Integration 1 Arcidiacono 1 Growth and Thankfulness I believe that I should focus on fixing myself rather than the rest of the world. I believe that the key to joy is overcoming our natural negativity bias. I believe that I should be rather than seem. I believe that I should focus on fixing myself rather than the rest of the world. There is simply too much wrong with this world for one man to try and fix it all. But the best that I can possibly do is make myself the best man I can be. Originally, I came up with this idea because I thought the best way to do the most good was to make myself into someone who is capable of doing lots of good. This idea goes hand in hand with Brene Brown’s talk on Vulnerability. She says: “We can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brene Brown, Moreau FYE Week 1). In other words, if we want to be compassionate, we need to be good, self-loving people. However, now I believe that the end goal is my personal growth, rather than the good I bring into the world. I got this new idea from my dad when I told him that this was my method of doing good. He simply asked if maybe God put us on this earth so we can grow and learn rather than try and fix the world. This caught me off guard and really impacted my perspective on what the meaning of life is. I think this also relates to an idea that stood out to me in David Brook’s TED Talk. He says: “Adam one is built by building on our strengths; adam two is built by fighting your weaknesses” (“Should You Live for Your Resume or Your Eulogy?” by David Brooks, Moreau FYE Week 2). As a strong supporter of Adam two, this quote supports the idea that our purpose here on earth is to grow. If it was simply to bring good, maximizing strengths would make sense, but fixing our weaknesses is what we should be focusing on. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaITh2s1WbM-Kd0&index=3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM Arcidiacono 2 I believe that the key to joy is overcoming our natural negativity bias. After going through my first breakup, I was in a very bad place and decided to see a councelor in order to help me overcome my depression. He was the one who introduced me to how we naturally focus on the negative parts of life. Since then, I have tried very hard to focus on the positive aspects of life to counteract this negativity biad and have become a much more joyful person. I think this relates a lot to what Chimamanda Adichie said in her talk on stories: “All of these stories make me who I am, but to insist on only these negative stories is to flatten my experience and to overlook the many other stories that formed me” (“The danger of a single story” by Chimamanda Adichie, Moreau FYE Week 7). Our lives can’t just be defined by our sufferings, that leaves out way too much of the story. Granted, we shouldn’t only focus on the good, as that will leave us vulnerable to naivety, but a good balance is how we find joy in life. This belief greatly influenced my “Where I’m From” poem. One of my favorite lines in the poem reads: “Where the familiar walls bring peace to my soul, // And joy overwhelms me as I know I am home.” (“Where I’m From” by , Moreau FYE Week 6). I really tried to focus on the pleasant things in life in writing that poem, and I was truly joyful in remembering all the great things about home. I believe that peace comes from faith. One of my favorite songs of all time is “No Hard Feelings” by the Avett Brothers. The song describes death, but in a positive light as it describes laughing with Jesus as we meet Him for the first time. Whenever I listen to this song, I am at complete peace as even death shouldn’t be feared. And, to quote Victor from the class of 2023, “The one thing that I could never lose and that no one could ever take away from me is my faith” (“Student Reflections on Faith at Notre Dame” by Victor, Moreau FYE Week 3). With this combination of not fearing death from my faith, and my faith being something that I can always cling to, I can be at peace. In addition to peace about death, faith brings peace in other struggles. In his letter to Blessed Basil https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1DR__bi_4jtDpLCGQt0Xesl9yrb3wQ19v4YxZhYIYngo/edit https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YVemqUBaAs5DNBPYm806TyQZr3F0xElP/view https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YVemqUBaAs5DNBPYm806TyQZr3F0xElP/view Arcidiacono 3 Moreau, Fr. Sorin wrote: “The weather did not moderate for a moment; each morning the wind seemed to us more piercing, as we pulled forward on our journey due north. But God was with us” (“Fr. Sorin Letter to Bl. Basil Moreau” by Father Sorin, Moreau FYE Week 5). Fr. Sorin faced great difficulties when trying to reach South Bend, but he was at peace because he knew God was watching over them. In this way, anyone with faith can be at peace in any situation. I believe that I should be rather than seem (Esse quam videri - North Carolina’s motto). One of the greatest temptations in life is to look like you have a positive characteristic without actually having that characteristic. However, it is clear that this temptation is wrong, especially in the light that Jesus tells us to give to the poor in secret rather than in front of a crowd. This belief has impacted my life leading up to this point a lot as it led me to advocate against social media. When I had social media, I wanted to show off all my talents and good traits and would exaggerate what I was capable of doing. I soon realized how much better it would be to actually possess those characteristics than just trying to pretend to have them. I quit social media, gave a talk to my high school about its dangers, and wrote my main college essay about that talk. This relates to a quote I liked in the article on toxic relationships. It says: “Beware of the friend who says they hate drama. Unfortunately, this is usually the kind of friend who actually loves drama and frequently finds him- or herself in the center of it” (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship” by Olivia Taylor, Moreau FYE Week 4). People who say they hate drama try to act like they are above drama, but that energy spent acting could be much better spent actually avoiding drama. We must combat this desire to seem if we are to become the best people we can be. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o56woQDq3QrRkziT8eYrvYly5CQaP2Vb/view https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/