Integration One Kevin McCarthy Kevin McCarthy Moreau Integration One Thigpen 10 October 2021 My Experience at the University of Notre Dame Thus far, college has been quite the whirlwind. I have had to get acclimated to a new setting, meet new people, and do well in all of my classes, all in the past seven weeks. At certain points, it all felt quite overwhelming, however I wouldn’t trade the experience for the world. At the end of the day, being at the University of Notre Dame has helped me grow tremendously already as a person, and I cannot wait to spend the next four years here. Being at Notre Dame, I have felt as if I have been able to formulate certain foundational beliefs. For one, I believe that thus far, I have been searching for a new place to call home. Moving away from home to college was a much needed change of scenery. I had lived in a small town all of my life, and I knew everything and everyone in that town. It has been a wonderful experience meeting new people and having the ability to experience new things on my own. My parents and I have disagreed on numerous things in the past, and in the end it was ultimately their side I would have to take as I lived under their roof. However, at college I am free to do as I desire. However, I can never forget that “I’m from parents that love and care for me, people who have always wanted to see me succeed” and “I’m from siblings who love to fight, but at the end of the day always get along” (“Where I’m From” Poem - Moreau FYE Week 6). I love my parents and my siblings, and it is wonderful to know that they love me back. However, in order for me to truly find who I am as a person, I had to venture away from the small town of Little Silver and find a home at the University of Notre Dame. When talking to my parents, I now refer https://docs.google.com/document/u/1/d/1pZwe15AHYiUdrwpJad3FcJtes3OONyvz9XNM6qJDVYw/edit to Sorin College as home. I have been accepted into a community. I feel as if I have truly been able to dedicate my time to helping others and building relationships as well. On Monday nights me and some friends play interhall football, and this team truly has become a family that isn’t blood related. I have searched for, and I have found a home away from home. The most important thing about finding a new home is formulating new relationships as well. I believe that in order to formulate life-giving relationships I have to be my true self and be open with communication. When trying to be extroverted and outgoing, it can be possible to feel afraid. When you ask people about belonging, “they'll tell you their most excruciating experiences of being excluded” and when “you ask people about connection the stories they told me were about disconnection” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brene Brown - Moreau FYE Week 1). Many people, regardless of age, gender, or ethnicity experience shame at one point in their lives. This shame is universal, yet people still try to hide it and push their true emotions deep down inside of themselves. However, at Notre Dame I feel as if the community has been truly welcoming of all people, regardless of their fears or who they are. Thus far, I feel as if I can talk about anything with anyone. No one has put me down, and I have never put anyone else down. In order to form new relationships, I have seen the importance of being vulnerable. For example, in my Engineering Design class, I sat at a table with a bunch of random kids I have never seen in my life before on the first day of class. Soon enough, we all got to talking and by being open about my likes and dislikes, as well as not being afraid to show them who I truly am, real friendships were formulated amongst all of us. These are people I still talk to today, and it all started with me allowing myself to not be afraid of what they might think of me. By being my true self and not changing anything about me, I have been able to develop friendships with people who I want to be around, people who impact me positively. The most important way to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0 develop valuable relationships is to be vulnerable as well as not being afraid to communicate by initiating any kind of conversation. Being at such an amazing university, I believe that I have a greater purpose than just looking at books and solving homework problems. I believe that one of my purposes on this campus is to be there for others when they need me the most, not only at Notre Dame but in the greater community as well. It can often feel as if “we have been swimming in waters that feel bottomless, but on such occasions our toes just touch the bedrock. And as love dawns, so does our sight.” (“Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” by David Fagerberg - Moreau FYE Week 3). Regardless of one who may be, they have most likely felt alone and dismayed at one point or another in their lives. I know that I can sometimes have a pessimistic attitude towards certain situations, and I know how badly this attitude can make me feel. This is why I believe that it’s so important to be there for others. You never know when someone is going through something, and you never know when someone may need a shoulder to lean on. It is a necessity for me to be someone another person can count on at any given time, and that is why I am always available to my friends and family to talk about anything at any time. It is so important for me to keep the faith in my life, and when others have no faith, I want to be the person that gives them at least a little hope for the future. I love to help inspire those around me, to help them preserve through their problems. It is always important to have people alongside yourself. I believe that I can grow spiritually and morally by immersing myself in a positive environment. I love interacting with people who are going to challenge me to be better every day, regardless of who they may be. The best kind of relationships “are the ones where you leave with a smile on your face, https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau knowing you’re both growing to be better people and that you’re helping each other get there” (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia T. Taylor - Moreau FYE Week 4). I have had my fair share of relationships that do not leave me with a smile on my face. I have had very poor friendships in the past, relationships that have involved manipulation and insulting language. These relationships are not fun for either party. It is so important to me that I surround myself with positive people, people that I want to be around. It is an integral part of my experience thus far that I remain true to myself and change who I am for no person. I always try to seek out the people that will make me better, and I have been so fortunate thus far to formulate great relationships with great people. Being surrounded by people who have a positive influence on me, I feel as if I can have a positive impact on the community. I believe that I am made to be in service to others with my peers. Carla Harris sums it up quite well in my opinion when she states that “ [she was] a product of Catholic schools… where [she] learned… to be of service to others and frankly to help anyone, anyway, anyhow [one] can” (“2021 Laetare Medalist Address” by Carla Harris - Moreau FYE Week 5). Even though I was not a student at a Catholic school until this year, my Catholic upbringing taught me this lesson a long time ago. One of my favorite parts of high school was providing food for low income families that were in need of relief during quarantine. Every Saturday morning, my friends and I would participate in this organization, called Companeros de Comida. It was a wonderful and rewarding experience using my blessings to help spread good in the community. I love to continue this practice here as I am excited to soon be a part of the Catholic Worker Breakfast for Sorin College. It is so important to me that I help out as much as I can. This does not always need to be a volunteering opportunity for me however. Something as https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4 simple as helping a fellow peer work through a difficult math problem brightens my day. I love to help in any shape or form possible. Even though the Notre Dame community is dedicated to unity and helping each other out, there is still some progress that can be made. Implicit bias is still prevalent today and I believe that the Notre Dame community should address this bias to create a truly welcoming community. One reason people on both the right and the left “are skeptical of implicit bias might be pretty simple: it isn’t nice to think we aren’t very nice” (“How to Think about ‘Implicit Bias’” by Keith Payne, Laura Niemi, John M. Doris - Moreau FYE Week 7). In society today, there is a lot of division and people refuse to listen to the opinions of others because many believe that the opinions of others hold no merit. This notion is completely false. It is so important to me that I truly hear the other person’s point of view, and realize that what I think may be wrong. Other’s opinions can be enlightening and may lead me to the real truth as well as show me why I was initially wrong. Unless we truly listen to each other, we can never reach our full potential as a community. I have of course shut other people down because I disagreed with them in the past, and this was wrong of me to do. I have grown and seen the importance of actually listening to others. Once I started listening, my life has completely changed for the better. This will have to come in time for all as maturity is a large part of the truth. In order for us to truly find out what’s real, it is necessary to hear everyone’s beliefs and collectively decide what is right and wrong. It can often be quite difficult to choose the moral high ground when there are certain irresistible temptations. Life and greed sometimes get the best of us. Society can potentially turn us into “shrewd animals who treat life as a game, and [one can] become a cold, calculating creature who slips into a sort of mediocrity where [they] realize there's a difference between [their] desired self and [their] actual self” (“Should You Live for our Resume or Your Eulogy” by https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-think-about-implicit-bias/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week 2). In the world that we all live in today, it can be tough to find a balance between doing what you personally want to do, and doing what is asked of you. At times, I have found it difficult for me to balance my social life and work. However, in the end staying focused on my studies and rewarding myself by spending time with friends, I have been able to find a good balance. I believe that it is always important to choose what your own heart desires. True happiness and everlasting joy can only be achieved through oneself. It is always important to put yourself first and foremost, even if it feels that society is frowning upon you. In my short few weeks at the University of Notre Dame, I truly have learned so much about myself. I have been able to flourish as an independent (young) adult and I would not trade my experiences for the world. This place truly is my home away from home, and I am already looking forward to my return back to campus next Friday.