Final Capstone Integration


The Life-Giving Force of Gratitude

Mission Statement:
I want to be remembered by my family, friends, wife, children, and those with who I had the pleasure
to work during my career, as a man who was grounded in humility, a leader with infectious
enthusiasm and simple goodness, and endless love.

I believe the highest good in life is to walk with others, serve others, learn from them, grow from them,
and ensure that everything you learn in service is passed down to the next generation. In doing so I
will prepare my children for a life of happiness yet challenge grounded by wisdom I have acquired in
the service of others. My desire to walk with and serve others stems from my immense gratitude for
everything my parents have done and still do for me. I grew up and continue to grow in a position of
privilege. I come from a well-off white catholic family in a suburb of Pennsylvania and never faced
true adversity. I believe that I owe it to those who were not as privileged as me to serve others, both
in and out of uniform. Serving my country is my main priority, but also serving my community. I
envision my service to my community in the form of a mentorship role for underprivileged children,
encouraging them to walk the path of love in pursuit of a higher purpose.

I want my children to know that they are loved unconditionally, but I will always hold them accountable
for their actions. I believe that the most important thing anyone can do in their life is to instill good
morals and love in their children in order to create a better future for everyone. Growing up, my
parents were always hard on me. My father comes from a large family from a very poor part of
Philadelphia who did not attend college and entered right into the workforce. He never wanted me to
grow up as that private school kid who knows nothing about hard work and adversity. I am grateful
that he always was hard on me, but showed me, unconditional love. He let me know when I was not
working hard enough or being an undisciplined child. I believe that has prepared me for a life in the
military where tough love is the only kind of love. I want to imbue my children with that same
unconditional yet tough love because that is the legacy I want to leave behind. In my future career as
a Marine Corps officer, if one of my junior Marines is failing fitness tests, I will sit them down, and take
whatever steps I need to according to the Marine Corps standards, but when I'm done truly ask them
why. I want to understand why they are being lazy with fitness. Maybe their situation at home is not
healthy or they are suffering from mental illness. I want to hold them accountable, but show them love
and walk with them if they are suffering, and actively participate in their recovery.

To prepare myself for the inevitable suffering it is important to remind myself that there will be a lot of
challenges and suffering in my future. I believe the best way to respond to suffering is to rely on your
friends, families, and loved ones that walk with me. By focusing on creating strong relationships now,
I am preparing my circle to help me get through difficult times. Just as I would help someone else who
is suffering. Anyone who believes they can suffer alone and overcome that suffering often figures out
that it just turns out worse.

I want to ensure that I return to the things that I do when I am at my best, am happiest, and most
content with the person I am. That is when I am training hard with my friends, whether that be in



martial arts, physical fitness, or military training. Training hard, challenging ourselves, and overcoming
adversity together brings us all together and morale is at its peak when we all sit down for a 7 am
breakfast after a hard workout. Starting my day off with a challenging workout alongside my closest
friends helps me stay centered and focused through the rest of the day, ensuring that I can be my
best self in all my interactions. I am also at my best when I am walking with other people who are
suffering. I believe I have gotten very good at just listening to people and letting them know that I am
there for them and feel the burden they also feel. Sometimes that is impossible for me to feel, such as
when I talk to one of my best friends Aiden. Aiden was one of the few black students in my high
school. We got very close because we started training Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu together. Something about
that training environment always led us to have great conversations such as race in our high school. I
never noticed the things he noticed, such as when doing a group read and the book had the n-word in
it, everyone in the class would glance at Aiden. It was subtle things like that that Aiden pointed out to
me that helped me avoid some of the little prejudice tendencies that made him feel uncomfortable.
Having those uncomfortable conversations with someone that I trust and care about is how I intend to
continue to break down biases and grow to be a more inclusive and understanding man.

In order for my mission to be successful, I need to always be finding new ways to challenge myself
and grow, I need to continue investing in life-giving relationships and eventually turn all my focus to
ensuring my children are in the best possible situation to learn and grow into people of great
character.

Reflection:
Need to tie everything to gratitude.

Reflecting on the past 14 weeks in Moreau, I want to explore the potential ways in which I can apply
the lessons I've learned to the next three years of my life and beyond. The most important lesson I
have learned this past year is the importance of gratitude. I am extremely grateful for the
opportunities I have been given in my life. Yes, I have earned many of them, but I am grateful for the
positions I have been put in to accomplish my goals. From a young age, I always had opportunities
thrown at me. I was and still am very privileged in that regard. I never needed to work outside of
school like some of my friends. I was able to focus on school and sports. I grew up in a safe
neighborhood and had a stable home situation. Today, I am on full scholarship at the University of
Notre Dame, so many people’s dream school. I am surrounded by some of the best mentors and
people I have ever met in my life. I can name at least 10 people that would drop whatever they are
doing and come help me with whatever I need. Most people can only name 1 or 2. I am very grateful
for the relationships I have formed here at Notre Dame.

I've learned that in order for real change to happen everyone needs to take an active role in it. For
example, if we want to make non-Catholics feel more included on campus, we all need to take a part
in that, not just the administration. It takes a little bit of effort from everyone to make real change. “All
of us are involved in the mission: those who go out to work and those whose labors sustain the
community itself, those in the fullness of their strength and those held back by sickness or by age,
those who abide in the companionship of a local house and those sent to live and work by
themselves, those in their active assignments and those who are still in training. All of us as a single



brotherhood are joined in one communal response to the Lord’s mission”(“Constitutions of the
Congregation of Holy Cross” - Moreau FYE Week 12). This quote resonates with me because it
speaks to how all the members of a community can participate in change. Everyone has a part that is
crucial for any unjust system to change.

Father Hesburgh comments: “We do not know where to go from here. And we do not know what
we're going to do. But I can guarantee you that there are a lot of battles yet to be won for justice.
There are a lot of mountains yet to be climbed to overcome human ignorance and human prejudice,
and at times human stupidity. There are many songs yet to be sung in the name of joy and happy
marriages, and good families, and dedication to all that is good and true and beautiful”(“Notre Dame
Commencement 1987” by Father Hesburgh - Week 2 Moreau). I felt such a strong feeling of
appreciation and gratitude for the opportunity I have in attending such an incredible University. Fr.
Hesburgh was so much more than the president of this university. He was a role model for every
student. He was a trusted voice for change in America. After having watched this movie, I will feel so
much appreciation walking past Hesburgh library every day. Everyone at Notre Dame must commit to
carrying out Father Hesburgh's vision of equality and contribute to his legacy.

One way we can all work towards eliminating bias and encouraging open conversation is by exposing
ourselves to different perspectives. In week 11 of Moreau, we learned about how biases grow when
we filter out all opposition. “His social network naturally filters friends. So he ends up hearing from a
very narrow segment of the population. Paul Joins a group on his online social network, devoted to
championing the benefits of extreme exercise. When some members express concerns about
developing unhealthy norms, they are immediately shut down”(“How to avoid an Echo Chamber” by
Dr. Paul Blaschko- Moreau FYE Week 11). By avoiding differing opinions, we only reinforce our
biases. In order to move forward as a society, we must all commit to being open to having our
opinions changed.

I am grateful for the friends that I have me at Notre Dame. I am beginning my journey to being more
comfortable with personal things and being vulnerable with at least 3 close friends. From week 10 of
Moreau, we read an anecdote about a guy growing up gay and catholic: “Wow, thanks for telling me,”
he said after a minute. “Do you want to talk about it?” The knot in my stomach untied, and I let go of
the steering wheel. When we got out of the car more than an hour later, we were both laughing and
wiping tears from our eyes” (“Growing up gay and catholic” by Jacob Walsh - Moreau FYE Week 10).
This reminded me of my friend Owen who came out as gay in high school. He was very brave and
told our 6 guy friends at the same time. We were all super close friends and none of us saw him any
differently. I admired the fact that he sat 6 of his closest guy friends down at the same time and came
out to them. That is the epitome of being vulnerable. I wish I had his courage. I learned from that
experience that being vulnerable to those who you trust is very important. Not only does it make you
feel better, it makes the whole group come together. Recently, I asked him how he mustered the
courage to tell us, and he said he was very afraid but he trusted us and knew we wouldn’t change the
way we felt about him. What I took from that conversation was the importance of a few very close
friends that you can share anything with. Life is difficult, curveballs hit all the time. In fact, I am dealing
with one right now and it is shaking my world up pretty good. Even if it changes my career path a lot, I
know that the friends and family I have met will be with me every step of the way. For that, I am very
grateful.

https://holycrosscongregation.org/holy-cross-resources/constitutions/2-mission/
https://holycrosscongregation.org/holy-cross-resources/constitutions/2-mission/
https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9
https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaIVxQcqnLs&t=1s&ab_channel=ThinkND
https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/community/reflective-narrative-about-being-gay-and-catholic/?utm_source=moreau&utm_medium=class&utm_campaign=spring_2022


A quote from week 9 also resonates with the idea of being vulnerable. “One cannot accompany
without being accompanied, in the same way, someone cannot be a good friend without being open
to friendship. This requires a great deal of humility. Not only is it important to walk together with
somebody, but one must also learn how to be accompanied to participate in the reciprocity of
accompaniment.”(“Teaching Accompaniment- A Learning Journey Together” by Professor Steve
Reifenberg - Moreau FYE Week 9). I am much more comfortable when I am the one listening to
someone be vulnerable, but I realized the best way to help someone be vulnerable is to open myself
up and be vulnerable. I started sharing what is going on in my life more with my best friend Robert.
We have been making weekly trips to the grotto at night and sharing what we have been struggling
with and what has been going well. I cherish these times with Robert and I am grateful that I get to
spend the next four years with him.

I believe that self-reflection is very important for productivity and overall mental health. I do a bad job
at self-reflection. I find myself only reflecting when times get tough, not when times are good. I believe
that I would benefit from taking a quiet period once a week at the grotto. Even if nothing is wrong,
forcing myself to debrief at the grotto would be good. I got this idea from Week 1 of Moreau. “The
computer chip maker Intel experimented with a “Quiet Period” of four hours every Tuesday, during
which three hundred engineers and managers were asked to turn off their email and phones and put
up “Do Not Disturb” signs on their office doors in order to make space for ‘thinking time’”(“Why dont
we slow down our lives” by Pico Iyler - Moreau FYE Week 1). I believe I would be more centered and
happy if I took a quiet period at the grotto every week.

Another way I make myself happy is by doing computer science work. I learned in high school that
when I am doing homework that I enjoy, it does not feel like homework. In week four of Moreau, I read
that “If you are in a major you enjoy, you will be more motivated to go to class, get better grades, and
overall be happier - all of that leads to better post-graduate outcomes.”(“Navigating Your Career
Journey - Moreau First Year Experience Course“ - Moreau FYE Week 4). I found this to be very true
and it makes me excited to be continuing with computer science at Notre Dame.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hZbSdVImfn2hZDqMrdL96dZCNOtHuf6C-lg3sH-Rs30/edit?usp=sharing
https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/
https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/
https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/
https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/