Integration Three Dot Crumlish Alison Thigpen Moreau First-Year Experience 4 March 2022 A Eulogy For the Living “Suffering and death are facts of life; focusing only on the “bright and shiny” is superficial and inauthentic” (‘Meet the Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die’ by Ruth Graham- Moreau First Year Experience Week 3). These are the words of Sister Aletheia. Whenever something was going arye, Dot would always remind others of a similar sentiment, and I think in these sad times it is important for us to remember the same thing. A lot of times people try to hide from the bad or darker parts of life, however inevitable they might be, and only show the “bright and shiny” parts. So, although it is hard, let us not try to ignore the fact that Dot is no longer with us, but rather embrace it, and look back on her life well lived. From a young age, Dot always loved learning how things worked and designing new things, and always wanted to be an inventor. This meant that a lot of people expected her to become an architect when she grew up, but as we all know now, she did not. While she always felt a pressure to become an architect, she instead became an engineer. Her life shows us all that “There is no ‘best major’ out there - but there is a ‘best major for you’” (Navigating your Career Journey by ND - Moreau First Year Experience Week 4). If she had not decided to do what she wanted rather than what others expected her to do, she would not have flourished to the same extent in the world, and brought her talents to life in the same way as she did. Just look around us at all the things she designed! https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ People would always ask her how she got everything done while still having free time to spend time with others. A lot of us think to ourselves, “If I take time off, I somehow believe, I’ll be that much more hurried the rest of the time” (‘Why We Need to Slow Down Our Lives’ by Pico Iyer - Moreau First Year Experience Week 1). When there’s a lot on our plates, I know I am unsure about how I’m going to get it all done, and then I just become more anxious because I don’t feel I even have the time to sit down and plan it out. Dot would always tell me to sit down and take a break, and she was always right. It always helps me upon my return to the work because I have fresh eyes and can think more clearly. I think Dot did this a lot, and is one of the reasons why she was not just successful in life careerwise, but also emotionally and in her relationships. She always seemed to have a new hobby hoing on, from crochet to origami to baking to playing a new instrument. While from the outside it seemed she was always going in every direction with her activities and pursuits, she was always headed forward with a singular value at her core: to bring joy to others, and make the world a better place for them. “Whatever you value, be committed to it and let nothing distract you from this goal. The uncommitted life, like Plato’s unexamined life, is not worth living” (Father Hesburg Movie - Moreau First Year Experience Week 2). Ever since her freshman year of college in her Moreau Class, she always admired Father Ted and this quote in particular. Father Ted lived this idea out, doing everything from assisting in the Civil Rights movement to managing the University, and he always stuck to his values even when people were angry at him. Dot always tried to do the same, even when others made it hard, she always strove to do what she felt was right and would help others. Anyone who interacted with Dot knows she did her best to do this. There were many things in the world that she cared very deeply about and wanted to change, especially the Earth https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 and stopping climate change. She did not care about it just for herself but wanted the Earth to be around for future generations. It made her sad how poorly humans have taken care of it. Rather than standing around and doing nothing, waiting for things to change, she took action into her own hands, as we can all see through her inventions, which completely changed the world of sustainability (Conversation - Moreau First Year Experience Week 5). Although Dot responding to texts always seemed to be a rarity, it was never because she did not care, it was always because she cared too much. She loved interacting with people in person, seeing and hearing their authentic reactions and emotions. A very introverted person, she always strove to form meaningful relationships with others, not just the superficial ones many of us see on a daily basis. She never wanted to fall into the ‘culture of waste’ that Pope Francis once discussed in a TedTalk, “which doesn't concern only food and goods but, first and foremost, the people who are cast aside by our techno-economic systems which, without even realizing it, are now putting products at their core, instead of people” (Pope Francis TED Talk - Moreau First Year Experience Week 7). You would rarely see her walking around with headphones in, or looking at her phone. She wanted to embrace all she could in the world, everyone around her. Next time we are walking around with headphones in, let’s take them out. We are all guilty of trying to make connections through our phones, we fail to see the opportunities for making others feel welcome and not alone in the real world. Overall, Dot was never an avoider. However difficult, she learned through her life to not ignore her feelings. She was one of the most self-aware people I knew. She wanted to be her truest self possible, and “Asking what could keep us open to discovering new information about ourselves, even if that information is negative or in conflict with our existing beliefs” (‘The https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sA0EAHnmP2eu9EH-8LQHmI04X6kBwTgwR31Ru6R6KVU/edit?usp=sharing https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ Right Way to Be Introspective’ by Tasha Eurich - Moreau First Year Experience Week 6). A really important distinction for us all that I know I had never thought of before. Dot lived a life like no other, and I think we can all agree that it was a life well-lived. I would like to finish with an excerpt from John Green’s The Anthropocene Reviewed. Not only was this Dot’s favorite piece of writing, but she also returned to it time and time again when life posed a challenge, and I think its message is one that she truly took to heart, and we all can, too: “At the end of his life, the great picture book author and illustrator Maurice Sendak said on the NPR show Fresh Air, ‘I cry a lot because I miss people. I cry a lot because they die, and I can’t stop them. They leave me, and I love them more.’ He said, ‘I’m finding out as I’m aging that I’m in love with the world.’ It has taken me all my life up to now to fall in love with the world, but I’ve started to feel it the last couple of years. To fall in love with the world isn’t to ignore or overlook suffering, both human and otherwise. For me anyway, to fall in love with the world is to look up at the night sky and feel your mind swim before the beauty and the distance of the stars. It is to hold your children while they cry, to watch as the sycamore trees leaf out in June. When my breastbone starts to hurt, and my throat tightens, and tears well in my eyes, I want to look away from feeling. I want to deflect with irony, or anything else that will keep me from feeling directly. We all know how loving ends. But I want to fall in love with the world anyway, to let it crack me open. I want to feel what there is to feel while I am here. Sendak ended that interview with the last words he ever said in public: ‘Live your life. Live your life. Live your life.’ Here is my attempt to do so.” https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/