Eulogy Mia McLoughlin Moreau First Year Experience Professor Erik Oswald 4 March 2022 Integration Three: Pockets of Peace Mia Shu Jing Marilyn McLoughlin had many names. “Mia” was given by her parents when she was adopted. “Shu Jing” was given to her by the orphanage and had always been dear to her heart. “Marilyn” was the name of her maternal grandmother, someone whose goodness that she always tried to emulate. Although these distinct names have value in themselves, their deeper meanings cannot be examined without taking time to appreciate the nuances that each of them holds. We can think of human life in the same way. It is easy to allow the day-to-day challenges that we face to characterize our lives; however, we must realize that there is good even in the worst of times. Pockets of peace exist everywhere–especially in our hectic lives. Life is about the little moments, the natural enjoyments, and the delight we take in the company of others. Although Mia lived a life full of experiences, the time in which she developed her beliefs the most was when she took Moreau First Year Experience at Notre Dame during her freshman year. She learned that there is more to life than purely academics and achievement. A life well lived is one in which we take time to stop and appreciate everything. There is always something to be grateful for. When Mia was growing up, it was obvious that she had an “Intense need for loyalty” and was “Passionate about everything she did”, (Conversation with Mary McLoughlin, February 6, 2022, Moreau FYE Week 5). This was manifested in various scenarios throughout her childhood such as when she absolutely refused to pick out an American Girl Doll because she felt as if she were betraying her favorite stuffed bunny, named Booey. Furthermore, Mia refused to go to preschool because she did not want to leave her family (she indeed won this fight and did not go). The relationships that were most important to her were not only her family, but everyone she had ever met. Throughout her time at Notre Dame, she always tried to be a part of “...[creating] loving communities of kinship precisely to counteract mounting lovelessness, racism, and the cultural disparagement that keeps us apart, ” because she believed that it was imperative to be a friend to everyone ("Tattoos on the Heart" – Moreau FYE Week 7). She knew that for many, it is so easy to ignore those who are suffering even though we must instead take time to help them. Mia believed that the relationships that are characteristic of a life well-lived are all relationships. As a human race, everyone is our family, and it is our job to protect them through any circumstance. Throughout Mia’s time at Notre Dame, her beliefs were challenged the most. Unfortunately, she let her challenges overtake her ability to make friends and forge new relationships, something that was so dear to her when she was little. As it says in the Hesburgh Film, “It’s impossible to have a complete human story if one doesn’t speak of human failings as well as human success,” (“Hesburgh Film'' Produced by Jerry Barca and Christine O'Malley – Moreau FYE Week 2). During her freshman year, Mia faced significant challenges when it came to finding her place. Her troubles began before Welcome Weekend commenced. While every other freshman was moving into their dorms, Mia was taking a math placement exam. She was beyond confident that she would pass given that her major was applied and computational mathematics and statistics. In high school, she was the Illinois state math team champion for 2020 and 2021. How could she possibly fail a calculus I exam? Much to her astonishment, her worst fear came true. Unfortunately, Mia had made being good at math one of her hallmark traits. However, this was unhealthy because, “If a person only focuses on one or two parts of his/her self-concept for a career, that person will eventually hit a wall, “ ("Navigating Your https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/39695/files/523981?module_item_id=167999 https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ Career Journey" – Moreau FYE Week 4). The applications of this quote hold true not only in a career sense, but in the overall scheme of life. It is impossible to live a fulfilling life when you are constantly preoccupied with one part of millions that make up who you are. Although Mia was absolutely crushed, she knew that she had to persevere through the disappointment and move onto conquering her next challenge. Instead of asking herself why she failed, she instead thought about what she could have done differently. As it is said, “Why questions trap us in our past; what questions help us create a better future,” ("The right way to be introspective (yes, there’s a wrong way)" by Tasha Eurich PhD – Moreau FYE Week 6). Despite her unrelenting desire to succeed, Mia’s entire first semester at Notre Dame was still tainted by a lack of confidence. She quickly fell victim to imposter syndrome. Instead of enjoying her time making new friends and the gorgeous weather outside, she locked herself in her dorm to study. Mia felt as if she could just do better, get a higher grade, that she would be happier. At the time, she didn’t realize that she already had so much to be happy about. She got into her dream school, had the best roommate in the world, and had already developed such an amazing system of support who was always there for her. Thankfully, at the start of second semester she realized that she may have not felt “happy” at every moment, but she was always filled with joy. Happiness can certainly be fleeting, and can quickly change, while “Joy, on the other hand, is much deeper and much more central, it comes from within, and it’s a genuine rightness of how one lives one’s life,” ("Three Key Questions" by Fr. Michael Himes – Moreau FYE Week 3). She quickly changed her mind set and found happiness in the smallest things. The sound of airplanes reminded her of her home in Chicago. The squirrels reminded her of her grandfather and the birds of her grandmother. Mass every Sunday was just like how she and her https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/39695/files/469291?module_item_id=144741 dad would always go together. Joy overflowed her heart, and she would never turn back to a life of ignoring the little things that make life so rich. The sadness she felt about her math exam no longer occupied her mind. Mia’s obsession with getting perfect grades dissipated (don’t worry, she still aimed for A’s, but not at the expense of her heart). Instead, she made more time for finding pockets of peace. It is necessary to slow down our lives because “The need for an empty space, a pause, is something we have all felt in our bones; it’s the rest in a piece of music that gives it resonance and shape,” (“Why we need to slow down our lives'' by Pico Iyer – Moreau FYE Week 1). The extra hour she used to spend studying was now dedicated to calling her family. Staying up an hour later to read just one more chapter was now time she spent laughing with others. The last-minute review sessions before an exam were now when she would eat a meal she previously would have skipped. Mia found herself being able to focus on relationships once again, something so important to her since her childhood. Mia turned her rough start of college into a life lesson. From that point on, she always looked for pockets of peace within her life. She found joy in everything and everyone. She always tried to be a friend to everyone and was relentlessly loyal to them. Although life was not always sunshine and rainbows, she tried her best to live a life well lived–one in which we take time to stop and appreciate everything. Mia never forgot that there is always something to be grateful for. https://ideas.ted.com/author/pico-iyer/ https://ideas.ted.com/author/pico-iyer/