories, etc. from the semester. Expected Assignment Grade: 188/200 _Assigned to Megan McIntyre_ 10/14/21 My Roots and My Trees 1. I believe that I am responsible for making everyone feel loved and appreciated. The origin of my first root belief comes from my own need for love and belonging. I think that in order for people to establish connections with one another, they need to first have a sense of acceptance. It is imperative that we as human beings build a place where everyone feels welcome and appreciated. In a world where there is so much diversity and so many conflicting ideas, this may sometimes be challenging. However, while we do not always have to agree with each other, we hold the responsibility to respect each other. For example, one of my close friends here is not religious. She does not go to church and does not hold the same religious beliefs as myself and many of my Catholic friends. However, she never makes fun of our faith or discredits its validity. In fact, I have had some of the most interesting discussions with her regarding faith: we have spoken about the purpose of church and delved into why we each believe what we do. We have not let our differences in opinion get in the way of our friendship. Comment by Michael Comuniello: Megan, you touch on this in the next few sentences, but I'm wondering how you might better incorporate your own experiences and relationships here. What experience comes to mind where you may not have agreed with someone, but you were able to demonstrate mutual respect? What did this look like? As referenced in the article, “5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship,” truly valuable relationships require respect and appreciation of both parties. As I spoke about in my Week 4 reflection, I choose friends who I know would go out of their way to include or interact with me. When I feel valued, I am far happier, so I try my best to extend this happiness to others so they can feel the same (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia T. Taylor - Moreau FYE Week 4). 2. I believe that I forge life-giving relationships by surrounding myself with people who truly care about me and my happiness. Life-giving relationships involve people who appreciate our uniqueness. These people drive us to be better versions of ourselves; they hope we succeed and are happy when we are happy. They are the people we want to be like: our role models and peers. Those who uplift are far more successful than those who look to simply push others down. In my English class last year, we learned the phrase: “lift as you raise.” This phrase applies to all aspects of life, whether it be grades, social hierarchy, or general power. While I am taking classes at Mendoza (hello, Mendoza curve!), at Notre Dame, I rarely find people who are not willing to help others succeed. Even in the classes which are curved based on the success of the rest of the class, my fellow classmates are almost always willing to lend a hand. David Brooks spoke about the importance of finding our Adam 2 characters: the character within ourselves who is more focused on building valuable connections in order to achieve true happiness (“Should You Live for your Resume or Your Eulogy?”: David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week 2). Therefore, I reject the true importance of material wealth and visible status, so pursued by our Adam 1 characters. I think that serving others will contribute to both our own happiness and that of those around us. 3. I believe that I grow by accepting myself, including my differences and flaws. There are parts of me which I do not always love. I often question my intelligence. I wonder whether people truly enjoy being around me. I critique my own appearance, my performance in sports, my ability to form relationships. In the past, I was insecure about enjoying my schoolwork; about being Asian in a school filled with mainly caucasian people. I was ashamed to eat my mother’s Korean food she packed for lunch; to join clubs labelled as “nerdy.” Comment by Michael Comuniello: To the extent you feel comfortable sharing, Megan, what are these aspects? Later on you, discuss that "pursuing things that made me happy and unique" helped you flourish; similarly, what are these things? Also, what experiences at ND have allowed you to further flourish? Through the years, I have learned to not hide these aspects, but to accept them. I know that in order for me to build strong relationships with others and to make connections, as well as make others feel accepted, I first need to love and value myself. As stated in the video, “The Power of Vulnerability,” we build the strongest relationships by expressing ourselves in the most authentic way and being open to sharing inner pieces of ourselves with others (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week 1). In middle school, I would describe myself as very closed off and quite shy. As I began to open up, I saw my friends grow and become closer. I developed as a person as I came out of my shell and pursued the things that made me happy and unique. I stopped hiding the fact that I would sometimes rather read a book in my room than go out with my friends; or make Asian food than pick up Chick-fil-a. I found my niche with people who either shared common interests or simply accepted mine. As stated by Father Pete in “The Role of Faith in Our Story,” (“The Role of Faith in Our Story,” : Fr. Pete McCormick - Moreau FYE Week 3), the greatest journey you will ever go on is one of self-discovery. In order to know others and to seek happiness and joy in life, we need to first know ourselves best. In some ways, I believe we need to serve ourselves even before we serve others. We can not extend love and appreciation if we do not have any love and appreciation for ourselves. For example, multiple times this semester my family or friends from home needed comforting. However, I am unable to comfort others when I myself am feeling insecure or extremely stressed out. In order to help my close friends/family, I need to take a few moments to reflect on my own feelings. If I am stressed out or anxious, I try to identify the source and try to resolve the issue before I can comfort or help others. I will always make an effort to call my sister if I know she has a test, or is stressed out, even if I am short on time. I have spoken with one of my friends from home, who is having difficulties adjusting to college life, for hours - trying to comfort them and support them. By doing this, I have also helped myself as I end up having conversations which lighten the moods of both my friends/family and myself. Comment by Michael Comuniello: How are you serving yourself, so as to better serve others? What has this looked like this semester thus far? George Ella Lyon states, “no one else sees the world as you do; no one else has your material to draw on.” No one else has the same background and upbringing and experiences as you (“Where I’m From” by George Ella Lyon - Moreau Week 6). As we all are different, this begs the question: Why should we suppress these differences rather than celebrate them? Once we accept our own differences, we become far more open to everyone else’s differences as well. 4. I believe that my purpose is to serve the less fortunate and make the world a better place in any way I can. Here at Notre Dame, it is clear that most of us are extremely fortunate when it comes to resources. We have access to an amazing education and many of us have all the resources we need to succeed right at our fingertips. This is not the case for most of the rest of the world. While I grew up mostly blinded from the ways that those who are less fortunate live, I have begun to recognize the gravity of the suffering and need of others. I have grown to understand the importance of not only being grateful for what I have, but using what I have to help those who are not as fortunate. Father Kevin Grove spoke about the duty we have as humans to help those in need. We need not help others to further our social image or improve the way others see us, but out of direct obligation (“Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education”: Fr. Kevin Grove - Moreau FYE Week 5). This idea directly connects with the idea of the “universal destination of goods,” which I studied in my Theology class. This is the concept that God created this world for the enjoyment of everyone. It professes that those with excess are essentially stealing from the poor, as they are taking more than they need while the poor do not have enough. It is my root belief, which I try to reflect in my actions (by volunteering, donating, and helping others), that everyone who is able to must join to help those in need. 5. I believe that I am searching for knowledge and understanding of the world around me: exposure to multiple perspectives and ideas. Though I come from a hometown in which I was exposed to multiple cultures and backgrounds, it is nothing compared to what I have encountered once I ventured past that. Through my short college experience thus far, I have learned so much about cultures, beliefs, and backgrounds that I never even knew existed. I have met people who grew up in Africa; people who have certain dietary restrictions due to their religion, and people who have moved over 10 times in their life. These types of people bring their own point of view and experiences here to Notre Dame, for others to learn from in order to broaden our perspectives. I come from a multicultural family, so I have grown up celebrating diversity. While I thought I had a firm grasp on the experiences and backgrounds people have to offer, I simply did not. In many ways, I have led a sheltered life. According to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, this is extremely dangerous. When we are not fully informed on a concept, whether it is a part of a foreign culture, or a different belief or religion, we tend to simply make the easy generalizations (“Danger of a Single Story”: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Moreau FYE Week 7). Knowing one aspect of a particular culture or lifestyle is never enough - we must seek knowledge in order to promote acceptance of all people. While it is challenging to continue to broaden horizons when this type of information is not generally taught in school, it is imperative that we all seek understanding of the humans around us so that we may coexist. Comment by Michael Comuniello: What particular experiences or examples come to mind, Megan?