Integration Three My Idea of a Well-Lived Life As I began to think about how I would want to be remembered, all that came to my mind was family and friends– all of my loved ones. I am a hard-working person and find value in my education and setting myself up for a good future career, but I believe those aspects of my life are strictly temporary in the sense that they cannot continue to benefit me after my time on earth. When I think about a eulogy I think about defining words, the words of greatest meaning–mother, father, sister, brother, wife, husband, friend. These words are based upon relationships, unlike words such as boss, coworker, employee. Although work related terms do have value as well, I would like to be defined by my relationships full of love and care. Similarly, being remembered for compassion, sincerity, kindness, and patience are much more admirable than to be remembered as studious, career-oriented, focused, and prepared. In conclusion, I believe work and family to be generally separate components of one’s life and I would want my life to be primarily defined by the familial component. I am at my happiest when I am surrounded by other people, specifically those that I care for and that care for me. In week one, I wrote about technology and work dominating people’s lives to the point of needing breaks and time to slow down. One such quote that reflected the busyness of life was, “Don’t just do something. Sit there” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer, TED - Moreau FYS Week One). I often feel as if I should always be doing something of value, but at this point in my life I interchange value with schoolwork or studying. I need to keep reminding myself that there is value in time for self-care or to develop and maintain relationships with friends and family. Value does not only need to be defined by schoolwork, but must also be defined by establishing relationships, because at the end of our lives our focus will be on our loved ones, not on our past education and careers. Education and hard work must not be discredited, because setting oneself up for a successful future career will ultimately benefit one’s relationships by removing stressors such as finances; but this simply shows that the purpose found in careers is not to merely keep moving up until one is at the top but instead to work hard to be able to increase their quality of life and that of their loved ones. There is such a strong focus in society on the importance of careers and setting up a work related future for yourself. While this is extremely important and necessary, I believe it is often forgotten that one’s career is not what should be the main component defining their lives. In week two, I watched the video about Father Hesburgh’s life (“Hesburgh” by Jerry Barca and https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41005/modules/items/144072 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41005/modules/items/144072 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41005/modules/items/144076 Christine O'Malley - Moreau FYE Week Two). While his career seemed to be a central part of the video, it was not really his career being focused on but the relationships he developed throughout his career. When I reflect upon the video now, I do not remember his job titles or academic accomplishments, but I can remember the specific examples of love he showed to all he was surrounded by–from political leaders to simple young Notre Dame students. He is not remembered merely for being the president of Notre Dame for decades, but instead for being a man of love that bettered the lives of so many around him. When I pass away, I too want to be remembered for how I affected the lives of others. Ideally, I would use my future career to benefit others, like Father Hesburgh, and use it as a platform to express love and care for others. In week three, I read an article about being reminded daily of imminent death. The article sounded morbid at first, but I later realized that the controversial practice could have clear benefits regarding appreciating life: “The concept is to intentionally think about your own death every day, as a means of appreciating the present and focusing on the future” (Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you will die” by Ruth Graham, New York Times - Moreau FYE Week Three). I think there is value in being reminded that life is temporary, because it helps remind people to reevaluate their lives and to make sure they are joyful and content with what they have done and the trajectory they are on. I believe the practice would enable me to live my most well lived life, since I would not be focused on temporary issues or pleasures, but instead be focused on long term happiness and joy. The areas of less importance in my life could be recognized and set aside, leaving room for areas of greater importance–such as family and relationships. Now is a time in my life that is extremely focused on career discernment and being future oriented, as proven by week four discussion, but often this acts as a distraction that takes away focus from my relationships. I have noticed myself pushing phone calls and communication with friends and family off to the side, so I can maximize my time to work and prepare for what is to come in future weeks. Although it is good to be focused on school, I must remind myself that time is limited and at the end of my life those relationships I am pushing aside will be the most important aspect of my life–what defines me, what brings me joy, the people I want to be by my side in the end. In week seven, I watched a video focused on the words of Pope Francis, who said “People’s paths are riddled with suffering as everything is centered around money, and things, instead of people” (“His Holiness Pope Francis: Why the only future worth building includes https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript everyone | TED Talk” by TED Conferences - Moreau FYE Week Seven). I completely agree with his statement, because it is easy to be led astray by temporal desires and leave others behind when it happens. Money cannot be brought with us to the grave, the one thing it can provide after death is security for other people important to us, including specific foundations, friends, and family. If I let my relationships suffer while on the path to gain money and workplace success there will be no ultimate purpose for the money in the first place. It could bring me short term happiness during the course of my life, but when I am on my deathbed there will be no happiness money can provide me. Like Pope Francis said, I believe suffering can be diminished when one refocuses their life and goals to be related to relationships rather than on temporal goods. All in all, when I think about my eulogy I think about the impact I have made on those around me, specifically my loved ones. I hope to be defined by my relationships with others, remembered as a joyful and caring person, and to be surrounded by all the people whose lives I have touched. https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript