Integration #3 Crossroads Lisa was many things so putting her in a box is impossible. The kind of spirit she held, in a small body, was too much to even describe. She had many stories to tell for her life was a sort of book that compiled anecdotes of both her life and others. I know this is supposed to be a eulogy, in other words I should speak of her whole life, but I think a picture can say a thousand words; and as her dear friend of four years, I wish to share a perspective from her freshman spring year- which still stands as one of the years she spent at crossroads in life. A year that technically affected her whole life and perception of it. The spring semester was completely the opposite of her previous fall semester. To start off, she had switched her major. Not even to a major within the same college that she came in, but to a whole different major in a whole nother college, and that was at first, a scare. Why some may ask. Well, due to many things. To start off with, she was overly stressed during her fall semester, as a freshman, which I told her off the bat that it was a no-no. At that point in time, she didn't realize that the stress was supposed to be delayed for sophomore and junior year- she didn't get that luxury, because along with juggling a new point in my life, she had to juggle new subjects as well. Bio, calc, and chem all in one. As a mendoza kid, I couldn’t relate. But as someone who hates math- not because I’m mad at it- but more so because it's awful, I understood why Lisa dreaded calc. But the ignorance of the first summer before college got to her. She did a few calc ``practices” over the summer and thought she was okay! Spoiler alert, she was not. Never took calc in high school, nor anything relating to calc but was thrown into a classroom filled with people who were either really big experts or in the same boat as her -expect they at least took pre-calc and therefore had a bigger paddle to go further than she did. Office hours were fine, but when she also had to study for chem, and bio, classes that also incorporated some math elements at points, she was stuck. I remember most days she would look dry, tired, and sad. That was not how I wanted to see her be. She was certain that she wanted to be a doctor but was she willing to put her happiness on the line, especially for a path that did not highlight her true abilities and talents? Lisa had begun asking these questions as winter break drew nearer; She was at a crossroad. “It's the rest in a piece of music that gives it renaissance and shape”. (“Why we need to slow down our lives | (ted.com)” by Pico Iyer, TED - Moreau FYE Week One). We usually are caught up in the music to get a real feel of its message, beats, or even technicality. It is not until the ‘rest’ parts in a musical piece or the instrumentals in a song come that we can fully appreciate, comprehend, and connect with the music we have heard. In connection to one’s life, it is only by stepping further back and standing still that we can begin to see what our life really means, and what it holds. Or in some cases, it doesn't. Stopping, and standing still to observe the world around us can either enlighten us to stay or break away from what we know. But regardless of what it does, looking is beneficial. At that moment a part of her, the part that was still unwilling to let go of what she knew, told herself what she was doing, that her leaving was crazy. “Your sister is doing it, she's pushing through” “Your brother is going to do it too, in fact, he’s taking classes right now in high school to prepare”, “your parents will be disappointed” “your friends will be disappointed, you’re a quitter”. Thoughts such as these swam endlessly like fishes through her head- or at least these were the thoughts she was willing to communicate with me. She wanted to leave but couldn't at https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ the same time. She was the first in my family to walk along a path that did not involve medicine, and I could only imagine how scary that was to stray from a familiar path into an unknown one. But Lisa was a courageous soul. Like Father Hesburgh who “ did a lot of things that people would have thought as not particularly priestly”. (“Hesburgh Film (panopto.com)'' Produced by Jerry Barca and Christine O'Malley- Moreau FYE Week Two). She realized that at times one needs to push the barrier of whatever you're in, to make a change. In his time, what Father Hesburgh was doing was considered crazy and extremely out of the ordinary; but knowing what he wanted for the future of Notre Dame, Father Hesburgh was willing to be labeled behind these names as long as his actions could speak louder and more than those of everybody else’s words. This is something she strove to be on her new path as a poli sci and English major. She hoped that in this spring semester she could shut down and prove those opposing thoughts wrong. “This semester was going to be great, wayyyyy better than the last one!” She declared after shocking me with that information. Remembering death [repeatedly] was a hard concept to get behind especially because it seems simply pessimistic in ideology. (“Meet the Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die - The New York Times (nytimes.com)” by Ruth Graham, NY Times- Moreau FYE Week Three) but doing the activity of remembering death for a week, especially during the major switch, incited several other questions that Lisa always heard yet never confronted. From what brings her joy to what she wanted to do, these questions continued to jump around in her mind once again. One thing thought that Lisa discovered about herself through the week 3 reading was her tendency to overlap the meaning of happiness with joy. Weirdly this made her come to a https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html comforting conclusion that the path she would possibly switch to also would contribute to society as much as her previous intended path would. She liked writing and she was pretty good at it, but I also knew that she wanted a job that could lead her to the life of luxury she desired. When seeking another major for the spring semester outside of Biology, she put an unnatural emphasis on her life and what the major could do for her. I witnessed her unknowingly falling back into that damaging mentality that she came into the fall semester with. She eventually decided to step out of that box and explore instead, with classes that she would enjoy such as Creative Writing and English. “So far, so good” she would say. “minus the workload”. Listening to our lesson for (“Navigating Your Career Journey - Moreau First Year Experience Course | Undergraduate Career Services | University of Notre Dame)” by Meruelo Family Center for Career Development- Moreau FYE Week Four), the speaker’s advice to“ relax and put aside the thought that you are deciding your career path when picking your major. It’s much more complex than that...but also much more exciting” and to “Study What You Enjoy and Get Involved” really stuck to her. Overall, the spring semester of Freshman year brought about greater insight ( an intuitive understanding of ourselves ) for Lisa to enjoy stronger relationships, and have a clearer sense of purpose. She was much happier during the spring semester in spite of the workload and copious readings because she learnt to accept these things as a path she was meant to walk on. (“The right way to be introspective (yes, there’s a wrong way) | (ted.com)” by Tasha Eurich, TED Conferences- Moreau FYE Week Six). In a way, she grew mentally, spiritually, and significantly in her comfortability of who she was. https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ This spring semester also brought about acknowledgments. One hard thing Lisa had to hear was to branch out because although she talked to a lot of people, she didn’t surround herself with enough diversity (“Discernment Conversation Activity''- Moreau FYE Week Five); “...because life flows through our relations with others…” She made the spring semester a semester to branch out even more, with clubs and events. (“His Holiness Pope Francis: Why the only future worth building includes everyone | TED Talk” by His Holiness Pope Francis, TED Conferences- Moreau FYE Week Seven). “I want to interact and get involved with diverse groups of people” she would often tell me before dashing off to another event. Heck! She even made me want to join her. So, Lisa’s spring semester - although still posed as a new age in which she still had to maneuver through and find her groove - made her spectacular . What she wanted to do with her life became somewhat complicated when she switched majors, but still having a clear picture of what she wanted her life to look like in the future made her go out and get it. She died a successful lawyer, business woman, family woman, rich, and most importantly happy. Looking at Lisa’s story, I still question here and there whether I am on the right track, but then remember to just go with the flow because we never know what the future holds. She was inspiring, is inspiring, and will forever be inspiring regardless of whether she is here physically or spiritually! https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript