Integration One—Donohoe Donohoe 1 Mr. Nguyen Moreau FYE 14 October 2021 “Spiritual Life Alters the Cockeyed Lighting That Makes Us the Center of the Universe”: Self-Sacrificing Love as a Guide for the Human Experience Root Beliefs (form best as a collective story): I believe that I create lifelong friendships through extensive emotional effort alongside a need to be present. I believe that I am influenced the most by unexpected sources. I believe that my ultimate purpose is to reach Agape love in my relationships. Continuing my Catholic education at Notre Dame following a Jesuit high school experience that focused on cura personalis (the care for the whole person) and living as a man for and with others, I arrived at Notre Dame with a deep understanding of the possibilities in which a faith-centered institution may shape me as a human being but without a firm grasp on what form these changes may take or how they would influence the lives of myself and those around me. Human growth stems from experience—human interaction, success, failure. Through aiming to not only listen to others when they share their life experiences but truly make them feel heard, acknowledged, and accepted, I believe that I forge life-giving friendships through making a genuine effort with every person I encounter, understanding and responding to their shared Donohoe 2 thoughts, and relinquishing deep stories and experiences of my own, in hopes of a shared bond leading to mutual growth and understanding. While arriving to college thousands of miles away from home, only knowing a few kids from my high school or neighboring schools, can create a mental stigma to race into quick friendships and relationships to rapidly fill the gap once held by former peers and friends from home, I believe cultivating true friendships requires dedication and a willingness to break past social barriers, arriving at the core of other’s personalities and character. Speaking on Notre Dame and its formation and foundation, Father Kevin Grove shared that “[E]ducation leads us out of the darkness of ignorance and even sometimes sin, first into society, as people committed to integrity and to each other. And then into the final hope of a life together as one, in heaven” (“Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education” by Father Kevin Grove C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week Five). At the core of our Notre Dame education and experience exists human connection and spiritual contemplation. Forming true connections unequivocally requires equal effort as any other component of our Notre Dame experience, from academics to sports and extracurriculars: “[C]onnection is why we’re here; it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives; this is what it’s all about.” (“The power of vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). This opening, first week concept of forming strong bonds with others existing as the root of our existence serves as a focal point for the entire Moreau course, and Notre Dame’s mission as a whole. I believe that humans are influenced the most by unexpected sources—those by some external circumstances that arrive in our lives and change our outlook and idea of truth and belonging; my roommate quickly became that first source promoting an ontological change in my understanding of shaping my narrative and self-worth. Notre Dame promotes the week five-seven missions of “Identifying narratives,” “Identifying Influences,” and “Influencing https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=emb_logo Donohoe 3 Perspectives” before we even arrive on campus by pairing us with a random roommate. Forming relationships can be prematurely tarnished through implicit bias, “[setting] people up to overgeneralize” (“How to Think about 'Implicit Bias'” by Keith Payne, Laura Niemi, and John M. Doris - Moreu FYE Week Seven). I made the mistake of assuming I would lack many commonalities with my roommate, as we grew up in vastly different countries on opposite ends of the earth. Regardless of experiences (granted we do have many interests in common), our unique perspectives further contribute to mutual growth far more than any overlaps. Recently my RA asked me “what was the deepest conversation I ever had with another person?” While I can think of others I’ve shared with family members, in the moment the first conversation that popped into my head was shared between myself and my roommate the first night we met; he showcased how “no one else sees the world as you do” (“Where I'm From, a poem by George Ella Lyon, writer and teacher” by George Ella Lyon - Moreu FYE Week Six). We had alone time to discuss questions to break the ice, and we ended on the following topic: what influential figures in our lives shaped our lives so far, and how did we arrive at ND. I talked about my parents, brother, friends, mentors, and other people in my life. I went first and gave a decent effort into my answer but omitted some parts where I could have dove deeper into their character and influence; my roommate, deep in thought of his answer, focused on one person in his life, and her lasting message to him before he set off for college. For context, my roommate arrived here from Nepal, living in a children’s home, and had only been to the U.S. once prior after his 8th grade year after winning an essay contest to do a month in U.S. schooling. His influential figure that shaped his framework and self-knowledge before arriving to ND was the founder of his children’s home, Maggie. My roommate, explaining her story, shared the following: had his parents raised him, he would have grown up without education, been married https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-think-about-implicit-bias/ http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html Donohoe 4 off at a young age, worked manual labor his whole life, had kids, and if he worked super hard, he would be able to afford education for his child within his area—but an extensive or upper level education. The next generation, his child would grow up, get married, have kids, and if the child worked super hard, his grandchild would be able to receive education at a higher level school in his region. Flash forward to the third generation, if his grandchild worked incredibly hard in his life, as well as received a bit of luck as none of this was guaranteed, then he would be able to send his child to Kathmandu, the capital to study. The following generation, already a 100 years in the future, would follow his great grandchild, who if he worked super hard in his life and prospered, would be able to send his child abroad to the U.S. to study at a college, and finally, in the fifth generation, my roommate’s great great grandkid, over a hundred years in the future, if he/she worked super hard would be able to grow up, get married, have a child, and send him/her to any top college in the U.S. (if they worked super hard). The point Maggie made was that whenever my roommate is feeling out of place, unworthy of being here, or overall disheartened, he knows deep inside that because of his doing he changed the course of the lives of the next five generations of his family, and changed the lives of all those that he would interact with alongside those impacted by his future children. That moment not only revealed the care and compassion of my roommate and his willingness to share his life experiences in hopes of sharing advice and guidance but also pinpointed just how Notre Dame would uniquely influence my life: by providing me with the opportunity to connect with those across the nation and the world with fundamentally different worldviews and experiences that also are wishing to grow. Week Four’s topic of “Searching for Life-giving Relationships” included the following quote on friendship: “A good, healthy friendship is one where two people are mutually growing and on a path toward becoming better people” (5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ Donohoe 5 T. Taylor - Moreau FYE Week Four). Stating that we should always put an effort into forming connections regardless of the person, I wholeheartedly believed (and continue to believe) that effort should be yielded in every human interaction, yet I am still witnessing how my Notre Dame experience would build upon my friendships. At Notre Dame, we are called “to live in a way internally that honors God, creation, and our possibilities” (“David Brooks: Should you live for your résumé ... or your eulogy?” by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two), and honoring these fundamental influences in our lives means modeling our relationships after the Agape (a focal point of my GGL course lessons and my high school Kairos talk), self-sacrificing love that God has for humanity. I believe that reaching Agape love in our relationships is the ultimate goal— our ultimate purpose; furthermore, I believe the journey to reaching Agape reveals the communities we join or abandon, the truth we pursue or question, and the people we fully love or shun away as time progresses forward. Early in Week Three, I disagreed with part of the following quote: “Spiritual life is not a private and secret place in our hearts… Spiritual life alters the cockeyed lighting that makes us the center of the universe” (“Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” by Professor David Fagerberg - Moreau FYE Week Three). However, as I continue the Moreau course and overall Notre Dame journey, I continue to witness the ways that sharing our understanding of faith and journeys benefits those that are willing to converse. While I do believe that there are times when practicing faith in private can strengthen oneself, the overall mission of our spiritual journey should undoubtedly include others to shape our beliefs, narrative, and overall life perspective. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau