Reflecting on New Realizations


Reflecting on New Realizations

After some reflection and thought, I’ve come to realize the depth of the experience I’ve
had here in just a few months at Notre Dame. I’ve been through ups and downs, highs and
lows, and experienced such a wide variety of emotions in such a short amount of time. Over this
period of time, I’ve encountered a variety of experiences that I never really saw back at home.
For the first time, I’ve been away from my friends and family long enough to really be my own
person, but that comes with a lot of learning. While I still have a long way to go, I’m proud of
what I’ve been able to achieve so far in my time here, and I’m thankful for both the positive and
negative experiences, as they’ve shaped me into a more mature and thoughtful person.

One of the first things I encountered in my time so far at Notre Dame is the ability to truly
be free and be the sole decision-maker for myself. I did have a fair amount of freedom in high
school, but whenever I made decisions, my family would know about it and usually would
influence them in one way or another. Now, I can do things on my own and the only reason for
doing them is because I decided to. I no longer have to live up to expectations set by my
parents or others, which I was so used to doing in high school. It reminds me of what Julia
Hogan said in her article, where she wrote, “Instead of letting your life be ruled by the
expectations of others or your own expectation that you have to perfect, what if you just did your
best?” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” - Julia Hogan, Moreau FYE Week 9)
Responding to this new realization of freedom wasn’t easy, as I spent many days wasting my
time watching Netflix and procrastinating doing my homework. But at the same time, it still felt
good to be able to have that choice, to have that freedom regardless of the expectations of
others around me. Eventually, I was able to productively respond to this new freedom by
beginning a routine that I tend to follow every day, where I allot time for myself to eat, relax,
spend time with friends, exercise, and go to the library to study. Ironically, I assume that this
routine is exactly what my parents would expect of me, but it makes me feel more accomplished
that I was able to produce it myself. Finding this new sense of productivity from my encounter
with my freedom as a college student is something that I hope to continue in my years here at
Notre Dame.

Another encounter that I’ve had so far at Notre Dame is with new relationships. I’ve met
a wide variety of people here who come from all sorts of different backgrounds and walks of life.
All of my friends from back home grew up in our town for their entire lives, and while we still
have many differences, a lot of our experiences have been shared experiences. Coming to
college, I’ve realized that’s not the case. It’s been so interesting to see people who come from
all over the world and have different viewpoints and opinions from me because I think it’s
healthy to have people in your life who don’t always think the same way that you do. It reminds
me of a quote from Father Jenkins, where he said, “At a time of expanding diversity of people
and moral opinions — when we need more skill and wisdom in engaging those with other views
— we seem to be less skillful, less wise.” (“Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement” -
Father John Jenkins, Moreau FYE Week 10) Encountering new people with different
backgrounds and viewpoints has made me respond by realizing that I want people like that in
my life. Having close friends from all over the place who can tell me about their unique
experiences and ideas is something that I feel will benefit me greatly, and I hope to continue to
be close with friends who have diverse thoughts and opinions during my time here. At the same

https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau
https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/


time, this new influx of people that have come into my life has been nice, but also a little
overwhelming. It’s been difficult to tell who I’m really close friends with, and who are more of the
people that I won’t be involved with for too long. Part of that comes from the dorm life here. I live
in Duncan Hall, and I’ve gathered that building a brotherhood is especially important to us. I’ve
never felt more welcomed by a group of people than the group of men we have in Duncan.
However, at first, it did seem like the relationships I had made in Duncan were very forced. It
reminds me of what Parker J. Palmer discussed when he wrote, “When we treat community as a
product that we must manufacture instead of a gift we have been given, it will elude us
eternally.” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” - Parker J. Palmer, Moreau FYE Week 11)
During welcome week, the upperclassmen in Duncan spent a lot of time doing activities with us
freshmen in order to try and create some immediate sense of community and brotherhood, but
to me it felt very forced and it didn’t exactly work. As Parker writes, you can’t treat a community
as a product to be manufactured. However, as time has gone on here in Duncan, I’ve begun to
naturally develop close relationships with many of the people in my hall, which really just came
from living in the same space for so long. It made me realize that relationships take time, and
even if you think you know somebody well, it still takes a while to really know them. In the future,
I plan to continue to respond to new relationships with the mindset that it’s going to take me a
while to really become close with someone new.

My final encounter that I’ve made so far at Notre Dame is the encounter with setbacks.
From the beginning, I set myself some high expectations as far as my academic career has
gone and it hasn’t really worked out for me. I’ve overslept through my alarm multiple times, I’ve
gotten B’s on tests, I’ve missed some homework assignments. Everytime these things have
happened to me, I end up feeling miserable and defeated. I’ve responded to this by realizing
that everyone goes through challenges and defeats like this, and it’s more about how I respond
to these adversities more than anything else. As C.S. Lewis said, “He relies on the troughs even
more than on the peaks; some of His special favorites have gone through longer and deeper
troughs than anyone else.” (“The Screwtape Letters” - C.S. Lewis, Moreau FYE Week 12)
Everyone has difficulties, but it’s those difficulties that develop you further as a person. Since
having these issues, I’ve learned to try and better myself from them by creating a plan.
Whenever I don’t achieve a goal of mine, whether that’s getting to class on time or getting the
grade I want on a test, I make it a priority to write down three things that I can do next time that
would put me in a better position to succeed. Doing so has made me feel less stressed and
down on myself after experiencing adversity, and the results have been successful so far.

http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/
https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28128/files/186057?module_item_id=102830