Integration Two

How will I respond to being in an environment filled with my peers and friends? More specifically, using the quote from Julia Hogan: “We all make mistakes. We will disappoint people. We’ll disappoint ourselves. But the world doesn’t have to end when that happens,” (https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week 9) we can look at how failures among peers can be more challenging but equally important when compared to failure among an older audience, especially of people we may not know as well. Living at home and going to school Pre-K - 12th grade, there is a certain ability to get a somewhat fresh start if we fail and choose to run away from our mistakes. There are so many people in a city (I am basing this off my circumstances at home, this is likely not to be true for a resident of a small town) that an ugly end to a friendship may sting and hurt for a while but there are entirely new groups of people to associate with. You don’t even have to be physically near the people. 
	At Notre Dame, I have encountered a situation where I cannot leave my mistakes since I live, study, and socialize with the same people. I am both surrounded and embraced on all sides - while it may seem terrifying knowing that your mistakes will stay with you, it is sometimes more difficult to see that these people will offer forgiveness. I have messed up plenty of times, I have seen some of my good friends stop speaking to each other for nearly a week after a fight, but after each mistake people offer forgiveness. We are all experiencing a scary new world together and encountering forgiveness along the way. No one needs to be perfect and I am so glad I have been learning that I can forgive myself over the course of this semester. 
	I have also encountered not only a wide variety of opinions, but a range of well-reasoned opinions here. I have rarely seen people utter some ignorant and hateful comment because their parents or a TV show was espousing such messages. However, I have had more encounters with needlessly divisive or even outright ignorant and racist speech. Yet these are always addressed with good faith - no attacking the person’s integrity (even if there may be a great deal of internal judgment) and the people are able to remain close. This seems to be special to a place where diverse and educated thought is encouraged and where prejudiced and hateful and ignorant views are not loudly or even often shared because people mostly do their due diligence and research before speaking. I think this is special to Notre Dame and other like-minded universities because of a quote from Father Jenkins: “
A zeal for different opinions concerning religion, concerning government, and many
other points ... have ... divided mankind into parties, inflamed them with mutual
animosity, and rendered them much more disposed to vex and oppress each other than
to co-operate for their common good.” (https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/ - Fr. Jenkins - Moreau FYE Week 10) Here, I have encountered something special where people, albeit divided into parties, have reason and tact enough to approach difficult topics with respect. Here, we are able to avoid the disposition to vex and instead are inclined to learn by crashing conflicting thoughts against each other. However, I have noticed that some political hot-topic issues. For example, I have heard very little talk about truly political hot-topic issues such as Trump, Biden, and abortion.
	Within this larger group of reasonable and sound-minded individuals, I have stumbled upon several smaller communities of individuals who have become friends over the course of the semester. I use the phrase “stumble upon” to show how I have found Parker’s concept, shown in this quote - “When we try to “make community happen,” driven by desire, design, and determination—places within us where the ego often lurks—we can make a good guess at the outcome: we will exhaust ourselves and alienate each other, snapping the connections we yearn for.” (http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ - Parker - Moreau FYE Week 11) - to be true. From my personal experience, the most engaging and pleasant friends are the friends that result from organic friendships. I tried to force a friendship with one person in my chem tutorial but that was a short lived friendship as I had to consciously try to be an engaging friend. All my best friendships here are with people that engage me naturally and vice versa. I am able to encounter natural communities of honest friendships. We enjoy each-other’s company so there is no great division - some small disagreements, sure, but nothing major like that which can arise from artificial friendships. Parker’s essay helped me understand this fact, that artificial friendships focused on making ourselves feel appreciated lead to disagreement or discontentment while natural friendships are built on mutual respect and good company. 
	Over my first semester, I have encountered far more diverse individuals in so concentrated a space than I have ever experienced before. I feel that this, along with Notre Dame’s liberal arts education, will prepare me for the world ahead. A view on Notre Dame’s effects shared by Fr. Moreau who said: “He came to see his major purposes as a priest and educator first, to re-evangelize adult Catholics so they understood the basic principles of their faith and, even more importantly, to provide the young with a first-rate liberal arts education that would enable them to surmount anti-religious prejudice and so slowly transform civil society in the decades ahead.” (https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28217/files/192206/download?download_frd=1 - Fr. Moreau - Moreau FYE Week 12) While we may not be in the midst of a revolution filled with enlightenment and secular ideals, we are challenged with a wide variety of other voices that challenge the world we want to build. In encountering such a wide range of beliefs here, we are becoming prepared to deal with the outside world with tact and with a more cultured and worldly-wise yet faith-filled mindset. 
	In all of these encounters, the key seems to be responding with openness and honesty. In relationships and community we need to let them happen naturally. In terms of hope we must allow it to flow into us. In dissonance we must understand that we make mistakes but honestly take responsibility and be open to growth. In terms of brokenness, we must be open to healing.