Integration II Patrick McKenzie Moreau First Year Experience Integration Two 12/3/21 Dropping Expectations to Pick Up Yourself I have encountered many diverse people, experiences, and beliefs. I have encountered new friends, hobbies, and opportunities. The most important questions I have asked myself this year are: Who do I want to be? How do I become that person? How do I balance school and social life? And finally, what do I truly want to get out of my four years at Notre Dame? The answer to the first question is still meddling in my mind, but I have a general idea. I want to inspire, to elevate, to be a force for good in the world. The more challenging question is how. How do I positively impact others so they will continue to pass the positive energy? How do I let myself be vulnerable to be the person I want to be? Julia Hogan explains that with students, “None of them tell me that they believe they are living a fulfilling life when they let their self-worth be defined by these external expectations” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week Nine). I feel under the same pressure and external expectations. I have two people I feel like I need to become. One that is the stereotypical college student and enjoys going out, partying, being free from any parental restrictions without any responsibility. I feel great imposter syndrome because I don’t feel like I belong if I do not participate in the “fun” activities (“What is Imposter Syndrome?” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine). The other one is my vision for myself. The person who I want to be. I don’t find joy or fun in ways that many others do. When I let go of my expectations, I can live a personally fulfilling life without letting outside pressures dictate my self-worth and personal https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo dignity. There are consequences from living a personally fulfilling life, one being I have a lot of “orbiting friends” ("Advice from a Formerly Lonely College Student “ by Emery Bergmann - Moreau FYE Week Nine). I try my best to balance personal expectations along with knowing I won’t be perfect but I know I must try my best. I know many of my “orbiting” friends’ values do not align with mine and I believe that is okay. Fr. Jenkins said, “At a time of expanding diversity of people and moral opinions — when we need more skill and wisdom in engaging those with other views — we seem to be less skillful, less wise” (“Wesley Theological Seminary 2021 Commencement Address” by Fr. John Jenkins - Moreau FYE Week Ten) to emphasize the need for humanity to recognize personal values might not always align, but that does not mean conflict must ensue. Similar to the women who found healing through the Kintsugi Workshop (“Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop” by Grotto - Moreau FYE Week Ten), I have encountered healing through rebuilding myself after I feel broken. The sense of healing can only be found once you acknowledge what has happened and reflect upon yourself. To reflect, one must take into consideration all sides of the issue whether you agree with them or not. By bridging this gap, you are becoming more empathetic and able to converse with a diverse group of people with diverse values. The conversation about Critical Race Theory (“Should Catholic Schools Teach Critical Race Theory?” by Christopher Devron - Moreau FYE Week Ten) has good intentions on both sides. There are truths on both sides. I have encountered teachers who avoided taking public sides by stating “I don’t teach Critical Race Theory” but rather “I teach history” to avoid controversy. This is the way everyone answers questions these days because no one wants to offend/disagree with anyone's perspective. After all, we cannot have informed, educated conversations without https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html http://du/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/ https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2021/06/03/critical-race-theory-catholic-high-schools-black-lives-matter-240792 https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2021/06/03/critical-race-theory-catholic-high-schools-black-lives-matter-240792 conflict. I used to think there was clarity that educated individuals can have a conversation without conflict as a result, but that is not the case. No one wants to have tough conversations. On the other hand, I have encountered a welcoming community at both Notre Dame and Holy Cross. I enjoy the small, tight-knit community of Holy Cross while simultaneously enjoying the energetic atmosphere of Notre Dame. Parker Palmer explains, “Community is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker Palmer - Moreau FYE Week Eleven) to explain the true meaning of community. One should not be looking to achieve community, but to receive the gift of a welcoming, respectful, and caring community. One does not set out to build a community, but rather to embrace the sense of community that is offered. To receive the gift of community, one must be internally vulnerable to accept everyone and must be willing to make themselves vulnerable to be accepted. I have encountered a gift of two spectacular and amazing communities that I have opened my heart to embrace. The diversity of both communities enables many voices, backgrounds, values, and points of view to take shape. Professor Agustin Fuentes’s video (“Diversity Matters” by Prof. Agustin Fuentes - Moreau FYE Week Eleven) emphasizes the need for awareness of implicit bias in a community. Within the Notre Dame community, I have encountered the Klau Center Archive on Race which records Notre Dame community members' experiences with implicit bias (“With Voices True Snapchat Summary” by Klau Center Archives on Race - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). So far, through my Notre Dame experience, I have encountered a community that will embrace me as long as I embrace the community. I have encountered ways to grow in hope as a progress through the years. I hope to become a more complete person. Blessed Basil Moreau wrote “[Education] is the art of helping young people to completeness” (“Hope- Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Fr. James King http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=d14a0472-9c0e-44ea-bd39-53c67ee1d436 https://voicestrue.nd.edu/ https://voicestrue.nd.edu/ https://campusministry.nd.edu/assets/105621/ - Moreau FYE Week Twelve) to decipher the true meaning of education. Education will transform pupils into more complete people. Basil Moreau continued his philosophy by stating, “the mind will not be cultivated at the expense of the heart” to set the foundation that the heart must come first. A pupil must commit themselves first with their heart, and then their mind will follow. I have encountered a difficult time distinguishing the difference between “belief” and “hope”. I understand “hope” is more of a passive action while “belief” is more active and controllable. In the “Screwtape Letters”, Screwtape letter, it is stated that, “you have great hopes that the patient’s religious phase is dying away?” (“The Screwtape Letters: Chapter 8” by C.S. Lewis - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). However, “great hope” does not mean it is certain. C.S. Lewis reminds us, “Readers are advised to remember that the devil is a liar. Not everything Screwtape says should be assumed to be true even from his angle” (“A Brief Introduction to The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis - Moreau FYE Week Twelve) to question the statement of the Devil itself, therefore there is still hope that the apparent victim still has their religious phase. At Notre Dame, I have encountered a hope to be a better version of myself and the belief that it can be accomplished. https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28317/files/189595?wrap=1 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28317/files/189478?wrap=1 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28317/files/189478?wrap=1