Integration 1: To Love is to Breathe




10/15/21

To love is to breathe

I believe that even though my past does not control me it has certainly taught me

Growing up in a state where people struggled to have their basic needs met taught me that

things need to change, I need to change. If I did not change who or what will. Who would change

and be better than what was before? My home taught me that people suffer and others quietly

look the other way. I could let my birthplace keep me stuck in the past and control my actions,

but if I did not learn from the lessons it shared how could I be any different. “I’m from a land

exploited for its people and resources… I am from a soul that has seen the world, the good and

bad, and thinks all of it is worth saving” (“I Am From” by  - Moreau FYE Week

Six). Those two lines encapsulate my upbringing and how I perceive it. People were forgotten

about and exploited, and oftentimes it made the world dark, but even in those dark moments

people preserved. It was seeing the awfulness of what was going on in my state but also

witnessing the kindness and the acceptance of the people simply living that made it clear I had

learned from these events and not be controlled by them. As the class shared their “I Am From”

poems I realized that this is a common human thing. We are products of our past, but not in the

sense that we cannot change, but products as we can learn from those experiences and be better.

There was a quote I heard long ago that went something like this, “A lot of times we become the

person we needed when we were children.” That has definitely happened even in just these 19

years of my life. This becoming of a person we once needed is more about learning from the

lessons our environment showed than trying to fix the pain of our past. It shows that we notice

https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1Q8lJqLMt_7C7KT_jK7R6w-KTqTIDL5xMLANFXiEX_RQ/edit


and we did not forget what we saw. It shows that we have to be the change ourselves or nothing

will.

I believe that no story can exist by itself

“Nothing exists in a vacuum,” is what my high school history teacher would tell my

class and that statement cannot be truer even when thinking about our own story. My story of

course is about me, but it also contains the lives of others I have met through my journey. My

story holds my heartbreaks, my laughs, my joyful moments, and everything I have ever

experienced, but it also houses my grandmother’s story, my sisters’, my friends back home, my

friend’s here, even the small conversation I overheard while walking to class. Without the stories

of others where would I be, who would I be? There is a danger to the single story, and there is

also a danger in a secluded story. “Stories matter. Many stories matter. Stories have been used to

dispossess and to malign, but stories can also be used to empower and to humanize” (“The

Danger of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Adichie - Moreau FYE Week Seven). If I seculed my

story, lock it away, and never share I will never be able to continue it. I will never be able to hear

other stories and relate them to my own. I would never be able to show vulnerability and

compassion as I wouldn't be able to even show it to myself. If many stories matter that then

means my story matter, and it is in my story that also holds the stories of others. “… what you

realize is that connection is why we’re here. It’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives”

(“The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown” - Moreau FYE week one). Vulnerability allows

stories to be shared, and without the direct act of being vulnerable there will always only be a

single story. The idea is further elaborated on when looking at one of Fr. Sorin’s letter sent to Bl.

Basil Moreau (“Letter to Father General Moreau by Fr. Sorin” - Moreau Week Five). This letter

https://www.ted.com/search?q=The+danger+of+a+single+story
https://www.ted.com/search?q=The+danger+of+a+single+story
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o56woQDq3QrRkziT8eYrvYly5CQaP2Vb/view


highlights that it is in the story of others that we often begin to understand that no story can exist

on its own. Fr. Sorin would have not founded Notre Dame Du Lac if it wasn’t for the story of Bl.

Moreau or the people already inhabiting the land that he came to. We would not be at this

university if others did not take time to listen to Fr. Sorin’s story and carry it with them, and now

over 150 years later we still carry the story of Fr. Sorin with us.

I believe that a life worth living is one where you live for yourself

We often busy our lives trying to strive for goals not set by ourselves. Whether that is

more money, a degree our parents want us to have, cool tech gadgets, or even people, we often

don't stop and think about us. We are the ones living our lives, feeling our emotions, having our

ambitions. Stories can broaden our horizons, the past can teach us, and love can help us, but if

we are not the ones living our lives, what good does all those things do? Being your true self is

more than just being open to others and sharing your deepest desires. Being your true self is

caring for your mind and body. It is being vulnerable and letting yourself be human, it’s

forgiving yourself when you neglect your needs. Being your true self is accepting yourself for

who you are without any input from others. “No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the

standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own standpoint. Therefore we must be saved by that

final form of love, which is forgiveness” (“Should You Live For Your Resume or Your Eulogy?”

by David Brooks - Moreau FYE week 2). Forgiveness is the goal for living a life for yourself and

not for others. We often seek affirmation and forgiveness for our deeds from others, but rarely do

we seek them from within ourselves, and it is our own being that has done those actions so it

should be our responsibility to forgive ourselves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM


I believe that I am alive to care.

The act of caring is the embodiment of all the goodness a human can offer. To truly care

for someone at any moment takes compassion, selflessness, love, hope, faith, and many times

even forgiveness. Caring is the true form of unconditional love; an outward expression of

something human language has yet to describe. Caring is not just a one way street; as one begins

to care for another they are shaped by the act themselves. One learns by caring that they deserve

the same done to them and as one continues to care they begin radiating that kindness from

within. “Their very voices and faces are different from ours; stronger, quieter, happier, more

radiant… You tend to think that you are being kind to them when they are really being kind to

you” (“Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” by David Fagerberg” - Moreau Week Three).

I believe that loving is easy

Love is often treated as if it's an exhaustive act; that it takes immense effort and

emotional energy to perform, and sometimes it does. However, love should not be

difficult;“Love shouldn't hurt” as the GRC says. Throughout my life I have battled with that idea

in my personal relationships and it has been only recently that I truly understand what it means.

Love should not be something that takes away from oneself, and yet sometimes we are taught to

sacrifice ourselves for love. Sometimes you have to compromise in relationships, but sacrificing

something of yourself is what makes love painful and oftentimes unhealthy. To love someone is

to be at rest, to let out a weary breath in front of someone and feel safe and relaxed. Love is

caring and attention. “Great, fruitful conversation comes from two people engaging in one

another’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences” (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship by Olivia

https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/
https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/


Taylor” - Moreau FYE Week Four). To love is to share and engage with another human being.

“To love is to breathe” is a statement I found months ago, and it is a statement that I have

followed and held close as I have continued my journey. To be capable of it, to be worthy of it, to

do the act of it is to simply breathe and that is all one has to do to experience love in all its

capacities.

https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/