Integration Two—Donohoe Mr. Nguyen Moreau FYE 29 November 2021 “Hearts Are Breakable, And It’s a Good Thing”: Human Connection as the Foundation for Building the Future In a few short months, Notre Dame has transformed my life—introduced me to new people, given me new gifts and experiences. Yet what’s truly important, and what makes the future meaningful, is what Notre Dame can allow me to do for and with others. I met my first fellow Notre Dame Class of 2025 peers a few weeks before my first day on campus. It was at an old Kindergarten-8th Grade classmate's house—a Notre Dame Club of Los Angeles event. The familiar setting to begin a new leg of my journey immediately set my mind at ease regarding ND; There were familiar high school peers, friends from years prior, recognizable adults, and then the unknown faces: the adults at the front with ND polos, the students from other areas of LA—the ones representing a future of unfamiliar faces who would stay that way if I let opportunity slip me by. I sat down at a table with a mixture of those I knew and did not and struck up conversation. Flash forward a few weeks I took the same approach beginning first in Siegfried. When presented with a change of scenery, everyone possesses the same motive: familiarity—get to know others, make friends, feel unalone. At the pinnacle of our innate urge to rush into making friends or rush into joining clubs, groups, events, or other activities, imposter syndrome fuels our desire to be desirable—to be enough for someone, some group, something inside ourselves. “To call it a syndrome is to downplay how universal it is. It is not a disease or an abnormality” (“What is imposter syndrome https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=107&v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo&feature=emb_logo and how can you combat it?” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine). I am lucky enough to have arrived at Notre Dame not facing any severe imposter syndrome. I feel confident in my ability to perform to my own best. I spend most nights reflecting on the feeling of being at home here. Yet, feeling confidence in my own ability, my own self-worth, has not always been so easy. I am the youngest of two; I spent kindergarten through senior year in high school following my brother’s path. I always knew he was incredibly bright, but I never really captured the extent of his intelligence until later on in high school. As more and more teachers discussed him, more of my classmates began to know of his accomplishments as well. Perfect grades and test scores through college. Valedictorian to Harvard Law School. Seemingly every accolade obtainable. My peers made countless jokes at my expense comparing our intelligence. Yet, my brother never made me feel less than. I only saw his kindness, his jokes, our playful conversations on anything brothers discuss. Always encouraging. Always present. Notre Dame is my ability to be my own person. A new school for my family, despite the Irish-sounding last name. A chance for me to meet new people, many of whom will become role models that inform my character like my brother and the other ones before. In turn, I too would get to meet new people and make my impression on a new world: and I have already met so many amazing people. Fellow Siegfried Ramblers who have already contributed to a strong bond. Classmates turned friends. Acquaintances turned good friends. And unexpected individuals turned best friends. Almost everyone I’ve encountered has overall been content with their choice for Notre Dame. Yet following Thanksgiving break, I saw one friend post about how this place will never be home. I had always seen occasional frustration here and there, but to see those words on a screen from a friend who so truly felt hurt left a deep impression on me. “Hearts are breakable, and it’s a good thing…it’s worth celebrating because it allows you to grow https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=107&v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo&feature=emb_logo and expand” (“Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop” by Kirsten Helgeson - Moreau FYE Week Ten). It is easiest to make conversation with those that are happy where they are. But we are not called to do what is easiest, nor called to forget those that truly need a supportive friend. Everyone is struggling in some area. No one, no matter how strong they might seem on the outside, truly has everything put together. Each person needs words of encouragement. A comforting voice, or simply a good listener, can be what someone needs to get through a tough day, week, or month. I try to be that person. Just as Notre Dame’s academic side showcases the difficulty and struggle faced by so many students, so too does Notre Dame’s spiritual and emotional side reveal its mission to foster students who genuinely care for the well-being and social-emotional stability of their fellow peers: “Community is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received” (“13 Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker Palmer - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). I find it impossible to prepare directly for encountering brokenness; it is easy and welcoming to encounter hope and community and love, but those areas call us to participate, rise up and lead, and be a beacon to continue that path in the future. Unlike the others, encountering brokenness, which like the others will never simply go away in the future, is a past, present, and future state of being we must embrace and overcome. While we cannot prepare for the situation of brokenness, we as Notre Dame students can prepare for the mindset needed to combat brokenness. Having tough conversations with friends, patience to see the hope hidden in the future, being a person who will listen, truly listen, to your problems—these traits Notre Dame fosters in me and my peers each day from the role models of upperclassman, rectors, and professors to the original message lived by the founders of our college: “[Moreau] increasingly saw possibilities beyond the needs and circumstances of his native region” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Father James B. King CSC - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/ http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ https://campusministry.nd.edu/assets/105621/ https://campusministry.nd.edu/assets/105621/ The easiest path in life is worthless because it bypasses all the good and bad we must encounter to form as men and women for and with others. Notre Dame has taught me to seek out the uncomfortable, challenge myself in what I want for my future and what type of person I wish to be, and treat each opportunity as a gift worth cherishing and in turn utilizing to better myself and my community. Notre Dame is the small conversations in the quesadilla line with the familiar faces from yesterday. Notre Dame is chatting on the way back from section football, already analyzing each play-by-play. Notre Dame is silently dying of laughter on the 12th floor of Hesburgh Library, surrounded by friends, sleep-deprived, procrastinating essays with due dates known weeks in advance yet “forgotten” until the nights before its arrival. Notre Dame is breaking down in front of the closest friends you meet after only a few months—trusting them with your words and tears as they do with their own. Notre Dame is human connection—forming bonds that will last a lifetime.