Integration Three Ryan DuFour March 2nd, 2022 Morea Integration Three A Word on my Friend I am up here today with a heavy heart delivering the eulogy for my longtime friend, Ryan DuFour. For those of you who knew Ryan, you saw that he was an amazing father, husband, and friend. Ryan had a great sense of the “larger picture” of life from an unusually young age(“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer-Moreau FYE Week One). He understood the importance of acknowledging that our lives are finite and that we need to live every moment to the fullest. This is contrary to what most people do. In a New York Times article, Ruth Graham writes, “We try to suppress the thought of death, or escape it, or run away from it because we think that’s where we’ll find happiness”(“Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you will die” by Ruth Graham-Moreau FYE Week Three). Ryan grasped the importance of keeping his death in mind so that he was reminded to take risks every day. He took risks like going skydiving, running marathons, and going to the ends of the earth for his passion for fishing. Ryan was a strong-willed and passionate man. He was an avid catholic throughout his life and he instilled his faith in his children as well. Ryan was not afraid to share his opinions on a matter and he stood up for what he believed in. Ryan belonged to the “side of decency” and a “fundamental belief in the redeemability of mankind”(“Hesburgh”, produced by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley-Moreau FYE Week Two). He treated all people with the same dignity and respect that they deserved. He was a great orator, possessing the ability to articulate complex ideas with ease. He made an impact on the lives of everyone he met and he was a constant source of advice and positivity. His children and grandchildren remember his favorite line when https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/39639/modules/items/146760 something bad happened to them:” Every experience shapes you in some way, whether you realize it or not!”(Meruelo Family Center for Career Development-Moreau FYE Week Four). Ryan was one of the most mentally strong people that you will ever meet. When the times got tough he was able to just put one foot in front of another and keep moving forward. It took a lot to get to Ryan. The only things that could ever get to Ryan emotionally were relationship-related, especially with family members. When Ryan was already grown up, his mother, Patti, found a list of life goals that Ryan made for a college course. At the top of the list, it read, “I want lasting relationships”(Discernment Conversation Activity-Moreau FYE Week Five). Ryan made it his life goal to create strong relationships with as many people as he could, and that started his family. Ryan gave everything physically, mentally, and emotionally to his family. His joy stemmed from the happiness of everyone in his family. He never stopped telling his wife that she was the greatest thing that ever happened to him. She and Ryan had a special bond. They never lost their love for each other even after over 50 years of marriage. Ryan set out every day to provide for her and his family. The only time that I ever saw Ryan break down emotionally was when someone in his family was hurting. The first time I ever saw him cry was when his mother died. Ryan was in a dark place after both of his parents passed away. They were the world to him. Ryan went to his mother with any issue in his life. It is hard to imagine a closer mother-son relationship. At times it seemed that they were more like best friends than anything else. Ryan’s relationship with his father was different but just as strong. From a young age, he had amazing respect and a sense of pride for what his father accomplished professionally. Also, growing up Ryan saw an amazing way that his father treated his mother. Ryan wanted to be everything his father was when he grew up. I think the strength of these relationships is why he was so devastated when they were gone. He wanted to play just one more round of golf with his father https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yZ7hqvx-u4EuW2nlK-fRbWFiurQm1mZv_KpoeeiN4So/edit?usp=sharing or hear his mom’s voice one more time. For a few months, Ryan was quiet, reserved, irreproachable. He seemed to be in his own head thinking about how he could have spent more time with his parents and been a better son, which is ridiculous because he was a wonderful son. Then one day, he came across an article on self-introspection that stated, “the more time that participants spend in introspection the less self-knowledge they have”(“The Right Way to be Introspective(Yes, There’s a Wrong Way)” by Tasha Eurich-Moreau FYE Week Six). Ryan realized that blaming himself and questioning his life decisions wasn’t helping anyone. He made a conscious decision to return to normal life. One of the ways that he did this was by reaffirming his faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. As all of you know, Ryan’s faith had always played a major role in his life. Especially after he attended the University of Notre Dame. Ryan always turned to his faith in moments of strife in his life. He made his relationship with God one of the integral parts of his existence. In a talk about creating a better world, Pope Francis states, “When one realizes that life, even in the middle of so many contradictions, is a gift, that love is the source and the meaning of life, how can they withhold their urge to do good to another fellow being?”(“Why the only future worth building includes everyone” by His Holiness Pope Francis-Moreau FYE Week Seven). Ryan understood that life was a “gift” from God–the greatest gift anyone could ever receive. He thanked God every day for the blessings that he gave him and he set out to make the lives of others better. Ryan was truly a one-of-a-kind man. He was fun to be around, compassionate beyond belief, and one of the most intelligent men I have ever met. He used his successes in business to create a better world for so many people. He was creative, passionate, and driven until he passed. He never stopped coming up with ideas of how to change the world. My life is better having https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/39639/modules/items/146950 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/39639/modules/items/146950 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/39639/modules/items/147011 known him and I know that many people in this room can say the same thing. I can honestly say that the world is a little darker today now that he is gone. In the last few years of his life, Ryan told me that he wanted one thing to be said when he died. He told that he saw this quote at a young age and it never left his mind throughout his life. It kept him going every day. “We are never defeated until we give up on God”-Ronald Reagan. I hope you can keep that quote in mind and live life like Ryan. Thank you for being here today to celebrate the life of our dear friend, Ryan.