Integration 2 - Sandy Nam Nam 1 Sandy Seungyeon Nam Professor Espeseth Moreau FYE 3 December 2021 A Semester I Learned and Experienced So Much From I looked back on what I’ve encountered this semester, and honestly, it was the most fulfilling, enriching, and interesting semester I’ve experienced at Notre Dame. I’ve got to be an International ambassador and serve incoming international students. I helped them get adjusted to campus and even toured them, which were roles I always dreamed of doing once I got into college. I got to become more involved in research and finally discerned what type of research I would like to pursue in the future years as an undergraduate student. I attended boxing practices and even went to the morning ones at 6:30am! I went to parties and hung out with my friends like I never had before. I took a one day trip to Chicago, a fall break trip to Florida, and a thanksgiving break to my friend’s house in Wisconsin. I got to meet some of the most amazing people as well that I would have not expected to meet in the past. Frankly, I can say this was one of the most interesting and busiest periods of not only Notre Dame, but my entire lifetime. Surprisingly, the busy schedule made me feel the urge to maintain integrity in “following my passion” and “what my heart “truly desired”. I have been involved in a certain research lab for about two semesters, and I formed great relationships with the main graduate student of our project. The work I’ve done in the lab was insightful and interesting, but from a certain point, I realized that I was mostly engaged because of the skills I was learning, not the actual content of the project. I actually now yearn to dig deeper into neurological connections and neural degeneration. Although it is a difficult field to engage in and contribute to, I think the message Nam 2 by Father James can be a great motivation for me to keep up with my passion and continue with my research goals. “We need to have hope in that process to stick with it, to believe that what is born of questioning beliefs previously taken for granted will lead us to a new and better understanding of our vocation as citizens in this world and for the next” (“Hope - Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Fr. James B. King, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). After all, the idea of hope is not something that only religious people get to experience or develop. Non-Religious people and activities also at times need a leap of faith to progress, and during such moments, hope is needed for determination and dedication. Positive dreams and anticipation are sometimes the only thing you can count on in uncertain times (i.e. like nowadays) and you can only go ahead towards a goal once you begin to take a step. This quote exactly describes how hope can assist in educational processes and how taking new opportunities with leaps of faith this semester has made it so much more interesting and enriching. Another passion that I discovered was that I loved working with kids. I figured this out as I was volunteering at the Robinson Community Learning Center. I got to connect with a 7th grade student who really enjoys his tutoring session and always greets me with the warmest welcome every time I visit. It reminded me of the Kintsugi workshop video. I have never seen anything like such before, and I was surprised by the goodness it brings ("Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop" by Grotto - Moreau FYE Week Ten). While breaking pottery and putting it back together might seem like such a tedious and meaningless job to others, its symbolic meaning was recognized and appreciated by victims of household violence or scars of love. The way such victims grew and overcame their hurtful past through this activity is a remarkable phenomenon, and I was inspired how certain individuals like Kirsten Helgeson helped out her community’s central challenge by sharing her own experiences. I also wanted to https://campusministry.nd.edu/assets/105621/ https://campusministry.nd.edu/assets/105621/ https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau Nam 3 become another individual who can give back to the community with the stories and skills I have. Similar motivation made me want to become a doctor. “Community is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received” "Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community" by Parker J. Palmer, Center for Courage & Renewal, - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). I had grown up all my life hearing, from different institutions and social gatherings, about different communities for us to build together. A good community, meaning an utopian society, was what people often said we should try to achieve. However, this quote put me into perspective. Utopia is something we all know that we can never achieve. Why work hard towards something that we can’t achieve when we have diversity and reality so much better than the aspired perfection? As a member of a community I appreciate, I would like to give back by healing others, making them less sick, and help the underprivileged to feel less of their deprivations. Compared to last semester, everything is better. Except for one thing. I still haven't figured out a way to let myself go on necessary moments, and I think my major academic stress always sources back to myself and no one else. “The point is, these expectations are all arbitrary and not definitive rules for the only way to live life. There are other options out there.” ("Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit" by Julia Hogan, Grotto - Moreau FYE Week Nine). An advice that I have frequently heard from both my friends and teachers during highschool was “don’t be so hard on yourself”. Until then, I didn’t realize that I was being merciless to myself. I simply thought that I deserved to think that I was incompetent and shortcoming because the errors and mistakes were the result of my laziness and lack of caution. Reading this quote somehow soothed the anxious side of me and reminded me of the advice from my highschool teachers and friends. I keep forgetting about it, but when I look at the quote, I http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau Nam 4 know that it was a message I needed to hear. I hope that someday I will know more about who I am. I hope that I know my own limitations as well my competences, so that I will gracefully accept the results I’ve achieved with my best efforts. This will be my goal for the next years of my college career.