Integration Three- CVB From Freshman Caroline to Freshman Caroline: Insights of a Life Well-Lived Dear freshman year of high school Caroline, Hey! It’s me, other freshman Caroline (freshman year of college Caroline, that is.) Yes, spoiler alert, you do get into college, so don’t worry too much about that (I know you’ll worry a lot about getting into college and getting into a “good” college no matter what I tell you, but I am going to tell you anyway.) There is so much more to a life well-lived than where you will end up for the next four years after high school. Yes, where you will spend those four years matters (especially because you are going to be spending them somewhere incredible!) but the four years you have right now in high school are so much more than just preparatory years for the next chapter of your life- they are the current chapter of your life, which I know can be difficult to keep in mind. I’ve learned a lot about what a life well-lived means over the past couple of years, but especially in the past couple of months. Hopefully, I can impart some of this advice to you so that you can live out your current chapter of life to the fullest. First, let me give you some advice about work/life balance. I know you study hard and study a lot. Sometimes, I think you might study too much. Yes, studying is important, but there is simply no way that sitting at your desk for five hours is entirely productive. Keep this in mind: the more time you spend away from your work, the better that work will be, most often.1 You will be so much more productive if you give yourself breaks and allow yourself to rest. I know it isn’t easy to let yourself rest, but PLEASE, I beg of you: incorporate some time for stillness into your everyday life. You will feel so much more at peace with yourself and the world around you if you give yourself just a few minutes before bed to sit, breathe, and pray. Also, try to get 1 “Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer, Week 1 https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ outside. In college, some of the best minutes of your day will be walking or running outside before a long day of classes. Second, I want you to know that the most powerful way to enrich your life is not through achieving a certain status, having a certain GPA, or getting a certain time in a race, but rather through the relationships you have and your commitment to making the world a better place. About a month ago, I watched a movie about Father Ted Hesburgh (this might be a college spoiler alert, apologies in advance!) and learned a lot from the film about putting relationships at the core of what you do. One story that stuck with me was when Father Hesburgh was given an emerald ring by the Pope, and the ring simply sat in his desk collecting dust.2 I think this is a great reminder of what truly matters in life: the people with whom you live your life, not material things or accolades. And yes, it is great to have goals because those are definitely a part of enriching your life, but ultimately, the foundation of what you do needs to be rooted in a love for the people around you.3 Well, here comes another spoiler. I really don’t know how to explain the whole situation of March 2020 to you, but I’ll try to give you the gist. Basically, there’s a global pandemic that causes school to be canceled for a month, you can’t leave your house for a few months, and you can’t swim, play tennis, see your friends, or safely wander the aisles of Trader Joe’s (another spoiler: the college you will attend has a nearby Trader Joe’s so you can continue to wander aimlessly through that magical store! This is most definitely part of a well-lived life, so keep it up). During this time of lockdown and quarantine, you will truly learn how the people around you are the foundation of your purpose and meaning. March through May of 2020 will be the longest time of your life where you haven’t swam, and you will learn that yes, you do miss 3 “Why the only future worth building includes everyone” by His Holiness Pope Francis, Week 7 2 “Hesburgh”, Week 2 https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 swimming, but you miss your coaches and teammates a lot too. You will grow closer to your family, especially to your brother, and realize just how incredible they are. You’ll also grow closer to God, and find the incredible and powerful truth that “in facing the darkest realities of life that we find light in them.”4 In short, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to nurture your relationships and let the people around you know that you love them, especially your family. In college, you will live just down the hall from people who will become some of your best friends. It’s just like one long sleepover party, except it’s really expensive and you have to study a lot. I know that connecting with other kids in high school might be tricky, but I want you to know that it gets better in college. There are some awesome people out there, and you will find them eventually in South Bend, Indiana (whoops, another spoiler). My next piece of advice for a well-lived life is to try new things and challenge yourself. I know that you are terrified of anything less than perfection, so this one might be hard for you, but just try your best. Remember that “the only way to know more about yourself is to test the waters- just get out and experience life.”5 I give you full permission to try lots of different hobbies, clubs, foods, sports, board games, whatever! Another quick spoiler: you will sign up for a half marathon your first year of college, and I know that as a freshman in high school you HATE running. So, the advice here is to not box yourself in: allow yourself to experience life in new ways and embrace new challenges. Here’s another one: I challenge you to silence the voice of self-doubt in your mind; the one telling you that you’ll never be creative enough, smart enough, or confident enough.6 Because you ARE so capable! When you have a plan, you can confront any challenge that comes your way. In college, you will learn that Google calendar, a planner, and a positive mindset will allow you to break down challenges into more manageable 6 Phone call with Debbie and Marc Van Bell, Week 5 5 “Navigating your career journey” by Meruelo Family Center for Career Development, Week 4 4 “Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you will die” by Ruth Graham, Week 3 https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html tasks, so you can study and work but still have time to spend with your friends and family. Challenges are indeed manageable and are definitely a part of a well-lived life. My last piece of advice for a life well-lived is remembering to put your faith at the center of everything you do. I know that you might not feel particularly connected to God right now, but throughout high school, and especially as you transition into college, you will realize that without faith, nothing seems right. It truly is the core of everything in your life. Your life is so much bigger than just you, and you can surrender your control, perfectionism, and anxieties to God. In college, you will incorporate daily reflection and prayer so that you can come to truly know yourself by knowing God.7 In closing, I want you to remember that a life well-lived is not a “perfect” life; rather, it is an imperfect life where you accept messiness, accept challenges, and find snippets of joy everywhere you go. Lots of love to you, Caroline. I hope these next four years are well lived! ~Caroline, March 2022 7 “Ways to Practice Mindfulness” by McWell, Week 6 https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SEXhurkurERNVdy8sgNwZaAKTAr-385q/view