Gil 

Michael Comuniello
Week 13 Integration
During my first semester at Notre Dame, I’ve encountered various trials and tribulations, including loneliness, racism, discrimination, and depression. However, with the help of my peers and my friends, I learned to pull myself, take a step back, and overcome the obstacles that stopped me from being my most fabulous self. At the start of my time here, I was unsure where to find my proper place on the Notre Dame campus. I wasn’t confident in my communication skills, and I was uncertain about making friends, mainly because I stuck with a small close group of friends for most of my middle school and high school years. I was certainly worried about getting along in a new community and new environment. I was apprehensive, considering I had no familiar faces to lean on for support. Moreau taught me not to “look to others for approval or for directions for how to live your life. Look at all of the options out there for living life and pick the ones that you feel called to” (Hogan). I had to learn to leave my comfort zone and be comfortable in uncomfortable settings to find my community and hope for my future at Notre Dame. 
Initially, I was afraid of meeting new people and leaving my comfort zone because of conflict and dissonance. I was worried that I would get off on the wrong foot and be awkward in conversations. I also tend to be overly self-conscious about how other people perceive me. I was self-conscious about the impressions that I would make on others. I was self-conscious about how I would present myself. I had to learn to manage the dissonance within me. I learned to think less about how others perceive me and focus more on myself. I worked to be my own person and became much more proud of myself. I had to put my internal dissonance aside and gain the courage to face external dissonance. I learned that dissonance or “hatred is more dangerous to us than any other threat because it attacks the immune system of our society — our ability to see danger, come together and take action” (Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement). While I was nervous about meeting new people, I did my best to put myself there. I was constantly looking for opportunities to network and talk to people. I joined many clubs to find people of similar interests and did my best to find friends in my classes. I was finally getting out of my comfort zone.
Before I came to Notre Dame, I was well aware of the predominantly white student demographic. Coming from Los Angeles, specifically Koreatown, I was born and raised in a very diverse community. I was a little worried about how I would get along, especially as a person of color. I was also afraid of how well I would acclimate to a community with a different culture than the communities I had back at home. For example, I get homesick pretty quickly. I often miss my family and all the things they provide. When I miss home, I often also miss the food. Food is a big part of my family’s and my life. My parents usually cook, so I also helped around and learned to cook. Growing up, I experienced a lot of my Korean culture through the cuisine. Most of the meals I ate growing up were Korean in origin. I would often eat rice with every meal and a Korean side dish. So coming to college, especially at a predominantly white institution in a small city, I was unsure how well the food would treat me. Now that I spent a semester with the dining hall food, I can say that I’ve found myself missing home the most in the culinary department. To keep in touch with my culture, I joined the Korean club. Hoping to join a community with fellow minorities, I also joined many other cultural clubs such as the Filipino American Student Association, Hawaiian Club, and Chinese Culture Society to experience the diversity that Notre Dame indeed beheld. I was able to put my preconceived notions of Notre Dame behind me by connecting with the other diverse students of Notre Dame. I learned that if I “embrace the spiritual potentials of suffering, then both community and leadership, human resourcefulness and the capacity to hold it in trust, will prove to be abundant among us” (Palmer).
Through the first couple of weeks, I spent a lot of time putting myself out there and meeting new people. I tried my best to find another close group of people similar to my friends back home. I was desperate to find a community that I could call my family. I struggled to see this community that I wanted to encounter throughout my time. The dorm-centric nature of Notre Dame’s social culture made it difficult to find a close group of friends outside my dorm. It also didn’t help that I didn’t really fit in with the guys in my section or dorm. However, once I put myself out there to different people in different clubs, I found people who felt the same way. I stuck with a group of really amazing people from various dorms and became really close friends. Although I’ve only known my current friends for only a couple months, I genuinely feel like I’ve found a family at Notre Dame.
The new friends I found were very different from those I had back home. However, because of all the time I spent with them and the memories I made, I feel connected to them more as a family rather than friends. The new family I made also made me feel at home since this group reminded me of my family at home. Because of this community, I feel much more connected to Notre Dame and much happier and healthier. “In both light and shadow, the cross is Christ’s gift to us, our only hope.” (Holy Cross and Christian Education) Having found my group, I found it less necessary to constantly go out every weekend at parties to meet new people. Instead, I found it more important to spend time with this family and create lifelong memories.
Now that I have found my family at Notre Dame, I have great hope for what my future holds for me. I’m excited to meet new people and discover new opportunities and create deeper connections with my friends. I found hope in seeing how we would all grow together as active advocates for change in our communities. I hold great anticipation for what my friends and I will do in the future, not only at Notre Dame but also on our separate paths.


Works Cited
Hogan, Julia. “Why Letting Go of Expectations Is a Freeing Habit.” Grotto Network, 29 Jan. 2020, https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau.
Holy Cross and Christian Education - Campus Ministry. https://campusministry.nd.edu/assets/105621/.
Palmer, Parker J. “Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community • Center for Courage & Renewal.” Center for Courage & Renewal, 25 Feb. 2017, http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/.
“Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement.” Office of the President, https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/.