Integration One


I believe that I pursue truth by always trying to be my most authentic self. I speak how I feel and

I try to make sure people understand how I feel because keeping my feelings inside is not going

to help anything. If I want to connect with someone, it is important to not just say the words that

that person wants to hear. If they do not appreciate who my true authentic self is, then they

probably do not deserve a place in my life. Brene Brown stated that  “When you ask people

about love, they tell you about heartbreak. When you ask people about belonging, they’ll tell you

their most excruciating experiences of being excluded. And when you ask people about

connection, the stories they told me were about disconnection” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by

Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). People need to appreciate the good things in life and be

honest about them, which can help us all become more of our authentic selves. When you ask

someone about something good, such as love, people often respond with stories of all the bad

they have experienced. I believe in order for us to connect on a deeper level, there needs to be

more of the good stories shared along with the bad ones. We need to share who our true authentic

self is. David Brooks had a similar argument about appreciating oneself when he said “and most

of us including me would say that the eulogy versions are more important than the virtues. But,

at least in my case, are they the ones that I think about the most and the answer is no” (“Should

You Live for Your Resume or Your Eulogy” by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two). I believe

that my purpose is to be the best person I can be in this life. That includes being the best friend,

coworker, husband, father, or whatever role I may find myself in. It is more important to me that I

achieve the eulogy values that people that know me recognize because it means that I have

done a good job in life. I believe that I am searching for my purpose in life. I am still too young to

know what life has in store for me in the future, but I hope it involves a wife and a family.

However, I want to remain open to whatever life throws at me and accept what my purpose in

life becomes. College is the perfect time to figure out what is going on in my life because I finally

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be


have the freedom that comes with college as well as the responsibility that comes with

adulthood. Father Pete talks about this change by stating “When I was riding with my parents, all

roads led to home. When I was driving by myself, everything felt a little unclear” (“The Role of

Faith in Our Story” by Fr. Pete McCormick, Moreau FYE Week Three). My parents have been

there through even struggle and every victory in my life so far. They have been right at my side

giving encouragement and offering advice when needed to push me along to develop into the

person I am today. However, now that I am in college, I need to figure these things out for myself

and I am looking forward to the challenges that await me. I believe that I forge life-giving

relationships by trying to meet people who genuinely care about me and enjoy being with me.  It

is important to surround oneself with caring people as that is what helps shape people. Therefore,

in order to grow into the person, I want to be, I need to surround myself with good role models

and friends that can help develop me into a better person. Olivia Taylor discusses healthy

relationships in her article by stating “If you’re dealing with a friend who’s constantly bailing on

you, stop making plans with them and wait for them to make plans with you. If you end up going

months without them reaching out to make plans (that they stick to), it’s probably a friendship

you don’t want to prioritize anyway” (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia T.

Taylor, Moreau FYE Week 4). If someone cannot take the time to make plans and hang out with

me, especially when they have the time and already commit to it, I have learned that those people

are not always worth keeping around. I want to surround myself with people that care about me

and enjoy being with me so those types of toxic friendships have no spot in my life. I believe that

I am made to use my God-given skills to help better the world in whatever way I can. Our

founder here at Notre Dame and Holy Cross “founded Holy Cross to remind the world that the

best of what you and I were created to be is made manifest when every capacity of our intellects



and calls of our hearts are both augmented by faith and reason when they’re all engaged” (“Two

Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education” by Father Kevin Grove, Moreau FYE Week 5). We

are all called to use every bit of intellect we have to help progress the world and support others in

whatever way we can. In Moreau Week 6, I referenced all the components of my home life that

forged me into the person I am today. I believe that my community should help create who I am,

which is why I am so grateful to have grown up in a safe and caring neighborhood. I believe that

I grow by learning to accept people of all kinds no matter what. The Scientific American

discussed this topic by saying “That doesn’t make you a racist, sexist or whatever-ist. It just

means your brain is working properly, noticing patterns and making generalizations” (How to

Think About ‘Implicit Bias’” by Scientific American, Moreau FYE Week 7). Stereotyping is a

dangerous thing in today’s society as it has become so much more prevalent. However, it is not

our fault that our brains tell us to stereotype because it is only natural. It is our fault, however, if

we let that feeling impact the way we really feel about someone or even a group of people. I

believe that I can grow by learning to quiet that stereotyping voice in my head and be open to

everyone’s opinion.