Moreau FYE
Mike
Integration 2
12/3/21

	Developing a BROAD(y)ER Understanding of Life

	The first couple months of my college career consisted of a few, simple things: excitement, failure, and disappointment. This is quite evident in the rocky, decreasing line that I drew from August through October on my “high-low” chart (Moreau FYE Week Twelve). After I managed to get my feet under myself, I have had the opportunity to explore both the benefits of excitement, and the benefits of disappointment. Specifically, I have questioned my current path, accepted the absurdity of perfection, and developed a balanced group of friends and future roommates. Overall, I have taken my experiences from the first half of the term--the good ones and the bad ones--and reviewed them so that I may continue on a path that is best suited for my beliefs and desires.
	In high school I rarely engaged with the school community beyond those who could help boost my “Adam one” side. In short, I “only tried to build on [my] strengths” (“Should You Live for Your Resume or Your Eulogy” by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two). Coming to college, however, I promised myself that I would begin to focus on things other than my resume. While it is a little more difficult, it is much more satisfying. When I tested this method out by doing absolutely no homework on the first gameday, I felt like a different Brody...I felt like an imposter. I was at one of the top colleges in the world, and I was spending my first free weekend tailgating and partying from 10 AM until 10 PM. The day after, I looked back and felt like I “hadn’t really earned [my] accomplishments” (“What is Imposter Syndrome” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine). Although it felt weird, I kept forcing myself to engage in events around campus: section football, interhall Cross Country, S’mores with Flaherty, BP SYR, and more! I finally reached a point where I feel comfortable doing something other than working toward an end goal 24/7, while also maintaining that inner drive to become a dedicated, compassionate doctor.
	This “new” Brody lifestyle proved to be quite beneficial. In my Week Nine reflection, I mentioned how I related to the feeling of a “Lonely College Student” (“Advice From a Formerly Lonely College Student” by Emery Bergmann - Moreau FYE Week Nine)...yeah...it took about three weeks for that to change. To be fair, at that point I was in the midst of the “October dip” that was a common low on many individuals’ graphs during Week Twelve. Fast forward to about a week ago: I was sitting in my dorm room with three of my good friends talking about how we need to secure the “Meat Locker” for next year, a four-man room with a lounge area that not many people know about. Looking back, it was these guys that I had fantastic experiences with at football games, in the dining hall, in SUB, and in Duncan’s two-four, all within the last two months. My mindset about Notre Dame and its prestige completely changed. It was quite an amazing feeling to realize that I could balance work and play...that I could “Play Like a Champion Today,” both in academics and in friendships. For the future, I am confident in my ability to achieve a perfect (at most times) balance between having fun with friends, and working hard in school.
	While this balance between work and play has become clearer to me, other things have not. I am still unclear as to why I constantly feel like a nerd that is regularly being beat up by a bully whose name is “Chemistry 10181.” I put more effort into this class than any class I have before by a longshot. This hard work, however, is never displayed in my exam scores. This course is the only task that I have faced wherein genuine, hard work barely contributes to one’s success. I explained my situation to my dad, and all he said was: “I gave you hard-working genes, but not the super, crazy, smart genes like those doing well in the class have...but I think you are smart enough to know you need out of that class because an average of a 60 on an exam is simply absurd!”
	Throughout my struggles with this class--which got worse as time went on--guys from my dorm continued to demonstrate their understanding. One sophomore who, like my future self, dropped Biochemistry ASAP, went out of his way to put me in touch with one of his friends who was currently a chemistry tutor for the Learning Resources Center. I have gone to meet with him in Coleman Morse every Tuesday for two hours since that initial meeting. The individual in my dorm comforted me, and pushed me to be better. “I need people for comfort, encouragement, and support, and for criticism, challenge, and collaboration” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau Week Eleven). Although I am still struggling, this kind deed made me feel as though I was not the only one in my boat. Previously it had felt like I was a member of a one-man crew. This sense of community struggle gave me comfort that I had not experienced before. From these struggles, followed by this warm embrace, I have grown to accept what happens in life for what it is: failure happens, and I need to accept that I am far from perfect, and so failure will inevitably come. Like Father John Jenkins said, regardless of “the many demands of [Chemistry 10181] pushing [me] in other directions,” I have to “push back” (“Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address” By Fr. John Jenkins - Moreau FYE Week Ten). Having had this experience, I am now fully aware of the close, resourceful community around me that loves one another for who they are--failures and all.
	On the topic of community, I have come to a revelation that people at Notre Dame genuinely want the best for you. Specifically, I have also answered a major question I had coming into college. My high school was a very prestigious, competitive school. Kids would ask you “what did you get” on nearly every assignment you ever took, ranging from a Spanish coloring sheet to the SAT. I absolutely despised people when they asked this question. At Notre Dame, however, I have rarely experienced that. One would think at such a highly-regarded institution, everyone would try to beat everyone else. While that may be true in interhall football, it is often not the case in the classroom. Before coming to Notre Dame, I knew that everyone sought success; I did not know, however, that everyone wanted to see their peers succeed to the same extent.
I had a recent experience that truly exemplified this notion of community support. About one week before spring term class registration, I received an email from a sophomore in my dorm. “UNDERCLASSMEN SCHEDULING EXTRAVAGANZA MONDAY IN 2-4” read the email. He had gathered together a band of upperclassmen from various majors to help freshmen pick the most interesting classes, best teachers, and preferred time slots. I sat down with an upperclassman who was also pre-med and he gave me “the lowdown” for the next year and a half of my academic career. These upperclassmen spent over an hour of their time helping random freshmen pick out their classes. I doubt many of my friends at other colleges have this opportunity. This “extravaganza” furthered my understanding of what the term “Notre Dame family” truly means. I will keep this in mind for the rest of my Notre Dame career, helping out the incoming freshman in the different ways that I can. I also hope to keep this example in mind throughout my future plans as I move on with my life, not forgetting to help those entering into a new journey behind me.
None of these revelations over the past couple months came to me through intense search. Rather, they came to me through natural experience, along with a sense of hope. In fact, I am still searching for a lot of answers. These blank spots in my future do scare me. However, it is my newly discovered sense of hope that “make[s me] stronger and prepare[s me] for harder challenges in the future” (“Hope-Holy Cross and Cristian Education” by Fr. James B. King - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). It was not until about a month ago that I could say I am confident with where I am in my college life. Ultimately, throughout the second half of the semester, I have grown to accept failure side by side with those around me. And when I do fail in the future--and I will--I can always remember: “a setback is a setup for a comeback” (Willie Jolley).