Integration 2



Word Count: 1346

A Semester of Challenging My Expectations, Perspective, Identity, and Relationships

I have encountered challenges when celebrating success.
I thought I was going to struggle in college academically. I thought I was not

gonna be smart enough to compete with every other smart student. However, this
semester I have found success and joy in learning and studying. Through all the hard
work, I have been given amazing academic opportunities. Despite these successes, I
still doubt that I deserve them. This is a result of imposter syndrome. I have heard about
imposter syndrome before but Elizabeth Cox breaks the idea down in the video “What is
imposter syndrome and how can you combat it?“. Cox explains that imposter syndrome
exists when someone feels they are not worthy of their success or downplay the
success that they have (“What is imposter syndrome and how can you combat it?” by
Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine). Everyone encounters this feeling regardless
of occupation, race or gender causing many to feel like imposters in whatever they do.
Unknowingly, I have experienced imposter syndrome since high school. I often
downplayed my successes as I did not want to look like I was bragging, hurt others
feelings, or have people question why I deserved or received certain successes. The
main factor for this was my consistent overthinking. Throughout this semester, I have
only become more aware of my overthinking. I always thought that everyone
over-thought like I did. However, Cox also discusses in the video that “everyone is
susceptible to a phenomenon known as pluralistic ignorance, where we each doubt
ourselves privately, but believe we’re alone in thinking that way because no one else
voices their doubts” (“What is imposter syndrome and how can you combat it?” by
Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine). After voicing my doubts with those closest to
me, I have realized that, while many share similar thoughts or feelings, I overthink more
than many of my friends and peers. Since becoming aware of my overthinking, I have
been able to work on my thought processes to enjoy moments more than overanalyze
them. To help with this, I have also been working on lowering my expectations. Julia
Hogan identifies that expectations often hinder individuals from living a fulfilling life as
they try to achieve what they or others deem to be a perfect life, job, or body (“Why
Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habits” by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week
Nine). Due to the height of my expectations, many things do not satisfy my expectations
leading to disappointment, fear, and stress. Through reflecting on the way I react to
experiences, I have realized that in order to celebrate my successes, I need to work on
reducing the amount I overthink and lowering my expectations.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo
https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau
https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau


I have encountered conflict from those with different perspectives.
While the nation is more diverse than ever, the nation is also very divided.

Reverend John I. Jenkins, C.S.C. acknowledged in the “Wesley Theological Seminary
Commencement” that “we in this country are in the midst of a social crisis, a harsh and
deepening split between groups that are all too ready to see evil in each other… Both
sides call for change, but each believes it’s the other side that must change” (“Wesley
Theological Seminary Commencement” by Reverend John I. Jenkins, C.S.C. - Moreau
FYE Week Ten). This polarization has led people to not want to cooperate and instead
convict others. This has created a lot of violence and oppression. While I consider
myself to be accepting and open to others opinions, this polarization has made it hard to
have quality conversations with other people especially about controversial issues such
as politics. In order to be able to respond in situations where I feel uncomfortable, I will
use a “both/and” mindset as presented by Christopher J. Devron in his article “Should
Catholic Schools Teach Critical Race Theory?”. A “both/and” mindset connects many
perspectives to make an inclusive solution (“Should Catholic Schools Teach Critical
Race Theory?” by Christopher J. Devron - Moreau FYE Week Ten). This mindset
stresses empathy for others' opinions and feelings. Empathy helps to create deeper
understanding in relationships and conversations as it allows people to be more aware
of different points of view, experiences, and struggles. Professor Agustin Fuentes
supports this claim by stating, “exposure and access to different types of people, to
different life experiences, to different ways of seeing the world offers insight and allows
us to be in a position to think about change” (“Diversity Matters!” by Professor Agustin
Fuentes - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). From these resources, I have deduced that to
improve my responses in difficult or controversial conversations, I need to surround
myself with many different people and empathize with others using a “both/and”
mindset.

I have encountered questions of my identity.
Throughout my first semester of college, I have experienced many changes.

Some of these changes have led me to question my identity. For example, sports have
been a huge part of my life since before I can remember, greatly influencing my life,
relationships, and identity. However, since coming to college, I have found it hard to
make time for physical activities. This change has led me to question my identity and be
frustrated by my lack of effort. This is related to ideas discussed in the book “The
Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis. In the book, she discusses the idea that as humans
we will have peaks (high or happy points) and troughs (low or sad points) in our lives.
Lewis expands on this idea in the book by explaining that troughs “are merely a natural
phenomenon which will do us no good unless you make good use of it” (“The
Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). This line is meant to

https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/
https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/
https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2021/06/03/critical-race-theory-catholic-high-schools-black-lives-matter-240792
https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2021/06/03/critical-race-theory-catholic-high-schools-black-lives-matter-240792
https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=d14a0472-9c0e-44ea-bd39-53c67ee1d436
https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28177/files/188541?module_item_id=105321
https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28177/files/188541?module_item_id=105321


inform the reader that while times may seem hard or boring, you can still make the best
of them and continue to move forward based on how you approach them. Since being
at Notre Dame, I have learned that perspective determines a lot. I have seen both
positive and negative perspectives greatly impact how people view and act in different
situations. For myself, I can notice a strong difference between the two perspectives. I
know that when I have a positive attitude, I am more likely to acknowledge the good in
situations. To help me to adopt this positive attitude, I will remind myself that the only
thing I can control is myself, so to make the most of a situation or to change a situation I
have to change my mindset or actions.

I have encountered the importance of good relationships.
I have always been an extroverted person that thrives the most being around

people. However, I have learned that the quality of the people I surround myself with
has a direct impact on how I feel about myself. After reflecting on many social
situations, I have noticed a real difference between the moments I am with strangers or
people that do not care about me and the moments I am with my closest friends that
care deeply about my well-being. This has aided me in creating or maintaining
relationships throughout the semester as well as in appreciating existing relationships.
Overall, I have learned that quality is much greater than quantity. In the article “Thirteen
Ways of Looking at Community”, Parker J. Palmer discusses the idea of a true
community. Palmer explains that community is created through connecting with others
(“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week
Eleven). These communities are not always simple, but the article showed me that
community is a gift not a goal that everyone deserves. I hope that in growing with my
relationships, I learn to appreciate them and myself. Having good relationships with
others is important, but it is more important to have a quality relationship with yourself.
In order to cultivate good relationships, I need to work on creating a solid foundation
within myself. I will do this by learning how to balance alone time with social time.

http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/