Integration 3 A Life Well Lived Connor was, and forever will be, a man who dedicated his life to his passions and ideas. Although stubborn at times, he truly was persistent with his passions, refusing to give up at even the most stressful moments. His mother used to say that he was “driven and closely valued his friendships,” (Jennifer McCloskey - Moreau FYE Week 5). He was hardworking, yet friendly, and enjoyed the company of others no matter how busy he might have been. In the end, his life leaves behind three major messages that we should all take into consideration for our own lives: advice on the self, advice on connections, and advice on a life lived to the fullest. Advice on the Self A quote from Father Theodore Hesburgh that Connor quite liked was, “I decided if I was going to be President, I was going to shake things up,” (“Hesburgh” by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley - Moreau FYE Week 2). Connor, as we all know, was a Notre Dame graduate (and he won’t let us forget it). He particularly liked this quote because he believed importance was something that was self-made. He admired Hesburgh’s drive, and oriented his pursuits after ones that also would make him more important. We should not be afraid to act instead of sit in the shadows, hoping for someone else to come along. Although we might never be as well-known as Father Hesburgh, we can still try. Another quote Connor liked was from Pico Iyer, who said “I continue to keep the cornucopia of technology at arm’s length…so that I can more easily remember who I am,” (“Why We Need to Slow Down Our Lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week 1). Connor definitely had mixed feelings about social media, and his actions show this well. Although he ensured that he could keep up with all of us, his friends and family, he would also use social https://docs.google.com/document/d/1c5dqrvSGixWk_bRH5pKVu2NI70aOTn1toss6Hkv3Vec/edit https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ media much less than the average person. He never tried to attach himself or his personality to social media, and this paid off to make him become a genuine man. He also believed that absorbing social media instead of spending time with family and friends is no way to go through life, and it is definitely not a way to find oneself. Connor always believed that self discovery comes from real experiences, which is where his friendliness stemmed from. He not only talked to others to learn about other perspectives, but he also talked to discover himself more fully. Finally, self-reflection was something Connor held near and dear to himself. He was constantly evaluating his own pursuits and actions in order to ensure that he was never going down the wrong track. He did this in a healthy way, one that he learned from his freshman year at university: “Why questions stir up negative emotions; what questions keep us curious,” (“The right way to be introspective” by Tasha Eurich - Moreau FYE Week 6). Whenever Connor would have a negative happen to him, he would start with these 3 questions: what happened, what did I do for this outcome, and what can I do to fix it. He would never trouble himself further with why is this happening or why do I deserve this, because he understands that bad things happen, and discovering their origin is the best way to solve personal problems and to have a more positive relationship with the self. Advice on Connections Connor was, as mentioned earlier, incredibly friendly. He was especially keen on meeting others who seemed down in the moment, and found great pleasure in cheering them up. As a child, Connor was incredibly shy, and as he got older he lost the shyness which led to him wanting to help others lose it too. https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ In addition to shy people, Connor loved meeting new people with different perspectives than him. A quote he liked to use was, “Bridging the gulf of moral judgment and replacing it with kinship is tricky indeed,” (“Tattoos on the Heart” by Father Greg Boyle - Moreau FYE Week 7). He liked this quote because it preached on overcoming those inner judgements we make when we meet someone (and we all do) and trying to create kinship with everyone. People from all walks of life have the possibility of becoming a close friend to you, and you can never know until you try it out. With 8 billion people in the world, who’s to say that your small circle is all you need? Additionally, by putting judgements aside and seeing people for who they truly are, we cease to continue the viscous cycles of sexism, racism, and other discriminatory practices. Every human being matters, and they are all inherently good in Connor’s eyes. Advice on a Life lived to the Fullest Finally, Connor was a firm believer in living life without self-restriction. If he saw an opportunity, he would take it without second thought and then try it out to see if he truly enjoyed it, instead of leaving it up to the imagination. If asked about whether something was “worth it” or if someone should go out for something, he would say, “Just get out and experience life!” (“Navigating your career journey” by Merulo Family Center for Career Development - Moreau FYE Week 4). He believed in experience over everything, and saw gut instincts as inhibition. “So what if you don’t like it, at least you tried,” is something he frequently said to his peers. Food, activities, hairstyles, clothes: Connor tried anything he was mildly interested in just for the experience of doing it. One important quote to him was “memento mori” as it reminds us that although death is on the horizon, the journey ahead is long - we need to make the most of our time on this earth before it passes us by (“Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/38593/files/524001?module_item_id=168039 https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html will die” by the New York Times - Moreau FYE Week 3). A strong position that Connor took on wasting time on missed opportunity is this: We’re only killing time until time kills us Slightly morbid, but frank: we must ensure that our time on this earth is not wasteful. Do not miss opportunities; this is the message that Connor would have wanted passed on after his death. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html