Integration one Anna VanAvermaete Professor Theo Helm Moreau FYS 10101 13 October 2021 A Guide to a Better Self I believe that I am searching for freedom of expression. For my whole life, I’ve always bottled up my feelings. That is to say, not my feelings of happiness- those are easy to show. The feelings that are hard to show are the feelings of sadness and weakness. My fear of showing feelings stems from me not wanting other people to judge me because I care so much about what others think. During the first week of Moreau, the topic was vulnerability. I remember how everyone was sharing experiences, and I couldn’t believe how comfortable they were with saying the things they were. I shared something that day that made me seem weak, and I still think about it some days, as it haunts me. In Moreau, I really keep to myself. In a TED talk by Brené Brown, she says, “There was only one variable that separated the people who had a strong sense of love and belonging, and really struggle for it: that was the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging, believe that they are worthy of love and belonging,’” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). Last Moreau class, when we were assigned groups, I talked a lot with my group members. I never talk to people in class because I feel like they won’t want to talk to me. This mindset really tears me down. In order to find the freedom of expression that I desire, I need to believe in myself: believe that I am worthy of love and belonging. I believe that I belong at Notre Dame. My entire life has revolved around academics. Doing well in school is what made me feel good about myself. When I took my first chemistry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaITh2s1WbM-Kd0&index=2 test this year, I knew I did badly but when I checked my grade I was taken aback when I saw 69% staring back at me. A lot of people here at Notre Dame talk about imposter syndrome, and it has hit me hard this first semester, to say the least. In his TED talk, David Brooks says, “And most of us, including me, would say that the eulogy virtues are the most important of the virtues. But at least in my case are they the ones I think about the most? And the answer is no,” (“Should you live for your résumé ... or your eulogy?” by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two). It’s important to realize that God put me here for a reason, and he didn’t make a mistake. He knows I can handle the rigor of the academics here. Not only that, but Notre Dame isn’t only about academics. I’m here at Notre Dame to grow in my faith and not just live for my résumé but also for my eulogy, because at the end of the day, being a good person is that much more important. Being at Notre Dame is also about growing my faith. After just my first week here, I felt so much more connected to God. Never in my life have I just been sitting around and thought, “I’m gonna go pray,” but during the first couple weeks, I took multiple trips to the grotto. During our week three of Moreau, I learned that “at the core of oneself is the very presence of God,” (“The Role of Faith in Our Story” by Fr. Pete McCormick - Moreau FYE Week Three). Quite often, I leave God out of my personal life but I’m looking to include him. In order to do so, I must put effort into my faith, something that I’ve not done as much in the past. I believe that who we surround ourselves with should bring out the best versions of ourselves. One of my goals this semester was to join some type of all girls engineering club. The club I joined is called Society of Women Engineers and in the club, we were assigned bigs, and my big was telling me all the classes that would be good for me to take: just looking out for my best interests. In week four of Moreau, one of the readings said, “Friendships should make you feel positive and like you’re investing in something long-term,” (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM&ab_channel=TED https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM&ab_channel=TED https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=UniversityofNotreDameCampusMinistry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=UniversityofNotreDameCampusMinistry https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ Friendship” by Olivia T. Taylor - Moreau FYE Week Four). Before I came to Notre Dame, I was in a relationship that my mom had to beg me to get out of. After coming to Notre Dame, I see why. The people I’ve met on this campus are some of the most genuine, kind hearted people. I should never have friendships that make me feel like I’m any less than I really am because that tears me down. Friends are meant to lift you up and be a support system for you. I believe that I am shaped by my experiences. During a meeting with my advisor, she told me not to get the dual MBA/engineering degree. She said it would be too much work and that it puts a lot of stress on the student. Instead, she told me to get a minor in business. This motivated me to work even harder and set my mind on getting my MBA and undergrad in five years. During the 176th commencement, Carla Harris told the graduates, “View every setback and disappointment as a lesson,” (“Notre Dame Commencement 2021: Laetare Medalist Address” by Carla Harris - FYE Moreau Week Five). It’s easy to go through something and let it tear you down. Instead of letting setbacks stay in the back of my mind for weeks, I need to think about how I can use the setbacks to push myself forward. Moreover, during week six of Moreau, we focused on what has formed us. For our assignment, we wrote about where we’re from. A lot of people talked about how they were from corn in their poems, including me. In the example “Where I’m From” poem, George Ella Lyon writes, “[I’m from] fried corn and strong coffee,” (“Where I’m From” by George Ella Lyon - FYE Moreau Week Six). It’s not just about the corn that we all remember but the memories and major moments that we had as kids. They made us who we are, and we can never leave behind those core memories. I can never forget where I came from when I continue on in my life. I believe that assumptions shouldn’t be made against anyone. At the first game of the season, my roommate and I were sitting in the student section watching the game. During the https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://youtu.be/UjSwjn-SyB4 http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html second half, an old white man said something racist to my roommate because she had braids in her hair and because of her skin color. Immediately my roommate wanted to leave because she felt uncomfortable and also like she didn’t belong. In that moment, I felt so bad for my roommate but I had no idea how to stand up for her. In a TED talk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, she says, “That when we reject the single story, when we realize that there is never a single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise,” (“Danger of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - FYE Moreau Week Seven). This is important to realize because when you don’t make assumptions you see that there is so much more to this world, to each individual, than meets the eye. I can learn to see people as not a single story, but get to know who they really are. https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story