integration 3 Fr. Kevin Sandberg Integration Three 22 February 2022 Being me, Bravely. Courage is something I can safely say I have struggled with for the majority of my life, unfortunately. Sometimes I just think that I was born and wired as an anxious kid. Time and time again I would feel myself ruining my family holidays by refusing to partake in activities that would in any way scare me. I just could never see past the terror to the fun that everyone else derived from the likes of skiing. It was probably at the age of ten or eleven that I felt the anxiety take over my life and my parents' life. I had been in and out of different therapists for anxiety for years but I just never really clicked with any of them. When I was fourteen I finally met a great one and I am eternally grateful to my parents for not giving up on the search for someone to help me. My anxiety and complete lack of courage improved greatly over the course of the following year and things were looking up for me. On the day after my sixteenth birthday, one of my close friends died in a car accident and our worlds changed completely. His death was a huge turning point in my life. I knew I couldn’t afford to live in debilitating fear anymore, not when life is something so precious that can be taken away from us at any minute. I also adopted the mindset that if anything were to ever happen to me, I would be with my friend forever. To be completely honest, I thought the change in my attitude towards fear would come instantly after Shane’s death, but it took a while. I slowly embraced life for the beautiful thing that is. I felt that I slowly stopped asking myself why I was afraid of everything. I believe that this is where the extract on “The Right Way to be Introspective” by Tasha Eurich in Week 6, came into play in my life. I had https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ to stop beating myself up, and just try to go with the flow of life that everyone else seemed to be doing. When I suggested to my parents the idea that I go to college in America, they were absolutely shocked. I know they were, but they didn’t really let this on to me, instead they encouraged me all the way, getting me any help in the process that I needed. The whole process was completely foreign to me and my family but regardless I spent a year working on my application, and working hard in school. The day I got into Notre Dame was very emotional for my parents. They always tell me how proud they are of me, but this was different. I honestly don’t think they ever envisioned a life where I would go out bravely on my own. Because of the covid regulations, my parents weren’t able to travel to America to move me in, and this made me nervous but I got through it. The scenes in the airport when I was leaving were something else! My whole family stood crying and laughing that this was me leaving all on my own. But here’s the thing, I really didn’t feel alone, I naturally felt nervous but I was completely empowered. In the extract that we read in week one from William Deresiewicz’s “The Students”, the author comments, “Such is our image of these enviable youngsters, who appear to be the winners in the race we have made of childhood”. I do completely agree that we are “enviable youngsters”, but I would strongly argue that there is so much more to all of our lives than just something to envy. Being here, for so many of us, might be something that we completely never imagined for ourselves. In a way I might have ‘won’ the race that is childhood, but to me, this is only the starting line. Sometimes I have to stop and pinch myself and think, wow how lucky am I to have this wonderful place to learn from and to act as the launchpad to the rest of my life. I feel that I have had a few main mentors that have helped me get to the point in my life that I’m at today. In Week 4, we read “The Gifts of a Mentoring Environment”, by https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/35982/pages/read-the-students-by-william-deresiewicz?module_item_id=145460 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/35982/files/580889?module_item_id=180911 Sharon Daloz Parks, and my view on mentorship was completely redefined. The mentor I had for a very short amount of time, had the biggest impact on my life. Similar to in the extract my “most positive learning experience was not only in one-on-one learning contexts, where, for example, an individual student might work with a professor in an office or laboratory setting”. The time that this mentor had the biggest impact on my life was in a group setting. I was doing work experience when I was sixteen in one of the main stockbroking firms in Dublin, Davy. The woman overseeing the program took a liking to me early on for some reason. We had a group stock pitch to complete for the end of the week when we would present our pitch to the head of equity in Davy. Susan, the program organizer, put me into a group with three boys from the course and I immediately started worrying about how I would get a word in with the boys. Susan pulled me aside before we met with our groups and explained to me that it was such an important skill for women in business to be able to handle and work alongside men. This was probably the first time my creativity shone through in a real life setting, but it was a challenging task. The boys were funny but I found myself having to be the leader from very early on. Our presentation ended up going very well, although we didn’t win the competition. All of our parents came to watch our stock pitches, and after the competition Susan pulled my mother aside to tell her that she envisioned big things for me. I am forever grateful to her for challenging me in a way that I would never have pushed myself. This is certainly my understanding now of a real mentor. She inspired in me, a long term creativity to go further in achieving my goals. I have many fond memories of secondary school but one of the most prominent memories that stands out to me is the time that I took part in the Lighthouse Leaders program. This was a program started by my vice principal when I was seventeen and it will forever be one of my favorite leadership experiences. We went through six weeks of training before me met the kids. During the training we learned all about servant leadership and how each one of us was called to be a servant leader. This new concept was fascinating and amazing to me, it was completely about putting other people first. It is a skill that I will be able to take with me for the rest of my life in all aspects of leadership.Every Friday we would take a bus to the primary school near our school and teach them about making their Confirmation. We guided them through the process and the meaning behind everything through program workbooks. We would sing with them and laugh, and most importantly just have fun with the whole experience. It was hugely rewarding when the team attended the Service of Light for our kids to show them that we were here for them. The end goal of the program was to attend their Confirmation, but unfortunately coronavirus didn’t allow for this to happen. In week 7, we read “Solitude and Leadership” by William Deresiewicz, which talked all about courage and the changing role of leadership. Throughout the extract they talk about being physically vs. morally courageous, which I think is so important. The idea of courage crops up again! The author talked about being able to stand up for what you believe in, which really resonated with me and I will make a conscious effort to do this from now on. https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/35982/files/580893?module_item_id=180915 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/35982/files/580893?module_item_id=180915