Nicholas Langan Professor Chan Moreau FYE March 4 2022 The Eulogy of Nicholas Langan My name is Nicholas John Langan, I am from Cincinnati, Ohio, and I am the person to which this eulogy will be referencing. Before I say any more, I want to say that I know that there are many of you that I was not able to speak my full truth to, and to that I would like to apologize. We never really do have enough time in our lives, and I did try my best to form meaningful relationships along the way. But, for those who I was unable to develop an in-depth relationship with I am truly sorry. With that being said, I would like to address the way in which I attempted to live my life. One of the worst things that a person can do is to get as much done in as little time as possible. When someone moves through life too quickly, they can’t really enjoy all the little things. In my life, I believe that I was able to enjoy these little things. I think that I was able to analyze information and experiences that I went through, ensuring that I got the most out of every experience and never made the same mistake twice. In a Ted Talk from Week 1 of Moreau, Pico Iyer put it best saying, “The ability to gather information, which used to be so crucial, is now far less important than the ability to sift through it” (Why We Need to Slow Down Our LIves by Pico Iyer Ted Talk – Moreau FYE Week 1). Personally, I couldn’t have said it better. Throughout my life, I attempted to live by this principle of not focusing so much on how much you are able to do or how much information you can gather, but instead on the quality and depth to which you experience these things. I believe that I lived a life-well lived. I also believe that this is a very confusing topic for most. People always get confused at what exactly a life well lived is. Is there a set standard? My Moreau class at the University of Notre Dame provided me with the answer to this question. When looking at a list of https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ important Notre Dame students and graduates who are making a difference in the world, I found a great quote about a man named Matt Conaghan. This quote stated, “Conaghan leads the conception, creation, and promotion of marketing materials while also focusing on design and charity growth” (Domer Dozen featuring Matt Conaghan – Moreau FYE Week 2). For Matt, a life well-lived meant using his job and career to help those around him who needed it the most. For me, a life well-lived always meant helping those around me using the resources that I had. I believe that using all my resources, from my job to my friends, I was able to go out into the world and make a difference. To me, this characterized a life well-lived just like it did for Matt. Along with helping others, it is also imperative to challenge oneself. This means asking difficult questions that help you become the best version of yourself. For me, that question was, what brings me joy? I remember many times in my life when I struggled with this. I knew that joy was something more than just being happy, but what exactly was it and how was I to find it? In Week 3 of my Moreau class at the University of Notre Dame, I was reading Michael Himes’ article on the Three Key Questions in life, and he gave a great definition of joy. He said that joy was “the sense of the rightness of the way in which one is living one’s life” (Three Key Question by Michael Himes – Moreau FYE Week 3). Just like when I was trying to figure out what living a life well-lived meant, I realized once again that it was up to me. What brought me joy was completely determined by whether or not I was receiving a feeling of righteousness or not. Like before, this made me realize that helping others brought me more joy than almost anything else. This is a major reason why I devoted so much of my time to the betterment of those around me. My best advice to whoever is reading this and is confused about what really brings them joy, think about what you feel in your heart. When you do something that truly brings you joy, you won’t just be happy. You will feel it in your heart. All I can say is follow your heart and you will never go wrong. https://domerdozen.nd.edu/ The idea of following your heart brings me to my next point. You have to know yourself before you can figure out what is truly going to bring you joy and lead to you living a life well-lived. This means that before you make any major decisions in life, “you have to know yourself first – your values, interests, personality, and skills” (Navigating Your Career Journey by Meruelo Family Center for Career Development – Moreau FYE Week 4). For me, I found that finding a peaceful place to just sit and relax allowed me to best discover myself. My favorite place to go was always the beach down the block from my house during sunsets. I would just stare at the horizons and take deep breathes and allow my mind to think freely. When I did this and wasn’t worrying about anything, I was able to discover what really mattered to me. Those things being family, friends, and helping those in need. My number one value that I believed in was just spreading kindness and it was often in these peaceful moments that I was able to think of ways to spread this kindness. Congruent with what I just said, getting to know yourself is incredibly important, but relationships with others is incredibly important as well. Other people can inform you of things about yourself that you don’t even notice. I remember a specific conversation I had with my sister during my freshman year of college. I called her and was talking to her about what was going on in my life and after hearing all the things that I was worried about, she told me that I worry too much and that I need to relax and focus on the important things. She also told me that she was proud of the resilience that I showed through difficult times in my life like when I got shoulder surgery (Moreau FYE Week 5). This conversation brought things to light about myself that I didn’t even realize. Also, when we listen to others, positive things will come of it as well. Throughout my life, I always attempted to have deep and meaningful conversations with my friends and family, and I feel as if these conversations gave me great insight into my own being that I might have not otherwise discovered. Now I know that most people reading this are thinking that all this self-reflection is really easy to talk about, but actually finding time to do this in our busy lives seems difficult. What I found in my many https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ years is that it doesn’t take much time to successfully reflect on our lives. Actually, “the more time the participants spend in introspection, the less self-knowledge they have” (The Right Way to be Introspective by Tasha Eurich – Moreau FYE Week 6). This seems directly contradictory to what most people think. How is it possible that the more time you spend thinking the less you learn about yourself? In my life, I learned that the more time that you spend thinking about yourself, the more you begin to overthink things. If you are constantly self-reflecting, people have the tendencies to begin to overthink and make assumptions about themselves that may not be entirely true. When I was younger, I would often overthink things and find myself worrying and confused about things that were very clear. I would self-reflect all the time, whether it was at night before I went to bed or in the morning on the car ride to school or work. Later on in life, I learned that a very minimal amount of time for self-reflection was optimal because I only had enough time to address the matter which were most directly impacting my life. In this way I was able to get the most out of my self-reflection without overthinking trivial matters. Beyond just connecting with ourselves, I found that forming relationships with others was one of the most important things that I did in my life. This can be a daunting task for many. For me, I found it quite simple. To best display how I approached this concept, I am going to use a quote from Pope Francis that says, “remember that the ‘other’ is not a statistic, or a number” (Why The Only Future Worth Building Includes Everyone by Pope Francis – Moreau FYE Week 7). This perfectly encapsulates who a person should try to make relationships with. Everyone. What I learned in my life is that as humans, we need to try to make a relationship with nearly everyone that we meet. The seriousness of these relationships can vary, but to find total joy and happiness, it is imperative that we reach out to all of those around us. Now I’m not saying that I was best friends with the person I saw walking their dog once a week in the neighborhood, but I most definitely stopped and talked to them every single time I passed. This is important because the next time that I see that person walking their dog, I receive a small https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcrip https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcrip sense of joy knowing that I am going to be able to have a conversation with them and smile, and if you can find joy in something, why avoid it? Honestly, life is crazy. My life was crazy, your life is probably crazy, and everyone’s life is crazy. No one has ever said that it was going to be easy, but if you would like to look back on your life and feel as if you have lived a life well-lived, listen closely. First, use my advice to help you determine what a life well-lived really means to you. Do some self-reflection and talk to those closest to you. Once you discover what this life looks like, go out and live it. Take initiative in life and go after what you want. Make relationships, find joy, help others, and enjoy the ride because you only get to do it once. If I had to leave you as the reader with one phrase to help you live your best life, it would be to follow your heart in whatever you do and never give up on your dreams.