Integration 4 Integration 4- How Do I Pursue a Life well-lived? Moreau First Year Experience April 29, 2021 A Life with Purpose: Impact, Relationships and being Present A life well-lived moves beyond being a “good person” or choosing to do the “right” thing in tough situations. A life well-lived requires intentionality and careful planning to cultivate a cohesive, impactful and kind set of values that inform an individual’s decision making. This life requires consistent values and an open mindset to integrate growth and new life experiences with those values. A life well-lived allows a person to be dependable and well understood in their community too because individuals actions and values impact the border community. Choosing to live this intentional life is not easy, however the positive consequences far exceed any initial difficulties. My life well-lived does not begin after graduation, getting a first job or starting a family. It begins when I consciously decide to live it, and I need to ensure that I continue to value a life well-lived. Death is inevitable and can happen unexpectedly. Accepting this reality now is an important aspect of prioritizing my life well lived and the direct values I want to carry now instead of looking at more shallow pursuits. This certain uncertainty reframes the beauty of life and opportunity to live well today because I am only guaranteed the present. This idea, also known as memento mori, has been popularized by American nun Sister Theresa Alethia. She first adopted this mindset after rediscovering Catholicism in college (“Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you will die” by Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week 3). In keeping with her life well-live, Sister Alethia took the realization of this freedom to act on her values and began sharing memento mori on social media. Her ability to find peace in death and share her important values with the world is my inspiration too. As a college student it is easy to discount the validity or impact of my contributions to the world or community. Sister Alethia teaches that accepting death as a catalyst to act in the present and sharing my values however different they may seem really can begin a life well lived. Reflecting on death helps give an individual perspective on what is important to them and how they want to be remembered. Right now certain assignments, internships or goals might seem important, but my funeral will not be about the tasks and roles that I held, but the person I was. My eulogy would detail how I lived my life. It would highlight my relationships with others, my gratitude, positive leadership and other traits I hope to have embodied (“Integration 3” by and “Integration Three Instructions_SP22” by Moreau FYE Instructors- Moreau FYE Week 8) Following A life well-lived is not a goal that is saved for “after” or something to reflect on at the end of my life. It is a daily habit, a set of core values that inform big decisions and mundane situations. An inspiring example of this daily commitment is former Notre Dame president Fr. Ted Hesburgh. Fr. Hesburgh committed himself to community building and service to others as a child and entered the priesthood to ground those goals in his Catholic faith. Fr. Hesburgh knew his values needed to be connected to action and continually placed these values ahead of other selfish interests. In the face of segregation and racism nationally, students' individual financial struggles or controversial speakers, Fr. Hesburgh just reviewed his values and acted accordingly (“Hesburgh” by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley - Moreau FYE Week https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UUt1W2pXaRvUuxsvLdQIYYk40BriL7Wj/edit https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1SkhkzZIMH2UwJauu5J_yq76rGV0GcG_lVd8KPBLTFF0/edit https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 2). He was never intimidated by others' judgments or repercussions and allowed his goals and their connected values to lead him. Goal setting and regular self-reflection help me connect my values to tangible action in my daily life. I also use this reflection to help me connect with others and ensure my life is positively impacting my community. A life well-lived revolves around constant connection and reconnection to values. Many of which I detailed in the first half of my mission statement: “I am at my best when I am around others in positive relationships. In these relationships, I am able to support and be honest with others, and they can support and talk honestly with me. I push myself to create deep, meaningful relationships with substantive quality time and conversations. I also work to make a positive impact on the world, in my classes or professional jobs. I embrace humanity but making these genuine connections and respecting the community around me. I work to alleviate suffering by offering a listening ear, words of support. Professionally and academically I create innovative solutions that recognize individuals and human experience, not broad, quick fixes” (“Week 13 QQC” by - Moreau FYE Week 13). Many of these values are important, but I must ensure I connect them to my actions. In order to make my positive impact professionally I must carefully research and discern different job opportunities and continually reassess my roles. I have begun this careful discernment by looking at the mission statements of companies in fields I am interested in. After finding these companies that fit my values and enact positive change, I will need to talk with real life employees to receive their first hand perspectives (“Navigating Your Career Journey” by Meruelo Family Center for Career Development- Moreau FYE Week 4). They can tell me exactly how they are able to live out company values and the way their work is structured around both their skills and aspirations. At its core a life well-lived focuses on the dignity of each individual person. I hope to place common dignity as a core belief and guiding value in my life well-lived. Connecting with a broad community of people means the inevitable interaction with individuals different from myself and hearing opinions I have never encountered or disagree with. The world is not uniform. Embracing this diversity can help me foster inclusion and give my broader community the ability to learn from each other and accomplish more than if we were separated (“Why It’s So Hard to Talk to White People About Racism” by Dr. Robin D’Angelo - Moreau FYE Week 10). A life well-lived does not mean being a pushover or pushing others into one set of beliefs; a life well-lived can navigate diverse experiences and perspectives by bringing people together through common humanity. When I make new relationships a more accepting and open community can form and enact positive change. Hostile relationships do not allow space for these important actions. Jesuit priest and gang intervention leader, Fr. Gregory Boyle creates his life well-lived by highlighting this common humanity between opposing gang members and the relationship between gang members and other parts of society(“Chapter 8: Jurisdiction” by Fr. Gregory Boyle - Moreau FYE Week 7). He is able to take this baseline equality and bring forward healthing relationships that directly improve individual lives and those in the community. I strive to follow Fr. Boyle’s example and be a force for connection and commonality. https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1G1jHjNAummkz1eZeB2fXhsEM7E-lzLgQB02XEpghT5o/edit https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bdVnfLDrJUJhd-4UtYb_kfRpcFgOoOeY7O1WT8_d3iw/edit https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bdVnfLDrJUJhd-4UtYb_kfRpcFgOoOeY7O1WT8_d3iw/edit https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41088/files/524008/download?download_frd=1 Environment and community are also incredibly important to my life well-lived, but it can be easy to wind up feeling stuck in unhealthy friendships or isolating myself with the wrong groups if I am not careful. Many weeks this semester focused on looking toward the people and things that comprise my environment as a way to assess my own behavior and steps toward future aspirations. It will be important that I rely on supportive, like-minded friends and family to help keep on the right path. An outside perspective can be a powerful avenue for identifying different shortcomings or toxic relationships that would pull me away from my life well-lived. The people around me are able to separate my emotions from my actions and can use their own resources and understanding of my environment to provide new insight (“Week Five Discernment Conversation Activity Document” by Moreau FYE Instructors – Moreau FYE Week 5). By talking with many different people in my support network I can also ensure I avoid trapping myself in an echo chamber or bubble of opinion that would isolate me from new ideas or hinder my ability to understand my community. Avoiding isolating myself from differing opinions also requires a sound understanding of my beliefs, so that I can actively identify avenues for education on other perspectives (“Big Questions 2, Part 4: How to Avoid an Echo Chamber” by Dr. Paul Blaschko– Moreau FYE Week 11). Cultivating relationships can be the most powerful teaching experience because it allows us to see different opinions and introduces us to the variety of life experiences present in our broader community. Today the reality of living in the United States is still very different for people of color, women, and the LGBTQ population, but learning about these exercises and opening myself up to others can expand my understanding of our world (“I am George Floyd. Except, I can breathe. And I can do something” by G. Marcus Cole - Moreau FYE Week 12). I can bring different groups together by continually relying on a border network of relationships that brings a diversity of opinions together. This will better inform my goals and ensure that my actions benefit and support those around me. I can learn to strike a balance between giving and receiving from others in these new relationships as well because without mutual support and improvement these relationships do not work toward a life well-lived that supports others. I cannot go into relationships only expecting to receive support or expecting to fix others (“Teaching Accompaniment: A Learning Journey Together” by Steve Reifenberg - Moreau FYE Week 9). I must go in under the goal to make a new connection and allow the similarities and differences between myself and another person to structure our interactions. While much of this reflection has focused on expectations, goals and values to live my life well-lived, I also want to give myself the grace to enjoy all the opportunities presented to me and embrace the fun, spontaneous nature of life. Above all, I want to feel fulfilled and surrounded by a loving, fun community of people. It is easy to feel that constantly working, setting goals and being productive might lead to more accomplishments but recreational time and relaxing are an equally important part of keeping myself mentally and physically happy and involved with others (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week 1). It is important to set work and self improvement boundaries to let myself just be present in reality and thankful for the opportunities I have to be alive. If I am not present with myself and others, then I am not fully living (“5 Minutes” by Aria Swarr - Moreau FYE Week 6). I am just constantly working for a future self, and I can never be thankful for where I am at and what I have accomplished. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yZ7hqvx-u4EuW2nlK-fRbWFiurQm1mZv_KpoeeiN4So/edit https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yZ7hqvx-u4EuW2nlK-fRbWFiurQm1mZv_KpoeeiN4So/edit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaIVxQcqnLs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaIVxQcqnLs https://law.nd.edu/news-events/news/dean-g-marcus-cole-i-am-george-floyd-except-i-can-breathe-and-i-can-do-something/ https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hZbSdVImfn2hZDqMrdL96dZCNOtHuf6C-lg3sH-Rs30/edit https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/transform/why-does-god-allow-suffering/?utm_source=moreau&utm_medium=class&utm_campaign=spring_2022